# toastmasters



## growingwings (Apr 14, 2010)

I am going to toastmasters at 6:30 tomorrow morning (sooo early :sus). I have only gone twice so far, and have not given any speeches or anything, but I am proud of myself for going. I was suprised how many people in toastmasters actually have a fear of public speaking and go to the meetings for that reason. It seems like it will be a really supportive environment for feeling more confident with public speaking. Anyone else looked into toastmasters before?


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## Steve123 (Sep 13, 2009)

A psychiatrist told me I should look into it. What exactly goes on at these meetings?


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## growingwings (Apr 14, 2010)

My group is pretty small, about 12 people? Each meeting 1 or 2 people give short prepared speeches or presentations. These can be about anything. People in the audience can fill rolls such as timing the speech and giving the speaker cues as to how much time is left. Someone else might use a checklist of guidelines to evaluate the speech, according to the speaker's goals. For example, if someone always fidgets with a pen or says "um" alot while they are speaking, someone might be assigned to gently point this out to the speaker when it happens. Basically it's a way to practice giving speeches. You can decide how many speeches to give and when to give them. Other people are just there to support you. I like it because lots of people there have the same issue (anxiety) and are really supportive in helping each other improve themselves.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

Sounds interesting. I plan on going after I move. I already know half the people in my local toastmasters (customers, friends of grandparents, etc) and I kind of don't want to hang with them.


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## tomcoldaba (Jul 1, 2007)

Congratulations. I am a toastmaster for 3 years. I belong to 3 clubs. Toastmasters really helped me to kick my anxiety and made my job easier. I found that by belonging to 3 clubs, I could give the same speech to 3 different audiences. The first time I gave my icebreaker speech, I was terrified. I gave the same speech next day at my second club, my anxiety was manageable. When I gave the same speech to the third club, I was nervous but not anxious. I realized that Cognitive Beh. Therapy works. Do the same exercise till the anxiety goes away. Giving the same speech many times to different audiences really helps.

Most toastmasters have anxiety issues. That is why they are at toastmasters. 

Keep up the good work.


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## cinammon (Mar 18, 2010)

Congratulations. I am a toastmaster for 3 years. I belong to 3 clubs. Toastmasters really helped me to kick my anxiety and made my job easier. I found that by belonging to 3 clubs, I could give the same speech to 3 different audiences. The first time I gave my icebreaker speech, I was terrified. I gave the same speech next day at my second club, my anxiety was manageable. When I gave the same speech to the third club, I was nervous but not anxious. I realized that Cognitive Beh. Therapy works. Do the same exercise till the anxiety goes away. Giving the same speech many times to different audiences really helps.

Most toastmasters have anxiety issues. That is why they are at toastmasters. 

Congratulations Tomcoldaba on being in Toastmasters, I have joined Toastmasters NUMEROUS TIMES (at least 4)10, 15 and 20 years ago and I would start off great, the most I would give is 3 or 4 speeches and then I would stop going. I would love to start going again but it takes alot of time and committment and right now I am going to college at night when the meeting is so maybe after I finish with school which will be at least 5 years from now, I will have more time. The day a year ago that I was going to rejoin Toastmasters I was fired from my job so that threw off my plans but I am going to go back and work on completing my speeches so I can get a certificate. One thing, it does look good on your resume and help getting a job which I do need right now. Good luck in Toastmasters!!!!!!


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## sherbert (Jun 24, 2005)

*They make toasters, duh!*

:b Awesome! I'm sure that experience will be very beneficial to you. 
6:30? LOL I am not a morning person either! About once a week I have to help out on the truck at work, which is at 5:00. I roll out of bed usually at 4:05-10, later if I feel lucky... although traffic is terrific at that time!

There's a local chapter in my area, I emailed and left a very dis-jointed message on the coordinator's voice-mail. There was no response back. The next option was to either go to the highschool or join another group. It's something that has interested me for some time, after hearing about it here. Still, it is a little too much to commit to right now b/c of work and the fact that I too plan on going back to school. So while I could do it, there's other things down the pike.


