# No friends



## karishma (Feb 23, 2011)

I am 22, recent college grad. I haven't had friends in years. Nobody seems to like me. I feel like I have a boring personality and I am worthless. I cry everyday.


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## rerungrl (Feb 7, 2011)

oh no. This struck a chord with me. I used to think this about myself too. And cry...a lot. I have gotten a lot better now that I'm 32. Still, I admit, I wish I was more outgoing, had more friends, and still shed a tear or two about it. 

It's hard but, don't think bad things about yourself. We have to remember those negative thoughts are ours alone. Other people don't think them, we just think they do. 

I can already think of good to say about you...you're 22 and graduated college. That's a great accomplishment! I never finished college.

My suggestion is, even though you've graduated, take a night class one day a week in something that interests you. Usually, there's at least one person that you end up socializing with, and you automatically have something in common because your both in the same class. Even if you don't become friends, it's good practice to small talk. 

What are your interests?


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## karishma (Feb 23, 2011)

I like dance. I am planning on Grad school, that is if I get in. Not sure about anything. I feel like such a failure. I am so negative about everything and I feel worthless.


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## King Moonracer (Oct 12, 2010)

your so lucky to have finished college...im a freshman, and have all these ****ty classes. I just wanna get in and get out...your free, you can go anywhere and meet anyone you want. Just go to a random place and meet random strangers.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

karishma said:


> I am 22, recent college grad. I haven't had friends in years. Nobody *seems* to like me. *I feel like* I have a boring personality and I am worthless. I cry everyday.


You might want to read this again. I know, I had the same issue.

SEEMS....FEEL LIKE.....The first lesson I learned about SA is "how I think determines how I feel".

By saying what you have posted, you are not giving anyone the chance to get to know you. Change the thinking and the rest will follow .


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Sounds much like me, except I'm older and don't cry.

It seems that to have friends it takes common interests. Problem: if you were to list the 100 most common hobbies/interests I'd go through that list and say "not interested" to substantially all of them.


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## owiej (Mar 29, 2009)

I just wrote a massive post and then my computer messed up! So Ill jsut write the basics of what I said:

You sound depressed. so..

-find a goal, something to focus on atm. Hobbie maybe, or a job. For me its revising for exams and getting my business of the ground. It makes me hopeful and excited for the future, keeps my mind busy, gets me out of the house and to the library every day where I'm surrounded by people and sometimes will see someone I know.

-Exercise..it will release brain chemicals that make you happy. Getting your body in shape will improve self esteem and confidence. Being around people may make you feel less lonely (as long as your not too socially anxious).

-Therapy. I am getting therapy soon which I am looking foreward to as I think it will really help. it is a mix of various types like cbt, interpersonal, maybe psychoanalytic. Talking therapy or councelling tho is not good at sorting out the problem I dont think

-Antidepressants. If you feel you need it (and be honest here, dont discount it because taking a pill makes you feel week or broken. its a treatment like any other but just works on the brain). They may also help with social anxiety too.


I have the same problem as you. Im at uni now and have hardly any friends. Quite a few aqaintences, but nobody that I meet up regularly or anything. I know how you feel.


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## sapphire21 (Mar 14, 2011)

Same here. No friends, recent grad and I _did_ decide to go to grad school. I chose an online program. It's great, but I am so isolated now because I have no reason to leave my house (not that I really want to). I wish that I had gone away to school instead, so I might at least have the chance to make a friend or two. Good luck


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## copper (Nov 10, 2003)

Friends what are those? The ones I thought were friends weren't. They were just using me to get something and once they get it they get the heck away from me. I have no desire to make friends anymore. I am tired of all the games that people play.


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## Jade18 (Mar 6, 2011)

same here
everytime I think I found someone nice
or I think I finally found someone to trust again
im always wrong


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## opalsky (Dec 6, 2010)

karishma said:


> I am 22, recent college grad. I haven't had friends in years. Nobody seems to like me. I feel like I have a boring personality and I am worthless. I cry everyday.


