# CBT- more convinced than ever after recent break-up.



## Jmoney (May 26, 2007)

Ever since I learned CBT and started feeling better I have become a believer of its power to change lives. But I recently went through a break-up and being able to counter my thoughts in my TEA forms has kept me positive and has kept me from dwelling on what was and I am now focused on putting myself back out in the world and finding the love of my life or at least a companion that is a better fit than my last one. It is amazing how powerful the brain is and just by altering our outlook we can change how we experience our lives.


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## Prettyinside (Nov 2, 2006)

What form of CBT where you using? A program you were doing yourself or through a therapist?


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## NJexplorer313 (Feb 12, 2008)

Prettyinside said:


> What form of CBT where you using? A program you were doing yourself or through a therapist?


I would also like to know this as well. I am looking into CBT myself. Thanks


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## Prettyinside (Nov 2, 2006)

NJexplorer313 said:


> Prettyinside said:
> 
> 
> > What form of CBT where you using? A program you were doing yourself or through a therapist?
> ...


Yea, Im currently using Lucinda Bassett's Attacking Anxiety & Depression program.


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## Jmoney (May 26, 2007)

I learned cbt and the TEA form through the book called Been There, Done That? DO This! by Sam Obitz. It's really encouyraginbg short book written by a guy who fought with anxiety for 20 years before getting better using the TEA forms. Sorry so late in my reply.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

I keep saying it so I suppose it wont hurt to say it again 

"Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness" by Gillian Butler is THE best CBT for SA book out there. If you want to really supercharge it, get the three part workbook. This is solid gold in book form.

Ross


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## X33 (Feb 13, 2005)

yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> I keep saying it so I suppose it wont hurt to say it again
> 
> "Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness" by Gillian Butler is THE best CBT for SA book out there. If you want to really supercharge it, get the three part workbook. This is solid gold in book form.
> 
> Ross


How much time commitment does it (book + workbook) require? Also, how long before you see significant improvement in SA?


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

AdrianG said:


> yeah_yeah_yeah said:
> 
> 
> > I keep saying it so I suppose it wont hurt to say it again
> ...


It varies for everyone. Time:

1) However long it takes you to read the whole book, cover to cover first.
2) Time to go back and read each chapter, working on the exercises as you go. Maybe about 30 minutes a day for the cognitive (thinking and writing) stuff AT OPTIMUM, and using mood diaries and so on. Some chap-ters are shorter or longer and might tell you to apply what it says for 2-3 weeks before moving on. Neurology has its own time frame - you cant rush it.
3) Time for behavioural experiments. You work up to these. They could be whole evenings (say, going out with some friends or to a class) or they could be short (going to the grocery store)

To see results - you will begin to notice an improvement - IF YOU DO THE BEHAVIOURAL EXPERIMENTS and start easy - in around 2 months. Then its just building and building on success. Really its an ongoing thing. Growth.

If you want quick relief, meds are the only way to go. But they are only a patch - a band aid. To change ot long term you need the therapy route. Best combination is meds + therapy as they seem to turbocharge the process. But as I said - its all realted to the amount of work you put in, how severe you are when you start and applying the methods, in their entirety, CORRECTLY. The books give excellent advice on the corret way to do it. DONT SKIP SECTIONS or you are shooting yourself in the foot.


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## X33 (Feb 13, 2005)

Thanks for the response.

One concern I have about CBT is that it may make me more inward looking/self conscious by practicing some of the cognitive exercises (eg. examine your thoughts for negativity). But there's plenty of evidence that CBT works, so I will give it a try this summer.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Some people think that if you look at your naegativity, that will somehow make you worse. In fact the opposite is true.

If you let your negative thoughts fester away unchecked because you are too afriad to look at them in the cold light of day, they run the show. Not you.

The thinking (cognitive) parts bring the buried thoughts out so that you can work on them- almost like a surgeon opening you up to work on a blocked artery or something. If he didnt open you up, he couldnt do anything to the artery, and it would clog and cause problems elsewhere.

