# have not made any friends at colelge.



## rctriplefresh5 (Aug 24, 2009)

*have not made any friends at college.*

whats up everybody, i guess i have social anxiety. i stay in pretty much all the time on the computer, dont go out to much. dont really have friends, never had a girlfriend either. i am just pretty self conscious of my appearance. i haven't really had girls ever like me, and this affects me going out much and trying to make friends.
heres a picture of me, do i look weird or unusual enough for this to be the reason i dont have much of a social life? well scratch that i dont have any social life. my social life is the computer.
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/ind...ndID=64806312&albumID=763567&imageID=53462586

i was thinking of joining the honors society since i have a 4.0 gpa but idks.


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## rctriplefresh5 (Aug 24, 2009)

bump 38 views and no replies?
i must be uglier than i thought haha =).


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## wombat666 (Aug 23, 2009)

I know this is cheesy, but looks really don't matter all that much. It's all about attitude. I remember I got really bad acne at the start of 12th grade, but didn't make a big deal out of it. I was still able to make a couple new friendships, something that is hard for me with or without acne (damm SA!).


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## Envision (Jul 30, 2009)

rctriplefresh5 said:


> whats up everybody, i guess i have social anxiety. i stay in pretty much all the time on the computer, dont go out to much. dont really have friends, never had a girlfriend either. i am just pretty self conscious of my appearance. i haven't really had girls ever like me, and this affects me going out much and trying to make friends.
> heres a picture of me, do i look weird or unusual enough for this to be the reason i dont have much of a social life? well scratch that i dont have any social life. my social life is the computer.
> http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/ind...ndID=64806312&albumID=763567&imageID=53462586
> 
> i was thinking of joining the honors society since i have a 4.0 gpa but idks.


I looked at your picture and your looks are above average. Jay Leno would spend several million dollars to have a jaw like yours. I would guess you have an athletic body. Don't beat yourself up at all about your looks.

Self-confidence is one thing that attracts people. And from reading your post, you're very down on yourself. For no reason.

For the time being, concentrate on your studies. Polish a few social skills and I'm sure your social life will be improving.


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## rctriplefresh5 (Aug 24, 2009)

Envision said:


> I looked at your picture and your looks are above average. Jay Leno would spend several million dollars to have a jaw like yours. I would guess you have an athletic body. Don't beat yourself up at all about your looks.
> 
> Self-confidence is one thing that attracts people. And from reading your post, you're very down on yourself. For no reason.
> 
> For the time being, concentrate on your studies. Polish a few social skills and I'm sure your social life will be improving.


hahaha are you serious? i dont think jay leno would pay a dime for my looks his looks have gotten him pretty far in his life!!

i guess its my SA that has not gotten me looks from girls or a social life. i really do want a girlfriend,friends,....a life lol.
but the again i think a big factor in my high GPA is that i have no distractions. however what good is a 4,.0 gpa if youre not seriously happy

btw i thought this thread would be more popular did oi post this in the wrong section or something. i saw a similar thread from someone else on page 2 and it was loaded with replies.


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## utopian_grrl (Jun 26, 2008)

maybe the people who would normally respond to this thread have already started school and are busy? Who knows. Don't worry about it...

but yeah, your looks are fine. You aren't weird or unusual. And honestly, I agree with other people, it's not necessarily about looks. There are many people who are overweight, and not as attractive who have friends and boy/girlfriends. 

I personally think it's harder for guys to find girlfriends, but harder for girls to find just regular friends. It seems like a common bond that a lot of guys share is hanging out playing sports, video games or other activities that don't necessarily involve as much talking as girls are prone to do. So if you are athletic, you can try joining club sports teams on campus?...or maybe see if there are any Xbox tournaments happening around campus.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

I haven't made any friends either, but I haven't really been trying.


