# What do you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend?



## pinkflowers (Oct 8, 2008)

Top ten things I look for are: he is a Christian, loyal, mature, responsible, hard-working, family-oriented, honest, kind, generous and patient.


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## Hot Chocolate (Sep 29, 2008)

Boyish charm, financially stable, loyal, loves me a lot, pampers me every now and then, confident, a teacher for me


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## Ignivomous (Mar 31, 2008)

Some qualities I look for: Dirt-poor, airheaded, callous, bitter, jealous, deceptive, stubborn, humorless, treats me like garbage.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

desperate...i kid i kid


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

I just want someone with common personality traits who doesn't annoy me, likes similar movies, is nice to me (note: does not have to be nice to anyone else), isn't a misogynist, has a sense of humor, and can carry at least a somewhat intelligible conversation. A free flowing intestinal tract is a plus, but I'm just splitting hairs now.


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## mountain5 (May 22, 2008)

viewtopic.php?f=65&t=88650



Ignivomous said:


> Some qualities I look for: Dirt-poor, airheaded, callous, bitter, jealous, deceptive, stubborn, humorless, treats me like garbage.


I'm starting to think maybe that's all I can get.


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## Sabreth (Dec 2, 2004)

Intelligence 
Good sense of humor
Logical thinking
Open
Ability to carry on a conversation
Cleverness
Fun loving
Non-religious 
Must love dogs
Lack of crazy ex-boyfriend

At this point I'd take anyone with any of those qualities.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

Kind
Sense of humour
Passionate


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

Good sense of humor
Preferably non-religious or non-Abrahamic. I would make an exception for a REALLY open minded Christian. Loyal
Honest 
Giving
Spontaneous yet grounded
Doesn't want children
Somewhat educated: junior college or trade school
Worldly
Thoughtful
Humble (I detest stuffy guys with egos)
Well mannered
Laid back
Employed
Good hygiene (I want A beau, not BO!)

:mushy I'm probably out of luck!


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## Mnster (Oct 2, 2008)

1. Pretty
2. Colorful eyes
3. Good Personality
4. My age or close
5. Long hair
6. Low maintaince
7. Christian or Non-religious
8. Clean
9. Likes the outdoors and travel
10. Non smoker


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

1. Hot
2. Compatible personality
3. Good fashion sense
4. Has no kids / Doesn't want any
5. Not religious
6. Can support herself financially
7. Prefers staying home / doesn't like to party
8. Is clean and neat
9. Loyal
10. Kinky


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## dullard (Aug 4, 2008)

All I would want is someone whose personality is compatible with mine, shares a few interests with me and maybe has similar taste in music, books, art, movies, etc. Similar taste isn't really necessary but it would be nice.


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## shyguy246 (Apr 27, 2006)

She must be alive, born a female, Canadian citizen between the ages of 18 and 26, she must weigh less than I do and she must be as desperate as me.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

It varies.


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## Solitario (Aug 28, 2008)

I must be physically attracted to her
She should be thinnish
Christian
I must be able to talk to her


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## luminary_pustule (Sep 21, 2008)

Liberal
Doesn't want kids
Doesn't place any grand importance in marriage
Ideally agnostic but must be non-religious
Intelligent
Introverted 
Not a regular drinker/smoker
Sense of humour
Shares most big political/social views/opinions
Shares at least a few of my interests (video games, sf/f books, making music, anime etc...)
Not obsessed with sports
Likes/cares about animals
Selective in who he associates with (as in I don't want to dislike his friends, and doesn't have tons of them.) 
Physically... Long hair and not overweight.


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## dax (Nov 19, 2004)

For physical traits I prefer a cute, smallish girl around 5'1" to 5"4" who looks young for her age, mostly because of my stature (5'9" 160 pounds) and because I look like I'm 19. But I wouldn't refuse to date someone because she didn't fit into this category, so long as she is smaller than me. For personality traits I like shyness, cuteness, someone who is understanding, down to earth, non-political and not overly religious or irreligious (I guess I mean believes in god but isn't really religious), responsible, caring and someone I could trust and not worry about them cheating on me or something, wants to get married and have a kid or two.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

as long as the girl is not overweight, intelligent, cute, caring, has some college education im happy.


