# Would you want children/a family?



## Ump40xLq02 (Sep 10, 2015)

My answer was an instant "no" in the past because kids can be annoying, loud, stinky, etc, and I never thought of being in a relationship. Though, my mindset has changed since 2 years ago because I was so lonely and I was desperate to love/be loved. I want children so I wouldn't be alone again, in case my potential husband leaves me or dies for some reason :c


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## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

"Instant no" for me lol.


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## CheezusCrust (May 23, 2013)

I don't want children.


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## bittersweetavenue (Jan 1, 2015)

I do but not anytime soon. I still want to cling onto the last of my dying youth while I can. :crying:


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

I couldn't handle/afford a family at this point. If my situation improves maybe.


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## i suck at life (Mar 14, 2014)

yea, i used to say no to wanting kids up until i was about 20/21
but yea i changed my mind. i think it would be nice to have a family of my own


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

But why do you want kids? Really, I mean?

What do you have to give? I don't want to offend, but your post is full of "I" and "me".

I don't want to come off as judgmental or anything like that, not my intention. But I have four kids. I hope that anyone that makes the decision to have kids is ready to give everything, and I mean everything they have for them. I figured out pretty early into this whole "fatherhood" thing that I wish I had more to give my kids than I do. I seriously cannot give enough.

I look back now, and there is LBK and LAK. And it's so true. I would not be alive right now if it were not for my kids. I seriously wouldn't.

The thing is, I've posted here before about this, but I found out that I give and give and give, I remember staying up for literally days at a time, feeding, changing, burping, rocking babies, all night long and then showering and going to work on no sleep, and now I answer phone calls at all hours, my youngest daughter still crawls into bed with me sometimes when she doesn't feel good or has a bad dream, and she's 12 now, my daughters have boy troubles, and it....just...never....ever...ends. And that's what it's all about. I've found that I give and I give and I give and the strange thing is it doesn't feel like I'm giving at all. It's just what I do.

And they give back, so, so much more than I ever thought they would. My kids taught me how to love in ways that I never thought possible, they taught me a whole, whole lot about myself, they helped me grow. That's the irony of the whole thing. It's all about what you can give away. Not what you can get. To me, anyways.

How much are you willing to give?


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## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

TenYears said:


> But why do you want kids? Really, I mean?
> 
> What do you have to give? I don't want to offend, but your post is full of "I" and "me".
> 
> ...


Fantastic question from a *parent*. I would like to read some answers to this.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

I could never properly care for children--not financially, physically, or emotionally. I'm far too much a child myself, mentally speaking. With my temper and intolerance for frustration, I'm afraid I could even become abusive toward children. 

Plus the fact that kids terrify me, with their staring and volatile emotions and utter lack of tact...I can't handle such things. I'm scared enough of those traits in adults. :afr

It's all moot since I'll never be in a relationship and even if I were, I don't want sex. Oh, and I'm 39, getting on in years (I keep forgetting that part ops ). But no...if it were an option I would *never, ever* want children.


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## Shawn81 (Jul 9, 2014)

Definitely no children. And at my age, that makes me very undesirable (among a list of other things) I'd imagine. Which really sucks.


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

no. I like my personal freedom, what I have of it anyways. and I want more of it, not less.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

Yes to a family but growing up I was the only kid I knew with parents still together and even they aren't together now as of 3 years ago so that's the one thing that scares me away from having a family.


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## Findedeux (Mar 16, 2012)

I want a wonderful girlfriend and two children; a boy and girl....puppy.


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## APrisonerOfTheMind (Aug 20, 2014)

My first goal is to find a women that can relate to me, and except me for myself and how I am rather then all the idiotic ideologies programmed into today's women of society. After that and we have had time to live and learn with each other, I would consider having a child. But the ONLY time I would consider it is when I am 1. financially stable and can give my child everything he/she needs, 2. when I am educated enough to be able to home school and teach my child real knowledge and education. Not the bull**** federally controlled and indoctrinated junk that our public schooling system teaches.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Having a child because you don't want to be alone isn't a very good reason, but you're still pretty young so... (Not to sound patronising.)

I always liked the idea of raising a child if I found the right partner, but the labour/giving birth side of things has always scared me, I don't like pain. But I'm 24 now, and already very behind in life. If I wanted to have a child I'd ideally be having one around the same time my parents did (31~) based on how old they are now, and I think younger may actually be better since I already worry about my parents a lot and I'm only 24. My dad is stressed a lot, and I feel like the way he lives is going to take a negative toll on him probably not too far from now he also smokes though (bad idea,) and I also worry about my mum developing alzheimer's like her dad. Part of that is that I worry obsessively about everything but also having younger, fitter parents is ideal.

