# What the hell do women want?



## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

-I'm told they want a man taller than them: at 6' I'm suitable to date anyone who's not an Amazon.

-I'm told they want money. I have that, along with a finance degree and passion for investing, so I actually know what to do with substantial assets. And I would be eager to help them improve their portfolio. For some reason I find that women do not get hot about maximum diversification at minimum cost. Owning at least 10,000 stocks in 40+ nations fails to turn them on. They're also don't care if a man knows what negative convexity & interest rate parity are.

Evidently, they're impressed by a "pseudo-rich" guy with a fast car he can't afford, because that shows he "has money" or at least the dead beat can outrun the repo man. It also shows he's the kind of responsible guy you really want a relationship with.:roll

-I'm told they like intelligence. I graduated from the University of Wisconsin with honors. I'm not arrogant enough to claim to be a genius, but I'm surely not an idiot.

-I'm told they like a man who will listens, something I'm very good at. I was on the phone with Patty last afternoon for 2.5 hours. Imagine that 2.5 hours with a female friend that I'm never going to spank nor have sex with and I'm still interested in her. I did things like advise her on how to get the SS that she deserves.

-I'm told they like a man who's honest? Ask me anything and you will get the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I encourage ladies to ask me anything. I'm an open book with nothing to hide. (Something which my critics use against me, as they hide be hide a screen name in Never Never land.) 

-I guess they're terribly afraid I'm going to shoot them, even though I take gun safety very seriously. One girl freaked out and rejected me due to my gun hobby (even though my ad mentioned I'm an NRA life member). Is she surprised that NRA life members have a passion for firearms? Does she imagine that I'm going to shoot her? Brilliant -- I can discharge a gun with a 155 decibel blast assured of causing me permanent hearing damage, which the neighbors could hear and call 911. Oddly, she isn't the least bit worried about the cutlery in my kitchen, which could silently kill her.:roll

Ladies: could you explain what is so terribly wrong with me that none of you want me?

BTW, I'm planning to build a new home, that I will pay for in cash. Do women like financial security?

My negatives: I'm not a stud muffin (who will leave you as soon as he finds a hotter girl).

I have no criminal record, have no history of substance abuse. I've never even gotten a parking ticket! What the hell more do you want!?!

I don't have STDs, I don't smoke.


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## Zadaliya (Apr 7, 2015)

I hear similar interests are nice this time of year.


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## Staticnz (Mar 25, 2013)

They just want a guy who treats them with respect, listens, is relatable, not too bad looking, and isn't homeless.

If they are a regular, well adjusted person.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

Ask yourself what you want in a woman and go look for her. All wondering what women will do is drive you nuts


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

They probably want a woman.


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## Omgblood (Jun 30, 2010)

They want a thrill

and validation


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## iCod (Feb 17, 2015)

visualkeirockstar said:


> They probably want a woman.


/thread


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## Lynxrunner (Sep 10, 2014)

Women don't know what they want until they've been in some relationships. This is probably true for men as well.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

McFly said:


> With a penis


Most women don't even like penis.


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

Women like guys without anxiety issues.


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## Orbiter (Jul 8, 2015)

Food, water and sleep like every **** sapiens.
Seriously though, why don't you date women who are into guns?
At least they wouldn't freak out about your hobby and I'm sure there are good ones in that field, looks-wise.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Well, are you being proactive to find someone?


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## regimes (Aug 24, 2011)

UltraShy said:


> -I'm told they like a man who will listens, something I'm very good at. I was on the phone with Patty last afternoon for 2.5 hours. Imagine that 2.5 hours with a female friend that I'm never going to spank nor have sex with and I'm still interested in her. I did things like advise her on how to get the SS that she deserves.


well give yourself a cookie.


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## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

Women want validation and love, like all human beings. Unfortunately, most of us don't know how to feel the validation and love.
I mean human beings, not just women.


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## Helixa (Feb 1, 2015)

I'll let you in on a little secret.

...

....

...

_We're all different in what we want._ :surprise:


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## dune87 (Aug 10, 2015)

I don't know you so I can't tell you why I don't want you.

But as a sum, someone who's decent, who inspires trust and with whom we have that little spark and chemistry. Among other things.


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## Cassoulet94 (Apr 3, 2014)

UltraShy said:


> -I'm told they want a man taller than them: at 6' I'm suitable to date anyone who's not an Amazon.
> 
> -I'm told they want money. I have that, along with a finance degree and passion for investing, so I actually know what to do with substantial assets. And I would be eager to help them improve their portfolio. For some reason I find that women do not get hot about maximum diversification at minimum cost. Owning at least 10,000 stocks in 40+ nations fails to turn them on. They're also don't care if a man knows what negative convexity & interest rate parity are.
> 
> ...


Women are human beings. It means that they like to be seen as such and not as some kind of weird things that are so different from men and all like the same thing. Or as **** dolls (the fact that you felt the need to show that you can be interested in a girl you won't **** is a bit disturbing).

So it really depends on what kind of women you're interested in. Some basic psychology: most of the time, what is important is not really the money, but your ability to make the person feel good. Your approach show that you don't really understand that. You don't need to make a list to show your credentials.

Try to find a girl with common interests, have some good conversations, show that you're attentionate, interested in the person and that you make something of your life, and then try to be bold (invite her for a drink for example). Don't appear desperate or needy even if you are (I know, that's hard).

You have to make move because if you don't, nothing will happen.

Be nice, smile, try to see things with humor (no need to be a stand up comedian).

Be careful about your look. It's a plus to be tall but try to dress nicely and to have a good haircut.

Try to be maybe a little subtle because from what I have read from you here it doesn't seem to be your specialty.

That's very basic but I can't be more specific because I don't want to make generalization about women.


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## UnusualSuspect (Feb 24, 2014)

Women like guys with serious anxiety issues, especially social anxiety. If you lack social skills and are socially awkward, that's a bonus.

Women love guys who are loners and don't have many friends

You will instantly melt a girl's heart if you tell her you are a member of an online forum and spend a lot of time on it. Especially SAS.

Women love guys that complain about things, especially on the internet, to strangers. Take the shorters, ugliest, fattest old bald guy, and if he starts complaining about his life and that no woman wants him no matter what, women will start flocking to him. 

Women love guys with mental health issues. Especially if they don't see a therapist or a psychiatrist to get help.

Girls love guys who represent themselves with a gun (such as on forum with their avatar), though probably not as much as guys who represent themselves with a skull with swords instead of two bones. If you also personally refer to yourself as ultra shy, or as an awkward ugly weirdo, that's a bonus.

Women absolutely drool over a man who is self-loathing. The more you hate yourself, the more chicks will dig you.

And last but not least, women love men that only care about sex and say things like "I can talk to a woman on the phone for 2.5 hours without ****ing her, therefore I am such a great listener."

Oh, and a bonus. What's the secret to any woman's heart? Asking what the hell they want. The more you ask it, the more they start showing you.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

My buddy told me that women like guys who twerk. So iv'e been working on my twerking and video taping myself. 



Women also like men who hang out on SAS all day talking about how no women wants them without even trying at all and expect Kate Upton 2.0 to come knocking on their door.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

AwkwardUglyWeirdo said:


> Women like guys with serious anxiety issues, especially social anxiety. If you lack social skills and are socially awkward, that's a bonus.
> 
> Women love guys who are loners and don't have many friends
> 
> ...


I must be a god among men then. I can fit 6 girls in my mini-van. It's my moms.


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

Men are willing to give most women a shot so long as they are not 'hard to look at' ugly. 

But women are interested in only the best of the best men. And many women feel entitled to these guys. Most of which (women) have lackluster personalities and have average looks at best.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

Do you have a nice face? Society has taught us that women don't care about looks. That's not true. It's not only the woman's job to look good. I don't blame them for not settling for a fatty when they know they can do better than that. Not every woman is a gold digger. They actually want to have sex with someone they're physically attracted to. A lot of women look for a partner the same way guys do. A woman will go for an ugly rich guy if she's struggling with money. She doesn't want the guy. So even though ugly rich guys have a hot woman, they still don't win at life since their love for each other is fake. Single men are better off than the men who are being used. Get your heads out of the gutter and stop having the wrong idea about life. Superficiality at its perfection.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

TBH you could be the best guy ever and if you had a gun for anything other than hunting, I'd run in the opposite direction and change my phone number.


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## Strategist (May 20, 2008)

AwkwardUglyWeirdo said:


> Women like guys with serious anxiety issues, especially social anxiety. If you lack social skills and are socially awkward, that's a bonus.
> 
> Women love guys who are loners and don't have many friends
> 
> ...


Hahaha.... beautiful post.


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## sighsigh (Nov 9, 2010)

What they really want most of all - and deep down inside we all know this - is: someone who doesn't have social anxiety disorder.

I would give the Nardil another try, OP. You said you stopped it due to sexual side effects, but from what I've read the sexual sides abate 3-6 months in. 

Can I ask what kind of sexual side effects you had on Nardil? So far I've gotten through 7 full days of Nardil - 6 at 75 mg and 1 at 90 mg - and am currently on day 8. I've had extremely bad delayed ejaculation, but can still 'fire the gun' after much much effort, so things have been better than expected. Hopefully things won't get worse. Libido is normal though, which is wonderful after Parnate where it was very low for me. I know you said you yourself had no sexual sides on Parnate, which is great for you and shows how individual these side effect responses can be.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

It depends on the woman. Some women only want rich guys, 6 ft tall alpha males, some only want shy nerdy guys, some like musicians, some only want men who are very religious. 

This applies to all guys. Social skills matter, if you can't connect with the girl you're trying to impress, then what's going to happen is that you will just come off as desperate for trying to make the conversation work out of nothing and eventually she's going to ghost you. Forming that connection early on with a woman is key, if you struggle knowing what to say to her and forming that connection, you're going to have a hard time. This is why shy guys who hardly talk at all never get the girl they like because they fail to communicate. 


So how the heck do I form a connection with a girl? The easiest way to do it is to find girls who have the same interests as you. Because it's easier to talk to people in general who have the same interests.


This is one of the main reasons why iv'e never had a girlfriend or had much experience with women.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Me Personally (without talking about physical appearence) ? :

I'd prefer to date someone who isn't super rich, it's nice that you don't feel the need for status symbols though, but still. Power imbalance.

Finance degree is a little bit of a turn off if I'm honest.

I like the idea of power play sexually but I'm not into pain at all, and I'd prefer if I was dating someone who wanted to experiment that way that they be a 'switch.' so knowing how import sadism is to you and being completely dominant sexually... Nope personally.

We disagree poltically on many issues

You're too masculine for me personality wise. 

I'd ideally like to date someone around my age - you're considerably older than me, so you'd have to look young for your age preferably and be really awesome to make me reconsider.

I'm not a fan of guns. It's clearly a massive obsession for you and a cultural thing. You like guns like I like music. I'm not sure I want to date someone who likes guns like I like music.

I wouldn't want to live in the US.

I'm not sure we have any mutual interests? 

I can't picture you playing magic the gathering with me, or being awkwardly clumsy now and then, or snuggling a cat. Even if some of those things never happen it's important that I can picture it mentally.

play more video games.

be more nerdy.

Also like music.

Maybe be creative.

OK there we go. Hopefully you can now see we're not a hive mind.


