# Get a girlfriend before I'm 21



## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

*Get a girlfriend before I'm 21 (Update #1)*

OK, so I've been dealing with SA for a pretty long time now. Because of it I didn't have any real friends growing up, wasn't able to go to any parties and of course never had a girlfriend. For some reason I've been pissed off at my SA way more than usual. I don't know what changed, but I decided to fight against it. Don't know how it will go, but all of a sudden I've got this weird surge of self confidence. I used to have them before as well, but it would barely last for a day, now I've had self confidence for nearly a week.

I don't consider myself ugly anymore. I know I'm not hot. I think I probably fall in the average looking category. I'm not overweight. Actually I weigh about 145 lbs, which should probably be considered a little too light for a 5'10" guy. However, I plan to start going to a gym for the first time in my life from September. I used to have really bad acne, which definitely added into the reason why I had incredible SA in high school, but now my face is nearly all clear. Then I need to add the fact that I go to a university, go to language courses with other students, so meeting girls shouldn't be such a huge problem as if it would be if I was about 30. So looking at all these points, it should be possible for me to get a girlfriend until April, right?

I know it won't just happen if I simply sit in one place and don't do anything about it. I still don't know any real life examples when a girl approached another guy. It doesn't work that way. I've already tried a couple of times to smile towards cute girls I see walking down the street, and usually receive the same. If it was me about a week ago, I would think they're smiling because they're mocking me. Now I try to completely block all of these thoughts away. I used to think about everything way too much before doing anything. Like adding anyone on Facebook, messaging anyone, calling anyone, trying to talk to anyone. That's a really horrible thing to do.

For the past week I tried to do something completely opposite, just do whatever I think is best and not think about it. Some people might remember a thread I started when I first joined these forums: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f249/i-just-hate-myself-for-what-i-did-today-595953/ To sum up, I tried talking to a girl on a bus during a long road trip back home. I succeeded, we talked the whole way back, and that was a 30 hour long ride. However, I didn't get to know even her name or her phone number. I felt like complete s**t and a waste of a human being. After a week has passed, I realized what a big accomplishment I have made. Not only have I managed to start a conversation with a girl, which I'm usually incredibly afraid to do, but also managed to keep the conversation going for nearly 30 freaking hours, which has never ever happened before. Why couldn't I do that with every girl I've met in my life? Well because I used to think way too much about what she would think about if I said something, that I could ruin a relationship with one wrong word, despite of the fact that there was no relationship to begin with.

So all in all, I know this isn't a goal to achieve in a week, although I'd be pretty happy if I managed to do that, but I'm fighting against my SA. I've already wasted 20 years of my life to it and all I have to show for it is that I go to a somewhat prestigious university. No friends, no girlfriends, no parties, no having fun. My goal is to get a girlfriend before I'm 21, which will be in late March. My first test will come on this Friday, because that's when I'm flying back to my uni. I'll have to wait at an airport for about six hours, so I'll try to find a cute girl that is waiting there alone and strike up a conversation. No planning in advance for hours or days which I usually do, just go up to her and start talking about absolutely anything. I don't expect to get a girlfriend there, because she'll probably be flying to a completely different country, but at least practice more speaking to girls that I would actually be attracted to. It won't be easy, but dammit, I want a normal life! So I'll try to get a girlfriend before I'm 21, or die trying! This ones for all you people that have SA, I want to prove that it's possible to have a normal life despite having this horrible disorder!


----------



## Sky High (Aug 26, 2013)

Good for you man! Keep it up and post an update every now and then


----------



## wanderer13 (Jan 13, 2012)

You did not waste 20 years of your life. When you are over SA and look back in time, you'll see how useful these years were and what kind of lessons they taught you...you just cant see it yet.

It's great you have decided to take these steps, to me it sounds you are one the right path and you are doing very very good! I mean, judging from your words....you have grapsed the whole idea...and now there is no turning back even if you wanted to heh, its a matter of time before you are cured. Doesnt matter if it takes 6 months or 2 years, you have a whole awesome life ahead.


P.S. it is indeed super rare for a girl to approach a guy in the way a guy approaches a girl,aka straightforward. But very very very often a girl will make the first move, it's just gonna be a subtle one, one that prolly a person under sa wont reckognise. It just takes some practise and some progress to reckognise this!


----------



## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

*Update #1*

So I said I had a goal to talk to a cute girl while waiting at an airport this Friday. I've succeeded!

When I flew back to where I study, I had to change planes in Oslo and had to wait for 6 hours there. It was some small airport, so there weren't a lot of different places to go to and there weren't a lot of people. Whenever I'd see a cute girl I'd like to try and talk to, she'd almost always was with some other guy or surrounded by a bunch of her friends. There was this one girl that sat not too far from me, but she always had her headphones on and looked at her phone, so I didn't want to try and approach her, since she acted somewhat busy.

Then after about two hours of just sitting, trying to spot anyone I could possibly approach, I see this one girl sitting completely alone and bored, not listening to any music, not reading anything, basically just sitting like me. She was pretty far away and sat in a place where there were a bunch of people already. I thought to myself "damn, why did she have to sit in such a bad place, if she was somewhere else, I'd definitely try to talk to her!" Just as I thought of that she stood up and left. I was starting to lose all hope. After a few minutes I see her coming back and going to sit in a completely different place. This time it was a silent and completely empty row of seats. I gathered all of my courage, walked in a circle like an idiot, and went to her.

I said hi with a big smile and she replied the same way. Said that she looked really bored so I decided that she needed some company (smooth  ). When I asked where she was flying to, she said the exact same city as I was. When I asked her where she was flying from, she said the same exact same city I was flying from. That's when I stopped talking in English 

So I started asking about her, what she was going to do in Denmark, to which she replied that she goes to some sort of a music school for a few months. She was artsy, which is a big yes for me. Then we just talked about absolutely everything. She grew up in a really good family, which is a polar opposite from mine. She went to some sort of a music school her whole life where she learned to play the fortepiano. A girl that can play a serious instrument? Hell yes! Then I actually made her laugh quite a lot. F**k yeah!

