# what are you most depressed about right now?



## jfk1116 (Feb 27, 2009)

lonliness


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## Girl_Loner (Mar 17, 2009)

I can tell this is gonna be a busy one.


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## EmilyFay (Jan 23, 2009)

being a coward.


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## Metallic (Apr 6, 2009)

That I hate every second of college. It scares me.


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## sadsurvivor (Dec 5, 2008)

not having a job and being too anxious to go out and get one


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## Cyberboy82 (Jun 30, 2008)

Knowing I will never have normal life.


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## livinginfear (Jan 31, 2009)

Not having a job and knowing I'm going to have to go to interviews at some point and start a new one.


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## radudeATL (Oct 25, 2005)

Just found out my best friend from college is getting married. I should be overjoyed for her, but it's caused my to look at my own inadequacies. I just want to freakin date someone!

I'm sure I'll get over it...


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## Girl_Loner (Mar 17, 2009)

radudeATL said:


> Just found out my best friend from college is getting married. I should be overjoyed for her, but it's caused my to look at my own inadequacies. I just want to freakin date someone!
> 
> I'm sure I'll get over it...



I'm not single but I can kinda understand, nearly all my friends are either engaged/ married /married with kids! and I'm only 23. I felt like I was losing some sort of race/not good enough to be proposed to.

uh..sorry for the tangent.


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## Exile (May 10, 2009)

ok well im most depressed right now because im failing in school although i kno i have great potential..summer is finally here i would be happy but now im home a lot more with my dad who is a drunk and has tretend to hit me/throw me out of the house.
Normally i can handle this kind of stress but when it all builds up
i lay down and die


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## jfk1116 (Feb 27, 2009)

Loner_Girl said:


> I can tell this is gonna be a busy one.


yup


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## jfk1116 (Feb 27, 2009)

this song, its not my style, but love will do funny things to ya :


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## Desperate (Apr 3, 2009)

I'm trying my hardest to stay positive so I don't feel depressed at the moment lol.. I'm looking forward to living my new life in college and meeting people even though I have SA and it just makes it harder. But I know I'm getting there..


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## Sabreth (Dec 2, 2004)

Can't find a job.


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## fingertips (Jan 11, 2009)

being depressed


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## copper (Nov 10, 2003)

Right now I am depressed due to being in physical pain. My sciatica nerve is acting up. I have shooting pain from my lower back down my legs. I can't hardly drive or ride in a vehicle, also can't sit for very long, and also it is interfering with my sleep. People keep telling me to go to the doctor, but all the doctors are quacks up here. The cream of the crop don't come up to live here.


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## Hellosunshine (Mar 13, 2009)

I'm trying to stay positive so I'm not depressed at the moment. I'm feeling better than usual.


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## Manc87 (May 15, 2009)

my skin and hair


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## scaredtolive (Mar 19, 2009)

Being the cursed member of my family. My brother and sister are both married now and I've come to realize I'll probably never have that.


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## rachelynn (Sep 12, 2008)

How bad my health is and how much I could be close to death and that it prevents me from getting out there in the world to overcome fears.
I can't talk/act that good...not totally knowing who I am etc.


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## lastofthekews (May 11, 2009)

Not having any friends.


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## SilentArch (May 21, 2009)

my anxiety


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## Biscuit (Mar 20, 2009)

How alone I am. How every time i try to reach for someone, to share what I feel, they run away, or use me to validate themselves, or just don't understand. How life feels like a steep cliff but no one wants to grab my hand to keep me from slipping.


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## Globe_Trekker (Jan 29, 2009)

I'm depressed by my inability to make _any_ right choices at the moment...besides I have a phonetics exam tomorrow and have to talk for 40 min. straight  :afr


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## jfk1116 (Feb 27, 2009)

Hellosunshine said:


> I'm trying to stay positive so I'm not depressed at the moment. I'm feeling better than usual.


thats great to hear. im working on being positive, sometimes i feel its just good to get this stuff out.


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## nightrain (Nov 17, 2008)

I'm lonely and bored. I wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up for a week.


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## yogonu (May 2, 2009)

I am depressed about my past and also I feel like im just wasting time.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

I'm depressed about my job, my paycheque, and the possibility that these things will not improve.


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

Job, loneliness, family...existence.


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## Little Willow (Oct 26, 2008)

I'm just really lonely.
I wish I were normal


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## joggle (May 10, 2009)

Sleeping my days away because I literally have nothing else to do. I'm trying to find a job, but I'm not having much luck. I know having one would give me some semblance of worth.


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## ShyViolet (Nov 11, 2003)

I'm depressed about who I am.


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## nightrain (Nov 17, 2008)

Now I'm lonely, bored, and I can't sleep... yay!



:sigh


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## Globe_Trekker (Jan 29, 2009)

tony0306 said:


> Can I give you something to look at on a brighter side?
> 
> At last you know how to speak Danish. If it were me, I'd have to talk 40 minutes and don't even know the language. So, you're one up on me!!!
> 
> : )


Thanks for the encouragement  except it was in English not Danish, which was nice...I got A- for the content and C- for the way I presented it (I know my stuff, but I just can't present it right). Not too bad I guess...

...I like how my teacher goes: "Just relax some more; don't be so nervous and shy!"...

...easier said that done with SA!


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Being 36 and having done nothing with my life and having no way to get back all those wasted years.


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## MissMay1977 (Oct 25, 2008)

I am depressed that I have reached out for help and nobody is helping me!


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## LoneLioness (Nov 16, 2003)

Knowing that nobody has ever cared about me and that every person I've been close to without even 1 exception either lied to me or betrayed me. If I think about it too much I feel sick to my stomach and like I wanna die.


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## belfort (May 3, 2009)

not being the person i wanna be...


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## cry_rain (May 29, 2006)

been lonely and bored


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## girlwiththehair (Jan 5, 2009)

Having 0 motivation.


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## wiselittleracoon (Jun 4, 2009)

I think I wish I had a girlfriend,just a friend.I remember what it was like and I miss it.I think dif people in your life bring out dif sides of yourself and I miss what my couple of friends way in the past brought out in me.Confidence I think.My highblood pressure and being overweight and tiredness all the time.I'll stop at that.right now I'm starting to feel better.


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## VCL XI (Jan 19, 2004)

The fact that I peaked creatively and intellectually at 20, and it's been a six-year tumble down the stairs ever since.


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## tremelo (Oct 29, 2008)

VCL XI said:


> The fact that I peaked creatively and intellectually at 20, and it's been a six-year tumble down the stairs ever since.


ditto. i started my bridge burning young...


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## Someone Is Here (Feb 22, 2009)

All I want to do is go to the cinema. But the thought alone makes me want to vomit from fear.

Right now, this is what I'm depressed about. Amongst other, more chronic things.


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## KumagoroBeam (Sep 15, 2008)

I'm not depressed. Just annoyed by my lack of inspiration.


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## Unknownn (May 27, 2009)

I just feel so pathetic, no one around me understands, they just think i am lazy. It's my friends birthday soon and she wanted me to go to this spa with her, i had to say no, the thought makes me feel ill, so now she is raged at me because i never go out with her. I wish i could but i could never put myself out there like that.


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## Keirelle (Apr 7, 2009)

My weight. I swear I have body dysmorphic disorder... I honestly feel that if I could just get my baby belly leftovers fixed my SA would lessen by about %75. Only because it didn't get this bad until after having my son, and because of weight/body issues. But then, who would believe that? lol


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## Eleison (Dec 19, 2008)

People who seem to be anti-recovery from abuse, and who don't understand where I'm coming from in my healing.


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## CircularThinking (May 9, 2009)

cry_rain said:


> been lonely and bored


^


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## yellowpaper (Nov 13, 2007)

That I won't go out and get a job. And that I hate my hair.


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## Globe_Trekker (Jan 29, 2009)

tony0306 said:


> Good job on the A- in English!!
> 
> I know what you mean when you're told to "relax". I'm with you.


Thanks


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## Catching Fire (Apr 23, 2009)

That I might have nothing to do this summer.


