# Would you be okay with someone cheating on you?



## Stilla (May 13, 2009)

Someone told me they wouldn't care if the person they were with cheated on them. I guess it just makes me think that if you don't care if the person cheats... then you must not really care about or really love that person. Because if you love someone you don't want to share them.

Any thoughts?


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## mdiada (Jun 18, 2012)

If I didnt care then it wouldnt be a relationship anyway.


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## Secretaz (Sep 10, 2011)

I would never forgive it.


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## louiselouisa (Jul 12, 2012)

Of course not

Eta: people who think it's okay usually want to avoid any argument or the end result mo


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## penguin runner (Apr 28, 2010)

I know I wouldn't be okay with it at all. I don't think anyone would be 'okay' with cheating. Cheating is wrong and no one should be cheated on. There are many reasons/excuses to cheat, but none of them are acceptable.

But I know I could forgive them for what they did and try to move on if they were really sorry and wouldn't do it again. And that's the key. They can't just say they are sorry. They have to actually feel sorry and know what they did was wrong. And there is no way to be sure they actually feel this way. But you'd just have to hope that they have changed. Forgiving does not mean you are condoning them. It means you know they did wrong and are saying you'll give them another chance.

And this may be a little biased coming from someone that has cheated not once, but twice. But has realized how horrible and disgusting what I have done was. Not all people cheat for the same reason, and aren't horrible people. They've just done horrible things and sometimes they want to show they've changed.


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## WaddleDee (Aug 29, 2012)

I can't believe anyone would say that.


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## Christian S (Aug 2, 2012)

I'd be devastated.


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## Stilla (May 13, 2009)

I have a follow up question if anyone's interested in answering. :b 
What would you think would be the most damaging to you/hurt the most choosing from these two scenarios? 

1. The person you love cheats on you.
2. People find out that you cheated on someone.


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## MiMiK (Aug 25, 2011)

Secretaz said:


> I would never forgive it.


:ditto


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## Tania I (Jul 22, 2012)

What's cheating?
1. is it when you feel admiration or crush towards other people than your partner?
2. is it when you flirts or share flirty words or gestures? 
3. is it when you regret you're being with your partner while someone else you're attracted to around?
4. is it when you do abc's with other person?
5. when the partner using porn, fictional character, fantasy or other stimuli to please themselves? with or without you?
6. other

Everyone's definition is different.
For me it's 3 and 4. 
5 if they fantasizes about real people.

So far my answer is no. 
I haven't met someone mend the cheat so amazingly i'd forgive it. 

The 2nd question, it's 1. 
I've never cheat, hopefully not in the future, and if i grow crush to another person, i'll admit it to my partner and see where it goes from there.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

I would see if we could still work things out (especially if married).


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## Mithun (Sep 25, 2008)

feels bad for few days and then would be okay to carry on with life. One can't easily control deviating mind.


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## G i r l (Jul 30, 2012)

I have a friend who stayed with her partner after he cheated, they have a child together so I guess she was considering her daughter more than herself. I couldn't stay in a relationship after being cheated on, I would never trust him again, no matter how "sorry" he was.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

One incident of cheating and I know that that person isn't worth my time. Zero tolerance policy. If we were married w/ kids then special consideration has to be taken, but I'm not sure exactly what I would do there.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

It's never really a black-and-white thing, these matters are complicated. Especially after years of being together and kids being involved.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

srschirm said:


> It's never really a black-and-white thing, these matters are complicated. Especially after years of being together and kids being involved.


With kids the consequences aren't black and white, but as far as I'm concerned the act itself is pretty straightforward. That person isn't mature or doesn't love you enough to do the right thing. Relationships always have rough spots, but if the person resorted to cheating instead of working through that rough spot then he or she is not worthy of a serious, loving relationship (with me, anyway). I've never cheated and never will so I would expect the same from my partner, and if it did happen that would be it (again, kids would potentially change the outcome, but that's another story).


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## SoWrongItsRight (May 9, 2012)

Absolutely not. Id leave them in a heartbeat


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## Luna Sea (Apr 4, 2012)

If you don't care about it then it's not really cheating; it's just an open relationship (maybe with a "don't ask/don't tell" caveat).

