# Question for females on physique



## Ignivomous (Mar 31, 2008)

Is thinness ever an attractive trait? I don't mean the slim, toned, Johnny Depp thin, but more the frail, emaciated kind of thin. I'm naturally a fairly gaunt fellow (6 feet, 120 pounds), and while this isn't something that bothers me and isn't something I consider a defect in need of correction, my suspicion is that it is seen as a big turnoff. Due to my lack of interactions with people, particularly females, I've gotten very little input on what seems to be the most obvious physical quality of mine. Having been called "tiny" in the past and knowing that most people are attracted to average, fit builds rather than the extremes, I've figured it's usually seen as a negative. So I ask out of curiosity more than anything else. Can being skinny ever be seen as attractive? What comes to mind when you first take notice of someone who is aberrantly thin? Males can feel free to answer too. For instance, do you automatically associate skinny with weak? What type of physique do you find most appealing? Honest answers are appreciated; I'm really not going to take any offense if my suspicions are confirmed.


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## sno (May 27, 2008)

How about the other extreme?

Dudes who are overweight?

Me, i'm a big guy. (Really tall, too, so i weigh more than i look.)

You know, and certainly not like grotesquely obese or anything, just plain old` fat.

How do the gals feel about that?


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

You neglected to mention how old you are. That has a lot to do with it. When I graduated high school I was 6 ft and 130 lbs. I was still growing at that point. Within a couple of years I reached a stable weight of 160. I did not get any taller. I'm now 48 and about 10 years ago my weight started increasing. Metabolism slows down and the body works more efficiently. It stores energy instead of burning it all off. I'm currently about 195.

Although I like a variety of body types, I seem to prefer thin guys. Occasionally I also find myself drawn to someone that is larger. It depends on the individual. Sometimes I find someone physically attractive until they open their mouth.


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## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

I *think* like tends to attract like, but I know I'll get a lot of arguments. I'm skinny and I've always had skinny boyfriends. I've never been particularly attracted to heavier guys...just slim or skinny. But have you noticed that couples tend to be around the same weight???


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## Fanciful Unicorn (Jul 19, 2007)

NightinGale said:


> But have you noticed that couples tend to be around the same weight???


Ah, I disagree. I'm quite large and my last boyfriend was around Ignivomous's body type.

Skinny on a guy is more attractive to me then skinny on a woman.


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## Zen Mechanics (Aug 3, 2007)

i can't speak for the females on the forum, but i used to be about 6 foot 130 and then bulked up to about 170 and my attention from women increased 100fold. from what i've heard from a lot of girls that sort of super skinny look is as big a turnoff as being overweight.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

Fanciful Unicorn said:


> NightinGale said:
> 
> 
> > But have you noticed that couples tend to be around the same weight???
> ...


I have to disagree too. I think alot of couples, at least in Kentucky, don't really match, body-type/looks wise. I see so many fat women with little scrawny men, and fat men with scrawny women.
As for me though, I can be attracted to people of any body type as long as they aren't extremely overweight/obese. I've liked skinny guys, muscular guys and guys with just a little extra weight.


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

I'm definitely attracted to skinny guys. And I consider myself average - I'm not skinny, but I'm not plus-size/voluptuous.


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## not_so_cloudy (Jun 29, 2008)

Thin men can also be beautiful. not every female sees males the same way. I remember seeing this one guy, he was tall, very lean, and wore a suit. He had his own swagger, his own style and he rocked it. Being thin isn't a bad quality.


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## Ignivomous (Mar 31, 2008)

Amocholes said:


> You neglected to mention how old you are. That has a lot to do with it. When I graduated high school I was 6 ft and 130 lbs. I was still growing at that point. Within a couple of years I reached a stable weight of 160. I did not get any taller. I'm now 48 and about 10 years ago my weight started increasing. Metabolism slows down and the body works more efficiently. It stores energy instead of burning it all off. I'm currently about 195.


You're right, age does play a major role. I hadn't even thought of it. I'm in my mid-20s, so I don't expect to see any changes for quite some time to come, and even then not any major ones.

I also realize that personality and many other factors contribute to attractiveness, but I'm most interested in the lure of or aversion to a thin physique alone and what feelings or ideas are conjured up when first taking notice of someone who is very thin.



Zen Mechanics said:


> i can't speak for the females on the forum, but i used to be about 6 foot 130 and then bulked up to about 170 and my attention from women increased 100fold. from what i've heard from a lot of girls that sort of super skinny look is as big a turnoff as being overweight.


The responses so far seem to be pretty favorable and lead me to believe that I may be giving the issue more consideration than it merits, but experiences like this and often hearing that many women don't want a partner who weighs less than them still have me thinking that being skinny is most often seen as, if not a negative, a great disadvantage from the outset.


