# Why do women lie in photos online?



## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

Maybe 'lie' is an incorrect statement . But they use photos with a ton of make-up and/or set specific angles hiding their ugly features. It's so obvious to anyone who knows them in real life. And I encourage men on facebook to embarrass the hell out of your female friends when caught doing this. Nobody likes to be lied to and you are only setting others up for disappointment when they finally meet you irl.

Edit: Also what about those women who draw on their eyebrows? it looks so silly :haha


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## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

I can't answer this question, as I don't lie in my photos. 
I don't wear make-up, I don't show only my good side (I don't have a good side), and I don't hide anything. I also don't reveal anything, either. 
If you want to see cleavage, get to know me better. 
Anyway, what you see is what you get. Glasses, wrinkles, and all.


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## Boby89 (Nov 28, 2015)

Ignopius said:


> Edit: Also what about those women who draw on their eyebrows? it looks so silly :haha


Some are actually tattooing the eyebrows.


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## Damon (Oct 27, 2015)

human nature. they're trying to lure in the best guy they can attract.


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## lizzy19 (Jun 16, 2012)

Did someone "lie" to you


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## Telliblah (Sep 19, 2015)

hmm well i think most people will use the best possible photos when trying to attract others


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## Daveyboy (Jan 13, 2013)

Dam. I thought you were permabanned... Haha


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

DiscardYourFear said:


> I can't answer this question, as I don't lie in my photos.
> I don't wear make-up, I don't show only my good side (I don't have a good side), and I don't hide anything. I also don't reveal anything, either.
> If you want to see cleavage, get to know me better.
> Anyway, what you see is what you get. Glasses, wrinkles, and all.


Respectable.

I'm not exactly opposed to wearing make-up. It's just some make-up is clearly over the top.


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

Telliblah said:


> hmm well i think most people will use the best possible photos when trying to attract others


But it goes beyond the selection process. And goes into territory of tweaking and altering the photo to give off a false impression.


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## Telliblah (Sep 19, 2015)

Ignopius said:


> But it goes beyond the selection process. And goes into territory of tweaking and altering the photo to give off a false impression.


At what point begins this territory?


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)




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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I see you're still suffering.



I never wear makeup but I take photos that look better at certain angles because sometimes I think they look better, but the only place I've posted pictures online in the last couple of years is this site barring avatars, and a lot of people have seen my YouTube videos, which if anything, somehow manage to make me look worse than in real life. As for facebook I don't use it anymore but in the past I only had people who knew me in real life and who I met through real life on there anyway (with one exception that is irrelevant really,) so everyone knew what I looked like anyway, not that I'd ever post many photos in the first place, just for profile pics mostly or because someone asked to see my hair colour or something (used to dye it lots of weird combinations of colours.)


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## Owlbear (Dec 3, 2015)

They'd probably stop if we guys called them on it when they claim to be average weight and show up weighing more than we do. But most guys seem to be so happy to be talking to a woman it gets brushed under the rug.


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## SPC (May 14, 2011)

ive always felt it was because societies and cultures across the world have conditioned women to understand that their primary worth to others is directly linked to how pretty they are.


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

They're trying to take a good photo. I don't know how to explain it really, but I guess it's like, they're not really taking instagram and facebook photos as a way to show you what they look like so you can judge and evaluate them for dating potential. You're taking it weirdly personal as though they're trying to seduce their way into your pants with fake good looks or something. A picture is just a picture.


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

mollitor said:


> They'd probably stop if we guys called them on it when they claim to be average weight and show up weighing more than we do. But most guys seem to be so happy to be talking to a woman it gets brushed under the rug.


Yeah. I mean men actually value women speaking to them.


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## Aribeth (Jan 14, 2012)

SPC said:


> ive always felt it was because societies and cultures across the world have conditioned women to understand that their primary worth to others is directly linked to how pretty they are.


sad but true


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

The rare instances I take pictures of myself I usually take, re-take and then examine to see which is the best. I guess its the same thing...except I don't wear makeup/use photoshop. Even where it doesn't matter what the hell I look like, I still would cringe having a terrible pic of myself. I reckon there's more societal pressures on women to look 'pretty' than there is for me. + the laws of attraction and such.


