# Maladaptive Daydreaming



## kismetie (May 20, 2012)

Ever heard of it?

http://classof1.com/homework_answers/psychology/maladaptive_daydreaming/

I also have maladaptive daydreaming besides social anxiety. And I think MD makes it even harder for me to interact with other people in social situations. At times I can be_ so content_ with just being alone with myself inside of my thoughts, but at the end of the day I'm still alone and I have social anxiety that isn't getting any better.


----------



## Ninch (May 20, 2012)

Thank you so much for posting this because I have been trying to explain this to people for years. I didn't know that it had a name but I've been doing it since I was a small child and got into so much trouble at school because I would switch off and hear nothing of what the teacher was saying.
It is a great comfort to me and I do not want it to be repressed by medication so I've learned to control it. It's taken a long time to do so but it can be done. :yes


----------



## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

Yep I have it, its part of my avoidant personality disorder. There is some stuff about it on the web , but not much compared with say SA. There usually a reason why you do it. Its self defense mechanism that becomes a habit.


----------



## swiv2D (Oct 20, 2005)

Me to. It feels too familiar with everything I do. Reality is so boring but I know it's whats real and the truth.


----------



## kismetie (May 20, 2012)

Yeah I've always been a daydreamer but I don't think it became excessive until around the time I was in middle school around the 7th grade. My social anxiety seems to have started surface around this time too.


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

You know, I saw this post earlier but saw only the first, question part, not the link or second paragraph! :blush

I was going to say, haven't heard of it but can guess from the name what it means. (Haven't checked the link, dodgy Internet connection.) I'm constantly daydreaming, "roleplaying" my characters in my head (I write), pondering what they do and think. It's not that maladaptive for me, as I haven't a social life or job for it to interfere with. But I can understand how it could get that way. I feel I wouldn't be so lost in my own head if I had a social life, anyway.

It actually served a purpose when I was younger. If this could count, at least. Whenever I was in difficult situations, I'd place myself in the mind of one of my characters and react emotionally as if I were them. For example, when I had to go wait in the cold for a long time for the bus, I'd put myself in the mind of a soldier character, and it would make the waiting easier. When I was upset and crying, I'd "become" a character of mine, and get over it faster.

Eventually I told myself this was an unhealthy form of escapism, and to stop doing it and live in my own head. So I unlearned how to do it.

Biggest mistake of my life.  I have no other adaptive strategies to fall back on. So while this might not have been the BEST way to go, at least it was coping, and now I don't know how to do it anymore when I could use it most.


----------



## Bunyip (Feb 6, 2012)

Wow. I think I have this. I figured it was just my way of adapting to being lonely for so long, and this last year I've really been regretting choosing sitting around fantasizing instead of meeting people. When I've been socializing a lot, or even very actively talking to someone on the internet, it will become particularly bad to the extent that it keeps me from being able to concentrate on responding to them. I find myself doing it even while I'm around people or in public. A lot of the time I'll start pacing back and forth because of it-- I've done this since I was very young, and it's always been very annoying to my mother. Even when I'm at home, while I'm doing this I often find myself randomly getting up and walking in and out of my room for no real reason. I'd never heard of it before. ...Definitely going to look into it.

"This extreme daydreaming often begins in childhood. Books, movies, music, video games, and other media may be daydreaming initiators. Insistent movements while daydreaming like pacing, rocking, spinning, shaking something in their hand, etc are common. Our minds may stroll during uninteresting tasks because daydreaming is essentially the brain's normal state, rather than a pointless distraction.

Some people will lie in bed for hour’s maladaptive daydreaming, and may also have complicatedness in going to sleep because of this, or have complexity getting out of bed once awake. They may occasionally talk, laugh, cry, gesture, or make facial expressions as they daydream. People suffering from this identify the difference between daydreaming and reality, and do not mystify the two; this makes them definitely diverse from psychotics or schizophrenics. Maladaptive Daydreaming causes trouble in their lives, or stops them from fully carrying out in their day-to-day life. "

This whole part was just like.... wow.


