# "Everyone find a partner"



## jaayhou

Maybe it's just me, but was this not worst possible phrase to hear while growing up? That, or "everyone get together in groups of 3,4, etc." Through junior high and high school these words would instantly send me into my fight or flight response. You look around, eying potential candidates, only to find that the person on either side of you has chosen the person in the next seat that is not you. Then comes the next line, "who doesn't have a partner" and you're the only one respond. How is it that the classroom always seems to an odd number of people?

I'm now in college, and there are few opportunities for this to happen, but the phenomenon always seems to rear its ugly head again in one way or another. I'm not a leper, I don't smell, and I'm friendly enough. Any strategies to beat this? Anyone else know what I'm talking about?











(Mods feel free to move this to "students" or "frustration," because I always seem to post in the wrong forum)


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## copper

I have been out of college for 13 years and this still happens. I have to take some many trainings a year and most time we have to pair off working in groups. I just hate those kind of trainings. I am glad I am done with them for the year. But starting in February they will start up again. The training in February is physical intervention training where we got to get together with a partner and restrained each other. :hide


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## katelyn

I totally hated having to find a partner or a group at school. I can remember that almost every single time, I was the one left over who the teacher had to find another pair or group to work with. What makes me angry is that teachers don't realize what effect this has on someone when it happens over many years. Why can't they just allocate the groups themselves?

Another related problem happened to me in the first year of university when we were supposed to work in pairs for some coursework. I was top in my class but because I have SA no one knew me and all the other good students paired up with each other, leaving me to work with people who would just copy my work and contribute nothing. That was of course totally unfair and I complained, and in the end got to work by myself. But it does illustrate the problems of being asked to work with others.


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## whiterabbit

I used to hate this too. Especially when we'd have to get into groups for science to do experiments and stuff. I used to just ignore the teacher's instructions and work by myself. Sometimes I got away with it and other times she'd notice and make a big announcement to the class "WHY IS _____ WORKING BY HERSELF??" She saw I was being left out and somehow thought that the best way to combat this would be to highlight it every lesson. It's not even important to work in groups or pairs most of the time anyway. Like, why does it take two brains to connect a simple electrical circuit or heat something over a bunsen burner?

I did have a lot of people who took pity on me at school though so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I always thought it was strange that the teachers didn't allocate groups more often because otherwise you get people chatting away to their friends instead of doing their work. And the worst is when you're doing sports and the teacher chooses two captains who pick the teams! That's just set up to single out the loners in the class!


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## Andrew White

Somehow I had friends in school so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Still filled me with dread however.


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## njodis

I was mostly ok, because I had casual acquaintances, but there were a few classes where I just didn't know anyone. It really sucks when they do the partner thing and you don't know anyone.


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## lyssado707

This happened to me on my first bio lab this semester. EVERYONE in the dang class automatically paired up, no problem. I was stuck terrified and alone for like ten minutes before some dude asked If I had anyone to work with.


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## DuckandCover

Hearing those four words makes my heart pound. I dread it every single time. This used to happen to me a lot in High School where I was always the quiet one in class. In some classes I did have some friends though. Usually my survival instincts would kick in and I always searched for another quiet person who doesn't have a friend either, and we became allies together. I hate partnet time.


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## roswell

Ouch. Just reading the title of your topic was like being stabbed with a dagger.

Whenever I heard those words, I would rifle through my backpack pretending as though I was so distracted trying to find something that I wasn't aware of what we were doing. That way, when everyone had a partner but me and the teacher called out "Who doesn't have a partner?" I wouldn't look like a friendless twit, but merely a confused twit. Ho yeah! :clap


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## themockingbird

gosh i hate those words, all through junior high and up to where i am in high school. it's especially bad this year, because i'm not good friends or comfortable with anybody =[


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## shygirlxx

Oh yeah, this is awful. 9/10 times I'm not friends with any of the other students. And if I do slightly know somebody in there, thinking maybe we could possibly partner up, they usually find somebody else before me. :/


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## SeaSwallow

I used to dread this sentence, too. Still don't like it, but something's changed over the years. Sometimes I just don't care. Usually the teachers make the groups themselves, and if they don't then I choose the nearest/smallest one (if I don't sit next to someone). That takes a bit of courage. Only thing I fear this year are physics lessons, where I sit alone. I just hope that I can do all these practical tasks myself, otherwise I have to form a group with some other students who are already together (which always makes me feel like I shouldn't be with them). :hide


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## Johnny1234

Eww. Hate that phrase. In junior high it was pretty bad. In high school, it got a little better, but about 40% of my classes freshman-junior year I did not know anyone. THis year, though, is actually pretty good in this aspect. I have people to work with in all my classes(Its senior year so I know many people already) and the only class I am not sure yet is my physics class because I switched from AP physics(too hard) but I think I will be fine cuz I know someone.

