# Panic Attacks while public speaking hit me out of the blue



## BobShishka (Sep 13, 2009)

Panic Attacks hit me out of the blue, now I feel like a prisoner.

This is the first time I have talked about this...

I'm 29 and I have been comfertable public speaking my entire life. I have given small speeches in front of large groups- up to 1100 people, and I used to give 5-20 minute speeches about 2-4 times a month in front of 100+ people. I would get a little nervous, but after 30 seconds or so I would get comfortable and actually enjoy myself.

About a year ago i had my first panic attack while in front of a crowd. I had no idea what was happening of what triggered it, but it was horrible. I had all of the symptoms, shaky voice, sweating, went pail, sever body shakes, I felt out of body, heart racing. The entire audience was concerned I was having a heart attack.

Since that event I actually gathered up the courage to get up and speak about 5 or 6 more times. Same result. Horrible.

Now it has crept into my business life and I avoid teaching training courses or speaking in front of groups.

It frustrates me when people tag this as just being nervous, or tell me to practice. It is so beyond that. It a a psychological reaction that I have seemingly no control over. I can feel great, not nervous and BAM, it hits me out of the blue. I'm thankful that it is contained in only public speaking settings and not in any other areas of my life.

I told my Dr. and I havea perscription of Ativan and Inderal. Inderal has never seemed to work, at a 30mg dosage. Ativan works, but it takes 20mg, which makes me feel so drugged and I am knocked out the rest of the day. Its not worth it. I would rather go up and speak drunk- which I never will.

These are my frustrations, I am open to any suggestions. I tried the Linden Method, that didnt work...

Thanks guys.


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## ivankaramazov (Aug 22, 2009)

Similar course I had with public speaking, although my issues started earlier. Seems to be pretty common that once you get a panic attack once during something, you can become so fearful that it will happen again and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I found this book very helpful, I'd highly recommend it - http://www.amazon.com/SpotLight-Overcome-Public-Speaking-Performing/dp/1928782078.

Inderal works for me well, but I take anywhere from 40-80mg.


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## lucey (Aug 26, 2009)

Omg Bob, my experience sounds sooo similar to yours..

I had a panic attack in a work meeting while speaking. I totally lost my train of thought while I was talking and froze. It was so bad, I said I was feeling sick and excused myself!  It was soo embarassing, I have dreaded going to work and saying anything in our daily meeting ever since. I get so nervous and anxious going to work every day just because of that incident. I now have panic attacks almost every day at work. My doctor gave me xanax and prescribed me citalopram (celexa). I started about 2 weeks ago. I'm waiting to see the full effects so far.. Propranolol (inderal) didn't work for me either..Maybe we need to try a higher dose?.. I only take 20mg at a time.. 

I don't know why these panic attacks started in this setting. I've had panic attacks for years, but never in work meetings. I wish I could offer you advice or more helpful information, but I'm pretty much in the same boat as you. I have read good reviews about that book ivan recommended.. I'm probably going to give that a try.. I don't know what else to do..


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## ivankaramazov (Aug 22, 2009)

Definitely check the book out. It's not like 99% of the public speaking books out there that glaze over fear as butterflies, suggesting deep breaths or some bs. It was the first time I saw/heard anything address the reactions I had to public speaking that made me think, "Oh, somebody does get it."


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## BobShishka (Sep 13, 2009)

I will check it out. Anything to help. Yesterday I chaired a meeting with about 120 people there. I was only on center stage for about 2 minutes, but I seemed to find a combo of meds that helped. 10mg ativan with 60mg of Inderal. I would like to break free of all meds though.

Thanks for the support.

EDIT- I just ordered the book.


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## lucey (Aug 26, 2009)

Glad you found something that works for you, even if it's temporary!  I ordered the book too, what can we lose.. I'm also going to up my dose of propranolol and see if it makes any difference. 20mg did nothing for me.. 

Did you feel like you could still function when you took the ativan? I'm nervous about taking xanax (.5mg) in my situation.. It makes me pretty sleepy when I do take it and I'm afraid I'll be a space cadet.. :yawn


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## BobShishka (Sep 13, 2009)

lucey said:


> Did you feel like you could still function when you took the ativan? I'm nervous about taking xanax (.5mg) in my situation.. It makes me pretty sleepy when I do take it and I'm afraid I'll be a space cadet.. :yawn


I hate the way ativan makes me feel. 10mg I can function, but alone 10mg will not stop a panic attack during public speaking. I would have to increase it to 20mg or 25mg... and that is a bad move. I would practically fall asleep as soon as I stopped moving. I did not notice any side effects from the Inderal, excpet my wife- who is a nurse- almost punched me when I told her I took 60mg, when I am prescribed 10-20....

I honestly believe I would speak better drunk than on ativan alone.

I'm hoping this combo of 10mg ativan and 60mg inderal does the trick. The more confidence I build and the more I can get up and speak without an attack the less meds I think I will need. I feel really good about the other day. I'm hoping to build on that.


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## sphinx666 (Jun 18, 2011)

*same thing...*

Hi Bob,

I know it's been a few years since you posted that note, but I just came across it. I have been dealing with the exact same thing since my early 20s - it was out of the blue - one event and I was never able to speak in public again. I went on Effexor xr 150mg for over 5 years - that worked, but i gained so much weight and i hated the feeling of being on medication, so I stopped. It's been two years since I've been off of medication and I find that my anxiety is back in full force - it is starting to affect my work / career again. I have an interview next week for a job so I went to the doctor to get the lowest dosage of ativan - just to take the edge off so my voice doesn't shake (it's obvously an important interview for me) - not sure if this it will work, but I hope something does so I don't look like a fool!

