# Nobody is entitled to dating, sex, or a relationship, just because they are lonely



## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Agree or disagree?


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## Shady Dealer (Aug 1, 2012)

People are only entitled to those things if they're handsome or have money.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I disagree with that statement. Plenty of poor, ugly, stupid people with significant others. The only difference is that they found their equals, because they tend to be just like them.

And what is an attractive man? Brad Pitt? I have seen pictures of him without all that photoshopping, and he looks like a normal, even average looking, dude.


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## Shady Dealer (Aug 1, 2012)

Yes but those non-handsome poor people have to work for it, rather than have opportunities fall onto their lap.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

Well technically that's true, but when you see almost everyone else get those things so easily, even those who deserve it the least, being told that you're not entitled to it is like dangling a steak in front of a starving person and then taking it away. Humans like to pride themselves on how civilized they are and how we have transcended our base nature, yet when it comes to dating and relationships, the law of the jungle reigns supreme and we're just supposed to roll over and accept it - and those who complain about it are told to drop their 'sense of entitlement', despite the fact that it seems almost everyone else is entitled to it.


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## meeps (Dec 5, 2011)

No one is "entitled" to spending time with/having sex with/being in a relationship with another person...That's like something a narcissist would think.


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## yourfavestoner (Jan 14, 2010)

I've never heard anyone say they're entitled to those things in my life. It's just something we'd like to have


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

Nobody is entitled to anything except basic human rights.


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

Agree. No one is entitled to dating or a partner or to sex with someone. Therefore, it is senseless to complain excessively about it or to say that the world is pitted against them and owes them a piece of it. That being said, the dating world is quite pitted against guys, but not as much as SAers think it is, it is grossly exaggerated on this site that lonely people's destiny are to be forever alone.. because the world works that way. There's forever alone, then there's temporarily not alone.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I wasn't talking about anybody in particular. I know that, meeps.

I am talking about, just because you are a lonely, single person, do you deserve love, just because you are lonely? Or are you entitled to being in love at least one time in your life, because you feel you are a good person, but others don't see you as datable?

I am just reflecting the values of those who create these arguments, mostly single, lonely guys in their 20's and 30's.


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

WintersTale said:


> I wasn't talking about anybody in particular. I know that, meeps.
> 
> *I am talking about, just because you are a lonely, single person, do you deserve love, just because you are lonely? Or are you entitled to being in love at least one time in your life, because you feel you are a good person, but others don't see you as datable?*
> 
> I am just reflecting the values of those who create these arguments, mostly single, lonely guys in their 20's and 30's.


No.


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

I don't feel entitled to get a girlfriend. But I do feel the need to complain about it if I want to.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Dissonance said:


> I don't feel entitled to get a girlfriend. But I do feel the need to complain about it if I want to.


Can you explain why you feel like complaining about it, if it isn't something that was necessarily denied you?


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

WintersTale said:


> Can you explain why you feel like complaining about it, if it isn't something that was necessarily denied you?


Because it bothers me but I'm not going to force someone to like me, but it's like playing video games you lose and it's not like I'm entitled to win every battle, but you have to vent your frustration somehow.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Dissonance said:


> Because it bothers me but I'm not going to force someone to like me, but it's like playing video games you lose and it's not like I'm entitled to win every battle, but you have to vent your frustration somehow.


If you look at it as something that you were never meant to deserve to have, though, you haven't really lost anything, have you?


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

Well it's still a disappointing situation, and if I feel the need to complain I shall do so even if people think I'm entitled.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Dissonance said:


> Well it's still a disappointing situation, and if I feel the need to complain I shall do so even if people think I'm entitled.


But you aren't. That's what people are stating here.

Yes, sex and relationships are on Maslow's Pyramid, but you can fill that with porn and friendship. You don't necessarily need a girlfriend to be happy.

I personally feel I am blessed in so many ways, that I don't need to worry about relationships. If they don't want to be with me, that is their loss!


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

the cheat said:


> Nobody is entitled to anything except basic human rights.


yeah.


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

This all seems like a way to keep from talking about their frustration, but you can believe what you want.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Dissonance said:


> This all seems like a way to keep from talking about their frustration, but you can believe what you want.


What, exactly, and without using the terms "nice guy", "beta male", or "bad boy", what is stopping you from getting a girlfriend tomorrow?


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

What's stopping me? Depression, I have a cold, unable to speak well, not meeting the social expectations people have. I also don't just want to be tacked on to a person, you know compatibility, like not being religious.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Entitled from who/what? The government owes you a relationship? Women owe you a relationship?


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

komorikun said:


> Entitled from who/what? The government owes you a relationship? Women owe you a relationship?


That is the exact same question I am asking.

This is a new take on the "women hate nice guys/love bad boys" threads that come every other day on here. I am asking these guys to explain themselves, and asking people to explain why those threads are wrong.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I do get that entitlement feeling when guys say, "she didn't give me a chance." or "women never give me a chance."


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

It's not necessarily saying that you're entitled when you say "Women never give me a chance." If they do, indeed, never give you a chance, you are just stating a bitter truth.

