# I Just Withdrew from College



## FakeFur (Nov 4, 2009)

Today I withdrew from all of my classes. The deadline was tomorrow. I did this because I was failing almost all my classes, and my overall GPA from my 2yrs in college is a 3.4, and I knew this semester would destroy that. So I decided to just leave altogether.

My parents don't even know about this. 

They will though. And they're going to be SOOOO mad at me. It's been a long while since I've done something this bad.

I felt like I had to though. This semester I lost all motivation and ambition I had left, and have been very unhappy. I never studied, was late to classes, was skipping classes, missing assignments, I've been doing terribly. 

Last year's fall semester, my GPA for that semester was a 3.8. And for the spring semester before it, my semester GPA was a 3.9. My Spring 2011 semester is when I started to do bad. And now it's gotten to this point. 

In no way am I happy about this decision. 

I feel like a loser. A failure. A disappoint. Stupid. An idiot. Useless. I feel so bad and terrible. I feel like, what am I even doing with my life? If I'm a failure at everything and have no motivation or enthusiasm for anything, why am I even here? I hate myself so much. I feel so depressed and purposeless. 

I have an opportunity to get an education, to do something with my life, but I'm ruining it. What's wrong with me? Why can't I be one of those super motivated, ambitious, hard-working type students that always do well? Instead I'm unmotivated, lazy, uninterested in anything, and am just a failure.

I definitely am gonna go back to school next semester though, I want to go back. I hope things are better then. I may go to the nearby community college. I don't know what the hell I'm going to do, but just hope it works out.

Has anyone else felt similarly, or has done the same thing?


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## Funkadelic (Oct 6, 2010)

Yes, I made a thread about dropping out a few months ago, too. I was totally disappointed with myself for just leaving. I know the feeling very well.  You should go back when you can, but prioritise overcoming your personal issues (like SA) first. If you have genuine issues, then it's not your fault, don't call yourself a loser. Just work on bettering yourself as soon as you can, is all I can suggest.


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## kos (May 19, 2009)

Left college early my first try, failed college my second try, didn't finish college my third try. It's not the end of the world. You should try to find work though so you're not staying at home all day dwelling.


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## LeftyFretz (Feb 12, 2011)

Hahaha I know where you are coming from. I dropped out before winter break of 2010. Moved back home 1,200 miles, left my girlfriend, buncha good friends, florida sun. 

Took me a good year to stop kicking my *** about it. But hey, got a great job in the city, awesome friends, and heck, I don't regret a thing anymore. 

You'll find yourself. Just don't be a miserable **** about it.


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## holdingon (Nov 9, 2011)

Don't make such a big deal about it. It's just one semester and you are still very young. I think most normal people have these very unmotivated times. I too had a couple quarters where I was so unmotivated and tired of school though I never dropped out. I probably should've dropped 1 or 2 classes though. My gpa did go down during these quarters but I picked them back up in the other quarters. I think its a good idea to withdraw from school for a semester and regain motivation for the next semester rather than to fail or do poorly in your classes. Unfortunately for me, I am in graduate school now and unmotivated in my first semester. There are more serious consequences if I fail/withdraw in grad school than in undergrad. I'm just holding on until the storm passes and hoping I survive.


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## topmid (Oct 24, 2011)

I did the same thing this semester. I had two classes and I dropped one before the deadline and stopped going to the other one last week... I was doing pretty well at the beginning though, I didn't miss any classes, took lots of notes, and completed all my assignments. 

I decided to quit my overnight job because I hated it, wasn't getting any sleep, and I had an important essay due in two days and had to work both days. Well, instead of using those two days to write the essay, I waited until the day it was due to start and that was a mistake because I didn't know the information at all and had to write 7 pages in 4 hours. I withdrew because I would fail if I didn't turn it in.

I was actually doing okay in the other class though. I had a B and only skipped 2 or 3 times. Only thing is, I didn't really participate at all and did all my assignments the day they were due. I eventually stopped doing my work and realized I would fail so I just stopped going.

Now I am unemployed and a dropout. I am shocked out how I got into this position because the last few years I've maintained a pretty good GPA while working 40 hours a week. I don't know what made me lose all my motivation but all I can do is hope next semester will be better. Good luck to you as well.


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## SketchyA (Oct 3, 2011)

I felt completely useless when I dropped out of my master's. I am now making a career in a completely unrelated field. Things will get better if you hang in there. Good luck!


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## FakeFur (Nov 4, 2009)

Thank you everyone who has responded so far. 

I am working part time right now as a cashier. This is the first time I've ever worked. Plus my school work has doubled since last year, since I've transferred to a new college.