So we spent the rest of the trip, which was over 6 hours, just hanging out, talking about nonsense and laughing. This time I actually didn't mess up and asked the girl's I was talking to name, although it was nearly 2 hours into us hanging out, but I did it in a spectacularly smooth way  I said "the last time I was on a trip and talked to a girl I forgot to ask her name, I don't want it to end the same way." She laughed at my joke and told her name. The bad thing is that she doesn't use Facebook, so I won't be able to add her there. She also was going to some school about 100 km away from where I live. Another bummer.

Other than that she was actually pretty cool. She was the first person I met in real life that actually said didn't drank any alcohol, which shocked me in a good way. It was her first time ever in Denmark, so since I've already lived there for over a year I decided to give her a little tour, asked if she needed any help finding the train, because she continuously said how she's afraid she will take the wrong one, and she accepted, really appreciated me offering that. It's not like we've fallen in love, no, I think we were just talking like simple friends, which is basically all I've wanted in this trip. Just get accustomed to talking with girls, because I was afraid of them like of the devil for my whole life for some reason.

Now the only thing that I regret not doing is asking for her phone number. I actually had a great chance to do so when buying a ticket for her for the train, could've said something like "give me your number, because I'd actually like to know if you found your way home safely". That phrase might sound a little weird, but we actually talked about how our mothers worry way too much about whether we're safe, so I could've said it in that context. However, that's not the worst that could've happened.

Anyway, my tip is to not overthink everything, which for people with SA is really tough. I remember when I was walking up to her, my legs were shaking and my head was screaming at me "what are you doing?" Just went in with a big smile and started talking, which is one of the hardest things to do for me. Did I get a girlfriend? No. Did I get a new friend? No, because I doubt I'll ever hear from her again, which is a shame. Am I proud of what I did yesterday? Hell yes. After two hours of waiting in Oslo I actually thought I will fail my goal, which probably would've just shot my huge confidence I have right now down significantly, but thank god for her. Not only did I spend my time having fun, but I also defeated one of my biggest fears.

Now my confidence is sky high. Today I'll try to go to a gym and get a membership. I've always wanted to work out, but was scared to try it out, because I'd have absolutely no idea what to do there. Usually when people go to a gym regularly they feel much better about themselves, which leads to higher confidence, which leads to much more chances of trying to approach a girl.

I'll keep this thread updated if I have any other news about my progress towards my goal of getting a girlfriend before I'm 21.


----------



## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

OK, another quick update. I've said in the post above that the girl I met didn't have a Facebook account, but I was wrong. It's not like I asked for her Facebook account, I just assumed she didn't have one, because when I searched for her, she wasn't there. However, I misspelled her name (she has a pretty unorthodox name). 

Anyways, I added her to my friends and after about an hour she approved my request. Now, when I added her I immediately sent her a message introducing myself, because I look really different than my profile picture, which was taken maybe 2 years ago and nearly everything about myself has changed since (my hairstyle, my acne, my choice of clothes), but that's probably the picture in which I look the least weird (I'm extremely unphotogenic), and asked a few questions. So, when I sent her that message it notified me that she'll get it in her "other" folder, because she hasn't approved my friend request yet. So now at some point of the day I see her logged on on Facebook at the same time as me, but she didn't write me back anything. You can see when people saw your last sent message, but the one I sent to her is still marked as unread. 

I barely use Facebook, so can anybody tell me is it possible that my message is still stuck in "other" folder? Because I thought once she approved my friend request, it would immediately be seen in her "inbox" folder and you'd see it like a regular message sent by your friend. Now my anxiety starts to act up once more. If it's still in "other" folder, then she probably has no idea I messaged her so I could try and write another message to her, hopefully this time making her see it. If it's in her "inbox" folder, then I'm screwed and I need to hope she doesn't consider me a loser and actually will reply to it. 

If people have any idea how that works on Facebook please let me know. I don't want to miss out on the opportunity of getting a new friend.


----------



## Silverera (Sep 5, 2013)

For a start, you sound like a kind, legit guy. Never feel bad that you've never had a girlfriend, I'm no relationship expert, but you seem like the kinda guy who when they find a girl they like, she'll be perfect for you. It's good to hear your self-confidence it's getting better, the only way is up for you my friend. Look after yourself, good health and good luck.


----------



## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

Silverera said:


> For a start, you sound like a kind, legit guy. Never feel bad that you've never had a girlfriend, I'm no relationship expert, but you seem like the kinda guy who when they find a girl they like, she'll be perfect for you. It's good to hear your self-confidence it's getting better, the only way is up for you my friend. Look after yourself, good health and good luck.


Thanks man! These past two weeks have been really weird to me. I used to be afraid to talk to girls, because I assumed they'd just instantly reject me, but since I stopped caring about that, none of the girls have done that. I mean sure, I still talked only to a few different girls, but after every interaction with a random girl my confidence just shoots up. Today I talked with some random girl I haven't ever seen in my uni and everything worked out great. Being afraid of girls is probably one of my biggest regrets during my tenure with SA.


----------



## Silverera (Sep 5, 2013)

Hell yeah, you go for it man. You keep building that confidence up, good personality + confidence = you'll go far in life. Good luck with it all!


----------



## guitarmatt (Aug 13, 2009)

That is so great man.. I wouldn"t be able to do that at this stage of my SA. 

Thanks for the inspiring story.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Good luck!


----------



## misspeachy (Aug 11, 2011)

Success in the making!


----------



## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

*Weekly Update #2*

I guess I'll do weekly updates on me trying to achieve this goal. Maybe I'll post some update sooner than after a week, but only if something really special happens, like I get a date or a girlfriend.

Anyway, this week I started to go to my uni once more. This time I was determined not to be the guy who always sits alone by himself. First thing I did was I stopped listening to music once I'm on my uni campus. Before that I'd always listen to music, so headphones on all the time and no one would try to approach me. Next thing I did is I started sitting more at the center of the desk. This might sound weird, but at my uni you usually have a bunch of rows, and each row has one long desk at which everyone sits. Before that I'd always sit as far to the right/left as possible in order to leave the building quicker. Next, if I see anyone that interests me even slightly, I'll talk to them. Well, there had to be the condition that they were sitting by themselves.

OK, now to the part of me trying to talk with girls. On Monday I sat next to a pretty cute student from Mexico. I was scared out of my mind to start talking with her, since by that time I still didn't try to talk with anyone at my uni. So during the break I just introduced myself and we started talking. That was much easier than I expected. So we talked for maybe 20 minutes, but I haven't seen her again during the week, since she's an exchange student and only has one class with me. Still, now I have someone to sit next to during one of my classes.

