# Psychologist told me I seem perfectly normal?



## Serenwyn (Nov 15, 2012)

I recently saw a psychologist for the first time, after living with SA and selective since starting school. (I'm now 19)

After an hours' question and answer thing so he could get to know me (in which I epically failed to explain the extent of my anxiety and ended up crying because I was so nervous I couldn't get any words out), he announced that he saw no problem with me and I seemed perfectly normal, but I could meet with him a few more times if I felt I needed a talk etc. :sus

Has anybody else ever been told they seem normal? How can I explain my anxiety in a way that will enable him to grasp the severity?


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## Serenwyn (Nov 15, 2012)

selective mutism* (sorry I don't know if there's a way to edit my OP)


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## shnbwmn (Jul 13, 2012)

Before you go think of examples of where your anxiety messed up something or which shows how it held you back from doing something important. Write them down so you can think of all the necessary points and keep those points in your head next time you go. You'll be much clearer and more confident if you know your stuff.


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## Blueshine (Oct 26, 2012)

I hate how they think they know everything about you after one session. Even my doctor insisted seeing me more to evaluate me than a psychiatrist did. A lot of the questions they ask are yes/no questions and there are many shades of gray and there are many reasons to why one answers yes or no.


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## YellowLittleDucky (Mar 22, 2011)

I think I have been told I was normal about certain things, even though I knew I wasn't. 
Hmm... the best thing, I found to do, is to say something like... "I think it feels different in this session than when I am outside of the session." 

I think there are some questions to answer, and maybe discuss it with the psychologist / psychiatrist. 
-where / when are most selectively mute?
-ask them why they think you appear to be non-problematic 
-Do you have documents that support how you feel about yourself? Like having questionaires done or official assessments by psychiatrists?
Or if you don't, can you request to get one done?
-Do you have parents or friends or other people you know that can write things they observe about you that you can send the counsellor?


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## karunaji (Oct 17, 2012)

I suggest looking for another psychiatrist. Let another specialist confirm if you indeed don't have a case of SAD.

Don't be afraid to disagree with this first assessment. Overdiagnosis is not a problem. On the contrary, majority of people with SAD are not getting any help because they are undiagnosed. It is very sad because it is relatively treatable condition.

The good news is that people with SAD are normal in a sense that physically their brains are perfectly fine and functioning normally in contrast to some other mental disorders, like epilepsy or schizophrenia.


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## Peas and Nuts (Nov 22, 2012)

Serenwyn said:


> I recently saw a psychologist for the first time, after living with SA and selective since starting school. (I'm now 19)
> 
> After an hours' question and answer thing so he could get to know me (in which I epically failed to explain the extent of my anxiety and ended up crying because I was so nervous I couldn't get any words out), he announced that he saw no problem with me and I seemed perfectly normal, but I could meet with him a few more times if I felt I needed a talk etc. :sus
> 
> Has anybody else ever been told they seem normal? How can I explain my anxiety in a way that will enable him to grasp the severity?


Yes - many many times. There have been doctors who've refused to even consider diagnosing me. Others laughed at the suggestion that something's wrong with me. Even after months of evaluation, and years gone by. I haven't got a diagnosis other than depression. Some even said 'mild depression'. The thing about Psychologists, if you think about it, is that they are exposed to other patients. Patients who have distorted views of reality, or are mostly unaware of their own surroundings. A lot of things pass as normal next to that.

I agree with karunaji, try to find someone who specializes in SA, selective mutism, or other personality disorders. Good luck to you.


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## Ricebunnyx3 (Sep 1, 2010)

Peas and Nuts said:


> Yes - many many times. There have been doctors who've refused to even consider diagnosing me. Others laughed at the suggestion that something's wrong with me. Even after months of evaluation, and years gone by. I haven't got a diagnosis other than depression. Some even said 'mild depression'. The thing about Psychologists, if you think about it, is that they are exposed to other patients. Patients who have distorted views of reality, or are mostly unaware of their own surroundings. A lot of things pass as normal next to that.
> 
> I agree with karunaji, try to find someone who specializes in SA, selective mutism, or other personality disorders. Good luck to you.


I'm afraid of that... going to a psychiatrist and being told I'm normal. I obviously know I'm not or else I would've never came to see you.


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## Peas and Nuts (Nov 22, 2012)

Ricebunnyx3 said:


> I'm afraid of that... going to a psychiatrist and being told I'm normal. I obviously know I'm not or else I would've never came to see you.


