# Is there any guy who wants to be friend with a girl without having sex?



## hannah1988 (Dec 15, 2015)

Hey all,

I am new in this forum. I am wondering if all guys look for sex in the relationship? Is there a guy who may marry a girl without having sex before marriage?

I am 27-year-old and because of my personal believes I never had boy-friend(and sex). Now I feel like I need someone for the rest of my life to be friend... to share my happiness and etc.


----------



## binckie (Dec 4, 2015)

hannah1988 said:


> Hey all,
> 
> I am new in this forum. I am wondering if all guys look for sex in the relationship? Is there a guy who may marry a girl without having sex before marriage?
> 
> I am 27-year-old and because of my personal believes I never had boy-friend(and sex). Now I feel like I need someone for the rest of my life to be friend... to share my happiness and etc.


It is rare, but there are some people out there (also boys) that do not need sex before marriage.


----------



## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

There are plenty of christian guys who would wait for a girl and other non-religious guys that would also wait. I think I would wait for a girl if we had a pretty good connection.


----------



## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

*



Is there any guy who wants to be friend with a girl without having sex?

Click to expand...

*Yeah - if she's 70.


----------



## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

Some guys will and some guys wont.


----------



## JohnDoe26 (Jun 6, 2012)

hannah1988 said:


> Hey all,
> 
> I am new in this forum. I am wondering if all guys look for sex in the relationship? Is there a guy who may marry a girl without having sex before marriage?
> 
> I am 27-year-old and because of my personal believes I never had boy-friend(and sex). Now I feel like I need someone for the rest of my life to be friend... to share my happiness and etc.


Have you tried Christian Singles dating site?


----------



## Owlbear (Dec 3, 2015)

Why is everyone assuming she's Christian?

And there's plenty of other ways of enjoying yourselves besides straight-up sex.


----------



## hannah1988 (Dec 15, 2015)

Thanks all for your replies.

JohnDoe26: No, I have not tried "Christian Singles dating site". I will register there. Thank you


----------



## hannah1988 (Dec 15, 2015)

mollitor: I am not Christian. But, as long as no sex is involved, I am okay with all religions.


----------



## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

No
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

Yeah I've been friends with women who I had no attraction to at all and thought of them of one the guys. It's when they start liking me more than just friends and I'm like dude eww, no, you're like a dude, no.


----------



## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

I can't even maintain loyal friendships with my own gender. I don't believe it would work out for me with the opposite sex.


----------



## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

Farideh said:


> I can't even maintain loyal friendships with my own gender. I don't believe it would work out for me with the opposite sex.


This.


----------



## MiMiK (Aug 25, 2011)

hannah1988 said:


> mollitor: I am not Christian. But, as long as no sex is involved, I am okay with all religions.


\why is that? just curious


----------



## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

maybe. will be differnt from person to person. 

its hard to tell. maybe the guy may agree at first not to want to., but after he has been with you and warms more to you, then it might stray onto his mind .... unless he will/ can be satisfied 100% by whacking himself off. 

and also it depends if hes attracted to you or not. maybe the best chance might be to befriend a gay guy lol


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Wait are you looking for a male friend, or an asexual relationship? Your post is kind of vague. You can definitely find a male friend, but asexual relationships are harder to come by though not impossible. Ideally find a guy who is asexual.


----------



## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

I think there are dating sites for asexuals.


----------



## Silere (Oct 19, 2014)

I'm sure there are guys who share your personal beliefs, or are willing to not have sex until marriage. As for me, I would have been happy to spend the rest of my life with someone I love, with or without sex.


----------



## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

There are guys that are just looking for a close friendship with a woman, if that's what you mean?


For pretty much all my life, most (not all) of my friendships have been with women, and the relationships were defined as "friends" or "close friends" without any expectation of sex. There was a circle of friends I hung out with in hs, and within that circle there were three girls and myself that pretty much did everything together, except have sex lol. Through my college years my best friend was a woman I worked with, for years, and there was never any expectation of sex....until near the end of it when she actually came onto me, not the other way around. I have a close friend I met on this site, and we talk, text, Skype, and there's no expectation of sex.


