# Embarrassed when nobody is around?



## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

does this happen to you?

I get really embarrassed when I do something goofy when nobody else is around. If I start dancing or getting excited, even when completely alone, I start feeling really humiliated and stupid.

I would never dance or sing for fun even when alone because I feel like I'm sort of being watched. I also feel really humiliated and embarrassed if I remember something stupid that I did.

Example: Saying something to someone and then realizing days after that I actually said something really stupid.


I also remember this thread on SAS where people were talking about how they feel like people can hear their thoughts. I thought it was a joke but I quickly realized it was very serious. Coincidentally, I actually started feeling like that too recently lol.


It's quite annoying. I never really feel at peace and free. I suppose this is a part of the reason I would love to live away from other people.


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## Zoorah (May 16, 2012)

Yea..I know what you means.

Sometimes I feel an urge to dance when the song I'm listening to is freackin good, but I start feeling like you described- humiliated, stupid and just a general feeling of being watched. 

But...What's wrong in the first place with dancing and singing ? Who cares if you and me are not the God of dance? And if someone "catch" you dancing, what's the worst that can happen? Judge you? Who cares? That person is not a American Idol Judge after all , and you're not on stage either. Though, the person will probably feel perplexed at first, if you're know to be a very serious person not prone to be excited or dancing.


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## RenegadeReloaded (Mar 12, 2011)

Theologic said:


> If I start dancing or getting excited, even when completely alone, I start feeling really humiliated and stupid.
> 
> I would never dance or sing for fun even when alone because I feel like I'm sort of being watched. I also feel really humiliated and embarrassed if I remember something stupid that I did.


I feel that too. I wonder what is the explanation ?


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Goodness, this is so me! I used to dance/pretend to music, roleplay scenes from my stories. I was so embarrassed by it, I had to blare the music incredibly loud, and do it in the dark, with my windows covered, feeling like even the walls were watching. I can't engage in various exercises or any such even when alone because it feels like SOMEBODY is always watching, even if it's just the air or walls. I can't sing out loud even when I'm alone, unless the music is turned up so loud nobody would be able to hear, and even then, I'm just too embarrassed. It's so, so stupid to be afraid of being seen or heard when you KNOW there is nobody there, but that doesn't get rid of the suspicion. Frustrating.

And yes, I too will get to mulling over things I've said and be certain I sounded like a total moron. This usually happens after I get off the phone. Ugh.

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who feels like the world is watching when there's nobody around!

Oh. Regarding "hearing thoughts," I think this is why schizotypal personality disorder was given as a potential diagnosis for me. I once told the therapists I FELT LIKE people could read my thoughts, tell what I was thinking. I know that people really CAN'T do this, but I felt LIKE they could. I had to clarify this stance, that I don't REALLY believe my thoughts are being read, I just FEEL like it, so the therapists didn't get the wrong idea and think I was possibly delusional. People with schizophrenia will say somebody IS reading their thoughts. People with schizotypal PD will say they FEEL LIKE somebody is reading their thoughts. So I guess that's where they got that impression. This is one reason I don't make eye contact, it just feels far too revealing and threatening, like people might see into my soul.

I know for a fact even if I were WAAAAAY out in the middle of nowhere, far from civilization, I'd still feel like I'm being watched. Maybe God is watching me! Kinda hard to get away from Him. o_o


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## sas111 (Oct 20, 2010)

Yes, I always feel like someone else is in the room gazing at my every move. In a sense their is, your ego/unconsciousness mind & your conscience mind, probably judging you. Just the way I see it.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

THIS. ----->



vanilllabb said:


> in a sense their is, your ego/unconsciousness mind & your conscience mind, probably judging you. Just the way i see it.


(Offtopic--weird, I put "This" in all caps twice, and both times it stripped them! I'm not allowed to yell, now? :sus )

(Offofftopic--well huh, NOW it's in caps...bizarre.)


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## shymomoffour (May 9, 2012)

I FEEL THIS WAY!!! Anytime I go somewhere I think someone will read my thoughts and know all the embarrassing and shameful things Ive done!For my birthday my mom gave me a whole bunch of crosses and one big one where He is on the cross all with blood. Im not against religion and Ive visited many churches of all kinds...but Im scared all those crosses will judge me already!!


