# SA for 12 years, recovered in 2 years



## Fishfillet (Apr 29, 2011)

Any questions for me?

It will take a massive concentrated effort on your part, but I know how and as long as you are willing to do it, many of you can recover.

Ask away.


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## BKrakow (Jul 8, 2010)

sooo...how'd ya do it? lol

and congrats!


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## rambo (Nov 14, 2010)

bkitty1 said:


> sooo...how'd ya do it? lol
> 
> and congrats!


^^ what she said?

Also, I think it's gunna prolly take me another year or 8 months to overcome SA. So that will prolly 2 years for me.


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## Fishfillet (Apr 29, 2011)

Have a specific question please; don't be lazy.

If you want everything to be served on a plate for you, and the thing to miraculously disappear, you'll still have SA until the rapture.


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## UncertainMuffin (Sep 24, 2008)

It's not a lazy question, it's the obvious question. :b Did you try therapy, were you on meds?


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## BeHereNow (Jun 1, 2011)

Were you on any meds?

If so what meds and how did you come of of them?

Did you see a therapist? 

What type of therapy or self help was most beneficial to you?

What lifestyle changes did you find most vital to overcoming your anxiety?

Did meditation or prayer help you?

And would you say that you are "cured?"


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

How did you learn to feel at ease in situations, like a sudden, unexpected conversation with another person? Whenever I am forced into those situations, I go to "fight or flight" mode and my mind begs me to choose flight...feels like the most impossible thing to change.


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## Fishfillet (Apr 29, 2011)

Hello BHN



BeHereNow said:


> Were you on any meds?
> 
> If so what meds and how did you come of of them?
> I had lexapro for the first period of recovery but then I realised there is a better method - remove the cause of anxiety so that I am not anxious, instead of numbing it.
> ...


I am 100% cured. Yesterday I had five different meetings in five different offices and I was out for 15 hours, and I didn't feel any fear that distressed me or made me feel I couldn't cope with it. Even if my body was tense, I have stopped noticing it or paying any attention to it. I can also give speeches in front of hundreds and presentations in a charged, pressurized environment.

You would wish you were me.


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## Fishfillet (Apr 29, 2011)

UncertainMuffin said:


> It's not a lazy question, it's the obvious question. :b Did you try therapy, were you on meds?


Yes, no.


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## Fishfillet (Apr 29, 2011)

the cheat said:


> How did you learn to feel at ease in situations, like a sudden, unexpected conversation with another person? Whenever I am forced into those situations, I go to "fight or flight" mode and my mind begs me to choose flight...feels like the most impossible thing to change.


I can give speeches in front of hundreds now, with no preparation. The key is to first be around people without speaking, by doing your own things in public areas, standing in a train or bus, queueing up for food, and listening to the hubbub around you. You then realize that most conversation are not that hard or charged.

You are paying too much attention to yourself, your words because your mind has hyped it up to the point of earth shattering importance. But there is no need to rethink this. Just be comfortable around people first. Then ask for simple things like passing a book etc.

It is also ok not to speak to people until you are ready. There are no codes of behaviour like that. If you are not ready, just smile and be on your way. Look for people you are more comfortable talking with first, and start with those.

Progress is experential, not thinking.


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## Sapphiress (Jun 15, 2010)

way to go [email protected]!!!!!!!!


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## dutchguy (Jun 8, 2009)

How old are you? Does your lack of experience still hunts you and brings you down?

Does the past really matters to you now you're feeling cured?

What kind of habits did you change?

Do you now know why you had SA in the first place?

What do people have to do to become "better"?

How was it to change in front of the eyes of others around you? I mean parents, friends?
I find it hard to do things different while people know me as a shy person. This creates a desire to leave this place so I can finally be "free".


