# Anyone work at a place that will hire me to do basically nothing?



## k_wifler (Sep 27, 2006)

And also wouldn't mind taking me to work with you if you need a car to get to work? Also could help me find an apartment?
That would be great, thanks.

I can work a computer. Mobile devices a little. No experience doing anything. No stinky stuff! No standing all day. No college. No heavy lifting. Not too polite. No noisy places. No working alone isolated.

Hmm... well that doesn't sound very good...

I thought about being a greeter at wal-mart, but I live all the way across town from there.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Security guard.


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## k_wifler (Sep 27, 2006)

Heeeyyyy my dad was a security guard...
Must be in the genes, eh?

When can I start?


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## HenDoggy (Jul 26, 2014)

sell organs? or one of those people that test experimental drugs for side effects?


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

nubly said:


> Security guard.


This job is easy to get in NYC.


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## HenDoggy (Jul 26, 2014)

you can also sell plasma


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

It is called political militancy, kid.


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

HenDoggy said:


> sell organs? or one of those people that test experimental drugs for side effects?


Or sell sperm, he will get paid for masturbating.


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

nubly said:


> Security guard.












I beg to disagree.


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## k_wifler (Sep 27, 2006)

bruised said:


> Dude, it sounds like you want a fantasy where you get paid to do nothing. That's not a job. Are you a spoiled only child?


I have SEVERE health issues, thanks for noticing. :fall

Oooh I thought of one: pressing the GO button on a conveyor belt at, like, a factory or something. How do I get a job like that?


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## BlueDay (May 6, 2014)

Politician.


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## k_wifler (Sep 27, 2006)

HenDoggy said:


> you can also sell plasma


I gave 12 vials of blood in the last 30 days, just for testing. 
Sorry but I think I'll hold on to what little blood I have left.
Also organs... Plus, college students are growing functioning human organs in labs all over the world, often secretly, right now. Whoever made it illegal is just delaying the inevitable.
@BlueDay, know why a lot of politicians were actors first (USA)? Actors have to memorize lines and read scripts, and politicians have to read a HUGE amount, or pretend that they did... Also helps with popularity... Anyways, who would want to help run my campaign? My political views (solutions) are terribly unorthodox (solve problems).
@M0rbid, hard to tell if you're trolling or not, you sick ****, but I may be moving to the east coast pretty soon, probably the midwest, but maybe near NY. I'm not tall or fat, so I don't see why they would want to hire me.

Okaaaaayyy, so far I've got
- greeter at walmart
1. Stand around looking tough. - @nubly
2. sell your body. - @HenDoggy and @sajs
3. professional liar - @BlueDay

More! More!


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

Cam boy or gigolo


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## HellCell (Jul 8, 2014)

k_wifler said:


> And also wouldn't mind taking me to work with you if you need a car to get to work? Also could help me find an apartment?
> That would be great, thanks.
> 
> I can work a computer. Mobile devices a little. *No experience doing anything. No stinky stuff! No standing all day. No college. No heavy lifting. Not too polite. No noisy places. No working alone isolated.*
> ...


Now when all those requirements are fulfilled are we deduced to anything that resembles work anymore?


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## k_wifler (Sep 27, 2006)

HellCell said:


> Now when all those requirements are fulfilled are we deduced to anything that resembles work anymore?


Doesn't really matter if it qualifies as work or not.
Just have to collect a paycheck. Instead of disability check.
Only 1 in 20 people has to work in order to keep the economy going at full steam, that I know for an absolute global fact.
Everyone else is just pretending, and collecting a paycheck.


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## HellCell (Jul 8, 2014)

k_wifler said:


> Doesn't really matter if it qualifies as work or not.
> Just have to collect a paycheck. Instead of disability check.
> Only 1 in 20 people has to work in order to keep the economy going at full steam, that I know for an absolute global fact.
> Everyone else is just pretending, and collecting a paycheck.


Based on this line "*I can work a computer. Mobile devices a little.* No experience doing anything. No stinky stuff! No standing all day. No college. No heavy lifting. Not too polite. No noisy places. No working alone isolated."

I take it you mean hardware? Working at a electronic repair shop sounds like a good idea.


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## k_wifler (Sep 27, 2006)

HellCell said:


> Based on this line "*I can work a computer. Mobile devices a little.* No experience doing anything. No stinky stuff! No standing all day. No college. No heavy lifting. Not too polite. No noisy places. No working alone isolated."
> 
> I take it you mean hardware? Working at a electronic repair shop sounds like a good idea.