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

I think any trait that stands out, or is easily identifiable, will have its detractors. I also wonder if ZM changed his outlook and expectations when he put on some weight. My guess would be that he did, and that may have had more to do with the added attetion than the extra pounds.


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## quietgal (Oct 18, 2007)

I don't think thinness by itself is necessarily unattractive. There was one guy I met a few years ago who was tall and very thin, but the main things I remember about him that made him unattractive to me was his poor posture and kind of self-centered personality. I do think it's important to seem comfortable and at ease in your body, and to appear energetic and healthy. Also, I don't know if it's just me or not but I've noticed that in fact all the really thin guys I know have really poor posture, and that to me stands out much more than their actual weight. Or maybe it's just that when a guy has poor posture, I notice his thinness more?


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

> You're right, age does play a major role. I hadn't even thought of it. I'm in my mid-20s, so I don't expect to see any changes for quite some time to come, and even then not any major ones.


heh...you would be extremely surprised at how quickly they hit. I think I gained 20lbs between 25 and 28. And that again between 28 and 30. It's really easy to let yourself go during that time if you're not monitoring yourself carefully. Especially if you're all involved in a relationship and otherwise comfortable with having some extra pounds. All I'm saying is don't think you're immune to weight gain just because you're in your 20's. It sounds to me like you're about a year or two away from your first late-20's dose of reality.


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## danielk (Jun 4, 2008)

When I graduated high school I was about 150lbs (6'2"). I was self-conscious about my appearance even though I was athletic and fit. I was on DEP for the US Navy and the recruiters joked about putting rocks in my socks for when I got weighed.

Anyway, fast forward 18 years later and I'm 185. Now I have to be careful. Not too long ago I was around 240! Crazy how it sneaks up on you. I mean, how can 50lbs sneak up on you? :stu But, it did, and I lost the weight and got fit again.


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## C4120LYN (Jun 22, 2008)

i would say that the main reason that it is not considered physically appealing from a girl's perspective is mostly because we want to be the "smaller" ones, so if our weight exceeds yours, we feel uncomfortable. i suppose i shouldn't say "we" but that's how i feel personally at least.


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## LonelyEnigma (Jan 7, 2007)

C4120LYN said:


> i would say that the main reason that it is not considered physically appealing from a girl's perspective is mostly because we want to be the "smaller" ones, so if our weight exceeds yours, we feel uncomfortable. i suppose i shouldn't say "we" but that's how i feel personally at least.


That's the same way I feel, but from a man's perspective. I would feel uncomfortable being in a relationship with girl who was bigger than me.

Ignivomous, if you want to get bigger, try lifting weights. Even if you're a hard gainer, you will still get stronger and more cut. A powerful physique, big or small, lets ladies know you can protect her. Ladies like to feel safe when they're with a guy.


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## Zen Mechanics (Aug 3, 2007)

Ignivomous said:


> The responses so far seem to be pretty favorable and lead me to believe that I may be giving the issue more consideration than it merits, but experiences like this and often hearing that many women don't want a partner who weighs less than them still have me thinking that being skinny is most often seen as, if not a negative, a great disadvantage from the outset.


The thing is that 6 feet 120 pounds isn't just 'thin', or 'skinny', it sounds like dangerously dangerously underweight. i mean it's like asking a guy if he finds those super anorexic girls attractive, where you can see rib cages and stuff and i'm pretty sure no one does. just hit the gym man, and start eating a lot (of good food).


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

Depending on the person, I can find pretty much any body type attractive. But I am usually strongly attracted to slim men. I'm currently in a relationship with a guy about the same height and weight as Ignivomus. 

It's awesome to see lots of people supportive of a naturally thin physique on guys.


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## Ignivomous (Mar 31, 2008)

Zen Mechanics said:


> The thing is that 6 feet 120 pounds isn't just 'thin', or 'skinny', it sounds like dangerously dangerously underweight. i mean it's like asking a guy if he finds those super anorexic girls attractive, where you can see rib cages and stuff and i'm pretty sure no one does. just hit the gym man, and start eating a lot (of good food).


Regardless of how it sounds, I'm not at the extreme you seem to have in mind. Though I may be close, I don't quite have that malnourished or anorectic look. I have a very healthy appetite and overindulge when it comes to eating as it is. Thinness runs in my family. It's not something that I consider to be a problem or a source of shame; I am merely curious to know how many others in society do. I appreciate the advice and agree that I could definitely benefit from embarking on a weight training program, but even if I had the desire to try and make any major changes in my appearance, the sheer amount of work it'd take to overcome the genetics would make doing so seem a fruitless and wholly unpleasant venture.



Perfectionist said:


> It's awesome to see lots of people supportive of a naturally thin physique on guys.


