# Christianity - Going to church



## LostinReverie

Is there anyone who is a Christian yet doesn't go to church because of their SA?

If so, do you feel guilty because of it?


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## Gena320

I mostly feel empty and hollow...and a longing to go to church.


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## jeffid

Sometimes I don't go because of SA and yes, I do feel guilty.

Most Sundays, I have to go because of the ministry that I'm involved in. I'm far less likely to go without a sense of purpose and responsibility.

This past summer, while this ministry was on a break, I ended up going to a bigger church where nobody knows me. The SA is easier to deal with that way.


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## Amelia

I went to church for the first time in more than 10 years last Sunday. It was after reading the "biblical approach to social anxiety" posted by TrueSeeker. SA and the feeling that I'm not worthy, maybe can't even claim to be a Christian, but mostly SA have kept me from going.


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## ericj

1) Yes.
2) It varies depending on whether or not people have been guilt-tripping me about it. If they haven't, it doesn't bother me.


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## TruSeeker777

I go to church pretty regularly now but for a lot of years didn't attend because of my SA. I didn't really feel guilty back then because I wasn't getting any pressure from family or friends and I knew God knew my heart and why I wasn't attending. Also, I don't feel 'church' is just a building. During that time I wasn't attending, I would listen to sermon podcasts of churches online and participate in Christian chat rooms for fellowship. That was my church.


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## Rod 7

I dont know if I call it guilty or not but Im not as involved in church as I would like. Ive tried small groups but it leads to a lot of anxiety for me. I feel weird when I past the pastor because its a small church and he knows Im not involved in anything and the church is hurting for volunteers in so many areas, but SA keeps me from venturing out. :stu


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## bender3008

Going to Church always makes/made my SA ten times worse. So do/did the people there. They don't understand SA at all - and they try to make you feel guilty about not going too.
They obviously do not have social anxiety because they like crowds, I do not. In twenty something years since "giving my heart to Jesus" I have had no release or even lessening of SA no matter how much prayer has been offered.
I spent 5 of the loneliest most miserable years of my life struggling to get through church on Sundays, and live a "Christian" life.
Church, Christians and the Bible have contributed to my social anxiety,
not helped it. Or helped me with anything else. And I
was studying for the ministry in an Assemblies of God/Pentecostal church. For one thing, I detest singing (for myself). I have liked virtually nothing about any of the people I have met at all, and I have been to probably over 20 different churches. Different denominations too.
Same thing everywhere.


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## SJG102185

Acts 17:24 "God that made the world and all things therein, seeing that he is Lord of heaven and earth, dwelleth not in temples made with hands" 

Luke 17:21 "Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you."


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## Anxiety75

I have a challenge going to my place of worship. Sometimes I get a little anxious and I wonder if people will stare or think badly of me. What has helped me overcome much of that is knowing by going I am pleasing God since he does expect those who want to worship him to do his will. It mentions in the scriptures not to give into fear of man when trying to do his will. Another scripture says that love 'throws fear outside'. Somehow, to a certain extent this helps me and it seems that if I turn it over to God he does help me to put aside my feelings a bit for His sake. I still have SA when I meet with my congregation, but I realize the bigger picture. I know that doesn't work for everyone but that's the way it has helped me. I actually attended on Sunday. I hadn't been in awhile and now I want to work to going regularly again. I have some humps to come over but I know in the long run it is worth the struggle. He didn't say being a Christian/or worshipper was easy. Many of us have a 'thorn in the flesh'. Other fellow Christians do not see our struggles and what we go through even if we reveal our problems to them. We may never really be understood by other members. What is important is our willingness to please God and do what he wants us to do in faith.

I don't mean to preach this thought on others. It's just how I have reasoned and what I have learned.


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## FairleighCalm

Delving deeply into my spiritual beliefs via Jesus and the concept of living in a constant state of forgiveness and love has really been interesting and rewarding. I go to church and finally feel comfortable with my own beliefs about God, which don't always dovetail nicely into the mainstream belief, to get more involved in DOING CHRISTIANITY. ie meeting people regularly from church, doing charitable events and being myself and not caring what people think.


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## daddyboy

Hi I'm kinda new here but thought I'd add my ideas.

I have always avoided church because of my SA - although I never knew it was my SA until very recently - and had a lot of guilt about that. I realize now that it's not a bad thing my not trying to associate with a lot of people that don't understand what my SA is. 

Having said that I get GREAT satisfaction attending a VERY large church here every Sunday. I know NOONE there and noone bothers me when I go - it's virtually just me (my wife) and God there... 

I'm trying to join a small group (with my wife) and like probably everyone here am having huge SA issues with that. I'm finding that talking openly about my SA journey is helping but then again I'm also unsure that what I say is fully understood on the other end, BUT it seems to me they are trying so maybe that's enough???

I don't know if this helps but after 53 years of living with SA, only the last 10 or so actually realizing that I actually was not a failure/loser just a little biochemically or whatever different than everyone else, I have kinda decided to think of myself as a good person regardless of how I can "perform" to ANYONE's elses standards. I do my best wherever I go and avoid all things I think might be too stressful..

OK enough ranting - thanks for listening!!  

Rob


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## yeah_yeah_yeah

Nice post Farlicles :banana I needed to hear that.

Ross


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## scotthallkevinnash

I grew up going to church since I was a baby so it comes somewhat natural to me to go. 

I go with my parents still and im 22 years old which is kinda sad but I probably wouldnt go at all if I didnt have anyone to go with. 

In fact, before my DUI arrest, I played bass on the Sunday worship band in front of roughly 400 people a week. These were very fun days because I had no anxiety because I was focused only on worshiping the Lord Jesus through my music and not on the 400 people in front of me. 

Another interesting note is that since ive been kicked off the worship team, I have started to sing along with the worship songs. I have not done this ever before but recently I have simply told myself to sing because I wanted to worship in my own way. In doing so, I note that I feel no anxiety. 

So for everyone out there who has difficulty going to church, place your strength in Jesus and he will take on your fears. 

You must remember that Jesus said that with faith the size of a mustard seed you can move mountains. For most of us, our "mountain" is Social Phobia so the take home message is to have blind faith that Jesus will fill you with his spirit to the point that you will not be afraid.


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## LOSTINPARADISE

As a teenager I was very involved in my youth group. I went on mission and camp trips and such. I had a couple of friends I felt comfortable with, but in general, it was difficult for me to feel connected to people. I have only recently realized my SA. I always just called myself shy or quiet. I couldn't tell you how many people (especially patronizing adults) loved the sarcastic comments, "you talk too much" or, Shannon, can you please be quieter." To which I would just smile shyly and wish I could fade away. 

As I got older it became harder to assimilate. I tried a few 20's church groups, but the social activities made me very uncomfortable. I especially hated the bible study groups in which people were expected to pray out loud and discuss their viewpoints to the group. 

I remained faithful in my relationship to the Lord, but going to church fell by the wayside because it caused me so much anxiety. I wasn't afraid of meeting people, so much as I was afraid of the expectations that would put on me. Next, I'd be pressured into joining a ministry, another study group, etc. that would require me to enter more social situations. 

