# Got an email back from girl I asked out



## alex999 (Oct 21, 2008)

A little while ago I made a thread about how I was going to ask out this girl I knew from one of my classes. Long story short I didn't ask her on the last day of class and just emailed her. Well I finally got a reply.

For her privacy I'm just going to paraphrase what she said, but it was like

*"I think I did good on the final. How did you do? I'd really like to hang out but I'm going on vacation to [another state] and wont be back until next monday. Sorry, maybe another time."*

I sent her an email back and just basically said "I think I did pretty well on the final, have fun on your vacation. If you're still up to hanging out sometime after break go ahead and email me."

Part of me is elated that I finally did it, I asked a girl out for the first time in my life, but another part of me is wondering what this means. I don't know if I got rejected or not.

If she said "I'd *really *like to hang out" that must be encouraging, right? But then on the other hand "Sorry, *maybe *another time" sounds like "no." I'd like to know how you guys interpret this.

I have to add that I thought I was getting pretty good vibes from her and she seemed fairly interested in me. Started conversations with me and we talked just about every day.

Nonetheless, it's a triumph. I actually asked a girl out. But again I don't really know how to interpret her email. In all reality I'm probably just going into OCD mode and over analyzing everything. Maybe somebody here could fill me in. The female mind is confusing to me, haha.


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## Cyrus (Oct 25, 2009)

My thoughts are, she does indeed want to hang out with you, but the maybe part suggests to me that it isn't her top priority for her and something she'd want to do when she's got plenty of free time instead of rushing into making arrangements. Just my thoughts anyway. Keep us posted!


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## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

It's hard, but try not to overanalyze the situation. Good for you!!! :clap


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## popeet (Dec 8, 2005)

yeah :clap well done. i like that you said



> "If you're still up to hanging out sometime after break go ahead and email me"


and left the door open. it shows emotional security and i think that's attractive.


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## Salus (Feb 27, 2011)

The female mind is confusing you!!! Male minds are the hard ones to understand. Lol.

I think only time will tell because her message can be taken either way.

Congratulations on getting the nerve to ask her out though


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Yeh it doesn't sound like a sure thing in the least, but congrats nonetheless. It's a good step into getting used to asking girls out. It definitely gets easier as you do it more and more, as long as you can deal with any rejection. I wouldn't have put the onus on her to contact you back, however; chances are she will forget and never do so. You should have just waited and tried once more, maybe a couple days after she got back from vacation. If she said yes, great. If she said no you know for sure where you stand and you can drop it and move on. Now you've given her all the power. You want to come across as confident and comfortable with asking girls out...so let's just say she was going some place obviously really awesome, something better to say may have been, "Wow that vacation sounds incredibly boring! Don't be too jealous but I'll be doing X, Y and Z (list some really boring things as a joke). You seem like a fun person though so I'm sure you'll make the best of it. I'll send you an email you when you come back, you can bore me to death with all the details =)" (smiley face so she knows you're kidding). Then wait a few days after she comes back to build up some anticipation and not seem like you're desperate, then email her. Try to get her number first and ask her out on the phone, that's ideal.

Whew...talk about overanalyzing...anyways - who knows what will happen, so good luck and good job!


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## alex999 (Oct 21, 2008)

rymo said:


> I wouldn't have put the onus on her to contact you back, however; chances are she will forget and never do so.


I don't know, it's not like I emailed a random stranger off some dating site. I know her fairly well and I'd assume that by now she has on opinion on whether she likes me or not. I'm sure if she really was interested I'd get an email back. I just don't want to look like I have desperate nice guy syndrome or something. I guess there's a fine line between being too forward (desperate) and being not aggressive enough (and risk being friend-zoned).

I guess this was a good stepping stone though. Asking a girl out in person doesn't seem too scary now. Next time my goal will be to ask someone out face to face.


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## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

alex999 said:


> I don't know, it's not like I emailed a random stranger off some dating site. I know her fairly well and I'd assume that by now she has on opinion on whether she likes me or not. I'm sure if she really was interested I'd get an email back. I just don't want to look like I have desperate nice guy syndrome or something, heh.


Yeah, I think your response to her was perfect. It's friendly to her and you can feel that you didn't sound too needy.


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## alex999 (Oct 21, 2008)

bluedragon said:


> you never really know what some1 is thinking, sounds like it's mutual..or maybe she's trying to be nice,how can we kno


That's the problem with email, you can't tell their tone of voice.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Which is why I mentioned phone was better. In fact, if you are planning to ask someone out you should try to get communications to the phone as soon as possible. It is much more intimidating, of course, but it is WAY better in getting to know someone and them getting to know you.

I _don't_ think your response was perfect with the intentions that you have (after all, who couldn't improve when it comes to dealing with women? The sky is the limit), but I'm certainly not criticizing - you still did a great job.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

alex999 said:


> The female mind is confusing to me, haha.


I'm 40 yrs old & have been with the same woman for 16 of those yrs. If you figure it out let me know...:roll


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## alex999 (Oct 21, 2008)

rymo said:


> Which is why I mentioned phone was better. In fact, if you are planning to ask someone out you should try to get communications to the phone as soon as possible. It is much more intimidating, of course, but it is WAY better in getting to know someone and them getting to know you.


I definitely agree with you. If you read my original thread I built up the courage to ask her in person but I bailed out at the last second, and it felt absolutely terrible. I didn't really want to email her, it felt kind of strange, but I just felt like I had nothing to lose.


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