# Can't keep any online friends



## iminnocentenough (Jul 24, 2014)

I used to have dozens of online friends, back when I was in middle school and high school, that I used to talk to for hours and hours. Now I can barely keep anyone's friendship for more than a day. I'll get PM's from people wanting to be friends and I'll message back then never hear from them again. Then there's people who pity message me and only talk to me because they feel sorry for me or they don't want to be rude by ignoring me.

Kinda sad that I can't make any friends on or offline. Maybe it's just the way things are here because of our SA, or maybe I need to change how I am to be more attractive to potential friends. I don't wanna sound like I'm *****ing, but it is disheartening.

Anyone else experience this?


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## Owlbear (Dec 3, 2015)

I'm bad at keeping in touch, so I don't blame people when they stop talking. 

I'm not so big on online friends atm. A year back I was friends with a group of people, we'd do a google hangout every weekend. Then I later found out one of them had made a fake profile and had been messing with me for weeks. The rest of the group knew about it and were laughing behind my back - that's not my feelings, they admitted to. So I dropped them.


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## NuthinSimple (Jul 5, 2015)

I'll never leave you baby! Never ever ever!


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Yeah back when msn messenger was popular. I had a lot online friends.


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## eukz (Nov 3, 2013)

I've chatted with a lot of people I've met online, but it's always been hard for me to make an online friendship (even worse a relationship). I've always thought that friendships and relationships need IRL contact (not saying it's imposible, but it's better that way). It's easier for me to talk in a park or drinking beers. Just my opinion.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

I figure online friendships are easy to lose, since all it takes is for them to simply stop responding to you. By this, they would simply disappear from the face of your earth.


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## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

I have a hard time getting close to anyone online. I like to talk to many,many people, but there are only maybe 2 people that really know me. I reserve my raw emotions for the people closest to me.


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## binckie (Dec 4, 2015)

mollitor said:


> I'm bad at keeping in touch, so I don't blame people when they stop talking.
> 
> I'm not so big on online friends atm. A year back I was friends with a group of people, we'd do a google hangout every weekend. Then I later found out one of them had made a fake profile and had been messing with me for weeks. The rest of the group knew about it and were laughing behind my back - that's not my feelings, they admitted to. So I dropped them.


Sad story!

But what is a google hangout?


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## Owlbear (Dec 3, 2015)

binckie said:


> Sad story!
> 
> But what is a google hangout?


A google hangout is kind of like skype except you have 1-10 people all connected at once. So like a group skype session.


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## binckie (Dec 4, 2015)

mollitor said:


> A google hangout is kind of like skype except you have 1-10 people all connected at once. So like a group skype session.


Ah ok, I did not know that.
Too bad they fooled you. Pretty weird.


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## SweetDreams (Sep 30, 2013)

How do you have online friendships? I feel like it's hard enough trying to make conversation face to face, how do you sustain it when there are no spaces for lulls or laughter or facial expressions? Do you write long letters back and forth, or is it more like texting/IMing?


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## thetown (Aug 16, 2014)

It's incredibly easy to lie on the internet. We want to trust that the person we're talking to is exactly who they say they are, and we want someone who is genuinely interested in investing their time with us, which is harder to do online than in real life. Most people who regarded someone as being their close friend were someone that they met face to face before. 

I figure video chats can work too, but in my experience, I have been much more awkward in video than face to face.


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## iminnocentenough (Jul 24, 2014)

NuthinSimple said:


> I'll never leave you baby! Never ever ever!


Unless your *** gets banned xD


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## Carterrr95 (Dec 20, 2015)

iminnocentenough said:


> I used to have dozens of online friends, back when I was in middle school and high school, that I used to talk to for hours and hours. Now I can barely keep anyone's friendship for more than a day. I'll get PM's from people wanting to be friends and I'll message back then never hear from them again. Then there's people who pity message me and only talk to me because they feel sorry for me or they don't want to be rude by ignoring me.
> 
> Kinda sad that I can't make any friends on or offline. Maybe it's just the way things are here because of our SA, or maybe I need to change how I am to be more attractive to potential friends. I don't wanna sound like I'm *****ing, but it is disheartening.
> 
> Anyone else experience this?


