# Attractive and unattractive traits



## Fenn (Jun 4, 2015)

Was going through the turn ons and turn offs thread and started wondering what other people would think about themselves concerning this. What are some positive traits about yourself that are turn ons for people and what are some negative traits about your self that are turn offs for people? Mine would be:

positives: hygienic, pretty chill, deep thinker, short (no guy will ever beat my 5' self lol), pretty eyes, plays video games

negatives: don't trust many people, atheist, cuss like a sailor, little overweight, lazy, not a good conversationalist


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## indiscipline (May 24, 2015)

Positives: I cook.

Negatives: I only cook for myself.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

positive: nice

Negatives: ugly, small, demented, passive, shy, social anxiety, coward, dumb, crude, low class, uncut, phimosis, weak, short, deadbeat, no career ambition, boring, don't talk, quiet, push over, scared, crybaby, plays wow, no friends, no social status, negative, lazy, hates work, lives with parents, works a **** job, introverted, and much much more.....


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I think the positives could also be negatives to some people though:

positives: Quirky, somewhat imaginative, I'm fairly flexible in terms of interests. Many stereotypically extroverted and introverted activities are fun to me (or could be, but never had the opportunity to try some things,) 

negatives:

envious, bitter, whiny, irritable, moody - prone to lots of mood swings, sensitive, low self esteem, easily annoyed, argumentative (I've actually gotten less argumentative though, compared to how I was that is,) aggressive, usually unmotivated, bad at expressing emotions and flirting.

Yes, I am taking your turn offs and finding places to slot them into my personality, thank you for enquiring.

I'm such an awful person lmao, but the best/worst part is I know it. Most people don't, you know?

edit: I've only included personality traits for the most part there's a lot more negatives I could list.


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

negative: slowly turning into a potato

positive: slowly turning into a potato


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## Genos (Dec 17, 2014)

positives : decent looking, not overweight, i can cook & clean and stuff, somewhat optimistic
negatives : short, neurotic, awkward, boring, obsessive, very jealous, lazy, somewhat pessimistic


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## Cmasch (Jan 24, 2015)

Positives: Good listener, versed in a lot of different topics, can be funny sometimes, I try to cut out negativity, I'm supportive.

Negatives: Sometimes I can be very irritable, teeth aren't the greatest because of problem when I was younger"getting them fixed soon", I'm very quiet at first, if people make it past this stage, I get more extroverted when I'm close to people


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

This all seems very subjective.

(yes, I am captain obvious. ntmu)


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

Pros: patient, great bjs, nice, quiet, likes pets, decent economic sense, gamer

Cons: quiet, boring, plain looks, less than adequate cook, low intelligence, less than average fashion sense, business comes first, gamer, piss poor baker, no college degree, cat person, perfectionist, trust issues, doesn't excersise, not a party person, introverted, over thinker, hairy, nail-biter, pro-abortionist, "Catholic"/agnostic, migraine sufferer, loves horror movies, lives with parents, interested in palaeontology (dinosaurs), watches documentraries for fun and enjoys them, doesn't have a proper job, memory issues, doesn't wear makeup, pessimist... And probably a lot lot more.

Op said what would be turn ons and turn offs for people. I thought he ment other people. Not just ourselves.
The cons are a mix of things I hate about myself and reasons people have declined me on dating sites.


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## Fenn (Jun 4, 2015)

TicklemeRingo said:


> This all seems very subjective.
> 
> (yes, I am captain obvious. ntmu)


True, true, true. Though now that I'm looking at the replies, I guess some people have unintentionally complimented each other (or insulted lol). Like I thought being a gamer was a positive but Skeletra thought it was a negative. Or how I thought being short was a positive while Touka thought it was a negative based on different reasoning. How did everyone decide what traits were negative/positive? Was it off your own opinions of yourself or what you've heard other people say are positives and negatives?


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## Fenn (Jun 4, 2015)

Fenn said:


> Like I thought being a gamer was a positive but Skeletra thought it was a negative.


