# blushing



## blinky000 (Oct 13, 2005)

i get embarrassed very easily but think i could cope with it if i didnt turn like a beetroot every time! its a vicious circle. i blush because im a little embarrassed but i get over that easily but then i get embarrassed because ive blushed and everyone knows im embarrassed so i blush more and the more i blush the more embarrassed i am so the more i blush! :fall can anyone help me get over this without the use of makeup? i want to get rid of the problem from the root rather than covering it up. if i could just get over this then i think i may have SA nailed :thanks


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## dust (May 12, 2005)

boy, wish I knew the answer to that one!


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## Melusine (Jun 19, 2004)

Usually it just takes a method of relaxation, and not focusing on physical symptoms, not worrying about blushing, that only makes it happen/worse. 
Hypnotherapy may be useful as well, and imaginging yourself not blushing perhaps..


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## NÃ¶liena (Oct 1, 2005)

ugh, I do that too, and it really sucks  clearing your mind of any thoughts about the blushing can help. It can be really hard to get your mind off it if you are really anxious, but it does start to get easier with time.


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## far3 (May 6, 2005)

stupid, stupid human function...serves no purpose really...


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## pm5kbebop (Oct 22, 2005)

oddly enough i dont seem to blush anymore,before it was a major problem...i wonder why i dont anymore...


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## missnat84 (Dec 31, 2004)

I blush all the time,and its so embarassing!

I remember once me and my boyfriend were sitting in a restaurant eating, he asked me what was my friends birthdate and i started getting the dates wrong and was getting anxious and tongue tied,and i knew i was going red because my face felt hot. I must of looked like a right fool

:hide ops


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

I blush so randomly, but it always happens when I am in a conversation for long enough. Yesterday at Thanksgiving I was talking to my sister's b/f about keyboards, and I blushed, but I wasn't lying or embarassed or anything. It's so humiliating. When I blush I realize how bad my anxiety actually is.... I realize what an unconfident wreck I am altogether. I usually blush at the height of uncertainty about what of what I'm talking about. I just feel really intense and I can feel my face getting all hot for at least 10 seconds. No one ever says anything, but I'm sure they do after I'm gone. That's why I want to move away from here and everyone I know... so no one knows this side of me, and then I can mess it up with everyone else I meet.


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## SpringViolet (Oct 23, 2005)

Me, I'm a recovering blusher.
There's this guy I work with, though, he blushes if you look at him, practically. And he's extremely fair so it shows up across the room! I'm sure he feels terrible, but it actually makes people like him better. You can hear them say so. Wonder why?
Of course, it gets him teased in front of people, but at least he's likable. Oh - this is not comforting, is it? It meant to be, but it's not coming through. Sorry.
Would it help if I told you I tend to forget my own name? 
I really do.


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## sprinter (Nov 22, 2003)

I've never had a big problem with blushing but I have an idea. Suppose you slash very cold water(or an ice pack etc.) on your face repeatedly and regularly and while concentrating on the feeling of it until it becomes deeply ingrained in your memory. Eventually maybe all you will have to do is think about the feeling of the cold water on your face and your face will feel cool. Do it when you feel blushing coming on and you might be able to cut it off. Just an idea.


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## F-Bomb (May 17, 2005)

I used to blush like crazy....Meds help that. The clonazepam does it for me, but I think those blood thinners (the name escapes me) help with blushing too....I don't know for sure though.


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## brokenlight (Mar 10, 2004)

When you notice you are blushing, tell yourself that it is okay if people see you blushing, and then try to put your focus on something else. There is a good chance someone will take it upon themselves to tell you that you are blushing, and maybe even ask why. However you choose to respond, just make your response and then continue to tell yourself that it is not a big deal that people saw you blushing, you can handle it. Try to then put your focus onto something else again. That helps a little.


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## pyramidsong (Apr 17, 2005)

sprinter said:


> I've never had a big problem with blushing but I have an idea. Suppose you slash very cold water(or an ice pack etc.) on your face repeatedly and regularly and while concentrating on the feeling of it until it becomes deeply ingrained in your memory. Eventually maybe all you will have to do is think about the feeling of the cold water on your face and your face will feel cool. Do it when you feel blushing coming on and you might be able to cut it off. Just an idea.