And no, I would not be okay with it. I'd almost certainly break up with them immediately, and I'd expect the same if I did that.


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## Emu (Sep 13, 2012)

My exboyfriend cheated on me with his ex. We broke up and now they're back together. So...I despise cheaters. You're always going to question their motives and you're going to have trust issues.


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

No. Why would I want to date a *****?


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

rymo said:


> With kids the consequences aren't black and white, but as far as I'm concerned the act itself is pretty straightforward. That person isn't mature or doesn't love you enough to do the right thing. Relationships always have rough spots, but if the person resorted to cheating instead of working through that rough spot then he or she is not worthy of a serious, loving relationship (with me, anyway). I've never cheated and never will so I would expect the same from my partner, and if it did happen that would be it (again, kids would potentially change the outcome, but that's another story).


I understand your point of view. It's certainly not an acceptable thing, but perhaps a forgivable thing for me.


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## Whatev (Feb 6, 2012)

No it wouldn't be okay, I don't play those little games. It'd be done. 

For the second part, it would hurt more if she cheated. If I love someone I put my all in the relationship and to know the other person was unfaithful it would be devastating. If for whatever reason I ever did cheat I would tell my partner right after. Not going to play any games, waste more of her time and keep that secret for who knows how long and let the guilt eat me up inside. I'd say heartbreak is worse than guilt.


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## River In The Mountain (Jun 6, 2011)

It's something I would find extremely difficult to handle. It would hurt me on such a deep level that I don't think things could ever go back to the way they used to be. If I was in love with him, I would try to make things work, but in no way would I be able to give on the same level I would have done before he cheated.


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## LoneLioness (Nov 16, 2003)

No, I wouldn't still be with someone who cheated on me, because you can't be with someone whos dead.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

LoneLioness said:


> No, I wouldn't still be with someone who cheated on me, because you can't be with someone whos dead.


LOL :boogie


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## ImWeird (Apr 26, 2010)

I think that I'd try to forgive them depending on the circumstances (if I loved them a lot a lot), but it would most likely fall apart afterwords. I just wouldn't be able to love them the same and I probably wouldn't even be able to look at them in the face. Trust is a very hard thing to build back up.


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## blue the puppy (Jul 23, 2011)

absolutely not!


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## mooncake (Jan 29, 2008)

No, definitely not. Their having cheated would say a lot about how much love and respect they had for me. Even _if_ they were genuinely extremely sorry and I somehow could know that it would never happen again, I still wouldn't be prepared to stay with them. I just would not be able to forget and to move on from it. The relationship would be irreparably damaged.

In answer to the follow-up Q, I think it's definitely more hurtful/damaging to be cheated on than to feel shame from having people know you cheated. The latter you only brought on yourself, so I sort of think well, if it sucks then perhaps you deserve that and should have thought before you acted. The person who was cheated on has to deal with the humiliation of it, plus the feelings of betrayal and heartbreak, which must be just awful.


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## pineapplebun (Oct 25, 2011)

I think that's really messed up to not care if someone cheats on you - you either must not like the person to begin with to even care or you completely lack any self-respect. 

Anyways of the two, it hurts way more to be cheated on. I would not take the person back; I don't care how rough the relationship got, there is absolutely no justification for cheating. Leave if you're not happy or be a grown up and work things out. Even though leaving me would break my heart, I would at least respect you for respecting me by remaining faithful. I would never trust that person again. I don't deserve to live every day questioning their motives or their words, it's not fair to me or them. I would only forgive so I can be free. 

I've heard of similar stories where the other partner tries to get 'even' by cheating back, which I think is really stupid because why the hell would you waste anymore energy on someone who clearly demonstrated that they're too selfish to give a damn about how you feel, let alone respect for your relationship. You're better off getting 'even' by moving on, happily without them. I've also had a friend that said she'd cheat on her boyfriend/husband because he's going to anyways. I was a bit baffled and asked her "What if he doesn't cheat on you? Why would you assume that? Then you ruined a perfectly good relationship."


