# Hypersexual, binge eating, depression... What is wrong with me?



## niacin (May 26, 2012)

I believe I am hypersexual, I binge eat almost every night, I have very low self esteem, I am depressed, I am extremely clingy (but I never show it) and irrationally take the tiniest things as rejection and stuff my face to cope, I get episodes where I almost have a nervous breakdown from a messy room in the house, I am *way* too self-depreciating with my jokes and general self-talk, and my teachers and friends have all said that I am way too much of a perfectionist (even though I see myself as a lazy loser)... I think what they mean is this: if my aunt asks me to address an envelope for her work friend, I will spend a long time doing the calligraphy just right, centering it, and being anal about putting the stamps just right. I've taught myself to have a "whatever" attitude about stuff, but it is usually for my own business which has contributed to my low grades and under achievement. I know I am capable of so much more. When other people expect something of me, I feel extremely pressured, anxious, kind of excited, and my inner perfectionist comes out. All I can think about with every action I make is what psychological process I am experiencing. I also dissect other peoples' behaviors to the point where I can predict what they will do next (depending on the person, it can make me extremely annoyed if it happens to be in sync with what I am doing/about to do). I often think about mortality and have poised and controlled existential freakouts (which to others just looks like I am deep in thought or suddenly startled). I always need to be stimulated, be it visual, auditory, sexual, emotional, or physical stimulation. I only realize this after a binge and think "I could have avoided this had I been occupied".

Aside from the binging and low self-esteem, I have been this way my entire life.

What's wrong with me? I want a name for it, because I want to blame something and remove it from myself.


----------



## TrcyMcgrdy1 (Oct 21, 2011)

Hmmm, not sure, but maybe, and I am not sure, but if you got some/more sex woudl you stop binging and being depressed. i had episodes where I hadnt got any for a LOOONG tiem and Id get depressed and feel liek a loser and binge eat. But liek I said above, I have no idea what your life is like, but just a thought. I was horny as hella nd depressed and to make myself feel better i would eat and fap haha. Sounds terrible...but its true. The droughts suck...so thirstayyyy haha!!!


----------



## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

niacin said:


> I believe I am hypersexual, I binge eat almost every night, I have very low self esteem, I am depressed, I am extremely clingy (but I never show it) and irrationally take the tiniest things as rejection and stuff my face to cope, I get episodes where I almost have a nervous breakdown from a messy room in the house, I am *way* too self-depreciating with my jokes and general self-talk, and my teachers and friends have all said that I am way too much of a perfectionist (even though I see myself as a lazy loser)... I think what they mean is this: if my aunt asks me to address an envelope for her work friend, I will spend a long time doing the calligraphy just right, centering it, and being anal about putting the stamps just right. I've taught myself to have a "whatever" attitude about stuff, but it is usually for my own business which has contributed to my low grades and under achievement. I know I am capable of so much more. When other people expect something of me, I feel extremely pressured, anxious,* kind of excited*, and my inner perfectionist comes out. All I can think about with every action I make is what psychological process I am experiencing. I also dissect other peoples' behaviors to the point where I can predict what they will do next (depending on the person, it can make me extremely annoyed if it happens to be in sync with what I am doing/about to do). I often think about mortality and have poised and controlled existential freakouts (which to others just looks like I am deep in thought or suddenly startled). I always need to be stimulated, be it visual, auditory, sexual, emotional, or physical stimulation. I only realize this after a binge and think "I could have avoided this had I been occupied".
> 
> Aside from the binging and low self-esteem, I have been this way my entire life.
> 
> What's wrong with me? I want a name for it, because I want to blame something and remove it from myself.


Hi - I'd be interested to know what you mean by this if you could explain it a bit more? I also have this feeling quite regularly - if I'm talking to someone I can often feel myself getting "faster" and faster - I have to consciously slow myself down and stop myself from talking too much or too quickly.

Do you ever get like that too?

I have had a number of episodes that would be considered manic, by anyone's standards and I'm constantly asked by doctors if I've ever wondered if I'm bi-polar. Are you seeing a doctor or a pysychiatrist? Someone that you could talk about this with?


----------



## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

It's hard to tell.
There could be an obsessive compulsive element to your SA, that causes distressing thoughts and feeling like you and everything you do needs to be perfect in order to be accepted. You may have intersecting anxiety disorders as well as depression which is usually caused by having to deal with an anxiety disorder.
The hypersexuality may just sexual frustration. you may feel that your needs aren't being met which just causes even more frustration, depression, anxiety etc.
As far as the binging is concerned , that could be all of the anxiety and depression coming to a head and binging is your way of coping with the pain.

