# Skinny girl problems.



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

This is going to be a bit of a rant because frankly I'm pissed.

For the past year and a half, I've been eating the "healthiest" I have in my life. I subconsciously made this adjustment because everyone from friends to relatives to coworkers are all on diets because they're naturally fat and struggling with weight so they are hopping on the health food, low fat, vegan non dairy raw organic craze bandwagon which is fast becoming the norm in California and constantly preaching their BS diets to everyone who's willing to listen.

I've been eating like a squirrel. No fast food, no saturated fats, I cut back on dairy, no soda, no ANYTHING which had basically more than 5 ingredients in it. I congratulated myself for even accomplishing this because I'd never given so much as a second thought to what I was putting in my body before and I was HAPPY, healthy, and fit.

As a result if being constantly criticized for my diet by everyone around me and being highly influenced by others, I cut out a lot of stuff from my diet. I almost went into a type of food depression. This is coming from a person who has been thin her whole life.

I've lost a lot of my curves. My bra size has went down a cup. I've went from a size 4 to BARELY a size 2. None of my tiny garments even fit anymore. I feel like a f****ing clothes hanger. I've lost weight from my face which really made it look feminine. I'm moody 24/7. Anxiety had increased triplefold. Energy level has sank. I went from looking like a VS model to Kate Moss in her Calvin Klein WAIF years, and what's worse, what's even worse is I used to get hit on/complimented by people everywhere I went. Every corner I turned, whistles, turns, cat calls, the works. Now I only get hit on every other time I go out and it feels f***ing miserable.

I feel like a retard for even feeling the need to moderate my diet because I have good genes unlike most people I know who can't enjoy real food because if they splurge one day, they'll gain weight instantly. I feel like an idiot and want to go back to eating normal.

People with fast metabolism and who work out everyday NEED as much as we can get in our diets because we are constantly burning it off. I feel like sh*t.
/rant


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Too high; didn't read.


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## Perkins (Dec 14, 2010)




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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

I'm not sure what you're ranting about. If your main problem now is that you get to eat yummy food again to gain weight and look slightly better, I'd say that's awesome.


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## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

Gotta try the Teriyaki burger at Carl's Jr....

However it apparently gives you a rockin' body though.


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## guedz (Feb 6, 2014)

Whatever works for you... eat as you please but I suggest you refrain from discussing your diet with these people, or pointing out how fast your metabolism is (which they perceive as somehow bragging).


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## guedz (Feb 6, 2014)

crimeclub said:


> Gotta try the Teriyaki burger at Carl's Jr....
> 
> However it apparently gives you a rockin' body though.


chhhaaaaoooo!!!!!!


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## theCARS1979 (Apr 26, 2010)

calichick said:


> This is going to be a bit of a rant because frankly I'm pissed.
> 
> For the past year and a half, I've been eating the "healthiest" I have in my life. I subconsciously made this adjustment because everyone from friends to relatives to coworkers are all on diets because they're naturally fat and struggling with weight so they are hopping on the health food, low fat, vegan non dairy raw organic craze bandwagon which is fast becoming the norm in California and constantly preaching their BS diets to everyone who's willing to listen.
> 
> ...


Everythings fins but dont eat the fast food cause Its not real , such as mcdonalds , its not even real beef. Ice cream is fine so is the rest in moderation


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

What a terrible life.

What a cruel world.


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## SwrvnMrvin (May 26, 2014)

calichick said:


> and what's worse, what's even worse is I used to get hit on/complimented by people everywhere I went. Every corner I turned, whistles, turns, cat calls, the works. Now I only get hit on every other time I go out and it feels f***ing miserable.


Okay. Try to stay positive here, but this quote....Do you realize how many girls and women out there would absolutely love to be noticed even just once a month? Just to be noticed by someone they don't know to boost a little self esteem? Many females out there would die to be in your shoes in your current miserable state. Just think about that.

Eat to your heart's delight because it seems you have the metabolism to do so. Just be careful not to overdo it as it may cause health problems.

Btw In-N-Out is awesome.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Junk food is horrible for your body - don't eat tons of it in an attempt to gain weight. Try eating a lot of protein and drinking protein shakes like Ensure twice a day.


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

SwrvnMrvin said:


> Okay. Try to stay positive here, but this quote....Do you realize how many girls and women out there would absolutely love to be noticed even just once a month? Just to be noticed by someone they don't know to boost a little self esteem? Many females out there would die to be in your shoes in your current miserable state. Just think about that.


