# Nice girls never win



## Maseur Shado (Jun 7, 2005)

Nice girls never win when it comes to relationships. Either they never get asked out, or they get dates with forty grade rejects. And why should that be the case? 

You always hear about the "nice guy" syndrome, and I'll admit that can be terrible. But guys, stop and think for a minute. Do you think it's any easier for the females who are like you? Because guess what, THEY EXIST. They're the ones staying in the background, not making complete idiots of themselves by getting on top of tables and dancing topless. But do you ever want them? You say so, but it's amazing how often what gets your motors running are those girls that are, shall we say, "easy"? Why is that? Not all easy girls are attractive. A lot of nice girls aren't ugly, either. Plain, perhaps, but plain does not equal ugly. It's just unadorned.

If they do get asked out, it's usually by guys that are...well, ones with outstanding arrest warrants, or some variation thereof. Some of you might say that they should be grateful for getting any attention at all. But I hope you wouldn't, because that is wrong. And tacky.

In the end, there's no victory for the girl who tries to go about in her life in a decent fashion. She can get a lot of things by being this way. Intelligence, dignity, and morality can get you far in life. But it can't get you a date.

And this is coming from a formerly nice (but still plain!) girl.


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## pixiedust (Aug 11, 2005)

:agree 

from one nice girl to another.

Although i don't think I've ever heard a guy say they wanted a nice girl.


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## pixiedust (Aug 11, 2005)

I actually agree with your post BCdude. There is a difference between someone who is nice and someone who is a doormat. I got the impression that the OP was talking about the kind of "easy" girls that get on a table in a bar and start ripping off their clothes because, well, she said "not making complete idiots of themselves by getting on top of tables and dancing topless". You can be nice and have confidence and not act like trash. I think the kinds of guys that go after those kinds of girls are ones you want to stay away from anyway.

Personally, this is what I was really thinking about when I responded to the post...


> If they do get asked out, it's usually by guys that are...well, ones with outstanding arrest warrants, or some variation thereof.


 Shy girls get hit up by players a lot, they're easy prey for many reasons.


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## Whiteout (Oct 31, 2005)

Maybe it is because of your social anxiety not because you are "nice". I find it hard to believe that nice girls have problems getting dates. Unless you are fat and/or ugly (like I am) then maybe that is the reason.


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## Johnny_Genome (Nov 11, 2003)

Where is it that you nice plain girls hide? I believe you when you say you exist, but it is a rare occasion when I find myself in the company of any single females.


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

> Nice girls never win when it comes to relationships. Either they never get asked out, or they get dates with forty grade rejects. And why should that be the case?


I thought the whole deal was this.... okay, I'll be more specific and focus on people who are shy/quiet/have SA, etc. These will be our "nice" people. I believe I am one of them. Both sexes who have these traits may not expect the other to be interested. That's why we never get together. I definately do not expect girls to like me, but maybe there have been girls that I have hung around that liked me, but never thought I'd be interested.

I also wonder what constitutes as a forth grade reject? As a guy that is 23, lives at home, works part-time with his mom, and has no plans for the future as far as career, school, or moving out......... am I just another guy that is a waste of women's time? I personally believe that even shy, nice, "plain" girls wouldn't want to be with me, even if that's what I prefer. I just don't have much to offer except affection and being a caring person, but I feel like I am just not trying hard enough for the women of the world sometimes... like I have to go and put myself out in the world more. But I have little interest in that, or at least doing it alone.


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## pixiedust (Aug 11, 2005)

BeNice said:


> I just don't have much to offer except affection and being a caring person


 This is a lot more than most of the guys I've dated, don't underestimate it. Having lots of money and friends and ambition doesn't make up for treating people like crap.

You also shouldn't be thinking about doing things in your life with the purpose of attracting women, you should be doing things because they make you happy.


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## infinite_time (Jul 18, 2005)

pixiedust said:


> Having lots of money and friends and ambition doesn't make up for treating people like crap.


You said it pixiedust!


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## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

Girls who are too overtly sexual (some would say "****ty") actually tend to intimidate me. I'd rather meet one who is nice, modest, etc.


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## jerzeyb (Nov 19, 2005)

i, too, consider myself to be a nice guy. most people, upon first meeting, seem to think i am some mean looking, horrible person(the kind of guy that would make you run the other way if we met up in a dark alley). nothing could be further from the truth. with the exception of one guy, all of my close friends are women. all of whom know the real me. all of whom know that i am a caring and compassionate person. all of whom know that i am kind and generous and funny and intelligent. these are not descriptions of my personality i bestow upon myself. this is what they have told me. those who know me well(and there are very few) think that i am a pretty nice guy. i don't objectify women. i don't talk crude or insert sexual innuendo into our conversations, unless i know them well, and we are both comfortable with such talk. i am respectful, courteous and a gentleman(in the truest sense of the word...GENTLE MAN!). still there are no women beating down my door. i have a good job(so you know i am not a deadbeat), i am very self reliant, and i take care of all my responsiblities. so why, after 34 years can i not meet someone great who thinks the same of me? women just don't find me attractive. sadly, i have come to accept this. part of me likes to believe that somewhere there is that one perfect match, but i am slowly losing faith. 

in the past five years, there has only been one woman who showed any interest in me. she is a friend of a friend that i have known for 17 years. she, too, is a nice girl, but not someone i would consider dating. i don't consider her to be attractive physically, we have very little in common, and our personalities(outside of just being genuinely nice people) are quite different. i assure you, though, it has nothing to do with her being a nice girl. 

i prefer nice girls. i prefer(to use a word someone else already used) 'plain girls'-by that i mean girls who wear little or no make up, dress somewhat conservative, and would never entertain a bar-full of drunks by removing clothing. the 'bad girl' is not the type of girl i'd look to start a relationship with. if i was 20 years old and looking for a one night stand...maybe, but that is not what i am about today(or in the past really). that is not what is going to be fulfilling to me. i am looking for someone to spend my life with. someone to tell stupid jokes to(in hopes of making them smile), someone to fall asleep with, someone to wake up next to. someone who can make me think, someone who makes a bad day-good, and a good day-great. someone who, when i see them, makes me understand that every hard road i've ever travelled was worthwhile because it led me to them. still, i am lonely. why? because when you meet that great person who turns your life upside down it is magic. what i have to offer all of the beautiful girls i've ever met(and i see them everywhere-in all shapes, sizes, and colours) is apparently not the magic they are looking for. the lack of that initial attraction has left me without any opportunity to show who/what i really am. 

please don't get me wrong. i am not saying your lack of luck in the dating world is due to un-attractiveness. i can only speak on my own behalf. i don't know you, and it is not my place to pass such judgement on you. i just wanted to share what it has been like for THIS one 'nice guy' who is searching(unsuccessfully) for a 'nice girl'.


