# So used to being lonely,you don't even realize you're lonely?



## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

I know that sounds strange. But I've seldom been close to anyone-parents were very distant and didn't want to really know me. Siblings were both much older,so none of the typical shared sibling experiences. Friendships were very rare and short lived. Romantic relationships very awkward,as we weren't right for each other. It's always felt in many ways my "norm" to go through life alone. On a certain level I didn't miss these relationships because I never had them to begin with?? Only the last few years I've begun to associate that inner ache that surrounds everything with loneliness. Does anyone else understand??


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

Yeah i understand, being lonely is just the norm for me and has been that way for a long time. I dont see that changing anytime soon either.


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## mooncake (Jan 29, 2008)

I understand, I used to feel the same way. I knew it was abnormal for me to be spending so much time alone and to have virtually no relationships with anyone but I never really felt the pain of it until recently. I still hoped to be free of SA before, but in my own weird way I was content to be alone. Now I still worry whether I'm cut out for having friends or if I really want them, but the pain of feeling lonely becomes so much more intense and unbearable now.

I think for me, it comes down to having started at university and so I can't help but notice friendships forming around me and people being social - before, that was all mostly hidden from me so I didn't tend to think about it anywhere near as much.


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## neurotic1 (May 17, 2009)




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## Jimmi Barrett (Oct 13, 2012)

yeah, i feel weird with company because I spend majority of my time By myself. But When i'm with someone else, dinner parties or clubbing, I really take in the experience of my environment. I'm so aware of everything around me the conversations i'm having (after a few drinks of course) like the first time I took X my surroundings just turned foreign. Or in movies when a prisoner finally gets out and into the real word, he experiences "that feeling". I even came up with a name for it, i call it "Brian Eno moments" haha because his songs really fit that mood I'm in. Being Alone is my norm.


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## momentsunset (Nov 10, 2009)

Yeah, this is definitely me. I actually only am reminded of my loneliness when I am in certain social situations. I mean, it's not that I feel lonely, it's just, the reality of how I am living on my own is very different from how others live and people would consider it to be very lonely.
I laughed once at someone just assuming that I had to leave to get back to visit a group of friends. I still think that's pretty funny lol.


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## mysterioussoul (Jul 17, 2010)

Yes, it's actually only been recently that I realised I'm really odd compared to everyone else. Even though I knew I was a loner it didn't bother me but lately it's been clawing away at me and I feel so alone.

It's strange that I only have one friend and that I can't connect with people and that no one is happy to see me and that no one misses me.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

I recommend Patsy Cline albums.

They work every time.


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## Luctor (Aug 10, 2012)

Old thread is old! 

But yes, I've been living on my own for the last 3 years and it's only recently dawned on me that I am absurdly lonely. 

But then I play video games and I feel better for a few hours.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Yeah, that's basically how it is. I'm so used to it I don't even notice my loneliness. Like on my birthday I don't even want my sister or dad to bother me cause it just makes it worse. I notice it when normally someone would have someone to help them. When I move (change apartments) it's a problem cause I have no one to help really. My relationships with men were all rather stressful what with all the fighting so I almost don't miss having a partner. I'd like to have sex, I'd like someone to go with me to places/events, and it nice to have someone there when you are sick and for emergencies. But the negatives were just so enormous. 

I'd love to have a cat though.


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

I think it's something you get used to/adjust to. I know I'm going to be in for a shock when I move out, coming from a large family it will take some adjusting. I'm hoping that will make me get out more, but who knows.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

My life has always been this way. That's why I have trouble relating to people who go on and on about eating lunch inside the bathroom at high school. I went to high school for a few weeks. I didn't have any friends but I'd just sit there and eat by myself after just sit somewhere else. Whatever.


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## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

komorikun said:


> Yeah, that's basically how it is. I'm so used to it I don't even notice my loneliness. Like on my birthday I don't even want my sister or dad to bother me cause it just makes it worse. I notice it when normally someone would have someone to help them. When I move (change apartments) it's a problem cause I have no one to help really. My relationships with men were all rather stressful what with all the fighting so I almost don't miss having a partner. I'd like to have sex, I'd like someone to go with me to places/events, and it nice to have someone there when you are sick and for emergencies. But the negatives were just so enormous.
> 
> I'd love to have a cat though.


Yes,I think about that a lot-in an emergency,other people seem to have quite a list of people they could call -it's just a matter of which one(s) might be best for that particular situation. Also,people who virtually never contact me -if I here from them on a holiday -it just serves to highlight even more how insincere it is.- I'd rather hear nothing from them.


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## DubnRun (Oct 29, 2011)

I spend 24/7 in isolation for years now without speakin a single word 24/7, yet I still feeling really lonely everyday.


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## unforgettable66 (Dec 25, 2013)

I understand how you all feel then you have days when you decide to take a step and meet new people. All of a sudden you are at your door then lose your nerve and never make it out.


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## saltyleaf (Dec 30, 2011)

i understand it somewhat, just being used to it if thats what you're saying
im not ok with it yet though or content, im actually getting to a desperate state
i dont want to go through life alone so im trying to put myself out there more


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I think this will be the 7th consecutive Christmas spent alone. My sister is too busy with her stupid bf to hang out. Not that I would hang out with him.


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