# My First Date!!! Yea!!



## skeeter31 (Dec 9, 2006)

I just had to post this to encourage everyone else, and just to vent some of my triumph that I'm feeling.

Ok, there is a girl in one of my Education courses at college that I sit next to and we really hit it off in class. We chat and joke around and even flirt during class. I don't know how I do it, it just comes natural when I'm with her.

She is a lot like me in some ways and my polar opposite in others. She is completely NON-SA. She has no problem speaking in front of people and has like a million friends. But now that I've gotten to know her I've found out that like me, she's afraid of things like needles, dogs, and some other more personal things.

So she's been bugging me to IM and text her outside of class. I've never done this at any point in my life. But, there I am texting her and having 2 hour long conversations on IM. We eve talk on the phone.

So, here's the good part, out of the blue, she asks me if I want to "hang out" with her soon. Saying she can't wait to hang out. I'm floored. I'm under the impression that she's just being nice to the quiet guy, but she really likes me. So we set it up that she would come to my house last night after I got off work and we were going to go to dinner.

So she came over. I drove her to Chili's and we had dinner. I was on Cloud Nine! We were in the restaurant from 5:45 until 9:30!! Oh, MY, GOD!! I never spend more than maybe an hour tops in a restaurant. We were just having the greatest conversations and we had so much fun. 

Then I took her back to my house and she came in and we talked with my parents for another hour or so. She is just so adorable, and beautiful, and smart, and funny, and just the best girl I could ever even dream about.

The only thing that didn't happen, was there was no kiss. I walked her to her car and she started it and got out so I could tell her directions to get her back to the main road, but it was just so cold that she got back in her car and left. I just hope I didn't offend her by not kissing her. I feel I made enough steps in one day, the first kiss, is going to take a couple of more steps to get too. LOL!

I have just had a big grin glued to my face all day today. I haven't heard from her yet today, but we were both busy with Observations in Elementary School Classrooms and then I had to work and now she's out with her sisters. 

But I know she was into me. She laughed at everything I said. She stared into my eyes, and was playing with her hair and got embarrassed when she said something silly or dumb. She was just so perfect. I don't want to come on too needy and call her already, I'll IM her tonight and hopefully call her tomorrow. She already said she wants to go out again, and that I have to come to her house so I can meet her parents and sisters. 

It wasn't a true "date" in a sense since we never technically called it that, but it was close enough. When I ask her out again, I'll make sure to call it a date, subtly of course. And maybe I will get that elusive first kiss.

I know these are the feelings that 13 and 14 year olds have when they have their first date, but for me, it waited until I was 21. Oh well, at least it got here. 

If it hasn't happened to you yet, it will. You just need to stick your neck out there once and hope it doesn't get chopped off. With her it was so easy. She started to talk to me in class and made me feel at ease before my barriers could come up. She invaded my castle before the drawbridge team could bring the bridge up. And I'm glad she did.

The next big step, besides the kiss, will be telling her more about how I am socially. She could kind of tell I'm not the social butterfly she is, but I need to lay all my cards out there soon, before I get too deep into playing a different role and can't get back out without ruining everything. Maybe after 2 or 3 more dates, I'll tell her.

One question, when should I ask her out again? I'm going to see her on Tuesday in class. We're going on a "field trip" for the class and I'm picking her up at school and taking her to the place and then we're going to get lunch. Should I just save that as the next date, or should I schedule something for the time between now and then? Maybe something over the weekend?

Sorry for the long story, I just had to share it. And I just hope, so much, that she feels the same way that I do. Thanks for listening and hopefully everyone here will be able to feel this way at some point. I never thought it would happen to me, but it did!! YEA!! :fall


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## Failure (Feb 4, 2007)

Great job, hope you had a ton of fun.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

Way to go!! As for when to ask her out again, i have no idea.


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## RedBlueFish (Nov 11, 2003)

:boogie :banana :boogie :banana 

If it helps any, I didn't have my first date until I was 21 too and I was so dense I didn't even realize it was a date or that he was even interested in me. So yeah, you're not the only one waiting until 21 to get their first date.


