# I'm completely miserable at Community College how do I cope?



## Joseph Smith135 (Jan 14, 2015)

I'm 18 and I go to Community College. I live in a small town suburbs and I'm moderately well-off. But I'm suicidal and I need help. Please read.

I go to boring community college. I have a job at abercrombie and fitch. In one year and a half I should be going to regular university. Everything is right on track and I should be happy. I"m going to finish college with zero student debt and with a degree in accounting and business. I should be fine.

But I'm not

I hate my family. My mother and father fight all the time and it's completely miserable to pick sides. They are only together "because of the kids". They hate each other and give each other nasty comments all the time. My mother is overprotective, narcissistic and obsessive woman who has made me miserable since the first day I was alive. She's irritating and I can't stand her. 
My Father is emotionally distant and doesn't support me in the slightest. My older brother lives at home and he too is completely emotionally distant.

They don't understand that I'm unhappy. I tell them about once or twice a week, how miserable I am, how I wish I had never been born, how death wouldn't be so bad. I try to complain about things but they never understand. They just tell me to suck it up because life sucks.

It really does. I don't have any friends. Just a few people that I talk to at work and at school. It's not for a lack of trying. I have never had a girlfriend.

My small town is boring as hell. I have big dreams.
Everything should be getting better once I am at university and away from my family. But I'm miserable in the mean time. How do I cope?

I want to take a trip to Canada next winter after I finish community college just to go out and experience more of the world. But i'm worried that my parents will stop me.

Also I'm worried that my parents won't pay for my college.

I don't know but I'm full of worries and I can't stand it anymore


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## hazel22 (Dec 4, 2014)

I'm sorry that you are going through that. That sounds like it sucks. I don't have any advice but I hope that you stay strong and reach your dreams 

Since your family doesn't sound supportive, maybe try talking to a therapist?


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## padanew (Jun 21, 2013)

Just thought I'd be able to give some input here since I was in a similar situation a while back.

If you have SA, school sucks. Seriously, I can totally relate. But please believe me when I say that you're not wrong about university - for me it was a positively life changing.... change... to my...life (words, how do they work). Hang in there, it will get better. I'd love to offer some advice regarding what sounds like a really unhappy home situation, but honestly I'm afraid anything I say might make it worse :b. 

Just know that the forum is here any time you need to vent or whatever - this has to be one of the most accepting communities I've ever seen, and I'm sure at least getting it off your chest will help, even just on a forum to random people online .

It will get better, you can do it .


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## Joseph Smith135 (Jan 14, 2015)

Thanks guys for the kind words. 

I'm trying to take as much advantage of my parent's money in the meantime and transfer early to a four year university. 

After that I want to move across the country to Washington State and go to graduate school. After that I want to divorce my family completely and enjoy the rest of my life.

Good plan?


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## padanew (Jun 21, 2013)

As far as getting a good education goes, can't fault you there.

But I feel like I have to at least say that you should give your family another chance once you've moved out - it sounds to me like the fact that they are 'staying together for the kids' and one hasn't split or run off with the other despite their being unhappy together is because they love you and they just don't know how to express it because let's be honest;

Your mother is overprotective because she'd be heartbroken if anything happened to you.

Your father's emotional distance could be attributed to the fact that many guys aren't particularly outwardly emotional, I know I have trouble expressing mine most of the time.

I dunno, I'm no psychologist that's for sure, but I know that my family really changed (in my eyes anyway) after I moved away to university - it's almost like they appreciated seeing me more because they took me for granted.


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## Joseph Smith135 (Jan 14, 2015)

You're probably right man. Despite all my frustration with them I know that their heart is in the right place even though they are heavily misguided. 

I know that I probably got it good. It's frustrating right now and it's making me pretty unhappy. I'm probably going to rant a lot about my parents on this forum but I know that I'm going to be fine and everything is going to turn out okay. 

I don't really love them or even like them, but I do appreciate all that they have done for me. It could have been a hell of a lot worse if they didn't pay for everything. 

But really I can't stand them and I'm moving at least five or six states away from them at all times during my adult life haha


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