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## David1976 (Nov 8, 2003)

I'd like a nice girl...  they are the best kind...


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## Maseur Shado (Jun 7, 2005)

Whiteout said:


> Maybe it is because of your social anxiety not because you are "nice". I find it hard to believe that nice girls have problems getting dates. Unless you are fat and/or ugly (like I am) then maybe that is the reason.


Well, since I've been labelled as ugly by so many people over the years, then I guess that must be it! Oh, hallejuah, call out the angels, God has given unto me an answer!!!!!!!! :roll

It's really hard to look over the other side of the wall and see what the other half is doing, I guess. The thought that girls could never get dates unless they happen to look like heifers is completely wrong, though. Because there are some decent looking ones that can't. You read about it enough based on certain anecdotes. You might even know a couple of them over the years.

As for what counts as a forty grade reject in terms of a guy, that's open to each woman's personal defintion. I would give mine, but I'm not supposed to have an opinion according to the rules of normal society, and also because my dating days ended at 30, so what's the point? :stu

And I'll round out this stupid bit of drabble (oh, hooray, they're all thinking) by adding that it's not always easy to find the shy guys that one might be drawn to. Or the ones with intelligence. The quieter a woman is, the more likely she is to draw garbage. Pixiedust already mentioned that above, I know, but it bears repeating.


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## Temari (May 22, 2005)

I'm a 24 year old female and I consider myself to at least be average looking. I'm a nice person and I can even be fairly outgoing in a situation where I'm comfortable (which isn't around strangers and I guess that's part of the problem). I've never had a bf and don't forsee having one in the near future. At this rate I don't think I'll ever have one at all. There are no guys banging down my door. Hell, I haven't even ever been asked out on a date. 

I can't stand it when guys b1tch about how they have it so bad while girls have it so easy when it comes to dating and relationships since SUPPOSEDLY guys make the first move. I find it amazing how much whining goes on here sometimes about that but the worst of it is that guys here tend to generalize whatever experiences they've had with women to ALL women. That's bullsh1t. The weird thing is, I notice the female posters on this site rarely stick up for themselves. Meanwhile, if anything even slightly negative about males is posted, then the male posters here jump all over them. :sus At least this thread hasn't devolved into that though. 

Sorry if I'm insulting anyone but this is the truth and that's too bad. I just don't know why girls are so much more willing to put up with crap from guys (even on this board) than the other way around. :con I'm not directing this at all the guys here, most of you aren't like that but I wish there weren't any at all (because there are). So if another thread gets started on nice guys who can't get laid, don't expect me to feel sorry about it. I'd like to call people on their sh1t if they can't keep themselves from blaming all the females of the world for their unhappiness. 

Sorry this is kind of off topic but this has pissed me off for some time now and it kind of relates to the thread. And I'll repeat that I don't see all guys doing this here, just some. Gratefully there has been less of it lately but no doubt it will come around again eventually. And I dislike people telling me not to take it personally, when I'm being indirectly attacked simply because I happened to be born a certain gender. :bah


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

..


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## Algernon21 (Nov 11, 2003)

Temari said:


> I'm a 24 year old female and I consider myself to at least be average looking. I'm a nice person and I can even be fairly outgoing in a situation where I'm comfortable (which isn't around strangers and I guess that's part of the problem). I've never had a bf and don't forsee having one in the near future. At this rate I don't think I'll ever have one at all. There are no guys banging down my door. Hell, I haven't even ever been asked out on a date.


This describes me perfectly also. Except I HAVE been asked on a couple of dates, but nothing ever came of them because I was too shy and anxious every time.


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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

This is just my opinion but I think a lot of it has to do with power. People are attracted to power and the "bad girl" or even "bad boy" attitude seems to be largely associated with this. I'm a 25 year old female and I consider myself to be a nice person---but I often wonder if this only acts as a repelent towards the opposite sex. Had I never suffered from social anxiety and adopted the *****y girl persona, wouldn't I be more desirable to many guys out there? This works the other way around as well. Women are attracted to jerks for the same reason. It's insane.

I don't date mainly because of my social phobia and shyness. But to think being a nice person would also work against me is kind of disturbing. And regarding the statement someone made about shy girls being easy prey to players, I totatlly agree.


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## Maseur Shado (Jun 7, 2005)

Temari said:


> I can't stand it when guys b1tch about how they have it so bad while girls have it so easy when it comes to dating and relationships since SUPPOSEDLY guys make the first move. I find it amazing how much whining goes on here sometimes about that but the worst of it is that guys here tend to generalize whatever experiences they've had with women to ALL women. That's bullsh1t. The weird thing is, I notice the female posters on this site rarely stick up for themselves. Meanwhile, if anything even slightly negative about males is posted, then the male posters here jump all over them. :sus At least this thread hasn't devolved into that though.


Bless you, because what you pointed out is what caused me to post this in the first place. Not on these boards, but on another one, I've seen enough of those rants. And it. ticks. me. off. And I'm not sorry for that. All of us should have the right to complain if we're getting equal crappy treatment.

dez, the thing you brought about it possibly having something to do with the power a *****y girl can have...I never thought of that. But maybe that does have something to do with it. Something in the quiet person can be so passive that they unconsciously seek out a person who is not passive. Perhaps as a means of taking on some of that power themselves...or maybe just to be put in their place by a domineering person as a means of reinforcing negative self-esteem. At least, that seems to be the case for girls going for guys who are jerks.

Oh, and I wanted to add a response to this comment: "also like someone who has a wild, adventurous streak in them, and are able to speak their mind and put their foot down if they have to"

Since when did any guy ever like a female who would actually have an educated opinion, and not be willing to hide it? Doesn't that usually get called something nasty?


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## Stonelegs (Dec 15, 2005)

It seems that both genders involved in this discussion are looking at the entire dating thing in a way that is a bit too formulaic, when in fact it is hardly anything like that. The only thing that seems to have merit is that the more '*****y' types are probably the ones that are more likely to be outgoing enough to actually pursue something or show a clearly visible sign of interest, and therefore have more success overall. Whereas a 'nice' or 'passive' person tends to not do this as much, and achieves few results overall. There is nothing innately more attractive about *****y women than nice women.



> Since when did any guy ever like a female who would actually have an educated opinion, and not be willing to hide it? Doesn't that usually get called something nasty?


Although you seem to lament the overgeneralizations committed by males, right here you make a false generalization yourself. To tell you the truth, I would prefer nothing more than someone who is educated and well informed. I can't stand ignorance and stupidity and I certainly don't like women (or men) who carry both attributes in spades. I can't imagine that most intelligent people would prefer stupidity as its frustrating to deal with.


