# Does Anyone Feel Out Of Place, Even Here?



## LadyDarkness

I do. I guess that's just how I feel anywhere, though.


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## mnshywoman

I kind of feel out of place everywhere.... so yeah. I've felt out of place my whole life.


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## LadyDarkness

Yeah, I feel like I have no real connection with anyone and that people dislike me before they even meet me.


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## Zahzi

*I'm strong but it is hard*

I've just went by three movies and three restaurants and couldn't get myself to go in and feel comfortable. I ended up here at a take-out Chinese. I'm know that it isn't a big deal but I'm glad that I'm at least at a take-out place. Has anyone over came this anxiety...yet?


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## mnshywoman

Zahzi said:


> I've just went by three movies and three restaurants and couldn't get myself to go in and feel comfortable. I ended up here at a take-out Chinese. I'm know that it isn't a big deal but I'm glad that I'm at least at a take-out place. Has anyone over came this anxiety...yet?


I'll go to movies alone, I just decided if there's a movie I want to see I'm going to see it. Plus it helps that it's dark in there so it's not that obvious to other people that I'm there alone. Restaurants.... I have eaten alone inside a restaurant but it feels too weird to be sitting there alone... it probably doesn't bother anyone else but I feel really out of place.


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## BobNothing

Always and almost everywhere. Home is the only place I feel comfortable, and yes even on this forum.


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## LadyDarkness

I also tend to be paranoid and distrustful of people.


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## Syndacus

I tend to be highly distrustful of people, but if I've known them for a year or 2, that distrust wears off. I know I'm out of place on this forums because I'm in the middle of the spectrum a little bit. I'm also catch-22, since I don't want to post my problems on here since either people won't understand, or they will and then scoff at me for wasting forum space with a useless post. So yeahhh..


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## obsidianavenger

LadyDarkness said:


> Yeah, I feel like I have no real connection with anyone *and that people dislike me before they even meet me*.




i'm sure thats not true. must suck meeting people though, if you already assume they hate you.


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## BobNothing

Xfixiate said:


> I tend to be highly distrustful of people, but if I've known them for a year or 2, that distrust wears off. I know I'm out of place on this forums because I'm in the middle of the spectrum a little bit. I'm also catch-22, since I don't want to post my problems on here since either people won't understand, or they will and then scoff at me for wasting forum space with a useless post. So yeahhh..


I don't think anyone would scoff at you or your problems on this forum. I don't post too much info, always afraid that a co-worker or family member would figure its me on this forum. You should share your concerns, even if no one responds, its good to just let it out.


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## Syndacus

BobNothing said:


> I don't think anyone would scoff at you or your problems on this forum. I don't post too much info, always afraid that a co-worker or family member would figure its me on this forum. You should share your concerns, even if no one responds, its good to just let it out.


Yeah, if I'm feeling extremely helpless and have no care in the world what I do, I'll post, but can't post about my issues without feeling some intense guilt and/or shame, that my problems are just wasting everyone's time when others have real problems that need more help. Which is one thing I discovered about myself this morning...I never put myself up front because of this mindset, and always feel I'm taking care of others first before me.


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## peach123

Yes, I do feel out of place. Tonight, I was in biology class and we had to get into groups of three and I turned and asked this girl if I could join her and her boyfriend in a group and she looked like she didn't want me to be in the group but she said yes. I was in their group before and we did ok, we got along and her boyfriend didn't mind that I asked to be in the group. At one point toward the end of class, she was staring at me and I smiled at her and looked down, she is nice to me but I think she is sick of me being in her group again, next time I will have to get in someone else's group. That is one example of me feeling out of place. I went to church this past Sunday and I felt out of place when it was time to leave and when I said hello to some people I knew when leaving, one woman I said hi too, she answered but only when I tapped her arm, she wouldn't have spoken otherwise. Her daughter didn't speak either. Some of the people I spoke to were very nice but others' weren't as nice, I guess it can go either way though, I am not as nice as I could be at times due to feeling nervous so I come across as cold instead of warm and friendly.


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## erasercrumbs

Ditto. I instantly assume that everyone just wants me to go away as quickly as possible.


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## Ashley1990

i feel somewhat the same too


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## AM1432

LadyDarkness said:


> I do. I guess that's just how I feel anywhere, though.


I used to always feel out of place, not so much anymore, guess because I am not in any situations to cause that feeling. I have no friends really, I don't hang out or go anywhere, so... 

I don't feel out of place here, just having some trouble connecting/making friends :hs


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## LadyDarkness

AM1432 said:


> I used to always feel out of place, not so much anymore, guess because I am not in any situations to cause that feeling. I have no friends really, I don't hang out or go anywhere, so...
> 
> I don't feel out of place here, just having some trouble connecting/making friends :hs


Yeah, I don't go many places, either. I also don't really connect too well online or offline. I wish things were different.


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## SaveASL

*Feeling out of place 24/7*

Hi there Y'all --- 
I wonder if it has to do with modern society and different classes or statuses. 
My being Deaf and fluent in American Sign Language in a 99.9% dominantly speaking world makes it very difficult to socialize with people. 
I'm surprised that some hearing people who speak the same language can still have a difficult time relating but then again most people are carrying extra non-necessary filters - judging people before getting to really know them.

The older I get, the harder it is for me to mingle with my own peers. I notice I find very young or very old people who open up with me and chat. I'm either too poor, too fat, too Deaf, too oral, too weird, too whatever (fill in the blank). 
Makes one wonder what one has to do in order to honestly connect in a fun safe manner with people just to socialize and why is everything is so expensive to have fun?!


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## AK32

Yes, I just don't think I am where I should be.


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## Hadron92

Well, I've felt out of place here for over 2 years. I think many people here will be glad to see me go but hey, I'm still here. Sometimes, even I wonder why:blank...


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## millenniumman75

Hadron said:


> Well, I've felt out of place here for over 2 years. I think many people here will be glad to see me go but hey, I'm still here. Sometimes, even I wonder why:blank...


That's not exactly true.


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## wootmehver

"Out-of-placers" represent the next stage of human evolution and just have to put up with the primitive insensitive beings around them until they go extinct.


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## ForgetMeForever

Yes of course, kind of goes with the 'extreme Social Anxiety" territory. When I'm feeling that people here don't like me and want me gone, I just remind myself that the name of this board is "Social Anxiety Support". I have social anxiety, therefore I belong here. Anyone who doesn't like me here can try to make me feel bad, but they won't get me to leave.



LadyDarkness said:


> Yeah, I feel like I have no real connection with anyone and that people dislike me before they even meet me.


Yep, that's how I feel too, most of the time anyway. Given my experiences in my formative years, its completely natural that I'd have this problem. So I try to practice self-compassion, which is relatively new to me.



Totally Terrified said:


> Totally in the wrong place, been here less than a week and the disrespecting has started already.


No, say it ain't so. Listen, I'm sure this being a support board for people who are extemely sensitive to social anxiety draws the creeps like blood draws sharks in the water. So...if people are giving you grief here, take it with a grain of salt. I find it helpful to do a search of a person's posts here...you can see if they treat everyone like that or just you in this instance.



wootmehver said:


> "Out-of-placers" represent the next stage of human evolution and just have to put up with the primitive insensitive beings around them until they go extinct.


I've thought about that before. If self-awareness is what separates us from the animals, then hyper self-awareness is even more human and less animal-like, right? Wish I could just "be" and not be so hyper self-aware, actually.



SaveASL said:


> Hi there Y'all ---
> I wonder if it has to do with modern society and different classes or statuses.
> My being Deaf and fluent in American Sign Language in a 99.9% dominantly speaking world makes it very difficult to socialize with people....
> I'm either too poor, too fat, too Deaf, too oral, too weird, too whatever (fill in the blank).
> Makes one wonder what one has to do in order to honestly connect in a fun safe manner with people just to socialize and why is everything is so expensive to have fun?!


Wow, that must be hard in some ways. I can't imagine, I feel so isolated enough as it is and I'm mostly normal hearing. (I say mostly normal as I do have some minor issues with conversations being garbled if there is much background noise. Many times I get tired of asking 'what'd you say?" so I just pretend I heard and hope I don't say something that shows I didn't hear.) And yet...if I was deaf, I would SO TOTALLY play the deaf card. You know, hide the fact I don't like to talk that much with the excuse that I'd be just like everyone else if only I wasn't deaf, and if you give me problems about it then you must be one insensitive jerk-wad for giving a deaf person grief. (I hope you don't feel offended by my saying that. I'm just sharing my thoughts on how I imagine I'd deal with that issue.)

Growing up, I felt very conscious of my family's social status as regards both financially and "classiness". My mom always seemed like she was middle-class but my father always seemed so lower-class (things he said and behavior). Some of the kids I liked in grade school were upper middle-class and I felt like their parents just loathed and distrusted me. In junior high I tired to avoid anyone that seemed too wealthy as I just couldn't keep up with the clothes and activities. When I think back, it seems weird that I thought about this stuff so much. I don't think my classmates thought about it so much.


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## db4805

wootmehver said:


> "Out-of-placers" represent the next stage of human evolution and just have to put up with the primitive insensitive beings around them until they go extinct.


LOL. Now if we can just convince them to stop having babies...


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## Atticus

Yes


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## Kennnie

Im pretty sure most people hate me here.


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## ForgetMeForever

RiversEdge said:


> I feel out of place here -- because people - hardly ever- answer a post that you make.
> It's like I'm talking to myself.
> I post out of boredom at times, or trying to associate a 'little' but...nothing.
> Even when I pour my heart out to try and help as best I can -- no response. :rain


I totally get the "talking to myself" sometimes.

You haven't been here that long/made that many posts. Give it some time. Remember, people here are anxious and it takes them some time to trust. Perhaps the people who would respond best to you either weren't around on the days you posted or are too shy.