However, if you follow it up with "But they should, because I'm a great guy, and they don't know what they want", then that is entitlement.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

Nobody is entitled to these things because that is saying that somebody else is obliged to give them those things.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

jimity said:


> Nobody is entitled to these things because that is saying that somebody else is obliged to give them those things.


Very good point, jimity. And one to consider.

Another argument is, is loneliness a state of mind, or is it a state of existence? Can you possibly be happy being lonely, or do you have to complain about it?

And if you complain about it, aren't you driving away the same people that you are trying to attract?


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

WintersTale said:


> Another argument is, is loneliness a state of mind, or is it a state of existence? Can you possibly be happy being lonely, or do you have to complain about it?
> 
> And if you complain about it, aren't you driving away the same people that you are trying to attract?


I think loneliness is more a state of mind. I think you can be happy being lonely. Perhaps developing a better relationship with yourself can overcome loneliness.


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

WintersTale said:


> Very good point, jimity. And one to consider.
> 
> Another argument is, is loneliness a state of mind, or is it a state of existence? Can you possibly be happy being lonely, or do you have to complain about it?
> 
> And if you complain about it, aren't you driving away the same people that you are trying to attract?





jimity said:


> I think loneliness is more a state of mind. I think you can be happy being lonely. Perhaps developing a better relationship with yourself can overcome loneliness.


Being "lonely" indicates that you're longing to not be alone...so I don't see how anyone could be happy while feeling lonely. Being happy, alone? Of course...


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## luceo (Jan 29, 2011)

the cheat said:


> Being "lonely" indicates that you're longing to not be alone...so I don't see how anyone could be happy while feeling lonely. Being happy, alone? Of course...


Exactly. Loneliness and being alone are two different things and both can occur independently of each other.



WintersTale said:


> Can you possibly be happy being lonely, or do you have to complain about it?
> 
> And if you complain about it, aren't you driving away the same people that you are trying to attract?


I think it's weird that you think the alternative to being happily lonely is complaining. You don't _have_ to complain about being lonely, regardless of how lonely you are. An awful lot of people suffer in silence you know.
Though I do agree that complaining about loneliness does drive people away. Who wants to hang out with someone that's always miserable and complaining? It's a drag. Especially for any non-lonely people.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

the cheat said:


> Being "lonely" indicates that you're longing to not be alone...so I don't see how anyone could be happy while feeling lonely. Being happy, alone? Of course...


Of course you can be happy while being alone or wanting company. Just roll one and smoke one  ay bro'


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Ape in space said:


> Well technically that's true, but when you see almost everyone else get those things so easily, even those who deserve it the least, being told that you're not entitled to it is like dangling a steak in front of a starving person and then taking it away. Humans like to pride themselves on how civilized they are and how we have transcended our base nature, yet when it comes to dating and relationships, the law of the jungle reigns supreme and we're just supposed to roll over and accept it - and those who complain about it are told to drop their 'sense of entitlement', despite the fact that it seems almost everyone else is entitled to it.


I like your posts, even if they are a bit depressing :\ But you're right.

But regarding the statement.. it's true, but really mostly because of the way it's phrased. It isn't a matter of entitlement and it's not because you're lonely.
I believe everybody deserves to be loved and deserves to be happy, but at the same time you also have to do what you can to improve yourself and be a better person.
I don't like when "love" and "intimacy" are thought of as commodities that should only be given if the other person has sufficiently much to offer in return, and for people who don't meet that bar it's deemed "fair" that they be miserable and lonely. We ought to help them get to where they want to be so they can get to experience those things as well.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

agree, I hate to be morbid, but the only thing we are "entitled" to is death. We definitely will get that if not anything else.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

I don't remember the last time I was bored enough to have such a bizarre thought as the title of this thread.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

It wasn't that I was bored.

It's that I'm tired of the gender wars, and was trying to create a new spin on it, so that the gender wars stop.

It's called reverse psychology. Look it up.


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

WintersTale said:


> What, exactly, and without using the terms "nice guy", "beta male", or "bad boy", what is stopping you from getting a girlfriend tomorrow?


I'm a social dumbass. Do I win a cookie? :b


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

You are entitled to whatever you feel you are entitled to. Entitlement is nothing more than a belief. My view of entitlement is a little different than some perhaps. I don't view entitlement such as someone OWES you something, no. I view entitlement as something you give yourself permission to have or strive for. No one is entitled to give you something though, but you are entitled to think you are entitled for what you want lol....


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

I thought you were going to say because they are ugly. It's good you did not. Any lonely person can get a date and have sex. This does not make any sense at all. Unless you're referring to a shy person, then yes, that would seem impossible, even though it may be possibe.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

The coupon said I am entitled. Maybe I just didn't read the fine print.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

rdrr said:


> The coupon said I am entitled. Maybe I just didn't read the fine print.


"*This coupon only entitles relationships and sex with yourself."
It's harsh when you turn yourself down though.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

No one is entitled to anything, be it money, sex, happiness, etc.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

Nope its about how you present yourself and even then "entitled is probably" the wrong word... more about deserving it.

