# Are men naturally protective of women??



## dollhouse

*Are men naturally protective of women?*

There have been a few instances in my life where a guy has been protective or offered to help me in a way that makes me question whether they would have bothered had I been male.

Men seem naturally protective of women and I'm curious whether you think this is a biological instinct thing or something that society encourages and teaches them to be. Do men so adamantly insist that they would never hit a girl because they have it drilled into them as children or because the idea of it actually feels wrong and causes them distress? Would you still feel protective towards a woman if she was physically bigger and stronger than you? I find it interesting!

ENLIGHTEN ME.


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## Lisa

Paternalism.


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## Albert11

My husband is very protective and that's something I love about him. Of course he's old 
school and a southern gentleman. He takes being a husband, father and provider seriously -- and I like it! He's what I consider a real man.


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## pita

My dad threw a chunk of ice at my face when I was 8. Not to be mean. Just to have a good time. Hooray! Throwing chunks of ice! What fun.

When I was 12, we were both riding bikes. My dad led me into oncoming traffic. He just wasn't paying attention, pretty much. Everyone honked and I was nearly hit by a car. My dad was pretty oblivious to the whole thing.


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## diamondheart89

My father and brothers are a bit over-protective, although I just come from that kind of culture. I think its mostly a learned thing, although protecting your mate/offspring may be partly natural too.


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## GunnyHighway

I am, or at least try to be. Women are generally smaller and/or less physically strong. (I don't mean that negatively, but it's the truth.) It's just always felt like the right thing for me to do.


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## Cole87

I do it sometimes, not because I think Women are weak or anything. I know they can take care of themselves. It's hard to explain really why Guys do that, it just comes out.


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## Ape in space

I can't speak for any other guys, but I certainly have the instinct to be protective of women. Not in a jealous, overbearing way, but I like to take the traditional 'defender' role. There's something about being a girl's protector that appeals to my primitive Tarzan sense. The idea that I'm responsible for a girl's safety by keeping the dangerous skulking bad guys from harming her using my huge, rippling, testosterone-laden muscles (I may be exaggerating a bit there...) is just thrilling. I hope when (if) I get a girlfriend that she'll be the kind who doesn't mind me taking care of her like this.



dollhouse said:


> Men seem naturally protective of women and I'm curious whether you think this is a biological instinct thing or something that society encourages and teaches them to be. Do men so adamantly insist that they would never hit a girl because they have it drilled into them as children or because the idea of it actually feels wrong and causes them distress? Would you still feel protective towards a woman if she was physically bigger and stronger than you? I find it interesting!


If she were bigger and stronger, I would probably feel emasculated, and feel the protective urge less strongly, but I would still want to protect her if something happened. I just wouldn't feel the same thrill knowing that I'm not the only one who can defend her.

As for hitting a woman, I think for me at least it just feels wrong. It feels wrong to hit guys too because I'm naturally non-violent, but more so when it comes to girls.


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## PickleNose

dollhouse said:


> something that society encourages and teaches them to be.


 Mostly this.



> Do men so adamantly insist that they would never hit a girl because they have it drilled into them as children or because the idea of it actually feels wrong and causes them distress?


 One of the major things that causes most men distress is the thought of being seen in an unfavorable light by women. Hitting a woman for any reason automatically puts a man on the list no man wants to be on. And most men know it. So, naturally, they want to be on the other list. The one every man (or at least every straight man) wants to be on.

Edit - And some men just don't hit people as a general rule so they don't hit women either.


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## Witan

> *Are men naturally protective of women??*


Yes.

/thread :b


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## coeur_brise

Some guys are courteous, but for the most part, they are objective strangers, that is if we're talking about strangers. About personal family, my dad is not protective of anything except probably my mom. And if it is protective, it is extremely irrational... like I can't date anyone or the police will be summoned (when I was younger). I never experienced the whole "protective older brother keeping watch on potential boyfriends" bit. Yeah, so my brother is my keeper, but not really that much of a keeper, if you know what I mean. I do love him, but in terms of personal safety, I'm on my own.


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## Haydsmom2007

because we are delicate little flowers that need protecting.


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## Nathan Talli

I wouldn't help out a female stranger anymore than I would a male stranger. There are too many women that think that a man asking them if they need help = they want to ****. But I've always helped out when I'm "asked" to. As for hitting a woman...... never. My girlfriend always points out when I've been too rough when we are goofing around. I don't even realize that I'm using too much strength until she yells at me! I just forget that we are very different in that area.

As far as "what if the woman was tall and really strong" goes; well women like that are that way for one reason or another that relates with them wanting to be on a strong level. They normally associate with men and want to be one of the guys. So it's only fair that if they start talking smack we should be free to punch her in the sac.


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## Haydsmom2007

But in all seriousness, my boyfriend is very protective of me. I don't know. He loves me.

He is my hero. He's always the person I go to if I ever need anything and he's always the person who I look to for guidance. He has a strong type of personality and he's tall and strong physically. And I'm shy and quiet. It's just how our relationship works. I guess I'm kind of submissive or whatever.