But yeah, it was either that or a speech all throught my junior and high school years. So glad I graduate this year


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## su0iruc

Ugh.... I hate that phrase. It always gets me anxious. In high school and middle school, I'd usually find myself being one of those people who had to be added to a group because there were no more partners left. I'm in college now and there are some classes where we have to get into groups. I don't really mind as much though because the groups are usually decided by who you're sitting next to. Although in my math class, we were partnered up from the beginning to do group work. Sometimes my partner doesn't show up to class and I get too anxious to ask another group to temporarily join. Not fun...


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## bauer_013

Ew. I hate those words. I get really mad at the teachers that are too lazy to put us into groups, so they make us go find people. An alarm practically goes off in my head everytime I find out we have to do group work because of the fact that we have to find partners.


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## Futures

yeah, I've been partnerless many times. After a while I decided my strategy would be to ask someone right away before they had a chance to find a partner of their own. It was usually successful unless they were good buddies with someone next to them.


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## Johnny1234

Futures said:


> yeah, I've been partnerless many times. After a while I decided my strategy would be to ask someone right away before they had a chance to find a partner of their own. It was usually successful unless they were good buddies with someone next to them.


Sometimes I would still insist on working with that person lol so much that I asked my teacher if we can be a group of three. It usually worked out.


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## VetChick

:hide I'm still trying to get over that in college right now. I took a lot of crap from several high school teachers for not going to a university but they don't know the pressure that's on me already....... :get


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## Farren

One suggestion for avoiding this experience is, from the first day of class, be friendly with the two people who sit to your right and left. Initiate small talk and get to know them, at least on a superficial basis. If or when the dreaded dictate ("find a partner") is issued, at least you will have two immediate people to turn to with relative ease. It's much easier in college, because there aren't as many cliques.


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## itsmemaggi

Last semester I almost quit school because of this. It was the first day, and my professor was discussing the syllabus and a group project we had to complete. The girls (most of the education classes I take are made up of all girls) decided they wanted to choose their groups right away. So guess who got left out...

I didn't (and still don't) understand, either. I knew and spoke to many of them on occasion. I looked nice, because it was the first day of school (I tend to give up after that). And not to toot my own horn or anything, but I was that professor's favorite. Be in my group and you're guaranteed an A.

Still, no one picked me. My professor had to spend ten minutes asking the class to let me in one of the groups. No one made a move to do so. Some girl finally took pity on me and partnered with me, leaving her own group. (I later on returned the favor by helping her through an unwanted pregnancy which she later aborted. Sad.)

Even the girl who was ABSENT the first day had a group before I did! It was one of the most humiliating moments of my life, and I was sure I'd never go back to that class, again. I did, of course, but I was quite embittered by the whole ordeal.

xoxo
Maggi


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## Farren

(((Maggi))) These experiences are as baffling as they are painful. "Embittered" explains the effect very well. I will never understand how people can be so cold.



itsmemaggi said:


> Last semester I almost quit school because of this. It was the first day, and my professor was discussing the syllabus and a group project we had to complete. The girls (most of the education classes I take are made up of all girls) decided they wanted to choose their groups right away. So guess who got left out...
> 
> I didn't (and still don't) understand, either. I knew and spoke to many of them on occasion. I looked nice, because it was the first day of school (I tend to give up after that). And not to toot my own horn or anything, but I was that professor's favorite. Be in my group and you're guaranteed an A.
> 
> Still, no one picked me. My professor had to spend ten minutes asking the class to let me in one of the groups. No one made a move to do so. Some girl finally took pity on me and partnered with me, leaving her own group. (I later on returned the favor by helping her through an unwanted pregnancy which she later aborted. Sad.)
> 
> Even the girl who was ABSENT the first day had a group before I did! It was one of the most humiliating moments of my life, and I was sure I'd never go back to that class, again. I did, of course, but I was quite embittered by the whole ordeal.
> 
> xoxo
> Maggi


