# Anyone here start dating at a late age?



## njodis

-


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## Cerberus

I went on a blind date when I was 19. I haven't been on one since that one. I'm 21.


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## Bad Religion

I'm not quite 20 yet but I'm 18 and never been on a date. Aside from the overall anxiety, part of the reason I'm so scared to date is because I don't want anyone else finding out I've never been on a date. I know what you mean about feeling like you missed the boat, I feel the same way. I feel like since I didn't start dating at the normal age (which I think is like 14-15?) I won't know what I'm doing and screw things up. Either that or I'll just keep getting older and more ashamed of my lack of dating life and shut every guy out forever. I can't imagine what someone would think of me if they found out I've never been on a date. They would probably think I'm psychotic or something. 

I hope there are some people here who started dating at a later age because I'd like some reassurance that it's possible.


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## PGVan

I'll be 23 in April. 

Dating seems like some surreal concept that just isn't supposed to happen for me.


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## millenniumman75

31 - same situation :fall


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## Inturmal

Njodis said:


> Normal people experience and figure out how these things work when they're in their teens.


It only seems that way, but it's not really true. I'd bet that a large percentage of the population don't really start dating until after high school.. not necessarily the majority, but a significant amount.

Anyway, I was 19/20, which I consider to be about average. So, technically, I shouldn't be replying, but I'm here anyway.


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## phr33k

almost 19. never been on a date. the thought of my first date scares me :\


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## dez

26. Anyone here has my permission to shoot me at 30.


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## Zephyr

dez said:


> 26. Anyone here has my permission to shoot me at 30.


Ditto. Well, I wouldn't mind being shot at any time.


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## scairy

Njodis said:


> Is there anyone here that started dating/relationships at a late age? By a late age, I mean... 20+? Just wondering how it worked out and if your inexperience caused any kind of trouble or problems.
> 
> Yeah, yeah... I'm 22, and I've never been on a date before. I feel like I've totally missed the boat. I imagine it to be a complete nightmare to meet someone and they find out that I've never been in a relationship before. Normal people experience and figure out how these things work when they're in their teens. I don't know if it's even possible to have a normal relationship at this point. ops
> 
> So yeah, anyone here start dating in their 20's or older? How did it go?


What's considered late, lol? I've done very, very minimal dating. You could pretty much say none.

I often think like you, once someone finds out I haven't done much dating or haven't had a gf they're going to immediately run away.

But something impulsively popped into my head after reading your post. Who cares!? Let's say they turn me down for that reason, that reason in itself is a stupid reason to cut someone off. A girl that would do that to me isn't the type of girl I'm looking for anyway, so I guess, looking at in a positive manner, it just helps me weed out who I don't want to date. However, if I don't start soon I'm going to end up with an age gap if I do find someone.

My suggestion just get started and if it comes up be honest. If they can't accept it you don't want someone that intolerant if you're looking for a long-term relationship. And if you're looking for a short-term relationship I guess you could just not tell the truth; but at least going in be truthful to the girl in telling her you don't want anything serious.


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## KimberlyK

Well, I never had a date or a boyfriend until I was 26 so I know that you don't have to have a lot of dating experience in order to find someone. Anyone that thinks it is strange that you haven't been dating isn't worth being with. They should want to be with you for you, not your past with other people.


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## Morningrise

*Re: re: Anyone here start dating at a late age?*



Kimberly69 said:


> Anyone that thinks it is strange that you haven't been dating isn't worth being with. They should want to be with you for you, not your past with other people.


 :agree

I wish more people were actually non-judgemental like that though...


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## Woody

...


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## Nae

never been on a date...it sucks. the older I get the worse it feels.


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## AnxiousAirman

I used to think it strange... but I have a friend who is very outgoing (well..comparatively...hehe) she didn't start dating until well after HS....she's 24 now, and still as lost as many of us here...
but she is very pretty, sweet, fun....datable by any standard...
So being mid-20s err wherever we may be in life and having little dating experience.... shouldn't weigh as heavily as other areas we could be worrying about...
can definitely understand some peoples' SA being exacerbated by such thoughts though.... 
Ohh, and I dated one person when I was 20. I doubt most people would classify it as such cause it was a semi-long distance.
It was an eye-opening experience that has helped me to realize that stuff I worried about really doesnt matter...


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## RacerX

I'm halfway to my 21st birthday and I've not had a date, ever.

I wouldn't even know where the hell to begin. I could try talking to a girl but I would be absolutely lost for words. I simply would not know what to say.


