# Women what do you mean when you say...



## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

I'm looking for a guy that takes care of himself? That phrase drives me crazy because to me it's such a broad term. It's as if it was created by women so that they'd have this broad category where they could say sorry you don't take care of yourself. Is it an attempt to not appear shallow when you are judging someone? 


Guy has short hair. Sorry you don't take care of yourself, you chop your hair off instead of styling it.

Guy has long hair. Sorry you don't take care of yourself.


Guy doesn't have hobbies. Sorry you don't take care of yourself mentally.

Guy has a beard. Sorry you don't take care of yourself.

Guy wears jeans. Sorry you don't take care of yourself.


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## person86 (Aug 10, 2006)

I've always figured it usually means something like "showers, doesn't have a unibrow and wears clothes that are free from huge holes and stains."

But I'm not a woman.


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## meggiehamilton (Nov 12, 2003)

I could take that phrase one of two ways.



> I'm looking for a guy that takes care of himself?


Either they are looking for a guy who can take care of themselves financially and has a good job, or they are looking for a guy who takes care of his appearance. :stu


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## GraceLikeRain (Nov 9, 2003)

meggiehamilton said:


> I could take that phrase one of two ways.
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 :agree


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

meggiehamilton said:


> I could take that phrase one of two ways.
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But what's a good job?

In my area I'd say most jobs are bad jobs. Most jobs pay $35,000 per year. The strange thing is there's a hole between $40k-$100k in which yeah you have some money but you still can't afford a house. If you make like $150,000 you can get a little house. Few jobs actually pay this much. Typically couples that own a house each make $70,000. So I guess I just answered my own question. A good job is one that pays $70,000. Not many of these out there though. You either have to be way up in the management structure or well skilled in the IT industry.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

For me, I would mean someone who showers, brushes his hair, brushes his teeth regularly, wears clothes that are not stained and/or acid-washed, and does not weigh 900 pounds.


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## GraceLikeRain (Nov 9, 2003)

scairy said:


> meggiehamilton said:
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> > I could take that phrase one of two ways.
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If a woman is just concerned with how much money you make (meaning, how much you can spend on her), then she's probably not worth it.


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## itsmemaggi (Sep 26, 2005)

I disagree with it to some extent. I like it when a guy lets me take care of him. Though I DO like to know he could do it, himself. Just that he LETS me do it is nice, though.

xoxo
Maggi


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## Becky (Nov 5, 2003)

itsmemaggi said:


> I disagree with it to some extent. I like it when a guy lets me take care of him. Though I DO like to know he could do it, himself. Just that he LETS me do it is nice, though.
> 
> xoxo
> Maggi


 :ditto It's nice to know he can cook for himself and trim his goatee, but it's also nice that he'll let me do those things for him  It's even nicer when he cooks for me :yes


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

I never use that phrase. :con


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## IndigoGirl (Aug 13, 2006)

whiteclouds said:


> I never use that phrase. :con


:ditto


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## Panic Prone (Mar 5, 2006)

A guy thats clean. Whatever hair style he has it has to look healthy, neat, clean. Whether long or short. Facial hair either smooth or if has hair on face it has to be trimmed. Clothes can't be ragidy. Neat and clean. Don't necessarily have to be designer just look presentable. Good hygiene. Shows he cares about how he presents himself. That pretty much sums it up based on appearance.


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## mayblue (Oct 1, 2005)

I've seen guys using the phrase too about girls. I always assumed it meant "no fatties."


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## pyramidsong (Apr 17, 2005)

:lol @ mayblue.

Anyway, if I like a guy, as long as he showers, brushes his teeth and moves his *** off the couch from time to time, it's cool. A job is good too, although I wouldn't automatically dismiss a guy for being unemployed, people have all kinds of reasons and it's often temporary anyway. I don't think most women require a beefcake-y male model with a six-figure salary. And those who do you're best to steer clear of anyway.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

pyramidsong said:


> :lol @ mayblue.
> I don't think most women require a beefcake-y male model with a six-figure salary. And those who do you're best to steer clear of anyway.


That's a relief! opcorn
I try to be athletic, but the Paxil fat is next to impossible to burn off.
I have a good job, but it ain't six figures!


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

Comes off as a red flag and I always assume the woman is thinking: "Take care of me"


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

Drella's_Rock_Follies said:


> For me, I would mean someone who showers, brushes his hair, brushes his teeth regularly, wears clothes that are not stained and/or acid-washed, and does not weigh 900 pounds.


That's pretty much how I take that question too. I've never taken that question in a financial context :stu



Prodigal_Son said:


> Comes off as a red flag and I always assume the woman is thinking: "Take care of me"


I'd rather take care of myself than give that responsibility to someone else.


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## Laura (Nov 12, 2003)

...


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## Amelia (Nov 24, 2003)

scairy said:


> I'm looking for a guy that takes care of himself?


For me, it means three things: hygiene, hygiene and hygiene. He must be clean in his person and habits!


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## michellejl (Aug 20, 2006)

Good hygiene...showers daily, deodorant, clean clothes, neat in appearance...all that stuff...

