# self-criticism



## seagreen16 (Sep 24, 2005)

I'm working on my self-criticism and am working to not be so hard on myself or make myself feel bad about myself all the time. It's hard when you've done it almost all of your life and it's second nature to you. 

I have my own way to start changing this, by writing things about how I want to feel, how I want to treat myself, and positive ideas about myself. 

I usually start to have these goals for a few days, and after a few days, I start to forget to do it or start to lose interest so I don't really get the full benefit. 

Anyhow, has anyone tried to do this and had success with it? Anyone have any advice or pointers?


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## moviefreak13 (Oct 22, 2005)

I completely know how you feel!!! I used to criticize myself all of the time. Doing this definitely made me feel more depressed and suicidal. Being pessimistic was basically a second nature for me as well. Now, however, I am beginning to love myself again and haved stopped criticizing myself. I feel much better lately because of this.


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## cicada (Aug 25, 2005)

seagreen16,

I think you are on the right track by writing down your self-criticisms.
The only time I made any real progress with overcoming my SA was when I kept a journal and wrote down all my negative thoughts and why most of those thoughts were irrational. I had to write it down and read it over and over. Writing it down is very important. It is easier to go over it in your head but then when the anxiety gets intense it is also easier to forget what you were telling yourself to make yourself feel better. 

Irrational thinking is at the heart of SA, and you are dealing with your negative thoughts. Have you read any books on SA that discuss the way SAers think? There are several good books on the subject. My favorite is "Dying of Embarrassment" by Markway, Carmin, Pollard, and Flynn. This book is so wonderful. It tells why SAers are so self-critical and how to deal with that type of thinking. Good luck to you!


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

I just wrote this down not to long ago and I think this would relate to what your trying to say: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/viewtopic.php?t=36567


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## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

This is an ACT technique that seems to work pretty well:

When you find yourself having thoughts of self-criticism, just acknowledge it. Tell yourself, "I'm having a thought of self-criticism." Don't process the thought, just acknowledge it. It might take a few days or even a few weeks for the thoughts to stop, but if you use this technique consistently, they will stop. 

In addition, I think it's essential to have goals, long and short term. If you are driven by your goals, there's not as much room in your thoughts for self-criticism.


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## Mystic Pencil (Mar 6, 2006)

Hi Seagreen16=) *hugs tight*
I commend you for doing this. I couldn't be more proud really. Ourselves are the biggest fear we people with SA truly have. It's us that's afraid and our reactions to other people which is why we suffer the way we do. I think what you're doing is a big step in recovery.
That's quite a goal there sweetie=) *high 5's U*

Luv N Hugs
Mystic
:hide


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