# Do men really go for looks and women go for status?



## northstar1991 (Oct 4, 2011)

I read this interesting article (http://ht.ly/lQxSH) that talks about the reasons why it seems that men often go for looks and why women often go for status. The author believes the reasons lie not in evolutionary psychology but mostly in the environment we're raised in. He proposes the reasons so many of us follow these patterns is mostly out of concern for how others will perceive us rather than us really preferring them. Thoughts?


----------



## mahnamahna (Apr 10, 2013)

The good looking ones with unlimited options (I.e. Channing Tatum and Kate Upton) do

Most guys with half a brain especially ones who SA want a girl to keep them company - the pretty "girl next door" can suffice for most guys just like the geek with a heart of gold can suffice for most women

If looks or status is all that's on their mind, no reason to give them the time of day


----------



## Life Aint No Joke (Mar 8, 2013)

No


----------



## 87Daniel (Jun 9, 2012)

Personally, I don't care about what others think. I cannot speak for the rest of my gender, but I would assume that a lot don't go just for looks out of concern of how others might judge their partner. Still, there is no doubt in my mind that it happens quite a lot also lol. It all boils down to percentages, there's never such an encompassing reality where everyone neatly fits in.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Anytime anyone follows what society wants against what they truly want, then that person is weak and/or confused. If they weren't weak and confused then they would go after what THEY like.

If I was attracted to 600lbs women with one arm and glass eyes then I would be happy and I would be happy with a 600lb women with one arm and glass eyes regardless of what society thinks.

Better yet, what about the gays who are still in opposition to a lot of societal views but they still are gay because they are attracted to the same sex. You don't see them going with members of the opposite sex because of what they look like or their status because they ARE GAY.

I think evolutionary biology has a huge part to do with who we find attractive, but I have to question it sometimes considering how some are homosexuals, as this goes against evolutionary biology. However, there may be things we don't know about underlying brain determinants with mate selection. Recent published articles have talked about theories relating to "epi-marks", which I find interesting because it kind of fits in with the scheme of evolutionary biology.

In the end, I think guys are attracted to certain qualities, as well as women, because it makes the human-race-go-round. And we really aren't that different from other animals, of whom do the exact same crap to keep their species-race-go-round.


----------



## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

No.

I go for love.


----------



## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

No. Well, maybe the people whose brains are still on the level of a neanderthal do.


----------



## Mersault (Dec 18, 2012)

Although it is true that i could not be in a sexual relationship with a woman unless i considered her at least a bit attractive, it is also equally true that i would rather be in such a relationship with a mildly attractive (in my view) woman, rather than with a more attractive but seriously flawed in regards to personality.


----------



## Beingofglass (May 5, 2013)

I don't go for anything above modest looks and a healthy body, because that's what I got myself. Might aswell stay real.


----------



## nowornever (Jun 6, 2013)

Not sure about women yet but for guys I'm pretty convinced we aren't looking for much, hence why nearly every female on here has a bf and nearly every guy on here is single. I'd just like a gf who is down to earth and not too annoying. If she looks good that's a bonus but beggars like me can't be choosers.


----------



## ShineGreymon (May 30, 2013)

eh ? woman are just as shallow as men if not more so.


----------



## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

You could make an argument either way, but I think it's a bit of both. A lot of people are drawn towards people with good looks and people of high status because society expects people to be (and it makes them look better to be with these people). Also by looking back at history, it seems like it's only natural to find good looking and people of high status appealing. I think as humans, our species is so smart that we can look past and fight our human nature to some extent. A lot of people will recognize that it's natural to be drawn towards good looking people, or people of high status, and fight that by refusing to be like the majority of the species. I think we grow up being naturally attracted to good looking and high status people, but are intelligent enough to train our brains to not be (whether it's genuine or not). Both evolutionary psychology and societal expectations play a role.


----------



## nullptr (Sep 21, 2012)

Amphoteric said:


> No. Well, maybe the people whose brains are still on the level of a neanderthal do.


It's been proven that neanderthals are far more intelligent than we credit them for. Besides we all know they domesticated corgis before humans.


----------



## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

galacticsenator said:


> It's been proven that neanderthals are far more intelligent than we credit them for. Besides we all know they domesticated corgis before humans.


You had to drag the corgis into this, didn't you :cry


----------



## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

I don't know about women, but initial attraction is what I look for. That becomes less important as I start to fall in love though.


----------



## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

I think its true... In day to day life I have seen more evidence that supports it than I have the opposite...

The only good thing about being a loner is that I don't have that pressure to impress anyone via the attractiveness of my date cause i have no one to impress


----------



## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

I actually rejected a guy once because I thought I wasn't good-looking enough for him and I was worried his friends would make fun of him if they saw him with me.


----------



## HilarityEnsues (Oct 4, 2012)




----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

None of my exes had much of any money. They were cute though.


----------



## Glass Child (Feb 28, 2013)

I don't think all girls go for guys who have lots of friends/money. And I don't think all guys go for attractive females. 

It is mostly preference, it is just that a lot of normal preferences stick out. Personally I don't really care if my ideal bf/gf ends up being ugly or poor, if I love them I will support them.


