# Do you ever feel like escaping when you're sitting with a group of friends?



## justbreathe (May 13, 2011)

I have alot of friends, but sometimes this seems a problem.

We could be sitting in the refectory at lunchtimes, and i just have an urge to go outside and be on my own for a little bit. It's so hard when someone says 'I'll come with you.' It's like just arghhh please leave me alone.

I know i should be happy that people actually like me and care for me, but i dont know what to do sometimes. I didnt go to college today because i was thinking about how i can't get away from people sometimes.

So many times ive say 'Just going outside..to make a phone call', so no body comes with me. Friends suffocate me, and i know its not right to feel like this. Have you ever felt this way?


----------



## wmw87 (Apr 20, 2011)

Haha, not right now. I always sit alone.

But yeah, in the past I've felt that way. It was usually because of depression or other problems. That stuff kills my urge to do anything, especially socialize or be around people.


----------



## Dre53 (Mar 2, 2011)

This used to happen to me sometimes in high school. Now I have no group to be with, so it's a problem that's gone away. :blank


----------



## cafune (Jan 11, 2011)

justbreathe said:


> I have alot of friends, but sometimes this seems a problem.
> 
> *We could be sitting in the refectory at lunchtimes, and i just have an urge to go outside and be on my own for a little bit.* It's so hard when someone says 'I'll come with you.' It's like just arghhh please leave me alone.
> 
> ...


I've definitely felt like that before. And I've done just that. Sometimes I tell them that I'll be back and that I have to get something and walk around for a bit outside instead. I have moments like that too, when I just feel the need to be alone.


----------



## Donnie in the Dark (Mar 15, 2011)

I have one friend who invites me to say over fairly often.
When I eventually leave and walk away from the house it is a great feeling of escape.


----------



## Hello22 (Feb 10, 2010)

I still have this problem.... i feel suffocated if im hanging around with people too long, and i usually make an excuse to get away. I dont think its my SA, its my introversive personality, i sometimes crave alone-time in a crowd of people. 

I think alot of people are like that though, more than you think.


----------



## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

justbreathe said:


> I have alot of friends, but sometimes this seems a problem.
> 
> We could be sitting in the refectory at lunchtimes, and i just have an urge to go outside and be on my own for a little bit. It's so hard when someone says 'I'll come with you.' It's like just arghhh please leave me alone.
> 
> ...


I get this feeling all the time, it's easier to deal with now. But I still need to mentally regroup sometimes.

Try to resist as much as you can right now though (spend as much time with your friends as you can) this can grow into a ciclical negative pattern and can get out of hand.


----------



## sunshine0505 (May 16, 2011)

I feel like that ALL the time!! Especially if I've spent the whole day with someone. I need a few minutes by myself. Cherish the time you do have with good/supportive family and friends though...


----------



## Kieran (May 25, 2011)

For school and college I've felt that way, more so college where I came across a lot of people I either couldn't stand or had nothing in common with. 

In the college course, I didn't like the people I hung around with but I was kinda nearly forced to hang with them. I hung out with them at the start of the year when I didn't mind them but then they started to irritate me so I had a few lunch breaks on my own. When they asked why we had a big argument so I gradually hung out with them again just to avoid awkwardness even tho it was awkward enough being around people I had nothing in common with and really disliked. Probably explains why I dropped out of the course.


----------



## TheQueenOfNoise (May 28, 2011)

No. I like being in a group of friends. I like it when I know I'm accepted. When they talk to me, I usually do not look at their eyes (I get red and forget EVERYTHING and I start blushing and "grumbling" when I talk with someone while looking them in their eyes). It's strange, but when no one is talking with me, or they talk about something I know nothing about, I want them to change the topic and speak to me. But when they do speak to me, I want them not to. :S


----------



## moke64916 (May 31, 2011)

No, i try to fully embrace the moment while around friends.