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## rctriplefresh5 (Aug 24, 2009)

utopian_grrl said:


> maybe the people who would normally respond to this thread have already started school and are busy? Who knows. Don't worry about it...
> 
> but yeah, your looks are fine. You aren't weird or unusual. And honestly, I agree with other people, it's not necessarily about looks. There are many people who are overweight, and not as attractive who have friends and boy/girlfriends.
> 
> I personally think it's harder for guys to find girlfriends, but harder for girls to find just regular friends. It seems like a common bond that a lot of guys share is hanging out playing sports, video games or other activities that don't necessarily involve as much talking as girls are prone to do. So if you are athletic, you can try joining club sports teams on campus?...or maybe see if there are any Xbox tournaments happening around campus.


haha do i like a video game nerd =p. i suck at xbox. i wish my school had a weightlifting team though i used to have a good time lifting with the guys on the football team. i guess if my looks arent the problem its my SA i guess i just got to go out there and ask a girl out (shivers).:um


shyvr6 said:


> I haven't made any friends either, but I haven't really been trying.


i guess i haven't really been trying much either. dont really know how. i talk to people but it doesn't escalate into a friendship!!


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## lyssado707 (Oct 29, 2004)

You look fine. You could probably make friends if you tried, but i understand SA is hard.


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## kenny87 (Feb 22, 2009)

I don't have any either, and from what I can see I don't really want any from here, I don't see anyone I would want to be around, everyone is to "normal".


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## Judi (Jun 22, 2009)

I think you need a different haircut... I don't think that one really suits you, no offense!


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## Envision (Jul 30, 2009)

rctriplefresh5 said:


> hahaha are you serious? i dont think jay leno would pay a dime for my looks his looks have gotten him pretty far in his life!!
> 
> i guess its my SA that has not gotten me looks from girls or a social life. i really do want a girlfriend,friends,....a life lol.
> but the again i think a big factor in my high GPA is that i have no distractions. however what good is a 4,.0 gpa if youre not seriously happy
> ...


You never know what the reponse will be to a post. The subject matter here on this forum is varied. Maybe people get tired of talking about SA a lot? Maybe that's why there's a post about how tall you are. You're nationality, etc. Things like that.


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## rctriplefresh5 (Aug 24, 2009)

Envision said:


> You never know what the reponse will be to a post. The subject matter here on this forum is varied. Maybe people get tired of talking about SA a lot? Maybe that's why there's a post about how tall you are. You're nationality, etc. Things like that.


i know you and a lot of others were asking how athletic i was i made this video for you guys lol.


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## meowgirl (Aug 24, 2009)

tvgirl48 said:


> If I talk to other students I realize very quickly how I am nothing like them at all. They talk about their drinking exploits or their social outings, their parties, they worry about things I never worry about and enjoy things I don't enjoy. They're attached to their cell phones. They plan things for their Friday nights. They hate doing nothing, hate being alone, complain endlessly about homework and classes yet never seem to fail them despite skipping classes sometimes.
> 
> I haven't made any friends either for this reason.


:ditto


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## delirium (Jun 24, 2009)

tvgirl48 said:


> If I talk to other students I realize very quickly how I am nothing like them at all. They talk about their drinking exploits or their social outings, their parties, they worry about things I never worry about and enjoy things I don't enjoy. They're attached to their cell phones. They plan things for their Friday nights. They hate doing nothing, hate being alone, complain endlessly about homework and classes yet never seem to fail them despite skipping classes sometimes.
> 
> I haven't made any friends either for this reason.


Your post rang through my head as I was out earlier at a nightclub. It's weird. We have SA and that makes it difficult for us to socialize, but then even when we muster up the courage to socialize we find that we have little in common with many of the people we encounter. It's like, let's say you're over SA... now the whole process of making friends you really click with is a long one.


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## Envision (Jul 30, 2009)

rctriplefresh5 said:


> i know you and a lot of others were asking how athletic i was i made this video for you guys lol.


"Guys?" What is that supposed to imply?

I made an effort to go out of my way and bolster your self-esteem, and then you come back with a remark like this.


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## rctriplefresh5 (Aug 24, 2009)

Envision said:


> "Guys?" What is that supposed to imply?
> 
> I made an effort to go out of my way and bolster your self-esteem, and then you come back with a remark like this.


what? i wasnt implying you are gay or anything???
i seriously did not mean that as an insult.
sorry if it sounded that ways.


