# Fat and Lame



## VelvetElvis (Apr 29, 2006)

The subject says it all, really-I realize that a person's personality may indeed be more important than his or her appearance, but what type of personality is attractive in terms of hobbies and interests? I mean, I have a bunch of cr*p hobbies like playing RPGs, drawing comics, and watching kung fu movies (but I'm not a nerd-according to Milhouse Van Houten, "nerds are smart"). That's stereotypically unattractive behavior. Should I stop doing the stuff I like to do and do whatever it is attractive guys do, like...wrestling and getting sweaty with a bunch of other men (which is apparently the most heterosexual thing a guy can do. I don't really get it either)?

I'm obviously not going to get anywhere on my looks, so should I change my personality and activities as well? The only problem is, I sort of _like_ a lot of the stuff I do...it's hard to break those habits.


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## Bon (Dec 24, 2005)

No, no, no, what you do, what you like is part of who you are, if you change something that you like , for something you don't, the type of women you attraced probably won't be your type, vice versa. You have to be true to yourself. 

Generally speaking most of us have types, I've typically liked tall dark hair men with facial hair, that's just my type, if there were two men, equally attractive, one enjoyed reading, walking, watching movies, to wrestling, drinking, partying, I would go with door number one, more my type.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

No one would say it's good advice to do something you hate and avoid doing what you like just to get a date.


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## VelvetElvis (Apr 29, 2006)

Drella's_Rock_Follies said:


> No one would say it's good advice to do something you hate and avoid doing what you like just to get a date.


Yeah...I know...it's just that I know of very few young ladies I have anything remotely in common with. This would be less of an issue if I were better looking, but there's nothing I can do about that, so I try not to bother myself about it.


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## VelvetElvis (Apr 29, 2006)

Christian Slater is considerably more attractive than I am. Not that I make a big deal about being unattractive, but it does factor into things. I'm just sayin'...movies are movies.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

reaver221 said:


> Christian Slater's character had the same hobbies as you (minus the RPGs) in True Romance, and look what happened to him! Don't give up hope.


 Street Fighter!


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## RX2000 (Jan 25, 2004)

Obviously there are women out there who like overweight guys who play computer games. I managed to get a girlfriend. :lol

Although I have stopped playing computer games.  (It wasnt because of my girlfriend though.)


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

Please, tell me you people aren't talking a movie here...


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

I'm the same. I have no looks and my personality is basically a dud. The few interests I do have are weird.


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## AstroFan (May 8, 2005)

reaver221 said:


> Christian Slater's character had the same hobbies as you (minus the RPGs) in True Romance, and look what happened to him! Don't give up hope.


He also shot a guy in the balls though.


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## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

> Christian Slater's character had the same hobbies as you (minus the RPGs) in True Romance, and look what happened to him! Don't give up hope.


Unless it was a documentary, I don't put much stock in what movies have to tell us about reality.

I have this problem too. All of my interests are so esoteric and uninteresting to others. Not many girls are interested in programming, quantum computing, math, etc, etc. When I rarely do talk to a girl online, I never have anything to talk about, because I don't have any common interests!


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## mismac (Oct 27, 2005)

Rather than stopping what your doing and changing your interests, perhaps you can branch out and try new things while keep on doing what you like to do.


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

Yup, I'm a nerdy bird-watching, stamp-collecting, art-appreciating, Shakespeare-reading, library-visiting, Simpsons-quoting, science-loving, classical music-listening freak.

My nerdy personality manifested itself at a young age. I used to watch Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street, and Bert was my favorite character. I dreamed of having a bottle cap collection just like his.

Don't give up your beloved hobbies. Try to find others with the same interests. Maybe go to a comic book expo. The Simpsons have their annual "Bi Mon Sci Fi Con". I know there's things like that in real life and they are jammed with people. That's the beauty of the Internet, it can help you find gatherings in your area.


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## zelig (Apr 15, 2005)

You should do the stuff you WANT to do.


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## Veggie1 (Jan 12, 2006)

I agree that you shouldn't stop your hobbies, as long as you like them.

Ever see footage of a Trekkie convention? People of all ages and sizes go to them. Many appear to be couples, all decked out in their finest Trekkie gear. They're true to themselves and found someone with the same interests. I think of them every once in a while when I think no one can relate to my hobbies. Meaning, someone else probably likes them, too. Same for you. Remember the Trekkies!


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## nunziosoprano (Jan 28, 2006)

I like dungeons and dragons which many women have told me is a major turn off for them.


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## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

Unfortunately, my anxiety keeps me from doing any hobby or interest which involves any interaction with anyone, so I'm kinda stuck with my nerdy hobbies.


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## VelvetElvis (Apr 29, 2006)

Ah yeaahhh...you're probably all right...but the girls who tend to be all gung-ho about geek stuff (both of them) are way more into it then I am. I mean, I'm basically still stuck in early-90's fandom-I don't program or whatever, and I've never even played the MMORPGs like _World of Warcraft, Everquest_ etc. Acronyms bug me.

