# Do you find Androgyny attractive?



## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Just wondering about your thoughts on this SAS. Do you find androgyny to be an attractive trait? There was an intersting thread on another board about this; and one poster raised the point that for androgynous men at least bi/lesbian women find it the most attractive (but obviously the latter purely on an aesthetic level) and it's considerably rarer for straight women to appreciate it. 


Also, for the guys on here - what do you think of women who are androgynous both in terms of looks and personality. I.E women that aren't overly girly/don't dress particularly feminine.


----------



## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

yes because i am a androgynus male

and because them females a sexy as **** ;D
i like my girls to be a little masculine xD yum!!


----------



## hobo10 (Apr 28, 2009)

I am a straight female and no surprise, I DO NOT find androgyny attractive.


----------



## Cassabell (Dec 14, 2011)

i am a straight female....but i find looks like, David Bowie, for example extreeeemely attractive. i am definitely straight, but i have always like that type of look.


----------



## mistyeyes (Oct 27, 2011)

*Umm no..*

I am a straight female and I'm not overly girly (hate shopping etc.) but I'm not androgynous.

I enjoy my men MANLY - Rugged, handsome, and.. Manly. Lol!


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I am an androgynous male, who sometimes is mistaken for a girl.

From my experience, I get hit on by more women when I look girly, than when I get my hair cut short and wear a beard.


----------



## Cassabell (Dec 14, 2011)

WintersTale said:


> I am an androgynous male, who sometimes is mistaken for a girl.
> 
> From my experience, I get hit on by more women when I look girly, than when I get my hair cut short and wear a beard.


i can understand that, WintersTale, because I personally love men who are kinda pretty. when i say that I mean long lashes, or boyish faces, i think its really really attractive, i have been like that since 16, and im 29 now!


----------



## Brad (Dec 27, 2011)

Im a Bi guy, but it usually depends on the person really. I almost never find feminine guys attractive though


----------



## GaaraAgain (Oct 10, 2011)

I'm bi and find androgyny attractive in both sexes. I could be described as androgynous.


----------



## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

I love how you put Yay or Nay, I usually use that when asking a yes no question. anywho.

I would be neutral. I have definitely found girls like that attractive but not a lot.


----------



## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

I'm usually not attracted to androgynous women. I'm normally attracted to girly girls, in the sense of being sweet, non-aggressive, kind of delicate, will let me handle the physical stuff, etc.


----------



## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Paper Samurai said:


> Also, for the guys on here - what do you think of women who are androgynous both in terms of looks and personality. I.E women that aren't overly girly/don't dress particularly feminine.


There's being "not overly girly" and THEN there's "downright androgynous".

A girl who acts or dresses like a guy can be really attractive, depending. But being truly androgynous? That doesn't do it for me, no.


----------



## jaymusic1992 (Dec 14, 2011)

i love girly men!! and manly women!!


----------



## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

Ape in space said:


> I'm usually not attracted to androgynous women. I'm normally attracted to girly girls, in the sense of being sweet, non-aggressive, kind of delicate, will let me handle the physical stuff, etc.


:ditto me too


----------



## intelligentsensory (Dec 19, 2011)

first of all, i had to google that word... never heard it before... after reading the definition for it... nope!!!... in fact i hate that Emma Watson cut her hair. i just find her none-attractive with short hair... or for that matter any female with big muscles or being aggressive... i mean genders have a role. the role they play relates to how they look...


----------



## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

I like girly girls (i.e. long hair,high voice tone,bubbly personality, pink,red,purple, and more pink clothes,thick in the stomach and hips - well compared to the rest of her body - sensitive, submissive etc)


----------



## intelligentsensory (Dec 19, 2011)

> It depends. I like short hair and a masculine build on men. I've noticed that some of the straight men have a gayish accent here in San Francisco; not attractive. I don't like guys that are very uptight though; like the kind of guy who would get all upset about wearing a pink t-shirt or putting a bit of glitter in his hair.


 i see that as a contradiction.


----------



## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

No...


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Emma Watson still looks feminine with short hair, though.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

intelligentsensory said:


> i see that as a contradiction.


You can still be masculine without having a stick up your butt.


----------



## intelligentsensory (Dec 19, 2011)

females, do you find this attractive?







LOL!


