# Kids or No Kids?



## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

Not sure which section to throw this thread into but just wanted to get peoples opinions on having children vs. not having children and which route you want to take in your life.

I realise I'm still very very young, but I have a pretty strong opinion on the subject of bringing children into the world and if it's our moral duty to have children. I personally feel that I never want children of my own, I just feel I'd want a girlfriend/wife for the rest of my life and enjoy life with just her and not have to worry about raising kids, keeping them healthy and so on. Some people may find this selfish, but I question these peoples motives for actually having children, I think alot of people have children just to fill something within their lives, and not for the sake of seeing a person develope and be the best they can be. (I realise that as you have children your reasons change, and you do want them to succeed and grow, but I'm talking about initial reasons for having kids).

I'd love to hear what everyone has to say on this topic, I feel at least in the western culture we are expected to have kids and sacrifice for them and all that, and I for one am looking to follow a different path through life. Of course as I am young I can't say with certainty I will maintain these ideas, but at least in this moment I feel strongly towards my views.


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## JEmerson (Mar 25, 2010)

I used to think I was on the fence, but I've realized I really want kids one day. I wish it were as simple as "find a wife, have kids" but I'm gay, so it's more complicated than that. I've started to become jealous of these couples having kids just for the simple fact that they can so easily. 

I think many people do have kids to fill something in their lives, and I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. For many people, they don't feel that their lives would be complete without children. I feel that way myself. But that's not separate from wanting the child to develop into a great person who is the best they can be. I imagine the people who are having kids to fill something in their lives plan on raising the child the best they can, it's not two separate concepts. 

I don't believe it's anyone's moral duty to have children though. If you don't want kids, there's nothing wrong with that. My aunt and uncle never had any kids, they just have their dogs and huge house. People should do what they feel is best for them. I personally hope I can raise a kid one day, even if it takes more effort than it would for the typical couple.


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## pyramidsong (Apr 17, 2005)

I have absolutely no desire to have children, and I don't really experience any pressure to do so. Frankly, on the the odd occasion that someone has told me my choice is "selfish" or that "I'll change my mind one day" I haven't been bothered by it, as I feel such comments are more about their narrow-mindedness than about there being anything wrong with my life choices.


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## ktbare (Sep 13, 2009)

A part of me wishes I never had children, although I love my children more than life itself and it pains me to even think this.


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## cakesniffer (Nov 11, 2003)

Still don't know if I want to have kids in the future, but definitely not now.

I'm kind of curious how people who choose not to bring kids into this world are "selfish." I see it as the complete opposite. I know too many people who bring kids into this world because they believe it's God's will, or they have to pass on their family name, or it's just what people are supposed to do... That's just silly.


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## Ysonesse (Dec 25, 2009)

I never wanted kids. I don't have kids. I will never have kids. Tada!


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

No kids, ever!


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

I've never had the desire to have children and still I don't want any.
I can't be 100% sure that I never will have children because you never know,but I'm happy with not having children.
The people that I've heard say that having children gives life meaning really have to reconsider their views because this is not the case for everyone.

My parents keep nagging me about 'when are we going to have grandchildren' or 'it would be nice to have grandchildren before we are to old', and I just look at my sister lol.


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## Adorkable (May 22, 2010)

I always felt that most people just want to have kids to relive their youth. If people claim people that don't want to have kids are selfish, they should realize there is no unselfish motive for having kids either, and in their case there is an odd man(or I should say kid) out.


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## LostPancake (Apr 8, 2009)

I would have to be psychologically healthy before I ever had kids. And at the rate I'm going, that is going to take a while. I would never want to pass on my problems to another generation.


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## Cleary (Nov 10, 2007)

I don't want kids.


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## dan14 (Sep 3, 2009)

no kids for me, I have enough trouble looking after myself let alone raising kids..


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

I just don't have any interest in kids. I don't hate them and I'm not actively repulsed by the thought of having them or anything, but I expect I'd get bored of them after a week. So obviously it wouldn't be smart to waste tens of thousands of dollars and 20 years of my life on a project that makes me go "meh"... and not being interested would presumably make me a bad parent too.