I went through college without many problems because there wasn't a need to be a part of a group. You can exist as a wallflower without anyone caring. Plus, my boyfriend and I took all the same classes. I went in, learned what I needed, talked to a few people, had a couple uncomfortable "front of the class" experiences, but then it was over. With church, there is an expectation to get involved and be a part of "the body", and not just for a few years. 

Over the past 10 years I have attempted to start going to church regularly many times. It's has been sporadic, even though my relationship with God has remained strong. Every week I tell myself (and my husband), "next week we'll start back at church", hoping by then I will feel better about myself and work up the courage. Next week never seems to come. I know my submission to fear and pray often to overcome this ridiculousness.


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## millenniumman75

I am still working on this. 
I missed this past Sunday due to illness. The week before, I actually went to a pizza/salad lunch. 

I am afraid of being accused of doing something I am not doing, and then they'll try to kick me out.


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## TorLin

LostInReverie said:


> Is there anyone who is a Christian yet doesn't go to church because of their SA?


i am.



LostInReverie said:


> If so, do you feel guilty because of it?


no, worship isn't all about going to an actual church /or place. someone can worship at home with prayer and reading the bible and reflecting the death and resurrection of Christ.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah

Whee :banana


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## QuietTexan

LostInReverie said:


> Is there anyone who is a Christian yet doesn't go to church because of their SA?
> 
> If so, do you feel guilty because of it?


I go to a very large church where I can remain safely anonymous. I just kind of slip in and out without anyone noticing. I'm too anxious to actually talk to anyone or participate in any bible study classes, but I'd like to work myself up to that point.

I don't feel guilty about it, but I do feel like I'm missing out on the whole church experience by not socializing with anyone.


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## shypam

Yes, because of my Social Anxiety I have missed 
4 months of going to church. Eventually I go back. 
I get convicted and go back. The longer I'm away 
from church, the harder it is to go back. 
Facing people at church after being away for so
long is what I dread. 

And being away for 3 months, 4 months, even 6 
months at a time is not the first time I've done 
that. It's not the Pastor, or the teaching, or 
the worship - it's the fellowshipping. 
I'm terribly shy. I was Roman Catholic for 43 
years before becoming a born again Christian. 
As a Roman Catholic, because it's religion, I 
didn't have to fellowship. I just went to Mass, 
blessed myself with holy water, said Hi to the 
Priest on my way out. And I left after that. 

Yes... I feel guilty. I should want to fellowship
with other believers. Sometimes I pray for God
to take it away. Maybe this is my weakness. 
And like Paul the Apostle prayed for God to 
take away his thorn in his flesh, SA is my thorn. 
God's power is made perfect in our weakness.


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## Marci07

Yes...I stopped going to church because of SA...


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## geordiemilne

I didn't go to church for a long time but before that I felt very uncomfortable at church (very bad experience with previous church). Now I'm going to a different church and loving it. The people there have been very supportive of my SA and depression and now I can say I'm doing so much better because of Jesus in my life  I'm even teaching sunday school now. Which I never thought I would be able to do that..so don't give up people!

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.-2 Corinthians 4:16-17


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## epril

jeffid said:


> Sometimes I don't go because of SA and yes, I do feel guilty.
> 
> Most Sundays, I have to go because of the ministry that I'm involved in. I'm far less likely to go without a sense of purpose and responsibility.
> 
> This past summer, while this ministry was on a break, I ended up going to a bigger church where nobody knows me. The SA is easier to deal with that way.


Funny, because I was looking for a church and they all had so many congregants, so I was invisible, which appeals to me, or so I thought. I chose to join a small church so people would know me and I them, and now I feel anxiety every Saturday night!

I also feel anxiety because I volunteered to teach, and because I am supposed to be heading up a special ministry, and I'm having a hard time with it and dealing with SA and depression, and missing my old church family I moved away from. Thinks were so nice, and now I feel lost and have to start over, and it's been about 6 months and I'm still a bundle of nerves.


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## Neptunus

geordiemilne said:


> Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.-2 Corinthians 4:16-17


Beautiful passage!


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## shypam

*Social Anxiety makes it hard*

Being a Christian and having social anxiety makes 
it hard to mingle with other believers. Fellowshipping 
can be scarry for someone with SA. I have actually 
not gone to church because of my SA. And yes, I 
feel guilty. I'd like to overcome it. I'd like to have 
victory over it.

Anyone got any suggestions?


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## shypam

*Wish other Christians would understand my SA*

I'm extremely shy and I'm constantly smiling. 
People may find me fake because I smile alot. 
But deep inside I'm a scared little girl. When 
the service is over, and it's time to fellowship, 
I get nervous! I never know what to say to
people.

I wish other Christians at my church would 
understand my SA. They may see me as 
unfriendly, or I think I'm "too good" to go up
to them to talk. Little do they know I'm more
than just shy - I have social anxiety!!!

I feel like people find me boring and don't want
to get stuck talking to me. It's ashame because
I love going to church. I love to sing during worship. 
And my Pastor is a great teacher. But it's being 
put in a social gathering which is what fellowshipping 
is - well, I feel like a fish out of water! 
Why am I like this? People may find me stuck up. 
I hope they don't. I'm beyond shy, I'm suffering 
from social anxiety. I feel I have a severe case!


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## TheCanadian1

I don't go to church because I feel most Christians are hypocritical or misguided in what they feel is faith and devotion to their religion.

I think I may like to start going again, but I wish I had someone to go with...


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## sog88

I haven't attended church for near 3 months now, all because I found that it was due to my SA. I knew that I wasn't the type to intentionally hurt other's feelings by disconnecting myself so often from everyone, but I was often misunderstood...I still am to this day. It's crazy. I refuse to return until I am ready. I realize that I have no control over whether they take it personal or not. I have to take care of me. And if I can't be honest and upfront with others about it, why show up when I truly don't have the nerve to be there. I wouldn't be calm the entire service. Total anxiety. So why hop in and out. Especially if no one is talking about it, I feel that it's too bad no one has. This thing is real and I will not allow someone to tell me otherwise. I am living evidence. People should really open their eyes. I wonder who else is dealing with it but suppressing it there...


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## shy67

I go to church, but feel really anxious when there. I also would really want to get involved in some ministries but I am too scared to join.


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## hmf22

I always go to church- it does make me anxious, but I'd never skip going. Faith is what keeps me strong when SA and life gets rough!