----------



## Andriod18 (Jun 12, 2011)

sometimes i actually DO escape. especially when my friends have people over who i don't really know that well. first i just get really quiet, like nearly mute, then eventually i just make an excuse to leave and hang out by myself...


----------



## Just Tony (Oct 4, 2010)

justbreathe said:


> I have alot of friends, but sometimes this seems a problem.
> 
> We could be sitting in the refectory at lunchtimes, and i just have an urge to go outside and be on my own for a little bit. It's so hard when someone says 'I'll come with you.' It's like just arghhh please leave me alone.
> 
> ...


Yea I used to feel that way. But it wasnt me, it was them. I genuinely didnt enjoy there company. When I joined a diff circle I became way happier because I never felt like I needed to escape.


----------



## Chris16 (Nov 1, 2010)

I probably wouldn't feel that way if I actually knew how to participate in the discussion.


----------



## liv (Jun 13, 2011)

yess i feel like this all the time. i have a few friends that call me their best friend but i don't think i'd consider them mine. and i'll be forced to go out with them sometimes when i really want to just chill by myself and watch a movie. and i just have to pretend to be having a good time.

but i think it's because keeping up conversations and connecting with people on a deeper personal level is a lot of work and it's tiring for people like us who do not perceive social situations in the same way that others do. for them it is natural. for us it is a lot of work and a lot of anxiety.


----------



## ivagreatname (Jul 4, 2011)

with the whole sitting in groups in college or wherever, do any of you, pretend to read newpapers or magazine, fake text or just smile and pretend laugh when everyone else does amoungest these people who you are really a million miles away from who your sitting next to? 

Because I do.


----------



## meringue (May 30, 2011)

liv said:


> but i think it's because keeping up conversations and connecting with people on a deeper personal level is a lot of work and it's tiring for people like us who do not perceive social situations in the same way that others do. for them it is natural. for us it is a lot of work and a lot of anxiety.


I think what liv said here sums it up really well. It's hard work for us, and we just need to take it easy sometimes. It's weird, because whenever I'm alone I'm craving social contact, but when I do get social time, I'm usually yearning for alone time again. However, it's also usually because I suck at getting "in" with a group I'm hanging out with, like they'll all be really close and have their inside jokes and I'll just be the awkward outsider because of my awkward social skills...


----------



## hearts that kill (Jul 7, 2011)

This happens to me sometimes. I blame it on the fact that they're all talking about something that I can't relate to (a lot of the time it's sex) so I just kinda sit there quietly, and eventually I'll just feel so left out that I want to get away from them before they comment on me being so quiet.


----------



## mrmarc (Jul 10, 2011)

Some times, and some times i'll even 'fake call' or get some one else to text me giving me some reason to leave...
But it really does depend who i'm out with, i have one friend in particular who invites a group of us out and oddly you never feel out of place cause he doesnt give you a chance to be quiet lol.
But others...some times i actually have to fight the temptation to go and hide in the toilet >_>


----------



## Elena22 (Jul 19, 2011)

That also happens a lot to me. After class we sometimes go to get a drink and my friends can sit and talk for hours, bit after a while I've just had enough and need 'me-time' again, I usually say that I have to go because I'm meeting my sister or another friend, but I just want to be alone. Once I'm home alone, I can recharge again. Same thing happens when we stay over at a friends house after a party and everyone wants to hang around together the next day too. Although I really love my friends, hanging around people for a long time nonstop, is just too much. So I can definitively relate. Although escaping from these situations can feel as a release, trying to cope with them is good exercise though. And if you hang in there, you'll feel proud! The times I did, I sure felt good


----------



## Whim (Jul 22, 2011)

Whenever I'm around other people for more than a short period of time, I start thinking about all the awesome things I could be doing if I was alone. I start feeling edgy and want to get away. If I stay anyways, which is most of the time since there's no socially acceptable means to actually be true to what I feel, I just start to feel tired, spaced out, and distant.