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## Carbon Breather

I don't think the other person cares that much about how many dates you have been on. I think it's more important that you have learned some social behaviour and got your anxiety down. You don't have to tell how many dates you have been on, if the other person asks you could always say i had dinner with this girl and blah blah... ("this girl" could be your sister).

Ohh... and many people that have replied are around 20. That's late !?
I know lots of people who didn't get a date or a GF until they were 20,21,22,.
I thought late was around 30.


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## scairy

*Re: re: Anyone here start dating at a late age?*



Morningrise said:


> Kimberly69 said:
> 
> 
> 
> Anyone that thinks it is strange that you haven't been dating isn't worth being with. They should want to be with you for you, not your past with other people.
> 
> 
> 
> :agree
> 
> I wish more people were actually non-judgemental like that though...
Click to expand...

I know this is a generalization but most guys don't care; if they're attracted to a girl it's not going to stop them unless they find out that she is insanely crazy and violent, lol. There seems to be more women that are bothered by it perhaps they feel threatened. So maybe they can't take as much of a chance as a guy could because they have less physical strength to fight off a crazy guy. "This guy hasn't dated or had a gf, there must be some reason."


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## scairy

*Re: re: Anyone here start dating at a late age?*



RacerX said:


> I'm halfway to my 21st birthday and I've not had a date, ever.
> 
> I wouldn't even know where the hell to begin. I could try talking to a girl but I would be absolutely lost for words. I simply would not know what to say.


Some girls are easier for us SA to talk to. If you have common interests it makes it easier. Also if the girl has had an adventurous life (traveling, particular activities and events that she has gone to). The more the other person tells about themself (the more open they are) the easier it is to talk to them.


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## russophile1977

I went on my first date when I was 19. I'm 29 and still waiting for date #2 lol.


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## Zephyr

> Ohh... and many people that have replied are around 20. That's late !?
> I know lots of people who didn't get a date or a GF until they were 20,21,22,.
> I thought late was around 30.


 :agree 
I don't think 20 is too late at all. I think you have to be at least 25-26 to be edging into "too late" territory, or especially 30. By then I think everyone definitely expects you to have had some experience.


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## njodis

Well, at the rate I'm going, it would be a miracle if I ever managed to date someone by the time I'm 25-26. :b


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## bent

dez said:


> 26. Anyone here has my permission to shoot me at 30.


hey wait a minute annie...i already gave you permission to blow my head off if you ever feel up to it so just make sure you take care of that before anyone else takes care of you at 30, haha.


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## dez

bent said:


> dez said:
> 
> 
> 
> 26. Anyone here has my permission to shoot me at 30.
> 
> 
> 
> hey wait a minute annie...i already gave you permission to blow my head off if you ever feel up to it so just make sure you take care of that before anyone else takes care of you at 30, haha.
Click to expand...

I haven't forgotten. No problem.


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## MidnightBlu

I started at 14 and dated the guy for two weeks, but I don't consider him as my boyfriend. After that I never went on any dates.


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## Ghost

I went out on my first date at 25 still single though...


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## Meee

Njodis said:


> Well, at the rate I'm going, it would be a miracle if I ever managed to date someone by the time I'm 25-26. :b


Same here.


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## red_reagel

I'm 16 and I've never dated anyone before. I wanna date, but I dont think i will even when I'm 25. Who knows though, right?


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## cakesniffer

I've never been on a "date" in the traditional sense of the word. Like, boy meets girl at school or work or someplace that isn't the internet, boy asks girl out, and they got out, then go home. :lol


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## Drella

*Re: re: Anyone here start dating at a late age?*

If I _ever_ get a date, the world will subsequently implode and civilization will come to an end.


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## Driftfisher

I hardly doubt it Drella! :nw


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## SunLite

Start now 
A life without love is not a life at all.


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## ColdFury

*Re: re: Anyone here start dating at a late age?*



SunLite said:


> Start now
> A life without love is not a life at all.


Its not like most of us don't want to....


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## njodis

Heh... well, I didn't mean for this to be another post for everyone to pity themselves in. :b

Doesn't look like too many people started dating/relationships later on. I guess it's either early or nothing. Guess I really did miss the boat. :lol


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## millenniumman75

Nah - it will still happen. Even at 31, I am not ready to give up :no.


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## Drella

Njodis said:


> Heh... well, I didn't mean for this to be another post for everyone to pity themselves in. :b


Hey, well, that's every thread! :b 
For me, at least.


