# Has anyone been upset from going to therapy?



## SHYGIRLAJB (Apr 29, 2011)

Hi Everyone

Sorry not sure of the title I wanted to say really. A couple of weeks a go went to my therapy lady. After that session, things have been chewing on my mind and she totally upset me. She said I was like a child and things and made me feel like im a total bum and do absolutely nothing. I don't really want to go to therapy on Wednesday. :afr

Has anyone else been upset from their therapy person, if so what did you do??


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## rainbowOne (Sep 26, 2010)

Yeah, my therapist once told me that 'maybe if I actually wore nice clothes and put makeup on, I'd look good instead of bad'

I was sooo angry. Actually I had a big argument and quit therapy...uh, but I don't reccomend that. 
If you don't get on with her, write a letter to your GP and ask if you can change therapists,you might not be able to, but sometimes you get lucky and can have a different one.


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## SHYGIRLAJB (Apr 29, 2011)

Hi 

Thanks for replying. I have only got 3 or 4 sessions left. I think her answer is if I keep myself busy, like doing loads of things rather than sit around not doing much. I wouldn't be depressed and would think about things cos I will be busy. I think she is trying to get me to buck up my ideas and get my bum into gear, but somehow it hasn't worked.

Just don't know, all what I know is what she said did make me feel really really bad.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

I quite enjoy therapy. But then again. I have a great therapist & doctor.

- EGD.


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## velocicaur (Aug 8, 2009)

Perhaps she tried to use a different approach with you last time. It has you thinking about it, so she obviously hit some buttons with her comments. This could be the start of something good.


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## SHYGIRLAJB (Apr 29, 2011)

Hmmm I don't know, i'm dreading Wednesday(my next session). I don't really want to go. God knows what she is going to say next.


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## rumjungle (Feb 13, 2009)

I'm sorry this happened to you shygirlajb, if your therapist is negative and makes you feel bad about yourself try and find another one. The entire point of therapy is to help build up self-esteem so that you can make progress in your life, the 'tough love' approach doesn't work. You are also entirely within your right to give that therapist a piece of your mind, they don't sound at all compassionate or helpful.


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## Cornerstone (Jun 30, 2011)

Not judging your case personally, i don't know you so i couldn't possibly do that. But I do want to say this. Some people expect to go to a therapist and expect them to keep them in their "bubble". Say nice things, make them feel better about themselves etc. But what help is that?
Maybe sometimes it is better to confront someone with some unhealthy behaviour, to irritate someone momentarily for the sake of making them better in the long run.


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## rainbowOne (Sep 26, 2010)

joinmartin said:


> Okay, first of all, that therapist of yours was talking crap.
> 
> It bothers me that a therapist would have used those kind of words to a client.
> 
> ...


Well, since this was an NHS therapist, he knew I couldn't go elsewhere. Besides, I think I have a bad reputation. I had about 3 different therapists in 3 years, and all 3 of them suddenly quit on me because they had mental breakdowns. Leaving me tossed between temporaries who have just one session with me before passing me on to the next poor thing. 
I don't exactly have high expectations of therapists :lol 
I think the NHS know full well that people have to take what they're given, or get nothing at all.


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## Dan iel (Feb 13, 2011)

rainbowOne said:


> Yeah, my therapist once told me that 'maybe if I actually wore nice clothes and put makeup on, I'd look good instead of bad'
> 
> I was sooo angry. Actually I had a big argument and quit therapy...uh, but I don't reccomend that.
> If you don't get on with her, write a letter to your GP and ask if you can change therapists,you might not be able to, but sometimes you get lucky and can have a different one.


Shocking


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## SHYGIRLAJB (Apr 29, 2011)

Hi thanks everyone for replying and things. 

Can't really change therapists now, as only have 3 or 4 sessions left. I might try and stick with the one at the moment. I will try and say that, yes she did really upset me. 

I am not sure what else she can convince me to do to help me change for me. My brain thinks otherwise. she probably trying to get me to think different hence the things she said. My brain just took offence. Yeah I know with therapy it isn't happy sailing all of the time, but hmmm I don't know. 

She did suggest to me that I should go for a walk every day to the local park and then perhaps have a sit down and then walk back, and she said I might even say hi to a few people (WTF). I have done some walking but not everyday to be fair. I have a problem wtih my knee and it gave way and had to use the whole footpath to steady myself. I am a bit loathe to go out on my own for a walk in case it happens again. I am sure she will just say oh more excuses or something. 

I am worrying about seeing her , silly but can't help it. Sorry for the ramble. 

Sorry just feeling a bit blahhhh and sad.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

Yes and I kept returning to acquire more damage until it chewed on my mind for months afterwards. I kept wondering if it was part of the therapy but later informed myself and had feedback from others and found out it was part of the therapist being abusive. If it's making you feel that bad then don't return, unless it was a once off or miscommunication.