I feel like part of what makes me feel unmotivated is that I'm unhappy. And the main reason I'm unhappy is my social anxiety, which results in my lack of friends and my missing out on many experiences. Not having friends and missing out makes me incredibly depressed. 

Being able to have those things is what I feel like would make me happy. And if I can't have those things and be happy, then it's like, what's the point of studying, and doing something I dread? Studying and getting good grades are important and whatever, but honestly they're not what's most important to me. 

What's most important to me is being able to meet people, make friends, experience things, and have some fun. And then I would study on the side to maintain my grades too. Perhaps it'd be easier to study, since I wouldn't be as unhappy. What sucks is that I see people around who do exactly that. They have friends and an active, fun social life, in addition to maintaining their grades. 

College is more than just preparing for a career for me. I want to do the things that other people do as well. That would make me happy. But my social anxiety always holds me back. At this point it feels so impossible to make actual friends. Like it just can't EVER happen for me.

And since it can't happen for me, I feel like I can't ever be happy. 
....and then my sadness causes me to feel unmotivated and get bad grades.

The fact that I'm unsure about my major (Nursing) also makes me feel unmotivated. And plus my workload has drastically increased, which made me feel very overwhelmed.


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## The Silent 1 (Aug 21, 2011)

I'm in the exact same boat as you are. I've always done good in school, but for various reasons, some relating to my SA, I became miserable the last two sememsters. I stopped going to class a lot, stopped doing work, and just lost all motivation to do anything. I have now dropped out and have no clue as to what I want to do next. I might go back to school, but my GPA isn't very good so I'll have a hard time applying. I wish I could just get a job and move out far away from home, but getting a good job without a degree is hard. I feel like I've ruined my life in a lot of ways and I see little chance of being happy no matter what direction I go in.


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

My overall GPA is 1.9. :/

Because of a stupid learning disability.


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## Ilio (Jul 16, 2009)

I have been trough that too. I even skipped a year beacause of my SA. 
Talk about it with your parents. I am sure they will understand. It is almost impossible to study when you are depressed. 
Work on your problems and you will be back next semester stronger then you were before!


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## CoolUnderFire (Oct 11, 2011)

It seems you lack motivation, that's all.

Just think about the end goal. Think about where it is you want to see yourself in 4-5 years down the road.

And then you might recognize the importance of putting in more effort, because you know it is what needs to be done to get to where you want to be.


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## ainsleigh (Dec 6, 2011)

You are absolutely not stupid and dumb!

Steve Jobbs dropped out and he didnt turn out so bad 



. Watch his address....its very inspirational.

The truth is a lot of the world's most successful businessmen had no formal education. Formal education has a lot of flaws and is very outdated. It may still have some value but its not imperative. Whats more important is you - your drive, determination, your creativity, your personality, your passion....not the piece of paper, not the grades, not pleasing other people.

The most important thing is to find what you love to do. Even if you must take another job on the side, do what you love. Don't let society, your parents, or your friends dictate what you spend everyday of your life doing.

Find what makes you come alive.

I studied law. I suffered anxiety and panic attacks throughout but I graduated. But I felt empty at graduation even though I had done well. I ended up doing a job completely unrelated to my law studies and am now doing a completely unrelated job and traveling the world. I have time to pursue the things I love to do even though I don't love my paid job. I feel so much more fulfilled. I feel full of life. I wake up happy. I go to sleep happy. This is my wish for you also.

Give yourself time, space, patience and quiet to find your passion. Life is too short for anything else.

Wishing you all the very best! 
_________

http://ains-leigh.blogspot.com/


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## lonelyjew (Jan 20, 2010)

I'm sorry to hear that. Try not to get too stressed, you can't undo what is done, and you made the right move, because withdrawing is better than failing. A lot of people have a bad semester, there isn't anything wrong with you. You're not a loser. You're not stupid.



FakeFur said:


> What's most important to me is being able to meet people, make friends, experience things, and have some fun. And then I would study on the side to maintain my grades too. Perhaps it'd be easier to study, since I wouldn't be as unhappy. What sucks is that I see people around who do exactly that. They have friends and an active, fun social life, in addition to maintaining their grades.
> 
> College is more than just preparing for a career for me. I want to do the things that other people do as well. That would make me happy. But my social anxiety always holds me back. At this point it feels so impossible to make actual friends. Like it just can't EVER happen for me.


