# I fear I am mentally retarded



## Kanses22

People have actually once thought i was... I am crippled with this fear. Have been depressed for months, and binge eating. I have gained weight. I have stopped seeing friends. I feel stupid, I feel incompetant. I fear that even if i ask someone if they think i am retarded that they would lie and just say I'm not when i actually am. I fear it so much that if I am retarded I want to know and just learn to accept it. HELP!! how do i know?


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## axxs

u could take a test to find out.


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## Reprise

i don't think you are, its when your unaware your retarded, thats when you should worry


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## Shredder

Welcome to the forums  


 
I have thought this about myself at times. My brain refuses to work at certain times.... but it always happens around other people. That's not mental retardation although I get down on myself and feel that way.

I also like to learn my own way. I get confused and jumbled if people try to teach me... my brain works in metaphors and pictures. I never did well at school but I know I'm not dumb.

It can be pretty hard at times but I think it's all about learning to understand yourself... learning to like your uniqueness and not get so caught up on societies ideals... most of society is full of bulls**t and just bluffing their way through life as best they can anyway


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## Kanses22

I am definitely stuck in a depression. I went through a phase thinking I was crazy too... I was seeing a counsellor and she says Its just anxiety. But I booked an appointment with my doctor to get a referral to see a psychologist. I just need some peace on the matter. I always had a fear of being stupid... I don't have the most encouraging family which I'm aware of. But I want to take care of this fear once and for all :'( and if it's just anxiety... I feel retarded because of it; and I hate it


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## Reprise

sounds like your caught in a rut and it can be hard to dig yourself out of thinking a certain way, but yeh we can be our own worst enemy at times, even the most intelligent of individuals do stupid things, or think crazy things, so try not to reinforce the fears else they can take over you completely.


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## Yer Blues

Kanses22 said:


> I am definitely stuck in a depression. I went through a phase thinking I was crazy too... I was seeing a counsellor and she says Its just anxiety. But I booked an appointment with my doctor to get a referral to see a psychologist. I just need some peace on the matter. I always had a fear of being stupid... I don't have the most encouraging family which I'm aware of. But I want to take care of this fear once and for all :'( and if it's just anxiety... I feel retarded because of it; and I hate it


I've always felt insecure about my intellect, but I know I'm not retarded... I'm a div. Slightly above retarded.

You really don't seem retarded, just a bit paranoid which low self-esteem can make you feel.


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## riderless

We are all stupid in at least one area of our life. My brothers laugh at my lack of mechanical or handyman aptitude. I used to define myself by that but now I realise they have weak areas too.


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## i suck at life

i feel retarded all the time. its cuz i suck at talking. my brain processes things really slowly sometimes and i cant get the proper words out. and like sometimes i'll write a reply to a thread, and i'll re read it and i'm like what the heck did i just write. i make things so confusing by how i word them


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## zonebox

Kanses22 said:


> People have actually once thought i was... I am crippled with this fear. Have been depressed for months, and binge eating. I have gained weight. I have stopped seeing friends. I feel stupid, I feel incompetant. I fear that even if i ask someone if they think i am retarded that they would lie and just say I'm not when i actually am. I fear it so much that if I am retarded I want to know and just learn to accept it. HELP!! how do i know?


You are not retarded, and I am not saying that to be nice. If you were retarded I would go along the lines of how much I admire the struggles you have in life, and how despite your disability you survive.

You simply have a low sense of self esteem, if I thought otherwise, I would tell you otherwise. I will compliment you on your sense of humility, I appreciate that in people, it shows you are aware that you don't know everything, and I like that in a person - it is a rare quality, and I find it admirable.


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## typicalanimal

Being mentally retarded is not a bad thing.

Nobody who is mentally retarded should feel inadequate in any way. There is nothing to "fear" whether you are or aren't.


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## derpresion

Reprise said:


> i don't think you are, its when your unaware your retarded, thats when you should worry


im retarded and i know it

bt sometimes im super smart instead so its fine mayb...


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## Reprise

it takes a retard to know a retard, so yes let yourself be the better judge of yourself and label yourself one, that way i can keep on telling you your a retard and eventually it'll sink into your skull that your actually believe it enough to identify yourself as a complete retard.

As for myself i'd prefer the term "mentally challenged"


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## Kanses22

Alright thanks, that's encouraging. I feel a little pick me up, after doing my own research as well... though I am still going to see my doctor... Just a question; does anybody's brain seem to shut down or just find it difficult to think just because someone's talking to you?? I am still learning about anxiety, I'm not shy anymore though and yet have just anxiety.. - does that make sense to anyone?


