# Unemployed and scared to work



## Nightwing85 (Dec 6, 2013)

Almost two months ago I became unemployed when I quit a job I'd had for four years for another job that I quit after one day because of my SA. The messed up part is that on the last day of my former job my manager told me that he would keep me in the system for two weeks in case I didn't like the new job and wanted to come back. After I quit the new job I went to take him up on that offer but he said that my district manager had replaced me (this was less than a week after I had left) and there was nothing he could do. I was furious because one of the reasons I had quit the new job was because my manager had said that I could come back. Now almost two months later I'm unemployed and out of money. I live with my dad so I don't have to worry about having a roof over my head but he pretty much supports me and I feel like a burden to him. My dad is awesome so when I bring it up to him he of course says that there is no way he would think that but I think that. The thought of working again terrifies me and whenever I look at job listings it scares me. I wake up every day sick to my stomach with anxiety and scared for my future. I worry about what would happen to me if something happened to my dad. I feel like such a loser and am miserable. I barely eat, I barely sleep, I barely function, my neck is killing me with stress. I feel quitting my old job was a mistake and I feel that quitting the new job was a mistake. But in terms of the new job it was a call center job with good money and benefits but I simply couldn't do it. I spent the whole of the only day I worked fighting wave after wave of panic attacks. My old job sucked and I was anxious every day there but at leas I had gotten used to it. The thought of working fills me with intense anxiety but the thought of not working makes me severely anxious. It is a vicious cycle that I don't see an escape from. I needed to vent but any advice or help or whatever would be appreciated.


----------



## empireness (Mar 1, 2013)

I feel you. Just try to stay strong, fill your mind with positive thoughts everyday every night. Just keep doing that until you find a job. I did that.... But when i started work, everything i read and thought about went to waste. I didn't have the ideal person i wanted to be in mind. Im feeling disappointed with myself and im constantly hating myself for that. I landed a job as an operator. So that means im constantly dealing with a lot of people. I thought i could handle because of all the positive thoughts i put myself thru. Telling myself i could do it everyday. But i am trying hard not to regret my decision now. 
At work, i feel so awkward. I am nothing like the outspoken person i prepped myself to me. It makes me very depressed just thinking about it. I don't want to be this f-ing quiet person at work WHICH I AM NOW. Because im constantly worried people are judging how stupid i am when i ask this and that. My mind is always full of thoughts that make me so anxious UGH.

BUT i know that at the end of the day. I will become a stronger person having gone through stuff that puts me out of my comfort zone. I just need to overcome this. STAY POSITIVE. I really need to too. It's killing me. You may read more about my time at work in the new thread called First week into my new job.. 

Hope you feel better though. Stay strong dude!


----------



## blueidealist26 (Dec 16, 2012)

Is there any chance your old job might have similar positions to your old one available later, even if not immediately?


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

_"My old job sucked and I was anxious every day there but at least I had gotten used to it."_

I'm coming to experience this a lot in my own life and meeting people from different walks of life. People stay miserable in situations just because they are comfortable with it. This not only applies to career, but relationships, husbands, wives, boyfriends, friends, lifestyles. I'm saying this from my own current struggles as well, *change is scary*. Not having control or a sense of your future is terrifying and prohibits us from realizing our full potential or getting out of potentially disastrous circumstances that _might have an affect on our long term health._ Becoming apathetic and experiencing zombie like symptoms, having a fragment of your happiness removed as each day goes along is not a smart nor productive decision.

I met a middle aged woman who openly admitted to not loving her husband of 20 years (and father of her 2 children) anymore, but she stays because she knows no other way.

My reasoning is, wouldn't I be more disappointed in myself if I STAYED, than actually TRIED to get out? Of a job, of a relationship, etc. What makes you more weak and victim to your own decisions than staying miserable?

It's going to be hard, it's going to take work, but nothing is worse than just enduring. Life is way too short to not look for opportunities that would improve your quality of life. I'm in this very situation and still learning as I go. Regarding your next job move, my advice is to interview them just as much as they are interviewing you. Make sure the fit is right for yourself and that you can see yourself staying for the long term.

