# Should you tell your employer about your SA



## Liability (Jan 11, 2013)

Really contemplating telling them. I have a performance review this week and i know they will expect me to put my lack of interpersonal skills as a weakness that needs improvement. I feel like if i do it will take some of the stress away but at the same time i dont think they would understand. No one else in my office is like me in terms of awkwardness and shyness.
Has anyone openly told their employers about their SA? how was it handled?


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## So Tactless (Feb 5, 2014)

Honestly, it sounds like something that would lead to them "downsizing" you rather than something that would help. 

Notice how every question on those super long job assessment test try to screen you out for shyness or SA? It's not something I'd want to reveal, but then again, I've never worked in anything but jobs where you have to work with the public.

But my first thought would be against it.


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## working on being happy (Jan 16, 2014)

I've talked to my boss's about my SAD. I've explained it to them over and over again. they never quit got it though. I don't think it matters one way or the other. i just know that i felt better after telling them. like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. so i could relax a little because i wasn't trying to hide my SAD from them. good luck with your performance review.


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## dreamloss (Oct 28, 2013)

I told them about social anxiety as one of my "weaknesses" during my interview. I felt like it was more honest I guess, hoping that they'd be forgiving if I slip up & get super anxious some time in the future. (One interviewer laughed at me when I said it though. But he's a bit of a dick in general, I learned afterwards. So I can't really take anything to heart.)


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## urbancoyote (Dec 10, 2013)

If its affecting your performance it might be a good idea to tell them. They may not understand. Im sure the majority of people dont think such a condition exists. It may improve your performance evaluation(although probably unlikely), seeing as you can say that a lot of stuff you do at work is way out of your comfort zone. Might make you look good! Yhats all just supposition though.


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## Smithy123 (Oct 5, 2013)

It's tempting to tell people at work because it would give them an explanation for my strange behaviour at times, but I do not think it would be a good thing overall. Everyone is quite confident, sociable and assertive where I work and they would just view me as even more of a weirdo if I told them.


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## Melodic (Apr 16, 2009)

Perhaps if it was a serious hindrance to your work then yes, but I think most employers would not understand it and see it as an irritating handicap instead. From my experience, employers want workers who are easy going, willing and completely capable, so having to deal with someone who has a disadvantage like anxiety or so may lead to even inconspicuous discrimination. Of course if they are personable, understanding or laid-back, it may work to your advantage, but I just wouldn't feel comfortable with my boss knowing I had such a 'weakness'.


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## Steinerz (Jul 15, 2013)

No


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## inerameia (Jan 26, 2012)

It appears people will take advantage of any perceived weakness. So, most likely, I wouldn't.


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## MCWbs (Feb 1, 2014)

Liability said:


> Really contemplating telling them. I have a performance review this week and i know they will expect me to put my lack of interpersonal skills as a weakness that needs improvement. I feel like if i do it will take some of the stress away but at the same time i dont think they would understand.


Same here. I was recently put on a performance improvement plan for lack of communication (ie not being social extrovert) and not being able to maintain X amount of work (anxiety makes it hard to)







No idea why after 8 years on the job being quiet is suddenly a problem.

Like you, I did not want to disclose the SA to my supervisor for fear of being treated differently. I ended up meeting with HR privately to discuss the situation. At a perforamce meeting that included HR I disclosed the anxiety (didn't specifically say SA) after I was bombarded with negative feedback and was a big sobbing mess. The disclosure caught the supervisor off guard. I know he and HR later met to further discuss the impact of the disclosure on the performance improvement plan. They ended up changing the performance improvement plan to make it (somewhat) more reasonable and attainable for me. I'm still on the plan and the weekly feedback I get is that I'm not doing enough to "communicate" (i.e. be social). I do talk to people daily, mostly on work-related stuff, but apparently that's not good enough. I can rattle off a list of who I talked to and about what but the supervisor always says "Is that it??" and that frustrates me to no end.

