# Why do I feel more comfortable approaching guys than I do girls?



## niacin (May 26, 2012)

I'm an 18 year old girl and I rarely have anxiety when asking guys for directions around campus (I'm new), but I get a bit more nervous when asking girls. 

The weird thing is, for all of my life, my friends have all been female. 

I guess that, to me, boys seem more open and relaxed than a lot of girls.

For example, some girls (and oddly enough, quite a few of the more flamboyantly gay guys on my campus) act really stand off-ish towards me when I casually ask them something or make conversation. I don't say anything weird. Yet if one of the girls sees that I am friends with one of their friends (this happened the other day) they warm up to me more. They just seem cliquey I suppose.

Yeah I know, you could say that males could be sexually attracted, but I don't think that is what's happening here. They just seem more approachable in general. Even the ones with girlfriends.

Why is that? If not a fact, why do I see it this way?


Edit: On the other hand, I get SO nervous when interacting with guys whom I have crushes on. I choke on my words and get all flustered and blush.


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## sorrwel (May 20, 2012)

Hm, I'm not entirely sure, but I know the situation's similar for me too. I'll most likely go up to a guy to ask for directions rather than a girl, as they usually seem like they'd be a bit more eager to help. I think guys just tend to have a reputation for being more laid back and less judgmental.


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

Hormones.


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## Stilla (May 13, 2009)

Totally get what you mean. When I was younger I found it was more the opposite, guys would be the more stand offish and girls would be nicer, but as I've gotten older it's suddenly the opposite. I think maybe because a lot of girls are catty and more judgmental? Not everyone of course though.


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## rtoledo (Sep 24, 2012)

I'm looking for help to understand this same situation with my 20yr old stepdaughter. She is also more comfortable with guys and is currently hanging out with a group of guys. I do believe that she see's that guys are more accepting and not judgemental like girls/women. But this is causing a problems because she see's herself as a "group" member and follows their not so great choices/examples like tatoos and piercings. Also her manner of dress is of big concern. We have met some of her "girl" friends and they do not dress like her and do not follow the tattoo and piercing "scene". 

Her father and I want to understand where this is coming from. So that her "lifestyle" choices are easier for us to accept.:afr


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## Wurli (Sep 15, 2012)

Honestly I think its because guys in general want to interact with girls. In the back of their minds they think that they have a chance with you, no matter how brief the interaction. Its just how we think. This is why other girls and gay guys aren't as eager to help. They're not interested.


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## OriginalUserName (Mar 4, 2012)

Wurli said:


> Honestly I think its because guys in general want to interact with girls. In the back of their minds they think that they have a chance with you, no matter how brief the interaction. Its just how we think. This is why other girls and gay guys aren't as eager to help. They're not interested.


Ye i agree with some of this.

I think there is an element of competition/comparison when talking to people of same sex. I find it easier to talk to girls because of this. I feel i compare myself to other guys so feel inadequate sometimes, but when talking to girls i don't have to compare myself, so i feel more relaxed.

Plus as said above, guys, straight or gay, tend to crave attention from girls even if there is no attraction between you, so they'll be more accepting towards you than girls.


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## Yabiwaz (Sep 28, 2012)

I think it's because guys also tend to enjoy helping others more. They like the idea that they rescued someone... if that makes any sense? I know girls are more caring in nature but from being a student nurse I can tell you straight off the bat that they're caring for patients but the same caring student nurses turn into evil, two-faced liars off the wards.


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