# I want to be able to engage females in conversation



## Beast And The Harlot (Jun 14, 2015)

Mods, please lock.


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## stewartmays1 (Dec 6, 2014)

good luck in your quest


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

If you can talk to men, you can talk to women bro. THey will fake laugh at everything whereas guys will just blow you off.

Good luck m8. u got this


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

The first step would probably be thinking of them as 'women' instead of 'females'. They're just like you except with different reproductive parts.


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

Hey, that's a really tough thing to do. Not just talking to a woman, but talking to a complete stranger you know nothing about, especially in an elevator. Don't feel bad, most people wouldn't do that. Think about your life and routines a bit more, and find out where you would be most likely to meet women who would *want* to talk. It might be easier to join groups, or meetup events.


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## Beast And The Harlot (Jun 14, 2015)

lisbeth said:


> The first step would probably be thinking of them as 'women' instead of 'females'. They're just like you except with different reproductive parts.


I use the term female to refer to everyone of the opposite sex. Just...saying women or woman feels wierd to me. I guess it makes me feel old, I dunno lol.


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## SilkyJay (Jul 6, 2015)

Beast And The Harlot said:


> I use the term female to refer to everyone of the opposite sex. Just...saying women or woman feels wierd to me. I guess it makes me feel old, I dunno lol.


I was actually going to quote lisbeth and explain why it's does feel weird to many men, guys, boys, whoever. to say the word Women. Especially guys with less experience. I find myself saying girls more, ladies, and I guess women, but then I look at it like ahh, what do I know about women? Who am i kidding to use the word women. haha. I completely understand and agree with her though, practice getting rid of the word female... even though I absolutely didn't think you meant it in a bad way. 

Before you know it, you'll be chatting up women. Keep at it, get in that elevator next time!


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

Beast And The Harlot said:


> I use the term female to refer to everyone of the opposite sex. Just...saying women or woman feels wierd to me. I guess it makes me feel old, I dunno lol.


It's not proper but it's really not a big deal, especially not on the internet. I think what she really meant was just to try not to see women as being so different from you. We're all just human after all, we think mostly the same things, we have mostly the same fears. Just don't try to 'figure women out' or make the conversation into a game that you're trying to win, just talk like you're both people.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

Beast And The Harlot said:


> I use the term female to refer to everyone of the opposite sex. Just...saying women or woman feels wierd to me. I guess it makes me feel old, I dunno lol.





Yajyklis10 said:


> I was actually going to quote lisbeth and explain why it's does feel weird to many men, guys, boys, whoever. to say the word Women. Especially guys with less experience. I find myself saying girls more, ladies, and I guess women, but then I look at it like ahh, what do I know about women? Who am i kidding to use the word women. haha. I completely understand and agree with her though, practice getting rid of the word female... even though I absolutely didn't think you meant it in a bad way.
> 
> Before you know it, you'll be chatting up women. Keep at it, get in that elevator next time!


"Girls" works too if you're uncomfortable with "women". Heck, even the dreaded "chicks" is better than "females". It just makes it sound like you're narrating a nature documentary talking about a non-human species. I never see men on this site saying "Yesterday I saw this male..."


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## SilkyJay (Jul 6, 2015)

lisbeth said:


> "Girls" works too if you're uncomfortable with "women". Heck, even the dreaded "chicks" is better than "females". *It just makes it sound like you're narrating a nature documentary talking about a non-human species*. I never see men on this site saying "*Yesterday I saw this male...*"


:laugh: Very well put.


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## Beast And The Harlot (Jun 14, 2015)

I use male...

*awkward silence*


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## IlIlIlIrlpoloIlIlIlI (Feb 5, 2012)

A lot of it comes down to nerves. Take a deep breath, relax. The more you do it the more comfortable you'll get. Start off saying something that applies to both of you in the situation, or just How are you doing? After you say something if she doesn't seem interested in talking, well you don't have to say anything else. Rinse and repeat until you find a girl who wants to talk and go from there. I've struggled with this as well and hope my experience can be of some help to you. The idea is, like others have said, to treat the conversation how you would with a guy, talk like your just passing the time, see if you have anything in common, and if things go south get awkward whatever just start texting on your phone or say g2g.


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## Beast And The Harlot (Jun 14, 2015)

Well.. I'm not off to a good start at all. 

Anytime I get anywhere near woman/girls/whatever, I completely freeze up and don't go through with it. I'm absolutely terrified of speaking to them.

I don't know what to do.


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## Beast And The Harlot (Jun 14, 2015)

I have made a bit of headway into intiating my goal. I have decided I'm going to apply for my city's college. My cousin goes there and she told me it's a great place for me to meet people. 

I was already thinking of going college and to do that elsewhere, but now I've decided to just say "Screw it" and go here. Way more convenient and less stressful than moving to a new place. It's a great college and is pretty big, so plenty of people to meet. 

This will be the perfect opportunity for me to have the chance to talk to a female.


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## Hayman (Dec 27, 2014)

I feel I have made improvements in talking to ladies over the last five years, since I changed jobs and found myself in an office with six of them! I've literally had no other choice but to force myself just to get along. This is one area where I know and I feel I have at least taken at least a step forwards – and I'm proud to say I've had no external help in doing so. I've just 'learnt' to. 

