# Maladaptive day dreaming - my personal story



## spotholder (Aug 30, 2015)

This is going to be a long one, so just bear with me. 

Okay, so this is bit of a challenge for me.
I don't know if its just me or other maladaptive daydreamers feel the same way, but I am very attached and protective of the worlds I create for myself. So to talk about them is a little hard for me.

The reason I am doing this is because I find very little information about this. And I find even less personal stories about it. I actually didn't even know there was a word for what I was doing until a couple of months ago, and that there were other people that did the same thing.

So first, some facts.
Maladaptive daydreaming is excessive daydreaming. Maladaptive daydreamers are usually people who have social anxiety or depression. Maladaptive daydreaming goes a step further than regular daydreaming. The daydreams are extensive, vivid, and intricate. The daydreamers become emotionally invested in the characters and become attached. They are usually not separate daydreams each time, but a one long daydream with, a plot, main characters, reappearing characters, friends, and villains.

Although unlike schizophrenics, maladaptive daydreamers know the difference between reality and their fantasy, they have trouble stopping the daydreams or focusing on regular tasks. Some people have experienced a negative affect in their real lives.

These daydreams are often accompanied by a repetitive movement in the daydreamers along with laughing, gesturing, whispering, crying, and other facial expressions and movements. The daydreamers are trying to emulate the characters in their fantasies.

A big part of maladaptive daydreaming is pop culture and the world around the daydreamer. Anything from a song, commercial, TV show, movie, book, photo, etc can trigger a daydream to start. Majority of the time some of the characters or places already exist in a movie, book, show, or some other form of pop culture.



So now that we're done with the facts, I will tell you about my experiences in maladaptive daydreaming.

I have been a maladaptive daydreamer for as long as I can remember. My first memory of a daydream is what I like to call "the bread and butter bird". When I was about four or five and my aunt would walk me to school she would always say bread and butter when she split a pole. It was some type of weird superstitious thing. Of course me being only four I began to say it too, but as I also had social anxiety I never felt comfortable enough to say it out loud, so I would say it in my head. Thus the bread and butter bird was born. He was a bird that only ate bread and butter but he could only eat if I said "bread and butter" in my head. He lived in a world where they loved to be fat in the summer and thin in the winter. Its silly I know, but I was four! Lol. I still find myself visiting my old bird friend on occasion. He was my main daydream until I was about six.

My second daydream was of a boy named Kevin. He would walk with with me school and play with me when I had no one to play with. I very clearly remember telling my mother and sister about him and being very clear that he was my imaginary friend but it was alright, because I knew he was imaginary so I wasn't crazy lol. He was my main daydream and stayed my main daydream from then to present.

Kevin started out as the main character I guess you could call it until about middle school. He then was demoted into second main character, and "I" was introduced into the picture. Before this I, as in my actually self, would interact with my daydreams and they would interact with me and the going on's in my life. When "I" was brought into the picture my actually self took a step back and I became the main character in the form of a girl named Iiolana. Iiolana (Alana, don't ask me why I spelled it like that) was Kevin's best friend. This is the time when pop culture began to have a big impact on my daydreams. I don't feel comfortable going into to much detail, but this is when my daydreams started to get more detailed and more character's.

Later on Iiolana got demoted by the current main character (CMC) whose name I don't feel comfortable saying and I really don't want to get into to much detail about the current daydream. But I will say the Iiolana and the CMC are friends, not best friends, but friends none the less. Kevin is also still there, and him and Iiolana are now in a relationship. What I will say is that my current "cast" for lack of a better word has been here since high school with a couple of add on's over the years. They consist of 8 "main" girls 14 "main" boys and about 25 other minor characters. Pop culture has made a huge impact on my daydream but my main characters "me" are never a part of the pop culture influences.

Although I am the main character majority of the time I do go into the minds of the other characters and act as them form time to time, but majority of the time, they kind of act on their own. Its kind of hard to explain.

Although this has been my main daydream for years I have had a couple of other sub-dreams while I've had this big main one.

There was the two guys Neji, and Hajii. I believe I was Neji. As you can tell this is from when I was heavily into anime. And, no Neji was not the character from Naruto, the only influence I took was the name. They came about when I got my DS and used the picto-chat to "chat" with Hajii. And yes, although I am a girl Neji was indeed a boy in this daydream. They didn't last for very long. Only until about the time that I stopped using my DS.