She said both positive and negative now that I look back at it, but still curious behind that reasoning as well. Also, what made you guys factor in those specific things? Are they things you hear a lot or just something you associate yourself with on a regular basis?


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

Negatives: ugly and trans

Positives: pretty much irrelevant (see above)

.....

On the plus side, being undateable means I have plenty of time to focus on my career. Which means I can get rich. Which means I can get fat. Which means my cats will be well fed for at least a week when I die alone in my house of a myocardial infarction. They'll probably even make me some kind of cat saint.



> _Saint Davia. She will be missed, for she was tasty._


I might even get that on my tombstone.

But now I'm worried people might get the wrong impression. I mean, they probably won't know that I was eaten by my cats unless they're up to date on their hagiography.


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

positive: have a job, cute. baby blue eyes that you can get lost in.

negative: ignorant, stupid, lack common sense, anything in that realm.


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## Mentalhead (Oct 7, 2011)

Pros: Nice, likes to make others feel good, smart, good (weird) friend I guess.

Cons: Misanthropic, crude, cold, doesn't like going out, judgmental, bitter, melancholic, clingy at times, low self-esteem, avoids social situations, socially crippled, too static, loner.


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## LolaViola (Jun 23, 2013)

Positives: compassionate, open-minded, good sense of humor

Negatives: insecure, boring, impatient, can be easily annoyed, shy, extremely introverted, sensitive, weak, jealous, etc.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Positive: I'm halfway responsible and can hold down a job as well as manage my finances. I'm decent looking although that is starting to dissipate. I'm very very affectionate and have no problem laying in bed and cuddling all day.

Negative: Anxious disposition, paranoid, and mistrustful. Extremely boring. Prone to bouts of depression and moodiness at least once a week. I have a hard time keeping things organized, such as planning things and keeping my place clean and I panic and get confused over everything. My mind is total chaos and always jumping from one subject to the next. I'm always trying to put on an act of confidence and normalcy so I don't appear as someone who belongs in a mental institution.


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## SaladDays (Nov 26, 2013)

positive: Generally open-minded, considerate, objective, flexible in terms of interests, able to adapt myself to different groups of people to an extent, willing to try new things, truthful, straightforward, I can be commited to a certain activity, ideology, person etc. but still be reasonable, or I can take a more casual approach

negative: very ugly (about 2/10) (this includes things like being short, scrawny, sh*t-tier face etc.) ; often negative (yet able to contain it to reasonable amounts), depressed, insecure, unintelligent, untidy, inefficient, boring, lazy, sometimes jealous

I can't believe I got more lines out in the "positive" section than the negative, but I suppose it depends more on what the qualities are rather than how many they are?



Skeletra said:


> Pros: great bjs.


We have a winner :lol ? All we need to do now is find you a wiener ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


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## Raeden (Feb 8, 2013)

Positive:
- Objective
- Moderately open-minded
- Laid-back
- Not easily offended
- Willing to try new things
- Educated

Negative:
- No interests/Boring/No personality
- Overly sarcastic
- Unfunny/Bad sense of humor
- Depressing
- Insecure
- Messy
- Socially awkward
- Almost no knowledge of geography, history, politics, or really anything outside of science/math/engineering

TIL why nobody likes me. </3


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

SaladDays said:


> We have a winner :lol ? All we need to do now is find you a wiener ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Hehe, I already got one :b.
I hope they isn't the only reason he still sees me though :/.

A little question to all of you who have longer lists of negative traits than positive ones. Do you have a significant other? Do you some times feel like they're doing a mistake?