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## Harry is being antisocial (Dec 21, 2004)

Interesting post. I have SA, although its mild as I can drag myself out if I feel its necessary, still dont feel comfortable though.

Im a 28 year old guy. One thing I have been able to do is go on dates and have a series of unsucessful relationships. Most of the girls I seem to end up with are not at all like me. Theyre usually way outgoing and my lack of enthuasism about going out tends to end relationships. I have been able to maintain good relationships with nice girls and I prefer to be with educated, nice girls. I like good philosophical conversations. I like people with insight and sarcastic humor. I prefer introverts because their own personal awareness helps them to understand others. My best relationship was with a shy girl and were still friends.

For me, meeting people is the hardest part. I met people when I was in college and through work and recently online. Since I rarely go to bars or parties, thats the easiest way for me. So its more of a proximity thing. I dont think I have a type, except for someone who isnt braindead and doesnt goes clubbing all the time. 

I just think we all like to rationalize why were not content. We like to blame anyone but ourselves for our situations that cause us to be unhappy. I dont think nice girls or guys finish last, I think plenty nice girls and guys are in sucessful relationships so they dont use that cliche'. But if youre a nice guy, like I try to be, or a nice girl, like you claim to be, the problem isnt the stigma of being a "nice" but just the way you interact with others, or your looks. I doubt its the latter because you all seem pretty good looking. Now lets romance.


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

Why are we calling these girls *****y and stupid? Maybe they have their own set of problems, and that's why they act the way they do.

What is intelligent, anyway? Am I stupid because I never went to college? I don't always have the deepest discussions. I haven't read many books. Am I stupid?


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## Harry is being antisocial (Dec 21, 2004)

Intelligence and a college degree are mutually exclusive for the most part. 

I think its just about how you can express yourself or how you look at certain things that is the most important aspect of intelligence for me. Puttin thoughts to words eloquently.


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

> Puttin thoughts to words eloquently.


I don't know if I'm so good at that.

(okay I won't hijack this thread anymore with my self-pity)


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## Maseur Shado (Jun 7, 2005)

BeNice said:


> What is intelligent, anyway? Am I stupid because I never went to college? I don't always have the deepest discussions. I haven't read many books. Am I stupid?


What each person considers intelligent can be often be subjective. My definition will be radically different from another person's, and vice the versey.


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## Szattam (Nov 11, 2003)

Maseur Shado said:


> They're the ones staying in the background, not making complete idiots of themselves by getting on top of tables and dancing topless. But do you ever want them?


Actually, yes, I do. Those are exactly the ones I notice.



Maseur Shado said:


> Since when did any guy ever like a female who would actually have an educated opinion, and not be willing to hide it?


I don't know where you got such an idea from, but I assure you it's not the case. Many guys find intelligence and wit extremely attractive. What guy doesn't love a girl who can keep him on his toes with clever comebacks and intriguing things to say. It's so awesome 

Here's the thing. The beauty of this world is that every single person's mind works differently. Think of all the mentalities out there. Think of all the weird fetishes. Everyone is attracted to something DIFFERENT. Yes there are trends, but putting silly labels on groups of people and making generalized claims about them is ridiculous. That's the basis for racism, sexism and all that trash. What you CAN say is that there are PERCENTAGES. A certain percentage of guys likes girls who dance on bars, but what about the rest? Same with looks. A large percentage of women think Johnny Depp is hot sh1t, some don't. That's why it blows my mind whenever someone comes to the conclusion "I'll never find my match, cause I'm too this and that" or "guys/girls only like girls/guys who are *whatever*" as if he/she had suddenly been granted the wisdom of the universe and understood the tastes of the 6.5 billion people on earth! :roll We cannot even BEGIN to comprehend the complex workings our own minds, who the hell are we to try and guess what a whole gender is thinking!

In conclusion, yes, some people were born with traits that make things much easier for them, good for them. If however you aren't having success with the opposite sex, you can either hope to someday meet a person who happens to get turned on by what you do, because they ARE out there, OR you can experiment and try new things and see what works. You don't have to change who you are! It's not about being "nice" or "****ty" or some other vague word like that, it's about playing around with the combination of millions of attributes that give you YOUR flavour.


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## jerzeyb (Nov 19, 2005)

:agree 
thank you, Szattam. i think you hit upon a most important point we have all seemingly missed(me included).....

"....as if he/she had suddenly been granted the wisdom of the universe and understood the tastes of the 6.5 billion people on earth! We cannot even BEGIN to comprehend the complex workings our own minds, who the hell are we to try and guess what a whole gender is thinking!"


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## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

Szattam, you are a genius. It takes a rare soul to boldly confront the complexity of the world and the human mind...


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## countrybumpkin (Dec 31, 2004)

I just wanted to reply without actually reading all of the preceeding replies, I want a nice girl and I don't mind if a woman has her own opinions as long as she feels the same about mine if they happen to differ .And by that I mean we can agree to disagree without thinking that we have to change the other one's opinion by'educating ' them. I have dated 'naughty' girls before and always thought nice might be better. As long as a woman has a healthy attitude towards sex , she doesn't have to be 'naughty'. Nice does not have to mean boring or a doormat or anything negative . It means what it has always meant before people start to make it mean something different ,kind and friendly are two of the meanings that the dictionary gives. And by the way , I don't have any outstanding warrants or anything :b


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## B-Dog (Dec 19, 2003)

Maseur Shado said:


> In the end, there's no victory for the girl who tries to go about in her life in a decent fashion. She can get a lot of things by being this way. Intelligence, dignity, and morality can get you far in life. But it can't get you a date.


See http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/vie ... 325#327325 op.

Thats not really helping but I know where your comming from im just on the other side of the fence.

Im starting to think that if its not happening that your not looking for the right people. Eventhough you want to be with this or that person you just haven't met anyone who gets you.


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## Maseur Shado (Jun 7, 2005)

Szattam said:


> That's why it blows my mind whenever someone comes to the conclusion "I'll never find my match, cause I'm too this and that" or "guys/girls only like girls/guys who are *whatever*" as if he/she had suddenly been granted the wisdom of the universe and understood the tastes of the 6.5 billion people on earth! :roll We cannot even BEGIN to comprehend the complex workings our own minds, who the hell are we to try and guess what a whole gender is thinking!


I should have kept leaving this alone, but the old bag is extra edgy today...

I acknowledge that it's not possible to account for the tastes of every single living being presently on the Earth. Of course, I never said that I was. I can, however, say that the types of guys I've had access to, that's what they prefer. I can only go by what ones I've been able to encounter in my immediate area. There might be someone out there for some thing like myself...but is he anywhere near me? Or is he tucked in some remote corner of Kazakhstan? Or maybe he's a lot closer...like Provence? Either way, wherever this theoretical person happens to be, chances are very likely I won't meet him. That's a problem in itself.