On Tuesday I was sitting in front of the class, as usual, and one of my very few acquaintances decided to sit next to me. That acquaintance wasn't a girl. During the lecture I noticed through a reflection from my laptop an incredibly cute girl sitting by herself. There was a short discussion in pairs and I heard that judging by her accent she wasn't a local. I was hoping so badly that for once my acquaintance would leave at least for a short period of time during the break so that I could maybe try to talk with her. Sadly, that didn't happen. I didn't want to seem like an a**hole to the guy that was sitting next to me, so I wasn't rude and didn't turn my back on him. Still, he not knowingly cockblocked me. Wait, that word doesn't fit. He talkblocked me? He approachblocked me? Either way, you get the point.

Wednesday was kinda hard. Like once again, I was sitting in front of the class, right in the middle. Then some Asian girl sat right next to me. She was completely by herself. However, the lecture started once she sat next to me, so I didn't have the chance to start a conversation then. During the first part of the lecture I was continuously telling myself "you're going to talk with her, you're the s**t, she will like you, nothing to lose" and so on. Once the break began, she immediately looked at her phone. I think "OK, once she puts her phone down, I'll start a conversation". However, she stood up and left to talk with some other girl and got back to her seat only when the lecture began. So damn, didn't get a chance to talk with her. Despite of that, I wouldn't call that day a complete failure, I talked on Facebook with the girl I met on the airplane for quite some time, so I still interacted with someone.

Thursday was awesome. Well, not awesome in meeting girls, but awesome in general. I was kinda worried that I'll be completely bored that day, because the lectures started at 8 AM and ended at 8 PM, but another one of my acquaintances met me and sat next to me. With this guy I can actually talk about any random stuff I'd like to. So we spent the whole time talking about random nonsense, laughing. It actually felt like I was with someone I'd consider a friend. We had a two hour window in between our lectures, so we decided to find a table somewhere, and we found one in a pretty quiet and empty place. We were again talking about nonsense but I've noticed a few times that there was a girl sitting all the way in the back trying to look at me. At least I think she was trying to look at me and not in a pissed off "can't you two shut up" kind of way. I could be wrong though. However, when we had to leave we didn't have to pass her, so I'll never know. Then we were supposed to watch some kind of a movie during one of the lectures, but my acquaintance decided he'll skip it and watch it back at home. I didn't want to go home, so I decided to stay. During the movie I sat in the back, since that's the best place to watch a movie. This time I was completely shocked, because I was approached by someone else. However, that someone else was a guy, but still, it felt nice to talk with someone new and not have to be the one doing the approach. During the movie I noticed that there was this one girl sitting about three rows in front of me by herself. I couldn't see her face, but from the back she looked exactly the same as the girl from Tuesday. It was also the same class. So during the movie I decided I'll talk with that girl once the movie is over, it's my second chance. So I plan how to exit the lecture hall at the same time as her in order to look more natural, but then I saw her face. It wasn't her. Once I saw it wasn't her, my goal went directly through the window. I mean it's not like she was ugly, it's that I was expecting to talk with a completely different person for 90 minutes.

Friday wasn't exactly great. I came to the uni really early and found the same spot I sat on Thursday. I did that because: a)it was a pretty quiet place, b)last time I was there, there was a girl possibly checking me out and she was sitting by herself. So I went in with the hopes that most of those tables will be taken, there will be one girl sitting by herself and I'll try to approach her. That didn't happen. When I went there, it was completely empty. However, while I was waiting for my lecture, one girl I used to go to language school went by and we talked for a little while. Sure, it's not a lot, but at least I talked with a girl. During the lecture I didn't notice any girls sitting by themselves, which was weird. Well actually there weren't a lot of people in that lecture. So everyone was in their groups of friends and I'm still way too anxious to approach a girl while she's surrounded by others, although I was thinking really hard about it. Decided that I need more experience to go on such an adventure. Also, I think I made the guy I met on Thursday pissed off at me, because during the lecture I got in a somewhat heated argument over one problem. Hopefully I didn't screw that up.

Saturday and Sunday have been miserable. Barely even left the house. The weather has been terrible, I live a pretty long distance from the towns center and I didn't have anyone to hang out with. So just another weekend for me  Still, today I wrote to the girl I met at the airport, but she hasn't replied to me yet. Once again there are those dumb thoughts "did I do something wrong" going around in my head. Same happened when I sent my messages before though, so maybe everything's alright. Also, uploaded a new photo on my Facebook and there were a few girls I went to school with that liked it. Maybe I'll try to chat them up if I'm bored.

Sorry if this was too long to read. The summary is this, during the last week I probably talked with more girls than I did during the past year. However, still nothing even remotely close to getting a date. I'm not upset though, at least I feel like I'm doing something to change my life.


----------



## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

Try and get a girl before you're 21 otherwise you'll never get one.

Talking from personal experience here, im 22 this year so theres no point in me even trying but forget about me lets get back to your story. Its a good thing that you struck up a conversation with a girl. The problem is you said you had no friends, thats not good really, girls will find this strange and will probably cut you off because of it, sorry to say that but you have to prepare for the worse. You should have friends really being at uni, have you not met any at all?

Just don't end up like me, a ****ing loser with no friends and no prospects for the future. Read my words carefully because I can guarantee that in a few years i'll be homeless sleeping in piss ridden alleyways in a city somewhere. 

Follow through with what you said you were going to do and keep at it, eventually it will become the norm and you'll be more comfortable with it, try and make friends at your university and it will become a little easier to get girls. Enjoy your life at uni while you can and make the most of it.


----------



## Teboribi (Dec 30, 2012)

Good for you man. I'm a 25 year old graduate , the only thing I do is go to work then after work straight into my room.... I'm really in a bad state, I'm not coping fine.


----------



## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

Rich91 said:


> Try and get a girl before you're 21 otherwise you'll never get one.
> 
> Talking from personal experience here, im 22 this year so theres no point in me even trying but forget about me lets get back to your story. Its a good thing that you struck up a conversation with a girl. The problem is you said you had no friends, thats not good really, girls will find this strange and will probably cut you off because of it, sorry to say that but you have to prepare for the worse. You should have friends really being at uni, have you not met any at all?
> 
> ...


