# Uni is the worst time of my life



## SecludedCanard (Feb 14, 2014)

When I was applying to uni, my mother has forced me to go to a London uni. I had to reject all the other good unis such as York and Lancaster. I'm now stuck at a horrible uni called QMUL.

First year - I went to all possible socials and went out of my way to make friends. Nothing. I was even left in a bar all alone in the Economics Society social. After that event, I decided that all my classmates were utter idiots. I wanted to leave by that point but my mother refused. What she doesn't realise is that my grades are bad (mainly low 2.2s) and they continue to be bad, while in school, I had good grades and good acquaintances.
I had a work placement abroad in my mother's work. Everyone there made an effort to get to know me. I don't understand why people at uni just don't do this.

Second year - I decided to try different society socials. Same thing. I was eventually blown off for everyone else's friends. They keep on saying they're "busy" but then I see them with their friends. This keeps happening. I cried once in a lecture. No-one cared.
In school, even the slightest tears and people comforted me and said that everything was going to be okay. I miss my snobbish classmates in primary school. They were useless friends but at least I could talk to them sometimes.

My mother told me that I don't need friends and only allies who will help me to climb up. But everyone else seems to be having fun. Also, I only recently realised that I am bisexual and not straight and I fear my mother will disown me, should I ever come out to her.

All the advice I got was to join societies - I did that. I made the effort but other people don't. I have no idea what to do


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## bluecrime (Jan 27, 2013)

Hey, it might feel ****, but just think about all the people who would love to be in your position right now. Queen Mary's is a really good uni. Moreover, your post just comes across as moaning. You can't have it all in life mate, focus on what you have.


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## SecludedCanard (Feb 14, 2014)

bluecrime said:


> Hey, it might feel ****, but just think about all the people who would love to be in your position right now. Queen Mary's is a really good uni. Moreover, your post just comes across as moaning. You can't have it all in life mate, focus on what you have.


I don't have a good degree or a good social life, while everyone else has both. They will all become investment bankers and continue to look down at me.

I have been told many times that Queen Mary is a good uni. It's not. The course is interesting, that's it. And it doesn't have the same employment prospects as the unis I rejected, all because I must stay in London.


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## slowlyimproving (Jan 2, 2014)

Don't worry about pleasing your mom. Just be true to who you are. Don't get hung up on social climbing and status. Just follow your interests and dreams.


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## bluecrime (Jan 27, 2013)

SecludedCanard said:


> I don't have a good degree or a good social life, while everyone else has both.


I don't have a degree or am I in any position to get into uni. I have poor A levels and GCSEs, topped with no social life. And there are others in the same or even worse situation. Just having a degree from anywhere already puts you ahead of most people. A 2:2 is not that bad of a degree 


SecludedCanard said:


> They will all become investment bankers and continue to look down at me.


Who cares? What do they know about you? 


SecludedCanard said:


> I have been told many times that Queen Mary is a good uni. It's not. The course is interesting, that's it. And it doesn't have the same employment prospects as the unis I rejected, all because I must stay in London.


Who says it does not have the same employment opportunities? Your employment opportunities are what you make of them. You could still go on to be an investment banker. Studding at a London uni is absolutely no disadvantage. Stop worrying!


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## SecludedCanard (Feb 14, 2014)

slowlyimproving said:


> Don't worry about pleasing your mom. Just be true to who you are. Don't get hung up on social climbing and status. Just follow your interests and dreams.


What my mother wants and what I want, in terms of a career, are the same. Go into IB, work there for 10-20 years and then train to become a teacher eventually. 

Only problem is that if I can't get anyone in uni to care about me, how will that fare in work? I'm worried that I will be blown off in work as well. And it doesn't help that uni is "the best time of anyone's life" so life would apparently become worse after uni.


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## SecludedCanard (Feb 14, 2014)

bluecrime said:


> I don't have a degree or am I in any position to get into uni. I have poor A levels and GCSEs, topped with no social life. And there are others in the same or even worse situation. Just having a degree from anywhere already puts you ahead of most people. A 2:2 is not that bad of a degree
> 
> I was told that getting a 2.2 makes me highly unlikely to get into IB.
> 
> ...


I can't get a job because I don't have experience. I'm stuck in that vicious circle and I want to get out of it.


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## bluecrime (Jan 27, 2013)

SecludedCanard said:


> I can't get a job because I don't have experience. I'm stuck in that vicious circle and I want to get out of it.


Well then, break it. Research work experience and slowly build up your confidence to apply. There's more than one way of impressing an employer.


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## SecludedCanard (Feb 14, 2014)

bluecrime said:


> Well then, break it. Research work experience and slowly build up your confidence to apply. There's more than one way of impressing an employer.


I'm going to contact my teachers from school. They always helped with work experience and volunteering opportunities.
I'm determined to break that cycle.


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## bluecrime (Jan 27, 2013)

SecludedCanard said:


> I'm going to contact my teachers from school. They always helped with work experience and volunteering opportunities.
> I'm determined to break that cycle.


That's really good mate! I wish you the best of luck. I know it's easier said than done, but cheer up and stop thinking about what others think of you  That's where I went wrong in life


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## starting over (Feb 14, 2014)

I go to the University of York. I'd say Queen Mary is roughly on a par, since they are both in the Russel Group. I can't say I love university either, though.

I don't think I would want to work in investment banking. You sit at a front of office desk making phone calls and staring at digits on a screen, then if you don't perform well enough they throw you out. It sounds like a big headache.


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## Bedouin (Aug 3, 2013)

Your mum knows nothing.


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## SecludedCanard (Feb 14, 2014)

starting over said:


> I go to the University of York. I'd say Queen Mary is roughly on a par, since they are both in the Russel Group. I can't say I love university either, though.
> 
> I don't think I would want to work in investment banking. You sit at a front of office desk making phone calls and staring at digits on a screen, then if you don't perform well enough they throw you out. It sounds like a big headache.





Bedouin said:


> Your mum knows nothing.


I just figured that if I moved in with flatmates, maybe I would have them as friends. But even if I did have flatmates, I wouldn't go out all that much either. If just watch TV with them in the evenings.

IB is a maths oriented job and I love maths.


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## starting over (Feb 14, 2014)

Investment banking involves very little maths. Quantitative analysts on the other hand do, and make a lot of money, but most have a Phd. You need to research the career more, it's also incredibly competitive and you would have no chance without a 1st. Sorry I'm just being brutally honest.


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## SecludedCanard (Feb 14, 2014)

starting over said:


> Investment banking involves very little maths. Quantitative analysts on the other hand do, and make a lot of money, but most have a Phd. You need to research the career more, it's also incredibly competitive and you would have no chance without a 1st. Sorry I'm just being brutally honest.


I don't think I would get a first. My latest test had tricks, left, right and centre.


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