# Ever cut contact from online friendships?



## alwaysfaithful (Dec 8, 2014)

Anyone have an experience in this field besides me?


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## alwaysfaithful (Dec 8, 2014)

I ended online friendships with a a small group 5-7, without telling them I left. I went cold turkey and unfriended/blocked them out then disappeared. Should I have handled it differently? I wasted 5 years with these guys and nothing came of it. I became addicted to games, and gave out personal information like my name, age, state, and major city. Now I'm afraid of being tracked down and contacted.


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## FunkyFedoras (Aug 30, 2013)

dang 5 years though?

Well if you never wanna get in contact with them again, leaving cold turkey sounds fine to me. After 5 years though, they might wonder what the heck happened though...


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## alwaysfaithful (Dec 8, 2014)

Yeah, originally we had a guild of 15-20 but little by little people left without goodbyes. All that was left after 2-3 years was just us.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Many people but I've done it to a girl i kind of regret.


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## Temujin (Sep 3, 2012)

visualkeirockstar said:


> Many people but I've done it to a girl i kind of regret.


Could you get back into contact?

OP - are you sure you want to do it this way and not just tone down contact?


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## DNightingale (Oct 12, 2014)

I can think of at least 5 people with whom I was online friends for some 3-5 years but to whom I no longer talk to. Albeit if I wanted to I could probably get in contact again with most of them but I don't really see much point.

I suppose that's the thing with "normal" people; they grow up, they finish college, get jobs, maybe start a family and they become, well, adults. But some of us seem forever stuck in this odd limbo so suddenly there's not much compatibility anymore.


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## ImBrittany (Nov 2, 2013)

Damn yeah and it hurts like hell.


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## alwaysfaithful (Dec 8, 2014)

Temujin said:


> Could you get back into contact?
> 
> OP - are you sure you want to do it this way and not just tone down contact?


I came to the realization that, these are online people who were online "friends" that I knew but didn't really know. I've wasted too much of my life playing with people who I've never met/never wanted to meet. I cut gaming by 95% and cut contact with online people (besides this forum). Now I just want to heal and forget. I'm just not sure how long that will take.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Temujin said:


> Could you get back into contact?
> 
> OP - are you sure you want to do it this way and not just tone down contact?


I don't think so. Its been a long time now.


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## Stilla (May 13, 2009)

Why are you afraid of them tracking you down... do they seem dangerous, or what do you think is the worst thing that would happen?


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## Temujin (Sep 3, 2012)

alwaysfaithful said:


> I came to the realization that, these are online people who were online "friends" that I knew but didn't really know. I've wasted too much of my life playing with people who I've never met/never wanted to meet. I cut gaming by 95% and cut contact with online people (besides this forum). Now I just want to heal and forget. I'm just not sure how long that will take.


Sure its your choice, I was just wondering if you wanted to consider moderation; I mean it doesn't have to be all or nothing maybe nothing is too strong a reaction that would not be the best option in the long run. I mean, I was saying maybe you could try to just limit the amount of online gaming time; and not invest too much into your relationship with them. But that might not need to get in the way of casual chat and banter with them.


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## Temujin (Sep 3, 2012)

visualkeirockstar said:


> I don't think so. Its been a long time now.


I was saying as I did that once, for a year with someone - then got back into contact and it was really worth it.

Well, there's only one way to know for sure I guess^^ I mean you won't be any worse off. Obviously, if you don't want to, then don't, but it sounds like (if I may be so bold) this is something you do wan - in which case try and grab it.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Temujin said:


> I was saying as I did that once, for a year with someone - then got back into contact and it was really worth it.
> 
> Well, there's only one way to know for sure I guess^^ I mean you won't be any worse off. Obviously, if you don't want to, then don't, but it sounds like (if I may be so bold) this is something you do wan - in which case try and grab it.


I'm afraid. What if she's mad at me forever?


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## Temujin (Sep 3, 2012)

visualkeirockstar said:


> I'm afraid. What if she's mad at me forever?


Is it likely? You're already afraid she is mad at you though, so finding out won't change anything really then will it - in a way you have nothing to lose.


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## ShadowOnTheWall (Dec 24, 2010)

I've had it done to me. Hurt a bit but I moved on.

Sort of did it to one, though I didn't remove him from my contact list and we ended up patching things up.

I'd try to say goodbye, but if you really think their poison to you I can sort of understand


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## AllieG (Feb 20, 2014)

Many people seem to do it to me because they grow bored, busy, etc...


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

I have cut contact from many people over the years online. Really its gotten to the point that usually after a week or so I have no qualms about it.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Temujin said:


> Is it likely? You're already afraid she is mad at you though, so finding out won't change anything really then will it - in a way you have nothing to lose.


I think i found her on facebook but I'm not sure its her. I trying to go back to my old emails if i can find anything but couldn't. You know this is way back when MySpace was popular and they change everything so i couldn't find her there.


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## zomb (May 4, 2014)

I used to speak to someone online. We had good conversations. But after a short while I felt so much pressure. He spoke about meeting and I couldn't do it. I ended up quitting the site without a good bye. I felt guilty for that. I can't bring myself to go back.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Temujin said:


> Is it likely? You're already afraid she is mad at you though, so finding out won't change anything really then will it - in a way you have nothing to lose.


