# Men, what do you think of being hit on?



## goosebump (Jan 12, 2014)

I think the whole "men like to chase" is a stereotype. Sure, it applies to certain populations but not to all men for sure. For example, my bf finds it really hot when a girl hits on him, even if she's not that attractive. So guys, would you like to be hit on?


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

I don't mind. I did get hit a lot during middle school.


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

Depends, really. I've had my fair share of old women hitting on me when working retail, so I could go my whole life without that. It is flattering but I'm bad at flirting back or turning someone down if I'm not interested. I just come off as a bit of a ****.


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## goosebump (Jan 12, 2014)

Rixy said:


> Depends, really. I've had my fair share of old women hitting on me when working retail, so I could go my whole life without that. It is flattering but I'm bad at flirting back or turning someone down if I'm not interested. I just come off as a bit of a ****.


Lol, you're not alone. I'm super awkward at turning down people I don't like. I just withdrew very sudden without saying anything. I usually feel bad afterward but I don't know how to handle it better


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

(For reference, I've never been in a relationship, out of disinterest until recently.)

First I'd be weirded out and uncomfortable, then I'd wonder whether this was a prank, a con, a way to blackmail me later, or a psycho trying to take advantage of an obvious chump. 

But suppose I felt it was on the level. I'd feel flattered and grateful that I did not have to get out of my comfort zone to introduce myself. I certainly wouldn't turn her down based on appearances. Actually, I think I'd feel more secure and comfortable with someone not very conventionally attractive. 

Realistically though, I think I'd look like a deer caught in headlights, regardless of who was hitting on me. It's like I know I'm about to be hurt, but all I can do is stare. It's such an unlikely scenario, I just can't picture it being sincere.


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## spititout (Sep 7, 2014)

goosebump said:


> I think the whole "men like to chase" is a stereotype. Sure, it applies to certain populations but not to all men for sure.


yeh you got that right. and guess who came up with it? women - to benefit women...

guys love getting hit on just as much as women do.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Most guys I know hate being hit on. They see it as too forward and masculine if a woman does it. I'm also from a traditional, conservative area.


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

Only once, and I was too shy to bite the hook.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Hadron92 said:


> I really want to reply truthfully. But people (especially on SAS) would rather listen to white lies.


Not me. It's refreshing to see people who tell it like it is. Tell us!


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

I'd like it if women did try to be actively seeking guys, instead of just sitting there. I mean for ****s sake, a woman is far more picky, so just pass the damn responsibility to them.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Hadron92 said:


> Fine.
> 
> If she is hot, I take it as a compliment. If she isn't, I take it as an insult.
> 
> I don't know about all straight guys, but all the ones I've known have been the same.


Exactly. This is what I've noticed too, and every guy I've known has been like this.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Dissonance said:


> I mean for ****s sake, a woman is far more picky


False. So completely false.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

tbyrfan said:


> False. So completely false.


No, I think he's right (overall.) The only thing guys tend to be fussier about as a gender is appearance.



Hadron92 said:


> And by unattractive I don't mean average. If she was even somewhat attractive, I'd still take it as a compliment. I'd only feel insulted if I thought she was way, way below my league.. Because I'd feel bad that she thought she had any chance with me. Not because I'd hate her. But it'd make me insecure about myself.


Do you think people only hit on people if they think they're going to be successful? (because that's not true, some people are just gutsy or something)


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Persephone The Dread said:


> No, I think he's right (overall.) The only thing guys tend to be fussier about as a gender is appearance.


I agree. I was only talking about appearance.


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## villadb (Dec 30, 2012)

I have to say I find it hard to distinguish between someone being nice and actually being hit on. I'd not be against it, I just wish I could identify it (if it happens at all).


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Hadron92 said:


> And by unattractive I don't mean average. If she was even somewhat attractive, I'd still take it as a compliment. I'd only feel insulted if I thought she was way, way below my league.. Because I'd feel bad that she thought she had any chance with me. Not because I'd hate her. But it'd make me insecure about myself.


It's a lot different where I'm from. Guys here are insulted when even an average woman approaches. They don't feel bad for them, but instead humiliate them for thinking they had a chance (usually in front of their friends). I think a lot of it has to do with peer pressure. Guys here gtet picked on for associating with unattractive women, so they don't want to look bad in front of their friends.