----------



## Ratatat (Sep 8, 2010)

Has happened to me before, don't really know the reason but when I'm sitting down somewhere with a group of people I'll sometimes get these jittery chills like I need to shake so I usually make up some excuse to get away for a couple of minutes. It'll usually fix itself then I can get back to sitting down.


----------



## Watercoulour (Jul 24, 2011)

Yeah I feel like that sometimes when im with friends. I really just want to go sit and listen to music. i do that when i can but i realize its making them not want to hang out with me. My friend said i didnt care. So now i gotta start hanging with them and repress my urges. My friends come first @[email protected]


----------



## JustKittenRightMeow (Jul 25, 2011)

I always felt that way but I also felt like a misfit no matter how much we had in common. Any time I felt comfortable talking and chilling with them, one of their friends I didn't know would join in and then I was more of a third-wheel who sat and observed or just made an excuse to get away.


----------



## Elleire (Jul 24, 2011)

Well, I don't have friends, but I remember when I was young, I'd often get struck with that sudden feeling of "need. to. escape. NOW!" and I'd then up and leave to go home, sometimes in the middle of the night at sleepovers, much to the confusion of my friends. :| I felt bad for leaving, and even worse for not having a good (or any) reason for it. I just needed to go home. 

My mother used to tell me I did it for attention. I don't think that was the case. 

I get that feeling now too, but in different contexts, of course.


----------



## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

Yeah. There were days I was so depressed I just wanted to go home and lay in my bed all day.


----------



## slushie87 (Jul 28, 2011)

ivagreatname said:


> with the whole sitting in groups in college or wherever, do any of you, pretend to read newpapers or magazine, fake text or just smile and pretend laugh when everyone else does amoungest these people who you are really a million miles away from who your sitting next to?
> 
> Because I do.


Lol I fake text way too much.


----------



## Event Horizon (Feb 23, 2011)

It is rather odd because sometimes me and my old friends from way back would have these reunions and I do attend them but the thing is that all I can think about is sadness, emptiness and just going home. Those feelings come on with a weird and sudden head rush, and I'm not sure why this occurs. This applies to almost every social gathering and ironically involving people that one would consider "friends". I guess that is why I don't really have any friends any more :/.


----------



## falconpunch (Aug 2, 2011)

.


----------



## Imaginative dreamer (Aug 4, 2011)

Yes yes and YES!! I always feel like i am the mature one who seems to be outnumbered by immature buffoons. It effects me highly, and makes me feel so alone..


----------



## TomRay (Aug 6, 2011)

I don't really get the urge like "Oh man, I am being suffocated, I need to get out of here.", but usually I get really exhausted after a lot of social interactions and I require some time alone at the end of the day.


----------



## bimraud (Aug 6, 2011)

Yes this happens everytime I hang out with my friends for more than a few hours. Luckily they've known me so long that its become the joke of my personality and they don't question it anymore and I can leave without any fuss.


----------



## mrparadigm (Aug 9, 2011)

All of you relate to justBreathe and so do I!

I feel like ALL OF US need to get together and play some board games and hate the world together  I'm just kidding...

Lets confront some real issues. ..Aside from the fact that my parents are fundamentalist christians, home schooled me, and my two siblings, spanked us as a form of discipline, were always fighting, and so forth, i can help show you what i've learned to discover..

we develop certain roles in our personality based on our emotional contact growing up, i was the scapegoat, i took on the emotional burdens of my parents much to our unawareness to it until recently (i had a guilt complex and felt sorry for everyone) some are the mascot, the lost child, or hero... later on i developed all the other roles. haha...

But in my need to totally relate (and feel helpless in these situations we want to escape from) I have to let you know there are ways to understand and become aware...

