# Crushes NEVER are interested.....



## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

I dont know why it is that everytime I have a crush on a man, he is NEVER interested.

I try to contemplate everyday why this is. Ive been thinking and maybe its the type of guys I like or something. I dont want pretty boys or the types that most girls like. I just like normal, everyday guys. 

I dont think its because I have SA, its probably because I am not mature enough even though I am 24. I feel like I am about 12 because I dont have any experience with men, so that puts me at a disadvantage already. 

Otherwise, I cant really see why. I also know its because of my weight, but I am on a very good diet and losing weight and I feel great! So Im not lacking confidence. 

Does this happen to you? Do you have crushes on men/women and they are NEVER interested? 

Because I feel like I am the only one. I feel like everyone else gets a chance.


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## UndreamingAwake (Apr 11, 2011)

While it would be a lie to say that girls I like are never interested, i've had it happen plenty of times, and i've had friends with the same problem. Maybe these guys could be shy, or they think they'd not be your type, any reason, really. 

The only thing that not having had a boyfriend means for you is that you simply have no or not as much experience with relationships, and that can change. Your maturity in general isn't dictated by whether or not you have had romantic relationships in my opinion.

As for your weight, if that's the one thing preventing a guy from dating you/asking you out, would you really want him? The sweetest girl i've ever known was overweight, but I wasn't any less attracted to her because of her weight.


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## TryingMara (Mar 25, 2012)

Yes, it's the same for me. I also feel immature or at the very least, behind where my peers are. Even younger guys are farther along in their lives and careers than I am. I always feel their lack of interest is due to my appearance, but I know a large part of it is that I completely clam up around them. It's hard for me to be relaxed and comfortable around anyone. It's difficult for someone to be interested in you when you can barely talk to them.


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## CoastalSprite (Sep 8, 2011)

I've never asked anyone out or told anyone I liked them, but I'm sure if I did I'd get rejected every time :| And be laughed at (not by the guy himself because the men I like are very kind-hearted, but rather their friends/other people when they inevitably find out...).


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## jayjaythejetplane (May 13, 2011)

It's part of the appeal isn't it? Wanting what you can't have.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Girls completely lose interest when they notice how shy I am. I have had pretty strong crushes on a few girls, but I don't flirt aggressively enough so they just lose interest and go for someone else.


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

It would seem that way for me too. Maybe there is this invisible ranking system everyone uses that I'm not aware of. I never know what exactly to blame. Is it my looks or the way I approached you...

It would also seem that I have no interest in the girls that crush on me. I use them as examples as to why my crushes have no interest in me. If my lack of interest in the girls that crush on me is anything like the lack of interest my crushes have for me than I must say...it's either superficiality OR strange standards.


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## MyJoy (Dec 9, 2011)

I get rejected a lot because I am overweight and out of shape. I think I can do something about this though.


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

hmmmyep.. they never are. Even when it seems like you really have a connection :/

I think most relationships start when two people both start liking each other at the same time really.

Thats why every time the moment I realize Im interested in someone, I automatically thing 'Oh great... here we go again '


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

Same here. And im never interested in the girls that crush on me either.

Go figure...


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## Furious Ming (Dec 13, 2011)

Even non-crushes aren't interested in me. :|


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## Rick (Nov 1, 2009)

It happens to me all the time


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## wolfsblood (May 5, 2012)

Are you serious? You should not put that much meaning on weight? You need to love yourself before someone else can love you. Sorry it seems like a cliche but it is so true. Remember what Robert Smith said. And Sorry I can't help but do this because I love the cure. LOL
Show me how you do that trick 
The one that makes me scream" she said 
"The one that makes me laugh" she said 
And threw her arms around my neck 
"Show me how you do it 
And I promise you I promise that 
I'll run away with you 
I'll run away with you" 
Spinning on that dizzy edge 
I kissed her face and kissed her head 
And dreamed of all the different ways I had 
To make her glow 
"Why are you so far away?" she said 
"Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you 
That I'm in love with you" 

You 
Soft and only 
You 
Lost and lonely 
You 
Strange as angels 
Dancing in the deepest oceans 
Twisting in the water 
You're just like a dream 

Daylight licked me into shape 
I must have been asleep for days 
And moving lips to breathe her name 
I opened up my eyes 
And found myself alone alone 
Alone above a raging sea 
That stole the only girl I loved 
And drowned her deep inside of me 

You 
Soft and only 
You 
Lost and lonely 
You 
Just like heaven


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## wolfsblood (May 5, 2012)

You are beautiful just the way you are


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## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

Droidsteel said:


> hmmmyep.. they never are. Even when it seems like you really have a connection :/
> 
> I think most relationships start when two people both start liking each other at the same time really.
> 
> Thats why every time the moment I realize Im interested in someone, I automatically thing 'Oh great... here we go again '


THIS!