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## nubly

i met my ex girlfriend online and we dated when i was 25. broke up at 28 and have only dated three other girls since


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## emptybottle

I'm 23 and I don't consider it too late to start dating. But it's most likely that my anxiety will get worse every year I avoid dating. I'm concerned that when i'm at the "too late" territory (26-30 maybe), I would have given up altogether. 
My family's already telling me I'm too young to give up caring about my appearance and attractiveness. And I tell them it's not like all the makeup and girly clothes I used to wear ever worked-- no one's ever been interested in me.


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## Guest

I met my first online at 23 (or 24).. then went on a dating shopping spree for like 4 years. Man was that fun. Totall internet pimp daddy wannabee fulfilling all my teenage fantasies.

But it might come back to haunt u. Now I realize I haven't gained one once of real experience, just superficial experience. I'm probably worse off.

Just one word of advice. Lie. They don't need to know it's your first


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## themousethatroared

I have dated but never really had a steady girlfriend. I thought I was odd because my friends have dated before me and so I felt left out. So I have dated but have not had a serious relationship and I am 31. I have come to realize that sa has had a big part in it. I try not to dwell on it to much and I think that sooner or later I will find someone and that person will find me and we can have a relationship with each other. I have no doubt that that will happen at some point in my life regardless if it doesn't happen until I am 100.


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## senrab

I'm 25, female, and have never been in a relationship...have been hit on a few times but I was so embarrassed I ran away. Now life is getting harder because more and more of my friends and cousins are either in serious relationships, engaged, or married. Weddings are the worst. I adore my mother but it's hard when she's my date everytime :lol

The other thing that is very embarrassing is going to the gynecologist and having to say I've never had a boyfriend or had sex, and the doctor writes down *"VIRGIN"*, never mind the following exam.

I'm embarrassed to have never had any experience of any kind, but I'm embarrassed to do anything about it because I'm afraid of the whole experience - talking, dating, holding hands, kissing, caressing, sex, getting married. I do not consider myself to be an asexual being either. I think I just have always felt unworthy of being loved (romantically, not platonically or family) and unable to love someone else in the most complete way.

I still don't know what I want.


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## elephant_girl

*Re: re: Anyone here start dating at a late age?*



scairy said:


> most guys don't care; if they're attracted to a girl it's not going to stop them unless they find out that she is insanely crazy and violent, lol.


Then I guess there's still hope for me. :lol I'm already 26 and I've never ben on a date.


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## nubly

senrab said:


> The other thing that is very embarrassing is going to the gynecologist and having to say I've never had a boyfriend or had sex, and the doctor writes down *"VIRGIN"*, never mind the following exam.


do they have to do that?


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## senrab

I think it was because I didn't fill out a medical history form in the waiting room before being seen. What happened was the receptionist asked me right at check-in to give a urine sample, and when I came out of the bathroom the nurse said "Oh there you are, come in here". Regardless of filling out the form myself or not, they have to know whether or not you've been exposed to potential infection or STDs, etc. Good question, though.


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## emptybottle

senrab said:


> The other thing that is very embarrassing is going to the gynecologist and having to say I've never had a boyfriend or had sex, and the doctor writes down *"VIRGIN"*, never mind the following exam.


You don't have to share that you've never had a boyfriend. Too much information, IMO. I just say no when the gyn asks if I'm sexually active. that could sometimes mean it's been awhile since you've had sex... Though with 2 different doctors, I ended up blurting out "i'm still a virgin" without them asking right when they begin the pelvic exam :um . One doctor replied "That's very good."


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## Futures

I'm almost 26 and I don't see much light at the end of the tunnel as far as dating goes in the future.

My conversation skills would have to suddenly improve for that to happen, and for 25 years, my social skills have gone downhill more and more with each passing year.

The thought of taking a girl out to a restaurant and sitting there for an hour and being expected to hold a conversation, that sounds completely terrifying to me.


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## Amande

senrab said:


> I'm embarrassed to have never had any experience of any kind, but I'm embarrassed to do anything about it because I'm afraid of the whole experience - talking, dating, holding hands, kissing, caressing, sex, getting married. I do not consider myself to be an asexual being either. I think I just have always felt unworthy of being loved (romantically, not platonically or family) and unable to love someone else in the most complete way.


I feel the exact same. I'm utterly terrified and I don't know how to get past that fear.