Then once youve done the cognitve *GROUNDWORK* - YOU MUST MUST MUST MUST *MUST* .... (yes, 5 musts) DO THE *BEHAVIOURAL PART*.

CBT without any behavioural experiments, attentional training or safety behaviour removal is a *losing battle.* Its like driving up to the hospital, filling in the forms and meeting the doctor, but then just deciding to go the pub instead.

*CBT IS NOT JUST CHALLENGING THOUGHTS*. THIS IS A VERY COMMON, BUT *DRASTIC*, MISCONCEPTION.

Good luck!

(sorry for all the caps!!) 

Ross


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## shyguy32 (Mar 28, 2008)

Ross what is your oppinion of the dr richards overcomminc social anxiety step by step tapes and work book, ive already dropped $300 on it and have started the therapy is the book you speak of better.


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

That is awesome. We have a brain...might as well make friends with it huh?


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## Jmoney (May 26, 2007)

Awesome post yeah,yeah. I don't think any advice regarding CBT can be over stated. The thought countering and exposures go hand in hand and work wonders. Keep posting and I'll back you up when I'm on here


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## Jmoney (May 26, 2007)

Hey yeah yeah. Just passing through and though I'd say "hi" Hope you are having a great summer :banana


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

If only yeah yeah yeah was still hanging around to ask if he knew anything on selective mutism the severe form of social anxiety which is supposively a rare condition. not too many sm users on this forum although cbt and medication did help some.


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## littlesongbird (Jan 20, 2008)

*---*

---


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## Cured (Sep 13, 2005)

I searched every reference material I have, and found nothing about TEA form exercises. Is this something that is real or something that was made up in order to sell your book. If it is real, do you have any references or studies regarding what they are and how they improve Social Anxiety?


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## Jmoney (May 26, 2007)

Maven, what happened to Yeah yeah? You said he's no longer posting here? Thanks.


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## Jmoney (May 26, 2007)

littlesongbird said:


> is this really okay to try and do this yourself?


I would say yes but CBT groups offer more support and help get you going initially, kind of a good jump start to the process.


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## Jmoney (May 26, 2007)

Eric Barnes said:


> I searched every reference material I have, and found nothing about TEA form exercises. Is this something that is real or something that was made up in order to sell your book. If it is real, do you have any references or studies regarding what they are and how they improve Social Anxiety?


A TEA form is the most common exercise used in CBT. It is a thought countering exercise where you identify the errors in your internal thoughts that cause anxiety and then refute those thoughts objectively. I'm not a psychologist but they are in the books by Obitz I mentioned as well as the books by Dr. David Burns.


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## Jmoney (May 26, 2007)

Hi every1,

Been a long time wanted to say hey. Any return appearance by yeah yeah? this is my first time back posting since the site moved and was hoping he was back always loved his posts. I'm doing great and hope u guyz all are too:yes


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## james25 (Jan 1, 2010)

Welcome back!


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## Jmoney (May 26, 2007)

Thanks James25
In answer to your question in my notification (that didn't appear here?) The new found resilience I have in the face of adversity. Before I learned the cbt coping skills I have now I would crumble in the face of adversity. Now I am able to put everything into proper perspective countering all the thoughts I used to blow out of proportion and get on with my life.


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## james25 (Jan 1, 2010)

Thanks Jmoney. I edited my post when I realized you'd already posted about your CBT experience. (I thought this second page was the first page of the thread.) I'm glad to hear that it's worked so well for you. I'm going to try to get involved in group therapy if it's affordable.


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## Jmoney (May 26, 2007)

YW James! I have made that same mistake before thinking I had read the entire thread Try calling local universities psyche depts to see if they offer cbt groups, they are usually more affordable. You may want to read the cbt book by Sam Obitz that we used in my group and start trying to do the TEA form exercise in it if you can't find an affordable group in your area. It's a short book and was really easy to identify with for me.


