# Would you date someone who still lived with parents?



## EitherThatOrTrees (May 29, 2017)

Imagine a person who is like 28 or nearing their 30s or even IN their 30s. The said person appears to be doing everything they can to improve their life circumstances, they work full-time, get plenty of exercise, and they pay all their own bills... However, they still live with their parents.

Would you date someone who still lived with their parents? If they were to put that fact on a dating website profile how much of a turn-off would that be?


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

I don't want to know the answer to that question, personally. Ignorance truly is bliss, in this situation.

My musical tastes would most surely scare 99% of women away anyways.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

I would...not that big of a deal. Put it on profile? meh idk about that lol.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

My cousin did it into his early 30s, and he is a normal-functioning person.

It's probably not something you want to advertise on a dating site profile, though.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

Sure. Not everyone could afford living on their own and it's understandable that someone has the advantage to live with their parents as long as they're trying to get their life together such as having a job or going to school. As long as they are trying, that's what matters to me.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Well, aside from the fact that I have no reason for wanting to date anyone at this point in time, I'm not sure why I wouldn't.

Though I suppose you could make a good argument for saying that it's a bad idea to get into a relationship with someone who may become dependent on you if the relationship lasts. Can you imagine having to kick someone out of your life knowing they have nowhere to go?


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

Already have, 75% of my dates in fact, without any of the work/exercise/bills conditions being fulfilled. But if she wants to move in with me soon, that'll be a problem.


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## waterfairy (Oct 20, 2016)

As long as the guy is working on moving out soon, then why not? Like others have said though, don't put that on your profile lol


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

If he was compatible with me, I would.

But I'm just a fat old hag who lives with her own parents, and no guys are compatible with me, so what I think doesn't matter.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I'd really rather avoid dating a guy that had a super close relationship with his family. Cause that will mean I will have to hang out with them regularly. Would be a major turn off if his mom was still doing his laundry, making dinner for him, or cleaning his room. Like being a perpetual adolescent. 

I mean maybe it would be okay if we always hung out at my place. I certainly wouldn't want to spend the night at his family's house. That would be super awkward and surreal if the guy is in his 30s or 40s.


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## Entrensik (Apr 25, 2014)

Just tell the girls that your parents are your old roommates lol


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## Entrensik (Apr 25, 2014)

tehuti88 said:


> If he was compatible with me, I would.
> 
> But I'm just a fat old hag who lives with her own parents, and no guys are compatible with me, so what I think doesn't matter.


Jesus Christ almighty. That's so cruel. Tehuti you sound very sweet, don't treat &#127848; yourself like that&#128546;


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## StoneSean (Jun 17, 2017)

If it was a female, then yes.

if it was a male, then no.


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## Witchblade (Jun 17, 2017)

Maybe/maybe not, but if this is you then keep improving your life circumstances like you said you were. Eventually moving out will be a necessary part of improving your life.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

This stuff works great in fantasy-land.


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## Mtl23 (Jun 21, 2017)

Yes being a 30year old living with his mother himself i am the least judgemental person on that topic. But maybe thats cause im unemployed with my mental problems. If i had a steady job that i could hold on to then sure i would probably move out. Job or living status shouldnt matter in terms of love


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## gthopia94 (Dec 18, 2015)

It's understandable given the inflation over the last few years & especially since a good chunk of millennials still live with their parents (forgot the %).

With that being said I likely would with the promise that we'd find our own place by the time we get married.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Depends on the reasoning behind it. If they're living there to take care of their elderly parents, then that's fine. Or if they are just planning to stay temporarily, yes again.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

I'm probably weird for this, but that kind of stuff doesn't even bother me. She could be on welfare and I wouldn't really care.

I'm not really looking for ambitious women with a great career and a huge house. Wealth is not important in my life. Id prefer someone like me who can work and enjoys the simple life. Where they live doesn't matter until things get more serious.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

acidicwithpanic said:


> Depends on the reasoning behind it. If they're living there to take care of their elderly parents, then that's fine. Or if they are just planning to stay temporarily, yes again.


