# Singapore Support Group?



## fifthseason

Shall we form one? Rather suffering individually every weekend, feeling sad, or dying of boredom doing everything alone, we could meet up. :boogie at least we understand one another, unlike seeking the understanding of normal people whom can't be bothered to care or understand us.


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## beatlesgirl

hello!


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## funkyy

hey!!!!!!! pls. ure just the person im looking for. im dying of loneliness. i cant stand living in solitude but thats how i feel im living like. sigh. hope we can be friends


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## ayu

just came across this forum today.. maybe we can get to know each other?


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## chewren

hi i'm from singapore too and i have been searching for a group like this since like forever and did not found any :boogie until now



tensedboy said:


> Just a reminder for all the newcomers, there's a chatroom available at
> http://sas.daojia888.com/
> Just sign up, and then join us for a chat every evening/night! We need active chatters there:yes


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## CheekyDude

Hi, I am from SG too! Should we somehow find a good time and have a nice conversation together?


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## beatlesgirl

didn't know there's singaporeans here! helloooo again :}


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## chewren

so, how are you guys/girls right now? :boogie


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## funkyy

im suicidal. cut my arms. what bout you? i dont see hope.


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## CheekyDude

Funkyy, i really do hope you are kidding.


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## Tessabelle

I feel like crying. I cannot believe that there are actually people who are just _like_ me! People, we _must_ meet up! I'm dying of boredom and loneliness ):


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## CheekyDude

Isnt it a little too dangerous to meet up with people you hardly know? I think we should at least chat a little on MSN or something.


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## Tessabelle

CheekyDude said:


> Isnt it a little too dangerous to meet up with people you hardly know? I think we should at least chat a little on MSN or something.


errr.. kay. btw are the other people still alive?


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## CheekyDude

Tessabelle said:


> errr.. kay. btw are the other people still alive?


No idea, i guess they rarely visit this forum? I've been coming to this forum everyday recently though.


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## Tessabelle

CheekyDude said:


> No idea, i guess they rarely visit this forum? I've been coming to this forum everyday recently though.


awwh. me too! though i just started yesterday..


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## chewren

CheekyDude said:


> Isnt it a little too dangerous to meet up with people you hardly know? I think we should at least chat a little on MSN or something.


i had been to some of the other forum outing
like going to a movie and stuff.However i still can't open myself up during the 
outing as i am too anxious.



tensedboy said:


> Just a reminder for all the newcomers, there's a chatroom available at
> http://sas.daojia888.com/
> Just sign up, and then join us for a chat every evening/night! We need active chatters there:yes


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## Tessabelle

chewren said:


> i don't think it is dangerous as i had been to some of the other forum outing
> like going to a movie and stuff.However i still can't open myself up during the
> outing as i am too anxious.


sgclub?


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## chewren

Tessabelle said:


> sgclub?


lol yes
how do you know? u join b4?


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## ayu

chewren said:


> i don't think it is dangerous as i had been to some of the other forum outing
> like going to a movie and stuff.However i still can't open myself up during the
> outing as i am too anxious.


how old are you?


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## chewren

let me introduce myself,i'm currently 18, had SAD since around when i was 9. i was always the 'quiet' one in class .i don't have much friends,always get bullies since young.There's nobody for me to talk to when i have problems,so i would often bottled up the feelings, sometimes causes anger and i get into fights with the bullies.In school, i would often get anxiety attacks and racing heart beat.i always fear people's judgements and always avoid people.i always knew that there was something wrong with me.
As years goes by,my SAD became worst and worst and eventually causes me to stop going to school.

How about we talk about me in the present? i seen a psychologist last year and life have been better for me, even thought i still have some anxiety attacks.i am studying in a private school currently.sometimes i would go out to sgclub forum outing to try to be comfortable with people and learn some social skills and i have made some friends ,it even help me to gain some interest like cycling and volunteering in a dog shelter. i also go for outing organised by people here.


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## ethelonia

this only for Singaporeans?


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## CheekyDude

ethelonia said:


> this only for Singaporeans?


If you are in Singapore, then its probably fine?

If anyone wants to meet up/chat. Drop me a message alright?


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## ayu

chewren said:


> 18 this year and i have SA for many years already and slowly overcoming it bit by bit. i had enough of escaping and now i try to face it no matter how hard it is.it is like a roller-coaster ride which is feared by many, but people can still enjoy the ride when it is scary.


same here. I am forcing myself into situation where i would normally avoid.. And now I am in a job which require me to interact with people, I chose this career hoping that it will make me a better person. Btw I am 21 this yr..


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## DoubleEdged

Can't believe I managed to find Sporeans here...

Probably going to be the youngest here, so it won't be wise to reveal my age.


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## beatlesgirl

Lol, I should be the youngest here. Are you still studying?


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## otakux

hi everyone drop me a message, and im certainly up for a gathering.


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## otakux

forgot to say im fr sg too.


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## Tessabelle

heya everyone!!!!


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## ayu

hihi tessabelle


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## Lelsey

hi everyone...


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## DoubleEdged

beatlesgirl said:


> Lol, I should be the youngest here. Are you still studying?


Yup. Wooh, battle of the youngest! (I still think I win)


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## mrstar

From SG too. hais


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## clx

*cmon guys lets do this*

hey why dunt we just meet up asap. im in ns now but i book out daily and wants desperately to have ppl to share with abt my anxiety probs, loneliness really sucks!:|


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## beatlesgirl

DoubleEdged said:


> Yup. Wooh, battle of the youngest! (I still think I win)


Haha, how old are you?? I'm in secondary school.


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## clx

im 20 this yr just enlisted into ns


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## otakux

guys, http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=101578106566414


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## SolitudeGabriel

hello everyone !!


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## beatlesgirl

otakux said:


> guys, http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=101578106566414


I've join the group once but left it :/


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## otakux

rejoin !!


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## mrstar

Ok whr do u wan to meet? I have a lot of mixture feelings too. 

Joined the group before but no updates...


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## SolitudeGabriel

anyone here interested on weight lifting ?


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## otakux

i once do weightlifting to gain body weight. u go gym ?


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## SolitudeGabriel

it seen dead...


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## DoubleEdged

beatlesgirl said:


> Haha, how old are you?? I'm in secondary school.


Yup, me too! /hifive

HEY TO ALL YOU GUYS OUT THERE - DID YOU SEE 'THE SECRET GARDEN' (channel U psychological drama intended to raise awareness about mental probs in sg) EPISODE ABOUT SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER.

SO. MANY. ERRORS.

1) It's social anxiety disorder, not social phobia, generally agreed on by experts.

2) The brain doesn't RANDOMLY trigger the fight-flight response. It's just oversensitive, but it's not random.

3) The actor CLEARLY doesn't have social anxiety disorder - all her reactions are just so unnatural!

/ranting on here.

Okay, so maybe it raised awareness about it... but wrong facts, dudes! Do your research! If a teen can find out more sitting in front of a computer screen....


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## reliefseeker

WOW..I'm so surprised to found out such a group in singapore haha! Hello all! 

Just to intro myself, 
I'm 20 this year, poly student, and like many people here, i'm also dealing severe social anxiety issues.
People usually describe me as a strict, quiet and anti-social guy because I would rather stay at home alone all the time than going out to socialize, at least that's what I think haha. 

nice to meet yall.


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## reliefseeker

anyone active here?


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## otakux

i can say most of us read the post


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## beatlesgirl

I don't post but I do check this forum almost everyday. Nice to see this group getting active!


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## reliefseeker

:yes


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## comcom

hmm wow, just found this forum and thread while surfing around.. :clap
and got so compelled to sign up just to post this haha

think everyone here certainly share the same prob lol, glad to find some zi ji :teeth
but i wonder if the outing will ever take place haha since we are all SA ppl:um
btw still happy to know i m not alone! may we all get better!!!!


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## reliefseeker

comcom said:


> hmm wow, just found this forum and thread while surfing around.. :clap
> and got so compelled to sign up just to post this haha
> 
> think everyone here certainly share the same prob lol, glad to find some zi ji :teeth
> but i wonder if the outing will ever take place haha since we are all SA ppl:um
> btw still happy to know i m not alone! may we all get better!!!!


:wel


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## DoubleEdged

Just a question.... Have you guys sought help? Like a psychiatrist/psychologist/therapist/counsellor? If so, any recommendations/experiences with the meds?

Thanks!


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## coward84

Hi guess i am the oldest here, have lost a lot of opportunities in life. Recently found out that i have this syndrome and currently seeking treatment in IMH. Dun give up in life, i believe there is hope in the future


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## otakux

how old are u coward ? if u r born on 84 u r only a few years old older than me .


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## otakux

comcom said:


> hmm wow, just found this forum and thread while surfing around.. :clap
> and got so compelled to sign up just to post this haha
> 
> think everyone here certainly share the same prob lol, glad to find some zi ji :teeth
> but i wonder if the outing will ever take place haha since we are all SA ppl:um
> btw still happy to know i m not alone! may we all get better!!!!


think none of us tried to organize an outing yet, u want to be the one


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## otakux

DoubleEdged said:


> Just a question.... Have you guys sought help? Like a psychiatrist/psychologist/therapist/counsellor? If so, any recommendations/experiences with the meds?
> 
> Thanks!


i didn't seek any medical attention. i read there are a lot of side effects with drugs.


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## reliefseeker

DoubleEdged said:


> Just a question.... Have you guys sought help? Like a psychiatrist/psychologist/therapist/counsellor? If so, any recommendations/experiences with the meds?
> 
> Thanks!


I sought help with a psychiatrist in Tan Tock Seng hospital before and i was given a few medicine to cope with anxiety and paranoia thoughts. 
So far the anxiety med (aka fluvox) seems to have a lot of side effects for me, so i stopped taking it afterwards.

The appointment to see a psychiatrist doesn't cost cheap though, its $25 or maybe more. 
Altogether(with medicine) cost me nearly $40.


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## comcom

otakux said:


> think none of us tried to organize an outing yet, u want to be the one


haha if i hv the organisational skill and the attitude to org and outing, i wont be here.
whenever i go out, the outing is always initiate by my close friends. sometimes i even come up with a fake reason not to go. Think I have avoidant issues hmmm:afr



tensedboy said:


> I sought help with a psychiatrist in Tan Tock Seng hospital before and i was given a few medicine to cope with anxiety and paranoia thoughts.
> So far the anxiety med (aka fluvox) seems to have a lot of side effects for me, so i stopped taking it afterwards.
> 
> The appointment to see a psychiatrist doesn't cost cheap though, its $25 or maybe more.
> Altogether(with medicine) cost me nearly $40.


tensedboy, what side effects are there? btw, wanted to ask all, how do you all even muster the courage to go to psychiatrist, or worst go through polyclinic than go psychiatrist so that it will be cheaper?

I wanted to go last time, but I have trouble even stepping the first step, feel like I have a problem and people will look at me weirdly if I say want to go psychiatrist. Dont even know if i can open up to the psychiatrist...

btw I am using audio selfhypnosis, i think it did help me a bit, I feel abit more confident at times. If anyone want, I can send it. I paid 20USd for 2... :X but i guess its worth it if we get the help! 
cheers!:b


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## reliefseeker

comcom, I wrote it all here http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...ts-of-fluvoxamine-and-trifluoperazine-118108/.

Nausea, weakness are just some of the side effects I experienced after taking fluvox..
It depends on different people though. Some might work, and some might not. 
Maybe I'm having some bad luck with the medicines. :sus


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## comcom

ouch.. sounds bad the nausea and motivation....
hv you stop taking them? I hven tried any meds yet, but i also feel tired most of the time 
haha if we do hv an outing, maybe should try all the treatment and therapy session. although i doubt i can cross my own hurdle and meet with others online, esp after revealing my prob here.
I suffer from paranoia too


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## DoubleEdged

comcom said:


> tensedboy, what side effects are there? btw, wanted to ask all, how do you all even muster the courage to go to psychiatrist, or worst go through polyclinic than go psychiatrist so that it will be cheaper?
> 
> I wanted to go last time, but I have trouble even stepping the first step, feel like I have a problem and people will look at me weirdly if I say want to go psychiatrist. Dont even know if i can open up to the psychiatrist...
> 
> btw I am using audio selfhypnosis, i think it did help me a bit, I feel abit more confident at times. If anyone want, I can send it. I paid 20USd for 2... :X but i guess its worth it if we get the help!
> cheers!:b


I'm covered by medical insurance (thank God!) so I researched the internet and found a psychiatrist whom I thought was pretty good - Dr Adrian Wang. www.wangpsych.com, if any of you want to know. I'm underage, so I had to tell my parents, and it was EXTREMELY awkward, for the record.

I think my dad has issues with me having issues, but they're still trying to be supportive.

I've been prescribed Lexapro (an SNRI) and Xanax on a as when needed basis, Lexapro seems to be working so far, I feel happier, oddly enough. Stomach cramps for about two days, but it went away. Xanax.... haven't tried it yet.

Oh, and Dr. Wang introduced me to Dr. Zena Kang, a psychologist. Going to see her next Monday.... I'm scared just thinking about it.

Of course, these options are only if you're 1) fully covered by medical insurance or 2) extremely rich, because the bills go into 3 figures...

I feel extremely lucky.


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## reliefseeker

comcom said:


> ouch.. sounds bad the nausea and motivation....
> hv you stop taking them? I hven tried any meds yet, but i also feel tired most of the time
> haha if we do hv an outing, maybe should try all the treatment and therapy session. although i doubt i can cross my own hurdle and meet with others online, esp after revealing my prob here.
> I suffer from paranoia too


i only tried the fluvox once, afterwards i stopped taking already, cause the side effects are contributing to my anxiety.

and yeah hopefully we do have an outing sometime haha, maybe we can also watch movies, take a stroll around the park and have some food.. 
hehe, sounds like i'm waiting for someone to organize one, although it sounds easier said than done lol -.-""


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## apache10123

Hi nice to know there is a singapore SA forum, great to know u guys! I am plagued with SA for more than 6 yrs and it tuen my life into complete agony. Think we can organise a online chat and eventually face to face meeting where we canbn share with like minded friends


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## xkenshinx

Maybe we can decide on a time to chat using the chatroom here and then plan from there what more we can do.


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## coward84

For my case i'm prescriped with Propranolol, its a medicine that helps you relax and according to doctor i'm only supposed to take it whenever i feel anxious. However medication is only a short term measure it is only for occasion when i need to do presentation (i will tremble, mumble, blush and forget what i am suppose to say.Worst case scenario) Currently undergoing psychotherapy where i have weekly appointment with doctor at IMH. 
For treatment cost i dun find it expensive as i am a subsidised patient (as long as you are Singaporean) each visit cost $16 after subsidies (Medication not in included however not expensive either, my case $6) 

Right now i can't say whether the therapy is effective as i had just started on it.
But i feel that i should give it a try since scientific research shows that it is treatable.


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## beatlesgirl

Hehehehe pictures of the Supermoon today


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## DoubleEdged

beatlesgirl said:


> Hehehehe pictures of the Supermoon today


There's a supermoon today? O.O


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## reliefseeker

wow cool pics :clap 
seems like the moon is much shiny than usual, would've been better if it is larger.


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## otakux

xkenshinx said:


> Maybe we can decide on a time to chat using the chatroom here and then plan from there what more we can do.


May i suggest 21 or 22 March , 9pm ??
join one of the empty chatroom here.
we can do something like a getting to know each session.


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## xkenshinx

I think nobody is interested other than us. I think we can forget it...


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## reliefseeker

chatting session? i'm all for it :yes

i'm free anytime though, so please do let me know if you guys are chatting.


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## otakux

xkenshinx said:


> I think nobody is interested other than us. I think we can forget it...


who knows, lets just be online and see if anyone joins, to me ill be at home anyway :roll


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## DoubleEdged

otakux said:


> May i suggest 21 or 22 March , 9pm ??
> join one of the empty chatroom here.
> we can do something like a getting to know each session.


Yeah why not.... Monday's my first session with my psychologist, let's see how it goes...


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## otakux

DoubleEdged said:


> Yeah why not.... Monday's my first session with my psychologist, let's see how it goes...


good luck !!


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## DoubleEdged

Thanks! Crazy with anxiety now.... I need a Xanax just to see the psychologist, I think. ARGH.


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## chewren

So.. Will there be a chat session today? If yes, when will it be


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## DoubleEdged

To anyone online now: Meet at chatroom 3? I'll just stay there for a while if anyone wants to come talk...


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## otakux

did not see anybody in chatroom 3 =.=


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## DoubleEdged

Oh, I guess you were a bit late... we were talking from about 9.45 onwards... I left after about half an hour, not sure what happened then.


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## comcom

ooo who were there?
was busy ytd, couldnt join


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## otakux

i will stay in chatroom 3 but i might be afk.


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## reliefseeker

comcom said:


> ooo who were there?


me, DoubleEdged and chewren


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## reliefseeker

otakux said:


> i will stay in chatroom 3 but i might be afk.


same too


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## cwq

Hello everyone! I am so excited and glad to find this place. Really looking forward to know you guys.


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## reliefseeker

Hello cwq :wel
Feel free to post around here:yes 
we previously had chatting sessions during 21, 22nd of march, not sure when is the next one though.


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## otakux

maybe this coming saturday, around 9pm or 10pm, i will be around , wait for u guys in the chatroom.


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## cwq

Anyone wanna add me to msn @ [email protected]


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## cwq

Lets organise a gathering. Please share your idea of fun things we can do together.


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## reliefseeker

Movies, cycling, strolling, reading, gaming :yes

PS: I'm at room 3 now. There's no one there yet, you guys can come in.


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## otakux

movies !!


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## beatlesgirl

annoying rant. deleted/


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## otakux

im not going to say things like fat is not a problem or there are ppl fatter than u etc.

have u tried to slim down ? its something that can be changed , unlike height, face etc.


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## CheekyDude

Wow, im surprised how active this group is now. 

and @beatlesgirl, otakux is right. If you put in the effort, you can surely do something about it!


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## comcom

yup. i think weight is a perception thing. haha are u sure u are overweight like according to the std measure 10 or 20 % overweight measure? i hv gal frens who keep on saying they are fat when they gain 1 or 2 kg.. -.-
maybe the outing can be jogging! 
btw otakux, u nv post ur website?


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## beatlesgirl

deleted


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## otakux

comcom said:


> yup. i think weight is a perception thing. haha are u sure u are overweight like according to the std measure 10 or 20 % overweight measure? i hv gal frens who keep on saying they are fat when they gain 1 or 2 kg.. -.-
> maybe the outing can be jogging!
> btw otakux, u nv post ur website?


not finished yet. :b
anyone who wish to use the chatroom can use the chatroom function there
http://sganxiety.co.cc


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## cwq

I am trying to find a sport to participte regularly as part of my keep fit stay healthy programme.. Anyone wanna be my training buddies?


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## cwq

Anyone interested in dragonboat or weightlifting?


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## yuanhuang

hi everyone. guess i am the oldest here lol


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## reliefseeker

hello there ^^ :wel
wow your first post is after 4 years lol.


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## yuanhuang

yes !! lol i dont even remember i had registered in this site!!


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## cwq

Welcome yuanhuang!
How young are you?


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## cwq

Anyone wanna watch gnomeo & Juliet next week?


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## reliefseeker

cwq said:


> Anyone wanna watch gnomeo & Juliet next week?


 hmm.. i think i might be free next week, depending on what time.


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## otakux

cwq said:


> Anyone wanna watch gnomeo & Juliet next week?


i can join if its weekday night


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## otakux

beatlesgirl said:


> annoying rant. deleted/


none of us know u in real person and even if we do, ur rant is entirely normal.
pls feel free to rant here. its the reason this forum exists


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## SolitudeGabriel

cwq said:


> Anyone interested in dragonboat or weightlifting?


weightlifting yes..

Where do you live?


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## SolitudeGabriel

otakux said:


> im not going to say things like fat is not a problem or there are ppl fatter than u etc.
> 
> have u tried to slim down ? its something that can be changed , unlike height, face etc.


depend.. some born out to be fat due to family genetic. Another is normal but they ate too much and ended up became fat.. As for hard gainer it very hard to gain weight..


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## reliefseeker

anyone up for a chat? i'm in the sg anxiety chatroom now.


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## cwq

For many years i have lived in self isolation due to my SA and Depression, i do not know how to describe those days other than being a living nightmare, as SA & Depression dictate & dominate my life. Alone and lost in my predicament, with noone to seek guidance and comfort, i turned to computer games to occupied my mind and to numb the sadness, loneliness and despair in me. Days turn into weeks into months and into years, and thats how my youth was wasted. Suicide was constantly on my mind as i have given up hope, seeing no way out due to my own limitation. What stopped me from ending my life? I suppose the credit goes to my very intimate partner, fear.. Fear of dying, fear of pain, fear of the unknown and the natural instinct to stay alive. So much wasted time, oportunities, undeveloped potentials and what might have been..
Maybe all storms does end or at least subsides, and when u reached rock bottom, the only way left is up. The rest of the years i have many attempts at jobs which pretty much end up in resignation after a while. I was never sacked, but my anxiety was so severe that its unbearable to continue on the job. People find me weird and was apprehensive of me, with some being nasty even, and that kindda adds on to my anxiety. So there were periods that i worked and periods that i slipped back to isolation and that lasted for some more years.
Now i am employed and have been for the last 8mths and i am quite comfortable in my current employment. I felt my situation improving and am gaining more confidence and my outlook in life isnt as bleak as before although i still have anxiety and sometimes its better sometimes its worse but generally felt better than what it used to be and i want to take the next step and start actively socialising, get comfortable with it, improve my condition and hopefully reintergrate fully into the normal stream of society. I am hopeful that i can achieve something from this opportunity, that you too can benefit from this and mutually improve together.
Now my message to you guys.. Some of you are still pretty young with people in their teens and young adults, i have wasted a decade to tell you this, its not too late and you can do it, do not give up hope but please do positive things to improve yourself, to get better, to adapt and be comfortable with what you are not comfortable with. For some of you, maybe just adolescent anxiety or teen shyness and will pass, i dnt know. But dnt allow it to develop into a disorder like i have. I dont have the answers but i hope we can find a solution together. Peace out.

P.S. If you really think you have got an issue, you would know yourself better than me, do not let shame and fear stop you from seeking professional help, otherwise, they(fear and shame) would have done their job and won.


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## cwq

SolitudeGabriel said:


> depend.. some born out to be fat due to family genetic. Another is normal but they ate too much and ended up became fat.. As for hard gainer it very hard to gain weight..


true that.. Although one can do something about that. Takes a bit more effort than others maybe but isnt that what your trying to do as well, to change your physique thru hard work. You might not be as lean as the leaness or as bulky as the hulk but you can come close. Yea i belong to the fat types, easily put on weight if i dnt watch myself, but now i take responsibility for my well being, whether i was given a bad deal or otherwise. Peac.


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## cwq

SolitudeGabriel said:


> weightlifting yes..
> 
> Where do you live?


where i live is currently irrelevant as i do not go home much but i am not oppose to travelling, where do you workout?


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## cwq

otakux said:


> i can join if its weekday night


argh, i am usually unavailable at night and is only available in the daytime :sigh


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## SolitudeGabriel

cwq said:


> where i live is currently irrelevant as i do not go home much but i am not oppose to travelling, where do you workout?


hi cwq added you in msn.. Usually i workout at home sometime bedok gym..


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## cwq

SolitudeGabriel said:


> hi cwq added you in msn.. Usually i workout at home sometime bedok gym..


Sure, we can go to bedok gym if you like, even tryout new places together. Now is the issue of timing. I will talk to you on msn tml but its late now and i need rest for tml's work.


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## cwq

beatlesgirl said:


> annoying rant. deleted/


You dont have to be perfect, to err is to be human. Show us the human side of you:cuddle
I hope nobody feels stressed out about posting their thoughts here, if your thoughts are wrong then let them out and be corrected so you can improve. We should try not to judge others and ourselves too much. This is for myself as much as anyone else.


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## otakux

cwq said:


> true that.. Although one can do something about that. Takes a bit more effort than others maybe but isnt that what your trying to do as well, to change your physique thru hard work. You might not be as lean as the leaness or as bulky as the hulk but you can come close. Yea i belong to the fat types, easily put on weight if i dnt watch myself, but now i take responsibility for my well being, whether i was given a bad deal or otherwise. Peac.


if it does help , i can share my exp, i belong to the lean type , i spent two years for going to gym 2-3 times every week and drink weight gain powder to gain 10kg.


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## yuanhuang

guess i am the oldest here. I am in the mid 30s.


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## reliefseeker

cwq said:


> I am trying to find a sport to participte regularly as part of my keep fit stay healthy programme.. Anyone wanna be my training buddies?


Me. I haven't been doing sports for many many years, but i'm still interested to try out activities such as gym-ing, cycling, swimming, jogging.


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## SolitudeGabriel

cwq said:


> The rest of the years i have many attempts at jobs which pretty much end up in resignation after a while. I was never sacked, but my anxiety was so severe that its unbearable to continue on the job. People find me weird and was apprehensive of me, with some being nasty even, and that kindda adds on to my anxiety. So there were periods that i worked and periods that i slipped back to isolation and that lasted for some more years.


i have this same problem too.... =/


----------



## SolitudeGabriel

tensedboy said:


> Me. I haven't been doing sports for many many years, but i'm still interested to try out activities such as gym-ing, cycling, swimming, jogging.


how about yishun gym?


----------



## reliefseeker

SolitudeGabriel said:


> how about yishun gym?


Yea. but i need to prepare my gym attire first, right now I can only wear home clothes there. =/


----------



## cwq

Can we do the gym cum movie next Saturday 12pm - 6pm? Then you will have all week to buy your sport attire. I also need to get them, sigh, nvr good at shopping for clothes :/ Anyone else interested?


----------



## reliefseeker

cwq said:


> Can we do the gym cum movie next Saturday 12pm - 6pm? Then you will have all week to buy your sport attire. I also need to get them, sigh, nvr good at shopping for clothes :/ Anyone else interested?


For sports attire, i think i can get it within these few days. 
I'm free anytime nx week though.


----------



## comcom

wah... gym also must buy gym wear... sg really high maintenance lol
haha hope u all hv fun gym-ing and movie! ;D


----------



## otakux

cwq said:


> Can we do the gym cum movie next Saturday 12pm - 6pm? Then you will have all week to buy your sport attire. I also need to get them, sigh, nvr good at shopping for clothes :/ Anyone else interested?


sorry i can't make it during weekends.


----------



## beatlesgirl

Hey guys, why don't you write your age and which part of sg you stay in and what you're currently busy with now? So that we can get to know each other better lol.

I'll start:

I'm 15 this year staying in the west side of singapore and currently schooling (secondary 3)... 

This is gonna be very awkward if no one replies.. Hahaha


----------



## reliefseeker

Uhhh..As for me, I'm 20 this year, staying in Yishun, currently schooling at nanyang polytechnic. 

I have been having bad SA issues like feeling very anxious when communicating with people(except for family), walking outside especially in crowds, waiting for MRT...etc...

I also been dealing with socializing issues(like unable to talk or express myself to other people),
besides that, I experience severe stress and sleeping problems which badly affected my GPA results. 

Furthermore I'm unable to control my emotions especially feelings of anger, paranoia, excitement, anxiety, and even at times I might easily resort to violence to solve conflicts. 

All these problems started during the age of 14, and hopefully I can look for someone who's in similar position as me to solve these problems together.


----------



## mrstar

20 this year in NS 
diagnosed with agoraphobia and S.A
Have a Schizophrenia brother
Very Tired:|


----------



## comcom

22, studying, slow in understanding short forms, slow in understanding social situations, slow in interacting with ppl, and very very tired......
slp at 3, wake up at 7  with nothing to do......


----------



## cwq

I am 24 + 10 = 20 years old
I stay near lavender, have a stable job which i am thankful for. My life is pretty dull and i hvnt much activity in the past but i am trying to make some friends and engage in more activities for a more vibrant life. I am interested in sports and fitness at the moment, self defense skills and open minded to learning new stuffs, so if you know of anything interesting or looking for a activity buddy feel free to let me know.


----------



## cwq

*Self discovery*

Are you dwelling too much in past experiences, with past mistakes, embarassing moments, shameful events, hurtful events etc like a broken MP4 player playing over and over and over and over and over again in your mind and prevent you from moving foward and enjoying the things in life as you should? Share your thoughts and how can we overcome this.


----------



## otakux

25 this year , staying at boon keng, working at tanjong pagar.


----------



## coward84

i'm 26 going 27 this december, live in Balestier Road


----------



## cwq

Otaku we live very close to each other lols, do you make use of the kallang CC gym?
Coward oso quite nearby, maybe we can meet up for kopi sometime.


----------



## mrstar

Din know that so many ppl had social anxiety disorder..
I think my case is v severe than any of u...
I wan to meet up....when u meet me u know why..


----------



## comcom

hey mr star, how u make ur status positive?


----------



## mrstar

click my account on the top right of ur screen then after that look to your left <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<


i wan to add ppl with S.A.D

i m despo...........
LOL!


----------



## cwq

We are watching movie next saturday, anyone feel feel to join. Time is 12pm. Venue not fix yet. Add me to msn [email protected] and let me know.


----------



## cwq

Tml i going shopping, anyone wanna join me?


----------



## comcom

mrstar said:


> click my account on the top right of ur screen then after that look to your left <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
> 
> i wan to add ppl with S.A.D
> 
> i m despo...........
> LOL!


lol i lost haha.. XD mine slowness is affecting my understanding:no


----------



## mrstar

my msn: [email protected]


----------



## mrstar

i stay hougang.....


----------



## mrstar

triple postings. Oooops..


----------



## cwq

Happy april fools day in advance wheeeeeeeeeeeee!


----------



## Namida

Hi. I'm rewriting my post because I felt that my previous post(now deleted) was..um..a bit too friendly, which I think puts people off in real life. People have advised me before that I can be sometimes too honest that I tell people whatever was on my mind without giving a second thought, which is an act that should be avoided.

Okay let me re-introduce myself. I'm currently 17 studying at PJC and at CCK area. 
My counsellor told me that I was too quick to label myself as having SAD.
Actually, for me, I dont know what I want to say. I always seem to have this vague thinking, like I'm not too focused. I'm not sure if you all could understand what I'm talking about. I'm never good at explaining myself.


----------



## yuanhuang

hi everyone ! nice to meet u all!! do u guys have facebook?


----------



## yuanhuang

Happy April fools day !!


----------



## yuanhuang

comcom said:


> 22, studying, slow in understanding short forms, slow in understanding social situations, slow in interacting with ppl, and very very tired......
> slp at 3, wake up at 7  with nothing to do......


I am very slow in interacting with ppl too  cant catch up in what they r talking abt..


----------



## yuanhuang

Namida said:


> Hi. I'm rewriting my post because I felt that my previous post(now deleted) was..um..a bit too friendly, which I think puts people off in real life. People have advised me before that I can be sometimes too honest that I tell people whatever was on my mind without giving a second thought, which is an act that should be avoided.
> 
> Okay let me re-introduce myself. I'm currently 17 studying at PJC and at CCK area.
> My counsellor told me that I was too quick to label myself as having SAD.
> Actually, for me, I dont know what I want to say. I always seem to have this vague thinking, like I'm not too focused. I'm not sure if you all could understand what I'm talking about. I'm never good at explaining myself.


I like honest and straightforward people  as i hate mind games and lying.


----------



## cwq

Hi Namida & Yuan huang welcome.
Sometimes i think too much about what to say and worry about whether to say them. In the end i became too quiet and people find me insincere.
My msn & FB = [email protected]


----------



## coward84

i had problem understanding other people's conversation, when i'm asked a question i always have to think a while before i could answer back. Over time i'm begining to doubt on my intelligence


----------



## cwq

Movie next week either friday or saturday 12-5pm, who interested?


----------



## reliefseeker

cwq said:


> Movie next week either friday or saturday 12-5pm, who interested?


Sarpork!! :banana:banana


----------



## yuanhuang

next fri maybe i can


----------



## Namida

Hello yuanhuang, cwg and coward84.

@yuanhuang Thank you for the compliment! IKR! I utterly detest it when people played dumb or feigned ignorance. It's like, for example, I was being serious and asked my friend about Maths homework. And then she would give this stupid response," Math? What's Math?". Then it'd be so awkward and I'll be like giving her a deadpan look with this expression -_-And she'll think she 'won' cos I said nothing. Srsly these ppl are dead set on getting under our skin it's so annoying! Not really bothered by it but just saying cos it bugs me a little.

@cwg Me too! Glad to know there are other people who felt the same way! It's such a joy to know ppl who have similar experiences. Sometimes I want to try to socialize but sometimes I just sound bored and disinterested but I do want to talk! It puts off ppl..ok I shall add you to fb! Good to know you! 

@coward84 Don't worry. I have similar experiences too. For me, I dont really have much of a stand about something. Even if I do, it's not supported by enough evidence or confidence. It's okay. Let's share our experiences and hopefully through that way, we attain a more social life together. 

Nice to meet y'all!

Edit: Btw, cwg, I sent you a fb request!


----------



## ayu

cwq said:


> Movie next week either friday or saturday 12-5pm, who interested?


I might be able to join u guys..


----------



## yuanhuang

hey everyone  my fb is [email protected].


----------



## chewren

i'm coming for the movie  btw what will we be watching?
maybe the venue could be in central area so it is fair to everyone.

anyone can add me in fb: [email protected]


----------



## cwq

Friday 12pm @ The Cathay. You guys wanna watch SUCKER PUNCH or MORNING GLORY? So far we have goy tensedboy, ayu, yuanhuang and chewren. Who else want to go?


----------



## otakux

have created a page for you guys in sganxiety.co.cc http://sganxiety.baguslah.net/pg/pages/view/44/movie-gathering-organized-by-cwq


----------



## cwq

otakux said:


> have created a page for you guys in sganxiety.co.cc http://sganxiety.baguslah.net/pg/pages/view/44/movie-gathering-organized-by-cwq


Thx for the effort, looks delicious.


----------



## Lyt

Omg...glad I found this thread!
Count me in!


----------



## otakux

guys join us at the chatroom in http://sganxiety.co.cc, most of us will be there at night.


----------



## cwq

Lyt said:


> Omg...glad I found this thread!
> Count me in!


Welcome Lyt :wel
Glad you found us too :boogie
Lets join hands and fight anxiety :group


----------



## cwq

otakux said:


> have created a page for you guys in sganxiety.co.cc http://sganxiety.baguslah.net/pg/pages/view/44/movie-gathering-organized-by-cwq


btw the front page heading-Support was spelled wrongly:b


----------



## otakux

cwq said:


> btw the front page heading-Support was spelled wrongly:b


opps, didn't notice , thanks !


----------



## Hitori

Nice to see there's a SG support group. How this will take off, well, depends on luck I guess.


----------



## otakux

guess it depends on whether u support it


----------



## cwq

Understanding The Discomfort of Social Anxiety :int

Your current thought patterns are likely what keep you trapped in the prison of social anxiety. To unlock yourself from this prison, you will likely need to have to rewire your brain with new thoughts that take time to cement in the brain, but if you try this as a start, it will lead you up the correct path.

1. The change cannot happen overnight: People often try out strategies and when they do not work, they give up. Remember that rewiring the brain can take months, but trying to change your thoughts over months could save you years of unnecessary anxiety. So remember, that when you try out any thought change, the brain will initially resist this. The one way to overcome brain resistance is with dedicated and repeated practice.

2. You are not the only person with personal secrets: Every person in a room in which you are standing has at least one secret, and it usually has to do with something that they would not be able to tell anyone. We often make assumptions that we are the only people with secrets, when in fact, it is impossible to meet all social standards for how a life is supposed to be. Take in this reality, because you will realize that you are not the only one in the room with a secret.

3. You are more similar than different from other people: We often focus on how different we are because our brains are geared to seek out these differences, but the truth is, if you really pay attention, you will see that externally and internally, we are all much more similar than we seem. Apart from body parts that we all share, we also share vulnerabilities, moments of anxiety and depression, and failures and successes. Remember that the next time you go into a social environment.

4. Insecurity and security are two sides of the same coin: Those people who claim to be "secure" have not abolished their insecurity. They have simply learned to redirect their attention to their strengths rather than their weaknesses. Brain circuits of opposite emotions are on most of the time. Where you place your attention is what you will feel. It is similar to courage and fear. Ambrose Redmoon once said that courage is not the absence of fear but the judgment that something else is more important than it.

5. You have more to say than you think: People often feel socially anxious because they are afraid that they would have nothing to say. But this happens because they are constantly thinking of what they "should" say rather than what they want to say. Collect some ice-breakers that you can use when at a cocktail party to start with, and soon, you will grant yourself the permission to speak spontaneously. In fact, many other people at these parties feel the same kind of nervousness. Some suggestions of ice-breakers: "Hi! How are you? I have no approach question. Just thought it would be better to connect than stand alone and drink my wine" (Honesty often gets a giggle and can start a great conversation) "How are you? I love your....(shoes, pocketbook, dress, tie)" (compliments set the tone for a positive start).

6. You don't have to feel like you really like people: Anxiety biases attention. It makes us focus on the negative more. So often, if you are socially anxious, you may think that you hate people, but when you have that sensation, recognize that your thoughts are being formed by your anxiety. To feel more positive, do something positive before you go out. Get a massage if you can, and ten go out. Or play an invigorating sport, or work-out. This will place you in the right frame of mind to start interacting in the social event.

7. Social anxiety is really personal discomfort: Social anxiety is not really social at all. In fact, people just bring out a personal dissatisfaction. So ask yourself: how can I be more self-accepting? To be self-accepting requires that you see that perfection does not exist, and that your humanity is worth interacting with, and this includes your strengths and weaknesses. Shyness can sometimes be appealing. Being an "interior" person can be seductive. Outgoing people create comfort. Introverted people often invite intimacy.


----------



## SolitudeGabriel

there are still a few people didn't join the chatroom.


----------



## yuanhuang

cwq said:


> Understanding The Discomfort of Social Anxiety :int
> 
> Your current thought patterns are likely what keep you trapped in the prison of social anxiety. To unlock yourself from this prison, you will likely need to have to rewire your brain with new thoughts that take time to cement in the brain, but if you try this as a start, it will lead you up the correct path.
> 
> 1. The change cannot happen overnight: People often try out strategies and when they do not work, they give up. Remember that rewiring the brain can take months, but trying to change your thoughts over months could save you years of unnecessary anxiety. So remember, that when you try out any thought change, the brain will initially resist this. The one way to overcome brain resistance is with dedicated and repeated practice.
> 
> 2. You are not the only person with personal secrets: Every person in a room in which you are standing has at least one secret, and it usually has to do with something that they would not be able to tell anyone. We often make assumptions that we are the only people with secrets, when in fact, it is impossible to meet all social standards for how a life is supposed to be. Take in this reality, because you will realize that you are not the only one in the room with a secret.
> 
> 3. You are more similar than different from other people: We often focus on how different we are because our brains are geared to seek out these differences, but the truth is, if you really pay attention, you will see that externally and internally, we are all much more similar than we seem. Apart from body parts that we all share, we also share vulnerabilities, moments of anxiety and depression, and failures and successes. Remember that the next time you go into a social environment.
> 
> 4. Insecurity and security are two sides of the same coin: Those people who claim to be "secure" have not abolished their insecurity. They have simply learned to redirect their attention to their strengths rather than their weaknesses. Brain circuits of opposite emotions are on most of the time. Where you place your attention is what you will feel. It is similar to courage and fear. Ambrose Redmoon once said that courage is not the absence of fear but the judgment that something else is more important than it.
> 
> 5. You have more to say than you think: People often feel socially anxious because they are afraid that they would have nothing to say. But this happens because they are constantly thinking of what they "should" say rather than what they want to say. Collect some ice-breakers that you can use when at a cocktail party to start with, and soon, you will grant yourself the permission to speak spontaneously. In fact, many other people at these parties feel the same kind of nervousness. Some suggestions of ice-breakers: "Hi! How are you? I have no approach question. Just thought it would be better to connect than stand alone and drink my wine" (Honesty often gets a giggle and can start a great conversation) "How are you? I love your....(shoes, pocketbook, dress, tie)" (compliments set the tone for a positive start).
> 
> 6. You don't have to feel like you really like people: Anxiety biases attention. It makes us focus on the negative more. So often, if you are socially anxious, you may think that you hate people, but when you have that sensation, recognize that your thoughts are being formed by your anxiety. To feel more positive, do something positive before you go out. Get a massage if you can, and ten go out. Or play an invigorating sport, or work-out. This will place you in the right frame of mind to start interacting in the social event.
> 
> 7. Social anxiety is really personal discomfort: Social anxiety is not really social at all. In fact, people just bring out a personal dissatisfaction. So ask yourself: how can I be more self-accepting? To be self-accepting requires that you see that perfection does not exist, and that your humanity is worth interacting with, and this includes your strengths and weaknesses. Shyness can sometimes be appealing. Being an "interior" person can be seductive. Outgoing people create comfort. Introverted people often invite intimacy.


:clap


----------



## cwq

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, chimpanzees and bullfrogs whichever you are please do continue to share your experiences, insights, thoughts, interesting information or even find some way to entertain us. Much appreciated.
Anyway.. go silly with this 



GOD SAVE THE FROG! Juz glad i am not a frog right now :/


----------



## ayu

so this friday confirm gt movie outing? whos going?


----------



## cwq

Meetup @ The Cathay near dhoby ghaut mrt, 12 pm. Casual wear. Who wants to attend? Can please confirm with me through msn? [email protected]


----------



## ayu

just a suggestion. maybe we can watch at a later slot like 3-4pm?? den can makan dinner or smthing..


----------



## chewren

guys, i'm going to the Universal studio outing hosted on SGClub on 1st of may
btw if anybody wanted to join us , just create an sgclub account and pm *winnie e pooh*. by the way, the price of the ticket is about $72
... kinda pricy but i think i gotta be a fun outing :boogie

http://forums.sgclub.com/singapore/universal_studio_march_333027_3.html


----------



## Aris

Hi ppl Im new. 23 female and I'm studying. Add me in! Am I oldest? .


----------



## ayu

Aris said:


> Hi ppl Im new. 23 female and I'm studying. Add me in! Am I oldest? .


hello, u r not the oldest one haha... there are some in their mid 30s.. anyway i am 21 year old.. nice to meet you.


----------



## yuanhuang

Hi Aris welcome . No i am the oldest here.


----------



## cwq

how about 2 pm, i need to work at night so cant be too late, then after the show u guys can go for dinner.


----------



## yuanhuang

hi cwq, how many people r going to the outing ?


----------



## Aris

ayu said:


> hello, u r not the oldest one haha... there are some in their mid 30s.. anyway i am 21 year old.. nice to meet you.


 cool.Nice to meet you ayu


----------



## otakux

Aris said:


> cool.Nice to meet you ayu


join the chatroom at night @ http://sganxiety.co.cc


----------



## cwq

yuanhuang said:


> hi cwq, how many people r going to the outing ?


I suppose atm its you, chewren & ayu, unless there others who wants to join us as well. Its 2pm @ The Cathay, if anyone else interested pls let me know.


----------



## Lyt

I can't join you guys! I will be working...


----------



## otakux

u work at night ?


----------



## reliefseeker

anyone free to join me for swimming during Saturdays or Sundays?


----------



## cwq

Tml's meetup cancelled


----------



## cwq

Anyone interested in taking the CPR & AED Certification?
Who knows you might be able to save your puppy's/goldfish's life someday.

Every 2nd Saturday of the month*
(view the latest schedule)
Time:	1.30pm – 5.30pm (4 hours)
Venue:	SHF-Isetan Foundation Heart Wellness Centre, 9 Bishan Place, #07-01*Junction 8 (Office Tower), Singapore
Certification:	Valid for 2 years
Course Fee:	S$107 (including GST)**
*


----------



## otakux

how many sessions ?


----------



## cwq

otakux said:


> how many sessions ?


Just one 4 hour session:time


----------



## cwq

*Brush your teeth*

Just went for dental today. Pulled out a decay tooth, due to complication doctor had to perform a minor surgery to remove the tooth. My gum was cut open to remove the root of the tooth. Beside the pain and discomfort, the bill today $332. To replace the tooth i have 3 options, Implant($3000), Crown($1000) and Denture($400). So moral of the story is... Brush your teeth, take care of it and go for regular dental care.


----------



## otakux

and ur option is ? $3000 is certainly too exp


----------



## cwq

otakux said:


> and ur option is ? $3000 is certainly too exp


no choice, crown n denture not very appealing to me, i will pay by installment.


----------



## cwq

Standard First Aid Training

*Date: 16 April 2011 - 16 April 2011 09:00am to 05:00pm
*Venue:	*Changi Simei CC
*Guest of Honour:	*-
*Organiser:	*Changi Simei C2E
*Contact:	*Changi Simei CC
*6781 6058
*Description:	*Equip members with basic life-saving skills to render assistance to affected residents during an emergency. Certifications will be given upon completion of the training.
*To register, please call 6781 6058.


I will be going for this and the cpr & aed course, anyone wanna join me?


----------



## cwq

Anyone wanna learn to drive a power boat?
Course fee $230
get power boat license after course


----------



## ayu

cwq said:


> Anyone interested in taking the CPR & AED Certification?
> Who knows you might be able to save your puppy's/goldfish's life someday.
> 
> Every 2nd Saturday of the month*
> (view the latest schedule)
> Time: 1.30pm - 5.30pm (4 hours)
> Venue: SHF-Isetan Foundation Heart Wellness Centre, 9 Bishan Place, #07-01*Junction 8 (Office Tower), Singapore
> Certification: Valid for 2 years
> Course Fee: S$107 (including GST)**
> *


din know its so expensive..


----------



## comcom

cwq said:


> Anyone wanna learn to drive a power boat?
> Course fee $230
> get power boat license after course


wah power boat.. cool leh
i want to learn too if got other ppl, gt other course? like parachute? or exciting and bloodpumping?


----------



## cwq

comcom said:


> wah power boat.. cool leh
> i want to learn too if got other ppl, gt other course? like parachute? or exciting and bloodpumping?


cool, i got a kaki then. Sure got other ppl in the course, public course ma. Got repelling course too but not very useful, too hvy for rockclimbing.


----------



## otakux

help get the details first cwq


----------



## otakux

btw i also might be interested in those with not much physical involvement one like yoga, japanese etc. let me know if any of guys planning to join.


----------



## cwq

*Power boat your way to fantasy island*

Powered Pleasure Craft Driving Licence Course (PPCDL)
The Powered Pleasure Craft Driving Licence (PPCDL) is required for driving of engine powered / jet-propelled pleasure craft (with SZ or SZH licence prefixes ) within Singapore port limits.

To experience the freedom of driving your own boat or Jet Ski, sign up the Powered Pleasure Craft Course and obtain your licence. A 4-day course comprises of 3 theories and 1 practical lesson

If you are 16 years of age and above, join us for this course.

Time: Wednesday, Thursday & Friday, 6.30pm to 10.30pm (Theory)
******* Saturday & Sunday, 10.00am to 6.00pm (Practical)
Venue: RSYC Seasports Academy Room
Price: Adults ***- $230 Members; $310 Guests
******* Students - $200 Members; $230 Guests
Prices are inclusive of 7% GST and subjected to change
Full payment or deposit of $50 is required 2 weeks before the commencing date to secure a seat.


----------



## ayu

the chat channel is so dead these few days..


----------



## cwq

*Saturday night fever*

If nxt sat evening organise something like dinner, ktv, pool, bowling, movie or watch the stars etc anybody wanna go? Probably at east coast.


----------



## reliefseeker

cwq said:


> If nxt sat evening organise something like dinner, ktv, pool, bowling, movie or watch the stars etc anybody wanna go? Probably at east coast.


Sarpork! :boogie


----------



## ayu

cwq said:


> If nxt sat evening organise something like dinner, ktv, pool, bowling, movie or watch the stars etc anybody wanna go? Probably at east coast.


ok count me in.


----------



## otakux

guys we need to instil some life into the chatroom.
Pls join the chatroom tonight. Our big bro cwq need ur help to solve his XXX problem.


----------



## ayu

otakux said:


> guys we need to instil some life into the chatroom.
> Pls join the chatroom tonight. Our big bro cwq need ur help to solve his XXX problem.


I working tonight =(


----------



## cwq

otakux said:


> guys we need to instil some life into the chatroom.
> Pls join the chatroom tonight. Our big bro cwq need ur help to solve his XXX problem.


what the hell? What xxx problem? I dnt have any xxx problem, pls say properly or ppl might misunderstand.:mum


----------



## StomachFullofButterflies

hello everybody. anyone keen to share their situations?i have always wanted to share with someone with SAD like me. Its really difficult to relate to ordinary people. Feel free to share. =) 

Also, who is into sports?


----------



## cwq

StomachFullofButterflies said:


> hello everybody. anyone keen to share their situations?i have always wanted to share with someone with SAD like me. Its really difficult to relate to ordinary people. Feel free to share. =)
> 
> Also, who is into sports?


Welcome :wel
yes i am trying to keep fit and open to suggestions of the sort.


----------



## StomachFullofButterflies

cwq said:


> Welcome
> yes i am trying to keep fit and open to suggestions of the sort.


Great! Im a sports enthusiast. I work on my personal fitness regime and i love playing football. What kind of exercise or sports you are into?


----------



## Tessabelle

omg here also so active? i should check back more often then! haha


----------



## cwq

*Event - First Encounter @ Minds Cafe*

Venue: Minds Cafe @ 60A Prinsep Street(Beside Selegie road, nearest Mrt dhoby ghuat)
Date: 14/04/2011 Thursday
Time: 6:30pm
Rendezvous point: Dhoby ghuat MRT control station
Dress code: Smart Casual
Status: Pending confirmation 
Registered person: Jeffery, Otakux, Chewren

Event will commence with minimum sign up of 5 people, please register by 10am tomorrow as i will be making the reservation. All are welcome.

Related link - http://www.themindcafe.com.sg/index.php

Additional Information - You are encourage to be friendly & supportive of each other, be nice


----------



## otakux

should be okay for me. :roll


----------



## cwq

*Event - iWERKS movie @ Singapore Discovery Centre*

Venue: Singapore Discovery Centre, 510 Upper jurong road
Date: 16/04/2011 Saturday
Time: 2pm Tour & Lunch, 3:25pm Movie - RIO
Rendezvous: Boon Lay MRT Control Station
Dress code: Smart Casual
Status: Target attendance met, Confirmed.
Registered person: Ayumi, tensedboy, Aris, Chewren, Cwq, Mrstar

Event will commence with minimum sign up of 5 people. Please register with me before Friday ends.

Additional information:

RIO 3D ticket price @ $9


----------



## reliefseeker

cwq said:


> Venue: Minds Cafe @ 60A Prinsep Street(Beside Selegie road, nearest Mrt dhoby ghuat)
> Date: 14/04/2011 Thursday
> Time: 6:30pm
> Rendezvous point: Dhoby ghuat MRT control station
> Dress code: Smart Casual
> 
> Event will commence with minimum sign up of 5 people, please register by 10am tomorrow as i will be making the reservation. All are welcome.
> 
> Related link - http://www.themindcafe.com.sg/index.php
> 
> Additional Information - You are encourage to be friendly & supportive of each other, be nice


What is the fee there, and how much $$ to bring?


----------



## cwq

*Event - XFire Paintball 2.0 @ Singapore Discovery Centre*

Venue: Singapore Discovery Centre, 510 Upper Jurong Road
Date: To be confirmed
Time: N/A
Rendezvous: Boon Lay MRT Control Station
Dress code: Expect to get dirty, bring along seperate clean clothes to change.
Status: Pending Confirmation
Registered person: Comcom, cwq,

Additional Infomation:

Advance booking of 2 weeks is required for this event.
Minimum of 8 pax, Once 8 pax registered with me i will proceed to book event.
14-17 year old need waiver form signed by parents.
$25 for 90min, $40 for 120min.
Please confirm attendance as deposit is required for booking.


----------



## cwq

tensedboy said:


> What is the fee there, and how much $$ to bring?


I won't be attending this event due to work shedule, check the link for xtra infomation.


----------



## cwq

StomachFullofButterflies said:


> Great! Im a sports enthusiast. I work on my personal fitness regime and i love playing football. What kind of exercise or sports you are into?


Low- Mid intensity. Football not my game sry.


----------



## reliefseeker

StomachFullofButterflies said:


> hello everybody. anyone keen to share their situations?i have always wanted to share with someone with SAD like me. Its really difficult to relate to ordinary people. Feel free to share. =)
> 
> Also, who is into sports?


Hi there, same here. 
I haven't been doing sports for a long time though, but I'm still interested in activities like soccer, badminton, basketball. 
Maybe one day we can meet up and take part in those activities?


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## StomachFullofButterflies

Yes, sure. I do crossings weekly at Farrer Park field. If your are interested. Do you live around there.


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## cwq

StomachFullofButterflies said:


> Yes, sure. I do crossings weekly at Farrer Park field. If your are interested. Do you live around there.


Crossing? Whats that?


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## StomachFullofButterflies

sorry i meant crossings in football.. =)


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## StomachFullofButterflies

tensedboy said:


> Hi there, same here.
> I haven't been doing sports for a long time though, but I'm still interested in activities like soccer, badminton, basketball.
> Maybe one day we can meet up and take part in those activities?


Do you happen to be a MUFC fan also? If you are, GLORY MUFC tonight! Im watching.


----------



## yuanhuang

Goalll!!!!!! Hernandezzzzzzzzz!!


----------



## yuanhuang

Goalllllll!!!!!!


----------



## cwq

*Invitation to CPR & AED courses*

I would like to extend my invititation to all the good folks here at the forum to join me on this course provided by the Singapore heart foundation. They hold training on every 2nd saturday of the month and the next one is on the 14 May which i intend to participate. Enrolment closes on the 2nd of May and is subjected to available place. Please let me know by end of the month as advance booking is required.

Every 2nd Saturday of the month*
(view the latest schedule)
Time:	1.30pm - 5.30pm (4 hours)
Venue:	SHF-Isetan Foundation Heart Wellness Centre, 9 Bishan Place, #07-01*Junction 8 (Office Tower), Singapore
Certification:	Valid for 2 years
Course Fee:	S$107 (including GST)**
*


----------



## reliefseeker

StomachFullofButterflies said:


> Do you happen to be a MUFC fan also? If you are, GLORY MUFC tonight! Im watching.


yeah, good to see manutd through to the ucl semi finals, looks like they're gonna travel to wembley again :b
btw i live in yishun though.


----------



## chewren

I' m sorry i could not make it to today outing as i have to bring my mei to see a doctor, she has high fever. sorry about that.


----------



## cwq

To begin, social confidence is what you feel after you have reversed feelings of social anxiety, nervousness and shyness, which are so often nothing more than symptoms of the anxiety resulting from negative expectation about the interaction. If you sometimes feel uneasy around people, here are some new beliefs to incorporate into your mindset. Repeat the phrases with full emotion, knowing they are true for you now.

• I am OK with myself and this makes me a comfortable person to be with.
• Because I am secure with myself, my presence makes others feel secure.
• My confident and grounded personality is easy for others to like.
• I enjoy spending time with people. People enjoy spending time with me.
• I am comfortable speaking with others and interact with ease, free of social anxiety.
• I enjoy getting to know new people; I am becoming a good conversationalist.
• Because I like myself, I also find it easy to like other people.
• I am interested in others, and because of this they tend to like me more.
• I know that not everyone will like the person I am, and this is OK.
• I always remember that some people will like me, some people won't.
• If someone does not like me or is not comfortable with me, this is their problem.
• If someone expresses negativity to me, it's probably their issue and has nothing to do with me.
• If I experience one rejection, it does not mean everyone will reject me.
• I cannot force others to love me. I do not try to make others love me.
• I can only be the person that I love, and let others love me if they choose.
• I no longer need to please or do favors for others as a requirement for love.
• I do not try to make my interactions with others perfect. I enjoy imperfection.
• I appreciate my humanness. I do not try to be perfect.
• Anyone who disapproves of or mocks me is of no importance to me.
• If someone judges me, then that person's opinion does not matter to me.
• I have no fear of judgment or rejection, because I am ok with myself.
• I am willing to feel nervousness, rejection, and embarrassment. I go through it.
• I take the risk of rejection that getting to know people requires.
• I take chances in order to find the relationships I desire.
• I make the assumption that most people are basically good and friendly.
• I can feel and move through social insecurity or awkwardness.
• If I feel social nervousness, I just feel it, accept it, and move through it.
• I surround myself with positive people who support and encourage me.
• I can abandon dysfunctional relationships and know I will be fine.
• Even if I lose love, I always have it for myself and know more is to come.


----------



## comcom

i sign up for the paintball event


----------



## yuanhuang

cwq said:


> To begin, social confidence is what you feel after you have reversed feelings of social anxiety, nervousness and shyness, which are so often nothing more than symptoms of the anxiety resulting from negative expectation about the interaction. If you sometimes feel uneasy around people, here are some new beliefs to incorporate into your mindset. Repeat the phrases with full emotion, knowing they are true for you now.
> 
> • I am OK with myself and this makes me a comfortable person to be with.
> • Because I am secure with myself, my presence makes others feel secure.
> • My confident and grounded personality is easy for others to like.
> • I enjoy spending time with people. People enjoy spending time with me.
> • I am comfortable speaking with others and interact with ease, free of social anxiety.
> • I enjoy getting to know new people; I am becoming a good conversationalist.
> • Because I like myself, I also find it easy to like other people.
> • I am interested in others, and because of this they tend to like me more.
> • I know that not everyone will like the person I am, and this is OK.
> • I always remember that some people will like me, some people won't.
> • If someone does not like me or is not comfortable with me, this is their problem.
> • If someone expresses negativity to me, it's probably their issue and has nothing to do with me.
> • If I experience one rejection, it does not mean everyone will reject me.
> • I cannot force others to love me. I do not try to make others love me.
> • I can only be the person that I love, and let others love me if they choose.
> • I no longer need to please or do favors for others as a requirement for love.
> • I do not try to make my interactions with others perfect. I enjoy imperfection.
> • I appreciate my humanness. I do not try to be perfect.
> • Anyone who disapproves of or mocks me is of no importance to me.
> • If someone judges me, then that person's opinion does not matter to me.
> • I have no fear of judgment or rejection, because I am ok with myself.
> • I am willing to feel nervousness, rejection, and embarrassment. I go through it.
> • I take the risk of rejection that getting to know people requires.
> • I take chances in order to find the relationships I desire.
> • I make the assumption that most people are basically good and friendly.
> • I can feel and move through social insecurity or awkwardness.
> • If I feel social nervousness, I just feel it, accept it, and move through it.
> • I surround myself with positive people who support and encourage me.
> • I can abandon dysfunctional relationships and know I will be fine.
> • Even if I lose love, I always have it for myself and know more is to come.


nice one! :clap:clap


----------



## beatlesgirl

From a article from Readers Digest: 

Social Anxiety Disorder (Social Phobia) is the third-largest mental health problem in the world. It can be describe as extreme and even debilitating shyness. People can feel so uncomfortable in public or at work that they face social encounter with dread - or simply avoid them out of fear of being judged or embarrassed. Palpitations, sweating, rapid heartbeats and panic attacks can accompany something as seemingly routine as eating at a restaurant.

Reports say that only 37 percent of people with social anxiety seek professional help, with many others too inhibited by their social fears to reach out. "The nature of the problem can mean you avoid addressing it" says Avrum Miller, a Vancouver psychologist.

Where can a painfully shy person turn? Mental health care institutions across Asia can provide information on the support that's available locally. Some groups offer information about disorders as well as links to provincial mental-health groups and resources: Philippine Psychiatric Association (ppa.ph), Singapore Psychiatric Association (singaporepsychiatry.org.sg) and the Malaysian Psychiatric Association (psychiatry-malaysia.org)
Other good starting points are family physicians and local mental-health helplines, which are listed in the phone directory under "distress", "crisis" or "mental health".
It's vital to deal with the problem before it spirals out of control, says mental-health advocate Earla Dunbar. Her own social anxiety was so severe that she spent six years housebound before getting counselling. Now, she runs a Toronto-based support group (socialphobia.ca). "People have to realise," says Dunbar, "that it's not their fault, they're not alone and there is help"

Credits: Stuart Foxman and Debbie Lau from RD.

Just sharing this, thought it's an interesting read. Sorry for any typo, typed on my bb.


----------



## cwq

Thank you for sharing beatlesgirl, very informative. :yes


----------



## cwq

*Announcement*

I am pleased to annouce that the first meet up was successfully conducted. We were five, namely ayumi,jeffery,chewren,mrstar and myself. We had a minor change of plan though, we saw the movie hall pass instead at jurong point after lunching at mos burger. The meeting was cordial, everyone was friendly and pleasant, and most importantly no human was killed or tortured in the process, so hopefully for the next gathering we can see more participation. Peace out.


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## cwq

*Paintball not pain, just dnt aim low*

Please everyone who is interested in the paintball event, msg me all the dates from 7th may to 14th may that you are available as i need to find a date which everybody can attend. They open from 9am-5pm so its a day only event.


----------



## fictionz

beatlesgirl said:


> From a article from Readers Digest:
> 
> Social Anxiety Disorder (Social Phobia) is the third-largest mental health problem in the world. It can be describe as extreme and even debilitating shyness. People can feel so uncomfortable in public or at work that they face social encounter with dread - or simply avoid them out of fear of being judged or embarrassed. Palpitations, sweating, rapid heartbeats and panic attacks can accompany something as seemingly routine as eating at a restaurant.
> 
> Reports say that only 37 percent of people with social anxiety seek professional help, with many others too inhibited by their social fears to reach out. "The nature of the problem can mean you avoid addressing it" says Avrum Miller, a Vancouver psychologist.
> 
> Where can a painfully shy person turn? Mental health care institutions across Asia can provide information on the support that's available locally. Some groups offer information about disorders as well as links to provincial mental-health groups and resources: Philippine Psychiatric Association (ppa.ph), Singapore Psychiatric Association (singaporepsychiatry.org.sg) and the Malaysian Psychiatric Association (psychiatry-malaysia.org)
> Other good starting points are family physicians and local mental-health helplines, which are listed in the phone directory under "distress", "crisis" or "mental health".
> It's vital to deal with the problem before it spirals out of control, says mental-health advocate Earla Dunbar. Her own social anxiety was so severe that she spent six years housebound before getting counselling. Now, she runs a Toronto-based support group (socialphobia.ca). "People have to realise," says Dunbar, "that it's not their fault, they're not alone and there is help"
> 
> Credits: Stuart Foxman and Debbie Lau from RD.
> 
> Just sharing this, thought it's an interesting read. Sorry for any typo, typed on my bb.


Was it the mascot girl one :b ?
When I came across that in RD that I subscribed to, I never thought I'd ever read about SA outside the internet world.


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## beatlesgirl

fictionz said:


> Was it the mascot girl one :b ?
> When I came across that in RD that I subscribed to, I never thought I'd ever read about SA outside the internet world.


Yep!!! Same too, that's why I thought I'd share


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## cwq

At Singapore Children's Society, we have a range of volunteering opportunities that you can choose from. Reach out to a child by becoming a friend, or simply lend a listening ear to children who are lonely, distressed or facing relationship problems. You can also choose to educate and enhance the lives of our children by giving talks, conducting activities, or teaching a skill.

The following is a list of volunteer opportunities available:
Academic Coaching:
Volunteers are needed to provide coaching and academic-related help for our children.
Activity Facilitator:
Volunteers are needed to assist the Programme Coordinator to plan and execute programmes and activities for the children.
Administrative Help:
Volunteers are needed to assist in filing, data entry, inventory, sorting and mailers.
Befriending:
Volunteers are needed to help out as role models and befrienders to our children and youth. These activities include manning the Tinkle Friend Helpline, VWSP befriender, and Project CABIN befriender.

http://www.childrensociety.org.sg/volunteer/how_you_can_help.htm

Children are amazing creations, innocent, pure, cute and tons of fun. They will touch you right there where no adults can, you will find it much easlier mixing around with them then grown up so why not volunteer and do something in your free time, reconnect with your inner child. Find out more from the above link.


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## coward84

Hi, just watched a movie called "Punch drunk love" featuring Adam Sandler who played a character suffering from social anxiety disorder. Halfway through the show i discovered several similarities between me and the character which is interesting. This movie is weird and funny and i enjoyed it very much, btw it can be found in youtube.


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## cwq

*Health day with cwq*

Venue: Toa payoh stadium 
Date: 23/04/2011 Saturday
Time: 2pm
Dress code: sport attire


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## reliefseeker

*Solutions anyone....?*

Ugh...hey guys, i need help here...
My school has just started from monday onwards... 
And I seem to have trouble adjusting myself back to school because of SA.. 
Anxiety in school has never been that worse before.

Most of the time I had trouble concentrating/paying attention to class because of recurring paranoid/anxiety thoughts in my head like "What if this and that happened?". 
Then I starting to lose interest in learning, and focus on the wrong things instead.

On the social side of things, its not getting any better either. 
I feel extremely pressurized when classmates around me starts to talk, because I tend to force myself to talk to them, even when I hated talking 
And because of this, I end up being the quietest guy in class.

Next, I felt dis-interested in everything about school. 
Studies, classmates, friends, matters in school, just about everything. I really got no interest whatsoever...Maybe its due to my SA perhaps.

I wanna quit school and end all the suffering right immediately...
There's no way I have to bear with such horrible feelings of anxiety in school forever. 
It needs to end. 
_
Don't remind me that I have to spare a thought about my future, because I'm too depressed to think about it at the moment...._


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## mrstar

If u feel too stressed up....then quit.Isolate yourself from everyone,stop all forms of communication,even internet.Lock yourself in your room 24/7.See how..


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## reliefseeker

mrstar said:


> If u feel too stressed up....then quit.Isolate yourself from everyone,stop all forms of communication,even internet.Lock yourself in your room 24/7.See how..


yea. But The only thing that's stopping me from doing that is my parents.


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## cwq

tensedboy said:


> Ugh...hey guys, i need help here...
> My school has just started from monday onwards...
> And I seem to have trouble adjusting myself back to school because of SA..
> Anxiety in school has never been that worse before.
> 
> Most of the time I had trouble concentrating/paying attention to class because of recurring paranoid/anxiety thoughts in my head like "What if this and that happened?".
> Then I starting to lose interest in learning, and focus on the wrong things instead.
> 
> On the social side of things, its not getting any better either.
> I feel extremely pressurized when classmates around me starts to talk, because I tend to force myself to talk to them, even when I hated talking
> And because of this, I end up being the quietest guy in class.
> 
> Next, I felt dis-interested in everything about school.
> Studies, classmates, friends, matters in school, just about everything. I really got no interest whatsoever...Maybe its due to my SA perhaps.
> 
> I wanna quit school and end all the suffering right immediately...
> There's no way I have to bear with such horrible feelings of anxiety in school forever.
> It needs to end.
> _
> Don't remind me that I have to spare a thought about my future, because I'm too depressed to think about it at the moment...._


Your trying to avoid, to run away but you cant see right now that theres no running away from it, from life. You can have a temporary relief but eventually u have to put yourself in that situation again as you enter into the workforce, and it gets harder as you grow older and its harder too in workplace due to agendas and conflict of interest, its a dog eat dog world out there, and ppl wnt hestitate to eat u alive if its to their advantage(figure of speech). What r u gonna do for a living? Are u gonna stay at home all day avoiding social situation so you can have peace of mind? Which brings about another issue, that of habit, your gonna get use to living that kind of lifestyle which kindda adds on to the difficulties, so you have SA and now also a habit to overcome. Unless you want to live like a hermit forever which is very torturing n lonely, not to mention that you might develop other complications. Bottom line is you cant avoid it, no running away, the only way to really get peace/comfortable is to attack it, to face it, to get used to it. I suggest you speak to ur doctor who can better advice u, r u seeing a doctor? Taking ur medication?. What i can say is try to boh chap, dnt give a damn about what others think of you, nobody is perfect, everybody have imperfection, try not to judge too much, dnt try to read minds and predict the future. Try to release urself from all those cares n worries. Focus instead on what ur trying to achieve in poly. You are at exactly the same position i was during my younger days at the poly and i took the wrong turn made the wrong choice and here i am now, i still have to face the music and i am at an even unfavourable position now to begin, dnt make my mistake n dnt follow my steps. I am too tired right now but maybe i will write more tml.


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## reliefseeker

You know, I'm seriously consider shutting myself out from this world, cus its the only way i can express my suffering to everyone.
I'm fully aware of the consequences of doing it. Its not like I have any better choices though.

cwq what ur saying is the same as what my parents have told me. 

but i dont think i will ever regret making this decision, becuase if i don't make this choice to end all the bull****, i'm gonna be setting myself up into a predicament that's equivalent to lifelong suffering.

Maybe I can waste all the time, making useless efforts to tolerate SA and live with it. 
But nothing's gonna improve if it keeps on like this.


----------



## fictionz

beatlesgirl said:


> Yep!!! Same too, that's why I thought I'd share


I uploaded scans of the pages online actually :b
Get them here at the end of the page
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...y-d1866-misc-files-handouts-articles-etc.html

Sorry if I'm bugging the thread purpose... I am not Singaporean but still I thought I'd share after I read your post


----------



## cwq

To stop stress and anxiety from arising in the first place, we must look at where those feelings are originating from. And in almost every case, the cause is thoughts and beliefs. You've probably heard the term "seeing the world through rose colored glasses". Well, with anxiety, you're seeing the world through lenses of fear. It is not situations themselves that cause stress - it is your perception of how they may affect you. Thinking of and imagining feared outcomes excessively eventually causes the body to react to the images as if they are reality, resulting in feelings of anxiety and stress. Thoughts, being the filters of perception, are the manufacturer of feelings. And the emotional quality of everything you do during your day is going to reflect those feelings that you have created with your thoughts.

Sometimes the reverse can occur, where a feeling influences thinking. A good example is a panic attack, or anytime we're afraid of an emotion. Fear of the feeling itself causes us to imagine something bad. It's for that reason that this program began with developing your ability to handle all feelings so that you don't ever have to fear them. But in most cases, the downward thought-feeling cycle usually begins with thoughts.

Do you wonder why you feel better when you're with certain people, or in certain situations? It's because you think differently in those situations. If you're with good friends that accept and appreciate you and make you think well of yourself, you're probably going to feel fine. But if you're in a "stressful situation" that poses a lot of "negative possible outcomes", you're probably going to do a lot more "what if" and "catastrophe" thinking. But you could instead be exerting a sense of control by imagining and implementing positive solutions. Why do you feel better when you're reading an inspirational book? Because it's giving you inspirational thoughts. But you can start producing your own inspirational thoughts! Why do you reach out for, or even cling to, certain people when you're feeling fearful? Because their presence or supportive attitude enables the type of thinking within you that makes you feel safe and secure. But you can do the same thing for yourself.

Whether in words, images or both, we're involved almost constantly in an inner dialog with ourselves. And to find anxiety relief we need to control the direction of this communication. Rather than continuing to blindly follow the programming we've passively accepted from un-enlightened people and experiences, we can choose to start taking conscious control of deciding the type of thoughts that we'll produce and speak to ourselves.

Improving the quality of your thoughts is a critical step toward defeating anxiety. It's the mental preoccupation with images of things you fear or "bad" things happening, that causes your body to get nervous, release adrenaline, and create other anxiety sensations. The fact is, if your mind didn't have a tendency to dwell on negative thoughts and possibilities, the fear reaction of anxiety would have no basis on which to grow, and avoidance behaviors leading to depression would be much less likely to occur. Stress and anxiety cannot exist without the thoughts that create them.

The conclusion? Reverse your thinking and you will reverse your anxiety. In principle, it's really that simple. (In actuality, it will help greatly if you first master the method taught in the audio program, so you're not so mentally pre-occupied with feared possibilities.)

Those who stagnate in life, those who resist change, and of course those who tend toward anxiety, are the ones who dwell on negative possibilities. If you expect bad things, or nothing, to come of your efforts, you're probably not going to do much to better yourself - you act in accordance with your beliefs. But people who are successful and emotionally free have their minds focused on the positive possibilities and act toward manifesting those possibilities. Don't cheat yourself out of all that your life could be. Know that if you continue thinking and acting in your current manner, this is what your life will be. But it can be so much more. Know that you are the creator of your life, and start to choose more constructive thoughts and beliefs for yourself.

The “speaking” aspect of Self Therapy involves taking back conscious control of your thoughts, which are essentially your communication to yourself. You stop passively sustaining old self-limiting messages, and decide what thoughts and beliefs you need to internalize in order to reach your objectives, even if your only objective is simple inner harmony and freedom from anxiety. To reverse the cycle of negativity and anxiety, be aware of the walls that improper thinking builds between you and your true goals, and begin to re-arrange your thoughts and beliefs in a more constructive manner. Start with a fully committed decision to produce as many positive, constructive thoughts from this point on as possible.

Sure, "bad" things will sometimes happen. But your mental energy would be much better spent on manifesting positive possibilities and solving problems that really do arise, rather than imagining the myriad situations that could, but probably won't, arise.


----------



## Op431

hello everyone!

wow, what a forum!
i thought this is an 'ang moh' social anxiety forum

'88 dragon here, hello to Aris too!
being young or old doesn't matter - it's only a number
well, exercise is essential to keep yourself healthy and young at heart!

since primary four, i felt lonely with and without my friends
i thought there was something wrong with me - mixed breed, speech impairment or handwriting?
in groups, i would be the quietest one because the topic didn't interest me and i didn't have an idea what they were talking about
so i listened more than i talked
sometimes, stoned staring into a white wall
anyway, listening wasn't a bad thing
cos the next time, who knows, maybe there will be another group you are in and you can chip in what you've listened from your previous group
i was called up by my school counsellor several times during my secondary school
she said there wasn't anything wrong with me
it's just that i needed to be positive
i questioned myself everyday till i reached the age of 18 and found out the answer
it was actually my choice (life is full of choices)
i take a couple of weeks to judge and analyse a person to become my friend
i choose the clique i want to join
there are times i always feel myself having to agree to the leader so i back out and be alone
cos there are times we have to be alone to think (being alone can be the most comfortable state in your life! but not too long though because in this world, we are living with people and connecting with them)
i really wonder those people being in the group always feel happy most of the time
they may look happy on the outside, but only God knows what's going on in their inside

after reading through all the posts from 1-13, i feel we are actually normal people, after all (the fact and truth)!
because we still hang out with friends, chat, catch a movie, going to gym and do all the normal activities daily
the difference is that we are quieter compared to another group; that's all
don't you think so?
:haha


----------



## Op431

fictionz said:


> I uploaded scans of the pages online actually :b
> Get them here at the end of the page
> http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...y-d1866-misc-files-handouts-articles-etc.html
> 
> Sorry if I'm bugging the thread purpose... I am not Singaporean but still I thought I'd share after I read your post


they're awesome!
thank you fictionz!


----------



## comcom

tensedboy said:


> Ugh...hey guys, i need help here...
> My school has just started from monday onwards...
> And I seem to have trouble adjusting myself back to school because of SA..
> Anxiety in school has never been that worse before.
> 
> Most of the time I had trouble concentrating/paying attention to class because of recurring paranoid/anxiety thoughts in my head like "What if this and that happened?".
> Then I starting to lose interest in learning, and focus on the wrong things instead.
> 
> On the social side of things, its not getting any better either.
> I feel extremely pressurized when classmates around me starts to talk, because I tend to force myself to talk to them, even when I hated talking
> And because of this, I end up being the quietest guy in class.
> 
> Next, I felt dis-interested in everything about school.
> Studies, classmates, friends, matters in school, just about everything. I really got no interest whatsoever...Maybe its due to my SA perhaps.
> 
> I wanna quit school and end all the suffering right immediately...
> There's no way I have to bear with such horrible feelings of anxiety in school forever.
> It needs to end.
> _
> Don't remind me that I have to spare a thought about my future, because I'm too depressed to think about it at the moment...._


hey tensedboy don tense lei. haha jk, i think u just have to look things from the bright side. or just find 1 time to let it all out, cry, hit or wat, let all the anger out just 1 time, like the compressed bottle explode. once explode le, u will feel much better, cuz its empty again, u can start to fill it up. u will feel tensed again only when the bottle if full. I think 1 way is you can write all your anger in a piece of paper, than burn that piece of paper so that you can see your anger go away.
Another thing u can try is just get a new hobby or learn something new to get your minds off things. I dont really believe all this in the past before, because i think its just bull **** ppl are telling me, what learn new hobby. But after you have something you are interested in, you really do feel more interested in life. and have something to look forward to. One other thing I used to comfort myself is, I will nv see those ppl again. and i can start again a new start when i go to the next level, work or what.
Relax tensedboy!


----------



## cwq

tensedboy said:


> You know, I'm seriously consider shutting myself out from this world, cus its the only way i can express my suffering to everyone.
> I'm fully aware of the consequences of doing it. Its not like I have any better choices though.
> 
> cwq what ur saying is the same as what my parents have told me.
> 
> but i dont think i will ever regret making this decision, becuase if i don't make this choice to end all the bull****, i'm gonna be setting myself up into a predicament that's equivalent to lifelong suffering.
> 
> Maybe I can waste all the time, making useless efforts to tolerate SA and live with it.
> But nothing's gonna improve if it keeps on like this.


