# Anyone else lose a great work opportunity to anxiety?



## Kisyai (Nov 20, 2013)

I am at my wits end guys. I joined here to see if anyone can relate to my situation. I have had a long history of becoming so anxious about work, i drive there...can't get out of the car, or i no call no show. I plan an everything going ok then something happens i panic and convince myself its better to just not go then deal with the people there. I am a dog groomer for about two years and i haven been at about five different shops trying to fit in and i feels like high school all over. I always feel depressed,worthless, and more anxious at the end of it all. Recently, i had the chance to work with a really great groomer, but her and her whole group seemed very judgmental,immature, and clickish. IS THERE ANY HOPE FOR ME? I am thirty and this pattern of avoidance has been with me since college. I don't have insurance and cant afford meds, but i occasionally get the take xanex from my mother, she has some anxiety also. How do i break this pattern?!! can anyone relate?:help


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## bibio32 (Jun 17, 2013)

i did but it was in school not work. im in my school's media program and i had the opportunity to volunteer to work on a video with two other people that i find pretty cool in my class..but this other guy (who i consider to be a tool but that's just me) raises his hand first.
and i had a lot of time. i was just sort of sitting there and no one was raising their hand and as I was about to raise mine he rose his (and he sits in front of me and hes really tall)..
i got pretty mad after that but mainly at myself to be honest.

with that very unimportant and stupid story said i can sort of relate to what you are saying. I've had situations like the one you described but different of course. All I can say is weigh the cost of MOVING UP vs the cost of AVOIDANCE..
good luck..


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I've definitely lost a lot of experiences due to anxiety.


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## timidoamigo (May 1, 2013)

Not just 'work' opportunities, but opportunities in general. As much as I try to deny or beat it, this anxiety has me by the balls. I don't think I'll ever be happy.


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## JamesM2 (Aug 29, 2012)

I've lost out on a lot of opportunities in all areas of my life thanks to the crap going on in my head.


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## gabbypanda (Nov 23, 2013)

lost two great work opportunity
lose countless opportunity of making great friends because I'm so ****ing anxious


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## Brisby (Nov 17, 2013)

When I was younger there were two jobs that I quit after one week because I was so anxious about them.

I also missed out socially when I was younger. I remember there was a girl in my class who would always compliment me and seemed to really want to be my friend. I started to actively avoid her because I was too scared.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

More lack of social skills. I was being considered for one job a couple months ago. The first interviewer liked me. Then I had the 2nd interview with another person, the one who liked my resume.....she didn't like me in person...so nope. And when I asked if they had interviewed anyone else, they said no. So even with no competition.... :no


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## tooafraid (Nov 22, 2013)

My SA prevents me from even getting these opportunities. I'm so afraid of doing interviews and group activities and being constantly judged that I never even made a half-decent effort in applying for a proper job.


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## pretendr (Nov 29, 2013)

I'm doing that right now...don't know why - doesn't make any sense. But the same thing happened yesterday, so I don't know how to handle having to deal with that on top of it. I wish I could offer advice, and the best thing I can think of is to just say **** it and walk inside. That worked once. But seeing as how I'm replying to this post instead - all I can do is tell you that you're not alone in this, and it's nice (?) to know I'm not the only one...

What specifically makes you hesitate? For me, it's not the job itself - if I could just be inside all the sudden working I'd be just fine with that, and go about business as usual. So it's something having to do with going from my car to the actual routine of the job. I don't want onto have to explain why I'm late and didn't show up yesterday.

Also, I have a roommate that would be like "wtf?" If I came back home - it's not like people aren't shopping tonight and the store closed. Sitting in my car for 6 hours is so silly, and logically I definitely know that. Yet here I am...wasting gas (it's cold out), time, and money (I'd be making some + what I'm wasting by sitting here + my commute) but I just...can't...do it.

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


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## Nightwing85 (Dec 6, 2013)

Can relate very much. I just quit a job after one day because of my anxiety. I have found that in order to work a person suffering from SAD needs structure of some kind. I was working a retail job of four years up until a month and a half ago that I was getting a little fed up with (worn ked under four managers in four years) every day I was filled with anxiety but I had managed to somehow cope (although some days were horrible and I would call in sick) and looking forward to possibly getting a promotion even though the idea of it was driving my anxiety crazy. I was passed over on this promotion to a co-worker that worked under me and was younger than me because my district manager did not like me. At this time I was contacted by an old acquaintance that he might have a job for me. The job payed more than my current job with benefits and everything. The problem was that the job was at a call center and the commute was a half hour away. I swallowed my fear (or rather threw it all up out of my stomach) and went to some interviews and finally I was granted the job. I put in my two weeks notice at the retail job I was working but the manager said that he would keep me in the system for another two weeks in case the job was not what was presented to me and I wanted to come back. When I started my first day I threw up multiple times in the morning, and practically blew out my sphincter because of the diarrhea and when I got to my new job it was one of the most miserable days of my life. I literally did nothing all day, no one knew what to do with me, no one told me my time was tracked, no one told me when I could leave or what I would do for lunch or anything. The woman who I interviewed with and would have been in charge of my training and also hired me it turns out left the company and no one told me that before hand. I spent all day fighting panic attacks and then I was told that I would have to travel almost four hours away out of state to do some training that no one ever told me about either. When I finally left all I could do was dread the next day. After getting no sleep that night and being incapacitated by anxiety I sent an e-mail and quit because I simply could not do it. To make matters worse when I went to my old manager to take him up on his offer of my returning to work he said that my district manager (who didn't like me) had found my replacement and essentially told me that he (the manager) had never said that. If it wasn't for my anxiety though I would have never quit that job after only one day. So I can very much sympathize. I hate being this way and having such severe anxiety.


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## Paloma55 (Dec 12, 2013)

I've quit many volunteer groups, social outlets, classes etc b/c of my unpredictable moods, but I very rarely miss work. I like a steady paycheck and I have learned to show up even when I'm not feeling my best. To me it's my number one priority and everything and everyone else is secondary. I know it is my number one key to independence, which I fiercely cling to -- even when I feel unwell (mentally).

What helps me is knowing that repetition and just showing up everyday can lead to a comfort zone. I find change very hard so I don't want to quit and change jobs. I've been in my job less than 2 years and I had panic attacks up till a month ago at work. I laughed when I got my annual review recently & was described as "calm." I'm finally on the right meds so now I really am calm.


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## BeachGaBulldog (Feb 13, 2007)

My work history is a joke. I have quit lots of jobs, and been fired from a few. I get sick of the boss, the people, etc.
I have always had a problem with authority figures.


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## ksinev (Dec 14, 2013)

I actually lost a job due to avoidance behaviors due to anxiety. If I don't watch myself I can avoid people to the point where I'm in my office alone most of the time. That doesn't work well in my job. It gets you a bad rep because people take it personally instead of realizing that constantly being around other people and dealing with demanding, judgmental and negative, stressed out people wears me down.


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