# Asked a girl for her number



## Jimbow1995 (Jul 27, 2010)

And got rejected :/

I feel so terrible, I've been crying since it happened about 1hr ago. I asked her it online as I haven't even got the guts to talk to her in person. We have talked alot online. I felt she was starting to like me/ just like me as a friend. 

So after like 20mins shaking I finally got the guts to send 'could I have your number please? U can have mine( then some embarrassed face thing)'. To witch she replied 'i don't think there's anypoint'. I replied back ' Ahh ok :/ and why not?'. She said back 'cuz I'm getting a new number soon'. I said back ' ow ok I was gunna say merry Christmas to you on chritmas day' to whitch she replied' :/' then I said 'could I have your new number when you get it and if not I don't mind' and she replies ' it matters if I get a new number'.

I just get this feeling that these are excuses and she was trying to let me down nicely. But it didn't work:/. 

I've liked her for over 2 years now and I'm just so much in love with her. I can't stop crying now and I feel physically sick and have no idea what to do.

What do you think? And what did I do wrong? I just feel utterly worthless and I feel there must be something wrong with me. I know she doesn't keep her number to only a few people as I've seen her name in many of my friends phones that don't even like her more than a little friendly.


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## Recipe For Disaster (Jun 8, 2010)

we cant tell you what you did wrong because chances are it goes back further than this one instance. i mean, if she liked you, i doubt she would have declined to give you her number because of how you asked. 

however, for future reference at least, it might have helped to ask her for her number in a more confident manner. like say "hey what's your phone #?". the way you asked sounds weak and submissive. adding that she can have yours was dumb too. that pretty much goes without saying if you're asking for her number. 

the way you talked to her is really indicative of lack of confidence in yourself and that could be why she is not attracted to you (i obviously don't know your history with her, so i am just speculating here). but why say stuff like "if not i don't mind" when you asked for her new number? you obviously do mind. instead, you should go in with the attitude of "who wouldn't want to give me their number and if anyone doesn't, there must be something wrong with them". that way even if she says no, you can act like it's her loss.


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## Jimbow1995 (Jul 27, 2010)

Recipe For Disaster said:


> we cant tell you what you did wrong because chances are it goes back further than this one instance. i mean, if she liked you, i doubt she would have declined to give you her number because of how you asked.
> 
> however, for future reference at least, it might have helped to ask her for her number in a more confident manner. like say "hey what's your phone #?". the way you asked sounds weak and submissive. adding that she can have yours was dumb too. that pretty much goes without saying if you're asking for her number.
> 
> the way you talked to her is really indicative of lack of confidence in yourself and that could be why she is not attracted to you (i obviously don't know your history with her, so i am just speculating here). but why say stuff like "if not i don't mind" when you asked for her new number? you obviously do mind. instead, you should go in with the attitude of "who wouldn't want to give me their number and if anyone doesn't, there must be something wrong with them". that way even if she says no, you can act like it's her loss.


I guess I paniced and didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable/ make things awkward that's why I put I don't mind if you say no and things. I asked it like that because I don't have any confidence and yes you a right I never talked to her in person ( well I've said a few mumbled words) and I know I must come across as unconfident because thats what I'm like. I can't help being unconfident, I try my best to look confident but I just can't do it. I was always told to be myself around girls and people so that's sorta what I do. I don't actually understand why girls find unconfident guys unattractive as it make me no less of a man.

I'm just rambling now really. I just feel so hopeless.


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

Man, don't beat yourself up.

She's just a girl! (no disrespect at all girls)

Maybe if you were in a better place and then asked her, or a different girl you'd get a better response!

Don't give up man, just keep working on yourself and the rest will follow.


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## tutliputli (Feb 22, 2009)

^ I agree, try not to feel so bad about it :squeeze I feel for you cos I take things just as hard and rejection really does suck but there're plenty more fish in the sea. You did the hardest thing which was asking for her number in the first place, and that deserves massive congrats in itself. Well done! Perhaps next time it'll work out differently


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

I think you need to move on. I don't think there is anything there, as much as you may hope it will develop. Move on emotionally and talk to her as friends. 