What if they have to take care of the elderly parents for the next 10 years? People seem to be taking forever to die these days.


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## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

That's quite common over here to be honest.Even for the men.

But for me, yes. But, I still expect for the guy to be working some kind of job with hopes of saving up to move elsewhere in some time. 

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk


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## Witchblade (Jun 17, 2017)

komorikun said:


> What if they have to take care of the elderly parents for the next 10 years? People seem to be taking forever to die these days.


I could see something like that ruining a relationship, any sort of heavy pressure that limits your freedom like that, or financial issues, or unhealthy children, with no end in sight, is going to cause a lot of fighting and stress. The "unburdened" partner is pretty likely to start looking elsewhere.


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

I am that person and yes I would.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Date them? Yes, but it isn't sustainable unless they move in with you or at least get their own place.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


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## NoEgo (Jul 5, 2016)

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I don't want to know the answer to that question, personally. Ignorance truly is bliss, in this situation.
> 
> My musical tastes would most surely scare 99% of women away anyways.


Pentagram rules. Relentless is one of the greatest Doom albums ever.


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## NoEgo (Jul 5, 2016)

Personally, I don't really care. Especially if she's around my age, living with your parents isn't that big of a deal.


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## Lohikaarme (Aug 28, 2013)

It wouldn't be such a big issue for me unless his/her parents were really pushy/invaded our privacy. Cannot stand family members who think they are entitled to everything in their adult child's life :serious:


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## Sabk (Jun 15, 2017)

I'd be suspicious at first, not gonna lie. Maybe a little put off. But I'm curious af, so...

One thing's for sure, nothing is ever black and white. He pays his bills, has a job, and is by all appearances, self-sufficient. There obviously is a reason he still lives with his parents.

With the state of things these days, people in their 30s can't always afford to get a place of their own; plenty have roommates, when they wish they could be alone.
So long as he isn't dependent on his parents, I don't see it as an issue. This 'he', as you said, is working to improve his life. I'm good with that.

Not only that, but having the humility to share he's living with his parents wins him extra points.


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## Sabk (Jun 15, 2017)

Mtl23 said:


> Job or living status shouldnt matter in terms of love


I dunno. Love will only get you so far. Some level of practicality and responsibility is necessary for the success of a relationship. Any type of relationship, really; whether it be romantic or parent-child.

That's just my take.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

NoEgo said:


> Pentagram rules. Relentless is one of the greatest Doom albums ever.


/m\

Agreed. I am also a huge Saint Vitus lover. :wink


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## Ms kim (May 15, 2017)

In Jamaica, lots of people continue to live with their parents way into their adult life because they simply can't afford their own place. But also it is a cultural thing where you are expected to care for your parents when they are old. My granny is 94 and my mother is 75 and I live with them. 

Living with your parents, as long as you are independent, making your own money and contributing to the household, there is nothing wrong with that. So I would date someone who lived with his parents. I would just think he loves his mom and dad a lot and he is a sweet caring guy. When I get to know his parents I would love them too if they are nice people.

We would live in a big house. His parents will live there as well as my mom and granny and a housekeeper. That suits me just fine  But that's just me.

I don't think you should advertise it but the girl will still eventually find out anyway and may feel like you gave a wrong impression of yourself. So tell her as soon as possible.


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## SFC01 (Feb 10, 2016)

I live with my parents at the mo as I got booted out of my house by the ex - I moved out to my own place early 20's and stayed out until recently.

Its embarrassing as **** to be honest - I always have to mention the fact that its only due to separation !! I`m single at the moment and I dread having to ask a girl back to mum and dads haha but there is no way I'm paying 600/700 squid a month on a crappy studio apartment.


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## Ms kim (May 15, 2017)

SFC01 said:


> I live with my parents at the mo as I got booted out of my house by the ex - I moved out to my own place early 20's and stayed out until recently.
> 
> Its embarrassing to be honest - I always have to mention the fact that its only due to separation !! I`m single at the moment and I dread having to ask a girl back to mum and dads haha but there is no way I'm paying 600/700 squid a month on a crappy studio apartment.


