# Women and men can't be friends



## Exacerbate (Sep 4, 2014)

Sorry for the click bait. I feel shallow for saying this but I really don't think women and men can be just "friends"the belief of this is usually after trying to initiate a romantic relationship with a friend or getting "friend zoned" the relationship gradually stops...anyone think the same or differently, mind explaining why?


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

Yes they can. I have had platonic women friends in the past. I never felt anything at all.


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

A drop of sexual antipathy makes this possible.


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

yeah like you're gonna get some well-rounded insight about romance from people on here come on


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

Some men and some women can be friends with the opposite sex while others can't. I had two really close friends that were girls in the past and it was totally platonic.


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

Gay men can.


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## Umpalumpa (Jan 26, 2014)

gopherinferno said:


> yeah like you're gonna get some well-rounded insight about romance from people on here come on


Why not?

Op, its not a matter of can or can not, obviously its possible (yes, even if you take into consideration that we are sexual animals) but its more relevant to the phase that you are in and what you want (and what you got).


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## lonerroom (May 16, 2015)

Exacerbate said:


> Sorry for the click bait. I feel shallow for saying this but I really don't think women and men can be just "friends"the belief of this is usually after trying to initiate a romantic relationship with a friend or getting "friend zoned" the relationship gradually stops...anyone think the same or differently, mind explaining why?


I think they can, I would want to be best friends with my girlfriend too if I had one. I think its stupid how guys and girls don't want to be friends while in a relationship, its no wonder no one stays together for more than a month. time to change the word relationship to "r e l a t i o n s h i t".


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## Were (Oct 16, 2006)

So bisexuals can't be friends with anyone?


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## hmnut (Aug 8, 2011)

The Friendzone and Friendship are not related.

I will spare you all my rant, but there are no innocent parties when a so called "friendship" ends in the "friend zone." 

But an actual Friendship between men and women can exist, as long as both parties are honest about their true feelings. If they spend time together because they legit enjoy hanging out it will work, if they are doing it because they think it will lead to romance or they are doing it just because they like the attention, chances are it will fail.

I have several female friends, most of them have boyfriends/husbands and I wouldn't date them even if they were single. We are just good friends.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Yes they can.


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## quesara (Jul 25, 2015)

I've had plenty of male friends.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

I agree. Don't think so? I challenge any of the girls on here to ask their male "friends" if they want to have sex with you. And act like you seriously want them too. They will all say yes and think 'Finally!"

If you're attractive, the thought of getting into your pants goes through your male "friends" mind quite frequently. Trust me. All of them will deny it too. The more they do it, the more they will deny it and call me a liar too.


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## Idontgetit (Nov 1, 2013)

I mean it’s rare to find a counter-part or person of the opposite sex who has the same hobbies or even interests as you do. (if you can hold on tight it’s rare as ****) One thing genders share in common is liking sexual intimacy (which includes an initial physical attraction) and financial security and is what often brings people together before anything else.


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## Cashel (Oct 29, 2013)

I don't know. I don't have any female friends. They try to be friends with me but I always get freaked out and drive them away. So, based on my personal experience, maybe men and women can't be friends.


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## persona non grata (Jul 13, 2011)

Oh my that is sad news


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## Cashel (Oct 29, 2013)

RelinquishedHell said:


> I agree. Don't think so? I challenge any of the girls on here to ask their male "friends" if they want to have sex with you. And act like you seriously want them too. They will all say yes and think 'Finally!"
> 
> If you're attractive, the thought of getting into your pants goes through your male "friends" mind quite frequently. Trust me. All of them will deny it too. The more they do it, the more they will deny it and call me a liar too.


Can bisexual folks be friends with anyone then?


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## aaaa1111bbbb2222cccc3333 (May 10, 2015)

They can be friends if there is no physical attraction on either side. If you're female and physically attractive, be sure your male "friends" secretly want to **** your ***** as hard as possible before _Removed_ Some women actually like to be surrounded by such "friends", it gives a nice boost to their ego.

_Staff Edit_


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

I feel that this is kind of true once you reach a certain age assuming both parties are single.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Cashel said:


> Can bisexual folks be friends with anyone then?


Can we stop with the fake gotcha nonsense? It's quite obvious what I'm talking about and if you can't relate, then you need more life experience. The way the heterosexual male interacts with the heterosexual female is something unique to only that.

You know what I'm talking about, don't pretend you don't.

_Staff Edit_


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Not true. I've had female friends. I wanted to bang all of them, but they weren't going near my ugly ***.


