# 3 months, No sex



## soma (Nov 10, 2003)

Ok, I've been with my GF for 3 months now and we've never gone beyond making out and hard petting. Thoughts?


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## ott (Aug 2, 2005)

soma said:


> Ok, I've been with my GF for 3 months now and we've never gone beyond making out and hard petting. Thoughts?


You could try talking with her about it? If you're close enough to discuss the subject you're probably close enough to go further as well. And vice versa. Doesn't sound like such a bad situation to me though (actually I'd give an arm to be in it). I think I would prefer waiting a while too.

I have no idea why I think I can give advice on this subject. It's like a blind man giving directions... I should go to sleep instead.


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## soma (Nov 10, 2003)

Yes, I'm quite please with what we have, but... things are starting to stagnate. I don't want things to stay this way forever...


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## AliBaba (Nov 16, 2005)

If I were you the next time you two lovebirds are making out/heavy petting I would say something like:

"Do you wanna have sex????"

You could always substitute "have sex" with make love/f***/etc. Whatever you feel is the most appropriate. After 3 months, I'm guessing you both are ready to explode like volcanos. So have fun. :banana 


Matt


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## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

Do guys really need sex after three months? What if your girlfriend wants to wait until marriage. Could a guy last _that_ long?


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## itsmemaggi (Sep 26, 2005)

soma said:


> Ok, I've been with my GF for 3 months now and we've never gone beyond making out and hard petting. Thoughts?


She could have some serious sexual fears of "going all the way." Just a thought. It's more common than you think.

xoxo
Maggi


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## Urkidding (Oct 12, 2005)

soma said:


> Ok, I've been with my GF for 3 months now and we've never gone beyond making out and hard petting. Thoughts?


Doesn't sound like a problem to me, but then I'm not you.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

NightinGale said:


> Do guys really need sex after three months? What if your girlfriend wants to wait until marriage. Could a guy last _that_ long?


I dun think I could wait till marriage thats for sure.


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## ott (Aug 2, 2005)

NightinGale said:


> Do guys really need sex after three months? What if your girlfriend wants to wait until marriage. Could a guy last _that_ long?


I would want to wait until I was completely comfortable around the girl. I have no idea how long that takes, but a few months doesn't sound so bad. If she has a reason to wait a bit longer I'd probably be OK with that.

Waiting until marriage isn't something I would easily accept though. I have no moral (or other) reasons to wait until that, and marriage is something I want to hold off for a long time into the relationship(several years), if at all.


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## Kardax (Dec 29, 2004)

My thoughts? I've waited 25 years so far, I can wait 25 more (though obviously I would prefer not to). 3 months is nothing 

She has her pace. You should ask her how she feels about waiting until marriage (as if it was your idea), and guage her reaction. If she says "that's the way it should be", there ya go 

-Ryan


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Soma,

You have to take her views into consideration. There is nothing wrong with not going "all the way" in a relationship. It gives you the chance to get to know her better. Love isn't entirely physical.


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## James of Maine (Sep 8, 2005)

My (then future) wife made me wait 5 or 6 months after we had started dating.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

I wonder if it would ever be the other way around, a guy making a girl wait. O wait that would never happen lol.


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## theysee (Nov 15, 2003)

...


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## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

I think its up to her, if you guys are comfortable talking about it, just ask her.


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## pixiedust (Aug 11, 2005)

Soma, how old are you guys? If she's young and inexperienced she might not be ready. Either way, if you're mature enough for sex then you have to be mature enough to talk about it. So if you want it, you're going to have to bring it up to her.



Noca said:


> I wonder if it would ever be the other way around, a guy making a girl wait. O wait that would never happen lol.


Actually, I had two boyfriends make me wait. So it does happen.


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## On the way (Feb 9, 2006)

pixiedust said:


> If she's young and inexperienced, she might not be ready.


I was thinking that, too. she might even be a virgin...who knows.

The question I have is, have you made your moves?


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

It might just be because you've never initiated it. Next time you two are getting hot and bothered, try to take it to the next step and she if she stops you.

After that, I think you should just straight out ask her what the deal is. After 3 months, you two should be comfortable enough to talk about this without it being a big deal.


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## suppressed (Apr 19, 2005)

Gumaro said:


> three months is way too long to be in a relationship and not have sex yet


:haha
I think the majority of men and women may always differ on that .