35 would be the latest sensible age to have a child naturally imo. One of my aunts had her second child when she was.. Maybe 38/39? Seems like her daughter's healthy from what I've heard but the risk of having a child with downs syndrome goes up a lot after 35, it actually increases quite a bit even after 30. Chance of having a child with various other disabilities goes up a lot too the older you get, it also gets harder to even get pregnant naturally.

If there's a time where my life is going well and I'm in a good situation emotionally and financially, I think realistically it will be too late. I'm definitely not going to be one of those people who just finds the first person who wants kids and doesn't seem like an ******* either... And if I was with someone who didn't want children I wouldn't leave them either because being in love and having that reciprocated is more important to me, I'd like to experience that one day but I'm not sure that will happen :/

I might get a cat one day.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

No it's too late for that.


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

I've opened up to the idea of it more as I've gotten older so maybe... w/ the right person.


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## mca90guitar (Sep 12, 2012)

no kid for me, have no desire and rather have a dog.


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## Cronos (Mar 31, 2013)

No, but it's not a hard "no." I'm only 22. Maybe I might want a family when I'm out of school and financially stable. Maybe not.


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## Topshelf (Jan 17, 2014)

I do and dont. If i ever get married and have children i suppose my life would be pretty much complete, the thought having a family excited me. At the same time children are alot of work, especially if you have more then 2, Plus idk if id wana bring children into this fu**ed up world.


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## Kilgore Trout (Aug 10, 2014)

No.
Instant and confident No.
One of the reasons i'm afraid to approach girls is because i'm worried about them realizing i don't want any future.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Yeah but I can't have anything.


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## RandomGentleman (Aug 4, 2014)

Not in a million years. I'd take a lifetime of singledom over having to raise annoying children I'll never love.


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## APrisonerOfTheMind (Aug 20, 2014)

RandomGentleman said:


> Not in a million years. I'd take a lifetime of singledom over having to raise annoying children I'll never love.


That is harsh, very harsh.


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## RandomGentleman (Aug 4, 2014)

APrisonerOfTheMind said:


> That is harsh, very harsh.


Harsh but true. No point sugarcoating it.


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## APrisonerOfTheMind (Aug 20, 2014)

RandomGentleman said:


> Harsh but true. No point sugarcoating it.


Some people want kids some don't. I look at it as it's a chance to give that child something that I missed out on for a large majority of my life. To raise them without the anxiety, without the poverty, without all the embarrassment I went through growing up. And maybe they will be something more then what I am, and of course to carry on the blood line :smile2:


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## Orbiter (Jul 8, 2015)

No, because first off, I wouldn't be a good parent as I can't even stand on my own two feet in life and the second reason is simply, I never had the urge to have children in my life and no that won't ever change, contrary to this stupid believe people like to spout out ("yes, you're saying it now but wait a few years and you'll change your mind blah blah blah).
Even if I found a woman who I like and vic versa and she wanted to have children with me (for whatever reason lol), the rational part of my brain would just say "dude, remember! Children = money, lot of dedication, much less free time and of course TEH RESPONSIBILITY!".
Thanks brain, at least you are good at something.


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## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

Kevin001 said:


> I couldn't handle/afford a family at this point. If my situation improves maybe.


Same for me


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## Loosh (Oct 13, 2015)

I'm not sure. Realistically for me right now: No. I don't have the money to support a child and I don't have a girlfriend. Which are two biggies in a list of biggies.


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## dune87 (Aug 10, 2015)

It's one of my dreams. 
I don't know if it'll ever come true though. Because in order to have these you first have to find the love of your life. And not panic when it happens. And be vulnerable. And be able to compromise.


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## Cuban FL Cracker (Jul 22, 2014)

Yes, I want a big family and a stationwagon full of babies. I want at least 4 or 5 kids. The more, the merrier. I'd love to have kids now but I'm not married yet. 

Life without marriage and kids seems lonely and un-fulfilling to me.


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## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

I really like Ten years post, I feel having kids is really about how much you can give away: How much love,time,money,emotion you channel toward their well-being. Kids seen dolls you can play with and then put down,nope they're for 18 yrs lol.

I always wanted kids but I know I need to changed dramatically if I ever want them...you have to be strong to be a paten BC parenthood doesn't come with a manual and theirs gonna be alot of twists and turns you have to handle.

But a couple of problems..well roadblocks that that make me recoil at the thought of kids is one, passing on anxiety,depression or anything else in my family gene pool, wondering I ill be able to raise them to be capable full functioning adults when I myself am struggling at 24.... Then postpartum depression..i already have anxiety..i dont want to spiral to the point of no return to just bring life into the world..