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## ah_bon (Oct 12, 2008)

The only requirements I need to have are; 
-in good shape (not fat)
-someone who is really affectionate. *Lots *of cuddling, hugging and kissing
-atheist

Other perks would be... 
-someone who is interested in science and astronomy as much as I am 
-a bookworm 
-someone who likes nature 
-a bit of a rebel 
-I like when girls stand for something risque (political or social views). I don't even care what it is as long as it's something
-420 friendly is a big plus.

Also strangely enough, everything I hate about myself (emotional and social issues) I find attractive in a girl... There's gotta be something to that....

hahaha, it's kinda funny that I actually think I have the right to have any requirements... I should be happy with anything I manage to get... but I'm not


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## ZachAttack (Jan 6, 2008)

I desire a woman that meets all the following criteria, though there are some that I would be willing to compromise on, marked with an asterisk (*).

I would love a woman who loves computers as much as I do.*

She should be moderately attractive.*

She should be nice.

I should be able to talk to her, and she should be able to talk to me.

She must not be a complete nut. I've met several that showed the outward signs: obsession with 9/11 conspiracies, JFK's assassination, etc. SAD, depression, I can deal with. Being completely insane and having completely irrational beliefs about _everything_ I cannot.

I don't mind a difference of opinion in,say, politics, but I would NOT want someone her trumpets views that disagree with mine all the time. I don't want a lot of arguments.


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## MyNameIz (Oct 16, 2007)

I like females with a good sense of humor and I'm a sucker for pretty eyes.


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## Akane (Jan 2, 2008)

We get along well, I like hanging out with them, and I'm attracted to them. I don't care what little things are going on in their life, that our views differ on things like religion, or how much money they have. That's minor to me. No matter what list of individual traits you make you can have a person that matches all those things but you still just don't get along with them for one reason or another. Their personality determines that not their individual views. Odds are if they have a certain view or trait that I really don't get along with their personality is also not a match and I am not attracted to them or don't enjoy hanging out with them anyway. Making lists and eliminating people that don't match everything or only going out with those that match perfectly is not going to help you find someone. Unless your the type that falls for everyone and has a ton of boyfriends lined up that you can't decide between. Most people with SA don't have that situation.


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## RUFB2327 (Sep 28, 2008)

i could make a huge list of traits which would basically be my ideal girl, but thats not realistic to expect to find a girl with all of them

basically, if i get along with a girl, am comfortable around her, and can have a good time than everything is fine with me...being attracted to her is also a plus, but looks arent the most important thing to me


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## MyNameIz (Oct 16, 2007)

Akane said:


> We get along well, I like hanging out with them, and I'm attracted to them. I don't care what little things are going on in their life, that our views differ on things like religion, or how much money they have. That's minor to me. No matter what list of individual traits you make you can have a person that matches all those things but you still just don't get along with them for one reason or another. Their personality determines that not their individual views. Odds are if they have a certain view or trait that I really don't get along with their personality is also not a match and I am not attracted to them or don't enjoy hanging out with them anyway. Making lists and eliminating people that don't match everything or only going out with those that match perfectly is not going to help you find someone. Unless your the type that falls for everyone and has a ton of boyfriends lined up that you can't decide between. Most people with SA don't have that situation.


word, no doubt...*thumbs up*


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

shyguy246 said:


> She must be alive, born a female, Canadian citizen between the ages of 18 and 26, she must weigh less than I do and she must be as desperate as me.


Hah, I like that. Ditto for me, pretty much. Add to that, willing and able to put up with awkwardly quiet moments.