----------



## intelligentsensory (Dec 19, 2011)

> You can still be masculine without having a stick up your butt.


 oh yeah, how would a "feminine" female know the answer to that? edit: lol... being masculine... lol


----------



## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Just to clear things up, androgyny is in simple terms gender blending :b Men with female characteristics/ women with male characteristics. (appearance / personality) Like alot of things there are also different degrees to it, so it's not necessarily all or nothing so to speak.

Some examples:


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Yeah, that's what I mean.

For example, this dude:


----------



## offbyone (May 5, 2010)

I can appreciate androgyny so I voted yay. It isn't always my preference but I don't find it offensive at all and like it at times.



komorikun said:


> You can still be masculine without having a stick up your butt.


Totally want to make a dirty joke here.


----------



## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

In certain cases. Kristen Stewart is sexy as hell. I like the fact that she isn't all girly. I like eyeliner on some male celebs too, er, even though a lot of them turn out to be gay. But I don't know if I'd like it in RL, I mean it all seems just a sort of ''persona'' I associate with an 'act', and not something that you could accept as part of everyday life. Like if my bf started wearing eyeliner in public, that would be weird. :wtf


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Yeah, Kirsten Stewart is cute with her shorter hair. She has a natural look that's appealing.

Emma also looks cute with her short hair, but I prefer her with longer hair. Then she goes from "just pretty" to "stunning."


----------



## intelligentsensory (Dec 19, 2011)

> Like if my bf started wearing eyeliner in public, that would be weird.


 of course, only females do that, wear eyeliner... or male goths... but in general... you would feel weird sharing your eyeliner (or him asking for yours) with your BF... i don't understand why females don't understand their "role"...


----------



## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

WintersTale said:


> Yeah, Kirsten Stewart is cute with her shorter hair. She has a natural look that's appealing.
> 
> Emma also looks cute with her short hair, but I prefer her with longer hair. Then she goes from "just pretty" to "stunning."


Incidentally, I don't get the whole Emma thing, I don't see it at all. She seems so bland and generic to me. :um I can barely tell her apart from other people.


----------



## intelligentsensory (Dec 19, 2011)

> Totally want to make a dirty joke here.


 lol... although, i don't get "her" point. by her i mean, komorikum.... sorry if i spelled it wrong... but i am sure it starts with komo....


----------



## offbyone (May 5, 2010)

intelligentsensory said:


> lol... although, i don't get "her" point. by her i mean, komorikum.... sorry if i spelled it wrong... but i am sure it starts with komo....


She means you can be masculine without slavishly conforming to gender norms.


----------



## intelligentsensory (Dec 19, 2011)

^ i don't like people whom speak for others... i would rather hear it from the wolves mouth... thanks.  komo?


----------



## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

I guess it isn't a huge issue for me, except that I really, strongly prefer longer hair on girls. I simply never find really short hair attractive. Even on female celebrities that everyone else insists are a 9 or 10, if their hair is less than shoulder length... it just doesn't work for me.

Not to say that short hair automatically = androgyny, of course.


----------



## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

No. I like my men to be masculine.


----------



## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

I prefer it. I prefer short hair and male clothing on women, and some mixture of masculine qualities. I don't like long hair on men possibly because it reminds me of my father, my mother's crushes, and many people I dislike. I like when men are quite androgynous in attitude and not highly masculine in appearance.


----------



## trendyfool (Apr 11, 2010)

I like it when the individual is more than masculine or feminine...I like it when someone's identity is based on something more interesting than that, I guess. Because anyone can be masculine, feminine or both, but not just anyone is loyal, interesting, funny, smart, etc. Idk, to me "masculine" "feminine" and "androgynous" are all neutral words with no good or bad connotations...it's all up to the traits of the specific person in question.

I think it's awesome when people have the confidence to be themselves, though, and I appreciate it when they aren't afraid to go against gender norms, like in the pictures above


----------



## con4cyn (Dec 11, 2011)

I don't know if this is because I watched a lot of MTV in the eighties growing up, but I like men with long hair and eyeliner. That's like every rocker practically from new wave to goth industrial music. *shrug*


----------



## Hiccups (Jul 15, 2011)

I voted yay but I do prefer when someone has aspects (personality wise) of both.. in this sense.. colour > black or white.


----------



## smt074 (Dec 16, 2011)

I'm a straight guy and I definitely prefer feminine women. Longish hair, curves, etc.


----------



## The Silent 1 (Aug 21, 2011)

No, I prefer women with a more feminine look.