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

Woah, how can one click like that. Way to go!


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## skeeter31 (Dec 9, 2006)

Just wanted to update on this. I've been talking to my new girlfriend every night this week and she is totally into me. She calls me when she leaves work and we talk for almost a full hour at a time.

I'm going out with her again on Monday night and then I'll also see her on Tuesday in class when we go on some ridiculous "field Trip" like we're in elementary school. But now it's not bad because I get to spend the day with her. Otherwise, I don't think I would have been going.


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## custard25 (Feb 19, 2007)

Just one question, when do u kiss a girl, do u just go for it after the date or what?


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## ozzie (Oct 22, 2006)

skeeter31 said:


> I feel I made enough steps in one day, the first kiss, is going to take a couple of more steps to get too. LOL!


I truly am happy for you. I bet you'll be ecstatic with that first kiss. Keep it up. hehe.



skeeter31 said:


> Thanks for listening and hopefully everyone here will be able to feel this way at some point. I never thought it would happen to me, but it did!! YEA!! :fall


With that amount of positive attitude, timing, and good luck, yea we should all be able to feel that way at some point or another. =)


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## Meta Ridley (Jun 2, 2005)

:boogie thats really good to hear makes me feel more positive about my situation. :yes


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## Farren (Jan 5, 2006)

That's fantastic! Ahh, love is in the air...


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## onlylordknows (Apr 27, 2004)

congrats

if you really like this girl, make sure you show interest and do some chasing!! I made this mistake and now there's no spark with this girl from my class

just last weekend, some of the classmates went camping.. she was the only girl that went with 5 other guys... I didn't go and I regret it a lot because if I spent more time with her, maybe a relationship could blossom


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Ok we need another update. Congratulations on asking her out!


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

Awesome. Yeah, keep us updated! 

gerard


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## skeeter31 (Dec 9, 2006)

Ok, so we went out Monday night and then again on Tuesday for class. On Monday she wasn't really feeling well, so we went to dinner and then I took her home. It wasn't the best of dates, but it was better than nothing. :lol 

Yesterday I picked her up at school to take her to the National Lab where our class was meeting for a "field trip." We had a great time at the lab and then went and had lunch afterwards. AS we pulled back into school, as I pulled up to her car, I leaned over and she leaned in and we kissed. :kiss . It was the single greatest feeling in my life. I can't even put into words how it felt. It was simply amazing. But, I'm sad because she's leaving for a week long vacation to Aruba tomorrow and I won't see her until next Friday. I'm going to miss her. :um


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## Halcyon (Nov 24, 2003)

*Re: re: My First Date!!! Yea!!*

that story was amazing, inspirational and uplifting

liked how you kept so positive and didn't seem like you rushed it


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## Strider (Sep 8, 2006)

whoa great stuff man! keep it up


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## AskJeeves (May 25, 2005)

You don't know how wonderful that was to read!! Just goes to show that there ARE some truely great people out there in this world!! Please keep us updated and fill us in on the latest news!! Lol


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

I am so happy for you!

Good luck with the relationship

I hope the rest of us can have this experience too one day


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## nickg66 (Mar 21, 2007)

wow! thats so awesome, congrats! Your story totally gives me hope


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## zarathustra55 (Mar 3, 2007)

You give hope to even a staunch pessimist like me. Good Luck!


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## doseone (Mar 22, 2007)

oh skeeter!! thats beautiful! im so happy for you...getting me all misty eyed here...

you gave a lot of people hope with this thread, you needa give us another update


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## ghostbutterflies (Mar 21, 2007)

Congrats!


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## skeeter31 (Dec 9, 2006)

Ok, a quick update.

We were on the phone together for an hour and a half last night. I've never been on the phone for that long. It's just so natural with her. 

While on the phone, the subject of boyfriend/girlfriend came up and we decided it was time to become a true couple. YEA!! No we've been texting eachother today saying "Hi boyfriend" or "Hey girlfriend." It's such a great feeling.