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## nu shoez (Dec 13, 2006)

you males and your "she must be thin" "must weigh less than i do" "can't be fat"...oh my gooooodness, i understand that's ur 'ideal' girl, but still, bigger girls need love too! i don't consider myself fat, but i'm definitely thick and not thin. maybe that's why i've been single all these years, and maybe that's why u guys have been too (besides the friggin sa).i hope u all can overlook the weight issue, cause there's tons of bigger girls who are the nicest people in the world just as there are guys. i just had to point out the fact that 90% of the guys' posts had that in there, but i guess i should expect that since too many guys in the real world have that POV. ugh...

anywho, my list for a guy is he has to be christian, nice smile, great personality, likes arguing, has a stupid/random sense of humor, can get along with my friends and family, is a bit more introverted or at least able to stand not going out ALL the time, someone who i can gain a learning experience from so we're not bored, someone who is patient as i have too much impatience, and i believe that's all....he doesn't need anything physically so long as he's in my age group. looks aren't as important to me, i mean, they can be the most physically unattractive person according to society standards, but if they have an awesome personality, that overshadows and will make them extremely attractive.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

nu shoez said:


> you males and your "she must be thin" "must weigh less than i do" "can't be fat"...oh my gooooodness, i understand that's ur 'ideal' girl, but still, bigger girls need love too!


And what do you have to say about girls who "prefer taller guys"? I understand girls like a tall guy, but shorter guys need love too!...

When you point your finger at someone, there are three fingers pointing back at you.


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## shyguy246 (Apr 27, 2006)

nu shoez said:


> you males and your "she must be thin" "must weigh less than i do" "can't be fat"...oh my gooooodness, i understand that's ur 'ideal' girl, but still, bigger girls need love too! i don't consider myself fat, but i'm definitely thick and not thin. maybe that's why i've been single all these years, and maybe that's why u guys have been too (besides the friggin sa).i hope u all can overlook the weight issue, cause there's tons of bigger girls who are the nicest people in the world just as there are guys. i just had to point out the fact that 90% of the guys' posts had that in there, but i guess i should expect that since too many guys in the real world have that POV. ugh...
> 
> anywho, my list for a guy is he has to be christian, nice smile, great personality, likes arguing, has a stupid/random sense of humor, can get along with my friends and family, is a bit more introverted or at least able to stand not going out ALL the time, someone who i can gain a learning experience from so we're not bored, someone who is patient as i have too much impatience, and i believe that's all....he doesn't need anything physically so long as he's in my age group. looks aren't as important to me, i mean, they can be the most physically unattractive person according to society standards, but if they have an awesome personality, that overshadows and will make them extremely attractive.


I agree. I'm one of the people who said "must weigh less than I do" and I kinda regret it cause it's not true. I think it depends on whether or not I already know the girl. If I already know a girl and think she's awesome, it wouldn't matter about her weight but if I saw a stranger, I'm more quick to be attracted to a girl with a smaller figure. I'm sure a lot of girls feel that way too about guys, which is why I am single lol.


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## nu shoez (Dec 13, 2006)

ha, i think that's BS too...i mean, i dated a short dude, so he had love....anybody who has their physical preferences needs to get their priorities checked and reversed. i didn;t mean to come off as a jerk and i know everyone has their own preferences and might point fingers or argue about what i have as my preferences, but i guess since i have a little bit of self-esteem issues that i found it a bit insulting that a lot of guys had that physical quality, being thin. mostly because i know tons of guys in the real world have that preference too which just makes it harder for all the BBW women to get good relationships....not saying they DON'T, it's just a bit harder. like if i went out with my best friend to a club/mall, she'd get sooooooo much attention and i'd only get the leftover attention since i'm her friend, for example, cause she looks like a friggin model. so i'll admit, it's my bad for coming off like that, but u have to understand my pov.....end.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

nu shoez said:


> ha, i think that's BS too...i mean, i dated a short dude, so he had love....anybody who has their physical preferences needs to get their priorities checked and reversed.