The other sub-dream was the vampires, as I like to call them. Surprisingly the only influence I took from pop culture in this daydream was the fact that my characters were vampires. They were also a pretty extensive daydream with about 10 characters in total. Which is the most that any of daydreams have had besides the main daydream. In this daydream I was also a guy, named volcad. This was one of my longer sub-daydreams. I liked this one so much that I often times tried to revisit it after it had died down, but for some reason I just couldn't get back into it.

Surprisingly the only other daydream that I have been able to revisit along with my main one is the bread and butter bird. Lol I think I find it hard to let go of the first one I can remember. Its also the most simple of the daydreams and the easiest to get back into. Its like revisiting an old friend.



Now for the effects it's has had on my life I'm not to sure about. I have never been the best at keeping friends, but I think that has more to do with my SA and less to do with my daydreaming. I do sometimes find myself having a hard time focusing on things when I want to be with my daydreams or when something happens and I suddenly have inspiration to do something in the daydream.

I might be horrible at directions because of my daydreams. Because of my SA I don't have a drivers license so I am either on public transportation or being driven by a family member. Most of the time I use this time to daydream. Its not like I do it on purpose. Its like my body can't even help it. I have to actively make myself pay attention and stop myself fro daydreaming if I really want to know directions but even then I still get them wrong. I think my daydreaming contributes to my bad sense of direction but I think that might just be something I would be bad at even if didn't daydream lol.

Most of the time I can incorporate what I'm doing daily into what I'm doing in the daydream. Like if I'm going shopping then the me in my daydream is also going shopping, of I'm taking a shower then the daydream "me" is also taking a shower etc.

The most time I daydream is either right before I go to bed or right after I wake up. I have a hard time getting to sleep but I'm not sure if that's because I daydream at that time or if I daydream because I have a hard time falling asleep. On average it probably takes me about 30 minutes to fall asleep. Which gives me plenty of time to spend with my daydream.

As for the facial expressions and the gestures and what not, I do find myself doing those a lot. Never when I'm around other people thankfully. I will laugh, whisper, cry, gesture, and make facial expressions as if I'm actually the daydream "me".

I find myself having a hard time letting go of my daydreams. If I could get rid of them with a magic pill I don't think I would. I am to attached to them. I am very emotionally invested with them. I don't think they have a detrimental effect on my daily life or that they would on my life in the future. I don't just sit in the house all day with my daydreams. I incorporate them into my life so I don't just spend hours at a time just sitting alone with them.

Daydreaming is one of my coping mechanisms. It's what helps me get through my days. I don't know how I would get through my days without daydreaming.

Does anyone else find it hard to give up their daydreams, or talk about them?


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

I just want to say that it was an interesting read, I don't do this myself altho I do act out conversations when i'm alone as if someone was listening to me.


btw I don't think 30 minutes to fall asleep is considered a long time.


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## Seegan (Mar 24, 2015)

spotholder said:


> This is going to be a long one, so just bear with me.
> 
> Okay, so this is bit of a challenge for me.
> I don't know if its just me or other maladaptive daydreamers feel the same way, but I am very attached and protective of the worlds I create for myself. So to talk about them is a little hard for me.
> ...


I find it impossible to talk to people about my daydreams. The characters and my worlds feel too private. My therapist has asked me about them, but I get uncomfortable and can't talk about it. I'm highly protective of the characters I've created and the worlds they live in.


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## spotholder (Aug 30, 2015)

Seegan said:


> I find it impossible to talk to people about my daydreams. The characters and my worlds feel too private. My therapist has asked me about them, but I get uncomfortable and can't talk about it. I'm highly protective of the characters I've created and the worlds they live in.


I too am very protective of my worlds and characters, that's why I only felt comfortable talking abut my daydreams that are no longer active and even those I don't like to go into detail about. I just figured maybe if I talk about it, even it's just a little bit, it might help someone else out to realize that they are definitely not alone in this.

Would feel comfortable answering a couple of questions? If not then feel free not to answer them and just ignore me lol.

How long have you been a maladaptive day dreamer?
Do you have multiple or just one?
If you have had multiple ones do you find it easy or hard to go back to the older ones? 
And does it interfere with your life at all?


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## spotholder (Aug 30, 2015)

versikk said:


> I just want to say that it was an interesting read, I don't do this myself altho I do act out conversations when i'm alone as if someone was listening to me.
> 
> btw I don't think 30 minutes to fall asleep is considered a long time.


Thank you, I'm trying to be a bit more open about my life since I have hard time with that and to not be ashamed.


