# is height really an issue?



## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

I'm 5'10 and considerably tall, generally I find taller guys much more attractive, but I've dated a guy who was the same height as me and I felt really ackward and out of place next to him when I wore anything other then flip flops. I have a date of a sort this friday and the guy is also 5'10, hes average built I guess (175 lbs), I'm 148, so I guess the weight issue does give a sense of false security. 
Question for the ladies, would you date a guy who was shorter then you? Its like this mental block for me that I cant shake off and find it very bothersome, but I hate to sound shallow because I'm anything but. I guess we've been fed the idea that men generally should be bigger/stronger by nature, and perhaps view woman as a weaker sex, I dont know. 
I think I'll just keep an open mind and enjoy myself.


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

Not the female response you were requesting but, if it makes a difference, I've never met or known any female that has preferred to date shorter men. In fact, the majority seem to have some sort of 'minimum height' among their requirements. 

I don't think it has anything to do with some sort of subconscious desire to feel 'weaker'. I think 'safer' or 'more protected' are more accurate terms. You feel this way for the same reason I feel proud and confident to have a shorter lady at my side. More importantly, coitus generally benefits more from a smaller female to male ratio.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

theres nothing wrong with having your own 'standards'. we cant help what we are attracted to


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## X33 (Feb 13, 2005)

:no


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

I don't care about height at all. My last g/f was just a bit shorter than me (I'm about 5'9" ) so she was fairly tall.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

I think height is an issue for a lot of women. Personally, I'm just around 5'1", so it's not like I have a huge pool of shorter men to choose from. I would date someone my height (and maybe an inch or so shorter), but I don't think I would feel very comfortable with someone much shorter. Mostly because three inches under me is dwarfism and that's a whole new set of difficulties. I think a lot of people (of both genders) have "standards" concerning height, so it isn't shallow at all to have your own preferences.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

I'm 5'8, and personality like shorter women, but that doesn't mean I'd turn down a taller woman. Hint hint. Hello, is this thing on? Oh la la.


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## colonelpoop (Jun 18, 2008)

I'm 6 "3" so I've yet to meet a girl who was a taller than I am.

I think tall women are absolutely gorgeous, there's a reason why fashion designers choose them to wear their clothes. A woman with a tall physique can have an elegance that doesn't come as naturally for shorter women.

All of us are different and unique in our own ways, you just gotta work what you got and use it to your advantage.


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## mountain5 (May 22, 2008)

Honestly, I'm drawn to taller women. They just have a certain physique, like colonel mentioned. My ex was 5'4" and even that was pretty short for me.

That said, I'm "only" 5 foot 9 inches. I'm not sure what it would be like to be with someone my own height. I've had a 5'9" woman and a 5'10" woman talk to me online, so apparently height wasn't a deal breaker for them.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

Height is not an issue for me at all and I have no concerns about dating shorter men. 
No one can control their height.


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## jellyfish (Jul 3, 2008)

I want a guy who is taller than I am. But I'm 5'2", so that's not really asking a lot in the first place. :lol I like the feeling of being tiny and safe and enveloped by luuurve.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

I cant change my height so I have what I was born with


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## jane (Jan 30, 2006)

Not for Carla Bruni and Nicolas Sarkozy....


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## shyguydan (Dec 30, 2004)

I have dated girls in the past that were taller than me e.g, 5"10, 6"1 and they didn't seem to have an issue, but I am around 5"8.


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## el33 (Sep 18, 2006)

I'm 5'6", so I'm considered short.

Things I've observed:

- Even a lot of short women (like 5'1", 5'2", etc.) want guys who are *significantly* taller than them - as in 5'8", 6"0+, etc. Unlike some of the posters here, a lot of short girls seem to want men who are tall by the standards of general society, not merely taller than themselves.

- Heels make things a lot harder for short guys, because often times a girl's requirements are not just "taller than me", but "taller than me when I'm wearing heels". So I'm not considered "taller" than that 5'4" girl anymore because she's the same height as me in heels.

Out of all the things short of gross physical deformities that disqualifies someone as dating material, I think height is the most cruel. It's one of the very few things that you absolutely can't change, yet you're judged upon it. You can lose weight. You can change your personality. You can get rich. You can even get plastic surgery. But you can't change your height, period, short of praying that 50 years down the road they'll have lifelike robotic bodies you can transplant your brain into.

