# the annoying feeling that something is wrong



## realrage (Jul 11, 2005)

I always have this feeling sitting with me that I've done something wrong. This thought that something I've done just isn't correct. Some impending doom awaits me. I believe it's just my generalized anxiety disorder but nevertheless, it's a confusing feeling. Just as I'm about to feel a little better, I'm reminded nicely that I am in fact a total screwup. A thought will arise that had been successfully pushed to the back of my head. That could be a reason why I just never feel comfortable, something is always just around the corner. I know it, I feel it, I just haven't thought it yet. What do you do to relax? I never really admit to myself that I am having a good time. That only opens the door, although I would like to say how much I'm enjoying myself. I know when I'm not having a good time. So I should have the faith to know the opposite as well.


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

It probably is your GAD showing it's ugly head... I feel that way 24/7. As to relaxing, that's something that I haven't quite gotten a handle on. Just when I feel like I'm able to 'untense', the 'impending doom' feeling comes back on me like a tidal wave.


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## cicada (Aug 25, 2005)

I feel like that most of the time, too. Even when nothing bad is happening, I feel like something bad is about to happen. Thinking back, I have realized that when I was a child, and I heard about bad things happening to other people (usually from my mother who overreacts to things), I got the impression that dealing with loss was the worst most devastating thing ever. Somehow I got this belief that having to face grief meant that a person's life would be ruined forever. THe crazy thing is as a child I didn't have to deal with the loss of someone really close to me. I got the idea that if I imagined all the terrible things that could happen to myself and loved ones, it would somehow make me more prepared when something bad did happen. I am not saying that the loss of a loved one wouldn't be traumatic and devastating for awhile. Most people, however, who have gone through something like that are usually able to recover and live satisfying lives. Sure they will always have a sense of loss, but the intensity of the grief generally fades with time and they can lead normal lives. I think my fear of grief, and of never being able to handle it, is at the core of my GAD.

This habit I have of imagining horrible things happening to loved ones has only tainted the good times when nothing bad is happening. I have gotten so good at imagining these awful things that I really feel true fear, grief, and mourning over these things that aren't even real. I have just in the last couple of years realized what harm I am doing to myself by having these awful depressing thoughts so often. I usually have several a day. SOmetimes I don't even realize what I am doing until I feel intense fear or grief. This realization that this habit is backfiring, helps, but it is a difficult habit to stop. And, now I am at a point in my life where bad things are more likely to happen to loved ones. My parents are older and not in the best of health. My aunts and uncles are also dealing with health problems. 
The most immediate thing I have been dealing with is my cat's cancer.
She had surgery for it several months ago. All was going well until I noticed a suspicious looking area in her mouth (where the cancer was removed) and now she is at the animal hospital waiting to get a biopsy. 

As I was sitting here this morning imagining what life would be like without my kitty (and I haven't even gotten the results of the biopsy yet, but, of course, I assume the worst!)I started feeling really bad. Then I realized a lot of my anxiety was due to how I thought I would deal with the loss. The feeling in my gut was awful like I'd never get over the loss. The thing was I was already feeling grief and I haven't even lost her yet. Then I realized that I already know what it would be like dealing with the loss because I feel that way several times a week already. I have lost other pets as well. It was intensely sad for a few weeks and then the grief would only surface occasionally, and now several years later, I can think of those pets without feeling sad. I actually enjoy those memories now. This proves that the loss would not ruin my life forever. 

Anyway, I just wanted to share what I figured out this morning. Somehow it lessened my anxiety.


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## march_hare (Jan 18, 2006)

I have similar problems... there is always something on my mind or something in the near future that is stressing me out and I'm worried over even the smallest tasks. I am so under-confident that even the smallest things I have to do I worry about and I always immediately assume that I can't do it.


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## realrage (Jul 11, 2005)

Thanks for the comments guys. I believe to a point everyone struggles with this thought or feeling that doesn't enable them to be totally comfortable. A feeling a uncertainty lurking. It's just interesting to know how people deal with it, and what their methods of coping are.


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## rommelvon (Dec 3, 2006)

OMG I thought I was the only one who had this feeling....it's the most irritating thing, to feel or sense something is wrong, but everything is ok.....dayum.......nice to know I'm not alone


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