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## JEmerson (Mar 25, 2010)

So it actually helps? I've been trying to work up the nerve to go to the anxiety clinic at a local university. They're supposed to use CBT and charge on a sliding scale so it's probably my best option.


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## Jmoney (May 26, 2007)

Sorry the notification went to my spam file and I never check there so I just saw your note today. I would definitely give it a try Jemereson:yes
Just remember in the end the results you receive depend on the work you do in between the sessions, so make sure and counter your thoughts in the TEA forms everyday. This will make you totally prepared for exposures and you will surprise yourself.


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## Jmoney (May 26, 2007)

I have not been around in a while but wanted to let everyone know i am still doing good. Hope everyone here is doing good too:boogie


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Doing better than before....always a good thing to say.


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## Jmoney (May 26, 2007)

That's awesome millenniumman75:clap
Keep up the good work and hopefully you will continue to improve!


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## d829 (Jul 29, 2010)

this is something I need to do too. I do the biofeedback and it really works so I need to add this to my arsenal.


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## rctriplefresh5 (Aug 24, 2009)

Jmoney said:


> Hi every1,
> 
> Been a long time wanted to say hey. Any return appearance by yeah yeah? this is my first time back posting since the site moved and was hoping he was back always loved his posts. I'm doing great and hope u guyz all are too:yes


dang funny how time works out...u posted this one month after yeah yeah last logged


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## Jmoney (May 26, 2007)

Bigtime bummer, but thanks for letting me know. Hopefully he'll come back and check in like I did:yes


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## Jmoney (May 26, 2007)

d829 said:


> this is something I need to do too. I do the biofeedback and it really works so I need to add this to my arsenal.


I think once you get the hang of them you will be plreasantly surprised at how much they accellerate your progress. I never did biofeedback but have talked to several people who say it has helped them a lot too:clap


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## Jmoney (May 26, 2007)

Hard to believe it has been four years since I posted the original note in this thread (time flies when you are having fun?) but it is more true to me now than it was when I first wrote it. If you have not tried CBT and the TEA forms I recommend that you do. I hope everyone is well and if Yeah,yeah is lurking please send me a note I miss you.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Jmoney said:


> Hard to believe it has been four years since I posted the original note in this thread (time flies when you are having fun?) but it is more true to me now than it was when I first wrote it. If you have not tried CBT and the TEA forms I recommend that you do. I hope everyone is well and if Yeah,yeah is lurking please send me a note I miss you.


Welcome back - yeah, it has made a HUGE difference for me. :yes


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## Jmoney (May 26, 2007)

Thanks and that's awesome to hear!!! I am so happy for you:clap


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Jmoney said:


> Thanks and that's awesome to hear!!! I am so happy for you:clap


Thank you - it certainly took long enough, but I am finally seeing change. At times, it mkaes me uneasy to know that I am not panicking as much as I used to, but that is part of growth. :stu

I hope you stick around - even when things are great, it is nice to be around to help people.


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## VC132 (Sep 1, 2010)

millenniumman75 said:


> Thank you - it certainly took long enough, but I am finally seeing change. At times, it mkaes me uneasy to know that I am not panicking as much as I used to, but that is part of growth. :stu
> 
> I hope you stick around - even when things are great, it is nice to be around to help people.


like. that's pretty huge imo.


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## Jmoney (May 26, 2007)

millenniumman75 said:


> Thank you - it certainly took long enough, but I am finally seeing change. At times, it mkaes me uneasy to know that I am not panicking as much as I used to, but that is part of growth. :stu
> 
> I hope you stick around - even when things are great, it is nice to be around to help people.


So happy for you. I am going to try and stick around, you are soo right! I have the right intentions and then I get caught up in life and forget. It feels good to try and help others because so many helped me find my path:yes I'm gonna try and be better!


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