I'm sorry, guess what I said wasn't exactly comforting or what you need to hear right now. But really don't take a no for an answer. Insist, get second, third, fourth opinions if you have to. Ask them not to trivalize you or your troubles, if you feel that's what they're doing. If they do say there's nothing wrong, how about asking why they think you came to them? (try acting curious instead of confrontational, or it might get them on the defensive - defensive ppl do not like to change their mind) Or; 'if they believe you delusional for believing something is wrong, then why aren't they considering a diagnosis for that? or anything else that would be the cause of your anxiety? Questions like that. And then speak frankly; how long its been going on, how it's escalating, how you don't know how to work through it. Ask what they think you can do.

I know this isn't altogether easy when distressed and vulnerable, but it it might be worth a shot.


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## Serenwyn (Nov 15, 2012)

Thanks for the replies. I went to see him again and tried to explain better but somehow I still didn't really manage to get across the severity of it. However he at least acknowledged that I do have a problem, which is a start. Since he isn't charging me for it, I'm going to keep seeing him and see how things go.


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## exrovite (Feb 5, 2011)

It can be an extremely difficult task to get into another persons mindset. Since all a psychologist relies on is your body language and your spoken word, whatever you tell him/her and how you behave whilst in front of him/her often determines the conclusions they reach. 

If a psychologist is not very experienced, some anxiety ques that you might show may be exhibited as confidence which migh fool the psychologist into thinking that there is no problem.

Some individuals cope with anxiety by putting on a "confidence mask."

Other's tend to ecome very friendly as a way of masking the anxiety.

Unfortunately, if these coping techniques go with them into the appointment room when they are seeing a therapist, they can easily mask that the problem.

I am not suggesting that this is your difficulty, but just to give one example of the complexity that is involved.

So to help your therapist unto the right path, may I suggest the following.

No1. Think "What, when and where."

E.g

What is the problem, 

where does the problem tend to exhibit itself ( e.g at home or at the pub/club)

When does it happen the most (e.g. mormning, evening etc)

Write your answers down (highly important) and take it in with you.

Hope this helps you on to the right path.


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## Reclus (Jan 11, 2012)

OP - isn't being told you're not nuts a good thing? :yes

I think you have found a good practitioner here - one who is not content to instantly prescribe pills and label you with a condition.

By all means, go back for further support. It sounds like this psychologist has some perspective and would be prepared to explore your issues further without labelling you.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Yes, I had a therapist tell me I seemed like a normal good looking guy and that I must certainly have a girlfriend. She was a total idiot that didn't have a clue what she was talking about. Needless to say i don't see a therapist anymore. I now have a psychiatrist who is pretty much a my drug dealer and I couldn't be happier. He will script me Klonopin over the phone without me even having to meet him. He just asks me a few basic questions that he is required to ask and then calls in the prescription.


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## Chilantree (Nov 14, 2012)

you are perfectly normal.


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## dawn marie (Nov 29, 2012)

I think it's somewhat of a good thing that your psychologist didn't just instantly diagnose you. However, he more than likely doesn't understand exactly what your experiences with SA have been like. And I agree that compared to his other patients, you must seem pretty normal. 

I saw a counselor for a few months, she said I was shy, and had milder anxiety and depression.


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## Chukopin (Oct 24, 2013)

(old thread, I know)

Had my second appointment with a school psychologist today. I am going there not because I want to have social contacts outside of people I meet just by circumstance.

The psychologist told me that only 1 out of 100 people you meet will become a true friend, not just for socially awkward people. If people have loads of friends, most of these relationships are likely just out of necessity, decency or friendlyness. Same goes for a lot of other fears we have.

The only difference for most of us is that we act much more on them, and let our fear decide what actions we will do and won't do, instead of just fearing our actions.

This probably isn't like this for all of you, but just take that 'normal' people don't differ that much from socially anxious people.


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## Openyoureyes (Jun 13, 2012)

This is mostly based on psychologist's opinions based on you and how you present yourself. First judgements are always most likely wrong. Only you know yourself, if you went to one in the first place obviously you know something's up.


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## Caterpillar13 (Nov 10, 2013)

What do u want out of it? Meds? Or talk? Even if he says yeah u have anxiety he will likely just act the same way when u go to see him...


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