# Just so feckin unattractive



## Mr. Orange (Apr 20, 2008)

Does anyone feel they are just the most unattractive person to the opposite sex? I feel like no female could be attracted to me sometimes. Everywhere I go the girls seem to barely have any interest in even talking to me or anything like that. I try to start conversations, be nice and friendly, but people respond by being cold and distant. The girls at work, for instance, flirt with this other guy who works there all the time, and with me they barely even talk to me. I am a ****in ghost to them. I get no attention whatsoever in this department, I know looks aren't everything, but it feels like everything is skin deep, I just feel that ugly sometimes. Maybe I have a face only a mother could love. **** it.


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## amysagirl (Jul 14, 2008)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*

It's all about confidence.


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

*Re: Just so ****in unattractive*

I hate when people say that.


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## jane (Jan 30, 2006)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*

I am @#%& adorable, and believe me, it just doesn't matter when you're shy and anxious.


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## colonelpoop (Jun 18, 2008)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*

Just need to work on the confidence.

I know plenty of goofy mother *uckers who have very attractive girlfriends.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*

I know the feeling - part of it is putting yourself out there.


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## Superman23 (Jul 6, 2008)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*

Most dudes are into looks

Most women are into personality and confidence

You can be a male model but if you dont have any confidence or "game" you wont get too far with the ladies

Put it like this, its like buying a car. Dudes are more concerned about how fast it goes and what it looks like. Women are mostly concerned with the luxuries and how comfortable it makes them

Thats one of the reasons people put so much into what they drive. It usually tells a lot about who they are. I drive a black 94' Camaro that needs a few repairs to be restored and thats about where Im at in real life


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

*Re: Just so ****in unattractive*

I know the feeling. I often times feel invisible to women as well despite believing that I'm slightly above average looking. But I guess that's not good enough.


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## Johnny_Genome (Nov 11, 2003)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*

Unattractiveness is rarely the issue when you have SA.


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## dax (Nov 19, 2004)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*



Smooth_Orange_Crush said:


> Does anyone feel they are just the most unattractive person to the opposite sex? I feel like no female could be attracted to me sometimes. Everywhere I go the girls seem to barely have any interest in even talking to me or anything like that. I try to start conversations, be nice and friendly, but people respond by being cold and distant. The girls at work, for instance, flirt with this other guy who works there all the time, and with me they barely even talk to me. I am a @#%$ ghost to them. I get no attention whatsoever in this department, I know looks aren't everything, but it feels like everything is skin deep, I just feel that ugly sometimes. Maybe I have a face only a mother could love. @#%$ it.


Its not your looks- you've posted your picture and you are a good looking guy- I think you just need to take little steps ya know, work you way into starting conversations. Just think of random things to say, you know like oh man that last customer was such a douche blah blah something you can both relate to- and just sorta make your presence known- and once you get on those terms, keep just saying small things. Screw the people that ignore you and focus on the people who are friendly. A lot of people don't initiate conversation with people they don't know, even if they are outgoing or normal. It's prob just that.

But I know what ur talking about feeling unattractive- its a constant with me, I'm self-conscious and thinking about my looks 24/7. Its something that bothers me a lot and it prevents me from talking to a lot of people.


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## Peace99 (May 27, 2008)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*



jane said:


> I am @#%& adorable, and believe me, it just doesn't matter when you're shy and anxious.


That is true. Confidence helps. There tons of ugly guys out there with hot chicks. Looks don't matter man.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

*Re: Just so ****in unattractive*

Yeah, just be glad you're looking for female attention. With males, looks do matter.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*

Yeah, just our wonderful personalities. And confidence. We have it in spades.

****ing hopless agreed to those who agree to agree.


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

*Re: Just so ****in unattractive*

I'm sorry, but anyone who says looks don't matter is a liar.


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## Peace99 (May 27, 2008)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*



LostInReverie said:


> Yeah, just be glad you're looking for female attention. With males, looks do matter.


Not necessarily. I would rather have a good looking girl with a good personality(kind, smart, etc). Than to be with a girl who is a ***** and hot.