----------



## wrongnumber (May 24, 2009)

I appreciate androgynous appearances in both men and women because I find it aesthetically interesting but I'm not necessarily attracted to it. I'm pretty sure I'm mostly straight and I think I'm mostly attracted to men who look typical - moderately masculine. Strong masculine or feminine features in men (as in facial features, clothing and demeanor) are less attractive to me.


----------



## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

wrongnumber said:


> *I appreciate androgynous appearances in both men and women because I find it aesthetically interesting but I'm not necessarily attracted to it. *I'm pretty sure I'm mostly straight and I think I'm mostly attracted to men who look typical - moderately masculine. Strong masculine or feminine features in men (as in facial features, clothing and demeanor) are less attractive to me.


This. I find average looking people more appealing, however I do think there are some very beautiful androgynous people out there, I just don't find myself _attracted to_ them. I did go through a phase in my teenage years though, where I was very into really girly looking guys.


----------



## Petrovsk Mizinski (Nov 29, 2011)

WintersTale said:


> Yeah, that's what I mean.
> 
> For example, this dude:


I'm gonna say this straight out :

Males that look like this are seriously one of the things wrong with some men today.

Why do people feel the need to go so far out of their way to look "different" or "unique"?
Surely has to be some kind of underlying mental problems, because there is just something not right there mentally when you wake up in the morning and decide you deliberately present yourself in a way that makes you look like a complete freak.
I just can't take people that look like this seriously at all.

Would be good if someone could explain to me what makes a male want to have this kind of external appearance, because I don't get it AT ALL.


----------



## InOHIO (Dec 29, 2011)

I am a boisexual female and I find androgyny very attractive, epsecially in women. I still like them to be feminine, but when a girl can pull off a short hair cut, and can dress like a guy but still look good, that is sexy to me. I don't see many androgyneous men around here.. but I wouldn't be opposed to it, lol.


----------



## Misanthropic79 (May 6, 2011)

Paper Samurai said:


>


Normally I'd have to say no and I have been out with an androgynous female so I've experienced it but ultimately I prefer girly girls. I will say that I saw a show that the above female pictured was in and like I said normally I wouldn't be interested but whoever she is there was something about her character/look I found attractive, so I suppose never say never.


----------



## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

I'm all over the place and it hardly ever matters... the individual is what either attracts me or turns me off... makeup, tattoos and piercings turn me off... I like natural (it's less distracting)... as far as the rest... if a spark happens... it's just there.

I've been attracted to men who are old and young and everywhere in between, hair that is short, long and in between (but I hate gel or hairspray), skin that is soft or rough, shaven or unshaven.... height - medium to short (I do have issues with tall men - because I am only 5' short).


----------



## Marakunda (Jun 7, 2011)

HELL yes. Androgyny all day, erry day... 

F**k norms, people are who they want to be. Whatever makes you stand out, whatever makes you different is only a positive thing. Boyish girls, girly guys, be proud! 

Unfortunately I'm stuck with my rough somewhat masculine looks. 
I look like a mean, serious, no fun guy... 

But I'm quite the opposite of that. XD


----------



## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Misanthropic79 said:


> Normally I'd have to say no and I have been out with an androgynous female so I've experienced it but ultimately I prefer girly girls. I will say that I saw a show that the above female pictured was in and like I said normally I wouldn't be interested but whoever she is there was something about her character/look I found attractive, so I suppose never say never.


Her name is Katherine Moennig - and I agree she is very attractive :yes

As a side note, I also find her voice attractive. It's definitely a female voice, but it's deeper than usual if that makes sense. Most guys here have mentioned already that they like high pitched female voices, I'm wondering if I'm the only one. :b


----------



## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

Straight and no i don't find androgyny particularly attractive. That doesn't mean i would absolutely rule out an androgynous female for that reason alone if i felt some chemistry.


----------



## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Petrovsk Mizinski said:


> I'm gonna say this straight out :
> 
> Males that look like this are seriously one of the things wrong with some men today.
> 
> ...





