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## wootmehver

ForgetMeForever said:


> I totally get the "talking to myself" sometimes.
> 
> You haven't been here that long/made that many posts. Give it some time. Remember, people here are anxious and it takes them some time to trust. Perhaps the people who would respond best to you either weren't around on the days you posted or are too shy.


*EXCELLENT POINT*. Let's give our fellow SAer's tons of slack and not judge them like the evil extroverts we deal with everyday judge us. If a fellow SA sufferer ignored me or abused me, I would consider it as being their dysfunctional false self behaving badly and not the glorious, loving being trapped inside. I would not take it personally. Well, try not to.


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## merryk

AM1432 said:


> I don't feel out of place here, just having some trouble connecting/making friends :hs


Offline and online lives are very similar lately...feeling disconnected from others, mainly due to sadness/anxiety and coming across as boring.


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## mnshywoman

merryk said:


> Offline and online lives are very similar lately...feeling disconnected from others, mainly due to sadness/anxiety and coming across as boring.


That disconnection.... I have several immediate family members (siblings and my parents) who live in the same state as me (within a 40 minute drive from me, max), I'm the only single family member and nobody ever calls me to see if I want to get together for holidays, nobody calls to check on me, etc. My kids are grown and have their own lives too but it gets quite depressing sometimes when I feel like I could keel over dead and it would be WEEKS before any of my family even noticed. I'm already dreading another Thanksgiving & Christmas sitting home watching holiday movies on TV all alone.

Does anyone else have this issue? I know my family is somewhat dysfunctional but this really annoys me.... any suggestions (other than calling them all weekly to say "hey I'm still alive") or inviting myself over for holidays?


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## Firecracker73

Yes, I feel the same... I think I finally connect with someone on this site and then it just fades away.........


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## Hideko

Good responses, can identify with a lot of them. Also feel so out of place, really in the whole world, just can't connect with anyone or anything, it's really become like that here too, though I'll read thru a lot of the threads, more in this section, just find it so hard to connect and communicate with anyone, have fallen so much deeper into my shell I'm at such a loss of what to do.:um


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## GunnyHighway

RiversEdge said:


> Ok, I'll keep that in mind and have some patience, thank you.


I offered to make you food :b

But yeah, I know I'm not really part of the "group" here. I can post on the forums, sure, but nobody wants to talk to me outside of that.


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## Hideko

GunnyHighway said:


> But yeah, I know I'm not really part of the "group" here. I can post on the forums, sure, but nobody wants to talk to me outside of that.


That I can identify with so much, not that you have to make best friends or become super popular or whatever but just can't connect with others like you mentioned, can post but haven't really gotten to know anyone, not that I can blame them for not wanting to know me because I'd probably be like them if I was in their shoes.


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## metamorphosis

Wherever people congregate on a regular basis with a common denominator there's going to be cliques. Even in a SAD forum, cliques form and if your not really into that whole scene or don't feel comfortable in that setting, which is pretty much everywhere people congregate socially, than its natural to feel even more like an outsider. Considering what this website is about and trying to achieve it can feel even worse. I fall into that spectrum, like I have my whole life. But there are alot of good, caring people on SAS. Otherwise you wouldn't keep coming back, right?
Right!!!


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## ForgetMeForever

wootmehver said:


> *EXCELLENT POINT*. Let's give our fellow SAer's tons of slack and *not judge them like the evil extroverts we deal with everyday judge us*. If a fellow SA sufferer ignored me or abused me, I would consider it as being their dysfunctional false self behaving badly and not the glorious, loving being trapped inside. I would not take it personally. Well, try not to.


LOL. Beautifully worded post, as usual.

Do you meditate, Wootmehver? Or practice something from CBT or similar? You can PM me, if you'd prefer to posting here.


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## CynicalOptimist

mnshywoman said:


> I'll go to movies alone, I just decided if there's a movie I want to see I'm going to see it. Plus it helps that it's dark in there so it's not that obvious to other people that I'm there alone. Restaurants.... I have eaten alone inside a restaurant but it feels too weird to be sitting there alone... it probably doesn't bother anyone else but I feel really out of place.


:ditto But I don't mind it at a fast food restaurant. As for the OP's question...Yes, sometimes I do to some degree. But maybe it's my cynicism and low self-esteem talking. :lol


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## AK32

I feel out of place everywhere


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## Lonelyguy

Yeah...I've never fit in anywhere, even here.


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## jsgt

I do, but I feel out of place no matter where Im at, so I dont think it has anything to do with this forum in particular.


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## cakesniffer

I've been here for years, and what I've noticed is that this site has become more clique-y. And I've never been one to be a part of any group. I made quite a few friends here in the past just by chance, but now I feel like an outsider. Maybe because I'm eight years older and there is a large young population here.


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## caseyblue

Well I joined here because I crave some type of connection but I never find what I'm looking for. It's the same everywhere else. I don't know how to relate to anyone.


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## SAgirl

I think I feel out of place. While girls care about hair, makeup and clothing I couldn't for a minute care about that stuff.


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## ForgetMeForever

skywatcher said:


> Yes, I'm as out of place here as anywhere. I did feel like I belonged here for a while, and there are a couple people here who have become pretty good friends, but for me belonging never seems to last, and typical of this pattern in my life, I've ended up feeling excluded, for the most part. *I can't help but notice the way so many people here carry "normalcy" around with them, though they may be out of touch with it (if anyone knows what I mean), but I don't seem to have even that.* Truth be told, I'm hesitant to post anything substantial here these days. On the other hand, I realize I shouldn't care, and just offer what I have, inasmuch as I feel excluded anyway. Dunno.


I'm not sure what you mean, but its an interesting comment. I do feel that if some people have a "normalcy aura" about them, I have the opposite. Or I imagine that I do. Part of the negative thinking that I need to stop.

The feelings of being excluded, though, are part of what I mean when I say I am paranoid. This is an online group, so...not sure why I would feel excluded and distrusted. Why do I interpret things that way? It has to be negative thoughts because there is no physical group here to be excluded from. If you get my drift.


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## leave me alone

Little bit less here than in other places. I still feel like i have more severe sa than other people here.


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## kesker

Deep deep deep deep (too deep) inside I have a feeling I might belong but it's pulverised by the messages I consciously and subconsciously send myself on a daily basis. In the end any sense of belonging I feel here lasts as long as it takes me to read any responses I get. Maybe I don't belong to myself. I don't know. Take care.


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## hmnut

yeah I feel out of place here. When I first got here like two months ago I made two instant friends, it happened so fast I was shocked. Then even though they had both been members for years BOTH of them disappeared.... the story of my life.

I don't really have any other friends around here, I just use this site get support idea for my SA. I wanted to do the whole meeting up thing, but all the people in my area are at least 10 years younger than me.


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## OregonMommy

LadyDarkness said:


> I also tend to be paranoid and distrustful of people.


I am with you on this one. You are not alone. 
Wish I could shed this distrustfullness, but it's always there.


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## humourless

Yeah..sometimes I look in the mirror and say...gee you look old bitter and twisted today!
And there are so many young gorgeus people on this site that I feel well, well....ungorgeous I suppose is the word...my wife reckons I still look hot but I think she's biased.......if I could just get rid of the anger, the poison..oh well at least I have one friend in the world....oh I forgot my dog too!


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## trendyfool

Yeah, I often feel the same way here as I do in the real world. I feel like "everyone else" but me is amazingly awesome, and I'm not. I feel like I don't talk "enough" to the other people on this site, or that when I post my poetry it's not good "enough". So many people on here have low self-esteem and I wish I could show them how great they are. But that's painful, too, because I myself have a low opinion of myself. So I feel like I'm the only one who truly is not "good enough" or "amazing" while other people just believe they aren't.

I like this place though and talking to people here. But I'm not exactly part of "the group" or anything.


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## Rainbowmuffin

LadyDarkness said:


> I also tend to be paranoid and distrustful of people.


me too!!!


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## youresoquiet

I pretty much feel out of place everywhere I go and with everyone i encounter. I always feel like people hate me for some reason. I cant seem to ever make a friend. My husband is a real friendly person so he's always bringing home friends. A couple of times we've gone out with his friends and thier wives/girlfriends. I never hit it off with them. I try to be freindly and make conversation but nothing ever comes of it. My husband says its because i come off as "standoffish" To me, I am going out of my way to make conversation with them, and usually i am saying more to them than they are to me.I am so socially akward that every word is a struggle for me. I have no human relateability what so ever.


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## Pialicious88

i always feel "out of place" no matter where i go or who i talk to
but at least i can relate to a lot of the stuff people post here.


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## Pialicious88

Rainbowmuffin said:


> me too!!!


me 3


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## Fireflies

Yes, even here...or any forum. I'm a little hesitant to post because I wonder if anyone would bother replying. The possibility of rejection is still there for me. 

I've been posting with questions here and there at a travel blog and, I swear, my heart starts pounding and I feel nauseated when I log on because I wonder if there will be any replies. 

Imagine my real life!


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## humourless

fireflies
be cool there's nothing to fear, there are always bigger fools like me, to make you feel better about yourself!


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## leonardess

I deal with things much better now than I used to, but I think I will always feel somewhat out of step pretty much everywhere.


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## humourless

I see myself as an "Outsider" too. Maybe that's the fate of many SAers. We can't really get excited about what the "group" plans to do. I know from teacher staff meetings, I could never understand the enthusiasm of discussing plans for next week's hat parade fro instance. I tended to daydream a lot. Not focussed on day to day practicalities. Self-absorption?


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## Boring Loser

Yeah i feel out of place and unwanted and awkward almost everywhere i go. Even if i moved and started new in a new place where no one knows me, i would still have just as much of a hard time meeting friends and stuff. 