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## ImBrittany (Nov 2, 2013)

I will never understand people like this. Not the women who take pictures with makeup or anything, but the people who shame others for using it. I don't think I've worn makeup more than 5 times in my life but still, I think it's not really a problem for people to want to show what they consider to be good photos of themselves online. Isn't that what most people do? Plus you saying you encourage men to make fun of people for being "ugly" in real life when they post nice pictures ...how is that different than bullying? 
Also I know plenty of guys especially on SAS that post pictures at angles that highlight their more flattering angles when in real life/skype calls, they aren't exactly hot stuff either


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## lizzy19 (Jun 16, 2012)

ImBrittany said:


> I will never understand people like this. Not the women who take pictures with makeup or anything, but the people who shame others for using it. I don't think I've worn makeup more than 5 times in my life but still, I think it's not really a problem for people to want to show what they consider to be good photos of themselves online. Isn't that what most people do? Plus you saying you encourage men to make fun of people for being "ugly" in real life when they post nice pictures ...how is that different than bullying?
> Also I know plenty of guys especially on SAS that post pictures at angles that highlight their more flattering angles when in real life/skype calls, they aren't exactly hot stuff either


lol hot stuff


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## mattmc (Jun 27, 2013)

Men lie as well. Pretending not to have emotions, to be confident, to know what they're doing, etc. Everyone lies. Some of just really suck at it. Part of why I'm alone.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

Angled photos are kinda annoying on dating sites. That's the only time I really care.

I'm not too picky on make up but that's because I saw a girl who I thought didn't wear make up put it on. And ever since then I stopped judging because I don't know what the hell I'm talking about when it comes to being able to tell sometimes lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kesker (Mar 29, 2011)

ImBrittany said:


> *I will never understand people like this. Not the women who take pictures with makeup or anything, but the people who shame others for using it.* I don't think I've worn makeup more than 5 times in my life but still, I think it's not really a problem for people to want to show what they consider to be good photos of themselves online. Isn't that what most people do? Plus you saying you encourage men to make fun of people for being "ugly" in real life when they post nice pictures ...how is that different than bullying?
> Also I know plenty of guys especially on SAS that post pictures at angles that highlight their more flattering angles when in real life/skype calls, they aren't exactly hot stuff either


lol, right on.


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## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

lizzy19 said:


> Did someone "lie" to you


lol.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

SPC said:


> ive always felt it was because societies and cultures across the world have conditioned women to understand that their primary worth to others is directly linked to how pretty they are.


Unfortunately, yes.

We're criticized for being unattractive, and when we complain about the lack of interest from guys, are strongly advised to put on makeup and such to make ourselves pretty (like that's all it takes for all of us to become beautiful)...now when we follow that advice, we're criticized for being "fake"?

Do the guys who offer this criticism even want women at all? Or do they just want somebody to criticize? :con



Ignopius said:


> And I encourage men on facebook to embarrass the hell out of your female friends when caught doing this.


So you "encourage" guys to humiliate their "friends"...I sure hope they don't take you up on it often, because that is not what friends do. Plus, what is the point of that, really? You get some weird thrill from people being humiliated...? :|



ImBrittany said:


> Plus you saying you encourage men to make fun of people for being "ugly" in real life when they post nice pictures ...*how is that different than bullying?*


Exactly...it's bizarre to me when people who have supposedly been bullied or otherwise ridiculed encourage others to do the same. It kind of makes it hard to empathize with them. :con



Ignopius said:


> Nobody likes to be lied to and you are only setting others up for disappointment when they finally meet you irl.