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

positives: Funny and a quirky sense of humor, very inquisitive about the world and wants to know how the world works and why people act the way they do, very intelligent and the ability to think outside the box, a very nice, understanding and easy going person willing to give others the benefit of the doubt. I rarely talk bad about others I try to understand their problems and point of view. I am proportionate for my size and I like sports, video games, and music. Plays pretty good guitar. 

negatives: Bad 1 on 1 people skills, others often see me as immature and impulsive and would rather joke around then take things seriously, (Although I am more mature then I used to be) around guys I know I often say stupid random things that make people think i'm weird, and around girls I freeze up and become very unnatural. A hard time flirting and understanding the rules and concepts of dating because I have never dated before. I'm also very short (only 5 ft 2) and only average looks in addition to having Aspergers which explains my social skills deficits and awkward demeanor. I'm very shy around girls I like. In real life, it takes a great amount of courage for me to even walk up and talk to a girl even if she shows interest in me. The inability to pull the trigger and ask a girl for her number or ask her out because of intense fear.


The bottom line is that i'm a quirky guy with a lot of talents and i'm pretty funny and intelligent but my social skills challenges in addition to my shyness and awkwardness around women will never let them see how cool of a guy I really am.


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## Fenn (Jun 4, 2015)

xxDark Horse said:


> negatives: Bad 1 on 1 people skills, others often see me as immature and impulsive and would rather joke around then take things seriously, (Although I am more mature then I used to be) around guys I know I often say stupid random things that make people think i'm weird, and around girls I freeze up and become very unnatural. *A hard time flirting and understanding the rules and concepts of dating because I have never dated before.* I'm also very short (only 5 ft 2) in addition to having Aspergers which explains my social skills deficits and awkward demeanor. I'm very shy around girls I like. In real life, it takes a great amount of courage for me to even walk up and talk to a girl even if she shows interest in me.


I can relate. I don't even understand how people even begin how to learn flirting. I feel like I would end up looking like an idiot if I tried anyway.


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## sociallydiseased (Jan 5, 2013)

Positive: Kind, handsome (so I've been told, hehe), stable lifestyle, spontaneous, musician, writer, sailor, thirst for knowledge, desire to please, strong sense of family and loyalty, shy

Negative: BPD, ability to change my opinion on important things in the span of a day, distant, quick to anger, self-destructive, insecure


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

Fenn said:


> I can relate. I don't even understand how people even begin how to learn flirting. I feel like I would end up looking like an idiot if I tried anyway.


I think that's the problem. People are too scared around someone they like, they're afraid that the person they like doesn't like them back so they're too scared to flirt.


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## losthismarbles (Jul 5, 2014)

Negatives: 
I get very depressed being alone, I'm useless when I'm alone, I get too emotional, I'm difficult to get close to emotionally always trying to keep people at a distance, I hate myself, I find it difficult to keep friends for very long, I have trouble paying attention, I get very random sometimes, It can take a lot of effort to start doing something, I have trouble going outside, I don't look good, when I get too depressed I get pessimistic, I'm easily hurt emotionally, low self esteem, I say stupid things impulsively sometimes, I haven't gone to college, the list goes on of course but I'll stop here. 


Positives:
I would do anything for a friend in trouble, If I have someone I trust with me I'm fearless and energetic, playful, usually nice, trustworthy to friends, caring, eager to please, when I can get myself to start doing work I'm hard working, open minded, carefree at heart, interested in people.


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## Surly Wurly (May 9, 2015)

positives - odour of chrysanthemums

negatives - I rely on the witch in the wardrobe


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## SD92 (Nov 9, 2013)

Positives: Tall

Negatives: Social Anxiety, Boring, Little Life Experiance, Avoidant, Virgin, Too Introverted for most people, Friendless, Unambitious, Low Self Esteem, No Confidence.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

Positives: I'm awesome.

Negatives: I'm unnoticed, yes, like a ninja...

Edit: Yeah!


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## Bonfiya (Jan 19, 2015)

Positives: I have good taste when it comes to perfume.

Negatives:

I won't list my negatives because the positives obviously outweigh the negatives by far so there's really no point. We'll just leave it at this. Hmm


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## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

Positives: Good history with employment, conscious of progressing in different areas of life (driven by my need to keep up with my more successful siblings, so that might be a negative?), humor sometimes, nice, I'm clean whether it's hygiene or living space, I'm super creative though it doesn't amount to anything productive but I'd for sure write a half decent song about you, and last but far from least I can make the best omelet you've ever had in your life, guaranteed.