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## Seegan (Mar 24, 2015)

spotholder said:


> I too am very protective of my worlds and characters, that's why I only felt comfortable talking abut my daydreams that are no longer active and even those I don't like to go into detail about. I just figured maybe if I talk about it, even it's just a little bit, it might help someone else out to realize that they are definitely not alone in this.
> 
> Would feel comfortable answering a couple of questions? If not then feel free not to answer them and just ignore me lol.
> 
> ...


I think I've been a maladaptive daydreamer for longer than I realized. It was never to a degree where it interfered with life back in school though. Back then I tended to daydream at recess that I could fly. I also had this "go-to" daydream that I entered when I got mad. I would turn into a massive werewolf and kill all the cruel teachers and kids, but would spare the teachers and kids who were kind. I usually had that daydream after I was bullied in some way.

That one stopped after I graduated 8th grade in 2006. My parents put me in a Christian high school because they were scared I would kill myself if I went to a cruel public high school. During high school my daydreams eased a bit.

In 2010 when I graduated, since I rarely leave my house I started daydreaming *all the time.* I usually walk around the dining room table listening to my iPod, twirling it's wire back and forth.

And to answer your other questions:

I have multiple worlds. My main one and then a couple of others that I don't use as much. I do find it difficult sometimes to go back to older ones. There are a few I outgrew. Then there are some that I can only go to when I'm mad.

I would say it interferes with my life a lot. I can't go to bed nights because my daydreams keep going. Finally I'll look at the clock and see it's 5:00 A.M. or something, and I had gotten no sleep because I daydreamed all night. I even did the DS thing you mentioned. I got into "chats" with my characters on my DS. I did that for awhile.

There was even a time back in 2012 where I got so depressed with life I stayed in my room all day with the lights off and the shades drawn, because I wanted to lie in bed and daydream. I went for a while without showering or brushing my teeth because I didn't care anymore. I wanted to be that main character in my daydream. I didn't want to be me anymore. I would sit in my room in the dark with the tv going, "chatting" on my DS with my characters.

Thankfully, that passed. Though I still do want to be that girl in my daydream.


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## spotholder (Aug 30, 2015)

Seegan said:


> I think I've been a maladaptive daydreamer for longer than I realized. It was never to a degree where it interfered with life back in school though. Back then I tended to daydream at recess that I could fly. I also had this "go-to" daydream that I entered when I got mad. I would turn into a massive werewolf and kill all the cruel teachers and kids, but would spare the teachers and kids who were kind. I usually had that daydream after I was bullied in some way.
> 
> That one stopped after I graduated 8th grade in 2006. My parents put me in a Christian high school because they were scared I would kill myself if I went to a cruel public high school. During high school my daydreams eased a bit.
> 
> ...


I used to have the kill everyone that was mean and spare the nice people day dream as well, It never occurred to me that that might be a part of my maladaptive daydreaming too. I just figured that was something all children do.

I graduated in high school in 2010 as well and until 2013, when I finally worked up enough courage to go to college, I was just home doing pretty much nothing so I would a say that was the most time that I daydreamed.

I'm happy you got pass that time in your life where in interfered with your day to day living, I know sometimes it's easier to just live in the worlds that we create for ourselves.

I too would like to be my daydream. Iv'e been trying to use it as a motivator to be a better me. I try to stay away from thoughts of becoming that person because I know that's not reality, I more so try to use it help me become the person I always wanted to be.


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## Seegan (Mar 24, 2015)

spotholder said:


> I'm happy you got pass that time in your life where in interfered with your day to day living, I know sometimes it's easier to just live in the worlds that we create for ourselves.
> 
> I too would like to be my daydream. Iv'e been trying to use it as a motivator to be a better me. I try to stay away from thoughts of becoming that person because I know that's not reality, I more so try to use it help me become the person I always wanted to be.


Thanks, those were bad days.

I've also been using my main character as a motivator, and it does help with things like going to a store or other public places. I know that a part of me is just like that character, and I think that's why I created her. She's the part of me that my anxiety holds hostage. When I'm around people I'm comfortable with I tend to take on a leader's personality. If it wasn't for my anxiety there's not a doubt in my mind that I could go far in life, starting with college.

I wish I could use that leader's personality in society instead of around a select few people. That's incredibly frustrating. Every once in a while that fearless personality surfaces, but it usually requires a lot of anger on my part. If an annoying person keeps taunting me, for instance, eventually I snap at them regardless of who's around. I even did that to a psychiatrist once who was ignorant and way out of line.

