# I feel like I'm a burden to everyone



## Amortentia (May 16, 2015)

Lately I have been feeling really down. I feel like I am a terrible friend and basically worthless. I try really hard to be the kind of person my friends want me to be, especially my boyfriend, but even though I am trying so hard it never seems to be enough for them. It's so hard putting in so much effort and having them not see it. I can feel them getting frustrated with me. I try explaining to them that I am pushing myself and they say it's fine but I know they don't really think that.

I just feel like such a crap friend because I can never live up to their expectations. It just feels like I'm never going to be normal, like I'm just constantly disappointing everyone around me (myself most of all). I know its not fair on myself to have such high expectations but I feel like I'm under a lot of pressure from everyone and I am letting them down.

I would really appreciate some advice if anyone has been through something similar


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## Jadon1984 (Jul 7, 2015)

I've been through the same situation. My ex wanted me to try hard to find a job. I tried really hard, despite my anxiety. Applied for over 100 jobs in 4 months. Got out of my comfort zone so many times, and feigned confidence at job interviews. I couldn't land one job. My ex was frustrated and felt I wasn't trying hard enough. She broke up with me because of that.

Furthermore, during my desperate job search, I naively fell for a "secret shopper" scam online. I lost $3400, which came out of my father's pocket. So I AM actually a burden on my family if I'm causing them to lose money.

My family, and the culture my family grew up in, doesn't recognize or understand social anxiety.

You need to find and talk to people who actually understand Social Anxiety Disorder. They'll support you and encourage you, but not be too pushy and expectant because they know the limitations of this illness.

The people on this forum will be glad to chat with you and share experiences and advice. You should also try to find a therapist to talk to, if you're willing and able.

Don't worry too much about what your family and friends think. If you yourself know how much effort you put, you should be proud of yourself for trying.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Amortentia said:


> I can feel them getting frustrated with me. I try explaining to them that I am pushing myself and they say it's fine but I know they don't really think that.
> 
> I just feel like such a crap friend because I can never live up to their expectations.


If they're truly frustrated, it may be at your own frustration and exasperation when you believe they're disappointed in you.

If you haven't asked their expectations, you can't know if you're failing to meet them.

If you're constantly agonizing over your friendship performance around them and dismissing their acceptance, that could get tiring. Yes.


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