More pics of that guy btw :b On a more serious note, would a straight guy be considered gay for finding him attractive - he's so feminine I don't think you would. :teeth


----------



## humourless (Sep 27, 2011)

Is the word "tomboy" used any more to describe girls/women who act and look a little male? I don't mind a hint of this as long as they aren't too aggressive or rude. It implies an active lifestyle and I quite like the sporty type! (even at my age???):um


----------



## Misanthropic79 (May 6, 2011)

Paper Samurai said:


> Her name is Katherine Moennig - and I agree she is very attractive :yes
> 
> As a side note, I also find her voice attractive. It's definitely a female voice, but it's deeper than usual if that makes sense. Most guys here have mentioned already that they like high pitched female voices, I'm wondering if I'm the only one. :b


No, you're not the only one as I think her voice plays into her attractiveness aswell and the deepness of it doesn't add anything more to her androgynous look, nor (imo) would that kind of voice take away from the average woman's femininity.

A higher pitched voice is more typically female but many a man will profess love for a female with a deeper voice. Add raspy/husky to deeper (which Katherine lacks) and a lot of men find it very sexy. :yes


----------



## soulless (Dec 18, 2010)

I find Elly Jackson of La Roux very attractive, and Noomi Rapace in the swedish Girl With the Dragon Tattoo films


----------



## anthrotex (Oct 24, 2011)

I think androgyny can be attractive, just as being lipstick can be, butch can be, etc. I think it depends on the person more-so than the style.


----------



## MoniqueS (Feb 21, 2011)

I can't say that I really find it attractive. I think it can work for people, but I've never been attracted to an overly androgynous guy.


----------



## Karuni (Jun 26, 2011)

I think it can depend for me. I have had some fantasy crushes on some rather feminine looking male anime/video game characters before. However, a dude with long hair doesn't do it for me. Below the shoulders is a no. For real life guys, if he can be easily mistaken for a girl, I'd probably not be too attracted superficially. But for every rule, there are exceptions.

I think I'd prefer a guy who's kinda masculine but not too masculine. Being very muscular and aggressive really intimidates me. I'm definitely not a girly girl myself - I like violent video games, wear t-shirts/jeans exclusively, and swear around friends but I do like some "pretty" things and love cute animals, so I'm kind of a little masculine and feminine at the same time myself. I'm not androgynous though and haven't been called a boy before (in real life).


----------



## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

soulless said:


> I find Elly Jackson of La Roux very attractive, and *Noomi Rapace in the swedish Girl With the Dragon Tattoo films*


+1 rep


----------



## Petrovsk Mizinski (Nov 29, 2011)

Karuni said:


> I have had some fantasy crushes on some rather feminine looking male anime/video game characters before


wut


----------



## Visionary (Apr 13, 2010)

intelligentsensory said:


> first of all, i had to google that word... never heard it before... after reading the definition for it... nope!!!... in fact i hate that Emma Watson cut her hair. i just find her none-attractive with short hair... or for that matter any female with big muscles or being aggressive... i mean genders have a role. the role they play relates to how they look...


She looks the same to me. :-/


----------



## Hiccups (Jul 15, 2011)

Petrovsk Mizinski said:


> I'm gonna say this straight out :
> 
> Males that look like this are seriously one of the things wrong with some men today.
> 
> ...


_"Why do people feel the need to go so far out of their way to look "different" or "unique"?"_

Personally I sometimes wish I wasn't so androgynous in looks, I wish I could wear more feminine clothes and have them look "right" but they just don't so I wear what feels comfortable and what suits me, it's all apart of _me being me_. Unfortunately for some, "being me" isn't feminine enough... purely on a physically level and that's a huge part of my BDD. 
I can only assume that the person in the picture you quoted wouldn't look very masculine even if he tried.. the picture does look quite emphasised, maybe he's just dressed up going out.. I doubt it's a look that he has everyday. Why is he dressed that way? Natural expression of who he is? Because he likes it?

_"Surely has to be some kind of underlying mental problems, because there is just something not right there mentally when you wake up in the morning and decide you deliberately present yourself in a way that makes you look like a complete freak."_

yeah that sounds really harsh, cruel and insensitive.. some people are just born with less hormones than others... should they be labelled mentally ill for it? I don't think so. Sometimes I wish I was born with more hormones just so I wouldn't be harassed by insensitive bigots but I accept who I am, just.. despite how hard some make it for me. Even those that are born with more hormones one way or the other and decide to dress outside the norm or whatever it's their choice and _they're_ happy with it. Just because _you_ think they look freaky doesn't make them mentally ill in any way. >_<

_"I just can't take people that look like this seriously at all."_

well I'm not sure anyone is demanding a great deal from you.. but a little tolerance of human diversity won't kill you, right? I'm willing to tolerate these harsh comments of yours despite how hurtful I find them.