I usually feel unwanted (but not disliked) here on these forums or just that no one notices me. I feel like i'm awkward and don't belong/fit in. Maybe cause i'm really new and no one knows me and i don't know them. I usually worry that my posts are dumb or make no sense to anyone but me, or something. But I post them anyway. Cause i don't care if my posts get a reply or anyone reads them or not, i'm just posting them for me.

A big part of feeling "out of place" is that I always think i'm not good enough for anyone, because i think i'm inferior to everyone and everyone in the world is a lot better than me and that no one should waste their time liking me, because i'm pretty worthless and inferior and "not good enough" for them. And i feel bad that whatever good anyone gives to me, i can't give back to them equally because i think i'm not as good as them. Overthinking stuff like that way too much is my problem. If I didn't overthink and over analyze everything so much, i would be a lot better off.


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## humourless

weird woman
I didn't ignore your post.
You don't seem strange to me.


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## Tugwahquah

I've never felt like I fit in anywhere, so whats new? :stu


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## PDXRyan

I slightly feel out of place here but only because I suffer more from GED and agoraphobia, not so much just straight social anxiety. I'm not so afraid of people in general per-se, I'm more afraid of myself and you know, dying or having some heart attack away from my 'safe place.' But this is the best social network that I've seen so far about these sorts of issue's.


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## Kon

I feel out of place everywhere. I feel like I can relate with people on here with respect to the social anxiety part but I can't relate at all by the overwhelming majority on here who want to fit in with this society. I think that's a large part of the problem. There's something wrong with society when ~ 20-25% of the population has some mental ilness. I think there's too much self-blame and wanting to fit in. I think more people should be questioning this crap system we've created. It looks like a disaster to me. Maybe it's just me but I don't think I was designed to live with so many people in a system like this.


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## sanspants08

Kon said:


> I feel out of place everywhere. I feel like I can relate with people on here with respect to the social anxiety part but I can't relate at all by the overwhelming majority on here who want to fit in with this society. I think that's a large part of the problem. There's something wrong with society when ~ 20-25% of the population has some mental ilness. I think there's too much self-blame and wanting to fit in. I think more people should be questioning this crap system we've created. It looks like a disaster to me. Maybe it's just me but I don't think I was designed to live with so many people in a system like this.


That's my point of view, basically. I can relate with respect to social anxiety, but not about it being a constant worry. I'm not socially anxious unless in a social setting--which means I don't stress it the rest of the time. I feel different from a large percentage of the board in that I don't have much generalized anxiety, and because I'm really not concerned about fitting into social norms. To me they're just an interesting topic of conversation.


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## grapeape

Not entirely,but only because I am not seeing actual faces and hearing real vices. I can hide behind my computer screen and pick my nose if I wanted to. But I still help but feel that my condition is uniquely absurd or repulsive yet I hear so many people sharing the same thoughts as mine


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## jossm

*hi there*

I know I'm writing this a little late xD
I want you to know that you're not the only one,I almost everywhere feel exactly like you said you feel so I understand you and I know how frustrating is these


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## seaghosts

I mean, I joined a few days ago but yes, I do.


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## victoriangirl

I've always felt different and out of place. It also has to do with my upbringing - my parents are both from different cultures so when I started school, all the other kids looked like aliens to me. Now years later, I feel like the alien myself. 

I am not even happy being a human being, so I guess I will always feel weird/out of place/different/never in my comfort zone/myself and alone


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## rhames

yes i feel out of place here as well as pretty much every place im at...


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## LWR

yep, i feel out of place everywhere  , like the only thread i posted had only one reply  "better than none" . maybe if i was a little bit younger. maybe a cute girl , it would be different , lol . the point is, i try to help out other people to make myself feel better. i started living with it anyways.


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## erasercrumbs

LWR said:


> i try to help out other people to make myself feel better


That's a noble way to deal with feeling ostracized. Usually, feeling rejected just inspires me to be an even bigger jerk than normal.


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## PitaMe

I think we all feel out of place, thats why we're on this forum


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## IcedOver

Yes, I definitely feel out of place anywhere I go. Lately, though, I've been feeling out of place on every internet site of which I'm a member. I hate the internet, and don't really desire to get in any deeper with it than I already am. However, when I do feel like exploring a site a little further, I realize that all the members have so much more going on than me, and are "normal" people, whereas I'm just a screw up. Of course I have more in common with this site's members, but I still feel out of place.

Most members of internet sites are younger, and I believe a gulf in attitude exists even between people in their thirties and those in their teens and twenties. Younger people (i.e., people who have been using the internet since they were very young) seem obsessed with being funny, sarcastic and faux-witty, and spout tons of in-jokes and internet slang, and it's all so tiresome. They're not funny, even though they believe they are. I guess that's a symptom of the horrendous Facebook/Twitter Hell, where it's all about "Look at me! I'm cool/funny/witty/interesting/attractive/sexy". You go about establishing a known identity through these stupid brief quips. Seriousness and sober, straightforward talk and questions are frowned upon and viewed as lame or even as evidence of a creepy person (again, this is more in evidence on other sites). Does anyone know what I'm talking about?


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## Still Waters

I need to feel a degree of warmth in order to feel a true connection or friendship is blossoming--I get frustrated because this type of interaction often feels empty and pointless. I often liken it to driving around town shouting my thoughts out the open window to random strangers. Younger people,having grown up with computers don't seem to feel this disconnect. IceOver,yes I understand,it's as if Facebook devotees exist in a world made up of sound bites and infomercials with only one product being consistently touted - themselves.


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## IcedOver

"Still Waters" -- Good analogies! That's spot on. 

Another thing that makes me feel out of place is the overwhelming clique-ishness on some sites. Sometimes it feels like you can't even talk to anyone unless you're in their tightly knit group and can converse with their silly little in-jokes (again, not so much this site, although it does have its cliques).


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## pjb77

IcedOver said:


> Yes, I definitely feel out of place anywhere I go. Lately, though, I've been feeling out of place on every internet site of which I'm a member. I hate the internet, and don't really desire to get in any deeper with it than I already am. However, when I do feel like exploring a site a little further, I realize that all the members have so much more going on than me, and are "normal" people, whereas I'm just a screw up. Of course I have more in common with this site's members, but I still feel out of place.
> 
> Most members of internet sites are younger, and I believe a gulf in attitude exists even between people in their thirties and those in their teens and twenties. *Younger people (i.e., people who have been using the internet since they were very young) seem obsessed with being funny, sarcastic and faux-witty, and spout tons of in-jokes and internet slang, and it's all so tiresome.* They're not funny, even though they believe they are. I guess that's a symptom of the horrendous Facebook/Twitter Hell, where it's all about "Look at me! I'm cool/funny/witty/interesting/attractive/sexy". You go about establishing a known identity through these stupid brief quips. Seriousness and sober, straightforward talk and questions are frowned upon and viewed as lame or even as evidence of a creepy person (again, this is more in evidence on other sites). Does anyone know what I'm talking about?


You nailed it! Exactly right. I really don't like the internet. But have nothing else to fill my life with which is sad.


----------



## rdrr

pjb77 said:


> You nailed it! Exactly right. I really don't like the internet. But have nothing else to fill my life with which is sad.


Its more of just a maturity/immaturity thing. That type of behaviour dissipates with age.


----------



## pjb77

IcedOver said:


> "Still Waters" -- Good analogies! That's spot on.
> 
> Another thing that makes me feel out of place is the overwhelming clique-ishness on some sites. Sometimes it feels like you can't even talk to anyone unless you're in their tightly knit group and can converse with their silly little in-jokes (again, not so much this site, although it does have its cliques).


Yes I agree with this also. Some sites you will be ignored if you don't have a certain number of posts.


----------



## rhames

yes ii feel out of place most everywhere i am.. i dont feel like i belong anywhere im always expecting someone to ask why are you here you dont belong here


----------



## cerulean

cakesniffer said:


> I've been here for years, and what I've noticed is that this site has become more clique-y. And I've never been one to be a part of any group. I made quite a few friends here in the past just by chance, but now I feel like an outsider. Maybe because I'm eight years older and there is a large young population here.


The other forums are just too loaded with threads. I think most things that are posted there just get lost in the shuffle. The high schoolers, though I don't want to downplay their suffering, are in a very different situation from us.


----------



## 67budp

I even feel out of place when with my own family. They all have real lives and I feel like I'm on the outside looking in. I don't think that they think very much of me.


----------



## erasercrumbs

I've decided I'm just too weird and awkward for the internet.

Yeah, let _that_ sink in for a minute.


----------



## Marooned

There's really a limit to the extent one can "fit in" here given the impersonal nature of the medium. We can never truly know another person through the exchange of written words alone. This also isn't like other virtual communities in which people are drawn together by shared interests. Anxiety afflicts people of all persuasions, and there is really nothing that ties this community together other than our shared suffering. It is thus a community in only the loosest sense of the term. 

That said, I've been visiting these forums infrequently going back to when they were still on the EZBoards platform. Since then, the population has exploded (1158 current visitors!?), with most of the posters now seeming to be teenagers dealing with the insecurities involved with that stage of life (indeed, that was what drew me here initially as well, though my insecurities have persisted and intensified since the teenage years). Eventually they move on and a new crop takes their place after a few months. As such, I don't expect to have much in common with most who post here. The topics of discussion quickly exhausted and no longer worth following, I limit my replies to the rare few which catch my interest and where I feel I have something worthwhile to contribute, using the site as more of a sounding board than anything else. 

Come with few expectations, and don't stay too long. That is my advice. This will never be a substitute for face-to-face interaction, and prolonged visits can really take a toll on the psyche.


----------



## ChrissyQ

I feel outside of the outsiders


----------



## TheQuietGirl20

Yeah sometimes


----------



## VagueResemblance

I haven't fit in anywhere since I was ten. I've accepted it, I think - there's no place for me here.


