# anxiety about going to bed



## Jayne311 (Aug 20, 2009)

For a few months now off and on, I've had anxiety about going to bed. It's strange because I absolutely love sleeping. I don't have any anxiety about actually sleeping. It's just the idea of going from being around other people in my house in the evening to going into my room by myself and turning off all the lights and laying down in bed and expecting myself to relax enough to drift off to sleep. It's gotten to the point where I can't fall asleep without the TV on because it feels like the world isn't as shut down as I percieve it just laying there in the dark. 

I also have some anxieties about my bed. I was considering going and sleeping on the couch last night because I was anxious in my room, but I didn't want my family to think I was weird. But sleeping on the couch sounded incredibly inviting, as opposed to being in my own room with my super-comfortable bed that for some reason I all of the sudden want to avoid.

Does anyone else ever experience anything similar to this? Have you learned ways to deal with it or improve it?


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## jlotz123 (Dec 11, 2009)

I listen to very low toned music, that has no lyrics, purely instrumental. It really helps me fall asleep at night, it's like a bed time lallaby. I also use it as a deep form of meditation. But before I go to bed, I have to relax myself first. I can't go from watching television then straight to sleep, I must first read something, or calm myself with soft music. Then control my breathing patterns so my heart isn't racing, then I take a sip of water then crawl into my bed cuddling with a pillow.

Before you know it, i'm knocked out.


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## kid a (Aug 26, 2010)

wow i have this exact same issue.... i have even moved myself to the computer room with the bed in it because i cant sleep in my room anymore..my mom thinks its kind of weird but hasnt asked why. i wind myself to get out of bed an i have to wind myself down to go to sleep, i just sit there an fidget an toss an turn when many can just roll over an go to sleep an stay in the same spot... when you do sleep does it feel like your fully asleep or just resting your eyes in a deep dreamy sort of way...i to love sleep


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## Laxey (Sep 14, 2010)

Hi. This is exactly my issue. I even question myself about how the process of going to sleep and if I have forgot how to do so?!!

Often I lie in bed and can feel my pulse pumping within me. It is not particularly rapid but feels strong and I find myself worrying about that. It is a vicious circle for me. I have always been a limited sleeper in terms of hours and I can even recall when this problem became a significant issue for me. I was supporting a special needs group on a holiday and was on sleep in duties. I was experiencing a heavy cold and was unable to get to sleep at all. In the morning I came out of my room and told the night staff that I had not slept. She responded ' this is getting worse isn't it?'. That was the key and it was a lightning bolt that really stirred this problem for me. I left the lodge and telephoned my wife and cried. That was two years ago. Interestingly, in 24 months since I have never had a 'sleepless' night but seem to fear it will happen again. 

I enjoy sleep and recall the wonderful feeling of 'dropping off' which I used to really savour. Now I just question how, when and if I will sleep. I hate it with a vengeance. 

I attended the GP who gave me sleeping tablets but after trying them it had no effect and just left me 'drunk like' in the morning. I asked for Cognitive Therapy but after 4 weeks the therapist left and has not been replaced. 

In a funny way it is nice to know I am not alone. Although I do wish that nobody had to discuss this at all of course and we could all slip into slumber. In time I am sure this will be so


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## Laxey (Sep 14, 2010)

Hi LaRibbon. Occasionally the sense of night makes me feel lonely. If I dwell upon this it then seems to increase anxiety sensations. It is a mind over matter thing but easier said than done.


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## Laxey (Sep 14, 2010)

Jayne311 said:


> For a few months now off and on, I've had anxiety about going to bed. It's strange because I absolutely love sleeping. I don't have any anxiety about actually sleeping. It's just the idea of going from being around other people in my house in the evening to going into my room by myself and turning off all the lights and laying down in bed and expecting myself to relax enough to drift off to sleep. It's gotten to the point where I can't fall asleep without the TV on because it feels like the world isn't as shut down as I percieve it just laying there in the dark.
> 
> I also have some anxieties about my bed. I was considering going and sleeping on the couch last night because I was anxious in my room, but I didn't want my family to think I was weird. But sleeping on the couch sounded incredibly inviting, as opposed to being in my own room with my super-comfortable bed that for some reason I all of the sudden want to avoid.
> 
> Does anyone else ever experience anything similar to this? Have you learned ways to deal with it or improve it?