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## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

wolfsblood said:


> You are beautiful just the way you are


Thanks!!


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## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

Metalunatic said:


> While it would be a lie to say that girls I like are never interested, i've had it happen plenty of times, and i've had friends with the same problem. Maybe these guys could be shy, or they think they'd not be your type, any reason, really.
> 
> The only thing that not having had a boyfriend means for you is that you simply have no or not as much experience with relationships, and that can change. Your maturity in general isn't dictated by whether or not you have had romantic relationships in my opinion.
> 
> As for your weight, if that's the one thing preventing a guy from dating you/asking you out, would you really want him? The sweetest girl i've ever known was overweight, but I wasn't any less attracted to her because of her weight.


Thanks a lot, man!


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## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

wolfsblood said:


> Are you serious? You should not put that much meaning on weight? You need to love yourself before someone else can love you. Sorry it seems like a cliche but it is so true. Remember what Robert Smith said. And Sorry I can't help but do this because I love the cure. LOL
> Show me how you do that trick
> The one that makes me scream" she said
> "The one that makes me laugh" she said
> ...


lol...thanks


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

This has always happen to me and I believe that it always will. I just like guys who are out of my league and who are better looking than me and I have had guys I don't like have a crush on me. I will just have to accept the fact that my crushes would never want to be with a girl like me and maybe I will have to give the guys I don't like a chance. It would just feel great to have a guy that I like to like me back. I've never experienced that feeling before and I would really like to.


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## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

Paloma M said:


> This has always happen to me and I believe that it always will. I just like guys who are out of my league and who are better looking than me and I have had guys I don't like have a crush on me. I will just have to accept the fact that my crushes would never want to be with a girl like me and maybe I will have to give the guys I don't like a chance. It would just feel great to have a guy that I like to like me back. I've never experienced that feeling before and I would really like to.


Oh I totally understand.
I thought about just dating guys who like me even though I dont even like them.

I hate that I cant ever have the man I really like, but its always been this way, so maybe this is how it is for me.

Accepting it is the hardest thing because I still have hope that one day everything will change, but I just dont know.


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## Winds (Apr 17, 2011)

Paloma M said:


> I will have to *give the guys I don't like a chance.* It would just feel great to have a guy that I like to like me back. I've never experienced that feeling before and I would really like to.





VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> Oh I totally understand.
> *I thought about just dating guys who like me even though I dont even like them.*
> 
> I hate that I cant ever have the man I really like, but its always been this way, so maybe this is how it is for me.
> ...


Doing the bold hurts the person you settling for just as much as it will hurt you in the long run :no


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## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

EastWinds said:


> Doing the bold hurts the person you settling for just as much as it will hurt you in the long run :no


I know its not the best thing to do, but I dont know what else to do. :twisted

Im tired of being single all the time. I dont even have proper male friends at all. So maybe, I could at least get some experience with them. :boogie


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## elvin jones (Dec 12, 2011)

I would feel terrible if I found out some girl had to settle for me and didn't even like me in the first place but had no other options. That is an incredibly cruel thing to do to a person. Even if you are feeling lonely, please don't do this to someone. Imagine if your crush had to settle for you because the girls he really liked didn't want him.


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## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

elvin jones said:


> I would feel terrible if I found out some girl had to settle for me and didn't even like me in the first place but had no other options. That is an incredibly cruel thing to do to a person. Even if you are feeling lonely, please don't do this to someone. Imagine if your crush had to settle for you because the girls he really liked didn't want him.


Yeah, this is true. I dont want to hurt anyone at all. Its not that I am settling, I just want to date guys I like. But even if I did date a guy who liked me, I might end up liking him after getting to know him more. 

I dont want to hurt anyone at all.


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## MyJoy (Dec 9, 2011)

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> Yeah, this is true. I dont want to hurt anyone at all. Its not that I am settling, I just want to date guys I like. But even if I did date a guy who liked me, I might end up liking him after getting to know him more.
> 
> I dont want to hurt anyone at all.


It doesn't sound like you are settling, it just sounds like you just want to give someone that IS interested in you a chance. And if you went out with the guy a few times and didn't feel anything romantic, you'd probably let him down easy.


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## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

MyJoy said:


> It doesn't sound like you are settling, it just sounds like you just want to give someone that IS interested in you a chance. And if you went out with the guy a few times and didn't feel anything romantic, you'd probably let him down easy.


Exactly. :clap


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

I have a crush on you just because of your avatar!


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## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

srschirm said:


> I have a crush on you just because of your avatar!


