# Should I give up on making friends?



## AEgirl (May 11, 2013)

I’ve been at my university since Fall 2013. I haven’t had much luck making friends. I seriously have only one person I can call a “friend” there. But I don’t exactly enjoying spending time with her. She just isn’t the kind of person I enjoy associating with. Honestly she’s super annoying. I know that sounds mean but its true. I know beggars cant be choosers, which is why I’m friends with her I guess. But overall I am thankful for her. Without her I wouldn’t have anyone to eat meals with and hangout with.

Anyways, I’m just tired of trying to make friends. Nothing works. Whenever I talk to someone in class we always just remain acquaintances. The only people who seem to take interest are guys who want to date. Right after I tell them I have a boyfriend they’re no longer interested in having not even a friendship. Which I don’t mind. Since I would rather have female friends since I can relate to them more obviously. 

Overall I’m just tired. I think I’ve given up hope.


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## meandernorth (Nov 12, 2014)

Are there clubs or activities on campus that you can join? Maybe volunteer or join a service organization? Some people make friends through a sorority. (If you don't like sororities, no problem. Just an idea.) Perhaps a part-time job? 

I wouldn't give up hope. Sometimes friendships happen naturally and on their own timetable. Just keep a positive attitude and remain approachable. That keeps the door open to meet people.


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## AEgirl (May 11, 2013)

There are clubs. But I'd rather not join any since I want to focus on my school work. I did join a club my first semester but I really didn't enjoy it. Plus I go to a small private university so there isn't a lot of clubs to choose from. My boyfriend does keep me busy a lot. But at the end of the day its kinda sad knowing I don't even have one real friend.


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## Floating on Lilies (Oct 17, 2014)

AEgirl said:


> I've been at my university since Fall 2013. I haven't had much luck making friends. I seriously have only one person I can call a "friend" there. But I don't exactly enjoying spending time with her. She just isn't the kind of person I enjoy associating with. Honestly she's super annoying. I know that sounds mean but its true. I know beggars cant be choosers, which is why I'm friends with her I guess. But overall I am thankful for her. Without her I wouldn't have anyone to eat meals with and hangout with.
> 
> Anyways, I'm just tired of trying to make friends. Nothing works. Whenever I talk to someone in class we always just remain acquaintances. The only people who seem to take interest are guys who want to date. Right after I tell them I have a boyfriend they're no longer interested in having not even a friendship. Which I don't mind. Since I would rather have female friends since I can relate to them more obviously.
> 
> Overall I'm just tired. I think I've given up hope.


Hello, I am dealing with the same issues here. I could never maintain a friendship with anybody in class or at work. I am in my final year at uni and still haven't made any friends. Though I did made ONE friend during the first year of uni but after the semester was over, she stopped contacting me. She really cared for me, well I thought. I feel like no one appreciates me or values me. It saddens me because I feel like this is my last and final chance to make real friends. After uni this year I am done, off to the real working world. I've join couple clubs at school but still no luck. I always feel like it's probably the way I look. I don't know, I feel like I've given up hope as well.


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## AEgirl (May 11, 2013)

I know what you mean ^^ I don't want to graduate friendless either. I actually enjoy spending a good amount of time alone. But when I'm not with my boyfriend I don't have anyone else. My family lives 4.5 hours away. If I'm not with my boyfriend I'm just alone in my dorm. 
Spring semester starts on Monday. Hopefully I can change things. But you know, I say that all the time :/


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## Sun Burst (Dec 8, 2013)

I dont want to sound rude or anything but you got a friend in university and also a boyfriend, I got neither relationship nor friends in uni or outside uni and you are talking about giving up on making friends.

I am 3th semester in and most people ignore me and I dont talk to anybody. I just commute hour and a half there and back everyday, sitting in front rows during lectures so I learn something and then go back home. Im pretty sure if I graduate I will be friendless and relationshipless with worthless paper anyway. Also you said your uni have clubs..my uni doesnt have any except for religious ones and Im not religious.


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## Sun Burst (Dec 8, 2013)

Also you attitude towards your friend. Are you that kind of person that will dump others when its convenient for them?


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## Ricebunnyx3 (Sep 1, 2010)

I'm in a club... I've been in this club for 2 years... and the only reason why I kept going was because both years there was at least someone I felt like I could kind of talk to and we were kind of friends... but I couldn't click with anyone else in the club. So when that person wasn't there, it was extremely awkward!!! Sometimes people would try to talk to me, but I wasn't entertaining enough (basically, I'm boring) so they eventually give up, and so I just sit there browsing the web or playing a game on my phone (because sometimes the actually club activities take a while to start). 

I've also done lots of volunteer work through my school and made absolutely no friends and not even really acquaintances through that. 