----------



## IcedOver

ChrissyQ said:


> I feel outside of the outsiders


Yes, me too.


----------



## FarNorth

I don't really feel anything for a "place" on the Internet.

People on the Internet manifests itself as "text on the screen" in my mind. I don't see the person behind the text; I see only the text. I might as well be talking to machine for all I know.

As for the Cleverbot. Not by a long shot, sorry.

I don't mean to be rude to you who think before you post and try to put effort in your often well thought out insightful comments. It's just that I don't connect the text with actual persons. I have a hard time understanding there's an actual person on the other end of the phone too.


----------



## The Sleeping Dragon

Same here. I feel like a fraud when I'm outside my comfort zone. Like a fish on water pretending to be a mammal and everybody knows.


----------



## vlad soma

Reading so many similar stories makes me feel better in knowing that I'm not alone. I think that's the main reason why any of us are here. If you really feel out of place then why do you keep coming back? Probably because you've read comments that reflect what you're feeling so you can relate to some. Maybe if you tried messaging people individually and this became a more personal experience you would feel better and actually make friends. I should try that too.


----------



## Blawnka

I feel out of place everywhere, especially here, everyone has SA.. But they all still have more friends than I do, online, and probably offline.


----------



## scorp1966

I always feel out of place.


----------



## unknown123

I don't really fit in here as well and it used to bother me a bit. I messaged a few people and even added some to my messenger. After a conversation or two they stopped responding even when they were online and I deleted them all. It didn't feel nice finding out that you are too awkward for even the awkward crowd. 

Now I realize that I probably won't make friends here so admitting that makes it easier to post. I don't really care that much, there are no expectations. It's just a place to kill time.


----------



## mark84

ChrissyQ said:


> I feel outside of the outsiders


I hear that, well said


----------



## Stormclouds

Yes, I feel out of place even on a site that's meant for people who feel like they don't belong. It seems like nobody can relate to my problems. It must be that I'm SO far out in left field, I'm in a world all by myself. It's a really ****ty feeling, for sure.


----------



## victoriangirl

I come in here on daily basis - especially when things are not going well and I just hope to find a thread on my issues because it feels so lonely. While I am going through the forum, I like to post replies to various threads because frankly I miss sharing and talking quite a bit. 

It is really bad in the real world. My real world being work and places I pass when trying to avoid going home (parents who argue etc.). People at work all seem to have problems but they are worldy problems - they are the usual 'money, children, marriage, love' problems. I don't want to make it sound like those problems are not bad enough, I am sure each and every person has his/her own way of dealing with things, anxieties, emotions etc. But my problems are not ones I can talk about. How do you explain someone that you feel out of place and how that feels deep down inside? The anxiety, the stress, the hopelessness, the sadness. It feels very lonely.


----------



## The Sleeping Dragon

Yep. I second guess myself in everything even if I get compliments from others. (Which is rare in the first place.)


----------



## erasercrumbs

Stormclouds said:


> Yes, I feel out of place even on a site that's meant for people who feel like they don't belong. It seems like nobody can relate to my problems. It must be that I'm SO far out in left field, I'm in a world all by myself. It's a really ****ty feeling, for sure.


There needs to be a group for those of us that are too socially awkward and anxious to be in any other group. Of course, that many alienating people pooling our bad vibes in one group could very well make the internet burst into flames.


----------



## Lansdude

erasercrumbs said:


> There needs to be a group for those of us that are too socially awkward and anxious to be in any other group. Of course, that many alienating people pooling our bad vibes in one group could very well make the internet burst into flames.


Seems like there are the anxious and the extremely anxious. For the latter group, it looks like the former group, many of whom have somewhat normal lives, don't even have the same condition. I think that might make it worse for those of us who are suffering in true isolation. That's not to say the others aren't suffering, just that they may not be relateable to people who are completely crippled by SA.

I think a lot of people also feel like they don't belong here simply because what's bringing them together is their SA. There's no other basic interest drawing people together so they don't have much to talk about past the SA. That means that they're not going to get a lot of sustained interaction and that might make them feel more isolated.

Finally there's the simple fact that everyone's here to talk about themselves. You don't come here to discuss other people's problems, only to seek help for your own. So when a lot of people are looking for help for themselves, they're not as likely to find it from people who are in the same position. Everyone's looking inward. That's why there's very little of people replying to each other here, although they may be expecting that. And what that happens, it might make you feel even worse. But that's an illusion.


----------



## Don Gio

I always feel out of place,I'm an out of place kinda guy


----------



## sanspants08

Yup, I feel out of place sometimes, but for the opposite reasons most on here do. Despite my anxieties I'm quite confrontational, so I can't relate to people who panic and hide, or panic and flee, or panic in general. I'd go crazy if I gave into my social phobias, since all of the fun stuff I've ever done has involved interacting with people. Unlike a lot of people on here, I have a decent self-esteem (lower than it should be, but it's ok). I don't feel alienated or even unlikeable. Or undateable. I'm awkward and scared as hell, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop living (unless a lot of ranting folks in the Frustration section).


----------



## MrGilligan

I feel totally out of place. I don't mind though. I'm used to it.


----------



## lomayjo

I feel out of place everywhere and all the time


----------



## tennislover84

Seems like everybody feels out of place here doesn't it?  Shouldn't that mean everybody in this thread isn't out of place? Well... in this thread anyway!

But yes, I feel out of place on this site.  Mostly because everybody seems so young. I see so many posters aged 18 in the main forums, and they are often going on about how they don't still want to have social anxiety when they are 30. You know... like those "old people" :b It feels rather like the younger people here think this is purely a site for young people, or that SA is a young person's "thing". Which makes me not want to post so much. It's not true though, in case I make anybody else worry about the same thing.

But that's why I've taken to posting in this section a bit, even though I'm not 30 yet. I'm wondering whether I'll feel more at home here? I'm still worried that I'll be out of place because I may not have as many life experiences as a lot of 30+ members.  Like that thread somebody started about still feeling like a child... that's me in a lot of ways, unfortunately.


----------



## SonicMan

wootmehver said:


> "Out-of-placers" represent the next stage of human evolution and just have to put up with the primitive insensitive beings around them until they go extinct.


Excellent quote!!


----------



## Bryan108

Well most of the people on the forums are like around 18-22 range so I can see you feeling left out since your in your 40s


----------



## mzmz

I think sa is life destroying. If it hasent made you hopelessly poor and or alone
...You don't really have sa. -ts made me homeless, its gotton me to alianate
Friends and family around me, its kept me seprete from any and
Every community I've been near. I spend each day worried and and anxoius
And even my wonderful boyfriend doesn't understand why I'm like this.
I think its not that we are outta place. Its the people with sane happy lives...
That need to be called outta place


----------



## estse

I daily wonder, "WHY AM I STILL HERE?" It's a bad habit, something that won't die, because really, I have no place else to go.

95% of what I read (maybe that's the problem) on this forum annoys me.

I think I may have to stay in this 30+ section, or die a slow painful distressing life.

Being here is sometime, always, like getting shot in the gut and left to bleed out. Or maybe getting kicked repeatedly in the groin until something gives.

Damn, I hate it here, but there are some of you that I like.


----------



## PineconeMachine

Yeah, I don't feel like I belong anywhere.


----------



## antonina

Yes it's awful having this condition as it is not so common. If we were alcoholics we would have a support group on every corner.

I can't stand this situation. I just keep getting stepped on at work. Everyone thinks they can boss me around I am sick of it. I feel like I am getting to the point where I am going to tell them exactly what I think and the heck with the consequences. I wish I could just run away somewhere and live off the land and not have to bother with other people.


----------



## KeithB72

Mmm hmmm...definitely. I've poked my head in here about 7 or 8 times over the past few years and have never gotten to a place where I felt comfortable or that I was making any friends. I feel like a minority within a minority within a minority. I'm older than most, I'm gay, I have social anxiety, people annoy me, I'm oversensitive.

Gah...to answer your question...Yes.


----------



## lonesomeboy

yes. No one chats to me, I don't form any real connections with anyone and usually I just lurk. Don't even know whats the point really.


----------



## orchidsandviolins

Yes.


----------



## Sierpinski

I feel out of place in the chat rooms. In fact, I feel like I'm surrounded by extraverts and I'm the introvert who doesn't fit in. I know that's silly, because everyone here is introverted.


----------



## BlueScreen

Yeah I too feel out of place in chat rooms, so I don't go there. I have boundaries and chat rooms, to me, jump all over them. 
I tend to find stupidity and arrogance irritating.


----------



## Sierpinski

BlueScreen said:


> Yeah I too feel out of place in chat rooms, so I don't go there. I have boundaries and chat rooms, to me, jump all over them.
> I tend to find stupidity and arrogance irritating.


I go sometimes. But it's a little scary for me. Often I don't understand the abbreviations (like "h3h3"), and I'm wondering if I'm too old to know English anymore or if I spent too much of my life living in a non-English speaking country. Lol


----------



## mel

Never really felt like I belonged anywhere. Including here.


----------



## Still Waters

If I have a sincere,kind comment for a blog - people rarely respond - they'll even respond to everyone else BUT me - The really sad thing is how much it actually bothers me,you'd think I'd be immune by now.


----------



## BoBooBoo

I always feel out of place. Everywhere, real life and online life. I'm usually the first one to be ignored or forgotten. 

In all honesty, I've never lasted long on chat sites/forums because it always turns out that I feel like no one cares, so why should I bother. Or if someone responds, it's usually to tear me down or mock me. Heck, I haven't even signed into facebook in 2 months because no one ever responds to my posts. I don't waste my energy anymore.

I figure staying away and ignoring is better for me than getting worked up that no one wants to respond to me.


