# How do I leave my room to go to the kitchen?



## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

I live in a dorm with where I share the bathroom and the kitchen.I don't have any problem with going into the bathroom,but I avoid going to the kitchen.
I'll have meal plans on weekdays,but still need to prepare meals on weekends.It's ok when I prepare breakfast,because that's just a quick meal,but dinner takes much more time to make.
I feel very anxious when going in there and I avoid going in there when there is someone else there.I'm just scared of going there,then someone might come in,I won't have anything to say and I get this weird idea that they'll be staring at what I'm making and stuff.
Up until now(meal plans hasen't started yet) I've been buying something to eat,but I don't want to be dependent of doing that all the time either so what could I do?
I've also noticed that people on my floor don't really use that much time in there,they don't really hang out or anything,but I'm still afraid of going in there.:afr
Anyone have any advice for me?


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## march_hare (Jan 18, 2006)

I think the only thing you can do is force yourself.
When I lived in a shared house I would avoid the kitchen too. my room was down three flights of stairs, and sometimes I'd walk up two of them, hear that people were in there, and run back down. When i got in there alone I'd make my food at break-neck speed and hurry downstairs with it.
I don't really have much advice... except I used to make a lot of cups of tea to get myself used to going in there when there were people in there. So I could quickly make it, do some quick small talk, and then dash out with the excuse of a essay to do if I felt too anxious to hang around. Sometimes sitting in there with a cup of tea and a book for half an hour helped me get over hte worry of people coming in while I was in there. I someone comes in you can say hello but get back to reading if you don't feel like small talk.


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## Amelia (Nov 24, 2003)

I know exactly what you mean, as I had the same problem when I was at college. Our kitchen was similar to yours in that it wasn't used all that much. I did cook in the kitchen (you need to eat properly), but usually at a time when others weren't likely to be there. For example, if I new that other people tended to be there at 6 p.m., I'd start cooking at 4 p.m. and just have my evening meal early. Other people did come in occasionally, but I didn't mind that so much if I'd already had the chance to commandeer the cooker!


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

Ok,I know that I need to force myself to go in there,but I need to eat.
On weekdays I'll probably only be making lunch,but I still need to get used to being in there since I will also have to cook all my meals during holidays and such.And I don't want to break my budget by eating out too much either.
I've noticed that most people here tend be in the kitchen after 6 pm so going in there before everyone else does is a good idea..


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## gandalfthegrey (Feb 14, 2010)

just go in and keep in mind if everyone uses it why should i be excluded get in there and do what you want!


easier said then done i know but it should get easier


gl


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## NervousInDublin (Feb 19, 2010)

have you talked to any one in the same dorm about this? If it was possible to have a support person there with you in the kitchen for a while it might help. Check out the anxiety and phobia workbook, theres a good section on exposure in there. 

Do you like the people that use this dorm kitchen? or might you be like this anywhere there a people you don't know really well. 

I'm so glad that I went to college close enough to home that I didn't have to share with strangers, I love my family and want to be around them as much as possible, living with strangers I couldn't do.


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

No,I haven't talked to anyone in my dorm about this.I've only been here for two weeks and anyway I don't think I would talk to anyone about me not daring to go into the kitchen.
I think that the people who use the kitchen are alright,and I can be like this other places where I don't know anyone,but I think that this is something that is especially hard for me.

Well,going to a college near my home was never an option for me and now I'm overseas as well so I can't live at home.Not that I would want to since I've been living away from home for 10 years now.


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## letitrock (Jan 10, 2009)

Invisible_girl said:


> I live in a dorm with where I share the bathroom and the kitchen.I don't have any problem with going into the bathroom,but I avoid going to the kitchen.
> I'll have meal plans on weekdays,but still need to prepare meals on weekends.It's ok when I prepare breakfast,because that's just a quick meal,but dinner takes much more time to make.
> I feel very anxious when going in there and I avoid going in there when there is someone else there.I'm just scared of going there,then someone might come in,I won't have anything to say and I get this weird idea that they'll be staring at what I'm making and stuff.
> Up until now(meal plans hasen't started yet) I've been buying something to eat,but I don't want to be dependent of doing that all the time either so what could I do?
> ...


I just have a question-so you share a kitchen with who? your one roommate or a whole floor of like 20 people or what?


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

letitrock said:


> I just have a question-so you share a kitchen with who? your one roommate or a whole floor of like 20 people or what?


I have single room so don't have a roommate so what I meant was my floor which is about 6 other people or something.


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## letitrock (Jan 10, 2009)

Invisible_girl said:


> I have single room so don't have a roommate so what I meant was my floor which is about 6 other people or something.


ooohh, so the 6 of you share a kitchen?


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## broseph (Jan 18, 2010)

Don't think about it just make yourself do it. You could also listen to your iPod when you're in the kitchen. People tend to be less likely to talk if they see you have headphones on.


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

letitrock said:


> ooohh, so the 6 of you share a kitchen?


Yeah,we do.


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

thepainwithin said:


> Well when I lived in a dorm, I'd scope out the most busy times of the kitchen. Then, I'd prepare my meals those times that weren't so busy. The other times, I just went to the cafeteria. Do you have that option?


Like I said,I'm doing meal plans on weekdays(I get breakfast and dinner at the cafe) so it will mostly be on the weekends that I'll do some cooking.But I suspect that I'll be buying meals on some weekends as well because food is much more cheaper here than in Norway.


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## bbarn (Dec 22, 2007)

i have installed a microwave, hot water steamer, mini fridge and small oven in my room just so i dont have to go into the kitchen. The only time i go there now is to use the stove to cook pasta or something. i know i have to make an effort to go there more often because avoiding doing it is not the solution. the times that i am there i talk and should know its ok for me not to talk all the time. juss gotta learn to accept that and i think i'll be ok


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## Lachlan (Jul 3, 2008)

I know im posting on your thread again! but it caught my eye as something similar to what i'm experiencing, of course. I sort of wish i had what you have now (i could have had a similar set up to you with your kitchen and sharing with 6 or so people. but instead its a bit different for me. My meals aren't so nice for me. ive already paid for three meals a day, cooked for me, but served in the dining room(where 500 others have their food too) and i have to sit somewhere, every meal. i know it wouldn't be great cooking in a communal kitchen. where do you eat? My solution to my problem has been skipping meals, not a good long term one though. i think i would cook at other times like people have said if i were you. or at least with the same people you may eventually get used to them somehow.


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## eagleheart (Jun 14, 2007)

I have had the same problem in several places. 

Currently I actually would prefer the previous arrangements I had. I am renting a room in someone's house and I feel very uncomfortable using the kitchen, not so much anxious as just wanting to be left in peace, never knowing who is going to be here or what they are going to want me to do, etc.

I eat in my room sometimes or else go out.

Headphones might help, I never tried that though. I would usually just use the kitchen when it was clear.


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