# First SA therapy appointment



## azlyn (Mar 19, 2012)

I was way more anxious then I thought I was going to be. I was upset before the appointment because I had to ask someone else to go with me and I felt like I was being an inconvenience. That made me generally upset when I went in to talk to her. 

She was very nice but I was only able to just hint at what the issues were. She would respond with general explanations which I felt didn't quite fit. It's so hard for me to verbalize this with other people. Part of it is the huge deal of having point out everything that's "wrong" with me to totally strangers :um and the other part is I have avoided these feelings and blocked them out for so long that I don't know how to accurately describe them because I feel like I am looking at them for the first time. :sus

I'm just hoping I will be able to express myself better in up coming appointments. :sigh


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## HopefulSeeker (Mar 1, 2012)

I would not be hard on yourself. It's a big step that you have taken. Just do your best to talk about how you feel, and your past experiences and circumstances. Let her tie the threads together and come back with the high level commentary or response, and then give her words some thought. 

These are human beings who have some past experience working with people. Some therapists will be able to help, but they have their own issues and problems too. I would not put them on a pedestal. 

I went to three sessions with my therapist. She was bright, and able to come up with big picture summaries, and that helped me think things through. I need to begin paying, and her rate is quite expensive at $150 per hr. So I'll think about future sessions before I act. 

I'd be proud of yourself, and try not to be defensive, or self critical. You are who you are, and that's a product of all of the experiences you have. Let yourself be yourself, and she'll then be in a better position to assist. And if it doesn't work, perhaps a different therapist might be in order. 

Seeker


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## Shredder (Apr 19, 2011)

azlyn said:


> I was way more anxious then I thought I was going to be. I was upset before the appointment because I had to ask someone else to go with me and I felt like I was being an inconvenience. That made me generally upset when I went in to talk to her.
> 
> She was very nice but I was only able to just hint at what the issues were. She would respond with general explanations which I felt didn't quite fit. It's so hard for me to verbalize this with other people. Part of it is the huge deal of having point out everything that's "wrong" with me to totally strangers :um and the other part is I have avoided these feelings and blocked them out for so long that I don't know how to accurately describe them because I feel like I am looking at them for the first time. :sus
> 
> I'm just hoping I will be able to express myself better in up coming appointments. :sigh


Your first experience sounds similar to mine. Ive been going to therapy for quite a while now and I can tell you that it does get easier. For me, the occasional doubts (e.g at the explanations that dont quite fit) havent really gone away but Im starting to actually express them to my therapist. This is very challenging for me and is probably something I would never have done before I started. Keep in mind that she wont know much from your first visit. It will take time to get to know what makes you "tick". If you stick with it Im sure she will provide some explanations that make complete sense. (if not, you may need to find someone else!)
I also associate with your not being able to express what you feel. Ive found keeping a mood journal helps. I still cant really verbalise it so I just cheat by reading my journal notes to my therapist  Anyway good luck with it. Keep in mind that therapy works best the more you open up to them and this might take time until youre comfortable.


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

Deleted


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## kpx0 (Mar 12, 2012)

It took my therapist 5 appointments to figure what kind of therapy to start, because it was so hard for me to talk about it. And no it wasn't to pump me for money, as it is a free therapist at university.


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