And I just ..dont want to see them struggle like I did,with loneliness, anxiety..thats hard to watch..if I have kids I want them to be happier than me and more capable than me in every way..

I want kids by the cons out weigh the pros..so idk in a few years ill see if I still want them..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Strategist (May 20, 2008)

Definitely not. 

Wouldn't mind borrowing my niece so I could go trick or treating though.


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

You could never convince me to inflict life on another being. This curse ends with me.


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## Akuba (Oct 17, 2014)

Not a fan of it to be honest.

But if it'll happen, so be it.


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

Spouses cheat and leave, and children die.


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## Genetic Garbage (May 7, 2011)

No. Never wanted children and I still haven't changed my mind to this day and doubt I'll have a change of heart in the future.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Great. said:


> Wouldn't mind borrowing my niece so I could go trick or treating though.


So you like renting a kid, knowing you can return to owner when it becomes a PITA.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Given my genetics, it's obvious that I should not father a child. And I don't want a woman with a kid unless she has the ability to fully support that child. No way in hell is a cent of my money to to raise another man's offspring.


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## Strategist (May 20, 2008)

UltraShy said:


> So you like renting a kid, knowing you can return to owner when it becomes a PITA.


Exactly.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

I don't think that far ahead, gotta find someone to have kids with first.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Up until the past 3 years or so, I was highly unsure if I wanted to have children. Now, I am coming around to the idea. I can see it happening whenever I find the right woman, and being completely happy.


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

I think it's highly risky in today's society.


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## ac2009 (Aug 3, 2015)

I really do want children, but not for a while. The thing is I haven't met anyone that I would consider a life partner and when I was a baby, I was born with a major heart problem and I had two open heart surgeries. I can possibly have healthy babies, but there is a chance that my child could inherit that.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

I'm never going to have kids. I'm way too late to that party, so it's not worth going now. Same with marriage.


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## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

Have a two-year-old girl and another child on the way. Yes, it's a lot of work, especially at first, but it's also quite enjoyable as she learns to talk, do things herself that she couldn't before etc. Wouldn't want to go back for anything.


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## Ophc39i (Oct 19, 2015)

I'm starting to get used to the idea that I won't achieve anything special in life, so at least I can have kids  anyway as I am getting older, it is getting less and less fun to be alone, it's crazy how your life is over once most people of your age are married or have kids, they won't go out anymore, they spend all their free time with their family... so if you don't want to be alone, you have to get a family of yours.


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## Chelsalina (Oct 15, 2014)

I definitely want a kid, in fact I feel ready to have one now even though I'm only 17. I think having a kid when you're younger and have more energy is a lot better than waiting till your 30's and reaching that age when everything becomes physically and emotionally draining. I know most people look down on adolescents having children but that's usually because they didn't have protection and weren't prepared. Me, I have a lot of experience with children, I'm mature, I have a lot of patience, and I love them all to death so I feel as if I'm around the right age to have a child. But first I need to find the right boyfriend who is also ready for a child.


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

I would like to get married or at least have a lifelong relationship, but I'm not sure I want children. I'm not entirely against the idea, it's just the way I want to live my life is really not the best for raising a child. Ultimately if it came down to it, I would compromise my life/happiness for the sake of the child, rather than make compromises on my kids life, and that's what scares me, because I've seen so many of my older relatives with hopes and dreams end up settling for a less successful and satisfying life because they had to focus on raising their children, and I'm not sure I want to spend my only chance at life that way.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Having a kid has been the most positive thing to happen in my life. I can understand why Angelina wants to adopt the world's kids.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I would like to have children. 
It was neat to see all the kidz trick-or-treating.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Absolutely not.


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## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

I don't want them, but it doesn't matter. My eggs will be all dried up, soon.


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## Puppet Master (Jan 1, 2012)

Children? No I'll stick with cats their cute and fun for me while kids are ugly little annoying trolls.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

I am working on it.

there's this sexy guy at my work with blue eyes, tan skin and a hard body who's giving me the green light.

I think we would have cute babies.

I stopped taking birth control after having been on the f***ing pill for 8 years and I will NEVER take oral contraceptives AGAIN. Ever again I will never so much as touch a pill, because it f***cked up my hormones.

So I feel like my baby making machine is that much more vulnerable now because if the condom doesnt work then I guess I'm with child.

PS I'm not sleeping with guys I'm not attracted to anymore

I'm only gonna have the prime cut of meat that I'd be ok if he went bareback with if we were in a serious relationship because that's just how thoughtful I am


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## apx24 (Jan 31, 2012)

No because I am not selfish.