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## knuckles17 (Jun 27, 2009)

sounds intresting my psychiatrist told me i should look into it but how old are most people there? just wondering age doesn't matter but i have more trouble with people closer to my age than full adults


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## tomcoldaba (Jul 1, 2007)

cinammon said:


> Congratulations Tomcoldaba on being in Toastmasters, I have joined Toastmasters NUMEROUS TIMES (at least 4)10, 15 and 20 years ago and I would start off great, the most I would give is 3 or 4 speeches and then I would stop going. I would love to start going again but it takes alot of time and committment and right now I am going to college at night when the meeting is so maybe after I finish with school which will be at least 5 years from now, I will have more time. The day a year ago that I was going to rejoin Toastmasters I was fired from my job so that threw off my plans but I am going to go back and work on completing my speeches so I can get a certificate. One thing, it does look good on your resume and help getting a job which I do need right now. Good luck in Toastmasters!!!!!!


I had the same experience as you with toastmasters in years past. I joined a toastmasters club; I gave 3 or 4 speeches and then I would stop going. Too much work. I did this twice and like you gave up on toastmasters.

However, in 2007, on advice from another toastmaster, I joined 3 clubs at the same time. I gave the same speech to the 3 clubs in quick succession. I scheduled them back to back. I was amazed how the levels of my anxiety dropped after each speech. For example, I was terrified on giving my icebreaker to my first club on Saturday. I did not sleep the previous night. I gave the same speech on Sunday to the next club. I was anxious but had a good night's sleep. The following Saturday, I gave the same ice breaker speech to my third club. I was nervous. I slept well the previous night.

In 6 months, I gave 3 speeches to the 3 clubs. That means I gave 9 speeches in 6 months. I performed other roles such as toastmaster, table topics master, evaluator and general evaluator.

CBT manuals tell you to perform the same exposure (speech) repeatedly till your anxiety goes away. I am applying CBT approach to toastmasters. That is why the more clubs I belong to, the faster my recovery.

I recommended this approach to my fellow toastmaster who had social anxiety. She joined the second club and noted the difference in her anxiety after she gave the same speech twice to different audiences. It makes a huge difference.

However, if you join one club, I think you will get frustrated and quit. One Toastmaster club is just too much work. Just join 2 or 3 clubs for 6 months and try my method and see if it works.

Please feel free to message if you have any questions.


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## growingwings (Apr 14, 2010)

knuckles17 said:


> ...how old are most people there? just wondering age doesn't matter but i have more trouble with people closer to my age than full adults


Most of the people i have met are working professionals in their 40s. But it's a mix. There are even a few people in their 20s like me. I get along better with "grown ups" too.


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## Tweedy (Jan 10, 2010)

Wow, you guys are so brave!!! :clap
I've heard of this Toastmasters thing before, sounds like it's worth looking into.


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## cinammon (Mar 18, 2010)

tomcoldaba said:


> I had the same experience as you with toastmasters in years past. I joined a toastmasters club; I gave 3 or 4 speeches and then I would stop going. Too much work. I did this twice and like you gave up on toastmasters.
> 
> However, in 2007, on advice from another toastmaster, I joined 3 clubs at the same time. I gave the same speech to the 3 clubs in quick succession. I scheduled them back to back. I was amazed how the levels of my anxiety dropped after each speech. For example, I was terrified on giving my icebreaker to my first club on Saturday. I did not sleep the previous night. I gave the same speech on Sunday to the next club. I was anxious but had a good night's sleep. The following Saturday, I gave the same ice breaker speech to my third club. I was nervous. I slept well the previous night.
> 
> ...


That is a GREAT suggestion Tomcoldaba, I never thought of this and it makes sense because like you said, the more I keep doing public speaking, the better my speaking will get because of constant exposure and practice and also going to the different clubs appeal to me because it wouldn't be the same group over and over again. Now how did you join 3 different groups, did you have to pay three different memberships or did you just pay one membership? I found in the past I paid for one membership so I was a member of that one group. Also when the speaking contests came up, how did you choose which group you would represent? There is one group that is about 15 minutes from me, then one about 45 minutes from me and I don't know of a third group that is closer than 2 hours away but I will look into it though. Thank you for your ideas, they do make sense for sure. This is the approach I will use when I rejoin Toastmasters. Now I was never a Toastmaster, but I didn't mind doing the Table topics, being a timer, and the evaluator and general evaluator I didn't do much because I didn't feel I was as experienced as the other people who spoke. Now you say that joining one Toastmaster club is too much work but what about joining 2 or 3, that is alot of work too LOL!!! But I do love your idea of repeatedly doing speeches in order to get more practice and gradually reducing my public speaking fear. That is OUTSTANDING that you have done 9 speeches in 6 months!!!!! I did the speech where you talk about yourself, then the next 2 or 3 and then is where I start to lose steam LOL!!!!! I found it kind of hard to speak about myself because in the beginning I didn't have much to talk about but as the years have gone on, it has gotten much better thank God but I still need alot of work!!!!!! But I don't want to give up because this has been my goal since I have been in my 20's, so I want to continue and reach my goal for myself.


