# Worried I'll be single forever :'-(



## Neurosurgeon (Jan 12, 2013)

So, it's been my dream to someday be a wife and a mother, but I'm 18 and have never had a date - rather guys (and actually people in general) avoid me like the plague. It is EXTREMELY depressing. :-(
Reason why I am uncertain that I will ever find anyone is that I am very weird (everyone tells me this). I am very nerdy (love learning, get good marks, plan to be a neurosurgeon and am making good progress), don't watch TV or movies (so I have no clue what people are talking about half the time), listen to classical music and opera - hate modern music - it gives me headaches and I don't understand how people can like it, don't watch sports or do them - I can't even bike, swim, skate, or skii... never did it.... When people meet me they soon find these things out and after avoid me...
Also, I have the world's WORST social skills... I didn't have any friends till grade 9 and my one good friend (who I've had since grade 9) is soon leaving the city I'm in... so I will soon be utterly alone. I have a peculiarity in that I am incapable of recognizing faces (prosopagnosia) and can't read facial expressions very well (I still have lots of capacity for empathy though!!). I also don't get things like sarcasm and often say things that are weird or even inappropriate (e.g. inuendos) without knowing it.
In general, I am shy but on the rare occasions when someone actually talks to me I get very excited and somehow spook them off.
I've been told I'm weird, innocent, naive, crazy, etc. Also, I've been told that I'm ugly (and even before that I've believed that) - it's not that I'm fat or anything... just not graced with good looks or elegance.
Also, please no advice about getting a hobby - I have tons - I compose music, I'm in some musical ensembles (serious viola player) and draw and read books.
So, any advice? I've had so many crushes on guys but they have never liked me back (I never know this until I find out that they start dating another girl). Also, I'm scared of dating sites so please don't advise that either. And no, I cannot accept my loneliness...
Please someone help??? I'm really desperate to eventually find a nice guy who will accept me for who I am (I've tried to pretend to be someone I'm not - it didn't work and also made me feel awful)


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## ricardo (Apr 8, 2011)

*Hello*

You sound interesting. I am also interested in the neuroscience fields. Would you like to have a conversation? Prosopognosia, huh? I hear that Oliver Sacks is also face-blind; do you know of him?


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

how do u know that they didnt like u just because they started dating another girl... theres plenty of girls i have liked but never approached cause i thought that i would be rejected... next time u get a crush say hi... who knows it might lead to something big


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## DiscardedHeart (Dec 29, 2012)

I don't want to grow old being single too. It's depressing if I come to think of it.


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## gokuchato22 (Dec 29, 2012)

hey im a nice guy


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## Stigma (Jan 7, 2013)

There are people out there who will find you appealing, just don't act like somebody you're not and be open with your interests. Have faith and confidence and the right one will come to you


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## pondedward (Jan 8, 2013)

I think no one like to be single or alone forever, I believe that there are someone who is really destined for us. Sometimes we need to wait patiently or we can lower our standards and socialize with other people


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## kuhan1923 (Oct 28, 2012)

Guys don't know what they're missing tbh. I think you'll find guys going for you more and more with age tho, if you're willing to be patient that is. But you're on the right path! 

Neurosurgeon sounds really cool btw =)


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## AxeDroid (Jan 11, 2013)

Hell, you sound interesting all over, but hey that's just me. I too feel like i'm going to be single forever(maybe as punishment). But hey cheer up, stay the course and you might get to meet that person soon. Also, I can't bike either, not really something i'm ashame to say. Sure, people tend to laugh out loud but maybe i'm just wating to learn with that special person. Gl to you future love life.


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## 111 (Jan 11, 2013)

You'll never be single as long as you have god aside you.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I wouldn't listen to bad comments like that - they are just hatin' and that is on them, not you.

Positive self-talk is the way to go on this one.


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## silentk (Apr 22, 2012)

Remember that you can't rely on being in a relationship to make you happy! Yes, relationships are beautiful and have the ability to make you happy, but you can't think that that's the only thing you're missing in life.

Focus on friendships! Friendships are so much more important (and who knows? Maybe it'll turn into something more someday)! 

I've never dated either, but I've been focusing on who am I and what I'd like in a boyfriend and a relationship. It's so much more important to find yourself first - that way, you can know what you'd like in a future husband. Remember, you're just 18 - don't say you're going to be alone forever, because you're just starting out in the world! 

And since you posted this in Spiritual Support - pray for God to send you the right person. He'll take care of you.


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## inerameia (Jan 26, 2012)

You sound unique, non-conforming, that's not bad. Most people tend to like people they can relate to, i.e. following the crowd. That means you're not following the crowd... that's good though, because you're unique. Don't worry what people think... I think that's interesting; I like to learn too, and I don't like most music of today. There are people who can relate to you, you're not alone. Also, slientk makes very good points. Friendships would be better to start out with rather than going straight into searching for a husband... but asking God for help to guide your life is a good idea.