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## Fishfillet (Apr 29, 2011)

dutchguy said:


> How old are you? Does your lack of experience still hunts you and brings you down?
> I am 35. In a way, I am like other SA people - smart and sensitive. So when many of you recover, you will find that you pick up things pretty quick. All you have to do is to ensure that even when sick, you pick up qualifications in any way and when you are ready, to choose a job with prospects such as not pouring coffee for a living, and work hard. I am a banker.
> 
> Does the past really matters to you now you're feeling cured?
> ...


You can choose to leave or not leave the place. What is most important is your immediate environment - the things you come into contact every day. If you are still being abused you need to leave. Otherwise you should stop caring about what people who know you or even people who don't know you think of you. Just care for yourself and care for those whom you think care for you, and take the steps of an ordinary person.


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## george constanza (Mar 21, 2011)

Do you now know why you had SA in the first place? You said
"You have to remove the cause of the fear, because the fear for us is so ingrained changing our mind about it is impossible."

What did you identify as your cause??? For me, I go through phases where with sheer will, I ignore negative/anxious thoughts of entering social situations, and come out the other end feeling ok, saying to myself: "see, that wasn't so bad, nothing bad happened to you, your fear was irrational" etc. and ultimately hoping that through repetition of this exposure technique that it will finally get through to my thick skull and absence of the negative fear-increasing thoughts will become automatic.

But then, just when i think im progressing, another situation, usually at work amongst colleagues, will bring back home the deepest underlying belief that I can't avoid, re-frame, rationalise myself out of: that there IS something inherently wrong with me, and it goes beyond sticking the "SA" label to it (actually, I think you might agree that by labelling it as such, it can be a form of self-indulgence in itself). There is a reason why i fear people, and it really isn't all in my head. It is because they remind me that i am in fact inadequate in comparison, I'm different - how i think, my morals, my outlook. In this way, i really take heed to your advice about "sticking to the regime of ordinary people" as well as "not eating meat" (even if just to impose a standard of discipline to stick to self-imposed limits - I myself am an emotional eater and often resort to food to deal with difficult emotions/feelings/situations).

I would be interested to know exactly how you did this: "used my SA habit of thinking continuously to devote to my job" ??

when you say live like a normal person (i find "normality" banal most of the time, although the saying "patience is a virtue " does spring to mind   so that you can be exceptional. 
do you mean this literally , tht you actually FEEL exceptional but in what sense, that you have done the very difficult thing of recovering from SA?? i guess what im trying to get at is, breaking on through to the other side, is it worth all the  months of defeat, uncertainty and pain before things become normal, becuase that's a real difficult struggle your describing with what seem like simply words.

You have to slowly let go of the past. - in terms of what, your past failures to overcome SA, the causes, or/equally in a more positive sense embracing the new  weird and unsettling feelings of change ?? How do you actually do this e.g. breathing exercises, a certain mantra/repeating an affirmation whilst expereincing these diffucult feeligns of being outside your comfort zone in your head help you??

I would also like to back you up when you say you should stop caring about what people who know you or even people who don't know you think of you- This is going to sound harsh but it saved me: when I finally started to care less about what others thought (me like alot of ppl on here are too nice for our own good) and say to myself "enough is enough, **** other people. They will either likeyou and dig you, and if they don't they don't" ppl did in fact react to me differently, in a positive magnetic-toward direction TO ME rather than AWAY FROM ME (which extra-sensitive me would accurately sense subconsciously before, and no it wasn't my imagination). On a similar note I would say to everyone on here who suffers from self-consciousness, yes they are all looking at you, but everyone is looking at everyone all the time because as humans the mirror-effect provides valuable self-reflecting feedback. It's a fact, you can't get away from it - better to get comfortable with it - and look right back them


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## StevenGlansberg (Apr 1, 2009)

Fishfillet said:


> Have a specific question please; don't be lazy.
> 
> If you want everything to be served on a plate for you, and the thing to miraculously disappear, you'll still have SA until the rapture.


:haha


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## cool89 (Feb 27, 2011)

Did you only use exposure therapy?


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## Oscar7 (May 20, 2011)

How did you make 200 friends in two years? Was it through work or something? I don't think normal people usually make 200 friends in two year. XD Anxiety or not.