That said, since you can't change it, you might as well live with it the best you can.


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

:yay


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## roverred (Dec 23, 2007)

5 6" is short? What you guys complaining about? i'm 5 3" with shoes on. I've never been insecure about my height though. I dont care if the girl is taller than me unless she towers over me.


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## el33 (Sep 18, 2006)

roverred said:


> 5 6" is short? What you guys complaining about? i'm 5 3" with shoes on. I've never been insecure about my height though. I dont care if the girl is taller than me unless she towers over me.


Average male height in the US is 5'8" if I'm not mistaken. So yes, 5'6" is "below average", aka short =P.

Besides, pretty much every girl breaks 5'6" when wearing heels.


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## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

thanks all, I hate the stigma that attached to the concept of height, such a burden really. 
I ended up hanging out with this guy and we really hit it off, after couple hours of just talking and getting to know each other, I pretty much forgot about his height. So at this point, its not really an issue.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Tom Cruise was married to Nicole Kidman for nearly 10 years, even though she drawfed him when she wore heels and was I think 2" taller than him even without shoes.

At 6' there aren't a lot of women taller than me, so it's not much of an issue. I did once meet a 6'3" woman and felt rather odd looking up at her when I talked.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

el33 said:


> I'm 5'6", so I'm considered short.


Same height as Bruce Dickinson, lead singer of Iron Maiden. You don't notice his height until he stands next to the other band members who are all taller than him.

He seems to have done pretty well despite being "short, hairy, and British" as he described himself in an interview.


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## el33 (Sep 18, 2006)

UltraShy said:


> el33 said:
> 
> 
> > I'm 5'6", so I'm considered short.
> ...


I could list a parade of rich, famous, and/or powerful men who are as short or shorter than I. But they are rich, famous, and/or powerful.

The whole issue with height is that a taller man = more power. But who is more powerful? The starving 6'3" burger guy at McDonalds or the 5'4" multimillionaire?

It's interesting where the line is drawn where male power is implied at the individual level (i.e. height) vs. the social level (i.e. wealth, clout, followers, etc.)

Even in ancient times, there probably was some demarcation on the "attractiveness" of the 6'3" barbarian warrior vs. the 5'4" king who could order an army to go deal with said barbarian warrior.


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## dax (Nov 19, 2004)

Personally I would never date anyone taller than me. I wouldn't mind dating a girl who was the same height has me if she didn't where heels- but I would feel weird if she did when we went out and then towered over me. I prefer smallish girls in the 5'1" to 5'4" range. I an about 5'9" myself.


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

I'm 5'10'', so I learned early that height is a non-issue. Very very few men are taller than me when I'm in heels. It's a silly thing to pick out people by, anyway.


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

i'm 5'2". i've liked short and tall guys. shortness i've met was probably 5'4", so i've never known any shorter than me but i definitely wouldn't immediately disclude them because of that.
it would feel a bit weird though since i'm always the shortest one around people, but i don't see it as being unattractive at all.


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## jellyfish (Jul 3, 2008)

Actually there is a surgery that will make you taller, but it's very expensive and painful, and I'm sure it leaves nasty scars. In China, people get it done when they are a bit too short to qualify for a job they want (eg., firefighter or stewardess). Definitely not recommending it, but then I wouldn't recommend any of that other stuff, either. It would always make me feel icky if I thought that the person I was with wouldn't like me if I was my natural self, whether that meant being short, poor, ugly or fat.


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## Zen Mechanics (Aug 3, 2007)

i'm 6 fooot and prefer girls who are 5'2-5'4. i think like 5'8 would be my upper limit


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## el33 (Sep 18, 2006)

jellyfish said:


> Actually there is a surgery that will make you taller, but it's very expensive and painful, and I'm sure it leaves nasty scars. In China, people get it done when they are a bit too short to qualify for a job they want (eg., firefighter or stewardess). Definitely not recommending it, but then I wouldn't recommend any of that other stuff, either. It would always make me feel icky if I thought that the person I was with wouldn't like me if I was my natural self, whether that meant being short, poor, ugly or fat.


I've heard about it too. I think they literally break your leg bones and extend them, or something along those lines. I'm I'm not mistaken, it's only available and/or legal in certain countries whose medical reputations are questionable, and even there it's considered a somewhat shady hokey practice that most doctors don't want to partake in.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

I've only had two crushes, and one was a girl who was three inches taller than me (I'm about 5'5"). The other was an inch shorter than me. I don't weigh height as hugely important compared to other factors.