And telling me, or anyone else who has trouble meeting the right person, to move is ridiculous. The only option most of us would have is to find someone that's reasonably close to what we could possibly settle for in an emergency, and make do...or stay alone. The second option is perhaps not the best one, but it's far better than using someone you could never care about just to have another person in your life.


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## Maseur Shado (Jun 7, 2005)

B-Dog said:


> Maseur Shado":bffe3]
> In the end said:
> 
> 
> ...


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## Urkidding (Oct 12, 2005)

Maseur Shado said:


> I acknowledge that it's not possible to account for the tastes of every single living being presently on the Earth. Of course, I never said that I was. I can, however, say that the types of guys I've had access to, that's what they prefer. I can only go by what ones I've been able to encounter in my immediate area. There might be someone out there for some thing like myself...but is he anywhere near me?


I agree that you can't account for the tastes of every single living being, and attempting to do so can lead to stereotypes. Nevertheless, I think that supply and demand, cultural influences, similar tastes, etc., can vary according to region, whether we're talking about within the U.S. or Canada or globally.

I noticed your avatar of Denmark. I don't know if you're from there, but I have heard that guys sporting a beard have a huge advantage with the ladies than those who are clean-shaven. Location can make a difference, and I know you're not up for moving, but I'll echo the idea that maybe you've run into a lot of male duds. :stu

I have difficulty figuring out what is meant by a girl being "nice." For the long-term, I'd say the majority of guys do prefer a "nice" girl--however that's defined. For the short-term or for a fling, guys may consider superficial stuff more and not be looking for things like intelligence. And speaking of intelligence and success, I read a ton of blog posts on another site, written by women, who complained of having difficulties attracting guys because guys feared their intelligence and success.

It's a mixed bag. I hope you have success in meeting some guys who are nice enough to give you the time to appreciate you.


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## Maseur Shado (Jun 7, 2005)

Urkidding said:


> I noticed your avatar of Denmark. I don't know if you're from there, but I have heard that guys sporting a beard have a huge advantage with the ladies than those who are clean-shaven. Location can make a difference, and I know you're not up for moving, but I'll echo the idea that maybe you've run into a lot of male duds. :stu
> 
> I have difficulty figuring out what is meant by a girl being "nice." For the long-term, I'd say the majority of guys do prefer a "nice" girl--however that's defined. For the short-term or for a fling, guys may consider superficial stuff more and not be looking for things like intelligence. And speaking of intelligence and success, I read a ton of blog posts on another site, written by women, who complained of having difficulties attracting guys because guys feared their intelligence and success.


No, I'm not from Denmark. The avatar is from a Warner Brothes cartoon. :lol

I'm from the US ...which might be half of my problem. What's considered attractive here is very narrowly defined. It starts with the media, then gets perpetuated by most of the society (men and women alike). This is the country that bred Paris Hilton, that icon of trashiness who still has her share of followers, even if they won't admit it. Same thing with Britney Spears (although she's not tall, and her roots are more apt to show than not...). I can't say that I would have any better luck in Europe, though. Some of the guys I've talked to online from that area of the world were close to what I want, but some of them were just as bad as what I've dated.

As for what a "nice" girl might constitute, the general definition is a female who carries herself with a certain amount of personal dignity. That can be hard to define, but as I said in my original post, it's usually the girl who doesn't go around advertising her goodies. :b

And the combination of intelligence and success can be the most fatal combination a woman could ever have. If she's attractive, it's actually worse. Strange, but that's true. If she's not attractive, it's still impossible, but she won't get many opportunities to date anyway, so it's not the same degree of fatal as it is for the woman who has the whole package. But intelligence by itself can be a killer blow if the girl isn't willing to curb it at least 75% of the time. She can be allowed to have a discussion on something complex every so often, but she also has to know when to shut up and sit there and smile and nod alot. And giggle. And be flirty in that girly-airhead kind of way that is quite frankly nauseating. That's the part I hate, and could never do without feeling like I was betraying myself.

And thanks for the hope that I could meet someone who could appreciate me. Never to happen, but still...


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## workman (Mar 5, 2004)

I don't think nice guys want nice girls and nice girls don't want nice guys. They tell themselves that, but they overlook each other.


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## Mikey (Jan 12, 2005)

I like nice girls. Bad girls just annoy the crap outa me. I'd refuse to date a *****.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

workman said:


> I don't think nice guys want nice girls and nice girls don't want nice guys. They tell themselves that, but they overlook each other.


True. But I'd like to be friends with a "nice" girl, but it seems they don't like me.


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## Mark2006 (Nov 15, 2005)

Mikey said:


> I like nice girls. Bad girls just annoy the crap outa me. I'd refuse to date a @#%$.


hehe, very true. Easy girls couldn't be more of a turn off for me. While I might be physically attracted to them (after all I am only human) my mind will be thinking 'oh dear what DO you look like. Sort it out".

Maseur Shado, I think you need to have a bit more faith in men. Just because you can't get a date doesn't mean all men go for the same type of girl. And the same goes for guys too, sitting around complaining that you're 40 years old and still a virgin. You have to stop and think why that is? The problem isn't with the opposite sex, it's with yourself.


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## z.e. (Feb 26, 2005)

Just so everyone knows, the phrase "There's something rotten in the state of denmark" is from Macbeth.

I find "plain" (I like to think "conservative") girls are hot.


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## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

z.e. said:


> Just so everyone knows, the phrase "There's something rotten in the state of denmark" is from Macbeth.


Actually it's from Hamlet, Act One Scene Four.
Macbeth takes place in Scotland.
[end needless literary accuracy critique]


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## Maseur Shado (Jun 7, 2005)

Mark2006 said:


> Maseur Shado, I think you need to have a bit more faith in men. Just because you can't get a date doesn't mean all men go for the same type of girl. And the same goes for guys too, sitting around complaining that you're 40 years old and still a virgin. You have to stop and think why that is? The problem isn't with the opposite sex, it's with yourself.


Oh, half of the problem certainly does lie with me. I'm far too aware of that. I'm so ugly that I turn straight people gay, and gay people straight. No one has to point out the obvious on that. But what do I do about it? What it would take to make me even marginally acceptable costs money. A lot of it. We're talking implants, a facelift, liposuction (I'm not overweight, but I don't have a perfectly flat stomach). Not to mention hair extensions, because I have short hair. And Lasik, because I have glasses. And how they would accomplish giving me an appropriate personality without causing brain damage, God only knows. :roll

So, even if the problem lies exclusively with me, or with anyone else who happens to be in the same situation, what's to be done? Not much, unless you're rolling around in piles of cash.

