# Late bloomers in college??



## ThsGirlDana (Jul 12, 2013)

Hello,

My name is Dana. So, I'm what I would consider a late bloomer and starting college just made me realise that more. It's moreso in the datimg sense for me but, sometimes I feel like i'm still a child. I'm 19, and I feel like evet since I turned 16/17 I havent grown since. I don't know what it is, I just never 'felt' like anything towards relationships and the whole infatuation stage everyone went.through in.middle school. I would hear people talk about they did this and that, or they feel that or this towards their significant other. Im just like, Ive never been through that and they get all shocked. I'm fine with the way I' am but, why is it such a problem to everyone else???

It's worse when you have people, especially if it's a group start talking about all their experiences, not just sexually, and you feel like all left out with nothing to say. 

I know some things, but I feel like there are aspects of me that have yet to grow, or fully develop. When everyone is talking about sex, drugs, and bfs/gfs and the only thing you can talk are youre favorite shows, and other mundane things. Gets kinda lonely 

So, where are all my late bloomers at? Lol, share your stories, I'd love to hear it


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## glossy95 (Sep 27, 2012)

I know what you mean, I'm 17 but I feel like in my heart I'm still same as when I was like 14. -_-

I used to sit near those kind of friends in class and when they talk, I would only listen to their stories. I wish I could talk to them but idk what to say. 
I'd looked as if I was busy with my study but I was listening all the time. Sometimes I felt like I was never really their friends or they can't see me as their friend.
I only talked when I know the things they were saying, like what u said fav show, new clothes etc. 
I was weird around them but it's totally ok with me, I still had few close friends who's similar to me (but of course less awkward and have more friends).

I hate it when people asking things about relationship though, it makes me feel so stupid because I'd think they are asking me although they know I can't answer them. I feel like being teased all the time.


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## ThsGirlDana (Jul 12, 2013)

glossy95 said:


> I know what you mean, I'm 17 but I feel like in my heart I'm still same as when I was like 14. -_-
> 
> I used to sit near those kind of friends in class and when they talk, I would only listen to their stories. I wish I could talk to them but idk what to say.
> I'd looked as if I was busy with my study but I was listening all the time. Sometimes I felt like I was never really their friends or they can't see me as their friend.
> ...


I can relate to everythin you just said. Its hard being the listener and feeling like an outcast because you 'lack experience' -_-. Sometimes peeps think your weird cause you haven't done anything.

Idk, sometimes I feel like if when I have a relationship, the person would easily get bored of me, or I would put so much into the relationship that I would be ' heart broken, or mistreated' because of that. (someone actually said that.to me.)


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## rickey (Jun 22, 2010)

I find that if you're talking to someone, and you have no clue what they are talking about or never experienced it, there's nothing wrong with asking questions about it. So how does that 'thingy' work? What got you into 'whatever'? Or if someone is talking about their relationship you can ask questions like, How does he or she make you feel? What do you like most about him or her? Questions like that keeps you engaged in the conversation even though you've never shared the experience before. For the most part I dont think it matters what you're talking about, unless it's a topic you're genuinely not interested in. Probably topics like sex and drugs I can understand being stuck in one place and not knowing how to contribute.


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## glossy95 (Sep 27, 2012)

ThsGirlDana said:


> I can relate to everythin you just said. Its hard being the listener and feeling like an outcast because you 'lack experience' -_-. Sometimes peeps think your weird cause you haven't done anything.
> 
> Idk, sometimes I feel like if when I have a relationship, the person would easily get bored of me, or I would put so much into the relationship that I would be ' heart broken, or mistreated' because of that. (someone actually said that.to me.)


Me too o.o 
This is why I keep avoiding people I barely know or acquaintances just because I'm afraid they'd think i'm boring. I stick to the same old friends.


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## ThsGirlDana (Jul 12, 2013)

glossy95 said:


> Me too o.o
> This is why I keep avoiding people I barely know or acquaintances just because I'm afraid they'd think i'm boring. I stick to the same old friends.


What if you're put into a situation where you have to make new friends?


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## glossy95 (Sep 27, 2012)

ThsGirlDana said:


> What if you're put into a situation where you have to make new friends?


Actually I'm in this situation right now.. Just started a tuition class since july but until now I don't think I make new friends. I just focus on my study, and people just talk to me when they wanna know the homework. When it just started I believe most people don't know each other. But a week later they just walk everywhere in a group. But at least I know all of them, just not close enough to be called friends.