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## Haydsmom2007

And as far as hitting a woman goes... to me it's the same thing as hitting a child. Or hitting a handicap person. Or hitting another man who's half your size. It's not honorable to pick on someone when it's obviously not a fair fight.


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## spacebound_rocketship

My Dad passed away but I have a Godfather and he's really protective over me but he doesn't treat me like a 5 year old if that makes sense.
I think it's cute


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## tlgibson97

I don't know about all men but I am. When a woman can protect herself then she is not likely in distress and not needing protection from someone else. It is the ones that aren't able to protect themselves that I will stand up for. The closer I am to them the more protective I get but I will still defend someone I do not know.


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## Xande

Yeah I think most guys are naturally protective of women.


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## watashi

Social conditioning.


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## CynicalOptimist

Well...I can't say I've had really any experiences that come to mind where a man has exercised protectiveness over me. Not any strangers, nor even my brother who is the only male in my immediate family (single mother). I always wished he was that way though. I feel he has never really seemed to care much about me, especially in the last few years and currently. :roll He's not that family-oriented, and it feels kinda depressing. I hope my eventual bf/husband will be like that though. :yes


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## Atticus

I think social conditioning shapes and strengthens an instinct that's there in many men, though not all obviously.


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## Double Indemnity

I think it is a biological instinct that has been reinforced by society.


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## WalkingDisaster

I'd try and protect anyone I could from a harmful situation, just generally other males might reject being "protected" as I think males have a biological drive to protect females, and to not be protected themselves. I think women are biologically engineered to protect children, and provide care specific to their own children, while men are engineered to protect women and children in general, although perhaps to a lesser degree than a woman would be engineered to protect her children.


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## barczyl

dollhouse said:


> There have been a few instances in my life where a guy has been protective or offered to help me in a way that makes me question whether they would have bothered had I been male.
> 
> Men seem naturally protective of women and I'm curious whether you think this is a biological instinct thing or something that society encourages and teaches them to be. Do men so adamantly insist that they would never hit a girl because they have it drilled into them as children or because the idea of it actually feels wrong and causes them distress? Would you still feel protective towards a woman if she was physically bigger and stronger than you? I find it interesting!
> 
> ENLIGHTEN ME.


It just seems right to protect women, (not that I'm being sexist in saying women are weak or fragile and can't hold their own) but because it was taught to me that women shouldn't be treated unfairly. If they bring it upon themselves, persay knowing the person is violent, or provoking, they should know when to walk away from it all.

I was taught by my father that no matter what happens, don't hit a woman. She's physically abusing you from a fight, just endure it or leave and let her try to cool down. It also feels wrong to hit a woman to me at least, hence why I have never done so. (Well, unless they get off through that but even then it feels odd.)

If a woman is physically bigger and stronger, it doesn't always mean she's going to be able to defend herself or that's she is always willing to defend herself.

Just my opinion.


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## RetroDoll

naturally protective? uh, going with 'no' on this one. see: rape


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## The Silent 1

RetroDoll said:


> naturally protective? uh, going with 'no' on this one. see: rape


I don't see how rape disproves this, especially considering it's not something all men practice. I think men feel a sense of protectiveness towards women from outside forces, rape is usually a way of exerting power and dominance over someone. I think men have a need to be protective, its how they express affection and it makes them feel needed, some of this may be nurture, but not all. In the animal kingdom lots of species of males guard their young and their mother from harm, while going out and hunting on their behalf. I think we have a similar instinct. I also feel it may be an instinct to protect your genes. Because women are the ones that carry babies, men might naturally feel a need to be protective of and I know this sounds incredibly misogynistic, but also exert a certain sense of possession of their wife or gf. They may not think this on purpose, of course, but instinctively as a way of protecting their genes. I also feel women in general have a natural protectiveness towards women, though not all and indeed many can mean and abusive towards children.


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## ReincarnatedRose

You know, this is an interesting topic of conversation.

On the one hand you can definitely see how men would feel protective of certain women (their mothers, sisters, wives, daughters, ect) and yet a lot of the damage done to women in our society is done to them by men. Not only that, but at least in the United States, there is a very heavy culture of misogyny where it is pretty much acceptable to objectify women (in movies, music videos, ect).

So, if men were truly innately protective of women in general (and not just those in their 'family') then one would think that women be safer in our societies. That the statistic of domestic abuse, for example, wouldn't be so high; that women's salaries would be equal to mens; that women wouldn't be never ending sexual objects, continually exploited and objectified by the media and society at large.


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## leonardess

not if my father was any indication.


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## ohgodits2014

Hold on, I'll have to check with all these war rape survivors to see what they think of this question.


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## ReincarnatedRose

RetroDoll said:


> naturally protective? uh, going with 'no' on this one. see: rape


That about sums it up. Though I'd say:

*See*: _Rape statistics, domestic abuse statistics, human trafficking statistics, prostitution statistics, instances of misogyny/objectification in the media of women, numbers on how poorly represented women are in places of power (especially politically), as well as the discrepancies in things like salaries in the work place between men and women._..

