# Should I tell a potential girlfriend that I have never had one?



## Howlinwolf69 (Nov 10, 2013)

I'm not a virgin by any means. I frequent escorts services. Because of the current stigma, I can't tell her about the escort thing either. People, especially women would not react well to that at all. But, I don't want her to think I'm a virgin either. Obviously I wouldn't have to rely on escorts if I had a gf. What should I do? Besides shoot myself. Lol


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

Nope, and if she asks maybe just say something like "nothing too serious". Ideally it wouldn't matter to her, but it's impossible to know. Probably not worth the risk and isn't really necessary info. If I was in a relationship I wouldn't want to know about the other person past dating history.


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## jim11 (May 23, 2011)

You don't have to tell any of them unless she asks you.


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## Crimson Lotus (Jul 26, 2013)

Personally I've always felt that honesty is the best policy but if you really don't want to tell her the truth then at least tell her a half truth.

Say that you've never had a formal relationship but that you once had this casual fling with a girl with whom you lost your virginity.


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## VictoryOverFear (Mar 18, 2014)

Ewwww you guys are so awful. He shouldn't lie about something like this, especially not to a girlfriend. That's sociopathic.

The only acceptable answer is that you should tell her the entire truth.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

:roll


You definitely shouldn't. You asking this question means that you already know this.


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## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

RelinquishedHell said:


> :roll
> 
> You definitely shouldn't. You asking this question means that you already know this.


Ditto.


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## Bert Reynolds (Dec 18, 2013)

Say you had "random hookups" in the past. This way it's vague enough to be open to interpretation and you aren't lying. Whether banging a random chick from a bar or banging a random escort, it makes no difference, they're both random hookups. She'll just assume it's the first one.


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## Putin (May 21, 2013)

Don't tell her about never having a gf and definitely don't tell her about the escort thing. I would just make up some believable sounding lies.


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## Steinerz (Jul 15, 2013)

Yes the half lie idea sounds like the best.



VictoryOverFear said:


> Ewwww you guys are so awful. He shouldn't lie about something like this, especially not to a girlfriend. That's sociopathic.
> 
> The only acceptable answer is that you should *tell her the entire truth*.


No way. Most people say they want to hear the truth but when they do hear it they reject it.


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## vanishingpt (Mar 9, 2012)

I wouldn't make up complete lies or anything, because if she's had boyfriends before, she'll know by the way you act and behave. Saying "nothing serious before" is good enough. But if you do get close to her, honesty will be needed in communication. There might come a point where she starts asking you more about your past, or maybe there won't. Just be prepared for that.


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## bonemealzambia (Mar 15, 2012)

if she asks, tell her. there are plenty respectable people who have never been in a relationship just because they're not interested in one. maybe she'll assume that you just never wanted a commitment until now.


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## VictoryOverFear (Mar 18, 2014)

Leeroy Jenkins said:


> No way. Most people say they want to hear the truth but when they do hear it they reject it.


And what's wrong with that?


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

VictoryOverFear said:


> And what's wrong with that?


It's setting people up to get disappointed.

It's like the loaded question, "Honey, do you think I've gained some weight?" after she had a baby. Of course, the answer is usually yes, because most pregnant women gain baby weight, but *the answer you should give her* is, "No, definitely not." Otherwise, you are just aching for a knockout, drag out fight. I don't even have had to have had a girlfriend to tell you that.

Most women say they wouldn't mind, until they actually meet someone who has never been with anyone. Then they question not only him, but themselves as well. If he wasn't good enough for other women, is he good enough for her? And is she less desirable if she likes him, but no other woman has liked him that way?

It's better to either lie, or omit the truth, because it closes the door on that. The relationships question is something asked out of insecurity, and if you're already insecure, you're basically setting yourself up to be even more insecure if this kind of question enters your brain. "Why did you never date, kiss, have sex?"


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## Steinerz (Jul 15, 2013)

VictoryOverFear said:


> And what's wrong with that?


Hi I_ really _like you so I wanted you to know I have never had a girlfriend BUT! to make up for it, I sleep with escorts on a frequent basis.

