# How much time are you wasting?



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I just want to spread a little positive thought here. This isn't going to be for everyone but maybe it's for you.

I've heard the saying "If you enjoy the time you waste, is it really wasted?" I feel there's truth in that to a certain degree. We all need to take a break and relax from time to time.

For a long time, I had nothing but time to waste, or at least that's how I saw it. But I think of all that wasted time that could have been put to use. In the sense that we don't have forever. How many people stop and think about what they really want out of life and how many of those people stop once the self-doubt and fear creeps in? Telling themselves they're not good enough, talented enough, smart enough, creative enough, brave enough, etc...

We are what we think. The most powerful words in the English language are I AM...

What if we didn't stop at doubt? What if we dared to go beyond it? To move beyond our fear of failure.

What I've learned is that Self-actualizing people are detached from outcome. They don't do what they do because of the results that will come but rather because it's their calling.

To find our calling, our passion we need to learn to believe in ourselves and to do that we have to see what we're capable of. We have to step out of our comfort zone. The more we do that the more we earn credibility with ourselves in small incremental ways.

At first, there is going to be resistance, our thoughts are going to try and get us to give up with excuses and reasons why, even before we've started. We have to move past that. To realize the worry of "What ifs" are just thoughts, the fear we feel generated by them is only being generated by a thought, it's not actually happening in this moment, now. It's a choice to move past the resistance and it's 100% in OUR power, we just have to make it.

One thing that's stuck with me is "Never take the easy route. It's the hard route that sticks." If we want to grow, to live our full potential we need to challenge ourselves.

The world says fear is bad, fear is just an opportunity for bravery. The more we face our fear the braver we become.

The fear, anxiety, and depression that we feel. The feeling of being lost...comes from a lack of purpose. If we can find something we love and are passionate about by finding what we believe in in life, something that gives us a higher purpose that aligns with our values in life and decide to become great at it, to give ourselves over to it, to go after it with everything we have, to pour ourselves into it...to keep going when things get boring or uncomfortable. To be persistent, to discipline our minds.

It's all within our power. There is greatness within us all right now. We just have to learn to access it. We have to commit to becoming who we were destined to become in life and to let go of the excuses from our story..our job, our relationship status, our looks, etc...

What all this comes down to is a mindset that requires persistence in creating. We have to stay aware of the mindset we are constantly creating. To be aware of when we fall back into old habits of negative thought and when we do, to realize what we're doing, and to make a conscious decision of which thoughts are you going to give your attention to, your focus, your will? To focus on what we want to create for ourselves because I think we all want to feel self-motivating, self-encouraging, self-reliant, self-loving, and self-validating. We all want to be in control of our lives and we can.

"It's always been inside of YOU YOU YOU!" haha.

I'm starting to ramble. I'll just leave it with these questions. What do you want in life? What are you willing to do and possibly give up in your current life to make it happen?


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

I like your post - but it's difficult to have confidence in yourself when you've had so much fear in your life up until that point. I've been able to push myself to do things in the past - but it was because I was younger and it was expected of me to at least try. It annoys me that my fears dictated what I was able to do and how I was able to live.

I agree that we are what we think though. Sometimes I can look at what I've done and what I've dealt with and think I actually was quite strong in just being able to get through that. I guess it's a matter of perspective.

I just hate the fact that anxiety seems to have become such a random thing with me nowadays. It's definitely not limited to social situations. I had terrible anxiety last night just sitting in here in my flat. It makes it difficult to plan or look to the future with confidence.


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## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I get where you're coming from. I'm only in my 30's but I spent most of my life allowing fear to dictate my life. And I totally get what you're saying about looking at what you've done and had to deal with and how strong you were to get through it!

I'm not saying we can get rid of the pain in life. I'm saying to embrace it.

They say something like life is 10% what happens to you 90% how you choose to handle it or react.

I don't know what exactly you've been through but I know we've both experienced struggles beyond SA. You did what you had to do to get through it and it made you stronger most likely. I know my experiences did!