Continue to work on yourself and develop yourself. It takes time.


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## b23d (Dec 10, 2010)

Hey man, it's okay. You're not alone, and in good company! 

As recipe said, we don't really know the background info so we can't give you explanations. Even if we knew, it would still just be speculation and that isn't going to be of much help.

A good thought process is to realize how valuable you are. When you know in your heart that you deserve to be loved, then you will be able to convince others of the same thing. Everyone deserves to be loved; no exceptions.

I've been through the same thing; kind of going through it now. You've gotta realize that no matter how perfect this girl is for you that there are thousands of others who are even better. It feels terrible and in your mind you don't want to admit that... this girl is special to you. Sadly, part of life is moving on. It's much worse to be stuck in your past, because you begin to realize that you're just making yourself worse in the present. If you can take what you learned and apply it, your chances of success with the next girl will be even higher because you know more about yourself and therefore have less to be afraid of.

Anxiety sucks, I know it. It's not impossible to overcome and it shouldn't be a detriment to your confidence. It's very hypocritical of me to be saying these things because I am still working on them myself, but they are just hindrances that you can get across. You managed to ask for her number; that's an accomplishment in itself and something to be proud of. Not every member here can say they've actually managed to get to that step. It's possible though, and if you take things one hurdle at a time you'll make it to your goal.

I kind of rambled too, sorry about that.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

2 years of talking online and she won't even give you a phone number...that's rough. Something is severely wrong with that picture. Are you sure you're even talking to a girl?

You need to move on and find someone who actually want to get to know you. You deserve better.


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## Jimbow1995 (Jul 27, 2010)

Thanks for all the comments it's really good. Keep them coming



Futures said:


> 2 years of talking online and she won't even give you a phone number...that's rough. Something is severely wrong with that picture. Are you sure you're even talking to a girl?
> 
> You need to move on and find someone who actually want to get to know you. You deserve better.


No I haven't been talking to her online for 2 years. I've only been talking to her online for around 6 months now on and off I guess. I've liked her for 2 years but not talked to her.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Jimbow1995 said:


> And got rejected :/
> 
> I feel so terrible, I've been crying since it happened about 1hr ago. I asked her it online as I haven't even got the guts to talk to her in person. We have talked alot online. I felt she was starting to like me/ just like me as a friend.
> 
> ...


You know, this is something that happens all the time to people who date. This is normal.

Here is my advice:

1) Don't wait forever to see if she is romantically interested in you.
2) Know what it is you ultimately want and go for it and if you don't get it accept it and move on as soon as possible even if that means losing contact. Your reason to "get to know her" was beyond friendship. It is OK to accept that she doesn't want the same so why keep talking to her? Nothing wrong with moving on when someone doesn't meet your initial ambition. Don't punish yourself.
3) Accept it as a normal thing.

You think your the only one? Haha, no. I could tell you some stories myself... most people can. I realize you are in a fragile state and may be looking for comfort but comfort won't hide the fact that it is a reality. It is for your own good to accept the reality of dating and trying to date-it ain't pretty, so accept that and don't invest so much energy into something that your not sure will reciprocate what you've put in. That is like selling your house for a lottery ticket and being disappointed that you are now homeless when you lose.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and wiser. You'll be a better man from this experience.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

Jimbow1995 said:


> So after like 20mins shaking I finally got the guts to send 'could I have your number please? U can have mine( then some embarrassed face thing)'. To witch she replied 'i don't think there's anypoint'. I replied back ' Ahh ok :/ and why not?'. She said back 'cuz I'm getting a new number soon'. I said back ' ow ok I was gunna say merry Christmas to you on chritmas day' to whitch she replied' :/' then I said 'could I have your new number when you get it and if not I don't mind' and she replies ' it matters if I get a new number'.
> 
> I just get this feeling that these are excuses and she was trying to let me down nicely. But it didn't work:/ .