----------



## Whatev

Yea I feel out of place everywhere tho I kinda like it.


----------



## Xenos

Yep. Almost wherever I am and whatever I'm doing, I feel out of place, and that I have to work to play along with whatever's going on or I'll be cast out. I can never be myself. Sometimes I'm very aware of this feeling, and sometimes less so, but it's always in my brain somewhere.

At this point I'm not even sure what "being myself" would really look like.


----------



## RiversEdge

BlueScreen said:


> Yeah I too feel out of place in chat rooms, so I don't go there. I have boundaries and chat rooms, to me, jump all over them.
> I tend to find stupidity and arrogance irritating.


I 'can' be a talkative person in chat rooms -- but even for me, it seems
like -- you go in -- one person says hi -- the kind of little welcome thing----then the 'usuals' go on talking among each other -- even if I try to join in....

I think it takes a lot of time invested for most chat rooms to get involved and join chats -- because it seems people have to get to know you first.

---I don't have that patience any more.


----------



## I Love Chimps

I'm not sure why I'm here. I thought I would make lots of online friends and talk about something important.

Now I'm just some weirdo who loves chimps.


----------



## MrBummer

Still Waters said:


> If I have a sincere,kind comment for a blog - people rarely respond - they'll even respond to everyone else BUT me - The really sad thing is how much it actually bothers me,you'd think I'd be immune by now.


Always bums me out when nobody responds to me too. Well I've only posted a few times because of that. 
I definitely feel out place here ..and everywhere else , besides home. But read things here, especially lately, That haven't made the SA any easier but at least it's not just me and that helps cope


----------



## erasercrumbs

I Love Chimps said:


> I'm not sure why I'm here. I thought I would make lots of online friends and talk about something important.
> 
> Now I'm just some weirdo who loves chimps.


Hey, with the noted exception of anyone that's been mauled by one, who doesn't love chimps?


----------



## chantellabella

Hi. I try to read as many as I can and comment. I just wanted everyone here to know that even in the off chance their post is overlooked, they ARE important and their words are important. Please don't ever let anyone make you feel worthless by their actions or lack of actions. Especially on online sites, it's easy to equate the number of responses to our worth. 

But it's more about giving the masses what they want to hear rather than who has how many responses/friends. If you really look at the threads, the long ones are asking people to respond about themselves. It's not a bad thing to want to tell people things like your favorite color nor to say, "yeah, that happens to me too and this is why..............." 

Actually it's a healthy group dynamic to listen, to say I'm sorry and then tell how the thread relates to yourself. If everyone jumped on a person's thread and tried to rescue/ solve/fix that person the group dynamic would be co-dependent which would only teach posters to switch between victims / rescuers and perhaps also perpetrators which is not a healthy thing to learn in the outside world. If you want to learn about co-dependent triangles (sometimes called drama triangles) google it. There's some helpful explanations online.

I'm telling you all this because I hear you. I've had threads with 300 views and no responses so it's easy to feel rejected looking at that criteria. But it's not about you. I promise. And it doesn't define your worth. You are all worth a lot, so keep talking. People are reading what's in your heart and sharing a part of your heart may be very helpful for the quiet ones here. I know I have read many of you guy and ladies posts and have learned things and not felt so alone. Thank you for being willing to share.

Tella

ps. I'm always willing to make new friends, so befriend me if you feel up to it. Presently I have a broken arm and typing away with one hand, but I will get back to you.


----------



## pianist

Very nice post Tella.


----------



## windchimes

"Its like when there are three people in the room, the other two will talk and i will be left out wondering why"

My response now, I leave.


----------



## windchimes

It is like that for me in real life...if its me and someone else, they may converse with me, if others come in, forget it, I always left behind, I even a had a good friend who would do that to me, she knew I knew NO ONE and soon as her wealthy friend arrived with her weathly in laws she left me there, ran off to go kiss up to them, I stood there alone, but I had to, it was my childs graduation from the elementary school and I didnt know anyone, I tried to focus on her, but we both felt left out, that is what upper class snobs do to people who are not like them, they ignore you, I really had it, I hate people anymore...come to think of it, why even bother talking bout it, it does not good and no one cares.


----------



## windchimes

Even on forum no one responds to me, done trying anywhere for that matter.


----------



## chantellabella

windchimes said:


> It is like that for me in real life...if its me and someone else, they may converse with me, if others come in, forget it, I always left behind, I even a had a good friend who would do that to me, she knew I knew NO ONE and soon as her wealthy friend arrived with her weathly in laws she left me there, ran off to go kiss up to them, I stood there alone, but I had to, it was my childs graduation from the elementary school and I didnt know anyone, I tried to focus on her, but we both felt left out, that is what upper class snobs do to people who are not like them, they ignore you, I really had it, I hate people anymore...come to think of it, why even bother talking bout it, it does not good and no one cares.


I'm sorry that happened. And I think those of us around here can relate and probably do care because we know how bad that feels. It sucks to feel left out and on the outside.


----------



## MrBummer

got to thinking about it.. a social anxiety forum is the last place i should EXPect social interaction i.e. responses to posts. and , also, that the posts that have been the most helpful to me were ones that never did get replies and were probably all the more meaningful because of it.. so , anyway.. ..


----------



## AceRimmer

I'm an outcast even amongst the outcasts.


----------



## windchimes

chantellabella said:


> i'm sorry that happened. And i think those of us around here can relate and probably do care because we know how bad that feels. It sucks to feel left out and on the outside.


thanks!


----------



## Still Waters

ww


----------



## estse

Oh, I'm out of place with all my chatty cattiness about cacti and geese. And that essay I posted about inseminating octopi was not taken well due to my vulgarity in what was a final biology essay report contest.

And then that one time, I posted all that porn.


----------



## Twelve Keyz

Mercurochrome said:


> Oh, I'm out of place with all my chatty cattiness about cacti and geese. And that essay I posted about inseminating octopi was not taken well due to my vulgarity in what was a final biology essay report contest.
> 
> And then that one time, I posted all that porn.


nice! :clap


----------



## shymomoffour

I really feel out of place everywhere even here!! Much rather be alone at my house!! But at least on here others have gone through some of the same things Ive been through and I can see how they cope!!


----------



## aloneanddizzy

I, too, feel out of place in every aspect of my life, even here. I feel tha everything about me has conspired to create an individual without any place in or value to the world. I feel that everyone and everything is happier and better off when I am not around. If only I had the wherewithal to never leave my house again, I think I would do it, but unfortunately that is not practical.

I do seem to get along at least reasonably well with others in most cases, but only if I can hold them at enough of a distance so they can't see through the mask of normalcy I wear each time I head out into the world.


----------



## IcedOver

I'm really starting to loathe this forum.


----------



## aloneanddizzy

IcedOver said:


> I'm really starting to loathe this forum.


I presume this is an attack on my post a few minutes before. I always seem to draw attacks onto myself, both online and in real life &#8230; the world at large seems to prefer that I keep my problems to myself. I guess that's one of the big reasons that I've stopped participating in many previous online forums as well as in the world as a whole &#8230; I don't deal well with being attacked, and starting way back with school bullies, some people seem to sense that and come out of the woodwork to attack me. In one case someone even created a new forum account just to be able to tell me what a loser I am. Apparently I'm repeating that pattern again here &#8230; it's a lesson I have to keep relearning until it finally sinks in, I guess.


----------



## IcedOver

^I didn't even read your post, so no, it's not about what you said. I was just frustrated with this stupid message board (although really the frustration is with myself), spotted this thread, and sounded off.


----------



## aloneanddizzy

IcedOver said:


> ^I didn't even read your post, so no, it's not about what you said. I was just frustrated with this stupid message board (although really the frustration is with myself), spotted this thread, and sounded off.


Wow, I'm pleasantly surprised. Thank you very much for the clarification. Whatever is causing your frustration, I hope it diminishes soon.


----------



## Cynara

I just joined this site, and already I feel out of place.


----------



## Cynara

Scorpion said:


> lol aww me too we can be out of place together :b


-You got it.


----------



## Hideko

It's not just here but everywhere, guess I shouldn't feel out of place here but do very severly as we all suffer from a lot of the same problems but still have a hard time to relating in what I read, perhaps because we've gotten here under different circumstances. Come here often but just browse through, never know what to say because I really feel like an outsider.... probably more I was going to say but am at such a low ebb in my life can't concentrate long enough to write a complete response.


----------



## catawampus

I feel so antisocial and out of place in almost every aspect of my life that even after finding this forum I have a hard time talking about myself or responding to other posts. I get so down on myself that I can't imagine having any words of wisdom to offer anyone.


----------



## bella as

I always feel out of place.I want to post comments ,But ifeel uncomfortable


----------



## catawampus

bella as said:


> I always feel out of place.I want to post comments ,But ifeel uncomfortable


I totally understand. I'm forcing myself to post in various threads. It's very hard though.


----------



## sadcassells

*Alone*

I am unlikeable as just me. I am fearful of folks getting to know me and therefore not liking the real me....so I find it hard to be myself. I am 34 years old and feel as if I am losing more and more of myself every day. It's as if I was created as a mistake...something just innately wrong with me.

I find it ironic that while teaching for years -- I developed the ability to just accept those as they are...flawed and all. We become a result of our experiences and that lesson has served me well in treating others with dignity and respect. I don't believe that the same courtesy is extended to me.

I am analytical, self-conscious due to torment as a child, and what is seen of me externally is a mask that is hiding so much pain. I do not know how to take life lightly...as some of my life lessons have made me become serious.

I am literally exhausted from trying so hard that I go into reclusion. The thought at making the effort (while treading ever so lightly) for folks to accept me is just more than I am able to bear. My job requires me to move often and create new relationships and I am getting worse at being 'social' as I get older.