Admittedly, I'm surprised to see so many say that it either doesn't matter or can be seen as attractive. It's assuring to know that this isn't necessarily going to be a barrier if or when I reach the point where simply talking to a female doesn't send me into a state of terror.


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

I've always been lean. I'm 6' 1" and back in high school I used to weigh around 180 and wore a 34" waist. Now I'm down to about 165 and a 32" waist is almost too loose on me. I have a very physical job that keeps me in shape so I never work out or exercise and I eat whatever I want but never gain anything.


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## Zen Mechanics (Aug 3, 2007)

Ignivomous said:


> even if I had the desire to try and make any major changes in my appearance, the sheer amount of work it'd take to overcome the genetics would make doing so seem a fruitless and wholly unpleasant venture.


like i said man i was in the same position as you, at like 130 pounds 6 feet. and i thought i had a healthy appetite and ate a lot, ie lots of fast food and huge plates of chips etc without ever gaining weight. but try getting 6-7 *real* meals a day, ie 6/7 bowls of pasta + a piece of steak or whatever and see how much weight you gain. anyone can gain muscle. it's a cop out to say it's pointless to try and gain weight because of your genetics, because myself and many others i know have been in exactly your position, ie super skinny and have started eating heaps and working out and have gained a lot of muscle. of course it's your call as to whether or not you think it's worth putting the effort in, but i promise you it will result in a lot more attention from women, same thing has happened to heaps of people i know.


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## SADFighter (May 4, 2007)

Zen Mechanics said:


> Ignivomous said:
> 
> 
> > even if I had the desire to try and make any major changes in my appearance, the sheer amount of work it'd take to overcome the genetics would make doing so seem a fruitless and wholly unpleasant venture.
> ...


Eh. For most of my life I'm been considered "thin" "lanky" even "skinny." I started lifting weights last semester and gained 10 lbs in under 2 months. Over the summer, though, w/o a gym and less food I've probably lost it all. When I was "skinny" I got attention, when I gained weight I got positive comments from people who knew me but the same attention...and same goes for now too. My outgoing friend was skinnier than I was (until we both started lifting) and it never stopped him from being a lady's man. I don't think being thin is a problem.


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## copper (Nov 10, 2003)

Lonelyguy said:


> I've always been lean. I'm 6' 1" and back in high school I used to weigh around 180 and wore a 34" waist. Now I'm down to about 165 and a 32" waist is almost too loose on me. I have a very physical job that keeps me in shape so I never work out or exercise and I eat whatever I want but never gain anything.


I wish I had your genes. The smallest wait I ever had was 36 and now I am up to a 42. I got to be very careful what I eat. At least I am not gaining anymore, but I wish I could lose. Approaching the age 40 isn't helping matters. My metabolism is slowing down.


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## jane (Jan 30, 2006)

6 foot, 120 pound man? It's called heroin chic. Roll with it.


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## colonelpoop (Jun 18, 2008)

For all the men on here who may be self-conscious about being slim, I can say that most of the women I know definitely prefer a slim men as opposed to a fabio type.

You need to keep in mind that women vary immensely in their tastes just like guys do. A lot of guys love big breasts, but not every guy does. Some women love muscular hot rod bods, but not all of them do.

If you're skinny, definitely work that to your advantage, skinny men can pull off many clothing styles that simply aren't flattering on a more buff guy.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/07/fashion/shows/07DIARY.html


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## eagleheart (Jun 14, 2007)

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2180/2418921011_0d61899e2c.jpg?v=0

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/42/111138158_334a628056.jpg?v=0

(Yes.)

Now, I'll spare you the story but don't be like my ex-boyfriend and tell me you can't believe that I like him. :mum


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## Michael W (Apr 30, 2008)

Drink slimfast (on top of your regular meals). Slimfast is usually used as a "food supplement" in place of regular meals for people trying to lose weight, but if you eat regular food in good sized servings AND slimfast, you can gain weight. I've also been told that a raw egg blended in with chocolate milk works too, I don't know how keen I am on the raw egg thing though.

I'm 6'2" 140 pounds and I'm trying to bulk up too. One of my supervisors gave me this tip and it's starting to work, little by little.


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## Zen Mechanics (Aug 3, 2007)

colonelpoop said:


> For all the men on here who may be self-conscious about being slim, I can say that most of the women I know definitely prefer a slim men as opposed to a fabio type. l


yeah but by slim they're probably thinking more 'brad pitt in fight club' slim as opposed to 'christian bale in the machinist thin' (and he was 6 foot 125ish in that)


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## colonelpoop (Jun 18, 2008)

haha, no dude, did you read the article?


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## Zen Mechanics (Aug 3, 2007)

i don't think the fact that they use rakes on the runway is reflective of what women as whole find attractive. are you telling me you find those 6 foot 50kg anorexic supermodel women they use attractive? they use skinny dudes on the catwalk cos they're virtually a walking coat hanger, not cos it's attractive.


