# Anyone think they'll never get girlfriend/boyfriend?



## manofkent (Sep 15, 2014)

When your confidence is low and you have low self esteem and you don't really have anything positive to say. I'm such a pessimist and will always look at the bad things about me. I find it hard to even go on dates because of my low self esteem and if anything does get planned I usually like to highlight my bad points before I do and that's very rare that they'll want to go on a date still once I told them e.g I'm overweight I'm shy etc I don't go into great detail but I like to tell them the things they will notice to begin with. As you can probably tell I use online dating mainly as in the real world I wouldn't tabs a chance of getting close to a date. If you are struggling to find someone I'd highly recommend it but for people like me that are too afraid to date it's just not worth it.


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## achelle92 (Feb 27, 2012)

*Raises hand*

I just can't see anyone taking a serious interest in me. Not sure if it's cause I have almost zero self-esteem or bad social skills, but for some reason I don't see myself having a significant other in the near future. Most of the time I feel like guys don't notice me and if they notice me it's never romantic.

Guess it's time to start my cat collection.


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## pacasio1 (Sep 23, 2012)

I will never have a girlfriend. I too, point out negative aspects about me. It's almost as though, if I don't say that, I don't have anything to say, and I feel I need to say something, because I think they think that about me already. I will say, to not sound too pessimistic, that I haven't been as close to having a girlfriend, as I am now, and that's not saying much.


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## orsomething (Feb 14, 2014)

i dont get why people even try to date without feeling good about themselves

dont date until you lose weight

dont date until you feel confident

or maybe do what the **** do i know, some people are like "wah wah what if i die and havent fingered a girl yet" well chances are it'll be **** anyways you might as well work on yourself instead of crying about it that way you can have positive experiences associated with sex/sexual situations, instead of negative ones


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## Cyclonic (Oct 25, 2012)

I may never, but that's all on me. I'm not really trying to find a relationship. I've made an effort to better myself, I have a good job and I'm probably in the best shape of my life. If someone wants to join along, great! If not, I'm happy where I am right now.


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## Alone75 (Jul 29, 2013)

orsomething said:


> i dont get why people even try to date without feeling good about themselves
> 
> dont date until you lose weight
> 
> ...


What if the guy works on things and girls still reject him. Then he gets older and older with no experience? No need to be condescending and say they shouldn't cry or feel down about it. Who are you to judge?


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## orsomething (Feb 14, 2014)

Madax said:


> I may never, but that's all on me. I'm not really trying to find a relationship. I've made an effort to better myself, I have a good job and I'm probably in the best shape of my life. If someone wants to join along, great! If not, I'm happy where I am right now.




this seems right to me


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

Meh


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## 0blank0 (Sep 22, 2014)

I hope to think so one day...I've never been to good at getting one cause I'm so quiet and I'm sure i bore them. But hopefully a guy will love me for me someday.


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

I'm somewhat interested but it's no big deal to me if it never happens. I am trying to improve myself, but not for the purpose of finding a partner. It's more of a pre-emptive defense mechanism. If I'm as fit and as educated, as moral and as level-headed as I envision myself, and still no-one takes an interest in me, I can at least put it down to genetics, superficiality, and/or mind games that I'm not willing to play, to find a lifemate. I keep seeing all this advice about cold-approaching everyone in sight, or acting out of character to appear more confident, or any number of other douchebag behavior. Yeah, I'm not doing any of that. If I'm to be liked, it should be for my actual qualities/personality, not for how well I play 'the game'. Last thing I want is a relationship that is based on, and has to be maintained by, pretending to be something I'm not.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

Or when you simply have nothing to offer anyone...


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## villadb (Dec 30, 2012)

I feel I've left it a bit too late, really. 99% of the population would have experience by now, and whilst my confidence issues that were my main barrier have largely gone, I can't really imagine me finding anyone.


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## hmnut (Aug 8, 2011)

I'm 35 and I haven't found anyone, it's hard to believe I will now.


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## Alone75 (Jul 29, 2013)

hmnut said:


> I'm 35 and I haven't found anyone, it's hard to believe I will now.


Yeah...for us guys who're 35+ that have never had anyone. Or for those who have tried, failed and faced rejection after rejection. The future looks pretty damn bleak now! :rain But as long as you're still alive, there is hope I guess.


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

I don't doubt my capability to attract a girl but my main problem is actually getting to opportunity to meet them.