I think that's terrible. It's not "letting someone down easy", it's basically dragging the issue out so that she doesn't feel guilt for directly turning someone down.

If I were to approach someone and they wanted to "let me down easy", I'd prefer they be up front and civil about it. Like, "I'm sorry, I don't think that'd be a good idea".



Jimbow1995 said:


> I feel physically sick and have no idea what to do.


Drown your sorrows.



Jimbow1995 said:


> What do you think? And what did I do wrong? I just feel utterly worthless and I feel there must be something wrong with me. I know she doesn't keep her number to only a few people as I've seen her name in many of my friends phones that don't even like her more than a little friendly.


I don't think you did much wrong, so you should stop beating up yourself about it. But then, I'm not a woman and have never approached anybody, so I can't really say for sure if you did anything wrong. I am ignorant of the etiquettes of romantic proposition.


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## ZeroX4 (Feb 25, 2010)

Don't be too down on yourself, man. You tried; that's all you could do in this situation.


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## Paragon (Apr 13, 2010)

Getting obsessed with a girl *before* it actually goes anywhere is completely the wrong way to go about things. I've done it before in the past, yeah it sucks, but only choice is to move on and put it behind you. You'll get over it soon.

bwidger85's advice seems about right.


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## Jimbow1995 (Jul 27, 2010)

Obese all the post and there all good. More are defiantly welcome

It's been almost 24hrs now and I still feel really down and have sat in my room almost all day. I still feel really upset about it as it seemed to be going well and I'm not sure what to do about things anymore?


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## Josh90 (Aug 22, 2008)

Really, I wouldn't get upset about it dude, I've got rejected a couple times before, when you get over it you will think why was I even upset about it.


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## Ambivert (Jan 16, 2010)

I would delete her immediately from my life. You've both got different priorities...she wants a fairweather friend and you want something more. She rejected you so you reject her. Tit for tat. Don't put girls on a pedestal either for next time. Be yourself and not a pushover.


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## Jimbow1995 (Jul 27, 2010)

counterfeit self said:


> I would delete her immediately from my life. You've both got different priorities...she wants a fairweather friend and you want something more. She rejected you so you reject her. Tit for tat. Don't put girls on a pedestal either for next time. Be yourself and not a pushover.


Trust me I've tried in the past to get over her. I've tried probaly 2/3 time in the last year and a half and I've always come back feeling stronger than before. It's like i finnaly feel Ive got over her and I see her and bang, I fall for her again. Or I think I'm getting over her and I see her latest status on facebook and I end up reading her whole facebook page and photos and I can't help it. And I know what you will all say will be delete her from my facebook. Well I'll tell you I've tried but it just doesn't seem right as I'm about to do it. Something deep inside me tells me no. I feel like she's the one for me. I really feel that she will be my first girl. I've tried everything it seems. I've read online articles about getting over girls, I've read websites all about this stuff and even a e-book that had this stuff in within the last like 8months. None of this stuff works. I just feel like she almost my destiny. Prohaps if I keep trying she will give in or like me and fall for me and will live forever together.

Sorry I'm really rambling now I'm just feel really hurt inside I guess


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## LucasM (Dec 2, 2010)

Jimbow1995 said:


> Prohaps if I keep trying she will give in or like me and fall for me and will live forever together.


Sorry bud, but that's not how it works. As much as we would all love that, it just doesn't work that way. She sounds like a b*tch anyways, so it probably isn't worth your time


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## Zuzu (Dec 6, 2010)

just be her friend, and then eventually she'll give you her #
but i wouldn't ask for it again.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

This is exactly why I cannot be forward with girls. I couldn't handle that kind of rejection very well, guess it's why I am single lollin.

Anyway keep your chin up, it's just a small set back which we all face in our lives, guess you just have to learn from it.


