# How do you feel about online dating?



## Katelyn1236 (Jul 10, 2012)

I feel like it is ok and something not a problem if we talk enough and if I know one day we will see each other in person.
I don't see any reason anyone would date me but that is how I feel.


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## Haunty (Oct 24, 2008)

I think it works well for women, but not for guys. And it's very easy to pre-judge someone based on their profile.


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## mrneonshuffle (Jul 13, 2012)

Haunty said:


> I think it works well for women, but not for guys. And it's very easy to pre-judge someone based on their profile.


Exactly true! I had awful luck with online dating despite being an "OK" looking guy and having a profile which was generally considered to make me come across funny and charming (had it "evaluated" by others).


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Haunty said:


> I think it works well for women, but not for guys. And it's very easy to pre-judge someone based on their profile.


This. Competition is insanely one-sided online in favor for women, at least on POF. There is no denying this fact. I've done profiles online of a pretty girl before and she got 60 messages a day! Do the same with a guy of her "caliber" and the difference is night and day. Plus, as a man of good character and confidence, etc., it is extremely hard to show that via a first message on a dating site. In real life you don't hide behind words and aren't stigmatized as much. There is also a thing called "chemistry" or a "connection" that happens more if you meet someone in person which overrides superficial qualities.


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

I would never do it, but I understand it has its place and why people do it.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

It's hard. I'm 2-15 on match, and I'm paying for it to boot.


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## CourtneyB (Jul 31, 2010)

I don't know if an online relationship is a great idea, but online crushes are fine especially if you plan on meeting face to face.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

I agree with all that has been said so far. I must of said the same thing in several other threads about online dating but I got a few spare minutes so i'll say it again.

Online dating a few years back wasnt half as competition filled. Personally had something like 3 or 4 relationships thanks to dating websites and they were not with the typical slaggy, sleep with anyone types.

Since I had been lucky enough to be in a constant flow of relationships I hadnt used dating sites for years until about a month ago.

How things have changed....

Im not the worst looking guy by far. Iv had a fair bit of luck with women, get complimented from time to time and all dates I have been on have turned into a relationship. I used to always say try and show the unique side of yourself on dating websites. Find some talents or things you can do but not many others can (such as your a vocalist, artist) and highlight them. That could give you the best chance of standing out.....

However, nowadays that doesnt even matter at all. I notice theres this pattern with women on dating sites now. They get more messages than ever before and the first thing most will look at is the pictures. If your not in the top 5 hottest guys they had messages off then dont expect a reply.

Since joining I have spoken to about 20 women, only 2 of them messaged me first and they are not my type at all. The rest were ok and we spoke for a while.... but the same pattern keeps emerging. Since they get so many messages, you may be the best option for them at that time, however, chances are in a few days they could have 100's more messages and someone else takes their fancy more than you and they stop replying to you.

Online dating is really on its arse for guys. Doesnt matter what sort of person you are, how nice you are, how loyal and honest.... If you are not the hottest out of 100's of guys a woman has messaging her... Then dont expect to get anywhere.

As much as it makes me feel worse i'll stick at online dating because theres next to no other options for me to get a girlfriend


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

There's not enough words to describe what I think of online dating...

But I'm going to make a list for you of all the things that are wrong with it. I tried it back a few years ago when I was going through a low point in my life (depression and craziness) so I have some experience

1) *False Expectations*. *Guys are rarely as they describe themselves,* or how they look in their pictures, i.e. "I'm 30, 6'1", athletic, dashingly handsome," translates to "middle 40s, 5'9, skinnier than me, pale as my grandma's ***, and balding".

Sometimes, a guy can even come off as good looking in his picture, but in real life, you're not attracted to him at all. Chemistry does not happen via the online waves. A guy you might be REALLY attracted to in real life might even turn out to be horribly unphotogenic and you could pass him up.

2) After the fact. And by fact, I mean after the fact you discover he's a huge ugly lie and *you have to spend the next 4 hours with him* because you don't want to flat out reject him to his face and have to pretend you enjoy every ounce of the date to not hurt his feelings. UP UNTIL THE VERY END where he's leaning in for a huge or kiss, or even worse when he wants to take you back to his place, and you being the kindest most politest person of all, kindly oblige.

3)* The anticipation*. Do you know a feeling more awful than giving a speech in front of 40 people? It's the hour before he comes to pick you up, and you have no idea how this guy is going to be like, or what kind of car he's driving, or what he will think of you, or if he will be a murderer, or a rapist, and it feels like hell is freezing over.

4) *Motives*. A lot (not all) of the guys on online dating sites are just looking for casual hook ups. Some of them will be outright blunt about it, others will hide their true intentions, even take you out to a movie or a dinner but at the end of the night they will be trying to get in your pants, and also warning you about the 'dangers' of online dating (happened to me before)

5) IT'S SIMPLER JUST TO GET A F***ING DATE IN REAL LIFE. The quality of the guys on online dating sites doesn't even compare to the average guy you meet in your waking life. Not to mention there's a reason why they're on an online dating site and it's not because "they're so flaming busy with their million dollar careers, they don't have time to meets chicks"

Enough said.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

calichick said:


> 5) IT'S SIMPLER JUST TO GET A F***ING DATE IN REAL LIFE. The quality of the guys on online dating sites doesn't even compare to the average guy you meet in your waking life. Not to mention there's a reason why they're on an online dating site and it's not because "they're so flaming busy with their million dollar careers, they don't have time to meets chicks"


Bit unfair really. Personally im on an online dating site because I live in a small town with not many people to meet so I often look online for people outside town.

I do agree with what you said about women not giving a guy a chance because he isnt photogenic.

I hate that, women who give me a chance and meet me are really surprised and happy with what they see.

Problem I get online is rarely given a chance for lack of photogenicness, offline its because I find it hard to act on something when theres a potential chance


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## Cashew (May 30, 2010)

I like online dating. My online relationships are the only relationships I've ever had where I felt comfortable enough to breathe around them, once we finally met.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

pete24 said:


> I hate that, women who give me a chance and meet me are *really surprised and happy with what they see*.


Are they really or are they just being polite?

And why is it _women_ plural if they are all happy with what they see?


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

My 16 year old causin met his hubby in online, she came pregnant at 17 and they got also married at 17. They have been 5 years together.

I am not that lucky. If I like someone he ends up to hate me.