If you guys have never discussed it before, and it is something that is bothering you, then you *really* need to just talk to her about it.. it can't hurt anything really (aslong as you respect her opinons on it ) .It may be alot of things ..She may be not ready and assumes your ok with it because you haven't brought it up or tryed anything when you guys were "petting", or maybe she really wants to !! but doesn't know if you do and doesn't want to initiate it , or maybe she just doesn't want to initiate it regardless :stu :lol

I know with my husband we waited about 5-6 months before doing anything but it wasn't because I didn't want to :lol , I was waiting for him to make his move! (He really kicks himself for that HAH! )

Talk to her  , thats the best way to solve ANYTHING


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## OnyxHeart (Jun 13, 2005)

suppressed said:


> I know with my husband we waited about 5-6 months before doing anything but it wasn't because I didn't want to :lol , I was waiting for him to make his move! (He really kicks himself for that HAH! )


Its 2006- IMHO, its high time women stop waiting for the guy to make his moves


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## pixiedust (Aug 11, 2005)

bluemonday said:


> suppressed said:
> 
> 
> > I know with my husband we waited about 5-6 months before doing anything but it wasn't because I didn't want to :lol , I was waiting for him to make his move! (He really kicks himself for that HAH! )
> ...


 IMHO, it's high time men stop leaving as soon as the woman gives in to having sex but that ain't gonna happen. Both gender have their burdens to bare, learn to live with it.


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## roya (Nov 12, 2005)

dont rush it dude, sometimes sex can ruin a good relationship, as in my case.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

bluemonday said:


> suppressed said:
> 
> 
> > I know with my husband we waited about 5-6 months before doing anything but it wasn't because I didn't want to :lol , I was waiting for him to make his move! (He really kicks himself for that HAH! )
> ...


Yeah no kidding.


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## Ktgurl (Dec 6, 2005)

do not pressure her to have sex with you. my ex did that and i resented him for it cause i wasn't ready but i felt like i needed to cause he wanted to and i wanted him to be happy in the relationship. let her go at her own pace. different people feel comfortable with having sex at different times.


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## AliBaba (Nov 16, 2005)

I agree with those that think communication is the key. I know it's tough with SA and all but talk to the girl. After months of ramming your tongues down each others' throats and groping each other I'd say a convo about sex is not out of line.

I think we can all agree that the terms "petting", "heavy petting", and "light petting" have really GOT TO GO. For one thing, it makes me really disgusted with myself whenever I'm around a dog or a cat. And for another thing, sometimes it makes me feel like I'm treating a human being like an animal. Or, perhaps it's just me.  


Matt


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## suppressed (Apr 19, 2005)

bluemonday said:


> suppressed said:
> 
> 
> > I know with my husband we waited about 5-6 months before doing anything but it wasn't because I didn't want to :lol , I was waiting for him to make his move! (He really kicks himself for that HAH! )
> ...


 What year it is, is irrelevant to wether you want to make the first move or not ... :roll If I was a man I still wouldn't have wanted to either .. I just didn't feel comfortable making the first move .. so what !?


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## AdamCanada (Dec 6, 2003)

NightinGale said:


> Do guys really need sex after three months? What if your girlfriend wants to wait until marriage. Could a guy last _that_ long?


not me


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## Ktgurl (Dec 6, 2005)

AdamCanada said:


> NightinGale said:
> 
> 
> > Do guys really need sex after three months? What if your girlfriend wants to wait until marriage. Could a guy last _that_ long?
> ...


so if you can't wait that long, would you just dump her?

that's what scares me, that guys need sex and if they don't get it, they're dump you for the next girl who'll sleep with them.


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## heckyll (Mar 27, 2006)

Ktgurl said:


> that's what scares me, that guys need sex and if they don't get it, they're dump you for the next girl who'll sleep with them.


What bothers me about it is going into the relationship not knowing about this sort of thing ahead of time. There's nothing wrong if both partners, going into the whole thing, know what their preferences are in regards to sex.

I know for a fact that if I someday find a girlfriend, I'd better know BEFORE going into a relationship whether she's the type who waits until marriage or not. Otherwise, it results in these kinds of ****ty complications.


