# Very little to say in conversations



## Night Fury (Jan 5, 2011)

When I read of other's experience with SA, I get the impression they would like to socialize and talk more, but the anxiety prevents them, so they keep their words bottled up inside. They don't seem to lack in thoughts or opinions, only the ability to express them.

My situation seems a little different. When it comes to any form of socializing, I just don't have very much to say in the first place. When I'm in a conversation (almost always initiated by the other party), most of my replies are one word or very short sentences. It almost as though there's no depth to my thoughts; I can't elaborate on anything.

The fact that I have so little to say seems to be what leads to my SA, rather than the SA preventing me from being social. I'm always aware of the fact that I have very little to contribute to conversations.

It's not limited to face to face communication. For instance, I spent over half an hour just writing this post, and that is actually fast by my standards. I'm always in awe of people who can write lengthy responses with seemingly small effort. Just figuring out what to say takes me ages.


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## ShyViolet (Nov 11, 2003)

I'm the same way. Even when I want to converse I can't think of things to say. My responses to things don't seem to flow naturally like other people's. I often respond with sounds like 'mmmm' just because I have no idea what to say. I feel unintelligent. Everyone around me seems so well-spoken and it depresses me that I can't be like that.


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## Night Fury (Jan 5, 2011)

I'm glad that I'm not alone, but sorry to hear that you suffer the same fate. Perhaps this is more common than I first thought.

Do you have any other diagnoses aside from SA that might explain this? Could it be somehow related to SA? 

I am not officially diagnosed with anything, and no one takes me seriously when I suggest there is anything wrong with me.


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## 390 (Jul 29, 2010)

I'm under 30 (sorry) but I have exactly the same problem, and can't find too many people that I can relate to in that respect. To the OP and ShyViolet, how long have you been like that?

They say that your intelligence peaks in your early 20's, I'd hate to think what I'll be like when I turn 30...


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## Night Fury (Jan 5, 2011)

I can't remember ever not being this way, since I was a small child.

I've had friends throughout my life, but being around them hasn't helped. Nor has posting on message boards (been doing that for 11 years now). I've even tried writing stories, but I normally run out of ideas after a few paragraphs.


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## Fenren (Sep 20, 2009)

I can relate that I don't have much to contribute to any social interactions. But I also keep words bottled up inside from feeling too anxious to say anything. It makes me feel really bad dwelling on it later, but I rarely have the chances of these kind of interactions now. 

I'm actually dreading it when I finally get a new job and how I come across to my work colleagues. I'm thinking I'll have to put on more of an act to be accepted next time. Never mind going on dates ect, I haven't the guts to even try right now.


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## 390 (Jul 29, 2010)

Night Fury said:


> I can't remember ever not being this way, since I was a small child.
> 
> I've had friends throughout my life, but being around them hasn't helped. Nor has posting on message boards (been doing that for 11 years now). I've even tried writing stories, but I normally run out of ideas after a few paragraphs.


I think in my case, it could at least be in part due to depression and my neverending social and mental deprivation. I don't remember being this way before the age of 15, which was about the time I began to slip into a depression. I also noticed a change after I spent a month off travelling last year. I'd become a lot more talkative, regardless of whether or not my trip was the subject of conversation. My sister noticed the change too. But within a couple of weeks I slipped back into my old routine and once again lost most of the conversational ability I'd gained over the trip.

As for writing stories, I would have been good at that as a 13 year old. Now, I consider you lucky to even be able to churn out a couple of paragraphs.


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## Kon (Oct 21, 2010)

Night Fury said:


> My situation seems a little different. When it comes to any form of socializing, I just don't have very much to say in the first place. When I'm in a conversation (almost always initiated by the other party), most of my replies are one word or very short sentences. It almost as though there's no depth to my thoughts; I can't elaborate on anything.