And I also get embarrassed when no one is around. My thing is laughing. I laugh all the time to myself just to make myself cry. I laugh at serious situations to hide my true feelings. Sometimes Im driving in the car and burst out laughing hysterically about something that happened another day!! I think Im losing it...the person in the car next to me looks at me all crazy! My kids video me on their phones when I cant stop laughing...which really embarrasses me and I think to myself----(ok get a hold of yourself before they put me away)


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## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

Nah,I think I'm pretty great!- It's just others that make me question myself,when I'm by myself,I'm THE QUEEN OF ALL!!!


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## ToucanSam (Mar 22, 2012)

I do this. In fact, I will often go so far as to say "idiot!" out loud, to chastise myself.

I think there are at least two reasons that SA people do this:

at some time in our past, we were caught doing something goofy by a school chum or sibling and they ridiculed us for it, or, a parent caught us and scolded us. The trauma amped up our paranoia/self-consciousness.
those of us raised in evangelical homes were taught that we can never hide from the gaze of Jesus/saints/angels/dead relatives, all of whom perpetually watch over us and whom we must never disappoint.


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## duckie (Apr 30, 2012)

Theologic said:


> I also feel really humiliated and embarrassed if I remember something stupid that I did.


this happens to me fairly often. it could be any embarrassing moment from years ago to something that happened yesterday.


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## ToucanSam (Mar 22, 2012)

^oh yeah, me too. It's still as fresh & powerful as if it just happened a moment ago.


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## StrangetoBehold (Apr 26, 2012)

Actually, yes. It's like the walls are watching. I know that I'm completely alone but the embarrassment is still there when I do something foolish. It also happens when I'm about to go to sleep and then *every *embarrassing thing I've ever done comes back to haunt me. I cringe when I think about it.


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## RavenDust (May 2, 2012)

TOTALLY!! I do that all the time. I probably spend about 75% worrying about what people think or if I look stupid or ugly.


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## RavenDust (May 2, 2012)

StrangetoBehold said:


> Actually, yes. It's like the walls are watching. I know that I'm completely alone but the embarrassment is still there when I do something foolish. It also happens when I'm about to go to sleep and then *every *embarrassing thing I've ever done comes back to haunt me. I cringe when I think about it.


I'm that way with my tv....


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## Invisigirl (Oct 11, 2011)

StrangetoBehold said:


> Actually, yes. It's like the walls are watching. I know that I'm completely alone but the embarrassment is still there when I do something foolish. It also happens when I'm about to go to sleep and then *every *embarrassing thing I've ever done comes back to haunt me. I cringe when I think about it.


OMG ... the embarrassing thoughts. It's like my mind keeps an archive of every humiliating/stupid thing I've done or said since I was 5, and no matter how much I want to forget I can't. 

As for feeling embarrassed when no one's around, I have that problem too. It's gotten a lot better though. Now I'm more nervous about being caught than actually engaging in silly behavior. I'm relieved when I'm home alone, because there's no chance my parents would catch me having one-person dance parties in my room.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

ToucanSam said:


> I do this. In fact, I will often go so far as to say "idiot!" out loud, to chastise myself.
> 
> I think there are at least two reasons that SA people do this:
> 
> ...


This.

When I'm alone, every time I even remember something embarrassing from the past, no matter how long ago it was, I'll swear at myself out loud. Which, if anyone heard me, would be an embarrassing moment in itself. I can't stop it, the words seem to come out of their own accord. Even the smallest incident from ten years ago feels like the worst thing in the world.

What you're saying rings true. I got ridiculed and scolded by both parents and classmates so many times that nowadays I kind of feel like all my natural/instinctive behaviour and mannerisms are wrong, and I always try to be really self-contained and restrained. Also, as a child I definitely felt I was being eternally scrutinised by God, Jesus and relatives who had passed away. I thought that I would get haunted if I did anything wrong.


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## FabledHero (Jun 13, 2010)

StrangetoBehold said:


> Actually, yes. It's like the walls are watching. I know that I'm completely alone but the embarrassment is still there when I do something foolish. It also happens when I'm about to go to sleep and then *every *embarrassing thing I've ever done comes back to haunt me. I cringe when I think about it.


Before you can get over worrying about people judging you, you're going to have to get over self-judgement.


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