# Does your family stress you out?



## Greenleaf62 (Aug 1, 2013)

My Thanksgiving break is coming up soon and I'm excited to go home for a break but I know that it won't take too long before I'm ready to go back to school. There's so much tension in my house because it's like everyone gets on each other's nerves. We're living in an apartment right now so lack of space and privacy is an issue, but even when we were in a house we still had the same problems. We've been dealing with some financial issues for a while so that's always a major stressor as well. At the moment I don't even have my own room so when I go home I spend pretty much all my time at the kitchen table on the laptop. Whenever there's an argument there isn't really anywhere for me to go. 

Does anyone else get stressed out by being around their family?


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## bibio32 (Jun 17, 2013)

I understand where you are coming from although I've never been in a position like yours. It sounds tough living close quarters like that, with all that tension (that only multiplies around holidays... :no ) Putting myself in your shoes, the first thing I thought about was to go outside (but I don't know what kind of neighborhood you're in and with it getting dark at like 4:30-5:00 it would most likely be somewhat dark if you went out in the afternoon then you wouldn't be able to enjoy the sun...(also headphones are your friend)

I'm sure I didn't help any since I'm not really in your situation but I did want to send my wishes towards you. I hope your Thanksgiving works out okay and that you can find some peace.
AH. maybe you'll like this song it may give you some.


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## lordseshomaru86 (Aug 13, 2013)

I know that feeling far too well. I used to get a sick knot in my stomach every time the holidays came around. Is there an option to apply to stay on campus during the break? That saved my sanity many a time in college.


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## NomadicWonder (Nov 15, 2013)

"Does your family stress you out?"


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## MrQuiet76 (Aug 26, 2011)

Oh yes, absolutely. My family drives me crazy. It's like you said, every day the tension in the house is so thick, you could cut it with a knife. Plus everybody gets on each other's nerves constantly. I feel bad for you not having a room to spend time in. That's the one escape I have at home when things get too stressful. I hope the break goes quickly for you and I hope you can still enjoy it!!


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## Ess (Sep 20, 2010)

I feel terrible because the problem lies with me. I don't know when I got so terribly intolerant when I have absolutely no right. I'm currently staying with someone who I owe a lot to. I will be forever indebted to her, but good lord we get on each others' nerves! I can't stand her tendency to constantly make noise in some way shape or form (eating, yawning, spelling out loud, sleeping). She can't stand my untidiness, forgetfulness (forgetting to unplug appliances after use) and my verbal sniping. I'm way past the rebellious teen stage and I'm conscious that I need to curb my behaviour, and my tongue, but it's so hard!


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## DarrellLicht (Mar 9, 2013)

Not if you're nowhere in close proximity :yes 

I plan to keep it this way this holiday season. Sounds sad, but such is life. I don't like being treated like the dead branch on the family tree. My nieces/nephews aren't old enough to have developed a 'conversation filter', and they say some interesting observational comments I can only guess they gathered from mom and dad..


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## krobar (Nov 23, 2013)

*Yes they DO.*

*I have a hard enough time getting along in life with out the problems my family brings to the table. I use to love them and care about them but they were all heavy drinkers and I only rarely drank. *It makes for a hard time on holidays.:mum


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## Beacon (Nov 24, 2013)

I really like feeling welcomed by my family, but sometimes I don't feel it. Everyone, and I mean everyone, in my close family (cousins, aunts, uncles, parent, blah blah) is extroverted, and basically all conversation is about social interactions and functions and even worse gossip and slander about people they simply don't understand. And they're all conservative and act like it's still 1952. But they're all into posting their every day routine on twiter and instagram, as if anyone cares. And since i don't do that stuff, they just sort of leave me out after they've made their dull greetings and convinced themselves I'm an eccentric weirdo. Needless to say, for me, this is really stressful because it's not my idea of a loving, communally nurturing, interesting family, and i really want one, but I have a tough time finding another one, or at least a close gorup of friends simulating family. 

Christmas time is usually pretty tough. Because my family (everyone is rich enough to take like 2 weeks off to visit) stays with us for like... 2 weeks. And I try my best to be social and lively around them, but after a while, I just have to retreat and have my personal time. But then my snobby aunt always makes snarky comments and I know she talks about me when I'm not with them. But I always take a night or two off just to dwell within myself and escape from their presence. And everytime, after a night to myself, my aunt says something like "well, look who came out of his hibernation cave" or "It's weird seeing the sunlight, isn't it" Just really mean spirited things, when I have no ill intentions. I've always had a desire to say something, just go off on her, but I don't like to argue and make someone upset, so that naturally stops myself.

In summary, family is stressful


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## hammerfast (Mar 8, 2012)

My family gross me out


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## MysteriousH (Apr 27, 2013)

Heckkkk yeah. But they can also do the opposite.


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## The Patriot (Nov 15, 2012)

Like many people my age (27) I still live with my Grandma who has been my guardian my whole life and my mom, the history behind this is complicated and could fill a book so we'll leave that out. Does my Family Stress me out, if you only knew, everyone here has had or has family that stresses them out, that one or two relationships that make you want to pull your hair out or cry and give up in frustration. 


Both of them can frustrate me to varies degrees, my mom for what ever psychological reasons that is best not to speculate on antagonizes me there's a part of me that realizes maybe she doesn't quite grasp what she's doing, my mom may be considered mentally challenged in some capacity, she can function (Cook, Clean, and she's crazy knowledgeable when it comes to Movies, TV etc 


How do I begin to explain my mom as a prime example. My mom talks to herself and she gets into the habit of talking on and on when no one is around but can hear her and in company she won't talk to anyone but she'll talk at someone or she'll be the odd one out and she'll talk over other people talking to each other she's bad at reading social cues more or less, this becomes very uncomfortable for me the same when I'm reading a book, she'll start talking over me and about the most random things. 

