# Why do people feel it's necessary to call me out for being quiet



## MetalRules4235 (Apr 11, 2016)

Does it make them feel superior or are they just trying to make me talk more because if that's the case it isn't working.


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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

They just don't understand. These people probably have no idea what SA is. I don't think they're trying to be rude or mean.


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## MetalRules4235 (Apr 11, 2016)

Yeah I tried explaining this to this one person and they seemed really uninformed about SA.


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

MetalRules4235 said:


> Yeah I tried explaining this to this one person and they seemed really uninformed about SA.


A lot of people are uninformed about SA which is great for them not for us.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Unfortunately, some people base intelligence off of how frequently you speak. I do believe it is one of the reasons why my teachers never nominated me for awards even when I managed to earn the highest grade in class. Some have admitted to having a problem with me being "too quiet." There wasn't much for me to do but prove my competence in other ways and it paid off luckily. 

Next time someone calls you out on being quiet, you can point out some of the flaws in constantly talking. Some people are just all talk and nothing else. They may sound convincing and are eloquent speakers, but transfer that to their actions and that's a whole different story. Just like my favorite quote in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind says: "Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating."


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## TheSilentGamer (Nov 15, 2014)

People hate it when other people are different. And in a loud environment, the quiet person will stick out, so they're just pointing out the obvious. I've heard that so many times, and when someone points it out I usually just say something like "yeah I guess I am" and be done with it. Chances are, people will leave you alone, and move on to something else.


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## chaosherz (May 15, 2011)

This brings back memories. People used to say I was quiet when I was in school. Just made me more self-conscious about it and even more quiet!

People are just dumb. They comment on anything. It seems it is OK to tell someone "you're so quiet" yet you can't say "you're so loud" because it is considered rude. 

If people say "you're quiet" just respond "no I'm not, you're just loud". Some people just love the sound of their own voice and really, the vast majority of things that people say are complete **** anyway and not even worth expressing.


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## Sco (Aug 2, 2015)

They told me this too, when I saw that they are thinking too much of them and want to make me feel bad I responded that I don't talk with all the people, only with those that matter because I don't want to lose my energy. This caused much laughter among the people around and I was sorry for that person, but hey, don't mess with me and try to make me feel bad that I'm not like you.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

chaosherz said:


> This brings back memories. People used to say I was quiet when I was in school. Just made me more self-conscious about it and even more quiet!
> 
> People are just dumb. They comment on anything. It seems it is OK to tell someone "you're so quiet" yet you can't say "you're so loud" because it is considered rude.
> 
> *If people say "you're quiet" just respond "no I'm not, you're just loud".* Some people just love the sound of their own voice and really, the vast majority of things that people say are complete **** anyway and not even worth expressing.


Then you walk out like Beyoncé for making a bamf comment.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

When people call me "quiet" I tend to respond by saying something sarcastic/inappropriate that makes people lose their **** upon hearing it. It's kind of a weird reflex.


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## Rains (Jan 20, 2016)

chaosherz said:


> People used to say I was quiet when I was in school. Just made me more self-conscious about it and even more quiet!


Yeah that's the problem, it becomes a vicious cycle.

I think people do it for various reasons. Sometimes they're just making observations and don't have the awareness to realise it's upsetting. It's like pointing out to someone they're overweight, or really short... It's unnecessary and some people are sensitive about it.

Other times I think some people really don't respect certain quiet people. They see them as weak and deserving of being mocked etc. In highschool, I noticed the kind of people who do this are either low on empathy, or they're secretly insecure themselves and are just picking on someone they see as weaker to boost their self-esteem.


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## chaosherz (May 15, 2011)

Rains said:


> Yeah that's the problem, it becomes a vicious cycle.
> 
> I think people do it for various reasons. Sometimes they're just making observations and don't have the awareness to realise it's upsetting. It's like pointing out to someone they're overweight, or really short... It's unnecessary and some people are sensitive about it.
> 
> Other times I think some people really don't respect certain quiet people. They see them as weak and deserving of being mocked etc. In highschool, I noticed the kind of people who do this are either low on empathy, or they're secretly insecure themselves and are just picking on someone they see as weaker to boost their self-esteem.