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

NightinGale said:


> Do guys really need sex after three months? What if your girlfriend wants to wait until marriage. Could a guy last _that_ long?


After being alone for this long I don't really care about sex that much anymore. Sure it would be nice, but I would much rather have companionship, someone to talk to and someone to hold. I'm sure its different for everyone but after being deprived of the simplest kinds of affection for so many years my outlook on sex has changed. I agree with what was said about being thankful for what you have, lots of us would give anything to be in your place right now.


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## AliBaba (Nov 16, 2005)

Once I waited longer than 3 months. But that was aloong time ago/my 1st girlfriend/we were both virgins. Since then I haven't dated a woman that wanted to wait more than a month. But I don't think it would really be that big a deal. There are plenty of other ways for a man to be satisfied/satisfy himself. 

Then again, I'm probably a "sexual camel" much like George Costanza. So I can only speak for myself.


Matt


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## heckyll (Mar 27, 2006)

Lonelyguy said:


> After being alone for this long I don't really care about sex that much anymore. Sure it would be nice, but I would much rather have companionship, someone to talk to and someone to hold. I'm sure its different for everyone but after being deprived of the simplest kinds of affection for so many years my outlook on sex has changed. I agree with what was said about being thankful for what you have, lots of us would give anything to be in your place right now.


That's exactly how I am!

I'm much more interested in having deep, loving companionship overall than engaging in sexual intercourse all the time. By no means am I saying sex isn't or can't be a part of that - but sex BY ITSELF is relatively unimportant to me. I'd be thrilled to merely cuddle on a hammock outside on a sunny summer day, heheheh...


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## Argo (May 1, 2005)

Ktgurl said:


> so if you can't wait that long, would you just dump her?
> 
> that's what scares me, that guys need sex and if they don't get it, they're dump you for the next girl who'll sleep with them.


If that was even an issue then it'd be clear the two of us were totally unsuited for each other, so the sooner we end it the better for us both. If waiting until marriage is important to you you should probably focus your attentions on a guy who's very religious. Why feel bad about breaking up with a guy if his values are so alien to yours?


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## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

I'd cuddle with you on a hammock any day, Heckyll and Lonelyguy. In fact, I'd have a menage-cuddle-trois with you guys.


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## OnyxHeart (Jun 13, 2005)

NightinGale said:


> I'd cuddle with you on a hammock any day, Heckyll and Lonelyguy. In fact, I'd have a menage-cuddle-trois with you guys.


 :lol

Pixiedust, Suppressed: Please accept my apologies for being a male chauvinist pig; you can punch me any time you like :twak


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## Maseur Shado (Jun 7, 2005)

I wonder if there shouldn't be some sort of business cards printed up that people could pass out to each other on dates regarding when they consider it necessary to have sex. It would help clear up a lot of this confusion that goes on.



> Its 2006- IMHO, its high time women stop waiting for the guy to make his moves


I do agree with this, but only for attractive women. Ugly women...well, we should wait until we've accrued at least $5 million before even contemplating such a notion.



> I wonder if it would ever be the other way around, a guy making a girl wait. O wait that would never happen lol.


I had to wait five years. And it never happened. Beat that. Wait...you can't. Victory is mine (but oh, how hollow!). :banana


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## gejj (Jun 10, 2005)

im kinda surprised people are looking at 3 months and no sex yet as like way to long to wait. I dunno to me it doesn't seem that long at all. If i met a nice cool girl who wanted to wait till marriage id support it. I know most guys probably wouldn't think like that, but basically not everyone is ready for stuff like that after just a month or 2. Talk about it and hear what she has to say about it, she might not be ready for it yet.


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## suppressed (Apr 19, 2005)

bluemonday said:


> Pixiedust, Suppressed: Please accept my apologies for being a male chauvinist pig; you can punch me any time you like :twak


accepted :lol :rub


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## On the way (Feb 9, 2006)

gejj said:


> im kinda surprised people are looking at 3 months and no sex yet as like way to long to wait.


agreed. 3 mos. is not a big deal.


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

NightinGale said:


> I'd cuddle with you on a hammock any day, Heckyll and Lonelyguy. In fact, I'd have a menage-cuddle-trois with you guys.