I'm really not sure if you want a friendship without sex, or a romantic relationship without sex? Either way, there are def men out there that would be happy with one or the other.


----------



## hannah1988 (Dec 15, 2015)

Thanks all for your replies.
MiMiK: it is a personal reason. I want a man to like me for my personality not because of sexual attractiveness. If close friendship (without sex) continues, the it is a true love. At least for a very long time, I do not want to have sex.


----------



## MCHB (Jan 1, 2013)

Honestly, I think the best relationships start as friendships. I could care less about sex and would way rather have a friend to get out and do stuff with...granted, I don't have any personal beliefs regarding it, I just know I don't need it.

Now coffee on the other hand...


----------



## Staticnz (Mar 25, 2013)

Yes absolutely. Hi.


----------



## Grog (Sep 13, 2013)

How do joy feel about BJs ?


----------



## DistraughtOwl (Mar 1, 2014)

You're 27 maybe you should stop being such a prude about sex. I don't want to get married so sex would be very important to me. I see no reason to hold out if things are going well. I can wait more than a few months however. As far as waiting years no **** that.


----------



## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

$10 says 3 years from now she will be dating and having regular sex with a high school dropout who rides a motorcycle.


----------



## hannah1988 (Dec 15, 2015)

I do not say sex is bad or breaks the good relationship.
I am touchy person and want to have sex with someone whom I trust, someone who I love and also he loves me, someone who stays beside me in happiness and sadness.
I have not met the right person and I do not know when this will happen!


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

LichtLune said:


> You're 27 maybe you should stop being such a prude about sex. I don't want to get married so sex would be very important to me. I see no reason to hold out if things are going well. I can wait more than a few months however. As far as waiting years no **** that.


I realize she's already answered for herself, but it's kind of jumping to conclusions to say she's a "prude" just because she wants to wait. If somebody who really likes sex shouldn't be judged as being too easy or sl*tty, then why should somebody who's more cautious, or not into it, be judged as a "prude"...? :|

I don't want sex whatsoever but am hardly a prude (I write really graphic smutty fiction, for example), it's just not what I'm into. I felt this way at 27, and I feel this way now, so I'm _pretty sure_ that this preference won't change any time soon. :/



knightofdespair said:


> $10 says 3 years from now she will be dating and having regular sex with a high school dropout who rides a motorcycle.


Presumptuous and rude. And in some cases (such as mine), utterly wrong.


----------



## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

tehuti88 said:


> Presumptuous and rude. And in some cases (such as mine), utterly wrong.


Only time will tell.


----------



## AnonymousPersonG (Nov 5, 2014)

No. No heterosexual male will not want sex with a female friend unless you are unbearably ugly or old. Sorry, just stating the facts.
Many will respect your personal beliefs however and wait for when you're ready. You've just gotta find the right man.


----------



## DistraughtOwl (Mar 1, 2014)

AnonymousPersonG said:


> No. No heterosexual male will not want sex with a female friend unless you are unbearably ugly or old. Sorry, just stating the facts.
> Many will respect your personal beliefs however and wait for when you're ready. You've just gotta find the right man.


"Age: 12" o.o


----------



## Surly Wurly (May 9, 2015)

hannah1988 said:


> Hey all,
> 
> I am new in this forum. I am wondering if all guys look for sex in the relationship? Is there a guy who may marry a girl without having sex before marriage?
> 
> I am 27-year-old and because of my personal believes I never had boy-friend(and sex). Now I feel like I need someone for the rest of my life to be friend... to share my happiness and etc.


for the sake of perspective, i'd say that 99.901% of male SAS users befriend loads of girls on here and never have sex with any of them


----------



## Vicious777 (Dec 13, 2015)

hannah1988 said:


> Hey all,
> 
> I am new in this forum. I am wondering if all guys look for sex in the relationship? Is there a guy who may marry a girl without having sex before marriage?
> 
> I am 27-year-old and because of my personal believes I never had boy-friend(and sex). Now I feel like I need someone for the rest of my life to be friend... to share my happiness and etc.


