# A girl complimented me and then blocked me



## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

A couple of weeks ago I exchanged some messages with a girl on okcupid. Now, okcupid has a feature that shows if the other person is interested in you or not. It shows it in two ways: one is if you actually click on their profile it shows a star if they are interested; and the other is that even if you don't click, and simply look at the chat history, the star would flow over her photo. Now, at first, the star was flowing over her photo, but then it was no longer flowing, which suggests she "unclicked" the interest. But, on the other hand, when I was opening her profile I was still seeing that she was interested in me. So do you think if she unclicks the interest then that star inside the prifile remains, or do you think she never unclicked the interest and it is simply the star in the history thing malfunctioned? I mean there is one other profile in the history that star still flows over, but not hers; yet when I open her profile I still saw the star.

In any case, two weeks ago we talked mostly about us both being scientists (me in physics and she is in medicine/biology from what I gather). I admitted not to know anything about her field and asked her some questions about what she does; she also told me that she is interested in physics as well. Then we didn't talk for two weeks -- which goes back to what I said above regarding her possibly unclicking the interest.

Then, two days ago, I sent her a message asking her if I said something that turned her off, and she said she was busy and asked me how have I been. Now I have mixed feelings with regards to whehter she was genuily busy or turned off. On the one hand, she was online all the time, which suggests that she wasn't that busy. But, on the other hand, she asked me how I was; if she was truly turned off she would have said she was busy and leave it at that, without asking me how I was. Plus, maybe she just left the computer open without actually being online? But then again she could have just asked how I was to be polite. In any case, I gave situation a benefit of the doubt and answered it.

We then talked a little about what we were doing, I told her I was visitting my mom, she told me she was visitting her sister, she asked me where my mom lives, I asked her where her sister lives, etc.

Then the next day she asked me what was my religion. Note that it was her who asked me, not the other way around, so you can't really say the very first question pushed her off. At the same time, it is also true that I was quite eager to talk about religion in response to that question, so perhaps my eagerness to talk about it as opposed to simply answering and changing the subject is what turned her off? But then again, it doesn't seem that way, because she seemed to be quite excited that I am a scientist who believes in God, which she finds pretty rare, and she falls into that category too.

Now, I don't have a chat log because she blocked me, but let me give you the paraphrase of that conversation about religion (note that I am only including the one I had yesterday and skipping everything until then; so its not like we started with religion -- like I said we talked about her work and her visitting her sister prior to that):

HER: What religion are you?
ME: I am Messianic. That means I was born Jewish, but I decided to believe in Jesus later in life, but I still follow Jewish practices as well. 
HER: I never talked to Messianic before! Its so cool you are scientist and believe in God its so rare. 
ME: I used to think that, as a scientist, the only logical view is atheism. But then I realized that I can present a perfectly logical argument both in favor of existence and non-existence of God, and Pascal's vagor encourages me to make an argument in favor of God's existence. What motivated me to think along those lines is a course on Descartes where I realized that you can't even prove that what you see is not a dream, which means that every reasoning starts with axioms, and that might also apply to the question about God. No, thats not what Descartes said: in fact I didn't agree with the way Descartes answered his own question at all. Rather, the course on Descartes got my attention to come up with my own answer. 
HER: That is very intelligent! 
ME: How about yourself, what religion are you? 
HER: I am Catholic. 
ME: I am Protestant, but I think Catholicism has some good points. Particularly, at times Jesus is very concise, which makes some of His sayings hard to understand. That is where early church fathers might be helpful: I mean, some of the early church fathers were students of the apostles, so they must know at least something. But at the same time I wouldn't agree with later church fathers nor with any other Catholic tradition that developed later on. I doubt Jesus was into icons and things like that. 
HER: Catholic church is not perfect I agree. Although Catholicism probably has the best answer regarding God's existence.

Now the place where it went sour was the following (its not the actual chatlog: I can't access the chatlog since she blocked me; its just a paraphrase)*(I will bold the parts I suspect might have turned her off)*:

HER: Its very rare to find a scientist that believes in God
ME: You are also a scientist who believes in God so we are on the same boat
HER: Yes!!! What do you think about it?
ME: Well I attend Graduate Christian Fellowship, there are only around 5 people, but majority of them are physicists. Also at the *adventist* church I go to there is a microbiologist. So there are some scientists that believe in God. But I don't think they think too much on how to reconcile their faith with their studies, I suspect they treat it as two separate things. Although there was a creationist seminar at the *adventist* church where they had professional geologists speaking in favor of creation. But I myself don't know much about geology, I am a physicist, so I can't judge the quality of their work. *I would be curious to see from neutral sources how prestigious those scientists are*

*I went for a run without telling her I left. I was hoping she wouldn't reply until I come back (so she won't be wondering why I don't reply) and in fact she didn't.* At first I was relieved but then I began to worry. In particular *it said the message was read* yet she didn't reply to it. Now its possible that she was going to reply later on (and then my subsequent question turned her off) but its also possible she was turned off by either my failing to reciprocate her excitement or by going for a run or by mentioning adventist church, etc.

ME (AGAIN): By the way I am not Adventist. It is just that, as Messianic, I am interested in various sects that combine Christianity and Judaism, such as Adventists, United Church of God, and so forth. I don't join those churches since I believe they follow false prophets, but I like to attend their services just because, as a scientist, I like to explore.

(again she didn't reply)

ME (AGAIN): I have Asperger's Syndrome so did I say anything that turned you off without noticing it?

HER: No dear, I am just busy

(even though I don't have chat log, I remember that she, in fact, used the expression "no dear"; to me it seems rather sarcastic and cold, thats why I remember it, but what would you make of it? In any case, the other thing I saw is that her chatlog wasn't listed on my history altogether; the way I saw "no dear" is that there is that little chat window at the bottom that I didn't close which shown her chat log -- by now that window *is* closed which is why I can't retrive it -- so its like she told me she didn't lose interest just busy and at the same exact time blocked me and/or unliked me or did something )

ME: Ok

(The only reason I typed Ok is to see if my message would go through since, like I said, I was suspecting I was blocked; it went through; then a while later I typed something else)

ME (AGAIN): How come I don't see your chat log in the history, did you block me or something?

Now something else happened: before that last message I couldn't see the chatlog in my history, but I could still see her profile, but then after this last message I couldn't see her profile either, it said her profile was set to private; now it just happened that I already had two okcupid accounts (a long time ago I forgot that I already had okcupid so I created a new one -- well its no longer new since I been using it for a long time) so I logged off of the account that I normally use, logged into the very old account that I didn't use for a long time, and clicked on her profile. Lo and behold, I could see her profile, it wasn't set to private. So apparently she made her profile unaccessible to me specifically.

What do you think is the reason she suddenly blocked me after acting excited?


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

Scanned through it because Causalset and the amount of pertinent information to useless waffle is about 1:30.

I did notice you mentioning Pascals Wager though, and if you told her that, and she has a brain that is actually encased in a skull and not half leaking out all over the place (you like the ill ones, if memory serves), she will have instantly vomited and lost all interest.

Pascals Wager is pathetic because:

1. It doesn't _prove_ god
2. It would result in a rather pissy weaksauce belief (meh I will just say I will believe)
3. There is no reason to assume God accepts the wager
4. More importantly, this applies to every other possible god you could imagine. The following 10 gods I just dreamed up all have a policy of endless genital torture for nonbelievers, so I hope you believe in these as well:
*
Gods That Torture The Genitalia Of Non Believers For Eternity:*

1. The Great Green Cucumber
2. The Mauve Tendril
3. Alan the Ever*******
4. The Father of Urine
5. Colin The Mighty
6. Gwen The Everfemme Who Always Returns
7. The Hand Thereafter and All His Sad Little Ethereal Accounts
8. Simpkins and Marlowe, The Conjoined Posh ******* Twins
9. The Over Goldfish
10. Confused Pete

Some of these gods demand exclusive belief, so which one are you going to pick? (*hint, Colin The Mighty is your best bet).

If you want an answer to your actual question, if you rephrase it in less then 4 lines I will have a go at answering seriously.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

splendidbob said:


> If you want an answer to your actual question, if you rephrase it in less then 4 lines I will have a go at answering seriously.


I talked to her two weeks ago, then she didn't talk to me. Then two days ago I asked if she lost interest. She said she didn't, she was just busy and asked me how I was doing. Then we talked about regular life. Then we switched to religion. Then when we talked about religion she was excited that I was a scientist believing in God which she thought was very rare. Instead of saying "oh yeah its rare and exciting" I mentioned other people I know that are scientists believing in God (which I suspect she might have found invalidating) and mentioned that one of them is at the adventist church (another possible mistake) then I went for a run (yet another possible mistake) and then when I came back from that run I saw she read what I said before the run but didn't reply, and so I asked if she lost interest, she said no she was just busy and blocked me.

The question: why would she act excited and then block me? Is it because her excitement was fake? Or is it because of my mistakes (either not reciprocating her excitement or one of the other ones I mentioned -- adventism, runing, etc)? Or was it because of something on her end, such as her finding someone or one of her friends not liking me?


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

Someone who has lost interest doesn't want to explain why they have lost interest, especially over such a small time investment as a brief conversation.

"Have you lost interest in me?"

is probably what made her totally lose interest btw. It makes you come across as super desperate.

She also isn't going to answer : "yes" because then you will ask "why?" and she would have to explain to you that you come across as desperate and / or weird because of whatever it is you wrote that was weird that put her off (and you do write weird stuff). That isn't nice to have to do.