You need to talk to your doctor, work with him to help yourself. Take ur medication, u may have to try different types of medication to see which works for you. Give the doctor and yourselfa chance. If you think its become overwhelming and you need a break you can try talking to your doctor and school to see if they can allow you to take a break from school to sort out yourself. Make good use of the time off from school to sort out your thoughts. I think some close fren to support you and instil positive thinking and encouragement will do you some good too. But you must also take responsibility for your life and initiative to help yourself, instead of wasting your time away on pc games, think of things you can do to better yourself, read up on SA self help, cbt methods to replace your negative thinking with positive ones, if u got a problem with crowds, u can try to get use to crowds by going out to places with lots of ppl etc, mingle around ppl, keep doing it until you get more n more comfortable. Bottom line, you may take a break if you think its too much to bear right now, deviate, make a detour etc, but never stop trying. Professional help + Self help + Medication + Support from frens.


----------



## reliefseeker

Thanks for the advice.

As time goes by I think I will start getting use to school life. 
But that doesn't mean my SA is gonna recover anytime soon though. 

I still have difficulty coping with certain situations like at times I'm very paranoid and self-conscious about people who might judge me as a "schizophrenic/weirdo" in school (cus I'm too quiet)...
Also, I couldn't open my mouth when I'm required to discuss about a project -.-"""...
And also, times where I couldn't motivate myself to do simple things like, paying attention in class, participating in group conversations, contribute in group discussion. 

Besides, it's hard to overcome these all by myself especially when I don't have any clique/group of friends to stick around with in school.

Things would've been different if I had a group of friends to begin with though...


----------



## cwq

One of the most helpful things you can do to overcome social anxiety disorder, or social phobia, is to face the social situations you fear rather than avoid them. Avoidance keeps social anxiety disorder going. It prevents you from becoming more comfortable in social situations and learning how to cope. In fact, the more you avoid a feared social situation, the more frightening it becomes.

While it may seem impossible to overcome a feared social situation, you can do it by taking it one small step at a time. The key is to start with a situation that you can handle and gradually work your way up to more challenging situations, building your confidence and coping skills as you move up the “anxiety ladder.”

For example, if socializing with strangers makes you anxious, you might start by accompanying an outgoing friend to a party. Once you’re comfortable with that step, you might try introducing yourself to one new person, and so on.


----------



## ayu

cwq said:


> One of the most helpful things you can do to overcome social anxiety disorder, or social phobia, is to face the social situations you fear rather than avoid them. Avoidance keeps social anxiety disorder going. It prevents you from becoming more comfortable in social situations and learning how to cope. In fact, the more you avoid a feared social situation, the more frightening it becomes.
> 
> While it may seem impossible to overcome a feared social situation, you can do it by taking it one small step at a time. The key is to start with a situation that you can handle and gradually work your way up to more challenging situations, building your confidence and coping skills as you move up the "anxiety ladder."
> 
> For example, if socializing with strangers makes you anxious, you might start by accompanying an outgoing friend to a party. Once you're comfortable with that step, you might try introducing yourself to one new person, and so on.


agree with you.


----------



## reliefseeker

Perhaps the best choice is to overcome it, but don't you realize that it's easier said than done?
Every single school day I tell myself to be positive, and start taking action, so I did, but eventually the feeling still WON'T go away. 

It came back everytime, and it's making me retreat from everything. 

This anxiety feeling is always automatically triggered whenever I'm in school (and elsewhere) 
I have no idea how to make myself comfortable there at all. 

It's been like this for 6,7 years, in secondary school, in ITE, and now in poly.... 
No matter what, during those days, I always put my health in risk just to FACE THE FEAR of stepping out of my comfort zone, schooling, talking, and so on..But what did I get as a result? The same old unwanted feeling...what a disappointment. 

And yet, I had to bear with this for another year or two.
Hopefully time goes by fast. And maybe I'll stay positive as much as I can...


----------



## otakux

one two year ?
you don't intend to work ?


----------



## reliefseeker

otakux said:


> one two year ?
> you don't intend to work ?


still got two more years of schooling to go, not so fast.


----------



## cwq

*The meaning of Otaku*

Otaku is extremely negative in meaning as it is used to refer to someone who stays at home all the time and doesn't have a life (no social life, no love life, etc)

Usually an otaku person has nothing better to do with their life so they pass the time by watching anime, playing videogames, surfing the internet (otaku is also used to refer to a nerd/hacker/programmer).

In the Western culture, people confuse otaku to be something positive like "Guru". If you think about it, it's not really good to be called a guru if it means you are a total loser who can't socialize with other people except through the Internet.

Other Japanese words which have been confused by Westerners also include but not limited to: Anime, Manga, etc


----------



## cwq

*Tap tap*


----------



## reliefseeker

^^
Well I'm one of those otaku with barely any social life, love life, and pretty much stays at home all the time :yes
There's no shame in admitting that. It's not like you're some hideous person committing crimes in the dark. 

I became an otaku when I've got neglected by friends due to depression and SA. 
Ever since then, I find no point in spending time with people, talking or chit-chatting. 
I start to enjoy doing things by myself, like playing games, surfing the internet. I enjoy locking myself up in a room, doing the things i like. 

It's better than going out there, trying hard to please people and get them to understand you, when they actually don't even bother to care.


----------



## Namida

Hello tensedboy!

I read your post in the previous page and I've got to say that you are not alone. 
I'm currently studying in JC so I can associate with you. I do have a clique of friends there but they are from a different class from a different course than mine. I feel much more relaxed and calm when I'm with them than with my own class. Bear in mind that I took the initiative to get to know one person from the aforementioned clique of friends. We are in the same mother tongue class, the teacher had not arrived yet at that time and we were one of the people who arrived early so I just greeted her and we just talked. I actually told her frankly that I was unable to make friends and sustain the friendships. And she scoffed it off and told me she was anti-social when she was younger. It calmed me down a bit but as a few weeks passed, it turns out she was not 'anti-social' as she claimed to be, at least it was different from my definition of the word.

That aside, I just wanted to assure that you're not alone in this. I mostly think that I'm not that widely accepted in the society most probably because I abide by my religious beliefs so I dont follow the 'trend'. I dont like to complain about my life, as in for example a person in my class threw f-bombs when our PW teacher told us to do 2 FMAs for our third PI draft a few days ago though not at me. Other people who heard him just laughed and effortlessly carried out a conversation with him. It just puzzles me how people these days dont care about vulgarities being used at them. I dont swear and I dont get the point in swearing. It's not beneficial. But I dont pursue that issue. Just something that bugs me.

And I was doing some soul-searching lately and I realized that I was quite social and being myself when I was younger up until I was turning 11. I started being addicted to the computer and I became more addicted to animes, tokusatsu and mangas in particular. I spent more than 7 hours using the computer indulging in my interests that I shut myself from the world. At that time, people noticed how I changed gradually cos I heard them whispering among themselves on how I 'was so quiet'. It was a transformation and at that time, I didnt think it was wrong. And it carried out through secondary school and now in JC. Whenever I had homework, I prioritize them last cos I always wanted to play the com. It didnt bother me much in secondary school when I felt so awkward with majority of people in the school and only calm with my own clique of friends.Whenever I'm at school, I just assured myself that the awkwardness will soon be over and I would thoroughly enjoy myself indulging in my interests when I get home. 

But now, actually I realised this a month ago, I realised that I cant keep up being a withdrawn person forever. I need to change myself. I even approached my school's counsellor. The sessions were going out smoothly and when I thought a problem is solved, another problem cropped up. I mostly think it's due to my short attention span which attributes my lack of focus on the situation at hand. Which is another huge problem by itself.

I also read cwq's post and I agreed with what you said about it being 'easier than done'. 
'Reverse your thinking'. Yes that's a simple solution. But it's very hard to execute. For this to work, practice is needed. 
Right now, it's our innate personality that we are such withdrawn people. Changing a natural part of us is extremely difficult and may prove to be a challenge. But it's not impossible.
Thank you cwq for that lengthy post on the solutions to our problem.

Btw tensedboy, I'll be resuming school tomorrow and as usual, it would be a struggling week for me again, trying to smile and appear friendly even when some people wont respond to me. 
My family told me that the purpose I go to JC is to study,not to make friends. 
My close friend told me there's no need to get so hung up about other people being able to socialize. I am my ownself. You are your ownself. Love yourself! And everything will turn out fine! Gradually!


----------



## reliefseeker

Good post Namida :yes

I understand and agree with everything you said. 

For years, I've been dealing with SA & depression alone and no one knows about it. 
Even when my parents knew, they'll surely tell me to suck it up and face it. 
It just feels horrible to bottle everything up inside and pretend like as if nothing happened though. 
I definitely feel better for now. 

Anyway, I understand that I'm not alone in this. But I'm bothered by the fact that I'm the only one in my school who suffers from this problem... everyone else don't seem to have a problem engaging in fun, laughter, or chit-chatting, but I'm like the only person who is totally uninterested in those things. 
It just bothers me though. I just can't get myself involved in school, and I've lost all my motivation & focus in studies, besides, having few friends in school doesn't help either. 

But right now, after reading all these posts, I definitely feel a lot better, and hopefully things will go well the next few days.


----------



## beatlesgirl

Today in PE, my class was playing captain's ball, since my teacher was busy with something else. I badly want to participate, but I knew nothing good will come out from it. The agony of being rejected, standing there like an idiot with a little glimpse of hope that someone chooses you to be in their team, and the fact that no one wishes to have you in the team is painful. I'd rather not play than go through that. 

I sat down, thinking about how unpopular and repelling am I to my classmates and teachers. Though I hand in my assignments on time, I can't help but feel that they find me a annoyance. I am aware that I'm fat and not pleasant looking, but why are teachers nowadays so look-oriented and bias? Noticed that they can't bother to listen to me while I ask them a question besides quickly giving me a answer to brush me off. What about the others? They can patiently listen to them and slowly give them solutions. 

Seriously. If teachers can actually not be bothered about how ugly/pretty their students look, and be bias to them just because they're popular and treat them each with fair and just, I'll definitely be happier. 

(Sidenote: I'm really really sorry for writing out all these crappy emo stuff, but I have no other means to spill out my anger/sadness and hence this is my only way of releasing it)


----------



## Hitori

tensedboy said:


> Good post Namida :yes
> 
> I understand and agree with everything you said.
> 
> For years, I've been dealing with SA & depression alone and no one knows about it.
> Even when my parents knew, they'll surely tell me to suck it up and face it.
> It just feels horrible to bottle everything up inside and pretend like as if nothing happened though.
> I definitely feel better for now.
> 
> Anyway, I understand that I'm not alone in this. But I'm bothered by the fact that I'm the only one in my school who suffers from this problem... everyone else don't seem to have a problem engaging in fun, laughter, or chit-chatting, but I'm like the only person who is totally uninterested in those things.
> It just bothers me though. I just can't get myself involved in school, and I've lost all my motivation & focus in studies, besides, having few friends in school doesn't help either.
> 
> But right now, after reading all these posts, I definitely feel a lot better, and hopefully things will go well the next few days.


Hi tensedboy

I can relate to your situation about being totally uninterested in spending time with people and so on. Yet somehow, some part of me wants to have friends who I can share many things with. Not just about being able to share interests, but also about sharing freely but respectfully deep thoughts and feelings about our past and present life experiences.

You mentioned you are now in poly right? I was from ITE and poly too. If one finds it difficult to communicate with people, to make friends and participate naturally in group discussions, etc., then when it comes to project presentations in front of the whole class, it's going to be quite tough. There are many project presentations for poly students, especially for business or hospitality students. Engineering not so many, but you definitely need to do group presentation for your final year project.

Personally I'm not a innately withdrawn person. Maybe I'm just disappointed with my experiences with people so far. However, that doesn't mean I'm giving up entirely. It just means I have to be more careful, patient and brave in my efforts to know more new people; and perhaps from there meet friends who can relate to my situation and not find me to be weird, boring or emo. Such friends will be very hard to find though. But still not impossible.

In short, don't give up entirely even when you are very disappointed with your circle of friends or acquaintances right now. If you follow any religious belief, you will find strength in knowing that you can pull through - even when you feel lonely or even a little lost in the process of learning to make friends, to learn to love yourself as you are and so on. But even without any religious belief, there are still many ways out there to help yourself.

Learn to care about yourself and others, especially when you find those who are like you. If you can't find the friends you need, the easiest way is to learn to become the kind of friend that you would really want to have beside you.

The journey may be long, but you are not alone. Take care, tensedboy.


----------



## Hitori

beatlesgirl said:


> Today in PE, my class was playing captain's ball, since my teacher was busy with something else. I badly want to participate, but I knew nothing good will come out from it. The agony of being rejected, standing there like an idiot with a little glimpse of hope that someone chooses you to be in their team, and the fact that no one wishes to have you in the team is painful. I'd rather not play than go through that.
> 
> I sat down, thinking about how unpopular and repelling am I to my classmates and teachers. Though I hand in my assignments on time, I can't help but feel that they find me a annoyance. I am aware that I'm fat and not pleasant looking, but why are teachers nowadays so look-oriented and bias? Noticed that they can't bother to listen to me while I ask them a question besides quickly giving me a answer to brush me off. What about the others? They can patiently listen to them and slowly give them solutions.
> 
> Seriously. If teachers can actually not be bothered about how ugly/pretty their students look, and be bias to them just because they're popular and treat them each with fair and just, I'll definitely be happier.
> 
> (Sidenote: I'm really really sorry for writing out all these crappy emo stuff, but I have no other means to spill out my anger/sadness and hence this is my only way of releasing it)


Hi beatlesgirl,

I can relate to what you are sharing here. It is definitely painful. No doubts about that. I get rejected countless times for projects or PE games too. Rejection comes in many forms and one of them would be that you are usually the last one to be chosen to be in any project or PE games team.

There are many reasons for such rejections. One of them, I think, would be that I'm not very athletic-looking and my movements are not smooth and quick; so that may affect the decisions of others in getting me to be in their team.

Maybe it can be like what you have said, your looks and your body shape have somehow affected how people treat you, even among teachers. However, from personal experiences, there may be other factors. They include your body language (being perceived as negative or boring) to what others perceive as being generally incompetent or to usually have a poor understanding of whatever is being taught. Once such impressions start to form inside them consciously or subconsciously, it will be hard to change their behavior and body language towards you as time goes by. Unless they start to see what they consider as considerable improvements to what they think is unattractive or weird.

Actually, what you lack in physical appearance can be made up for in other areas. Learn to be good at things that are both useful to you and others, for example. Learn to care about people around you sincerely but be careful not to do things that you know are wrong to 'earn' the approval or feeling of being welcomed by others. Some day, you will find friends and teachers who will not mind your looks, but will take the time and effort to know the real you - the real you who is learning to be a better person day by day.

It will not be easy. It will be very tough actually, depending on various circumstances that arise from time to time. But there will always be people who are truly interested in getting to know new friends who are known for their upright and caring character rather than for their looks.


----------



## comcom

haizz gg to let out my unhappiness here for the sake of a more positive and healthy life.
Feel abit down today, actually not abit, very down. Although this prob hv been bugging me for wks, it really took me hard today. I have to source for an internship for my study. Although I am not really good socially, the only thing i can confidently say i am really good at is my studies. I come in minimum top 5 every year in my class since pri sch, up till even JC, although there is no ranking, but I know my results is still among the top. and ppl have me telling me I am quite smart, so I hv been really confident of my ability and studies in the past up till now.
I have to find an internship, and because of my lack of social skills, I wasnt very active in CCAs or outside activities that need leadership etc. So I can say my resume was rather weak. I couldnt get any internship even when people around me got it. But i still try to remain upbeat and positive that the other applications i send that have not come back, one of them will be positive. up till last wk, when i hv no choice but to give up my waiting and let my school assign me. so when they did , i did get a co, but i wasnt careful in reading, and i realise i did not really take a module that is required, so my application now can be sortta pending. 
Now i just hv this feeling of lostness and unwantedness, not knowing what to do with my life. I hv previously known very clearly what i want to do in the future, what job i want and thought confidently that I can get it. now i am just not so sure of my ability any more. :afr
kk after writing this long post, if anyone is still reading. i will say bravo! cuz I think i would not have read it myself, cuz its so damn freaking long. but i just wanted to let it off my chest and concentrate on my next task facing me. phew.. big stone off my chest. hope no one i knows read this or recog is me after reading it.


----------



## reliefseeker

Hitori said:


> Hi tensedboy
> 
> I can relate to your situation about being totally uninterested in spending time with people and so on. Yet somehow, some part of me wants to have friends who I can share many things with. Not just about being able to share interests, but also about sharing freely but respectfully deep thoughts and feelings about our past and present life experiences.
> 
> You mentioned you are now in poly right? I was from ITE and poly too. If one finds it difficult to communicate with people, to make friends and participate naturally in group discussions, etc., then when it comes to project presentations in front of the whole class, it's going to be quite tough. There are many project presentations for poly students, especially for business or hospitality students. Engineering not so many, but you definitely need to do group presentation for your final year project.
> 
> Personally I'm not a innately withdrawn person. Maybe I'm just disappointed with my experiences with people so far. However, that doesn't mean I'm giving up entirely. It just means I have to be more careful, patient and brave in my efforts to know more new people; and perhaps from there meet friends who can relate to my situation and not find me to be weird, boring or emo. Such friends will be very hard to find though. But still not impossible.
> 
> In short, don't give up entirely even when you are very disappointed with your circle of friends or acquaintances right now. If you follow any religious belief, you will find strength in knowing that you can pull through - even when you feel lonely or even a little lost in the process of learning to make friends, to learn to love yourself as you are and so on. But even without any religious belief, there are still many ways out there to help yourself.
> 
> Learn to care about yourself and others, especially when you find those who are like you. If you can't find the friends you need, the easiest way is to learn to become the kind of friend that you would really want to have beside you.
> 
> The journey may be long, but you are not alone. Take care, tensedboy.


Thanks for the useful post 

Now, it's the second week of school for me, and as usual, I attended school with the same anxiety feeling.

But, I did something good today. I've started to say "hi" to some of my classmates whom I never talked to. I know it doesn't mean much, but I'm happy that they did the same thing back.

And then during breaktime.... 
Although I feel very reluctant to eat with my male classmates, I still followed them and tried to talk in the process. 
But I see most of them had fun talking with each other, and there's no topic that I'm interested in, so I end up talking with my only closest "friend" instead. 
Sighs....I'm wondering if my male classmates are looking down on me like an outcast or a reject, all because I never talk with them most of the time. Furthermore I don't have a clique of my own except for 1 close friend in school.

Well...Can't blame anybody though. I know for sure poly life is gonna be like hell for an introverted and socially-withdrawn person like me.

I definitely have to change for sure... but everytime I tried, I always end up retreating myself because of the anxiety and lack of interest to socialize. 
It's kinda like...My mind automatically tells me not to talk and participate anymore. It has already become like a personality of mine.


----------



## cwq

*Mind games*

Venue: Minds Cafe @ 60A Prinsep Street(Beside Selegie road, nearest Mrt dhoby ghuat)
Date: 29/04/2011 Friday
Time: 6:30pm
Rendezvous point: Dhoby ghuat MRT control station
Dress code: Casual
Status: CANCELLED
Registered person: Jeffery, Tessabelle, Mrstar, chewren

Related link - http://www.themindcafe.com.sg/index.php


----------



## comcom

cwq said:


> Venue: Minds Cafe @ 60A Prinsep Street(Beside Selegie road, nearest Mrt dhoby ghuat)
> Date: 29/04/2011 Friday
> Time: 6:30pm
> Rendezvous point: Dhoby ghuat MRT control station
> Dress code: Casual
> Status: Pending confirmation
> Registered person: Jeffery, Comcom, Ayumi, Tessabelle
> 
> Related link - http://www.themindcafe.com.sg/index.php


just realised... thurs is 2 dollars cheaper. haha random


----------



## cwq

http://www.selftherapy.org/listen/


----------



## mrstar

Count me in for friday.


----------



## chewren

mrstar said:


> Count me in for friday.


Same for me


----------



## Namida

@tensedboy No problem! What everybody needs here is lots of love from other people. That way, we all realize that we are not alone. And that way we receive moral suppport and strive our hardest to improve on a large scale. 

I can really relate to your stories. Unfortunately I have no effective solutions to these kinds of situations. As we get older, we tend to lose interest from other people easily cos by my age (17 years old) almost everyone has become socially professional and can make friends easily. It's the sad truth. And I also dread break times. Usually after my mother tongue class there'll be a break time. I'm the only malay girl in my class who takes malay language and I'm only close to this chinese girl but recently she seems to have no problem socializing with our classmates. So yeah usually I end up alone but I try not to be bothered by it. I still try to remain happy and greet them and not be sad when they dont answer me.

I realize that my main problem is not being able to express myself well to others and thus it affects my speech inflection. What's your main problem, tensedboy?

And Hitori is right too. While we live, we learn! Ironically that's my school's motto! hahaha:rofl


----------



## reliefseeker

Namida said:


> @tensedboy No problem! What everybody needs here is lots of love from other people. That way, we all realize that we are not alone. And that way we receive moral suppport and strive our hardest to improve on a large scale.
> 
> I can really relate to your stories. Unfortunately I have no effective solutions to these kinds of situations. As we get older, we tend to lose interest from other people easily cos by my age (17 years old) almost everyone has become socially professional and can make friends easily. It's the sad truth. And I also dread break times. Usually after my mother tongue class there'll be a break time. I'm the only malay girl in my class who takes malay language and I'm only close to this chinese girl but recently she seems to have no problem socializing with our classmates. So yeah usually I end up alone but I try not to be bothered by it. I still try to remain happy and greet them and not be sad when they dont answer me.
> 
> I realize that my main problem is not being able to express myself well to others and thus it affects my speech inflection. What's your main problem, tensedboy?


I can't figure out what the exact main problem is, but I know I'm very different from most of my classmates especially when it comes to interests and hobbies.

They enjoy playing popular games like warcraft, counterstrike, they follow trends and whatever that's "in", and also they like to engage in social activities together as well. 
Well as for me, I don't really have any interests that's similar to them, maybe reading online news, forums..and I'm more socially withdrawn as compared to them. 
Maybe this could be a disadvantage for me, because most people would prefer an outgoing person to someone who is withdrawn and quiet.

It's even worse especially if your class is full of those talkative and outgoing people. They would even gladly ostracize people who don't follow what they do.


----------



## DoubleEdged

Woah! I'm back! 

*cue applause*

Disappeared from this forum about two months ago (I think?) and suddenly, the whole is alive again!

So, what have I missed? Clearly, a lot.


----------



## comcom

DoubleEdged said:


> Woah! I'm back!
> 
> *cue applause*
> 
> Disappeared from this forum about two months ago (I think?) and suddenly, the whole is alive again!
> 
> So, what have I missed? Clearly, a lot.


firstly a new sg forum for u to join
http://sganxiety.co.cc/?e7a26600

hush hush, we are keeping it in wraps, so that the SAS main committee donno about this small little sg rebellant protest.

Whispered" WE PROTEST! WE PROTEST! WE PROTEST!"


----------



## cwq

Genuine confidence is a rare gift that we give ourselves. Psychologists say that the only way to achieve it is to be yourself. Role-playing and pretending to be someone you're not, to gain recognition or social acceptance, erodes your confidence because you are constantly afraid that others will discover your pretense and deceptions.

Great Beginnings-Early Impressions

In childhood, you start out with a great deal of confidence and self-assurance. However, if the people in your life and environs are not supportive, but are judgmental and critical, you quickly begin to doubt your worth, lose self-belief, and begin to seek approval by trying to change the parts of your behavior that are targeted by the negativity of others. Being impressionable and vulnerable in youth, your fear of rejection sets in and you seek approval through role-playing; striving to convince others that you think, feel and act as they do, in order to fit in and be accepted.

Where did YOU Go?

Constantly controlling your real feelings and behaviors and repressing them, eventually leads to a build up of stress, unhappiness and anger. These emotions can affect your health and happiness; which is why it is critical to your well-being that you re-connect with yourself, and make a conscious decision to be true to your own feelings, desires, interests and needs.

Asking Yourself Tough Questions

The best way to regain and rebuild confidence is to re-discover the real you and find your self-belief. To do this you have to become aware of your good qualities and traits. Keeping a journal of what you like about yourself is a great first step. Being introspective and really examining your own unique qualities is not easy. Include the observations of people you care about and trust, in your journal. What do your friends and family admire about you and give you praise and encouragement about? Do you get all of your personal validation from external sources? How often do those external sources really bring satisfaction and lasting happiness to your life? Rarely, is how most of us would answer that question. It's time to start finding real reasons to love yourself as you truly are, at this moment in your life.

Creating Confidence

Celebrate your strengths and accept your weaknesses because everyone has both positive and negative attributes. Don't dwell on what you perceive are your failures. Keeping positive is essential. Remember that every person is much more than just the sum of their successes and failures. Life and the human beings in it are complex and unique. Describing anyone as either good or bad, is just an over-simplification of the human condition. Each person has worth and brings all kinds of priceless qualities to this world. You may be a very creative, funny, charming and trustworthy person. Perhaps you are highly educated and have a need to nurture others, and make a difference in the world. When you focus on who you are, and what you do that is well done and valuable, as well as, what you truly enjoy; you begin to be subjective, and find your own authentic-self.

Staying Focused

When you focus your attention on the worthwhile and positive attributes that you possess, without apologizing for what you perceive are your failings and shortcomings; your self-doubt will begin to diminish. Focus on liking "you" and surround yourself with encouraging relationships, as often as possible. Take time every day, just a moment, to remember what you value, and the source of your inspiration, in life.

Confidence Recaptured

Confidence comes into your life when you hold yourself in high regard and project a realistic and positive image that you truly believe in. Getting comfortable with the real you, will be freeing, and will release the anger and frustration you felt when you tried to hide your authentic self. There is a great deal of happiness in life, and when you are true to yourself, happiness and contentment will follow.


----------



## beatlesgirl

Election results disappointing......... Mr Chiam lost... He was a true hero and leader! And Tin Pei Ling... I can only shake my head...


----------



## comcom

beatlesgirl said:


> Election results disappointing......... Mr Chiam lost... He was a true hero and leader! And Tin Pei Ling... I can only shake my head...


ya indeed... george yeo too... 
btw really quite surprised so many ppl talk about politics now. I rmb when i was in sec sch, i was just happy to relax and ignore about the world... not as updated as u beatlesgirl!


----------



## beatlesgirl

Haha, lol! I have utmost respect for Mr Chiam who fought hard for the residents of Potong Pasir despite his health.. It was really sad when I heard he lost Bishan-Toa Payoh..

Anyway guys!!! http://m.facebook.com/PotongPasirPetition?refid=7

There's a petition today at Potong Pasir for a by-election!! Non-residents are welcomed to sign too! Starts at 4 today. Its really heartwarming to see all the residents come together yesterday night and held a peaceful demonstration!!

Please spread to your friends guys!!


----------



## chewren

LOL


----------



## cwq

*Update on me myself and i*

I have applied for the CPR+AED course on 11 june saturday. Yes it took that long due to hectic work shedule but i finally applied.
After this i am aiming for class 2B license and the motorboat license.
Anyone got any interesting courses to recommend me juz let me know ya?
Peace out love you all, hugs n kisses.
Hope i didnt sound too sissy.


----------



## cwq

*Be a teacher*

Can anyone teach me how to cre8 a website?


----------



## otakux

i can teach u. per 2 hour course is $150.


----------



## t0day2day

Hi, anyone tried the psychiatrist at the polyclinic before for treating social anxiety?


----------



## cwq

t0day2day said:


> Hi, anyone tried the psychiatrist at the polyclinic before for treating social anxiety?


yes.


----------



## cwq

otakux said:


> i can teach u. per 2 hour course is $150.


No.


----------



## cwq

All the best for everyone having exams during this time. 加油!


----------



## t0day2day

cwq said:


> yes.


how was it? was it effective or useful?


----------



## cwq

t0day2day said:


> how was it? was it effective or useful?


I suppose it depends on each individuals, what you can get out of it. As far as i am concern, i dnt know better as i cant afford private doctors.
Its an outpatient clinic. The psychiatrist are posted there on a short term peroid of around 3 months before getting posted elsewhere. There is also a psychologist on duty there on a longer peroid.


----------



## otakux

cwq said:


> No.


 u can ask me when u need help


----------



## t0day2day

cwq said:


> I suppose it depends on each individuals, what you can get out of it. As far as i am concern, i dnt know better as i cant afford private doctors.
> Its an outpatient clinic. The psychiatrist are posted there on a short term peroid of around 3 months before getting posted elsewhere. There is also a psychologist on duty there on a longer peroid.


hmm ok, btw which polyclinic did you go to?


----------



## cwq

t0day2day said:


> hmm ok, btw which polyclinic did you go to?


geylang


----------



## chewren

i would like to share the two hypnotherapy files i have bought online 
https://www.fatfreecartpro.com/ecom...f6&pending_reason=none&gajs=&auser=&abeacon=&


----------



## cwq

*Krav maga anyone?*

http://www.fightworksasia.com.sg/krav-maga/

Anyone wanna join me for this, let me know.


----------



## justyn87

Hi, i'm new here, also fr SG

Just like to find out, what anxiety issues does all of you have?


----------



## reliefseeker

justyn87 said:


> Hi, i'm new here, also fr SG
> 
> Just like to find out, what anxiety issues does all of you have?


Hello :wels

I have social anxiety disorder for many years, and most of it comes from the fear of going to school, interacting, meeting people, crowds.....etc...I also have poor self-esteem issues too, and sometimes I couldn't focus well on tasks because of such fear-inducing thoughts. 
how about you?


----------



## justyn87

tensedboy said:


> Hello :wels
> 
> I have social anxiety disorder for many years, and most of it comes from the fear of going to school, interacting, meeting people, crowds.....etc...I also have poor self-esteem issues too, and sometimes I couldn't focus well on tasks because of such fear-inducing thoughts.
> how about you?


i have issues with interacting with people also but had tried to work myself out of it over the years. However, the main problem i have is eating with people. i cant really eat with people in the public especially even with my family.


----------



## otakux

justyn87 said:


> i have issues with interacting with people also but had tried to work myself out of it over the years. However, the main problem i have is eating with people. i cant really eat with people in the public especially even with my family.


Hi, not uncommon, i have the eating problem also. There is another member from sg here also having the issue.


----------



## kimzxc

Anyone having their o levels nowww? I'm having trouble trying to study I feel I was born lazyyyyy TT


----------



## chewren




----------



## justyn87

otakux said:


> Hi, not uncommon, i have the eating problem also. There is another member from sg here also having the issue.


So had any luck improving it already?


----------



## comcom

http://www.iflysingapore.com/
IFLY the only chance we will ever get to fly!!!!!


----------



## cwq

comcom said:


> http://www.iflysingapore.com/
> IFLY the only chance we will ever get to fly!!!!!


Nice! I want go


----------



## cwq

If i arrange for the paintball or any other outing 4th June Sat. Would anyone be interested?


----------



## reliefseeker

cwq said:


> If i arrange for the paintball or any other outing 4th June Sat. Would anyone be interested?


Count me in :yes


----------



## Namida

kimzxc said:


> Anyone having their o levels nowww? I'm having trouble trying to study I feel I was born lazyyyyy TT


Haha. You're not alone at that one! I lazed around during my o lvl year too. I remembered practicing for maths and chemistry but not for my other subjects. Oh and for my social studies too. It's alright. Around this period, I was also lazing ard. Procrastination Ftw! Haha not really..


----------



## chewren

cwq said:


> If i arrange for the paintball or any other outing 4th June Sat. Would anyone be interested?


 Mmeeeee !


----------



## comcom

cwq said:


> If i arrange for the paintball or any other outing 4th June Sat. Would anyone be interested?


me! if another girl is gg as well.


----------



## cwq

Only 4 ppl..


----------



## cwq

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=111832368904276
who going?


----------



## chewren

cwq said:


> http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=111832368904276
> who going?


i'll be going there like everyweek


----------



## chewren

dead thread... where has everyone gone to? probably busy with their studies, work etc ...


----------



## t0day2day

Hi, anyone thought of going to group therapy before?


----------



## justyn87

t0day2day said:


> Hi, anyone thought of going to group therapy before?


Any idea where do they organise such therapy? I dun mind going


----------



## reliefseeker

chewren said:


> dead thread... where has everyone gone to? probably busy with their studies, work etc ...


or they probably recovered and completely forgotten about this group T_T


----------



## mrstar

justyn87 said:


> Any idea where do they organise such therapy? I dun mind going


You mean imh?


----------



## otakux

tensedboy said:


> or they probably recovered and completely forgotten about this group T_T


no la we all still here =.=


----------



## comcom

otakux said:


> no la we all still here =.=


we're all in this together, once we know that we are, we are stars, we see that, we're all in this together.... ...:roll


----------



## joj

Hi all, I'm glad I found this thread. I've been to this board several times before but never posted, and I never knew a relatively active Singapore thread existed. 

I've just been having one of those moments where I feel so very painfully lonely, and reading the posts here has helped a little so I know I'm not alone struggling with all these issues.


----------



## reliefseeker

joj said:


> Hi all, I'm glad I found this thread. I've been to this board several times before but never posted, and I never knew a relatively active Singapore thread existed.
> 
> I've just been having one of those moments where I feel so very painfully lonely, and reading the posts here has helped a little so I know I'm not alone struggling with all these issues.


:wels
Haha same, it took me several months to realize that an SG support group actually exist here.

And if u have the time, do visit the sg group chatroom at http://sganxiety.co.cc/, 
that place is in need of active chatters lol!


----------



## cwq

Welcome onboard, my msn is [email protected]. You can join us on facebook too uf you like.


----------



## Ruination

Hi fellow SG-reans, just arrived on the forum today and stopping by for a visit, glad (or maybe not, LOL) to see that there's actually quite a number here.


----------



## beatlesgirl

Hi guys, what's up??


----------



## reliefseeker

Sometimes I feel horribly depressed to the extent that I try to shorten my life by taking lots of unhealthy food hoping to fall sick one day. :roll
Anyone else do this too?


----------



## joj

Thanks for the welcome everyone. 

Hey tensedboy...i cant do that because unhealthy food makes me feel ill...but i do get depressed to the extent that i think it wouldn't matter if my life were really short.


----------



## otakux

pls join sganxiety.co.cc and leave your contact details there.
come visit us at the chatroom at night.
We have a secret facebook group also. :yes


----------



## lookatthebrightside

Hi! I'm always so anxious in social situations and I just can't relax. Just joined and am glad that I found this post.


----------



## lookatthebrightside

btw is this group still on?


----------



## reliefseeker

lookatthebrightside said:


> btw is this group still on?


Yeah this group is still alive and well just that most of us either lurk around or don't hv the time to post.

also, pls feel free to join the chatroom at the sganxiety website mentioned by otaku, its the only place where our local SA sufferers can relate to each other and stay in touch. it's very helpful :yes


----------



## cwq

Hi fellow brothers and sisters who have found this place, be it newcomers or those who have been around but nvr made youself known, we are still around and have progress beyond this site which may give the impression that this place is dead. Its just that we now have other methods of maintaining contact. We do still come around from time to time so feel free to post ur comments here. If you would like to join our social group just post your interest here and i will get back to you. Subsequently you may add me @ [email protected] msn, just pop in and say hi and i will fill you in the rest.


----------



## chewren

yep , i'm still here! 

when i am anxious, i would tell myself just to stop thinking or doing anything for a moment. it works for me sometimes.


----------



## reliefseeker

Hey hows everyone doing?


----------



## cwq

PSALM 64. 
DON'T BE AFRAID - FEAR GOD!.

"Hear my voice, O God, in my prayer. Preserve my life from fear of the 
enemy." If you ask God to get rid of your enemies, so that you will never 
have another for the rest of your life, it will be a prayer which will never 
be answered. The reason is simple; there will always be enemies. The Bible 
makes it clear that the LAST enemy to be destroyed is death, What David prays 
for in this Psalm is that God would preserve his life from fear of the enemy. 
He did not want to live his life in fear. Don't be afraid - fear God!.
The reference to evil speaking in this psalm indicates a dreadful tumult. 
When human beings are unsure of themselves, they give themselves over to 
saying all sorts of dreadful things. Preelection political cross-fire is a 
classic example of this. The more unsure of themselves people are then the 
worse are their accusations of others. David was conscious of the Flying 
Words. Flying Words can often do more damage than flying arrows - or in our 
day than flying bullets. During the last world war I discovered how 
uncomfortable it was to be in the midst of flying bullets. It was not a 
comfortable situation in any way. But, a wound from a bullet may soon mend 
itself. Wounds from words may last a lifetime. They can rankle the rest of 
your days. A man on his deathbed said to me, "I hope God forgives me, but I 
can never forgive my brother for the things he has said about me!" Two days 
later he was in eternity. He carried his 'word wounds' to the end. We are 
forgiven as we forgive!
thers. Indeed, David knew the danger of flying words. We all need to bridle 
our tongues in certain situations.
Consider the sensitive soul. Vs.1 of this psalm; "Preserve my life from 
fear of the enemy." Preserve me from cowardice. Many a testimony not has been 
given because the person involved has been afraid to speak up in the office, 
or in some work situation. Is that cowardice?. Well, it IS fear.
Preserve me from unmanly behaviour. Deliver me from being too proud to own my 
allegiance to Christ. Let me be proud of being a child of God. Some years 
ago I was working on the staff of a Commercial Radio Station, in charge of 
religious broadcasting. I sat one morning in a production committee, dressed, 
as usual, like everyone else. Some scathing remarks were made about 
Christians. One fellow started in with..."These Born Again Christians..." Oh. 
ho. I thought, "Here we go again." and before he could say any more I said, 
"Hey, I'm one of them!" "Oh", he said, "I'm sorry. I haven't met you. I 
didn't know. I can't say what I was going to say now!" Well, it stopped that 
particular bullet, and made me aware of a silent enemy. In such situations we 
must speak up. We must not fear what men can do to us. *Fear of fear is the 
greatest misery you can ever endure. Most of the things we fear, never 
happen. All that energy, goes to waste because you fear.* The fear of the Lord 
is great JOY.
The psalmist asks God to hide him from the secret counsel of the wicked. 
That is a peculiar prayer. One would think that David would ask, "Let me know 
what they are saying about me." But it is not always good to hear what is 
said about us. It is better to be deaf to it. Hide me from it Lord. Don't let 
me hear what they are saying about me. David uses the word insurrection - 
meaning tumult. His enemies were falling over each other to do evil. Among 
chickens, *if one hen starts pecking another, soon they all join in. Sadly 
this can also be true in human association. If someone taunts you in your 
work place, and you react strongly, they will all do it*. The tumult syndrome 
arises - everyone falling over the others to get at you. In the tumult 
situation David seeks a refuge in God. "Thou wilt hide me."
The sensitive soul is affected by the sinner's speech. The world around us 
is full of SIN SPEECH. "They whet their tongue like a sword." Those who 
employ SIN SPEECH have a sharp wit : telling vocabulary: and bitter speech. 
The way David uses the word 'whet' indicates that they have done it for a 
long time. They keep their weapons sharp. They are always ready to thrust 
in the sharp words which really hurt. "They shoot their arrows; even bitter 
words." They smear their arrows with poison (chalder is the word he uses). 
The damage is done by the poison of biter words. Someone say something really 
sharp to you. You brush it aside. and try to forget it. A few months later 
it comes back quite fresh and stinging bitterly. It is THEN you get an 
insight of what was really meant by what was said. The words are dropped; 
they have been said; it's over; BUT the poison is in your mind. It can fester 
there for a long time if you let it. This is how our enemy works; he poisons 
his arrows.
"They shoot at the perfect in secret". This is mischief by slander and 
stealth to a person of integrity, simplicity, and sincerity. Without warning, 
they shoot at him, with no fear of God in them. This is the enemy's tactic. 
They encourage each other and look for trouble. Deep down in their hearts 
they revel in it.
"BUT GOD SHALL SHOOT AT THEM" The strongest defence against fear is the 
knowledge that God will take up arms for the righteous. The psalmist 
expresses it clearly and peculiarly; "God shall shoot at them with an arrow." 
Note the singular. God only needs one shot. When he strikes, you will know it 
has happened. I have heard people say, "It must be the Lord speaking to me 
all the time." God speaks ONCE. God shoots once. Suddenly they will be 
wounded. "There," says David, "God shoots at them with a sudden arrow! There 
are their wounds."
Time and time again you may suffer outrageous wounds from wicked people. 
Then suddenly, you see what God does. God is still on the throne. He is still 
in control. No man can injure others as much by his wicked speeches, as he 
wounds himself. The more they speak evil of God's people, the more they do 
themselves an injury. With ONE ARROW God smites. David sings, "Their own 
tongues shall fall on them." The Gossip; the backbiter; the slanderer; are 
all dealt with by God, and are left without a friend. In God we trust.
Don't be afraid - Fear God.


----------



## cwq

Losing faith in myself and humanity.


----------



## cotton

im new here.. didnt know that there is a forum for social anxiety.. guess im not alone after all..


----------



## otakux

cotton said:


> im new here.. didnt know that there is a forum for social anxiety.. guess im not alone after all..


dude, join us at sganxiety.co.cc


----------



## reliefseeker

cotton said:


> im new here.. didnt know that there is a forum for social anxiety.. guess im not alone after all..


Hello! :wels
Feel free to post around here, or you can join us for chatting in the sganxiety website as mentioned by otaku, we are usually available at night. 
And do try to stay active too


----------



## reversethecurse

You've got 1 more here,i have been reading this forum for around 2 months and had problems creating an account(the moment i tried to log in i get banned)now finally i am able to log in.


----------



## reliefseeker

Can anyone suggest me what to do for holidays? Or anyone free for an outing, chat? I don't wanna work everyday or stay at home doing nothing other than playing computer all day long.


----------



## reliefseeker

reversethecurse said:


> You've got 1 more here,i have been reading this forum for around 2 months and had problems creating an account(the moment i tried to log in i get banned)now finally i am able to log in.


Harlow!:wel


----------



## awkwardmess

hi, i just joined, and i'm so glad to know that there's a sg support group. i always knew there is something wrong with me, feeling anxious and fearful in many situations. Also have difficulties interacting with people.. 

Finally visited a counsellor recently and he confirmed that I have social anxiety


----------



## reliefseeker

awkwardmess said:


> hi, i just joined, and i'm so glad to know that there's a sg support group. i always knew there is something wrong with me, feeling anxious and fearful in many situations. Also have difficulties interacting with people..
> 
> Finally visited a counsellor recently and he confirmed that I have social anxiety


 Harlo! :wel

You're not alone there, i myself also have problems interacting with people, and because of that i became socially withdrawn, which is why I struggled to make friends in school and then I end up struggling again to find an active support group here (even though there's an sg support group, it isnt active at all)


----------



## Maple

Hi all, I'm new here. I have found out about this forum through the google search engine. I've been battling with this condition since I was 14 yr old. And now I'm 26... I'm jobless for a week now as I need a short break to nurse myself back to better health. But all these while staying at home didn't really help but make me more anxious about my future. I am getting married (chinese customary) next year and all the financial woes on the future expense is making me stressed. I know that this is normal in life and almost everyone has to go through these stages but I've difficulties to handle my personal S.A.D issues. 

I could have get a better job in life (or could have stayed on the previous one but it was a MNC environment, and I encounter a very nasty colleague), I shouldn't have quit polytechnic (regreted my choice...but it was tough to live on anxiety pills almost every day), I thought I could help myself. I thought that the possibilities are endless but as I aged, I realise that alot of things need a price to pay for. That applies to the medication and consultation fees I have to finance for my regular visits to see my family doctor... 

Since I am jobless now, I would probably seek professional psychiatric help through polyclinics and referrals. I have been taking xanax for donkey years but I am tired of relying on this drug... 

I'm often labelled by people as a 'quiet' person but it was a terrible feeling. I cherish the times when I was a carefree and brave lil girl...

I'm feeling very lost now.. I used to have a rather peaceful life between 2006- May 2011 as I had a very good and understanding employer and colleagues. The job paid little but gave me stability and hope. However, me and my colleagues were retrenched due to the company was unable to survive the economic pressure. I have no alternative but to take a risk by advancing my career in a MNC (the salary was good too). I got the job within a few days and I thought I am ready to embrace the challenges but I had panic attacks on the first few days of the new job... I cried every night and had no one else to turn to because I am depressed about this condition. I dare not share it with my fiance as I feel that he would be disappointed and sad. I avoided lunch sessions with my new colleagues and told my superior about my condition and so i have been having my own packed lunch in the office for 2 mths (yes I have eating problems too, i feel tensed and dizzy to be in a big group of ppl)...until I quit the co. I am eager to go back to work and get the same salary in order to provide for my family. And at my current age, I should be drawing a salary above 2k at least... 


@tensedboy:
do u play Dragon Nest? I seek escapism through computer gaming at times.


----------



## reliefseeker

Maple said:


> @tensedboy:
> do u play Dragon Nest? I seek escapism through computer gaming at times.


No, is it fun? Dragon Nest seems very popular out there :0
But at the moment i'm playing fifa online 2 and maple sea(rarely).


----------



## reliefseeker

Hey guys! Do come to the new sganxiety.co.cc chatroom every night! 
We got some exciting surprises in store for u there! =x


----------



## Maple

yah, Dragon nest is very fun. xD

Btw, i tried to sign up an account @ sganxiety but wasn't successful. Any idea whether I shld go through any proper channel? @[email protected]


----------



## reliefseeker

Maple said:


> yah, Dragon nest is very fun. xD
> 
> Btw, i tried to sign up an account @ sganxiety but wasn't successful. Any idea whether I shld go through any proper channel? @[email protected]


oooo I just started playing recently, really don't know how to play lol. 
If u want, u can add my ign which is: "jevery" i think.

Btw, thought u already have an account at sganxiety? Maybe try using other browsers like firefox or ie to access the website, it should work.


----------



## awkwardmess

tensedboy said:


> Harlo! :wel
> 
> You're not alone there, i myself also have problems interacting with people, and because of that i became socially withdrawn, which is why I struggled to make friends in school and then I end up struggling again to find an active support group here (even though there's an sg support group, it isnt active at all)


It'll be great to make the support group active. I'd love to meet people who are experiencing SA too, so at least I won't feel like I'm weird or like the only person who has this problem. I tried talking to my best friend about my anxiety today. Though she is supportive, she can't fully understand how much this problem bothers me because she has not experienced it herself!



tensedboy said:


> Can anyone suggest me what to do for holidays? Or anyone free for an outing, chat? I don't wanna work everyday or stay at home doing nothing other than playing computer all day long.


Go cycling? Or movie outing? At least if you feel awkward, you don't have to talk much while watching movie! Lol~


----------



## otakux

awkwardmess said:


> It'll be great to make the support group active. I'd love to meet people who are experiencing SA too, so at least I won't feel like I'm weird or like the only person who has this problem. I tried talking to my best friend about my anxiety today. Though she is supportive, she can't fully understand how much this problem bothers me because she has not experienced it herself!
> 
> Go cycling? Or movie outing? At least if you feel awkward, you don't have to talk much while watching movie! Lol~


do u have facebook ? join the chatroom in sganxiety.co.cc


----------



## reliefseeker

awkwardmess said:


> Go cycling? Or movie outing? At least if you feel awkward, you don't have to talk much while watching movie! Lol~


Yea, i used to hang out with my friends during secondary school days. But as we seperated from school, we never stay in touch with each other at all, besides, they rather hang out with their friends or gf instead.

I bet if I try to organise an outing here, the outcome will still be the same. Nobody will be interested i guess.

Btw...At least ur friend is supportive. 
If I tell anyone about my condition, they would immediately go "Aiya dont think too much la", or make some stupid jokes about it. That's why i hate to tell anyone about my condition except my doctor or this online group.


----------



## reliefseeker

Anyone up for a chat now?


----------



## awkwardmess

otakux said:


> do u have facebook ? join the chatroom in sganxiety.co.cc


Yup I do have facebook  And i joined the chatroom but haven't seen anyone online yet..


----------



## hermit63

hi everyone


----------



## reliefseeker

hermit63 said:


> hi everyone


Hello!!:wels

All new members, do remember to register at sganxiety.co.cc, 
and also join us for a chat every nite


----------



## GodSaveMe

Maple said:


> Hi all, I'm new here. I have found out about this forum through the google search engine. I've been battling with this condition since I was 14 yr old. And now I'm 26... I'm jobless for a week now as I need a short break to nurse myself back to better health. But all these while staying at home didn't really help but make me more anxious about my future. I am getting married (chinese customary) next year and all the financial woes on the future expense is making me stressed. I know that this is normal in life and almost everyone has to go through these stages but I've difficulties to handle my personal S.A.D issues.
> 
> I could have get a better job in life (or could have stayed on the previous one but it was a MNC environment, and I encounter a very nasty colleague), I shouldn't have quit polytechnic (regreted my choice...but it was tough to live on anxiety pills almost every day), I thought I could help myself. I thought that the possibilities are endless but as I aged, I realise that alot of things need a price to pay for. That applies to the medication and consultation fees I have to finance for my regular visits to see my family doctor...
> 
> Since I am jobless now, I would probably seek professional psychiatric help through polyclinics and referrals. I have been taking xanax for donkey years but I am tired of relying on this drug...
> 
> I'm often labelled by people as a 'quiet' person but it was a terrible feeling. I cherish the times when I was a carefree and brave lil girl...
> 
> I'm feeling very lost now.. I used to have a rather peaceful life between 2006- May 2011 as I had a very good and understanding employer and colleagues. The job paid little but gave me stability and hope. However, me and my colleagues were retrenched due to the company was unable to survive the economic pressure. I have no alternative but to take a risk by advancing my career in a MNC (the salary was good too). I got the job within a few days and I thought I am ready to embrace the challenges but I had panic attacks on the first few days of the new job... I cried every night and had no one else to turn to because I am depressed about this condition. I dare not share it with my fiance as I feel that he would be disappointed and sad. I avoided lunch sessions with my new colleagues and told my superior about my condition and so i have been having my own packed lunch in the office for 2 mths (yes I have eating problems too, i feel tensed and dizzy to be in a big group of ppl)...until I quit the co. I am eager to go back to work and get the same salary in order to provide for my family. And at my current age, I should be drawing a salary above 2k at least...
> 
> @ From GodSaveMe: Hi, I was on Seroxat for >10yrs, since I was 19 yrs old and was prescribed the Xanax abt 2 yrs ago to help me cope with my increased SA problem. But I only take the Xanax when I really need it, coz the effect is fast & great, but the side effects sucks as its causes depression and useless feelings after it wears off. I hv gone through wat u hv gone through, I can really understand & relate to how u feel. The feelings of depressed, WHY ME, anxiousness, heart-pumping nervousness for no reason when some colleagues/friends come towards you, sadness, loneliness, scared, sleeplessness, tensed in a big group of people, I hv felt strongly, its disgusting and really is making me 'handicapped' emotionally and drained of energy at the end of the day. You are not alone, because Im also like you. I hv since stopped the Seroxat & Xanax for several mths now and is trying very hard not to touch these drugs again. But when work stress creeps up, my SA increases too, so Im actually struggling to stay sane! What drugs are u taking now? Stay strong, my dear friend, we can fight SA together, we can meet up too, to share our anxious feelings, so that we may feel better


----------



## cwq

Only sufferers can truly understand the pains and difficulties experienced by SAD ppl. We should encourage and motivate each other.


----------



## reliefseeker

GodSaveMe said:


> @ From GodSaveMe: Hi, I was on Seroxat for >10yrs, since I was 19 yrs old and was prescribed the Xanax abt 2 yrs ago to help me cope with my increased SA problem. But I only take the Xanax when I really need it, coz the effect is fast & great, but the side effects sucks as its causes depression and useless feelings after it wears off. I hv gone through wat u hv gone through, I can really understand & relate to how u feel. The feelings of depressed, WHY ME, anxiousness, heart-pumping nervousness for no reason when some colleagues/friends come towards you, sadness, loneliness, scared, sleeplessness, tensed in a big group of people, I hv felt strongly, its disgusting and really is making me 'handicapped' emotionally and drained of energy at the end of the day. You are not alone, because Im also like you. I hv since stopped the Seroxat & Xanax for several mths now and is trying very hard not to touch these drugs again. But when work stress creeps up, my SA increases too, so Im actually struggling to stay sane! What drugs are u taking now? Stay strong, my dear friend, we can fight SA together, we can meet up too, to share our anxious feelings, so that we may feel better


U guys arent alone too :yes 
Just like u all, my SA started since i was around 14, 15, i'm 20 yo atm. During those days I suffered a lot due to childhood abuse all thanks to those troublemaking arseholes. 
This has affected me a lot and slowly I began to change for the worst.

I remember during that time, for several weeks, I couldn't sleep and keep thinking about how I was being tortured, played by someone yet nobody even helped me to pull through from this bull****. 
The feeling that I get from this is mostly filled with bitterness, anxiety, worthlessness, and insecurity. 
I also used to suffer from different kinds of symptoms such as panic attack, cold sweats, depersonalization, hyperventilation. It lasted for months and luckily, now it's gone.

But its far from over yet, I still have a hard time adjusting my thoughts and feelings in public, at times I'm too tensed to the point of freezing/stoning. and then at times I'm too depressed to do anything at all. 
It's giving me plenty of problems especially in studies, and at one point of time, it forced me to quit poly because I couldn't mix with my classmates and cope with studies.

Well..You know it's bad enough when you flunk in studies and become the worst performing students in class..

but you know it's even worst when you're suffering from SA and yet you couldn't click with anyone in the class..

I guess if anyone were to be me, they would know that I'm in deep sh** at the moment.


----------



## GodSaveMe

tensedboy said:


> U guys arent alone too :yes
> Just like u all, my SA started since i was around 14, 15, i'm 20 yo atm. During those days I suffered a lot due to childhood abuse all thanks to those troublemaking arseholes.
> This has affected me a lot and slowly I began to change for the worst.
> 
> I remember during that time, for several weeks, I couldn't sleep and keep thinking about how I was being tortured, played by someone yet nobody even helped me to pull through from this bull****.
> The feeling that I get from this is mostly filled with bitterness, anxiety, worthlessness, and insecurity.
> I also used to suffer from different kinds of symptoms such as panic attack, cold sweats, depersonalization, hyperventilation. It lasted for months and luckily, now it's gone.
> 
> But its far from over yet, I still have a hard time adjusting my thoughts and feelings in public, at times I'm too tensed to the point of freezing/stoning. and then at times I'm too depressed to do anything at all.
> It's giving me plenty of problems especially in studies, and at one point of time, it forced me to quit poly because I couldn't mix with my classmates and cope with studies.
> 
> Well..You know it's bad enough when you flunk in studies and become the worst performing students in class..
> 
> but you know it's even worst when you're suffering from SA and yet you couldn't click with anyone in the class..
> 
> I guess if anyone were to be me, they would know that I'm in deep sh** at the moment.


Sg time: 145pm: 20.9.11: ya it really sucks hving irrational nervous feelings for no reason, im really glad that we tis SA forum that we can voice out. Im in office now, after lunch, suddenly I feel nervous now, coz Im scared of meeting 2 colleagues who may come to visit us now. I dont like them coz they are our 'bosses', whenever I talk to them I will become tensed so much that i cant smile or talk properly and i kept on swallowing saliva. They knows my hostility by now, so we hardly talk, they know i meant no harm. Im scared of people with higher authority, because i dont know how to engage in small talks, I get nervous whenever I see people in the eyes, so over years I hv become a quiet person. SA, pls dont torture me ANYMORE!


----------



## reliefseeker

Anyone interested in this?
http://www.groupon.sg/deals/deals-n...15861170?nlp&CID=SG_CRM_1_0_0_262&a=715827986

or this
http://www.groupon.sg/

So far 5 ppl here r going, please pm me asap if ur interested.


----------



## reliefseeker

tensedboy said:


> All new members, do remember to register at sganxiety.co.cc,
> and also join us for a chat every nite


Link changed to http://sas.daojia888.com/ 
or use the chatroom at http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/123flashchat.php (Room 3) 
if the new link does not work
please take note


----------



## GodSaveMe

t0day2day said:


> Hi, anyone tried the psychiatrist at the polyclinic before for treating social anxiety?


Yes, when I was 20 yrs old still an undergrad, I got a referral ltr fr polyclinic to see psychiatrist for social phobia in nuh, this way the medical fees and drugs are cheaper.


----------



## GodSaveMe

otakux said:


> Hi, not uncommon, i have the eating problem also. There is another member from sg here also having the issue.


Ur not alone, I hv eating problem in the public and till now I always lunch alone, coz Im nervous eating face-to-face with people, coz I am scare that people will look at me in the face, and they will end up wondering why I keep on swallowing saliva and so tensed just over a simple lunch. Im very poor thing right?


----------



## reliefseeker

GodSaveMe said:


> I got a referral ltr fr polyclinic to see psychiatrist for social phobia in nuh, this way the medical fees and drugs are cheaper.


Same, but i'm under appointment at khoo teck puat hospital though.

Somehow i tink its just a waste of money seeing a psychiatrist, because they only monitor your condition, prescribe drugs...They didn't teach u how to deal with sa. 
Today I just spent $24 dollar on the appointment fees, but the consultation with psychiatrist only last less than 5 mins =/

Btw do u hv fb?


----------



## otakux

GodSaveMe said:


> Ur not alone, I hv eating problem in the public and till now I always lunch alone, coz Im nervous eating face-to-face with people, coz I am scare that people will look at me in the face, and they will end up wondering why I keep on swallowing saliva and so tensed just over a simple lunch. Im very poor thing right?


haha exactly, i know how u feel.


----------



## cwq

why cant we be each other's friend?


----------



## GodSaveMe

tensedboy said:


> Same, but i'm under appointment at khoo teck puat hospital though.
> 
> Somehow i tink its just a waste of money seeing a psychiatrist, because they only monitor your condition, prescribe drugs...They didn't teach u how to deal with sa.
> Today I just spent $24 dollar on the appointment fees, but the consultation with psychiatrist only last less than 5 mins =/
> 
> Btw do u hv fb?


wats fb leh?


----------



## reliefseeker

tensedboy said:


> Same, but i'm under appointment at khoo teck puat hospital though.
> 
> Somehow i tink its just a waste of money seeing a psychiatrist, because they only monitor your condition, prescribe drugs...They didn't teach u how to deal with sa.
> Today I just spent $24 dollar on the appointment fees, but the consultation with psychiatrist only last less than 5 mins =/
> 
> Btw do u hv fb?





GodSaveMe said:


> wats fb leh?


lol fb stands for facebook, 
if u hv one, do pm me the link, i go and add u


----------



## GodSaveMe

otakux, Im glad that Im not the only one feeling tensed eating with people, at least I dont feel so abnormal now


----------



## GodSaveMe

wah but i got SA, so got phobia letting people know who I am...give me more time to open up, will give u my fb when Im ready hor


----------



## reliefseeker

GodSaveMe said:


> wah but i got SA, so got phobia letting people know who I am...give me more time to open up, will give u my fb when Im ready hor


Just wanna let u know that there's a fb sas support group where there will be outings, meetings organized and so on.
If u are keen to join, do let me know ur fb through pm(personal message), so that i can add and invite u into the group. 
Or take ur time if u want


----------



## reliefseeker

Sighs..its hard to stay in contact with some of the people here, 
most of the time they reply this thread and disappeared to nowhere...

This is the reason why I suggest we exchange msn, facebook so that we can communicate easily, instead of waiting for each other's reply all day long.


----------



## GodSaveMe

tensedboy said:


> Sighs..its hard to stay in contact with some of the people here,
> most of the time they reply this thread and disappeared to nowhere...
> 
> This is the reason why I suggest we exchange msn, facebook so that we can communicate easily, instead of waiting for each other's reply all day long.


Do u all exchange hp no.s? Actually Im quite keen to meet up for a simple sharing session, so that we can share our anxiety and feel better together. TGIF.


----------



## cwq

GodSaveMe said:


> Do u all exchange hp no.s? Actually Im quite keen to meet up for a simple sharing session, so that we can share our anxiety and feel better together. TGIF.


Yes you can have my hp number - 93707125, Facebook - [email protected]


----------



## reliefseeker

GodSaveMe said:


> Do u all exchange hp no.s? Actually Im quite keen to meet up for a simple sharing session, so that we can share our anxiety and feel better together. TGIF.


-


----------



## GodSaveMe

cwq & tensedboy, saved ur hp nos in my hp liao, will try to muster enough courage to sms u all soon


----------



## g0800276

Hi guys, I am a Chinese who suffered from SA. I am 27 and currently studying in Singapore. In the last 10 weeks I started Dr. Richard's audio tape series trying to get rid of this death-like disease. So far nothing wonderful coming out, but I do know much better about what SA is and possible ways to alleviate the symptom. However, still I need more connections with people, especially those who also suffered with SA so that we can truly understand each other without any weird feelings.

So, would you mind to make one more friend who is a harmless Chinese in Singapore? Please feel free to add me at MSN [email protected], or write me at [email protected]. Also I am really look forward to some outdoor activities to practice my social skills and get my life right again.


----------



## cwq

g0800276 said:


> Hi guys, I am a Chinese who suffered from SA. I am 27 and currently studying in Singapore. In the last 10 weeks I started Dr. Richard's audio tape series trying to get rid of this death-like disease. So far nothing wonderful coming out, but I do know much better about what SA is and possible ways to alleviate the symptom. However, still I need more connections with people, especially those who also suffered with SA so that we can truly understand each other without any weird feelings.
> 
> So, would you mind to make one more friend who is a harmless Chinese in Singapore? Please feel free to add me at MSN [email protected], or write me at [email protected]. Also I am really look forward to some outdoor activities to practice my social skills and get my life right again.


Hi, I am Patrick and i am always game for another friend. I have added you on MSN. Cheers =)


----------



## cwq

GodSaveMe said:


> cwq & tensedboy, saved ur hp nos in my hp liao, will try to muster enough courage to sms u all soon


Cheers. Just say hi and i will do the rest, whenever you are ready.


----------



## cwq

I have more or less come to terms with my social anxiety, i have somewhat accepted that this is my personality at the moment. It doesnt make me any lesser of a person than the person next to me who have his own particular personality which might not be deem entirely good. Nobody is perfect, this applies to everyone. We all have our individual's strength and weakness. You need not hold others at high regards, they are no better than you. Do not give attention to your social anxiety and it will gradually loosen its grip on you, focus instead on making the best out of your life. Its not ez to overcome our fears but theres no other way about it, we have to face it. Try and never give up. Peace be with all of you.


----------



## cwq

Reduce your social anxiety with exercise. Regular exercise can brighten your mood, reduce anxious thoughts and decrease the physical symptoms.

It’s believed there are a range of reasons why exercise relieves anxiety and chases away the black clouds of depression:

■Distraction - focusing your thoughts on hitting a tennis ball or running around an open manhole prevents you from mulling over your last (probably incorrectly perceived) social calamity. Anxiety is driven by negative thinking. So using your brain more constructively can give your emotions a welcome break.
■Biological - exercise safely releases stored up adrenaline, which is what causes you to sweat or feel sick when you’re anxious. This means you’ll feel more relaxed and less on edge after you’ve finished your run.
■Strengthens your heart - your heart is a muscle and making it stronger will help it perform better in stressful situations. As your heart strengthens, from regular exercise, it’s less likely to start hammering in your chest in anxious situations.
■Improves your mood - the increased blood flow to your brain causes mood enhancing ‘endorphins’ to be released. Endorphins are feel good hormones, and when they’re freed they can brighten your mood and evaporate gloomy thoughts.
■Self esteem boost - just knowing that you’re doing something practical to relieve your anxiety, rather than feeling miserable in bed, will make you feel better about yourself. Regular exercise will make you feel fitter, stronger and give you a much needed boost to your self esteem

Lying in bed mulling over your latest (perceived) mishaps is only going to make you feel miserable and think the world is an unfriendly place. To break out of the pattern of hiding at home, you need to pursue activities that will give you a sense of accomplishment and give your mind healthier stimulation. Exercise can make you feel better about yourself and will also give you fulfilling goals to pursue, such as improving your golf swing or being able to jog further.


----------



## cwq

If you suffer from social anxiety then the fear of what people think can sometimes be overwhelming. Simple activities like walking into a crowded room or sitting near a group of strangers can be enough to set off your alarm bells and cause you to panic. Because you're convinced people are judging you and talking about you. In the worst case scenario you might hear someone laugh, which of course you think is aimed at you.
If this sounds familiar then you're not alone. Literally millions of people around the world suffer from social anxiety and panic in uncomfortable situations. It's estimated that 10% will suffer social anxiety at some stage in their life.
*Why do I suffer anxiety and fear of strangers?*

There are believed to be a few reasons why you might have developed social anxiety and the fear of people you don't know. The main causes are believed to be rooted in your childhood: growing up with anxious or overly critical parents; or bullied or neglected as a child.
The low self esteem these experiences can cause can mean that you're always looking to win the approval of others. This in turn makes you feel anxious because you're constantly worrying about what people think and whether they'll reject you.
*Can social anxiety be overcome?*

Social anxiety is believed to be the third most common psychiatric disorder, after depression and alcoholism, and in recent years extensive studies have been conducted into its causes and effects. With a diagnosis comes treatment, and thousands of people have learned to overcome their anxiety and panic through a combination of:

cognitive behavioural therapy (which teaches you how to replace your uncomfortable thoughts with more helpful ways of thinking)
exercise
relaxation techniques
being more active
medication (a magic bullet doesn't exist for social anxiety. But a doctor can prescribe drugs that will take the edge off your sense of panic in social situations to help you change the way you think and behave and overcome your anxiety in the long term)


----------



## GodSaveMe

g0800276 said:


> Hi guys, I am a Chinese who suffered from SA. I am 27 and currently studying in Singapore. In the last 10 weeks I started Dr. Richard's audio tape series trying to get rid of this death-like disease. So far nothing wonderful coming out, but I do know much better about what SA is and possible ways to alleviate the symptom. However, still I need more connections with people, especially those who also suffered with SA so that we can truly understand each other without any weird feelings.
> 
> So, would you mind to make one more friend who is a harmless Chinese in Singapore? Please feel free to add me at MSN [email protected], or write me at [email protected]. Also I am really look forward to some outdoor activities to practice my social skills and get my life right again.


Hi g0800276, where do u get this Dr. Richard's audio tape series ? I like to try it too :yes


----------



## g0800276

GodSaveMe said:


> Hi g0800276, where do u get this Dr. Richard's audio tape series ? I like to try it too :yes


Hi GodSaveMe, the link for downloading can be found within the thread. Also you can add my MSN account and I pass it to you [email protected]


----------



## GodSaveMe

g0800276 said:


> Hi GodSaveMe, the link for downloading can be found within the thread. Also you can add my MSN account and I pass it to you [email protected]


ok added u already...


----------



## g0800276

GodSaveMe said:


> ok added u already...


thank you :yes


----------



## reliefseeker

SA outing on the beginning of Oct.
Time: Evening.
Activities: Movies/Strolling/Chit-chat/Dinner. *Don't worry, we won't force u to talk/participate, as most of us will do the talking so that you wont feel awkward*
Venue: TBA
Ppl attending/possibly attending: otaku, me, chewren, comcom.

Anyone else keen to go? 
This is your chance to make new friends who can relate well to each other, practice your social skills, and get some good exposure as well. You definitely wont regret going.

_*Do note that the outing will be cancelled if we are unable to collect enough responses. And btw I'm not the event organiser.*_


----------



## inteljen

*HI, i new here!!*

hello, i looking for a social anxiety support grp to join in here in singapore.. haha.. hope i can find one around my age group too >35 )


----------



## reliefseeker

inteljen said:


> hello, i looking for a social anxiety support grp to join in here in singapore.. haha.. hope i can find one around my age group too >35 )


Hi, there are a few ppl here in their 30s like, cwq, godsaveme, yuanhuang..... 

u can also find them in the chatroom @ http://sas.daojia888.com/ although they dont appear often.

Anyone else interested in the outing?


----------



## cwq

I can only go for day events(11am-5pm), i need to leave at 5pm.

I am very keen for outings so long as the above condition is met. i can go anywhere and everywhere with you.


----------



## GodSaveMe

inteljen said:


> hello, i looking for a social anxiety support grp to join in here in singapore.. haha.. hope i can find one around my age group too >35 )


Hi inteljen, Im 34 also a social anxiety(SA) sufferer, Im struggling to keep myself happy, lets fight SA together, so that we can control our own life! :yes


----------



## cwq

I am 34 yo and still growing younger everyday ;-)


----------



## otakux

cwq said:


> I am 34 yo and still growing younger everyday ;-)


i "LIKE"


----------



## Jui

Hello,

I am Jui, 24 yrs old.
Yest i just see a doctor. I was refer to IMH for psychiatrist treatment. I scare ppl may look down on me. 

I hope i m not crazy i got a fren whom i tout is close to she say i m crazy! n then cyber bully me. i feel so depress

I been having trouble communicating with people. I keep isolate myself nowadays.


----------



## reliefseeker

Jui said:


> Hello,
> 
> I am Jui, 24 yrs old.
> Yest i just see a doctor. I was refer to IMH for psychiatrist treatment. I scare ppl may look down on me.
> 
> I hope i m not crazy i got a fren whom i tout is close to she say i m crazy! n then cyber bully me. i feel so depress
> 
> I been having trouble communicating with people. I keep isolate myself nowadays.


Hi Jui :wel

Just wanna let u know that u arent alone here. I have been suffering from SA and depression since 5,6 years back, it has affected me socially and academically. I have been neglected and ostracized by people no matter how I tried to care, so I decided to shut myself out from this world too.

But good thing we found each other here, guess we aren't the only ones suffering alone...
Perhaps we can be friends and fight this disease together? :yes

You can contact me at [email protected], we can have a chat someday..


----------



## samuel89

Im samuel, 22 now,after my grandmother pass away, i feel no meaning in my life at all. for the pass 5years . i feel sad that im unable to return what my grandmother given me, she was like my only family , after she pass away , i feel no one i can be trusted on, and so i have no friend at all. My life is like stopped on 5years ago, all dream, hope seen to be ended for me from that point .

i having some problem now , im not sure if i needed to see a doctor or not...
almost 6months i have never went out of my house, i feel vey uneasy and normal when im in a place where there alot of people. because of this problem i drop out from school, anyone can help me? add me at [email protected] ... need some tips to moving on in my life....


----------



## Jui

tensedboy said:


> Hi Jui :wel
> 
> Just wanna let u know that u arent alone here. I have been suffering from SA and depression since 5,6 years back, it has affected me socially and academically. I have been neglected and ostracized by people no matter how I tried to care, so I decided to shut myself out from this world too.
> 
> But good thing we found each other here, guess we aren't the only ones suffering alone...
> Perhaps we can be friends and fight this disease together? :yes
> 
> You can contact me at [email protected], we can have a chat someday..


Actually I been depress for 4-5 yrs until 2 days ago I break down terribly when my part time school start new sem again.
I been crying this few days thinking of alot of issue friendship, relationship, health, sch n work. 
N a fren keep insulting me saying me psycho n paranoid n crazy even when I keep quiet all the way. Which make me so down. Was looking at how 
much it cost to see psychiatrist n came across here. I hate my life n scare I may do anything which I can't control.
Can add me at [email protected]
Hopefully I rem correctly. I just end my work.
Really nice knowing u all here.


----------



## reliefseeker

Jui said:


> Actually I been depress for 4-5 yrs until 2 days ago I break down terribly when my part time school start new sem again.
> I been crying this few days thinking of alot of issue friendship, relationship, health, sch n work.
> N a fren keep insulting me saying me psycho n paranoid n crazy even when I keep quiet all the way. Which make me so down. Was looking at how
> much it cost to see psychiatrist n came across here. I hate my life n scare I may do anything which I can't control.
> Can add me at [email protected]
> Hopefully I rem correctly. I just end my work.
> Really nice knowing u all here.


Those people who label u as psycho, paranoid, crazy..They are just being shallow and childish. U shouldn't regard them as friends, they don't deserve to be treated seriously since they don't treat u the same as well. 
I suppose u should start looking for friends who supports you even when you're down, not criticizing you like that.

Even I myself have yet to find one....Which is why I'm looking for websites like this. 
Anyway I've added u le. Hope to see u online soon


----------



## reliefseeker

Just a reminder for all the newcomers, there's a chatroom available at
http://sas.daojia888.com/
Just sign up, and then join us for a chat every evening/night! We need active chatters there:yes


----------



## Jui

tensedboy said:


> Those people who label u as psycho, paranoid, crazy..They are just being shallow and childish. U shouldn't regard them as friends, they don't deserve to be treated seriously since they don't treat u the same as well.
> I suppose u should start looking for friends who supports you even when you're down, not criticizing you like that.
> 
> Even I myself have yet to find one....Which is why I'm looking for websites like this.
> Anyway I've added u le. Hope to see u online soon


I noe but I can't let go. Bec of tis I hav bad temper or i don noe is i force ppl to leave me. Tats y even my best close friend leave me.
Btw sorry mistake my email is
[email protected]
Sorry I keep forgetting got - or _ cos always auto login.
if don mind can add me again??


----------



## reliefseeker

Jui said:


> I noe but I can't let go. Bec of tis I hav bad temper or i don noe is i force ppl to leave me. Tats y even my best close friend leave me.
> Btw sorry mistake my email is
> [email protected]
> Sorry I keep forgetting got - or _ cos always auto login.
> if don mind can add me again??


Oh okay, added


----------



## chewren

When you Bottle up emotions, it can causes anger and anxiety even if you are a calm person, so It is important that you release your emotions the healthy way .


----------



## WonderSotong

Hi all,

Some of you already know me. Some don't. Been silently reading this thread cos my other username was banned for some unknown reason.

I could do with making some new friends now, as I am dealing with a particularly difficult time in my life right now, so feel free to PM me.

I'm 26/f btw.

Hope to hear from you!


----------



## GodSaveMe

Hi tensedboy, it was nice to meet up with u that tues evening, as we managed to share our anxiety feelings and emotions, its really feels good that we all hv one another in this forum to look out for, in times of sadness, nervousness and unhappiness. It will be good mental healing for all of us, if we can meet up again


----------



## GodSaveMe

Jui said:


> Actually I been depress for 4-5 yrs until 2 days ago I break down terribly when my part time school start new sem again.
> I been crying this few days thinking of alot of issue friendship, relationship, health, sch n work.
> N a fren keep insulting me saying me psycho n paranoid n crazy even when I keep quiet all the way. Which make me so down. Was looking at how
> much it cost to see psychiatrist n came across here. I hate my life n scare I may do anything which I can't control.
> Can add me at [email protected]
> Hopefully I rem correctly. I just end my work.
> Really nice knowing u all here.


Hi Jui, u can get subsidised psychiatrist medical consultation rate and medicine by getting a referral letter from polyclinic. Try to avoid that person who insulted you,then u wont feel so disturbed by that person. I hv SA too, I can feel for you, as I was also having a lot of anxiety struggling to find friend during my school days too, I was often lonely, studied and ate alone, coz Im always nervous when I see sch friends. Let me know shld u need someone to talk to, we can relate to each other & feel better.


----------



## reliefseeker

GodSaveMe said:


> Hi tensedboy, it was nice to meet up with u that tues evening, as we managed to share our anxiety feelings and emotions, its really feels good that we all hv one another in this forum to look out for, in times of sadness, nervousness and unhappiness. It will be good mental healing for all of us, if we can meet up again


Agree ^^
Although SA got the better of me sometimes, the meet-up is a good experience and worth it


----------



## GodSaveMe

samuel89 said:


> Im samuel, 22 now,after my grandmother pass away, i feel no meaning in my life at all. for the pass 5years . i feel sad that im unable to return what my grandmother given me, she was like my only family , after she pass away , i feel no one i can be trusted on, and so i have no friend at all. My life is like stopped on 5years ago, all dream, hope seen to be ended for me from that point .
> 
> i having some problem now , im not sure if i needed to see a doctor or not...
> almost 6months i have never went out of my house, i feel vey uneasy and normal when im in a place where there alot of people. because of this problem i drop out from school, anyone can help me? add me at [email protected] ... need some tips to moving on in my life....


Hi Samuel89, I know its very depressing to lose your loved one, but after some time of struggling with the painful lost, you must tell yourself to move on with life. U r still so young, dont waste it away with SA. Find alternative support in life, like your other family members and definitely from US. We r all in the same boat: SA sufferers, we can be your friends, because we need u to be our friends too. Let us support one another emotionally. With support, we will live better, because there is hope in this world for us.


----------



## chewren

deal with your problems in a positive way,
but don't just put them in the back of your head.
deal with them no matter how little,
just some way deal with it, just say it or express yourself.


----------



## samuel89

Hi, thank all for your support.


----------



## reliefseeker

Nice outing last night, thanks to comcom, chewren, awkwardness, otakux.
Hope to see more of these events often


----------



## reliefseeker

Anyone else have this problem of wanting to talk to someone but couldn't find anything to say at all? 
This has been bugging me for ages, it keeps me from socializing with people and I've never made any close friends. Sighs.....


----------



## t0day2day

Jui said:


> Hello,
> 
> I am Jui, 24 yrs old.
> Yest i just see a doctor. I was refer to IMH for psychiatrist treatment. I scare ppl may look down on me.
> 
> I hope i m not crazy i got a fren whom i tout is close to she say i m crazy! n then cyber bully me. i feel so depress
> 
> I been having trouble communicating with people. I keep isolate myself nowadays.