_Very_ common advice given on SAS is for guys to mock up their dating profiles in various ways, to present themselves in the best light, including posting outdated or even completely false pictures...I do hope you criticize that practice whenever it's encouraged here, too...? Just to be fair and all?



mattmc said:


> Men lie as well. Pretending not to have emotions, to be confident, to know what they're doing, etc. Everyone lies. Some of just really suck at it. Part of why I'm alone.


Another unfortunate truth. :/ Like I just mentioned, I see both girls and guys being strongly advised to be fake in order just to be noticed, and it should not have to be a prerequisite for _any_ gender.

...

I don't wear makeup of any sort, BTW. Partly because I would feel like a liar, just as a thread like this is trying to shame me into feeling. And thus guys don't notice me, because I'm not pretty enough.

Point made.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

Why do so many guys lie in their profiles claiming to be "nice" when they're actually dirtbag scum?

Ladies, I encourage you to call out all your male friends for making these exaggerated claims of being "nice guys". Nobody likes being lied to, and you're only setting others up for disappointment when they finally get to know you irl.


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

yeeah.....


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Don't men lie about their height and income?


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

komorikun said:


> Don't desperate men lie about their height and income?


Can you blame them tho? lulz


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

A lot of fat girls who are on online dating websites will use photos showing only their face. Probably because they know that they're fat and want to hide it from guys. Then they just hope and pray that he doesn't care when they go on a 1st date.


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## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

M0rbid said:


> yeeah.....


Lmao! no joke! I remember a girl in highschool who only took photos of her face... her body was just like the one in your photo. She was always on online dating sites.. still is I saw her last time I frequented okcupid lol.

She really had an attractive face as well..

In the end I guess she thought working out is hard? or she felt comfortable with her weight? but why not take body shots as well.... confusing.. but it's whatever.


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## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

xxDark Horse said:


> A lot of fat girls who are on online dating websites will use photos showing only their face. Probably because they know that they're fat and want to hide it from guys. Then they just hope and pray that he doesn't care when they go on a 1st date.


Lol.. I kinda find that misleading but I don't why they want to hide the fact that they are a little on the chubby side (BBW) Most men dig it!


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

SPC said:


> ive always felt it was because societies and cultures across the world have conditioned women to understand that their primary worth to others is directly linked to how pretty they are.


If only they could remember the important message we all were supposedly taught as kids, that:


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## 0blank0 (Sep 22, 2014)

M0rbid said:


> yeeah.....


She is pretty though...


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

Aphotic Apathy said:


> Lol.. I kinda find that misleading but I don't why they want to hide the fact that they are a little on the chubby side (BBW) Most men dig it!


Very true haha


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

If you are going to judge everything by its cover, then I suppose it would be a problem. That's why like dating sites have words in addition to pictures. 

I don't think people who 'lie' in their pictures are doing it to be dastardly..they are probably doing it because they are lonely and would like to hopefully meet somebody who might look past the stuff they feel insecure about/been put down about in the past. If somebody goes out with them and then blasts them that they were 'lying' with their pictures, I highly doubt that's going to make them feel good about themselves and post 'truer' pictures from then on. 

I've actually experienced the opposite before. Like I found their pictures to be not so grand, but when I went out with them, I actually found them to be attractive (even if they didn't fit the typical 'definition')...probably because we 'clicked' on other important levels.


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## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

McFly said:


> lol'd, it's true though.


Sorry m8s I couldn't help but LOL!!


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## Dane (Jul 27, 2009)

It isn't only women who post misleading pictures. A girl I know had one internet date where the guy who showed up looked nothing like his online pictures.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Yeah, I've gone on a couple dates where the guy looked completely different. One guy must have been using a photo from 10-15 years ago. Another guy must have gained over 50 pounds since the photo was taken. And there was one who had a horrible profile but somehow took a good photo. He found the perfect angle.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

M0rbid said:


> Can you blame them tho? lulz


Seeing the comments that have been made about fat women in this (and many other) threads, can you blame them for posting only pictures of their face, though? "Lulz"?


