# I feel younger than I am, not in a good way



## OregonMommy

I'm 39, but feel much younger, but more immature, a teen or in my 20's. It's totally not comfortable.
People have always said I look younger. Some one the other day thought I was in my 20's. I feel young without the energy or enthusiasm.

Sometimes, it's either that, or I will feel very, very old, and tired. 
My therapist said it's just because we're dealing with childhood trauma (I was abused). It caused depression and anxiety, and the distrust I have of others, partially causing the SA.

This isn't all the time, mind you, but a lot of the time.


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## livinginfear

I feel much younger as well, and not in a good way. I wasn't abused as a child, but have been traumatized in a sense my entire life by SA. I have the same feelings I had as a child so I assume that has a lot to do with it. I have an adult son, and I have to say it's a bizarre thing when your children become "older" than you! :O)


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## ktbare

I feel much the same, you're not alone.
I just feel as though I never had a childhood so I will always be yearning for it.


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## ktbare

I have an adult son, and I have to say it's a bizarre thing when your children become "older" than you! :O)[/QUOTE]

Yes. I also have children and my oldest (6) is nearing my maturity level lol, its scary.


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## Amelia

I feel the same way. Probably because being relaxed in social situations (or at least putting on the social mask that these situations demand) is considered a sign of maturity, and I still haven't mastered it!


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## Ysonesse

I definitely feel younger than my age, because I'm not in the same place other people my age are in general. I don't own a home, I don't have a comfortable job, I don't have the relative wisdom that's supposed to come with age. I'm forever in the middle of a late 30's version of the mid-life crisis, and I can't get started in any direction.


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## LostPancake

Yes I have a case of Arrested Development also. I'm still stuck on 13 or so. And sometimes 4 or 5, or younger. All this stuff keeps coming up in therapy that doesn't even have thoughts associated with it, just feelings from early childhood. I've got a lot of work to do. It's like this house that got built on a bad foundation, and I'm trying to repair it. But I'm feeling almost hopeful about it.


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## Sunshine009

I am like that also. I am improving although.


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## OregonMommy

It sounds like a lot of people are dealing with this.
There was a thread where some people said they felt like a child b/c of hiding and/or felt awkward in social situations, and I definitely relate to that. Have always been like that since I've known.
Also many (not all) people have dealt with childhood trauma and that compiles with the trauma of dealing with SA.


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## merryk

I imagine I'd feel more my age if I'd had some of the same common experiences as my peers: marriage, children, solid friendships, home ownership, decent career, financial planning...

My social anxieties fuel the feeling of stunted personal growth :|


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin

People tell me I look older than I am. "age aint nothing but a number" or so says the paedophile R Kelly.


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin

Jesus, I killed this thread. Sorry!


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## OregonMommy

JimmyDeansRetartedCousin said:


> Jesus, I killed this thread. Sorry!


You're not a thread-killer, it was just out of responses this thread!


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## danberado

If feel emotionally stunted and inexperienced when it comes to romance. When I'm around couples or flirting people I do feel quite childish, and wish to be somewhere else. 


However, the rest of the time I feel much older, because of the weight that years of relentless self-criticism puts on my shoulders. Definitely much more cynical than I once was.


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## Toad Licker

In many ways I'm still 16.


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## marc72

merryk said:


> I imagine I'd feel more my age if I'd had some of the same common experiences as my peers: marriage, children, solid friendships, home ownership, decent career, financial planning...
> 
> My social anxieties fuel the feeling of stunted personal growth :|


as a male I feel this way too. I notice I stay away from married people want to set you up and single people always want to party and meet people and that is fine but I like to do so in my own pace and its a slow pace. However, I even when I talk its or gestures its a bit child like and im 38. I feel youthful but weird about it like most of you. I wonder I guess there is some benefits to feeling young but not being reckless.

dating like others I see is hard cause not having the proper career, house etc. puts you in a awkward situation .


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## Pam

Sometimes I feel 3, 5, or 6; sometimes 15, sometimes 18. 

In photos i am surprised at how old I look--how the inside doesn't match the outside.


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## morebipolarthanyou

*reply*

I'm not sure ppl really get what your saying. You could be bipolar. This drastic of youthful feeling is only synonomous with this


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## isurfallday

its called arrested development


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## victoriangirl

For years I looked much younger than I was and I loved it because it reflected it my inside as well. Sadly I do notice this year that I am getting older - but it is not necessary the age, but the stress of life with SA. 

I feel childish quite often as well and that feels weird. This is going to sound really insane but whenever I am at ease, at home totally relaxed, I act like a hyperactive child! It feels like because I am so quiet, so shy & tense all day that when I am at home I turn crazy! I find myself jumping up & down, making really childish (yet funny!) jokes, talking in a child voice, teasing my cats (poor cats!) and it is like I cannot stop.....It does feel really good though so I guess I have nothing to complain about.


