# I can't talk normally with guys



## forever_dreamer (Jul 8, 2008)

This is mostly with guys that I'm attracted to or I think might be interested in me, things always get sexual, especially when I don't know what else to talk about. I don't know why.


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## AnErin (Jan 18, 2011)

How old are the guys are are associating with?


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## forever_dreamer (Jul 8, 2008)

usually in their early to late twenties and sometimes thirties


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## PandaPop (May 21, 2010)

Surely you talk to them enough before getting sexually? or whats the situation you meet up with guys and just sex them? or date them for a while but when it comes to hanging out you just have nothing to talk about and end up being sexual?
Maybe you just havent felt that connection with someone yet where you can practically talk about everything and anything.


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## AnErin (Jan 18, 2011)

Guys in their early 20's have a main concern - to have sex.

Beyond that, it is true men want sex but should not be their main focus once they mature a little bit.

In either case, don't be bringing it up or teasing them with it. If you lay down with them too soon in a relationship, they will promptly move on to their next conquest.


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## joe11 (Jan 22, 2011)

AnErin said:


> Guys in their early 20's have but one concern - to have sex.
> 
> Beyond that, it is true men want sex but should not be their main focus once they mature a little bit.
> 
> In either case, don't be bringing it up or teasing them with it. If you lay down with them too soon in a relationship, they will promptly move on to their next conquest.


I am in my early 20's and yes I probably would like to have sex :b, but its not my main concern.

My main concern would be finding a girl that I could talk to and be myself with as I can't even talk to a girl let alone anything else.


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## bmwfan07 (Jun 3, 2007)

AnErin said:


> Guys in their early 20's have but one concern - to have sex.


That's a little cynical, don'tcha think? I know this is not true for me, and it's not true for most of my friends (of course, they're a self-selected bunch). Yes, sex is important and makes the world go 'round, but it's not the "only" concern.


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## AnErin (Jan 18, 2011)

there I fixed it


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## unreasonable man (Jan 22, 2011)

With all due respect I still don't think it's much of a fix. It is not a main concern for all men to have sex. No more than it is a main concern for any person regardless of their gender to have sex, as sex is a very normal part of the human condition for both genders. What you are saying is tacitly sexist. 

"In the past quarter century, we exposed biases against other races and called it racism, and we exposed biases against women and called it sexism. Biases against men we call humor."
—Warren Farrell

It's not that humorous anymore. Let's be progressive about this. 

To the OP, please explain whether you mean the guys you are seeing are making situations (in/appropriately) sexual, you are making the situations (in/appropriately) sexual, or it is somewhere in between.


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## rockyraccoon (Dec 13, 2010)

unreasonable man said:


> With all due respect I still don't think it's much of a fix. It is not a main concern for all men to have sex. No more than it is a main concern for any person regardless of their gender to have sex, as sex is a very normal part of the human condition for both genders. What you are saying is tacitly sexist.
> 
> "In the past quarter century, we exposed biases against other races and called it racism, and we exposed biases against women and called it sexism. Biases against men we call humor."
> -Warren Farrell
> ...


I agree with unreasonable man. I am a little unclear as to what you are asking. Are you saying that you are uncomfortable simply talking about sex as a subject with men, or is it the case that you are with men and there is the potential to have sex, and the thought of this future conversation about sex is what worries you. Because I for one am rather inexperienced sexually, so I get nervous talking about sex, regardless of who it is with, under any circumstance.


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## forever_dreamer (Jul 8, 2008)

unreasonable man said:


> With all due respect I still don't think it's much of a fix. It is not a main concern for all men to have sex. No more than it is a main concern for any person regardless of their gender to have sex, as sex is a very normal part of the human condition for both genders. What you are saying is tacitly sexist.
> 
> "In the past quarter century, we exposed biases against other races and called it racism, and we exposed biases against women and called it sexism. Biases against men we call humor."
> -Warren Farrell
> ...


I usually end up making the situations sexual when talking to guys online when I don't know what to talk about.


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## Arisa1536 (Dec 8, 2009)

joe11 said:


> I am in my early 20's and yes I probably would like to have sex :b, but its not my main concern.
> 
> My main concern would be finding a girl that I could talk to and be myself with as I can't even talk to a girl let alone anything else.


Good post and mainly because, i agree not that i am a guy lol but i found the older the guy, the more sexually orientated they were and it actually put me off them. My first boyfriend was a good ten years older than me and he freaked me out because all he thought about and talked about was sex, nothing else mattered so yeah i hated it and guys i have talked to in general who are over a certain age (26/27) have just talked about wanting sex so i tend to ignore them which might be rude but i do not know how else to go about it really without telling them to get lost, i know my sisters have no problem telling guys like that to **** off but i cant so i just ignore them. Not all guys are like this mind u, i have worked with some guys my age who are the opposite and have girlfriends and are usually in long term relationships, one of the reasons being they dont rant on about sex all the time, perhaps there is a time and a place for it?


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## MaxSchreck (Nov 1, 2010)

Like everything else it really depends on the person, it has really nothing to do with age.. Alright some people might mature in their 30s but it really depends. Sex in general for me is only something i want to do with a girl i got real feelings for, even if it's just for one night (if she feels the same way). If the connection (feelings) isnt there, i dont even bother. For plain and simple hornyness when i dont have a girlfriend i would rather jerk off, than bull**** some girl and spend money on her just to get sex. If Sexual expierience is all your'e after, the best way is to get that with a real girl you like. Nothing like that connection.