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## pyramidsong (Apr 17, 2005)

^ This.

I find kids boring and annoying. I much prefer animals, I have a strong maternal instinct towards animals but human babies? Meh.

I also think that those who breed because they think it will complete them or cure their loneliness are in for the same rude shock as those who enter into a relationship for those reasons.


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## Ambivert (Jan 16, 2010)

To be brutally honest, I'm too "damaged" to even think of raising children. I really am not in the right mental state of mind. 

I have paranoia, insecurity, anger issues. 

Yah sounds like "father of the month" in the making right there...not :roll


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Yes, I plan to have kids.
I am learning all the stuff around keeping a house together right now. I have learned so much responsibility in the last three years, it is unreal.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

No babies for me, much to my mother's dismay.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

I'm amazed at how many of the responses are for no children, I figured alot of people would be pro-life (heh). 

I also agree with the point about people thinking having a child gives life meaning.... If you don't think your life has meaning and you need a child to make it so, maybe you should check into using anti depressants instead.


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## Leary88 (Jun 6, 2010)

No children for me, ever. And not JUST because I probably won't be getting laid anytime soon. 

I actually think that I would experience a lot of bitterness towards my child if they had a better life than me. That may sound sick or disturbing, but it's true. I think that if I were to raise a boy, for example, and they grew up to be a social butterfly I would harbor some sort of misdirected jealousy towards them. 

It just holds no appeal to me anyway. I never want my life to be tied to another person like that. Romantic relationships would be great, but having an actual unbreakable obligation to something for the rest of your life scares the hell out of me.


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## MrWorry (Sep 5, 2009)

Although i like kids, i don't want them coming from my genes. 

I'd be to worried that they'd be messed up like me. Adopting would probably be more like it.


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

No kids for me either.

Although I heard you need to be having sex to have kids, so that rules me out anyway :roll


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

No way.

I'm 29 and still feel like a kid myself and I don't see that changing any time soon. I can't even financially take care of myself yet.

I also would not want to pass my flawed genes onto a child, not that I have a choice anyway considering I can't even get laid, but just sayin'. As far as I'm concerned, I'm doing my part to weed Socially flawed people out of the gene pool.

And ultimately, I just don't want the responsibility of raising a child.


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## El Sonador (Sep 25, 2009)

I want kids some day, I believe I can be a great father.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

I always used to say I'd never have kids...but now that I have one I'm so glad I do have her. I don't really want anymore kids though, just the one. I don't see how some people can have so many kids-- if I had more I'd feel like one was being left out or something, I would think it'd be hard to give equal attention to 2 or more kids... But I am just happy to have the one I've got


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## Your Crazy (Feb 17, 2009)

No thank you. I never saw the point of having kids. I look at them as a huge waste of time, space, money, and oxygen.


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## intrikate (Feb 22, 2010)

I would like to have kids one day...a partner and maybe 2 children, a proper family unit. Family is really important to me. 

Of course, I'd need to find a man that would put up with me first. I wouldn't want to bring up a child with no father, or one that was no good for the children.

My brother and his partner just hard twins. I would like what they have someday.


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## notyourstar (Jun 11, 2010)

I definitely want kids. Not to fill some void or to carry on my genes, I'd be fine with adoption, I just wants kids. I love kids, I babysat a lot in high school, and I know it's not the same as having your own, but it taught me a lot, and I think I'd be pretty good at it. I'd need to clear out some issues first, and probably have a husband who's more well-balanced than I am, but yeah, I want kids. I'd be a good mom.


Not for SEVERAL more years though.


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## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

I don't want kids right now but who knows how I'll feel in 5/10 years maybe I'll meet some great girl and have a great job and life and stuff, and maybe I'll want kids then. Not likely but its not outta the realm of possibility.


