# Saw my girlfriend having sex.



## Echoo (Oct 29, 2012)

I am so mentally crushed right now, crying and screaming and I must tell someone about this, I will go crazy otherwise. 

I have met the most wonderful girl these last 6 months and everything has been fantastic between us. We have had great chemistry since day one and I have even met her family and she has met my family as well. I really felt like she would be the one for me since I've always had a hard time finding girls and I wouldn't like to see this one get away. 

Anyway, I visited my cousin back home who's abroad studying and I told my girlfriend that I would come 1 day later and that I would miss her birthday that is today and I had planned so many great things for today. 

I went to her place directly after getting to the airport, I didn't even leave my suitcase at home, I brought it with me and I had her keys and I thought she'd be at work. When I arrived to her apartment I took the steps and I heard some moaning and screaming and the walls are really thin and I initially thought it was the neighbors. 

It wasn't, the closer I got I realized it came from her apartment. I carefully locked up the door and the sound was from her bedroom. My heart stopped and I heard a guy moaning as well, I went straight to the bedroom and saw her on a muscular guy. 

The guy held her hips and she got so shocked and turned around and she looked horrified. 

Then the most awful thing happened, the guy pulled her towards him and continued intercourse for 2 seconds right in my face. It felt like slow-motion and she finally hit him on the chest and tried to grab a hold of me. 

I just took my bag and went out. She has been calling me the last 6 hours and I have 30 missed text messages and 50 missed calls. I am so crushed and so extremely sad.


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## ToeSnails (Jul 23, 2013)

Is It roughly her time of the month?


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## Crimson Lotus (Jul 26, 2013)

Ugh... That is truly, truly horrible. I can't imagine how betrayed you must feel. 

I think the best thing you can do is to just cut all ties with her immediately, don't answer her calls, she'll just say the same meaningless BS that all cheating scum always says.

Also, I know it's so easy to say it when you're not the one currently experiencing it but all those nasty feelings will go away sooner than later, you have the right to be incredibly upset but try not lose perspective of what happened; it's not the end of the world, you just ran into of those disgusting people that likes to play with the feelings of others.

And try to look at the... "Positive" side, I suppose, it was for the best that you find out now what kind of person she is instead of doing so later after you had wasted even more time on her.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

That sucks.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I really do sympathise with you, and that sounds ****ed up, This post is really upsetting actually, even to read.


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## brooke_brigham (Nov 28, 2013)

Persephone The Dread said:


> I really do sympathise with you, and that sounds ****ed up. This post is really upsetting actually, even to read.


I was gonna say that the detail of this story makes me seriously question the authenticity of it., I'm surprised OP didn't describe the strangers _ _ _ _. :no


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

brooke_brigham said:


> I was gonna say that the detail of this story makes me seriously question the authenticity of it., I'm surprised OP didn't describe the strangers _ _ _ _. :no


mm I don't want to accuse the op of messing around cause if he's not lying that's really messed up and maybe he's just traumatically revisiting it here. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, I was really upset about it actually while reading and then he started going into way tmi :| but like I say I want to give op the benefit of the doubt.


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## Echoo (Oct 29, 2012)

Persephone The Dread said:


> mm I don't want to question the op cause if he's not lying that's really messed up and I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, I was really upset about it actually while reading and then he started going into way tmi :| but like I say I want to give op the benefit of the doubt.


I am totally crushed, I am crying and screaming and I am panicking. The details I explained are the things that make me feel the worst.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Echoo said:


> I am totally crushed, I am crying and screaming and I am panicking. The details I explained are the things that make me feel the worst.


Is there anyone close to you in real life that you can talk about this safely with?


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## Gas Raid (Feb 19, 2014)

If that happened to me and I could take the guy on, I'd shove his head through a window or something. Sucks, man. 

Also, find somebody better than her. She deserves to rot


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## jimjam (Aug 22, 2012)

Well ****. This is why I've learned to never put this much of yourself into a relationship. It's for this same reason that I just don't trust women, nor expect them, to be faithful. I love women, but it's just not realistic to assume this would never happen. I don't believe in the concept of "the one" anymore. It's a western fairy tale.

So, you saw it with your own eyes. There's really no denying it for her. She's going to try and explain it away. She's gonna beg for forgiveness. She's gonna say it's a mistake. She'll try to justify it. Anything to keep her cake and eat it too. You've seen it in movies a thousand times. Now it's happening to you, in real life.

Despite what happened, you control how you feel and what happens next. You can basically choose to care or not. If you care, this will bother you deeply. Your best option is to walk away quickly and never look back. Nothing she can say will ever change what you saw. If you can find a way to stop caring, you can choose to carry on the relationship, knowing logically that you can never trust her. You can keep the relationship for convenience, and just keep looking else where in the mean time.

Regardless, neither option is wrong. Its just life. You can only do so much.