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## miminka (May 10, 2009)

Being lonely, not having anything to do in the summer. Feeling hopeless... feeling life has no meaning. Wanting to meet someone interesting. The fact that if anyone knew me they would think I had no reason to be depressed. How annoying it is when you try to talk about your depression with your peers it turns into a battle over; 'Who's Life is Worse'. 

My teeth are really crooked and there's no chance I'm getting braces anytime soon.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

That I live in a world of morons, idiots, and dim bulbs who seem determined to come up with stunning new ways to do things wrong in ways that I could never have imagined possible.


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## Hot Chocolate (Sep 29, 2008)

About my job atm....


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## blank_mind (Feb 14, 2007)

For me my no.1 thing getting me down at the moment is the fact i'm constantly single. I feel like my SA has really improved over the last year or two, and that i am ready for a relationship. However, it just seems so difficult to meet anyone, most of the girls i already know either already have boyfriends or are not interested in dating/relationships etc... And i find it really difficult to just go up to a girl (or anyone really) and instantly bond with them :\


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## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

no job, no gf, no life!


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## tremelo (Oct 29, 2008)

this ****ty weather and the current lack of motivation i have in regards to getting my school work done despite having the advantage of being off work today. boo.


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## lastofthekews (May 11, 2009)

Being treated like dirt by my family, and then being made to look like the bad guy when I speak up about it. This has happened over and over and over again,and i'm so tired by it. The way I feel treated by my family is making me really bad at the moment, and I can't talk to them as they go immediately on the defensive.


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## michellemybelle (Jun 18, 2009)

I feel lonely too...
Also the fact that I have trouble talking to even my older brother >_< I left my nephew's birthday party early today... I felt so bad I couldn't even talk to my brother.=( I shouldn't have left I guess can't take it back now.
I'm also bothered that I'm too scared to go get a job because of how I'm afraid to communicate with people. =/ I'm going to FL in a few weeks to stay with my bf and his family. -o- I don't think his parents can understand... I just need to try really hard I guess. o_o


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## tomm87 (May 22, 2009)

My job, and the way my moods tend to change hourly at the moment.


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## belfort (May 3, 2009)

im not lonely im just sick and tired of having no motivation...i have friends asking me to go with them to a concert coming up and they are bands i like but i just cannot get excited about it....its beyond retarded, its like nothing gets me excited anymore..and i mean NOTHING...

for those that nwant to be in a relationship, you may think it will solve your sa problem but it really doesnt..its cool to have someone to be with but it brings up an entirely new set of problems..


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

I took time out to help someone when they requested my advice, giving it a lot of thought. Someone else also gave him some advice, uninvited, which was similar to my own. However, he only acknowledged the other person, praising them and thanking them highly. It made me feel insecure and brought back unpleasant memories of being totally blanked. I'm trying to remind myself it's not my fault how people behave.


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## Sabreth (Dec 2, 2004)

Sick and ****ing tired of this anxiety bull****. Yet another missed opportunity. Argh.


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## RoninDistance (May 23, 2009)

The fact I have not left the house in a week. :no


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## Dying note (Mar 17, 2009)

With how stuck my life feels. Therapy is not working. That I don't feel anything for my life anymore.


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## letitrock (Jan 10, 2009)

it looks like i wont be able to start _*learning*_ how to drive for awhile and it looks like i won't be able to officially start driving (like with a license and my own car,etc) until like wintertime/spring which sucks cuz the school i go has a sucky public bus system and things are really far away......esp by bus


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## miminka (May 10, 2009)

Dying note said:


> With how stuck my life feels. Therapy is not working. That I don't feel anything for my life anymore.


Therapy don't seem to be working for me either. I'm just not really getting anywhere in it. I haven't even got a formal diagnosis either. We've just kind of been addressing it as anxiety and we haven't even got to root of the problem. I don't know if that will come later, or what. But I'm just hoping something will get better.


_The Office_ isn't on right now
I'll be bored out of my skull for the next week or so
My best friend is having a jolly ol' time with all of her friends
All the good movies that are coming out this summer won't be playing around here. BOO!


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## jfk1116 (Feb 27, 2009)

im sick, and my therapist never called me. i really needed her too.


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## dax (Nov 19, 2004)

jfk1116 said:


> lonliness


Yah


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## DuncanThaw (Jun 19, 2009)

That my parents instruct me on what half-truths and untruths they've told relatives/friends, so that when I visit "home" I'll be able to maintain these lies for them -- so they don't have to be embarrassed/ashamed about me and my life.

I find this particularly depressing because I'm trying to avoid lies and shame about my life: the way I live, the things that are important to me -- it's who I _am_. And I'm beginning to like me, but it's all torn down again when I remember what my family think of me.


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## espearite (Jan 2, 2009)

The holiday...


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## jfk1116 (Feb 27, 2009)

my current med situation. i need to get my depression and anxiety stabalized so i can be able to take on the many tasks that await me. the side effects are killing me to say the least...


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## meepmeep (Aug 18, 2010)

i'm depressed because i'm not that social..
I don't have a social life, while i'm fighting to get it back!!!
Gosh..


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## Manic Monkey (Sep 6, 2010)

As stange as it sounds, IBS.


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## someguy8 (Sep 10, 2010)

Its my 21st birthday today. And instead of getting wasted with friends i will be sitting home alone watching family guy reruns.


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## kid a (Aug 26, 2010)

Manc87 said:


> my skin and hair


me too blehh thats an ongoing thing though, i hate it :/

im depressed about being depressed and lonely


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## Mister Mxyzptlk (Feb 13, 2010)

College starts again... *sighs*


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## macaw (Sep 6, 2010)

I can't see my boyfriend nearly as much as I'd like, and I'm paranoid about him dumping me because I'm a broken person. I don't have a job, too scared to answer the phone to strange numbers that could be from applications I've sent off. I also have no friends, and it feels even worse when I'm over at my bf's and he starts laughing and carrying on over Vent. I'm alone during the day most days.

So basically... everything at the moment.


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## CourtneyB (Jul 31, 2010)

God, where to start...


Going to my psychiatrist tomorrow and seeing how my blood work is

Lexapro is giving me really weird strong side effects and i swear im more anxious since starting it. I've had more anxiety attacks than i've ever had before

Getting braces back on 24 september for 6 months to fix gaps in my teeth where i had two pulled when i was 11

Going to get a physical 29 september for the first time since i was really young (suggested by my psychiatrist because of my weird reaction to Lexapro)

Where i live you have to drive 20 minutes to get anywhere and there's nothing to do in town because there are no hang-out type places. I wish i lived in a city... its so much more exciting and things are always going on...


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

The belief that I'm a fundamentally deranged and broken person and that I'll never be able to change, even if I miracuously conjure up the motivation to do so. Plus my obsession with revenge.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

no hot water in the shower. bare concrete floor. no kitchen. constant bickering. I have a cavity the size of Tacoma and no dental. No medical. Missing him. Still no money transfer. Already thinking about a one-way ticket back to the UK. The view is nice - I feel like I died and went to heaven, only I had to prime and paint the entire place to get in.


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

My face -_-


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## Toad Licker (Nov 2, 2007)

Summer is ending I usually get really depressed around this time of year.


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## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

Things that I cant understand. Why I cant figure out whats my purpose in life.


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## RyeCatcher86 (Sep 14, 2010)

Not having any inkling of a social life. Yeah...


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## Jeeed (Mar 6, 2010)

My anxiety keeping me from making friends and ruining a lot of other situations and opportunities.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

People that only talk to me to use me to do stuff for them, and not for any other reason.


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

CabecitaSilenciosa said:


> Just EVERYTHING!! But what I am really focused on at the moment is this guy. He's one of my sister's boyfriend's good friends. I'm honestly not crazy about my sister's boyfriend (he seems like a nice guy but he's sort of annoying) but his friend...I'll call him "T". I've never met T in person (nor have I met my sister's boyfriend in person, which I'll call "C") but from what C has told us, and from my sister's and my own observations, T seems like a good guy. Apparently he's really nice, and introverted, and a little shy. He's into art (very talented), he has a career (industrial designer), we have a similar taste in music and movies, he's smart, and he's gorgeous.
> 
> He was interested in me at one point (he liked my art and he thought I was pretty) and I pretty much blew him off. I told C to tell him that I wasn't interested in being with anyone at the moment, that I only wanted to focus on school. C insisted in having us just exchange messages but I said I felt bad because I was wasting T's time. I don't know. I just blew him off. After that C kept telling my sister that T was still interested in me, that every time they met up he always asked for me.
> 
> ...