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## mooncake (Jan 29, 2008)

I really don't know. My feelings about having kids change a lot - on the one hand I feel there are already way too many people in the world so I shouldn't be contributing to the problem by reproducing myself. I'm also terrified at the thought of being so responsible for another person and I worry that I wouldn't be able to give my child what they deserve in life, because of my own problems. Due to having had a fairly bad upbringing, I fear that I won't know how to be a good parent, although I think I've learnt a lot about how _not_ to parent by my experiences and I'm very aware of the essential things I feel I missed out on during childhood, so I would try my hardest not to let the same happen to my own child.

On the other hand - probably now that I'm in a solid, happy relationship, I can see the appeal of raising a family together with someone. But whatever happens in the future, there's no way I would even consider having a child within the next 8-10 years at least, and certainly not until I was financially and emotionally stable and had also been in a relationship for at least 5+ more years. Being out with my boyfriend and seeing babies does sometimes make me feel sickeningly broody sometimes though, even though I in no way actually desire kids of my own any time soon. Damn hormones. :x


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

No kids, and my girlfriend doesn't want any either. I'm too ****ed up to be a father anyway.


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## so_so_shy (Sep 5, 2005)

I want to have kids when i am financially stable enough to do so.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

I want kids but ONLY with someone I really care about, and it needs to be planned.


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## Hadron92 (Apr 17, 2009)

I don't think I'd be a good parent hence I don't want kids. Though I also think it's got something to do with the fact that I detest having responsibilities.

My parents' reaction was telling me that "not wanting to have kids is unnatural". And for once in my life, I agree with them. All living things should aspire to spread their genes all over the place...But, well, screw this - since when have I ever acted "naturally"? I don't see Why I should make special exceptions on this issue.:roll


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## Your Crazy (Feb 17, 2009)

Hadron said:


> All living things should aspire to spread their genes all over the place.


Thank God everyone doesn't think like that. If so it would be a natural disaster of epic proportions. Just look at the Bush's...


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## badjoke (Jun 4, 2010)

I already have a kid, so I'm done.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

I would never, ever.


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## Georgina 22 (Jan 4, 2009)

1 or 2 kids one day, but not now.


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## Cyrus (Oct 25, 2009)

Have kids one day in the future of course .


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

When and if I learn to look after myself I would love to adopt.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

I like kids, but I don't want any of my own. It's probably a selfish thing--I like being able to cook what I want, do what I want, and go where I want. Maybe that will change one day, but right now, I don't see myself having children.


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## CeilingStarer (Dec 29, 2009)

Maybe centuries ago when bringing fresh blood in to the clan/tribe was important. I'd thoroughly enjoy teaching my kid to hunt, fight, survive etc.

Not in this day and age though. I don't see much future for the world, and I know that things are just going to get even more competitive for the next generation. 

I wouldn't be emotionally or financially fit for the task anyway right now.


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## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

I simply can't stand kids. Just being honest. The idea that I'll never be pressured to have them is almost enough to make me relieved that I'm not BF/husband material.


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## MagusAnima (Mar 4, 2010)

I don't think so. I wouldn't want to inflict my defective genes onto anyone, or make someone have to live in today's society either. 

I've thought about maybe adopting in the (very distant) future though - only if I have lots of money to spoil them though.


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## herb the dolphin (Mar 26, 2010)

I used to... but then I saw what people with kids have to go through, and I don't think I could do it or would want to.


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## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

Won't have children unless I'm making over 100k a year and in a stable marriage to a very orthodox boring wife.

Yes I want kids, my family name is important to me. I must replenish my family with a new generation of powerful sons (not that I don't value women, but they take husbands name). I'm the last of my name - my name must go on.


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## Wehttam (Nov 6, 2009)

I do want kids. I agree society as it is sucks, but by not having kids I won't fix anything. The only way to cause a reaction of change in a fester society is by taking some sort of action, I may not be able to influence the already rotten adult minds set in their habits but I can influence the future generation (my kids) into becoming the people I wish to see in the world.