Maybe you are talking to the wrong people. I have that problem with some people but there are 1 or 2 really good online friends of mine that I don't have that issue with, and that is because they are really good people. Just need to find the right people.


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## losthismarbles (Jul 5, 2014)

Me too but I have so much even trouble keeping non-online friends.


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## SFerg101 (Dec 20, 2015)

Same here. I used to be a social butterfly in elementary school but with some personal issues, that all went out the window in middle school. I partly redeemed myself in high school but am essentially back where I started. I probably have two real people I talk to and even then i feel like I'm bothering them by trying to talk. Its easier to talk to those online instead of in real life since it wont feel like you're being judged or seen.


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

they all move on.


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## harletta (Nov 4, 2012)

iminnocentenough said:


> I'll get PM's from people wanting to be friends and I'll message back then never hear from them again. Then there's people who pity message me and only talk to me because they feel sorry for me or they don't want to be rude by ignoring me.


Yeah, this happened to me a month ago or so. But I've never really had an online friend, no idea how you all do it.


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## iminnocentenough (Jul 24, 2014)

harletta said:


> Yeah, this happened to me a month ago or so. But I've never really had an online friend, no idea how you all do it.


My therapist said online things aren't healthy and rarely work out.


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## MamaDoe (Dec 15, 2015)

The only time I had online friends was when I was super good at one MMO and people *** sucked me. 

Now I have no online friends and barely any real life friends. Just not a likeable person I guess.


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## harletta (Nov 4, 2012)

iminnocentenough said:


> My therapist said online things aren't healthy and rarely work out.


Perhaps they're right. But it's better than nothing surely?


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## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

I used to now after a week they are sick of me i am to borring i guess wish people would tell me it sucks but that life


mollitor said:


> I'm bad at keeping in touch, so I don't blame people when they stop talking.
> 
> I'm not so big on online friends atm. A year back I was friends with a group of people, we'd do a google hangout every weekend. Then I later found out one of them had made a fake profile and had been messing with me for weeks. The rest of the group knew about it and were laughing behind my back - that's not my feelings, they admitted to. So I dropped them.


Woah that is bad i dont blame you from been pissed if the joke was on the rest of group fair enough but to do it just to one that a **** of a thing to do


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## Owlbear (Dec 3, 2015)

mike91 said:


> I used to now after a week they are sick of me i am to borring i guess wish people would tell me it sucks but that life
> 
> Woah that is bad i dont blame you from been pissed if the joke was on the rest of group fair enough but to do it just to one that a **** of a thing to do


Yeah it was really messed up of them. No reason for me to hang with that group any more after that.


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## Mlbu (Dec 22, 2015)

People usually stop talking to me when I refuse to video chat or add them to social media. I don't blame them, I guess it's normal to want to see what the person you've been talking to for months, is like behind the screen. I'm just scared of them thinking I'm too weird or ugly.


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## Ape (Sep 27, 2014)

Yeah, I haven't been too apt on making online friends, let alone maintaining my relations with them. Part of me wants the conversation, but I've never believed that people can really connect with one another if they haven't met in the flesh, so to speak. Talking to someone over the internet that I'll probably never even meet in real life is a maddening idea to me.


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## binckie (Dec 4, 2015)

tea111red said:


> they all move on.


The weird thing is: I was always the one trying to meet up , organizing stuff!
I stopped doing it.. all of a sudden nothing happened anymore.

For me again a mystery of life!


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## BAH (Feb 12, 2012)

They vanished..never to be heard from again


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## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

I feel my luck has turned around.

When I was younger, id try my hardest to make online friends...but l like you..they wouldn't last long..a day tops.

Now, I have about 5 good people I text...2 all night.
I hope your luck changes..

If not, I could be a texting buddy 😃


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## SillySuzan (Dec 5, 2015)

Nope I have no friends I had friends in HS not MIddle School middle was hell because these girls use to throw crap at me even while i was using the bathroom, I threw up a lot that year and had some hair lost due to stress anyways 
I use to talk to people online and it felt good to have some friends, guys telling me I'm pretty and what not wanting to hang out go to the movies...