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## sh0x

yeah i hated that phrase also. and one time we had to pair up with someone of opposite sex! awful, just awful


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## SusanStorm

Yeah,I did hate that too.I was always the one who was left out.
And the teacher always had to ask:"Can Karin join any of you?"Then there would be silence until someone rolling their eyes would say "ok". 
When I wanted to become a teacher this would happen all the time,and I was still the only one left out.This made feel like such a loser,and people would pity me all the time.

I know that there are some teachers,at least nowadays, will make the groups themselves to avoid the same people grouping every time and to not make someone left alone.

Luckily this does not happen now,and anyway I hate working in groups.The times I've worked in groups I haven't learned anything really..(or maybe the fact that working in groups are usually noisy and not a very effective working method)


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## skyvalley

Argh, I hated that when I was in school. Not that bothered now, but in school it was a nightmare.

One time we had to get into groups and create a dance routine in gym and I had no group, but I was stood near these two girls and someone said to them, 'is she working with you?' And I thought they said yes! So I joined in, following the moves they were doing, for nearly an hour. Near the end of the class, they said 'you do realise, you're not actually working with us don't you?' That was an utter 'oh f**k' moment! They ended up going to the class teacher and she was really annoyed with me and put me in another group.

It's sort of funny now, but it wasn't when I was 12! I didn't go to school for the rest of the week. When I did go back no one ever mentioned it though, so that was an overrreaction on my part.


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## ebolarama

-


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## crash911

Ugh I hate that. Ever since middle school I've hated it. Hated hated hated it! It terrified me. I was always the kid that the teacher had to put into another pair, because I was left out. It still happens to me. It's not as bad anymore, because some of my teachers have realized that when you pick your own group, most of the time nobody works because they've picked their friends. But even last Monday in my gym class, we were playing a game, and we had to get into our own teams. It sucked. Because I'm not friends with anyone who was playing the game, and eventually someone I'm aquainted with said I could go into their team. But yeah, it sucked.

It's not too bad this year (my senior year), because I think I've just accepted that this is going to happen, and I don't care anymore. Like if the teacher says we can work together or individually, I'll just go off on my own, because I don't care anymore. Or if the teacher says to find someone, I sometimes won't, and just do it myself, or just ask the person I'm next to.


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## TreeFrog

When I end up in those groups it seems like the others start having their own social conversation and I am just sitting there waiting for the teacher to bring the class back together.

But the WORST thing of all for me is the: "Now let's go around the room and tell a little bit about ourselves."  I just want the floor to open and suck me in! I get so damn nervous-I feel like I am dying while having to sit there and wait my turn. And I don't hear a word anyone else says. 
I started a stress reduction yoga/meditation class five weeks ago (to help with my SA) and the teacher had the audacity to pull that old one out of the hat. I swear I almost walked right out of there I went into such a panic mode. But I did something unexpected, I volunteered to go first. I managed to choke through it with a quivering voice as people were giving me pitying looks. But it was the fear of feeling so sick in my body and sitting there in fight or flight syndrome with a god-awful painful lump in my throat that made me want to get it over with.


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## Chalk

Well, wow...
I can relate to.. Most every post in this specific topic.

Few days ago we had the "Everyone find a partner" occurance in school.
It was a different kind of lesson, where an Actor/Improviser would have us do certain excersises to practice our improvisational skills. Those excersises were, for example, we were to grab something out of the air and say 
"I give you..." and then make something up. Teacher had different variations for every excersise 
and we had to find a new partner every time! Was extremely frustrating.
As if though every single time i had avoided such things now came back for me.... :stu 

Well how did it go?
Pretty... Ok actually. First time when we were to find a partner, the teacher, seeing that i hadn't find someone shouted out 
"We have a fella here without a partner!" and very fortunatley, the number of pupils in class was even so i was never without.


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## Shy One

It seems to be harder to hear this in college than it was in high school. I was the loner then and everyone knew it. Now in college i'm embarrassed when I can't get up the nerve ask someone to be my partner. Honestly, last time this happened I was eyeing the door ready to make a break for it. That is until the teacher told someone to partner up with me. I'm a terrible partner. I can't think when I'm working with someone else.