I am pretty sure that would weird out most people if told directly to their face.

It's like telling people you masturbate.

It's just not something you should mention. Especially people you are trying to impress.


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## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

Leeroy Jenkins said:


> It's like telling people you masturbate.


That's ok, everyone does!


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## Steinerz (Jul 15, 2013)

Mr Bacon said:


> That's ok, everyone does!


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## prettyful (Mar 14, 2013)

i really dont know whats wrong with a guy being a virgin. if i found out my guy had "escorts" i would have him tested for STDs.


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## ShatteredGlass (Oct 12, 2012)

Cam1 said:


> Nope, and if she asks maybe just say something like "nothing too serious". Ideally it wouldn't matter to her, but it's impossible to know. Probably not worth the risk and isn't really necessary info. If I was in a relationship I wouldn't want to know about the other person past dating history.


This.


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## VictoryOverFear (Mar 18, 2014)

I'm curious what other lies you're comfortable with. Are you all fine with a potential girlfriend lieing about having AIDS for instance? What about lieing about having a husband?


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## zomgz (Aug 17, 2009)

I'm kind of confused by some of these responses. How is remaining silent about something a lie?

If she asks, tell her the truth. Otherwise I would just keep it to myself.


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## jim11 (May 23, 2011)

zomgz said:


> I'm kind of confused by some of these responses. How is remaining silent about something a lie?
> 
> If she asks, tell her the truth. Otherwise I would just keep it to myself.


Indeed.


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## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

VictoryOverFear said:


> I'm curious what other lies you're comfortable with. *Are you all fine with a potential girlfriend lieing about having AIDS for instance? What about lieing about having a husband?*


That's on a completely different level. Lying by saying you've had relationships in the past - when in reality you've had none - has virtually no impact on the current potential relationship. Having AIDS or being married on the other hand... could have drastic consequences.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Howlinwolf69 said:


> I'm not a virgin by any means. I frequent escorts services. Because of the current stigma, I can't tell her about the escort thing either. People, especially women would not react well to that at all. But, I don't want her to think I'm a virgin either. Obviously I wouldn't have to rely on escorts if I had a gf. What should I do? Besides shoot myself. Lol


Well, I find it interesting that you take a jab at virgins on here, yet complain about the girlfriend situation. One would be more threatening to the relationship than the other, yet the "wrong" one is kept secret?


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Mr Bacon said:


> That's on a completely different level. Lying by saying you've had relationships in the past - when in reality you've had none - has virtually no impact on the current potential relationship. Having AIDS or being married on the other hand... could have drastic consequences.


Yes - Mistuh Behcon and I agree as you see in the above post :lol.


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## Howlinwolf69 (Nov 10, 2013)

millenniumman75 said:


> Well, I find it interesting that you take a jab at virgins on here, yet complain about the girlfriend situation. One would be more threatening to the relationship than the other, yet the "wrong" one is kept secret?


I'm not taking a jab at virgins. I'm not complaining either. I'm just seeing what you guys would do in my situation. I ain't sayin **** about it to her. Lol


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## Haunty (Oct 24, 2008)

I have a no ask no tell policy. Tell the truth if they ask, otherwise it's not really their business or even important info. Some women are scared away by lack of experience and the stigma increases with age.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

VictoryOverFear said:


> I'm curious what other lies you're comfortable with. Are you all fine with a potential girlfriend lieing about having AIDS for instance? What about lieing about having a husband?


It's not lying if you just don't mention that you're a virgin/who you've been with, it's omitting the truth. I don't personally see it as a huge deal, but I guess if you've been dating someone a while you should be able to talk to them about stuff. Of course a lot of people have sex before having been dating a while, so..

On the subject of stds though... I'd like to think people who use escorts for sex get checked out regularly, otherwise that's really not cool.


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## inerameia (Jan 26, 2012)

Wouldn't tell her that.


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

Lie, lie and lie but try and make it sound truthful if you know what I mean. If you tell the truth there's a high chance she'll walk. No girl likes being a guys first.