The only thing that's left to be done is to stay alone the rest of my life. I acknowledge that. But that doesn't mean I can't be angry at the way human nature is designed. And I won't sit meekly in a corner and pretend that all's right with the world when it comes to matters of the heart. NOBODY should have to. If they're angry about it, then they have every right. Male or female, it's an equal opportunity gripe that way.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

> The problem isn't with the opposite sex, it's with yourself.


Not necessarily. The opposite sex just may not like you.


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## Mark2006 (Nov 15, 2005)

Zephyr said:


> > The problem isn't with the opposite sex, it's with yourself.
> 
> 
> Not necessarily. The opposite sex just may not like you.


The world has a population of 6.2 billion. I'm sure there is someone out there for everybody.

And Maseur Shado, please don't take my remark as meaning that you are ugly. I never said that. I just mean to say that not all guys like free and easy, pumped up silicone barbie dolls.

(I for one can't stand all that cosmetic surgery crap. You can always tell a girl with implants and it NEVER looks natural.)


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## Maseur Shado (Jun 7, 2005)

Mark2006 said:


> The world has a population of 6.2 billion. I'm sure there is someone out there for everybody.
> 
> And Maseur Shado, please don't take my remark as meaning that you are ugly. I never said that. I just mean to say that not all guys like free and easy, pumped up silicone barbie dolls.


1. The fact there is so many people in the world makes it less likely that each person will find the one. Nine times out of ten, they find the "okay, you'll do for now" person. Now that I think about it, that's the primary reason for divorce. :lol

2. Oh, but it's an obvious truth. No one ever has to say it directly. The obvious is obvious that way. I'm well accquainted with that particular obvious. :b


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## Mark2006 (Nov 15, 2005)

Maseur Shado said:


> 1. The fact there is so many people in the world makes it less likely that each person will find the one. Nine times out of ten, they find the "okay, you'll do for now" person. Now that I think about it, that's the primary reason for divorce. :lol


Can't argue there. Not many people do find the 'one'. Love in many cases does not last forever. But like Tennyson once said "It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all". Life is too short, to hold out for the hope of finding the perfect man.



Maseur Shado said:


> 2. Oh, but it's an obvious truth. No one ever has to say it directly. The obvious is obvious that way. I'm well accquainted with that particular obvious. :b


Maybe the reason why no one has ever said it directly is because it isn't true? Have you ever thought that maybe it's all in your head?
I think you are way too down on yourself. Instead of beating yourself over the head all the time, why not go out into the world and show the guys exactly what they are missing out on (and no I don't mean getting on a table and stripping off :lol ).


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## Maseur Shado (Jun 7, 2005)

1. I've loved and lost. And they were all imperfect. Utterly. I've never even had what could be called "passable". 

2. Actually, I have been told directly that I was ugly. And it's been inferred in many other ways over the years. I was never asked out on dates, except by the four idiots I wound up dating. Oh, and about five or six other guys. That's it. From the age of 18 until the age of 29. (No dates in high school because I was being sexually harrassed for being a...well, the rude term for a lesbian. Just because I wore loose clothes, kept my hair short, and didn't talk to anybody). So, when I say it's an obvious truth, it is.

I'm some kind of Quasimoda anomaly that way. Makes for something to put on the resume/CV, doesn't it? :b


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## z.e. (Feb 26, 2005)

Molten Universe said:


> [quote="z.e.":0d3c8]Just so everyone knows, the phrase "There's something rotten in the state of denmark" is from Macbeth.


Actually it's from Hamlet, Act One Scene Four.
Macbeth takes place in Scotland.
[end needless literary accuracy critique][/quote:0d3c8]

Tousche! Thanks for the correction. I should have gone to that AP English class more often my senior year.


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## Karla (Dec 26, 2005)

Molten Universe said:


> [quote="z.e.":5e5e4]Just so everyone knows, the phrase "There's something rotten in the state of denmark" is from Macbeth.


Actually it's from Hamlet, Act One Scene Four.
Macbeth takes place in Scotland.
[end needless literary accuracy critique][/quote:5e5e4]

did you know that without having to look it up?


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## z.e. (Feb 26, 2005)

I should have looked it up.


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## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

Karla said:


> Molten Universe said:
> 
> 
> > [quote="z.e.":facc8]Just so everyone knows, the phrase "There's something rotten in the state of denmark" is from Macbeth.
> ...


did you know that without having to look it up?[/quote:facc8]

I knew it was from Hamlet, but I had to consult the text to find the exact location...


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## Maseur Shado (Jun 7, 2005)

Annnd with that, I think this thread can safely be kicked screaming into the abyss. Same can be said for the thread starter (minus the screaming).


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## seagreen16 (Sep 24, 2005)

Maseur Shado said:


> I'm so ugly that I turn straight people gay, and gay people straight. No one has to point out the obvious on that. But what do I do about it? What it would take to make me even marginally acceptable costs money. A lot of it. We're talking implants, a facelift, liposuction (I'm not overweight, but I don't have a perfectly flat stomach). Not to mention hair extensions, because I have short hair. And Lasik, because I have glasses. And how they would accomplish giving me an appropriate personality without causing brain damage, God only knows. :roll


It is really bad that you say that you are ugly. I bet you are not as ugly as you think you are. You are the one who feels you are ugly. You mentioned that people have told you that you are ugly. Well, it happens sometimes. People say a lot of stupid, hateful things, but it is best for your own self-esteem if you can put it behind you and just forget it. It's one thing that they said it, but the real problem is that you BELIEVE it and use it to make yourself feel bad and cut yourself down. I've been told many times in my life that I'm not pretty. It's not exactly the same thing as being called ugly, but I've been told by a guy who liked me I'm not a top pick for a girl. I'm just like why do you have to tell me that? You know what I figured out? It's because I had a lot of self-confidence in myself. I had a lot of self-confidence in myself, and perhaps these guys wanted to take it down a notch. Maybe they're like why does she have a lot of self-confidence when she isn't that good-looking? I don't know.. it's just wierd that people would tell me that to my face. I carried that around with me for a long time and just made myself feel awful because of it. Just reminded myself that every time I looked at myself. It does shake your confidence when you are always telling yourself that you don't look good. I finally let it go and am probably happier because of it. Actually I think you have to accept how you look and try to make the most out of it. If you feel confident about yourself, you will be more attractive to other people. It won't turn you into Halle Berry (or whoever you think is pretty), but it is a good thing anyhow. If you feel you are special and can rise above caring what everyone thinks about you, people will respect you and find you interesting too. I had a lot of trouble feeling good about how I look too. There are books on learning to accept and love your body/face/self. Lots of women have this issue with their appearance. In the end, it's not really about how you look, but how you feel about yourself. Looks will fade, and if you feel good about yourself, that will last and you will have something real that can't be had by having perfect features. If you are comfortable in your skin, others will be attracted to that too. I'm working on this one also. So I'm saying that you should improve your attitude about yourself so you stop cutting yourself down. This might not help you find the person of your dreams, but it won't hurt either. If you really want to improve your appearance, then read some books or magazines on makeup, skin care, etc., or watch those makeover shows. An easy way to make yourself look better is to work out. You will look healthy, and looking healthy is the foundation to looking good.