How are you so sure that you will never get a girlfriend? You're only 21! You're a year older than me and you're already talking from your "experience"? Come on man, don't be so negative. If you try, you'll find someone sooner or later.


----------



## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

Radical But Legal said:


> How are you so sure that you will never get a girlfriend? You're only 21! You're a year older than me and you're already talking from your "experience"? Come on man, don't be so negative. If you try, you'll find someone sooner or later.


I doubt it pal, im a ****ing retard. I doubt a girl would want to be with me, im like the mentally impairded guy out of the film dead man's shoes. Theres no point pretending its not too late for me anymore.


----------



## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

OK, quick and short update. Today I was at the uni and I had to get a proof of enrollment. So I was waiting in a line to get serviced and there was this cute girl from Germany standing right in front of me. She looked at me and with a big smile said "sorry", because she was being serviced by one person and it was taking a long time. I thought to myself "this is my chance" and started to talk with her casually. However, this conversation was going the completely opposite direction I was expecting. You see, usually when I talk with a girl, I'm asking almost all the questions with her asking a few once in a while as well. This time it was the other way around. I was trying to be the one listening more and asking questions, but it was impossible, she'd flip them back on me. I was stunned. 

Anyway, my lectures had already ended, so I thought maybe I could invite her for a cup of coffee or something like that. However, I didn't ask directly, I just asked whether she had any more classes today, to which she answered that she has to go to classes the whole day. Damn, I was so close! Still, she would've been the first girl I would've invited to get a cup of coffee with. I'm not angry at that, my confidence got up even more, because even though I hate categorizing people in "levels", but she was way out of my level, and actually acted interested in me. Hopefully I'll meet her again sometime.


----------



## notgettingbywannadie (Sep 17, 2013)

I feel ya, brother. Maybe I'll set a similar goal in at least just talking to guys more, even without the intention of it leading up to something. Just to get more used to it. This is how I feel now talking to other guys: :um This is where I want to be: :yes Sorry, I like smilies. Maybe I'll try holding casual conversations with two guys a day- at least on school days. I seriously just need to chill the **** out. You've done it before, so you certainly are capable of it. I'm just assuming, that like me, you just need to relax. Maybe try some deep breathing exercises beforehand or something. I really don't have great advice in that regard. Or in any regard.


----------



## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

A lot of guys with SA get fatalistic about every minor downfall, and that's a great way to stay single. By the sounds of it, you have no problem making small talk with women and asking them out, so as long as you don't get bent out of shape if they say no, you're golden. It's a numbers game, really. The more you try, the better your odds are. The only surefire way to never get a date is if you never truly try in the first place.


----------



## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

Rainbat said:


> A lot of guys with SA get fatalistic about every minor downfall, and that's a great way to stay single. By the sounds of it, you have no problem making small talk with women and asking them out, so as long as you don't get bent out of shape if they say no, you're golden. It's a numbers game, really. The more you try, the better your odds are. The only surefire way to never get a date is if you never truly try in the first place.


Yeah, I used to hate small talk, because I really had no idea what to talk about. I sat and thought what could possibly start a conversation and I'm quite fortunate to be going to a university with a decent amount of international students at this moment. It's incredibly easy to start asking questions about another persons country, especially for me, because I know a whole bunch of what seemed useless facts about different countries. Then there is another great question "what are you studying". Basically from these two questions you just listen to their answers and you have enough material to talk for days. Let me say this again, 2-3 weeks ago I was afraid of girls like of the devil, my mother and grandmother were literally the only females I could speak to. Now I really don't see such a big deal of talking with a girl.


----------



## Psi (Mar 3, 2013)

Thank you for your post. It's really inspiring for me too, and I'm happy for you that you found the courage to talk to that girl for so long. I think it's fantastic you've found out you can actually do this and gain self-confidence along with it. Just remember to not set the bar too high at first. It's a process so let it take the time it needs. Be easy on yourself on the journey because after all this is a real disorder and we all know how hard it can be. Take care.


----------



## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

Psi said:


> Thank you for your post. It's really inspiring for me too, and I'm happy for you that you found the courage to talk to that girl for so long. I think it's fantastic you've found out you can actually do this and gain self-confidence along with it. Just remember to not set the bar too high at first. It's a process so let it take the time it needs. Be easy on yourself on the journey because after all this is a real disorder and we all know how hard it can be. Take care.


Glad that some of my posts help someone. I know that I shouldn't try to rush things. That's why I gave myself a little bit more than 6 months to try and reach that goal. If I get a girlfriend in that time, I'll be the happiest person alive. If I won't reach that goal in that time but learn how to talk with girls and maybe make a few new friends, then I'll be pretty happy about myself as well.


----------



## Psi (Mar 3, 2013)

Sounds awesome  Best of luck with everything!


----------



## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

*Weekly Update #3*

I know the week hasn't ended yet, but I basically can't leave my room, because I f**ked up my knee really badly. So, since I'll be staying at home for the entire weekend, I really doubt I'll be able to talk to any more girls.

Monday started out pretty decently, I guess. Once again I talked with that girl from Mexico during one of the lectures. It really sucks that we only have one lecture during the whole week in the same classroom. Also, she's an exchange student. Still, at least I talked with someone. However, didn't try to talk with any new girls, so that's not good.

Tuesday was the day I messed up my knee. However, I already wrote about what happened that day a few posts ago. Short summary is that I started talking with a girl while waiting in a line, was really close to asking her out for a cup of coffee, but she had a bunch of lectures, so no free time. Despite my knee problems, I'd still consider that day somewhat of a success. New girls talked with count: 1.

Wednesday was a pretty bad day. That was the day I was completely in pain. Also, I only had 1 lecture, so not a lot of chances to talk with girls. I saw this one girl sitting completely by herself, but I guess pain in my leg completely overshadowed my thinking, so I didn't try to approach her. That's a shame. However, that day I wrote a few messages to the girl from the airport, I at least somewhat consider that a success.

Thursday was pretty good. During one of the lectures, we had to introduce ourselves, which I hate with a passion. However, there was this one girl that caught my interest and I remembered her name. During the break I started to talk with her. She was pretty friendly, so that's a plus. Not a lot more happened, though. New girls talked with count: 2.