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## tomcoldaba (Jul 1, 2007)

cinammon said:


> Now how did you join 3 different groups, did you have to pay three different memberships or did you just pay one membership? I found in the past I paid for one membership so I was a member of that one group.
> 
> Now you say that joining one Toastmaster club is too much work but what about joining 2 or 3, that is alot of work too LOL!!!


Cinammon - thanks for your response. I paid membership for each club. For 6 months Toastmaster membership is $27. I paid $27 X 3 plus club dues. Each club charged me $5 each. For 3 club membership, I paid $102 in total for 6 months. The cost is low for the benefit I got. If I took drugs, I would pay a lot more and let's not forget the side effects.

The time to research, write and rehearse your speech is a lot of work. According to many toastmasters, depending on the level of your anxiety, a speech takes from 5 hours to 9 hours. You give the speech; then you are done. But if you join several clubs, you are giving the same speech to the other club(s). You are not spending the 5 -9 preparation hours. Anxiety sufferers are perfectionists. That is why we spend so much time preparing our speeches. As a toastmaster said today, we are our worst enemies - we are so critical of ourselves.

I gave my ice breaker speech - where I talked about myself - 3 times. Most important, I noticed I was nervous not anxious when I gave the same speech the third time. It was real eye opener.

Like you, I hated to talked about myself. Another SA trait. Now after giving 20 speeches (5 speeches repeatedly 4 times), I talk about myself. I am comfortable in front of an audience.

I live in the DC area. There are many toastmaster clubs. I don't have your issue. For the club that is 2 hours away from your house, you may not want to join them but ask them if you could be a guest speaker a couple of times. They will agree to that. In your case two clubs will work. Your improvement will be slower.

My toastmaster friend joined two clubs and found she improved greatly. The bottom line is this. The more exposures (speeches) you have, the faster your anxiety will diminish. The key is to repeat your speech to different audiences. You may try a public speaking course at your community college or book club or other speaking opportunities and give the same speech(es) to the different groups.

I work for a major IT company. When our sales team gave a presentation to the client. They did 5 rehearsals before a live audience before they presented to the client. They don't have SA.

Hope this helps.


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## cinammon (Mar 18, 2010)

I paid membership for each club. For 6 months Toastmaster membership is $27. I paid $27 X 3 plus club dues. Each club charged me $5 each. For 3 club membership, I paid $102 in total for 6 months. The cost is low for the benefit I got. If I took drugs, I would pay a lot more and let's not forget the side effects

Amen, I agree, paying $102.00 is much cheaper than paying for medication to take for SA. You definitely got much more of a benefit especially in terms of long term effects and changing the behavior of SA. And even though I haven't gotten my Toastmaster certificate, each time I joined, I worked on my public speaking and my SA improved if only a little bit. In classes, I can tell about myself much easier because of the practice I got from Toastmasters and it also made me aware of when I felt that it was harder to talk about myself and now I do volunteer work and have hobbies that I can talk about and share with others. Being in Toastmasters definitely make me more aware of what I needed to work on and it is a safe supportive place to do so. The people in the group are very nice and give very helpful suggestions for improvement.


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## cinammon (Mar 18, 2010)

The time to research, write and rehearse your speech is a lot of work. According to many toastmasters, depending on the level of your anxiety, a speech takes from 5 hours to 9 hours. You give the speech; then you are done. But if you join several clubs, you are giving the same speech to the other club(s). You are not spending the 5 -9 preparation hours. Anxiety sufferers are perfectionists. That is why we spend so much time preparing our speeches. As a toastmaster said today, we are our worst enemies - we are so critical of ourselves.

I agree, when I wrote my speeches, they took about 4-5 hours but like I said the hardest was trying to think of things to talk about because when I was in my 20's other than work and college, I wasn't doing much of anything and I didn't have a boyfriend or any friends, nieces, nephew, dog, nothing and not many hobbies LOL!!! But now in my 40's I have more things to talk about and it makes the process of talking about myself and what is going on in my life much easier. Also, I have accomplished more in my 40's than I did in my 20's so I think that makes it easier too if I had to do an Icebreaker speech now.