Awww....:mushy


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## Veggie1 (Jan 12, 2006)

LittleZion said:


> gejj said:
> 
> 
> > im kinda surprised people are looking at 3 months and no sex yet as like way to long to wait.
> ...


 :agree


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

Why are people saying three months is so long?


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Gumaro said:


> Ktgurl said:
> 
> 
> > so if you can't wait that long, would you just dump her?
> ...


If that were true, then sex is too high a priority. Physicality comes and goes - love and commitment are long-term.


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## AppleEatsWorm (Apr 2, 2005)

I wouldn't necessarily mind waiting a fair amount of time, but I definitely wouldn't wait until marriage, because then being able to have sex would become a _reason_ to get married. whether you say it is or not, it would be a factor. and I don't think that's a good basis for deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone.


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## Karla (Dec 26, 2005)

what is the big deal about sex? would you honestly through away a great relationship because the girl had morals?


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## Argo (May 1, 2005)

Karla said:


> what is the big deal about sex? would you honestly through away a great relationship because the girl had morals?


Couldn't this be spun another way?

"What is the big deal about sex? would you honestly throw away a great relationship because the guy has desires?"

Anyway, I think the crux here is that if you're talking about two people, one of whom doesn't want sex before marriage and the other who does, then you're talking about two people with very different value-systems. So different that they're probably not that compatible. Not everyone is. In those cases, it's probably best to separate on good terms and find someone closer in synch with your beliefs.


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## Temari (May 22, 2005)

How did this even become a debate about whether or not to wait until marriage to have sex (and whether a guy would wait for a girl that long)? :con I don't think that was even a factor in the thread-starter's post.

As far as I'm concerned, if it's a relationship that really does involve love - real love, not just attraction or affection - then 3 months should not, whatsoever, be too long to wait before having sex. Sex is important in most romantic relationships but it's definitely not _the_ most important aspect.

I read something interesting about this in Cosmopolitan magizine a year or two ago where it said that making a guy wait for sex up to about 6 months into the relationship is perfectly reasonable. Keep in mind that this is basically the printed version of "Sex in the City" and always has articles on how to have better sex!! I'm not saying that they are the final authority on this subject but it's about as far as you can get from a "prudish" magazine.

I'm actually stunned at how many guys think that 3 months is too long. And Gumaro, who said that not having had sex by 3 months means there's no physical compatibility?

Sex would be a big deal for me and I highly doubt I would ever have sex with a guy that I hadn't been seeing for several months and who I was really serious about (and who was serious about me). It's disturbing to me that guys here who claim to have SA don't seem to have any understanding or patience with this type of thing which I believe, in a lot of cases, is another aspect of social anxiety (suffered by girls much more so than guys). When you hear all the stories of girls getting used just for sex and then being left in the dust, can you seriously blame us for being hesitant and wanting to wait a while longer? But I guess you'll never understand that and it seems some of you aren't willing to even try to understand it.

As for me, if a guy dumped me because I wouldn't put out the moment they wanted me to, I'd say *good riddance and don't let the door hit you on the *** on the way out.* :banana


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## Argo (May 1, 2005)

Temari said:


> How did this even become a debate about whether or not to wait until marriage to have sex (and whether a guy would wait for a girl that long)? :con I don't think that was even a factor in the thread-starter's post.


It's the internet; no one knows what the hell they're doing.



> As far as I'm concerned, if it's a relationship that really does involve love - real love, not just attraction or affection - then 3 months should not, whatsoever, be too long to wait before having sex.


I agree that 3 months isn't too long; I'd certainly have gone for it by then, but if the girl wasn't ready I wouldn't have pressed it.



> I read something interesting about this in Cosmopolitan magizine a year or two ago where it said that making a guy wait for sex up to about 6 months into the relationship is perfectly reasonable. Keep in mind that this is basically the printed version of "Sex in the City" and always has articles on how to have better sex!! I'm not saying that they are the final authority on this subject but it's about as far as you can get from a "prudish" magazine.


Cosmo's like the internet; they're all over the place and don't know what the hell they're doing. I'll confess that after six months I'd probably be feeling that this relationship was rather stagnant if we hadn't done anything yet.