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## Gojira (Jun 1, 2015)

Like any stereotype, this one's probably ingrained with a seed of truth :stu

Story of life:


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## IAmBreakingOut (Oct 12, 2015)

lisbeth said:


> TBH you could be the best guy ever and if you had a gun for anything other than hunting, I'd run in the opposite direction and change my phone number.


OP, guns are polarizing, so if they're central to your life, I'd share that early on, so you can focus on women compatible with that. "NRA Member" doesn't imply that. I've met many NRA members who simply hunt or have a gun locked in a safe they never touch, and some polls show most NRA members even support more gun controls.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

Why don't you look for women who are similar to yourself?


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## Jene (Jan 13, 2012)

I feel like you have a bit of a sense of entitlement. You expect women to want you because of a list of qualities you have that you think all women want in a man. But every woman is different, and love and attraction are not things that you can just expect from whoever you want based on what you think they are supposed to want in a partner.


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## peace_love (Oct 24, 2008)

I don't think anyone knows what they want. Or they do for a short while and then they change their mind once they get what they want lol. I think it is just human nature to be this way. Sorry I can't give you a direct answer, but maybe part of the problem is you not knowing what you want either? Think about this. I mean everyone should. I think at the end of the day, people get bored at some point and break up anyway because of this. Sorry if I just confused you haha.


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## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

when you ask these kinds of questions you're either going to get a list of stock qualities (intelligent, cute, funny, etc) or you're gonna get women saying, "we are all different and want different things," - which is true, but not particularly helpful in your case... and im just going to ignore all the butthurt guy responses in here and pretend they dont exist; ya'll dead to me~ \(^o^\)

i honestly think human connections are to a large extent intuitive and inexplicable. it helps to have common interests and experiences ofc, but i mean if you really really like someone you can surely seek out commonalities that might not have been apparent at first glance. we are all more connected than we think we are,imo, and it's just a matter of whether you choose to explore those leads with specific individuals or not. asking "what women want" is akin to asking ppl to describe themselves or what they want out of life - their responses will be somewhere in the ballpark but ultimately missing some key pieces, because you have to make room for unpredictability factor. i think i have a pretttty good idea of what i want, but every person is different, and they all carry with them certain unique quirks and charms that i never even knew i liked/disliked... if you can explicitly state everything you like about a person, is it really love, or is it just logic??

and finally OP i just want to say that i dont know much about you but from what ive seen on here you seem way too serious and talk wayyy too much about spanking. although, im sure there's a demographic out there that'll happily embrace that, if certain pieces of erotica ive come across on the world wide webs are anything to go by.

i wish you all the best (/^~^)/


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## peace_love (Oct 24, 2008)

Gojira said:


> Like any stereotype, this one's probably ingrained with a seed of truth :stu
> 
> Story of life:


Movies like this really f**ked my head up, so I have a love hate relationship. I still love the look in his eyes when he says that to her....ugh. Makes me melt! Lol. I am so pathetic.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)




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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

xxDark Horse said:


> My buddy told me that women like guys who twerk. So iv'e been working on my twerking and video taping myself.


Yeh, I have seen your twerking vids, you are getting quite good now.


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## Charmeleon (Aug 5, 2010)

No offense op but your obsession with firearms is a little umm...extreme. I can see how that's an instant turn off. My suggestion, ditch the guns and get a new hobby. Other than that just be like chill, fun, easy going and interesting and stuff lol.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Girls only want boyfriends that have great skills.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

xxDark Horse said:


> My buddy told me that women like guys who twerk. So iv'e been working on my twerking and video taping myself.
> .


You got dat booty tho?


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## Charmeleon (Aug 5, 2010)

RelinquishedHell said:


> Girls only want boyfriends that have great skills.


Cooking skills amarite


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

RadnessaurousRex said:


> Cooking skills amarite


Hell yeah, I microwave the sh*t out of that ramen.

For seriously though, that's why listen to your mom when she asks you to help her cook. She's trying to help her boy get laid.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

lisbeth said:


> Why don't you look for women who are similar to yourself?


Basically this.

and this:



IAmBreakingOut said:


> OP, guns are polarizing, so if they're central to your life, I'd share that early on, so you can focus on women compatible with that. "NRA Member" doesn't imply that. I've met many NRA members who simply hunt or have a gun locked in a safe they never touch, and some polls show most NRA members even support more gun controls.


Really clarify the fact that you're big on guns.


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

What women really want is chocolate. Which I have a lot of stashed away. 

So y'know...call me, ladies.


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## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

AwkwardUglyWeirdo said:


> Women like guys with serious anxiety issues, especially social anxiety. If you lack social skills and are socially awkward, that's a bonus.
> 
> Women love guys who are loners and don't have many friends
> 
> ...


I nearly cried

Of

laughter reading this lol.

Thank you.


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

There's generally a large disconnect between what women say they want and what they actually end up going for.

Most of them are attracted to confidence, even a little cockiness - as long as it's not overdone, and in a joking I'm not serious or am I? type of tone. The sort of 'I believe in myself and know what I'm doing' kind. Also a sort of warmth and strength, some character. The ability to make interesting conversation and show that you have a fun, meaningful life they'd like to get involved in.

But even if you tick off all the boxes and are a paper tiger, there is something intangible they all pick up on and decide based on that. The vibe, the chemistry. Seemingly arcane and inscrutable. That's why dates that seem to go well end up going nowhere.

So it's a numbers game, talk to as many women as you can until you find one that likes you. The frustration and failure gives way to eventual success.

Sometimes post date analysis can lead to greater understanding. But if you overdo it you can drive yourself crazy because nobody will explain to you why they don't want you, some don't even know how to describe it, and there are too many variables. Polish up your approach, think of what you can do better each time. But have some belief in what you are doing and how you're doing it too. That someone out there will like it.


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## Staticnz (Mar 25, 2013)

Ignopius said:


> Men are willing to give most women a shot so long as they are not 'hard to look at' ugly.
> 
> But women are interested in only the best of the best men. And many women feel entitled to these guys. Most of which (women) have lackluster personalities and have average looks at best.


You never fail to characterize women offensively.

Good work Iggy.


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## jingybopa (Jan 26, 2011)

Jene said:


> I have no criminal record, *have no history of substance abuse.* I've never even gotten a parking ticket! What the hell more do you want!?!


 I seem to recall more than a few posts where you've mentioned taking far more than the prescribed/recommended dose of various pharmaceuticals. Some would say, that met the definition of "substance abuse" (and they'd be correct.)


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

RelinquishedHell said:


> Girls only want boyfriends that have great skills.


This guy had amazing skills.










He used to be able to toss a pigskin a quarter of a mile.


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## SummerRae (Nov 21, 2013)

all i want is for a man to understand every need i have without me telling them my needs. watch a lot of love movies, read love stories, and listen to love songs, you'll then understand what i want. that's me personally, idk about other crazy *****es.


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## Gojira (Jun 1, 2015)

SummerDelRey said:


> all i want is for a man to understand every need i have without me telling them my needs. watch a lot of love movies, read love stories, and listen to love songs, you'll then understand what i want. that's me personally, idk about other crazy *****es.


Exactly, cuz chick flicks and steamy love books done ****ed up your miiiiiind.

Don't feel bad, it's every other girl too. Hollywood ain't in the reality business.

Put it this way, our fiction is Transformers, your fiction is The Notebook. Both... fantasy. Sigh :evil


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## Staticnz (Mar 25, 2013)

SummerDelRey said:


> all i want is for a man to understand every need i have without me telling them my needs. watch a lot of love movies, read love stories, and listen to love songs, you'll then understand what i want. that's me personally, idk about other crazy *****es.


Ahh. I take this to be representative of the female gender. Very useful information.


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

Pick up chicks at the gun range. At least then you know they share a common interest with you and won't be scared off by your collection of guns.


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## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

Helixa said:


> I'll let you in on a little secret.
> 
> ...
> 
> ...


This^ ...every woman I different and wants different things...
However, OP, you sound like a genuinely good guy....in fact alot of people here on SAS are pretty decent people...we just have to find that one I guess and work on our issues as well.


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## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

Elliot Alderson said:


> I nearly cried
> 
> Of
> 
> ...


Lol we know those were tears of sadness &#128513; lol


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## xMissChloex (Oct 7, 2012)

*WELL.. SOME* women are Lesbians! Let me say that again.. Some women are Lesbians! I.. like many other women struggling to find the one for them have trouble finding the girl of my dreams! I thought I met the one for me awhile back but I was wrong! We are still friends though ♥ xx

Anyway.. you really should stop overthinking things! Maybe what the majority of women you encounter want is someone with confidence?! I know if I was straight (I'm definitely not ) I would prefer to be with someone who was confident in themselves. I find it incredibly endearing when a woman understands that she's attractive yet doesn't flaunt it everywhere and just stays true to herself. Its adorable ♥ xx

Also.. Maybe the girl of YOUR dreams is right around the corner and you just don't know it yet?


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

Respect is a start. Niceties are also pleasant. And if you get really far, catering to a woman's needs is a must if you're in for the long run. Sound like a tall order? Indeed it is, because every person's needs are different. Hence why every girl is different. 

For example, you are rich, you have money, some women don't care for that. Others will feel appreciative if you spend it on them (like the Real Housewives of Anytown, USA). Others will appreciate the thought more than the actual monetary value. So really, it depends on what the woman wants. Some want a friend, some want uh... You ask them. I think looking for what you want in a woman, like someone mentioned, is important. Then see if she likes the same things or will like you for who you are. Again, some women want validation or a partner in crime, someone to laugh with or.. a personal jester, it all depends. Frankly, some will try in earnest to give the same even if you personally don't need any of those things. Anyway, my two cents or worthless penny.


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## saya2077 (Oct 6, 2013)

Well, personally I'm wanting chocolate right now.


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## Brownlkirs (Sep 22, 2014)

It's all about status


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## SilentStrike (Jul 14, 2014)

Well since Women like Men do not have a hive mind and all want the same thing in their romantic or sexual partners, i am going to say that each and every women have different standards and tastes for a romantic partners, so there is no correct answer, but generally confidence seems to be the most desired trait, basically you need to be sure of what you want you life and go for it without giving the impression of ever being afraid, another good trait is not being needy and despaired, letting women have their own lifes and not spending every single moment of your life with them and also not giving the impression that you are desperate for a romantic partner as that just gives the impression one is so undesirable no one else wanted him/her.
Hell, there are all kinds of men with girlfriends, even poor,ugly,fat men can have girlfriends of varying atractiveness, the thing is most of them have confidence and did not let them their weak points(like being fat or ugly) dictate that they could not have a girlfriend and went for it...now if only i could find that confidence in me.


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## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

7th.Streeter said:


> Lol we know those were tears of sadness &#128513; lol


Nope.


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## Satou T (Oct 13, 2015)

I highly recommend reading romance novels such as Twilight or Fifty Shades of Grey to get a better sense of things. Even if not all women want this type of fantasy, those books are popular because they get the readers, who are mostly female, to feel something.

I know all girls are different but, there is one generalization I can make that is true for just about everybody on the planet.

People like to feel good. People want to feel good.

People want to laugh at the water cooler at work. Do you want to?

People want to be inspired. Do you want to?

How does owning 10,000 stocks make someone else feel good? Ok, good for you, that's a great accomplishment. Well done. Back to my ****ty life.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Persephone The Dread said:


> I'd prefer to date someone who isn't super rich, it's nice that you don't feel the need for status symbols though, but still. Power imbalance.