What you fail to realise, for some reason, is that these initial interactions re dating are a superficial test, basically giving people early information about a person as to whether they might like them or not. Because the time investment is so small, people aren't expected to give detailed reasons why they aren't interested, it could just be a feeling about someone, and then **** it, onto the next person because its one single conversation. That you see it as more than this, and are wanting to find out why someone isn't interested comes across as creepy and stalkerish.

Also because of your massive aspergers you aren't aware that actions even here are more important than words. Words don't really ever convey someones true feelings, it is their actions that do. In this case saying "I didn't lose interest" then blocking you means she most definitely did lose interest.

Don't reply to this wall of texting me and arguing.


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## Micronian (Nov 11, 2004)

She's on OK cupid. She's probably playing the field, as she's entitled to do. It could be very possible, as she's interested in religion, that she's interested in someone with the same religion as hers (which may be why she asked). That is nobody's fault.

I also noticed, as a Catholic myself, that your comment had a slight bit of criticism towards the catholic establishment. Personally, I don't think it's a dealbreaker, but for someone who's playing the field--and more emotionally driven, as women are compared to men--it could be more significant.

Next time you talk to her, try to avoid any discussions on religion that could create differences, and emphasize more on the general virtues of faith and spirituality. Also, if there indeed are differences in the online chat, as you perceive, they may also manifest in a real outing and that would be a real drag on both of you.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

@splendidbob I realize it was a short interaction, but what puzzles me is that *immediately* before she lost interest she expressed excitement that its so rare I am a scientist believing in God. That makes me wonder whether I did something after she expressed that excitement that turned it around (hence a lot of my poll options cover that time period). Or are you saying she lost interest before she expressed that excitement and her expressing that excitement was fake?
@Micronian If you look at the timeline, she expressed that excitement that its rare for me to be a scientist believing in God *after* I have criticized catholics. So apparently the criticism of catholicism, by itself, wasn't enough to turn her off; what I did *after* her excitement was specifically mentioning adventists. So do you think naming adventists by name is what made it worse and I would have been fine if only I were to avoid that? Or do you think she lost interest regardless, and her expression of excitement that I was a scientist believing in God didn't imply interest and she knew she would block me even then? If so, wouldn't it seem a bit odd?


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Why do you keep expecting us to read the minds of strangers?


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)




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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

People want light banter when getting to know each other. Not novellas to every simple question.

It's exhausting and probably expects you'll be a borish person IRL.

Try to be more concise and avoid entering into deep responses on taboo topics like money, politics, religion, until you actually have a deeper relationship.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

SofaKing said:


> People want light banter when getting to know each other. Not novellas to every simple question.
> 
> It's exhausting and probably expects you'll be a borish person IRL.
> 
> Try to be more concise and avoid entering into deep responses on taboo topics like money, politics, religion, until you actually have a deeper relationship.


But you see, after I wrote my first "novel" on "religion" she responded in a positive way, which in turn encouraged me to write one more "novel", but after the second "novel" she backed off. So did she expect me to "know" not to write a second novel, "despite" the fact that her response to the first "novel" seemed to be positive?


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

causalset said:


> @splendidbob I realize it was a short interaction, but what puzzles me is that *immediately* before she lost interest she expressed excitement that its so rare I am a scientist believing in God. That makes me wonder whether I did something after she expressed that excitement that turned it around (hence a lot of my poll options cover that time period). Or are you saying she lost interest before she expressed that excitement and her expressing that excitement was fake?


It doesn't matter. Those things are a subset of why you are ****ing up. Whether its one specific thing, or another specific thing, you will always just do another specific thing that puts someone off you, because:



SofaKing said:


> People want light banter when getting to know each other. Not novellas to every simple question.
> 
> It's exhausting and probably expects you'll be a borish person IRL.
> 
> Try to be more concise and avoid entering into deep responses on taboo topics like money, politics, religion, until you actually have a deeper relationship.


This. Basically, these initial interactions are like surface level checks:

1. Is this person fun?
2. Is this person going to make me feel good?
3. Is this person going to make me feel bad?
4. Are there any red flags about this person that put me off them?

Stuff like that. When someone is like

"Hey, hi Causal, I find it interesting that you are a scientist and believe in god"

You reply something like:

"Yeh, its because of a few ideas that really made me think differently about it"

Then it invites her to ask more about it, _if she gives a ****_, if she doesn't you haven't wtf blasted her with a wall of text about Pascals wager and whatever the **** else you are interested in.

You need to understand that there is meaning outside the words you write. Your brain doesn't work in that way, you literally only take meaning from the words written or spoken, for everyone else there is a mass of much more valuable information about a person that can be gleaned from *how* they answer.

Massive untreated aspergers.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

causalset said:


> But you see, after I wrote my first "novel" on "religion" she responded in a positive way, which in turn encouraged me to write one more "novel", but after the second "novel" she backed off. So did she expect me to "know" not to write a second novel, "despite" the fact that her response to the first "novel" seemed to be positive?


Doesn't matter. She may have been being polite and had you written off on something else. You'll never know why.

You have to realize that forming impression are based on raw emotions and intuition, not based on logical reasoning.

Yet again, you're boiling it down to 1s and 0s and trying to build a framework for something that has no rubric, no dichotomous trees, no pattern recognition, nothing you're naturally adapted to.

I'm sorry you lack the ability to intuit this. Honestly, those of us without Aspergers aren't better at reading minds. We may just have a marginally better intuition about the tone and making adjustments.


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## Eyoga888 (Feb 17, 2018)

Its really impossible to say. But it might be that your persistence and constant asking her of whether you offender her put her off, it might have come across as intense. Again, its impossible to say what may have offender her if at all because we don't know her. You've really immersed yourself in this communication with someone you barely know on okcupid of all places which I think you need to consider starting to work on, because to become heavily invested in somebody so quickly, or heavily preoccupied with it is unhealthy and always leads to disappointment. Trust me.


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## Eyoga888 (Feb 17, 2018)

SofaKing said:


> People want light banter when getting to know each other. Not novellas to every simple question.
> 
> It's exhausting and probably expects you'll be a borish person IRL.
> 
> *Try to be more concise and avoid entering into deep responses on taboo topics like money, politics, religion, until you actually have a deeper relationship*.


Totally agree.


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## Ominous Indeed (Sep 6, 2015)

causalset said:


> life history


HER: Yes!!! What do you think about it?

Proper response: I think it's really cool you are a scientist and believe in god.

-> SHOW THAT YOU ARE INTERESTED IN THE PERSON. YOU SHOULD BE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT KIND OF PERSON SHE IS. ASK MORE QUESTIONS.

.. We are so few and far between and have to stick together 

.. Dreams do come true..?

-> FLIRT WITH HER.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

Ominous Indeed said:


> HER: Yes!!! What do you think about it?
> 
> Proper response: I think it's really cool you are a scientist and believe in god.
> 
> ...


Yes thats what I suspect my mistake was. But why did it caused her to do such a huge 180 so fast? If she thinks I am not interested, whats the point of blocking me: I won't be writing much anyway if I am not interested? Or was she actually angry at me for not being interested, like a lover would get angry if their love isn't reciprocated? But she wasn't at a stage of being my lover quite yet, or was she?


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

Eyoga888 said:


> Its really impossible to say. But it might be that your persistence and constant asking her of whether you offender her put her off, it might have come across as intense. Again, its impossible to say what may have offender her if at all because we don't know her. You've really immersed yourself in this communication with someone you barely know on okcupid of all places which I think you need to consider starting to work on, because to become heavily invested in somebody so quickly, or heavily preoccupied with it is unhealthy and always leads to disappointment. Trust me.


I agree with you. But I guess the reason I am doing it, despite knowing its not healthy, is that due to Asperger most people don't ever talk to me, and thats why I get fully invested into whoever does, since its so rare.


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## Neal (Jan 14, 2012)

I'm not sure how you'll learn how to do this since I don't understand your condition, but you gotta learn to stop flooding people with information. That would be the number one thing I'd work on if I were you. I hate to see you continuously sabotaging yourself because of something so simple.


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## Ominous Indeed (Sep 6, 2015)

causalset said:


> Yes thats what I suspect my mistake was. But why did it caused her to do such a huge 180 so fast? If she thinks I am not interested, whats the point of blocking me: I won't be writing much anyway if I am not interested? Or was she actually angry at me for not being interested, like a lover would get angry if their love isn't reciprocated? But she wasn't at a stage of being my lover quite yet, or was she?


I think she thought you were interested, but she stopped being interested in you because it is hard to converse with you.

As a general rule of thumb, maximize your sentences to not much bigger than the sentence above (My sentence). If you do that you guys can have a dialogue together, where both get to answer and ask questions. Remember that she will have to sit there and wait for you typing out all that stuff you do and nobody wants that. She needs to feel involved as well. If me and you were to have a conversation would you get enthusiastic/excited if you had to sit there and wait for me 5 minutes every 10th minute?


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## BAC (Aug 16, 2015)

For one thing, I think it's as simple as coming on way, wayyy too serious. Just because she responded in turn one time doesn't mean that you had the green light to act that way all the time. Realistically, you aren't going to find people who are looking to trade essays on a serious subject in a way to find out whether or not they are interested in dating them.

Not only that, you probably came off as pretty insecure if you straight up asked her questions such as "did I turn you off". All in all I think a good way of putting it is that you need to take it easy. Don't be so overly worked up right away about how she views you when you've barely even met the person. Keep conversation quick, light and fun, which can still be done with more serious conversation.