> It's disturbing to me that guys here who claim to have SA don't seem to have any understanding or patience with this type of thing which I believe, in a lot of cases, is another aspect of social anxiety (suffered by girls much more so than guys). When you hear all the stories of girls getting used just for sex and then being left in the dust, can you seriously blame us for being hesitant and wanting to wait a while longer? But I guess you'll never understand that and it seems some of you aren't willing to even try to understand it.


I'm not sure where you got that. I'm all for people understanding each other, as well as associating with _like-minded _ people. I'm not in favor of getting temperamentally different people and forcing one of them to change what he/she is to conform to the demands of the other person.



> As for me, if a guy dumped me because I wouldn't put out the moment they wanted me to, I'd say *good riddance and don't let the door hit you on the *** on the way out.*


Exactly. This is what dating is about, isn't it? Looking through what's out there and finding the person that's best for you.


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## sparkations (Nov 26, 2003)

I think that sex is an expression of your love for one another. It's an important part of the relationship. 

Honestly, if the girl doesn't want to have sex with you, it could mean that she is not that into you. But then again, you don't know whether she actually does or not. I agree that you have to bring it up with her. Just talk to her about it. 3 months is a while for a couple who is planning on keeping a long term serious relationship. 

I had an incident happen to me a while ago where a guy I was dating asked me to have sex with him. I declined, because I realized that I didn't really like the guy that much to give it up for him (I'm a virgin), so I wasn't looking for anything serious with him. It was the second time we were fooling around(making out, petting) when he brought up the question. We had been dating for close to two months. I think he lost interest in me when I declined too, because I broke up with him the next week (I told him I didn't want anything serious). He said that he was going to tell me the same thing. (He was going to break up with me too).


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## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

Temari said:


> How did this even become a debate about whether or not to wait until marriage to have sex (and whether a guy would wait for a girl that long)?


It was I! (Look on the first page of the thread).

Dialogue from "Everybody Loves Raymond":

Female co-worker: "Before we sleep with you, women want to feel close to you."

Male co-worker: "And I say you'll feel close to me when you are SLEEPING with me.

Ta-da. Men associate sex with love, and women associate sex with, um, sex. Neither is right or wrong, just different.


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## Vincenzo (Sep 24, 2005)

General love, like the love for a friend or family member, or being _in_ love?

The latter definitely applies to sex, when it comes down to it. Of that there is no question.

(((PS: Your inbox will soon be improved one hundred fold with a belated PM from yours truly. I'd already written one but in an act of self censorship I deleted it.)))


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## Temari (May 22, 2005)

Gumaro said:


> i meant what if you get married to someone that you didnt have sex with and you find out that you two are not sexually compatible.


Okay, then I guess I misinterpreted what you were saying. However, out of curiosity, how would two people be "sexually incompatible" as opposed to a lack of physical attraction? You would know whether there's a physical attraction early on in the relationship without having had sex. So as long as the groom is really a male and the bride is really a female (assuming it's a straight marriage!), how could not be sexually compatible? Or do you mean the sex could be really bad? :lol Yeah, I suppose that would put a strain on a marriage.



Argo said:


> I'm not in favor of getting temperamentally different people and forcing one of them to change what he/she is to conform to the demands of the other person.


Neither am I. But I don't necessarily think that because a girl is hesitant to have sex the moment the guy wants to means they are temperamentally different. There's always going to be conflict/difference of opinion in a relationship because a relationship involves two individuals who have their own personalities.

I realize Argo that you weren't saying that you think two people have to be exactly the same (because that's never going to happen) in order to be in a relationship but I'm just saying that I don't think a difference of opinion on this topic means the relationship is doomed. But if the girl (or guy) wants to wait until marriage for religious reasons while the other does not, then I agree that it shows a gap between the couple's values and would probably cause other problems in the relationship as well.

What I said before was more about waiting three months though, not about waiting until marriage. Personally, I wouldn't wait until marriage but I don't think I'd want to do the deed before 3 months (which doesn't mean I wouldn't want any physical contact - just not actual sex).



Argo said:


> > As for me, if a guy dumped me because I wouldn't put out the moment they wanted me to, I'd say *good riddance and don't let the door hit you on the *** on the way out.*
> 
> 
> Exactly. This is what dating is about, isn't it? Looking through what's out there and finding the person that's best for you.


