# I'm not friends with my roommates



## saywhat (Oct 2, 2014)

I'm really not friends with my roommates. I live in a a town-house style residence. There is a total of 5 of us in the house. I live in the double room so I have an actual roommate. The other 4 girls instantly clicked with each other but I didn't. They always hangout in each other's rooms and talk, watch movies and stuff while im in my room doing hw or something. They didn't know each other before but they became instant friends. Sure I talk to them but I don't have much conversation. Simple hi/bye/oh do you have class? type of thing. Whenever I'm with them I just feel really awkward and out of place. Maybe its because most of my friends back home are guys (pretty much all of them give or take a couple other girls) and i'm not used to being with girls. But i am different from them. They seem much girlier than me and I just cant relate to them. 
Is it weird that all of them are friends except for me? I just don't really know how i talk to them so i dont say anything. Is this normal? because most people ive seen in residence seem already pretty close with their roommates.


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## Silent Witness (Sep 4, 2014)

I'd say it's pretty normal to not be chummy with one's roommates. I never liked sharing my flat when I was an undergrad at uni. I purposely avoided my going back to my flat and just spent my time either in the library or in studying around campus on my free-time. Don't feel bad or out of place because most of us SAers have struggled with living with others. Maybe you can branch out and get involved on campus in groups or clubs that you have an eager interest in. You might click with others there and find some friends.


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## Raynic781 (Feb 8, 2013)

I think it's normal as well. I'm friends with my roommate, but that's because we click with each other. You don't have to be friends with the people you live with, as long as you're cordial with each other it's fine.


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## ForeverInBloom (Oct 4, 2010)

I'd say it's normal. You can't expect to befriend everyone, and that is okay. 

When I was at university, I had four other roommates, and it was the same thing with them. We didn't even say hi to each other. It was so bad that when I invited a friend over, he said the room felt a little tense...

It's alright, and don't let it get to you. Maybe try to make more open ended questions and such. 

Best of luck!


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## Oana (Sep 25, 2014)

Hi!

I think I have a opposite problem. I don't have problems talking and finding subjects to talk about with girls but I have problems with boys. From my point of view, girls are simple and you can easily start a conversation with any of them. Maybe you watch the same TV Show they watch and you can start a conversation from there. You can compliment something you like about one of them. Talk about their interests, hobbies and then share yours too. I am a girl myself. If the group is already formed, I suggest you start getting closer to each one of them separately. Then pick one you liked more and try and become friends. You may be included in a group by one of them.
Or after you met each one in particular when you see them together ask them how their day went, share some stories from your class if you have any. Or talk about a teacher from a class.


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## NotLovedRejected (Sep 21, 2014)

@ Saywhat,

Yeah, I can totally relate to your college/university roommate situation.

I didn't live with a bunch of roommate, unlike your situation, because I had anxiety of TV noise, computer game noise, etc, since I was a very studious student.

I lived with one roommate back in college, but I still felt uncomfortable with this guy. He ended out moving out after the first semester, since I complained to the RA about him bringing his fraternity friends over at 4AM, waking me up, and me having no chance to get a good night sleep.

I had another roommate move-in the following semester. Same garbage. He would play computer games up to 1 or 2AM in the morning. He also tended to slack off an not go to class. Would occasionally fart in bed, which was crassless and disgusting of him to do so.

Lastly, I am not that much of a social person. I'm more introverted. Hence I don't like rooming with random people I have not met in life.


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## cherryboom (Jun 14, 2012)

saywhat said:


> I'm really not friends with my roommates. I live in a a town-house style residence. There is a total of 5 of us in the house. I live in the double room so I have an actual roommate. The other 4 girls instantly clicked with each other but I didn't. They always hangout in each other's rooms and talk, watch movies and stuff while im in my room doing hw or something. They didn't know each other before but they became instant friends. Sure I talk to them but I don't have much conversation. Simple hi/bye/oh do you have class? type of thing. Whenever I'm with them I just feel really awkward and out of place. Maybe its because most of my friends back home are guys (pretty much all of them give or take a couple other girls) and i'm not used to being with girls. But i am different from them. They seem much girlier than me and I just cant relate to them.
> Is it weird that all of them are friends except for me? I just don't really know how i talk to them so i dont say anything. Is this normal? because most people ive seen in residence seem already pretty close with their roommates.


I feel the same as you everyone is so chummy with their housemates but mine are not interested in me. They are always laughing and giggling in each other's rooms and I feel so left out that sometimes I start crying. I feel like they are all so much better than me I can't describe it!

I'm not sure how normal it is but I do know it happens a lot. My suggestion would be find more friends around campus and spend time with them. That's what I am aiming for.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

I can relate. My roommates are all close friends. Really extroverted, pretty, popular girls.
And then there's me, the weird quiet girl who keeps to herself.


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## ROATERMAN (Oct 21, 2014)

If she doesn't dislike you and do bad stuff, who cares? My sister had a roomy she didn't really relate to, but it didn't cause any problem. There's plenty of other people I'm sure you would have a better experience being friends with anyway. Just keep your possibilities open and don't make a point of not being her friend.


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## bluecrime (Jan 27, 2013)

Yeah I’m in a flat of 6. 5 guys (including myself) and 1 girl. ****ing hate them all. Seriously can’t tell the guys apart. It’s like there clones!


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