 ...I relate, I really do. Karishma - one of the things I found that helped me come to appreciate myself was to more throughly come to understand myself, to explore my thoughts and values and internal worlds. To see my strengths and accept my weaknesses. No body can be perfect, can they? Somebody with a beautiful mind said "maybe we're not human beings, but human _becomings_". See yourself as a disciple of life and you'll learn that life is all about learning and growing. Once you're perfect that's it, there's nothing more, no place to move forward.

Try taking this test: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp and analyse your 'type' and see whether it is true to you or not. This test helped me to look at myself more deeply and coem to appreciate myself more.

very best wishes


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## jagmusic (Oct 18, 2010)

King Moonracer said:


> Just go to a random place and meet random strangers.


Easier said than done. My inability to do this is why I have no friends.


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## ki11rang3r (Mar 15, 2011)

Real friends are your childhood friends. The ones that grew up with you. Trust is built with time. If you don't have any of them left, I'm afraid but it's too late now. Everything is up to The God.


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## confidencelost (Sep 3, 2010)

ki11rang3r said:


> Real friends are your childhood friends. The ones that grew up with you. Trust is built with time. If you don't have any of them left, I'm afraid but it's too late now. Everything is up to The God.


:no <- is all I have to say to that.


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## daniel1989 (Feb 14, 2011)

Make friends with people at work, be friendly to strangers it all adds up.


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## IfWinterEnds (Jun 4, 2010)

Pretty much the same. 22, just graduated. Some people to occasionally hang out with but no close, close friends like I had in high school.


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## vicki (Mar 21, 2011)

i feel the same way!!! I've never had a fried who was with me no matter what. They always seem to disappear "poof"


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## J C (Mar 22, 2011)

Eh, same here. I lost all of my childhood friends when I was forced to move away. Don't feel worthless though, and don't define yourself by how many friends you have if that's the case. You like dancing right? Put your heart and soul into it and make movement into art in your own way, and I'm sure you'll find something very therapeutic in it and will see that you aren't worthless, and that even if you don't have any friends right now you have something that you love, something that does not define you since you are the one making the definition. That's just my opinion anyway. I could be way off base.


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## CultureRebel (Mar 22, 2011)

It's ok to cry. 

I've felt that recently as well losing friends to motorcycle accidents and drugs/and alcohol.

It is sad. Very sad. BUT you can make friends. You just have to give what friends need and you'll receive it back from those who care. It's give and take.

Friendships are like plants: You have to water and feed them in a sense. To keep the friendship alive.

Not everybody is going to love you, no way.

However the ones who do and will? Are special! Treat them as such and odds are you will have some lifelong friends.


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## ErichFranz (May 2, 2010)

karishma said:


> I am 22, recent college grad. I haven't had friends in years. Nobody seems to like me. I feel like I have a boring personality and I am worthless. I cry everyday.


You need to change the way you think about yourself. In high school I felt the same way you did. I basically felt inferior and worthless and that I wasn't good enough.

After high school my mind changed. I started to realize I was just as good as everyone else and superior to the bullies.

It really motivated me to become proactive and it considerably lessened my SAD.


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## overated (Mar 23, 2011)

its okay if every body doen't like you,stop worring so much about being boring,find stuff you like doing and get involved in that,forgee about what you think other people like and nd thinkk about what you like,to wera to do and so on,you'll find the more you become you the easier it would be for you to make friends ,and be careful not every associate is a friend


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## EddieRedfern (Jan 13, 2013)

I am in high school now and every time that I am around people I am left out. If people start a conversation, they gather round and talk and I am the only person that is not involved. I do we'll in my exams so they all came up with the idea that I revise everything. If I am walking in front of them, they say stuff like "oh, have you been revising walking" it's as if they can't stand me. Now, I tend to say away from everyone as anything that I do is commented on. They say I have been revising everything. I feel like I am being bullied but I have no one to talk to about it apart from here.


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## DrumToYourBeat (Jan 22, 2013)

karishma said:


> I am 22, recent college grad. I haven't had friends in years. Nobody seems to like me. I feel like I have a boring personality and I am worthless. I cry everyday.


This sounds familiar to me as well. Just chiming in with support. You'll get there. Try not to blame yourself, it can be really hard to make friends. I'm it's not your personality or anything. Congratulations on your graduation! :clap


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## pbanco (Jan 13, 2013)

That sounds really difficult and overwhelming. I hope you can make
some friends right here.


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