# Would my therapist's



## Eski (Aug 6, 2011)

Give me their honest opinion?, or would they just give me some out of a book advice?.

I have 2 therapists, ones a dr and the other is in training. I'm pretty sure the dr doesn't like me, i think i make her feel uncomfortable and awkward. While the one in training seems to be sort of indifferent, if anything i think she pitys me (she was pulling some sad faces like "aww" when i was talking about being depressed) but otherwise doesn't care either way.

The thing is, i'm getting the feeling that neither of them really want to deal with me, i was sent a letter today for a CBT appointment but the way the letter was worded is just making me paranoid. Same with the date, i was told our next visit would be in acouple of weeks but this letter has changed those weeks into months.

I feel like im being provoked into not going again.

If i was to sit down with them in the next session and just ask them questions like, do they want to be dealing with me, do i make them feel awkward, am i a hard person to deal with, am i incoherent ect ect. Would they give me their honest opinions or just give me some therapist out of a book response?.


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## Eski (Aug 6, 2011)

> Also keep in mind that people with SA tend to think everyone is thinking negative things about us. We mind-read a lot and more often than not, we are completely off base.


Yeah thats the thing, i'm really having a battle with my own mind here wondering if its me reading too much in to things because of SA or if its them and they really dont want me back... argh.


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## CoolSauce (Mar 6, 2012)

it's mainly what R91 said I believe. I have been questioning my latest therapist (she's only around 5-10 years older than me I think) a lot too and thought I made her feel uncomfortable but then the next time we talk I realise everything I've been stressing and thinking about was based on nothing and she was just chill as usual.

It's just their job for them. I have had a man who didn't give any personal advice and was very distant (although I 'm not sure if he was a therapist. It was around 4 years ago) and he seemed like he had an autistic disorder himself, even my parents later told me that they didn't like him at all. And I've had sympathic people who acted as if they understood me and gave examples of their own lives (upon which I commented that I thought she was just trying to make me feel comfortable in order to make me open up and make her job easier. Hehe, I'm like that too.)


But in the end they probably see several people like you per week and maybe even per day so while you leave and stress out at home over your last appoinmtent and are thinking about the one 2 weeks ahead of you they are just seeing tons of other patients and at the end of the day return to their wife/husband/children and probably don't think about you at all.



I did notice though that with me every therapist was different so I can't judge about yours ofcourse but if there really is no click you could always ditch them (been there done that)


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

Deleted


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

No, they are unlikely to answer those questions with direct answers but most likely try to figure out what cause you to ask them to begin with then maybe offer suggestions to help alleviate those anxieties.


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

Deleted


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

That's strange your next appointment's delayed months. Didn't they give a reason? Is it the system, such as one of them taking a break/working elsewhere a few months? It's common to worry excessively with things like SAD but the unknown and poor communication by others does exacerbate it.

Sometimes it takes direct questioning to get answers. Whether they provide them depends on the type of person they are and the type of question. 

Most of them would blatantly speak their minds to me in general - one to the point of abuse and I kept written records of each session. Most would plainly state things such as they just couldn't get a grip on me or moan about how I was doing. 

Another was very cagey (strangely the best of the bunch). I tried to discuss the therapy that'd left me damaged and also ASD issues, and she just wouldn't go there but wouldn't tell me that. She'd instead change the subject, avoid and minimise, which was damaging. Only when I confronted her, wrote a letter and spoke to my doctor about it did she admit she felt unqualified with my condition and was trying to refer me on. She also indicated about the other therapist that she couldn't go there. They protect their own. Only she didn't tell me directly enough and tried to minimise my experience instead while I continued discussing it. When I asked what they do with clients recovering from more serious professional abuse she told me she had no idea and had never thought of it.

The main psychiatrist I saw was cagey too, and wouldn't even provide answers to direct questions.

Most I've encountered have been upfront, though, but not in a helpful way.


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## Eski (Aug 6, 2011)

> If we feel we cannot work with a particular client then we will tell the client that.


So if they thought they couldn't help me or didn't want to help me they would just straight up tell me and refer me to someone else?, not try to push my own hand into not going again? with times, dates, wording ect (i realize how crazy that sounds now reading it back, so i am going to stop thinking about it), it probably is me being paranoid and avoidant 



> No, they are unlikely to answer those questions with direct answers but most likely try to figure out what cause you to ask them to begin with then maybe offer suggestions to help alleviate those anxieties.


Thats something i really dont want, i'd rather they just said "yes, we find you awkward but we'll fix that over time, ok.", rather than them dance around the question with maybe "how does that make you feel?", i honestly hate that question. Its something i'm worried about aswell, that they wont give me a real answer but spin it to a question for me, which i dont think i would find helpful...


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