Now if only I could somehow "activate" that part of me permanently... :crying:


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## blueclamcult (Aug 23, 2015)

this is pretty much me. whenever i get into a band member or find an actor particularly attractive they are my day dreaming boyfriend for the next couple of months. i think of interactions and scenes between us etc when im alone or the task im doing at work makes me "switch off". anything to make me feel less lonely and isolated. ive got a celebrity alter ego as well, who is everything i dream of being oh dear.


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## Shy Kitten (Sep 3, 2015)

I find it hard to concentrate on school work because of my day dreaming. It tears my life apart. I wish I could get help. Nothing has worked to stop it, and I don't think anything will. I just have to accept it and live with it. 
I too become very creative with my daydreams; they are very intricate, and extremely emotional. They make me feel anxious and depressed. 
I wish I didn't have it.


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## smokeybirdie (Aug 20, 2015)

Wow, I must be a maladaptive daydreamer as well. I tend to day dream almost all the time, I just can't seem to help it. I have my own characters that I spend time with too, ones that have faded, ones that have stuck around in my mind for years...I also have to daydream the activities I'm doing in real life so I don't get too distracted with my fantasies. 
It's either I have a song stuck in my head, or I'm daydreaming. I can't turn it off, though at this point I don't really want to.


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## Owl Eyes (May 23, 2011)

spotholder said:


> How long have you been a maladaptive day dreamer?
> Do you have multiple or just one?
> If you have had multiple ones do you find it easy or hard to go back to the older ones?
> And does it interfere with your life at all?


-I've been doing it since an extremely young age. I remember as a 3-4 year old I would yell at my brothers to leave me alone when they would ask if they could play with me. I was too busy having a blast in my own world. I'm not sure if that is really considered MD though. I didn't actually start daydreaming as a coping mechanism for anxiety/depression til I was in 7th grade.
-I have multiple daydreams. Some I keep thinking about and continue their story, others I realize aren't that entertaining and I eventually forget about them. 
-It isn't harder to switch between different daydreams for me.
-It affects my life greatly. Even when I am around people, I find myself drifting off. It's like no matter what, real life can't measure up to my daydreams. Once I stop daydreaming and snap back to reality, I feel miserable. I lose a lot of valuable time that should be spent doing productive things. And worst of all, people think I am a schizo when they see me talking and acting out the emotions I am thinking about. It's super embarrassing.


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## spotholder (Aug 30, 2015)

Shy Kitten said:


> I find it hard to concentrate on school work because of my day dreaming. It tears my life apart. I wish I could get help. Nothing has worked to stop it, and I don't think anything will. I just have to accept it and live with it.
> I too become very creative with my daydreams; they are very intricate, and extremely emotional. They make me feel anxious and depressed.
> I wish I didn't have it.


 Have you tried to incorporate the daydream into what you do in your day to day life? I found that helped me a lot to not become so caught up in my worlds. That way I'm not trying to completely stop, which is very hard to do, but at the same time i'm not completely immersed in them.


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## spotholder (Aug 30, 2015)

Seegan said:


> Thanks, those were bad days.
> 
> I've also been using my main character as a motivator, and it does help with things like going to a store or other public places. I know that a part of me is just like that character, and I think that's why I created her. She's the part of me that my anxiety holds hostage. When I'm around people I'm comfortable with I tend to take on a leader's personality. If it wasn't for my anxiety there's not a doubt in my mind that I could go far in life, starting with college.
> 
> ...


I have a hard time keeping my cool sometimes too. When I'm pushed to a certain point I kind of explode, but the entire time i'm still terrified and afterwards I shake so bad from the "backlash", for lack of a better word, of actually speaking freely. 
Do you feel better after you say what you feel or worse?


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## spotholder (Aug 30, 2015)

smokeybirdie said:


> Wow, I must be a maladaptive daydreamer as well. I tend to day dream almost all the time, I just can't seem to help it. I have my own characters that I spend time with too, ones that have faded, ones that have stuck around in my mind for years...I also have to daydream the activities I'm doing in real life so I don't get too distracted with my fantasies.
> It's either I have a song stuck in my head, or I'm daydreaming. I can't turn it off, though at this point I don't really want to.


I'm right there with you with not wanting to turn it off. I'm way to invested in my current daydream. I've spent years creating an attachment to these characters that I don't want to give up. I get sad if I even think about leaving them.


