# The one a day challenge. :eek



## BachelorFrog (Jan 15, 2012)

The goal here is to talk to at least one girl a day to attack social phobia head on. This could include classmates, acquaintances, random strangers - anyone really. 

My goal isn't to 'pick-up' or get numbers (yet). Just to develop my conversation skills and combat social anxiety one day at a time.

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My SA isn't immobilizing or anything but I basically have no social life outside of school and work so if I do end up keeping the thread alive there should be some pretty funny/pathetic conversations up here.

Hopefully logging this here will be some kind of extra incentive to not wuss out. Others feel free to accept the challenge and post your experiences as well. (even failures, no holding back lol)


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## BachelorFrog (Jan 15, 2012)

Ok first try. It's reading week now so it'll be pretty slow for a while... anyways
There was a cute girl on the bus so I sat beside her. I saw she was reading a book on photography but for some reason I didn't bring that into conversation even though I had a photography class last semester.

I haven't held a meaningful conversation with a girl since high school so I was really struggling to say something. We arrived at a stop and many people got off to transfer to the express bus. She ended up breaking silence and asking me if the bus would still be going to ******. I said yeah, it will just take a bit longer since this isn't an express bus. 

She mentioned that she was staying over at her friend's place over the weekend or something. 

I was feeling pretty hot out of nervousness because the girl kept breaking silence, clearly some interest. I wish I was able to take the conversation further. I had to get off at my stop at this point though.

In the end, my anxiety was pretty strong but it felt a lot better than just sitting in an empty seat like I would have usually done.


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## BachelorFrog (Jan 15, 2012)

UPDATE 2: I couldn't help but try again after the bus thing. So while I was doing my work in the library I noticed a pretty girl sat in front of me. My head was literally going insane "Go! wait no, don't go... cmon bro do it!...etc,etc"

I ended up approaching cold out of nowhere and it went something like this:

Me: Hi, are you studying right now? (clearly on facebook)
Her: umm? (looking confused) Not really
Me: Where are you from? (had a french accent) Did you enjoy your long weekend?
Her: Oh, I'm an exchange student from Paris. 
Me: (****ting bricks from nervousness/people looking at me)
Her: Um yeah, I went to see the falls yesterday but it was too cold out.

Then her friend comes in randomly and they start speaking in french and i'm still in disbelief that I just initiated a conversation and I'm not dead etc...

But by now it was getting too awkward for me to speak with her so I left them to talk.


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## Wolfie (Feb 22, 2012)

This sounds like an awesome idea/goal.
I was just thinking last weekend about doing something like this but at the mall, or somewhere. Just going up to random people(mostly girls) and just ask if they can point me in the direction of a certain store or something. Easy ice breaker that you don't have to keep going very long and risk freezing up and not knowing what to say. Then after a while of getting use to approaching people, start trying to take the conversation to another level.
Good Luck!!


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## BachelorFrog (Jan 15, 2012)

Exactly^^ You learn a lot more about yourself too.

Despite this, today is a bust. I'm staying inside all day to finish up assignments.


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## calmdown (Feb 13, 2012)

great idea


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## stranger17 (Feb 16, 2012)

Good job standing up to your anxiety! I've thinking about doing this very same thing. Good to see that it works.


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## BachelorFrog (Jan 15, 2012)

Ok, today was a little different. I decided not to do any cold approaches due to focusing on mid-terms and stuff. However, I did make an effort to smile at passerby's if making eye contact (not in a creepy way lol).

So far I've had two conversations with women.

A cute cashier at the nutrition store. (asked some questions about creatine, somehow won a free protein bar in a contest, and generally tried to convey positive attitude.)

Two korean feminists approached me on the way back showing me verses of the bible trying to explain that God has two sides both male and female... this was weird at first and I just wanted to walk away lol. But instead I used it to practice eye contact and listening skills and a trick called "nouning" where you extract the nouns in their sentence and talk about something related to steer the conversation. Lasted about 10 mins which is longer than I am used to so I was kinda sweating by the end to be honest.


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## Mind in Flight (Feb 24, 2012)

I've tried to start this goal many times, but I chicken out every time :b

Good luck with your challenge!


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## BachelorFrog (Jan 15, 2012)

One of my big motivations are those joke pickup videos where the guys can literally say anything and somehow have a good interaction.


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## Wolfie (Feb 22, 2012)

Definitely keep us updated with your experiences. It's really cool to see someone else having success with something I've also thought about doing. I think it might actually give me the extra push to try it myself.

Who knows, after a while, up the ante and start trying to get numbers!:high5


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## BachelorFrog (Jan 15, 2012)

Wolfie said:


> Definitely keep us updated with your experiences. It's really cool to see someone else having success with something I've also thought about doing. I think it might actually give me the extra push to try it myself.
> 
> Who knows, after a while, up the ante and start trying to get numbers!:high5


Good luck!^^ Yeah I'd like others to post here too i'm starting to feel the burn.

I saw that girl on the bus again. I was really tired and there were only 4 people on the bus including me so it would have been odd if I just sat there (i know i'm rationalizing lol)... but anyways didn't end up having an actual conversation which sucks.

I was sitting one chair behind and started 'accidentally' bumping her seat. She turned around and I smiled saying...sorry I'm reaaaly bored due to forgetting my headphones. She then giggled and then I just finished the rest of the bus ride like usual.

Looks like I fail the challenge for now, won't be at school for another week.

One of my HS friends is trying to get me to go to a bar though, may post something about that.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Please go to the bar, approaching women in a bar was the catalyst that helped me develop a social life...you got this, man.

Btw this is the best thread ever and I love these kind of goal-oriented missions. Please continue the updates...you will succeed if you keep at it.


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