# Addicted to sex



## Tania (Jan 8, 2005)

This doesn't exactly have much to do with SA but it really affects my self-esteem and what I think I'm "worth"...

I think I am addicted to sex... I swear I need it every day and if my husband is too tired I'll feel rejected and it's not a pretty sight. The sex addiction is not so bad, but it's the feeling I get when I need it and don't get it... like my self-esteem takes a huge nose-dive and I just feel miserable and unattractive and so on. And I get so mad! It's scary!

I really base my self-worth on my appearance. Because a lot of the time I feel that is the only thing I've got. That is so bad. :sigh 

~Tania


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## ShesKrayZ (May 9, 2006)

Some meds can really amp up your sex drive..


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## 13times (Dec 24, 2004)

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## Tania (Jan 8, 2005)

When I was on Effexor I couldn't orgasm at all, unless I had my vibrator! I'm off meds now tho, so meds are not part of the problem...


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## Sabrina (Nov 22, 2005)

I'm addicted to watching porn....and always thinking about or wanting to have sex. Is this natural for a virgin? :hide I don't know whats wrong with me. Maybe porn helps me release all of my sexual feelings. I never had a man because of all my issues. I really want one but the whole relationship thing scares the crap outta me. I'm scared of being hurt. I had a male friend when i was in high school. He wanted to be my boyfriend but i just kept pushing him away. We don't even speak anymore. It is going to take an hellavah man to break down my wall(get your mind out the gutter) and all my defenses. I walk with an invisible sheild on :lol

I am dying to have sex though, just can't trust or let anybody in(no pun intended)  I wake up every morning horny...why? :con I have a feeling that when i do have sex for the 1st time, imma start wanting it every minute. I'm a cancer, we are very sexual and sexy people. I just feel it running threw my veins. I'm about to explode. I also feel that i mit be bi-sexual. I love men more though. Lately i've been watching alot of porn by Belladonna :hide

*Tintich* i envy you. You have a husband. I can't even get a boyfriend. Your SA must not be as bad as mine i guess.


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## Farren (Jan 5, 2006)

tintich said:


> This doesn't exactly have much to do with SA but it really affects my self-esteem and what I think I'm "worth"...
> 
> I think I am addicted to sex... I swear I need it every day and if my husband is too tired I'll feel rejected and it's not a pretty sight. The sex addiction is not so bad, but it's the feeling I get when I need it and don't get it... like my self-esteem takes a huge nose-dive and I just feel miserable and unattractive and so on. And I get so mad! It's scary!
> 
> ...


First of all, realize you are more than a pretty face, and your husband knows this as well. Is the "addiction" really about the sex, or is about another issue, such as control, pleasing, reassurance, or the basic need for intimacy?

I know how you feel though. I experienced a short phase when I was first married where whenever my husband wasn't "in the mood" - even if I was not particularly desiring sex either - I would get inordinately upset and depressed. I think I was just feeling very lonely and connecting in this way proved that I was desirable and wanted. Also if he was tired or distracted and didn't want to engage in sex, I allowed myself to feel rejected and hurt.

Maybe you should try and talk to your husband about what sex means to the both of you, what factors play into one's sex drive (lack of sleep, stress, etc.), and what other ways you have to communicate your love for each other. I would recommend a good book called _Sensual Sex_ by beverly Engel. This helped us a lot as we calibrated our sexual needs to one another.

Good luck, I hope this was helpful!


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## GaryUranga (Apr 22, 2006)

@sabrina, you realize that most guys are liek the horniest things alive?  if a guy wnats sex is much harder for him to ge it while with a girl doesnt seem as hard, Im really confused right now  not used to see this.


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## Tania (Jan 8, 2005)

Farren,

For the most part I can realize I'm more than a pretty face! But it's just the rejection part I guess. You're right, the addiction isn't about sex per se, but maybe what you mentioned about reassurance. I need CONSTANT reassurance, and not just about sex, it's with everything. 
My husband does know about how I feel about sex, or rather the rejection I feel when I show interest and he does not. Mind you, I am younger (23) and he is 37... and when I really think about it, his sex drive is quite healthy... however he can't keep up with me when I want it almost every day!

(I wonder if this thread should be moved to "relationships"?)