I mean for someone, who is lonely and genuinely wants a relationship. They take care in their appearance, are nice to women they like, are doing things to enhance themselves (such as, doing things to gain confidence and help them become easier to hold a convo with).

I fall into the above, and whilst I dont believe I am entitled to a relationship with the girl I want... I deserve the relationship.

However, for someone who is lonely and has given up or cant be bothered, they neither deserve or are entitled to a relationship


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

WintersTale said:


> That is the exact same question I am asking.
> 
> This is a new take on the "women hate nice guys/love bad boys" threads that come every other day on here. I am asking these guys to explain themselves, and asking people to explain why those threads are wrong.


Cause some women don't think that way. Simple as that. It generalization that women hate nice guys.


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## Loveless (Apr 6, 2012)

5 4 3 2 1 OMFG -_-............ What I'm about to say will piss a lot of you off and you know what...... Good. If I piss you off because I want a girl then yes if is worth it. I believe strongly in the power if love. And I believe we are ALL entitled to love. It's awesome seeing 2 people together. So I believe obviously that I an entitled to it too. If that makes ne selfish and arrogant so be it. I'm not Mr nice guy nor do I care about what women like better. I just simply feel I won't be happy without it. I don't care what people think. I want love, and I will not be happy without it. It's my choice, I have never cared. I want love and I want it bad. I'll get bashed because apparently its illegal to want love but ha ha idc. So bash me, hate me and gang me for wanting love and feeling "entitled" to it.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

I'm not sure I'd say entitled, but I think most everyone is deserving of a happy relationship.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

No one's entitled to food, shelter, freedom, health care or basic human respect either.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Ape in space said:


> No one's entitled to food, shelter, freedom, health care or basic human respect either.


Let alone posting on internet forums.
*watches as mods remove random posts just to illustrate the point*


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

I'm not entitled to or deserving of any of those things although I am very lonely.


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## LeftyFretz (Feb 12, 2011)

Nobody is entitled to anything. 

And you don't need to be rich or handsome to sleep with someone. People on here who complain about loneliness either don't try or give up too quick. 

That's their problem. I'm not entitled to give anyone sympathy. 

And I've been around the block with SA. Keep at it.


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## Loveless (Apr 6, 2012)

LeftyFretz said:


> Nobody is entitled to anything.
> 
> And you don't need to be rich or handsome to sleep with someone. People on here who complain about loneliness either don't try or give up too quick.
> 
> ...


Good advice lol.


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

Ape in space said:


> No one's entitled to food, shelter, freedom, health care or basic human respect either.


It's perfectly reasonable to demand that society (embodied by your government) give you all those things, and to camp outside parliament with a sign until they give it to you. It's totally unreasonable to demand that society furnish you with a relationship or sex.

Saying that anyone is entitled to sex sounds dangerously close to endorsing rape to me.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

Paul said:


> It's perfectly reasonable to demand that society (embodied by your government) give you all those things, and to camp outside parliament with a sign until they give it to you. It's totally unreasonable to demand that society furnish you with a relationship or sex.
> 
> Saying that anyone is entitled to sex sounds dangerously close to endorsing rape to me.


I said in my first post that I agree that nobody is entitled to a relationship or sex. But it's still very insensitive to say to someone who is lonely that 'Nobody is entitled to a relationship just because they're lonely'. It's like kicking someone while they're down - just like telling someone 'No one is entitled to freedom just because they're oppressed.' Or 'No one is entitled to food just because they're hungry'. In the latter situation for example, people are dependent on other people (farmers, etc.) for their food supply. So it's still technically true that they're not entitled to the labour of those farmers to get their food. But would you say that to a starving person? It should be about helping, not blaming.


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## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

Agree.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

John316C said:


> "they" say that people who dont believe they're entitled to wealth happiness love and a great life dont find it because they believe they're *not *entitled to it, so maybe you should change the way you think.
> 
> some people believe money is dirty thats why they're always poor.
> some people believe poverty is righteous thats why they're poor.
> ...


This logic makes sense, but at the same time, it is an ultimate fail.

Many men and women here approach the gender that they want to date, and get nowhere. Then they come here and complain about it. It is more men than women, but I still see the occasional female poster come here and complain about no guys paying attention to her.

My point was, are you entitled to something just because you feel you are? Or does luck and external factors factor into it?


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Paloma M said:


> I thought you were going to say because they are ugly. It's good you did not. Any lonely person can get a date and have sex. This does not make any sense at all. Unless you're referring to a shy person, then yes, that would seem impossible, even though it may be possible.


I agree with this statement.


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## LorenLuke (Jan 3, 2011)

My thoughts:

Right here.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

WintersTale said:


> I wasn't talking about anybody in particular. I know that, meeps.
> 
> I am talking about, just because you are a lonely, single person, do you deserve love, just because you are lonely? Or are you entitled to being in love at least one time in your life, because you feel you are a good person, but others don't see you as datable?
> 
> I am just reflecting the values of those who create these arguments, mostly single, lonely guys in their 20's and 30's.


Everyones deserves to be loved no matter what.


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