So first I'm told money is good, but now I hear about the problem of power imbalance. If I married someone I'd demand a pre-nip. I don't about her net worth, though I wouldn't marry a financial black hole who thinks bankruptcy is something you should file ever 7 years.



Persephone The Dread said:


> Finance degree is a little bit of a turn off if I'm honest.


So now I need a degree, but it has to be in the "right" area. Would it make you feel better that I learned far more about investing from an online forum than I learn in all my finance + economics courses combined?



Persephone The Dread said:


> You're too masculine for me personality wise.


This translats to: Karl is highly logical and us ladies perfer to go on emotion. That why ladies get thrilled over a dozen roses on Feb 14, but would be pissed if you gave them an infinitely more useful $100 bill instead.

I'd ideally like to date someone around my age - you're considerably older than me, so you'd have to look young for your age preferably and be really awesome to make me reconsider.



> I'm not a fan of guns. It's clearly a massive obsession for you and a cultural thing. You like guns like I like music. I'm not sure I want to date someone who likes guns like I like music.


I didn't even own a gun till a decade ago. Nobody was interested in me when I knew nothing about shoot

I can't picture you playing magic the gathering with me, or being awkwardly clumsy now and then, or snuggling a cat. Even if some of those things never happen it's important that I can picture it mentally.



> play more video games.


I'm 42, a tad old for playing video games. Us grown up simply don't do that.

Now I find I have to like music & be creative. Do you know what I like to listen to in the car? Silence! Creative? I think I can come up with creative ideas, though not in the are art.


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## Telliblah (Sep 19, 2015)

They want _me_, the lot of them.

They're just unaware of this fact.


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## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

UltraShy said:


> I'm 42, a tad old for playing video games. Us grown up simply don't do that.


This is a problem right here. Not that you have to play video games, but your skewed view of being a grown up.

I'm 44. I'm not too old to play a video game or play on a see-saw. If I feel like playing, I'm going to play. You work so you can play.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Wings of Amnesty said:


> Women like guys without anxiety issues.


I've noticed.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Satou T said:


> I highly recommend reading romance novels such as Twilight or Fifty Shades of Grey to get a better sense of things. Even if not all women want this type of fantasy, those books are popular because they get the readers, who are mostly female, to feel something.


Isn't Christian Grey a 26-year-old self-made Billionaire? 
Nowhere in the world exists such an ultra-rich & young stud muffin. Further secret: when he whips her with his belt that infinitely more painful than women reading this drivel evidently realize.


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## pplnt (Jun 22, 2015)

Women like different things. You may be intelligent and tall and seem good on paper but that doesn't mean you're perfect or likeable to everyone in real life. You just need to find someone who enjoys your company.

About the guns, it is a huge turn-off for me and probably a lot of other women. It represents aggression and violence (not saying that you're necessarily violent but I hope you get my drift). Of course some women may like 'manly and agressive' (not meaning violent but more stereotypically male) men but I'm attracted to gentle men with hobbies such as reading, painting and playing music. It's all a matter of preference.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Zadaliya said:


> I hear similar interests are nice this time of year.


/chuckle



Jene said:


> I feel like you have a bit of a sense of entitlement. You expect women to want you because of a list of qualities you have that you think all women want in a man. But every woman is different, and love and attraction are not things that you can just expect from whoever you want based on what you think they are supposed to want in a partner.


Yup.


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## Satou T (Oct 13, 2015)

UltraShy said:


> Isn't Christian Grey a 26-year-old self-made Billionaire?
> Nowhere in the world exists such an ultra-rich & young stud muffin. Further secret: when he whips her with his belt that infinitely more painful than women reading this drivel evidently realize.


It's fantasy.

It's important to understand the ideal perfect life. Especially the one that is presented on tv and in fantasy romance books.

I realize people aren't going to have the movie romance where the girl is instantly attracted, then **** happens and they drift apart but still think about each other, and then at the end the girl is about to leave forever, but the guy runs after her and barely catches her before she gets in the cab, and then he shouts "I love you" and then the pouring rain starts to crash down all around them and they make out, and then the girl decides not to leave, and they go back to his place, and cut to the marriage ceremony.

That's not exactly how life works in the real world. I understand that. But what are the concepts that people are relating to in this type of story?

You can learn a great deal about people when you start to understand emotions. Why the hell do kids pretend they're birds when they run around outside with their arms outstretched? It makes them feel good.

In terms of romance, why do people cry at particular times in movies? Why do people feel good when the couple gets back together at the end? Something in the story is making them feel that way. They experienced the thrill of a sexy, attractive couple getting together, but then they experienced loss when the couple broke up. Then the rest of the movie they experience longing, and they hope that they will get back together. There is suspense when the man runs after the woman. And then the payoff comes when he kisses her.

In the real world, it might look something like this: 
You say hi, you smile. You talk, she smiles. Then you might not see her for a while. You play a friendly trick on her and she gets freaked out but then thinks it was cute, because you were not being threatening and it didn't involve a gun or a weapon or any type of seriousness. Teasing shows you understand how to have fun and play with her. If you understand her personality, you might pick up on things that you can tease her about. Then if she tells you something that happened to her, you can say well that was because you are this type of person, and if you do it in the right way, it might make her feel better. Eventually you'll understand what the right way is.

Not that I understand any of this in particular detail. These are just concepts that I know to be facts.

Leadership is pretty big too. But don't just rattle off your resume. Are you attracted to a resume?


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Jesuszilla said:


> Ask yourself what you want in a woman and go look for her. All wondering what women will do is drive you nuts


I tend to agree with this.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

AwkwardUglyWeirdo said:


> Women like guys with serious anxiety issues, especially social anxiety. If you lack social skills and are socially awkward, that's a bonus.
> 
> Women love guys who are loners and don't have many friends
> 
> ...


I really don't know what you're hoping to accomplish with this post. If you're trying to be funny, you failed. I'm sure you're trying to take shots at AS, but much of this post is either heavily inferred or not true at all.


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## Dre12 (Jul 25, 2014)

Less drugs, less guns more humility.

I am not talking to myself there either. I would never qualify for a gun licence in this country.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

UltraShy said:


> So first I'm told money is good, but now I hear about the problem of power imbalance. If I married someone I'd demand a pre-nip. I don't about her net worth, though I wouldn't marry a financial black hole who thinks bankruptcy is something you should file ever 7 years.
> 
> So now I need a degree, but it has to be in the "right" area. Would it make you feel better that I learned far more about investing from an online forum than I learn in all my finance + economics courses combined?
> 
> ...


haha, I posted that to illistrate women vary. And video games are for all ages.

I'm not a finance degree fan because I prefer people who have similar values to me and that would rarely lead to studying finance.

No I like logical men, and stocism is fine.(I'm not physically emotive really in real life myself), but you're quite aggressive, and you project this stereotype of masculinity that I'm not drawn to. I mean I'm not hyper feminine myself and I generally don't relate to people who are one extreme or the other.

I don't like valentines day either, gotta lol at how even now you're making assumptions based on your idea of what women want. Flowers and stuff like that aren't 'romantic' they're generic because everyone gives that to their partner. Also, the flowers are dying... I just don't understand that.

Anyway you should be focussing on women who are more similar to you. I have no idea what you've tried. The gun thing probably is going to put lots of women off though, so maybe find an online dating site for gun enthusiasts or something.


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## SaladDays (Nov 26, 2013)

You have some very attractive qualities about yourself, what could be turning women off the most, I'd imagine, is your age and maybe some of your hobbies like guns for instance, no, they don't necessarily think you're dangerous, they may just be uninterested and/or dislike discussing the subject.
then again what do i know?


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## andy0128 (Dec 19, 2003)

First of all you have to find someone who isn't completely turned off by you for whatever reasons be it appearance, personality, lifestyle. Luckily not all women want the same things. Then you have to work on seducing them, maybe as well making an extra effort to do things you're not comfortable in doing. Try to make the laugh rather than being overly serious, make nice gestures from time to time, surprise them, be there for them as a friend without being too clingy, but don't wait too long before showing more of a romantic interest.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

mjkittredge said:


> There's generally a large disconnect between what women say they want and what they actually end up going for.
> 
> Most of them are attracted to confidence, even a little cockiness - as long as it's not overdone, and in a joking I'm not serious or am I? type of tone. The sort of 'I believe in myself and know what I'm doing' kind. Also a sort of warmth and strength, some character. The ability to make interesting conversation and show that you have a fun, meaningful life they'd like to get involved in.
> 
> ...


Yeah these are wise words too, as are most of your posts.


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## SaladDays (Nov 26, 2013)

lisbeth said:


> TBH you could be the best guy ever and if you had a gun for anything other than hunting, I'd run in the opposite direction and change my phone number.


That's a shame, many men are into guns as a hobby and wouldn't hurt a fly.I'm not one of them, I don't see myself owning one for self defense or as a hobby if I was rich, just so you know.(the deadliest weapon I'd probably get for self defense would be pepper spray lol)


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

xxDark Horse said:


> My buddy told me that women like guys who twerk. So iv'e been working on my twerking and video taping myself.


this is 1000000% true and i'm not even kidding _that_ much


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## JohnDoe26 (Jun 6, 2012)

Have you ever heard of the red pill? :grin2:


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## SaladDays (Nov 26, 2013)

UltraShy said:


> I'm 42, a tad old for playing video games. Us grown up simply don't do that.


You're not too old to play video games, I don't know whether or not you've ever conisered it before or want to get into it, but don't sell yourself short thinking you're too old to play games, they're a form of entertainment for people of all ages, especially nowadays with the wide variety of games available, there are certainly those that can cater to people such as yourself


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

Satou T said:


> I highly recommend reading romance novels such as Twilight or Fifty Shades of Grey


That's way harsh, man. No one deserves that.


----------



## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

UltraShy said:


> ladies perfer to go on emotion. That why ladies get thrilled over a dozen roses on Feb 14, but would be pissed if you gave them an infinitely more useful $100 bill instead.


I'm one of the ones that would actually prefer a $100 bill, lol.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

SaladDays said:


> That's a shame, many men are into guns as a hobby and wouldn't hurt a fly.I'm not one of them, I don't see myself owning one for self defense or as a hobby if I was rich, just so you know.(the deadliest weapon I'd probably get for self defense would be pepper spray lol)


Why would you want to collect offensive weapons if you don't have some (even just fantasy) interest in violence?

I'm not heading into Bluebeard's castle.


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## UnusualSuspect (Feb 24, 2014)

srschirm said:


> I really don't know what you're hoping to accomplish with this post. If you're trying to be funny, you failed. I'm sure you're trying to take shots at AS, but much of this post is either heavily inferred or not true at all.


This post was sarcastic and not meant to be taken seriously. However, I don't agree that I completely failed at being funny since three other members quoted it and said it was funny.


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## darkangelrebekah7 (Jul 15, 2015)

Lynxrunner said:


> Women don't know what they want until they've been in some relationships. This is probably true for men as well.


Word...


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## SaladDays (Nov 26, 2013)

lisbeth said:


> Why would you want to collect offensive weapons if you don't have some (even just fantasy) interest in violence?


I don't know, I don't see an appeal either so I can't answer that question.You're assuming people always buy things with the intention of using them, though, which is the rational thing to do, but it isn't always the case.There are people who collect cars, for instance, which they rarely if ever drive.I suppose people's obsession with guns can be similar to that, the best way I can describe it by comparing it to someone collecting art, only their obsessed with guns as opposed to paintings, in a kind of artistic way if that makes any sense?