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## cinammon (Mar 18, 2010)

My toastmaster friend joined two clubs and found she improved greatly. The bottom line is this. The more exposures (speeches) you have, the faster your anxiety will diminish. The key is to repeat your speech to different audiences. You may try a public speaking course at your community college or book club or other speaking opportunities and give the same speech(es) to the different groups.

I work for a major IT company. When our sales team gave a presentation to the client. They did 5 rehearsals before a live audience before they presented to the client. They don't have SA. 

Hope this helps.

I agree, doing more speeches in front of different audiences is the key, that when we do things repeatedly, that is the way to overcome the fear. I just developed this blinking everytime sometime takes a picture and the flash goes off so I am attempting to overcome this fear the same way. It is annoying though because my father feels that it is stupid that I do this and he thinks that by yelling at me, I will stop doing it but of course I don't. So I work on overcoming it by exposure and patience with myself. I had a chance this semester to take a public speaking course or a communication course and I took the communication course because I felt that it would be easier and less stressful which it was but I would have learned alot more if I took the public speaking course. I will have to take a public speaking course eventually anyway so whether I join Toastmasters or take a public speaking course later on, I will be taking courses to practice speaking in public, I enjoy giving speeches but it does take ALOT OF WORK AND DEDICATION to give a good speech. At my college, they gave a speech contest and the winner got $500.00, their name on a plaque and the winner had to give the speech again at a later date at a luncheon. Now that would really make me nervous LOL!!!But hopefully I can work up to the point where I could participate in something like that and WIN!!!! The winner also was in the newspaper with the second and third prize winner which was nice too. Have you ever participated in any Toastmaster contests? I would like to get to the point where I could do that too but that scares me too LOL!!!!!


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## tomcoldaba (Jul 1, 2007)

cinammon said:


> Have you ever participated in any Toastmaster contests? I would like to get to the point where I could do that too but that scares me too LOL!!!!!


I set my goals low. First I decided to focus on getting rid of stage fright then worry about speech contests. If I lose a contest, I may end up dealing with depression LOL! I don't want to add another mental health issue to one I already have (SA). Next year, I will get into the speech contest. It has taken me a couple of years before I lowered my SA. If you do too much it may increase your anxiety. I am using the step approach in Ronald Rapee 's book Overcoming Shyness and social phobia.

In fact you used subtle avoidance by taking the communication class instead of the public speaking class.


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## knuckles17 (Jun 27, 2009)

growingwings said:


> Most of the people i have met are working professionals in their 40s. But it's a mix. There are even a few people in their 20s like me. I get along better with "grown ups" too.


ah cool thanks!


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## Skip_DJ (Jan 30, 2010)

Toastmasters.....Toastmasters??

W-Why....whenever I hear/see that word....all that comes into my head is that green jar of peanut butter with the ugly looking kid in the chef's hat smiling stupidly?

Toast? TOAAAAAAAST!!

I'm probably getting it ALLLL wrong.


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## cinammon (Mar 18, 2010)

tomcoldaba said:


> I set my goals low. First I decided to focus on getting rid of stage fright then worry about speech contests. If I lose a contest, I may end up dealing with depression LOL! I don't want to add another mental health issue to one I already have (SA). Next year, I will get into the speech contest. It has taken me a couple of years before I lowered my SA. If you do too much it may increase your anxiety. I am using the step approach in Ronald Rapee 's book Overcoming Shyness and social phobia.
> 
> In fact you used subtle avoidance by taking the communication class instead of the public speaking class.


Oh, no doubt I used subtle avoidance by taking the communication class instead of the public speaking class, for sure and it was a mistake because I would have enjoyed the public speaking class more and I would have definitely learned more as well. I agree that taking small steps is much better than taking drastic changes because it is better and more attainable to make goals that are easier and more realistic to reach, that is true. I will check out that book you mentioned, it isn't one that I have heard of I don't think and it sounds like it is good if it is helpful in helping people with SA reach their goals in small steps. And you are right about the speech contests also and not taking those right now, i never thought about the result of not winning a contest, I too wouldn't want to be depressed as a result of not winning and until I become successful at public speaking, I would be setting myself up for failure by not being prepared for participating in a speaking contest. Thank you for all your help!!!!