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## Lonelygirl1986 (Sep 4, 2012)

read my past posts lol


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## Yabiwaz (Sep 28, 2012)

I'd normally say that I'd leave them flat out but in all honesty I think I would keep giving them "another chance" before I became so torn and destroyed that they leave me instead.


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## xstrongandsilentx (Jul 17, 2010)

No dice!


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

F NO! Chick cheats on me she gets a time out in the torture chamber. <--oh, that unintentionally sounded sexual.

I chose "No" but really it depends. If the relationship was early by my standards she's a failure that doesn't deserve to be in my presence. If we were married or something, I would judge whether or not we could work things out. Either way she's forgiven..but the circumstances determine whether or not she gets a second chance. Soooo for the most part NO.

People make mistakes so she may break my heart or what have you..my extra manly steel heart..but eventually I would probably forgive her and try to forget about her insolence, so she may live.



Stilla said:


> I have a follow up question if anyone's interested in answering. :b
> What would you think would be the most damaging to you/hurt the most choosing from these two scenarios?
> 
> 1. The person you love cheats on you.
> 2. People find out that you cheated on someone.


#1 definitely. Even if #2 did happen I would feel terrible because of the fact that I cheated, not that people outside the relationship found out.

I would feel even more terrible if my girl found out. I don't want to break someone's heart like that. But still, #1 would probably hurt more.


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## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

Never


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## leave me alone (Apr 1, 2011)

99% of the time I'd say "no". There is a small chance I could forgive the person, under the certain circumstances.


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

I've almost gone to prison over it.


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## Suffer Little Children (Sep 13, 2012)

No, I wouldn't be OK with it. It's a violation of trust. The only circumstance in which I'd be OK with it would be if it were an "open relationship," but then I guess it wouldn't be considered cheating.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

depends on what you mean by being "okay with it". 

I think I've finally made peace with people being....human. human beings are by nature inconstant. chances are high that people will cheat on each other, for various reasons. Also, people change as they grow older. YOu won't be the same person at 49 that you were at 20, etc. 

so in that respect, I'd be okay with it. but I'd also know that the relationship would be over for me. Even if I had kids, I'd do my best to work out some kind of arrangement that was as free as possible from enmity and tension. Now, if that didn't work out, it'd be because of the other person, and I'd help my kids deal with that as best I can. 

You can't control what another person does, but there are times when you have to draw a line, it is up to you to decide what your tolerance level is. 

I've worked hard at letting go and moving on. I'm pretty sure I could accept that what happened isn't necessarily a direct reflection of my worth, that I could let go and move on with the rest of my life. I *think* this is the thing that most people who've been cheated on struggle with.


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

leonardess said:


> depends on what you mean by being "okay with it".
> 
> I think I've finally made peace with people being....human. human beings are by nature inconstant. chances are high that people will cheat on each other, for various reasons. Also, people change as they grow older. YOu won't be the same person at 49 that you were at 20, etc.
> 
> ...


I wish I had your understanding. The two times I've been cheated on, I've wanted to kill them.


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## Luka92 (Dec 13, 2011)

No way.


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

No.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

Rainbat said:


> I wish I had your understanding. The two times I've been cheated on, I've wanted to kill them.


with great understanding comes great power. 

i did not come by it easily. I have been cheated on a couple of times, and I had an online dalliance once which was considered cheating. which it was. anything that one does which one does not want the other to know about, is cheating. doesn't sound like much, but each couple is different and each person comes to a relationship with their own frame of reference, their own history or lack thereof, their own experiences, and their own perceptions.

I've been married and divorced four times. the first time around, I lost pretty much everything, including (almost) the will to live. for various reasons, I did not understand much for the first 40-ish years of my life. As a result, I have had to do a lot of thinking. I now think I know what love is supposed to be - I at least have a working definition which feels right to me. I feel that I now *could* love the right person if I met them, however unlikely I believe that to be, age considerations and all. I could really, really love the right person, with as much as I have in me.