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

SaladDays said:


> I don't know, I don't see an appeal either so I can't answer that question.You're assuming people always buy things with the intention of using them, though, which is the rational thing to do, but it isn't always the case.There are people who collect cars, for instance, which they rarely if ever drive.I suppose people's obsession with guns can be similar to that, the best way I can describe it by comparing it to someone collecting art, only their paintings are guns.


I'm from a country with super strict gun control so the idea of anyone doing this is totally alien to me. I mean, one of the criteria for owning a gun here is having a reason to own a gun. Here in the UK, you can pretty much only own shotguns and rifles, you need to apply for a certificate from the police (which includes visits, interviews, record checks, references etc), and then the police will visit your property every few years to check you've got them stored securely. My dad owns 5-6 guns so I've experienced this firsthand, and honestly it's great.

Like I said, guns for hunting etc are no sweat, but the kind of guns designed to be used against people... there's literally nothing a guy could say that wouldn't have me running in the opposite direction. I can't think of any believable reason that doesn't boil down to "there's a chance I might shoot someone someday".


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## SilkyJay (Jul 6, 2015)

only mel gibson knows


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## SaladDays (Nov 26, 2013)

lisbeth said:


> Like I said, guns for hunting etc are no sweat, but the kind of guns designed to be used against people... there's literally nothing a guy could say that wouldn't have me running in the opposite direction. I can't think of any believable reason that doesn't boil down to "I think I might shoot somebody someday".


Well, I have to admit I'd have the same reaction.If I had it my way, guns would be illegal, just look at the homicide deaths in the USA and compare them to those where guns are banned such as Japan, there is a clear corelation between the accessability of firearms and homicides.I know though, that there is a world of difference between a harmless collector of guns and a criminal intent on using their gun.That said I still would rather guns be banned at the expense of a few people who'd like to own guns as collectors for the greater good.
(and if any Americans are reading this, I'm not from America so I'm not referring to America, no need to bring up your constitution, which by the way states that you have a right to _a well regulated militia,_ not necessarily allowing everyone and their mother to obtain guns)


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

SaladDays said:


> Well, I have to admit I'd have the same reaction.If I had it my way, guns would be illegal, just look at the homicide deaths in the USA and compare them to those where guns are banned such as Japan, there is a clear corelation between the accessability of firearms and homicides.I know though, that there is a world of difference between a harmless collector of guns and a criminal intent on using their gun.That said I still would rather guns be banned at the expense of a few people who'd like to own guns as collectors for the greater good.
> (and if any Americans are reading this, I'm not from America so I'm not referring to America, no need to bring up your constitution, which by the way states that you have a right to _a well regulated militia,_ not necessarily allowing everyone and their mother to obtain guns)












Great post. The Americans won't like it, but great post.


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## Sco (Aug 2, 2015)

Since this turned out to be a talk about guns, I'd love to own a katana, I have a hunting knife from my father , but I think it would be a little scary for women, they usually don't like it. My dad has swords and my mother is not so happy about it, but his friends are fascinated =D.


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## UnusualSuspect (Feb 24, 2014)

idk, but here is something women don't want: getting shot at with a gun


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## losthismarbles (Jul 5, 2014)

I have for you here a totally serious documentary on what girls want.


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## jingybopa (Jan 26, 2011)

lisbeth said:


> Great post. The Americans won't like it, but great post.


 Hey now. I'm an American and I like that post!


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## sabbath9 (Dec 30, 2014)

bad boys


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## Satou T (Oct 13, 2015)

I can see this is the gun thread now.

Back when the Bill of Rights was written ("you can't take away our guns! the founding fathers!!!!") the fastest weapon widely accessible was the _musket rifle_. Do you know how long those things take to reload? Imagine a school shooter taking one of THOSE on a maniacal rampage. One shot, that's it. After that he'd be tackled before he could reload! And people are arguing that they want to keep their semi-automatic pistols with 20~ round magazines because someone in the 1700s said everyone had the right to a musket rifle? Come on!!!

I say get rid of all of them. The guns, of course. 

Apparently Australia had a gun buyback program - they offered a fair price on everyones' guns, and after a grace period they made tighter gun laws, better background checks etc. and now it's almost as though there aren't any guns there, with the way things have gone since then. Good idea, but it requires a buyback budget. Well, that would be one way to fairly take them all away. Not that they _really_ have value in the first place, but that's for non-pacifists to decide. :roll


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

sabbath9 said:


> bad boys


So I should drive a stolen car?:stu


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

lisbeth said:


> Why would you want to collect offensive weapons if you don't have some (even just fantasy) interest in violence?


They'll all for target shooting. Target shooting is a legitimate hobby that requires serious skill. I've NEVER bought any gun for defensive purposes.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

I only read the first page, then browsed the second...a few people mentioned things like "similar interests" and "we all want different things," which are the best answers (why does this question ever have to be asked for either gender, does anybody out there REALLY believe all men or all women want the *same* things??), but before I lost interest in reading the entire thread, this reply stuck out:



Persephone The Dread said:


> Me Personally (without talking about physical appearence) ? :
> 
> I'd prefer to date someone who isn't super rich, it's nice that you don't feel the need for status symbols though, but still. Power imbalance.
> 
> ...


I'm not 100% like Persephone, but this is along the lines of my answer. To the OP, *we have no interests in common*. I'm not into guns or finances or whatnot, I'm not into sexplay and BDSM and Libertarianism and whatnot, I'm into _completely_ different things which you (OP) would probably find mindnumbingly boring (and _totally_ incompatible, as in I do not want _any_ type of sex).

I'm also not attractive to look at whatsoever. Fat, dumpy, unappealing.

I'm pretty, _pretty_ sure that if we were to pass on the street, even if you knew somehow that I'm single, you would not glance my way; and if I had my photo, along with the same info I have on my SAS profile, posted on a dating site, you would click right on by it without a second thought. (Same goes for probably 99%, if not 100%, of the other guys on SAS who are wondering what we women want from them.)

*Yet I don't come to SAS and post a thread asking why guys aren't interested in a woman like me.* :blank The reasons seem pretty obvious. Perhaps you are overlooking some obvious reasons as well.

That's not an attack, since I understand your frustration...but it's the truth. The truth is apparently not as simple and clear cut as you wish it were. To that I can only say...life is not simple and clear cut. And neither are people. :stu


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## livetolovetolive (Jun 11, 2015)

OP you seem like a really nice guy when it comes down to it. You make these posts asking for advice and I'm not sure why. I know you're not taking any advice from anyone but you. I'm not sure how bad the world was to you, but I take it you didn't have it easy. 

If you could somehow open yourself up again to the world you'd find a girl. Would you say you despise the idea of being seen as weak or vulnerable? All it means is that you're a feeling human being. Girls generally don't like a guy who is afraid to show any sort of weakness, it's inhuman and artificial. 

How can we really get to know who the sweet, feeling UltraShy is if you've always got your defenses on the offense... the guns, the sadism, the not-afraid-to-give-my-name-everyone-else-is-cowardly, the intellectual, the wall street moneybags kingpin of SAS, the bottom-line sober-minded libertarian who says what everyone else is too weak or afraid to say.

You know I have an idea. I think you are very afraid and you cover it up with all that stuff to keep people at bay, and because it makes you feel strong when you really feel weak. You've adopted this whole surface persona that makes you feel powerful. That might work on some guys, but women can sense that stuff. You gotta let your vulnerability and weakness have some light, otherwise they're never gonna grow and you're never actually going to feel like this powerful person you delude yourself into thinking you really are with the guns and what-not.

Good luck to you sir in finding a good woman. There's some girl who will see past this nonsense you get on with to see the real you beneath, and she will love you for you and hopefully then you'll fall out of love with guns.


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## OutsideR1 (Mar 13, 2014)

UltraShy said:


> So I should drive a stolen car?:stu


How about a motorcycle?


----------



## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

SaladDays said:


> Well, I have to admit I'd have the same reaction.If I had it my way, guns would be illegal, just look at the homicide deaths in the USA and compare them to those where guns are banned such as Japan, there is a clear corelation between the accessability of firearms and homicides.I know though, that there is a world of difference between a harmless collector of guns and a criminal intent on using their gun.That said I still would rather guns be banned at the expense of a few people who'd like to own guns as collectors for the greater good.
> (and if any Americans are reading this, I'm not from America so I'm not referring to America, no need to bring up your constitution, which by the way states that you have a right to _a well regulated militia,_ not necessarily allowing everyone and their mother to obtain guns)


 If I had my way, I'd make spaces after periods mandatory. Saving my bleeding eyeballs from the train wreck that is your post would be greater than good.


----------



## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

mjkittredge said:


> There's generally a large disconnect between what women say they want and what they actually end up going for.
> 
> *Most of them are attracted to confidence, even a little cockiness - as long as it's not overdone, and in a joking I'm not serious or am I? type of tone. The sort of 'I believe in myself and know what I'm doing' kind. Also a sort of warmth and strength, some character. The ability to make interesting conversation and show that you have a fun, meaningful life they'd like to get involved in.*
> 
> ...


Overall that's a damn good post.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

OutsideR1 said:


> How about a motorcycle?


Why not:

-hot as hell in summer.
-freezing much of the year.
-useless in the snow
-3,000# steel cage with seat belt & air bags entirely surrounding me, vs a severe case of road rash in an accident & likely broken bones.
-Oh, what fun to drive in the rain!
-Getting run off the road by folks who fail to see you, while it's much harder to not see a car.
-Where do I put the groceries?

I'm too old to be cool. I'm practical, having things that a massive trunk.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

livetolovetolive said:


> OP you seem like a really nice guy when it comes down to it. You make these posts asking for advice and I'm not sure why. I know you're not taking any advice from anyone but you. I'm not sure how bad the world was to you, but I take it you didn't have it easy.
> 
> If you could somehow open yourself up again to the world you'd find a girl. Would you say you despise the idea of being seen as weak or vulnerable? All it means is that you're a feeling human being. Girls generally don't like a guy who is afraid to show any sort of weakness, it's inhuman and artificial.
> 
> ...


My God what a wonderful post. Listen to this guy Karl.

Wise beyond his years.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

lisbeth said:


> Why would you want to collect offensive weapons if you don't have some (even just fantasy) interest in violence


Every gun I ever bought was for target shooting. What exactly is the difference between a defensive weapon and an offensive weapons as you insist on calling the? Are you aware of some magical gun that's unable to fire except in define??


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## SaladDays (Nov 26, 2013)

lisbeth said:


> Great post. The Americans won't like it, but great post.


Oh you don't know how right you were :lol



WillYouStopDave said:


> If I had my way, I'd make spaces after periods mandatory. Saving my bleeding eyeballs from the train wreck that is your post would be greater than good.


tfw Americans on SAS hate me now


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

cinnamonqueen said:


> You sound like a great catch ultra shy. There isn't anything wrong with you, just try approaching all kinds of women. I think the women you describe aren't majority of women.
> 
> I've dated men who were poor and men who were financially secure. It's about who the person is inside. When guys mention superficial women it makes me think who do they run into?
> 
> Just learn to initiate, and approach women against your type as well, love is where you least expect it.