----------



## ejmafive (May 16, 2012)

i have been through this and still dealing with it. honestly, i just can't avoid doing it. i feel relieved with all my anxieties when daydreaming for at least once a day...

the content of my daydreams are all about the game Grand Theft Auto. i think of myslef as the reporter of a newscast let's say in Vice City or Liberty City (two fictional places which served as the setting for the game series). i give life to the characters in the game and report them as if they we're personalities in real life. beyond that, i make some sort of issues which are not included in the original plot of the game. for example, i picture that barack obama just had a state visit in liberty city and the people there made protests. sounds weird but i think it is kind of creative.

the weird thing when i daydream is that i need something to hold and play with while making the stories in my mind., let's say a stress ball. i throw it in the air and catch it back and throw it again until the stories in my mind become more intense. most of the time, i even caught myself speaking as a part of my story. that's just so ****ing stupid!

i feel so worried about it though i am still in control of myself...


----------



## nonesovile (Dec 4, 2011)

I've daydreamed since as far back as I can remember. It used to affect my performance in school and socially, instead of being out with the rest of the kids playing football or whatever, I would've preferred to sit in and read, play videogames etc.. becasue it made me imagine things. I would also pace up and down in public, while out shopping with my parents, and I still do it even today. I also have a thing where I swing thigs in my hands. I used to do it playing videogames and reading, but now I just do it while listening to music. I also find myself pacing up and down in my room whenever listening to music. I think it's also a way of coping with loneliness, as I used to fantasize for hours on end about things while I was alone. And I still do it actually. I talk to myself a lot too without even realizing it, I even do it in public which is embarrassing


----------



## AHolivier (Aug 6, 2009)

I actually have never heard of maladaptive daydreaming, but it seems pretty close to what I experience. I'm a hardcore daydreamer and have been since I was young. Before I go to bed and when I wake up in the morning used to be when I would daydream the most. I also did it in school as I was an aspiring novelist and would imagine the characters I was creating at the time rather than try to establish connections with my peers.

The embarrassing part of all this is I don't really make any movements, but I stare off into space like a weirdo along with exhibiting awkward facial expressions. I tend to get obsessed with movies and music, so that's the trigger for these compulsive dreams/fantasies.


----------



## OrbitalResonance (Sep 21, 2010)

i incorporate reality into my daydreaming. i try to not export daydreaming to reality though, that can not work out well >.>


----------



## kismetie (May 20, 2012)

wisteria said:


> The embarrassing part of all this is I don't really make any movements, but I stare off into space like a weirdo along with exhibiting awkward facial expressions. I tend to get obsessed with movies and music, so that's the trigger for these compulsive dreams/fantasies.


Me in a nutshell. I don't move but I do stare off into space and when I come back to reality I often realize I was staring at someone (opps...).
_
"They may occasionally talk, laugh, cry, gesture, or make facial expressions as they daydream."_ That's me right there too. Especially at home when I'm in my room alone. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if my mom just listened outside my door long enough.

I am forever getting sucked into a book or movie and I know they are my main triggers but I still do it.


----------



## The Sleeping Dragon (Sep 29, 2011)

I'm wondering if I got it. Often when I watch series - I just zone out and think of something - than I get back and I'm like: "What the hell just happened in the series? I missed the dialogue." But because I watch stuff with a friends sometimes I just won't say anything because I can't rewind (funny how I still use that word ) all the freakin' time.

When I'm on public transportation it's the same thing. I just stare out the window and I'm gone. Or when I'm walking on the street I never notice anybody I know and it looks like I'm ignoring them. I've explained this to people because otherwise they think I'm ignoring them. So I just tell them I'm often just in deep thought. But I'm not really. Or at least I can't remember what I was thinking. I don't know if I'm moving repetitively while doing it. If I had to guess I think not. But how can I be sure.

I hope I don't sound like a hypochondriac but I know something is not normal here. Right or wrong? I always thought it was just a personality traits or something. But now I'm not so certain.


----------



## sansd (Mar 22, 2006)

From the wikipedia article:


> A study of 90 individuals who self-identified as having excessive daydreams found that 79% had a kinesthetic repetitive movement accompany their daydreaming, such as pacing, rocking, tapping, or shaking an object. Listening to music while daydreaming is common and hearing music may trigger a fantasy. A repetitive movement may be articulated to music while daydreaming.


This has been nearly my entire life--pacing while daydreaming, preferably with music.


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

I used to "roleplay" scenes from my stories while listening to music...had to do it in the dark as there were motions involved and I just felt so self-conscious, even though I was alone. Sometimes certain music, like the quote says, would help trigger a "fantasy"--I'd create a scene set to the music. Sometimes more than one, depending on which story I was most interested in at the time.