For me, that anxiety that has no apparent reason is telling me I need to do something. To continue to grow in some way, whatever way inspires me. Of course, it will be different for everyone. And I don't think we'll ever get rid of anxiety even then. That's what I'm saying I guess, we can't wait for the perfect conditions hoping there will come a time when anxiety isn't there so we can take action, we need to carry on despite the fear and anxiety, despite the discomfort.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

This is the positive thinking forum so I'd better not post. I'm really not the right demographic for this thread.😂


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

Starcut83 said:


> I get where you're coming from. I'm only in my 30's but I spent most of my life allowing fear to dictate my life. And I totally get what you're saying about looking at what you've done and had to deal with and how strong you were to get through it!
> 
> I'm not saying we can get rid of the pain in life. I'm saying to embrace it.
> 
> ...


Definitely - we have to keep trying. Some days I'm more in the mood for it than others though. 

I'm lucky in that I know I don't always feel anxious. Some days it's just not there. The next time I feel like that I'll jump on a plane and go somewhere warm and exotic. (covid permitting of course)


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## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

truant said:


> This is the positive thinking forum so I'd better not post. I'm really not the right demographic for this thread.😂


Yeah, I wrote this simply to hopefully empower even just one person to know they aren't helpless and can take action towards a better life if they really want it. This is what inspired me and what has been working for me. It's just a mindset that has gotten me through challenging times and helped me take action to do things that help me grow despite fear, worry, and doubt clouding my mind, and usually, on the other end, I find a bit of clarity even and in some cases especially when I make mistakes and stumble a bit along the way. Thank you for being respectful.


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## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Just going to drop a few inspirational quotes here.

"If you're going to be uncomfortable, your reward has to be big. So if you're going to be making a change, ask yourself, why is what I want to achieve so important to me? Why am I willing to use my willpower and persistence, why am I willing to go through the discomfort of change, why am I willing to listen to negative self talk or emotions that I have and still _do it anyway_? And if you don't have a big enough reason, the first time you have a chance for an excuse you'll take it. Because they don't like the discomfort of change. Well the only constant is change. So why not aquire the skill to be comfortable in change?"

"All these questions will flood your mind, why am I here? I'm not good enough. Trust me I know all about the questions and they will flood your mind. If you do not have the answers for them you will quit. The answers lie in the repetitions. You must not forget the repetitions you put into trying to dominate the crap that you're in today."

"Being on the cause to make yourself unstoppable. To get out of your mind the negative thoughts that are causing most people to go through life being stuck because they're volunteer victims. Somebody said that many people die at the age of 25 and don't get buried till they're 65 because they've got so much garbage in their minds."

"They feel fear and they release that fear and they _take actions anyway_. So they can turn their fear into their fuel. And when you can _turn your fear into your fuel in a calm-centered way._.."

"The question is what do you believe? Because you will manifest the life that you believe."

"Figure out what that thing is, that larger goal you have, and why you want it because chances are that you're going to be able to do it in smaller ways along the way. If it makes you feel heavy, daunted, and terrified to pursue it because you're obsessing over the end goal. It's some traditional marker of success, money a big company, or whatever, and not how you want to help people. Then it's just a matter of reframing it. If on the other hand, it's because you THINK you're supposed to want that thing, but you don't actually want it. So the idea of pursuing it and all the work you would have to do to get there is just horrifying to you then yes you've picked the wrong goal. _Just remember don't chase something because people have told you that you should want it_. Literally, _just look at what gives you more energy than it takes_."

"_There isn't a better way to live you're life. There's no right way and wrong way. There's only the way that gives you more energy. There's only the way that gives you fulfillment. When you have those things, when you're filled by what you're doing and it's giving you more energy than you're on the right path. 

But I don't think that there is a universal path and so the only universal path is to do the things that give YOU fulfillment and energy. So if spending time with your friends gives you that than you should be spending more time with your friends, if dating gives you that than you should be dating. So you don't need to want to be the best in the world at something, you don't need to want to make a lot of money, you don't need to want to be an entrepreneur. So those are the punchlines for "What's the meaning of life" and so on...it is to DO something that makes you feel a deep sense of well being, which I'll call fulfillment and something that gives you energy._"


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## Sainnot (Feb 6, 2021)

I waste 24 hours a day. What you say is true and I know it: maybe it will motivated me, we’ll see.


