# I just want to sleep and never wake up... I feel like I should just give up in life,



## Smithtimothy983 (Nov 20, 2013)

I've asked this question several times before and despite all the very thoughtful answers, nothing worked. I don't want to ask a doctor or anything about my case because I don't want pills to solve my problem or anything like that, I just want a straight-up genuine solution. This will probably be a very long question because I've been suffering from this for as long as I can remember and I'm literally about to snap. I'm like a ticking time bomb like Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver and I'm about to blow any second, I've been suffering from depression and social anxiety forever. I have trouble conversing with people and I'm currently in high school, and I use to have friends but I honestly found them immature and obnoxious as they never really accepted me as a real person and they treated me like trash, so I "ditched" (left) them in hopes of meeting and hanging out with new people but I felt really sad about doing this because I've been with them ever since elementary school. 

A couple of days ago I was walking home and I walked by one of them and he was about to talk to me but he looked really sad so he just sort of walked away from me, and I felt miserable for the whole day. Ever since then nothing's worked and I've met a couple of people but I'm so incredibly socially awkward that it's literally impossible for me to get *real* new friends. Most of the people in my classes are pretty rude and ignorant people and they all seem oblivious to society's issues and follow everyone else, like robots (and of course I'm not generalizing everyone, these are just a number of people in my classes). I'm sick of "popular" people and celebrities and I know it honestly shouldn't concern me but I can't help it, it truly does. I have huge problems starting conversations and I've tried to step out of my comfort zone but it rarely ends well. For lunch I just go to the library to do homework due the next day or I just go home for lunch and eat there while everyone else has people to hang out with, and I have no social life. In terms of dances and stuff pretty much everyone has people to go there with except me, I'm just left in the shadows and I feel beyond left out. I lock myself in my room most of the time using the computer and I have constant headaches.

I really don't like school because I feel like I'm wasting my time learning things that I'm probably going to forget within moments or won't apply to the well-being of my future and I could be exploring and living my life as I please rather than practically being stuck in this prison (watch Ken Robinson's video "Do skills kill creativity?"). Don't get me wrong at all, I love learning about new things but it's the way we're taught these things that really throw me off (read the article "14 Good Reasons why School Sucks & Things I Hate About School"). I cry when I'm alone and sometimes to sleep, and I practically feel weak and sick 24/7. I've tried everything I could possibly do but barely anything worked, and the things that did were only temporary. I feel like there's no point in living because we're all going to die anyways and what's the point of improving the world by making new products and innovations or w/e if it's all going to go to waste one day? 

I'm sick of corporations and money and how complicated the world is, all I want to do in life is live in the beautiful nature of Yosemite, the Appalachians, the Pennsylvania woodlands, or something like that where I can escape all of society's troubles forced upon us and I can live peacefully without the stress of worrying about how the stocks are doing or whatever. I try to listen to peaceful and uplifting music like classical, Metallica, Pink Floyd, or anything like that and watch movies (movies practically make me forget about the problems around me and transport me to a completely different world for a while) and TV and so many other things yet no matter what I do that puts me in a state of peace and happiness, it inevitably degrades into a very gloomy and miserable mood with the similar misanthropy and such. I'm working out more often and I'm feeling slightly better about myself yet I'm still lacking the motivation to go to the gym or run outside when I feel sick and tired more times than not. 

One day I'll no longer be a child and I'll be thrown into an even bigger world of problems and life's going by too fast, I'm not making use of it enough. People have recommended me to not think about death and experience life and make use of it while we're here but I literally cannot get myself to think with that mindset. I realize that I'm an incredibly cynical person but I've tried everything. Why must life be so cold and detached? To be fair I've only scratched the surface and I could probably go on for hours but that'd be a waste of your time. Please, if you have *any* suggestions at all that you think can help me please let me know because as I said I can't take it any more.


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## Mandei (Jun 10, 2013)

Focus on future and think about what is bad now as temporary. Find a hobbie.. It can even be writing note of the day or taking walk every day. Or going to library reading a book every day. Well you know just dont care that much.. Ur not alone with this but just dont give a ***. If u stop giving a **** and blaming yourself u start enjoying things..or at least feel normal.. I dunno I keep talking to myself lots of times about what should I do or cheering up myself. U gotta fond ur own harmony.. Idk try try cause no one is gonna do it for you. It can pass eventually. I found harmony by playing games, finding few good texting buddies, listening to music in school, dont giving a **** that much anymore. Taking anxiety not seriously and on my lunch going to library doing homework and time isnt wasted. Chill a little life is good  take care <3


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## JakeBoston1000 (Apr 8, 2008)

sad to say but if you are one of the cursed people of the world life only gets harder and harder. if you have bad luck and bad genetics nothing will make it any easier. of course just speaking from my own experience though.


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## MrZetnek (Oct 12, 2013)




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## South Keys (Nov 6, 2013)

You should work on something, anything. Yes, you will die and everyting you do will be absolutely worthless BUT, and this is a big but, that's exactly the reason as to why you should be working on being happy. 

You have the chance to do this. You're not busy fighting lions or looking for your next meal.


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## Juno1984 (Nov 5, 2013)

There is a point to your life, since your still here! Even you just making this thread could be helping a lot people feel that their not so alone. 

Trying (and failing) to be like everybody else and wanting to possess what they have, has made me wanna kill myself. 

There's no need to be afraid of the real you :hug


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## chessman6500 (Sep 5, 2013)

I am in exactly the same position as you right now. I have been trying every hobby known to man, and yet I haven't found something I've truly liked. I am going to start reading one book a week, but this is the third or fourth hobby I have tried. For you, please don't say you want to die. You have a whole life ahead of you. Screw the people in school if they can't take the initiative to strike up a conversation. Focus hard, I mean really hard, on your schoolwork, and please try to stay positive. Create a reason to live each day, like looking at the sunrise each morning. Try to create a list of what you like and dislike about school, and make yourself feel better by doing this. I have hope you'll improve, keep going.


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## KawaiiHime (Oct 10, 2013)

do you write a diary?
if you don't my advice to you is to start writing one. you can write about everything and express your emotions without of fear of being mocked. 
you may also try to write a book or a story, that way, you can forget about everything bad in your life and disappear in another world. 
i also sometimes to fall asleep and never wake up, but if that happens, who will finish my book and publish it? 

those are the best advices i can tell you, but if there's something else bothering you, or you just want to talk with someone, feel free to send me a private message.


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