For me personally, sex takes a back seat to love/emotional attraction. When it comes to a girl, I can wait for marriage for sex no problem since it really isn't my main concern. For me, physical attraction is only about 25% of what matters in a girl. The other 75% is mental/emotional. You know her sense of humor, political views, intelligence, what kind of music she likes, is she nice. etc.

However most guys are not like me. Most are sex-crazed brutes and that's all they care about, they just want to bang as many women as possible. They treat women like objects and completely disregard their emotions. You can't really blame them though, they are genetically hardwired to be like that.

Best of luck in your endeavor for love. Wish me luck in mine  !


----------



## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

No.


----------



## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

Personally no I wouldn't. (I'm afraid to post the full extent of my opinion because anemone might find it offensive. so private message me if you want the rest).


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

ViciousPopCobain777 said:


> For me personally, sex takes a back seat to love/emotional attraction. When it comes to a girl, I can wait for marriage for sex no problem since it really isn't my main concern. For me, physical attraction is only about 25% of what matters in a girl. The other 75% is mental/emotional. You know her sense of humor, political views, intelligence, what kind of music she likes, is she nice. etc.
> 
> * However most guys are not like me. Most are sex-crazed brutes and that's all they care about, they just want to bang as many women as possible. They treat women like objects and completely disregard their emotions. You can't really blame them though, they are genetically hardwired to be like that.
> *
> ...


Nope.


----------



## hannah1988 (Dec 15, 2015)

Surly Wurly: why do you think so? what is the personality of SAS users? It makes me to find a friend among them


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

You need to see if the sex is any good before committing to a lifetime together. What will you do if he is a lazy, horrible lover who has zero interest in foreplay and lasts 1 minute?


----------



## Euthymia (Jul 15, 2015)

You might not want to hear this OP but men and women cannot be friends, they can only be allies.


----------



## swh (May 19, 2015)

Yup, if the chic is ugly, no worries.


----------



## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

Euthymia said:


> You might not want to hear this OP but men and women cannot be friends, they can only be allies.


Says you.

In my experience (since, Idk, junior high school?) it can and does happen. It's possible. I mean, unless you can't stop thinking with your dick, and you just want to bang anyone or anything that will bang you back.


----------



## binckie (Dec 4, 2015)

hannah1988 said:


> I do not say sex is bad or breaks the good relationship.
> I* am touchy person and want to have sex with someone whom I trust, someone who I love and also he loves me, someone who stays beside me in happiness and sadness.*
> I have not met the right person and I do not know when this will happen!


This must be one of the stupidest things I did read here.

Seriously, what?

You can only trust them if they marry you? How lame is that. You know the rate of divorces?

It is not because they marry you that they love you. They love you and thats why they marry you.
Or they just love you and thats why they want to stay with your but not necessary marry you.
Not everyone feels the need to get married. That does not mean they do not love you.

Do you need to jump in the sack right away with the first guy that comes by? Of course not! 
Does it mean you need to get married to be sure he loves you and you can trust him? Of course not!


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

TenYears said:


> Says you.
> 
> In my experience (since, Idk, junior high school?) it can and does happen. It's possible. I mean, unless you can't stop thinking with your dick, and you just want to bang anyone or anything that will bang you back.


:agree

Platonic friendships are in fact the _only_ type of relations I've had with guys. They were not "allies"--they were my *friends*.

(What does "allies" even mean in a school environment, anyway...? :con I never considered anybody my "ally"--they were either a friend/acquaintance, or they weren't.)


----------



## SaladDays (Nov 26, 2013)

Ehh, why are your views on sex so conservative? I mean, obviously sex is as intimate as it gets and nobody in their right minds would have sex with someone they did not trust or feel attracted to but marrying someone doesn't mean either one of the two and you don't necessarily have to be married to someone to trust them or feel attracted to them enough to have sex


----------



## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

binckie said:


> This must be one of the stupidest things I did read here.
> 
> Seriously, what?
> 
> ...


