# Avoidance Personality Disorder



## Mellah (Nov 10, 2003)

Anyone else have social anxiety so severe that now you have developed avoidance personality disorder? 
In the past couple years my anxiety has gotten so bad that I now just completely ignore all people and all situations. I really feel bad because I have been with my boyfriend for over 6 years now and i've only met his family 2 or 3 times  My boyfriend also suffers from s.a but it's not as bad as mine so his family understands s.a. I do talk to his brothers online a few times a week so we have gotten close that way but I feel really guilty for not seeing them. I don't think my S.A can get any worse than it is now.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Mellah said:


> Anyone else have social anxiety so severe that now you have developed avoidance personality disorder?


About once a month this debate of SA vs AVPD comes up and after seeing literally a hundred posts on it I still think they are the same thing.

They differ only in degree. It's like saying "this water is hot". Well, hot can mean hot enough for a warm bath or hot enough to put you in the ER -- both are hot, but differ in how hot. The same is true of SA. I think AVPD is nothing more than a rarely used term for extreme cases of SA. My official diagnosis is "Severe social phobia with generalized anxiety, DSM 300.23." The fact that the doctor who wrote that gives me 10 mg of Xanax daily and has been doing so for years and deems me too disabled to perform any job that exists and "too unstable to attend or participate in" therapy would seem to suggest that he think I'm a rather extreme case, yet even he doesn't use AVPD to describe me, even though I fit the definition perfectly.

As a practical matter, it really make no difference what label you put upon it. Is the treatment any different? It's still the same thing.

I don't think labels matter much here or in many other areas. In a totally unrelated area anybody who's heard Ron Paul open his mouth knows that he's a libertarian despite the (R) after his name.


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## rachelynn (Sep 12, 2008)

*Mellah*: I avoid nearly everything as much as I can, even to the point where I don't even know why I do it anymore, if that even makes any sense! Atleast your boyfriend's family understands SA...

*UltraShy*: Interesting thoughts...I've kind of gone crazy before trying to research and compare these two! I wonder how or why anyone ever came up with AVPD! I think a lot of people wonder if they now have "avoidant personality disorder" or if that's what the original problem was to begin with...but of course it's pretty much the same thing, just different names! If there really is a difference, someone should write a book about them both...or make it more clearly defined.


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## BeachGaBulldog (Feb 13, 2007)

I avoid people as much as I can every single day. There are extremely very few people I talk to. I have been this way for a long time.


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## Biscuit (Mar 20, 2009)

Avoidance is the cause of so much grief for me. I'll skip class for weeks because I can't face the chance that the teacher will mention my absence. 

think the distinction between SA and AVPD is that social anxiety is more in-the-moment, a reaction to a situation, and avoidance is more like a "this-might-happen-so-lets-just-not-do-anything" sort of situation, where I'll write things off or plan future behaviour based on my extreme fear of being in a negative situation

God, I don't know. It's really hard to distinguish with words, but i think the relationship between APVD-SA is like depression-SA...they are intertwined and feed off each other but i don't think they are one and the same.


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## Madison_Rose (Feb 27, 2009)

Lots of useful info here



Biscuit said:


> It's really hard to distinguish with words, but i think the relationship between APVD-SA is like depression-SA...they are intertwined and feed off each other but i don't think they are one and the same.


:agree

I reckon I have AvPD, based on the information from DSM-IV, quoted on avoidantpersonality.com.


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## hiimnotcool (Apr 28, 2009)

Yes.


I was actually discharged from the military. Diagnosed by multiple doctors with Avoidant Personality with Cluster C traits. 

Sucks.

I haven't worked in over a year. I apply to jobs, and they call me back and I avoid answering the phone.

If I answer the phone thinking it's someone I may know, then I will talk with them. They'll set up an interview and then I'll spend the entire length of time until the interview worrying and thinking of what I'll do. Most of the time it's thoughts of skipping the interview entirely. I think I'm ****ed.


lol. Oh this is my first post. Hi everyone.


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## Madison_Rose (Feb 27, 2009)

Hello, hiimnotcool, pleased to meet you  What are cluster C traits?


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## hiimnotcool (Apr 28, 2009)

Woops, Avoidant Personality is apart of Cluster C personality. Along with obsessive compulsive personality, and dependent personality.

I meant to say I was diagnosed Avoidant Personality with Depressed Mood.


