# Interesting study - Employment and desirability



## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

http://www.hlntv.com/article/2012/07/05/women-wont-date-unemployed-men?hpt=hp_bn15

*-Survey says 65% of men would date a woman without a job*
*-The results weren't the same for ladies: 75% say it's unlikely they'd date an unemployed man*

And how about you?
Would you date an unemployed person?


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

TPower said:


> http://www.hlntv.com/article/2012/07/05/women-wont-date-unemployed-men?hpt=hp_bn15
> 
> [*]Survey says 65% of men would date a woman without a job[*]The results weren't the same for ladies: 75% say it's unlikely they'd date an unemployed man
> And how about you?
> Would you date an unemployed person?


Shocking... /sarcasm

No I would not date an unemployed person.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

It depends. I would need someone to help raise babies. It's out-of-control/preganant teen prevention.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

rymo said:


> Shocking... /sarcasm
> 
> No I would not date an unemployed person.


Why? I would - if I was interested in dating. And if she had a good reason for being unemployed. Or if she had a hot bod.


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## kilgoretrout (Jul 20, 2011)

Wow, there is hope for me after all.


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## Tentative (Dec 27, 2011)

If she lives near me I'd consider it. She may be unemployed, but she has to be willing to make improvements.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

No, I probably wouldn't. I think guys more and more do care about their partner's job and earning power. One income is not enough to live a nice lifestyle.


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## rgrwng (Aug 25, 2011)

i can barely scrape by on 1600/month. i would not date a jobless mate, especially if they do not work and make me spend my money. i prefer working women.


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

I make enough to live a good lifestyle, if the girl was willing to help me save money...

I kind of think women like that are very rare now a days with all of the shoe shopping, new/updated home stuff, and jewelry.


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## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

A woman who earns her paycheck is a sexy woman. Same can be said for a man.


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

lyric555 said:


> A woman who earns her paycheck is a sexy woman. Same can be said for a man.


Not if they are working 60 hours a week, commuting for 2 hours a day...


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

i expect our finances to be separate. so it doesn't matter.

seems like it was visitors to a US dating site being surveyed. however that may have skewed the results i don't know.


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

Good or bad, gender roles are nowhere near as dead as people think...


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I'd say this is probably very true. Not to start a gender war, or anything.


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## gusstaf (Jan 1, 2012)

Yes, but it would depend a bit on the circumstances. If the person was going to school, great. If he was actively looking for a job, also great. And if he had some mental problem that prevented him from working, I'd hope that he would be working on getting it under control.

In this economy, if you put a blanket ban on the unemployed, you're probably missing out on a lot of amazing people.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

So this is to the people who said they wouldn't date someone who is unemployed : If the person you were dating got fired from her job would you dump him/her? If she got laid off through no fault of her own would you dump him/ her?


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

komorikun said:


> No, I probably wouldn't. I think guys more and more do care about their partner's job and earning power. One income is not enough to live a nice lifestyle.


If you're talking about cohabitation, then yes I would want my female partner to be employed. I'm making around 3200-3300/month right now but my hours could be cut in a couple months. And I'm not even sure if my income would be enough to support two people in a Toronto suburb (and if she's a single mom, would be even more difficult). If it was financially feasible, I would be ok with her staying at home.

If she's not living with me, I don't care about her employment status.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

scarpia said:


> So this is to the people who said they wouldn't date someone who is unemployed : If the person you were dating got fired from her job would you dump him/her? If she got laid off through no fault of her own would you dump him/ her?


No, I would not dump them. By then I would be already invested in the relationship and care for the person.


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## Class (Nov 6, 2011)

I'm a broke college student. I don't think it's very fair of me to judge a guy as undesirable if he doesn't have a job - I don't have one and I'm enjoying it (Except that I want money. Ahhhh). Can't a guy do the same?


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

greencarpet said:


> Are you unemployed TPower?


I left my job a few weeks ago, but I have a few thousand dollars.

I have a GF too.


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## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

"When poverty comes in the window, love goes out the door."