Anyway, I'm curious to know if anything worked for you eventually?

S.


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## professor (May 13, 2013)

*panic attack on public speaking*

Dear BobShishka,

i read your writing in this forum and i feel you. i am in the same situation and i was wondering to know if you still have the same problem or you are okay now? i have been comfortable public speaker and i dont know what happened to me, whatever you described is exactly what happened to me as well. please let me know if anything worked for you so that i also follow your steps to be fixed.
thanks.



BobShishka said:


> Panic Attacks hit me out of the blue, now I feel like a prisoner.
> 
> This is the first time I have talked about this...
> 
> ...


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## professor (May 13, 2013)

Sphinx666,

have you found any solution for your problem?



sphinx666 said:


> Hi Bob,
> 
> I know it's been a few years since you posted that note, but I just came across it. I have been dealing with the exact same thing since my early 20s - it was out of the blue - one event and I was never able to speak in public again. I went on Effexor xr 150mg for over 5 years - that worked, but i gained so much weight and i hated the feeling of being on medication, so I stopped. It's been two years since I've been off of medication and I find that my anxiety is back in full force - it is starting to affect my work / career again. I have an interview next week for a job so I went to the doctor to get the lowest dosage of ativan - just to take the edge off so my voice doesn't shake (it's obvously an important interview for me) - not sure if this it will work, but I hope something does so I don't look like a fool!
> 
> ...


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## MikeinNirvana (Dec 2, 2012)

professor said:


> Sphinx666,
> 
> have you found any solution for your problem?


I had those problems too, I know it's a repetitive thought that plays in your mind and gets in there when you less expected that needs to be blocked, but how? true, there is medications, but none all of them work right, after all this is what anxiety is all about, repetitive thoughts and more thoughts.


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## Panic Attack (Jun 14, 2013)

Hi guys and gals,

I know this thread was started several years ago but some of you have come across it intermittently after suffering a panic attack while conducting some sort of public speaking event.

I have also suffered with this anxiety for over 20 years. In those 20 years my fear of public speaking has been far, far worse than the butterflies in your stomach type of fear most people recognize. I'm talking about actual heart racing, unable to breathe, shaky voice/hands and out of body experience kind of fear which prevents me from speaking in front of others or remembering my name for that matter.

I recently had to excuse myself in a room full of people when the spotlight and the panic hit me. I could not speak, I could not breathe and I thought I was going to faint. My mind raced with how I could get out of this situation without just running out of the room. The thought of the embarrassment I was going through in front of managers and co-workers was far worse then anything I could have imagined for myself. The fear and the terror I had always imagined had finally come true. 

I excused myself and walked into an adjacent empty room. It was at this time that I had a sudden realization. I could do what I've always done and lie to others that I had something bad for lunch, a personal matter on my mind etc, etc. which is why I had to walk away. But then I remembered that what comes next is the slowly building fear that creeps up on me every minute after one of my panic attacks take hold. taunting me with fear about the next time I would have to get up in front of people and speak. The fear of that happening would paralyze me as it had so many times before for days, weeks and months. Not this time! I told myself.

I chose the only other path before me. To be honest with them and myself. I heard myself say, Just admit it damn it! I have an anxiety disorder shared by millions of people around the world and that includes at least one or two in my audience. When people started coming in to see if I was Ok and ask what was wrong, I told them the truth. "Folks I have a severe fear of public speaking and most of the time I can control it. Today is not one of those days."

The support was overwhelming publicly and privately. You would be surprised at the number of people who came to me afterwards to share similar experiences and their support. In turn I treated it just as a toe stub not a major collision and I did not let it control me. I immediately signed up for a local Toastmasters and found a therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders. Additionally I bought and read "In the Spotlight: Overcome your fear of public speaking and performing." By Janet Esposito, I highly recommend this book!!

I realized after 20 years the only way I have ever overcome anything in my life was to meet it head-on. If I just pushed it under the bed it was bound to re-surface and cause me severe grief. So while I work on myself, I want you all to know that there is hope. If you come across a moment of fear and terror while publicly speaking, just remember to say, Folks I have a severe fear of public speaking and most of the time I can control it. Today is not one of those days. Excuse me"

All the best,

Panic Attack


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## sphinx666 (Jun 18, 2011)

*no solution*



professor said:


> Sphinx666,
> 
> have you found any solution for your problem?


Hi Professor,

I just posted a message on another thread, because I'm in exactly the same situation I was in 2 years ago. I didn't even realize I had posted a message. I still take ativan when required, but now I'm reading up on beta blockers. Oddly enough, I have a super important interview on Monday and I'm right where I started. Apparently the beta blockers help with the physical symptoms - the situation has become debilitating for me, to be very honest.

I'm taking any advice - I need to overcome this. I've tried herbal meds, hypnosis, meditation - nothing works when it comes to that time you have to present. In fact my interview on Monday is with someone I actually know - and it's still affecting me.


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## nrelax11 (Jun 9, 2013)

This is exactly what started my social anxiety. I was pretty comfortable doing presentations and then one day senior year of hs, I got extremely nervous and things never returned to normal.


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## navaeqq (Aug 16, 2013)

I would like to break free of all meds though.


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## seb538pa (Oct 20, 2013)

Thanks for your text Panic Attack. And all others for sharing your experience. It helps a lot ! It seems we are not alone out there.

I would highly suggest not to take meds. Like Panic Attack say, we should face those kind of problems head-on. Susan Cain "Quiet" book helped me a lot to do that :
http://www.thepowerofintroverts.com/about-the-book/
http://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts.html

I'll get In The Spotlight asap.

Thx everyone.


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