None of these things are true, and the moment you realise this is the moment your life will turn around.


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## EmptyRoom (Jul 28, 2010)

That I can't even talk to him, nonetheless even look him in the eye :no


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## OrbitalResonance (Sep 21, 2010)

being afraid to get a job


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## quietgal (Oct 18, 2007)

Just anxious about the future, not sure if I'll be successful in getting a job after I get out of school. SA and just general social ineptitude is still holding me back in so many areas...


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

school and ADD


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## ktbare (Sep 13, 2009)

Not being able to have my kids. Living at my dads. Money.


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## MagusAnima (Mar 4, 2010)

Getting bad A Level grades and not being able to go to a uni I want. And having to waste money and a year on doing a foundation year instead. Also, my boyfriend is going back to uni this week, it's going to be so lonely without him - he's my only source of normal socialization.


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

I'm afraid of college night life and I don't think he wants to be my friend


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## CabecitaSilenciosa (Jun 8, 2010)

JimmyDeansRetartedCousin said:


> None of these things are true, and the moment you realise this is the moment your life will turn around.


Thank you.  I don't see me making that realization anytime soon though.


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

Work, loneliness, and the overall direction (or lack thereof) that my life has taken in the last 6 months.


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## Kris10 (Oct 14, 2009)

I had to give up my kitten...


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

Relationship/dating history.

1st person: Used me and stood me up and let me down with great frequency over the course of months. Little interest in my company despite declaring love. Patronising.

2nd one: All over me at first but wouldn't see me when we stopped working together unless she needed to use my library card or something. Would offload problems onto me for hours at a time as though I were a dump and when I stopped responding she became like a stalker.

3rd one: Didn't bother to date me or kiss me for months after we became an item. Accepted going on a date with me Vals day and wrote about how much I meant, then took it back a few days later and dumped me, realising it hadn't been meant. They decided a few years later they were mistaken, but it was too late.

4th one: Thought me ideal then immediately started behaving otherwise when we got together. I did the dumping, but would still get pursued to satisfy physical needs and would refuse.

5th one: Declared love during one of our dates, then rapidly switched to criticising me and dumping me. Reason provided: indifference to my existence.

6th one: Warm, kind, and interested, at first, declaring love and saying to me I would be the one to do the dumping. Months later, suffered long-term bullying and neglect at their hands and after about 3 years got dumped. Patronising.

7th one: Best one so far. As friends, she continues to put me first and call me _the one_, but would often be patronising, etc. I had to end it when she couldn't be emotionally intimate and turned out to have little depth, didn't even notice not being intimate for weeks, and wouldn't communicate about it.

8th one: 3 was a crowd. Most emotionally intimate and loving relationship. Most painful loss. She began dating another while we were an item and while she was loving me and calling me _the one_, and made a long list of why we/our lives weren't suited. I felt inadequate, offended, and bitter. Can't really blame her though.


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## jfk1116 (Feb 27, 2009)

this is partially why i am depressed. http://www.anxietytribe.com/Justin14/blog/

you'd have to read all the blogs and there is so much more that i can't go into.


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## Manic Monkey (Sep 6, 2010)

Nausea.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

Wife & I got into a huge, huge fight last night.

Kids stayed with the inlaws last night, tha's how bad it wss.


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## CabecitaSilenciosa (Jun 8, 2010)

I'm tired of hating myself


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## jlotz123 (Dec 11, 2009)

So lonely, I need a companion in life. Makes me feel sick to my stomach when i'm laying on my bed with no one next to me.

This is my face at night :cry


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

The fact that for years, I wanted to reach out to certain people and show that I care but I would chicken out and let them assume I'm not interested. And the fact that I leave a lot of things unsaid. Which is why I have no friends. I also get bad feelings from _trying_ to have relationships with people when it turns out they had a totally different agenda from mine, and I end up extremely hurt and disappointed.


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## Shizuko (Sep 4, 2010)

I'm just so upset that whenever I make a friend and reach out and trust them, they end up hurting me in the end. This happens all the time. I know that I am a kind and loyal person them, but they just lose interest in me. And it hurts me so bad. I've been waiting all week for a person to text me and just say 'hello' but they never did. I am always the one who has to text them first. They just dumped as a friend, and they don't care how much they hurt me. I've been crying every night about it. They just don't understand that I trusted them so much and they betrayed me.


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## Drewsy (Sep 23, 2010)

My mom has cancer, I had to move back to my home state 1500 miles away from where I was cause I couldn't make it on my own, I had to get rid of my dog in the process, I had my heart ripped out of my chest (this said person is still trying to play with my emotions, with no intention of leaving me be or at least apologizing), I went to and graduated from college and, instead, I'm a barista, I hate what I look like, my peers are all better than me...
Phew!


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## Eloquence (Sep 23, 2010)

I'm losing the few friends I still have, and it's making me really depressed. They met new people, and I try as well.. but I guess I'm not good at making friends. I'm honestly a very boring person.. and I have no self-confidence, I hate the way I look. I tried to talk to someone yesterday, who I haven't talked to in a while.. we used to talk every day, things just changed when I went to a different school. I thought he'd remember how much fun we used to have, & want to talk to me again too.. 
but I just ended up making a fool of myself, as usual..


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

Shizuko said:


> I'm just so upset that whenever I make a friend and reach out and trust them, they end up hurting me in the end. This happens all the time. I know that I am a kind and loyal person them, but they just lose interest in me. And it hurts me so bad. I've been waiting all week for a person to text me and just say 'hello' but they never did. I am always the one who has to text them first. They just dumped as a friend, and they don't care how much they hurt me. I've been crying every night about it. They just don't understand that I trusted them so much and they betrayed me.


Sorry to hear that happened. I know how it feels. :squeeze


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## MissMay1977 (Oct 25, 2008)

I'm lonely and I am worried about tonight. I hope some mania kicks in so I can pull off this meetup. xox:afr


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## CabecitaSilenciosa (Jun 8, 2010)

Not having a boyfriend is usually the least of my worries but for some reason this week it's been bothering me a lot. I just feel really lonely, like not-having-a-lover lonely. I really want someone to love. I really want to be held and kissed and understood... :sigh


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## Timeofallout (Jun 23, 2010)

Loneliness, lack of female companionship, living at home AGAIN! 

BTW: Home alone playing Fallout 3 in an attempt to Platinum...it's Friday night and this is what I'm doing :sigh


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## Havalina (Dec 18, 2004)

Financial uncertainty. The prospect of what I'll have to do for money.


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## quiet0lady (Sep 29, 2009)

au Lait said:


> the overall direction (or lack thereof) that my life has taken in the last 6 months.


This.

Regrets, feelings of wasted time/youth, moving back in with my parents temporarily and taking steps backwards while it seems like everyone around me is moving forward. Feeling kind of alone and lost at the moment. Blah.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

People who love me don't want me.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

The fact that all my life I was never really nice to people so I shouldn't really complain about having no friends since to have friends, I'd have to _be_ a friend. Which I can't, because I don't know how to.


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## Amanda123 (Jan 21, 2010)

My awkwardness, My failed attempts to change myself, My lazy efforts to keep trying.. Having friends that don't understand you at all and them being close to perfect imo. Idk.. just everything. I'm pathetic.


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## shygal88 (Sep 26, 2010)

My face.


:blank


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## ChocolateBuNN (Jul 28, 2010)

Not being able to met people's expectations.


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## basketball is my drug (Jun 20, 2010)

never being able to make a move on someone i like.


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## Give It Away (Sep 24, 2010)

Having a nervous smile when ever I'm out in public so people automaticly think I'm creepy.