Even with all that, I would still recognize that person as someone with their own free will, to do with as they choose. I cannot foretell, I can only hope, with all I have. So, if i recognize that fact, I can go into any relationship with full knowledge of what I'm getting into, and decide that it is worth the risk.

Should the person I love decide that they want to sleep with another, fall in love with someone else, become infatuated, etc etc, I can only acknowledge that I have been on both sides of that fence - been the blamer and the blamee.

I have spent many, many wasted years holding onto the anger and resentment and bad feeling toward what happened in that first marriage. I can tell you it is not worth hanging on to those feelings, nor is it worth letting past experience color your present. It doesn't hurt to be cautious, because each relationship is a learning experience, but it does not do to let the past prejudice or jeopardize your future, whomever that may be shared with.

And, you must accept that bad things can happen again. that goes for whatever you get involved with. If you can't, you may as well hole up in your home and never leave. that's just the way it is when you live life.


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## Twelve Keyz (Aug 28, 2011)

no

but honestly, they should just legalize polygamy. Or eliminate marriage. Things would be so much easier :stu. I can't imagine spending my life with one person.


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## MoonlightSky (Mar 24, 2012)

Yep, I'd definitely give them a second chance as everybody deserves that.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

MoonlightSky said:


> Yep, I'd definitely give them a second chance as everybody deserves that.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

Twelve Keyz said:


> no
> 
> but honestly, they should just legalize polygamy. Or eliminate marriage. Things would be so much easier :stu. I can't imagine spending my life with one person.


that's no ****. everything's back *** wards. it should be extremely difficult to get married and easy to get divorced.

it should be extremely difficult to get pregnant but very easy to give birth.

things would change in a nanosecond for everyone.

oh, and men should be able to get pregnant - with difficulty of course. and they should go through menopause for 5 years.

we'd all be living in a perfect or at least much better world then.


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## Twelve Keyz (Aug 28, 2011)

leonardess said:


> that's no ****. everything's back *** wards. it should be extremely difficult to get married and easy to get divorced.
> 
> it should be extremely difficult to get pregnant but very easy to give birth.
> 
> ...


whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on a minute there...


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Those people may deserve a second chance, just not with me.


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

I am one of those weird, messed up people who voted yes  It's not an unqualified yes, though.

I guess it would depend on why she cheated. I guess I'd feel hurt and betrayed if I thought she didn't love me anymore, and in that case I'd want to end it, but if I believed she still loved me and didn't want to leave me, I just don't see myself getting upset just because she loved someone else too, assuming I thought he was good for her. Besides, the idea of my partner being physically intimate with another guy is... kind of a turn-on for me ops To be fair, I could totally see myself in an open relationship (open on her end, and on mine if she genuinely wanted that).

Maybe it's because I have never been in love with someone who loved me back? Maybe it's because my parents' relationship was extremely abusive? :stu I don't know, but I hope it doesn't mean I'm incapable of real love... that would hurt


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

I don't think I could ever be okay with that.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

For me it would come down to their lack of respect of me, and there is no way in hell I would be with someone who did not respect me, that would be incredibly weak.


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

Elad said:


> They are lying..


I'm not :blank


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## MindOverMood (Dec 12, 2009)

I do not forgive and I do not forget.


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

Elad said:


> Have you been in a relationship with someone you cared about and had them cheat on you? and I mean in terms of being okay with it, not the could you work it out.


No, I haven't. I explained that in my post.

Have you ever stuffed potato chips up your nose? If not, how do you know you wouldn't enjoy it?


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

Dissonant said:


> No, I haven't. I explained that in my post.
> 
> Have you ever stuffed potato chips up your nose? If not, how do you know you wouldn't enjoy it?


No point arguing, until it actually happens you really cant be sure how you'll react/feel when it comes to attachment and cheating because emotions are too unpredictable.


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

Elad said:


> No point arguing, until it happens you really cant be sure how you'll react when it comes to attachment and betrayal because emotions are too unpredictable.


Point taken, but is it at least _possible_ that I'd react the way I think I would? I'm sorry for being flip with you (I was actually editing my post when I got the email saying you'd quoted me), but I don't like being accused of lying about my own feelings, even imagined ones. Still, I apologize.