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## odun (Nov 9, 2003)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*

im ugly as sin.

but im also smart and very well...opinionated.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*



Peace99 said:


> LostInReverie said:
> 
> 
> > Yeah, just be glad you're looking for female attention. With males, looks do matter.
> ...


I didn't say it was the most important thing, I said it mattered. Such as, you would rather be with the hot ***** than the girl you were compatible with yet were repulsed by physically.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*

^Well, he'd rather have the good looking (physically attractive) girl with the good personality, than the hot (physically attractive) girl with the ****ty personality.

Duh.


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## RubyTuesday (Aug 3, 2007)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*

Hmmm ...I think this exchange is starting to get a little ugly.

Me personally: I'm not interested in "most guys" anyway. ...So even if there's truth to "men are visual creatures" ...I figure, I'm not going to bother following "most peoples'" values.

This is just cos most people don't really HAVE values -they just blindly follow everybody else. I'd rather create my own values based on something with substance, being that it's particular to me.

Perhaps that's why a lot of men cheat: because if relationships are based on things that are going to change with time (and we are living even longer but still aging) then it's sort of not worth as much as it may seem initially.

Anyhow, I have a cousin who's never been so physically attractive but she is married to a lovely guy.


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## colonelpoop (Jun 18, 2008)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*

As a guy I will vouch that men are pretty visual.

The good men value looks just as much as personality though.


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## RubyTuesday (Aug 3, 2007)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*



colonelpoop said:


> As a guy I will vouch that men are pretty visual.
> 
> The good men value looks just as much as personality though.


Hmmm ...if that's true, then I'm pretty put off!! :lol

50/50, I spose is not so bad.... but even that's kinda not what I'd look for, since, I'd bother only with 60/40 -at the least! And probably, I'd probably only really go for 70/30...(focussed on personality compatability/focussed on looks)

I just wouldn't want a romantic relationship in which personality and chemistry doens't come out on top. ...I don't mind if people are persuaded by looks to some extent -I just wouldn't be interested in an intimate relationship with someone with whom it was essentially impossible to be truly intimate with. -I'd rather just be friends. :stu :lol


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## Zen Mechanics (Aug 3, 2007)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*



njodis said:


> I'm sorry, but anyone who says looks don't matter is a liar.


agreed. and that goes for both sexes. sure maybe 30-40 year old women don't care so much about looks and more about wealth/standing/confidence blah blah, but all the 18-25+ year old girls i know go on just as much about guys looks as guys do about girls. *insert famous ugly person here with hot girlfriend* is hardly an example proving otherwise cos of course if you're world famous you're gonna get chicks no matter what you look like. but for a normal dude looks do matter. from what i've seen of who hooks up with who at clubs/bars/parties etc it's always a good looking dude who gets the good looking girl. why would a hot girl choose an ugly guy with confidence when she can have a good looking guy with confidence instead?


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## Vincenzo (Sep 24, 2005)

*Re: Just so ****in unattractive*

The famous ugly person with a hot girlfriend is a bad example because most of the time said girlfriend is rich and famous too. Also, I don't get why looks are the first thing guys on this forum blame for their lack of action. I'm shy and have zero game, why aren't I getting laid? Must be my looks.

I can't believe no one else has witnessed the effect of confidence first hand. I have a friend who is a ****ing monster. He could stare down the very hounds of hell with his abominable features, but he is brimming with self confidence because when he was a child his parents told him to hold his head high and never second guess himself and he was too unintelligent to question them. Now he can brazenly approach girls with no self doubt whatsoever, and he gets a respectable amount of sex because the girls see his ridiculously misplaced self confidence as an alpha male quality. Meanwhile, I almost never get laid because I have no game and need girls to make it embarrassingly obvious that they like me so there is absolutely no chance of rejection.

I want to die.


