# Give new ideas for Shame-Attack Exercises



## M2E (Feb 10, 2012)

For those who don't know what is a shame-attack exercise, it's basically going out in public and do ridiculous, foolish, non-conventional things while trying not feel ashamed. When you do this repeatly and for a long period of time your anxiety decreases and you care less for what other people might think of you.

There is the famous one that consists in carrying a banana in public as if it were your dog. There is also the one in what you stop someone and tell him: "I just got out the loony bin. What month is it?"

I'm searching for some new ideas to make some more"light" shame-attack exercises. Nowadays I use to go out and ask people for adresses and things like that. The next thing I want to do is stop random people in the street and trying to star a conversation with them and trying to spend as most time as I can talking with every one of them. I'll do something like: "Hi, I'm new in the city, tell me..." or "Hi, my name is X, what's your name?" or just something more random like "hey, do you know something about astronomy, what's that star that is shinning just there?", "Hi, what's the capital of Belarus?". Well, actually I already did sme of these things but not on a dailyl basis.

Please, give me some more ideas. If you have funny ones, please don't keep them from you alone. I discovered that even forcing myself to get into these uncomfortable I can have fun out of them and that's a key, that helps you to keep you doing this uncomfortable things. If you left not only anxious but also bored, you tend to procrastinate.


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## river1 (Jan 12, 2012)

Do this for an hour somewhere downtown..


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## Fruitcake (Jan 19, 2012)

Hahaha.
These would be so much fun if I were more confident.

I know some psychologists who did them as part of their internship.
One of them walked into a cafe on his arms, dragging his legs, and had to act totally normal. He ordered a coffee and declined help from anyone then left the same way as casually as possible.
Another exercise was going into a normal bookstore and asking if they had pornographic magazines or asking for advice on which is better out of "The Joy of Sex" and the Kama Sutra. I don't recommend ones like this because you embarrass the person you are asking and I think it's kinda mean.
Some others I've heard of:
- Going to the beach without shaved legs (for a woman who is embarrassed by this)
- Wearing really silly clothes. Maybe start with something small but noticeable and end up in full ridiculous fancy dress.
- Using a pogo stick around town. Not too weird but it would draw attention to you.

You could get ideas from edbassmaster's youtube videos. He does awkward stuff in public like talking total nonsense to strangers and making farting noises in elevators.


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## UKPhobe (Oct 22, 2008)

Fruitcake said:


> Hahaha.
> *I know some psychologists who did them as part of their internship.*
> One of them walked into a cafe on his arms, dragging his legs, and had to act totally normal. He ordered a coffee and declined help from anyone then left the same way as casually as possible.
> Another exercise was going into a normal bookstore and asking if they had pornographic magazines or asking for advice on which is better out of "The Joy of Sex" and the Kama Sutra. I don't recommend ones like this because you embarrass the person you are asking and I think it's kinda mean.
> ...


Really? Why?

What use would it have for their internship?


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## Fruitcake (Jan 19, 2012)

UKPhobe said:


> Really? Why?
> 
> What use would it have for their internship?


I guess it would help them understand what it's like to do the exercises they are recommending and how the exercises affect people. They were doing a training course on emotional and behavioural therapy and it was offered as a voluntary exercise.


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## jg43i9jghy0t4555 (Jul 31, 2011)

M2E said:


> Please, give me some more ideas. If you have funny ones, please don't keep them from you alone. I discovered that even forcing myself to get into these uncomfortable I can have fun out of them and that's a key, that helps you to keep you doing this uncomfortable things. If you left not only anxious but also bored, you tend to procrastinate.


Oh wow I definitely have to actually do some of these things then:

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Remi+Gaillard








http://french.about.com/od/vocabulary/a/nimportequoi.htm said:


> _C'est en faisant n'importe quoi, qu'on devient n'importe qui !_ (or ..._que l'on devient_...)
> 
> This expression, "It's by doing nonsensical things that you become nonsensical," is the motto of the French prankster and video maker Rémi Gaillard, aka N'importe qui. It's a play on the French proverb _C'est en forgeant qu'on devient forgeron_ (Practice makes perfect, literally "It's by forging that one becomes a blacksmith.")


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## Dr Hobo Scratch MD (Jun 24, 2011)

jg43i9jghy0t4555 said:


> Oh wow I definitely have to actually do some of these things then:
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Remi+Gaillard


HELL YEAH!!!!! thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!!!! any more like this. i love stupid shows like this yaaaaaeah i got something new to watch !!!!


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## M2E (Feb 10, 2012)

:thanksFruitcake!

I don't want to cause any harm to strangers, of course. I just want to force myself to do things which I normaly wouldn't do because of the shame I'd feel while doing them, I don't want to piss off people.

BTW, I think that french guy lacks empathy, he may be a psycho.


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## UKPhobe (Oct 22, 2008)

Fruitcake said:


> I guess it would help them understand what it's like to do the exercises they are recommending and how the exercises affect people. They were doing a training course on emotional and behavioural therapy and it was offered as a voluntary exercise.


Interesting, I wonder if they found it any more frightening then the patients who do it as part of their therapy.

