# Have you had selective mutism?



## ccccc5225 (Apr 12, 2006)

I do. I have never said a word for 6 years in my elementary school time before.


----------



## TheContrary (May 2, 2006)

i didn't speak to anyone at kindergarten..during highschool i couldn't talk to anyone outseide my firmly established group of friends


----------



## myshell (Apr 17, 2006)

We are pretty sure I did as a child, I had chosen people I'd talk with others and situations never spoke. I had ear testing at school as they weren't sure I could hear properly however I could hear better than they knew, I could hear peoples thoughts. I remember hearing one of them think "Maybe we should get her to see a visiting school psychologist?" I shut up more and more as time went on, the world is pretty scary when people don't say what they are thinking. I know I'm at risk of some of you thinking I'm a total loony, but I have always had some kind of telepathic ability and there is too much proof for it all my life to be just my imagination and I think a lot of my fear and SA from as far back as remember is because of this. We say we have irrational thoughts and this leads to our increase in anxiety but when you can feel and hear what is hidden in other people it seems quite rational. So I've had to come to terms that people do have judgements, thoughts they always will do, whether I know them all not and I just have to be the best person I can in this world. And being mute is although safe, not how it's supposed to be if it means you live life in avoidance.


----------



## perfectlycalm (Nov 15, 2005)

I had it when I was younger, I didn't talk hardly at all. Sometimes I answered people "yes" and "no", but other than that I was silent. Rarely did I say anything else unless I was forced to and suffered the severe anxiety. I remained like that all through school since I started to when I finished high school.


----------



## SarahDawn1987 (May 26, 2006)

In elementary school, specifically kindergarten, I remember that whenever the teacher would ask a question and kids would raise their hands I'd slouch down so she "couldn't see me." I don't really remember talking that much in school. Just maybe to one person. But with my family I was loud and obnoxious. I also used to pretend I was sick (or maybe I wasn't pretending) after a lot of lunches so I could go to the nurse and go home.


----------



## IntrovertGirl (Apr 17, 2006)

.


----------



## ghostgurl (Sep 20, 2004)

I probably did and still do. I don't say anything unless someone talks to me first. I'm that way with people I don't know.


----------



## NÃ¶liena (Oct 1, 2005)

I have definitely had it, and still struggle with it from time to time. There are certain people that it never or almost never happens with, but otherwise it doesn't matter what the situation is I don't think. I just can't speak, like there's cement in my throat all of a sudden.


----------



## Nyx (Nov 17, 2003)

I had to see the school psychologist in elementary school because I apparently didn't talk. I don't talk much nowadays either.


----------



## MitzieVR (Feb 23, 2011)

*I had it*

I had Selective Mutism and I say I had because today I'm able to talk to people; still I'm quite and people say I am shy. I had SM before preschool. In primary and elementary school no teacher heard my voice. I didn't participate in class or gym class. People would ask: Cat got your tounge? In junior high I still had trouble talking specially to teacher (it was more difficult to me to communicate with authority people than kids my own age). I gave few oral reports when I was 13 and 14 but not all of them. When I was in high school I talked more but only the necesary like if I have to ask something about school work or give a presentation but never had a spontaneous conversation with a teacher. I just couldn't do it. I would only talk with them about school related subjects, nothing personal, and it was a short one. But I talked more in high school because I was in a new school and teacher didn't know me and didn't know that I had selective mutism. I heard the term selective mutism for the first time when I seek help for my depression and that was when I was 19 years old. I wish I could explain my story in more detail but its giving me a hard time writing in English. My native language is Spanish. Also I can't find the right words.

I am pround of myself. I have managed to get rid of some beliefs and conquer some of my fears. I don't know how I did it but I think it was because it mattered to me what my mother would think or say. I wasn't diagnosed by a mental health professional because neither of them knew what was selective mutism and thought that I was only shy or that I didn't want to talk.