Take care. I wish you the best. This isn't a fun situation to be in. But do realize this is just a part of life, it happens to a lot of people. You will be far more prepared if it happens again in the future. Think of it all as a learning experience. And remember this situation doesn't reflect you in any way. Its not your fault.


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## Echoo (Oct 29, 2012)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Is there anyone close to you in real life that you can talk about this safely with?


Absolutely no one, I can't tell my friends about this. I have too much pride, I am the same person who claimed I was having an exam and a soccer game on my birthday and that my teammates would celebrate me meanwhile I sat at the library all day long and went to a ****ty food joint all alone afterwards. If I can't even say that I am lonely, how am I supposed to say that this!?

My life was so good and I felt so amazing, I moved to a new city and got plenty of new friends, I joined a high level soccer team and I thought I had an amazing girlfriend.


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## Alienated (Apr 17, 2013)

That SUCKS !! I am sorry man...


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## Echoo (Oct 29, 2012)

KvLT said:


> If that happened to me and I could take the guy on, I'd shove his head through a window or something. Sucks, man.
> 
> Also, find somebody better than her. She deserves to rot


I despise him from the bottom of my heart but I try to be rational and he wasn't the one who cheated on me. I just can't get the view of him doing that to her, I hate him so much and I hate her so much.


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## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

Been there, and I feel for you. Just hearing that you've been cheated on is a s*** storm, but actually walking in on it is a total mind-f***.



brooke_brigham said:


> I was gonna say that the detail of this story makes me seriously question the authenticity of it., I'm surprised OP didn't describe the strangers _ _ _ _. :no


I also found the details odd, like after I went through that there's no way I'd relive it by describing it, even talking about it in very general terms was too hard. But I'll just give him the benefit of the doubt, it's a horrible situation if it's true.


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

With the most honest and open opinion I am absolutely sorry to hear that my heart goes out to you and hope that when you recover you take the consideration to immediately leave her for your best interest. Break all contact make your piece with the horrible situation if you have the strength ask WHY she would do such a thing as it will probably be a question in your mind. Do not in anger shame her. Be above her and go your own way.

May you follow my advice from personal experience know this: once a cheater always a cheater.


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## springseternal (Mar 10, 2014)

That's so awful  How devastating that must be, but as horrible as it is, at least you found out what she's really like sooner than later. Imagine if you'd been together for years, built a proper life together and you came back and saw that... you'd be even more crush there'd be nothing left of you.
She doesn't deserve you
If you feel to give her another chance, don't. There's nothing to say she won't do it again if you go away on another trip, and even if she won't you will always be paranoid, wondering what your girlfriend is up to while you're away
Don't let that girl ruin you life
you WILL find somebody else, someone better who deserves you and will treat you the way you deserve to be treated
Don't let the feeling of 'never going to find someone again' pull you in to getting back with her.
Don't blame yourself, her cheating was not your fault, so don't for one second think it is, there's no excise for it.
Be strong
You will make it through

xx


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## osnapitscarie (Jan 12, 2014)

That really sucks :I My advice for you would be to leave her. She obviously has problems being faithful...


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Echoo said:


> Absolutely no one, I can't tell my friends about this. I have too much pride, I am the same person who claimed I was having an exam and a soccer game on my birthday and that my teammates would celebrate me meanwhile I sat at the library all day long and went to a ****ty food joint all alone afterwards. If I can't even say that I am lonely, how am I supposed to say that this!?
> 
> My life was so good and I felt so amazing, I moved to a new city and got plenty of new friends, I joined a high level soccer team and I thought I had an amazing girlfriend.


Yeah I just read your older post from a while back :'( kind of want to give you a hug.

Well the other stuff still counts though, you moved to a new city, got new friends and the Soccer stuff. I'd say aside from the girlfriend you're doing pretty awesomely from the sounds of it. I know this won't mean anything now because you're gutted but try and focus on that moving forward.

I don't know what your relationship is like with your friends and how close to them you are, but they should be supportive about this unless they're soulless *******s. You have nothing to feel bad about here either this happens to a lot of people (unfortunately)



ToeSnails said:


> Is It roughly her time of the month?


I was going to quote this but forgot... What exactly are you getting at here?


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## forex (Dec 29, 2010)

The way you explained it (lol), f*** man ...what did you do tothat guy ?

Who's appartmemt is it , yours or hers.


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

Echoo said:


> Absolutely no one, I can't tell my friends about this. I have too much pride, I am the same person who claimed I was having an exam and a soccer game on my birthday and that my teammates would celebrate me meanwhile I sat at the library all day long and went to a ****ty food joint all alone afterwards. If I can't even say that I am lonely, how am I supposed to say that this!?
> 
> My life was so good and I felt so amazing, I moved to a new city and got plenty of new friends, I joined a high level soccer team and I thought I had an amazing girlfriend.


 Amigo this is a destruction of intimacy not a lie about wanting solitude. If you have someone netural to her you must speak to them.