Actually its her. Its depressing seeing her after what I've done to her. I feel really bad. All i want to say to her is sorry if she doesn't want to talk to me anymore that's fine because i can understand the pain i put her through. Idk if she'll accept my friend request because it looks like she haven't been active since 2013.


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## alwaysfaithful (Dec 8, 2014)

To the people who left your online "friends", did they know some of your personal info for you to be worried about? I think I've come to terms with being worried about that, I'm just having a tough time forgetting them.


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## Temujin (Sep 3, 2012)

visualkeirockstar said:


> Actually its her. Its depressing seeing her after what I've done to her. I feel really bad. All i want to say to her is sorry if she doesn't want to talk to me anymore that's fine because i can understand the pain i put her through. Idk if she'll accept my friend request because it looks like she haven't been active since 2013.


Well, good luck. No way you can get her email though - as another way to see if she sees it?

Also, I was really hung up on not talking too, convinced I had really hurt the other person, it turned out in my case she , didn't think too much of it and totally understood when I told her I had developed socially phobia


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## going going Gone (Nov 24, 2014)

all the time. in fact, most of the people i used to chat to i don't talk to at all anymore because i just didn't have time or didn't like them anymore because they changed or they got annoying. I block almost everyone lol. i prefer staying in touch but not every day. otherwise it isnt gonna work out


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## Mur (Jan 20, 2011)

Plenty of times.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Temujin said:


> Well, good luck. No way you can get her email though - as another way to see if she sees it?
> 
> Also, I was really hung up on not talking too, convinced I had really hurt the other person, it turned out in my case she , didn't think too much of it and totally understood when I told her I had developed socially phobia


Thanks. I just sent her a message and i hope someday she will be able to see it. This definitely put me into tears.


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## Temujin (Sep 3, 2012)

visualkeirockstar said:


> Thanks. I just sent her a message and i hope someday she will be able to see it. This definitely put me into tears.


Aww, well at least you can hold your head up you tried something^^ Try to focus on other people too and not get too obsessive, especially over the past.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Temujin said:


> Aww, well at least you can hold your head up you tried something^^ Try to focus on other people too and not get too obsessive, especially over the past.


Thank you for the encouragement. We were like best friends. She was the only one i connected to. I don't really understand why i ignored her.


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## alwaysfaithful (Dec 8, 2014)

Thanks everyone for the advice/support. I feel a lot better and I think of them less and less. Hopefully within a year, I don't even think about them ever again.


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## Mikko (Jan 21, 2014)

Yes. There are so many actually but there are few whom still in my Facebook friend list.
Most of them are from tour groups, and there is one who is an English teacher in South Korea.


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## pocketbird (Jun 30, 2014)

Yes. I guess it's comforting for me, rather than not knowing what they think about me and feeling like I'm annoying/boring them all the time.


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## BackToThePast (Aug 31, 2012)

I've done it a few times, mostly since as the years went by our changing interests diverted us from each other. When the only thing holding a friendship together is a mutual interest, I think it's better to end it preemptively than to wait until things bomb and we're both thinking what the hell we're doing still talking to each other.


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## SuperSaiyanGod (Jan 21, 2014)

Ya, I have a couple times. Either that, or we just drift apart. Online friendships were usually my main outlet for friendships. Nowadays, not so much. I can't even say that I currently have friends.


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## CWe (Mar 7, 2010)

Nope.


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## moomoofarm (Dec 20, 2014)

Yep, not long ago, actually. I met a guy online last year and we started talking literally all the time in January this year. It was awesome at first. We shared so much in common, I opened up, he reciprocated, I felt like I'd made one of the strongest connections I'd ever experienced. That continued for months on end. But the thing with talking to someone all the time, and them being so insecure that they NEED you to do this otherwise you'll essentially be responsible for inflicting mental pain upon them, leads to saturation. Instead of looking forward to talking to him I started dreading it, because I knew I'd have to perform a script for hours upon hours with no chance for break. Considering I had my own mental problems to contend with as well, it just wasn't sustainable. 

He didn't see it the same way, though, and back in October he sent me a barrage of messages asking me why we'd grown distant, why I was so self-centered, how I was going to fix things, and at one point even explicitly told me he expected me to act the way he wanted me to act. And that was the last conversation we had. Believe me, I have the utmost sympathy for people who are struggling because I know all too well how much it sucks, but I can't and won't sacrifice my own comfort for someone else all the time. It became a poisonous friendship and I really didn't want to let it go, I would've worked on fixing it, but that last conversation just solidified how much I needed to let it go.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

I do it all the time, sometimes with the same people more than once. Although they always seem to return... *sweatdrop* but yeah, I get bored of speaking to people quickly, they're the ones who have to put in the effort, if that doesn't happen then contact as a whole usually ends.


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## Batcat (Nov 19, 2014)

Yeah I have, she tried to help me but couldn't understand my problems.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

Yes I do, yet generally most people do that to me as well. I'm very easily concerned when it comes to bothering people, so I'll never initiate even simple Hello's very often, chances are they expect me to, yet feel mutual about not bothering me, so then it 99% of the time just naturally fades...
I've always assumed this was the norm though, for most people.


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