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## TSVM15 (Jun 4, 2013)

ThsGirlDana said:


> Hello,
> It's worse when you have people, especially if it's a group start talking about all their experiences, not just sexually, and you feel like all left out with nothing to say.
> 
> I know some things, but I feel like there are aspects of me that have yet to grow, or fully develop. When everyone is talking about sex, drugs, and bfs/gfs and the only thing you can talk are your favorite shows, and other mundane things. Gets kinda lonely


I agree. It's pretty difficult. I'm turning 21 in a couple of weeks and yet I still feel like I'm 18 years old.
Another big thing that's awkward to talk about sometimes is success - personal or academic. I feel like I've achieved so little compared to my friends. I love them to pieces and they tell me I'm intelligent and passionate yet I don't have anything to show for it. Even choosing what I wanted to do in the future took a while for me to choose whereas they had ideas right from the get-go.


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## ThsGirlDana (Jul 12, 2013)

rickey said:


> I find that if you're talking to someone, and you have no clue what they are talking about or never experienced it, there's nothing wrong with asking questions about it. So how does that 'thingy' work? What got you into 'whatever'? Or if someone is talking about their relationship you can ask questions like, How does he or she make you feel? What do you like most about him or her? Questions like that keeps you engaged in the conversation even though you've never shared the experience before. For the most part I dont think it matters what you're talking about, unless it's a topic you're genuinely not interested in. Probably topics like sex and drugs I can understand being stuck in one place and not knowing how to contribute.


I will try this out thanks.


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## ThsGirlDana (Jul 12, 2013)

glossy95 said:


> Actually I'm in this situation right now.. Just started a tuition class since july but until now I don't think I make new friends. I just focus on my study, and people just talk to me when they wanna know the homework. When it just started I believe most people don't know each other. But a week later they just walk everywhere in a group. But at least I know all of them, just not close enough to be called friends.


That' what i'm doing now, i feel like i just want to be on my own, but, when my roommates all come out and talk to each other, have their friends over and stuff and i'm in my room, alone. I think that's where the loneliness starts to creep in and hurt.


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## ThsGirlDana (Jul 12, 2013)

TSVM15 said:


> I agree. It's pretty difficult. I'm turning 21 in a couple of weeks and yet I still feel like I'm 18 years old.
> Another big thing that's awkward to talk about sometimes is success - personal or academic. I feel like I've achieved so little compared to my friends. I love them to pieces and they tell me I'm intelligent and passionate yet I don't have anything to show for it. Even choosing what I wanted to do in the future took a while for me to choose whereas they had ideas right from the get-go.


I can agree withe the success part, sometimes i feel as if i honestly haven't done anything with my life, accomplished anything that is. But, i'll look at the little things ive done and it makes me feel a little bit better. I might not have been a straight A student, or have like an amazing gpa. But, i'm creative, i'm supportive, and i have a great personality. Not awards or anything, but, they are things that me me an amazing person, the little things.


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## Micronian (Nov 11, 2004)

As far as I'm concerned, everyone is a "late bloomer". It's not until you're about 25-26 that you actually feel you can take on the rest of the world, and all its calamities.

Nevertheless...When I was a pledge in my fraternity I used to be amazed at how much older the senior members seemed to appear. How composed they were, well dressed, got high marks, and were very articulate. Meanwhile, I, and many of the others at my residence looked like we still belonged in high school.

By the time I graduated, I became just as mature as my seniors. And I remember, as a senior member of my fraternity, talking to recruits with the same concerns about looking and feeling too young for university. I told them exactly what I say right now: by the time of your senior year you'll have grown up and you'll have totally changed from how you appear now. Don't worry.

Still though, 26 is the real magic number.


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## cc1991 (Apr 23, 2013)

I don't know if I was a late bloomer in the aspect of romantic relationships (however I didn't get my first boyfriend until age 19 and he was/is my first love still). I had crushes throughout middle school and high school (about two or three guys) and had guys tell me they liked me every now and then. I didn't think I was missing much until I turned 17 and really started to assess what I wanted in a relationship and who I wanted to be with.

I felt like a kid when I began college because of my anxiety. I didn't have many friends, a car, a job, and I just felt so ugly compared to everyone else. It really depressed me how different I felt and was treated amongst peers at a large university.

But now I don't feel like a child. I realized I needed to heal the inner me, or the inner child me. She (or I) was in charge of too many adult situations. I set her free this past few days after so many years and I am starting to feel like a 21 year old. I think sometimes we just get "trapped" at a certain age and have to work through transitioning ourselves to the now.


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## glossy95 (Sep 27, 2012)

ThsGirlDana said:


> That' what i'm doing now, i feel like i just want to be on my own, but, when my roommates all come out and talk to each other, have their friends over and stuff and i'm in my room, alone. I think that's where the loneliness starts to creep in and hurt.


But I always think that it's better living at the dorm though. I mean, you have roommates so you could talk to them and become best friends with them? 
I don't live at the dorm, so when I'm home I don't really know who I should talk to.


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