Your situation may be different. I suggest meeting privately with HR to see what advice they can offer you about whether to disclose the SA or not. Your company may offer an employee resource for help with life issues as well. HR will have more info about that sort of thing.


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## Brisby (Nov 17, 2013)

MCWbs, has the right idea. You should talk to someone in HR as soon as possible about the issue. I don't think it's a good idea to wait until the actual performance evaluation or right before it to bring up your SA. To an employer, it might look like you're making excuses for your behavior and that would make you look worse. You might luck out though and get an understanding person who will work with you and try to help you out but you should definitely talk to someone discretely about it first just in case.


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## FelineFatale (Nov 30, 2013)

Much of my co-workers are also in their 20's and have very busy social lives, which I constantly have to hear about each and every day. So, no I don't tell them that I'm a 26 year-old homebody with no friends, a boyfriend, or a life. :um


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## allthatsparkles (Mar 1, 2013)

Liability said:


> Really contemplating telling them. I have a performance review this week and i know they will expect me to put my lack of interpersonal skills as a weakness that needs improvement. I feel like if i do it will take some of the stress away but at the same time i dont think they would understand. No one else in my office is like me in terms of awkwardness and shyness.
> Has anyone openly told their employers about their SA? how was it handled?


I don't mean to sound harsh but why would they care? Regardless of your SA, if they want you to improve your interpersonal skills, then you need to improve your interpersonal skills. They might initially have some sympathy for your situation, but at the end of the day, your personal problems are yours to solve, not theirs.


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## hickorysmoked (Mar 7, 2010)

I did that at my first job, and I will never do it again. I would rather be fired for my erratic behavior than to actually TELL a coworker or boss that I have social problems. It felt like I was just making excuses, which essentially I was, and that I was being babied and given extra leeway which I can't stand. Even though they were accommodating to me, I still immediately regretted telling my supervisor. I know people can tell at my current job that something is off with me, but I won't say anything about it. 

If I were to get fired or brought into a meeting for not fitting in with the company, I still wouldn't tell them. I would just find another job that would be better suited for me.


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## SuperSky (Feb 16, 2011)

I'd say hell no.


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## MCWbs (Feb 1, 2014)

Brisby said:


> MCWbs, has the right idea. You should talk to someone in HR as soon as possible about the issue. I don't think it's a good idea to wait until the actual performance evaluation or right before it to bring up your SA. To an employer, it might look like you're making excuses for your behavior and that would make you look worse. You might luck out though and get an understanding person who will work with you and try to help you out but you should definitely talk to someone discretely about it first just in case.


I want to add that maybe look into getting a mentor with whom you can discuss ways on how to improve your work performance. You might find a mentor at work or outside of work.

I signed up for a mentoring program at work and the mentor who was chosen for me happens to be the Director of Communications. She's been really helpful providing advice and suggestions how to communicate better (actual communicating and collaborating with others to get work done, not being social and popular) with my co-workers. I've bounced ideas off of her to get her opinion before presenting the idea to the supervisor or manager.

The best thing about my mentor is that she understands me. My supervisor doesn't. Like I told my supervisor that there's no interaction within the team and that everyone pretty much ignores me. He said that he can't take the team apart and rebuild it with introverts like me so I just had to work on being part of the current team








I told the exact same thing to my mentor and she got it. She said that I wasn't asking for the team to a bunch of introverts. She knew I was asking for some sort of increase in interactions within the team, like a team building event or being paired up with someone to work on certain projects, something so that the team is more, well, like a team and not just individual people working on their own thng.

HR can provide resources on how to find a mentor, either at work or outside of work.


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

I would not tell anyone. What is the point? Do you think your employer gives a crap? You may just put a red flag on yourself. 

''Our company isn't doing very well. We need to cut costs, so fire few people. Who shall we let go? Oh, that guy with social something...The one who's not right up there. We don't need someone with issues like that. We need those that are highly productive, can handle the heat and act as leaders. Let's fire him first.''

Just a possible scenario.

I would get no sympathy in here for having SA. On the contrary. The gossip and derogatory comments would never stop. So thanks, but no thanks.