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## Cashel (Oct 29, 2013)

RelinquishedHell said:


> Can we stop with the fake gotcha nonsense? It's quite obvious what I'm talking about and if you can't relate, then you need more life experience. The way the heterosexual male interacts with the heterosexual female is something unique to only that.
> 
> You know what I'm talking about, don't pretend you don't.


This isn't "gotcha nonsense". I asked a question which you avoided. I'm not a cool kid.

I probably do need more life experience. Is the way that a heterosexual male interacts with a heterosexual female different from the way that homosexual folks act with each other? I don't know. I do know that heterosexuals are attracted to the opposite gender, homosexuals are attracted to the same gender and bisexuals are attracted to both genders and I don't understand how that sexual dynamic is different. Can you tell me what is different about how they interact with each other?

So can bisexual folks be friends with anyone?


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## losthismarbles (Jul 5, 2014)

I've had several friends who were girls. More than I've been friends with guys honestly. I've had some of them make advances on me and I still maintained friends with them. From my experience talking to guys and girls it seems like there are a lot guys who can't or rather don't want to be friends with girls. I speculate it's the usually the kind of guys who get upset if there is a girl invading their 'guy time' are the ones who are completely unable to be friends with girls, and likewise with girls and 'girl time'. But there are plenty who don't care and will be friends with someone regardless of their gender.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

Bi, so odd exception, apparently, but...

I've had male and female friends. About half of my best friends have been female, about half of them male. (Oddly fitting, I suppose.) And I've turned down sex with several female friends because I wasn't attracted to them that way.

I don't actually really understand how monosexuals operate. It must be frustrating being hardwired to find only one sex attractive, and then find yourself unable to be friends with them. Bisexuals don't have a "male/female" dichotomy; it's more of a "would/wouldn't" dichotomy. You can be friends with anyone in the "wouldn't" category without any problem, and my "wouldn't" category is about 90% of the population.



RelinquishedHell said:


> The way the heterosexual male interacts with the heterosexual female is something unique to only that.


Sounds like it creates nothing but angst, tbh. Glad it's something I don't have to worry about.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Sure they can, the people who think it's impossible are just ignorant and myopic.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)




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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

minimized said:


>


Why don't you have a seat


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

This isn't true. I'm a loser and would probably fall madly in love with any woman who was nice to me, but I've know plenty of mixed gender friendships. It's not a problem. It's actuality weird not to have friends of the other gender.


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## bloodymary (Apr 26, 2009)

I think they can, if they are both mature, free of personality disorders and able to communicate well. But this applies to all human relationships after all.


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## Slumknox (Feb 25, 2013)

We talking about being friends, or being in the "friends zone"? For a guy, the friend zone essentially means that you are romantically interested, but she is not. YES! In this case you cannot be friends. You can't have a platonic relationship with a girl you have feelings for. In order to be friends with someone you need to be honest with them. If you have feelings for them, you simply can't be honest. How are you going to talk to her, say, about a guy she is thinking about breaking up with? Or a host of other things? Your prospective is compromised.

Now, of course guys and girls can be friends if they aren't interested in one another in that kind of way. No need to explain this.


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## The Sleeping Dragon (Sep 29, 2011)

Thinking in absolutes is never a good idea.


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## momentsunset (Nov 10, 2009)

I'm sure some people can. I find it difficult though, unless the guy is gay. I usually wind up attracted to them.


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## DistraughtOwl (Mar 1, 2014)

If you aren't attracted to each other or were close as children or something it's possible to be friends with them and there not be problems. I do agree that generally it's very hard though.


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## SENNA (Jul 3, 2015)

Yes they can there is no reason why, you should be able to read the signs from a friend, to someone who wants more than friendship, I have a few girl friends who are mates and nothing more.


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

It depends on your attitude.

Personally, for whatever odd reason, I get along much better with girls than guys. I mean, with guys, unless I have a ton in common with them somehow, I just can't think of anything to talk to them about. With girls, I just find it easier to just talk about random stuff and joke around with. I'm not sure why this is. Maybe my brain is just hardwired by evolution to be more welcoming and charismatic around girls, whether I'm into them or not, or maybe I'm just more effeminate than I believe myself to be, whatever. But not only that, I can feel attracted to my female friends, and I'm still friends with my ex, and it's not a big deal for me. At the same time, I have no stigma about dating friends or taking friendships to the next level, in fact that would be preferable for me. I guess I'm just able to accept when something won't happen and move on.