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## MollyAmins (Sep 25, 2012)

My ideal relationship would be open on both ends, so that cheating wouldn't even be possible. Nice to bypass that little issue.


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

Elad said:


> It was me being a bit flippant with my lying post, its all good!  Hopefully you do react the way you think because most people(me included) think we have it figured out and then when it actually happens the emotions we were questioning or not expecting hit like a ton of bricks.


:yes Understood. Maybe I am just being naive.  I hope I never find out. And my condolences to you on your pain, past and present, and likewise to all those who have been cheated on in this thread :squeeze


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## NoMoreSAD2013 (Jun 11, 2012)

In my view cheating doesnt exist. To me its like liking more than one song. You can also like more than one person. Maybe you find an attribute about one person great, and then a totally different attribute great in another person. I believe in multiple relationships. To me mono relationships just go against everything that is human. In my opinion its jealousy not the other person doing actual wrong. but if you get into a relationship knowing you like multiple,the n you are at fault.if anything if you arent enjoying a relationship,just leave.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

Indeed. I'd much rather beat both involved peoples over the head with a shovel, especially if it was someone I loved. If you loved someone you wouldn't cheat on them... *shoots*


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

**** no. That would tear my heart apart.


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

Dissonant said:


> Point taken, but is it at least _possible_ that I'd react the way I think I would? I'm sorry for being flip with you (I was actually editing my post when I got the email saying you'd quoted me), but I don't like being accused of lying about my own feelings, even imagined ones. Still, I apologize.


Anything is possible. That's besides the point.

Jealousy is real. Of course there are people who enter a contract of understanding where they **** other people, but this is understood before hand. I think the real pain of cheating is the violation of trust. For example, a man in a polygamous relationship could be said to have cheated on his wives if he ****ed someone outside of the marriage(s)


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

87wayz said:


> Anything is possible. That's besides the point.
> 
> Jealousy is real. Of course there are people who enter a contract of understanding where they **** other people, but this is understood before hand. I think the real pain of cheating is the violation of trust. For example, a man in a polygamous relationship could be said to have cheated on his wives if he ****ed someone outside of the marriage(s)


I see. Maybe I'll understand when I feel I can trust someone to love me


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## Xtraneous (Oct 18, 2011)

No.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

girl cheated on me once years ago..... She begged, I loved her, so I gave her another chance but said she will have to rebuild my trust.

After a while she was sick of me not trusting her and ended it.

In future if anyone cheats its over for good


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I would not be okay with it but if I were depending on them financially then I might not leave them.


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## godhelpme2 (Apr 4, 2012)

today, I told my boyfriend everything. Things are so f*cked up right now I want to literally vanish into thin air. My advice to anyone who want to cheat, don't f*cking do it. If you are a good person, it will tear you to pieces.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

godhelpme2 said:


> today, I told my boyfriend everything. Things are so f*cked up right now I want to literally vanish into thin air. My advice to anyone who want to cheat, don't f*cking do it. If you are a good person, it will tear you to pieces.


 :hug: care to share?


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

srschirm said:


> :hug: care to share?


^It's none of your damn business^ Being that I caused someone else to cheat, it would be wrong of me to vote no.


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## Schizoidas (May 11, 2012)

el oh el


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

komorikun said:


> I would not be okay with it but if I were depending on them financially then I might not leave them.


Sounds like a gold digger. Why dont you support yourself financially? We are no longer in the dark ages. People who say women belong in the kitchen are sexist because women claim they can do exactly what men can do, but is there really still women who rely on men for money and would stay with them until it runs out?


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## Brtrev2v (Sep 17, 2012)

Stilla said:


> Someone told me they wouldn't care if the person they were with cheated on them. I guess it just makes me think that if you don't care if the person cheats... then you must not really care about or really love that person. Because if you love someone you don't want to share them.
> 
> Any thoughts?


I'm in a open relationship right now.. It's really very complicated, he's a cheater, and I'm one of those people who cannot talk to someone every single day.. I have mood swings. I do love him, but this is the only way both of us will be happy.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

Women will usually cheat if it makes them feel good about themselves (IE: With a famous actor, a highly desired man).