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## extremly (Oct 25, 2012)

I wonder what your post must read like, for someone whose brain and mind has been demoralized. Foolish optimism?



Starcut83 said:


> The world says fear is bad, fear is just an opportunity for bravery. The more we face our fear the braver we become.


True. Difficult to accept but profoundly true.


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## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

extremly said:


> I wonder what your post must read like, for someone whose brain and mind has been demoralized. Foolish optimism?
> 
> 
> 
> True. Difficult to accept but profoundly true.


That's a good insight. You're probably right, it's all in our perception. It won't be for everyone.

Sometimes all it takes is that one insight, just one piece that stands out to someone and gets them to think to themselves "Wow! I get that." to spark a fire in them.

I was seemingly hopelessly demoralized and something in me drove me to find things to inspire me, to empower me, and gradually as I opened my mind to new possibilities I started to change. I started to accept the hard truth that no one is going to come along and save me. People can help but if something or someone was going to change my life, it was going to have to be me.

It was a scary thought at first but once it really sunk in and I started to own it, it was empowering.


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## extremly (Oct 25, 2012)

Starcut83 said:


> it's all in our perception


Yeah. This is also the hardest thing to change (at least on my personal experience)


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## firelight (Jan 31, 2019)

extremly said:


> I wonder what your post must read like, for someone whose brain and mind has been demoralized. Foolish optimism?


I could answer as a demoralized person but not really allowed in the positive thinking section huh.


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## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

firelight said:


> I could answer as a demoralized person but not really allowed in the positive thinking section huh.


I don't know the rules. I'm not usually good at following them. haha. If it were up to me I'd say I don't have a problem with it. Everyone has a point of view and there's no reason anybodies should be invalidated.


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## either/or (Apr 27, 2020)

I waste 100% of my time because I spend 0% of if doing what I actually want to do. Mostly my time is spent on my grind appeasing my corporate overlords so I can get enough money for rent and food and bills and put a little in my 401k. Trying to make ends meet you're a slave to the money then you die, right? The sliver of free time I have that isn't wholly owned by my employer is spent doing other chores and errands. I usually have very little left over for anything else. I'm hoping this can change at some point soon.


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## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

either/or said:


> I waste 100% of my time because I spend 0% of if doing what I actually want to do. Mostly my time is spent on my grind appeasing my corporate overlords so I can get enough money for rent and food and bills and put a little in my 401k. Trying to make ends meet you're a slave to the money then you die, right? The sliver of free time I have that isn't wholly owned by my employer is spent doing other chores and errands. I usually have very little left over for anything else. I'm hoping this can change at some point soon.


That's rough. I hope things get better.


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## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

either/or said:


> I waste 100% of my time because I spend 0% of if doing what I actually want to do. Mostly my time is spent on my grind appeasing my corporate overlords so I can get enough money for rent and food and bills and put a little in my 401k. Trying to make ends meet you're a slave to the money then you die, right? The sliver of free time I have that isn't wholly owned by my employer is spent doing other chores and errands. I usually have very little left over for anything else. I'm hoping this can change at some point soon.


Just wanted to add I have respect for you. Some of us have to put ourselves in challenging circumstances to grow, it sounds like you're forced into one at the moment and it shows in character. You must be a strong person.


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## either/or (Apr 27, 2020)

Starcut83 said:


> Just wanted to add I have respect for you. Some of us have to put ourselves in challenging circumstances to grow, it sounds like you're forced into one at the moment and it shows in character. You must be a strong person.


Ha appreciate it but no I'm not strong. Just hanging on for dear life. People are capable of much more than they think when they're fighting for survival.


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## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

either/or said:


> Ha appreciate it but no I'm not strong. Just hanging on for dear life. People are capable of much more than they think when they're fighting for survival.


I know about survival, without going in-depth, in my 20's I suffered a manic psychotic episode for 2 years with no one to talk to and had to fight for my sanity on a daily basis without knowing what was going on. I had to fight not to lose my mind. Survival takes strength. Real strength. Even if we feel like we're barely keeping it together when at times we feel like we want to just give up. Whatever the particular circumstance is that is causing us to live in almost constant survival mode. You haven't given up. It takes strength. I wish you the best.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

Starcut83 said:


> Yeah, I wrote this simply to hopefully empower even just one person to know they aren't helpless and can take action towards a better life if they really want it. This is what inspired me and what has been working for me. It's just a mindset that has gotten me through challenging times and helped me take action to do things that help me grow despite fear, worry, and doubt clouding my mind, and usually, on the other end, I find a bit of clarity even and in some cases especially when I make mistakes and stumble a bit along the way. Thank you for being respectful.