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## justlistening

*Re: re: Anyone here start dating at a late age?*



Futures said:


> The thought of taking a girl out to a restaurant and sitting there for an hour and being expected to hold a conversation, that sounds completely terrifying to me.


As long as it's not a blind date you shouldn't worry about that too much. I mean, the girl probably noticed before you're not that talkative and is dating you because she likes you for the way you are.


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## Mads

I've always said that my goal was to get a date before my 21st birthday. I have about 14 more months. At this rate, it's not happening. I'll be lucky to have my first kiss by the time I'm 30. 

Of course, sitting around my house isn't doing much to help the situation. I need to learn how to meet people, because I'm clueless. And if I do meet someone, the thought of being in and maintaining a real relationship is just scary.


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## MissChocolateMilkshake

I seriously started dating when I was 19 years old. I had 2 bad relationships so far. I dont date that often though .


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## starblob

I started my first relationship with someone when i was 22 and even then i think i was rather immature and barely able to handle myself in it.


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## grumpybear

I started dating young (13), but that doesn't make me any better off now. I was with him for a year and a half. Then, I had a couple of random dates when I was 17 or 18. When I was 19/20, I had a boyfriend again for like 7 months. Then I had another bf for about a year. Then a couple random dates, and nothing since. During all of that time, I had the anxiety, but I would stick it out because I really liked/loved the guy. I feel like I need to conquer other aspects of my life and my social life before getting someone else involved again. So, basically I avoid dating, which is sad. I have a lot of regrets, but I just feel that it would be a mess.

I am 29 now, and I am more afraid to date now than when I was 13. I don't worry too much about getting married. I just would like to be able to go on a normal date without getting all anxious and sick over it. I would just like to enjoy it.


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## Johnny1234

I was dating a girl when I was 13 for about 2-3 weeks. I also had another girl ask me out, but I rejected cuz i was scared(lol she was talking about having sex b4 we even started dating!). I really want to date again though, its such a wonderful feeling when you get past the anxiety.

Oh yeah and I have a weird habit of asking girls out that already have bf's, and of course that never wokrs out lol. Ive done it twice already.


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## dez

Njodis said:


> Doesn't look like too many people started dating/relationships later on. I guess it's either early or nothing. Guess I really did miss the boat. :lol


 Nah, you're fine. You're just 22. And I would hope you're wrong about it being early or nothing. :lol


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## njodis

I hope you're right, but I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel yet. :eek


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## RacerX

I'm hopelessly clueless at this. I was at a work training course and I met a girl there. Then after the day ended she said to me "Hey do you want to go get a coffee?" I said yes, then we just sat there and I did the whole 'ask lots of questions' thing. The whole time I was perplexed as to whether it was a date or not. Halfway through she had to leave but before she did she grabbed my number so we could meet up later. My main problem is actually knowing whether I've obtained a date or not. Whats the differene between a date and just hanging out?


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## Lifetimer

All you people here in your 20's feel it's too late for you? LOL! That's a big laugh. Try being over 40 and never been on a date in your life. THAT'S when you feel like it's a hopeless situation. Not necessarily because I wouldn't know how to act on a date or in a relationship (though that is true), but more so because I can't see seriously any woman wanting to get involved with a guy over 40 that not only is still a virgin but has never even been on 1 date in his life. It is just assumed that someone my age has been in a relationship before and had sex as well. So once finding out my sad situation, she will obviously figure there must be something wrong with a person such as myself and will no way give me a chance. 

And I wouldn't blame her for feeling this way because to be honest, if it were the other way around, I would probably be wondering the same thing about her and think there must be something seriously wrong. However, if I found out a GOOD reason WHY she never had a date in her life (such as SA) - and I knew she was a good, worthy person - then I really don't think her past of never been on a date or having a relationship would bother me. But if she had never been on a date because of severe mental issues ... i.e. "nuts!" ... then I doubt very much if I would want to get involved with her.

....Unless she looked like a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. :lol 

Lifetimer


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## Razorblade Kiss

*Re: re: Anyone here start dating at a late age?*

Hahaha, of course. :b


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## Qolselanu

Hey look, I found another thread title in our Relationships forums that begs the question to me! 

But really, I hope I do not start dating at a late age because even now I cannot stand being so lonely.


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## PGVan

*Re: re: Anyone here start dating at a late age?*



Lifetimer said:


> All you people here in your 20's feel it's too late for you? LOL! That's a big laugh. Try being over 40 and never been on a date in your life. THAT'S when you feel like it's a hopeless situation. Not necessarily because I wouldn't know how to act on a date or in a relationship (though that is true), but more so because I can't see seriously any woman wanting to get involved with a guy over 40 that not only is still a virgin but has never even been on 1 date in his life. It is just assumed that someone my age has been in a relationship before and had sex as well.


