# I'm extremely arrogant.



## Xeros (Oct 19, 2006)

I'm 22 and literally have no contact outside of my family. Other than my severe fear of social situations, I also have this insane arrogance.

Every person I meet,I think I'm better than. More intelligent for the most part.

I honestly think that I'm smarter than 95% of the people out there, and nearly every one I meet. I can't help it. I'm not outwardly arrogant, I'm smart enough to know to act modest, but on the inside I find myself making fun of people.


Usually this means that I find every person I meet to be a waste of time. I don't want to hang out with some moron, or date some girl who I can't have an intelligent conversation with.


I don't think it's something I can really fix aside from some severe head trauma knocking me back a few notches.


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## mranxiousguy1 (May 4, 2010)

good comping mechnaisme ore else you should feel like you inferior to other people ... and I think the your coping mechanisme is the best


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

I have the same problem, i feel i have to 'dumb myself down' to be able to adapt to social situations, otherwise i will struggle to fit in.

I know im smarter and more knowledgeable than most people i meet, yet that doesnt stop people looking down on me. And for that reason i can swing from superiority complex to inferiority complex at the drop of a hat.


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## RJF (Mar 29, 2010)

I find myself wondering why you've made this thread. Did you make it because you view your narcissistic complex as something unhealthy, or did you make it so that others would affirm your world view? Your statement about how you don't believe that you can "fix" this problem would lead me to believe the former of the two suggested possibilities; please correct me if I'm wrong. 

Of course, your apparent unwillingness to change is demonstrated by that comment as well. You're so far above the rest of us that the only way you'd be able to get along with people is by suffering some sort of severe trauma to the brain? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're deluding yourself. Quite a bit, in fact. 

One of the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD for short) is having an unfaltering belief in your own abilities without having any experiences to back said belief up. You claim to be so intelligent, yet I ask you - what have you contributed to the world? What advances have you spurred forth in the fields of science, art, music or literature? 

So far as I'm aware, you have no evidence to support your claims of superior intelligence. Even taking an IQ test and being certified as a genius gives you no right to look down upon the world - there's millions of people who qualify to join Mensa and other high-IQ societies. If you're so dissatisfied with ordinary people, go and visit the Mensa website, pay the fees, take an IQ test, and associate yourself with people who would be more at your level. Assuming that you'd even qualify to join. 

With no ground to stand on except your own admitted arrogance, where do you get off espousing superiority over 95% of the population? What makes you so special? Honestly. 

If you haven't done anything to prove your intellectual worth, then there's no use in believing in it. Narcissistic personality disorder (I'm using that as a reference; this is the Internet, and I can't diagnose somebody I've never met) affects a relatively large portion of the worldwide human population, and virtually all of those affected think the exact same way as you. That they're better than everybody, or at least better than *most* everybody. And, you know, they're just taking a guess that there's people out there who are more intelligent, more beautiful, or more talented than them. They haven't actually been able to find anybody that fits the criteria. But still. 

I'm sure you have reasons for feeling the way that you do. I'm sure that you go through each and every day struggling to hold a conversation, simply because the majority of us simians are unfit to be in your presence. 

Seriously. Social ineptitude does not equate to unparalleled genius and/or brilliance. It only translates to you having an inability to carry on a conversation. 

In conjunction with your isolation, you're building up a a wall against the world (and hiding behind it). Rather than confronting your demons, you've decided to lie to yourself, reassuring your conscience that you're only the way that you are because other people made you that way. To be honest, you're not doing much more than putting on a show to conceal your deep-rooted sense of inferiority. 

To reiterate, go out into the world, meet more people. That's the best chance of overcoming your particular personality quirk. Chances are, you'll eventually find somebody you respect. Maybe that respect can be spread around to be all-inclusive.


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## Misanthropic (Jun 25, 2010)

I don't think I'm smarter than most people. My problem is being morally judgemental, which is ironic since I believe that free will is an illusion. I'm convinced that most people lack the most basic empathy skills, if they're not outright cruel and malicious, they're thoughtless and inconsiderate. How other people justify their behavior in their minds is beyond me.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

Just so you're aware, arrogance is a _huge _turnoff for a large number of females.


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## Misanthropic (Jun 25, 2010)

Perfectionist, RJF,

He's just venting. It's how he feels. He recognizes that there's something wrong with thinking he's better than other people, that's why he started the thread.

He can't snap his fingers and magically stop feeling the way he does.


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

I would be the other way round


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## RJF (Mar 29, 2010)

Misanthropic said:


> Perfectionist, RJF,
> 
> He's just venting. It's how he feels. He recognizes that there's something wrong with thinking he's better than other people, that's why he started the thread.
> 
> He can't snap his fingers and magically stop feeling the way he does.


I wouldn't care nearly as much if it didn't seem like he were trying to justify all of it.

Admitting there's something wrong is one thing.


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## Misanthropic (Jun 25, 2010)

RJF said:


> I wouldn't care nearly as much if it didn't seem like he were trying to justify all of it.
> 
> Admitting there's something wrong is one thing.


It didn't bother me because I thought it was probably a defense mechanism.


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## Xeros (Oct 19, 2006)

Misanthropic said:


> Perfectionist, RJF,
> 
> He's just venting. It's how he feels. He recognizes that there's something wrong with thinking he's better than other people, that's why he started the thread.
> 
> He can't snap his fingers and magically stop feeling the way he does.


Pretty much.

I posted a problem that I see in myself. It's what this forum is for and people post threads like this every day with various personality traits other than arrogance. I don't know why he seemed to be offended by it.

And to the person who said arrogance is a turnoff. I know, I'm not outwardly arrogant, quite the opposite. I know that acting humble is generally a good way to get people to like/trust you. So I do that. In my head, however, I'm thinking the complete opposite/


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## RJF (Mar 29, 2010)

Right; all I did was what somebody should have done to me a long time ago. 

Once upon a time, I wasn't that much different from you. That's probably why I seemed offended. Issues close to the heart tend to bring out either the best or the worst in people, although in this instance all you got was a slightly emotional me. 

I changed (a lot), but I ruined a lot of things by thinking that I was better than other people.


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## sansd (Mar 22, 2006)

I know I'm more intelligent (in the way measured by IQ tests) than the vast majority of people I meet, but I don't think that makes me "better" than they are. I don't think intelligence is the sole or main determinant of worth.



RJF said:


> You claim to be so intelligent, yet I ask you - what have you contributed to the world? What advances have you spurred forth in the fields of science, art, music or literature?


When I was 15, my therapist gave me a letter of advice she'd received regarding another patient she'd had. It began, "So he's got a high I.Q. So what? Nobody but his Mommy and Daddy cares."



> To reiterate, go out into the world, meet more people. That's the best chance of overcoming your particular personality quirk. Chances are, you'll eventually find somebody you respect. Maybe that respect can be spread around to be all-inclusive.


"Let him get his butt whipped now and then by individuals with skills other than his own, enough that his superiority and arrogance are attenuated."


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## robotaffliction (Jul 24, 2009)

totally, i mean everyone is really judgmental. even if they know you are way smarter than them, they will judge you for being less fashionable, or less cool, or less part of their 'subculture', etc... people always find some criteria to judge worth where they stack up favorably, and then apply that in their lives. i think it just means u have to go try to find different people in new places and search harder for people who aren't going to judge you and are more compatible with you on whatever level you are looking for.. dont be discouraged!


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Xeros said:


> Usually this means that I find every person I meet to be a waste of time. I don't want to hang out with some moron, or date some girl who I can't have an intelligent conversation with.


Have you been to college? Believe me, there are plenty of girls like you who have this complex you're describing. One of my project partners was extremely arrogant with me for not being up to par with her :afr...School is FILLED with these girls....

Oh wait...there's you're problem
-


Xeros said:


> I'm 22 and literally have no contact outside of my family.


But if you look you will find plenty


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

let me see... who have i come across with that i think is smarter than myself?

no one... this is you being born in the wrong place. don’t make yourself feel like you need to lower your standards just so you can fit in with the rest. no. don’t lower your standards just might be living in the wrong place. it will pay off eventually. the people who see you as weird right now will be working for you in the future. don’t, ever, lower yourself down to fit in. for any female.

there is such a thing as being smarter than other people. forget them, think about yourself only. the other people are only thinking about them selves anyway. 

just think about your future, and when you have the money and stability, you can lower your intelligence down and get along with the less intelligent. i know it sounds cruel and inhumane, but is the truth. 

unless you want to get along with people who you think are lower than you than loose yourself, loose your future, and change your core beliefs. 

money makes the world go round plain and simple. 

what are your goals in life? ignore the rest. once you start making money the rest become slaves... it is true. sometimes it is ok not to have friends cus friend are needy. they take your energy and are stingy. 

when have you noticed a friend that wants to help you? no where. 

it is ok to feel this way. keep going forward. friends are nothing special. 

if you need someone to talk to, manipulate. it's the truth. but you will need a second half.

i need another drink though.


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

let me think back when i was a teen...

a lot of "mature" people use to tell me that it was not ok to fight, but they never told me it was ok to defend myself. 

a lot of people use to tell me that it was not ok to make fun of people but they never told me that it was ok defend myself from these bullies. 

i don't know what made me not follow the "advice" from these mature people but i just followed my heart. it ended up showing that my heart was right than the "advice".

it is complicated but the world is not paradise. one needs to make it. 

just follow your core beliefs... females or "friends" are a dime a dozen. that is if you can handle the journey. if not, never mind.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

mrfixit, your thinking is very disturbing :\


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

^ yeah cus you are a female, young, and materialistic.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

mrfixit said:


> no. don't lower your standards just might be living in the wrong place. it will pay off eventually. the people who see you as weird right now will be working for you in the future. don't, ever, lower yourself down to fit in. for any female.





> there is such a thing as being smarter than other people.* forget them, think about yourself only. *the other people are only thinking about them selves anyway.





> what are your goals in life? ignore the rest.* once you start making money the rest become slaves*... it is true. sometimes it is ok not to have friends cus friend are needy. *they take your energy and are stingy. *
> 
> when have you noticed a friend that wants to help you? no where.
> 
> ...





mrfixit said:


> a lot of people use to tell me that it was not ok to make fun of people but they never told me that it was ok defend myself from these bullies.
> 
> i don't know what made me not follow the "advice" from these mature people but i just followed my heart. it ended up showing that my heart was right than the "advice".
> 
> ...


I am really sorry if you were bullied in the past, but this is not how reality is. It makes me very sad actually, that some people have come to this point in their lives...The OP was talking about arrogance, which I can relate to, I am a narcissist myself, but you are in a whole other dimension. :cry

There is nothing greater than true friendship in this world.

I'm a bit confused..you just called me materialistic, but know nothing of me, and yet your whole post talks of money and success???


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## kos (May 19, 2009)

95% of the people you meet probably think you're socially retarded so that completely nullifies any form of intelligence you claim to have. 95% of people probably think they're better then you. (mods, that was a constuctive comment not a personal attack, so **** off with your infractions.)


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

calichick,

please, you haven't been in front of your dad hitting your mom thinking he was going to kill her. 

you haven't been in front of your dad with a rope around your brother/sister's neck while he is pulling on it trying to choke him/her cus "dad" thought he/she was being a "bad" son/daughter. 

i just posted what i have experienced in life. i have had "friends" who would give their life's for me. i have had friends who would back me up if someone wanted to kick my as*, but it is not the same as having a true friends. those friends do not exists. "friends" only want to take a part of you. they are stingy and only focus on themselves. the only reason they follow you is cus you make them feel comfortable. so they are weak to me. they should be label as weak cus they only want to take and not give. tell me what friend gives?

true friendship is fake. i know this from experience and from others. but i don't want to explain it cus to explain it i need to explain how to avoid it. to avoid it is not to be a female, which you are. 

tell me what friend has benefit you in anyway?

i know you are materialistic cus you are a female. a female looking for a male who is tall and good looking who has money = materialistic. tell me it is not true?

it is not the same to not focus on pleasing "friends" or "GF's" cus to do that is is to not be in control. 

c'mon, i'm 32 and a 20 yr old telling me what's right please.. just stay out of my business.


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## BeatingSAwithastick (Jan 6, 2009)

Misanthropic said:


> I don't think I'm smarter than most people. My problem is being morally judgemental, which is ironic since I believe that free will is an illusion. I'm convinced that most people lack the most basic empathy skills, if they're not outright cruel and malicious, they're thoughtless and inconsiderate. How other people justify their behavior in their minds is beyond me.


Heh join the club. I am in the same boat. It seems these days having a conscience is to be anti-social. People seem to get away with bullying and stabbing others in the back as long as they have social skills. The victims keep falling for the same tricks again and again. It's utterly idiotic.

Maybe I just need a change of scenery, I don't know, but working in logistics, I have met alot of manipulative, selfish and immoral people, maybe that is why they are working in a warehouse, I certainly hope that is the case...


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

mrfixit said:


> tell me what friend has benefit you in anyway?


Why do you keep making assumptions? I don't have a father. My mom is a single parent who worked two jobs. I come from a broken home. We can talk about this all day long.

Again, I'm very sorry you feel this way about friendship, but the OP is 22. He is around my age. No need to force this "friendship is fake," "everyone around you is selfish" "do what you can, don't worry about others" "manipulate, manipulate, manipulate" "females are a dime a dozen" "they will be slaves in the future for you" BS. It's absolutely *ridiculous*..