You know one interesting thing, I recently went to IMH to walk around to take a look at that place to see what it is really like because I have never been there before in my life but only heard about it since young and I realized it wasn't really that bad at all, I mean in a way growing up we always picture in our heads that IMH or woodbridge hospital it was named in the past was a "mad people hospital" and it had a certain kind of image, but after seeing it for real at the common areas like the foodcourt and 1st floor it actually looks just like a normal hospital, and it is very new and modern too, if you don't say I won't even know it was a mental hospital, it looks more normal nowadays than in the past, I saw the people working there the nurses and some medical staffs in the foodcourt and common area and they look very professional and to me at that time it feels even better in a way than going to a polyclinic because it was newer, abit like going to some other hospital like TTSH or SGH like that, maybe people should go there to take a look to change their opinions of that place sometime, I think it is no longer a place mainly for severe mental illness like schizophrenic like the movies we sometimes see, but also for more "softer" or more normal looking illness like sa and depression..etc that are not easily seen outwardly by people because we dress normally and appear quite normal on the outside and don't tear our hair out etc (just kidding), I think it is the people that need to change their opinion of IMH, not the people that goes there for treatment, but the people of the general public that needs to change their opinion of that place


----------



## t0day2day

Btw do any of you guys go to youtube to see the sa videos there too? Do you have any "favourite" ones? I was surprised when I started seeing them last year and saw some sa people were actually quite cool looking too, they could almost be our sa celebrities

http://www.youtube.com/user/JaneyfromKorea
but she took down her videos recently already though, but can still check out her channel for future updates if any

http://www.youtube.com/user/BulletProofMonkeon
he almost looks like elvis presley, I almost couldn't believe he was a sa sufferer too

http://www.youtube.com/MrShyAndTimid
updated regularly

http://www.youtube.com/user/Joe1978Meh#g/c/1ABFDDFF9C85C2F8
I like what he says, it sounds pretty much like how I feel


----------



## GodSaveMe

tensedboy said:


> Nice outing last night, thanks to comcom, chewren, awkwardness, otakux.
> Hope to see more of these events often


wow u all got outing, where did u all go, what u all do?


----------



## reliefseeker

GodSaveMe said:


> wow u all got outing, where did u all go, what u all do?


We went to the Halloween "Journey of vengeance" event at the bukit brown cemetery 
after that we head back to bishan....then we ate, chit-chat at the junction 8 there. :yes


----------



## GodSaveMe

tensedboy said:


> We went to the Halloween "Journey of vengeance" event at the bukit brown cemetery
> after that we head back to bishan....then we ate, chit-chat at the junction 8 there. :yes


OIC, thats nice :yes


----------



## reliefseeker

Sighs...nobody ever come to the chatroom nowadays.:afr


----------



## cwq

Hear ye! Hear ye!
To encourage more people to the chatroom
We are implementing a reward system
Besides the usual tender loving care you get when you come to the chatroom
Anyone who log in for 3 straight days is entitled to(choose one):
1. Unlimited supply of fresh air & Sunny days
2. Free daily well wishing & joke of the day for a week
3. Jeffery will sing a song of your choice thru phone or webcam
4. A cute adorable bear bear made of old newspaper

Participant will also automatically be entered in a monthly lucky draw and stand a chance to win a free lunch worth $30.


----------



## Maple

cwq said:


> If you suffer from social anxiety then the fear of what people think can sometimes be overwhelming. Simple activities like walking into a crowded room or sitting near a group of strangers can be enough to set off your alarm bells and cause you to panic. Because you're convinced people are judging you and talking about you. In the worst case scenario you might hear someone laugh, which of course you think is aimed at you.
> If this sounds familiar then you're not alone. Literally millions of people around the world suffer from social anxiety and panic in uncomfortable situations. It's estimated that 10% will suffer social anxiety at some stage in their life.
> *Why do I suffer anxiety and fear of strangers?*
> 
> There are believed to be a few reasons why you might have developed social anxiety and the fear of people you don't know. The main causes are believed to be rooted in your childhood: growing up with anxious or overly critical parents; or bullied or neglected as a child.
> The low self esteem these experiences can cause can mean that you're always looking to win the approval of others. This in turn makes you feel anxious because you're constantly worrying about what people think and whether they'll reject you.
> *Can social anxiety be overcome?*
> 
> Social anxiety is believed to be the third most common psychiatric disorder, after depression and alcoholism, and in recent years extensive studies have been conducted into its causes and effects. With a diagnosis comes treatment, and thousands of people have learned to overcome their anxiety and panic through a combination of:
> 
> cognitive behavioural therapy (which teaches you how to replace your uncomfortable thoughts with more helpful ways of thinking)
> exercise
> relaxation techniques
> being more active
> medication (a magic bullet doesn't exist for social anxiety. But a doctor can prescribe drugs that will take the edge off your sense of panic in social situations to help you change the way you think and behave and overcome your anxiety in the long term)


This is so true for many cases (including myself). My parents were behaving like that when I was young...

@anyone reading this:

By the way this is my 2nd post since my previous post in September.. I'm ok for meet-up after a few months later (and knowing more bout the forumers).

I'm currently working at my relative's co. I'm undergoing some depression from time to time as I know very VERY well that it isn't the job that has prospect nor I would enjoy (filing, data entry, checking of details). Lunch can be packed and eat in office (as almost everyone does). The anxiety feeling has decreased alot as compared to the time when I was working in a MNC. The reason that I want to hang on to this job is because I have thought of studying a part-time diploma.

However, I got a job offer a few days ago (due to the interviews I had attended during September) and it is a customer service postion in a high profile company. I'm enticed by the prospects (disadvantage: their staff benefits isn't really good). I'm also advised by the interviewer that this is a very busy job but I would be rewarded (slight increment after 3 mths probation) if I perform well. They are offering the same salary as my relative's co as of now... But transportation and eating expenses will be increased alot since it is in Shenton. -_-;; I can save alot of $$ if I work at my current coy.

Haih confused.... I feel like this is a place to vent my random thoughts as I have no where else to turn to..


----------



## Maple

GodSaveMe said:


> Maple said:
> 
> 
> 
> Hi all, I'm new here. I have found out about this forum through the google search engine. I've been battling with this condition since I was 14 yr old. And now I'm 26... I'm jobless for a week now as I need a short break to nurse myself back to better health. But all these while staying at home didn't really help but make me more anxious about my future. I am getting married (chinese customary) next year and all the financial woes on the future expense is making me stressed. I know that this is normal in life and almost everyone has to go through these stages but I've difficulties to handle my personal S.A.D issues.
> 
> I could have get a better job in life (or could have stayed on the previous one but it was a MNC environment, and I encounter a very nasty colleague), I shouldn't have quit polytechnic (regreted my choice...but it was tough to live on anxiety pills almost every day), I thought I could help myself. I thought that the possibilities are endless but as I aged, I realise that alot of things need a price to pay for. That applies to the medication and consultation fees I have to finance for my regular visits to see my family doctor...
> 
> Since I am jobless now, I would probably seek professional psychiatric help through polyclinics and referrals. I have been taking xanax for donkey years but I am tired of relying on this drug...
> 
> I'm often labelled by people as a 'quiet' person but it was a terrible feeling. I cherish the times when I was a carefree and brave lil girl...
> 
> I'm feeling very lost now.. I used to have a rather peaceful life between 2006- May 2011 as I had a very good and understanding employer and colleagues. The job paid little but gave me stability and hope. However, me and my colleagues were retrenched due to the company was unable to survive the economic pressure. I have no alternative but to take a risk by advancing my career in a MNC (the salary was good too). I got the job within a few days and I thought I am ready to embrace the challenges but I had panic attacks on the first few days of the new job... I cried every night and had no one else to turn to because I am depressed about this condition. I dare not share it with my fiance as I feel that he would be disappointed and sad. I avoided lunch sessions with my new colleagues and told my superior about my condition and so i have been having my own packed lunch in the office for 2 mths (yes I have eating problems too, i feel tensed and dizzy to be in a big group of ppl)...until I quit the co. I am eager to go back to work and get the same salary in order to provide for my family. And at my current age, I should be drawing a salary above 2k at least...
> 
> @ From GodSaveMe: Hi, I was on Seroxat for >10yrs, since I was 19 yrs old and was prescribed the Xanax abt 2 yrs ago to help me cope with my increased SA problem. But I only take the Xanax when I really need it, coz the effect is fast & great, but the side effects sucks as its causes depression and useless feelings after it wears off. I hv gone through wat u hv gone through, I can really understand & relate to how u feel. The feelings of depressed, WHY ME, anxiousness, heart-pumping nervousness for no reason when some colleagues/friends come towards you, sadness, loneliness, scared, sleeplessness, tensed in a big group of people, I hv felt strongly, its disgusting and really is making me 'handicapped' emotionally and drained of energy at the end of the day. You are not alone, because Im also like you. I hv since stopped the Seroxat & Xanax for several mths now and is trying very hard not to touch these drugs again. But when work stress creeps up, my SA increases too, so Im actually struggling to stay sane! What drugs are u taking now? Stay strong, my dear friend, we can fight SA together, we can meet up too, to share our anxious feelings, so that we may feel better
> 
> 
> 
> Hihi, sorry for the late reply. I'm the oppesite as you, I actually prefer to resort to xanax before I attend any class gathering or meet-ups with frens or lunch sessions with colleagues whom I felt tensed with, Japanese language classes too... haixxx @[email protected] I'm ok with the idea of meeting up, but prolly a few mths later after knowing each other better?
> 
> What are yr hobbies..??
Click to expand...


----------



## reliefseeker

*SAS outing*

Outing on next Wednesday(Public holiday)
Those who going/possibly going: Chewren, Otakux, Awkwardness, Comcom

Who wants to come and get to know new friends?

*New members are encouraged to join!*

Interested ones please leave ur email/contact details here or u can reach me @ 97533539


----------



## chewren

t0day2day said:


> Btw do any of you guys go to youtube to see the sa videos there too? Do you have any "favourite" ones? I was surprised when I started seeing them last year and saw some sa people were actually quite cool looking too, they could almost be our sa celebrities
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/user/JaneyfromKorea
> but she took down her videos recently already though, but can still check out her channel for future updates if any
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/user/BulletProofMonkeon
> he almost looks like elvis presley, I almost couldn't believe he was a sa sufferer too
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/MrShyAndTimid
> updated regularly
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/user/Joe1978Meh#g/c/1ABFDDFF9C85C2F8
> I like what he says, it sounds pretty much like how I feel


add to list:http://www.youtube.com/nosocialanxiety
http://www.youtube.com/user/edenny1
http://www.youtube.com/user/bishi4me
http://www.youtube.com/user/socialanxietyvideo


----------



## reliefseeker

cwq said:


> Hear ye! Hear ye!
> To encourage more people to the chatroom
> We are implementing a reward system
> Besides the usual tender loving care you get when you come to the chatroom
> Anyone who log in for 3 straight days is entitled to(choose one):
> 1. Unlimited supply of fresh air & Sunny days
> 2. Free daily well wishing & joke of the day for a week
> 3. Jeffery will sing a song of your choice thru phone or webcam
> 4. A cute adorable bear bear made of old newspaper
> 5. A cute girl who can accompany him.
> 
> Participant will also automatically be entered in a monthly lucky draw and stand a chance to win a free lunch worth $30.


Hey i log in for 3 straight days since the moment u wrote this message.

Give me number 5!:clap


----------



## reliefseeker

Sighs...Think one day Im gonna chat with myself in the chatroom soon :sus


----------



## chewren

Update!!!



chewren said:


> let me introduce myself,i'm currently 18, had SAD since around when i was 9. i was always the 'quiet' one in class .i don't have much friends,always get bullies since young.There's nobody for me to talk to when i have problems,so i would often bottled up the feelings, sometimes causes anger and i get into fights with the bullies.In school, i would often get anxiety attacks and racing heart beat.i always fear people's judgements and always avoid people.i always knew that there was something wrong with me.
> As years goes by,my SAD became worst and worst and eventually causes me to stop going to school.
> 
> How about we talk about me in the present? i seen a psychologist last year and life have been better for me, even thought i still have some anxiety attacks.i am studying in a private school currently.sometimes i would go out to sgclub forum outing to try to be comfortable with people and learn some social skills and i have made some friends ,it even help me to gain some interest like cycling and volunteering in a dog shelter. i also go for outing organised by people here.


----------



## reliefseeker

Its sad that society look down/ostracize the ones who need social support the most.


----------



## GodSaveMe

I hv problem logging in from home, testing 123 fr GodSaveMe


----------



## milo001

Wow,Singaporeans thread is so active unlike our Malaysians thread.Did you guys mind if ask you guys what are you guys doing for living and did your parents know abour your social phobia and what is their thoughts about this because until know my mum still think I'm lazy so I don't work.Typical Asian parents.


----------



## GodSaveMe

Hi Maple, my hobbies are sleeping, swimming, playing with cats, & spending time with my daughter & family...I hv been feeling more anxious recently and this anxiety has been made worse with backache. Got some trembling sensations and easily irritated & upset. Nervous to talk to people, scare people will see my fierce and anxious face for no reason, they will think that Im siao...lucky got this support group and managed to meet cwq & tensedboy few days ago to voice out my social anxiety fear, otherwise, I will really go siao....Im working in tanjong pagar & staying in tampines, feel free to contact me, should you wish to voice out. My email is [email protected]

Take care, my friend...


----------



## milo001

GodSaveMe said:


> Hi Maple, my hobbies are sleeping, swimming, playing with cats, & spending time with my daughter & family...I hv been feeling more anxious recently and this anxiety has been made worse with backache. Got some trembling sensations and easily irritated & upset. Nervous to talk to people, scare people will see my fierce and anxious face for no reason, they will think that Im siao...lucky got this support group and managed to meet cwq & tensedboy few days ago to voice out my social anxiety fear, otherwise, I will really go siao....Im working in tanjong pagar & staying in tampines, feel free to contact me, should you wish to voice out. My email is [email protected]
> 
> Take care, my friend...


Hey GSM welcome to SAS.Hope you enjoy your stay here.The anxiety makes me siao too.A few years ago I'm so depressed because of the loneliness.In Malaysia we had Befrienders so I'll talk to them if I'm depressed.It helps a bit because I can let my feelings out and the volunteers won't judge you.but now I don't think I'll be able to call anymore.My phone phobia is getting worse.


----------



## cwq

milo001 said:


> Wow,Singaporeans thread is so active unlike our Malaysians thread.Did you guys mind if ask you guys what are you guys doing for living and did your parents know abour your social phobia and what is their thoughts about this because until know my mum still think I'm lazy so I don't work.Typical Asian parents.


Thats was how my parents think of me, they dnt understand what we are going thru. I do know my parents love me but its difficult for mine to understand, even most educated ppl cant understand let alone my uneducated parents. I remember once someone i just met ask me why i aint working, i told him i have depression and SA, he mockingly said "if like that, i can say i have depression and SA and i dnt need to work too". Well i hope they do get depression and SA then they can eat their own words.


----------



## cwq

tensedboy said:


> Hey i log in for 3 straight days since the moment u wrote this message.
> 
> Give me number 5!:clap


I am sorry i dnt have any cute girl to give you :-\
I can the most buy a barbie doll for you


----------



## cwq

milo001 said:


> Hey GSM welcome to SAS.Hope you enjoy your stay here.The anxiety makes me siao too.A few years ago I'm so depressed because of the loneliness.In Malaysia we had Befrienders so I'll talk to them if I'm depressed.It helps a bit because I can let my feelings out and the volunteers won't judge you.but now I don't think I'll be able to call anymore.My phone phobia is getting worse.


Hi milo, where in malaysia are you?
You can join us in our facebook group if you like


----------



## milo001

cwq said:


> Hi milo, where in malaysia are you?
> You can join us in our facebook group if you like


I'm in Penang.Really embarassing to said that I have never been to Singapore even if it's only 8 hours bus journey.About peoples that mock us about social phobia,depression or other mental disorders I think I can understand why for example my uneducated parents doesn't even know anything about mental disorders.To them mental disorders means schizophrenia.That's all they know.Even the educated one also don't really know much about it.So it's normal that they don't understand us.Maybe because we are the minority.


----------



## GodSaveMe

milo001 said:


> Hey GSM welcome to SAS.Hope you enjoy your stay here.The anxiety makes me siao too.A few years ago I'm so depressed because of the loneliness.In Malaysia we had Befrienders so I'll talk to them if I'm depressed.It helps a bit because I can let my feelings out and the volunteers won't judge you.but now I don't think I'll be able to call anymore.My phone phobia is getting worse.


Hi Milo
u got phone phobia means that u r scare of talking on the phone is it? What is it that u r afraid of when u r on the phone? Do share your fear, so that we may help.


----------



## GodSaveMe

milo001 said:


> I'm in Penang.Really embarassing to said that I have never been to Singapore even if it's only 8 hours bus journey.About peoples that mock us about social phobia,depression or other mental disorders I think I can understand why for example my uneducated parents doesn't even know anything about mental disorders.To them mental disorders means schizophrenia.That's all they know.Even the educated one also don't really know much about it.So it's normal that they don't understand us.Maybe because we are the minority.


We are actually not the minority, in fact almost everyone has SA, it all depends on the degree & intensity of SA tolerance each one of us has. We SA sufferers of course have very low tolerance level of SA, thus we get nervous easily in social situations, as compared to others who can control anxiety better.


----------



## milo001

GodSaveMe said:


> Hi Milo
> u got phone phobia means that u r scare of talking on the phone is it? What is it that u r afraid of when u r on the phone? Do share your fear, so that we may help.


My anxiety with phone come from my SA.It's this thinking that the person on the line is gonna be laughing at you or thinking of you badly or they might gonna ridicule you.It'ds stupid thoughts but can't seems to shake it off.How about you?Did you have any problems with answering the phone?


----------



## milo001

GodSaveMe said:


> We are actually not the minority, in fact almost everyone has SA, it all depends on the degree & intensity of SA tolerance each one of us has. We SA sufferers of course have very low tolerance level of SA, thus we get nervous easily in social situations, as compared to others who can control anxiety better.


So would you consider your Social Phobia severe or only moderate?I would consider my quite severe because of it I'm living like a hermit for the rest of my life.


----------



## GodSaveMe

milo001 said:


> My anxiety with phone come from my SA.It's this thinking that the person on the line is gonna be laughing at you or thinking of you badly or they might gonna ridicule you.It'ds stupid thoughts but can't seems to shake it off.How about you?Did you have any problems with answering the phone?


Sometimes in office when I talk too much on the phone, I will feel not myself and become anxious also, my heart will beat faster and then cant really smile naturally after that call. Coz Im a shy quiet person, I dont really talk much to people face to face due to I scare people see my anxious face. So people will find me strange, if I talk too much on phone. So when there is people around, I am conscious & so dont really talk much on phone.


----------



## GodSaveMe

milo001 said:


> So would you consider your Social Phobia severe or only moderate?I would consider my quite severe because of it I'm living like a hermit for the rest of my life.


My social phobia is sometimes moderate somestimes severe, I had many suicidal thoughts when the evil of SA is too overbearing for me to take it, its a wake up call, I sought medical help, coz I dont wana die of SA, not worth it. For 13 yrs the drug Seroxat has helped me to control some SA, so that I can at least enjoy some happiness in life. I hv since slowly stopped Seroxat for many mths now. So r u on medication now to get back ur life?


----------



## coward84

hi ppl i'm back.... just ended a crazy semester and have to look for a job soon. 

Btw the fear of job interview and future interaction with new colleagues is stressing me out to the point i'm having insomnia every night. 

i had some bad interview experience with employers (i totally freaked out throughout the process!!!) which further reduces the meagre self confidence i had in me. 

Thank you for viewing my message, at this point of time i just wanted to express my inner feelings as i have no one else to confide to......


----------



## reliefseeker

coward84 said:


> hi ppl i'm back.... just ended a crazy semester and have to look for a job soon.
> 
> Btw the fear of job interview and future interaction with new colleagues is stressing me out to the point i'm having insomnia every night.
> 
> i had some bad interview experience with employers (i totally freaked out throughout the process!!!) which further reduces the meagre self confidence i had in me.
> 
> Thank you for viewing my message, at this point of time i just wanted to express my inner feelings as i have no one else to confide to......


Welcome back 
Read ur msg, yeah, everytime before I start having any major exams, or working my first job, I'll get very anxious too. It's normal i guess, depends on how u handle it.

Maybe u can try not to take things too seriously, and don't treat it like its a "do or die" thing, because that might make u even more stress up. Just think that life goes on no matter what.

I cant guarantee if this works for u, but for my case, it helps sometimes.

And if u cant sleep at night, you can join us for a chat at http://sas.daojia888.com :yes


----------



## Kei Lee

Wow so many of you guys in Singapore and it's such a small place too. I am a British Eurasian living in KL but I have Singaporean relatives and plan to migrate there early next year.. I would love to have meetups with you all. Keep me updated please!


----------



## milo001

GodSaveMe said:


> My social phobia is sometimes moderate somestimes severe, I had many suicidal thoughts when the evil of SA is too overbearing for me to take it, its a wake up call, I sought medical help, coz I dont wana die of SA, not worth it. For 13 yrs the drug Seroxat has helped me to control some SA, so that I can at least enjoy some happiness in life. I hv since slowly stopped Seroxat for many mths now. So r u on medication now to get back ur life?


When I'm still working a few years ago almost every night I had this suicidal thought like "It's better I'll never wake up from now on."That is the worse time of my life ever.Nothing ever works for me whether working or studying because mixing with peoples is such a stressful things to do.It's not something that I really enjoy rather I'm force to do it.Kinda scared what will happen in the future if my life keeps going on like this.Sorry for the long ranting.

Gald that the pills work for you.To me it's still the same.I have quit the pills.


----------



## cwq

I am currently out of job and working on a part time basis, so i am offering myself as a social companion for the time being. I can go anywhere do anything with you, so if you are feeling bored and want to go out i am available for you.


----------



## cwq

*Meet up*

There's an outing this coming friday which i would really like to see some participation from you guys. We will be heading down to the east coast park for dinner and then a sharing session followed by some R&R. The purpose for this outing is to get to know each other, make some friends and bonding. The time is fixed at 1800hrs, we will decide where to gather on a later time, most probably at Mcdonald. Theres no need to be shy about this, we are all in the same boat. Give yourself and others an opportunity to know each other, make some friends, develop friendship and perhaps even defeat SA hand in hand. 
The outing is also listed at our facebook group, so do rsvp asap. For anyone who would like to participate can contact me @ [email protected] thru email, msn or facebook, otherwise i am reachable at this number 84280203. Do join us


----------



## cwq

Kei Lee said:


> Wow so many of you guys in Singapore and it's such a small place too. I am a British Eurasian living in KL but I have Singaporean relatives and plan to migrate there early next year.. I would love to have meetups with you all. Keep me updated please!


A bit more about yourself?
Looking forward to having you here in sg. Let us know when you have arrived


----------



## cwq

Are you guys interested in meeting up?


----------



## exorcist

hey everybody! i'm from sillypore too!! hahaha..


----------



## reliefseeker

exorcist said:


> hey everybody! i'm from sillypore too!! hahaha..


Hello! All new members pls register at our sg website sas.daojia888.com too, and do join us for a chat 

Btw, a little bit more abt yourself? :b


----------



## exorcist

im nearing 25, male! battled SA my entire life. not surprising.. it screwed up my studies, my social life and all the norms SA-ppl face.

the only way i got better after all these time is find strength in hatred and pain. 

i tried taking prozac for 2 weeks, gave me bad appetite everyday. gave up on it. took me one more additional week to regain appetite. and i reckon any western medicine is going to have some side effect. so i decided to do without it. i might consider TCM.

i have seen SA-helping professionals few times only in my life.

sad but true... a huge part of the effort comes from ourselves in the end. 

so everyday i just tell myself forget it. i'm gonna do it and i'm gonna prove ppl wrong. of course... it won't work so nicely as it sounds in theory. 

i feel better through music (a huge part of my life), teh-o peng, exercising. 

also...i like to take walks along landed properties in singapore. cause i have strong interest in design (though i'm not intending to study anything design related). i like to admire the houses and wonder how these rich ppl amass their wealth.

have a nice weekend ppl!


----------



## reliefseeker

exorcist said:


> im nearing 25, male! battled SA my entire life. not surprising.. it screwed up my studies, my social life and all the norms SA-ppl face.
> 
> the only way i got better after all these time is find strength in hatred and pain.
> 
> i tried taking prozac for 2 weeks, gave me bad appetite everyday. gave up on it. took me one more additional week to regain appetite. and i reckon any western medicine is going to have some side effect. so i decided to do without it. i might consider TCM.
> 
> i have seen SA-helping professionals few times only in my life.


Same. I'm 20 this yr, been having SA for 6 yrs, and only start seeing the doctor last year. My psy prescribed me prozac to deal with my anxiety, the first few weeks I took it was terrible, in fact i could almost skip 2 meals and still wont feel hungry for the 3rd. But luckily it stopped before I went to complain to my doc about the heavy side effects.

So far the condition of my SA is stabilized, mostly is because of the support I received from this group. Despite that, I have yet to take control of certain emotions like anger, irritation or even paranoia.

Anyway its a good thing that you found us. I'm sure your condition will get better.:yes


----------



## milo001

tensedboy said:


> Same. I'm 20 this yr, been having SA for 6 yrs, and only start seeing the doctor last year. My psy prescribed me prozac to deal with my anxiety, the first few weeks I took it was terrible, in fact i could almost skip 2 meals and still wont feel hungry for the 3rd. But luckily it stopped before I went to complain to my doc about the heavy side effects.
> 
> So far the condition of my SA is stabilized, mostly is because of the support I received from this group. Despite that, I have yet to take control of certain emotions like anger, irritation or even paranoia.
> 
> Anyway its a good thing that you found us. I'm sure your condition will get better.:yes


I feel that pills really doesn't help.So I gave up on it.I had been prescribed a few medicines not only for anxiety.So far i have taken zoloft and clonazepam for anxiety and depression.And also antipyschotic meds like resperidone.Well i guess the doc prescribed me schizo meds because I think too think too much.


----------



## milo001

And i had been to private clinical pyschologist and general hospital counselling session.Doesn't really help either.The psychologist is much better but my family can't afford it.It cost over RM100 for every 1 1/2 hour session.


----------



## GodSaveMe

tensedboy said:


> Same. I'm 20 this yr, been having SA for 6 yrs, and only start seeing the doctor last year. My psy prescribed me prozac to deal with my anxiety, the first few weeks I took it was terrible, in fact i could almost skip 2 meals and still wont feel hungry for the 3rd. But luckily it stopped before I went to complain to my doc about the heavy side effects.
> 
> So far the condition of my SA is stabilized, mostly is because of the support I received from this group. Despite that, I have yet to take control of certain emotions like anger, irritation or even paranoia.
> 
> Anyway its a good thing that you found us. I'm sure your condition will get better.:yes


tensedboy, its good to hear dat ur SA has stabilised. I hv also gained a lot of emotional support from this forum and from SA friends like yourself, I hv found more reason to smile in life now although Im still struggling with social anxiety everyday


----------



## GodSaveMe

milo001 said:


> And i had been to private clinical pyschologist and general hospital counselling session.Doesn't really help either.The psychologist is much better but my family can't afford it.It cost over RM100 for every 1 1/2 hour session.


Ya med & seeing doc are really a $ headache for us SA pple...for us in Sg, we wil get a referral letter from polyclinic(govt supported medical clinic) to see doc in hospital, in this way the med + doc consultation costs are highly subsidised to make affordable to SA folks. See if Msia got such lobang go for it.


----------



## GodSaveMe

exorcist said:


> im nearing 25, male! battled SA my entire life. not surprising.. it screwed up my studies, my social life and all the norms SA-ppl face.
> 
> the only way i got better after all these time is find strength in hatred and pain.
> 
> i tried taking prozac for 2 weeks, gave me bad appetite everyday. gave up on it. took me one more additional week to regain appetite. and i reckon any western medicine is going to have some side effect. so i decided to do without it. i might consider TCM.
> 
> i have seen SA-helping professionals few times only in my life.
> 
> sad but true... a huge part of the effort comes from ourselves in the end.
> 
> so everyday i just tell myself forget it. i'm gonna do it and i'm gonna prove ppl wrong. of course... it won't work so nicely as it sounds in theory.
> 
> i feel better through music (a huge part of my life), teh-o peng, exercising.
> 
> also...i like to take walks along landed properties in singapore. cause i have strong interest in design (though i'm not intending to study anything design related). i like to admire the houses and wonder how these rich ppl amass their wealth.
> 
> have a nice weekend ppl!


Many times, I hated myself why of all pple, I hv to go through social anxiety in my life, SA has drained a lot of energy in me, so everyday after an anxiety day of work, I will be a dead log lying on the bed, physically & emotionally dried. So Im always feeling tired with bodyache and of course with all these physical symptoms, my SA will become worse & the vicious cycle will start again. Lucky I got a soft spot for cats - whenever Im sad, the moment I see & touch cats, I will feel better, at least I can forget SA for a while. I also use swimming & jogging to alleviate anxious feelings.


----------



## milo001

GodSaveMe said:


> Ya med & seeing doc are really a $ headache for us SA pple...for us in Sg, we wil get a referral letter from polyclinic(govt supported medical clinic) to see doc in hospital, in this way the med + doc consultation costs are highly subsidised to make affordable to SA folks. See if Msia got such lobang go for it.


We have psychiatric departments in goverment hospital so the meds is not really a problem.So meds is not the problem.But the doctor in gh is not really good.They have tons of patients each time and what they do is ask about your conditions and presribed meds for you and refer you to counselling department.I dreaded to go for counselling sessions and after a few sessions I just don't go anymore.

But we don't get subsidised for private psychologist.So lots of Malaysian bought insurance because the service in gh is bad and the private hospital is much better but cost a lot.


----------



## WonderSotong

cwq said:


> There's an outing this coming friday which i would really like to see some participation from you guys. We will be heading down to the east coast park for dinner and then a sharing session followed by some R&R. The purpose for this outing is to get to know each other, make some friends and bonding. The time is fixed at 1800hrs, we will decide where to gather on a later time, most probably at Mcdonald. Theres no need to be shy about this, we are all in the same boat. Give yourself and others an opportunity to know each other, make some friends, develop friendship and perhaps even defeat SA hand in hand.
> The outing is also listed at our facebook group, so do rsvp asap. For anyone who would like to participate can contact me @ [email protected] thru email, msn or facebook, otherwise i am reachable at this number 84280203. Do join us


wished i could've joined but i was working that day... =/

do keep organising more such outings pls. =)


----------



## milo001

GodSaveMe said:


> Many times, I hated myself why of all pple, I hv to go through social anxiety in my life, SA has drained a lot of energy in me, so everyday after an anxiety day of work, I will be a dead log lying on the bed, physically & emotionally dried. So Im always feeling tired with bodyache and of course with all these physical symptoms, my SA will become worse & the vicious cycle will start again. Lucky I got a soft spot for cats - whenever Im sad, the moment I see & touch cats, I will feel better, at least I can forget SA for a while. I also use swimming & jogging to alleviate anxious feelings.


Being with peoples makes me very tired emotionally as well.So I always avoid going out with friends when I'm still studying.But being with pets makes my tiredness gone.


----------



## WonderSotong

milo001 said:


> We have psychiatric departments in goverment hospital so the meds is not really a problem.So meds is not the problem.But the doctor in gh is not really good.They have tons of patients each time and what they do is ask about your conditions and presribed meds for you and refer you to counselling department.I dreaded to go for counselling sessions and after a few sessions I just don't go anymore.
> 
> But we don't get subsidised for private psychologist.So lots of Malaysian bought insurance because the service in gh is bad and the private hospital is much better but cost a lot.


why did u dread going for counselling?

I changed cousellors 3 times, the current one seems quite good. at least got someone to guide me with my therapy.

i was supposed to see psychologist but too much $$$ needed...


----------



## milo001

WonderSotong said:


> why did u dread going for counselling?
> 
> I changed cousellors 3 times, the current one seems quite good. at least got someone to guide me with my therapy.
> 
> i was supposed to see psychologist but too much $$$ needed...


Because everytime the counsellor will just telling me the same thing and I find that it doesn't really help.The one on one session makes me more nervous.Maybe I can talk better with psychologist so I find her much better.But the $$ man.And at the end I'm still back to the square one.

Did you need to pay for the conselling session or it's free?


----------



## milo001

Question for fellow Singaporeans.What is sotong really means?I always like Singlish but sometimes I don't really understand.


----------



## WonderSotong

milo001 said:


> Because everytime the counsellor will just telling me the same thing and I find that it doesn't really help.The one on one session makes me more nervous.Maybe I can talk better with psychologist so I find her much better.But the $$ man.And at the end I'm still back to the square one.
> 
> Did you need to pay for the conselling session or it's free?


To me, i think it's the person and whether or not they understand u and ur problem, not really the profession.

ya i pay...but only $10/session. if unable to afford they dun force u


----------



## milo001

WonderSotong said:


> To me, i think it's the person and whether or not they understand u and ur problem, not really the profession.
> 
> ya i pay...but only $10/session. if unable to afford they dun force u


Yeah,i think that as well.Both of them are nice persons.It's just that the psychologist understand me more and at that time I'm still not giving up hope to be free from social phobia.Now I just give up from being recover.As long as i can still function in this society then it'll be alright.

That is very reasonable.And you are working right?Will you tell your boss about your current conditions?


----------



## WonderSotong

milo001 said:


> Yeah,i think that as well.Both of them are nice persons.It's just that the psychologist understand me more and at that time I'm still not giving up hope to be free from social phobia.Now I just give up from being recover.As long as i can still function in this society then it'll be alright.
> 
> That is very reasonable.And you are working right?Will you tell your boss about your current conditions?


yup i have been working past few years. i am able to work but takes a long time and alot of struggling to fit into a new workplace.


----------



## reliefseeker

WonderSotong said:


> wished i could've joined but i was working that day... =/
> 
> do keep organising more such outings pls. =)


The ECP outing was changed to KTV instead due to the poor response we received from this group. 
Anyway yeah, we will still organize more outings, given that you guys are really keen in it.


----------



## reliefseeker

Well I've always thought that all the people who joined this support group are genuine SA sufferers wanting to make new friends who understand and support each other, guess I was wrong though.


----------



## GodSaveMe

tensedboy said:


> Well I've always thought that all the people who joined this support group are genuine SA sufferers wanting to make new friends who understand and support each other, guess I was wrong though.


tensedboy, what happened? Do share your unhappiness with us, we care.


----------



## reliefseeker

GodSaveMe said:


> tensedboy, what happened? Do share your unhappiness with us, we care.


ill msg u about it soon.


----------



## GodSaveMe

WonderSotong said:


> yup i have been working past few years. i am able to work but takes a long time and alot of struggling to fit into a new workplace.


Ya u r rite, my SA was at its very ugly face when I were at my new job, I hv to struggle to make new friends at work which I am most poor at & very nervous abt and still hv to struggle with learning new work. Its a double struggle. Sometime I so overwhelmed by SA that I make mistakes at work, which make me more depressed. So its best for us SA folks to stick to the old workplc than a new work envt, so dat we no need to struggle so much with SA.


----------



## GodSaveMe

tensedboy said:


> ill msg u about it soon.


tensedboy dont think so much abt it lah, coz its bad for our already vulnerable mental health, lets just be simple peace-loving folks, & be satisfied with our support in this SA forum. Our real target is Social Anxiety, we must perservere & fight it together!


----------



## reliefseeker

GodSaveMe said:


> tensedboy dont think so much abt it lah, coz its bad for our already vulnerable mental health, lets just be simple peace-loving folks, & be satisfied with our support in this SA forum. Our real target is Social Anxiety, we must perservere & fight it together!


Alright i will


----------



## reliefseeker

Recruiting supporters!!

Our fellow senior SA member, Cwq is taking part in a 100 hour movie marathon event at NEX starting from Wednesday 6pm onwards to Sunday, and if he's the last man standing, he'll win $10000! So he really needs ur support to win. 

Interested ones please sms me @ 97533539 (Jeff), we can arrange for a time to meet up.:yes


----------



## Exist3nce

0.0 Didnt know there were Singaporean here Hello! Umm im a newbie around here...Its pretty nice to know im not the only one with SA in sg


----------



## chewren

*update*

Update: patrick is still 'sitting' strong , he is the remaining 64 people out of 150 . He still need support from you guys.


----------



## reliefseeker

Exist3nce said:


> 0.0 Didnt know there were Singaporean here Hello! Umm im a newbie around here...Its pretty nice to know im not the only one with SA in sg


Hello welcome  
Do feel free to share your troubles here, we're always here to listen to you. 
And also, if you're alone or bored, do join us at the sg chatroom website http://sas.daojia888.com :yes


----------



## reliefseeker

chewren said:


> Update: patrick is still 'sitting' strong , he is the remaining 64 people out of 150 . He still need support from you guys.


Now less than < 55 ppl left, so far lasted 30 over hours without sleep.
But he's really sleepy now, hope he doesn't give up though.


----------



## cwq

Thx for supporting me, but really very tuff, cannot tahan


----------



## reliefseeker

Anyone wanna go out these few days? 

I don't wanna stay at home and subject myself to unreasonable behavior and sarcastic mocking from my neighbours. It's making me paranoid.


----------



## exorcist

thank you GODSAVE ME and TENSEDBOY for your comments. 

hope you all are doing well.


----------



## Ashley1990

i feel lonely too..pls invite me too


----------



## exorcist

tensedboy said:


> Anyone wanna go out these few days?
> 
> I don't wanna stay at home and subject myself to unreasonable behavior and sarcastic mocking from my neighbours. It's making me paranoid.


don't let your paranoia take control. use logic and an open mind..

the most important thing in life is to not care what others think. we only live once. why let what others think influence our lives (if we are not doing anything wrong).

your neighbors are imbeciles if they really are mocking you. and you're not going to let their comments affect you. all these are just mindless statements.

take a walk along quiet places... drink smth iced while you're doing so.. you will feel pretty good. climb bt timah hill if you stay in the west..

watch more movies like 300... or forrest jump... or whichever movie that speaks of bravery and courage to want to change and make a difference.

if you embrace it rather positively... i believe NS will make you stronger. don't find ways to escape or be downgraded.. you will step out a stronger person. bc NS forces you to stay together with strangers, interact with them. you will have a fair bit of bad moments. but through all the bad moments.. you will definitely step out stronger if you look at the entire experience positively.


----------



## cwq

Just woke up after 40 hours of madhouse torture watching non stop movie and eating KFC for breakfast lunch dinner and snack, i dnt know which is worse, watching non stop movie or eating KFC again and again and again. I think after this i developed movie and KFC phobia liao. I want to thank jeffery and chewren for their kind support during this time. It really touched me and made me feel good that they showed up to support me. Thanks to all the folks that expressed well wishes for me too. Its just not meant for me to win i guess haha.


----------



## cwq

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Sometimes its not about who is there to hold the trophy with you when you win but who was with you by your side in the journey of life.


----------



## samuel89

exorcist said:


> don't let your paranoia take control. use logic and an open mind..
> 
> the most important thing in life is to not care what others think. we only live once. why let what others think influence our lives (if we are not doing anything wrong).
> 
> your neighbors are imbeciles if they really are mocking you. and you're not going to let their comments affect you. all these are just mindless statements.
> 
> take a walk along quiet places... drink smth iced while you're doing so.. you will feel pretty good. climb bt timah hill if you stay in the west..
> 
> watch more movies like 300... or forrest jump... or whichever movie that speaks of bravery and courage to want to change and make a difference.
> 
> if you embrace it rather positively... i believe NS will make you stronger. don't find ways to escape or be downgraded.. you will step out a stronger person. bc NS forces you to stay together with strangers, interact with them. you will have a fair bit of bad moments. but through all the bad moments.. you will definitely step out stronger if you look at the entire experience positively.


well say man, liked the way you think, its so positive xD


----------



## cwq

Its partieee time!


----------



## cwq

RAJVINDERKAUR said:


> i feel lonely too..pls invite me too


I need you to fill up the application form index number 12havefun, also need to have a photocopy of ur IC, a recent photograph of yourself & your contact number. Your passport to the country of lonelynomore will be rdy for collection the moment you sooner you apply. ;-)


----------



## cwq

tensedboy said:


> Anyone wanna go out these few days?
> 
> I don't wanna stay at home and subject myself to unreasonable behavior and sarcastic mocking from my neighbours. It's making me paranoid.


----------



## Ashley1990

cwq said:


> I need you to fill up the application form index number 12havefun, also need to have a photocopy of ur IC, a recent photograph of yourself & your contact number. Your passport to the country of lonelynomore will be rdy for collection the moment you sooner you apply. ;-)


thanks..


----------



## exorcist

samuel89 said:


> well say man, liked the way you think, its so positive xD


yeah man..

i used to struggle a lot. though now i haven't completely broken free from the clutches of SA.. i have improved a fair bit from my young days.

one of the biggest mistakes we make is letting what others say/do affect us.

you wouldn't want to lie on your deathbed and regret that you allowed what people say/do dominate a huge part of your life.

it's not going to be easy but you really got to get this statement in your head and tell yourself you're not going to let what ppl say dictate your life.

you are special, unique. you deserve to live a better life.

have a nice weekend everybody


----------



## samuel89

"use logic and an open mind", this is powerful if we understand it xD.
and this "not care what others think". most of us too worry on how other think of us i guess which cause us to be anxiety.

but remember ,judge not and be not judged.


its true everyone is unique, because all of us think different.


----------



## GodSaveMe

Hey cwq, so u hv watched wat movies leh? How much u paid to enter tis contest?


----------



## WonderSotong

Exist3nce said:


> 0.0 Didnt know there were Singaporean here Hello! Umm im a newbie around here...Its pretty nice to know im not the only one with SA in sg


Waaa like got more n more pple here hor. :clap


----------



## cwq

GodSaveMe said:


> Hey cwq, so u hv watched wat movies leh? How much u paid to enter tis contest?


Dnt have to pay la, i watched a lot of movies but didnt enjoy them becoz i had to watch them all at one go.


----------



## GodSaveMe

Exist3nce said:


> 0.0 Didnt know there were Singaporean here Hello! Umm im a newbie around here...Its pretty nice to know im not the only one with SA in sg


Hi Exist3nce, can intro abt urself? I have social phobia since 17 yrs old and now Im still struggling with this anxiety. Welcome to this forum of hope.


----------



## GodSaveMe

WonderSotong said:


> Waaa like got more n more pple here hor. :clap


Ya Wondersotong, at least we wont be so lonely in Sg lor, btw y u called urself sotong leh? :roll


----------



## GodSaveMe

cwq said:


> Dnt have to pay la, i watched a lot of movies but didnt enjoy them becoz i had to watch them all at one go.


cwq, I leally look u up for hving gone thru so many hrs of movie, if i were u, my back would break liao :afr


----------



## GodSaveMe

tensedboy said:


> Anyone wanna go out these few days?
> 
> I don't wanna stay at home and subject myself to unreasonable behavior and sarcastic mocking from my neighbours. It's making me paranoid.


tensedboy, what did ur neighbours do leh? Tis week has been a high anxiety wk for me due to I need to teach new colleague who has many qns for me everyday while I struggle with my work stress. If only I can tell her dat I hv social anxiety, so pls stop talkng to me, then I wouldnt be so depressed & stressed. Tis whole wk I work till 8pm each day and my backache has worsen my social anxiety tremendously, I hope tis new colleague can learn her work fast, otherwise I think I may become siao very soon.


----------



## WonderSotong

GodSaveMe said:


> Ya Wondersotong, at least we wont be so lonely in Sg lor, btw y u called urself sotong leh? :roll


Because people like to say i am blur. I guess i can be at times. Haha.


----------



## milo001

WonderSotong said:


> Because people like to say i am blur. I guess i can be at times. Haha.


Haha,I'm a blur blur person as well.I have been called burger by my college friends years ago.


----------



## milo001

Will anyone feels panic when you are being watch?I feel useless because I'm panicking whenever someone watch me whether I'm working or just doing nothing.


----------



## cwq

milo001 said:


> Will anyone feels panic when you are being watch?I feel useless because I'm panicking whenever someone watch me whether I'm working or just doing nothing.


Yes, when ppl look at me for longer than they should, my anxiety goes up and when i am having an episode of anxiety attack, i have increased awareness of the surrounding people, i become highly conscious of people looking at me as i do not want them to see my "anxiety" expression.


----------



## reliefseeker

milo001 said:


> Will anyone feels panic when you are being watch?I feel useless because I'm panicking whenever someone watch me whether I'm working or just doing nothing.


Yeah, i also get paranoid and worked up when i'm being monitored/watched strictly. Typical SA symptom i guess..


----------



## GodSaveMe

ya recently I cant keep eye contact with people especially the new colleague whom I am teaching work on, she can also sense my uncomfortable body language and she also try not to hv much eye contact with me. Coz Im under a lot of anxiety teaching her work, as I hv SA & I still need to talk so much with her everyday, Im really very mentally and physically tired. These few days I ask myself:'why dont I just go & die and end all my anxiety sufferings'. Wo hao ke lian..:'(


----------



## cwq

GodSaveMe said:


> ya recently I cant keep eye contact with people especially the new colleague whom I am teaching work on, she can also sense my uncomfortable body language and she also try not to hv much eye contact with me. Coz Im under a lot of anxiety teaching her work, as I hv SA & I still need to talk so much with her everyday, Im really very mentally and physically tired. These few days I ask myself:'why dont I just go & die and end all my anxiety sufferings'. Wo hao ke lian..:'(


Yeah, after a while they just turn their face or avoid eye contacts, its a lousy feeling. Hang in there. You cant die before LKY or bad luck.


----------



## reliefseeker

GodSaveMe said:


> ya recently I cant keep eye contact with people especially the new colleague whom I am teaching work on, she can also sense my uncomfortable body language and she also try not to hv much eye contact with me. Coz Im under a lot of anxiety teaching her work, as I hv SA & I still need to talk so much with her everyday, Im really very mentally and physically tired. These few days I ask myself:'why dont I just go & die and end all my anxiety sufferings'. Wo hao ke lian..:'(


I think its a good thing that people are relying on you for knowledge. Just take it as you're doing a good deed, helping other people.

You don't hv to worry on what she will think of u, because in their minds, they are most probably thankful that you're helping them.


----------



## GodSaveMe

cwq said:


> Yeah, after a while they just turn their face or avoid eye contacts, its a lousy feeling. Hang in there. You cant die before LKY or bad luck.


ya Im still so young, it will be a pity if i end life due to anxiety, went for night jog last nite, feel a bit better, thanks for your sms last nite.


----------



## GodSaveMe

tensedboy said:


> I think its a good thing that people are relying on you for knowledge. Just take it as you're doing a good deed, helping other people.
> 
> You don't hv to worry on what she will think of u, because in their minds, they are most probably thankful that you're helping them.


ya i must think positively, although such good thoughts are hard to remain etched in my mind which is badly scarred by the anxiety monster.


----------



## cwq

Anyone for a short holiday trip?
Maybe bali, genting or batam?


----------



## reliefseeker

cwq said:


> Anyone for a short holiday trip?
> Maybe bali, genting or batam?


genting i dont mind cuz i nvr been there before :yes
but depends on when though. im free during year end december.


----------



## cwq

tensedboy said:


> genting i dont mind cuz i nvr been there before :yes
> but depends on when though. im free during year end december.


Great, i missed the rides there, especially the one that drops all the way down from 30 storeys and also the weather. Lets go on dec then during the holidays.


----------



## nerdynerd

HELLO GUYS! I'm finally backkkkkkk! My former username was beatlesgirl but for some reason they banned me because of multiple accounts!  Tried recreating but got banned again and again!


----------



## cwq

nerdynerd said:


> HELLO GUYS! I'm finally backkkkkkk! My former username was beatlesgirl but for some reason they banned me because of multiple accounts!  Tried recreating but got banned again and again!


You got multiple accounts becoz....?


----------



## nerdynerd

cwq said:


> You got multiple accounts becoz....?


Oh yah I forgot to write that I've been wrongly accused of having multiple
Accounts.. I was actually quite sad when I saw it cause it was as though the forum was rejecting me.. But whatever..


----------



## nerdynerd

Btw, Foster the People is coming to Singapore on 14 Jan, and I've been wanting
To order the tickets but then again.. I'm afraid... As of now, I'll be going alone and it horrifies me when I think of the unforseen circumstances and very awkward and embarrassing stuff that can happen while I'm there.. Plus it's gonna be my first time watching a concert/gig(held at Fort Canning Park) and I have no idea what to do... Pathetically, I will admit that I have not even been to FCP. I know right, I damn sua ku lol! But how.. That's the way I am  
Badly want to go but am hesistating cause I'm afraid to go! Never been to such big events alone..  

Advice anyone??


----------



## reliefseeker

nerdynerd said:


> HELLO GUYS! I'm finally backkkkkkk! My former username was beatlesgirl but for some reason they banned me because of multiple accounts!  Tried recreating but got banned again and again!


Welcome back :yes
If this website is still not working for you, you can always come to the sg chatroom at http://sas.daojia888.com to join us for a chat at nite. We need active chatters!


----------



## cwq

nerdynerd said:


> Btw, Foster the People is coming to Singapore on 14 Jan, and I've been wanting
> To order the tickets but then again.. I'm afraid... As of now, I'll be going alone and it horrifies me when I think of the unforseen circumstances and very awkward and embarrassing stuff that can happen while I'm there.. Plus it's gonna be my first time watching a concert/gig(held at Fort Canning Park) and I have no idea what to do... Pathetically, I will admit that I have not even been to FCP. I know right, I damn sua ku lol! But how.. That's the way I am
> Badly want to go but am hesistating cause I'm afraid to go! Never been to such big events alone..
> 
> Advice anyone??


Omg, you are going there to watch the performance not to perform on stage, nobody is even going to notice you or care about you.


----------



## reliefseeker

nerdynerd said:


> Btw, Foster the People is coming to Singapore on 14 Jan, and I've been wanting
> To order the tickets but then again.. I'm afraid... As of now, I'll be going alone and it horrifies me when I think of the unforseen circumstances and very awkward and embarrassing stuff that can happen while I'm there.. Plus it's gonna be my first time watching a concert/gig(held at Fort Canning Park) and I have no idea what to do... Pathetically, I will admit that I have not even been to FCP. I know right, I damn sua ku lol! But how.. That's the way I am
> Badly want to go but am hesistating cause I'm afraid to go! Never been to such big events alone..
> 
> Advice anyone??


Same. I'm always kinda afraid to do things alone outside, cuz people might think i'm a weirdo or outcast. 
If all that fear and paranoia is gone, I'm sure I can do a lot of things.....

But sometimes we shouldn't be too occupied in what others think of us. We should be more "selfish" in terms of thinking, as in....telling ourselves that, no one else but WE matter, cuz each and every1 of us are the main character in this world, we aren't born to please or follow other people, so there is no reason why we should let other people influence our decision making.


----------



## reliefseeker

If the above doesn't work and everything else fails, perhaps u can consider to have me accompany u to the event so that u won't feel lonely there lol =x


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## cwq

tensedboy said:


> If the above doesn't work and everything else fails, perhaps u can consider to have me accompany u to the event so that u won't feel lonely there lol =x


Okay, i will consider, thank you. :teeth


----------



## GodSaveMe

tensedboy said:


> Same. I'm always kinda afraid to do things alone outside, cuz people might think i'm a weirdo or outcast.
> If all that fear and paranoia is gone, I'm sure I can do a lot of things.....
> 
> But sometimes we shouldn't be too occupied in what others think of us. We should be more "selfish" in terms of thinking, as in....telling ourselves that, no one else but WE matter, cuz each and every1 of us are the main character in this world, we aren't born to please or follow other people, so there is no reason why we should let other people influence our decision making.


All I want for Christmas is if can let my social phobia disappear for the rest of my life in exchange for 1 yr shorter of my life, I will definitely accept this deal straightaway man! Then I will live happily ever after and smile and laugh everyday without any fear or worry or anxiety, hmmm wat a very nice Xmas gift this will be..:b


----------



## GodSaveMe

nerdynerd said:


> Btw, Foster the People is coming to Singapore on 14 Jan, and I've been wanting
> To order the tickets but then again.. I'm afraid... As of now, I'll be going alone and it horrifies me when I think of the unforseen circumstances and very awkward and embarrassing stuff that can happen while I'm there.. Plus it's gonna be my first time watching a concert/gig(held at Fort Canning Park) and I have no idea what to do... Pathetically, I will admit that I have not even been to FCP. I know right, I damn sua ku lol! But how.. That's the way I am
> Badly want to go but am hesistating cause I'm afraid to go! Never been to such big events alone..
> 
> Advice anyone??


Im not anything better, I can get fast heartbeat and keep swallowing saliva and tensed face when queuing for food, waiting for lift(both at work & at hdb home), waiting for mrt, waiting at busstop, be glad u r not alone. To-date Im still trying hard to overcome such ridiculous fears. Sigh...life is great :afr


----------



## cwq

With social anxiety disorder there is a tendency towards negative, self-defeating thinking - also known as *automatic negative thinking* - which typically comes into play in social situations or performance situations.
The following are some of the common types of _automatic negative thinking_:
*Mind Reading*
Mind reading is making a premature judgment that someone is reacting negatively to us.
Example: You are talking to someone and suddenly she yawns. You assume that she is bored with you.
*Fortune-Telling*
Fortune-telling is projecting a negative outcome without much evidence to support it.
Example: Your classmate's grades have been falling lately. You consider him to be much brighter that you are, so you predict that your grades will also begin to drop.
*Over-Generalization*
Overgeneralizing is taking a negative experience in an isolated event, and projecting that experience onto various other similar situations.
Example: You make a presentation at work and stumble over your words when asked a detailed question. Based on this experience, you conclude that you are not good at answering questions in public, so you avoid making any more presentations or speaking up in meetings when questions are asked.
*Personalization*
Personalization is arbitrarily blaming ourselves for external events.
Example: You encounter a sales clerk who is unpleasant and rude to you. You conclude that you must have done something wrong to upset her.
*All-or-Nothing Thinking*
All-or-nothing thinking is judging situations or events as either good or bad, with no levels of gradation in between.
Example: You received a comment of constructive criticism from an audience member during your oral report, therefore you think your presentation was a total disaster.
*Mental Filtering*
Mental filtering involves obsessing over a single negative detail while ignoring all positive aspects of a situation.
Example: You received a grade of B- on a recent class essay assignment instead of your usual A's and A-'s. Therefore your teacher must think your work is really not very good after all, and you're going to end up with a lousy final grade in the class.
*Emotional Reasoning*
Emotional reasoning is the tendency to base conclusions solely on how you are feeling.
Example: You feel unsure of yourself when performing a new task, therefore you must be incompetent.
*Should Statements*
Should statements are unrealistically high expectations we impose on ourselves as motivation to do something.
Example: You tell yourself, "I should never be afraid or show fear when speaking in public because people will notice this and lose interest immediately."
*Labeling*
Labeling is where we attach a negative label to ourselves instead of objectively assessing our thoughts or behaviors.
Example: You say to yourself, "I'm an idiot for making that calculation error in my company's financial report."


----------



## cwq

cwq said:


> With social anxiety disorder there is a tendency towards negative, self-defeating thinking - also known as *automatic negative thinking* - which typically comes into play in social situations or performance situations.
> The following are some of the common types of _automatic negative thinking_:
> *Mind Reading*
> Mind reading is making a premature judgment that someone is reacting negatively to us.
> Example: You are talking to someone and suddenly she yawns. You assume that she is bored with you.
> *Fortune-Telling*
> Fortune-telling is projecting a negative outcome without much evidence to support it.
> Example: Your classmate's grades have been falling lately. You consider him to be much brighter that you are, so you predict that your grades will also begin to drop.
> *Over-Generalization*
> Overgeneralizing is taking a negative experience in an isolated event, and projecting that experience onto various other similar situations.
> Example: You make a presentation at work and stumble over your words when asked a detailed question. Based on this experience, you conclude that you are not good at answering questions in public, so you avoid making any more presentations or speaking up in meetings when questions are asked.
> *Personalization*
> Personalization is arbitrarily blaming ourselves for external events.
> Example: You encounter a sales clerk who is unpleasant and rude to you. You conclude that you must have done something wrong to upset her.
> *All-or-Nothing Thinking*
> All-or-nothing thinking is judging situations or events as either good or bad, with no levels of gradation in between.
> Example: You received a comment of constructive criticism from an audience member during your oral report, therefore you think your presentation was a total disaster.
> *Mental Filtering*
> Mental filtering involves obsessing over a single negative detail while ignoring all positive aspects of a situation.
> Example: You received a grade of B- on a recent class essay assignment instead of your usual A's and A-'s. Therefore your teacher must think your work is really not very good after all, and you're going to end up with a lousy final grade in the class.
> *Emotional Reasoning*
> Emotional reasoning is the tendency to base conclusions solely on how you are feeling.
> Example: You feel unsure of yourself when performing a new task, therefore you must be incompetent.
> *Should Statements*
> Should statements are unrealistically high expectations we impose on ourselves as motivation to do something.
> Example: You tell yourself, "I should never be afraid or show fear when speaking in public because people will notice this and lose interest immediately."
> *Labeling*
> Labeling is where we attach a negative label to ourselves instead of objectively assessing our thoughts or behaviors.
> Example: You say to yourself, "I'm an idiot for making that calculation error in my company's financial report."



*Mind reading* - Assuming you know what other people are thinking, and that they see you in the same negative way that you see yourself.
*Fortune telling* - Predicting the future, usually while assuming the worst will happen. You just "know" that things will go horribly, so you're already anxious before you're even in the situation.
*Catastrophizing* - Blowing things out of proportion. If people notice that you're nervous, it will be "awful," "terrible," or "disastrous."
*Personalizing* - Assuming that people are focusing on you in a negative way or that what's going on with other people has to do with you.


----------



## cwq

nerdynerd said:


> Btw, Foster the People is coming to Singapore on 14 Jan, and I've been wanting
> To order the tickets but then again.. I'm afraid... As of now, I'll be going alone and it horrifies me when I think of the unforseen circumstances and very awkward and embarrassing stuff that can happen while I'm there.. Plus it's gonna be my first time watching a concert/gig(held at Fort Canning Park) and I have no idea what to do... Pathetically, I will admit that I have not even been to FCP. I know right, I damn sua ku lol! But how.. That's the way I am
> Badly want to go but am hesistating cause I'm afraid to go! Never been to such big events alone..
> 
> Advice anyone??


Just go for it and let it be an experience for you. Dnt think so much about what will happen, just take things as they come. Step by step, and step one is to get the ticket. If you want i can create an event for this and see who else might be interested in going.


----------



## cwq

GodSaveMe said:


> All I want for Christmas is if can let my social phobia disappear for the rest of my life in exchange for 1 yr shorter of my life, I will definitely accept this deal straightaway man! Then I will live happily ever after and smile and laugh everyday without any fear or worry or anxiety, hmmm wat a very nice Xmas gift this will be..:b


How about 5 years of you life? :b


----------



## milo001

GodSaveMe said:


> ya i must think positively, although such good thoughts are hard to remain etched in my mind which is badly scarred by the anxiety monster.


I really understand your feelings man.I think we will feel more uncomfortable if others sense our nervousness and anxiousness.Did your facial expressions tell peoples that you are nervous?I don't really now if peoples know I'm nervous or not but whenever others are watching me my face will warm up and I'll started to sweat and that makes me feel worse.But I don't know if my face is growing red or not.

Maybe it's better if your colleague know you are nervous then she will only ask you questions if she really didn't understand.


----------



## milo001

cwq said:


> *Mind reading* - Assuming you know what other people are thinking, and that they see you in the same negative way that you see yourself.
> *Fortune telling* - Predicting the future, usually while assuming the worst will happen. You just "know" that things will go horribly, so you're already anxious before you're even in the situation.
> *Catastrophizing* - Blowing things out of proportion. If people notice that you're nervous, it will be "awful," "terrible," or "disastrous."
> *Personalizing* - Assuming that people are focusing on you in a negative way or that what's going on with other people has to do with you.


I guess everyone who had SA will always do the mind reading.But I'm more than that I always think that peoples know what I'm thinking and they are laughing at me in their mind or talking behind my back.Is that a symptoms of Social Phobia as well?I always think I had Schizophrenia as well since the doctors gave me Schizo meds as well.


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## milo001

cwq said:


> How about 5 years of you life? :b


How about in exchanging of your wealth and status?:b


----------



## cwq

GodSaveMe said:


> All I want for Christmas is if can let my social phobia disappear for the rest of my life in exchange for 1 yr shorter of my life, I will definitely accept this deal straightaway man! Then I will live happily ever after and smile and laugh everyday without any fear or worry or anxiety, hmmm wat a very nice Xmas gift this will be..:b


Btw, dnt anyhow wish for things, bcoz later your wish might come true but in a twisted way, you lose SA & one year's life but you also gain another disorder, Ripped off. :-X


----------



## cwq

milo001 said:


> How about in exchanging of your wealth and status?:b


You mean like be jobless and stay in isolation so i wnt experience SA? If this way, i will lose a lot of other positive experiences too and i will gain depression among other stuffs.


----------



## milo001

cwq said:


> You mean like be jobless and stay in isolation so i wnt experience SA? If this way, i will lose a lot of other positive experiences too and i will gain depression among other stuffs.


I mean like no jobs,no money but you are free from anxiety.No more anxious,nervous and nauseous feelings when you are in the public.No more mind reading and fortune telling.


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## samuel89

i want a job badly! if anyone have any or able to help me, pls pm me thank .


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## cwq

samuel89 said:


> i want a job badly! if anyone have any or able to help me, pls pm me thank .


You looking for what kind of job?


----------



## samuel89

Any job seriously , but as long no one know i have sa xD .


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## reliefseeker

samuel89 said:


> Any job seriously , but as long no one know i have sa xD .


i can introduce u a part-time job which im currently doing, flyer distribution.
but it starts next year though.


----------



## chewren

update: in social situations i was too focus on what i do, like in volunteering i would always talks and discuss about the volunteering process with other people/friends .i usually did not try start a conversation with people,as i am anxious.

aim: try to start a conversation with people by saying a friendly hello/hi and maybe ask them something like their work/school , interest etc...instead of waiting for somebody else to, try to be myself and be positive.


----------



## otakux

chewren said:


> update: in social situations i was too focus on what i do, like in volunteering i would always talks and discuss about the volunteering process with other people/friends .i usually did not try start a conversation with people,as i am anxious.
> 
> aim: try to start a conversation with people by saying a friendly hello/hi and maybe ask them something like their work/school , interest etc...instead of waiting for somebody else to, try to be myself and be positive.


good !!


----------



## Lyt

*Any good psychologist?*

Recently have been considering to go to a psychologist. Had enough of this ****ty life. Can anybody intro some good psychologists? Thanks!


----------



## reliefseeker

Lyt said:


> Recently have been considering to go to a psychologist. Had enough of this ****ty life. Can anybody intro some good psychologists? Thanks!


I think u should go for counselling first, and from what i've heard from WonderSotong(SA member), this 1 is quite gd 
http://www.shanyou.org.sg/parent/en/contact-us/location-map.html/6/ 
and they don't force u to pay also, save lots of $$$.

Btw don't hesitate to share your problems here since we're all SA sufferers..
Also please do visit the chatroom if you're free, coz it's a gd way for us to keep in touch, make friends and support each other better.:yes


----------



## GodSaveMe

Lyt said:


> Recently have been considering to go to a psychologist. Had enough of this ****ty life. Can anybody intro some good psychologists? Thanks!


Hi Lyt
Do tell us more abt urself, we can relate to your suffering and may even provide u with some help on our muture social anxiety problem. Im a SA sufferer too.


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## Lyt

Thanks for the link. I will find time to go. 

I first realize I had anxiety problems when I was 14. Don't know how I got it. Maybe because of some family issues. Since then, I feel anxiety whenever I'm walking alone, eating with friends or even during classes. Its crippling! I tried to tell my mum about this then, but she says it's all in the mind. I'm sure everybody here knows that it's not just the mind. These anxieties can't be controlled!

So, I stopped telling my mum about all the problems and just live with it. I've lost many friends as a result. Now that I'm older and have started working, I figured out it's time to seek help.


----------



## cwq

tensedboy said:


> I think u should go for counselling first, and from what i've heard from WonderSotong(SA member), this 1 is quite gd
> http://www.shanyou.org.sg/parent/en/contact-us/location-map.html/6/
> and they don't force u to pay also, save lots of $$$.
> 
> Btw don't hesitate to share your problems here since we're all SA sufferers..
> Also please do visit the chatroom if you're free, coz it's a gd way for us to keep in touch, make friends and support each other better.:yes


Oh its near my place, i can even cycle/walk there. Maybe i should go for counselling there.


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## reliefseeker

cwq said:


> Oh its near my place, i can even cycle/walk there. Maybe i should go for counselling there.


LOL =x=x=x


----------



## GodSaveMe

Lyt said:


> Thanks for the link. I will find time to go.
> 
> I first realize I had anxiety problems when I was 14. Don't know how I got it. Maybe because of some family issues. Since then, I feel anxiety whenever I'm walking alone, eating with friends or even during classes. Its crippling! I tried to tell my mum about this then, but she says it's all in the mind. I'm sure everybody here knows that it's not just the mind. These anxieties can't be controlled!
> 
> So, I stopped telling my mum about all the problems and just live with it. I've lost many friends as a result. Now that I'm older and have started working, I figured out it's time to seek help.


Ya now dat u got some $ from working, its good dat u can try to arrest this issue, dont let tis monster grow inside u, it will be detrimental to ur mental health. U can get a referral ltr fr polyclinic to refer u to seek doc's help, this way its cheaper.


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## Lyt

GodSaveMe said:


> Ya now dat u got some $ from working, its good dat u can try to arrest this issue, dont let tis monster grow inside u, it will be detrimental to ur mental health. U can get a referral ltr fr polyclinic to refer u to seek doc's help, this way its cheaper.


Thanks for your advice. I think I will try counseling at Shanyou first.


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## reliefseeker

Anyone here up for a chat now?


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## Exist3nce

Hello! Anyone awake now?...I doubt so. Anyways, I can't sleep right now so decided to post random stuff here I know I am not very active around here because I feel kind of awkward joining in the convos but I hope I can participate more I am quite young, probably the the youngest here? I am 15 years old. Just found out about SA this year so I am pretty new to all these and finding this forum is awesome because I can just rant about stuff. I think what made me search for my symptoms was because I had to go for a work attachment interview in school and was freaking out. And so out of curiosity, I googled about my symptoms and ta-da! Its the holiday season now and I have got lots of homework. Since I am taking my O level next year my holiday is fully booked with tuitions and CCAs. Life sucks..... Add me as friend here or PM me yeah I should be getting some sleep now. Goodnight!


----------



## chewren

Exist3nce said:


> Hello! Anyone awake now?...I doubt so. Anyways, I can't sleep right now so decided to post random stuff here I know I am not very active around here because I feel kind of awkward joining in the convos but I hope I can participate more I am quite young, probably the the youngest here? I am 15 years old. Just found out about SA this year so I am pretty new to all these and finding this forum is awesome because I can just rant about stuff. I think what made me search for my symptoms was because I had to go for a work attachment interview in school and was freaking out. And so out of curiosity, I googled about my symptoms and ta-da! Its the holiday season now and I have got lots of homework. Since I am taking my O level next year my holiday is fully booked with tuitions and CCAs. Life sucks..... Add me as friend here or PM me yeah I should be getting some sleep now. Goodnight!


wad's up? i was awake until very late too  it just that i was not surfing the forum. i'm totally used to sleeping late, it doesn't affect me much.

its wonderful that you found out about your SA early.i also found out about SA by googling the symptoms, i have improved much since that day.
i just took my O's this year am still waiting for the results.


----------



## reliefseeker

Exist3nce said:


> Hello! Anyone awake now?...I doubt so. Anyways, I can't sleep right now so decided to post random stuff here I know I am not very active around here because I feel kind of awkward joining in the convos but I hope I can participate more I am quite young, probably the the youngest here? I am 15 years old. Just found out about SA this year so I am pretty new to all these and finding this forum is awesome because I can just rant about stuff. I think what made me search for my symptoms was because I had to go for a work attachment interview in school and was freaking out. And so out of curiosity, I googled about my symptoms and ta-da! Its the holiday season now and I have got lots of homework. Since I am taking my O level next year my holiday is fully booked with tuitions and CCAs. Life sucks..... Add me as friend here or PM me yeah I should be getting some sleep now. Goodnight!


Haha u dont hv to feel awkward since we're all sufferers of the same problem, and we don't judge.

At first I was really happy when I found this support grp, it's like i've finally found people of the same kind as me. 
So without hesitation, I immediately warm up to everyone and found some good friends here, this has helped me a lot in regaining my confidence, which greatly reduced my SA:yes(although still having trouble dealing with emotions). i'm sure u can too


----------



## Exist3nce

chewren said:


> wad's up? i was awake until very late too  it just that i was not surfing the forum. i'm totally used to sleeping late, it doesn't affect me much.
> 
> its wonderful that you found out about your SA early.i also found out about SA by googling the symptoms, i have improved much since that day.
> i just took my O's this year am still waiting for the results.


Oh hi! How was the paper? Was it hard? I am freaking out for O's already.... Oh btw, gd luk yeah!


----------



## Exist3nce

tensedboy said:


> Haha u dont hv to feel awkward since we're all sufferers of the same problem, and we don't judge.
> 
> At first I was really happy when I found this support grp, it's like i've finally found people of the same kind as me.
> So without hesitation, I immediately warm up to everyone and found some good friends here, this has helped me a lot in regaining my confidence, which greatly reduced my SA:yes(although still having trouble dealing with emotions). i'm sure u can too


Yeah, I was really happy too when I found this forum because I knew I wasn't alone and many people here have symptoms worst than me. My SA is quite stable now I guess since its the holidays so everything is pretty fine


----------



## GodSaveMe

Exist3nce said:


> Hello! Anyone awake now?...I doubt so. Anyways, I can't sleep right now so decided to post random stuff here I know I am not very active around here because I feel kind of awkward joining in the convos but I hope I can participate more I am quite young, probably the the youngest here? I am 15 years old. Just found out about SA this year so I am pretty new to all these and finding this forum is awesome because I can just rant about stuff. I think what made me search for my symptoms was because I had to go for a work attachment interview in school and was freaking out. And so out of curiosity, I googled about my symptoms and ta-da! Its the holiday season now and I have got lots of homework. Since I am taking my O level next year my holiday is fully booked with tuitions and CCAs. Life sucks..... Add me as friend here or PM me yeah I should be getting some sleep now. Goodnight!


Ya good dat u found out ur SA prob early, I found out only abt 17 yrs old..u will find support and friends here :b


----------



## GodSaveMe

tensedboy said:


> Haha u dont hv to feel awkward since we're all sufferers of the same problem, and we don't judge.
> 
> At first I was really happy when I found this support grp, it's like i've finally found people of the same kind as me.
> So without hesitation, I immediately warm up to everyone and found some good friends here, this has helped me a lot in regaining my confidence, which greatly reduced my SA:yes(although still having trouble dealing with emotions). i'm sure u can too


Ya Im trying hard to handle my emotions too. I realise if I dont take it too personal or dont take it too seriously abt other people's remarks or their body language towards me, my social anxiety will decrease and I will feel more peaceful with myself. With a peaceful mind, then I will be able to handle my daily life chores and work tasks with lesser anxiety. Im also trying short 10min meditation every morning with a blank peaceful mind, it seems to calm me down on & off throughout the day. Im quite excited abt this new thing that is happening to me now. Try it folks, it may help u too :boogie


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## GodSaveMe

wah how come suddenly nobody talk in the forum one? how r u all leh? Coping well with life bo?


----------



## nerdynerd

Hi Exist3nce! Me is 15 and taking O Levels next year too! Hello and welcome!


----------



## reliefseeker

GodSaveMe said:


> wah how come suddenly nobody talk in the forum one? how r u all leh? Coping well with life bo?


I'm okay


----------



## samuel89

Do anyone/group going out on Christmas day? i don't wanted pass my #22th Christmas alone xD. let go count down on Christmas day perhaps .


----------



## reliefseeker

samuel89 said:


> Do anyone/group going out on Christmas day? i don't wanted pass my #22th Christmas alone xD. let go count down on Christmas day perhaps .


i thought of that too...maybe we'll organise an event on that day or smth. but still need to see the response/interest from the ppl here first haha


----------



## GodSaveMe

tensedboy said:


> Horrible presentation i hv today:no
> 
> Really feel like burying myself after presenting that load of crap i've done to everyone.
> worst of all, my classmates must be laughing and looking down at me now hahahaaaaaaaa........
> 
> seriously, i need someone to shoot me with a gun please.


Ya me last time in school tutorial assignment presentation, I hv to wear turtle neck t-shirt, so that my classmates cant see me swallowing saliva many times when I struggle to speak in front of class. Im very scare of school presentation, I think I can die in front of the class due to extreme embarrassment & anxiety. After presentation, I will feel very lousy & want to hide in a dark box & cry. Luckily now my work no need to do presentation, otherwise I will be in a state of anxiety everyday.:sus


----------



## GodSaveMe

tensedboy said:


> Struggling like hell in school other than that.....
> everyday surfing net, eat, sleep, think and dwell on some things,
> nobody & nothing to talk to. i thought of taking part in some activities but it will only hold back my academic performance.....furthermore, i'm not doing so well in my studies atm....
> 
> i just wanna take an escape from this world, everything's so pointless and nothing positive happened in my life, yet severely lacking encouragement, motivation.... i don't have much reason to carry on anymore besides, well....family and closed ones, of course.
> 
> sighs...seems like i'm too tired and troubled to string one proper sentence together,
> dont think people will understand what i'm talking about haha.


BTW, ur HP no. is back to normal tel no. already? Rather than 100% everyday dwell in unhappiness anxiety, pick up a hobby dat u like, at least that hobby 10% will take reduce ur unhappiness anxiety to 90% everyday. 90% unhappy is still better than 100% unhappy yah. Slowly build up more little happy thoughts or little happy events in ur life to reduce the 100% unhappiness in life. Then u will become happier eventually. Learn to appreciate little happy thoughts, which may be small or insignificant but when accumulated in ur brain overtime, can become a strong positive force to counter anxiety unhappiness.


----------



## samuel89

tensedboy said:


> i thought of that too...maybe we'll organise an event on that day or smth. but still need to see the response/interest from the ppl here first haha


That will be great:clap pm me if there a event on Christmas, maybe we can count down on christmas eve :clap


----------



## reliefseeker

GodSaveMe said:


> BTW, ur HP no. is back to normal tel no. already? Rather than 100% everyday dwell in unhappiness anxiety, pick up a hobby dat u like, at least that hobby 10% will take reduce ur unhappiness anxiety to 90% everyday. 90% unhappy is still better than 100% unhappy yah. Slowly build up more little happy thoughts or little happy events in ur life to reduce the 100% unhappiness in life. Then u will become happier eventually. Learn to appreciate little happy thoughts, which may be small or insignificant but when accumulated in ur brain overtime, can become a strong positive force to counter anxiety unhappiness.


ya, my old number will be activated latest by today


----------



## reliefseeker

samuel89 said:


> That will be great:clap pm me if there a event on Christmas, maybe we can count down on christmas eve :clap


 no prob  but make sure ur here to check my PM haha.


----------



## samuel89

tensedboy said:


> no prob  but make sure ur here to check my PM haha.


sure.:clap


----------



## reliefseeker

Can all those who have saved my phone number in their contact list, please PM me your number can? My phonelist is empty at the moment, i hope i dont lost contact with some of the members here :no


----------



## cwq

samuel89 said:


> Do anyone/group going out on Christmas day? i don't wanted pass my #22th Christmas alone xD. let go count down on Christmas day perhaps .


Sure


----------



## cwq

tensedboy said:


> Struggling like hell in school other than that.....
> everyday surfing net, eat, sleep, think and dwell on some things,
> nobody & nothing to talk to. i thought of taking part in some activities but it will only hold back my academic performance.....furthermore, i'm not doing so well in my studies atm....
> 
> i just wanna take an escape from this world, everything's so pointless and nothing positive happened in my life, yet severely lacking encouragement, motivation.... i don't have much reason to carry on anymore besides, well....family and closed ones, of course.
> 
> sighs...seems like i'm too tired and troubled to string one proper sentence together,
> dont think people will understand what i'm talking about haha.


Pick up a hobby or something you would like to develop. Set a goal & works toward that goal. Join the events and activities provided by the CC, you can learn something, recreation and get to know more ppl in ur neighbourhood. For example, if you would like to develop your body, the research, planning & training will take up a lot of your time and keep ur mind from*钻牛角尖.


----------



## Lyt

tensedboy said:


> Horrible presentation i hv today:no
> 
> Really feel like burying myself after presenting that load of crap i've done to everyone.
> worst of all, my classmates must be laughing and looking down at me now hahahaaaaaaaa........
> 
> seriously, i need someone to shoot me with a gun please.


Ok, I can totally relate to this one. My anxiety will sky rocket during presentations and I often have the perceptions that my classmates think I'm weird. But what had happened had already happened. I guess...what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger.