Besides, kids can give you a motivation to force you out of our self involved lives only thinking about ourselves and our problems or fears, when given a responsibility such as another life we think less of ourselves and more of our newly found responsibility, such empathy surely can't be a bad quality to attain.


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## Akane (Jan 2, 2008)

No children ever. My husband had a vasectomy within months of us getting married. I completely fail to see the point or attraction of children. The world doesn't need more people, no one needs my bad genetics, babies are not cute in the least, and why would anyone want to deal with teenagers.... Plus I already have less money than I'd like and as many animals as I can care for.


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## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

I'd like two kids. Hopefully a boy and a girl, and when they move out I'll resume my independent lifestyle with, hopefully, a husband by my side.

That sounds like fun.


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## SilentLoner (Jan 30, 2006)

No kids. The world is disgustingly overpopulated as is and too many mindless people seem to reproduce only because its expected of them.

I may adopt or foster parent one day but its a strict "maybe."


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

My daughter went to her first voice lesson tonight. I sat in the waiting area and listened to her sing, and I nearly cried. The feeling was/is indescribable. It's not pride and it's not some vicarious experience. It's love, for sure, but I think it's more than that. My love or whatever I feel for my kids, which I don't think is a feeling that is unique to me, transcends my normal experience and is like nothing else I feel. 

The difference. Love is something I do. It's a verb. This feeling is a gift to me from a universe or someplace that doesn't seem to know me or care about me at all, or so I tend to believe. This feeling makes me re-think that pose, if only for a few moments, which is a sweet relief for a hard-core cynic like me.

My 2 cents.


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## jane (Jan 30, 2006)

Wehttam said:


> I do want kids. I agree society as it is sucks, but by not having kids I won't fix anything. The only way to cause a reaction of change in a fester society is by taking some sort of action, I may not be able to influence the already rotten adult minds set in their habits but I can influence the future generation (my kids) into becoming the people I wish to see in the world.
> 
> Besides, kids can give you a motivation to force you out of our self involved lives only thinking about ourselves and our problems or fears, when given a responsibility such as another life we think less of ourselves and more of our newly found responsibility, such empathy surely can't be a bad quality to attain.


I agree with these possible reasons for having kids, but I don't think you really need a specific reason.

I think enjoying the company of children is enough. My parents seem to like having me around, and if I ever have kids as awesome as me, I'd be pretty pleased.


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## james25 (Jan 1, 2010)

I don't like caring for kids that much, especially little ones. They're messy and expensive and demanding as hell.

But in the abstract, I think they're awesome and kind of magical. I'd love to have some of my own, who I could tell what to think and what to do and how to live. Just to see how they turn out, and to talk to, and to live with. I doubt I will, though, because women who are responsible enough to be worth doing something like that with are very selective.


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## theCARS1979 (Apr 26, 2010)

Im undecided , although id like to have two kids. Would someone want to have two kids with me. I'd like to meet someone some years younger then then me without
one or two kids already. Its ahrd tell whats goign to happen but 
I dont know if I'll meet that right girl to have them with in my lifetime. Im not sure if im lucky to meet anyone because it dont seem that way.


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## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

Absolutely, yes.

My trouble is fretting about passing on the predisposition for anxiety. But if I'm allowed to speak selfishly, yes kids will happen someday.


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

Absolutely not. I like kids and I think that they are absolutely adorable when they say cute things, but I have enough trouble taking care of myself at times.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

I would love to one day but I will see what life brings. Bringing up a child and watching them grow and learn would be an amazing experience.


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

Atticus said:


> My daughter went to her first voice lesson tonight. I sat in the waiting area and listened to her sing, and I nearly cried. The feeling was/is indescribable. It's not pride and it's not some vicarious experience. It's love, for sure, but I think it's more than that. My love or whatever I feel for my kids, which I don't think is a feeling that is unique to me, transcends my normal experience and is like nothing else I feel.
> 
> The difference. Love is something I do. It's a verb. This feeling is a gift to me from a universe or someplace that doesn't seem to know me or care about me at all, or so I tend to believe. This feeling makes me re-think that pose, if only for a few moments, which is a sweet relief for a hard-core cynic like me.
> 
> My 2 cents.