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## AlekParker (Oct 31, 2006)

cool89 said:


> Did you only use exposure therapy?


From what he has said above it sounds like it was a combination. He became his own 'therapist'. He definitely did some cognitive therapy, talk therapy, and rational emotive therapy on his own. He basically just became more rational about his thoughts (cognition) and then gradually exposed himself to social situations. (behavioral)

The main thing it sounds like is he really pushed himself to change. He dropped what wasn't helping him and had the willpower to change. It's all about effort and the time you put in. You don't just click out of it.

Great job man.


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## bloodswordfire1473 (May 23, 2011)

hey thanks for the advice it makes a lot of sense


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## Trooper (Apr 29, 2011)

@ Fishfillet

What you say makes a great deal of sense, And i can relate to firsthand and agree with a lot of the advice you have given above, But what i am curious to know is how bad did you had SA ?. How much did it affect or limit you in the way you lived your life ?. Especially since you say that you have completely overcome it in just two years, And for how long has it been since you have been free of your SA ?.

Did you have SA in the early stages of your life, Or were you lucky (< Loosey put) enough to have experienced ~normal life at some point prior to being struck down by this SA crap ?

I am in the latter stages of over coming this sick, Twisted illness (state of mind ?), To the point that the anxiety is almost nonexistent, But there are still a lot of negative feelings, Feelings of inadequacy and more self focus than there should be. Oh and my shyness has also come to the surface since it is now not being over shadowed by the anxiety anymore.

I have had to deal with this (SA) for around about 30 years of my life, And this is pretty much all i have known. But have been doing everything i can to overcome my SA for the past ~3 years, After first identifiying the actual problem i was suffering from. 

Do you feel that there is a possibility that sufferers like me, That have known nothing else, Have a chance to be 100% clear of SA and all the negative feeling surrounding it ?, Or will we have to settle for a lesser pecentage than a complete success ?.

Trooper


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## KnightyOne (Feb 10, 2008)

Great job. Your triumph is inspirational.


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## ingenious53 (May 27, 2011)

How did you find out your destiny?


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## Hamtown (Jun 10, 2010)

After reading this,although a bit of doubt i still feel like i'm heading down the right direction.Cheers for posting FishFillet.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

Fishfillet said:


> You would wish you were me.


Anyone else catch this arrogant statement?

Anyway. I have no questions Fish. Good job. Thanks for sharing your wisdom. Now get off this forum before it infects your mind.


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## Mr Blue (Jun 9, 2011)

Really inspirational thread Fishfillet, makes a lot of sense, early today I thought of giving up and accepting a lonely existence, this motivated me to go forward.


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## SolaceChaser (Jun 8, 2009)

Amen


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## AlekParker (Oct 31, 2006)

@Trooper Yes you can overcome it. Gradually of course. 

If anyone's interested in cognitive behavioral therapy, which is basically what fishfillet did then u can click the second link in my signature... we're having a meeting tomorrow thurs

the biggest thing Fishfillet did was he became dedicated and kept getting up despite any setbacks (this is what i'm interpreting based on what he said). If you put the work and time in you can overcome SA-Disorder


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## modus (Apr 27, 2011)

Monroee said:


> Anyone else catch this arrogant statement?


I was afraid to bring it up 

I'm truly glad he's cured but that sort of gloating is really off-putting.


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## ronniejamesdio (Dec 30, 2010)

Fishfillet said:


> You are paying too much attention to yourself, your words because your mind has hyped it up to the point of earth shattering importance. But there is no need to rethink this. Just be comfortable around people first. Then ask for simple things like passing a book etc.


Damn! I should have asked my friend to pass me that book.

To be serious did you read any book that have changed your state of mind? Sorry if it's been asked before.


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

Good work fishfillet.

It's all pretty simple when you think about it like that, it's the hard work that's the kicker.

I'm going to keep some of this in mind tomorrow and own it, all day.


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