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

gustafsg said:


> Yes, but it would depend a bit on the circumstances. If the person was going to school, great. If he was actively looking for a job, also great. And if he had some mental problem that prevented him from working, I'd hope that he would be working on getting it under control.
> 
> In this economy, if you put a blanket ban on the unemployed, you're probably missing out on a lot of amazing people.


Good point.

And it really depends on the individual person. Some might date someone out of work, if they were going to school. Some might not. It is based on an individual basis.


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## Mirror (Mar 16, 2012)

I would expect him to be looking for one if he did not have one. So no, I technically would not date a guy without a job. It's just biology. Females want males that can provide for their young. Humans aren't really that different, we just have thoughts and society.


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## northstar1991 (Oct 4, 2011)

I'd date a guy who was unemployed as long as he was trying to find a job.


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## CoastalSprite (Sep 8, 2011)

There is one, maybe two, people I've met who are special enough to me that their employment status wouldn't matter, if a relationship were to happen. 

Generally though, as long as they have the economic potential to take care of themselves in the long-run, it's fine. Watching TSN at someone's house doesn't cost anything in the meantime :b

I should probably add that I don't have much room to talk- I'd happily be unemployed till I graduated college (3+ years away ).


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## strawberryjulius (Jun 28, 2009)

My boyfriend was unemployed when I met him. It didn't really cross my mind, to be honest.


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## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

If I were fully employed, it wouldn't matter to me, as long as she was happy. Unfortunately, I am underemployed and still dependent on mom. :/


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## TrcyMcgrdy1 (Oct 21, 2011)

This just proves that women tend to be gold diggers. Men just want some ***** and women want material ****. That si blunt and not always the truth but this survey here gives the general view of women wanting money and men wanting poon more legit.


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## lanzman (Jun 14, 2004)

I would not date anyone intentionally unemployed.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

Women without jobs are scum these days.

Unless they are at school, or trying hard to find one.


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## Amorphousanomaly (Jun 20, 2012)

It should be said that there is a difference between someone between jobs and one who is chronically unemployed. I would date someone between jobs, not someone that had never had, or had no intention of finding a job.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

No I wouldn't mind. I'd love to have someone to come home to every day. Much better that, then having plenty of money and being alone.


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## David777 (Feb 6, 2011)

Yes I would, and I'm all MAN!!!! I have a very strong desire to protect and provide.

... Though of course I wouldn't say no to a Suggah mamma either.


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## Rivermark (Jun 17, 2011)

VickieKitties said:


> It should be said that there is a difference between someone between jobs and one who is chronically unemployed. I would date someone between jobs, not someone that had never had, or had no intention of finding a job.


^


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## WalkingDisaster (Nov 27, 2010)

This survey doesn't surprise me. Men tend to look primarily for looks and personality in women, and women tend to look for success/status and personality in men. This is of course a generalisation, but I think a fair one.


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## Onigiri (Aug 3, 2010)

In a nutshell, no, I would not date a man who chose to be permanently (or habitually) unemployed. I'd rather not support my adult child-partner who can't contribute if I'm bearing a child. The guy must MAN up and quit being a pansy... and if he whines... byeeeee.

(I work my arse off and occasionally spend long hours at the office - I used to date men who were unemployed and/or underemployed and they resented me for it. I'd rather have someone who understands that when the **** hits the ceiling, it just has to be done. On the same note, if he's in between jobs and careers, that's understandable and it's okay.)


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## mysterioussoul (Jul 17, 2010)

this is what i fear about dating and insecure about women dismissing me because of my unemployment.

i consistently look for work and i'm going to study to gain qualification to help me gain employment. being unemployed is the main reason for my depression. it makes me feel worthless and suicidal. i want to work but the job market is so competitive and if you don't have some kind of experience you're screwed. no one is willing to give you a chance.


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

I cannot just answer yes or no - I would prefer if the other person was working but because jobs here are so hard to come by that may not be possible. If they were unemployed I would prefer at the very least that they were looking for work or there was a reason they were not working fine but I do not understand pure laziness.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Janniffy said:


> If they were unemployed I would prefer at the very least that they were looking for work or there was a reason they were not working fine but I do not understand pure laziness.