To be brutally honest, in today's society, it's expected when you're 16-18.

I'm 22, and people don't ask me if I've had a girlfriend before, they ask me when my last relationship was. It's assumed that I've "been there and done that".


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## emptybottle

*Re: re: Anyone here start dating at a late age?*



Futures said:


> The thought of taking a girl out to a restaurant and sitting there for an hour and being expected to hold a conversation, that sounds completely terrifying to me.


That's my most feared SA scenario. I'm 23 and I've not only never dated, I've never even held a conversation with a guy for more than maybe 5 minutes. How's that for being socially far behind? Hell, I honestly can't even remember the last time a guy talked to me. Seriously.

No light at the end of the tunnel here either. I know that I'm still young like most of the people *****ing on this thread, and we have plenty of time to turn things around. The problem is our confidence sinking more and more rapidly once we're past 21 or so. I was actually pretty comfortable with having no love life or experience with the whole dating and flirting thing--I just didn't think about it much--until I was 22. Then, it's like, Oh Crap... There was suddenly the overwhelming feeling like the clock's ticking and that when I turn 25 without having dated or had a relationship, there will be like 95% less hope for the future. I have to start now but .... I just have no clue how. As a girl, and a very shy one at that, I pretty much have to wait to be approached. No one has shown the slightest interest in me since I was 19. Even the totally mediocre guys at my school that I wouldn't turn down are going after the hot chicks! :lol


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## Inturmal

I'm gonna start going after the shy girls. :banana 



hmm.. that's probably going to involve talking though.. nevermind. :hide


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## person86

*Re: re: Anyone here start dating at a late age?*



PGVan said:


> To be brutally honest, in today's society, it's expected when you're 16-18.
> 
> I'm 22, and people don't ask me if I've had a girlfriend before, they ask me when my last relationship was. It's assumed that I've "been there and done that".


Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking.

I see some people here claiming that not starting dating until 20/21/22 is more or less normal - or at least not too abnormal - but I'm not seeing it. Just about everybody I know, except for maybe a few really weird dysfunctional people, has had at least one serious relationship in their teens.


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## Lincolnradiocat

Empty bottle, you can PM me anytime, Visit my myspace page...check out my goofy internet radio station, it's all part of my therapy! I never have pursued online friends before...so you are more than welcome to talk to me.


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## njodis

*Re: re: Anyone here start dating at a late age?*



emptybottle said:


> Futures said:
> 
> 
> 
> The thought of taking a girl out to a restaurant and sitting there for an hour and being expected to hold a conversation, that sounds completely terrifying to me.
> 
> 
> 
> That's my most feared SA scenario. I'm 23 and I've not only never dated, I've never even held a conversation with a guy for more than maybe 5 minutes. How's that for being socially far behind? Hell, I honestly can't even remember the last time a guy talked to me. Seriously.
> 
> No light at the end of the tunnel here either. I know that I'm still young like most of the people *****ing on this thread, and we have plenty of time to turn things around. The problem is our confidence sinking more and more rapidly once we're past 21 or so. I was actually pretty comfortable with having no love life or experience with the whole dating and flirting thing--I just didn't think about it much--until I was 22. Then, it's like, Oh Crap... There was suddenly the overwhelming feeling like the clock's ticking and that when I turn 25 without having dated or had a relationship, there will be like 95% less hope for the future. I have to start now but .... I just have no clue how. As a girl, and a very shy one at that, I pretty much have to wait to be approached. No one has shown the slightest interest in me since I was 19. Even the totally mediocre guys at my school that I wouldn't turn down are going after the hot chicks! :lol
Click to expand...

Haha, yeah, wow. No offense, just kinda funny that there are females here than can relate. I totally relate to the thing about having to hold a conversation for an hour at a restaurant, because I don't see how I would possibly be able to do that. I always picture myself as someone she would describe to her girlfriends as the "creepy guy who just sat there" as she was describing her nightmare date. :lol I can count on one hand the number of conversations I've had with a female around my age, and every time was because she initiated it, and the entire time I felt an overpowering urge to get out of it. When I talk to people, the conversation either just totally flows great, or it's a nightmare. It usually only goes well when I have a ton in common with the other person. I can remember the last time I had a conversation with a girl my age, and it was just about a year ago.