All the money you would normally pay out in rent just save it all at the bank while you live with your parents and when you've saved enough you can make a down payment on your own place. Don't think of it as embarrassing.


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## Eternal Solitude (Jun 11, 2017)

Only if they treat me like they are my parents. >


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## hydinthebasmnt (Aug 26, 2012)

Where I come from, it is completely normal for adults to continue living with their parents. So, yes, if I was interested in dating, I wouldn't shun someone because of it.


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## caelle (Sep 9, 2008)

Sure I would. Probably because I'm in that situation and know others in that situation. But it also depends on the circumstances. There are several legitamate and understandable reasons to still live with your parent(s).

It might be a turn off for some though, especially on a dating site. But some would like the honesty.


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## Twilightforce (Aug 7, 2016)

I don't care.


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## Ai (Oct 13, 2012)

Wouldn't bother me at all. _A lot_ of adults are forced to live with their parents these days. It's hardly some squeamish anomaly. Making it on a single income alone is a pipe dream for most people in the US these days.

And I'm certainly in no position to judge.



komorikun said:


> Would be a major turn off if his mom was still doing his laundry, making dinner for him, or cleaning his room. Like being a perpetual adolescent.


_Would_ have to agree with this, though... I'm not looking to be anyone's mother or maid.


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## Witchblade (Jun 17, 2017)

Ai said:


> _Would_ have to agree with this, though... I'm not looking to be anyone's mother or maid.


Yeah, when I hear that a guy's living at home that's usually what I assume is going on, I know even 50 year olds who move back in and suddenly they're children again. If you're an adult living at home you really should be doing most of the housework to thank your parents for letting you stick around.


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## LilMeRich (Jun 2, 2017)

Well having lived at home until I was 26 (& was exactly the same as the OP described) while saving for a house deposit, then yes I probably would. Provided they were actually trying to make an effort to move out or were independent. 

Course now owning a house they'd probably want to live with me    *pipe dream*

I can't stand people who live with parents who make NO effort to at least be a little independent & want everything spoon-fed or done for them.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

LilMeRich said:


> I can't stand people who live with parents who make NO effort to at least be a little independent & want everything spoon-fed or done for them.


Blame their parents for spoiling them rotten. :wink


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

It completely depends on the circumstances. There are so many variables out there to give a definitive 'yes' or 'no' to apply to all cases. Although, I guess if I were told that without any further explanation, I'd probably say 'no'. Certain circumstances could easily flip that though. 

If seeing her every weekend would require having to hang out with her family every single weekend, whether she lived with her parents or not, I probably wouldn't enjoy it too much.


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## Ai (Oct 13, 2012)

Witchblade said:


> Yeah, when I hear that a guy's living at home that's usually what I assume is going on, I know even 50 year olds who move back in and suddenly they're children again. If you're an adult living at home you really should be doing most of the housework to thank your parents for letting you stick around.


Well, I mean, that's not _necessarily_ true in every case, though. My brother was forced to move back home in 2008 at 28 when he suddenly lost his roommates and was dropped to part time at work. He'd been living independently for 10 years at that point. He was only able to get his bearings and move out on his own again a few years ago. During that time, however, he took care of his own bills, food, and chores that pertained to his usage of resources in the house. He even helped my mother out financially when he was able.

So, personally, I don't find living with one's parents a red flag in and of itself. But if you're not taking care of your own most basic needs, like feeding yourself, cleaning up your own messes, and doing your own laundry... that is not a great sign. lol


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## BrokeTech (Jun 1, 2017)

Whatever you do, don't get the impression from this thread that most people don't care...because, especially in the US, most people _do_--especially women. It's just that, with this type of site, you have a lot of people who have issues that hinder their ability to function the way the average person does--whether it's SA or whatever or a combo--and that's almost always going to lead to needing more support from others...whether it's parents or somebody else. So, a lot of us are more understanding of needing parental help because we can relate to it. People who can't relate are not going to be cool with this.

