# Cliques / groups at work - make you feel left out?



## NotLovedRejected (Sep 21, 2014)

So I work for a large sized health company, put it that way. The majority of the employees are females. There are a good handful of males. I believe the old-timers who have been employed here at my company usually mingle together. There are also the cliques who like to talk stink/sh-t about other co-workers, especially the new-hires.

Then, there are those cliques where certain groups of people who only work on certain days with each other. Or you have the two employees who take lunch breaks together, or heck, any break time together.

It's as if they're very good friends. But it gets annoying when they have a strong clique, and then you (or me), feel left out or ostracized.

I thought all of this sh-t ended in high school? No? Seems quite immature to me.

I don't mind groups or cliques. The annoying part is that I start to talk to one of the two, or one of the three or four in a group, and then the person I talk to, starts to get distant from me couple weeks later.

I also go to occasional company meetings or departmental meetings, and see the cliques seated together. The cliques are divided up either by job position/ranks within my company or by who you know. But mainly, it's the job position where people mingle together.

Sometimes, the girls get "catty" where they like to talk sh-t about certain co-workers, which is number one, unprofessional, and number two, unnecessary. From the behaviors and demeanor of a good handful of co-workers in various departments I work in, I get a feeling that I am a victim/target of this kind of "lateral violence." :no
This kind of lateral violence and cattiness is an obstacle for me to get promotions.:|

Do you fellow SAS brothers/sisters have this kind of "cliques" at your work place where you feel left out? Or cliques that like to talk smack about your job performance behind your back?


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## meandernorth (Nov 12, 2014)

I have worked in office environments that were WORSE than high school. Myself, I was working a long-term assignment for a Temp agency at a large Health Insurance company. Some of the infantile stuff that went on was just silly. But it was in the culture, apparently. When they offered me a permanent position, I declined. That wasn't the only reason but it certainly was one of them.

I knew my job performance was good or I wouldn't have been offered permanency. But some people have nothing better to talk about so...


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## Hayman (Dec 27, 2014)

I've only ever worked in two different places since 2001 (when I left school), but there's been notable cliques at both of them. 

In my first job, I started out working in the accounts department with the finance director. She'd happily laugh and joke with fellow directors, managers and certain sales reps but the general staff…? You'd go well to get a sentence out of her. Most things were one or two word grunts and she'd look at you as if you'd done something wrong. If you happened to be in the same room as someone who she did speak to, she'd speak to them and completely ignore you. She'd make sure you were butted out of the conversation and you were sure made to feel second class or unimportant. 

Other than that, the office staff at the different depots were generally pleasant enough to one another and the same goes for the workshops at the depots. The managers and sales reps generally talked to everyone and weren't snotty. It was our finance director who tried to turn it that way whilst she was around. She's one of the reasons why I suffer from SA as badly as I do (and bouts of depression) - and I've not even worked there for four and a half years now.

In my current job, the warehouse downstairs generally don't get on with anyone. There’s only a couple who I feel comfortable talking to. The rest have huge chips on their shoulders and most months it's because of a different issue. Upstairs in the office, the women (most of the workforce) generally talk to one another and go out on regular social get-togethers. The two longest serving members are close. When I first started, they did try to include me and to be fair I forced myself to attend quite a few of their events. However, it become clear after a few that I was simply a spare part. They’d welcome me on arrival and then I'd pretty much sit there in silence until I decided to go home. If I was talked to, it was basically to be made a joke of, or they were finding reasons to disagree with me over one thing or another. I no longer attend any of these parties and they no longer invite me. I'm really not fussed any more... It's more of a relief than anything.

In the workplace, I don't think I've ever come across as many two-faced or pedantic people put together into one large room in my life. I work right opposite one of the main 'ringleaders' when it comes to being pedantic. You'll never be allowed to have the final word in any discussion and whatever you say will be amended/corrected. If anything goes wrong - the 'finger of blame' always gets pointed in my direction. I presume this because barring the Office Manager, I'm the only other male in the room. An easy target. 

To be honest, I've gone past caring. As long as my bosses are happy, that's all that really matters at the end of the day. I know a couple of my female colleagues talk about me behind my back (I have very strong evidence in one case) but I generally get on well with the office manager and surprisingly well with one of the directors. That's all that I care about.


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## thinkstoomuch101 (Jun 7, 2012)

i've worked in large metropolitan hospitals where there are plenty of cliques. The gays, (San Francisco) - "if you're straight, you don't rate." Was what one night nurse told me. And yes, i'm straight, and for a while, i "did not rate". Talk about catty? They have that **** on lock-down. 

But it was nothing to worry about, if you were really good at your job. When i earned their respect? There wasn't anything we wouldn't do for each other job-wise. Which was really cool. But i never was interested in being in cliques, personally.

Larger metropolitan medical facilities do have their cliques. But there is an advantage to it. They're usually very busy most days, or you get transferred around to different units, it takes a while before your reputation to stick or catch up to you. Whether it's good or bad. Many times, you'll have a great reputation in a place that you like, and it shows in your work.

In smaller towns? cliques can be lethal to your job/career. Why? Because everyone will know about your personal business, work performance, as well as your mistakes on and off the job. They have nothing else better to do but talk in those environments.

What's worse in small towns, if you don't "fit into " their cliques - regardless of your work performance? There's a better chance of being fired or basically "run out of town".. due to not "conforming" to their way of thinking/life.

Then of course, there's the cultural cliques. Working here in Mexico/NM, i was annoyed at how racist/fearful hispanics are of other cultures. In the hospital i worked, there were obvious cultural cliques. The whites stayed in Management or higher skill level jobs, the hispanics all worked in x-ray and transport - and ran out all of the white students or potential employees. With just one token white in that dept. who was usually their informant.

I definitely remember 2 white employees who finally left that dept. They claimed that they were both "ran out of there". I had befriended one of the x-ray workers, and abruptly broke off the friendship after hearing: "We, ******* stick together".. 

I don't consider myself a ******, and i sure as hell wasn't interested in "sticking" with a group anyway.


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