You are posting on a public forum, (it's no longer your personal business), maybe if you don't want people to discuss what advice your giving, then don't post it?????



> i know you are materialistic cus you are a female. a female looking for a male who is tall and good looking who has money = materialistic. tell me it is not true?


No. Just no. :stu I would rather be happy than have all the money in the world.

That's a fact now.


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## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

I felt similarly, but I released my frustrations on my friends. I would criticize things they liked, sometimes legitimately, other times just to be anal. I still hate a lot of the things they like- such as Sex in the City and Dawson's Creek and a whole slew of other crappy, melodramatic, materialistic corn feed for the masses, but for more harmless things I try to excersize some restraint, because even if what they're watching (endlessly) is garbage- not everyone wants to hear your complaints.

I try to walk a fine line between refusing to indulge in disgusting b.s. and accepting less harmful, but equally stupid cultural norms, haha. It's only fair. I have to accept that they're different people with different values and differen't positive attributes than my own.

For instance- I'd kill for my friend's sociability and I'm sure it's pretty frustrating to be around me when I can hardly speak do to brief sharp anxiety attacks that make everyone feel awkward, including myself.


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## apartment7 (Aug 25, 2007)

When I was younger I was quite arrogant in my thinking but like the OP, not in my behaviour. 

As I've grown older (now 36) I've realised what a harmful and isolating attitude it was for me. If you assume intellectual superiority over other people you tend to dismiss what they have to say and feel them unworthy of challenging your views and beliefs. It's also easy to make false assumptions about them, usually negative ones. 

I'm glad I changed my ways otherwise I'd have missed out on a lot of the stuff that makes us mature as people. I've still got a long way to go but I'm not stuck in some narrow minded self absorbed rut anymore.


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## Inst8 (Jun 21, 2009)

Am i the only one who noticed that arrogant people (or at least guys) are usually oversensitive? They act arrogant because they don't want to look like some pitiful "losers".


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## RJF (Mar 29, 2010)

Inst8 said:


> Am i the only one who noticed that arrogant people (or at least guys) are usually oversensitive? They act arrogant because they don't want to look like some pitiful "losers".


 It's a great, big defense mechanism. They're repressing all of their self-doubts by fixating on how perfect, talented, or skilled they are, and how unworthy everybody else around them is.


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## nox (May 18, 2010)

mrfixit, you sound like a psychopath.


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## sociallyretarded (Aug 3, 2010)

I'm a pretty big elitist as well, but I don't really show it. I know it's delusional, but it makes me feel better, and isn't really hurting anyone else.


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## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

The truly better person has empathy and appreciates the strengths of others.


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> ﻿ mrfixit, you sound like a psychopath.


yeah it does sound like it. i was actually irritated (argument at home) and typing while drunk. that's why you need to say no to drinking.

there's a lot of truth in what i wrote though...

in my very fist post i'm just trying to say that there's absolutely nothing wrong with feeling the way the OP feels. i know cus i feel the same way, not because i want to but cus it just shows from the people i have met, people i know. i haven't met one single person that i feel who is smarter than me, not book smart or trade skill smart but smart in general. i'm not just speaking cus i have a mouth. in fact, i have noticed that most of people think they know something when they actually don't. they feel like they are better than everyone else when in reality, they are blind (ignorance is bliss). when have you met anyone that feels they are not better than everyone else (out side this forum that is)? they are not going to tell you this, but if you pay close attention, arrogance it just reeks out from them.

in my second post i tried to say the same, again, that "friends" come by themselves. that i didn't follow adults advise but i just went with my heart. following my heart is what is getting me through life. again, just follow the heart and it is ok to feel arrogant. the key thing is that not to talk about it. (what everyone else does). and friends just come by themselves, you don't look for them. hard to explain.

you want to see how a lot of people don't see the turht? the OP is a good example. his arrogance does not compare with what society sees as arrogant. it's obvious. the OP probably used the wrong word (arrogance) to describe his feelings but i don't just go by words. do you even know the definition of arrogance? and do you know 100% sure what the OP posted is arrogance?

in my third post i was just saying that a female will never understand a guys mind.

my fourth post was fueled cus of assumptions "﻿I am really sorry if you were bullied in the past,". i was bullied alright (like everyone else has) but that was nothing to me. it is not the reason i feel the way i feel.

don't judge a book by it's cover. read my other posts and come up with your own conclusion. if you cannot do that, that is not smart.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

mrfixit said:


> let me see... who have i come across with that i think is smarter than myself?
> 
> no one... this is you being born in the wrong place. don't make yourself feel like you need to lower your standards just so you can fit in with the rest. no. don't lower your standards just might be living in the wrong place. it will pay off eventually. the people who see you as weird right now will be working for you in the future. don't, ever, lower yourself down to fit in. for any female.
> 
> ...


Mate this is really poor advice, I am guessing that you are 32, multimillionaire now lowering your intelligence to fit in with the common to find a 'mate' and have a couple of friends. If not then you arent really as smart as you claim to be and your own game plan has failed you. If I was as smarts as you claim to be and so money hungry as you obviously are, I would want to be retired by 32 and trying to work out how to appeal to the opposite sex. Because I can tell you now with your attitude towards women no one would touch you, even the gold diggers would pass up the chance at easy money.

Friends... I have ones which will help me. Hell I will drop anything for friends. You have to give to get.



mrfixit said:


> let me think back when i was a teen...
> 
> a lot of "mature" people use to tell me that it was not ok to fight, but they never told me it was ok to defend myself.
> 
> ...


I am really sorry that you had a tough childhood and life. But blame the bullies, dont sit here and blame the world. Dont tell this guy that he should turn his back on the world and treat everyone else like dirt. That will get him nowhere.



mrfixit said:


> ^ yeah cus you are a female, young, and materialistic.


I am a guy, I am young, I am not as smart as you and have less money then you. But I would not trade places with you. I am glad you think your life and yourself is so much greater then everyone else. You can keep it.

And the they will be working for you one day comment. If I walked in and had a boss like you I would quit on the spot, no amount of money is worth putting up with someone with your values and attitude. I doubt many people would stand for it.


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## diablo9199 (Aug 9, 2010)

I kind of see where Mrfixit is coming from. Humans are by nature animals, and a lot of people seem to forget that. Our basic motivations for life stem from our instincts: nourishment, shelter, and sex. It may be a little extreme to say that friendship is fake, but there is some element of truth to it. After being introduced to some illicit substances (can you guess which ones by looking at my avatar?), I'd like to think I have a more understanding view of our culture and society, almost like I'm an unbiased spectator merely observing human interaction. I've realized that many actions by people are for self-benefit, directly or indirectly. Everyone is selfish, some more than others. It's a necessary part of life. From my experience, even the deepest of relationships are rooted around how you can benefit from it. 

Just my 2 cents... my views may be a little warped but I've done a lot of thinking on it. Still a lot more to do.


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> Mate this is really poor advice, I am guessing that you are 32, multimillionaire now lowering your intelligence to fit in with the common to find a 'mate' and have a couple of friends. If not then you arent really as smart as you claim to be and your own game plan has failed you. If I was as smarts as you claim to be and so money hungry as you obviously are, I would want to be retired by 32 and trying to work out how to appeal to the opposite sex. Because I can tell you now with your attitude towards women no one would touch you, even the gold diggers would pass up the chance at easy money.
> 
> Friends... I have ones which will help me. Hell I will drop anything for friends. You have to give to get.


is all good. i understand what you are trying to tell me. i have a problem that i do not know how to "sugar coat" my advice. i just speak bluntly. but most people do not understand blunt, they like it sugar coated. though blunt and sugar coated are the same thing. so i'll admit that, i lack that big time.

now, what i wrote it's not really that serious. i'm just speaking bluntly but i can guarantee that if i was to sugar coat it, you would not act the same.

let me see if i can try to explain it... this is what you put in bold for emphasis.

NOTE TO SELF: I REALLY NEED TO LEARN HOW TO SUGAR COAT.

﻿


> ﻿forget them, think about yourself only.
> 
> ﻿lower your intelligence down
> 
> ...


lets take the first one "forget them, think about yourself only." ok, tell me right now, who are you thinking about helping at this very moment. knowing that there are people out there needing help? or who have you thought about helping other than yourself in the past month? plus have you actually helped anyone. not with, "it will be ok" but with words and actions. have you helped your friend?

lets take the other bold phrase in consideration "﻿lower your intelligence down". have you tried to be smarter than everyone else. or should i say, do you show your smartness in public, literally? if you come across a co-worker who cannot understand something but you can, are you going to point that out or are you going to take note in you mind and say "wow, this guy is an idiot" BUT lower your intelligence to be polite?

the next bold sentence "money makes the world go round plain and simple." like i said, a friend is not for your best interest, sure friends have good time (they have their purpose, but one should not just focus on that) but the friend who ends up at top is the one who takes control. tell your friend, "i need to move to another state to go to one of the top universities, i got accepted." the friend is only going to be thinking, "man, he is moving away. im going to be all alone." so what do you do? stay to please the friend, or go to make top dollar and enjoy your future life? cus money does make the world go round whether you want to believe it or not. i have read books about money to not know this.

you think thugs in the streets hustling are bad... just read about how countries need to borrow money from banks and pay back interests, if they can't, they get "PUNISHED". (this is something that goes deep to the truth. but most just ignore it cus it does not matter to the average joe to be honest, though it happens).

buy a brand new shiny car. make your payments on time so you won't get charged interests, see how it ends up for you. the dealer has to make a profit somehow.

make ONE late payment in anything, see how your bill goes up. it just takes one cus that's how they can charge you more legally (bend the rules). blah blah blah, it's all about money.

lets take a look at the other bold part "once you start making money the rest become slaves... it is true." actually they make themselves slaves. but slaves is not sugar coated so i could mean the same thing by saying, they become "kiss as*.".... "i need new shoes but i don't have any money". "man, i don't know how i'm going to do it but i don't have next month rent." that's how it starts.

etc. etc.. with the rest.

i'm not a millionaire (i wish) but i know that it should not be that hard. that is it i didn't have SA. plus, i just found out i had SA last year and i've been manipulated by my dad till 4 months ago. i may be late but i don't think it's too late. a lot of people have made millions in their later years.



> I am really sorry that you had a tough childhood and life. But blame the bullies, dont sit here and blame the world. Dont tell this guy that he should turn his back on the world and treat everyone else like dirt. That will get him nowhere.


not having pride is not going to take you places either. one of arrogance synonym is "pride". you can't have pride if you want to succeed in life. so it is ok to be arrogant. but i think the op is talking about having pride and not arrogance (unless how he feels is a lie, cannot back it up). just be proud that you feel smarter than the rest. why? cus they all do it, they just do it unconsciously. plus, they don't speak about it, they just do it. i see it.

﻿


> I am a guy, I am young, I am not as smart as you and have less money then you. But I would not trade places with you. I am glad you think your life and yourself is so much greater then everyone else. You can keep it.
> 
> And the they will be working for you one day comment. If I walked in and had a boss like you I would quit on the spot, no amount of money is worth putting up with someone with your values and attitude. I doubt many people would stand for it.


you can feel smarter than me, it won't bother me. you can feel that you have more money than me, it's the same. it all boils down how you feel about yourself.

should i feel like i'm lower than everyone else? just proving a point.

the thing is that people don't actually talk about what they do to get this and that. or how they feel about people/society, they just DO IT unconsciously (like i mentioned before). what i try to do is interpret their actions and not what they actually say and i say it bluntly. like i said earlier before, my fault is that i say it bluntly.

thanx for the input though.


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

i was arrogant when I was younger.Less so now. 

I now realize it was a defense mechanism to make myself feel better about not connecting with others. 

Even if you are a genius, its lonely at the top.


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

^ or so you think. you haven't ACTUALLY been in the "other side" have you?

what makes you think you were arrogant?


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

A lot of this stuff is flawed thinking......from years of negativity.
It needs to be reversed, that's all.
Lower your expectations - people can be interesting .


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

mrfixit said:


> ^ or so you think. you haven't ACTUALLY been in the "other side" have you?
> 
> what makes you think you were arrogant?


On the other side of what?

I would dismiss people if they didn't meet an immediate framework of how I thought people should act and think.


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> On the other side of what?


where the grass is greener.



> I would dismiss people if they didn't meet an immediate framework of how I thought people should act and think.


this is arrogance to you. :| you do this all the time. you are doing it by posting here. that is not arrogance.


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

mrfixit said:


> where the grass is greener.


Thats where you are totally wrong buddy. I've totally stood on green grass before. Some yellow grass. Even some red grass.



mrfixit said:


> this is arrogance to you. :| you do this all the time. you are doing it by posting here. that is not arrogance.


its not binary. There are degrees.

You seem like you are trying really hard to start an argument for conflict that doesn't yet exist.


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> Thats where you are totally wrong buddy. I've totally stood on green grass before. Some yellow grass. Even some red grass.


wrong? when you say it yourself. "stood" and i obviously mean, "green' (not other color), have "lived" in the other side where the grass is greener. greener meaning the "ideal" grass. yellow means a "sick" grass. a grass that is crap. so you really haven't been in the "other side". you just wished you have.