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## goldendaze (Dec 26, 2010)

ah, no matter, you'll find a better one soon.
BUT heres something: your questions were incredibly lacking in confidence. i do the same thing (obviously) but all the embarrassed faces and beating around the bush really isnt what she is looking for. i cant say even if you straight up asked her even with confidence she would give it to you but just something to consider.
good luck!


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## Jimbow1995 (Jul 27, 2010)

Sort of an update here,

Well it's been 5/6 days since it happened and I really thourght I would be over it by now. I'm not, there's still apart of me constantly thinking about her and in return reminding me of what happened. I still feel upset about it and I can't let go it seems. When ever I try and stop myself thinking of it, about 1hr if I'm lucky 2hrs I'm thinking about her and it again. It still hurts.

Aswell on chritmas eve she was online again so I said hey and some time later she replied hi (usually she replies quickly). So I put 'you ok?' and she replied again sometime later 'yer thanks'. I then put 'i just want to say have a good christmas' to which she replied 'thanks, you too'. It just felt so awkward I logged of soon after that without saying anything else to her. I feel I destroyed the little amount of friendship we had made. I wish I never asked for it now. I know you will say forget about her move on. I don't want to do this. I want to be atleast friends with her and maybe hope that in the future it will advance (I know this won't happen just wish it could).

I have no idea how I can forget about it? :/ it's really burned into my mind now.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

Do something for you. Also you will be surprised at weird things which happen when you do something. 

I was in a bit of a weird place a couple of weeks ago. and going out and doing my own thing lead to something happening which helped me to process thoughts and move past a couple of things. 

If all you do is sit round upset all you will be is upset.


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## Misanthropic (Jun 25, 2010)

Jimbow1995 said:


> And got rejected :/
> 
> I feel so terrible, I've been crying since it happened about 1hr ago. I asked her it online as I haven't even got the guts to talk to her in person. We have talked alot online. I felt she was starting to like me/ just like me as a friend.
> 
> ...


You're a lot braver than I am. Keep your head up.

Maybe you haven't been rejected, after all, she talks to you online. What's the difference between talking on the phone and talking online? Maybe something is going on in her life that requires all of her attention for the time being?


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## Jimbow1995 (Jul 27, 2010)

All the advice is good but more would be much appreciated. 

To make things more difficult she today made a status on facebook that she got a New phone and camera for christmas. So her excuse seems to be true. But at the moment she made it when I asked her number it seemed so much like a lie and this might just be a coincidence. Even if it wasnt a excuse I still feel rejected as she never said I could have it when she gets her new phone.

I don't think I could ever ask for her number now as the fear she will make a new excuse. Ive just lost all the confidence I had to ask originally.

I'm not sure what to do? What are your opinion on this? Much appreciated.

Sorry for the rant.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

Jimbow1995 said:


> I'm not sure what to do? What are your opinion on this? Much appreciated.


Concentrate elsewhere. She is a lost cause.

The tone of her replies suggested she is not interested. I don't think holding out hope is a good idea.


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## Music Man (Aug 22, 2009)

@Jimbo1995

I don't know your age but I think it may be safe to assume from your name that you are 15?

If the girl is the same age as you, then at 15, this doesn't surprise me. A lot of girls may not really interested in boys in a romantic way yet and also, they don't tend to be that mature and haven't developed ways of responding to boys asking for numbers. They may feel awkward or nervous but immaturity is probably the biggest problem at this age (generally speaking).

I'm 22 and it's surprising how many girls my age at university are still immature!


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

*When ever I try and stop myself thinking of it, about 1hr if I'm lucky 2hrs I'm thinking about her and it again. It still hurts.*

Yeah, and there's your problem right there. You TRY to stop yourself from thinking of her. But you have to think of her in order to stop yourself thinking of her so the whole thing goes round in one massive loop.

And hey, ok, you're upset. You've got a right to process that so if you want to think of her and get upset about it all for a bit and process that stuff then fine. Trying to block that isn't going to work and feelings pass anyway as they move.