It ended though..I have 1 friend on facebook and he ignores me half the time but I see that he's online...I known him for years now that's just the way he is he's on a lot of meds and he talks to me every 6 months when he snaps out of it...He'll ignore me then all of a sudden he wants' to be best friends again..I don't know why I put up with it...I guess it's nice having someone...even if they ignore you most of the time

I sometimes do and say things I should just to get people to pay attention to me (lol.) Just so I can have some kind of human interaction for a while. But online friends aren't real (I know been said a lot of times.)

it's hard to find real friends online and offline people seem to just want to use you or want to ignore you then want to be Besties when they feel like it...I'm like no that's not how friendships work, I am not a toy you play with when you're bored or need to jerk off to.


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## Violet Creamsicles (Oct 21, 2015)

I used to have many online friends on different websites. I was a good online friend (and still am) but usually a lot of these people didn't last or they stopped logging on after awhile. Now, I have a few good ones that I talk to on messengers through my phone other than that I refuse to have any expectations with people online because I don't expect anything from anybody anymore.


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## GhostlyWolf (Sep 7, 2015)

MamaDoe said:


> The only time I had online friends was when I was super good at one MMO and people *** sucked me.
> 
> Now I have no online friends and barely any real life friends. Just not a likeable person I guess.


I always seem to meet most of my online friends from MMOs. I have a pretty decent size group of online friends now from an MMO but it's mainly because they became outcasts in a guild I lurked in due to their Asocial personality type.


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## sweetSacrifice (Dec 23, 2011)

GhostlyWolf said:


> I always seem to meet most of my online friends from MMOs. I have a pretty decent size group of online friends now from an MMO but it's mainly because they became outcasts in a guild I lurked in due to their Asocial personality type.


Do you play runescape?


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## FunkyFedoras (Aug 30, 2013)

It's hard to keep because however you met them is probably not a media they use anymore so it's easy to lose touch, that's what I've found anyway. I also suck with keeping up with people. I'll think about people for days but I won't ever tell them a 'hello'. I've had a lot of online friends over my years on the internet but currently I have about 4-ish and the longest I've known one is 5-6 years. I lose them easily like other people say because I refuse to add people on social media (mostly because I don't even have those..?) so the person feels like I don't like them or something, idk. 

I don't think you should invest too much in those kinds of friendships because they really do come and go. However, I've gotten to talk to people years after that I hadn't talked to in forever and it's always like old times! It's nice to talk to people again when there's no bad blood.


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## GhostlyWolf (Sep 7, 2015)

flaminsnow said:


> Do you play runescape?


Nope.


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## Moxi (Nov 24, 2015)

I think maybe I was just more outgoing online when I was younger and that helped counteract how easily online conversations die off. Text is good for some things, not so good for really feeling like you know someone. Maybe I just didn't care or pay as much attention, too, because I was kind of a thick-headed teenager.

Sometimes people just disappear or sometimes things just get weird. Some conversations people drop talking about books and start asking a lot of uncomfortably personal questions, so I don't know how to respond without just saying "nope". I think those are my two most common outcomes in online friendships.

I try not to take it personally when things end.


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## LoneWolf14 (Dec 18, 2014)

flaminsnow said:


> Do you play runescape?


I do, I'm what you could call the GrandePoobah of old school runescape. thats my username btw add me


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## ellirpa (Dec 29, 2015)

The con I've experienced with online friends is one day they're talking up a storm with you, then the next day it's pretty much like they've fallen off the face of the earth. 

Or they get angry because you don't want to show yourself in a Skype video. *Uh, sorry that I have SA that's preventing me from doing so, if I had a choice I wouldn't have it.*

After awhile, I just quit trying to make friends, period, because I haven't had much luck with that route.


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## Ominous Indeed (Sep 6, 2015)

ellirpa said:


> The con I've experienced with online friends is one day they're talking up a storm with you, then the next day it's pretty much like they've fallen off the face of the earth.
> 
> Or they get angry because you don't want to show yourself in a Skype video. *Uh, sorry that I have SA that's preventing me from doing so, if I had a choice I wouldn't have it.*
> 
> After awhile, I just quit trying to make friends, period, because I haven't had much luck with that route.