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## SHYGIRLAJB (Apr 29, 2011)

odd_one_out said:


> Yes and I kept returning to acquire more damage until it chewed on my mind for months afterwards. I kept wondering if it was part of the therapy but later informed myself and had feedback from others and found out it was part of the therapist being abusive. If it's making you feel that bad then don't return, unless it was a once off or miscommunication.


Thanks for replying, I guess I will know more on Wednesday.


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## rockyraccoon (Dec 13, 2010)

I saw a clinical psychologist off and on for about 5 years and I got absolutely nowhere with him. Part of the reason why was because he kept trying to influence me to engage in anxiety provoking situations. However, because my anxiety was so severe, I never tried his recommendations because I feared if I did I would just get panic attacks. In the end, I just gave up on him and stopped seeing him entirely because it made me more depressed seeing him.


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## SHYGIRLAJB (Apr 29, 2011)

Aww sorry to hear that rockyraccoon. Do you see someone else?? Or not bothering for now. 

Well I have a few hours and then its therapist time, hmmm. Really anxious what she is going to say this time.


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## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

I sure have! And that says a lot because I tend to get along with pretty much everyone. 

I returned to her because she "fixed me" back in high school. Returning to her seemed like a huge disappointment for her though and she adopted the tough love attitude. She told me quite bluntly that I'd never graduate, have a career, get married, or have children, if I didn't do what she said. As if I was disobeying...? Starting off our sessions with threats left a sour taste in my mouth and I only managed to stay another four sessions before telling her I was NOT responding to her current methods and if she couldn't change tactics, I'd find someone else. She didn't change, so I found someone else. There's no sense paying someone that angers you. Her voice still haunts me two years later!


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## supersoshychick (Jun 4, 2009)

The only thing that upsets me about my therapist is that he's not helpful. He sits there, I talk, one hour is up....i go. Come back the next week and same thing over again. I expect some sort of advice and I get nothing!


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## fading (Nov 12, 2010)

It's best to be direct with therapists, it's hard to do with SA but if they did something to upset you, just tell them and they will either explain themselves or change their behavior (many of them try to be tough with you thinking it will help, but if you're in a certain frame of mind it's totally the wrong thing). If they don't do either of these then the therapist is probably not right for you.


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## SHYGIRLAJB (Apr 29, 2011)

Hi Everyone

seafolly - On no, hugs. I take it this other person is/ was much better.

supersoshychick - Do you still go there now? Or have you tried elsewhere??

fading - I did tell her that she upset me. She apologised for upsetting me, her intentions was to upset me or anything, basically I took the wording out of context and my brain, sort of didn't get what she was trying to say and things.

Well today was ok I suppose in the end, after everything was out in the open. At the moment I im stuck and struggling to move on. So we are looking at various different things. I have to think about. hmmm Not too sure on them really.


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## rockyraccoon (Dec 13, 2010)

SHYGIRLAJB said:


> Aww sorry to hear that rockyraccoon. Do you see someone else?? Or not bothering for now.
> 
> Well I have a few hours and then its therapist time, hmmm. Really anxious what she is going to say this time.


Right now I'm just seeing a psychiatrist for meds. But I did start a new job, and I explained to him about my anxiety/depression issues, and he took it very well and was very understanding. I might go another round with a therapist in the fall.


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## SHYGIRLAJB (Apr 29, 2011)

Really, ok. Well I have a couple of choices, to think about. My therapy lady said oh she could refer me to the following places :-

CBT Services, Im not too sure, as I did have some therapy 6 months back and it involved some cbt work looking through workbooks and then putting the information into your situation etc. Well the information went in one ear and out to the other, couldn't get the information to stick. Had to end up finishing that one. My worry is if it didn't work before, how is this going to work. 

Physiologist - She did say there is like a waiting list to see them, at least 1 year. 

and she did say she could check with the Physiatric Department at the local hospital to see what they can offer. - My brain is going overboard, thinking oh what happens if I have to stay there and things. Stupid I know but hmmm. 

I just don't know in what to do. hmmm. Perhaps no one can help me and the part of my brain that needs to be unlocked, will be locked for ever.


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## SHYGIRLAJB (Apr 29, 2011)

Oh grrr I don't what to do who to see. sighhhhh.


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## Elleire (Jul 24, 2011)

I'm sorry you've had such a tough time. Finding the right therapist for you can be a very hard, and very long, process. But when you do, it'll all be worth it.

