# Seeing a psychologist is only making things worse...



## pr520 (Sep 4, 2012)

I've been going to see a psychologist for a month now and it's really not working for me, at all. All he does is ask me question after question about "anxiety" and how "bad" it makes me feel when it happens.

You see, for me, anxiety is almost like a delusion. It's this fearful part of ourselves, but it's just that...a PART of us. The more power we give it, the more we THINK about "anxiety," the more likely we are to BELIEVE that "anxiety" is who we really are. When obviously it's not...it's just a part of us.

And that's my beef with these psychology sessions. The guy uses the word "anxiety" 20+ times in the span of an hour. He just repeats it OVER and OVER until it gets hammered into my head and can't stop thinking about it. The tone of every session is all super-serious and there's not a HINT of humor in it. The last time i went in there he made me write stuff on gravestone that said "how i lived my life trying not to have anxiety."

I guess what i'm saying is that i feel like this guy is just pounding this idea of "anxiety" into my head, and is actually making my BELIEF in the power of my own anxiety even worse. I want to GET AWAY from this, not keep confirming it's power over and over again. 

To me, it's like someone trying to quit a drug...if they went to a therapist and TALKED about the drug for an hour they'd probably just want to go do it. Well, when i TALK about anxiety for an hour all i do is feel anxious. I'd stop going but my parents are forcing me to see a psychologist...*sigh*

Anyone else feel this way?


----------



## dismiss (Jul 26, 2012)

I can see what you're saying... The gravestone exercise seems pretty grim, not very positive or uplifting.

Have you tried telling your psychologist what you've written to us? You're very articulate, in print anyhow. 

Maybe there's a method to what he's doing that hasn't been realized yet?

Have you tried asking your folks if you can see a different psychologist?

I hope you can figure something out so therapy becomes useful. Good luck!


----------



## pr520 (Sep 4, 2012)

Yea i guess i just wish the therapy was a bit more positive and uplifting. Prior to going, i was hoping the psychologist would use humor and light-hearted exercises so that i can STOP seeing this from a grim and serious perspective.

But like i said, his methods seem to be really enforcing just how grim and serious this anxiety really is in my mind. That's what I'm TRYING to change! I'd be happy if we didn't take the issue SO seriously everytime...seeing problems in life from a more humerous or carefree perspective is something i always true to do...but it's obviously not on my psychologists "treatment agenda." lol...


----------



## dismiss (Jul 26, 2012)

Well, he might not be a good fit for you. He may also simply not have much of a sense of humor. 
I would try talking to him. 
If that doesn't help, try talking to your folks about how disappointing this is... Never know, maybe they'll support you in looking for a new doc.


----------



## justaquietman (Sep 8, 2012)

Wow, your post almost exactly described my situation with a therapist. My parents forced me to go to one after they weren't seeing any "progress" in my life situation with a so-called family counselor and the therapist seemed eager to diagnose me with "anxiety" based on the fact that it was a very uncomfortable situation in explaining to him why I was there, which obviously affected my behavoir during the interaction. He would go on tangents with the word anxiety in both addressing me and in talking about people who have it, saying things like "anxious people are anxious about taking medication for their anxiety"... it was utterly ridiculous. He prescribed me prozac without wanting to listen to my particular situation and believes it to be a one size fits all pill, an attitude that makes me have practically zero respect for modern psychiatric therapists. So, I lied to both him and my parents about taking it when I was not, and when I went back the second time I made a point to act a bit more detached and at ease during the conversation and he said he thought I had greatly improved due to the medication, utter proof of his uselessness. Not to mention that he was also downright mean at times, saying my mom should "throw me out on my ***" because I don't have a job even though I've gone through various programs that promised to get me one and never lived up to that. On the third and final visit to him when my parents finally admitted that the vists weren't doing any good and I wouldn't have to go back to him again, I told him I wasn't taking prozac any longer and he went bizerk slamming me over and over again with being "too anxious" to take it and trying to get me to admit it's because of my "anxiety" that I refused, an opinion which I would not let him enforce into me, pointing out that when he was under the impression that I was using it that he thought he saw improvements in my behaviour, proving how unreliable that diagnosis was based on such a rushed and impersonable perception. So, be forceful in your interaction with your psychiatrist to get him to truly listen to you if you feel he is doing you no good and trying to mentally strongarm you into his generalized view of you as an "anxious patient" which as you said only makes it worse and mainly serves his need for you to be dependent on him, there are very few out there who actually care enough to really work with you as an individual, most, I'm afraid, are interested in nothing more than a hefty annual salarly like mine who had formerly been a businessman and only seems to have become a psychiatrist in order to gain more stable reliability with his income.


----------



## pantazi (Sep 3, 2012)

Well I know people who've been having therapy all their lives and are no better.

So don't assume just cause that's what he's meant to do, he will help you.

Like doctors don't clear most illnesses, most therapists in my experience don't help at all.

Depresing but true.

I'll bet lots of people on here are the same mate.


----------



## Sierpinski (Jun 17, 2012)

All of us go to therapy when we're young, but notice that there's a "30+" section on these forums. That means the therapy didn't work. And if therapy is "like insulin," then we would just stay in it and control our symptoms. If you find people over 30 (or 40, or 50) with the same symptoms as teens in these forums, that means the rigamarole didn't work. I know that someone somewhere in these forums called me a "troll" for saying this sort of thing, but it really troubles me to see young people going into therapy thinking that it will help them -- especially given the time and money expected from them. I don't think it's fair to sell false hope. One result, as we're seeing here, is for the patient either to blame themselves or to think that they just have a bad therapist.


----------



## UndreamingAwake (Apr 11, 2011)

I can sort of relate. When I first started therapy a little over 2 years ago, it seemed to make my OCD/SA symptoms only worse. This went on and on for about 6 months, and I didn't understand it. Later, I realized that it was because I was forced to speak about my obsessions, my anxiety and everything, and do so without holding anything back. I think that is a normal part of therapy, because you are confronted with everything. Also, you need to obviously face something before you can overcome it.

However, I do agree that your therapist would do well to be a little more cheerful and give you some hope, something to laugh about, or whatever. I know the first psychologist that actually treated me was also into some of the things I was into, and he wouldn't mind sometimes just spending sessions talking about hobbies, women, or whatever. In other words; maybe this guy is, as some have stated, not very good of a therapist for you personally. Is there a possibility for you to talk your parents into letting you try seeing another therapist? You have to feel good with the one treating you, otherwise the entire therapy is for nothing.

That being said; no, they are not magicians. You are, in the end, the one that has to go out and make use of the tools that he/she gives you. That's all they can do for you; talk with you, lend and ear, teach you how to deal with it, and evaluate how your exposure goes. It's not that you will be "cured" of it after seeing a therapist. Like I said; after 2 years, I still have SA and OCD. Fortunatly, my OCD is mostly into remission, and my SA is also a lot better now. I used to not be able to leave the house for years. They work, if the therapist is the right one for you, and if you yourself are willing to work on overcoming your SA.


----------

