# People in my class seem to dislike me for no apparent reason



## maddieKate (Mar 2, 2014)

I'm in my last year of school (senior year, thank God) and my class has about 12 people, including me. Even though it's small, many seem to dislike me, even though I've done nothing to them, and it bothers me a _lot_...

I'm shy and quiet and I was new to this school about 2 years ago, nearly three. It was hard at first but people seemed to have no problem with me, even if they didn't talk to me. I felt somewhat integrated into the school. I managed to create a strong friendship with a few people but practically all of them left, one failed the year and the other remained. This guy that stayed eventually became my boyfriend and that's when I noticed things changed.

I noticed the girls in my class stopped talking to me and started acting weird, including ones that weren't even in my class. Note that my boyfriend is very popular, much more sociable, confident, attractive and likable (don't ask me how he fell for somebody as quiet and unpopular as me). I guess girls became terribly jealous (no other explanation for this random hate), to the point where they would give me dirty looks. One girl in specific spread rumours about me because at the time, she liked him and she even posted a Facebook status indirectly for me, about how I'm a "man stealer". They never even dated lol. Another girl also spoke about me to others, all because she hates seeing me talk to this other boy in my class, even though they're not dating. (This is exactly why I get on better with guys).

At first, I talked with all the girls, but then they started creating stronger bonds between them to the point where I decided not to intervene anymore. They were nothing like me, anyway.

One guy in my class, whom I never even spoke to ever since I arrived, made a mean commentary about me in Physical Education behind my back (something about me not doing "anything", partly true I guess because I hate PE a lot and I'm terrible). A friend of mine found out and told me, and it upset me because he doesn't even know me and it's not like I do it to him. This same friend told me that one of the girls in my class came to her and said "I'm (me) stupid" and "I don't like her (me)". Guess what? Same girl that spread rumours.

I even had my Math teacher approach me because apparently, people in my class have been feeling demotivated by the fact that i have a calculator that allows you to upload pictures onto it. I'm guessing they told her that, and so she decided to tell me. (By the way, I'm permitted to use my calculator this way). I mean, seriously... people hating on me because of the calculator I own?

I don't know if the fact that I'm quiet influences their opinion about me. Maybe they see me as stuck up, just because I don't talk. Or they think I'm mean. Maybe they see me as an easy target, since I am quite sensitive. I tried my best to fit in, but I didn't think It'd get this bad, to the point where I feel genuinely secluded. In my old school, I was quiet too and only had one friend, but people barely noticed me, meaning I blended in the background just fine. So nobody spoke about me.

I hate my class because it's filled with fake people who talk about you behind your back. This year, I actually tried harder with the whole socializing thing and I ended up getting a little "closer" with a kinda quiet guy in my class. Eventually, I found out he was just telling everything I told him to his female friend, and I got pretty mad about it. He was basically trying to get info out of me (at least that's what I still assume to this day) . Funnily enough, he would speak very bad things about this female friend to ME, saying "she's fake" and "so possessive", yet in school, he pretends to be friends with her. See what I mean? See how fake they all are? Disgusting!

They judge you and make you feel so bad about yourself, to the point where I've gone home crying a few times. I'm telling myself I've only got a few more months left till I leave for good, but it's not really working in making me feel better. I'm honestly not a bad person, I've been nothing but nice to these people and I get this in return.

The interesting thing here is that my boyfriend agrees with me. Considering he's not quiet and is naturally approachable and has a good reputation, nobody has any reason to dislike him. He also thinks our class is truly terrible and he's even told me "I don't like any of them". We stick together a lot. He found out that people in our class talk about him, too, even being such an amazing, cool guy. But despite his true feelings, people still approach him and talk to him because that's just how he is. He's cool. Everybody likes him and respects him.

My boyfriend is my only true friend here, the only one I can actually trust and it just sucks to be in a place where people seem to hate you for no apparent reason. I sometimes feel a little embarrassed because my boyfriend is this super cool guy and I'm just, well, a loser. I've done nothing wrong and I hate this school and everybody in it. Help. :mum


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## Xenacat (Oct 20, 2015)

The good news is you're a senior and will be out of there soon. Really you have to not care about people talking about you. I have been there numerous times. It sounds like such a small group and they stick together. I know it is hard but try and look at the good in the people around you. They can sense when you are thinking poorly of them. You can't control other people's behavior but you can control yours.


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## Setolac (Jul 26, 2009)

I was interested in your story and wanted to give you advice or my own thoughts about it. Sorry but I stopped reading any further when I read "boyfriend" in the second paragraph.


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## chessman6500 (Sep 5, 2013)

I run into this same issue at my current job, even though I'm the guy in this situation and I don't have a girlfriend but I'm looking for one. You my friend are very fortunate to have a boyfriend who cares about you as much as you care about him, not only is it rare for an SA person to have that but its also rare these days for a good romantic relationship, which is what I'm hoping for. You my friend should be very lucky. As for the other people there, ignore them. Pay no mind to them and just focus on yourself. Its not worth being friends with these people, they would just talk behind your back anyway if they ever did decide they wanted to be your friend. I am in the same boat at the present moment and have one true friend who I see once a week and an online friend who happens to be a girl who is extremely trustworthy and respectful, and if thats all I end up having thats it.