I'm sure she didn't mean to offend you. But at least now, you have a little bit more information w/r to what you're looking for in a therapist. Maybe you'd rather someone who asks more questions, and "plants seeds" to allow you to arrive at your own questions and answers (with regards to what bothers you about yourself. It seems this therapist had made a guess, [most likely more than a guess, but of course I don't know you or her,] and asked you point-blank. Maybe that's not the right approach for YOU?)

So. I'd think about, and write down, what you hope to accomplish in therapy. What your ideal session would be like. How your therapist would interact with you.

velocisaur was correct in that it's not always going to be easy, and breakthroughs will often come out of dissecting the hard bits about ourselves. But those difficult parts SHOULD NEVER be on account of the client/therapist dynamic itself! She or he should set up a comfortable, safe place for you to talk about those difficult things -- not create MORE of them!

I'd have a look into psychodynamic psychotherapists. One of the key features of this approach is the establishment of a unique, calm, and accepting relationship between the therapist and the client. It can be as goal-based and practical as YOU want it to be. He or she could introduce workbooks, and real-life exercises (as you would do in CBT), at a pace that suits you.

Good luck!


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## Christina123 (May 26, 2011)

rainbowOne said:


> Yeah, my therapist once told me that 'maybe if I actually wore nice clothes and put makeup on, I'd look good instead of bad'
> /QUOTE]
> That is completely unprofessional.


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## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

Yeah, I've had my share of bad experiences with therapy. I remember the worst was when I was in the hospital for the first time. The therapist asked me about my sexual history, and when I said I had none he said, "Oh, that's very unusual".

Yeah—telling a suicidal 25 year old that it's "very unusual" to still be a virgin at that age doesn't help.


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

It's deep emotional equilibrium stuff, I see no shame in getting caught up in that.

Don't beat yourself up about it.

Breaking negative though patterns is a complete ****** to do, but it's possible. Just try and keep the happy going : D


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## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

SHYGIRLAJB said:


> Hmmm I don't know, i'm dreading Wednesday(my next session). I don't really want to go. God knows what she is going to say next.


She's one of the ones that are not into their job, and makes people have more problems. You surely deserve better and you deserve someone who cares and who has the emotional energy to give to you.

When we all lack motivation, we all are benefited by the spirit to help remind us. As in being a nice kind funny or caring person, or some kind of combonation of those things in a nonobnoxious way. The spirit energizes us to get moving and it is transferrable to others. If you can find a church that has someone who is kind and nice and not really dogmatic, that might help. If you can do selftalk that is positive that would help. I listen to Joel Osteen. I don't think many seem to get it that the person needs to actually feel good in an honest way. To be complimented and their strengths found and that every person who is hurting is always hurting for a good reason. I hope you find someone, or really several people in various roles as therapist, church, friends, that have some kind of good effect on you.


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## SHYGIRLAJB (Apr 29, 2011)

Erm thanks everyone. See this therapy lady tomorrow to discuss of where to go next. I still have not decided, just have not got a clue really. Well my therapy lady discussed with my GP and see what she thinks. 

I guess I will know more tomorrow. I am worrying about it, cos I don't know what to do.


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## SHYGIRLAJB (Apr 29, 2011)

Well have finished the sessions with her, it was pointless in carrying on, only had 2 more sessions left. Have not completely decided what to do next. She is going to speak with her team and see what they say. 

It is either a psychiatrist or psychologist(there is a long waiting list). She mentioned something about the Psychaitrist might assess me, if I need there help, then I guess it will be with them.


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## RoarOfTheMemphisBelle (Aug 4, 2011)

I think I got extremely lucky with my therapist.

It's the first one I've ever had, and she cuts all the bullsh*t but is still understanding and insightful. True, there are times when I disagree with what she says, but she seems to respect that, and change track to another solution.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

I told a therapist that I fear people and being judged and she said something like I don't believe people fear being judged. :/ I was like okkkk..but that's how I feel. So, you're telling me you think I'm just making this up. It pissed me off.


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## SHYGIRLAJB (Apr 29, 2011)

Thanks for replying. Well I finished with that therapy lady. She was going to look into what other things I could try. Received a phone call from her and she is referring me to see a Psychiatrist so they could assess me and see what is going on, rather than refferring me to see a Psychologist (1 years waiting list) to be told go and see a Psychiatrist. 

I am a bit anxious mind, but hmmm. I don't know.


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## Xande (Jul 18, 2011)

Hopefully everything turns out for the better!

I need to find a therapist. Not sure if I want to go with the one my pdoc referred me to or just look one up on psychologytoday.com ugh I hate making decisions that could have a big affect on me.


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## tinted (Jul 19, 2011)

i would advise you to change.I had a stupid therapist who told me to move to a different country away from my parents,ridiculous my SA was so bad that i couldn't leave the house without having panic attacks.

don't bother going to her again if it just makes you upset.


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