Friday was OK, once more. Didn't talk with any girls, because on Fridays for some reason our whole uni is completely empty. Also, I only had one lecture. However, when I was walking up the stairs, one cute girl smiled at me. Not in a "look at how dumb you look" way. The bad thing was that I was climbing up the stairs, my knee hurt like hell, so instead of smiling myself or chatting her up, I just continued climbing with a face that looked like in great agony. So that was good and bad at the same time. Also, I found the Thursday's girl on Facebook and we chatted for a little bit.

So that's basically it. Next week we'll start having much more lectures, so hopefully I'll have more chances to talk with girls. If not for my knee, this week could've been much better. Still, meeting 2 new girls in a week I consider a success. Hopefully I won't blow it with the girl I met on Thursday. However, it seems that she has a boyfriend, so that might be a little bit tricky.


----------



## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

wow you are doing alot better then I could do and I hope you find a girlfriend


----------



## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

mike91 said:


> wow you are doing alot better then I could do and I hope you find a girlfriend


You never know, maybe if you tried to do the same, you'd have even more success than me. Also, my goal is to find a girlfriend. So far I haven't met any girls that I'd actually like to have as a girlfriend. Most of them are girls that I'd like to keep as friends. However, you can't expect to go from being terrified of talking to girls to having a girlfriend in a couple of weeks. I suggest you to try out talking with random girls. If you're just relaxed during the conversations, they won't reject you.


----------



## hughjames95 (Sep 21, 2013)

I'm 18. I have had some experience with girls but haven't had a girlfriend before. I thought i might do something similar to you but since i don't go out there's no point really.


----------



## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

hughjames95 said:


> I'm 18. I have had some experience with girls but haven't had a girlfriend before. I thought i might do something similar to you but since i don't go out there's no point really.


But you're only 18! Don't you plan going to a university or something like that? Maybe getting a job? Maybe joining some sort of a club? There has got to be something you could do. Don't give up on it while you're still only 18! You can meet girls not only by going to a bar or a club.


----------



## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

Radical But Legal said:


> You never know, maybe if you tried to do the same, you'd have even more success than me. Also, my goal is to find a girlfriend. So far I haven't met any girls that I'd actually like to have as a girlfriend. Most of them are girls that I'd like to keep as friends. However, you can't expect to go from being terrified of talking to girls to having a girlfriend in a couple of weeks. I suggest you to try out talking with random girls. If you're just relaxed during the conversations, they won't reject you.


it not to easy for me as I work at nursing home washing dishes and left school when I was 15 and the rejected me in school and I tried talking to some at my last job but got rejected as well so I dont worry any more


----------



## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

*A long, but great update!*

I planned on making an update once the week ends, but I just have to write something. I have to tell someone about this.

The day I'm talking about is Tuesday a.k.a. the day my confidence skyrocketed to new heights. During all of my classes I basically hung out with three other guys. The best thing? I wasn't the quiet one. I was actually the loudest one. In our uni we have lectures, that take place in lecture halls, which means that there are more than a 100 people in one place. We also have "tutorials", during which we are thought more in depth on how to solve different problems and there are no more than 20 people in the classroom. The teachers in those tutorials are usually Master's students, so they are only a few years older than me and you can talk to them in a very informal way. Our teacher for one of those classes was gorgeous. Because I was so confident in myself, I straight up started talking to her. In front of the class. When everybody could hear and understand every word we were saying. That is one of my biggest fears, but I just had a really huge "I don't give a f**k" attitude that day. We cracked a few jokes, laughed a bit. Those classes should be fun. Also, I actually raised my hand and answered a question. This has never happened before.

*Now we're getting to the really important part of why I'm so damn happy.* The same day I had my first language class. I live in a foreign country, their main language isn't English. Those classes are made for people that go to my university. I arrive first, as usual. There were nobody inside. After about 10 minutes first people start coming in. I just say hi to them and smile, nothing too much. Then out of nowhere this incredibly beautiful girl walks in. When I say beautiful, I don't think I do her justice. She sits right behind me, completely alone. Even though I was feeling incredibly confident that day, I couldn't manage to say anything to her at that moment. I wanted to sit next to her so bad, but I completely froze up.

The class started and the only thing I had on my mind is how to approach her. We had to introduce ourselves and I paid really good attention to what she said about herself. Got to know her name and a few interesting facts about her. Those were supposed to be my icebreakers.

After about an hour, it was time for a break. I literally was praying that she wouldn't leave the classroom for any reason during that break. Everybody was getting up out of their place and going outside, but thankfully she remained seated. I gathered all of my confidence and went to her. I knew this will either get my confidence to new heights or shoot me down to an incredible low. I was willing to take the risk.

We started talking. Everything was going great. I was being funny. Well at least I think I was being funny, she was laughing a lot at my jokes. She was actually asking questions about me as well. That means she didn't consider me a complete creep and was at least interested in talking with me. After the break I was only kicking myself for not going over to sit next to her. Other than that, everything went absolutely great.

Now during the second part of our language class, I was thinking about how should I tell her that I'd like to sit next to her. What were good ways to imply wanting to sit next to her, but not saying it as well? It might sound weird if I straight up said I wanted to sit next to her, right? What if she says no? It will be really uncomfortable to go to these classes. We have to work in pairs, she is paired up with some hot guy from Spain, what if she decides to sit next to him from now on instead? I mean he looks like he's straight up grabbed from a magazine about pretty people! Those thoughts were continuously brushing through my head. I think it's pretty clear that the language courses took a backseat to my new goal.

*The class ends.* Everybody is starting to leave. I got all of my stuff as quickly in my backpack just in case she packed quickly. However, she didn't. Thank god I had to let others pack first as well in order to leave the room. I timed it perfectly for me to leave the class at the exact same time as her. So, how will I ask the question? My "I don't give a f**k" attitude took the steering wheel from me.

Me: "I've got the best idea ever." 
Her: "What?" 
Me: "We have to sit next to each other from now on." 
Her: "Why?" 
Me: "Because it's the best idea ever."

