# My co-workers are mean!



## cjstone (Jul 23, 2014)

I've always been someone people easily mess with. Its like I was born with a "Kick Me" sign. If people say they aren't going to screw me over, they do.

My co-workers, who are all women, are so catty! I am working at a camp this summer to earn money. They all talk about each other behind their backs. They always hang out with each other too and they have never extended any invites my way. I do all the work, clean, set-up, organize things. They say thank you and probably laugh about that behind my back. I just do my work and keep my head down.

There is a job there available that I applied for because it is full-time, and mine is only for the summer. Some of them did too. So of course, this is a problem. They bad mouth me to the bosses all the time to try and ruin my chances. This kills me! I would love to be a fly on the wall and hear all of the things they say about me behind my back.

I am trying to get this job but I have a feeling that even though I am probably more qualified, they will make it impossible for me and make me miserable so I would quit.

Why does everyone do this to me? I can't go anywhere or do anything without people laughing at me or not taking me seriously. I am never happy anymore, I don't even know what that is.

I like doing escapist things like reading and watching tv.


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## greengirl (Apr 7, 2014)

First things first, ignore those ****ers. Tune out their stupid conversations. Do your job great and be confident about it. Your boss will notice that you stand out from the rest of the pack (in a good way) and you might get the job.


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## AndreaXo (Mar 22, 2014)

Hang in there. If you don't get the job, at least you won't have to work with those people anymore. I have been suspecting lately that my co workers are bad mouthing me as well. They keep cutting my hours down to the point where im only working a few hours per week.
*sigh*


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## thediamondsea (Feb 10, 2014)

I work with a gaggle of similar coworkers -- they're about 25 feet from my desk. Either they don't know that I can hear almost everything they're saying or they don't care. They say awful stuff about me sometimes, which used to irritate and upset me. Now it's become a sort of joke with my significant other and me. He'll ask me what they have said lately and then we laugh about it. The meaner it is, the harder we laugh.

One thing you'll have to remember is that they simply find you interesting enough to talk about. If they're trashing you behind your back, it's more of an indication that they're intimidated by you, jealous of you, secretly like you and/or secretly find you fascinating.

Of course, I don't mean to belittle your situation and understand your frustration. Do you think the bosses would take their complaints seriously?


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## thinkstoomuch101 (Jun 7, 2012)

well, your co workers are just typical. They do what they do best.

If you they talk about each other - then yes, they will talk about you. It's what they do.

If there was a roach crossing the floor while they were yucking it up? Guess what they'll talk about next? the roach..

I read an old saying about folks:

People criticize and talk about the weather all day long - but doesn't *change* the weather not one bit.

If it's meant for you to have the position you applied for, then it will happen. But if you have to sink as low as those losers to acquire the job - then it is so not worth it.

it's not the ONLY job in the world, OP..


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## cjstone (Jul 23, 2014)

*Thanks*

Wow Thinkstoomuch- that was actually great advice and very logical. Unfortunately I did not see it like that before. But you are right. It's just that I am feeling quite vulnerable lately because I truly feel like everyone is taking advantage of me. I got ripped off by several people at the same time and things just built up and built up.

It's still easier said than done though. I don't like being laughed at when I am working my butt off. Tomorrow the head person is out and instead of asking me to cover, another girl was asked- even though my credentials are better and I have more experience. I also don't like them bad-mouthing me to the bosses. I feel this ruins my chances to get the job when they sink that low.

I miss being successful- or at least having some semblance of it. I feel like a total loser because I have consistently failed at everything the last several years.


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## FelineFatale (Nov 30, 2013)

Just go in and do your job. You're there for your own benefit, not theirs.


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## sociallyinept1 (Jul 29, 2014)

I know exactly how you feel. I also work with a bunch of catty, two-faced and immature females. They seem to make it a priority to make fun and laugh about anyone that is different from them. I dont even have female friends anymore because of this.