Funny when looking back ten years that I never struggled with the issue.

I ruminate over every comment I make socially with the assumption it was mistated or was misuderstood. My natural expression is one of a person who is angry or sad, when inside...all I want is for a small amount of acceptance. Just as I am. Just me.

I give every area of my life all I have (my work, my marriage) and at the end of it - I just feel like I fail at every turn.

I feel as if my life is just narrowing in scope every single day.

...So, to your question - my answer is yes. I feel alone from the moment I wake up weary about facing the day until my last desperate worry as I fall asleep.

** Before I am judged for any of the above...please understand that we all have our 'story'. I don't know where else to turn to get this out, because I don't want to go to my husband, my one friend or my family with this. I don't want to cause anyone pain or concern or worry because everyone has their burdens these days.

I just want to cry for hours, go to sleep andf ade into the grey sometimes.


----------



## chrys04

catawampus said:


> I feel so antisocial and out of place in almost every aspect of my life that even after finding this forum I have a hard time talking about myself or responding to other posts. I get so down on myself that I can't imagine having any words of wisdom to offer anyone.


i kind of feel like that right now. i really want to interact, but feel so far from everyone and everything that i don't. it really helps, though, reading what people are going through- it gives me comfort that i'm not alone. but i wish i weren't so up and down. i keep coming back though. its like a group of friends speaking a language i understand too well, even though right now i'm just listening and not really a part of anything.


----------



## Uffdaa

Yeah, 

I was never accepted by my family though....my mother, father brother all have their own issues with not being very well adjusted people. 

My mother especially is a basket case and I experienced abuse and child neglect when I was younger so I always thought this had a lot to do with it ........

But I don't know really. I wish I could pin point the real cause of it all.


----------



## db4805

sadcassells, chrys04, Uffdaa, Your feelings are a NORMAL reaction to the experiences you've had. Your feelings are common and explainable for someone in your position(I've had some similar experiences). You are not a mistake. You have had some bad experiences and you've dealt with them as best you can. You are not all knowing and all powerful, and that's okay. There is no one who is. You are placing too much value on the reaction other people have to you. I have been reading a few books on depression lately, one that seem to explain these types of feelings very well. "Undoing Depression- What Therapy Doesn't teach you and Medication Can't Give You" by Richard O'Connor Here are a couple excerpts form the introduction; "I'm convinced that the major reason why people with depression stay depressed despite therapy, medication, and support from loved ones is that we are simply unable to imagine an alternative. We know how to 'do' depression. We are experts at it. Our feelings about ourselves and the way we see the world have forced us over the years to develop a very special set of skills. We become like those who are blind from birth. The become very attuned to sounds, smells, and other senses that sighted persons take for granted. They can read braille as well as anyone else can read printed matter. They get very good at memorization. But asking them to imagine a sunset, or a flower, or a Van Gogh is pointless- they have no reference; it's beyond their experience. Expecting us to stop being depressed is like expecting a blind person to suddenly see the light of day, with one important difference: eventually, we can do it. There are also unconscious forces st work, primarily fear, that oppose change. We develop defense mechanisms that distort reality so that we can put up with being depressed, or sustain the unconscious belief that we don't deserve to feel better. People learn to grow though experience, but the depressed person, out of fear, avoids the curative experience. I think that by practicing, by taking big challenges in small steps, by learning gradually that fears can't kill you and impulses don't overwhelm you, the depressed behavior, and enough non-depressed behavior means your not depressed anymore." "Overcoming depression requires a new set of skills from us. But now we are recognizing that happiness is a skill, willpower is a skill, health is a skill, successful relationships require skills, emotional intelligence is a skill. We know this because practice not only leads to improvement but also changes the brain. This a much more empowering and adaptive way of understanding life than assuming that these qualities are doled out at birth in fixed quantities and that there's nothing we can do to change our fate. The skills required to undo depression will permeate your entire life, and if you keep practicing, you can go far beyond mere recovery." "I believe very strongly that people can recover from depression but that medication and conventional psychotherapy don't go far enough- and how the research bears me out. The terrible irony of depression is that we come to blame ourselves for our own illness; I hope to show that this belief is a symptom of the disease, not a matter of fact. People need new tools, and practice in using them, in order to make a full recovery." "Depression is a complex condition that blurs our Western boundaries between mind and body, nature and nurture, self and others. Many people with depression seem to have been primed for it by trauma, deprivation, or loss in childhood. Most people with depression describe difficulties in their childhood or later in life that have contributed to low self-esteem and sensitivity to rejection, an uncertainty about the self and an inability to enjoy life." "Depressed people are in over their heads and don't know how to swim. They work very hard at living, at trying to solve their problems, but their efforts are futile because they lack the skills necessary to support themselves in deep water." "Depressed people are great strugglers, but to struggle is to drown. Better to learn how to let the water hold you up." This book has been a help to me, I hope you can find it just as useful.


----------



## db4805

Sorry about the wall of text. I put paragraphs in the typing but computer just jumbles everything together.


----------



## chrys04

i know i'm a couple of months late with this response, but thanks for sharing that with us db4805. I like what this insert is saying about depression not being our fault and not a permanent state. sometimes its very clear that what i struggle with today is direct result of my reactions to past circumstances and trying to protect myself. and now that i'm an adult i'm still feeling threats that are not there. its easy to say that we were born doomed to struggle against depression for the rest of our lives. but i agree with the insert you quoted, that living well and happy lives is a skill that requires a new frame of reference. the key is to have hope and to believe there's a better way to live (not easier but better). We all have challenges to overcome, even those who don't experience depression. SA and/or depression is our challenge, but its not terminal- it just feels like it sometimes.

Thanks for the encouragement. its good to be reminded that we're not a mistake.


----------



## Awkto Awktavious

Out of place here, out of place there, out of place everywhere.

Sigh. Oh well.


----------



## Rich19

well i feel most ppl hate and are bored of me and fell that those who don't soon will be


----------



## Mongoose

I feel out of place everywhere. I feel abnormal even on this forum. I don't go out much anymore because I feel like everyone is looking at me for being by myself. I hate going out and seeing all the happy couples. I'm 34, but I still feel like I did when I was a kid, and the other kids didn't want to play with me.


----------



## cloister2

Yes, and no one responds to my posts but that's ok because I don't expect it.


----------



## db4805

chrys04 said:


> i know i'm a couple of months late with this response, but thanks for sharing that with us db4805. I like what this insert is saying about depression not being our fault and not a permanent state. sometimes its very clear that what i struggle with today is direct result of my reactions to past circumstances and trying to protect myself. and now that i'm an adult i'm still feeling threats that are not there. its easy to say that we were born doomed to struggle against depression for the rest of our lives. but i agree with the insert you quoted, that living well and happy lives is a skill that requires a new frame of reference. the key is to have hope and to believe there's a better way to live (not easier but better). We all have challenges to overcome, even those who don't experience depression. SA and/or depression is our challenge, but its not terminal- it just feels like it sometimes.
> 
> Thanks for the encouragement. its good to be reminded that we're not a mistake.


Thank You for the response. It happens to be perfect timing for me. I've been feeling pretty down lately, so it's nice to see a positive response.


----------



## BillDauterive

Certainly, I feel like a "freak" everywhere I am, even among others suffering from mental health issues, etc.


----------



## Rambler

Yes, it always takes me awhile to warm up to people/places/things.


----------



## Mishcat

i can relate... was happy to see this thread


----------



## TobeyJuarez

i feel out of place even at places were im looked up to...


----------



## trinitrish

Wow, we are not alone!! I guess their are lots of out of place ppl around. I definitely can relate to the I belong in the dark corner group! 

Could never quite place my finger on it or why I just respond differently or do not feel the pressure to bend to the rules of society or care how im judged. I can make friends easily. People like me. I am a great listener. I have loads of fun. But I can never connect with people on the levels they want. I just cant grasp somethings. I don't see things the way they do. And I am ok with being alone.


----------



## Uffdaa

Well, I suppose feeling out of place is not a good feeling. Therefore I suppose if one finds a place or people where one doesn't feel out of place then it's something to value. 

Though, I'm not sure what it would feel like to be in place.

This place is a website, it's a collection, a database of words that are stored. This is not a real place in my mind. I'm glad that I don't feel 100% in place while visiting this site.


----------



## Uffdaa

Well, I suppose feeling out of place is not a good feeling. Therefore I suppose if one finds a place or people where one doesn't feel out of place then it's something to value. 

Though, I'm not sure what it would feel like to be in place.

This place is a website, it's a collection, a database of words that are stored. This is not a real place in my mind. I'm glad that I don't feel 100% in place while visiting this site, if I did I would be worried.


----------



## Kassandra

cloister2 said:


> Yes, and no one responds to my posts but that's ok because I don't expect it.


That's quite normal in a problem forum like this: Most people are too concerned with their own problem 'cos that's what brought them here in the first place. Everyone's energy seems just to be enough to talk about themselves - so there's not much left to respond to the other one's lives.

But at least here you have the* illusion* to be listened to and it's cheaper than when you've got this illusion in your psychiatrist's chair


----------



## thinkstoomuch101

cloister2 said:


> Yes, and no one responds to my posts but that's ok because I don't expect it.


See? other people respond to your posts. and you're not the only one.

I have noticed that in other sections of the forum? The kids just respond without reading what other posters have to say.. Even if they make the same statement, just different wording.

And just as Kassandra posted: They're just caught up in their own problems. That and a lot of the "Me Me Me" generation. (self absorbed)..

thus, i'll post anyway, help where i can.. and be silly whenever i wish. - hell, no one's paying any attention anyway.:lol


----------



## angellica

I'm new to this site, thought I'd try it out though. The question on this forum question caught my attention.... so little regard is giving by the general pubic to those (of course myself included) who struggle with feeling "a part of" or the affects of it ie.... depression. It seems like some people have mastered the art of hiding or stuffing these types of feelings down. I do know countless people struggle with this issue from one extent to another. I myself have always had a sense of never really belonging since I was little (not even in family) . I wish that the "emotional stuffers" would be more honest with themselves. I feel like I'm in the minority because I do share (at appropriate times). 