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## accepting myself (Jun 27, 2010)

Not beeing able to accept what I cannot change :-(


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## VagueResemblance (Apr 17, 2010)

Poverty and loneliness. Yes that's two things. It's a tie!


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

powerlessness. stagnant.


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## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

I'm grouchy for no freakin' reason. (getting better though.  )


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## Northern Lights (Jul 22, 2010)

Panik attacks seem to become more frequent again. :um


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## Flame Sixtyone (Aug 27, 2009)

That I haven't felt worse in a long time


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## indiekicks (Oct 1, 2010)

The fact that I can't find a job, can't stay in school, and am just a source of stress and disappointment.


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

Not being as independent as I'd like.


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

VagueResemblance said:


> Poverty and loneliness. Yes that's two things. It's a tie!


:squeeze

Oy, know the feeling!


----------



## Superwoman (Aug 17, 2010)

uti and kidney problems  I have been on antibiotics on and off for 2 months and it just keeps coming back. I shall find out on Monday if I need an x-ray on them.


----------



## Hello22 (Feb 10, 2010)

That i'm spending yet another weekend alone


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## merryk (Dec 25, 2008)

I am feeling thoroughly overwhelmed by everything that I need to take care of now/soon...logically it almost seems doable, yet reality has been saying different :|

Places that look like my type of sanctuary are too pricey for me to rent alone, though in two weeks I'll be unemployed and then even dumpy places will be out of my price range. Yay.


----------



## woot (Aug 7, 2009)

i just lost her, for good.


----------



## catalinahx (Jun 8, 2010)

How much I need to get done. Not really looking forward to my therapy appointment tomorrow, as well as my doc appointment right before it. Wondering why my husband left me... why he just cut off all contact with me out of no where...


----------



## swiv2D (Oct 20, 2005)

I worry about my family a lot, college, not really doing what I want to do, not being able to figure out what it is I want to do. Being too old and not in shape, loneliness, Bills bills bills!


----------



## humility (Oct 2, 2010)

The fact that we all die.


----------



## fredbloggs02 (Dec 14, 2009)

Just not having well.. Someone going through the same things as me to talk to. I feel I'm ready to own the world but my unconscious holds me back. I'm not going to be happy with a luke-life when I look back. I have to do something, I fear I will never know what.


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## metamorphosis (Dec 18, 2008)

I would say my job. I work in a very hectic environment dealing with the public. I am a head cashier at a major grocery chain (King Soopers). So,there is never a slow day. People need their groceries. Dealing with upset,rude and irate customers on a regular basis can really bring you down. Plus the managers I have now are not very hands on and often threaten people with write ups for minor infringements. I am grateful that I do have a decent paying job.

This coupled with trying to find the time,energy, and motivation to continue forward in my schooling towards my nutritionists degree can get me down. SAD has held me down for many years and now that I'm feeling a bit better;I'm trying to play catch up. Sometimes, I just want a long mental break. Just a year, that's all I'm asking.


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## Cerz (Jan 18, 2010)

Death


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## littlemisshy (Aug 10, 2010)

My kids catching bug after bug. It is wearing me down.....


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## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

^ That would be tough. Sorry Miss. Hope you don't get sick too.

I'm depressingly lonely at the moment.


----------



## Belshazzar (Apr 12, 2010)

Is it possible to fully understand your own craziness?


----------



## Candiisland (Oct 5, 2010)

Online dating lies, and bull****, and wasting my time over that!


----------



## AshCash (Oct 31, 2009)

I'm just not living my life anymore,apathy and no passion for anything anymore,hopeless feeling as if I'll never have friends and be able to withstand a conversation with anyone.I'm just trying to be a little more positive and see where that takes me,cuz I'm sick of being so hard on myself.I think this is my favorite thread ironically enough.


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## xxkaijuxx (Oct 6, 2010)

Absolutely everything is going wrong right now. I haven't been paid for last month, so can't pay for everything that needs to be paid ie rent, pge, my puppy needs to go to the vet for a swollen joint, car, etc etc. I swear nothing goes right in my life and just so sick of it.


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## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

I don't know what I want to do with my life.


----------



## supersoshychick (Jun 4, 2009)

my weight, and also my life, the thought of me not having it successful.


----------



## TogahPartee (Sep 19, 2010)

I feel like I'm just slowly and involuntarily giving up on everything: uni, trying to make friends and even getting up to go to the grocery store. Everything is a mess and I have no one to talk to about it. Not that I would, even if there _was _someone around.


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## Shizuko (Sep 4, 2010)

My appearance, I hate the way I look... I hate myself.


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## Little Dragon (Oct 10, 2010)

Having no friends at College and not likely to make any, my best (and pretty much only friend) making new friends and likely to ditch me soon, my appearance in every single way, being incredibly lonely, being too scared to go outside except when going to College, feeling ill all the time, nobody understanding what I mean when I say I can_not _talk to people I don't know and it's not my choice that I can't, trying not to worry my parents about me not being happy, my stupid teeth and the dentists refusing to give me braces for the past 10 years, feeling like I'm being over dramatic by saying all of this and feeling like I'm not normal.

=) Mini rant over.


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## Hello22 (Feb 10, 2010)

Pretty much every aspect of my life depresses me at the moment, but the main thing that depresses me is my inability to consistently stay upbeat and social. I cannot keep it up for longer than a month and then i go back to my reclusive ways. I am also so out of touch with people my age that i don't like hanging around with people my age - i feel awkward and intimidated by them.


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## Revierypone (Oct 7, 2010)

I'm usually okay for the most part but what really gets me down is when my SA gets in the way of me trying to make friends and live a normal life. More than anything I want to make a stable group of friends outside of my romantic relationship and get a good job. However, when I lose confidence in myself or when something happens that makes my paranoia act up or when I nearly break down in public is when I feel like life isn't worth it and I get into a massive suicidal depression.


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## kiirby (Oct 8, 2010)

Little Dragon said:


> Having no friends at College and not likely to make any, my best (and pretty much only friend) making new friends and likely to ditch me soon, my appearance in every single way, being incredibly lonely, being too scared to go outside except when going to College, feeling ill all the time, nobody understanding what I mean when I say I can_not _talk to people I don't know and it's not my choice that I can't, trying not to worry my parents about me not being happy, my stupid teeth and the dentists refusing to give me braces for the past 10 years, feeling like I'm being over dramatic by saying all of this and feeling like I'm not normal.
> 
> =) Mini rant over.


Right, no friends at college is nothing to worry about since soon you'll be going to university, fresh start and all that, and making friends at university is pretty much inevitable since you're forced to live together. Also, don't be bitter for not having braces. I've had them since I was 16 and they're one of the biggest contributors to my SA. I'd rather just have bad teeth.

What depresses me? Is that I know it's all downhill from here. My friends are gone, I won't make any new ones, gonna leave my job in January, and I haven't bothered to make any plans for next year. I've tried so hard to get out the rut I was in last year, but I can see myself falling into again. And it was really ****ing horrible. I don't think I can do that again.


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## Little Dragon (Oct 10, 2010)

kiirby said:


> Right, no friends at college is nothing to worry about since soon you'll be going to university, fresh start and all that, and making friends at university is pretty much inevitable since you're forced to live together. Also, don't be bitter for not having braces. I've had them since I was 16 and they're one of the biggest contributors to my SA. I'd rather just have bad teeth.


Not meaning to be nit-picky or anything, but I'm not going to University any time soon. I kinda just started College, but the people are just...well, typical teenagers and I don't fit in with them. I wanted College to be the fresh start as I couldn't talk to anyone at my old school, but it has just ended up with me being the shy girl in all my classes again. Plus, I don't think I'll be able to afford Uni, and the grades I need for the course I wanna do are really high! I also know I shouldn't moan about the braces, but I think I'll feel better when I have them, because my teeth are one of the main reasons I can't talk to people because they are pretty crooked unfortunately.

I know this probably just sounds like I'm being a moany teenager or something, and I'm sorry!