I am pretty good at reading people, so if someone is at home with their parents for some unacceptable reason I'll figure it out and won't date them. People who can't do that or can't be bothered to take the time to do that have a rule across the board about not dating someone who lives with their parents, regardless. But it'll never rule someone out right off the bat for me. Like I said on another thread, I live with my parents and sometimes need their help financially (my *older, married* sisters have not lived with my parents for well over 15 years and still call asking for money--my parents just gave the _married 46-yr old_ $600 yesterday to avoid eviction--so I mean...just because you're out of the house, what makes this any better?). With my current job, I really don't need their financial help, but with their being elderly I'm going to stay and help them. If someone can't deal with that, it's cool because family is #1 anyways. I would not have an issue with someone being in similar situations.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Ai said:


> _Would_ have to agree with this, though... I'm not looking to be anyone's mother or maid.


My first boyfriend lived with his mother when we were dating. He was 24 when I first met him. He always came over to my apartment (for a year or so), except for the period where I moved in with them. The dad was working in another town so wasn't around too much. Japanese typically do live with their parents until they get married unless they go to college far away or find a job that is far. They get married late. Typically 29 for women, 31 for men. South Americans also live with their parents until they get married.

He did do his own laundry and cleaned his own room. The mom cooked for him. She even made lunch for him to bring it to work. He was kind of spoiled in some ways. Like he'd make snide comments about how he had never seen me cook. Not that he ever tried to cook in my apartment. He did cook at his mom's house though sometimes. He also didn't like the job that I was doing (bar hostess). He didn't seem to understand how I was just trying to get by and couldn't be picky about where I work. He did the typical route: go to high school >college > immediately full-time/full benefits job.

His mom's Japanese curry was the best though. OMG. So good.


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## Ai (Oct 13, 2012)

komorikun said:


> My first boyfriend lived with his mother when we were dating. He was 24 when I first met him. He always came over to my apartment (for a year or so), except for the period where I moved in with them. The dad was working in another town so wasn't around too much. Japanese typically do live with their parents until they get married unless they go to college far away or find a job that is far. They get married late. Typically 29 for women, 31 for men. South Americans also live with their parents until they get married.
> 
> He did do his own laundry and cleaned his own room. The mom cooked for him. She even made lunch for him to bring it to work. He was kind of spoiled in some ways. Like he'd make snide comments about how he had never seen me cook. Not that he ever tried to cook in my apartment. He did cook at his mom's house though sometimes. He also didn't like the job that I was doing (bar hostess). He didn't seem to understand how I was just trying to get by and couldn't be picky about where I work. He did the typical route: go to high school >college > immediately full-time/full benefits job.
> 
> His mom's Japanese curry was the best though. OMG. So good.


Ah, yeah. :/ Sounds like typical culture-clashing. It's one of the reasons I don't think I could date someone from a more conservative cultural background. Our expectations of one another just wouldn't mesh well...


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## leaf in the wind (Mar 28, 2017)

I do not think I could.

I stayed for two days with my boyfriend and his mother over the weekend, and even that was too much. I ended up booking an overpriced hotel last minute just to get away from the situation. She was super nice to me too...

He doesn't live with her, but we were just visiting for the weekend. I tried to imagine all the tip-toeing every time you wanted to have sex, or wanted to talk about something private and have to keep it at a whisper, and just having the presence of parents so close by.

I have my own apartment but I don't like having people over all the time, so ideally the guy would have his own place we could hang out there as well.


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## Hollo (Feb 16, 2017)

When I was younger, I dated someone who moved back in with her parents after finishing her undergrad. She was a really dutiful daughter and respected her parents' opinions, so I often felt like they were a little too involved in our relationship. Sometimes it felt like I was dating her _and_ her parents, which could be exasperating at times. Despite that, they were really generous, decent people and I liked them. So, I can imagine that if her parents hadn't been such nice people, I would've resented that setup. That's been my only experience related to that, though


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## DustyShinigami (Jun 18, 2017)

Yes, I would. Providing there are times where we'd get some alone time together. Things like that don't bother me and everyone's circumstances are different.