----------



## hockey88 (May 14, 2013)

I was thinking about this. For men at least, I do not think that looks are everything. That being said, looks do play a crucial role in our attraction towards women. Of course we are going to find good looking women attractive. That doesn't mean we fall in love with every good looking girl that crosses our path. Personality and looks are what do it, together. Sure there are guys who go after girls who have a personality that fits theirs well, but at the same time is not as attractive as other girls that are willing to date them. The opposite happens also. It all depends on the guy. For me a brown haired girl, decent looking, and similar personality usually leads to attraction. I do not think it is either looks or personality that attracts one sex to the other. It's definitely a combination of both in a majority of cases. This is coming from a guy that's never been in love, but I think it is obvious if you look at any relationship. 90% of the time the two individuals are similar in hotness (or what ever you want to call it). For me it is a matter of finding that girl who is in my "league" and is pretty chill.


----------



## strugglingforhope (Jun 13, 2009)

I think it's mostly the environment we're raised in, but its impossible to rule out that other influences might be someone evolutionary, or biological in nature. A lot of what we chose in a mate is often what we're taught will give us value in society, though its hard to say the whole choice is solely on that. Most people are really unaware of how their own attraction/desire in a partner is heavily influenced by what will make them valued more as a person in society.


----------



## ashli116 (Feb 14, 2013)

If you're talking of the majority of the human population...yes!
But there are still a few out there who sincerely don't go for the shallow stuff this world is made of.


----------



## John316C (May 1, 2011)

its a statement only relative to 2 individuals. its right and wrong.


----------



## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

northstar1991 said:


> I read this interesting article (http://ht.ly/lQxSH) that talks about the reasons why it seems that men often go for looks and why women often go for status. The author believes the reasons lie not in evolutionary psychology but mostly in the environment we're raised in. *He proposes the reasons so many of us follow these patterns is mostly out of concern for how others will perceive us rather than us really preferring them. Thoughts?*


Interesting, we want to feel proud of ourselves subsequently we want to feel proud of our partners. If society gauged the quality of men and women differently, interest would shift appropriately. This is something I was convinced of a while back. Although that stirs up more questions, how and why were such values allocated in the first place? Is that the question that challenges biology?

Peer pressure tends to be powerful persuasion for both genders. When discussing your current life partner with a friend, a friend will often times ask for pictures and details on your partner and then proceed to criticizing. Some may not realize it, but I think many of us just want someone that can make us proud.

I think peer pressure can also explain why women tend to be more open about same sex attraction. I think at some point in time, homosexuality was more accepted in certain cultures and in such cases, male homosexuality was more common. A lot of people are convinced the female body is just more attractive, while I think women just don't feel the need to try and repress attraction to the same gender.


----------



## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

I crush on some girls before I even know what they look like.


----------



## percon21 (May 25, 2013)

I don't. Mostly, I just like a guy that is nice and smart.


----------



## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

maira20 said:


> I don't. Mostly, I just like a guy that is nice and smart.


tl;dr a guy that's good looking and successful.


----------



## baseballdude (May 23, 2010)

I love it that on this website, guys think they for sure about what women want then what women actually want in a guy.


----------



## CrimsonTrigger (Jun 28, 2011)

What is considered status? Is it having a lot of money? Being respected by everybody you meet? Is it having a top position at a large company? 

That's one of the issues with this question. What status is isn't so easily defined. Whenever people talk to me about status, my mind immediately goes to some guy young guy in a gray suit on the top floor of some big company. But maybe status is something different. Maybe it's just having a lot of friends. Maybe it's just having everybody you talk to like you. Can you be poor and have status? Probably. There were people at my high school who were popular but didn't have tons of money or gadgets. They were nice people who made friends with everybody. 

So I don't know. I guess women go for status and maybe men go for looks. But I don't think either is that easily defined.


----------



## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Sacrieur said:


> I crush on some girls before I even know what they look like.


Yeah, I've done that with guys too.


----------



## sleepforeverandever (Mar 18, 2013)

I'm a girl and i go for looks to be honest.
But for example status...just does things to me it's really weird.
Like at work when the CEO's come in even though they aren't psycically attractive or my type i'm attracted to them because I know they're sucessful and loaded :/ is that bad? haha


----------



## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

I don't go for status. I care more about intelligence than educational/career attainment. It's nice if a guy is ambitious in some way though.


----------



## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

I think both sexes care about looks, but other qualities factor in too. If given the choice between two people who are essentially equal as far as character goes, but one was good-looking and the other wasn't, both sexes would probably choose the good-looking one. It's just one more perk to the package.

As for status, I think it has _some_ truth behind it, but not for the reasons guys normally think of on here. Plenty of successful, popular men are genuinely good guys. They're not always cocky jerks. I don't think women necessarily go for status in and of itself, but I think men with status often have other qualities that women find attractive such as confidence, ambition, intelligence, etc. So while it seems like women are dating men entirely because they're popular and successful, it's more likely that they're dating them because of the underlying qualities that made them popular and successful in the first place.