Honestly, I haven't really run into the "gold digger" thing much, anyway. I think my entire aura would repel such types. Initiating is key, you're so right. Even those we might not initially think is our type.


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## Skyzz (Oct 15, 2015)

I want a jar full of air from the highest point of Mt Everest.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

cinnamonqueen said:


> You sound like a great catch ultra shy. There isn't anything wrong with you, just try approaching all kinds of women. I think the women you describe aren't majority of women.
> 
> I've dated men who were poor and men who were financially secure. It's about who the person is inside. *When guys mention superficial women it makes me think who do they run into?*
> 
> Just learn to initiate, and approach women against your type as well, love is where you least expect it.


You haven't spent much time in Asia have you? 

Plenty of gold-diggers here. They sort of go with the territory.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

don said:


> You haven't spent much time in Asia have you?
> 
> Plenty of gold-diggers here. They sort of go with the territory.


True, but plenty of them aren't, either...


----------



## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

srschirm said:


> True, but plenty of them aren't, either...


 Maybe

I'm talking specifically about SE Asia though mate - they can be like piranha's here.

Need to keep your wits about you.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

don said:


> Maybe
> 
> I'm talking specifically about SE Asia though mate - they can be like piranha's here.
> 
> Need to keep your wits about you.


Haha I know what you mean...Yet it's interesting, some of the most genuine people I've ever met hail from there.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

cinnamonqueen said:


> Initiating is so important, I think women and men might exclude someone as not their type because they 'might be too beautiful" but it robbing yourself of a chance.


Right. Plus, oftentimes we are afraid of approaching someone who catches our eye right off the bat.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

srschirm said:


> Haha I know what you mean...Yet it's interesting, some of the most genuine people I've ever met hail from there.


Definitely my friend - me too. I'm in Jakarta right now. My gf lives here. She's fantastic and an exception, thank God. But there's a whole culture of women looking for bules (pronounced boolay) - meaning western guys here. They almost hunt them.


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## nothing else (Oct 27, 2013)

Tall white guys


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

don said:


> Definitely my friend - me too. I'm in Jakarta right now. My gf lives here. She's fantastic and an exception, thank God. But there's a whole culture of women looking for bules (pronounced boolay) - meaning western guys here. They almost hunt them.


Check your PMs.


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## SilkyJay (Jul 6, 2015)

cinnamonqueen said:


> I've dated men who were poor and men who were financially secure. It's about who the person is inside. When guys mention superficial women it makes me think who do they run into?
> 
> Just learn to initiate, and approach women against your type as well, *love is where you least expect it*.


I pray to run into a nice lady like yourself someday, in a frame of mind that I'm ready and able to articulate, a hello.

I really like that last bit, it's almost like it deserves to be a quote or something. And honestly I think it's so freaking true. Or I sure hope so. It makes me want to go introduce myself to the one girl I've been to shy to talk to over the past year. I feel like I've waited to long, but it's just such a different situation to initiate in, than I've ever been accustomed to in the past. I'd rather not have a stroke in front of her, but you're so right about learning to initiate against what your comfy with.

:heart is where you least expect it. I just wanted to repeat it for good luck. ahhhh


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

They like a man with a nice face.

Bonuses:

Rewarding career
Danceability
Humo(u)r
Desire to travel and experience art and culture, thus cohabiting the world with other people

If conclusion, if only I had a nice face.


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## theloneleopard (Jul 5, 2015)

UltraShy said:


> I don't have STDs, I don't smoke.


Ah...but do you DRINK? Because if there's ONE thing I learned about living in Wiscowsin, it's that life revolves around bars. Much like it revolves around churches down here in the Bible Belt.

You seem rather...isolated. Why not hit the neighboring water hole(s)? Isn't it like some unwritten rule that there must be a bar every stone's throw? There were something like five in the town of around 300, where I lived.

Unless you're looking for a model-esque physique, I see no reason why you couldn't find some fellow gun enthusiast Wisconsinite female. That is...unless you *don't *drink.

In THAT case...you're pretty well _screwed_.


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

I didn't read the whole thread (seven pages) but I will agree with posters that rightfully pointed out that women are actually people and individuals. The list of "what women want" isn't attainable. There is no such thing.

That line in your first post about being such a great listener because you listened without having the intention of having sex isn't the great selling point you think it is. :stu I am sure you meant well but your phrasing there could use work.

Relationships start because of chemistry and common interests. Plain and simple. Not because of any laundry list of "good" qualities.

I think the fact you are so into the BDSM or whatever the initials are is going to limit your options greatly though. I am not saying it's a "bad" thing or anything like that...just that only a certain percentage of women are going to be interested in that. I am sure they are out there. It could be millions of women for all I know. 

And you say you don't have a substance abuse problem but you have often spoken of the vast amount of drugs you take on a daily basis. Whether or not it's fair, some might view that as a problem. Just saying. :/ 

I do wish you luck and am sure that if you focus on common interests you will meet someone. Anxiety does make it about 10x harder to meet someone. :hug


----------



## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

WineKitty said:


> I didn't read the whole thread (seven pages) but I will agree with posters that rightfully pointed out that women are actually people and individuals. The list of "what women want" isn't attainable. There is no such thing.
> 
> That line in your first post about being such a great listener because you listened without having the intention of having sex isn't the great selling point you think it is. :stu I am sure you meant well but your phrasing there could use work.
> 
> ...


If only women had to work to win men's respect and not the other way around!? Seriously women should be working their *** off to get a guy like Ultra Shy to date them. But that's not how women are programmed to function.


----------



## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Staticnz said:


> They just want a guy who treats them with respect, listens, is relatable, not too bad looking, and isn't homeless.
> 
> If they are a regular, well adjusted person.


And then you see her boyfriend, he's a chain smoking douche on a motorcycle who treats her like crap. And they have 2 kids and have been together a decade.


----------



## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

They want your soul.


----------



## mattmc (Jun 27, 2013)

The closest I've had to luck with women was similar interests, being like-minded, that kind of thing. When a woman doesn't share much in common with me then we'd probably end up acquaintances at most.


----------



## SadGhost (Oct 23, 2015)

xxDark Horse said:


> My buddy told me that women like guys who twerk. So iv'e been working on my twerking and video taping myself.
> 
> For some reason the idea of you learning to twerk in order to attract a girl makes me really happy. It's like the male birds who do a courtship dance to attract a mate.
> 
> Best of luck, and I hope it works out well.


----------



## ByStorm (Oct 22, 2013)

AwkwardUglyWeirdo said:


> Women like guys with serious anxiety issues, especially social anxiety. If you lack social skills and are socially awkward, that's a bonus.
> 
> Women love guys who are loners and don't have many friends
> 
> ...


I can attest to this. Women swoon whenever I tell them about the 700+ posts that I've made in my SAS career. It's like I'm really a stud.


----------



## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

Ignopius said:


> If only women had to work to win men's respect and not the other way around!?


Okay so you quoted me and then say this? What are you talking about and how does that in any way relate to what I said?



> Seriously women should be working their *** off to get a guy like Ultra Shy to date them.


No one should have to "work their *** off" to date anyone. I never have and never will. Either it's there or it isn't.



> *But that's not how women are programmed to function.*


Wow, now you are just being ****ing ridiculous. :roll Although you make some very good posts, and I agree with much of what you write, this is truly an ignorant thing to say. Think about it.


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

knightofdespair said:


> And then you see her boyfriend, he's a chain smoking douche on a motorcycle who treats her like crap. And they have 2 kids and have been together a decade.


Re-read the part where Staticnz said, *"regular, well-adjusted person."*

The women (and men) you're talking about are usually not that type of person.


----------



## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

WineKitty said:


> I didn't read the whole thread (seven pages) but I will agree with posters that rightfully pointed out that women are actually people and individuals. The list of "what women want" isn't attainable. There is no such thing.
> 
> That line in your first post about being such a great listener because you listened without having the intention of having sex isn't the great selling point you think it is. :stu I am sure you meant well but your phrasing there could use work.
> 
> ...


I was about to post the same thing word for word.

I couldn't really tell you how any of my relationships started. Yeah most of the time I approached her, but there were some where she approached me. There wasn't a "line" I gave her that "worked magic". It was just the fact that we sort of hit it off. We started talking. The chemistry was there. We had fun together. We were at ease with each other. We laughed together. We couldn't wait to see each other again.

I don't think I've ever started with a list of "what women want" and then tried to remake myself from that, or something. I just am who I am. I mean, looking back I seem to have the most "luck" when I'm just being myself. I know how that sounds. But I think that's what people mean when they say that you're going to find love when you least expect it, because I've found that I find the real thing when I'm just being me. No acts, no fronts, no pickup lines, no lists of what she wants me to conform to be, none of that BS.

Karl, in my opinion you're way too forward with all the BDSM stuff. You even started a thread about it a few weeks ago. You were wondering why a woman you were friends with on this site got so offended when you suggested that she be your "pain ****" I believe is the phrase you used. It's because (in my humble opinion) you're way too forward about it. Not everyone is into that stuff. It offends people. And judging by your posts, you're intelligent enough to get this, so I'm not sure why it's still an issue.


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## Findedeux (Mar 16, 2012)

What movie is this?



peace_love said:


> Movies like this really f**ked my head up, so I have a love hate relationship. I still love the look in his eyes when he says that to her....ugh. Makes me melt! Lol. I am so pathetic.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

Ignopius said:


> If only women had to work to win men's respect and not the other way around!? Seriously women should be working their *** off to get a guy like Ultra Shy to date them. But that's not how women are programmed to function.


Your posts constantly amaze me - although they shouldn't. You're very young and it shows. (no offence to you, you seem like a nice kid)

Women have to work at earning respect the same as anyone else.

And women should be working their *** off to impress Karl? Are you kidding me? That's hilarious. Why would they bother?

It's the other way around with him I'm afraid.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

One of your problems Karl - and I stress it's only one of them - is that you have a sense of entitlement. You seem to think you're entitled to a great deal. You're not. Friendships, relationships etc have to be earned - you have to give people a reason to want to be with you.

In your case I would suggest that you try to learn how to genuinely empathise with people. Learn how to open up to them - take an interest in them, not just in yourself or in what they can do for you. Then maybe you'll find someone that gives a **** about you.


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## Hamster (Sep 3, 2009)

AwkwardUglyWeirdo said:


> Women like guys with serious anxiety issues, especially social anxiety. If you lack social skills and are socially awkward, that's a bonus.
> 
> Women love guys who are loners and don't have many friends
> 
> ...


That's hot. haha


----------



## Akuba (Oct 17, 2014)

It's probably my social anxiety, thinning hair, and fairly short stature that is repelling many women at my college.


----------



## Grog (Sep 13, 2013)

Every thing and nothing all at the same time .


----------



## peace_love (Oct 24, 2008)

Findedeux said:


> What movie is this?


The Notebook


----------



## Staticnz (Mar 25, 2013)

don said:


> Your posts constantly amaze me - although they shouldn't. You're very young and it shows. (no offence to you, you seem like a nice kid)
> 
> Women have to work at earning respect the same as anyone else.
> 
> ...


I'm hoping Ig will live a little bit and grow out of this.

It will be depressing to see him grow into an MRA or something. But he lacks experience in relationships. So he might learn and grow. Yeah, he's still young.


----------



## Tom5 (Mar 13, 2012)

Money,chocolate,shoes.