^:yes


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

calichick said:


> This is going to be a bit of a rant because frankly I'm pissed.
> 
> For the past year and a half, I've been eating the "healthiest" I have in my life. I subconsciously made this adjustment because everyone from friends to relatives to coworkers are all on diets because they're naturally fat and struggling with weight so they are hopping on the health food, low fat, vegan non dairy raw organic craze bandwagon which is fast becoming the norm in California and constantly preaching their BS diets to everyone who's willing to listen.
> 
> ...


Same thing happened to my sister in law. She started off looking decent but then went to an extremeist vegan along with all the other BS that you mentioned. She looks like a twig now, her face isnt femimine anymore, it looks all sunken and meth tweaker like, it is pretty bad.

You can eat delicious foods, just don't resort to fast food. If you want burgers, make your own. If you want a rack of ribs, bbq your own, blend your own milkshakes up, bake your own cookies that aren't loaded with toxic ****. This is especially important since you are in America where pretty much any toxic ingredient goes and the FDA allows everything and anything to be added into foods no matter how harmful it is.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

Okay? So just eat.


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## SupaDupaFly (Sep 1, 2011)

Just increase your calories.Get a calorie count app..Genes has nothing to do with it...And why the heck would you workout everyday? That's counterproductive. You have to let your body rest.


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## gunner21 (Aug 4, 2012)

Oh man, I also hate when I go from looking like Channing Tatum to Jesse Eisenberg when I go on a vegan diet. Such a cruel world, I tell you.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

failoutboy said:


> You aren't over 30 yet, are you calichick? Just wait until you see what happens to your metabolism...


Seriously. When your only market value deteriorates. What are you going to do then?


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

I know that feel. I used to be 110lbs, which looks pretty unhealthy on my frame. I had no curves at all except boobs and was too self-conscious to even wear shorts in the summer because my legs looked like sticks.

When I was trying to gain weight, I just tried to eat _constantly_ (even when I wasn't hungry) focused on carbs, and also did a bunch of squats every night. After a year or so I gained like 10lbs. 10lbs can be just what you need for a round bum and a bit of curves.


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## Brisby (Nov 17, 2013)

There are foods that are healthy and still high in calories, carbs, and fat.


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## HanSolo (Jul 5, 2013)

OP, why not eat healthy, as I do, but just add MORE calories. Losing boobs sounds bad.

You could eat your healthy food, and just more calories. And u can do that the fun/tasty way , like with chocolate bars, ice cream, etc.

Just add more calories thats all, if your base diet is good, than go for the junky foods if u please. And if u don't want the junky foods, eat natural foods that are higher in calories.

Add real olive oil to things, have an extra egg, eat a nice homemade style cookie, eat nuts..........

Its all about how many calories u EAT in a day vs how many u BURN in a day.

I hope you get your boobs back, in the meantime I'll keep an eye out for them


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## huh (Mar 19, 2007)

lolol...good to see SAS hasn't lost its entertainment factor.


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## JLupul (Mar 24, 2014)

It almost seems as if people create there own body issues because their so privileged. Get a grip

Also natural fat of oils is not gonna make you fat, eating tons of garbage carbs would though


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## CelestiaSun (May 22, 2014)

I know exactly how you feel, I was in your position before.
I used be a nice size, and would get hit on/complimented often. Then I decided to follow a super strict diet, and I ended up taking it too far & became anorexic. I felt terrible, I looked terrible and was absolutely miserable. It really sucked to once be pretty, and then look like total ****. So I obviously had to gain back the weight, but I didn't eat junk food & all that other ****. I remained a vegan & ate super healthy - no fast food, no dessert, etc. 
I understand that you want to gain weight & get your curves back.. but you should still mainly keep a healthy diet. All that fast food is pure **** & is gonna' catch up to you in a few years. You should be more worried about your health, rather than your looks. 
But do your thing, girlllllll. Good luck


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## Sourdog (Sep 13, 2011)

I'd say keep with the diet that you're doing now, but try to add more servings throughout your day. Also maybe try to find some healthy foods that contain high calories and fat like nuts and Avocados.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Best check your thin privilege.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

Apparently only fat people have legitimate issues with bodyweight and body image, that's what I've learned. It is socially unacceptable to insult someone for being overweight but it's completely fair game to insult someone for being underweight and be completely indifferent to whatever struggles they may be having. Right SAS?


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## purechaos (Dec 18, 2013)

The problem is societies focus on weight image and dieting rather than health, happiness, and moderation. 

There are two sides to this spectrum that both suck, are counter productive, and perpetuate a cycle of negative body images. You have of course the "lose weight now!" That's been around for decades. In the the real world however, especially on Facebook ou see things like "I love curves, no one wants to snuggle a stick." And its more socially acceptable to tell someone "you're too skinny" and not "you're too fat"....


