# Therapist might be rushing me to get over fear



## keithp (Mar 13, 2007)

My anxiety has prevented me from working or driving and I have no friends so I dont really have much fun. 

My therapist isnt concerned about the driving as much as the working being that has to due with SA. 

Its the 2nd visit and she already mentioned to look for places to work!  This smiley is exactly what I felt like at the time, i'm scared out of my mind now all I can think about is this its driving me crazy and my therapist said I am very stressed and need to calm down, but now she just made me more nervous instead of less we havent worked on any tips to improve my life yet all she mentioned is I need to work thats is.

I am not 100% if she will want me to try and work soon, or if she is just getting some information to go on for the future, we ran out of session time so I never got to actually ask. I dont want to work, well unless they can find something I can do from home and get good money for, then i'd be for it and ok with that. I think she wants me to work to help my social life, but here is my concerns.


Shouldnt therapy be slow and at my own pace, I thought it should be a few weeks ay least of just us talking, her giving me tips, mabye group therapy or her and I going out to a place in public as "exposure" therapy and her there to evaluate how I am in public, perhaps we go to a place I find fun, so it's therapy but I also would be happy actually with therapy instead of fearful. I have SA but I also need to have fun times in life too and I thought she'd be able to start with that for me and show me getting out can be fun not going straight to getting a job and skipping everything else.

Plus, and here's what is making things worse without me ever working. 

Being I dont drive, i'd have to take Public Transportation, one of those large buses at the bus stops. The one around here is right at the corner by my house, but in bad weather there is no booth to sit in, you have to stand outside and be exposed to the elements. The bus is dirty with stuck gum and spit, and there are questionable people on the bus, the next town over has people in a bad neighborhood with gangs and they go on this bus. I have no reason to ever want to go on that bus not even for therapy my parents wouldnt be caught dead going on that bus even! If a job for example starts at 11 am, and the bus only comes at 9 am, id have to go on the bus at 9, and stand outside my work place for 2 hours! I cant just sit inside for 2 hours and do nothing, especially if i'm working at opening hour and the store isnt even open! I will not wait outside just because a bus drops me off too early, no freakin way! The last part is being i'm on SSI I can only work part time and not make a large amount of money to support myself. The first session with my therapist I said my goal is to MOVE OUT of my parents house. If she wants me to work a job that will NOT allow me to make enough money to support myself and move out, why would I waste my time going through all that trouble (listed above) for minimum wage pay only to end up still living with my parents.

Hence, why working from home would spare me all this grief and id probably be able to work off the books and make more money.

Whats your opinions, do you think I have a good reason to be upset by all this?


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## nab3139 (Jan 5, 2012)

If you're going to her for social anxiety she's supposed to take it slow. If you go to work with high anxiety it's just going to make you want to quit. If you tell her next time you want to take it slow and she doesn't do that then maybe you should get a new therapist.


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## veron (Apr 29, 2009)

Lol. Dude, life is short. If your therapist might be "rushing you to get over fear," I'd say she's doing a pretty good job.


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## keithp (Mar 13, 2007)

veron said:


> Lol. Dude, life is short. If your therapist might be "rushing you to get over fear," I'd say she's doing a pretty good job.


But I feel worse now than before I started therapy, I haven't even talked about half my problems yet she is only going by the basic issues but other things are also affecting my life and in only 2 visits we haven't even gotten to discussing them yet. If she's going only by what she knows now then she doesn't know everything about me she needs to know and her treatment ideas aren't going to work and I'll just continue to get more stressed if my therapist doesn't listen to everything I need to say.


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## Mina84 (Jan 2, 2011)

Tell your therapist what you posted here. Tell her she has made you more nervous and that you want her to take it slow. If you don't tell her, how is she supposed to know? I don't think she is rushing you to get over your fears. She is testing how severe your SA is and expecting you to tell her why you don't want to work right now. She needs to know your thoughts and feelings. Having someone to force you to do things you otherwise would not do is always good. But exposure helps only when you have someone to help you replace your negative irrational thoughts with positive thoughts, without this, exposure can only reinforce your fears. 

Calm down, there are also jobs that start at 9am , so it's silly to worry about this kind of things when you don't even have a job. Just don't take any job that starts ealier or later. So, what is exactly preventing you from getting a part-time job? Are you afraid of applying for a job? Afraid of job interviews? I think that could a be a good point to start from. Apply for a job and don't put too much pressure on yourself, you don't have to get the job, just think of it as practice. Btw, why don't you let your parents teach you how to drive?

Another problem I see here is that you are placing unrealistic expectations on your therapist. She's not there to show you how to have fun, she's there to help you to overcome your fears. You said you can't move out because you won't be earning enough money. How is she supposed to help you with that? It has nothing to do with SA, she's a therapist, not your financial adviser. What kind of financial aid can you get instead? You should be informing yourself about that.


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