# First kiss...?



## Shoeless (Aug 30, 2007)

Okay. So last night we made it so we're "officially" going out. IE, I can refer to him as my boyfriend now. 

Anyway, I've been hanging out with this guy at least two or three times a week for the past... five weeks, let's say. He's had his arm around me, we've held hands, I've had my head on his shoulder, numerous hugs... but we still haven't kissed. 

This is my first "relationship". Ever. We saw each other today for... four or so hours. Just kinda sat around at the mall for a while and talked, and played some pool in the last hour. 

We're both pretty shy people, though I'm obviously a little more to the, er, "extreme" side of the spectrum. But it's kind of weird -- I've always had to ask if he wants to do something, and he's always been the one to initiate the small amount of physical contact there has been. So it seems like he should be the one to kiss me. It still hasn't happened. It's all going pretty slowly which is probably a good thing, but... I dunno, it seems a little too slow at times. 

Not only that, but I don't know how to kiss. I mean, I've just never done it before. He's only had one girlfriend in the past, but at least he's still kissed someone before. I haven't. I'm nervous as hell. I mean, I really don't want to be bad at it or anything. 

So basically what I'm asking is, how will I know when I'm about to be kissed? What am I supposed to do? Just any advice you can give me would be great.

Thanks.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

Well my first kiss was with some random drunk girl at a St. Patty's Day party in Savannah, lol. Real classy that was, ahaha. I think you'll know. You'll be talking to each other and there will be a moment when you'll just look into each others eyes and not take them away. Then, you or him will move in and kiss. I think it's kind of cute that you two are kind of learning off each other you know.


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## Zen Mechanics (Aug 3, 2007)

this guy is your boyfriend and you haven't even kissed him yet? get in there!


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

Oh to be young again... and actually have those experiences.. that would have been nice. Don't feel like you have to rush into things. When the time is right, you'll get there. Being 14 and not having kissed someone yet is pretty normal. Being 24, however...


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

Well if you want him to initiate... you got to be as inviting as possible. Make up some excuse and get as physically close as you can to him. Seduce him at point blank range. He should go for it.
Remember to smile too. 

Or you could just ask to kiss him, but that's not as fun.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Wow I'm shocked at your patience! I think most women would have cut and run thinking he is too much of a prude. How old is he? Maybe he hasn't had his first kiss yet so he is a little nervous about initiating it?


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## luciano (Jun 3, 2004)

Well if he is the one initiating all the physical contact he may think you're not ready to kiss yet. Show him you are ready by initiating some contact. A kiss isn't one person kissing another it is a shared experienced between two people and it is acceptable for either person to move in for the kiss. I think its just you both are shy, he may be a little more shy than you think and just unsure you are ready for it. I remember my first kiss was with my gf, we were sitting in my car and I knew she wanted to be kissed, I was just really shy. She was sitting right beside me but mentally it felt like she was standing on the other side of the road. She ended up making the first move and spearing me. lol


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## JTenn (Jan 2, 2008)

Good advice, don't EVER kiss someone just for the sake of being kissed. It's gross.


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## TheGecko (Nov 26, 2007)

LostInReverie said:


> Being 14 and not having kissed someone yet is pretty normal. Being 24, however...


This is true, I feel like such a loser :sigh


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## X33 (Feb 13, 2005)

scairy said:


> Wow I'm shocked at your patience! *I think most women would have cut and run thinking he is too much of a prude.* How old is he? Maybe he hasn't had his first kiss yet so he is a little nervous about initiating it?


geez I hope that's not the case with most women. Someone here said (I think, Ardum), that kissing is like swapping spit. Not everyone is into it.


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## Zen Mechanics (Aug 3, 2007)

^ maybe you haven't kissed someone who is good at kissing yet. though the ones bad at it are kind of like swapping spit


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

ag said:


> scairy said:
> 
> 
> > Wow I'm shocked at your patience! *I think most women would have cut and run thinking he is too much of a prude.* How old is he? Maybe he hasn't had his first kiss yet so he is a little nervous about initiating it?
> ...


Going out for 4 or 5 weeks is a longtime to go with no kissing. 
Swapping spit; that could be a good sign. Maybe they're drooling over your attractiveness :lol


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

a good way to a kiss is when the night is over, ask for a good nite kiss.


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## quietgal (Oct 18, 2007)

Maybe try maneuver yourself into a "kissing position??" Like when you're sitting close together somewhere private. You're leaning on his shoulder or whatever, maybe kind of look up at him...well chances are he'll sort of look into your eyes...if you don't look away quickly then he might lean in. And then he'll probably close his eyes. And then you close your eyes...and you touch lips, and that's really all there is to it. you don't have to be too aggressive, like in the movies when they're like eating each other's face - yeah don't do that. It might take a little practice before it becomes enjoyable, but it's worth it imo.