:boogieAwww...so sweet. 
I like your glasses


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## IcoRules (Apr 29, 2009)

I don't know. I've never told anyone I've had a crush on that I liked them. It's too hard to face the rejection that would likely happen, since no one would probably ever like me that way anyways.


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## Skttrbrain (Jun 17, 2011)

elvin jones said:


> I would feel terrible if I found out some girl had to settle for me and didn't even like me in the first place but had no other options. That is an incredibly cruel thing to do to a person. Even if you are feeling lonely, please don't do this to someone. Imagine if your crush had to settle for you because the girls he really liked didn't want him.


Yes, but say you're not initially attracted to someone, but you think "well he's nice.. I'll give him a chance" and you end up connecting and feeling very comfortable with this person and you fall in love. It happens.. so many of my female friends have told me that they weren't attracted to their SO at first, but found out he was an amazing guy.

There isn't anything wrong with giving someone a chance. If there is nothing there after a couple dates, you just move on. This is how dating works apparently.

I myself have never given someone that I didn't like a chance, but as I'm getting older I'm regretting this. I turned down a lot of awesome guys because they weren't "my type".


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

elvin jones said:


> I would feel terrible if I found out some girl had to settle for me and didn't even like me in the first place but had no other options. That is an incredibly cruel thing to do to a person. Even if you are feeling lonely, please don't do this to someone. Imagine if your crush had to settle for you because the girls he really liked didn't want him.


You know what? You're right. It would only make me look like a big jerk in the end. I knew a guy who did that to one of my friends and it only made me see him as a jerk in the end. I used to like him but right after what he did to my friend, that was not cool at all and it made me view him differently.


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## TigerRifle1 (Jan 25, 2012)

I'd rather have a crush be not interested then be the type that while not interested in you still likes the attention you give then so they string you along. Or worse they are the type of person that is so nice they are afraid to be mean and tells you that you can spend time with them or they want to get to know you but they obviously don't want to. They want you to get the picture without them having to say so.


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## elvin jones (Dec 12, 2011)

Skttrbrain said:


> Yes, but say you're not initially attracted to someone, but you think "well he's nice.. I'll give him a chance" and you end up connecting and feeling very comfortable with this person and you fall in love. It happens.. so many of my female friends have told me that they weren't attracted to their SO at first, but found out he was an amazing guy.


There is a difference between keeping your options open and having to begrudgingly date someone out of lack of choice. Because as soon as someone better comes along they will move on. I've seen it with my very own eyes.



Paloma M said:


> You know what? You're right. It would only make me look like a big jerk in the end. I knew a guy who did that to one of my friends and it only made me see him as a jerk in the end. I used to like him but right after what he did to my friend, that was not cool at all and it made me view him differently.


If I was dating someone and found out they are only with me because they couldn't get with the person they really wanted that would absolutely crush me. I don't deserve that and clearly they think I don't deserve them. I would end it immediately.


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## niacin (May 26, 2012)

I give up on dating and everything. Screw this. I'm going to become a cat lady.


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## hypestyle (Nov 12, 2003)

Furious Ming said:


> Even non-crushes aren't interested in me. :|


crushes and non-crushes alike.. it's just never happened for me, never worked out in my favor.. always, anyone I'm interested in, sooner than later I find out they have a boyfriend, are married, etc., and even if we end up on cordial terms, that's clearly as far as its ever going to go, and they don't find out how I feel about them.. and I suppose that was for the best as it avoided any vaguely creepy "he's got a crush on you" subtext between us.. I sish I knew of a way to let women know, in a nice way, i'm interested, but it never seems like the right time.. ah well..


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## Fukamushi (Jun 10, 2012)

My problem is that when there _is_ mutual interest, I tend to shy away. I Haven't been in a relationship since I was in grade 9 (I'm 21 now).


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## Fukamushi (Jun 10, 2012)

^ Some of the girls may not have known I was interested, maybe you're being too subtle, op.


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## roseblood (Mar 1, 2010)

Yes, my crushes always seem to be one sided. Although i did suspect a boy i had a crush on liked me back. He was very touchy touchy. Then i realized he flirts with everyone.


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## MrQuiet76 (Aug 26, 2011)

I feel like I never have a chance at all with any crushes because of my SA and pretty severe acne... nobody wants to be with the unattractive guy who doesn't talk


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## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

roseblood said:


> Yes, my crushes always seem to be one sided. Although i did suspect a boy i had a crush on liked me back. He was very touchy touchy. Then i realized he flirts with everyone.


He probably liked u.  I hope u go for the next one.


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## roseblood (Mar 1, 2010)

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> He probably liked u.  I hope u go for the next one.


I don't know, he was very hard to read. He was kind of a you-know-what but he was always nice to me. Sometimes he would jokingly say, _i should stalk you _ and kind of invite himself to my house.

Yes, me too :yes


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