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

I find it funny that the women who are posting on this thread are supportive of thin frames, but the men insist that women don't like it. :stu


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## colonelpoop (Jun 18, 2008)

Zen Mechanics said:


> i don't think the fact that they use rakes on the runway is reflective of what women as whole find attractive. are you telling me you find those 6 foot 50kg anorexic supermodel women they use attractive? they use skinny dudes on the catwalk cos they're virtually a walking coat hanger, not cos it's attractive.


women as a whole probably do prefer a more muscular man, but I am telling you that there is a good proportion of women who prefer the skinny physique. including my friends.

what's most important though is your personality and character, that should take precedence any day over getting worried about your figure.


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## jane (Jan 30, 2006)

This advice to men to bulk up, is almost as troubling to me, as advice to women on how to slim down. 

Where does our rigid standard of attractiveness come from (why are hairy chests popular in some decades, and smooth chests in another???), and why do we feel the need to conform to it? 

And some day, if you were convinced that you have met that standard, how will your life change? Are women going to flock to your side, people clamour to be your friends, bosses throw raises and promotions at you? 

I really think we'll be more satisfied if instead of trying to change our bodies, we try to change our attitudes towards them.


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## sno (May 27, 2008)

There's always this sense that there's no pressure on guys with regards to their looks, which is just utter nonsense.

Lots of stress.


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## danielk (Jun 4, 2008)

jane said:


> I really think we'll be more satisfied if instead of trying to change our bodies, we try to change our attitudes towards them.


I agree. Ironically, it seems more difficult to do that than to alter a genetic potential for lean body mass and muscular bulking ability.

There's an instinctual need to be competitive among members of the same sex. Both men and women have these feelings. Again, the irony is that we don't pay enough attention to the peculiar _needs_ of a potential mate. In theory that is what is most important.

I think humans are still struggling significantly with the relatively rapid change in society's complexities. We are all trying to catch-up!


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

i didn't read through any of the thread but yes it can be attractive. i find it much more attractive than really buff physiques. 'thiness' is a much more natural body type and i find that so much more attractive on guys.


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## arkityp (Jun 14, 2008)

i prefer skinny dudes. muscular guys scare me. i'm generally not attracted to any other type.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

bezoomny said:


> I find it funny that the women who are posting on this thread are supportive of thin frames, but the men insist that women don't like it. :stu


Because there is oftentimes a difference between what a woman says, and reality.


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## arkityp (Jun 14, 2008)

srschirm said:


> Because there is oftentimes a difference between what a woman says, and reality.


haha so true :clap


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## HangNail (Sep 1, 2005)

srschirm said:


> bezoomny said:
> 
> 
> > I find it funny that the women who are posting on this thread are supportive of thin frames, but the men insist that women don't like it. :stu
> ...


 :spit :spit :eek 
that just made my night lol


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## Mehitabel (Oct 13, 2006)

I certainly like a guy who has some weight on him. Not muscle weight necessarily, just something. I'd actually rather he have somewhat of a beer gut than be all skin and bones. That might come from me liking older guys, though.


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

srschirm said:


> bezoomny said:
> 
> 
> > I find it funny that the women who are posting on this thread are supportive of thin frames, but the men insist that women don't like it. :stu
> ...


pfff. I can't speak for womankind but I know that bezoomny tells no lies.


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## Zen Mechanics (Aug 3, 2007)

Btw when i say hit the gym to bulk up i'm not talking about turning into a super huge buff dude, cos most chicks tend to be just as turned off by that as a super skinny guy, or a super fat dude. it's all about extremes. i'm just talking about a lean/healthy athletic physique. like brad pitt in fight club or something.


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## colonelpoop (Jun 18, 2008)

I know what you're talking about and there are plenty of women who love that physique.

I'm just letting you know that there is an audience of women out there for the skinny dudes.


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## Cosmin (Mar 16, 2007)

-


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Ignivomous said:


> I'm naturally a fairly gaunt fellow (6 feet, 120 pounds)


That's just about identical to the dimensions of a guy that my female roommate in college had the biggest crush on (and eventually dated for a year+).

In polls though (so we're looking at most attractive ON AVERAGE instead of any particular girl), the most attractive physique seems to be a guy who is "toned" (not bulky, not really thin, but around average weight with lean muscle instead of flab).

Actually, the bulkiest muscular body type doesn't score too highly on attractiveness. Obese scores the lowest.


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## Snickersnack (Jun 21, 2008)

Cosmin said:


> Zen Mechanics said:
> 
> 
> > [...]like brad pitt in fight club or something.
> ...


If I were a figment of Ed Norton's (or anybody elses) brain, I guess I'd be all toned too. Or be a 6-foot bunny rabbit.


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