Personally I've long been sceptical as to the usefulness of shame attacking in combating SA, I think it's too limiting and to be honest I think you'd get the same result from taking drama classes or other similar classes without making a complete tit out of yourself in public.


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## ForgetMeForever (May 3, 2011)

An old boss (very outgoing) described this stunt he'd do with a friend:

One person gets in a wheelchair at an airport or other very public place. One person pushes the wheelchair. The person in the wheelchair acts disabled, (talks funny but loudly, twists up their body) and the other person talks really mean to them. Yells, etc. You do this for a while, then switch places.

I can't believe he'd actually do that.

Try this:

Make yourself a really large poster. Write on it something you are embarrassed about, it could simply be "I'M REALLY SHY!" or "HONK IF YOU LIKE SHY PEOPLE!". Walk to a super busy corner and move the sign around and wave to people. You can wear a wig or silly glasses if you want. When you are actually feeling shy, you can hide behind the sign if its large enough and come out when feeling braver. Dance around. Shout to people who are stopped at the corner, "Are you shy too?"

The sign needs to be big enough to hide your face behind at times, but not so large that you have difficulty holding it in a breeze.


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## Fruitcake (Jan 19, 2012)

Haha ForgetMeForever those are hilarious.



UKPhobe said:


> Interesting, I wonder if they found it any more frightening then the patients who do it as part of their therapy.
> 
> Personally I've long been sceptical as to the usefulness of shame attacking in combating SA, I think it's too limiting and to be honest I think you'd get the same result from taking drama classes or other similar classes without making a complete tit out of yourself in public.


The point of it is to be able to deal with not just being conspicuous but being shamed. People could do fine in a drama class but still be unable to cope with doing something embarrassing in public. In shame attack exercises you have to refrain from explaining your embarrassing behaviour and just accept that people are watching you do something embarrassing. Taking drama classes wouldn't have the same effect. I think it helps with feelings people get when they do something embarrassing like self-hatred and guilt. It would teach you to be more accepting of yourself when you do something viewed as wrong or stupid, which most confidence building exercises don't.


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## UKPhobe (Oct 22, 2008)

Fruitcake said:


> Haha ForgetMeForever those are hilarious.
> 
> The point of it is to be able to deal with not just being conspicuous but being shamed. People could do fine in a drama class but still be unable to cope with doing something embarrassing in public. In shame attack exercises you have to refrain from explaining your embarrassing behaviour and just accept that people are watching you do something embarrassing. *Taking drama classes wouldn't have the same effect.* I think it helps with feelings people get when they do something embarrassing like self-hatred and guilt. It would teach you to be more accepting of yourself when you do something viewed as wrong or stupid, which most confidence building exercises don't.


No, I'm not convinced of that. 


Among other things drama classes (or similar) would help a person to develop their fear of embarrassment since in order to perform to an audience you have to risk a great deal of embarrassment, not to mention humiliation. 

It's also worth pointing out that shame attacking is basically a performance in itself. The main different between that and drama classes are that in drama classes you can face that fear in a much more controlled and progressive environment. Shame attacking on the other hand involves you making a fool of yourself in public which can result in a very uncontrolled environment and subsequently result in more strain on the patient. 


Another problem I have with shame attacking is that I believe the results for someone with SA can only ever be limited since actually you're only facing one small area of a person's typical social anxiety. For example making a tit out of yourself in public and having a face to face conversation with a stranger is not the same thing and can often be a totally different fear. 


I can remember one lad on SAUK who tried shame attacking for himself. Unfortunately instead of being useful to him it actually make his condition worse, since it wasn't controlled, and by his own admission any positives were only ever going to be limited anyway. I can't seem to find a link to that comment at the moment, otherwise I'd put it up. 


I've probably rambled a bit so pardon me if I don't make sense.


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## Fruitcake (Jan 19, 2012)

I depends on the patient. I agree with you on most of this because most people would have embarrassments in a drama class and most people with SA are not at the point where shame attacks would benefit more than damage. But I think some people are just fine with acting and do not embarrass themselves doing so, but cannot deal with being shamed in public. Also with drama classes you have to see those same people next week if you mess up.

I think the main difference is that you can go to lots of drama classes without embarrassing yourself and never learning to deal with guilt or embarrassment. I don't really see how a drama class is more controlled than public? You mean people aren't going to outright mock you or abuse you?

Yeah, I don't think shame attacks are recommended as the only form of treatment though, they are only intended to address that one particular issue.

Most people would know what is too much for them to handle. If you want to explain how it got out of control I'd be interested. I would have thought you could just walk away in most places.

Pretty sure this post is more rambling than yours!

On a sidenote, the guy who took the training course where they did the exercises was mostly thought to be too harsh and abrupt about treatment and pushed people too much. Though I'm not sure if most psychologists who recommend shame attacks are like that.


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## V45561N (Dec 4, 2011)

From my personal opinion and experience, I think these shame-attacking exercises (I've tried a few before) can make things worse for you. They just make you feel like an idiot and leave you feeling awkward. 

I believe aiming for more positive interactions with strangers would benefit you more. You'll gain more social confidence this way.


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## lazy (Nov 19, 2008)

if I could change my face anytime I want i would do this


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