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## UncertainMuffin (Sep 24, 2008)

I thought this for the longest time. I'm now with the man of my dreams. Don't give up hope!


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## anomnomnom (May 28, 2013)

I'd say unlikely

I've had a couple of bad experiences, I don't go anywhere except work, I'm too much of a nervous wreck to use a dating site (not that my photo would do me any favours) and I don't really have any self esteem/confidence 

Yeaaah, no, I don't see me stumbling into the ideal girl, chronically single girls can fall back to cats, what are guys suppose to get? Do I acquire dogs or is it a different protocol?


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## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

hmnut said:


> I'm 35 and I haven't found anyone, it's hard to believe I will now.


When I was 25, age 35 was the expiration age. Now that I'm 32, the new expiration age is 45. :lol

But I think 45 is the definite cut off age.

Don't mean to offend anybody who's around that age. I'll most likely be in your shoes in 13 years.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Yes.


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

i think i will, simply because i have in the past, although like the past i dont believe it'll last long, i have trouble committing/trusting someone so anything that progresses into that bf/gf territory deteriorates pretty quickly

thinking back there is probably only one person i've been all in for, the rest not even half halfheartedly so, i'm at a point i'm either all in or not all, recently too much the latter

to people saying "yeah dont get into anything until you're better" i think like that too, to a fault, because who knows when you're going to reach that point? how many opportunities are you closing off with that thinking? sometimes you have to just jump in even with a few malfunctions, because our time here is limited

so in summary i think so, if i open myself up a bit more setting aside my commitment fears, because i want those cuddling on the couch feels, because i'm human


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## Awkto Awktavious (May 11, 2011)

Yes. I've never even asked anyone out.


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## EternallyRestless (Jul 19, 2011)

I probably never will, for a lot of reasons. But it's not that bad, if I never settle down then I'll never be pressured to have kids.


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## East (Jul 22, 2013)

I'm ugly and boring and overly emotional so yeah but that's alright since I'm gonna have fifty cats and a duck and a football team and a basketball team and I'll make them play baseball


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## becksbeck (Apr 16, 2012)

I feel like I never will.


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## Kind Of (Jun 11, 2014)

I don’t meet many women and I'm not into the men I attract. I know they don’t intend to and it's a matter of personalities clashing, but they typically wind up making me feel unattractive and awkward in their eyes because they’re so passive and bottle things up.

In the past I haven't been able to tell if they’re trying to deflect me as some men do when they’re not interested in a woman’s advances or just timid about it. You can say yes, but if your actions imply a lack of passion then it's hurtful. Or they tend not to set boundaries and instead let me make errors that they stew over, so I feel like some bumbling idiot with a long list of faux pas I don't even realize I'm making. And so forth.

Maybe down the road when I'm a different person I'll attract different people. I don't need any more uncertainty in my life when I'm still dealing with the remnants of depression and anxiety, and trying to get all my ducks in a row. I need people who are forthright, trustworthy, and honest.


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## Tabris (Jul 14, 2013)

Yeah, it's very unlikely that I will. Too ugly.


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## 0blank0 (Sep 22, 2014)

Yep, i may attract men but I'm too shy. And who likes a ****in quiet *** person. I hate myself!


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## Neo1234 (Mar 6, 2012)

felicshagrace said:


> Yep, i may attract men but I'm too shy. And who likes a ****in quiet *** person. I hate myself!


Hold on lady,theres no reason to hate yourself.I tried too hard to find it,yet I couldnt find even one in you.Relax and calm down..!Your just great the way you are!Embrace it (=


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## Frozenvoice (Jul 15, 2013)

I am so socially stunted and couldn't even begin to understand how people even become lovers. Apparently telling your boyfriend or girlfriend you love them early in the relationship is scary. This blew my mind. All my shoujo manga tells me you confess first and then become a couple but apparently this is wrong. So you date first and then later say you love them? Really? That just sounds backwards and weird.


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## Andras96 (Mar 28, 2014)

Yep, very unlikely.


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## inerameia (Jan 26, 2012)

I'd say I probably won't have a gf. I don't know that, that's just how I feel. I'm pretty isolated from peers. Even if I wasn't, I'm not a tenth of a Casanova. I haven't asked one girl out. They all approached me lol and I still managed to **** up quickly.


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

I can see myself having occasional short term relationships in the future, but I can't imagine anything lasting. I'm too lazy and unromantic and dislike being around people. I'd have to find the most perfectly compatible girl in the world. It's also really hard for me to develop feelings for anyone, so the chances are slim.