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## MikeinNirvana (Dec 2, 2012)

You do need to find some balance back, healthy food, healthy carbs, proteins and fats can be awesome to replace 5 days a week and eat whatever you want 1 or 2 days( cheating days) If you were curvy before, you can be again by doing some squats and weight lifting but don't go too crazy on sugars.

Some people like curvies as other like it skinny, may be if you don't get too.
I wouldn't think you look any worse or better.
Men tend to fantasies with curvy women and nice hips and big boobs, but when it comes to reality we like as plain as it is.

The women I fell for are the most skinny or petite there is..
Why? I don't know, It's just natural.. You should be ok.
Although Extreme Vegans and Extreme Meat people are not correct in my opinion but we all different and we learn in different ways and times.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Update: I actually look better than I have in my entire life. I was just having a BDD moment a few weeks ago.

Besides, I am kind of enjoying the thinspiration/tall thing right now. Major inspiration from Liam Hemsworth's Mexican girlfriend Eiza Gonzalez:













































It kind of makes people look at you in an odd way like you're some type of aberration and God knows I love being looked at. I'm a few pounds heavier than that so I think I'm fine.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

Are you part Mexican, calichick?


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

If I was Miley Cyrus and looking at those photos I'd die a little inside. Hell, I'm dying a little inside looking at her and I didn't even **** the guy.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

I don't think she's particularly attractive, tbh.

Certainly no reason for you to be dying inside, Barette


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

TicklemeRingo said:


> Are you part Mexican, calichick?


No I'm not. But I look like it.

I could pass as anything from Turkish to Brazilian to Italian.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Barette said:


> If I was Miley Cyrus and looking at those photos I'd die a little inside. Hell, I'm dying a little inside looking at her and I didn't even **** the guy.


It's a known fact that he only boinked Miley to get famous. Theres plenty of super hot guys (I don't find him that attractive) who have slept with older famous women to gain their status and then dumped them upon arriving (Reynaldo Gianeccheni being one).









He's back on the straight path with the models. And thank God because he was wayyyy out of Miley's league.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

calichick said:


> No I'm not. But I look like it.
> 
> I could pass as anything from Turkish to Brazilian to Italian.


 I see. Mediterranean looking.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Barette said:


> If I was Miley Cyrus and looking at those photos I'd die a little inside.


Agreed.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

calichick said:


> Update: I actually look better than I have in my entire life. I was just having a BDD moment a few weeks ago.
> 
> Besides, I am kind of enjoying the thinspiration/tall thing right now. Major inspiration from Liam Hemsworth's Mexican girlfriend Eiza Gonzalez:


She's so thin but she still has nice boobs. How does she do it? How? I guess genetics and you have it or you don't, but honestly this always bothers me so much... like, it's so unfair. At my heaviest I have barely anything, and if I lose even a pound of weight my breasts are instantly tiny and deflated and pathetic. It's the first place I lose from and the last place I gain. It really bothers me. It's probably what I hate most about my body at the moment.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

Seriously, she's not _that _good-looking. There's really no need for people here to feel down about themselves in comparison to her.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

TicklemeRingo said:


> I see. Mediterranean looking.


More Latin than that though.

Let's just say I fit in more when I go to South America than I do in the states.

The term Mediterranean makes me want to go to sleep. (It's over, too cliché) Jersey Shore killed it for me :lol


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

TicklemeRingo said:


> Seriously, she's not _that _good-looking. There's really no need for people here to feel down about themselves in comparison to her.


That's your unpopular opinion - she's objectively attractive. Most people would find her very good-looking. Plus it's not that easy to stop being insecure just like that, obviously.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

lisbeth said:


> She's so thin but she still has nice boobs. How does she do it? How? I guess genetics and you have it or you don't, but honestly this always bothers me so much... like, it's so unfair. At my heaviest I have barely anything, and if I lose even a pound of weight my breasts are instantly tiny and deflated and pathetic. It's the first place I lose from and the last place I gain. It really bothers me. It's probably what I hate most about my body at the moment.


She's flat as a board. It's called a push up bra and chicken cutlets.

----

She has a nice symmetrical face. (When I said in my OP I lost a lot of the baby fat on my face, I just wasn't used to seeing my bone structure lol) And the hair is nice as well.

I think she looks nice on video. I love that jawline.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

calichick said:


> It's a known fact that he only boinked Miley to get famous. Theres plenty of super hot guys (I don't find him that attractive) who have slept with older famous women to gain their status and then dumped them upon arriving (Reynaldo Gianeccheni being one).
> 
> 
> 
> ...


IDK, I didn't follow any of their story or whatever, but I don't think he's out of her league at all. While he's incredibly attractive by normal standards, by Hollywood standards he's pretty standard-issue. Miley often looks very attractive and has a killer body of the kind I dream of tbh. Long-legged, slim and toned with a defined waist and curves at the bust and hips. Like, there's no way he didn't find her attractive.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

tbyrfan said:


> That's your unpopular opinion - she's objectively attractive. Most people would find her very good-looking. Plus it's not that easy to stop being insecure just like that, obviously.