I can understand it when a thin, athletic guy says he wants a thin and athletic girl, because they would probably enjoy doing physical activities together and it often reflects common interests. He's into working out, so it just seems plausible (to me, at least) that he would go after women who are equally into fitness. I like working out, so I'd, ideally, like a guy who would want to work-out, box/spar with me, or something, because it would be fun and I would hope he would enjoy the workout, too. I would date an overweight guy as well, and have no reservations about it at all; I wouldn't deny myself the chance to date someone I really like simply because he's carrying a few extra pounds. What gets me are the guys who are, themselves, overweight, but claim that they'll date a girl _only_ if she isn't overweight. I don't know, it just seems hypocritical to me. Like, the guy can basically look like Louie Anderson or Wilford Brimley, but he has super high expectations of his mate and she essentially has to be Jessica Alba. Well, people like what they like, I guess.


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## luminary_pustule (Sep 21, 2008)

You can't force yourself to be attracted to an overweight person for example if that's not what you're into just so you won't seem like a jerk.

Being physically attracted is part of liking someone, and just because someone has physical preferences doesn't mean they think it's the _only_ thing that matters or that they're shallow. Like it or not it can have a reflection on your personality too because everyone isn't born exactly how they might make themselves look in the future beause of the way they choose to live their lives. Also, maybe someone doesn't want to go out with someone who looks sickly and emaciated, or that they may die of a heart attack at any second.


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## sheppard2005 (Oct 9, 2008)

A pulse!
(No, I'm so sorry, I jest. I don't really want to think about that stuff right now. But I couldn't resist. Hee!)


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## taylor (Sep 29, 2008)

i dont even kno what 2 look for anymore. at this point i just wana find a guy that isnt extremely jealous or controlling like my ex who tried to control my life and is still trying too. its so hard to find a decent guy that wants more than 2 just get in my pants


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## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

goodness, intelligence and understanding, and some other nice stuff I don't the words for. You can be the most physically beautiful woman in the world but if you don't have at least some of that, I don't really care.


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## Attica! Attica! (Oct 8, 2008)

Ideally, an introvert with a fun personality and no SA, but who understands me and my issues. Tolerant of massive mood swings, lol! Someone who doesn't take things too seriously, and can laugh stuff off. non smoker, similar political beliefs, not strictly religious. Someone with whom I can enjoy comfortable silence! Also, he would look astonishingly similar to a young Al Pacino... 

In reality, anyone with whom I'm comfortable around, and who is very tolerant and understanding.

_Either_ way, It'll be a while before I find anyone! :b :roll


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## X33 (Feb 13, 2005)

I prefer someone who shares my background. She must have goals in life (need not be "grand" goals, just something), be friendly, understanding, positive, encouraging, have a good nature. We should be able talk openly w/o hesitation (basically be a good friend w/ good character). Different viewpoints is preferred. I am not very opinionated but I like exploring/arguing different viewpoints. Also must be passionate about what she believes in. Plus there has to be some level of physical attraction.

First time I have given this topic this much thought, doesn't it say how naive I am when it comes relationship matters


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## lonelysoul1980 (Jul 26, 2008)

Well..

She has to be pretty...sorry I'm a bit shallow.(I've tried being a BF to someone I didn't entirely find attractive, and even though I became quite emotionally attached to her, I couldn't commit nor show her "affection" and that was totally unfair)

A perky girl that always has a smile on her face....that understands my issues with opening up but is always encouraging me. Someone with a lot of patience, a tender heart, and 100% genuine.

A beautiful person.

So my complete opposite, lol.


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

Someone who understands my SA and who is willing to be patient with me, who always seems happy / stays positive, who is open and genuine. Someone who would rather ride bikes and go on walks, than go to restaurants and parties/clubs.


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## Zen Mechanics (Aug 3, 2007)

I like a girl thats

- Is attractive
- Not fat
- Short
- Black Hair
- Has a good sense of humour
- Good taste in music
- Likes to go out and dance and stuff
- Has an open mind about trying new things, music whatever
- Not religious 
- Affectionate

luckily i somehow managed to find a girl with all these qualities!