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## tonyhd71 (Jul 27, 2014)

The even bigger concern I have is keeping a girlfriend. Getting a girlfriend is so hard already to begin with. Hell, I may never actually get a girlfriend. But if I ever do, I'll come across an even bigger hurtle: keeping her!!

In the slight chance I ever do get a girlfriend keeping her will be much harder. Not to mention ever getting to the stage of marriage. Hell, even if I make it that far she could always divorce me.

I don't see myself ever finding a girl I can keep. Do I see myself ever getting a girlfriend? Honestly no, but that's not even the biggest problem, its everything that comes afterwards. I am probably most likely going to die alone.


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

sonny680 said:


> Hold on lady,theres no reason to hate yourself.I tried too hard to find it,yet I couldnt find even one in you.Relax and calm down..!Your just great the way you are!Embrace it (=


how hard did you really try, honestly felt like a bruno mars song was about to start playing as i read this


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## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

I'm pretty sure that I wont find a girlfriend I just go to work and home and I find it very hard to talk to girls my age let alone ask them out and I don't like to go to crowd areas eat in public so that ends most dating place and I work a low paying job with no way to change


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## extremly (Oct 25, 2012)

My girlfriend right now:










I ignored her for way to long.

In my defense her older brother public school was a duche


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## jsmith92 (Dec 30, 2013)

I used to but it is because I always was a negative person but now that I have started to think more positive my life has literally turned around emotionally IMO at least. It is a matter of you putting yourself out there. If you don't try you don't have a chance ever.


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## MildSA (Sep 29, 2014)

Folks in their 20s/30s....Y'all need to chill out. There are PLENTY of folks that never dated much in their 20s b/c of school or career-paths but ended up finding a partner later on in life. I find that young folks who are going out on dates often are either drop-outs or are stuck in crappy careers....basically they are bored & have nothing better to do. 

Focus on school/career first while you're young then once you take care of that you will have more than enough time to purse a relationship in your late 20s/30s. Actually, the best place to meet quality candidates is graduate/professional school....those people are most likely in the same boat thus you can grow together & teach yourselves the art of making love.


For example over 50% of Mexican-American girl have a baby before the age of 20 b/c their is a high rate of attrition amongst Mexican American youth in America.

You need to understand ....there is someone on the other end in the same predicament. PTechnology has made it so much either to get in touch so if you are OPEN just make the effort


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## scooby (Jun 24, 2009)

I'm not going to say never, but I feel that the likelihood of finding one is pretty bleak. The problem is, even in the unlikely chance that I do find one, the real challenge after that is keeping them and sustaining a long term relationship. I just don't know how to do that. So maybe that part is where I'll say never.


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## MildSA (Sep 29, 2014)

felicshagrace said:


> Yep, i may attract men but I'm too shy. And who likes a ****in quiet *** person. I hate myself!


Being quiet/shy & being boring are two different things. There have been plenty of famous people throughout history that have been know to be shy/reserved but they were famous b/c the were smart/interesting/knowledgeable/witty/insightful. It's just the obnoxious folks that refer to them as boring. I for one find loud/talkative people to be obnoxious & boring if they have nothing of substance to say.

I suggest you befriend a man who shares your interest so you actually have something to talk about......if you are attracted to him then I guess you can upgrade him to "boyfriend" status. (You are a beautiful girl so I highly doubt you will get "Friend Zoned" by a guy.) If you have nothing interesting to discuss you might want to start reading books/watching documentaries/following world news....there are plenty of interesting things on the internet. Worst come worst you will be a trophy wife...those men prefer the ladies to look cute & keep quiet.


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## ZachMadass (Oct 1, 2014)

I just wanna share mine.. I have a girlfriend in high school and it lasted until we were in college but our relationship ended because my ex have to migrate in Canada for good and long distance relationship is very hard to maintain.. I love this girl so much, I have plenty of good memories with her, she's my first. and until now I still think about her but i knew she's with someone else now and they're married. It's been 3 years since we broke up but until now Ive never dated anyone. I see some prospects but I can't approach them because of my anxiety and I have a low self esteem, Im 5'10" and Im overweight. I think I will never a have a girlfriend anymore because I dont have social life and have many insecurities and low self esteem but Im hoping that someday I will fall in love again and I will feel being special and loved by someone


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## tumerking (Sep 30, 2014)

I hate thinking this about myself, but deep down I know its probably true. I've never had a girl pay any real attention to me. I've never been kissed or hugged or even smiled at. I just feel invisible. And I'm too socially awkward to approach woman so I don't know how it'll ever happen for me. I hardly spend any time outside of work and home so it's not like I'm making myself available either. I've tried online dating sites like okcupid and plentyoffish, but I've had little success. I'm boring compared to everyone else. I don't know why a girl would date me over any other guy on those sites or in real life. I don't feel like I'm good enough for anyone. I feel worthless.