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## Alone42Long (Apr 23, 2009)

Just wanted to say hi hiimnotcool


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## LALoner (Dec 3, 2008)

hiimnotcool said:


> Yes.
> 
> I was actually discharged from the military. Diagnosed by multiple doctors with Avoidant Personality with Cluster C traits.
> 
> ...


Couldn't the Army just make you a sniper or something?


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## rachelynn (Sep 12, 2008)

I just thought I'd post this paragraph that I just read that I thought was interesting....

Contrary to popular conception, people with social anxiety disorder do not develop agoraphobia. Agoraphobia results from the fear of panic attacks, not from the fear of social interactions. Likewise, people with panic disorder do not develop avoidant personality disorder. _Avoidant personality disorder results from social anxiety as people continue to cut themselves off from most of the world because of the fear of social interactions and other people_, not from the fear and dread of having a panic attack. 
(from http://www.anxietynetwork.com/diff.html)


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## socially inept (Mar 6, 2009)

UltraShy said:


> About once a month this debate of SA vs AVPD comes up and after seeing literally a hundred posts on it I still think they are the same thing.
> 
> They differ only in degree. It's like saying "this water is hot". Well, hot can mean hot enough for a warm bath or hot enough to put you in the ER -- both are hot, but differ in how hot. The same is true of SA. I think AVPD is nothing more than a rarely used term for extreme cases of SA. My official diagnosis is "Severe social phobia with generalized anxiety, DSM 300.23." The fact that the doctor who wrote that gives me 10 mg of Xanax daily and has been doing so for years and deems me too disabled to perform any job that exists and "too unstable to attend or participate in" therapy would seem to suggest that he think I'm a rather extreme case, yet even he doesn't use AVPD to describe me, even though I fit the definition perfectly.
> 
> ...


this post is very good , you are completely right.

avpd is just a more severe case of SA. they are both the same thing. theyre both treated as exactly the same , avpd is just more severe. its like social anxiety on heat


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## socially inept (Mar 6, 2009)

rachelynn said:


> *Mellah*: I avoid nearly everything as much as I can, even to the point where I don't even know why I do it anymore, if that even makes any sense! Atleast your boyfriend's family understands SA...
> 
> *UltraShy*: Interesting thoughts...I've kind of gone crazy before trying to research and compare these two! I wonder how or why anyone ever came up with AVPD! I think a lot of people wonder if they now have "avoidant personality disorder" or if that's what the original problem was to begin with...but of course it's pretty much the same thing, just different names! If there really is a difference, someone should write a book about them both...or make it more clearly defined.


there is a great cognitive behavioural therapy book about all of the personality disorders written by aron t beck. (its a green and black cover). this has a section on avpd but im affraid thats the most info you will get on the subject.

i do have a book about avpd but its useless, it really is. its a very neglected subject and hard to get info on. one thing that differs between sa and avpd is that avoidants have extremely bad procrastination problems cos they have a low threshold for discomfort .

i dont think it matters what you have. it doesnt matter if you have sa or avpd. all that matters is that you figure out what you are affraid of and then you overcome it. its the same for avpd and sa so putting a label on it is irrelivant


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## socially inept (Mar 6, 2009)

BeachGaBulldog said:


> I avoid people as much as I can every single day. There are extremely very few people I talk to. I have been this way for a long time.


i avoid being the centre off attention. i do this to extreme lenghs such as leabing a room when i cough.

some people with sa who dont like being centre of attention will maybe be fine at home or in work but will avoid being centre of attention whilst out in public.

someone with avpd has a more extreme problem and will avoid the centre of attention in every single moment of their life


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## socially inept (Mar 6, 2009)

rachelynn said:


> I just thought I'd post this paragraph that I just read that I thought was interesting....
> 
> Contrary to popular conception, people with social anxiety disorder do not develop agoraphobia. Agoraphobia results from the fear of panic attacks, not from the fear of social interactions. Likewise, people with panic disorder do not develop avoidant personality disorder. _Avoidant personality disorder results from social anxiety as people continue to cut themselves off from most of the world because of the fear of social interactions and other people_, not from the fear and dread of having a panic attack.
> (from http://www.anxietynetwork.com/diff.html)


thats true


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## hiimnotcool (Apr 28, 2009)

LALoner said:


> Couldn't the Army just make you a sniper or something?


Probably not. Everytime we'd go to the range to shoot I would freak out. During basic training I actually hid in the bathroom's to avoid having to do certain things that I didn't want to when I felt uncomfortable/nervous.

