# parents forcing me to socialize



## hachiman115

I’m 20. Recently my parents have grown tired of me staying in the house and have started kicking me out and forcing me to ride around town and “socialize”. The problem with this is I’m not a very social person and they have this idea where everyone should be social. I sit in my room and do computer stuff. I read comics, listen to audiobooks, I shop online instead of going to actual stores and even get free gift cards, so I am generating small amounts of money too. Since they are anti-gaming, I have a ps4 that sits and collects dust because I’m not allowed to play it. I come out every so often and sit with my family, but they watch to much reality tv which I find stupid and they watch too much religious & “holly jolly” stuff as I call it and don’t understand how the world really is. Trying to sit and explain why I am the way that I am is pointless. Sure I would like to go out and hang with friends, but I have nothing in common with anyone at college. And some of the people I talk to are into bad business (drugs,partying,etc) not that I have anything against it, but I’m not trying to hang around anyone like that. I have places I want to go and things I want to do but, I am limited by transportation (my car has lots of problems) & money. And here’s the other thing why I don’t go out much. I work 2 jobs and go to school. Both jobs are overnight. So while everyone else is asleep, I’m awake &working and I don’t go to bed until sunrise and when everyone is getting up for the day. I never get much sleep because they have a thing where I should be up and out the house “socializing” by a certain time. Trying to conform to this “social” lifestyle that they want highly gets on my nerves and when I try to speak with them about it I get “that’s not normal”. They still don’t understand that times have changed and technology has in a way changed the way we interact with people and hangout. The thing that drives me nuts, is I want nothing more than to move out into my own apartment into my own peace & quiet and do the things that make me happy. The thing that upsets me is how can you work two part time jobs which is almost like having a full time job and still not be able to support yourself. I have told them before if your living a life where your not doing what you want and what makes you happy, that’s a recipe for a life of misery. Any advice?


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## jlscho03

That sucks. Uh, I have at one point done the full-time school, plus 2 part-time jobs thing, and if you're parents can't respect that you need rest from that, then they are very deluded into not knowing how tiring it can be. The cost of living is pretty high right now and moving out with no roommates would not be a smart move, money wise.

I mean, you're really busy and I'm sure your parents are, too, but I wouldn't want anyone to lecture me on something like this. Do they have a lot of friends or socialize? 

If they did, it's just them pushing their life onto you. I've seen it with another person with SA, and it sucks to hear about. My parents are more laid-back and since they didn't have any friends growing up, they let me be who I am (of course, I still got criticized sometimes, but overall, there's no judgment).

The other person I know? His parents threatened to stop paying for his college tuition. Why?

He's making decent grades, but the reason is, is because he's not having the "college experience." I was shocked to hear they'd stop supporting his education (the main thing college is supposed to be) just because he wasn't socializing, and "that's not normal," despite the fact that they knew someone (me) who somehow went through college never making a single friend, never going to a party, never going on a date, never hanging out with anyone. But back in their day, they were real party animals, it lasted a long time, too. Clearly they are pushing their ideas and thoughts onto their child who is just different from them. Are your parents the same way?

I wish I had advice, but you can't change your parents' views most likely.

I don't know, you sound real busy to me, and my parents would've been very proud / understanding of that. I only did the school + 2 part-time jobs thing for about 4 months, but it was a lot. At best, I got half a day once a week with no obligations, and I just wanted to spend it doing stuff I wanted to do. I mean, you're working and you're improving yourself. You're doing a lot!


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