# Ladies, what do you look for in a guy?



## iCod (Feb 17, 2015)

Basically, what are some qualities a guy should have if you were to date him?


----------



## Mrs Salvatore (Mar 27, 2014)

I have no idea. I don't think about dating that way.


----------



## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

white, hot, tall, social status


----------



## Aribeth (Jan 14, 2012)

monotonous said:


> white, hot, tall, social status


lol, basically


----------



## iCod (Feb 17, 2015)

monotonous said:


> white, hot, tall, social status


No love for us black men?


----------



## TabbyTab (Oct 27, 2013)

Patience is key yo


----------



## MetroCard (Nov 24, 2013)

not lame


----------



## Genos (Dec 17, 2014)

kindness ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


----------



## jmjheart (Nov 7, 2013)

Spontaneous, kind heart, unselfish, christian


----------



## SunshineSam218 (Dec 6, 2013)

I love men who are mysterious, sweet, caring, open, can be romantic at times.


----------



## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Mostly intelligence.


----------



## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

Daydreamer_Sam said:


> I love men who are mysterious, sweet, caring, open, can be romantic at times.


By that you mean he's reserved and no one around knows much about his personal life yet everyone sees he's amicable/sweet & caring to everyone indiscriminately? Also when it comes to you though, he'll be more open and do romantic gestures?

Sounds like a rather introverted & humble guy.


----------



## SunshineSam218 (Dec 6, 2013)

Malek said:


> By that you mean he's reserved and no one around knows much about his personal life yet everyone sees he's amicable/sweet & caring to everyone indiscriminately? Also when it comes to you though, he'll be more open and do romantic gestures?
> 
> Sounds like a rather introverted & humble guy.


Yeah I love that in a guy. I love knowing a lot about him, at first he's very mysterious and the more I get to know him he's all those things. But everyone else around him still see's him as being mysterious.


----------



## Cmasch (Jan 24, 2015)

acidicwithpanic said:


> Mostly intelligence.


I'm always curious about this one. What if they are dumb but good looking or have other redeeming qualities. I know if a girl was kind of dense in the head, I could probably look past it for other qualities.


----------



## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Cmasch said:


> acidicwithpanic said:
> 
> 
> > Mostly intelligence.
> ...


I find it very difficult to date a good-looking man with not a lot of wisdom. My boyfriend is very average in looks and I do have to admit that I wasn't interested in him initially. He finally got to me with his cleverness.


----------



## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

Someone who hasn't given up. Someone who takes responsibility for their life and doesn't blame everything on other people. Someone with an open mind. Someone who can be playful. Someone who likes sex. Someone who likes to be affectionate.

Those are the most important things to me. Looks, money, intelligence, etc., don't really matter that much.


----------



## Carlfrukt (Jun 28, 2012)

Women love a man who plays a brass instrument and has a moustache and it's a big plus if he takes good care of his feet.


----------



## SaladDays (Nov 26, 2013)

acidicwithpanic said:


> Mostly intelligence.


Would you date someone who looked like Stephen Hawking then ?


----------



## jim11 (May 23, 2011)

Be realistic, financial status is important. You don't want to sleep in a run down motel or on the streets forever do you???


----------



## SuperSky (Feb 16, 2011)

'Makes me feel good' is number 1 . Being able to make me laugh, being self depreciating enough to get me to open up a bit and get out of my cycle of anxious thoughts (but NOT to the point of being depressing or exhibiting obvious self loathing), being nice/supportive... Do all that and I'm basically a fresh batch of silly putty.


----------



## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

jim11 said:


> Be realistic, financial status is important. You don't want to sleep in a run down motel or on the streets forever do you???


I've been poor my entire life. Being poor doesn't scare me. Besides, what's to stop me from making enough to support both of us? It's not like women can't have jobs and make their own money.

I'd rather be with a poor man who was passionate and had some sort of talent, such as an artist or a musician or something, than live comfortably with someone completely lacking in spontaneity or imagination.


----------



## jim11 (May 23, 2011)

truant said:


> I've been poor my entire life. Being poor doesn't scare me. Besides, what's to stop me from making enough to support both of us? It's not like women can't have jobs and make their own money.
> 
> I'd rather be with a poor man who was passionate and had some sort of talent, such as an artist or a musician or something, than live comfortably with someone completely lacking in spontaneity or imagination.


There a lots of women expect their man to have a job, even though they can work or even though they got a job. A job becoming a social status nowadays.

