# "You are so quiet"



## Zashlin (Dec 15, 2013)

I literally hate when people just point out my "quietness".

Like for example, at school I wanted to say something out loud to the class because we were doing "good things"( say a good thing that happened to you today) but you have to be chosen from another classmate to say it. So I raised my hand and the girl was surprised and was like "Wow, you have a good thing? You are so quiet aw" she was like being all nice about it and I didn't know how to reply. 
I was kind of panicking because all the students were staring at me and how was I suppose to reply to that? "Ha thanks for noticing! Like I didn't know that before!" but seriously..
So I just said "so um Can I say my good thing now?" and I was actually asking for permission from my teacher and her because I had nothing else to say and people were laughing at me. It may have been funny for them but it was humiliating for me. I did get to say my good thing but I still became really sad after.


but how do you reply to people when they point out your shyness or that you don't talk?
it really bothers me and I feel like they don't know what they're actually asking. How do you react to it?


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## a1993aron (Dec 29, 2013)

I would just tell them why. Mines is do to social Anxiety. So I tell people I have anxiety.


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## a1993aron (Dec 29, 2013)

If you don't want to tell them that you can tell them indirectly. Say your an introverte.


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## Peme (Jul 17, 2013)

Smile and giggle. Or just stay quiet. After all, it's what they expect.

I'm not sure people expect an answer when they say that most of the time. It's just a small observation. Some people just love to talk and point out the obvious.


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## Unable to change (Mar 5, 2012)

Im not sure tbh it happen to me when i went to school atleast once that i remember and i know your pain. Just reading your post brought back the feeling and i felt a shiver go down my spine. Although to someone with Sa that 1 thing will cause a week of misery i can assure you atleast in my case it was never mentioned and noone treated me any diffrent. In fact the girl who mentioned how i never spkoe infront of the whole class decided to make it her mission to break through my shell and we hung out after school a few times(few years later went on a date but thats a disaster for another day lol).


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## xlavenderx (Feb 23, 2014)

I hate when people do that... it's just rude. Can you imagine if you were to tell people, "Oh my god, you're quiet for once, its so cute, because normally you're sooo loud!"... lol

Anyway when people accuse me of being quiet, I usually tell them things like, "I'm just trying to listen" or "i'm not a big talker until I'm more comfortable/know someone better"... I feel like being upfront with anxiety/shyness is also helpful sometimes.

Even though you hate what they said, it seemed like they liked you were participating, so maybe it's not the worst thing... obviously it's rude but it sounds like this person didn't intend for it to be


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## StoicJester (Dec 23, 2013)

People have been pointing out my "shyness" or quietness" since I was a little girl. When they would ask me why I didn't talk more, I would just shrug or say "I don't know." But now I just say stuff like, "I'm more of a listener." Or if they are being kind of rude, I'll say, "I just don't feel the need to talk constantly. I like quiet." Usually that baffles them into silence.


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## AReflectionsEye (Feb 15, 2014)

Say something like... I prefer thinking about what others are saying then saying what I am thinking. That way, when I do say what I am thinking, I will make more of an impact.


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## andi1298 (Feb 24, 2014)

I hate it when people do this to me. I mean it's not like I'm oblivious to the fact that I don't talk much and I honestly have no idea how they expect me to respond. Sometimes I kind of just shrug and kind of try to smile. For the most part, I feel like people aren't trying to be rude and are just curious. I guess they don't realize how awkward they make us feel. But then there are some really rude people who kind of purposely call you out in the middle of a group or something so that everyone stares and then asks I why you don't talk.


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## eternalmind (Feb 24, 2014)

I was called taciturn by a boss once (I had to look it up!)


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## ksinev (Dec 14, 2013)

Zashlin said:


> I literally hate when people just point out my "quietness".
> 
> Like for example, at school I wanted to say something out loud to the class because we were doing "good things"( say a good thing that happened to you today) but you have to be chosen from another classmate to say it. So I raised my hand and the girl was surprised and was like "Wow, you have a good thing? You are so quiet aw" she was like being all nice about it and I didn't know how to reply.
> I was kind of panicking because all the students were staring at me and how was I suppose to reply to that? "Ha thanks for noticing! Like I didn't know that before!" but seriously..
> ...


People used to say this to me all the time. Luckily, as you get older people tend to realize how rude it is and stop saying it. I can't remember the last time someone has said this to me, not that I'm all that vociferous, I just think as people mature they realize that painfully shy actually means just that, the actual anxiety you experience is an intensely uncomfortable physical sensation. 
It's hard when it is a big group like in class. But on one on one situations I would try to explain that you have anxiety. I would actually tell people it was rude to point out things like that but it is up to a person's comfort level.