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

They do it to make themselves look their best - obviously. I actually do think it's quite funny because sooner or later we're going to see what they really look like.

My girlfriend actually sent me a few photos of when she had just woken up - she said it was so I wouldn't get a surprise when I woke up beside her. (she's a nut) I thought that was a bit strange - but cute. 

It's not a big deal - it's just important to some people to look their best, especially at first. If they get a kick out of it who the hell cares? Let them have their fun and concentrate on more important things.


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## UnusualSuspect (Feb 24, 2014)

^
This

Especially the last paragraph.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

M0rbid said:


> yeeah.....


My reaction is good for her for showing her body. That doesn't bug me unless it was only her face.

And I have multiple pictures on my profile to show how I really look because I don't want any woman to be "deceived"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## halfly (Sep 18, 2012)

'cause when you always feel ugly, it's nice to feel like maybe there's the possibility you can be pretty at least some of the time.


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

If someone feels insecure about themselves they'll try to hide it and online people don't see you so you can create an image of yourself that aren't necessarily true. It's not really a good thing doing it on your online dating profile,but maybe they'll just think that if they can get a date that person will like them even though they weren't entirely truthful about everything.
Maybe they are lonely and really wants to meet someone? Both men and women do this,and I'm not saying that I agree with them. I can understand them though.

In generally I think people will want to portray themselves in the best way possible. Angles,make up,clothes etc. can take away certain things people are insecure about. I think it's weird to encourage people to make fun of people who "lie" in their pictures and it is in fact bullying. Would you say it to their face or is it just ok because it's online?


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## Surly Wurly (May 9, 2015)

mattmc said:


> Men lie as well. *Pretending not to have emotions, to be confident, to know what they're doing, etc.* Everyone lies. Some of just really suck at it. Part of why I'm alone.


lol this rings true

"hi! i have a great life. everythings fine. no REALLY!"


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

Most pictures are lies. Even the pics of a desk i want to sell on Craigslist is taken at the right angle just to lure in as much buyers as possible. Doesn't mean that the desk is a crappy desk in real life. It's actually real wood and sturdy too.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Once again sas singles out a gender when obviously both are equally guilty. 

Can you blame people for using photos which are not true representations of themselves? Sas should know better than anyone that appearances and first impressions matter the most, right?


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Guys do this as well. Flattering angles, filters, old pictures etc.


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

Yeah guys definitely do this as well. Even guys on here admitted to using either older pics from years ago or somebody else's pic entirely. So its not just girls that do this and advising people to "shame" others for doing so, especially people on their friends list, is really bad and toxic behavior. It won't accomplish anything other than to make people pissed at you.


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## MoonlitMadness (Mar 11, 2013)

How is it your business, why does it concern you that women you are never going to go out with like to wear mascara and fill in their eyebrows and take a photo from a flattering angle? I wear makeup, I fill my eyebrows in. Does it really matter? I don't know why you are taking it so personally darling.


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## MoonlitMadness (Mar 11, 2013)

M0rbid said:


> yeeah.....


Yeaahh.. she's beautiful. And she's not trying to hide anything either. Even if she was, how does it affect you? We all have our insecurities. Though this woman does not appear to be very insecure to me. So good for her. I don't think I can imagine her sharing pictures of strangers on a forum


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

I don't know why women draw fake eyebrows, but it sure looks weird. A person can actually buy eyebrow stencils to draw them back on.


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## binckie (Dec 4, 2015)

Farideh said:


> I don't know why women draw fake eyebrows, but it sure looks weird. A person can actually buy eyebrow stencils to draw them back on.


YES!!!!:grin2::grin2::grin2:
Haha I also never understood this. They remove their eyebrows and draw one on afterwards haha


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

This reminds me that I should probably replace the 8-10 year old pictures I have of myself on my online dating profiles. Someday...maybe when I care/am not lazy.