I don't believe "pure laziness" exists.
Everybody I know or have talked to say that they would love to contribute and feel useful, but there can just be things (practical, physical or psychological) that prevent it.
I don't think anybody wants to stay at home and never do anything - I don't think you can be so "lazy" that your life is suffering from it.

And frankly I'm appalled by many of the replies to this thread.
Not surprised, but just sad that this is how we judge each other.. that people we deal with have to contribute and add value to our lives, because we all know human beings don't have an inherent value in themselves, right? They must be successful to be worthy.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

joinmartin said:


> You do get "lazy people". People who, for whatever reason, express that their ambition is to live off benefits, not do anything etc.


All right.. I'm sure there's a very, very small percentage like that, but nowhere near enough to be those this poll is referring to.
Far and away most people want to feel useful. Most people go crazy if all they do is stay at home and do nothing.



> With respect, I think you're misinterpreting people's replies here. ...


I'll admit that I did phrase that rather strongly, but I still maintain that people increasingly want the others in their life to be "successes".
It's my claim that the view on unemployment isn't about laziness, but rather about status, and that being unemployed is seen as a failure and that that is why people don't want to be with somebody out of a job - conveniently forgetting that we are on this site because there is at least one area what we ourselves are not a success in.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

lyric555 said:


> A woman who earns her paycheck is a sexy woman. Same can be said for a man.





Classified said:


> Not if they are working 60 hours a week, commuting for 2 hours a day...


True dat.....I have been fighting this for years!


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

greencarpet said:


> Milco, every mature adult is going to have their individual thoughts and feelings. This is inclusive of judgmental thoughts. And that's okay. It would be a mistake to point out an opposing idea by stating they're appalling for feeling a certain way. At first I thought this thread would be a fun distraction by posting cheap ways to have fun dates with other people. But in the grand scheme of things, both spouses need to contribute towards each others happiness in any healthy relationship. When people are seeking status, this rarely happen. Which is why at times these relationships will fail. Whether or not somebody views unemployment as failure will not change this. If anything, it's better to push toxic people away from you by recognizing behaviors that are harmful.


I guess I just often feel on the receiving end of that judgement, so I'm probably biased.. though I try not to judge others as such.
There of course are some people I like more than others and some I'd fit better with than others, but I try my best not to look down on people whom I don't fit with.

Many different studies have shown that about 25% of men will never have children and the predominant reason is low social status; that they have too poor job (if any), too poor education and small social circles, and that honestly scares me.
My point is just that we ought to try to look past the status somebody has and give them a chance to show what they have to offer. A relationship is obviously a partnership where both have to pitch in to make things work and this includes financially as it can be hard to make ends meet.
I'm sorry if I went overboard in making that point.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

joinmartin said:


> 25% of men on the face of the planet? I really do wonder about studies like those. Obviously it's just a prediction. But it's a pretty flawed prediction when one considers that people can take action to change their circumstances, increase their social status etc.


Bit off topic, but will answer this since you asked.
It's studies at universities in Norway and Denmark (and I would assume it has been made in other countries as well), where they've cross-checked different databases and registers on people at age 40. This showed that about 25% of men and about 10% of women did not have children at 40 and by referencing those same people with other databases, they could see that the men that did not have children were also the worst educated, had the lowest income jobs and the poorest health, while for women it was the completely opposite picture.
This lead the researchers to conclude that it was predominantly low social status that made women 'deselect' these men as fathers of their children.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

joinmartin said:


> SNIP


I'm pretty sure there was an interview part as well, but I've only heard them sketch out their findings in news articles and some tv debates, so probably best to do some research on your own if you want the full details


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

A lot of people would love to work from home. You get to be in your pj's all day, and you earn money for it.

Life isn't always that easy. If it was, we would all work from home. Some of us actually need to go outside our house to earn a living. Very few people actually make money sitting in front of the computer all day.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

Of course I would. My boyfriend didn't have a job when I met him, and most of the other people who seem to like me don't have jobs either. I'm not exactly picky as far as jobs, education and experience goes.


