# Books - Your Favorite?



## Drew

Feel free to vote and/or share your thoughts in a post as well!

Thanks for sharing your opinion!


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## tiberius

Gillian Butler's Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness


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## Freedom2010

"Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" by David Burns


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## Dolly

What You Must Think of Me: One Teenager's Experience with Social Anxiety Disorder, by Emily Ford

When I read this book, it was like everything in my life finally made sense for the first time.


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## Spangles Muldoon

An excellent book:

Managing Social Anxiety: A Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Approach, Client Workbook, by Debra Hope et al.

If you are working through the workbook on your own, without aid of a therapist, you might consider also buying the therapist guide:

Managing Social Anxiety: A Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Approach, Therapist Guide, by Debra Hope et al.

You can read the first two chapters of the client workbook here:

Chapters 1 and 2 of the workbook


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## Drew

Spangles Muldoon said:


> An excellent book:
> 
> Managing Social Anxiety: A Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Approach, Client Workbook, by Debra Hope et al.
> 
> If you are working through the workbook on your own, without aid of a therapist, you might consider also buying the therapist guide:
> 
> Managing Social Anxiety: A Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Approach, Therapist Guide, by Debra Hope et al.
> 
> You can read the first two chapters of the client workbook here:
> 
> Chapters 1 and 2 of the workbook


I agree. Dr. Heimburg's books have some great material in them and a lot of credit is owed to him for the research he has done over the past 20+ years.


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## UltraShy

I've never read any of them. I try to avoid books. I don't seem to have the attention span needed to make it through a book, though if I were to read a book one on SA would certainly interest me vastly more than a novel.


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## Lifetimer

I voted for the category of "Other".

All those other books listed just address and treat the symptoms of social anxiety. The true core and root cause of our social anxiety (for most of us at least) is caused by toxic shame. Don't be misled by the name; toxic shame is not the same as "regular" shame. Toixc shame is life crippling. It is the source of most psychological conditions.

There are 2 excellent books by an expert on the subject of toxic shame. The author's name is John Bradshaw. Those two books are:

1. "Healing The Shame That Binds You" and, 2. "Bradshaw On: The Family"

Both of those books are about toxic shame and how it destroys your soul. If I was forced to pick only one of those books to read, I would choose the second book ("Bradshaw On: The Family"). However, I recommend reading them both.

Also, there are threads at this forum that talk about toxic shame. Here is a good thread: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f26/toxic-shame-the-core-of-our-social-anxiety-62843/

Lifetimer


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## Cured

I chose The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook because it deals with very many ways of dealing with anxiety. However I am a bit biased because it is the only one of the listed that I have read.

Personally, I don't think books work. It takes years to overcome social anxiety and only days or weeks to read a book. I recommend audio programs such as Dr. Richard's 20 week program Overcoming Social Anxiety. I started listening to it 2 years ago, I still listen to it... over and over and over. I consider it one (of the many) important things I have done to overcome my social anxiety. 

I still recommend reading as many books as possible. It keeps you focused on your goal and its always good to learn different perspectives. We are all different, there is no universal treatment or self help cure.


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## Jnmcda0

I've never read any of the books on the list. My pick is a book that isn't specifically about social anxiety, but rather about depression. However, because social anxiety and depression are related and often inter-linked, I think it is relevant. The book is called "Depression Is A Choice" by A.B. Curtiss.

Some might look at the title and strongly disagree. They think "how can depression be a choice?". No one would ever choose to be depressed. However, that is not what the author means. We can choose to control our minds instead of letting our minds control us. We can choose not to think the negative thoughts. It takes some practice, though, and the book explains how to do it.


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## tutliputli

I actually just received 5 different books I ordered from amazon about social anxiety and confidence - 
Painfully Shy - Barbara Markway
Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, and 10 days to great self-esteem, both by David Burns
Cognitive behavioural therapy for social anxiety disorder, can't remember the author
Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness, by Gillian Butler.

Have started with Painfully Shy which seems brilliant so far. It's nice to read something by someone who has experienced SAD themselves and therefore has a more empathic, and less clinical, view.