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## The Library of Emma (Mar 3, 2016)

...

As many other posters have said here... your texts are too long.

My brother used to tell me to think about direct conversation like tennis (though it's not a perfect analogy, since in this case you want the other player to hit the ball back).

Each time you show interest or ask questions, you "put the ball in their court." Conversation goes back and forth like that. One person talks, then the other one.

Typing a wall of text is like bouncing the ball up and down on your racket without ever hitting it back over the net. You're keeping the conversation on yourself. This makes it tiresome for those who would otherwise like to speak with you, and they give up and go home.

What you really need:


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

Exercise for your @causalset, from now on make _all_ threads and posts in less than 100 words.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

On a flip side, I remember five girls, within past five years, who DID write me massive emails in response to my massives. Then I didn't have time to respond to them and/or got some details wrong in what they wrote and it turned them off. So its like I can never win: 

--- with 99% of people I am the long winded one and its bad

--- with 1% of people they are more long winded than me and its also bad

How come I am never lucky enough to find someone who likes my exact amont of wordiness?


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

splendidbob said:


> Exercise for your @causalset, from now on make _all_ threads and posts in less than 100 words.


Challenge taken.


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## The Library of Emma (Mar 3, 2016)

causalset said:


> On a flip side, I remember five girls, within past five years, who DID write me massive emails in response to my massives. Then I didn't have time to respond to them and/or got some details wrong in what they wrote and it turned them off. So its like I can never win:
> 
> --- with 99% of people I am the long winded one and its bad
> 
> ...


Emails are a bit different from active texting. You can get away with more of a monologue in an email because they function like letters.

Also, just because x girl does a thing doesn't mean that thing is generally accepted.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

Girl Without a Shadow said:


> Also, just because x girl does a thing doesn't mean that thing is generally accepted.


But at least two of those five girls made it as if I am the only one they know who can't keep up with their wordiness. And I was like "no its the opposite, I am one of the most wordy ones and that's why I am lucky I met you". But they didn't believe me.


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## FlowingRiver (Feb 25, 2018)

Sorry to hear you had this experience happen, but it sounds like you've gotten some useful (albeit occasionally slightly harsh) suggestions here. Do you tend to do a lot of talking during in person communication as well?


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## Eyoga888 (Feb 17, 2018)

causalset said:


> I agree with you. But I guess the reason I am doing it, despite knowing its not healthy, is that due to Asperger most people don't ever talk to me, and thats why I get fully invested into whoever does, since its so rare.


 @causalset

Understandable. But if your aim is longevity then you won't get anywhere by being intense so quickly, it's just now how bonds tend to be formed.


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## Eyoga888 (Feb 17, 2018)

splendidbob said:


> Exercise for your @causalset, from now on make _all_ threads and posts in less than 100 words.


 @splendidbob

Leave him alone. He's reaching out for support and he's communicating in his own way, the least we can do is take the time to read through his concerns and support him, not deter him in any way.
If you're not willing to do so, just leave the thread and don't make a comment.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Eyoga888 said:


> @splendidbob
> 
> Leave him alone. He's reaching out for support and he's communicating in his own way, the least we can do is take the time to read through his concerns and support him, not deter him in any way.
> If you're not willing to do so, just leave the thread and don't make a comment.


I assure you that @splendidbob and those of us with a long history with @causalset have been doing our utmost for just that.

I admit that I've lost my patience at times, but there's a pattern your tenure with SAS hasn't had the opportunity to experience.


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## Eyoga888 (Feb 17, 2018)

SofaKing said:


> I assure you that @splendidbob and those of us with a long history with @causalset have been doing our utmost for just that.
> 
> I admit that I've lost my patience at times, but there's a pattern your tenure with SAS hasn't had the opportunity to experience.


I do appreciate that, but there's a way of communicating that thought.


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## FlowingRiver (Feb 25, 2018)

splendidbob said:


> Causalset is:
> 
> 1. Ex Stormfront member and still has those beliefs (gloves off for racists, don't care)
> 2. Has personally insulted one of my _very_ close friends on here who spent a long time PM'ing him _trying to give him help_
> ...


Ah, your explanation gives greater context as to why many of the replies seemed somewhat harsh. Thanks for the info. #1 and #2 are obviously quite concerning, and I really hope Casualset is willing to change such beliefs and behavior.

Casualset, has anyone provided you good reading materials on social skills training? I personally believe such books can help provide a skill set and goals to improve that almost anyone can benefit from. There are also forums specifically for individuals with Aspergers or ASD's that might be especially helpful for you.


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## Eyoga888 (Feb 17, 2018)

SFC01 said:


> Bob tells it exactly how it is with causalset so be warned before putting in any effort on the endless threads about females.


Lesson learned. I can already see how volatile this person is.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

Eyoga888 said:


> Lesson learned. I can already see how volatile this person is.


Why the **** doesn't it occur to you that maybe I am volatile because I am being treated this way!? If only I was given a bit of understanding I won't be that way?

And don't go tell me I was given it in the past. I can't ****en change the past!! In the here and now I am trying to make reasonable posts but people are warned against responding because of the fucjrn past. What the **** am I supposed to do?!


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## FlowingRiver (Feb 25, 2018)

causalset said:


> Go **** yourself.


I was only trying to help by providing some useful resources. Sorry if my comment came across as patronizing.


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## Eyoga888 (Feb 17, 2018)

causalset said:


> Why the **** doesn't it occur to you that maybe I am volatile because I am being treated this way!? If only I was given a bit of understanding I won't be that way?
> 
> And don't go tell me I was given it in the past. I can't ****en change the past!! In the here and now I am trying to make reasonable posts but people are warned against responding because of the fucjrn past. What the **** am I supposed to do?!


I already tried to offer you a sense of understanding - if you say "go **** yourself" when I try to offer some words of wisdom, I'm hardly going to respond positively to that, am I?

It would help if you calm down, stop swearing at people and taking out your issues on us, and actually listen to what we're saying and take it on board. Given your insulting comment (which I reported, by the way), you will no longer receive my support in the future.

Good day.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

FlowingRiver said:


> I was only trying to help by providing some useful resources. Sorry if my comment came across as patronizing.


I don't give a **** about any of your comment(s) after you been publucally warned against talking to me.

Go **** yourself.


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## SFC01 (Feb 10, 2016)

FlowingRiver said:


> I was only trying to help by providing some useful resources. Sorry if my comment came across as patronizing.


Sorry to follow you round FR, but don't take anything that prize plum says seriously.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

Eyoga888 said:


> I already tried to offer you a sense of understanding - if you say "go **** yourself" when I try to offer some words of wisdom, I'm hardly going to respond positively to that, am I?
> 
> It would help if you calm down, stop swearing at people and taking out your issues on us, and actually listen to what we're saying and take it on board. Given your insulting comment (which I reported, by the way), you will no longer receive my support in the future.
> 
> Good day.


 @splendidbob is the one who started it, don't you ****en see it?!


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## FlowingRiver (Feb 25, 2018)

Thanks SFC. I don't take casualsets comment personally, although it does tell me there isn't much point in my trying to help him or comment to anything he says. Eyoga was extremely reasonable in his comments and received the same response I did. I should probably look for other threads =P


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

FlowingRiver said:


> Thanks SFC. I don't take casualsets comment personally, although it does tell me there isn't much point in my trying to help him or comment to anything he says. Eyoga was extremely reasonable in his comments and received the same response I did. I should probably look for other threads =P


Doesn't it ****en occur to you that this exact attitude that talking to me is useless is precisely what makes me act tis way? I was acting pretty reasonably until you were warned against talking to me because of the past and I can't change the past.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

karenw said:


> Not worth it, go ahead & write as many words as you wish & continue to do so throughout your life. **** um. Tell them to bollocks. Words of wisdom bs.


Don't you ****en get it?! It has nothing to do with number of words it has to do with people being warned against talking to me!


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## SFC01 (Feb 10, 2016)

why hasn't he sworn at me yet ? I have probably been the most abusive about these endless tedious posts on women.


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## Ms kim (May 15, 2017)

You're a scientist?


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

RIP


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

Doesn't anyone else find it ridiculous that the only people to ever be remotely positive towards me are newcomers and then a bunch of older members are making SURE to deter them by telling them how horrible I am?! YES I ADMIT I BEEN GOING ON CIRCLES BUT I CAN"T ****EN CHANGE THE PAST. Its shallow mother****ers that GLUE me to my ****en past ultimately make me go on ****en circles. And then I am the one getting banned cause everyone thinks I ****en deserve that kind of treatment.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

splendidbob said:


> Causalset is:
> 
> 1. Ex Stormfront member and still has those beliefs (gloves off for racists, don't care)
> 2. Has personally insulted one of my very close friends on here who spent a long time PM'ing him trying to give him help
> ...


Pretty convenient how the mods erased this quote AND my response to it, making me look like a bad guy throwing tantrums completely out of the blue.

Let me reiterate:

1. You don't know my views. I might join stormfront out of curiosity.

2. That only happened because I got similar feedback from others, call it self fulfilling prophecy.

3. You say this because I go in circles? Well maybe I go in circles because nobody ever gives me a chance to DO anything, so all I am left with is complaining.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

causalset said:


> Pretty convenient how the mods erased this quote AND my response to it, making me look like a bad guy throwing tantrums completely out of the blue.
> 
> Let me reiterate:
> 
> ...