I guess I want to know what _are_ attractive hobbies? My only guess is that it's being a doctor _and_ an NFL quarterback simultaneously. All most guys do at my college is drink beer, so that doesn't help any.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

You all say you should keep your hobbies. But my hobbies don't really connect with women. You have to have activities you can do together. My issue is more the opposite my activities are more than likely too active too masculine to expect a girl to want to take part in and some of them I wouldn't want her to because of the danger factor (she tries it and ends up with broken bones). 

From this I gather the answer is you can keep existing hobbies but try to find other interests that tend to be A-sexual and that girls won't mind doing. For those that have activities they feel aren't masculine enough, perhaps take up some masculine activities that way you have a balance.


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## VelvetElvis (Apr 29, 2006)

scairy said:


> From this I gather the answer is you can keep existing hobbies but try to find other interests that tend to be A-sexual and that girls won't mind doing.


Such as? Really, I have no idea what these would be.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

VelvetElvis said:


> scairy said:
> 
> 
> > From this I gather the answer is you can keep existing hobbies but try to find other interests that tend to be A-sexual and that girls won't mind doing.
> ...


Well bowling would be one. Drinking would be another (just kidding). Pool. Golf but the trick is getting them to try it.


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## SupportiveGF (Apr 25, 2006)

nunziosoprano said:


> I like dungeons and dragons which many women have told me is a major turn off for them.


Awww I love D&D. But then I'm a major game geek. Right now i'm on the World of Warcrack, and I'd totally play D&D everynight of the week if I had a crew up here. The world need more gamer girls like me, imho


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

whiteclouds said:


> Yup, I'm a nerdy bird-watching, stamp-collecting, art-appreciating, Shakespeare-reading, library-visiting, Simpsons-quoting, science-loving, classical music-listening freak.


Hi


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## VelvetElvis (Apr 29, 2006)

Maybe I just don't know what sorts of things to talk about-I consider myself fairly gifted at conversation (I'm probably wrong, but at least I like something about myself), but not with really conventional topics. Just odd stuff-offbeat/weird movies, factoids, things like that. Things most of the girls whom I don't really know (I only actually talk to 2 or 3-I have no idea what the rest are like) don't seem interested in. I hate making these sweeping generalizations, but it seems like girls are conditioned from a young age to just be...different. I dunno-I can talk to pretty much any other guy, but most girls are completely alien to me. 

Just to be clear, I don't really look like a stereotypical nerd-I wear a stocking cap and an Army jacket everywhere (I look more like a stereotypical stoner or an especially clean homeless guy) and I used to smoke (but have more or less stopped). Also, I don't study or finish homework well. So, really, I have nothing to offer the brainy types either. I'd have to peg myself down as a slacker-seeing as how I actually like Spaghetti-O's, Top Ramen, and things like that.

Seriously, are there any girls who would be thrilled to hang out at my dorm room and watch Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster? I kinda doubt it. I try not to be negative, but some people just don't have that certain appeal about them, and I'm evidently one.


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## jane (Jan 30, 2006)

VelvetElvis said:


> Maybe I just don't know what sorts of things to talk about-I consider myself fairly gifted at conversation (I'm probably wrong, but at least I like something about myself), but not with really conventional topics. Just odd stuff-movies, factoids, things like that. Things most of the girls whom I don't really know (I only actually talk to 2 or 3-I have no idea what the rest are like) don't seem interested in.


Guys who talk about conventional stuff like school and the latest homework assignment are Boring (note capital B). It's better to say something original, obscure, or controversial. 
As for attractive hobbies, I know a singing medical student who writes poetry and does karate. Unfortunately, the poetry is crap, his songs are lame, and he owns an 'i heart peptides' shirt. Being nice and having a similar sense of humour count much more towards boyfriend material.


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## Mr_Twig (Apr 10, 2006)

VelvetElvis said:


> I try not to be negative, but some people just don't have that certain appeal about them, and I'm evidently one.


I don't know what to say other than that I know what you're going through, bud. Good job not smoking though. Unfortunately, I _still_ smoke, but it doesn't seem to make a huge difference anyway.


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## VelvetElvis (Apr 29, 2006)

I don't like to be "hopeless"-there's so much in life I enjoy I can't get bogged down in self-pity-but I do feel like I'm heading toward a point of no return when it comes to dating-I can't imagine hitting on someone now, or whatever it is that starts the relationship. 

Now, I know a lot of guys (and gals) are the same way on here-but I guess I want to hear something hopeful. I'm not sure what, though. Just thinking about this subject makes my stomach knot up. It's no longer pleasant for me, and even though I try not to think about it, and to not notice (or make eye contact) with girls I think are cute, I'd still like to be with somebody special, like it seems most others are capable of. 

P.S. I keep wondering whether or not to post pictures in the pictures thread-I don't want to end up as an Internet novelty for my unattractiveness :hide .