Like a Pavlovian trigger? That's a *great* idea, Sprinter! I'm going to try that.


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## forbsey (Sep 22, 2005)

pm5kbebop said:


> oddly enough i dont seem to blush anymore,before it was a major problem...i wonder why i dont anymore...


Same with me. I used to blush at simple things, like someone asking me the time! But it very rarely happens to me now.


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## becca (Dec 14, 2003)

I know that you've mentioned you don't want to use make up for the blushing...but let me tell you my story. my blushing was so bad since i was about 11 yrs old. I finally discovered concealer when I was 15. before concealer, I avoided my own friends half the time, avoided my own family! i couldn't even sit down at the table for a meal, and for some reason, particularly with my dad i blushed horribly. they all used to make fun of me. I missed so many days of school, couldn't even go shopping, wait on line at stores all bec of the stupid blushing. couldn't sit at restaurants at all - that was out of the question. But, as I began putting concealer on my face, i used it as a coping mechanism and eventually was able to focus on other things, like, actually being able to respond clearly to someone's question, wait on line knowing that nobody could see my face, eventually, and amazingly I improved because of the concealer. even though I still use it, and it has gotten to the point where I truly cannot leave the house without it, I can actually function in society on a normal level. most people wouldn't think that I have any sort of anxiety problem..all bec of a little make up. If you've never tried it..it's worth it. I don't blush like i used to. and my heart actually doesn't race as much in these moments. I've actuall forgotten what it's like to blush every moment of the day, it practically leaves my mind when I'm in a "blushing" situation. I hope I've given you some good advice to take with you. i truly know what you are going through and understand fully the extent of the pain and miserable torture that you live with every waking minute of your life. Good luck and be strong...it can change. Be well.


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## crazyg (Jun 18, 2005)

I used to blush more than I do now. But, that's not to say it's gone. Most people would say that I blush extremely easily still. The strange thing is that it doesn't bother me as much now. I'll only go really red if someone is deliberately trying to embarrass me.

I think my current job helped me alittle. The people there like to tease me and they think it's funny when I blush. But, I realized that they really don't think it's that big a thing when I do it. Sometimes, one of the guy's will say something just to get me to blush, but they don't do it in a mean way. 

They've even said that they realize it's because I have very fair skin. And, one of my co-workers said she has that alot too (though it's far less noticable). Most people are pretty sympathetic towards blushing and don't take it nearly as seriously as SA'ers think. I know it can still be a really embarrassing thing to have especially in some situations. But, it helps to realize that people are understanding and realize it's not a personality flaw or something, but just an involuntary reaction.

I'm sure there are ways of preventing yourself from blushing. But, usually it is automatic because our thoughts work so quickly. If we could slowly start to change those thoughts, I think that would help get rid of the blushing.


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## Swiftwind (Feb 5, 2005)

I've always had a problem with blushing, and it's so embarrassing! I turn bright red, and then everyone just has to let me know, which makes me more embarrassed. I feel my whole face burning up. I hate being in that situation.



forbsey said:


> I used to blush at simple things, like someone asking me the time!


That still happens to me sometimes, particularly if it's someone I don't know


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## blinky000 (Oct 13, 2005)

i blush more when i sort of know the person or if im likely to see them again. people that i dont know at all ill be fine with. ill try giving the makeup a go  the blushing is getting slightly better. im just trying not to think about it when i do blush and itll go away but if i keep dwelling on the fact that im red ill blush because im blushing. thanks for the help everyone


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## rebe89 (Jan 6, 2006)

I used to have a big problem with blushing and still do from time to time. I think what has helped me is to try and stay relaxed when I'm talking to someone. I focus on staying calm and picture my face not turning red. I look at the other person and see they're not blushing and try to copy that. Doesn't always work, but it has helped me alot.


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## brokenlight (Mar 10, 2004)

I don't blush that much anymore. The other day I was feeling awkward and started blushing. I'm pretty sure the guy I was talking to thinks I was flirting with him, because I was also acting shy. I just tried to put it out of my mind after that, too late to change what happened.