Your effort wasnt bad in your earlier thread. Friends will come your way 

Personally I have never asked someone to skype with me on this website, but if I did and they said no that would be totally ok for me as long as they could provide me with proof they were not catfishing me. Obviously I mean friendships that have lasted for sometime.

If I had talked to someone for a year and I figured out they werent who they said I would cut their nuts off


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## ellirpa (Dec 29, 2015)

Demon Soul said:


> Your effort wasnt bad in your earlier thread. Friends will come your way
> 
> Personally I have never asked someone to skype with me on this website, but if I did and they said no that would be totally ok for me as long as they could provide me with proof they were not catfishing me. Obviously I mean friendships that have lasted for sometime.
> 
> If I had talked to someone for a year and I figured out they werent who they said I would cut their nuts off


Well thanks. I do get where people come from sometimes as far as the whole "catfishing" issues go. I would be pretty upset if it happened to me.

"I would cut their nuts off" Hahaha doesn't sound pleasant


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## AffinityWing (Aug 11, 2013)

I've been in the same boat, I had so much friends on this one site when I was much younger that I'm pretty sure I was mildly popular on there even. There came a time when every last one had already left, but I still couldn't leave it myself so it was quite lonely. It took me years to leave, but when I finally did I found and make alot of friends on Tumblr and Twitter instead. 

Now they've all left too and I know three people that I don't talk to as much as I'd like to and it's because I'm constantly thinking I'm nothing to them (even though one of them constantly called me their "best friend"), and feel really distanced from now that I don't really tweet that much at all. It can't be helped though, they're all in their 20s, with jobs and obviously much wider social circles so they go through problems I couldn't even comprehend of. I've considered blocking them many times, but I know it would blow up in my face and I'd be left with 0 online friends for as long as I still use social media. 

And I've already stopped talking to this one girl I knew from another site that was one of people who were the closest things to a best friend I've ever had, because she became too much for a "weeaboo" for me and I knew it wouldn't be good sticking around having that kind of immaturity rub off on me. I still feel horrible about it and I'm sure she must hate me now, since she's repeatedly left me messages on Facebook since I left about how she missed me and "I don't know what I did to make you do this, but.." etc. I guess I just reap what I sow since it's resulted in me loosing every last online friend I've known, since.


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## Camelleone (Feb 3, 2011)

even I'm bad at making friends in real life but I think I'm better at real life rather than online.


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## Denzoy (Dec 29, 2015)

MamaDoe said:


> The only time I had online friends was when I was super good at one MMO and people *** sucked me.
> 
> Now I have no online friends and barely any real life friends. Just not a likeable person I guess.


Jup exactly the same for me, i used to play a WoW Private server where i used to be a god in pvp for some people, then the server shutdown. i just wish i had some game friends again to play games together and have fun.


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## Cyan22 (Jul 11, 2014)

I can relate, first it was a large pool of friends in an MMO, then a small group on a private forum. There was also another person I pm'd for several months.

It's all gone.


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

I guess I've come to accept that online friends are always temporary. Longest I've had an online friend is probably about a year or a little over, discounting people I only catch up with every few months or weeks.

I suppose it's the nature of online friendships. You don't speak to a "real life" friend as often as you do an online one, so in my experience the moment the routine you have is broken, you skip talking for a few days, have a minor argument, whatever else, it's gonna start dying.

The absolute worst part about it all though is starting to recognise the warning signs after you've already been through it a few times. You'll catch up every few days instead of talking a lot, response times get slower, and this makes the conversation suffer. Less smilies appear because you both feel detached. Inside jokes no longer garner the same reaction. Only talking to you if you message them first, to let them know you still exist. It's quite a heartbreaking and slow process. I suppose the smart thing to do is just let it slide, if they wanna remain friends, they'll come to you eventually, but it feels bad just abandoning a connection you had with someone.


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## nothing else (Oct 27, 2013)

Never had any online friends. I'd aim for real life friends anyway, they're probably better.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

nothing else said:


> Never had any online friends. I'd aim for real life friends anyway, they're probably better.