People on here have given some great advice. This happens to lots of guys, whether they have SA or not. I happen to be friends with quite a lot of pick up artists (the ones I feel offer something more than bragging about how many women they slept with last night) so, when I get rejected sometimes, I have to stop myself wanting to slap them when they pipe up with the well meaning: "you know, if you'd just done this..." Yeah, I'm not Dr who. I have no time machine.

Right now, it's a bit difficult listening to advice. I get that. You hear some things you could have done and then punish yourself for not doing them and you make yourself feel even worse.

But seriously, take it as a positive when you're ready. You learned some things that will help you.

I'm going to make a wild guess and guess that some of your confidence in yourself is currently dependent on whether this girl likes you or not? If that is the case, that is very dangerous.

This girl could turn out to be a complete and utter cow who isn't good for you in the slightest. Just because she's hot or whatever doesn't automatically make her a nice person. I know. I once got thrown about the place by a very attractive woman who was, nonetheless, a complete cow. She may not be like that but why all this focus on this one girl?

Relationships can come and do come from friendships. Despite what the "friend zone" advocates will have you believe. However, entering into a friendship with the hope of something more in the future is creating a dishonest friendship and it's more likely to blow up in your face than turn out good.

What are you happy with? You want to be friends with this girl and see her date some guy right in front of you? You ok with that or not? Because being a mate to her isn't going to stop her dating if she wants to. Best not to do what I did and think: "I'm not good enough so I'll sit here and be friends and pretend I don't love her". Now, my situation was different in that she was giving massively mixed signals (not just me who thinks that) and we were friends and then I realised I liked her. But it's still explosive. And you need to ask yourself what you are comfortable and happy with.

There's a lot of good stuff out there about validating your reason for asking for her number and other stuff but you're in pain right now and healing so heal, process, think what you're happy with and move on.


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## Jimbow1995 (Jul 27, 2010)

Well in gunna take your advice and just give up and lose all hope.

Well I guess the finnal thing to happen to persuade me just happened on facebook on one of her statuses.

She had a status indicating she was upset/sad about something. So below is how the comments went:

Me: What's up? :/

Her: ahh just people giving mixed signals :/

Me: Ahh ok

Her: :/

Me: You can mail me as well if u want*

--the next day---

Her ex-boyfriend: james just leave her alone mate*

Her: aww ahaa thank

Her ex-boyfriend: Ahh thanks *here for you haha :L

Her: ahaa lmao 

Her ex-boyfriend: ‎ i wonder whats hes gunna put 

Her: lool, bless :L

Her ex-boyfriend: I know :L

Me: What so I'm not aloud to ask her what's wrong? And I'm just trying to be friendly, I only trying to be friends with her nothing else. And Elise if you don't want me to talk to you / ask what's wrong just say and I really don't care :L

Her ex-boyfriend: no james

Her: it was nice that you asked, i was just saying :L

Before I say go on I want to tell you that her and her ex have been over for a year now and supposedly he can't stand her anymore. I know the reason they broke up and it wasn't because he didn't like her and it was him that broke the relationship up.

The first bit showing me that she probaly likes someone else it the bit where she says people have been giving her mixed signals. I really don't think it's me even tho I must come across as this but I really think she's not talking about me.

The second bit is that she never replied about me saying she could inbox me like saying thanks and she never did but this is no surpass to me we not exactly good friends.

Going on when she thanks her ex to basically tell me to **** off.

I'm not sure if I was over defensive or anything with my last comment but I replied like how I felt. I KNOW I lied about only wanting to be her friends as that something I defently don't wanna be anymore and I just want to be more than friends. But I wasn't gonna exactly spurt it all over facebook that I want to be her boyfriend.*

I'm just sorta hurt again after this thing happened on facebook as it gave me a view of how little she likes me. I still like her even after this, I still feel in love with her.*

I dunno what to say really I'm sorta speechless after this.

What are you opinions on what happened? And I think I'm gonna give up on her but do you think that right?