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## Echoo (Oct 29, 2012)

My ex girlfriend cheated on me as well and I never told the new one about the cheating part, I only made up that I dumped her which I really didn't. My ex cheated on me and then when the guy stopped caring for her she came back for my attention again before she cut the ties completely with me. 

I even told the new one about how much garbage cheating is and if she ever would consider cheating she should first break up with me. I told her that.


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## h00dz (Dec 25, 2012)

Wow man this is terrible, don't know what to say other than my condolences. At least there has been other more positive improvements in your life, thats something to hold onto.


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## Grog (Sep 13, 2013)

KvLT said:


> If that happened to me and I could take the guy on, I'd shove his head through a window or something. Sucks, man.
> 
> Good on ya he probably didn't know she was with someone not his fault but hers
> 
> ...


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## ToeSnails (Jul 23, 2013)

> I was going to quote this but forgot... What exactly are you getting at here?


Oh, he mentioned this guy was muscular. My mind wandered off in a direction of a study saying women close to her fertile period of the month are more attracted to muscular features. Just asking out of interest if it had maybe anything to do with it.

That being said, I understand why OP is devastated. He'll get over it. At least she gave him 6 good months, no?


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## Valtron (Jul 6, 2013)

DO NOT reply to her. This is it, you're gone. She ****ed up, now she gets to deal with the guilt. Block her number.

Go for a brisk walk, punch a pillow, cry, listen to some music .....do whatever you need to do to try and calm down. I know you're probably in a lot of shock right now, so please just take care of yourself. 

You WILL get through this.


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## SupaDupaFly (Sep 1, 2011)




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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

ToeSnails said:


> Oh, he mentioned this guy was muscular. My mind wandered off in a direction of a study saying women close to her fertile period of the month are more attracted to muscular features. Just asking out of interest if it had maybe anything to do with it.
> 
> That being said, I understand why OP is devastated. He'll get over it. At least she gave him 6 good months, no?


I've heard that a few times too you know, but not sure I've personally experienced it. I also heard that being on the pill negates that? Anyway, I seriously doubt the effects would be so pronounced they'd make someone incapable of controlling themselves. Would just be pointless speculation really.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

springseternal said:


> That's so awful  How devastating that must be, but as horrible as it is, at least you found out what she's really like sooner than later. Imagine if you'd been together for years, built a proper life together and you came back and saw that... you'd be even more crush there'd be nothing left of you.
> She doesn't deserve you


I agree. I never caught my exwife with her pants down, but I saw emails and stuff between her and her lovers while we were married. I read the things she wrote to them, and them to her...really detailed, Xrated stuff, some of it pretty sick. I really don't know what I would have one if I had caught them together. Something tells me I would have lost it, and beat him beyond recognition. Anways, I do know where you're coming from. I was with her for 18 years, and we have three kids together. Be glad you found out now. She took everything I have, most importantly my kids, they're all that really matters, and she's the one that did the cheating. I see them every other weekend now if I'm lucky.

It's very important right now that you think with a clear head. The decisions you make now about you and her are going to affect you for a very, very long time. You don't want to be spending the rest of your life wondering if she's cheating on you. And you will wonder. It will never go away, no matter how much you two work on it or try to get over this. Even when married couples that have been together forever decide to get over an affair and stay together and work it out, there is always doubt there. That's because when she decided to **** that guy, she decided to throw what you two had away. There is no trust anymore, and there never will be. You can fake it, you can lie to yourself and say you're giving her another chance, but the trust is gone my friend. I'm really very sorry this happened to you, this is the kind of stuff that changes people sometimes forever.

Run. As fast as you can. In the opposite direction from her. And don't look back.


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## Mister Spirit (Mar 28, 2013)

Go out with your friends, go for a long drive, go listen to some loud music (or quiet music), go take a breather outside, have a smoke, have a drink, do whatever to get your mind off the situation. You'll get over it eventually, but it's different for everyone. Some people take a while. Others take only two weeks. How long did it take for you to get over your ex? Anyway, sorry to hear what happened. I feel for you. That's the kind of thing that makes me reluctant about women too. Unfaithfulness. I know it doesn't apply to all, but if one goes through a series of tantamount results, it gets harder to trust a potential future girlfriend again.


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## ToeSnails (Jul 23, 2013)

Persephone The Dread said:


> I've heard that a few times too you know, but not sure I've personally experienced it. I also heard that being on the pill negates that? Anyway, I seriously doubt the effects would be so pronounced they'd make someone incapable of controlling themselves. Would just be pointless speculation really.


I never said she's incapable of controlling herself, I was merely wondering if she was biologically influenced.

Of course, darwinism should not excuse her actions, as her (I believe frontal cortex ) should withstand short term temptations like that, for the long term benefits.

It might indeed be pointless speculation, but nothing wrong with that, as long as it interests me. Hence why I asked.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

ToeSnails said:


> I never said she's incapable of controlling herself, I was merely wondering if she was biologically influenced.
> 
> Of course, darwinism should not excuse her actions, as her (I believe frontal cortex ) should withstand short term temptations like that, for the long term benefits.
> 
> It might indeed be pointless speculation, but nothing wrong with that, as long as it interests me. Hence why I asked.


