# Is eye contact with strangers weird?



## atc1991 (May 9, 2013)

I am not asking about staring. That's creepy, but I'm asking about momentary eye contact. 

There are a lot of really pretty girls at my university, but I usually stare at the ground because I don't want them to think I'm weird if I make eye contact......


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

Do not stare at the ground in any social setting. It looks like you are either disinterested or not confident. I find eye contact to be incredibly attractive! It could be what peaks a girls interest in you. It's never a bad thing unless your making contact endlessly at a girl and shes not being receptive. Avoid staring!


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## atc1991 (May 9, 2013)

Ignopius said:


> Do not stare at the ground in any social setting. It looks like you are either disinterested or not confident. I find eye contact to be incredibly attractive! It could be what peaks a girls interest in you. It's never a bad thing unless your making contact endlessly at a girl and shes not being receptive. Avoid staring!


Thanks for the advice! I'll try to be less self-conscious and make more eye contact with people.


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## MaryLea (Aug 17, 2014)

Eye contact is a really good thing, go with it! Just don't stare


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## Baalzebub (Jun 15, 2013)

I don't know if it's weird or not. I assume it is because whenever I make eye contact with a girl, she will immediately look down.


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## Ziggy Stardust (Oct 26, 2014)

It's not weird, it's inevitable if you're around other people. It happens to everyone, all the time. If you make eye contact, just smile and then look away and then keep doing whatever you're doing.

If you make a big deal out of it, then it sends off negative vibes and makes people feel uncomfortable.


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## reem1 (Nov 18, 2014)

I used to think that too. Its not weird and it makes you less free to be occupied with that thought. Its actually a good exercise to deliberately make as much eye contact as possible or even to look someone in the eye long enough for the other to look away (I guess not so suitable for situations where you need to interact with that person).


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

Ziggy Stardust said:


> It's not weird, it's inevitable if you're around other people. It happens to everyone, all the time. If you make eye contact, just smile and then look away and then keep doing whatever you're doing.
> 
> If you make a big deal out of it, then it sends off negative vibes and makes people feel uncomfortable.





reem1 said:


> I used to think that too. Its not weird and it makes you less free to be occupied with that thought. Its actually a good exercise to deliberately make as much eye contact as possible or even to look someone in the eye long enough for the other to look away (I guess not so suitable for situations where you need to interact with that person).


thanks for this, i'm gonna try to look people in the eye.

i usually do the "deer caught in headlight" stare and throw my head away from the other person's gaze :no

EDIT: what about eye contact on public transport? i find it really hard to get eye contact with people in those situations

sorry for thread hijack


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## reem1 (Nov 18, 2014)

versikk said:


> thanks for this, i'm gonna try to look people in the eye.
> 
> i usually do the "deer caught in headlight" stare and throw my head away from the other person's gaze :no
> 
> ...


I know what you mean, like its to intense to hold eye contact. I got over it for the most part by practicing, mainly while using public transport actually. 
I'd start by just looking whoever enters your proximity briefly in the eye (it doesn't really matter if you look weird since you probably don't need to interact with that stranger). When you get more comfortable with that, make it a challenge to take the seat in the bus or train that faces the other seats and try to react to people drawing your attention by making eye contact with them. I found it highly uncomfortable the first 2-3 times but it got better faster that i expected. 
I can imagine listening to Alan Watts thru headphones while doing this can be helpful, his lectures always calm me down and make me more rational and grounded  
Its important to keep yourself sufficiently distracted while doing this. It might also help to focus on you senses like listening to the sounds around you and try to identify them, or smell, or your breathing.


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

reem1 said:


> I know what you mean, like its to intense to hold eye contact. I got over it for the most part by practicing, mainly while using public transport actually.
> I'd start by just looking whoever enters your proximity briefly in the eye (it doesn't really matter if you look weird since you probably don't need to interact with that stranger). When you get more comfortable with that, make it a challenge to take the seat in the bus or train that faces the other seats and try to react to people drawing your attention by making eye contact with them. I found it highly uncomfortable the first 2-3 times but it got better faster that i expected.
> I can imagine listening to Alan Watts thru headphones while doing this can be helpful, his lectures always calm me down and make me more rational and grounded
> Its important to keep yourself sufficiently distracted while doing this. It might also help to focus on you senses like listening to the sounds around you and try to identify them, or smell, or your breathing.


Thanks so much for the advice :squeeze

I am able to sit down in the seats facing others (but FVCK ME that took many years to accomplish), but in Sweden we are very reserved and eye contact is more "bold" here than other countries, so it's a big step lol. I had a period where I stared people in the eye when they walked past me, it did make it easier... I should start that again.

Should be fun, people already stare at me cos of my awesome outfits :evil


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## reem1 (Nov 18, 2014)

versikk said:


> Thanks so much for the advice :squeeze
> 
> I am able to sit down in the seats facing others (but FVCK ME that took many years to accomplish), but in Sweden we are very reserved and eye contact is more "bold" here than other countries, so it's a big step lol. I had a period where I stared people in the eye when they walked past me, it did make it easier... I should start that again.
> 
> Should be fun, people already stare at me cos of my awesome outfits :evil


Hahaha that should give you an edge then. I used to look pretty unusual as well yet that was never a big deal to me (people thinking i dress weird and therefore i am weird). A part of it is that i felt it was rude to look people in the eye because i hated it when they did that to me.

Was listening to this podcast recently where they had a funny conversation about this. Maybe you find it interesting. The rest of the podcast is worth checking out as well


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

It'll be the first Joe Rogan podcast I listen to. I've heard Sam before tho 

Should I listenfrom the time mark in your link?


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## detweiler (Aug 2, 2009)

Really enjoying this podcast, thanks for sharing!


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