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## SouthernTom (Jul 19, 2014)

I'm completely cool with girls hitting on me. That way I know they're not just being polite and letting me down gently, which I often feel if I ever summon up the courage to make the first move.

If I am not attracted to the girl hitting on me I would still be flattered, but if she made any suggestion or move to take things further, I would just tell her I had a girlfriend or something. It may be a lie, but I think it's more considerate to her feelings than saying 'sorry, but you're just not my type', as that's basically a polite way of saying 'you're ugly'.


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## Hikikomori2014 (Sep 8, 2014)

Being hit on is HOT.



goosebump said:


> I think the whole "men like to chase" is a stereotype. Sure, it applies to certain populations but not to all men for sure. For example, my bf finds it really hot when a girl hits on him, even if she's not that attractive. So guys, would you like to be hit on?


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Hadron92 said:


> Fine.
> 
> If she is hot, I take it as a compliment. If she isn't, I take it as an insult.
> 
> I don't know about all straight guys, but all the ones I've known have been the same.


Insult? It's attention and it's not harmful if you are both single.

For me, I just need a hint and then I would I would ask the questions :lol.


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## anomnomnom (May 28, 2013)

It's happened to me once and I didn't even notice till someone else told me, Unfortunately I didn't find her remotely attractive and a friend basically had to spread various "lies" around to make her thing I was unavailable as apparently I'm too useless to do it myself. 

I don't think she was particularly bothered, it sounds like she did it to every new guy who started at that place, I was just next on the list.

It's never happened more than that time though, I mean I've had 1-2 relationships and the girls initiated it (otherwise it'd never have happened) but not so much "being hit on" just they were kinda more forward than me.

I would quite like it however, It'd make a refreshing change to feel remotely desirable to members of the opposite sex. I wouldn't know how to handle it though, I'm bloody useless.


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## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

I don't like it, but that's because of my SA - it makes me very uncomfortable to have a girl IRL expressing interest in me.


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## Jade18 (Mar 6, 2011)

Hadron92 said:


> Fine.
> 
> If she is hot, I take it as a compliment. If she isn't, I take it as an insult.
> 
> I don't know about all straight guys, but all the ones I've known have been the same.


This im female though but i xo feel offended when old or ugly guys hit on me.


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## Marko3 (Mar 18, 2014)

tbyrfan said:


> Most guys I know hate being hit on. They see it as too forward and masculine if a woman does it. I'm also from a traditional, conservative area.


True that.. I was being hit on by girl I later got crush on.. and yes from beginning it felt awkward, because I wasn't used to it.. I did think of her to be an easy girl that is too desperate...

But lately I see nothing wrong.. if girl starts the approach.. I like it


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

I'm not sure why people think men feel any differently about it than women. I've felt flattered every time it happens, regardless of what they look like. That's because I'm unattractive. I'm sure if you're attractive your opinion is different, just as it is if you're an attractive woman.

Different women feel flattered or insulted depending on their personality. Same for men. _That's_ the truth that certain people seem to have a hard time accepting here. There is no difference between the genders in this regard. The only difference is who is more likely to do the approaching. It all comes down to individual preferences.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

TIL I shouldn't hit on half the people on this forum.


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## Wagnerian (Aug 5, 2014)

I've **never** hit on anyone in my entire life, even before I was a hikikomori....I just could never bring myself to do it; it's outside the bounds of my character.

But I usually feel good when it happens to me, often I end up talking to the initiating party, sometimes growing to like them and becoming friends.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

goosebump said:


> I think the whole "men like to chase" is a stereotype.


I've always been puzzled by that stereotype, because it's not something I've ever encountered where I am.

I found it flattering when girls/women have been interested in me. I won't lie, it is nice for the ego. I'm insecure most of the time, and the few times people have been interested in me it has made me feel better about myself.

In some cases, approaches have made me anxious, but that's my own anxiety problem, and it didn't mean the approach wasn't appreciated.

I admire anyone who approaches, because I know it takes courage.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

TheWelshOne said:


> TIL I shouldn't hit on half the people on this forum.


Now you just need to figure out which half.