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## speranzalov (Dec 11, 2015)

I take photos from all different angles, different lightings, no filters... but I still feel like I look way worse in person because I guess that's just the way my face is...? Hence why I avoid online dating types of scenarios and am chronically single which is obviously the best thing every yaaay life goals. Really, though... I understand when they overuse filters and post pictures only from one angle and one place, but if they just happen to look better in photos than in person like me, I don't know if I/they/we can really be blamed for that, but I don't know.


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## catcharay (Sep 15, 2011)

'Lying' is the incorrect word for sure. There will always be a cross section of ppl who might posts pics that deviate far from their real look but its not from evil intentions. You are your own boss. You meet them, you don't like them because they 'lied'', then you just move on.


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

I've seen a few girls photoshop their pics on Facebook. I'm pretty sure it's coming from a place of low self esteem and trying to fit in. Lots of weeaboo girls photoshop their pics, like making their eyes bigger, nose narrower etc.


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## Findedeux (Mar 16, 2012)

The most common misleading photos I see are photos that are years old, or pictures that only include the face. It's amazing how many overweight women still look relatively slim in the face. If you don't see a body shot that's a pretty big red flag.


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## slowlyimproving (Jan 2, 2014)

Given the society that we live in, I can understand why women do that.


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

slowlyimproving said:


> Given the society that we live in, I can understand why women do that.


still sad tho


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## Staticnz (Mar 25, 2013)

Cos dey people. People lie.


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## rawrguy (Mar 29, 2008)

I love this thread. Men do this too, actually. It is incredibly easy to lie here on the internet. People do it just because they are embarrassed about how they actually look like.


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## binckie (Dec 4, 2015)

slowlyimproving said:


> Given the society that we live in, I can understand why women do that.


Yes: some people or a lot of people seem to love very skinny girls, however I still think that many of the girls that post just face pics are often really too heavy.

There is a difference between have a normal body type (by normal I mean not so skinny as many of those models) and being obese! 
For me: I want a healthy girl and sorry many of those very heavy ones are not healthy and not attractive.

I dare to say this.
I do not want to be a hypocrite.

+ I do not see the point to post such pictures on (eg dating sites) and leaving out your body type. Who do they think they are fooling?


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## kurtcobain (Nov 10, 2012)

Don't think you can generalize the entire female sex here. 

Also, its more of a human thing, which both sexes are guilty of doing. 

Its definitely not lying, its work like altering how they look (hah). 
Would you consider someone wearing a form flattering shirt LYING because it hides their unflattering features?


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

kurtcobain said:


> Don't think you can generalize the entire female sex here.
> 
> Also, its more of a human thing, which both sexes are guilty of doing.
> 
> ...


A thick makeup, yea. Its not flattering, its altering and lying.


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## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

i'm the opposite; i have a really round chubby face, but my body is not that fat... so if i post only a headshot, does that constitute 'lying'? because i'm misleading people to think i weigh more than i actually do?


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

bad baby said:


> i'm the opposite; i have a really round chubby face, but my body is not that fat... so if i post only a headshot, does that constitute 'lying'? because i'm misleading people to think i weigh more than i actually do?


I think they only care if they were tricked into being interested :lol It's a very selfish kind of anger, "argh, my fap material isn't as fappable as I first thought!!"


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## Findedeux (Mar 16, 2012)

It's not lying but it is still misleading.



bad baby said:


> i'm the opposite; i have a really round chubby face, but my body is not that fat... so if i post only a headshot, does that constitute 'lying'? because i'm misleading people to think i weigh more than i actually do?


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

Jesus ****ing Christ. This is the stupidest ****ing question I've seen today.


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## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

tehuti88 said:


> Unfortunately, yes.
> 
> We're criticized for being unattractive, and when we complain about the lack of interest from guys, are strongly advised to put on makeup and such to make ourselves pretty (like that's all it takes for all of us to become beautiful)...now when we follow that advice, we're criticized for being "fake"?
> 
> ...


Not pretty enough? I think you are cute enough even without makeup (raw beauty). 