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## melissa75 (Feb 16, 2010)

No. I already have low confidence. I'd end up resenting that person so much that I couldn't stand to be around them, anyway.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

I wouldn't be okay with it, but I don't know if it'd be a cause for breaking up. I'd like to think that if he was honest about it we could work it out. I'd also be willing to try an open relationship.
The issue I have with cheating is the betrayal, not the sex itself. I'd be more pissed if he took a girl to see a movie I've been asking him to take me than if he went down on some girl at a bar.



godhelpme2 said:


> today, I told my boyfriend everything. Things are so f*cked up right now I want to literally vanish into thin air. My advice to anyone who want to cheat, don't f*cking do it. If you are a good person, it will tear you to pieces.


Aren't you Miss I-don't-want-my-boyfriend-to-watch-porn?


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## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

Depends on the nature of the relationship. Though, I've always wondered why it's a bad thing for people to be in love with many people. Like why does love have to be restricted to just 1 person to 1 other person and the reality is that that's the way society has been structured and set as traditional. I guess it's also a way to help stop the spread of disease sexual or otherwise. I've always wondered what it would be like if people were just allowed to love whoever they want and not just be restricted to the 1 person. Love can be for all, it does not just have to be for one person. Love is a feeling, it's unquantifiable. Why is it wrong for a guy to love her, her, her and her and for a girl to love him, him, him and him? Why this restriction to just 1 person? Honestly makes no sense when you really think about it, other than it's basically law. Why does the law even care who or how many someone loves?


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

I answered yes...

I am quite the masochist it seems. :yes


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

pete24 said:


> Sounds like a gold digger. Why dont you support yourself financially? We are no longer in the dark ages. People who say women belong in the kitchen are sexist because women claim they can do exactly what men can do, but is there really still women who rely on men for money and would stay with them until it runs out?


I'm not a gold digger, not that there is anything wrong with gold digging. But as you know it's not often easy to keep/find a job with social anxiety, so sometimes you end up relying on people. Don't you live with your mom or rely on her financially? Maybe you shouldn't be such a leech......and move out.

Anyways if a guy is a cheater he deserves to sucked dry financially.


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## DESTINYLOVE1900 (Sep 16, 2012)

Hell **** no!


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## Moongirlie (Jan 1, 2012)

I could never imagine cheating on someone I am in love with. I have never done it. Although, my relationships didn't really last long enough for me to truly use them as a test of my propensity not to cheat. 

Either way, i have a very idealistic view of relationships and being in love and if someone were to cheat on me while were in love, it would be tantamount to finding out that Santa didn't exist when I was 5, so I would be crushed and really not sure how to deal with it.

If we had kids, I would definitely not jump to any decisions without considering them, but if not, I couldn't promise that I wouldn't be so disheartened that Id probably begin packing my things and move out, without even giving the other person a chance to "explain." Because really, any "explanations" in this case, would seem like BS to me. The most I would want is an apology...but you can't really "explain" cheating. If you could possibly explain it, then it would mean that I already knew our relationship was failing and this came as no surprise to me.


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## silicone93 (Jul 19, 2012)

Absolutely not.

That said, I felt like I was forced to tell a white lie (by changing my relationship status on Facebook), my girlfriend's was already set to single, to protect her from my past.

She didn't take it well and now she won't talk to me and she can't tell me that she loves me. We are now separated but I don't know if we're over.

I've never dreamed of cheating on her, and it would be difficult for me to because of the way I work.


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

No way! There's a big chance that if a person has cheated once they are liekly to do it again. Could you be with someone and live happily ever after knowing that they willingly cheated on you with no regards to your feelings? I don't think so.

It's funny how cheaters are only ''sorry'' when they get found out.


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## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

komorikun said:


> I'm not a gold digger, *not that there is anything wrong with gold digging. *But as you know it's not often easy to keep/find a job with social anxiety, so sometimes you end up relying on people. Don't you live with your mom or rely on her financially? Maybe you shouldn't be such a leech......and move out.
> 
> Anyways if a guy is a cheater he deserves to sucked dry financially.