Well put.

My son is a pain in the *** lately, drives me insane at times, keeps me up at night worrying about him.

But, at the same time, I have never known any feeling as I feel for this guy and every moment of him driving me crazy is worth it. I would do anything for this guy, and I cannot even describe the feelings I have for him. As Atticus says, its love and yet even more. Its my lifeblood.


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## Null (Nov 6, 2003)

Kinda want to have them, but my genes just aren't good enough to pass on. I'm doing the world a favor by not reproducing. Since I can't attract a mate it's not like I have a choice in the matter anyhow.


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

I’ve always loved children but do I have moments when I regret having kids? Yes, I do...every time I hear of some pedophile or rapist...someone who hurts young children - I ask myself: why did I bring these precious things into this hateful world? So I respect your opinions on not having kids and I admire your ability to discern early on whether or not children would be a good addition to your lives. It’s not a decision to take lightly as you become the guardian and caretakers of other human beings...you are responsible in raising them and teaching them good values. 

I had a tough journey on my way to having kids. This thread inspired me to write about it. It was quite therapeutic for me today...so I'm glad I saw it. I posted it in my blog because it became too long to post here and I don't want to annoy those people who feel that having kids is absolutely wrong for them.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

sash said:


> I've always loved children but do I have moments when I regret having kids? Yes, I do...every time I hear of some pedophile or rapist...someone who hurts young children - I ask myself: why did I bring these precious things into this hateful world? So I respect your opinions on not having kids and I admire your ability to discern early on whether or not children would be a good addition to your lives. It's not a decision to take lightly as you become the guardian and caretakers of other human beings...you are responsible in raising them and teaching them good values.
> 
> I had a tough journey on my way to having kids. This thread inspired me to write about it. It was quite therapeutic for me today...so I'm glad I saw it. I posted it in my blog because it became too long to post here and I don't want to annoy those people who feel that having kids is absolutely wrong for them.


Thanks for posting it in your blog, I was actually hoping people would give long responses to this thread as I find the topic of having/not having kids to be an interesting one. It is definitely not a decision to be taken lightly, but it seems like many people in this world don't put enough decision and thought into having kids.


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## ChadsWick1234 (Oct 31, 2009)

BetaBoy90 said:


> Not sure which section to throw this thread into but just wanted to get peoples opinions on having children vs. not having children and which route you want to take in your life.
> 
> I realise I'm still very very young, but I have a pretty strong opinion on the subject of bringing children into the world and if it's our moral duty to have children. I personally feel that I never want children of my own, I just feel I'd want a girlfriend/wife for the rest of my life and enjoy life with just her and not have to worry about raising kids, keeping them healthy and so on. Some people may find this selfish, but I question these peoples motives for actually having children, I think alot of people have children just to fill something within their lives, and not for the sake of seeing a person develope and be the best they can be. (I realise that as you have children your reasons change, and you do want them to succeed and grow, but I'm talking about initial reasons for having kids).
> 
> I'd love to hear what everyone has to say on this topic, I feel at least in the western culture we are expected to have kids and sacrifice for them and all that, and I for one am looking to follow a different path through life. Of course as I am young I can't say with certainty I will maintain these ideas, but at least in this moment I feel strongly towards my views.


 I don't want kids mainly for my own personal reasons. I really struggled through out my life and had alot problems I don't want my child to go through this. I am also one of those people that kinda of have a negative view of the world sorry to say it but I do. Not to say if I had kids I wouldn't be a good father it just not something I want to do. My parents always say they want grandchildren I like why isn't one of me enough?


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

I don't want kids. I full recognize that I'm not a suitable parent. I have enough trouble just taking care of myself. No way could I take care of a kid and accept all the frustration they can cause. My tolerance for frustration is very low.


