# How long is too long



## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

I am 24 and still living at home because of my anxiety. I really don't see no hope in the near future for me to move out. I have little money, no resources, no friends, and lots of fear of change. I feel like I will be here until I die, don't see any way out. Need advice on how to begin my quest for independence while suffering from severe anxiety. Please help.........


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## meandernorth (Nov 12, 2014)

The first step would probably be to work with a therapist or psychiatrist. Depending on the state, county, or municipality, there may be income-based free or reduced-cost resources that you're entitled to. Once you have a treatment plan established and resources lined up, you can begin working on a strategy for moving forward. Not everywhere but, in many places, you'll find people will assist you if you're motivated to seek their assistance. After all, it's in everyone's best interests, including yours, for you to positively move forward. It will take time and effort but it can be done.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Thanks for replying, I just have to somehow get over my fear of change and make a step forward. I will try to see a therapist soon and go from there.


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## fishinbarrel (Jan 19, 2015)

kevin001 i'm in the same boat, the fear of change leads to the worst anxiety of all. Do you have any hobbies, I've found really focussing on something you enjoy can tone the anxiety down and give purpose. Pushups and running are free and have really helped me feel more relaxed. I also go to an anxiety support group weekly, not sure what resources are in your area. Having no friends, yup same here, that just means you have less a**heads in your life to keep tabs with hahaha thats what i keep telling myself anyway. keep trying to move forward no matter how the s*** hits the fan. Sometimes small steps, like exercising a few times a week can make a huge difference.
Cheers matey


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

fishinbarrel said:


> kevin001 i'm in the same boat, the fear of change leads to the worst anxiety of all. Do you have any hobbies, I've found really focussing on something you enjoy can tone the anxiety down and give purpose. Pushups and running are free and have really helped me feel more relaxed. I also go to an anxiety support group weekly, not sure what resources are in your area. Having no friends, yup same here, that just means you have less a**heads in your life to keep tabs with hahaha thats what i keep telling myself anyway. keep trying to move forward no matter how the s*** hits the fan. Sometimes small steps, like exercising a few times a week can make a huge difference.
> Cheers matey


Thanks, lol.


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## GloomyTracy (Jan 17, 2015)

I don't believe there is a "too long" when it comes to living with the parental unit. SA wouldn't allow me to live on a college campus, and that should have been the time for me to break the bond, but I did not and got adapted to being at home during college and beyond, and that has worried the parental unit here to the point where they have informed me that they are leaving this house to me in their will, so it would be rude now to leave after they have made that kind of life decision.

I have a friend who is 31 or 32 now and burdened by heavy student loan debts and she lives at home with her parents and I had an ex-boyfriend who lost his job and moved into his mother's basement because his dad had died and mom needed help around the house (yardwork and snow removal and such).

There is no shame in living at home and trying to help your parent(s), especially if you are religious, the Bible has numerous passages about helping and honoring parents beyond just the 5th Commandment.


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## harry26 (Dec 4, 2014)

you need to some motivator who can motivate.when you are free read some interesting stories of famous celebrities.enjoy with your friends and family members.i think it lots of confidence you get back.


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## Hayman (Dec 27, 2014)

I wouldn't worry too much, Kevin001. I'm 29 (30 in April) and still at home with the parents. From what you describe, I'm basically you five years further along…! I also have no friends, I hate change and precious few resources thanks to a low-paid job. I simply couldn't afford to move out as even renting a modest property around here would eat up half of my monthly income immediately. Everything I own sits in my bedroom, barring the car of course.

Besides, my parents need me financially. My father had to change jobs three years ago (long story) and in the process took a significant pay cut due to the difficult economic climate. We even moved house and downsized at the same time. If I was to move out, I doubt my parents could afford to keep the house running. It’s a case of pay the domestic bills and have about £100 to live off for the rest of the month. This includes food and fuel. Or, take a few hundred pounds off me a month whilst living there so we can all get by…just.