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## Margaretm08

ha. Yeah---although I always end up finding people to work with in class fairly easily. My heart gets a jolt when I hear those words. Im immediately freaking out because everyone else kind of looks around and knows who they're going to be with. By the time the teacher is done explaing what we're going to do, everyone has their partners. Its things like that though---I've become pretty numb to them. I dont let things like that make me feel bad.


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## Noca

I hate finding a partner, having no friends and end up getting stuck somewhere.


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## leavemealone158

omg, I hate those words, so much...my English teacher wants us to make a close bond with our class mate, so she does that whenever possible. I'm glad if there an odd number cause I work alone then.


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## syphilitic_monarch

I hate it so much. I tried to make friends with people on my left and right at the beginning of the year, but they either moved away or found friends in the class. 

I elected to do a group project by myself because I was so worried about finding people to work with. It took me 3x as long, and I didn't get a good mark, but I didn't feel like I had a choice.


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## Drella

Yes, "Everyone find a partner" is a more dreaded phrase for me than "You have cancer." Luckily, there is usually someone sitting around me that hates group work almost as much as I do (or is just lazy to move) and asks me to work with them right off the bat. 
This worked to my advantage in chemistry lab, as the girl who asked me to be her partner had, by far, the highest grade in the class.


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## bambolea

This very phrase causes me to have a mini heart attack :afr. It happened once in science class and i completely just gave up on the idea of having to find a group, so i asked to go to the 'washroom', and instead went on a long walk around the school, and came back at the end of class. But then atleast the excuse i gave to my teacher about not feeling good wasn't a complete lie. There's this whole 'fight or flight' response, and, well now it's just been more flight, until now where my mark in that class is becoming a problem :S


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## IllusionOfHappiness

Noca said:


> I hate finding a partner, having no friends and end up getting stuck somewhere.


 :squeeze

We were supposed to get into groups of four today.
I worked alone.

I'm not willing to work on my reputation till I'm out of that place.


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## IllusionOfHappiness

bambolea said:


> This very phrase causes me to have a mini heart attack :afr.


If I'm med-less and my teacher says the words "and now I'm gonna get you to..." my heart starts racing because I know what's coming.

THEN how the hell am I to find a partner?

I'd be stuttering my damn face off.


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## Catharsis

I remember in my chem class in high school the teacher wanted us to pair up, and that person was your lab partner for the whole year. Although I liked my partner, she barely did any work, was always goofing off, and barely showed up for the last 2 months of the semester. I ended up getting put in some of the other groups when she skipped class. Somehow the teacher always got annoyed at ME too, like I was the one being a goof-off. I was not so much annoyed by my partner, as I sympathized with her because she had her own personal problems to deal with, but I detested my chem teacher.

Now in university, I skip class if there's even a hint of group discussions or 'find a partner,' even if it means losing marks. Social people think this is a good way to get acquainted with those around you. Unsocial people will use this as another example of how they fail at life.


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## ZachAttack

This phrase was terrible for me. I have moved around quite a bit. From 6th grade to 11th grade, I went to a different school every year, only the jump from 8th grade to 9th grade was in the same place. So I would never know anyone in the slightest bit and have to adjust to the culture of yet another part of the US. Because my parents were military, I lived overseas in Japan for a long time. As you can imagine, the culture shock was pretty huge.


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## kokoloko

We do this still, in grad school, but it's much easier. I just "fake laugh" and say "OH well I guess I have no friends then - thanks guys!" or make some other remark because we're more of a cohesive one big group. School was like cliques everywhere smirking at you.


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## jane

Thank you all! It's nice to know I'm not alone in dreading this.


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## endtroducing

Yep, I hated that phrase. HATE. It was horrible in high school where it seemed like every class involved group work. It's not too bad in college with the exception of language classes where group work, being called on, and oral presentations are inevitable. If it weren't for my interest in linguistics, I would never EVER willingly take a foreign language class.


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## AcidicJuiceMotel

Uggh, I still hate that phrase. We have to do it in acting still, but that's the only class where I feel comfortable stepping out of my shell. One of my biggest triggers for anxiety is situations like that. I have a very deep fear that if I ever have to pick someone out of a group, they will think I'm especially attatched to them, and make all these assumptions, particularly that I'm persuing them romantically (weird, right?), and get creeped out by me.