My opinions are always awesome 

I believe the term is 'cookie-cutter", describing something so generic as to be unremarkable.

She's certainly not _bad_ looking, and yes, lot's of people would find her attractive. But there's nothing unique about her. She could easily be replaced by another generic-looking "hot blonde girl" and it would be very difficult to tell the difference.

It's like there is a casting agency somewhere in California that just churns out exact replicas of basically the same looking woman. :yawn


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

TicklemeRingo said:


> My opinions are always awesome
> 
> I believe the term is 'cookie-cutter", describing something so generic as to be unremarkable.
> 
> ...


And that's what most people like - that's my point. "Unique" is not attractive to the majority, but generic is. It's easy to see why people would feel bad about their appearance after looking at her.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

lisbeth said:


> IDK, I didn't follow any of their story or whatever, but I don't think he's out of her league at all. While he's incredibly attractive by normal standards, by Hollywood standards he's pretty standard-issue. Miley often looks very attractive and has a killer body of the kind I dream of tbh. Long-legged, slim and toned with a defined waist and curves at the bust and hips. Like, there's no way he didn't find her attractive.


AHhHhhHH my eyes, burning, remove pic, remove pic, thread overload!


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

I'd rather be generically attractive than generically unattractive tbh, but I'm an incredibly insecure girl so what can I say.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

^ Yup, any day of the week. If I were cookie-cutter pretty, I wouldn't have been bullied and I wouldn't hate the way I look so much.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

calichick said:


> She's flat as a board. It's called a push up bra and chicken cutlets.


Oh, fair enough. Honestly, though, so many women seem to have that "thin-but-curvy" body type. Lily Cole, for instance. Half of ASOS' models. It really bugs me that it's an aspect of my body that I have no control over through diet or exercise. ****ty genetics I guess. Box shape blues.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

tbyrfan said:


> That's your unpopular opinion - she's objectively attractive. Most people would find her very good-looking. Plus it's not that easy to stop being insecure just like that, obviously.


Saying she's not very good looking makes me feel bad, (when I didn't before lol) because I know she's more good looking than me lol. So it's like... If she's 'not that good looking' jeez, you know?


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Saying she's not very good looking makes me feel bad, (when I didn't before lol) because I know she's more good looking than me lol. So it's like... If she's 'not that good looking' jeez, you know?


Yeah. If people think she's unattractive, then pretty much everyone is ugly lol


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

lisbeth said:


> It really bugs me that it's an aspect of my body that I have no control over through diet or exercise.


I thought that too for a long while, as a skinny girl (like most skinny girls) I'm always working on the top half of my body.

Anyways, I've been on this upper body strength workout routine for the past 3 months (nothing too strenuous, weights, pulling, push-ups, etc) for 15 to 20 minutes a day and it has done wonders to define my chest and arms. (My arms have more weight, my chest looks firmer, my shoulders are more broad and less narrow now)

All you girls who are not working out your top half, you should be. Working out gives you more definition.

You don't want to be a skinny skeletor. Models work out everyday, no matter how skinny you are you need to work out.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

tbyrfan said:


> And that's what most people like - that's my point. "Unique" is not attractive to the majority, but generic is. It's easy to see why people would feel bad about their appearance after looking at her.


Generic is obviously attractive to the majority, otherwise it wouldn't feature so heavily in advertising/film/fashion etc... but it's not the _only_ thing that many people find attractive, nor is it necessarily the _most_ attractive thing to many people.

It's an easy assumption to make, and certainly one that I believed in the past. Look at it like this:

Let's say for example that everyone has roughly 10 "types" that they find physically attractive. Those types can vary wildly in appearance from person to person, depending on their personal tastes. _*But*_, everyone will have at least one or two types in common with everyone else.

These are the types we see in film, advertising and fashion.

If I was selling a product, and I was casting performers to appear in my advertisements, I would look at the market research and choose performers who look like one of those few common types, because I'd want my ad _to appeal to as many people as possible_. I'd be taking an unnecessary risk with my money if I chose other types.

Same goes for film casting. If I wanted as many people as possible to go and see the movie I had just invested/risked a lot of money on, I'm going to choose leading actors and actresses that have the features that the most number of people have as a common choice in their list of 10.

Now that doesn't mean that those types are the most attractive, or even that people would find them necessarily better looking than other of their 10 "preferred types".

That's the trap that is very easy for all of us to fall into - to look around at all the examples of those common physical types that we see in the media and assume that those are the _only_ types considered attractive, or that they are the _most_ attractive.

