# My Story about slowly overcoming SA



## wjc75225 (Jul 24, 2010)

I have been watching these forums for some time now, but have just now decided to sign up. I've always been the "quiet kid" from grade school until now. Our high school had some pretty stupid "rankings" for the senior yearbook. I was rated "most reclusive" .. Harsh, and it made me feel bad for awhile. My parents were appalled that they would put something like that in the year book. I’m from TX, and I went to Oklahoma State for one semester thinking that maybe I could leave my social anxiety behind. My social anxiety/awkwardness went through the roof, so it didn’t work like that. Plus a lot of crap happened there, and I don’t like small towns very much. I lived the rest of my college life with my parents and went to SMU in Dallas (B.S in electrical engineering and mathematics). Obviously, living with my parents doesn’t expose me to anxiety producing social things that would happen in a dorm, so my anxiety was a little better, but not great. I made just a couple of good friends at SMU, which I’m thankful for. However, I had a doctor pumping every SSRI, antipsychotic, etc he had his hands on down my throat. In all honesty, I think SSRI’s made anxiety much, much worse for me. I know they work for a lot of people, just not me. I switched my doctor, and I see a therapist. They are doing SO much better for me. I advise people to go to doctors who are NOT affiliated in any way with drug companies. The new doctor actually LISTENS to his patients without just handing out prescriptions left and right. I’m off the SSRI’s. I take Klonopin and Inderal. These drugs work for me. They at least take the edge off, but I knew this just wasn’t enough to overcome SA. I went to UT-Dallas for a little bit to start up my M.S. degree in computer engineering. I started becoming depressed because I realized that engineering is just not what I want to do for my career. I felt like undergrad was a complete waste because I just had a major change of heart of what I want to do with my life. Then, I started thinking about the positives (people with SA tend to only focus on the negatives). In undergraduate school, I learned analytical skills, a new way of thinking, I met a couple of friends, and I proved that I could start and finish something. Ok, so I do have some valuable skills even if I’m not interested in doing engineering anymore. Now, comes the hard part. I want/need to build my confidence and people skills. Now that I decided to not go to upper level school, what is the scariest job I could think of that would require me to talk to people every day? I decided to jump into the shark tank and take a door-to-door sales job. Holy ****. I first shadowed a girl just watching how she did it. Anxiety was high during the first several doors even though she was doing the work. She even mentioned I was quiet. I just smiled. As the day progressed, each door seemed less scary. Then they start training me how to sell. I am still learning, and now I HAVE to present the product while the person training me is watching/helping if I get stuck. Again, anxiety is through the roof for the first several doors, and it diminished throughout the day. Just in a week, I have learned a lot not only about sales, but about myself. I CAN slowly defeat this. It’s scary as **** at first, but then you get used to rejection. You almost become numb to it where you don’t care, you just move on to the next house. People just don’t seem that hard to talk to anymore. I’m sure I’ll be scared when I'm doing sales on my own, but the victory of that one person who buys the product means mission accomplished. I mean, who would want to buy something from someone who looks super anxious? EXPOSURE is really the only way to defeat this in my opinion. AND this is the biggest exposure to SA that I could possibly imagine. It’s only taken a week, and I feel more confident and better about myself. This is like therapy that pays me. It’s 100% commission, but I’m not really in it for the money, I’m in it to defeat SA once and for all. Then, I can move on to bigger careers than d2d sales. I believe if you can do d2d sales, you can do anything! I’m writing this so early in the morning because I hope the best for everyone, and I know how bad SA can be. It’s like I’m high from knowing that SA can be defeated. Before, I felt no hope. They really train you how to stay positive and how to “not care” if you get the sale. If you don’t care, then you’re acting less like a salesman, and the person is actually MORE likely to buy from you. .. Anyways, I hope someone takes away something from my post.


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## contranigma (Jun 24, 2009)

I like your approach and I agree that exposure is probably the way to go and that there are different methods to achieve exposure. For me, I think someday I'll try to take on community theatre for similar "therapy". Now, I've just finished my undergrad and am still focusing on more school starting this fall, so this is why I say maybe in the future I'll try this method. I'm glad you've found something that is working for you.


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## wjc75225 (Jul 24, 2010)

Thanks, contranigma. I think it's all about forcing yourself to get out there no matter how scared you are. I want to achieve big things in my life, and I don't want SA to hold me back anymore! I'm 23, and it's time I change. I know I'll never be the life of the party, but I will get rid of SA. Sales is a lot about small talk. This place I work for calls it CPR .. "Create personal relations" .. I kind of despise small talk, but you'd be surprise how far it can take you. If you are selling something, they are more likely to buy. Heck, interviewing for a job is selling yourself, so it works in that sense, too. Creating contacts and networking really opens up opportunities and let's you grow as a person. This place has already taught me how to not care so much about what people think, which is a major step in the right direction.

Contranigma, you should totally go for it! It will be great for you. How severe is your SA, if I may ask? I've learned a lot and want to share knowledge with people. I went from about an 8/10 to 6/10 just with constant exposure these couple of weeks. My goal is to get to 4/10 in a month. If I ever become mega-rich, I'm definitely going to fund up a SA help place or something of the sorts.


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## contranigma (Jun 24, 2009)

It's hard to judge what my level of SA is. I'm very reclusive, but when I do have to socialize I think I manage pretty well. So maybe it's like a 7/10. You should post an update in a month and let us know if you've reached your goal.


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## wjc75225 (Jul 24, 2010)

I see, cool. Ya, I am pretty reclusive, myself. That's why I took this job .. So I was forced to go out and interact daily. After awhile, it's actually fun to meet new people and hear their stories.

Yup, that's what I plan to do! If I don't reach it, I'll know I still have things to work on, but it's just a matter of time imo.


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## toughcookie (Jul 21, 2010)

Thank you for this post  This reminds me when I worked in retail and my anxiety levels went down when I was working the cash register. Great advice


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## Mae West (Sep 15, 2005)

Great thread! Congratulations on reducing your SA! My SA has reduced over the years and I agree that exposure is the best way to make a person feel more comfortable in social situations.


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