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## zolagerminal

skyvalley said:


> Argh, I hated that when I was in school. Not that bothered now, but in school it was a nightmare.
> 
> One time we had to get into groups and create a dance routine in gym and I had no group, but I was stood near these two girls and someone said to them, 'is she working with you?' And I thought they said yes! So I joined in, following the moves they were doing, for nearly an hour. Near the end of the class, they said 'you do realise, you're not actually working with us don't you?' That was an utter 'oh f**k' moment! They ended up going to the class teacher and she was really annoyed with me and put me in another group.
> 
> It's sort of funny now, but it wasn't when I was 12! I didn't go to school for the rest of the week. When I did go back no one ever mentioned it though, so that was an overrreaction on my part.


I can totally empathise because similar things happened to me regularly. For ex, when I was 10 or so I was in a science class excursion and we had to form groups to go out into the bushes to collect insect specimens or something (I forget which.) I thought I was in a group with two other people, but apparently there was a misunderstanding and they didn't even know I was there and they ended up actually wandering off on their own and left me behind.
Another time I was supposed to work on a semester-long group project with three other people, and the entire semester they didn't even know I was supposed to be in the group, because I didn't say anything due my extreme nrevousness. Embarrassing.


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## dave :o

ugh...first semester I had a biology lab, we had to partner up EVERY session. I actually ended up dropping that course just because of that reason -_-


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## jaayhou

I'll add another funny story that I just remembered...

Two years ago we had a "field exercise" in an ecology class. It involved walking around outside and taking notes and measurements of various things depending on the exercise. The 50-60 of us gathered in an initial meeting area essentially as complete strangers, then the professor told us all to find partners for the quarter. At that moment, it was almost as if everybody instantly turned, away paired up, and scattered to walk around the campus, leaving me dumbfounded. 

I didn't know what to do, so I just walked off by myself in hopes I would think of a way out of this mess. I eventually ran into two guys working on the assignment and, after playing dumb like I didn't know this was a group assignment, I asked them if we could work as three. They were fine with it, as was the professor, so thank God I was spared any further embarrassment for the quarter. Before that day, I really thought this kind of thing had stopped happening to me.


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## Mc Borg

That has happened to me so many times, I remember being saved a lot of the time by somebody saying "Joe, let's be partners", but sometimes I had nobody and stood there :um thinking about what I was gonna do. I was too afraid to ask somebody and nobody seemed to ask me, then the teacher would eventually assign me, I hated it because everybody was staring at me, probably thinking why I had no friends.


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## jane

Yeah! I was freaking out over group assignments, but everything turned out well. In one case, a girl sent out a few e-mails looking for a lab partner. In another, I asked the guy next to me if he had a group, and then we found two others. 
Not knowing anybody in a college classroom really isn't shameful.


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## mistermet

This line was just one of those things that I totally hated about school. And it always seemed to take place in a class where I knew nobody. I remember in my junior year, I had a class where I knew nobody, and we'd have to partner up in that class, but in the class where I knew like 2 or 3 people, my teacher would always pick partners (and I never ended up with the people I knew, either, which was even worse). To this day, I feel my heart skip a beat when that line is uttered.


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## unknown.quantity

I am seriously considering skipping school, because I as usual thought I had found someone that would help me in science (science is compulsory, but I am not good at it), but that person found their old friends and is now giving me the cold shoulder leaving me to desk hop (swap desks every lesson, and make me look and feel like a loner). Why do teaches teach like this? 

:get


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## tryingout

This is one of the scariest things for me, maybe even scarier then giving class presentations. It was really bad in high school for me so much so that I almost droped out of high school to avoid my english class that was nothing but partner and group work every class since the teacher never really wanted to teach. Now I am in college and I have somehow been able to do group work a lot for my major but now that I am in my last semester I am having a really hard time again. The courses I am taking now have a lot of partner and group work that it makes me afraid to go to class.


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## sully20

This is one of the worst thing I hated about school. Sometimes I just simply wouldn't get a partner and work on something individually. (If it was just a little assignment or something.)
I remember once I was close to tears because I felt like everyone could tell that I was working by myself and had no one to ask...