No doubt a lot of people would think having a 30 year old living with their parents still is pathetic, but the fact is the cost of living is too expensive. Plus, with how bad and lonely I can get, being on my own all the time wouldn't do me any good.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

DustyShinigami said:


> Yes, I would. Providing there are times where we'd get some alone time together. Things like that don't bother me and everyone's circumstances are different.
> 
> No doubt a lot of people would think having a 30 year old living with their parents still is pathetic, but *the fact is the cost of living is too expensive.* Plus, with how bad and lonely I can get, being on my own all the time wouldn't do me any good.


I concur.


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

EitherThatOrTrees said:


> Imagine a person who is like 28 or nearing their 30s or even IN their 30s. The said person appears to be doing everything they can to improve their life circumstances, they work full-time, get plenty of exercise, and they pay all their own bills... However, they still live with their parents.
> 
> Would you date someone who still lived with their parents? If they were to put that fact on a dating website profile how much of a turn-off would that be?


I know this may not seem relevant but...male or female?


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

komorikun said:


> Like he'd make snide comments about how he had never seen me cook.


Are you kidding me? ****ing loser...


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

path0gen said:


> Are you kidding me? ****ing loser...


:lol :haha


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

I'm a guy in my mid 20s so I wouldn't have a huge problem with it, assuming they were willing to change their situation. Also I feel there are levels to this, like have they always lived at home? Is it just a sudden change in circumstances?


Would be spending most of the time at my place.. which might grate early on... actually the more I type it out the less convinced I am. 

I just know at 27 I don't want deal with parents (mine or yours) that often.


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

Elad said:


> I'm a guy in my mid 20s so I wouldn't have a huge problem with it, assuming they were willing to change their situation. Also I feel there are levels to this, like have they always lived at home? Is it just a sudden change in circumstances?
> 
> Would be spending most of the time at my place.. which might grate early on... actually the more I type it out the less convinced I am.
> 
> I just know at 27 I don't want deal with parents (mine or yours) that often.


Eh...things happen. For a stint, I was back at 'home' for about a year in my early 30's. I think it's a situational question. Have they been living there their whole lives? Why? Is it temporal and what's the plan to move out? Too many variables for this sort of question.


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

I know a guy who did it until he decided to get married. He had enough money saved up from living with his parents that he and his wife were able to get a house right away when they married.

ETA: I'm 34 and currently live at home. I have been back for a year. I was out for six years but moved back when my late husband died. I have since remarried to my best friend of 23 years, but he's in prison (yeah no judging please) and here I can earn $3 more per hour than where he lives so it's worth it to me to continue to live here, because $3 more per hour really adds up.


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## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

I suppose I would date someone who lives with their parents. Of course I probably don't deserve to date anyone at the moment anyway - for one, at 29 + male I still live my parents. Anyway, I consider myself "barely self-sufficient" as in my mom will occasionally cook dinner for me and my dad will help me with car maintenance that I don't know how to handle but that's about it. Surprisingly, sex in the house doesn't seem to be an issue. (Not that I get a lot of sex, hardy har). I secretly suspect my dad restrains my mom so she doesn't bug me/barge into my room if I'm with someone.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I live with my mom, who am I to judge


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Witchblade said:


> Yeah, when I hear that a guy's living at home that's usually what I assume is going on, I know even 50 year olds who move back in and suddenly they're children again. If you're an adult living at home you really should be doing most of the housework to thank your parents for letting you stick around.


 How should they thank me for forgiving them for giving birth to me?


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## GibberingMaw (Jul 3, 2017)

Yes, especially with how horrible the economy is now a days.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

GibberingMaw said:


> Yes, *especially with how horrible the economy is now a days*.