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## ecotec83

I just moments ago bought "The Shyness & Social Anxiety Workbook" have not read it yet but it seemed like the best one at the local store and very popular.


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## Haydsmom2007

I started reading "painfully shy" but I'm not going to finish it. Lol. I bought a book called "Goodbye to Shy" and I'm reading that and I just like it much better. Also a book called "conversationally speaking" which is just about conversation skills, but I'm reading goodbye to shy first. I've only read a couple chapters but I think it's helpful. Helping me change the way I think about things.


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## Procrastinator

I'm reading Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness by Gillian Butler. Seems quite good so far. I'm about 3/4 though and a lot of the book is about SA and I'm reading it and thinking 'yes, i can relate with this. But what can i do?'. Anyway I'll finish before I make my final judgement. Although suggested methods that work for some might not always work for others.


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## AlekParker

Hey I'm contemplating getting:
1. Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness by Gillian Butler
2. The Social Anxiety and Shyness Workbook
3. Managing Social Anxiety: A Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Approach, Client Workbook by Debra Hope et al.

I really want something has structured goals for therapy. Particularly CBT, systematic desensitization, gradual exposure, as in the behavioral aspect of Cognitive Behavioral therapy. Not particularly 'feel good' books (which i think are great for a foundation, but eventually we got to start to push ourselves a little), but stuff which I need to apply behaviorally in getting better. Really The best way is gradual exposure which makes me conquer f**ed up beliefs.

Anyone recommend one of these three? They all seem to be workbook or CBT type stuff. Any help would be greatly appreciated I'm at like 9/10 motivation wise in getting better at this point so now would be the time to take ACTION!!!


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## CopadoMexicano

Ive found the Anxiety and Phobia workbook somewhat helpful. but the audio program by dr. thomas richards really helped me the most.


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## VeggieGirl

O_vercoming Social Anxiety and Shyness is the only one I have read.
_


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## sean7phil

*Twelve Gentle Steps to Overcoming Social Anxiety*

My favorite book by far is *Twelve Gentle Steps to Overcoming Social Anxiety *

This book has helped me so much!


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## MindOverMood

My username


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## Belshazzar

I've been looking for research-oriented (i.e., synthesis of studies, history of classification) books on SA but mostly all I can find are ones that include it in a chapter on anxieties or as part of shyness studies in general. Do any of the above fit that description?


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## Drew

Belshazzar said:


> I've been looking for research-oriented (i.e., synthesis of studies, history of classification) books on SA but mostly all I can find are ones that include it in a chapter on anxieties or as part of shyness studies in general. Do any of the above fit that description?


Take a look at books by social anxiety researchers Heimberg, Hofman, Otto, Antony, etc.

Try a search like this:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=heimberg+social&x=0&y=0

For books like:
http://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Beh...=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274745509&sr=8-9
http://www.amazon.com/Social-Phobia...=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274745509&sr=8-4


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## millenniumman75

_Beyond Shyness: How to Conquer Social Anxieties_ is the book I have read of the list above.


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## F1X3R

My therapist recommended Mastery of Your Anxiety and Worry. About to start reading it.


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## lanzman

Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway, by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.


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## MobiusX

I hate self help books, so depressing to read that stuff. I rather see a professional, it's more real than sitting by myself reading.


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## StayStrong

"Welcome to the NHK" The novel

about a social recluse in japan.

It was eventually made into an anime.

Couple quotes from the book.. -"If I didn't escape from my life as a hikikomori soon, I would be socially laid to rest by the world forever."
-"I left my apartment only once a week, and then I'd just to go to a convenience store for food and cigarettes. My friends numbered zero, and I slept sixteen hours a day."
-"How could things have come to this? It was all I could think about"

You can read the whole book here.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/25288247/Tatsuhiko-Takimoto-Welcome-to-the-NHK

Trailer for the anime


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## A SAD Finn

I voted for _Feeling Good_. It has very practical information concerning the CBT. I also own _Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe_. That's good too but sometimes a bit heavy to read.


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## Cam1

http://www.youarenotyourbrain.com/book/

This has helped me so much.


