# Being mistreated by family



## callmebas (Jan 11, 2013)

Due to SA i am unable to deal with obligations and end up avoiding them. My family thinks that i am lazy and a jerk and even believe that i enjoy not doing anything. As a result they make me do all the chores, with the excuse that 'i don't have anything else to do', while in reality i do have but can't deal with it. For them i look like this ungrateful, lazy, spoiled, bad person and being treated as such. 

I should be doing something towards my goal and move on, but easier said than done. They can't understand me and can't give me the kind of help i need. If they were to do that, they would think i am a failure or worthless. So the same things is going on, where i should shut up, do chores, and be grateful for what i have. 

Anyone else whose SA is being recognised in the wrong way?


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## Haven49 (Jun 16, 2013)

I'll be back to answer this!


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## Haven49 (Jun 16, 2013)

I'm terribly sorry! One of the hardest things in having anxiety is having people misinterpret it.
I struggle with procrastination too, as does my brother. I have anxiety, as does my brother.
There are many articles out there that deal with the subject of procrastination as a result of anxiety, you might want to take a peak at them, there are some really helpful tips out there! 
I would suggest starting out with the easiest chore for you, making a check list of your chores and marking your progress. Start the chore, and make an agreement with yourself that if worse comes to absolute worse, after ten minutes you can take a break- odds are the break is not needed.
Maybe incentives might work too, telling yourself that you'll allow yourself a break every two or three chores, or watching that favorite T.V. episode every five chores.
The point is to positively re-enforce yourself, showing yourself that you can finish your chores, or anything that you are procrastinating on, and that you will be okay.
It's hard, but you can do this!!  best of luck to you!


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## callmebas (Jan 11, 2013)

Thanks for the reply, much appreciated. Also sorry for not expressing myself accurately as i'm not an English speaker. 

What i mean, is that i have a 'to do list' of things to better myself with number one priority to graduate, as i'm stuck in uni for so long, but i don't follow with it because i lack motivation and incentives as you say. 

So my family seeing me not doing anything, cause of Sa and depression that blocks me, they don't understand it and load me with tasks because i'm at home and always seem available. The think i'm lazy and give me something to occupy myself but it is in the wrong direction for me.

I can't handle my own stuff, how am i supposed to do other things as well? I become more anxious about myself when i do other things than those i'm supposed to, as i feel more distanced to them.


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## Haven49 (Jun 16, 2013)

I'm so sorry, that sounds rough  
Have you tried talking to them about it, or do they not understand?
Lemme know if you ever need anyone to talk to, and I'll be here!


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## callmebas (Jan 11, 2013)

I know i do have a problem. I should have been able to deal with many things at once. But having SA can make everything more difficult, and feel like i'm handicapped.

I guess i have no one that understands my struggles, although they should be suspicious that something is wrong with me. Talking about it for me is like admitting defeat and would feel embarrassed. I also avoid talking to relatives about myself, because i don't want them to i'm so low, even though they could probably do me some good.


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## Haven49 (Jun 16, 2013)

I can relate, i personally believe social anxiety in itself really makes life more difficult, almost as if it were a physical disorder 
Thats understandable...its a hard topic to talk about! If there's someone you can reach out to, it might make things a bit easier so that they can find techniques to communicate to you properly...
That's what my family had to do with me, it was really just explaining what works better for me in the sense of procrastinating and such!
But I struggle with the same things too, and trust me, it's a daily process to fight it...so if you ever need something just message me and we can work this out together!


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## xgodmetashogun (Apr 2, 2013)

callmebas said:


> I know i do have a problem. I should have been able to deal with many things at once. But having SA can make everything more difficult, and feel like i'm handicapped.
> 
> I guess i have no one that understands my struggles, although they should be suspicious that something is wrong with me. Talking about it for me is like admitting defeat and would feel embarrassed. I also avoid talking to relatives about myself, because i don't want them to i'm so low, even though they could probably do me some good.


same here....


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