> its not binary. There are degrees.
> 
> You seem like you are trying really hard to start an argument for conflict that doesn't yet exist.


 nah, you are wrong and i can prove it. arrogance is not an opinion, it's a fact. and what you posted back as being "arrogant" is not actually being arrogant. that post is subjective. if the word arrogant didn't have an actual definition, it would not exist.

conflict, me? why did you post here if not to start a conflict? did you type here to help the op? no. plus, conflic it no really a bad thing. that's how people get "enlighten".

but speak the truth don't think you are fooling anyone.

what is the defenition of arrogance?


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

mrfixit said:


> is all good. i understand what you are trying to tell me. i have a problem that i do not know how to "sugar coat" my advice. i just speak bluntly. but most people do not understand blunt, they like it sugar coated. though blunt and sugar coated are the same thing. so i'll admit that, i lack that big time.
> 
> now, what i wrote it's not really that serious. i'm just speaking bluntly but i can guarantee that if i was to sugar coat it, you would not act the same.
> 
> ...


Its not about sugar coating it. Straight up all your information portrayed a very poor opinion on the world and others. Your main motivation is money, a stuff everyone as long as I have money I am a winner.

I have helped friends out in the past week. As well as the past month. I have IT qualifications, I help them with computers, they help me with their trades. I helped a mate out purchasing a new bike on the weekend. I am knowledgeable and helped him deal with salesman and get a good deal. He helped me fix up my suzuki because I am looking to sell it. All it took was 'mate, can you make me some brackets' Another mate was going through a few issues with his missus, I went out with him on saturday night, we had a good time, better then him sitting at home upset. I like to think that I have offered people advice which is more then 'it will be ok'. I have a very different way of thinking and analyzing things, which gives people a different angle to approach a problem. There is always more then one way to see things.

The difference is you see people as a burden, I dont, I am more then willing to give because you get so much in return. Not just from friends but everyone. You havent held the door for someone and seen how grateful they are. Or the guy infront of you at the coffee shop is a dollar short. You spot him the change. Giving change to volunteers. What do I get out of that. Nothing but a thank you and not even that sometimes. The more you give to the world the more you get back.

I am moving to canada at the end of the year. For nothing more then the experience and self discovery. My friends dont want me to go but understand why. I have a friend offering a place to stay when I get back until I find a job and get back on my feet. What does he get out of that? There was no, 'dude, you should stay' it was man that is awesome, I wish I had the chance to do that. Followed by when you come back there is a room for you.

I work in support, I regularly come across things people dont understand, I reword it and try again. I dont expect people to know anything I do, because I can tell you they know a lot more about other subjects. Does that make them smarter or dumber. No, everyone has something to offer. So no, I do not judge people and call them idiots in my head, I do not lower my intelligence to be polite, I word things in a way they will understand.

I am not denying that money is uber important for countries for businesses for people. What I am saying is that you can be happy without all the fancy things in life. That you can actually live a simple life and enjoy it just as much as someone with everything. Surround yourself with people which compliment yourself personality wise and you will have fun without even needing money. So you live on 500 a week and some dude is living on 5000 a week. You can actually be a lot happier.

I earn less then all of my mates. Bar a student. Does that make me a kiss ***? Do I feel that they own me money, no. I am more then happy to cover myself and others when out. So what if I shout a couple of extra rounds. Or if they do. It all works out in the end. I have a mate earning 5 to 10x as much as me. And it isnt until you mentioned it that I even think of it. He does not flaunt money, I would never even ask for a hand out or expect anything for free. People dont walk around with their dollar value above their head.

I wish you luck earning all your money, it is never too late and it is possible for anyone. So I wish you the best. I have gone away from wanting to set myself up for the future. I am having fun now for a change and meeting people. Enjoying people. And it is a lot more rewarding then stashing money under the bed. There is plenty of time to settle down in the future.

I honestly dont care if I am smarter then someone, I assume everyone is smarter then me in one way or another. So I take pride in my knowledge but I respect others for what they know.

I think your interpretation of people is off. You as missing the part about forming friendships for what they offer, a friend. That when you gain happiness from other areas that you dont need money to buy things to boost yourself.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

There is bitterness if you feel you hate the world that much. You have to learn that the world isn't quite that bad. Yeah, there are materialistic and shallow people - just make a goal not to become one. The rest will fall in to place.


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

> wrong? when you say it yourself. "stood" and i obviously mean, "green' (not other color), have "lived" in the other side where the grass is greener. greener meaning the "ideal" grass. yellow means a "sick" grass. a grass that is crap. so you really haven't been in the "other side". you just wished you have.


I'm not sure if this is a joke?


> nah, you are wrong and i can prove it. arrogance is not an opinion, it's a fact. and what you posted back as being "arrogant" is not actually being arrogant. that post is subjective. if the word arrogant didn't have an actual definition, it would not exist.
> 
> conflict, me? why did you post here if not to start a conflict? did you type here to help the op? no. plus, conflic it no really a bad thing. that's how people get "enlighten".
> 
> ...


You didn't really prove anything. You just told us your opinion. Yes if words didn't have definitions, they wouldn't mean nothing. I don't know what your point is. 
I posted to share my experiences with others, hoping to help or connect with someone else.

I agree that conflict isn't always bad. Many good things come out of conflict. But conflict for conflict's sake is completely idiotic.


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> ﻿Its not about sugar coating it. Straight up all your information portrayed a very poor opinion on the world and others. Your main motivation is money, a stuff everyone as long as I have money I am a winner.


wrong. how can money be my main motivation when humans are social and i have said it before that by socializing one finds oneself. that is not the issue here. it is being arrogant and all the other things i posted.

so believe that my main motivation is money, that is your point of view, not a fact, but your point of view none the less that you have a right to believe. you do not pay my bills so why should i care what you believe?



> ﻿I have helped friends out in the past week. As well as the past month. I have IT qualifications, I help them with computers, they help me with their trades. I helped a mate out purchasing a new bike on the weekend. I am knowledgeable and helped him deal with salesman and get a good deal. He helped me fix up my suzuki because I am looking to sell it. All it took was 'mate, can you make me some brackets' Another mate was going through a few issues with his missus, I went out with him on saturday night, we had a good time, better then him sitting at home upset. I like to think that I have offered people advice which is more then 'it will be ok'. I have a very different way of thinking and analyzing things, which gives people a different angle to approach a problem. There is always more then one way to see things.


but did you really want to or did you feel obligated to? plus is this a two way street? i doubt it cus usually one only wants wants wants and not give and the other gives gives gives to be accepted. one always ends up loosing. maybe you are a door mat. hey, but if everything is balanced, then i'm glad things work out for you. but from what i've noticed, that is not always the case.

don't tell me that you haven't had any arguments with your mates. and that the arguments where justified. the arguments where cus of your fault. etc.



> ﻿The difference is you see people as a burden, I dont, I am more then willing to give because you get so much in return. Not just from friends but everyone. You havent held the door for someone and seen how grateful they are. Or the guy infront of you at the coffee shop is a dollar short. You spot him the change. Giving change to volunteers. What do I get out of that. Nothing but a thank you and not even that sometimes. The more you give to the world the more you get back.


opening the door is nothing compared to actually helping. i have pulled over many times to help stranded motorists. i have picked up 50-100 dollars from the floor that other people have dropped in front of me and gave it back to them. i have done many things to help people, BUT, that is not the same as them helping me. sure you feel good that you have helped (strangers) but what about people that you know on an everyday basis and you help? do they help you? the "thank you" gets old after a while and it turns in to "door mat."



> ﻿I am moving to canada at the end of the year. For nothing more then the experience and self discovery. My friends dont want me to go but understand why. I have a friend offering a place to stay when I get back until I find a job and get back on my feet. What does he get out of that? There was no, 'dude, you should stay' it was man that is awesome, I wish I had the chance to do that. Followed by when you come back there is a room for you.


yeah, i see that but wait until you actually get back and see the truth. if he/she does come through, you do actually have a good friend, which is rare in my view.



> ﻿I work in support, I regularly come across things people dont understand, I reword it and try again. I dont expect people to know anything I do, because I can tell you they know a lot more about other subjects. Does that make them smarter or dumber. No, everyone has something to offer. So no, I do not judge people and call them idiots in my head, I do not lower my intelligence to be polite, I word things in a way they will understand.


support? i actually know people who work in support and what you just told me does not apply, unless you live in la la land. i will go ahead and say it, there are a lot of stupid people who go/call support. and i mean real dumb people. i have heard many stories. so if you let someone talk you down just cus they "think" they are right, is not being smart. it only makes you feel like you are wrong when you are not. "customers are always right" is BS.



> ﻿I am not denying that money is uber important for countries for businesses for people. What I am saying is that you can be happy without all the fancy things in life. That you can actually live a simple life and enjoy it just as much as someone with everything. Surround yourself with people which compliment yourself personality wise and you will have fun without even needing money. So you live on 500 a week and some dude is living on 5000 a week. You can actually be a lot happier.


but you did deny that money is not uber important by putting it in bold letters and by saying that you would rather be happy than have money. that is la la land talk. not focusing on money is a defense mechanism that people with out it put up.



> ﻿I earn less then all of my mates. Bar a student. Does that make me a kiss ***? Do I feel that they own me money, no. I am more then happy to cover myself and others when out. So what if I shout a couple of extra rounds. Or if they do. It all works out in the end. I have a mate earning 5 to 10x as much as me. And it isnt until you mentioned it that I even think of it. He does not flaunt money, I would never even ask for a hand out or expect anything for free. People dont walk around with their dollar value above their head.
> 
> I wish you luck earning all your money, it is never too late and it is possible for anyone. So I wish you the best. I have gone away from wanting to set myself up for the future. I am having fun now for a change and meeting people. Enjoying people. And it is a lot more rewarding then stashing money under the bed. There is plenty of time to settle down in the future.
> 
> ...


yeah i understand what you are saying and you should cherish the friendship, but everything is not equal. what you have is rare. the majority of the people just pretend this and that but they actually do not go through with it.

thanx for you input though.


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## neeko (Aug 9, 2010)

I didn't read all the replies to this thread. However, I did read the original and a few of the shorter ones =p. And, you know I think I've thought I was arrogant before but I've found just speaking my mind has helped me to realize it isn't really as bad as it seems. Even if I think it might be arrogance or judgemental or racist or sterotypical, I usually just say it to test the waters. Not ALL the time but with some things. I've had this goal of having the courage to say what it is on my mind to anyone. That way, I can see if what I am saying is true or is it really offensive or are they thinking along the same lines or is it no big deal? stuff like that. I worry about being too sterotypical sometimes though. Like with people who look like their gangsters or whatever, stuff like that. I thought I was racist for a long time but I think it is just misunderstanding that I've had and it can be tough trying to face these issues when you think oh **** I might really offend this person. But, I think it isn't all that uncommon and I've found talking about stuff like this usually helps. Especially with the people that I have these prejudgemental things with. It's hard though. I can say I've learned a little from saying what's on my mind.


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> ﻿I'm not sure if this is a joke?


is not a joke, if it was i would be laughing. i would not be saying jokes to make you laugh.



> ﻿You just told us your opinion. Yes if words didn't have definitions, they wouldn't mean nothing. I don't know what your point is.


what? didn't i asked you what you thought was arrogance..



> ﻿
> what makes you think you were arrogant?


and you said...



> ﻿
> I would dismiss people if they didn't meet an immediate framework of how I thought people should act and think.


which is not the true meaning of arrogance but you flawed view of the actual meaning. HENCE,



> ﻿arrogance is not an opinion, it's a fact. and what you posted back as being "arrogant" is not actually being arrogant. that post is subjective. if the word arrogant didn't have an actual definition, it would not exist.


let me simplify it for you. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO ACTUALLY BE ARROGANT SO DON'T SAY...



> i was arrogant when I was younger.Less so now. ﻿
> 
> I would dismiss people if they didn't meet an immediate framework of how I thought people should act and think.


that is false. so you don't actually know how it feels to actually be arrogant.



> I posted to share my experiences with others, hoping to help or connect with someone else.
> 
> I agree that conflict isn't always bad. Many good things come out of conflict. But conflict for conflict's sake is completely idiotic.


BS. you posted cus you saw my posts and you didn't agree with them. c'mon now. go watch some vandam movies.

you only posted cus you though you where right, plain and simple.

take it easy though.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

mrfixit said:


> wrong. how can money be my main motivation when humans are social and i have said it before that by socializing one finds oneself. that is not the issue here. it is being arrogant and all the other things i posted.


Sorry that was my assumption and it was built on what you have said. I dont really feel like going back to your original post but it went along the lines of making money and dealing with people afterward. Sorry that is what I took from it and my reasons were highlighted originally.



mrfixit said:


> so believe that my main motivation is money, that is your point of view, not a fact, but your point of view none the less that you have a right to believe. you do not pay my bills so why should i care what you believe?


Correct, I dont pay your bills. As I said, I am just going off how you have come across to me and most other people in this thread judging by their responses. 


mrfixit said:


> but did you really want to or did you feel obligated to? plus is this a two way street? i doubt it cus usually one only wants wants wants and not give and the other gives gives gives to be accepted. one always ends up loosing. maybe you are a door mat. hey, but if everything is balanced, then i'm glad things work out for you. but from what i've noticed, that is not always the case.