I just so confused, hurt and hopeless after this.

Sorry about how long this was.


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## LucasM (Dec 2, 2010)

Honestly dude, just give it up. She clearly doesn't enjoy your constant attention. I'm sorry, but she just isn't worth your time. I know of a good book which may help you out in your situation. It isn't too long, if you're intetested i can inbox you a link to the online book.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

I am pretty sure all the advice will be move on. Yep easy to say, but hard to do. She has shown very little respect to you on any level and I think you deserve so much better from a friend, and the very fact that you want a relationship with her is a little crazy. Well now it is. I know how it is when you fall for someone, for whatever reason. But if she is treating you in a disrespectful way, well it shows that you deserve so much more from her. She is not worth your time. Lose her email.. delete her from facebook and move on. In a month or two you will be in a much better place mentally and will also be a lot happier. Then you will have the potential to attract and form a friendship or relationship with someone new. It will be tough but it is the best thing for you. It is hard to give yourself up to bind faith. But sometimes it is the best thing to do.


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## Think_For_Yourself (Dec 7, 2010)

You shouldn't have been so nice. Be an A-hole and talk with great confidence and poise, and you'd get her number in a heartbeat. Girls love A-holes who treat them badly.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

ViLLiO said:


> You shouldn't have been so nice. Be an A-hole and talk with great confidence and poise, and you'd get her number in a heartbeat. Girls love A-holes who treat them badly.


Wow bud, that is an awesome story. :clap you have issues.


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## Think_For_Yourself (Dec 7, 2010)

matty said:


> Wow bud, that is an awesome story. :clap you have issues.


I have issues? GET OUTTA' TOWN

However, it's true. Thanks for enjoying my cool story, bro.


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## LucasM (Dec 2, 2010)

matty said:


> Wow bud, that is an awesome story. :clap you have issues.


No, he's actually correct. Women LOVE powerful, arrogant men. It's completley natural. Just think, back when we were cavemen, a woman would choose the biggest, strongest male to mate with. He could offer her protection, and bring home dinner after a long day of hunting. Well, it's the same today (unfortunatley)

Why do you think it is that all the a-holes have the hottest girls, while nice guys like us are all alone?


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

ViLLiO said:


> I have issues? GET OUTTA' TOWN
> 
> However, it's true. Thanks for enjoying my cool story, bro.


Not really the best thing to be telling people. Treating girls like crap is not a great message to be sending. But I agree with the confidence and poise. So maybe he needs to look into working on those aspects of his life and self.

It was a story. Well written and full makes on your creativity.


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

ViLLiO said:


> You shouldn't have been so nice. Be an A-hole and talk with great confidence and poise, and you'd get her number in a heartbeat. Girls love A-holes who treat them badly.


And I'm Father Christmas. Well, I am wearing the hat right now but that's a whole other story.

Not all girls love jerks.
Being a jerk will not automatically lead to her being attracted to you.
There is a huge difference between being confident and being a tit to women.
Being a jerk would not automatically have got anything.

Lucas M wrote:

*No, he's actually correct. Women LOVE powerful, arrogant men. It's completley natural. Just think, back when we were cavemen, a woman would choose the biggest, strongest male to mate with. He could offer her protection, and bring home dinner after a long day of hunting. Well, it's the same today (unfortunatley)

Why do you think it is that all the a-holes have the hottest girls, while nice guys like us are all alone?*

Saying that all the "a-holes" have all the "hottest" girls is making massive, sweeping generalisations. What do you do, go out, see a guy with a girl and assume he must be a jerk to have even got her number? Erm...no, sorry, good guys are out there in relationships and dating.

The so called "jerk" is a stereotype not a person but anyone who does act like that is the furthest thing from confident you could imagine. Abusers are not confident. They are not masterful or masculine come to think of it. Since when was treating someone like crap automatically linked to masculinity?


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## LucasM (Dec 2, 2010)

Well I think OP's situation here is a clear example of how over-kindness will not get the girl, and how nice guys finish last.