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## cinammon (Mar 18, 2010)

tomcoldaba said:


> I set my goals low. First I decided to focus on getting rid of stage fright then worry about speech contests. If I lose a contest, I may end up dealing with depression LOL! I don't want to add another mental health issue to one I already have (SA). Next year, I will get into the speech contest. It has taken me a couple of years before I lowered my SA. If you do too much it may increase your anxiety. I am using the step approach in Ronald Rapee 's book Overcoming Shyness and social phobia.
> 
> In fact you used subtle avoidance by taking the communication class instead of the public speaking class.


And true, I have to set my goals low also. I have started by doing volunteer work, that gets me used to working and being around others, I enjoy what I do and I am helping others. This summer I will be doing some more volunteer work along with taking college classes( in the fall) and looking for a job. I think setting small goals is very helpful in improving SA because the charge is gradual and permanent not drastic and temporary.


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## tomcoldaba (Jul 1, 2007)

cinammon said:


> I will check out that book you mentioned, it isn't one that I have heard of I don't think and it sounds like it is good if it is helpful in helping people with SA reach their goals in small steps.


This book is one of 4 books I have on SA. They all say the same thing. Repeat the exposure over and over until your fear is completely disappeared. I am a consultant for a major IT company. This week I led 3 meetings of 2 hours each. The first meeting, I was sweating for a few minutes. I remind myself I have done this at toastmasters several times. This is just another audience. Also, I am leading this meetings where I am not a subject matter expert. I told myself, it is ok to sweat, I am not an expert. I am filing in for my boss who was unavailable. After a couple of minutes, my sweating subsided and I focused on the discussion on hand. There are 10 - 12 people in the room for these meetings. I would have declined to lead such meetings in the past. After the meetings, I do not have any negative thoughts like I had in the past. This is a huge improvement.


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## cinammon (Mar 18, 2010)

I agree with you, repeated exposure is the only way that makes SA improve with time. That is awesome that you were able to do 3 meetings with minimal anxiety, I have to work up to that point. Right now I am doing repeated exposure with different social situations that I go to on a regular basis for example church, I am making myself go even though I would rather stay home, it does nothing for my SA to avoid going and seeing people on a regular basis. Avoidance doesn't work with SA and it is tempting to stay home and avoid the social situation but it is better in the long run to face the social situation and just go, socialize and try to have fun.


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## tomcoldaba (Jul 1, 2007)

I saw a clip on Warren Buffet, the second richest man, on Youtube. He took a public speaking course at Dale Carniege because he was scared to death of public speaking. He teaches a class on investing to prevent the fear of public speaking rearing itself. Here is the clip






Keep up the good work.


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## cinammon (Mar 18, 2010)

tomcoldaba said:


> I saw a clip on Warren Buffet, the second richest man, on Youtube. He took a public speaking course at Dale Carniege because he was scared to death of public speaking. He teaches a class on investing to prevent the fear of public speaking rearing itself. Here is the clip
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Thank you for posting this link, I went and watched it and I like Dale Carnegie, I have his books and they are very helpful when I have to go out and socialize and I feel uncomfortable, I reach for his books as well as Norman Vincent Peale. I have never heard of Warren Buffett but I will look at more of the video clips on youtube, there was another good one on there of Dale Carnegie and I watched it but I couldn't find the link again.


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## cinammon (Mar 18, 2010)

cinammon said:


> Thank you for posting this link, I went and watched it and I like Dale Carnegie, I have his books and they are very helpful when I have to go out and socialize and I feel uncomfortable, I reach for his books as well as Norman Vincent Peale. I have never heard of Warren Buffett but I will look at more of the video clips on youtube, there was another good one on there of Dale Carnegie and I watched it but I couldn't find the link again.







This is the link and what it says is true, we spend so much time worrying instead of working toward the problem or goal that we want to achieve in life, it make me think alot.


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## tomcoldaba (Jul 1, 2007)

cinammon said:


>


Thank you for the clip. I have lived by Dale Carneige for a long time. I read his books " How to stop worrying and start living" and " How to win friends and influence people".

What surprised me about this clip was the 4 steps of dealing with worry. These steps are theme of the Cognitive Behavioral Technique for overcome SA.

In other news, I told my toastmaster club about how I overcame SA. I joined 3 clubs and gave the same speech to 3 different audiences. One of the members is a therapist dealing with anxiety disorders. She had not thought of joining 3 clubs and giving the same speech. The light bulb went off in her head. She joined a second club and gave the same speech. The divisional governor who is also a member wanted me to speak at the division contest about my findings. I declined as I had to travel for work.


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