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## HopelessFriend (Aug 7, 2013)

I don't know what I would do if I was hit on. I would probably try to think nothing of it.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

truant said:


> Now you just need to figure out which half.


Or just hit on everyone and pretend I'm a supermodel


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

I'm usually flattered by it even if I'm not really attracted to her. As others have said it is an ego boost- especially for someone that might not be as self confident as others. It does feel good to get noticed by the opposite sex.

But girls are usually a lot more subtle when it comes to "hitting on" a guy. I don't get hit on by girls very often at all but at work I've had a girl pretend to misplace the clothes she was going to buy on a rack and ask me if I could help her find them. While we were looking for them she took that as an opportunity to strike up a conversation but she knew exactly where those clothes were though because she steered us right to them.


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## Neo1234 (Mar 6, 2012)

I love it


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## Putin (May 21, 2013)

It'd be nice. Even if I didn't find the girl attractive,feel it would still feel good to know I'm desired by _someone_


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## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

It does brighten up my week knowing there's a female willing to mate.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

TheWelshOne said:


> Or just hit on everyone and pretend I'm a supermodel


Are you implying that some of the people I'm chatting to _aren't_ supermodels? :eek


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

I welcome it with open arms and honestly it's the only way I get involved with woman since I'm too anxious and lacking in confidence to flirt and approach, myself. If I find her unattractive I'll just not be reciprocating in my response but I definitely still take it as a compliment, it's nice to know someone finds me attractive.


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

I'll let you know if it ever happens. :blank


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

from a stranger? if it was out of the blue i'd feel a bit uncomfortable, because they just hit on me for superficial reasons i guess, or they just want sex. i'd just be thinking who is this person, what do they want?

if they talk to me and just seem like they want to get to know me, that would be great.


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## GotAnxiety (Oct 14, 2011)

I need like 3 days notice in advance to what you say, So I could accurately respond back, Tactfully 

Like last time, No muscle shirts are allowed on the job site its a safety hazard, Oh I didn't bring my muscle shirts today, I was just gonna work shirtless,

Then the other time when the girl was bending over right in front of me, Well I'm on the exercise bike, Umm? Was that even the right area to that in? Sign... She wanted to **** obiviously,

What do you say to that? Nice ***? You wanna ****?


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

its just a rare things for guys like me, and most guys i'd assume, blatantly at least

i remember one time this girl was next to me in class and she dropped her pen beside me in the middle of a presentation, i knew this girl and her facebook was in a relationship, so when i went it pick it up for her i thought i was doing an innocent deed

but then this girl has the audacity to go and bang her head into mine trying to pick it up too, obviously a preemptive strike before engaging in a battle for the d, this girl was so begging for it with the tone in her "sorry" 

i swear man these hoes aint loyal, truly disguising the kind thing these b-rods will try and pull in broad daylight, makes me sick to my stomach knowing shes going back to her man kissing and hugging him thinking everything is fine when shes out pulling stunts like that

absolutely sickening


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

startles me, scares me, makes me nervous, makes me uncomfortable. even if the girls a hot babe and does the work and asked me out.


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

Yes, I love the attention. Although sometimes it takes me by surprise so much that I'm stunned and don't respond well. Getting better at that.


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## Dane (Jul 27, 2009)

Generally, I love it.

It's only unpleasant when a woman you're not into persists in chasing you despite your lack of interest.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Love it, but unlike most guys in this thread, it's only happened to me like twice in my life. It's flattering and makes me happy whether or not I'm attracted to the woman. She can be 80 years old, smelly, and overweight for all I care, but it would still brighten my day.


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## xxGODDESSxx (Sep 15, 2014)

I *will* hit on guy if I like them or want to let them know I'm interested.. :b


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## Umpalumpa (Jan 26, 2014)

Honestly? Depends on how agressive it is (her overdoing it) and how she looks.
Getting hit on too obviously can be really annoying sometimes.


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## xxGODDESSxx (Sep 15, 2014)

Umpalumpa said:


> Honestly? Depends on how agressive it is (her overdoing it) and how she looks.
> Getting hit on too obviously can be really annoying sometimes.


I don't think you have much to worry about; I'm sure you don't get hit on too often anyway. Hahah.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Are you Cali's twin sister?