I take issue with this, and I think this attitude, that college is supposed to be about the "college experience" is one of the reasons a lot of people who shouldn't be in college go, and end up with useless degrees because they went there for the fun of it, and because everyone goes, not to prepare themselves for a career. You don't need college to meet people and to do social things. A lot of the most social people I knew didn't go to college, but still had very active social lives. They had all of the benefit of being social, without having to pay tens of thousands of dollars to go to classes they didn't care about. In college, your career goals should go first, then everything else.



FakeFur said:


> The fact that I'm unsure about my major (Nursing) also makes me feel unmotivated. And plus my workload has drastically increased, which made me feel very overwhelmed.


Shadow a few nurses, and see if you like the work. Nursing is a competitive field, and you have to work hard to get into and get through the program. If you don't think you want to do it, then why waste the time going through such a hard program only to do something else? If you do decide to do it, you really need to put it as your first priority, and not making friends, and hanging out.


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## Catnap (Dec 5, 2011)

I thought all of the exact same things, Fur - about myself! About two years ago, I put a lot of effort towards getting into this highly-rated, out-of-state art college and was so excited when I was accepted. However, it was also a big decision to make, because I would be separating from the only solid support base I had known, (though I had a few "online" friends who lived close to where I'd be going) and I still had a lot of emotional issues I hadn't dealt with. I'd also have to stay in a dorm, though I'm anxious of strangers and used to being by myself. 

Everything went alright for awhile, pretty much until Spring Break, when I was so lonely, that I decided to visit an ex boyfriend for awhile (stupid, stupid, stupid...). Nothing bad happened or anything, but there were good reasons why this guy was an ex and I knew I was doing something potentially destructive by letting him back into my life (he was preparing to move in with me that summer), but I was grasping for anything familiar or comforting, because as much as my in-state friends were trying to help me, there were things that happened prior to moving which I couldn't get out of my mind and I was worried about troubles that my family was going through back home. I felt kind of humiliated seeing the school counselor, because I'm not used to talking about my feelings and would always cry during the whole session in his office. I took different supplements and medications. Nothing seemed to help. 

I skipped class to lay in bed and watch shows on youtube (mentally escaping) and from there on, it only became easier to skip other classes, until I wasn't really going at all anymore or hardly even leaving the dorm. I went from full-time, to part-time, to having to withdraw entirely to save my GPA and be allowed to return. I felt so horrible because it was like I lost control of myself. I couldn't understand how I allowed this to happen when I worked so hard to get out of my small town, with hardly any money and get into my dream school, which my mom also secretly helped me with $4,000 to cover what Financial Aid didn't pay for. 

The people at my college (and that town in particular), were also some of the kindest people I ever met. The people working in Admissions talked to me so softly and understandingly, all I could do was cry and hate myself for screwing up. I also damaged my relationships with my in-state friends who I knew prior to going and wondered how I could ever go back to that school after making such an idiot out of myself - though I wanted to keep that door open. 

I've been back home since mid-2010, so I've had all this time to reflect and understand what went wrong and something I do have to say, is to not be too hard on yourself. I realized how hard I was pushing myself, even from the very beginning and how taking on too much at once and trying to do everything perfectly probably made burn-out as much of a culprit in what happened as any of the other things which were bothering me. 

It took about a year for me, but somewhere around this summer, I stopped beating myself up over what happened and started mulling over how and where to go back to school again, because I still want to go. However, I still can't let go of the school I really wanted to go to and tried so hard to get into, so I'm lining things up to return there next year, probably for next fall (which will give me some time still, to work out things I will need to support myself better this time). 

I'm glad to hear that you want to go back. I'm not saying things like this should happen, but when they do, sometimes it helps to give you perspective about what you really want and what is really important to you, I think. What helped me a bit, was to hear from my mom about the difficulties and bad grades she got while attending community college when I was a child. I was somewhat shocked by it, because I always saw my mom as perfect; I mean, in her later college and graduate career, she earned so many awards and accolades and this and that, it was almost unsettling to hear that she was so vulnerable at one time, just like I felt!

We're all only just human, after all. ^^


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## voodoochild16 (Jan 20, 2009)

Catnap said:


> I thought all of the exact same things, Fur - about myself! About two years ago, I put a lot of effort towards getting into this highly-rated, out-of-state art college and was so excited when I was accepted. However, it was also a big decision to make, because I would be separating from the only solid support base I had known, (though I had a few "online" friends who lived close to where I'd be going) and I still had a lot of emotional issues I hadn't dealt with. I'd also have to stay in a dorm, though I'm anxious of strangers and used to being by myself.
> 
> Everything went alright for awhile, pretty much until Spring Break, when I was so lonely, that I decided to visit an ex boyfriend for awhile (stupid, stupid, stupid...). Nothing bad happened or anything, but there were good reasons why this guy was an ex and I knew I was doing something potentially destructive by letting him back into my life (he was preparing to move in with me that summer), but I was grasping for anything familiar or comforting, because as much as my in-state friends were trying to help me, there were things that happened prior to moving which I couldn't get out of my mind and I was worried about troubles that my family was going through back home. I felt kind of humiliated seeing the school counselor, because I'm not used to talking about my feelings and would always cry during the whole session in his office. I took different supplements and medications. Nothing seemed to help.
> 
> ...