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

hmm, if you're sitting close to him, put your hand on his face or head and lightly pull him towards you and move your head in, close eyes, then lips-to-lips.


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## Shoeless (Aug 30, 2007)

He's about three years older than I am. (I'm turning fifteen in April, he just recently turned eighteen.) I thought I mentioned it in the first post, but he's had one girlfriend before me and, yeah, he's kissed her. So he does have practice. I don't.

And I'll try the "kissing position" thing next time we're together... it's going to be so awkward. :b But thanks for all the advice. I'll try to remember it. But chances are my mind will go blank as soon as I'm in the situation. Oh well.


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## joel05 (Mar 7, 2008)

LostInReverie said:


> Being 14 and not having kissed someone yet is pretty normal. Being 24, however...


26 here, what do I win? or anyone care to raise the bar? :lol


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## youfailme (Mar 7, 2008)

i know its nerve racking, but when the time comes it will just happen.

dont worry too much!


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## Shoeless (Aug 30, 2007)

Aaah. It happened tonight.

It was so... weird.

Okay, we saw a movie. 10000 BC. (Terribly hilarious movie by the way, but that's irrelevant.) In the theatre the entire time we were very close... my head on his shoulder, his arm around my waist, his other hand rubbing my right arm, his head resting on mine. It was nice. 

So after the movie we sit and watch all the credits. Last to leave the theatre. He drives me home.

Walks me to my door, like he does every time. Usually we just hug and he leaves. This time, we hug (I almost fall over again but that's irrelevant) and he kinda stays around... and damn, it's just so AWKWARD. We're talking about how the human race is getting stupider or about chicken or something, I don't know, it was relevant to our previous conversation. My heart is pounding in my chest -- has been the entire ride home really -- and at some point there's an awkward silence and I guess he just goes for the kill. 

It's really really quick. Like, less than a second quick. And he kinda got the side of my mouth more than anything. I can't remember if I actually closed my eyes or not -- I think I did, I really hope I did, because not doing so would've been reeeaaalllly awkward. And after it we just go straight into another hug and say goodnight. He leaves.

It was really weird. I'm not sure what to make of it. I mean... I'm happy, I really am. But it feels like it should've lasted longer or something. Y'know?

Eeeeh, I dunno.

I'm glad it happened though. 

And thanks for all of your advice and support guys. It didn't actually help at all in the actual moment because my mind just went blank, but y'know. I appreciate it anyway.


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## Zen Mechanics (Aug 3, 2007)

you should send some txt sayin 'thanks for the night, and the kiss. hope to get more' or somethin. acknowledge it happened so it becomes more natural for you guys.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

Congrats on getting your first kiss. He was probably just as nervous as you getting enough courage to do it. Next time you should go in a little and start the kiss and it might help him out, so it will be more memorable.


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

aw. all first kisses are awkward so don't worry about that, it gets much easier afterwards.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

What counts as a first kiss? Does it have to be lips to lips?


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## luciano (Jun 3, 2004)

yes


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## quietgal (Oct 18, 2007)

yay!! How exciting! it's a little awkward at first but as long as you have good feelings about the guy, that's really all that matters in the long run.


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

joel05 said:


> LostInReverie said:
> 
> 
> > Being 14 and not having kissed someone yet is pretty normal. Being 24, however...
> ...


I'm 26 too, here I'll kiss you :kiss :cuddle

There, now we both don't have to feel ashamed anymore. :lol


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## ahmerw007 (Feb 11, 2008)

Well my first kiss was in a truth or dare type party when i was 12 or 13, a group of girls invited all the guys they liked, lucky me, i was invited, i ended up kissing my ex first who just happened to be best friend of the girl that liked me than, than i kissed the girl that invited me, although it wasn't the french style, no makeout sessions for me, and that was the last time i ever kissed anyone, its been 6-7 years, now im afraid if i ever do get a shot of doing it again, the lucky (or unlucky) girl will think im some sort of wierdo for not knowing how to kiss like an adult and never talk to me again.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

my first kiss was when i was 18 with my first gf, it was a kiss goodbye


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## dave :o (Jan 14, 2008)

my first kiss lol, bottle of vodka = a whole different me


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## SadRosesAreBeautiful (May 15, 2008)

ahmerw007 said:


> Well my first kiss was in a truth or dare type party when i was 12 or 13, a group of girls invited all the guys they liked, lucky me, i was invited, i ended up kissing my ex first who just happened to be best friend of the girl that liked me than, than i kissed the girl that invited me, although it wasn't the french style, no makeout sessions for me, and that was the last time i ever kissed anyone, its been 6-7 years, now im afraid if i ever do get a shot of doing it again, the lucky (or unlucky) girl will think im some sort of wierdo for not knowing how to kiss like an adult and never talk to me again.