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## thediamondsea (Feb 10, 2014)

sociallyinept1 said:


> I know exactly how you feel. I also work with a bunch of catty, two-faced and immature females. They seem to make it a priority to make fun and laugh about anyone that is different from them. I dont even have female friends anymore because of this.


I think we work at the same place.


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## pork (Sep 4, 2011)

My first adult job had me dealing with catty co-workers that would consistently make derogatory comments about me and others that didn't fit into their circle. The job was performance based so I'd be rewarded for working harder than my peers. I ignored them repeatedly and instead focused on my job. As a newbie, I made five times their sales and consistently was #1 out of every one I worked with. This made them hate me even more but I was making 10x what they were making so I didn't really care.

It also taught me how to toughen up and not deal with that bull****. Eventually I gained to confidence to confront them. Now I have no problem confronting someone who talks badly about me and because of that, everyone leaves me alone : )


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## Sunhawk (Oct 3, 2013)

These kind of people are just ridiculous.


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## LetItBurn33 (May 24, 2014)

Just lie to them... but dont let them know youre doing on purpose, also want nothing to do with them and never show hostility.. It will get under their skin but there isnt much they can do about it and they deserve it.. always remain calm.. they want you swinging aroung, dont do that.. At the first sign of trouble, ie non-general harrassment tell managment you want it to stop (this has legal implications).. if they continue hire a lawyer because you have a case (unless its walmart, you have no rights with walmart whatsoever).. they are breaking the law by creating a hostile workplace.. you have to understand the different kinds of harrassment, some are legal (FOR SOME F**ED UP FASCIST REASON).

It happened to me alot too... And when i started learning about the law involved, i felt alot more power. It is so important to learn your rights, you have none at walmart, they are infamous for this. If they are harrassing you in a certain way, and you ask it to stop and it continues now you have a case. Although general harrassment is legal (just ignore it and hate their guts, you can do the same if you are brave enough).. It is one of the most important things for someone with SA to learn the types of harrassment which are not legal and all of the legal actions to take... these peices of crap deserve it. Watch them like a hawk when you have this knowledge and be anal about it, you will never be on peaceful grounds with workplace scum.

You will also have to aggressively pursue it if you go that route, you are going to meet people that lie to you because they want to discourage you, go through it, they will falter inevitably. Even your lawyer may be an ***. No one is on our side.


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## OhioState1 (Apr 2, 2014)

cjstone said:


> I've always been someone people easily mess with. Its like I was born with a "Kick Me" sign. If people say they aren't going to screw me over, they do.
> 
> My co-workers, who are all women, are so catty! I am working at a camp this summer to earn money. They all talk about each other behind their backs. They always hang out with each other too and they have never extended any invites my way. I do all the work, clean, set-up, organize things. They say thank you and probably laugh about that behind my back. I just do my work and keep my head down.
> 
> ...


Oooo they're mean? How fun! Time for you to practice on how to be
like them, give them a dose of their own medicine, because they are
most likely craving what they give you back. They are bored, is what
it sounds like to me. So be mean, have some fun with it. That's all.
Google it, make a list, and apply it. They want to see you come out of
whatever shell you put yourself in, or whatever shell they think you're in.
In reality, they want to see you do better, but they won't say that, so do it!


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## thediamondsea (Feb 10, 2014)

OhioState1 said:


> Oooo they're mean? How fun! Time for you to practice on how to be
> like them, give them a dose of their own medicine, because they are
> most likely craving what they give you back. They are bored, is what
> it sounds like to me. So be mean, have some fun with it. That's all.
> ...


I have to agree with this. Then come back and tell us how everything went, and we can all laugh.


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## da1 (Aug 6, 2014)

Today was the 4th day at my new job and I'm already feeling like one of my worst fears has come true. I was so fearful of starting a new job. The thought of being bullied are eating me inside out and it kinda came true today? I won't go into details but I sure know how *****y some female coworkers can be. I hate working in an office environment. It brings out the worst in me. I do feel it's better to be dead than going back there tomorrow morning and suffer the same ordeal all over again. And again. And again.