I dont feel obligated to do anything, it is a friendship. I cant even explain this because I dont think about it when I do something for a mate, or if he does something for me. It is just how it goes down. I get enjoyment from helping a mate. I like the fact that I have someone which can help me in return. I enjoy my friends company, and will just hang out with them for the fun of it. 


mrfixit said:


> don't tell me that you haven't had any arguments with your mates. and that the arguments where justified. the arguments where cus of your fault. etc.


Yep we have had huge arguments. Try being close to anyone and not having an argument. It will happen, does it take away from a friendship no, people make mistakes, people have different views. People have annoying habits. Does that take anything away from a relationship of any type. No. We are all different, we will always have differences. 


mrfixit said:


> opening the door is nothing compared to actually helping. i have pulled over many times to help stranded motorists. i have picked up 50-100 dollars from the floor that other people have dropped in front of me and gave it back to them. i have done many things to help people, BUT, that is not the same as them helping me. sure you feel good that you have helped (strangers) but what about people that you know on an everyday basis and you help? do they help you? the "thank you" gets old after a while and it turns in to "door mat."


Helping a stranger is not about getting something back from them, you get rewarded with the good feeling at the time. But I believe in karma and the more good I spread the more I will get in return. So if I am broken down, or have a huge bike accident people will stop and help. If I am buying a coffee someone will help me out. What do I have to gain from being an ******* to the world? 


mrfixit said:


> yeah, i see that but wait until you actually get back and see the truth. if he/she does come through, you do actually have a good friend, which is rare in my view.


I have known this guy for 15 years, I have been good friends with him for a couple of years and a lot closer since I got my sa in order. I spend a heap of time with him, his partner and his family. Tell me, why would I take the view that he will drop me the second I leave? 


mrfixit said:


> support? i actually know people who work in support and what you just told me does not apply, unless you live in la la land. i will go ahead and say it, there are a lot of stupid people who go/call support. and i mean real dumb people. i have heard many stories. so if you let someone talk you down just cus they "think" they are right, is not being smart. it only makes you feel like you are wrong when you are not. "customers are always right" is BS.


I deal with internal support, dealing with the same people day in day out. I know them on a personal level too. I know what they offer the company and the vast knowledge they have over me. I treat everyone the same from board members down. There is no customer is always right. If I know I am right I will tell them. they are coming to me for help, they want my advice, they listen. 


mrfixit said:


> but you did deny that money is not uber important by putting it in bold letters and by saying that you would rather be happy than have money. that is la la land talk. not focusing on money is a defense mechanism that people with out it put up.


No, you were saying that money is everything. I am saying it isnt. I am saying earn what you need or what you are capable of, you dont need to be a millionaire to be happy. And yes I would rather be happy then have money. Hence why I have gone from wanting money, cars, bikes and houses to owning next to nothing and moving overseas. So me giving up all that and a stable decent job is a defense? I am sorry but there is more out there for me to experience and I am going looking for it. Sure I am not making a 'smart' move but it is my move and it is something which will provide a lot more then money. 


mrfixit said:


> yeah i understand what you are saying and you should cherish the friendship, but everything is not equal. what you have is rare. the majority of the people just pretend this and that but they actually do not go through with it.
> 
> thanx for you input though.


What I have isnt rare, you just have to be open to it and give a little.

All I am saying is that telling op all this negative stuff about friends and people and how they are out to use you and waste your time is not going to help him. Telling him to go make millions is great, but it is all the other stuff about people just leaching off you. That is not true, there are plenty of people in this world which have not motives. They are genuine. I am sorry you havent seen this yet but I hope you do.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

> VanDamMan said:
> 
> 
> > Thats where you are totally wrong buddy. I've totally stood on green grass before. Some yellow grass. Even some red grass.
> ...


This makes the entire thread :haha


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

mrfixit said:


> BS. you posted cus you saw my posts and you didn't agree with them.


Now this is arrogant.


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> ﻿Sorry that was my assumption and it was built on what you have said. I dont really feel like going back to your original post but it went along the lines of making money and dealing with people afterward. Sorry that is what I took from it and my reasons were highlighted originally.


is not about being sorry is about seeing the truth. what's the point of apologizing if you don't know the whole story. that does not change the facts.

i don't give up cus i keep the facts engraved (main point) in my head. you feel you had something to go against me but you "don't really feel like going back" to what i said. :| you want to see something else that i see wrong here? is that you feel like you know me by just reading one of my posts. it's all good though. i understand that.



> ﻿Correct, I dont pay your bills. As I said, I am just going off how you have come across to me and most other people in this thread judging by their responses.


i didn't come across to you about anything, you CAME to me. there is a difference. you felt like you knew the whole me by this/these post/s here. that is by just looking at the glass half empty.



> ﻿I dont feel obligated to do anything, it is a friendship. I cant even explain this because I dont think about it when I do something for a mate, or if he does something for me. It is just how it goes down. I get enjoyment from helping a mate. I like the fact that I have someone which can help me in return. I enjoy my friends company, and will just hang out with them for the fun of it.


dude, if you cannot explain this with this post alone. you cannot tell me "I don't feel obligated to do anything, it is a friendship." when you don't understand it. (or maybe you do, i just don't see it). also, you make it seem like being "obligated" is a bad thing, point blank. if someone helps you, don't tell me that you don't feel obligated to "pay them" back? it is normal. the thing is that one should take notice in this cus other people know this can/will take advantage of this and use it for their benefit.



> ﻿Yep we have had huge arguments. Try being close to anyone and not having an argument. It will happen, does it take away from a friendship no, people make mistakes, people have different views. People have annoying habits. Does that take anything away from a relationship of any type. No. We are all different, we will always have differences.


yeah, but lets break arguments into percentage. is it 50% and 50% or is it 10% and 90%. <-- the latter represents not healthy relationships, which is the majority. plus, are those arguments justifiable or are they provoked out of stupid things. think "MTV jack as*."



> ﻿I have known this guy for 15 years, I have been good friends with him for a couple of years and a lot closer since I got my sa in order. I spend a heap of time with him, his partner and his family. Tell me, why would I take the view that he will drop me the second I leave?


ok, knowing this guy for 15 years does not mean 50/50. i have known my dad ever since i was born and i'm the one ending up getting the short end of the stick. i know my brothers since i was born and i end up getting the short end of the stick cus my "dad" brainwashed them. also, i have known people who use to follow me like flies, but they only did that cus they "admired" me. what about you? if you are happy in this 15 year relationship than i understand. but if you want me to understand that by what i posted in the beginning in my drunken state does not have any truth to success, you haven't convinced me. not JUST by telling me that you knwo this guy for 15 years, that is.



> ﻿I deal with internal support, dealing with the same people day in day out. I know them on a personal level too. I know what they offer the company and the vast knowledge they have over me. I treat everyone the same from board members down. There is no customer is always right. If I know I am right I will tell them. they are coming to me for help, they want my advice, they listen.


oh ok, this is more of a support to people that you work with. i see. but it is not the same as support to society, which was my main point.



> ﻿No, you were saying that money is everything. I am saying it isnt. I am saying earn what you need or what you are capable of, you dont need to be a millionaire to be happy. And yes I would rather be happy then have money. Hence why I have gone from wanting money, cars, bikes and houses to owning next to nothing and moving overseas. So me giving up all that and a stable decent job is a defense? I am sorry but there is more out there for me to experience and I am going looking for it. Sure I am not making a 'smart' move but it is my move and it is something which will provide a lot more then money.


i was not just speaking about money cus i said a lot of things. i will ignore that though.

i will tell you this, if it's not about money, why do you work? why is it so hard to understand that money plays a big role in happiness? i'm not saying to just live for the money but just understand that "big money" brings a lot of pleasure which brings a lot of happiness. also, learn that money is not really that hard to obtain, if you have the know how that is. (which im working on).

still, money is not the devil.



> ﻿What I have isnt rare, you just have to be open to it and give a little.
> 
> All I am saying is that telling op all this negative stuff about friends and people and how they are out to use you and waste your time is not going to help him. Telling him to go make millions is great, but it is all the other stuff about people just leaching off you. That is not true, there are plenty of people in this world which have not motives. They are genuine. I am sorry you havent seen this yet but I hope you do.


i still will say that if what you speak is true, is it rare. i have never met anyone otherwise. i'm just taking your word for it. though it is not the whole story... 100%.

the only way i will listen to you is if you are mainly happy with your "friends". you haven't convinced me otherwise.

i can tell you about everyone that i know now that they all have friendship problems. the thing is that, even though they all have problems, one ALWAYS ends up at top (where i want to be). i'm not about to explain that though.

don't feel "obligated" to type back to me though. i see the whole picture dude.


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> Now this is arrogant.


you cannot say what being arrogant is when you do not know what arrogant means. go back ane read your books and learn how it applies in real life experiences.


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## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

THAT"S IT, this place is suppose to be where we can come together to share a common experience not fight like selfish over indulged children, you're all facing complex feelings and issues you should all be willing to open your hearts and understand where each person is coming from and Mr Fixit I'm looking at you I thought the way you were speaking to that beautiful lady and making assumptions about her was disrespectful, I saw your story I know only what I see of your circumstances but THAT"S ENOUGH, you are a 32 year old grown man you can be angry with the world but you HAVE NO RIGHT to treat her that way. 

DAMMIT this is a place where we should find common ground, I thought I'd come here and find down to earth sympathetic and compassionate individuals and I still have yet to meet many of you so I hold out hope but from what I see here (certain individuals) need a nice warm cup of reality (Wake up to the fact that you are insignificent in the grand scheme of things and in the end the people who will truly be rewarded with friendship, love are those who don't live in their own ignorant and arrogant little world.

If you can't behave and treat each other with the same compassion you wish for yourselves then if I could I'd lock this place down till 0900 (9am for non Military people)


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## Space Ghost (Jul 13, 2010)

Inst8 said:


> Am i the only one who noticed that arrogant people (or at least guys) are usually oversensitive? They act arrogant because they don't want to look like some pitiful "losers".


Absolutely. I noticed when i feel insecure about something, i try to overcompensate. Pretty pathetic really.

The the OP. Im not sure what to tell you. Maybe you are frustrated that you cannot relate to people and conclude that you must be too much for them.


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

mrfixit said:


> you cannot say what being arrogant is when you do not know what arrogant means. go back ane read your books and learn how it applies in real life experiences.


I'd rather read your books.

What do you recommend?


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## xtina (Jan 3, 2010)

in reference to the ridiculously drawn out argument: 
i wonder who will have the last word...

to the OP: 
it isn't easy being smart. it's hard to find a way to communicate as your true self without showing arrogance. i'm constantly working on being more understanding than allowing frustration to take hold - meaning, i try to humbly enlighten rather than belittle people. the latter can only ruin relationships...unless you're aiming to push people away (common in the SA world).


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## littlemisshy (Aug 10, 2010)

Maybe its not that you are 'arrogant' but actually fearful that you won't know what to say to someone with normal intelligence? I'm not having a go at you but just stating an observation.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

xtina said:


> in reference to the ridiculously drawn out argument:
> i wonder who will have the last word...


Obviously not MrFixit

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/asking-for-a-permanent-ban-97161/


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## xtina (Jan 3, 2010)

aw :/ i hope i didn't sound too snotty with that sarcastic comment...not that he saw it, i don't think?
i hope he gets his life in order & gets the drinking under control.


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## I hate people (Aug 12, 2010)

Xeros said:


> I'm 22 and literally have no contact outside of my family. Other than my severe fear of social situations, I also have this insane arrogance.
> 
> Every person I meet,I think I'm better than. More intelligent for the most part.
> 
> ...


I have the same problem. I constantly talk about other people to my boyfriend, and how stupid and ugly they are. Im always saying how atleast 80% of the world are idiots and all they are about are sex and money. I really believe myself too, I don't know if I'm crazy or if everyone really is stupid? It seems like the only people who have sense are the people who have some kind of mental disorder :/


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## I hate people (Aug 12, 2010)

"One of the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD for short) is having an unfaltering belief in your own abilities without having any experiences to back said belief up. You claim to be so intelligent, yet I ask you - what have you contributed to the world? What advances have you spurred forth in the fields of science, art, music or literature?"


Okay, I really believe I can do anything, I can build a house if I had all the supplies, I AM smarter than most people I've met even though I don't have the best vocabulary I dont think you uneed to use big words to get a point across. I have no contributed anything to the world because I have social anxiety but If I never had this wrong with me I would literally be able to do anything I want and I feel like I could change the world and make it a better place. I don't need to prove it to anyone because in my head I just know and really feel like I can do anything and that I'm smarter than most people. That doesnt mean I have a personality dissorder!


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## Will L (Jan 24, 2010)

I hate people said:


> "One of the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD for short) is having an unfaltering belief in your own abilities without having any experiences to back said belief up. You claim to be so intelligent, yet I ask you - what have you contributed to the world? What advances have you spurred forth in the fields of science, art, music or literature?"
> 
> Okay, I really believe I can do anything, I can build a house if I had all the supplies, I AM smarter than most people I've met even though I don't have the best vocabulary I dont think you uneed to use big words to get a point across. I have no contributed anything to the world because I have social anxiety but If I never had this wrong with me I would literally be able to do anything I want and I feel like I could change the world and make it a better place. I don't need to prove it to anyone because in my head I just know and really feel like I can do anything and that I'm smarter than most people. That doesnt mean I have a personality dissorder!