I know the girl probably didn't mean it to be rude but it annoys me when people get so caught up in themselves that they feel that everyone should act exactly like them. So I would usually never give people who said those comments very much slack, I would come to the conclusion that they are too full of themselves to appreciate different types of people and I was better off not having to deal with them. So I can't really advocate for laughing it off or shrugging, I'm more the mean glare type of person.


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## eternalmind (Feb 24, 2014)

I agree Ive learnt like a few other posters is that when your not talking your listening, this sounds obvious but theres a lot of power in that kind of thinking. 

As for the other girl or whoever may say it in the future, theres no real right answer or reply to them, I guess it depends on the situation, if its someone you see regularly they may be more open to a one on one explanation if your comfortable with that, whereas if its someone who you wont see again or don't like, a dirty look might just do!


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## pavane ivy (Feb 9, 2014)

I find it very annoying too... People asked me that several times when I was in school. Back then I had no real response to such a stupid question. If asked now I'd say something along lines of... "It's how I am?" "Maybe I have nothing to say to you or anyone here?" 

School sucks, period.


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## Dominican Kid (Feb 25, 2014)

Is Zashlin your real name or just screen name? I think its a pretty name


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## Anonymous45 (Feb 3, 2014)

I hate being asked that question, I just shrug it off


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## Helpmeok (Feb 25, 2014)

indirect they could tell and saying , u are not normal, something wrong with u . your behavior is not correct.


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## camilo borja (Feb 26, 2014)

the talkative ones tend to do that. when they see that you're different from them, they bother you about it. even though you're not bothering them. i wish they wouldn't do that. but hey, they are who they are and i am who i am.


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## Zashlin (Dec 15, 2013)

Thanks for the responses! It really helps to know there's people who've had similar experiences like me. 

Update: I had a good thing in the same class today, and right when someone chose me this girl immediately said out loud "She talks?" So I just gave her a glare, rolled my eyes and went on saying my good thing. Actions speak louder than words right? 

And Zashlin is just a screen name lol


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## mr hoang (Aug 14, 2011)

I just say , I like to save it for when it counts. I think sometimes its not how much you say, but what you say that counts. Quality over quantity!


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## Anonymous45 (Feb 3, 2014)

I just look at them weird


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

This used to bother me, but not anymore. The people I surround myself with now don't say these things.


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## BAH (Feb 12, 2012)

I don't talk


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## EddieDee (Jan 13, 2014)

AnonTheAnonymous said:


> I don't talk


Same, I never talk. I will be presenting on Tuesday and nobody have even heard my voice yet.. hah. I will be nervous, but I want to do this, I need to get used it


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## Salvador Dali (Oct 26, 2013)

"Yeah and the sky is blue. Tell me something I don't know."


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## BassHead (Feb 8, 2014)

Basically I just give a smile and don't really respond. But usually it's not the person I'm talking to that mentions it, it's usually my parents that point it out if they're standing there...why in the world they feel the need to do that is beyond me, it just makes an otherwise normal conversation awkward.


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## Nessie91 (Jan 5, 2012)




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## Zephton (Jun 15, 2011)

I really hate this as well. I'm not quiet at all; with my friends, I'm pretty loud and always trying to crack a joke. In public and with people I'm uncomfortable with, I'll pretty much never talk unless someone starts a conversation with me first. It leaves a bad impression on people.


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## Nessie91 (Jan 5, 2012)

People with social anxiety are not so quiet once you get to know us. We just need to break the ice with people. Once that's done it gets easier from there. Once I've interacted with people a few times I feel more relaxed and at ease cause I know where I stand. 

Don't let comments like "you're so quiet" bother you. It's not the real you deep down.


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## saline (Feb 16, 2011)

Just say: 
''I'm just quiet, I guess. Must be my nature. Plus, I find really loud people who never shut up really really annoying!''


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## Cinch (Feb 11, 2014)

I get embarrassed when that happens, and really don't have it in me to say something snippy back. I just smile, nod, or say "I am."

Like many others here, I'm not all that quiet around people I'm comfortable with. I even sometimes talk until I feel stupid for talking just _that much_.


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## Mittens76 (Feb 12, 2014)

I have been told that I am quiet a lot, the only problem I have is that the people who say it seem to want a reply to their comment and I have no idea what to say. I usually say "yep"


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## MajorGravy (Mar 15, 2014)

Yeah Happens to me occasionally. They also say I've been under the radar lol. I guess I try to keep a low profile but I'd still like to be somewhat outgoing and make new friends. Anxiety sucks!


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