I don't do that anymore, but when I listen to music I walk around and do the roleplaying completely in my head now. I feel a LITTLE less weird, seeing the Wikipedia quote. :blush


----------



## BKrakow (Jul 8, 2010)

I've done this my whole life. it seems to have gotten worse in recent years but then again, I probably just notice it and think about it more. I remember reading an essay by freud in my literature and psychology class about how daydreaming stems from dissatisfaction but is also at the root of all artistic pursuit and that really stuck with me. maybe we can't rid ourselves of our tendency to daydream, but we can turn it into something creative as opposed to something that is just unproductive.

http://voidmanufacturing.wordpress.com/2008/11/06/creative-writers-and-daydreaming-by-sigmund-freud/


----------



## LifeinAShell (Apr 12, 2012)

i day dream about past things that were very hard to deal with then and it makes me break things


----------



## BKrakow (Jul 8, 2010)

ok, follow-up question: has anyone been diagnosed with/suspected they may have inattentive ADD?


----------



## BKrakow (Jul 8, 2010)

Skyloft said:


> I just looked up the symptoms for it, including inattentive ADD. From what I've seen, there's a pretty high chance that I could possibly have it. I'm not sure, though.
> 
> https://www.adda-sr.org/reading/Articles/mooreinattentive.htm
> 
> It sure sounds like I have inattentive ADD from what I've read here. Especially from the paragraphs I've posted here. I can relate to pretty much everything listed on that site.


I suspect I may have it, too, though I've never been diagnosed. I always did well in school and never really had problems taking tests or anything so I always assumed ADD wasn't something that applied to me, but I do have a lot of the symptoms that go along with inattentive ADD, like lack of motivation, procrastination, daydreaming, trouble starting things...not sure if it's ADD or depression, or a little of both exacerbating the other...bah! I've tried adderall before and it did nothing for me, but I've read that's typical of inattentive ADD...it's not really the type you can easily treat with drugs, I think it requires CBT.


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

BKrakow said:


> I've done this my whole life. it seems to have gotten worse in recent years but then again, I probably just notice it and think about it more. I remember reading an essay by freud in my literature and psychology class about how daydreaming stems from dissatisfaction but is also at the root of all artistic pursuit and that really stuck with me. maybe we can't rid ourselves of our tendency to daydream, but we can turn it into something creative as opposed to something that is just unproductive.
> 
> http://voidmanufacturing.wordpress.com/2008/11/06/creative-writers-and-daydreaming-by-sigmund-freud/


Not having read the article (slow Internet), but based on the post and link title...many of my daydreaming imaginings are later turned into writing. So, at least something comes of it. Now to just get people to read it! :blush



BKrakow said:


> ok, follow-up question: has anyone been diagnosed with/suspected they may have inattentive ADD?


I've been diagnosed with ADD sans the hyperactivity, so, if that's the same thing...


----------



## sansd (Mar 22, 2006)

BKrakow said:


> ok, follow-up question: has anyone been diagnosed with/suspected they may have inattentive ADD?


I've been thinking I might. I was going to try to get evaluated for it, but seeing a psychiatrist is so expensive, and I don't know that anything helpful would come of it since I wouldn't want to take medication anyway and I'd quickly run out of money paying for therapy.


----------



## kismetie (May 20, 2012)

*Another inattentive tendency could be summarized by the adage, appearances are deceiving. Inattentive students often seem to be paying attention as they sit quietly, and, indeed, they may stare directly at the instructor for an entire class period. Yet, during this time, their thoughts have drifted from the real world around them. In such instances, their bodies remain stationary while their minds wander aimlessly through a universe of ideas and images; frequently, their academic performance reflects this lack of connection with classroom activities.*

This was pretty much me in middle school.



BKrakow said:


> I do have a lot of the symptoms that go along with inattentive ADD, like lack of motivation, procrastination, daydreaming, trouble starting things...not sure if it's ADD or depression, or a little of both exacerbating the other...bah!


Ahahaha!! I totally get you here. I feel the same way. I'd never even thought of inattentive ADD until today o_o


----------



## Unkn0wn Pleasures (Nov 24, 2011)

Oh my god, there's a name for this?
Thankyou!


