# went to a concert by myself



## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

I forced myself to do this, I'm glad I did because now I know that I really don't like doing things like this by myself.  It was at a very small venue. I didn't have a good time. I wanted to see the artist and didn't want to miss out just because no one could go with me. I didn't feel anxious in any way, but I sure felt lonely.


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

I'm not sure I could do that. Who did you see?


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

probably only the Canadians here would know - it's one of the guys from a band called Great Big Sea (from Newfoundland). I did stay for the whole thing, though.


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

Yeah, I haven't heard of them 

I've gone to movies and sit down restaurants by myself, but that's it.


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

I wouldn't be able to do the restaurant thing at all, I think that would make me anxious


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## candiedsky (Aug 7, 2011)

There have been probably at least 20 concerts I would have loved to go to, even if I was alone. I never have any money though, so that's an issue. Good for you though!


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## IamMefx (Sep 6, 2011)

Whenever I go someplace alone, I feel very embarrassed, as if everyone is just staring at me and thinking, "ha ha, look at that poor girl going to the mall by herself!" 

But than something dawned on me... Do we ever care or notice someone else who's by themselves in public? Because I sure don't. UNLESS, the person appears nervous or extremely self-conscious. But if they seem generally comfortable/collected, they don't really stand out or anything. 

Just a thought.

But anyway, good for you! I know I couldn't get myself to go to a concert alone. Lol... I feel awkward enough when I go with other people.


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## avoidobot3000 (Aug 22, 2010)

I'm going alone to a few concerts in the next few months, I don't mind too much. Usually I just chill at the bar until the music starts, occaisonally I bump into someone I know or someone approaches me. I'm there to see the artist, now the crowd of annoying hipsters :b


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## saara (Jun 7, 2010)

Great Big Sea!  wicked.
I'm ok going on concerts alone...Sure, it is lonely, but it's worth hearing your favorite artists live...(I think..)

Now, try going to a club alone. That's loneliness.

Yeah. I used to do it.:roll i assume just because i like to torture myself


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## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

senrab said:


> I forced myself to do this, I'm glad I did because now I know that I really don't like doing things like this by myself.  It was at a very small venue. I didn't have a good time. I wanted to see the artist and didn't want to miss out just because no one could go with me. I didn't feel anxious in any way, but I sure felt lonely.


I did this recently and felt rather similarly. The venue was just a bar, unfortunately, and it was over an hour from the time I walked in to the start of the show. That was one of the longest hours of my life -- I stood alone and fiddled with my phone the entire time.

I'm totally with you. Doing activities that are almost inherently social by oneself just plain sucks, and when I stupidly force myself to try, I never really consider the result a "triumph."


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## nr385e (Oct 1, 2011)

I'm missing out on all the fun things in life. I would love to go to concerts, amusement parks, travel the world, go on adventures, etc., but I would feel awkward & it definitely would suck doing these things alone.


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

anomalous said:


> I did this recently and felt rather similarly. The venue was just a bar, unfortunately, and it was over an hour from the time I walked in to the start of the show. That was one of the longest hours of my life -- I stood alone and fiddled with my phone the entire time.
> 
> I'm totally with you. Doing activities that are almost inherently social by oneself just plain sucks, and when I stupidly force myself to try, I never really consider the result a "triumph."


Exactly. I'm perfectly fine being alone in my apartment. (I live alone). It's my sanctuary, I'm surrounded by all of my things-photos, books, music, guitars, mementos, and I _never_ feel lonely. But I seem to be finding myself feeling quite depressed and even sad when I'm out in public by myself, and this concert really hit triggered it. I honestly wasn't thinking like we SA'ers usually do: "Oh God, people are looking at me noticing I'm here by myself and they think I'm a weirdo or some kind of antisocial misfit." No, I felt profoundly sad and lonely that I was by myself in a public place. I kept looking at my watch. I had no plans of leaving early because when I force myself into these situations I follow through and I don't quit.

I also think some recent events made me feel this way...1) I've had to do a lot of driving home and back (7 hours each way) and I've always been alone, and the time passes by so much more slowly and 2) I seem to get ditched a lot at the last minute when I have tickets to something and make plans with a friend or even my mom. But I attribute #2 to bad luck.


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

IamMefx said:


> Whenever I go someplace alone, I feel very embarrassed, as if everyone is just staring at me and thinking, "ha ha, look at that poor girl going to the mall by herself!"
> 
> But than something dawned on me... Do we ever care or notice someone else who's by themselves in public? Because I sure don't. UNLESS, the person appears nervous or extremely self-conscious. But if they seem generally comfortable/collected, they don't really stand out or anything.
> 
> ...


Thanks, and yes I get what you mean. But I had an almost overwhelming feeling of loneliness come over me, and I wasn't doing the usual self talk of "oh geez, look at this girl here at the show by herself."


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## obsidianavenger (Sep 1, 2011)

i think lonliness is definitely enhanced when surrounded by people who are all being friendly and look like their having a great time together. its not so bad if you're able to distract yourself though. for example, i'll often bring a book to read or listen to a podcast on my ipod and chill with a drink while i wait for the show to start... if i completely block out the other people the overwhelming feeling of being cut off seems to dissipate. 

in a way going to shows alone can be better for me though, because i get really into shows and having people with me usually holds me back from going at it (usually they aren't as interested in shoving their way to the front as i am ). its awesome that you went through with it anyways though


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## Event Horizon (Feb 23, 2011)

I pretty much do this all the time these days. I kind of like it, yet at the same time it troubles me seeing that EVERYONE at those events is with someone.


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## stig6 (Oct 4, 2011)

Great job senrab! I was so proud of myself when I managed to do that early last year. It was a bit lonely, but I just stood back and enjoyed the music and the sexy lead singer! Be proud, I bet it was a tough decision to make


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

^ thanks stig.

I talked with my therapist about this last week and I told her how that tidal wave of loneliness just came over me. She offered a great insight—she thinks I felt profoundly lonely because I'm making an effort to connect with others more and more, and the loneliness is, in fact, acknowledging that I do want connection and relationships. And here I thought I was having a small setback because I got depressed like that.


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## iamwhatiam (Mar 23, 2011)

Great job, even if you felt lonely you know what types of stuff to avoid.


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## tropic (May 28, 2011)

At least you did try it, and that's amazing . I went to a concert alone once as well and I enjoyed it, but not as much as I do when I go with friends.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Going to concerts alone isn't that scary! I've done it more than once, and I've always had fun. 

May I ask, who was the artist/band?

Either way, congrats!


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## StarGazerGirl (Oct 2, 2011)

I went to see Mumford & Sons all.. by.. my.. Self last year.  But then, after that time, other stuff happened and my life went downhill again.


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## mysterioussoul (Jul 17, 2010)

kudos. i want to try going by myself just to prove to myself that i can and not worry too much about what people think of me.


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