Do any of these apply?
Is it because you're not interested in conversations so it's hard to get motivated to participate, especially when you don't "hear" them even though you try listening? Or if you are "listening"/comprehending them, you feel the issue isn't interesting enough to respond to with a long answer since the topic is relatively uninteresting to you?
Is it because you need to take more time to understand/interpret exactly what the other person is trying to say, gather your thoughts about the topic, weigh all the possibilities and think deeply before responding? And when you do respond, does that transfer of thought to verbal or written communication seem to take a lot longer than most even though your idea of what you want to say is there already? And all that effort seems kinda pointless/tiring.


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## AK32 (Sep 2, 2010)

I'm the exact same way, I can have the perfect conversation with people in my head but the second I actually talk to the person I clam up & have nothing to contribute it's really frustrating, I just wish I could be normal.


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## Night Fury (Jan 5, 2011)

Kon said:


> Do any of these apply?
> 
> Is it because you're not interested in conversations so it's hard to get motivated to participate, especially when you don't "hear" them even though you try listening? Or if you are "listening"/comprehending them, you feel the issue isn't interesting enough to respond to with a long answer since the topic is relatively uninteresting to you?
> Is it because you need to take more time to understand/interpret exactly what the other person is trying to say, gather your thoughts about the topic, weigh all the possibilities and think deeply before responding? And when you do respond, does that transfer of thought to verbal or written communication seem to take a lot longer than most even though your idea of what you want to say is there already? And all that effort seems kinda pointless/tiring.


It's the second one, except I don't have any difficulty comprehending. I guess the first would apply in some situations as well. If a topic is uninteresting, I respond even less.

All in all, the second is a very good explanation.


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## Conquistador954 (May 15, 2011)

My difficulty is that i feel like i've been living all secluded my whole life and have very little experience in anything and therefore i never have much to contribute to conversation, and even the experience i do have the average person has 10x more.


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## demureCat (Jun 17, 2010)

I can relate to what the OP wrote, not sure if it is for the same reasons.

For me the root cause it still anxiety. That my mind is blank or my answers short, to me, is an effort to get out of the stressful situation as soon as possible. Telling myself I had little to say, I think, is a way of comforting myself.

I can say I take no pleasure in holding a persons attention or getting a story out. But I do like to provide information and jump at the chance to be helpful.

The times I can recall being conversational I know I was relaxed (or drunk) so things just came out of my mouth. In either case I often regret what I said even if there were no bad consequences. Its like I've been conditioned to hate the open expression of my thoughts.


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

Yeah it's the same for me, i just have no clue what to talk about. Even when i'm with my parents whom i should be comfortable with i have no clue what to say.

I used to get comments like ''why are you so quiet?'' all the time and all i could say was ''i have nothing to say''


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

Conquistador954 said:


> My difficulty is that i feel like i've been living all secluded my whole life and have very little experience in anything and therefore i never have much to contribute to conversation, and even the experience i do have the average person has 10x more.


I know how you feel. Most people talk about the concert, party, show they went to and i feel pretty left out although i have been to a few conuntries. I just don't feel i have anything to contribute.


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## Matt J (Oct 19, 2006)

I go through stages, especially online, when I try to put myself out there by posting something, but you know, a lack of responses tends to put you off making the effort after a while, so I go back into my shell. I am conscious that if you want to maintain genuine friendships you have to put the effort in, just seems like that effort can be ignored an awful lot, not maliciously, people are just tired, overwhelmed, jaded...uninterested.


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## iamwhatiam (Mar 23, 2011)

i feel the exact same way, the lack of things to say causes the SA not the other way around.


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## Ambient (Aug 16, 2011)

I'm constantly afraid people will find me boring for this reason. I am not really sure if SA causes it, or it is one of the causes of my SA.

My inner monologue seems to get turned off when I am trying to converse with someone. I don't know if I am self-editing or my mind truly is blank. I'm a pretty smart guy, but it seems that the anxiety impairs my thinking.

(A perfect example is trying to make change at a cashier; my ability to do simple arithmetic in front of a cashier and a line of customers is horrendous. As a result, even though I have a pocket full of change, I will never use it.)

If I am talking to someone who is even shyer than I am, I tend to do better. I push myself to take the lead in the conversation by asking questions. But I still worry that I am boring, or prying into their personal life.

