# Girls, would you date a guy that still lives at home?



## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

This oughtta be interesting.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

Uh, why wouldn't I?


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## cassieh (Mar 28, 2007)

I would consider it... if that I'm living with my parents didn't bother him.

My guess is that women in general wouldn't have a problem with it at first, but if there were no possibility of this guy moving out they might eventually be moving on, depending on the level of self-sufficiency they're looking for in a relationship.


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## emptybottle (Jan 3, 2005)

Of course I would. 

Even with a steady job, not everyone can afford to live on their own, so it's not extremely uncommon for twentysomethings to live with their parents... It could be a problem for women in general, though, if the guy isn't even looking for a job and seems content to leach off his parents and just hang out at his parents' house all day.


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## Illini_Pride (Apr 25, 2005)

Oh yeah! Some people still live with their parents because they are taking care of them. If that's the case with this guy, I'd love it! I'd hold on to him and not let him go!


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

I wouldn't care either way. :stu Most guys I've dated actually have still lived at home.


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## Xplash (Sep 28, 2005)

Its pretty common for people under 25(or even a little older) to be living at home still, so i cant see how this would be an issue to begin with.


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## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

I know next to nobody my age who still lives at home (23 years old). Hell, even the 18 year-old girl I just hired to my staff lives on her own. 

Fact is that I am paying my dad roughly $350/month to live at home when I'd be paying at least $800-1000 to even rent an apartment. 

There's that fact, and I'm just not ready to live on my own, financially or personally. Even as a retail manager, my salary would barely allow me to survive. Personally, I still feel like a kid who depends on parental support. Work is the only place where I feel like an adult. 

That all said, living at home at 23 is a pretty big stigma when it comes to even thinking about trying to find friends or a relationship. It just adds to the social anxiety.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

*Re: re: Girls, would you date a guy that still lives at home*



PGVan said:


> I know next to nobody my age who still lives at home (23 years old). Hell, even the 18 year-old girl I just hired to my staff lives on her own.


Where I work, everyone is pretty much in the 21-27 age range, and I swear it seems like I'm the only one who still lives at home. Part of my job responsibility is to take care of all the mail, and the return address on every piece of mail is that of areas in the city that are all apartments with young people. I'm the only person with a suburban address.

I don't know how people do it. If I moved out right now, I'd be hanging on by a shoe string each month financially.

I guess the only good thing is that I'm saving money like nobody's business by staying at home for my first year on the job. It should make for a nice down payment on a small condo somewhere.

...Kinda got sidetracked on the topic, but living at home has definitely effected my confidence when it comes to approaching women. I would feel like such a loser to admit to anyone that I still live at home. It seems like dealbreaker.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Ladies?! BLESS YOU 

Make sure we guys make it a goal to be able to support ourselves!


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

> Would you consider a relationship with a guy that still lived at home?


I've had several relationships with guys that still lived at home. This has never been an issue for me.


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

I'm 31 and still living at home but I don't consider myself a leech. I am employed full time and work 50 hours a week with a decent income, I pay my own bills, buy my own things, and manage my own affairs. My parents are old; dad is 72 and can't handle everything so when I'm not working I help them out as much as I can. I take care of things around the farm, drive them places, I've even given them interest free loans on two seperate occassions (both times I lent them over $5K) because they don't have a steady income and aren't able to work like I do. They aren't completely helpless, but they depend on me a great deal and I'm not about to turn my back on them and let them wither away or end up in a nursing home. Sure I'm embarrassed and ashamed to admit I still live at home but its not like I have a large social network of friends either. I've alienated myself from the few friends I have and its become obvious no woman wants to date me anyway so I don't have to worry about it much anymore. 
I can survive on my own; I can cook, clean, pay bills and function independently. Moving out and living alone isn't going to magically improve my social life and earn the respect of everyone around me though. If anything it will drive me even further into solitude. At least now I have my parents to talk to and my pets to play with. I think I would go completely insane if I lived alone. Once my parents are gone I'll have nobody left in this world who actually gives a damn about me.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Yeah, but I would prefer dating someone who doesn't live at home so we can have some real privacy and I don't have to worry about his parents or whoever else being in the way...same goes with guys who have roommates...


