# Friends hang out without me. (and try to hide it?)



## Delton17 (Nov 10, 2017)

I'm constantly catching my friends denying to make plans with me, saying they're busy, or just wanna relax at home, and then I go on social media and find out they are hanging out with my other friends. We're all friends, I think..? We talk to each other every day at school (high school) and pretty much hang all day at school together. But when school's over they hang out without me, and on the weekends they're all "busy" hanging out without me.

Every time I see they're hanging out without me I get angry. I probably shouldn't but I can't control it. Try as I might, I just get angrier and angrier the more I see of their plans on social media.

I've confronted one friend about it, and was met harshly. Told it "wasn't my problem" and that it's "none of my business" and they're allowed to hang out without me. I suppose that's true, and I don't disagree, they are 100% allowed to hang out without me.

I don't think I can remember the last time someone asked to hang out with me. I always ask to hang out with other people.

Just this weekend, for instance. I asked a friend a week ago if she wanted to see a show at my school's theater. Two of my friends are in the show too. She said she'd have to ask her parents, and make sure she didn't have any other plans but she said all was good and she'd let me know if it was ok. I asked the day before the show (yesterday) if she could go or not and she said she was "busy". I looked on social media later and found out that she went to see the show with other people. I was a little mad but, I asked that night if she wanted to hang out tomorrow instead since she was too "busy" to see the show. She said "idk I'll find out" and I never heard back. This morning I asked if she could hang or not and she said she was "busy" again. An hour later she's hanging out with another friend of mine going out to eat and chilling at the plaza.

I'm frustrated, upset, angry, and I don't want to do this anymore. It happens all the time and I've asked why and was met with the "not on purpose" thing. It really does seem like it's on purpose though. Is there something wrong with me? Am I not good enough? 

Thanks for hearing me out...


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

They are not your friends. They are possibly trying to exclude you from their group.


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## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

Seems like you have yourself some fake friends


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## Delton17 (Nov 10, 2017)

versikk said:


> They are not your friends. They are possibly trying to exclude you from their group.


See that's what I think too! But they keep saying it's just coincidence and they're allowed to do whatever they want. "It's not on purpose"


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

Delton17 said:


> See that's what I think too! But they keep saying it's just coincidence and they're allowed to do whatever they want. "It's not on purpose"


Do you need statistical evidence or some kind of groupthink peer pressure to make you realise they're buttholes?

When friends don't invite you, it's because their lazy and egotistical.
When friends don't invite you and then lie about the proceedings, it's because they aren't your friends.

Personally I don't know why these kind of people exist; nevertheless, they do.


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## littlecupcake (Apr 14, 2015)

They are not your friends. if I were you I would cut ties with them.They are lying to you. And they are doing this on purpose just to hurt you. I feel your pain. You deserve better.


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## MoodyNocturnal (Nov 18, 2017)

I experienced the same thing. However, it is not with close friends, but with work "friends". They welcomed me warmly when I was new in the office, "adopted" me to their squad but gradually dumped me by not inviting me for lunch, shading me on group chats, gradually dumping me without explaining why. Later I'd learn that I was pinpointed to be the cause why one of the girls was fired (when in fact it was her poor performance that caused that).

I suggest leave it. If they don't want your company, do not force it. It just would seem that you are desperate to become a part of them when you are not completely welcome. 

I am not sure if you would agree with me. But starting that day, I learned to enjoy my own company. If there are people who are interested to hang out or know you, welcome them. Otherwise, enjoy your time on your own. :smile2:


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## flyingMint (Aug 31, 2015)

What exactly made your friends? Do they get something from you at school? I feel like they only hang out with you because theres some kind of trade-off. Do you help them with homework or something, or whatever it might be? If so, stop doing that and stop talking to them.


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