# Experiences with this?



## FloridaGuy48 (Jun 30, 2014)

What do you think?


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

I've never cold approached before, so maybe I don't have good advice but I'd think that a simple greeting would be a good icebreaker. Don't prepare a line or anything to say...that's not a good way to approach a stranger. I'm sure they could tell if you're saying something at random or something that's been rehearsed. Make a comment about something that's going on around you...and see if she carries the convo. If not, then she's probably not interested, or could be busy or whatever else. Just don't be forceful and try to be considerate(don't try to pick up someone who looks busy or in a rush). Good luck!


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

I think making small talk is the best measure while much harder is also more full proof than just stopping her and asking for her number. 

I know there's women on here that hate 'cold approaching' but I can't really seem the harm of it. As long as she doesn't appear too busy then go for it.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Just make small talk, have a laugh with them and figure out if there's a chance their personality will click well with yours.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Small talk. Asking for the number immediately will get a no. Sometimes even in social events, when asked for the number I get spooked like a deer in headlights and my automatic reaction is to say no or "send me a message through the website."


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## macky (Jan 25, 2015)

Walking up to people and asking for numbers as the opener, lol. Seriously it's about the small talk. The opener could either be a comment on something about the immediate environment, or directly indicating you want to talk to her. Or whatever. You got to think on your feet basically.


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## photorealisticotakuman (May 8, 2013)

"hey" -->small talk. When she starts being open to conversation say; " Life is weird...I might not see you here again and I'm interested in you. I wish I had a plan to meet you again, so is there a way I can contact you ? "

Goodluck


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## Fey (Nov 4, 2014)

Everyone's already said the obvious so I'm going to go ahead and say it..

Tap dat shawty! Show them ladies some real uptown funk.

Do not do that.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

This might work. Or it might get you arrested.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Blue Scout said:


> I saw a guy go up to a random girl and ask for her number. She was married though so he got rejected.


Or she just said so because only weirdos would go up and cold approach a woman and make her feel defensive and nervous like that.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Buckyx said:


> like you'r so desperate and doesnt care much


:yes


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Blue Scout said:


> Nope. The woman was my mom.


So some random dude goes up in front of a kid even... wow.


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## Bargeld (Feb 17, 2015)

>> approach a random woman
>>attractive woman in a grocery store or walking down the street

Don't. Try someone you have regular contact with - scan your classes and workplace first.

People don't want to interact with rando sex-grubbers as they go about their errands. The approach you sketched is a blind spray of bullets and a prayer. Conserve your bullets, find an approachable person, and go for a concentrated stream in a single direction.

Godspeed, K-selected male.


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## Bargeld (Feb 17, 2015)

Also, agreeing with previous posters that even considering this is totally fedora-tier.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

AussiePea said:


> Just make small talk, have a laugh with them and figure out if there's a chance their personality will click well with yours.


I agree. Equation: hello - small talk - number = score

Maybe those should be "plus signs," but you get my drift..


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

macky said:


> Walking up to people and asking for numbers as the opener, lol. Seriously it's about the small talk. The opener could either be a comment on something about the immediate environment, or directly indicating you want to talk to her. Or whatever. You got to think on your feet basically.


Truth.


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

Bargeld said:


> >> approach a random woman
> >>attractive woman in a grocery store or walking down the street
> 
> Don't. Try someone you have regular contact with - scan your classes and workplace first.
> ...


Gotta agree with this. Approaching random women in random places is probably a bad idea. She should at least know you exist first


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I don't personally think it's a big deal as long as you're in a fairly public place and probably during the day. But it'll bother most people, especially women, so probably not worth trying.

If you do do that you'd probably want to make some kind of joke or something first, have confident body language, and then ask for her number. I think more confident women may be more likely to appreciate it but at the same time, probably only if you appear physically attractive to her. Since she won't know anything else about you.

