# Escalating situation (possible emergency)



## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

I'll keep it short because I'm not sure how much time I got alone. (And most people don't like tsunami's of texts.)

Yesterday all of us (my mother, brother and I) were cleaning our bedrooms. I finished more quickly than them, for various reasons, but according to my mother I wasn't done yet. I ignored that, and just went downstairs. Now today, they both continued for their own rooms, and I didn't clean mines because for myself, I was done. Then they came downstairs (about 10 minutes ago) and called me lazy, game-addicted. And I just said "Isn't that my choice?" on a calm tone to her. She then started to yell at me, calling me names like "***hole", "mother******" and some other things. Then I actually got angry, which is normal, but this time I accidently said something back (although calm), and she got even more mad at me. Now I'm arroggant, lazy and all of the above. 

Plus my brother supports my mother immediately, not a suprise. So if I could get any advice, maybe for trying to keep everything to myself and just let them yell at me? Thanks for in advance.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Maybe you're room wasn't as clean as you thought? They seem to really be into cleanliness. I would of just clean it how she wanted and then go on with my day .


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

Kevin001 said:


> Maybe you're room wasn't as clean as you thought? They seem to really be into cleanliness. I would of just clean it how she wanted and then go on with my day .


I meant clean as in uhm, making it more organized and throwing away things I don't use anymore. And of course vacuuming, removing dust here and there etc. But it's around 30°C in my room due to the Sun and hot weather, and I'm not allowed to put up any ventiatlion except my window. Wouldn't it be better to do it on a less hot day anyways?

Aside from that, things already happened so, not sure how it's going to develop.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

EarthDominator said:


> I meant clean as in uhm, making it more organized and throwing away things I don't use anymore. And of course vacuuming, removing dust here and there etc. But it's around 30°C in my room due to the Sun and hot weather, and I'm not allowed to put up any ventiatlion except my window. Wouldn't it be better to do it on a less hot day anyways?
> 
> Aside from that, things already happened so, not sure how it's going to develop.


I would of just did what she wanted since I'm still under her roof/authority. I see your point though. But best of luck with everything.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

Kevin001 said:


> I would of just did what she wanted since I'm still under her roof/authority. I see your point though. But best of luck with everything.


Fair enough. Though I've been doing so for the past year, without any benefits for me. But, thank you for the help though.


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## Red2N (Oct 7, 2017)

What did you say, Earth?


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

Red2N said:


> What did you say, Earth?


On what exactly?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Red2N (Oct 7, 2017)

> ...but this time I accidently said something back (although calm), and she got even more mad at me.


Or were you referring to the 'my choice' comment?


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

I'm really sorry that your family was yelling at you and calling you terrible things. 

Maybe your room was clean but they just were unhappy anyways.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

How is this an emergency?

I don't know what kind of parent calls their kid an ******* or a mother****er though. That's bizarre.


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## BeautyandRage (Jul 2, 2018)

Calling you names is definitely uncalled for and disgusting on their part. Don’t clean your room here and there, but always keep it clean so there’s nothing to complain about. Take it upon yourself to do some housework before you’re told to. Dishes, kitchen cleaning, clean the living room or bathroom. Take the trash out? Something. I don’t know if you pay rent, but whether or not you do you still have a responsibility to help out around the house especially as an adult living at home. Tell her it’s disrespectful that she’s calling you names and not something a family should do, especially a parent to their child. Also, being lazy and game addicted can be your choice when you don’t share a home with your parents because they still need your help around the house.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

SAgirl said:


> I'm really sorry that your family was yelling at you and calling you terrible things.
> 
> Maybe your room was clean but they just were unhappy anyways.


I've become used to it by now, it's nothing new.

No matter what I do, it's never good enough so sometimes I don't even try my best because I just know, it won't be good enough anyways.



komorikun said:


> How is this an emergency?
> 
> I don't know what kind of parent calls their kid an ******* or a mother****er though. That's bizarre.


For the people that know me personally...well they understand why it could be an emergency.

It's not uncommon for her to say that when she gets angry with me.



BeautyandRage said:


> Calling you names is definitely uncalled for and disgusting on their part. Don't clean your room here and there, but always keep it clean so there's nothing to complain about. Take it upon yourself to do some housework before you're told to. Dishes, kitchen cleaning, clean the living room or bathroom. Take the trash out? Something. I don't know if you pay rent, but whether or not you do you still have a responsibility to help out around the house especially as an adult living at home. Tell her it's disrespectful that she's calling you names and not something a family should do, especially a parent to their child. Also, being lazy and game addicted can be your choice when you don't share a home with your parents because they still need your help around the house.