She didn't say anything about marriage.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## binckie (Dec 4, 2015)

nubly said:


> She didn't say anything about marriage.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Look at the previous posts.


----------



## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

binckie said:


> Look at the previous posts.


Nothing about marriage.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Euthymia (Jul 15, 2015)

TenYears said:


> Says you.
> 
> In my experience (since, Idk, junior high school?) it can and does happen. It's possible. I mean, unless you can't stop thinking with your dick, and you just want to bang anyone or anything that will bang you back.


Says me? No says many other men who actually understand women and men.

I mean come on even Steve Harvey says:


----------



## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

Euthymia said:


> Says me? No says many other men who actually understand women and men.
> 
> I mean come on even Steve Harvey says:


My brother, I'm not gonna get into a debate with you about whether or not the friendships I've had with women since I was in junior hs were real or not. I know they were, so I'm happy. I'll just say "you're right" for the purposes of avoiding what might be the most ridiculous debate ever on this forum. So you can be happy.

You're welcome. 

Sent from my HTC_Amaze_4G


----------



## MamaDoe (Dec 15, 2015)

It really depends on the individual. Today society insists and pressurises men to have sex before marriage. Not saying that all men feel pressured, they just want to have it . 

However, I have met a few guys who would happily wait, if they are meeting the love of their life. It's just so rare to find them...


----------



## binckie (Dec 4, 2015)

nubly said:


> Nothing about marriage.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Are you kidding me?

Check her first post! 
Check the openingspost!


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

TenYears said:


> My brother, I'm not gonna get into a debate with you about whether or not the friendships I've had with women since I was in junior hs were real or not. *I know they were, so I'm happy.* I'll just say "you're right" for the purposes of avoiding what might be *the most ridiculous debate ever on this forum*. So you can be happy.
> 
> You're welcome.


:high5


----------



## Euthymia (Jul 15, 2015)

TenYears said:


> My brother, I'm not gonna get into a debate with you about whether or not the friendships I've had with women since I was in junior hs were real or not. I know they were, so I'm happy. I'll just say "you're right" for the purposes of avoiding what might be the most ridiculous debate ever on this forum. So you can be happy.
> 
> You're welcome.
> 
> Sent from my HTC_Amaze_4G


Dangit, you caught me.

Well played TenYears, well played.
-_-


----------



## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

MamaDoe said:


> It really depends on the individual. Today society insists and pressurises men to have sex before marriage. Not saying that all men feel pressured, they just want to have it .
> 
> However, I have met a few guys who would happily wait, if they are meeting the love of their life. It's just so rare to find them...


Most men these days don't want marriage at all. The religious nuts have been declining and the legal aspects are pretty much all anti-male. It is actually less common for people to marry now than not in long term relationships.

Not only that, marriage is freakin expensive. Women want some massive diamond and 3000 of their closest friends at some fancy place that costs tens of thousands to rent out.. For most guys there is no upside to marriage these days and tons of downsides.


----------



## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

binckie said:


> Are you kidding me?
> 
> Check her first post!
> Check the openingspost!


Oh yea I see it now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## binckie (Dec 4, 2015)

nubly said:


> Oh yea I see it now.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:grin2:haha:grin2:


----------



## Nernef (Nov 21, 2015)

I'd be open to that kind of scenario I suppose, we fall in love and decide to wait until our wedding night to get intimate. I've heard some horror stories though about the new wife realising her and the new hubby are sexually incompatible, then not wanting him anymore. Or if he was a virgin, that she's frustrated he's so clueless and the first time and subsequent sex was terrible! Then she just ends up cheating and eventually filing for a divorce, instead of being patient and working on things.

If you just want companionship and no sex, some guys might be open to it and be happy with just a loving friendship type marriage. Good luck finding him though.


----------



## hannah1988 (Dec 15, 2015)

Thank you all for your replies


----------



## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

You guys are aware that Steve Harvey is as dumb as a box of rocks, right?