EDIT: Like the poster above me said, you might want to do some research on Bipolar disorder as well. Here is a good link http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001924/


----------



## niacin (May 26, 2012)

don36 said:


> Hi - I'd be interested to know what you mean by this if you could explain it a bit more? I also have this feeling quite regularly - if I'm talking to someone I can often feel myself getting "faster" and faster - I have to consciously slow myself down and stop myself from talking too much or too quickly.
> 
> Do you ever get like that too?
> 
> I have had a number of episodes that would be considered manic, by anyone's standards and I'm constantly asked by doctors if I've ever wondered if I'm bi-polar. Are you seeing a doctor or a pysychiatrist? Someone that you could talk about this with?


Sure I could. Which part are you asking about? I know what you mean. Usually it is when I am low on sleep though. I am at my sharpest and most effective 30 hours after waking/staying awake. I do talk quickly a lot, but I also talk a lot all the time.

I'm not seeing a psychiatrist. I'm kind of scared. I think I'd rather do that once I'm on my own.


----------



## niacin (May 26, 2012)

TrcyMcgrdy1 said:


> Hmmm, not sure, but maybe, and I am not sure, but if you got some/more sex woudl you stop binging and being depressed. i had episodes where I hadnt got any for a LOOONG tiem and Id get depressed and feel liek a loser and binge eat. But liek I said above, I have no idea what your life is like, but just a thought. I was horny as hella nd depressed and to make myself feel better i would eat and fap haha. Sounds terrible...but its true. The droughts suck...so thirstayyyy haha!!!





ThatOneQuietGuy said:


> It's hard to tell.
> There could be an obsessive compulsive element to your SA, that causes distressing thoughts and feeling like you and everything you do needs to be perfect in order to be accepted. You may have intersecting anxiety disorders as well as depression which is usually caused by having to deal with an anxiety disorder.
> The hypersexuality may just sexual frustration. you may feel that your needs aren't being met which just causes even more frustration, depression, anxiety etc.
> As far as the binging is concerned , that could be all of the anxiety and depression coming to a head and binging is your way of coping with the pain.
> ...


1. I think you are both right about the sexual frustration. I don't know if that's normal though, since i have nothing to compare it to. I believe I'm emotionally coherent enough to know that I want a trusting and comitted relationship. Maybe it is just a "dry spell".

2. ThatOneQuietGuy: You hit the nail on the head. I know for sure that is what is causing the binging.

3. I forgot to mention that I had really bad OCD since I was young. I was never formally diagnosed but when I was an infant, I would organize my blocks and toys by size and color, I would throw a fit when I got a smudge on my homework and throw it away to start over again, I used to do this breathing thing where I would make it feel like I was breathing out of alternating lungs, I washed my hands 50+ times a day when I was a toddler, and a lot of other stuff.

4. I read the link and I have a lot of those symptoms, but I have the manic symptoms and the depressive symptoms at the same time. They all depend on small factors. The depression is always there and the mania is easy to come by. Once I spent an hour on my bed just laughing and feeling happier, ecstatic, and giddier than ever for no reason. I was 14. I've also had severe depression since the age of 11. My earliest memory of depression is at 8 years of age. I told myself (when I was eight) to remember I was capable of thinking/feeling such things at that age once I turned 15 and discounted my childhood. I remembered it.

You all probably think I'm a bit psycho now. :blank


----------



## simian4455 (May 17, 2012)

How come I never meet this kind of hypersexual girls you people are talking about?


----------



## niacin (May 26, 2012)

simian4455 said:


> How come I never meet this kind of hypersexual girls you people are talking about?


Idk. They're either labelled "****s" or too shy to say anything about it.


----------



## avoidobot3000 (Aug 22, 2010)

Food and sex release endorphins, so obsessions with them can be coping mechanisms for dealing with anxiety/depression. I think the healthiest way to get these endorphins, without medication, is exercise.

The brain activity in people with OCD and Bipolar is quite similar, they are almost like mental disorder "cousins". It's hard to say if you have a disorder--you should really see a shrink for that.