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## Reprise

Kanses22 said:


> Alright thanks, that's encouraging. I feel a little pick me up, after doing my own research as well... though I am still going to see my doctor... Just a question; does anybody's brain seem to shut down or just find it difficult to think just because someone's talking to you?? I am still learning about anxiety, I'm not shy anymore though and yet have just anxiety.. - does that make sense to anyone?


all the time, im constantly having to ask people to repeat what they just said to me, my mind is usually some where else and not really paying that much attention, i find it difficult to keep up with the speed of ping pong, my voice reflexes are quite slow cause im to busy thinking of the next thing to say


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## typicalanimal

That's all completely normal. Nobody who can read and write at a basic standard and use the internet is retarded. In olden times, only the smartest people would have the ability to read and write. 

In modern times, people often have a huge incentive to put down "learning disability" or similar, because they can get lots of benefits and disabled perks because of it. So people who are just "normal" but took the wrong paths in life or something get categorized as that when they're not at all.


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## Mr Fluff

Kanses22 said:


> Alright thanks, that's encouraging. I feel a little pick me up, after doing my own research as well... though I am still going to see my doctor... Just a question; does anybody's brain seem to shut down or just find it difficult to think just because someone's talking to you?? I am still learning about anxiety, I'm not shy anymore though and yet have just anxiety.. - does that make sense to anyone?


It's not you, it's your anxiety.

Anxiety and depression cause your thought processes to go all wonky. Essentially, it chronically distracts you and, therefore, rational thought is no longer your brain's priority. So, someone depressed/anxious may feel a sensation of being less intelligent, even though they technically aren't. Does that make sense?
It all happens at a neurological level.

I felt that way when I was severely depressed/anxious about two years ago. It took months and months of healthy living for my brain to get itself sorted out.


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## pondhockey

Kanses22 said:


> People have actually once thought i was... I am crippled with this fear. Have been depressed for months, and binge eating. I have gained weight. I have stopped seeing friends. I feel stupid, I feel incompetant. I fear that even if i ask someone if they think i am retarded that they would lie and just say I'm not when i actually am. I fear it so much that if I am retarded I want to know and just learn to accept it. HELP!! how do i know?


Hey Kanses22,

The fact that you were able to write a coherent description of how you felt, and what you fear, definitely means you are not retarded. I'd say you are more socially uncomfortable. I am the same way where I feel awkward in everything I do that involves conversation with people. I feel like I come of completely wrong and people are left to guess at what the problem with me is. I literally went through HS with the inability to speak at times, when confronted by someone who I would consider in the "bully" category. Someone capable of meanness. One kid found my inability to speak and obvious discomfort funny as hell, surely thinking that I was retarded and proceeded to make "Yeti-like" sounds at me, to indicate what an idiot he thought I was. I still have moments where I second guess myself and feel awkward that people don't understand me--half the time they think I am retarded or gay because of the things that I am most comfortable with in life are usually reserved for those of the male gender---not fair (totally sexist), it feels hopeless sometimes because of the lack of understanding--people feel the need to categorize others into nice little compartmental stereotypes. i.e. If you like hockey--you like it because of the guys and their looks or something. Meanwhile, hockey and sport to me is like Tchakovsky, Mozart, or the writing of silky smooth authors like Hemingway. I am sorry it is hockey, but I find the skating and stickhandling breathtaking and am awed because I do not have the ability to do the same thing. 
In your case you fear that people think you are retarded, because of the social awkwardness, don't feel so bad about yourself. You don't deserve it--the self-torture--the doubt that you have in the way you are perceived is the worst hell you can put yourself through. Don't put yourself through it anymore, don't torture yourself with yesterday or past conversations that you might have perceived as awkward and made you "feel" retarded. Just relax and let yourself breath. You are not retarded--just socially awkward and self-conscious like the rest of us. At least we have a club for support  (High-Five)(Fist-bump). Take it easy on yourself--I think we all wish that we could know exactly how we are perceived by others at all times due our socially-anxious nature, it would really make us feel better about ourselves. Take Care.


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## Who Loves You

I do kind of hate the word "retarded" - but I will use it in this context, I feel socially retarded at the best of times. It strikes me that the world in a "social" place, so if you can't be social how do you even begin to exist in such a place?


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## millenniumman75

Kanses22 said:


> People have actually once thought i was... I am crippled with this fear. Have been depressed for months, and binge eating. I have gained weight. I have stopped seeing friends. I feel stupid, I feel incompetant. I fear that even if i ask someone if they think i am retarded that they would lie and just say I'm not when i actually am. I fear it so much that if I am retarded I want to know and just learn to accept it. HELP!! how do i know?


I don't think having a fear is like mental retardation.


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## inthewater

OP, I hope you're still around. I have to agree with most of the other people here. You are not retarded. Your writing is too coherent for you to be retarded. 

If you're like me, sometimes you feel like your mind doesn't work the same way others' do. I feel like my brain or my thinking is often glitchy. And I often do things differently than others do. I'm not stupid, but I get scatterbrained at times. It's just how it is. I still feel awkward about it, but I have to accept that it's how I am.

Therapy might help you to learn to accept your quirks and flaws. No one is perfect. You need to learn to work with what you have.


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