# Imitation is not flattering, it's annoying!



## sorandom (Jul 16, 2013)

My best friend is always copying me. I'm 34 and she's a bit younger. Because o of my social anxiety, I don't have a lot of friends. And that's fine because it always seems like friends just bring drama around. On to what is frustrating me. I have been into photography for a few years. I've been friends with a girl for about 2 years now. She's awesome, mostly except for the fact that she all of a sudden has gotten into photography. She is creative in other ways and I'm not. So I kind of feel like she is "taking" photography away from me. If she had been into photography when we met, it would not bother me. But it's almost like she has to prove she can be better at me. I don't try to compete with her on things she's good at. So I don't know why she does it to me. She's always sending me photos asking what I think. I mean they aren't bad but they aren't good. But I don't tell her what I really think because I don't want to make her mad. And she's always critiquing my photos or wanting me to change things with them. If she was a seasoned photographer, I would have no problem taking her suggestions. But she literally just started out. I wonder how she would feel if I started critiquing her work and things she's good at (sewing). I don't know a lot about it so it would be out of line for me to say anything. Also, I wonder how she would feel if I started sewing this week and then next week, I started up a business selling what I made. She probably wouldn't be too happy about it. 

I am currently taking a photography course and today she asked where she could sign up. It just really annoyed me. I just wish for once, people would stick to what they are good at and stop competing with me. I know it may sound childish, but that's the way I feel. I just wish people would learn to treat people the way they want to be treated.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

hmmm yeah I get what you mean. I remember in high school when girls would copy everything I would do to myself when it would come to physical appearance. It was like they were following me and I was just like please be yourselves ladies.


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## sorandom (Jul 16, 2013)

Paloma M said:


> hmmm yeah I get what you mean. I remember in high school when girls would copy everything I would do to myself when it would come to physical appearance. It was like they were following me and I was just like please be yourselves ladies.


Exactly! There was another girl who started doing the same thing to me. I was friends with her for years though and she always tried to compete with me in everything. The last thing was photography. She was never interested in it until she found out I was. She pretended to be my friend to my face, but I later found out that she was badmouthing me behind my back saying things like I wasn't a good photographer and how she was going to try to trademark my business name so that I couldn't use it. So I guess with my current friend, I'm afraid she'll try to do the same thing. I just wish my friend would understand that photography is not something you become good at over night. And I taught myself most of what I know and read articles online and she just expects me to hand over all of my sources. I'm thinking "Nope, I had to do it on my own, so you should too!" LOL

I'm a very non confrontational person though so I usually don't tell people how I feel. So then it gets all bottled up and then I just explode over the smallest things. I'm trying to learn not to do that though. It's just difficult though because I don't like when people are mad at me.


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## LolaViola (Jun 23, 2013)

I totally get how annoying that can be. When I was an art major in high school, people continuously tried to jock my style. Haha. I did have a cool, unique way of creating art and my teacher often put me in the spotlight, praising my work like I was Van Gogh or something. So she drew a lot of unwanted attention to me from classmates. I can remember them sitting next to me, gazing at every single move I made, every mark of my pencil, every stroke of my brush, trying to mimic my technique. Students kept asking me "how do you do this and how did you do that?" In a way, I was somewhat flattered, but at the same time I was thinking to myself, "Come on, chill out dudes. I'm good but I'm not _that _good. Come up with your own freaking style for Pete's sake." Lol


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## Just Here (Jul 16, 2013)

If she your friend you should be able to tell her what you think. Holding back will do nether of you any good. I not saying that you should put her down but keeping it honest and sincere should help. I also had friends that copy what I do. Don't like it but can think of lot worst thing they could do.


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

Here's the thing it sounds like she wants to be close to you. So that might be why she wants to take the course with you. 

I know I do things because I want to be closer to my friends that I might not otherwise take part in. However it's not about competing. I'll watch TV shows I normally wouldn't have given a chance if friends are watching them, so we can bond over it. I will try sports that I am skeptical about in hopes that I'll like it and it can be bonding time. Half the time what motivates me to get to the gym is not my health but that I get to have the shared pain/experience with my friends who I am meeting there. 


That said, silently resenting her isn't going to fix how you are feeling. If you can't accept it and you won't talk to her about it this is going to eat away at your relationship. If she knew that talking about photography with you bothered you so much maybe she would dial it back.


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