# so.. i asked out my co-worker.



## Keyblade (Apr 21, 2013)

f


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## KimThanh (Jul 27, 2014)

Good on you for trying! And good luck. Workplace relationships are tricky.

A coworker tried to start a thing with me when we were in the same patroling team, because we had similar tastes and interests - or so it seemed in the beginning. He was a really handsome guy, always well dressed and somewhat of a lady's man... After he figured that I was really defensive and not all that easy to talk to, he became really aggressive and provoked me all the time. His conversations revolved essentially about sex, kinks, and other insulting things like women's rights from his Islamic point of view (he's a convert). Aaaaanyway, I'm not talking to him anymore, and I hate his guts.


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## Keyblade (Apr 21, 2013)

f


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## bluenotebooks (May 25, 2009)

Congrats man. Asking a woman out is a big step.


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

Congrats, OP, on getting the courage to ask her out.

Even if this doesn't work out then you already know you can do it so you can ask out other girls in the future.


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## Keyblade (Apr 21, 2013)

f


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## Richard Pawgins (Jul 11, 2013)

we're congratulating people for getting turned down now?


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## ShatteredGlass (Oct 12, 2012)

Well done man! That's a great triumph! ^_^


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## Keyblade (Apr 21, 2013)

f


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## Recovering Recluse (Aug 3, 2014)

Richard Pawgins said:


> we're congratulating people for getting turned down now?


 Yes! We control our actions. Right actions merit praise. We do not control the result when other people are involved. When asking out a random person, you have to remember even a 20% success rate is good!


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## Recovering Recluse (Aug 3, 2014)

I'd suggest two places for improvement. (1) Ask in person--it's more impressive and likely to be accepted; (2) Suggest a specific movie and weekend--it makes the rejection easier for both parties. E.g., "Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to see Guardians of the Galaxy next weekend." "Oh, sorry, I'm going to the beach with my family that weekend."


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## AntiAnxiety (Jan 8, 2011)

Thextera said:


> First time in my life that i asked someone out.
> 
> I told her i had a lot of fun if she was working at the same time as me (as we have a lot of shared interests and similar personality. She even told me we were very alike yesterday)
> 
> ...


Congratulations, man. Huge step.

But, "every free day in the summer is already booked"? She's bull****ting you. Don't take it personal though. She's probably following the rule I was about to tell you about if I hadn't seen that. You shouldn't try to date anyone you have to see on a regular basis. It can make things very awkward if you don't have good control conversation-wise.


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## Keyblade (Apr 21, 2013)

f


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## AntiAnxiety (Jan 8, 2011)

Thextera said:


> yeah i know, it's probably bull****, but yeah, it was just the fact that she told me we were very alike and she laughed with dumb jokes that day too, so, that's the reason i asked her


Yeah, don't take it personal at all though. If you didn't work with her, I think things would be quite different.


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## wh33lzman (Aug 5, 2014)

Richard Pawgins said:


> we're congratulating people for getting turned down now?


Ignore this, at least you asked right? Its great to see that your condition doesn't control you. Maybe, as has been said, ask in person next time, but I like the initiative, good luck in the future.


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## Keyblade (Apr 21, 2013)

f


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## BackToThePast (Aug 31, 2012)

Even more impressive is your positive reaction to her answer. It's not really a yes or no, but a maybe. I admire your courage!


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## Chatise19 (Dec 31, 2011)

It would be hard to ask a random person out, hence why most couples probably meet from work or school.But anyways, congrats for taking initiative. Now its time to take that courage and ask someone else out before it runs away on you


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## max87 (Aug 7, 2010)

Great! I have yet to find someone to actually ask out. Living 24/7 behind 4 walls isn't helping, hopefully that should change soon. You said you asked her out on facebook... wasn't that a bit odd? most people do it face to face, if you have anxiety it is understandable tho.


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## wmu'14 (Sep 17, 2010)

You've already done way, way, way more then me in doing so. Keep it up and you will go far.

But unfortunately, and I really shouldn't say this, it's probably a no.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Good job!


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## Juschill (Jul 25, 2014)

great going ! hopefully it works out. this is a great step!


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## bornofbrosiris (Aug 4, 2014)

I also have a crush on someone at work, but decided to admire from afar instead. sounds like it might not happen, but at least you were brave and took that initial step, and at least she was nice to let you down. maybe she will change her mind over time and give you a chance


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## AntiAnxiety (Jan 8, 2011)

ils25r said:


> To be honest, it was a rejection. And she tried to she say she "high value" by saying every free day in the summer was taken, yeah right.
> 
> Other than that. Your asking was respectable. Maybe of course in person would have been better. But you could have said it like maybe let's do something this summer first. Then later set a time. etc.
> 
> I mean it does suck. I've seen a player at work who already had a hot gf, having another hotter coworker calling him even when he was on vacation with his gf. This guy was a real player. around 30, and his gf was 21. We shy guys are so beyond /behind the curve.


That's really not impressive at all, to be honest. By being 9 years older, he has that much more experience.


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## AntiAnxiety (Jan 8, 2011)

Thextera said:


> To me, it always seems like the best time is around your 30's, a lot of early 20 year old girls seem to fall for older men like, close to their 30's. I hear it so often... Maybe it'll be better for most of us in that time too!


I believe there are a couple of reasons for that. Older dudes tend to have more money + status. Also, by that age, your game should be tight enough to pull more experienced girls. I've seen plenty of people several years older than us who act more immature than us though. Sad, really.

My "best time" will always be "right now"


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## The Exodus (Jul 31, 2014)

It might sound a bit ridiculous, but if I managed to do that, I'd honestly feel like I'd hit an all time high in my life. It really seems like managing something like this is the very top of the mountain. Good job.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

Well then you will see where it goes from there. Congratulation on taking a risk. What you did is seems like a huge risk for many people. I would never ask someone out even though I may end up liking that person. I would still never ask someone out.


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## The Exodus (Jul 31, 2014)

Thextera said:


> Thanks man . Wouldn't you have an easier time to do that if the girl said to you that you and her were alot alike and that she was laughing with dumb jokes?
> 
> That's basically the reason why i went for it, i probably wouldn't be able to try anytime soon


I certainly would. Unfortunately, I don't know many girls like that, so I guess you got pretty lucky here. In any case, I hope it all goes well.


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## lifestandsstillhere (Jul 17, 2013)

Way to go!  Remember, the more people you ask, the more likely someone is to say yes.  And the worst possible outcome is the girl saying no, right? Keep taking risks!


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## ByStorm (Oct 22, 2013)

Good one, OP. You faced your fears (maybe not face to face but it's something) and you embraced the probable rejection like a champ. You're now ahead of many on SAS. 

I too would like to ask someone out but the tricky thing is not only finding someone I find attractive but finding someone I don't see regularly. So no one from work or school for me.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

Richard Pawgins said:


> we're congratulating people for getting turned down now?


Nah, we're just congratulating peeps for their courage is all I suppose.


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## AntiAnxiety (Jan 8, 2011)

Also, in his defense, doesn't really make a difference whether he was turned down or not. That's not in his control. He found the strength to put himself out there to begin with, and that's what matters.


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