Seems like the mods just saved you from a piss poor retort.


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

I really dig your avatar @splendidbob , feeling quite the same sometimes on this forum haha.


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## Mabel Pines (Mar 19, 2018)

A beautiful cashier responded to me in a very friendly and much appreciated way.


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## discoveryother (Sep 18, 2016)

causalset said:


> Doesn't anyone else find it ridiculous that the only people to ever be remotely positive towards me are newcomers and then a bunch of older members are making SURE to deter them by telling them how horrible I am?! YES I ADMIT I BEEN GOING ON CIRCLES BUT I CAN"T ****EN CHANGE THE PAST. Its shallow mother****ers that GLUE me to my ****en past ultimately make me go on ****en circles. And then I am the one getting banned cause everyone thinks I ****en deserve that kind of treatment.


I don't think you deserve the treatment you've been getting this time. it does seem a bit wrong.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

andy1984thesecond said:


> I don't think you deserve the treatment you've been getting *this time*. it does seem a bit wrong.


Not *this* time but *all* the time. The only difference is whether people say it out loud or simply avoid replying to my posts. Notice how vast majority of the old members never reply to me? So OF COURSE there is no need to defame me in the other threads since nobody replies to me anyway. But the moment a newby comes along who wants to reply (like happened in this post) then everyone makes sure to deter them.


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## Jolese (Jan 4, 2005)

What the heck is going on in this thread? I can't sit here and make heads or tails of this, but why is it every time I am on this website there is like white supremacist stuff mentioned? I mean what is this place?!! Not only that, the whole internt?!!
@Ms kim I really like your avatar pic. Very pretty!


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

Jolese said:


> What the heck is going on in this thread? I can't sit here and make heads or tails of this, but why is it every time I am on this website there is like white supremacist stuff mentioned? I mean what is this place?!! Not only that, the whole internt?!!


I didn't mention White Supremacy, @splendidbob did. Ask him. Or more generally, ask everyone else who is old here why they are making sure to defame me JUST because of my Asperger.


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## Jolese (Jan 4, 2005)

causalset said:


> Or more generally, ask everyone else who is old here why they are making sure to defame me JUST because of my Asperger.


Nobody should be defaming you due to having Asperger's. Are you sure that is what is going on and it's not just a misunderstanding? Having conversations like this can be highly confusing, at least they are to me. But then again I am not good at socializing myself, so I don't know how useful my advice is. Like speaking of "old" members I have been on this website FOREVER and have made no lasting friendships, like I mean from before, not counting now. It's SO DEPRESSING! I'm saying that because it's true, and you sound very frustrated, and I understand that because I am also frustrated due to the lack of old friends.


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## Jolese (Jan 4, 2005)

causalset said:


> I didn't mention White Supremacy, @splendidbob did. Ask him.


 @splendidbob What is with the white supremacy stuff? Why is the topic always brought up here?


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

Jolese said:


> Nobody should be defaming you due to having Asperger's. Are you sure that is what is going on and it's not just a misunderstanding?


Yes it is about Asperger. Basically I was asking them to justify why people mistreat me in the "real" world and when they would answer I would ask further questions, and this lead them to the conclusion that I won't hear them anyway. But in reality the reason I acted this way is NOT because I am stupid but rather because I am frustrated, but they don't seem to get that.


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## Jolese (Jan 4, 2005)

How can they justify why people in the real world treat you badly? Should they? Or maybe you mean to further understand the people who have mistreated you? Sorry I should probably try reading this tread again from beginning to understand. This is confusing


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

Jolese said:


> How can they justify why people in the real world treat you badly? Should they? Or maybe you mean to further understand the people who have mistreated you? Sorry I should probably try reading this tread again from beginning to understand. This is confusing


Yeah, it is about my trying to understand why the people in the real world acted the way they did.

And it has nothing to do with this thread, it has to do with the threads I made for the past couple of years. Thats why its so frustrating: I make the thread that is perfectly fine, and I get mistreated because of the history.


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## Jolese (Jan 4, 2005)

I think you are just thinking about this whole thing too much. If you talk to her again, you do, if you don't, you don't. You have to stop asking the question about turning someone off directly to them. That is putting them on the spot. Let things happen, flow, naturally. You are somewhat wordy when you write, I skimmed through this thread myself, but I did see someone say that to you. Having a lot to say is not a bad thing, but you have to only let out a little at a time especially in a conversation. If you say too much all at once that can be overwhelming for the other person. I mean maybe that is not everyone's perception but I think the 99 percent would be overwhelmed with amount of info all at once.

I'm sorry you feel mistreated here. People should not be mistreating each other in places like this where they are looking for support and where people already feel very vulnerable, frustrated, anxious, or whatever. This is meant to be a SUPPORT website after all.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

Jolese said:


> I think you are just thinking about this whole thing too much. If you talk to her again, you do, if you don't, you don't. You have to stop asking the question about turning someone off directly to them. That is putting them on the spot. Let things happen, flow, naturally. You are somewhat wordy when you write, I skimmed through this thread myself, but I did see someone say that to you. Having a lot to say is not a bad thing, but you have to only let out a little at a time especially in a conversation. If you say too much all at once that can be overwhelming for the other person. I mean maybe that is not everyone's perception but I think the 99 percent would be overwhelmed with amount of info all at once.


I already know I will never hear from her, since she blocked me. And I do plan to avoid writing too much in the future, but I have no idea how long I will have to wait since nobody ever likes me before I even say the word. Its probably vibes I give off.



Jolese said:


> I'm sorry you feel mistreated here. People should not be mistreating each other in places like this where they are looking for support and where people already feel very vulnerable, frustrated, anxious, or whatever. This is meant to be a SUPPORT website after all.


I am sure everyone who attacked me will agree with you ... just not in my case. Somehow when it comes to support, I am an exception for the rule. I am the only one who doesn't deserve support in their mind.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

Jolese said:


> @splendidbob What is with the white supremacy stuff? Why is the topic always brought up here?


A lot of alt right people I guess.

I have blocked the 5 or so worst offenders on this site, @causalset doesn't talk much about his thoughts on this matter, but he has, I just cba to look back over his posts.

I have no problem with people who have aspergers, but I do have a problem with causal because of his views on race, but also because a very good friend of mine tried to help him via pm and he ended up insulting her.

I don't care any more anyway, lets get this stupid thread back on topic to whatever weird **** its about and I can go back to thinking about ways to die quietly.


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## Jolese (Jan 4, 2005)

*And I do plan to avoid writing too much in the future, but I have no idea how long I will have to wait since nobody ever likes me before I even say the word. Its probably vibes I give off. *

Yes, being a little less wordy may be beneficial to you. I disagree with your assumption that no one ever likes you. I am quite sure that cannot be right. You need more patience although, admittedly, I am sure that is difficult when you have had to be patient for a long time.

*I am sure everyone who attacked me will agree with you ... just not in my case. Somehow when it comes to support, I am an exception for the rule. I am the only one who doesn't deserve support in their mind.*

You are not the exception to the rule. You deserve support.


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## Jolese (Jan 4, 2005)

@splendidbob what is "cba"?

*thinking about ways to die quietly.*

Don't do that. Focus on ways to feel alive and thrive instead.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

@Jolese "cant be arsed".

Given the verbose nature of the OP's threads and posts it would take _some determination_ to find the offending stuff bordering on a full time unpaid job. Not that it matters. SAS has always been remarkably forgiving to people with those kinds of beliefs anyway. I have no idea why.

There is also the issue of actually feeding the OP and making him worse by engaging. It's a bit like reassuring someone with OCD, its totally the wrong thing to do and just makes it worse. I suspect that engaging with him and actually discussing his strange ideas, rather than pointing out that *obviously it is his very severe aspergers that is his problem and needs treatment* isn't doing him any favours.

Or at least, since none of us here are in any position to make those kinds of diagnosis _really_, to at least tell him to go and see a specialist and get the diagnosis treatment that he needs is the best option. I have no real clue about aspergers though, so I might be talking rubbish as always.

And thank you for your kind words btw, though it's a bit of a struggle atm.

I will duck out of this thread though, would be very easy in my current mindset to say something bannable, and am not quite prepared to leave this place just yet.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

causalset said:


> Now, I don't have a chat log because she blocked me, but let me give you the paraphrase of that conversation about religion (note that I am only including the one I had yesterday and skipping everything until then; so its not like we started with religion -- like I said we talked about her work and her visitting her sister prior to that):
> 
> HER: What religion are you?
> ME: I am Messianic. That means I was born Jewish, but I decided to believe in Jesus later in life, but I still follow Jewish practices as well.
> ...


The highlight in red is where you should have stopped having a conversation with her and started making plans with her.

She was interested enough to keep on talking to you. You have to remember that women can choose to not respond back if they're not feeling anything, so the fact that she was talking to you and continuing the conversation, she was interested enough.

The mistake you made was continuing to talk to her. You should have asked her out and gone on a date with her and then talk to her through real life.

From now on, your main objective in online dating is to get a girl off of the internet and in real life. Don't spend weeks texting a girl. You want to ask a girl out after several days, that's it.

*"I have Asperger's Syndrome so did I say anything that turned you off without noticing it?"*

First off, you made the mistake of asking her hey is there anything that turned you off? NEVER do this! For one thing, it makes you come off as needy and you are seeking her approval. Women are turned off by this. Also you said, "How come I don't see your chat log in the history, did you block me or something?" Another needy thing to say.