----------



## cwq

Hi everyone, We are celebrating Xmas eve and if you happen to be free on that day you are most welcome to join us. We will be going for for a movie followed by dinner, after that we have some choices where to go.


----------



## nerdynerd

Hi guys how are you all doing? Haven't been on this site lately cause I deleted this page from my bookmarks (afraid my family would see them :/) 

Anyway, here's wishing everyone a happy christmas! I hope you all feel better


----------



## reliefseeker

nerdynerd said:


> Hi guys how are you all doing? Haven't been on this site lately cause I deleted this page from my bookmarks (afraid my family would see them :/)
> 
> Anyway, here's wishing everyone a happy christmas! I hope you all feel better


I'm fine 

Anyway early merry christmas, hope u hv fun with ur friends and family


----------



## cwq

nerdynerd said:


> Hi guys how are you all doing? Haven't been on this site lately cause I deleted this page from my bookmarks (afraid my family would see them :/)
> 
> Anyway, here's wishing everyone a happy christmas! I hope you all feel better


Merry Xmas to you too Nerdygal. Hope you are happy and never have to come here again.


----------



## nerdynerd

cwq said:


> Merry Xmas to you too Nerdygal. Hope you are happy and never have to come here again.


Don't say that leh.. Makes me kinda guilty for being happy...


----------



## cwq

nerdynerd said:


> Don't say that leh.. Makes me kinda guilty for being happy...


Nope, I wasnt trying to be sarcastic..?


----------



## cwq

tensedboy said:


> Any other sg support group still lying around elsewhere besides this one? (doesn't hv to be SA-based, other mental illnesses perhaps)
> I need a safer place where they're genuine sa/depression sufferers who are more understanding, supportive towards each other, and willing to make friends.
> 
> At the moment, I still have doubts in sharing my problems with this group. Maybe I'll think 10 times over before posting here next time haha.... :|


Awww i am sorry you feel that way, i feel sad when you said that. It almost sounded like your rejecting us. Have you not found friends in Belinda, Me, Chewren and others? Why do you think we are not genuine? We are all trying to handle our problems in our own ways and there may be some who really just isnt comfortable at all coming forward. And.. whats this talk about you needing a safer place? Whats not safe for you here?


----------



## reliefseeker

cwq said:


> Awww i am sorry you feel that way, i feel sad when you said that. It almost sounded like your rejecting us.
> 
> Why do you think we are not genuine? We are all trying to handle our problems in our own ways and there may be some who really just isnt comfortable at all coming forward. And.. whats this talk about you needing a safer place? Whats not safe for you here?


No, not at all.

Since this is a public forum, i really should have thought twice before posting stuffs here.

In fact i hv this feeling that all my posts might end up being used as a tool to make others feel better.

Apart from that, i'm happy that u guys are always there to help whenever i'm voicing out my frustrations here. But it seems like i'm overdoing it at the moment.

Tink i'll stop posting here next time. 
i don't wanna be looked down by other members who might find me a weirdo, failure after reading all my posts, and therefore turned them off completely.


----------



## GodSaveMe

Hi folks,
Pls continue to post in this SA forum, it should be a forum for all of us SA sufferers to voice our sadness, anxiety, unhappiness, anger that we are suffering from everyday. We should stand united to fight against SA together, & NOT create more anxiety & anger among ourselves. We are definitely NOT complicated beings who laugh at others' sufferings. We are all simple peace loving folks who just need more people to understand us, so that we could be bit more happy living in this world. We are already suffering from anxiety due to extreme shyness and cant communicate properly face-to-face with people daily. If we still cut ourselves away from just simply writing in this forum, then we are really very pitiful people who has limited avenue to air our sufferings.


----------



## Lyt

tensedboy said:


> No, not at all.
> 
> Since this is a public forum, i really should have thought twice before posting stuffs here.
> 
> In fact i hv this feeling that all my posts might end up being used as a tool to make others feel better.
> 
> Apart from that, i'm happy that u guys are always there to help whenever i'm voicing out my frustrations here. But it seems like i'm overdoing it at the moment.
> 
> Tink i'll stop posting here next time.
> i don't wanna be looked down by other members who might find me a weirdo, failure after reading all my posts, and therefore turned them off completely.


But other members like me also suffers the same thing as you. So why do you think people will imagine you as a weirdo or failure? I know the feeling of what you mean by 'overdoing', but sometimes frustrations just had to be let out. This is one of the channel for you to vent!


----------



## reliefseeker

Ignore my earlier posts, its full of rubbish anyway,
but what i said about thinking twice before posting here is true though....

I'm just quite concerned about what kinda response i'll get after posting certain stuffs here, even to the extent where i assume some of my posts has left a negative impression on other people. 

Anyway who's keen for an outing this week(thurs/fri/sat)? Need more SA members to join us and overcome our fears together:yes


----------



## cwq

I will be seeing a new counsellor soon and i am looking forward to how she might help me with my SAD. She looks young & recently graduated, it will probably be a learning experience for her but thats just my presumption, keeping my fingers cross.. heck, i aint paying anything to see her so i should just be grateful and hope that i can benefit from the therapy.

I will be training at a new location for my fighting lesson soon. New environment and people always brought about uneasiness in me. I was catastrophising and worrying about how they will judge/think of me and how they will treat me. I somehow managed to push away the negative and non helpful thoughts, not letting them establish a grip on me. Just waiting for the day to come. I think the new place will better for health and fitness with the facilities that are available, i hope to be able to make use of them to improve my fitness.


----------



## cwq

tensedboy said:


> Ignore my earlier posts, its full of rubbish anyway,
> but what i said about thinking twice before posting here is true though....
> 
> I'm just quite concerned about what kinda response i'll get after posting certain stuffs here, even to the extent where i assume some of my posts has left a negative impression on other people.
> 
> Anyway who's keen for an outing this week(thurs/fri/sat)? Need more SA members to join us and overcome our fears together:yes


Why do you think its rubbish? Is the rubbish troubling you, then maybe you should dump the rubbish out? Dnt be trapped in your own mind.


----------



## cwq

Happy New Year everyone!


----------



## Ruination

Happy New Year guys.


----------



## otakux

Happy New Year ! another year ahead , lets fight SA together !


----------



## chewren

spirit79 said:


> Hi Sg-eans... I'm not new, joined here a while ago, but left because I didnt have to, or wanted to worry about SA, as I was having my holidays. It's the first day of school tomorrow though and it's hard not to think about it. The thing is I will be the only one who doesn't really know any body in my new class. Because I've been quiet all along in Sec 2 and I only had 2 friends who are going to different classes. *sorry* for venting anyway. I know it's a new year. Don't want to spoil anyone's mood, so I'll stop here. I just dont want to go school tomorrow... so so badly


i understands how you feel,cuz i had same experienced this before, i had zero friends. The things is, you have to get rid of those negative emotions and worries.

In a place where no one can disturb you, close your eyes and take deep breathes. now try to think about stuff that are in your mind, (maybe about classmates) then as you breathe out, release the thoughts out.


----------



## reliefseeker

Hey fellow SA sufferers..... if u joined this forum not too long ago, pls take note that we have a singapore SAS facebook group set up for every1 here. 
besides, we also have regular group chats there as well. So its a good way for us to know each other better. 
So do PM or add one of us here, if u wanna join the group.

PS: the secret group is only viewable to members, only friends can be invited)


----------



## Ruination

Hi guys, just wanted to ask those who have SA, how did you manage to survive NS? 

I personally am having a really hard time there, almost to a point where I just want to end it all. I am not officially diagnosed with SA and probably won't because I don't experience many of the physical symptoms and don't wish to get labelled as ck and be charged. It's a lonely life there for me and I am not feeling comfortable at all with all the team spirit going on, it's really scary and although they don't say it, I have a feeling that my mates all despise me because I keep screwing things up and refuse to talk most of the time. 

So guys, did you just go through NS normally or what?


----------



## Ruination

spirit79 said:


> yes i do try not to think about it or throw the thoughts out but it's not that easy. avoidance is not the solution. honestly if you really experienced what i'm facing now, you'll know that its really torturing to lead a life like that.. and school is not exactly something you can avoid either
> 
> i'm sitting alone now in class, and i'm the only one who does that. i can already tell that school life is going to suck. especially in group projects. i'm also going to get really isolated at this rate.. i already feel like im being judged more because i'm the odd one out.
> 
> sighs. we've been asked to do self-introductions for almost every 'new' subject now. and i'm always the one who appears so tense. even when i sit beside someone(whom i dont know well) i'm nervous. i dont know how im going to cope with sec3 life at this rate.


Hi spirit79, I can totally relate to how you feel too. I was a sad, lonely and miserable guy for almost the whole 4 years of my secondary school life. I eat alone, sit alone when people are chatting away and when it's time to do group projects, that's when the sh*t hits the fan and I start to get nervous and feel helpless. I play truant a lot because I couldn't take the socializing and my grades were so horrible that I almost had to repeat a year in secondary three, don't be like me. I always envy the people who have social lives, it's like things go smoothly for them and I keep stumbling over to no avail.

Try to focus your thoughts on studying and getting good grades instead of the fact that you are lonely. You do have some freedom to be a "loner" in school (example: Just don't go to school when you don't feel like it, skip meals if you hate eating alone etc. Note : I am not encouraging anyone to do that, I am just highlighting) sans the occasional team projects in secondary school so try to think on the positive side on things. I don't know how else I can help you as I myself am in a similar predicament but if you ever need to talk to someone, I am sure most would be willing to help.


----------



## cwq

Ruination said:


> Hi guys, just wanted to ask those who have SA, how did you manage to survive NS?
> 
> I personally am having a really hard time there, almost to a point where I just want to end it all. I am not officially diagnosed with SA and probably won't because I don't experience many of the physical symptoms and don't wish to get labelled as ck and be charged. It's a lonely life there for me and I am not feeling comfortable at all with all the team spirit going on, it's really scary and although they don't say it, I have a feeling that my mates all despise me because I keep screwing things up and refuse to talk most of the time.
> 
> So guys, did you just go through NS normally or what?


Oh yes..those were very difficult times for me, i remembered i had felt so helpless, despaired, lonely & depressed.. I dnt know how i got thru it or how i got thru my whole frickin life after that, i guess i just endured it and ROFL FML thru it..
Do you have anyone to talk to about it? I guess i can only offer to bring you to a counsellor so you can pour out your heart to and maybe receive some guidance and therapy? And also there will be friends here you can make. Do you wanna join our facebook group? There will be chats and meetups organised there.


----------



## Ruination

cwq said:


> Oh yes..those were very difficult times for me, i remembered i had felt so helpless, despaired, lonely & depressed.. I dnt know how i got thru it or how i got thru my whole frickin life after that, i guess i just endured it and ROFL FML thru it..
> Do you have anyone to talk to about it? I guess i can only offer to bring you to a counsellor so you can pour out your heart to and maybe receive some guidance and therapy? And also there will be friends here you can make. Do you wanna join our facebook group? There will be chats and meetups organised there.


I have absolutely no one I can talk to. I just feel really dreadful and lonely nowadays in camp and I don't know how much longer I can go on before I do something drastic. Tomorrow still need to book in, ugh!! It's just so...I don't know how to say anymore...I am at a total loss for words. Sorry.


----------



## chewren

update: i had done quite badly for my o levels even though i had tried my best to self-study in the 5 months period. due to SA, this is probably the first time i took exam seriously. i can't even get into higher nitec as i had extra one point on my math... i really need suggestion from you guys.what should i do? 
1.appeal
2.go ns first then take O/go ite
3.ite nitec april intake.

somehow i felt jealous on those ppl without SA who had teacher's guidance or had a group of friends to study with and scored very well.
i really hate you SA, you made me unable to focus in school, to do the things i like to do,to make friends and be able to express myself.


i know that the past cannot be changed and i should plan on what's ahead of me.
by now most of the SA are gone, but what remaining are still torturing me but it wasn't as bad as it was the last time.


----------



## cwq

MrStar are you still around? Please msg me.


----------



## GodSaveMe

Ruination said:


> Hi spirit79, I can totally relate to how you feel too. I was a sad, lonely and miserable guy for almost the whole 4 years of my secondary school life. I eat alone, sit alone when people are chatting away and when it's time to do group projects, that's when the sh*t hits the fan and I start to get nervous and feel helpless. I play truant a lot because I couldn't take the socializing and my grades were so horrible that I almost had to repeat a year in secondary three, don't be like me. I always envy the people who have social lives, it's like things go smoothly for them and I keep stumbling over to no avail.
> 
> Try to focus your thoughts on studying and getting good grades instead of the fact that you are lonely. You do have some freedom to be a "loner" in school (example: Just don't go to school when you don't feel like it, skip meals if you hate eating alone etc. Note : I am not encouraging anyone to do that, I am just highlighting) sans the occasional team projects in secondary school so try to think on the positive side on things. I don't know how else I can help you as I myself am in a similar predicament but if you ever need to talk to someone, I am sure most would be willing to help.


Hi spirit79, Ruination is right, focus ur energy in ur studies. I was like u in school, sat alone in class as I am nervous and keeps swallowing saliva when I need to talk to classmates, so they find me weird and dont find me interesting as a friend. So I ended up sitting alone and very depressed. I am also in a lot of anxiety whenever I need to stand up in class to introduce myself, I think I can die fr nervousness during those moments. As I am handicapped in making friends, I decided to channel my energy & time to doing my best for my studies. Its definitely better to cope well in studies but not so good in making friends, as COMPARED to fail in studies and also fail in making friends. There is HOPE and support from all of us here, because we can feel exactly how hurtful it is to be rejected by friends, u r not alone, we r ur friends.


----------



## t0day2day

tensedboy said:


> I think i'm at the worst time of my life now. Had a bad gastric attack which gives me non-stop anxiety, and the feeling of being nauseated makes scared for the whole day because i have a huge fear of puking. Now I'm feeling damn horrible due to the nausea. It's like i'm trying whatever it takes not to puke, by chewing sweets, swallowing saliva, but the crappy feeling is catching up to me. I hope I can last until tmr without puking.


Maybe you should see a doctor for that gastric pain?

Btw for those who are working, what jobs are you all doing, and how do you all get through the day with your SA at the workplace?


----------



## reliefseeker

t0day2day said:


> Maybe you should see a doctor for that gastric pain?


Yeah went to polyclinic this morning, and according to the doctor I saw just now, seems like it's acid reflux.


----------



## Kei Lee

So are there meetups happening or not? i'm currently in KL but plan to move to Singapore for work this year...


----------



## reliefseeker

Kei Lee said:


> So are there meetups happening or not? i'm currently in KL but plan to move to Singapore for work this year...


Yup there are already a few outings since the year has started :yes


----------



## cwq

Kei Lee said:


> So are there meetups happening or not? i'm currently in KL but plan to move to Singapore for work this year...


We have meetups pretty regularly, looking forward to having you in singapore =)


----------



## reliefseeker

Possible SA-outing this sat evening, PM me if interested.


----------



## Ironpain

It's incredible that this thread has gotten more comments and views than my Toronto thread wow Singapores a pretty popular place for social anxiety groups and I haven't read through all the posts but I assume that there are more people from Sinagpore here than anywhere else but you have a huge turn out,


----------



## GodSaveMe

t0day2day said:


> Maybe you should see a doctor for that gastric pain?
> 
> Btw for those who are working, what jobs are you all doing, and how do you all get through the day with your SA at the workplace?


I hv SA everyday at work and my workload is heavy & got to meet deadlines everyday. So I wont talk much during work and try to clear as much work as I can. When the work anxiety builds up during the day, I will try to take a break by resting my eyes or drink water & go toilet or do some back exercises or do some shut-eye meditation to slow down racing anxiety thoughts in my mind. Else I dont think I can tolerate so much anxiety which will drain most of my energy at the end of the day. Wat abt you, how u handle SA at work, t0day2day?


----------



## t0day2day

GodSaveMe said:


> I hv SA everyday at work and my workload is heavy & got to meet deadlines everyday. So I wont talk much during work and try to clear as much work as I can. When the work anxiety builds up during the day, I will try to take a break by resting my eyes or drink water & go toilet or do some back exercises or do some shut-eye meditation to slow down racing anxiety thoughts in my mind. Else I dont think I can tolerate so much anxiety which will drain most of my energy at the end of the day. Wat abt you, how u handle SA at work, t0day2day?


I don't talk to my colleagues very much, I only know 2 of them a bit better, so I mostly talk with these 2 if I need to, I don't talk the rest very much at all


----------



## reliefseeker

Ironpain said:


> It's incredible that this thread has gotten more comments and views than my Toronto thread wow Singapores a pretty popular place for social anxiety groups and I haven't read through all the posts but I assume that there are more people from Sinagpore here than anywhere else but you have a huge turn out,


Yeah, i guess its because of the lack of support groups in Singapore....


----------



## Aalette

Hi guys! I'm new here and am interested in joining ur group?


----------



## otakux

hi bro, pm me ur contact


----------



## ufotofu

Hey guys, I'm also new here.. just joined.


----------



## ufotofu

ufotofu said:


> Hey guys, I'm also new here.. just joined.


I'm surprised and comforted to know that there are so many people going through the same thing as me. I dont feel so alone now.


----------



## Aalette

Yeah same here!  btw otakux, how do I pm you? Not really used to posting forums


----------



## cwq

Hi welcome! Care to share a bit about yourselves?


----------



## Aalette

Nth new, been a loner since, like, forever. Not even my own family knows abt my condition. As time went on, I don't find it so uncomfortable talking to people, which is great cos it means my condition is gradually improving, but I still can't seem to make any friends. Btw, I heard that you guys organize outing together. May I know when's the next one cos i really want to join. I'm dying of boredom being holed up at home. And also, anyone here in their late teens? I'd feel more comfortable knowing there are people who are around my age group


----------



## reliefseeker

Who wants to join their peer support group? 
http://www.samhealth.org.sg/services.php

I read that there will be group therapy held on the first monday of every month, and this is a good oppurtunity to make friends and practise social skills.

For me, I have just joined the group and really hope to see more members here joining it :yes


----------



## chewren

update:
i have just started school at ite east, taking nursing course.
it was quite exhausted thought it was fun through the orientation and knowing my classmates.
i could still feel the anxiety in me but it wasn't as bad as last time.
guess what? i was chosen as the co leader of the class.
The new target to become a better leader ,makes me feel like i want to beat sa even more.
that's all, wish me luck


----------



## archdevil

Hi all, am new here but have been lurking around ever since I realised my anxiety was way abnormal. And it really helps to know that there are others around, I'm not alone. I'm actually seeing a psychologist thru the polyclinic but might change to a psychiatrist soon since it's not really effective because i kmow a psychologist can't do much like prescribing medication and they are not well versed in the art of CBT. But actually I wouls like to ask if I can walk into any clinic and ask the GP to prescrobe anxiety medication for me? Cause my psychologiat asked me to do that but I'm not sure. my exams are like nxt thursday so im worried my anxiety will act up and I need a Just In case! and does anyone knows any psychiatrist that is good? Preferably a govt org one, since it would be cheaper as it is subsidised! Thanks!


----------



## KLKCAhBoy90

Hi, I'm new here and I have been much of a loner in school since young. I have a small group of close friends from secondary school but that is pretty much all I have and if there are any meetups, do invite me because I think it's about time I get over my lack of social skills and meet up with more people.


----------



## reliefseeker

archdevil said:


> Hi all, am new here but have been lurking around ever since I realised my anxiety was way abnormal. And it really helps to know that there are others around, I'm not alone. I'm actually seeing a psychologist thru the polyclinic but might change to a psychiatrist soon since it's not really effective because i kmow a psychologist can't do much like prescribing medication and they are not well versed in the art of CBT. But actually I wouls like to ask if I can walk into any clinic and ask the GP to prescrobe anxiety medication for me? Cause my psychologiat asked me to do that but I'm not sure. my exams are like nxt thursday so im worried my anxiety will act up and I need a Just In case! and does anyone knows any psychiatrist that is good? Preferably a govt org one, since it would be cheaper as it is subsidised! Thanks!


First of all welcome :yes
As far as I know, you'll need a referral letter from the GP to see a psychiatrist who will then prescribe u the medications according to the diagnosis, otherwise I dont think its possible to obtain medications through seeing a regular doctor...

Anyway all the best and hope u make it thru for ur exams ^^


----------



## AnxiousT

Hi besides SAD who else has other anxiety disorders diagnosed ;GAD or panic attacks disorder. Anyone seeing the pdoc BrianYeo? Care to share feedback on him For treatments.

Cheers


----------



## reversethecurse

Is the groups still active?The sganxiety site seems down


----------



## reliefseeker

reversethecurse said:


> Is the groups still active?The sganxiety site seems down


Yes it is active, but as of now the chat site is expired, and it now operates inside a secret facebook group, I can add u in if u want.


----------



## reversethecurse

Too bad i don't use facebook,well if there are any updates can u post them here.


----------



## reliefseeker

AnxiousT said:


> Hi besides SAD who else has other anxiety disorders diagnosed ;GAD or panic attacks disorder.
> Cheers


I haven't got diagnosed but recently I had several bad panic attacks due to the extreme fear of losing control and throwing up. It's been a horrible experience so far.......Anyone also been through the same thing? :no


----------



## thelostcookie

AnxiousT said:


> Hi besides SAD who else has other anxiety disorders diagnosed ;GAD or panic attacks disorder. Anyone seeing the pdoc BrianYeo? Care to share feedback on him For treatments.
> 
> Cheers


Hi there, how's everyone? Not sure if this thread is still active..I'm surprised there actually is an SAD support group in Singapore  Been stranded at home 'cause of SAD and other random anxieties which I still don't understand and probably never will. And people out there don't seem to understand, and you're always wondering if they think you're a freak for always 'wanting' to be alone and afraid of people.

Anyway, was just reading through but your post compelled me to sign up and reply. I was under Brian Yeo for a bit for major depression, did not feel like he really cared nor listened, merely prescribed lots of drugs which not being in the right mind, I ended up not taking. I soon switched to another doctor & was hospitalized. That was years ago though, perhaps he's better now.


----------



## reliefseeker

thelostcookie said:


> Hi there, how's everyone? Not sure if this thread is still active..I'm surprised there actually is an SAD support group in Singapore
> .


Hey welcome
Ya this thread is still active, for me i'm always lurking and posting around the forum, so u can find me posting replies all the time lol


----------



## thelostcookie

tensedboy said:


> Hey welcome
> Ya this thread is still active, for me i'm always lurking and posting around the forum, so u can find me posting replies all the time lol


Hi, lol that's cool. Nice to meet you


----------



## Freshie10

Hi guys, am new here. Would like to get to know more of others like me. I definitely feel that in our society, we don't like to talk about this issue to others. Even when one person with SA recognises it in another who say, is a good friend, your friend will never admit they have this problem. Even if they're secretly seeking treatment for it. Coming from my own experience, it seems people like to avoid this problem at all costs. Even your family members, they just don't like to see it as a 'problem'. Therefore, I have never quite identified and come to grips with this 'problem' for many years, which started in my teens. Now that I'm starting out kinda new in the workforce, am quite self-aware and continually reflecting my circumstances over the years, and am striving to tackle it. Definitely hope to hear back from others here!


----------



## reliefseeker

Freshie10 said:


> Hi guys, am new here. Would like to get to know more of others like me. I definitely feel that in our society, we don't like to talk about this issue to others. Even when one person with SA recognises it in another who say, is a good friend, your friend will never admit they have this problem. Even if they're secretly seeking treatment for it. Coming from my own experience, it seems people like to avoid this problem at all costs. Even your family members, they just don't like to see it as a 'problem'. Therefore, I have never quite identified and come to grips with this 'problem' for many years, which started in my teens. Now that I'm starting out kinda new in the workforce, am quite self-aware and continually reflecting my circumstances over the years, and am striving to tackle it. Definitely hope to hear back from others here!


Hey welcome fellow SA sufferer! 
I believe most people do suffer SA at some point of their lives too. It just depends on how severe their condition is and how they control it.

Everyone has different ways of coping their own stress, some would prefer to share it with others and some would keep it to themselves.....I believe the latter is more common because of the fear of being seen as "weak", so ya.....


----------



## GodSaveMe

think I still prefer to voice out my sad anxious feelings whenever I am down due to social anxiety attack. Coz when I dont voice out, I will feel v depressed and scare I may explode emotionally 1 day which will be detrimental to my brain. 

I have another down day today, feeling tensed on & off whenever there are familiar people around me in my workplace. When my colleagues chatted in the office, I dont hv the strength to talk much, coz I scare they see my eyes which keep blinking and they may think why I dont really smile and keep working on the computer & why I can nervous even during chatting. The sad thing is they dont know I hv social anxiety.

Sometimes, I wonder why other people can smile so easily, but its quite hard for me to smile freely. I hv been suffering from social phobia for abt 20yrs now and Im really v tired hving to struggle with SA in my life. Guess I cant get rid of SA completely, I just hv to learn to cope & live with SA this life.

Recently Im down with a bad cough and the cough medicine has definitely worsen my SA, I feel more anxious talking to people, as the med has make me sleepy & tired & more dull person & harder to smile now.

Then this coming sat & sun, I hv to attend dinner for these 2 days for belated happy mother's day celebration with my families and my hubby's families. Im got anxious thoughts abt it, scare I may not be able to interact or smile normally with the folks due to my social phobia. I may resort to pop xanax to calm myself down, but I very reluctant to take xanax coz Im scare of its disgusting mental side effects when xanax wears off. Sigh~ We will see how it goes then.

At least I feel bit better now, having to write here to release some of my depressed feelings, thanks for reading folks, at least u all know how I feel as a social anxiety sufferer.


----------



## Freshie10

^hi godsavesme. It's so funny, because ur so not alone! Part of wht u described today, I also experience some of this at work.Guess as SA, social interactions are definitely more daunting to us. When we try hard, we seem awkward and wht we say are sometimes misunderstood. And the 'unfriendly' vibes we give off are always misunderstood. One strategy I've learned is to look like ur interested even though ur feeling very self-conscious, and to laugh when others laugh. Nodding to wht people say when they're talking directly to u shows or seems to show ur listening quite intently to wht they're saying. Body language really says a lot. When there's awkward silences, try to ask something frm the other party. If not, they will take ur silence and tense expression as weird and hostile. And don't stare at ppl, haha. They always know when ur staring at them and they think u disapprove of them or something. Others are actually as self-conscious than we give them credit for. Anyway, I'm sure the food will be food for u over the wkend! Family gatherings are meant to be chilled and lots to catch up yeah.


----------



## Freshie10

I meant, the food will be great, so enjoy it  typing frm my phone means strange auto-corrected words, lol. Hey, at least you'll have some group activity to look forward to. I usually come off a bit of high, esp when a group activity im part of, was even moderately successful. Heh.


----------



## NoTea

Hi, just found this forum recently. would like to know anyone tried Dr Tommy Tan, a psychiatrist at Novena Psychiatry Clinic before? Also if i want to check whether am I suffering from SA althought i am quite sure i am, therefore, would going to a psychiatrist be better or psychologist or both are fine? Thanks alot.


----------



## reliefseeker

Sup every1, our SAS chat site is back @ http://skssg.com/pfchat 
pls do drop by and say hi there


----------



## Freshie10

NoTea said:


> Hi, just found this forum recently. would like to know anyone tried Dr Tommy Tan, a psychiatrist at Novena Psychiatry Clinic before? Also if i want to check whether am I suffering from SA althought i am quite sure i am, therefore, would going to a psychiatrist be better or psychologist or both are fine? Thanks alot.[/Q
> 
> i thionk a psychologist will evaluate if u need meds, and the psychiatrist will prescribe the relevant meds to u. A Psychologist is for the long-run. I've only tried NUH before., so, can't help u there on how Dr Tan is like. Nice having u on the forum (join our fb grp?)! I'm new too!


----------



## GodSaveMe

Freshie10 said:


> I meant, the food will be great, so enjoy it  typing frm my phone means strange auto-corrected words, lol. Hey, at least you'll have some group activity to look forward to. I usually come off a bit of high, esp when a group activity im part of, was even moderately successful. Heh.


Hi freshie10, yah I managed to go thru the 2dinners without xanax, but still feel quite tensed amidst some chats over those dinners lor. Guess my anxiety disorder will always be with me tis life time, haiz...in fact I'm mostly tensed when in chats with people...it's quite tough for my daily life, but I still need to face humans somehow...bcoz I realize dat the more I avoid humans, my anxiety will become worse. I got do some breathing exercises to relieve some anxiety.


----------



## GodSaveMe

NoTea said:


> Hi, just found this forum recently. would like to know anyone tried Dr Tommy Tan, a psychiatrist at Novena Psychiatry Clinic before? Also if i want to check whether am I suffering from SA althought i am quite sure i am, therefore, would going to a psychiatrist be better or psychologist or both are fine? Thanks alot.


Hi notea, if u really can't tahan the emotional pains of SA already, then maybe u can try some medication fr psychiatrist, and at the same time try to combine CBT(cognitive behavioral therapy) in ur battle against SA, it should be able to bring back some happiness in your life. I was on medication from Nuh, coz I was really in a bad shape mentally from the tortures of SA.


----------



## GodSaveMe

thelostcookie said:


> Hi there, how's everyone? Not sure if this thread is still active..I'm surprised there actually is an SAD support group in Singapore  Been stranded at home 'cause of SAD and other random anxieties which I still don't understand and probably never will. And people out there don't seem to understand, and you're always wondering if they think you're a freak for always 'wanting' to be alone and afraid of people.
> 
> Anyway, was just reading through but your post compelled me to sign up and reply. I was under Brian Yeo for a bit for major depression, did not feel like he really cared nor listened, merely prescribed lots of drugs which not being in the right mind, I ended up not taking. I soon switched to another doctor & was hospitalized. That was years ago though, perhaps he's better now.


Hi lostcookie, u r not alone, I'm like u, Im most calm when I'm alone and I hv fear of talking to people. Im most tensed when in group of familiar people since young, to date I'm still trying hard to overcome tis fear. Really not easy. So wat triggered ur hospitalization?


----------



## GodSaveMe

KLKCAhBoy90 said:


> Hi, I'm new here and I have been much of a loner in school since young. I have a small group of close friends from secondary school but that is pretty much all I have and if there are any meetups, do invite me because I think it's about time I get over my lack of social skills and meet up with more people.


Ya think the more u expose ur self to humans, the anxiety will reduce overtime. I'm a loner since when I'm a kid and now grow up already, is stil very much a loner. But don't think I want to be a loner forever coz the feeling is very down, think I need to connect to people even if I'm scare, coz I need to feel some happiness in life too.


----------



## Qookie

Hey guys!! I hope I'm a breath of fresh air because I'm new here!!
(okay just kidding, or why else would I be here..)

I'm from Malaysia and just joined in - I guess we are separated in borderlines but united in this nasty nasty disorder. Personally this is the biggest hindrance in all our lives! In fact, I would take the risk to go over Singapore just to have a meet up with you guys.

From my own findings, SAD is a reality in my life. It's not overcame but discovering this is real is probably the most necessary step to move on. And from the bottom of my heart, I hope everyone here will move on instead of continuous brooding, although it really is necessary to vent our frustrations.. it really is.

Mine is not a general anxiety but specific ones, but the REALLY important ones, like work. I just quit my job after a week due to the anxiety I go through and it really is the most helpless feeling - especially when you know it isn't because of competency, or lack of this and that, it's a fear. Something so intangible the people we want to share it with is exactly the people we are afraid of.

Sigh, you guys really are the closest people I know..


----------



## GodSaveMe

Qookie said:


> Hey guys!! I hope I'm a breath of fresh air because I'm new here!!
> (okay just kidding, or why else would I be here..)
> 
> I'm from Malaysia and just joined in - I guess we are separated in borderlines but united in this nasty nasty disorder. Personally this is the biggest hindrance in all our lives! In fact, I would take the risk to go over Singapore just to have a meet up with you guys.
> 
> From my own findings, SAD is a reality in my life. It's not overcame but discovering this is real is probably the most necessary step to move on. And from the bottom of my heart, I hope everyone here will move on instead of continuous brooding, although it really is necessary to vent our frustrations.. it really is.
> 
> Mine is not a general anxiety but specific ones, but the REALLY important ones, like work. I just quit my job after a week due to the anxiety I go through and it really is the most helpless feeling - especially when you know it isn't because of competency, or lack of this and that, it's a fear. Something so intangible the people we want to share it with is exactly the people we are afraid of.
> 
> Sigh, you guys really are the closest people I know..


Hi Qookie, ya fear is really very crippling in lots things dat we do. I'm sorry to hear dat u quit ur job. Im having social anxiety everyday in office, is also affecting my ability to cope with my work with a clear mind. I take a long time to get close to people in terms of friendship due to I was rejected by some friends when I was much younger, as I don't really know how to socialize well. So now I always keep a distance from people, for fear of being hurt again. Haiz, Im trying to change tis wrong mindset now, so dat I can accept friendships in tis world again. Mine is social anxiety, what is your specific anxiety?


----------



## NoTea

ok thanks alot for you guys replies


----------



## Qookie

GodSaveMe said:


> Hi Qookie, ya fear is really very crippling in lots things dat we do. I'm sorry to hear dat u quit ur job. Im having social anxiety everyday in office, is also affecting my ability to cope with my work with a clear mind. I take a long time to get close to people in terms of friendship due to I was rejected by some friends when I was much younger, as I don't really know how to socialize well. So now I always keep a distance from people, for fear of being hurt again. Haiz, Im trying to change tis wrong mindset now, so dat I can accept friendships in tis world again. Mine is social anxiety, what is your specific anxiety?


Mine is social anxiety - but only in work and certain social circles. I've read a ton of what people go through and it all seems much worse. Currently locating support groups because I want to know how it's like. What's your job field by the way? Mine's design, which makes it tough.


----------



## WonderSotong

-


----------



## Gadflux

Hi, this is my very first post! I've been lurking in this forum for over a year already, and finally decided to register because I just need to talk to someone about my problem. I'm a fresh grad and currently looking for a job, it has been more than a month without any luck, I'm just wasting my life away at home surfing the net and the solitary and depressive future outlook has triggered a couple of strong anxiety episodes that i haven't had in a very long time. So here i am, wishing to know people in singapore who's dealing with the same **** like me. I can't stand being alone anymore, sometimes i cried about the terrible state of life i'm in. Where did it all go wrong


----------



## reversethecurse

Gadflux said:


> the solitary and depressive future outlook


Yeah that's pretty much something i can relate with.It's almost like i try not to be pessimistic and apprehensive towards the future but not being able to see yourself improving because it's been the same for too long makes it easy to see it that way.

anyway welcome to the forum.There's supposed to be an active group but I'm not sure what happened to it.


----------



## reliefseeker

Anyone who wants to join our secret fb/whatsapp group can leave me a PM


----------



## GodSaveMe

Qookie said:


> Mine is social anxiety - but only in work and certain social circles. I've read a ton of what people go through and it all seems much worse. Currently locating support groups because I want to know how it's like. What's your job field by the way? Mine's design, which makes it tough.


Hi Qookie, Im in the insurance Underwriting line doing admin, where there are many sociable & talkative people, which is also as scary as your industry. Thats why to-date Im still in & out of anxiety & depression, as Im still cringing onto my job. No job, no $, what to do? If I dont work, I think my mental illness will be even worsen, coz it means I wil be cut out from the outside world then.


----------



## reliefseeker

tensedboy said:


> Sup every1, our SAS chat site is back @ http://skssg.com/pfchat
> pls do drop by and say hi there


Just a reminder that our chat site is available at the above link


----------



## Miru

Hi Qookie!

I work in the same line as you and just quit my job too cos it was giving me bad thoughts.

It's so hard when my parents hardly see it as a real job ( no bonus no OT pay ) and they undermine my efforts because I've never been in a real relationship ( I don't even see the connection ). Although I know they support me in some way but its not a job they can brag to relatives or friends about. 

Still quite positive in the job outlook though! but came here to seek help and advice before jumping in so as to hopefully keep the new job experience a good one!


----------



## pinoyleonardo

I used to be very shy in school but have managed to overcome that by struggle. however, ti does not come easy. it's always a struggle. Though i do not consider mine as a serious 'social anxiety' it is still an issue. I'm just the quiet introvert type.

Just to share with you what I do. I go out and reach out to others. Too much sticking into the forum will make us more immersed in a surreal world.

Any professionals/ working people here? let's meet up for a chill


----------



## riverboats

Hi guys, I'm new here... glad to see other Singaporeans with SAD too. 
Anyone else here in Uni now too?


----------



## Kaelern

Hey all I'm new here too, I was wondering if you guys have any support group in sg or have organize any meetups ?


----------



## reliefseeker

Kaelern said:


> Hey all I'm new here too, I was wondering if you guys have any support group in sg or have organize any meetups ?


Yes, we do have a support group in facebook and there are also outings like, movies, pool, bowling, being organized sometimes as well. 
Do let me know thru PM if u wanna join us


----------



## jais

wow, never knew there were so many singaporeans on this site!


----------



## nope

Hello! i am new to this too. Just created account lol. Have been suffering from SA since last year. Been viewing a couple of posts. Seems like this support group is rather active. How to join the facebook Group? Probably could jump start my recovery with the help of this support group.


----------



## reliefseeker

jais said:


> wow, never knew there were so many singaporeans on this site!


Yeah kinda surprising consider our country is just a tiny red dot lol


----------



## jais

hey tensedboy, how do i join?


----------



## reliefseeker

jais said:


> hey tensedboy, how do i join?


its a secret group, which means u have to be invited by a member in order to join, u can add me first and i'll invite u thru fb,


----------



## reliefseeker

Who's up for a chat now? SG SAS Chat site: http://skssg.com/pfchat


----------



## ananhuang

*New member*

Hi, I'm new here. 19 this year and working as an intern as I am on my 3rd year sem 2 in poly. Would love to know and interact more with like-minded people. A little intro, I'm an introvert and social situation always makes me jitty and anxious. I can't wait to escape or even skip every single chance I have if I can help it. People who are "normal" just can't get it and I'm sick and tired of having to tolerate their presence and even make an effort to interact. Thus, I'm glad to find this forum and hope to interact with someone via email, msn, fb. We can even meet up and who knows, we can be good friends


----------



## ananhuang

hey ppl, care to add one another's on fb and msn? I shall start the ball rolling?  
msn: [email protected]
fb: https://www.facebook.com/ananhuang93


----------



## reliefseeker

tensedboy said:


> Who's up for a chat now? http://skssg.com/pfchat


Anyone?


----------



## supportee

Hello world,
I think I need some friends who are 
sensitive to what people think and say
even if they're only perceived,
aka. those who probably have exceptional 
interpersonal communication skills.

I think a lot of our attitudes
were inculcated from the first human contacts
in the early stages of life?

Domestic violence,
child neglect,
be it emotional, verbal, mental, physical
or other forms,
high expectations,
lack of support and autonomy,
too much coercion
etc.

As much as I don't think 
counting up the wrongs that have been done
is a manifestation of loving my neighbour,
in an attempt for acceptance and validation I will admit that
my family has issues including with 
obsessive-compulsive disorder
and I hold my personal space with a long list of
'traits the other person must have'
yet... ...


----------



## reliefseeker

supportee said:


> Hello world,
> I think I need some friends who are
> sensitive to what people think and say
> even if they're only perceived,
> aka. those who probably have exceptional
> interpersonal communication skills.
> 
> I think a lot of our attitudes
> were inculcated from the first human contacts
> in the early stages of life?
> 
> Domestic violence,
> child neglect,
> be it emotional, verbal, mental, physical
> or other forms,
> high expectations,
> lack of support and autonomy,
> too much coercion
> etc.
> 
> As much as I don't think
> counting up the wrongs that have been done
> is a manifestation of loving my neighbour,
> in an attempt for acceptance and validation I will admit that
> my family has issues including with
> obsessive-compulsive disorder
> and I hold my personal space with a long list of
> 'traits the other person must have'
> yet... ...


Hi there...Welcome to this forum, i might not have exceptional communication skills but i'm here if you need any support or someone to chat with


----------



## mario11

do you guys join army? are your SA become worse doing it or not?


----------



## supportee

tensedboy said:


> Hi there...Welcome to this forum, i might not have exceptional communication skills but i'm here if you need any support or someone to chat with


Thank you!

Ah, how do I start chatting?


----------



## zexuan531

Hi all, stumbled upon this forum. Am I glad to know that there is a support group here!
I'm 20, female and currently studying in uni! Nice to know you all.


----------



## reliefseeker

zexuan531 said:


> Hi all, stumbled upon this forum. Am I glad to know that there is a support group here!
> I'm 20, female and currently studying in uni! Nice to know you all.


Another SG SA member :boogie
welcome to the group!!


----------



## chewren

hello people,
its been a while, been busy with my school stuff.
it's great that we have more people joining us .
i have some alternative to Psychiatrist or psychologists.

_If you need to speak to someone about your problems_, you can visit 
Chat, http://www.youthinmind.sg/about-chat/
located at scape at the 5th level (orchard road area).
its free!

But if you are not comfortable talking to Councillors, you can try leaving a message to audiblehearts. everything will be confidential so don't worry.They will reply ASAP.
http://www.audiblehearts.sg/

by the way, it is great that you all took the first step.

if anyone want to join our fb group , you can either add me or tensedboy facebook
@ http://www.facebook.com/yifong1337 
http://www.facebook.com/jeffcys


----------



## zexuan531

Hi, just finished my second last paper of my exam today.
Realised not many people like to talk here?
How's everyone doing?


----------



## dysphoriaiswhatifeel

heyy ! im new here, glad to know that theres such forums ! ;D


----------



## supportee

zexuan531 said:


> Hi, just finished my second last paper of my exam today.
> Realised not many people like to talk here?
> How's everyone doing?


Hello hello hello 
How are you? 
It's been some time since I had school exams.
What were the questions about?


----------



## zexuan531

supportee said:


> Hello hello hello
> How are you?
> It's been some time since I had school exams.
> What were the questions about?


Was an economics paper. Forgot the questions already! Don't like to remeber them after the exams. Haha. But it was easier than those essay based econs questions. Ths exams are all MCQs and short answers. 

Some time since you had exams? How long was that? 



dysphoriaiswhatifeel said:


> heyy ! im new here, glad to know that theres such forums ! ;D


Hello!


----------



## dysphoriaiswhatifeel

Hello![/QUOTE]

;D btw, i saw the previous posts that you guys have this facebook group? How do i join?


----------



## reliefseeker

dysphoriaiswhatifeel said:


> Hello!


;D btw, i saw the previous posts that you guys have this facebook group? How do i join?[/QUOTE]

Its a secret group(viewable by members only), which means you have to be invited by a member in order to join the group. 
To do that, you can add any of the member's facebook here(in this case either chewren or myself) and we'll send an invite, in which it will take awhile for the admins to accept

Alternatively you can send a PM to one of our fb group admins, cwq or otakux(both are not active here i think)


----------



## dysphoriaiswhatifeel

tensedboy said:


> Its a secret group(viewable by members only), which means you have to be invited by a member in order to join the group.
> To do that, you can add any of the member's facebook here(in this case either chewren or myself) and we'll send an invite, in which it will take awhile for the admins to accept
> 
> Alternatively you can send a PM to one of our fb group admins, cwq or otakux(both are not active here i think)


Alright, i'll add you now. ;D


----------



## supportee

zexuan531 said:


> Was an economics paper. Forgot the questions already! Don't like to remeber them after the exams. Haha. But it was easier than those essay based econs questions. Ths exams are all MCQs and short answers.
> 
> Some time since you had exams? How long was that?


 I've got a lot to learn, never did econs.

About.. 2 years ago, I think.. there were some assignment-based graded subjects after that..


----------



## reliefseeker

dysphoriaiswhatifeel said:


> Alright, i'll add you now. ;D


 :wel Do actively participate in our discussions, and feel free to suggest any activities or meetups for this group too 
​


----------



## dysphoriaiswhatifeel

tensedboy said:


> :wel Do actively participate in our discussions, and feel free to suggest any activities or meetups for this group too
> ​


Alright, I will. Thanks. ;D


----------



## reliefseeker

Its been nearly 1 month since the last post. Any fellow singaporean who just started viewing the forum, please do post here:yes


----------



## most12

Hey I am a 16 year old male from singapore too. Wonder if it would be appropriate to mix with people so much older than me...


----------



## reliefseeker

most12 said:


> Hey I am a 16 year old male from singapore too. Wonder if it would be appropriate to mix with people so much older than me...


Hi there not to worry, our members here are mostly teens or young adults, (aged between 16-30), if ur keen to join our fb group, u may add any of our member's fb here, and they'll invite u in.


----------



## MsRindy

Hi... is this support group still on going?


----------



## reliefseeker

MsRindy said:


> Hi... is this support group still on going?


Yup


----------



## reliefseeker

Up for more awareness...


----------



## reliefseeker

-


----------



## pohutukawa

Hi, Singaporean here... I just joined this forum yesterday. 

Um, what does this support group do?


----------



## reliefseeker

pohutukawa said:


> Hi, Singaporean here... I just joined this forum yesterday.
> 
> Um, what does this support group do?


Hello!
basically this support group is for us fellow SA sufferers to get to know each other, share our problems/experiences and discuss our strategies in dealing with SA. On top of that, there will be outings organized as well. So yah, if you wanna join us on the facebook group, just leave me a PM.


----------



## Picturesque

Hi everyone  I'm not a Singaporean but I'm currently studying there.

:boogie


----------



## reliefseeker

Hey everyone this saturday there will b a SA outing for all the members here. 
Here are the details:

Activities: Lunch at plaza sing manhattan fish market followed by bowling/pool @ Marina Sq
Date&Time: 19/1/2013, 2pm
Meeting place: prolly dhoby gaut. 

Interested ones just leave me a PM. hope to see u there


----------



## reliefseeker

Picturesque said:


> Hi everyone  I'm not a Singaporean but I'm currently studying there.
> 
> :boogie


Hello, where do you study and how is your experience here?:b


----------



## Picturesque

tensedboy said:


> Hello, where do you study and how is your experience here?:b


Hey, I'm currently studying at SCI. It's located at Telok Belangah Rise. 

And I absolutely love Singapore. There's not a single thing that I hate or dislike about it.


----------



## reliefseeker

kindness said:


> Hey hey ) Its nice to see an SG group!


Hello!


----------



## reliefseeker

-


----------



## meye

This sounds like the most active thread so I'll post my message here. I'm part of tensed boy's awesome group which is private. I, myself, started a public one on meetup.com to find audience of different age groups (limited to 21+).

Please join if like me you are trying out exposure therapy and need as much practice as possible.

Please help spread the word 

http://www.meetup.com/Social-anxiety-and-depression-support-group/


----------



## nevernow

hello... i'm new to this forum and i just joined. is there anyone that i can PM? i have a few questions about looking for professional help in singapore and i am at a loss.


----------



## Lamatt

Hello. I've contacted some of the people here about the fb group a few days ago but i've yet to get a reply. I'm really just looking for a friend to talk to. If anybody here's interested my email is [email protected]. Thanks.


----------



## Psychedilio

Bumping up this thread again. I'd really like for there to be a Singapore SA support group!


----------



## Psychedilio

Psychedilio said:


> Bumping up this thread again. I'd really like for there to be a Singapore SA support group!


Okay embarrassing. I was stuck on page one, didn't realize this thread was still active. Forgive me :blank


----------



## mrbean249

Hi guys, new here. I have been googling about this problem and stumbled onto this forum. Sometimes i wonder why is it so easy for others to be so sociable and outgoing, while i have to go through this nervousness in social situations... Anyone feels the same too??


----------



## runningboy

Hi guy . This is my first post here . 

I have been reading the last 5 pages of this thread before making my first post here here .

I am quite a boring person and dont really go outdoor .


Anyway is there a chat system in this website like msn or something?


----------



## Psychedilio

runningboy said:


> Hi guy . This is my first post here .
> 
> I have been reading the last 5 pages of this thread before making my first post here here .
> 
> I am quite a boring person and dont really go outdoor .
> 
> Anyway is there a chat system in this website like msn or something?


Yes there is actually. At the bottom left of the page there's a chat box something like facebook's. Just add friends and chat.


----------



## awkwardsilences

yo people....


----------



## reliefseeker

Hello guys, 

if anybody would like to join the facebook private group, just leave a PM to otaku or chewren 

i wont be posting here much due to problems encountered when logging in, but i will still be active for the outings and meetups. 

mrbean249- i know how u feel, the nervousness can be quite disabling and it can make u feel uncomfortably out of place at times. but dont be discouraged, there are many others here who been through this including me, and socializing is something that requires regular practice, exposure and also changing the way we perceive social situations, it takes time definitely, so try not to force yourself too much, and dont give up


----------



## reliefseeker

Lamatt said:


> Hello. I've contacted some of the people here about the fb group a few days ago but i've yet to get a reply. I'm really just looking for a friend to talk to. If anybody here's interested my email is [email protected]. Thanks.


Hi,

i just left u a private message on facebook, if u need someone to talk to, i'm here...


----------



## chewren

runningboy, add me on fb again


----------



## otakux

kindness said:


> I messaged to join the sa fb group but I never got a reply :/


pm me


----------



## Joe443

Hey guys. I'm new here and glad there's such a group that you are trying to form. I'm too lazy to read through the entire thread. Can someone briefly summarize what's going on? If there's a support group meetup, I'd most gladly wish to attend. If not, can I suggest a time and date to just hang out maybe for some sports or we could go play board games at play nation or something. What do y'all think?


----------



## Psychedilio

Joe443 said:


> Hey guys. I'm new here and glad there's such a group that you are trying to form. I'm too lazy to read through the entire thread. Can someone briefly summarize what's going on? If there's a support group meetup, I'd most gladly wish to attend. If not, can I suggest a time and date to just hang out maybe for some sports or we could go play board games at play nation or something. What do y'all think?


Just pm chewren or otaku to join the facebook group. I think there's more action there than on here haha.


----------



## Joe443

Okay done. Thanks


----------



## reearnteeno

Hi guys, I'm new here, but no stranger to Anxiety. Looking to join you guys. I'm not really a socially anxious person, more of the panic attacks and all. Would be nice to have a chat with people who share the same problems as me.


----------



## toughcase

Hello,

I've been dealing with SA since the age of 13. I'm 23 this year. One of my greatest fear is to be on crowded public transports...I tend to have trouble breathing. I had my first session with a psychiatrist recently but it was a very bad experience. I was referred to her by a doctor from a clinic as I didn't have any recommendations. The whole session was rushed and the psychiatrist even made some judgmental comments about my previous school. I never went back after the first session, trying to manage my conditions alone, exposing myself to social situations etc...It worked for a while but now i'm back to square one. I couldn't maintain the self-confidence for long..

Can I ask for some good recommendations for a psychiatrist? :/ I would really appreciate it.

By the way, is anyone else suffering from social anxiety OCD staring as a side effect? The Japanese call is "Fear of One's Own Glance":

http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/cant-stop-staring-at-people-28003/

Thank you for reading. Hope to make some friends here. :]


----------



## toughcase

Oh yes, I am also currently looking for a job. In my previous job, there were groups of people who hated me and would stand in the cubicle some distance behind to ***** about whatever work that they can see me doing on my computer.

I am really afraid about going to a new workplace right now. I can make an ok first impression, but afterwards I get so terrified of screwing the impression up that I tend to react strangely/coldly towards people...This usually builds up until people start disliking me. Then it becomes this:


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## Psychedilio

toughcase said:


> Oh yes, I am also currently looking for a job. In my previous job, there were groups of people who hated me and would stand in the cubicle some distance behind to ***** about whatever work that they can see me doing on my computer.
> 
> I am really afraid about going to a new workplace right now. I can make an ok first impression, but afterwards I get so terrified of screwing the impression up that I tend to react strangely/coldly towards people...This usually builds up until people start disliking me. Then it becomes this:


Hahaha I feel you. Basically you just need to stay away from those *****y types as they're the ones who will complicate your life and make you detest people further. They're probably bored with their lives and try to cause and feed off drama like bloodsuckers. Which is a clear sign of immaturity. The thing to know is that though every company has their fair share of morons, as in life, there are also some great people around worth knowing. The only way you'll know is to try out at different companies. Trial and error. If you don't like it you can always leave.

I'm afraid I can't help you with the psychiatrist part as I myself am seeing a therapist who isn't of much help. But you can try looking up a few online. I don't know if you would consider hypnotherapy but there's a recommended therapist who goes by Petra Hypnosis that I know of.


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## pssychedelic

hey, I'm from singapore too.

24 this year. a guy.

i read through several pages of comments. 37 pages is way too much to read everything haha.

i'm pretty surprised that many got this SAD at a later age of 12 and onwards? i've had mine since 7 (at least this is the earliest yet vivid memory of i suffering under this spell).

so, i kinda lived a feared life for my whole life. my mom instilled fear in me so as to get an obedient diligent kid (typical chinese mentality). my dad was hardly around. so my situation was never noticed and funnily, i discovered my disorder from the internet.

i wouldn't know what to do without internet. it gave me social interaction when i was in my adolescence (internet chat but i quit it after couple of years). it allowed me to widen my knowledge without having to confront my disorder in the public. it helped me discover my disorder and to start seek help for it.

i took some online social anxiety disorder test (based on my adolescence experience) and my results were ranked very severe.

like what some have mentioned, i have similarly lost countless opportunities, could have been so much more and achieved more. had numerous suicidal tendencies. 

i discovered this disorder only at the age of 22. i always thought i was just terribly painfully shy. nobody knows about my issue except my ex (and regrettably put her through many horrible moments). couple of "close" friends who knew can't be bothered at all. psychiatrist's medicine gave me side effects (stopped after 2 weeks) and psychologists weren't that helpful (govt sgh). 

i still struggle everyday. i hardly have friends. i just continued my tertiary education (quit it and stopped for 2 years before). life does seem so bleak many times.

i have learned some things throughout the years and i thought perhaps they can give you fellow comrades some perspectives:

- don't be in insolation and coop yourself up in the room; the more you get comfortable in such an environment, the harder and longer it will take for you to be whom you really want to be

- if you've anyone who loves you and empathizes with you (family, partner, friend, whichever), don't overwork that special person. cherish them. don't expect that person to solve your issues. this is a very personal journey. only you yourself can work this out. love this person back as much and create happy memories. you can share your ups and downs with this person but don't go putting burdens emotions on them.

- don't keep thinking of suicide and the dark things. read good quotes and inspirational movies/books/songs and believe that one day you will be that person you have always wanted to be. there will be many incidents that will bring you down, make you doubt yourself. but have utter faith that you'll be much more than all these.

- exercise and keep clutter-free. have discipline in your life in daily routines. a healthy fit body and mind will certainly make you feel better. don't take junk stuff which only harms your body.

- write a few meaningful notes and read them (internalize them) every morning when you wake up. pretend every stranger you see is yourself. thoroughly believe that you can be that wonderful person you wanted to be. don't let negative incidents bring you down. make your skin thicker. the best part of being young: you can do many mistakes and get away with them (bc senior ppl would just think that it's bc you're young and inexperienced). don't let this youth go to waste.

this is all that i can think of now. happy sunday people.


----------



## toughcase

Psychedilio said:


> Hahaha I feel you. Basically you just need to stay away from those *****y types as they're the ones who will complicate your life and make you detest people further. They're probably bored with their lives and try to cause and feed off drama like bloodsuckers. Which is a clear sign of immaturity. The thing to know is that though every company has their fair share of morons, as in life, there are also some great people around worth knowing. The only way you'll know is to try out at different companies. Trial and error. If you don't like it you can always leave.
> 
> I'm afraid I can't help you with the psychiatrist part as I myself am seeing a therapist who isn't of much help. But you can try looking up a few online. I don't know if you would consider hypnotherapy but there's a recommended therapist who goes by Petra Hypnosis that I know of.


Thanks for suggesting help!  Man, from what I gathered on this forum(And personal experience), therapists really can't help with much huh. You're very right about meeting a balance of good and *****y people in an environment. Even though I had people hating me, I had a fair share of friends that i gradually made in time. That is something to look forward to. :]


----------



## toughcase

pssychedelic said:


> hey, I'm from singapore too.
> 
> 24 this year. a guy.
> 
> i read through several pages of comments. 37 pages is way too much to read everything haha.
> 
> i'm pretty surprised that many got this SAD at a later age of 12 and onwards? i've had mine since 7 (at least this is the earliest yet vivid memory of i suffering under this spell).
> 
> so, i kinda lived a feared life for my whole life. my mom instilled fear in me so as to get an obedient diligent kid (typical chinese mentality). my dad was hardly around. so my situation was never noticed and funnily, i discovered my disorder from the internet.
> 
> i wouldn't know what to do without internet. it gave me social interaction when i was in my adolescence (internet chat but i quit it after couple of years). it allowed me to widen my knowledge without having to confront my disorder in the public. it helped me discover my disorder and to start seek help for it.
> 
> i took some online social anxiety disorder test (based on my adolescence experience) and my results were ranked very severe.
> 
> like what some have mentioned, i have similarly lost countless opportunities, could have been so much more and achieved more. had numerous suicidal tendencies.
> 
> i discovered this disorder only at the age of 22. i always thought i was just terribly painfully shy. nobody knows about my issue except my ex (and regrettably put her through many horrible moments). couple of "close" friends who knew can't be bothered at all. psychiatrist's medicine gave me side effects (stopped after 2 weeks) and psychologists weren't that helpful (govt sgh).
> 
> i still struggle everyday. i hardly have friends. i just continued my tertiary education (quit it and stopped for 2 years before). life does seem so bleak many times.
> 
> i have learned some things throughout the years and i thought perhaps they can give you fellow comrades some perspectives:
> 
> - don't be in insolation and coop yourself up in the room; the more you get comfortable in such an environment, the harder and longer it will take for you to be whom you really want to be
> 
> - if you've anyone who loves you and empathizes with you (family, partner, friend, whichever), don't overwork that special person. cherish them. don't expect that person to solve your issues. this is a very personal journey. only you yourself can work this out. love this person back as much and create happy memories. you can share your ups and downs with this person but don't go putting burdens emotions on them.
> 
> - don't keep thinking of suicide and the dark things. read good quotes and inspirational movies/books/songs and believe that one day you will be that person you have always wanted to be. there will be many incidents that will bring you down, make you doubt yourself. but have utter faith that you'll be much more than all these.
> 
> - exercise and keep clutter-free. have discipline in your life in daily routines. a healthy fit body and mind will certainly make you feel better. don't take junk stuff which only harms your body.
> 
> - write a few meaningful notes and read them (internalize them) every morning when you wake up. pretend every stranger you see is yourself. thoroughly believe that you can be that wonderful person you wanted to be. don't let negative incidents bring you down. make your skin thicker. the best part of being young: you can do many mistakes and get away with them (bc senior ppl would just think that it's bc you're young and inexperienced). don't let this youth go to waste.
> 
> this is all that i can think of now. happy sunday people.


Mine started at 13 due to some bullying incidents at school. Back then, I was confused as to why I suddenly got so tensed around people. I literally didn't know where to put my hands when I walk, so I sometimes hold them awkwardly in front of my chest like a rabbit. Was made fun of because of that.

Your tips are so true. My disorder has taken a toll on my partner after almost 3 years. He knows all about it and has been most supportive. I've been practising more self-control and managing my emotions. I don't always succeed though.


----------



## pssychedelic

toughcase said:


> Hello,
> 
> I've been dealing with SA since the age of 13. I'm 23 this year. One of my greatest fear is to be on crowded public transports...I tend to have trouble breathing. I had my first session with a psychiatrist recently but it was a very bad experience. I was referred to her by a doctor from a clinic as I didn't have any recommendations. The whole session was rushed and the psychiatrist even made some judgmental comments about my previous school. I never went back after the first session, trying to manage my conditions alone, exposing myself to social situations etc...It worked for a while but now i'm back to square one. I couldn't maintain the self-confidence for long..
> 
> Can I ask for some good recommendations for a psychiatrist? :/ I would really appreciate it.
> 
> By the way, is anyone else suffering from social anxiety OCD staring as a side effect? The Japanese call is "Fear of One's Own Glance":
> 
> http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/cant-stop-staring-at-people-28003/
> 
> Thank you for reading. Hope to make some friends here. :]


Do you mean a good psychiatrist or good psychologist?

I think finding a good psychologist is more important. I didn't find any good ones when I went to sgh. Private psychologists are very expensive..

I have had OCD for different things. I'll focus on what you mentioned here.

For me, the more I fear looking at something the more I want to look at it longer. So, the OCD works in this way for me. A typical example will be a girl who looks not bad; the OCD makes me want to keep looking at her. It's not that I'm feeling lecherous but it's as though my mind is daring me to look for long.

If only you were given professional help when you were in your teens, you wouldn't have had prolonged this disorder.

My regret will be that my parents didn't have the knowledge nor bothered to notice about me. So, I ended up discovering this disorder myself and seeking professional help myself. Till today, they don't bother to ask more about me nor understand my disorder.

Sounds like you have a partner who loves you. That's beneficial  Just remind yourself every now and then what would things like be without him, and you would cherish him better and not let your disorder sour things.

I utterly regretted placing so much burden on my ex. She has moved on to something better.

Oh well, a lesson learnt.


----------



## toughcase

pssychedelic> 

I went for counseling at age 14. Sadly, I went undiagnosed. My parents were supportive, but they didn't know any better than I did. We all assumed that it was something that a teenager goes through and will get over soon. I was then released from the counseling centre without any results.

I read plenty of self-help books that kept me temporarily motivated but they never solve the real issue. Like you, I read and collected plenty of quotes, articles, self-help stuff etc. I wish they have longer lasting effects but they are like cheap drugs that only bring temporary relief. 

As for my strange case of OCD, it makes being in a workplace/classroom environment unbearable. I stare out of the corners of my eyes. People who sat beside me can feel it and it made them uncomfortable. I could be in a movie theatre, a food court, on the streets...WORSE of all, on a train..People can feel me staring and they will squirm. Truth is, I can't see anything from my peripheral vision. Everything is a blurry mess, but due to my awkward darting eyes and anxious behavior, people sense it in a minute. The people that I stare at aren't fixed either. 

They range from guys that are conventionally attractive, people who dress well to random uncles/aunties. I personally may not find the above guys mentioned as attractive, but if I feel that they generally know that they're perceived as good looking, that people would admire them, I will avoid looking at them for fear of embarrassment. But every time I look up, they will be somewhere in my line of vision. This triggers my anxiety and breaks my concentration on whatever I was doing(Work, talking to someone etc), my mind and eyes are all focused on whether that person I was afraid of staring at can sense my nervousness and stares. Some people I met on a fb OCD staring group have it worse. Their condition has escalated to staring at people's private parts. They're so afraid of being seen as a pervert/weirdo that their minds somehow make them do the worse that they can imagine. What can be worse than being unable to stop yourself from staring at people's boobs/family jewels and getting caught doing it?

Ok, this sounds really cray and probably unrelatable to people who don't have this OCD syndrome. 

I'm sorry about your ex.. I've done many horrible things to my partner like blaming him for speaking too loudly on the train(Whut?), taking my work/school frustrations out on him etc. It went on for years until I started practising self-control again. 


Thanks for reading.


----------



## reliefseeker

pssychedelic said:


> hey, I'm from singapore too.
> 
> 24 this year. a guy.
> 
> i read through several pages of comments. 37 pages is way too much to read everything haha.
> 
> i'm pretty surprised that many got this SAD at a later age of 12 and onwards? i've had mine since 7 (at least this is the earliest yet vivid memory of i suffering under this spell).
> 
> so, i kinda lived a feared life for my whole life. my mom instilled fear in me so as to get an obedient diligent kid (typical chinese mentality). my dad was hardly around. so my situation was never noticed and funnily, i discovered my disorder from the internet.
> 
> i wouldn't know what to do without internet. it gave me social interaction when i was in my adolescence (internet chat but i quit it after couple of years). it allowed me to widen my knowledge without having to confront my disorder in the public. it helped me discover my disorder and to start seek help for it.
> 
> i took some online social anxiety disorder test (based on my adolescence experience) and my results were ranked very severe.
> 
> like what some have mentioned, i have similarly lost countless opportunities, could have been so much more and achieved more. had numerous suicidal tendencies.
> 
> i discovered this disorder only at the age of 22. i always thought i was just terribly painfully shy. nobody knows about my issue except my ex (and regrettably put her through many horrible moments). couple of "close" friends who knew can't be bothered at all. psychiatrist's medicine gave me side effects (stopped after 2 weeks) and psychologists weren't that helpful (govt sgh).
> 
> i still struggle everyday. i hardly have friends. i just continued my tertiary education (quit it and stopped for 2 years before). life does seem so bleak many times.
> 
> i have learned some things throughout the years and i thought perhaps they can give you fellow comrades some perspectives:
> 
> - don't be in insolation and coop yourself up in the room; the more you get comfortable in such an environment, the harder and longer it will take for you to be whom you really want to be
> 
> - if you've anyone who loves you and empathizes with you (family, partner, friend, whichever), don't overwork that special person. cherish them. don't expect that person to solve your issues. this is a very personal journey. only you yourself can work this out. love this person back as much and create happy memories. you can share your ups and downs with this person but don't go putting burdens emotions on them.
> 
> - don't keep thinking of suicide and the dark things. read good quotes and inspirational movies/books/songs and believe that one day you will be that person you have always wanted to be. there will be many incidents that will bring you down, make you doubt yourself. but have utter faith that you'll be much more than all these.
> 
> - exercise and keep clutter-free. have discipline in your life in daily routines. a healthy fit body and mind will certainly make you feel better. don't take junk stuff which only harms your body.
> 
> - write a few meaningful notes and read them (internalize them) every morning when you wake up. pretend every stranger you see is yourself. thoroughly believe that you can be that wonderful person you wanted to be. don't let negative incidents bring you down. make your skin thicker. the best part of being young: you can do many mistakes and get away with them (bc senior ppl would just think that it's bc you're young and inexperienced). don't let this youth go to waste.
> 
> this is all that i can think of now. happy sunday people.


-


----------



## toughcase

tensedboy said:


> (Finally i got the chance to post something here....)
> 
> Anyway, I fully agree with the tips you mentioned, easier said than done though... but in order to keep our life going, no matter how depressed we might be, we have to make full use of what is given to us and live life to the fullest as much as possible, afterall, there's no one else better at helping us than ourselves.
> 
> for me i had bad SAD to the point of getting totally mute during any kind of social situations, i tried to force myself to get involved in group conversations, to talk at least a few sentences instead of none, luckily only a few times i succeed a little,
> but then again, first impressions are formed, SA behavior is judged, and probably i can never leave something positive in the eyes of others again.
> 
> Very tired.
> 
> I do feel like talking sometimes, but doesn't know where and how to start.
> If I do utter something, will it be ignored? will it be seen as stupid, dumb?
> If I don't talk, .....okay that's another story.
> 
> Even opening my mouth becomes a difficult thing to do outside. Every word said may be judged negatively. I also been through awful scenarios where people stabbed me in the back because I'm socially awkward.
> Can someone guide me on how to live in this society?


I have known of 2 people that have gotten out of SAD for good. One is a close friend of mine. His method was to put himself out there completely. He told his friends to evaluate his social reactions and correct them when they're off. Something as straight forward as making mistakes and being embarrassed countless of times so as to learn from them.

Then there was this other guy that I knew from another support group. He posted only once, and that was to inform us that this issue CAN be solved, or at least made manageable. After a failed suicide attempt, he joined plays and performed on stage, did voluntary work that forced him to interact with people. Mainly, he learnt that screwing up and being laughed at is alright.

I feel that these forums always sound so hopeless because the ones who got through it have little reasons to come back to their horrible past.

I realized that my "exposure methods" didn't work well because I ENDURED the social situations instead of learning from them. Like you, I tried to put myself in uncomfortable positions to practice social interactions.

I forced myself to sit next to people in a restaurant, but I was unable to say anything to a friend sitting across me. In my head I was forcing myself to SAY SOMETHING. I didn't run away. It was still exposure, but I endured the situation and learnt nothing instead of getting some useful mind re-wiring.


----------



## reliefseeker

toughcase said:


> I have known of 2 people that have gotten out of SAD for good. One is a close friend of mine. His method was to put himself out there completely. He told his friends to evaluate his social reactions and correct them when they're off. Something as straight forward as making mistakes and being embarrassed countless of times so as to learn from them.
> 
> Then there was this other guy that I knew from another support group. He posted only once, and that was to inform us that this issue CAN be solved, or at least made manageable. After a failed suicide attempt, he joined plays and performed on stage, did voluntary work that forced him to interact with people. Mainly, he learnt that screwing up and being laughed at is alright.


-


----------



## pssychedelic

toughcase said:


> I have known of 2 people that have gotten out of SAD for good. One is a close friend of mine. His method was to put himself out there completely. He told his friends to evaluate his social reactions and correct them when they're off. Something as straight forward as making mistakes and being embarrassed countless of times so as to learn from them.
> 
> Then there was this other guy that I knew from another support group. He posted only once, and that was to inform us that this issue CAN be solved, or at least made manageable. After a failed suicide attempt, he joined plays and performed on stage, did voluntary work that forced him to interact with people. Mainly, he learnt that screwing up and being laughed at is alright.
> 
> I feel that these forums always sound so hopeless because the ones who got through it have little reasons to come back to their horrible past.
> 
> I realized that my "exposure methods" didn't work well because I ENDURED the social situations instead of learning from them. Like you, I tried to put myself in uncomfortable positions to practice social interactions.
> 
> I forced myself to sit next to people in a restaurant, but I was unable to say anything to a friend sitting across me. In my head I was forcing myself to SAY SOMETHING. I didn't run away. It was still exposure, but I endured the situation and learnt nothing instead of getting some useful mind re-wiring.


I will reply this part first to you and tensed boy I will reply the previous one tml when I have more free time!

Congrats to the 2 you know whom have walked out of this disorder. I really do hope they did. Sometimes it appears so and then we realize.. we haven't really gotten out of it.

The psychologists I went to, I felt they aren't that good. I kind of pay to have they listen to my problems. All they offer is logic (which I feel I already have). What should be taught is how to condition the patient such that the patient has confidence and courage and motivation to triumph the challenges (fear). We're talking about crippling fear for years; not some minor issue. Probably, only the better and more expensive psychologists can achieve this for the patients. Sadly, not many can afford such psychologists.

I read through some posts on this forum. It let me know that there are people who are far worse than me (it's tragic how we feel fortunate by looking at misfortunate people). I don't read much on this forum because it can be too depressing/non-conclusive/cold. Also, my posts previously all got ignored. So, I stopped posting and I feel it's better for me too.

You're right - you endured those social situations instead of learning from them.

After my ex left me (even as a close friend) about 6 months ago, I was left to fend for myself. I have a few friends who know what happened to me (I only told them in recent months). They are so called more close to me. But they didn't offer much help. They ignore my messages and they didn't bother to ask how I was. I wasn't a leech. But I guess people just don't want to bother about negative stuff.

There's this quote by someone anonymous: You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

I told myself multiple times: It's either I kill myself now or make something out of my life. One thing that stopped me from killing myself is because I believe in the presence of eternal hell after life. I went to 10 years of christian school.

I had just started school last september. It was a lot of learning for me again. Because I stopped school for 2 years (did 2 months of part time work and reservist; other than that, I didn't have much social interaction). I had to re-condition myself again. It wasn't easy. In my head, everyday I tell myself countless times how I have to live my life and I just keep getting disappointed when I can't accomplish a simple task the way I want it to be executed. Now, my mind and condition is more stabilized. We all know what we should do. But to get to that mindset and settle in it comfortably takes time and agony and courage.

In the past, whenever I get depressed with SAD, I'll just message my ex or just sulk for the day. I said lots of things about my SAD to my ex. I didn't know I hurt her that deep with all these words. In the end, after several years, my condition still didn't improve much. I was in constant agony. I could have lived a much better life in that few years. I not only broke my life apart; I broke my ex's life apart too. I feel pretty guilty. I'm quite sure without my nonsense, she would have done much better in her studies and achieved more in that few years. Nonetheless, I still remember many fond memories.

Now, that I have no pillar of emotional support.. I have only myself to depend on. Through trial and error, learning and absorbing what I did and did not do... I eventually reached to a more stablized state of mind today. I have improved in the past 6 months.

I have been reading this book called THE SECRET. You guys might have read it before too. I'm halfway through it. Let's not debate how effective it is in getting you riches wealth, beautiful partners, whatsoever. But I feel certain guidelines the book gives is true. These guidelines help you face fear better and look at life more optimistically. This is beneficial for all aspects of your life.

Example: You're training for your 2.4km. Instead of thinking I need to hang on and hit my goal timing, THINK.... I will hit my goal timing. And have internal peace. Whenever you feel yourself breathing harder in difficult social situations, close your eyes for a second and focus on breathing slow and easy and focus on positive thoughts like "I'll get this done. I will be calm and collected throughout this."

Saying is easy. Doing is certainly not easy. Always remember it takes time for you to change. Accept and recognise that you're in a difficult situation. But you will change for the better. It's worth changing because everyone deserves a better life and people who love you deserves to enjoy your good company and not suffer excessively your woes and troubles.

And before every social interaction (of buying food or whatever), prepare yourself 30 seconds before on how to execute your talk and have that confidence to carry through it.

Honestly, all these are tiring. I get so tired from thinking so much in my whole life. But I know if I don't actively think and act, I will never have a meaningful life. I might not even have another girlfriend/wife. My psychologist was surprised that I had a girlfriend in the first few sessions. No prizes for this - I have had only 1 girlfriend.

I so get what you mean when you mention the restaurant setting. I have improved from that awkward me to someone who's more at ease and comfortable with talking over the table without having to worry as much. There's only one way out of this. Look at every restaurant setting as an opportunity for you to practise more. We all know that practice can only make perfect closer (regardless of good or bad habits). A good liar is so good at lying because he has lied many times. Embrace that opportunity and reflect on each experience and learn from it. Tell yourself not to fear and be brave. I believe if you see every restaurant setting as an opportunity, by the time you've had 20 of these settings, you would have improved significantly. Reading up on articles and books on how to create conversations and make small talk will be tremendously helpful.

Do something you like too. I have always liked all forms of design (fashion included) but I dressed simply for the past few years. In the past few months, I decided to dress better. Now, I see more meaning to my daily routine. I no longer feel as dead as before. At the start, I was feeling uncomfortable because I wasn't used to dressing this proper in public. But I psyched myself and got used to it.

I wish everyone would have been given equal opportunities and environments. But life can be so unfair. The only ones who can change is you and me.

Lastly... exercise! I was never that fit until NS (getting bronze for napfa many years). My NS vocation required me to hit gold standard for IPPT (2.4km < 9:15mins). I felt good and healthy during NS and the year after NS. Eventually, I lost all the fitness and gained more fats. It made me feel sloppy and unhealthy when I'm sitting, standing, walking, running, whatever! I have tried to exercise and stopped several times within the past few years. Since few months back, I decided to make a commitment to have at least a lean body to feel healthy in the mind and body and to achieve a Gold for IPPT this june (I struggled badly for the past 3 IPPTs).

I'm using protein powder to catalyze my improvement =P

There's so much more to be said, discussed and shared. By typing the above, I'm not saying that I'm smarty pants know-it-all. Don't get me wrong.. I'm just sharing what I have been through and what I know... 

I'm sure you all have valuable things to share with me too 

Just being curious... toughcase, how old are you?

tensedboy, are you in the NS?


----------



## toughcase

pssychedelic said:


> I will reply this part first to you and tensed boy I will reply the previous one tml when I have more free time!


Thanks for taking the time to reply, your advices are really helpful! I'm 23 this year, been dealing with this since I was 13.

I get what you mean by paying professionals to tell us things that we already know, not to mention the downside of meeting the ones who really suck. I met an incredibly useless and judgmental one recently, quoting her exact words, "All the guys in [Insert the name of my school] are all gangsters right?" I swear I couldn't believe my ears. :no

That was my first attempt at seeking professional help though, so I haven't thrown out this option yet. I doubt that medication is the solution because I don't have many physical symptoms to be suppressed (No panic attacks etc). I get tensed muscles, breathing trouble but I can sort of control those. The fees from my first (failed) therapy session was scary, but IF I can find someone like you described..Someone who is skilled enough to condition my behaviour and make the rest of my life more or less bearable, I am all for it. I do have my feet planted on the ground though. I know that this takes time and immense effort on my part...But after all these years of suffering, I'm willing to try anything.

What I meant in my previous post was, we shouldn't feel too defeated when we read SAD forums. Like tensedboy's experience with his poly classmate, we all have days/moments when we feel almost normal. The good days when social anxiety wasn't that strong. If we have more exposure to the stories/people that overcame social anxiety, we will have a more balanced view about the situation. Maybe I just want to believe that I can stop this condition from affecting my life through time and continuous effort.

The friend that I mentioned about: He used to walk around with long hair hanging over his face, looking unkempt, depressed and refusing to talk at all. It took him two years to change into this person that gave one of the best presentations in school, made friends easily etc. I got to know him online, so when we were in the same course at school, I made friends on-the-go simply by being his good friend. Quite pathetic of me I know, but that got me through school. I didn't have it as easy ever since, but that's because I avoided social situations and got back into the SAD pattern.