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

LucasM said:


> Well I think OP's situation here is a clear example of how over-kindness will not get the girl, and how nice guys finish last.


And that would be your interpretation of what went on. And that's fine. But it's not necessarily accurate. It would be ridiculous to automatically think that, had the OP been some kind of a-hole to the girl in question, she would automatically have fallen head over heels in love with him. Again "nice guys" are stereotypes not people. Enough with the labels. There's very little here to suggest that the OP was "overly kind" or that being so was deterimental to his efforts to get what he wanted. Just because he didn't get the girl doesn't mean he did something wrong. Looking through the whole Facebook conversation thing, I begin to doubt whether the girl in question is a good person but I shouldn't be so quick to make such a judgement. It's just a suspicion.

And again, we are all attracted to different things. I was once out shopping with a friend of mine who'd been in an abusive relationship and some guy tried to pick her up by being an a-hole. She kicked him where the sun doesn't shine. So being or pretending to be an a-hole really isn't automatically going to be the magic ticket with every woman you want. Confidence is not aggression. Aggression serves a master. And if you follow it, you serve that master too. Confidence liberates and illuminates. Masculinity is not aggression.


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## Jimbow1995 (Jul 27, 2010)

I dunno why but for some reason I'm starting to feel sorta angry and annoyed with her for some reason, I have no idea why. There's no reason it seems I just feel annoyed all of a sudden. 

Is this good sign or not?


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

Jimbow1995 said:


> I dunno why but for some reason I'm starting to feel sorta angry and annoyed with her for some reason, I have no idea why. There's no reason it seems I just feel annoyed all of a sudden.
> 
> Is this good sign or not?


I would see it as a sign that she's not the person you thought she was and she may not be worthy of your attention.


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## Jimbow1995 (Jul 27, 2010)

joinmartin said:


> I would see it as a sign that she's not the person you thought she was and she may not be worthy of your attention.


Hope so, really wish this is the point I really start to lose interest in her and forget about her.


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

Jimbow1995 said:


> Hope so, really wish this is the point I really start to lose interest in her and forget about her.


Could well be a turning point in how you view her. Depends on the processing that's going on.


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## LucasM (Dec 2, 2010)

You're feeling different about her because you have finally come to the realization that she is a manipulative b*tch. She isn't worth the effort. I can guarantee you that you'll find a girl 100x better, who feels the same about you. You just gotta keep looking.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

Jimbow1995 said:


> I dunno why but for some reason I'm starting to feel sorta angry and annoyed with her for some reason, I have no idea why. There's no reason it seems I just feel annoyed all of a sudden.
> 
> Is this good sign or not?


Oh no, it definitely isn't a good sign!

See, if you were really nice, you'd accept her decision to reject your proposal, and "value your friendship" over your bitterness at being rejected.

Of course, now the nice thing would be to quietly tuck your tail between your legs and slink away since your offer of continuing the friendship has been turned down as well.

What you must definitely not do is "take your frustration out" on people who reject you.

Hey, why not find someone else and repeat the process??


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## Jimbow1995 (Jul 27, 2010)

I think I'm starting to fall for her again unfortunately and I can't seem to help it.

Like just now she's on msn and I so want to talk to her but I know I can't/ shouldn't and that she wouldn't want me to. I know you said I should of deleted but when I came to try I couldn't bring myself to do it. It was such an achievement when I got it I can't face to delete it. It feels not right to delete it. I don't know why?

Aswell the same with facebook I haven't deleted her of that for the same reason. The problem is every time she updates/ posts something new I can't help but look at it or read it. 

I'm just so furstrated now. I want to give up on her but deep down something keeps bringing me back. I want to let go but can't. Any advice?