Saying you have aspergers syndrome. I do too by the way. However, don't mention your aspergers diagnosis until you're several dates in with this girl and you get the vibe that she likes you.

Basically what you were saying in this message was, i'm some guy with aspergers who lacks social skills and is also incredibly needy.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

splendidbob said:


> *I have no problem with people who have aspergers,* but I do have a problem with causal because of his views on race,


Yes you do:



splendidbob said:


> 3. Isn't going to get any benefit from "support". He needs to get help for his aspergers.





splendidbob said:


> There is also the issue of actually feeding the OP and making him worse by engaging. It's a bit like reassuring someone with OCD, its totally the wrong thing to do and just makes it worse. I suspect that engaging with him and actually discussing his strange ideas, rather than pointing out that *obviously it is his very severe aspergers that is his problem and needs treatment* isn't doing him any favours.


And, speaking of race, the fact that I was on Stormfront doesn't mean I agree with them 100%. For example, their idea of future "all white state" is just crazy. I do, however, think they have some "good points" -- just like Jehovah Wittnesses have "good points" too even though they are wrong overall. I just don't like when some individuals/groups/trains of thought are being shunned out of discussion.



splendidbob said:


> but also because a very good friend of mine tried to help him via pm and he ended up insulting her


I only did that because I was angry at some other people (other than her) that gave me similar response you did.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

causalset said:


> Yes you do:


Saying someone suffering very badly, obviously from aspergers needs to get help for that aspergers doesn't mean I have a problem with people with aspergers. Don't be absurd.

You obviously need to get help with your aspergers, it isn't a criticism, its intended to help you.



causalset said:


> And, speaking of race, the fact that I was on Stormfront doesn't mean I agree with them 100%. For example, their idea of future "all white state" is just crazy. *I do, however, think they have some "good points"* -- just like Jehovah Wittnesses have "good points" too even though they are wrong overall. I just don't like when some individuals/groups/trains of thought are being shunned out of discussion.


Which to my mind is nothing short than an admission of racism. I don't want to give support to people who thing overtly racist websites "have some good points".



causalset said:


> I only did that because I was angry at some other people (other than her) that gave me similar response you did.


Oh well that's ok then. The next time someone cuts me up in traffic I will be totally justified in calling you whatever sweary **** you called her.

Don't bother replying with another wall of text, in fact don't bother replying you are on ignore.


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## TheInvisibleHand (Sep 5, 2015)

No way am reading this i need more alcohol.


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## Jolese (Jan 4, 2005)

@splendidbob You sound very stressed out in your messages. I think when it's getting to that level you need to just calm down. Go do something else, take a walk, and then reply when you are in a better mood.


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## Jolese (Jan 4, 2005)

*For example, their idea of future "all white state" is just crazy. I do, however, think they have some "good points" -- just like Jehovah Wittnesses have "good points" too even though they are wrong overall. I just don't like when some individuals/groups/trains of thought are being shunned out of discussion. 
*

I agree that you should at least hear another person's point of view. I was just reading a neo-conservative book written by an Indian American and I am mainly left-leaning, because I am trying to separate fact from fiction, and hear the other side. You have to at least listen. I don't know how much of a voice white supremacists should have though, I think very little. Some of the stuff, a lot of the stuff, in the book is hogwash. Anyway getting off topic, as is my way.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

Jolese said:


> @splendidbob You sound very stressed out in your messages. I think when it's getting to that level you need to just calm down. Go do something else, take a walk, and then reply when you are in a better mood.


Meh nvm, Ill just put you on ignore as well. That's what its there for.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

splendidbob said:


> Saying someone suffering very badly, obviously from aspergers needs to get help for that aspergers doesn't mean I have a problem with people with aspergers. Don't be absurd.


You didn't just say I need treatment, you also said people should stop talking to me because of this.



splendidbob said:


> You obviously need to get help with your aspergers, it isn't a criticism, its intended to help you.


Then how come you mention my racist posts in this regard, if your intention is to help me?



splendidbob said:


> Which to my mind is nothing short than an admission of racism.


I think "black lives matter" have good points too. So its not racism its being open minded.



splendidbob said:


> Oh well that's ok then. The next time someone cuts me up in traffic I will be totally justified in calling you whatever sweary **** you called her.


Having bad reputation is not the same thing as being in a traffic accident.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

Jolese said:


> I agree that you should at least hear another person's point of view. I was just reading a neo-conservative book written by an Indian American and I am mainly left-leaning, because I am trying to separate fact from fiction, and hear the other side. You have to at least listen.


I am glad you see my point. Being able to read literature on both sides is a lot more important than whether you are left-leaning or right-leaning in total. Thats what I like about third parties, they might be left leaning on some issues and right leaning on others, but they are open minded overall.

What was the title of the book you were reading?



Jolese said:


> I don't know how much of a voice white supremacists should have though, I think very little. Some of the stuff, a lot of the stuff, in the book is hogwash. Anyway getting off topic, as is my way.


I think they should have as much voice as anyone. If its a hogwash people will see it for what it is after open discussion.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

xxDark Horse said:


> The highlight in red is where you should have stopped having a conversation with her and started making plans with her.


So are you saying she blocked me because I didn't make those plans? But she didn't even wait for half an hour to see if I was going to make them. Are you saying she wanted me to make plans IMMEDIATELY and if not right then and there then never? If so, why was she acting this way?


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

causalset said:


> So are you saying she blocked me because I didn't make those plans? But she didn't even wait for half an hour to see if I was going to make them. Are you saying she wanted me to make plans IMMEDIATELY and if not right then and there then never? If so, why was she acting this way?


All i'm trying to say is that you shouldn't spend weeks texting a girl, you want to get her off the website and meet up with her as soon as possible.

I mean let's put it this way.

First off, you truly don't know whether you have chemistry with someone or not until you're talking to them face to face. Talking to someone and exchanging words is one thing, but actually talking to someone face to face is another. Not to mention that a lot of women look a lot different in real life.

Secondly the longer you talk to a girl without asking her out, the more likely you're to either make some sort of mistake that makes her ignore you, or she gets bored of texting you and simply ignores you.

If you've been talking to a girl for a day or two and she seems interested, that's when you ask her out so try to gauge whether she's potentially interested or not. You will know because she will put an effort to keep the conversation going. She may even ask you questions, and comment on things you say, when you tell a joke, she will laugh and go along with it.

After you've built up some social momentum with her, that's when you ask her out. Because if you don't, then eventually the social momentum is going to go down and she will likely get bored and just ignore you.

If a girl isn't interested, it will be mostly one worded responses and takes FOREVER to respond. She never puts in an effort to keep the convo going, that's when you know she's not interested. And if you attempt to ask her out when she's giving you poor responses, it's always going to end up with her either saying no, ignoring you, or blocking you.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

xxDark Horse said:


> All i'm trying to say is that you shouldn't spend weeks texting a girl, you want to get her off the website and meet up with her as soon as possible.
> 
> I mean let's put it this way.
> 
> ...


How about this specific situation: she was showing signs of interest AFTER I waited over week, not before. But then AFTER her showing signs of interest it took only HALF AN HOUR for her to block me (half an hour was my going running, in terms of our conversation, it was only few sentences). So why did interest die that fast?


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## discoveryother (Sep 18, 2016)

causalset said:


> Yes you do:
> 
> And, speaking of race, the fact that I was on Stormfront doesn't mean I agree with them 100%. For example, their idea of future "all white state" is just crazy. I do, however, think they have some "good points" -- just like Jehovah Wittnesses have "good points" too even though they are wrong overall. I just don't like when some individuals/groups/trains of thought are being shunned out of discussion.
> 
> I only did that because I was angry at some other people (other than her) that gave me similar response you did.


you still need to practice being apologetic for the things that you have done in the past rather than explain why you did the thing. and you can't argue that an explanation is the same as an apology. when you did something wrong you ought to be apologetic. apply this rule and your interactions will go better.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

andy1984thesecond said:


> you still need to practice being apologetic for the things that you have done in the past rather than explain why you did the thing. and you can't argue that an explanation is the same as an apology. when you did something wrong you ought to be apologetic. apply this rule and your interactions will go better.


Why should I apologize for being on stormfront?

1. I am allowed to be wherever I want. My membership elsewhere doesn't cause any disturbance to this site. 
2. Registering somewhere doesn't mean I agree with them it just means they have a few good points worth of interest. 
3. Even if I did agree with them, having a certain view isn't the same as doing something wrong.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

It's quite sad that you don't have anything better to do with your time.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

karenw said:


> Yes it's long. If you say have a break from dating it's probably wrong.


What are you trying to say? I am not sure I understand the way you phrased it.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

karenw said:


> Well you're spending alot of time thinking about girls when there's other stuff to think about.


Thats because it stares me into face. Every time I go to the class, or the library, or caffee, and see guys and girls interacting yet all girls avoiding me, that hurts. Also the prospect of dying single and childless looks pretty bad, doesn't it?


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

karenw said:


> What about Asperger's groups for hobbies etc?


Doing hobbies won't affect my self esteem, having a girlfriend would.


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## birddookie (Jan 8, 2018)

causalset said:


> Doing hobbies won't affect my self esteem, having a girlfriend would.