It's my 4th year of college, but I'm spending it studying abroad, and here I have one friend (but she's leaving soon so I'll soon be friendless again) and back at home, I had really nice roommates - they called me their friend (but we were definitely more like acquaintances). When I go back to take my last semester at college, I feel like this will be the loneliest... it'll be so sad, because my entire college career I had basically 1 or no friends.
I'm losing weight, and I feel like I'll gain more confidence when I'm skinny. Maybe that's stupid - but in my head I feel like I'll be super outgoing when I'm thin, and have a **** ton of friends.


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## Ricebunnyx3 (Sep 1, 2010)

Sun Burst said:


> I dont want to sound rude or anything but you got a friend in university and also a boyfriend, I got neither relationship nor friends in uni or outside uni and you are talking about giving up on making friends.
> 
> I am 3th semester in and most people ignore me and I dont talk to anybody. I just commute hour and a half there and back everyday, sitting in front rows during lectures so I learn something and then go back home. Im pretty sure if I graduate I will be friendless and relationshipless with worthless paper anyway. Also you said your uni have clubs..my uni doesnt have any except for religious ones and Im not religious.


You sound so bitter...
Everyone's different... and has different circumstances
I've never had a boyfriend, but I'm not mad that this girl does...
she still has the right to want friends
also, you're a commuter... it's always harder to make friends when you're a commuter and then add SA on top of that
You chose to go to a religious school w/o clubs and commute
why is that OP's fault?



Sun Burst said:


> Also you attitude towards your friend. Are you that kind of person that will dump others when its convenient for them?


Also, OP, you have the right to not like someone's presence. 
I was friends with a girl who mad fun of me. I was friends with an annoying girl who lied alll the ****ing time.
You have a right to be her friend and you have a right to admit that she annoys you. And you are still thankful for her being your friend. You also have the right to stop being someone's friend if they make you unhappy, aren't helping you grow, etc. there's a plethora of reasons...


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## AEgirl (May 11, 2013)

Sun Burst said:


> Also you attitude towards your friend. Are you that kind of person that will dump others when its convenient for them?


Yes, my attitude towards my friend is negative. Not because I am stuck up or unappreciative, but because she is very rude and inconsiderate. Many times I have caught her being mean to her own roommate. Her roommate and I told her to stop and all she had to say was, "I like to speak my mind. If someone else doesn't like it I don't care." Does that sound like a real friend to you?? Even my parents met her and didn't like her. My boyfriend has even told me any times that I should find a better friend than her.

And FYI even if I do make other friends I would not single her out because I know how it is to be lonely. Being lonely isn't fun. Me and you both know that.


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## AEgirl (May 11, 2013)

Ricebunnyx3 said:


> I'm in a club... I've been in this club for 2 years... and the only reason why I kept going was because both years there was at least someone I felt like I could kind of talk to and we were kind of friends... but I couldn't click with anyone else in the club. So when that person wasn't there, it was extremely awkward!!! Sometimes people would try to talk to me, but I wasn't entertaining enough (basically, I'm boring) so they eventually give up, and so I just sit there browsing the web or playing a game on my phone (because sometimes the actually club activities take a while to start).
> 
> I've also done lots of volunteer work through my school and made absolutely no friends and not even really acquaintances through that.
> 
> ...


I'm sorry to hear about your struggle! Losing weight will help your confidence a little bit. But don't expect it to change everything. I lost weight also but it didn't really improve my social life. It helped my confidence a little. Which is good. But don't think your weight is to blame. It's your heart and personality that counts. I'm sure you look great already 

Since classes start soon I guess I will try my best to make friends again. When some people talk to me I also feel uninteresting! So I know what you mean.


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## Ricebunnyx3 (Sep 1, 2010)

AEgirl said:


> I'm sorry to hear about your struggle! Losing weight will help your confidence a little bit. But don't expect it to change everything. I lost weight also but it didn't really improve my social life. It helped my confidence a little. Which is good. But don't think your weight is to blame. It's your heart and personality that counts. I'm sure you look great already
> 
> Since classes start soon I guess I will try my best to make friends again. When some people talk to me I also feel uninteresting! So I know what you mean.


Yeah, people say that a lot. That losing weight won't change much. But in my fantasies of being outgoing and popular I'm always thin in them, so I guess I kind of associated it with not having social anxiety.

And you're probably back at school (school starts a bit later here so I'm still on break) and I hope you are having some luck. I think part of my issue is that I give up so easily. If I talk to someone and they seem bored of me or I feel like I ****ed up the entire conversation, I won't try to talk to them (or anyone) and will actually try to avoid them. But sometimes (most of the time) I can just tell I'm soooooo ****ing boring... and they probably don't want to talk to me ever again either (but here I go being negative again).

Anyway I hope you can make/are making some friends


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