Unfortunately, I can't see myself taking any steps in order to move out into my own place any time soon. I wouldn't be at all surprised if I'm still at home with the parents in another five, if not ten years. I'm not expecting anything else. The money simply isn't there and to be honest, I'm not sure if I could cope alone. I can't even cope with the parents around me…

The only positive I can see is that I have a cousin who hasn't long turned 40 who still lives at home with the parents. However, she was involved in a relationship some 12/14 years ago and did live with her partner for a few years before that turned sour. At least she's had the experience of a relationship. I haven't…


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## Grog (Sep 13, 2013)

Step,1 stable job your comfortable doing 
Step 2 do that job and save save save , living is expensive 
Step 3 do some traveling and hey used to living out side your comfort zone for a few weeks at a time 
Step 4 move out to somewhere affordable close to family for support if your lucky enough to have it 
Step 5 celebrate a massive achievement . 

I think I haven't missed a step .


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Grog said:


> Step,1 stable job your comfortable doing
> Step 2 do that job and save save save , living is expensive
> Step 3 do some traveling and hey used to living out side your comfort zone for a few weeks at a time
> Step 4 move out to somewhere affordable close to family for support if your lucky enough to have it
> ...


I've tried to do those things, I couldn't my anxiety was too bad. Good steps, thanks.


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## GetOutOfMyHouse (Jan 9, 2012)

I'm 29 and still with them, my brother is 36 and still with them, in my culture is completely normal, most people I know lived with their parents even into their 40's, some stay with their families forever together so it's not really a big problem, but I feel like a loser because I always wanted to get out very young, I did when I was in college during my 18 -26 and I didn't enjoy it that much because of my sad. 

I feel so lost...


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## Fold Space (Feb 2, 2015)

Pick a city far away and stick your thumb out. Worked for me. But that was a long time ago.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

I'm 25 and in the same situation. I feel bad about still living at home, but there are people older as me who are also still living at home. My brother is almost 24 and still lives at home, and he doesn't have problems like sa and he has a job. A guy next door is 32 and still lives with his parents, and so does his 23-year old sister. I have 2 cousins in their early 40s (I think) and they still live with their parents.

I get that you want a life, but you're not the only one who still lives at home. But what others have written, you first need to work on yourself, too get less anxious. And when that gets better, you can focus on moving out etc


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## ashleynoelle87 (Feb 22, 2014)

I used to hate that I still lived at home, especially since some of my acquaintances would make fun of me about it. Over the years I've realized that it really doesn't matter where you live. It doesn't make you a horrible person if you still live with your parents in you 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond. You should live where you are comfortable living, and if you ever decide that you feel you can live on your own, you should go for it. I don't know why people make such a big deal out of living with parents after the age of 18. It boggles my mind. I know so many people my age and older who still live at home.


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

living at home is normal, just make sure you have a double size bed so you can still bring chicks home


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## TuxedoChief (Jan 11, 2015)

My Sister always said that moving out was the biggest mistakes that she made, And I agree.

Seriously, You're:

- Not living with the possibility of being thrown out at anytime
- Living with supportive, friendly people
- Saving a crapload more money than people flatting will ever hope to.

The impression I'm getting is that most people who move out early aren't ready at all, they're just doing it because they can. And then I'm proven right when they come crawling back. _They always do_.

Staying at home, You're probably better off. No, scratch that, You are.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

monotonous said:


> living at home is normal, just make sure you have a double size bed so you can still bring chicks home


Its Queen Size, lol.


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## TheAmorri (Feb 2, 2015)

Hmm. I've lived in two different supported housing properties over the last two years due to a similar situation (relationship with the rents just broke down slowly as I kept asking for weed money and that). I can still visit often as I've changed a lot since then, but ultimately still pretty lonely until I can find the money for a non private landlord place. My advice would be to just be kind to your family and use all the help you can get with SA whist living with others. Alone can be major *** suck. xD


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## TheAmorri (Feb 2, 2015)

Oh and am 23 this year so same age thereabouts, don't sweat it just make the effort when you can


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

9 inches


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

mezzoforte said:


> 9 inches


lol:clap


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