# Girl with SA speaks to large group. *(YouTube)*



## Anxiolytic (Nov 20, 2014)

Watch and post what your thoughts are.


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## kaos (Nov 15, 2003)

Its uncomfortable to look at. I dont really see it as a triumph but thats only becasue i dont believe in exposure as a treatment in itself. +1 for bravery, making the condition known and researching SAD. I agree with her that it is so much more than beeing shy......


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## dune87 (Aug 10, 2015)

It's awful when you have so many things to say, but then, when the opportunity comes, you feel like an alien, as if you don't know any human languages to express yourself. 

I think it takes a lot of determination and exposition to pain and agony in order to be successful while having social anxiety. It can go well while you're pushing yourself. But if one doesn't keep a disciplined presence of mind, anxiety can take over their whole being again. 

Don't misunderstand me. I think a person with social anxiety can still do quality innovative things, if they're lucky to be a creative kind of person. The quality of a well-made artifact cannot be debated, social skills or not. But it's just so much hard work to even allow one's self to be present and grab opportunities. Because even if you don't make speeches you still have to be in contact with people and allow yourself to be vulnerable. Having SA means having the danger of being fickle and flaky because of fear, and that can make things really hard. 

I liked the music trick, maybe i could try that myself if an opportunity ever presents itself.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Congrats for her, very brave. She describes SA perfectly. Too bad that music technique doesn't work for me.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

kaos said:


> Its uncomfortable to look at. I dont really see it as a triumph but thats only becasue i dont believe in exposure as a treatment in itself. +1 for bravery, making the condition known and researching SAD. I agree with her that it is so much more than beeing shy......


Why don't you think exposure therapy is good?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Orbiter (Jul 8, 2015)

kaos said:


> Its uncomfortable to look at. I dont really see it as a triumph but thats only becasue i dont believe in exposure as a treatment in itself. +1 for bravery, making the condition known and researching SAD. I agree with her that it is so much more than beeing shy......


Doing exposure is a good thing, it's just better to do in little steps and not immediately against millions of eventual viewers.


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## kaos (Nov 15, 2003)

nubly said:


> Why don't you think exposure therapy is good?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


what i meant is that it isnt good for me. I have done it for 27 years without any noticeable improvements. When i found the true source of my SAD the rest just naturally followed without me needing to do the exposure-thingy. Interesting really how some need to recitify the inside cogs and wheels and the outside follows, while others can address the outside and mend the inside while doing so. I wonder why that is.


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## veron (Apr 29, 2009)

kaos said:


> Its uncomfortable to look at. I dont really see it as a triumph but thats only becasue i dont believe in exposure as a treatment in itself.


Really? I thought she looked very, very confident up there. In other words - normal. If I had been up there, I'd turn red, start shaking, and probably stutter, lol. She didn't look nervous at all.


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## kaos (Nov 15, 2003)

veron said:


> Really? I thought she looked very, very confident up there. In other words - normal. If I had been up there, I'd turn red, start shaking, and probably stutter, lol. She didn't look nervous at all.


You didnt pick up on the dry throat, the speedtalking and the fright of pauses? I sense those signs immidiately because i know them so well, and i really, really dislike when i see the puppetmaster called anxiety making a fellow man (or woman) dance at the end of those hidious strings.
But then again she did say that she might never overcome SAD and the talk wasnt addressing how to overcome it. Rather it was about having SAD and doing the talk anyway, raising awereness. At least thats what I got from her talk.


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## VanDamme (Jun 8, 2004)

kaos said:


> You didnt pick up on the dry throat, the speedtalking and the fright of pauses?


-I wonder about the dry throat. Without hearing her actual voice, that's just an assumption. Yes, I did notice a few times when her voice changed but that was more likely due to muscle tension. Something that I'm quite familiar with.
-As for speed, I thought her pace was actually very good. If anything, it was even slower then most people I hear at support group meetings.
-Yes, there were pauses but nothing compared to the many many seconds that I literally used to take.
Based on those aspects only, she presented quite well.

