# Regret being mean



## Sighboy92 (Aug 3, 2012)

Tomorrow or in less than a hour in my time zone its my grandma's birthday.
Because of that different family members flew in from Texas.
Hate it because I feel as if there gonna judge me since I'm 20 still at home no work experience. So I come off as kind of cold. Then I feel bad

My cousin walked and I was closes to the door she sat her purse near me and kind of ignored me. Just walked by then later she said hi and I ignored her them she poked me because I didn't look at her and said it again and I walked off.
I spent the last few hours in my room because I never know what to say at family gatherings
Everyones started leaving and the just now same cousim walks in my room and says bye and I didn't turn around or speak. The sound of the door slamming is what I hear next
First thought is b**** but as I think that I feel sorry

At all my family gathers I tend to be mean and neglectful to one or a few and I feel bad right after. 

Is anyone else out there that has reasons to dislike someone but can't be mean without sympathy?


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## Just Here (Jul 16, 2013)

I think you need to say your sorry to your cousin he made a point to say hi. He may not understand were your at in your life. You shouldn't let anybody bring you down. So you haven't got job there 1000's like you. I think this bothers you more than anybody else. But when comes to family I to have my issues. I loose interest with in a short time and to like to run a way.


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## luciRocks (Jul 18, 2013)

It sounds like your meanness is a front because you don't want or know how to let people in. I used to feel that when I made an effort to try and be nice, it was fake and meant nothing. Do you do it because you think that they are just being nice out of politeness? When I feel that way I just tell myself it doesn't matter and I still matter to a lot of people and I am loved by many. And even if you don't realize it many people do need you in their lives for their happiness.


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## Sighboy92 (Aug 3, 2012)

Just Here said:


> I think you need to say your sorry to your cousin he made a point to say hi. He may not understand were your at in your life. You shouldn't let anybody bring you down. So you haven't got job there 1000's like you. I think this bothers you more than anybody else. But when comes to family I to have my issues. I loose interest with in a short time and to like to run a way.


Your most likely right. It bothers me because I constantly compare my life to theirs.


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## Sighboy92 (Aug 3, 2012)

luciRocks said:


> It sounds like your meanness is a front because you don't want or know how to let people in. I used to feel that when I made an effort to try and be nice, it was fake and meant nothing. Do you do it because you think that they are just being nice out of politeness? When I feel that way I just tell myself it doesn't matter and I still matter to a lot of people and I am loved by many. And even if you don't realize it many people do need you in their lives for their happiness.


I've been told that first line before. I do try to be nice and like you it felt forced and fake and regretted it as soon whatever social gathering it was ended.


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## Just Here (Jul 16, 2013)

Family members know us like no one else and they can turn that knowledge to help us or hurt us. Its when that relationships hurts that we most notice it. 

My problem is I hate large family gatherings I never feel like I fit in. I don't like making chit chat and hearing about medical problems. I just want to be left alone. But most of the time I'm push to be there because "It's the right thing to do". I say bull s***


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