I know, was just saying. It is interesting but now might not be the best time/thread


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## Johana (Feb 3, 2014)

Echoo said:


> I have met the most wonderful girl these last 6 months


I'm so sorry this happened to you  But at least you realized she wasn't that wonderful after just 6 months. Some people spend decades with the wrong person.


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## yourfavestoner (Jan 14, 2010)

Never contact her again in any way shape or form. Ever, she's out.


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## ToeSnails (Jul 23, 2013)

Persephone The Dread said:


> I know, was just saying. It is interesting but now might not be the best time/thread


Well maybe. 
I just found it might be interesting to spice up this thread with some analysis of the situation.


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## SOME (Jul 13, 2009)

damn dude I give you props for not resorting to violence...


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

That's awful man. 

I would move on if I were you.


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## prettyful (Mar 14, 2013)

That's creepy you have keys to someone else's apartment after only knowing them for 6 months.


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## alienbird (Apr 9, 2010)

The way this story is written makes me question its validity (I'm a skeptic, what can I say), but if it is true... I'm terribly sorry and you need to break up with this girl. She is obviously not as amazing as you thought.  I don't understand cheaters... selfish, selfish people. That is one thing that I couldn't forgive.



prettyful said:


> That's creepy you have keys to someone else's apartment after only knowing them for 6 months.


I don't see how it's creepy, if she gave him the keys. Some couples move in together before the 6 month period. o.o 
It's a bit fast, but some people move faster than others in relationships. :stu


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## hybridmoments (Feb 24, 2014)

sorry to say it but leave that b**** !!! she doesn't deserve your forgiveness or you anymore.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Grand said:


> The way this story is written makes me question its validity (I'm a skeptic, what can I say), but if it is true... I'm terribly sorry and you need to break up with this girl. She is obviously not as amazing as you thought.  I don't understand cheaters... selfish, selfish people. That is one thing that I couldn't forgive.


The title alone makes me think this is a troll thread. :no


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

Delete her from your phone and don't look back.

She's not even worth crying over.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Just reading this makes me feel










If you guys were truly in a relationship, then she's a shallow, worthless *****. Just know that in the end, if she's a cheater, then it's better it happened sooner rather than later.


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## GameOverMan (Mar 11, 2013)

I couldn't imagine that happening to me, I would flip out. I definitely wouldn't want to talk to her either. Reading stuff like this makes me hate life :um


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

brooke_brigham said:


> I was gonna say that the detail of this story makes me seriously question the authenticity of it., I'm surprised OP didn't describe the strangers _ _ _ _. :no


Yes, thank you!!! I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking this.OP's language in his OP has a somewhat literary tone.

OP: how did you manage to take away so much detail? It seems like you would have been so distraught that wouldn't have been able to think clearly stay composed enough to pay that much attention. Why didn't you go inside and pick a fight.She is/was YOUR gf!


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

Grand said:


> I don't understand cheaters... selfish, selfish people. That is one thing that I couldn't...


It's not that complicated.Sex can produce an amazing high.There are so many physically and psychologically attractive people out there it can be hard to be monogamous no matter HOW MUCH a person wants to....


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## alienbird (Apr 9, 2010)

the collector said:


> It's not that complicated.Sex can produce an amazing high.There are so many physically and psychologically attractive people out there it can be hard to be monogamous no matter HOW MUCH a person wants to....


Yeah... I don't understand. One person is enough for me. I couldn't live with myself knowing I had betrayed the trust of the person I love in such an extreme way. If you can't do monogamy, don't get into a monogamous relationship.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

the collector said:


> It's not that complicated.Sex can produce an amazing high.There are so many physically and psychologically attractive people out there it can be hard to be monogamous no matter HOW MUCH a person wants to....


and yet people insist on getting into relationships...

I can understand if monogamy is not someone's thing, or if they have an open relationship...but if it has been clearly communicated that the relationship is exclusive, then it's just beyond ****ed up to betray someone like that. It's amazing that cheating is so prevalant. Just break up with the person, my ****ing god.

I know I'm not at the point where I would want to be in a relationship...so I don't get into one. People like to have their cake and eat it too and they don't give a flying **** about what the other person thinks about it.

**** *** *** ***** *** ******!


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## Bert Reynolds (Dec 18, 2013)

Unfortunately us people with SA are much more prone to these types of things. Makes me not even want a girlfriend for as long as I have SA, even if I were able to get one by some rare phenomenon.


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

I've been in your shoes and the only advice I have for you is to do anything in your power to erase her from your mind. She does not exist and never has. Convincing yourself of this is the only way you'll ever move on. Block her number, and avoid her in person. If you can't avoid her, then pretend you never met her.

When I had this happen to me I nearly went to prison over the broad. Trust me, no woman is worth throwing your life away.

