# Social Anxiety overcomed, need help.



## Empty7 (May 22, 2013)

I have managed to overcome social anxiety but there are still a few things that are not quite normal with me. It has nothing to do with people but with myself, there are a few things not quite right with me, for example I'm afraid of change (about myself) which is not something quite right, I'm afraid I would make social anxiety again (doesn't logicaly makes sense but I am), I don't know who I am anymore or who I want to be. I don't know what this is, maybe a post traumatic stress or a splinter left from SA. I need some help so if there is any profresional psychologist in SA or somebody knows where to find one online please help.


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## Dalmat (May 5, 2013)

I think I know that feeling, or something like that. Since I am getting better, some of my fears are just replaced with emptiness. That's right, I no longer know who I am and what I want.

Maybe because we never lived a normal life, and now when we have the opportunity, we don't know how to do that.


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## Empty7 (May 22, 2013)

Yeah, I think you're right, we've achived the goal we wanted and now we're like "and now what ?", I'll just let things happen by themselves.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

I have this feeling too. I haven't completely overcome social anxiety, but it has reduced a lot.
I also have this feeling that I'm not sure who I am. This anxiety was so big part of my life. I let it controle everything.


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## Dalmat (May 5, 2013)

Now I want to be outside all day and do all the things I couldn't do before, but i still don't know which things. I am still not confident enough to meet new people.

So, i got rid of some of my fears, but they still aren't replaced by something positive.


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## oscine (Sep 22, 2013)

Empty7 said:


> I have managed to overcome social anxiety but there are still a few things that are not quite normal with me. It has nothing to do with people but with myself, there are a few things not quite right with me, for example I'm afraid of change (about myself) which is not something quite right, I'm afraid I would make social anxiety again (doesn't logicaly makes sense but I am), I don't know who I am anymore or who I want to be. I don't know what this is, maybe a post traumatic stress or a splinter left from SA. I need some help so if there is any profresional psychologist in SA or somebody knows where to find one online please help.


There is nothing wrong with feeling anxious in social situations unless it is paralyzing. What is it you are trying to overcome? Are you afraid the change you made in yourself in an attempt to overcome your social anxiety is pretentious?


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## oscine (Sep 22, 2013)

oscine said:


> There is nothing wrong with feeling anxious in social situations unless it is paralyzing. What is it you are trying to overcome? Are you afraid the change you made in yourself in an attempt to overcome your social anxiety is pretentious?


Sorry, scratch the last word (pretentious). I meant to say superficial. I am speculating that your attempt to change yourself in order to overcome your social anxiety came at the expense of behaving in a fashion superficial to you and perhaps you're afraid you may not be able to continue in the same fashion?


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## TeenyBeany (Sep 3, 2008)

Empty7 said:


> I have managed to overcome social anxiety but there are still a few things that are not quite normal with me. It has nothing to do with people but with myself, there are a few things not quite right with me, for example I'm afraid of change (about myself) which is not something quite right, I'm afraid I would make social anxiety again (doesn't logicaly makes sense but I am), I don't know who I am anymore or who I want to be. I don't know what this is, maybe a post traumatic stress or a splinter left from SA. I need some help so if there is any profresional psychologist in SA or somebody knows where to find one online please help.


Well, first of all, congrats times 100! What an accomplishment! So proud of you  
Now, what do you constitute as "normal?" People who dont have SA can be very much afraid of change, and that's ok. Look, fold your arms... did you do it? ok, now, fold them the other way... yes, in the opposite direction. Weird? A majority of people feel "awkward" with change. It just takes time to adjust to change. I dont believe it's PTSD... I think you hit the nail on the head with your comment below:



Empty7 said:


> Yeah, I think you're right, we've achived the goal we wanted and now we're like "and now what ?", I'll just let things happen by themselves.


So now what? What do you want to do next? The world is at your fingertips  Start training for a triathalon, save up for a backpacking trip through a country, follow a band on tour, there are sooo many things you can do.


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## MikeinNirvana (Dec 2, 2012)

take a vacation? go to a place to find answers??