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## zippedlips (Feb 3, 2004)

I only read the first page, but it seems most people are confusing "nice" with "boring push-over".


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## RX2000 (Jan 25, 2004)

I love nice girls. My fiancee is an extremely nice girl. She would die before she danced topless on a pole, lol. 

But seriously, maybe it has something to do with my SA, I dunno, but I would much rather have a semi-shy or shy laid back girl than some crazy chick.


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

Just because a girl dances topless on a pole doesn't mean she can't be a nice girl. >_>


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## GTI79 (Feb 2, 2004)

Prodigal_Son said:


> Just because a girl dances topless on a pole doesn't mean she can't be a nice girl. >_>


 :lol


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

I honestly don't think it matters what you look like. I know a few very obese girls who have steady boyfriends and one even got a marriage proposal. I think that confidence counts. And that you are friendly, personable, easy to talk too, but not so friendly that you are a doormat.


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

Great, now I'm going to sound shallow. But looks do matter. At least to me and probably a majority of the male population.

A girl doesn't have to be drop dead gorgeous but at least a woman that looks like she takes care of her body and works out every now and then is a huge turn on IMO.


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## Luscious Luke (Nov 12, 2003)

Agreed. Women who haven't already faced the fact need to. Nature built males to be attracted to beauty. Looks before personality. Women can hate that fact all they want, even deny it, but you are going to attract a lot more male interest with sexiness than with a great personality.

I actually consider the beautiful nice girl to be the most prized type of woman there is. I love a nice, sweet, sometimes even shy woman. You can be so comfortable with them. *****iness and ****iness has always been a huge turnoff for me and I don't know how it wouldn't be for any other guy looking for a serious relationship.

Women who aren't at all attractive and think that their problem is that they are nice are focusing completely on the wrong problem. It's ugly and it's enfuriating but it's true.


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## RX2000 (Jan 25, 2004)

My fiancee is an EXTREMELY "nice" girl.

I detest the "getting-on-tables-and-dancing" easy type of girls.

I LOVE nice.


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

Prodigal_Son said:


> Great, now I'm going to sound shallow. But looks do matter. At least to me and probably a majority of the male population.
> 
> A girl doesn't have to be drop dead gorgeous but at least a woman that looks like she takes care of her body and works out every now and then is a huge turn on IMO.


I agree that most males are attracted to good looks, females are too. But then why do I see obese girls (people who society generally find unattractive) get boyfriends? I'm not saying that obese girls shouldn't get boyfriends; everyone is entitled to love. What puzzles me is that I am slim and healthy-looking and yet I hardly ever get hit on. Good looks play a role in nabbing a date, but I truly believe that confidence plays an important role also. Confidence, which is channelled through body language, tends to make us look more attractive, thus more desirable. As a result, a plain girl who stands up straight, shoulders back, smiles, and talks easily might appear more desirable than a natural beauty who slouches, frowns often, and turns away when you make eye contact.


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## Madmonkeypoo (May 3, 2004)

Maseur Shado said:


> Nice girls never win when it comes to relationships. Either they never get asked out, or they get dates with forty grade rejects. And why should that be the case?
> 
> You always hear about the "nice guy" syndrome, and I'll admit that can be terrible. But guys, stop and think for a minute. Do you think it's any easier for the females who are like you? Because guess what, THEY EXIST. They're the ones staying in the background, not making complete idiots of themselves by getting on top of tables and dancing topless. But do you ever want them? You say so, but it's amazing how often what gets your motors running are those girls that are, shall we say, "easy"? Why is that? Not all easy girls are attractive. A lot of nice girls aren't ugly, either. Plain, perhaps, but plain does not equal ugly. It's just unadorned.
> 
> ...


 You hit the nail on the bleepin' head. I kiss your feet for saying it so well. :nw

I hate it when people say that I'm a "nice" person. Not just because I don't believe them (thank you SA) but because, to me, "nice" is just a fake positive way of saying "You're a nice person, but not nice _enough _to date." I'm a good person to know, but not a _good _person to be in a relationship with. That's how I feel every time I hear it. I can graduate at the top of my class, get straight A's, scholarships, and internships all I want. But because I'm nice, no guy is ever going to find me worthy enough to date.

Brains but no looks, grace but no glamor, sugar but no spice.

And this "niceness" seems to attract the lowest of the low like Masuer Shado said, ie drug addicts, criminals, mentally insane, creepazoids, etc. It's like they look at us and say "Easy target! Vulnerability!" It's really depressing when the only flirt you can get is from a toothless 50 yr old scavenger or some 40 year old circling around schools looking for a teenage quickie. Yeah, I should be really grateful I at least get that :roll ....



Prodigal_Son said:


> Great, now I'm going to sound shallow. But looks do matter. At least to me and probably a majority of the male population.
> 
> A girl doesn't have to be drop dead gorgeous but at least a woman that looks like she takes care of her body and works out every now and then is a huge turn on IMO.


... after all, since I'm 'overweight' for whatever the cause (medical or other), I must not be _taking care of myself _or working out enough so I'm not quite the turn-on-nice-girl decent guys are looking for. I guess trying live a decent life, the All-American Dream of a good home, advanced education, and a respectable career aren't enough for most people anymore. Maybe if I had abandonned my studies in school and paid more attention to my figure and simply carry around a paperback of Shakespeare, I would have had more dates by now. My mistake.

P.S. I only skimmed through the first 4 pages of this thread so forgive me if my rant has already been discussed in full detail.


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## slurpazillia (Nov 18, 2005)

:banana


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

> Women who aren't at all attractive and think that their problem is that they are nice are focusing completely on the wrong problem. It's ugly and it's enfuriating but it's true.


Yeah. It's same with guys who're unattractive - you won't get attention from women.


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

Madmonkeypoo said:


> ... after all, since I'm 'overweight' for whatever the cause (medical or other), I must not be _taking care of myself _or working out enough so I'm not quite the turn-on-nice-girl decent guys are looking for. I guess trying live a decent life, the All-American Dream of a good home, advanced education, and a respectable career aren't enough for most people anymore. Maybe if I had abandonned my studies in school and paid more attention to my figure and simply carry around a paperback of Shakespeare, I would have had more dates by now. My mistake.