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

millenniumman75 said:


> Ladies?! BLESS YOU


I was just continuing the "Girls/Guys, would you..." trend of posts that have been coming up in here lately. :b


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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

It's an epidemic. Over 34 million US adults between the ages 18 and 34 live at home with their parents. The reasons vary from helping ill family members to just not being able to afford leaving home. It's so common these days, but in spite that I wouldn't go around announcing that I lived with mummy and daddy. It's just leeway in getting turned down. Maybe I'm wrong and people these days are more understanding..


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

My situation is a little different, though. It would be considered the family member area.


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## LonelyEnigma (Jan 7, 2007)

.....


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

As long as there is motivation to actively want to move out on your own - college, etc., then it would seem okay. Girls don't like guys with no motivation :no.

I do have a good job, though - I have for nearly three years. 
I am NOT a scrub. As TLC says...

_"I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy 
who can't get no love from me
hangin' out the passenger side 
of his best friend's ride
tryin' to holler at me" _ 

I have my own car by the way!


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

*Re: re: Girls, would you date a guy that still lives at home*



Futures said:


> PGVan said:
> 
> 
> > I know next to nobody my age who still lives at home (23 years old). Hell, even the 18 year-old girl I just hired to my staff lives on her own.
> ...


agreed.

i dont believe that the majority of women are ok with guys still living at home. it still has a negative stigma and i dont think it'll change in my lifetime. i able to move out and get my own place but im wondering to myself, "what for? i dont have a girlfriend and chances are, i wont have one. so what'll be the point?"


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## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

*Re: re: Girls, would you date a guy that still lives at home*



Strange Religion said:


> Yeah, but I would prefer dating someone who doesn't live at home so we can have some real privacy and I don't have to worry about his parents or whoever else being in the way...same goes with guys who have roommates...


What about your place?


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

I would have no problem with a guy coming to my place, but I'm ****ed too because I live with my mom and lil' bro'. 

...so it's like at least one of us has to have a place to ourselves...


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## opium43 (Mar 23, 2006)

*Re: re: Girls, would you date a guy that still lives at home*



Gumaro said:


> i dont believe that the majority of women are ok with guys still living at home. it still has a negative stigma and i dont think it'll change in my lifetime. i able to move out and get my own place but im wondering to myself, "what for? i dont have a girlfriend and chances are, i wont have one. so what'll be the point?"


i think your right. i think there is a social stigma attached with living at home past the college age, especially for males. for women i don't think it's a big a deal. but guys are percieved as losers. i moved out at 25, and i definately felt like "ok i'm 25 now i need to move on."


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## aviator99 (Nov 23, 2006)

I'd date a girl if she was living at home at age 25, maybe even 30...as long as she had a valid reason for it. Saying, 'Nope, not in school, no school loans, I just work here for the past 3 years' is pretty iffy to me.

But, if she was 25 or whatever, and, said she was still living at home because she's pursuing her Masters in some field, and is working and trying to pay off as much school debt as possible, hey I completely understand.

Same situation i'm in right now really. I'm only 20 (so theres very little stigma attached to still living at home), but have only been out of college a year so i'm paying off student loans and saving money.

But I told my parents that I want to have my own place by 23 years old...I just want personal freedom, like an apartment...start buying furniture, have my own space, etc. Bring some girls, or friends, or whatever to my apartment, have privacy and such. Can call some of my buddies, tell them to come over for a few beers at 1am, etc. Obviously cant really do that in your parents house.

I'd just like it to where, I do whatever I want wherever I want in my own place. Hey, get a girl, tell her to come over at 5pm for dinner or something at my apartment...thats something that you really dont want to do/deal with at your parents house. 'Hey mom, dad, a girl I met is coming over at 5pm for dinner'. Then I have to listen to a fiasco about what we have to make to eat, and a gazillion questions like 'is she cute! where is she from!' and blah blah blah...its annoying and I have no interest in listening to that. 

and Besides, how could you get close or cuddle with a girlfriend for example, at your parents house? Just seems weird to me. Like, what if we were watching a movie in one room, and I had my arm around her or something, we were munching on popcorn, then I can see my mom walking in with some bs question 'do you guys want something to drink?', 50% trying to be nice but 50% trying to see how we are as a couple/lovie towards eachother.