----------



## seaport (Sep 19, 2010)

I've had it since I was a little kid. How I suffered when a relative walked in on me in the throes of a passionate daydream. I'll never forget the look on my papa's face. I remember how shocked I was when I discovered that it actually had a name and other people did it too. I gotta say, awkwardness aside, I've always thought it was kind of awesome. I'm a creative writer so I love the fact that I have this vivid imagination.


----------



## kanra (Nov 27, 2011)

I have major ADD and I used to daydream practically all the time when I was younger. I think it was mostly out of boredom and loneliness. I watched a movie, and if it was an awesome movie, I'd make up a character and pretend I was that character in the movie. It's the same with TV shows, books, etc. I've been doing it ever since I can remember. Not as often now as back then, but I almost always do it in bed. It's a really bad habit...

I think it's mostly ADD for me.


----------



## thewall (Feb 1, 2009)

I've done this ever since I can remember.


----------



## Adam04 (Jan 20, 2013)

Seems like everyone who reads this thread thinks they have it. Seems to me people with Social anxiety would tend to daydream more because they are alone more. Of course they could spend the time playing XBox or watching TV I personally don't.

I use it to avoid socializing. I would describe my self in a crowded room of people as spaced out, not worried. 

Unfortunately it is not a good coping strategy in the long run and it's nearly impossible to stop.


----------



## Starxed (May 31, 2012)

I only discovered the name for it recently, but I have had this for years. I think since sometime in middle school, maybe even earlier. It's just a part of who I am. I don't really intend to do anything about it.. is that bad? I figure as long as it isn't negatively impacting my life in any way, why try to get rid of it? Its my way of coping and my way of life as an artist. 

It is cool to see that there are others who do this. I'm not alone in my weirdness, haha.


----------



## The Starry night (May 23, 2015)

There's a name for this? and i'm not the only one who does this...?

How do we cure this grrr....cant always be daydreaming all my life.


----------



## Ampata (Feb 3, 2016)

*Me*

Yeah, I've done it since pre-teen state, maybe always. I didn't know it was a thing so thanks for bringing it up. It's considered "normal" when you're young, cos teens fantasize about stars and stuff but I never grew out of it. If I weren't able to dream myself into what I need my life would be nothing short of one big black whole.


----------



## TheReplacement (Feb 6, 2016)

Juts wondering if this may be maladaptive daydreaming or if anyone else does it. I imagine conversations with people in great detail, I'll act out what I'd say in my head and then what their response would be, I can get fully immersed in this for stupid amounts of time. The conversations are generally based around daydreams in themselves, like I've won the lottery or I met this amazing girl. I always imagine these conversations with people I speak to regularly, the worrying thing is when I see these people I almost go to talk about the conversation we had but then catch myself at the last minute and remember that it was just me having it and they weren't actually there. I'm hoping others experience this because it seems even weirder now I've written it down!


----------



## The Starry night (May 23, 2015)

TheReplacement said:


> Juts wondering if this may be maladaptive daydreaming or if anyone else does it. I imagine conversations with people in great detail, I'll act out what I'd say in my head and then what their response would be, I can get fully immersed in this for stupid amounts of time. The conversations are generally based around daydreams in themselves, like I've won the lottery or I met this amazing girl. I always imagine these conversations with people I speak to regularly, the worrying thing is when I see these people I almost go to talk about the conversation we had but then catch myself at the last minute and remember that it was just me having it and they weren't actually there. I'm hoping others experience this because it seems even weirder now I've written it down!


Yep thats maladaptive daydreaming I do this as well. Sometimes we start to daydream about certain things, in full detail for ages, it makes us feel so good that we really want to believe it had happend that way or that it had happened..bcos we know we wont be able to do it that way or have that in the "real world". :/


----------



## TheReplacement (Feb 6, 2016)

The Starry night said:


> Yep thats maladaptive daydreaming I do this as well. Sometimes we start to daydream about certain things, in full detail for ages, it makes us feel so good that we really want to believe it had happend that way or that it had happened..bcos we know we wont be able to do it that way or have that in the "real world". :/


I'm glad I am not alone then! Yeah it does feel good having it go the way you'd like, I enjoy it that much that if I get interrupted whilst thinking I get annoyed with whatever or whoever interrupted me and then I have to start the whole conversation again in my head so I can complete it start to finish! :lol


----------



## melancholyxmike (Feb 12, 2016)

I can relate to this. I went through 3 years of high school being nearly mute because I was living inside my head. I remember one time I did speak up in class and my peers were completely shocked to hear me. They never knew what I sounded like. I was once driving a car and was nearly in a wreck because I was on the highway and was so zoned out that I at almost didn't break in time when I saw a car in front of me. I have many times had to have people aggressively get my attention because I'll drift off in a daydream.