The mistake is to compare ourselves with those types and conclude: "Well I don't look like that, therefore I must be ugly (or at least uglier than her/him).

In my opinion she looks common. Neither bad looking, nor particularly spectacular. Just good looking in a kind of generic, unremarkable way.

I don't doubt that people feel bad about their appearance looking at her. I certainly did for similar reasons for most of my life.

But I'm merely putting forward the view that people who feel like that _*may*_ not necessarily be as bad looking to others as they assume.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

TicklemeRingo said:


> Generic is obviously attractive to the majority, otherwise it wouldn't feature so heavily in advertising/film etc... but it's not the _only_ thing that many people find attractive, nor is it necessarily the _most_ attractive thing to many people.
> 
> It's an easy assumption to make, and certainly one that I believed in the past. Look at it like this:
> 
> ...


Nah. Most people would consider that the most attractive, whether that's the media's fault or not. Symmetry, signs of fertility and health - they're all there. Sounds like you're trying to invalidate the feelings of people that feel insecure about their looks, to be honest.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

tbyrfan said:


> Sounds like you're trying to invalidate the feelings of people that feel insecure about their looks, to be honest.


Well that's the exact opposite of what I intended to do, and I think I made it pretty clear here:



> I don't doubt that people feel bad about their appearance looking at her. I certainly did for similar reasons for most of my life. But I'm merely putting forward the view that people who feel like that _*may*_ not necessarily be as bad looking to others as they assume.


So either I haven't been clear enough or you've misunderstood.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

TicklemeRingo said:


> Well that's the exact opposite of what I intended to do, and I think I made it pretty clear.
> 
> So either I haven't been clear enough or you've misunderstood.


You're being unclear. Anyway, saying that an objectively beautiful woman is "not that attractive" certainly isn't going to make anyone feel better about their appearance - you must not understand that.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

Well let me make it as obvious as possible.

I am not attempting to invalidate the insecurity people feel about their physical appearance. In fact I acknowledged it as legitimate a number of times in my previous few posts in this thread. For most of my life I have felt similar things about my appearance.

Anxiety is built upon assumptions. Unless we examine/challenge/test those assumptions, the anxiety will stay intact.

I'm putting forward a view which I hope might challenge the assumptions people have about attractiveness.

People here are saying _"she's so much better looking than me",_ I'm disagreeing (and it's crucial that you understand this next bit), I'm offering the view (which you don't have to agree with) that you all (Barette, Persephone, lisbeth and yourself) *might, only might *actually be more attractive to others than you assume/realise. Not that she isn't good looking, but that you all are better looking than you realise. In short: She's not as spectacular as you assume, and you're not as ugly as you assume.

That doesn't dismiss your self esteem issues at all. On the contrary it acknowledges the seriousness of them, but offers the suggestion that, like all anxiety problems - they are built on assumptions that may or may not be entirely accurate, and that challenging those assumptions might be beneficial.

I haven't said she is bad looking or unattractive, I'm saying she is not as far 'above' people here as they assume, *because they are better looking than they assume* - and I say that as someone who has seen most of you (yourself included).

Of course you'll counter that that is just my opinion, and can easily be dismissed. Fair enough. All I would say to that is (and there is no way of making this sound condescending, so apologies): I've lived longer than you, and I used to have exactly the same beliefs assumptions about physical attractiveness/beauty that people are displaying in this thread, (and they had similarly negative effects on my self-esteem) but my lived experience has told me that those assumptions weren't actually entirely accurate after all.

A lot of us are actually more attractive to the opposite sex than we realise.

Maybe you'll come to that conclusion yourselves one day too. I hope so. But maybe your experiences will be different. I'm merely putting forward what I have come to realise over the years.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Lol TMR, this is kind of one of those topics where just the mere fact that you're a guy will make you seem like an *** whatever you say (sad but true).


It's like a girl going in the muscle thread and saying "Do you even lift, bro?" :lol

You need to let skinny girls have their skinny girl problems


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

calichick said:


> Lol TMR, this is kind of one of those topics where just the mere fact that you're a guy will make you seem like an *** whatever you say (sad but true).
> 
> It's like a girl going in the muscle thread and saying "Do you even lift, bro?" :lol
> 
> You need to let skinny girls have their skinny girl problems


Yeah you're probably right :sigh

It's hard to say to anyone that ideas they have held for so long to be 100% accurate might not actually be, without sounding like a dick.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

TicklemeRingo said:


> People here are saying _"she's so much better looking than me",_ I'm disagreeing (and it's crucial that you understand this next bit), I'm offering the view (which you don't have to agree with) that you all (Barette, Persephone, lisbeth and yourself) *might, only might *actually be more attractive to others than you assume/realise. Not that she isn't good looking, but that you all are better looking than you realise. In short: She's not as spectacular as you assume, and you're not as ugly as you assume.
> 
> That doesn't dismiss your self esteem issues at all. On the contrary it acknowledges the seriousness of them, but offers the suggestion that, like all anxiety problems - they are built on assumptions that may or may not be entirely accurate, and that challenging those assumptions might be beneficial.
> 
> ...