Ugh...own place, please, pronto.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

dez said:


> It's an epidemic. Over 34 million US adults between the ages 18 and 34 live at home with their parents. The reasons vary from helping ill family members to just not being able to afford leaving home. *It's so common these days, but in spite that I wouldn't go around announcing that I lived with mummy and daddy. It's just leeway in getting turned down.* Maybe I'm wrong and people these days are more understanding..


Yeah, but if you're living with your folks, whoever you're trying to date is gonna find out anyway. There's no getting around that.


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## Nae (Nov 10, 2003)

*Re: re: Girls, would you date a guy that still lives at home*

Amazing how cultures can vary. I watched a documentary on China and many men who live in the rural areas are moving to bigger cities for better employment and one of their biggest concerns is that they cannot stay at home and help support their parents.

In the U.S. we have a strong drive for individualism and while this is a good thing I am not sold on the idea it is the smartest to strive for one's own place ASAP. The freedoms are nice, but I have seen how much of a financial struggle it is for a friend of mine even with a 40 hour work week. Disregarding disabilities such as S.A., Living at home while still young and saving could be beneficial for long term financial stability. :stu


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

*Re: re: Girls, would you date a guy that still lives at home*



Lonelyheart25 said:


> I use to live on my own, but I moved back in with my parents when I started college. I get along well with my mother and father, and I don't want to be in debt when I graduate.
> 
> If someone would refuse to date me because I live at home with my parents then they are, definitely, someone I wouldn't want to know anyways. I would rather date someone who cares about me, instead of the superficial things I own. Things, money, and status come and go. Personally, I don't think gold digging or status relationships are a good idea. I would rather build a relationship based on true, unconditional love.


I agree.


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## Cosmin (Mar 16, 2007)

*Re: re: Girls, would you date a guy that still lives at home*



Nae said:


> Amazing how cultures can vary. I watched a documentary on China and many men who live in the rural areas are moving to bigger cities for better employment and one of their biggest concerns is that they cannot stay at home and help support their parents.
> 
> In the U.S. we have a strong drive for individualism and while this is a good thing I am not sold on the idea it is the smartest to strive for one's own place ASAP. The freedoms are nice, but I have seen how much of a financial struggle it is for a friend of mine even with a 40 hour work week. Disregarding disabilities such as S.A., Living at home while still young and saving could be beneficial for long term financial stability. :stu


Yes, this thing varies a lot. For instance, in my country, the median income is ~400$/month; of course, if you're at the beginning of your career you can have less. How in the world is someone supposed to afford living on their own with that money?


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

I have a related question that I've asked before but which nobody answered. I live by myself, have a job but I don't drive because of a phobia of accidents. So girls, would you date a guy who absolutely doesn't drive and whom you have to pick up whenever you meet? 

How about a guy that doesn't live at home but has a very small studio apartment with no bedroom?


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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

Strange Religion said:


> dez said:
> 
> 
> > It's an epidemic. Over 34 million US adults between the ages 18 and 34 live at home with their parents. The reasons vary from helping ill family members to just not being able to afford leaving home. *It's so common these days, but in spite that I wouldn't go around announcing that I lived with mummy and daddy. It's just leeway in getting turned down.* Maybe I'm wrong and people these days are more understanding..
> ...


 Depends on how long you've been dating the person. But it's not something I'd announce on the first couple of dates. Just don't get him to give you a ride home. Either that or tell him you live with space monkeys. :lol


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

*Re: re: Girls, would you date a guy that still lives at home*



aviator99 said:


> I just want personal freedom, like an apartment...start buying furniture, have my own space, etc. Bring some girls, or friends, or whatever to my apartment, have privacy and such. Can call some of my buddies, tell them to come over for a few beers at 1am, etc. Obviously cant really do that in your parents house.
> 
> I'd just like it to where, I do whatever I want wherever I want in my own place. Hey, get a girl, tell her to come over at 5pm for dinner or something at my apartment...thats something that you really dont want to do/deal with at your parents house. 'Hey mom, dad, a girl I met is coming over at 5pm for dinner'. Then I have to listen to a fiasco about what we have to make to eat, and a gazillion questions like 'is she cute! where is she from!' and blah blah blah...its annoying and I have no interest in listening to that.
> 
> ...


Your entire post is exactly how I feel. Although the whole part about calling up some girls and buddies to come over with beer at 1AM would be more wishful thinking than anything. I would actually need friends to do that, and that's a problem for me.

