# Real man!???



## olschool (Sep 3, 2011)

Ladies what do you mean wheb you say u want a "real man"?


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## Innamorata (Sep 20, 2011)

That phrase means different things to different women.


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## olschool (Sep 3, 2011)

Innamorata said:


> That phrase means different things to different women.


what does it mean to you


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## Innamorata (Sep 20, 2011)

Someone that doesn't feel the need to act all "macho" and like a jerk. Someone that's not afraid to show their feelings. Someone that can be strong but caring.


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## olschool (Sep 3, 2011)

Innamorata said:


> Someone that doesn't feel the need to act all "macho" and like a jerk. Someone that's not afraid to show their feelings. Someone that can be strong but caring.


so you wudnt want a weak man!!!!


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## Innamorata (Sep 20, 2011)

I don't mean physically strong, I mean someone that can support me, and feels comfortable with expressing themselves without worrying what others will think. 

A weak man in my opinion is someone that feels the need to act all macho, and tries to convince others what a big man they are.


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## alwaysmistaken (Aug 25, 2011)

There is no such thing as a 'real' man. Each girl will be able to tell you what qualities she looks for in a man, with the most common being honest, loyal, respectful, trustworthy etc there will also be other qualities that differ from girl to girl. I have a friend who says a 'real' man isnt afraid to show his emotions and cry, I also appreciate it when a guy is comfortable enough in himself to cry without fear of being judged but that doesnt make a man who doesnt cry any less 'real'.


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## olschool (Sep 3, 2011)

Innamorata said:


> I don't mean physically strong, I mean someone that can support me, and feels comfortable with expressing themselves without worrying what others will think.
> 
> A weak man in my opinion is someone that feels the need to act all macho, and tries to convince others what a big man they are.


So, in your opinion, a reall man is somone who can support you financially and who inst afraid to cry ?opcorn


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## Innamorata (Sep 20, 2011)

I didn't say financially, I don't know where you got that from.


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## olschool (Sep 3, 2011)

Innamorata said:


> I didn't say financially, I don't know where you got that from.


im sorry i just figured since you said he should be able to support you it would be financially- - didnt mean any thing by it


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## Nothingness (Oct 26, 2011)

I always figured a *Real Man* meant a guy with alot of money an a big ****!


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## Innamorata (Sep 20, 2011)

Bleah.

No, I'm not offended. I just mean someone that'll listen to me rant, and give me a cuddle and make me feel better. Someone that understands how I feel, especially with the SA. 

Someone that isn't afraid to cry is good too, they don't have to do it in public but they should be able to do it in front of me.


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## River In The Mountain (Jun 6, 2011)

Not sure Ive heard the term before but if I was to give an opinion (and Im gonna!) I would imagine it means a man who is true to himself, whatever that may be. That in itself opens up another can of worms as to what traits a man is true to and if they are favourable to the particular girl who is looking for a 'real man' er..... what?
I want an imaginary man.:con
Where am I?


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## JGreenwood (Jan 28, 2011)

They mean somebody other than ME!


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## Famous (Sep 6, 2011)

Its a term used by homophobes to describe each other.


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## uffie (May 11, 2010)

Me, Im a real man


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## NoIce (Sep 10, 2011)

In it's simple form I see it as something like this:

Attractivness = 
Skill in applicable area to subjective tastes of observer + Physical attributes.

Where skill is lacking, physical attributes can make up
Where Physical attributes are lacking, skill can make up

The end result must be positive however to make a person attractive.

A "real man" is just a name we put on someone who ranks highly in both. 
A "real woman" is just a name we put on someone who ranks highly in both.