I'm not sure about the extent of your anxiety, but it sounds really bad.  Maybe that's because you're born with it? Mine started developing due to environmental conditions, but because I didn't know it was a disorder, I still acted like a normal kid, going for all outdoor activities no matter how bad I felt because I wanted to be included. Not avoiding made it easier. Maybe that's why my social anxiety is kind of moderate/situational now.

I depend a lot on my boyfriend for emotional support as well. His forgiving attitude towards me is pretty remarkable.  Acted as my therapist, analyzing and explaining to me about why things went wrong for me, teaching me ways to react etc. He's the only boyfriend I've ever had as well. As for friends who can relate to my condition..I only have two. One is the close friend that I mentioned above, and the other is someone who is having a tough time socially as well. I have mentioned my disorder to some other friends and I realized that many people needed someone to open up to. I don't know about the personalities of your friends, but maybe they are just really different from you? I have other good friends as well, but I will never mention my SAD to them.

I'm glad that you're putting in effort and progressing everyday. You seem to be handling things alright now. I think that the loss of your ex became the trigger for you to kick-start your life. I know how difficult it is to lose someone important... I've read THE SECRET before. It helps the mind to subconsciously work towards what it wants and thinks about everyday.

I read a quote somewhere else that has been pretty useful for me, thought I'll share it, "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it."

I think that stopping for 2 years in your studies is really fine. No use forcing yourself at it and doing horribly in the end. There is no rush. In my previous school, the age range in class was late twenties to thirties. Sometimes people just need to find their way around. There're so many cases where people ended up not doing anything related to their major too.

Hey, I love design too! I draw a lot.  I have pretty ****ty fashion sense though. I tend to dress in baggy jeans and t-shirts so as not to draw attention to myself, but I've been trying to wear more presentable clothes lately. Congratulations for your personal accomplishments, it's really motivating to hear such stories. Think I'll go swimming tomorrow, been years since I did that. I'll be pretty active on this forum, so if you want to talk to someone, I'll be here.


----------



## pssychedelic

toughcase said:


> pssychedelic>
> 
> I went for counseling at age 14. Sadly, I went undiagnosed. My parents were supportive, but they didn't know any better than I did. We all assumed that it was something that a teenager goes through and will get over soon. I was then released from the counseling centre without any results.
> 
> I read plenty of self-help books that kept me temporarily motivated but they never solve the real issue. Like you, I read and collected plenty of quotes, articles, self-help stuff etc. I wish they have longer lasting effects but they are like cheap drugs that only bring temporary relief.
> 
> As for my strange case of OCD, it makes being in a workplace/classroom environment unbearable. I stare out of the corners of my eyes. People who sat beside me can feel it and it made them uncomfortable. I could be in a movie theatre, a food court, on the streets...WORSE of all, on a train..People can feel me staring and they will squirm. Truth is, I can't see anything from my peripheral vision. Everything is a blurry mess, but due to my awkward darting eyes and anxious behavior, people sense it in a minute. The people that I stare at aren't fixed either.
> 
> They range from guys that are conventionally attractive, people who dress well to random uncles/aunties. I personally may not find the above guys mentioned as attractive, but if I feel that they generally know that they're perceived as good looking, that people would admire them, I will avoid looking at them for fear of embarrassment. But every time I look up, they will be somewhere in my line of vision. This triggers my anxiety and breaks my concentration on whatever I was doing(Work, talking to someone etc), my mind and eyes are all focused on whether that person I was afraid of staring at can sense my nervousness and stares. Some people I met on a fb OCD staring group have it worse. Their condition has escalated to staring at people's private parts. They're so afraid of being seen as a pervert/weirdo that their minds somehow make them do the worse that they can imagine. What can be worse than being unable to stop yourself from staring at people's boobs/family jewels and getting caught doing it?
> 
> Ok, this sounds really cray and probably unrelatable to people who don't have this OCD syndrome.
> 
> I'm sorry about your ex.. I've done many horrible things to my partner like blaming him for speaking too loudly on the train(Whut?), taking my work/school frustrations out on him etc. It went on for years until I started practising self-control again.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


I think if we had all been diagnosed early and treated early, things would have been much better for us. Recently, I heard of an incident of which the child was very quiet for years. The mom was worried and brought the child to those child development courses to get the child to speak up. Today, this child is about our age studying medicine locally and have a vibrant social life.

It does seem that your OCD might be quite out of control since people beside you can feel the stare? Mmm, I have had OCD in and out since primary school. It got worse during JC because of stress overload from family and SAD. In my experience... it's possible to cure OCD yourself. The remedy is not to fall into the trap of keep repeating the same action and relax yourself. Relaxing yourself is very important. Like what I mentioned, tell yourself to keep calm, close your eyes a few seconds (if you need to), breathe slowly and tell yourself to focus on the results you want to achieve (in this case, to relax and stop staring at others). It can sound daunting and difficult but once you start practising diligently... you will see results.

Do be careful.. don't try too hard. I made this mistake many times without knowing it's a mistake. For example: I keep repeating in my head that I need to relax. This method is wrong. It's more of half-convincing-half-enduring. The golden key is to control your breathing, relax your entire body muscles, and tell yourself gently and slowly the goal you want to achieve. Think of yoga and meditation, something along that line.

I've been there and done that  I assure you that you'll see results.

My OCDs range from certain repetitive actions (example: having to bite the tongue many times; of course not too hard that my tongue falls off haha)... to having music play in my head for all exams ever since JC (this was a really big hurdle; it happened in all the prelims and a levels and to tertiary education)... to wanting to hurt myself and hurt others to the extent of killing.

Of course.... I didn't kill myself nor anyone =P If not, there's no chance to type here already haha.

I fully understand the urge to want to look and perhaps stare at people who are generally considered to be more attractive. I struggled with this for my whole life and it's only very recent that I start to digest it better. The OCD kind of causes my mind to think as such: I know she is good looking.. I'm afraid to look.. and the OCD will keep urging me every second to keep looking till I'm sick of looking... sadly, I never looked for fear of being caught and I forced myself to stare into space for the remaining time.. a very uncomfortable experience.. even if I do look, it's a very split second turn (which I think it's obvious that I'm shy).

There's a solution for this.. think logically and have heart. Just look. Look at them as how you would look at an ordinary auntie/uncle (people whom you don't think twice when you look at them). Treat them as normal people. And acknowledge internalize that people are good looking because of their luck/blessed. Everyone in this universe deserves to be good looking (bc we're made from the same flesh and blood). And.. learn to be thick skinned and look. Hey, we're not committing any crime in looking. Look at the breasts, private parts whichever (just a casual look will do, don't stare for few seconds haha). I'm sure you would have observed how some people just look shamelessly (especially guys checking girls out from head to toe for a long time). Learn from these people. And always remind yourself to be comfortable, don't get tensed.

It's not going to be easy at the start.. but always remember that every step you take to confront your insecurities, you're one step nearer to whom you want to be. I have improved for this situation but not that good too. I think for guys more jialat! Many girls wear skimpily! Most guys don't dress well and so this deflates the perception of their good-lookingness =P

I asked myself many times why people could live their lives so normally and not fear. While this is my daily challenge. Most often throughout my life, I get so tensed that I tense my shoulders and pelvic muscles. Even at home, I leave perspiration on my seat when I stand up.

Which was why, life got very tiring for me. I contemplated suicide countless times. I felt I tried hard for many years but I got to nowhere. I ended up sinking into severe depression 1 year after NS. I laid in bed considering drinking the whole bottle of detergent, mixing pills with alcohol. Everytime I crossed the road (I seriously mean everytime), I had an urge to run into a moving car and just kill myself. A few times, the feeling got so overwhelming that I had to "wake myself up" to prevent this from happening. And, many times I stood by the kitchen window, tempted to just leap down.

Typing all these... I realize these thoughts seemed distant like they never happened. I guess it's a good sign that I've improved and moved on for the better.

I thoroughly understand the OCDs you mentioned and how you feel. 

My ex wouldn't have been happy with me too if she had stayed on longer. All the best for she to leave me. She had given me a lot of emotional support and for that, I'm already very thankful.

It's great that you've a caring boyfriend  Treasure him! It's not easy to be on the bashing end =P I probably am guilty of similar things you did to your boyfriend. Don't let the past bring you down. Look forward to creating a better future for you and your bf!


----------



## pssychedelic

tensedboy said:


> (Finally i got the chance to post something here....)
> 
> Anyway, I fully agree with the tips you mentioned, easier said than done though... but in order to keep our life going, no matter how depressed we might be, we have to make full use of what is given to us and live life to the fullest as much as possible, afterall, there's no one else better at helping us than ourselves.
> 
> for me i had bad SAD to the point of getting totally mute during any kind of social situations, i tried to force myself to get involved in group conversations, to talk at least a few sentences instead of none, luckily only a few times i succeed a little,
> but then again, first impressions are formed, SA behavior is judged, and probably i can never leave something positive in the eyes of others again.
> 
> Very tired.
> 
> I do feel like talking sometimes, but doesn't know where and how to start.
> If I do utter something, will it be ignored? will it be seen as stupid, dumb?
> If I don't talk, .....okay that's another story.
> 
> Even opening my mouth becomes a difficult thing to do outside. Every word said may be judged negatively. I also been through awful scenarios where people stabbed me in the back because I'm socially awkward.
> Can someone guide me on how to live in this society?


Hi tensedboy, do read through the replies I gave to tough case. They may offer some advice to you as well.

You're right, no matter how depressed we are, we have to push on.

Recently, I saw this quote: The things you take for granted... someone else is praying for. Example: a blind person who wishes much to able to see his family again.

Do what you like, don't let others' stereotyping and opinions drown out your inner voice and whom you can be and what you can possibly achieve. Everyone deserves to have an awesome life.

Hardly any friends helped me. Family gave allowance and shelter but nothing else to help/acknowledge/understand my condition. The only person whom I felt help me and cared was my ex. It's harsh reality = we shouldn't expect others to help us. We will stand up ourselves, fight this disease and live a life that we deserve to live.

Watch movies like ROCKY and underdog movies to remind you that you can be that "underdog" to eventually step out of the shadows and probably even emerge stronger than many other people.

Don't let those first impressions stop you. Always remember you're young now. From now to 30 years old probably, you can afford to make many mistakes. Make ample use of this youth to make mistakes, improve and discover yourself. Don't blame yourself for those "mistakes". It's difficult but you can ignore what people think of you and trek on towards your destination.

Practice makes perfect. Read online articles and books on how to make small talk and be good at creating conversations. Don't let the fear of appearing dumb stop you from talking. Rmb... if you don't start now, you won't magically improve overnight. Imagine at 30 years old and still marching on the same spot...... when that day comes, you'll be really miserable and life will seem really meaningless.

I probably am stating things you already know. The way to go is really to believe that one day you will be that promising person and don't let setbacks bring you down. Don't let others cast fear into you.

Bungee jump has always been a goal for me. I can be rather afraid of heights. It sounds stupid but I actually spent half an hour or so feeling queasy imagining I'm on the edge, about to jump. I believe that when you've embraced fear enough and looked at things optimistically for your SAD, when the day comes for you/me/whoever to bungee jump... we will bungee jump out of fun and exhilaration and anticipation... and not out of escalating fear and queasiness. When that day comes, congratulations, you've broken many barriers and you've came a long way. You're a fighter in your own right.

Just now, I went swimming. I thought I saw someone I knew. I can't be certain beacause I didn't have my glasses on. I saw this person walking out of the complex later on, probably 30m in front of me. I could have gone forward and checked it out and said hi. But I didn't. We are more like acquaintances but it still ate into me that I didn't muster enough courage to approach him and strike a conversation.

Somedays, we embraced and overcame fear. Somedays, we shrivel and give in. But I know I should rmb today's incident and strive not to make the same mistake again.


----------



## pssychedelic

tensedboy said:


> Wow, how i wish i'm as positive as them.
> The ability to stay up and keep going in spite of all the embarrassment and scorn,
> the resilience and determination to overcome failures and learn from it.
> those are good examples that are worth learning for.
> 
> *Earlier on, I just had a good conversation with one of my poly classmates whom I never talk to for a long time, and even though we aren't close at all,
> the interaction was one of the best i had because i manage to keep the conversation going and successfully minimized the amount of stuttering, there was little SA in the process of it.
> 
> This made me realize that, despite my social disorder & strong shyness, there is still a hidden potential in me to be able to socialize and function like a normal person* again, if only i can manage all the anxiety-provoking thoughts, get over the past and change my perception of many things.
> 
> It wont be a smooth-going journey for sure, but all that criticism and embarrassment is still worth it i guess.


Those words I highlighted in Bold... you're absolutely right. You've the potential. What you need now is more practice to bring these good conversations to any one on the street.


----------



## pssychedelic

toughcase said:


> Thanks for taking the time to reply, your advices are really helpful! I'm 23 this year, been dealing with this since I was 13.
> 
> I get what you mean by paying professionals to tell us things that we already know, not to mention the downside of meeting the ones who really suck. I met an incredibly useless and judgmental one recently, quoting her exact words, "All the guys in [Insert the name of my school] are all gangsters right?" I swear I couldn't believe my ears. :no
> 
> That was my first attempt at seeking professional help though, so I haven't thrown out this option yet. I doubt that medication is the solution because I don't have many physical symptoms to be suppressed (No panic attacks etc). I get tensed muscles, breathing trouble but I can sort of control those. The fees from my first (failed) therapy session was scary, but IF I can find someone like you described..Someone who is skilled enough to condition my behaviour and make the rest of my life more or less bearable, I am all for it. I do have my feet planted on the ground though. I know that this takes time and immense effort on my part...But after all these years of suffering, I'm willing to try anything.
> 
> What I meant in my previous post was, we shouldn't feel too defeated when we read SAD forums. Like tensedboy's experience with his poly classmate, we all have days/moments when we feel almost normal. The good days when social anxiety wasn't that strong. If we have more exposure to the stories/people that overcame social anxiety, we will have a more balanced view about the situation. Maybe I just want to believe that I can stop this condition from affecting my life through time and continuous effort.
> 
> The friend that I mentioned about: He used to walk around with long hair hanging over his face, looking unkempt, depressed and refusing to talk at all. It took him two years to change into this person that gave one of the best presentations in school, made friends easily etc. I got to know him online, so when we were in the same course at school, I made friends on-the-go simply by being his good friend. Quite pathetic of me I know, but that got me through school. I didn't have it as easy ever since, but that's because I avoided social situations and got back into the SAD pattern.
> 
> I'm not sure about the extent of your anxiety, but it sounds really bad.  Maybe that's because you're born with it? Mine started developing due to environmental conditions, but because I didn't know it was a disorder, I still acted like a normal kid, going for all outdoor activities no matter how bad I felt because I wanted to be included. Not avoiding made it easier. Maybe that's why my social anxiety is kind of moderate/situational now.
> 
> I depend a lot on my boyfriend for emotional support as well. His forgiving attitude towards me is pretty remarkable.  Acted as my therapist, analyzing and explaining to me about why things went wrong for me, teaching me ways to react etc. He's the only boyfriend I've ever had as well. As for friends who can relate to my condition..I only have two. One is the close friend that I mentioned above, and the other is someone who is having a tough time socially as well. I have mentioned my disorder to some other friends and I realized that many people needed someone to open up to. I don't know about the personalities of your friends, but maybe they are just really different from you? I have other good friends as well, but I will never mention my SAD to them.
> 
> I'm glad that you're putting in effort and progressing everyday. You seem to be handling things alright now. I think that the loss of your ex became the trigger for you to kick-start your life. I know how difficult it is to lose someone important... I've read THE SECRET before. It helps the mind to subconsciously work towards what it wants and thinks about everyday.
> 
> I read a quote somewhere else that has been pretty useful for me, thought I'll share it, "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it."
> 
> I think that stopping for 2 years in your studies is really fine. No use forcing yourself at it and doing horribly in the end. There is no rush. In my previous school, the age range in class was late twenties to thirties. Sometimes people just need to find their way around. There're so many cases where people ended up not doing anything related to their major too.
> 
> Hey, I love design too! I draw a lot.  I have pretty ****ty fashion sense though. I tend to dress in baggy jeans and t-shirts so as not to draw attention to myself, but I've been trying to wear more presentable clothes lately. Congratulations for your personal accomplishments, it's really motivating to hear such stories. Think I'll go swimming tomorrow, been years since I did that. I'll be pretty active on this forum, so if you want to talk to someone, I'll be here.


No worries about the replies, just sharing what I can. I will reply this one last post and take a break!

Maybe you should report that psychologist if you're feeling a bit evil hahaha. That was very unprofessional of that psychologist.

One thing I realize after interacting with psychologists is that they are humans too. They are people with their own mindsets, own frame of thinking. For all we know, they might have prejudices against us too. Not everyone is passionate about this profession and has utmost professionalism in providing/thinking what's best for the patient.

I suppose you're attending private therapy sessions as opposed to govt? Good, don't take the medication! I'd rather you spend the money on organic food, eating healthily and feeling healthily.

Good psychologists can be very expensive. I believe a good $200 per 1hr sessions is not uncommon. Depending on your condition, you might need more sessions per time interval.

The govt sector is always packed with patients. I was having sessions once every 2, 3 weeks. How helpful huh...... In the end, I improved my own situation with my own effort and logic and thoughts. On the bright side of things, it was somewhat beneficial to pour my troubles to someone. I stopped the sessions ever since last May. I'm going for it again this coming april. Just to see if it can help to quicken my improvements.

You're right. We shouldn't be defeated when looking through these forums. There will be good and bad days. Days we need to just curl up in bed and waste sleep it away. More importantly, we have to focus more on the good days and believe that one day.... we will be better than "normal" people. Having a balanced view is paramount.

It wasn't pathetic of you to be his good friend and make friends through that manner. At least, you bothered to put in effort via this route. Imagine if you hadn't bothered to even be his good friend.... I'm sure you have learned some things from this good friend of yours, on how to approach ppl etc. Your friend does seem very courageous... Had he been suffering from SAD for a long time?

My environment contributed much to my SAD and parents never bothered to notice me. Literally, every year for my report card from primary 1 to sec 4, I have had teachers writing in the comments that I'm too quiet. My parents (non-english educated) only know how to sign the report card and punish when results are not good. My mom in particular caused a lot of agony for me throughout the years. I always felt that no matter what effort I gave, I wasn't appreciated and noticed. I always felt that I'm not good enough for my parents and people around me. I remember laughing and smiling alot and not caring about what people think of me when I was in kindergarten. This all changed when I went to primary 1. My kindergarten teachers said I was slow. My dad made some remarks that my sister and other neighbor's children are smarter. My dad "scolded" me when I didn't dare to ask ppl behind the food counter for some condiments. All these happened before I entered primary 1. I suppose they all subconsciously led to the development of SAD. Ever since primary 1, I hardly smiled in photos. It sounds unbelievable but it's true. It's only in the past recent months, that I know I have to embrace the positivity.. that I start to smile much more readily in photos.

Looking back, I really have no idea how I made it through all those crap to get to where I am. There're so much more bad stories but I won't share them (too long) and this is afterall a public portal haha.

It's good that you still went for those activities despite your fears.. Social interaction is very important to fight this SAD disease.

Your boyfriend sounds remarkable to me  Is he older than you (older guys tend to look after their girls better I think)? Or probably he loves you too much!

My 2 friends have been my friends for 9 years. One of them, we went to same JC after same sec school and hung out pretty much during NS. All I can say is that... reality is harsh. No one wants to listen to negative stuff and when they're in better situations having friends, studying in local uni, having gf, they can't be bothered about you. It's better to make yourself independent and not rely on people for emotional support and money (if possible).

I still have my fears and hurdles everyday.. I don't dare to say that I'm free or near to being free from SAD.. but at least, life is more bearable today as compared to the past few years. Yeah.. the secret is helpful to some extent!

Thank you for sharing that quote!

Thank you for your assurance that I'm never too late to start my education again. That's what my closer friends told me too. I don't know if this is what they really think ha! Nonetheless, it's better late than never.


----------



## pssychedelic

@ toughcase

Continued (exceeded word characters):

Did you take design for your tertiary education? Dress better and you'll feel better! I believe your bf will like to see you in nice fitting clothes too. Good, keep up with the swimming! Exercising is beneficial for the state of mind


----------



## reliefseeker

pssychedelic said:


> Hi tensedboy, do read through the replies I gave to tough case. They may offer some advice to you as well.
> 
> You're right, no matter how depressed we are, we have to push on.
> 
> Recently, I saw this quote: The things you take for granted... someone else is praying for. Example: a blind person who wishes much to able to see his family again.
> 
> Do what you like, don't let others' stereotyping and opinions drown out your inner voice and whom you can be and what you can possibly achieve. Everyone deserves to have an awesome life.
> 
> Hardly any friends helped me. Family gave allowance and shelter but nothing else to help/acknowledge/understand my condition. The only person whom I felt help me and cared was my ex. It's harsh reality = we shouldn't expect others to help us. We will stand up ourselves, fight this disease and live a life that we deserve to live.
> 
> Watch movies like ROCKY and underdog movies to remind you that you can be that "underdog" to eventually step out of the shadows and probably even emerge stronger than many other people.
> 
> Don't let those first impressions stop you. Always remember you're young now. From now to 30 years old probably, you can afford to make many mistakes. Make ample use of this youth to make mistakes, improve and discover yourself. Don't blame yourself for those "mistakes". It's difficult but you can ignore what people think of you and trek on towards your destination.
> 
> Practice makes perfect. Read online articles and books on how to make small talk and be good at creating conversations. Don't let the fear of appearing dumb stop you from talking. Rmb... if you don't start now, you won't magically improve overnight. Imagine at 30 years old and still marching on the same spot...... when that day comes, you'll be really miserable and life will seem really meaningless.
> 
> I probably am stating things you already know. The way to go is really to believe that one day you will be that promising person and don't let setbacks bring you down. Don't let others cast fear into you.
> 
> Bungee jump has always been a goal for me. I can be rather afraid of heights. It sounds stupid but I actually spent half an hour or so feeling queasy imagining I'm on the edge, about to jump. I believe that when you've embraced fear enough and looked at things optimistically for your SAD, when the day comes for you/me/whoever to bungee jump... we will bungee jump out of fun and exhilaration and anticipation... and not out of escalating fear and queasiness. When that day comes, congratulations, you've broken many barriers and you've came a long way. You're a fighter in your own right.
> 
> Just now, I went swimming. I thought I saw someone I knew. I can't be certain beacause I didn't have my glasses on. I saw this person walking out of the complex later on, probably 30m in front of me. I could have gone forward and checked it out and said hi. But I didn't. We are more like acquaintances but it still ate into me that I didn't muster enough courage to approach him and strike a conversation.
> 
> Somedays, we embraced and overcame fear. Somedays, we shrivel and give in. But I know I should rmb today's incident and strive not to make the same mistake again.


Yeah, i will bear it in mind ^



And thanks a lot for taking the trouble to write all these, really appreciate it 

Btw to answer the earlier qns, I'm not in NS yet, probably going in later this year since I'm finishing my poly studies in few months time.


----------



## reliefseeker

psychedelic, toughcase, maybe one day we should meet up and have a chat, really hope to see you guys in person. seriously typing in this forum can get exhausting sometimes haha.


----------



## 18yoboywithSA

Hi I'm an 18 year old boy currently residing in one of the East Side towns in SG. I've been reading a few pages of this forum thread and I'm quite relieved to know that I am not the only one suffering from this damn condition in Singapore. Those who suffer from SA can know how such a lonely and exhausting experience it can be, having to deal with escalating tension and anxiety inside us that occurs routinely during our waking moments. Anyways, I'm not quite sure if I do indeed from SA but I suspect so because my feelings of severe anxiety and insecurities have been inside me for a few months already.

More about myself, I took my A Levels last year and I'm now waiting to be enlisted in NS in May this year. I have feelings of SA even around family members at home, it never used to be like that but recently it has become so. I think I have problems with OCD, much like what mentioned, as long as I'm anxious, my eyes start darting around from the corner of my eyes. Sometimes people mistake me for leering menacingly at them and some even cough at me (could be covered or uncovered and in or away from my direction). I really seek help for my SA because if I don't do it asap, I could spiral into depression or even think of the unthinkable... I have anxieties about a lot of things: people judging me, people glancing at me, people staring at me, people whispering to each other, people who cough, people who sneeze... So much so, I just feel that I want to be cooped up at home all day. Yet sometimes, with the help of friends or my family that I feel comfortable with, I can be completely normal without anxiety for a while, but normally it's for a day when I'm outside but the next day I go back to my anxious mode. I feel that a lot of people don't understand me, not my teachers, not my parents, not my siblings and even some friends. So far, I've only shared my SA experiences with a close friend, my mum (previously but now nowadays) and my JC school counsellor (which I've stopped seeing ever since I graduated last year).

I know I sound desperate and a bit off-putting as I post my confession here, but all I want is for SA sufferers like me to be heard.


----------



## Psychedilio

18yoboywithSA said:


> Hi I'm an 18 year old boy currently residing in one of the East Side towns in SG. I've been reading a few pages of this forum thread and I'm quite relieved to know that I am not the only one suffering from this damn condition in Singapore. Those who suffer from SA can know how such a lonely and exhausting experience it can be, having to deal with escalating tension and anxiety inside us that occurs routinely during our waking moments. Anyways, I'm not quite sure if I do indeed from SA but I suspect so because my feelings of severe anxiety and insecurities have been inside me for a few months already.
> 
> More about myself, I took my A Levels last year and I'm now waiting to be enlisted in NS in May this year. I have feelings of SA even around family members at home, it never used to be like that but recently it has become so. I think I have problems with OCD, much like what mentioned, as long as I'm anxious, my eyes start darting around from the corner of my eyes. Sometimes people mistake me for leering menacingly at them and some even cough at me (could be covered or uncovered and in or away from my direction). I really seek help for my SA because if I don't do it asap, I could spiral into depression or even think of the unthinkable... I have anxieties about a lot of things: people judging me, people glancing at me, people staring at me, people whispering to each other, people who cough, people who sneeze... So much so, I just feel that I want to be cooped up at home all day. Yet sometimes, with the help of friends or my family that I feel comfortable with, I can be completely normal without anxiety for a while, but normally it's for a day when I'm outside but the next day I go back to my anxious mode. I feel that a lot of people don't understand me, not my teachers, not my parents, not my siblings and even some friends. So far, I've only shared my SA experiences with a close friend, my mum (previously but now nowadays) and my JC school counsellor (which I've stopped seeing ever since I graduated last year).
> 
> I know I sound desperate and a bit off-putting as I post my confession here, but all I want is for SA sufferers like me to be heard.


Hey I understand how you feel. It's hard being at school with SA. I've had SA ever since secondary school (well before actually but I only actually figured out what it was in sec school) and it used to be a huge burden on me. I used to skip school often because I couldn't deal with the anxiety from being around people. After O levels, I joined Lasalle and then a poly for awhile thinking I could focus more on my career and future instead of worrying about people and what they thought of me. But it didn't work. I dropped out of both and was suffering from severe depression by then. SA makes regular things immensely difficult but I just wanted to assure you that you're not alone. Have you been seeing a therapist/counselor/psychiatrist?


----------



## mrbean249

18yoboywithSA said:


> Hi I'm an 18 year old boy currently residing in one of the East Side towns in SG. I've been reading a few pages of this forum thread and I'm quite relieved to know that I am not the only one suffering from this damn condition in Singapore. Those who suffer from SA can know how such a lonely and exhausting experience it can be, having to deal with escalating tension and anxiety inside us that occurs routinely during our waking moments. Anyways, I'm not quite sure if I do indeed from SA but I suspect so because my feelings of severe anxiety and insecurities have been inside me for a few months already.
> 
> More about myself, I took my A Levels last year and I'm now waiting to be enlisted in NS in May this year. I have feelings of SA even around family members at home, it never used to be like that but recently it has become so. I think I have problems with OCD, much like what mentioned, as long as I'm anxious, my eyes start darting around from the corner of my eyes. Sometimes people mistake me for leering menacingly at them and some even cough at me (could be covered or uncovered and in or away from my direction). I really seek help for my SA because if I don't do it asap, I could spiral into depression or even think of the unthinkable... I have anxieties about a lot of things: people judging me, people glancing at me, people staring at me, people whispering to each other, people who cough, people who sneeze... So much so, I just feel that I want to be cooped up at home all day. Yet sometimes, with the help of friends or my family that I feel comfortable with, I can be completely normal without anxiety for a while, but normally it's for a day when I'm outside but the next day I go back to my anxious mode. I feel that a lot of people don't understand me, not my teachers, not my parents, not my siblings and even some friends. So far, I've only shared my SA experiences with a close friend, my mum (previously but now nowadays) and my JC school counsellor (which I've stopped seeing ever since I graduated last year).
> 
> I know I sound desperate and a bit off-putting as I post my confession here, but all I want is for SA sufferers like me to be heard.


Hi, i think i face most of the SA problems u face too. With my close friends i feel alright and sometimes with those fair weather friends i feel pretty calm and relaxed too! But on bad days, i get really tensed with any social interaction and my face becomes dead stiff and i cant smile at all. Even if people crack jokes around me i look dead serious and cant smile and laugh at all. I feel very stressed occasionally becos of this. On a side note, i just finished my a levels too! Enlisting in may as well. Have you applied for the courses?


----------



## reliefseeker

18yoboywithSA- 

Ur definitely not alone with this. I had "Social Anxiety Disorder" to the point of getting diagnosed with schizophrenia instead. (my diagnosis was schizophrenia btw), although symptoms are mostly SA based. 

Due to past and present traumatic experiences, from getting mocked and badmouthed by classmates and neighbours- to being ostracized by almost the entire school. 

Although this might sound very exaggerated, but based from my experiences, when I step into that campus, its like the people there can instantly recognize my face, they will just stare condescendingly and secretly make sarcastic jokes about me amongst themselves, 
i even met quite a few who even bumped against me using their shoulders on purpose.

And recently there is this FYP(Final yr project) group partner whom I got teamed up with, behaved very sarcastically by imitating my SA behavior. 

i have no fking idea what the heck i've done to make him & them behave this way. 

It's hard to find peace at home either, since I lived at the first floor, I have to tolerate the noisy mockeries and inconsiderate behavior by the neighbourhood kids, all because of an ongoing dispute between my family and neighbour. 

Nowadays I just live each day sleeping at home, blasted my ears with mp3 to make myself deaf from all these noises, since the only way I can cope my SA is through listening to songs. It is getting harder for me to find the motivation and function like a normal human being again.


----------



## 18yoboywithSA

Psychedilio said:


> Hey I understand how you feel. It's hard being at school with SA. I've had SA ever since secondary school (well before actually but I only actually figured out what it was in sec school) and it used to be a huge burden on me. I used to skip school often because I couldn't deal with the anxiety from being around people. After O levels, I joined Lasalle and then a poly for awhile thinking I could focus more on my career and future instead of worrying about people and what they thought of me. But it didn't work. I dropped out of both and was suffering from severe depression by then. SA makes regular things immensely difficult but I just wanted to assure you that you're not alone. Have you been seeing a therapist/counselor/psychiatrist?


Hi thank you for being the first to reply to me. Somehow the forum seems a bit lag when u post replies is it? Or maybe different timezone. That time I post my first reply is like can see on computer but cannot see on my iPod straightaway yet. Regarding myself seeing a therapist/counsellor/psychiatrist, unfortunately no, I have not visited one for months already. My last visit to my school counsellor was in October or November 2012 but because of A Levels and all the time constraints, I stopped seeing from either end Oct or early Nov. Anyway, I recall the methods that the counsellor helped me, I think I did go through a short period of CBT but it didn;t help me in the long run still because I only went through it for like 5 times, lasting up to 2 hours each time only. Well anyways, I do hope to get to know you and others in this forum thread in person sometimes soon.

Y'know, sometimes it's really hard to convince myself that I'm a good guy, I have confidence and that I can be normal. In the past, I would always want to imitate those cool guys you see in movies/tv dramas with all their swagger and sometimes 'f**kcare' attitude about this world, but whenever I have SA attacks, I just feel like retreating into a dark corner. Fortunately, I have a close friend who sorta understands my condition but I feel that having SA as a condition makes myself damn lonely a lot of times, because after all, I must rely on my willpower to overcome it (hopefully). But it's just so exhausting physically and mentally.

I think one of the key to cure SA is to just let it go when you're having an anxiety attack. Just gotta tell yourself that even normal people sometimes have feelings of anxiety. In fact, I don't think SA sufferers are like abnormal or what, it's just that our anxiety cause us to over-react, I suppose.

There were a few unpleasant incidents that occured while I had anxiety attacks. Recently, I was talking to my cousin on an MRT train ride from Clementi on a certain night, when suddenly, my anxiety attacks kicked in. It's like I can hear what my cousin is saying, but I really can't process any thoughts in my mind clearly, and I go like 'orh' 'okay' 'sure' only. Inside me I am freaking nervous.. What made it worst is that when the train stops at a particular station, two young men came inside the cabin and they stood opposite us and as soon as they saw that I was excessively blinking (signs of SA) and maybe having some spasming facial expressions, they just like want to siam away from me. Even the lady beside me also siam away. It's damn hurting you know? I feel that a lot of normal people out there just don't understand SA sufferers, though research shows that 1 in 5 Singaporeans suffer from some sort of social phobia/anxiety.

Other times, when I had Chemistry tuition at home to prepare myself for A levels, my Chemistry tutor would have to sit beside me. I vividly remember that almsot every lesson, he would turn his face away to the side away from my direction and cough very loudly. But sometimes, he couldn't turn away in time and some of his saliva got onto my face. Because of these incidents, I started to hate myself because I really don't know what's wrong with myself. I was so paranoid that I took many camera shots to see if I make any guailan or funny facial expressions but always see nothing wrong. Maybe a good illustration of what I do unconsciously is like this:









And some people even ridicule SA sufferers like us. I know it's only human nature to observe and study each other facial expressions but sometimes I feel that they are being rude giving us cynical looks and stares and disgusted facial expressions. There's a lot other incidents that happened to me every since I got SA but it take very long to type out. Maybe face-to-face communication would be easier to relate them out.

Then again, I see hope for SA sufferers. I feel that, instead of complentating about all those nasty incidents that happened to us, we just gotta move on with our life. Try to forget, and try to forgive those people who make fun of us. Just accept that people cough or make funny expressions at SA sufferers is because it's like some spontaneous reaction. Trust me, recently I identified that not all people who cough at me after I make spasming facial expressions or suddenly feel damn f**king anxious is because they disapprove or are judging you, sometimes it's they really can't control it one. I find myself unconsciously coughing when I encounter someone who is damn anxious at that moment and I'm near him.

And lastly, sorry for WOT.


----------



## 18yoboywithSA

mrbean249 said:


> Hi, i think i face most of the SA problems u face too. With my close friends i feel alright and sometimes with those fair weather friends i feel pretty calm and relaxed too! But on bad days, i get really tensed with any social interaction and my face becomes dead stiff and i cant smile at all. Even if people crack jokes around me i look dead serious and cant smile and laugh at all. I feel very stressed occasionally becos of this. On a side note, i just finished my a levels too! Enlisting in may as well. Have you applied for the courses?


QFT. Yeah man, it's like somedays when my friends (usually is those I close to but those that will judge me one) ask me to gym or go movie or something outside, I feel like declining but then I every try to decline before but kena suan. They say I avoiding them, or say that I no purpose in life don't want to improve my fitness to have happier life. Ya I know I always look sad and depressed, sometimes angry, but it;s not my fault ok? I got SA one, and these type of friends, I really think twice abt telling them of my condition because I scared they avoid me like the plague after that. Yup applied for NUS and NTU already. Didn't do as to my expectations maybe because I had this SA thing suddenly affecting me.

Oh btw, you could say I was bullied since pri sch atw to JC. In pri sch, I was bullied for being smaller size and looking nerdy (by primary 3 I had 300 degrees myopia you can imagine I look like a frog). I was called names such as 'gay' and '******'. But I still recall my pri sch days to be fairly happy, because despite being bullied damn badly at pri 5 at the start, I managed to join the so-called cool gang and make a lot of friends, at the same time abandoning those so-called losers and gays which I was friends with initially. P.s. I'm sorry I don't mean to use the term gay in an insulting manner. Then in lower sec sch, I was ostracized by a lot of pple in my CCA which was band because I damn small size also, damn shy and act a bit childish. In upper sec, I started to grow more so people don't really bully me physically and verbally, at least not directly. But somehow, because of my experiences of being truly lonely and abused, I was damn scared of being alone. That only made things worse, for classmates just assumed that I'm a loner hence one by one they started sidelining me. Of course, there were 4 to 6 guys and girls who accepted me for who I was but then the rest just feel I not normal and want to avoid me. It got so bad to the point that, if I cannot get to eat with my closer friends in class during recess, I would just remain alone in class and do loner things like playing hp games, sleeping on table and staring on blank walls. In JC, however, I became more normal I guess: more sociable less shy more easier to talk to. But that rosy picture only lasted for a few months.Just because I played an april fool's prank on a guy in class, he started disliking me and he managed to get his newly formed gang in class to ostracize me. The rest is history. Other groups also didn't like me. At that point in time I was still quite normal ba. Okay to sum things up, people hated me even though I acted normal and didn't purposely do things to offend them, but around June 2012 onwards or somewhere around that, I sorta discovered I suddenly had unwarranted anxieties that occurred spontaneously for no rhyme or reason. At first I blamed my schoolwork stress, but then it got to a point where I really shun social interaction if I can because I scared people would look at me weirdly or something.

Oh and I recently came back from a HK trip. I don't want to say the full details but there were a few episodes of anxiety attacks there, maybe because there more crowded than Singapore literally, and the intensity of the attacks was damn high. After that trip, during a dinner at home, my mum pulled me aside and ask me why I like to blink so many times one. I just tell her that I had social anxiety lor. Anw, I can see my parents and family care about me la, they trying to understand my SA. It's really been a long time discussing with my mum about my SAD and that day, I really broke down in front of her because I couldn't bear it anymore.

That's about all I guess.


----------



## 18yoboywithSA

tensedboy said:


> 18yoboywithSA-
> 
> Ur definitely not alone with this. I had "Social Anxiety Disorder" to the point of getting diagnosed with schizophrenia instead. (my diagnosis was schizophrenia btw), although symptoms are mostly SA based.
> 
> Due to past and present traumatic experiences, from getting mocked and badmouthed by classmates and neighbours- to being ostracized by almost the entire school.
> 
> Although this might sound very exaggerated, but based from my experiences, when I step into that campus, its like the people there can instantly recognize my face, they will just stare condescendingly and secretly make sarcastic jokes about me amongst themselves,
> i even met quite a few who even bumped against me using their shoulders on purpose.
> 
> And recently there is this FYP(Final yr project) group partner whom I got teamed up with, behaved very sarcastically by imitating my SA behavior.
> 
> i have no fking idea what the heck i've done to make him & them behave this way.
> 
> It's hard to find peace at home either, since I lived at the first floor, I have to tolerate the noisy mockeries and inconsiderate behavior by the neighbourhood kids, all because of an ongoing dispute between my family and neighbour.
> 
> Nowadays I just live each day sleeping at home, blasted my ears with mp3 to make myself deaf from all these noises, since the only way I can cope my SA is through listening to songs. It is getting harder for me to find the motivation and function like a normal human being again.


Hi Tensedboy, I see you are one of the more active forummers in this thread around. Nice to meet you  Though I can't relate fully to you because so far, I never really had people who live nearby me who directly mock me or something, but I can understand the pain you go through ba.. Share with you sth. That time, I walking on the road, then just nice my neighbor drive his car and pass by me. I was suddenly so anxious that I just bowed my head and I'm not sure if he reacted or what, but probably I think he knows there's something wrong with me. I didn't bow my head like as in that kind of shy shy behavior, but is like damn jerking and forceful one. Well that's a minor incident. And at least I didn't get to see if that neighbor got make any ridiculing facial expressions towards me. About your neighbors, I really feel pity that such people in the world exist. No wonder a lot of people say Singapore is a first-world country with people behaving as third-world barbarians. Such an unkind society. Such an uncaring government. So few channels for ex-convicts, mental disorder sufferers and wayward youths to seek help. Especially for the first two groups, there is an obvious stigma and social avoidance towards these people as long as people see a need to categorize you into one of these categories. I digress...

Anw, just want to share with you a TV show I think not bad ba. It's the channel 5 show hosted by hady mirza called Journey with Me. I watch one episode about this guy who was cyberbullied and bullied in real life by his classmates because he a bit mentally challenged. Then the good news is that there was a psychologist that helped him cope through that period of darkness and also got those bullies to say sorry to him and accept him for who he is. Sometimes really, when I watch this show, I still feel got hope for people who are depressed because they kena bullied or outcasted. But then it's a show only, a lot of bullying cases go unreported. Worse is in public, people can really do anything they like to you and get away with it (except violence). In public, whenever I got anxiety attacks, I realize a lot of people just avoid me like the plague. Okay, that one I still okay. Then got people stare at me as if seeing if I okay or not. But it's usually not the concerned stare. Is the judgemental one. Then really I make a really worried facial expression not once or twice, so sometimes they think I being rude to them (from my POV). They do things like purse their lips in contempt, cock their eyebrows and cough at me. And as I mentioned before, I have anxiety about people coughing and sneezing as well as staring.

I read a bit on schizophorenia and I learn that those suffering from serious SAD got a chance to suffer from more complicating mental disorders like schizo, depression and even worse insanity. I watch one video about one woman shouting away at commuters and I read the newspaper article. A relative of hers wrote that she actually suffers from schizo and is asking the public to accept her antics and ignore them. The point being, is that, I don't mind if gt ppl talk among themselves that she mentally unsound, but when I read some of the comments on youtube, a lot pple juz criticize her behavior without realizing she suffering from schizo. Bet some of those goondu commenters don't even know what schizo sufferers go thr. There's even a MRT remix that pokes fun at her on youtube now. I really find Singaporeans f**king childish and lowlife, can even make fun of these groups of people. Even on stomp also will have. Nobody chose to suffer from SAD or schizo, these pple making it worse by stating the obvious and even saying things like 'I will whack the lady if I see her' or 'should chain such pple up in imh'. Even the f**ker glenn ong dj arsehole said sth abt mental ppl oso on radio.

Sry brah, just fking pissed at these pple who find entertainment in mocking people going through times of depression etc. Hmm, about the pple judging you or what, I really think no choice suck it up ba. I know not easy. The truth is, very few pple will understand what SAD sufferers are like and even fewer of these few will accept us for who we are. So luckily, there's this active thread for us sufferers to relate to each other.

Anw, it's a bit late now and do hope to meet you guys someday soon


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## 18yoboywithSA

Though can't fully relate to all of you guys, I still trying my best to understand you all. Aft all, we're all here to help each other out right? 

And also, do point me out if I ever say things that offended any of you. My SAD though is quite serious, but sometimes the too judgemental and too rational side of me makes me say things that a hurtful I guess? Really just hope that you all take my negative comments with a pinch of salt. I don't purposely want to offend pple one


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## 18yoboywithSA

tensedboy said:


> 18yoboywithSA-
> 
> Ur definitely not alone with this. I had "Social Anxiety Disorder" to the point of getting diagnosed with schizophrenia instead. (my diagnosis was schizophrenia btw), although symptoms are mostly SA based.
> 
> Due to past and present traumatic experiences, from getting mocked and badmouthed by classmates and neighbours- to being ostracized by almost the entire school.
> 
> Although this might sound very exaggerated, but based from my experiences, when I step into that campus, its like the people there can instantly recognize my face, they will just stare condescendingly and secretly make sarcastic jokes about me amongst themselves,
> i even met quite a few who even bumped against me using their shoulders on purpose.
> 
> And recently there is this FYP(Final yr project) group partner whom I got teamed up with, behaved very sarcastically by imitating my SA behavior.
> 
> i have no fking idea what the heck i've done to make him & them behave this way.
> 
> It's hard to find peace at home either, since I lived at the first floor, I have to tolerate the noisy mockeries and inconsiderate behavior by the neighbourhood kids, all because of an ongoing dispute between my family and neighbour.
> 
> Nowadays I just live each day sleeping at home, blasted my ears with mp3 to make myself deaf from all these noises, since the only way I can cope my SA is through listening to songs. It is getting harder for me to find the motivation and function like a normal human being again.


For me my way of escaping from my traumatizing experiences is to play computer games at home such as dota and maplestory. I know playing such games will do nth to improve my condition, because to get over my condition, one of the steps is to go out more and experience sh*t and learn from it. I rly can relate to ur experience of being unmotivated to carry on life normally. It msut be rly hard on you, having to school still and facing these people daily. I hope u regard me as ur newfound friend and as newfound fren, I wan to tell u that u are an awesome human being and God loves you a lot. Don't give up just yet! There will be a day u will overcome SAD and schizo!  (I know a bit insincere and also I dun think u can feel my genuine encouragement becuz i nt there in person but i do rly mean what i say)

Am rly considering gng to psychologist soon, at least before I enlist. If my condition is that bad too, I think I have no choice but to tell the MO one the day I enlist into tekong abt my SAD. Also rn, am gng to try out what my best friend told me to do; read this book titled 'discovering meditation' by somebody by the name of Godwin and exploring the tinybuddha website.

Also hope that mrbean sees this. I see you enlisting in may. Cool! I;m gng in on may 8. Do hope we get to knw ea other in camp


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## 18yoboywithSA

Am so sry for posting so many at one go, just realized how annoying I can be in forums. Sorry I'm a forum newbie


----------



## toughcase

18yoboywithSA said:


> Am so sry for posting so many at one go, just realized how annoying I can be in forums. Sorry I'm a forum newbie


Don't worry about it at all, just post here whenever to lessen your emotional burden. I read that you've only been having social anxiety for a few months, right? If that's the case, it should be much easier for your mind to be re-wired back to normal. I've been having this for 10 years. In the end, I'm recommended to take medication because it's been dragged on for too long. I urge you to seek help asap. Find a counselor or a psychologist. Don't drag it until it becomes a much harder issue to due with in the future.

You need to know that no one is looking at you all the time, just take a deep breath and look around your environment to gain assurance(I know it's hard). If someone did looked back/said s hit, remember that they're gonna forget you in a moment. People are too occupied with their own lives to think of other people most of the time.

Here's something useful:

http://inoveryourhead.net/the-complete-guide-to-not-giving-a-****/


----------



## toughcase

18yoboywithSA said:


> QFT. Yeah man, it's like somedays when my friends (usually is those I close to but those that will judge me one) ask me to gym or go movie or something outside, I feel like declining but then I every try to decline before but kena suan. They say I avoiding them, or say that I no purpose in life don't want to improve my fitness to have happier life. Ya I know I always look sad and depressed, sometimes angry, but it;s not my fault ok? I got SA one, and these type of friends, I really think twice abt telling them of my condition because I scared they avoid me like the plague after that. Yup applied for NUS and NTU already. Didn't do as to my expectations maybe because I had this SA thing suddenly affecting me.
> 
> Oh btw, you could say I was bullied since pri sch atw to JC. In pri sch, I was bullied for being smaller size and looking nerdy (by primary 3 I had 300 degrees myopia you can imagine I look like a frog). I was called names such as 'gay' and '******'. But I still recall my pri sch days to be fairly happy, because despite being bullied damn badly at pri 5 at the start, I managed to join the so-called cool gang and make a lot of friends, at the same time abandoning those so-called losers and gays which I was friends with initially. P.s. I'm sorry I don't mean to use the term gay in an insulting manner. Then in lower sec sch, I was ostracized by a lot of pple in my CCA which was band because I damn small size also, damn shy and act a bit childish. In upper sec, I started to grow more so people don't really bully me physically and verbally, at least not directly. But somehow, because of my experiences of being truly lonely and abused, I was damn scared of being alone. That only made things worse, for classmates just assumed that I'm a loner hence one by one they started sidelining me. Of course, there were 4 to 6 guys and girls who accepted me for who I was but then the rest just feel I not normal and want to avoid me. It got so bad to the point that, if I cannot get to eat with my closer friends in class during recess, I would just remain alone in class and do loner things like playing hp games, sleeping on table and staring on blank walls. In JC, however, I became more normal I guess: more sociable less shy more easier to talk to. But that rosy picture only lasted for a few months.Just because I played an april fool's prank on a guy in class, he started disliking me and he managed to get his newly formed gang in class to ostracize me. The rest is history. Other groups also didn't like me. At that point in time I was still quite normal ba. Okay to sum things up, people hated me even though I acted normal and didn't purposely do things to offend them, but around June 2012 onwards or somewhere around that, I sorta discovered I suddenly had unwarranted anxieties that occurred spontaneously for no rhyme or reason. At first I blamed my schoolwork stress, but then it got to a point where I really shun social interaction if I can because I scared people would look at me weirdly or something.
> 
> Oh and I recently came back from a HK trip. I don't want to say the full details but there were a few episodes of anxiety attacks there, maybe because there more crowded than Singapore literally, and the intensity of the attacks was damn high. After that trip, during a dinner at home, my mum pulled me aside and ask me why I like to blink so many times one. I just tell her that I had social anxiety lor. Anw, I can see my parents and family care about me la, they trying to understand my SA. It's really been a long time discussing with my mum about my SAD and that day, I really broke down in front of her because I couldn't bear it anymore.
> 
> That's about all I guess.


Oh crap, I used to have that blinking problem too! My cousin imitated me for that and I was really hurt. Somehow I stopped doing that though. I pinched my arm instead for a while. Wonder which is worse. Maybe you can swap that with breathing deeply in-and-out instead? It helped me for sure.


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## 18yoboywithSA

Anyone having problems with this forum thread now? I try to click last page repeatedly but it only shows me the second last page and not page 38 which is supposed to show results 741 to 750 of 750. Guess I'm really suaku in forums :X


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## reliefseeker

18yoboywithSA said:


> Anyone having problems with this forum thread now? I try to click last page repeatedly but it only shows me the second last page and not page 38 which is supposed to show results 741 to 750 of 750. Guess I'm really suaku in forums :X


Can't get to the last page too, somehow the previous few posts disappeared.

For some reason I can't stay log-on to this forum using my home laptop, it keeps kicking me out whenever i try to execute an action, but I'm able to stay login here using lab comp, 
think they banned my laptop's IP i guess.


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## 18yoboywithSA

Now the entire page 38 kena deleted. I have feeling it's my fault because I spammed too many quick replies at one go. Probably the forum moderators deleted my replies and hence the entire page is gone now. I hope it's only temporary :X

Now I really need to learn some forum etiquette lols...


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## toughcase

18yoboywithSA said:


> Now the entire page 38 kena deleted. I have feeling it's my fault because I spammed too many quick replies at one go. Probably the forum moderators deleted my replies and hence the entire page is gone now. I hope it's only temporary :X
> 
> Now I really need to learn some forum etiquette lols...


Hahaha, no worries. They deleted my replies to you too, ah well. This forum has always been faulty, I couldn't make an account for a few weeks because they thought that my email was a spam account.

Anyway, I read that you've only been having social anxiety attacks for a few months right? I urge you to seek help asap. If I had seek help at age 13, it wouldn't have developed into such a hard habit to break. Find a psychologist who can help rewire the way you think in social situations. Every time you tense up, force yourself to slow down, focus on your breathing and look around slowly. Usually you will gain assurance that no one is looking at you. If they are, or even say something that makes you want to disappear, think to yourself, "I won't see them after I move away. No one remembers me anyway. Everyone's too pre-occupied with their own lives."

This may be useful:

http://inoveryourhead.net/the-complete-guide-to-not-giving-a-****/


----------



## toughcase

tensedboy said:


> 18yoboywithSA-
> 
> Ur definitely not alone with this. I had "Social Anxiety Disorder" to the point of getting diagnosed with schizophrenia instead. (my diagnosis was schizophrenia btw), although symptoms are mostly SA based.
> 
> Due to past and present traumatic experiences, from getting mocked and badmouthed by classmates and neighbours- to being ostracized by almost the entire school.
> 
> Although this might sound very exaggerated, but based from my experiences, when I step into that campus, its like the people there can instantly recognize my face, they will just stare condescendingly and secretly make sarcastic jokes about me amongst themselves,
> i even met quite a few who even bumped against me using their shoulders on purpose.
> 
> And recently there is this FYP(Final yr project) group partner whom I got teamed up with, behaved very sarcastically by imitating my SA behavior.
> 
> i have no fking idea what the heck i've done to make him & them behave this way.
> 
> It's hard to find peace at home either, since I lived at the first floor, I have to tolerate the noisy mockeries and inconsiderate behavior by the neighbourhood kids, all because of an ongoing dispute between my family and neighbour.
> 
> Nowadays I just live each day sleeping at home, blasted my ears with mp3 to make myself deaf from all these noises, since the only way I can cope my SA is through listening to songs. It is getting harder for me to find the motivation and function like a normal human being again.


Man, I feel like kicking your project mate. I've met a fair share of as sholes too.


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## reliefseeker

They say no matter how cruel life is, we have to face and accept it no matter what, yes, i tried time and time again, my mind becomes even more twisted & abnormal from it.

seems like i really do need intense CBT sessions and probably a stay in IMH. But then again, those are too costly and too late i guess.


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## 18yoboywithSA

Feel you bro..

Lately I've been feeling so anxious inside. It's like a monster that may get out of control. Even when I'm in a moving vehicle, I get very anxious especially when that bus/mrt/car stops because I'm worried about what the people around me will think about me when they see me. I have to keep telling myself to avoid twitching my eyelids or making sudden hand jerks. I really don't want to embarass myself. It's even worse while on public transport especially if I'm alone. In the car, it;s not that bad because I still have my family members to talk to. In fact, I realize talking or trying hard to think about something else that lightens up my mood e.g. 'I'm going to take a shower once I get home' makes me less anxious. But this relief is only temporary for once I get reminded that I'm in this social situation, I feel that I will screw myself up.

Just today, my mum brought me to the gym. While I was in the gym, I feel very paiseh inside but it's more paiseh than normally accepted. Don't care if uncle/aunty/teenager walk past me, I will automatically bend my head down or look away at something else, basically anything but look at their faces because I'm scared of any facial expressions they will give me. But sometimes no choice, have to look at their faces for a split second. While I was on the treadmill, I don't know why but I feel that I have no control over my facial muscles and my face keeps twitching especially around my eye area and lips. I was very afraid of making a silly-looking face accidentally. I probably did, but I don't know. And to make things worse, sometimes when I pull the silly-looking face, people around me will just clear their throats or cough. I'm not very sure if they were looking at me at the time I was doing that funny facial expression but I somehow feel that my anxiousness is rubbing onto others around me and making them feel uncomfortable, hence their spontaneous reaction is to cough. It's like if you see a cockroach crawling 2cm from your toes, you will probably cringe and want to back off. Something like fight-or-flight response. Luckily no incident happened today except minor ones. There were people who cleared their throat when they passed by me because I was feeling quite anxious inside. I caught a guy looking at my direction for a long time with a puzzled expression and also while inside the toilet, at the time I was about to leave the toilet, a middle-aged man walked in. So I was feeling both anxious and shocked and I probably jerked my head forward or something, basically something quite unnatural, and I saw that he gave me a puzzled expression with a hint of anger. Argh... I really don't know what to do with my life. I know my life is quite easy, as I have finished my exams and waiting to be enlisted only, but then it seems SAD makes me unable to function normally.

My mum also says she will bring me to the gym everyday but I'm really afraid that I will get more anxious only. Any thoughts guys? Should I politely turn her down on certain days I don't feel like going out?

And once again, sorry for WOT.


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## reliefseeker

18yoboywithSA said:


> Feel you bro..
> 
> Lately I've been feeling so anxious inside. It's like a monster that may get out of control. Even when I'm in a moving vehicle, I get very anxious especially when that bus/mrt/car stops because I'm worried about what the people around me will think about me when they see me. I have to keep telling myself to avoid twitching my eyelids or making sudden hand jerks. I really don't want to embarass myself. It's even worse while on public transport especially if I'm alone. In the car, it;s not that bad because I still have my family members to talk to. In fact, I realize talking or trying hard to think about something else that lightens up my mood e.g. 'I'm going to take a shower once I get home' makes me less anxious. But this relief is only temporary for once I get reminded that I'm in this social situation, I feel that I will screw myself up.
> 
> Just today, my mum brought me to the gym. While I was in the gym, I feel very paiseh inside but it's more paiseh than normally accepted. Don't care if uncle/aunty/teenager walk past me, I will automatically bend my head down or look away at something else, basically anything but look at their faces because I'm scared of any facial expressions they will give me. But sometimes no choice, have to look at their faces for a split second. While I was on the treadmill, I don't know why but I feel that I have no control over my facial muscles and my face keeps twitching especially around my eye area and lips. I was very afraid of making a silly-looking face accidentally. I probably did, but I don't know. And to make things worse, sometimes when I pull the silly-looking face, people around me will just clear their throats or cough. I'm not very sure if they were looking at me at the time I was doing that funny facial expression but I somehow feel that my anxiousness is rubbing onto others around me and making them feel uncomfortable, hence their spontaneous reaction is to cough. It's like if you see a cockroach crawling 2cm from your toes, you will probably cringe and want to back off. Something like fight-or-flight response. Luckily no incident happened today except minor ones. There were people who cleared their throat when they passed by me because I was feeling quite anxious inside. I caught a guy looking at my direction for a long time with a puzzled expression and also while inside the toilet, at the time I was about to leave the toilet, a middle-aged man walked in. So I was feeling both anxious and shocked and I probably jerked my head forward or something, basically something quite unnatural, and I saw that he gave me a puzzled expression with a hint of anger. Argh... I really don't know what to do with my life. I know my life is quite easy, as I have finished my exams and waiting to be enlisted only, but then it seems SAD makes me unable to function normally.
> 
> My mum also says she will bring me to the gym everyday but I'm really afraid that I will get more anxious only. Any thoughts guys? Should I politely turn her down on certain days I don't feel like going out?
> 
> And once again, sorry for WOT.


All I have to say is, ur mum is so caring to u lol..

I can relate to most of the stuffs u said, like fear of making weird expression etc...Just try to avoid over-thinking, analyzing other things, and distract urself thru activities like, listening to mp3, reading, playing mobile games, etc. as long as u focus on what you're doing, other things wouldnt matter already.
anyway I'm not very good when it comes to dealing with SA symptoms, as i had major problems managing my thoughts and emotions myself..

As for the gym, you should give it a try since u have ur mum by ur side. of course you can also turn down her if you feel very anxious or mentally unprepared.


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## reliefseeker

toughcase said:


> I can make an ok first impression, but afterwards I get so terrified of screwing the impression up that I tend to react strangely/coldly towards people...This usually builds up until people start disliking me. Then it becomes this:


Yes usually when I have this fear of screwing up other people's impression of me, i resorted to the safest way which is...minding my own business. it didnt work out well though, since my mind is filled with anxiety thoughts, i became self-occupied and this gave all sorts of awkward signals.

Like for example, when I'm anxious, I tend to shake my legs repeatedly, put up a stern face, do things repetitively and even imitating the actions of others unintentionally.

All these funny body languages gave others the false impression that i'm angry, strange, weird, arrogant, sarcastic or even insane. As a result it turned them off completely.
I had such numerous experiences, to the extent of getting mocked & stabbed in the back quite a few times coz of this (like the picture described, won't go any further)

there are a few occasions where i did tried making an attempt to talk to them,
at times it worked out, but most of the time my anxiety disorder completely took over and i was forced to make a retreat.


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## 18yoboywithSA

tensedboy said:


> All I have to say is, ur mum is so caring to u lol..
> 
> I can relate to most of the stuffs u said, like fear of making weird expression etc...Just try to avoid over-thinking, analyzing other things, and distract urself thru activities like, listening to mp3, reading, playing mobile games, etc. as long as u focus on what you're doing, other things wouldnt matter already.
> anyway I'm not very good when it comes to dealing with SA symptoms, as i had major problems managing my thoughts and emotions myself..
> 
> As for the gym, you should give it a try since u have ur mum by ur side. of course you can also turn down her if you feel very anxious or mentally unprepared.


Yes I agree with you that my mum is very caring towards me. However, as a teenage boy soon becoming a young man, I feel that I should be more independent instead and not let her worry so much about me. I wanted to hide my condition from my mum but ever since I broke down in front of her and confided in her last Saturday, she has noticeably been more concerned about my well-being. She always gives comforting words like 'you're normal, my son'. Yesterday she even encouraged me to go lunch with her after gym but I politely turned her down because I'm afraid that my SAD would surface in public. I couldn't even accede to the request of buying my own lunch. Eventually she still bought lunch back for both of us.

I think I really owe a lifetime of gratitude to my mum. Recently she's been the only person I've been spending most of my time with. Being my mum is not easy man. She has three other children to look after, and one's still in kindergarten. That's why I feel that I should take the initiative to address my SAD by myself instead of relying on my parents for help. Also, do you guys agree that I should quit playing so much computer games? For the past few months I have been playing Maplestory and DoTA almost everyday, with some days ranging from 2 hours to even 14 hours, as long as I don't have to go out at all? Not just my mum, even my best friend says that computer games doesn't do anything to help my SAD and could even make it worse i.e. too much emotions involved in gaming? Anyway, to all you SAD sufferers out there, I just want to encourage you by saying this: there will always be at least one person who will fully understand and wholeheartedly embrace you as an individual.


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## 18yoboywithSA

Btw, has anyone read 'Discovering Meditation' by Godwin Samararatne? How would you guys rate this book? My best friend recommended me to read this to help me alleviate my SAD symptoms. Of course, reading alone won't help much, I also have to try and practise the techniques being mentioned in this book. Anyone who's interested to read this can also download the e-book off the Internet as it's free.


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## blackcurrant

Hello guys. I'm from Singapore too. So glad to see this thread around!

I have social anxiety as well and avoidant personality. I just re-entered school after dropping out of my last one, thought it would mean a chance to reinvigorate my life and restart, but I'm getting hampered by the same old problems again. :afr

I feel that every time I step out of my comfort zone, it reinforces all the negative thoughts I have about myself and of my ineptitude in social situations that I just want to hole myself back in. But at the same time I wanna leap out of my inhibitions and be a 'normal' person - only, I don't know how. And my social problems only get worse with age, I used to think that when you grow older you would automatically snap out of your shyness, but I don't think that anymore.

@18yoboy : Haven't heard of the book but I wouldn't mind trying it out!


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## reliefseeker

18yoboywithSA said:


> Yes I agree with you that my mum is very caring towards me. However, as a teenage boy soon becoming a young man, I feel that I should be more independent instead and not let her worry so much about me. I wanted to hide my condition from my mum but ever since I broke down in front of her and confided in her last Saturday, she has noticeably been more concerned about my well-being. She always gives comforting words like 'you're normal, my son'. Yesterday she even encouraged me to go lunch with her after gym but I politely turned her down because I'm afraid that my SAD would surface in public. I couldn't even accede to the request of buying my own lunch. Eventually she still bought lunch back for both of us.
> 
> I think I really owe a lifetime of gratitude to my mum. Recently she's been the only person I've been spending most of my time with. Being my mum is not easy man. She has three other children to look after, and one's still in kindergarten. That's why I feel that I should take the initiative to address my SAD by myself instead of relying on my parents for help. Also, do you guys agree that I should quit playing so much computer games? For the past few months I have been playing Maplestory and DoTA almost everyday, with some days ranging from 2 hours to even 14 hours, as long as I don't have to go out at all? Not just my mum, even my best friend says that computer games doesn't do anything to help my SAD and could even make it worse i.e. too much emotions involved in gaming? Anyway, to all you SAD sufferers out there, I just want to encourage you by saying this: there will always be at least one person who will fully understand and wholeheartedly embrace you as an individual.


For me, stopping games does not do anything to help my SAD, it worsens my depression still, if anything, it makes me feel empty.

But this is not to say that games does help, for the past years, i've spent most of my life online surfing internet, watch videos, and it made me develop a dependency on it. sort of like, addicted to anything that's online, and become less interested in things that happen in reality, like people ...etc...

So i would say the internet has made me more withdrawn.


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## 18yoboywithSA

@blackcurrant thats great! unfortunately i've not been following up my friend's advice. It always seems the computer screen is so mesmerizing for me to start reading the e-book. Argh..

to others: anyone here have problems with facial expressions? As in you feel that you have no control over facial expressions sometimes, those times when you;re especially anxious. And these times happen at the most inconvenient of times: a stranger walking past you, socializing with friends, with your family members at home and even inside a vehicle when the vehicle stops. Y'know sth? This sH*t feeling is really killing me inside. I;m so damn conscious because I know for a fact that I have made funny expressions at others before. For example, at the gym today, I was doing my workout routines. Initially I felt normal and was focussed on finishing my reps at the different stations. And you guys know right? When you're working out sometimes it's so strenous you just make a facial expression that shows you're in pain. For me in my case, I feel that I overdid the facial expressions a few times. And then when people beside or in front of me saw it, they coughed or cleared their throat. I'm not sure if I have OCD about people coughing & clearing their throats, but I've been bothered by this problem for a few months already. It's a damn stupid anxiety problem and because of it, I even fear going out! Anw, at that time, I didn't even know that I overdid my facial expressions until when I went home and looked at the mirror, I realized I kinda gave a face that looks like a sneer/smug look. You know that look where you squint your eyes, smile with one side of your lips noticeably more raised up and sometimes you cock one of your eyebrows higher (usually it is the eyebrow that is opposite the corner of your raised lips), hence this could explain why people coughed or cleared their throats because they thought I was being mean towards them. I'm not crazy when I tell you this ok? Today I wore a cap while I was gymming so I couldn't observe all their facial expressions clearly. But other times, I find that people would just look away quickly when I looked at them casually (but the actual fact is that I was giving that face).

Then again, maybe I feel that I am thinking too much. How could it be possible that even someone behind me would cough away because I made a certain facial expression when they can't even see my face? Or how is it that I also coughed and cleared my throat instinctively but I wasn't offended by anyone in particular? So people, what are your thoughts about my paranoid behavior? Do you really think that I should observe my facial expressions? Am planning to practise how to make proper facial expressions everyday in front of the mirror a few times...

Lastly, would like to ask you guys something. Do you think it is possible for others to sense your growing state of anxiety? How and why do you think they can do that? Is it our body language (visible symptoms)? Is it the vibes we give? And even worse, is it possible to actually inflict somebody with our anxiety in the vicinity around us for that temporary period of time we are together? Such that they try to get rid of their anxiety by coughing/clearing their throat/walking away/shifting around/looking away/glancing quickly at different locations?

Man, SAD can really bruise a persons's ego...


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## 18yoboywithSA

tensedboy said:


> For me, stopping games does not do anything to help my SAD, it worsens my depression still, if anything, it makes me feel empty.
> 
> But this is not to say that games does help, for the past years, i've spent most of my life online surfing internet, watch videos, and it made me develop a dependency on it. sort of like, addicted to anything that's online, and become less interested in things that happen in reality, like people ...etc...
> 
> So i would say the internet has made me more withdrawn.


Ya agree that spending too much time on the Internet doesn't help our condition improve, or worse, could worsen it. But it's like we don't have a choice because we are so afraid of interacting with people and going to public places... It is really hard for me right now to lead a normal and happy day without worrying about my SAD.. And those people (friends and even family) like to pass sarcastic remarks at us saying we are computer addicts/good-for-nothing (well at least in my case) when truth is some don't even know the condition that we are going through or some know about our condition but they ignore our symptoms. It's like the POV of SAD sufferers is out of league of the perspectives of normal people. Personally, I've been labelled terms such as 'loser', 'miserable', 'blur', 'can't tell right from wrong' etc just because I don't want to work, I play too much computer games and I don't fancy going out mostly. Of course, the majority of the people who said such things are kinda unaware that I have a suspected case of social anxiety disorder.

Btw, anyone plays maplestory or dota here? hehe


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## 18yoboywithSA

Happy Good Friday everyone! xD


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## Psychedilio

18yoboywithSA said:


> Hi thank you for being the first to reply to me. Somehow the forum seems a bit lag when u post replies is it? Or maybe different timezone. That time I post my first reply is like can see on computer but cannot see on my iPod straightaway yet. Regarding myself seeing a therapist/counsellor/psychiatrist, unfortunately no, I have not visited one for months already. My last visit to my school counsellor was in October or November 2012 but because of A Levels and all the time constraints, I stopped seeing from either end Oct or early Nov. Anyway, I recall the methods that the counsellor helped me, I think I did go through a short period of CBT but it didn;t help me in the long run still because I only went through it for like 5 times, lasting up to 2 hours each time only. Well anyways, I do hope to get to know you and others in this forum thread in person sometimes soon.
> 
> Y'know, sometimes it's really hard to convince myself that I'm a good guy, I have confidence and that I can be normal. In the past, I would always want to imitate those cool guys you see in movies/tv dramas with all their swagger and sometimes 'f**kcare' attitude about this world, but whenever I have SA attacks, I just feel like retreating into a dark corner. Fortunately, I have a close friend who sorta understands my condition but I feel that having SA as a condition makes myself damn lonely a lot of times, because after all, I must rely on my willpower to overcome it (hopefully). But it's just so exhausting physically and mentally.
> 
> I think one of the key to cure SA is to just let it go when you're having an anxiety attack. Just gotta tell yourself that even normal people sometimes have feelings of anxiety. In fact, I don't think SA sufferers are like abnormal or what, it's just that our anxiety cause us to over-react, I suppose.
> 
> There were a few unpleasant incidents that occured while I had anxiety attacks. Recently, I was talking to my cousin on an MRT train ride from Clementi on a certain night, when suddenly, my anxiety attacks kicked in. It's like I can hear what my cousin is saying, but I really can't process any thoughts in my mind clearly, and I go like 'orh' 'okay' 'sure' only. Inside me I am freaking nervous.. What made it worst is that when the train stops at a particular station, two young men came inside the cabin and they stood opposite us and as soon as they saw that I was excessively blinking (signs of SA) and maybe having some spasming facial expressions, they just like want to siam away from me. Even the lady beside me also siam away. It's damn hurting you know? I feel that a lot of normal people out there just don't understand SA sufferers, though research shows that 1 in 5 Singaporeans suffer from some sort of social phobia/anxiety.
> 
> Other times, when I had Chemistry tuition at home to prepare myself for A levels, my Chemistry tutor would have to sit beside me. I vividly remember that almsot every lesson, he would turn his face away to the side away from my direction and cough very loudly. But sometimes, he couldn't turn away in time and some of his saliva got onto my face. Because of these incidents, I started to hate myself because I really don't know what's wrong with myself. I was so paranoid that I took many camera shots to see if I make any guailan or funny facial expressions but always see nothing wrong. Maybe a good illustration of what I do unconsciously is like this:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And some people even ridicule SA sufferers like us. I know it's only human nature to observe and study each other facial expressions but sometimes I feel that they are being rude giving us cynical looks and stares and disgusted facial expressions. There's a lot other incidents that happened to me every since I got SA but it take very long to type out. Maybe face-to-face communication would be easier to relate them out.
> 
> Then again, I see hope for SA sufferers. I feel that, instead of complentating about all those nasty incidents that happened to us, we just gotta move on with our life. Try to forget, and try to forgive those people who make fun of us. Just accept that people cough or make funny expressions at SA sufferers is because it's like some spontaneous reaction. Trust me, recently I identified that not all people who cough at me after I make spasming facial expressions or suddenly feel damn f**king anxious is because they disapprove or are judging you, sometimes it's they really can't control it one. I find myself unconsciously coughing when I encounter someone who is damn anxious at that moment and I'm near him.
> 
> And lastly, sorry for WOT.


Haha I don't think it's the timezone. Maybe there was a glitch in this forum. Probably that's why an entire page went missing recently.

Anyway, man, I wish I could meet you guys in real life then at least I wouldn't feel so alone. None of the people I hang out with remotely have any signs of SA. Neither do they empathize with it/understand it. In fact they're mostly over confident, in a bad way and when I don't respond in a "normal" way, they take it that I'm rude, arrogant or awkward. It makes me feel like I'm surrounded by people but still all alone.

You're the first person with SA who has told me you have physical reactions when suffering from an anxiety attack though! When I have an anxiety attack, I too tend to zone out and give lackluster answers but mostly I just become really quiet because I'm focusing on making the discomfort go away. It's interesting. And I do empathize with you, the way people react. I bet it does hurt. But people are just people, what they think shouldn't matter.

How have you been coping without a therapist? Do you have family you confide in?


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## mrbean249

18yoboywithSA said:


> For me my way of escaping from my traumatizing experiences is to play computer games at home such as dota and maplestory. I know playing such games will do nth to improve my condition, because to get over my condition, one of the steps is to go out more and experience sh*t and learn from it. I rly can relate to ur experience of being unmotivated to carry on life normally. It msut be rly hard on you, having to school still and facing these people daily. I hope u regard me as ur newfound friend and as newfound fren, I wan to tell u that u are an awesome human being and God loves you a lot. Don't give up just yet! There will be a day u will overcome SAD and schizo!  (I know a bit insincere and also I dun think u can feel my genuine encouragement becuz i nt there in person but i do rly mean what i say)
> 
> Am rly considering gng to psychologist soon, at least before I enlist. If my condition is that bad too, I think I have no choice but to tell the MO one the day I enlist into tekong abt my SAD. Also rn, am gng to try out what my best friend told me to do; read this book titled 'discovering meditation' by somebody by the name of Godwin and exploring the tinybuddha website.
> 
> Also hope that mrbean sees this. I see you enlisting in may. Cool! I;m gng in on may 8. Do hope we get to knw ea other in camp


Hey there! 
I am enlisting on May 9! Feel abit excited, while anxious at the same time. Really afraid that my anxiety attacks will act up when i am in camp... I havent really gotten a diagnosis on my condition. Anyway its good to see that ur mum knows about it and is trying to give u all the support! I havent told anyone about this for fear that they my judge me or feel uncomfortable around. Anyway try telling urself this when ur anxiety acts up: "I got nothing to be afraid of" Don't know whether it works for u but u can give it a try. I feel that being more confident reduces the frequency of the attacks.. For me i think it sort of eases the anxiety for a while, and puts me a little more at ease. Btw, what course did u apply for? I didnt do that well either...


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## reliefseeker

18yoboywithSA said:


> Ya agree that spending too much time on the Internet doesn't help our condition improve, or worse, could worsen it. But it's like we don't have a choice because we are so afraid of interacting with people and going to public places... It is really hard for me right now to lead a normal and happy day without worrying about my SAD.. And those people (friends and even family) like to pass sarcastic remarks at us saying we are computer addicts/good-for-nothing (well at least in my case) when truth is some don't even know the condition that we are going through or some know about our condition but they ignore our symptoms. It's like the POV of SAD sufferers is out of league of the perspectives of normal people. Personally, I've been labelled terms such as 'loser', 'miserable', 'blur', 'can't tell right from wrong' etc just because I don't want to work, I play too much computer games and I don't fancy going out mostly. Of course, the majority of the people who said such things are kinda unaware that I have a suspected case of social anxiety disorder.
> 
> Btw, anyone plays maplestory or dota here? hehe


I used to play maplestory alot, but I've stopped playing already, my game hasn't been patched for months and my character level isn't very high cuz i get very bored playing and training alone. 
And since i'm spending almost 100% of my day in my bedroom with laptop, i don't mind playing it again haha.

For those who wanna meet up, I'm available on weekdays- after working hours, 
and on weekends- anytime  
So far I've already met quite a number of members here in this group. 
But nowadays most of them are rather busy with their stuffs and they don't come back here anymore.


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## 18yoboywithSA

@tensedboy that's great do you mind playing Aquila on maplestory? unfortunately ya, you'll have to patch it so it's gonna be kinda troublesome. Anw if u rly dun mind playing, just add imbafcker and richardburns to ur BL. These are my 2 main characters I'm currently playing. Heck, I don't even mind creating a new character or use one of my characters with similar levels to yours just to train together with you.

@Psychedilio ya I'm starting to feel really depressed because of my SAD. The physical reactions do not occur everytime, I would say. In terms of all my SAD symptoms, these are the easiest (yet still hard) to suppress. Okay, maybe my face doesn't cringe in such a way that the man does, but as I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, I find that I tend to give a smirk/condescending look uncontrollably when I'm very anxious. Many people just don't realise I cannot control and hence I have had many experiences where they were cold towards me, either avoiding me when I was trying to interact with them or by imitating my facial expressions. It sucks to be like this. Then again, I can totally relate with you on the part that you appear lackluster and quiet when the anxiety arises. I rmb a time where I was with my cousin in an MRT train which wasn't crowded but nevertheless had people around, and I was liek unable to think of proper replies when my cousin bombarded me with questions because I was feeling so anxious inside. On the onset, there were no visible symptoms of my anxiety, but soon later, I started blinking furiously and probably broke into a cold sweat. Guess my appearance scared the two strangers opposite me as they walked away after seeing me in my anxious state. Anw I do have my mom and my best friend who understand my condition best and already accept me for I am, though they strongly disagree with my computer addiction and have been trying all sorts of ways to get me outside of the house. My best friend, though, is already in the army and I feel very bad to turn his request to meet him outside after his first book-out just because I was afraid of my social anxiety symptoms surfacing. It was simply a night cycling around Pasir Ris Park with probably some ghostbusting (hehe we're kinda adventurous together) which I was looking forward to. Friends like him are hard to come by too, for that has been the umpteen time I rejected his request to go out together.