I'm not sure if your post was intended to be sarcastic or not.

Not to be mean, but according to your logic, I can say that without social anxiety I would be the next Aristotle, and win the Superbowl by myself, I don't have to prove my claim with actual experience, because "in my head" I really believe that this is the truth.

With a little anecdotal evidence one can believe that he is the smartest person in the universe, and no one can be the wiser, at least in his head.

I'm not saying that what you believe is not the truth, perhaps it may very well be, but what you've just said is an "armchair quarterback" type of statement, it's a hypothetical "If only I had X, I would make a better Y," and buying into it unquestionably would not be a smart thing to do.

For some reason this reminds me of a study that was done (don't remember what it was called) that concluded how people of limited proficiency often overestimated their own abilities while underestimating the abilities of others.


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## Will L (Jan 24, 2010)

Also to add that the value of being able to demonstrate one's abilities through actual experience is that it allows the individual to better assess their strengths and limitations in their given vocation, which in turn facilitates a more accurate understanding of the self as a whole. Although experience can be a harsh teacher at times and can be especially debilitating for us SA'ers. :blank


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## Inst8 (Jun 21, 2009)

QuackQuack said:


> I was just talking about this with a girl, and she said "Your arrogance is sexy". So I'm skeptical that you know what women want.
> 
> Yet she also said "Yeah, don't date me. You seem too smart for me", and I think I agree with her.


Of course, this stupid girl think your arrogance is sexy.
:haha


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## fc045 (Jan 4, 2007)

on topic of OP:

Not sure it's arrogance, but for me I refused to open up to people for a long time. Actually it hadn't helped much recently. I opened up to the wrong people who used what they found out about me against me. It was pretty painful and it was one reason I had to quit my last job because of it. You don't have to open up and reveal specific doubts and weaknesses, but be open to listen to someone else who might be compatible with you.

for me "arrogance" kind of felt like sullying myself down to people who conform sometimes to a social-economic class. Well just wanted to describe best I can what I think about it.

mrfixit has a few points I agree with though I don't want to participate in anymore flaming. i'm already worn out by dealing with rudeness from real life and my own sibling and relatives. 

what he said about friends. i wouldn't put it coldly as that. you can learn more about the world with friends. but I've noticed its very very few people I would be comfortable and trusting as friends. some people I thought were close to being friends turned on me fairly quickly unexpectedly and turned out no better than other tormentors of me because of my SA.

what he said about money. people do screw each over at work for money, especially at work. unfortunately money, especially the lack of it causes so many problems.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

calichick said:


> I am really sorry if you were bullied in the past, but this is not how reality is. It makes me very sad actually, that some people have come to this point in their lives...The OP was talking about arrogance, which I can relate to, I am a narcissist myself, but you are in a whole other dimension. :cry
> 
> There is nothing greater than true friendship in this world.
> 
> I'm a bit confused..you just called me materialistic, but know nothing of me, and yet your whole post talks of money and success???


I am a male, with slight arrogant thoughts\feelings towards people at times, who also can go from inferiority complex to superiority complex in a heartbeat, and I absolutely agree with calichick about you, mrfixit. 

Your thoughts ARE disturbing. You are a grown man for heavens sake!

Rant over.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

QuackQuack said:


> People are such dicks to each other, and I hate them for it. Yet I see the same irrational behaviors and beliefs in myself, and hate myself for it, too.


Same here.


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## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

Do you think being arrogant affirms the beliefs about yourself. I think so. You know you aren't smarter than 95 %(not theoretically provable), so therefore your character needs some sort of back-up on your notions.


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## radames (Jul 6, 2009)

I feel most people are idiots when it comes to common sense and making conscientious decisions; or decisions that value awareness of one's surroundings and decisions that factor a sequence of possible events from a variety of vantage points.

In addition, most people have no desire to do their own research and simply take a stranger's point of view as the ultimate truth; this really annoys the heck out of me. Also, countless numbers of people seem to think that being extroverted and ignorant and consumed with having amazing personalities and social skills is better than searching for the objective truth in every situation.


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## Iota (Mar 24, 2010)

Some of the posts here are quite sad. There are many different types of people... and many of which that do things that seem to make no sense (to me). It bothers me but I don't use it as a way to boost my ego. Also, being 'smart' is such a general term. In truth, you think you are 'better', as there is no way a statement indicating 'smarter than' reflects intelligence.

If you have any desire to change, then you may consider some counseling, therapy, or a meaningful friendship with others (in an ideal world). If you have any desire to improve yourself, then you should stop thinking so much about yourself. This, of course, applies to people in general, including myself. We all have flaws.


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## radames (Jul 6, 2009)

fc045 said:


> on topic of OP:
> 
> Not sure it's arrogance, but for me I refused to open up to people for a long time. Actually it hadn't helped much recently. I opened up to the wrong people who used what they found out about me against me. It was pretty painful and it was one reason I had to quit my last job because of it. You don't have to open up and reveal specific doubts and weaknesses, but be open to listen to someone else who might be compatible with you.
> 
> ...


I went through something like this as well. I opened my heart for a group of people and I was stabbed repeatedly in the back. I held some bitterness for a while and still don't open myself nearly as often as I used to but I feel that I have enough very, very close friends and family that I need to open up to and feel as though I belong and am loved.

I suppose that I am a success story to having been hurt really bad and rebounded well from it. I still struggle with issues that have to do with trust and definitely with being around strangers who I can't read that well.

Just today I was talking with a guy at the gym and I couldn't really tell if he was doing one of those things where people say, "Queers say what" really fast in order for someone else to say, "What?" As he was also talking to a really hot girl who was working out with him, or at least nearby, I was thinking that he was doing something at my expense in order to get a laugh from her. Well, she didn't laugh but I wonder if he acts a certain way around people and then talks about them behind their backs.

He did this with me when another guy was saying bad things about him or something. He went right up to the guy after talking to me about him and acted like nothing was wrong, joking with him, laughing with him as if they were best buds. People like this are very untrustworthy in my opinion.

I went through a lot of psychological trauma from my previous experience three years ago but have now since recovered. I guess when people try to imprison you the response isn't very positive.

Anyway, I'm learning that if I want to achieve something in life, the fact of the matter is that I will have to find a way to get along with other people because of the close proximity most others are to me in achieving their goals. I think that we have to "share" this "highway" called life and finding a way to share it when so many different vehicles travel along it with so many different driving styles and in so many different speeds can be like looking for a dark blue ping pong ball in a cage of 10,000 purple balls all being spun around like a chaotic blue-raspberry swirly.


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## NameIsNotImportant (Aug 30, 2010)

Every single person has at one point or the other believed they're smarter and more better than other people. I can confirmed that it's part of your natural ego and getting rid of it is just good riddance.


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## wjc75225 (Jul 24, 2010)

....


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## JayDontCareEh (Jul 16, 2007)

I'm sorry, and you are?


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## mike8803 (Feb 21, 2010)

Xeros said:


> I'm 22 and literally have no contact outside of my family. Other than my severe fear of social situations, I also have this insane arrogance.
> 
> Every person I meet,I think I'm better than. More intelligent for the most part.
> 
> ...


i think your in denial.


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## TheGreatPretender (Sep 6, 2010)

I share some of the same thoughts as the original poster. I feel like I am more intelligent than at least 95% of the population. I have SAT scores in the 99.99th percentile in all subjects and school has always been easy for me. However, reading this thread has led me to question if I am truly intelligent or if my feeling of intellectual superiority is just a symptom of my social anxiety. After all, as with all standardized tests, your score on the SAT has a strong correlation with the amount of time you spend studying for it. Also, it seems that a lot of people suffering from SA have a feeling of intellectual superiority. Is this because people of higher intelligence are more prone to developing social anxiety or because people with social anxiety are more prone to feeling intellectually superior? I don't really know.

I disagree with the original poster in that he takes a sort of condescending view of others. If anything, I feel inferior to most people despite being more intelligent. Social skills are so much more important in life and I would trade my intelligence for social skills any day.


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## jessckuh (Jul 27, 2010)

I was like this before. I hated it because it made me seem hypocrtical (which that pretty much is) and caused me to miss out having friendships with certain people. I like being intelligent. Being smart feels good but to make other that are not as smart as me feel lower is just mean. My cousin has a learning disability, is IQ isnt low because he made it that way or chooses to have bad grades. He really does the best he can. Some people are being the smartest they can possibly be. 

Arrogance isn't any fun. Just seems hateful to me


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## Lets Beat Social Anxiety (Jul 12, 2010)

I think what can help you is realising that a person's value is not decided by intelligence. Some people are cleverer than others, and you may be right in saying that you are cleverer than most people - but it still doesn't make you better than them.

You've probably been brainwashed by the education system into thinking that one person is better than another on the basis of intelligence. It just isn't true. What makes the world go round better? Good people, or clever people? In my opinion, it's good people. Modern Technology (created by the intelligent) doesn't make people happy, but kindness etc does make people happy. The characteristic capable of making people happy should be what we judge each other's value by - and that's kindness, not intelligence.

So, OP, if you can bring yourself to see the reasons why it is better to judge people's value by how much of a good person they are (and therefore how much they are making the world a better place), you'll lose the arrogance, because you'll no longer see intelligence as something that makes you superior.

P.S. What does intelligence mean to you? (question to anyone who reads it)

To me, the intelligent people of this world are the ones that have set up happy lives for themselves. Why? Because happiness is what everyone wants most, so anyone who's set up a life that they love living is clearly more clever (currently) than people who aren't so happy. I've not got to that stage yet, but I will do. You will too.


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## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

Xeros said:


> I'm 22 and literally have no contact outside of my family. Other than my severe fear of social situations, I also have this insane arrogance.
> 
> Every person I meet,I think I'm better than. More intelligent for the most part.
> 
> ...


Xeros, what you have described sounds like the "more than human" complex that John Bradshaw talked of in his book _Healing The Shame That Binds You (_Revised Edition October 2005)_._ He talks of how people with toxic shame either think they are "more than human" or "less than human". As I talked of in my thread titled "The Toxic Shame thread", SA - for most people - is caused by toxic shame. And you've indicated in your post you have SA. You then described the "more than human" aspect of toxic shame that John Bradshaw talked of in his book. I suggest you get John Bradshaw's book, or at least click on my thread link in my signature to read more about toxic shame. However, I want to point out that I have yet to specifically discuss in the thread the part of Bradshaw's book in which he has talked of a toxically shamed person feeling more than human (though, I do think I've talked of the "less than human" aspect mention by Bradshaw). To read more about the "more than human" aspect, it is best to get his book.

By the way, I've always had the "less than human" belief about myself. Since finding out about toxic shame and working to get over it, I am much better and my SA itself has essentially disappeared. I won't say that my toxic shame has completely healed yet, but I have made big strides towards it (my healing) and hopefully it will be largely (if not completely) gone sometime in the near future. It is something that will heal on its own time, just as with anything that requires healing.

Lifetmer


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> THAT"S IT, this place is suppose to be where we can come together to share a common experience not fight like selfish over indulged children, you're all facing complex feelings and issues you should all be willing to open your hearts and understand where each person is coming from and Mr Fixit I'm looking at you I thought the way you were speaking to that beautiful lady and making assumptions about her was disrespectful, I saw your story I know only what I see of your circumstances but THAT"S ENOUGH, you are a 32 year old grown man you can be angry with the world but you HAVE NO RIGHT to treat her that way.
> 
> DAMMIT this is a place where we should find common ground, I thought I'd come here and find down to earth sympathetic and compassionate individuals and I still have yet to meet many of you so I hold out hope but from what I see here (certain individuals) need a nice warm cup of reality (Wake up to the fact that you are insignificent in the grand scheme of things and in the end the people who will truly be rewarded with friendship, love are those who don't live in their own ignorant and arrogant little world.
> 
> If you can't behave and treat each other with the same compassion you wish for yourselves then if I could I'd lock this place down till 0900 (9am for non Military people)


nobody is fighting, at least i am/was not. if they are, it is not my fault. i'm merely expressing just like you are expressing yourself by posting. what i posted is how i really feel, what am i suppose to do? agree with what i don't agree with? sure, you come from a different background than mine, but that does not mean that your background is right? everyone is different. if i was not different than you, you would not go against me.

i did not really reply towards you but i did reply to express my opinion though. while you replied to me cus something hit you personally. the thing is that you only judge me from your experiences and you do not judge me for who i really am cus you do not know me, which makes you no different than me speaking my mind.

i speak my mind, you get mad, you speak your mind, i don't get mad but i understand and explain <- which is the formula that i think it is not working in society but what i am doing at present time. see you take it personal cus of your experiences. NOW, do you know that what i am speaking of is really a bad thing? how do you know that what i speak of has less happiness than what you speak off when you have not been in my shoes?

i am the most fair guy you would ever know. in fact i'm too fair that i NOW believe that there is no such thing as winning by being fair in this world. can you tell me if being fair really pays off in this world or is it a product of being "weak"?