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## Cyclonic (Oct 25, 2012)

I will likely be in a financial position to support a family in a few years, but I simply don't want one. I have no desire to ever have children nor would I be capable of properly raising and caring for them. I plan on enjoying the rest of my life, and I believe it would be irresponsible for me to have children.


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## Telliblah (Sep 19, 2015)

I don't like the Disney Channel, so no!


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## Fangirl96 (Apr 13, 2015)

Yes i do. What's better than having people who are kinda forced to love you? Lol, no but seriously yeah. I'm not that fond of other peoples children tho. They're insanely annoying. But i really think that i would love my own kids. Atleast i hope so. But the whole thing of having children terrifies me, so i think i'll have to settle with kittens instead. Also, i think it's really sad to see that most siblings despise eachother. I don't know any family where siblings actually like eachother. Many don't even talk to eachother when they're adults. It's too much responsibilty to prevent that.


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## pplnt (Jun 22, 2015)

Dunno it changes with my mood.


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## pandana (Jul 13, 2015)

I just want a baby duck tbh and I'll take it for walks everyday. People are too much work.


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## 3r10n (Aug 29, 2014)

Maybe someday, but not for the next few years atleast.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

calichick said:


> I am working on it.
> 
> there's this sexy guy at my work with blue eyes, tan skin and a hard body who's giving me the green light.
> 
> ...


 I think I'm sh-t scared of this kind of thinking lol - as are most guys I imagine.


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## theotherone (Sep 1, 2015)

i will have 2,

n already had visions about that. 

i'm just waiting for the kid, really, but that's gonna be in a couple years, =D.

wanted to adopt a whole bunch too LOL


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## Ameenah (Mar 21, 2012)

I was never good with kids. I never knew what to say to them. Babies always cried when I held them. I had super anxiety around children. I had my daughter last year and it took me about 6 months to learn how to do "baby talk" lol but it did come naturally. I'm going through my lows of SA and depression right now but I will say that having a child helps me push through it.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

calichick said:


> I am working on it.
> 
> there's this sexy guy at my work with blue eyes, tan skin and a hard body who's giving me the green light.
> 
> ...


Have you thought about getting an iud? There's a non hormonal version. I'll list the pros and cons (just a heads up I haven't had one inserted so can't speak from personal experience):

pros:

the ones with more copper (because they vary a little,) are over 99% effective at preventing pregnancy - the most effective form of birth control

works as soon as it's put in, can last for 10 years, usually lasts at least 5 (depends on type.)

You can put it in any time as long as you're not pregnant

it can be removed at any time too, by a nurse/doctor and you'll quickly return to normal fertility levels.

can also be used as emergency contraception if inserted up to 7 days after unprotected sex.

After it's inserted you can check to make sure it's still inserted properly by checking the strings attached to it. Your recommended to check a few times in the first month, and after that after every period.

In the UK it's free (yay,) it's not in the US, but it does apparently work out cheaper for you overtime than other forms of birth control would.

cons:

Have to have it inserted by nurses/a doctor.

in the rare cases you do get pregnant it's more likely to be ectopic so you'll need to see someone about that quickly. However because of the reduced rate of getting pregnant, your chances of experiencing this kind of pregnancy are still lower than any woman who is sexually active and doesn't use contraception.

Your body may expel it, this is uncommon and if it's going to happen usually will happen in the first 6 weeks.

very small chance of infection in first month

Can rarely, perforate the uterus or cervix when it's put in.

insertion can be uncomfortable or in some cases painful, having it inserted when your cervix is more open (on your period or during ovulation,) is best apparently.

can increase menstrual bleeding/cramps, this usually stops after the first several months though if it happens.

If you decide to get one inserted it's better to have someone else drive you home just in case.



Fangirl96 said:


> Yes i do. What's better than having people who are kinda forced to love you? Lol, no but seriously yeah. I'm not that fond of other peoples children tho. They're insanely annoying. But i really think that i would love my own kids. Atleast i hope so. But the whole thing of having children terrifies me, so i think i'll have to settle with kittens instead. Also, i think it's really sad to see that most siblings despise eachother. I don't know any family where siblings actually like eachother. Many don't even talk to eachother when they're adults. It's too much responsibilty to prevent that.


I'm close with my brother, so it can happen. When we were younger people thought we were twin girls lol, but he's actually 18 months younger than me.


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## Amorphousanomaly (Jun 20, 2012)

No kids ever.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

I am not getting an IUd, an IRS, a STD, a DSS, a DUI, a POD, a NOTHING near my body which doesn't involve a guy wearing a rubber around his C**K.