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## spotholder (Aug 30, 2015)

Owl Eyes said:


> -I've been doing it since an extremely young age. I remember as a 3-4 year old I would yell at my brothers to leave me alone when they would ask if they could play with me. I was too busy having a blast in my own world. I'm not sure if that is really considered MD though. I didn't actually start daydreaming as a coping mechanism for anxiety/depression til I was in 7th grade.
> -I have multiple daydreams. Some I keep thinking about and continue their story, others I realize aren't that entertaining and I eventually forget about them.
> -It isn't harder to switch between different daydreams for me.
> -It affects my life greatly. Even when I am around people, I find myself drifting off. It's like no matter what, real life can't measure up to my daydreams. Once I stop daydreaming and snap back to reality, I feel miserable. I lose a lot of valuable time that should be spent doing productive things. And worst of all, people think I am a schizo when they see me talking and acting out the emotions I am thinking about. It's super embarrassing.


Are you still in school, if you don't mind me asking? 
Because when I was still in school I spent a lot more time with daydreams than I do now. I think that now that I have a job I can't really spend so much time with them because I'm so focused on work when I'm at work and when I get off work all I want to do is read (another one of my coping mechanisms). I also have pets (a dog, 2 rats, and a new baby iguana) and I absolutely love animals, so taking care of them gives me another reason to not get so lost in my worlds and makes it easier to incorporate the daydreams into what i'm doing.


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## LokiMcGregor (Sep 12, 2015)

I do this too, and don't want to give them up. Also I don't like talking about them, or even telling people I do it, but I'll say it here. This one time my aunt was telling me about something she did and I almost said "oh yeah, my friend Gerard did that once". I didn't even start saying it, I just kind of "prepared to start" and I was like "geez, I'm going nuts". I kind of have more than one that I go back and forth to, but I'm not going to get into them.


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## lindar (Sep 13, 2015)

spotholder said:


> This is going to be a long one, so just bear with me.
> 
> Okay, so this is bit of a challenge for me.
> I don't know if its just me or other maladaptive daydreamers feel the same way, but I am very attached and protective of the worlds I create for myself. So to talk about them is a little hard for me.
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lindar (Sep 13, 2015)

I've daydreams my whole life. More like clicking off. Shutting down. No pictures. But I have a social disorder . Anxiety. Insomnia. In high school it was really bad. I had a sister I was close to. She would tell me know one liked me because I was to smart. So. I played stupid ,became popular. I was all so pretty. Didn't help the anxiety . Pretty isn't easy ! Couldn't sleep. Day dreamed. Felt disconnected. I found Jesus a few months ago ,this help me see things differently. But now I don't feel worthy enough ! Geesh !!! When does this end.? I keep moving because I don't know where I belong ! And this is all from a social disorder ? Why do people hide these things ? It's real so happy I found this site ! Thanks
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lindar (Sep 13, 2015)

I never tell anyone I daydream ! But close people have noticed . Do most people dream stories ?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Owl Eyes (May 23, 2011)

spotholder said:


> Are you still in school, if you don't mind me asking?
> Because when I was still in school I spent a lot more time with daydreams than I do now. I think that now that I have a job I can't really spend so much time with them because I'm so focused on work when I'm at work and when I get off work all I want to do is read (another one of my coping mechanisms). I also have pets (a dog, 2 rats, and a new baby iguana) and I absolutely love animals, so taking care of them gives me another reason to not get so lost in my worlds and makes it easier to incorporate the daydreams into what i'm doing.


I am in college and work part time. My job has no mental stimulation whatsoever and I barely talk to anyone all day. So this causes me to spend a lot of time daydreaming. I noticed that while I'm in class I can stop daydreaming and focus. In high school I would dd all day but now I actually care about my grades so I've toned it down a lot in college.


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

I've been doing this for the past 7 years, interesting to know there is a name for it.

I really need to write down these stories in my head. All the characters and plotlines. It's quite vivid and detailed.


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## kttn (Nov 5, 2015)

This post caught my attention, because it's less common to find people who also have maladaptive daydreaming disorder. 

I've been daydreaming since I was really little, I'm pretty sure it's always been a coping mechanism for me. I'm also autistic so my daydreams usually revolve around my special interests at the time. 

About the daydreaming before you go to sleep, I do the same too and I always find it keeps me up longer. If I watch something I start to feel sleepy, whereas if I daydream it seems to hype my mind up and I'm wide awake for hours. What I usually try to do is get my daydreams out of the way first, and then I watch something to try and make myself tired. Although, it doesn't work out that way all the time!

I usually incorporate daydreams into my daily life too, I like to imagine myself as a certain character when I'm around others, brings my confidence up a little, and helps crappy self esteem issues slightly. Or I spend my time plotting my daydreams out for later that night, when I can express them properly with facial expressions. Either way, they preoccupy the majority of my thoughts.