One of the strangest things is when I am occupied with something else, my brain on auto-pilot does a far better job than I usually could. I was recently working on a tough problem at work and was replying to a text on my phone while I was on the elevator. I found myself responding to them and asking my own questions without hesitation. I was so focused and worried about this other problem, that my regular SA was overridden.


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## alone33 (Oct 3, 2009)

You seem nice. interesting thread. i'm just takin a guess. i've had CBT/ social skills therapy. Have you? Auuh, i really do think you seem to have depths to your thoughts  yeah, it's taking me like a year to write, which i do not mind. For instance when you write that ( I'm always in awe of people..) I dunnno maybe it's an all or nothing statement..? Sorry, if im being too critical ..You sound like YOU have a lot of potential . Good luck


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## Night Fury (Jan 5, 2011)

Thanks for all the responses.

Conquistador954: I wish I could pin it on lack of experience, but I feel that I've spent enough time around others that I should have developed these skills by now.

demureCat: I don't enjoy the idea of telling stories either, but just like you I would like to contribute more to discussions. I often have useful information but I seem to remember it too late, or I don't know how to explain it properly in the first place.

Getting drunk doesn't seem to make a difference, aside from slightly lessening the anxiety.

gaz: I know what you mean. I used to get asked "why are you so quiet" all the time, as if it's somehow wrong to not be talking constantly.

Matt J: I suppose there are times when I am more social and other times when I withdraw, but overall there doesn't seem to be much variation. Even posting online seems like a colossal effort on the worst days. Socializing just seems like a chore and the more I do the more stressed I feel.

Ambient: Self-editing is an interesting theory. Occasionally I do blank out. I also tend to lack strong opinions or beliefs, so it may be easier for me to remain silent than to argue in favour of a viewpoint.

alone33: Thanks for the support. Yeah, maybe I do have depth to my thoughts but it just takes me longer to "find" them. It's like my thoughts are jumbled and disorganized and I have to put them together like a puzzle. I'm not bad at writing and grammar but only if I spend a lot of time on it.


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## AM1432 (Aug 27, 2011)

"My situation seems a little different. When it comes to any form of socializing, I just don't have very much to say in the first place. When I'm in a conversation (almost always initiated by the other party), most of my replies are one word or very short sentences. It almost as though there's no depth to my thoughts; I can't elaborate on anything."

I feel the SAME exact way, your post could have been written by me. Here is an example that had me upset a few days ago. I took my daughter to open house at school and she met her friend there and her friends parents were there, the two girls said they wanted to check something out and left me, as they walked away and LEFT me with my daughter's friends parents I PANICKED inside! So the mother talked to me and I just stood there and nodded and SWEAT! I had no comments on what she had to say, then the mother left me alone with her husband and he started talking and I just stood there smiling, I then excused myself to get my daughter, I must have seemed so rude


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

It just takes practice.


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## Octavian (Nov 28, 2009)

VanDamMan said:


> It just takes practice.


Who is willing to "practice" with someone who has nothing to say?
My Co-workers are loosing interest. 
I'm also trying to meet new people, but they are getting bored and it endss after the first meetup.


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

Octavian said:


> Who is willing to "practice" with someone who has nothing to say?
> My Co-workers are loosing interest.
> I'm also trying to meet new people, but they are getting bored and it endss after the first meetup.


Part of practicing is burning through some people.

You have to break a few eggs if you want to make an omelet.


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## barczyl (May 10, 2011)

Posted this in another thread.

Maybe this can help.

http://askmen.com//video/dating/1156-keep-conversation-flowing-video.html


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## apinkfloydfan (Jul 28, 2011)

i am amazed that there are people so like me, having so much difficulty with conversation is my number one personality trait that bothers me the most. when i was in junior high many people thought i was stuck-up when in fact i just had nothing to say. i wish i could just get to the point where i accept how i am and live with it without constanly berating myself for having this problem.