@mrbean249 OMG I CAN TOTALLY RELATE TO HW U FEEL. I am so looking forward to NS because of the 24 click route march after the BMT. I felt motivated to serve my country after watching Ah Boys to Men 1 and 2. Somehow, I rather be tekan by sergeant until keesiao then to go outside in the real world and dio all those social anxiety disorder symptoms. That's why I really afraid no one understands me in NS and I kena blackmarked by everyone including sergeant. Hmm anw, I think you could consider telling the MO about your SAD on the very first day of enlistment not to get downgraded (maybe u can not sure) but to let you platoon sergeant understand your condition and not put you through unnecessary stress. I'm also thinking about that but I am very scared I kena labelled as a chao keng kia and there goes my happy NS days. Aiya actually I think even though we suffer from SAD, must be optimistic man! Maybe go NS only our SAD condition improve leh.. And lastly, want to ask u one last question. Are you posted to Tekong camp? If you are, I hope we can look out for each other whenever possible! =)


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## chewren

18yoboywithSA i just added you in bl


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## pssychedelic

Hey guys, hope you all are coping well. I didn't read most of the replies - too long (don't have enough time now). 

I would like to give some advice on NS life. 

If you're not from NCC, I'd strongly suggest you watch youtube videos from CyberPioneer (singapore ns youtube channel) on how things are like inside. Get a better understanding of how things work. Learn the commands (malay commands are used). Familiarize with these. Make sure you know pretty well what's going to be taught inside. 

I have had SAD my whole life, as written few pages before. NS was very challenging for me. If I didn't have my ex as my pillar of support, I wouldn't know what would have become of me. 

Because of my SAD, I didn't interact much with others. I was known to be one of the most quiet among my mono-intake batch. Some would label me as the most quiet. Because of how I didn't dare to ask questions, I experienced great stress trying to make sure I listened everything clearly and not make any mistakes. The experience of feeling uneasy and making sure I don't make mistakes was horrible. 

And this experience extended to my 2 reservists. 

I was quite unnerved during my first shooting range. A fair bit of things I didn't manage to absorb. So, I just kinda monkey see monkey do. I wanted so much to learn the things proper and feel at ease but my SAD prevented me from doing so. I'm pretty lucky that nothing major happened to me. 

I had been singled out by instructors and some people didn't like me because they thought I was whatever-whichever. My SAD didn't allow me to show myself proper. I was bullied verbally for my bmt by my bunkmate and I didn't dare to say anything. I just took everything in and it soon became hatred. 

It's going to be very, very difficult. But for your future, fight this SAD. If you have people who really care for you, that's heartening. If you don't have people to care for you, learn to care and love yourself. Everyone deserves a meaningful life.

So, do prepare beforehand. Learn the commands, how to fold smart 4, how to tie your boots, what to expect at the rifle range, what to expect during bmt, etc.


----------



## reversethecurse

Just curious does anyone suspect that they might have other disorders/illness alongside SA (like maybe a personality disorder)since SA is one of those disorders that have a high comorbidity likelihood.


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## Psychedilio

reversethecurse said:


> Just curious does anyone suspect that they might have other disorders/illness alongside SA (like maybe a personality disorder)since SA is one of those disorders that have a high comorbidity likelihood.


Yes, avoidant personality disorder. My therapist also told me I seem to have masochistic personality disorder in which I subconsciously continue to find ways to hurt myself and make moving on much harder.


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## pssychedelic

tensedboy said:


> Today my psychiatrist told me that given my condition(schizophrenia), it is possible to be exempted from national service.
> 
> My schizo and anxiety is currently under treatment by him, which means he'll made the decision on whether to give me the "green light" to serve ns.
> 
> So these are the choices he have
> 
> 1)Tell the NS medical officers that my condition is stabilized, and allow me to serve national service under conditions of PES E, with no handling of weapons whatsoever.
> 
> 2)Arrange a 3 months NS trial for me.
> 
> 3)Excuse me completely from serving NS as long as I think I'm not mentally fit enough to serve it.
> 
> So, should I serve NS? Is those 2 years worth it?


Schizophrenia sounds serious to me. What's the likelihood of treating it fully?

From what I know briefly, schizophrenia shouldn't be taken lightly. So... perhaps not doing NS will be good for you.

NS is more of an experience (nothing so desirable that you should die die go for it). It makes you more disciplined and teaches you who's the higher authority (you can go against teachers in school but you can't go against superiors in NS unless you want to risk heading to the Detention Barracks). It gives you an experience of how military life is - you'll understand and appreciate military films better.


----------



## reliefseeker

pssychedelic said:


> Schizophrenia sounds serious to me. What's the likelihood of treating it fully?
> 
> From what I know briefly, schizophrenia shouldn't be taken lightly. So... perhaps not doing NS will be good for you.
> 
> NS is more of an experience (nothing so desirable that you should die die go for it). It makes you more disciplined and teaches you who's the higher authority (you can go against teachers in school but you can't go against superiors in NS unless you want to risk heading to the Detention Barracks). It gives you an experience of how military life is - you'll understand and appreciate military films better.


Not high, i guess. 
For my case, I don't really experience the typical symptoms of schiz like, hallucination or hearing voices, its more of the thoughts inside my head that gets out of control, and the symptoms are very similar to social anxiety disorder.

So far all the anti-psychotics that is being prescribed to me, does nothing to improve my condition except giving me unwanted side effects, however, benzos helps a little bit to calm me down.


----------



## pssychedelic

Exercise and eat healthily (organic if possible). Stop those pills since they have no effect on you..

Here's my personal take on fighting these disorders:

- accept that it's going to take time for u to be normal; no point brooding over the past. It won't change anything except to make you more miserable

- free your heart of negative emotions. Embrace positive emotions. Bc negative makes u feel worse and makes the future look bleak

- look at every challenge as an opportunity for you to be stronger

- live your life with love and gratitude. do what you love, follow your intuition


Everyone knows this eh. I knew all these too few years back but I was leading a miserable life. As I move on more into adulthood (can't waste any more years) and my pillar of emotional support taken away from me, my mindset started to change at a more grand scale.

All along, what we need is to change the mindset to see the challenges as opportunities and embrace fear courageously. And believe that eventually, we will reach our desired destination.


----------



## pssychedelic

http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/08/15/12-choices-your-future-self-will-thank-you-for/

i find this site to be packed with wisdom.

i wish i could say that the journey would be bearable and easy. but it's not going to be so. we just have to believe that what lies ahead is worth fighting for.

have a great weekend people.


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## 18yoboywithSA

Hi peeps, it's been quite awhile since I last posted. Recently, my mum and I have been visiting the gym in the early afternoon. We go twice to thrice a week. Henceforth, I would say that the only times I am outside is when I go to the gym. I really don't know why but I don't fancy the idea of going out with my friends and cousins because I am afraid my social anxiety will just happen anytime. Because of this inhibition, I cancelled a night cycling outing with a friend last minute, I turned down my cousin's request to bowl at yishun tmr and I also turned down a friend's request to play LAN and have dinner. The reason why I didn't want to bowl with my cousin is because I live in the east, hence I would have to commute all the way to yishun by mrt and I am really afraid my SAD symptoms could just flare up along the journey. Frankly, I don't see a need to be afraid of going out since based on my recent experiences at the gym, I find that I can behave quite normally as a person.

Although I must add that I still make certain minor social faux passes (because I get anxious) while in the gym or during the to and fro journey to the gym, I find myself getting stronger physically and psychologically each time. Psychologically is because I've not really been through any bull**** so far and also because I am slowly learning to accept my condition yet live life normally and happily. I also recently told a forummer that I am afraid to visit the gym because of my SAD and he agreed with me saying that going to the gym may make one self-conscious (which does more harm than good to our condition). But I guess I've been able to suppress my self-conscious thoughts most of the time, hence so far my anxiety attacks have not been severe or rather, I have not suffered from anxiety levels that are high enough to be deemed as anxiety attacks.


----------



## pssychedelic

tensedboy said:


> Yes, I've already stopped those pills, but this pdoc just wont give up, everytime i told him i'm suffering from his antipsychotic drugs, he would prescribe me another one.
> 
> Recently the Seroquel(another type of antipsychotic) that i took, makes my mouth fking dry and my throat, sore. My panic attacks are back again still. So yeah, I've just stopped taking that. But the damage is done.
> 
> The only drug that worked, is an anti-depressant which is Mirtazapine, not that it gets rid of my anxiety though,
> even xanax have no effect on me.
> 
> And so far, I've come to terms with the situation that I'm in. I have already arrived to a point where I'm fully satisfied with isolation, I hang around alone, I eat out alone, I coop myself at home and I don't talk to others most of the time
> 
> Social life matters nothing to me anymore. I'm happy as long as I keep myself away from where all these chatter, gossips and noises exist.


wow this doc is really persistent. private or govt? mm.. just insist your way. you're the patient! maybe he just wants to earn more money.

I so understand how you feel about coming to terms of the situation you're in. I know the current situation seems pretty bleak. i suppose your family isn't that supportive since i don't hear you speak much about them? i feel family support is very impt. i didn't have much either.

it's good that you're hanging around alone and eating out alone. because this shows that at least you have the courage to do so. usually, SAD people are embarrassed or whatever to eat and go out alone. you're one more step closer to being independent from this disorder.

change is very difficult. this is why many don't change and adapt as well when their life circumstances switch.

anyway! when you go to NS, try to calm urself and appear normal.. you will surely make friends. with friends, you will find more meaning in your life.

i know it's hard to see so right now. but trust me, when you start to have friends (even a few is better than nth) and perhaps even a gf, you will find more meaning to your life.

find a goal for yourself. something which has meaning to you. like for me: i have always wanted to learn how to play a guitar.

when you start to do something which you like or you have always wanted to do, you naturally find more meaning in your life.

what about aiming for ippt gold for your ns? it's $400!!


----------



## pssychedelic

it's real nice to hear how close your mom and you are. i wish i had this rapport 

i would suggest you go out with your cousins and friends. take it as more exposure to overcome your SAD. the more you get exposed and the more you internalize logical thoughts, the faster you're going to heal yourself.

the anxiety is bound to hit. but you have to constantly tell yourself you're capable of great things and you have the capacity to rectify this situation. don't let little setbacks bring you down. thicken your skin and march on like a soldier.

the more times you cancelled meet ups with ppl.... sooner or later, they won't ask you out anymore bc you keep rejecting them (this really happens; it's a fact). and this will just worsen the situation. because you don't have social interaction and the limited exposure will not treat the disorder. you become even more self-conscious and insecure about yourself.

what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. as you already know, we grow stronger muscles because the tears get repaired. likewise, these social battle scars will only serve to make you stronger and more independent.

have heart, be brave. you and everyone is capable of such. it sounds freaking cliche but the human mind knows no limits.



18yoboywithSA said:


> Hi peeps, it's been quite awhile since I last posted. Recently, my mum and I have been visiting the gym in the early afternoon. We go twice to thrice a week. Henceforth, I would say that the only times I am outside is when I go to the gym. I really don't know why but I don't fancy the idea of going out with my friends and cousins because I am afraid my social anxiety will just happen anytime. Because of this inhibition, I cancelled a night cycling outing with a friend last minute, I turned down my cousin's request to bowl at yishun tmr and I also turned down a friend's request to play LAN and have dinner. The reason why I didn't want to bowl with my cousin is because I live in the east, hence I would have to commute all the way to yishun by mrt and I am really afraid my SAD symptoms could just flare up along the journey. Frankly, I don't see a need to be afraid of going out since based on my recent experiences at the gym, I find that I can behave quite normally as a person.
> 
> Although I must add that I still make certain minor social faux passes (because I get anxious) while in the gym or during the to and fro journey to the gym, I find myself getting stronger physically and psychologically each time. Psychologically is because I've not really been through any bull**** so far and also because I am slowly learning to accept my condition yet live life normally and happily. I also recently told a forummer that I am afraid to visit the gym because of my SAD and he agreed with me saying that going to the gym may make one self-conscious (which does more harm than good to our condition). But I guess I've been able to suppress my self-conscious thoughts most of the time, hence so far my anxiety attacks have not been severe or rather, I have not suffered from anxiety levels that are high enough to be deemed as anxiety attacks.


----------



## 18yoboywithSA

pssychedelic said:


> it's real nice to hear how close your mom and you are. i wish i had this rapport
> 
> i would suggest you go out with your cousins and friends. take it as more exposure to overcome your SAD. the more you get exposed and the more you internalize logical thoughts, the faster you're going to heal yourself.
> 
> the anxiety is bound to hit. but you have to constantly tell yourself you're capable of great things and you have the capacity to rectify this situation. don't let little setbacks bring you down. thicken your skin and march on like a soldier.
> 
> the more times you cancelled meet ups with ppl.... sooner or later, they won't ask you out anymore bc you keep rejecting them (this really happens; it's a fact). and this will just worsen the situation. because you don't have social interaction and the limited exposure will not treat the disorder. you become even more self-conscious and insecure about yourself.
> 
> what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. as you already know, we grow stronger muscles because the tears get repaired. likewise, these social battle scars will only serve to make you stronger and more independent.
> 
> have heart, be brave. you and everyone is capable of such. it sounds freaking cliche but the human mind knows no limits.


Hey Psy thx for ur advice. I finally forced myself to go to Pasir Ris Park with my friend for a cycling session today. It was really a leap of faith but I am happy that it was done. All I ever had to do was to tell myself that 'I am definitely going cycling with my good pal tomorrow' on the day before. All in all, I had a whale of a time as we zipped past Pasir Ris Park at night. Ever since I came back from Hong Kong near end of March and that place was where my social anxiety was worsened, I have really dreaded going out.

Recently, anxiety has been a living hell for myself. To my horror, I realized that I could suddenly have this feeling that I was being watched by others even though no one was around me except my friend and I. And then I would suddenly feel anxious. This actually proves that my anxiety triggered by people watching me is unwarranted, and maybe it is just a form of anxiety concocted in my mind. Sometimes, people were not even looking at me in the first place and I would just feel anxious as they passed by me. As such, I have been most afraid of looking at anyone in the eye although I can still maintain eye contact when I am having conversations with others but that is only when I feel comfortable. And even now, on the mrt, I will visibly breathe heavily and a little anxiously when I am trying to take a nap even though the train is not crowded. Other than that, I just cannot sit still in a park if there are people passing by. My mind will go on thinking about all kinds of possibilities that I am being judged by a certain stranger out there. My friend told me that the reason for my anxiety issues is because I am judgemental towards others myself and there are a lot of things that I cannot accept myself. He's probably right, but it's just to depressing to find out my flaws that I cannot accept about myself. Maybe it isn't that saddening, but still I can't bring myself to terms that I have these flaws. Really... I don't mind this social battle scars as Psy had said that these only makes one stronger. But I feel that I cannot take too many at one go.

I'm just living life as it is, day by day. I don't even want to think about NS. And even my friend who cares about me has been telling me that I should spend my time meditating and facing my issues one those days that I prefer to stay at home instead of just playing computer games. It's just that I am so darn addicted..


----------



## pssychedelic

I'm glad you went for the cycling afterall 

Whether is it a bad or good experience, you'll always be thankful you went for that experience. A good experience gives u good memories. A bad experience teaches you things. The worse the experience, the more the lesson sinks into you (the more you won't make the same mistake).

If you have good pals, hang on tight to them. Make effort to go out with them and have happy conversations! As you grow older, you will realize many friendships dilute.

Self-emphasis is very important. Before you do anything which gives you uncertainty and fear, calm yourself down and tell yourself how you can complete the event and that you can complete the event.

After these years, I realize self-discipline and focus is really really really really important. It's mentally draining but we don't have a choice. We just have to keep doing it till we become normal people. And with such a discipline as a habit, even after we become normal people, I believe we can achieve greater things.

Constantly use logical thoughts to rebut your fears. Be in a 24/7 ready alert mode to shield off negative and illogical thoughts. Do not allow fear to seed in you. Of course, sometimes we just get low and down and just want to sleep the day away and ignore everything. This is perfectly fine. We can't possibly be motivated forever. We are human beings with emotions.

Rmb this: When you notice your disorder getting worse, raise a red alert in your mind!!!! The more you allow your disorder to get out of control, the harder it is for you to be "normal". It's better to maintain your disorder at a fixed position than to worsen it.

Like what you said, after coming back from HK, your anxiety increased. Use logical thoughts and tell yourself how things weren't as serious as this before HK.

Eye contact is one tricky area. Especially on trains, forced to sit opposite someone. And sometimes, you will meet people who are relentless in staring. It's particularly difficult when the person sitting opposite wears skimpily or is hot/pretty hahaha. Now looking back at whom I was in the past, I realize that back then, I was showing too many signs of uneasiness. I couldn't maintain eye contact and I would fumble in my words. Have a mental picture of the future you: calm and collected, locked in gaze and speak eloquently. There will be many mistakes and trials before you reach this future you. But always remind yourself that with every practice, you learn what you did wrong and where you're and that you're one step closer to being the future you.

Your statement on how your friend feels that you're judgmental about yourself made me remember of myself. My psychologist told me this too. I believe it's largely due to my innate character and my mom's influence on me. I always felt I'm not good enough for my parents. I grew up being very critical of myself. Even now, I'm always looking at my flaws and comparing myself to others. It's as though until I achieve my idea of what's perfect, I won't be satisfied. Having someone tell you that he/she loves you the way you are really helps.

These social battle scars will only strengthen you if you learn from them. I believe you have seen how some are still shy and reserved in their 30s, 40s, 50s. I have told myself that I never want to be in their position when I'm their age.

And it's really sad how these people are deprived of a better life. Recently, I learn of my dad's friend. I met him couple of times. He is in his early 50s and graduated from ntu/nus. But he's just a normal engineer today. I was expecting more since during his generation, university graduates form a very small % of the population. I heard from dad that this guy is quite shy and quiet. Which naturally means you won't be noticed by your superiors.

This world is superficial. Even when we don't mean to, we subconsciously think better of people who dress better, look better. People like to hang out with people whom are more fun, know how to have fun and speak more.

Nobody has time to bother and read more into people whom are quiet and reserved.

The world won't change for us. The only one that changes is us. It's a fact that won't change yesterday, today and tomorrow.

When I read Psy, for 2 seconds, I thought you meant the korean dude PSY. hahaha

What your friend said is true. Meditation and self-reflection is really important. We have to be constantly aware of our issues, our fears and steps to rid of them. When we choose to not think about it until situations and events arrive to force us to think about them..... we can't improve much. However, don't give yourself too much stress. It's a balance. It takes some time to find this balance but eventually you will. At the start, I overstressed myself. But now, I handle it better.

Take a break from gaming. Thank God I was never addicted to games. Go take long strolls. Cycle through ECP. Take some jogs. Climb bukit timah hill. Head to Mount Sophia's Mount Emily when you're in town. Do all these to help you calm yourself and gain new perspectives.

Like I mentioned above in this thread, if you're not from NCC, it will be good to educate yourself on what's done in NS. I regretted not doing so and back then, there wasn't youtube cyberpionnertv for me to learn more about it too.

Keep trying and have faith!



18yoboywithSA said:


> Hey Psy thx for ur advice. I finally forced myself to go to Pasir Ris Park with my friend for a cycling session today. It was really a leap of faith but I am happy that it was done. All I ever had to do was to tell myself that 'I am definitely going cycling with my good pal tomorrow' on the day before. All in all, I had a whale of a time as we zipped past Pasir Ris Park at night. Ever since I came back from Hong Kong near end of March and that place was where my social anxiety was worsened, I have really dreaded going out.
> 
> Recently, anxiety has been a living hell for myself. To my horror, I realized that I could suddenly have this feeling that I was being watched by others even though no one was around me except my friend and I. And then I would suddenly feel anxious. This actually proves that my anxiety triggered by people watching me is unwarranted, and maybe it is just a form of anxiety concocted in my mind. Sometimes, people were not even looking at me in the first place and I would just feel anxious as they passed by me. As such, I have been most afraid of looking at anyone in the eye although I can still maintain eye contact when I am having conversations with others but that is only when I feel comfortable. And even now, on the mrt, I will visibly breathe heavily and a little anxiously when I am trying to take a nap even though the train is not crowded. Other than that, I just cannot sit still in a park if there are people passing by. My mind will go on thinking about all kinds of possibilities that I am being judged by a certain stranger out there. My friend told me that the reason for my anxiety issues is because I am judgemental towards others myself and there are a lot of things that I cannot accept myself. He's probably right, but it's just to depressing to find out my flaws that I cannot accept about myself. Maybe it isn't that saddening, but still I can't bring myself to terms that I have these flaws. Really... I don't mind this social battle scars as Psy had said that these only makes one stronger. But I feel that I cannot take too many at one go.
> 
> I'm just living life as it is, day by day. I don't even want to think about NS. And even my friend who cares about me has been telling me that I should spend my time meditating and facing my issues one those days that I prefer to stay at home instead of just playing computer games. It's just that I am so darn addicted..


----------



## pssychedelic

I just saw your post.

I'm like you. I dropped out 2-3 years ago bc of my disorder. And I have started school again 7 months back.

Sadly... the problems won't go away just by entering a new phase of re-entering school..

I'd hate to burst your bubble.. but this is the way things go about..

the problems will only be reduced when you take adopt a more optimistic outlook on life and you try actively to confront your fears.

All this being said, I'm not perfect and I'm still far from whom I want to be. I'm in the same boat as you. I face these fears, I coward out of them in the past and now.

But trying is the only shot we have at having a better and meaningful life.

I do agree with you that as we get older, the social problems seem to get worse. Because we have to consider many factors. We're officially adults and we can't live in the small world like we used to like, back in secondary school.

take care, all the best!



blackcurrant said:


> Hello guys. I'm from Singapore too. So glad to see this thread around!
> 
> I have social anxiety as well and avoidant personality. I just re-entered school after dropping out of my last one, thought it would mean a chance to reinvigorate my life and restart, but I'm getting hampered by the same old problems again. :afr
> 
> I feel that every time I step out of my comfort zone, it reinforces all the negative thoughts I have about myself and of my ineptitude in social situations that I just want to hole myself back in. But at the same time I wanna leap out of my inhibitions and be a 'normal' person - only, I don't know how. And my social problems only get worse with age, I used to think that when you grow older you would automatically snap out of your shyness, but I don't think that anymore.
> 
> @18yoboy : Haven't heard of the book but I wouldn't mind trying it out!


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## pssychedelic




----------



## mrbean249

18yoboywithSA said:


> @tensedboy that's great do you mind playing Aquila on maplestory? unfortunately ya, you'll have to patch it so it's gonna be kinda troublesome. Anw if u rly dun mind playing, just add imbafcker and richardburns to ur BL. These are my 2 main characters I'm currently playing. Heck, I don't even mind creating a new character or use one of my characters with similar levels to yours just to train together with you.
> 
> @Psychedilio ya I'm starting to feel really depressed because of my SAD. The physical reactions do not occur everytime, I would say. In terms of all my SAD symptoms, these are the easiest (yet still hard) to suppress. Okay, maybe my face doesn't cringe in such a way that the man does, but as I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, I find that I tend to give a smirk/condescending look uncontrollably when I'm very anxious. Many people just don't realise I cannot control and hence I have had many experiences where they were cold towards me, either avoiding me when I was trying to interact with them or by imitating my facial expressions. It sucks to be like this. Then again, I can totally relate with you on the part that you appear lackluster and quiet when the anxiety arises. I rmb a time where I was with my cousin in an MRT train which wasn't crowded but nevertheless had people around, and I was liek unable to think of proper replies when my cousin bombarded me with questions because I was feeling so anxious inside. On the onset, there were no visible symptoms of my anxiety, but soon later, I started blinking furiously and probably broke into a cold sweat. Guess my appearance scared the two strangers opposite me as they walked away after seeing me in my anxious state. Anw I do have my mom and my best friend who understand my condition best and already accept me for I am, though they strongly disagree with my computer addiction and have been trying all sorts of ways to get me outside of the house. My best friend, though, is already in the army and I feel very bad to turn his request to meet him outside after his first book-out just because I was afraid of my social anxiety symptoms surfacing. It was simply a night cycling around Pasir Ris Park with probably some ghostbusting (hehe we're kinda adventurous together) which I was looking forward to. Friends like him are hard to come by too, for that has been the umpteen time I rejected his request to go out together.
> 
> @mrbean249 OMG I CAN TOTALLY RELATE TO HW U FEEL. I am so looking forward to NS because of the 24 click route march after the BMT. I felt motivated to serve my country after watching Ah Boys to Men 1 and 2. Somehow, I rather be tekan by sergeant until keesiao then to go outside in the real world and dio all those social anxiety disorder symptoms. That's why I really afraid no one understands me in NS and I kena blackmarked by everyone including sergeant. Hmm anw, I think you could consider telling the MO about your SAD on the very first day of enlistment not to get downgraded (maybe u can not sure) but to let you platoon sergeant understand your condition and not put you through unnecessary stress. I'm also thinking about that but I am very scared I kena labelled as a chao keng kia and there goes my happy NS days. Aiya actually I think even though we suffer from SAD, must be optimistic man! Maybe go NS only our SAD condition improve leh.. And lastly, want to ask u one last question. Are you posted to Tekong camp? If you are, I hope we can look out for each other whenever possible! =)


Yeah! We should try to keep an optimistic outlook about this problem. Definitely helps. I do want to try to cope with this anxiety problem in NS first. If i really feel that i cannot take the stress then i might go and consult the MO. And yeah! Posted to tekong camp too! Let me know ur company when u go there! Hopefully these 2 years in NS can change our lives! Anyway which course are u applying for in uni?


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## andrewjo

*Self help group.*

Hi, guys do u all have a coummunity? so that we can meet. Hope to meet people suffering like me.

Basically im 24 this year. have been suffering from ocd for 10 - 12 years.

But onli started seeing a psychiatrist few years back. My problem is still the same

i also severe SAD but not really diagnosed but the funny thing is that friend thinks im outspoken and my superiors think that the way i talk to them is like im so scared of them but when im with my freinds my boss say that i have so many funny stories to tell like my boss told my friends that they seem to always like to sit down and hear my stories till they neglect their work. All this things my superior say is is very contradicting to me.

Im super lousy i mean super super lousy in doing presentation get so nervous during a presentation that i always say the wrong things. have always failed my presentation.

and also when i talk to superiors i get super scared i dont even know how to answer them when they question me . Esp teachers or authorities. anyone higher position them me i get super scared of them.

another things is like when i go to see a doctor im always worried i talk to the doctor like im very scared like that. and also when going pass malaysia custom there is a bag check when the police is there and im always very afraid when they check bag and the police will get suspicious of me. and did a full body check on me. It happen 9 out of 10 times when i go malaysia.

FOr my OCD. im obssessed with cleaniness espcially my bed have to be like germ free. must bathe finish straight away go my bed cannot go anywhere else. I also tend to repeat my prayers over and over again at night. and when i pray i have to hold my breathe i cannot breathe . must complete my prayer nicely and perfectly that kind.

also i tend to repeat and thinks of what i did wrong when i talk to others. like did i look very worried and scared when talk to superiors or doctors or teachers as they are higher authorities. but have no problems with people im comfortable with.

Hope to meet people like u guys and hope that u all will not be afraid of me thinking that im a siao kia. although i know that i behave quite abnormally.


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## 18yoboywithSA

@mrbean249 alright sure . I'm trying for civil engineering at NTU and iirc EEE at NUS.


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## 18yoboywithSA

andrewjo said:


> Hi, guys do u all have a coummunity? so that we can meet. Hope to meet people suffering like me.
> 
> Basically im 24 this year. have been suffering from ocd for 10 - 12 years.
> 
> But onli started seeing a psychiatrist few years back. My problem is still the same
> 
> i also severe SAD but not really diagnosed but the funny thing is that friend thinks im outspoken and my superiors think that the way i talk to them is like im so scared of them but when im with my freinds my boss say that i have so many funny stories to tell like my boss told my friends that they seem to always like to sit down and hear my stories till they neglect their work. All this things my superior say is is very contradicting to me.
> 
> Im super lousy i mean super super lousy in doing presentation get so nervous during a presentation that i always say the wrong things. have always failed my presentation.
> 
> and also when i talk to superiors i get super scared i dont even know how to answer them when they question me . Esp teachers or authorities. anyone higher position them me i get super scared of them.
> 
> another things is like when i go to see a doctor im always worried i talk to the doctor like im very scared like that. and also when going pass malaysia custom there is a bag check when the police is there and im always very afraid when they check bag and the police will get suspicious of me. and did a full body check on me. It happen 9 out of 10 times when i go malaysia.
> 
> FOr my OCD. im obssessed with cleaniness espcially my bed have to be like germ free. must bathe finish straight away go my bed cannot go anywhere else. I also tend to repeat my prayers over and over again at night. and when i pray i have to hold my breathe i cannot breathe . must complete my prayer nicely and perfectly that kind.
> 
> also i tend to repeat and thinks of what i did wrong when i talk to others. like did i look very worried and scared when talk to superiors or doctors or teachers as they are higher authorities. but have no problems with people im comfortable with.
> 
> Hope to meet people like u guys and hope that u all will not be afraid of me thinking that im a siao kia. although i know that i behave quite abnormally.


Hi Andrew, don't worry about whether anyone in this forum will judge you or not. Although this forum is public, I'm sure none of the members here will see you as different from us as after all, we're here to help one another battle this social anxiety.

Aside from that, I can relate to you some of the things you mentioned. In my case, I had broken down in a restaurant once because of my social anxiety disorder, so mine is probably quite serious. Truth be told, I actually respect all those who has a job and yet they are suffering from anxiety issues, because I myself had only landed one part-time job and I am currently not looking for any more part-time jobs while waiting for my NS. I'm happy for you to hear that you're an outspoken person and that most people see you as a normal and cheerful person, including your friends. I'm sure these people are not lying to you, but I know how you feel... Do you feel that you are pretending to be outspoken, positive etc etc when deep inside you have a lot of anxiety? Anxiety indeed is a living hell...Rest assured, I believe that you can overcome this anxiety and in the meantime, just continue to be a positive influence to the others around you!


----------



## deepsweech

Hi Guys, I moved to Singapore about 10 years ago, I'm 36 now and had my first episodes of attacks 2 months back. It was so difficult since I dont know what's wrong. I just found my answer after all the checkups when I spoke with my sister, who also has it. She said our mom had it so I guess it runs on the blood. Im married with 2 kids. Its triggered usually when Im alone. Its getting better now since Im learning how to cope with it. How to filter things in my mind. But there are some days that I cant just control it. Im just so happy to find this forum for those who has the same disorder as me. If you like to meet up and talk about things, hear some tips and advices on how to battle this I would gladly join the group. God bless you all.


----------



## andrewjo

Hi. 18yoboy. I also know how u feel. its like i feel people who suffer with SAD can relates to each other the best. even doctors also dont really know much. that is what i think. Since doctor are there just to diagnose us. Im wondering whether i should up my medication intake by my psychiatrist. but im quite skeptical about it because i personally dont feel medication helps. what is your comment on this?

anyway. Im not pretending to be outspoken but i really wish i can pretend to be outspoken so that people cannot tell that im suffering from SAD and OCD. but its just that my freinds say that i have alot of funny stories to tell people. which is why they like to laugh at my stupid stories in a good way i mean . i try to take that as an encouragement when my superior told my freind that i am outspoken because nobody ever tell me im outspoken its just that my superior who observe on how the way i talk to my freinds just make a comment. I try to take that as en encouragement to make me not feel so bad for myself. Im just a very funny guy. But i wish can i be funny not only to my freinds. but also to strangers , teachers or higher authorities.

Since i have always been having problems with SAD. But regarding talking to superior or other higher authorites. i really cannot talk to them at all. i get super scared like the feeling like they are trying to threathen me that sort of things. in fact i feel my heart beating so fast that its like my heart is going to burst out that kind of feeling.

Hate myself for that. I really wish that things can be improve.

anyway regarding u enlisting to ns? have u tell your psychiatrist about u enlisting to ns soon. because people with SAD will find it abit hard to cope during ns. 

NS have always have this stigma against people with psycological problem. because they always label us as chao keng. For me, i was diagnose with it even before i enlist to ns. So the doctor tried to make things easier for me. 
Its hard to cope during ns with SAD. but i guess u just have to take it as an experience. For me my ns, wasnt a pleasant one. its just that i just tried to go thru it like everyone else does.


----------



## andrewjo

hi deepswhich. i would also like to know if this forum has an outing that sort of things. would really like to talk to people who suffer from it on how they cope with it. or maybe some advice on how to deal with certain situtation when we get super super anxious.

For me , i have a girlfriend. In fact im very lucky to have a very understanding girlfriend who understand that im suffering from this. 

She always say that we can work together to overcome this. but up till now to no avail. Im just glad that she still stays with me. Feel so failure when im a guy i should protect her. but instead because of my SAD. she ends up protecting me all the time.

Its like im the girl in the relationship while she's the guy. Lol


----------



## reliefseeker

andrewjo said:


> Hi, guys do u all have a coummunity? so that we can meet. Hope to meet people suffering like me.


There is a secret facebook group for people with SA, you might wanna PM otakux for details. 
For outings, you might wanna join the meetup group created by meye, http://www.meetup.com/Social-anxiety-and-depression-support-group/


----------



## viperebel

Hi Guys,

It's wonderful to know such a community exists in Singapore. I'm 28 years old this year going through a torrential period in life where i've realised how ridiculously closed minded and socially anxious i've been all this while. Some would say it's exactly what the doctor ordered. I always thought i was a confident outspoken man but boy am i wrong. When the cards are down, i barely have anybody left to turn to and helplessness takes over. I mean, how i went 28 years without knowing i had a problem i have no idea. But i guess the first step is to acknowledge the problem and work on steps to change from within. Hope to talk you guys more about this soon! Have a great day guys.


----------



## duality

*Hi all!*

I've only recently discovered this page, and also the fact that I might have mild social anxiety... It wasn't so bad while I was in Singapore because I had close friends and my family to rely on but now that I'm actually studying abroad I just realised how adverse I was to interacting with new people, during lessons, at shops, in my uni, and even on the internet (this post is taking me a great deal of courage to type).

Not only that, the other Singaporeans here don't really seem to understand my social awkwardness really well either so I'm kinda all by myself in this foreign place and it's getting quite tough :/

(I hope this post isn't too weird I'm so sorry DDD


----------



## snowyxtteo

Hi guys! Im glad to find this support group in this forum. I actually do suffered from Anxiety Neurosis (which is also something like panic attack) since few months ago. Maybe we can gather together and organize some outings to support each other.


----------



## toughcase

Self-shame:






Some self-help worksheets:

http://getselfhelp.co.uk/


----------



## reversethecurse

Guys is there a new chat site?As the old one seems to be a dead site.idk it just feels lik people come and go here makes me wonder what happened to those that posted before did they get better and no longer feel the need to identify with this affliction.is there a newer better SA site?i think it's just probably that people are just busy with their work/school.


----------



## want to be awesome

*hi guys*

hi guys

I just stumble on this site.
i am a 22 years old studying in a private uni.
i have no friends at all.
i have 2 best buddies but one of them is studying overseas, 
the other guy "sign-on" and stay in camp all the time. 
i know 3 people in class but during the holidays, we stop contacting each other. 
besides, we will take different module next semester, so i'm back to square one.

i don't go anywhere during the weekend. 
i don't know where a 22 years old go during weekend. 
i hate shopping. 
i play pc games all the time (i have 30++ games in my steam account).

i'm not very good with conversation.
most of the time, i talk about pc games and our assignment. 
otherwise, i stop talking.

i avoid social situation such as buying movie ticket, dining in a restaurant, buying new clothes, etc. 
i feel pressurize whenever i interact with the staff.
i don't go clubbing so i don't have to order a drink.

i have OCD.
i used to arranging stuff for hours. 
i never delete files on my desktop. 
i never seek treatment since i have "ord" (no more free lunch!).

maybe we can have a get-together soon.


----------



## pssychedelic

What about meeting up with your online gaming friends for online games? Get to know them better as a way to widen your social circle?

It's indeed a challenge... unfortunately.. there's no other way but to slowly expose yourself to these activities which cause you anxiety..

Little by little.. slow progress is nonetheless progress. Month by month.. year by year, you will look back unbelievably that you knocked down many barriers.

For me, i started watching movies alone, dining alone (first at a less crowded place to a more crowded place eventually), shopping alone (first at non-peak hours to peak hours).

It's definitely not going to be easy. This is a harsh fact. Many times you will feel downcast, lost and ask yourself what's the meaning of life and so forth. You allow yourself to feel down for a while, take some "off" days and you go back into improving yourself. After you have conquered this disorder to some extent, you will look back and see yourself as a fighter, not a quitter.

Do something you like or something you're good at (builds self-confidence and self-esteem). All these things help to add value and meaning to your life while the going gets tough. It's important to improve your self-esteem and get rid of unhealthily self-shame thoughts.

Exercise and eat healthily with the aim to be fit (annual IPPT is a good goal). When you exercise somewhat stringently and religiously, you feel your life is more organized and you feel good. I'm sure you know the multifold benefits of exercising.

Do not give more attention than it's due for your disorder. I perfectly understand how SAD can ruin a life and wreck many opportunities. I knew I had it since I was 7 (vivid memory). But don't over-inflate and amplify it. When you make it seem worse than it is, the future and challenges look bleak. Remember many others (even though they don't have SAD), they do struggle in life because of other issues. While SAD is indeed devastating, we shouldn't give it permanent-disabled-earth-shattering-status. Looking at others' bigger misfortunes can help us to appreciate more what we have now.

Be more appreciative of what you've. And you'll slowly feel less negative emotions creeping up on you.

Look at things positively. Things are bound to push you down. But you have to have the right attitude to tell yourself you'll get up again. This is aptly put by Sylvester Stallone in Rocky Balboa: : L*et me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!*

I realize I grew/improved the most when there's no one to help me. It sure hell was difficult. I only improved because I wanted to as well. No one I could talk to. Once in a while, I speak a little to my closer friend about how I feel. And that's it. There's no one whom I could readily message/call and "depend" on. Many mixed emotions went through my mind. Anger, frustration, agony, sadness, motivation, hope. It's a matter of getting used to the cycle of trying and being defeated and get up and try again and again and again and again and again.

With a focus to try and succeed... you will definitely improve. It's a matter of how much you improve. How much you improve depends on how badly you want it and how much you look forward to the FUTURE YOU.

My thoughts above are through my countless hundreds of hours of thinking, trying to get myself out of this situation.

I'm sure you probably already know a big deal of what I've written. I know the constant "ya I know, but do you think it's so easy living a life like mine and trying to improve". I've given in dozens of times to this phrase in my head. It fears us so much to step out of our comfort zone. But eventually when you do it bit by bit... you will utterly believe in the above statements and believe in the general things motivational speakers preach. It's our real cold fears that make we not want to believe in it.

The psychologist can only help to alter our thoughts. They can't work the change for us.

I've come to see that the mind is amazingly and frighteningly powerful. If you think it can be done, it can. On the other hand, if you keep thinking it can't be done, it can't.

Most importantly, ask yourself one question. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life like this? OR do you want to make baby steps changes to the better you capable of a meaningful and magnificent life?

It's step by step. There's no magic wand to wave us upwards.

I don't claim to be some smarty pants or some SAD survivor hero. I myself struggle on a daily basis. I would just like to share what I have learnt in the past years.

Take care, fellow soldier in battle.



want to be awesome said:


> hi guys
> 
> I just stumble on this site.
> i am a 22 years old studying in a private uni.
> i have no friends at all.
> i have 2 best buddies but one of them is studying overseas,
> the other guy "sign-on" and stay in camp all the time.
> i know 3 people in class but during the holidays, we stop contacting each other.
> besides, we will take different module next semester, so i'm back to square one.
> 
> i don't go anywhere during the weekend.
> i don't know where a 22 years old go during weekend.
> i hate shopping.
> i play pc games all the time (i have 30++ games in my steam account).
> 
> i'm not very good with conversation.
> most of the time, i talk about pc games and our assignment.
> otherwise, i stop talking.
> 
> i avoid social situation such as buying movie ticket, dining in a restaurant, buying new clothes, etc.
> i feel pressurize whenever i interact with the staff.
> i don't go clubbing so i don't have to order a drink.
> 
> i have OCD.
> i used to arranging stuff for hours.
> i never delete files on my desktop.
> i never seek treatment since i have "ord" (no more free lunch!).
> 
> maybe we can have a get-together soon.


----------



## 18yoboywithSA

Been awhile since I last made a post. Been looking through the forum thread regularly though. Tbh, I actually have reservations about just opening up about my life and my battle with social anxiety because my parents, particularly my mum, discourages me from visiting and posting on any forum regularly. Parents being parents... I know she's probably right, but HECK she's damn paranoid about fellow social anxiety sufferers judging myself? WTF right? Even if this is a public platform, as long as you don't put your real name, the chances of somebody in real life finding out who you are is pretty slim...

Anyways, been visiting my psychologist pretty regularly, about 3-5 times a week for the past 2-3 weeks. He is currently overseas and hence his assistant has been the one assessing me. Here's the catch, he charges me for visits, however his assistant's services are free-of-charge as she is still currently pursuing her psychology major. Nonetheless, under the care of Ms X (let's call her that), I feel that indeed I am improving in terms of my social anxiety as well as social awareness. Just last saturday, I felt completely comfortable and like myself at Bugis Junction, even though I would squirm at the thought of being at a crowded public place awhile back. Also, I have also seen a psychiatrist and he will write a report based on my diagnosis and see how CMPB will handle my case. Please do note however that I am not purposely trying to chao keng, in fact I indeed do have reservations about the possibility of skipping BMT altogether and posted straight to unit (which probably means a deferment again) because I actually look forward to the camaraderie and also the big route march. Even if my time in BMT was not that good, I trust that God will be able to help me find a friend whom I can trust in my BMT life. Haha, if so fated, maybe I can get to meet MrBean hahaha! But the problem is, my psychologist says that he understands my concerns but he is worried that I cannot take the stresses of army life to the point my condition may be exercabated. And sadly, my psychiatrist also mentioned that I may need to undergo medication, which makes me feel very sian..

However, I would just like to say that despite my so-called 'setbacks' I suffered due to a result of this condition, I think I am getting more positive and upbeat with each passing day, probably due to the fact that I have to constantly expose myself to a crowded public amenity like the MRT just to get to my psychologist's clinic. Hence, just want to encourage anyone who also have SAD or GAD to just go out more and see the world. It might seem scary at first, but it can be done. Mind over matter xD

Lastly, I also want to thank some of the faces here who I have had no chance to meet up yet. Thank you for all your encouragement and advice. 

P.s. I'm also rather nervous about enlisting to the army in less than 2 weeks' time.


----------



## pssychedelic

There's nothing to worry about opening up. People judge all the time, whether you're right or you're wrong. Every person comes from a different background environment and innate characteristics leads to a unique set of perception and mindset.

I'm so envious of you. I never had the same frequency of sessions. Mine was at best once every fortnight at govt hospitals. Your mom seems to be genuinely caring and your psychologists seem to say some encouraging words. Of which.. I don't think I received them in the past.

I dragged myself through NS with these disorders. Not easy at all. Without a strong pillar of support (thankfully I had), God knows where I would have been in NS.

Somehow, you will find that someone in NS who will click with you. As long as you don't close yourself up too tight.

I'm sure you will enjoy the route march and what's in BMT.



18yoboywithSA said:


> Been awhile since I last made a post. Been looking through the forum thread regularly though. Tbh, I actually have reservations about just opening up about my life and my battle with social anxiety because my parents, particularly my mum, discourages me from visiting and posting on any forum regularly. Parents being parents... I know she's probably right, but HECK she's damn paranoid about fellow social anxiety sufferers judging myself? WTF right? Even if this is a public platform, as long as you don't put your real name, the chances of somebody in real life finding out who you are is pretty slim...
> 
> Anyways, been visiting my psychologist pretty regularly, about 3-5 times a week for the past 2-3 weeks. He is currently overseas and hence his assistant has been the one assessing me. Here's the catch, he charges me for visits, however his assistant's services are free-of-charge as she is still currently pursuing her psychology major. Nonetheless, under the care of Ms X (let's call her that), I feel that indeed I am improving in terms of my social anxiety as well as social awareness. Just last saturday, I felt completely comfortable and like myself at Bugis Junction, even though I would squirm at the thought of being at a crowded public place awhile back. Also, I have also seen a psychiatrist and he will write a report based on my diagnosis and see how CMPB will handle my case. Please do note however that I am not purposely trying to chao keng, in fact I indeed do have reservations about the possibility of skipping BMT altogether and posted straight to unit (which probably means a deferment again) because I actually look forward to the camaraderie and also the big route march. Even if my time in BMT was not that good, I trust that God will be able to help me find a friend whom I can trust in my BMT life. Haha, if so fated, maybe I can get to meet MrBean hahaha! But the problem is, my psychologist says that he understands my concerns but he is worried that I cannot take the stresses of army life to the point my condition may be exercabated. And sadly, my psychiatrist also mentioned that I may need to undergo medication, which makes me feel very sian..
> 
> However, I would just like to say that despite my so-called 'setbacks' I suffered due to a result of this condition, I think I am getting more positive and upbeat with each passing day, probably due to the fact that I have to constantly expose myself to a crowded public amenity like the MRT just to get to my psychologist's clinic. Hence, just want to encourage anyone who also have SAD or GAD to just go out more and see the world. It might seem scary at first, but it can be done. Mind over matter xD
> 
> Lastly, I also want to thank some of the faces here who I have had no chance to meet up yet. Thank you for all your encouragement and advice.
> 
> P.s. I'm also rather nervous about enlisting to the army in less than 2 weeks' time.


----------



## toughcase

pssychedelic > Your posts are always motivating, this is a really slow journey but we must not slack off. It's so easy to revert back to our previous habits, but to really improve, there must be persistence.


----------



## pssychedelic

Slow and painful. 

I wonder... will there be a day we can network efficiently, have a reasonable income and adequate social circle? And be like other normal successful people?

Or are we fated to be very average folks? 

I suppose those whom are older (after NS-age perhaps).. will feel and see the very real consequences of SAD. You start to compare yourselves to your other friends whom have relationships, social life, career, education. 

And some of us will drop out of tertiary education, jobless, relationshipless, friendless and life would seem so meaningless.


----------



## cheimison

I kind of want to move to Singapore.


----------



## toughcase

pssychedelic said:


> Slow and painful.
> 
> I wonder... will there be a day we can network efficiently, have a reasonable income and adequate social circle? And be like other normal successful people?
> 
> Or are we fated to be very average folks?
> 
> I suppose those whom are older (after NS-age perhaps).. will feel and see the very real consequences of SAD. You start to compare yourselves to your other friends whom have relationships, social life, career, education.
> 
> And some of us will drop out of tertiary education, jobless, relationshipless, friendless and life would seem so meaningless.


You're right, it affects so many areas of our lives...But we are not cowering in a corner like before, we're dealing with it one step at a time.

I went for my first therapy session with a psychologist today and she said that I have an underlying OCD that caused my SA. I always ruminate about negative past events to the point that I feel anxious about everything. I'm always worrying about something, never is my mind at peace. So now my task is to disassociate myself from OCD thoughts. This link is pretty useful:

http://www.outofstress.com/stop-obsessive-thoughts/

I think right now, all we can do is to constantly remind ourselves that we're going in the right direction. It is going to be so much tougher for us, but I realized that we became more introspective and developed higher EQ through our struggles, so that are some "benefits of SA". Also, many SA/depression sufferers ended up with spouses and children.

These are probably your dark moments, but they will pass. I'm sure that through time, you'll be able to find people who will connect with you, especially when you're getting better and better at dealing with SA.


----------



## pssychedelic

Little by little....

Underlying OCD that caused your SA? You just keep thinking of negative history past every now and then.. that it makes you feel anxious about everything?

The link you gave is pretty true. To get rid of OCD, it's simply to not give it attention. The thoughts will pop up without our call for them but as time goes by without interest given to it... they disappear eventually. I cured OCD myself without medication and hardly with any professional help through this method.

Looking back at the lowest mental state for me, I was having murderous thoughts of anyone. And they felt pretty real. If I were to allow myself to simply "indulge" in the thoughts and not think straight for a few minutes, I might just have done something foolish. After my mind was in its "indulging mode", it feels like my body would go auto-mode and do the foolish acts. Which is why I was always very afraid of drifting and "indulging". I kind of cured this too myself as I grew more positive and stronger mentally.

I couldn't cure myself for depersonalization. This is something that hits me randomly. And no matter how I tell myself to relax and be calm, it wouldn't go away.

*Do you get this often*: I get cautious whenever I have to pay something. Thoughts run through my head and sometimes, I end up not processing properly what the person behind the counter was saying. And so, I appear slow and blur.

Yup, SAD and struggles sure help to increase our EQ. High EQ is so important for a healthy relationship of any sort. One thing I know for sure... I won't bring my partner into my SAD struggles, like I did the first time. It's unfair to my partner.



toughcase said:


> You're right, it affects so many areas of our lives...But we are not cowering in a corner like before, we're dealing with it one step at a time.
> 
> I went for my first therapy session with a psychologist today and she said that I have an underlying OCD that caused my SA. I always ruminate about negative past events to the point that I feel anxious about everything. I'm always worrying about something, never is my mind at peace. So now my task is to disassociate myself from OCD thoughts. This link is pretty useful:
> 
> http://www.outofstress.com/stop-obsessive-thoughts/
> 
> I think right now, all we can do is to constantly remind ourselves that we're going in the right direction. It is going to be so much tougher for us, but I realized that we became more introspective and developed higher EQ through our struggles, so that are some "benefits of SA". Also, many SA/depression sufferers ended up with spouses and children.
> 
> These are probably your dark moments, but they will pass. I'm sure that through time, you'll be able to find people who will connect with you, especially when you're getting better and better at dealing with SA.


----------



## toughcase

pssychedelic said:


> Little by little....
> 
> Underlying OCD that caused your SA? You just keep thinking of negative history past every now and then.. that it makes you feel anxious about everything?
> 
> The link you gave is pretty true. To get rid of OCD, it's simply to not give it attention. The thoughts will pop up without our call for them but as time goes by without interest given to it... they disappear eventually. I cured OCD myself without medication and hardly with any professional help through this method.
> 
> Looking back at the lowest mental state for me, I was having murderous thoughts of anyone. And they felt pretty real. If I were to allow myself to simply "indulge" in the thoughts and not think straight for a few minutes, I might just have done something foolish. After my mind was in its "indulging mode", it feels like my body would go auto-mode and do the foolish acts. Which is why I was always very afraid of drifting and "indulging". I kind of cured this too myself as I grew more positive and stronger mentally.
> 
> I couldn't cure myself for depersonalization. This is something that hits me randomly. And no matter how I tell myself to relax and be calm, it wouldn't go away.
> 
> *Do you get this often*: I get cautious whenever I have to pay something. Thoughts run through my head and sometimes, I end up not processing properly what the person behind the counter was saying. And so, I appear slow and blur.
> 
> Yup, SAD and struggles sure help to increase our EQ. High EQ is so important for a healthy relationship of any sort. One thing I know for sure... I won't bring my partner into my SAD struggles, like I did the first time. It's unfair to my partner.


All the time.

In fact, my pants is wet right now from when I spilled tea onto it due to nervousness/clumsiness. Since high school, I have always been labeled as the "blur girl" or "Act-blur girl". I used to beat myself up about it. I felt so embarrassed and self-conscious when I tripped or say something dumb due to SA.

You're right about the ocd part, I never read up much on why I ruminate so much until I realised that these thoughts are keeping me unhappy and ruining my relationships.


----------



## pssychedelic

I wonder if I'm mentally slow by nature or that this SAD takes up so much processing power that I "think slower"?

Glad to know that I'm not alone. Not that I wish for you to have this though!


----------



## viperebel

want to be awesome said:


> hi guys
> 
> I just stumble on this site.
> i am a 22 years old studying in a private uni.
> i have no friends at all.
> i have 2 best buddies but one of them is studying overseas,
> the other guy "sign-on" and stay in camp all the time.
> i know 3 people in class but during the holidays, we stop contacting each other.
> besides, we will take different module next semester, so i'm back to square one.
> 
> i don't go anywhere during the weekend.
> i don't know where a 22 years old go during weekend.
> i hate shopping.
> i play pc games all the time (i have 30++ games in my steam account).
> 
> i'm not very good with conversation.
> most of the time, i talk about pc games and our assignment.
> otherwise, i stop talking.
> 
> i avoid social situation such as buying movie ticket, dining in a restaurant, buying new clothes, etc.
> i feel pressurize whenever i interact with the staff.
> i don't go clubbing so i don't have to order a drink.
> 
> i have OCD.
> i used to arranging stuff for hours.
> i never delete files on my desktop.
> i never seek treatment since i have "ord" (no more free lunch!).
> 
> maybe we can have a get-together soon.


Hey bro, do add me on Steam. Viperebel is my nickname =) Don;t worry too much ya. We are all here to support each other in some way or another.


----------



## yaocatez

Is this group dead?


----------



## pssychedelic

yaocatez said:


> Is this group dead?


Yes, it is. =P

Almost all my posts on this forum get ignored hahaha. It's either they think I type rubbish or I simply run outta luck.

Honestly, don't expect to receive much support from this forum.

I did make one nice friendship here though although it didn't last that long hahaha. The person should know who he/she is 

I don't blame you anyway  I understand there can be lots of thoughts. I was once through that phase.

happy sunday everybody....


----------



## reliefseeker

pssychedelic said:


> Almost all my posts on this forum get ignored hahaha. It's either they think I type rubbish or I simply run outta luck.


Nah... your posts are generally well written and very motivating though, how i wish there is a "+ rep" button for me to click on your post. The way you give those encouraging advice to the people here, reminds me of a senior member who was very active and helpful to the group back then.


----------



## reliefseeker

reversethecurse said:


> Guys is there a new chat site?As the old one seems to be a dead site.idk it just feels lik people come and go here makes me wonder what happened to those that posted before did they get better and no longer feel the need to identify with this affliction.is there a newer better SA site?i think it's just probably that people are just busy with their work/school.


There is a group chat site in skssg.com, but since not many people are participating and the admin didn't bother, it becomes dead. 
But there is also the facebook secret group for people with SA, 
you can join it if you're an active FB user.
And speaking of fb, i quit it off as a way to hopefully reduce my dependency and addiction on social media.


----------



## pssychedelic

tensedboy said:


> Nah... your posts are generally well written and very motivating though, how i wish there is a "+ rep" button for me to click on your post. The way you give those encouraging advice to the people here, reminds me of a senior member who was very active and helpful to the group back then.


Thank you tensedboy!

Although I have marked improvement, I don't know if I will ever be able to break free from this disorder.

Even now a simple thing like ordering food, the thoughts of how to speak and how to reply flash through my mind when I'm in the queue.

Perhaps I'm a perfectionist. Even simple things like ordering food, I would like to execute it perfectly. Confidence and using words with some finesse.

And perfectionism is a front for insecurities, for feeling not good enough.

Isn't it tragic how self-esteem can ruin one's life?

There's a quote from Perks Of A Wallflower: We accept the love we think we deserve.

Don't we always choose people who are in the same look-category as us to be our lovers?

We feel inadequate when we choose someone who looks better than us; and I don't think that person who looks better would be interested in the first place anyway.

It's a tragic natural occurrence since good looks were never fought for. It was given, not worked hard for.

And good looks can go such a long way to help you in having a good life. Without putting as much effort.


----------



## toughcase

Why did that senior member leave? I really liked his posts as well.


----------



## reliefseeker

yaocatez said:


> Is this group dead?


As dead as it seems, this sg thread still managed to gain the highest amount of viewers and replies among all other support groups here. Good or bad? you decide, lol


----------



## toughcase

tensedboy said:


> As dead as it seems, this sg thread still managed to gain the highest amount of viewers and replies among all other support groups here. Good or bad? you decide, lol


Nope, not dead. Still fighting and making the best of everyday.


----------



## samuel89

i need someone to talk too , feel depressed .


----------



## reliefseeker

samuel89 said:


> i need someone to talk too , feel depressed .


What's up?


----------



## blim

*2 months on paroxetine*

hi guys/gals, i stumbled upon this forum by random googling, and i register just to post a comment on this.

a bit about me, i'm turning 30 this year, and i had SAD for probably since high school. the fact is i didn't know about the term SAD until a couple of months ago, i have always thought that i have a depression.
currently i'm seeing a psychiatrist and on a medication (paroxetine), it's my 3rd month on medication and has been told that at least i should stay on it for a year. btw the meds are use to treat depression as well.

just my personal opinion, this medication has been a wonder drug for me, and i'm so at ease when around people. conversation goes on more smoothly and feel like i could be friend with anyone, i will post more about the progress as the time goes by.

just like most of you, before on meds, i feel very down and don't have any idea what i should do on my spare time, whenever weekend is coming i feel so stressed up and felt like i'm the most miserable loneliest person in the world. and when sunday is ending i feel so tense about meeting people at work on Monday. sometimes i couldn't sleep at all. there is also a suicidal tendencies or fascination toward it, but never attempt one.

if any of you would like to meet up please don't hesitate to PM me, i'm working at raffles place, and would be more than happy to share or discuss this condition with like minded people. 
mental problem is really sucks and no one would understand you unless they have one.

i'm not 100% cure now, but i feel like i can beat it, it's just a matter of time.


----------



## blim

pssychedelic said:


> Slow and painful.
> 
> I wonder... will there be a day we can network efficiently, have a reasonable income and adequate social circle? And be like other normal successful people?
> 
> Or are we fated to be very average folks?
> 
> I suppose those whom are older (after NS-age perhaps).. will feel and see the very real consequences of SAD. You start to compare yourselves to your other friends whom have relationships, social life, career, education.
> 
> And some of us will drop out of tertiary education, jobless, relationshipless, friendless and life would seem so meaningless.


i probably categorized myself to be an average folks. 
i always thought that everybody else have move forward in this world except me.

problem with this world in my opinion is that it's a very materialistic one, and your happiness is being determined by how financially success you are.
This has always been in my head and the only fact that i haven't got a billion in my bank account has only worsened my anxiety/depression/self esteem or whatever the hell there is.

for now at least i managed to hold a job, although i almost lost one.
with so much positivity in my head right now, i feel that there will be the day where i could strike it big.

pardon me of i'm mumbling thru a random idea


----------



## Hopeful91

Hi all,
I'm just an ordinary young female adult. I've been depressed for a long time. I do have a few close friend but they are busy at times. I do really hope to have someone to talk to. Please add me to your secret group. Thanks!


----------



## starisme

Im in the same boat.
Anyone here?


----------



## starisme

tensedboy said:


> I once went through that phase not too long ago, and sometimes by allowing myself to act out of malicious intentions(for the purpose of retaliation against people mistreating me), it did paid off to a certain extent, to be honest.
> 
> Not that I murdered or rape anyone though,
> but you know the feeling when you finally get on top of someone who's been using you as an ego-booster, verbally mocking you in the back all along,
> only three words can describe it: "*payback's a b***h*".
> 
> it almost released me from all the indignation and helplessness that I've being put through for months.
> 
> but this feeling of release is very temporary, cause i'm aware that the same situation will arise anytime and the hatred cycle will continue till i start to do something that i might regret for life.
> 
> So ever since becoming a born-again christian(sorry if it sounds preachy),
> whenever i came across such situations, i have learnt not to take matters into my own hands like before, and i'm also more inclined to free myself from strong negative emotions, by trusting god to take care of the situation.
> 
> And don't get me wrong though,
> I never expect myself to become better instantly or be completely cured of SA, out of having this newfound faith in christ.
> 
> Also, I didn't become a christian just for the purpose of repenting and being holy righteous in exchange for good relationships or good life.
> 
> but through praying and knowing the presence of god by my side, i'm starting to feel at least a bit of HOPE out there
> instead of the usual, "well, its all just a myth. Reality is harsh and cruel, so what else can you do other than suck it up and move on yourself....."


Do I really have to get into religion to get cure?
No offense but im 1 of those that do not and have no intention of having any religion.


----------



## reliefseeker

starisme said:


> Do I really have to get into religion to get cure?
> No offense but im 1 of those that do not and have no intention of having any religion.


As for your question, not really, it depends.

Different methods work for different people, i'm not trying to ignore the fact that there are sufferers who actually recover on their own without having any spiritual faith whatsoever. 

But for my case, I've pretty much exhausted my options of recovery, and eventually resorted to spiritual faith in order to straighten up my life path.


----------



## czolbe

Hello everyone, I'm also from Singapore and 25 this year. Graduated recently and will be starting work soon.

I face many of the same problems as most of you. And although I find that I have gotten better, recently I'm becoming more withdrawn as there are fewer friends to hang out with, seeing as many of them are busy with work or are drifting away. 

So.. I hope to meet new people here, hopefully we can help each other out with our SA while having fun together. Don't hesitate to drop me a PM and if there are any meet ups I shall be keen to join up.


----------



## blim

hey tensedboy, czolbe, let's meet up next week? location will be discussed thru PM.
weekday, after 7?

i'm posting it here to see if anyone keen to join.


----------



## reliefseeker

blim said:


> hey tensedboy, czolbe, let's meet up next week? location will be discussed thru PM.
> weekday, after 7?
> 
> i'm posting it here to see if anyone keen to join.


Yes, I'm ok with after 7, no plans for nx week i guess.

Hope to see other members joining as well.


----------



## reliefseeker

starisme said:


> -


Hey, how r u doing in school at the moment?
been awhile since i've heard from you. hope ur doing ok  same goes to 18yoboywithSA, hopeful91, toughcase.


----------



## Henias

Hello everybody, I know probably gonna get ignored by you guys but I still hope you can give me the chance to be online friends w you guys and probably meet up seeing how this progress. I have been looking for people with the same problems but not with any luck. 

I'm 17 this year studying in a JC, I have been having SAD since I was 14 . I am always the quiet guy and plus I am socially awkward this makes me an easy target for bullies. I'm even laughed at whenever my face freezes when I'm awkwardly nervous. It just makes me more n more afraid putting myself in the spotlight and I became extremely self conscious, very un confident and afraid to make eye to eye contact with people. I'm just feel so tired fighting against my anxiety. I just hope to make some genuine friends. I'm also really afraid I'm forever alone and single, and when I die, nobody will give a damp about me. This is just how lonely I am ): Haha ):


----------



## chewren

Hey guys, i may not be so active at this forum
, i would recommend you guys to join this group , 
http://www.meetup.com/Social-anxiety-and-depression-support-group/
Just register and join this group, there will be regular outings
like movies, sharing session.


----------



## dot

*hey*

i would be sooo glad to have someone in/around my area who knows how i feel or experiences similar feelings/problems. :um

would be good to have someone to exchange a few lines with, the night before having to go to work (though i'm finally quitting :|) or when for some reason i have to leave the house etc, when i'm panicking or fraught with anxiety.

someone to keep in touch with when i'm on public transport - i get very nervous/panicky on the train sometimes.. for a while, i refused to/could not take the train.

for starters, i'm female, and in my early 30s. i have had depression for ages and i have been seeing a doctor for this and various other issues. i can't even tell what my problem is now after so many years - ie. whether one issue has become another issue, or whether something is part of the same problem or has simply gotten worse, etc.

please feel free to contact me or drop me a message or um, anything of the like... as long as i do check back or am somehow notified, i'll get back. i may not be here a lot either, it's sporadic... so...


----------



## mojh

Hi all i just discovered that i may have SAD. So glad to know that there are other singaporeans going through the same thing. It helps that i dont feel alone  a little bit more on myself, i am a female and 19 this year and am waiting to enter the uni.i have been trying to get out of my comfort zone and go for camps but everytime i do so a little bit of my self esteen dies.
Anyway i am up for making friends with all of you  do pm me!!


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## markwalters2

Don't they have very poor air quality there?


----------



## dot

pssychedelic said:


> Slow and painful.
> 
> I wonder... will there be a day we can network efficiently, have a reasonable income and adequate social circle? And be like other normal successful people?
> 
> Or are we fated to be very average folks?
> 
> I suppose those whom are older (after NS-age perhaps).. will feel and see the very real consequences of SAD. You start to compare yourselves to your other friends whom have relationships, social life, career, education.
> 
> And some of us will drop out of tertiary education, jobless, relationshipless, friendless and life would seem so meaningless.


oh! ok i know this is late, but geez, yes, i dropped out of uni.. -_- and yes i dropped out of my last job. heh.. and am quitting another...

erm.. sometimes i just want to drop out of life altogether honestly.

yeah no relationships, no social life, no career. heh. ok, no, i'm lucky i do i have some people in my life who somewhat care and sometimes are able to be around for me. : )

but you know ultimately, it's a pretty lonely struggle...?

ive pretty much given up on trying to be 'successful'... i really dont want to see/meet/ hear from friends from the past - cuz i dont want to be reminded of what could have been or how .. badly i suck?

it's also painful when my mom gets on my case on.. how she wanted me to be successful or to.. try harder/ get a good job/ you're not getting any younger etc. - like she still thinks i've a chance of being a successful person when ive already written those things off.

i dont seek to be super successful or rich or wow and all that .... honestly i just want to be somewhat functional, - to be um, NORMAL...ish. and to not be more of a burden (than a contributing member?) to my family/parents, i suppose...

because if it would be better for me to be NOT around than around, then.. you know... yeah, i dont even want to go there right now.

to be my age and still be as helpless as a child... that is just so wrong. : (


----------



## dot

markwalters2 said:


> Don't they have very poor air quality there?


who? where?



reversethecurse said:


> Anyone else don't got much to do during weekends?


i actually need the weekends to be days that i dont have to do anything at all.

it gets kinda weird to explain to (other/normal) people who seem to expect that you should be doing something exciting/eventful/'fun' during the weekends... but when else do i get to stay at home if i have to be out at work mondays to fridays?

being out of my home is tiring and stressful for me, i need the weekend to recuperate and recover, to start the cycle again...

weekends are my downtime/ my alone time.

in fact, i try as hard as i can not to have anything planned on weekends otherwise i feel resentful/stressed out that my rest days have been taken from me.

if i have to get something done or meet someone, i'd rather get it done if i'm already out, like after work or something. to get me out of the house on a weekend would be... well, very, very hard.

sometimes i'm completely cut-off - i sometimes/often times stop checking my phone too. i dont want to see anything that might make me feel stressed. i'm in my own world from fri night till sunday night again. which is often when i start feeling anxious about monday coming...

sometimes i just want to forget that i'm alive/in the real world for a while... like i dont want anyone to reach me.

errr.. i realise that might all sound somewhat strange. ughhh. : (


----------



## 18yoboywithSA

*been awhile*

Hi guys, been awhile since I last posted here.. Actually I do lurk at this particular forum thread from time to time.. 

Anyways, one thing I've learnt through this social anxiety battle is that life still goes on... No matter what, I must still go through NS. It's already been a few months since I deferred my original enlistment date on May 8, and I should feel blessed that I am going to enlist on August 20 instead at Kranji Camp 3. Probably will end up as a clerk or service security trooper.

There is an upside though. My current pes E is temporary which means that 6 months after I enlist, I will have to go through a pes review in which I may have the opportunity to up my pes to pes C at least n be able to go through BMT recourse, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. And I'm not talking about my free-and-easy 4-week BMT here. For I want to be able to go through real 'hell' in the actual BMT.

Anw, hope all you peeps are doing fine in life


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## reliefseeker

18yoboywithSA said:


> Hi guys, been awhile since I last posted here.. Actually I do lurk at this particular forum thread from time to time..
> 
> Anyways, one thing I've learnt through this social anxiety battle is that life still goes on... No matter what, I must still go through NS. It's already been a few months since I deferred my original enlistment date on May 8, and I should feel blessed that I am going to enlist on August 20 instead at Kranji Camp 3. Probably will end up as a clerk or service security trooper.
> 
> There is an upside though. My current pes E is temporary which means that 6 months after I enlist, I will have to go through a pes review in which I may have the opportunity to up my pes to pes C at least n be able to go through BMT recourse, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. And I'm not talking about my free-and-easy 4-week BMT here. For I want to be able to go through real 'hell' in the actual BMT.
> 
> Anw, hope all you peeps are doing fine in life


Hey, welcome back..

All the best for ur NS, i'm also going in soon, probably like Nov or something, cause they had to decide my PES status after the CMPB medical review on Sept 10th.

Anyway which hospital/clinic r u seeing ur psychiatrist at?


----------



## WholeNewWorld

Hello Singapore,

I am new to this thread. Only came to know what is social anxiety now after 30years of life, while I was searching abt another condition, then stumbled onto a condition called Selective Mutism.

I always know I have very high trait anxiety (learnt that term during a sports psychology class), but didn't know there's special medical attention to this. I get nervous for very simple things, like seeing neighbors at the lift lobby. When I was still in primary school, bcoz of my nervousness and partly becoz of my character I tend to say something that the listening party finds offensive. As a guy we played a lot of sports then, but again because of nervousness I always end up letting my team down because I always let them down in the crucial moment. It was natural that I gradually got isolated and once had a big fight becos I felt so left out. I kept to myself from then on, and remained so with few friends throughout my life.

When you have few friends they matter a lot to you, and that left quite a scar during my poly days up till few years ago. I have been taught not to trust ppl, by a close friend who had a complicated character that was years older than me. I see him as a big brother in poly and bcos of this that's what cut deep inside. Although I have been a Christian, during cell groups I get nervous and normally only have conversations with a few ppl. Somehow in churches when you are out of sight you will be out of ppl's minds too. And gradually I drifted away from the church I was attending. 4 few years ago when my mum had 2 consecutive strokes I didn't let most of them know. Very few asked too since we had not kept in touch.


----------



## WholeNewWorld

I am in the same shoes as you, 30 this year, bullied as a newbie at work 4 years ago becos I tend not communicate much. It happened exactly then my mum was struck by the first stroke. Everything fell apart and I resigned only 2 months into that job. I had quite a pay hike, but heck, couldn't even spend more time my mum what's the point? That was the beginning of a downhill slide. Had been job hopping one year after that, then decided to take go into full time study at UniSIM although it's a part time programme becos I was genuinely interested with the field but was very dissapointed with the teaching. I didn't listen to my brother to find a full time job to this day becos I wanted to have an outcome with my studies which I am still continuing on, although I started part time work this year becos my bank account is running dry. I hardly speak to my colleagues, partly becos I only have 4 hours a day at work and I get too pressurized and stressed to complete the tasks given, and mostly cos I am not part of their work team. A lot of them are younger than me, and are earning a comfortable paycheck.



blim said:


> i probably categorized myself to be an average folks.
> i always thought that everybody else have move forward in this world except me.
> 
> problem with this world in my opinion is that it's a very materialistic one, and your happiness is being determined by how financially success you are.
> This has always been in my head and the only fact that i haven't got a billion in my bank account has only worsened my anxiety/depression/self esteem or whatever the hell there is.
> 
> for now at least i managed to hold a job, although i almost lost one.
> with so much positivity in my head right now, i feel that there will be the day where i could strike it big.
> 
> pardon me of i'm mumbling thru a random idea


----------



## ufotofu

Hi everyone,

I'm not exactly new to this SAS forum, I signed up a while ago but I never really used it.. 
I've had SA my whole life, but lately, my anxiety has lessened a lot, although maybe it's because I stay at home a lot, don't go out much or expose myself to many social situations. I tend to avoid things. Never had many friends and right now I have none.. people usually treat me as though I don't exist because I'm so quiet. 

It would be nice if we could arrange meetups and not suffer alone with this condition.


----------



## koonky

Woah I am surprise to see singapore here. I am here to visit... it seems like a happy place here.


----------



## 18yoboywithSA

> Hey, welcome back..
> 
> All the best for ur NS, i'm also going in soon, probably like Nov or something, cause they had to decide my PES status after the CMPB medical review on Sept 10th.
> 
> Anyway which hospital/clinic r u seeing ur psychiatrist at?


Currently gng to geylang polyclinic. Tmr I have a session with the psychiatrist.


----------



## TCSingapore

Hi all,
Glad to see fellow Singaporeans here. This is my first post on this website. Basically I have friends who also have social anxiety in Singapore. There are actually a number of support groups in Singapore, not sure whether any of you have considered this. I find the biggest group in meetup.com. Here are some links you can go to and join them if you want:

http://www.meetup.com/Social-anxiety-and-depression-support-group/

http://www.meetup.com/Singapore-Support-Group-for-Anxiety-and-Panic-Attacks/

I have also read up a bit on social anxiety etc because I used to be really shy but have improved significantly over these few years using energy psychology techniques like emotional freedom therapy (EFT) and EMDR etc. Some interesting websites I have come across recently:

http://singaporenaturalremedies.com/?p=306

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19913760


----------



## 18yoboywithSA

*What should I do man*

Sometimes I wonder why life makes a mockery out of us. Lately I've been feeling so depressed and scared and anxious at the same time. I was looking forward to my enlistment date on 20/8 just weeks before, yet as the date draws nearer, I realize I dread it...

Why do I dread NS? Well, I don't dread the fact that NS is tough or whatnot.. After all I'm already temp downgraded to PES E. Yet, when I come across stories told by people like psychedelic (dunno hw to spell lolx) and mrbean### (feel in number here) who go through PES A or B1 or even B2 BMT, i feel so ashamed of myself.... These people are much more BRAVER and CAPABLE than I am. The fact that these past few weeks I've been behaving like a hikkomori (aka social recluse) staying at home all these while shows that I have a lack of willpower, determination and I'm just a coward...

Damn NS, damn the conscription, damn it for making it life difficult for anxiety sufferers and all those suffering, be it physically, mentally or psychologically. That's what I've been thinking through in my mind during the long National Day weekend. Yet, when I watched the NDP, I felt touched by the marching and all those disciplined soldiers putting up a marvellous and ferocious display for all our citizens. Even the military band has a very important role in the NDP, for without its music and even their smart uniform designs, NDP would probably be quite dull and the audience probably can't feel the rhythm and excitement in the air. Okay, pardon me for typing some bullsh*t as I am a person who always can't find the right words to say or the right way to say things.

Why does life make a mockery of me? Recently went back to facebook and I saw all the photos of my friends and even past enemies having fun and doing something great in their lives. The guys, most of them, being from JC background, have even POP from their BMT already and they all look quite fit. There is even a "loser" (but whom is my friend as we both helped each other up during our ups and downs during sec sch life, at one point in our lives for 2 years we were even best friends and I think he still kinda regards me as a best friend right now even though we haven't met up in like 5 months) has been posted to SCS and I'm proud of him. This is despite that fact that he suffers from autism since young. And sadly I'm reminded by the fact that for a minimum of 6 months after my enlistment I will never have the chance to do a combat vocation for I am straight posted to HRI to be trained as an ASA (admin support assistant). Even if manage to up my PES in say February nxt year, there is a very low chance I can even end up as a corporal rank and above and also low chance to be in a xiong vocation like infantry (as MINDEF probably worried that my social anxiety will impact my work).

Then also... The truth about myself is that I have ever once tried to attempt suicide in my sec sch days. And it's not a quiet suicide attempt by myself as we speak. It was an attempt where things got very awry and dramatic as many people, including teachers, juniors and seniors witnessed what I was doing. It was supposed to be a quiet affair but I just chose to do it at the wrong place and the wrong time (at a bridge located on the 3rd floor in between two buildings) and of which many students will pass by underneath the bridge and I attempted it right after morning assembly. Well, I really regretted doing so, for I witnessed a change of heart in many people whom I once saw faith inside. After that incident, some 'friends' whom I had made along the way started to gossip about me, be it on the Internet or IRL, and some even sort of openly did things towards me to purposely spite me (be it ignoring me or avoiding me when they saw me). As I saw them grinning and laughing, some even pointing fingers and gesturing at me, I felt a heavy sense of rejection and became even more reclusive. Of course, these people were students and not teachers for the latter tended to act more professionally when it comes to matters of the heart of their students. Of course, after that incident, I could also see which friends of mine (though few remained) genuinely cared for me and wanted the best for me and just wanted me to wake up from my mess. There was this tall classmate of mine, let's call him YL, whom I was starting to deeply hate because he liked to make fun of me and avoid me even though we were friends weeks before my suicide attempt. Yet, he was the one who rushed to save me and pull me away from the ledge with all his might without hesitation when he saw me on the verge of ending my life. I was wrong about him, I realized. He did care for me all this while. It was just that I was too emotional and depressed that I had a 'world against myself' attitude.

Anyways right now, I also keep telling myself there's no point looking back at my sad past for life has no 'reset' button so to speak and I can only continue from here... Yet, I feel life is so unfair because it seems that for almost 10 years, everywhere I went to and tried to befriend others, I was faced with rejection time after time again. I know I'm a deeply emotional person, I'm kind of blur, and I talk and act stupid a lot of times, but why is it that society has been cruel to me thus far... Why does it seems that everyone becomes happy so long as I'm suffering and making a mess out of my life. Why does no one cares that I have become someone who finds it hard to even function normally now?

Hmm...Maybe I should just end it off here (not my life, of course! I've gotten over trying to even suicide. It's just so stupid!). I hate to depress others with my emo self and I don't want to expose my ugly self any further by telling my cock-and-bull stories in which the average person wouldn't want to be bothered


----------



## NyanCat

Hi, glad to see a Singapore support group. I'm in my 30s and just realized I have SAD this year after googling all the weird symptoms and behaviour I had throughout my whole life. I have no friends due to my quiet nature, so it will be nice if there's someone here who I can connect and make friends with.