Basically the opposite of a slob.


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

Showers and brushes his teeth, shaves, deodorant, clean clothes, he washes his hands after he goes to the washroom, that he washes his shower and dishes regularly


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## Karla (Dec 26, 2005)

GraceLikeRain said:


> scairy said:
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> > meggiehamilton said:
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i think that if a woman makes 70k a year it's only fair to her that the guy also makes the same. personally if i made that much i wouldn't want to be with someone who is only making 40k or something. if that makes me shallow than so be it but that's just what i think.


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## justagirl04 (Sep 17, 2006)

I mean...

I want a guy who showers regulary, exercises, isn't overweight (in the sense of being on the verge of a heart attack) and cares about how he appears to the general public, not trashy looking (I think you know what I mean, no hole ridden nascar tees please!) lol 

personally I love a guy w/ facial hair!


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## instil (Aug 19, 2005)

SAgirl said:


> that he washes his shower and dishes regularly


lets not get too crazy here, i mean...we are still guys. Cleaning the shower and washing dishes are not near the top of our to-do list. Anyway, you (girls) wont find out the TRUTH about that until youve already been dating for a while, because we know to do the dishes and clean the shower before a girl comes over for the first time. You think its ALWAYS vaccummed and spotless like this?!?!


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Karla said:


> GraceLikeRain said:
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I wouldn't worry about shallowness. Honesty is of much greater value in my opinion.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

justagirl04 said:


> I mean...
> 
> I want a guy who showers regulary, exercises, isn't overweight (in the sense of being on the verge of a heart attack) and cares about how he appears to the general public, not trashy looking (I think you know what I mean, no hole ridden nascar tees please!) lol
> 
> personally I love a guy w/ facial hair!


I always interpreted the term taking care of himself as meaning no facial hair. I guess this term is just vague. Every women uses it, it just means different things to different women.


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## sangha (May 9, 2006)

mayblue said:


> I've seen guys using the phrase too about girls. I always assumed it meant "no fatties."


That's because guys want a girl who will take care of THEM


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## noregrets (May 4, 2006)

scairy said:


> In my area I'd say most jobs are bad jobs. Most jobs pay $35,000 per year. The strange thing is there's a hole between $40k-$100k in which yeah you have some money but you still can't afford a house. If you make like $150,000 you can get a little house. Few jobs actually pay this much. Typically couples that own a house each make $70,000. So I guess I just answered my own question. A good job is one that pays $70,000. Not many of these out there though. You either have to be way up in the management structure or well skilled in the IT industry.


I make like $45,000 and can easily afford a house on my salary alone. *shrug*


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

noregrets said:


> scairy said:
> 
> 
> > In my area I'd say most jobs are bad jobs. Most jobs pay $35,000 per year. The strange thing is there's a hole between $40k-$100k in which yeah you have some money but you still can't afford a house. If you make like $150,000 you can get a little house. Few jobs actually pay this much. Typically couples that own a house each make $70,000. So I guess I just answered my own question. A good job is one that pays $70,000. Not many of these out there though. You either have to be way up in the management structure or well skilled in the IT industry.
> ...


Maybe I'll make a plan to leave to another area.


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## GreyCloud (Jan 9, 2006)

scairy said:


> noregrets said:
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> > scairy said:
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lol, yeah. the houses in my area are around 300k and that's just a townhouse.


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## shy_chick (Sep 27, 2006)

Some of these posts about fatties etc. make me laugh :lol 

I would see it as meaning appearance as said before, making an effort with hygiene, clean clothes, possibly dressing up for going on a date.

I suppose also not lazy, or apathetic, willing to make an effort in general, interested in life, and willing to try with relationships.

It could be financially independent e.g. not living at home dependent on parents, or emotionally secure, or physically able to defend themselves.


It is quite vague and could mean many things actually. Maybe you could be sensitive and ask her what she means as you want to understand?!


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## instil (Aug 19, 2005)

shy_chick said:


> It is quite vague and could mean many things actually. Maybe you could be sensitive and ask her what she means as you want to understand?!


But a guy who takes good care of himself always knows instantly how to interpret a womans vague comment into exactly what she meant. By asking this question to her, he'll ruin his whole image!!!!!!!!! Dont do it man.

& take (good) care


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

GreyCloud said:


> scairy said:
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Believe it or not that's insanely cheap in my area. In fact you can't find any type of house that cheap.

3 bed 2 bath 1100-1200 square feet you're looking at 850,000 to $900,000. For a real nice 3 bd 2 bth with this square footage you're in the low $1,000,000 range


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

scairy said:


> I'm looking for a guy that takes care of himself?


Familiar with the "No Fat Chicks" bumper sticker? Well, this is the polite female way of saying the same thing about men.


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

Drella's_Rock_Follies said:


> wears clothes that are not stained and/or acid-washed


You mean my acid-wash jeans aren't cool anymore?


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

Pretty much, if you are living at home with your mom, like many of us, you are screwed, with some exceptions.


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