# quiet people cant make it in a career?



## newgame (Aug 21, 2013)

.... well at least from my point of view.

it is really hard for people like me to climb in the corporate world, too many people are outgoing/extroverted/bold/initiative, and here I am only try to sit there at the small cubicle trying to keep my life simple, avoiding as much human contact as possible, basically in my own world. :no

Maybe I would prefer a job where I don't need to maintain my responsibility after work hours.. but the world just doesn't seems to work that way..


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

Good statement

I'm always the quiet boy in the corner in the office, who gets mocked and disliked.

The big boss material people are made of psyches I can't understand. I think of everyone who shouts and has too low an iQ to be able to speak to. Simpletons. 

My confidence is in accusing people over grammar and what words mean, being very critical. No shouting, screaming. I gently approach extraverts talking softly with an occasional slam on their desk. Know this? Makes sense?! YES. NO?!

example:
Actually my plumber was here today to help as required.

I think he subtly mocks me for being an old granny. When fixes are done due to my leakage to the place below, he charges a fee, while he dismantled the toilet cistern and block the overflow pipe which caused horrible brown damp below. I say: I didn't make it leak! The apartments are designed by cowboys and I see floods coming out of the plastic pipe for each floor, all over the street.

I watch him doing everything. He seems a bit nervous as I ask questions - maybe like a boss checking his competency. I learn in offices as a priority - from a plumber - I'll do my fixes next time. He waves goodbye when he leaves. I detect his attitude towards me as an old granny, if he does jobs for them; maybe he sees my SA.

He demands money and I debate that. Who's the culprit.

A sent a text in the week to ask for a dripping tap problem. I hate using the phone His respons e was 'I'll pop in tomorrow' and sounds like a granny.

I never let anything go until resolved - like in the offices I've been, and I easily get rejected with a hard hand when people don't understand my explanation. Everything is easy for simpletons. This morning, the shower is still dripping after his fix, so I'll get onto that before the payment he wants. He wants to return and charge for another part for a boiler and change other taps. He asked for a cheque and I'm glad I said not until everything is complete. I've checked prices for parts, and he won't get money from me for anything more

But any logical talking clash with anyone sets me into a collapsing timid ball of nerves. This is why I fail at interview

I hate it. Interview this afternoon.


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## e200e (Mar 31, 2013)

I can I know I can it does suck a lot I work with a lot of extroverts and its like their always competing whos better. Theyre are loud and obnoxious always trying to gain more attention then one another I cant keep up with it they drive me nuts. Im the quiet guy and I get mocked and made fun of a lot. I still work hard and I get acknowledged from time to time.


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## Leafpool (Aug 2, 2013)

I feel you so bad. I got my first job at a clothing store and just a contract for 3 months and they have told me I struggle with direction and need follow ups a lot. I am often told to greet or talk to customers more. Basically me being quiet is a bad thing. They want me to be in the customer's face. I am just so sick of people not understanding the introvert. I feel the same way. How will I ever be successful when I am to quiet?


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## LSF (Sep 4, 2013)

I feel the same...


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## BigBlueMoon (Feb 7, 2013)

What you said is the incontrovertible truth in life. Our society favours extroverts in a very obvious way, and proper socialization and communication with others is an essential if you want to uphold a certain standard in life.


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## Melodies0fLife (Sep 17, 2012)

I'm pretty quiet at my workplace so people rarely take notice and my supervisors don't go to me when they need special things done. Although I have the knowledge and skills to do more things, because I am quiet, they think I am not interested or that I won't be able to do it. I don't blame them though; my laid back attitude at work means I don't take a lot of initiation. In my dance group, however, I am the most passionate person there and I take a lot of initiation to learn new things and choreograph new dances. Of course I am still mostly quiet in my dance group but since I have a very strong drive to improve my dance, my group notices that and they made me second in command. I'm just not passionate about my work so I don't have the same drive and attitude in the work environment so end up being the quiet girl in the corner that doesn't do much... :blank


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## NumeroUno (Oct 23, 2009)

Yup, I feel this. I'm a trainee accountant, and even they need to be pretty extroverted at least where I work (e.g going over stuff monthly with various budget holders e.g I.T manager, General office costs, H.R) and also speaking regularly with the Housing Development team when we need to make or recieve big payments (like 50k plus) or attending meetings. I hate the office world - truely, I've only been working in a office environment for about 18 months and everyday I'm sick of it and want to leave desperately. The politics. The meetings. The *** kissings. The needing to put work before life aspect - i'm lucky I don't have to commute far or answer ''out of office'' emails yet. I hate the whole culture of it. Yet I have to stick at it because I was lucky to get this shot and I have no other option right now - training paid for, full salary, and once I qualify a good chance of a job with a GOOD salary.

I also hate the people who I know I'm academically brighter than but I know will go further because they're more extroverted. You'd think people would put more faith in the quiet guy who always looks busy pouring over Excel and various reports and figures but it doesn't work that way from my experience.


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## lordseshomaru86 (Aug 13, 2013)

newgame said:


> .... well at least from my point of view.
> 
> it is really hard for people like me to climb in the corporate world, too many people are outgoing/extroverted/bold/initiative, and here I am only try to sit there at the small cubicle trying to keep my life simple, avoiding as much human contact as possible, basically in my own world. :no
> 
> Maybe I would prefer a job where I don't need to maintain my responsibility after work hours.. but the world just doesn't seems to work that way..


I disagree with this idea, it implies that quiet people are unable to stand up for themselves or actively go after what they want, which just isn't true. There's a difference between being quiet and being unassertive.


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

I think quiet people can fit in quite nicely in the right work environment.