They're sort of taking a risk on you, so that means you have to be better looking. A bit like how you usually need to be better looking to get one night stands from women you don't know, compared to relationships.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> I don't personally think it's a big deal as long as you're in a fairly public place and probably during the day. But it'll bother most people, especially women, so probably not worth trying.
> 
> If you do do that you'd probably want to make some kind of joke or something first, have confident body language, and then ask for her number. I think more confident women may be more likely to appreciate it but at the same time, probably only if you appear physically attractive to her. Since she won't know anything else about you.
> 
> They're sort of taking a risk on you, so that means you have to be better looking. A bit like how you usually need to be better looking to get one night stands from women you don't know, compared to relationships.


Another excuse to post my recent favorite video explaining things. Basically like you say, whether you cold approach them or just walk up and put your dick in their face, in the end it really boils down to how you look and if you are rich.. If not no changes in your approach style will matter, and if you're rich and good looking their reaction won't matter much to you either.

https://vimeo.com/30042289​


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

knightofdespair said:


> Another excuse to post my recent favorite video explaining things. Basically like you say, whether you cold approach them or just walk up and put your dick in their face, in the end it really boils down to how you look and if you are rich.. If not no changes in your approach style will matter, and if you're rich and good looking their reaction won't matter much to you either.
> 
> https://vimeo.com/30042289​


That's not what I said or meant. If you're a dick about it there's a small minority of women who have no self respect that'll go for you, or if they're a golddigger and you seem rich or something. But if you approach with confidence and are fairly polite about it, then how you look will be relevant.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> That's not what I said or meant. If you're a dick about it there's a small minority of women who have no self respect that'll go for you, or if they're a golddigger and you seem rich or something. But if you approach with confidence and are fairly polite about it, then how you look will be relevant.


Which is why the video is so funny.. He's getting shot down simply because of who he is lol... Which is how it happens in real life to most guys on here.


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## Bargeld (Feb 17, 2015)

knightofdespair said:


> in the end it really boils down to how you look and if you are rich


Hey, you know what would be fun. OP should post pics and we can bet on his cold-call success rate given his attractiveness.

He's 16, so we know money won't be a factor.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

I sat next to an attractive girl on an 8 hour flight last week and said a whole of 2 words to her the entire flight. Therefore my advice in this thread should be taken with a grain of salt.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Not gonna lie, I really appreciate a man who can cold approach.

An honest to God man's man who can come up to a woman that he's never set eyes once upon in his life until that very moment, walk up to her, catch her off her guard with an approach that only lets her know he thinks she's so attractive and titillating that he couldn't NOT approach her and ask for her number.


Now that is a done deal.


Unfortunately for me, 99% of the guys I encounter have the complete opposite method of approaching me, more like a wounded gazelle hiding behind the brush, waiting until The perfect moment (if ever) or until I'm in some gullible position to slightly infer at the idea that they're interested without fully saying outright or making a complete fool of themselves.

And regarding AussiePea's 8 hour flight, hell, I sat next to a guy once on an 11 hour flight from Europe to the states that wouldn't shut the f*** up, so maybe it's not such a bad thing when guys are at a loss for words





Especially in a situation where a woman can not reject him. Tastefully. Heh


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

calichick said:


> Not gonna lie, I really appreciate a man who can cold approach.
> 
> An honest to God man's man who can come up to a woman that he's never set eyes once upon in his life until that very moment, walk up to her, catch her off her guard with an approach that only lets her know he thinks she's so attractive and titillating that he couldn't NOT approach her and ask for her number.
> 
> ...


Your posts are so conflicting. You've made so many about how you want a 'submissive' guy but then you also want the kind of guy who would come up to you super confidently and cold approach you? Does this kind of guy even exist? He sounds like a very conflicting person. Like someone who is incredibly confident in all situations and stereotypically manly but he'll turn into a lapdog just for you but only when you want him to? :con yeah, I'm sorry, it does sound a little fictional.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Like someone who is incredibly confident in all situations and stereotypically manly but he'll turn into a lapdog just for you but only when you want him to?