No reason you can't work on your career and focus on getting in better shape.


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## On the way (Feb 9, 2006)

I don't get it. 

I love nice girls. 

Don't get me wrong -- I love ****ty girls, too (lol). But what's better than a nice girl? 

Of course, the ideal is a nice girl with just a touchy of ****ty.


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

Just because a girl acts ****ty doesnt mean she is a ****. And if she is a 100% **** doesn't mean she isn't a nice girl.


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## free thinker (Nov 11, 2003)

Prodigal_Son said:


> And if she is a 100% **** doesn't mean she isn't a nice girl.


But isn't, not being a ****, the primary characteristic of a nice girl?

Personally, I prefer "nice girls" and wouldn't even consider having a relationship with someone who is promoting themselves as sexually easy.


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

I guess, just different definitions for me then. I think of a nice girl as someone who is caring, understanding, compationate and well nice to you/others.

Not neccessarily having to do with sexuality.

Example: Being a ***** isn't a nice girl.


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## Argo (May 1, 2005)

free thinker said:


> But isn't, not being a ****, the primary characteristic of a nice girl?


I thought being nice was the primary characteristic of a nice girl. You know, being friendly, polite, giving a helping hand.


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## On the way (Feb 9, 2006)

free thinker said:


> [quote="Prodigal_Son":50a52] And if she is a 100% **** doesn't mean she isn't a nice girl.


But isn't, not being a ****, the primary characteristic of a nice girl?
[/quote:50a52]

I never thought of it primarily in sexual terms. I thought we were talking about "nice" as in "kind, loving," etc.


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## free thinker (Nov 11, 2003)

I guess my understanding of the phrase "nice girl" demonstates that I am from a different generation from most posting in this thread. When I was growing up there were "nice girls" and then there were "bad girls." If you are curious about this, some here might want to check with their parents to find out what connotation the phrase "nice girl" had when they were growing up.


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## jerzeyb (Nov 19, 2005)

whiteclouds said:


> Prodigal_Son said:
> 
> 
> > Great, now I'm going to sound shallow. But looks do matter. At least to me and probably a majority of the male population.
> ...


i think you may have accidentally hit the nail on the head with your last statement. it may not have seemed obvious to you when you wrote it but it sure was when i read it. to recap, you wrote, ....'and turns away when you make eye contact.'....this is quite possibly the biggest mistake made by those of us who have SA. i know if i am 'checking out' a girl and she turns away as soon as we make eye contact, i consider her no longer an option. in most cases i assume she is looking away in disgust. this may or not be the case...for all i know she is just a 'nice, shy girl', but i feel like if she was interested she would at least smile. i know i may sound hypocritical since i also look away whenever i make eye contact with an attractive girl, but it is something i know i must work on.


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## matt404 (Feb 8, 2006)

Anybody else think those "Being Nice to People" interpersonal rules they teach you in kindergarten should come with a warning label? Like: 

"WARNING: We're only kidding. Do not under any circumstances attempt to exercise any of these rules in your personal or professional life. In the unfortunate event that you take any of these rules to heart there is an increased risk that you will grow up to be a 'nice' girl or guy and spend the rest of your life alone wondering why everyone else is suck a d*ck."



//Just kidding. . . . kind of. 
//likes nice girls


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## Your Lover Scrub Ducky (Jul 26, 2004)

im sick of the crazy, partying, bad girl type. unfortunatley they're usually the only ones to make the first move and are more forward with their feelings, which is nice if you have SA 

it would nice to have a nice/shy good girl... of course, that would most likely mean i'd have to approach them...


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## Meta Ridley (Jun 2, 2005)

pixiedust said:


> :agree
> 
> from one nice girl to another.
> 
> Although i don't think I've ever heard a guy say they wanted a nice girl.


I do. There's one girl I'm planning to ask out at work for that reason.


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

jerzeyb said:


> to recap, you wrote, ....'and turns away when you make eye contact.'....this is quite possibly the biggest mistake made by those of us who have SA. i know if i am 'checking out' a girl and she turns away as soon as we make eye contact, i consider her no longer an option.


Yes. A lot of people see the turn away as the nonverbal, "Leave me alone."


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## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

I like girls who are nice. But they have to be more than just nice. It's unforutnate, but for me, looks plays a fairly big part. The ways of improving them are excercise/diet and fashion. Go for a look that is not too ****ty and not too conservative--that will probably give you the most wanted attention. It also helps to make eye contact and smile when you see someone you like. Online dating is probably easier too for a girl. But if you want to not date "rejects" (as you put it), you should invest more time on improving yourself.


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## Failure (Feb 4, 2007)

Well MANY more guys prefer quiet and shy women then the other way around. I don't think I know a guy who would turn down a girl because she's shy or quiet. Alot of guys like that because then they don't have to listen to her talking all the time. And quieter girls are usually easier to get along with and calmer. Thats a positive i think at least.

There has to be a phyiscal attraction for most people as well, if you're ugly not many people wil want to be more then friends. 

Unless you're face is paper-bag material (and even then some guys don't care as long as you have a good body) all you need to do is get into shape if you want a guy to hit on you. Try crunches, running and eating less. It works. You said you didn't want ugly guys or somthing i think...if that's true get in shape your self. 

If you want decent guys to approach you and try to get to know you then you need to at least look acceptable. I'd say dressing moderatly for the kind of attention you want. If you dress like a **** and get guys wanting nothing more then sex hitting on you you basically asked for it when you walked out of the door like that.

You cant expect to sit around and eat and be lazy all day and have guys who are ripped to hit on you. Why would they when they can get a girl who looks beter and could be a good person as well?

I don't think many guys even mind a girl who acts like a doormat, unless it gets to the point of where it's annoying, needy, and clingy. Unless you're annoying or somthing it's probably your looks that are the problem.


Ideally what I'd want a girl who is nice, i don't like *****y girls or whores. I'd want a nice, pretty girl who wouldn't mind staying home and watching TV/movies and playing shooter games with me...but that's a dream heh.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

I tend to think I'm one of those nice and pretty girls, but I know there will always be another girl who looks better than me, has more going for herself, much more outgoing, etc. I guess it's all about finding someone who is really into _me_...someone I'm actually into as well.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

I couldn't tell you who the nice girls are. The quiet ones come off a standoffish almost like they don't want to be bothered with you so you don't bother them especially when you have this anxiety thing. 

Those that are loud and pay direct attention to you let you know they have interest make it easier on the guy. he knows they have interest, lol. but that being said whether you're a good or bad girl there are a lot of bad or subpar guys. In my area it's okay though because the girls are catching up, lol.