*She met my "best idea ever" with a laugh and said sure with a huge smile.* I insisted to shake hands on our deal so that she couldn't back out of it and she did. So, being confident and straight to the point works pretty well. Much better than I expected. We walked out of the uni together, talking with each other. I was trying to be a gentleman and open all the doors for her, but she would do it much quicker than I could react. I said "damn it, why don't you let me be a gentleman!" She just laughed and said that she isn't used to guys opening doors for her.

All in all, a great day for me. Probably the best one so far. However, two days already passed and I can't stop thinking about her. During all of my lectures I just thought about her. I couldn't hear anything my teachers told me. When I go to sleep, I have dreams about her. Way too often my head drifts away and starts daydreaming about her. I think I have a huge crush on her. Bad thing is that we only have one language class during the week.

*Now the big question for me is if she has a boyfriend.* She actually is 5 years older than me and is already doing her Master's studies. The age gap doesn't concern me. When I said that thing about being a gentleman, she mentioned that Eastern Europeans act more like gentlemen (she has relatives in Poland and spends some time there every year). I said that she needs to get a Polish boyfriend then (I'm not Polish). She said the nationality doesn't matter to her. What I'm thinking is, if she had a boyfriend, she could've easily said "my boyfriend is from ... actually" or "that's why I have a Polish boyfriend". I basically helped her out by saying that, because if you do have a boyfriend, that's the easiest and best way to say you do without being an a**hole. Also, she said something about her friend's boyfriend and how he tries to act like a gentleman. She mentions her friend's boyfriend, but not a single word or implication that she has a boyfriend. So far everything points to the fact that she's single. I was pretty clearly hitting on her, complimenting her quite a few times, so I think if she had a boyfriend, she definitely would've tried to slip that in somehow in the conversation.

*That's the first girl I've met that I'm really attracted to, not only in a "let's be friends" kind of way.* I've already found her on Facebook just by searching her first name (it popped up at the very top actually, no huge investigation needed), but am still a little bit scared to try and add her. I really want to do something and try to ask her out on a date, but don't know how. Also, I need a clear confirmation that she doesn't have a boyfriend. I can't wait for the next Tuesday to say the least. Now my goal is to ask her out if she doesn't have a boyfriend.

This is way longer than I anticipated. I've bolded the sentences of the most important paragraphs in case you're too lazy to read it all.


----------



## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

I woulld add her on facebook it might let you know if she has a boyfriend or is single


----------



## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

mike91 said:


> I woulld add her on facebook it might let you know if she has a boyfriend or is single


It might, but also a lot of girls don't update any information if they're single or not. Some have pictures with their boyfriends, but I know a few that don't. Still, don't really want to seem creepy right now. Maybe I'll just wait another day. Got to think of what to say to her first and only have a short conversation, because I don't want to talk about everything over the internet.


----------



## anxiousanddepressed (Sep 30, 2013)

It's very interesting to read this post, from a male's perspective. I never thought men were afraid of women. We really won't bite! The one thing I can say, is just be thankful you've avoided all the relationship drama that sometimes happens between couples. I m 31 now and afraid of ever having another relationship again because of how men have treated me. But you're still young and eager and sound like a great guy. Best of luck in your quest


----------



## BreezyBre (Sep 4, 2013)

I enjoyed reading all of your updates and it seems like you are making a lot of progress towards your goal


----------



## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

*Update about a girl I wanted to ask out*

So today is Tuesday. I've had a goal to ask out this one girl I go to language courses with. And... I didn't do it. Thank god I didn't do it. We were sitting next to each other, talking, and she told me she's not going to be in the next language class. The reason for that is that she has to go back home on Friday and only will be back on Thursday. Thank god I knew that before trying to ask her out. If I didn't know she was leaving, I would've been definitely rejected. Sure, she would've had an explanation to why she can't go out with me, but I'd probably think she's just lying and hates my guts.

Other than that everything went pretty well. We talked with each other, had to do some tasks together. The bad part is that I'm not good at that language, so I was struggling badly. She on the other hand was nearly flawless. So I looked really stupid in front of her. That's not good. She might be the reason for me to try and study that language even harder, so that might be good.

Another thing that happened to me today is that I finally saw the same girl I found really attractive a few weeks ago. She was once again sitting by herself. The problem was that she was sitting in a completely different corner from where I was sitting. Still, I set out with a goal to talk with her after the class ends. I was about to approach her, but she stood up and left. I completely froze up. That's not good. I wanted to talk with her badly, but just couldn't. I need to see her sometime again, I want to talk with her one of these days.

And finally, I said about how last week we had this one girl who's really beautiful as well to be teaching one of my classes. Well, I talked with her again. We cracked jokes once more. I even asked for her help during the break, something I never do. She really seems nice and I really enjoy her classes. The weird thing is that I'm the only one of all the other students that actually talks with her. So even though I have SA, I'm acting like the least anxious person in the class.


----------



## Pieter1992 (May 4, 2013)

I think you shouldn't be afraid of rejection. it happens to almost all guys at least once. the world is not gonna end 

And you did well with the two other girls! keep it up


----------



## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

Pieter1992 said:


> I think you shouldn't be afraid of rejection. it happens to almost all guys at least once. the world is not gonna end
> 
> And you did well with the two other girls! keep it up


You're right, I shouldn't be afraid of rejection. It's just that she would've definitely said no if I asked her out yesterday. It would've happened not only because of me, but also because she definitely has to leave on Friday. If I had been rejected yesterday, my pursuits of asking her out would've probably ended there. Now I still have a chance and some hope. My plans don't change, the next time I see her, I'll try to ask her out.


----------



## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

*Update: I'm awesome*

So about that girl I saw last week that I've been searching for a long time with no results. The same one I asked a question whether or not I was a creep/borderline stalker for trying to find out who she was. Today everything was just way too easy. I sat in a seat next to my friends and she sat one row in front, straight in front of me. So during the break I decided I'll talk with her. And I did. And I did well. And she seems awesome. And I don't know what else to say.

After our lecture finished, I decided to try and ask her out for a cup of coffee. My friends looked at me when I was talking with her and left. I had a 2 hour gap in between classes, so I hoped she would be free at that time as well. She wasn't. She actually said she'd love to grab a cup of coffee with me, but she was busy that day. I would've thought that she was lying to me and that was her way to reject me, but she straight up took out her schedule and showed me. She really had a busy day.