I love this saying and I think it relieves a bit of the pressure we have for masking our emotions just to try to endure:



> _Succumbing to depression doesn't mean you are weak, but that you have been trying to be strong for too long_, which is maybe a form of denial. So much of life happens somewhere in between being okay and complete breakdown-that's where many of us live, and doing so requires strength." ~ novelist Matthew Quick


----------



## Nightwing85 (Dec 6, 2013)

empireness said:


> I feel you. Just try to stay strong, fill your mind with positive thoughts everyday every night. Just keep doing that until you find a job. I did that.... But when i started work, everything i read and thought about went to waste. I didn't have the ideal person i wanted to be in mind. Im feeling disappointed with myself and im constantly hating myself for that. I landed a job as an operator. So that means im constantly dealing with a lot of people. I thought i could handle because of all the positive thoughts i put myself thru. Telling myself i could do it everyday. But i am trying hard not to regret my decision now.
> At work, i feel so awkward. I am nothing like the outspoken person i prepped myself to me. It makes me very depressed just thinking about it. I don't want to be this f-ing quiet person at work WHICH I AM NOW. Because im constantly worried people are judging how stupid i am when i ask this and that. My mind is always full of thoughts that make me so anxious UGH.
> 
> BUT i know that at the end of the day. I will become a stronger person having gone through stuff that puts me out of my comfort zone. I just need to overcome this. STAY POSITIVE. I really need to too. It's killing me. You may read more about my time at work in the new thread called First week into my new job..
> ...


Thanks and I hope you feel better as well. Its tough to stay positive when one is as deep a pessimist as I am but I really do try. By evening I usually feel somewhat better but the following day (morning are terrible for me and really always have been) everything floods back and everything starts again.


----------



## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

*being mocked and bullied by a group ain't nice*

I think I'd truly enjoy being battered / clubbed much more

because I'd be the one to end the show

hearing the gigglers is the really tough bit. I have to remain calm
or come up with (vomit) something to say. The main weapon: my pair of eyes

They seem to revert straight back to the school playground and stay put

I evolved


----------



## H8PPLNDGS (Mar 15, 2013)

People do get stuck because they do get used to a situation and if they are not good-looking, young, super smart and all then they tend to stay unless they are forced out. 

It's understandable to feel that way since people tend to ruin things for you and don't care. It'll be great if survival instincts override the anxiety and emotion with some work survival tools, so that you can succeed without caring about what those other people (especially those who have never struggled in their life) are doing to you. Even to the point you can make them suffer especially those who proclaim to be superior over you. 

People who don't care and **** up everyone else seems to succeed the most - at least the former.


----------



## Captain Casual (Jun 28, 2013)

At the moment, I'm feeling a strange mixture of wanting to work and being scared to. When I apply for jobs, I half hope I'll get a response, and half hope I won't. When I turn my phone on every morning ready to take any calls from potential employers, I always feel a bit of dread.


----------



## empireness (Mar 1, 2013)

Nightwing85 said:


> Thanks and I hope you feel better as well. Its tough to stay positive when one is as deep a pessimist as I am but I really do try. By evening I usually feel somewhat better but the following day (morning are terrible for me and really always have been) everything floods back and everything starts again.


Yeah I understand. Because at the end of a work day you an actually go home and put the day behind you, escape the reality. But in the morning, you have to face it all over again. It sucks. 
I think I may be delusional. I have a world of reality which I think is not real and I have another world that I escape and feel at ease at. I hope this is as bad as it goes or I might die.
I do hope things get better. Thank god Skype exists.


----------



## empireness (Mar 1, 2013)

Nightwing85 said:


> Thanks and I hope you feel better as well. Its tough to stay positive when one is as deep a pessimist as I am but I really do try. By evening I usually feel somewhat better but the following day (morning are terrible for me and really always have been) everything floods back and everything starts again.


Yeah I understand. Because at the end of a work day you an actually go home and put the day behind you, escape the reality. But in the morning, you have to face it all over again. It sucks. 
I think I may be delusional. I have a world of reality which I think is not real and I have another world that I escape and feel at ease at. I hope this is as bad as it goes or I might die.
I do hope things get better. Thank god Skype exists.


----------



## That Adelaide Kid (Dec 15, 2013)

Captain Casual said:


> At the moment, I'm feeling a strange mixture of wanting to work and being scared to. When I apply for jobs, I half hope I'll get a response, and half hope I won't. When I turn my phone on every morning ready to take any calls from potential employers, I always feel a bit of dread.


I am in the exact same situation. I'm so sick of feeling useless and below everyone for not working but the thought of actually having a job is quite a strange and daunting thought..


----------