I think she means meeting people who have the same condition as you. You should be able to relate to people in these groups better, and might find a girlfriend. Also don't go in with that as the main goal. It's a journey, you won't just walk a straight path most of the time and find a girlfriend. There will be hills, valleys, mountains, beaches and different paths to take. Also, if you are fixated on the end, instead of the path to the end, you might miss on meeting a great person.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

birddookie said:


> I think she means meeting people who have the same condition as you. You should be able to relate to people in these groups better, and might find a girlfriend. Also don't go in with that as the main goal. It's a journey, you won't just walk a straight path most of the time and find a girlfriend. There will be hills, valleys, and different paths to take. Also, ff you are fixated on the end, instead of the path to the end, you might miss on meeting a great person.


Well I don't know of any groups specifically for people with Asperger, not in my area anyway.

I do go to Bible studies though (none of them have Asperger), but that doesn't help my social life: they didn't invite me to hang around outside the Bible study.


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## discoveryother (Sep 18, 2016)

causalset said:


> Why should I apologize for being on stormfront?
> 
> 1. I am allowed to be wherever I want. My membership elsewhere doesn't cause any disturbance to this site.
> 2. Registering somewhere doesn't mean I agree with them it just means they have a few good points worth of interest.
> 3. Even if I did agree with them, having a certain view isn't the same as doing something wrong.


no, as far as your racism goes I accept that you're a bit racist. one individual racist doesn't really bother me, there are worse things going on. everyone knows racism when they see it, they're trained to see it and hate it like good boy scouts. it's the low hanging fruit of morality. so I don't care.

I was referring to the way you treat other members, taking your frustration out on them, swearing at them, etc. I mean the incident which was mentioned again; and again you only gave reasons why it happened but didn't demonstrate remorse. this is why people get angry with you and the anger doesn't get resolved because you don't offer resolution, you only give endless reasons why, and more questions and contemplating.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

andy1984thesecond said:


> no, as far as your racism goes I accept that you're a bit racist.


Sounds sarcastic. You accept me yet you slam the label on me?



andy1984thesecond said:


> everyone knows racism when they see it, *they're trained to see it* and hate it like good boy scouts.


Training against a specific taboo is called propaganda.



andy1984thesecond said:


> I was referring to the way you treat other members, taking your frustration out on them, swearing at them, etc. I mean the incident which was mentioned again; and again you only gave reasons why it happened but didn't demonstrate remorse. this is why people get angry with you and the anger doesn't get resolved because you don't offer resolution, you only give endless reasons why, and more questions and contemplating.


Actually, I did apologize to her, at the bottom of the reply number 36 on this thread: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...ct-a-man-she-doesn-t-love-2146226/index2.html

I realize that the lengthy explanations might have invalidated the apology, but she accepted an apology on next reply. So I guess she wasn't completely honest with me: she told me she accepted it yet she told @splendidbob that she didn't. Incidentally, she also asked me via PM about stormfront and she insisted that she "doesn't remember" who told her, apparently she does.


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## birddookie (Jan 8, 2018)

causalset said:


> Well I don't know of any groups specifically for people with Asperger, not in my area anyway.
> 
> I do go to Bible studies though (none of them have Asperger), but that doesn't help my social life: they didn't invite me to hang around outside the Bible study.


You could use dating websites if you don't already, and mention that you would like to meet women who have Aspergers. Don't say only women with, but say you would like to in addition of anyone who is interested in you.

How do you act around your bible study? You might be giving off a presence or please don't bother me with how you talk, and your body language. Try smiling if you don't already, and be more friendly.

Also if you are racist, that probably doesn't sit well with a lot of Christian folks, since Christianity from what I understand doesn't want you to hate. It's about loving your fellow humans, there is more to it then that, but that is what I gathered from the few times I went to church. You can learn to not hate, I had some questionable thoughts as a young adult that I'm not proud of, nothing hate related, but more of prejudices.

You grow older and learn, and I think some of the people in this world are selfish in their thoughts of how things should be and how things are. Some people fail to realize that not everyone is like them, and wont stand back, try to see things from another person's point of view, and try to understand why they think the way they do.

I can see why a person could be racist, and can see how a person could stop being racist. The first step to not being racist is to see who a person is by how they present themselves to you, not your preconceived notions of their race. Your goal is to get rid of those preconceived notions as well. It will take time, and you might slip up some while doing it, but you can change. Also look at it this way, your pool of potential girlfriends would increase.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

birddookie said:


> You could use dating websites if you don't already, and mention that you would like to meet women who have Aspergers.


I did mention that I have Asperger in my profile; although I didn't say I am looking for women with Asperger since I don't want to exclude other women.



birddookie said:


> How do you act around your bible study? You might be giving off a presence or please don't bother me with how you talk, and your body language.


I actually asked that question privately to a few people. One person said I ask "direct questions" but weren't specific which ones. The other person said I tend to get fixated on specific topics, and brought up the Book of Revelation as an example.



birddookie said:


> Also if you are racist, that probably doesn't sit well with a lot of Christian folks, since Christianity from what I understand doesn't want you to hate.


I already said that joining stormfront out of curiousity doesn't make me racist.



birddookie said:


> Also look at it this way, your pool of potential girlfriends would increase.


Non-white girlfriend is off limits. I don't mind non-white friends though.


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## Jolese (Jan 4, 2005)

splendidbob said:


> Meh nvm, Ill just put you on ignore as well. That's what its there for.


Okay, if that's what you feel comfortable doing than so be it. But as you said to Causal, the advice is only meant to help. I rarely post on these forums and when I do I'm getting ignored? How does THAT work? Must mean I am challenging your opinion and you don't like that. But you can't hear me anyway so whatever.


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## Jolese (Jan 4, 2005)

causalset said:


> I am glad you see my point. Being able to read literature on both sides is a lot more important than whether you are left-leaning or right-leaning in total. Thats what I like about third parties, they might be left leaning on some issues and right leaning on others, but they are open minded overall.
> 
> What was the title of the book you were reading?
> 
> I think they should have as much voice as anyone. If its a hogwash people will see it for what it is after open discussion.


The title is The Big Lie, by Dinesh D'Souza. Some points he did make were valid, but yeah mainly hogwash. And I didn't get too far into it. Can't wait to read Comey's book though next month. That one I will read cover to cover.

You think giving them as much voice as anyone is acceptable? No, it's not! But I don't have time to create a well thought out argument to back myself up. So much to do, so little time!

Hope everyone here has a Happy Easter and a good weekend.

Oh and if you are on some racist website Casual, I hope you are in there correcting all their logical fallacies, which in other words means working to END racism. Good day!


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## Ms kim (May 15, 2017)

Jolese said:


> @Ms kim I really like your avatar pic. Very pretty!


Thank you.


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## birddookie (Jan 8, 2018)

causalset said:


> I did mention that I have Asperger in my profile; although I didn't say I am looking for women with Asperger since I don't want to exclude other women.
> 
> I actually asked that question privately to a few people. One person said I ask "direct questions" but weren't specific which ones. The other person said I tend to get fixated on specific topics, and brought up the Book of Revelation as an example.
> 
> ...


That's true, It's probably best to not mess with it. Have you been messaged by women who have Asperger's?

I don't think that is a good enough reason not to invite someone out. Are you confrontational most of the time? Ask someone from the group to help you out, and that you would like to hang out with them. They might not be your cup of tea though, and they might've determined that from how you get a long with them in the group.

I came in late on this part, sorry.

Ok gotcha.


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## Chevy396 (Jul 10, 2017)

causalset said:


> Pretty convenient how the mods erased this quote AND my response to it, making me look like a bad guy throwing tantrums completely out of the blue.
> 
> Let me reiterate:
> 
> ...


;(;(;( You poor thing. Oh wait no of that was true, never mind.

Sent from my Pixel 2 XL using Tapatalk


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## discoveryother (Sep 18, 2016)

causalset said:


> Sounds sarcastic. You accept me yet you slam the label on me?
> 
> Training against a specific taboo is called propaganda.
> 
> ...


agreed that I do think of you as racist. you may disagree. I don't think I "slam the label on you", I just read what you have written in the past and I don't think you have changed your mind since then.

agree about propaganda. critical thinking is more important, and increasing scope of that thinking.

I know you apologised to her, after a long time, after some prompting. but whenever you refer to that and other incidents you are not apologetic. even some disinterested third party could analyse why something happened, give reasons, etc. when you write about bad things you have done you sound like a disinterested third party. the difference is that it was you that did those things. if you don't even try to resolve people's distrust of you then they wont trust you. on one occasion you apologised, and that's good. but you don't have much goodwill left. what you write affects everyone who reads it, it forms their opinions of you.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

andy1984thesecond said:


> agreed that I do think of you as racist. you may disagree. I don't think I "slam the label on you", I just read what you have written in the past and I don't think you have changed your mind since then.


Well, I don't think blacks should be discriminated against in education or employment, I am just opposed to them getting special treatment. I am not opposed to being friends with them, I just won't date them. As you see, my beliefs aren't that unusual. I simply like to talk about them more than others. That makes me honest, not racist.



andy1984thesecond said:


> agree about propaganda. critical thinking is more important, and increasing scope of that thinking.


Which is precisely my motive of talking about various "taboo" subjects.



andy1984thesecond said:


> I know you apologised to her, after a long time, after some prompting. but whenever you refer to that and other incidents you are not apologetic. even some disinterested third party could analyse why something happened, give reasons, etc. when you write about bad things you have done you sound like a disinterested third party. the difference is that it was you that did those things. if you don't even try to resolve people's distrust of you then they wont trust you. on one occasion you apologised, and that's good. but you don't have much goodwill left. what you write affects everyone who reads it, it forms their opinions of you.