:sus


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## pinkempyreal (Aug 9, 2012)

It's not easier for women. The men I've talked to and then subsequently met put me at a higher standard than I gave them or that they had any reason to. Even with honesty about my looks and pictures, they always expected more. I'd had several dates that, in my view, went extremely well. We had fun, held conversations, laughed... The dates even ended on a good note with the "I had a great time." and the "I'd like to see you again."s but then I never heard from them again. Not sure if that's a common experience for other women, but it happened too many times for me to think it was a fluke thing. 
There's also the thing where I get bombarded with messages asking me if I want to have sex. 
Yeah. No thanks.


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## rachel40 (Sep 7, 2012)

calichick said:


> There's not enough words to describe what I think of online dating...
> 
> But I'm going to make a list for you of all the things that are wrong with it. I tried it back a few years ago when I was going through a low point in my life (depression and craziness) so I have some experience
> 
> ...


I have to agree with her on this I did online dating most are douche bags wanting booty calls only but if your single that's your choice. I did meet my booty call that is now my love of my life but not every one night stand turns into lOVE...


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

pinkempyreal said:


> It's not easier for women. The men I've talked to and then subsequently met put me at a higher standard than I gave them or that they had any reason to. Even with honesty about my looks and pictures, they always expected more. I'd had several dates that, in my view, went extremely well. We had fun, held conversations, laughed... The dates even ended on a good note with the "I had a great time." and the "I'd like to see you again."s but then I never heard from them again. Not sure if that's a common experience for other women, but it happened too many times for me to think it was a fluke thing.
> There's also the thing where I get bombarded with messages asking me if I want to have sex.
> Yeah. No thanks.


Yeah, I've had that happen but it's never gone beyond the 2nd date for me. Either I lose interest or the guy does. I do the disappearing act sometimes but I never say I had such a great time and send tons of text messages. I don't get why guys send so many text messages but then lose interest.

In a way going to bars and banging guys is simpler. 80-90% of the time they won't want to see you again but if they do usually it turns into a relationship.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

calichick said:


> Are they really or are they just being polite?
> 
> And why is it women plural if they are all happy with what they see?


Perhaps, but every single time of meeting anyone who gave me a chance through online dating has formed a relationship with me. Often after the first date.

Months down the line with most of them, when we have been able to talk to eachother about anything over half admitted when they arranged a date with me they didnt know what to expect. They were not convinced by my profile pictures but gave me a chance as they liked my personality. Then after seeing me they were glad they did because I looked better than they expected.

Not all are happy with what they see. I meant online. Its very hard for me to "pull" because I am not photogenic. However the 1's that have given me a chance have liked my profile and the person I am, and gave me a chance thinking looks would fall behind personality. After meeting they realise otherwise.

Funny that months or years down the line, they realise that with SA my personality isnt as great as they guessed and my looks in person tend to be better than my personality


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## MaxPower (May 1, 2012)

I prefer dating through the internet, at least at first, as a side-effect of shyness I shut down way too easy when meeting anyone new, especially around women I like. I'm not a big fan of dating websites, I had far too many bad experiences, although one looked promising, at least at first.


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## MoonlightSky (Mar 24, 2012)

It's a cool idea, and it works for some. I think a lot depends on the people in the relationship and how much you're willing to commit to your partner and put in the effort with it all and dedicate yourself to them. A bit like in real life, but you have to be more trusting online.


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

Online dating is frustrating as hell, but its the only way I can get dates as I cant approach women in real life.


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

I'm resistant to try it because of where I live. And I am a fat chick, I just feel like I'd be putting myself out there too much when I'm pretty sure the response would be less than in offline life. 

I think its great for average looking people/normal to pretty girls etc.


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## achelle92 (Feb 27, 2012)

I'd like to give it a try, but I'm afraid it will be a waste of time.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

I'd like to try but I've seen enough posts on here that I don't see that it works that often. If the women are looking for somebody who is good looking then that means they won't like me.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

komorikun said:


> I don't get why guys send so many text messages but then lose interest.


It is most likely because the guys don't know any better. They think they need to keep in constant contact to keep your attention but they don't. However, they can lose interest for a variety of reasons: he starts dating someone else, he loses interest for w/e reason, he doesn't want a relationship, something about you turns him off, his dog died and he can't continue to date because he is emotionally traumatized (hopefully not!)...there are a million reasons.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

ravens said:


> I'd like to try but I've seen enough posts on here that I don't see that it works that often. If the women are looking for somebody who is good looking then that means they won't like me.


You could also say offline relationships don't work out often either. At some point though you have to take some action.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

pete24 said:


> Perhaps, but every single time of meeting anyone who gave me a chance through online dating has formed a relationship with me. Often after the first date.
> 
> Months down the line with most of them, when we have been able to talk to eachother about anything over half admitted when they arranged a date with me they didnt know what to expect. They were not convinced by my profile pictures but gave me a chance as they liked my personality. Then after seeing me they were glad they did because I looked better than they expected.
> 
> ...


And what is your opinion of the girls on online dating sites?

Have you been generally happy with the quality of the women?

When I was using those kinds of sites, it felt kind of unfair me even being there, there wasn't a whole lot of good "competition"


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

calichick said:


> And what is your opinion of the girls on online dating sites?
> 
> Have you been generally happy with the quality of the women on sites like those?
> 
> When I was using those kinds of sites, it felt kind of unfair me even being there, there wasn't a whole lot of good "competition"


:rofl You're always good for a laugh, calichick...thank you for being you.


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

I would never do that ****. Maybe if I had no options at all, but naw I gotta watch a woman walk before I know if I'm feelin her. If the walk ain't right I dont give a **** what her picture looks like


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

the cheat said:


> :rofl You're always good for a laugh, calichick...thank you for being you.


You should go to this site

http://www.seekingarrangement.com/

to see the quality of the girls looking for rich old men...

Compare that vs. POF (average Joes) and it's like night and day lmaoo

b**** do anything for money


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

calichick said:


> You should go to this site
> 
> http://www.seekingarrangement.com/
> 
> ...


No thanks, it's just your narcissism that humours me. And did you just call yourself a *****...?


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

the cheat said:


> No thanks, it's just your narcissism that humours me. And did you just call yourself a *****...?


Well I'm a b**** who would do anything for money, so I guess yes.

It's a playful term ya know


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## Schizoidas (May 11, 2012)

Never used one, only ever browsed through one. I agree with everything this guy posted..



> ...dating website where thousands of 4/10 women who mistakenly think they are 9/10's go daily to temporarily boost their self esteem. The website enables mostly average looking women to have their egos stroked by being constantly bombarded by the horny advances of drunk, poor and average looking guys in the form of free sex. Being constantly bombarded with messages by vast numbers of men inflates the egos of these attention *****s and makes them feel important and wanted. Little do they know that 99% of the males just want to use them as...
> 
> With egos boosted sky high, these cyberspace attention ***** trolls often write dating profiles containing outrageous & obnoxious statements such as "I am a bit of a princess & love attention" or, "No photo, no contact"-
> 
> ...