She came to my house the other night and we just sat on the couch watching movies on TBS (Legally Blonde and Jersey Girl) until midnight. She was leaning on my shoulder and we were all snuggled up. It was a wonderful night. I spend my days constantly thinking of her and I can't wait for every opportunity to see her.

Thanks for all the positive feedback everyone. It makes me feel even better than I do right now!!


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

No way. Congrats. I'm so jealous.


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## Gadget (Jun 23, 2006)

Well done mate! I think you have done what alot of ppl on here dream about.


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## skeeter31 (Dec 9, 2006)

Another update, because I know people like to hear the good stories, instead of always focusing on the bad ones.

We've been a "couple" now for about 2 weeks and it's great. We talk all the time and we see eachother pretty often too. It's tough, because she lives a good 30 minutes away, but we see eachother about 3-4 times a week.

She's actually coming to my house tonight and then again on Sunday. Sunday's my birthday (21, yay!) and she's coming to my Grandmother's house to meet my family, then we're going to hang out together for the rest of the night. 

I'm so happy right now, and it couldn't have come at a better time. My advice, is if you think there is any chance with someone you like, just go for it. It was extremely tough for me, but I did it once and now I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life.

It just started as small talk with the girl that sits next to me in class and it just lead to this. I never thought I would meet someone, but now I can't imagine living life without someone like Annie!!

There was just something about her that allowed me to be myself and still feel comfortable. I've told her about my SA and she totally understands. She doesn't really like "Going Out" all too much either. She likes just sitting around watching TV with me, and that's awesome. She knows, I'm never going to feel comfortable surrounded by her friends at a party, but I'll do it once and a while so I can be with her. She would never force me to do something that makes me feel totally uncomfortable.

Well, that's it for today. I'll keep updating if this can help anyone else out there. Just go for it! You'll be so glad you did!!


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## aviator99 (Nov 23, 2006)

Thats awesome man. I think thats those are similar scenes and emotions we all play out in our heads. Yours became a reality though. Damn that just sounds awesome, I could only imagine the feeling. That must have felt better than anything, rahhhhh! I hope I can experience it one day. I'm only a year behind you, so heres to hoping


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## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

Hey skeeter, that's an AWESOME story. I'm happy for you.
You said you were with the girl for 3 hours at the restaurant....what did you talk about for 3 hours? Was it like a 50/50 conversation? what was your mindset? I think these answers would be helpful to a lot of people here.


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## Kentucky_Fried (Mar 29, 2007)

Awesome story! I'm glad to finally hear some good news about a person with SA.


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## phob33 (Mar 31, 2007)

Skeeter31, you are so lucky. Good for you. I'm a 44 year old femail and have never been on a date - that's right, NEVER. I'm tall, slim and people say I'm pretty. People always ask, "why aren't you married or dating". It's kind of embarrasing - but I say I don't want a man in my life because I'm raising my 13 year old daughter. That's just a cover-up. OK, now you're asking how I could have a daughter. Well, when I was younger I used alcohol to medicate my social anxiety. I partied with this guy a couple time (an alcoholic) and that's when it happened. It's so nice to read on this site about people like me. I really didn't know what was wrong with me... thought I was crazy of course. Well, I went on Paxil yesterday and I'm hoping I can have someone of a normal life. All I do is analyse everything I do. NOBODY knows this because I can fake confidence somewhat (which I find weird too). I've quit a job because I was supposed to talk at a meeting, I don't have much of a social life. And that's another thing that's weird - when I play sports I am SO confident because I'm good at them. But it social situations I'm a total loser!! Well, I hope things get better and I don't just "exist".... I have high hopes.


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## sunflower3431 (Apr 1, 2007)

I just read your story. Thanks for sharing it with us. I am happy for you. Keep us updated.


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## skeeter31 (Dec 9, 2006)

Ok, it's been a while and I thought I should fill everyone in on what's been going on! It gets pretty sad, but there is a very happy ending to read on!!