Yes, yes there is.


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## 50piecesteve (Feb 28, 2012)

me and my girlfriend have an open relationship ive cheated a handful of times and im sure she has


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## bg09 (Aug 14, 2012)

lol what kind of question even is this? who the fuk would say yes?


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## elvin jones (Dec 12, 2011)

falling down said:


> Yes, yes there is.


Rofl at that poor trolling. It's perfectly acceptable to steal money from men but don't you dare have your mother help you out. It's okay when women do it.


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## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

elvin jones said:


> Rofl at that poor trolling. It's perfectly acceptable to steal money from men but don't you dare have your mother help you out. It's okay when women do it.


What?

EDIT: oh wait, nvm :lol


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## bg09 (Aug 14, 2012)

50piecesteve said:


> me and my girlfriend have an open relationship ive cheated a handful of times and im sure she has


thats different though, you guys agree that its okay to be with different people from the start, my friend is in an 'open relationship' with a pornstar lmao 
i just cant see how something like that can be taken seriously


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

50piecesteve said:


> me and my girlfriend have an open relationship ive cheated a handful of times and im sure she has


Then it's not cheating.


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

ThatOneQuietGuy said:


> Being that I caused someone else to cheat, it would be wrong of me to vote no.


How do you cause someone to cheat?


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## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

Peter Attis said:


> How do you cause someone to cheat?


Ask calichick.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

elvin jones said:


> Rofl at that poor trolling. It's perfectly acceptable to steal money from men but don't you dare have your mother help you out. It's okay when women do it.


I was trying to use his logic. Somehow it's okay to sponge off your parents but sponging off your husband is not okay.

I still don't see anything wrong with gold-digging. Usually it's a sort of exchange. The guy gets to date someone he wouldn't normally be able to date otherwise. looks/youth/beauty/superb personality in exchange for money


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## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

California girls appear to be all screwed up.


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## bg09 (Aug 14, 2012)

falling down said:


> California girls appear to be all screwed up.


 meh :/


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Nope


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

falling down said:


> California girls appear to be all screwed up.


-.-


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## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

RawrJessiRawr said:


> -.-


except for rawr


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

falling down said:


> except for rawr


:boogie


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## Steve123 (Sep 13, 2009)

No, absolutely unforgivable full stop.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Only if we were in an open relationship.


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## John316C (May 1, 2011)

NO


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## Arumin (Sep 12, 2012)

bg09 said:


> lol what kind of question even is this? who the fuk would say yes?


I agree. Only a cheater themselves could agree to that statement.


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## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

RawrJessiRawr said:


> :boogie


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## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

No. I would want to give her a second chance but ultimately I wouldn't handle it and it would ruin everything.


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## Visionary (Apr 13, 2010)

No


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## identitycrisis (Sep 18, 2011)

Hell no I wouldn't be ok with it. I need to be able to trust you if I'm going to be in a relationship with you, and cheating will lose you that trust instantly.


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## Toppington (Oct 26, 2011)

I think you'd have to have absolutely zero self respect to be okay with it. Just my opinion, but there's absolutely no way I would ever tolerate it. No matter how good or far along the relationship was. There's no excuse even close to good enough for that in my mind. You could argue that I'm young and don't know what I'm on about, but that's one opinion of mine that will never ever change. I know that much.


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## CrimsonTrigger (Jun 28, 2011)

Would I be okay with someone cheating on me?

Would I be okay with someone who stuck a knife in my heart?

But the thing is that relationships are complicated. I know jack because I have never been in a relationship, but I do here what others say. I have been mistreated in other ways and I've come to the conclusion that if someone says they will never do it again, chances are they will do it again.

In cases of being cheated on, it's just best to pack your bags and move on. There are cases where the relationship can continue if *both* partners are willing to work very hard at reestablishing their trust, but cases like that are rare. Personally, I wouldn't bother.


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## MaxPower (May 1, 2012)

I wouldn't rule out not being with someone just because they cheated, it depends on the situation, but I will not be a doormat.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I can tell you this...if we committed to each other, and it was my first relationship, the fact that she cheated would be heartbreaking to me. Cheat on someone with relationship anxiety already, and you've got an even more bitter and disillusioned person.