----------



## Petrovsk Mizinski (Nov 29, 2011)

@ Hiccups :

I knew that some people would have the attitude of "I ain't touching that post", but I also knew at least someone would have the balls to step up to the plate and give me a real response so major props to you, seriously.

The world has been a cold, cruel, harsh place to me and consequently it's made me a pretty bitter, up front and blunt person at times, but don't mistake me for some A-hole not willing to listen and learn, because I come here with an open mind for anyone willing to take the time to respond and possibly teach me about something I don't fully understand/don't know about.

I and many others (at least from an anecdotal experience) have found there to be a fairly strong correlation between really dressing/presenting one's self in a a rather 'out there' manner.
Look at basically all the most successful and driven men on this planet.
They still have the the intelligence, the drive and the charm/charisma that made them stand out from the pack, yet they dress quite conservatively and tend not to have any distinctive physical features/present themselves overall as all that 'different' looking.

I've noted that basically all the people I know that go to great lengths to have a distinctive look have some kind of underlying mental problem.
Perhaps BDD, as you brought up, but also just generally serious problems with self identity/self concept, major depression issues and often many times they were sexually abused at a young age.
I tend to think you really misconstrued what I was totally saying about the mental illness thing. I'm here, like everyone else, because I have a mental illness.

All I was saying was, there is quite definitely often a strong correlation between an extreme/out there external appearance and mental issues.
I've actually yet to meet someone that had an extreme external appearance that was also mentally stable.
Literally every one of those people I've met have had some mental issues.
It's quite rare to see someone that's completely comfortable with themselves that do well socially and financially really go out of their way to look different, because they are just that comfortable with themselves that they know their personality can do the talking on what they're about rather than having to use an external appearance to do a lot of the talking.

Also consider this situation ;
You have two people walk up to you, say hi and start talking (albeit not at the same time).
One is a very confident, masculine looking business man
One is a really out there, super androgynous looking guy like that dude posted above with all the makeup and stuff.

Chances are, you are probably more likely to take the business guy more seriously and this would go for for almost all people.
I've been on this planet long enough to be able to tell a good majority of the time rather accurately what someone was going to be like, their level of mental stability and a whole host of other features/traits based simply on their external appearance.
I'm not always 100% accurate as I said, but there is definitely some correlation there I believe.

I apologize if you feel offended by the way, and once again, major respect for actually taking the time to respond.


----------



## Hiccups (Jul 15, 2011)

The first thing I thought when reading your reply was.... _we see what we want to see_. If you want to see sanity in a well dressed business man then you will see that, if you want to see a freak in someone that dresses "uniquely" then that is what you'll see. Maybe you haven't found anyone that dresses outside of the norm that you consider sane because you haven't actually looked. I could rattle off a bunch of famous and not so famous people that are unique and come across as sane or whatever because I've exposed myself to that with an open mind. 
I could turn around and say "well when I see a guy in a business suit I see a forked tongued lying scum bag with dollar signs for eyeballs", but I don't think that way any more. I now know that we're all different regardless of what we wear or how we present ourselves... clothes/appearance is no reflection on our mental state, per se... right.
There is a time and place for loud clothes but we shouldn't perhaps be focussing so much on that.. I doubt that guy goes to his job as a lawyer wearing that outfit for example xP I've met drag queens that wear business suits during the day and frocks at night, go figure. I did try with my first post in here to subtly draw attention away from the physical aspect of androgyny as there is more to it than appearance/clothes just like there is with any form of attraction.


----------



## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

Just chiming in to say I agree to a point with Petrovsk. There comes a point where going out of your way to look different is just plain unnecessary and a waste of energy. I'm not talking about different levels of hormones; I'm talking about actively and painstakingly pursuing a very unconventional image. To me, it reeks of attention-*****-ism, but that's just my opinion. I'm not one to care about my image at all, and so I have plenty of sympathy (and, indeed, empathy) for those who are not blessed with conventional good looks and are lazy about trying to conform to them. (Perhaps this is where I may differ from Petrovsk: I admire, for example, those who rebel against suit-and-tie culture by wearing jeans and a t-shirt, because that requires _less_ effort and is _more_ natural.) But, again, putting a lot of time and effort into an eccentric image is something I find to be... well, a waste of time and effort... and therefore somewhat offputting.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

The nail that sticks out gets hammered down...


----------

