# About creepiness



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

This thought just occurred to me.
How many of you guys actually cease to be assertive in pursuing a woman due to fear of being judged creepy?(or flip it the other way for ladies, or rearrange it for gays, you know)

I think sometimes I hold back with girls I like or am interested in because I don't want to come off as creepy... despite my rather vague interpretation of what constitutes creepiness.


----------



## GlueEater (Nov 16, 2006)

I"d say that'd be me. A whole lot of it is afraid of being 'that guy'.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

This is exactly what I was talking about in the other thread. Sometimes I hesitate to take action, for fear of being found "creepy."


----------



## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

You know what? I think creepiness is just something you have. You're either creepy...or you're not. It doesn't matter much what you do or say or even how you look. Some people just have that vibe.


----------



## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

For me, if a man approaches me for a normal conversation, I see nothing creepy about it. If he then proceeds to lick his lips and flash his genitalia at me, I would rethink my previous evaluation. After getting a nice look at what he's offering, I would coat the creep's eyes with a thick layer of pepper spray. So.. I mean, as long as you're not saying anything inappropriate or doing something bizarre, I really doubt that women would find you creepy.
If some guy stares at my breasts without ever looking away, that f*cking creeps the hell out of me. Staring, in general, is creepy. If he, at the very least, _pretends_ to glance at something else for a little while, it's okay. Sexual harassment also denotes creepiness. Little else outside of groping, staring, and inappropriate speech makes me uncomfortable.

Oh... If you wink at a random girl on the street, in all likelihood she will view that as creepy. If you also give her "the gun" while doing so, a restraining order is imminent.

Then, again, _I'm_ creepy, so it's hard for me to be objective on the matter. I don't approach anyone, because I automatically assume that they think I'm creepy and then talk about me behind my back.


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

.....all the time!


----------



## GlueEater (Nov 16, 2006)

Drella said:


> For me, if a man approaches me for a normal conversation, I see nothing creepy about it. If he then proceeds to lick his lips and flash his genitalia at me, I would rethink my previous evaluation.


"He pulled it out"
"Pulled what out?"
"IT Jerry."

lol


----------



## Failure (Feb 4, 2007)

I don't approach women for a few reasons. 

1. I suck at making conversation.
2. Unless I'm at a bar they'll probably think I'm trying to rape them or somthing because I don't have the warm friendly vibe or look going.
3. I suck at making conversation.


----------



## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

GlueEater said:


> Drella said:
> 
> 
> > For me, if a man approaches me for a normal conversation, I see nothing creepy about it. If he then proceeds to lick his lips and flash his genitalia at me, I would rethink my previous evaluation.
> ...


Ah yes ... a reference to the greatness of the TV show "Seinfeld" -- the last great TV series to be on the air. It's funny (not funny as in "ha-ha" but funny as in a coincidence) you should mention that line from the TV show Seinfeld because just earlier this week I was thinking of that line. I thought about it because there's this girl at work that kind of resembles the character Elaine. Whenever I see her, for some reason I think of that line. :b

Lifetimer


----------



## mal (Mar 26, 2007)

It's such a imature wide ranging term, it can mean a hundred different things, to a hundred different people.


----------



## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

OMG yes. I never want to be "that guy." I definitely hesitate when it comes to girls I like, cause I think they would be mortified instead of flattered, and I would come off as creepy and weird... lol =X


----------



## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Yeah I'm really afraid of being creepy.

When you're awkward and uncomfortable it kind of makes the other person awkward and uncomfortable and sometimes people interpret that is being creepy


----------



## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

But you know what people also find creepy? Is if you're a guy who sort of stares at a girl from a distance, not having enough guts to actually talk to them, and they see you doing that.


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

Well responses have been interesting.  Kudos to me for thinking of a topic while barely awake in the morning.

Anyway... I understand what obvious creepy behavior is.
At times I will try getting to know a girl but there is some sort of invisible line at some point where I just decide to not do anymore because I somehow feel like any next step further might put me in the creepy guy zone. I guess it just ticks me off sometimes that i hold back because of something so petty and wonder about missed opportunities. Then again, thus is the story of anxiety...


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Eh....I always keep a safe distance.


----------



## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

i dont worry about it. once you get to know a woman, you can tell how far creepy is


----------



## GlueEater (Nov 16, 2006)

Strength said:


> But you know what people also find creepy? Is if you're a guy who sort of stares at a girl from a distance, not having enough guts to actually talk to them, and they see you doing that.


OH MY GOD. That's me. I AM "that guy".