It wasn't only speaking the problem, but also being the center of attention. So I think that I had Selective Mutism and social phobia both at the same time. I could not shake my head yes or no or use non verbal language to communicate my needs or to participate in class :|.

Well I don't know what else to say.


----------



## room101 (Nov 5, 2010)

I had this to some degree when I was younger, through it was never officially diagnosed. When I was 6 my mom took me and my sisters on a month long vacation to her native country, and while I was there I spoke mainly in my second language although English is my first and I don't even speak the other language that well. Anyway, after coming back to Canada I stopped talking at school, but at home I would be my usual chatty self. My parents were really confused when my grade one teacher called home to tell them about the situation and suggested that I be placed in ESL. So that whole stint was for about a month, I don't really have much memory of it though, just that one day I somehow switched to my old self and surprised everyone. Then around the age of 15-16 this happened again, but at home this time. I think mainly because I get frustrated so easily with my family and they are not the easiest to be around either. I went without saying a word to anyone for 3 months straight, not because I didn't want to but because I physically couldn't bring myself to make a sound even with words at the tip of my tongue. That second time the mutism reoccurred had to be the most mentally exhausting period. Just thinking about it now makes me feel very deflated because I still get into that phase all the time, however brief it may be - a day or two where I can't speak at all, and I'm scared it could get that bad again.


----------



## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

No, in school I was the master of the one-word reply.

My teachers & parents totally failed to identify any anxiety disorder even when a very severe one sat right in front of them.

Had it been stepped up a notch such as to replace one-word replies with total silence, perhaps that would have helped these totally oblivious folks identify my problem so that my SA could be treated.

After all, it's pretty hard to ignore something as exceedingly unusual as total silence.


----------



## iuseings (Nov 11, 2009)

I definitely had selective mutism retrospectively but at the time I was just bitter and resentful of everyone that I made it my excuse not to talk (not realizing that I was doing it out of fear). It was only in school but no where else... unless it was a social situation I felt_ forced_ to be involved in. I was pretty good at alienating people. 
So freaking sad...


----------



## changeforthebetter (Feb 15, 2011)

maybe a little i dont know, it doesn't really sound like me, i think mostly what i had was just down to social anxiety and lack of confidence. I was worried i would say the wrong thing, if i had something i knew for certain that was good to say and i knew everybody would laugh or whatever i dont think actually saying it was ever a problem

i was just so lacking in confidence i just never had anything worthy to say or i felt that other people would think what i had to say was stupid, but who knows

i hate the fact that it sounds like another whole disorder to sa


----------



## pinkcupcake (Mar 2, 2011)

I had it so long ago they probably didn't even have a name for it yet. I didn't talk at all until 6th grade. But all thru high school I only talked when I had to. I remember going to a psycholgist when I was about 6 but I think I only went twice, and I remember hating it and thinking the guy was mean. It was awful. I remember teachers yelling at me and going to the guidance counselor for visits every week- I hated that too! I had a few more friends in 5th grade that I would talk to outside of class. I remmeber feeling like I was so different and lonely. I still have problems, at work, no one wants to date me, and have hardly any friends and the ones I do have I don't want to be friends with anymore- they have issues.


----------



## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

Yes. I was selectively mute for a brief period of time in Middle School. It actually "hurt" to talk.


----------



## Sollozzo (Mar 2, 2011)

Nope. My problem was probably talking too much, then feeling stupid about it afterwards.


----------



## allyouneedislove (Mar 5, 2011)

i didn't talk at all in elementary school.
i would just whisper to the teacher.


----------



## someguy8 (Sep 10, 2010)

I still do. I will not speak to you or look at you even if you are trying to speak to me. I will completely block you out. Irl anyways. I would only speak to people with authority over me like teachers in school. But i would be choking on my own breath while doing it. Its always getting worse for me though as i care a lot less. As in i dont care about opening my mouth as much as i used to. Too much work, getting old. Ah well.