----------



## persona non grata (Jul 13, 2011)

minimized said:


> You guys are aware that Steve Harvey is as dumb as a box of rocks, right?


lol, apparently not everyone has heard.

By his logic in that video, it's impossible for homosexuals to have friends of the same gender.


----------



## Depo (Jan 30, 2015)

Your strategy might have worked in the 50's. But nowadays all guys at 27 (who are not socially inept) have already lost their virginities. If you want someone to wait for you, Good Luck! Nowadays is so easy to find sex, so you're probably going to be pushed aside, unless you're hot. Even if you find someone who waits for you and befriends you, you have no guarantee that he will be faithful to you or compatible with you. I don't know, you sound like a freaking Disney princess. And you're pushing 30, ain't that a little bit too old to be that picky? I'm just trying to be realistic. Most guys your age are sleeping with the 20-24 year old girls, so your best bet is finding someone in their late 30's and 40's. Or joining a christian website and be welcomed by men with a mindset that will enslave you because you're a woman and you must obey your man's commands.


----------



## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

Hell I know one girl since she was four, we played kickball in the street with other neighbors and our brothers as kids. We work at the same place, reconnected after losing touch for almost two decades. I consider her a friend because she's one of the very few people irl that has knowledge of my SA and troubled past, yet still talks to me. She often tries to cheer me up at work whenever she says hi and sometimes reassures me by touching my shoulder or hugging me. Does she not count cause she's only interested in women romantically? I don't care, she's one of the most mature, kindest, honest souls I know.

She cheered me up when another girl at work played me for a fool and told me that truthfully I offer a lot more and deserve better. I'm not used to getting pep talks by peeps irl, especially from a gal, but it made a difference in regards to that. We don't hangout, she is always working nonstop, nor do we text, but we chat sometimes about life in the break room during our lunch breaks and there isn't annoying coworkers distracting us. I can count on one hand the friends I trust at work, and she's one of them. That's saying something in my mind anyways. Maybe I'll get her a card for Xmas. I've spent my hard earned money on girls I wanted to date, maybe it's high time I appreciate my friends this year instead. 

As a general rule of thumb, I cease giving gifts/favors to those who forget about me during the holidays for years, even a simple inquiry will suffice. Even though I'm not normal she makes an effort to understand me sometimes, can't put a price on that.


In short, I could always use more friends irl, I don't trust people easily, men or women. Even though I'm recluse and antisocial, I do appreciate and value true friendship.

--------------

In regards to the question, do what you want and feel is right for you, it's your choice and never another persons. Don't ever let anyone convince you otherwise.


----------



## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

So... do you want to have sex after marriage or would you prefer no sex at all?


----------



## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

i skimmed the thread briefly and ohh man all these dudes giving you **** because your views on sex are "too conservative" *facepalm*~~~ it's funny how people always make sooo much noise about '**** shaming' but then turn around and label people who want to wait until marriage as 'prudes'. those are just, like, different ends of the same spectrum yo. i feel like most people's views on sex are too libertine for my tastes, but i never talk about it because i hate the inevitable judgement that i will get for saying that. but anyway. i think whatever you choose to believe is fine; it's nobody else's business anyway, apart from yourself and the person(s) that you are banging.


----------



## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

@bad baby: I was thinking the same thing.


----------



## DistraughtOwl (Mar 1, 2014)

I'm all about waiting for the right person and being patient but I think waiting until marriage is arbitrary and stupid. Who knows how many years that could be. And they might not even have much compatibility in the bedroom anyway. If that's what you want sure just don't expect many men to be into that.


----------



## AmbiValenzia (May 20, 2014)

Yes. Me. Question answered. Next one, please.