The part that seemed more "obvious" anxiety to me was her constant moving/pacing her facial expression. 
-She might have been pacing because of anxiety or because of the music. I also tend to move when I listen to music (at least my feet). 
-When my SA was intense, my facial muscles used to be really tense. It reminded me of dogs when they to growl as a warning before an attack. Her face also reminded me of that.



kaos said:


> I sense those signs immidiately because i know them so well, and i really, really dislike when i see the puppetmaster called anxiety making a fellow man (or woman) dance at the end of those hidious strings.


Maybe you're projecting or something else is triggering your experience? I remember when I used to watch The Apprentice and people had to present or do the interview style eliminaiton at the end my SA also kicked in. The "fun part" of the brain's pattern recognitions. 



kaos said:


> But then again she did say that she might never overcome SAD and the talk wasnt addressing how to overcome it. Rather it was about having SAD and doing the talk anyway, raising awereness. At least thats what I got from her talk.


I wonder what her research actually included. 
CBT can work with thinking issues and there are plenty of desensitization approaches for the fear symptoms - and have been around for a long time. There are lot of other approaches as well. However, her evidence seemed to only show why people with SA can't change.

Sounds like she's one of the "manage" type people who often use chemical imbalanace and genetics as "evidence" that SA can't be changed but at best managed. Lucky for those of us who didn't get that memo. 

I wrote about change here: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...alth-forum-1635298/index4.html#post1082889673



kaos said:


> When i found the true source of my SAD the rest just naturally followed without me needing to do the exposure-thingy. Interesting really how some need to recitify the inside cogs and wheels and the outside follows, while others can address the outside and mend the inside while doing so. I wonder why that is.


All change is internal i.e. changing memory in your brain. But different approaches work because SA is not a single issue. Much like fever, it's more like a symptom with many possible causes. For some, it's thinking, belief related. For others the fear symptom is more significant. With many issues, the work can be done either inside or outside. For example for fear symptoms: e.g. visualization vs actual exposure.

However, it is important the right type of approach is used for the issue. Thinking and feeling (e.g. fear) type issues often need to be addressed differently. And even then you have to start with the "core" issue. That's why there is no single approach that'll work for everyone.


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## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

That was a nice thing to do. Thanks for sharing, Anxiolytic.


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## kaos (Nov 15, 2003)

VanDamme said:


> -I wonder about the dry throat. Without hearing her actual voice, that's just an assumption. Yes, I did notice a few times when her voice changed but that was more likely due to muscle tension. Something that I'm quite familiar with.
> -As for speed, I thought her pace was actually very good. If anything, it was even slower then most people I hear at support group meetings.
> -Yes, there were pauses but nothing compared to the many many seconds that I literally used to take.
> Based on those aspects only, she presented quite well.
> ...


Might be the case. I'm not certain. But my radar seldom miss these tells. I should be in the poker industry if it didn't bore me to tears...



VanDamme said:


> -
> I wonder what her research actually included.
> CBT can work with thinking issues and there are plenty of desensitization approaches for the fear symptoms - and have been around for a long time. There are lot of other approaches as well. However, her evidence seemed to only show why people with SA can't change.
> 
> Sounds like she's one of the "manage" type people who often use chemical imbalanace and genetics as "evidence" that SA can't be changed but at best managed. Lucky for those of us who didn't get that memo.


Amen to that. Never did try meds which often directly follows that line of thought. Each to his own of course but I've seen some grim stories due to meds. And relapse seems to be very frequent.



VanDamme said:


> -
> All change is internal i.e. changing memory in your brain. But different approaches work because SA is not a single issue. Much like fever, it's more like a symptom with many possible causes. For some, it's thinking, belief related. For others the fear symptom is more significant. With many issues, the work can be done either inside or outside. For example for fear symptoms: e.g. visualization vs actual exposure.
> 
> However, it is important the right type of approach is used for the issue. Thinking and feeling (e.g. fear) type issues often need to be addressed differently. And even then you have to start with the "core" issue. That's why there is no single approach that'll work for everyone.