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## RayOfLight123 (Dec 4, 2009)

Can't stand children..I never want them


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## whiterabbit (Jan 20, 2006)

I've never had a desire to have children. I would be utterly terrified if I ever found myself in a state of pregnancy. That's not something I could deal with. If I ever feel the need to destroy a young child's life, I'll adopt.


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

BetaBoy90 said:


> Thanks for posting it in your blog, I was actually hoping people would give long responses to this thread as I find the topic of having/not having kids to be an interesting one. It is definitely not a decision to be taken lightly, but it seems like many people in this world don't put enough decision and thought into having kids.


Awww, thanks for saying that. It was great to get that off my chest. And thanks for the comment on my blog..so sweet of you to read it! I agree...whether you want kids or not...a lot of thought should be put into it. I hope the people in this thread who absolutely don't want any always take the appropriate precautions to protect themselves. My second kid was a surprise...I was only planning on having one at the time. But I'm still glad she came along. She's my little princess.


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## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)

There's nothing wrong with not having children. I don't get people that claim that it's "selfish" to not have children... I think that's just plain stupid, no offense. I don't know why people always think it's just "what you're supposed to do." .... and when it comes to getting your tubes tied and vasectomies, they always have requirements, like you have to have this many kids already and you have to be this old. I think that's stupid. If someone doesn't want to have kids, fix them up so they don't have anymore. That's one less mouth to feed. Or two or three. 

I have an almost 3 year old son and don't want anymore for sure and some people think I'm selfish for that. Wtf?


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## PickaxeMellie (Jan 22, 2010)

You know, I've never wanted kids. I've had a few boyfriends who have, and I was a stupid girl in love enough to contemplate giving them children, even at the cost of completely disregarding my own wishes. Even though it's a personal choice and people constantly ask me why I haven't had kids yet (especially now that I'm approaching thirty) as if I'm doing the world a great disservice by not procreating. Actually, I'm doing the world a huge service by not having kids. You would not like them, trust me.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

anymouse said:


> so true. well spoken as well. and true!


Thx friend! I see you're posting alot the past few days, are you gonna delete them you think?


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## LuxAeterna (Aug 13, 2010)

I've always wanted kids. I have four kids (though our first son passed away) and plan to have at least one more and then possibly adopt.


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## Misanthropic (Jun 25, 2010)

BetaBoy90 said:


> Not sure which section to throw this thread into but just wanted to get peoples opinions on having children vs. not having children and which route you want to take in your life.
> 
> I realise I'm still very very young, but I have a pretty strong opinion on the subject of bringing children into the world and if it's our moral duty to have children. I personally feel that I never want children of my own, I just feel I'd want a girlfriend/wife for the rest of my life and enjoy life with just her and not have to worry about raising kids, keeping them healthy and so on. Some people may find this selfish, but I question these peoples motives for actually having children, I think alot of people have children just to fill something within their lives, and not for the sake of seeing a person develope and be the best they can be. (I realise that as you have children your reasons change, and you do want them to succeed and grow, but I'm talking about initial reasons for having kids).
> 
> I'd love to hear what everyone has to say on this topic, I feel at least in the western culture we are expected to have kids and sacrifice for them and all that, and I for one am looking to follow a different path through life. Of course as I am young I can't say with certainty I will maintain these ideas, but at least in this moment I feel strongly towards my views.


I started a thread on this a while ago. I am so dogmatic about not wanting (biological) children, I am just so certain that it is the right thing to do (or rather not do). When I think about all of the stress I've experienced in my life (and I'm not being 'emo', I'm nothing special, I can think about my stress or anyone else's and come to the same conclusion), it seems so unnecessary to create a child who will suffer- to any extent- when they won't miss the pleasure that would have made their lives worth living or balanced out that suffering, if they were even fortunate enough to experience any, I have no idea what their lives might be like. Happiness is a good thing but it's not necessary since there's nothing wrong with being unconscious. What's morally necessary is to prevent/minimize suffering. I am so glad that I decided not to have children, it makes me feel like I'm making a difference.