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> ﻿I'd rather read your books.
> 
> What do you recommend?


i will not recommend anything since you do not know a simple thing... what arrogance means. keep googleling


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> ﻿I have the same problem. I constantly talk about other people to my boyfriend, and how stupid and ugly they are. Im always saying how atleast 80% of the world are idiots and all they are about are sex and money. I really believe myself too, I don't know if I'm crazy or if everyone really is stupid? It seems like the only people who have sense are the people who have some kind of mental disorder :/


wait, "sex and money" = smart. your formula does not add up, sorry to say. this means that you live in a fantasy world. in other words, "nothing but lip".

this sounds more like a defense mechanism to cope but not the facts. if you were really actually speaking the truth you would "back it up". you actually make people who can do things look bad, sorry.

i could say that i can play better than Michel Jordan, but that's about it.

i don't mean to disrespect but i speak my mind because i actually don't speak bad about people, i actually don't think that every one is stupid but i DO believe that the majority are not very wise. so in reality there is a difference between me and and you. i don't speak what if's, i speak from experience.

for example, i once worked for one of the top companies in my city (the fourth or fifth) . when i got hired and started working i didn't know this. i was just learning and adjusting to the work place. so i did my part in this world and made my money. so the more i stayed there the more i was like, dam this job is so easy a trained monkey can do it. i said this cus i was learning really fast i mean work is mainly repetition. so i started the job at the same time as others, and i was surpassing them. but wait, i didn't feel smart, i didn't down talk at them but they were getting jealous. i remember someone saying to me in a non-direct way "some people get ahead by being kiss ***".

that scenario repeats it's self. so i don't speak with if i had the tools i could build a house. sure, that shows confidence but one needs to show that one can do it not JUST talk about it and TAKE and step on the PRIDE that people who actually sweat bullets building houses.


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> ﻿Okay, I really believe I can do anything, I can build a house if I had all the supplies, I AM smarter than most people I've met even though I don't have the best vocabulary I dont think you uneed to use big words to get a point across. I have no contributed anything to the world because I have social anxiety but If I never had this wrong with me I would literally be able to do anything I want and I feel like I could change the world and make it a better place. I don't need to prove it to anyone because in my head I just know and really feel like I can do anything and that I'm smarter than most people. That doesnt mean I have a personality dissorder!


well, have you actually done any of those things you believe that you can do? if not, then you do have a disorder cus you talk about something that you have not done.

you cannot know for a fact that you could build a house if you actually haven't done so. "talk is cheap".

back it up. if not, don't talk it up.


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> ﻿Of course, this stupid girl think your arrogance is sexy.


if the girl is stupid, thats her fault. itr does not matter if she thinks something is sexy or not, whar matters is the guys mind. why do you laugh?


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

mrfixit said:


> if the girl is stupid, thats her fault. itr does not matter if she thinks something is sexy or not, whar matters is the guys mind. why do you laugh?


Sexism at its finest. Congrats man. You show who's the boss


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

Just out of interest for the arrogant guys. 

Do you see it as a good quality or a bad one? 
Do you think it is something other people like in you?
Do you think it will attract the type of people you want in your life? 
Does being arrogant bother you at all?


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I am a male, with slight arrogant thoughts\feelings towards people at times, who also can go from inferiority complex to superiority complex in a heartbeat, and I absolutely agree with calichick about you, mrfixit.
> 
> Your thoughts ARE disturbing. You are a grown man for heavens sake!
> 
> Rant over.


yeah, there's is no solid prove that i am wrong. is being arrogant wrong? why?

who benefits?


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> Sexism at its finest. Congrats man. You show who's the boss


what do you believe "the boss" means? if the boss can get you out of your hell hole, is the boss an evil guy?

you think it is sexism, ok, believe that. that does not take food off my table. also, it is not the truth to success cus you would not be where you are right now if you knew the "truth".

nice to see you again though. you cannot win


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## mike8803 (Feb 21, 2010)

This is excatly what the OP wanted, stop replying to his nonsense.


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> ﻿
> Just out of interest for the arrogant guys.
> 
> Do you see it as a good quality or a bad one?
> ...


1- good quality.

2- who knows, people like different sht.

3- yes.

4- no


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## enfield (Sep 4, 2010)

So this thread is sort of interesting to me. 

I'm glad that you've not been permanently banned, Mrfixit, even if part of you wishes it, and see's participation in this forum as a detriment to your being. I feel grateful to be exposed to what you have to say.

The charged nature of some of the discussion has partly to do with, I think, different outlooks on life based on our varying degrees of awareness, and how we conclude and form opinion from that awareness, which has a lot to do with personal circumstance/history and the like. 

There seems to be this latent truth out there that we don't like to acknowledge or talk about (because it's not easy) that many of the things we desire (and they are usually ineffable because they are not rational but innate) are all product of evolutionary instincts, and only serve the purpose of a sort of delusional self gratification, as by heeding to them what we're really doing is expressing a lack of control. Because what they are in large part are distractions -- outdated modes to encourage the continuity of our species. Like we don't need to be around others anymore for protection/food, so why should we be, aren't we just wasting our time then -- why don't we be as free as we possibly can and abscond from these influences.

But then see, the thing is, it is not so easy as that. The intellectual side of us can't reject them, despite wanting to, because our more primative sides' (or emotional or 'feeling' or w/e) are practically slaves to these logically unsound impulses. So it can be a source of internal conflict for some, and vary in intensity according to individual.

Myself, I'm haven't reconciled this matter and determined how to live etc., but it (the conflict) affects me relatively mildly at present. But so I'm still interested to hear from others how they deal with this, if they do. It seems sort of vitally important as I approach an age where I'm not going to be able to excuse how I live/what I do by being a kid, or by seeing my circumstances as a product of others (parents or friends -or the lack thereof). Because I'm going to be faced more overtly with myself, and the freedom to do what I want, and make my own mistakes etc etc.

It's maybe hard to be considerate when people like Mrfixit are being blunt with how they see the world/you -- and maybe we should also be careful about how we present things (not to the extent that it undermines our message(s) though, I don't think) -- but to not be riled up by differences and instead try to understand and question rationally seems better. There are lines that can be crossed, still, of course (and some might have been in this discussion, I think, with regards to respect, etc.). But to open ourselves up a bit more is all I'm saying.

So I like hearing what people have to say, and I think these kind of discussions (especially when views are polarized) can be rewarding for all of us, if we allow them to be..


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## GnR (Sep 25, 2009)

I've had issue's similar to the OP. I know I'm well above average intelligence, and it used to cause problems in terms of being judgemental towards others. But thanks to this thread, and the innumerable brain cells killed in my attempt to read it, I do not think this will be a problem for me any longer...:no.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

mrfixit said:


> what do you believe "the boss" means? if the boss can get you out of your hell hole, is the boss an evil guy?
> 
> you think it is sexism, ok, believe that. that does not take food off my table. also, it is not the truth to success cus you would not be where you are right now if you knew the "truth".
> 
> nice to see you again though. you cannot win


I actually didnt see your last reply until you were banned, sorry bout that.

All I meant by 'You show who's the boss' is well done talking down to women. I am not in a hell hole but thats for your concern and guidance on how to get out of one. I hope it works for you.

Um, you saying that a guys thoughts is all that matters is sexist. Why do you rate males above females?

And where am I right now?

It is nice that we both see that you are arrogant and you belittle women. Well done champ, you're my hero. :high5


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

mrfixit said:


> 1- good quality.
> 
> 2- who knows, people like different sht.
> 
> ...


eye opening.

You are aware that when people call you arrogant it is not a compliment, they actually dislike that quality in you.


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## johnkim (Aug 18, 2010)

mrfixit said:


> let me see... who have i come across with that i think is smarter than myself?
> 
> no one... this is you being born in the wrong place. don't make yourself feel like you need to lower your standards just so you can fit in with the rest. no. don't lower your standards just might be living in the wrong place. it will pay off eventually. the people who see you as weird right now will be working for you in the future. don't, ever, lower yourself down to fit in. for any female.
> 
> ...


You are wrong. Money is good ONLY if you are happy emotionally. I drive a $80k car but it doesn`t give me same amount of pleasure as hanging out with friends.

However, if you are unhealthy mentally, money will only act as a temporarily relief. That is if you have a lot of money. However, I don`t think anyone can be rich without the ability to get along with people. Look at the past riches of the world, all of them are humble and have excellent people skills.


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## johnkim (Aug 18, 2010)

mrfixit said:


> calichick,
> 
> please, you haven't been in front of your dad hitting your mom thinking he was going to kill her.
> 
> ...


You are totally f*ucked in the head:sus


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

johnkim said:


> You are totally f*ucked in the head:sus


Hmm... :clap

The way he talks to and about women is disgraceful.


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## Scottman200 (Feb 29, 2008)

RJF said:


> I find myself wondering why you've made this thread. Did you make it because you view your narcissistic complex as something unhealthy, or did you make it so that others would affirm your world view? Your statement about how you don't believe that you can "fix" this problem would lead me to believe the former of the two suggested possibilities; please correct me if I'm wrong.
> 
> Of course, your apparent unwillingness to change is demonstrated by that comment as well. You're so far above the rest of us that the only way you'd be able to get along with people is by suffering some sort of severe trauma to the brain? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're deluding yourself. Quite a bit, in fact.
> 
> ...


After reading that, I totally agree with you. I, at some points, act somewhat arrogant and keep my distance from people, but at every point when I do that, I feel a pang of guilt. It's like I know that I shouldn't be acting in this manner, but it can be difficult finding a sociably healthy alternative when I met certain people.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

I would have needed three bags of popcorn for this thread.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

Ospi said:


> I would have needed three bags of popcorn for this thread.


Yeah pretty straight forward. Probably not worth the 6 pages. Just a good chance to see how diverse this world is. and by diverse I mean. well any number of naughty words.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

matty said:


> Yeah pretty straight forward. Probably not worth the 6 pages. Just a good chance to see how diverse this world is. and by diverse I mean. well any number of naughty words.


Yep, you really don't realise just how weird and wonderful people can be until you join large forums or chat groups etc. Opens up the ol eyes!!!


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> All I meant by 'You show who's the boss' is well done talking down to women. I am not in a hell hole but thats for your concern and guidance on how to get out of one. I hope it works for you.
> 
> Um, you saying that a guys thoughts is all that matters is sexist. Why do you rate males above females?
> 
> ...


dude, i was once in a relationship where i was happy, happy as in i had control over the relationship. if this happiness meant that i was above females, so be it. getting with females was not my issue (like it now is). i remember when females where all over me, now the females are not. when the females were all over me, i was treating them like nothing. what you believe may be sexists is not sexists to me, it is life. either you take control and show the female who is in charge or you let her take charge and make you feel less. it's life. you live in this fantasy world where you think that females are "fair".

if you are not in a hell hole, then you have a girlfriend who treats you nice and you two are happy. if this is true, i will take your advice right now, at this very moment and get on my knees and take everything i said back. is this true?

i don't belittle women in actuality most of them do it themselves. specially if a guy cheats on them and they still stay with him. others do not really know how to treat a guy but they get mad when they don't get treated themselves. things like that.

the thing that you lack is the ability to let "hot" females "please" you cus you don't have what it takes.

don't show a female who is in control and she ignores you and she take control and takes you for granted. you will end up loosing. she might cheat on you. you will forgive her. you will be asking "relationship experts" where are you going wrong. they will be giving you the run around cus they don't know.

so, no female in here is going to go around with you just cus you are a nice guy, unless they feel pity for you. pity does not mean living happily ever after though. you need to show the female who is the boss. after you do, you can settle back and not worry if she will cheat on you or if she will leave you. females want this subconsciously.


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> ﻿eye opening.
> 
> You are aware that when people call you arrogant it is not a compliment, they actually dislike that quality in you.


yes, i am very aware of such thing but do i really care? not really cus they only judge from what they THINK it is right for them, and not what it is right for me.

don't sit there and tell me that you have never been arrogant yourself, or that anyone who you look up to has, or people you know that you think as role models? heck, i know people who call me arrogant and judge me cus i am "gentle" (i don't talk back that often) but if they see this guy who is arrogant BUT talks back, they don't judge the guy but eat from his feet just cus he's "manly". explain that.


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> ﻿You are wrong. Money is good ONLY if you are happy emotionally. I drive a $80k car but it doesn`t give me same amount of pleasure as hanging out with friends.
> 
> However, if you are unhealthy mentally, money will only act as a temporarily relief. That is if you have a lot of money. However, I don`t think anyone can be rich without the ability to get along with people. Look at the past riches of the world, all of them are humble and have excellent people skills.


money is good whether being happy emotionally or not. you just lack the ability to take advantage of that opportunity. if i had the money you have, i would be in a much better place than what i am now. i mean, first of all, i would not be working for the money right now. i would be enjoying my money and time and not be worrying if i'm going to loose my job and not be able to pay rent if i did. you don't understand how big of an issue that is for me (and for a lot of other people), for someone who does not have big money, that is.

money does help for you with that mentality, is like if you didn't have any money at all. you take it for granted which humans are well known to do that with a lot of things.

your lack of the ability to take advantage of your money is the same as not having any money at all but it is not the same as not having money at all. money makes the world go round, give me your 80k car and i can guarantee that i will really take advantage of that un like yourself.

will you trade your car for mine?