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

One time I couldn't escape an after hours work thing and one of the women drank a bit much and started critiquing the appearance of all the men present. Knowing the pain of being objectified in such a coarse manner, all the other women there egged her on. 

When it got to me she told me I was quiet (surprise), dressed too plainly (I actually was surprised), was losing my hair (again, big assed surprise) but "at least you're tall". I felt all tingly.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Atticus said:


> One time I couldn't escape an after hours work thing and one of the women drank a bit much and started critiquing the appearance of all the men present.


:rofl :rofl :rofl

Now there's a good way to improve working relationships!


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## bent (Aug 4, 2005)

It's usually the most psychologically basic and uninteresting women who are particularly interested in tall men. It's one step beyond just shallow.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

Atticus said:


> One time I couldn't escape an after hours work thing and one of the women drank a bit much and started critiquing the appearance of all the men present. Knowing the pain of being objectified in such a coarse manner, all the other women there egged her on.


You work with some wonderful sounding females.

Height isn't an issue with me, but for women who prefer tall guys, can they ever be too tall? I'm curious.


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## coldmorning (Jul 4, 2007)

You should not feel guilt over having a height preference. It's no different than when a guy prefers someone for looks, body type, etc.


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## tiberius (Feb 9, 2007)

I read about a study saying the optimal male/female length ratio for long-lasting relationships is 1.09. So if I'm 179cm (5'10) my optimal lady would be around 164cm (5'5). Sounds about right


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

tiberius said:


> I read about a study saying the optimal male/female length ratio for long-lasting relationships is 1.09. So if I'm 179cm (5'10) my optimal lady would be around 164cm (5'5). Sounds about right


Do you have access to that study?

The major factor that I find suspicious is that the ratio is essentially just the overall population height ratio of men to women (5'10" and 5'5" are averages in many countries, for instance). If there was a ratio that did not conform to the typical height ratio of male to female, it would be interesting, but that just sounds like picking up on what is most biologically common and saying that it is somehow beneficial apart from this.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Perfectionist said:


> Atticus said:
> 
> 
> > One time I couldn't escape an after hours work thing and one of the women drank a bit much and started critiquing the appearance of all the men present. Knowing the pain of being objectified in such a coarse manner, all the other women there egged her on.
> ...


I'm eight foot ten, and the women say the only thing to make me more attractive is if I was a bit taller... into ogre territory.


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

ardrum said:


> Perfectionist said:
> 
> 
> > Atticus said:
> ...


Yeah, I'm pretty sure you have to be 9 feet tall to be classified as an ogre.

We have a troll emoticon >>> :troll

so why no ogre?? :sus


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## tiberius (Feb 9, 2007)

ardrum said:


> tiberius said:
> 
> 
> > I read about a study saying the optimal male/female length ratio for long-lasting relationships is 1.09. So if I'm 179cm (5'10) my optimal lady would be around 164cm (5'5). Sounds about right
> ...


Here's a link: http://www.jstor.org/pss/3558774 
Unfortunately only the first page is available for free.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

tiberius said:


> I read about a study saying the optimal male/female length ratio for long-lasting relationships is 1.09. So if I'm 179cm (5'10) my optimal lady would be around 164cm (5'5). Sounds about right


What a nice study. What does that say for males under 5'5"? A male who's 5'2" would need to seek out a female who's around 4'4".


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Just Lurking said:


> tiberius said:
> 
> 
> > I read about a study saying the optimal male/female length ratio for long-lasting relationships is 1.09. So if I'm 179cm (5'10) my optimal lady would be around 164cm (5'5). Sounds about right
> ...


I calculated it at 4'9" for the female if a guy was 5'2". 57 inches x 1.09 = 61 inches.

5'5" guy , 5'0" gal or so.

In any case, remember that this is a recognized tendency among humans with aggregate data rather than The Rule for each and every person.

Thanks for the link to the study. It's too bad there's just the first page. Right when things were getting interesting, cut off. :lol


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

^ Oh yeah you're right. I've failed at conversion. Bloody annoyance anyway, feet, cm, inches, meters - we wouldn't want to go to one unit or anything!

4'9" though, still doesn't do much for shorter guys.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Just Lurking said:


> 4'9" though, still doesn't do much for shorter guys.


