# Turning my life around



## flamingwind (Jan 1, 2013)

I know on what I should focus on, but I don't really know how to make it work.

Thinking more positively: Probably my biggest problem, I think negatively about so many things (some with reason others not). I simply feel paranoid about everything. I keep seeing myself dying in the bus, in the subway, at school even in my room in front of the computer... this has to stop. It's either I don't care or I hate it, there is just not enough positivity in my life.

Leaving the computer alone: I'm sure many of you can relate to this one. This one seem impossible to beat. I do have other things to do, yet I can't detach myself from the screen. I would love to draw more often, maybe even learn an instrument, nope computer computer and computer.

Exercise: I'm really lazy, I don't know if it's the staying on the computer that does that or not, but I don't do enough exercise at all. Funny how I used to have a six pack back in the days now I have a six pack in front of a belly. For years when I look outside I see two asian girls walking around the park. It doesn't matter if it's - 20 ( celsius) snowing, rainning or a nice day they are always walking. While me I have a home gym yet I rarely use it ( well I'm injured anyways, but that's still not much of an excuse since working out would help me a lot.) 

So those are three things I need to focus the most, though I have no clue how. I tried a few times before, but after a few days it's back to the same old stuff


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## Gavroche (Jan 12, 2013)

It's good you are setting goals, I have similar ones myself. Sometimes when making lifestyle changes it is helpful to make one big radical change first to set the tone and get yourself in the right mindset.


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## flamingwind (Jan 1, 2013)

Gavroche said:


> It's good you are setting goals, I have similar ones myself. Sometimes when making lifestyle changes it is helpful to make one big radical change first to set the tone and get yourself in the right mindset.


Getting into the right mindset is a big issue for me. I always think too negatively


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## OneTooMany (Jan 24, 2013)

Here, this video series is really helpful for goals:


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

Me too! I'm turning my life around.

Every new day is another chance to turn your life around.

My biggest problem is my sleeping pattern. I sleep too late and wake up late and tired and rushing like a madman every single morning. 

I want to wake up at 5am and go to the gym before going to work like those type A people. 

I want to start a project that I believe in.

I need to look for another job. I have no hope of promotion here.


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## flamingwind (Jan 1, 2013)

OneTooMany said:


> Here, this video series is really helpful for goals:


I watch/ heard both part and it was purely amazing. Seriously this guy knew what the hell he was talking about. I'm preparing myself as we speak to change a few things


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## flamingwind (Jan 1, 2013)

I spend far too much time acting like the victim and feeling sorry for myself and complain. I know I can't change overnight, but I'm working on it NOW


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

All 3 of those things help a great deal. It's hard to stay committed to pulling your self out of an SA rut when you feel as if some unknown force is constantly trying to push you back into it. Once you start making progress though, you will feel like you have a whole new outlook on life and you won't realize just how bad your negative thinking was until you start to unravel it.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

ThatOneQuietGuy said:


> All 3 of those things help a great deal. It's hard to stay committed to pulling your self out of an SA rut when you feel as if some unknown force is constantly trying to push you back into it. Once you start making progress though, you will feel like you have a whole new outlook on life and you won't realize just how bad your negative thinking was until you start to unravel it.


 ^This is true.....and when that happens, it's like a level of issues that we still have to get through, but an interesting one.

....."how could I think that way about that......and react to it the way I did" self-guilt trip. Stuff like that comes up for a while, too.


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## flamingwind (Jan 1, 2013)

well so far I made some improvement in the thinking positively part. I reduce my complaining and my mood has improved a little bit. I'm also trying to stop junk food all together. So far it's been 3 days. 

Also it seems like winter is dying little by little so soon it's back to biking


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## MikeinNirvana (Dec 2, 2012)

flamingwind said:


> well so far I made some improvement in the thinking positively part. I reduce my complaining and my mood has improved a little bit. I'm also trying to stop junk food all together. So far it's been 3 days.
> 
> Also it seems like winter is dying little by little so soon it's back to biking


Yep get all the tools you can all the good advice out there to pull yourself out.
I also was thinking like you the past years, It was always end up in a thought, best thing is up ahead the more you think in the bright side of life the better things will go, that's the reason why they tell us think positive.
Now there would be times where we think negative but won't be the same anymore right?