That is incredibly attractive to me yes. And I think it's not unreasonable to find that a quality in most men, because most men are by nature "dominant" but when they meet a woman they really like they become easy to control.

I think being able to cold approach just means the man takes initiative and isn't afraid to go after what he wants.

So in a way, it's not conflicting at all. It all revolves around the woman ultimately having the upper hand and her never having to lift a finger (lol sad but true).


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

With confidence, patience and enough chloroform.


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## macky (Jan 25, 2015)

calichick said:


> That is incredibly attractive to me yes. And I think it's not unreasonable to find that a quality in most men, because most men are by nature "dominant" but when they meet a woman they really like they become easy to control.
> 
> I think being able to cold approach just means the man takes initiative and isn't afraid to go after what he wants.
> 
> So in a way, it's not conflicting at all. It all revolves around the woman ultimately having the upper hand and her never having to lift a finger (lol sad but true).


"Easy to control", "(you) never lifting a finger". I don't know how often you've being in these types of relationships, but I sensing:um what you're talking about as a kind of fantasy. Once you've actually got it, you'd completely lose respect for him. Any woman with high self esteem would leave him. Only reason you'd choose to stay was if you had incredibly low self esteem, was stuck with him or was a gold digger.


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

.


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

Bargeld said:


> >> approach a random woman
> >>attractive woman in a grocery store or walking down the street
> 
> Don't. Try someone you have regular contact with - scan your classes and workplace first.
> ...


every person before you get to know them is random at first.

I say go for it as long as you're respectful about it.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

AussiePea said:


> I sat next to an attractive girl on an 8 hour flight last week and said a whole of 2 words to her the entire flight. Therefore my advice in this thread should be taken with a grain of salt.


At least with a flight you're there together for a reason and presumably going somewhere interesting (maybe?) which lends itself to some small talk unless they're a total *****  Still if I was next to someone reasonably attractive I'd probably try to at least ask where they are going, if its vacation or work or whatnot and break the ice a little bit.

That's a whole different scenario than wandering up to every attractive married woman in the grocery store and making an *** out of yourself, or doing all the work for someone like calichick so they can throw you under the bus the next day when she meets someone else.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

SilentLuke said:


> every person before you get to know them is random at first.
> 
> I say go for it as long as you're respectful about it.


Good outlook.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

macky said:


> "Easy to control", "(you) never lifting a finger". I don't know how often you've being in these types of relationships, but I sensing:um what you're talking about as a kind of fantasy. Once you've actually got it, you'd completely lose respect for him. Any woman with high self esteem would leave him. Only reason you'd choose to stay was if you had incredibly low self esteem, was stuck with him or was a gold digger.


You mad sweetheart?


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## jsmith92 (Dec 30, 2013)

calichick said:


> You mad sweetheart?


Haha


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

W A N D E R L U S T said:


> "Hai derr. I noticed you dropped your baby back there. Here you go."
> 
> *Hand it over like a good Samaritan. Please prop it's head upright while you're doing so.*
> 
> Begin seduction.


Your avatar goes very well with your post lol


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## FloridaGuy48 (Jun 30, 2014)

calichick said:


> Not gonna lie, I really appreciate a man who can cold approach.
> 
> An honest to God man's man who can come up to a woman that he's never set eyes once upon in his life until that very moment, walk up to her, catch her off her guard with an approach that only lets her know he thinks she's so attractive and titillating that he couldn't NOT approach her and ask for her number.
> 
> ...


 So what was the best cold approach a guy has ever used on you?


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

chrisinmd said:


> So what was the best cold approach a guy has ever used on you?


In college, I was getting a ton of exposure to men because I took public transit everywhere so was constantly out and about.

Anything and everything to be honest, what they said didn't really change my perception of them, if they were cute or not is a huge factor, but...