I'm curious to know if anyone who had seek treatment at IMH and is employed in stat board or civil service? I'm contemplating to seek treatment there since it's cheaper, but I don't wish to jeopardize any chance of me seeking employment in the govt sector in the near future. I'm not in govt sector right now fyi.


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## Blushing boy

Hi, I m 26 this year and I wish to tell u my experience..I don't know whether are there ppl in sg suffer like I do, because mine problem is so rare n ridiculous( that what I thought) u see I blush easily and to the extent that my face will turn Red-hot..a really RED-HOT..I just can't explain, I knew it ok for ppl to blush in situation that causes embarrassment, but for my case, I think this blushing has gone overboard, because I can blush without any reason..I can blush when talking to strangers..when they are just asking about location, I can blush when I m just going to supermarket n saw someone I knew ( neighbour etc) worst still I blush more when talking to girls..( it was like my head going to burst anytime) because of my blushing I quit my dream job and took up jobs that are really no prospect..because I avoid a lot of jobs that I knew I will blush so intense that I won't be able to come next day  I knew this problem is because of my overreactive nervous system that causes my blushing so intense and I had look for ways to overcome it but to no success , I even tot of doing surgery to cut off my nervous system ( ETS) it surgery that will lessen my blushing but the side effect is I can't sweat from my forehead anymore.. And that is really something I won't try. I m currently jobless because I have to look for jobs that I can feel comfortable in and that is not easy..I even took up a security course to become a security guard because I don't know what job suite me now..but becoz of the 12 hours shift and 6 days of work, I was so tired  and I have to work with uncles and Malaysian.. It not a problem to me but I feel really sad when they ask me y I chose to be in this line? I m so young and energetic why am I ending up in this job? I almost cried..but what can I do? I just want to know are there any suffers out there that have e same problem as I do, because I needed a job as I can't be like this forever..I hope someone out there could provide me with some info  thanks


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## chewren

hello everybody how are you guys doing.


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## chewren

NyanCat said:


> Hi, glad to see a Singapore support group. I'm in my 30s and just realized I have SAD this year after googling all the weird symptoms and behaviour I had throughout my whole life. I have no friends due to my quiet nature, so it will be nice if there's someone here who I can connect and make friends with.
> 
> I'm curious to know if anyone who had seek treatment at IMH and is employed in stat board or civil service? I'm contemplating to seek treatment there since it's cheaper, but I don't wish to jeopardize any chance of me seeking employment in the govt sector in the near future. I'm not in govt sector right now fyi.


if you are seeking treatment, i suggest you to see psychologist who would teach you ways to handle SAD. 
i don't recommend taking a medication(psychiatrist)unless it is a last resort. medication has its side effects and you have to take it everyday.


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## pssychedelic

it's been quite a while since I last came here. 

all these true accounts of pain strike me yet again, remind me of what a curse it is to have SAD.

as we improve and move on, we gradually let the past behind and "forget" about them. it's reading these stories that open the floodgates of the past and make us remember that we did have it hellish. 

for those who managed to discover your disorder and seek treatment when you're in your adolescence... you've been fortunate. it's gonna be hell of a ride but take consolation that you know what you know what you're facing much earlier than others. 

it really is very heart wrenching to hear so many people cry for help and yet there's no definite solution to it. i wish so much that divine connections will intervene and make everything better instantaneously. sadly, this is not going to happen. 

take care you all. may you pull through these all and emerge a warrior.


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## 18yoboywithSA

Yo guys miss me?  I guess its been months since I've logged in. I do visit this thread offline from time to time.

Pssychedelic is right, as anxiety sufferers we should look out for each other and not forget others who are going through the same fate as us but who appear to be recovering at a slower pace than ourselves.

Anw life for me has been one hell of a ride lols. Lots of ups and downs. What with NS, taking public transport daily, going out with friends, personal exercise regimens etc etc.

Btw I tink I am considering joining the meetup.com social anxiety group. My best friend doesn't have anxiety but he managed to join in under the pretext that he was extremely shy. His purpose of joining is to sort of be there for me if I ever plan to join, hence I feel compelled to join


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## riptide

Hi guys. I'm new here. 

I spent most of my life dealing with my internal struggles, not realizing that there are others out there just like me. I tried time and time again explaining my thoughts to others but they never seem to really understand. 

I get nervous over the silliest things like ordering food or browsing clothes. Taking public transport was really quite a pain so I worked towards getting my own set of wheels. That is by far one of the best decisions I've made so far, yet, it doesn't solve everything. I still see people daily and I still feel oppressed and lonely.


To be honest, I'm sick and tied of hearing the same things that people tell me over and over again when I confide in them. They tell me to 'get over it' and that it's 'nothing serious'. People don't understand what a psychological disorder it so they trivialize things. They think that it is like a mood or a developmental phase, but it's not. 

I'm desperate to be in the company of people who really do understand. Just enough to understand that what I am going through is something that I have had to live with for many years and not something that comes and goes just like that. 

Talk to me. someone.


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## pssychedelic

18yoboywithSA said:


> Yo guys miss me?  I guess its been months since I've logged in. I do visit this thread offline from time to time.
> 
> Pssychedelic is right, as anxiety sufferers we should look out for each other and not forget others who are going through the same fate as us but who appear to be recovering at a slower pace than ourselves.
> 
> Anw life for me has been one hell of a ride lols. Lots of ups and downs. What with NS, taking public transport daily, going out with friends, personal exercise regimens etc etc.
> 
> Btw I tink I am considering joining the meetup.com social anxiety group. My best friend doesn't have anxiety but he managed to join in under the pretext that he was extremely shy. His purpose of joining is to sort of be there for me if I ever plan to join, hence I feel compelled to join


I tried to join that group. I typed something that says don't be a puss* in one of the questions in the application. They rejected my application hahaha. I meant it as a fire-you-up-let's-get-moving manner, not as a degrading statement. Oh well.

I too have embarked on a exercise regime over the past couple months. Keep it up!

that's nice of your best friend


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## pssychedelic

riptide said:


> Hi guys. I'm new here.
> 
> I spent most of my life dealing with my internal struggles, not realizing that there are others out there just like me. I tried time and time again explaining my thoughts to others but they never seem to really understand.
> 
> I get nervous over the silliest things like ordering food or browsing clothes. Taking public transport was really quite a pain so I worked towards getting my own set of wheels. That is by far one of the best decisions I've made so far, yet, it doesn't solve everything. I still see people daily and I still feel oppressed and lonely.
> 
> To be honest, I'm sick and tied of hearing the same things that people tell me over and over again when I confide in them. They tell me to 'get over it' and that it's 'nothing serious'. People don't understand what a psychological disorder it so they trivialize things. They think that it is like a mood or a developmental phase, but it's not.
> 
> I'm desperate to be in the company of people who really do understand. Just enough to understand that what I am going through is something that I have had to live with for many years and not something that comes and goes just like that.
> 
> Talk to me. someone.


Hi there, welcome to SAS. The world of the cursed souls.

Congratulations on having worked towards the wheels-goal you had. Nonetheless, you shouldn't avoid the crowd. In fact, you should embrace it more.

It's very easy for the general crowd to misunderstand us. Especially if the people whom you confide in obviously don't show signs of being shy and reserved at all (note: shy and reserved may not mean SAD).

People would label us weird, awkward, shy, quiet, moody.

If you're intending to get support from this forum, you will be disappointed. Most people are not interested to communicate much.

Treat this forum as more of a reading platform to understand and see that there are others which are like you.

If you haven't done so, you should seek a psychologist. It's no miracle healing session. It's simply offering you alternative views and trying to change your mindset.

In the end, if you don't want to change your frame of thoughts, nobody can help you.

In my opinion, anybody who is open-minded, thinks rationally and has a decent dose of life experiences can be that "psychologist" for our SAD situations. I won't dare say the same for other mental disorders.

Or perhaps, I haven't met a psychologist who is very good.


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## pssychedelic

Has anyone inflicted with SAD for years actually got out of this crap hole to become reasonably successful in life? I would love to meet this person.

I would say I've triumphed reasonably in terms of taking public transport, eating alone, checking out the opposite gender, these "minor" activities. Oh, what an emotional lonely ride. 

The next hurdle for me is engaging in conversations. I have improved. Previously, I was more of an idiot. Now, I'm less of an idiot and more of a quiet person (referring to how I appear to people I talk to). I suck at small talk (I used to be better at it when I was way younger and more immature).

My SAD experience actually made me think much deeper. I kept questioning about ways of life and religion, our existence etc. Eventually, I think so deep on a daily basis, I don't know how to make small talk anymore. 

I feel I might be an introvert bordering on ambivert by birth. Then, my family and SAD made things worse. Together with obsessive thinking deeply, I have became an extreme introvert (at least on the inside). hahahaha

I don't think anyone might be able to comprehend what I'm writing haha. 

Reading through the accounts of what people wrote.. wow, painful. Then, did I notice I've forgotten a fair bit of my past while moving on. It's a good sign. 

Why are we breathing? 

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up good looking and rich? Then, all our problems would dissipate. 

Does anybody here get so caught up with looks? If you've to choose looks, brains, wealth, which would you choose? The remaining 2 that you didn't choose will be given to you in ordinary dosage, not the extreme low dosage.

I would choose looks. As much as the world likes to say they celebrate inner beauty and all that, many things are based on looks. It's in the conscious, sub-conscious and unconscious mind. 

OK goodnight.


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## riptide

pssychedelic said:


> Has anyone inflicted with SAD for years actually got out of this crap hole to become reasonably successful in life? I would love to meet this person.
> 
> I would say I've triumphed reasonably in terms of taking public transport, eating alone, checking out the opposite gender, these "minor" activities. Oh, what an emotional lonely ride.
> 
> The next hurdle for me is engaging in conversations. I have improved. Previously, I was more of an idiot. Now, I'm less of an idiot and more of a quiet person (referring to how I appear to people I talk to). I suck at small talk (I used to be better at it when I was way younger and more immature).
> 
> My SAD experience actually made me think much deeper. I kept questioning about ways of life and religion, our existence etc. Eventually, I think so deep on a daily basis, I don't know how to make small talk anymore.
> 
> I feel I might be an introvert bordering on ambivert by birth. Then, my family and SAD made things worse. Together with obsessive thinking deeply, I have became an extreme introvert (at least on the inside). hahahaha
> 
> I don't think anyone might be able to comprehend what I'm writing haha.
> 
> Reading through the accounts of what people wrote.. wow, painful. Then, did I notice I've forgotten a fair bit of my past while moving on. It's a good sign.
> 
> Why are we breathing?
> 
> Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up good looking and rich? Then, all our problems would dissipate.
> 
> Does anybody here get so caught up with looks? If you've to choose looks, brains, wealth, which would you choose? The remaining 2 that you didn't choose will be given to you in ordinary dosage, not the extreme low dosage.
> 
> I would choose looks. As much as the world likes to say they celebrate inner beauty and all that, many things are based on looks. It's in the conscious, sub-conscious and unconscious mind.
> 
> OK goodnight.


I do comprehend what you're saying. Our thoughts do wander into places that the thoughts of others don't. Maybe it has to do with the way we're wired, maybe it's just the quiet.

Most people would say 'brains' to be politically correct, or to fit in but truth be told I agree with you, many things are based on looks. Physical attractiveness has its benefits and perks and to have a genetic perk like that, especially at a time like this.. who knows?


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## pssychedelic

read the book QUIET by Susan Cain. It's a good read.

On the book, there's this test to assess your level of introvert-ness. I took the test based on whom I was in my adolescence just to see how I was like. I scored very near the extreme. I believe many of you would score near the extreme too, since we all are plagued with SAD.

Oh yeah looks are many things. I suppose from SAD veterans, we're so much more particular about looks because our self-esteem is very low.

A lovely quote I saw recently:

*It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.* - Frederick Douglass


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## 18yoboywithSA

Hi peeps...

Not sure if wdv I type below is relevant to SA but here goes:

Two days ago I was on the public bus on the way home from camp (yea btw I'm serving NS in the SAF side) and I noticed this cute bespectacled girl who was quite elegantly dressed in black sitting a seat away from I was. Oh yea I have a 'preferred' seat location on the back left corner of the bus and I am 90% guaranteed to have that spot on the two buses I have to take to and fro camp each trip. The reason I sit there is because I feel that position ensures that I do not get observed by others easily.

As she was on the bus for a long time, I finally plucked up my courage to ask her this:

" 'Cuse me, can I have a few seconds of ur time? " I said

" What? " She replied, unable to understand my incoherent mumbling.

So I repeated the question again. And she sorta said OK.

" I noticed u've been on the bus for quite long... And I just want to tell u u're quite pretty and cute... "

" Sorry I'm married " her eyes met mine as she replied.

After that I got dam paiseh... So I looked to my left at the outside scenery. What a pity! Well... At least I had the b*lls to confess to a total stranger I liked! Although all that while I was mumbling as I was quite nervous...

But yet inside me I felt quite triumphant. Cuz if I have courage to tell an attractive lady that I admire her, I'm sure I have all the courage in the world to face my fears of anxiety!!

Anyways I shared with a friend about my experience and he really said I had b*lls.. I mean... to me at first I thought it's quite normal for a guy to approach a girl what? And I wanted to know the experience firsthand..

So guys, what are your thoughts? Do you think I was quite stupid to approach her? Especially so in a freaking crowded bus where the people beside could overhear our conversation?

Did she lie to me she's married cuz I was dam freakish? Hahaha


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## pssychedelic

excellent courage!

it takes balls for even a non-SAD person to do it. 

congratulations on this mini milestone!

the courage is good.. but i think you would have to tweak your approach. your approach comes on too strong. it probably would have worked better if you're in a club/pub or that you're godly good looking (don't worry, hardly anybody is). 

these memories are those that you will laugh them off when you're older! 

sometimes, when we see someone that grabs our attention so much, we just want to pay a compliment with no ill intentions. i think generally, singaporeans don't readily accept such sudden compliments bc it's not in our culture to do such things once in a while.


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## Caramelizedsugar

Hi fellow Singaporeans! Just discovered that what I've been suffering from for years is Social anxiety disorder.. People around me at school recently have mistaken my nervousness/awkwardness and thought that I liked them romantically. But I didn't. Ugh. It's been terrible for me.. Anyone else out there who has experienced this? Pls tell me I'm not alone. 

SAD is affecting my life at home too. :< and practically everywhere else. In a very quiet, subtle and sickening way. This is really the first time I'm actually coming to terms with my problem, so please bear with the load of idk-what-to-name-it.

I get along just fine without symptoms of anxiety or fear or embarrassment with only a few close friends I've known before. Other times when friends or acquaintances get friendly with me or like take my arm in a childlike and friendly way I recoil and stiffen and get awkward and anxious that they can see I'm feeling very nervous. And they really do notice and stop and sometimes kind of distance themselves away, if they were just beginning to get close to me or if we weren't yet friends to begin with. Basically... Yes, I'm socially anxious and yes I need help to overcome this problem...


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## 18yoboywithSA

HIIIE FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS!!!!

*HAPPY NEW YEAR!*

hope that this year, the beautiful year of 2014 will be a year where everyone prospers and we will be almost rid of dibilating problems n anxiety whatsoever!! I knw it sounds damn impossible but I have only two word to describe my sudden influx of feelings of positivity and optimism!

_Human Spirit_

Its possible for many cancer patients to be cured of cancer based on an enduring spirit alone. Google up 'placebo effect'. Yes there's oso the medical treatment process in it but I dare to say this miraculous effect or 'cure' works on the basis that all humans haf an intrinsic motivation to survive n succeed!

Anw,for those ns peeps like myself, all the best! New year alr means closer to ORD. Paging for mrbean, hope u still will visit here once in a blue moon ya?

Let 2014 be a yr whr this forums come alive! And.. I haf a suggestion if u all dun mind? Does any1 support the idea of a private forum for SAD sufferers? Posting here may make some feel uncomfortable even though they can remain quite anonymous if they choose to. I'm nt rly gd at web hosting nor am I a natural ldr so I leave it up to someone/some ppl here who genuinely wan to act like a servant leader to other peeps here xD should this idea come into fruition


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## KabutoEX

Hi i'm not new to this forum,but i've rarely posted anything.its nice to start the new year on a positive note =).i just want to know whether there'd be any meet ups soon so we could have a chat and help each other out?


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## tqs

*New here*

Hi,

I'm new here. I've always been fearful of talking to people, even at work when i really needed to talk (sometimes all i needed was to inform colleagues of very basic things via email but I could still get freaked out by that).

Recently I could feel that the condition had worsened as I just cannot face anyone anymore... today i saw a checklist on the Singapore Psychiatry Association and found that I was answering 'yes' to most of the questions. that's when i learnt that social anxiety is something i might be experiencing.

i wished 2014 would be a good year, but the year started with a worsening condition for me instead 

I just found this forum today... how does this forum work? :|


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## pssychedelic

http://asp.cumc.columbia.edu/SAD/

Take a Social Anxiety Test to gauge roughly where you stand now.

A new year, a new place (changing of countries) will not make us feel better sadly. Issues will keep surfacing unless we learn how to deal and overcome them.

But we do have a new day everyday. Think more of new day, rather than new year.

take care


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## reliefseeker

tqs said:


> Hi,
> 
> I'm new here. I've always been fearful of talking to people, even at work when i really needed to talk (sometimes all i needed was to inform colleagues of very basic things via email but I could still get freaked out by that).
> |


Hi...I had the same problem, always dont feel comfortable talking at all, most of the time when I open my mouth or initiating smth, I feel like I'm not myself. Its kinda affecting me at work in a way.


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## 18yoboywithSA

pssychedelic said:


> http://asp.cumc.columbia.edu/SAD/
> 
> Take a Social Anxiety Test to gauge roughly where you stand now.
> 
> A new year, a new place (changing of countries) will not make us feel better sadly. Issues will keep surfacing unless we learn how to deal and overcome them.
> 
> But we do have a new day everyday. Think more of new day, rather than new year.
> 
> take care


Ehhh sexaye ladehh... oh oh oh...oppa gangnam style! Haha juz kidding but thx psy for showing me the link to the test. I took it and scored 136. Anyways, I have some other things I want to talk about but I don't have the time to say it right now.. Maybe over the weekends or something..

I'm at my wits' end now, and so is my mom, I would say. I was merely describing an anxiety experience to her just now and my reasons I feel for visiting a private anxiety specialist I had seen earlier last year prior to my enlistment (around june to july 2013), but she doesn't seem to support me. Tmr I'm gng to see the MO and hoping to get certain statuses.. I know my message sounds very garbled n incoherent, but I will try my best to find time and explain in summary next time. Meanwhile, just hoping for the best, especially so during this crucial period of seving NS. *fingers crossed*


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## geminia

18yoboywithSA said:


> Ehhh sexaye ladehh... oh oh oh...oppa gangnam style! Haha juz kidding but thx psy for showing me the link to the test. I took it and scored 136. Anyways, I have some other things I want to talk about but I don't have the time to say it right now.. Maybe over the weekends or something..
> 
> I'm at my wits' end now, and so is my mom, I would say. I was merely describing an anxiety experience to her just now and my reasons I feel for visiting a private anxiety specialist I had seen earlier last year prior to my enlistment (around june to july 2013), but she doesn't seem to support me. Tmr I'm gng to see the MO and hoping to get certain statuses.. I know my message sounds very garbled n incoherent, but I will try my best to find time and explain in summary next time. Meanwhile, just hoping for the best, especially so during this crucial period of seving NS. *fingers crossed*


Hi 18yoboy, I have a similar status like you and I ended up as PES E training in HRI. At first I'm avoiding NS, but after spending time in NS with people talking together, i got so much better and improved my skill. I feel awkward when I was in HRI, but I got so much better after I am posted to a unit. I even rose up to CFC (Corporal first class) Jia you ok


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## pssychedelic

18yoboywithSA said:


> Ehhh sexaye ladehh... oh oh oh...oppa gangnam style! Haha juz kidding but thx psy for showing me the link to the test. I took it and scored 136. Anyways, I have some other things I want to talk about but I don't have the time to say it right now.. Maybe over the weekends or something..
> 
> I'm at my wits' end now, and so is my mom, I would say. I was merely describing an anxiety experience to her just now and my reasons I feel for visiting a private anxiety specialist I had seen earlier last year prior to my enlistment (around june to july 2013), but she doesn't seem to support me. Tmr I'm gng to see the MO and hoping to get certain statuses.. I know my message sounds very garbled n incoherent, but I will try my best to find time and explain in summary next time. Meanwhile, just hoping for the best, especially so during this crucial period of seving NS. *fingers crossed*


I was directing this message to tqs.. haha. It's good info for everyone anyway. I took the test based on whom I was when I was 14 years old (yeah I still remember the horrible situation I was in; how can we possibly forget). Can't rmb my exact score but it was definitely in the higher percentile.

I served my NS without knowing I had this disorder. It was a terrible experience if I have to break it down to the little bits and parts. Little did I know - not knowing what disorder I had is a "blessing" in disguise. I didn't quit; but if I had known of this disorder and this forum, I would definitely have been much more tempted to throw in the towel. I was in a PES A demanding unit (bright side: there are honour perks because of the unit I was from). I even marched during ndp as part of guard of honour. Never in my dreams would I march on national tv one day.

But I was fortunate. I had a gf who believed in me 100% and loved me UNconditionally. It was her love (not my parents; they loved conditionally) that brought me through those 2 years. I ruined her emotionally - I was young and had not known better.

Even then with my gf's unconditional love, I harboured thoughts of killing myself and others (because I had no proper consultation of my issues and my family isn't supportive). Of course, this is just scrapping the surface.

6 years have passed since. I see how unconditional love from family especially is very important in aiding the road to recovery. I still don't get the love I need from my family - but I have decided I'm going to move on with or without their love.

my advice to you 18yearoldwithSA.. take concrete slow steps to improving your situation and if possible, finish your NS at your current PES. It will be a milestone accomplishment for yourself.

I find social anxiety institute's audiobook and handouts to be useful if you pay good attention to it - hang onto every word.

Lastly, learn to love yourself. Learn to love yourself selfishly. I just learned for myself that I barely loved myself. I start to see how my life changed once I love myself more and start believing I deserve to receive much more in life.

While we are hating ourselves so much, subjecting ourselves to so many people's abuse for years, many other people out there are loving themselves adequately and beyond.

Whitney Houston - Greatest Love Of All


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## reliefseeker

Me said:


> 97533539


Hey guys, I've hosted a whatsapp chat group for everyone here, for those interested to join, you may msg me in whatsapp(my HP no as above) and I'll add you in.


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## hooheyhoo

*Im new too. .*

About me: im Joey, a girl. Currently going 19 this year. studying in ite and im going to have two presentation on mon. i feel like i cant breathe properly now.. My classmates kept laughing when im trying to present. that make me panic even more.


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## 18yoboywithSA

hooheyhoo said:


> About me: im Joey, a girl. Currently going 19 this year. studying in ite and im going to have two presentation on mon. i feel like i cant breathe properly now.. My classmates kept laughing when im trying to present. that make me panic even more.


Hope ure feeling alright now 
so how was it?


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## X23

hooheyhoo said:


> About me: im Joey, a girl. Currently going 19 this year. studying in ite and im going to have two presentation on mon. i feel like i cant breathe properly now.. My classmates kept laughing when im trying to present. that make me panic even more.


I can so relate. I'm 19 too. And I remembered having a panic attack when I'm having my presentation in poly.


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## Chipmunks

Hi all, im new here. Found this forum while googling on how to overcome SA. Hope to find someone to talk to, as I have no close friends to share my problems. 

I feel so lonely sometimes. It's really hard for me to keep in contact with my friends, and be close like before. Whenever I want to start a convo or want to ask them out, I will be really scared(?) (idk how to explain that feeling). Although I know that there's nothing to be afraid of, since we are already friends, but making a call and even texting "How are you" is very hard for me. I give up on initiating, and eventually this leads to why I have no close friends. I'm also afraid to go out when I have to meet strangers, even though my friend will be there too. Sometimes when my friends ask me out, I'll just act busy or give stupid excuses just to avoid it. Is anyone here like me? Why am I so weird. If only I don't have SA.. Sigh.


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## Aceta

Chipmunks said:


> Hi all, im new here. Found this forum while googling on how to overcome SA. Hope to find someone to talk to, as I have no close friends to share my problems.
> 
> I feel so lonely sometimes. It's really hard for me to keep in contact with my friends, and be close like before. Whenever I want to start a convo or want to ask them out, I will be really scared(?) (idk how to explain that feeling). Although I know that there's nothing to be afraid of, since we are already friends, but making a call and even texting "How are you" is very hard for me. I give up on initiating, and eventually this leads to why I have no close friends. I'm also afraid to go out when I have to meet strangers, even though my friend will be there too. Sometimes when my friends ask me out, I'll just act busy or give stupid excuses just to avoid it. Is anyone here like me? Why am I so weird. If only I don't have SA.. Sigh.


Hi Chipmunks,

I'm new here too. I kinda know how you feel...I find it so frustrating sometimes, because it's not that I don't want to interact with people, but there just seems to be an invisible barrier.

I think I'm born with SA because for as long as I could remember, I had this problem. I've had difficulties establishing relationships with people. And it makes me emo to think that people will never contact me if I don't take the initative...sometimes I feel so tired of initiating and I will swear inside my head...I'm envious, and maybe even jealous, of ppl who seem to not have SA...I ask myself why me?

Asking the 'why' questions usually makes me depressed...but what to do? I don't have answers to my depressing questions, and sometimes I just have to cheer myself up and move on with life...

I don't know if I'm much help, but if you want someone to talk to, can always talk to me. =) I appreciate it when ppl talk to me too....

I hate SA, but it has always been an integral part of me such that I don't know what I'll be like if I don't have SA...>_<

Haiz....Jiayou ppl!!!


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## Chipmunks

Aceta said:


> Hi Chipmunks,
> 
> I'm new here too. I kinda know how you feel...I find it so frustrating sometimes, because it's not that I don't want to interact with people, but there just seems to be an invisible barrier.
> 
> I think I'm born with SA because for as long as I could remember, I had this problem. I've had difficulties establishing relationships with people. And it makes me emo to think that people will never contact me if I don't take the initative...sometimes I feel so tired of initiating and I will swear inside my head...I'm envious, and maybe even jealous, of ppl who seem to not have SA...I ask myself why me?
> 
> Asking the 'why' questions usually makes me depressed...but what to do? I don't have answers to my depressing questions, and sometimes I just have to cheer myself up and move on with life...
> 
> I don't know if I'm much help, but if you want someone to talk to, can always talk to me. =) I appreciate it when ppl talk to me too....
> 
> I hate SA, but it has always been an integral part of me such that I don't know what I'll be like if I don't have SA...>_<
> 
> Haiz....Jiayou ppl!!!


Hi Aceta!

Yes yes. That's exactly how I feel too. It's like why others have no problem interacting with everyone. How do they do it? It makes me so depressed when my friends leave me because I don't take the initiative. And by the time I learnt that taking initiative is one of the important things to maintain friendships, my friends are already not close to me anymore and everything is different like we used to.

Me too, is envious at others, and always thinking about that. Why me? Why us? Why do I have to face this? Just like you, I always have negative thoughts about it and eventually I will cry myself to sleep at times..

And hey, I even thought of that too! Sometimes I will imagine my life without sa. Maybe by now I already achieve my dreams.. 

Jiayou too ok! Let's conquer this people!


----------



## anxietylady

Hey there. I'm a mid-20s lady with social anxiety and I'd like to make a new ladyfriend who enjoys casual gaming. I love playing Left 4 Dead 2 and I hope you do too. I would like us to be close friends besides just apocalypse-cancelling friends, you know, friends who watch movies together and hang out at comic book stores and do video game cosplay. I bet we could have a pretty great time together. I am also a fan of Pacific Rim, Hannibal, Doctor Who, BBC Sherlock, and Team Fortress 2, so it would be nice if you like some of that too. I'd be more than willing to check out the things you're into as well, just tell me what you'd like to do and let's do it together. I play video games casually and to have a good time so beginners of varying skill levels are welcome. If you're interested, drop me an email at neuroatypi[email protected], hope we can hit it off. Thanks!


----------



## reliefseeker

Chipmunks said:


> Hi all, im new here. Found this forum while googling on how to overcome SA. Hope to find someone to talk to, as I have no close friends to share my problems.
> 
> I feel so lonely sometimes. It's really hard for me to keep in contact with my friends, and be close like before. Whenever I want to start a convo or want to ask them out, I will be really scared(?) (idk how to explain that feeling). Although I know that there's nothing to be afraid of, since we are already friends, but making a call and even texting "How are you" is very hard for me. I give up on initiating, and eventually this leads to why I have no close friends. I'm also afraid to go out when I have to meet strangers, even though my friend will be there too. Sometimes when my friends ask me out, I'll just act busy or give stupid excuses just to avoid it. Is anyone here like me? Why am I so weird. If only I don't have SA.. Sigh.


I was like you too...esp when it comes to dealing with normal people including friends, I tend to shun away from them unless there are impt stuffs to talk abt.

Apart from that, I used to have ongoing anxiety and panic attacks for years that i decided to throw away my social life completely and then start from square one. 
It was only recently that I'm starting to see slight improvements, and this is possible with the help of medications, several friends from this support group and a bit of willpower.

I started a whatsapp SAS support chatgroup for this particular thread, feel free to add and PM me if you or anyone else here wants to join, 97533539.


----------



## TheHollow

Hello everyone.Im new here.Im 17 have sa and currently studying in poly this year.I have no friends and have a hard time coping in school due to anxiety.I hope we can all be friends and discuss our problems


----------



## yjlim2002

Hi. I am a 20 year old guy from Singapore who has suffered for SAD for I think 6 years. It became more serious at the start of this year so I went to visit a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with SAD. I tried Lexapro and Stablon but both didn't seem to work. Does anybody know any good/effective psychologist/psychiatrist in Singapore that has helped them cope or overcome SAD? Please share. Thxs!


----------



## reversethecurse

How fellow SG Sa folks doing,long time no check this site which is good i guess.


----------



## ericstar

Hi guys,

I'm from SG too.

I just wanna ask you guys.

Who has been seeking treatment from psychiatrists for social anxiety?

What treatment methods did they use?

And was it effective?

I hope you guys will share your experiences.


----------



## Kody123

ericstar said:


> Hi guys,
> 
> I'm from SG too.
> 
> I just wanna ask you guys.
> 
> Who has been seeking treatment from psychiatrists for social anxiety?
> 
> What treatment methods did they use?
> 
> And was it effective?
> 
> I hope you guys will share your experiences.


You're gonna have to keep trying psychologists/therapists until u find one that is the right fit.

Ms leow @ IMH is a senior psychologist, helped me out alot with SA. Also the fee is subsidised so not too ex.

Her method is no medicine but CBT and exposure therapy. U may need referral letter to see her so get from polyclinic or elsewhere.


----------



## meowcat97

*Hey everyone*

Hey there @thehollow I am also 17 and I suffer from social anxiety that is so bad that I can't go to poly now  I don't know what to do now and I am lost.


----------



## wc ang

Hi is this thread still alive? I have been looking for people have SAD. . Not sure whether I have this condition.. but I do have chronic depression and is now undergoing medication. It's beenhalf a year since I started my treatment. So far things have been looking up for me. But I just feel that sth is missing from my life. It's like a big hole eating me away
Though I have no problem communicating with my colleagues and strangers around me at work. But most of the time i am just acting to cater to the nature of my work

I always feel awkward alone and would coop myself up at home most of the time. Very frustrated and alone but i couldn't bring myself to tell anyone the truth.


----------



## ChrisTuckerz

I'm 21 and is think have had social anxiety my whole life, it has really been unbearable..I am a new member here and just want to know if this thread is still alive I feel so alone all the time.


----------



## reliefseeker

Hi yall..Been a while since i've posted.

Some updates based from what I've observed:

So far the previous SA meetup group was closed down, this time they set up a new one here http://www.meetup.com/socialanxietydepressionsupport/ .

I'm one of their regular members, and from what i've experienced there, they have a bunch of supportive members, so do join their meetup events.

Besides there is also a SAS support whatsapp chatgroup with members from this forum & the SA meetup site, so if u're keen to join, you may PM me @ *97533539* (Jeff), no pressure to be chatty there, you may listen if you wish to


----------



## reliefseeker

meowcat97 said:


> Hey there @thehollow I am also 17 and I suffer from social anxiety that is so bad that I can't go to poly now  I don't know what to do now and I am lost.


Hey...how's things going now? Hope you're doing ok.


----------



## pssychedelic

i'm curious if any SAD veterans have successfully committed suicide? of course, we will not know but just a passing thought.


----------



## Dancing

Hi guys, I'm new here


----------



## reliefseeker

Dancing said:


> Hi guys, I'm new here


Hi there :wels
Is there anything u need help on, feel free to share yah..


----------



## Connectbit

Hi there, i am newly joined member in this forum. As I am an IT professional in Connectbit who serves *IT services in singapore*​ and across, but like to connect with singapore forums.


----------



## AnnabelleL

Hi, anybody still here?


----------



## reliefseeker

AnnabelleL said:


> Hi, anybody still here?


Yup I'm here


----------



## Dadforlife

Hi all,

Nice to find this support group. I am a Singapore Dad would like to know more friends here with the same problem as me. I have partially overcome my problem to form a family that I called my own. I Do pm me if you guys want a person to talk to or just wanna be friends.


----------



## reliefseeker

Bring up the post, hope members can see it


----------



## reliefseeker

Connectbit said:


> Hi there, i am newly joined member in this forum. As I am an IT professional in Connectbit who serves *IT services in singapore*​ and across, but like to connect with singapore forums.


Hi, would u be keen to set up a Singapore SAS support group website for all of us?


----------



## reversethecurse

Has the community here move to someplace else,seeing as it's been pretty inactive compared to the past?


----------



## reliefseeker

reversethecurse said:


> Has the community here move to someplace else,seeing as it's been pretty inactive compared to the past?


No, there's isn't anybody posting here for the past few months thats why I brought up this thread for more awareness, 
esp the new local meetup group and a whatsapp chatgroup, u guys might wanna check it out: http://www.meetup.com/socialanxietydepressionsupport/

for the latter, you may contact 97533539.


----------



## yjlim2002

*Anybody who has successfully overcome SAD???*

Is there anyone who has successfully overcome SAD? What is the solution? I have tried medications(all sorts), meditation, CBT, ACT, praying, TCM but none have worked. Looks like I am going to die soon.


----------



## mojh

hey anyone here currently studying in university? My university days are depressing with my SA  can anyone provide advice and tips on how to survive?


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## yjlim2002

me. 1st year at nus chem eng. I am trying Dr. Richard's CBT tapes again. Maybe you can try it.


----------



## mojh

yjlim2002 said:


> me. 1st year at nus chem eng. I am trying Dr. Richard's CBT tapes again. Maybe you can try it.


 i'm from nus too.. where can i find the tapes online?


----------



## evin

Hi guys. Im kinda new here. I'm 20 and studying in poly. I literally have no friends and I once dropped out of school because of my sa ):


----------



## yjlim2002

*Hello*

Hello. This thread is dead lol.


----------



## yjlim2002

we can be friends if you want.


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## reliefseeker

evin said:


> Hi guys. Im kinda new here. I'm 20 and studying in poly. I literally have no friends and I once dropped out of school because of my sa ):


Sounds horrible, sorry to read about your situation. Have you seek any help from the doctors/counselors?

I was in your shoes last time, to some extent. My SA kept me from interacting with poly peers, as a result I dreaded projects, lost motivation, everyday _crawling_ to school with a bag of nerves, endure, conflict with teammates, subjected to ridicule and abuses because my behavior deviated from their norm, and i was very affected psychologically. Thank god i made it through that hell of a place and now I'm coping with work.

If u need someone to talk to, just leave me a message or whatsapp me at my number. Dont lose hope yet.


----------



## reliefseeker

yjlim2002 said:


> Hello. This thread is dead lol.


Hi...I'm still here reading the posts once in awhile although I don't come here as often as I used to.


----------



## yjlim2002

*hello*

Hi. Have you overcome SAD?


----------



## reliefseeker

Still coping. Cant say i overcome it since SAD isnt my primary diagnosis lol.


----------



## yjlim2002

What is your primary diagnosis? Do you mind sharing how do you cope with SAD?


----------



## reliefseeker

yjlim2002 said:


> What is your primary diagnosis? Do you mind sharing how do you cope with SAD?


My coping skills arent much, used to do CBT, and now mindfulness, I'm on antidepressants, antipsychotics, benzos, mood stabilizers. Also attend psychotherapy sessions once every 2 weeks.


----------



## krystalpalace

*SA disrupts my life*



NyanCat said:


> Hi, glad to see a Singapore support group. I'm in my 30s and just realized I have SAD this year after googling all the weird symptoms and behaviour I had throughout my whole life. I have no friends due to my quiet nature, so it will be nice if there's someone here who I can connect and make friends with.
> 
> I'm curious to know if anyone who had seek treatment at IMH and is employed in stat board or civil service? I'm contemplating to seek treatment there since it's cheaper, but I don't wish to jeopardize any chance of me seeking employment in the govt sector in the near future. I'm not in govt sector right now fyi.


Hi I'm new here. I have also just discovered my SAD the same way, googling all the symptoms and realising my avoidant behaviour all these years. My anxiety occurs in the work environment and in certain social situations. However, it is most debilitating at work, as I feel overwhelming stress when I have to speak up during meetings, meet people of authority and speaking in front of groups. I avoided taking on permanent jobs and felt it was easier for me to take on temp/contract jobs so there is a chance for me to quit, if things get a little too much. I graduated from a local uni but Ive been too afraid to find a perm job. Whenever the job requirement states excellent communication and interpersonal skills, my heart sank a little and I wouldn't apply. All jobs especially for degree-holders require you to present and communicate very well. I would apply for admin jobs but am told that I'm overqualified for it.

Currently, I've worked in an org for over a year as a temp and I was asked to make a presentation which I initially prepared for, a month in advance. It was a simple 10 minute briefing but my anxiety built up crazily over the weeks, and I've rehearsed it to the point of insanity (that has always been my coping strategy). Towards the last week, I buckled under the pressure and had a meltdown at home. My hands trembled, and I lost all confidence, appetite and sleep. I made an excuse to get out of it so my colleague had to do the briefing on my behalf. I felt so guilty and wanted to quit but somehow I managed to just stay on. Since then, I plummeted into depression and started googling extensively on how I can help myself. I've consulted a hypnotherapist and a counsellor from SAMH but not much difference to be honest. I began to withdraw from my colleagues and from my friends. My self-esteem is at the lowest. I tried my hardest to hide my condition but colleagues have probably noticed my introversion and when I am too quiet at meetings. Recently, I had to make a 2 minute announcement in front a class of 30+ middle managers and felt a surge of anxiety that I couldn't hide. I was ironically calm prior to the announcement (trying my best to visualise positive outcomes, silencing negative self-talk, deep breathing etc) but once I was in front of the group, I could feel the blood rush to my face, I started to tremble, my voice was a little shaky, I couldnt make eye contact with the audience and my mind was distracted. I just wanted to run out of the room so I ended it rather abruptly and awkwardly. I cried when I went home. The embarrassment was too much.

My boss recently asked to convert my contract to a perm one, without knowing the issues that I have. I felt extremely anxious because I know a perm position would mean that I can no longer escape public speaking yet, I really need the money. I felt so torn and worried incessantly and tried to stall for as long as possible but when my boss finally asked for my decision, I teared and confessed my issues briefly. He told me I would get over it in time and was still keen to hire me.

I still felt anxious about it and cried when I got back home. I think it was very kind of him but he doesnt know the severity of this condition and how it has affected me the past year. I decided to come clean and disclose my SA in an email, attaching some videos to better explain it. I asked for a perm position and a paycut if it would allow me to not speak in public. I do not know the outcome of this disclosure however, I know that I will not be able to hide my SA any longer.

Previously, Ive been to a GP who has prescribed Propanolol to help me mask my symptoms and I've consumed it a couple of times before I went to meetings or had to make some announcements. But I was afraid of being dependent on the pills so the last announcement I made was done without the drugs. Hence, the symptoms came and affected me.

I think SA runs in my family as I notice the symptoms in some of my younger cousins. However, my mum does not accept it and denies that it is a mental health issue. I really don't know how I can work given that I'm overqualified for most jobs that do not require much public speaking. I have a friend with SA too but she is working in a uniform govt job that doesn't require her to do presentations (she is a dip holder).

This is how SA disrupts my life. Most people are working hard to get a degree and get a good job while I find my degree a liability. It has spillover effects into my social life because I feel so ashamed of myself, I shy away from my peers who are accomplished in life. My inner critic calls me a useless graduate. Anyone else can relate to this? =(

I'm really SAD. Pun intended.


----------



## yjlim2002

Hello. I am sorry to hear about your condition. SAD also prevents me from doing many things. I am still trying my best to cope with it.


----------



## yjlim2002

btw if you are looking for a support group. check out this http://www.meetup.com/socialanxietydepressionsupport/


----------



## teachamomile

*new member here*

Hi, I'm a new member, 22 and now in my 3rd year of uni.

I hope there are still people on this thread. I've known the existence of this website for many years alrdy but I only joined today cuz I felt like tonight is the night that I cannot take it anymore. Like I just feel the older I get the more I'm regressing back into some malfunctioning underdeveloped crazy wreck piece of I dunno what.

I sit alone in almost all of my classes, I don't know anyone, in my 3 years in this uni I can safely say I have made ZERO friends. And now is Week 4 already and I don't yet have a project group in one of my modules. I swear to god if the prof doesn't help me allocate a project group by this week I am going to have to drop this module because almost every group has already presented. I cannot do presentations or class part at all and class participation is like 20-30% of each mod. I know this is not the place to rant or complain about this kind of trivial school stuff that is probably nothing to most of you, but I don't have anyone else to tell these stuff to. I have no idea what I am doing with my life. I'm at a point where I cannot go forward and I cannot go back either. I worry with the way that I am I probably won't be able to find a job when I graduate. I don't use any form of social networking platforms other than whatsapp if you even consider it as a social networking platform at all.

I don't know what to do. I have nobody to talk to. I know there's that meetup group which I can join but right now I feel like my numerous past attempts to "step out of your comfort zone and take action to change yourself" has been complete flunks. It's not like I haven't tried. Heck I forced myself to join this community youth club, I forced myself to join this speech making group, I forced myself to join this and that and this and in the end I am still the same old me and I just can't change the fact that I never once felt comfortable or relaxed or even remotely "part of" anything at all. I feel like even if i joined a social anxiety group I will still end up being the "quiet" girl of the group and i hate being the "quiet" girl of ANYTHING.

I realised recently that when I'm walking in public my neck hurts cuz I cannot bring myself to look up. I look on the floor like 90% of the time and I hate taking public transport. Recently I self-diagnosed myself with a mild case of PTSD from my last internship. It has been 6 months since the worst internship experience of my life and I still have flashbacks like a couple of times everyday, and I have been having nightmares a few times every week as well. Like literally nightmares at night when I sleep. Of the job experience and those people I met at that workplace. On retrospect I kinda feel like it was a case of workplace bullying. If Singapore hadn't been so small I would have totally announced the name of the company.

I have had a history of ocd and anxiety disorder (some other anxiety, not SAD) and have sought therapist help with CBT and medication. I don't think I would want to bomb my parents again with another case of mental related problems. I think they were more than eager to forget about the fact that their daughter has some seriously fffed up brain.

I didnt realise my post would be so long. )))):


----------



## yjlim2002

teachamomile said:


> Hi, I'm a new member, 22 and now in my 3rd year of uni.
> 
> I hope there are still people on this thread. I've known the existence of this website for many years alrdy but I only joined today cuz I felt like tonight is the night that I cannot take it anymore. Like I just feel the older I get the more I'm regressing back into some malfunctioning underdeveloped crazy wreck piece of I dunno what.
> 
> I sit alone in almost all of my classes, I don't know anyone, in my 3 years in this uni I can safely say I have made ZERO friends. And now is Week 4 already and I don't yet have a project group in one of my modules. I swear to god if the prof doesn't help me allocate a project group by this week I am going to have to drop this module because almost every group has already presented. I cannot do presentations or class part at all and class participation is like 20-30% of each mod. I know this is not the place to rant or complain about this kind of trivial school stuff that is probably nothing to most of you, but I don't have anyone else to tell these stuff to. I have no idea what I am doing with my life. I'm at a point where I cannot go forward and I cannot go back either. I worry with the way that I am I probably won't be able to find a job when I graduate. I don't use any form of social networking platforms other than whatsapp if you even consider it as a social networking platform at all.
> 
> I don't know what to do. I have nobody to talk to. I know there's that meetup group which I can join but right now I feel like my numerous past attempts to "step out of your comfort zone and take action to change yourself" has been complete flunks. It's not like I haven't tried. Heck I forced myself to join this community youth club, I forced myself to join this speech making group, I forced myself to join this and that and this and in the end I am still the same old me and I just can't change the fact that I never once felt comfortable or relaxed or even remotely "part of" anything at all. I feel like even if i joined a social anxiety group I will still end up being the "quiet" girl of the group and i hate being the "quiet" girl of ANYTHING.
> 
> I realised recently that when I'm walking in public my neck hurts cuz I cannot bring myself to look up. I look on the floor like 90% of the time and I hate taking public transport. Recently I self-diagnosed myself with a mild case of PTSD from my last internship. It has been 6 months since the worst internship experience of my life and I still have flashbacks like a couple of times everyday, and I have been having nightmares a few times every week as well. Like literally nightmares at night when I sleep. Of the job experience and those people I met at that workplace. On retrospect I kinda feel like it was a case of workplace bullying. If Singapore hadn't been so small I would have totally announced the name of the company.
> 
> I have had a history of ocd and anxiety disorder (some other anxiety, not SAD) and have sought therapist help with CBT and medication. I don't think I would want to bomb my parents again with another case of mental related problems. I think they were more than eager to forget about the fact that their daughter has some seriously fffed up brain.
> 
> I didnt realise my post would be so long. )))):


 I think that I am the only one that is really active in this thread. I am also 22 this year and also studying in uni. I don't really know how to help you as I am also trying to cope with it. But you are not alone. I was also afraid of attending the meetup group but I forced myself to go last Sat and it turned out all right. I think I shall go for more.


----------



## teachamomile

yjlim2002 said:


> I think that I am the only one that is really active in this thread. I am also 22 this year and also studying in uni. I don't really know how to help you as I am also trying to cope with it. But you are not alone. I was also afraid of attending the meetup group but I forced myself to go last Sat and it turned out all right. I think I shall go for more.


What did you do at the group session? Are there a lot of members? I see that some of the upcoming events have like 2 or 3 people attending, will it be very awkward if a new person suddenly appear? ): Also do people normally have self esteem issues along with social anxiety?


----------



## yjlim2002

teachamomile said:


> What did you do at the group session? Are there a lot of members? I see that some of the upcoming events have like 2 or 3 people attending, will it be very awkward if a new person suddenly appear? ): Also do people normally have self esteem issues along with social anxiety?


 I went for the street soccer. But they whatsapp me say can go earlier to chat so I went. I met 2 other people with SAD. I think 8 people went. Others have got depression and other problems. I am new. We just said hi and talk lor. yea people with SAD have low self-esteem.


----------



## reliefseeker

Tired, disappointed. What a letdown things has been, so much for making efforts.. For those of u who muster the courage to attend meetups, keep it up.


----------



## fictionz

Singapore is my neighbour... 
Due to SA, I haven't travelled much in my life, all my years, I have never gone overseas, not even to Singapore. I have often attributed it to my own family never going to places and usually staying home, but now that I am older, I think I could actually come down to Singapore if I really wanted to.
Hope I'll get there someday.


----------



## Kody123

Haven't plucked up the courage to join a meetup yet. I've had so many setbacks that I'm wary of pushing myself again. bleh.

I'll be more active on this thread, if it hasn't died yet.


----------



## Hopingforamiracle

Hi all

Checking for the first tm.

Hope to find some support n also provide support to fellow members who r suffering silently.

I've been on medication the past 6 yrs but my condition worsen the past 2 yrs.

I can't travel on public transport, can't go out with friends, cannot go on flights n sadly have to give up my high paying job all bcos of my constant panic attacks :blank

I've been hiding at home for almost a year now and still very reliant on a drug that is very addictive & losing its effect.

I don't know what to do, feeling demoralized & moping around everyday with no energy or mood to do anythg at all :no

Just hoping against hope that I can get back a life that is normal again & I wish everyone here the best too!

Don't give up!


----------



## fictionz

Hopingforamiracle said:


> Hi all
> 
> Checking for the first tm.
> 
> Hope to find some support n also provide support to fellow members who r suffering silently.
> 
> I've been on medication the past 6 yrs but my condition worsen the past 2 yrs.
> 
> I can't travel on public transport, can't go out with friends, cannot go on flights n sadly have to give up my high paying job all bcos of my constant panic attacks :blank
> 
> I've been hiding at home for almost a year now and still very reliant on a drug that is very addictive & losing its effect.
> 
> I don't know what to do, feeling demoralized & moping around everyday with no energy or mood to do anythg at all :no
> 
> Just hoping against hope that I can get back a life that is normal again & I wish everyone here the best too!
> 
> Don't give up!


Even at the most demoralized state, you can still find the strength. Don't give up! :yes


----------



## reliefseeker

Hopingforamiracle said:


> Hi all
> 
> Checking for the first tm.
> 
> Hope to find some support n also provide support to fellow members who r suffering silently.
> 
> I've been on medication the past 6 yrs but my condition worsen the past 2 yrs.
> 
> I can't travel on public transport, can't go out with friends, cannot go on flights n sadly have to give up my high paying job all bcos of my constant panic attacks :blank
> 
> I've been hiding at home for almost a year now and still very reliant on a drug that is very addictive & losing its effect.
> 
> I don't know what to do, feeling demoralized & moping around everyday with no energy or mood to do anythg at all :no
> 
> Just hoping against hope that I can get back a life that is normal again & I wish everyone here the best too!
> 
> Don't give up!


Wow how i wish im like u.. in positive spirits. Usually when im in that state, i would deem myself useless, inept, then shut off from everybody, and i wouldnt really have the energy or mood to post positive things.

Anyway r u on benzos?(xanax/lorazepam/diazepam, etc.) my pdoc put me on ativan 0.5mg 3 times a day and i can sense that its losing effect, though i dont follow his prescription orders and only take when necessary.

Personally i dont cope particularly well with panic or anxiety attacks, but i find that certain mindfulness behavior helps a bit, especially simple ones like chewing sweets or gums. 
i do also get bad nagging social anxieties and panic attacks out of the blue such that i hv to make adjustments to my life in order to survive, now i only focus on living a simple life without much expectations because its hard enough to manage the stress that comes out from this disorder, let alone living up to the kind of expectations society placed upon me.


----------



## Hopingforamiracle

tensedboy said:


> Wow how i wish im like u.. in positive spirits. Usually when im in that state, i would deem myself useless, inept, then shut off from everybody, and i wouldnt really have the energy or mood to post positive things.
> 
> Anyway r u on benzos?(xanax/lorazepam/diazepam, etc.) my pdoc put me on ativan 0.5mg 3 times a day and i can sense that its losing effect, though i dont follow his prescription orders and only take when necessary.
> 
> Personally i dont cope particularly well with panic or anxiety attacks, but i find that certain mindfulness behavior helps a bit, especially simple ones like chewing sweets or gums.
> i do also get bad nagging social anxieties and panic attacks out of the blue such that i hv to make adjustments to my life in order to survive, now i only focus on living a simple life without much expectations because its hard enough to manage the stress that comes out from this disorder, let alone living up to the kind of expectations society placed upon me.


I posted while I was under the effects of 0.5mg clonazepam, hence I sounded a bit more positive. Haha

I totally feel you. Most of the time I'm fighting with the effects of anxiety n the thoughts of an oncoming panic attack.

I have to take my med everyday n on some days it just don't work as well as it should. I'm feeling useless everyday cause I'm not working & have nothing to look forward too.

I've also tried 6 other meds to help me get off clonazepam, but all attempts failed due to the side effects.

So I have to basically beg for clonazepam whenever I see the doc, haiz

I hate to feel lifeless & miserable when I try not to take it, and hate myself when I surrender & take it.

Even walking to a nearby park is unbearable without my med, on bad days I even take a triple dosage :no

On the other hand, I still hope to recover slightly someday so that I can go back to work.

Let's stay positive and keep on searching for ways to make us feel better!

Hv u tried taking vitamin B12? I heard it helps, I take it ard thrice a week.

U must also exercise at least 20 mins everyday 

Don't give up!


----------



## Hopingforamiracle

fictionz said:


> Even at the most demoralized state, you can still find the strength. Don't give up! :yes


Yah, we can't give up yet.

We must fight & win this battle somehow, someday...


----------



## Kody123

Hopingforamiracle said:


> Hv u tried taking vitamin B12? I heard it helps, I take it ard thrice a week.
> 
> U must also exercise at least 20 mins everyday
> 
> Don't give up!


I take vit b everyday (dunno how effective, feel the same lol). Exercise is also important, tho i've been slacking this week.

And ya don't give up .


----------



## Hopingforamiracle

Kody123 said:


> I take vit b everyday (dunno how effective, feel the same lol). Exercise is also important, tho i've been slacking this week.
> 
> And ya don't give up .


Yah I don't feel any diff taking Vit b either, mb dosage too low?

I haven't been exercising too... Having slight chest pains these days so only light walking 15 mins a day


----------



## kevinkarnia

Is anyone here prescribed with xanax?


----------



## Hopingforamiracle

kevinkarnia said:


> Is anyone here prescribed with xanax?


I took Xanax for a while b4 switching to clonazepam

U r having some issues with this med?


----------



## kevinkarnia

Hi, I just came to singapore from Australia. And my medication got seized by the custom because I didn't have my doctor's prescription. Is there a doctor in Singapore I can see to get my medication? I have been feeling the worst the last two days without it. And I have to be in Singapore for the next one month for business. I have no idea how I'm going to survive the next few weeks


----------



## Kody123

kevinkarnia said:


> Hi, I just came to singapore from Australia. And my medication got seized by the custom because I didn't have my doctor's prescription. Is there a doctor in Singapore I can see to get my medication? I have been feeling the worst the last two days without it. And I have to be in Singapore for the next one month for business. I have no idea how I'm going to survive the next few weeks


You'll have to see a private psychiatrist for a quick prescription I think. Going through IMH will be too long.


----------



## kevinkarnia

Am I able to get it through a general prac?


----------



## Kody123

kevinkarnia said:


> Am I able to get it through a general prac?


I think you may be able to get it from a gp, yeah.


----------



## kevinkarnia

ISorry this side avail to send private msg?


----------



## kevinkarnia

Hi, does this app have private chat system? I wanna ask some personal questions


----------



## Hopingforamiracle

Hi Kevin

My go prescribes Xanax but not clonazepam.

U may want to try & ask more clinics.

In the worst case scenario, go to hospital a&e to see a doctor & u shld get it.


----------



## SuperNova96

Hi all!

I'm a poly student, aged 19 and like many of you guys here, i am suffering from SAD. I've taken steps such as making small talks and others, but it has proven not to be effective. So just to ask, is there other ways that i can improve from SAD?


----------



## kevinkarnia

Hopingforamiracle said:


> Hi Kevin
> 
> My go prescribes Xanax but not clonazepam.
> 
> U may want to try & ask more clinics.
> 
> In the worst case scenario, go to hospital a&e to see a doctor & u shld get it.


May I ask which clinic? And what's the estimated cost for a visit without insurance?


----------



## joshuaho

Hi,

Anyone feels lonely here all the time?


----------



## fifthseason

SuperNova96 said:


> Hi all!
> 
> I'm a poly student, aged 19 and like many of you guys here, i am suffering from SAD. I've taken steps such as making small talks and others, but it has proven not to be effective. So just to ask, is there other ways that i can improve from SAD?


Have you tried joining any ccas? Join as many as you can since you are in poly. I realised socializing is like a muscle. You need to keep socializing as much as possible to keep it under control. Granted that there may be quite a few groups who reject you because you may appear different to them, you've got to keep trying to interact.

I realized that my SAD improved after managing to find at least one community that actually accepted me.

However, as friends come and go, you need to actively seek out new groups. Personally, I believe there is no way out of this.

Push on!


----------



## fifthseason

joshuaho said:


> Hi,
> 
> Anyone feels lonely here all the time?


Sure of course hahaa..

It's been almost 7 years since I opened this thread lol. wow. 11 pages!


----------



## fifthseason

Those whom are interested in forming a WA group, please PM me your number, tyvm.


----------



## reliefseeker

joshuaho said:


> Hi,
> 
> Anyone feels lonely here all the time?


Hi, i spend most of the time by myself even when family is around, solitude forms a bulk of my life and i enjoy it although i still feel lonely and crave for company at times.


----------



## reliefseeker

fifthseason said:


> Sure of course hahaa..
> 
> It's been almost 7 years since I opened this thread lol. wow. 11 pages!


Wow threadstarter is finally back. Ever since u started this thread, it has been up and running for about half a decade, and its still one of the most active threads in this section. I'd like to join your group if theres one.


----------



## sleepingcat

hi im also from singapore, enlisting to ns in a few more months... we should create a whatsapp group to talk more easily


----------



## mojh

how do you all deal with those period when you absolutely feel like crap/incompetent compared to the people around you?
i don't know how to deal w this and it's damn upsetting


----------



## nkk960

mojh said:


> how do you all deal with those period when you absolutely feel like crap/incompetent compared to the people around you?
> i don't know how to deal w this and it's damn upsetting


Hm, I've been wondering about the same issue lately. "It's all in your head" or "Build some self-confidence". That's the standard response I tend to receive and I have to somewhat agree with them in a way. I can't come up with a solution but I understand that challenging negative thoughts isn't that easy as what they make out to be. :no


----------



## sleepingcat

anyone here manage to get a job? 
had social anxiety since borned and couldnt handle social situations at school ite and quitted, been jobless for 2 years ever since and not yet enlisted to ns too.. tried to work but it seems quiet people arent really welcomed by my colleagues and had to quit in a day... what job should i look for in sg if i have sad? 20 years old btw...


----------



## Dadforlife

HI all,

I am facing the exact same issues as you guys. I would like to make more friends facing the same situation for support. Do PM me, thx


----------



## Bluemoon89

Hey guys..im 26 years old and just recently realised i do have social anxiety..its getting worse and i although i enjoy being alone but it does get lonely and i wanna stop the rot..same like some of u i cant stay for a job for long and have not had a proper job..anyway hope to make some friends here to share our problems..im actually a funny and easy going person..im not quite sure how i ended up like this..hope to hear from u guys though..cheers and cheer up in the meantime


----------



## yonanz

Hello all

new to forum here. Anyone with generalised anxiety disorder, or anyone knows of any GAD support group/forum? Would like to meet up!


----------



## Kaelern

Heys all.

The first time i posted in this thread was back in 2012 and now I'm back again haha. Am wondering if anyone is still active in this thread?

Reading all of the replies to this thread I would say my SA is not as severe, I can still function day to day - keep up a full time job, have a social life etc.
My SA only manifests at certain situations in forms of panic attacks - maybe when travelling in a train or bus alone, when having to present to a crowd, when seeing someone of higher authority in my co etc. I tend to blush very very easily and it doesnt help that my complexion is fair. So when the attacks come on I will blush profusely and it will spread from my face to my neck and my heart palpation gets unbearable.

Anyway I decided to step out this month. Told my bestie, my partner (of 8 years) and mum that I have SA. It wasnt easy for me cause i kept all of these feelings to myself thinking people would judge if they knew how I felt or reacted to certain situations. I also booked myself an appt at the pyschiatrist. He has prescribed me an antidepressant. But my qn to you guys would be - is it necessary to be medicated? Even if I feel I could pass by day to day without needed medication before. My next appt is a month later which of course I will check with the doc again but I def would prefer natural ways to go about overcoming SA like - cbt .

Also for anyone who needs to chat or would like to share about anything feel free to PM me.


----------



## dontunderstand

Hello , i just joined SA as i often find myself isolated and having sad thoughts. I find it comforting to know that there is a support group in singapore. Can i join?


----------



## reliefseeker

dontunderstand said:


> Hello , i just joined SA as i often find myself isolated and having sad thoughts. I find it comforting to know that there is a support group in singapore. Can i join?


Hi, you're not alone here, having negative thoughts is something i deal with everyday so i can roughly understand what its like. 
Sometimes its good to have people around which is why I joined the meetups like this SA meetup group http://www.meetup.com/socialanxietydepressionsupport/
You can find me as Jeffery there.

I'm starting my first full time work in less than two days time, not sure what to make of that one, there is alot of doubt in my mind on whether i can settle in the job, or will i crumble. The latter is quite likely to happen because I dont pick up knowledge fast enough and I tend to screw things up very often, I even thought of myself as autistic because somehow I cant absorb things that are supposed to be simple. Idk.


----------



## verytheninja

Hi guys. Currently serving the nation and i feel that my anxiety in certain situations is causing me tons of friction between my superiors. I feel that there is zero support at where im working and everyday is a torture. Glad that there is a grp here for support.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## elfen

hello. I am in my early 30s. Would love to know Singaporeans in the same age range who possibly have to juggle career, self development, supporting parents, starting own family, and to face colleagues and superiors on a daily basis. My emotional scale can range from -10 to 10 in a single day. Like Riley I am also capable of having zero emotion and desire. I have a certain stumbling block that makes me trip over myself one time too many. and a habit of isolating myself from the others. I believe in whatever you think will come true, will come true - especially in one's own weaknesses. however i'm often too weak to overcome the belief in my weaknesses. I exude loneliness, but if loneliness fills me then i'm not empty. I like logical debate but my brain will be paralyzed with self-paralyzing thoughts midway. Too many I. Hoping anyone else who has similar struggles will care enough for typing conversations, do leave a note here.


----------



## hwelyn

Hello! I am from Singapore and have been dealing with social phobia for about 5 years. I have finally seek advice and decided to find a support group! Hope we can talk and share out experiences here. Hope to hear from anyone soon!


----------



## samuel89

hi, i need support group, please drop me a whatsapp to join


----------



## Trancequillity

Kaelern said:


> Heys all.
> 
> The first time i posted in this thread was back in 2012 and now I'm back again haha. Am wondering if anyone is still active in this thread?
> 
> Reading all of the replies to this thread I would say my SA is not as severe, I can still function day to day - keep up a full time job, have a social life etc.
> My SA only manifests at certain situations in forms of panic attacks - maybe when travelling in a train or bus alone, when having to present to a crowd, when seeing someone of higher authority in my co etc. I tend to blush very very easily and it doesnt help that my complexion is fair. So when the attacks come on I will blush profusely and it will spread from my face to my neck and my heart palpation gets unbearable.
> 
> Anyway I decided to step out this month. Told my bestie, my partner (of 8 years) and mum that I have SA. It wasnt easy for me cause i kept all of these feelings to myself thinking people would judge if they knew how I felt or reacted to certain situations. I also booked myself an appt at the pyschiatrist. He has prescribed me an antidepressant. But my qn to you guys would be - is it necessary to be medicated? Even if I feel I could pass by day to day without needed medication before. My next appt is a month later which of course I will check with the doc again but I def would prefer natural ways to go about overcoming SA like - cbt .
> 
> Also for anyone who needs to chat or would like to share about anything feel free to PM me.


Hi,

What medication you were prescribed and how old are you?

I am in your same situation, not as critical SA, but just lacking that extra confidence to move to next level.


----------



## reliefseeker

Hey all long time no see.. Anybody struggling with SA and depression? I have been dealing with horrible anxiety in social situations and depression to some extent. In fact a week ago i couldnt cope well at work so i overdosed myself with diazepam while locking myself in the washroom at my workplace. My job ended since then. Hope everyone is doing well.

I am currently running a mini SA/dep whatsapp support chatgroup, if anyone wants to join, please PM me thanks
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## foxtrotnh

Hi Jeffrey, I hope you're okay. Just to let you know, youre not alone. 

I'll add you up on whatsapp soon. Cheers.


----------



## cookiegurl

Hello i am new here. Glad to know that there's a sg group here 
Is there anyone who feels like killing themselves when they made a mistake in front of others?

I am a poly student and currently having internship, and was assigned by my supervisor to sit at the reception to help out. Every time when there's a client walks in or the reception phone rings, i will get scared and sometimes will rush to the toilet to hide and cry.

I couldn't cope with it any more and do not have the courage to go and seek help myself. And when i told my mum about it, she scolded me for thinking too much...


----------



## reliefseeker

cookiegurl said:


> Hello i am new here. Glad to know that there's a sg group here
> Is there anyone who feels like killing themselves when they made a mistake in front of others?
> 
> I am a poly student and currently having internship, and was assigned by my supervisor to sit at the reception to help out. Every time when there's a client walks in or the reception phone rings, i will get scared and sometimes will rush to the toilet to hide and cry.
> 
> I couldn't cope with it any more and do not have the courage to go and seek help myself. And when i told my mum about it, she scolded me for thinking too much...


Me, I cant imgine the consequences of being shouted and scolded afterwards when i make a mistake. And what you described kinda sounds like me too. I get easily scared if i have to deal with strangers, its the reason why i avoid jobs that have to do with customer service in the first place


----------



## reliefseeker

foxtrotnh said:


> Hi Jeffrey, I hope you're okay. Just to let you know, youre not alone.
> 
> I'll add you up on whatsapp soon. Cheers.


Hi, i'm ok, thanks ya. Looking forward to chat with you soon


----------



## foxtrotnh

cookiegurl said:


> Hello i am new here. Glad to know that there's a sg group here
> Is there anyone who feels like killing themselves when they made a mistake in front of others?
> 
> I am a poly student and currently having internship, and was assigned by my supervisor to sit at the reception to help out. Every time when there's a client walks in or the reception phone rings, i will get scared and sometimes will rush to the toilet to hide and cry.
> 
> I couldn't cope with it any more and do not have the courage to go and seek help myself. And when i told my mum about it, she scolded me for thinking too much...


I know how that feels... I hated being around people. It made me really scared. I self harmed because of that.

As much as you can, try not too take it too harshly on yourself. You're an intern and it's alright to make mistakes like this as you are still learning.

My mum was the same too/ My family didnt take me seriously when I was having problems in school. Low mood, frequent truancy, really bad grades, lack of social life etc.

I mustered the courage to go the polyclinic to seek a referral to IMH. And I've been on the road to recovery since.

If you feel you need psychiatric help, go to the polyclinic and ask for a referral to IMH.


----------



## samhcounselor

*Social Anxiety Group Therapy Program by SAMH*

Dear All,

We are two counselors from Singapore Association for Mental Health who frequently work with clients with social anxiety. We are conducting another run of our group therapy program. Please see below for more info and do contact us thorough the email/phone if you'd like to join (don't message us here as I might not check this site very often).

About Us
Singapore Association for Mental Health (SAMH) is a non-profit organization promoting mental wellness and providing services in the community for individuals experiencing mental health issues and their caregivers. 
www.samhealth.org.sg

About the Program
•	An 8-session group therapy program aimed for individuals dealing with social anxiety (SA) who would like to learn more about it and methods of working on the issue
•	Facilitated by two counselors from SAMH, The program would draw on selected methods from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). 
•	The program will be conducted fortnightly on Tuesday evenings at SAMH Insight Centre, 139 Potong Pasir Ave 3 #01-136, S(350139). 
•	Fees is by donation only

Session No.	Date & Timing
Topic
1	12 January 2016, 7-9pm	
Introduction to the program and group
General psychoeducation on Social Anxiety (symptoms, origins, what keeps it going)

2	26 January, 7-9pm	
Identifying values and goals
Relaxation & mindfulness techniques for coping with anxiety symptoms

3	16 February, 7-9pm	
The role of thoughts in social anxiety
Introduction to cognitive therapy

4	1 March, 7-9pm	
Challenging and changing thoughts

5	15 March, 7-9pm	
Changing behaviors: Letting go of safety behaviors and avoidance

6	29 March, 7-9pm	
Bringing it all together: The whole approach
The path to recovery

7	12 April, 7-9pm	
Addressing common issues in socializing

8	26 April, 7-9pm	
Review and general discussion

Participants' Requirements
•	Must have been dealing with social anxiety symptoms
•	Able to commit to attend the entire program, or at least all the core sessions (Sessions 1-6)
•	Attend a face-to-face interview to ascertain suitability in joining this program
•	As this is an active behavioral approach, participants need to be willing to undertake 'homework' such as readings and carry out activities to practice skills outside the sessions

If you are interested to join the group, please contact Natalia or Valentina at 62831576 by 7 January at the latest. You can also email us at [email protected] or [email protected].


----------



## Watching

*DisneyLand with a Death Penalty*

Singapore huh? William Gibson got all the reasons right for that place.

http://archive.wired.com/wired/archive/1.04/gibson_pr.html

Singapore is a relentlessly G-rated experience, micromanaged by a state that has the look and feel of a very large corporation. If IBM had ever bothered to actually possess a physical country, that country might have had a lot in common with Singapore. There's a certain white-shirted constraint, an absolute humorlessness in the way Singapore Ltd. operates; conformity here is the prime directive, and the fuzzier brands of creativity are in extremely short supply.


 _The physical past here has almost entirely vanished._

 There is no slack in Singapore. Imagine an Asian version of Zurich operating as an offshore capsule at the foot of Malaysia; an affluent microcosm whose citizens inhabit something that feels like, well, Disneyland. Disneyland with the death penalty. 


Not exactly the best environment for developing mental health.


----------



## Kaelern

Trancequillity said:


> Hi,
> 
> What medication you were prescribed and how old are you?
> 
> I am in your same situation, not as critical SA, but just lacking that extra confidence to move to next level.


Hi Trancequillity, sorry for the late reply. I haven't been on this forum for quite awhile. I am actually on Lexapro 5mg. However I have stopped taking it after the 1st week as my body was not reacting well to it. I became really fatigue and it was hard for me to function. I even had to call in sick one of the days as I just could not get up from bed and I even slept through the day.

End of the day I decided that not depending on Meds would be the best choice as after all it all boils down to your will and mind power.  I find that talking to myself and running logical thoughts in my head helps alot.

Instead now i only depend on Activan - I take this when I need to go into a stressful situation. For e.g if my ceo suddenly calls for a meeting etc. So far I have only taken it twice from my first consultation with my Psychiatrist back in Aug (haven't been back for second appt). Other times I try to will myself not to take it or I somehow try to convince myself that I have taken it hence I am ok and I will be ok , bite my teeth and get it over and done with.

With practice and each time you succeed.. it brings confidence. Right now I am happy to say I am back to before when my SA is at its lowest.. If you would like someone to chat with or need some encouragement, I am happy to share more.. do PM me. Cheers.


----------



## Daylight

I'm not in Singapore but living a few hours away in Bangkok.


----------



## reliefseeker

Happy new year everyone


----------



## reliefseeker

Hi all, if anyone wants to be added into the whatsapp chatgroup, u may PM me for my number, stating ur name and ur issues. Have a good day!


----------



## MrGreen1412

Hi 26 year old Dude here looking for support groups to share and talk to others who have anxiety issues like i do. Recently gf left. and feels like a void is missing and i get jumpy and restless and dunno whut to do at time. Is there any whatsapp group i can join like maybe SG ones? Thanks in advance would love to talk it out with others like me.


----------



## ispoon

i am 37 from singapore, feeling down due to bad debt ( can't tell wife and other family member) and going to be jobless in 2 weeks time, tried taking 40+ gliclazide and 50 metfomin (have diabetes so easy to get these) but sadly didn't die.. survey a few location to jump as well, but today found carbon monoxide seem a better way, with 1% ppm can die within 10-15 sec and painless it seem.

really tired of all these, today have been a relax day for me, planning on monday night to do it. still thinking what to write on will and a final farewell to everyone i know. already given away most of my stuff.


----------



## ispoon

have brought 3kg of charcoal earlier and few can of beer for the last moment. don't know if thats enough or not.


----------



## reliefseeker

ispoon said:


> have brought 3kg of charcoal earlier and few can of beer for the last moment. don't know if thats enough or not.


Hey Ispoon, its not the end of world yet, i understand how hard it is with your debts and all, but the situation is definitely not hopeless, u can still find other jobs to reverse the situation bit by bit. Your family still needs u, dont end ur life, if anything u can talk it out with me or with our support chatgroup at whatsapp where there r also people like u facing similar difficulties. hang on there, i'm sure the situation will improve


----------



## reliefseeker

Ipsoon, if u r still here, pls update.


----------



## ispoon

tensedboy said:


> Ipsoon, if u r still here, pls update.


still around, since next week is my last day of work and last salary will get more beer and another 3kg of charcoal.

debt, my current salary can clearly it off, not easily but just need sometime, but jobless in a few days time means i have no way to clear it.

my insurance, hbd, cpf, etc will be more than enough to cover all the debt with surplus after i am gone.

and doubt anyone will miss me, i got in ITE, parent say i useless, wife say i useless, coz i don't have degree but i start doing part time degree now... bring home close to 5k on my main job, up to 2k on part time ad hoc job still classify as useless? ok think i really useless can roll to debt even with such pay... school fee also coming soon, can't even continue now but well don't need to now.


----------



## reliefseeker

ispoon said:


> still around, since next week is my last day of work and last salary will get more beer and another 3kg of charcoal.
> 
> debt, my current salary can clearly it off, not easily but just need sometime, but jobless in a few days time means i have no way to clear it.
> 
> my insurance, hbd, cpf, etc will be more than enough to cover all the debt with surplus after i am gone.
> 
> and doubt anyone will miss me, i got in ITE, parent say i useless, wife say i useless, coz i don't have degree but i start doing part time degree now... bring home close to 5k on my main job, up to 2k on part time ad hoc job still classify as useless? ok think i really useless can roll to debt even with such pay... school fee also coming soon, can't even continue now but well don't need to now.


U are definitely not useless, considering the fact that you are making efforts to clear off the debt shows it, u even work part time job and degree at the same time.. that's something i would find difficult to do myself.

I once got into ITE before, it was a difficult period in life, I had trouble facing everyone, but somehow i still manage to tide it through and graduate into poly which was another tough period for me, and i somehow.... survived. After that, I worked my first full time job with an average poly pay, still.. everyone else is earning a lot more than me. 
And this is the only job that I am currently relying on and be able to cope so far, if I quit or get fired, I dont think I can find another one that suits me.

I know ur situation might seem very bleak to you now, but it can be improved, you can still prove all your doubters wrong if you keep going, try to spend ur remaining time look through the job sites like jobstreet, jobsdb, jobscentral, see which one fits you, 
As lousy and horrible as I'm feeling now, this is the encouragement i can give you. Try to keep going as much as possible, you made it so far now, its not gotten to an irreversible point yet. What kind of debts are u dealing with btw?


----------



## Buckyball

ispoon said:


> still around, since next week is my last day of work and last salary will get more beer and another 3kg of charcoal.
> 
> debt, my current salary can clearly it off, not easily but just need sometime, but jobless in a few days time means i have no way to clear it.
> 
> my insurance, hbd, cpf, etc will be more than enough to cover all the debt with surplus after i am gone.
> 
> and doubt anyone will miss me, i got in ITE, parent say i useless, wife say i useless, coz i don't have degree but i start doing part time degree now... bring home close to 5k on my main job, up to 2k on part time ad hoc job still classify as useless? ok think i really useless can roll to debt even with such pay... school fee also coming soon, can't even continue now but well don't need to now.


Hi have you tried negotiating with your debtors or approach the credit counselling Singapore solution to find a solution at http://www.ccs.org.sg. Pls do not give up hope.

For your job search have you tried approaching the govt agencies like e2i and caliberlink for assistance. I am sure with your experience you will be able to find employment soon.

Pls keep in touch.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## StellaChen

ispoon said:


> still around, since next week is my last day of work and last salary will get more beer and another 3kg of charcoal.
> 
> debt, my current salary can clearly it off, not easily but just need sometime, but jobless in a few days time means i have no way to clear it.
> 
> my insurance, hbd, cpf, etc will be more than enough to cover all the debt with surplus after i am gone.
> 
> and doubt anyone will miss me, i got in ITE, parent say i useless, wife say i useless, coz i don't have degree but i start doing part time degree now... bring home close to 5k on my main job, up to 2k on part time ad hoc job still classify as useless? ok think i really useless can roll to debt even with such pay... school fee also coming soon, can't even continue now but well don't need to now.


Please, don't end your life. Things will work out. Your family is being harsh because they probably don't know how to deal with it.


----------



## reliefseeker

tensedboy said:


> Hi all, if anyone wants to be added into the whatsapp chatgroup, u may PM me for my number, stating ur name and ur issues. Have a good day!


Bring up the thread 

Hope more Singaporeans with issues can come forward to seek help and support, let your voice be heard here. :smile2:


----------



## WonderSotong

Hi tensedboy (not sure u know/remember who I am) and everyone else,

I'm back here again as I have recently started a new job and my anxiety is acting up again. Looking to just share stories and make new friends from here.


----------



## reliefseeker

WonderSotong said:


> Hi tensedboy (not sure u know/remember who I am) and everyone else,
> 
> I'm back here again as I have recently started a new job and my anxiety is acting up again. Looking to just share stories and make new friends from here.


