# Please can i have someone to talk to



## musicaljess (Jun 27, 2015)

My name is Jessica and im from scotland. Im 20 and currently studying music at college. Im about to start my HND course after the summer. I havent been diagnosed but i think i have social anxiety. I dont really have any friends. I have a boyfriend that i live with and hes so different from me, hes so confident and outgoing and im so awkward and quiet. Im not quiet with him though, for some reason i feel confident around him. I have grown up in fostercare. I dont know my dad ad my mum has schizophrenia. I think this is why im like this. I never really got the opportunity to learn how to socialise properly. I am a singer/songwriter, music is my biggest love in the world, but i feel my social anxiety is getting in the way of it. I never gig as i have such little confidence, when i perform i love it, but i hate speaking to the audience, just thinking about makes me anxious so i never gig as a result of that. I just want cured and to be normal. I want to be able to speak to people and gig and be myself and not constantly think people are judging me and me always feeling so uncomfortable and distressed in social situations :/ i want to make friends and not feel so alone all the time :/


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## lamie (Dec 20, 2014)

Hi Jessica! What kind of music do you play? Would you be able to join a band, or perform with even just one other person? Having other people on stage with you might help ease your fears, because the audience won't be looking only at you. If that's not an option, you could consider posting videos of yourself performing on youtube. That way you won't have to worry about speaking to people, yet you will still be able to perform in front of an audience (even if it isn't a live one).


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## shek (Jul 17, 2011)

Your past is quite unique. I suggest that you shouldn't look at your past and think "because of X I am Y and that's that", you can always improve with the cards life dealt you with! That's my belief at least.

Regarding your issue with thinking about what other people think of you or "judge" you, think about it this way: How many times were you out in public and saw a stranger embarrass themselves (like falling in front of a crowd)? Do you remember them? Their face? Name? I'd guess not, most people in the world live their own life and only remember the things they were involved in. If you were to go perform now in a gig and for example miss a note in one song do you think people will hate you their whole lives? On second thought why would it even matter to you? The only thing you'll get out of thinking about that is bitterness, instead think about your next gig and how you can improve your act!

Once you realize that strangers are simply that - strangers, you shouldn't care too much what they think because after a day or a week none of it will matter! Do you think people have nothing better to do or think about than to judge every person they see? Your life is yours and the only thing that matters is what happens inside the bubble you choose to have, big or small.


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## rlo1995 (Jul 29, 2014)

You sound a bit like me. 
Feel free to message me anytime, okay? 
skype: rlinolsen or just here


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## Bushra (Dec 24, 2014)

listen to lamie and shek , they are absolutely right.
and don't ever be afraid .. you just have to believe in yourself.
every single day and every time you look at yourself in the mirror ,remind your self that you are awesome and strong and you can get over this anxiety ..


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