----------



## Johnny_Genome (Nov 11, 2003)

Yes, outside my home -- I wouldn't socialize at all probably preschool thru 6th grade, but would respond to teachers when spoken to or things like that.


----------



## bobbie010 (Mar 5, 2011)

I still had it in some situations through high school. I usually nodded or gave one word replies, and I got made fun of for the latter. I still don't talk much.


----------



## amsy (Aug 17, 2011)

It bugs me how little people talk about this problem. I suffered through selective mutism for 10 years!! no one thought.. oh lets send her to counselling. So im totally screwed as an adult now. (emotionally, socially, etc)

Dont get me wrong i can talk now, most of the time its cuz i have to for work, (i work in customer service) but if my boss wants to give me less shifts i take it, i just want to sit at home alone all day and not speak. I feel like a loser, i have no friends because im too anxious to socialise, i have a phobia of talking on the phone even to family. i cant even grocery shop without having panic attacks. But i act like nothing is happening. 

Please tell me someone else feels like this. I know a therapist might help, but the thought of talking to someone i dont know... i dont think i can handle that. unless it was online or something. 
No one else gets me, my bf just thinks im aggro all the time as i dont respond to a question unless its a serious subject. He says i ignore him. But then i dont respond. ?? i feel like hibernating


----------



## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

My teachers during elementary school were concerned because I would never talk. I still dont.


----------



## StarlightSonic (Jul 12, 2011)

Yeah, I've had it since I was at school. It seems to have got progressively worse over the years though... I can't even say hello to someone.


----------



## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

Still do. Because it was always handled very poorly by those involved. The awareness sucks. This monster needs to be known and I wish I could help do that.

Because I'd rather die than live with this any longer.


----------



## kitkatstar1 (Jan 9, 2010)

Yes I've had it probably about 20 times in my life, it started with nodding and one word answers and I ended up not being able to talk to anyone, not even my family.


----------



## candiedsky (Aug 7, 2011)

*yep*

It's kind of funny how I didn't know the book term for SA, let alone selective mutism- but I have a bad case of both. In high school I never said a thing if I didn't have to. Did not once raise my hand to answer a question, was terrified of teachers who randomly called on students...

but yeah, it's not like i could have seen the definition beforehand and just played into selective mutism and blamed behaviour on it. I didn't even know it was a 'thing' but once i googled it it was totally me.

I don't know how the hell I'll handle college.


----------



## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

I may have had it. Does it mean you never talked even when people kept asking you too? Cause I was like that in elementary school. One of the teachers threatened to give me an F on something cause I wouldn't speak. :/


----------



## lissa530 (Oct 29, 2009)

No but many times especially when I was young I would give one word answers. Or well I do recall sometimes when being called on in class I would freeze up and not say anything. Not sure if that counts..


----------



## kunak (Mar 19, 2011)

No I was actually social as a child up until about 6th grade when I started developing anxiety. Everything went downhill from there.


----------



## Gimmicks (Feb 10, 2011)

I may have experienced it before when I was really young. At one point the teachers thought I had trouble reading because they put me in some special group to help boost my reading ability or whatever. The truth is I could read just fine, I just couldn't bring myself to talk and read in front of the class.. Well I guess on the plus side I became an even better reader and books kept me occupied (didn't really have good friends when I was a kid, still don't even now, what a surprise pff). These days there are still certain situations where I freeze up and can't talk but it's only temporary.


----------



## determination (Jul 22, 2011)

After smoking marijuana I would experience selective mutism and didn't care because I loved the high... probably did me a lot of damage


----------



## nork123 (Oct 22, 2009)

yep I have had selective mutism bad, and probably still do to some extent, but it was worse through school especially infant and primary, I just would not talk, even if people asked me a question I would just stand there mute and not even answer, and even during the register I would occasionally get marked absent because I didn't answer my name, I would only raise my hand. Even on quite a few occasions I would wet or soil myself because I wouldn't ask to go to the toilet, but i even remember a few times I would do it on the playground at playtime when I could have easily gone to the toilet, no idea why because i can't remember my exact thinking and mindset back then but am sure it was pretty messed up lol


----------



## kesker (Mar 29, 2011)

I seem to be unselectively mute...sucks.


