# My mom is being a big meanie !



## mybelovedaldra (Mar 26, 2013)

It all happened yesterday I'm starting a new job as a deli clerk , so she gets mad at me for making a mistake so she says'' I bet when you do your job your gonna mess up and you'll be walking home '' and then she starts laughing 
I nicely ask her mom please don't do that if you do it will freak me out and when i go to my job I'll think that will happen and be worried she yells at me and tells me i can't take advice and i don't like to listen to people . My mom does this every time I either get a new interview or if i'm going to a new job . The reason she does this is because I had a job way a few years ago where i got fired because i was always nervous in front of people and since then she brings it up . I don't like her doing this because i want to be relax before i start my job i don't want to be in panic mode .


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## Weilian (Mar 28, 2013)

Tell her that she's one of the reasons that you're stressful now and ask if she can stay away from the constant and meaningless criticism.


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

move out


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## Frostbite (May 14, 2013)

Weilian said:


> Tell her that she's one of the reasons that you're stressful now and ask if she can stay away from the constant and meaningless criticism.


Yep you gotta shame your meanie mom. :teeth Let her know all your problems are he fault

like this except without the drugs


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## mybelovedaldra (Mar 26, 2013)

monotonous said:


> move out


 My new job doesn't pay enough it cost 1200 to rent an apartment in my state for one person now it's 1400 month .


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## Shadowboy (Jun 12, 2013)

My parents criticize me harshly too. When they start it I try to keep my confidence high by telling them they don't know me well and are unaware of my capabilities. There were instances that I proved they thought wrong about me.

First, ask your mom if she really wants you to be successful in your life. Tell her she's doing the opposite by stating "I bet you will fail in this...fail in that...". Then, *If your mom brings up your old job tell her all humans face failure before they can get independent. Has your mom never failed in anything in her life? If she says you don't take advice tell her taking advice and accepting baseless criticism are two different things. If she says you don't like to listen, tell her if it was true you wouldn't be discussing it with her in first place. Hopefully your mom will understand you. ^^


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## mybelovedaldra (Mar 26, 2013)

Shadowboy said:


> My parents criticize me harshly too. When they start it I try to keep my confidence high by telling them they don't know me well and are unaware of my capabilities. There were instances that I proved they thought wrong about me.
> 
> First, ask your mom if she really wants you to be successful in your life. Tell her she's doing the opposite by stating "I bet you will fail in this...fail in that...". Then, *If your mom brings up your old job tell her all humans face failure before they can get independent. Has your mom never failed in anything in her life? If she says you don't take advice tell her taking advice and accepting baseless criticism are two different things. If she says you don't like to listen, tell her if it was true you wouldn't be discussing it with her in first place. Hopefully your mom will understand you. ^^


Well according to my mom she says she's never been fired from any job in her life or failed anything .


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## SameoldTammie (Jun 22, 2013)

*Hello*

I know the feeling. I know the feeling of people saying the know the feeling. My mother was very verbally abusive towards me. She would tell me I would never be anything. She would call me a *****. She loved to call me an my sister and brother stupid. You know sometimes u just want to feel like u have a mom. A mom like every other friends mom that's warm and inviting. You wonder how did your friends get so lucky to have a nice mom who loves them when they are way... More rude then u ever were to your mom. 
Truthfully I did a lot of comparing all my life. And it always ended up bad for me. I would try to change my mom. Yell at my mom. Talk to my mom. Nothing really did the trick until I moved away from my mom. 
I look back now and joke with my fiancé how my mom never really was meant to be a mom at all cause she never wanted kids according to her she told us we were all mistakes. But sometimes it is not a joke. Something which we wish are mothers or fathers would take more seriously so they would know how damaging it is how they treat us. 
I know that saying wait till u move away from her then things will get better isn't going to make it better. Excepting her the way she is isn't going to either.


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## SameoldTammie (Jun 22, 2013)

*Hello*

Going to a psychologist sometimes makes it worse cause they can not possibly understand how deep your emotions run. Keep at it though. Try telling people how things make u feel. Perhaps they will never really figure it out. 
But there will be people out there that will understand you.
I would try to get away from your mom she is going to be toxic. I wouldn't stop talking to her though. I would just stop relying on here to be a normal mom. In reality she probably had a bad past. She probably was hurt. Or she was probably born with a chemical imbalance. Try to except that she is weird but spend time outside of home if possible. You don't want her weirdness taking over your life.