LOLLLLLLLLLLLL, nope. Being called ugly by tons of guys constantly for a decade gives me all the information I need about my looks. But thanks for the pity lies anyway.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

A few areas straight men should never offer advice on unless the advice is warranted:

1) A woman's weight
2) A woman's hair
3) A woman's make-up
4) A woman's fashion sense

Female business.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Before getting so jealous: Google "Eiza Gonzalez before and after"  Looks like she went to South Korea and got at least a chin and a nose job.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

Makes me feel worse personally since I've had two surgeries and am still unattractive, whereas her two surgeries made her gorgeous... But I think I should just avoid this thread haha


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

I don't know if she's had plastic surgery but age does mature your facial structure.

I mean, I've come light years, LIGHT years from 5 years ago.

Makeup, diet and age can really make a huge difference.

Megan fox case in point. People grow up.

Baby fat eventually drops off. People look different when they're kids.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

TicklemeRingo said:


> Yeah you're probably right :sigh
> 
> It's hard to say to anyone that ideas they have held for so long to be 100% accurate might not actually be, without sounding like a dick.


No I see what you're getting at and do agree, however you have to admit it's easier to be part of that group of people who most people find attractive. Otherwise it can be like varying degrees (depending on exactly how many people find you physically attractive) of searching for needles in haystacks when it comes to finding a compatible partner.. I'm not saying people who are conventionally attractive don't have other problems either like mental illness, or maybe their personality is just that bad that everyone is put off, but it's one less obstacle.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

tbyrfan said:


> But thanks for the pity lies anyway.


You're free to disagree with what I've posted, but don't accuse me of lying.

For anyone who wants to overcome any type of anxiety or insecurity, the most important thing to learn, in my experience, is this:

All the things (ideas, assumptions, opinions) you currently hold to be 100% correct, *might not be.*

That is the key to overcoming anxiety. Treating your own assumptions with scepticism.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

tbyrfan said:


> LOLLLLLLLLLLLL, nope. Being called ugly by tons of guys constantly for a decade gives me all the information I need about my looks. But thanks for the pity lies anyway.


You have a longterm boyfriend. Doesn't the fact that someone is attracted to you show you that you're attractive?


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

Persephone The Dread said:


> No I see what you're getting at and do agree, however *you have to admit it's easier to be part of that group of people who most people find attractive*. Otherwise it can be like varying degrees of searching for needles in haystacks when it comes to finding a compatible partner.. I'm not saying people who are conventionally attractive don't have other problems either like mental illness, or maybe their personality is just that bad that everyone is put off, but it's one less obstacle.


Oh of course. I agree with that.

I just think it's worth remembering that low-self esteem can cause us to come to conclusions about ourselves and others which might not be entirely accurate.

Add to that the difficulty of ever truly understanding what the other gender finds attractive about us, plus the constant bombardment of only a narrow definition of beauty in the media, and it's easy to come to the conclusion there is a much narrower definition of beauty/attractiveness then there actually is.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Rudy Coia is my favorite transformation.

That guy went from looking like a f***ing bean stalk to a Greek God. What a perfect example of change.










/salivating

Before:


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

failoutboy said:


>


Imo the false eyelashes and better makeup in the second picture make a bigger difference than the surgery. Obviously her nose and chin are differently shaped but imo one isn't better than the other. She still looks good in the before pic, just different.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

I've lost count of the amount of times I've seen a woman (or guy for that matter) who I think is attractive, who also is convinced that she/he is unattractive to others.

It's all very well to say "_Well that's just your lone opinion/you must be into freaks, Ringo" _but my lived experience has taught me that actually it's not just me who thinks that, it's many, many people.

Here's an experiment for people here: Think back to all the people you have found somewhat attractive in your life, from earliest memories until now.

Are they all the same? Is there a variety of different features from person to person? 
Of course, you would have found some more and less attractive than others, but are they all model/actor looking? Could they all grace the pages of fashion magazines?


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## moloko (May 1, 2013)

TicklemeRingo said:


> All the things (ideas, assumptions, opinions) you currently hold to be 100% correct, *might not be.*
> 
> That is the key to overcoming anxiety. Treating your own assumptions with scepticism.


Unless there's actual proof of that, it is very hard to start believing that. Even if a person wants to believe, it's very hard to unless they're shown otherwise.