Now, if science comes up with a cure for global warming, my children would be genetically engineered to be incapable of stress and anti-social behavior (if you think this is science fiction, google 'paradise engineering') and we develop a utopian world with no existing orphans who could benefit from whatever resources I would give to biological progeny, then I will have 10 damn children, lol.


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## jennlynne5 (Aug 6, 2010)

I definitely want children someday... but I'm also terrified. It's such a hefty responsibility and my husband and I will lose a lot of our freedom and time together. I worry I'll be a bad mom. I'm scared that I will become severely depressed, even though I know I will love them to death. I feel like I still need to make a lot of changes in myself before considering kids. Also, I want to experience so much more before being tied down. I'm just very conflicted... so that's why I want to wait a while.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

Misanthropic said:


> I started a thread on this a while ago. I am so dogmatic about not wanting (biological) children, I am just so certain that it is the right thing to do (or rather not do). When I think about all of the stress I've experienced in my life (and I'm not being 'emo', I'm nothing special, I can think about my stress or anyone else's and come to the same conclusion), it seems so unnecessary to create a child who will suffer- to any extent- when they won't miss the pleasure that would have made their lives worth living or balanced out that suffering, if they were even fortunate enough to experience any, I have no idea what their lives might be like. Happiness is a good thing but it's not necessary since there's nothing wrong with being unconscious. What's morally necessary is to prevent/minimize suffering. I am so glad that I decided not to have children, it makes me feel like I'm making a difference.
> 
> Now, if science comes up with a cure for global warming, my children would be genetically engineered to be incapable of stress and anti-social behavior (if you think this is science fiction, google 'paradise engineering') and we develop a utopian world with no existing orphans who could benefit from whatever resources I would give to biological progeny, then I will have 10 damn children, lol.


I agree man, thx for making a long response, this topic tends to be on my mind alot, well mostly overpopulation is on my mind, but this subject obviously coincides with overpopulation. I just think that not having children is a really good decision, it really isn't all that selfish, and in fact it is an effective way of doing your part in saving the environment, as silly as it may sound. I can't wait to not have children! (But, if I really want a child I'd look down the adoption route, I don't need little people looking like me anyway, I see enough of myself as it is)


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

jennlynne5 said:


> I definitely want children someday... but I'm also terrified. It's such a hefty responsibility and my husband and I will lose a lot of our freedom and time together. I worry I'll be a bad mom. I'm scared that I will become severely depressed, even though I know I will love them to death. I feel like I still need to make a lot of changes in myself before considering kids. Also, I want to experience so much more before being tied down. I'm just very conflicted... so that's why I want to wait a while.


The fact that you are worried and have all these anxieties towards having kids tells me you'd probably make a pretty good mom.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

Not sure if I will or not. In a lot of ways I still feel like a bit of a kid myself and I'm honestly not sure how I'd deal with all the responsibilities. I have my own selfish plans for the next 10, 15 years anyway so no chances of any commitment before then.


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## KittyGirl (May 14, 2010)

I love children, I was sure that I would be a mom someday but now I'm pretty sure I'll be on my own until I die.

Perhaps even without having a partner-- one day when I'm financially stable, I'll foster a child or adopt.
Probably not a baby in that case... but an older child or a teenager. They need help growing up too, you know? I would just like to be there for someone.


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## Hello22 (Feb 10, 2010)

I'm undecided, i mean of course i don't want any now, but even in the future, i'm still undecided. I don't have a maternal instinct that women are 'expected' to have, and i don't envy people who have children - i love my freedom way too much. 

Having children is a life changing step (in a good way), and yes if i'm in a better place in the future, i might consider it. But i'm just about able to fend for myself at the moment.


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## AK32 (Sep 2, 2010)

I would love to have kids,but in order to have kids you need a significant other, or a donor, & I have neither. So right now it's not gonna happen, but I don't wanna rule it out completly.


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