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## Snow Bunny (Jan 28, 2009)

tvgirl48 said:


> If I talk to other students I realize very quickly how I am nothing like them at all. They talk about their drinking exploits or their social outings, their parties, they worry about things I never worry about and enjoy things I don't enjoy. They're attached to their cell phones. They plan things for their Friday nights. They hate doing nothing, hate being alone, complain endlessly about homework and classes yet never seem to fail them despite skipping classes sometimes.
> 
> I haven't made any friends either for this reason.


Me too!
I've been at college one years and have no real friends. I'm actually glad to see I'm not alone.

But yeah dude it certainly ain't the way you look.


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## rctriplefresh5 (Aug 24, 2009)

Snow Bunny said:


> Me too!
> I've been at college one years and have no real friends. I'm actually glad to see I'm not alone.
> 
> But yeah dude it certainly ain't the way you look.


well im sorry to hear you havent made any friends either.
i was never to popular in highschool either so iwasnt expecting much.:blank

i got asked to join the international honor society for my school though, so hopefully theres some cool friends to be made there and some smart girls for me to talk tos/


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

I'm in the same boat, but I don't really care. College isn't for making friends.


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## letitrock (Jan 10, 2009)

You're not alone, I've been in college for about 3 years and have not one friend.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

I'm not gonna try to make friends, just gonna go to class and leave.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

Peter Attis said:


> I'm in the same boat, but I don't really care. College isn't for making friends.


that's what I was thinking too...you go to get the education you need, not really to make friends. at least that's the only reason I'm going... because I want to be a mortician.


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## Tragito (Jul 24, 2009)

tvgirl48 said:


> If I talk to other students I realize very quickly how I am nothing like them at all. They talk about their drinking exploits or their social outings, their parties, they worry about things I never worry about and enjoy things I don't enjoy. They're attached to their cell phones. They plan things for their Friday nights. They hate doing nothing, hate being alone, complain endlessly about homework and classes yet never seem to fail them despite skipping classes sometimes.
> 
> I haven't made any friends either for this reason.


Same here. Every sentence you wrote fits me.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Shauna The Dead said:


> that's what I was thinking too...you go to get the education you need, not really to make friends. at least that's the only reason I'm going... because I want to be a mortician.


Wow - that's what my grandfather was. That is actually a very time-consuming profession - I know that.

I still think some social interaction is important. It keeps us connected. 
Even though my problem was that my "friends" would dump me without reason, I would still try to make friends :lol.


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## milo001 (Nov 26, 2008)

i guess i can said that i did make some "friends" in class but i don't think they're a true friends.i get tease and bullied most of the time.


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## rctriplefresh5 (Aug 24, 2009)

well i had chem lecture today and bio lab today. a kid i used to be friendly with in bio 101 during the summer was in both of my classes. i came 20 minutes late to chem class(had to walk in when everyone was there) traffic was HORRIBLE. SO IM sure he sawe me walk in. he did not say hi to me at all. during lab he said hi to me and asked how i was but he wanted some of my answers so you never know. i told him i switched into his chem LAB, class and his math class and he said thats awesome. so idk what to make of him.

i did talk to a premed major(same major im switching to) and we hit it off. i hit it off with some other guys in the class as well. this girl and i both stayed after class to ask the lab teacher questions and she seemed very friendly towards me. she and i were talking to the lab teacher for like an hour after everyone else had left. and i made jokes and made her laugh etc. she left the classroom 2 minutes before me and ithought hey i might as well sprint out and talk to her. but she picked up her cell phone when i came out. idk if it was because of me or not because she was at the end of the hall and i was about 30 feet behind her. but i eventually caught up with her and she was on the phone so idk.
i am tempted to make a bold move and sit next to heer in lab lecture tomorrow night. but i think thatd be kind of odd.


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## Setolac (Jul 26, 2009)

rctriplefresh5 said:


> whats up everybody, i guess i have social anxiety. i stay in pretty much all the time on the computer, dont go out to much. dont really have friends, never had a girlfriend either. i am just pretty self conscious of my appearance. i haven't really had girls ever like me, and this affects me going out much and trying to make friends.
> heres a picture of me, do i look weird or unusual enough for this to be the reason i dont have much of a social life? well scratch that i dont have any social life. my social life is the computer.
> http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/ind...ndID=64806312&albumID=763567&imageID=53462586
> 
> i was thinking of joining the honors society since i have a 4.0 gpa but idks.