Before I had to "refer" to that incident, it was brought up by others. The question is why do they keep bringing it up? I already apologized, no?


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

birddookie said:


> I don't think that is a good enough reason not to invite someone out.


I didn't say it was the immediate reason. I said this was why the interaction didn't develop far enough for this to happen.



birddookie said:


> Are you confrontational most of the time?


I don't remember being confrontational, but people do describe me as "intense". Maybe its even my body language since I had that feedback from people with whom I didn't have a chance to really talk.



birddookie said:


> Ask someone from the group to help you out, and that you would like to hang out with them.


No, I want others to be the ones inviting me. Otherwise it feels like they don't like me and just doing me a favor.


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## discoveryother (Sep 18, 2016)

causalset said:


> Well, I don't think blacks should be discriminated against in education or employment, I am just opposed to them getting special treatment. I am not opposed to being friends with them, I just won't date them. As you see, my beliefs aren't that unusual. I simply like to talk about them more than others. That makes me honest, not racist.
> 
> Which is precisely my motive of talking about various "taboo" subjects.
> 
> Before I had to "refer" to that incident, it was brought up by others. The question is why do they keep bringing it up? I already apologized, no?


you mention race a lot, and in the past you've been a bit racist. this is just my opinion of you. there's not much you can do about it except not be racist in the future and that opinion will fade away.

same goes for the apology. if you apologise once, fine. but maybe you just did it to get people off your back. people bring it up because they don't trust you because of it. and then they see you're not apologetic anymore. how can you trust something someone does just once? has the person changed? no. do I think you'll try to not do it again? not really. it shows that the idea that you wronged someone isn't on your mind. you don't demonstrate regret. your behavior hasn't changed. hence people not liking you or not trusting you. you say the right things eventually, when prompted. but later on you continue as usual.


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## Chevy396 (Jul 10, 2017)

causalset said:


> Well, I don't think blacks should be discriminated against in education or employment, I am just opposed to them getting special treatment. I am not opposed to being friends with them, I just won't date them. As you see, my beliefs aren't that unusual. I simply like to talk about them more than others. That makes me honest, not racist.


Proving how common racism is, doesn't make you any less racist. It just makes you more basic & racist at the same time.


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## birddookie (Jan 8, 2018)

causalset said:


> I didn't say it was the immediate reason. I said this was why the interaction didn't develop far enough for this to happen.
> 
> I don't remember being confrontational, but people do describe me as "intense". Maybe its even my body language since I had that feedback from people with whom I didn't have a chance to really talk.
> 
> No, I want others to be the ones inviting me. Otherwise it feels like they don't like me and just doing me a favor.


Sometimes you have to put your foot down. The simple reason they don't ask you is that you don't ask. Ask them to go somewhere, if you don't want to ask if you can join.


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## Chevy396 (Jul 10, 2017)

I just read the OP, or a few lines of that book. Holy sh*t. I think you're reading too much into things.

Sent from my Pixel 2 XL using Tapatalk


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

SolutionX said:


> I just read the OP, or a few lines of that book. Holy sh*t. I think you're reading too much into things.


Well, if I don't overanalyze, then the obvious question is: why did she suddenly block me if everything seemed fine? So that would call for some over-analyzing wouldn't it?


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

andy1984thesecond said:


> you mention race a lot


Thats the whole entire reason why I say I am not racist: other people might have the same beliefs I do, you just won't know it because they don't talk about the subject. Racism is a belief, not the amount of time I spend talking about it. So in order to see whether I am racist or not you will have to get others to talk about it just as much as I do and see how their beliefs compare to mine. But they would never do it cause they know to avoid the *topic*.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

SolutionX said:


> Proving how common racism is, doesn't make you any less racist. It just makes you more basic & racist at the same time.


The point is that @splendidbob just singled out myself and 5 other members for the attack, rather than attacking 50% of the community here. I don't know about those other 5 people he had in mind, but at least in my case my beliefs are common so those 50% aren't any more racist than me, they just chose to avoid the topic.


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## discoveryother (Sep 18, 2016)

causalset said:


> Thats the whole entire reason why I say I am not racist: other people might have the same beliefs I do, you just won't know it because they don't talk about the subject. Racism is a belief, not the amount of time I spend talking about it. So in order to see whether I am racist or not you will have to get others to talk about it just as much as I do and see how their beliefs compare to mine. But they would never do it cause they know to avoid the *topic*.


its not really comparative. other people who don't talk about it, who I'm not talking to - I just don't know if they are racist or not. that doesn't make you not racist.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

andy1984thesecond said:


> its not really comparative. other people who don't talk about it, who I'm not talking to - I just don't know if they are racist or not. that doesn't make you not racist.


I think it is comparative. Different races have different interests, so the more you help one race the more you hurt another race. The trick is for the help/hurt that different races receive to be equal. But how can you define equal? You can't. Thats why most people who are considered racist against one group would legitimately claim that its the rest of society thats racist against another group. But ultimately whom you are racist against is all relative, since you are comparing your own preferences against the notion of "equality" which isn't well defined.


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## Chevy396 (Jul 10, 2017)

causalset said:


> I think it is comparative. Different races have different interests, so the more you help one race the more you hurt another race. The trick is for the help/hurt that different races receive to be equal. But how can you define equal? You can't. Thats why most people who are considered racist against one group would legitimately claim that its the rest of society thats racist against another group. But ultimately whom you are racist against is all relative, since you are comparing your own preferences against the notion of "equality" which isn't well defined.


Dude, you need to talk to a licensed therapist about your issues and beliefs on race. Until then you will be a racist no matter how many circles you run in.

Since your next question will be fained shock and asking me what you did now to gain these awful accusations, it was mainly the statement "Different races have different interests." that triggered me this time.

Do you really believe these statements? I mean, you might as well talk about how all Asians are good at math, all black people are athletes, and all Mexicans are illegal immigrants. I know you want to.

Oh... not all, just most? Ok, that makes it all better then. Just under the racism radar so you can still get laid and have your racist opinions at the same time.

Sent from my Pixel 2 XL using Tapatalk


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

SolutionX said:


> Dude, you need to talk to a licensed therapist about your issues and beliefs on race. Until then you will be a racist no matter how many circles you run in.
> 
> Since your next question will be fained shock and asking me what you did now to gain these awful accusations, it was mainly the statement "Different races have different interests." that triggered me this time.
> 
> ...


Russians and Ukrainians are genetically the same, but they have different interests as of now. Different social groups having different interests is just a political reality, independent of genetics.

Its true, though, that blacks are more gifted in sports and Whites are more gifted in math. But, with training, one can always overcome this difference. Plus, this doesn't mean I advocate discrimination. People should be hired on merit- only basis. How people achieved said merit is irrelevant. It's the liberals who are opposed to merrit-only by supporting affirmative action and that's the only thing I disagree with.


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## Chevy396 (Jul 10, 2017)

causalset said:


> Russians and Ukrainians are genetically the same, but they have different interests as of now. Different social groups having different interests is just a political reality, independent of genetics.
> 
> Its true, though, that blacks are more gifted in sports and Whites are more gifted in math. But, with training, one can always overcome this difference. Plus, this doesn't mean I advocate discrimination. People should be hired on merit- only basis. How people achieved said merit is irrelevant. It's the liberals who are opposed to merrit-only by supporting affirmative action and that's the only thing I disagree with.


This isn't the first time I've heard all these ideas, so you can stop trying to convince me you're not racist.

Sent from my Pixel 2 XL using Tapatalk


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## discoveryother (Sep 18, 2016)

causalset said:


> I think it is comparative. Different races have different interests, so the more you help one race the more you hurt another race. The trick is for the help/hurt that different races receive to be equal. But how can you define equal? You can't. Thats why most people who are considered racist against one group would legitimately claim that its the rest of society thats racist against another group. But ultimately whom you are racist against is all relative, since you are comparing your own preferences against the notion of "equality" which isn't well defined.


you really make me feel like you're not listening to me at all.


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## Jolese (Jan 4, 2005)

*Different races have different interests, so the more you help one race the more you hurt another race.*

Can you please explain how this is so. I disagree with this COMPLETELY.

Anyway, the other thing I wanted to get back to you on was the whole socializing/meeting people/ meeting your life partner idea. I know you mentioned going to church and in another post attending Sedar I think this is held at synagogue? Oh and by the way, what is the proper way to acknowledge Passover is it "Happy Passover"? I forgot to acknowledge that to you last time in my rush. Hope you had a good one. But at church and synagogue focus on attending places of worship that are also social. You might even do this in addition to the places you go now. Look for a church where they have like luncheons or dinners, that always gets people socializing. Or maybe additionally other types of gatherings that are church centered. Even if this means trying out a lot of different churches. Hope you live in a big area. Well good luck with it all!


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

Jolese said:


> *Different races have different interests, so the more you help one race the more you hurt another race.*
> 
> Can you please explain how this is so. I disagree with this COMPLETELY.


Example 1: If you enforce affirmative action you hurt interests of Whites, if you abolish it you hurt interest of blacks

Example 2: If you raize taxes you hurt interest of Whites if you lower taxes you hurt interest of blacks.

Bottom line: with limited resources the interests of any two groups compete against each other. Racial groups is a special case of it.