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## LoneLioness (Nov 16, 2003)

Nice guys like nice girls, if they don't then their not really nice guys. It's just that nice people are extremly rare, you get plenty of people claiming to be nice, yet they care about all this superficial stuff more then the persons personality or what hobbies and things they have in common. I've talked to local guys on online dating sites many of times and the ones that do reply (I suppose I'm not good looking enough for the ones that never answer my first email, nevermind the fact that they were all average or below looking :roll) usually stop talking to me after a short while. They must have a problem with my social anxiety, or my not having a job, neither of which a truely nice guy would reject someone for.


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## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

LoneLioness said:


> They must have a problem with my social anxiety, or my not having a job, neither of which a truely nice guy would reject someone for.


I might beg to differ on the job part, especially if you plan to live together. In that case, you both have to work to pay the bills.


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## LoneLioness (Nov 16, 2003)

PGVan said:


> LoneLioness said:
> 
> 
> > They must have a problem with my social anxiety, or my not having a job, neither of which a truely nice guy would reject someone for.
> ...


I'm on SSI, so I do have some money coming in. Even if I didn't I still don't think it should be a dealbreaker. Somehow guys just seem to think not working makes someone a horrible person, I don't think the not bringing in money part is their issue, they seem to think that in order to better your life you must be working or at least looking to work :roll Maybe I'm bettering my life by not working, but of course no guy (within 50 miles of me anyway) is openminded enough to see that.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

I agree that nice people are rare. That's the problem. Guys are excellent actors with that "nice guy" role, but I'm not falling for that bull**** until he really proves himself to me. Live n' learn...


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

LoneLioness said:


> PGVan said:
> 
> 
> > LoneLioness said:
> ...


If a guy doesn't talk to you because you don't work or whatever the case may be, he's not worth your time anyway. The truth is people have certain things they look for in another person and if you don't fit the bill, they're usually quick to move on. **** 'em.


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## LoneLioness (Nov 16, 2003)

Strange Religion said:


> LoneLioness said:
> 
> 
> > PGVan said:
> ...


Thats true. I suppose I hate the ones that pretended to be ok with it even more, like my cyber ex who I later found out wasn't ok with it and told me he thought I'd change. Seems to be the case with every guy I attract, they always want to change something on me and when they realize its not gonna happen they just stop talking to me.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

I'm sorry a lot of people (me included) have such a difficult time with dating. Is it really a 'nice' girls/guys thing or just an SA thing? Do people without SA have this problem to the same extent as us? I would have thought they would meet people through their friends.


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## kev (Jan 28, 2005)

It's not a matter of being nice, it's probably a matter of being shy. You could debate the issue all day long about whether nice girls or "****ty" girls are more attractive, but it really doesn't matter because you don't need _everyone_ to like you, you just need _someone_ to like you. I am very fond of "nice" girls and "****ty" girls I sometimes just laugh at. Guys are afraid of rejection though. The more open and easy a girl appears, the more likely a guy will approach her. It's unfortunate but probably true.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

*Re: re: Nice girls never win*



kev said:


> Guys are afraid of rejection though. The more open and easy a girl appears, the more likely a guy will approach her. It's unfortunate but probably true.


I might be in the minority here, but I don't see anything inherently wrong with being open or "easy."


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## SebFontain (Jan 27, 2004)

Nice Girls never win... Nice Guys never win... Someone needs to make a dating site for nice guys and gals it seems.


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## Failure (Feb 4, 2007)

Nice =/ Shy

Shy people have trouble getting relationships. This goes for doormats too.

Nice people do not unless they are shy as well.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

*Re: re: Nice girls never win*



srschirm said:


> kev said:
> 
> 
> > Guys are afraid of rejection though. The more open and easy a girl appears, the more likely a guy will approach her. It's unfortunate but probably true.
> ...


Unless he means easy as in sleazy, I don't know...
I do consider myself open and easy though because I'm nice and down-to-Earth. I'm not a doormat though, I won't let anyone treat me any kind of way. Guys definitely approach me. Unfortunately it's usually the ones I have zero interest in.

I agree Seb, no impersonators allowed!


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## GaryUranga (Apr 22, 2006)

I have about 5 girls that show interest for me, however I mostly like the "nice" girls better than the other ones


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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

A nice girl is more likely to get hurt than a not so nice girl.


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## Arkturus (Dec 10, 2006)

. . .


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## Optimistic (Nov 4, 2006)

*Re: re: Nice girls never win*



Strange Religion said:


> I agree that nice people are rare. That's the problem. Guys are excellent actors with that "nice guy" role, but I'm not falling for that @#%$ until he really proves himself to me. Live n' learn...


Maybe I've grown up amongst a different crowd or something. I don't believe "nice people are rare." I'm not about to say that everyone is nice, but I've met plenty men and women who were/are good people.

I don't really know how "nice" is defined in this thread. If we mean not sleazy, where would we draw the line in terms of what's sleazy or not? Certainly if we were to say that anyone who isn't abstinent until marriage is sleazy, a lot of ppl wouldn't be "nice."

If "nice" means shy/quiet, then perhaps there's a 50/50 split between nice and mean for both sexes. If "nice" means never play games or lie, then probably no one is nice. Virtually everyone lies or plays head games at some point either in a relationship or while dating. It doesn't mean they are evil people.

Neither a nice guy or a nice girl is rare unless you're meeting the wrong people or your definition is very stringent.


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## embers (Dec 19, 2006)

I'm kind of b*tchy, especially with nice guys. If they're too nice and kiss my butt, I turn evil. The thing is, they like this more and try harder with me. Also, I like the bad boys, I turn to mush and all sweet with them. I just end up getting hurt of course. Its probably a way to avoid intimacy.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

*Re: re: Nice girls never win*



Optimistic said:


> Strange Religion said:
> 
> 
> > I agree that nice people are rare. That's the problem. Guys are excellent actors with that "nice guy" role, but I'm not falling for that @#%$ until he really proves himself to me. Live n' learn...
> ...


I mean someone who will treat me right, call when he says he's going to call, make time for me and not excuses, actually try to win me over...
I don't need any mind games.

...and I still believe nice guys are rare. My opinion isn't going to change on that. I've run into enough douchebags. I'm over it.


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## LonelyEnigma (Jan 7, 2007)

....


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## Maseur Shado (Jun 7, 2005)

Was there something in the water that inspired one of you to raise up this old thread? God, it's not like the old bag who posted it in the first place was actually saying anything important. It can't be that slow around here. :b


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## emptybottle (Jan 3, 2005)

*Re: re: Nice girls never win*



Lonelyheart25 said:


> In fact, I've turned down offers from attractive ****s, hoes, and b!tches.


Did you know these women well enough to label them this way?


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Probably not and those same labels can apply to guys too.


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