And how long before you fed up of him?


----------



## Mrs Salvatore (Mar 27, 2014)

I don't think money is that important, and I'd date a guy if he was poor, but if a guy was making a lot of money and being with him would make my life a lot more enjoyable and carefree because of the money, I'd put up with a lot more turn offs. Maybe he's boring, but then we have the money to vacation all over the world each year, that would make up for a lot of that boringness. Understand?


----------



## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

jim11 said:


> There a lots of women expect their man to have a job, even though they can work or even though they got a job. A job becoming a social status nowadays.
> 
> And how long before you fed up of him?


Yes, you're correct. Lots of women do expect a man to have a job. They use a man's job status as a handy way of estimating things like his determination, problem-solving ability, ambition, positive attitude, responsibility, reliability, etc. Many of those attributes are important determinants in long-term relationships as well. It's not an irrational rule of thumb, it's just unsophisticated.

I'm a creative person myself. I understand that real originality and creativity is often misunderstood and unappreciated, so I don't use financial status as a marker of those positive character traits. An artist may be ambitious, committed to his craft, an excellent problem-solver, responsible to his vision, etc.; in other words, he may have great character and still not make any money. I don't get 'fed up' with people just because they aren't being rewarded for their efforts when those efforts are genuine and valuable.

What I would get fed up with is an unemployed man who spends all his time entertaining himself with video games, television, weed, and porn. I'm not interested in being anyone's mother. I'm looking for someone who's going to challenge me at least as often as I challenge him.


----------



## jim11 (May 23, 2011)

truant said:


> Yes, you're correct. Lots of women do expect a man to have a job. They use a man's job status as a handy way of estimating things like his determination, problem-solving ability, ambition, positive attitude, responsibility, reliability, etc. Many of those attributes are important determinants in long-term relationships as well. It's not an irrational rule of thumb, it's just unsophisticated.
> 
> I'm a creative person myself. I understand that real originality and creativity is often misunderstood and unappreciated, so I don't use financial status as a marker of those positive character traits. An artist may be ambitious, committed to his craft, an excellent problem-solver, responsible to his vision, etc.; in other words, he may have great character and still not make any money. I don't get 'fed up' with people just because they aren't being rewarded for their efforts when those efforts are genuine and valuable.
> 
> What I would get fed up with is an unemployed man who spends all his time entertaining himself with video games, television, weed, and porn. I'm not interested in being anyone's mother. I'm looking for someone who's going to challenge me at least as often as I challenge him.


I seriously wish there are more person like you out there.


----------



## iamzloff (Nov 28, 2014)

On the other side of this, I consider myself having a few positive traits. Intelligent, funny, big hearted, protective. Though I (at the moment anyway) am very high maintenance. Emotionally i'm not very easy to deal with. How does that play into things?


----------



## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

BS meter on this thread is too high (excluding Aribeth).


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

M0rbid said:


> BS meter on this thread is too high (excluding Aribeth).


Your posts really piss me off. You're always trying to tell women what they think as though they all must be lying, because their individual views don't conform to your ****ty cynical world view that you've formed mostly to justify why you're single. I see you do this all the time.


----------



## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

^calm down girl.....


----------



## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

Chemistry with me is huge (attraction and where things just 'click' or that magnetic pull). He should love animals. He should love the outdoors. He should be able to understand me and communicate with me respectfully. Humor is pretty necessary. Uh, not a Christian. Able to be affectionate and express emotions. Honesty.

Things I look for er, will be.


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

M0rbid said:


> ^calm down girl.....


----------



## romeoindespair (Oct 16, 2014)

Whatever it is I haven't got it. :rain


----------



## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

Persephone The Dread said:


>


lol


----------



## keithp (Mar 13, 2007)

monotonous said:


> white, hot, tall, social status


I'm halfway there im white and tall 6'3" but I thought im more nerdy than hot and I don't have social status. I've been called smart but that plays upon my nerd looks, and I thought women found men with glasses sexy... I know women with glasses are!


----------



## LolaViola (Jun 23, 2013)

Kindness, intelligence, humility, ambition, physical attractiveness, a good sense of humor


----------



## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

good at consoling, intelligent, attractive (imo), patient, kind, caring, understanding, attentive, good manners, gives good input when discussing things, thoughtful, helpful, not trashy, similar lifestyle and views, etc.

i'm being idealistic, btw. i really don't think many men (or any) like this exist in today's world.....unfortunately.