----------



## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

Yes but not anymore thankfully!


----------



## flykiwi (Jul 18, 2011)

yes. This is the most challenging thing in my life.
its like a physical thing almost. I know its not of course but it feels like that.
it is why i cant have any friends.

people at work:
"your so quiet!" "why dont you ever say anything?"
or when i do say something (like hello)
"oh were you talking to me?" "your so soft spoken i didnt even hear you."

:/


----------



## Frenger868 (Apr 11, 2011)

I'm not really sure... in certain situations, the words won't come out, but I don't know if thats me being particularly nervous or having selective mutism

For example, I went to Michaels with my dad to buy some supplies, and there was another customer there who was buying the same things as me, and since she seemed to know more about it, my dad started asking her questions about it that would help us buy the right product for a beginner. I really wanted to ask some questions myself but I couldn't seem to speak.

You know what, on second thought, I doubt that was selective mutism, because I could talk to my dad in the store when no one else was around.

I guess it's just a case of being too nervous to get the words out.


----------



## Glue (Oct 26, 2010)

Yes.



MavenMI6Agent009 said:


> My teachers during elementary school were concerned because I would never talk.


Same.


----------



## purplefruit (Jan 11, 2011)

UltraShy said:


> No, in school I was the master of the one-word reply.
> 
> My teachers & parents totally failed to identify any anxiety disorder even when a very severe one sat right in front of them.
> 
> ...


This is really similar to my life, I think.

I was always very silent, but I was sort of on the "borderline" of "normal/healthy" forever.

I distinctly remember every report card I had growing up, my teachers would comment with things like "she's very quiet", "doesn't participate", "prefers to work individually", etc. Yet no one picked up on a problem or tried to help me :roll

I remember having a psychological assessment when I was in grade 2, but it was because I was being tested for the Gifted program. I never found out the result of that, my paranoia tells me the psychologist found out something was wrong wiht me and my parents denied the results :lol

I have been looking into Selective Mutism lately and it seems like one of my main problems that I've been dealing with for my whole life. I only talked around friends, never participated in class, often froze up when the teacher picked on me. I've heard that its usually identified and treated during childhood so I hope I'm not screwed.


----------



## Hybrid0fSouls (Aug 25, 2011)

*looks at you and blinks*


----------



## Hybrid0fSouls (Aug 25, 2011)

lol just kidding
And yeah, I have selective mutism. I am master of the head nodding/shaking and facial expressions with the occasional eye roll. I remember my teachers absolutely haaated it. Oh man, they did not like me at all. High school was the absolute worst because of presentations. Teachers would pressure everybody into public speaking. I had this one teacher, English teacher, who would have us all write long speeches on various topics. She'd then call us to the front of the class, and tell us how long our presentation had to be. We had no idea beforehand. She always made me speak for 16 minutes and I'd always stare at my shoes and mumble for 1 minute. Automatic F.
People always think of me as a snob when I don't say anything, but it's because I just can't. When I'm silent and looking at the floor, they must think I find it cool to look at or something. I was always just thought of as extremely shy til I did a little research.


----------



## IcoRules (Apr 29, 2009)

My entire life I was like this and I still am. I never, and I mean NEVER talked in school from pre-school all the way to the 12th grade. The most you would get would be a one or two word answer. I would mostly just shrug, nod my head or look away. When people asked why I never talked I would just shrug my shoulders.

I don't think teachers ever thought anything was wrong with me. They all just labeled me as shy. I was always know as "that quiet girl" or "girl who never talks".

I was even voted the quietest girl in my senior yearbook. Can't say I was surprised I one that one.....Even now I don't make a lot verbal answers. I still nod or shake my head, shrug my shoulders, etc.

I had no problem reading out loud in class though. I loved that


----------