I'm not weak.... I'm just honest. But for some reason I get a sense that if there isn't a specific reason for the anxiety/depression like; death, illness, money issues or marital problems etc... then we shouldn't wallow in self pity. My comment on that is...... It's Not That Easy! Maybe I'm wrong and I don't see things clearly. But needed to take the time to share the frustration I feel. Please let me know what you think, anyone.


----------



## Dominokim

Lol, but not really funny. Yeah. I'm like you. 
Nobody likes me before they even meet me, so
I go into every new relationship with people
Knowing it'll go nowhere. And it never does
Not my attitude, just a fact. Women hate me,
I'm better than average but totally socially
Inept. Always can see looks and glances because
I say things totally out of context. No friends. Maybe
A couple of guys who want to bang me but
Realistically I know that's why they are really
My friend. 

Outcast in my own family. Have 3 sisters and 
2 brothers who've ostracized me my whole life


----------



## ManInTheMirror

LadyDarkness said:


> Yeah, I feel like I have no real connection with anyone and that people dislike me before they even meet me.


YES! Totally understand how you feel.


----------



## tinabean

I feel like I bother everyone by just being around. Like I don't want to make too much noise or say something that someone might not like. I tend to keep to myself most of the time because I feel that everyone hates me. I try to be as quiet as possible so I don't draw too much attention to myself.


----------



## Kinos Journey

cloister2 said:


> Yes, and no one responds to my posts but that's ok because I don't expect it.


IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE RESPONDED TO

-i mean, uh, looking back at the subject-

Sometimes I do, too. That's why I'm always grateful for when meaner threads or replies are jumped on. Not that life is all sunshine and lollipops, but it makes me feel not so shy that I'll be slammed down for replying.


----------



## Uffdaa

Honesty I don't really want to fit in exactly. The reason being is that I'm often annoyed with pop-culture.


----------



## intheshadows

Yes.


----------



## Tink76

erasercrumbs said:


> I instantly assume that everyone just wants me to go away as quickly as possible.


Me too. I am always surprised when someone likes me. Then I think they like me only cause they don't really know me and if they did they wouldn't like me at all.


----------



## Vegadad

I am intimidated by the forum culture. There seems to be an underlying competition to post more and become id'd as being a big poster. At least I can read and see others who also struggle. 

I'm glad you people are out there. 

Hi there!


----------



## Alienated

Oh gee.... out of place..... well... if you mean ALIENATED ?? YES !!


----------



## Esugi78

This forum is the first place that gave me some sense of community that I haven't had in a long time actually so that's good, felt like I've found me some comrade-in-arms (too dramatic? :b)


----------



## Lincolnradiocat

chantellabella said:


> Hi. I try to read as many as I can and comment. I just wanted everyone here to know that even in the off chance their post is overlooked, they ARE important and their words are important. Please don't ever let anyone make you feel worthless by their actions or lack of actions. Especially on online sites, it's easy to equate the number of responses to our worth.
> 
> But it's more about giving the masses what they want to hear rather than who has how many responses/friends. If you really look at the threads, the long ones are asking people to respond about themselves. It's not a bad thing to want to tell people things like your favorite color nor to say, "yeah, that happens to me too and this is why..............."
> 
> Actually it's a healthy group dynamic to listen, to say I'm sorry and then tell how the thread relates to yourself. If everyone jumped on a person's thread and tried to rescue/ solve/fix that person the group dynamic would be co-dependent which would only teach posters to switch between victims / rescuers and perhaps also perpetrators which is not a healthy thing to learn in the outside world. If you want to learn about co-dependent triangles (sometimes called drama triangles) google it. There's some helpful explanations online.
> 
> I'm telling you all this because I hear you. I've had threads with 300 views and no responses so it's easy to feel rejected looking at that criteria. But it's not about you. I promise. And it doesn't define your worth. You are all worth a lot, so keep talking. People are reading what's in your heart and sharing a part of your heart may be very helpful for the quiet ones here. I know I have read many of you guy and ladies posts and have learned things and not felt so alone. Thank you for being willing to share.
> 
> Tella
> 
> ps. I'm always willing to make new friends, so befriend me if you feel up to it. Presently I have a broken arm and typing away with one hand, but I will get back to you.


Anyone know why this user banned herself? That is some great stuff.

Sorry for the old quote , I was just reading up on this thread.

I have never been comfortable being a part of a group. And I feel silly and out of place posting here too. I even have my picture as my avatar and everyday I think maybe I should get rid of that and get more anonymous again. Then there is the shame factor. I just turned 36 and am still dealing with SA. Shouldn't I have grown out of this by now?

Another reason I have mostly lurked here is that someone always posts something similar to what I would have said in a particular thread. If I don't have anything profound to add I see no reason just to type for the sake of it. I'm that way offline too.


----------



## starsonfire

Yes, all the time. No matter where I am or what group of people I'm with, I always feel like I don't belong and that I'm different from them.


----------



## Jeffrey Bromfield

There are very few places to go for people who suffer SA. I used to frequent the Yahoo Chat Rooms but they've been shut down since December. So SAS is probably the last strongholds for people such as myself who prefer this form of communication with others.

If given a choice, I always default to avoiding people, but work/making an income forces me into groups.


----------



## tmarsys

Absolutely. I'm forty-nine and I've felt alone in the crowd my whole life. I fist started noticing that people didn't like me at about age ten, and it's gotten steadily worse my whole life. I'm always boring people, or saying something weird or inappropriate. The harder I try the worse it gets. I come from a family of six, and the other five are all pretty tight. They tolerate me, but can barely hide their contempt. I've seen the little nervous glances among people my whole life. Even my mother was somewhat indifferent to me (which may be the real root of the problem). Whenever I meet people they size me up and instantly dismiss me. And the worst thing is, I can no longer blame them. The whole world can't be wrong. I've always just felt sort of like a mistake, a mis-stamped coin or something. Even if I go to a 12-step meeting, somewhere you wouldn't thing people would be quick to exclude each other, I instantly feel like the "other." I know I have to fix all this, but it's gotten so bad that every interaction I have with people, all I can feel is their hatred. I'm sure much of it is imagined, but it feels so real that knowledge doesn't really help. Just joined this website today in a moment of proactivity/desperation. If nothing else, it's good to know there are others feeling these things.


----------



## Yer Blues

Jeffrey Bromfield said:


> There are very few places to go for people who suffer SA. I used to frequent the Yahoo Chat Rooms but they've been shut down since December. So SAS is probably the last strongholds for people such as myself who prefer this form of communication with others.
> 
> If given a choice, I always default to avoiding people, but work/making an income forces me into groups.


Was today a rough day on the catwalk?

Sorry, I'm just finding it hard to believe that some of the attractive people on here have SA. I guess gotta keep reminding myself that low self-esteem can arise from other factors besides being unattractive.

And yes, I feel out of place pretty much everywhere I go.


----------



## NicoShy

tmarsys said:


> Absolutely. I'm forty-nine and I've felt alone in the crowd my whole life. I fist started noticing that people didn't like me at about age ten, and it's gotten steadily worse my whole life. I'm always boring people, or saying something weird or inappropriate. The harder I try the worse it gets. I come from a family of six, and the other five are all pretty tight. They tolerate me, but can barely hide their contempt. I've seen the little nervous glances among people my whole life. Even my mother was somewhat indifferent to me (which may be the real root of the problem). Whenever I meet people they size me up and instantly dismiss me. And the worst thing is, I can no longer blame them. The whole world can't be wrong. I've always just felt sort of like a mistake, a mis-stamped coin or something. Even if I go to a 12-step meeting, somewhere you wouldn't thing people would be quick to exclude each other, I instantly feel like the "other." I know I have to fix all this, but it's gotten so bad that every interaction I have with people, all I can feel is their hatred. I'm sure much of it is imagined, but it feels so real that knowledge doesn't really help. Just joined this website today in a moment of proactivity/desperation. If nothing else, it's good to know there are others feeling these things.


I feel the same way! like an annoyance who makes everyone feel uncomfortable. I'm 44 and my self esteem is so low I feel inferior to others who have superior communication skills. it's like I have nothing to say and depend on others to carry the conversation. I detest talking about myself because I am ashamed about my lack of a mature social life. Ashamed of having no children, husband, etc. Feeling worthless. I wonder each day how I go on. The hiding and not connecting. I Do connect with a depression group, but I want a normal life.


----------



## NicoShy

Yer Blues said:


> Was today a rough day on the catwalk?
> 
> Sorry, I'm just finding it hard to believe that some of the attractive people on here have SA. I guess gotta keep reminding myself that low self-esteem can arise from other factors besides being unattractive.
> 
> And yes, I feel out of place pretty much everywhere I go.


Someone who is attractive can have body dysmorphic issues and being rejected so much because of awkwardness. If you hate yourself being cute can't fix it. some consider me one of the pretty ones, but I feel like a nerd with the glasses, tennis shoes, flat butt etc. I feel unattractive


----------



## SchizoLoner

mnshywoman said:


> I'll go to movies alone, I just decided if there's a movie I want to see I'm going to see it. Plus it helps that it's dark in there so it's not that obvious to other people that I'm there alone. Restaurants.... I have eaten alone inside a restaurant but it feels too weird to be sitting there alone... it probably doesn't bother anyone else but I feel really out of place.