From a tip point of view I watch a bit of TV or read a while. I try to not focus on the anxiety too much. If you have no sleep so what? It is not the end of the world. What will be, will be. This form of thinking helps remove the worry a wee bit as it helps me take more control.

I am by no means free of the issues but try to reconfigure my thinking. I have good nights or even weeks then find a bad night throws me. I try to shrug it off and start again.


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## MrBBB (Jun 6, 2010)

I find that on nights when I am tossing and turning too much and too anxious to sleep, it is best to get up for a short time. For some reason it does help to move to another room for a little while..I try to avoid turning on the TV if I can help it though. Music and reading are usually helpful to get relaxed. This is especially true if you have a night time panic attack. There is no use even trying to sleep until it has mostly passed over, which could be a half hour or more. 

Brian


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## ju_pa (Sep 21, 2008)

Jayne311 said:


> For a few months now off and on, I've had anxiety about going to bed. It's strange because I absolutely love sleeping. I don't have any anxiety about actually sleeping. It's just the idea of going from being around other people in my house in the evening to going into my room by myself and turning off all the lights and laying down in bed and expecting myself to relax enough to drift off to sleep. It's gotten to the point where I can't fall asleep without the TV on because it feels like the world isn't as shut down as I percieve it just laying there in the dark.
> 
> I also have some anxieties about my bed. I was considering going and sleeping on the couch last night because I was anxious in my room, but I didn't want my family to think I was weird. But sleeping on the couch sounded incredibly inviting, as opposed to being in my own room with my super-comfortable bed that for some reason I all of the sudden want to avoid.
> 
> Does anyone else ever experience anything similar to this? Have you learned ways to deal with it or improve it?


Your body needs serotonin to produce melatonin (sleeping hormone) in the evening. But serotonin is also needed for relaxation. So when the body runs out of serotonin in the evening due to the effect of producing melatonin from it, you will experience depression and sadness and something that you just described. Try having a chamomile and green tea in the evening.


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## Chairman Dan (Jul 20, 2010)

I also leave the television on while going to sleep. But my reasons for doing so aren't as much about a change or contrast in environment as they are about the actual process of drifting off. There is something about the in-between stages of consciousness that terrify me and having the tv switched on serves as a form of reassuring security. This usually works to my disadvantage though because i end up being awoken a couple of hours later by the bright screen or a sudden sound, which then makes me have to go through that dreaded initial stage again. I also have a fear of dreams, which in my case are often really bad, vivid scenarios and flashbacks or sometimes outright nightmares.

In terms of managing or improving this area, i've found that going to bed earlier and generally having a regimented sleep schedule has helped. The next step will have to be removing the bedroom tv.


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## Jayne311 (Aug 20, 2009)

Thank you for all of the advice. 

Someone mentioned a pounding (but not racing) heart beat at night. This is exactly what I have. I've been to numerous doctors and all have said I have nothing physically wrong with me, and I can tell it spikes when I'm anxious. I suppose when I lay down at night, it's the only time of the day when I have nothing to distract me from my obvious issues, so my heart pounds because I'm nervous about having nothing to keep me busy and away from them.

I agree about not letting the lack of sleep bother you, and about getting into a regular schedule with sleeping, because both of those things help so much. I guess I'm just so anxious in general that a relaxing environment like my room at night is unfamiliar enough to make me uncomfortable with it. I think working through some issues and trying to calm down in the hours before bed will help.


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

I've always had trouble falling asleep so I can relate. When I was a kid, I was always the last one to fall asleep at my friend's slumber parties. I've never been like one of those people who can just lie down and be asleep the second their head hits the pillow.


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