Like you, when I was a teenager, this whole thing didn't bother me much at all. I was 16, 17, 18 and I was just like, "It's ok, I'm still young." Then I turned 20, 21 and it really did start to bother me. I don't know how else to explain it other than it feels like a deadline I should have met years ago, and each year it gets worse. It doesn't help that I see myself as completely undatable. I know, blah blah people don't like hearing me whine about this, but in most ways I am basically George Costanza with hair and social anxiety. :lol


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## Zephyr

*Re: re: Anyone here start dating at a late age?*



Njodis said:


> emptybottle said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Futures said:
> 
> 
> 
> The thought of taking a girl out to a restaurant and sitting there for an hour and being expected to hold a conversation, that sounds completely terrifying to me.
> 
> 
> 
> That's my most feared SA scenario. I'm 23 and I've not only never dated, I've never even held a conversation with a guy for more than maybe 5 minutes. How's that for being socially far behind? Hell, I honestly can't even remember the last time a guy talked to me. Seriously.
> 
> No light at the end of the tunnel here either. I know that I'm still young like most of the people *****ing on this thread, and we have plenty of time to turn things around. The problem is our confidence sinking more and more rapidly once we're past 21 or so. I was actually pretty comfortable with having no love life or experience with the whole dating and flirting thing--I just didn't think about it much--until I was 22. Then, it's like, Oh Crap... There was suddenly the overwhelming feeling like the clock's ticking and that when I turn 25 without having dated or had a relationship, there will be like 95% less hope for the future. I have to start now but .... I just have no clue how. As a girl, and a very shy one at that, I pretty much have to wait to be approached. No one has shown the slightest interest in me since I was 19. Even the totally mediocre guys at my school that I wouldn't turn down are going after the hot chicks! :lol
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Haha, yeah, wow. No offense, just kinda funny that there are females here than can relate. I totally relate to the thing about having to hold a conversation for an hour at a restaurant, because I don't see how I would possibly be able to do that. I always picture myself as someone she would describe to her girlfriends as the "creepy guy who just sat there" as she was describing her nightmare date. :lol I can count on one hand the number of conversations I've had with a female around my age, and every time was because she initiated it, and the entire time I felt an overpowering urge to get out of it. When I talk to people, the conversation either just totally flows great, or it's a nightmare. It usually only goes well when I have a ton in common with the other person. I can remember the last time I had a conversation with a girl my age, and it was just about a year ago.
Click to expand...

I can't even remember the last time I talked with a girl my age. I guess it might have been the late 1980s when I was really young. They just don't seem all that interested.


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## llee

.


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## Carbon Breather

*Re: re: Anyone here start dating at a late age?*



llee said:


> I'm 22 and I haven't come close. And people say that I'm relatively good looking, so it's extremely embarrassing when the subject arises. I can imagine them thinking "my goodness, there must be something wrong with this dude, he must be gay or something" (not that there's anything wrong with that).


I know what you're talking about. A friend's GF of a little more than 2 years asked me recently if i was gay because she had never seen me with a girl. I said i wasn't but i sometimes wish i was because maybe then i would meet someone :lol


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## Razorblade Kiss

That reminds me of certain guys in highschool who would ask me if I'm a lesbian. I was simply just not interested in them.


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## Futures

*Re: re: Anyone here start dating at a late age?*



Lifetimer said:


> All you people here in your 20's feel it's too late for you? LOL! That's a big laugh. Try being over 40 and never been on a date in your life. THAT'S when you feel like it's a hopeless situation.


While 20's may not technically be too late, it's more about being able to assess one's social life and conversation skills, and predict the future based on it. When I was 18, I knew with overwhelming certainty that I'd still be a virgin at my current age of almost 26. And as I sit here, I know that unless I get my $h1t together, I'll most likely be in the same situation at 40.

That's why I never offer the "you got plenty of time" responses to younger people who make posts about having no hope for the future. Sometimes you just know how things are going to be.


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## Roberto

I get the feeling that people think I have a developmental disorder or something - they don't ask nor expect these things of me. Maybe I do - I'm not afraid, but don't feel ready and don't pursue. If she was a good friend first, perhaps that would be different, but I don't think casual dating is something I'll ever do. It seems I don't really want to. :stu Being a virgin feels crappy sometimes, but after I relieve myself and really think about it, so what. Just because somebody's had sex doesn't mean they've had good sex. It seems entirely possible that I have better sex with myself than a lot of people have with each other. yeah okay, maybe not.