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## In a Lonely Place

Yeah i know how you feel,i feel like an akward child in certain situations.Sometimes i feel like i just follow people around like a puppy because i have no clue what to do.I'm emotionally like a small child at times i think,worked in London for a long time but in construction so always moving around to different sites.One day i had to go in by myself to a new job so i wasn't familiar with the route,anyways i got lost and as time went by the panic set in and then i felt like crying like a kid thats lost their parents.
I'm certain thats not normal to feel that way as an adult


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## GregW

I think way younger than my real age, and still have child-like emotions a lot of the time. I can put on an act of being my real age, but it's just that, an act on the surface. People tend to think I look younger than I am too, which is a compliment I guess, but it makes me feel so old when they find out my real age.


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## mark84

Oh god, this is totally me, i'm in my mid twenties and I've reverted back to the life i was living at 15. Got rid of my car, any dreams of moving out of home, and I'm back to watching Rugrats and eating Skittles! I suck.


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## DAM71392

Rugratz and skittles sounds yummy


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## Juliet83

Ugh, yes. It doesn't help that I'm a small person in general as well.
So I look young, get treated young, and feel a bit trapped in that sometimes, especially around condescending people who think its cute to ruffle my hair, or ask me if I was "born yet" when xyz movie or song came out...
I want to scream, and tell them off, but I can't find the words most of the time!


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## falling down

I am who I am and I don't care what people think about who I am.


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## Brian29

Juliet83 said:


> Ugh, yes. It doesn't help that I'm a small person in general as well.
> So I look young, get treated young, and feel a bit trapped in that sometimes, especially around condescending people who think its cute to ruffle my hair, or ask me if I was "born yet" when xyz movie or song came out...
> I want to scream, and tell them off, but I can't find the words most of the time!


Story of my life... I mean look at me, I get mistaken for being in high school, and I know I don't get too much respect from a lot of people because of it.


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## thora

I agree, I am a child at heart. I'm 29 and I have never been in a relationship, never dated, so whenever people talk about their spouses or relationship stuff, I feel very self-conscious and insecure. I also look young and have child-like interests. For example, I could look up rock bands online for hours and hours like I would have in high school and that keeps me happy at least for the time being. I live in my own world. Also, although I have a generally negative attitude about people, I am very naive and trusting toward anyone who shows me some kindness.


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## komorikun

I have always had a middle-aged personality, even when I was a teenager. So I feel my age I suppose. I have never been perky or energetic. Maybe I feel slightly younger cause unlike most people my age, I haven't worked a 9-5 for 10 years. I believe that will mature you or more like....crush your soul. 

I suppose I am immature compared to people married with kids and a mortgage but there are a lot of single, older, childless people in my city.


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## sootnstars

Same here... I feel like an adult in certain ways. I keep my apartment clean, cook actual meals, pay bills on time, etc. In other ways, I feel like I won't ever be considered an "adult" until I'm also a wife and/or mother. I get this a lot from my family. At holiday dinners, I have sit at the "kids table" because I'm not married and/or have a mortgage. It also doesn't help my hobbies are snowboarding, longboarding, and roller skating... but since I don't really have any friends, SO, or social life, I've got to do things that make me feel alive!


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## thora

I always feel like the things I bring up in conversation are more "young." While the rest of the adult world just wants to talk about factual things related to sex, divorce, bills, drinking, cars, I'm more about talking about random things and observations and about tv, arts, etc.


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## iLLmanic562

marc72 said:


> as a male I feel this way too. I notice I stay away from married people want to set you up and single people always want to party and meet people and that is fine but I like to do so in my own pace and its a slow pace. However, I even when I talk its or gestures its a bit child like and im 38. I feel youthful but weird about it like most of you. I wonder I guess there is some benefits to feeling young but not being reckless.
> 
> dating like others I see is hard cause not having the proper career, house etc. puts you in a awkward situation .


I'm 30 and feel the same way too...Just feel like a bit slower on doing what has to be done, so I procrastinate a lot. But like what you're saying, it's certain gestures that I've done or responses, or even how/when I talk, I feel like I'm still a kid...it wouldn't be so bad but when you 'feel' like people are treating you like one, that's when I tend to be bitter and sad and angry at the same time


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## iLLmanic562

well I'm 30 years old, but have felt like mentally I'm around 16...in high school, people said I looked a little older because of facial hair..but throuout my 20's people have always said I look younger. I always took it as a compliment, but then you wake up one day and realize you're 30, that you havent accomplished much and I don't really have many goals for myself. the ones I had, I feel that SAD took them away from me


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