Yes, I guess that is what dating is - not that I have any personal experience with it. At this rate I'll never find the person who's best for me since guys don't seem interested (even when I make "moves" on them). :stu And crap, this turned into a long post.


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## AdamCanada (Dec 6, 2003)

Ktgurl said:


> AdamCanada said:
> 
> 
> > NightinGale said:
> ...


Yea i would, otherwise there isn't much point in it for the man. When we put in time with girl we expect to get back what we put in. Im not saying that we don't enjoy putting time in with a girl to, but we are doing it for a reason.

i don't really plan on getting married anytime soon no matter how i feel about the girl, so i have a different pov.


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## Temari (May 22, 2005)

AdamCanada said:


> Ktgurl said:
> 
> 
> > AdamCanada said:
> ...


No offense dude, but you're giving guys a bad name! :lol There isn't much point in it for the man if they're not getting laid?! Wtf? Why not just see a prostitute then? You just give them the money and then get what you need... No strings attached, it would be much less complicated that way, wouldn't it?

Get back what you put in? :con Is sex the only thing you see a girl as being able to give you? If that's what you believe then I feel sorry for you.

Btw, it may sound as though I'm freaking out here but I'm not. I just find this pov kind of... :twak :lol


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## AdamCanada (Dec 6, 2003)

Temari said:


> No offense dude, but you're giving guys a bad name! :lol There isn't much point in it for the man if they're not getting laid?! Wtf? Why not just see a prostitute then? You just give them the money and then get what you need... No strings attached, it would be much less complicated that way, wouldn't it?
> 
> Get back what you put in? :con Is sex the only thing you see a girl as being able to give you? If that's what you believe then I feel sorry for you.
> 
> Btw, it may sound as though I'm freaking out here but I'm not. I just find this pov kind of... :twak :lol


and I said we enjoy putting the time in. as in being supportive and going out to have fun. spending time together, all that crap, but just that stuff doesn't cut it for me, rather just go fishing or somthing.

im not really gunna argue with you about it, we are not the same person.

edit: wait you are a female right? cause i thought you were a sensitive male at first, which is why i didn't wanna argue.


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## AdamCanada (Dec 6, 2003)

SilentThunder said:


> AdamCanada said:
> 
> 
> > Ktgurl said:
> ...


yea, i don't care that much, there is also no expression when typing on a disscussion board.

sorry if i made it sound like i was talking on behalf of all guys. i wasn't. i meant we as in guys like me, which also most of the guys i know.

you also have no idea who i am, and also the experiences ive had.

edit: well wait a minute here, im just gunna clear this up. im not the cuddley type , if i could find a girl who enjoyed doing somewhat of the same types of things as me, that would be great without the sex, but most girls don't like the things that i do and i don't like the things they do. I do like to have sex though and if im spending time with a girl doing the stuff she likes and i hate, i expect to to get somthing back that i like, and sex is one of them.


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

Personally, I expect sex after the first date. Especially, if I pay for the dinner and open the doors and such. If after the first week there is no sex, then I will dump the woman and tell all my friends to avoid her at all costs. Also, if the sex is bad or gets boring I have to dump her immediately. It just isn't worth my time...

Not having sex with your partner is avoidance behavior and associated with APD!

And yes girls we can tell when you are faking it and we really don't care. </chauvinistic pig perspective>

I'm joking of course and having some fun with some of the more outrageous stereotypes. :lol


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## AdamCanada (Dec 6, 2003)

Prodigal_Son said:


> Personally, I expect sex after the first date. Especially, if I pay for the dinner and open the doors and such. If after the first week there is no sex, then I will dump the woman and tell all my friends to avoid her at all costs. Also, if the sex is bad or gets boring I have to dump her immediately. It just isn't worth my time...
> 
> Not having sex with your partner is avoidance behavior and associated with APD!
> 
> ...


:lol were you aiming that at me??


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

Nah, not aiming it at anybody just having some fun and joking around. Maybe scaring people into thinking I'm a total jerk for a few seconds.


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## AdamCanada (Dec 6, 2003)

Prodigal_Son said:


> Nah, not aiming it at anybody just having some fun and joking around. Maybe scaring people into thinking I'm a total jerk for a few seconds.


ok, i was just thinking it was and at the same time i was listening to areosmith - what it takes

thought it was kind of funny

you know, there are alot of women that expect sex to, its not just guys(like me)


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

I agree with Adam for the most part. I just think his original comment was poorly worded and came off a bit more harsh than what was probably intended. Sometimes things don't always translate into writing the way we hear them in our head. But I think I get the point he was trying to make with that post.