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## Odelius (Aug 30, 2011)

am1432, that was awesome. Really. Just make a game of weirding people out. They probably didn't even notice anything wrong. Smile and nod is what a lot of people seem to want anyway.


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## Hoyden (Aug 31, 2011)

This has long been a problem of mine. My mind just seems to go blank around other people, or when I do have something to share the words come out jumbled and disordered. An amusing story turns into an odd, flat statement that trails off into nowhere... 
I really enjoy writing, though posting on discussions is almost as torturous as speaking to people! I agonise over how to word a post and then worry over how it will be received (or ignored!).


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## Escape Artist (Aug 23, 2011)

I'm right there with you.

I do not like stretching out stories, adding "like", or "and stuff" to my sentences, or trying to flower up my opinions. I keep it short and simple. 

I think that's why I'm single still.


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## AM1432 (Aug 27, 2011)

Odelius said:


> am1432, that was awesome. Really. Just make a game of weirding people out. They probably didn't even notice anything wrong. Smile and nod is what a lot of people seem to want anyway.


:yes


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## Nichiren (Aug 15, 2011)

gaz said:


> I know how you feel. Most people talk about the concert, party, show they went to and i feel pretty left out although i have been to a few conuntries. I just don't feel i have anything to contribute.


Similar here.
Even though I kind of keep up with current events I really dislike talking about them because it is like throwing rocks at a wall.

And being a guy and not being the slightest bit interested in keeping up with team statistics or careers in any sport pretty much dooms you to isolation.
Not that I do not enjoy watching an event now and then for the action part.
But anything outside that is just too much.

And even though it is easier for me to type/write than to speak if I am not particularly drawn to something i have nothing to say about it.


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## Deadguy (Aug 19, 2011)

One of the keys to being a good conversationalist is to be an active listener. You'd be amazed how just a couple of well placed questions can turn an awkard conversation into a long and meaningful conversation. This way, you turn the burden of talking onto the other person, and there are many people who love nothing more than talking about themselves. Pay attention to little details about their kids, their hobbies, major life changes, etc., and you will have something to talk about every time you see them. 

Another thing you can do to improve your conversational skills is to be well read. I used to read the Wall Street Journal as well as the USA Today before work. Sometimes a topic would come up that I read about and I could chime in. Other times what I read was never used. However, this will make you a more well rounded person who doesn't have to rely of life experiences in order to participate in conversations.


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## bourne (Sep 15, 2011)

Ambient said:


> If I am talking to someone who is even shyer than I am, I tend to do better. I push myself to take the lead in the conversation by asking questions. But I still worry that I am boring, or prying into their personal life.


+1. That's probably one of the reasons why I like dating shy/quiet girls. SA doesn't seem to be a problem then and I find myself being more relaxed.

But I'm right there with the OP. Same exact problem. I interact with a lot of people at work, and many times someone will try to start a conversation and all I give is one word answers, if that. Sometimes I'll chuckle or I'll just smile. Sometimes I'll say "mmm" or "hah" or "yeah". But that's it. I have nothing to contribute.

Sometimes I'll have a lot on my mind and think I'll come post here and in my mind I think it'll be a HUGE thread. I sit down to write, and nothing more than few sentences will come out.

Also, I sometimes find myself "escaping" these situations by changing the subject. Like at work, when someone create a social situation with me, I'll un-create it by changing the subject to something formal and work-related and then when the situation is over I'll kick myself and feel stupid for doing that and just sigh :|


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## ForgetMeForever (May 3, 2011)

demureCat said:


> I can relate to what the OP wrote, not sure if it is for the same reasons.
> 
> *For me the root cause it still anxiety. That my mind is blank or my answers short, to me, is an effort to get out of the stressful situation as soon as possible. Telling myself I had little to say, I think, is a way of comforting myself.*
> 
> ...


I think I'm just so stressed out that I "mentally vacate the building" so to speak, and *therefore* can't think of anything to say. I can have long, thoughtful conversations with my husband. I talk some with my friend if I'm not depressed. Everyone else just seems too judgmental for me.