----------



## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Depo said:


> Your strategy might have worked in the 50's. But nowadays all guys at 27 (who are not socially inept) have already lost their virginities. If you want someone to wait for you, Good Luck! Nowadays is so easy to find sex, so you're probably going to be pushed aside, unless you're hot. Even if you find someone who waits for you and befriends you, you have no guarantee that he will be faithful to you or compatible with you. I don't know, you sound like a freaking Disney princess. And you're pushing 30, ain't that a little bit too old to be that picky? I'm just trying to be realistic. Most guys your age are sleeping with the 20-24 year old girls, so your best bet is finding someone in their late 30's and 40's. Or joining a christian website and be welcomed by men with a mindset that will enslave you because you're a woman and you must obey your man's commands.


Lot of truth there.


----------



## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

bad baby said:


> i skimmed the thread briefly and ohh man all these dudes giving you **** because your views on sex are "too conservative" *facepalm*~~~ it's funny how people always make sooo much noise about 'slut shaming' but then turn around and label people who want to wait until marriage as 'prudes'. those are just, like, different ends of the same spectrum yo. i feel like most people's views on sex are too libertine for my tastes, but i never talk about it because i hate the inevitable judgement that i will get for saying that. but anyway. i think whatever you choose to believe is fine; it's nobody else's business anyway, apart from yourself and the person(s) that you are banging.


It isn't that hard to understand.. If you really like a woman, you hope she hasn't been with too many guys but you also don't want some 2-3 year wild goosechase to end up with some woman who doesn't value sex and will use it as a weapon the entire time you're together. This state is full of women like the OP who find some guy at 19-22 and force them to marry her, then by about 24 they are divorced with a kid and bitter.


----------



## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

hannah1988 said:


> Hey all,
> 
> I am new in this forum. I am wondering if all guys look for sex in the relationship? Is there a guy who may marry a girl without having sex before marriage?
> 
> I am 27-year-old and because of my personal believes I never had boy-friend(and sex). Now I feel like I need someone for the rest of my life to be friend... to share my happiness and etc.


I mean yeah, you can be friends with a guy but lets be honest here, no guy is going to say "oh i need a girl for the rest of my life to just be a friend"

The guy's line of thought is if an attractive girl is friendly and being social, his first thought will want to either hookup or get in a relationship with her. But he'll settle with being friends if a) he thinks eventually he has a chance or b) You two share enough common interests to where you two can actually be legitimate friends such as same taste in video games, music etc...

If a man is physically attracted to a woman and likes her personality, he LTRs her. If a man is physically attracted to a woman and does not like her personality, he has a ONS with her. If a man is not physically attracted to a woman and likes her personality, he friendzones her. If a man is not physically attracted to a woman and does not like her personality, then hopefully he cuts contact with her because I see no benefit for the man in such a relationship. I am generalizing here, but more or less if you ask men this is true.


----------



## hannah1988 (Dec 15, 2015)

I love sex... I become hot even by watching a minute sex movie... But, I love sex with a right person.


----------



## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

LichtLune said:


> I'm all about waiting for the right person and being patient but I think waiting until marriage is arbitrary and stupid. Who knows how many years that could be. And they might not even have much compatibility in the bedroom anyway. If that's what you want sure just don't expect many men to be into that.


ok, fair point, a lot of guys won't accept that. but there's still a small minority out there who will. and is it really necessary to call the OP's opinion "arbitrary and stupid"? she has feelings too, you know..



knightofdespair said:


> It isn't that hard to understand.. If you really like a woman, you hope she hasn't been with too many guys but you also don't want some 2-3 year wild goosechase to end up with some woman who doesn't value sex and will use it as a weapon the entire time you're together. This state is full of women like the OP who find some guy at 19-22 and force them to marry her, then by about 24 they are divorced with a kid and bitter.


oh no, i understand where these guys are coming from perfectly. i just don't agree with them. and the point you're making.. well it's really less about sex and more about these guys just being young/foolish and poor judges of character, isn't it? on the flipside though, i've known lots of guys from the suburbs who married young (late teens - early twenties) and are still happily married. no force/jedi mind tricks involved.


----------



## i suck at life (Mar 14, 2014)

yep! they do exist! i should know, since i found one! and omg he's so wonderful, and kind, and caring and loving. he's such a beautiful person inside and out! i hope you find one as special and amazing as mine one day


----------