----------



## Failure (Feb 4, 2007)

Strength said:


> But you know what people also find creepy? Is if you're a guy who sort of stares at a girl from a distance, not having enough guts to actually talk to them, and they see you doing that.


Haha. That's me.


----------



## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

That was me in High School. I never really talked to girls, I would just look at them. I didn't want to be disliked and 'creepy' by what I said or had trouble saying, so I didn't try. And I probably had the label 'that guy' and all the girls avoided me because I didn't know how to talk to them. :stu 

Then I just avoided them in college for the most part. There weren't that many in my classes. And I was pretty busy.

Now, there aren't too many girls that I meet where I live.

I hope I don't become that old single creepy guy though.


----------



## treksalot (Mar 9, 2007)

Failure said:


> Strength said:
> 
> 
> > But you know what people also find creepy? Is if you're a guy who sort of stares at a girl from a distance, not having enough guts to actually talk to them, and they see you doing that.
> ...


Soo me. Akwaard. But funny cause the guys who I do that to some will do the same thing and...I've never thought of this since they don't seem like they would have SAS. But maybe, even though it's a loong stretch. Or the fear of rejection thing.

classified-what would you say to them? So I can see for myself your supposed creepiness. Hmm...the extreme of not being able to say it the way you want would be stuttering. I actually met someone who stuttered a year ago and I thought it was cute. Stuttering must really suck. t He got really red,but I acted like everything was normal. I had a bit of a stutter for a period in high school, just slight.


----------



## thecurerules (May 31, 2004)

What about the kind of guy who ignores women almost completely and outright refuses to look at them or make eye contact unless she approaches for conversation? Does he come off as someone who is creepy? or an *******? or what?

I do this most of the time and I've had some really interesting experiences as a result of my refusal to acknowledge the presence of the women around me. I don't like doing this, but It's one of the ways I cope with my anxiety problems. Women I find attractive make me nervous, so as far as I am concerned they do not exist.

I've got some serious issues... :eyes


----------



## Amelia (Nov 24, 2003)

*Re: re: About creepiness*



Zephyr said:


> You know what? I think creepiness is just something you have. You're either creepy...or you're not.


I agree. I think most women have an inbuilt "creepometer" and can distinguish between a creep and someone who's just a bit awkward or shy. For me, a creep is someone who sees a woman as a sexual object, and treats her accordingly: e.g. he doesn't respect her boundaries or her feelings (e.g. by looking at her inappropriately, invading her personal space, making inappropriate comments, or worse).


----------



## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

Strength said:


> But you know what people also find creepy? Is if you're a guy who sort of stares at a girl from a distance, not having enough guts to actually talk to them, and they see you doing that.


Yes, staring is definitely creepy. Especially when you hate attention!


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

What do you recommend we do, Libby?


----------



## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

Don't stare


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Approach?


----------



## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

Two second meaningful eye contact with smile in passing means a lot to me, at least, but eventually you'll need to approach her for anything to happen.  Libby


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Oh ok, I'l make note of that.


----------



## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

I stare with no regrets. It's not my fault I'm attracted to you.

Staring or not, I'm probably creepy, or not assertive enough, for most women to begin with.


----------



## treksalot (Mar 9, 2007)

BeNice said:


> I stare with no regrets. It's not my fault I'm attracted to you.
> 
> Staring or not, I'm probably creepy, or not assertive enough, for most women to begin with.


I don't find staring creepy. It's only if it's a guy who looks like he could be my dad or my friends dad's age. Or in this one case a table a way and really close to me and looking through between his fingers. Usually they are not that close to me and not looking through their fingers so blatantly. I think there are people out there that see shyness as attractive, so the best thing is to see the value in the shyness and accept it.


----------



## treksalot (Mar 9, 2007)

Cho? What's that?

Many it's because your face has the typical stoneyness. msp? oh well. Try internally saying I welcome you internally when you see a person...read this in a book and it works for me. You just accept their existence. The effects is a softer face.


----------



## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Yeah, I hate staring. Not a nice way to get a girl by making her feel uncomfortable.

There are guys at my job who say "I love you" and one of 'em just tried to hug me and I pushed him away....and stares from guys in general, especially the ones who work here who are old enough to be my dad or grandpa. Creepy moves. Leave me alone.


----------



## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

*Re: re: About creepiness*



Zephyr said:


> You know what? I think creepiness is just something you have. You're either creepy...or you're not. It doesn't matter much what you do or say or even how you look. Some people just have that vibe.


This is true too. I've gotten some creepy vibes from some security guards at my job and now I know I'm right because of things I've heard about 'em. My creep radar is accurate.