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## blush814 (Jan 15, 2006)

wow...i'm still new to this website but just to read everyones stories about blushing is like reading my own mind...isn't it a horrible cycle? u blush because of some unknown trigger, i know for me personally it has nothing to do with how comfortable i am, i could be talking to my own family or best friends and it just happens.....you know they see it, and that in turn triggers more blushing

Sometimes i just get so embarassed from the fact that i am blushing that i *look for any excuse to leave the situation.... which is the worst,* because i will say absolutely anything to leave the conversation.


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## Swiftwind (Feb 5, 2005)

The other night I went out to dinner with my mum and step-dad to this gourmet pizza restaurant. I orderd a potato pizza but asked for no onion and bacon on it, and then one of the waiters at the end of the night said to me in a friendly, joking kind of way "would you like more potatoes with that?" and I told him I was a vegetarian and he said to me "Are you on a potato diet?" and other stuff like that and I could just feel myself going red in the face! I tried to not get too flustered, and somehow it worked, because my step-dad said my cheecks only went pink (and usually my face goes bright red). I hate feeling embarrased over really silly things.


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## blinky000 (Oct 13, 2005)

the blushing is loads better now. i started using powder to cover up the fact that i was blushing. even though i still felt as though people could see me blushing but i kinda knew they didnt so it gradually went away. ive now weaned myself away from the make-up and im just not really blushing anymore. occassionally i go red over little things like when i got a question wrong in maths and my teacher came over to explain where i went wrong. usually that wouldnt bother me but for some reason it really did and for the first time in months i felt myself going proper red. but anyway, its all so good at the moment. i just had a nice long SOBER conversation with a guy i usually blush awfully around unless im drunk and i dont think i really did at all! fantastic!! SA is almost gone!


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## Person (Feb 1, 2006)

I never thought that I blushed. I don't think I show it in the face and now that I think about it--I don't really know what the real definition of blushing is. Red in the face?
I know when someone attractive walks by and looks at me--pays any attention to me--I'm done. I feel like I'm hanging upside down and my head is about to explode from all the pressure.


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## forwardtel (Oct 8, 2005)

*frappr map(add yourself here)*

If you blush a lot, and your anxiety causes it, click here. http://www.frappr.com/blushing . This map shows members who blush alot. making a profile is free; and pop up and spam free. you don't even have to put your real name, just a location so you can talk to people around your area.

see yah

forwardtel


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## shtim (Oct 16, 2005)

ive been analyzing my blushing alot the past couple of years and ive noticed that most of the time in the situation i do blush, is a time that most other people would be embarassed in also. they just dont have light skin and the blushing isen't so obvious. i dont blush as much now because im really conscious of those situations where someone is going out of their way to embarass me. i just turn around what they just said and embarass the other person before i start to blush. its almost like some kind of constant bizarre social battle. 

i think about it and i would never go out of my way to put someone in an awkward spot, like your example, saying "are you on an all potato diet?". why should we give them the satisfaction of seeing us blush? id much rather burn them back with a comment like "i bet you were one of those kids that never ate their vegetables". then theyd probably agree and thats when you say "yea it shows"


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## F-Bomb (May 17, 2005)

Completely off topic, but what the hell is a potato pizza?! By the way, I'm a vegetarian too!



Swiftwind said:


> The other night I went out to dinner with my mum and step-dad to this gourmet pizza restaurant. I orderd a potato pizza but asked for no onion and bacon on it, and then one of the waiters at the end of the night said to me in a friendly, joking kind of way "would you like more potatoes with that?" and I told him I was a vegetarian and he said to me "Are you on a potato diet?" and other stuff like that and I could just feel myself going red in the face! I tried to not get too flustered, and somehow it worked, because my step-dad said my cheecks only went pink (and usually my face goes bright red). I hate feeling embarrased over really silly things.