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

There is a party in my apartment and I am to afraid to go out and join them


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## kiirby (Oct 8, 2010)

Little Dragon said:


> Not meaning to be nit-picky or anything, but I'm not going to University any time soon. I kinda just started College, but the people are just...well, typical teenagers and I don't fit in with them. I wanted College to be the fresh start as I couldn't talk to anyone at my old school, but it has just ended up with me being the shy girl in all my classes again. Plus, I don't think I'll be able to afford Uni, and the grades I need for the course I wanna do are really high! I also know I shouldn't moan about the braces, but I think I'll feel better when I have them, because my teeth are one of the main reasons I can't talk to people because they are pretty crooked unfortunately.
> 
> I know this probably just sounds like I'm being a moany teenager or something, and I'm sorry!


Oh okay, no that was my misunderstanding haha. I can't really give you too much advice on the college thing then, sorry. I guess just keep going and see what happens. I mean, everyone loves the cute shy girl. And unlucky about the teeth thing. I'm guessing you avoid smiling, and just opening your mouth because of it? I get that. It's horrible.

Hope the situation improves. I'm sure it will 



jhanniffy said:


> There is a party in my apartment and I am to afraid to go out and join them


Take a deep breath and a big swig of whatever tipple you've got to hand and just walk out without thinking. I hate the feeling of hiding away when there's people round. Constantly worrying someone's gonna shout and ask where you are. Go. Go now. If you don't... I'll screeeeeeeeeeeammm!


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## Hello22 (Feb 10, 2010)

kiirby said:


> What depresses me? Is that I know it's all downhill from here. My friends are gone, I won't make any new ones, gonna leave my job in January, and I haven't bothered to make any plans for next year. I've tried so hard to get out the rut I was in last year, but I can see myself falling into again. And it was really ****ing horrible. I don't think I can do that again.


I understand your perspective - If i don't start making attainable goals for my future, i'm seriously gonna be stuck back where i was not so long ago - and it looks like its already happening....


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

Maybe I'll start drinking.....you know you'll never do that!


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

Eh. Check out my latest thread for my recent depression haha.


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## Timeofallout (Jun 23, 2010)

I'm depressed due to regret, and lack of courage to take advantage of a prime opportunity that could have potentially made me happy for a change.


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

*hmm*



Willy Skass said:


> I'm depressed due to regret, and lack of courage to take advantage of a prime opportunity that could have potentially made me happy for a change.


Lack of courage? Wow. That's interesting. And what a courageous thing to talk about so openly. Are you sure about this lack of courage thing?

Is it courage in general you're looking for or related to this situation in your life?

Because, I wonder...if I tried to convince you that you were just following a belief system and you really did have that courage you needed, would you courageously defend your position and courageously challenge and defeat me and my logic? You would, wouldn't you?

Which does seem to suggest, perhaps, that you've got more resources then you might first think you have. And I wonder if the courage is inside you somewhere? Or maybe you have the resources you need to go out and work out how to get that courage you want?


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## Timeofallout (Jun 23, 2010)

joinmartin said:


> Lack of courage? Wow. That's interesting. And what a courageous thing to talk about so openly. Are you sure about this lack of courage thing?
> 
> Is it courage in general you're looking for or related to this situation in your life?
> 
> ...


My lack of courage pertains to a specific situation in my life which only seems to pain me in that I've had this issue since birth. Frankly nothing can, nor will, change my absence of courage.


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## Cedilla (Dec 25, 2009)

I getting a bit depressed right now over being unemployed. I was fired from my job of three years on the 21st of September. They got me right as I was leaving, I was fired for missing a bunch of days/being late all the time(mainly because I hated going to work there). 

Anyways right after they fired me I was over the moon happy, because I no longer had to go to that hell hole, I thought, well I will just find a better higher paying job, that I don't hate going to everyday. Well three weeks and dozens of applications later I still am nowhere close to having a job. I've had one interview and a job offer, but my school schedule would have gotten in the way so I had to decline it.

It really depresses me when I hear about people being unemployed for months at a time, because I don't know how I will get by unless I start getting some money flowing in soon. Since I was wrote up 6 times before I was fired I doubt there is any chance at all I could draw unemployment. I don't have many bills, but I only have a few hundred dollars in my bank account, and a credit card that has a 1,000 dollar limit, but I owe a few hundred dollars on it.

FML, I feel so helpless right now.


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## UnderMySkin (Sep 7, 2010)

Cedilla said:


> I getting a bit depressed right now over being unemployed. I was fired from my job of three years on the 21st of September. They got me right as I was leaving, I was fired for missing a bunch of days/being late all the time(mainly because I hated going to work there).
> 
> Anyways right after they fired me I was over the moon happy, because I no longer had to go to that hell hole, I thought, well I will just find a better higher paying job, that I don't hate going to everyday. Well three weeks and dozens of applications later I still am nowhere close to having a job. I've had one interview and a job offer, but my school schedule would have gotten in the way so I had to decline it.
> 
> ...


I'm sorry you're going through that. Can you move in with family and friends for a while until you get a job?


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## Cedilla (Dec 25, 2009)

UnderMySkin said:


> I'm sorry you're going through that. Can you move in with family and friends for a while until you get a job?


I live with my parents now, but they are always having financial troubles, so I end up paying half the bills. They are several months behind on all their bills, and the house in danger of going into foreclosure. What makes it worse is that my stepdad made 8 times more than me last year, and I was working full time.:roll


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## UnderMySkin (Sep 7, 2010)

Cedilla said:


> I live with my parents now, but they are always having financial troubles, so I end up paying half the bills. They are several months behind on all their bills, and the house in danger of going into foreclosure. What makes it worse is that my stepdad made 8 times more than me last year, and I was working full time.:roll


I hate when things spiral out of control no matter how hard you try. I hope it gets better for you and your family. Maybe you'll figure something out by the end of the year. Sometimes good things happen when you least expect them to.


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## Cedilla (Dec 25, 2009)

UnderMySkin said:


> I hate when things spiral out of control no matter how hard you try. I hope it gets better for you and your family. Maybe you'll figure something out by the end of the year. Sometimes good things happen when you least expect them to.


I hope they get better too, I've got to get my own place. My family stresses me out to no end. However, I worry about getting my own place then losing a job, I would be 10x as stressed right now if I was on my own.


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## Toad Licker (Nov 2, 2007)

People coming over that I don't know, I've let everyone know how bad my SA is and yet it still happens more often than I'd like. :?


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

*hmm*



Willy Skass said:


> My lack of courage pertains to a specific situation in my life which only seems to pain me in that I've had this issue since birth. Frankly nothing can, nor will, change my absence of courage.


I used to think that about my self hatred. I used to think I'd never get a girlfriend. I used to think I wasn't loved...I used to think I couldn't love yourself...We're mortals, not Gods. The world can and does surprise us.

And thank you for proving my point. Because what you said really was interesting. I challenged your belief about your lack of courage and you courageously defend that belief by saying:" nothing can, no will, change my absence of courage". Well done for courageously defending that belief. But, if I may, sounds like you've got courage but you can't connect with it over a particular issues in your life. That's interesting.


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## CabecitaSilenciosa (Jun 8, 2010)

I hate people thinking I am lying to them or sucking up. I swear I am not a suck up and I always try to be as honest as I can be!


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

I'm depressed over the idea that I'll never be with the only person I ever gave a crap about because to them, I'm invisible and living far away nowdays. I can't even talk to this person because of SA. **** my unreasonable thought patters. Fml.


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## LessThanThree (Oct 5, 2010)

My boyfriend just went back home and is hanging out with his friend... and having lots of fun playing Halo:Reach.

So now, it's just me and my cats... :| My own "close friends" only communicate with me through IM and text... I don't have anyone to hang out with or play video games with. Just me... and my cats. --- Excluding mom, dad, and brother. But hanging out with your family isn't the social activity I want. :/


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## Madam (Oct 11, 2010)

I'm depressed that after 7 days of SSRI withdrawal I still feel like ****...feels never ending the withdrawal....also scared of how I will feel once the withdrawal has gone and I am on no medication anymore...terrified I will not cope with my emotions when I start feeling them again.