/Thread


----------



## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

don said:


> One of your problems Karl - and I stress it's only one of them - is that you have a sense of entitlement. You seem to think you're entitled to a great deal. You're not. Friendships, relationships etc have to be earned - you have to give people a reason to want to be with you.
> 
> In your case I would suggest that you try to learn how to genuinely empathise with people. Learn how to open up to them - take an interest in them, not just in yourself or in what they can do for you. Then maybe you'll find someone that gives a **** about you.


Funny because he isn't even millennial. It is hard not to feel entitled though with society constantly telling people how we're supposed to look, act, and live to be considered normal. It is probably harder than ever before to not fit into those things that everyone around you will judge you silently or not so silently about everywhere you go.


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## Damon (Oct 27, 2015)

They love shoes. That's about all I know about women. Buy them lots of shoes.


----------



## pandana (Jul 13, 2015)

Damon said:


> They love shoes. That's about all I know about women. Buy them lots of shoes.


This is true. Follow his advice.


----------



## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

Oh, god. Please don't buy me any more shoes. I have too many as it is.


----------



## pandana (Jul 13, 2015)

DiscardYourFear said:


> Oh, god. Please don't buy me any more shoes. I have too many as it is.


That's absurdity. You can never have too many. Just not enough.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

They want a dude with a sex drive.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## scott83 (Aug 10, 2014)

I think some women actually don't know what they want in a partner. Having done the whole online dating thing in the past, there are those that seem to want the impossible. A lot of women seem to think telling you in depth about how amazing their life is, is somehow attractive to a man? I couldn't care less if they've visited the world and they hug pandas on Tuesdays after work, that sort of information is off putting because a lot of men will read it and think, wow how can I measure up to that? 

I don't want any women on here to think I'm generalising all women, I'm not. There are plenty of lovely ladies out there. I'm just advising guys to show the normal women some love and forget about the high maintenance ones, they're not worth the bother.


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## NathanielWingatePeaslee (Jan 6, 2010)

Bacon. Women want bacon.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

Ignopius said:


> If only women had to work to win men's respect and not the other way around!? Seriously women should be working their *** off to get a guy like Ultra Shy to date them. But that's not how women are programmed to function.


I think it might be beneficial for you to view all the MRA stuff with a more critical eye. You do yourself a disservice by not being more critical, especially re assumptions about 50% of the populace. If there is anything we can say about such a large group it would be that great variation exists within it.



NathanielWingatePeaslee said:


> Bacon. Women want bacon.


:eek cancerbacon?


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

splendidbob said:


> I think it might be beneficial for you to view all the MRA stuff with a more critical eye. You do yourself a disservice by not being more critical, especially re assumptions about 50% of the populace. If there is anything we can say about such a large group it would be that great variation exists within it.


*facepalm* It's always 'your over generalizing' and 'not everyone is like that' with the regressive left. I KNOW IM GENERALIZING!!! I'm making statements that apply to a fair amount of women (albeit not all women). But I really should not have to state this every god dam time. It stops all conversation and rational discourse.

Why can feminists talk about double standards that effect women but the very moment I talk about the ones that effect men, I get shut down? I get told I'm 'over generalizing' and 'not being critical'. You are the one stopping the dialogue. And the very people like you are the ones that are POISONING the political left.

Back to REAL CONVERSATION double standards.

Men are expected to impress women, pay for the first date (if not more date), continually complement them, and be their 'knight and shining armor'. This is a huge burden for men to have to live in this constant state of winning women over. And the moment they stop doing these things the women get bored and leave them for men who will do these things. It's about 'meeting her needs' rather than meeting the guys needs. This is a huge double standard.


----------



## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

Ignopius said:


> *facepalm* It's always 'your over generalizing' and 'not everyone is like that' with the regressive left. I KNOW IM GENERALIZING!!! I'm making statements that apply to a fair amount of women (albeit not all women). But I really should not have to state this every god dam time. It stops all conversation and rational discourse.
> 
> Why can feminists talk about double standards that effect women but the very moment I talk about the ones that effect men, I get shut down? I get told I'm 'over generalizing' and 'not being critical'. You are the one stopping the dialogue. And the very people like you are the ones that are POISONING the political left.
> 
> ...


I'm not sure how generalisations help with the end goal of keeping a conversation rational.


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## NathanielWingatePeaslee (Jan 6, 2010)

splendidbob said:


> :eek cancerbacon?


Cancerbacon is the sexiest of all the bacons.

Right after Mexican jumping bacon and Algerian warthog bacon.


----------



## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

Amphoteric said:


> I'm not sure how generalisations help with the end goal of keeping a conversation rational.


You just don't get it. I'm singling out the women who hold this double standard. Not all women. I shouldn't have to make these disclaimers anytime I open my mouth to speak. You are the one shutting down the conversation. And ignoring the truths in the point I make.

Can you admit there are some double standards men face that women don't face?


----------



## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

Ignopius said:


> *facepalm* It's always 'your over generalizing' and 'not everyone is like that' with the regressive left. I KNOW IM GENERALIZING!!! I'm making statements that apply to a fair amount of women (albeit not all women). But I really should not have to state this every god dam time. It stops all conversation and rational discourse.
> 
> Why can feminists talk about double standards that effect women but the very moment I talk about the ones that effect men, I get shut down? I get told I'm 'over generalizing' and 'not being critical'. You are the one stopping the dialogue. And the very people like you are the ones that are POISONING the political left.


1. When you generalise about 50% of the population and make claims based on this kind of insane conjecture, any conclusions you come to will be necessarily be weak because the assumptions supporting them are so flawed (50% of the population are not the same. Human traits are incredibly varied). If pointing out that you are making sweeping generalisations stops discussion on these terms, then _good_, because the discussion will be meaningless garbage. You are making an appeal to consequences. That no discussion might be occur without making heroic assumptions doesn't mean the heroic assumptions must be true.

2. The generalisations some women might make about men have no bearing on whether your generalisations about woman are correct.

3. I don't claim to be on the political left.


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## Staticnz (Mar 25, 2013)

Ignopius said:


> "It's always 'your over generalizing' and 'not everyone is like that' with the regressive left.""And the very people like you are the ones that are POISONING the political left."


Yikes. SplendidBob is a 'regressive leftist' poisoning the political left?

What should we do with him? Hang him?

I'll get the rope, meet me at the ol' regressive lefty hanging tree.


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## Staticnz (Mar 25, 2013)

splendidbob said:


> 3. I don't claim to be on the political left.


Typical regressive left cover. Obviously you are trying to poison all our dialogues.

:mum


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

Ignopius said:


> You just don't get it. I'm singling out the women who hold this double standard. Not all women. I shouldn't have to make these disclaimers anytime I open my mouth to speak. You are the one shutting down the conversation.


Actually, generalisations and stereotypes is what shuts down conversations. It polarises people to end up on the opposite sides because then it becomes an "us vs. them" platform. You see this happen in about every hot topic discussion.

By posting stuff like 


> Men are expected to impress women, pay for the first date (if not more date), continually complement them, and be their 'knight and shining armor'. This is a huge burden for men to have to live in this constant state of winning women over. And the moment they stop doing these things the women get bored and leave them for men who will do these things. It's about 'meeting her needs' rather than meeting the guys needs. This is a huge double standard.


you don't really come across as "oh, I'm just singling out a specific type of women"; you're making it sound exactly like this is how you view all women and the dynamics between genders.


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## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

Right now I want a pizza. Pepperoni, Italian Sausage, and extra cheese!


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## Staticnz (Mar 25, 2013)

Amphoteric said:


> you don't really come across as "oh, I'm just singling out a specific type of women"; you're making it sound exactly like this is how you view all women and the dynamics between genders.


I actually don't have a problem with his general point at all, that men ARE indeed expect to fulfill extra functions, such as organizing a date and being confident and ticking certain boxes...in a GENERAL fashion (obviously not every date). It's a kind of the bigotry of expectations and what we are conditioned to believe is how a date should go.

I don't mind if a woman takes control, but it's seen as unmanly and de-masculating, and that's a big problem. Too much pride in men, and perhaps expectations in women, when it's best if everybody can just be a human. But men often expect too much too, rather than be happy to have good company, and just see where it leads. Women on the other hand might be conditioned to believe that a quiet non-assertive man is automatically less of a catch, because they should be wined and dined (like in the movies?).

Where Ig. totally F's up though, is that we are obviously expected to speak with real precision about men/males and male problems. People totally hit you up on that, all the time. But loose talk is fine about women. Who gives a F...they're _women_. We're men. People should just know what we mean.

It's that us. vs. them. stuff that is really _poisoning_ the dialogue (not just this dialogue), not fanciful made up terms like regressive left or some cravenly political BS like that.


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

Staticnz said:


> I actually don't have a problem with his general point at all, that men ARE indeed expect to fulfill extra functions, such as organizing a date and being confident and ticking certain boxes...in a GENERAL fashion (obviously not every date). *It's a kind of the bigotry of expectations and what we are conditioned to believe is how a date should go. *
> 
> I don't mind if a woman takes control, but it's seen as unmanly and de-masculating, and that's a big problem. Too much pride in men, and perhaps expectations in women, when it's best if everybody can just be a human. But men often expect too much too, rather than be happy to have good company, and just see where it leads. Women on the other hand might be conditioned to believe that a quiet non-assertive man is automatically less of a catch, because they should be wined and dined (like in the movies?).
> 
> ...


Sure I mean, there are men and women who have very specific expectations for how dating and courtship and wooing and all that nonsense should go. But for a guy in this, their own life is not gonna get any easier thinking and feeling that it's all so unfair because all girls have to do is just sit on their *** and watch the date invitations flow in. There are a lot of these "traditional" roles and expectations for both of the genders, and personally you just have to decide if that's what you want to subscribe into. And if you don't, then you just have to find people who are on the same page in that.


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## Staticnz (Mar 25, 2013)

Amphoteric said:


> There are a lot of these "traditional" roles and expectations for both of the genders, and personally you just have to decide if that's what you want to subscribe into. And if you don't, then *you just have to find people who are on the same page in that*.


Yup. That's the really difficult seeming part though.

I mean, I hope mainstream culture doesn't also represent the number of shallow people in the world, because that would appear to be...a lot. A lot of materialistic people. All the PUAs and MRAs are just as shallow as the mainstream though, and just as depressing to me. That we are no more than biology and judgments of physical worth. That keeps us all miserable...chasing stereotypes...stuck believing we can never be worth more (without lying about ourselves, or fighting against women with our issues).

I know those good people are out there though. I've met a number of them. I'm hoping a lot of us get the chance to.


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## Jason Keener (Nov 29, 2013)

I can't believe how many people here are opposed to guns or an interest in guns. For one, guns are interesting from a mechanical standpoint. Men like mechanical things and things you can collect in general. Second, and most importantly, we live in a dangerous world. We live in a country (U.S.A.) where the government becomes more oppressive every day. Americans should cherish their Second Amendment rights, and the fact that an armed citizenry will help to prevent a government from ever becoming too dictatorial.

Finally, if any guys are interested in learning about the principles of what women find attractive, they should read the book _Models: Attract Women Through Honesty _by Mark Manson. In short, women are attracted to men who are more invested in themselves than they are in any woman. This doesn't mean a guy has to be an arrogant jerk, but it means he has to have a sure sense of himself and not be willing to alter his interests, personality, opinions, etc., in any serious way just to please a woman. I'm sure all women here will agree they are immediately turned off by a guy who they can walk all over. In any event, go to Mark Manson's book, website, or YouTube videos for more good information. Lastly, much of dating is a numbers game. I've talked to guys who are extremely good-looking and good with women, and even they get many more rejections than positive reactions. We need to learn how to accept "rejection" and keep pushing through as we create more and more opportunities to meet girls.