It really sucks. I WANT to be able to do these simple things, but I can't. It's like a matter of life and death with the simplest decisions and scenarios. Like I said about the interview, alot of the time I'll just ignore it and resign myself to thinking 'I'd rather be homeless'.

Obviously homelessness is a much worse alternative, but in my mind if I'm left alone and don't have to feel crazy then it's worth it. Then again, I was living in a car for almost a month earlier this year in Southern California, and would use the beach bathrooms to clean up. I always felt uncomfortable then too because it felt like people somehow knew what I was doing.

I dunno, it's really a lose/lose scenario. I signed up for social security benefits, hopefully it works out.


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## Phobiker (Mar 25, 2009)

I read people with AVPD are not only afraid of people watching them, being judged or disgraced, but also to trust somebody and friends must been known for many many years and been proven as friends and stuff.


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## Symon (May 5, 2009)

Generally speaking, anything I "can't" do I DON'T do, so I do avoid a lot of situations and a lot of opportunities in life

Paul


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## alohomora (Apr 5, 2009)

YES.

The best solution to my problem is: If I fear it, approach it. 

1. Approach
2. Humiliate myself
3. Learn from my mistakes
4. Try again with the new knowledge I acquired
5. Repeat 2 through 4 until I become comfortable and confident with my skills

I learned that humiliation is not really that bad and is in fact necessary. People usually forgive and forget my mistakes as long as I'm well-intended. They're not really concerned about me anyway. They're concerned about themselves. Pay attention to how other people humiliate themselves too. You think you're the only one but you're not. Just see everything as a learning experience.


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## LALoner (Dec 3, 2008)

hiimnotcool said:


> Probably not. Everytime we'd go to the range to shoot I would freak out. During basic training I actually hid in the bathroom's to avoid having to do certain things that I didn't want to when I felt uncomfortable/nervous.
> 
> It really sucks. I WANT to be able to do these simple things, but I can't. It's like a matter of life and death with the simplest decisions and scenarios. Like I said about the interview, alot of the time I'll just ignore it and resign myself to thinking 'I'd rather be homeless'.
> 
> ...


See, you get a membership at Bally Fitness for a cheap rate and then you always have a place to shower and ****. That's my backup plan.


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## LALoner (Dec 3, 2008)

UltraShy said:


> About once a month this debate of SA vs AVPD comes up and after seeing literally a hundred posts on it I still think they are the same thing.
> 
> They differ only in degree. It's like saying "this water is hot". Well, hot can mean hot enough for a warm bath or hot enough to put you in the ER -- both are hot, but differ in how hot. The same is true of SA. I think AVPD is nothing more than a rarely used term for extreme cases of SA. My official diagnosis is "Severe social phobia with generalized anxiety, DSM 300.23." The fact that the doctor who wrote that gives me 10 mg of Xanax daily and has been doing so for years and deems me too disabled to perform any job that exists and "too unstable to attend or participate in" therapy would seem to suggest that he think I'm a rather extreme case, yet even he doesn't use AVPD to describe me, even though I fit the definition perfectly.
> 
> ...


I'm going to have to agree with this. In the beginning I was _convinced_ there was a difference between SA and avpd, but now I just think avpd is a more extreme form.

If your new to this and disagree I don't care about your opinion. If you have been at this for a while and have an explanation as to why these are different I will hear you out.


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## joe111 (Apr 25, 2009)

yeah i agree SA and avpd are linked just that avpd is a extreme case of SA. I had it for years but im starting to be more out going and not avoid people, but i still have my moments when i dont want anyone to see me or hear me.


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## UKPhobe (Oct 22, 2008)

The main difference between SA and AvPD is that AvPD sufferers overly focus on other peoples reactions as well as their own, SA sufferers are less inclined to do that. 

There's little point in labelling yourself either way since they get dealt with the same way and basically they are the same thing.


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## radudeATL (Oct 25, 2005)

*Bumpitty bump bump*

I haven't posted here in quite a while...here goes...

I'm not too interested in trying to make a distinction between SA and AvPD. However, I have become painfully aware of my own AvPD. I avoid leaving my house whenever possible (an easy task considering I don't have a job). I do not answer the telephone unless it's one of my siblings or one of 2 friends (I used to have more friends, but I stopped returning calls and emails) - a ringing phone causes my heart to race! I have a job interview on Thursday, and I am obsessed with coming up with an excuse NOT to go. In my mind, I'm playing through every doom and gloom scenario - I'll either give all the wrong answers or non-answers, I won't perform well (it's a piano teacher and accompanist job at a college), they won't like me, etc. I am a perfectionist, but far from perfect! I could almost cry just thinking about it. I'm certainly more tense these days...