Haha, true. Not exactly a huge pool there.


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## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

I'm 5'5", 145lbs and all I gotta say is you're missing out! =)

And if it's a matter of security, most big guys never even get into fights because people are always scared of them, so when it comes time to put up or shut up they get rocked. Little man with the Napoleon complex is the way to go. Hah.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

sean88 said:


> I'm 5'5", 145lbs and all I gotta say is you're missing out! =)
> 
> And if it's a matter of security, most big guys never even get into fights because people are always scared of them, so when it comes time to put up or shut up they get rocked. Little man with the Napoleon complex is the way to go. Hah.


Haha, nice.


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## ANCIENT (Aug 9, 2005)

ardrum said:


> sean88 said:
> 
> 
> > I'm 5'5", 145lbs and all I gotta say is you're missing out! =)
> ...


5' 5" people kick ***.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Well then my foot is up some major ***! I'm so 5'5".


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

ardrum said:


> Just Lurking said:
> 
> 
> > 4'9" though, still doesn't do much for shorter guys.
> ...


Guys!!! I found a place where we might get a date!

http://www.littlepeoplemeet.com


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

^^ Do they ban people above 5'0?


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

Hmm... I dunno, but their spokesman appears to be the dwarf version of David Schwimmer, so it's gotta be good. :lol


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

Equisgurl said:


> I guess we've been fed the idea that men generally should be bigger/stronger by nature, and perhaps view woman as a weaker sex, I dont know.
> I think I'll just keep an open mind and enjoy myself.


There is lots of shorter guys who are built like tanks though and then tall guys who are sticks. Just don't date sticks, because they can't protect you.


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## Zen Mechanics (Aug 3, 2007)

what if they have a gun?


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Zen Mechanics said:


> what if they have a gun?


 :ditto

By the way, I find it hard to imagine having a strong desire to find someone to "protect" me. To feel so vulnerable all the time, such that personal protection is one of the main concerns in mate selection...ugh, I'm glad I'm not a female. :lol


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

Big guy with gun > skinny guy with gun

Right? 

Also, anybody could have a gun. The chick could have a gun and not need a man altogether. Most physical confrontations don't come down to fatal shootings.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Right... the mere threat of shooting can be enough. :lol


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## X33 (Feb 13, 2005)

Prodigal Son said:


> Equisgurl said:
> 
> 
> > I guess we've been fed the idea that men generally should be bigger/stronger by nature, and perhaps view woman as a weaker sex, I dont know.
> ...


Aww.... I am a stick! Or as my brother says a matchstick, with its black top representing my head. :lol


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Equisgurl said:


> I think I'll just keep an open mind and enjoy myself.


oh my :blush


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## coldmorning (Jul 4, 2007)

Prodigal Son said:


> Big guy with gun > skinny guy with gun
> 
> Right?


Skinny guy has less surface area and thus is less likely to get hit with a bullet in a shootout between them. So I'll go with the skinny guy with gun.


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## batman can (Apr 18, 2007)

coldmorning said:


> Prodigal Son said:
> 
> 
> > Big guy with gun > skinny guy with gun
> ...


From a girls point of view 'Big guy with gun' means she's less likely to get hit, lol.


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## arkityp (Jun 14, 2008)

i like guys taller than me as it can make me feel overweight otherwise. not usually a problem because i'm only 5'4!


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

batman can said:


> coldmorning said:
> 
> 
> > [quote="Prodigal Son":wbzmt9n3]Big guy with gun > skinny guy with gun
> ...


From a girls point of view 'Big guy with gun' means she's less likely to get hit, lol.[/quote:wbzmt9n3]

True, they make better human shields. Plus if the guy is skinny and tall, still a large target and surface area to hit.


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## el33 (Sep 18, 2006)

The gun doesn't even register.

Stuff like that works at the primal/feral level, where the only thing matters is one's physical self and social status (since humans are social animals).

The short guy could literally have a battle tank, but women will still "feel more protected" by the tall guy who has nothing but his fists.


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

If the tall guy is a twig she can toss around, I doubt it. I think it is more about social standards rather than feeling protected though.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

coldmorning said:


> Prodigal Son said:
> 
> 
> > Big guy with gun > skinny guy with gun
> ...


Hmm... good point. He could hide behind trees really well too. :yes


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