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## gamingpup (Jul 10, 2013)

Love it.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Elad said:


> its just a rare things for guys like me, and most guys i'd assume, blatantly at least
> 
> i remember one time this girl was next to me in class and she dropped her pen beside me in the middle of a presentation, i knew this girl and her facebook was in a relationship, so when i went it pick it up for her i thought i was doing an innocent deed
> 
> ...


Lol...you and @orsomething :lol


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## Umpalumpa (Jan 26, 2014)

xxGODDESSxx said:


> I don't think you have much to worry about; I'm sure you don't get hit on too often anyway. Hahah.


What made you think that?


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## will22 (Mar 28, 2011)

goosebump said:


> So guys, would you like to be hit on [by women]?


You're asking a bunch of socially anxious guys. So you're going to get the predictable socially anxious guy response. 
Answer: yes, yes, yes :yes
The one type of flirting I can think off the top of my head as not liking is the teasing kind, other than that yes.
And this is talking about being hit on by women in general, not the women here on SAS, because everyone here is socially anxious.

Anyway, the more direct the better. Can't emphasize that enough.


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

Darktower776 said:


> But girls are usually a lot more subtle when it comes to "hitting on" a guy. I don't get hit on by girls very often at all but at work I've had a girl pretend to misplace the clothes she was going to buy on a rack and ask me if I could help her find them. While we were looking for them she took that as an opportunity to strike up a conversation but she knew exactly where those clothes were though because she steered us right to them.


I don't think that's necessarily true, or somethings in the water were I'm from. When my family came down for my sisters wedding, the parking lot booth attendant at the airport we were picking them up from looked at me through the window of the drivers side(I was in the passangers), and said "who's that handsome gentleman? " and then walked out of the booth over to my side of the car, and tapped on my window. Then she said a pick up line about me shooting an arrow right through her heart, can't remember exactly what she said, and then asked for my number, all in front of my cousin whom I never met before, my aunt, and my parents...I also had two girls straight out ask me to be thier boyfriends in front of a group of other people at college. And I'm obviously not a super attractive guy because I've never had a relationship... I think I'm average on a good day and personality wise I'm kind of bland so that rules that out. The only subtle experience I've had was when a girl "dropped" her phone in the middle of a pasture at the ranch I board at, and also needed my "help" finding it and she was much quieter and laid back than the other girls Based on that I would say how your hit on is much more dependant on the personality of the person approaching, than their gender. More evidence would be how differently a shy guy approaches a girl than an outgoing guy.

Sorry if this is hard to read, I typed it on my phone with out any commas the first time. Then I realized it was borderline unreadable and tried to come back and add the commas in.... Needless to say, I got tired of fussing with my phones ttouch screen and I was like "**** it"


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

TobeyJuarez said:


> I don't think that's necessarily true, or somethings in the water were I'm from. When my family came down for my sisters wedding, the parking lot booth attendant at the airport we were picking them up from looked at me through the window of the drivers side(I was in the passangers), and said "who's that handsome gentleman? " and then walked out of the booth over to my side of the car, and tapped on my window. Then she said a pick up line about me shooting an arrow right through her heart, can't remember exactly what she said, and then asked for my number, all in front of my cousin whom I never met before, my aunt, and my parents...I also had two girls straight out ask me to be thier boyfriends in front of a group of other people at college. And I'm obviously not a super attractive guy because I've never had a relationship... I think I'm average on a good day and personality wise I'm kind of bland so that rules that out. The only subtle experience I've had was when a girl "dropped" her phone in the middle of a pasture at the ranch I board at, and also needed my "help" finding it and she was much quieter and laid back than the other girls Based on that I would say how your hit on is much more dependant on the personality of the person approaching, than their gender. More evidence would be how differently a shy guy approaches a girl than an outgoing guy.
> 
> Sorry if this is hard to read, I typed it on my phone with out any commas the first time. Then I realized it was borderline unreadable and tried to come back and add the commas in.... Needless to say, I got tired of fussing with my phones ttouch screen and I was like "**** it"


Well I usually try to avoid talking in absolutes because someone else's experiences can always be different than mine. I'll just say in my life experiences, girls are usually pretty subtle about it and not very direct. However I understand that is not always the case everywhere and to everyone.


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