In the end she said we should grab a cup of coffee some other time. We figured out that we'll have the same lecture on Thursday. It will also be the last lecture for both of us. So, if we both show up in that lecture, we'll probably hang out afterwards. I feel like a goddamn king right now. I don't want to call it a date yet, but it's still something. I need to not f**k it up though.

Through all the rest classes my friends looked at me as if they were proud. That's the first time something like that happened to me. Progress, ladies and gentlemen!


----------



## Pieter1992 (May 4, 2013)

aaah lovely to hear that!

I'm happy in your place man.

only thing I can tell you is that you should have more trust in people in general. She honestly had a busy schedule, nothing bad 
And I think if you have a positive mindset of people (people are generally nice, and open etc) then it'll also be much easier to do things . 
But I have a negative mindset aswell (I have a hard time trusting people , I think most people with SA have that anyways.. ) 

Furthermore, I truly hope you have a good time with this girl and i'm sure you won't mess it up! Keep it up and keep us updated


----------



## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

Pieter1992 said:


> aaah lovely to hear that!
> 
> I'm happy in your place man.
> 
> ...


I know I should trust people more, but I actually usually feel that if they say they're busy, that just means they don't really want to spend time with me. She actually wanted to spend some time with me, because she whipped out her phone and showed me her schedule for that day, which was packed. It just made me incredibly happy. Also, when we were talking, she was always touching her hair and neck, which I think is a good sign as well.

I always try to think with a positive mindset. Well for the past month I've been doing so. Guess what, my life got infinitely better. I now have a few guys that I constantly hang out with at the uni, am actually able to participate vocally in a few classes, which was one of my biggest fears, and most importantly, I'm not afraid to talk with girls anymore. The past week I've been talking with a little bit less girls, because I have my sights locked in on a few that I'd really like to try and develop a relationship with. Of course if anything ever happens with the girl I was talking to today, the other girls won't be pursued like that anymore, maybe just talk with them as friends.

About messing it up, I also hope I won't do that. The problem is that I'll have to find her on Thursday in the lecture hall, which has nearly 100 people there. I can't pass on that chance, because the next week is some sort of vacation, so I wouldn't be able to meet her. Thursday is almost all or nothing for me. I don't think I'll get nervous, because I don't look at it as a date. It's just going to be a "try to get to know each other better" meeting. If we have a good time on Thursday, then I'll ask her out. Most important for me is just to find her on Thursday, that's the only thing that's on my mind right now. I'll probably ask for help of my other two friends that go to the same lecture as me if I'll have trouble with that. They already know what she looks like and looked at me in a really jealous way, because I was able to talk with her. Both of them "approved" of my choice and for the rest of the day tried to tell me what to say to her next time I meet her


----------



## Pieter1992 (May 4, 2013)

It it true that if a girl touches her hair she's interested  
I've read it somewhere.^^

And can't you ask her number? It'd be easier that way I think.


----------



## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

Pieter1992 said:


> It it true that if a girl touches her hair she's interested
> I've read it somewhere.^^
> 
> And can't you ask her number? It'd be easier that way I think.


I can't right now. I'm getting much better at talking to girls, but I still have some mental lapses. I should've asked for her number, but didn't. The only way I'll see her is on Thursday, during that one lecture we have together. It would be easier if we exchanged our contact information, but I screwed that up. An even bigger screw up though was not asking what her name is. I already know her name, because I tried to figure out who she was before talking with her, since I had a crush on her and had only seen her twice before, but I can't just add her on Facebook or message her. We have no friends or acquaintances in common. That's again why I say it's all or nothing on Thursday. I just have to find her, no matter what it takes. That's my main goal. I should be considered about my studies, but this is the most important thing for me. I actually have a legitimate chance of getting a girlfriend.


----------



## Pieter1992 (May 4, 2013)

Well, 

I expect a positive answer of you on this thread this Thursday my friend! 
Go for it! And don't overthink it, if you see her, go up to her. That's all I can say.
And it's okay to focus on her now, still plenty of time for studies and social skills are important too at your work.. don't worry about school till Thursday.


----------



## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

*Update: Talked with the same girl*

So today I had a chance to talk with that girl I've been having a crush on. She actually sat in a little group of her other friends, but I had the balls to sit next to her. The best part was that I was talking with her the whole time, made her focus all her attention on me. I talked with her a little bit and finally got to know her name. During the conversation at one point I reminded her about that cup of coffee that belongs to her. She said "please don't tell me you want to do that today". Well f**k, that didn't go well. She explained that she has to exchange some currency today and she doesn't know how long that place is open. Because it was already 4 PM, I understood her concern, where I live everything closes really early.

I had to figure out a way to not lose her completely. The bad part is that next week is a one week vacation. She, like most other students, will travel, so she won't be in the country that whole week. I asked if she had any lectures tomorrow, she didn't. But I do. If she had been at the uni, we could've met up at some point, but now it's impossible. She leaves on Saturday. So in other words, not possible to go out with her for nearly two weeks. That sucks.

After the lecture ended I asked if I could walk with her to that currency exchange place at least. She said of course. So we talked for a little bit more. Still, now I have an even bigger crush on her. Also, I feel that I might start to look desperate to her, because I've already asked her out twice. I mean I am desperate, but I don't think that's a turn-on for most girls. Either way, at least I did something. I won't let my hands down, got to try something. Once the break ends, I'll figure out a way to ask her out in a way she absolutely won't be able to say no to.


----------



## Pieter1992 (May 4, 2013)

Pitty you won't see her for such a long time 

And very good that you were persistent and asked her to walk with her.
I would have given up already, you didn't. Good job !


----------



## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

I used to make goals like this. Looking back, I laugh at myself for it.


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

RelinquishedHell said:


> I used to make goals like this. Looking back, I laugh at myself for it.


Same here....I kept telling myself I'd be married at 25. Thirteen years after that, no ceremony, no ring, no WIFE! :lol


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

You have the rest of your life.

Me, I'm turning 31 in two weeks, and I'll still have never had a girlfriend and be a virgin. I'm okay with that. I don't believe that I'm destined to be alone, and I will find someone eventually.


----------



## Pieter1992 (May 4, 2013)

No No. 
you can't say "you still have your whole life to find a gf".
That's the wrong mentality. Don't waste your days saying 'i still have time enough'. 
Nothing will happen that way.
You have to take action, the sooner the better. 