I can hardly keep my room clean when others put _their_ stuff in it. Whether I like it or not, my room is partly used as storage for just about anything. You got any idea how hard it is for me to even get out of my bed. Right now I still got a migraine lasting from last Thursday, it's extremely warm especially for where I live, I need to prepare myself for my birthday party next week where I will get questions like "When will you get a girlfriend?" or "When are you going to party?". For her, it's disrespectful to go against her will. And I'm used to it, it's not uncommon for her to say that all. Okay...I'm not lazy _nor_ game addicted. It's not like I choose to have depression and all the other stuff around it. :frown2:


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## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

Dont let it affect you, i found that we as humans have the ability to learn to not let problems affect us emotionally. Especially if it is people like that. I'm sorry that you were dealt such an awful circumstance in life  but just know that it is not your fault and that they are in the wrong and that things will get better some day soon.


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## KotaBear96 (Dec 11, 2017)

Move the **** out of there. Honestly, if your mum wants your room spotless it's her right as she owns the house. If she doesn't want you playing video games she also has a right, weather your an adult or not. As long as your in her house she can nag you as much as she wants. My mum would threaten to throw my console out the window, never did but occasionally she would unplug it, if I was on there to long. However the abuse your mum gave you is uncalled for and disgusting, also sounds like a bit of favoritism with your other siblings. More of a reason to get out of there.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

sad1231234 said:


> Dont let it affect you, i found that we as humans have the ability to learn to not let problems affect us emotionally. Especially if it is people like that. I'm sorry that you were dealt such an awful circumstance in life  but just know that it is not your fault and that they are in the wrong and that things will get better some day soon.


Well as I said before, I'm used to it by now. Both by my mother and brother. It won't change, but that's completely fine because you can't have everything.



KotaBear96 said:


> Move the **** out of there. Honestly, if your mum wants your room spotless it's her right as she owns the house. If she doesn't want you playing video games she also has a right, weather your an adult or not. As long as your in her house she can nag you as much as she wants. My mum would threaten to throw my console out the window, never did but occasionally she would unplug it, if I was on there to long. However the abuse your mum gave you is uncalled for and disgusting, also sounds like a bit of favoritism with your other siblings. More of a reason to get out of there.


Wish I could, and were able to. Even if money weren't a problem, I would not be allowed to leave. Aside from that part, she yells and insults me way more than my younger brother.


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## vedavon8 (Oct 27, 2017)

i call my brother an ******* and mother****er but he really is a jerk 

you didnt seem to be trying to harm anybody maybe should've asked what do they see wrong in your room before it escalated to angry words


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## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

Things do change, and you have no idea what the future holds  anything can happen in all those years. And i still dont understand why you think you couldnt move out if you had the money, what is stopping you? Your mom cant stop you from moving out if you have enough money, dont yu know that you are 18 which is the legal age of independance in most countries? At 18, in most countries, you are a legal adult and no one has custody/control over you, not even your parents.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

EarthDominator said:


> Wish I could, and were able to. Even if money weren't a problem, I would not be allowed to leave. Aside from that part, she yells and insults me way more than my younger brother.


It's either you be dependent on your mom and keep enduring in what you see as her emotional and verbal abuse to you, -or- you take the leap to move out and be independent and no longer have to deal with your mom and family. At 18, you're pretty much an adult so they cannot physically not allow you to leave shall you choose to.

If you do not, then it is really you yourself choosing to keep living with them and endure your constant altercations/drama with them.



komorikun said:


> How is this an emergency?


I'm wondering the same.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

Blue Dino said:


> It's either you be dependent on your mom and keep enduring in what you see as her emotional and verbal abuse to you, -or- you take the leap to move out and be independent and no longer have to deal with your mom and family. At 18, you're pretty much an adult so they cannot physically not allow you to leave shall you choose to.
> 
> If you do not, then it is really you yourself choosing to keep living with them and endure your constant altercations/drama with them.
> 
> I'm wondering the same.


Okay then, I get it now. It's my fault, but in that case I can also undertake action to change it, even without moving out. Although I'm not sure what I did wrong to my family to deserve this, but maybe it should've been this way from the start.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

EarthDominator said:


> Okay then, I get it now. It's my fault, but in that case I can also undertake action to change it, even without moving out. Although I'm not sure what I did wrong to my family to deserve this, but maybe it should've been this way from the start.


Well it's not a matter it being your fault or someone else's fault. Every family is different. Some are in family with squabbles, some are in families with smothering family members, some with straight up depraved and broken family members. Yours to me sounds like the underlined part. I don't think it's you doing anything wrong to them. I think that is just the way they are. So I do think it's really up to you to work on something to get yourself away from that situation (not living with them anymore), or not do so and continue living with them.