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

^^^^ what he said



Er, I have mixed feelings about dating sites. Most guys are on a dating site for a REASON. It's great for forming new connections and such. But don't expect anything more than friendship from anyone there HONESTLY. Have low low low expectations. About 99% of the guys there only want to "boost their numbers" and/or are really ugly and desperate.
My advice would be to just go to a bar....it's way less creepy, trust me


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## Gryffindor85 (Nov 7, 2011)

Kathykook said:


> ^^^^ what he said
> 
> Er, I have mixed feelings about dating sites. Most guys are on a dating site for a REASON. It's great for forming new connections and such. But don't expect anything more than friendship from anyone there HONESTLY. Have low low low expectations. About 99% of the guys there only want to "boost their numbers" and/or are really ugly and desperate.
> My advice would be to just go to a bar....it's way less creepy, trust me


Well, some guys are on there because they have SA like me, but I know that isn't true of all of them.


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

Gryffindor85 said:


> Well, some guys are on there because they have SA like me, but I know that isn't true of all of them.


I dunno. It's not in black and white, I know. For some people it may be different. But I think the general want of most men on dating sites is sex, sex sex


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## Gryffindor85 (Nov 7, 2011)

Kathykook said:


> I dunno. It's not in black and white, I know. For some people it may be different. But I think the general want of most men on dating sites is sex, sex sex


I think men get jaded from bad experiences with relationships, and that is why it seems like they only want sex. They don't want to have to deal with all the emotional pain and hurt that comes with a relationship, yet they have something in their pants begging for sex.

Not making excuses, just explaining.


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## lettersnumbers (Apr 15, 2012)

I've done it before and I just made a profile for the fourth time to try again but I'm at the point were I just can't be bothered to find anyone anymore because my only experience is that it's pointless trying on these sites, there filled with all of the same kind of people.


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## Immereinsam (Sep 4, 2012)

lettersnumbers said:


> I've done it before and I just made a profile for the fourth time to try again but I'm at the point were I just can't be bothered to find anyone anymore because my only experience is that it's pointless trying on these sites, there filled with all of the same kind of people.


What kind of people, exactly?


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Kathykook said:


> I dunno. It's not in black and white, I know. For some people it may be different. But I think the general want of most men on dating sites is sex, sex sex


The general want of most men [period] is sex, sex, sex


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## John316C (May 1, 2011)

awkwardsilent said:


> I'm resistant to try it because of where I live. And I am a fat chick, I just feel like I'd be putting myself out there too much when I'm pretty sure the response would be less than in offline life.
> 
> I think its great for average looking people/normal to pretty girls etc.


try online dting yourself, wake up tommorrow youl have 1k emails.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Kathykook said:


> ^^^^ what he said
> 
> Er, I have mixed feelings about dating sites. Most guys are on a dating site for a REASON. It's great for forming new connections and such. But don't expect anything more than friendship from anyone there HONESTLY. Have low low low expectations. About 99% of the guys there only want to "boost their numbers" and/or are really ugly and desperate.
> My advice would be to just go to a bar....it's way less creepy, trust me


Some of us are on there because we don't know how to meet women in real life.


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## lettersnumbers (Apr 15, 2012)

Immereinsam said:


> What kind of people, exactly?


Some of the men come across too needy, there was a guy on there who messaged me, I took about 15 minutes before i replied to him but by that time he had sent me another message telling me it's okay that I don't wanna talk to him, it's happened more than once with other guys, some have told me to **** off.


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## Owl-99 (Mar 7, 2012)

I would have more luck if I bashed my head into a brick wall.


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## avoidobot3000 (Aug 22, 2010)

:door

I once had a peek at a dating site out of curiosity. Dating profiles are so cliche, and the girls that were interesting were way out of my league. I can't imagine doing it myself. Maybe in a few years or something--that gives me plenty of time to take pictures of myself wrestling crocodiles to use on my profile.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

I hate online dating -a lot of the women on the sites post old photos of themselves or never even bother to update them. Also they write these incredible descriptions of the perfect guy and actually think they're going to meet him online. Yeah, right.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

I'm sure there are a lot of great guys online. At least, I know some good guys in real life who are single.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

I've never used a dating site. I've never gone on a date in real life either. I wouldn't know what to put on a profile. My life just seems so boring. I hardly go out anywhere and just spend time on the internet or playing games. I'm also living with my parents. I would rather find someone in real life but my anxiety has made it where I can't talk to women.


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## I wish i was normal (May 28, 2012)

bigblue38 said:


> I would have more luck if I bashed my head into a brick wall.


I've tried that. It doesn't work.


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## Karuni (Jun 26, 2011)

I decided to try one site out this weekend just for the heck of it. I'm about below average in looks and a little overweight (not really fat). I only got 7 messages. They were all from pretty obviously desperate guys (one who even claims to not just be looking to get laid). One guy who doesn't look desperate has been talking to me about video games but he's in a completely different universe league-wise and it just seems to be an interest in just talking, nothing else. 

I've learned a crap ton about males and myself in one weekend. I AM as unattractive as I thought, and most of the guys on there are really shallow and put little effort into their profiles. I might try another site some other time.


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## CourtneyB (Jul 31, 2010)

I'm still waiting for them to invent a teleporter. Then I wouldn't have to travel to meet anyone.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

CourtneyB said:


> I'm still waiting for them to invent a teleporter. Then I wouldn't have to travel to meet anyone.


I'm waiting for someone to invent a time machine. I would go back and tell my younger self talk to girls before it's too late.


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## CourtneyB (Jul 31, 2010)

ravens said:


> I'm waiting for someone to invent a time machine. I would go back and tell my younger self talk to girls before it's too late.


Oh I would go back and do things differently, too.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

CourtneyB said:


> Oh I would go back and do things differently, too.


I would do things a lot differently than I've done. There were a couple of girls in high school that I liked that I never talked to. I've always been too nervous to talk to any girl that I've liked. Maybe even lose my virginity back then.


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## CourtneyB (Jul 31, 2010)

ravens said:


> I would do things a lot differently than I've done. There were a couple of girls in high school that I liked that I never talked to. I've always been too nervous to talk to any girl that I've liked. Maybe even lose my virginity back then.