On the upside I have lost 2 kilo in weight in a week ... can only stomach dry bread or grapes.


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## TogahPartee (Sep 19, 2010)

I feel like I am actively ruining everything for myself (especially in university). I have all this anger and disappointment pent up inside me and I'm trying to find an outlet like writing or something; but it all just get's directed inside, towards myself. I feel so powerless right now. _Dammit dammit dammit. _I wish I would just stop torturing myself. Gah.


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## sacred (May 25, 2009)

emasculated men keep yawning at me. its depressing and very confusing.


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## GreenBanana (Oct 13, 2010)

The fact that I have no clue what's going on in school, but that I have no choice to keep with it to stave off student loan debts which I cannot possibly pay off because nobody will hire me. They won't even give me an interview--except for a "preliminary" interview, which, for those of you who don't know, are just pretend interviews to make believe a company is hiring. And even those I only had one of. In retail. I can't even imagine what jobs there are that aren't retail besides dish washer, but apparently I don't even qualify for "entry level" positions. Man, I am not looking forward to class today, except for the fact that we start a new chapter, so maybe, just maybe it'll be about something I can actually understand. 

In my defense, that last chapter was formatted differently from the rest of the book. It had a running thread, but I feel it was so poorly implemented and adhered to. It was definitely as though the writers did not want to think about the required law book and tried to avoid talking about it entirely except to tell us to use. Without telling us how. And essentially the practical portion of the chapter was just math! All it needed to do was list parameters that we could use for basic multiplication and tell us how to find them in the other book! Organization, book-writer people. Learn it.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

MONEY!!

simply the lack or it... knowing im in debt, and its 2 weeks until payday.

Also being single. Been single for about 3 or 4 months, not long I know but im over that relationship by far and nowadays women seem to just look at me like im strange or something. The main depressing thought is being single forever.


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## CabecitaSilenciosa (Jun 8, 2010)

I feel ugly, gross, creepy, paranoid, unwanted, annoying, boring, deprived, stupid, hypocritical and dead.


----------



## Globodyne (Oct 15, 2010)

Losing a good friend...


----------



## lonelygirl88 (Dec 25, 2009)

Fri Night lonesome blues


----------



## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

Homework pile up!


----------



## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

Bleddin' people. All of them. Awipes.


----------



## kiirby (Oct 8, 2010)

Could only buy a minimal amount of bud, smoked it all with some mates earlier. I wanna just buy a quarter and make it last the week.


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## Duke of Prunes (Jul 20, 2009)

Bored, nobody to hang out with, and no happy substances to keep me amused.

Nobody cared about my birthday except for a couple of family members; not even my 2 good "friends" remembered let alone cared when I reminded them.

I've wasted another year, and although I've made a little progress with easy things like using public transport, socially I'm still as useless as ever.

I can't handle college. I've got loads of assignments piled up and I've missed a whole weeks worth of classes and a presentation already. I'll probably end up losing my place. I enjoy it while I'm there (even though I'm still struggling socially) and the work is easy enough, but I can't handle the volume of work. I procrastinate and put it off until it's too late then don't want to go in because I don't want to face my tutor and tell her I haven't done the work.


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## ~Jessie~ (Jan 22, 2007)

I'm not going to rant, but keep this brief and to the point. I'm most depressed about my health right now... my physical health. Mostly the fact of getting a parasite in me that can only be killed by medication I can't seem to swallow because I panic every time I attempt to.. bringing me so much stress and tears. This thing has ruined the last few years of my life, including a perfectly good friendship. I can't gain weight and always feel ill and worn out. I want to get better... if only I could psych myself enough to swallow these pills. Natural remedies help a bit.. but they don't cure me of it. All I think to myself is why did I have to get the one that is most difficult to treat?! or any at all, really. So I spend most of my time hungry and tired of.. a lot of things including dealing with my anxiety.

I guess I ranted anyway.. well I tried. It hasn't been a good day for me and this is the first day in awhile I've felt really depressed.  Loneliness is second in line but my physical health is my most stressful and depressing issue to deal with right now.


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## Vimsen (Oct 11, 2010)

Right now I'm mostly depressed over my best (and only) friend dying from cancer five years ago. Had a setback two days ago, as a part of me never got out of the depression of loosing her.


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## Manic Monkey (Sep 6, 2010)

Recovery seems hopeless.


----------



## kid a (Aug 26, 2010)

i have so much online school work to do before november 1st


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## MBL (Oct 5, 2010)

There's no such thing as being bored. It's just a word for being lazy.

Like me, staring at this website when I need to clean the place and do school work.


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## CabecitaSilenciosa (Jun 8, 2010)

I wish I were happy and in school.


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## rawrguy (Mar 29, 2008)

^same here, i'm glad i have a chance to change that though


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## foodie (Apr 27, 2010)

Hopelessness - feeling like nothing will ever change
Loneliness - never having anyone near me
Aging- feeling old as ****! Why did i have to turn 22 ;(
Ashamed- Because I can't have a normal conversation with people.
Dead- defined as living though 'life' less

Wanting to change schools- in community college just feels like I'm not getting near my goal of international studies at all because im taking classes becaseu these are the only classes offered. ugh! so annoying


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## MBL (Oct 5, 2010)

*Better yourself...*

HI

This might sound like some after school special, but hear me out.

An important part in recovery from anxiety problems, depression and such things is *making goals*, short term and long term. Where would you like to be in life??? And work towards the life you want. School is healthy and will make you feel better imo.

Being in school or (having a job you are happy with) will give you the chance to adapt to social situation and even make friends (of course). Don't aim for the minimum required effort. Aim for the very best you can be.

And you will be able to say you accomplished something after school is done or for every task you complete or raise you get or better job you obtain, etc.

If your life has a purpose, you become more positive. Not a cure, but gives you something to focus on.

Mine? Being a network security specialist, eventually doing systems penetration and security systems consulting ... if someday I can get that far with my IT studies (basically a legal hacker. LOL)... Not something you become overnight, but after years of study and employment.

Read books too. Brain food. TV is 90% nonsense.:yes

To sum things up: Do something with your life, face your fears and try to not just dream about what you want, work towards it. It would suck being old and thinking "I wish I had of done {such and such idea} before I got too old."

You can't hide from yourself all your life.

You might have problems. So do I. But don't let it be an excuse for not trying.

*Keep working*. _Overcome problems. Live life to your potential. Before life slips between your fingers._

_There is no such thing as being bored. Just choosing not to take action..._

_[What is bothing me right now? The thought/fear of getting old before I can become happy with my life...]_

_Don't mean to preach, but this is what I have come to understand after years of unhappiness._

_Take control of your life. Don't let your problems be an excuse for inaction._

_Wish you all the best in your lives. _


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## CabecitaSilenciosa (Jun 8, 2010)

Sometimes I worry about the dumbest things. I am so incredibly paranoid.


----------



## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

Just nothing being exciting or worth living for anymore. Not caring about myself or anyone else.


----------



## macaw (Sep 6, 2010)

Not having a purpose.


----------



## mrbojangles (Oct 8, 2009)

loneliness.


----------



## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

Not being able to reach out to someone... knowing it's just best I don't... wanting to but knowing I need to just not.


----------



## EmptyRoom (Jul 28, 2010)

I can't talk to a certain person, and it's been bugging me for a very long while now


----------



## FakeFur (Nov 4, 2009)

My messing up continually keeps me from forming friendships and relationships that I deeply long for. It's so frustrating and depressing.


----------



## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

That the damage is done, that I'll never be the person I want to be. But more than that, it's that I'm hurting so many people in my struggle to just keep my head on straight.

What I mean is, I'll never be the dad I really want to be, imagined I could be to my 3 kids. They're 7. 7 and 10 years old now. I disappoint them, but they don't fully understand what an emotional & mental train wreck I am. They don't know any better, right now, but one day I'm sure they will.

I'll never be the husband my wife wants & needs. That's been proven, she's had an emotional, maybe also a physical affair also. She may as well have f*kced him, she told me so herself.