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## Empty7 (May 22, 2013)

TeenyBeany said:


> Well, first of all, congrats times 100! What an accomplishment! So proud of you
> Now, what do you constitute as "normal?" People who dont have SA can be very much afraid of change, and that's ok. Look, fold your arms... did you do it? ok, now, fold them the other way... yes, in the opposite direction. Weird? A majority of people feel "awkward" with change. It just takes time to adjust to change. I dont believe it's PTSD... I think you hit the nail on the head with your comment below:


Thanks, you changed my life, a few months back when I had social anxiety you were the one that told me about those CBT audio tapes , if there were more people helpful like you on this forum many people would overcome social anxiety. I constitute as "normal" people who know who they are, have are very well defined natural personality, and are not afraid of change.



TeenyBeany said:


> So now what? What do you want to do next? The world is at your fingertips  Start training for a triathalon, save up for a backpacking trip through a country, follow a band on tour, there are sooo many things you can do.


I think I want to take this to the next level. I want to gain confidence and develop personal boundries, to be a strong person like many leaders and succesful people, since I've overcomed social anxiety it's much more easier to gain confidence. I haven't became extremly confident but it's a very big difference compared to when I had social anxiety.


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## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

Once I get through the humps wd's I'll be smarter. It's hard to change when dumb and tired a lot. Stabilzaiton to creative (brain exploration) using all parts to sum. I read to understand culture because I hardly talk. I have been getting the personhood back!

The job gets me out of the web. It was catch-22 just like they said! To breathe.


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## TeenyBeany (Sep 3, 2008)

Empty7 said:


> *I constitute as "normal" people who know who they are, have are very well defined natural personality, and are not afraid of change.*
> 
> *I think I want to take this to the next level. I want to gain confidence and develop personal boundries, to be a strong person like many leaders and succesful people,* since I've overcomed social anxiety it's much more easier to gain confidence. I haven't became extremly confident but it's a very big difference compared to when I had social anxiety.


perfect


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## Empty7 (May 22, 2013)

Rufus said:


> Once I get through the humps wd's I'll be smarter. It's hard to change when dumb and tired a lot. Stabilzaiton to creative (brain exploration) using all parts to sum. I read to understand culture because I hardly talk. I have been getting the personhood back!
> 
> The job gets me out of the web. It was catch-22 just like they said! To breathe.


I think you're posting on the wrong topic.....


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## Psi (Mar 3, 2013)

Hey Empty7,

It sounds like you may have a hard time finding something positive in yourself. You talk about how you're not quite right or normal, as if you were somehow flawed or bad. These feelings usually come from early experiences of not feeling appreciated or not having had that positive attention and praise that we all need. Having had negative attention, criticism or judgment affects your self-image negatively and for a long time.

I think it's great that you truly, deeply want to overcome this and get better, but no one can do it alone. Have you yet seen a therapist for this? It would be great if you could get some emotional support face to face.


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## Empty7 (May 22, 2013)

oscine said:


> Sorry, scratch the last word (pretentious). I meant to say superficial. I am speculating that your attempt to change yourself in order to overcome your social anxiety came at the expense of behaving in a fashion superficial to you and perhaps you're afraid you may not be able to continue in the same fashion?


Not at all, I've overcommed my social anxiety, not faked that I've overcommed it.

I mean that I'm afraid to change as a person, don't know why through...



Dalmat said:


> Now I want to be outside all day and do all the things I couldn't do before, but i still don't know which things. I am still not confident enough to meet new people, at this moment I consider my confidence a little below average.
> 
> So, i got rid of some of my fears, but they still aren't replaced by something positive.


I know what you mean, after you overcome social anxiety, you have to start from 0 with confidence and all because the SA ate all your confidence. Now I have 5 times more confidence than then when I overcommed social anxiety and 100 times more confidence than when I had social anxiety, and I still don't think I have enough.

@aeriex83: My problem is rather in my mind than in my heart, relaxing won't solve anything but it's still great, thanks.


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