# Anyone Here In An Interracial Relationship?



## WhiteRaven (Feb 3, 2008)

I am in a serious interracial relationship (asian male, white female) and I am interested in who else is.
What I am particularily interested is how this affects those around you and if it even affects your social anxiety at all.

What are your family and friends' reactions to the arrangement? Do you face any problems due to this?
Do their opinions or strangers' opinions to the relationship affect your social anxiety?

In a perfect world, people shouldn't care what race your other half is. I'm glad that my family and friends are happy for me but some family are very upset about it (they are oh-so-British and 'anglo saxon') and honestly I have found that upsetting and makes me feel anxious.
However, that doesn't stop me from being proud to call him my boyfriend.

So I'm very interested to hear from people in the same situation or know of someone.


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## HumiliatedGuy (Jan 13, 2008)

I have never had a girlfriend but I am very, very interested to hear what you or others have to say because I am Asian and I often wonder what it would be like to have a white girlfriend. In addition, and it may be because of my age, I had a difficult time facing prejudice when I was growing up. I would be very insecure about being Asian and having a white girlfriend.

I have two siblings (both sisters) and they have always had white boyfriends, with one exception. My sister had one Asian boyfriend under the pressure of my parents. But that didn't work out, and I believe both of sisters have no desire to have an Asian boyfriend because they generally want to be dominant, are not sensitive, lacking in social skills, etc. I agree with their assessment after I've had my own personal dealings with Asian males, although they are not all like that - and I like to think I'm not like that as well, although I have to admit I have certain habits I can't control that might make people think I am the "undesirable" Asian male. But at least I'm aware of it and I know that I want to be a sensitive, caring, listening partner, if that ever happens, but at my age, it looks like an impossibility.

As far as my family is concerned, and I do believe this holds for most East Asians (they were once called, and still are called by older people, "orientals"), they look up to white people. They are found to be much better looking and kinder. So although you, as a white, may be prejudiced towards Asians, my family has no such attitude towards whites. This isn't true for all Asians, as there are plenty of prejudiced and racist Asians as well.


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## HumiliatedGuy (Jan 13, 2008)

I just realized that i might be confusing to read that my sister had an Asian boyfriend from the pressure of my parents. It isn't because they preferred an Asian partner, but that they think that whites would look down upon us or my sisters. My parents are always insecure about what whites think of them.


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## SADFighter (May 4, 2007)

This should be an interesting topic. The first and only girl I dated was "black" in the same way that Obama is...white mother, black father. However, it was hard to tell what ethnicity(ies) she was. To some, she even looked white. And I'm a black guy. I'm in college and it was fine there but the few times we went out I noticed a handful of stares...Pretty ironic anyway. 

I've always been conscious of this problem though. I've had to go places w/white women (as friends/coworkers etc) and felt like I was being judged not only by whites but by blacks. Still it hasn't stopped me from being interested in all kinds of women and they in me. It's tough though b/c unlike other aspects of (my) SA, I can't just write off these fears as irrational. It is true that some people have problems with different races and interracial relationships. Fortunately, I've always lived in diverse parts of the U.S. and plan on continuing to.


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## pariahgirl (Mar 26, 2008)

yeah my boyfriend is a different race then I am...I haven't really found anyone who is against interracial dating? It's pretty much the same thing as two people of the same race. I haven't met anyone of the same race as I am around here to much so I pretty much always have to date outside my race.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

first gf was chinese


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

People who are against interracial relationships or who stare disapprovingly at them are assholes. Why would someone be a better bf/gf because of the color of their skin? There is only one race: the human race.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

i was with a korean for awhile. she told me her parents preferred if she dated a korean guy. in the past, my parents have made comments that i should be with a mexican but they never said anything to me when we were together; other than "as long as you two are happy" which kind of has an unapproving tone, IMO.


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## quietgal (Oct 18, 2007)

Yep. I'm Asian, boyfriend is white. Apparently, to some people, this makes me a *****/a gold digger/a status-seeker/insecure about my race/(fill in your favorite asian-girl/white-boy stereotype here, you presumptuous, bigoted *******).

Fortunately, aside from a vague, general feeling that interracial dating is still controversial to some people somewhere, I haven't personally encountered any race-related resistance from my family or his.


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## soma (Nov 10, 2003)

Different flavors of Asian. Does that count as interracial? This was actually a past relationship too. My parents weren't having it in the beginning, but learned to accept it eventually. Her parents were the same way. 

There were some people I knew who looked down on me dating outside of my race, but whatever to that.


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## Raplovehate (Jan 15, 2008)

Nah, but I'd toatlly love to get with someone outside my race, most notably hispanic. I've always thought they were soooooo beautiful.