Same here. I would do quite a few things differently.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

CourtneyB said:


> Same here. I would do quite a few things differently.


Another thing I would do is go to college. I went to community college for a couple of months but I had to leave when my family and I moved to another state. After that I went to work with my father. I've always regretted not staying and completing college.


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## Visionary (Apr 13, 2010)

I've been in two online relationships before. The one that wasn't physical I don't account to be an actual relationship because it wasn't. Unless you have been around the person to know how exactly they are and how well you two interact, do things together. Then that's building an relationship. The other one I accounted for because I did live with the person for 6 months. Didn't work, despite us bein together 3 years before that. People can tell you what you want to hear, but once you live with the person you see how they are. In my case he didn't want to get a job and basically shunned me to spend his time online. Great relationship, right? I would never get back into another one. It's too much emotional baggage to deal with a person who lives miles away.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

The trouble with online dating is you actually have to try and make conversation with them.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

So what's a decent site out there? 

I'm gonna give it a go this upcoming weekend.


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## xstrongandsilentx (Jul 17, 2010)

Online dating can be hit or miss you know I've had both good and bad exp, I met my current gf online so it worked out for me. If your interested give it a shot typing is a lil easier than going up to someone and asking them out that's pretty tough. Usually if their not interested you just don't get a message back rather than the dreaded NO reply. But there is mass supply of competition out there so have realistic expectations


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## Visionary (Apr 13, 2010)

A decent site for online dating? Why not here? People who have a common interest or particular thing in common usually hit it off. Stay away from dating sites.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Canucklehead said:


> So what's a decent site out there?
> 
> I'm gonna give it a go this upcoming weekend.


OKCupid has yielded some results for me. EHarmony yielded one (but is somewhat expensive). Overall, I'd say it's a "numbers game" for us guys.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

srschirm said:


> OKCupid has yielded some results for me. EHarmony yielded one (but is somewhat expensive). Overall, I'd say it's a "numbers game" for us guys.


So I got into this conversation with this girl that was supposedly a 95% match for me.

She was ecstatic to talk to me until we started discussing our careers.

Shallow *****. :/

Being honest doesn't get you anywhere on that site it seems.


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## roseblood (Mar 1, 2010)

I'm not sure how i feel about them. It's kind of embarrassing to admit that I've tried it. One guy has even asked me if he could be my sugar daddy Lol.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

I think its a good start especially if you have SA.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

Back in 2005 my brother took my advice to join up with a dating website.
He was drunk which gave him the courage to (he has moderate social anxiety).
My brother had an account for around 4 years. 
He never got any messages or messaged anyone. 
He was finally going to delete the account but just before he did got a reply from a woman he had his eye on but never messaged.
They are married now. 
So you never know really.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Canucklehead said:


> So I got into this conversation with this girl that was supposedly a 95% match for me.
> 
> She was ecstatic to talk to me until we started discussing our careers.
> 
> ...


Wow really? That's messed up. I've actually never been rejected for my career (that I know of), so that's really surprising to me. Honestly, I've found I've gotten on just as well with the 65% matches as the 90%ers. Of course there aren't many 90% matches though. I haven't used OKCupid for about 3 months, as I needed a bit of a break.

Right now I'm using Plenty Of Fish a bit...or as I like to call it, Plenty of Freaks, lol.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

jimity said:


> Back in 2005 my brother took my advice to join up with a dating website.
> He was drunk which gave him the courage to (he has moderate social anxiety).
> My brother had an account for around 4 years.
> He never got any messages or messaged anyone.
> ...


Wow what a lovely story, that's great for them.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Rola said:


> I find it a very superficial desperate place and so fast-paced with multiple people dating each other. I think it's quite hard to find a meaningful relationship out of it. It's a great place to hook up with someone casually (that's what happened with me). After a month I got so sick of it I ended up deleting it, how am I suppose to look through 100s of messages per week? It was like getting fan mail lol.


Wow, us guys would kill for that problem.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

I had a conversation with a chick on OKCupid, and she told me that my profile was a breath of fresh air from the narcissistic profiles that she reads every day. Most people on there lie it seems, or embellish their place in life.

She also told me some funny stories like how some guy sent a message saying, "Want a sugar daddy for $1000 per week?" lol


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

This is pretty funny.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Canucklehead said:


> This is pretty funny.


Wow look at that introverted line!


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

srschirm said:


> Wow look at that introverted line!


I don't think I'm that introverted, I just think people lie a lot about how extroverted they are on that website.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Mine is horrible.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

Wow, your really unromantic xD


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Haha wow, some of that kinda fits with how I view Komorikun in my head (don't worry it's a fond view ).


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## Brandeezy (Dec 23, 2009)

I've been on an number of dating websites since 08 and i've gotten one "date" out of it which was basically her driving me around my neighborhood for 15 mins then me getting out and going home. I'm an minority in my area, 5'6", not that attractive, and I don't drive so I'm sure that has to do with my lack of messages. In fact, I have yet to receive an message in almost 2 months


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## OutOfControlPanel (Jul 14, 2012)

Brandeezy said:


> I've been on an number of dating websites since 08 and i've gotten one "date" out of it which was basically her driving me around my neighborhood for 15 mins *then me getting out and going home. *I'm an minority in my area, 5'6", not that attractive, and I don't drive so I'm sure that has to do with my lack of messages. In fact, I have yet to receive an message in almost 2 months


You got out, and THEN went home? Did she really make you walk back home? She sounds like a keeper. :roll


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

I think I found my long lost twin on Okcupid.

She was even born only 6 days apart, we have the same interests, she's hot, and she rated me five stars .

Also, she messaged me first, which is cool 










Hopefully I don't blow it.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Canucklehead said:


> I think I found my long lost twin on Okcupid.
> 
> She was even born only 6 days apart, we have the same interests, she's hot, and she rated me five stars .
> 
> ...


Maybe I'm the third part of the triumvirate. I'm born on July 5th (1984). 

That's awesome! Getting first messages/rated so highly doesn't happen often for me, so I'd be pumped about this.


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## General Specific (Mar 4, 2008)

Canucklehead said:


> I think I found my long lost twin on Okcupid.
> 
> She was even born only 6 days apart, we have the same interests, she's hot, and she rated me five stars .
> 
> ...


Her messaging you first is a plus. You can hold a conversation with a girl so you're 10 steps ahead of me


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

Aces_Shy said:


> Her messaging you first is a plus. You can hold a conversation with a girl so you're 10 steps ahead of me


I learned from watching American Pie. You just ask them questions and listen to what they have to say and stuff.

