# How to Triumph over SA



## arentilucky (Dec 18, 2011)

Hello everyone !

In this thread i will share my solution on how to deal with and finally overcome Social Anxiety .

But first i would like to begin with a little intro on my experience with SA

I had a really rough childhood which is the main reasons for my SA . I don't want to go into much detail as its irrelevant to the topic and i want to keep it short so ill just write few lines about me .

My dad and few other close family members were abusing alcohol and as a growing up child i saw a lot of violence and other inappropriate things that a child should never see . 
When i started going to school my parents got divorced . I stayed with my mom but she had a hard time supporting us . Paying rent was always a problem so we were moving from one place to another and it was really hard for me cuz every time i had to find new friends .
Constantly changing environments ( that made me feel like an outsider ) and the fact that i almost never got any attention from my parents has shaped my personality .

And that is how i became very quiet and shy .
The most painful thing to me was that i felt all alone in this world and i thought that nobody cared about me . I saw this world as something really hostile and so i decided to distance my self from it . I was never suicidal but i started questioning the purpose of my life and then thinking that im useless/waste of space and that i should've never been born .

I Hope most of you see where i went wrong already 

After a while i started exploring the world again . Those negative thoughts stoped bothering me because i simply got used to them so much after going through them everyday that it felt normal to have them . I was still shy as ever but mainly because it was a habit and i was actually feeling comfortable this way  . Then i started interacting with people or better yet people started interacting with me because i would almost never interact first . I noticed how weak my interactions were compared to others and this is when i started thinking why so .
I had to go through more negative thoughts eventually coming to think that im some sort of a freak .
This kinda thing went on until i started researching , at that time i was still thinking that i was the only one having this issue . Finally i found out a lot of information on the internet and learned that im not alone on this . Then i met few people who had SA before and they cured it . One guy was going to school with me and it was hard to believe when he said that he used to have SA because he was a social butterfly . This gave me so much confidence to go about my research and break my SA for good .

Now i can't say that i overcame my SA yet but im doing quite good and i think i will overcome it soon enough i think its a matter of few months now.

I did a lot of research , read a lot of articles on SA and CBT , talked to people and came to these steps :

*Step 1. *
First and the most important one is to *stop negative thoughts* .
Most of my negative thinking was irrational , very judgmental , destructive and not supported by any facts . It only stopped me from enjoying life and doing what i wanted to do . Guys it's very important that you tackles this one first ! As its about 50 % of your SA if not even more . This one is like a root that feeds your SA more and more . 
I have successfully completed this step and i feel by far better about my self and my life . 
I will post a link to a resource which helped me to stop negative thinking but only tomorrow .

*Step 2.*
It is important that you *love your self* . Confidence ( which is kinda opposite to shyness ) comes from Self esteem and self esteem comes from inside you , and you will only have it if you really and truly love your self . You can start by treating your self better and by looking after your self better . Put in that effort no matter how hard it is . Just make a list of things that would make you look better and feel better and start tackling it now . I recommend doing the following : Start eating healthy , quit unhealthy activities such as smoking and drinking (drinking definitely has to go ! ) and most importantly *do a lot of exercise* ! Shake off that extra fat and gain some nice muscle tone . It will certainly make you feel a lot better about your self .

*Step 3.*

Start exploring the world from different perspective . Start meeting new people but don't forget about old ones too  Don't let negative experiences and awkward social interactions bother you ( Actually it wont be possible when you overcome step 1) . Before it depressed me , now i can laugh it off .

I will keep this thread updated with more information as time comes . I want to share my progress in more detail and also there is another exciting idea on my mind but again ill leave the rest for tomorrow


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## i just want luv (Feb 13, 2011)

congratulations man. glad it worked for ya


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## strawberryjulius (Jun 28, 2009)

Congrats on overcoming a lot of your SA. I'd love to hear more.


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## arentilucky (Dec 18, 2011)

This is the recourse i was talking about that helps address Anxiety and most of all Negative thoughts http://www.amazon.com/Self-Coaching...8286/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1327010780&sr=8-5 . This book will help you overcome *step 1 *
I am not advertising , only recommending ! So if you are unsure then you can download it via torrents first and if it helps you can support the author by ordering the book !


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