Women who make these types of hedonistic choices tend to lead vapid and degenerate lives and any semblance of happiness they have will deteriorate throughout the years until they eventually die unhappy, unloved, and alone.

You win in the end.


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## Apoc Revolution (Dec 2, 2013)

_That's horrible... She has never cared about you, otherwise she wouldn't even consider cheating. It's so selfish, it's disgusting. This is a prime example of why you just can't trust people, no matter how perfect they may seem. If this would ever happen to me, I'd be emotionally scarred and would probably prefer to stay single. The thought of someone possibly betraying you yet again... I would lose my mind._


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Let's be completely rational about this - I know it's an emotional subject but I think this is the best approach to take right now. You've known this person for 6 months, it's not a long term relationship/marriage so there's no pressing need for 2nd chances or to work things out. 

In fact, because she has cheated so early on, you just can't trust her from this point onwards. It's just not possible. Maybe at some stage in the future, she will mature enough as a person that she wouldn't even consider doing this to someone she's in a relationship with. Heck maybe this whole episode will be the catalyst for this personal development. 

But that's only going to happen if you cut ties now bud, block her number, stop all communication and move on. Yes that's right, the only possible good that will happen from all this relies upon you having enough character and will power to give her the boot. What ever you do don't be weak minded, accepting her cheating sends a clear message that you are a chump and that you don't have the self esteem and conviction to draw a line under what is acceptable and what is not. 

The ball is in your court now OP. Are you going to enable her behaviour or are you going to move on and find someone that actually deserves to be in a relationship with you.


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

Leave her for good. You don't deserve this BS.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

ToeSnails said:


> Is It roughly her time of the month?


I am not sure if that would make any difference in this case. :stu


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

rymo said:


> and yet people insist on getting into relationships...
> 
> I can understand if monogamy is not someone's thing, or if they have an open relationship...but if it has been clearly communicated that the relationship is exclusive, then it's just beyond ****ed up to betray someone like that. It's amazing that cheating is so prevalant. Just break up with the person, my ****ing god.
> 
> ...


Exactly.....the healthier YOU are, the healthier the relationships will be!
If that means not being in a relationship, more power to you.

This girl obviously has some issues if she went for the first muscular dude. That's messed up. She could end up a mother, too!


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## CEB32 (Mar 6, 2014)

the collector said:


> It's not that complicated.Sex can produce an amazing high.There are so many physically and psychologically attractive people out there it can be hard to be monogamous no matter HOW MUCH a person wants to....


Its only hard if youre a ****ty human being or in the wrong relationship. There is no excuse for cheating. If it is hard then what you have is wrong or you have no self control or morales.

As for the OP, if it is genuine then talk to her, get it out of your system and move on to someone who doesnt part her legs on command


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## cmed (Oct 17, 2009)

Ouch. Jesus. I hope you get through this alright.


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

Grand said:


> If you can't do monogamy, don't get into a monogamous relationship.





rymo said:


> and yet people insist on getting into relationships...
> 
> I can understand if monogamy is not someone's thing, or if they have an open relationship...but if it has been clearly communicated that the relationship is exclusive, then it's just beyond ****ed up to betray someone like that. It's amazing that cheating is so prevalant. Just break up with the person, my ****ing god.





CEB32 said:


> Its only hard if youre a ****ty human being or in the wrong relationship. There is no excuse for cheating. If it is hard then what you have is wrong or you have no self control or morales.


Some people want to be monagomous.And CAN...but make mistakes..No one is perfect.I can understand that not everyone who cheats does it because they don't care about their significant other.If a person is on a diet but there are some delicious cookies in front of them it can be hard to resist.I'm not saying there is an excuse to cheat.I'm just saying people are fallible and not everyone has the same degree of self control in sexual matters.


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## CEB32 (Mar 6, 2014)

the collector said:


> If a person is on a diet but there are some delicious cookies in front of them it can be hard to resist.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Dump her and move on.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

the collector said:


> If a person is on a diet but there are some delicious cookies in front of them it can be hard to resist.I'm not saying there is an excuse to cheat.I'm just saying people are fallible and not everyone has the same degree of self control in sexual matters.





CEB32 said:


>


"You can't HAVE mah milk n' cookies!"











cmed said:


> Ouch. Jesus. I hope you get through this alright.


HA! Just wanted to make sure someone in the 2012 TinyChat Crew saw this one!!! :boogie :boogie :boogie


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## Wacky Wednesdays (Apr 10, 2011)

Grand said:


> The way this story is written makes me question its validity (I'm a skeptic, what can I say), but if it is true... I'm terribly sorry and you need to break up with this girl. She is obviously not as amazing as you thought.  I don't understand cheaters... selfish, selfish people. That is one thing that I couldn't forgive.
> 
> I don't see how it's creepy, if she gave him the keys. Some couples move in together before the 6 month period. o.o
> It's a bit fast, but some people move faster than others in relationships. :stu


I agree, the story sounds a bit too hollywood; life is sometimes stranger than fiction  :blank

My bf moved in with me after 3 months of dating but we worked together/were acquaintances for over a year prior.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Penetration was too dirty of a word for SAS?