The problem begins when I in as Patient and kind a way as possible tell her how this makes me feel, when I point out my feelings to her or when I make it as clear and as straight as I can with her. 

Mom can if you have something you want to talk to me about, when you see me reading, just say Chad excuse me and talk to me not at me, I try to find ways of saying it without hurting my mom because she is overly sensitive and very emotional and the smallest things set her off. 

We'll talk for a while and everything will be okay she understands, we'll leave it, 5 minutes later She's going off on me, its impossible to go through all the ways. She'll scratch her face, she'll say I'm the Mother here I'm 60 odd years old I'm going to tell your grandmother you were eating those cookies what ever it might be, and I have no idea what I'm doing wrong. 

She'll talk out of turn, she's ramble on and on, or she'll do something that's inappropriate etc what ever and as soon as you try to give her some life advice or you try and share your knowledge she brings the age factor into it, alot of people don't grasp that age is not a factor in the knowledge someone has or the life experience they have, my mom has been sheltered from the world by my grandma all her life, she's had one friend in her whole life and that friend was killed. 

Maybe you'll say Maybe you won't that I'm not being fair to her that I'm the one with the problem, that I'm a jerk or I'm impatient and not sympathetic, a part of me thinks I am, maybe don't react to her, I am quick to react to her so to me the problem lies more in my reaction to her than what she's doing, its me who's letting her get under my skin, its really difficult to explain exactly what goes on here, and even harder because you aren't in my shoes as I am not in yours. 

Putting aside my issues with my grandma which are long standing, if I could swear I would really let out how I feel but YES YES YES My Family stresses me out and I go to group and I come to places like this or talk to my girlfriend to blow off steam. 

What stresses me out is also the fighting, Grandma and I are having a conversation, my mom is in her room and she'll come out and hear us and she'll go off on my grandma and I'll tell my mom Its very rude to chime in while we are having a private conversation, Please don't do that and my mom will say oh Shut up or something. 

Learning to Breathe but even breathing doesn't help me, the only thing that would ever change this is a change of environment, nothing is going to change unless I move forward, I can't control my mom's actions or reactions or my grandma's. 

Its stressful dealing with them and feeling so helpless, I'm the one that pays the rent, provides money for their food, grocery shops because my grandma and mom don't drive, I'm the one who cleans or does maintenance on the more heavy duty stuff, I am the one who has to be here to make sure that everything is okay but me being here has only caused more stress for my family than its worth. I don't mean me being here Physically, I mean me being in this house. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I need a stress Ball so I can squeeze it. I'm not alone and I sympathize and take the time to say you are also dealing with so much and it helps for us to be here to talk it out. This is far far from the overall picture of what really goes on. But letting this out has really been a weight off my shoulders.


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## housebunny (Oct 22, 2010)

God, yes. And I am starting to stress out about the upcoming holiday really badly.


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## aGenericUsername (Apr 7, 2013)

Yep. My mom treats me like I'm 4 years old, which is probably why I'm such a loser in life...


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## wewontbesilenced (Dec 1, 2013)

God, yes. My dad continuously stresses me out hence why I try to avoid association with my father.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

My mom does. Sometimes my dad when he lecturers why i should go to church.


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## Ironyinivory (Nov 23, 2013)

yes...  make plans with friends or pretend you have plans. go out or get out of the house a lot. It gives you time to collect yourself, and also some time away from them.


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## Brisby (Nov 17, 2013)

Yes because my mother has an extremely short fuse about everything and will freak out constantly at my father. He's gotten so use to it over the years he meekly accepts any verbal abuse from her. I, however, am not afraid of her nor do I stand for her little out bursts so we have quite the strained relationship.


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## Scruffy The Janitor (Oct 21, 2013)

Sometimes


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## mdiada (Jun 18, 2012)

Every day of my life. If it isnt one thing, its the next. Sometimes its hard to deal with because right now im in a helpless position. The people needing help the most in my fam refuse it altogether, which stresses me out with worry.


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## Jayne311 (Aug 20, 2009)

My dad is stressing me out right now. He just came back from exercising and he stinks but he won't clean up. So the whole downstairs stinks now and I can't say anything because it's his house. I'm going to love having my own place to live someday.


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## Pierre1 (Apr 25, 2013)

My Mum is stressing me out alot. She's made my life harder the last couple of years (in response I'd lash out and stuff) and she made me feel almost suicidal at times especially this year yet she keeps on self pitying herself over ''what I've done to her'' which in comparison is nothing. 

I told her what she done to me yesterday but guess what? you rang the police because she felt threatened...the real reason is that she doesn't like to take blame over stuff she as caused/contributed to my periodic depression and social anxiety.

The only family member I can rely on is one of my cousins.


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## tooafraid (Nov 22, 2013)

Yes they do. I'm almost 25 and still being treated like a goddamn baby. There are teenagers who've had more freedom than me. I rarely ever go out and if by some chance I do, they'll keep calling me and saying come back, its getting late. f*&k!


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

Other than the typical average parent "nagging" bull crap and the older siblings complex and domineering crap, they're all fine. Nothing I can't stand. 

However, my mother (thanks goodness I no longer live with her) :no on the other hand... emotionally tormenting and soul tearing. Except for my father, all of my siblings, grandparents, my fiance, my siblings' spouses, all are afraid of her. 

But that's a post for another day, someday soon I imagine.


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## weiwuwei (Sep 7, 2011)

Yes. My father and my brother hate me. I avoid them as much as possible.


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## NYCKid (Dec 8, 2013)

Yes I hate them. They're so annoying. Ever since my father died my mother has been addicted to pills and all she does is complain and pop pills. My sister is a cokehead who can't take care of her kid and they're just so disgusting.


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