# I hate my job because it triggers my SA



## teenagesurfrat (Jun 13, 2014)

About a month ago i got a job at a fast food restaurant. As I drive to work my heart starts beating so fast and I get a dry mouth/adrenalin as well as terrible stomach cramps. I work on counter and for the first fifteen minutes or so of my shift my voice wavers and I shake a bit as I serve the customers. I have been trying to make an effort to be make conversation and be friendly to my colleagues, I feel lke I could almost pass off as normal or at least just a bit quiet. Today I was working with a different manager than usual and hes really jokey, flamboyant and laid back. He said to me: "I dont like you..you're too quiet" as a joke. I quickly murmured "haha...sorry" and pretended to joke back but it was so obvious how embarrassed I was, he then said "aw you dont need to go red I was only kidding" he then got the attention of another manager "Oh I embarrassed her!" it was one of the most humiliating experiences ive had in this job so far. I was so anxious for the rest of my shift and burst into tears as soon as i got in the car. Ive been crying on and off since and I dont want to go back but I need the money.  I am starting to think theres nothing to do to cure my anxiety, i just wish i was a different person.


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## Tymes Rhymes (May 28, 2014)

I hear you. Your story is similar to mine.

About a month ago, I started a job at a grocery store and on my way to work, I get severe anxiety.

Sometimes I work 6 days a week, sometimes I have 3 days off in a row and anything else in between.

Even when I have 3 days off in a row, on the first day off, I have severe anxiety attacks at the thought of going back.

I've been breaking out in pimples due to the stress and believe my hair is already thinning at the same time.

One manager tells me to do something one way and when I do it that way, another manager tells me that I'm doing my job wrong.

When you work for someone else, making someone else rich, there is never any consistency whether it is with your schedule, work conditions, happiness; no consistency at all.

I hate the thought of having to go back but I too need the money. So much physical work for such little pay. Man this life sucks.

I hope that when I start my own business, that it is worth it.


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## masterridley (Jan 20, 2007)

That's brutal, I would have felt the same things and probably would have quit. When people joke like that I don't feel it's a joke but a frank remark that escapes their self-censorship.

Yes, there are people who don't like quiet people, the solution is not to feel bad about it but to accept that some people will like you for what you are and some will not. And then ignore the opinion of the latter cause it doesn't help you in any way and only value the opinion of the former.


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## stillpushingmyselfalong (Apr 2, 2014)

I've always been interested in how things work and i guess through my therapist i focus on why people behave the way they do. The main point is we are nothing more than instruments in their game, so their comments don't have so much to do with us as to do with the impression they want to give about themselves. Example, nobody, other than you, is thinking about that time you went red with embarrassment, that day, that event is in the past and only you keep it alive. So if someone brings it up, you can't react, you need to neutralize it with a 'whatever'. Also, the guy might be trying to flirt with you.


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## Just Here (Jul 16, 2013)

I'm sure that manger wasn't trying to pick on you. He doesn't know you well enough to know this bother you. He was just joking around. This is hard because I to like to joke around and never thought I could make someone feel bad by doing it. Thank you I learn something today that I would have never seen for myself.


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## BAH (Feb 12, 2012)

Don't let it bother you, it's not a big deal.


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## ICat (Jul 21, 2012)

I think a big problem with us is we tend to overthink things too much. For me for example, when somebody says something uncomfortable or I say something stupid, I often get depressed for days. Even if I know nobody but me cares. 
In my opinion it's just lack of interaction outside of job/school environment, so even minor negative things tend to draw too much attention and take a hit on self-esteem


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## fobia (Feb 19, 2010)

There will be no job, that will not trigger your/ours SA. As it seems to me problem here is not in the job or managers, but in our perception. I don't think manager wanted to offend you or make bad jokes about you. As it was already told he doesn't know you well to know all your weaknesses and strengths. Sometimes people see others people being embarrassed or blushing as a something cute, sweet and unusual and do not try to make bad jokes about it, but to lighten the mood by pointing out to that as something cute. And sometimes people can get even more embarrassed by your embarrassment and try to hide it by making loud jokes with no intention to offend.


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## H8PPLNDGS (Mar 15, 2013)

Many people hate their jobs SA or not. People at the end of their shifts or when they get home they will cry, drink, binge, engage in other addictive behavior or have the need to find some sort of release. There are times I just don't want to talk at work because of how people may react to me or vice or versa. Also it feels worse when I come across people who have made feel really bad in the past trying to strike up conversations again just so they can find another reason to judge me and others. I sometimes get people joking about my lack of socialness too especially when I start work or volunteering anywhere. As long as they don't belittle you in other ways this can be tolerable. Some of the most social people I have come across have actually felt much job anxiety due to other asshats at work or other organizations they have attended or participated in.


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## lagrenuda (May 30, 2014)

teenagesurfrat said:


> As I drive to work my heart starts beating so fast and I get a dry mouth/adrenalin as well as terrible stomach cramps. I work on counter and for the first fifteen minutes or so of my shift my voice wavers and I shake a bit as I serve the customers.


this sounds like me when I got my first job last fall
every day when I woke up I felt anxious because I kept thinking about how I was going to behave at work I become more and more anxious as I was on my way to work. everyday I practice calming myself as I was on my way to work
I learn to not take things people say to me seriously/personally
because I know my mistakes (no matter how bad they were) would only encourage me to understand and change my emotional thoughts and behaviors. 
my 1st job ended 4 months ago but I was recently hired at my new job 3 weeks ago and even though I'm struggling a lot with my social anxiety
I don't feel anxious when I'm on my way to work anymore


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