# Do you have controlling parents?



## dreamloss (Oct 28, 2013)

How have you been raised? were you able to break free from them & how? 

My parents don't want me to move away. They guilt trip me so much and I'm the guiltiest person ever who wants to avoid all conflict so I listen. I know they mean the best. They just want security for me. But I'm 23 and I want to discover myself and experiment and not be sheltered my entire life you know?


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## Kilgore Trout (Aug 10, 2014)

Yes
My father is specially controlling and over-worried about everything.
It's not just them. I also tend to be very obeying. I can't disobey anything they say. Even if they haven't told me not to do something, if i feel like it will make them unhappy even slightly i would avoid doing that thing. As a result i avoided doing many of the thing that everyone my age used to do.


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## Fangirl96 (Apr 13, 2015)

My mother is very confusing when it comes to that. Sometimes, she's all like "you never know what happens, you might have to move away for work and i would never stop you like my own mother did". But then everytime i mention that i wanna move far away, she's all like "oh, you have to move far away and make me worried to death". Like, WHAT DO YOU WANT??? Im a person who feels very guilty towards my family aswell, so it's hard for me. Honestly, i don't think i'd ever be able to move out because i would feel too bloody guilty.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

My mom is so controlling. Everything has to go her way or she will raise hell. She pretty much made most of my decisions for me up until college. She has kinda backed off now but she still has her ways.


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## theloneleopard (Jul 5, 2015)

My mother, very much so. In fact, much of our conflict is due to the fact that I have a mind of my own. However, she would never stand in the way of my wanting to move off.

O.P., _please _don't allow your parents to guilt you into staying and sacrificing self-discovery! Break-out, if you can! Experience, experiment, explore!


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## Dark Jewel (Jul 18, 2014)

Very. They're a part (but not nearly all) of the reason why I am screwed up.


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## ManicXenophobe (Nov 8, 2013)

My mother is ideologically controlling, that is, her way of thinking and believing is the best way, and all her kids should follow her example.


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## Jammer25 (Feb 22, 2014)

Absolutely, my parents are controlling. I consider growing up in a controlling, protective household a huge part of why I have such issues with anxiety and socialization. And a big reason for why I'm so hesitant to get out there and just break it off with my parents, to live my own life finally.

When I was a kid, they almost never let me try new things without "holding my hand" or watching over my shoulder like hawks. 

Never really had the resources to move out. Now that I have a decent full-time job, I'm saving up to be able to move out some time in 2016.


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## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

they are a ****ing pain in the neck when they do this! don't think people realise how mad it can drive people with that sort of behaviour.


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## Pablito (Dec 27, 2015)

My parents had no business being parents.

My mother was toxic and controlling. When I was growing up she'd frequently tell me that she was too embarrassed to go to the grocery story because&#8230;

I got a C on my report card.
I didn't make my bed and my room was messy.
I wasn't first chair in band.
I choose to work backstage in theater class.

When my wife and I adopted our children she didn't approve of adoption and would try to sow seeds of fear and guilt. Then as the kids grew older she began telling them things like, I (their dad) was a bad person because I wasn't religious and that they shouldn't listen to me.

I finally had to cut off any contact with her. As hard as it was, it has been one of the best things that I've done.

I am not saying that you should cut off your parents. But when you reach a point where there is nothing in the relationship that supports you and it is only destructive you owe it to yourself to close that door.

So... Remind yourself that you're an intelligent, responsible adult who can and does make good decisions. It is your life to live. She can make suggestions but it is not her place to control you.


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## ISeeker (Dec 27, 2015)

If they do not let you be yourself, stay away from them when you get a chance. I should have done at the right time and now it's late.

Sent by my mobile


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## RockNroses (Aug 5, 2015)

Indeed my mom wants eveything to be her way. She literally turns off WIFI after like 10 pm and she knows I don't sleep that early but still. She also argued with me once cause I wanted to stay alone in my room yep in my own room.


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## Arcases (Nov 20, 2015)

my mom is very controlling , she trolls all around the house


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## DarrellLicht (Mar 9, 2013)

My dad wanted more than anything for me to progress in the LDS church/serve a mission etc. But I was just too much of a dud.. And I just plain did not get along with the church.

He was initially pretty dreary about this for a while. He would say things like "I'm a failure as a father" or "I turned down my 'high priest' calling because I can't even manage my own family"

He was very domineering in a dialog. After ten plus years have gone by, he has softened his stance in some last ditch effort to save what relationship there might of been. He doesn't put fourth this kind of concern for my sisters. 

Mom was controlling because she is a high maintenance woman. Her concerns were addressed first and foremost. Otherwise she had a tendency to step out of the marriage. I don't recall my mother treating my dad with any kind of respect. He never did anything wrong other than just not being 'enough' for her. Mom would often be verbally/physically abusive.

Nowadays, we just put on a smiley face and pretend nothing happened or are affected in any way. When I cant avoid them anyway.


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## Arcases (Nov 20, 2015)

my parents are controlling , how i can't see


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## kiwikiwi (Jul 27, 2009)

Most parents are the epitome of selfishness and just have children to take care of them when they are older. If you show signs of independence they will try to shut you down to keep control for their well being.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Nope. They were never controlling. I never had a curfew...nor much of any rules to follow. Not that I ever went out anyways.


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## gumballhead (Jun 8, 2011)

I'm sort of in the same situation myself. I live with just my Mom, and I'm pretty much her only living relative at this point. I'm not sure, but I figure she doesn't want me to move either for financial reasons, loneliness, or she doesn't trust that I would be capable of surviving in the real world. Either that, or she just doesn't care either way. She never encouraged me to do anything when I was near the end of High School, so I ended up not caring, and only skidding by on D's and C's (with a few B's and maybe an A or two). I sort of wish my Dad had been living with us. He wouldn't have let me sit around and do nothing for the amount of time that I did. I think that if I had told her I was interested in a certain subject and wanted to get further education on it, she would have been very supportive, however. She has and probably always will have a problem with anger, as well as a depressed and pessimistic view of the world. She always figures things are going to turn out poorly, and is always surprised when things turn out okay. My Dad wants me to do something more with my life, while my Mom seems to be satisfied with whatever I'm doing, or not doing with my life. Basically, I guess she's not controlling enough, and I don't see Dad enough for him to have an impact on my life anymore.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I don't think mine were, even with my mother's mental illness.


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## ang (Mar 16, 2012)

My parents, especially my father, are very controlling. Even now. I still had a curfew even as an adult, and my dad would make my much older brother responsible for me, even though I was already an adult. My dad thinks I cannot take care of myself. I'm married now, in my almost mid-30's. I'm a mom to a one year old. I'm a stay-at-home mother. My dad hates my husband, he thinks my husband doesn't do any good. And my dad will tell me how to parent my son, he doesn't trust my husband or I as parents. The problem is, I'm shy and timid, too nice, I've let my dad walk all over me for a long time and let him treat me like a child and be condescending. He isn't like that with my brother, my brother is a strong, smart, independent guy. He's different with my brother's wife and he doesn't tell them how to parent their son. I'm treated different because I'm the youngest and a woman and "weak". It's hard to have to courage to stand up to my dad or cut myself off from him and my mother. But having controlling parents is a big factor in my social anxiety and fear. I feel for all of you. Glad I'm not alone.


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