You are similar to Candice (super model) face wise. So I believe like Candice, makeup would make you even more beautiful. 



M0rbid said:


> yeeah..... :x


Nothing wrong with that photo. She is pretty. 



Aphotic Apathy said:


> Lol.. I kinda find that misleading but I don't why they want to hide the fact that they are a little on the chubby side (BBW) Most men dig it!


May dig it, but women like that on dating websites usually want bigger men. 



felicshagrace said:


> She is pretty though...


I agree.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

MoonlitMadness said:


> How is it your business, why does it concern you that women you are never going to go out with like to wear mascara and fill in their eyebrows and take a photo from a flattering angle? I wear makeup, I fill my eyebrows in. Does it really matter? I don't know why you are taking it so personally darling.


:clap


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

Well, ffs, nobody wants to post a bad pic. I mean it's kind of common sense to me.


The friend I have that used to be on this site that I exchanged pics with....I took three selfies and then just said screw it, I want her to see what I look like irl. I had a five o'clock (more like 9 o'clock) shadow, and was wearing a t-shirt I think. I picked the best one and just sent it to her lol. The last, last thing I want to do is be misleading about my appearance. But at the same time I can also understand wanting to look your best in some situations.


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## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

TenYears said:


> Well, ffs, nobody wants to post a bad pic. I mean it's kind of common sense to me.


The thing is, a bad pic can be just as misleading as a good one. A pic does not portray the animation in a person's face, their gestures, their body language, their personality.

A lot of people don't realize it, but the way a person moves, or talks, or blushes, or blinks, or nods their head is part of the reason someone might be attracted to you. How a person looks to someone, their physical attractiveness, is not just a pretty face or big boobs that look nice in pictures. Even guys are attracted to more than just a pretty face or hot body, even if they don't know it.


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## Silere (Oct 19, 2014)

DiscardYourFear said:


> The thing is, a bad pic can be just as misleading as a good one. A pic does not portray the animation in a person's face, their gestures, their body language, their personality.
> 
> A lot of people don't realize it, but *the way a person moves, or talks, or blushes, or blinks, or nods their head* is part of the reason someone might be attracted to you. How a person looks to someone, their physical attractiveness, is not just a pretty face or big boobs that look nice in pictures. Even guys are attracted to more than just a pretty face or hot body, even if they don't now it.


That's very true.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

DiscardYourFear said:


> The thing is, a bad pic can be just as misleading as a good one. A pic does not portray the animation in a person's face, their gestures, their body language, their personality.
> 
> A lot of people don't realize it, but the way a person moves, or talks, or blushes, or blinks, or nods their head is part of the reason someone might be attracted to you. How a person looks to someone, their physical attractiveness, is not just a pretty face or big boobs that look nice in pictures. Even guys are attracted to more than just a pretty face or hot body, even if they don't now it.


Oh, I agree, totally. But in my case there's no way in hell I'm...video Skyping or anything like that. I have a hard enough time just taking pictures, just sending a pic of myself to her. And she feels the same way about doing it herself. Curiosity got the best of us though of course because we'd spent so much time talking, and neither of us had any pics up on SAS (though she did eventually post one).

I think this is (obviously) so much more of an issue for people with SA, than it is for "normies". I don't doubt that it causes some of them a lot of anxiety, too...but I doubt it's as much of an issue for most people, by a long ways.


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## hereandthere (Dec 7, 2015)

Ignopius said:


> Maybe 'lie' is an incorrect statement . But they use photos with a ton of make-up and/or set specific angles hiding their ugly features.


If I may... I think women are judged more harshly than men on the basis of appearance, by both women and men. This is not to say men aren't judged on the basis of appearance. We are. Absolutely. But I truly believe women have it harder than men in this regard. I'm sure I'll anger someone with that belief, and I'm sorry if I have done just that. I truly don't intend to offend. I just want to share my experience in order to lend a different perspective.