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## Staticnz (Mar 25, 2013)

Jason Keener said:


> Finally, if any guys are interested in learning about the principles of what women find attractive, they should read the book _Models: Attract Women Through Honesty _by Mark Manson. In short, women are attracted to men who are more invested in themselves than they are in any woman.


VERY interesting.

PUA is mostly how to be a gigantic sh*tty liar and create a false image of confidence in order to get laid. Always found it repulsive.

But a 'pick up' strategy based on an emotional connection, being a good person, being genuinely confident and expressive? Sounds GREAT. And it actually WORKS. A game changer. + real confidence in yourself is way more attractive to a woman than a fake persona and empty manipulation.

:clap

PUAs are FLEECING people with low self-esteem. Just manipulating them completely.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Staticnz said:


> VERY interesting.
> 
> PUA is mostly how to be a gigantic sh*tty liar and create a false image of confidence in order to get laid. Always found it repulsive.
> 
> ...


Yeah, I'm with you. At some point your true personality will show, and if she doesn't like it, is she really worth your time?


----------



## Jason Keener (Nov 29, 2013)

Staticnz said:


> VERY interesting.
> 
> PUA is mostly how to be a gigantic sh*tty liar and create a false image of confidence in order to get laid. Always found it repulsive.
> 
> ...


You guys might also want to take a look at Johnny Berba's recent YouTube videos and Zan Perrion's YouTube videos. Both of these guys base their teachings on honesty and being your authentic self, even if that means admitting to a woman that you are nervous when you are asking her out. To connect with a woman, you have to actually connect with her. You do this by confidently and authentically revealing your true and vulnerable self. Doing so is a sign of strength. It indicates to a woman that your opinion about yourself will not be determined by how she or any other woman reacts to you. As long as a man's honesty is revealed in a kind and normal way, women will greatly appreciate this kind of honesty.

Unfortunately, for most guys, their opinion of themselves is directly affected by how girls react to them, even girls who they've just met. This is a huge turn-off to women. A woman wants to share in a man's world but will be immediately turned off if she herself becomes the man's whole world.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Jason Keener said:


> You guys might also want to take a look at Johnny Berba's recent YouTube videos and Zan Perrion's YouTube videos. Both of these guys base their teachings on honesty and being your authentic self, even if that means admitting to a woman that you are nervous when you are asking her out. To connect with a woman, you have to actually connect with her. You do this by confidently and authentically revealing your true and vulnerable self. Doing so is a sign of strength. It indicates to a woman that your opinion about yourself will not be determined by how she or any other woman reacts to you. As long as a man's honesty is revealed in a kind and normal way, women will greatly appreciate this kind of honesty.
> For most guys, their opinion of themselves is directly affected by how girls react to them, even girls who they've just met. This is a huge turn-off to women. A woman wants to be drawn into a man's world but will be immediately turned off if she herself becomes the man's whole world.


Lately, I've found that honesty has been the best policy, as well. If they don't like your genuine self, are they worth your time? Ask yourself that.


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## scott83 (Aug 10, 2014)

Jason Keener said:


> I can't believe how many people here are opposed to guns or an interest in guns. For one, guns are interesting from a mechanical standpoint. Men like mechanical things and things you can collect in general. Second, and most importantly, we live in a dangerous world. We live in a country (U.S.A.) where the government becomes more oppressive every day. Americans should cherish their Second Amendment rights, and the fact that an armed citizenry will help to prevent a government from ever becoming too dictatorial.


Firstly, let me just say I have no problem with guns, I have a few air rifles myself, granted they aren't "real" firearms but gun ownership is kinda trickier here in England.

Secondly, I'm somewhat intrigued as to how gun ownership by the populace helps curb the American government? The USA spends more than any other country on defence so surely they have the hardware to out gun any civilian milita, not to mention some of the best soldiers.

If anything, the impression we get over here is that guns are a problem in America, far from being tools of the pro democratic, instead they're used to commit theft or to murder innocent people. Guns were clamped down on by the government over here following the Dunblane massacre, and thankfully there hasn't been a repeat since. Whereas some crazed individual going into a school and shooting everyone seems to be an all too regular occurrence in the USA.

Obviously guns themselves aren't the problem, its the people that use them. But there are far too many stupid people in this world for mass gun ownership to be a good thing.


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## Jason Keener (Nov 29, 2013)

srschirm said:


> Yeah, I'm with you. At some point your true personality will show, and if she doesn't like it, is she really worth your time?


I agree. You should be your true self right away so the girl can accept or reject you. If she "rejects" you, she is doing you a favor because you two wouldn't be compatible anyways. You can then move on without wasting a ton of time. If a guy does pretend to be someone else and gets away with it for awhile, the girl will eventually discover who he truly is and then end up bitter and hostile because she was conned. Moreover, what fun would it be for a guy to be in a relationship where he has to hide his true self? No, thanks!


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## Jason Keener (Nov 29, 2013)

scott83 said:


> Firstly, let me just say I have no problem with guns, I have a few air rifles myself, granted they aren't "real" firearms but gun ownership is kinda trickier here in England.
> 
> Secondly, I'm somewhat intrigued as to how gun ownership by the populace helps curb the American government? The USA spends more than any other country on defence so surely they have the hardware to out gun any civilian milita, not to mention some of the best soldiers.
> 
> ...


It's true the United States has a huge military, but the government would have a more difficult time becoming dictatorial if they knew that the citizens themselves were also armed. It is a troubling development in the United States that even local police forces are now using so much military-type equipment. Some of this equipment is needed because the police have to deal with more dangerous situations now than in the past, but it's still a good thing for the populace to be armed. People need to be able to defend themselves, especially in a world that is so violent and chaotic. One never knows when a breakdown of the civil order could occur in a town near you. I'd want to be well-armed if that happened for my own safety and that of my family and friends. For example, imagine the chaos that would be created if terrorists disrupted part of our power grid. People would panic and do who knows what.


----------



## RiversEdge (Aug 21, 2011)

Chemistry.
Each woman has a unique, personal mental list of what they want and don't want- but I really think that chemistry -- that strong, mutual attraction is what initiates things and draws people to one another.


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## Cletis (Oct 10, 2011)

The young ones (say under 25) only care about looks. All they want is a good looking guy - doesn't matter who he is or what he does. Or his net worth.

As they mature and get older they want security. They want a nice guy who will treat them right and who is good husband/father material. Looks become less important now - but are still a factor. They don't want a Quasimodo look alike. A guy with a good job and solid finances is a plus.

When they get to middle age and older they're more interested in companionship. A guy who is a good listener and is kind. Someone to get old with.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

Damon said:


> They love shoes. That's about all I know about women. Buy them lots of shoes.


Actually pretty good advice - although obviously a massive generalisation. 

I bought my gf two pairs this afternoon and she almost wet herself.

(sorry - I just realised that doesn't sound too good)


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## scott83 (Aug 10, 2014)

Jason Keener said:


> scott83 said:
> 
> 
> > Firstly, let me just say I have no problem with guns, I have a few air rifles myself, granted they aren't "real" firearms but gun ownership is kinda trickier here in England.
> ...


That's another problem with gun ownership, if the public have guns then the police need bigger and better guns, it starts an arms race of sorts.

There were massive breakdowns of civil order not too long ago with the London riots that spread to other parts of the country such as Birmingham. But that was directed more at the police and government rather than the general public, lots of undesirables looting shopping centres and setting fire to things. Ironically the supposed spark for the riots was an incident involving an apparent gang member being shot dead by police, because they thought he had a gun.

It would be tempting to be able to shoot dead any scumbag that breaks into your home and threatens your family, but sadly the law here is stupid. Some farmer shot a gypsy lad that broke into his house at night,and he ended up in jail for murder.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

don said:


> Actually pretty good advice - although obviously a massive generalisation.
> 
> I bought my gf two pairs this afternoon and she almost wet herself.
> 
> (sorry - I just realised that doesn't sound too good)


Sounds pretty good


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## Damon (Oct 27, 2015)

don said:


> Actually pretty good advice - although obviously a massive generalisation.
> 
> I bought my gf two pairs this afternoon and she almost wet herself.
> 
> (sorry - I just realised that doesn't sound too good)


see!!?? I think it's best to just keep it simple. Oh, and the more expensive the show the more "excited" the get.(Generalizing of course):laugh:


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

Since this became about guns....women will date you even if you like guns, just be careful because if you get divorced those guns will be brought up at every single custody hearing and you better not **** up even once on storing them or safety precautions.


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

It's not a matter of guns really. But the simple fact is that some people will find it off putting and that is fine. Not everyone is into the gun culture. But, then again, plenty are. Those are the ones Karl should be "targeting" if you will forgive the pun.


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## HIGHfrombeingSHY (Mar 9, 2015)

The truth is, women don't know what they actually want. They want you to tell them. They want you to impress them, then all their imaginations of the perfect man are meaningless. You are the new perfect man now.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

It's obvious right? 

Women want 5 ft 3 short socially awkward runescape pking champs. 










Somewhere in a dimension far from here...


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## SunFlower2011 (Nov 30, 2011)

To be happy.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Threesome


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## Lelouch Lamperouge (May 13, 2013)

They want balls in their mouth. 

Meat plowing them 

and sweaty balls hitting the back of their thighs.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Lelouch Lamperouge said:


> They want balls in their mouth.
> 
> Meat plowing them
> 
> and sweaty balls hitting the back of their thighs.


Can confirm, some enjoy this.


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## sparkleindust (Nov 1, 2015)

it's not about the money at all. just be yourself. are you trying to attract all women? that might be your problem.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

This might sound kind of trite, or cliché, but I'm guessing it depends on the woman. I mean, I think in a lot of ways men and women both want the same things...in some ways we're really not all that different. And then sometimes I wonder what f-ing planet she's from.

It's not what I really want, but sometimes I think a purely sexual relationship is easier. I mean, I know it is. Come here you, get undressed and lick me and kiss me all over and gimme that dick and make me *** and then get the f out. Or, if she's at my place, then she get's the f out. Ya know? Is that not easier??

I wish that was all I wanted lmao. I want so, so much more than that though. I've had relationships before (one in the not-so-distant past) and it just left me wanting more. It just made me realize I want more, I want to mean more to her and I want her to mean more to me. Sex is really pretty easy if you think about it. Relationships are not.


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## Kill Will (Oct 28, 2015)

For the most part, women want men with confidence, social skills, and sex appeal. You can have an advanced education, large bank account, and material things, but your chances of being rejected still exist even with those things if the woman senses your lack of confidence, social skills, and sex appeal.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Lelouch Lamperouge said:


> They want balls in their mouth.
> 
> Meat plowing them
> 
> and sweaty balls hitting the back of their thighs.


Be right back, going to try and get my balls sweaty...


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## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

TenYears said:


> I wish that was all I wanted lmao. I want so, so much more than that though. I've had relationships before (one in the not-so-distant past) and it just left me wanting more. It just made me realize I want more, I want to mean more to her and I want her to mean more to me. Sex is really pretty easy if you think about it. Relationships are not.


