# Baffled by Therapist's Request



## csm2000 (Oct 25, 2013)

So, I've been going to this therapist for a couple of years, working on this SA CRAP and repeatedly she makes reference to how I have to let my younger self come out, to invite her out. 

I do NOT know what this means. I have TOLD her I don't know what she means and that I don't know how to do this. 

I do NOT have a multiple personality disorder, and a mini-me is not hiding inside to make an appearance. I am beginning to wonder if this is what she is implying.

I can and have talked about things that have happened to me as a child. I do dissociate to a certain extent where I struggle to talk and numb out.

Can anyone lend some insight? I'm going to have to ask for more details next week because I honestly do no know what she wants from me.


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## Umpalumpa (Jan 26, 2014)

I thought that you are a guy at first, so the "invite her out" part was a bit confusing :b

I think she is referring to loosing up, letting emotions out more easily, expressing what you want better, less regret, less shame, less anger and on and on and on.
Children are usually healthier in those things I said, and are less damaged.

Edit: you are probably over thinking this, it will be the best if you would just ask her, you can messege her or call her as well about it.


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## csm2000 (Oct 25, 2013)

Then it would be nice if she'd just _say_ that. And my childhood - not healthier with respect to those things.

Again today she said it and I said, "I know you keep saying that but I don't know what you mean!" I have said that more than once.

:mumI ain't got time for riddles, man!

Thanks for your reply, though...


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## soulsurviver (Jun 17, 2014)

It sounds like she is wanting to meet your inner child. She should not be bullying you to do this type of work if you are not ready. My therapist said she wanted to talk to the 8 year old me. I told her I did not want to be patronised, she then said she did not know how to help me, so I walked out on her and only paid her half the fee. Inner child work isn't for everyone


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## csm2000 (Oct 25, 2013)

We have done some of that in the past and it does feel silly.
I'd rather forget that troubled child existed. Letting go vs churning it up.


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## Miss Awesome (Sep 1, 2012)

I think she's referring to allowing yourself to feel those emotions that you had as a child - or maybe more accurately, to allow yourself to feel emotions when you talk about your childhood - as opposed to dissociating and numbing out.


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## csm2000 (Oct 25, 2013)

OK, I see a pattern in your responses. 
I think if I could do that, I wouldn't need her.
Craaaap.


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## Nimue (May 6, 2014)

I'm laughing right now because when my therapist started the inner child stuff, I was also adamant that I don't have multiple personalities. I was fortunate that she understood and helped me walk through it. Perhaps I might be able to shed a bit more light on this for you. 

I'm not a doctor or therapist, but I think the point of the exercise is to get in touch with why you have those feelings of anxiety. For example, let's say every time you eat an apple, you get your hand smashed by in a door. Pretty soon, you're going to stop eating apples. After a while, the fear of the pain from the door will be transferred to the apple and suddenly you don't like apples anymore. Then you can't stand to see them or pictures of them. Over time, you may forget why you don't like apples. This exercise is a way to find out the why (in this example remembering that you got your hand smashed). 

For me, it started when my therapist asked me to close my eyes and picture a time, any time, from my childhood where I had the same feelings as my last panic attack. The image that popped into my head was one from late middle school. I'm standing at the bottom of a flight of stairs at the end of the class line. At the top of the stairs is a classmate who says, "Don't touch the railing, SHE used it" and the rest of the class listened to him. She asked me to name that young lady, my inner child. So I named her Agnes. That was the beginning. 

Then we went to find the "safe place". A place where I feel safe; real or imagined. For me, it's a field, surrounded by an army of my overprotective country bred husband. Nothing can hurt me here. When I have a panic attack, the younger me goes and hides in the safe place. We also have conversations. Agnes will write with my left hand and adult me with my right hand. Some interesting stuff has come up about why I feel the way I do and once I know why I feel the way I do, I can address it. 

I'm sure as with any treatment method if this doesn't work for you, that's ok. Staying with a therapist who insists on a treatment method you can't work with is a waste of time and money. Good luck and keep us posted!


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## csm2000 (Oct 25, 2013)

You are right. ..she is right. ..I just need to put on my big ( or small?) girl pants and let go. Should be an interesting session this week as I did an art project w a photo of my young self and evil father so there's a good opening.


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## Nimue (May 6, 2014)

I hope it all went well....I recently did a picture of my anxiety as a gerbil, which I shot and killed, only for it to rise up again. My therapist laughed out loud when I showed the picture of the zombie gerbil. Whatever helps you.


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## kiki1971 (Jul 1, 2014)

The inner child thing can be strange, I agree. My therapist has never gone down that route, however, I think I may have on my own accord, done some inner child work that was very insightful.

After my father died a few years a ago, I came across a box of old photos and documents. I found my Grade 1 report card. And what an epiphany! I read that I was a very troubled little girl. Reading about the problems I had with peers in class at that young age, made me realize that I didn't just suddenly turn into a mess. I have deep-seeded patterns of behaviour that stem from my childhood. 

Then I saw a picture of me at that age, and it made me very emotional. I told my therapist about it and she asked me what I would say now to the girl in the picture. I went home and looked long and hard at the little girl in the pic. I wanted so badly to pick her up and hug her and tell her things are going to be ok. I remember feeling as though a weight was off my chest, because it allowed me to distance myself from my past in a way that allowed me to embrace it. Does that make sense? 

I hadn't thought about this again until just now, writing about it. So sorry if I have bombarded your thread with my own experience, however I hoped my story would help....it has helped me to remember it!


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## yelda (Jun 12, 2010)

antidepressants help the inner child! 
when you become manic, inner child comes out! 
therapy is useless!


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## csm2000 (Oct 25, 2013)

Niue - that's awesome. I love it! A sense of humor goes a.long way in enduring this battle.
The project I did involved a photo of my abusive father and In the piece I put a great amount of distance between us and had a great white shark coming up from behind the couch at my father's head. She seemed to find it amusing and asked me if that was enough for her ( younger self) and suggested that I expand upon it for next time. I told her I wasn't really inspired to do that. Seriously, after you snap off someone's head, what's left? I find art to be great for giving my quiet self something to say but not necessarily healing. It can be thought provoking. 

Kiki..you're on the right trac.


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