# My parents are SUPER ignorant, stubborn, and won't listen



## simplewrite (Apr 7, 2016)

Let me just state before I start that I love my parents very much. I really do. They work endlessly to give me the best life I can have, and I will be forever grateful for everything they do and have done for me. My mother is a loving person... well, to me and my sister at least. And while my father can be irrational and stern, I know he's only being that way from a place of love.

I really love my parents, but sometimes their views and morals can be so unbelieveably skewed that I find it hard to imagine how anyone could think that way. I'll elaborate in a second, but every time I try to talk about an important issue to them, I can't fight back because they always use the argument that since they are adults and I am but a mere teen (I just turned 18, so I am techinically an adult now) they know better and I know nothing. I am aware that I am still very young and I still have a lot to learn about society and the world. I know I don't have everything figured out yet, but sometimes my parents are just flat out WRONG without knowing it. And furthermore, according to their logic, I can't to listen to more informed and open-minded adults and I should only listen to my parents because we are blood-related and they think they're some all-knowing gods or something. It annoys me to no end because I know they're talking down to me, but at the same time I'm able to laugh it off because they're the one who sound stupid and not me.

*Here are three major instances where their ignorance shined through the most:*

One night I tried to explain to my mother what the Black Lives Movement is and what it stands for (to clarify, I'm also a part of the movement) because she had never heard of it. While explaining it, I also mentioned All Lives Matter and how the phrase takes focus away from African-American rights. When I was done, she proudly boasted that she was for All Lives Matter, which concerned me now that I knew my mother didn't share the same beliefs that I did. But I thought, if that's what she got from my explanation then I shouldn't criticize it, she's allowed to have different beliefs than me. Her reasoning however is what really got to me... "Why are you worrying about black people so much? You're not black. [We're Vietnamese] You think black people care about YOUR rights? I don't think so." Which... yikes.

Another instance was when I tried this new cruelty-free face wash. Keep in mind that all my makeup is cruelty-free and I found it works better on my face than other brands that are not. The skincare products I own that are cruelty-free have also greatly improved my skin. I've been trying to make my entire skincare routine cruelty-free, which is why I bought the face wash. However, I got an allergic reaction to it. And when I told my parents about it, they straight up said that they supported animal testing, which was problematic already. Then they went on to say, "I fully support brands that test on animals because that means it's a guarantee the product will work." Which is just not true. A product can be harmful regardless of if it's cruelty-free or not. But what grinded my gears the most is when this discussion went down: "You really believe them when they say it's cruelty free?" ("...What?") "The company just says that so they could get more people to buy it. It's false advertising. Every single company has to test on animals, they're just lying to you." ("...WHAT?!")

I couldn't believe my ears. I couldn't believe that something THAT ignorant just left my parents' lips. First of all, saying a product is cruelty-free is not "false advertising". Saying that something will give you smoother skin overnight when it doesn't, that's false advertising. And I know that there are brands out there who are not truly cruelty-free because they sell in places where animal testing is required or some other reason. But to say that every makeup and cosmetics company in the world tests on animals is just so, SO wrong. If that were the case, this and this wouldn't exist. And their reasoning behind why they thought that was something like, "They have to do animal testing! What else are they going to test it on, humans? There's no other option but animal testing." Yes there is. I told my parents all of this and even showed them the websites and they STILL. DIDN'T. BELIEVE. ME. Dear lord.

The third instance was last night. I'm still on the hunt for a new face wash, and this time, I'm specifically looking for one without microbeads because of how much pollution they bring to our oceans (and still cruelty-free of course). I found this one face wash with biodegradable beads made of wax instead of plastic. When I told my mom about it, she used the "they're lying to you and it's false advertising" argument again, which again annoyed me. A lot of this discussion was a lot similar to the last one BUT she also said, "How could microbeads pollute the ocean? It's just tiny plastic." Oh. my. god. Literally every single result you get when you google "microbeads" talks about harmful they are to the environment. I told her this and started hitting her with the facts ("There's like 8 trillion of them in the ocean" "The US, UK, and more countries have even tried to ban them altogether because of it") and she just ignored me like I said nothing and told me I had to keep using the face wash with microbeads.

I am fed up with their stubbornness. The worst part about all of this is that the end of every discussion, they tell me when I grow up and become an adult, I will understand what they're saying and think just like them. Oh HELL no. The last thing I want is to grow up with the same stubborn, ignorant mindset that my parents have. I don't know what I can do to have them take me seriously. (And I apologize for the length but as you can see, I had a LOT to rant about)


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

I think it boils down to some old people not being flexible and assuming that everything they learned in their childhood must've been the right way to do everything and anything new must be stupid. Civil rights didn't exist in the good old days, so why do these uppity people think they need them? Cruelty-free was never a concept in the good old days, so it must be a scam.

Perhaps -- though every parent is probably going to disagree with me on this -- you should just stop taking them seriously on such topics. Roll your eyes, laugh and move on. If they don't engage rationally with your arguments, no need to waste effort.

The good news is it is possible to grow up without becoming like that. You can stay open to new things and not become afraid of change. (Perhaps seeing it as an anxiety about the world changing can make it easier to empathize with your parents, as someone who also experiences anxiety.)


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## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

Parents are often very bad at understanding. My parents are so thick. My goodness. I wont even explain how much but trust me when i say my parents are so thick and stubborn and bad at understanding. Accept the fact that theyll never understand you and just live your life.


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## Iselez (Jul 14, 2017)

Lol, i'm a parent, let me try to explain the little phrase of growing up. WE PARENTS DON'T CARE. Being their daughter doesn't give you the divine right for changing their way of thinking. Its nice that your generation likes dogs more than humans, that you defend people, that you fight for the planet, it's nice. Not really, its plain stupid, but they'll never say it to you straight and to your face, they don't want to hear always about your things, they had their own friends who tried. They have their own life and thoughts, and it's ok for them to think like that. Why do we have to be flexible, because your generation wants it? Nahh you'll grow up 

Enviado desde mi Nexus 6P mediante Tapatalk


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## Sabk (Jun 15, 2017)

Iselez said:


> Lol, i'm a parent, let me try to explain the little phrase of growing up. WE PARENTS DON'T CARE. Being their daughter doesn't give you the divine right for changing their way of thinking. Its nice that your generation likes dogs more than humans, that you defend people, that you fight for the planet, it's nice. Not really, its plain stupid, but they'll never say it to you straight and to your face, they don't want to hear always about your things, they had their own friends who tried. They have their own life and thoughts, and it's ok for them to think like that. Why do we have to be flexible, because your generation wants it? Nahh you'll grow up
> 
> Enviado desde mi Nexus 6P mediante Tapatalk


I didn't read all other responses, but this one. And I have to agree, to a certain extent.
I'm in my late 20s, and I see some truth to what parents believe. I have my limits, though; I possess my own interests and value system, but I will admit some lessons you learn with age.

It used to rub me the wrong way when they'd say things such as "you'll see when you grow up", "you'll see in time", "it's understandable that you feel that way now, you might change your mind".

Of course, I'd stubbornly cling to my viewpoint. Lol, some things have changed. And it wasn't them as the source. Just life, people, circumstances.

Full disclosure: I have no idea whether or not my post is on topic. Oh well.


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