WTF? Are you BSing me man. 
I saw your videos in youtube(no ****) and how the heck would a guy like you not have any girlfriend or friends?

I just noticed that we have similar interests (im into weightlifting too, we have almost identical height, and many people think im smart cause I frequently have high marks). Its a shame that social anxiety keeps us from getting what we want like girls (If what you have just said is really true)


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## rctriplefresh5 (Aug 24, 2009)

Setolac said:


> WTF? Are you BSing me man.
> I saw your videos in youtube(no ****) and how the heck would a guy like you not have any girlfriend or friends?
> 
> I just noticed that we have similar interests (im into weightlifting too, we have almost identical height, and many people think im smart cause I frequently have high marks). Its a shame that social anxiety keeps us from getting what we want like girls (If what you have just said is really true)


yeah in reality im not very smart even though i get high marks. its just that i have nothing else going for me right now so id feel like such a failure if i didnt do well in school. however the new semester just started and im getting worried about my courses. i was never strong in math and im taking trig this semester and i forgot all of my algebra during todays lecture. however that happens to me every semester and i pull through somehow(probably due to so much free time and caring so much about school). but trig isnt even supposed to be hard for someone in college.
.but yeah dude im not a troll or trying to make anybody on myspace or youtube look bad. if youd like you can send me an email on both of the accounts and i can reply to prove its me. or i can make a video with a sign but thats stupid haha. but yeah im really tempted to sit nexxt to that girl in bio.


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## Setolac (Jul 26, 2009)

rctriplefresh5 said:


> yeah in reality im not very smart even though i get high marks. its just that i have nothing else going for me right now so id feel like such a failure if i didnt do well in school. however the new semester just started and im getting worried about my courses. i was never strong in math and im taking trig this semester and i forgot all of my algebra during todays lecture. however that happens to me every semester and i pull through somehow(probably due to so much free time and caring so much about school). but trig isnt even supposed to be hard for someone in college.
> .but yeah dude im not a troll or trying to make anybody on myspace or youtube look bad. if youd like you can send me an email on both of the accounts and i can reply to prove its me. or i can make a video with a sign but thats stupid haha. but yeah im really tempted to sit nexxt to that girl in bio.


 Its a good thing you haven't lost your motivation to do well in school. Do people sometimes think that you are nerdy since you use your free time to study alot? Here in my college, people think that you should be out partying and drinking during your free time and that you shouldn't be studying alot. Heck! A lot of people here think that having high marks isn't really important in the future instead its your "Interpersonal skills" that matter. Well this has lowered down my motivation to do good in school.

OT:
Do you have your own workout plan and do you have an ectomorphic body before you started working out? I just noticed that we both have the same body type (well built torso + chicken legs) Maybe you can share a few tips cause im tired of my own working plan and progress seems slow.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

This is my second semester at college, and so far I've made 0 friends. I know what you mean, I'm scared of going up to people and asking them if I can sit with them.


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## hellopiggy (Sep 15, 2009)

ive been at college for 2 years. i have zero friends..well acquaintances but im looking for friends i could be close with. =( but i know its impossible. i just now want to get my degree and get out of there. but i feel like my social probs are just going to get worst....cus ive spent those years depending on my bf in loneliness. i don''t click w/anyone. i have one friend i consider a best friend whos studying abroad soon but she lives like an hour or two away.. anyways im transferring to a university sooooooon so i kind of give up. although i did join some clubs . . its not what i thought it would be though . a disappointment.


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## Jinnix (Jul 6, 2006)

I don't understand the formula for how one goes about making friends. In my year at college I have talked with people a few times, even had lengthy conversations by my standards, but I never know how to transition from small talk to friendship. I'm probably just not likable enough.


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## hellopiggy (Sep 15, 2009)

yeah i understand exactly how you feel. i feel like i could only make a close friend if that close friend wanted to be bestfrens w/me or felt the same way bout me! or if she was in teh same circumstances as me. and i want a female bestfriend most of all. i find it easier to speak to guys in college courses ... anyways it seems like the acquaintances i made,its all for class-purposes soo yeah.....maybe we'll make friends when we graduate and hopefuly get a job.!?! too long. 

my bestfriend was also in the same condition as me but she made friends...but none of them turned out to be close friends of hers really. well one of them turned out to be her boyfriend. anyways she invited them out. i guess all you gotta do is have the small talk ...and then one day invite them somewhere. for instance, if you're having a bbq coming up, you could ask them if they want to come. it seems awkward. like asking them out on a date. lol. esp. if the person you ask has a large group of friends atm.