I go to meetup.com to find social activity around my area, it's a very good tool to meet others and be a bit more social depending the circle of your interest.
I also take classes online cousera.org this is a good site where you can take free online classes, it's very good. Good luck!


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## Germs (Oct 19, 2012)

Dude you sound exactly like me. I am a 25 year old male..constantly sitting on the computer, wasting my time on useless forums, dreaming about random **** and feeling down. Only until recently I had the courage to go to the gym, but stuck doing the same exercises and I get lazy a lot of the time, most of the time after work I come home and just sit on the computer and waste hours until it's time to bed. And don't get me started on weekends. 

I'm currently trying to stick to a routine , trying to hit gym up around after work ( even though I hate it because it's the most busiest time ) ..come home, rest for a bit, jog around dinner, come home have dinner, then bum around a bit for a little while..maybe play some guitar or draw or use the computer..whatever. Then prepare for tomorrow...shower, make lunch etc.

I think the key is to keep busy, if you keeping preoccupied you simply don't have time to think about how **** this is..or how other people have it better or whatever thoughts you have. I've failed in the past with trying to keep up running and gym but right now I'm trying to stick to a routine which I've never attempted because ultimately my goal is to be fit enough to enroll in some wrestling or boxing classes, to purse a new interest or hobbie because it's something I've always been interested in but never had to fitness level or courage to do. But yeah, if you're having a hard time getting motivated, come up with a routine and stick with it, eventually it might just be programmed into you.

I'm the most negative person you'd ever meet, according to me everything sucks. But I find I'm less negative during the week, when I have things to concentrate on and when I'm forced to be around other people. I find during the weekends, spending nights alone on the computer or watching movies is when I'm at my peak of feeling depressed...sorry for the rant but hopefully you might be able to get something out of this.


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## Streiche (Feb 22, 2013)

I'm am in the difficult but very possible process of turning my life around too. I have everything planned out sort of. I've started a blog here on SAS and I'm am setting daily and weekly goals for myself. I choose very difficult stressful goals and then force myself to complete them no matter how much anxiety they cause. I will continue this until I feel that I am able to be more and more social with less and less anxiety. I am going to go to UD to become an engineer and after college I will move so far away I never have to see another person from my old life again. This could be soon because even though my blogs haven't started I've already noticed progress I've been making from these goals before. It is good that you are setting yourself some goals but the key to overcoming SA isn't some special knowledge or skill, it's something anyone who wants it bad enough can have. The key to overcoming social anxiety is having optimism, perseverance, and courage. These three things combined with the goal method is the way to become normal. Most people with SA(including myself) lack the courage to overcome their SA. You seem to lack not only the necessary courage but also the optimism and perseverance.


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## Alluring prince (Apr 1, 2011)

On changing habits, I can personally vouch for this: http://tinyhabits.com/
He has an article going into some detail that I wasn't able to find, I'm guessing that the page or link is presented in the sign-up process, but I'll paste the notes I wrote/copied (quotation marks insinuate copied text):


> Ø "Simplicity changes behavior."
> 
> Ø Use an "anchor" as a lead-in to the new habit, usually an existing habit; only resort to artificial reminders like a note or alarm if absolutely necessary.
> 
> ...





flamingwind said:


> Getting into the right mindset is a big issue for me. I always think too negatively


I've read and experienced that baby steps are normally the best way to accomplish a big change, but that starting with a big step at the outset can work if I'm really focused on it. I mean, where you're thinking about it every couple hours or less kind of focus.



AngelClare said:


> My biggest problem is my sleeping pattern. I sleep too late and wake up late and tired and rushing like a madman every single morning.
> I want to wake up at 5am and go to the gym before going to work like those type A people.


I was a late sleeper, late riser for years. It took me a while to overcome it to a large degree. On top of what I've said above, I would add to avoid exciting activity and do boring and/or sedative tasks. In fact, you can kill two birds with one stone by doing important tasks in this time that you otherwise find to be boring/sedative.



flamingwind said:


> I'm also trying to stop junk food all together. So far it's been 3 days.


If you're like me in that you've had a lot of junkfood over your life and you're just now trying this, it's a good bet that you're going to crash. If you have a really compelling reason to quit junkfood, staying sternly focused on it at the exclusion of most other big goals can work. Otherwise, see above and good luck.

Congrats to all of you who've make successive steps in bettering yourselves. I have my own problems myself I'm working on


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