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> You are totally f*ucked in the head


yes i am cus i have SA. but luckily, SA is irrational that can be changed. is not like hoping to have 8 arms.

tell me how i should fix myself since you know that i am f*cked up in the head? if not, don't say anything at all.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

mrfixit said:


> dude, i was once in a relationship where i was happy, happy as in i had control over the relationship. if this happiness meant that i was above females, so be it. getting with females was not my issue (like it now is). i remember when females where all over me, now the females are not. when the females were all over me, i was treating them like nothing. what you believe may be sexists is not sexists to me, it is life. either you take control and show the female who is in charge or you let her take charge and make you feel less. it's life. you live in this fantasy world where you think that females are "fair".
> 
> if you are not in a hell hole, then you have a girlfriend who treats you nice and you two are happy. if this is true, i will take your advice right now, at this very moment and get on my knees and take everything i said back. is this true?
> 
> ...


Hmm, you had control over the relationship, lucky girl to be in a controlling relationship. Bet she is upset that it didnt work out. Hope she has found someone who treats her right. 

Good for you, you once had girls all over you because you treated them poorly, I am really happy that you experienced that. Sounds like you will never have a girl interested in you again, but live in the past, where you were a god. I am struggling not to look up at you right now with envy. Screw it.. Bud you rock, all those girl, man you must have been living the life. Did they do an MTV show on you? Do you have a copy I could borrow?

Sexist... you look down on women. You think men are better then women. You my bestest bud, are sexist. :high5 congrats on that, I dislike you because of it.

Nope, you have a warped view on women. You belittle them and you talk poorly about them. You give men a bad name and you are the reason why some girls treat men poorly. Women look good for themselves, they dress up for themselves and enjoy looking good. Dont think they do it for you.

I am not in a hell hole. I am single.  I enjoy my life without a partner, I enjoyed my life just as much with one. I am single and sorting out my sa issues and have made incredible progress. I put that down to being single and being able to focus on me. If you want advice, learn how to be happy by yourself, learn how to respect women and then maybe you could have a meaningful none controlling relationship.

Sorry to break it to you, but I have had some very attractive partners, and that is attractive inside and out. So I can handle myself just fine. You dont have to be a jackass to attract a quality girl. Treat her right, be confident in yourself and your relationship, and have fun. But that wont work because you are respecting them and allowing them to be themselves.

I will hit you up for relationship advice mate, got you on speed dial.  Mate, I am not about to be cheated on, but thanks for your concern.

Nope they wont go around with me because I am nice, they will go around with me because I have confidence within myself, because they will have fun with me and because they can have a meaningful relationship. But your concern for me is really touching. Obviously what you are doing is working for you and congrats on that. Your views are spot on and I think any girl would be lucky to have such an amazing guy like yourself.


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> ﻿Hmm, you had control over the relationship, lucky girl to be in a controlling relationship. Bet she is upset that it didnt work out. Hope she has found someone who treats her right.


what makes you thnk that being in control automatically means "evil", i mean someone has to be the "shot caller". the only way it would be bad is if i was in control and taking advantage of her, which i never said i did. you are just pulling things out of the air.

ok, i was in control so i tell her, no everything is going to be ok, the way you are feeling is understandable cus of this and that, stay calm. <--- i'm taking control here so i am automatically an A-hole based on your reasoning?



> Good for you, you once had girls all over you because you treated them poorly, I am really happy that you experienced that. Sounds like you will never have a girl interested in you again, but live in the past, where you were a god. I am struggling not to look up at you right now with envy. Screw it.. Bud you rock, all those girl, man you must have been living the life. Did they do an MTV show on you? Do you have a copy I could borrow?


first of, i never said i treated them poorly. that is you putting words in my mouth. second, i did have females like flies on dookie... why should i lie to you and brag, this is true, you want to ask my brothers???? they witness this first hadn, in fact, they learned from me when i was SA free. heck, i use to spank my teacher in the butt in front of the whole class and she would not say anything to me, of course, this was back in 9th grade.



> Sexist... you look down on women. You think men are better then women. You my bestest bud, are sexist. congrats on that, I dislike you because of it.


i look down on women that are shorter than me, other then that, no. but i will admit, if the female is stupid, what am i to do? deny that she is stupid? would you deny that yourself? what would you do if you encountered a stupid lady? don't tell me stupid ladies do not exists?



> Nope, you have a warped view on women. You belittle them and you talk poorly about them. You give men a bad name and you are the reason why some girls treat men poorly. Women look good for themselves, they dress up for themselves and enjoy looking good. Dont think they do it for you.


this is finding an excuse for your incompetence. what does me treating females in any way have to do with how females treat you? is like saying, i hate brad pitt cus the females pay more attention to him than me. c'mon man. me, him, treating females in anyway does not mean anything why females treat you the way they do.



> I am not in a hell hole. I am single. I enjoy my life without a partner, I enjoyed my life just as much with one. I am single and sorting out my sa issues and have made incredible progress. I put that down to being single and being able to focus on me. If you want advice, learn how to be happy by yourself, learn how to respect women and then maybe you could have a meaningful none controlling relationship.


a man cannot be truly happy with out their better half, no matter how you lay it out on me. it has always been known since ancient history that a man with out a woman walks alone and lost. of course, i am alone and i'm not ashamed to say it but i will never swallow the notion that a man who is alone is happy with out a partner.



> Sorry to break it to you, but I have had some very attractive partners, and that is attractive inside and out. So I can handle myself just fine. You dont have to be a jackass to attract a quality girl. Treat her right, be confident in yourself and your relationship, and have fun. But that wont work because you are respecting them and allowing them to be themselves.


hey, there is someone for everyone in this world. but my way of seeing females is not the only way to get females. you, your uncle, your brother, your male friend, shreck, superman, will always have a female waiting. there is a female for everyone, even if you are the ugliest person in the whole world!



> I will hit you up for relationship advice mate, got you on speed dial. Mate, I am not about to be cheated on, but thanks for your concern.
> 
> Nope they wont go around with me because I am nice, they will go around with me because I have confidence within myself, because they will have fun with me and because they can have a meaningful relationship. But your concern for me is really touching. Obviously what you are doing is working for you and congrats on that. Your views are spot on and I think any girl would be lucky to have such an amazing guy like yourself.


if you did hit me up i would give you advice, females are not that complicated, it is harder for them to understand you.

if you are able to find a healthy and meaningful relationship, i admire you. if not, don't talk to me about relationships. don't tell me why females go for you.

is not complicated man. i GTG though, labor day weekend is over, work tomorrow.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

Names and numbers, oh, that was the reason why you are requesting me call your brothers right. 

You just spent the whole time generalising women and belittling them. Now you try to spin it back, seriously man, you showed your hand long ago, dont try to spin **** now. It is all in your previous post. 

I am not the one with poor views on women. I actually havent been treated poorly by women and I am far for incompetent. I was just referring to small percentage of women which you form all your negative basis from. 

I would never hit you up for dating advice, you would send my back to the dark ages with a stick beating women over the head. Sorry man, times have changed, maybe update your course material. 

I actually understand women, but we have very different understandings on women. I can respect them and have meaningful friendships and relationship. I dont get used and they dont get treated like dirt. I think my understand works for me. 

I am able to find healthy meaningful relationship. Why because women are not what you think. But thanks for admiring me. I feel all warm inside with your justification. :high5

You seem to assume that I have had no dating experience or that I have only ever been walked on and treated like dirt. There are some really quality girls in this world and you dont have to treat them poorly to maintain their interest. 

We live two different lives with two different views on the world.


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> ﻿Names and numbers, oh, that was the reason why you are requesting me call your brothers right.


that was just a figure of speech.



> You just spent the whole time generalising women and belittling them. Now you try to spin it back, seriously man, you showed your hand long ago, dont try to spin **** now. It is all in your previous post.


i did say some comments towards females that may sound harsh to you but i never said i hate them. i'm just saying that i was raised not idolizing females. i may be old fashion but i am not wrong in this way of thinking cus i don't harm anyone. i'm just not right in your eyes which is understandable just as you are not right in mine.

out of curiosity, what would you do in the following questions. (not saying that i relate to these questions, just asking)

your girlfriend does not want to cook for you or clean the house while you go to work and pay the bills?

you like to work on cars but your GF says that you spend more time on the car than her and she gets mad and angry?

your GF cheated on you?

your GF screams every time she gets irritated and you tell her to stop but she doesn't and keep babbling?

point is, there is only one solution to these. i know that 50/50 is not the answer though. that's why i feel how i feel about most females.



> I am not the one with poor views on women. I actually havent been treated poorly by women and I am far for incompetent. I was just referring to small percentage of women which you form all your negative basis from.


well, you say i have poor views towards women, so that means you must have good views towards them. so why are you single? by choice?

by the way, i haven't been treated poorly by women in a sense that they abused me but more in that most don't understand. most don't know how to treat a guy. in other words, the majority argue for no reason, what, hormones? PMS?



> I would never hit you up for dating advice, you would send my back to the dark ages with a stick beating women over the head. Sorry man, times have changed, maybe update your course material.


i think i need to be more "manly" and direct.



> I actually understand women, but we have very different understandings on women. I can respect them and have meaningful friendships and relationship. I dont get used and they dont get treated like dirt. I think my understand works for me.


good for you, what ever works. but if i was in that situation, i would not feel myself. i don't think i can be "friends" with a female. unless she likes what i like. how can you be friends with a female and not feel "girly"? do you talk about make up and stuff? the latest hollywood gossip perhaps?



> I am able to find healthy meaningful relationship. Why because women are not what you think. But thanks for admiring me. I feel all warm inside with your justification.


is not admiring, im actually saying to keep it up if it works for you. i would admire you if you where going out with jessica simpson though.



> We live two different lives with two different views on the world.


i think that has been proven since the beginning.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

mrfixit said:


> that was just a figure of speech.
> 
> i did say some comments towards females that may sound harsh to you but i never said i hate them. i'm just saying that i was raised not idolizing females. i may be old fashion but i am not wrong in this way of thinking cus i don't harm anyone. i'm just not right in your eyes which is understandable just as you are not right in mine.
> 
> ...


out of curiosity, what would you do in the following questions. (not saying that i relate to these questions, just asking)

*your girlfriend does not want to cook for you or clean the house while you go to work and pay the bills? *Chances are the girl I date would work too and we would both do the cooking and cleaning. I enjoy cooking. I would not find myself in that situation. I would not date a girl like that.

*you like to work on cars but your GF says that you spend more time on the car than her and she gets mad and angry?* Lol, not going to change much. Open to discussion. I have never been in a controlling relationship.

*your GF cheated on you?* Walk, pretty simple

*your GF screams every time she gets irritated and you tell her to stop but she doesn't and keep babbling?* Talk, if nothing is going to change after trying the walk.

I will not find myself in any of those situations. Why? Because I dont date that type of girl.

Since I was 15 I have spent all bar 18 months in a relationship. 6 months when I was in high school and the past 12 months. The last 12 month yes by choice. Why would someone do that? Because I want to improve myself, it is a lot easier to work on yourself and work on sa when you are completely at ease with yourself. I would do it all again with the progress I have made.

I have gone from engaged to dating to being single. I am looking to start dating again next year once I move to canada and setting into life.

You dont think you can be friends with girls? why would you want to date them then? I share common interest with girls. I even have female friends on here. They like to talk. I like to talk. Have I had a discussion about make up? No.

You place yourself and guys above women. That is what I see as wrong. What would you think if you were a female? I think you would be a feminist hating males. I doubt you would be the girl idolizing them.

You strike me as never having has a good relationship with a female. Only ever been around and see the *****y ones.

You are very disrespectful toward women. That is my view, yours is different. But you cant deny that you respect women less then men.


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> your girlfriend does not want to cook for you or clean the house while you go to work and pay the bills? Chances are the girl I date would work too and we would both do the cooking and cleaning. I enjoy cooking. I would not find myself in that situation. I would not date a girl like that.


the thing is that you won't know that she really is what she claims to be in the beginning. people like to portray themselves as this and that but when you get to know them for a while is when the truth comes out. heck, you can be dating a girl for months and not really know her that well (like you think you might) until you both actually move together. at this stage is when the two of you have made a bond/history. the feelings grow and is not as easy as just walking away. this is what i know. so you saying "we would both do the cooking and cleaning." is actually can be done but that's if both minds are mutual and everyone knows women are from mars and men from earth.

i thought my question was self explanatory since i said your GF does not want to cook for you or clean, implying living together. so that's not a valid answer. let me rephrase is.

after going out with your GF for 2 years (<- implying that you believe she fits your taste), you two decide to move in together and after being living together for a few months, you find out how she really is. she does not cook (well very little), she does not want to clean and leaves her clothes all over the place, what would you do then?



> you like to work on cars but your GF says that you spend more time on the car than her and she gets mad and angry? Lol, not going to change much. Open to discussion. I have never been in a controlling relationship.


why laugh, you don't see the point at hand. just replace speding time with car with whatever you enjoy doing in your man cave or in your geek cave fortress of solitude.

she saying this is not being controlling, actually. that is the female throwing tantrums like a little kid. that's a female not understanding the male alone time. so she gets mad, why? she ruins the day by making a big deal out of nothing.

don't get confused. she sounds like being too needy.