To an extent, but still difficult to keep and build up friendships that are close and long lasting. Its even getting easier to be dropped as a friend irl since we rely so much on technology to communicate.


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## lonerroom (May 16, 2015)

I cannot keep friends online or in real life. It just never lasts...


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## nothing else (Oct 27, 2013)

rdrr said:


> To an extent, but still difficult to keep and build up friendships that are close and long lasting. Its even getting easier to be dropped as a friend irl since we rely so much on technology to communicate.


Oh it's difficult getting any friends if you have SA. But online is different. It's easier to forget about friends online or not care to build a relationship in the first place.


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## Unicornlaserhorn (Jul 25, 2014)

I feel I put a lot of tlc in my online friendships and its unreciprocated or I'm not taken seriously. The initial making friends was easy, just being polite... People are people though so I wouldn't base your character on some failed friendships online. Things change.


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## naptime (Aug 20, 2015)

I never really understood the whole online friend thing until recently. For me it seems to be something that has to happen by chance when you're not actually looking for someone to be friends with. I also think you really have to hit it off with the person and have some sort of connection right away.

Another big problem is Skype. Some people will only skype with online friends while others want nothing to do with it. I've been asked a few times if I Skype. NO I DON'T, at least not with someone I've never met face to face. I'd be too nervous.


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## TheGuardian (Jun 20, 2015)

I purposely stopped talking to this one friend only because he literally messaged me EVERY SINGLE DAY like we were dating or something. I barely had time to breathe he texted me so much. It really got irritating. Also he had a ton of problems that i had 0 advice for and didn't want to hear about so one day i just stopped talking to him. I felt kinda bad but man he was a handful.


On another note, ive made a few friends in this game i play but the games dying because of certain reasons so alot of my friends left. The guild i'm in used to be so active and now its only me and like 2 other people. I miss talking to them


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## nepnep247 (Feb 25, 2016)

ur older thats why


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## user2017 (Feb 8, 2016)

I had many people that I chatted with daily, back in the days of MSN and ICQ. I still chat with some of them nowadays but with 90% of them I didn't talk for years... because ICQ and MSN are dead, they don't use it anymore and there is no way to contact them now. But I met some nice guys in an online game and I talk quite often with them.


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## Ominous Indeed (Sep 6, 2015)

Mlbu said:


> People usually stop talking to me when I refuse to video chat or add them to social media. I don't blame them, I guess it's normal to want to see what the person you've been talking to for months, is like behind the screen. I'm just scared of them thinking I'm too weird or ugly.


Personally. If I talk to a girl, and I end up seeing her and she doesn't look like my type of girl, the only thing that really happens is: You friendzone them, but never have I stopped talking to someone because of their looks if I enjoy it. And who knows, maybe that friendzone gets inverted if the chemistry really is there.


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## Mur (Jan 20, 2011)

Of course, whether you have SA or not friends come and go, both irl and online - the overwhelming majority of friendships have expiration dates on them and that's simply something you have to learn to accept.


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## samiisprink (Jul 27, 2015)

I've had two online friends ever. The first one I met in real life first but we didn't live close to each other. That didn't last very long probably like 3 months, but I would say we messaged 5 times or less in those 3 months. After that we just drifted and stopped talking to each other. But I must add, when we met in person we were on a college tour and really excited to meet people, but in the end I don't think we had that much in common to begin with. My second online friend I met here ( on SAS) and we've never met in person or video chatted and we've been friends for about 6 months. We also message each other A LOT. I also feel like I have just as much of a connection with my online friend as I do with my IRL friends but I might not be the best example because I only have like 2 IRL friends and out those only 1 best friend. I also base my connections with someone on how much I'm willing to share with that person not so much experiences because I have a weird past with friends and experiences. So I don't think it's impossible to build a meaningful friendship online. It really only depends on how much both people want to be friends. But that could be said for friendships IRL too. As for them being temporary: any friendship can be temporary whether in person or online. One day someone friend stops talking to another friend and then BAM they aren't friends anymore. It's the same thing and to me they would both hurt just as much.


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