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## caseyblue (Oct 3, 2011)

".. a man who doesn't spend his time with his family, can never be a real man"


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## ForeverStallone (Apr 4, 2011)

From this link written by a woman on masculine power, alpha maleness 
http://www.takeninhand.com/node/248

"*The power to command, the quiet confidence to know for sure that he will prevail, and the daring to go for it and take what he wants. A commanding presence even if he doesn't know it. Faint heart never won fair lady. Fearlessness - or daring or courage even in the face of fear. He who dares, wins. Calm assurance. The absence of any hint of asking for a favour or appealing to pity. Directness. Activeness. Effectiveness. Not hiding behind a flirty exterior never daring to risk being direct.*"

"*I alluded to the alpha male idea because it seems as though dominance is a part of it, but it seems to me to be the sort of unaffected, unselfconscious dominance one might call "natural dominance" rather than the theatrical, affected, dominance...*"

And what a man isn't

"*On the other hand, men who have a victim mentality, or who appeal to pity, or who plead or beg for favours, or who grovel, or who are delicate, sensitive, mystical souls like Ayn Rand's "eminent young poet [who] was pale and slender&#8230; had a soft, sensitive mouth, and eyes hurt by the whole universe", or who seem helpless, or who are endlessly sorry for themselves, or who have a bad temper that they can't control, or who otherwise appear weak, don't have it.*"


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## march_hare (Jan 18, 2006)

I don't like that term and I don't use it.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

River In The Mountain said:


> Not sure Ive heard the term before but if I was to give an opinion (and Im gonna!) I would imagine it means a man who is true to himself, whatever that may be. That in itself opens up another can of worms as to what traits a man is true to and if they are favourable to the particular girl who is looking for a 'real man' er..... what?
> I want an imaginary man.:con
> Where am I?


I guess you'll have to look in an imaginary place? :lol

I think the term "real" is mostly used in a derogative way.
_"I want a *real* man", "You call this food? I want *real* food!", "Why don't you listen to some *real* music?"_
It implies that there somehow are some who are judged to be so inferior that their belonging to the 'group' is stripped away from them.
In my view, every man is a real man (unless he's artificial..? :um) and anything other than that is just a way to elevate the personal tastes of an individual seems to some objective standard, because that's easier to defend. And it places the responsibility for my personal tastes, not on me, but on the person I'm looking at disfavourably.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

This means different things to different women.


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## fingertips (Jan 11, 2009)

i am not a woman, but i personally take "real man" to mean a man who is not imaginary.

kim jong-il is a real man.
sherlock holmes is not.


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## northstar1991 (Oct 4, 2011)

Innamorata said:


> Someone that doesn't feel the need to act all "macho" and like a jerk. Someone that's not afraid to show their feelings. Someone that can be strong but caring.


Someone like this is who I would consider a real man.


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## Tugwahquah (Apr 13, 2011)

A real man helps with housework after a hard days work. Hes not afraid to do laundry, do dishes, change a diaper, and run a vacuum.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Just the fact that a man feels like he _needs _to act "macho" is a compensation.

A real man is himself with his own subtleties/behaviors/acts. He doesn't compensate himself to be an image of anything else but himself entirely. He understands that compensation or "acting" comes from a lower mindstate and is happy in the mist of morons who claim he is a "*****" or "weak" when in fact these people speak of macho-mannerisms which are in themselves a compensation. When it comes down to the line, he does what he needs to do and in the long run is more emotionally stable, secure, free, aware and happy because he isn't bogged down by compensations. He doesn't worry himself with what the media and the "macho" world thinks. He will cook and clean and babysit if he wants; he will be a stay-at-home-dad if it calls for; he will do feminine acts if it calls for it - none of these things matter. He is more a man than a compensator who lives their lives to please others with unnecessary personal insecurities.


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

Innamorata said:


> Someone that doesn't feel the need to act all "macho" and like a jerk. Someone that's not afraid to show their feelings. Someone that can be strong but caring.


 This is my definetion of a real man. Hard to find people around my age who arnt all "macho" around me trying to impress me.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

bwidger85 said:


> Just the fact that a man feels like he _needs _to act "macho" is a compensation.
> 
> A real man is himself with his own subtleties/behaviors/acts. He doesn't compensate himself to be an image of anything else but himself entirely. He understands that compensation or "acting" comes from a lower mindstate and is happy in the mist of morons who claim he is a "*****" or "weak" when in fact these people speak of macho-mannerisms which are in themselves a compensation. When it comes down to the line, he does what he needs to do and in the long run is more emotionally stable, secure, free, aware and happy because he isn't bogged down by compensations. He doesn't worry himself with what the media and the "macho" world thinks. He will cook and clean and babysit if he wants; he will be a stay-at-home-dad if it calls for; he will do feminine acts if it calls for it - none of these things matter. He is more a man than a compensator who lives their lives to please others with unnecessary personal insecurities.