TicklemeRingo said:


> I've lost count of the amount of times I've seen a woman (or guy for that matter) who I think is attractive, who also is convinced that she/he is unattractive to others.


Yeah, there's lots of that in this forum.


> "_Well that's just your lone opinion/you must be into freaks, Ringo"_


lol


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

moloko said:


> Unless there's actual proof of that, it is very hard to start believing that. Even if a person wants to believe, it's very hard to unless they're shown otherwise.


Oh absolutely, I understand that. That's why things like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy exist, to challenge assumptions and introduce new evidence that we wouldn't otherwise see.

There's a lot of good looking people with Body Dysmorphic Disorder, for example


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

TicklemeRingo said:


> Oh absolutely, I understand that. That's why things like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy exist, to challenge assumptions and introduce new evidence that we wouldn't otherwise see.
> 
> There's a lot of good looking people with Body Dimorphic Disorder, for example


On that note, I start CBT this coming week! I'm so excited.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

lisbeth said:


> On that note, I start CBT this coming week! I'm so excited.


Congrats lisbeth! :yay good luck.

As I said, it's good to go in with the attitude: "Everything I hold to be true might not be entirely accurate"


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Lol at body "dimorphic"

It's dysmorphic.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

^
Last night I think I dreamed about you finally showing your face on SAS. :lol

I spend way too much time on this site.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

calichick said:


> Lol at body "dimorphic"
> 
> It's dysmorphic.


To be honest calichick, sometimes I just absent mindedly trust the spell checker to get rid of the red line, without checking that it's changed it to the correct word


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

mezzoforte said:


> ^
> Last night I think I dreamed about you finally showing your face on SAS. :lol
> 
> I spend way too much time on this site.


I think I had a dream about someone a few weeks back too.

Don't remember who though.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

TicklemeRingo said:


> You're free to disagree with what I've posted, but don't accuse me of lying.
> 
> For anyone who wants to overcome any type of anxiety or insecurity, the most important thing to learn, in my experience, is this:
> 
> ...


Considering years of external proof that i'm ugly, I don't believe you for a second. I know my "assumptions" are true, so the cases of others in this thread don't apply to me.



lisbeth said:


> You have a longterm boyfriend. Doesn't the fact that someone is attracted to you show you that you're attractive?


Why would it? Those are the tastes of one person. Being picked on for so many years has made it impossible to change how I think of my looks. In this case, majority rules. The good thing is that I don't think about it nearly as much because he is one of the only people (the other being my childhood best friend) who knows how to deal with my issues the right way.


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## moloko (May 1, 2013)

tbyrfan said:


> Why would it? Those are the tastes of one person.


Did you ever tell him that?


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

moloko said:


> Did you ever tell him that?


Of course, he knows I have issues with my looks that are hard to get over.


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## moloko (May 1, 2013)

How does he feel about it, if you don't mind me asking? It feels to me you're being dismissive of him. I don't want to offend, just talking.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

calichick said:


> Rudy Coia is my favorite transformation.
> 
> That guy went from looking like a f***ing bean stalk to a Greek God. What a perfect example of change.


Nice steroids.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

moloko said:


> How does he feel about it, if you don't mind me asking? It feels to me you're being dismissive of him. I don't want to offend, just talking.


When someone has issues with some aspect of themselves, they often dismiss the opinions of people who disagree with what they're used to hearing. I'm used to being called ugly, so when my friends/family/boyfriend say different things, i'm not going to magically become confident in myself and think i'm the hottest thing to walk the planet. I don't think they're lying, but I don't believe I am attractive myself, if that makes any sense.


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## moloko (May 1, 2013)

I know well how it is to be told something and not believing it. It's just that with friends and family physical attraction doesn't play a role in your relationship with them, so they could be lying. With your boyfriend, it does a lot. So you know you're not that ugly, if you were he probably would have chosen someone else. 
It's like I was saying to Ringo, unless we are shown proof that what we think of ourselves is not that bad we can't change our minds. And you have that proof, so it's strange to me that you still think you're so ugly. I'm not trying to change your mind, by the way. (you didn't answer my question though)

edit: Your boyfriend's opinion of you is not just one person's opinion. It's the most important opinion, the most important person.

edit 2: Sorry calichick for taking over your thread.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

moloko said:


> I know well how it is to be told something and not believing it. It's just that with friends and family physical attraction doesn't play a role in your relationship with them, so they could be lying. With your boyfriend, it does a lot. So you know you're not that ugly, if you were he probably would have chosen someone else.
> It's like I was saying to Ringo, unless we are shown proof that what we think of ourselves is not that bad we can't change our minds. And you have that proof, so it's strange to me that you still think you're so ugly. I'm not trying to change your mind, by the way. (you didn't answer my question though)


Obviously he and everyone else would prefer for me to not hate my looks. I have much more proof that i'm ugly, so that's how I see myself. And again, it's not possible for any one person to magically reverse a decade of bullying. It's not as easy to completely change how you see yourself as people on this forum seem to think (presumably because they haven't gone through anything nearly as bad and have no idea what it's like). Most people here think appearance issues are oh-so-easy to get over, and it's extremely patronizing and obnoxious.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

arnie said:


> Nice steroids.