This post made me think. So would you say that men with social anxiety like yourself may understand the importance of the companionship a woman offers more so than the average man would?


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## Damon (Oct 27, 2015)

DiscardYourFear said:


> This post made me think. So would you say that men with social anxiety like yourself may understand the importance of the companionship a woman offers more so than the average man would?


Yes, I believe so.


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## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

Damon said:


> Yes, I believe so.


Then I would say you men with social anxiety have something to offer a woman that the average man doesn't. Something that many, many women really want. Isn't that true?

I know that may not make approaching a woman any easier, but maybe it will help in some capacity. You are not losers (if that's what you think about yourself.) Good women, the right women, are going to appreciate the HELL out of you.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

DiscardYourFear said:


> This post made me think. So would you say that men with social anxiety like yourself may understand the importance of the companionship a woman offers more so than the average man would?


Hmm...Idk, maybe. I mean, maybe, yeah.

I've never gotten into ONS much. I've had a few, and while I wouldn't say I regretted them (I don't) I also can't say I would ever do it again. They were fueled by a lot of booze and partying and some drugs usually and I just...it's not what I was ever looking for, really, even when I thought that's what I was looking for.

I don't know if men with SA look for companionship or friendship more, or not. I do. I've had relationships before, lots of them, that started out or turned into nothing but sex and I want so much more than that. And it's not because I got older. That gets brought up a lot here. I'm looking for the same things in a woman now that I was looking for when I was in my twenties, it hasn't changed in the last twenty or thirty years or so. Guess I haven't found her, or, maybe I'm too dysfunctional and she keeps running away lmao. Idk.

I can't speak for other guys with SA but I haven't gotten into too many relationships where I wasn't friends with her first. I understand there is a whole "friendzone" mentality on this site with a lot of guys. But I've never understood why you wouldn't want to be with a girl that you wouldn't want to be friends with. I mean, think about it.


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## The Starry night (May 23, 2015)

A man who genuinely loves us, spanks us, cuddles up with us and buys us chocolates.


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

The Starry night said:


> A man who genuinely loves us,* spanks us,* cuddles up with us and buys us chocolates.


O_O


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## The Starry night (May 23, 2015)

:/


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

The Starry night said:


> A man who genuinely loves us, spanks us, cuddles up with us and buys us chocolates.




*much love*
*spank*
*cuddle*
*chocolates*


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## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

TenYears said:


> Hmm...Idk, maybe. I mean, maybe, yeah.
> 
> I've never gotten into ONS much. I've had a few, and while I wouldn't say I regretted them (I don't) I also can't say I would ever do it again. They were fueled by a lot of booze and partying and some drugs usually and I just...it's not what I was ever looking for, really, even when I thought that's what I was looking for.
> 
> ...


Would you say that you are looking for intimacy, rather than just sex? I know lots of people confuse intimacy with sex, and while sex is a part of it, they are not the same thing. When I think of the word intimacy, I say it and see it this way. "In to me see." Is that what you want? Someone who sees into the darkest, most fearful side of you and doesn't back away from that. Someone who validates who you are, no matter what thoughts or feelings you have that you find disturbing?


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## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

The Starry night said:


> A man who genuinely loves us, spanks us, cuddles up with us and buys us chocolates.


I can't say that I disagree with any of this.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

DiscardYourFear said:


> Would you say that you are looking for intimacy, rather than just sex? I know lots of people confuse intimacy with sex, and while sex is a part of it, they are not the same thing. When I think of the word intimacy, I say it and see it this way. "In to me see." Is that what you want? Someone who sees into the darkest, most fearful side of you and doesn't back away from that. Someone who validates who you are, no matter what thoughts or feelings you have that you find disturbing?


You know how to hit me right in the nuts, @*DiscardYourFear*

Yeah, that's what I'm looking for, I guess. Intimacy. A woman that doesn't judge. Someone who knows my weaknesses along with my strengths but still loves me all the same. It's not brain surgery. It's what anyone (guy or girl) wants. I mean, come on, it's what we all want, right?

I'm not sure where you're going with the "feelings you have that you find disturbing" bit, though. That's kind of a creepy thing to say, tbh.


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## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

TenYears said:


> You know how to hit me right in the nuts, @*DiscardYourFear*
> 
> Yeah, that's what I'm looking for, I guess. Intimacy. A woman that doesn't judge. Someone who knows my weaknesses along with my strengths but still loves me all the same. It's not brain surgery. It's what anyone (guy or girl) wants. I mean, come on, it's what we all want, right?
> 
> I'm not sure where you're going with the "feelings you have that you find disturbing" bit, though. That's kind of a creepy thing to say, tbh.


I apologize. I didn't mean to make you feel that way. We all have feelings that disturb us. That's why I said it. I didn't mean you specifically. And we only should share those feelings with those whom we truly trust.

My point was that what you are looking for is what most people are looking for, if they only would admit it to themselves. And you already get it, apparently. So you are ahead of a lot of people in getting what you really want out of a relationship.

I hope I didn't offend you. That wasn't my intention.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

DiscardYourFear said:


> I apologize. I didn't mean to make you feel that way. We all have feelings that disturb us. That's why I said it. I didn't mean you specifically. And we only should share those feelings with those whom we truly trust.
> 
> My point was that what you are looking for is what most people are looking for, if they only would admit it to themselves. And you already get it, apparently. So you are ahead of a lot of people in getting what you really want out of a relationship.
> 
> I hope I didn't offend you. That wasn't my intention.


No, no offense taken, I just wasn't sure where you were going with this. My fault. I appreciate your opinion, your thoughts though, I really do. A lot of the time I can't see the forest for the trees, you know, I'm too close to my own situation to really see it for what it is. So I appreciate anyone that gives me a second look at things. If I ever take offense to it, please just reel me in and remind me of what I just posted to you lol.

I'm my own worst enemy.


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## The Starry night (May 23, 2015)

TenYears said:


> *much love*
> *spank*
> *cuddle*
> *chocolates*


It's that's simple, lol.


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## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

TenYears said:


> I'm my own worst enemy.


I understand. So am I. lol


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## Damon (Oct 27, 2015)

DiscardYourFear said:


> Then I would say you men with social anxiety have something to offer a woman that the average man doesn't. Something that many, many women really want. Isn't that true?
> 
> I know that may not make approaching a woman any easier, but maybe it will help in some capacity. You are not losers (if that's what you think about yourself.) Good women, the right women, are going to appreciate the HELL out of you.


Personally, I've never had much of a problem with getting women to go out with me.(Off the charts sex drive and fake charm go a long way) My social anxiety is at its most severe in groups plus I have other bigger problems to deal with.

I do think from reading a lot of the posts on this site that guys on here are def . not at all like the guys(so called extroverted normal guys-i.e. lunatics) I use to hang out with. The guys on here are(generally speaking of course) more sensitive and appreciative of attention from women. They seem to have more feminine characteristics than the people ive been used to in the real world(just meaning the ones not online). I don't know if that made any sense but I do see a lot of differences and some of them seem for the better.


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## Xenacat (Oct 20, 2015)

The talking to Patty thing disturbs me. Are you letting her use you? If you are is not attractive and she probably can sense it. Most of the things you said you are are fine but the NRA member thing - not everyone is a fan of the NRA or guns. I know people who are members of the NRA and that definitely doesn't mean they are responsible people. Sounds like you are a big fan of the NRA which is fine that is your choice. Being humble is a really attractive quality


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## Orbiter (Jul 8, 2015)

Who gives a ****.
I know what I want and that is death. End of story.


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## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

Orbiter said:


> Who gives a ****.
> I know what I want and that is death. End of story.


Lol, preach.


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## Orbiter (Jul 8, 2015)

Aphotic Apathy said:


> Lol, preach.


Yeah, that's what I want in *life.*
I have found my passion, once and for all! lol


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## slowlyimproving (Jan 2, 2014)

Zadaliya said:


> I hear similar interests are nice this time of year.


Similar interests? What?! Woman, get back in the kitchen. lol


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## Euthymia (Jul 15, 2015)

Oh here we go again...


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

What do woman want? Not even women know what they want.


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## SamanthaStrange (Jan 13, 2015)

Ice cream.

And unconditional love.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

SamanthaStrange said:


> Ice cream.


Little Baby's Ice Cream? :laugh:


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## SamanthaStrange (Jan 13, 2015)

Kevin001 said:


> Little Baby's Ice Cream? :laugh:


Did I send you that? I sent it to so many people, I can't remember. I love those commercials so much, lmao.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

SamanthaStrange said:


> Did I send you that? I sent it to so many people, I can't remember. I love those commercials so much, lmao.


No, lol. I saw it on someone's profile. Probably someone you sent it to.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

Kevin001 said:


> No, lol. I saw it on someone's profile. Probably someone you sent it to.


I'm a victim. She sent that commercial to me, and another one, and now I have a new set of reasons to go to therapy. Thanks @*SamanthaStrange* 'preciate it


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

TenYears said:


> I'm a victim. She sent that commercial to me, and another one, and now I have a new set of reasons to go to therapy.


It is kinda creepy.


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## SamanthaStrange (Jan 13, 2015)

TenYears said:


> I'm a victim. She sent that commercial to me, and another one, and now I have a new set of reasons to go to therapy. Thanks @*SamanthaStrange* 'preciate it.


Hey man, you're lucky I didn't come boil your rabbit.

All women really want is to torment men, don't you know that?

Stop derailing this f***ing thread with your nonsense!


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

SamanthaStrange said:


> Hey man, you're lucky I didn't come boil your rabbit.
> 
> All women really want is to torment men, don't you know that?
> 
> Stop derailing this f***ing thread with your nonsense!


Hey now, back away from the bunny, and calm down lil' Missy. Nobody wants to get hurt, 'specially not the bunny.

How 'bout dem Cowboys?


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## BJam (May 6, 2014)

My advice would be: don't lead with the gun thing. Unless you're extremely passionate about it, in which case, you might want to look for women with an interest in guns. Gun control is a polarizing issue, and maybe best eased into after a couple dates...

Also, when someone claims to want honesty, that isn't "I'm-going-to-spill-my-guts-and-tell-you-every-single-intimate-detail-that's-ever-happened-in-my-entire-life-on-the-first-date" honesty. You generally want to put your best foot forward, while still being honest, and ease into those details as they come up naturally.

Also, in my experience with women, being incredibly intense and needy on the first date never goes over well. Better to be patient, and not _completely_ available at a moments notice.

But that's just my two cents.


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

Like it or not, it all comes down to *Money.*


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## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

They want to be pampered with all of that *money.*

Believe it or not.. Women like security.. And in this day and age.. Where does that come from? That's right!

You guessed it!!

Money.. Money.. Money.. Money. Mooooonnnneeeyyy.


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

Aphotic Apathy said:


> They want to be pampered with all of that *money.*
> 
> Believe it or not.. Women like security.. And in this day and age.. Where does that come from? That's right!
> 
> ...


Yeah money +1


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

M0rbid said:


> Like it or not, it all comes down to *Money.*


The OP has LOTS of money. So it's not only about money.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

It's unreasonable to expect a woman to date a guy who isn't financially secure, particularly after mid to late 20's. There's this silly belief though that woman only seek guys earning 100k+ or something though are that they are basically gold diggers when in reality, the vast majority would feel completely comfortable with a guy who simply earned enough to look after himself without having to beg his parents to cover his bills.


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