If our society really had this ingrained belief of "let's protect our women" then women would be protected. As it stands, women are not naturally protected. We in fact rely on a lot of laws to protect us from discrimination and abuse (most of the time at the hands of men).



leonardess said:


> not if my father was any indication.


*hugs* ...and a resounding, "THIS!!!" ^^


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## The Silent 1

Well like I said men's protectiveness of women may in fact be rooted in a desire to assert power and dominance over them, or in some cases a sense of ownership of them. An abuser may protect his wife from others because he feels he owns her, and then turn right around and mistreat her himself. Also being protective of someone does not imply any desire to treat them as an equal.


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## leonardess

I'd like to live in a society where men aren't expected to be protective of women - but rather where everyone accepted and abided by the rule of law, provided the law is fair.


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## PickleNose

leonardess said:


> but rather where everyone accepted and abided by the rule of law, provided the law is fair.


 The problem is that the instant everyone agrees to accept and abide by the law, that's exactly when the law starts to change from (more or less) benevolent rules we all need in order to make sure people don't harm one another to aggressive, obnoxious, in your face decrees aimed at protecting people from themselves and just plain power grabbing.


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## Later

barczyl said:


> It just seems right to protect women, (not that I'm being sexist in saying women are weak or fragile and can't hold their own) but because it was taught to me that women shouldn't be treated unfairly. If they bring it upon themselves, persay knowing the person is violent, or provoking, they should know when to walk away from it all.
> 
> I was taught by my father that no matter what happens, don't hit a woman. She's physically abusing you from a fight, just endure it or leave and let her try to cool down. It also feels wrong to hit a woman to me at least, hence why I have never done so. (Well, unless they get off through that but even then it feels odd.)
> 
> If a woman is physically bigger and stronger, it doesn't always mean she's going to be able to defend herself or that's she is always willing to defend herself.
> 
> Just my opinion.


It's hard to find a gentleman like you in this day n age. My guy's father also raised him right, that's why I will love him forever :heart


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## Glacial

I think it is a primative instinct dating back from the early days of evolution when men were responsible for hunting and gathering and women were the weaker sex raising offspring.


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## thankyouberry

If I was mad strong and athletic, and my boyfriend was in trouble, I'd kick the assailant in the face.


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## regimes

definitely social conditioning.
which isn't necessarily a bad thing, since (generally most) males have more muscle mass (or the capability of it) than females. yay for some ancient ancestor who decided keeping women around was (obviously) beneficial to future society.

i also agree with this:



The Silent 1 said:


> Well like I said men's protectiveness of women may in fact be rooted in a desire to assert power and dominance over them, or in some cases a sense of ownership of them. An abuser may protect his wife from others because he feels he owns her, and then turn right around and mistreat her himself. Also being protective of someone does not imply any desire to treat them as an equal.


i personally think domestic violence is wrong of either gender, so i think it's as wrong for guys to girls as it is for girls to hit guys.


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## The Silent 1

regimes said:


> i personally think domestic violence is wrong of either gender, so i think it's as wrong for guys to girls as it is for girls to hit guys.


Agreed. I also think it's interesting the way society in general reacts to female on male violence. If a female gets mad at a male and slaps him it's no big deal, and no one will criticize this behavior. I think whether or not the man was hurt is irrelevant, its a matter of respect and decency. If the situation were reversed, the man would get charged and there you go another domestic abuse stat. I remember abc news did an experiment where they had a couple stage a fight in a park where the woman began attacking the man. No one stepped in and helped. They decided to up the intensity level and still no one did a thing. The reversed the situation and someone would almost always step in immediately.


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## Neptunus

Some are defensive, some antagonistic. We're all individuals.


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## Paul

I've never felt at all protective towards women. Maybe it's because I've always been physically weak? But I just figure adult women can take care of themselves and frankly I find it insulting to both men and women to put women on a pedestal with special status. I have fears and vulnerabilities and if I were attacked I probably wouldn't be able to physically defend myself -- I'm not less worthy of protection just because I have a Y chromosome.



dollhouse said:


> Do men so adamantly insist that they would never hit a girl because they have it drilled into them as children or because the idea of it actually feels wrong and causes them distress?


Well it sure _ought_ to feel wrong to hit someone. Perhaps the better question to ask would be, what the heck is wrong with guys who aren't distressed by the thought of hitting other men? Are they brought up in a culture of violence where they expect to duke it out like animals for social status?

(Unless we're talking self-defense, in which case it's pretty crazy if there are guys who'd refuse to defend themselves when attacked by a woman despite having the physical advantage. That must make it easy for female muggers, bank robbers et all.)


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## ColdTurkey

Nope, I don't think of protecting woman. The other way around feels nice for some reason.


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## Charizard

I'm pretty protective of my gf- but a part of that is because she is pretty pathetic when it comes to looking out for herself.

And by "pathetic" I mean, "seems to have no conscious grasp of how to avoid injury"


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## WalkingDisaster

I think that men are naturally protective of women, although nowadays women have more independence and freedom. While this is obviously a good thing, it makes it difficult for a man to know exactly how much of a role in protection it is acceptable/required for him to take.


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## PickleNose

At this point in history, a better question might be "Are men overly protective of women?"


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