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## kavetra

*Im Glad Im not alone*

I am so happy to find this forum. You dont know how comforting it is just to know that you are not alone. I can indentify with everyone in hear. My SA keeps me from going to church and meeting other believers. I know that this has had an affect on my life. My SA causes me to have a lot of loneliness and shamefully there are times when the loneliness is so bad that I Satans provision for comfort instead of God's and then that result in guilt and having to repent. I really wish I had other believers to fellowship my life with. The fear that comes when it is time to go to church is debilitating sometimes. I do feel guilt for not going to church as much as I ought, sometimes I question if I am really a chrisitian but I know enough of the word to know otherwise and I know that we have to stand on the truth of God's word more than our emotions because our emotions can decieve us. I really would like to keep in contact with some of the people in the form if anyone dont mind. Its is just good to finally find someone who goes through it too. I cant say that my relationship with God personally is affected as I spend a lot of time in prayer, bible study I even study theology and apologetics. I want to know as much about God as he has made possible for us. I know that I am totally dependant up God and cant do anything with out. I pray about my social anxiety. As I study the word a lot of my guilt has subsided because i learned a lot of it was because of my misunderstanding of God and church and fellowship. I don't dont believe that I sin for not going to the local church, because God does not dwell in man made temples and worship is a every day, moment by moment thing. But a lot of my guilt is that I know that God calls us to serve and use the spiritual gift that he has given each of us to edify the body of Christ and I cant do that if I continue to Isolate my self, so this in my struggle. I want to over come my SA so that I can serve others and utililize my spiritual gift to help others. :|:fall


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## Vini Vidi Vici

i havent sang in church for more than a year...well i kno im not the only one. but i cant sing or talk to anyone anyway...i get really lonely, cuz i see so many nice people at church that i WANT to talk to, but i cant because i have nothing to say. its like i want to socialize but im empty


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## kavetra

*Free Telephone Support Group*

Hi all

I found a Social Anxiety Support Group that have local meetings and also if there is no local meeting they have telephone confrence call support groups for people regardless of location. Its all totally free, no registration required. http://healsocialanxiety.com/
Hope this helps someone

kavetra


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## erasercrumbs

LostInReverie said:


> Is there anyone who is a Christian yet doesn't go to church because of their SA?
> 
> If so, do you feel guilty because of it?


I'd love fellowship, were it not for all the fellowship involved.


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## eddiegutierrez

I go to church inspite but i havn't been able to connect or become involved with any group or individual.
i hate this


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## shyshisho

I've been attending Catholic masses lately, partly because I'm interested in the theology, but partly because they're so big and anonymous I don't feel like I'm the center of attention, as I have visiting small, clubby Protestant congregations.


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## polardude18

I go to church because my parents are really involved in the church and of course they have me go with them every week. Church can really spark my anxiety, I get very nervous there. I like the fact that I go to church, after church is the hard part. People always stay and socialize after the service, I never do that so I end up just sitting or standing around by myself, which is very awkward. Because of social anxiety I never joined the church youth group, people often ask me to join but I never do, I feel somewhat bad about it because my brother and one of his friends go every week, and yet I'm sitting here being to scared to go.


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## Georgina 22

mmeee...I am a christian. I would love to go to church, but not on my own because of SA. I feel i'd be ok sitting down and listening to what the pastor says and then the singing but then the mixing with everyone at the end like having tea and biscuits and just chatting to other people, i'd be very anxious in. I would probably just leave without saying goodbye.

I have been to church before but only with my parents and sister. Oh and times when i've visted family in Australia and I went to my Auntie's church with her and my parents and sister


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## epril

I like church but also am very anxious with the socializing. Sometimes I push myself to talk, sometimes I stand on the outside of a circle of people and listen, sometimes I grab food and sit alone, sometimes I leave right away. I wish it were easier. I know if I say even a few words I feel good for the rest of the day.


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## this portrait

I don't go to church. However, it's not due to SA. My family never took me to church when I was growing up. We were very secular. My mom figured that, since she sent me to a private religious school, that I was getting all the religious teachings I could get, since I had to attend a chapel service every Thursday.

I don't feel guilty about not going to church one bit. The only time I ever really felt somewhat guilty about it was when I was a kid, and I was practically the only kid in my class whose family did not attend church. However, as I grew older, my teachers would tell me that going to church does not make you any better or worse of a person, and that what _really_ matters is your faith, how you treat others, etc. Because of that reassurance, I've been able to live a guilty-free life.

I could also go into my dislike for attending church and how that plays a role in my decision to not go, but then I would be getting a little off-topic.


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## Blue Bird

I got to a Baptist church with my mom on Sundays, when I'm at home for holidays or breaks. When I'm at school, I don't go at all. I just feel I can't be myself at church, like I have to be someone else's kind of Christian. I have yet to be baptized, 'cause I don't like the idea of someone putting me in water or having to stand up in front of the church and announce to the world. I don't feel guilty, but I do feel like an alien or something. I can't relate to what they're saying...most of the people there (and at other Baptist churches I've been too) are pretty old school. They comment on how people dress, if something is too low cut or too tight. I just want to one day wear jeans and sneakers if I want and have no one tell me I'm being disrespectful or un-Christian. I don't like the institution or the way people act. i don't agree with some of the same things they preach or talk about. Plus the people are sooo touchy feely at the church; I guess that's the fellowship part. I want to find a new church...but I wouldn't even have a way to get there.


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## illlaymedown

^It took me a while to get baptized. I now know it was cus of my SA, but then I didn't know about SA and just felt bad about my reasons for not doing it. I found a really great church where I was not judged by my appearance(which is nice cus I dress slightly dark and have tattoos and an eyebrow ring) and felt accepted so it made it slightly easier. When I did it it was pretty funny. The guy who tells your name started with, "Oh and this is Kira. Ya know I've known Kira for a bit now and sometimes a story goes with...." and I gave him a look and shook my head vigorously no :lol to which everybody giggled and he said, "or not". So I got baptized and he didn't tell his story :no :lol It felt nice to do that and I'm glad I did


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## lindalo5032

kavetra said:


> But a lot of my guilt is that I know that God calls us to serve and use the spiritual gift that he has given each of us to edify the body of Christ and I cant do that if I continue to Isolate my self, so this in my struggle. I want to over come my SA so that I can serve others and utililize my spiritual gift to help others. :|:fall


Thank you for your post. This is exactly how I feel. I feel guilty because I know I need to encourage others and be a part of their lives, help carry their burdens, etc., as we are commanded. But the truth is I can't even go to lunch with another woman without stressing out greatly. I just have so much trouble talking to people. I can write, but face to face conversations are just about impossible for me. This is true of everyone but my husband. I'm still pretty quiet around him but at least I'm not afraid to talk to him. Not true for my grown kids. You would think I could be comfortable with my own daughter, but that is not the case, I guess due to some issues in the past where I felt she jumped all over me for reasons I didn't understand. I'd give anything to be able to be like a normal person and have regular friendships. I just don't know how to be around people. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent and thanks for your post. God bless you!!!


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## worthless

I have stopped going to church because of it. I don't want to feel dizzy like i'm going to faint anymore. I get hot and feel out of body like. It's not fun for me even though I know I need God in my life. I can't concentrate on anything going on in the church because I'm always anxious. I've prayed for a long time for this to go away. In Catholicism if you miss mass it is considered a mortal sin so I don't know really what to do. Is it better for me to feel anxious and go to church or face the consequences and go to hell?


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## shygirl14

I'm Christian, I was going to Church for awhile, due to not working last year and anxiety I haven't gone; Except today I went. 

I can't say I feel guilty, I think it's more of the Holy Spirit letting me know that it's something I need, and need to do.


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## SciFiGeek17

Yes. My SA is part of the reason I don't go. My parents have gone, my mother the most and she's talked with tons of people about me, so I feel ever more anxious about it, when I think of possibly going with my parents.

These people have never met me or know anything-other then what my mother has said. And she's talked to them about my heart surgeries, which I DON'T like talking about.

I was going to a church as a kid growing up, but I left during high school. They were teaching more about sex education and how much they enjoyed having sex with their wives then God and that really made me angry. 

Another reason I don't go, is because I have a lot of health problems. I don't sleep well, mostly because of my surgeries and I have a HUGE phobia about public bathrooms. It's embarressing, but once at the previous church, I had do go so bad, but I couldn't and one of the kids found out and yelled in front of a large group of people "she's a freak, she can't go pee!"

