# Problem with therapist not understanding my introversion



## lavendersky (Jun 13, 2011)

Hello forum.  I was wondering if you guys could help me out with something.

I have SAD and have been going to therapy for about 2 months now. Just started some CBT exposures. I am a performer, so I've always had issues with performing because of my anxiety. However, I've been reading more about introversion, and now I think a big reason I feel uncomfortable when performing is because I simply don't like to be loud in front of other people, due to my quiet nature. Maybe I get anxiety more because I know I'm not showing my true self when I'm up there being loud and showing emotions--I know it's actually kind of fake and not my real personality, so I get anxiety because I'm not being true to myself. Does that make sense? Anyway, I tried to explain this to my therapist, but she seemed to not believe me, and said "doesn't this uncomfortable feeling happen to lots of performers?" 

I'm trying to see if I need to change my career because I'm figuring out that maybe I don't need to be in front of people all the time, but she seems to not understand introversion and only thinks my discomfort is due to the SAD. 

That was last time. Today, I brought this up again, because she was just making me talk and I started crying because I felt overwhelmed just having to fill up so many minutes talking, which doesn't come naturally to me. I said I think it's because I don't like to talk about myself and I like to write things down (because of my introversion, not the anxiety--I didn't say that, though) and she just doesn't seem to get it. 

What should I do?


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## hoddesdon (Jul 28, 2011)

Find yourself another therapist who is a better fit with you?


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## beagleman (May 27, 2011)

hello lavendersky, depending on your level of distress and how you are coping you should ask questions about what you want from the sessions. When I first went to see a psychologist I was unable to stop crying and needed medication for stabilization. Medication is only a support, you then have to look at ways to face your fears to move on. You sound like you are comfortable in a lot of situations but need help with performing in front of an audience. I am no good at this but to help me cope in a grpoup situation i try and focus on 1 or 2 people and this helps. When I confront a large group it feels like your getting judged by the whole group, this is my fear and I no it is wrong, most people dont judge you. Anyway good luck, keep trying and I no you will improve if you stick at it. Another easy thing to do is telling jokes to a group, this will help your confidence.


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## obsidianavenger (Sep 1, 2011)

don't take this the wrong way, but it kind of sounds to me like you are using introversion as an excuse to not deal with your anxiety. introverts can be performers, they just need more alone time to recharge afterwards. its fine if you think that performing is too much of a stress for you because it makes you anxious, but its not fine if you lie to yourself and label it as "introversion" instead... anxiety is anxiety. introversion may make you more prone to it, but it doesn't make it something you can never overcome. you probably are introverted, but i think what your therapist is getting at is that this doesn't mean that you can't do extroverted things, and that it doesn't mean that you have to give up. i think she is just trying to encourage you to stick with it rather than deciding that its impossible.


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