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## newgame (Aug 21, 2013)

Melodies0fLife said:


> I'm pretty quiet at my workplace so people rarely take notice and my supervisors don't go to me when they need special things done. Although I have the knowledge and skills to do more things, because I am quiet, they think I am not interested or that I won't be able to do it. I don't blame them though; my laid back attitude at work means I don't take a lot of initiation. In my dance group, however, I am the most passionate person there and I take a lot of initiation to learn new things and choreograph new dances. Of course I am still mostly quiet in my dance group but since I have a very strong drive to improve my dance, my group notices that and they made me second in command. I'm just not passionate about my work so I don't have the same drive and attitude in the work environment so end up being the quiet girl in the corner that doesn't do much... :blank


Nice, I really hope I can be like that too, I am quite passive even with my hobby now, still at beginner-intermediate stage getting stuck here and there.. but still have to continue working hard! I also lack that drive when it comes to working



lordseshomaru86 said:


> I disagree with this idea, it implies that quiet people are unable to stand up for themselves or actively go after what they want, which just isn't true. There's a difference between being quiet and being unassertive.


Hey thanks for the feedback, it could be a lack of interest in the field I am working in right now... and also probably a wrong choice of word.


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## ANXPhoenix (Mar 17, 2013)

For me I am quiet, and passive for the most part, but there's a certain ethical drive that makes me try to do my best and make things the best that they can be. So I tend to remake paperwork, write procedures, train people, find new duties to fulfill, or find a better way to do old duties, etc.

Part of it is probably how I was raised, while I think another part of it might be because of the social anxiety. By pretty much writing the rules for myself and everyone else it helps me stand out and prove that I can be just as good as anyone else even though I don't talk, and it also puts me in control for once. The obsessive fear also helps too, I have these great plans, ideas, and goals because I fear the unexpected and not having control of the situation so I prepare for everything and try to stay one step ahead of what I asked of me. 

I think it might also be that work is my social outlet. By knowing so much about my work and being so invested in it, it makes it easier to talk to people about it and make conversation. I could talk to a co-worker for hours about work stuff, but the second they ask something personal I shut down.

Overall I'd say I'm somewhat content. I've earned the respect of my coworkers even though I often feel they don't appreciate all that I do. They had this revolving supervisor position which I held on to for a while, but after a while the manager ended up giving it to a friendly, social person with a bad work ethic and no ambition for the job. For a while I was resentful of that, but it's gotten better. Right now I'm in a more social position, trying to work on improving my social skills.

So yeah, getting back on subject... With proper work ethic, planning, skill, knowledge, and execution you can advance in your careers, there's always a way to do things. In my case im kind of in an isolated branch, don't really fit the model for this career, my boss is uninvested in his work, and even with all my drive and work ethic I'm still often to afraid to put certain ideas forward, but as soon get better socially or get too frustrated with the bs I'm planning on leaving and finding a job more suited to my skills and where my drive will be more appreciated... 

Just sucks though, because I actually do like this place. If I had the social skill, a little more assertiveness, and degradation to play office politics I could probably be manager here, but I just don't have that in me. 

Also I fear that in another job I may be more restricted and they might take offense to my desire to improve things.... Regardless, though I KNOW that I could have a much better job and be a lot better off... We all could. It's just the anxiety and constant fear mongering surrounding the economy that holds us back.

It's a known fact that people with anxiety choose careers below their skills and abilities out of fear of having to do what their uncomfortable with. So I'd say quietness isn't the issue, fear and indifference... That's the issue.


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## Melodies0fLife (Sep 17, 2012)

ANXPhoenix said:


> Also I fear that in another job I may be more restricted and they might take offense to my desire to improve things.... Regardless, though I KNOW that I could have a much better job and be a lot better off... We all could. It's just the anxiety and constant fear mongering surrounding the economy that holds us back.
> 
> It's a known fact that people with anxiety choose careers below their skills and abilities out of fear of having to do what their uncomfortable with. So I'd say quietness isn't the issue, fear and indifference... That's the issue.


:agree :agree

Fear is a big thing... especially for someone with SA. We don't want to make a fool out of ourselves in front of others because we are too self conscious. That hinders initiation and "putting ourselves out there." So instead, I notice that I tend to make friends with more outgoing people at work... and I talk to them and give them ideas and support them behind the scenes but they end up getting the rewards and full recognition in return and I'm still the quiet person. :|

And its not like I'm jealous or anything because they are my friends/co-workers. But sometimes, there are just these feelings of being invisible and under appreciated because I don't put myself out there.


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## Jonsie (Sep 29, 2013)

newgame said:


> .... well at least from my point of view.
> 
> it is really hard for people like me to climb in the corporate world, too many people are outgoing/extroverted/bold/initiative, and here I am only try to sit there at the small cubicle trying to keep my life simple, avoiding as much human contact as possible, basically in my own world. :no
> 
> Maybe I would prefer a job where I don't need to maintain my responsibility after work hours.. but the world just doesn't seems to work that way..


I understand. It's a terrible feeling. I always feel as though I'll never amount to anything or have a great career, even with a college degree because I am always so paranoid, nervous and socially awkward (severely). I've always figured that since I am good with math and numbers, I'd choose a career like accounting/financial management. With accounting, you spend quite some time alone (sometimes you even take work home, so I've heard). So, this is what I am going to major in, in college once I transfer my credits. I worry about mangers and companies not hiring me because I can't work well with people, but maybe if I worked alone at least 80% of the time, I'd be okay. :blush


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## moonlite (Nov 25, 2012)

It's a major blow. I guess some people just weren't meant to thrive in the world of careers. After all as the saying goes, you can't be good at everything.


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