Finally! Someone else who actually gets it. :wink


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## Crisigv (Aug 3, 2013)

Yeah, no problem there. I still live with my parents.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

I still live with my mother who is going to be retiring next year, so obviously yes, I would. Where someone lives (depending on how far away they are), and who they live with, are not a factor for me in any way. I am NOT picky.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Revenwyn said:


> but he's in prison (yeah no judging please)


What happened?


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## Owlbear (Dec 3, 2015)

Depends. I live at home with my parents but I pay my own bills. Not rent, but other expenses. Do my own laundry, clean, do yardwork, put out trash, cook, etc 
Could I move out right now and be okay? Probably not, my job is not that good so I'd be in a terrible apartment and my diet would suffer. I have lived away from home for short periods of time (weeks to a month) so I'm not entirely cloistered. As for dating someone, it probably wouldn't work. The family is very strict about strangers in the house as my younger siblings (it's not just me and my parents) are still kids and my mother has straight up told me no way am I bringing "skanks" into her home. Zero chance of sex happening here, but I've learned to make do at an ex's places, on a camping trip, back of the SUV - you always find a way lol

Now would I date a woman who lived at home? Perhaps. If she can function away from her family, if she has her own dreams, goals - you know, a life of her own. She isn't cared for by her family. I tried dating a woman like that once and her parents sent me a list of rules. Not kidding.


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## GibberingMaw (Jul 3, 2017)

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Finally! Someone else who actually gets it. :wink


I sure do!


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

Would be interesting if each replies also state the country they grew up in.


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## DistraughtOwl (Mar 1, 2014)

Well I've always assumed no which is why I have given up on dating until that changes.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

Sure I would, I actually am at the moment anyway. Then again, I'm also living with my parents too so I can't really judge. But dating someone who lives with their parents isn't really too bad honestly.


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

Kevin001 said:


> What happened?


He suffered a lot of abuse and trauma in his teens and acted out as a result of that. His parents had refused to believe him so he never got the help he needed before he got into trouble. Unfortunately, in his state, they have indeterminate sentencing, and he could very well be in for life. His minimum was 4 years and he's been in 15.

Yes, I married him in prison, knowing all this. 
Yes, I wish it were different.

But I'd rather have whatever marriage I can with him than none at all.

So that, coupled with my autism, is why I still live at home.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Revenwyn said:


> He suffered a lot of abuse and trauma in his teens and acted out as a result of that. His parents had refused to believe him so he never got the help he needed before he got into trouble. Unfortunately, in his state, they have indeterminate sentencing, and he could very well be in for life. His minimum was 4 years and he's been in 15.
> 
> Yes, I married him in prison, knowing all this.
> Yes, I wish it were different.
> ...


Oh wow, so he hurt someone?


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

I live with my parents, although I did move out for 1 year 6 months, I just got back from college and am currently broke and starting my own business so I can't really move out right now. 

My dad works from home so bringing a girl back to my place for an afternoon netflix and chill would be futile, plus my mom usually comes home around 5. The only time i'd ever be alone at my parents is if my dad was on a business trip. 

All I can imagine is telling my girl to stop repeating the letter O, as my parents are upstairs trying to sleep, lol. 

Although I do have a van that's pretty roomy  Just need to clean it out a bit.


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## Witchblade (Jun 17, 2017)

xxDark Horse said:


> My dad works from home so bringing a girl back to my place for an afternoon netflix and chill would be futile, plus my mom usually comes home around 5. The only time i'd ever be alone at my parents is if my dad was on a business trip.


Yeah I didn't think of that at first, but that's a big problem. I see guys on here talking about how they have so much trouble approaching women, asking them out, how to do well on a date, etc. But what's the point if you still live at home? I mean, even if you completely fight your anxiety and have a perfect date and she likes you, then what, you just say goodbye and go home alone because you don't have a place to take her to?


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## Alpha Tauri (Mar 19, 2017)

Here in the Philippines, and in neighboring Southeast Asian countries, it's perfectly acceptable to date people who still live with their families. It's hardly a factor when it comes to that. The extended family structure is the norm.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

GibberingMaw said:


> Yes, especially with how horrible the economy is now a days.