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## J29Davis

I`m afraid of the people at large, I'm afraid when everybody is looking at me. Sometimes I think it's all because I'm a freak, so I vote for - Social Phobia: From Shyness To Stage Fright.


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## inerameia

I need to read more


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## alenclaud

Only one I'd read and liked (as far as I can remember) was Shy by Susan Caine. She also has a great Ted talk.


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## twitchy666

alenclaud said:


> Only one I'd read and liked (as far as I can remember) was Shy by Susan Caine. She also has a great Ted talk.


http://www.thepowerofintroverts.com/

Actually I meant Quiet by her

Not aware of any alternative. I have a few books on the go. Fiction. So handy using pad to flip between. Cool English teacher said he had a few going and it's healthy. Either finished or not yet. Any movie remains a snapshot in my brain and so valuable to revisit when prompted by TV reshows cos I recognise so much material I don't remember from start to end.


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## sabbath9

*Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life: The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) by Dr. Steven C. Hayes*



> Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) is a new, scientifically based psychotherapy that takes a fresh look at why we suffer and even what it means to be mentally healthy. What if pain were a normal, unavoidable part of the human condition, but avoiding or trying to control painful experience were the cause of suffering and long-term problems that can devastate your quality of life? The ACT process hinges on this distinction between pain and suffering. As you work through this book, you'll learn to let go of your struggle against pain, assess your values, and then commit to acting in ways that further those values.
> 
> ACT is not about fighting your pain; it's about developing a willingness to embrace every experience life has to offer. It's not about resisting your emotions; it's about feeling them completely and yet not turning your choices over to them. ACT offers you a path out of suffering by helping you choose to live your life based on what matters to you most. If you're struggling with anxiety, depression, or problem anger, this book can help-clinical trials suggest that ACT is very effective for a whole range of psychological problems. But this is more than a self-help book for a specific complaint-it is a revolutionary approach to living a richer and more rewarding life.
> 
> 
> Learn why the very nature of human language can cause suffering
> Escape the trap of avoidance
> Foster willingness to accept painful experience
> Practice mindfulness skills to achieve presence in the moment
> Discover the things you really value most
> Commit to living a vital, meaningful life
> _This book has been awarded The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Seal of Merit - an award bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.
> 
> _


I've tried lots of meds and CBT but nothing really helped me until I found ACT. This book is awesome. Other ACT self-help workbooks also help a lot. Dr. Hayes joined this website some years ago to promote some youtube videos and for a moment I thought he would actually become a part of our community and help us, but alas he quickly disappeared. It would've been great to chat with him, but I'm sure he's busy and thinks he's too valuable to spend time with us, oh well, can't really blame him. Dr. Russ Harris also has a great ACT book called "The Happiness Trap".



> *Amazon.com Review*
> 
> Trying to "change" negative thoughts through cognitive gymnastics is like trying to win a war single-handedly. Why waste a life trying the impossible? In _Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life: The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy_, advocate Dr. Steven Hayes escorts the mildly depressed, angry, and anxiety prone through a new approach to handling suffering--universal human suffering caused by language's illusions. Rather than fighting off bad thoughts and feelings with internal pep talks, Hayes beautifully explains how to embrace those pessimistic and foreboding mental voices (much like welcoming home one's cranky, play-worn children), "defuse" them with respectful attention, and commit to leading a purposeful life that includes their occasional ranting.
> 
> Intriguing exercises help readers identify their core struggles, parse these into manageable pieces, and develop effective ways to move beyond rumination. The work progresses easily, thanks to Hayes' engaging style and his grace in coaching readers. Critics of cognitive and behavioral therapies will warm to Hayes' logical explanations of language's pitfalls (even language used by other therapeutic approaches); his sometimes goofy--but surprisingly effective--exercises; well-timed etymology lessons; and his uncanny ability to predict and skillfully address reader reactions throughout the workbook. Ironically, the path to life clocks many hours in the mind; plan to dedicate an intensive month of introspection to this program. Anyone who has been accused of thinking too much, who begrudges compliments, pines for a different life, or feels trapped at a mental dead end can benefit from Hayes' superior guidance.--_Liane Thomas
> _


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