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## Wacky Wednesdays (Apr 10, 2011)

^This forum is a bit too PC for my liking. Even the title of this thread... couldn't it have read: Saw my gf having *sex* :/

OT: I wish you all the best OP. Your situation is the stuff relationship nightmares are made of.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

komorikun said:


> Penetration was too dirty of a word for SAS?


Hmmm...not sure what this "penetrations" means??? Can u pls describe? Video would be helpful...


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

crimeclub said:


> Been there, and I feel for you. Just hearing that you've been cheated on is a s*** storm, but actually walking in on it is a total mind-f***.


I agree. It's one thing to get cheated on but it's a different matter entirely to actually walk in on it and see it with your own eyes. That image would burn into your mind.

I don't know what to say to you OP. Hopefully that ugly memory will fade over time.

At least you learned the truth. That ugly scene was the truth. However painful it may be the truth is always good. It has set you free.

(Now go find that a-hole's girlfriend, seduce her and send him the video  )

This post reminds me of the heartbreaking scene in "The Last American Virgin." This scene always makes me a little teary eyed


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## Imaverage (Feb 25, 2014)

**** her
wow what a *****
just stop thinking about it and let her rot in hell alone


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

the collector said:


> Some people want to be monagomous.And CAN...but make mistakes..No one is perfect.I can understand that not everyone who cheats does it because they don't care about their significant other.If a person is on a diet but there are some delicious cookies in front of them it can be hard to resist.I'm not saying there is an excuse to cheat.I'm just saying people are fallible and not everyone has the same degree of self control in sexual matters.


You're right, and it's truly sad that it's hard to find people who have a sliver of self-control when it comes to being faithful. But seriously, diet and cookies is the absolute worst comparison to this subject...EVER. It's not even in the same universe as ****ed up to cheat on a diet by having a few cookies.


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

rymo said:


> You're right, and it's truly sad that it's hard to find people who have a sliver of self-control when it comes to being faithful. But seriously, diet and cookies is the absolute worst comparison to this subject...EVER. It's not even in the same universe as ****ed up to cheat on a diet by having a few cookies.


But he has a point. Staying on a diet is more difficult for some than others. Just as being faithful is harder for some than others. Some people cheat because they have are immoral and dishonest. Others cheat because they lack self-control. Either way you should dump them. It's not like they can learn self-control over night.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

AngelClare said:


> But he has a point. Staying on a diet is more difficult for some than others. Just as being faithful is harder for some than others. Some people cheat because they have are immoral and dishonest. Others cheat because they lack self-control. Either way you should dump them. It's not like they can learn self-control over night.


A diet you're only disappointing yourself, your decision to cheat only affects your body, nobody else's. Cheating affects you _and_ your partner. In fact, it would probably affect your partner much more than it would affect you, and it could affect their family if you were close and the family trusted you too, or if you were introduced to their children's life, etc. It would have a larger effect than just you eating a cookie while on Atkins. Still not a good metaphor. Like others have said, if you have self-control with faithfulness, then don't make vows or promises of faith.


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## pati (Aug 15, 2012)

I feel sick just reading this. I was cheated on and found out in a really terrible way. I screamed and cried for the longest time. I'm still ****ed up from that. If I had actually seen it... I don't even know. 

If I can help, lemme know.


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## Meehan (Jan 2, 2014)

just because some cheats doesnt mean they deserve to be alone, or go to hell. people are people they **** up, yea its really ****ty to cheat but everyone does really ****ty things to each other.


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## ForeverInBloom (Oct 4, 2010)

I'm sorry to hear you went through this. Forget her, and move on. It's the best you can do.

Just remember, this too shall pass.


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

Barette said:


> A diet you're only disappointing yourself, your decision to cheat only affects your body, nobody else's.


Cheaters don't believe they will get caught. In their minds, the other person will never find out. The other person doesn't enter into the equation in their minds.

Once they are caught, they are sorry, they will cry a river of tears and you will clearly see they genuinely mean it. But they lack self control and they'll do it again.

Another example is gambling. A man may know that if he gambles again his wife said she will leave him. He loves his wife but maybe he lacks the self-control to overcome his gambling impulses. He may be a good person in all other areas of his life.

That's why it's best to dump anyone who cheats on you. Either they lack self-control where it comes to monogamy or they lack a conscience. Both types will most likely cheat again.

I just hope the OP doesn't fall for the river of tears BS.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

Sexual intercourse doesn't have the same zing as penetration.

Censorship overload.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

the collector said:


> Some people want to be monagomous.And CAN...but make mistakes..No one is perfect.I can understand that not everyone who cheats does it because they don't care about their significant other.If a person is on a diet but there are some delicious cookies in front of them it can be hard to resist.I'm not saying there is an excuse to cheat.I'm just saying people are fallible and not everyone has the same degree of self control in sexual matters.