Yes, I do feel guilty. Although, only recently have I taken God more seriously then before. I read my bible as much as I can, take notes, do research online...etc.

I know part of being a chrisitan is socializing, but I have a huge fear of it. But I do socialize online a lot and have discussions about God, religion, politics...etc with people. 

But in my physical condition, its hard to get it. So, just thinking that I connect with people online-and I can connect with 100x time then at one church-it makes most of the guilt go away.


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## laray55

I have finally started attending a church this year on a regular basis. This has been a big step forward for me. I had avoided attending church because of social anxiety all of my adult life.


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## ladydi2004

LostInReverie said:


> Is there anyone who is a Christian yet doesn't go to church because of their SA?
> 
> If so, do you feel guilty because of it?


I have the same problem. My husband and I just recently joined a church and they had a new members service. I did not know they were going to call everyone up in front of the congregation and ask them questions about themselves. I immediately went into a panic. I was physically ill afterwards. I also have problems when it's time to fellowship. I try to be outgoing and meet people but my SAD always holds me back. Needless to say, I have stopped going to church and I do feel guilty. My husband wants to go but he can't get me to go back. I feel like I'm letting him down but he doesn't understand how being there affects me both mentally and physically. He keeps telling me to just open up and be more friendly. If only I could. I think if more people could walk in my shoes just for one day, they might understand. It's good to know that there are more people that feel the same way I do and that I am not "weird". I basically have no friends because most people perceive me as withdrawn, boring or stuck up. I am really a very fun person once I get comfortable with someone.


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## this portrait

SA isn't the reason I don't go to church. I just don't think that church is necessary, so I don't take part in it.


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## FadeToOne

I don't go to church too often anyway, but actually I have no SA about it. I don't feel like I'm being judged or singled out there.


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## stephh

Phoenix87 said:


> I don't go to church because I feel most Christians are hypocritical or misguided in what they feel is faith and devotion to their religion.
> 
> I think I may like to start going again, but I wish I had someone to go with...


Same.

I had a church I went to although it started to bother me, I just stopped going because the Pastor retired and I really liked him. Now I wouldn't go back there due to my SA (I feel like people would judge me there, or maybe I shouldn't go there idk) and I don't have anyone to go with, to there or any other place. :/


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## Camelleone

I still go to church although not often, once a month maybe..

and SA makes me afraid to involved actively in the church, or join a small group, or join the singer, I'm soo afraid about that.. I feel guilty about that and still always pray for that.. 

o yes, I go to church alone also, that's why I'm not often go to church..


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## debinan

*Yes I skip church*

Yes I skip church if I am not playing on the worship team. I have sa especially in the room where the band hangs out. I know all the people for many years but for some reason, I can hardly talk back there. I feel soo stupid. If not playing, I always skip church. It is so weird and I just don't understand why I feel so strange. The worst thing I hate is when the minister encourages everyone to say hello to your neighbor. I feel so awkward. Why do they do that every single week? It is like they do they exact same speech every single week and the exact same order every single week. I have no problem playing in front of 1000 people or even singing but the rest is just so difficult for me.

I am glad to know there are others who feel the same way. To find a way out would be so great!


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## Class

I hadn't gone to church for five years due to Katrina dispersing the "membership," I guess you could call it, and I didn't really have SAD at the time.
Skip to college, and for most of the first semester, I didn't go to the church they have here on campus because of SAD. I thought I'd never go since Chi Alpha - the Christian organization that runs the service - is full of loud, excited, highly extroverted kids, and because I knew only a few people from Bible study, and because people stare when you're walking into the theatre, etc. etc. I go now and I don't know why, other than that I like hearing the sermons.

I can also say that I'm never attending service set-up again; that was just sad. It's still kind of hard to go other than wanting to hear the sermons, and no, I don't think attending church service is mandatory for Christians.


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## David777

SA does cause me to not attend Church, but I don't necessarily feel guilty about it.

I don't want anyone to take this as the absolute truth, but I don't recall any place in the Bible where it says that it is a sin not to attend.

But even if it were, I believe God to be very loving, he knows my issues and situation, and I know he understands it. Especially because I am doing my best to get over those issues.


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## tjames

Sometimes don't go because of my SA. I do go most of the time. I am a member of the choir but I miss so many practices because of my SA. I use to be myself up before I accepted being SA. Now I just see it as something to look forward to when I finally conquer this irrational fear. The people in my church are so nice too.


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## snowflakeinmay95

worthless said:


> I have stopped going to church because of it. I don't want to feel dizzy like i'm going to faint anymore. I get hot and feel out of body like. It's not fun for me even though I know I need God in my life. I can't concentrate on anything going on in the church because I'm always anxious. I've prayed for a long time for this to go away. In Catholicism if you miss mass it is considered a mortal sin so I don't know really what to do. Is it better for me to feel anxious and go to church or face the consequences and go to hell?


Aww...
I know how you feel...
but a sin's only a mortal sin if you did it with full intent, right? Maybe you should ask your priest about it (in the confessional maybe, so it's anonymous?)

I feel more anxious about getting to church (asking for a ride) or telling people I can't do something because I have to go to church. I get nervous at church too but I try to just focus on God. I think going to church when there's no mass going on (eg. for confession or adoration) is a lot scarier because the church is so empty and I can't even blend in with everyone else.


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## nbtac41

i still go to church every saturday (sabbath)..my SAD is very mild so it won't interfere with attending church chores


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## itsjustin

I don't go to church, and it's not because of my SA. IMO, God is in my soul, not in a manmade building. Wherever I am, God is.


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## millenniumman75

I still need to work at getting to church on time - I am afraid to speak to people there, although I have made big strides in the last few months.


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## koininea

*social anxiety and going to church*

I have not gone to church for a very long time because it is the single most stressful thing I do all week long. It is misery going into the foyer after 20 years in the church and being uncomfortable talking to people. I finally quit. I love the lord and watch church on t.v. and worship in my home. I do long to go to church and be in the mix...it seems to be hopeless though.


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## TheQuietGirl20

I've skipped 3 weeks before because of anxiety. I don't like dressing up because I'm over weight but at my church your kind of expected to. So I had anxiety about that. So I just didn't go.


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## Warpedsanity

It can be very stressful to me, even miss now and then but there are great people that are always friendly. The super hard part for me is playing lead guitar for youth service.


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## blue the puppy

every week i say i am going to go to church, but never do, due to SA. i am terrified of the giving/receiving the peace and of having to talk to people after the service.


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## wayneo

i go to church every week however i don't stay around and chat after the service because of sa, although my friends at church are great i still feel that i am being judged when i do stay after. the fear of judgement is controlling my life and it sucks!!


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## sugarheart

haven't been in so long now and i really miss it. ): i hope we can all find a church we feel comfortable in!


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## Sunshine009

koininea said:


> I have not gone to church for a very long time because it is the single most stressful thing I do all week long. It is misery going into the foyer after 20 years in the church and being uncomfortable talking to people. I finally quit. I love the lord and watch church on t.v. and worship in my home. I do long to go to church and be in the mix...it seems to be hopeless though.


Catholic churches do not have talking after the services, people leave.