Negative: I'm ultra insecure about everything, even things that I understand aren't rational but I'll still make you roll your eyes with how low my self-esteem is, not even the omelet will make up for it. I'm not a very motivated person. I'm probably extremely boring as a strong homebody and introvert. I'll be shy and quiet around your family if you have a few siblings, it happens every time, and it's embarrassing. I think my ex gfs would have plenty to add here, but this is pretty much what I think.


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## francisarsenic (May 28, 2015)

gopherinferno said:


> negative: slowly turning into a potato
> 
> positive: slowly turning into a potato


:laugh:


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## River In The Mountain (Jun 6, 2011)

Pros: Funny, creative, good cook, intelligent, intuitive, pretty (apparently), loyal, nature lover, adventurous, give great massages.

Negatives: I have an extremely short attention span at times which drives people insane. I listen intently then suddenly switch off because I get bored. I tend to want a lot of space at random times. Far too introspective. I obsess over random things like cellular structures, disease epidemics, unsolved mysteries, head transplants, stem cells, properties of the spinal chord, stars... yep. I can come across as macabre at times. I joke around too much, laugh at things that other people don't find funny.Too unpredictable. Stories about loyal dogs who have passed away make me cry every time.


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## batman can (Apr 18, 2007)

Why do girls put short as a negative? Guys arguably prefer short girls.


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## Fenn (Jun 4, 2015)

batman can said:


> Why do girls put short as a negative? Guys arguably prefer short girls.


I think it's just the stigma of tall women looking beautiful in the media. Like how American models are always super tall. I put short as a positive for myself because I know guys usually like that sort of thing and I'm so short that shorter guys wouldn't have a problem being taller than me.


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## LotusBloom (May 30, 2015)

I noticed some of you put boring as a negative. I've read some of your guys' posts in the past and think you guys are interesting or very silly. You guys aren't as boring as you think you are.

Also, there's nothing wrong with being an Atheist or religious. People who are offended by that are usually closed-minded.

And there's nothing wrong with obsessing about diseases, unsolved mysteries, crying at loyal dogs, and such. Being passionate about something is a turn-on for many people.

What's wrong with not wearing make-up?

I know these are all of your opinions, but still...

You guys are more desirable than you think.


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## givinganonion (Sep 15, 2014)

Positive: I enjoy learning and working on myself, I like being constructive about criticism, I at least have a job for now and more opportunities, I'm in grad school, my sense of humor shows sometimes, I take Christianity seriously and see kindness, openness, and personal discipline as essential to that, I'm thin, I'm a bit tall, and I've built up some intellectual understanding. I've also made strong progress since I started working on myself when I was 17 and think I'm headed in a good direction.

Negative: I'm too caught up in my own head, and can miss out on who and what's around me. I often forget things. My knowledge is more intellectual and moral than cultural or day-to-day, like about manual work and stuff to do. I'm terribly indecisive, and often want to 'go with the flow' or put off personal responsibilities. I often overestimate people's qualities and become afraid that they hold me in contempt, and then want to put up defenses or withdraw, although I don't prolong conflicts or get into spite. Because I see what's most important to me as controversial and involved in dealing with my personal weaknesses, I'm very shy about that and don't like to be forward, and am afraid of saying something wrong or being deceived. I don't allow myself to be content with what I do and feel pressured to backtrack often. I've long had the assumption that I either have to be the best and the leader, or not good enough. I compare myself to others too much. I don't sleep enough, which is at least partially caused by often keeping up very harsh thoughts about myself and my situation that I don't settle. I'm physically pretty weak and don't clean well. I think I present myself as too intense and look down often. I've prepared myself much more for crisis situations than having fun and developing practical skills.


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## Bizarre (Jan 21, 2014)

0 Positives : Great sense of humor, compassionate, emphatic, talented, creative, loves God, educated, cute, good listener, cooks, friendly, 

> Negatives: impatient, over-thinker, too logical, sarcastic,


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## noctilune (Jun 8, 2015)

Con - I'm not for everyone.
Pro - I'm not for everyone.