I looked up the symptoms of AvPD on Wikipedia (my bible...) and each one seems to fit me to a tee (except the substance abuse issue). The symptoms:

-Hypersensitivity to criticism or rejection
-Self-imposed social isolation
-Extreme shyness in social situations, though feels a strong desire for close relationships
-Avoids physical contact because it has been associated with an unpleasant or painful stimulus
-Avoids interpersonal relationships
-Feelings of inadequacy
-Severe low self-esteem
-Self loathing
-Mistrust of others
-Extreme shyness/timidity
-Emotional distancing related to intimacy
-Highly self-conscious
-Self-critical about their problems relating to others
-Loss of self-identity
-Problems in occupational functioning
-Lonely self-perception
-Feeling inferior to others
-Chronic substance abuse/dependence

One of the first things I intend to do when I become gainfully employed is get professional help. I feel like I'm doing 25 mph in the HOV lane...


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## molaurie (Jan 27, 2009)

A lot of good info. on this thread! Personally, I hate labels. Especially pertaining to so-called "personality disorders". I have gone through phases where I have forced, willed, or cajoled(is this a word??) myself to "just do it" and go to job interview, jobs, social activities, dates, etc., all the while being very stressed out. In attempts to "overcome" my shyness. Lately, however, as I move toward self-acceptance(and am receiving unemployment insurance), I fall into this "AVP" category, I'm sure...completely avoiding social activities, as they are just too ****ing stressful!!!


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## My911GT2993 (May 14, 2009)

I think SAD and AvPD are closley 'related' . Although it's hard to imagine, i think AvPD is an even more severe disorder than Social Anxiety, as the person suffering this could of has Social Anxiety for 10 - 20 years and may have turned into a total recluse. Now opting for no relationship atall due to his/her anxiety this person has decreased his/her self image further. One possible difference is that with AvPD they have 'given up' on wanting to have a real social life, and has started to accept their life as it is, with their feelings, and followed "Avoidance Behaviour" to such an extent, that there s not much left. Get better people, try CBT!
Sufferers of AvPD will have a concrete beleif that they won't fit into sociaty and that they are inferior where as people with SA usually know they can do better and are frustrated and depressed by it. ?? Comprende`??


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## pinkgurl87 (May 29, 2009)

I haven't been dignosised with Avodiant personality disorder though it came up on personality test. I do avoid people, like today a friend wanted me to come visit and I didn't want to go. I can be around some people but I feel anxious. I guess I'm not that avodiant because when I was in IP ( inpatient) I was talking to people and stuff so maybe I don't , but at home I don't do very much at all with people. Idk.


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## xiaoecho (May 11, 2009)

hiimnotcool said:


> Yes.
> 
> I was actually discharged from the military. Diagnosed by multiple doctors with Avoidant Personality with Cluster C traits.
> 
> ...


i've been diagnosed Avoidant too......but what the hell are cluster c traits?? I'm almosts too scared to ask -----not only that what about clusters A and B? Never heard of these clusters.....what are they?


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## Biscuit (Mar 20, 2009)

I hate being avoidant. I can't relly separate SA and avoidance very well...usually the avoidance feels more like a lack of focus or a feeling of being outside of the situation rather than a "must-get-the-****-out-of-here-i-am-going-to-die" feeling of SA. I do stupid things, though, like wasting 6 hours online because i can't bring mysef to start working on homework.


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## AshenSpirit (Jun 1, 2009)

I think I'm probably more avoidant than anxious.

I can fight through the anxiety, but avoiding things often feels apathetic.

Maybe I'm masking my anxiety with avoidance?

It's hard to say.

I just keep telling myself that I need more time to work on things and focus on something else.

I really don't want to accept that I cannot improve myself or that I'm not making significant progress. 

I probably have some OCD somewhere in there too that is helping feed this cycle.


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## ChrissyQ (Apr 15, 2009)

I have Avoidant Personality Disorder.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Honestly I think _Avoidant Personality Disorder_ is more of a possible symptom of SA than something that is one & the same. That is you avoid people to avoid the discomfort of social anxiety itself. I'll also note that this same term(Avoidant Personality Disorder) could likely be applied to introverts who simple want to keep to themselves and as such avoid people outside of necessary interaction. I've not been diagnosed with it but I do avoid people and it's a combination of both things I've mentioned


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