# I had to quit my job because I can't build good relationships with people.



## Hrc512 (Dec 4, 2017)

I recently worked at a factory for four months but I had to quit because people began to realize how strange I am. At first people were very nice to me and tried to connect with me on personal level, but after realizing that I don't say much everyone began to distance themselves from me as much as possible. This happens everywhere I go and I'm worried that I'm just an unlikable person. Does anyone else have this problem?


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## wormliberated (May 6, 2018)

I completely understand! At my current job most of my coworkers avoid me or don't make any attempt to get to know me, although we haven't even talked much. 

I doubt that you're just an unlikable person, but people often don't understand why others act distant or don't talk much. One of my bosses used to treat me pretty poorly because of my distant/strange? nature until I was pretty much forced to have a conservation with her about my social anxiety disorder. Behavior like that is just outside of what's generally considered to be normal, so it can make people distrust you or think something's wrong with you, when in reality you can't help it. 

I'm not sure what advice to give you, but please don't think that your situation is caused because you're unlikable. People might just have a difficult time understanding you/your behavior. It doesn't reflect on who you are or your character.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Unless your job mandates that you interact with your coworkers to be effective or to progress, I'd honestly put your needs to remain employed ahead of your needs to be part of the crowd.

If I don't take the effort to approach others, I could go a long time before someone seeks me out. I can get nice "hellos" in the hallway, but otherwise I'm a non-entity for the most part.

Since I know that it's me that causes this, I'd never change jobs because it'd just happen somewhere else unless I developed the necessary skills or dropped this aura I must have to change the outcome.

Sometimes there are weaknesses we accept and manage, even if we can't change them. That can lead to some level of peace.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

It really doesn't matter terribly, as long as they keep paying you. Jobs are for making money, not friends.


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## BackToThePast (Aug 31, 2012)

Hopefully you have plenty of opportunities down the road. I would honestly not worry too much about fitting in at the workplace. I view my job as a means to survive, so that takes priority over whatever I might be feeling about my social standing. Also my workplace relationships are completely different from personal relationships. I do everything I can to avoid workplace conflict, whereas with personal matters I might be more uninhibited and free-willing. It's good to get into that mindset of separation so you can prioritize things that you perceive to matter the most.

Maybe you could find a club or a group where you have mutual interests and get to know people through those avenues. Something to look forward to during the weekends.


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## Hrc512 (Dec 4, 2017)

I would have stayed at this job but it seems like everyone tried to make my job a living hell. No one really wanted to work with me so I was stuck working a two man job and getting paid the same. This actually wasn't my main motivation for quitting. Someone tried to hit me with a lift truck but there was no way I could prove it, even though I tried to tell my supervisor. If people didn't hate me before, they would have after accusing someone of doing that. I understand what you're saying though. It will be like this anywhere I go.


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## veron (Apr 29, 2009)

Hrc512 said:


> It will be like this anywhere I go.


Not unless you change.

Having worked with somebody who said next to nothing, I understand how people like this come across (I was like this too back in school, when I was selectively mute). It's human nature for people to be suspicious and uncomfortable around people who don't talk, you can't change it. But you can work on your social skills. Nobody expects you to be a social butterfly. You don't have to talk all the time, but just saying something once in a while will go a long way in terms of people being more comfortable around you. Ask people how they're doing, comment on the work you're doing, etc.


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## Pbrown003 (Jul 18, 2018)

veron said:


> Hrc512 said:
> 
> 
> > It will be like this anywhere I go.
> ...


Haha I been trying that also ..a simple hi even that is daunting and weird. I get that "ooooh she talks" looks lol


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## herk (Dec 10, 2012)

yeah this is a bummer. my anxiety and issues with socializing make it hard for people to get to know me. i'm just too naturally introverted, and quiet because of my avoidant tendencies, my brain trying to prevent painful experiences. i haven't made too many friends, but i'm friendly with most people i guess. enough to get by, but i'm definitely still one of the quiet people there, who barely anyone knows much about. but whatever it's better for me than being at home all the time, and along with the money this is why i haven't quit. i do have one good friend though who i sit with at breaks every day, and sometimes a few others who are aight.


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