And not to downplay your situation, maybe there are many problems you have with them that I and we don't know about. But judging from most of your rant threads, your issues with your parents and family seem pretty trivial compare to some of the issues other members go through with their family, which are much more severe and urgent.

Because when you had the "emergency" on your title, I really thought it was something bad this time, when it turns out the emergency is you being upset that your mom yelled at you for not cleaning your room to her satisfaction...


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

Blue Dino said:


> Well it's not a matter it being your fault or someone else's fault. Every family is different. Some are in family with squabbles, some are in families with smothering family members, some with straight up depraved and broken family members. Yours to me sounds like the underlined part. I don't think it's you doing anything wrong to them. I think that is just the way they are. So I do think it's really up to you to work on something to get yourself away from that situation (not living with them anymore), or not do so and continue living with them.
> 
> And not to downplay your situation, maybe there are many problems you have with them that I and we don't know about. But judging from most of your rant threads, your issues with your parents and family seem pretty trivial compare to some of the issues other members go through with their family, which are much more severe and urgent.
> 
> Because when you had the "emergency" on your title, I really thought it was something bad this time, when it turns out the emergency is you being upset that your mom yelled at you for not cleaning your room to her satisfaction...


Okay, sorry.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

EarthDominator said:


> Okay, sorry.


Well, I don't really mean to pick on you for that. It's not really important honestly.

Again the important thing is for you is what I said, you are in control of the situation realistically. It's rather you want to work on to moving out or not. Your situation or whatever upsets you now *is fixable*. Good luck.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

Blue Dino said:


> Well, I don't really mean to pick on you for that. It's not really important honestly.
> 
> Again the important thing is for you is what I said, you are in control of the situation realistically. It's rather you want to work on to moving out or not. Your situation or whatever upsets you now *is fixable*. Good luck.


You say it like it's done within the blink of an eye, or as easy as it gets. But it's not, not for me. To many people on SAS, it looks so easy to solve yet it isn't.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

EarthDominator said:


> You say it like it's done within the blink of an eye, or as easy as it gets. But it's not, not for me. To many people on SAS, it looks so easy to solve yet it isn't.


No it's not easy, never said it is. It's not done within the blink of an eye. Nothing in life is easy. But people generally will not get themselves out of a bad situation without working hard to through a tough path, to get themselves into a better situation. And then they will run into having to go through another tough path again to get themselves into an even better situation. And the cycle continues. That's life. And you learn and grow stronger with ever tough path in life you traverse. Words are easier said than done. But still doesn't make the words any less true. Of course all anyone of us here who wants to give you advice is nothing more than "words". But it's your life, so you're gonna have to be the one to do it.

Anyone have done this, or are working to do this, or struggling to keep trying. Not just you, shall you choose to. <And this pretty much is life itself for most of us. If everything is easy and handed to you, what's the point of life?


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

Blue Dino said:


> No it's not easy, never said it is. It's not done within the blink of an eye. Nothing in life is easy. But people generally will not get themselves out of a bad situation without working hard to through a tough path, to get themselves into a better situation. And then they will run into having to go through another tough path again to get themselves into an even better situation. And the cycle continues. That's life. And you learn and grow stronger with ever tough path in life you traverse. Words are easier said than done. But still doesn't make the words any less true. Of course all anyone of us here who wants to give you advice is nothing more than "words". But it's your life, so you're gonna have to be the one to do it.
> 
> Anyone have done this, or are working to do this, or struggling to keep trying. Not just you, shall you choose to. <And this pretty much is life itself for most of us. If everything is easy and handed to you, what's the point of life?


So, in short, I got it easy then. Well if that's the thing, then I should not be complaining about my life in the first place.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

EarthDominator said:


> So, in short, I got it easy then. Well if that's the thing, then I should not be complaining about my life in the first place.


I never said that.. at least on my very previous post. But you having it easy or hard isn't the matter. What matters is you're unhappy with your situation and it's up to you to want to do something to change it or not. Period.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

Blue Dino said:


> I never said that.. at least on my very previous post. But you having it easy or hard isn't the matter. What matters is you're unhappy with your situation and it's up to you to want to do something to change it or not. Period.


Not with words, but intention. But it's fine, becaues it's possibly true. Who cares what I want.


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## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

you actually handled the initial situation well, you reacted calmly which is great a lot of people (myself included) can't always react logically and calm in the heat of the moment, so well done there. 

you have tried your best, if people can't accept that, that is their problem, not yours.


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