# Can't get over scars from high school?



## Anatomica (May 23, 2005)

I can relate as my high school years is still something I'd like to forget. I think my depression was at its worst during those 4 years as I didn't really have any friends, and I just felt hollow and empty around all those other people. I have to keep reminding myself that it was the past and does not affect me in the present time, but it is difficult because it sticks in my memory. I still remember going to my grad night, man that was so awkward because I didn't have any friends right, so I was just standing around feeling lost...don't even know why I even went to it lol. I'm still nervous that one day I'll run into someone from high school.


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## RX2000 (Jan 25, 2004)

I am with you guys.... I hated high school.

I live in a small town, and even now I have this fear of going to stores and stuff here, because I dont want to run into or see ANYONE from my freaking high school. 

I think high school is the reason I have SA. It pretty much taught me that if people get to know me they'll hate me, and that I am not worth knowing. I am STILL trying to shake those crappy feelings 5 years later. I'll probably struggle with it for the rest of my life heh.

All I know is that I'm NEVER going to any reunions LOL.


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## Babygirly (Dec 2, 2004)

RX2000 said:


> I am with you guys.... I hate high school.
> 
> I live in a small town, and even now I have this fear of going to stores and stuff here, because I dont want to run into or see ANYONE from my freaking high school.


Same for me.. tho I got it far worse in MS, I fear people [from HS] -will- recognise me and remember what a L053R I was. (keep in mind, I'm 24 so it's been awhile since I was in HS..)

I'll drive 20 mins over into the next town just to take my mom to the grocery store.. she wonders why I do that.. it was one I found not many people went to and it was secluded. It was great. but since shut down... I L O A T H E shopping in town.. UGH. If she insists upon going to the grocery store down then road, or the phramacy or whatnot... I'll sittin the ****ing car.

I'm afriad to walk up on people I (or my parents) know and they chit-chat about our life's accoplishments.mine the lack-there-of. Sh1t gets weird fast. I'm also fearful of crap like myspace where I put my real name/location/schools attended and where I'm [not] at now.

Even tho I don't THINK about what events actually happened to me then, it still effects me


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## sparkations (Nov 26, 2003)

Yeah, high school was bad for me. I had only one friend, who drifted away from me during my senior year. I didn't really feel like getting to know any of my classmates. I had to sit with this bunch of people during my senior year just so I wouldn't eat alone. How embarassing and intrusive, considering they thought I was just some weird quiet girl. Also, I had a falling out with one of those girls in that group in elementary school.


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## Farren (Jan 5, 2006)

Quietstorm and others,

Check out this book: "Please Stop Laughing at Me" by Jodee Blanco. This is a painfully honest memoir by a woman who, though now successful, had to deal with major emotional (and some physical) scars from being ostracized in school, bullied, tormented and harassed. 

Even though I thankfully did not have such traumatic elem/high school experiences, it was an inspiring read and I recommend it. 

Farren


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## GraceLikeRain (Nov 9, 2003)

I can think about all that I went through in high school now, and it no longer bothers me. It used to bother me a lot, but since I have been out of high school I have had to deal with a lot more depression and anxiety and what happened to me in high school does not even compare to what I felt like three years ago. I also know that what happened to me in high school did not cause the situation that I was in three years ago.


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## ChainZombie (Oct 23, 2005)

sparkations said:


> I had to sit with this bunch of people during my senior year just so I wouldn't eat alone. How embarassing and intrusive, considering they thought I was just some weird quiet girl. Also, I had a falling out with one of those girls in that group in elementary school.


Yea, I had to do that too, and I didn't really like a few of the people at that table, but I felt like they accepted me more than the rest...

I just hope that college doesn't turn out as bad as high school.


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## rdf8585 (Nov 19, 2004)

I'm the same way. First two years of HS scarred me emotionally and I basically don't trust anyone. I also can relate to the store thing, big time.


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## Sweetangel (Jan 12, 2005)

quietstorm said:


> I feel kind of pathetic that I can't move on from the living hell that was high school. I didn't have any friends, and my senior year I only had my sister and when she wasn't with me I was frantic to make myself look busy so people wouldn't single me out for having no friends. If you have no friends in high school and rarely talk kids don't want to be your friend and I often had people who talked to me one day than purposely ignored me so they could look cool or something even though they had no chance in heck of being cool. The kids were ruthless, they always are. I graduated when I was 17 and I'm 19 now and I still can't shake off the effect it had on me. I still talk about it even though college is alot different because I don't have to be friends with anyone. It's alot more private. On one side I feel like I have a right to be angry and upset over that time period and on the other I feel like I should "get over it"; high school was a while ago and it's not coming back (thank God).
> 
> Still, it beats me every single second and I feel like a weirdo. Anyone else have this problem?


i AM in highschool.. i sometimes annitiate some chats with people from other grades who know nothing about my social status.
one day i was in a good mood i just hung out with a senior guy in detention and we laughed it was great, now i had problems doing math so he pointe out a bunch of other kids who were good, i just walked over and (being totally vulnerable) asked them for help and was really nice to them and kinda hyper and they replied the same way- really nice and even ran to ask other kids the answers... i wouldn't have been that social had i not been in an extrememly good mood that day..
but.. its so diffrent in my grade.. i'm liking detentions


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## On the way (Feb 9, 2006)

High school sucked. Life begins at college.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

I still don't think I've gotten over the hell that was high school. And lucky me, where I'm from, we had to do five years of high school to get to university, instead of the usual four. Just one more year of hell. Well maybe I'm a stronger person for it.



> Life begins at college


Oh, how I wish that were true...


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## brygb217 (Dec 3, 2003)

LittleZion said:


> High school sucked. Life begins at college.


 Amen to that.


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## KatlinT (Nov 10, 2003)

High school sucked for me too and I think it definitely had a negative impact on me that still affects the way I think. I try not to think about it too much and over time my life has changed for the better since then. Yet sometimes when I remember how depressed and unhappy I was back in high school it really scares me now. But when I look at how far I have come and think of all I have learned since then it makes me feel better about myself. I’ve realized that all of those horrible experiences I had in high school have actually made me a much stronger and self aware person.


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