Unless you think this is the best you can do, but I'm sure everybody can get a gf , how hard it may be...

There is a difference between 'I'm okay with my life now' and 'I'm happy with my life and proud of what i achieved'. 
I don't want to be mean or anything, but only with motivation and persistence you can get what you want.
For us it is to succeed socially (finding a gf etc) for others it's to obtain a degree, a good job..


----------



## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

Pieter1992 said:


> No No.
> you can't say "you still have your whole life to find a gf".
> That's the wrong mentality. Don't waste your days saying 'i still have time enough'.
> Nothing will happen that way.
> ...


Exactly. Waiting and saying "I will have ... at some point in my life" usually doesn't work. At least for people with SA that don't have many friends, you won't just get a girlfriend out of nowhere.

Like I've said tons of times before, I used to live with the same thoughts, I'll get a girlfriend at some point in my life. I'm 20 now and until this September I couldn't even talk with girls, had 0 friends that were girls. Once I started to try and change that, I'm feeling that I'm making a huge progress on my part. I mean yesterday I had some girl I don't even know start a conversation with me. That has never happened to me before.

I would really like for things to work out with that girl that I have a crush on, but if it doesn't happen, I won't let my hands down. It's OK if at this moment you're completely fine with not having a girlfriend, but if you'd like to get a girlfriend, sitting on your *** and hoping it will magically happen won't work.


----------



## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

*Update: *

Haven't written any updates, because I didn't have much going on lately. Last week I barely had any classes and most people didn't even go to them. This week I'm already done with my classes as well. Today was the only day I could actually try doing something. Here it goes...

Today I had really high hopes. I went to the uni with a huge smile on my face, because I knew I'd see my crush in the very first lecture. Also, it seemed that she liked me, so that's a plus.

Basically, I go inside and she wasn't there yet. No problem, I came a little bit early, everything is cool. Then I see her, she sees me, I wave at her, but she for some reason doesn't sit next to me (bad thing #1). I decided to go up to her and ask if I could sit next to her. I didn't care, I had to do something. She let me do that. I wanted to talk to her, but she was doing something with her phone all the god damn time (bad thing #2). I couldn't take it anymore and asked if what she's doing on her phone was really important. She said yes (bad thing #3).

I got tired of waiting until she puts her phone down, decided to pull out my typical "let's go for a cup of coffee", which she always managed to get away from. This time was absolutely no different. She said she has a bunch of work to do for her other uni (she's an exchange student), deadlines are coming up at the end of this month, so she'll be busy at least until November (bad thing #4). I said half jokingly that come November she won't have any more excuses to not go out with me, to which she just answered with a laugh, but you could easily tell that laugh was nervous (bad thing #5).

All in all I couldn't even talk with her and now I think she might actually dislike me. The beginning of November will be the last time I try to do anything about her. If she'll just keep coming up with excuses, I'm done. It would be much easier if she just straight up told me that she doesn't like me or that she has a boyfriend already.

So now my day has been pretty much ruined. Still, I have a class with two of my friends who know about her, at least I'll be able to get some sympathy from them, right? Wrong. They didn't come to the uni that day. However, I have a class with that teacher that I can freely talk about any kind of nonsense, so that might cheer me up, right? Wrong again. There were some other students that came to our class and one of them was Russian. She's also Russian, so they talked with each other in Russian the whole time. Well great. Now I'm in the class that I usually like, completely depressed and with no motivation to do anything in it. And I didn't do anything in it.

But hey, today I have a language class! There's that girl that I also like in it and I can talk to! That might cheer me up, right? Wrong again. She didn't come. Why? Who knows.

So all in all today sucked. I really hoped it would be awesome, but it was complete s**t. I think my crush hates me, my only friends didn't come today, another girl I like also didn't come. Now I have the rest of the week of basically doing nothing. No more classes means no more chances to socialize with anyone. I'm already bored. Besides going to the gym, I have absolutely nothing else to do. This is probably my lowest of all lows during these past two months. I don't want to go back into a deep depression. I don't want to be afraid of talking to girls. I don't want to go back to my old self.


----------



## lesedwards (Oct 7, 2013)

I have a tip. Instead of making your goal "To have a girlfriend by 21", why don't you make it "Meet a lot more women to improve 'game' and just socializing with them completely".

Get rid of the mentality of finding that one girl. Meet a ton of new women to really find out what you want and don't want in a girl. You'll eventually find someone who you'll fall hard for and will be what you've always wanted and from there, you'll get your girlfriend.

IMO this way you'll find someone more compatible with you and getting rid of the "getting a girlfriend" mentality will make you focus more on actually having a genuine conversation with a girl and getting to know her that way rather than just "oh hey you like the same things I do we should go out" kinda thing.

Just my 2 cents. Hope it helps


----------



## Pieter1992 (May 4, 2013)

so... how did this go?

any progress?


----------



## Genie (May 22, 2013)

I think it's really hard goal, due to this requiring so much social skill and attraction skill even with somewhat cooperating person.
Just making any way toward the goal is good progress. It wouldn’t be surprising if things didn’t go well, although I hope it has.


----------



## JimS90 (May 19, 2013)

Good that you're setting goals and being positive. Best of luck to you.

I tend not to set goals anymore because I find people just seem to walk into my life randomly. It seems to be more luck than science.


----------



## burgerchuckie (May 31, 2012)

This is exactly what I said to myself before. Unfortunately, it didn't come true. I just turned 21 and still single. But I guess, you just have to wait. Stressing yourself about being single won't help. Hoping for a romantic 2014:heart


----------



## inerameia (Jan 26, 2012)

This is not a goal of mine... I'm just scraping by right now.


----------



## londonguy202 (Jan 10, 2014)

My goal to get a married and live with my wife by 2020. Starting dating and getting a girlfriend by 2016/17


----------



## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

londonguy202 said:


> My goal to get a married and live with my wife by 2020. Starting dating and *getting a girlfriend by 2016/17*


You should start sooner. :no


----------



## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

I had my first bf at 23.


----------



## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

Rachael90 said:


> I am not interested in girls! btw


Ok?


----------



## moveon (Mar 28, 2009)

I agree with lesedwards. You should focus on personal growth but it seems like you are doing fine. Good luck.


----------

