# I'm having a hard time making friends at community college



## superdude123 (Mar 8, 2016)

I started my first year in college since Fall 2015 and I'm currently in my spring semester. For the past seven months, I still have not made one new friend I can regularly hang out with. It's weird because from Kindergarten through 12th grade I was able to make at least one new friend. Here I am in college, I feel very lonely. I'm taking three classes this semester, I go to school five days a week and my classmates just show up to class and just leave school. I'm talking about people my age (18 or 19 year olds), there are grown adults in my class but they have their own lives to deal with (kids, work, etc) which I understand, but I don't see the whole point of befriending them because they're at least 15 years older than me. I've seen college freshmen hanging out with friends they already knew from high school, so I'm guessing they found their true friends and not welcoming new people. For me, I have only one friend I knew since middle school who goes to the same college with me but we've never hung out outside of school. I invited him to the gym with me three times because at Planet Fitness I can bring a guest for free but he has work when I have free time and doesn't seem interested even if both of us has free time (usually Saturdays). But he has time and fun with his other friends and post photos on Instagram which makes me feel left out. We never had each other's phone number ever since 6th grade but I don't want to ask his because I don't want to sound desperate and he'll think I have no friends, and was hoping he would ask for my number first. I don't know whats going on but I'm getting bored of our friendship. Anyway, everytime I go to the cafeteria, I end up eating alone. I seen my classmates (18/19 year olds)) at a table having a good time chatting, I bet they saw me eating alone but ignored me. No one is willing to talk to me while waiting for class to begin. I tried talking to them but they don't seemed interested talking, then it turned into awkward silences and the conversation died within two minutes. Everyone is on their phones texting their friends. I really want to go to a four year college (after I spend two years at CC) where students actually have fun with each other while learning. One time, a friend of mine posted a photo on Instagram of his classmates and professor dressed in halloween costumes in their classroom. Another had their faces painted of the school's color at a home basketball game, while nothing fun happened in my school. My high school classmates are having a great time at their university with friends, while I'm stuck here all sad, bored and alone. If I went straight to a four year university, I guarantee that the first friend I will make would be my college dorm roommate. I tried joining a clubs but none of them seemed interesting. I done everything inside my school by myself. (eating,studying,waiting,etc). My friends from state universities never call or text me to hang out. After graduation, I don't see them anymore which was 8 months ago. I'm really lonely and it's so boring not having friends to hangout. Am I not cool even to hang out with? I was never popular in high school. Right now, all i do is go to school (full time), work (part time), gym, home, do homework and watch TV. I wish I have friends just like that TV Show FRIENDS and How I Met Your Mother. My life is so boring because of this. I literally have no friends in college. Everyone says I'm a nice, cool guy, so what gives? I feel like a loser :crying:


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## Meggiepie (Jan 27, 2016)

I'm in a four year college and for me things aren't any different than what you are experiencing right now. People in four year colleges do the same thing. They stick with the people they knew in high school and don't really try to make new friends or allow others into their groups. There are some ways that you can meet people, like joining a club, but most of the time that doesn't lead to anything and you only end up seeing them at club meetings. Maybe it's just the college I go to, but that's my experience. And I'll be honest with you, most people don't become friends with their roommate. I got really lucky and became friends with mine, but that was not the case with other people that I talked to my freshman year. And my roommates the next year were horrible. So you shouldn't expect to become friends with them. 

I've noticed though that people that have graduated from college are much more friendlier and are easier for me to talk to. I think my problem is that I'm an old soul. I'm not like the people that go to my college. All they want to do is party, and I'm just not into that. Whenever I'm around people that are a little older than me (let's say about 5 years older) I have no problem talking to them and I actually enjoy being around them. Maybe you're the same way. Maybe you should try talking to those people that are a little older than you in your classes, you never know what it could lead to. You could also look into trying to make friends with people outside of your college. Look for a meetup group that interests you and go to it. What about trying to meet people at the gym? My sister works out a lot and she has made a few good friends at her gym.