----------



## Massive (Oct 15, 2012)

ThatOneQuietGuy said:


> It's hard to tell.
> *There could be an obsessive compulsive element to your SA, that causes distressing thoughts and feeling like you and everything you do needs to be perfect in order to be accepted*. You may have intersecting anxiety disorders as well as depression which is usually caused by having to deal with an anxiety disorder.
> The hypersexuality may just sexual frustration. you may feel that your needs aren't being met which just causes even more frustration, depression, anxiety etc.
> As far as the binging is concerned , that could be all of the anxiety and depression coming to a head and binging is your way of coping with the pain.
> ...


These are called "Intrusive Thoughts" it's a mental health problem associated with OCD. I've got this exact problem-when I pray in the evenings, mornings and during the day they go away.


----------



## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

niacin said:


> Sure I could. Which part are you asking about? I know what you mean. Usually it is when I am low on sleep though. I am at my sharpest and most effective 30 hours after waking/staying awake. I do talk quickly a lot, but I also talk a lot all the time.
> 
> I'm not seeing a psychiatrist. I'm kind of scared. I think I'd rather do that once I'm on my own.


I was just asking about where you said you get excited - I have a feeling like that often when I talk to people - it's more a feeling of agitation. I don't really know whether it's related to my anxiety or something else.

And no, I wouldn't use the word psycho - don't think you have to worry about people thinking that about you on this place.


----------



## niacin (May 26, 2012)

don36 said:


> I was just asking about where you said you get excited - I have a feeling like that often when I talk to people - it's more a feeling of agitation. I don't really know whether it's related to my anxiety or something else.
> 
> And no, I wouldn't use the word psycho - don't think you have to worry about people thinking that about you on this place.


I feel excited when I feel like my plans are coming into action (be it a growing social life, relationship, or hobby/career/school). When I talk to new people, I feel very happy. I know it doesn't sound like SA and maybe I've gotten better, but I crave interaction.


----------



## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

Well I guess we all crave that - I know I do too. It seems to be one of the ironies of SA - being anxious around people but craving their company.


----------



## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

niacin said:


> When other people expect something of me, I feel extremely pressured, anxious, and my inner perfectionist comes out. All I can think about with every action I make is what psychological process I am experiencing. I also dissect other peoples' behaviors to the point where I can predict what they will do next (depending on the person, it can make me extremely annoyed if it happens to be in sync with what I am doing/about to do)..


Yep I do this to. I try to predict what someone will do so I can plan for it. I get really angry when people don't do what I predict of them or when events do not go according to how I planned them. If this happens I freakout.


----------



## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Massive said:


> These are called "Intrusive Thoughts" it's a mental health problem associated with OCD. I've got this exact problem-*when I pray in the evenings, mornings and during the day they go away.*


:haha


----------



## wrongnumber (May 24, 2009)

Minus the clinginess and some other things, you sound very similar to how I used to be including the childhood history. Hypersexuality, low mood with mood reactivity, craving carbs and overeating sounds like atypical depression which some consider to be part of the bipolar spectrum. Did you find that these problems seemed to flare up at puberty?


----------



## niacin (May 26, 2012)

wrongnumber said:


> Minus the clinginess and some other things, you sound very similar to how I used to be including the childhood history. Hypersexuality, low mood with mood reactivity, craving carbs and overeating sounds like atypical depression which some consider to be part of the bipolar spectrum. Did you find that these problems seemed to flare up at puberty?


These problems all started when I was around 14 years old. I got my period late (15), so i guess you could say it started at puberty.


----------



## AZicovich (May 19, 2017)

Wow, so me until I got married. But now it is all back, except the perfectionism. I hurts to eat so much. I'm punishing myself with pain, not endorphins. Chocolate is my drug.


----------



## AZicovich (May 19, 2017)

Because our partners soon tire of us and find us disgusting because we are insatiable.


----------



## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

You might have some kind of ocd when it comes to perfection and messy rooms. As for binge eating, it isnt that uncommon, sometimes when there isnt much else to do in life people just eat a lot. Hyper sexuality isnt unheard of either, some people are just much more sexually active than others. And depression probably comes from the state of your life. If things arent doing so well then you'll feel depressed.

Also, you mentioned that you are extremely clingy and that you can have a nervous breakdown from something as small as a messy room. Perhaps you might have some kind of mood disorder, such as Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Cyclothemia, etc. Often times irrational mood swings are linked to mental disorders.


----------