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## OhioState1 (Apr 2, 2014)

da1 said:


> Today was the 4th day at my new job and I'm already feeling like one of my worst fears has come true. I was so fearful of starting a new job. The thought of being bullied are eating me inside out and it kinda came true today? I won't go into details but I sure know how *****y some female coworkers can be. I hate working in an office environment. It brings out the worst in me. I do feel it's better to be dead than going back there tomorrow morning and suffer the same ordeal all over again. And again. And again.


At least you have a promised job for now, and are around people. 
Have you ever lived in isolation before? It's ...terrible.


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## da1 (Aug 6, 2014)

OhioState1 said:


> At least you have a promised job for now, and are around people.
> Have you ever lived in isolation before? It's ...terrible.


Yes I've lived in isolation before. For an extended period of time I was absolutely alone, no job and no one to hang out with. The only people I was speaking to on those days were people I was ordering food from. Isolation wasn't _that_ painful to me. Sad, yes, terrible, maybe sporadically but not so much. At that point in time, my 15 year old relationship had just ended and that was the most painful time of my life. Isolation, loneliness and heartbreak almost killed me. The doses were lethal when these 3 elements were combined. If it was just isolation I would gladly embraced it.


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## applefan68001 (Jul 16, 2014)

thediamondsea said:


> I work with a gaggle of similar coworkers -- they're about 25 feet from my desk. Either they don't know that I can hear almost everything they're saying or they don't care. They say awful stuff about me sometimes, which used to irritate and upset me. Now it's become a sort of joke with my significant other and me. He'll ask me what they have said lately and then we laugh about it. The meaner it is, the harder we laugh.
> 
> One thing you'll have to remember is that they simply find you interesting enough to talk about. If they're trashing you behind your back, it's more of an indication that they're intimidated by you, jealous of you, secretly like you and/or secretly find you fascinating.
> 
> Of course, I don't mean to belittle your situation and understand your frustration. Do you think the bosses would take their complaints seriously?


So true and well put


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## cjstone (Jul 23, 2014)

*Follow-up*

So, I have had more time to work with these people and it gets weirder and weirder every day. The bosses interviewed different people for the jobs. I had my chance- and I bombed the interview. I get nervous. I used to do so well- I used to be able to clearly answer questions. Now I can't.

I don't think the boss hired anyone from there for the job. I think no one impressed her and she is hiring new people. She wants a "fresh" feeling. That sucks because I am new. Talk about irony- I wasn't going to get the job before because they were all complaining about me (jealous) and now I am not getting the job because I actually work there and already put up with these people!

I really think I am not the problem sometimes- that it is other people. I get into trouble often because I think things through and I am logical. I translate things literally. The world is not like this, so other people don't understand me. Someone once bought me a t-shirt "I'll try being nicer when you try being smarter." Best present ever! But these ladies I work with, the littlest thing upsets them. I think they should be on here (maybe they are) and they are the ones with the problems! Because I don't spend my time complaining with them all day long, they don't ask me to hang out...and guess what?! I stopped caring. Because when hanging out, they will complain the whole time about work.

Today, things were crazy at work because so many people took time off for summer. Well, with fewer people, we had to cover and do other peoples work. Fine for me. I go with the flow. But OMG, this was such a big to do for everybody else, they all complained and complained to the bosses.

My other problem is that I can't relate to people- if I don't spend time with them complaining about something, then they talk about boyfriends or kids- neither of which I have. Can't relate! Nothing to talk about = no invites. I get tired of faking it.

BTW, to the person who told me to mess with them right back- I did! I told them I saw the bosses talking to others about the jobs and think they may have gotten hired, and then they get so upset and sulk all day. YEAH!!!


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