I feel my eye-contact has improved (it's still not brilliant but notably better than it used to be) and I can hold at least very brief conversations with ladies these days. The trouble is that they don't really want to talk back to me…! This is the trouble I've had right from day one and is partly the reason why I remain shy around them. I need positive vibes back if I'm to be motivated/confident to do more.


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## MoonlitMadness (Mar 11, 2013)




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## Beast And The Harlot (Jun 14, 2015)

MoonlitMadness said:


>


Uhm...okay?


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## Beast And The Harlot (Jun 14, 2015)

Well, I've given up on this and it seems I'm not going to get any more advice/support (like there was any to begin with), so can the powers that be please lock this thread? Thanks.


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## IlIlIlIrlpoloIlIlIlI (Feb 5, 2012)

I was talking to this girl tonight and it was all good, we were joking around, but then when everyone was going outside I avoided it because I couldn't think of what I wanted to talk to her about and of course regretted it. All I had to do was go out there and chill and let her bring up stuff, got such bad nerves. Fortunately I'll prolly see her around again.


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## MoonlitMadness (Mar 11, 2013)

Beast And The Harlot said:


> MoonlitMadness said:
> 
> 
> >
> ...


I thought you wanted to talk to females? I am.one. You could have made a comment about the video. You want to talk to females but you have nothing to say to them?

I posted the video because when people refer to women as "females" it just reminds me of a wildlife documentary.

Why do you want to talk to these females then? To make friends? Feel better about yourself? To get laid?

They are just people.


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## Beast And The Harlot (Jun 14, 2015)

MoonlitMadness said:


> I thought you wanted to talk to females? I am.one. You could have made a comment about the video. You want to talk to females but you have nothing to say to them?
> 
> I posted the video because when people refer to women as "females" it just reminds me of a wildlife documentary.
> 
> ...


Okay, yeah...But you posted a stupid video and trolled my thread, so I'm not sure what your point is.

When did I say I have nothing to say to them? All I said was I have trouble talking to the opposite gender...due to an extreme lack of self-esteem and confidence. Maybe I should've kept the o.p...

Wow...of course you'd think I'd want to accomplish this just to have sex. That's _totally_ the reason why. :roll

Woah! You mean to tell me females are...p-people?! Man, I didn't know that. I really learned something today.


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

When talking to a woman rather than a man, what's the first thing you notice that you feel differently? Do you feel intimidated by women? That's pretty common, so maybe this will give you a starting point so you can figure this out. Maybe you're just not genuinely interested and are forcing conversation. IDK...it's probably something you're feeling that's affecting the way you're acting. Don't know what to suggest other than to look them as someone you _want_ to talk to rather than someone you _have_ to talk to.

BTW, you're showing a little unnecessary aggression towards *MoonlitMadness*. Does this have anything to do with the fact she is a woman? Maybe there's some kind of underlying issue there.


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## Beast And The Harlot (Jun 14, 2015)

jsgt said:


> When talking to a woman rather than a man, what's the first thing you notice that you feel differently? Do you feel intimidated by women? That's pretty common, so maybe this will give you a starting point so you can figure this out. Maybe you're just not genuinely interested and are forcing conversation. IDK...it's probably something you're feeling that's affecting the way you're acting. Don't know what to suggest other than to look them as someone you _want_ to talk to rather than someone you _have_ to talk to.
> 
> BTW, you're showing a little unnecessary aggression towards *MoonlitMadness*. Does this have anything to do with the fact she is a woman? Maybe there's some kind of underlying issue there.


"Unnecessary aggression"? Lol, How was anything I said aggressive? This user comes into my thread and starts making generalizations toward me and being accusatory. I'm just defending myself. There is no "underlying issue", so your Freudian threats aren't going to work on me, son. Nice keyboard-white knighting, by the way.

As for your post...yes, I feel intimated by them. I feel threatened and weak. Like I don't exist. I get on better with males (the rare times I had to do so). Females are too defensive and confrontational, from my personal experience and observations (as showcased in this thread). Everyone who ever tried to befriend me or just be a solid human-being toward me, were male. Females? Nope. They see me as an ugly, disgusting creep...even though I'm generally quiet, never say anything to anyone and keep to myself and had a friendly demeanor.

So...


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

You were being pretty sarcastic...and sarcasm can be taken as aggression, so...just IMO. Anyway, yeah...some women are the way you mention. Some men are too...but you just have to overlook these types of people and not judge an entire gender based on the actions of a few. Women aren't all doom and gloom...talking to them can affect you in a way that talking to a man can't.

*edit* Oh...you edited your post. Now I understand why you're having trouble talking to women. I won't offer any more advice other than this. *Good luck...you're going to need it!*


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## Beast And The Harlot (Jun 14, 2015)

Right...

...How can I "overlook" anything when this is all that I see? I'm just a hated person, it doesn't matter where I am. I'm especially hated by females, because...something, I don't freaking know, man. 

Lol...what do you mean by "Woman aren't all doom and gloom...talking to them can affect you in a way that talking to a man can't."? What kind of hippie nonsense is that?

...Well, scared you off, did I? Heh. Walk on home, boy.


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## Beast And The Harlot (Jun 14, 2015)

So, seeing as how I've been nothing but ganged-up on and accused of things, again I ask...mods, could you PLEASE lock this thread? Thanks.


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