Plus it's not like talking to them in person, my hands don't tremble, and I'm not worried about making too much or too little eye contact.


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## General Specific (Mar 4, 2008)

Oh, I understand the basics of conversation. I just find I don't have much in common with most girls and therefore can't connect on a deeper level and there's often awkward silence.

Talking online is definitely easier and more relaxed but I still have the same problem of not knowing what to say.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

Why talks of 'being friends' if that is not your intention?


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

TPower said:


> Why talks of 'being friends' if that is not your intention?


Crap, you make a good point.

Would it have been too forward if I said, "if we were a couple", instead?

I mean, I guess it is a dating site.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

Canucklehead said:


> Would it have been too forward if I said, "if we were a couple", instead?


Not really. It would've been worse.



Canucklehead said:


> I mean, I guess it is a dating site.


Yes, indeed, however, plenty of women just want to talk to random people. My GF still do that.

The best way to find out if there is interest is joking around with sexual innuendos - without using vulgarity of course. I've done it many times and got receptive answers more often than you would think. If she isn't receptive, she's either _really_ stuck up (happened to me once - I blew it) or not physically attracted to you.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

Forget it, I'm just going to keep talking how I'm talking now, and see where it goes.

I don't need to make any "moves" just yet I don't think. Sexual innuendo is probably the last thing I would send her, because it's totally out of my character.

Hey baby, I had a really _long_ and _hard_ day at work today.

lolz


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Just keep doing what you're doing, you're fine. You don't want to stray too far from who you are anyway.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

srschirm said:


> Just keep doing what you're doing, you're fine. You don't want to stray too far from who you are anyway.


Being yourself also includes not acting as if you didn't like sex (unless you really don't, which is unlikely).

Contrarily to popular belief, women are not turned-off by sex talk.


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## General Specific (Mar 4, 2008)

A girl I'm talking to seems to enjoy the innuendos. I just need to be careful how I far I go with them :b

Edit: I realise I just posted that I have trouble talking to girls. This one would be one of the rare exceptions.


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## Clairelyse (Sep 14, 2012)

I think that if both people have the intention of meeting in person after a reasonable amount of time, and they feel like they go about it safely and smartly it should work out fine. For me personally it doesn't really work out because I'm too nervous and shy to meet anyone in person, but it's a great opportunity for people who are able to make take that step.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

TPower said:


> Being yourself also includes not acting as if you didn't like sex (unless you really don't, which is unlikely).
> 
> Contrarily to popular belief, women are not turned-off by sex talk.


True, it really depends on how the conversation is progressing.


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## Piano1985 (Sep 14, 2012)

How do I feel about online dating?

The truth is that I would feel ashamed about posting my picture in there. I guess I'm afraid about being judged as desperate by people who know me in person, if they see me that is. How do you get over that feeling? Does anyone have any insight on this?


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

Piano1985 said:


> How do I feel about online dating?
> 
> The truth is that I would feel ashamed about posting my picture in there. I guess I'm afraid about being judged as desperate by people who know me in person, if they see me that is. How do you get over that feeling? Does anyone have any insight on this?


I just said screw it if people know who I am.

okcupid is actually a lot less nerve racking than other sites I feel. Plus, it's completely normal to do online dating these days. Nerds are the new jocks.


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## Brandeezy (Dec 23, 2009)

PathologicalSigher said:


> You got out, and THEN went home? Did she really make you walk back home? She sounds like a keeper. :roll


No, she drove like a couple houses away because she didn't want to seem like a stalker :sus


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

I wonder what percentage of dudes lie on their profile page.

I was tempted a few times, but thought better of it.


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

Canucklehead said:


> I wonder what percentage of dudes lie on their profile page.
> 
> I was tempted a few times, but thought better of it.


80 - 90 % are lying. However it depends. On free sites, people feel they have little to lose. I read a survey that most men are lying by increasing their income 2x as much, and adding a few inches to their height. In some cases men are lying as much as 6-8 inches

Women lie about weight the most, and body type. Almost every woman has some sort of fitness thing as a hobby. Women are also lying a lot about age.

So in turn it evens out, which is why success of a relationship on free sites is so low. they meet each other and discover the truth


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## Gryffindor85 (Nov 7, 2011)

TPower said:


> Being yourself also includes not acting as if you didn't like sex (unless you really don't, which is unlikely).
> 
> Contrarily to popular belief, women are not turned-off by sex talk.


Maybe my problem has been trying to hide interest in sex usually. What are considered appropriate innuendos when first talking to a girl? I have a really dirty mind, so I can't say whatever enters my head.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

Gryffindor85 said:


> Maybe my problem has been trying to hide interest in sex usually. What are considered appropriate innuendos when first talking to a girl? I have a really dirty mind, so I can't say whatever enters my head.


Well.. maybe not on the first online conversation.

But you know, sometime you get to talk about sexual preferences. At some point you can slip a "Interesting! ".

It REALLY depends on how the conversation is doing, and where it's heading. If she's into the random stuff/thought you can ask her: What do you think would happen if were were stuck together in a room for the weekend?

Personally, I don't do it anymore considering I'm with someone, but I'm really good at improvising, I didn't have a particular recipe.


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## Gryffindor85 (Nov 7, 2011)

TPower said:


> Well.. maybe not on the first online conversation.
> 
> But you know, sometime you get to talk about sexual preferences. At some point you can slip a "Interesting! ".
> 
> ...


I also feel like even the mildest sex joke will get me no more replies. If the conversation gets to sex (initiated by the girl), I usually at least end up doing something with them, but if there is no mention of sex before the first meeting, I never hear from them again.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

Gryffindor85 said:


> I also feel like even the mildest sex joke will get me no more replies. If the conversation gets to sex (initiated by the girl), I usually at least end up doing something with them, but if there is no mention of sex before the first meeting, I never hear from them again.


Makes sense.

But you know, like I previously said.. if she is interested in you (in _that_ way), she will not be offended by it, and will most likely join in the sex talk. If she isn't, then why care about her reaction? At least, you know where you're standing.

As long as you don't talk to them as if they were ****s, you're good to go.


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## Lonelygirl1986 (Sep 4, 2012)

They always look different to their picture. People always look better in my daydreams even when i've only seen a picture, but i've learnt my lesson now. People seem more normal too before you meet them.


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## Gryffindor85 (Nov 7, 2011)

TPower said:


> Makes sense.
> 
> But you know, like I previously said.. if she is interested in you (in _that_ way), she will not be offended by it, and will most likely join in the sex talk. If she isn't, then why care about her reaction? At least, you know where you're standing.
> 
> As long as you don't talk to them as if they were ****s, you're good to go.