I honestly have no idea how it works for most people. Like when you meet someone new, do you get to know them up until a certain point as acquaintancess and then decide whether you're going to date them or just keep them at that distance? Humans are strange


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## Aribeth (Jan 14, 2012)

The Sleeping Dragon said:


> Thinking in absolutes is never a good idea.


That was an absolute statement.


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

No im not sure i could be close friends with a male who is single and not be interested.


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## saya2077 (Oct 6, 2013)

My best online friend is a guy and gay. He'd never be attracted to me, and he's not my type. We've managed for 3 years.


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

Sure they can, as long as none is interested in the other person romantically or sexually. Most of my online friends were girls. In real life, I had closer relationships with girls than guys(work colleagues, for example). 

Can feelings emerge in time for some of the girls that were just friends initially? Of course. Best and most healthy love relationships start as really good friendships. The more shallow aspects like looks are less important and the strong bond, caring, etc. become more important. Unfortunately, if it's one sided, it can ruin the friendship.

Relationships are very tricky. Especially if both sides are bringing their own difficulties to the table.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

It is difficult, particularly if one side has romantic feelings. I've managed to make a good female friend this year though. It's been interesting, and very nice actually. But overall, I have great difficulties with this, also.


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## NewDawn (Aug 5, 2015)

They can just be friends, it's when you feel sexually attracted to them and they don't feel the same things go sour. [in my experience]


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## The Sleeping Dragon (Sep 29, 2011)

Aribeth said:


> That was an absolute statement.


There are always exceptions.  What I meant was thinking in black and white where there is no room for a grey area. This is not my mother language, forgive any mistakes.


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## Surly Wurly (May 9, 2015)

what if their genders were kept a mystery from one another

what then


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## catwizard (Oct 9, 2014)

my best friend is a guy, and i have other male friends.
my best friend that is a guy has mostly female friends.
really not that hard to be friends with the opposite sex


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## Theresa Ann (Jun 13, 2014)

From my own experience it is definitely possible to maintain a friendship regardless of gender. All throughout high school two of my closest friends were guys. Never once did either of them cross any kind of line or make things uncomfortable. Whether its because we weren't each others 'types' or simply saw each other as brother & sister I'm not sure. But it is possible to stay friends for sure.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

Sure I've been attracted to friends before. It's simple, you draw a boundary for yourself and you don't ever cross it.


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## Blakey (Jul 5, 2014)

Sure they can.


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## BlazingLazer (Jul 16, 2011)

Would kinda be interesting to see a poll on this.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

Honestly, I doubt I could be friends with most women.

The reason I say this is because i'm into traditional guy things. Most women aren't into the things i'm into and I tend to be quite immature at times. Most girls arne't into runescape, pokemon, video games, or other nerdy things. And it's pretty much impossible for me to talk to women unless we're both into the same things.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

xxDark Horse said:


> Honestly, I doubt I could be friends with most women.
> 
> The reason I say this is because i'm into traditional guy things. Most women aren't into the things i'm into and I tend to be quite immature at times. Most girls arne't into runescape, pokemon, video games, or other nerdy things. And it's pretty much impossible for me to talk to women unless we're both into the same things.


Aren't there a lot of female Pokemon fans? You can probably find them at conventions.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

I'm friends with a lot of women but its a lot harder I think if they're your same age and attractive.


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## CWe (Mar 7, 2010)

I think they can be friends as long as there is no attraction


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## ShinigamiKai (Aug 6, 2015)

Doesn't work for me. Anytime I've been convinced I was legitimately friends with a guy, I eventually find out there's a hidden agenda and I become the evil b***h that wouldn't date him -_-


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## StaceyLaine14 (Apr 11, 2015)

I've only had one friendship with a guy in which attraction didn't develop on one side or the other. He was gay. I couldn't just be friends with a guy. I'd spend all my time wondering why they like me enough to be friends but not to date. Because I have issues.


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## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

I think it can work. Given that both parties are already in a stable relationship.
Otherwise nah...
Just think about it logically. If you are heterosexual, aren't in a relationship and you meet someone of the opposite sex who you like being around, can talk and hang out with, and vibe with....somewhere along the line one/both of you is going to develop romantic / sexual feelings.

The only way I see this not happening is
a) both parties are already in stable satisfying relationships
b) one or both is homosexual
c) one or both is asexual


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## Exacerbate (Sep 4, 2014)

To people who say it requires there to be no romantic or sexual attraction, that seems impossible since I believe everyone's looking for an intimate relationships. As for the female who comment about male friends they're likely scared of not being around you because things would be awkward if they confessed, and for those who have a problem with black and white thinking, look at it this was I'm not looking for a dig inutile answer from both sexes I'm looking for an answer that contains a majority (for example 35% say yes it is impossible 65% say no) ultimately no would be the most important or true answer because it could more so than not be the people we interact with on a daily basis not just associates but strangers.