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## Zen Mechanics (Aug 3, 2007)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*

I've witnessed the effect of confidence. I'm just saying good looks + confidence > ugly + confidence. for all the people saying girls don't care about looks it's just not true,

on the other hand ugly with confidence > ugly with no confidence so confidence is never a bad thing


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## Vincenzo (Sep 24, 2005)

*Re: Just so ****in unattractive*

Yeah, but confidence is more important than looks, such that

Ugly with confidence > Good looking with zero confidence


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## RubyTuesday (Aug 3, 2007)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*



Zen Mechanics said:


> I've witnessed the effect of confidence. I'm just saying good looks + confidence > ugly + confidence. for all the people saying girls don't care about looks it's just not true,
> 
> on the other hand ugly with confidence > ugly with no confidence so confidence is never a bad thing


...I won't argue that you don't have some point, there, ZM. But I still think that it's more common for men to pay more attention to such things. 
And probably, when both genders age, there are differences that denote what people tend to go for (e.g. you mentioned men being judged by their wealth)

Even a study done showed that men will accept a lack of social skills in a woman more if she has good looks; and women were a little more biased towards the man having a good social life.


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## Zen Mechanics (Aug 3, 2007)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*



Vincenzo said:


> Yeah, but confidence is more important than looks, such that
> 
> Ugly with confidence > Good looking with zero confidence


it's a sliding scale though. who would a girl choose between a brad pitt lookalike who was really shy/reserved/no confidence vs quasimodo with **** loads of confidence? on the other hand, if one guy is slightly more attractive then another, but the other guy is really confident then yeah maybe she'll choose the uglier dude. but like i said, i only ever see gorgeous girls with good looking *confident* guys, never with ugly dudes no matter how confident they are.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

*Re: Just so ****in unattractive*

Welcome to the club.


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## not_so_cloudy (Jun 29, 2008)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*

what Vincenzo said makes sense. at least in the beginning. it's about self confidence. It just dawned on me. I was dating this guy. and he had so much confidence and so funny you couldnt help but laugh. And I want that for myself. Only I don't know how to become it. I have this dark quality about me, that I would love to change. something with fun or comedy or something less dark. my moods need help.

but one thing i will do, and thats work on my attitude. my confidence. thats speaks volumes. i have to find out how to get it first.


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## Peace99 (May 27, 2008)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*



Mercurochrome said:


> ^Well, he'd rather have the good looking (physically attractive) girl with the good personality, than the hot (physically attractive) girl with the @#%$ personality.
> 
> Duh.


Ok forget the word good looking. How about average or decent looking does that help???? !!!! ????
The point is to me and other guys personality makes a difference. There are women that are the some way. There are some that are even worse than men.


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## Peace99 (May 27, 2008)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*



LostInReverie said:


> Peace99 said:
> 
> 
> > LostInReverie said:
> ...


No different than how money matters to women.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

*Re: Just so ****in unattractive*

Ha ha ha


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## Peace99 (May 27, 2008)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*



LostInReverie said:


> Ha ha ha


I got a laugh out of you. Or at least a sarcastic one. That's pretty good I think. :clap


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## DudeHere (Jul 10, 2008)

Well, this is a debate that will never end. "Its confidence vs looks" "Money/power/status" "Nice guys finish last" What the answer is, i dont know. But there are certain parties to blame. As for me, I am stuck in a whole and trying to find my way out.


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## RubyTuesday (Aug 3, 2007)

.._.Just so *feckin* unnattractive_...??! :con :lol

Anyhow... don't know about anyone else but what I find the most attractive of all is someone I get along really really well with and who I feel like "I've known them in a past life" sort of thing.

I have a girl friend with whom I've always felt this. She's actually really really short -any shorter and she'd be a midget!

...but: I love her. As simple as that. :yes


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

I love the standard "confidence helps" replies. No ****. You people are like geniuses or something. I never knew that if I had confidence (read: a lack of social anxiety) that I wouldn't be faced with some of the everyday problems specific to my ability or lack thereof to feel attractive to members of the opposite sex.

To the OP, go post your picture in the member photos thread. At least a half dozen people will say you look attractive. Alternatively, you can register at hotornot.com and receive a superficial but brutally honest opinion.


