# How Do you Make Friends at College?



## Shonen_Yo (Sep 8, 2006)

I've been in college (CEGEP) for a couple years now and haven't really made any friends. I was wondering how people here might have come across a few close friends at school?:no


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## cavemanslaststand (Jan 6, 2011)

Said something similar in broseph's thread:

Be a subject matter expert (get your homeworks and projects done well before others) so you can sit around talking about it while they come to you for help. You become popular really quick in college when they need your help.

For me I always struggle to make small talk, so it helped me get used to credibly talking about a subject area (even if I was trying to make it up as I go along), and that sort of helps for future job interviews too when they want you to talk about what you know.


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## TheCanadian1 (Sep 14, 2009)

minneapolar said:


> Said something similar in broseph's thread:
> 
> Be a subject matter expert (get your homeworks and projects done well before others) so you can sit around talking about it while they come to you for help. You become popular really quick in college when they need your help.
> 
> For me I always struggle to make small talk, so it helped me get used to credibly talking about a subject area (even if I was trying to make it up as I go along), and that sort of helps for future job interviews too when they want you to talk about what you know.


awesome! Great idea.

I've been having a lot of trouble making friends as well... I've initiated a few conversations with people who seem like they're similar to me. However the convo lasts for a few minutes and they leave or stop talking. It can be quite frustrating. I don't want to be popular, I just want some friends to hang out with occasionally. *sigh*


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## nycdude (Mar 20, 2010)

i haven't made any yet, everyone seems to busy or not interested in talking.


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## LostOrchid (Feb 4, 2011)

I tend to only make friends in the early days of a school year, when everyone is desperately trying to find someone and are, for the most part, all somewhat shy and nervous. Those will end up being my closest friends. Friends I make after that point are usually friends my friends make and then bring into the group, I am somewhat comfortable with them but not as much as those initial friends.

I haven't found clubs to be great places to make friends for me, however I can see how some might find it easier there. Again a lot of people in the club probably don't know anyone and are therefore very receptive to making friends. Though I do notice that when the clubs go on trips (like the kids in my animal behavior club who went to an IMATA conference, or the kids in habitat for humanity who go on build days) the people who went tend to become close. But I know I'd have trouble going away with a bunch of people I didn't know, especially if I had to share a hotel room or something with one.


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## vulgarman (Jul 4, 2010)

In Russian College, friends make YOU!


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## Iced (Feb 7, 2011)

It's all about small talk. Say something small to someone sitting beside, build upon it. Friends. Easy. 

Example:
You: Have you read the text book?
Person beside you: Not really
You: I wonder if we can just use the notes

Convo isn't the hard part, starting the interaction is. But if your conversation "fails" sit on a different side of the class, try the same thing.


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## spaceygirl (Dec 4, 2009)

Sorry I am no help. I never made any actual friends throughout my five years at college, although I did manage to make a few acquaintances (none lasted past the class I made them in, but still..small victories right? )

I mostly made the acquaintances through engaging in small talk about assignments/tests as other have suggested, or as parts of group projects where you had to seek someone out (in those cases it wasn't really a choice though). 

Also I knew a few people from high school so I would talk to them and through them meet a few new people. 

Also at the beginning of the course try to always sit in the same spot because most people will do that so you have a better chance of talking to the same people and maybe getting to know one or two before everyone chums up.


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## Purple Pen (Nov 3, 2010)

Iced said:


> It's all about small talk. Say something small to someone sitting beside, build upon it. Friends. Easy.
> 
> Example:
> You: Have you read the text book?
> ...


Finding common ground with others in my program is easy; we all love sports, so I usually talk about last night's game and whatnot.


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## Iced (Feb 7, 2011)

Purple Pen said:


> Finding common ground with others in my program is easy; we all love sports, so I usually talk about last night's game and whatnot.


Sounds like a BCIT thing ;p


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## Ready To Freak Out (Jul 20, 2010)

Last year in the fall, I made a bunch of friends early on by talking to people in my poli sci classes and joining study groups, but then I reached my expiration date or something cuz they dropped me like a hot potatoe. I'm trying to figure out what it is that I do that puts people off once they get to know me. But yeah, if you don't have the problem like I do of getting more off-putting as time goes on, just try and make scholastically related smalltalk, join study groups, etc. Conversation will branch out from there, and then it's just a matter of how much you have in common, i guess.


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## changeforthebetter (Feb 15, 2011)

i dont know it sucks, things happen so fast, even on day 1 of uni in the break everyone just seems to already know each other and are chatting away while i am sitting there looking like nigel no mates. or maybe that is just what i notice


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## Ali1 (Jun 28, 2011)

Making Friends at College, can be hard or easy - it all depends on your mindset. If you have the mindset that you are going to be friendly with other people (especially in your class) than things will naturally develop.

Having a "Friendly" mindset means, not sitting there thinking about how terrible the situation is, or thinking about what a loser you are that you have no friends. No, instead thinking about the class, the textbook, the lecture etc. Once you have done that, you must initiate conversation with others.

I agree what "Iced" said:
Say something small to someone sitting beside, build upon it. Friends. Easy.

Example:
You: Have you read the text book?
Person beside you: Not really
You: I wonder if we can just use the notes

Convo isn't the hard part, starting the interaction is. But if your conversation "fails" sit on a different side of the class, try the same thing.

I expanded more on How to Make Friends in College on my blog: http://www.socialgrump.com/part-1-how-to-make-friends-in-college/

Ali


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