Back to topic, i like Panda Pop said: 
"Maybe you just havent felt that connection with someone yet where you can practically talk about everything and anything."


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## forever_dreamer (Jul 8, 2008)

MaxSchreck said:


> Back to topic, i like Panda Pop said:
> "Maybe you just havent felt that connection with someone yet where you can practically talk about everything and anything."


Yeah I guess lol


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## bmwfan07 (Jun 3, 2007)

Arisa1536 said:


> Good post and mainly because, i agree not that i am a guy lol but i found the older the guy, the more sexually orientated they were and it actually put me off them. My first boyfriend was a good ten years older than me and he freaked me out because all he thought about and talked about was sex, nothing else mattered so yeah i hated it and guys i have talked to in general who are over a certain age (26/27) have just talked about wanting sex so i tend to ignore them which might be rude but i do not know how else to go about it really without telling them to get lost, i know my sisters have no problem telling guys like that to **** off but i cant so i just ignore them. Not all guys are like this mind u, i have worked with some guys my age who are the opposite and have girlfriends and are usually in long term relationships, one of the reasons being they dont rant on about sex all the time, perhaps there is a time and a place for it?


The reason you experienced this phenomenon with older guys is probably because if they're interested in someone 10 years younger (particularly at such a relatively young age), they're likely the type to often (not always, before anyone gets their panties in a bunch) be in it mainly for the sex. The pseudo-generational gap in that age difference and the fact that many older guys perceive younger girls to be easily manipulable, naive, and highly sexual lend themselves intrinsically to a self-selected, and somewhat unsavory, bunch of people.


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## Tessabelle (Jan 29, 2011)

guys.. sigh... i can never behave normally around guys... i just get all flushed and stuff unless i'm perfectly comfortable..


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## bmwfan07 (Jun 3, 2007)

Tessabelle said:


> guys.. sigh... i can never behave normally around guys... i just get all flushed and stuff unless i'm perfectly comfortable..


It's okay; they're probably just as nervous around you, even if they don't always show it.

Adolescence is definitely the most awkward time for opposite-sex (or same-sex, if that's your thing) interactions. Too many hormones, too much self-discovery/questioning, and not enough outlets.


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## Tessabelle (Jan 29, 2011)

bmwfan07 said:


> It's okay; they're probably just as nervous around you, even if they don't always show it.
> 
> Adolescence is definitely the most awkward time for opposite-sex (or same-sex, if that's your thing) interactions. Too many hormones, too much self-discovery/questioning, and not enough outlets.


and it's worse cause i can't even behave normally around girls sigh


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## Annoyed (Nov 22, 2009)

forever_dreamer said:


> This is mostly with guys that I'm attracted to or I think might be interested in me, things always get sexual, especially when I don't know what else to talk about. I don't know why.


Because you know, that the subject will be of interest to the guy, perhaps an automatic behavior to avoid rejection.

Also it's possible that you may do this in order to have control (at least at a subconscious level) and avoid achieving a deeper connection fearing emotional hurt.

Or maybe you just like it and that's fine too, it is their problem if they just want to judge you based on that alone.


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## bmwfan07 (Jun 3, 2007)

Annoyed said:


> Because you know, that the subject will be of interest to the guy, perhaps an automatic behavior to avoid rejection.
> 
> Also it's possible that you may do this in order to have control (at least at a subconscious level) and avoid achieving a deeper connection fearing emotional hurt.
> 
> Or maybe you just like it and that's fine too, it is their problem if they just want to judge you based on that alone.


I believe it's all of the above, in the OP's case. Good analysis.


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## wtbwow (Jan 29, 2011)

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## MelysCariad (Jan 26, 2011)

My problem is not so much the talking. I get along well with guys when I want to be, and things are usually fine. But I must give off some weird 'independent- leave me alone- vibe because things never work. 

It's the matter of finding someone you're comfortable with and don't feel the need to push anything to make a conversation flow.


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## bmwfan07 (Jun 3, 2007)

wtbwow said:


> What is your delivery mode of cheap gold wow for sale?
> After your order is confirmed, we will deliver WoW Gold to you through face to face. Our delivery person will find you in the game and whisper you to give you the gold
> wow characters for sale cheap. Please stay in the game for a while after the order confirmation process. If you're busy at the moment , please inform us at the first time. We will make a rain check for you. Please don't give your eu wow gold to anyone after the transaction is done, they might try to scam you.


The only wow here is that WoW, you're an idiot.


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## bmwfan07 (Jun 3, 2007)

MelysCariad said:


> My problem is not so much the talking. I get along well with guys when I want to be, and things are usually fine. But I must give off some weird 'independent- leave me alone- vibe because things never work.
> 
> It's the matter of finding someone you're comfortable with and don't feel the need to push anything to make a conversation flow.


If you don't want to give off the "leave me alone" vibe, then strike up conversation yourself. It's considered socially acceptable these days.


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## forever_dreamer (Jul 8, 2008)

Annoyed said:


> Because you know, that the subject will be of interest to the guy, perhaps an automatic behavior to avoid rejection.
> 
> Also it's possible that you may do this in order to have control (at least at a subconscious level) and avoid achieving a deeper connection fearing emotional hurt.
> 
> Or maybe you just like it and that's fine too, it is their problem if they just want to judge you based on that alone.


I think it's all the above. This is pretty accurate for me.


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