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## Tania (Jan 8, 2005)

Ugh, I can't believe I'm actually sharing this information with everyone!! I guess talking about my SA (which is a pretty embarrasing secret) makes me a little more apt to tell everything else too!
Um, can someone please move this out of "secondary disorders", when I first posted I thought of it as a sexual disorder but now I reconsider!


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## orpheus (Nov 16, 2003)

women should not be ashamed abot hypersexuality. in fact, we need more of your kind out there! Then you'd be no different than men!


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## tewstroke (Feb 18, 2006)

me too. :hide


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## GaryUranga (Apr 22, 2006)

:lol dont be embarrased, its not like guys arent like this too, seriously its just hormones, nothign wrong with you.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

ShesKrayZ said:


> Some meds can really amp up your sex drive..


For some reason I've never gotten any of those meds.


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## ShesKrayZ (May 9, 2006)

> @sabrina, you realize that most guys are liek the horniest things alive? if a guy wnats sex is much harder for him to ge it while with a girl doesnt seem as hard, Im really confused right now not used to see this.





orpheus said:


> women should not be ashamed abot hypersexuality. in fact, we need more of your kind out there! Then you'd be no different than men!


Men are so naive sometimes...it's kinda cute...  
Women can not be like men because from a female's perspective there is a lot more at risk in an interaction with a man than the other way around. There is risk of pregnancy, emotional hurt, ugly gossip, damage to reputation (standing in the community), becoming a rape victim, or worse. There are very few violent crimes commited by women but lots of them committed against women. Most women are serial monogamists but men will accuse any women who was too "easy" of being a ****, and that label alone will have a negative impact on a woman's life. It's not fair but that's the way it is.


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## BornLoser (Jul 11, 2006)

I masturbate all the time, I cant stop and it has been this way for the past 10 years...


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## VelvetElvis (Apr 29, 2006)

It's possible to be a sex _thought_ addict without ever having had anything close to sexual intercourse, right? Because lately it's 50% of what's going on in my head, and I've (obviously) never dated anyone or done the deed, so I really have no clue what's it actually feels like. It's like I'm 13 again, which really sucks, as being 13 is one of the crappiest parts of everyone's life.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

CFLGirl7 said:


> This doesn't exactly have much to do with SA but it really affects my self-esteem and what I think I'm "worth"...
> 
> I think I am addicted to sex... I swear I need it every day and if my husband is too tired I'll feel rejected and it's not a pretty sight. The sex addiction is not so bad, but it's the feeling I get when I need it and don't get it... like my self-esteem takes a huge nose-dive and I just feel miserable and unattractive and so on. And I get so mad! It's scary!
> 
> ...


I'm pretty sure that most guys would be in heaven if it was everyday. It's funny that your husband is saying he's too tired. I always thought it was the woman that says this.

I don't think you are addicted to the physical side of sex as much as the emotional connection and feeling of being of great worth to someone. Somehow you have to break the mental connection of attributing a day without sex as a sign of having little worth. I realize this is probably harder for people with SA as SA is a mental thought pattern that triggers an unwanted physiological reaction.


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## tewstroke (Feb 18, 2006)

Men are so naive sometimes...it's kinda cute...  
Women can not be like men because from a female's perspective there is a lot more at risk in an interaction with a man than the other way around. There is risk of pregnancy, emotional hurt, ugly gossip, damage to reputation (standing in the community), becoming a rape victim, or worse. There are very few violent crimes commited by women but lots of them committed against women. Most women are serial monogamists but men will accuse any women who was too "easy" of being a ****, and that label alone will have a negative impact on a woman's life. It's not fair but that's the way it is.[/quote]

That sucks. I say forget about it.


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

This seems like role reversal. So many guys want sex from their wives everyday and getting rejected (I'm too tired bit) or even worse getting cut off from sex all together. Sex everday if you are young sounds relatively normal to me, I think there is something wrong with your husband not you.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

> Men are so naive sometimes...it's kinda cute... Wink
> Women can not be like men because from a female's perspective there is a lot more at risk in an interaction with a man than the other way around. There is risk of pregnancy, emotional hurt, ugly gossip, damage to reputation (standing in the community), becoming a rape victim, or worse. There are very few violent crimes commited by women but lots of them committed against women. Most women are serial monogamists but men will accuse any women who was too "easy" of being a ****, and that label alone will have a negative impact on a woman's life. It's not fair but that's the way it is.


So what your saying is married women no longer have this fear and want it quite often?


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