Another amen. A symptom for me too. I discovered that an underlying current was the cause as I've stated elsewhere on these boards. Rerouting that current was off the essence. 
Just hope it stays that way. I've never really met anyone who has completely defeated SA without it coming back. it seems so cyclical. I guess some people on this board actually has but naturally disappear when it's over. I wish more of those would give a 5-year update as a conclusive conclusion requires that much time because it is so cyclical.


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## JDsays (Oct 20, 2015)

I'm jealous she got to do a TED talk for SA. That's something I've wanted to do, not for SA specifically but something else. Props to her for doing that though, that's really awesome that she was able to do it.


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

JDsays said:


> I'm jealous she got to do a TED talk for SA. That's something I've wanted to do, not for SA specifically but something else. Props to her for doing that though, that's really awesome that she was able to do it.


You can nominate anyone for TED, including yourself.


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## veron (Apr 29, 2009)

kaos said:


> You didnt pick up on the dry throat, the speedtalking and the fright of pauses? I sense those signs immidiately because i know them so well, and i really, really dislike when i see the puppetmaster called anxiety making a fellow man (or woman) dance at the end of those hidious strings.
> But then again she did say that she might never overcome SAD and the talk wasnt addressing how to overcome it. Rather it was about having SAD and doing the talk anyway, raising awereness. At least thats what I got from her talk.


I didn't watch for very long, but no, I didn't. Not many people excel at public speaking. While she didn't have the charisma of a talk show host, she appeared like the average public speaker. Certainly not like a terrified person.


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

The part about "social anxiety basically just being shyness" is hard for me to figure out. I don't really feel shy. If I have something to say I can say it, but at the same time I feel a lot of anxiety when talking to people and don't always say what is on my mind. Like she said in the video, it's almost as if there is some invisible force preventing us from articulating and communicating our thoughts coherently. Without that, communication would be so much easier. I've been trying to find some way to break this barrier down for like five years now, with no luck.

Good for her for speaking in front of a crowd like that.


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## VanDamme (Jun 8, 2004)

kaos said:


> Another amen. A symptom for me too. I discovered that an underlying current was the cause as I've stated elsewhere on these boards. Rerouting that current was off the essence.
> Just hope it stays that way. I've never really met anyone who has completely defeated SA without it coming back. it seems so cyclical. I guess some people on this board actually has but naturally disappear when it's over. I wish more of those would give a 5-year update as a conclusive conclusion requires that much time because it is so cyclical.


All right. I'll be back in 5 years. :smile2:
I'm also curious to see the updates to this thread: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f257/where-do-you-see-yourself-in-5-years-1652618/


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## SwtSurrender (Nov 24, 2014)

Anxiolytic said:


> Watch and post what your thoughts are.


Wow she's so good at it, she touched my heart, my heart feels weird... maybe it's because I imagined my life story as she was talking about hers, like a flashback. The selective mutism I also have it too, had it, maybe can still have it, but it was so bad 100% before Prozac. That's a interesting method she has with using the music to give her courage to give speeches or speak, I even noticed it towards the middle to the end that she was starting to breathe hard and that was because she turned her music off. She has stumbles 2 words and has an accent. But god damn it, she is pure and touched me so good with this speech. <3  ahhhhhh my :heart


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## 629753 (Apr 7, 2015)

veron said:


> Really? I thought she looked very, very confident up there. In other words - normal. If I had been up there, I'd turn red, start shaking, and probably stutter, lol. She didn't look nervous at all.





veron said:


> I didn't watch for very long, but no, I didn't. Not many people excel at public speaking. While she didn't have the charisma of a talk show host, she appeared like the average public speaker. Certainly not like a terrified person.


You know, when you are persuing your dream of fighting anxiety, when you go trough your worst moments of your lifes, presevere and have sucess, that is a HUGE ego boost, and i talk by experience, for me, i get confidence bit by bit. Soo no, dont judge because you dont know their struggle.﻿

What was she suppose to do? Choke and cry in the middle of the room just to show she has SA?

Im just assuming you guys are thinking because she acted normal she doesnt have SA.


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