I'll never be the son my mom & dad wanted.

I'm not just one disappointment, it would be easier I think if I just let myself down. I affect too many other people. I'll never be able to get well enough to be the person I once was.


----------



## Tweedy (Jan 10, 2010)

CabecitaSilenciosa said:


> Sometimes I worry about the dumbest things. I am so incredibly paranoid.


ditto!


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## CabecitaSilenciosa (Jun 8, 2010)

I always tend to say something that offends someone.


----------



## Manic Monkey (Sep 6, 2010)

When I talk, no one listens. When I remain silent, all criticize.


----------



## sazzie (Oct 9, 2010)

My weight is bothering my at the momment, th last 10 pounds are the wors to lose. I feel like the only way to hit my goal is to eat under 400 calories a day. its worked so far. Im 120 pounds but feel like a whale I hate thinking about myself.


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## Batgirl (Oct 15, 2010)

Loneliness. I feel trapped in social anxiety, if that makes sense...


----------



## kosherpiggy (Apr 7, 2010)

this kid i barely knew killed himself yesterday. :[


----------



## MBL (Oct 5, 2010)

ultrashy said:


> that i live in a world of morons, idiots, and dim bulbs who seem determined to come up with stunning new ways to do things wrong in ways that i could never have imagined possible.


*indeed.*


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## MBL (Oct 5, 2010)

kosherpiggy said:


> this kid i barely knew killed himself yesterday. :[


Half my friends are dead, and the rest are in the military waiting to be.


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

We're gonna be just friends


----------



## dreaminginacoustic1984 (Jul 27, 2010)

Feeling invisible.:blank


----------



## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

I'm letting myself fall for her all over again and I know it's for the worst. But I don't have the power to resist.


----------



## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

I'm an anxious wreck and I'm so sick of living like this all the time and its not like its because of my lack of trying I've done tons of therapy a year of group and years of individual with different therapists tried differen styles of therapy cbt dbt mbcbt and tried a million meds I feel so f'd over by life and like a lost cause.:sigh end rant...


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## glitterfish (Sep 12, 2010)

Sounds silly and trivial... but I really wish I had plans for Halloween


----------



## King Moonracer (Oct 12, 2010)

Irony. Cymbalta is working for depression, but not at all for anxiety. Doctor wants to try lexapro. Is that any good?

Got an F for participation grade in my college history class because i dont talk enough in class and i dont go to office hours...How can that mother fcuker fail me for participation when i go to class and do all the work. I could see a D or a C but an F? Piece of siht narcissistic penis faced proffessor. I guess its good i have social anxiety, because if i werent scared to talk in that class id get kicked out. Id tell him what a dooosh he is. He openely insults the students during class, and is intimidating as poop. Like today when this one kid asked an innocent question about if a paper would be pushed back a few days because of the downed computer system, the prof told him that the question was absurd and to think that was rediculous,, in front of the whole class. Its hard enough to talk in class without social anxiety....I cant believe he could fail me for at least participating somewhat in his class. I go to class and do all the work, and get C's and B's..


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## CabecitaSilenciosa (Jun 8, 2010)

glitterfish said:


> Sounds silly and trivial... but I really wish I had plans for Halloween


Me too.


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## Tweedy (Jan 10, 2010)

glitterfish said:


> Sounds silly and trivial... but I really wish I had plans for Halloween


Ditto!:yes


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

I'm even to embarrassed to talk about it to the councillor


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

Um, not having her, or something of that nature.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

My heart got pretty much destroyed. Don't really know what to do anymore.


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## CookieBee (Oct 20, 2010)

Not being able to live where I want to. This city is bringing me down so much. Seven months ago I was happy, somewhat unfulfilled professionally, but happy nonetheless. Living abroad, dating, excellent social life, lots of friends but I've nothing now. My visa ran out and I had to come home to a place where all my friends have graduated and moved away, I feel deeply unattractive compared to my gorgeous countrywomen and I've still got 2 years left of uni which I barely attend as my anxiety's become worse (literally went to 0 classes this semester).


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## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

Well firstly, it's that time again. I can't force myself to be the person I want to be. There is no good reason for it either. What the heck?!:mum


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## KumagoroBeam (Sep 15, 2008)

binge eating.


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## Manic Monkey (Sep 6, 2010)

glitterfish said:


> Sounds silly and trivial... but I really wish I had plans for Halloween


:ditto


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

BEING ALONE, which ironically I can't fix because reaching out and talking to others makes me realize how pathetic I really am, and then I don't want anything to do with others and isolate myself. Then the ****ing cycle starts again. Woop dee ****ing doo.


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## Madbritt (Nov 12, 2008)

I can't help but compare myself to others, which always makes me feel like a failure at life.


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## sas111 (Oct 20, 2010)

I've been sooo dawm Lonely lately, .. but can't work up the courage to make new freinds ... I'll just end up acting weird or do something to embarrass myself. D=

Also feeling depressed and sorta jelous of how popular & outgoing my sister is ... she's always out 'n about with her X159456973 freinds -_-, & then she comes home to find me STILL doing the same thing as when she left... & laughs in my face ...


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

I'm not so much that as terrified.


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## CabecitaSilenciosa (Jun 8, 2010)

I'm an embarrassment to my whole family.


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## LessThanThree (Oct 5, 2010)

My boyfriend dropped out of college in May... and still hasn't found a job. :/

I don't think he'll ever get one... and he won't go back to college...

... and I tell my entire family I want to marry him... and they act like it's a joke because of him dropping out and being unemployed...


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

I'm depressed today because I want someone to be here loving me and touching me, instead of perpetually being alone.


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## Emptyheart (Sep 15, 2009)

My life isn't moving.
It's just...stuck.

I wish I can fix things in myself...but I've got to except things.

I have trouble speaking out..and standing up for myself.

I have people trying to change me.

I have family that doesn't approve of certain things I do. 

I am not a little kid.


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## Honey8701 (Oct 23, 2010)

I wish the person i care about understood my anxiety.


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## snowfly (Dec 14, 2008)

I can't be the way I'd like to be/unable to unlock the real me. 
Someone I really like doesn't know I exist. Feel like a creep liking her so much, depressed wishing I could be someone she'd like to be around.


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## Lara Jane (Oct 26, 2010)

I am most depressed about the fact that I can't be the real me in front of friends, and that I get depressed because I'm holding back


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

pain!!


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## Under17 (May 4, 2010)

Dr House said:


> pain!!


This. And ringing in the ears.


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

I can't sing...I wish I could sing


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## EmptyRoom (Jul 28, 2010)

Misunderstandings; the feeling of not belonging anywhere.


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## Nameless Someone (Oct 21, 2010)

I feel like crap -_-


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

That I feel like an outcast at school and this is affecting my mood and infringing on every aspect of my life.


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## Timeofallout (Jun 23, 2010)

Dieing to express my feelings for someone, but can't seem to make a sound.


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## amene (Mar 28, 2010)

rachelynn said:


> How bad my health is and how much I could be close to death and that it prevents me from getting out there in the world to overcome fears.
> I can't talk/act that good...not totally knowing who I am etc.


aww I hope you get better...


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## amene (Mar 28, 2010)

Alway liking guys who don't even notice me, or care to bother. Can never seem to get good grades, I'm ****ing up college..MY social skills have gone so bad, I can hardly talk to people anymore, I want to make new friends, but it's so hard! and the friends I do have most of them are fake. Feel lonely almost everyday, Feel ugly most of the time, things most of the time just don't work out and I don't get why..I want to be happy for once, don't we all. Yet, why is it so hard to obtain?


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## camtrol (Sep 29, 2010)

The same as DR House, pain, in general physical pain that leads me down the road to psychological pain from never making any real gains and feeling like a loser because of it. I take 7 different meds as well, and two of them are for pain, fentanly 50 mgh and tylenol 3- 3 times daily. I was at 125 mgh of fentayl by itself but my doc did some changing around that ended up making me a bit touchy to higher doses for some reason.


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## Kanashi (Jan 5, 2008)

Life and how being a sociable person now has not ease the pain.


