# Lifestyle with SA



## cloister2 (Sep 2, 2011)

My life sucks because i gave up on it a long time ago, so these are my options, based on how I have been feeling for years - apathetic and like life is an unwelcome curse. I have no hopes, dreams, or desires but to finish up with this crapola life.

1. Find a crap job where I can be miserable and unsocial, such as cardboard box assembly. Don't say hi to anyone, ever, at work. When you are nice to people, they often see it as an invitation to eff with you anyways. After work i will run home to avoid the sneers and ridicule that just about everyone I meet directs at me. Don't talk to any women because they hate me, because my awkwardness and low self esteem are despicable and they can't handle that. If Hitler received the same treatment as me, that would be justice! If I can manage to hold that job down for 30 years (I'm 33), I can live out a meager retirement.

2. Get SSDI and lock myself in my apartment permanently. Be bored and unsatisfied, but exist anyways. Go to family functions when absolutely necessary and shop twice a month.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this, or similar plans?


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## MF Doom (Mar 12, 2012)

Wut?

Don't to this. I suggest you do the complete opposite. Find a job where you are forced to talk to people.


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## Mlochail (Jul 11, 2012)

I did, when I dropped out of school. I had a 'I hope I die soon' mentality. And to be honest, I will sometimes still swirl into a mindset of intense anger and frustration and it's a pain to be there, I hate it. But then another part of me is too proud and doesn't want to give up. I always think to myself 'If it's really THAT bad, then why not just go for it? Where I am now I could only go up and if I don't go up, I have nothing to lose.

Also, meditation DOES help. I will just get all positive out of the blue about things or suddenly just feel really good like I haven't been in a looong time.

I did however Clicked* a month or two ago due to the stuff that happend in my mind between now and my drop out 2 years ago. But don't worry meditation might just help you with that.

I hope this helps, if even a tiny bit. Good luck dude.


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## cloister2 (Sep 2, 2011)

Maybe I will continue with practicing meditation. However, it didn't help me much as of yet. But my mind may be in turmoil... and I find it incredibly boring. But I can try it.


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