A lot of girls on there are really just looking for friends, but they act like they are looking to date, so that's annoying. They should be forward about just wanting friends.

I guess inserting something subtle into conversation could tell me where I stand with her. I've wasted a lot of time talking to girls on dating sites who had no intention of ever dating me.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

Komorikun, I want to thank you and your new avatar.

Chick I'm talking to on Okcupid goes, "just you try and rebel against me =p".

I respond, "Oh noes, are you going to send me to your room? =]"

*Swoosh*, nothing but net. :boogie


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Canucklehead said:


> Komorikun, I want to thank you and your new avatar.
> 
> Chick I'm talking to on Okcupid goes, "just you try and rebel against me =p".
> 
> ...


You're welcome. I saw it on the facebook of this woman that I follow. She has a whole bunch of videos of her cats and stuff and is pretty liberal. She has a poster of this on her wall. I need to find where I can buy one of these posters. As soon as I get my own place I'm putting it up.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Canucklehead said:


> Komorikun, I want to thank you and your new avatar.
> 
> Chick I'm talking to on Okcupid goes, "just you try and rebel against me =p".
> 
> ...


That is a swish my friend.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

Canucklehead said:


> Komorikun, I want to thank you and your new avatar.
> 
> Chick I'm talking to on Okcupid goes, "just you try and rebel against me =p".
> 
> ...


Not bad at all, mate!


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

I think it's total BS and it's something I would never do.


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## sorrwel (May 20, 2012)

So have some of you people actually had relative success with online dating? I'm in a relationship so I'm not in any hurry to try it, but my friend tried and got little to no results. Another friend told me all of the girls he found on there were "psycho"/lied about their appearance.


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## Gryffindor85 (Nov 7, 2011)

sorrwel said:


> So have some of you people actually had relative success with online dating? I'm in a relationship so I'm not in any hurry to try it, but my friend tried and got little to no results. Another friend told me all of the girls he found on there were "psycho"/lied about their appearance.


Both of your friends had similar experiences to mine, very little success, and the ones I met were psychos and/or hid their appearance.


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## Piano1985 (Sep 14, 2012)

Paloma M said:


> I think it's total BS and it's something I would never do.


I don't think that it is total BS, maybe half BS lol.

No, honestly, I think that people in there (I have been to OKcupid just browsing) try to impress way too much. So others build an image with just reading those powerful "virtues". The moment of truth, however, comes out whenever they meet in person.


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## brownzerg (Jan 8, 2012)

I'd consider it if we were close enough to each other to meetup more than once a year or so. 
My longest relationship was long distance online and it was great for a time, but the distance started to eat away at things and it fell apart.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

Alright so there is a new twist in my online escapades with the okcupid chick I posted a page or so back.

It's completely obvious that she is into me, even though my, "send me to your room", line didn't go over all that well. Which was surprising because it sounded like a slam dunk all around. Even as a joke, and not so much innuendo.

I got to talking with her a bit more last night, well actually for about 6 hours until about 10 minutes ago, and it turns out that she is a 26 year old virgin, and has never even had a boyfriend before. In fact, she hasn't even had her first kiss. Her sister put up her profile on okcupid, and I was the only guy that she messaged ever. This whole time, I thought I was talking to some experienced online dater, so naturally this completely caught me by surprise.

I don't want to sound all sappy or anything, but this almost seems like it was meant to be.

The plot thickens!


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Canucklehead said:


> Alright so there is a new twist in my online escapades with the okcupid chick I posted a page or so back.
> 
> It's completely obvious that she is into me, even though my, "send me to your room", line didn't go over all that well. Which was surprising because it sounded like a slam dunk all around. Even as a joke, and not so much innuendo.
> 
> ...


Wow! I'm still in awe of the people who can be 26 and not have had sex or even kissed. I'd be in the looney bin by that point.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

srschirm said:


> Wow! I'm still in awe of the people who can be 26 and not have had sex or even kissed. I'd be in the looney bin by that point.


In my case I'm just nervous to even approach any girl. If I didn't have this anxiety then I would have at least approached someone. I've been thinking that if I would have gone out when I was young then I may have had sex.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

ravens said:


> In my case I'm just nervous to even approach any girl. If I didn't have this anxiety then I would have at least approached someone. I've been thinking that if I would have gone out when I was young then I may have had sex.


I'm sure you would have. I have the anxiety too--believe it or not I've never really cold-approached in person. But I have had a little bit of success online and a tiny bit through friends. Every day alone feels like torture, so I couldn't tolerate that, you know?


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

srschirm said:


> I'm sure you would have. I have the anxiety too--believe it or not I've never really cold-approached in person. But I have had a little bit of success online and a tiny bit through friends. Every day alone feels like torture, so I couldn't tolerate that, you know?


I've never tried online. I haven't had any friends since I was 12. When I'm drinking at home I'm more relaxed and more outspoken but I don't go anywhere to meet people.


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## disorderly (Sep 17, 2012)

This site should have its own online dating for sad's


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

I dated someone online over four years ago for over half a year. It's exhausting, I'll tell you that much. I couldn't help being suspicious all the time, and when I had to go on holiday where there was no computer I pretty much had a break down ><; I probably wouldn't give this type of relationship another go again, when I think back on it, that type of relationship doesn't feel very... relationship-like, especially if you need to mostly rely on typing to them, and if they live in another country, well.... But hey, it does work for some people, as I know one or two people in these types of relationship, it's just not for me though.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

disorderly said:


> This site should have its own online dating for sad's


I agree.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

ravens said:


> I've never tried online. I haven't had any friends since I was 12. When I'm drinking at home I'm more relaxed and more outspoken but I don't go anywhere to meet people.


Yeah I'm more social when I'm drinking. Unfortunately, the women aren't going to come knocking on our door, so we have to put ourselves out there. And online is less nerve-wracking, though in general it leads to crappier results, in my opinion.


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## Mirium (Sep 17, 2012)

I thought it would be fine, but am currently going through problems due to misunderstandings on my part and lack of communication on his part. I think it takes two people who are very willing to communicate and work through the misunderstandings. Trust is a very important factor. If one makes more of an effort than the other, it won't work. In my case, I don't have the luxury of seeing him at home every night after work, having dinner, chatting before bed etc...so phone, text and email is the only way we can bond. When that level of communication is altered or flat out stops, so does the relationship. 