ALWAYS know you can change your reality, without 'escaping' per say - know that EVERY little thing that makes up yourself brought you to the need to escape because YOU are actually trying to teach YOU something you are just not aware of it (this is the subconscious mind at work)

... I wrote this up feeling what you are going through. I really hope it helps!

people are over whelming for a multitude of reasons:

mine:

i realized i am hyper critical of myself and situations that are not ideal*** although too accepting of others in fear of being scrutinized myself, very sensitive, i am also a perfectionist, i find the flaw in everything (including myself)

this can make being around large groups very very difficult as i feel subjected to anything that may come at me. i've learned that understanding through realization and awareness is everything -

1.) make yourself an objective listener (as apposed to wanting to relate, comfort, etc) 
2. ) ask why it bothers you, personally

i notice how silly and ridiculous the situations people are in because i always envision a much better situation and environment (expectations) ...i often see a "Train wreck" in progress (and wish to escape it) - i also then notice that i am also a part of this train wreck and feel helpless as i refuse to step in as if i could make a difference as it requires so much energy to potentially overpower a group with my own limited intellect as i've learned very few people actually absorb, are open, and are willing to grasp my perception of the situation ...

i found i have a natural ability to help and the desire* to want to, which can dangerous if not understood

realizing i cannot help everyone

i did allot of thinking and monitoring my closest and earliest relationships

it seems i would throw myself (mentally and emotionally) into the middle of my parents fighting and discord

to try and 'solve' their problems

this was one major

-escaping cant solve the problem, cause we'll manifest it again to try and repair ourselves or fix a wound (look up ego, super-ego, ID)

-realizing your hyper sensitivity is a major thing, can be both good and bad

-you may be *introverted*** more than others, which means 
a) your quiet time and introverted world is important for order, structure, clarity, creativity, processing and growth - the nonsense and chaos of people and their issues don't concern you, in fact may actually bother you and your inner world of clarity.

b) learning to make yourself objective, as opposed to being too sympathetic or empathetic to people to others can help "free" you from a situation you may need to escape.

Another helpful 
** Seek a hobby or an artistic or musical outlet [with a positive outcome] and describe your feelings openly and honestly as best you can. develop an outlet that reminds you of those feelings and the different processes you've taken to manage them and overcome them-this helps to bring to the surface the underlying personal and unique issue needing to be confronting, to be cool with it.

** when you think of yourself needing to "escape" it could be that your own health and uniqueness requires nurturing that you are unaware of and even though it may be viewed as 'escapism' you can still develop positive methods of working on being in group situations.

a few other goodies:

take the myers-briggs jung typology test :
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

it helps weigh the strengths and weaknesses of your personality in a very cut and dry form-in terms, allowing you to organize which parts need more attention,which parts you are unaware of, and the best people to help you see the parts that need balance. the fuller and more complete you are as a person the more awesome things you can manifest in your life, but first you gotta know your worst 

its broken down like this in extremes:

introverted(is NOT "anti-social" thats an unbalanced extreme) VR extroverted (often needs to put themselves around people to not 'feel alone' this is my extreme)

sensing(see, feel, touch) VR intuitive(sense, internal sensitivity to emotional energy projection)

feeling(emotional response) VR thinking(rational, objective, allowing for proper emotional distance)

judging(results driven) VR perceiving(open ended, let the chips fall where they may)

i often think because of the progressions of society yet the multiple levels of intelligence we've gone from religion to science and psychology, but we're still playing catch up and dealing with the results of it all...

some awesome minds identified with the problems created in society and created the study of the mind to help 'fix' the bi-products, what we are to our parents generation, are we worse or better? -- and some great discoveries have been made. keep in mind there is a polarization* (intense extremes ) going on with personalities now perceptibly worse than previously, that being set the need to be 'well rounded' and 'balanced' is far more pertinent important.

often it seems we live in a world polarized, because of rich, poor, war situations and many generations we're raised with extreme nature/nurturer environments

example: because of my parents having a chaotic relationship with allot of emotional abuse and fighting, i had to do allot of RESEARCH to give my mind, emotions, etc clarity, i researched night and day psychology and realized standards and values that go beyond my parents.