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## SadRosesAreBeautiful (May 15, 2008)

I have never dated, but I am caucasian and SERIOUSLY prefer to date someone from another race. I am mainly into Middle Eastern, Asian, and Hispanic guys. It might pose a problem for me since my family is unopen to me dating/marrying someone from another race, even though they already know that I'm mainly attracted to those races. But that is their own ignorance and I would still pursue it despite what they think. Sometimes one just needs to break the cycle of ignorance...

Good luck, though!!


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

I have no sexual preference for race, but since most people in my area are "White", most people I find attractive are also "White". I've been attracted to people who many would call "White", "Asian", "Middle Eastern", "South Asian", "Black", "Native American", and "Latino". (People say that I am a male of "Asian" race so I'll believe them for the sake of this post)


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## estelle85 (Jan 22, 2008)

..no i have never been in an interracial Relationship...well havent ever been in a relationship in the first place..anways, not that im against interracial Relationship or anything, it's just that I'm attracted to guys of my race...I would still be "friends" with a guy of a different race but when it comes to dating i would date a Korean guy.:boogie :boogie 
i loveeee korean guys, and now that im back in my homeland..it's like heavennnn~~~~! :wtf :banana :banana :banana


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

I can't imagine being in a relationship...equally difficult with anyone of any race. :lol


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

All my past relationships have been interracial. I'm an Asian female and all my old boyfriends were white. It did not affect my anxiety. I actually wanted to show the world. My family has no problems with it at all. Of course not because my brother in law is white and 99% of my cousins married white people. So family is not an issue and neither are from my friends and other people. So no I never had any problems dating a white guy.


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## jer (Jun 16, 2009)

I have been with a few white women. It is incredibly hard to understand them. They end relationships brutally with a sledgehammer approach.

Some I make mistakes based on cultural differences which I dont realise until later. Just one mistake is enough, they end it.
Could be that they werent that into me in the first place.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

jer said:


> Could be that they werent that into me in the first place.


People who are into you make the effort to bridge cultural gaps and work out relational difficulties or whatever. Not use it as the first excuse to end it. So, by my understanding, yes, they probably weren't really into you. But then, I could be wrong.



> There is only one race: the human race


Technically, humans are a species, not a race.

But I suppose that doesn't make for a catchy, feel good slogan like that one.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

I dated an Hispanic/Native American once. & I'm white.

It didn't cause any problems. We both could laugh at our differences. My family didn't know him intimately so there was no chance of anything bad occurring.


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## Deathinmusic (Jun 5, 2009)

I wish. I'd love to be with a black girl. Or, even better, mixed. They tend to be gorgeous. Rich/varied genetic foundation = good.


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## Timeofallout (Jun 23, 2010)

My ex was of Latin decent. I have to say the only thing that affected my SA was the fact that her culture and parents were so different. So I often felt uncomfortable engaging in conversation with her family (they didn't speak much English). 

Outside of that, it didn't bother me at all.


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## madsv (Mar 19, 2010)

I am in an interracial relationship. My wife is black


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## Rest or Real? (Apr 1, 2011)

I am Hispanic. I never discriminate. Whoever does, **** them.


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## JamesV (Apr 13, 2011)

i was with an asian girl. only person who had a slight problem was my nan but she got over it xD didn't concern me though. gief another asian girl.


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## fanatic203 (Jun 23, 2010)

I'm mixed myself, so pretty much any relationship I get in will be interracial. I'm half white half asian and my boyfriend is white. I haven't met his family yet, but based on things he's told me that they've said, I feel like they might have some slight racist inclinations, being from a rural area, whereas I'm from the city and might be more sensitive to such things. Of course I'm terrified of meeting them because of SA, but I don't think they'll be hostile at all towards me because of race. Religion, on the other hand... they're very Christian and I'm not. I might foresee some problems there.


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

My last two relationships were interracial. My last boyfriend was black and the guy I was seeing before that was Indian. No one ever gave us any trouble over it.

It surprises me that people still make a big deal over stuff like that. But then again, I live in one of the most culturally diverse cities in the world, so it is probably more accepted here than in a lot of other places.


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## StevenGlansberg (Apr 1, 2009)

I've only dated one Asian girl but she was very Asian. She was a panda.

-jg


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## ValiantThor (Dec 6, 2010)

My first girlfriend was black. I got alot of negative remarks, from my parents, friends, random strangers. But we had each other and thats all we needed. My father never even wanted to meet her and we dated for 2.5 years. She is the only girl ive ever love and she was the girl i shouldve married. I know i should be over it by know but im not


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## jmoop (Jul 12, 2009)

madsv: That is such a nice photo!

I am black and I really like Asian guys! I get along with them very well, but I have never dated one. It would be super hard because most of the time black families want their daughters to marry black men and Asian families want their sons to marry Asian women.