False. He's the body building champ of France and 100% natural.
It took him 10 years to get that way, his transformation is on youtube.


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## moloko (May 1, 2013)

tbyrfan said:


> Obviously he and everyone else would prefer for me to not hate my looks. I have much more proof that i'm ugly, so that's how I see myself. And again, it's not possible for any one person to magically reverse a decade of bullying. It's not as easy to completely change how you see yourself as people on this forum seem to think (presumably because they haven't gone through anything nearly as bad and have no idea what it's like). Most people here think appearance issues are oh-so-easy to get over, and it's extremely patronizing and obnoxious.


If one of those 5 people were a girlfriend that loved me and was attracted to me, the opinion of myself would definitely improve. So much that the opinion of those other 500 would stop mattering so much to me. But that's me, and that's how I think I'd feel. Can't really say with certainty. Psychological abuse is ****ed up though, so I hope your self-image will improve with time.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

moloko said:


> If one of that 5 people were a girlfriend that loved me and was attracted to me, the opinion of myself would definitely improve. So much that the opinion of those other 500 would stop mattering so much to me. But that's me, and that's how I think I'd feel. Can't really say with certainty. Psychological abuse is ****ed up though, so I hope your self-image will improve with time.


Of course he has helped my self-image improve. It hasn't flip-flopped to the point where I think i'm attractive, though, because (as I said) it's not that easy. Being in a relationship doesn't magically solve all of your problems, but it does help to have that person as a source of support.


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## moloko (May 1, 2013)

tbyrfan said:


> Being in a relationship doesn't magically solve all of your problems, but it does help to have that person as a source of support.


I didn't say that...


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

moloko said:


> I didn't say that...


It came across that way a little bit. A lot of people on this forum think that way, which is understandable.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

I need to eat always.


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## MindOverMood (Dec 12, 2009)

mezzoforte said:


> ^
> Last night I think I dreamed about you finally showing your face on SAS. :lol


Keep dreaming because that will never happen


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

MindOverMood said:


> Keep dreaming because that will never happen


Ah don't fret, there's a calichick out there for each one of you :squeeze

I just find it funny that I've been a member here for 4 years (and 4 years too long) and everyone thinks I'm a big fat troll, when I'm really everything I make myself out to be if not more.

It's like one big colossal joke. I'm on the floor laughing half of the time. :lol


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## KelsKels (Oct 4, 2011)

This thread makes me really want to buy bra inserts... or keep saving up for a surgery. You can't get silicone until you're 22 though :/ I keep holding out that maybe one day I'll own a pair of boobs.. but its absolutely impossible with my natural body shape.

Ugh this thread is so depressing.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

KelsKels said:


> This thread makes me really want to buy bra inserts... or keep saving up for a surgery. You can't get silicone until you're 22 though :/ I keep holding out that maybe one day I'll own a pair of boobs.. but its absolutely impossible with my natural body shape.
> 
> Ugh this thread is so depressing.


What's so depressing?

Eiza Gonzalez? She's flat as a board. Most rail thin women will always have smaller bust sizes, I'd suggest you do upper strength workouts, shop at Victoria's Secret and buy tighter clothes to accentuate your curves


















This vid by Jenna Marbles is pretty funny. I've been doing these things since I was 13 :teeth






I'm feeling thinspiration right now...it's growing on me the more I adapt to change. I like how most women can never be that thin.

Thin is IN, ladies.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

KelsKels said:


> This thread makes me really want to buy bra inserts... or keep saving up for a surgery. You can't get silicone until you're 22 though :/ I keep holding out that maybe one day I'll own a pair of boobs.. but its absolutely impossible with my natural body shape.
> 
> Ugh this thread is so depressing.


Why do you need boobs when you have dat ***? 8)
:lol Seriously though.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

It's all about the face and the hair anyways.


Everyone knows that. Skinny girls usually have prettier faces because their features are more accentuated. 

Please don't get breast implants :no

I have a really pretty friend who has suffered from higher body fat content % her entire life and while she has a larger chest, her face is 'rounder' than normal (double chin and all). She's super pretty but due to genetics, she's never been able to achieve low body fat so you can't see her cheekbones or jawline.


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