You don't mistakenly fall into someone and then back out of them.


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

I am very sorry, I can not imagine the heartbreak you might be going through right now. Dealing with this will not be easy, but I suggest doing your best to talk about it with someone in person and find some girls to surround yourself with (to keep your mind off her)... You are not alone and it'd be best to get it all out ASAP.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

Wacky Wednesdays said:


> Even the title of this thread... couldn't it have read: Saw my gf having *sex*


That actually sounds better. Now please stay on topic, everyone. Thanks.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

Cheating seems kind of difficult when I think about it. Cheating isn't as simple as accidentally dropping an antique glass. It takes a lot of work to cheat. Fake numbers, lying, finding places to have sex and not get caught, more lying. Hell even meeting up in the first place looks hard.


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## Terranaut (Jul 11, 2013)

I haven't read anyone else's responses. My advice though is if she is desperate to explain, let her stay that way and never look back. You have found out all you need to know. I'm sorry for your trauma. It has to hurt in that you cared for her that much and witnessed that. You can't undo it. You CAN set yourself up for another dose though by excusing it. This is something that will leave a deep scar and part of it is that you betrayed yourself by letting yourself fall for someone uncommitted and possibly undeserving. You might want to see a shrink if this plays in your head too much. You have to detach from it and move on. And how long that takes is up to you. I would not talk to her. Don't let her off the hook.


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

Jesuszilla said:


> Cheating seems kind of difficult when I think about it. Cheating isn't as simple as accidentally dropping an antique glass. It takes a lot of work to cheat. Fake numbers, lying, finding places to have sex and not get caught, more lying. Hell even meeting up in the first place looks hard.


Yea, serial cheating has got to be difficult. But, just being in the wrong place at the wrong time for temptation can make it easy to do.


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## Terranaut (Jul 11, 2013)

brooke_brigham said:


> I was gonna say that the detail of this story makes me seriously question the authenticity of it., I'm surprised OP didn't describe the strangers _ _ _ _. :no


Surprised or disappointed?


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Waiting for an update... will OP deliver?


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

You gotta do , what you gotta do, just have a cold shower and stroke it while crying. 

Then move on.


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## Lacking Serotonin (Nov 18, 2012)

Dump her body in the woods.


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## rambo (Nov 14, 2010)

Yea iknow iknow it hurt. Sry that happened bruh... Any updates?


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## AlchemyFire (Mar 4, 2013)

Sacrieur said:


> You don't mistakenly fall into someone and then back out of them.


Yeah, really. I don't get why people can say it's a 'mistake' or 'accident'. It's a conscious decision people make. They're only trying to make themselves feel less guilty by saying things like that.


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## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

No one is perfect no, but if I invest in a relationship with a girl with the expectation of monogamy or at least respect and communication, and found this, I would punt that floozy dog on a first down and make a field goal. You can't surprise somebody like that. There is too much you can sacrifice for someone without them realizing it, or without them having the courage to tell you they don't want it, like raising a damn child. You are free now and you can do and you can find someone else.


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## Stray Bullet (Feb 21, 2014)

This thread made my already big phobia of relationships enormous, so thanks for that.

But I have to commend female members of this forum. If this was posted anywhere else there would be bunch of women saying **** like "If you have been cheated on, you must've deserved it ".


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## General Specific (Mar 4, 2008)

That's really awful man, sorry to hear. Cheaters suck..


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## tieffers (Jan 26, 2013)

I didn't think it was TMI. You have to expect subject matter like that when you click on a thread title like this. And the added detail was relevant to how especially crushed OP is.

And holy hell, this story is just a nightmare. I'm so sorry, my god. This is truly awful. I really hope you have someone to talk to.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

That's pretty bad. If this happened to me I'd be sitting in a jail cell for murder right now. Which is why I should never get into a relationship.


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## lonelyjew (Jan 20, 2010)

**** her. I wouldn't answer her calls or texts. Cut her out of your life. IMO there is no place for a relationship to go after something like that. You'll be pissed and upset, but it'll pass. Honestly, as much as it doesn't seem this way, and as much as you wish it didn't happen, you're better off without a selfish **** like her in the long run. Her seeming perfect was just puppy love, you looking at her in the most ideal way, sucks that you got a huge dose of the scag she is in real life the way you did, but you saw her for who she truly was. 

I got cheated on by my first GF, and after the anger passed, I realized how flawed she was (morally speaking as well as being incredibly annoying - the kind of girl you never bring around your friends).


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## Wulfgar (Aug 23, 2013)

as big daddy kane would say; "She's just a mark *** trick anyway"


Sometimes when I need to put things in perspective, I think to myself: What would Big Daddy Kane do?


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## Sagacious (Jun 29, 2010)

Yeah as others said, don't listen to her and don't contact her. Just imagine how much worse you would feel if you forgave her and she did it again?