I find it hard to give up my daydreams, and I wouldn't either. I love being able to daydream, but I don't like the part where you get so attached to who you are, the world, and the characters, because It makes real life feel so dull compared to them. I get so involved in my daydreams that when someone calls me by my real name, or I look into the mirror; it's a harsh reality check.

I'm always interested in reading about others daydreams, so thanks for sharing!


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## klvmm (Sep 16, 2015)

This literally explained what I go through everyday. I day dream excessively and I also have my own world with a intricate back story and fleshed out characters. However, I would say it was a lot worse when I was a child, as sometimes my dreams would blur with reality and leave me really confused. I remember having a incredibly stupid dream about it being world donut day (I warned you it was ridiculous) and the school gave everybody a donut. However, there was a new girl and because i came to school late, my donut was given to the girl and I just stood their crying my eyes out. When I woke up the next day, my dad asked me why I was crying. I didn't think much of it then, but ever since then I remember it so vividly, like it actually happened. I have a feeling the dream might have been symbolic for something, but then again, there's a bigger chance it didn't mean anything.


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## VanDamme (Jun 8, 2004)

klvmm said:


> This literally explained what I go through everyday. I day dream excessively and I also have my own world with a intricate back story and fleshed out characters. However, I would say it was a lot worse when I was a child, as sometimes my dreams would blur with reality and leave me really confused. I remember having a incredibly stupid dream about it being world donut day (I warned you it was ridiculous) and the school gave everybody a donut. However, there was a new girl and because i came to school late, my donut was given to the girl and I just stood their crying my eyes out. When I woke up the next day, my dad asked me why I was crying. I didn't think much of it then, but ever since then I remember it so vividly, like it actually happened. I have a feeling the dream might have been symbolic for something, but then again, there's a bigger chance it didn't mean anything.


The brain can do some strange things sometimes and in a way that symbolism would make sense - e.g. maybe the new girl being more popular than you so she received more attention and you felt left out.

I remember a therapist incorporating dreams into therapy. But focusing on the emotional aspects and not the dream content. I also found a similar correlation. When I felt worried or stressed about things, then my dreams weren't very peaceful. But when I accomplished something or things were going well, then I would frequently fly and feel free in my dreams.


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## Blag (Dec 12, 2014)

I think i might've had something similar. But those were just episodes of my life, and they've subsided. Hmm...


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## Anxiolytic (Nov 20, 2014)

I've literally never heard of this interesting phenomenon. Very peculiar, I must admit. Have any of you taken mind-altering substances? Psychedelics, dissociatives, or even marijuana? Did it have an effect on your daydreams? I ask because I can see that being potentially very problematic.

This is a hard concept for me to grasp. So the research begins. It sounds like a great escape TBCH, you guys possess the power to flee reality through your mind without the influence of narcotics. I'm jealous! Lmao.


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## spotholder (Aug 30, 2015)

kttn said:


> Or I spend my time plotting my daydreams out for later that night, when I can express them properly with facial expressions. Either way, they preoccupy the majority of my thoughts.


I do this as well. When I really get into a daydream but real life comes barging in and I can't do all that I want at the moment so I have to put my day dreams on the back burner for a while. I hate when I forget something that I wanted to do in my day dream, does that ever happen to you?


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## spotholder (Aug 30, 2015)

Anxiolytic said:


> I've literally never heard of this interesting phenomenon. Very peculiar, I must admit. Have any of you taken mind-altering substances? Psychedelics, dissociatives, or even marijuana? Did it have an effect on your daydreams? I ask because I can see that being potentially very problematic.
> 
> This is a hard concept for me to grasp. So the research begins. It sounds like a great escape TBCH, you guys possess the power to flee reality through your mind without the influence of narcotics. I'm jealous! Lmao.


I can't speak for everyone, but no, I have never taken any mind-altering substances. No psychedelics, dissociatives, or marijuana. 
My fear is that if I do it will take my anxiety away for a little while and i'll like the feeling too much and won't be able to stop. So I don't just to be safe.


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## spotholder (Aug 30, 2015)

I would just to take a moment to say that all of your responses have made me so incredibly happy. For a while I thought I was the only one who did this (before I knew that this had a name) but when I found it had a name and that others did it too I still wasn't able to talk about it like I wanted to and I knew there had to be others that felt the same. That's the reason why I posted this in the first place, to help others know that they are not alone, but it ended up doing the same for me. Its one thing to know others do this as well, but another thing entirely to be able to freely talk about with you guys, so thanks so much for all your responses!