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## Peighton (Jun 12, 2015)

I've had guy friends but then again, they're ones that I grew up with so they were more like brothers to me. The rest I can't speak for.


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

RelinquishedHell said:


> I agree. Don't think so? I challenge any of the girls on here to ask their male "friends" if they want to have sex with you. And act like you seriously want them too. They will all say yes and think 'Finally!"
> 
> If you're attractive, the thought of getting into your pants goes through your male "friends" mind quite frequently. Trust me. All of them will deny it too. The more they do it, the more they will deny it and call me a liar too.


I think that's an unfair assessment... Of course if a girl ask a guy if he wants to have sex he will most likely want to...but just because you find someone ****able does not mean your friendship with that person is worthless/nonexistent or that you wish to have a romantic relationship with that person... Just means that your open to the possibility of getting some tail should a friend be down for a fwb situation


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## Exacerbate (Sep 4, 2014)

TobeyJuarez said:


> I think that's an unfair assessment... Of course if a girl ask a guy if he wants to have sex he will most likely want to...but just because you find someone ****able does not mean your friendship with that person is worthless/nonexistent or that you wish to have a romantic relationship with that person... Just means that your open to the possibility of getting some tail should a friend be down for a fwb situation


As a guy, that means you wanted it from the start,honestly why would you **** someone you view as a sister or associate. It means you've at least contemplated it prior being asked,which leads me to believe everyone,or atleast every guy would like or is extremely open to a intimate relationship with said female, this apples for homosexuals as well...


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

Exacerbate said:


> As a guy, that means you wanted it from the start,honestly why would you **** someone you view as a sister or associate. It means you've at least contemplated it prior being asked,which leads me to believe everyone,or atleast every guy would like or is extremely open to a intimate relationship with said female, this apples for homosexuals as well...


All I'm sayin is that if I weren't already with someone, I have female friends that I would damn sure have sex with, but wouldn't be in a relationship with. Why? Because I find them attractive and the thought of having sex with them does sound appealing, but from having witnessed how they act towards their SOs I wouldn't want a romantic relationship with them due to issues that don't effect me as just a friend.


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## mooncake (Jan 29, 2008)

I have some male friends from work who, I'm pretty positive, don't want to sleep with me. I get the impression that the idea of it would, to them, be akin to the idea of them sleeping with a sibling... no sexual chemistry whatsoever (well, you'd hope...)


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## SwtSurrender (Nov 24, 2014)

Exacerbate said:


> Sorry for the click bait. I feel shallow for saying this but I really don't think women and men can be just "friends"the belief of this is usually after trying to initiate a romantic relationship with a friend or getting "friend zoned" the relationship gradually stops...anyone think the same or differently, mind explaining why?


Yes, like that movie When Harry Met Sally.

Yes me too, it's hard to control yourself, when you have a boyfriend and also want boys to be your friends, I want to bang them all!


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## thomasjune (Apr 7, 2012)

Yes they can. But if you want to bang every women you ever meet then you're going to have a hard time making friends.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Topshelf (Jan 17, 2014)

i think what op is trying to say here is the main reason men talk to woman is to get in there pants


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## Watching (Aug 7, 2015)

Exacerbate said:


> Sorry for the click bait. I feel shallow for saying this but I really don't think women and men can be just "friends"the belief of this is usually after trying to initiate a romantic relationship with a friend or getting "friend zoned" the relationship gradually stops...anyone think the same or differently, mind explaining why?


The reason is because of the possibility of attraction right?

So basically you are saying Bi Sexual people can't possibly have friends because there is always a risk of some sort of social contract agreement between friends that says "No sex ever."

You also need to remember some people have friends who they bone quite regularly. The friend zone is one of those ridiculous things that people say when rejection needs a boogeyman.

Here's the thing, all personal interaction, regardless of anything isn't set in stone either way. You can lose a friend, ruin a relationship or start something out of nowhere with anyone.

It's all relative to the flux man.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

I can't though.


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## yourfavestoner (Jan 14, 2010)

AngelClare said:


> A drop of sexual antipathy makes this possible.


They can be friends when neither is attracted to the other.

Men can only wallow in the friend zone for so long before they make a sloppy move and kill the friendship.


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