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## colonelpoop (Jun 18, 2008)

somebody could use a weiner tug.


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

The "confidence" response can seem like telling someone who is paralyzed and is getting bedsores that he or she just needs to move around more. Not real helpful, but absolutely true. It's the truth I'm interested in.

Beaming confidence isn't necessary to attract someone, but some degree of self awareness and acceptance is. Those things can be hard but not impossible to obtain. The simple truth is that if you can't get at least moderately comfortable with yourself, you will probably (not certainly)struggle socially.


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

Jaan Pehechaan Ho said:


> path0gen said:
> 
> 
> > I love the standard "confidence helps" replies. No @#%$. You people are like geniuses or something. I never knew that if I had confidence (read: a lack of social anxiety) that I wouldn't be faced with some of the everyday problems specific to my ability or lack thereof to feel attractive to members of the opposite sex.
> ...


Are you trying to be offensive? If so, please attempt to use proper spelling, grammar and punctuation. After mastering that, you can educate yourself on your 'ammunition' and make sure that your source is accurate. Finally, you can refrain from taking information out of context to support your little verbal internet assault.

And now, oh wise one, you can inform me how posting a self-deprecating 'why am I so ugly?' thread and receiving cliche self-confidence replies on an SAD board is any more efficient than tossing up a picture on a site design explicitly to solicit such feedback. Reality is most painful for those who have yet to experience it. I suggest you learn to accept honest replies when given, whether you like them or not, or you haven't grown up enough to use the interweb yet.


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## colonelpoop (Jun 18, 2008)

i don't usually give strangers weiner tugs, but I'll make an exception in your case.


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## Zen Mechanics (Aug 3, 2007)

hotornot isnt a kids site. and what's wrong with facebook, it's pretty much the only way i keep in touch with people i knew at school


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## Mr. Orange (Apr 20, 2008)

path0gen said:


> Jaan Pehechaan Ho said:
> 
> 
> > path0gen said:
> ...


Hey man, I started the thread, not this guy. But reading the posts that you guys have been squalling about, here's what I want to say: chill out guys. Don't get into some argument over the internet about something stupid like this. Had I known that this thread would cause such turmoil I never would have started it.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

path0gen said:


> Are you trying to be offensive?


Maybe he was offended because of your sarcastic comments, which were not needed btw.

If you're implying that people are just trying to be nice when someone posts a pic of themselves, then you obviously have the wrong frame of mind or maybe you just have higher standards. I am always honest when I comment on a pic and I honestly haven't seen one person that I would consider truely ugly.

You have to remember that hotornot is a site where people are judged over ever little flaw that they have so the standards are going to be higher. This site isn't here to judge people over their flaws. Everyone here has flaws, but we also have good features. I see flaws on people and myself, but what would be the point of letting the person know that they have those flaws? What is that going to accomplish on here? Hey, you're not hot! Burn.. :roll Why should we always be criticizing when we should be complimenting the good. We already know that we're not supermodels(Well some on here could be, heh), so letting someone know that isn't going solve anything.


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## Superman23 (Jul 6, 2008)

*Re: Just so @#%$ unattractive*



Vincenzo said:



> Yeah, but confidence is more important than looks, such that
> 
> Ugly with confidence > Good looking with zero confidence


Well said, exactly


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

I think it should have been changed to fricken. Feckin just doesn't make sense.


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## Coward (Jul 19, 2008)

I think it's irish


I AM PROBABLY THE MOST UNATTRACTIVE MEMBER OF ALL :cry 
both inside and out


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

looks are not the problem atttitude and experience are some factors im my opinion. I dont believe the myth of all ugly guys with hot girls yet since looks are subjective.


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## Vincenzo (Sep 24, 2005)

LostInReverie said:


> I think it should have been changed to fricken. Feckin just doesn't make sense.


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## HumiliatedGuy (Jan 13, 2008)

Vincenzo said:


> LostInReverie said:
> 
> 
> > I think it should have been changed to fricken. Feckin just doesn't make sense.


Stop posting pictures of me!


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