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## missnat84 (Dec 31, 2004)

BeNice said:


> I blush so randomly, but it always happens when I am in a conversation for long enough. Yesterday at Thanksgiving I was talking to my sister's b/f about keyboards, and I blushed, but I wasn't lying or embarassed or anything. It's so humiliating. When I blush I realize how bad my anxiety actually is.... I realize what an unconfident wreck I am altogether. I usually blush at the height of uncertainty about what of what I'm talking about. I just feel really intense and I can feel my face getting all hot for at least 10 seconds. No one ever says anything, but I'm sure they do after I'm gone. That's why I want to move away from here and everyone I know... so no one knows this side of me, and then I can mess it up with everyone else I meet.


That sounds so much like me. It sucks being so unconfident :afr


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## jobro (Feb 4, 2006)

I'm over 50yrs old and I still blush during one on one conversations with someone. I hate it ...Talking to an authority figure is the worse...even if they are 20 years younger than me. I even blush when talking to someone on the phone. People always ask me if I'm alright...they think I'm having a hypertensive crisis.

I took Paxil for a short time and the blushing stopped entirely...I had to stop taking it because I couldn't stay awake or speak in full sentences while on even a low dose.


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## Secretive (Feb 5, 2006)

blinky000 said:


> i get embarrassed very easily but think i could cope with it if i didnt turn like a beetroot every time! its a vicious circle. i blush because im a little embarrassed but i get over that easily but then i get embarrassed because ive blushed and everyone knows im embarrassed so i blush more and the more i blush the more embarrassed i am so the more i blush! :fall can anyone help me get over this without the use of makeup? i want to get rid of the problem from the root rather than covering it up. if i could just get over this then i think i may have SA nailed :thanks


I hate it to it's always been a problem for me for all my life. I feel like a small child then I beat upon myself cause it happens like I let it happen which is stupid cause can't control it. I know people notice it cause they will say 'oh look how red she is' which duh don't help. I will have to try and get it out of my mind but when your face is flushed and hot hard to do so & you can't get it out of your mind.


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## Hot Competition (Jul 7, 2010)

*Hi*

Read my comments on the other blushing topics on here about beta blockers. They will stop you blushing completely but there are side effects and not all doctors know about them used for that purpose. my doctor even started taking them when I told him about them as he was shy and had to go to court cases and stuff. They have side effects though although I have taken them for meetings for years. Think they slow my heart rate too much though and you can't take them if you have asthma. Read read read.

I do exactly the same thing though and it is suffering.

Where did you get your thud smiley it's a ripper.


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## donavan (Jun 23, 2010)

blinky000 said:


> i get embarrassed very easily but think i could cope with it if i didnt turn like a beetroot every time! its a vicious circle. i blush because im a little embarrassed but i get over that easily but then i get embarrassed because ive blushed and everyone knows im embarrassed so i blush more and the more i blush the more embarrassed i am so the more i blush! :fall can anyone help me get over this without the use of makeup? i want to get rid of the problem from the root rather than covering it up. if i could just get over this then i think i may have SA nailed :thanks


a comination of a hypnosis cd and something called ''the willingness factor'' can overcome this problem at the root

this problem is run by the unconcious mind therefore a hypnosis cd can work wonders for it. the best one ive tried is by joseph clough, just google him and find his website, i think the cd is called ''no more blushing '' or something like that . joseph used to blush himself but now he is confortable teaching nlp infront of groups of people

ill explain the willingness factor to you know. have you ever seen the episode of friends called ''the one were nobodys ready''? . if not watch it cos its a perfect example of the willingness factor in action. ill give a breif explanation of the episode anyway :