I did have my own apartment when I was away at college though...I seriously loved every second of it. I literally did whatever the F I wanted, when I wanted. I was the kind of the castle, so to speak. I got to call all the shots.

Even though I never capitalized on it like most people would with parties and all that good stuff, but it was still felt great to be totally independant.

It really sucked though when I graduated college and I had to revert to living at home again. And this were I've been for the last 4 years. Only now have I finally started to get back on my feet, and I hope to move out next spring. But that seems so far away.


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

I really would have no issue with it depending on a few factors. Around MY AGE (I am a relic in internet years) it would be highly unusual to find someone who still lives at home.

I think its great if someone is living at home and saving money and has motivation. If they have a job and help their parents there is nothing wrong with that.

It also depends on the kind of relationship someone has with their parents. If the parents are supportive I can totally understand living at home. If its a bad relationship I think its better for someone to live on their own.

Each case is different.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

dez said:


> Strange Religion said:
> 
> 
> > dez said:
> ...


Yeah, he could drop me off at the corner and I could walk home. :lol 
Well, a guy kinda knows somewhere in the beginning because some of the things you talk about in regular conversation and getting to know eachother is your living situation so I tell him I live with my mom and lil' bro' when it comes up. Plus when he calls, one of them might answer the phone so there's no hiding it.


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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

^ I use a cell phone for private calls. Plus my family is insane, I usually avoid bringing guests or anyone else over. I suppose little things may be revealed in conversations but no one will hold you at gunpoint if you choose not to talk about your living situation.


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

I haven't really had much of any relationships. I've never been in the situation to bring a girl home, at least, and I'm afraid to. It's bad enough I had to hear my mom having sex... I definately don't want my mom to hear me having sex.

I don't think too many women mind, though, and I don't really care if they do. It's not one of those things I think about. I just know that I don't want to live at home to begin with.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

dez said:


> ^ I use a cell phone for private calls. Plus my family is insane, I usually avoid bringing guests or anyone else over. I suppose little things may be revealed in conversations but no one will hold you at gunpoint if you choose not to talk about your living situation.


I still don't have a cell phone, it's not a priority. I guess I don't mind if guys know about my living situation. If they have a problem with it, they can **** off. I definitely wouldn't have anyone over though...awkward.


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## Zero From Outer Space (Jan 10, 2005)

dez said:


> It's an epidemic. Over 34 million US adults between the ages 18 and 34 live at home with their parents.


Of course there are plenty of 18-20 year olds still living at home so I would think that this statistic is a little too skewed. If you were to count people over a certain age (say 23 or 24) where they were generally expected to have a career started, graduated from school, etc, I would think that this number would be a lot lower.

It really isn't all that hard to move out once you get past the psychological anxiety of it. I share an apartment with two other guys and my monthly rent with utilities and everything is only about 300 dollars a month. That is less than one week's paycheck. A couple of years ago I never would have thought that it was possible, but I took a chance when the opportunity presented itself and moved out. I didn't really think about it at the time, but now I'm glad I did it and I think I am so much better off not living at home anymore.


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## bent (Aug 4, 2005)

I personally believe this statistic and I don't think the numbers would go down if you isolated later ages. Many people are actually returning to their parents' home after initially moving out because the economy is so garbage and real wages and benefits have gone way down. Many people also choose to wait much longer than in previous generations just to move out in the first place as well. This is happening everywhere in the developed world, not just the US. Some might still think that the "expectation" is the same as in previous generations but that is not the reality and that is why in fact many more people live with their parents well into their 30s now than in the past.


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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

Strange Religion said:


> dez said:
> 
> 
> > ^ I use a cell phone for private calls. Plus my family is insane, I usually avoid bringing guests or anyone else over. I suppose little things may be revealed in conversations but no one will hold you at gunpoint if you choose not to talk about your living situation.
> ...


 Keep in mind everyone has a different situation. Personally, my home life is not good and not something I want people to know about regardless of how limited a conversation on a date may or may not turn out to be. There are plenty of other areas that can be discussed in a persons life.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

I realize everyone has a different situation, I wasn't trying to make it like I'm passing judgement or anything. I'm sorry your home life isn't good. It just so happens (with me anyway) that it comes up in conversations. I don't make it a point to bring it up...it just happens. The guy might ask me if I live alone, etc and he will even tell me if he lives alone or with family, a roommate or whatever and if you're getting close to a person and going out on dates, seems like that type of stuff (living/family situation) will have to be revealed eventually anyway. You can't just hide it. Again, I wasn't trying to pass judgement or anything I was just talking about my own situation.