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## LolaViola (Jun 23, 2013)

Yes. I wish I could totally shut off my desire for a partner. It just irritates me at this point. There is no one out there for me.


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## losthismarbles (Jul 5, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> I've had a couple before but I doubt I'll have any again in the future because:
> 
> my thoughts always go back to someone for no good reason but I can't seem to let it go properly, I don't often find guys physically attractive or attractive unless I get to know them, I don't get to know guys now, I don't leave the house too often, I have long term motivational issues, I suffer from social anxiety disorder, I'm quite avoidant, I have no job, my hair isn't great now, I don't have a lot of money, I'm not really talented in any area, I live with my mum and brother.
> 
> ...


Most of this fits my reasons for not having a girlfriend. Except for the physical description. And some of it is the exact reverse for me. Like being told I act like a girl. 
lol Thanks for writing it down for me.

Mostly when I do attract someone I will do everything in my power to make sure they don't get attached or intimate with me.

Why do I have to keep everyone at a distance? I hate it.


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## woafy (Jul 9, 2014)

I dont think I will but whatever...Im starting too not care


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

Apparently I have a better chance getting in the White House than this.


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## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> I've had a couple before but I doubt I'll have any again in the future because:
> 
> my thoughts always go back to someone for no good reason but I can't seem to let it go properly, I don't often find guys physically attractive or attractive unless I get to know them, I don't get to know guys now, I don't leave the house too often, I have long term motivational issues, I suffer from social anxiety disorder, I'm quite avoidant, I have no job, my hair isn't great now, I don't have a lot of money, I'm not really talented in any area, I live with my mum and brother.
> 
> ...


That was way harsh on yourself. Guys don't really care about moles or stuff like that. You're over thinking way too much about the little things that bother you. And I think you have a good personality. I've come across a lot of people online I won't go near and you're not one of them.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

George McFly said:


> That was way harsh on yourself. Guys don't really care about moles or stuff like that. You're over thinking way too much about the little things that bother you. And I think you have a good personality. I've come across a lot of people online I won't go near and you're not one of them.


Well thank you but I did say the list was definitive , I don't think all guys would be equally bothered by everything on that list but it all contributes to different extents. I think my personality is pretty unappealing though tbh. You also have to bear in mind that you're not going to see all aspects of my personality in my posts.


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## TheHopeless (Sep 11, 2013)

I KNOW so. Because I hate everyone. I hate humanity. I just want to be alone. Nobody is worthy to be a part of my life.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Sometimes I do. We shall see what life brings to the table in the future.


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## TheRob (Dec 30, 2006)

At my age, it's unlikely. I probably have a better chance of seeing a purple squirrel.


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## laagamer (Jul 26, 2014)

I thought that up until about 2 weeks ago.

Life changes quick buddy.

Just might surprise you.


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## NotLovedRejected (Sep 21, 2014)

*I bet a gazillion dollars I will not get married...*

This thread is interesting, as it highly relates to my life situation when it comes to girlfriend, romance, and the topic of getting married.

I highly doubt I will find a significant other.

I frankly, have been date-less for the last six years. It ain't funny anymore.

I guess a factor that has been attributing me to being date-less or girls not interested in me, has been that I have been in school, a program to pursue my advanced degree. It really sucked when other classmates in the program had a girlfriend, or where married, or were going to get married after graduation.

Now that I have graduated this past May, I am more and more focused on the topic of dating and finding a girlfriend.

However, no girls have expressed interest in me. It seems like God is preventing girls from dating me.

I have dated in the past, while I was in undergraduate university. But my longest relationships were only one-month long. That's it! The girl usually told me that we are not compatible, so she will still consider me a friend, but not a boyfriend. Those instances really broke my heart.

Just recently, I was "match maked" or paired up with a girl whom my mother's friend's friend knows.

It turned out that this girl used to go Friday night Bible study with me, almost 15 years ago, when my mom wrote down the girl's name, I recalled hearing that name somewhere. Then I realized that she went to Friday night youth Bible study when I was in middle school, and the girl was a freshmen in high school (she's two years older than me).
Initially, my mother didn't want me to meet with her, but I told my mom that I was interested in seeing her again.