Yeah, the economy is rough. It's actually smart to live with your parents or roommates to save on cost. I remember when I moved to this city, even on a low pay job I could afford rent and all the bills. And nowadays with the same kind of job/salary I would have trouble living on my own. And there are more bill too with the internet, cell phone and Water tax that I'm forced to pay in this part of town.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

Witchblade said:


> Yeah I didn't think of that at first, but that's a big problem. I see guys on here talking about how they have so much trouble approaching women, asking them out, how to do well on a date, etc. But what's the point if you still live at home? I mean, even if you completely fight your anxiety and have a perfect date and she likes you, then what, you just say goodbye and go home alone because you don't have a place to take her to?


I need to learn to build a life and financially support myself first before I worry about getting a girlfriend. Right now, iv'e taken a step backwards because i'm out of college, broke, living with my parents, and just starting a business. I don't really have anything to offer to a woman yet.

I like to think that i'm on a different path than most kids my age. The majority of people, especially decently attractive women, will date around in their teens and twenties and if they've broken up with their boyfriend, someone else will swoop in soon afterwards. That's the reality for a lot of girls my age, iv'e seen it first hand.

For me, that's not the case. I need to work on myself, develop a social life, learn to talk to girls, and also be able to financially support myself. Not an easy task, but it'll be worth it in the end.


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## Witchblade (Jun 17, 2017)

xxDark Horse said:


> I need to learn to financially support myself first before I worry about getting a girlfriend.
> 
> Easier said then done though, lol.
> 
> ...


Yeah it's extremely important for men to learn to be self sufficient. That's not just a good quality in dating, it's important for life as a whole, but especially in dating that's something women are looking for, and it's really part of growing up and becoming a man.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Witchblade said:


> Yeah I didn't think of that at first, but that's a big problem. I see guys on here talking about how they have so much trouble approaching women, asking them out, how to do well on a date, etc. But what's the point if you still live at home? I mean, even if you completely fight your anxiety and have a perfect date and she likes you, then what, you just say goodbye and go home alone because you don't have a place to take her to?


He could go to the girl's apartment. If they both live with their parents then they are screwed unless the guy wants to pay for a hotel.


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## missamr (Apr 14, 2017)

Yes I would.


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## Witchblade (Jun 17, 2017)

komorikun said:


> He could go to the girl's apartment. If they both live with their parents then they are screwed unless the guy wants to pay for a hotel.


Yeah that's always possible, just seems a little cringey to be like, hey can we go to your place because my parents are home.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Witchblade said:


> Yeah that's always possible, just seems a little cringey to be like, hey can we go to your place because my parents are home.


I prefer the guy coming to my place. Means less travel for me. And I feel more comfortable in my own environment. I never really liked going to the guy's place.

I have been on dates with young guys (early 20s) where they would actually get text messages and calls from their mom asking when they would be coming home. Now *that *was cringeworthy.


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## Witchblade (Jun 17, 2017)

komorikun said:


> I prefer the guy coming to my place. Means less travel for me. And I feel more comfortable in my own environment. I never really liked going to the guy's place.
> 
> I have been on dates with young guys (early 20s) where they would actually get text messages and calls from their mom asking when they would be coming home. Now *that *was cringeworthy.


Well it's not so much about the place, I'm not saying the guys place is necessarily preferable, it's just the reasoning behind it. I guess the guy could lie and say his apartment is under construction or full of bed bugs or something


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

Witchblade said:


> Well it's not so much about the place, I'm not saying the guys place is necessarily preferable, it's just the reasoning behind it. I guess the guy could lie and say his apartment is under construction or full of bed bugs or something


Or I could just tell them my place isn't the best because my roommate is home most of the time and just sits on the couch and watches tv all day.

That's technically true, my dad does sit on the couch all day because he works from home. :laugh:


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## GibberingMaw (Jul 3, 2017)

Scrub-Zero said:


> Yeah, the economy is rough. It's actually smart to live with your parents or roommates to save on cost. I remember when I moved to this city, even on a low pay job I could afford rent and all the bills. And nowadays with the same kind of job/salary I would have trouble living on my own. And there are more bill too with the internet, cell phone and Water tax that I'm forced to pay in this part of town.