This might not make you feel better, but I've noticed that the people who cheat usually do not cheat because of the person they are currently with, but because once they rationalize it they don't feel bad about it anymore and will do it to anyone.

Same as you might get someone who you would expect to be a cheater, but in their minds they don't rationalize it so they never cheat on anyone.


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## Lazarusx (Apr 14, 2013)

That is really unfortunate, my sympathies.

However, what you do next is very important.

Do not forgive her no matter how much she cries, shows remorse or attempts to explain why she did it or how it happened, because the moment you forgive her she will lose respect for you as a man.. she won't see this as compassion but rather weakness, and she will take advantage of that weakness time and time again in the future..

I would avoid contact, but if you need to.. firmly state that its over, and walk away. You will only suffer more and be further humiliated if you allow her back into your life.

I know from experience.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

I don't get why people think this is bs because he said he was screaming and crying (but is able to write this with much detail. Maybe at the time of writing he calmed down.

I'd have joined in on the action.. jk. 

I'd have just gone out and ****ed a bunch of different women to nurse my ego and confidence back to health.


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## Rickets (May 5, 2014)

Disregard. Delete on phone. Ignore texts and block. Don't even entertain the idea talking to her again.


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

Topic is pretty old, guys.


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## Ywasi (May 22, 2014)

Hmm. A lot of people said to not get into contact with her. To me that feels... cowardly. And dramatic. I'd say tell her off.


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

Ywasi said:


> Hmm. A lot of people said to not get into contact with her. To me that feels... cowardly. And dramatic. I'd say tell her off.


Cowardly is giving a **** about her and letting your emotions get the best of you and giving her the satisfaction of seeing you hurt


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## Ywasi (May 22, 2014)

CowGoMoo said:


> Cowardly is giving a **** about her and letting your emotions get the best of you and giving her the satisfaction of seeing you hurt


Emotions getting the best of you? Bro, humans are emotional creatures. Being hurt and angry is a real response to being betrayed. Burying your emotions is an artificial way to distance yourself from pain. Deal with it like an adult. Cry, scream, then go yell at her for being a terrible person. Get it over with in a few weeks rather than swallowing your feelings and becoming traumatized.

On second thought I likely have no idea what I'm talking about. I got no experience, so I shouldn't be trying to give advice.


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## Randomguy555 (Apr 26, 2014)

If the OP is still around I hope you're doing better. I'm surprised nobody else picked up on it, but this is the second time you've had an ex cheat on you. OP I would seriously think about the type of girls you're attracting and you're attracted to because I have a feeling that you're ignoring some serious red flags.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

All I can say is not only does this issue reflect on the girlfriend, but also where the OP is in terms of his own identity.

The better we see ourselves, the better our choices of company we keep.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

:lol


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

mezzoforte said:


> :lol


 :spit


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## Sagacious (Jun 29, 2010)

millenniumman75 said:


> All I can say is not only does this issue reflect on the girlfriend, but also where the OP is in terms of his own identity.
> 
> The better we see ourselves, the better our choices of company we keep.


Unfortunately for a lot of people that doesn't mean better self esteem will make them be around 'better' people, but more likely mean they'll be forced to be alone because only scum type of people like OP's ex will be drawn to them.
As a result even if they don't have low self esteem, it seems better to be around that type of people rather than no one, but it's really better to be alone if that's you.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Sagacious said:


> Unfortunately for a lot of people that doesn't mean better self esteem will make them be around 'better' people, but* more likely mean they'll be forced to be alone because only scum type of people like OP's ex will be drawn to them.
> *As a result even if they don't have low self esteem, it seems better to be around that type of people rather than no one, but it's really better to be alone if that's you.


 His self-esteem would guard him from going to far with the scum.


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## LolaViola (Jun 23, 2013)

That is awful. Just awful.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

Mokusei said:


> this is the second time you've had an ex cheat on you. OP I would seriously think about the type of girls you're attracting and you're attracted to because I have a feeling that you're ignoring some serious red flags.


I know someone who has been cheated on by all of her past boyfriends. All four of them. I'm thinking bar/clubs are not the ideal place to get a partner (if that's the place he got her).


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## donzen (May 13, 2014)

I'm sorry bro.
You might want to avoid girls like her next time.


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## bloodymary (Apr 26, 2009)

Hm always when I read threads polygamy vs monogamy, most people´s opinon is that polygamy is normal and natural. That it´s natural for people (especially males) to have sex with many partners. At the same time when someone is cheating on them they go crazy.


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## jsmith92 (Dec 30, 2013)

Forget girls they suck. I give up.


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## Laith (Mar 20, 2009)

Written like someone who gets off on that sort of thing. The OP probably had his pants down around his ankles furiously stroking while writing that and reading the responses.


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## Echoo (Oct 29, 2012)

I lied about this story, I just wanted some attention, sorry.


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## In a Lonely Place (Mar 26, 2012)

lol


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