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## caflme

I've been getting like this for the last several months... it comes and goes. I'm Catholic and lately I drop my son to CCD (Relgious Education Class) and I sit in the car and read instead of going to the hall for coffee and breakfast. Then most of the time now I go home and watch the Mass on TV... it's gotten a lot worse... we used to just go in and attend services and leave... a few years ago I even volunteered in the kitchen after Mass to serve breakfast and coffee to those after that mass. Now I see all the cars and people... and have had enough crowded pews/claustrophic experiences inside the actual Church to make my heart beat fast and my tummy seize up. So I just drive home.... disappointed in myself for not physically attending.

I used to have a perfect seat... though it was right up front - no one sat in front of me, or behind... or tried to get into the same pew... now people are right in front and in back and even sit next to me... even when there are SEVERAL other places to sit... it freaks me out... and makes me nervous and makes me annoyed and I want to leave. It's not how I want to feel when I'm in Church... so that has contributed to me not going.


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## Complicated45

I had no idea so many people felt exactly the same way as I do! 

I've tried out 3 different churches since moving to the city (4 years ago) and finally I've found one I enjoy - the atmosphere is great, music great, service great, people are so friendly (a few I went to uni with). But even though I've met some really nice people I can't stand staying afterwards to chat. The first time I was there everyone seemed to want to talk to me and it was great. But now after a few months I find myself sitting/standing alone afterwards. I have such fear of going up to people and talking to them because I think what I have to say is boring and I don't want to annoy anyone. 

A lot of the time when I am talking to someone there always seems to be someone better to talk to for that person and they go off and leave me (not intentionally). But they all have their friends and they seem so comfortable with each other. I'm so scared they think I'm a snob for not joining in, but little do they realise I'm petrified out of my mind!!

Lately I've been making up excuses to leave and I just feel sick to my stomach when I do that. 

It's nice to have a place to vent though, and know that we all understand each other! And can relate with awkward silences!


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## Warpedsanity

I'm actually almost in the exact situation as you. Except that I left my old one for my current one. I get all the trying to talk afterwards only to have them walk off when someone more interesting is there so yeah I know how it feels. I've been there for two years now, I miss here and there when I don't feel good. Half of those times its brought on by anxiety just makes my stomach really upset even the thought of dealing with it sometimes even though I enjoy it as a whole.


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## SilentJeff

I've never let awkwardness or anxiety stop me from going to church, but the afterservice part where everyone mingles and hangs around afterward has to be the ninth ring of hell. 
I have friends at church, but not a core group or a clique that I hang out with all the time, so a lot of the afterservice bull session consists of me going from cluster to cluster to catch up with people, and feeling more and more like a faker or an outsider with every long, long minute that goes by. Eating dinner with people afterward is one of the highlights of my week, but that awkward, "in between" period is something I can barely bring myself to do.


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## dirsad

I had this issue for about two months about a year ago.

My parents were in the process of moving, and were out of town every weekend. I never really felt like I had a place I belonged, and without them I stopped going wherever they went.

Each Sunday, I'd wake up and say, "I gotta go to church." But I could never bring myself to do it. Afterward, I'd start to feel really terrible.

Finally one week I decided on a church. Though I was sick of the terrible feeling, knowing that not going to church would bring about this feeling was not quite enough. I had to manipulate myself a little bit to go. I told myself, It is just a motorcycle ride, you can turn around later if you don't feel up to it. I ended up going, and am glad I did.

About a month or two later I decided to volunteer. Sending out an email (I find it easier to to send out an email than to have a face to face conversation with someone) to initiate the volunteering process was an extremely difficult thing for me to do. It took me about 20 minutes to press the send button, and I kinda regretted it after I pressed send. It took me way out of my comfort zone.

However in the end, I'm glad I made both decisions. They have been very beneficial to me...I hope to soon join a Bible Study.

I know it is rough, and I empathize with everyone's frustrations. However, imo overcoming SA is all about pushing your boundaries and getting out of the comfort zone. (easier said than done, I know) My church has given me a medium that is helping me to do that.


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## parcel

Complicated45 said:


> A lot of the time when I am talking to someone there always seems to be someone better to talk to for that person and they go off and leave me (not intentionally).


Before I became a Christian, I suffered with SA, now it dont bother me.
If people wanna talk to me fine, if they dont, fine!

I dont go outa my way to make friends or contact people.
I have been in situations where people come up to you, shake your hand whilst looking the other way, you can look strait at them and they dont even notice.
Perhaps there scared they'll miss someone they really like!

Its all "cosmetic" at the end of the day!

When people ask u "how are u", there not really interested as they expect the standard reply,"I'm fine thank you, how are you", person then replies "I'm fine thank you".
Tish tosh and a bottle of fish!

I would rather speak to one genuine person in a meeting, who mean what they say, than a whole bunch of people who dont!

So b yourself, dont expect them to notice or even b interested in you, dont think you have to talk to anyone just to be sociable.
There often too busy worrying about their own wretched lives to care for others.

Genuine friends are very rare, and u can often count them on one hand!

Yeh I know, I am a cynic, thats true, but I am also a realist!
Guess what, it works for me...................

:clap


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## sadcat

I have a hard time making it to church some Sundays. I'm comforted to remember that my church is very large, though, so I can quietly flutter out the back after service and no one will be the wiser. It's always been easier for me to interact with my fellow churchgoers in small group settings during bible studies than those big after-sermon mosh pits. I shake just thinking about it! :afr


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## Andres124

Sometimes I avoid church, but I still go anyways and do my best to not let my SA get in the way. But when I'm sitting in church and I see all the people around me it's so hard to control at that point, and I just want to get away. I feel guilty somewhat but not entirely, because I pray at night and talk to god. By the way I'm Catholic.


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## RoseWhiteRoseRed

today I went to church again (haven't been in years). I was nervous because of the amount of peole there. I did well half way thorugh, but when we had to give our offerings, I had freaked out. we had to walk near the alter to give the offering, then proceed to our seats. when we went back to our seats, I just broke down in tears, I lost control of my breathing, just had a panic attack. my mom and I stepped out into the hallway and she gave me some meds to calm me down and I was trying to regain my breathing. we went back to hear the preaching (which seems like it was directly for us).

after all the stuff I went through last year and this year so far, I had lost my faith a bit. but I realized I wouldn't be here if He had not helped me. my goal is to attend church more often and regain my faith again.


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## fight2finish

That's good that you made it to church today  I'm sorry you went through that. Thats good that you stayed. More people than we know deal with this, it truly is an epidemic. Just keep taking small steps


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## Sirenz

Yes, I've never really went to church except for some sporadic times when I was kid a friend invited me, I was also in some youth groups, not in years though. I live in a really small town now and the churches here are tiny, everyone knows each other or has a bunch of relatives that go and have gone for generations I really would feel uncomfortable/panicky about going. I miss when I did go though. The severe social anxiety makes it hard to make friends and connections to go to church let alone actually talk to people, that's the main thing stopping me, the depression makes me feel like I'm not good enough to go to church or there's no point for me to. I think once I go back and get help for this and get my life back in order then I'm going to try to go to church again because even though I only went a few times I really liked it a lot.


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## NiteOwl

Church is actually a really big problem for me I think for a couple reasons. 1 People always hug me I guess I look sad or something, I don't know, but it freaks me out. I could try to act happier, but I'm not happy when that many people are around and I don't want to pretend to be something I'm not, especially at church... 