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## superdude123 (Mar 8, 2016)

I don't drink and no one ever invite me to party anyway. Making friends at the gym sounds pretty hard to me. The fact that there's no one my age while working out, and I don't want to bother a stranger while he or she is exercising too (if there is someone my age)


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## superdude123 (Mar 8, 2016)

Meggiepie said:


> I'm in a four year college and for me things aren't any different than what you are experiencing right now. People in four year colleges do the same thing. They stick with the people they knew in high school and don't really try to make new friends or allow others into their groups. There are some ways that you can meet people, like joining a club, but most of the time that doesn't lead to anything and you only end up seeing them at club meetings. Maybe it's just the college I go to, but that's my experience. And I'll be honest with you, most people don't become friends with their roommate. I got really lucky and became friends with mine, but that was not the case with other people that I talked to my freshman year. And my roommates the next year were horrible. So you shouldn't expect to become friends with them.
> 
> I've noticed though that people that have graduated from college are much more friendlier and are easier for me to talk to. I think my problem is that I'm an old soul. I'm not like the people that go to my college. All they want to do is party, and I'm just not into that. Whenever I'm around people that are a little older than me (let's say about 5 years older) I have no problem talking to them and I actually enjoy being around them. Maybe you're the same way. Maybe you should try talking to those people that are a little older than you in your classes, you never know what it could lead to.  You could also look into trying to make friends with people outside of your college. Look for a meetup group that interests you and go to it. What about trying to meet people at the gym? My sister works out a lot and she has made a few good friends at her gym.


I don't drink and no one ever invite me to party anyway. Making friends at the gym sounds pretty hard to me. The fact that there's no one my age while working out, and I don't want to bother a stranger while he or she is exercising too (if there is someone my age)


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## bemeoryouandme (Mar 31, 2016)

*Get involved!*

Just look for the campus callouts advertising student club. Just go and be present. If you don't meet anyone, _GO AGAIN_, and then again the next week. I was just like you when I started college, but if you get involved you will meet tons of people (maybe not all friends) but you will meet people, lots of them. I just went out and joined the salsa dancing club (to this day that's the only dance I can do b/c I joined that club, lol) You are not going to make instant friends, it happens over time once people in the club get to know you.


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## flyingMint (Aug 31, 2015)

Your post basically sums up how my school is. Right down to the awkward silences and people who have already got their friends from high school. It's really hard. Only difference is I'm at a 4 year school and not a community college. I thought it would be easier in community college but I see thats likely not the case. Well, hopefully we all get to meet some people, I guess.


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## Jamma (Mar 31, 2016)

Ok when I was in college. I really didn't have friends. I would see people from my classes when I got there early to sit outside, and then just ask them what they got on the test or what answer they got on a homework problem. Ask them what other classes they have. This is a great way to just have casual conversation. Talk **** about the teacher and such. Becoming a tutor is another way to talk to new people. This way you can focus on the school work always and then maybe the conversation goes to something else. Joining a club that does community service is good. Try as many new things as possible. Good luck!


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## MisoGirl (Sep 3, 2015)

Ok here's what you do. Walk over to a random group of people that are hanging out. Ask them if you can hang with them. People in community college are pretty chill so they should let you. Then just joke arondd and talk with them. That's how my friend Karl joined out group and it worked lol.


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## superdude123 (Mar 8, 2016)

bemeoryouandme said:


> Just look for the campus callouts advertising student club. Just go and be present. If you don't meet anyone, _GO AGAIN_, and then again the next week. I was just like you when I started college, but if you get involved you will meet tons of people (maybe not all friends) but you will meet people, lots of them. I just went out and joined the salsa dancing club (to this day that's the only dance I can do b/c I joined that club, lol) You are not going to make instant friends, it happens over time once people in the club get to know you.


I tried looking for a club to join, but none of them were interesting. If the school had a skateboarding club, I would definitely join but they don't


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## superdude123 (Mar 8, 2016)

shuckey said:


> Having experience going to both community college and a 4 year university, I actually felt more lonely at the 4 year university.
> 
> When I started going to community college, I hated it man. I was just like you. I felt lonely, I felt isolated, I felt like a loser. Everybody else seemed like they were having so much fun at their 4 year universities, they all seemed like they were doing so much more bigger and better things than I was. But when I started going to a 4 year university, I actually started to miss it.
> 
> ...


I'm sorry to hear about your college life at university. I'm pretty sure, college sophomores and up are able to live off campus if he or she wants to. I hope you talked to your dorm adviser to change roommates or something. But don't worry, things will get better. Thanks for the advice and story


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