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

I'm not sure if I buy the creepiness is just something you have theory.
It's something observed by the viewer, a judgment made by the other person based on some imagined threat...


----------



## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

It's intuition and I think it should be trusted for the most part. Guaranteed that if a girl finds someone 'creepy', there are others who agree.


----------



## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

*Re: re: About creepiness*



treksalot said:


> Cho? What's that?


treksalot, have you not been watching the news lately? lol. Cho is the nut that killed 32 people. Cho is either his first or last name, I can't remember which. From the description I heard about his personality, it sounded like the posibility Cho could've had SA.

Imagine if Cho had SA and was a member of this forum. Now THAT would be "CREEPY"!!! :eek

Lifetmer


----------



## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

I agree with the notion that some people just give off a "creepy" vibe. I think it's just a combination of appearance and the way they carry themselves.

Has anyone ever seen a sex offender on the news and immediately thought they looked creepy? When I see one, I almost always get that feeling.


----------



## mal (Mar 26, 2007)

The problem is "creep", is also a label some people give to guys who are just loners, or who keep to themselves. 
These sort of people get a pack mentallity, and are too thick to make any distnction between "loner", and "dangerous weirdo".


----------



## treksalot (Mar 9, 2007)

*Re: re: About creepiness*



Lifetimer said:


> treksalot said:
> 
> 
> > Cho? What's that?
> ...


ohhhh...yea I've heard about Cho now it makes sense. Cho was his last name. I agree it's a possibility he had SA among other things.


----------



## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

Njodis said:


> Has anyone ever seen a sex offender on the news and immediately thought they looked creepy? When I see one, I almost always get that feeling.


You could say the same about anyone that's been arrested. Most people don't look their best in a booking photo.


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

*Re: re: About creepiness*



mal said:


> The problem is "creep", is also a label some people give to guys who are just loners, or who keep to themselves.
> These sort of people get a pack mentallity, and are too thick to make any distnction between "loner", and "dangerous weirdo".


I think this is more like the "creepiness" judgment I am trying to get at with this thread.

I'm not really concerned with obviously creepy stuff like huge age differences or lecherous behaivor... Such concepts shouldn't even be associated with shy loners who keep to themselves. Is it really fair to group them in with the bizzare pervs?


----------



## emptybottle (Jan 3, 2005)

Inturmal said:


> Njodis said:
> 
> 
> > Has anyone ever seen a sex offender on the news and immediately thought they looked creepy? When I see one, I almost always get that feeling.
> ...


Yeah... There are these two guys in my neighborhood whom I recently saw on that website where you can look up sex offenders that live in your area. I've seen those guys around a lot for years, and I never found them creepy-looking. Now I find them creepy.


----------



## mal (Mar 26, 2007)

*Re: re: About creepiness*



FreeSoul said:


> mal said:
> 
> 
> > The problem is "creep", is also a label some people give to guys who are just loners, or who keep to themselves.
> ...


No, but fairness isn't exactly something humans are blessed with in spades. 
Innuendo, whispers, dislike of different people, and a desire to fit in with the pack, whatever they say, are more natural.


----------



## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

FreeSoul said:


> This thought just occurred to me.
> How many of you guys actually cease to be assertive in pursuing a woman due to fear of being judged creepy?(or flip it the other way for ladies, or rearrange it for gays, you know)
> 
> I think sometimes I hold back with girls I like or am interested in because I don't want to come off as creepy... despite my rather vague interpretation of what constitutes creepiness.


Yeah. It's gotten so far with me that I don't even look at the opposite sex out of fear that I'll creep them out. Same goes for guys but with guys I don't avoid all eye contact or viewing just make it very brief. For guys it's more worry that they'll take offense to it or feel like I'm in someway disrespecting them; mostly in the areas in close proximity to where I live. Outside of this area it's not as bad because the people aren't as bad, lol. But geographically doesn't really matter when it comes to women i just feel creepy :lol At the same time I come off a little creepy to strangers due to my social awkwardness.


----------



## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

laughing and combined with anxiety at the same time is creepy. but I do it on purpose because it just doesnt matter what people think


----------



## Eraserhead (Sep 23, 2006)

Oh God, I am _so_ afraid of being creepy... I probably do come off that way though, which is a big part of why I don't approach women. :sigh


----------



## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Nicolay said:


> Oh God, I am _so_ afraid of being creepy... I probably do come off that way though, which is a big part of why I don't approach women. :sigh


Yeah I feel that with guys they'll just think you're weird

whereas with most girls they've always got security concerns in mind. Whenever they see a guy they don't know well, in their minds they think: "Is this male a potential threat?"


----------

