# Don't really care about school anymore - sick of myself



## Joeb (Aug 6, 2005)

I'm in my super senior year at a public university finishing a B.A. in English. The only classes I have left to take are my foreign language credits and I'm sick to death of spanish and have to take 2 more classes yet (or miraclously test into 250). So my next semester is going to consist of 2 classes and living in a graduate dorm because I'm a senior and I can. I just want to be done with school but it keeps going and the longer I go the more I dislike myself.

I have got debts piling up from school, credit card, and the house I'm living in now. I haven't worked in over a year and haven't driven since December and my parents are paying for everything. Part of me just wants to get off my *** and get a job, get some money (I have none saved up now) and get a life. Another part to me is scared to death of the world and doesn't want to leave my house for anything cept class. Pretty soon I'm going to have to get a 'real' job and work for a living like an f'ning slave 9-5 just so I can rent an apartment and drive a **** car if I get a car. I don't see anything good for myself in the future and so I don't really see a reason to get up in the morning except class, which I go to because I've always done well in classes and don't plan to stop now.

Deep down I feel like a failure and in many ways I am (lack of money, job, car, girlfriend, friends). Why even bother anymore? 

On some level I've convinced myself that I am a failure I know, something I've been working on since childhood. Now the argument is so persausive I can't see past it. What do I do? :cig


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## Where the river goes (Aug 4, 2005)

Joeb said:


> Deep down I feel like a failure and in many ways I am (lack of money, job, car, girlfriend, friends). Why even bother anymore?


For years I felt the same way. I hated school, I hated my life and felt like a failure because I had nothing else going for me in life (no car, no job, no girlfriend, no friends, etc). I thought about it long and hard and decided that giving up would make me even more miserable. I knew it was going to be difficult, but I decided to face my problems head on. It was hell and to a certain extent it still is, but I've made some progress.

Dig deep down inside and find the motivation to work through the problems you are facing. You are NOT a failure because you have not given up.


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