i blame an imperfect system and previous generations that have been subjected to negative influences and the lack of intelligence to resolve, to be conscious, to be aware, to acknowledge, to own up to all of the problems that have bread us into who we are.

i often see a world of extreme polarized personalities - this is the OPPOSITE of a 'well balanced' and 'rounded' individual

me for example:
i am extroverted, but need a 'controlled environment' because i was home schooled from 7-15

when i went to college, i couldn't focus, had panic attacks (that i thought were normal!!!)

and even when i had my social network in high school 'going places' was always a problem i always sought escapism

anxiety/depression

came from realizing my own sensitivities, the resentment i harbored for my parents marriage failures [simply my own projected expectations of how two people should treat each other] as well as a helplessness to the situation

remember:

your perception is your reality

and

you ARE your attractions

you are NOT a victim to happen-stance

and you CHOOSE every decision based on what you think is acceptable and right and normal

down to your job
down to the health of your friendships

i encourage people to ALWAYS seek to 
a) smile even when it hurts, medically it sends currents through you correcting imbalance-look it up
b) GIVE and show love the best way, unconditionally, expecting nothing
c) THINK and FEEL positive, which means forgiving the past, forgiving all the hurt and pain
D) KNOW your life and life itself is a blessing, know that your purpose lies in your gifts which ALSO lie in your struggles (need to FEEL the situation so harshly to want to run, means you care deeper than you think you do) 
KNOW that life is not always what you feel, life is awesome and if you choose you can manifest awesome

run a quick google search on anxiety/depression attachment disorder, and healing control drama's and you can discover a whole bunch of yourself you can fix.

this is mr paradigm and i approve all my grammatical errors.


----------



## listener123 (May 31, 2011)

Hello22 said:


> i feel suffocated if im hanging around with people too long, and i usually make an excuse to get away. I dont think its my SA, its my introversive personality, i sometimes crave alone-time in a crowd of people.
> 
> I think alot of people are like that though, more than you think.


I know this feeling, and I often wonder how much of it is being introverted versus having social anxiety. It all seems so complicated.


----------



## Judge (Oct 15, 2010)

whenever I get that feeling and really don't want to sit through it, ill just say that i'm going to the washroom.


----------



## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

My group of friends at college are all frighteningly and excessively optimistic rays of sunshine, so I definitely need a breather from time to time. :b


----------



## anxiousguy (Aug 7, 2011)

JustKittenRightMeow said:


> I always felt that way but I also felt like a misfit no matter how much we had in common. Any time I felt comfortable talking and chilling with them, one of their friends I didn't know would join in and then I was more of a third-wheel who sat and observed or just made an excuse to get away.


I feel the same way. Sometimes I don't know whether it is more uncomfortable to sit with a group of people and not take part in the conversation or to just sit alone.


----------



## SPC (May 14, 2011)

i have been known to freak out if someone in my circle of friends spontaneously suggests we do an activity that i secretly hate. and thats why they know better than to invite me to go bowling ever again.


----------



## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

All the time. As a total introvert, I can only be around people for so long before I start getting the urge to run to the door.


----------



## roughh (Aug 2, 2011)

Sometimes I do this when I feel like I'm not contributing to the conversation or when I start feeling anxious that I'm just sitting there. But this reason applies when I'm trying to hang out with new people I have recently met. I used to avoid going to University not to have to meet my course mates.

With some of my friends I also used to feel suffocated, but I understood that I was friends with them for wrong reasons and they bored me in general. Me and my current friends have sort of synced to know when it's time to end the hangout. However, I still have some friends who start annoying me after a while, and me being quite an impulsive person, I just laugh at their jokes one second and tell them to get the **** out of my house *now. *And yeah, I'm lucky to have people who tolerate me being like that 

My advice is be open with people about when you want to be left alone, but be polite about it.


----------