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## Elixir (Jun 19, 2012)

I've tried to find a job this summer but I couldn't. I'm still searching. I know how hard it can be to find one so I'm not going to judge a person for being unemployed so long as he's doing something with his life and trying to change the situation.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

A female friend said it best in response to this topic: Men tend to think more short-term with regards to mate selection (as she said, "think with their penises" lol. But I don't necessarily think it's that simple! At least not for me). Women tend to think more long-term right from the beginning.

In the beginning stages, I'm more concerned about chemistry, whether I enjoy this person's company, whether I want to have sex with this person, etc. Whereas women tend to already be sizing you up overall at this stage. If she wants kids, she will ask herself, "will he be a good provider?" If she doesn't want kids, she'll want to know if you'll be able to pull your own weight when you cohabitate. Whether she can afford to maintain the lifestyle she wants while living with you. For whatever reason, women seem to care about ambitions. The female brain remains a mystery to me.

Once you start making money, you'll notice that the quality of your life will improve drastically. So that's something that you should be aiming for anyway. It's not just about the wimminz. There's lots of good stuff that comes with money.


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## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

phoenixwright said:


> Once you start making money, you'll notice that the quality of your life will improve drastically. So that's something that you should be aiming for anyway. It's not just about the wimminz. There's lots of good stuff that comes with money.


Not necessarily true in all cases... You may get some benefits but if you are working really long hours and hate your job or the people you work with, it will have negative effects as well. I'd say that statement is only true if you are working reasonable hours at a similar time to your partner and do not hate your job/people who work there.

I have found since I have been working more hours now, that people really drain me and my patience is wearing thin. Leaving me mentally exhausted when I get home so that I am not good for conversing with as I cannot think straight. If I was working this many hours long term, which would be the case if I get made permanent, then I think it would impact negatively on my relationship as the hours are odd and people piss me off / drain me.

But I liked the rest of your post


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## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

I suppose so :con


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## xTKsaucex (Jun 23, 2010)

Women - Gives Birth to Children (broody) - Looks for desirable partner to sustain - Finds financially capable man

Simples.


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## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

mysterioussoul said:


> i consistently look for work and i'm going to study to gain qualification to help me gain employment. being unemployed is the main reason for my depression. it makes me feel worthless and suicidal. i want to work but the job market is so competitive and if you don't have some kind of experience you're screwed. no one is willing to give you a chance.


I could have written every word of this. The only difference is that I did manage to find an employer last year that gave me a chance, but that only lasted two weeks before I quit (and tried to hang myself).

It goes without saying that that was not a pleasant work experience :|


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## orbero (Jul 20, 2012)

Well I'm sol.



Milco said:


> I don't believe "pure laziness" exists.
> Everybody I know or have talked to say that they would love to contribute and feel useful, but there can just be things (practical, physical or psychological) that prevent it.
> I don't think anybody wants to stay at home and never do anything - I don't think you can be so "lazy" that your life is suffering from it.
> 
> ...


Pure laziness does exist, I don't think I will ever work.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

orbero said:


> Pure laziness does exist, I don't think I will ever work.


If your hand is on the hot stove and you're getting serious burns, it's not laziness if you don't move your hand.
I guess in modern societies you don't necessarily starve or go homeless if you don't work and that removes some of the urgency for it and the 'pain' caused if you don't do it. But then again, as shown in this thread it makes people apparently undesirable, so that should be a motivation still, if you have people who depend on you, that's a motivation as well. And people just generally enjoy using their skills and feeling like they are contributing.
If those motivations don't do much for you and you don't have that desire to do something during your day (though that can be other things than work of course) that's more sign of a depression than anything.

There might be some cases where "laziness" is appropriate to use, but I'm having a hard time thinking of them.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

It totally depends to be honest. I mean, I wouldnt want her to be working a 40+ hour week cause it would be next to no time together, especially if there is distance between you (wouldnt be bad if she worked them hours once you had become really close and were nearly ready to move in together).

If she had never had a job or wasnt bothering to look then it would be a massive concern (especially for the age range I would be dating... 22-32). If she was trying to find a job but nothing was about or she got rejections then I would always date her.


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