It is not my responsibility to do anything, and you be sure as hell I put copper, zinc, lead, iron any of the elements of the world inside my vagina.
ML

No thank you



Persephone The Dread said:


> Have you thought about getting an iud? There's a non hormonal version. I'll list the pros and cons (just a heads up I haven't had one inserted so can't speak from personal experience):
> 
> pros:
> 
> ...


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## EllinesMono (Nov 3, 2015)

Nope. I couldn't deal with the anxiety that would be with me 24/7. I would like to have a deep relationship with someone but I only see myself having a relationship with someone else with SAD and other anxiety problems so we could relate extensively.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

if I can ever learn to deal with men - which is highly unlikely because I am a f***ing nutcase- he's gonna wear a rubber for the rest of his life or if he snips mr piper.

I am done with birth control.

I will sooner break up with the love of my life than go on the Pill again.

The pill is the equivalent of NZT in the movie Limitless. When you're on it, you feel like nothing can beat you down, everything is rosey and perfect. 

The moment you come off it, your life is f***ed. You will age about 10 years, your anxiety will go into overdrive, you will contemplate suicide, become paranoid, your skin and hair will rot for a year, the re-adjustment period will make you reconsider everything you once knew and/or loved. You will want to hump anything with two legs, and your PMS will last 2 weeks of every month.

It's your body not making any hormones.

You're a woman without cause.

It sucks.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

calichick said:


> I am not getting an IUd, an IRS, a STD, a DSS, a DUI, a POD, a NOTHING near my body which doesn't involve a guy wearing a rubber around his C**K.
> 
> *It is not my responsibility to do anything,* and you be sure as hell I put copper, zinc, lead, iron any of the elements of the world inside my vagina.
> ML
> ...


Well as long as you're aware or your options. It's non hormonal and a lot of women seem to highly recommend it, there's at least one user on this forum who has one and seems a strong supporter.

I mean no form of birth control is perfect, often almost enough to put you off having intercourse frankly, but getting pregnant unexpectedly when you're not ready isn't good.

And it is your responsibility to make sure you're as protected as you can be since sometimes condoms break, and you're relying on the guy too, at least unless you're OK with just getting pregnant.

15 out of 100 woman get pregnant when using condoms for a year. That's not too bad a risk 15% but that risk is like 1 in 100 with an iud (and that's just an iud I think, not an iud plus a condom)

But you're putting a lot of trust into the other person, you have to trust that they're putting it on properly and stories where guys take the condom off during sex without women realising aren't unheard of. but you're not going to be having casual sex I don't think? So just make sure you trust your partner enough I guess, and make sure you're upfront about what birth control you're on (which you should be anyway really.)



calichick said:


> The moment you come off it, your life is f***ed. You will age about 10 years, your anxiety will go into overdrive, you will contemplate suicide, become paranoid, your skin and hair will rot for a year, the re-adjustment period will make you reconsider everything you once knew and/or loved. You will want to hump anything with two legs, and your PMS will last 2 weeks of every month.


Well a lot of that sounds like me right now anyway, despite never being on any hormones and I don't know about ****ing _everything _ with 2 legs, but I do have a crazy sex drive sometimes. So perhaps I'd be just fine. Either that or I'd just transform into the Hulk literally if I ever got off them...


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Well as long as you're aware or your options. It's non hormonal and a lot of women seem to highly recommend it, there's at least one user on this forum who has one and seems a strong supporter.
> 
> I mean no form of birth control is perfect, often almost enough to put you off having intercourse frankly, but getting pregnant unexpectedly when you're not ready isn't good.
> 
> ...


I said already I'm not sleeping with anyone I'm not attracted to/not in a serious relationship with anyway.

So if Bradley Cooper wants to take off the condom while he's inside me, I will be more than happy to populate the world with his children :lol

Or something...

Let's just say any guy that goes near me I'm going to really like him.

He's gonna be someone I would be ok getting pregnant by. Cause that's the risk we all take and let's face it, 20s are the prime time for your eggs. I'm looking to have a baby in 7 years tops..


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Findedeux said:


> I want a wonderful girlfriend and two children; a boy and girl....puppy.


Sounds good.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

I know some serious potential at my work.

SERIOUS guys I feel like I'm on Bachelorette and I'm trying to work on my baby daddy...

If only I wasn't so f***ing awkward around guys I like. I'm going to make it happen because Cali chicks never quit


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## Cashel (Oct 29, 2013)

Yeah, I think so. Certainly not any time soon, though.


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## SunnyOne (Nov 4, 2015)

No kids for me. Happily childfree free! I take a look around at this world, I personally wouldn't want to raise a child in this sick world. (Not to be negative, just a realist).


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