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

Positives: Tall, good sense of style, emotionally intelligent/understanding compared to the average person (I guess sensitive would be the closest term), above average face when I'm not wearing glasses and my hair looks okay, supportive, respectful, honest, willing to talk through problems, reasonably positive and solution oriented for someone with depression (I won't bring my partner down as much because of my issues, which I guess can be seen as a positive), not controlling

Negatives: A little too tall, not very academically intelligent, lazy, unmotivated, insecure and jealous, not in ideal shape, I can't do white lies in relationships, everything has to be honest with me, take things too fast if I'm really into someone, too slow if not or if the other person seems to want something casual, sarcastic sense of humor, not very big where it matters, forgetful, a little tactless, not family oriented (can be a problem for some people, e.g. those who expect me to have a great relationship with their parents), don't want children (problem with the surprising amount of people my age with children in my area)


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## Furiosa (Jun 2, 2015)

Positives: Trained chef and massage therapist (what more could you ask for?), well dressed, a good host, educated, youthful looks, toned body, easily pleased, polite, very reliable, always willing to help a friend in need, attractive blue eyes

Negatives: Quiet, very shy around new people, aprehensive about trying new things, might be perceived by some as being emotionally aloof / distant, gullible, very set in my ways, easily led, anxious disposition


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## indielife (Jun 17, 2015)

Positives: Not quite sure. 

Negatives: Everything.


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## nothing else (Oct 27, 2013)

negatives: short, midget-like, skinny, tiny wrists, big round face, long crooked nose, dark circles under eyes, heavy eyelids, bushy unibrow, terrorist looking, ugly hair, non-symmetrical, squinty eyes, dwarfy looking legs, shy, boring, non-talkative, pushover, bland, stupid, creepy, weird, not athletic, can't do normal things, no job, not independent, no friends.

positives: short and ugly


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## 0blank0 (Sep 22, 2014)

indiscipline said:


> Positives: I cook.
> 
> Negatives: I only cook for myself.


I don't know why this made me laugh so :lol


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## 0blank0 (Sep 22, 2014)

Positive: nice

Negative: not so nice


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## SaneKitty (Oct 27, 2013)

x


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## a degree of freedom (Sep 28, 2011)

Positives: tall, independent, helpful, rational, somewhat athletic, outdoorsy, optimistic

Negatives: not muscular, not funny, not creative, low self-esteem, solitary, poor memory, emotional, not emotional, not good looking



Raeden said:


> - Almost no knowledge of geography, history, politics, or really anything outside of science/math/engineering


Ok that's pretty awesome actually


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## Araminta (Apr 10, 2014)

positive: can fly, can break open robots 

negative: gets upset if asked to break open robots too much at one time. wants to eat my ice cream cone


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

Positives: Kind, honest, decent -> good looking, smart, funny, good problem solver, responsible, great worker, independent, sensitive, sense of humor, love cats, children love me, no enemies, like to snuggle, I don't really care about my 'negatives'

Negatives: No friends, don't get out much, annoying/pest-y at times, routine-oriented, despise crowds, diabetes, can't grow a good mustache


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## indiscipline (May 24, 2015)

felicshagrace said:


> I don't know why this made me laugh so :lol


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## Quirky (Jul 27, 2014)

Positives: Intelligent, likes and plays video games, attentive listener, polite, open-minded, tolerant, pretty-boy looks, blonde hair, green eyes, genetically skinny (impossible to get fat), likes to read, mostly good health, educated, unintimidating, nerdy, compassionate.

Negatives: Asperger's and all the baggage that comes with the package, possibly creepy, cannot seem to obtain muscle, shy, social anxiety, 5'8", genetically skinny, quiet, possibly aloof and reserved demeanor, bad and out-of-touch sense of humor, sometimes too serious, whiny at times, have difficulty with eye contact, unemployed, below average physical strength, and perhaps my case of clinical paranoia.