2 I've been around several people that act one way at church and are totally different people in their every day lives. My sister is a pretty good example. She'll talk about how bad something is at church when I know for a fact she was doing that very thing the day before. Logically I know that not everyone is like that, but it's caused a lot of trust issues I guess. I just start thinking yeah they're acting nice, but what are they REALLY thinking.

I haven't been to church in a few years and I feel bad, not because I really feel like I should have to go, but because I feel like it's something I should want to do you know?


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## katyroq

Wow, so much has been said in this thread. I'd like to add my own experience with church.

I do go to church even though it is not comfortable for me. Some of the people at the church I've been at for ~5 years have been the first people in my life to truly accept me. No, they don't know about my SA necessarily, but they have known about other things in my life and struggles, and those have not caused them to reject me. I think that's what true fellowship means - accepting each other, including weaknesses.

Even though I feel more secure with these people than with anyone in the world, I still struggle with social anxiety. I am very involved in my church and I know so many people. I attend church service, Bible study group, fellowship, and often go out to lunch after the service. By the time I get home, I am often wiped out, overwhelmed, and angry at myself, replaying all the scenarios and wondering how awkward or unfreindly I seemed to others. I am still trying to figure out how to "de-stress" after church, because I know it's good but it often makes the rest of my day a complete loss. Sometimes I lie in bed and nap or just cry.

So yeah, I totally understand those of you who don't put yourself through this every week. Any advice on what helps for those of you that do?


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## millenniumman75

parcel said:


> Before I became a Christian, I suffered with SA, now it dont bother me.
> If people wanna talk to me fine, if they dont, fine!
> 
> I dont go outa my way to make friends or contact people.
> I have been in situations where people come up to you, shake your hand whilst looking the other way, you can look strait at them and they dont even notice.
> Perhaps there scared they'll miss someone they really like!
> 
> Its all "cosmetic" at the end of the day!
> 
> When people ask u "how are u", there not really interested as they expect the standard reply,"I'm fine thank you, how are you", person then replies "I'm fine thank you".
> Tish tosh and a bottle of fish!
> 
> I would rather speak to one genuine person in a meeting, who mean what they say, than a whole bunch of people who dont!
> 
> So b yourself, dont expect them to notice or even b interested in you, dont think you have to talk to anyone just to be sociable.
> There often too busy worrying about their own wretched lives to care for others.
> 
> Genuine friends are very rare, and u can often count them on one hand!
> 
> Yeh I know, I am a cynic, thats true, but I am also a realist!
> Guess what, it works for me...................
> 
> :clap


Some of these thoughts need to be checked. 
We want to relate with people, yet we think they don't want anything to do with us. That's not completely true. We have to take the risk and open up - people will respond.


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## Alienated

I don't go to church because I have learned to be a human lie detector, and all the liars, fakes, phonies, and frauds, drive me freaking NUT's.

Within 10 seconds of meeting someone I have asked myself 1 question.

If I were laying on the ground, bleeding to death.....would this person stop and help me, keep on walking, or just like the person that put me there in the first place ?

So far in the last 2 years I have gone to 29 churches, and when I explain my whole family is dead... NOT 1 and I mean NOT 1... person has even said" I am sorry for your loss".... NOT 1 will have a cup of coffee with me... NOT 1 will return my call.... NOT 1 minister will meet with me.... and NOT 1 even offered to pray with me.....SO.....

Guess where they scored....I am disgusted


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## MikeinNirvana

Alienated said:


> I don't go to church because I have learned to be a human lie detector, and all the liars, fakes, phonies, and frauds, drive me freaking NUT's.
> 
> Within 10 seconds of meeting someone I have asked myself 1 question.
> 
> If I were laying on the ground, bleeding to death.....*would this person stop and help me, keep on walking, or just like the person that put me there in the first place ?*
> 
> *So far in the last 2 years I have gone to 29 churches, and when I explain my whole family is dead... NOT 1 and I mean NOT 1... person has even said" I am sorry for your loss".... NOT 1 will have a cup of coffee with me... NOT 1 will return my call.... NOT 1 minister will meet with me.... and NOT 1 even offered to pray with me.....SO....*.
> 
> Guess where they scored....I am disgusted


I would.

Heck I even asked this girl at night walking on the street from a club while I was driving, I said do you need a ride home. 
She said, STAY THE **** AWAY FROM ME!!!
I'd lol first and I said hey but It's too dangerous out there...
She said GET AWAY FROM ME!!!
All i had to say while she was walking away fast 
HEY but I am a nice guy!!

So yea I kinda believe you there >.>


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## Lola288

The struggle to leave my house means that I find it very difficult to attend Church every Sunday. 

When I feel down about this I read the bible Romans 8:35:
'Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?...'. 

It lets me know that nothing, not even the distresses of life can actually separate me from God's love, not even judgmental church members


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## 0589471

For me, I feel like church is the center to escape from all of the worldliness we're exposed to on a regular basis, and to bring together brothers and sisters in Christ. Unfortunately, we've become very, very divided and we expect to share the same views, which is...well, frankly it isn't going to happen.

It is written that God wants us to embrace one another, and not judge each other by the way we believe, but that is for He to judge. If a man serves God, believes in God and Jesus's sacrifice, we are all united by the Cross. In that, it should be good enough, to embrace one another as followers of Christ. We're human, we don't always say or do the right thing, but we have to remember that they're not our source of life, God is. We're going to be disappointed by people, but we shouldn't give up on people because of it.

Unfortunately, there are many churches out there that just aren't in the right place, or are preaching negative messages, or people are just too afraid to step outside of their comfort zone and really absorb what is being taught. We look for preachers and church groups to interpret Faith to us, when it's supposed to be our Faith that leads us, and guides us to doing what God put in us to do. 

It took me a long time to really understand church, or appreciate it. My family was always moving from church to church, and so I never really had a church 'home' or church 'family'. I came from a good church family as a little girl, and when we moved across the country for my father's job, I was removed from it and it was never restored. I just felt like I couldn't trust people, that I didn't need to go, I could handle it myself.

But I've found in getting closer to God and His word, that we really do need one another. We need the help, the guidance, the lifting each other up in this world, because when there's no one to share your experiences with, it's difficult. It's difficult to grow and branch out, when you've got nobody by your side to share that with you.

I've been fortunate enough to find a good place, a good church with a great pastor who's honest and sensitive and you just feel God speak through him. It's a wonderful church with good people, and a belief system that closely follows my own, in the basics of what I believe, which is important because we aren't all going to have the same exact views about our entire theology, but what's important is that we accept one another as we are all united under the cross.

Even more so, I think it's important to love all people, and just ask God to help restore in you a little bit of hope in people. I think our anxiety gets the best of us and we just shut people out entirely, and blame them for every bad church experience and that they're the reason we just don't bother getting involved with anyone or any place. But that kind of thinking only makes us bitter, and cuts us off from really exploring and sharing our walk with God with others.

Maybe try and pray, ask God to help open your heart and lead you to the right place? I believe they're out there. My church website has a live stream, so if I'm having a particular day where I just can't get myself out, I can stay home and experience church from my home, through my computer. At least give it a try that way first, if you're unable to get yourself out?