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## madsv (Mar 19, 2010)

jmoop said:


> madsv: That is such a nice photo!
> 
> I am black and I really like Asian guys! I get along with them very well, but I have never dated one. It would be super hard because most of the time black families want their daughters to marry black men and Asian families want their sons to marry Asian women.


Thank you so much jmoop


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## lanzman (Jun 14, 2004)

Yeah, but just in my fantasies. Because that's the only kind of relationships I'm capable of initiating.


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## MojoCrunch (Mar 25, 2011)

Was in two interracial relationships. Was kind of stuck in a really white area anyway so it was not like I had much of a choice. They were with the whitest white guys EVER. I mean, Southern Baptist, blue collar comedy tour, "rich boy", all-American type of white. Had absolutely no idea why they liked me or even asked me out at first. One of them lasted a year and it was cool. We had the same interests in music, good futures, and had a lot of fun adventures together. He was cool, but he ended up going to graduate school and we just broke up. We remain friends but nothing more. He has really changed since then - for the better.

The second one was a total mess. I won't even get into the complexes that he had and the fact that he and his family and friends just couldn't get over the fact that I was Indian/had a Muslim background. But I was a bit of the problem too. I had to hide him from my family but my mom found out and just automatically hated him. So I think the problems that would ensue if something serious happened between us would have been bad on both ends. I know I would have been completely disowned if we married or something. I think he let the staring get to him and after a while and he seemed to have this attitude that he was the best thing that ever happened to me. :roll That one did not end nicely but whatever, I don't care anymore. I just didn't need such an insecure, immature person. Come to think of it, this guy won't do well in ANY relationship interracial or NOT. He had quite the ego.

Did date a Hispanic guy who was one of the nicest people I ever met but he ended up going back to Puerto Rico to help his mother. And uhh...he had some questionable tattoos, so it's good that didn't late long at all.

So basically, yeah, if people are genuinely into each other it works. But if they are based on shallowness and stereotypes then no. Honestly, I don't care what a guy is - if we get along then we get along. I've wanted to date more guys of my own race as of recently but the problem is most aren't up for it where I live and their parents raise them to believe it's bad - as well as other problems that I don't feel like addressing. I don't know, dating in general confuses me.



Tenebrous said:


> I am Hispanic. I never discriminate. Whoever does, **** them.


Yes. I've found that Hispanics seem to be the least discriminitory when it comes to race and dating. Plus most of them are hot, so yeah...go hispanics.


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## beethoven (Jan 17, 2011)

I am mixed (European/Native South American) and have mostly dated white girls. When I lived in Rio it wasn't a concern because this is not something people even think about there. Since I moved to Canada I dated a couple of Canadian white girls and never noticed anything concrete, but it's hard to tell what people are thinking when they are staring at us. I'm pretty sure some see it as wrong, but why should I give a **** about what racist people think?


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## RUFB2327 (Sep 28, 2008)

I've never been in one but I'm not against it. My family would not care one bit if I dated someone from another race.

I'm white and I love hispanic girls, so if I ever had the chance I would be all over that.


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## Misanthropic79 (May 6, 2011)

@WhiteRaven

My cousin is in a relationship (soon to be married) with a Filipino guy, they just had a baby boy. So now we have some Asian blood in the family! Nobody in my family disapproves.

My sister went out with a Filipino. He was the only boyfriend of hers I actually liked.

I've been with several different races outside of my own. Filipino, Chinese, Indian, Serbian, Czechoslovakian, Italian and a Koori (aboriginal).


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

I went out with a Jewish girl a while last year, not sure if that's interracial though. Probably not, but she did look reasonably different than me


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## Some Russian Guy (Mar 20, 2009)

factmonger said:


> My boyfriend is Asian and I am Caucasian.


Do you even know what Caucasian really means?


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

jmoop said:


> madsv: That is such a nice photo!
> 
> I am black and I really like Asian guys! I get along with them very well, but I have never dated one. It would be super hard because most of the time black families want their daughters to marry black men and Asian families want their sons to marry Asian women.


Unfortunately, Black women and "Asian" guys don't get a lot of love in the dating world. People have to get over their racial prejudices!



Some Russian Guy said:


> Do you even know what Caucasian really means?


Words have different meanings in different places.

In the UK, "Asian" people are "Brown". In North America, "Asian" people are "yellow".

"Caucasian" in American English means "White people". In Russia, it refers to people from the Kavkaz (Caucasus), who are sometimes called "Black people". But I doubt Americans care about the Russians' definition.


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## Perkins (Dec 14, 2010)

I was in a relationship with my childhood sweetheart. He's half black and white and I am half white and Hispanic. 

Since our parents were/are best friends, they never protested to it. Our friends also reacted the same. 