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## DiceOfDiscord (Sep 9, 2012)

I know I would care, I've actually had this happen to me before. The only difference was I wasn't offered a chance to give forgiveness, he left me for the chick he cheated on me with. I'm a pretty forgiving person though, and given the chance and depending on how long we'd been dating or married, I know I could probably forgive just about anything once. To happen more than once though...no.


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## CWe (Mar 7, 2010)

Yes!

such a thrill


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## apx24 (Jan 31, 2012)

Hell to the no, if a girl cheated on me the relationship would be over


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## mesmerize (Oct 19, 2012)

no,cheaters dont deserve anything from mee


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

No. If he gets out of the door non-harmed he is lucky.


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## Lacking Serotonin (Nov 18, 2012)

No I wouldn't. That's an odd question, and I hate cheaters, just break up damn..


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## kast (Nov 22, 2012)

I feel like this question needs some clarification on the definition of cheating...
There is no universal definition of cheating and it all depends on what is agreed upon by the individuals within a relationship. If you break that trust, then you've cheated.

Some couples think it's cheating to have friends of the opposite sex, note that someone else is attractive, or watch porn. Some couples think it's cute if they lust after celebrities or innocently flirt with others. Other couples might be fine with their partner kissing someone or having sex, as in open relationships and polyamorous relationships.

Did that friend of yours actually say "I wouldn't care if my partner cheated" or did they say something along the lines of "I wouldn't care if my partner kissed someone else"? Maybe they're in an open relationship and you didn't realise.

There's no way I'd accept my partner cheating on me if we'd agreed on monogamy. But I might be able to see myself in a polyamorous situation with the right people, so in that case I wouldn't care as long as everyone involved is honest and communicating.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

No, I couldn't handle it. :blank

I would have to leave before it psychologically destroys me.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

No, i'd break up with that person immediately. I don't know anyone who would be okay with that.


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## Lonelygirl1986 (Sep 4, 2012)

Break up with them, I still talk to the guy who cheated on me we're friends now it was so long ago it doesn't bother me. If someone isn't bothered about the person cheating on them that is normally called an open relationship.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

If you don't care if someone cheats on you, then that's just an open relationship. 

If it was something where I cared about the person and wanted something serious, I'd prob feel bad about myself and that'd be the end of that.


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

No. It would show that the person is a liar, and cannot be trusted at all. It would also mean that the relationship is a lie and therefore its already over because it never existed in the first place.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

From what I can gather, about 20% have cheated on their current partner and about 40% have on a partner at some point. 10% of us even have different biological fathers than who we believe it to be.
I'm not trying to condone cheating, but I think it's hard to avoid entirely.
And while none of us want to get cheated on and know well that cheating is hurtful, studies show that most of us will willingly try to make somebody else cheat with us under the right circumstances.

I wouldn't be okay with somebody cheating on me, but there could be circumstances and conditions where it didn't have to mean the end of the relationship.


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## xstrongandsilentx (Jul 17, 2010)

does it make a diff if your partner kisses someone else or have sex with someone else? Would you try to work it out if it was just a kiss or would you kick them to the curb on either accounts? I would prob break it off if either happened but if it was just a kiss then maybe i can reconcile but that would be very tough.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

No I wouldn't be okay with it.
I really can't think of any other way that you could hurt your partner more.


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## Melon (Nov 25, 2012)

Utterly betrayed, humiliated and most importantly, disappointed with myself for dating someone like that, I should of predicted it a long time go and probably deserve it for being gullible.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

I'd be infuriated and very upset. When you care about someone why would you want to hurt them by cheating on them?


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

Can I answer I don't know? I would love to say "No I respect myself too much" But in reality I have seen far too many people forgive their partners, and I've never been "in love" so I'm not sure I think on principal I would not accept it but, in reality who knows... being in love makes you irrational!


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## Flame Sixtyone (Aug 27, 2009)

Absolutely not :eek


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

The title of this thread kills me.


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