I hated group projects, I never learned anything from them because I was so worried. And when I was thrown with random people I was always afraid to put in my ideas and what not.


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## elizabeth86

I never had a problem with this in highschool as I had a lot of friends. When I started uni though.. It seemed like everyone else knew each other. HOW? even on the first day!

The scariest line for me though is the 'let's go around the room and tell everyone about ourselves'


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## ezpk

i can totally relate. this always happens to me in science.

in other classes, i have a person who i can always go to, but in science - and spanish - i have to find people. "3 to 4" is the worst, cause if there is a group of three i am reluctant to confront them.

if im in doubt, i try to find someone as bad off as me.


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## Melmo

I remember one time in gym class in grade 9, i didn't know anyone in my class. The teacher told us all to form groups and do some type of activity, I cant remember exactly what. I didn't have a partner or group. I think I had like 2-3 friends in grade 9 which were friends from middle school and we were all in seperate classes. The teacher must have noticed that I never talked to anyone, and she asked me "Don't you have any friends?" That was humiliating. Sometimes I want to be a teacher, just so I could do things differently then the teachers like I had, because I know how some shy students feel. But I would never be able to have the courage to teach in front of a whole class every day.


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## batman can

This wasn't so much a problem for me in high school but definitely in college. We always had the option of going by ourselves which was good but I always ended up being the only person alone. Felt kind of toolish. It made the work load a lot harder too doing assignments that were intended for a 2 person group.


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## hulkamaniak

dave :o said:


> ugh...first semester I had a biology lab, we had to partner up EVERY session. I actually ended up dropping that course just because of that reason -_-


I only just done this myself, i dropped my film class because everything was group work, i did a course pre- to this course for film and there was no group work, this course is all group work, meaning i will be so nervous each day i wont get good grades.


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## JMX

I've always hated that, but not as much when it's in groups of like 4+, because you can just join without really saying much. When it comes to finding a partner though, it really bothers me because obviously your partner's attention is completely directed towards you.


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## Kitsune

Oh I hate that phrase, especially in Allied Health Class where I'm the only boy in a class of about 40 girls (plus it is a small school). I always ended up by myself and drew stares almost everyday. X___X


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## Manah

I despise group work and that phrase... xP That's all we did last year in my english class, I rarely went to that class because of it. I ended up failing a semester too.

This year, I have even more group work. The teacher usually lets me work alone though, but then my classmates think I'm anti-social or something. It actually happened today and I was called anti-social.

Melmo: Same thing happened to me! We had to get into groups in my government class and of course I decided to work alone. I've just switched my government class to an earlier one, so I didn't know anyone in that class. Well, my teacher comes over and then asks me if I'm working alone and goes on to say, "Don't you want to make any friends?" or something along the lines to that. xP That was embarassing!


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## shyguy87

In high school, it wasn't so bad because I usually knew at least one person in the class that I could join with.

Now that I'm in college, it's 10 times worse because I really don't know anybody. What makes it worse is when everybody seems to have friends in class and have no problem getting a group. I usually have to go up to the front of the class and tell the professor I don't have a group/partner. How Embarassing.


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## Hallran

HATE those words. Probably the only person in class who would hope that the teacher would select the groups themselves. Whenever I could I worked by myself (and always did better). Otherwise I'd just wait til everyone was in groups and ask to join the one who needed another person. People were usually good about it.


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## CopadoMexicano

I tried to make friends but couldnt keep them in college and I heard college or university in the start of ideal friends so much for friendships


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## laura024

I'm always the loner. I work by myself. If groups are mandatory, the teacher will finally see me and say something. Everyone stops and looks until a group lets me join. Sometimes no one says anything so I'm stuck with people. That's the most awkward because I know that they didn't want me in the group at all.


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## stuck_inside

I despise it when a teacher does that; I always have no partner and end up being put into a group that seems annoyed that I'm there. :um I wish teachers would just make up the groups themselves.


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## proximo20

Happened to me last week. Actually I asked to someone and he kind refused so I had to ask to the prof. and she paired me with a girl and a dude saying he is the last person left out could he join to your group. You may know how emberassed I was. 

Next week we will have a discussion. I am planning to sit in the last row in the class and avoid an eye contact with the prof. 