Yeah, my stepbrother just moved back in with us because he can't afford to live alone.


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## Deaf Mute (Jun 12, 2017)

Scrub-Zero said:


> Yeah, the economy is rough. It's actually smart to live with your parents or roommates to save on cost. I remember when I moved to this city, even on a low pay job I could afford rent and all the bills. And nowadays with the same kind of job/salary I would have trouble living on my own. And there are more bill too with the internet, cell phone and Water tax that I'm forced to pay in this part of town.


^This.

And to answer, I honestly wouldn't if I really liked/loved the person. I don't know anyone around my age who can afford their own home, and if you're renting it's like dead money (better to be paying off mortgage?), not to say renting is bad, some people need to live in different places for work, but just a thought.

There's also other variables to consider like what one studies and how quickly careers can be panned out. Some of my acquaintances who study medicine/law still live with the family, get home cooked meals and have no trouble with their social/dating lives.


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## Witchblade (Jun 17, 2017)

Deaf Mute said:


> ^This.
> 
> And to answer, I honestly wouldn't if I really liked/loved the person. I don't know anyone around my age who can afford their own home, and if you're renting it's like dead money (*better to be paying off mortgage?*), not to say renting is bad, some people need to live in different places for work, but just a thought.


Mortgage is "dead money" too. Most of what you pay goes to interest with only a tiny fraction going to actually paying off the loan, and then there are property taxes. So don't let that be a reason to stop you from moving out into an apartment.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Witchblade said:


> Mortgage is "dead money" too. Most of what you pay goes to interest with only a tiny fraction going to actually paying off the loan, and then there are property taxes. So don't let that be a reason to stop you from moving out into an apartment.


Agreed, completely. I rent now, though have owned houses and duplexes in the past. And I've lost 100K in equity due to the housing bubble when I had to sell after a divorce.

Owning is no guarantee to wealth building.

It should only be considered providing greater freedom to doing what you want with your property, excluding those HOAs which are overly restrictive.

I may own again, someday, but it'll probably be land that I'll retire on and who know what happens at that point.


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## Glycerin (Jun 26, 2016)

EitherThatOrTrees said:


> Imagine a person who is like 28 or nearing their 30s or even IN their 30s. The said person appears to be doing everything they can *to improve their life circumstances,* they work full-time, get plenty of exercise, and they pay all their own bills... However, they still live with their parents.


"to improve their circumstances" - meaning trying to move out? If they work full time and have enough money to provide for themselves and are "looking to improve their circumstances", is it safe to assume they are flat hunting?

I wouldn't want to go to their home because I am socially anxious and would be scared of their family members.


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## AceEmoKid (Apr 27, 2012)

yeah. i have in the past and i am now, too.

for the one currently, he's 26 and just lives with his mom in a 2 bedroom apartment. he has a job that's part time, borderline full time. i didn't know beforehand he lived with his mom (i met him on a dating app and it didn't state), but it was honestly fine when he told me. i was only hesitant because i'm nervous around new people and also i would feel a bit awkward hanging there and like.....obviously ****ing her son. 

it'd be a bit strange to note that you still live with your parents flat out on a dating profile, imo, but whatever floats your boat. if it were me, i'd at least wait until i started talking to someone and they've shown interest in meeting before saying anything.

but really, it's not a huge deal if you still live with your parents, even late 20s. it's a tough job market out there rn. it's honestly wiser to split rent or get help from your parents if they're nice enough to still help while you save up for your future. so long as you're trying to reach independence, i'm all for it, no judgment.


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## Chris S W (Mar 5, 2017)

I would, that could be preferable. I live with my parents, and I don't really want to move out; I'm saving quite a lot of money living here and it's comfortable. I would only move out if I met someone and we could use both our money to get a place together, or I move in with them.


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