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## Saturosgs (Oct 19, 2015)

Yes! I know exactly what you're talking about. And I've been doing it since I was five years old. It started with the Power Rangers. I loved the show at that age and I'd think up my own storylines, there'd be new characters, they'd have siblings, the whole nine yards.

Then it was wrestling. I started thinking up storylines, and the same thing. But this time, the wrestler would have brothers, sisters, parents, I even went back to how they grew up(and it'd be the perfect upbringing). It wasn't just them as the wrestler, the person, the actual person behind the wrestler. Their entire life. I created, and still remember, their entire fictitious life that I made for them. 

I do it with some sports now. And my character has a whole life, I've thought up entire games, plays, the jersey numbers, so much stuff, who his favorite teammates are. And like you I think about this right before bed as I doze off somewhere through. Also in the morning when I'm sleepy. I used to do this while I worked at a braindead job. 

I know its a coping mechanism. This is actually the first time I've ever talked about it. It's kinda sad how much time I've wasted on it. Do you think I should stop?


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## longtimenolove (Oct 21, 2015)

I didn't even know this was a thing, but it's me. It keeps me from going into deep depressions. There have been times where I thought I needed to face the world and stop daydreaming, but stopping leads me into a horrid depressive state. This daydreaming this me alive. I do miss my imaginary friend I had in the 4th grade. My grandma said it was the devil trying to get into my mind so I had to drop her.


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

I've come to believe I have a degree(s) of maladaptive daydreaming.

I have my fantasies of being with people and traveling with them and spending an hour(s) going through scenarios. Beach of Greece, immersed in the culture of Seoul, South Korea and things like that. But I also have a do-this list that I do. Like with books and comics and movies and tv shows and games... I'll go through what I own or would like to own and be like, "I'll watch/play/read this/that, then watch/play/read this/that, ad nauseum." I'll do it till I'm bored or get distracted, then I might start over. I've only ever felt a sense of completing my lists a couple times. But I do it regularly. It takes up my time to where I don't get around to actually watch/play/read the things I'd like. It's crazy.

I mentioned it to my therapist because I was concerned and she gave me a curious look, like she didn't quite understand. And come to find out through research is that it's not actually a medical condition that's documented and recognized. :/ Little discouraging.

I like my imagination. I love it. But sometimes I want it to stop. Just shut the Hell up for a couple hours or something. It kinda sucks.


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## RiversBetweenUs (Nov 22, 2015)

I have this. It's a huge time waster. I often daydream about the worlds I write about, conversations with others that will never happen, being successful, crushes, etc. 

I think it's a coping mechanism for loneliness, for me at least. Daydreaming helps me avoid dealing with stress. I started doing it when I was 13. I had no friends and was severely depressed with my lack of a social life.

I think they come from me being an over thinker. My mind is not quiet and from what I gather, majority of people don't have this issue.

I wish I didn't have this problem either. Daydreaming is bit of an addiction for me. I would accomplish so much more if I spent less time daydreaming and more time doing.

It's hard for me to want to be around people because I have this need to daydream, which I can only do when alone. If I don't get that alone time for daydreaming... I get kind of irritable, like it's withdrawal. 

It's a problem I would prefer not to have.


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## LolaCola (Nov 29, 2015)

This is my first time posting, so I'm hoping I'm doing this right? I have only recently discovered that there was actually a name for this daydreaming which I do, and finding this forum has made me feel a lot better about not being the only one! 
As much as I enjoy daydreaming and the characters which I have created and developed, it has had such a huge impact on my work ethic and grades that I find myself hating it at the same time. Like Riversbetweenus, I find it a huge time waster, and could easily do it for hours on end. 

Is anyone else worried that they will think this way for the rest of their lives, and that it will impact on relationships, work etc? I really want to stop, but I'm too connected to my characters and stories to let myself.


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## Quatermass (Oct 6, 2013)

I used to daydream quite a lot in the past. Actually, I still do, but not in the same way. 

My daydreams were not elaborate stories with multiple characters, rather just myself living under more favorable circumstances and being able to do pretty much what I wanted to do. If I saw an interesting house somewhere I could spend hours upon hours imagining that I lived in that house, and so on. Same thing could happen with a city, a certaing hobby or really anything that I found interesting. Ever since I moved to my own place in my mid 20's, Ive spent most of my time alone. Daydreaming used to provide great distraction and it probably kept me from getting too depresssed over the years. In my real life I hardly did anything. I had no money and I just stayed at home in front of my computer most of the time. 