_ross has got some sort of wroks presentation thing that him and the gang are supposed to be going to that night. anyway ross is ready to go all dressed up in his suit and has ordered a taxi for him and the gang, which is diue in about 20 mins. the only problemn is nobody is ready, theyll all sitting round , not dressed, wathcing tv, making phone calls etc... . ross is obviously very worried and stressed out becasue he thinks he is going to be late. he has a lot of trouble with the guys trying to get them to get ready and this gets ross worked up even more. then his girlfriend rachel does the typical girl thing and says ''which dress should i were the blue one , the red one '' etc...etc.... and ross blows up at her and speaks to her badly. so rachel then sits at the table in her nightgown and starts knitting or reading a book or something before telling ross she is staying home instead of going to his work do.
ross begs and pleads with her to get ready and come with him tonight but she still refuses. ross then says ''please ill do anything'' which prompts one of the guys to say ''he could drink the fat''. there is a glass full of fat in the fridge and rachel says that if ross drinks the fat she will get dressed and go with him tonight. ross agrees. he picks up the glass and he is 100% committed to drinking the whole lot, he has made up his mind and he is playing no games, as far as he is concerned he is gonna drink it. just as he is about to throw it down his neck rachel stops him and says '' alright you dont have to do it, ill go out with you tonight, i cant beleive you were actually going to do that''

_its a funny storie. the way it works is being willing to do something is just as good as doing it. if you are 100% committed to doing something then you would have done it. when you are willing to do something you dont have to do it cos you would have done it anyway. ross was willing to drink the fat , he would have drank it theres no question about that, and for rachel that was as cgood as him actually doing it

when you feel yourself about to blush just be willing to let it happen, dont fight it, just accept it. be willing to be embaarassed infact invite, trying and make it even worse, try and force the blushing to get worse. if you are willing for it to happen chances are it wont. the more you try and stop something from happening the more chance there is of it happening

but remember you cannot play games here. you cannot pretend to be willing. it doesnt work like that. you have to be 100% willing for it to happen, as far as you are concerned you ARE going to go red infront of everyone.


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## cblack (Jul 15, 2010)

Wow, i am so glad someone else blushes too. I have SA, and i go bright red too. Any time someone comes over and talks to me, or im having to talk infront of the class, or something like that, i just turn tomato red :S its so embarassing, and that just makes me panic and makes me go red even more..
And then, i panic about going red, and it just continues in this massive circle, which is ending no where.


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## NVU (Jul 1, 2010)

Do all beta blockers have to be prescribed by a doctor, or are there ones not as strong you can buy at a pharmacy?

I found a website that's a sells meds, it's an online pharmacy. You can buy meds that don't need a prescription for, but obviously they're not going to be as strong as some of the meds you can get off your doc.


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## kingfoxy (Oct 18, 2009)

:blushsome people think blushing is cute


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## Rouge (Mar 5, 2012)

Heya,

I always had a problem blushing too. I have tried all sorts of things! But nothing seems to work. I thought it might have been histadelia to begin with so I tried that protocol taking all of the vitamins and it seemed to work for about 2 months and I felt really in control of my face but now I'm back to square one again. I did go to a nutrionist who found that I had low cortisol levels. Which is pretty much 21st centure burn out. So I have been going to bed at 9.30pm every night as much as I can and have stopped with the caffeine, that has helped loads - I still blush alot but it is not as chronic. 

I would like to try a hypnotherapist but not got the cash to yet.


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## Rouge (Mar 5, 2012)

p.s. has anyone tried the above by Joseph Clough?


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## Si Guy (Dec 9, 2011)

The best way to beat blushing is to accept it as a natural occurence. Darwin devoted some time expounding upon the occurence of the blush as an important trait evolutionarily speaking. People who blush are often seen as more trustworthy, humble and empathetic to others. Those traits are all crucial to developing quality relationships. Therefore, blushing only is a problem if you think of it as one. See it as a positive and it will become one, or may even disappear entirely! CBT can help with this!


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## Rouge (Mar 5, 2012)

Hi Si Guy,

thanks for responding. You are damn right! It is difficult though when you blush excessively at everyone and your face becomes so hot, the overwhelming urge and physiological response is to hide your face, speak as quickly as possible and get the social interaction over with. The stress that comes with this enhances it in a feedback loop. I do have lots of friends and they are good long lasting friendships, which fits with Darwin's theory of blushing. It's just so difficult to tone it down and accept it when it occurs everytime somebody even looks at you.

Any ideas on where to start with CBT? Any links to any websites that you think might be useful?

Many thanks


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## babylemonade (Nov 24, 2011)

Kinda easier for women to deal with cos they can buy concealer or powder. What are guys meant to do?


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