Jolese said:


> Anyway, the other thing I wanted to get back to you on was the whole socializing/meeting people/ meeting your life partner idea. I know you mentioned going to church and in another post attending Sedar I think this is held at synagogue? Oh and by the way, what is the proper way to acknowledge Passover is it "Happy Passover"? I forgot to acknowledge that to you last time in my rush. Hope you had a good one. But at church and synagogue focus on attending places of worship that are also social. You might even do this in addition to the places you go now. Look for a church where they have like luncheons or dinners, that always gets people socializing. Or maybe additionally other types of gatherings that are church centered. Even if this means trying out a lot of different churches. Hope you live in a big area. Well good luck with it all!


I don't go to separately church and sinagoge. Rather I go to messianic sinagoge which combines the two. Or I go to sabbatarian churches (adventist and so forth) which is the same idea.


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## Jolese (Jan 4, 2005)

E*xample 1: If you enforce affirmative action you hurt interests of Whites, if you abolish it you hurt interest of blacks

Example 2: If you raize taxes you hurt interest of Whites if you lower taxes you hurt interest of blacks.

Bottom line: with limited resources the interests of any two groups compete against each other. Racial groups is a special case of it. *

Okay, got it! It's true, yes, on certain levels, yes. I understand. But I really do have to thank you for taking the time to frame it for me. I am no political expert, not by any means, but I have been trying to learn. This discussion kicked me off in another direction though, it helped me understand another issue crystal clearly. But that's a whole other ball of wax. It also added another book to my reading list, which is sorta semi-related, no actually not related at all, but interesting nonetheless. So thanks for the input!


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## Jolese (Jan 4, 2005)

causalset said:


> I don't go to separately church and sinagoge. Rather I go to messianic sinagoge which combines the two. Or I go to sabbatarian churches (adventist and so forth) which is the same idea.


My point though, is find a place of worship that has a social life. Where people gather and can talk, eat together, attend church related social events, and make social plans outside of church. Even if you have to attend a church that is outside of your normal faith. It's ok to do that.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

Jolese said:


> Okay, got it! It's true, yes, on certain levels, yes. I understand. But I really do have to thank you for taking the time to frame it for me. I am no political expert, not by any means, but I have been trying to learn. This discussion kicked me off in another direction though, it helped me understand another issue crystal clearly. But that's a whole other ball of wax. It also added another book to my reading list, which is sorta semi-related, no actually not related at all, but interesting nonetheless. So thanks for the input!


I am so glad that you liked my thoughts! So can you elaborate what direction did this lead you to think in, and what is the book you now want to read?



Jolese said:


> My point though, is find a place of worship that has a social life. Where people gather and can talk, eat together, attend church related social events, and make social plans outside of church. Even if you have to attend a church that is outside of your normal faith. It's ok to do that.


Seventh day Adventists have potlucks, but that doesn't help me at all since its not personal. I wish people were to invite me one on one somewhere and that never happens.


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## discoveryother (Sep 18, 2016)

causalset said:


> Example 1: If you enforce affirmative action you hurt interests of Whites, if you abolish it you hurt interest of blacks
> 
> Example 2: If you raize taxes you hurt interest of Whites if you lower taxes you hurt interest of blacks.
> 
> ...


affirmative action is only justifiable by seeing it as a scheme of retributive justice to punish the government and is done in the interests of everyone because the government is accountable for laws which disadvantaged people, and the beneficiaries of this penalty should be selected by the same criteria by which the disadvantaged people were historically selected. still sounds dodgy to me... agreed that its another form of racism. but also, here the indigenous language was banned in schools for a time. and the affirmative action was to teach the language in schools. now, some people don't see the point in learning it. but the government should have to make amends for what it did. otherwise governments could do what they like and get away with it. but it could be interpreted as racist by non-indigenous people. but its justice.

re tax: you are stereotyping that black people are poor. if you mean black people as in the colour, then its completely uncalled for. just to use this category is racist. you'd be assuming that black people all over the world share some defect or historical treatment or something, which is not true. if you mean that african americans are statistically poorer, then again, the wrong headed part is to refer to a group which is irrelevant. you're saying more tax = more money to the poor. poorness would be the relevant criteria for discrimination, not race. there are endless statistical correlations you could uncover - left handed people are poorer, so tax is against left handed people? it doesn't matter, irrelevant criteria. not every statistical correlation is something that needs to be corrected, and is not on its own an indication of wrongness.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

andy1984thesecond said:


> affirmative action is only justifiable by seeing it as a scheme of retributive justice to punish the government


How does it punish the government? The affirmative action is based on race, not on whether or not the kids have government connections. Seems like you are assuming most people in government are White but I thought you told me not to make racial assumptions?



andy1984thesecond said:


> re tax: you are stereotyping that black people are poor. if you mean black people as in the colour, then its completely uncalled for.


I didn't say all blacks are poor, I was talking about statistics. And any kind of political discourse is based on statistics. Now I do see your point: rural southerners are also poor, although they are predominantly white. But leftists who help the poor have blacks in mind, not rural southerners. Thats just political reality.


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## discoveryother (Sep 18, 2016)

causalset said:


> How does it punish the government? The affirmative action is based on race, not on whether or not the kids have government connections. Seems like you are assuming most people in government are White but I thought you told me not to make racial assumptions?
> 
> I didn't say all blacks are poor, I was talking about statistics. And any kind of political discourse is based on statistics. Now I do see your point: rural southerners are also poor, although they are predominantly white. But leftists who help the poor have blacks in mind, not rural southerners. Thats just political reality.


well for your first point, the only connection required is citizenship. all the citizens pay for their own government's mistake. therefore they make sure it doesn't make more mistakes. not everything is purely about race... this is what makes you seem/be racist. you're obsessed with irrelevant criteria.

idk what your leftists think about. all you americans are crazy so maybe you are correct... this is probably how trump thinks.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

andy1984thesecond said:


> well for your first point, the only connection required is citizenship. all the citizens pay for their own government's mistake.


Then you are talking about punishing all citizens, that is very different from punishing the government. And I disagree with punishing citizens for government mistakes since, at times, the government itself is exempt from said punishment, hence they end up just using citizens and not care.



andy1984thesecond said:


> not everything is purely about race... this is what makes you seem/be racist.


How can affirmative action not be about race if its explicit statement is about just that?



andy1984thesecond said:


> idk what your leftists think about. all you americans are crazy so maybe you are correct... this is probably how trump thinks.


Well, I am from Russia, although I immigrated to America. So I agree with you here. I also believe leftism is an example of American craziness, which is why I rebel against this by citing rightist views.


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## Jolese (Jan 4, 2005)

causalset said:


> I am so glad that you liked my thoughts! So can you elaborate what direction did this lead you to think in, and what is the book you now want to read?
> 
> Seventh day Adventists have potlucks, but that doesn't help me at all since its not personal. I wish people were to invite me one on one somewhere and that never happens.


I really don't care to discuss the first set of questions any further. It's kind of like a big jump my mind made. I don't know, it's nothing personal. I appreciate the inquiry, though.

Well if the Seventh Day Adventist gathering hasn't evolved into getting more personal, are there other places of worship you could try? Just basically a focus on social gathering as opposed to the worship itself. I have also heard that synagogue is very social oriented. Try different places is my point.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

Jolese said:


> I really don't care to discuss the first set of questions any further. It's kind of like a big jump my mind made. I don't know, it's nothing personal. I appreciate the inquiry, though.
> 
> Well if the Seventh Day Adventist gathering hasn't evolved into getting more personal, are there other places of worship you could try? Just basically a focus on social gathering as opposed to the worship itself. I have also heard that synagogue is very social oriented. Try different places is my point.


If it is activity held by something then by definition it's not personal. Don't you ****en get it?!


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## Jolese (Jan 4, 2005)

causalset said:


> If it is activity held by something then by definition it's not personal. Don't you ****en get it?!


I get it. But it starts out that way then ideally you meet people where it does become personal. The church gets together, or maybe someone invites you. You just have to keep putting yourself out there and keep trying.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

Jolese said:


> I get it. But it starts out that way then ideally you meet people where it does become personal. The church gets together, or maybe someone invites you. You just have to keep putting yourself out there and keep trying.


If church gets together its not personal. I want to be invited personally OUTSIDE of any get-togethers. And neither church nor sinagoge can force someone to do it. If they did, again it won't be personal.

I mean look there were few times someone invited me to their house. But they extended the invitation to everyone, not just me, which kinda made it pointless.


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## Jolese (Jan 4, 2005)

causalset said:


> If church gets together its not personal. I want to be invited personally OUTSIDE of any get-togethers. And neither church nor sinagoge can force someone to do it. If they did, again it won't be personal.


Are you understanding my point? My point is the more you go out there and try the more likely you are to succeed. You will get invited personally if you keep trying. There are many single people that attend church. They are looking to meet people. So keep trying!


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

Jolese said:


> Are you understanding my point? My point is the more you go out there and try the more likely you are to succeed. You will get invited personally if you keep trying. There are many single people that attend church. They are looking to meet people. So keep trying!


I *WERE* trying. For example, last Saturday night adventists had get together where they played baseball. Did it help me? Nope. And it wasn't the first time I tried. I been trying for the past few years. I am well aware there are single people that are looking. But they are not interested in me. That's what hurts so much: they are interested in everyone BUT me.


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## Jolese (Jan 4, 2005)

Keep trying Causal. My advice is not going to change. Keep trying and ask the community here at SAS for feedback just as you did before when you need further ideas.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

Jolese said:


> Keep trying Causal. My advice is not going to change. Keep trying and ask the community here at SAS for feedback just as you did before when you need further ideas.


You've got to be kidding me. People at the SAS community think I am a loser and won't help, as this thread amply demonstrates.


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