But about 10 years ago, I tried to straighten things out and build a real life outside of my dreams. It seemed to be working for a while. But in the end, it lead to a really brutal clash with reality, which left me deeply discouraged and depressed. As I've been trying to pick up the pieces in the last few years, I've found that daydreaming doesn't give me the same satisfaction it used to do. It works for a while, but soon it becomes more of a grim reminder that I'll probably never have or experience anything of what I used to dream of.

I'm sorry if this is depressing, but this is my experience. I've spend most of my life living in fantasy. Every attempt I've made to enter the real world has ended in a pretty spectacular failure. It's like I'm just not made for real life.


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## spotholder (Aug 30, 2015)

Saturosgs said:


> Yes! I know exactly what you're talking about. And I've been doing it since I was five years old. It started with the Power Rangers. I loved the show at that age and I'd think up my own storylines, there'd be new characters, they'd have siblings, the whole nine yards.
> 
> Then it was wrestling. I started thinking up storylines, and the same thing. But this time, the wrestler would have brothers, sisters, parents, I even went back to how they grew up(and it'd be the perfect upbringing). It wasn't just them as the wrestler, the person, the actual person behind the wrestler. Their entire life. I created, and still remember, their entire fictitious life that I made for them.
> 
> ...


I think you should do whatever makes you the most comfortable, if you're happy with day dreams and they aren't a major hindrance on your life I don't think you should force yourself to stop. You started doing it for a reason, and what that reason is, it's still going to be there whether yo force yourself to stop or not.

I personally feel that when the time is right I will probably part ways with them, but it will happen naturally. When I was in college and a bit more of a social life than I have now I spent way less time with them, but it felt natural and not forced, so it was easier to spend less time with them. 
I'm not sure if i'll ever get to a point in my life where I no longer need them entirely, but I would be so sad to stop now when I clearly need them for something.


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## spotholder (Aug 30, 2015)

Quatermass said:


> I used to daydream quite a lot in the past. Actually, I still do, but not in the same way.
> 
> My daydreams were not elaborate stories with multiple characters, rather just myself living under more favorable circumstances and being able to do pretty much what I wanted to do. If I saw an interesting house somewhere I could spend hours upon hours imagining that I lived in that house, and so on. Same thing could happen with a city, a certaing hobby or really anything that I found interesting. Ever since I moved to my own place in my mid 20's, Ive spent most of my time alone. Daydreaming used to provide great distraction and it probably kept me from getting too depresssed over the years. In my real life I hardly did anything. I had no money and I just stayed at home in front of my computer most of the time.
> 
> ...


I too am about to start living on my own for the first time ever, so I don't know what will happen when I o take that step but I think I've come to peace with the fact that my day dreams will never become reality at a very young age because I can't recall a time when I was disappointed in real work not matching them.

I try to use my main characters ( the one that's "me" in the daydream) as a source of inspiration of who I could be one day, or if I'm in a difficult situation I try to channel the main to get me through it.

Have you tried to use your characters as motivators?


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## spotholder (Aug 30, 2015)

LolaCola said:


> This is my first time posting, so I'm hoping I'm doing this right? I have only recently discovered that there was actually a name for this daydreaming which I do, and finding this forum has made me feel a lot better about not being the only one!
> As much as I enjoy daydreaming and the characters which I have created and developed, it has had such a huge impact on my work ethic and grades that I find myself hating it at the same time. Like Riversbetweenus, I find it a huge time waster, and could easily do it for hours on end.
> 
> Is anyone else worried that they will think this way for the rest of their lives, and that it will impact on relationships, work etc? I really want to stop, but I'm too connected to my characters and stories to let myself.


As a said to Saturosgs I personally feel that when the time is right I will probably part ways, or significantly cut down my time with them, but it will happen naturally. 
When I was in college and a bit more of a social life than I have now I spent way less time with them, but it felt natural and not forced, so it was easier to spend less time with them, because the time I would usually spend with them was being filled. 
I'm not sure if i'll ever get to a point in my life where I no longer need them entirely, but I would be so sad to stop now when I clearly need them for something.

If you really want to stop, I think you should try filling your time with something else, for me yoga stops me from thinking all together, the same for when I do my art.

Have you ever found an activity that stops them?


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## Quatermass (Oct 6, 2013)

spotholder said:


> Have you tried to use your characters as motivators?


I suppose I do to some extent, or at least I did in the past. But it's one thing to dream of a better life and a whole different thing to acheive it. There are many steps in between and it just seems insurmountable.


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