God has been very good to me in repairing me and building me up, breaking down my anxiety...and I believe He can do that in you too.


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## millenniumman75

Lola288 said:


> The struggle to leave my house means that I find it very difficult to attend Church every Sunday.
> 
> When I feel down about this I read the bible Romans 8:35:
> 'Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?...'.
> 
> It lets me know that nothing, not even the distresses of life can actually separate me from God's love, not even judgmental church members


You might need to identify what is preventing you from going to church - it could be demonic. Fear would be one of them. 
We have to realize that people in church may not judge us. People there know how hard it is to get to church, especially will all of the evil forces around these days.

It's actually a comfort knowing that I go to God's house where He runs the show. There is more than enough to remove evil when you enter!


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## bananamango

Well I have grown up in a family that goes to church, except for my dad. However during the years growing up, I would alternate between going to church with my grandmother or with my mom. Both of them have switched churches at least twice, so I never really grew up in one church or made any church friends because of that. Now I currently go to church every Sunday with my grandmother because I like it a lot more than the church that my mom goes to. I think the only way I can deal with it is because I am not involved with anything. I know I have to get involved eventually but I am so hesitant to do so. I did officially join the church 4 months ago. I had been in and out of the church for a year before officially deciding to join it. But I still haven't been involved. I tithe but I don't do anything else. I feel as if it would be so embarrassing to try to get involved with anyone there and especially people my age, since they are not going to understand the SA and I am also ashamed of my life up to this point since is pretty non existent due to a lot of problems in the past. Other than graduating college over a year ago and now having a job, I literally do not know what else would keep people interested in me and I dread trying to keep up new relationships because of this. I could listen to them and their lives, but of course they are going to want to know about my life, and that is the most sensitive area about me. I do not want to share much info because it was so upsetting, and I don't want people making it worse by their reaction if I do tell them. But if I don't tell them, it would be pretty hard to explain why my life is the way it is. It is so frustrating what I am going through right now. I need to start living instead of existing, and I need the right people to do that with. I am hoping to meet people in church but the problem is overcoming the fear to do so.


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## matahari

going to church gives me the strength that i need for the day and times ahead. its like we eat everyday, we need to go to His Houses of the Holy at least once a week to replenish the faith and never lost track of life.


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## Scarves n Converse

My SA has recently inflamed to the point where I just can't be comfortable in my church. There are so many people, and they always like to talk to me, and I just freak out. I am a follower of God, but my SA just keeps me from being comfortable around other God-followers.


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## JackDaniels

LostInReverie said:


> Is there anyone who is a Christian yet doesn't go to church because of their SA?
> 
> If so, do you feel guilty because of it?


You don't have to go anywhere to be a Christian.
Pray anywhere you want.
Plus trust me Church today aren't a good place to pray in.
Jesus was very humble and church are the opposite to that with their fancy building and golds and accessories...

I stopped going to church because of that.


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## hoddesdon

Sunshine009 said:


> Catholic churches do not have talking after the services, people leave.


I did not know that.


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## Lonelyguy111

*RE: "Christian" Apathy and Inaction*



Alienated said:


> I don't go to church because I have learned to be a human lie detector, and all the liars, fakes, phonies, and frauds, drive me freaking NUT's.
> 
> Within 10 seconds of meeting someone I have asked myself 1 question.
> 
> If I were laying on the ground, bleeding to death.....would this person stop and help me, keep on walking, or just like the person that put me there in the first place ?
> 
> So far in the last 2 years I have gone to 29 churches, and when I explain my whole family is dead... NOT 1 and I mean NOT 1... person has even said" I am sorry for your loss".... NOT 1 will have a cup of coffee with me... NOT 1 will return my call.... NOT 1 minister will meet with me.... and NOT 1 even offered to pray with me.....SO.....
> 
> Guess where they scored....I am disgusted


I completely relate to you.
I have been a Christian for years, ( I try to ), and the apathy and lack of compassion in the churches kept me away from the Church for a long time. Most churches are shallow social gatherings and most of the "Christians' there do not care if you live or die, literally.

I was always involved in charity work for years helping the handicapped and elderly and even now have a charity web site and charity database I distribute to homeless shelters, churches, and social agencies and I find most churches are not involved in charity work at all or very little.

Sad to say, most "Christians' here in the USA are all talk and no or little action. Talk is cheap and talk is easy. I too have been thoroughly disgusted with what I have seen for years in the churches. They want the membership numbers, the money, and to have fun; to be entertained.

With my experiences, most times when the churches have asked for volunteers to help with something worthwhile, it is almost impossible to get volunteers even for something as important as helping the homeless and those with medical emergencies. It is exasperating and discouraging.

I am an official member of 2 large churches here in North Carolina, one with a membership of 4000, mostly young, upper class IT professionals with a lot of money; a church that had 14 million in income last year, and they have almost NO charity work !!!!!

I have talked to all the pastors there including the head pastor and they tell the members to go out elsewhere *IF* they want to do charity work, yet this church with millions of dollars each year does not even help out with food ! I donate food to a homeless shelter and I told the pastor that if each member brought ONE can of food, the shelter would overflow with food ! No dice. He did not give a crap. Nope. Just give us our millions of dollars and let us entertain you.

In answer to your question; " If I were laying on the ground, bleeding to death.....would this person stop and help me, keep on walking, or just like the person that put me there in the first place ?"

More than likely few if any would try to help you and would just stand there and "pray for you" and would be too cowardly and apathetic to actually try to help you. I have seen things like that countless times in the churches.

Sorry to ramble on about this, but this subject really gets me angry.


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## Tam1

Yes, It is very hard for me to go to church because of my social anxiety.


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## 7th.Streeter

Wow &#128562; I'm appalled...but after my experience... I learned that every one, from church members to pastors are just human....


Alienated said:


> I don't go to church because I have learned to be a human lie detector, and all the liars, fakes, phonies, and frauds, drive me freaking NUT's.
> 
> Within 10 seconds of meeting someone I have asked myself 1 question.
> 
> If I were laying on the ground, bleeding to death.....would this person stop and help me, keep on walking, or just like the person that put me there in the first place ?
> 
> So far in the last 2 years I have gone to 29 churches, and when I explain my whole family is dead... NOT 1 and I mean NOT 1... person has even said" I am sorry for your loss".... NOT 1 will have a cup of coffee with me... NOT 1 will return my call.... NOT 1 minister will meet with me.... and NOT 1 even offered to pray with me.....SO.....
> 
> Guess where they scored....I am disgusted


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## Tam1

Anyone here that's wants to start a group in large fl?


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## Tam1

Largo fl


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## meghankira

i haven't been to church in over a year (excluding Christmas). I don't really feel guilty about it anymore, I'm beginning to accept that I can't step foot in a church and for now its okay.


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## hoddesdon

^ there are services posted on the Internet e.g. St Thomas in Sydney and St Johns in Launceston.


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## LostGiraffe

LostInReverie said:


> Is there anyone who is a Christian yet doesn't go to church because of their SA?
> 
> If so, do you feel guilty because of it?