To make a long story short, we met up for dinner, then the girl invited me over to camp outdoors with her friends.

I then sent her a text message a week later, asking her out to dinner.

She called me four days later, telling me that she's not interested in dating me.

See, I always get rejected after dating for one or two times. It's usually after the second or third date that the girl turns me down, or makes some kind of excuse that we're not compatible, to break up with me.

I honestly have current episodes of feeling severely depressed because everybody at my workplace either has a girlfriend or boyfriend (dep. if male or female co-worker, of course) in a romantic relationship, or married with children!

Some times, I feel like dying. It seems that God has given up on me, and although I did well (but not the best) academically in school, and work hard and try my best to help others at work, my huge flaw is finding a girlfriend. This is why I feel super depressed at times, want to lock myself in the room, and not go outside.


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## NotLovedRejected (Sep 21, 2014)

laagamer said:


> I thought that up until about 2 weeks ago.
> 
> Life changes quick buddy.
> 
> Just might surprise you.


It's interesting, Laagamer, that you bring this topic up.

About the fact that the "Time will come when you will find a significant other, when you're least expecting it."

The thing is, I am in my lower 30's, and have not dated in the last six years. This is so pathetic, I think God has given up on me, and pre-destined my life to live as a single, angry, bitter man. I know I was in school studying in a program for the last four years, but still, not girls in my program found any romantic interest in me. Just regular "study buddy" interest, since I am more of the nerdy type of person.

My previous relationships only lasted two weeks, and the longest romantic relationship I had was one-month. That's it!

My sister got married and gave birth to her son last year. My cousins, ALL of them, have married and either have children, or have plans to have children.

Me? I am still by myself, getting settled in to my job, as I have graduated from my program this year. Yet, when I talk to women at work, at least the ones in my age range, a lot of them already have a boyfriend, or is already married.

Heck, even this ugly fat overweight girl working in my department is married with a 3-year-old son! WTF?


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## OnlyInIttowinit (Oct 4, 2014)

Yes!! I think about this, id imagine it too be awkward around other people. Ive become a private person anways, yeah people would know were dating but i dont like posting status's about it and telling people about our problems and stuff. Ive became really private lol it makes things less awkward. I cant imagine a guy taking personal interest in me


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## Tumbling Destiny (May 13, 2012)

to be honest this is one of my biggest frustrations. i seem to have remarkably little going for me in the way of both personality and looks. i'm probably usually not offensive to look at (i hope) but i'm far from attractive, and this combined with a variety of personality traits such as being reserved, disliking attention, and having the hugest inferiority complex ever doesn't help. i guess there's no real incentive there (upon first impression, at least) to date someone like me. the few guys who do demonstrate some interest in me are always the same ones who go for just about any girl, are socially awkward, desperate, etc... just overall not guys i'm even remotely attracted to. and if i sense that, i put just enough distance between us to show that i'm really not interested.

all that being said, i don't really know many guys or have many male friends at all - i'm not sure if it's because of some weird mental block on my part or if it's because they're so repulsed or uninterested in me upon first impression that they don't care about getting to know me better. which kinda reminds me of the whole 'girls and boys can't be 100% platonic friends' thing.

i really don't know what i'm complaining about... i imagine that my personality and appearance are just too boring to attract the right kind of guy, but i don't know how to change that, or if i would even want to. aaaaarghhgaw;oief;oj


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## manofkent (Sep 15, 2014)

I feel part of the problem is not going for it enough and chatting to as many possible females in real as possible. I talk to girls on online dating it's always the same **** "hi how's you" "good you" "I'm ok" with a couple of other sentences then conversation dies she doesn't want to know and I'm back at square one. I've actually pretty much stopped going out now and I been told people who think they won't ever get a girlfriend are usually "couch potatoes" or "workaholics" which is a fair presumption I think for the prior when it concerns myself for others especially on here I bet it's the same. It kind of makes me want to go out a bit more but I don't feel like it really I feel restricted about how often I should go out and feel one social activity is enough per week. I play football every Sunday and this is literally my only social activity other than going to pub at lunchtime during college. Also I hear all the time "approach a woman everyday..." I just feel this is ridiculous that's like asking me who's scared of heights, go bungee jumping although I wish I had the courage the idea that I could pluck up that sort of courage and see it through till the end is ridiculous


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