Good luck any how, at least you have the prospect of getting a girl, a lot more than some guys anyway, especially me.


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

Clarity's polar bear said:


> She'll find out eventually based on what you say. Women are more socially clever that way.


just waiting for the pro feminists to respond to this comment now saying how your statement is not true LOL.

Women are very good at spotting liars and are generally better in social settings, they can see right through a guy, trust me I've been seen through many times.

I was serving a woman at work a couple of days ago and she must of been reading my body language as she asked me not to be so nervous as she didn't bite, she was a MILF as well.

Kind of turned me on a bit to be honest.


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## rubyruby (Jun 17, 2009)

Just be vague. It's not really any of her business at this point.


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## blacknight112 (Dec 11, 2013)

Cam1 said:


> Nope, and if she asks maybe just say something like "nothing too serious". Ideally it wouldn't matter to her, but it's impossible to know. Probably not worth the risk and isn't really necessary info. If I was in a relationship I wouldn't want to know about the other person past dating history.





Bert Reynolds said:


> Say you had "random hookups" in the past. This way it's vague enough to be open to interpretation and you aren't lying. Whether banging a random chick from a bar or banging a random escort, it makes no difference, they're both random hookups. She'll just assume it's the first one.


 Agree with both this guys. It's no need for her to know unless she ask and like Bert said its not lying, just vague enough to be open to interpretation. You shouldn't lie about it at all( friend lied about having a car and the relationship was over before it started).:high5:agree


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

The last girl to ask me about my past, or why I'm single I jokingly said "I've been alone since the beginning of time" she laughed and then I told jer I just haven't found anyone lately.


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## Headband (Aug 29, 2013)

Relationships develop over time, little by little. No reason to just spill the beans right away unless she is directly asking you these questions. Give her some time to know you a bit better. If you tell her now, she practically knows nothing about your history except what you let her know and why would you start off with all the bad stuff. Show her why she would want to be with you first, then ease some minor negative issues about yourself and see how she takes it, but do lay a bomb like that right away.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

VictoryOverFear said:


> That's sociopathic.


And what do think being given a " w.t.f**" expression is or being laughed at and asked "are u a f**?" and being teased by people who don't give a rat's ring hole about how it affects the other person. Lying about not having had a relationship in the past is all about self preservation, protecting oneself from other people's sociopathic attitude towards us people.


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## TheMachine (Nov 24, 2009)

Just tell her you were never ready for a relationship until now. Say that who've had a few flings in the past and that's usually good enough.


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## jsmith92 (Dec 30, 2013)

zomgz said:


> I'm kind of confused by some of these responses. How is remaining silent about something a lie?
> 
> If she asks, tell her the truth. Otherwise I would just keep it to myself.


Seems like a good idea


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## nothing else (Oct 27, 2013)

prettyful said:


> i r*eally dont know whats wrong with a guy being a virgin*. if i found out my guy had "escorts" i would have him tested for STDs.


A lot. Usually if past an age a guy is still a virgin it sets off a ton of red flags. It makes girls question why because this is abnormal behaviour.

I don't feel like explaining, so you can read this article, many empirical studies support this.
http://voices.yahoo.com/why-girls-dont-like-virgin-guys-5054024.html


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## nothing else (Oct 27, 2013)

VictoryOverFear said:


> I'm curious what other lies you're comfortable with. Are you all fine with a potential girlfriend lieing about having AIDS for instance? What about lieing about having a husband?


AIDS would not be a deal breaker, but if she lied about crabs she's getting kicked out. A husband is fine, but if he was a better cook than me I might be a bit disappointed.

She could also lie about not murdering somebody and being a secret spy from Russia. She just better not keep her shoes on in the house.


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## jsmith92 (Dec 30, 2013)

nothing else said:


> AIDS would not be a deal breaker, but if she lied about crabs she's getting kicked out. A husband is fine, but if he was a better cook than me I might be a bit disappointed.
> 
> She could also lie about not murdering somebody and being a secret spy from Russia. She just better not keep her shoes on in the house.


AIDS would definitely be a deal breaker for me....I would run like hell


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