Drinking doesn't help me though, it just dumbs me down. So while I might be slightly more talkative, I'm not talking about anything interesting or intelligent. (It takes too much alcohol for even the smallest anxiety relief.)

I've just decided, I'm going to allow myself to be quiet, unless there is someone with whom I feel an emotional connection or something. Better to be quiet than to be drunkenly obnoxious.

I also tend to like to provide information and be helpful to other people when I'm able. It's interesting that demureCat mentioned being that way.


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## mnshywoman (Sep 11, 2011)

Deadguy said:


> One of the keys to being a good conversationalist is to be an active listener. You'd be amazed how just a couple of well placed questions can turn an awkward conversation into a long and meaningful conversation. This way, you turn the burden of talking onto the other person, and there are many people who love nothing more than talking about themselves. Pay attention to little details about their kids, their hobbies, major life changes, etc., and you will have something to talk about every time you see them.
> 
> Another thing you can do to improve your conversational skills is to be well read. I used to read the Wall Street Journal as well as the USA Today before work. Sometimes a topic would come up that I read about and I could chime in. Other times what I read was never used. However, this will make you a more well rounded person who doesn't have to rely of life experiences in order to participate in conversations.


This is all good advice but..... sometimes I just don't care about what some people have to say, some people already talk enough about themselves, their family, their kids, grandkids, etc. and I just don't want to encourage them.

I don't like to watch the news except to catch the weather in the mornings, but that means I'm not up on current events unless I happen to hear something on the radio on my 10 minute drive to work. Reading the paper.... nope, I don't even get a paper. Your advice is excellent but that's too much like homework to me, I don't want to read up on stuff I don't care about just to be able to make conversation, I'd rather just sit and listen to others talk and not say anything. But that's just me.


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## The Apathetic Observer (Mar 24, 2013)

I'm like AM1432. The only exception to the rule (for me) is when I'm troubleshooting a problem or a set of problems that I have direct knowledge of. When it comes to things like sports and politics, I try my best to disengage and hope/pray that no one tries to engage me.

Also, I dislike small talk immensely. I always have. And I have a feeling I always will.


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## cavemanslaststand (Jan 6, 2011)

The Apathetic Observer said:


> I'm like AM1432. The only exception to the rule (for me) is when I'm troubleshooting a problem or a set of problems that I have direct knowledge of. When it comes to things like sports and politics, I try my best to disengage and hope/pray that no one tries to engage me.
> 
> Also, I dislike small talk immensely. I always have. And I have a feeling I always will.


I'm about 10 years older and I'm beginning to babble and small talk more.

Small talk == Hoover Dam why the hell did you bring this post back up again. There are so many people on this post who unfortunately post no more. It makes me sad not seeing the posters who posted above in this thread any more.

I really want more:


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## Marc999 (Mar 25, 2013)

Bingo! Glad you brought up this topic, however old the thread is.

I'm exactly that way. On the off chance that I do add to a conversation; I'll get the continual stares, like..."ummm, ok, is there more you'd like to add?"

Two things come to mind:
(1) I don't get out much, therefore really don't have a lot to talk about. Nor am I into organized sports (i.e. hockey/baseball etc.) Not sure why, just never liked them. This particular part has been a real drag when talking with a group of guys who are yappin' away over the game last night. I just have nothing to add.

(2) I draw blanks, likely because I'm afraid of what other people will think. Therefore, I get a quick rush of anxiety (you know, that cold feeling in your stomach), and pretty much forget my train of thought. Obviously I don't like being the center of attention.

Ways to tackle this? I'm much better 1-on-1 or in a very small group, say 2-3 people. Beyond that, I start to feel possibly judged if I say something disagreeable, so I remain silent.


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## JamesM2 (Aug 29, 2012)

I usually try and avoid situations that will involve having to engage in conversation. In fact, the only times I ever really talk to others is when I am at work, where I have no choice but to do so. I'm lucky though as I get on well with the guy I sit next to, so I talk quite happily to him. I don't often chime into the conversations most of the others have though, as they're usually talking about things that just don't interest me at all such as the latest reality TV show they're watching, celebrity gossip, sports etc. Also most people like to talk about what they got up to in the weekend, or what they are going to be getting up to this coming weekend, which isn't something I can really contribute to either.