I'm still open to it, as long as I meet someone who shares my desire to keep in touch. I was told I was co-dependent recently. It kind of amused me being labeled that way by someone who didn't even know me. I think that a lot of people take each other for granted. A desire to be with the one you love is what makes the online-dating work I think. When one isn't on board with the other, why bother.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Mirium said:


> I thought it would be fine, but am currently going through problems due to misunderstandings on my part and lack of communication on his part. I think it takes two people who are very willing to communicate and work through the misunderstandings. Trust is a very important factor. If one makes more of an effort than the other, it won't work. In my case, I don't have the luxury of seeing him at home every night after work, having dinner, chatting before bed etc...so phone, text and email is the only way we can bond. When that level of communication is altered or flat out stops, so does the relationship.
> 
> I'm still open to it, as long as I meet someone who shares my desire to keep in touch. I was told I was co-dependent recently. It kind of amused me being labeled that way by someone who didn't even know me. I think that a lot of people take each other for granted. A desire to be with the one you love is what makes the online-dating work I think. When one isn't on board with the other, why bother.


I agree, best of luck to y'all.


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## Mirium (Sep 17, 2012)

srschirm said:


> I agree, best of luck to y'all.


Thanks, I appreciate it.


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## Mirium (Sep 17, 2012)

pinkempyreal said:


> It's not easier for women. The men I've talked to and then subsequently met put me at a higher standard than I gave them or that they had any reason to. Even with honesty about my looks and pictures, they always expected more.


This sounds exactly like the relationship I'm currently in or about to be dumped from. He held me to a very high ideal, expecting me to be the happy girl or the vixen all the time. When times got a little rough, then he gave me the silent treatment and doubted "us". Currently I'm in silent treatment punishment for what, I have no clue...probably because I haven't been all perky since my little dog has been gravely ill. I'm just about ready to end things because there's no way I can meet his ideals. I don't want to give up on the online dating at this point, because the area where I live is a retirement community and I don't have an interest or anything in common with any single men that live in this area.


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## pythonesque (Jun 16, 2012)

Browsing an online dating site is like window shopping - it's difficult to feel a connexion because the profiles all seem so polished and tailored to what the target audience wants to hear. And then when you do find that spark and you work up the nerve to meet the person, you find out that it was all an illusion - that you guys had less in common than you thought you did. I don't know. I might give it another go in the future, if I ever feel comfortable enough opening up to potential dates like I do here with folks on SAS.

Random fact: the 'about me' section of my profile on here is actually copied from an old OkCupid profile I had a while back.


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## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

pythonesque said:


> Browsing an online dating site is like window shopping - it's difficult to feel a connexion because the profiles all seem so polished and tailored to what the target audience wants to hear. And then when you do find that spark and you work up the nerve to meet the person, you find out that it was all an illusion - that you guys had less in common than you thought you did. I don't know. I might give it another go in the future, if I ever feel comfortable enough opening up to potential dates like I do here with folks on SAS.
> 
> Random fact: the 'about me' section of my profile on here is actually copied from an old OkCupid profile I had a while back.


True, there's a fine line between not being honest enough and being too honest. I'm still not sure what to write about myself. My problem is that I tend to be too honest, too soon.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

Rufus said:


> True, there's a fine line between not being honest enough and being too honest. I'm still not sure what to write about myself. My problem is that I tend to be too honest, too soon.


You can never be too honest.

If she's not interested in you when you are honest, well, it's better then her finding out you are lying after you guys fall in love.


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## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

Canucklehead said:


> You can never be too honest.
> 
> If she's not interested in you when you are honest, well, it's better then her finding out you are lying after you guys fall in love.


The problem for me is gauging appropriate times to disclose information that normal people are not expecting nor ready to handle. I don't lie unless I really really have to (and I have a problem lying in order to be polite). It happens spontaneously in conversation and I often don't realize it until after I've said it. Such is being a social retard.


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## Solomon's Tomb (Aug 14, 2012)

How do I feel about online dating? Well, aside from hookups, (no strings attached) this is how I feel...


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## pythonesque (Jun 16, 2012)

Rufus said:


> True, there's a fine line between not being honest enough and being too honest. I'm still not sure what to write about myself. My problem is that I tend to be too honest, too soon.





Rufus said:


> The problem for me is gauging appropriate times to disclose information that normal people are not expecting nor ready to handle. I don't lie unless I really really have to (and I have a problem lying in order to be polite). It happens spontaneously in conversation and I often don't realize it until after I've said it. Such is being a social retard.


Well, girls love pretty much anything exotic and romantic. So the best way to go about it would be to write a haiku bragging about your assets. Something like -

_my shlong is big but
my wallet is bigger still
come and get me girls_

- should do the trick. Just sit back and watch the line form at your doorstep, hotstuff.

On a more serious note, I hear ya on the inappropriate disclosure front. If I had a penny for every foot-in-the-mouth moment... I think it's helpful at times to pay attention to the way other people disclose personal things to you in various situations and try to pick up on a pattern.


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## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

Haha. Thanks for the kind words, pythonesque.

I guess I should practice casual bragging. I can be "real" and all that, but I need to loosen up. I'm used to being criticized during the rare moments I'm feeling fun and lighthearted. That was well over a year ago, so... I'm okay now sort of.


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## Spacefaring1 (Sep 18, 2012)

I've signed up on both OkCupid and POF and I find it difficult to even find the type of girl I'm interested in, never mind actually holding up a conversation, or going as far as even meeting up in person. I mostly have difficulties coming up with a first message, and of those I've actually been able to get replies from, they all end up dropping the conversation. How do people work up the nerve to actually ask to meet up? The one girl I did ask just stopped messaging me.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Canucklehead said:


> You can never be too honest.
> 
> If she's not interested in you when you are honest, well, it's better then her finding out you are lying after you guys fall in love.


I see what you mean, but sometimes I'm not sure. If I'm completely honest, you worry that you shrink your dating pool considerably.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

Rufus said:


> The problem for me is gauging appropriate times to disclose information that normal people are not expecting nor ready to handle. I don't lie unless I really really have to (and I have a problem lying in order to be polite). It happens spontaneously in conversation and I often don't realize it until after I've said it. Such is being a social retard.


This is my problem also. Online I'll happily disclose my life story, along with any embarrassing medical/mental problems thrown in for good measure. All on the first day.


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## Mirium (Sep 17, 2012)

jimity said:


> This is my problem also. Online I'll happily disclose my life story, along with any embarrassing medical/mental problems thrown in for good measure. All on the first day.