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## mybelovedaldra (Mar 26, 2013)

SameoldTammie said:


> I know the feeling. I know the feeling of people saying the know the feeling. My mother was very verbally abusive towards me. She would tell me I would never be anything. She would call me a *****. She loved to call me an my sister and brother stupid. You know sometimes u just want to feel like u have a mom. A mom like every other friends mom that's warm and inviting. You wonder how did your friends get so lucky to have a nice mom who loves them when they are way... More rude then u ever were to your mom.
> Truthfully I did a lot of comparing all my life. And it always ended up bad for me. I would try to change my mom. Yell at my mom. Talk to my mom. Nothing really did the trick until I moved away from my mom.
> I look back now and joke with my fiancé how my mom never really was meant to be a mom at all cause she never wanted kids according to her she told us we were all mistakes. But sometimes it is not a joke. Something which we wish are mothers or fathers would take more seriously so they would know how damaging it is how they treat us.
> I know that saying wait till u move away from her then things will get better isn't going to make it better. Excepting her the way she is isn't going to either.


My mom is just like your mom calls me stupid makes me feel like s**t all the time she once told me herself that she didn't want kids and only had me because my dad wanted a baby . Every time i try to feel better about myself she brings me back to zero . My mom always says i never smile or look happy when i'm with her but When i'm with my friends they always tell me how happy I look and how pretty my smile is . One day i got so mad at my mom and told her she's the reason i never smelled and why myself esteem is so low and while i was telling her how I felt and begging her to treat me better she ignored me and just turned the music up on the radio and if we're watching tv she turns the volume up on the television . I find it funny when we're watching tv shows like dr phil and they show mothers like her she says i can't believe some one can treat their kids so poorly and that she would never do that and I'm sitting there thinking have you seen yourself . She is so horrible she would make a monster have low self esteem because of her I don't want to have kids because i'm scared i'll be like that and come home and see my kid dead because of my abuse


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## Shadowboy (Jun 12, 2013)

mybelovedaldra said:


> Well according to my mom she says she's never been fired from any job in her life or failed anything .


Wow! Sorry, but then according to her she has done something that Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Walt Disney, Stephen King, Vincent van Gogh, Henry Ford, Steve Jobs and Bill Gates hasn't been able to do! If she doesn't know what failures they have faced (sometimes their failure has caused their breakthrough) she can check them on the net.


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## asc (Nov 8, 2011)

Wow I can relate to this in a way.
I remember my mother used to tell me "you'll never get your license" when I was just learning to drive. Also, driving with her when she said this. 
She seemed almost mad when things were going good for me and would have something discouraging to say.
She was unhappy when I was happy because she was very insecure with herself. My mother was very unstable mentally anyway.
Op, how old are you?
If you're very young I would tell you keep trying no matter what your mother or any other person says. Keep doing all you can to make yourself better. When you are able to get away from you mother, and that day will come someday, you'll be better off knowing you looked out for you and took care of yourself. I know I am. Sometimes I wish I had a caring mother, and was "lucky" like another poster mentioned about having a good relationship with my mother. But, hey, what's done is done. I wont obsess about the relationship I didn't have. I know that lack of relationship doesn't make me. I'm doing what I can to make myself a better person and that is what matters.


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## mybelovedaldra (Mar 26, 2013)

asc said:


> Wow I can relate to this in a way.
> I remember my mother used to tell me "you'll never get your license" when I was just learning to drive. Also, driving with her when she said this.
> She seemed almost mad when things were going good for me and would have something discouraging to say.
> She was unhappy when I was happy because she was very insecure with herself. My mother was very unstable mentally anyway.
> ...


I'm 25 years old :um when things go good for me my mom becomes unhappy too I notice it when i have job interviews she starts a fight with me on the day of my interview and tries to make me late .


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## asc (Nov 8, 2011)

mybelovedaldra said:


> I'm 25 years old :um when things go good for me my mom becomes unhappy too I notice it when i have job interviews she starts a fight with me on the day of my interview and tries to make me late .


Ugh. I know that's prob enough to add to your anxiety if you had any before the interview:|
I'm curious, where are you living that it's so expensive for you to get your own place?


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## mybelovedaldra (Mar 26, 2013)

asc said:


> Ugh. I know that's prob enough to add to your anxiety if you had any before the interview:|
> I'm curious, where are you living that it's so expensive for you to get your own place?


 connecticut


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## evelyngilbert (May 27, 2013)

You should talk to your mom before this becomes very severe for your job and for you as well.


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## mybelovedaldra (Mar 26, 2013)

evelyngilbert said:


> You should talk to your mom before this becomes very severe for your job and for you as well.


I tried but she doesn't listen she just tunes me out


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