"Hold on, do you want to go for coffee sometime?" Guy in street
"I think you're [/i]really[/I] pretty" Guy who follows me home
"You have some amazing legs on you, what are you doing later?" Guy in car
"How tall are you?" Extremely cute guy on the train
"Are you watching that or just pretending to?" Recent guy who I posted about on my job. British.
"_Damn_, what do you do here?" Even the more simple the better...guy who drops off his # at my work
"Where did you get your bag?" A little gay but I stopped for it. Was carrying a fake Fendi
"Are you a model?" A thousand times over
"You are smoking hot. I just wanted to tell you that" Guy in passing
"There are free salsa lessons on Friday, do you want to join me" Guy in museum

You have to give a guy credit for trying. As the Pink song goes, try, try, try..


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## FloridaGuy48 (Jun 30, 2014)

calichick said:


> In college, I was getting a ton of exposure to men because I took public transit everywhere so was constantly out and about.
> 
> Anything and everything to be honest, what they said didn't really change my perception of them, if they were cute or not is a huge factor, but...
> 
> ...


So did any of these approaches work for the guys? Did you end up having relationships with any of them?


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Bargeld said:


> The approach you sketched is a blind spray of bullets and a prayer. Conserve your bullets, find an approachable person, and go for a concentrated stream in a single direction.


That's not how dating as a straight guy works. A man learns that he should not get emotionally invested in any individual woman until there's a strong mutual attraction for each other. It's always better to ask out as many women you find attractive as possible, and not give a sh** what they're feeling about you.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

chrisinmd said:


> So did any of these approaches work for the guys? Did you end up having relationships with any of them?


No: because majority were not my type and the few that I found attractive didnt seal the deal.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

My approach was a short conversation + asking for her number

I tried to find something genuine I found interesting or depending on the setting use that as the conversation starter. Example: If I saw a girl with a nice shirt I'd compliment her on that then work my way from there.

If I think things went well, I'd ask for her number and if we can see each other in the near future (well I didn't word it that robotically lol)


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## FloridaGuy48 (Jun 30, 2014)

Buckyx said:


> get drunk and approach, I did that only few times but evertime was successful but they had bfs lol, but still interested enough HAHA


I have tried the get drunk and approach technique. A little liquid courage goes a long way.


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

All I know is after the small talk before you two part ways you better get her number or it will seem pointless..and from what I've heard the initial convo/small talk doesn't have to be long.


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## abc1234 (May 2, 2014)

"i'm 0 you're 1 thogheter we're 10" 

just be honest...


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## HilarityEnsues (Oct 4, 2012)

Just walk up, say hi, introduce yourself and try and start a conversation. Whatever you do don't come across as desperate or perverted in anyway, believe me when I say women can sense that stuff from miles away. 

Easier said then done, I know.


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## i just want luv (Feb 13, 2011)

Fey said:


> Everyone's already said the obvious so I'm going to go ahead and say it..
> 
> Tap dat shawty! Show them ladies some real uptown funk.


Absolutely do this, it is how I got engaged, you'll love it.


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## FloridaGuy48 (Jun 30, 2014)

HilarityEnsues said:


> Just walk up, say hi, introduce yourself and try and start a conversation. Whatever you do don't come across as desperate or perverted in anyway, believe me when I say women can sense that stuff from miles away.
> 
> Easier said then done, I know.


The starting a conversation part is the scenario I have trouble with. Makes sense since im on a social anxiety forum. I get nervous and cant think. Is there a go to line that you use to start conversations? Guess it would vary depending on situation. Guess it is the fear of rejection thing worrying that I will say something stupid.


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## The Vegan Warrior (Dec 23, 2015)

The best way is in a dark alley, because girls love romantic spots like that. Preferably approuch with a weapon of some sort to show her how you are ready to defend her honor at all times. I would also intensely stare at her too to establish sexual dominance and show her how alpha you are


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## lonesomeboy (Aug 29, 2005)

don't forget show pictures of your dungeon


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