I personally don't think that's a problem. I'm very up front that I suffer anxiety and depression, but that I'm managing it. I want the other person to know right away so I can see their reaction. I think it's much better to be honest and open at the beginning rather than hiding yourself away and having to struggle with whether or not to tell them later on. If a guy can't handle me up front, then I'd rather not waste my time and get to know him. I need to be accepted for who I am or it'll just never work. Granted, you can tell a person everything and they will _say _that they understand you...then later down the road you realize they were the ones not being honest...so it's all a gamble I think.


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

Spacefaring1 said:


> I've signed up on both OkCupid and POF and I find it difficult to even find the type of girl I'm interested in, never mind actually holding up a conversation, or going as far as even meeting up in person. I mostly have difficulties coming up with a first message, and of those I've actually been able to get replies from, they all end up dropping the conversation. How do people work up the nerve to actually ask to meet up? The one girl I did ask just stopped messaging me.


I actually had the same kind of early lags when i started POF. it was just the way i thought about people. For somereason things changed for me about 2 months in, when i changed my profile to a more sincere one. To be honest POF has been good for me, in the last month i have gotten 10 numbers atleast, one girl i didnt even bother calling, and a short term relationship

So i cannot argue with POF because before it my dating life was non existent for several years


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## drMario (Sep 21, 2012)

he who laughs last thinks the slowest 

your right but at least the dude is finally laughing but the ones who got their first will always make fun of him some way or another.. ppl have once again proven to me how i feel about them.

this is a SA site are u calling urself slow? some ppl are thinking about suicide and alot commit it. way to help out =]!


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## Spacefaring1 (Sep 18, 2012)

Zeeshan said:


> I actually had the same kind of early lags when i started POF. it was just the way i thought about people. For somereason things changed for me about 2 months in, when i changed my profile to a more sincere one. To be honest POF has been good for me, in the last month i have gotten 10 numbers atleast, one girl i didnt even bother calling, and a short term relationship
> 
> So i cannot argue with POF because before it my dating life was non existent for several years


I've been on for three months now, both POF and OkCupid, but I am having trouble just getting replies... How do you do it?


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

Spacefaring1 said:


> I've been on for three months now, both POF and OkCupid, but I am having trouble just getting replies... How do you do it?


Well for one thing i always say something about their profiles, though i find that some girls just message you. Some dont have their pics posted but are attractive, like this one girl who i met was very attractive but didnt post her pic because she was afraid at what people might think.

Girls hardly every look in real life then they do in their pics. A couple of times they were much heavier in real life then their pics showed. but mainly just the numbers game and luck.

Look to see who has viewed your profile, message those. They will be interested in you.


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## firefox138 (Sep 2, 2012)

No girls would reply to me probably because I'm only 5'4. So I gave it up. It was stressing me out


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## Spacefaring1 (Sep 18, 2012)

Zeeshan said:


> Well for one thing i always say something about their profiles, though i find that some girls just message you. Some dont have their pics posted but are attractive, like this one girl who i met was very attractive but didnt post her pic because she was afraid at what people might think.
> 
> Girls hardly every look in real life then they do in their pics. A couple of times they were much heavier in real life then their pics showed. but mainly just the numbers game and luck.


I do send messages like those, but I still don't get a lot of replies. The thing with photos is that a lot of people also don't put photos because they're unattractive. I'd like to know what I'm getting into before meeting a total stranger who's appearance is unknown to me.



> Look to see who has viewed your profile, message those. They will be interested in you.


Are you sure? I would think that they looked at my profile and didn't like what they saw/read so they left...


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## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

I have a question..hopefully it gets answered lol. If not, I'll just make a thread for it lol.

*Anyway..how long into the online dating experience did you all meet up?* I've been talking to this guy for about 9 months (via FB, Skype video chat, cell phone, & Email), and it will be a year by this December. I also have never been in a relationship, and he has expressed interest in me. The guy is also a little over 6 years older than me, which I don't mind to be honest..I kinda fit in better with people who are older than me anyway. He is also overseas too, way overseas. I'll be 21 next July..if we still have this connection by around that time, then I guess a meet up will definitely need to be called for.


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

ravenm721 said:


> I have a question..hopefully it gets answered lol. If not, I'll just make a thread for it lol.
> 
> *Anyway..how long into the online dating experience did you all meet up?* I've been talking to this guy for about 9 months (via FB, Skype video chat, cell phone, & Email), and it will be a year by this December. I also have never been in a relationship, and he has expressed interest in me. The guy is also a little over 6 years older than me, which I don't mind to be honest..I kinda fit in better with people who are older than me anyway. He is also overseas too, way overseas. I'll be 21 next July..if we still have this connection by around that time, then I guess a meet up will definitely need to be called for.


Usually if i dont meet up in a week. its dead


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## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

Zeeshan said:


> Usually if i dont meet up in a week. its dead


A week, wow lol. That also seems to be a good time span if the person is in or near the local area..in my opinion. This guy I'm talking to is abroad..Idk how I've been able to be so patient. I'm just glad someone has finally shown interest in me this long, and I'm that I'm also attracted to guy along with being a bit open to him despite SA. So, I'm willing to take the risk. I know for one, my parents would have killed me if they found out that I wanted to go abroad to meet up with him at the age of 19 nearing 20 (the age that I started talking to him).Due to turning 21 next summer, I find that be an invalid excuse now.


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## Spacefaring1 (Sep 18, 2012)

ravenm721 said:


> A week, wow lol. That also seems to be a good time span if the person is in or near the local area..in my opinion. This guy I'm talking to is abroad..Idk how I've been able to be so patient. I'm just glad someone has finally shown interest in me this long, and I'm that I'm also attracted to guy along with being a bit open to him despite SA. So, I'm willing to take the risk. I know for one, my parents would have killed me if they found out that I wanted to go abroad to meet up with him at the age of 19 nearing 20 (the age that I started talking to him).Due to turning 21 next summer, I find that be an invalid excuse now.


I don't see how you could have waited so long. If it takes me more than a week before taking it further, every woman I've talked to just stopped messaging me back. Then again, I don't message people outside my city.


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## apx24 (Jan 31, 2012)

A massive practical joke on most guys


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## mysterioussoul (Jul 17, 2010)

It's flaky and harsh. It's like shopping and people can "choose" who they want.


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

Zeeshan said:


> Usually if i dont meet up in a week. its dead


Yeah I usually push for a quick meet with women from dating sites these days. Some women get freaked out by this and stop talking to me, but f**k it. I ain't wasting months talking to someone only to find out that they look nothing like their pics in real life, and/or we have zero connection with each other in real life.

Which has happened to me several times btw when I first starting using dating sites. You learn from your mistakes.


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