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

sad vlad said:


> I would not tell anyone. What is the point? Do you think your employer gives a crap? You may just put a red flag on yourself.
> 
> ''Our company isn't doing very well. We need to cut costs, so fire few people. Who shall we let go? Oh, that guy with social something...The one who's not right up there. We don't need someone with issues like that. We need those that are highly productive, can handle the heat and act as leaders. Let's fire him first.''
> 
> ...


yeah i've been told by superior's in the past " it's a dog eat dog world " there's not much sympathy out there atm, cause they know their is probably 100 people out there eager for your job...


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## Brisby (Nov 17, 2013)

MCWbs said:


> I want to add that maybe look into getting a mentor with whom you can discuss ways on how to improve your work performance. You might find a mentor at work or outside of work.
> 
> I signed up for a mentoring program at work and the mentor who was chosen for me happens to be the Director of Communications. She's been really helpful providing advice and suggestions how to communicate better (actual communicating and collaborating with others to get work done, not being social and popular) with my co-workers. I've bounced ideas off of her to get her opinion before presenting the idea to the supervisor or manager.
> 
> ...


I'm glad the mentoring is working out for you and she sounds like a really nice and amazing lady. Having someone who understands in the workplace can be a big asset. Your boss really sounds like he doesn't get it and that saddens me. A team shouldn't be made up of a bunch of people with the same exact personality type and ideas. A strong team is one made up of various individuals all contributing their own different styles and abilities and listening to each others strengths and weaknesses.


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## MCWbs (Feb 1, 2014)

Brisby said:


> I'm glad the mentoring is working out for you and she sounds like a really nice and amazing lady. Having someone who understands in the workplace can be a big asset. Your boss really sounds like he doesn't get it and that saddens me. A team shouldn't be made up of a bunch of people with the same exact personality type and ideas. A strong team is one made up of various individuals all contributing their own different styles and abilities and listening to each others strengths and weaknesses.


Thanks  No, the supervisor doesn't get it. I have to bring up a recent issue that has been bugging meat our next weekly meeting, which hopefully HR will attend.

The team is made up of mostly introverts of varying degrees but they have no problem with being social and talkative, and loud sometimes. I'm at the extreme end of introvertism and it doesn't help that I have SA as well.


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## Ohio Fatso (Mar 17, 2008)

I would not put a label on it. 

I've told them I'm not good at talking to people. That's all I've ever said. 

You put some label on it like SA and you'd have people looking at you like you're in a wheelchair. Forget that. They would probably laugh at you too, because nobody knows what that is. Sounds like a fake, made up disorder. I know it's real, but nobody else does.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

Really, really, really bad idea. Think "career suicide".


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

Anything that is not "legally obligated" for you to revealed that might ruin your image, you don't reveal it. Majority of the norm likely are not aware of SA, so letting them know would likely make them view you as some sort of nut. Just say you are shy and that you will do your best to improve your interpersonal skills to the point where it will not affect your job performance.


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## Dan the man (Jul 4, 2013)

Just to reiterate to the OP don't do it. I actually had a job where I was contemplating it just beacuse I was so nervous to work there every day. I eventually got "laid off" beacuse of the economy.

In the end I was glad I didn't do it as I don't think it would have made much of a difference anyway. Your ultimately telling personal stuff about yourself to people you most likely don't even like anyway. STAY STRONG!


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## Jacked416 (Dec 31, 2013)

I would never do that with my boss. If I tell him he would laugh at me and tell others. He already thinks I'm weird and he once told me that I make him nervous and uncomfortable.


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## BAH (Feb 12, 2012)

No


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## ccmrc (Mar 13, 2014)

My supervisor admitted during a supervision that he has SA which made me comfortable enough to kinda say "me too!" I think he suspected that I have it. I never would have guessed that he has it so it was actually quite inspirational to know, considering how he manages to do his job and the fears he faces / overcomes as part of it.


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

most most of the time they dont really give a **** about your well being, as long as you can bring in profit for the company


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