I'm not very good with engaging in smalltalk with people I hardly ever see just for the sake of being polite or filling a silence - I can never think of anything to say, and quite frankly, it's too much effort for absolutely no gain. Usually if someone tries to initiate such conversation with me, it's over pretty quickly.


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

i dont say much either


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## Gregory House (Feb 14, 2013)

One more over here.

I feel like my mind spaces out and goes blank. I know what is that feeling and how you feel.


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## The Apathetic Observer (Mar 24, 2013)

I found this particular thread floating around on google. Didn't know it was an old thread. I just knew It's a particular area that I struggle in and therefore deserves my full and undevoted attention.


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## mardymoo (Jan 8, 2013)

Yes I'm the same. <-- see thats proof. I can't even make wordy posts lol. I think it's just mental fog more than anything.


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## The Apathetic Observer (Mar 24, 2013)

Well... I'm at work till 3:00pm and It's only 8:20am right now. I got nothing else to do but run down the clock. Might as well find other people on the net who can relate to me.


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## Mister Spirit (Mar 28, 2013)

I was plagued with social anxiety since childhood, but only around a big group of people. There were so many things I wanted to say to so many people when we were all younger, and I just couldn't muster up the courage to do it. I always thought of myself to be a boring person that no one cared to listen to. Then one day I told myself that I was invisible and nothing I said mattered and that nobody cared. That might have been true now that I think about it. I always felt like I didn't belong and I used to dream about speaking my mind in front of the same people, but when I woke up and had the chances to do it, I retreated. This left me disappointed with so many missed opportunities. I always felt like I was the last person on anyone's friends list and that if I and another person were the only two people remaining in a room, that person would simply leave without engaging in a conversation with me. I always felt like people got bored of what I had to say quickly and pay attention to others. Maybe all of this was a longtime delusion that I entertained in my own head. I'll never know. In the end, it's all my fault. That's why I resorted to artistic mediums in order to express how I felt. That was the only way I was able to channel all of my emotions and deep-seated frustrations. However, none of the people I ever wanted to say the exact words to were anywhere near my life at this point. They were all far too busy with their own lives (marriage + careers). This has left me very dissatisfied. This is why I avoid crowded gatherings where there are tons of people. They all have so many interesting things to say to each other and I just end up feeling so miserable that I want to die. This has happened to me throughout my childhood. I never attend social gatherings anymore. All the times I did, I always asked myself, "What the **** am I doing here?" No one will ever understand. They'll probably continue to think I'm some outcast lone weirdo or something. I bet they ridiculed me behind my back too. Who knows? Or maybe they did try to open up to me countless times and I rejected them. I don't know anymore. Now I'm far too apathetic to even converse with people. I just can't help but feel that it doesn't matter since we're never gonna become close friends or anything and they'll just use me as a stepping stone to finding other/better people to befriend. Yeah.


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## rg8813 (Nov 27, 2012)

I can never think of anything to say. And I end up not paying attention to the person talking because I'm too busy trying to think of something to say.


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## Marc999 (Mar 25, 2013)

Mister Spirit said:


> I was plagued with social anxiety since childhood, but only around a big group of people. There were so many things I wanted to say to so many people when we were all younger, and I just couldn't muster up the courage to do it. I always thought of myself to be a boring person that no one cared to listen to. Then one day I told myself that I was invisible and nothing I said mattered and that nobody cared. That might have been true now that I think about it. I always felt like I didn't belong and I used to dream about speaking my mind in front of the same people, but when I woke up and had the chances to do it, I retreated. This left me disappointed with so many missed opportunities. I always felt like I was the last person on anyone's friends list and that if I and another person were the only two people remaining in a room, that person would simply leave without engaging in a conversation with me. I always felt like people got bored of what I had to say quickly and pay attention to others. Maybe all of this was a longtime delusion that I entertained in my own head. I'll never know. In the end, it's all my fault. That's why I resorted to artistic mediums in order to express how I felt. That was the only way I was able to channel all of my emotions and deep-seated frustrations. However, none of the people I ever wanted to say the exact words to were anywhere near my life at this point. They were all far too busy with their own lives (marriage + careers). This has left me very dissatisfied. This is why I avoid crowded gatherings where there are tons of people. They all have so many interesting things to say to each other and I just end up feeling so miserable that I want to die. This has happened to me throughout my childhood. I never attend social gatherings anymore. All the times I did, I always asked myself, "What the **** am I doing here?" No one will ever understand. They'll probably continue to think I'm some outcast lone weirdo or something. I bet they ridiculed me behind my back too. Who knows? Or maybe they did try to open up to me countless times and I rejected them. I don't know anymore. Now I'm far too apathetic to even converse with people. I just can't help but feel that it doesn't matter since we're never gonna become close friends or anything and they'll just use me as a stepping stone to finding other/better people to befriend. Yeah.


Yes, I'm the same way, or at least headed in that direction. The word that comes to mind is jealousy.
I would be so jealous of siblings and friends, with their individual success stories and exciting lives. They just look so happy, getting the most out of life. I suppose that's the part that makes me uncomfortable in social gatherings, is the fact that I don't live a fulfilling life; no wife or children, lackluster weekends, no exciting hobbies. Therefore, not exactly a life of the party kind of guy.
I know I know, get a hobby! Well ok, but going it alone is rather difficult in itself, let alone boring. Putting together a 1001 piece puzzle on a Friday night is not exactly my idea of a conversation starter.
Wasn't always like this and hopefully with a swift kick in my ***, I'll be able to regain control once again and enjoy the 2nd 1/2 of my life.


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## Zulnex (Mar 30, 2013)

I am the same as well. I just can't find the proper words to keep the conversation going. I often forget what the other person was saying to me, since I worry about what should I say next.


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## Mister Spirit (Mar 28, 2013)

Marc999 said:


> Yes, I'm the same way, or at least headed in that direction. The word that comes to mind is jealousy.
> I would be so jealous of siblings and friends, with their individual success stories and exciting lives. They just look so happy, getting the most out of life. I suppose that's the part that makes me uncomfortable in social gatherings, is the fact that I don't live a fulfilling life; no wife or children, lackluster weekends, no exciting hobbies. Therefore, not exactly a life of the party kind of guy.
> I know I know, get a hobby! Well ok, but going it alone is rather difficult in itself, let alone boring. Putting together a 1001 piece puzzle on a Friday night is not exactly my idea of a conversation starter.
> Wasn't always like this and hopefully with a swift kick in my ***, I'll be able to regain control once again and enjoy the 2nd 1/2 of my life.


Yep. It sucks. I hate it. Sometimes I wish I could find people who were just like me and we could create some kind of a posse together so that we could embark on our own unconventional adventures. Sounds too good to be true.


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## hawkmoon (Apr 2, 2013)

Wow. Every post on this thread could have been written by me. Except I would never have been able to express those feelings  Thank you to everyone for making me feel a little less weird.


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## pink28 (Apr 14, 2013)

I am the same way as well.......... haha We know how to have conversations about anxiety at least lol


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## pierceson07 (May 30, 2012)

I too have little to say in conversations , and on the other hand I try to talk alot so there won't be that annoying silence..although sometimes I can see the other person isn"t really listening..I then tend to speak too fast to get it over with. At night I do ponder what I should talk about , if I know I will be meeting someone the next day.... When I take phone calls its hard for me to tell the other person I have to go....


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## snuggles77 (Apr 21, 2013)

I'm the same but have you ever considered the fact that these people you're talking to just aren't the right ones to talk to! Why do we always look at ourselves when we have nothing to say. Look at the people around you they're not giving you the openings and topics that interest you. Stop blaming yourselves. When you have a good conversation with close friends they give you information and help to let conversation flow. Be comfortable in your own silence.


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