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## Timeofallout (Jun 23, 2010)

Obi-Wan Kenobi is telling you to "let go" :b


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## LucasM (Dec 2, 2010)

I think your main problem is how incredibly clingy you come off as (maybe I've been reading your posts wrong, but that is the impression I get) it may come off as a little creepy when you're commenting on EVERY facebook status, and talking to her every time she signs into msn. Try waiting for her to start a convo, that should tell you whether or not she actually enjoys your attention.


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

ZigZagz said:


> Write her a 10 page essay explaining how much you love her, and why she should give you her number. Then post it on facebook. When she sees all the work you put into it, she'll fall in love with you guaranteed.


Funny. Take it from someone who, in his younger days, actually did this, don't do it. Seriously, loads of girls out there.


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## SilentOutcast (Oct 26, 2010)

Jimbow1995 said:


> I think I'm starting to fall for her again unfortunately and I can't seem to help it.
> 
> Like just now she's on msn and I so want to talk to her but I know I can't/ shouldn't and that she wouldn't want me to. I know you said I should of deleted but when I came to try I couldn't bring myself to do it. It was such an achievement when I got it I can't face to delete it. It feels not right to delete it. I don't know why?
> 
> ...


Forget her right now and go find like 20 other women to try to get their phone numbers. Don't focus on just one women at a time.


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## CynicalOptimist (Dec 31, 2010)

Hey,

Sorry to hear this happened to you. It's never easy dealing with situations like that period, but especially if you have SA. Just wanted to let you know that you shouldn't take her reaction personal. 

I don't know the whole story between you two, but although it may seem as though she is much freer with giving out her contact to your friends, you should not assume that she does not like you because she seems hesitant about giving it to you. For all you know, maybe she has feelings for you and is too shy to offer up her # or feels intimidation. Or maybe she's going through a time where she may not feel like dating and if she might suspect you have feelings for her maybe she is scared she might lead you on by offering up her #, if she does not feel comfortable proceeding past friendship at this time. 

I don't know for certain, but I can assure you that she is just one fish out of many in the sea. If nothing comes from that relationship romantically then maybe you two weren't meant to be, but keep in mind that sometimes time has a way of changing the way people feel towards one another. You never know what might happen with you two a few months or even years from now if you hold a strong connection. Good luck and keep faith that you'll find someone for you.


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## Jimbow1995 (Jul 27, 2010)

Thanks for all the posts I'm reading them all.

To make things more confusing she just wished me a happy new year on msn?


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

It doesn't seem like she likes you romantically or even really values you as a friend. She will only take advantage of you if you continue talking to her because the one who likes the other less has the power. You should go out and do something to make yourself happy. Forget about girls right now.


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

Jimbow1995 said:


> Well in gunna take your advice and just give up and lose all hope.
> 
> Well I guess the finnal thing to happen to persuade me just happened on facebook on one of her statuses.
> 
> ...


I'm sorry that you're hurting, but I think this conversation right here is very telling.

For one, I find it a bit disturbing that you are posting a conversation from her FB wall on a public forum. Did you have her permission to do this? Does this not strike you as a bit disrespectful?

Two, you straight up lied to her about your intentions....you didn't have to admit that you wanted more than friendship on her wall, but you also didn't have to lie that you "just wanted to be friends" when clearly you don't.

Three, her ex is telling you to back off, and she is thanking him for doing so. This indicates that you have been way too clingy with her, to the point where it probably made her feel uncomfortable. When you really like someone, it's normal to want to talk to them as much as possible, but you also have to know when to give them their space. Constantly talking to them on MSN and commenting on every FB status update can be a bit much. 
Maybe she didn't want to give you her number because she was afraid that you would start calling and texting her 24/7? There is such a thing as coming on too strong....

If she is still contacting you to wish you "Happy New Year" then it sounds like she still wants to keep a friendship going. But you said yourself that you are not interested in a friendship, only a relationship. So if that's the case then the best thing to do at this point would be to stop talking to her. It is clear at this point that she is not interested in you romantically, and to continue to pretend that you are interested in her friendship in the hopes that she'll suddenly change her mind later down the road would be dishonest on your part.


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