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## bobthebuilder (Jun 17, 2009)

im in my 2nd week of college, only part time, but still i havent even so much as talked to another student beyond basic things like excuse me. just dont really care i guess.


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## sharks88 (Sep 11, 2009)

Same here. I commute, so I just spend the day either watching tv, eating or in the library. Doesn't really bother me anymore


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## JMX (Feb 26, 2008)

For me, it seems a lot harder to make friends in college than it is in high school. Maybe it's because of the difference in the class sizes. I had a few friends here in there during college, but they turned out to be *******s who ignored/ditched me whenever they wanted to. I'm in my 5th year, and I have no friends, but at least I'll be out of this living hell in 2 semesters.


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## heyJude (Aug 1, 2009)

I've been in college for three years, and have not made a single friend. I've spoken to people in class a few times, but none of them have ever gone beyond that. There was this girl in my Govt. class who I sat next to, had things in common with, and spoke with every class, but then she withdrew from the class all of a sudden before I really got to know her. 

Ah well.


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## rctriplefresh5 (Aug 24, 2009)

i have ,made ''friends'' in chemistry however it just stays in chemistry. like this girl, myself, and this guy Steve were doing our lab and joking the whole class, and even talking for a half hour before class at a table. (they incited me to sit down you know) but after the lab was over she darted out the door with a daint goodbye(i said it first) steve said bye though.

but my point is people are friends with me in school. and then its nothing once the semester ends. a kid from my first semester a year ago used to stay after class and talk to me for hours, at the end of the semester i said hey man whats your aim screen name. he said i dont have one then iml like seriously? and hes like oj here it is. well hes never logged in for a year so im pretty sure it sa fakes ha.


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## randomguy (Sep 19, 2009)

Yeah I know what you mean. I guess that's the difference between acquaintances and friends. Anyway I just registered to say you look fine. First impression is that you're pretty well built and maybe a bit of a geek (not a bad thing imho). If I picture you talking confidently to someone, you wouldn't look out of place in any kind of social situation. Your appearance is not a limiting factor and probably not something you need to worry about at all.

Good luck

22 y/o with no friends after 4 years of college


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## Shonen_Yo (Sep 8, 2006)

Not a friend in sight. Just a pity "hello" from people that think I'm probably going to shoot up the place if they're not nice to me.


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## rctriplefresh5 (Aug 24, 2009)

Setolac said:


> Its a good thing you haven't lost your motivation to do well in school. Do people sometimes think that you are nerdy since you use your free time to study alot? Here in my college, people think that you should be out partying and drinking during your free time and that you shouldn't be studying alot. Heck! A lot of people here think that having high marks isn't really important in the future instead its your "Interpersonal skills" that matter. Well this has lowered down my motivation to do good in school.
> 
> OT:
> Do you have your own workout plan and do you have an ectomorphic body before you started working out? I just noticed that we both have the same body type (well built torso + chicken legs) Maybe you can share a few tips cause im tired of my own working plan and progress seems slow.


yeah man im a pure ectomorph il lsend you tips if youd like. send me a pm if youd like. but im sad to say this this semester i have lost any motivation i have had. im still doing well though, but that wont last for long, since i do zero homework, and dont study for test and quizzes.,


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## Hai (Oct 14, 2009)

tvgirl48 said:


> If I talk to other students I realize very quickly how I am nothing like them at all. They talk about their drinking exploits or their social outings, their parties, they worry about things I never worry about and enjoy things I don't enjoy. They're attached to their cell phones. They plan things for their Friday nights. They hate doing nothing, hate being alone, complain endlessly about homework and classes yet never seem to fail them despite skipping classes sometimes.
> 
> I haven't made any friends either for this reason.


I have the same problem. Even though it's incomprehensible to them, I genuinely have no interest in that kind of socialising. The only social interaction I'm interested in is that which is somewhat meaningful or more personal.

