# Unable to make a living off anything



## monstercorp (Jul 14, 2013)

I think if it wasn't for my mom I'd be already dead or walking down the streets of any city or town with no purpose at all. I'd probably be a bum. Things have been really difficult lately and by lately I mean the 30 years I've been in this world. I barely enjoy anything and that makes it difficult for me to keep jobs, it really doesn't matter what I do, it's always the same I just can't enjoy things. I just got a job as an English teacher but to be honest I don't care for it. I wanna do it because I've been quitting jobs for the last four and a half years. I think I've had like 8 or 9 in this period. I am trying my best to stay at this one even though I'm not going to get paid a great deal. Maybe I made a huge mistake by applying for this job but I think I didn't have any other option. I sincerely thought I was going to be good at this but on the very first day I felt so uninterested on it and now I don't know what to do. I've come to realize that no matter what you do for a living you have to have a minimum of social skills or an interest in people or to enjoy what you do and it's already 30 years of my life and I still don't care for almost anything. I wish I was either one of those geniuses that no matter if they suck at social skills they still get by because of being geniuses or someone who is so good at social skills that doesn't matter if they suck at what they do but they're doing so well because they like people and people like them. I'm neither. Well, I just wanted to vent a little. Thank you for reading. Farewell.


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## ilsr (Aug 29, 2010)

Absolutely know what you're talking about. Not being a genius, and also not having social skills makes it difficult to be effective at jobs that require significant social skills.


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## Mel13 (Oct 6, 2014)

Its so hard to find work. Best stay in something, try your best and give yourself small rewards for sticking at something. Its so hard and takes work,m but I'm sure you'll find something to enjoy. 
I've had about 30 jobs in 15 years, now Im desperate to do ANYTHING just to pay bills.


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## Swagonite (Jun 24, 2014)

I feel ya bro


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## NoHopeDuh (Oct 25, 2014)

I applaud your honesty, when everyone seems to fear exposing their vulnerabilities including myself, it's nice to hear someone speak about their situation. I'm 29 and feel exactly the same, whether its planning to move to another state or just become a bum so i dont have to worry about becoming a bum. Anyways i believe in life at some point we move past the false hope and start to live for what we need as human beings, and there is the real path to life. Success, money, what does it matter if we cant share it? What is it anyways when it is so hard to share our selves in the first place?


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## ilsr (Aug 29, 2010)

NoHopeDuh said:


> I applaud your honesty, when everyone seems to fear exposing their vulnerabilities including myself, it's nice to hear someone speak about their situation. I'm 29 and feel exactly the same, whether its planning to move to another state or just become a bum so i dont have to worry about becoming a bum. Anyways i believe in life at some point we move past the false hope and start to live for what we need as human beings, and there is the real path to life. Success, money, what does it matter if we cant share it? What is it anyways when it is so hard to share our selves in the first place?


Appreciate the post, but isn't this the place to open up supposedly anonymously? I know it doesn't help when I see about 15 tracking cookies with every page clicked here on SAS.. don't know what this place is becoming if not more commercialized. makes me worried there is some fine print clause where all our posts will be ported off someplace for "research" purposes.

right. we are doomed to failure. yet, if we don't work and keep working at slave wage jobs we hate, we are just going to be judged bums for any work gaps in our entire lives.

how hypocritical our society is when someone wins the lottery or is already born rich it's perfectly ok , they don't have to do a slave wage job, just sign checks at some token desk job title.


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## User5 (Jun 22, 2010)

monstercorp said:


> I think if it wasn't for my mom I'd be already dead or walking down the streets of any city or town with no purpose at all. I'd probably be a bum. Things have been really difficult lately and by lately I mean the 30 years I've been in this world. I barely enjoy anything and that makes it difficult for me to keep jobs, it really doesn't matter what I do, it's always the same I just can't enjoy things. I just got a job as an English teacher but to be honest I don't care for it. I wanna do it because I've been quitting jobs for the last four and a half years. I think I've had like 8 or 9 in this period. I am trying my best to stay at this one even though I'm not going to get paid a great deal. Maybe I made a huge mistake by applying for this job but I think I didn't have any other option. I sincerely thought I was going to be good at this but on the very first day I felt so uninterested on it and now I don't know what to do. I've come to realize that no matter what you do for a living you have to have a minimum of social skills or an interest in people or to enjoy what you do and it's already 30 years of my life and I still don't care for almost anything. I wish I was either one of those geniuses that no matter if they suck at social skills they still get by because of being geniuses or someone who is so good at social skills that doesn't matter if they suck at what they do but they're doing so well because they like people and people like them. I'm neither. Well, I just wanted to vent a little. Thank you for reading. Farewell.