Feel free to talk to me


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## JMaria06 (Dec 26, 2012)

You sound unique for your age! I can relate to you. I'm interested in going into medicine, specifically pediatric oncology, am into classical music, and have never actually dated a guy. Crushed on one guy for years, and still am, but I've been friendzoned. Regardless, I believe that everyone will find their match, so, so will you. You seem like a very cultured individual and in college, you're exposed to a whole new group of people. You'll find people to relate to, especially when you go specialize in your field of study. Just continue doing what you're doing. Don't hide your personality away. Be proud of it. =)


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## max87 (Aug 7, 2010)

You sound quite fascinating. I can relate to certain things you do and like, for instance, even though i like modern music, most of the music i listen to nobody else does. 
It's even worse when it comes to jazz music, no one hears jazz music. I moved form my hometown and left the only two friends i ever made, still in contact with them, though. 
Not very interested in medicine (don't have the stomach for that) but i am quite interested in politics and literaure, so i can't have a conversation with most of my classmates because they don't know what i am talking about. I play guitar. I read a lot. And i am an only child so the idea of being single for the rest of my life terrifies me since i don't have no one to rely on, i have few cousins and they are way older than me, with family and things to do like to hang out with me or something. 
IMO you sound like a young genius, maybe you should have gone to one of those schools for people with high IQ, maybe you could have fit in there, IDK.


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## foreverlearning (Jan 24, 2013)

You are not going to like what I've to say and unfortunately I don't have any remedies for you, but please listen. You are only 18, and I'm going to say what I wish someone told me when I was 18. You are just starting out, you've a long life ahead of you, you've identified the problem, so start taking steps to fix it. You are going to meet tonnes of people in the future especially during rotations and residency, as a doctor you need to have good bedside manners, so start making friends, if you wait, it will be much more difficult and the stakes will be higher. You could try

1. Start a blog, you are smart, well read, I'm sure you've things to write about, write about music, neuro science, etc. You never know but maybe someone will visit your blog and will be mesmerized by your writing, or it could help you with your college application.
2. I know you don't want to get a new hobby, but take on something, a zumba fitness or yoga, you mentioned skiing, so I assume you are near some ski resort, you should definitely try skiing, one good thing about skiing is once you learn the basics you can ski all by yourself.
3. Join a book club

I found this link recently and its good advice
http://zackshapiro.com/post/22010015010/9-things-i-wish-someone-had-told-me-about-life-after


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

You sound like a very interesting person, with a lot to offer a girl. 

I know what you mean. I sometimes wonder if I'm be alone forever. But only God can control what happens in this life; nobody else can. 

I wish you the best!


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## CeresZal (Jan 26, 2013)

Heh.. i'm 27 and not once had i really experienced what it's like to be in a real relationship. I'm so hopeless :b
Then again, this is the anxiety speaking. I can relate to your worries. What you're experiencing might be also called relationship anxiety.
When you have self confidence, it wouldn't matter if someone likes you or not. You need to start with liking yourself first before someone else can like you. You don't sound like you're very good friends with yourself.
Others can't define you. Be that someone special which you already are and shine through that. The right people will come to you.


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## Illusiveman (Jan 30, 2013)

Nah man, you won't. As some already said, it's anxiety speaking. You're 18 at the moment, there's way more then enough time. Sit back, and relax. I've found the older I get, the more easier it gets to meet women (of all ages) and approach them - and that they approach me more as well. :yes

Relax and continue with your life as you would... I'm sure you're going to find someone - might be sooner then you expect.


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## GarySeven (Jan 25, 2013)

You can laugh at your old classmates when you become a neurosurgeon, while they are working at McDonald's or some call center. If you do get a boyfriend and kids anytime soon, forget about becoming a neurosurgeon. Based on your current situation, you could maybe find some loser who will at worst get you pregnant and leave, and at best stay with you and support all of you with some blue collar job. If you do actually become a neurosurgeon though, your chances of ending up in a good relationship are much, much higher.


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## BrookeHannigan (Mar 29, 2012)

Good looks issuch a diverse subject so is pretty or ugly
Evenwhen i was fat i still had guys chasing me :um
You say im not hlessed with good looks hut wtf does that mean
Everyone is ugly and attractive
Itll never be possible that every1 is gonna find tyou attractive same goes for ugly
Get out more anf work on your personality
Guys like a confident exrroverted girl
No one likes insecure people they are unattractive just because of that
Good luck


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## beothuck1 (Nov 16, 2010)

Trust me, you don't have to worry. You still are so young. I never went on my first date till I was 21 years old; never had a boyfriend until I was 22. If you didn't find someone till you were 25, there would still be time. My advice is to keep focusing on your school work and things that are important to you and you will find that you will find a boyfriend when you are ready. 

Good things come to those who wait and it will all fall into place. You just have to be patient and open, while not trying to force anything. I believed that I would never find someone for the longest time and then I forgot about it and stopped worrying about it and just went out and talked to people. 

Also, like a lot of other people are saying looks don't matter, especially when you are confident. Please don't say you are ugly, because that won't help you any. Know inside that you are a beautiful person and it will radiate on the outside. It doesn't matter what you look like, because beautiful or pretty is a relative term. People come in all shapes and sizes and that's the beauty of variety. Don't insult your creators by calling yourself ugly. In fact, I think it is almost selfish to refer to oneself as ugly; some people are born with facial deformities and it doesn't define them or make them ugly. 

A word of advice, be nice to everyone you meet (accordingly, you know what I mean), because you never know what it could lead to.


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