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## Raeden (Feb 8, 2013)

senkora said:


> Ok that's pretty awesome actually


What? How is it awesome to be ignorant? x_x


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## Grog (Sep 13, 2013)

Positives - can't be any otherwise I'd have friends 

Negatives - must be a lot due to the fact that I have no friends


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## MetroCard (Nov 24, 2013)

Positive: everything i guess? having a job
Negative: talks too much, dirty.

I've never dated anyone so i haven't had much standards


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## a degree of freedom (Sep 28, 2011)

Raeden said:


> What? How is it awesome to be ignorant? x_x


I just thought they were cool things you did know about. I think people know more about things that are interesting to them and less about things that are less so and maybe people who like to know all sorts of things but still have to choose will call themselves ignorant because of the distance between what they know and would like to. It's just how I thought about it. Doesn't make it right. But in that case a feeling of ignorance is in truth an entirely different quality. I could relate to your interests at least so I was high fivin


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## normalsucksbutsodoesSA (Apr 2, 2015)

My moods are extreme. Not in the sense that I can change moods in a flash. But

If I'm feeling good:
positives: a genius if feeling happy or confident. great looking i guess. pretty tall 6'0. SA is almost gone. I'm weird, not sure if that's good or bad. very hard to anger, but i won't take your s***. If I'm feeling good I basically can get people excited, can destroy people in anything competitively (games, sports, chess, debates, haha you name it), can be the life of the party, huge self esteem, can approach girls easily. And I remember how great my life is and all the cool things I've done.

negative: uhh, when I'm feeling stressed, anxious or depressed I'm the opposite. I can still think well and function but I start doubting myself a lot and I become scared of everything. My self esteem goes to zero and I start feeling inferior of everyone. I can't approach girls for the life of me and start conversations with people. I stumble on my words and feel a bit of my anxiety come back. I don't want to leave my room. I lose my appetite and I feel like nobody loves me. I become like a broken shell of the person I am when I don't feel anything or when I'm feeling happy. It sucks


tl;dr my attractiveness is entirely dependent on my mood


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## UndreamingAwake (Apr 11, 2011)

Yeah, let's spit shine that ego a little bit. And then puke all over it again!

Positives: 
- I have a pretty high emotional intelligence. 
- Overall a decent head on my shoulders in terms of both intelligence and looks. Of course the latter is in the eye of the beholder; I've had women go "eeeeewww" and I've had women go "aaaaaahh". 
-I _can_ be fun to hang out with if I'm in a good mood, we share interests and are both passionate about it, and we click on a deeper level. 
- Caring and protective of those close to me. 
- Honest and faithful, even if you don't deserve it... Not because I'm deathly afraid of losing someone, but because I believe certain things are worth fighting for rather than using it as a disposable product. 
- I have a wide range of interests, albeit most of them are in the "geeky" department.

Negatives: 
- I can be very moody to the point of being brooding sometimes. Never without reason though.
- Insecurities as a result of having been bullied pretty much all my life.
- Apparently people love to misunderstand me and often seem to think I'm an arsehole, whether it be simply from the angry neutral look on my face or because I am straightforward with my opinions.
- Just plain weird sometimes.
- Don't and don't want to understand the way the current dating scene works. In fact, I despise the consumerist attitude people apply to it, so it feels like I have to dig for needles in a haystack. 
- My honesty can turn into bluntness.
- Yes, I'm shy at first. Deal with it.

Positive/Negative depending on the person: 
- I'm a very spiritual person. Not everyone appreciates that. 
- Not a fan of going out to "party" at all.
- I drink very little alcohol.


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

Pros: Dumb, easy to please, not clingy, completely dependable, doggedly loyal.





Cons: Dumb, overweight, completely predictable, unadaptable, ugly, profoundly nihilistic, messy, no skills domestic or otherwise, irregularly employed, awkward, generally unappealing body, excessive body hair, total lack of experience with just about everything, poor capacity for learning, gives off the impression of being brain-dead.







All that said, a lot of my negatives I don't find negative in others. I like flaws and oddballs.


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