We are all programed to seek out relationships with those we find attractive/desirable. If you're a student, would you seek out the ugliest girl in class to persue a relationship with? Of course not. You're gonna go after the highly attractive girl because you're sexually attracted to her. And when you're sexually attracted to someone, it's only natural to want to be intimate with them.

So now you start a relationship with that girl, but she isn't ready to be intimate. It would be reasonable enough to wait around for her to become more comfortable. But after a significant amount of time passes, it's kind of like "ok, I got into this relationship because I really like this girl and I'm sexually attracted to her. But why should I continue to invest myself in this relationship if she's not fulfilling my desires?"

I think that's the point Adam was getting at. If you're not getting what you want out of it, then how is it any different than just being friends, or hanging out with the 'guys.' He can be doing something he really likes, like fishing or whatever, than wasting his time persuing a relationship that is going nowhere.


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## Buerhle (Mar 6, 2006)

adamcanada wrote:



> you know, there are alot of women that expect sex to, its not just guys(like me)


 (I think) this is true. :hide


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

AdamCanada said:


> you know, there are alot of women that expect sex to, its not just guys(like me)


Wouldn't fit the stereotype as well though.


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## AdamCanada (Dec 6, 2003)

Futures said:


> I agree with Adam for the most part. I just think his original comment was poorly worded and came off a bit more harsh than what was probably intended.


yea, the wording was bad, especially for this board.



Jdog said:


> adamcanada wrote:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


to be honest thats what i was thinking when i typed that. :hide

but then again, go to a college bar and tell me girls don't expect sex, they put 10 times more effort into getting laid then any guy does, they are just extremely selective........edit: unless they are drunk


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## AliBaba (Nov 16, 2005)

Have we heard from Soma lately? You know, the guy who originally started this thread looking for advice??? I think it would be hilarious if they ended up sleeping together a couple hours after his first post while the thread grew to five pages containing comments like:

-something about it being the 21st Century and women should be making the first move.

-something about how men leave immediately after the woman "gives up" sex.

-something about how women who wait for sex "actually have morals".

-many things about being "just grateful for what you have" (I think abused women everywhere need to take up this attitude   ) :eyes


So really, Soma, what happened??? I wanna know.


Matt


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## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

I like all the mini essays we've written on sex, especially yours, Temari. I had to take a nap half way through.

Tell us what happened Soma!


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

I think Soma got laid, and afterwards he had so much confidence that his SA disappeared. :lol :nw


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## Thunder (Nov 5, 2003)

Futures said:


> I think Soma got laid, and afterwards he had so much confidence that his SA disappeared. :lol :nw


Never worked for me and I have five kids. :cig


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## workman (Mar 5, 2004)

maybe they were so pent up that it is still going on. when was this thread started?


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## Temari (May 22, 2005)

NightinGale said:


> I like all the mini essays we've written on sex, especially yours, Temari. I had to take a nap half way through.


Uh, is that an insult or a compliment? :con

Yeah, my stupid posts have a tendency to become quite long. I guess essays come naturally to me after 10 gazillion years of school (or so it feels).

I don't even know why I bother to post in a thread like this. It's not like I'm going to influence anyone's opinion or perspective. I'm thinking maybe I'll just become a nun. It's sounding more appealing at this point. :afr


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## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

Ah! Sorry if I offended you Temari, don't take it personally I was just joking around. :lol


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## microbe (Apr 3, 2006)

if she's not ready to have sex, but you really like the girl, and she really likes you...uh, self-medicate in the meantime my friend. *wink*


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## instil (Aug 19, 2005)

3 months is a long time to date and not have sex, unless you only see each other like twice a month


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

soma said:


> Yes, I'm quite please with what we have, but... things are starting to stagnate. I don't want things to stay this way forever...


Do you want sex or do you have feelings for her and as a guy more than likely you will say you have feeling but that's not your brain talking. Once the sex comes and things are stagnant then what are you going to do? Realize it is more than recreational and if you simply want it as recreation tell her first, instead of being an A-hole.


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