 :kiss Hmmmm, you're a good kisser! Hehehe...

No, don't feel bad. I've never even been kissed so I will probably absolutely suck at it! ops


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## spinal97 (May 11, 2008)

GordonGecko said:


> LostInReverie said:
> 
> 
> > Being 14 and not having kissed someone yet is pretty normal. Being 24, however...
> ...


 :ditto The closest I ever came was a kiss on the cheek, but it was more of a hello kiss. She was cute too. But I've never had a first kiss. I want one too so bad before I get too much older. My younger brother got one and he's 9 years younger than me. Talk about embarrassing.


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## Argamemnon (May 3, 2008)

LostInReverie said:


> Being 14 and not having kissed someone yet is pretty normal. Being 24, however...


I so wish I was 24: I'm almost 32, and have never touched a woman


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## BeautifulSorta (May 2, 2008)

In drunkeness. Well, guess it was more of a snog really, but still it's a kiss right?


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## markx (Dec 22, 2007)

Argamemnon said:


> I'm almost 32, and have never touched a woman


Ditto - unless "accidentally" touching a cashier's hand counts?

The closest that I ever came to a first kiss was when we used to play "kiss chase" at junior school but I was just too fast for 'em. Maybe they just weren't trying hard enough..? :stu


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## endtroducing (Jan 6, 2008)

This thread makes me want to have a first kiss all over again. Congrats! And it was probably not as awkward as you thought it was.


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## SadRosesAreBeautiful (May 15, 2008)

spinal97 said:


> My younger brother got one and he's 9 years younger than me. Talk about embarrassing.


Yeah, my sister is about 8 years younger than me and she has already had her first kiss, so I feel like a total dufus I guess you could say.


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## shyman1918 (Apr 28, 2008)

I've never been kissed, hell, the closest I've ever been to a woman is when I shook her hand upon meeting her. It's harsh, man.


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## yardsale (Mar 13, 2007)

AdrianG said:


> geez I hope that's not the case with most women. Someone here said (I think, Ardum), that kissing is like swapping spit. Not everyone is into it.


if youve never kissed anyone, you cant brush it off just as just 'swapping spit'. its like in a cartoon where your whole body turns red and your head explodes, that happens. Its like a latent built-in thing inside you that doesnt activate until you actually do kiss someone.


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## hypestyle (Nov 12, 2003)

heh... good luck with getting the kiss.. i'm still waiting on tickets to the game, let alone first base..


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

same here never tried to kiss a woman eventhough im 23. One guy I heard was 60 on this fourm and never had any intimacy meaning like holding hands or anything,


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## Darren (Jun 6, 2008)

I know its kind of sad but I've never had a kiss before. I've even had girls to actually like but I was just too nervous and too afraid to do anything. I've even had someone come up and hug me.


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## sno (May 27, 2008)

Never kissed anybody.


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## isis (Apr 30, 2008)

I'm 23 and haven't kissed anyone either. It saddens me.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

We need updates.


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## CandySays (Apr 6, 2008)

I was on my second cruise, about thirteen. It was awkward and took place in a very dark theatre...


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## Strategist (May 20, 2008)

quietgal said:


> Maybe try maneuver yourself into a "kissing position??" Like when you're sitting close together somewhere private. You're leaning on his shoulder or whatever, maybe kind of look up at him...well chances are he'll sort of look into your eyes...if you don't look away quickly then he might lean in. And then he'll probably close his eyes. And then you close your eyes...and you touch lips, and that's really all there is to it. you don't have to be too aggressive, like in the movies when they're like eating each other's face - yeah don't do that. It might take a little practice before it becomes enjoyable, but it's worth it imo.


So when would you kiss someone like in the movies? How does that work? I've never understood long, generally french, kisses.

My first kiss happened because a rather outgoing guy, who apparently liked me, found out that I was graduating high school having never been kissed. So he had a mission to get someone to kiss me or kiss me himself :lol Well he kissed me, a few times, but nothing was ever more than a second.

So who kisses for a long time? It doesn't make sense to me, that would be like swapping spit. The best part of kissing I think is just being that close to someone...it's really weird.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

I kiss my licking the boogers out of the girl's nostrils and feeding them too her with my tongue. The swapping of saliva and mucus brings me much satisfaction and a warm sense of bonding.


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