# Forgot how to talk???



## pattybird (Apr 21, 2010)

I have severe SA and as of lately, I am SO self-conscious about what I say...how I say it that I seem to forget how to speak properly...... I mega analyze everything I say and/or I am about to say... not sure if my grammar is right, that type of thing. I get so anxious, I trip on my words...mumble... I am so depressed because this is getting in the way of everything. Does this happen to anyone else or am I going nuts?:afr


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

welcome to SAS 

this was a very common problem for me in the past... around people i would barely talk so over time i just didn't have any practice and as a result when i spoke i would mess up with my sentences, my grammar, i'd mix up words, stumble on them, mispronounce some, etc. it was really bad, but overtime i think i always tried to get myself to speak louder and slowly and it helped somewhat. i still struggle with making conversation but i think focusing on pacing myself when speaking really help. as well as feeling rested and alert.


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## cmr (Apr 8, 2010)

This is also a big problem for me. When I have to talk to people, I feel out of breath and like my throat is closing up. My mind goes blank and I end up not saying much because I don't know what to say and I don't want to look stupid. I also have a very low voice which becomes lower when I'm nervous, and so I worry that people will not understand or hear what I said. Blah, it really sucks!


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## Glo (Sep 16, 2004)

pattybird said:


> I have severe SA and as of lately, I am SO self-conscious about what I say...how I say it that I seem to forget how to speak properly...... I mega analyze everything I say and/or I am about to say... not sure if my grammar is right, that type of thing. I get so anxious, I trip on my words...mumble... I am so depressed because this is getting in the way of everything. Does this happen to anyone else or am I going nuts?:afr


You're far from nuts, pattybird. =) I believe this is a very common part of SA. I used to be exactly the same way for many years. I used to be afraid to say anything to anyone because I thought they would think what I said was '' stupid '' or made no sense. My SA was so bad that I remember when I was 18 - my old childhood friend wanted to hang out with me... Well, after hanging out about twice he literally said to me - wow man, you've been inside too long or something. That made me feel so horrible but I couldn't blame him for saying that because we would hang out for about 3 hours and I would say maybe 10 words or less tops. Thankfully we used to just drive around whenever we hung out and listen to music, because if it wasn't for that, I would have been in a really bad situation.

I could really only have a convo with my father which usually consisted of me repeating the same 4 or 5 words over and over. Normally would just agree with whatever story he would tell me, something like that. I absolutely dreaded meeting new people or being forced to go out in public where being social is the " norm ". So I basically isolated myself in my bedroom for the better part of five years. It became my safe-haven as when I was there all I had to deal with was my mental anguish -- not having to talk to ppl.

You can overcome this illness. It just takes time and a change of mindset. Soon you'll realize all this over-analyzing is totally pointless and people will accept whatever you say - regardless of how dumb you may think they will perceive it as... They won't think it's dumb and they would rather have you say something instead of nothing... Trust me on that one... I've learned that the hard way... =)

~ Matt


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