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## Razorblade Kiss

No, that's totally possible. I'm the only one who can give myself multiple orgasms. I've had good and bad experiences with sex. Nothing wrong with being a virgin. I was a virgin 'til I was 22, then I met someone I was into.


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## scairy

Njodis said:


> Heh... well, I didn't mean for this to be another post for everyone to pity themselves in. :b
> 
> Doesn't look like too many people started dating/relationships later on. I guess it's either early or nothing. Guess I really did miss the boat. :lol


Well realize that we aren't the norm. We are different than your average person. If you were to talk to an average person 21-22 would be late and anything past that would be really strange. On a brighter note 2 out of 3 people get married. And also you have to consider that of the other 1/3 some of those people probably have dated or are in a relationship just don't feel like getting married. Generally the odds are with you... I'll chalk my situation up to not wanting it bad enough.


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## scairy

*Re: re: Anyone here start dating at a late age?*



Futures said:


> Lifetimer said:
> 
> 
> 
> All you people here in your 20's feel it's too late for you? LOL! That's a big laugh. Try being over 40 and never been on a date in your life. THAT'S when you feel like it's a hopeless situation.
> 
> 
> 
> While 20's may not technically be too late, it's more about being able to assess one's social life and conversation skills, and predict the future based on it. When I was 18, I knew with overwhelming certainty that I'd still be a virgin at my current age of almost 26. And as I sit here, I know that unless I get my $h1t together, I'll most likely be in the same situation at 40.
> 
> That's why I never offer the "you got plenty of time" responses to younger people who make posts about having no hope for the future. Sometimes you just know how things are going to be.
Click to expand...

I totally understand where your coming from but I believe we can succeed we just are too worried about failing or looking stupid so we don't allow ourself the hundreds of failed attempts. I really should view it as what do I have to fear? If I'm rejected 1,000X it just proves that I was right all along; am I perhaps afraid of proving that I was wrong? I seem to currently be satisfied with the slight certainty that it's not a possibility rather than test the water more often and prove that I am in fact right.


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## onlylordknows

age 22... never been on dates


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## carangil

Hi everyone. I am new here. I'm 22 and have just started dating. It is quite awkward and I feel a bit lost in the process.


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## aviator99

Well i'm 20, never dated. Never even kissed a girl. Nowhere near 1st base. Hell i'm still in dugout.

Part of me wants to date someone, and wants to have the experience. There are some days where I come home from work and i'm like "Man, no worries, nobody to deal with, feels good", then theres other days where I come home and its "Sigh...man I need a girlfriend, someone to hug, cuddle with, love, etc.". Its an up and down thing for me.

Truthfully I need to get my career straightened out and get my own place before I want to start dating someone, so that, plus some SA are the main problems. I honestly do believe one day i'll get married. I had (and this may sound stupid) a dream once (which was actually about a month ago) that I was at some kind of reception hall, and I just knew it had something to do with my wedding, but it wasnt the -actual- wedding. Was like a receiption/preemptive thing. In the dream I saw the side-view of the girl I loved (or felt I loved in the dream), and I was takin aback by the fact she was a brunette (I generally am more attracted to blondes). She was talking to my one of my aunt/uncles (who I could clearly makeout actually), and I was standing off to the side. The dream only lasted about 10 secs it felt like. Preminition or not, I dont know. I hope so 

In some weird way I could feel what it felt like (the emotions) in the dream - I felt love and I felt like I was older (maybe 24-26), didnt feel the slightest anxiety, felt excited, very happy, and wow, if thats what love feels like, to be in love and to be loved - its incredible.

Because of that dream, every brunette girl I come in contact with or talk to (mainly at work), in the back of my mind I think "Hmm...maybe?".


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## aviator99

Oh, another major problem for me is the fact that i'm 20, but people think i'm much younger. A few months ago I went to a bank to open a new checking account and the clerk told me I had to be 18. "I'm 20" and gave her my license, and she responded with "Oh you look like you're 13! Whatever you do I need to do!"...great. Unfortunately this equates to -negative points in the dating game. Who knows how many 18+ girls may have come in contact with me and thought "I dont want to be a perv dating this 13 year old" (when i'm really 20), and were maybe interested, but blew me off cause they thought I was a kid. I get the "hey kid" thing all the time now. Where I work, i'll help people or ring them up, and when the transaction is done or what not, its "Thanks buddy"... "Thanks kiddo" - have a nice day bud.

Sigh!