I live smack dab in the middle of the Bible Belt. I do have SA, and yes it is especially hard to find an accepting church that I am comfortable with. People are twice as judgmental here as they are anywhere else. Most folks around here don't even believe in mental diseases, just physical ones. The "weird" kids in my high school that got picked on we're always the ones with a mental disease. This whole town is one big high school, including the churches. Most of them expect you to sit right up front with everyone else. They do not like people sitting in the back, or they will call you out on in, in a nice manner of course, but still drawing attention. Can I not sit quietly, listen, and pray to my God how I want to without being surrounded by smelly old people and loud children? They have everybody "mingle" for 10 minutes to get to know each other. Bible class is like school, seeing who knows the most verses and whatnot. Prayer is all open. Sorry, but I do not feel like sharing to 300 people in this tiny town that my mother is in AA or that I smoke marijuana occasionally to help calm my nerves, only to have them judge me more/arrest me. And God forbid if you are a homosexual in this town. No acceptance for you. I am a Christian, don't get me wrong at all. It's the churches and the people in the town that make it difficult to boost my faith. I know though that I am already a lot better off than some of these "Christians" who attend church twice a week.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LostGiraffe

MikeinNirvana said:


> I would.
> 
> Heck I even asked this girl at night walking on the street from a club while I was driving, I said do you need a ride home.
> She said, STAY THE **** AWAY FROM ME!!!
> I'd lol first and I said hey but It's too dangerous out there...
> She said GET AWAY FROM ME!!!
> All i had to say while she was walking away fast
> HEY but I am a nice guy!!
> 
> So yea I kinda believe you there >.>


That's a nice intention of you to do man, but you need to be "helping an old lady cross the street" nice. Not "riding at night let me pick up some girl and take her home" MOST smart girls would say no if some random dude just offered her a ride. Us girls have to be way more careful when it comes to things like that, obviously. A lot of people take someone's kindness and use that as their weakness.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LostGiraffe

Lonelyguy111 said:


> I completely relate to you.
> I have been a Christian for years, ( I try to ), and the apathy and lack of compassion in the churches kept me away from the Church for a long time. Most churches are shallow social gatherings and most of the "Christians' there do not care if you live or die, literally.
> 
> I was always involved in charity work for years helping the handicapped and elderly and even now have a charity web site and charity database I distribute to homeless shelters, churches, and social agencies and I find most churches are not involved in charity work at all or very little.
> 
> Sad to say, most "Christians' here in the USA are all talk and no or little action. Talk is cheap and talk is easy. I too have been thoroughly disgusted with what I have seen for years in the churches. They want the membership numbers, the money, and to have fun; to be entertained.
> 
> With my experiences, most times when the churches have asked for volunteers to help with something worthwhile, it is almost impossible to get volunteers even for something as important as helping the homeless and those with medical emergencies. It is exasperating and discouraging.
> 
> I am an official member of 2 large churches here in North Carolina, one with a membership of 4000, mostly young, upper class IT professionals with a lot of money; a church that had 14 million in income last year, and they have almost NO charity work !!!!!
> 
> I have talked to all the pastors there including the head pastor and they tell the members to go out elsewhere *IF* they want to do charity work, yet this church with millions of dollars each year does not even help out with food ! I donate food to a homeless shelter and I told the pastor that if each member brought ONE can of food, the shelter would overflow with food ! No dice. He did not give a crap. Nope. Just give us our millions of dollars and let us entertain you.
> 
> In answer to your question; " If I were laying on the ground, bleeding to death.....would this person stop and help me, keep on walking, or just like the person that put me there in the first place ?"
> 
> More than likely few if any would try to help you and would just stand there and "pray for you" and would be too cowardly and apathetic to actually try to help you. I have seen things like that countless times in the churches.
> 
> Sorry to ramble on about this, but this subject really gets me angry.


COMPLETELY agree with you! Same with all the churches in my area. They will raise thousands of dollars to send people to Africa but they can't even help out our local food bank. You would think Christians would be environmentally friendly but they are the worst about that too. Like have you ever heard of recycling or maybe building a park instead of another damn church?! As you can see, this subject makes me angry too. It makes me sad more than anything. I'm sure God is shaking his head too at all the new age "Christians".
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JohnDoe26

LostInReverie said:


> Is there anyone who is a Christian yet doesn't go to church because of their SA?
> 
> If so, do you feel guilty because of it?


Yeah. I used to go to Mass every Sunday but not anymore because of my SA. I hated the part where we had to do the sign of peace (hand shake), so lame. But I liked it for the most part since you get to keep to yourself.


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## Lonelyguy111

LostGiraffe said:


> COMPLETELY agree with you! Same with all the churches in my area. They will raise thousands of dollars to send people to Africa but they can't even help out our local food bank. You would think Christians would be environmentally friendly but they are the worst about that too. Like have you ever heard of recycling or maybe building a park instead of another damn church?! As you can see, this subject makes me angry too. It makes me sad more than anything. I'm sure God is shaking his head too at all the new age "Christians".
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I appreciate your post quote. I posted this a while back and almost forgot about it.

I still am involved with the church but I am going to stay away from most of the large wealthy ones like the ones I mentioned before here in NC. Even with my SA, I have always liked to help out people in serious trouble and needs and have done that for years and you cannot do it alone so I get frustrated with many of the churches. When I was in my 20s for instance a while back, the church I was in had about 1200 people and when 2 girls who started a service to help war refugees get furniture and basic necessities, we could only get 4 people including myself out of 1200 despite repeated announcements. That was years ago and nothing has changed.

Sorry to complain but that is something that really gets me ticked off. I know what it is to suffer prolonged horrible physical pain as well as mental pain and apathy towards terrible suffering riles me. When these people lose their homes, have a health problem that leaves them penniless and in terrible pain, when then have been in a war or terrible accident or get a terminal disease..... THEY will be the first ones to DEMAND help even though they did nothing for anyone else.

Thanks for listening !
Peace.


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## Lonelyguy111

i just realized that my rants were off topic ! :O

I did stay away from church for several years a while back largely because of my SA and it does interfere with my church attendance sometimes. Small groups and one-on-one in churches are the hardest for me because I do not like having people get to know me - that is my SA taking over.


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## tea111red

Yeah, I guess. I feel like I would be judged for being too "bad" and not religious enough. Also, judged for not having much of a social life and other problems.

I mean, maybe I'd go if I thought I'd encounter more people like me, but I guess I'd have to step in there to know this. I guess that'd take a lot of courage for me to do, though. I just feel like there is a big possibility of experiencing more disappointment.


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## twitchy666

*Meant to like people*

not every person is good


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## Memory

Yeah I barely ever go anymore. I hate how much mental energy it takes to be around so many people. 
It stinks because I feel far from God and probably need to go now more than ever.


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## givinganonion

I went to a church BBQ last summer to work on my SA and met my GF  . I tend not to get close to people, but I've had some success with churches in finding people who want to be caring and develop. It's easier for me with things like bible studies or other events than worship services or coffee hours, where people aren't talking to each other as much, or at least not so much to new people.


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## Kevin001

I think I need to start going....yeah the anxiety will be there but I could meet new people, get closer to God, join more social events maybe, and help out my community more.


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## tea111red

yeah. it's hard to get myself to go. i think a lot of that has to do w/ not feeling like i will belong or fit in there. also, i would want to go in the hopes of meeting people around my own age and i don't really feel like i will so that makes me even more reluctant. i know you are supposed to go to learn about God, though. i feel like i could just do that at home...


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