The reason I'm on this site is to find people that I can actually relate to. People unlike those you describe in your post. Maybe then I can have a decent conversation!

Jinnix:
"I don't understand the formula for how one goes about making friends. In my year at college I have talked with people a few times, even had lengthy conversations by my standards, but I never know how to transition from small talk to friendship."
Yeah, I'm out of touch like this too. I really don't understand how people make that transition.

Shonen_Yo:
"Not a friend in sight. Just a pity "hello" from people that think I'm probably going to shoot up the place if they're not nice to me."
LOL so true...

It's no fun living in a world where most people determine their own value by their relationships with other people. Especially when we've been conditioned to do the same.


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## april showers (Jun 27, 2009)

rctriplefresh5 said:


> i have ,made ''friends'' in chemistry however it just stays in chemistry. like this girl, myself, and this guy Steve were doing our lab and joking the whole class, and even talking for a half hour before class at a table. (they incited me to sit down you know) but after the lab was over she darted out the door with a daint goodbye(i said it first) steve said bye though.
> 
> but my point is people are friends with me in school. and then its nothing once the semester ends. a kid from my first semester a year ago used to stay after class and talk to me for hours, at the end of the semester i said hey man whats your aim screen name. he said i dont have one then iml like seriously? and hes like oj here it is. well hes never logged in for a year so im pretty sure it sa fakes ha.


Thats alot like my situation. There's people for me to talk to for a while in class, but that's where it ends... in class. We don't talk outside of class and I usually never see them agian once the semester's over. Thus I'm stuck with alot of aquaitinces but no friends.


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## rctriplefresh5 (Aug 24, 2009)

april showers said:


> Thats alot like my situation. There's people for me to talk to for a while in class, but that's where it ends... in class. We don't talk outside of class and I usually never see them agian once the semester's over. Thus I'm stuck with alot of aquaitinces but no friends.


well i guess ishould make my situation a little more clear. i also hang out with around 6 people from my biology class to study before class. thats around twice a week,its on a wlakin basis. we joke around and study etc.

as for chemistry, i just created a study group. its me and 3 girls from my class that i regularly converse withs.
both of these groups are done on school grounds in the science building.

but other than that, ill hear the girls say ill text you later to say hi. noone texts me, or talks to me outside of school, which blows. and also the girls are so nice to me, and flirty but they have boyfriends..well 2/3 do. this kid from my bio study group told me that he could picture me dating a girl from my chem group when he saw me talking to her. although this kid is gay so idk...

he later said he thought she was ugly but he said before id be good for her..so whats that saying about me ahah. although i think shes pretty damn cute!! way out of my league.

btw its my bday today. 20!


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## toffee (Oct 5, 2009)

i can tell you now that you are nowhere near ugly!! confidence, which i lack, is THE key.... i always sit at the back of class in silence, while everyone talks and holds discussions, and i pray that no one talks to me ..... i know how you feel.


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## rockst4r (May 4, 2009)

rctriplefresh5 said:


> well i guess ishould make my situation a little more clear. I also hang out with around 6 people from my biology class to study before class. Thats around twice a week,its on a wlakin basis. We joke around and study etc.
> 
> As for chemistry, i just created a study group. Its me and 3 girls from my class that i regularly converse withs.
> Both of these groups are done on school grounds in the science building.
> ...


happy birthday:d


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## rctriplefresh5 (Aug 24, 2009)

rockst4r said:


> happy birthday:d


Thanks!


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## rctriplefresh5 (Aug 24, 2009)

rctriplefresh5 said:


> well i guess ishould make my situation a little more clear. i also hang out with around 6 people from my biology class to study before class. thats around twice a week,its on a wlakin basis. we joke around and study etc.
> 
> as for chemistry, i just created a study group. its me and 3 girls from my class that i regularly converse withs.
> both of these groups are done on school grounds in the science building.
> ...


well one of the girls asked me for my phone number today, and she gave me hers . she has a boyfriend though , although shes flirty with me...but once agai nthat gay kid said she was not flirty... i know itd be rude to steal her from her bf if she did like me (far chance) but, im sure he can get another gf easier than i can ive never had one.

either way still happy she gave it to me. and shes making em brownies on thursday


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