----------



## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

I think 'success' is a better word than status. But, yes, the study does represent the reality of most dating/relationships, regardless of if the people are conscious of it. It isn't to say that there aren't exceptions, but there is plenty of judging to go around if things aren't 'normal' in this society.


----------



## northstar1991 (Oct 4, 2011)

baseballdude said:


> I love it that on this website, guys think they for sure about what women want then what women actually want in a guy.


Ikr, and I notice that often when a woman on this site says something that contradicts what some of the guys think women want it seems like those guys don't take what the women are saying into consideration.


----------



## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

Rainbat said:


> I think both sexes care about looks, but other qualities factor in too. If given the choice between two people who are essentially equal as far as character goes, but one was good-looking and the other wasn't, both sexes would probably choose the good-looking one. It's just one more perk to the package.
> 
> As for status, I think it has _some_ truth behind it, but not for the reasons guys normally think of on here. Plenty of successful, popular men are genuinely good guys. They're not always cocky jerks. I don't think women necessarily go for status in and of itself, but I think men with status often have other qualities that women find attractive such as confidence, ambition, intelligence, etc. So while it seems like women are dating men entirely because they're popular and successful, it's more likely that they're dating them because of the underlying qualities that made them popular and successful in the first place.


Good post, I have nothing to add and agree.


----------



## geepeeone (Mar 27, 2012)

One of the "immutable" things I've learned in life is that women don't really know what they want until they've fallen for it.

Any girl would fall for you if you can make her feel like a woman; the same doesn't hold as true for guys.


----------



## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

I'm honestly repulsed by the typical loud mouthed, hot popular girls. I have only had crushes on girls that are a little quirky and different.


----------



## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

A lot of people go for looks. Not just men. I also go for looks... sadly.


----------



## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

Mersault said:


> Although it is true that i could not be in a sexual relationship with a woman unless i considered her at least a bit attractive, it is also equally true that i would rather be in such a relationship with a mildly attractive (in my view) woman, rather than with a more attractive but seriously flawed in regards to personality.


this is the same for me


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

northstar1991 said:


> Ikr, and I notice that often when a woman on this site says something that contradicts what some of the guys think women want it seems like those guys don't take what the women are saying into consideration.


Because a lot of time people say what they think others want to hear or what makes them feel good about themselves.


----------



## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

Paloma M said:


> A lot of people go for looks. Not just men. I also go for looks... sadly.


Ah like the guy in your avatar... this is your taste ? :teeth


----------



## ShyDancer321 (Sep 11, 2012)

I've noticed lately that every guy I know that has a girlfriend is ridiculously good looking. I'm starting to realize that looks for guys are MUCH more important than I realized; So i'm working very hard on my style and looks now. I've been paying attention, and I have yet to see a girl of average looks or better with anyone but a really hot guy.


----------



## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

This should answer the question  That's Rupert Murdoch owner of FoX News. He's about a charming as Mr. Burns in the Simpsons


----------



## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

ShyDancer321 said:


> I've noticed lately that every guy I know that has a girlfriend is ridiculously good looking. I'm starting to realize that looks for guys are MUCH more important than I realized; So i'm working very hard on my style and looks now. I've been paying attention, and I have yet to see a girl of average looks or better with anyone but a really hot guy.


Sure, but there are exceptions....like the guy is rich and pays for all holidays with her (as example) or he is incredible confident and funny (the funny thing may be a trap however, I dont want to play the clown for women but still they wont sleep with me, but just laugh about jokes I make, nono)....

I noticed (of course I may be completly wrong with the impression) that some "older" women in my age (ca. around 35-45 seems to be the age of these women) seem to give me some looks now - and mostly they smile back if I smile at them. Reason maybe: I lost weight and get a little suntan  Also shaved  (i hate shaving)

How bout some science ??

Male facial appearance signals physical strength to women.
Fink B, Neave N, Seydel H.
Source

Department of Sociobiology/Anthropology, University of Göttingen, D-37073 Göttingen, Germany. [email protected]
Abstract

Previous studies showed that male faces with extreme features that are likely to be associated with testosterone (T) are perceived as dominant and masculine. Women were reported to prefer masculinized male faces, as they may consider T markers to be an "honest" indication of good health. However, it is also likely that female preferences for certain male faces arise from the fact that dominant- and masculine-looking males are signaling characteristics which may be beneficial in intrasexual conflict, and thereby also indicate potential achievers of high status, an important factor in female mate selection. Although numerous studies were built on this assumption, nothing is known about the relationship between perceived facial dominance and physical strength in men. We measured hand-grip strength, as a measure of overall physical strength, in a sample of 32 male students, and recorded age, body weight, and height. Seventy-nine women rated facial images of these men for dominance, masculinity, and attractiveness. After controlling for age and body weight, hand-grip strength was found to correlate significantly positively with all three measures. The present data thus support the supposition that a male's physical strength is also signaled via facial characteristics of dominance and masculinity, which are considered attractive by women.


----------



## soulless (Dec 18, 2010)

I look for a geeky girl with a cute personality who isn't necessarily stereotypically beautiful


----------