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

- Someone who's tolerant of my inexperience with relationships and sex, and is willing to teach me, or is inexperienced herself and we're able to learn things together
- Someone who's pretty, but doesn't have to be drop dead hot, just as long as she's cute to me
- Is a bit of an introvert, or at least not so outgoing that we don't have anything in common
- Incredibly artistic and intelligent, and a bit eccentric herself
- A bit of a nerd
- Into the same things I am (movies, music, books, etc)
- Is kindhearted and cares about people
- She can be chubby, but not grotesquely overweight, as I can't imagine being attracted to someone like that

I'd say that those are the only things I really look for.


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## charlie1 (Oct 16, 2008)

I am looking for a girlfriend whose is always honest,loyal and always speaks whatever is on her mind to me.These are the only things that which i want in my girlfriend but unfortunately i dont't have one because i could'nt find the girl with these qualities up untill now. :yes

=====================

charlie

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com


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## pariahgirl (Mar 26, 2008)

-a bit of a nerd
-no kids
-kind, thoughtful
-romantic
-aggressive
-opinionated
-takes care of themselves
-independent
-loyal
-open
-good sense of humor, able to joke around
-good job
-intelligent
-not self absorbed 
-optimistic
-always wants to try new things


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## sno (May 27, 2008)

What i would look for...

Communicative, nerdy, determined, sweet, selfless, cute, funny, smart, trust-worthy, and clean. (ie: No drugs, no STD's.)


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

If I were looking for one I'd want someone nice, honest, funny/good sense of humor, at least average looking, likes my kinda music, loves horror movies, animal lover and of course they'd have to be ok with my baby too.


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## RubyTuesday (Aug 3, 2007)

I'd go for a guy who wasn't hung up on looks; since I find this kind of boring. I'd basically want someone who I'm just absolute best friend's with and with whom we could forget about whether one or the other, say, had a big nose or was overweight. 

I'd want someone, who I'd basically feel was my "soul mate". -Great chemistry ...don't really know how else to describe it. But we have to really really click at a gut level.

Also, I don't want someone with whom I feel I need to hide my anxiety from -NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

...I also recently seemed to have developed a penchant for environmental entrepreneurs (guys with big and innovative ideas to save the environment -but, good practical ideas) and guys who are just really into nature like conservationists ...they just seem soooooooo darn sexy!!!!!!!


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

RubyTuesday said:


> I'd go for a guy who wasn't hung up on looks; since I find this kind of boring. I'd basically want someone who I'm just absolute best friend's with and with whom we could forget about whether one or the other, say, had a big nose or was overweight.


Sounds perfect to me. Where do I sign?


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## person86 (Aug 10, 2006)

I'd like a girl who isn't an irritating ****, or is at least able to hide the fact that she is.

Also, it helps if she's halfway decent looking.

Is this too much to ask?


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Yes, Save The Dolphins are a NO-NO!
I do NOT want to be a walking Valtrex commercial.
"I have genital herpes, but don't want to give them away" uke.


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## person86 (Aug 10, 2006)

I have no idea what you just said, but I'm disappointed to learn that the answer is "Yes." :blank


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## VCL XI (Jan 19, 2004)

sheppard2005 said:


> A pulse!


That's what I was going to say, but then I thought, "Well, beggars can't be choosers."


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## RubyTuesday (Aug 3, 2007)

person86 said:


> I'd like a girl who isn't an irritating ****, or is at least able to hide the fact that she is.
> 
> Also, it helps if she's halfway decent looking.
> 
> Is this too much to ask?


...for me it is!! ...well, sort of!!

First off: I don't like anyone who uses the "C" word -pisses me off. It does!

And, like I said, I ain't bothered much with men who are focussed more on looks than personality.

So, sorry, but for me: it would be asking too much. It just would.


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## RubyTuesday (Aug 3, 2007)

millenniumman75 said:


> Yes, Save The Dolphins are a NO-NO!
> I do NOT want to be a walking Valtrex commercial.
> "I have genital herpes, but don't want to give them away" uke.