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## Madmonkeypoo (May 3, 2004)

Well to prove you wrong, when I was a kid I prefered my Godzilla toy over my Barbies. I'd rather watch a Ren & Stimpy cartoon than an action movie. Top Ramen is always in stock at my house. I enjoy spending all day kicking *** on an online multiplayer. Into sci-fi, fantasy, large anime collection, writer, reader, website owner, gardening, cooking, gaming, alt. rock, etc. Can only hold "nerdy" conversations with other "nerds" otherwise I'm quiet, has good grades, conservative dresser, but has been described more than once as having a "rocker chic" appearance??? (must be the rhinestone belt).

Anyway, my point being, there are odd-ball girls out there too. I just think we're all in hiding, so you shouldn't give up.


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## meli (Jan 26, 2006)

I like RPGamers!!, also like to play video games myself but i'm usually too scared to play (don't ask why)


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## VelvetElvis (Apr 29, 2006)

I don't even know how much of it is my interests anymore. It probably has a lot to do with being (sort of) a fatty, which is never a good place to be in. I've been exercising more recently, so I can probably move up to the lower end of "average" looking if I keep at it. 

Then again, I have found that there are very few girls I have anything in common with (as mentioned). What is that all about? Are they all shy, or what?


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## Javert (Apr 30, 2006)

reaver221 said:


> Christian Slater's character had the same hobbies as you (minus the RPGs) in True Romance, and look what happened to him! Don't give up hope.


Yeah... his friend hired a prostitute for him...

Reading books, writing, and drawing are my only hobbies. I don't think girls find that very attractive. However, I certainly will not change my habits to attain acceptance.


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## VelvetElvis (Apr 29, 2006)

Javert said:


> reaver221 said:
> 
> 
> > Christian Slater's character had the same hobbies as you (minus the RPGs) in True Romance, and look what happened to him! Don't give up hope.
> ...


My point exactly-his boss thought he needed it. They just happened to fall for each other. Be nice though-she was a call girl, not a prostitute, and she was inexperienced at it.


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## VelvetElvis (Apr 29, 2006)

ianthe said:


> Javert said:
> 
> 
> > Reading books, writing, and drawing are my only hobbies. I don't think girls find that very attractive. However, I certainly will not change my habits to attain acceptance.
> ...


I haven't met any that do, unless the guy's hot. I mainly don't understand why I get along (friends-like) with women much older than me, but have nothing in common whatsoever girls my age. I get a feeling I'm in the wrong state or something.


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## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

ianthe said:


> Javert said:
> 
> 
> > Reading books, writing, and drawing are my only hobbies. I don't think girls find that very attractive. However, I certainly will not change my habits to attain acceptance.
> ...


Unfortunately most of them don't love programming, math, or physics.


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## alex989 (Nov 20, 2005)

I'm kind of in the same boat. Some of my hobbies girls would consider unattractive, such as playing computer games. As much as I tell myself to quit playing computer games so much, because I believe it is contribuiting to my social isolation and awkwardness, I can't stop playing them. It's like a drug. I'd feel alot better if I could just quit but I guess its just one of my hobbies and I shouldn't have to give it up to gain acceptance, i should just accept who I am.


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## mismac (Oct 27, 2005)

ColdFury said:


> Unfortunately most of them don't love programming, math, or physics.


And the ones who do aren't physically attractive enough for you guys :troll


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## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

ianthe said:


> ColdFury said:
> 
> 
> > Unfortunately most of them don't love programming, math, or physics.
> ...


Its a problem when I don't have absolutely anything else to talk about. They become very bored very quickly when thats all I talk about. Believe me, I've experienced it many times.

When trying to meet people online, its very important to appear interesting right out of the gate, or else they'll lose interest. Its very difficult if convo isn't your strong point.

Not that I'm blaming anyone. If I didn't have my anxiety I'm sure I would have more things to talk about, but unfortunately I don't.


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## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

stellar said:


> ColdFury said:
> 
> 
> > Unfortunately most of them don't love programming, math, or physics.
> ...


Not necessarily true...


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## ShesKrayZ (May 9, 2006)

Hey, if you talked to me about programming and physics, I'd probably only half way know what you were talking about but I'd be impressed, ESPECIALLY if I only halfway knew what you were talking about. Brainiacs are sexy and can get away with being odd because they are supposed to be. 

Hate D&D. I was invited to play it once and for the first couple of hours it seemed pretty cool and then into the ninth hour I couldn't take it anymore...

I guess it's not pc to say an NFL quarterback who was a doctor would be sexy but brains and fame and money...WHOO BABY YEAH!!

I don't get the part about men sweating together being sexy. Ew!


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## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

> Hey, if you talked to me about programming and physics, I'd probably only half way know what you were talking about but I'd be impressed, ESPECIALLY if I only halfway knew what you were talking about.


I wish there were more people on dating sites like that, because they all become very bored very quickly.


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## Paaroska (Mar 16, 2006)

I have a degree in Computer Science and it was always distressing to me that in the upper level classes I was always the only female, I hated when we had to pick lab partners, I felt like everyone was waiting to see who I was going to pick, of course I always picked the nerd or the old guy...


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