# Why do people hate being told what to do?



## Omgblood (Jun 30, 2010)

I've been thinking about this lately. I can understand two things: one, to_ do_ something would mean to exert effort, then two, being at the will of someone else; one's egoism is being penetrated. The other person _feels_ their strength through this.

To ask further, there are situations where one is okay with being told what to do, and some that aren't. Also to add in, there are certain tones and certain _people_ that can change the overall effect.

What are reasons for this, who do/or don't you like taking orders from and most importantly why?


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## mb47 (Sep 30, 2013)

I believe it is ego that drives this disdain for orders. It is a direct threat to any dominance or independence we may believe ourselves to have.

Circumstances Where Orders Are Best Received:
-in competitions/games with time constraints
-in emergencies
-in tutoring type circumstances where you are at the mercy of another person's knowledge

Who I am Fine Take Orders From:
-people who are more suited to the task at hand than I am
-people whose judgement I respect
-natural authority figures (my parents, professors, policemen, etc.) most of the time

It really depends on the context. If I don't like you, giving me a command will just make me dislike you more. I find it also matters how the command is phrased. People in general are much more tolerant of requests than commands.


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## IAmDisappoint (Oct 9, 2013)

From the book "How to Win Friends & Influence People_" _By Dale Carnegie:
_
"I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people," said
Schwab, "the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the
best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.
There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as
criticisms from superiors. I never criticize any-one. I believe in giving
a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loath to
find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish
in my praise."

_The biggest mistake we make in influencing people is criticizing them. People thirst for greatness and approval; you can't force someone to do something until you make them want to do it.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Why do people like to tell other people what to do?


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## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

It's all about the ego. Being told what to do can be belittling.



IAmDisappoint said:


> From the book "How to Win Friends & Influence People_" _By Dale Carnegie:
> _
> "I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people," said
> Schwab, "the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the
> ...


A wise man ahs spoken.


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

It's taking away a very basic function of ours...the ability to make a decision. As to say, "you're not capable of making this decision, so I will make it for you." Being made to feel that way by someone else isn't pleasing...as said in the above posts.


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## Omgblood (Jun 30, 2010)

mb47 said:


> I believe it is ego that drives this disdain for orders. It is a direct threat to any dominance or independence we may believe ourselves to have.
> 
> Circumstances Where Orders Are Best Received:
> -in competitions/games with time constraints
> ...


Thank you. Insightful.

Time to meditate on all these responses. I'm trying to understand this feeling from _all_ angles. From the inside, outside, observers, retrospectively, historically, introspectively, outward, in times of crisis, culturally, morally, religiously, ones own temperament, in vain, authoritatively - exposing all facet as much as possible, until there's nothing left to say


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I don't know. Even simple stuff will make people get a look on their face like you took a crap on carpet. I tried to tell previous roommates that they were recycling incorrectly but they just seemed annoyed when I said it. I wasn't even telling them what to do, just sort of advising them.

I get annoyed when people who have no idea what they are talking about or what the reality of the situation is try to tell me what to do.


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## QueenBee (Sep 18, 2014)

* It gets on my nerves. I absolutely hate people nagging me- especially when I decide I'm going to do something then they ask me to do it! Grrrr I hate it*


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