...I absolutely ADORE guys who are out to "Save the Dolphins"...

-namely: guys like Dorjee Sun

http://www.theburningseasonmovie.com/characters/dorjee-sun/dorjee-discusses-making-money/p/199

...and others with novel ideas and ambitions/passions like him.


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## quietgal (Oct 18, 2007)

Someone who is kind, giving, and protective, and who will treat me well. A gentleman who is polite and respectful, not crass or conceited.


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## dax (Nov 19, 2004)

One thing I haven't seen anyone mention is affection- do you like someone who is more affectionate or who "gives you your space." I personally like someone who is very affectionate.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

person86 said:


> I'd like a girl who isn't an irritating ****, or is at least able to hide the fact that she is.
> 
> Also, it helps if she's halfway decent looking.
> 
> Is this too much to ask?


This is disappointing. We just aren't meant to be. I am an undeniably irritating ****, and I probably look more like I've rotted halfway in a canal for several days. Unless you're into that sort of thing -caustic, acerbic chicks who look like the Black Dahlia post-maiming; if so, look me up.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

dax said:


> One thing I haven't seen anyone mention is affection- do you like someone who is more affectionate or who "gives you your space." I personally like someone who is very affectionate.


Gives me space. So much space. I love my space.


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## JaiUnSoucis (Oct 22, 2008)

sshheee muuusst beee

1.hot
2.thin
3.shorter than I (5'7" or under.. preferably)
4.beautiful foreign accent (european, middle eastern, asian, australian)
5.non-religious
6.opinionated
7.markedly different from everyone around her.. (but not weird!)
8.intellegent
9.very well dressed (hiigh fasion sense)
10.very well groomed

man i just realised how picky and shallow i am..


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## person86 (Aug 10, 2006)

Drella said:


> This is disappointing. We just aren't meant to be. I am an undeniably irritating ****, and I probably look more like I've rotted halfway in a canal for several days. Unless you're into that sort of thing -caustic, acerbic chicks who look like the Black Dahlia post-maiming; if so, look me up.


I'd do you for the lulz.

Surely that counts for something?


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## RubyTuesday (Aug 3, 2007)

person86 said:


> I'd do you for the lulz.
> 
> Surely that counts for something?


Drella's hot.


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## person86 (Aug 10, 2006)

RubyTuesday said:


> Drella's hot.


So I've heard.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

I clean up pretty nicely when I shave my back hair.


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## ANCIENT (Aug 9, 2005)

-knows how to cook.
-has a good sense of humor/funny
-cute
-likes to try new music. someone that doesn't listen to the same old music all the time.
-kind

i'm not that picky.


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## fieldsofhues (Apr 2, 2012)

I think I want someone who is artistic or at least has a penchant for art; I honestly don't what is my "type'


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## W A N D E R L U S T (Oct 2, 2012)

Can speak/understand 20+ languages. Yes.


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

Emotional support. Empathy when it comes to needs. A certain je ne sais quoi. Just being there when needed and never emotionally compromising. Understanding, loving, kindness, care. Warmth. That's a lot to ask for, but its out there somewhere.


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## Laughing Fox (Jul 9, 2014)

Sabreth said:


> Intelligence
> Good sense of humor
> Logical thinking
> Open
> ...


wow, this is spot on with my own traits I look for


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

coeur_brise said:


> Emotional support. Empathy when it comes to needs. A certain je ne sais quoi. Just being there when needed and never emotionally compromising. Understanding, loving, kindness, care. Warmth. That's a lot to ask for, but its out there somewhere.


Yeah, this + someone that's like-minded & sexy!


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

big penis




































:b


introverted
open-minded
similar hobbies (nerdy) 
similar ideals/morals
similar level of intelligence


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## x Faceless x (Mar 13, 2011)

To be a Christian, have social anxiety, be into video games, someone affectionate, someone nerdy, someone who is a nice and caring person, and an overall compatible personality to mine.


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

Oh yeah, and I want them to be devoted to me.


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