Wish me luck


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## meghanaddie

this is one of the many reasons i'm a college dropout


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## Madstuhh

:um 

One of my biggest problems.
We do group work almost every single day

I dont know why it matters so much to me,
considering i dont contibute to the group at all.
I just do the work myself until the teacher
gives me detention. 

Fun.


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## Nickel

I hate those words. One time I asked some girls if I could join their group and they said no so I just worked by myself for the whole time and the teacher was like "why don't you have a partner, Nicole?". Except she said it in French (it was French class) and I didn't understand her so everyone giggled. It sucked.


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## Perfectionist

If I ever actually manage to graduate university and become a teacher, I will so ban this sentence from my classroom.


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## jane

Every semester I worry, every semester it turns out okay.

I just turn to somebody standing alone, and ask them "Do you have a partner?" 
This isn't high school- people are always grateful you asked, and never turn you down.


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## luminary_pustule

Oh god I hate that. In art history our project may be a group presentation. No friends and everyone already in big groups of friends. It's going to be decided on next week, I really hope it's something else. I don't want to be stuck in a group. I'd rather do it alone and have double the work.

Edit: It happened. Now I'm in a group with people I suspect to ***** about me 'not talking', and it's 40% of my final grade Public speaking presentation... :rain


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## hichews

I can totally relate to the title of this post. 

Before I usually thought that no one would want to be my partner. Now I'm just scared.


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## SadRosesAreBeautiful

:hide This is what I wish I could do when I hear that dreadful phrase. 


:lurk is usually how it works for me.


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## Hallran

What also sucks is that everyone else in the class wants to work in groups/pairs. If we're just working on an assignment alone, someone will ask the teacher if they can pair up. So then everyone pairs up except me.

But I just have to remember I do better on my own.


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## proximo20

I am studying finance at grad level and they want to pair us in every course. It is just because this reduces the amount of the paper they read by half.

I hate lazy teachers and students who want to pair up in every project.

Btw these finance students they are too social for this subject. I mean this is job is very boring and if you know something you better keep it for yourself. My classmates should have chosen Mba or PR I think.


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## Judith

I hated that in high school and middle school. It made me feel lonely and rejected. However, since college, I've managed to initiate the joining of groups and partnerships and have yet to be turned down by anyone.


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## proximo20

jane said:


> Every semester I worry, every semester it turns out okay.
> 
> I just turn to somebody standing alone, and ask them "Do you have a partner?"
> This isn't high school- people are always grateful you asked, and never turn you down.


You must be pretty...


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## its_Rob

That is the phrase I hate the most :hide I'm always left with out a group so my teacher would ask a group if I could join them (I hated that) so I'm always stuck with a group that never wanted me and I felt anxious and miserable.:afr


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## saillias

Doesn't happen in college anymore because I luckily have a major where that never happens - History  Classes are just lectures and there's one or 2 term papers, a mid-term and a final. 

However at the beginning of this semester one of my profs asked us get up and introduce ourselves to the class. I got up and walked out. No way I would ever do something like that.


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## solasum

I always appreciate teachers who pair you up with someone, so you can pretend that you're as unhappy with the assignment as your partner.


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## AceRimmer

I'm dealing with this issue now. I have a group project due next week and have tried finding a partner for the past 2 weeks and everybody is teamed up or so it seems. Professor still insists I find one. To paraphrase Jack Bauer: I don't have time for this.


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## Taija

Oh god, I hate that.
It's so awkward when everyone finds a partner or a group immediately. I usually ask if I can do the work by myself but most of the time I can't and I'm paired up with someone who doesn't look too happy about it. Teachers should definitely think about the lonely and shy (or in our case, SAer) students more.


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## walken

I hate that so much. Usually the teachers pair us up with someone and I always feel extremely relieved when they do that. In a couple of weeks though we're having a group assignment and we're choosing the groups ourselves and I can't even bother thinking about it. I'm seriously considering changing school just to get away from it.. Well, for other reasons too, but partly for that. Hah.


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## ipepperoni

I hate it so much. I'm always the loner in the class so everyone would go into groups expect me and I would walk around asking people to be my partner and they always say no 

The popular peers giggles about me at me at the back and it always gave me the chills...

But I work better alone because of over 9 years of experience so yeah


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