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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

Zero From Outer Space said:


> dez said:
> 
> 
> > It's an epidemic. Over 34 million US adults between the ages 18 and 34 live at home with their parents.
> ...


I don't have a link as the statistic was used in a debate but if you look into it you'll see recent demographic indicators show even more adults reside with their parents now than a few years ago between the aforementioned ages. I guess some people may hold expectations and feelings on this subject but that doesn't make it a reality. I'll reiterate what I said above that people have different circumstances; it's not easy for all.


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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

*Re: re: Girls, would you date a guy that still lives at home*



Strange Religion said:


> I realize everyone has a different situation, I wasn't trying to make it like I'm passing judgement or anything. I'm sorry your home life isn't good. It just so happens (with me anyway) that it comes up in conversations. I don't make it a point to bring it up...it just happens. The guy might ask me if I live alone, etc and he will even tell me if he lives alone or with family, a roommate or whatever and if you're getting close to a person and going out on dates, seems like that type of stuff (living/family situation) will have to be revealed eventually anyway. You can't just hide it. Again, I wasn't trying to pass judgement or anything I was just talking about my own situation.


 Yeah, I see you're point. It would be difficult to hide if you're becoming close to a person. Lying about it wouldn't be a good idea either. :con


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Nah, it just seems like one of those inevitable things that has to be addressed at some point.


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## Dudleyville (Mar 25, 2007)

I notice that in the U.S people from certain ethnic groups have a higher number/percentage of people who still live at home than others, like among Italian Americans, Asians, and Hispanics for example.


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## bent (Aug 4, 2005)

the number has increased substantially so obviously whites would be included.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Haha yeah, now it's turned into what races still live at home...*sigh*


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

I guess it would depend how much privacy the person has. Some people live with their parents but rent out the whole basement, so they do have a lot of privacy and thats ok, but if someone had a room just next to their parents, then i probably would not visit them very often :lol
Since i have my own place, it wouldn't really be a problem. We could hang out at my house all the time


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

OMG! If a guy had the _WHOLE_ basement to himself, I would totally be in there! hehe It's all about having some kind of privacy. A guy I'm considering "doing" only has the place to himself a few hours during the day and that is not gonna work for me, especially since I work midnight shift. When I get home, all I'm thinking about is going to bed, not getting laid. Anyway, so since I live at home too, we'd have to get a room or something. It's an inconvenience for sure.


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## eagleheart (Jun 14, 2007)

Um, doesn't bother me. I'm 21 and last semester I lived at home (with my mom only), and as far as I know I will again next year. So I think it would be dumb for me to reject a guy based on that... at least one very close to me in age...


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## Loner (Jun 8, 2007)

That's the sad truth. None of these factors, money, own apartment, good job, will determine whether women are interested in you. Until a year ago, I was a student living with my parents and earning just barely enough to keep me in sandwiches and cappucino doing part-time work. Then, my excuse for having no ltr over the past 6 years was that no woman would be interested in a 30 year old loser, who has neither money nor prospects.

Perhaps no woman would have been. However, no woman is interested in me now that I have my own apartment and make $100k. The sad truth is: no woman is interested in me, period.

Living at home is an excuse. Like wearing glasses or having pimples or whatnot. It's a nice excuse, though. Now that I can't think of any more excuses, I feel worse than before.

Of course, I know what women want. I'd want the same thing. Someone who is fun to be with, who is kind and whose interesting conversation makes the time fly by. That's not me (well, I am kind *he said in a self-justifying tone*). It never will be. The only things remotely under my control are whether I have rippling abs (lol, I don't), money and an apartment. On the one hand, it's too bad these things count for nothing with women. On the other, it's gratifying to see that women aren't that shallow.

Sorry to all who had to read this .


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## nesteroff (Nov 14, 2003)

It's not a big deal to me. I would do it.


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## eagleheart (Jun 14, 2007)

*Re: re: Girls, would you date a guy that still lives at home*

OT:



Loner said:


> Living at home is an excuse. Like wearing glasses or having pimples or whatnot.


But wait, I think guys with glasses are soooooooooooo cute. :yes


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