> your GF cheated on you? Walk, pretty simple


simple? you actually love your GF since you are with her, unless you are using her for something and making her believe you love her when you don't. so since you love her that means there's a HUGE connection that you have for her. you bought her a ring. she is your friend and have opened up like a big ***** cat and purred. she said she loved you many times. now, you find out from joe blow that she cheated on you with bob. so you are just going to walk away?

unless you are a womanizer with other females at the ready, perhaps. but thats a very big low blow for you. don't make it seem is as easy as walking away after taking a piss.



> your GF screams every time she gets irritated and you tell her to stop but she doesn't and keep babbling? Talk, if nothing is going to change after trying the walk.


talk? what makes you think that talking after walking is going to change anything since the talking before the walking didn't do anything to shut her up? unless the walking you did was to Dr. phil and told you the solution.



> I will not find myself in any of those situations. Why? Because I dont date that type of girl.


look at explanation #1



> Since I was 15 I have spent all bar 18 months in a relationship. 6 months when I was in high school and the past 12 months. The last 12 month yes by choice. Why would someone do that? Because I want to improve myself, it is a lot easier to work on yourself and work on sa when you are completely at ease with yourself. I would do it all again with the progress I have made.
> 
> I have gone from engaged to dating to being single. I am looking to start dating again next year once I move to canada and setting into life.


where are your precious female friends to help you there nice guy?



> You dont think you can be friends with girls?


lets see here. i like to work on cars and do garage projects. she likes to do female stuff. i watch history, discovery, DIY, channels, she likes to watch sex in the city. i like to watch movies with action and she likes movies like gliter. females like to gossip about so and so "like, OMG" i don't.

what could i possibly have in common with females to be friends with one? nothing.



> why would you want to date them then?


gee this is a hard one... let me think... to find love, to find the "one". to make a future and live the american dream. when i was younger, to get booty (not that i ever did but that was mostly my motivation), but i'm mature now, very mature.



> I share common interest with girls. I even have female friends on here. They like to talk. I like to talk. Have I had a discussion about make up? No.


oh, so you pluck your eyebrows and use make up. you shave your body and pamper yourself. ok you do have common interests with female. to each their own.



> You place yourself and guys above women. That is what I see as wrong. What would you think if you were a female?
> 
> I think you would be a feminist hating males. I doubt you would be the girl idolizing them.


why you ask what would i think if i was a female? is that what have you been thinking about yourself?

i don't put myself above women, like i said i was not raised idolizing females and i speak part from experience and part cus i see how females really are and for some reason i don't find it fair for a guy to put up with a females PMS so he can get 10-15 minutes of a good time.

i have watched wife swap tv show a few times and when i do the females are mean and have a big mouth.

also, look at jon and kate plus 8 tv show (not that i watched the show but i saw the drama through the media). he was nice to her and she would put him down. she was the one wearing the pants in the house. now, i could bet a dollar that if this jon had put her below him, he would not have ended up where he did.



> You strike me as never having has a good relationship with a female. Only ever been around and see the *****y ones.


what is a good relationship to you in your little world? i've been with 2 females, others where just acquaintances. i based my opinion from them and from the females i see around me that i have had the pleasure to meet. the only way i would put up with a females drama is if i'm hugh hefner.

good luck with your lady "friends" though.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

Well you have made all your questions easy to answer. I would walk on every occasion. Why because she would not be the one for me. If I wanted something which I was happy with, but didnt feel right I would have got married earlier this year. What bad do you have to say about that? To clarify, I was not cheated on or treated badly in anyway. And that was a 50/50 partnership. I was free to do what I want, see my friends, spend weekends riding motorcycles out in the mountains. 

So if I found myself in a relationship which I was not happy in because of all the scenarios or any you posted and we could not work out our differences then I would not stay. Simple. I would rather be single then in a relationship I am not happy in. You seem to have different ideas, thats cool, because you are more man then me. I am not afraid of being single.

The thing which I dont get is you want to find the 'one' and so on, yet friendship is a huge part of a relationship. If you cant be friends with girls how do you expect to date one, spend a large part of your life with one? That is a lot of time if you can not enjoy a girls company. 

You sound very mature  

Nice way to avoid answering. Please answer. If you were a female, you would be? 

Not every woman takes her pms out on a guy, and 10-15 minutes of good times? If sex is the only good times you get out a relationship why be in one? 

Whats the point, he ended up with a controlling *****, your lucky future wife will end up with a controlling husband. There are losers on both sides of the fence. 

Well congrats on your two relationship and I wish you another one, seems like a long shot and another two is completely out of reach.  But as you said, there is someone out there for everyone, you are no exception. Let me know when you find the lucky girl, I will send my condolences to her. 

And why do you want to know where my female friends are? I thought you would be more interested in knowing my male ones. Let me know what you actually want and I will work out where they are and what they are doing. Sounds like a pain in the *** but I guess you just like to get your nose in other peoples business. 

I find it funny that you make fun of the fact I have friends which are female. Pretty sure you could learn a thing or two from having some female friends.


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> Well you have made all your questions easy to answer. I would walk on every occasion. Why because she would not be the one for me. If I wanted something which I was happy with, but didnt feel right I would have got married earlier this year. What bad do you have to say about that? To clarify, I was not cheated on or treated badly in anyway. And that was a 50/50 partnership. I was free to do what I want, see my friends, spend weekends riding motorcycles out in the mountains.
> 
> So if I found myself in a relationship which I was not happy in because of all the scenarios or any you posted and we could not work out our differences then I would not stay. Simple. I would rather be single then in a relationship I am not happy in. You seem to have different ideas, thats cool, because you are more man then me. I am not afraid of being single.


those questions where easy to answer for you, but you did not answer what would actually happen in real life. if i ask some one, can you build a house? and he answers, yes i can <- easy answer... and he would move on with life because his job does not require for him to build houses (he doesn't have to prove he can), he is a lawyer with very high confidence. can he actually build a house by himself? probably not. now, if you ask someone who is in the house construction business the same question and he says YES, i'm pretty sure he has more probability of building a house. would the house be top of the line with in code? probably not. point is, when i asked you those questions is cus everyone goes through them, you, your dad, your mom, your friends. so when you say they are easy to answer cus how i asked them shows that you actually are that lawyer saying he can build a house.

relationships are very complicated for everyone because people have the tendency of taking things for granted and after loosing what they take for granted is when they get a reality check. so you saying that you would walk on every occasion actually means you do not have relationship experience. sure, you can walk away after knowing a female for a couple of days, maybe months but not when the two of you have dedicated a lot of time and patience (lets say 5 years)... please! dude.

case in point. it's this waht you said?...

"If I wanted something which I was happy with, but didnt feel right I would have got married earlier this year. What bad do you have to say about that? To clarify, I was not cheated on or treated badly in anyway. And that was a 50/50 partnership. I was free to do what I want, see my friends, spend weekends riding motorcycles out in the mountains."...

base on your philosophy you should have not even gone to the point of getting engaged cus something didn't go right in your relationship.... so if there was no trouble in paradise then why did you walk away from paradise since you say it was a 50/50 relationship? i guess the 50/50 didn't work.

the being free part does not come into the equation cus everyone is free in a relationship, that is not my point. my point is that once you spend enough time with her and she does not get her way, she becomes *****y. she has to be very submissive for her to not say anything that she doesnt agree with. if she is submissive, you are the ALPHA male which i don't think you are.

those are not scenarios, those are real life experiences that people go through. you make it seem like everyone in a relationship is happy through out the whole relationship. there are ups and downs, that is obvious. you fail to see that which i'm not going to explain again.

hell yeah man we are very different in thought. and i'm not afraid of being single either, in fact, that is what i have chosed voluntary and part due to my SA, but i chose it. there are females who would give me a chance at present time but i choose not to. all i see are hoochies, coke heads, very unstable females. maybe after i find me a church, decent, with morals, female i will.



> The thing which I dont get is you want to find the 'one' and so on, yet friendship is a huge part of a relationship. If you cant be friends with girls how do you expect to date one, spend a large part of your life with one? That is a lot of time if you can not enjoy a girls company.


your definition of "friend" is very different than mine. when i dated a female, i never considered her as my friend. of course, i would not tell her this cus females are crazy! they twists words around and make them their own.



> Nice way to avoid answering. Please answer. If you were a female, you would be?


this doesn't even matter cus it has not point behind it. pointless!



> Not every woman takes her pms out on a guy, and 10-15 minutes of good times? If sex is the only good times you get out a relationship why be in one?


dude, you are inexperience. sounds like you haven't been in a relationship long enough to know what's real. it is always sh*ts and giggles in the beginning, but that fades after so many years, which the ones who last would fix and the ones that cannot will fail. the divorce rate is very high. keep dreaming.

and i already explain that everyone looks for their better half but it is not easy so stop asking why be with one.



> I find it funny that you make fun of the fact I have friends which are female. Pretty sure you could learn a thing or two from having some female friends.


hmmm.. like what? like what you have learned? how do you benefit from having a female friend?

your answers are all over the place man. you loose the subject at hand easy... just like a female. did you powder your shinny nose yet? plus, you sound like jon from 'jon and kate plus 8'... take it easy jon.

damn, i've done a lot of explanation here almost as much i did to my ex :|... i did it while drunk though.


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## Typical Guy (Mar 30, 2009)

mrfixit said:


> damn, i've done a lot of explanation here almost as much i did to my ex :|... *i did it while drunk though*.


Well, that would explain a lot but I still say you're completely out of your mind.

Your problems go much deeper then SA.


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## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

Xeros said:


> I'm 22 and literally have no contact outside of my family. Other than my severe fear of social situations, I also have this insane arrogance.
> 
> Every person I meet,I think I'm better than. More intelligent for the most part.
> 
> ...


Our school system breeds us to be this way. Dealing with teachers who are snobs usually and to please them wears on us and influences us. If we are not confident, its hard to please an employer or deal with co-workers. Or the common occurence of to deal with issues with companies that overcharge us.

If you can get in touch with your spirit, the intention part of you, and to see others in that way, the goodness, instead of their level of knowledge...that is the way out..to see things in another perspective....people who are smart are not necessarily good, nice or trustworthy or open-minded to learning new things.. now are they? they aren't the cat's meow really...you are describing the critical part of the brain only...you have to consider cherishing other qualities in yourself...and find others that also cherish those things...a wider picture of others...


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> Well, that would explain a lot but I still say you're completely out of your mind.
> 
> Your problems go much deeper then SA.


thank you very much Dr. phil. i feel much better thanks 

let me guess... hmmm.... one or both of your parents are alcoholics... or someone close that you know/did know is/was.


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## Typical Guy (Mar 30, 2009)

mrfixit said:


> thank you very much Dr. phil. i feel much better thanks
> 
> let me guess... hmmm.... one or both of your parents are alcoholics... or someone close that you know/did know is/was.


No. I'm a recovering alcoholic, but I'm the only one in my family.

I think you're an alcoholic, too. Have you ever considered getting help?


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

Hey Mrfixit, I missed you, my heart longs for you words, your guidance. Your women hatin ways.

Anyway, 5+ years? I did 6+. So I have experienced ups and downs in a relationship. I have experienced the good and the bad. We had a long engagement and things changed, it ended up with us being close friends more then lovers. There was something missing. 

All I have seen is you going out hard *** women hater and trying to tone it down a bit when you saw how wrong your original posts were. My story has stayed the same. 

You question my experience within relationships, I have been man enough to put mine out, which you have just bagged the **** out of, but thats cool because even if I did say I dated jessica simpson for 6+ year you would find so many problems with that. I am just using your example from earlier. 

One thing which we are on the same page about.. Is we are single by choice. Which you also questioned why anyone would be single. Would love to hear when you meet someone. But we both know you wont. Enjoy your single life bud, sounds like your made for it. 

I think I was the only person bored enough and looking for entertainment. Maybe I need to get out of an office job. idk. All the best bud. This got old a long time ago.


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> ﻿No. I'm a recovering alcoholic, but I'm the only one in my family.
> 
> I think you're an alcoholic, too. Have you ever considered getting help?


my point still stands.... you judge me cus of your experience with alcohol and not by the content of what i have said. not everyone is the same though. i'm not an alcoholic cus i can quit whenever i want. i barely started about 3 months ago... so i don't need help cus i can quit on my own. it does not control me.

jon,

no problem man, i still stand my ground cus that's what i have always been doing most of my life. i have fought for my rights 20 years plus, you think this thread is something i'm not keeping track off? i still remember your very first post.

that's something i have learned a long time ago, to stand my ground. actually this is a key thing for not getting bullied. at any rate, you felt you could tell me that i'm wrong, now you fail too prove it for the simple fact the way you answered my questions. i believe i have done more explanation that you have. go back and look... unless your brain cannot handle it. i'm not pushing you, just proving a point. lets call it quits, like you have already.

so now you know... next time don't bother to write to me if you cannot back it up.

take it easy.


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## Jay721 (Nov 10, 2014)

RJF said:


> I wouldn't care nearly as much if it didn't seem like he were trying to justify all of it.
> 
> Admitting there's something wrong is one thing.


It's called being arrogant you stupid ****. The whole point of them starting this thread was because they want help. I'm the exact same as this person I felt like I was reading something that I had written myself. I feel like nobody has any common sense you're a prime example of my arrogance.

I know this thread is old but you hit a nerve and I had to reply.


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