I got social anxiety from sleeping in through high school, in grade 9. It's because I was forced to drop out and I then had to go through home school which never worked out, but it was the isolation that made me get this.

It's hard to see the impact of what staying in can do to you when you have not experienced it yourself yet. We usually are warned but we just don't get it after that, and some things you gotta learn for yourself in order to not do it again.

But now I have graduated because I went back, and I never sleep through work because that's work, not school. I picture college as something that will take just some remembering from the past and reminding myself of what the consequences are so that I don't do the same thing as before.

Sometimes it's when staying in for the very first time through school is okay, unless you can get yourself out of bed right then and there and don't let it be the first time, it's only healthy if it is all against your will, but the second time you go back maybe be the last time you go back and it'll be when you pass and graduate as you know from your previous experience.


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## plainperson (Aug 24, 2011)

First I just want to stress that no one here thinks you are a failure. Anyone who is human should realize that we all have different ways of coping when "s*** happens." My advice is to use this as a time to work through your depression with a therapist. An acquaintance of mine who is plagued by organic depression withdrew partway through a spring semester with the intent of going back in the fall. Things didn't work out like she planned, and she's now started registering for classes 2 years later. If that does happen in your case, just know that it's ok to be on your own timeline. Put your health first.


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## Retronia (Dec 18, 2011)

> I feel like a loser. A failure. A disappoint. Stupid. An idiot. Useless. I feel so bad and terrible. I feel like, what am I even doing with my life? If I'm a failure at everything and have no motivation or enthusiasm for anything, why am I even here? I hate myself so much. I feel so depressed and purposeless.
> 
> I have an opportunity to get an education, to do something with my life, but I'm ruining it. What's wrong with me? Why can't I be one of those super motivated, ambitious, hard-working type students that always do well? Instead I'm unmotivated, lazy, uninterested in anything, and am just a failure.


I feel the same nowdays. I quited going to classes, didnt finished some works...
I plan to change my major...
I wokred part time as a receptionist, but I was doing well...
I am such a dissapointment for not only my family bit also for myself....


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## xTKsaucex (Jun 23, 2010)

Been tonnes of really talented people who have dropped out of uni/school whatever and did well for themselves. There's a couple of websites I've been on which have lists and lists of famous drip outs so wouldn't too bad that the course you were on wasn't for you as such.


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## Raulz0r (Jun 4, 2011)

I am also gonna drop out very soon, I have failed 8 courses in 3 years, I need to get a passing grade to all until the summer to be able to get a degree, but I don't feel motivated to do it at all, and besides I gotta pay around $300 to be able to take them again.


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## shyandquiet (May 10, 2011)

I withdrew from college my senior year, which was the fall semester of last year. I was having anxiety attacks, I was depressed because of my SA, and I was really unsure of my major (music education). I felt like a real failure when I did that. I knew I should have finished the degree when I was so close. It was really rough after I withdrew because I was alone, I had a hard time finding a job, and my parents were confused/disappointed about my decision. 
Eventually I found a job as a cashier, and I returned to school the following year (fall 2011). During that time as a cashier I ended up meeting my current boyfriend (who also has SA), so something good came out of withdrawing from school!

I am happier now than when I was when I withdrew. The year long break gave me a new perspective on things, and I am finding that I'm actually enjoying teaching piano lessons and I'm becoming more comfortable in front of a large class.

Don't be ashamed of withdrawing. Taking a break from school may be just what you need, and you never know, something good may come out of it. Just keep your head up!


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## captainpakko (Jan 3, 2012)

i'm exactly the same as you except i haven't dropped out and i don't think i'd have the guts to do so. my last term before winter break was just a scraped pass in everything and i've never been so unhappy in my life. i see all of the other kids who are able to keep up relationships, jobs *and* their grades but i can't seem to even keep up my grades because i'm so lonely, i have no motivation. good to know i'm not the only one, but i hope we can all work out these issues. i'm the first kid in our family to even make it to second year and we are definitely not financially sound, i am terrified of failing and wasting more of my mother's money (omg, and the loooans).


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