Ok, so, 2 weekends ago, March 31st, my girlfriend called me out of the blue and said she was able to hang out tonite and she wanted to come to my house and watch some movies. I was ecstatic I loved getting the chance to see her. Well, after about an hour of being at my house she starts to say "I have something to say that you're not going to like..." And she proceeds to tell me that she's not ready for a relationship and that she just wants to be friends with me...Then she leaves.

I was pretty heartbroken, but I held myself in check. Then the next day I see on her Facebook page that she is already in another relationship with some other guy. So I message her to ask "WTF?" and she says she met him at a bar Saturday night and they just clicked! So she wasn't ready for a relationship with me...but she was with him. This really got me down. Here I was feeling like crap and she's already got a new guy. Not to mention that that day (Sunday April 1st) was my 21st birthday. She broke up with me the night before my birthday...that was a great present!

Anyway, 3 days later, the guy she dumped me for, dumps her and she comes crawling back to me saying she made a big mistake and she's sorry and wants to get back together with me...I basically told her to **** off. Why should I take her back so that she can dump me again in a month when she meets another guy at a bar??

Now the happy part. Besides the fact that I stood up for myself and didn't let her weasel her way back with me...I actually found another girl that I really like and I asked her out.

After going out with my ex-girlfriend, it has really upped my confidence and self-esteem. I re-connected with some of my friends from High School, via Facebook, and I messaged this girl that I've had my eye on for a while, and she messaged back!! She and I Student Teach at the same Elementary School and we see eachother almost everyday, and we smile at eachother and say hi, but not much else. I actually went to High School with her, but I didn't even know her then...I had a big graduating class (800+).

So, I had lunch with her yesterday in the teacher's lounge at school and we chatted for a while and then last night when I got home from class at night. I talked with her on AIM for a bit and I asked her out! And she said YES!! 

I feel good on so many levels. I have confidence that I never thought I would have. I now have had 2 girlfriends in the span of a month, that's exactly 2 more than I've had in the previous 20 years of my life...lol. And socially I feel a lot more comfortable talking with people and stuff like that. So even though I felt like crap for a week and had a horrible birthday, things turned out for the best! I'm with a much better girl then before. There's no risk of her meeting someone at a bar...lol, and she lives in the same town, so no more 30min drives to get to see my gf. And, I actually asked her out!! I didn't wait for her to ask me out, I took the first step and it didn't turn out badly!!

Well, that's all for now. I'm still dating, just with a new girl than before! I guess now I'll have to keep updating about my new relationship!!

-Matt


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

Wow.

It's so nice that things are going so great for you


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## Naitzmic (Apr 11, 2007)

Eh... It's great that you're feeling good and stuff, and congrats on
having finally started dating, but... yeah...

I'd advise you to be a little more realistic about first dates.
It's fine that you're excited and stuff, but a first date is just a first date...
Calling this new girl your "girlfriend" just because she agreed to go
out with you is... well... just sounds a bit premature.

Also, remember a few posts back, when you thought that "Annie"
was "perfect"? That didn't turn out too good now, did it?
Be a little cautious at first... it's only healthy.
Don't go thinking "this is the girl of my dreams" before you even
really know her...

Heh, and one more thing... it sounds as maybe you're not
dating these girls for all that healthy reasons.
You say you feel great because you got a date; more comfortable socially,
more confident etc... That's cool, but it shouldn't really be an all important
factor as to why you're going out with anyone...
If you rely on having a date to feel good about yourself, you're just setting yourself up for a downfall, in the case that it doesn't last.
I wouldn't risk getting emotionally attached to - much less dependent - on a girl before we'd actually been together for a while... (and I'm not talking two weeks.)

Also, with this "epiphany" you've had, that you can actually get girls
to go out with you. Don't get carried away...
I made a habit out of using girls for my own satisfaction,
regardless of their feelings.
At the start of the relationship between me and my fiancee,
the fact that I had been a "player" made her really insecure
and scared... Took a while to earn her trust, and she still worries
that I'll cheat on her from time to time. It's not worth it.


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## Karla (Dec 26, 2005)

i'm glad you found someone else so quickly


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