When you get to college, hopefully people there will be nicer. Shame on them for treating you that way, they should be happy for you. I know I would be, you made a major accomplishment a lot of us on here can't do.

Tbh if I end up single all my life, I'll just suck it up. Nothing I'll be able to do.


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## maddieKate (Mar 2, 2014)

chessman6500 said:


> I run into this same issue at my current job, even though I'm the guy in this situation and I don't have a girlfriend but I'm looking for one. You my friend are very fortunate to have a boyfriend who cares about you as much as you care about him, not only is it rare for an SA person to have that but its also rare these days for a good romantic relationship, which is what I'm hoping for. You my friend should be very lucky. As for the other people there, ignore them. Pay no mind to them and just focus on yourself. Its not worth being friends with these people, they would just talk behind your back anyway if they ever did decide they wanted to be your friend. I am in the same boat at the present moment and have one true friend who I see once a week and an online friend who happens to be a girl who is extremely trustworthy and respectful, and if thats all I end up having thats it.
> 
> When you get to college, hopefully people there will be nicer. Shame on them for treating you that way, they should be happy for you. I know I would be, you made a major accomplishment a lot of us on here can't do.
> 
> Tbh if I end up single all my life, I'll just suck it up. Nothing I'll be able to do.


Thank you so much @chessman6500 for your reply. I definitely agree that I am lucky, I honestly have no damn clue what he saw in such an awkward girl like me. I'm not sure if what I have is SA, because sometimes, I actually like striking up a conversation with strangers and stuff. I guess I'm just shyer than what is norm and I need awhile before I get reasonably comfortable around someone new.

Although I'm trying my best to ignore everyone else, it becomes really tough when you're surrounded by these people literally everyday. This might sound super ridiculous, but sometimes I really do wish these people, no matter how bad they are, would just approach me and at least make me feel like they wanted to talk to me, a little like what's going on with my boyfriend. Like I've stated, he agrees that our classmates aren't very nice people, but everybody around him seem to worship him and I find myself feeling a little jealous of that. But then, I remind myself that these people who speak bad about me barely even know me and I shouldn't even be getting to bothered about it.

I'm feeling hopeful about the future, especially college. Once again, thanks for your reply, it actually helped me feel a little better, you have no idea.


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## Beth989 (Mar 1, 2016)

I also have an SO which is great I care about him a lot but no one else speaks to me. Only a few guys and probably cuz they see no one talks to me and pity me. Like I don't understand... I'm a girl but girls don't like me, why? And I don't want to talk too much to the guys because I have a guy I don't want them to think I'm interested. I just don't know what to do about it. These girls just talk about their new clothes they bought and nail polish and bla bla bla it just is all bla bla to me what they talk about. I'm poor so I rarely ever buy new clothes and nails I just don't think are that big of a deal. How do I get along with fellow girls?


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## BAH (Feb 12, 2012)

A couple more months and you're out of there.


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## missamr (Apr 14, 2017)

Sorry to hear that. Just know you will soon not have to see most of them again lol..


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## DeetsandBeets (Jun 16, 2017)

Setolac said:


> I was interested in your story and wanted to give you advice or my own thoughts about it. Sorry but I stopped reading any further when I read "boyfriend" in the second paragraph.


Yeah I guess I felt the same way too, but you really shouldn't shame this person for mentioning the one person she really feels a genuine appreciation for. I mean, yeah it kind of sounds she's helplessly fixated on him, but at least he's there for her.


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## DeetsandBeets (Jun 16, 2017)

294738 said:


> I run into this same issue at my current job, even though I'm the guy in this situation and I don't have a girlfriend but I'm looking for one. You my friend are very fortunate to have a boyfriend who cares about you as much as you care about him, not only is it rare for an SA person to have that but its also rare these days for a good romantic relationship, which is what I'm hoping for. You my friend should be very lucky. As for the other people there, ignore them. Pay no mind to them and just focus on yourself. Its not worth being friends with these people, they would just talk behind your back anyway if they ever did decide they wanted to be your friend. I am in the same boat at the present moment and have one true friend who I see once a week and an online friend who happens to be a girl who is extremely trustworthy and respectful, and if thats all I end up having thats it.
> 
> When you get to college, hopefully people there will be nicer. Shame on them for treating you that way, they should be happy for you. I know I would be, you made a major accomplishment a lot of us on here can't do.
> 
> Tbh if I end up single all my life, I'll just suck it up. Nothing I'll be able to do.


I really find this reply genuine not helpful and genuine. It helped me too. You kind of made me realize it's not my fault for feeling horrible about the way people treat me, and that there really isn't anything wrong with me. I'm glad I found this.


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## JapanGirl (Aug 23, 2017)

Smh. Hun, pay no attention to them, especially when they don't know you. There some kids who don't like me for no reason either and I'm pretty shy as well. They are just ignorant and have no real meaning of disliking someone. Ignore or avoid them and find nicer people who will like you. This girl bullied me for no reason in summer camp. I was a taller girl than she was. She was probably insecure and ignorant. She still doesn't like to this day!


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