One of the reasons I said I'm not the right demographic is that I have actually sort of the opposite problem. I've been a self-help/self-actualization addict for the better part of 30 years now. It seems like all I do is try to figure out what it is I really want and then try to do it. You should read some of my old posts on this forum, haha. Nevertheless, my life is a rolling circus of dumpster fires. 😂


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## Sainnot (Feb 6, 2021)

Wasted the full 24 hours yesterday. Doing a little bit better today so far...


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## Dan the man (Jul 4, 2013)

Society I think puts out images if you're not being productive/socializing all the time somehow you're being wasteful. Wasted or chill time I think is necessary.

Yeah doing things you know are the right way often involves the "harder path".


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## Known (May 9, 2021)

You are a good writer dunno if you have considered doing some creative writing of some sort. I like your posts it’s good to read as very positive. Your title made me think of “who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?” I think it’s not worth wasting time worrying what others are thinking because there are better things in store on the other side of fear. Like it’s worth overcoming the initial discomfort in order to create new friendships etc. I think I’ve wasted a lot of time just avoiding situations I’m uncomfortable with without seeing that there is something better. And the past doesn’t dictate the future. It’s good to see myself in a different light and that there is hope for change and that there may be ups and downs but doesn’t mean I can’t get support from others in that. Like other people can believe for you when you struggle to believe for yourself. And just being patient with myself too and not beating myself up about stuff either. And definitely not running around trying to help people all the time because I realised that I’m not actually helping when I’m anxious I’m just being drained or enabling people with their own anxiety. Think you can truly help others when you are free yourself. I want to spend more time looking at the things that I dreamed off that I’ve given up on a bit and try again with these things because life is short. 👍


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## Shiny-appocalypse-cookies (Jul 4, 2021)

Not worth worrying about even I waste 100 years thats barely even a blink to the universe .... Then it's recycling time for my matter for the 5 billionth time, it's humbling to realise that matter will never be in the exact composition that is me ever again though.


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## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

My original post wasn't intended to tell anyone how to live their life. I was feeling inspired and so I wrote in the hopes to inspire others. Pretty much all there was to it.

There's no right or wrong way to live.




Dan the man said:


> Society I think puts out images if you're not being productive/socializing all the time somehow you're being wasteful. Wasted or chill time I think is necessary.
> 
> Yeah doing things you know are the right way often involves the "harder path".


Yeah, I didn't mean never take time to relax.  Also, I wasn't really talking about productivity as much as growth or living by doing things that give you energy rather than take it, which could be as simple as spending time with friends...as long as you're there with them at that moment, feeling alive.



Known said:


> You are a good writer dunno if you have considered doing some creative writing of some sort. I like your posts it’s good to read as very positive. Your title made me think of “who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?” I think it’s not worth wasting time worrying what others are thinking because there are better things in store on the other side of fear. Like it’s worth overcoming the initial discomfort in order to create new friendships etc. I think I’ve wasted a lot of time just avoiding situations I’m uncomfortable with without seeing that there is something better. And the past doesn’t dictate the future. It’s good to see myself in a different light and that there is hope for change and that there may be ups and downs but doesn’t mean I can’t get support from others in that. Like other people can believe for you when you struggle to believe for yourself. And just being patient with myself too and not beating myself up about stuff either. And definitely not running around trying to help people all the time because I realised that I’m not actually helping when I’m anxious I’m just being drained or enabling people with their own anxiety. Think you can truly help others when you are free yourself. I want to spend more time looking at the things that I dreamed off that I’ve given up on a bit and try again with these things because life is short. 👍


Thank you.  I actually am going to be taking creative writing classes soon!

@Shiny-appocalypse-cookies Whole other topic, but yeah I get what you're saying.☺


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## taybri95 (Dec 10, 2019)

I needed this. I waste most days away.


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