Our difference in race never affected the relationship. Our troubles had more to do with other things.


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## Some Russian Guy (Mar 20, 2009)

Do asian android wiminz dream of electric white sheep ?


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## Raulz0r (Jun 4, 2011)

I was with a half arab girl last time I had a girlfriend, I haven't met her parents or her dad to be precise, because only he was arab, I could do everything with her besides getting to intimate, still we enjoyed each other company and make out sessions


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

ive never been with a asian girl 
im asian btw


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

I technically am, but my boyfriend passes as white to most people (and I am white), so nobody's ever said anything. Sometimes there are cultural strains between us, however.


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## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

I want a White dude, tbh.


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## Tangerine (Feb 16, 2010)

I'm white, my boyfriend is black, and I've never dated a white guy. My anxiety is very low these days so it doesn't affect that. A lot of my family is what I like to call closet racist, and I have a few family members that are blatantly racist. We just started dating so it's not really a big thing, but only my one sister knows about him being black.

We haven't had any problems yet, except the staring, which cracks me up. A few times other men have made comments like "good job," haha. Once when I was on the bus with my first boyfriend, (who was also black) a black chick *****ed us out on the train and told me to go find a white dude. Crazy.

Mostly people just stare. A lot. It's 2012, wth.


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## Parcius (Jun 3, 2012)

Yes, my boyfriend is from Indonesia, and it is a serious relationship. We are very much alike actually, we just click. However, he is muslim, and I am not, so our future is very uncertain.
Too bad that religion have to come between two people who love each other. But I have to say that his religion makes him a great man, he have a lot of great qualities.
What to do what to do 

Oh and I really don't notice anyone staring at us. Maybe a few old people but nobody ever says anything and they don't look terrified either. 
Well there was this one time, last summer; We were in the park just messing around with my camera, taking pictures of flowers and stuff, when someone drove by, rolled down the window of their car and screamed something like "HEY WHATCHU DOING, ***? TAKING PICTURES? YOU PHOTO-W.HORE! HAHAHA!". That was really hurtful, and very embarrassing since the relationship was new.


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## AustinAnxiety (Jun 21, 2012)

lol i wouldn't mind being in one.. honestly i think there are a ton of girls outside of my race that are hot : p (Coming from a white guy who is German, Italian, Irish, and Dutch)


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## Xtraneous (Oct 18, 2011)

Mhmm.


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

This thread makes me want to go to an Asian family reunion and see how many white people are there.


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## TravisBickle (Jun 29, 2012)

I'm not in any sort of relationship, and never have been, but is anyone worried about what their family would think of interracial dating and marriage?


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## crome (Dec 2, 2008)

I don't think it really matters but I prefer girls that are also latin.. just my preference.


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## BobbyByThePound (Apr 4, 2012)

lyric555 said:


> I want a White dude, tbh.


Does this picture of me change your mind?












komorikun said:


> .... Mexican-American.....
> 
> I think now I'm most attracted to Latinos....


so... you come here often?


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## Black And Mild (Apr 11, 2011)

BobbyByThePound said:


> so... you come here often?


*cockblock*

Hey man, I didn't expect to see you here! How's things going?


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## crome (Dec 2, 2008)

Black And Mild said:


> *cockblock*
> 
> Hey man, I didn't expect to see you here! How's things going?


*block*x2

Hey girl, these creeps bothering you?

:teeth


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## BobbyByThePound (Apr 4, 2012)

player haters...


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## Winds (Apr 17, 2011)

:lurk


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## BrookeHannigan (Mar 29, 2012)

Im white(Half estonian/russian and spanish)
and my boyfriend is from afghanistan,
and his roots are egyptian turkmen and a bunch of other things which the names where to difficult for me to remember :')
but he told me that there are plenty of ''light'' afghans as well not in his family though,but I thought everyone was dark(eyes,hair,tanned skin) like him over there :')
I also had lebanese boyfriends and iranian(but im not sure if those are considered white i gues some are)
Cause one of my boyfriends had pitch black hair and blue/green eyes,
and he considered himself white as well as a lot of other iranians/lebanese ive met so idk but who cares, guys from those countries are always so..hot <3
I also lived in japan due to my dads job and I dated two guys there,
I never dated a estonian man though xD
My parents dont care, if I date another race but they arent very fond of religion cause as my boyfriend is afghan he is muslim but he is really mild with it,
my mother likes him now cause she met him and got to know him but dad is still suspicious lol.


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## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

Benicio Del Toro>>>>>>>>>>>>>Antonio Banderas. Bobby you coulda won me over. :b


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I am a half-Hungarian who speaks Spanish and a wee bit o' Hungarian. :edit

It's hard to find people with that background.


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