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## Zephyr

*Re: re: Anyone here start dating at a late age?*



aviator99 said:


> Oh, another major problem for me is the fact that i'm 20, but people think i'm much younger. A few months ago I went to a bank to open a new checking account and the clerk told me I had to be 18. "I'm 20" and gave her my license, and she responded with "Oh you look like you're 13! Whatever you do I need to do!"...great. Unfortunately this equates to -negative points in the dating game. Who knows how many 18+ girls may have come in contact with me and thought "I dont want to be a perv dating this 13 year old" (when i'm really 20), and were maybe interested, but blew me off cause they thought I was a kid. I get the "hey kid" thing all the time now. Where I work, i'll help people or ring them up, and when the transaction is done or what not, its "Thanks buddy"... "Thanks kiddo" - have a nice day bud.


Ditto for me. People always say how they wish they could look young...well, it's not fun when you're a guy in your twenties and still look like you should be in high school :roll


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## llee

*Re: re: Anyone here start dating at a late age?*

.


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## alex989

*Re: re: Anyone here start dating at a late age?*



Zephyr said:


> aviator99 said:
> 
> 
> 
> Oh, another major problem for me is the fact that i'm 20, but people think i'm much younger. A few months ago I went to a bank to open a new checking account and the clerk told me I had to be 18. "I'm 20" and gave her my license, and she responded with "Oh you look like you're 13! Whatever you do I need to do!"...great. Unfortunately this equates to -negative points in the dating game. Who knows how many 18+ girls may have come in contact with me and thought "I dont want to be a perv dating this 13 year old" (when i'm really 20), and were maybe interested, but blew me off cause they thought I was a kid. I get the "hey kid" thing all the time now. Where I work, i'll help people or ring them up, and when the transaction is done or what not, its "Thanks buddy"... "Thanks kiddo" - have a nice day bud.
> 
> 
> 
> Ditto for me. People always say how they wish they could look young...well, it's not fun when you're a guy in your twenties and still look like you should be in high school :roll
Click to expand...

Yeah, I cannot understand how people wish they could look young...would you, a grown adult, want to be talked down to and treated like a child when you meet people?

I'm only 18 but I do think that I look younger, maybe 14-16. I'm 5' 11", but it's my young looking baby face that makes people believe that I am alot younger. And yeah, I hate being called "buddy" or "kid" by people not much older than me.

I hope I don't look like I should still be in high school when I'm in my 20's...


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## FreakCitySF

26 next week, never dated, kissed, any of that

i see myself disappearing

*25 next week, thanks Sheri for correction


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## No Limit

25 here and just started dating. Never gotten to first base yet (otherwise known as the kiss...). Heh. And I'm a baseball fan too. *sigh*


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## Higolo

I turned 17 in January and have never had a girlfriend.
There's one BEAUTIFUL girl that likes me (the feeling's mutual! ;]), and I'm hoping I can improve enough to talk to her and maybe take it from there.


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## deist78

i'm 28 and i just started dating. it seems like a foreighn language to me. there are hundreds of things she has to explain to me that i wouldn't have even thought o in a million years.


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## ebolarama

-


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## Steve85

I have never dated. I've hooked up with a few girls (nothing too far) though. Asking girls out is at the top of my anxiety scale (fear of rejection I guess). For those that have just started dating later (20's), can you share a little bit about how it came about? Thanks.


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## LonelyEnigma

....


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## Lifetimer

Lonelyheart25 said:


> My relationship maturity/experience is so far behind my peers that I no longer think a relationship is possible. If a woman went out on a date with me, they would probably feel like they're dating a child.


Lonelyheart25, you just perfectly described me! I have zero dating experience because of SA and if I dated then I have all the ingredients of coming across as a young kid. I'm in my early 40's but look and act much younger. I was recently talking on the phone to someone from customer service about a problem I was having with my computer, and the guy asked me how old I was (just to make conversation while he was checking on something). After I told him, he said, "You sound like your 10 years younger!".

So, I really feel I'm in a no win situation. I'm sure any future women for me to possibly date who are my age will think I come across as too much like a young kid. Also, I don't think they will know I am their age unless I actually tell them. And I'm sure the opposite will be true with younger women. I believe they will first think I am close to their age but when they find out my real age then they will think I'm too old for them. (I've actually had a few much younger women - about 15 to 18 years younger - seemigly show interest in me. I'm sure they think I'm closer to their age than I actually am.)

As I said, I feel like I'm in a no win situation.

Lifetimer


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