You are definitely right, quiet kids are an easy target. And when you have other things about you that are easy to pick on (e.g, your appearance) then that just makes you even more of a target.

While it is true that certain people are bullies because they are insecure, in my experience it was the cockiest, most arrogant and antisocial kids who were the worst bullies. They are the kind of people who would grow up to be bullies in the workplace or to their partners too.


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## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

You can say "Thank you, the world needs quiet people so there is someone to listen and everyone can hear themselves" Make it a positive and be proud of it .


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## SuperSky (Feb 16, 2011)

Because they feel uncomfortable in silence and have decided that it's your fault.


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## Just some random guy (Oct 13, 2013)

I'd gladly trade problems with you. People don't tell me I talk too much, but I talk too much. When I get nervous I start trying to be funny and equate blithering vocal diarrhea as "funny". Worse still is that I have the sense of humor of a twelve year old. At 33.

Even if it's funny at first, people eventually get really sick of hearing me ask for their smart phone so I can ask Siri if various exotic animals are capable of farting.


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## thebigofan (Dec 27, 2014)

Everybody says that to me. "You're so quiet", "you don't talk much, don't you", "She's so quiet", "You should talk more". I hear these a lot. Could people not mention that I'm quiet because I already know I am and that is not a good thing. People like others who talk a lot. I guess I should just start talking non stop and then the opposite would be said;"You talk so much!":grin2:


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## In Correct (Apr 22, 2016)

*They Are Just Nosey:*

It is just more of "I Give. They Take." If I had something important to say, nobody cares. They are always "busy" playing video games on The Internet. But if they want to say anything to me, then I am supposed to listen.

So if anybody says "You don't talk much." then I just assume they are being nosey. I am not required to talk to them. If I found them interesting, If I found them worth the conversation then I would start a conversation.

For example, if they want to talk about the N Words, what the N Words are doing, and what the N Words aren't doing, then I really do not want to have a conversation with anybody obsessing about N Words. Anybody that gossips about people I just do not want to be a part of that gossip. They are only wanting me to talk to them because they want more juicy gossip. And I do not want to talk about other people, whether it is the neighbors or what they find "offensive". If they find out that I am not a racist then they will be "offended" by that too, and then as far as they are concerned, I might as well be a N Word.

But I think you understand my point. They are not my friends and they are not going to be my friends, so they should not be forcing their conversation on me.

Otherwise there are a few occasions that I meet new people that I want to be friends with but I am surprised when they say that "_ Don't Talk Much." because I met them in a personal setting. If I was the one to say "You Don't Talk Much." I am afraid they will be creeped out lol. So why would they expect me to not be creeped out when they say it????_


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## In Correct (Apr 22, 2016)

*Professional:*

*I meant to say professional setting. I am really getting tired of not being able to edit my posts.*


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## BAH (Feb 12, 2012)

Multiple reasons..one of them is out of curiosity


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## Meggiepie (Jan 27, 2016)

acidicwithpanic said:


> Unfortunately, some people base intelligence off of how frequently you speak. I do believe it is one of the reasons why my teachers never nominated me for awards even when I managed to earn the highest grade in class. Some have admitted to having a problem with me being "too quiet." There wasn't much for me to do but prove my competence in other ways and it paid off luckily.
> 
> Next time someone calls you out on being quiet, you can point out some of the flaws in constantly talking. Some people are just all talk and nothing else. They may sound convincing and are eloquent speakers, but transfer that to their actions and that's a whole different story. Just like my favorite quote in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind says: "Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating."


^This. That was basically my whole school career. I had to prove that I'm smart in other ways, and even when I did that I still had professors that refused to understand SA and would tell me I needed to speak up more. It was really frustrating. Luckily I had more professors that were understanding than those that weren't.

The part about the people that never stop talking is also true. I've had classmates that would never shut up in class. They would come across as really smart but all they were doing is saying really vague stuff and bsing. Some of them would also just repeat stuff they read online about the books we had to read. Not all of the talkative people are like that, but a lot of them are.


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## Raulz (Jan 11, 2016)

I hate it when people do this to me. It's so condescending.


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