Ignopius said:


> And I encourage men on facebook to embarrass the hell out of your female friends when caught doing this. Nobody likes to be lied to and you are only setting others up for disappointment when they finally meet you irl.


Well... I don't want to argue. I really don't. But I can't agree with the suggestion that men should "embarrass the hell" out of their female friends. Does anyone, male or female, like to be called out for trying to please other people? For trying to feel attractive? For trying to look their best, even if the basis of the motivation is insecurity, for reasons real or imagined? I don't think so.

My advice? Try being understanding of others' insecurity and their efforts to feel better about themselves. No, focusing on the physical isn't the best way to "make up" for insecurities, so to speak. But it is a human way, and I think we should try to be understanding when it comes to human foibles -- male or female.


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## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

hereandthere said:


> If I may... I think women are judged more harshly than men on the basis of appearance,* by both women and men.* This is not to say men aren't judged on the basis of appearance. We are. Absolutely. But I truly believe women have it harder than men in this regard. I'm sure I'll anger someone with that belief, and I'm sorry if I have done just that. I truly don't intend to offend. I just want to share my experience in order to lend a different perspective.


Yeah, I get this. I always want men to notice me, but at the same time, I don't want women to say nasty things about me if I do happen to get noticed by men. I feel judged any which way I turn, sometimes.


> Does anyone, male or female, like to be called out for trying to please other people? For trying to feel attractive? For trying to look their best, even if the basis of the motivation is insecurity, for reasons real or imagined? I don't think so.


I know I don't. I want to feel attractive and also be liked, not hated, for being attractive.


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

There's definitely a line between deceiving everyone (yourself included) and "taking a good picture"; I wouldn't know that line, personally, (I'm not a fan of pics for that reason) but it's out there.

There are only so many poses, angles, and filters to choose from, which ones are the most honest? If 1 out of 10 looks good, do they chalk it up to flattering themselves and just choose one of the ugly 9 at random? Theoretically, any "flattering" pic is a possible look for them in real life (given they didn't use too much photoshop), you just might have to carry a flashlight around, some blush, an Oculus Rift, HoloLens, and tilt your head from time to time (but who said "natural" was "real", anyways?)

In the case someone is "lying", you don't even have to know the person in real life to see through it, the fact that a person consistently hides a certain part of their body is suspicious enough. Regardless, people share a lot of the same insecurities, even without establishing a personal habit, a good guess can be made with one pic (a picture's worth a thousand words, right?). Consistency, in general, is pretty telling.

I don't know about "lies", but seeing someone you know doing extra is kinda ridiculous. It's not even so much about flattery, it's just seeing them act completely out of character that's the issue. Sometimes you wonder what they're trying to accomplish, you just pray there's a good reason and your respect for them doesn't just wash away with your hopes and dreams.


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## Potato Girl (Jul 22, 2013)

why do you care about what others do to feel good? why wouldnt you want to look your best in a photo thats going to be around for a very long time. maybe if you stopped judging women by their physical appearance they wouldnt feel the need to put so much effort into it.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

Why would someone want to put up an ugly photo of themselves? This is why I never take pictures of myself or put them on the internet. Most cameras make me look butt ugly and no picture is better than a bad picture. Some people have an aversion to ugliness/flaws and edit pictures of themselves/wear makeup to improve the look of it. Btw, I've seen guys do this as well, not just females. Personally, I think most people look better in real life than in photos anyways, unless they are a model and exceptionally photogenic, but that's just me.


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## MamaDoe (Dec 15, 2015)

You encourage men to embarrass their female friends if they take inaccurate pictures? Excuse me?

It's justifying to shame a girl if she wants to somewhat make herself feel good about herself by putting on more makeup and taking a good picture? 

Why are you so offended? Did someone deceive you? If you don't like it, shame them yourself. 

Sorry mate, they're probably not "directly" lying to you or even CARE if YOU personally have seen the picture. 

Btw your profile picture says your turn off is arrogance but you're arrogant yourself? gfg.


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