I used to hang out at a computer repair shop, and, well, that is way too high stress for me, at least the shop I was at.
I'm good with software, though. Programming. Coding.
Except if I have to do it as a job, I would have difficulty concentrating on it, probably because of ADD.

I guess what I should have said was that I have no on-the-job experience or training or certifications doing anything, and I'm self taught not college educated. Heh, I never do think of any of my skills as valuable, I guess I just assume that if they were, I'd be using them to earn money.

I'm still researching it but I think I may have a major mental block against being useful for anything or getting what I want, even though I know I can accomplish things that people would find useful and interesting. I've been told that I'm useless for so long that maybe it's become a self-fulfilling prophecy or whatever.
I can't seem to tolerate the idea of having to document my hours, or clock in and out of work every day, or do things for someone who is disrespectful just because they are your boss. I feel panic attacks coming on whenever anything job related comes up, like writing a resume, or having to wear a uniform, or the possibility of being fired for health problems (which I have a lot of). Somehow I got away with not learning any of that stuff at school, too.


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## HellCell (Jul 8, 2014)

k_wifler said:


> I used to hang out at a computer repair shop, and, well, that is way too high stress for me, at least the shop I was at.
> *I'm good with software, though. Programming. Coding*.
> Except if I have to do it as a job, I would have difficulty concentrating on it, probably because of ADD.
> 
> ...


Maybe freelance programming could be a thing. For the most part, it doesn't involve the same hassles as working with an employer. I can't say it's stressful or not, but it does take someone who is highly competent to be marketable doing this.

It's up to you, you can take your time, doesn't seem like you're in a world of pressure. Especially since I didn't hear any mention of anyone else such as your parents breathing down your neck.


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## k_wifler (Sep 27, 2006)

It would be cool if I could make money as a futurist. I know what's coming. 
Or a human robot design team director, since I know secret things about robot design.

Yeah, I looked into freelance programming. I would have to cure my ADD and study and take tons of certification programs to make any money at that, and I just don't see that happening any time soon.

I'm a little bit afraid that the USA is going to re define disability to cut me out, since all I need is a monthly infusion of drugs to survive on my own.
Or if the money runs out and they cut disability programs, what am I going to do? I need to figure out how to integrate into the job market sooner rather than later.

I know that once the healthy people get tired of working their butts off so that the sickly majority can have their money, they'll get angry and start another genocide just like all the other times it happened, and some angry farmer with a pitch fork will be after me.

The disability people think that, since I'm extremely smart, I would have some kind of study skills or something, which I don't have because I just remembered stuff the first time I saw it before I got sick and became disabled. Then when I ask how to develop study skills, they just say to study hard, which isn't an answer. So I can't work with the gov disability people until I magically learn study skills and magically get rid of my mental blocks against being employed.

I can't get an apprenticeship job until I cure my ADD somehow. Doc doesn't want to put me on any ADD meds. I'm simplifying my diet down to oranges and peanut butter and maybe I'll add leaves of cabbage and carrots to the list. I could study just fine if I had a human being to make sure I did everything in the day on time and didn't go to bed too late and made healthy meals for me. I'd make tons of money and give it all to that person.

I guess it's just my luck that my parents were both in such a hurry to die that they forgot to plan for their children's future or pay attention to their children's needs.

Like the title of the thread says, I think it would be cool if someone could just invite me to their easy job and we could hang out and help each other and stuff.

Haha, I wouldn't know how to be a male cam ***** or whatever. I'd never want to have to do anything with another man, and I bet they would want me to.
Although it might be cool to be like a pet and be locked up in some hot chick's house, hehehehehe. As if that would ever happen, haha. Meow?


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## Tokztero (Sep 12, 2013)

Become paramedic, I guess they respond to emergencies in designated areas, when they are not needed they are always on standby sitting in the ambulance in a parking lot at a shopping mall near my home. They get paid very well and they must sit there for a few hours a day waiting for a call, but there is a lot of responsibility when there is an emergency.

Edit: I forgot about college, but it's never too late to go to medical school.


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## k_wifler (Sep 27, 2006)

High stress environment, noooooo thanks. Also it's not likely that I'll be healthy enough to go to school any time soon unless a miracle happens and I get someone to nurse me back to health.


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