----------



## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

Rule number one: never ask a woman for dating advice.

Instead, look at the guys they crave the most in your vicinity, and draw conclusions. You'll find that some guys seem to be perpetual virgins, while others are drowning in female attention - it's not a coincidence; there is a pattern.


Mrs Salvatore said:


> Maybe he's boring, but then we have the money to vacation all over the world each year, that would make up for a lot of that boringness. Understand?


A thousand trips around the world and gucci handbags won't lubricate vaginal walls.


acidicwithpanic said:


> Mostly intelligence.


I find that when women say intelligence, what they are alluding to is wit & verbal fluency.


----------



## Younique (May 6, 2012)

Malek said:


> By that you mean he's reserved and no one around knows much about his personal life yet everyone sees he's amicable/sweet & caring to everyone indiscriminately? Also when it comes to you though, he'll be more open and do romantic gestures?
> 
> Sounds like a rather introverted & humble guy.


This is pretty much me


----------



## aGenericUsername (Apr 7, 2013)

Social dominance. A lot of guys that have money are complete wusses... yet some guys in prison can get women easily. 

But if you notice more educated girls will go for slightly less dominant/more feminine guys while less educated girls will go for more masculine/dominant guys. I guess people are attracted to things that are familiar

Also genetic similarity.


----------



## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Your posts really piss me off. You're always trying to tell women what they think as though they all must be lying, because their individual views don't conform to your ****ty cynical world view that you've formed mostly to justify why you're single. I see you do this all the time.


Agreed.

There's no point in talking about what we want, since we'll get accused of lying, anyway. Just look at how many guys who have responded in this thread. That says it all.


----------



## catinkacat (Mar 10, 2015)

Sense of humor, kind, honest, creative, loves kids and and animals.
When I was younger looks were important but now at 32 I look for stuff on the inside rather than the outside.


----------



## bailey grace (Mar 24, 2015)

I have major daddy issues, so: Tall, Intelligent, Musical, Tattooed and Bad for me


----------



## momentsunset (Nov 10, 2009)

He's gotta be funny, kind, and at least slightly nerdy/weird. I don't care much about the amount of money he has. We could have a top ramen date for all I care


----------



## chefdave (Dec 16, 2013)

probably offline said:


> Agreed.
> 
> There's no point in talking about what we want, since we'll get accused of lying, anyway. Just look at how many guys who have responded in this thread. That says it all.


Women are mysterious and complex creatures.

Not even they know what they want in a guy


----------



## iCod (Feb 17, 2015)

momentsunset said:


> He's gotta be funny, kind, and at least slightly nerdy/weird. I don't care much about the amount of money he has. We could have a top ramen date for all I care


That's the spirit. Who needs a fancy dinner when you can have ramen?


----------



## sociallydiseased (Jan 5, 2013)

bailey grace said:


> I have major daddy issues, so: Tall, Intelligent, Musical, Tattooed and Bad for me


Well, uh.... Guess I'll be making a stop in Australia after deployment.


----------



## momentsunset (Nov 10, 2009)

iCod said:


> That's the spirit. Who needs a fancy dinner when you can have ramen?


Yeah. Fancy restaurants give me anxiety anyway.


----------



## Katlera (Feb 9, 2014)

I have a boyfriend so I'm listing these just for fun.

What I "need" in a guy: a sense of humor, honesty / sincerity, I need to find him attractive, and probably above anything else he has to make me feel safe.


----------



## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

Mr Bacon said:


> I find that when women say intelligence, what they are alluding to is wit & verbal fluency.


it's attractive when a guy knows how to do something a woman doesn't and can teach her it.


----------



## bailey grace (Mar 24, 2015)

sociallydiseased said:


> Well, uh.... Guess I'll be making a stop in Australia after deployment.


Ahaha, see ya then ;P


----------



## DistraughtOwl (Mar 1, 2014)

acidicwithpanic said:


> Mostly intelligence.


There are some very intelligent people who can be very cold and condescending though. Also I think wisdom and pure intelligence are a bit different anyway. I think a bit of wisdom and heart go a lot further than pure intelligence.


----------



## Conviction07 (Aug 23, 2013)

PocketoAlice said:


> A little feminine, edgy, stylish, interesting, artistic and/or musical; someone I can relate to.
> Bonus for being kind, affectionate, crazy, open-minded, adventurous and can put up with my s***.
> 
> I don't think he exists. :lol


He does, but unless you get a sex change he's probably not interested.


----------