----------



## Requiem19 (Oct 18, 2012)

I have this, although for me it doesn't really interfere with my daily life, except getting to sleep sometimes. I've also developed a paracosm I've had going since 2003 or thereabouts, around the time my dad died.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paracosm


----------



## VeryLoco (Mar 23, 2014)

I used to do this since I have memory until I was 10-11, then just slowly stopped doing it. I was very ashamed of it because of all the hand gestures so I did it in secret.


----------



## Metalgirlwoot (Feb 10, 2015)

I do this all the time after I've gone to bed, sometimes I'll stay awake for 2-3 hours just daydreaming whilest lying in bed. I have a had the same fantasy about being rich and awesome(obviously!) since I was 13-14 years old, only changing little details every now and then. I am aware it's just another thing fueling my depression but it's just so automatic thinking about it every time I go to bed.


----------



## RoyalRomeo (Mar 13, 2016)

Yeah I heard of Maladaptive Dreaming. I joined a forum last year for it but I haven't been there since because it's just terribly inactive. This is one huge reason why I think socializing is so difficult for me. I think it could even be a part of Asperger's in my case. Too bad this is not a well-known condition in the psychiatric community. I mean, it's such a strange concept but it's like OCD, like I have to do it even though it seems like on the surface that it serves no real useful purpose. 

I mean, I will do the strangest things in regards to Maladaptive Daydreaming; I will turn on visual novels over and over at the same scenes so I can daydream about a wonderful life with the main female characters as if I were the main male character. I can spend hours on end doing that. People who are aware of what this is have different ideas as to why they do it. Some say it could be it’s because daydreaming makes up for what we are missing in life, which in my case are social interactions. It makes a lot of sense, even if the act of it looks bizarre and would be hard to explain to someone orally.


----------



## Caed (Mar 13, 2016)

When I looked at the title of this thread, I had a sneaking suspicion that it'd describe what I do every day, and it totally does. I'll go into intense daydreaming states as soon as I wake up, and will waste most of my morning lost in them. I'll spend literal hours daydreaming on my days off, or after work. It's debilitating and stops me from doing the things I actually want to do. It's definitely been a coping mechanism for me, a way to soothe myself when I'm stressed about real life.


----------



## Acheron Black (Mar 14, 2016)

I think it can also be a positive. It can be a sign of creativity, and a source for inspiration.

At the very least, it doesn't hurt to pass the time, especially at a mundane job consisting of boring tasks.


----------



## Amber 92 (Mar 13, 2016)

Bunyip said:


> Wow. I think I have this. I figured it was just my way of adapting to being lonely for so long, and this last year I've really been regretting choosing sitting around fantasizing instead of meeting people.
> 
> "This extreme daydreaming often begins in childhood. Books, movies, music, video games, and other media may be daydreaming initiators. Insistent movements while daydreaming like pacing, rocking, spinning, shaking something in their hand, etc are common. Our minds may stroll during uninteresting tasks because daydreaming is essentially the brain's normal state, rather than a pointless distraction.
> 
> ...


I feel really lucky I stumbled upon this. I have been daydreaming as an escape since kindergarten. I would make the gestures sometimes maybe talk or mumble to myself. I think I would be accused of staring at people too because I was so mentally gone I didn't realize where I was looking. I passed most of my life that way. I'm glad I'm not the only one lol. The lying in bed for hours doing nothing but day dreaming is me too.


----------



## Amber 92 (Mar 13, 2016)

So I know I do this. I have for years and I have known it was a problem since Elementary. At the same time it is the only way I make myself happy sometimes..

Sad story of someone else. She was sexually abused-raped repeatedly at the age of 10 by a brother that was something like 17. Her mom told her she was to blame. She must have developed this habit to escape. Later it got intense enough that one day her two year old kid was in the back seat, no seat belt, no car seat (because the small town late 60s were like that) and the baby fell out of the car. The mom just kept driving. Didn't notice the two older siblings yelling, trying to get her attention. Finally someone pulled up next to her and let her know... I guess this can get to be a pretty horrible problem.


----------

