# Breaking the Ice With a New Roommate



## bookworm17 (Feb 3, 2008)

So I signed myself up to live at school this coming semester, and chose my room based on the fact that there was a high probability I wouldn't have a roommate. Of course, fortune was not with me and I do have a roommate. I just want to make sure that I start things off right with this roomie, since my last roommate relationship turned out to be a fiasco.

I move in this Saturday but I want to make contact before that. I can either call my roomie or email her. I'd prefer to avoid the phone at all costs, but I'm a wreck over what to put in the email. What should I say? How do I introduce myself in an email?

And once I move in, how do I break the ice? I never managed to do this with my roommate from last year. It was like we both had these cones of silence around us. I found it excruciating and I don't want to go through that again.

Any advice would be much appreciated!


----------



## britisharrow (Jun 18, 2009)

I join you in being dissatisfied with having a room-mate - I do not see what benefit it can possibly have in this day and age, to put two strangers in a room together as if they're little kids sharing a bedroom. Fortunately in my country we don't have this, it was all single rooms when I lived in the campus accommodation.

If it happened to me, and I was put in a room with someone, they had better be on my wavelength. If they're even shyier than I am, and give one word answers to my obvious attempts to communicate, I'd leave. Sharing an elevator with such people is awkward enough - they most likely have no personality or are also suffering from social anxiety.

That having been said, this doesn't have to be the beginning of a bad situation - it may actually be fun and beneficial. Remember that the success of the last room mate scenario will not dictate this one, what I would suggest is to e-mail and as soon as possible find some common ground, ANYTHING.

I don't care if it's that you both have the same bag, both listen to Frank Sinatra, or have both been to Japan. Ask questions and find similarities, then there will never be awkwardness because you will always have something to revert back to talking about.

This will also help you overcome your social anxiety. I hope you don't end up stuck with some loser who doesn't drink, doesn't like music, and doesn't talk. Such people annoy me, and this is now turning into a discourse on my own life so I'll stop.

Just always remember this, a taxi driver told me this when I broke down in tears in his cab over my problems: no one is better than you. So this person whoever it is will be glad to have you as a room mate.


----------



## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

Alcohol


----------



## britisharrow (Jun 18, 2009)

VanDamMan said:


> Alcohol


Yes.


----------



## Game 7 (Dec 23, 2009)

Yeah, just be as friendly as you can. Maybe say something along the lines of how you hope you guys can become friends, and if your personalities are too different, then hope you can both get along well enough to make the whole room mate thing a positive experience. I'm sure you're room mate was hoping to also get a room alone, too, so he/she is likely going through the same anticipation anxiety.
Maybe bring a "house" warming gift, like a bottle of wine or other alcohol, etc.


----------