Yeah, I agree with this. On a recent thread, many guys said that they would never hug another guy. It really irked me for some reason reading that. Some guys also say they wouldn't let their girlfriend touch their anus during sex cause that would be gay. It's clear they are not confident in their sexuality and I would not consider them real men. If you can't do certain things just because you don't want to be considered gay or feminine, you are not a real man.


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## jamesd (Feb 17, 2011)

A "real man" is a term that women use to shame their boyfriends into doing things they normally wouldn't.


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## fingertips (Jan 11, 2009)

jamesd said:


> A "real man" is a term that women use to shame their boyfriends into doing things they normally wouldn't.


of course, men would never use "real man" to shame other men.


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

Real men do manly things like shave with shards of broken glass and bathe in bear sweat. Everyone knows this. It is fact, for it has been written on the internet.


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## Charizard (Feb 16, 2011)

olschool said:


> Ladies what do you mean wheb you say u want a "real man"?


Ooh, I know the answer to this one! _Many _facebook status updates have told me.

A real man is:
Strong without being macho
Dominant without being pushy
Stoic yet sensitive
Fiscally responsible, except for those presents he buys you
Above fighting, but would also never run from a fight
Kind without being a pushover

Above all, a real man is an impossible standard and an idealization meant to make average guys feel bad for not fitting into a narrowly defined social norm.

I'm sure the ladies here all have more reasonable standards than what I've posted, but I needed to vent just a little.


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## itisgoingtobefine (May 15, 2011)

I think a real man is simply a male that loves his family and is faithful to his wife. He does whatever he can to help out. I use the phrase "whatever he can" because life isn't fair. What that individual can and can not do depends on his age, and other things. But the point is He's got a good heart, and shows it in the things he does.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

komorikun said:


> Yeah, I agree with this. On a recent thread, many guys said that they would never hug another guy. It really irked me for some reason reading that. Some guys also say they wouldn't let their girlfriend touch their anus during sex cause that would be gay. It's clear they are not confident in their sexuality and I would not consider them real men. If you can't do certain things just because you don't want to be considered gay or feminine, you are not a real man.


Lol....actually, i wouldn't want anything touching my anus and I say that with pure humbleness. That area is restricted, and I'm not afraid to hug another man. lol. Doesn't entice me in the slightest.

*Edit*
Really, I'm not the huggy-type. I will hug if it calls for it but I'm not the type to go around hugging guys and girls for the heck of it. Maybe this is what they mean. If it was a funeral - yes, I'd hug; a girl on a date - yes, I'd hug; a guy emotionally distraught to the point where he was bailing his eyes out - yes, a brief hug; a family member - yeah, hug. It's just not me but that has nothing to do with me being afraid to hug. I just don't like doing it because it feels like it's just too much.


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

OldSchoolSkater said:


> You guys (and girls!) all make me laugh.


Laughing with or laughing at? Yes, this is a test


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## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

When I think of "real man" I like to think of what the differences are bewteen what I conseder a man and a boy.

A man is responsible, courteous, respectful, takes control of his life, makes his own decisions, is responsible for his actions, can take care of himself, can communicate effectively.

Not age realted either. I've seen some teenagers be better men then some 30 year olds.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

I don't particularly care for the term, anyone possessing the requisite anatomy and the congruent brain chemistry satisfies the criteria for qualification as one, IMO.

Though there are certain states of mind(? I can't think of a better term) that make one feel particularly masculine. Lack of fear is one of them. Not in an overconfident, aggressive kind of way, but a sort of calm assurance and trust in one's own self-reliance to deal with things. I can't explain the feeling, but it's like a high.

On the flip side, you can feel very un-masculine with other states of mind. Like being bullied. Allowing oneself to be bullied feels very, very un-masculine.