I love being in the dark! I also don't wear my glasses so that I don't see faces. I find darkness to be so comforting. Going to the movies by myself is the only thing I can do. I can't eat in a restaurant whether I'm with someone or not. I take my food to go. I hate the waiting of any line. I am always paranoid. I wear sunglasses and my hood.

As far as fitting in, I don't have any connections here yet. At the same time, I feel very welcomed and everyone here is kind thus far. People on the web usually hate me more. Not always. The clerk at my supermarket mocks me.


----------



## Yer Blues

NicoShy said:


> Someone who is attractive can have body dysmorphic issues and being rejected so much because of awkwardness. If you hate yourself being cute can't fix it. some consider me one of the pretty ones, but I feel like a nerd with the glasses, tennis shoes, flat butt etc. I feel unattractive


Yeah, I should've thought of that before I posted that snarky comment.

Sorry Jeff, I should've kept my mouth shut. I hope me being an *** hasn't chased you off.


----------



## nadine

Yes, I've had a constant feeling of being out of place all my life. I walk through life in fear. I joined this forum today, though, hoping something fun in some way will come out of it.


----------



## ChuckBrown

Yes, the only place I feel comfortable is when I am in bed.


----------



## Janos

Pfft, I feel out of place with my own family.


----------



## Evo1114

I always feel out of place. Yes, even on here. Not that I really talk to a lot of people, but even if I do, I still have the feeling that I'm being annoying. I think I have adapted to it though. If I have that 'out of place' feeling on here, I can just not come on for a couple of days. 

I guess I don't feel out of place at work in terms of just working, but I certainly do in regards to the socializing aspect.


----------



## Eimaj

This is great. Yes, I feel out of place here very much.


----------



## Chrys

I feel so down  my loneliness is eating away at me. I cant make froends coz I look unapproachable and not interested. Why does my life have to be like this :'(


----------



## ilsr

Firecracker73 said:


> Yes, I feel the same... I think I finally connect with someone on this site and then it just fades away.........


I feel similar, not that I'm actively trying to make friends here except for possibly unconsciously lonely urges, as I don't feel I fit in anyways and I know others have their own problems and their own lives separate from SAS (i'm here mostly part time anyways). I always feel I'm automatically causing some negativity maybe due to SA fear and some unconscious neurotic intolerance of other's behavior around me. Like I can't control part of my mind that is causing problems and feeling envy, selfish, distrust etc running constantly alongside and often in conflict my "rational" self.


----------



## Elsewhere

Unfortunately, yes. As far as I can remember, no matter where or who with. The very few times I thought I did... I was painfully wrong.

Apparently there is no place or purpose for me. :blank


----------



## jenkydora

Yes, I manage to feel out of place in most places. This forum is no different, its my head though, I think.
I feel too old, but maybe should stick 30+. it used to be called crickets, and you know what crickets mean?
I feel I post issues no one understand or relates to, but I'm awkward and anxious is all.


----------



## jenkydora

Are ya all asleep, I have that effect on people


----------



## NicoShy

Yes I feel lost


----------



## Sky High

I've felt out of place a lot of times and I guess most people occasionally do. Sometimes when I'm among adults, I feel like I'm the only person who really sees what the world is about and that the rest is just ignoring it. Sometimes when I'm near children, I feel happier because their lives are so carefree, but at the same time it depresses me because I can't go back to that. And I feel out of place here because even if not everything is always great in my life, I don't really have SAD, I'm just a little bit introverted.

I dunno, I try to find the places where I don't feel out of place and tend to hang there for a while.


----------



## probably offline

Yup.


----------



## Alienated

I hate it !! This isn't life... it was NEVER supposed to be like this.

This is like making out with a mannequin... How is this supposed to help anything with social anxiety ?? Especially when about 5 % of the conversation have anything to do with it... I can't even say what I really feel or what to say without some starting a argument.

I only come here once in a while, I found a much better place where the people are actually nice, and not bitter virgins, that hate everything about themselves.


----------



## harrison

I feel somewhat more out of place here. I don't really feel out of place in the world - I have quite a strong sense of myself and a certain degree of confidence in general. 

I find it difficult on here that many others want to maintain anonymity when I couldn't care less about it. I like to know what someone looks like when I'm chatting with them, and on here most people don't even have a small photo. I also find the use of usernames odd - I can understand it, obviously, but I don't like it. Also the strange little "words" that have developed as acceptable terms on the internet ( like "meh" eg. - if there's a more annoying "term" I'm yet to come across it - but I'm sure I will. )


----------



## XnatashaX

Yup.


----------



## flight

Yeah I do. I feel out of place everywhere and it's wearing me out!


----------



## indigo999

God yes, its worse on-line than it was in the real world. People are no more understanding at all.


----------



## catman1974

I always feel out of place, alone, unwanted and in the way. It doesn't matter where I am. I don't call or go see the few friends I have very often because I always assume that I'm bothering them, and they have better things to do. In public, it feels like everyone is more well adjusted, more adept at getting on with and getting into life. I go to events that are geared toward my interests (sci-fi, steampunk, etc.). These are things where you would think that you could find the stereotypical loner, or nerd, or social misfit type. (Like any stereotype, it's both true and not. Some people at ComicCon are like that, some are not.) Even there, though, I feel like the outcast among the outcasts. Alone, afraid and unsure how to approach people or join in, and pretty sure I wouldn't be missed. I am convinced that people are prejudging me and don't want me around, either because of how I look or how I act. I've always felt this way, but it's getting much worse.


----------



## mike91

yep I do even on here


----------



## Vegadad

I'm slowly learning to enjoy the reality of my life, though its still difficult. I have always felt out of place. I am an introvert learning how to overcome the anxiety of being who I am in world that does not favor my existence. I am learning to find value in being me, despite all the set backs of the years gone by. I am out of place. I tried being "in place" and I suffered too much, so it's the "out of place" for me. 

Embrace out of place. Just keep going.


----------



## Koichi

Finding it increasingly difficult to motivate myself to make any kind of contact, even online. It's like I'm drifting from an avoidant personality towards being more schizoid. I still sort of feel a kind of primal need to connect with people on some level but at the same time really don't fancy it.


----------



## vaness

I feel out of place everywhere


----------



## deztiny

I am trying to learn how to be social. when I do talk to someone, the right words never come out. (at least not the way they are in my head) I often walk around for the rest of the day wondering if that person thought I was a complete idiot. In here I tend to think the same thing and I have no clue if what I just said makes any sense.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Everyday, all day. I don't fit in anywhere or with anyone.


----------



## komorikun

Sometimes. Everyone on this site seems to look down on drinking and clubbing which I have done extensively. Yet they complain about never getting any and about how others judge them for being shy/quiet/socially inept. Someone needs to pull the huge stick out of their ***.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

komorikun said:


> Sometimes. Everyone on this site seems to look down on drinking and clubbing. Yet they complain about never getting any and about how others judge them for being shy/quiet.


Drinking and clubbing isn't even fun.


----------



## komorikun

RelinquishedHell said:


> Drinking and clubbing isn't even fun.


Depends on the night. I had fun often times. It's fine not to like it but the way everyone here seems to think they are so above it all....


----------



## AxeDroid

I hate this reality, I just feel like I should not even exist in it. I wish a black hole would just open under me and just take me from this place.


----------



## riderless

komorikun said:


> Sometimes. Everyone on this site seems to look down on drinking and clubbing which I have done extensively. Yet they complain about* never getting any* and about how others judge them for being shy/quiet/socially inept. Someone needs to pull the huge stick out of their ***.


never getting any what?


----------



## RelinquishedHell

riderless said:


> never getting any what?


----------



## nerak67

I came here thinking I could connect to people and maybe make some friends for support but I haven't been any more successful than I am in real life. That is disappointing.


----------



## laura024

I always feel out of place here and in the chat rooms. So I stick to talking to a couple SAS friends who make me feel like I belong with them if not anyone else.


----------



## Archeron

Yes,i feel out of place.Here,at home,when i even walk on the street.


----------



## catawampus

Yep, I pretty much feel out of place everywhere except at home by myself. I put on a fake smile and do my best to appear to enjoy myself when invited someplace but inside I'm a bundle of insecurity and "fight or flight".


----------



## Almost40

yes I also feel out of place in most settings I only really feel comfortable at home. Feel I have little in common with people out there.


----------



## vela

I tend to feel out of place everywhere! It's always been that way for me. I never really felt like I fit in anywhere?


----------



## LowCountryTransplant

I certainly don't feel as though I belong in any of the places I've been thus far in life.

My question is...

...if all of us out-of-place people were deserted on a island together would we band together under common ground or watch each other die from 30 feet away?


----------



## gnomealone

LowCountryTransplant said:


> I certainly don't feel as though I belong in any of the places I've been thus far in life.
> 
> My question is...
> 
> ...if all of us out-of-place people were deserted on a island together would we band together under common ground or watch each other die from 30 feet away?


 If we were all on an island together it would be like standing on the 
New York subway at rush hour. We'd be staring into each others eyes as 
we dropped. But we'd all feel really, really sorry and be filled with self loathing.:blank ...

shouldn't post when this down....


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## BananaJoe

LadyDarkness said:


> I also tend to be paranoid and distrustful of people.


i don't think it is any paranoia :|


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## catawampus

gnomealone said:


> We'd be staring into each others eyes as
> we dropped. But we'd all feel really, really sorry and be filled with self loathing.


Sounds about right. I tend to soak up the world's pain but seldom if ever do anything to affect change for the better and then hate myself for my inaction. I'm somewhat of a passive activist and mid-level martyr.


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## TheBlackPigeon

I feel out of place where I currently live. 

It's as though my values, and the values of everyone else in the city are just..off. I honestly feel as though I don't belong here. Hopefully, someday, I can get the hell out of here and move someplace where I feel more 'in tune'. If such a thing is possible, of course.


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