This isn't normal. A total lack of interest and drive is a classic symptom of atypical depression. It isn't your fault, but _it is_ your responsibility to get treated. A total lack of focus and apathy at work is a sign of a serious mental disorder. It has nothing to due with intelligence or laziness. Get treated, my friend.


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## meandernorth (Nov 12, 2014)

monstercorp said:


> Well, I just wanted to vent a little.


Às a previous commenter noted, please get some help. Depression can be a tough experience to battle alone. I've been working with a therapist to push through. With some support, time, and effort, things could change. Don't give up.


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## Daysleeper (Mar 30, 2014)

monstercorp said:


> ...I wish I was either one of those geniuses that no matter if they suck at social skills they still get by because of being geniuses or someone who is so good at social skills that doesn't matter if they suck at what they do but they're doing so well because they like people and people like them...


I can soooooooo relate to this and everything else in your post. Thanks for sharing.


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## monstercorp (Jul 14, 2013)

Daysleeper said:


> I can soooooooo relate to this and everything else in your post. Thanks for sharing.


I am glad that you get some "benefit" from this sharing, being to know that you're not the only one who feels this way. I now think that I'm making some progress, it's slow but there's some kind of "hope" the good news is that I'm still here and looking forward to some improvements in my life. There are times when I get a little depressed but I try not to pay a lot of attention to that. Sorry for the late response.


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## monstercorp (Jul 14, 2013)

shorefog said:


> Às a previous commenter noted, please get some help. Depression can be a tough experience to battle alone. I've been working with a therapist to push through. With some support, time, and effort, things could change. Don't give up.


Yes, I've made some progress already. There are times when you want to talk your feelings out but you just don't find any one to share with, I've been working on this and I feel a little better also I know that I will develop some skills to cope with. Appreciate your words.


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## Hayman (Dec 27, 2014)

I'd love to change jobs but one of my fears is change. When I'm somewhere, I like to just get my head down and settle in – if that makes any sense. It’s one of the reasons why I was in my previous job for a fraction over nine years. In this day and age outside of big industry, that's a fairly long stint in one place. I hated it for at least half that period. I've been in my current job for four and a half years – and barring the first six months, always hated it.

So, why don't I simply change jobs? As I said, I hate change. I'd have months of worry getting to know new people and settling into a new routine. No thanks. I also have so little drive it's hard to believe. I've never really had any positive experiences during my working life in order to gain any and sorry, I can't 'self generate' this from thin air as some people (and doctors) expect you to do.

I've never made any progression with my 'career' simply because I have almost no social skills. Some of it my fault but I believe a lot of it isn't. I'm snubbed or argued with by practically everyone. Therefore there's only been a small handful of people who I can say I've got on reasonably well with in what, almost 14 years of working now. I know I've been paid less than other's doing the same job as me too… Again, it seems 'who you know' gets you pay rises. If you just go in, do your job as you're supposed to do (to the best of your ability, of course) and go home, you're considered nothing more than the 'dregs' in the company. It seems you've got to be a full-out party-goer to progress and that simply isn't me… Therefore I'm destined to a lifetime of being the classic wage-slave.

Any rewards from working or rewards from bosses for loyal, hard work? You can forget it. My income has either been legal minimum wage or a matter of pence above it. Therefore my income basically ensures I can 'exist' from one month to the next. Luxuries or pleasures? You must be having a laugh. 

Roll on retirement, I say. I won't have to deal with idiots any more and at least I will have more time to do the things that I enjoy doing. No more getting up at ridiculously early hours either and getting home long after dark in the winter months (I live like a mushroom in winter – I never see daylight barring the weekends).


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