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## cellophanegirl (Sep 21, 2009)

Someone told me the other day that I wasn't very expressive. It made me sad because I thought I'd gotten over a lot of my anxiety, but I guess the way I present myself is still very internal and reserved. 

In other news, I don't really like anyone and I feel like I never will. I find myself feeling very alienated from my friends when they're giving me attention, but also jealous when they give more attention to someone else. I guess I'm jealous of what seems like a sincere connection between them and another friend which I can't seem to achieve, even when I'm being addressed personally.


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## CabecitaSilenciosa (Jun 8, 2010)

cellophanegirl said:


> Someone told me the other day that I wasn't very expressive. It made me sad because I thought I'd gotten over a lot of my anxiety, but I guess the way I present myself is still very internal and reserved.
> 
> In other news, I don't really like anyone and I feel like I never will. I find myself feeling very alienated from my friends when they're giving me attention, but also jealous when they give more attention to someone else. I guess I'm jealous of what seems like a sincere connection between them and another friend which I can't seem to achieve, even when I'm being addressed personally.


My eyes started tearing up when I read this, lol.

That's happened to me many times. I feel I've done a good job with something, I feel my social anxiety has lessened and I've gotten better, but then suddenly someone points out, once again, how quiet I am, or how shy I seem, or how I always appear to be angry or bored. That really hurts, it does.

And your other post, I no longer have real life "friends", but when I did have some, I always felt that way with them. I can say I've always felt that way with everyone, off and online, even with my family. My family, I know I am related to them and all, and I do care for them, but I always feel like I don't completely belong with them. I feel like some type of impostor, and that is part of why I spend most of my time locked up in my room alone.


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## mikesmith (Nov 1, 2010)

I have always been skinny and always been convinced I need to put on some muscle in order to be anyone in life. I was in the gym 4 months ago and felt a pop in my biceps. Ever since, I have been convinced I have torn a tendon. I can't go the the gym. I am scared to lift anything. I was terrified about the thought of having an operation and felt like it was going to be stressful speaking to my doctor about it describing what happened etc (every simple thing is stressful to me). All I do is read up on biceps tendon tears and I am just convining myself I have it. It is highly likely I do and it not going to go away, but I just sort of hope it will. I feel so powerless at the moment. I feel like I can't do anything with my life until this is sorted out. It is just so depressing. Even contemplated suicide. My only hope in life was the gym. I am terrified that I will need an operation, be opened up, have something artificial implemented in to me, have scarring, and there is the chance they **** up and do it wrong (they're human after all). I've never had a girlfriend, how am I going to get one with scars? I can't just not do anything about it. I am convinced it is a partial tear and so any gym work or heavy lifting could turn it in to a full tear. I have said I am going the doctors in the morning for definite now to get it sorted but being saying that for 2 months. I am paralysed by this thing at the moment. It will be such a huge relief when I know for sure if it is a tear and do what has to be done.


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## tara79 (Oct 28, 2010)

That I am misunderstood by people a lot which keeps me from forming and keeping relationships. I don't know how I can change that.


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## Ciaran (Aug 30, 2010)

Depressed because I started on Meds(Zoloft 100mg)nearly a month ago and felt emotionally numb(which was a step up from sobbing and feeling hopelessly sad)for the last 3 weeks up until yesterday morning when I woke up feeling really depressed,the way I felt before I started on meds.

I was hoping that the meds had somehow cured me of my depression,but now its back just as bad as ever,I'm meeting with my shrink on Monday so hopefully she might suggest some other medication to make my self loathing and depression somewhat bearable.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

Living at home basically. I am just so controlled and under dictation here, there's no room to escape their judgements or their will which they impose on me daily. It's a case of 'do whatever the **** we say, or get out..'

What a fantastic way to live. ****ing great. Am I going to be like this until I'm 30??


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

Addy crash


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## Squid24 (Nov 23, 2009)

My life is practically over. It's now clear that I won't be able to move an inch further forward without serious changes in my life and how my stupid brain works and my condition has only worsened in the last year. I've already squandered so much of my life for no reason, I feel completely trapped and hopeless, for the first time I think I may be suffering from depression.


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## thewall (Feb 1, 2009)

My face. That's the case 99.999999999% of the time.


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## mardy423 (Aug 27, 2008)

About not knowing what I want out of life.


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## catalinahx (Jun 8, 2010)

I was talking to my friend about my wedding ring. (I'm getting divorced...) I put it on, and for the first time since I got pregnant both times, it fits perfect. I'm pretty depressed about getting divorced and this kinda didn't help.


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## theJdogg (Sep 18, 2009)

My SA may keep from doing well in a class, which may have a bearing on whether or not I get into grad school. Then I think about how my SA would kick my *** if were to get in and I get more depressed. Feeling really hopeless about it. 29 and single for almost 10 years. I graduated from university and am still doing the same job I did when going to school. Then, I got a bad case of ringworm. Hopefully, things get better soon.


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## PeakOfTheMountain (Oct 3, 2010)

about the fact that i don't have any friends at all


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## solasum (Nov 17, 2008)

Right now, it's the fact that I'm going to start auditing a Russian class, and it starts in 2.5 hours. I'm scared because it's halfway through the semester, the teacher didn't seemed thrilled when I emailed her, I'm afraid I won't find the class in time, and it won't be with a bunch of foreigners like me!


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## waytoblue (Jun 3, 2010)

How long have you got?


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

About my life. It sucks.


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## Gorillaz (Jul 13, 2010)

this feeling of emptiness...and being lonely


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## EmptyRoom (Jul 28, 2010)

The repetitions of my daily boring routines is making me go crazy
Wake up, school, home, sleep
I feel like I'm not living at all, it makes me want to go and do impulsive and spontaneous things, but I don't even have the courage to leave my house and do that.
I want to take social anxiety out of me and beat the **** out of it.


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

Being human.


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## cresentmoon (Oct 28, 2010)

Loneliness, how I don't any willpower, and how boring my life is.


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## kid a (Aug 26, 2010)

life itself 
im just pissed that theres no way out and i keep losing and losing and losing and losing and failing i just FAIL 
i give up in every way i can right now. i keep picking myself up and trying again
i feel like that dead frog on the episode of family guy where peter is trying to get him out the window but it just DOES NOT WORK
he keeps trying and trying and trying and eventually it falls out the window
but when the helll will I !!!! 
never not until i like, die or something
im just gonna keep falling 

ive been taking some serotonin increasing pills , more than i should have and they dont even work. this whole chemical imbalance bull**** is so irritating, its not true ! 
im depressed because im depressed you fcking prick scientist !!!!
not because i dont have enough got dam serotonin !!!!


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## GoFlyers (Nov 4, 2010)

Currently in college feeling like I want to drop out. Don't think I'll ever be using my degree. I lose all motivation when a topic starts to get tough. Grades are dropping, don't really care too much about tests. Too afraid to ask questions in class or go to a professors office (well inside... ive only made it to the doors :/)


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## Bbpuff (Sep 1, 2010)

Right now? At this very moment.. I'm depressed about having a fear that I may have developed Bullimia.. Because I can't stop doing it... :l


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## FingerTheLastWords (Nov 6, 2010)

yup. It's useless posting stuff here.


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## Gorillaz (Jul 13, 2010)

lack of life


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

So tired of the man I am in my mind not being the one most people see, and being the one i'm capable of portraying. Even so I dare not show it. This playhouse life isn't a life at all.


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## rockyraccoon (Dec 13, 2010)

Depressed that I have always been lonely and I have never had a girlfriend. Worried that people will mock me for not having a girlfriend.


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## Cerberios (Nov 8, 2010)

My future, academic wise, economic wise, no attainable social life.
... The fact that I am a measly fifteen year old and want to crawl into a hole :S


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## BestLifeEver (Dec 13, 2010)

Knowing I'll never have a healthy relationship pretty much bums me out all the time. I totally love this site.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

Living in my cacoon.


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

Every single thing that I want requires me to have another thing, first. Where do I start, if I'm always needing something else. It's like trying to pee in the corner of a circular room.


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