At least that's true for me, I don't think I can speak for anyone else. And I'm talking about how "masculinity" feels to me as a guy, not as criteria for judgement of someone else as a man.


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## 390 (Jul 29, 2010)

Innamorata said:


> Someone that doesn't feel the need to act all "macho" and like a jerk. Someone that's not afraid to show their feelings. Someone that can be strong but caring.


Well I guess that makes me a real man. Yay me! :yay


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

au Lait said:


> Real men do manly things like shave with shards of broken glass and bathe in bear sweat. Everyone knows this. It is fact, for it has been written on the internet.


Now my face is all hacked up and a female bear gave me her phone # :um


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## humourless (Sep 27, 2011)

Tugwahquah said:


> A real man helps with housework after a hard days work. Hes not afraid to do laundry, do dishes, change a diaper, and run a vacuum.


So I am a real man after all! 
I'll never doubt myself again.


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## jamesd (Feb 17, 2011)

Tugwahquah said:


> A real man helps with housework after a hard days work. Hes not afraid to do laundry, do dishes, change a diaper, and run a vacuum.


Sounds like you want a maid and not a man. :no


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## Lanter (Aug 3, 2011)

au Lait said:


> Real men do manly things like shave with shards of broken glass and bathe in bear sweat. Everyone knows this. It is fact, for it has been written on the internet.


Not shaving with carved bones of said bear? Way to be inefficient. I also use it's blood to flavor my sting-nettle tea, which of course contains whole leaves to make it that much more spicy.


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## Tugwahquah (Apr 13, 2011)

jamesd said:


> Sounds like you want a maid and not a man. :no


Yeah well, I guess if I'm working my full-time job and coming home to do the shopping, cooking, cleaning the bathrooms, taking out the trash, washing the dog, and etc, etc. I want someone that's going to help out. You'd be surprised, there are men I known that think they don't need to do a dam thing. :mum That gets tiring real fast, and they wondered why I was too tired to make out* at the end of the day.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Lanter said:


> Not shaving with carved bones of said bear? Way to be inefficient. I also use it's blood to flavor my sting-nettle tea, which of course contains whole leaves to make it that much more spicy.


lol


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## sherbert (Jun 24, 2005)

*my rational definition:*

A _real man_ uses the skulls of his fallen enemies as goblets, the tears of children to flavor his 20 oz. steak and he has a harem of women to satisfy his earthy desires.

:roll


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

And to think I threw away a bucket of bear sweat this morning :/

And no, I'll never explain how or why I owned bear sweat.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

Tugwahquah said:


> Yeah well, I guess if I'm working my full-time job and coming home to do the shopping, cooking, cleaning the bathrooms, taking out the trash, washing the dog, and etc, etc. I want someone that's going to help out. You'd be surprised, there are men I known that think they don't need to do a dam thing. :mum That gets tiring real fast, and they wondered why I was too tired to make out* at the end of the day.


Well, you should know that _real men_ do jobs for men, IE: hard on the body. Soliciting his big muscles!

So obviously, he'll be more tired than you are once he gets home!


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

i man-handle puny men!!!! and sweat bear tears!! while deactivating atomic bombs with a toothpick....

jus sayin'


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## OutrageouslyAdorable (Nov 4, 2011)

Not a huge D word!


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## Rex92 (Oct 6, 2011)

I always assumed the term mentioned a man that could satisfy her in bed.


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## Tugwahquah (Apr 13, 2011)

TPower said:


> Well, you should know that _real men_ do jobs for men, IE: hard on the body. Soliciting his big muscles!
> 
> So obviously, he'll be more tired than you are once he gets home!


Ha Ha, that made me laugh.... :no Not.


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

Lanter said:


> Not shaving with carved bones of said bear? Way to be inefficient. I also use it's blood to flavor my sting-nettle tea, which of course contains whole leaves to make it that much more spicy.





Atticus said:


> Now my face is all hacked up and a female bear gave me her phone # :um


You are both truly the manliest men of SAS :yes


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

au Lait said:


> You are both truly the manliest men of SAS :yes


Vindication is sweet :yes


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