Hey WonderSotong, haven't hear from u for quite a long while, i do wondered how have u been. 
Time really flies..Been 5 years since I got to know you and others.

Starting a new job can be difficult for people like us, especially when there are triggers and expectations to deal with.

It took me 4,5 months to fully adapt to my first current full-time job, and during that period, there are a lot of relapses, be it from anxiety working alongside with other colleagues, meeting deadlines, to fitting in, dealing with panic attacks, mood swings, physical symptoms. 
Its really an emotional struggle. Even till now, my triggers are still present despite taking medications. Maybe the only fortunate thing is that i don't have to deal with people as part of my job scope and the stable income that my job provides

Btw, what do you work as now? Do u have to deal with people? And what are the difficulties you encountered in the new job. Do feel free to share.


----------



## WonderSotong

tensedboy said:


> WonderSotong said:
> 
> 
> 
> Hi tensedboy (not sure u know/remember who I am) and everyone else,
> 
> I'm back here again as I have recently started a new job and my anxiety is acting up again. Looking to just share stories and make new friends from here.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Hey WonderSotong, haven't hear from u for quite a long while, i do wondered how have u been.
> Time really flies..Been 5 years since I got to know you and others.
> 
> Starting a new job can be difficult for people like us, especially when there are triggers and expectations to deal with.
> 
> It took me 4,5 months to fully adapt to my first current full-time job, and during that period, there are a lot of relapses, be it from anxiety working alongside with other colleagues, meeting deadlines, to fitting in, dealing with panic attacks, mood swings, physical symptoms.
> Its really an emotional struggle. Even till now, my triggers are still present despite taking medications. Maybe the only fortunate thing is that i don't have to deal with people as part of my job scope and the stable income that my job provides
> 
> Btw, what do you work as now? Do u have to deal with people? And what are the difficulties you encountered in the new job. Do feel free to share.
Click to expand...

Hi Jeff,

I was reading your recent posts and you seem to have a much better grip of your anxiety now. Very happy for you. 

I'm working in a media company still but now I am dealing with advertising.

Today is my fourth day. I'm having really bad anxiety with regards to lunch time. Basically, my department is made up of many girls and lunch time is always in a huge group. Until today I have avoided joining them by bringing my own food because I'm so afraid of being silent/saying something stupid at lunch. I promised I'd join them next week onwards so I Guess I have to face my fears then. Sigh.


----------



## WonderSotong

And yes I have to deal with people, a little more than my previous jobs.


----------



## reliefseeker

WonderSotong said:


> Hi Jeff,
> 
> I was reading your recent posts and you seem to have a much better grip of your anxiety now. Very happy for you.
> 
> I'm working in a media company still but now I am dealing with advertising.
> 
> Today is my fourth day. I'm having really bad anxiety with regards to lunch time. Basically, my department is made up of many girls and lunch time is always in a huge group. Until today I have avoided joining them by bringing my own food because I'm so afraid of being silent/saying something stupid at lunch. I promised I'd join them next week onwards so I Guess I have to face my fears then. Sigh.


Though in some aspects I might be better than I used to be, but there is still a lot more to work on when it comes to managing my triggers and physical symptoms. I still have to be on medication, thats for sure.. At the moment my pdoc hasn't decided the medication that works for me yet.

Lunching with colleagues can be quite pressurizing, esp when everyone else is joining and there is barely any way to back out of it without potentially leaving a negative impression on them.

I guess the best approach is to face those fears :/ 
If you find it hard to talk to them, you can choose to listen, pretend that you're interested in their conversations and try to go along with the flow. Thats 1 way of doing it..I'm no expert on this, its something that I need to work on as well, and i understand it can be very anxiety provoking to do it.

Last time while i was working in a different project, i have to deal with people too.. through phone calls, its one of my fears. I stuttered like hell and my anxiety is exposed to the people who heard it, can be very embarrassing, but over time in dealing with the fear, i start to get the hang of dealing with calls, although not coming close to the point of anxiety-free yet, I still managed to handle calls properly with a bit of composure. 
Its not easy for sure and it definitely takes practice.


----------



## WonderSotong

tensedboy said:


> WonderSotong said:
> 
> 
> 
> Hi Jeff,
> 
> I was reading your recent posts and you seem to have a much better grip of your anxiety now. Very happy for you.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'm working in a media company still but now I am dealing with advertising.
> 
> Today is my fourth day. I'm having really bad anxiety with regards to lunch time. Basically, my department is made up of many girls and lunch time is always in a huge group. Until today I have avoided joining them by bringing my own food because I'm so afraid of being silent/saying something stupid at lunch. I promised I'd join them next week onwards so I Guess I have to face my fears then. Sigh.
> 
> 
> 
> Though in some aspects I might be better than I used to be, but there is still a lot more to work on when it comes to managing my triggers and physical symptoms. I still have to be on medication, thats for sure.. At the moment my pdoc hasn't decided the medication that works for me yet.
> 
> Lunching with colleagues can be quite pressurizing, esp when everyone else is joining and there is barely any way to back out of it without potentially leaving a negative impression on them.
> 
> I guess the best approach is to face those fears :/
> If you find it hard to talk to them, you can choose to listen, pretend that you're interested in their conversations and try to go along with the flow. Thats 1 way of doing it..I'm no expert on this, its something that I need to work on as well, and i understand it can be very anxiety provoking to do it.
> 
> Last time while i was working in a different project, i have to deal with people too.. through phone calls, its one of my fears. I stuttered like hell and my anxiety is exposed to the people who heard it, can be very embarrassing, but over time in dealing with the fear, i start to get the hang of dealing with calls, although not coming close to the point of anxiety-free yet, I still managed to handle calls properly with a bit of composure.
> Its not easy for sure and it definitely takes practice.
Click to expand...

Yea facing our fears is the only way. As of now the anxiety is too much for me to handle. Too many of the girls are very intimidating for me. Hence I'm gonna get on medication Tio in the hopes that it will aid a little.


----------



## reliefseeker

WonderSotong said:


> Yea facing our fears is the only way. As of now the anxiety is too much for me to handle. Too many of the girls are very intimidating for me. Hence I'm gonna get on medication Tio in the hopes that it will aid a little.


Socializing with a group of people esp talkative ones can be overwhelming for anxiety, i can relate..not sure how else i can advise on this but hope things would work out and improve for u.


----------



## TheAnxiousGuyzzz

Hello everyone. Anyone if normal polyclinic can prescribe anti anxiety pills?


----------



## shemanic

*Enquiry!*

Hello, I am new here as well, I haven't been to the doc's to officially diagnose with this disorder but so far I went to do some research and I have close to 95% of all those symptoms. 
Recently my condition has been becoming slightly worse since I have a huge phobia of picking up phone calls in general which doesn't really help things. 
I am also worried that if people around me knows that I actually feel like this, I will end up being isolated/picked on/bullied again so I have been trying my best to hide everything within myself.
As for work places, am I supposed to be fully honest with the work employers or should I just keep mum?
I can't seem to take stress well so it is only making things worse for me..
Anyone who has any good recommendations for medication (preferably those I can get from a pharmacy?) and also steps that I should take (like which hospital to get diagnosed and also I believe that there are other options)?

Any advice will be greatly appreciated! :frown2:


----------



## lemundrops

Hi, new here, 19y/o currently studying in her last year of poly. 

Just wanted to ask and learn more about SAD. I never visited the doctor, hence, im not clinically diagnosed with it.

If anyone here is very knowledgeable about this topic that they can maybe just talk to me about my current problem and just reassure me if there is or is not something wrong with me? Pls PM me.


----------



## reliefseeker

shemanic said:


> Hello, I am new here as well, I haven't been to the doc's to officially diagnose with this disorder but so far I went to do some research and I have close to 95% of all those symptoms.
> Recently my condition has been becoming slightly worse since I have a huge phobia of picking up phone calls in general which doesn't really help things.
> I am also worried that if people around me knows that I actually feel like this, I will end up being isolated/picked on/bullied again so I have been trying my best to hide everything within myself.
> As for work places, am I supposed to be fully honest with the work employers or should I just keep mum?
> I can't seem to take stress well so it is only making things worse for me..
> Anyone who has any good recommendations for medication (preferably those I can get from a pharmacy?) and also steps that I should take (like which hospital to get diagnosed and also I believe that there are other options)?
> 
> Any advice will be greatly appreciated! :frown2:


Hi, sorry to hear about your suffering. Social phobia if left untreated, can affect your daily functioning and may even cause depression. i'm not sure how severe your symptoms are but maybe u would like to see a counselor for a better opinion first, can try Shanyou, SOS, SAMH, Carecorner, for instance. 
For me i sought professional help through getting a referral from polyclinic dr to see a psychiatrist at IMH, so far i'm on 30mg Mirtazapine, 10 mg Vortioxetine and 10mg Zyprexa, those are antidepressants n antipsychotics. I'm also seeing a psychologist there. Still a work in progress though.
As for employment, i wouldnt reccomend u to reveal your issues coz of the possible stigma. But dont be afraid to seek help. Hang on there. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## reliefseeker

For those comfortable with communicating in whatsapp and want to seek peer support with a chatgroup, you may PM me for my number
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## AFoundLady

Oh, wow. Fellow Singaporean here. Hey guys. I guess social anxiety is not as widely recognized here...and I've never seen a psychologist before. I did visit a school counselor back in secondary school, but it was totally a crappy experience. Great to see you guys talking about it.


----------



## reliefseeker

SaltnSweet said:


> Oh, wow. Fellow Singaporean here. Hey guys. I guess social anxiety is not as widely recognized here...and I've never seen a psychologist before. I did visit a school counselor back in secondary school, but it was totally a crappy experience. Great to see you guys talking about it.


Hi SaltnSweet  nice to see a fellow sgporean posting actively here. I believe there are alot of people with social anxiety issues, just that they arent aware or afraid to seek help coz of the stigma. I had symptoms that pulled me down for years before i muster the courage to seek help. It definitely isnt a plesant experience to mask your symptoms in front of all the normal people out there too. How r u coping btw?


----------



## nolifeskr

finally ive found some people similar to myself. really need some help with life. could i join u guys?


----------



## 6465897

I sure miss Singapore. I used to go there to see my family. Not anymore because something changed and now I don't know how to act around them anymore. Its too difficult.


----------



## mt moyt

hi guys


----------



## reliefseeker

Anyone here managed to attend an event from the SA meetup group yet? And how do u find it?


----------



## mt moyt

is there still a singapore group going on?


----------



## reliefseeker

mt moyt said:


> is there still a singapore group going on?


Yes, 
http://www.meetup.com/socialanxietydepressionsupport/


----------



## Inescapable

Hi there, I've been following this thread for a while and finally mustered the courage to post. I believe I've been suffering from SAD though I've not really been clinically diagnosed by a doctor. I've come to a point where I don't really know what to do with my life and I only see a bleak future for myself. It's been a long time since I graduated from a foreign university but I've not settled on a full-time job due to my anxiety since. I once landed a full time job which was also my first, but it did not last long because I was so anxious that I could not sleep and eat properly. I was also clueless about my job yet so afraid of approaching others for help. Soon I turned in my resignation because I didn't want to get fired for getting nothing done. I feel so stupid and useless. I took on simple jobs like promoter, data entry and fast food jobs after that to build my confidence but to no avail. I've been staying home for a long time that it's getting more difficult to step out of my house, to pick up phone calls, to face my relatives and meet up with my friends. I know I can't hide forever but I'm just so afraid. And I'm not young anymore. :'(


----------



## reliefseeker

Inescapable said:


> Hi there, I've been following this thread for a while and finally mustered the courage to post. I believe I've been suffering from SAD though I've not really been clinically diagnosed by a doctor. I've come to a point where I don't really know what to do with my life and I only see a bleak future for myself. It's been a long time since I graduated from a foreign university but I've not settled on a full-time job due to my anxiety since. I once landed a full time job which was also my first, but it did not last long because I was so anxious that I could not sleep and eat properly. I was also clueless about my job yet so afraid of approaching others for help. Soon I turned in my resignation because I didn't want to get fired for getting nothing done. I feel so stupid and useless. I took on simple jobs like promoter, data entry and fast food jobs after that to build my confidence but to no avail. I've been staying home for a long time that it's getting more difficult to step out of my house, to pick up phone calls, to face my relatives and meet up with my friends. I know I can't hide forever but I'm just so afraid. And I'm not young anymore. :'(


Sounds like a difficult situation you're facing. I believe i have issues similar to yours before, it was chaotic back then, be it in school or home. SAD can be very debilitating and extremely difficult to cure, but it can be managed.

Have u considered therapy? And if you want, we can practice social exposure, although i'm not sure how comfortable you are to try. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk, i'm here almost everyday.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Inescapable

tensedboy said:


> Sounds like a difficult situation you're facing. I believe i have issues similar to yours before, it was chaotic back then, be it in school or home. SAD can be very debilitating and extremely difficult to cure, but it can be managed.
> 
> Have u considered therapy? And if you want, we can practice social exposure, although i'm not sure how comfortable you are to try. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk, i'm here almost everyday.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hi tensedboy,

I'll like to talk, maybe not in person for now. I shall PM you. Thanks for offering to listen.


----------



## mt moyt

tensedboy said:


> Yes,
> http://www.meetup.com/socialanxietydepressionsupport/


thanks!


----------



## deadworth

Hi guys, I'm new here. Going by the number of replies in this thread, I find some comfort in knowing that I'm not some rare oddity facing the issues that I do, because sometimes it certainly feels that way. I've been having a rather bad spell lately, so I hope it's okay I rant a little here.

I've always had a hard time making real friends since I was young. I was rather quiet as a kid and picking up social skills at that age for me was a little difficult. My parents weren't the best role models because they didn't really socialise. My older brother and the other kids in my block would find fun in picking on me because I was the youngest. But in spite of all this, the blind optimism that I had as a kid fuelled my drive to make friends. I constantly told myself that things would get better even with my "awkward" ways, and all I had to do was try. This optimism was the basis for my confidence. And try was what I did for years to no avail, but still, try I did.

But there came a certain period of time in my life where the confidence and optimism I had was utterly shattered. Due to a poor educational choice and subsequently bad results, my parents gave me hell on earth for it. During those years, my father constantly reminded me how useless and what a failure I was. My mom never said anything along those lines, but her silence to his words and her many disappointed looks gave her away. For someone without many/any "quality" friends, having my parents treat me like that was honestly... incredibly hurtful.

These feelings of inadequacy have plagued me since then and it's really not helping my Uni life. I'm finding this very difficult to overcome. Previously, despite my awkwardness and lack of social skills, I somehow managed excel at presentations and debates. Now whenever I have to speak, my mind totally goes blank, I forgot whatever I wanted to say and end up speaking gibberish on auto-pilot. Unfortunately, the nature of Uni is such that I constantly find myself in situations like this, having to talk to people I'm not totally comfortable with or speaking up in class (doesn't help that I'm doing an Arts degree). My emotions are a mess and even when I make the effort to try befriending people, for some reason I end up pushing people away instead, perhaps due to the vibes I give out. On particularly bad days, I even feel my hands shaking whenever I feel like someone is watching me. Of late, this fear of screwing up social situations even has me choosing to miss out gatherings with old "friends", such that some accuse me of "ostracising" them now.

At the time when a person's social life is supposed to peak, when I'm seeing the people all around me making so many new friends and enjoying their lives, I'm finding myself all alone in Uni. I can't help feeling envious and depressed. It's even worse then in pri/sec school because at least back then, having home classes meant I would be around a constant group of people, and my athleticism afforded me some "value/statue" which helped me to win over some "friends" I could hang out with while I at school. But Uni is so much more socially demanding and challenging and I'm finding myself really lacking.

It doesn't help that I've don't crave social interaction as much as the average person (be it by nature or nurture). I don't enjoy small talk (maybe because I suck at it). Or that I would rather talk about "boring" or serious topics (tell me random facts any day). I'm different, and I'm not ashamed of it, but it puts me at a certain level of disconnect from just about anyone.

I've tried putting myself in situations where I'm forced in socialise. Tried being more outgoing. Tried rationalising why I really shouldn't be afraid of people judging me (where I think my anxiety stems from). Stopped trying to live my life for the approval of my parents and others. Tried all these thing and more, but nothing seems to have a lasting impact.

It just really dawned on me last night that I've been telling myself that things would be getting better all my life and the fact is, nothing has changed for the better. Things have only gotten worse. And that realisation really scares me. Not just for the possibility that I might live my entire life like this. But more so that for the first time in my life, I actually really considered if my life is worth living. It wasn't even an "emotional" thing. It was just a cold, calculated consideration and it really shocked me that I would even think like that. I hate feeling weak or helpless and I despise the notion of giving up, but I find myself on the last verges of optimism. I just feel like giving up on trying to make things better (not giving up on my life).

I want to say again that no, I'm not feeling suicidal, nor am I even considering carrying out the act of suicide. I reckon there is still some optimism in me, for I'm giving this a community a try. I'm terribly sorry for this absurdly long rant and I hope I'll get around to talking to some of you guys soon.

Take care, and I hope you guys have better days ahead.
=)


----------



## theashtree

Hi deadworth,

Thanks for sharing your experiences. I do think it's very brave that you choose to do so. Just like to let you know you are not alone - there are also people who undergo the same feelings and experiences as you do. It can seem a long long journey and struggle sometimes, but don't give up. Hope that each day will be better for you.

Take care.


----------



## greentealattee

deadworth said:


> Hi guys, I'm new here. Going by the number of replies in this thread, I find some comfort in knowing that I'm not some rare oddity facing the issues that I do, because sometimes it certainly feels that way. I've been having a rather bad spell lately, so I hope it's okay I rant a little here.
> 
> I've always had a hard time making real friends since I was young. I was rather quiet as a kid and picking up social skills at that age for me was a little difficult. My parents weren't the best role models because they didn't really socialise. My older brother and the other kids in my block would find fun in picking on me because I was the youngest. But in spite of all this, the blind optimism that I had as a kid fuelled my drive to make friends. I constantly told myself that things would get better even with my "awkward" ways, and all I had to do was try. This optimism was the basis for my confidence. And try was what I did for years to no avail, but still, try I did.
> 
> But there came a certain period of time in my life where the confidence and optimism I had was utterly shattered. Due to a poor educational choice and subsequently bad results, my parents gave me hell on earth for it. During those years, my father constantly reminded me how useless and what a failure I was. My mom never said anything along those lines, but her silence to his words and her many disappointed looks gave her away. For someone without many/any "quality" friends, having my parents treat me like that was honestly... incredibly hurtful.
> 
> These feelings of inadequacy have plagued me since then and it's really not helping my Uni life. I'm finding this very difficult to overcome. Previously, despite my awkwardness and lack of social skills, I somehow managed excel at presentations and debates. Now whenever I have to speak, my mind totally goes blank, I forgot whatever I wanted to say and end up speaking gibberish on auto-pilot. Unfortunately, the nature of Uni is such that I constantly find myself in situations like this, having to talk to people I'm not totally comfortable with or speaking up in class (doesn't help that I'm doing an Arts degree). My emotions are a mess and even when I make the effort to try befriending people, for some reason I end up pushing people away instead, perhaps due to the vibes I give out. On particularly bad days, I even feel my hands shaking whenever I feel like someone is watching me. Of late, this fear of screwing up social situations even has me choosing to miss out gatherings with old "friends", such that some accuse me of "ostracising" them now.
> 
> At the time when a person's social life is supposed to peak, when I'm seeing the people all around me making so many new friends and enjoying their lives, I'm finding myself all alone in Uni. I can't help feeling envious and depressed. It's even worse then in pri/sec school because at least back then, having home classes meant I would be around a constant group of people, and my athleticism afforded me some "value/statue" which helped me to win over some "friends" I could hang out with while I at school. But Uni is so much more socially demanding and challenging and I'm finding myself really lacking.
> 
> It doesn't help that I've don't crave social interaction as much as the average person (be it by nature or nurture). I don't enjoy small talk (maybe because I suck at it). Or that I would rather talk about "boring" or serious topics (tell me random facts any day). I'm different, and I'm not ashamed of it, but it puts me at a certain level of disconnect from just about anyone.
> 
> I've tried putting myself in situations where I'm forced in socialise. Tried being more outgoing. Tried rationalising why I really shouldn't be afraid of people judging me (where I think my anxiety stems from). Stopped trying to live my life for the approval of my parents and others. Tried all these thing and more, but nothing seems to have a lasting impact.
> 
> It just really dawned on me last night that I've been telling myself that things would be getting better all my life and the fact is, nothing has changed for the better. Things have only gotten worse. And that realisation really scares me. Not just for the possibility that I might live my entire life like this. But more so that for the first time in my life, I actually really considered if my life is worth living. It wasn't even an "emotional" thing. It was just a cold, calculated consideration and it really shocked me that I would even think like that. I hate feeling weak or helpless and I despise the notion of giving up, but I find myself on the last verges of optimism. I just feel like giving up on trying to make things better (not giving up on my life).
> 
> I want to say again that no, I'm not feeling suicidal, nor am I even considering carrying out the act of suicide. I reckon there is still some optimism in me, for I'm giving this a community a try. I'm terribly sorry for this absurdly long rant and I hope I'll get around to talking to some of you guys soon.
> 
> Take care, and I hope you guys have better days ahead.
> =)


Hi deadworth, I read your post and found it so similar to what i'm going through now. I'm currently in uni now, and also in an arts faculty, and i'd say the experience of university is so tough for ppl with SA. It's so hard to make friends, and chances are, you'll have to take lots of initiative to join stuff and talk to people...and for someone as introverted, quiet, nervous as me, let's just say that I've had little success. 
I don't have an urge to socialise too much too (i guess it's a personality thing...and my family environment too), but i will always try to put myself out to join some 'activities' or 'outings' even though all these has just left me feeling so tired, so worn out, so hopeless, and so depressed.

I think SA has make me become a bitter person too. I see my few friends meeting new ppl in school and hanging out together and i can't help feeling upset and it makes me sort of want to distance myself from them. They don't know that i've SA and i always thought that by talking to them more, they'd realised how little i go out...and how little friends i have.

I feel so scared for the future because I don't want to live my life like this...university is a hellhole for me now and i can't imagine what happens next....

I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone....


----------



## solidarity3425

Hi greentealatte,

Just wanted to say that your post really resonated with me. I'm in uni too. Socially things were great at the beginning, but over the course of a long summer break, I returned to school to find that everybody had moved on. I didn't know how to deal with it, and it was just a slippery slope from then on... I also felt bitter, and distanced myself even more. My social circle dwindled till, now, it's just me. When this was actually happening, I felt very mentally destabilised. Now, as I've gotten use to this new social situation I'm in, i feel that things have stabilised somewhat. The feelings of inadequacy and self-consciousness are only on and off - they come in a wave, then leave, then come back again.

I'm currently in wave of good vibes, and so I just wanted to share some optimistic thoughts.

One thought that helps me is knowing that quite a few people out there also get by with relatively few friends, and this seems to be true as we grow older. The difference between me and those people is not the number of friends (or even the ability to make friends), but rather how secure I feel with the few friendships that I have. Instead of feeling envious and blaming myself for losing friends, I'm trying to be content with the few people who have stuck around, and concentrate on being a good friend to them. I think loneliness is a very real problem, even for people who do not have SA.

Another practical thing I do is to keep myself occupied with productive hobbies. The best hobbies are things which you can do on a solo basis, yet serve as a good common ground with new people you might meet in the future. It can be physical activity, like running, yoga, climbing. Could be non-physical, like reading, photog, reading up about investing, volunteering etc. They key is that they can be done alone, and they're not just time fillers - if you get into it enough, you'll learn skills that could actually be useful. There are many places to find to fulfillment, and if social interaction isn't going well now, having some hobbies and tangible goals may help. 

Not to get religious, but I think this passage is helpful even when viewed in a secular light. "Grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Take care everyone


----------



## reliefseeker

Hi all, i'm glad to see some of u guys speaking up 
for those interested to keep in touch with one another, you can join our SA whatsapp chatgroup, just leave me a WA message at 97533539(not a scam. No phone calls allowed) 
Having SA is not the end yet. Dont give up!


----------



## x3FairyTail

Hello all, I'm new here, just recently ORDs and feel very lost and stress in finding a job. Idk how can I even work with serve SAD.
Anyone have the same problem?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## reliefseeker

Anyone here into Pokemon Go? It helped me a lot with my social anxiety and it makes me more outgoing than before, its also really a good exercise and good exposure, although my triggers and panic issues still remains. 
Anyway i have hosted a pokemon hunting this saturday, if any of you are interested, pls PM me or whatsapp me at my number stated above, thank you


----------



## Lonelysgguy

Hi all. I just found this forum and out of desperation I'm posting with the hopes of finding a potential gf whom I can marry one day soon.

I'm 37 and jobless. Oops, there goes my chances.

Haha. But I really think that having a wife may help cure my disorder a bit cos I'm not shy with someone I am close with.

So, msg me if anyone wanna marry me. ?


----------



## a237

Hi, I am new here. I'm 24 and have been having Major Depression and some SAD for over 10 years now, with a few attempted suicides. 

It has been a long long road. Many at times, I face the surging ocean of emotions with an unyielding will. But I can't seem to win against the ravaging tides. Depression I feel is something that comes in waves. Even when things get a little better, it makes me think when will the next storm come. And when it does come, I drown in bubbles. Over the years, I have swam and hollered, but all that replied me is silence.

I wish to ask everyone here, will there be a day that this feeling is gone? 

I have been struggling, hoping and fighting everyday for one more day, but nothing seems to change. I have consulted professional help before in my army days but I could not sustain the cost after army, its about $90 per session(1h), so I stopped going. I have tried medication, doing more sports, etc but I can't get away from depression. I get nightmares every night or wake up crying. It's tiring and I find myself asking what am I struggling for, why not just let the tide wash everything away.


----------



## Lonelysgguy

Just hang in there. Don't commit suicide no matter what. There is an afterlife and suiciders won't get rewarded.


----------



## hunterdoom

hi guys this is my first time posting here i think i have sad since i was 16 yrs old when my mother pass away. when i was young i was getting bullied in school quite often i think it leads me to become scared of people then army came and my anxiety worsen i was always getting bullied everywhere people say that i talk too slow this led me to having abit of depression after army i don't have a good education so currently i am working in store or warehouse i am 27 yrs old 
everyday when i got home i would just open up my computer and surf the internet. My stepmother that i have now are not in very good terms we don't talk at all because i don't like her. When she came into my family she start putting household laws so i am quite unhappy about it it has been 5 years since 
i don't talk to her but i give her money every month.But i am able to talk to my dad i am planning to get a private diploma since i can't get into a local one 
so i don't really know what the future holds for me. byebye guys


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## hunterdoom

hunterdoom said:


> hi guys this is my first time posting here i think i have sad since i was 16 yrs old when my mother pass away. when i was young i was getting bullied in school quite often i think it leads me to become scared of people then army came and my anxiety worsen i was always getting bullied everywhere people say that i talk too slow this led me to having abit of depression after army i don't have a good education so currently i am working in store or warehouse i am 27 yrs old
> everyday when i got home i would just open up my computer and surf the internet. My stepmother that i have now are not in very good terms we don't talk at all because i don't like her. When she came into my family she start putting household laws so i am quite unhappy about it it has been 5 years since
> i don't talk to her but i give her money every month.But i am able to talk to my dad i am planning to get a private diploma since i can't get into a local one
> so i don't really know what the future holds for me. byebye guys


i hope there is like minded people like me and i need more friends :frown2:


----------



## reliefseeker

hunterdoom said:


> i hope there is like minded people like me and i need more friends :frown2:


Yes there is a lot here. But sadly they dont post anymore either due to lack of response in this thread or cant find others who can relate
and @a237- pls hang in there too. 
If any of u guys wanna talk, can whatsapp or message me via mobile since i barely come on here. 
Just like any of u, i have been juggling with SA issues and other chronic mental illnesses, feels like im going to be warded soon at anytime though.


----------



## Cheesefriess

Hi everyone out there, just wanna share my story and hoping i can find anyone that can relate or understand what i m going through, or maybe if nobody is reading i will take it as a space for me to rant my mind out, this is my first time writing it out, so pardon me for my long post, i had been bottling myself up for a few years, and it really really felt like decades to me, i used to be such talkative one or rather a intellectual one, i never had issue making friends from any ages or gender. I am alway the class clown bringing in the laughter during my primary, secondary and poly days. You will alway see me in a gang with those 'cool kids', during my NS people from all ranks look up to me i even had the best company soldier award before, i was alway described as someone with great sense of humor BUT i had never ever appreciated my life untill suddenly i lost it, maybe god decided to gave it to someone whom he think deserved it more. The nightmare came when i found my first full time nasty job, i then developed a fear, erythophpbia which is also under the family of social anxiety. It is so severe that i cant even hold a proper conversation w my family members for more than a few minutes. Then i slowly became inactive in my social activity, soon i left my cursed company and went to further my study. I would lock myself in the room only coming out for lunch or dinner then attend class and repeat it everyday. Soon i lost interest in almost everything, my daily life contains less than 5mins conversation everything became so colourless, Its really killing me inside. I tried making new friends but it just doesnt proceed any further, i would hide whenever i see any of my friends outside fearing of holding a conversation w them. I felt really helpless. I tried meditating, self hypnosis and regular exercising i dont really see any progression. Sudicial thoughts do surface occassionally but i think it is not so serious at the moment but who knows in the future. I am currently thinking of getting professional help, does anyone have any recommendation? Expert in erythophobia and is not overly expensive. Pls pm me


----------



## N7engineer

Hello! This thread still active?


----------



## Lonelysgguy

Can anyone help me get a job?


----------



## ispoon

Hi, i am iSpoon, try sucide last year in late April, end up wife discover I did the charcoal burning in masterbedroom toilet when she back from work. I end up in CGH than police come and send me over to IMH, spend 2 over weeks in IMH in depression department. It is real boring there, no handphone, nothing.

After release I stay at my parent house and go back my own house over the weekend, trying to find a jobs daily and playing Diablo 3 at home. Everyday eat, sleep, find jobs, play games. My dad pay for all my debt and i note down the full amount from each banks.

Its only in late Oct i land myself a job which i get about 5k a month again. Right now my life is back to normal and return my dad a monthly $2k to repay my debt to him which will take close to 2 years to clear.

Thanks for the kind encouragement to all who had PM me last year.


----------



## ispoon

Its really no fun to sucide, after release from IMH, have to report to police station every month, mine last for 3 months than finally case close.


----------



## reliefseeker

ispoon said:


> Hi, i am iSpoon, try sucide last year in late April, end up wife discover I did the charcoal burning in masterbedroom toilet when she back from work. I end up in CGH than police come and send me over to IMH, spend 2 over weeks in IMH in depression department. It is real boring there, no handphone, nothing.
> 
> After release I stay at my parent house and go back my own house over the weekend, trying to find a jobs daily and playing Diablo 3 at home. Everyday eat, sleep, find jobs, play games. My dad pay for all my debt and i note down the full amount from each banks.
> 
> Its only in late Oct i land myself a job which i get about 5k a month again. Right now my life is back to normal and return my dad a monthly $2k to repay my debt to him which will take close to 2 years to clear.
> 
> Thanks for the kind encouragement to all who had PM me last year.


Thats good to hear, its been nearly a year since hearing your news, and tbh i was quite concerned about your well being after the things u wrote here last year, and i even thought we have lost a member here. But after so long, welcome back, i'm glad to hear that you're alright and found a job still, what a comeback you made. It must have been a real tough journey to get back to where you are now. Pls dont give up next time, there are members here who are legit concerned about you. If you have any worries, feel free to share with us. Do keep it up and stay strong, hope 2017 will be good to you


----------



## EeveeGal

Hi everyone, I'm 15 and currently in secondary school in the NA stream and just like everyone here, I have SA...

I actually didn't know that I'm suffering from SA until last year, when my only friend suggest that I have social anxiety, so I checked online and happened to stumbled upon this place, so I'm glad that I'm not the only one who is very socially awkward.

I guess my SA triggered back in primary school, around primary 3, where I would get picked on because I was still shy back then, except that I still have a few friends, it doesn't help that I'm the shortest and smallest girl in class, so the bullying continued in primary 4 and so on and things got even worse then, where I became extremely introverted and quiet, and don't talk in class unless I was spoken to, and part of it was because of the way I talk, I have difficulties pronouncing English words and since I communicate with my parents in Chinese, my English sounds very bad and since I don't talk with my classmates, there is no way that I can improved my English pronunciation, because of the lack of practice, I don't dare to talk in English, so I pretty much mute in school for the fear of being laugh at for my broken English...

Even though I can read and write English just fine (I even scored 28/30 back in sec 2 EL compo!), my only hindrance comes to the spoken part. &#128577;
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ispoon

EeveeGal said:


> Hi everyone, I'm 15 and currently in secondary school in the NA stream and just like everyone here, I have SA...
> 
> I actually didn't know that I'm suffering from SA until last year, when my only friend suggest that I have social anxiety, so I checked online and happened to stumbled upon this place, so I'm glad that I'm not the only one who is very socially awkward.
> 
> I guess my SA triggered back in primary school, around primary 3, where I would get picked on because I was still shy back then, except that I still have a few friends, it doesn't help that I'm the shortest and smallest girl in class, so the bullying continued in primary 4 and so on and things got even worse then, where I became extremely introverted and quiet, and don't talk in class unless I was spoken to, and part of it was because of the way I talk, I have difficulties pronouncing English words and since I communicate with my parents in Chinese, my English sounds very bad and since I don't talk with my classmates, there is no way that I can improved my English pronunciation, because of the lack of practice, I don't dare to talk in English, so I pretty much mute in school for the fear of being laugh at for my broken English...
> 
> Even though I can read and write English just fine (I even scored 28/30 back in sec 2 EL compo!), my only hindrance comes to the spoken part. &#128577;
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Your English sure is better than me when I am 15. My childhood is in HK where Chinese is my first language. I move to Singapore at 11 and I 've never pass my English or did badly till Sec 4. I am those lazy type and dont really study back than.

You need to make more friends and speak more. Its better to get laugh at now than when you start working and been laugh at. In work place its worst, trust me. Dont give yourself too much stress but slowly make more friends and speak more, join them for outing. If you find finding friends in school difficult, maybe can join some of those hobby group. Joining something you interested in will help to open up more.


----------



## N7engineer

Hi evryone i am n7engineer,just finished my ns and currently studying in uni.Do any of you guys know what type of medical condition will cause a person to completely exempt from NS?.Because i have a singaporean friend that never do NS,but he lie to me and other people he got do NS.Either he try to feign illness or he got some serious condition idk?if anyone can shed some light pls reply me


----------



## ljubo

N7engineer said:


> Hi evryone i am n7engineer,just finished my ns and currently studying in uni.Do any of you guys know what type of medical condition will cause a person to completely exempt from NS?.Because i have a singaporean friend that never do NS,but he lie to me and other people he got do NS.Either he try to feign illness or he got some serious condition idk?if anyone can shed some light pls reply me


zǎoshàng hǎo.

wǒ hěn gāoxìng rènshí nǐ.

nǐ chīfàn le ma?


----------



## reliefseeker

N7engineer said:


> Hi evryone i am n7engineer,just finished my ns and currently studying in uni.Do any of you guys know what type of medical condition will cause a person to completely exempt from NS?.Because i have a singaporean friend that never do NS,but he lie to me and other people he got do NS.Either he try to feign illness or he got some serious condition idk?if anyone can shed some light pls reply me


To be exempted from ns, ur mental condition must be deemed serious enough to affect ur daily functioning like schizophrenia, bipolar, depression. They do not want people with these conditions to serve ns unless you requested for it. And i dont think ns would want to take risk by recruiting the mentally ill sufferers.


----------



## BlackWhite

Hi all. Glad to know there is a group for singapore. 
I am one of them. 
Hope you guys are coping well!


----------



## shemanic

I haven't been active on this website ever since I posted that particular post! (And I still got no idea how to use this website..)
I am just wondering if there is a whatsapp group currently for this? 
I would like to join even though I may not speak much in the group @@

Anyway thank you so much for the advice!

Trying to take small steps at a time at the moment!


----------



## reliefseeker

shemanic said:


> I haven't been active on this website ever since I posted that particular post! (And I still got no idea how to use this website..)
> I am just wondering if there is a whatsapp group currently for this?
> I would like to join even though I may not speak much in the group @@
> 
> Anyway thank you so much for the advice!
> 
> Trying to take small steps at a time at the moment!


Yeah there is a whatsapp chatgroup for the locals here, no pressure to participate. You may PM me to exchange contacts.


----------



## VoltaireEsquirez

Hey guys sup yo how you all doing! Hope you all are doing fine! This anxiety/depression/paranoia etc battle we're all fighting, we can all conquer this together!

Actually I am 18yoboywithSA, a user who posted in this thread a few years ago. Maybe last time I ever posted was 2014 or 2015 and the first time I ever posted here was sometime between May to July 2013, just before my National Service enlistment on 20 August 2013. Well, I lost my account details to 18yoboywithSA, forgotten my last password and also kinda forgotten the email address I registered that account under so I can't reclaim the password.

Anyways, my name is Daniel and I am from Singapore! You may call me Dan for short if you want to 

Actually the reason I posted here is because I want to let off some steam over something that happened earlier today, so I'll come back later.

Ciao for now!


----------



## nxkedscars

Hello, I'm Cheryl. I am glad that there are other people like me out there who are also suffering with SA and that there is a support group for people living in Singapore. I have been diagnosed with SA for a year and I am on propranolol for my physical symptoms (not much help with my emotional thoughts). And I'm terrible with self-introductions.


----------



## Daylight2

I'm in Bangkok. Almost Singapore.


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## ArticEntropy

Hi there. Is this thread still functional? Any1 from sg?

I am SA sufferer and knows its not easy. Without proper treatment, the condition can only get worse. PPl without SA will no understand. When it hits, it warps your world and everything you see. Even your own emotion work against you. You cant control your feelings, and they start to overwhelm your thoughts, then they translate into actions, trembling, sweating and protective actions that you take when the anxiety hits. Wonder why you do those stupid things or say things when you are not even yourself? One battle over, then the next one starts. Over and over.

Anw, looking for more perspectives and ppl who share the same battle. Or any forum that has some sort of support grp. :smile2:


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## pssychedelic

A friend shared a really insightful article with me. You may find that it applies to you and helps you to understand better why/how you got disorders.

http://zencaroline.blogspot.sg/2009/02/dysfunctional-family-and-overcome.html


----------



## ArticEntropy

pssychedelic said:


> A friend shared a really insightful article with me. You may find that it applies to you and helps you to understand better why/how you got disorders.
> 
> http://zencaroline.blogspot.sg/2009/02/dysfunctional-family-and-overcome.html


I tend to think the damage is done. The chemistry in the brain is already altered, some parts of the brain is damaged due to long term anxiety/depression. Afterall, at age 20+ much or the behavioural and emotional traits are already set. The childhood story applies however my SA exacerbated 4-5 years ago and now i am feeling the full effects. Now when faced with the similar situations, the same feelings always arise like i am altered on a subconscious level. Then i feel like my thoughts are not even cohesive. The fear/anxiety will get the better of you in situations that you find threatening, and after the whole drama, the brain hurts and you dont feel yourself hours after the impact.


----------



## pssychedelic

I don't reject the possibility the brain has been altered. Nonetheless, I still feel it's possible to turn the tables given nurturing conditions. I find that we struggle very badly because there's little healthy family support. Especially when SAD occurs at a much younger age like before teens, the fears and insecurities build upon layers and layers; naturally, it becomes so much harder to treat the root of the problem since all these fears and insecurities have come to be deeply embedded in our core. It sure doesn't help at all that our more fortunate peers grow up in a more healthy way, developing capabilities along the way to help them negotiate far better in life; this gap between our fortunate peers and us gets bigger and bigger as the years go by; eventually, it seems almost impossible to catch up with them. 

To treat the root of the problem, most importantly, there must be someone of any status (relative, friend, partner) who loves us unconditionally and sees the worth in us and ideally, brings out the best in us. This role has to be present because it was clearly absent in the growing up years. This role forms the bedrock of healthy self-esteem. Self-esteem is critically important. And that's where the above webpage link comes to play; it provides a very comprehensive understanding as to why people have low self-esteem which effectively ruin their whole lives. 

I find innate personality plays a significant role; take the MBTI test if you haven't. Who we are innately does determine to an extent how we approach SAD and life matters.

Last of all, it takes a lot of personal conviction and will of steel to make sense of our suffering, rectify the issue and catch up with the fortunate others who have gone on to develop more skills and move forward in life. 

In essence, to those whose SAD mainly stem from family environment, we are like orphans in a refugee camp. We're brought up carelessly and oppressively. 

Even if SAD started from bullying in school as opposed to careless parenting from birth, understanding and thoughtful parents would step in and provide the necessary solace and equip the kids with knowledge on how to handle the situation. 

Family is key.


----------



## pssychedelic

Sadly, there's a strong correlation that our parents are who they are because of how their parents treated them too. It's a vicious cycle. The first one to break it has to suffer the burns.


----------



## Junpanda

That is so true though. I feel that a strong family support would really go a long way. Unfortunately many of us do not have the kind of luxury. The longer we keep our issues to ourselves, the harder it is to change as many of the distorted beliefs are somewhat set in stone already. Lucky there are these type of forums that can allow us to express what we are feeling through without sounding like an attention-seeking person or liars.


----------



## milknsugar95

Hello everyone, I'm Winnie, 22 years old and a university student right now. I've been having SAD since my polytechnic years, or maybe even earlier (I only ever sought out help in poly). I'm extremely short, small, I used to have a severe overbite and I look wayyy too young for my age, so it wouldn't be a surprise that I've been bullied endlessly for being defective. I've been called names, been the butt of jokes among friends and till today, people make casual jokes about me - people who aren't all that bad, just that they don't realise what this does to me (i.e. its not casual at all). Anyway, during polytechnic I went to SAMH for counselling. But right when the counsellor was gonna refer me to IMH, I chickened out and just stopped appearing. Ignored all their calls too. Continued on until I eventually couldn't take it, went to a Family Service Centre - same process - chickened out. My parents don't know about this issue because to be frank, they can't be bothered. They've their hands full from handling my sister who was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder last year after running away, and well, **** happened. 

I think the most difficult part of dealing with SAD is just all the running away. It seems impossible to change what's within me - all the fear, nerves, chest pumping, palms sweating, f e a r - so I keep changing external situations to protect myself. Can't stay in one job for more than 2 months.. and now I'm even thinking of changing my major (or dropping out) so I won't have to face the same people again. Its just never-ending running away, trying to 'reset' cause 'this time it'll turn out fine', and then it doesn't and you try run away again and again and again.

You never really settle. It never really stops. Even when you know your thoughts are irrational - no, people don't care they're not looking at you - the thoughts never go away. They just appear subconsciously and ruin lives.

I'm so negative haha, I'm sorry guys if you've read till here. But on the bright side, I don't think I'll ever stop fighting cause I'm too stubborn, I'm dead bent on being happy one day lol


----------



## jayzenx

hi guys im new here. 28m/sg. just read thru so many pages. happy to know im not alone!!!!!!!! <3


----------



## itsmandie

Hi everybody! I'm new too. Singaporean, 26/F. I feel the same way as many others that I'm not alone. Its comforting. I understand there's a whatsapp group for this? I'd love to join if possible. I'd like to get to know people with similar experiences better.


----------



## reliefseeker

itsmandie said:


> Hi everybody! I'm new too. Singaporean, 26/F. I feel the same way as many others that I'm not alone. Its comforting. I understand there's a whatsapp group for this? I'd love to join if possible. I'd like to get to know people with similar experiences better.


Hi &#128075;&#127995; 
Yes theres a whatsapp group for this, you may PM me for my number


----------



## djsamuel

Hello everyone, I'm also new here, am Singaporean 19yo male. I have been having social anxiety issues for quite awhile now, would be great if I could join the support group and connect with people I can relate to.


----------



## Kagaho

Hi, I am new here. I have been suffering from severe social anxiety disorder since a kid and right now I am 27 years old.


----------



## Pingz247

Hi! I am new here too. I'm Singaporean 16 female. I have social anxiety since primary school, even though now my condition is slowly getting better, I still worry about the simplest thing and is afraid to socialise with strangers. It's good to know that so many people have the same problems as me, even though I can't identify any in real life


----------



## pssychedelic

Pingz247 said:


> Hi! I am new here too. I'm Singaporean 16 female. I have social anxiety since primary school, even though now my condition is slowly getting better, I still worry about the simplest thing and is afraid to socialise with strangers. It's good to know that so many people have the same problems as me, even though I can't identify any in real life


lol you're right. at least on an observation level, i hardly notice anyone with reasonably spottable SAD symptoms. and they say SAD is common.. oh wells.


----------



## reliefseeker

My SAD is 13 yrs old now, i'm 26 myself and still struggling, how time flies. You guys arent alone in this battle, no matter what we still have to fight on and face this nasty world out there. Hope you guys are doing ok...


----------



## pssychedelic

i wonder what happened to all of the sufferers who have posted on this thread. did they get better? are they on to new milestones? are they generally happy? the reach and repercussions of severe SAD for a long period of years is barely understood by many. what we need most is unconditional love, belief and support; which of course is one hell of a luxury. it's an incredible battle of shame, worthlessness, expectations, judgment. i believe the future generations of people with SA will come to be diagnosed and receive help far earlier with the extensive reach of knowledge through technology and not have to suffer as long as we did. i can't start to imagine how difficult it must be for those in previous generations with absolutely no information, medical help and support. it's a tough life. hell is empty and all the devils are here. crush the human spirit enough; it will never recover.


----------



## ksang

Hi All , 

Im new here !


----------



## ksang

can i join in the chat ?


----------



## Huiii

Hi! I'm new here. 26yo female. Glad to find that there's a singapore support group. Hope to know more people who are having similar experiences.


----------



## reliefseeker

Anyone interested to meet up for a chat or exchange text messages? I need some social support. If interested, do PM me.


----------



## DarkKnight1

*Can join the support group?*

Hi Guys, is the support group still open? I will like to join leh.


----------



## Tired117

Hi i me new here i wish to join the support group. I down with illness. No one to talk to.


----------



## fireball

Hello. I'm 20F. Would love to join the group chat if there's still one? I could use someone to talk to, and I'd love to hear what you have to say too. Feel free to PM me!


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## reliefseeker

Anyone who wish to join the chatgroup can access this URL here https://chat.whatsapp.com/HWS3GJXeO5tEibyEH2Pvjm
Do state ur name and ur condition in the chatgroup(compulsory) for better identification and understanding thank you and happy chatting &#128522;


----------



## teardust22

I'm in Malaysia is there any way?


----------



## Gapid

New here 20yo M. I relate to some of the things here. I don't talk much, lack the drive to.meet strangers and also have been the butt of jokes. 

How do I know if i have SAD and.that I am not just being a lazy?


----------



## Gapid

Just to rephrase and correct some things. 

21yo* 
*Not much drive to meet new people. I would say not much of a social life.


----------



## reliefseeker

teardust22 said:


> I'm in Malaysia is there any way?


Hi teardust, hows things like over your side?
Can you elaborate more?


----------



## reliefseeker

Gapid said:


> New here 20yo M. I relate to some of the things here. I don't talk much, lack the drive to.meet strangers and also have been the butt of jokes.
> 
> How do I know if i have SAD and.that I am not just being a lazy?


Hi Gapid,

For someone to have SAD, they will have a strong and persistent fear that people are judging or observing them, afraid of social situations to the point of avoiding.

What you mentioned sounds like the traits of an introvert or asociality. I can't be certain for sure about whether you have SAD. Btw welcome to the forum


----------



## teardust22

I live in malaysia and I have ocd and sa.


----------



## fireball

Hey, tensedboy. I just noticed that you sent me a message last month. Not sure if you received my reply because it states that I need to have more than 10 posts or something like that.


----------



## reliefseeker

fireball said:


> Hey, tensedboy. I just noticed that you sent me a message last month. Not sure if you received my reply because it states that I need to have more than 10 posts or something like that.


Hi fireball, I did not receive your reply, maybe i can PM you my number so we can whatsapp each other(wont call)?


----------



## mt moyt

is the whatsapp group still active?


----------



## reliefseeker

mt moyt said:


> is the whatsapp group still active?


Yes, you can access the singapore chatgroup via link here

https://chat.whatsapp.com/HWS3GJXeO5tEibyEH2Pvjm

Remember to state ur name and ur condition/mental issues for easier identification and understanding, thank you &#55357;&#56842;


----------



## mt moyt

tensedboy said:


> Yes, you can access the singapore chatgroup via link here
> 
> https://chat.whatsapp.com/HWS3GJXeO5tEibyEH2Pvjm
> 
> Remember to state ur name and ur condition/mental issues for easier identification and understanding, thank you ��


thank you ill join in the morning


----------



## cws1967

*Hello*

Hi

I am 50yo M - had SAD and OCD since young. Got depression around 30 and have been on antidepressants etc since. Single and live with parents.

Probably due to

childhood separation
family history
dysfunctional family
isolated family
upbringing
very serious head injury

Can only stay engaged for about 5 hours - then will turn very sleepy/zombie. The only jobs available are part time non specialised jobs. Because I look normal - I get ordered to provide manual labour too. I have learned to live simply - managed to muddle and trudge along until now. Things have gotten quite bad lately with parents' and personal health.

Nice to see this forum with relatively young and (some) active members. Feels good just to talk about things and not be looked upon as a lazy good for nothing.

It has been a tough ride for many years and I think it will get rougher. So hang in there - if I have come this far, you can too.

Best wishes every one.


----------



## mt moyt

hi


----------



## ksang

Hi , PM me for SG whatapps chat grp . i suffering from SA also . we have a chat grp for people who need someone to talk to .


----------



## ksang

hard time wont last .


----------



## reliefseeker

tensedboy said:


> yes, you can access the singapore chatgroup via link here
> 
> https://chat.whatsapp.com/hws3gjxeo5teibyeh2pvjm
> 
> remember to state ur name and ur condition/mental issues for easier identification and understanding, thank you ��


HI ALL,

THE CHATGROUP HAS ALR MOVED AND I AM NO LONGER THE ADMIN

PLEASE PM THE PERSON IN CHARGE, OR AS PER MENTIONED BY THE PREVIOUS POSTER(above me)

THANK YOU AND HAVE A GOOD DAY.


----------



## HandwrittenPast

Hi everybody, glad to get linked to this forum when I tried to google for SA. 29yo M from SG here with mild SA, I think? I'm not exactly sure how to measure the level of SA I have but definitely not to the extend that I have suicidal thoughts or what not. 

I think it's mainly developed during my childhood times due to restrictive family or what not and will often get scolded or punished if I did badly especially in academic matters. It doesn't really matter anymore now since I've already finished my national service then followed by working for a few years in a medium scale company. It helped me a bit as I get to talk to many different people but I still feel really introverted and weird some times and can't really explain the weirdness of unable to articulate myself sometimes.

Glad to know I'm not the only 1 at least. Some of the methods that I've tried to make or fake myself to be more confident includes learning guitar, listening to music of cuz, really like Jay and JJlin, their music keeps me entertained when I'm having my train ride at least I feel. I also just started to go for a run 3 times a week as well, a good way to maintain my body weight as I'm at times super self conscious with no reason at all, rather calm my own mind by doing something productive.


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## reliefseeker

Once again everyone, pardon for the caps earlier on,

this is the link to our new chatgroup:

https://chat.whatsapp.com/E2P0DIKmEu8ITOR833WwgH (please note that i'm not the admin or creator)

And it would be good if you can state your name and condition/issues upon joining.

Hope all of you are well and have a nice day.


----------



## N7engineer

*ocd*



tensedboy said:


> To be exempted from ns, ur mental condition must be deemed serious enough to affect ur daily functioning like schizophrenia, bipolar, depression. They do not want people with these conditions to serve ns unless you requested for it. And i dont think ns would want to take risk by recruiting the mentally ill sufferers.


No wonder la.I have been observing this guy in my uni for 1 year.I think he got some form of OCD and adhd but i never ask him


----------



## Cookies12

Hi everyone, like a lot of you guys out there, I too suffered from GAD for the longest time. I only began recognising it as a problem and sought for help some time ago. 

I find that in Singapore, GAD is always the white elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about. 

I've started a place for people in Singapore to share in forums about anxiety, and those who walked through them, may share how they did it. 

Come and join me at thesoulfulyou.com

This is not profiteering site, I paying out of my own pocket to host the site because I figured out that I needed a place to vent too. Cant rly find anywhere else in SG.


----------



## kfcpotato

is anyone still here??! is this forum still active??! all the replies are in year 2010. omg. just wanted to find someone like me to have someone to talk too.


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## reliefseeker

kfcpotato said:


> is anyone still here??! is this forum still active??! all the replies are in year 2010. omg. just wanted to find someone like me to have someone to talk too.


Hi,
I'm here if you or anyone wants to talk. :smile2:
Just leave me a PM and I will try to answer asap


----------



## Gapid

Hi I posted a few.months back, after reading more online and looking at my curry situation. I think it's not sociality , I think I might have Avoidant Personality Disorder. 

Ps : is there other groups like fb group or telegram


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## Gapid

Hi I posted a few.months back, after reading more online and looking at my current situation. I think it's not sociality , I think I might have Avoidant Personality Disorder. Any known place in st to get official diagnosis ? Dun wan it to hinder progress in life..

Ps : is there other groups like fb group or telegram


----------



## Gapid

*Asociality

Paiseh cant delete the repeated post.


----------



## May1971

Schizophrenia, Major Depression, PTSD & Anxiety. I'm a 46 year old Singaporean Malay female. Wishing everyone well &#128578;
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## frdseet

Hi I am Dennis. I am a 35 yr old guy with sad symptoms. Anyone aware of any chat group , interest group or Whatsapp chat group in sg, I will be very willing to join. Hoping to meet people with same symptoms as me. Pls pm me if any. Thks.


----------



## May1971

frdseet said:


> Hi I am Dennis. I am a 35 yr old guy with sad symptoms. Anyone aware of any chat group , interest group or Whatsapp chat group in sg, I will be very willing to join. Hoping to meet people with same symptoms as me. Pls pm me if any. Thks.


Hi. What happened to you?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Eoss0711

*New, worried and sad*

Hi 21-year-old female. I really am struggling through university at the moment. In my third year now and I have made like 0 friends? The thing is I really tried in my first year: took part in hall and faculty camps and joined a few CCAs as well. But I just felt like I didn't fit in? I don't really enjoy singing k, drinking or sports in general which did not help.

This semester is especially bad ever since I came back from exchange. I'm like back in a hellhole again...alone in all my classes. Whenever I meet people I know they are always asking me about topics which I really don't want to talk about - basically jobs and internships. I am currently like super worried about the future, got an internship for this summer but it is not really 'prestigious' and people keep asking me why I chose it. The thing is I am super lost about what I want to pursue right now (long story). As a result of all this I am avoiding people I know in university which I know is bad.

I've always had mild anxiety where I have difficulty approaching strangers, worry about what others think of me and always thinking about the worst possible scenario. I normally can overcome these feelings. But it has been very bad for this past month, affecting my work where I literally spend hours thinking everyday. I've tried to take part in some gatherings but it has just made me feel worse. Talked to my parents about it but my mum ended up scolding me and telling me to be grateful for what I have in life. My dad did make me feel a bit better but he couldn't really understand what I am facing. I do have a close friend who I complain to but I don't really want to burden her with all this ****?

I don't know whether what I have classifies as social anxiety but I just feel worried about EVERYTHING. To the point where I just burst out crying to myself sometimes at night. I really hate myself at the moment. Decided to take the plunge and post this because I can't seem to study for my test tomorrow at all with my mind being filled by all these thoughts.


----------



## Ldmr1004

25yo male here. Recently started work and I have been having a hard time adjusting. 

I have not always experienced symptoms of social anxiety. I wouldn't say I was popular or socially well-adjusted but I was at least comfortable in my own skin up till about the second year of uni. After that, I seemed to just fall of a cliff. I had a bunch of great friends and I was really happy in my first year. But then I returned from the summer break to find that somehow things had changed. I can't explain how, but I increasingly started to feel alienated from my old bunch of friends, and this led to me isolating myself more and more. I just felt like I was socially awkward and would replay especially embarrassing memories in my head over and over. Eventually I think my friends felt it too and started to treat me differently. I try my best to hide these awkward feelings but I probably am not very good at it.

Fast forward a couple of years. I'm starting at my first job. The feeling of awkwardness hasn't left. It's a good thing that my job doesn't really compel human interaction in social contexts, though I often have to speak to others (in a professional context). Overall I just feel my mind is becoming increasingly sluggish. Where I used to have interesting opinions to share with others I now have none. Where I used to be comfortable with myself, I can now only truly be me with a select few friends. I've talked to my close friends about this, but the general consensus is that I have to make more of an effort to get over myself and just be me. That's probably right but I'm finding it much easier said than done, somehow. I feel that my sense of identity isn't very strong, and I sometimes end up being a chameleon, changing the way I interact based on who I'm interacting with. As a result, most of my friends now are my old friends - friends I met before I suddenly fell off that cliff. With them, thankfully, most of the time the good times still roll. But I haven't been able to make many friends after that, which I think is seriously holding me back not just socially but professionally.

Reading some of the posts above - I'm glad to know that others feel something similar as well. But I oscillate between just wanting to find solidarity with others who feel the same way on the one hand, and rejecting this condition in the hope I can return to my old self (now almost 4-5 years gone). I used to think it was just social anxiety, but now I realise it's a mix of various things. I think a big part of it might just be the uncertainty that comes with being in this stage of life. 

Objectively speaking I'm happy with the level of social interaction I'm getting - I don't feel lonely I think. But I compare what I'm doing to others, and I think others might think I'm a little reclusive. And it's that social judgment which affects me and makes me keep dwelling on such things.


----------



## reliefseeker

Anyone here is/was a social recluse or been jobless for extended periods before? 

Ever since I left my last job at an IT co(which I worked for 3-4yrs) on this day at Mar 2017 due to external triggers and relapse of my mental illness, I've been struggling to find a suitable job that can last me for more than 1,2 weeks, so kind of regretting that decision to quit. My unemployment gap is now almost 1 year (if excluding my last job as a temp data entry staff from Jan-Feb 18 ). 

I thought of upgrading myself by attending a course related to my field of study, but I couldn't pass a test to get myself accepted, felt so inept and helpless. 
When I look at the job advertisements, none of which is what I'm ok/good at. Seriously I just can't live up to societal expectations, so that makes me a good for nothing person isn't it?. Everyone seem to have found their own place in society, while I'm still lost on what to do. 

So, what is in store for me next? Nothing but being the recluse that I've always been to some extent as I'm quite asocial, awkward and socially anxious by nature(having a low self esteem and being the receiving end of social rejection makes it worst too) 

Not that I enjoy being a social recluse though, my finances are depleting, medical bills eating into my savings, parents are urging me to get a job which makes me desperate to search for employment, and the fact that I'm not actively contributing back allowances to my parents makes me even more desperate to find a job. If I can be a social recluse without having to worry about those, I would definitely be one.

Very frustrated and growing more anxious about this current situation. My interest in daily hobbies is slowly overtook by worries and pessimism. I'm at a lost regarding which direction should I take with regards to my next job. 
Hope to have some inputs on this.


----------



## hellozxc

Hi tensedboy,

I'm neither a social recluse nor have been jobless for extended periods. But I have been checking back on this thread (I have posted once or twice but I've lost my account details each time), and I've noticed you're one of the few consistent posters in this thread, letting people know of the WA group, and just responding in general. I thought that was very nice of you and I've been very encouraged just by the fact that you're here to respond to people. I think it's a very true saying that sometimes people are great at taking care of others, but they forget to take care of themselves.

I'm sorry I don't have any advice regarding the job issue. But maybe I can share abit about myself so you know you're definitely not alone. I too am a little bit of a recluse. I really would rather stay holed up in my office/room all day and not have to meet people; or only meet people when I want to. 

You say that you can't live up to societal expectations, and that makes you feel like a good for nothing. That can't be further from the truth. (1) Lots of people who tick the checkboxes of societal expectations still feel like a good for nothing sometimes. (2) Societal expectations aren't the benchmark of a good life, or a good person. I think that it's much better to be known as a caring human being than as a successful/rich/popular one.

I don't really know your situation but it seems that you think your mental condition is affecting your chances at getting a job. Generally speaking I think that's a real possibility - although I currently have a job, I feel that my mental condition is definitely affecting my performance. So I think I know a little bit of what you mean. I don't know if you recall a point in time of your life when you were not awkward - when you felt comfortable in your own skin. If you do, maybe try to remember what it was like, and try to replicate it? I know it's easier said than done, but I do believe alot of this is in the mind. I have good days and bad days, and the difference tends to be what kind of thoughts I'm dwelling on. The mental condition makes it hard/tiring to think positively, but it doesn't make it impossible.

I know it isn't great advice, but really the reason I'm writing is to thank you for your contributions here, and to let you know that it is all appreciated. I hope you're able to find more good days in the future, and that your job situation will get better. Sometimes the truth is that it's all about luck. And all one can do now is to prepare to be ready to receive when the luck finally lands.

Cheers!

PS: I realise this would have been more appropriate in the form of a PM but unfortunately I can't PM this is a new account and I have under 15 posts.


----------



## reliefseeker

hellozxc said:


> Hi tensedboy,
> 
> I'm neither a social recluse nor have been jobless for extended periods. But I have been checking back on this thread (I have posted once or twice but I've lost my account details each time), and I've noticed you're one of the few consistent posters in this thread, letting people know of the WA group, and just responding in general. I thought that was very nice of you and I've been very encouraged just by the fact that you're here to respond to people. I think it's a very true saying that sometimes people are great at taking care of others, but they forget to take care of themselves.
> 
> I'm sorry I don't have any advice regarding the job issue. But maybe I can share abit about myself so you know you're definitely not alone. I too am a little bit of a recluse. I really would rather stay holed up in my office/room all day and not have to meet people; or only meet people when I want to.
> 
> You say that you can't live up to societal expectations, and that makes you feel like a good for nothing. That can't be further from the truth. (1) Lots of people who tick the checkboxes of societal expectations still feel like a good for nothing sometimes. (2) Societal expectations aren't the benchmark of a good life, or a good person. I think that it's much better to be known as a caring human being than as a successful/rich/popular one.
> 
> I don't really know your situation but it seems that you think your mental condition is affecting your chances at getting a job. Generally speaking I think that's a real possibility - although I currently have a job, I feel that my mental condition is definitely affecting my performance. So I think I know a little bit of what you mean. I don't know if you recall a point in time of your life when you were not awkward - when you felt comfortable in your own skin. If you do, maybe try to remember what it was like, and try to replicate it? I know it's easier said than done, but I do believe alot of this is in the mind. I have good days and bad days, and the difference tends to be what kind of thoughts I'm dwelling on. The mental condition makes it hard/tiring to think positively, but it doesn't make it impossible.
> 
> I know it isn't great advice, but really the reason I'm writing is to thank you for your contributions here, and to let you know that it is all appreciated. I hope you're able to find more good days in the future, and that your job situation will get better. Sometimes the truth is that it's all about luck. And all one can do now is to prepare to be ready to receive when the luck finally lands.
> 
> Cheers!
> 
> PS: I realise this would have been more appropriate in the form of a PM but unfortunately I can't PM this is a new account and I have under 15 posts.


Hi,

Sorry it took me almost a week to reply your msg, I've been thinking of what to say lol, also been preoccupied with other issues. Anyway noted with what you said, really appreciate your input to this :')
I guess I still have a long way to go to conquer my issues, though so far I'm quite stable while at times finding myself easily slipped into horrible anxiety and negative dwelling. 
Been working with my therapists to find out more about the hidden triggers in my mind and how to manage it.

And regarding the last part, does it requires more than 15 posts to be able to private message? If so, that's kinda ridiculous:sus, makes it harder for newcomers to reach out to people privately and make friends.


----------



## Gwenlexeis

Hi, I am new here and I dealing with SAD. Hope to make like minded friends here.


----------



## Kaelern

Gwenlexeis said:


> Hi, I am new here and I dealing with SAD. Hope to make like minded friends here.


Hi Gwen! Nice to meet u  and welcome to the group !


----------



## reliefseeker

Gwenlexeis said:


> Hi, I am new here and I dealing with SAD. Hope to make like minded friends here.


Hi Gwen, :wel
I'm Jeffery, been a long time sufferer of SAD as you can see from the posts I've made here ever since yr 2011. Hope you will get the support and help that you need here. :smile2:



Kaelern said:


> Hi Gwen! Nice to meet u  and welcome to the group !


Hey Kaelern,

I remember your presence in this thread for quite awhile back, how have you been coping? Is everything alright so far? (if you don't mind sharing)


----------



## Kaelern

tensedboy said:


> Hi Gwen, :wel
> I'm Jeffery, been a long time sufferer of SAD as you can see from the posts I've made here ever since yr 2011. Hope you will get the support and help that you need here. :smile2:
> 
> Hey Kaelern,
> 
> I remember your presence in this thread for quite awhile back, how have you been coping? Is everything alright so far? (if you don't mind sharing)


Hi Tensedboy! Thanks for your concern and thanks for asking  yeah I have been here on and off so far.. also have seen you in this thread often. I am not so good recently.. been having anxiety attacks more often these days and I don't know why  I am much much better than I was few years back but I felt my best last year but suddenly this month not so. I am still able to step out of my house and go to work but experience attacks daily (situation based Attacks). Trying to tide through as usual cause I know life goes on and I must hang on cause what is life without the challenges and ups and downs right ?

How about you ?? I remember the last I read was that you had some issues at work, how are things now ?? Hope it is getting better for you !


----------



## reliefseeker

Kaelern said:


> Hi Tensedboy! Thanks for your concern and thanks for asking  yeah I have been here on and off so far.. also have seen you in this thread often. I am not so good recently.. been having anxiety attacks more often these days and I don't know why  I am much much better than I was few years back but I felt my best last year but suddenly this month not so. I am still able to step out of my house and go to work but experience attacks daily (situation based Attacks). Trying to tide through as usual cause I know life goes on and I must hang on cause what is life without the challenges and ups and downs right ?
> 
> How about you ?? I remember the last I read was that you had some issues at work, how are things now ?? Hope it is getting better for you !


I can understand, my anxiety is also situation-based to some extent, especially when I'm talking, sharing about myself, or at a noisy place, and others(heck, i'm also anxious even when talking on WhatsApp lol). 
Its definitely not easy, we have to accept that anxiety is bound to happen in our daily life. But there is also a possibility that we can overcome it, maybe not fully, once we know how to manage it.

Anyway sorry to hear that you are not doing good recently, anxiety attacks are really a torture, it can really make u feel on the edge with all sorts of annoying symptoms. And as a long time anxiety disorder sufferer, I can definitely relate.

As for me, I'm probably better than I was in the past due to the fact that I'm no longer studying or working(which is not a good sign). 
My job is long gone, I've made a decision that caused me to regret. Now I'm on a search for employment. 
Mindfulness and benzos are my coping tools for anxiety.


----------



## Gwenlexeis

I had been on job search for a year plus now as well. I had problem with handling stress and would tend to escape to relieve the scary symptoms or if people criticize/make fun of me. I cant stand the way if people stare at me and looking at me weirdly. I know this is not the good and right things but it is my automatic response to it :crying:
Really feeling lost of direction. I am hoping to find a more understanding employer and a job that I can cope.


----------



## reliefseeker

Gwenlexeis said:


> I had been on job search for a year plus now as well. I had problem with handling stress and would tend to escape to relieve the scary symptoms or if people criticize/make fun of me. I cant stand the way if people stare at me and looking at me weirdly. I know this is not the good and right things but it is my automatic response to it :crying:
> Really feeling lost of direction. I am hoping to find a more understanding employer and a job that I can cope.


Yeah I know the feeling...

Btw, have u thought of signing up for ESS under SACS? (Employment Support Svc) 
http://sacs.org.sg/our-services/
You can give it a try, they do provide employment services for people with mental issues, you just need to contact them and they will probably send you a 3,4 page form for your doctor or MSW to fill up.

And there is also jobclub from IMH, not sure if you are an outpatient there, but they do provide jobs and support as well if you are willing to accept the measly pay.

SAMH mindset learning hub also provides employment support and opportunities too..you also might want to check out: https://www.samhealth.org.sg/our-services/rehabilitation/mindset-learning-hub/#mlh-services

These are the avenues I've tried/yet to try in order to find a job supportive of people with mental health issues. Maybe it's possible to find a job with an understanding employer, but the environment is not always within anyone's control and there is some risk of encountering bad colleagues. I might be saying what you already know but it's better to be mentally prepared first.

After my resignation last yr, I've been searching high and low for jobs related to my field of study, but to no avail, either because I couldn't meet their requirements or there is a mismatch in preference, so I sort of gave up searching for roles related to what I studied, and look for jobs with very basic duties that pays low, since that is within my coping abilities.


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## Gwenlexeis

I feel better after writing here. Thanks for sharing with me the employment sources. I am currently seeking assistance from SACS and trying to find a employment myself. Sometimes I feel like giving up sometimes but I always remind myself to be strong. Understand that mean people at workplace are unavoidable. And, hope you get a well suited employment soon and things get better.


----------



## BalancedSan

Hi there, I'm John 

I have SAD and I hope to meet friends here. 

Abit about myself, I'm a programmer who coded a few months now. I am studying a degree in comp science and cybersecurity in a private uni. Trying to get a career in software development. 

I am managing my SAD and have been improving, compared to before where I cope by ignoring real life and spam my time in games. 

I managed to quit games and work towards my career with the help of someone I met online. 

Although sometimes I feel overwhelmed because I'm afraid I won't make it, by that I mean getting a job I'm working for. Which makes me really anxious. 

Also the fact that I do not have much contact with people in real life like school where i have 0 friends, which it is still something I am trying to work on. 

But nevertheless, I am trying to overcome my SAD and work hard in what I want to do. 

So if anyone wants to talk or be friends with, feel free to pm. 

Thanks for listening out


----------



## Danesh Ettore Laino

Hi everyone, I’m Dan. Been dealing with everything and anything. Had Agoraphobia for 2 years, GAD since 21 and I’m 29 now, depression on and off, Panic attacks on a daily basis. Ahh you guys know it all. I’m very open about what I have yet I still feel very lonely. I’m great at helping others yet I can’t seem to help myself. Lovely huh. Anyways! It’s tough to find a support group of “like minded” people where we can share our feelings and thoughts without being judged and I was hoping to find it here. I used to have a little group where we would meet once or twice a week to talk as well and that helped. Anyways... I hope to meet many others and hopefully be of some help or maybe get some help/advice from you as well. Please feel free to contact me directly (I’m not sure if I’m allowed to give out my number but I’m gonna try anyways) it’s 91063480, do msg me rather then call as I don’t tend to answer phone calls from numbers I don’t know (another perk of having anxiety issues). Or drop me a msg on Facebook... hope to hear from someone.. anyone... soon 🙂 Don’t give up guys... your not alone.


----------



## Danesh Ettore Laino

frdseet said:


> Hi I am Dennis. I am a 35 yr old guy with sad symptoms. Anyone aware of any chat group , interest group or Whatsapp chat group in sg, I will be very willing to join. Hoping to meet people with same symptoms as me. Pls pm me if any. Thks.


Hi Dennis! I'd be more then happy to create a whatsapp group for us here in Singapore who has to deal with the same daily struggles. Band up as a community and hopefully help each other out. PM Me or send me a directly msg on my WhatsApp at 91063480 if you'd like man. I'll be more then happy. Peace.


----------



## herogabby

Hi all, my name is Gabriel, age 35 and I am from Singapore. It has taken me a long time to accept that I’m not normal. I was diagnosed with negative schizophrenia around 5 years ago but was discharged from Institute of Mental Health (IMH) after few months of therapy sessions and given medication to suppress the condition. I took the medication daily for about a year before I decided to stop because I was determined to not depend on meds to suppress the condition all my life. I wanted to take control of it on my own and have been doing so since 2014.

Lately, I have been feeling extremely depressed.

I have been in and out of jobs during the past 10 years, never been able to hold on any single job for more than a year, because of schizophrenia, I am unable to form close bonds with colleagues, have short attention span, unable to focus for long periods of time, have speech and body language inconsistencies, low confidence level and extremely introverted personality. I consistently get fired after the 3-6 month probation period. 

I have learnt to adept and improve myself slowly, but evidently it has been very difficult for me and the improvements have been insignificant. I have trained my mind to focus on the positive, to act confidently in front of others when it doesn’t come naturally. I try my best to be more assertive when speaking, but this is still a struggle. I feel lost and unable to speak when I am in large groups of people. I found that it helps to focus on one person when speaking in a group, but I still feel all eyes on me and this makes me feel extremely nervous, and I am not referring to public speaking, but in groups of 4 or more people. 

I volunteered at MINDS Reach out (Reach Out Project (RO)) for about 6 months in 2015. I left because I felt that some of the other volunteers, together with the intellectually disabled people, knew that I was different and some were giving me strange looks, and that made me feel uncomfortable and outcast from the rest. 

It is so depressing to see all my cousins who are younger than me by a few years get married especially during Chinese New Year gatherings, and lead happy, fulfilling lives, to hold down stable jobs and build successful careers while I am getting nowhere in life. Many of my younger cousins and relatives are in managerial positions (some are entrepreneurs) and bought their own condo/HDB while I am still in an entry level position in a small company, where the boss was kind enough to take me in, but honestly I do not think I can even last long in this current job.

I have made a few close friends over the years, currently only one whom I still contact regularly but he has not been able to help me out of my predicament. Most of them have given up on me over the years, because they do not understand the pain and the mental disease that I have and they have moved on with their happy lives.

I do not want anyone’s pity; I just want someone to be able to help me cope with life. I have had suicidal thoughts by sleeping pill overdose, but I am afraid of the physical pain. I am not young anymore. I want to lead a normal life, one where I can have good friends to confide in, contribute to society and be a more outgoing person. I just want to be happy, to have supportive friends to make me smile, but I know and almost accept that all of it is wishful thinking. 

I am a Roman Catholic and I have questioned God countless of times why he gave me this cross to carry, when I am not mentally and emotionally strong. I cry myself to sleep almost every night in my room. I just do not know how long I can endure this pain.


----------



## reliefseeker

Hi all,

If anyone here wants to join the whatsapp chatgroups,
do let me know, i will seek the admin's permission for him/her to add u guys in, and do briefly intro urself too.


----------



## reliefseeker

herogabby said:


> Hi all, my name is Gabriel, age 35 and I am from Singapore. It has taken me a long time to accept that I'm not normal. I was diagnosed with negative schizophrenia around 5 years ago but was discharged from Institute of Mental Health (IMH) after few months of therapy sessions and given medication to suppress the condition. I took the medication daily for about a year before I decided to stop because I was determined to not depend on meds to suppress the condition all my life. I wanted to take control of it on my own and have been doing so since 2014.
> 
> Lately, I have been feeling extremely depressed.
> 
> I have been in and out of jobs during the past 10 years, never been able to hold on any single job for more than a year, because of schizophrenia, I am unable to form close bonds with colleagues, have short attention span, unable to focus for long periods of time, have speech and body language inconsistencies, low confidence level and extremely introverted personality. I consistently get fired after the 3-6 month probation period.
> 
> I have learnt to adept and improve myself slowly, but evidently it has been very difficult for me and the improvements have been insignificant. I have trained my mind to focus on the positive, to act confidently in front of others when it doesn't come naturally. I try my best to be more assertive when speaking, but this is still a struggle. I feel lost and unable to speak when I am in large groups of people. I found that it helps to focus on one person when speaking in a group, but I still feel all eyes on me and this makes me feel extremely nervous, and I am not referring to public speaking, but in groups of 4 or more people.
> 
> I volunteered at MINDS Reach out (Reach Out Project (RO)) for about 6 months in 2015. I left because I felt that some of the other volunteers, together with the intellectually disabled people, knew that I was different and some were giving me strange looks, and that made me feel uncomfortable and outcast from the rest.
> 
> It is so depressing to see all my cousins who are younger than me by a few years get married especially during Chinese New Year gatherings, and lead happy, fulfilling lives, to hold down stable jobs and build successful careers while I am getting nowhere in life. Many of my younger cousins and relatives are in managerial positions (some are entrepreneurs) and bought their own condo/HDB while I am still in an entry level position in a small company, where the boss was kind enough to take me in, but honestly I do not think I can even last long in this current job.
> 
> I have made a few close friends over the years, currently only one whom I still contact regularly but he has not been able to help me out of my predicament. Most of them have given up on me over the years, because they do not understand the pain and the mental disease that I have and they have moved on with their happy lives.
> 
> I do not want anyone's pity; I just want someone to be able to help me cope with life. I have had suicidal thoughts by sleeping pill overdose, but I am afraid of the physical pain. I am not young anymore. I want to lead a normal life, one where I can have good friends to confide in, contribute to society and be a more outgoing person. I just want to be happy, to have supportive friends to make me smile, but I know and almost accept that all of it is wishful thinking.
> 
> I am a Roman Catholic and I have questioned God countless of times why he gave me this cross to carry, when I am not mentally and emotionally strong. I cry myself to sleep almost every night in my room. I just do not know how long I can endure this pain.


Hi...
You're not different from me in the sense that we have similar diagnosis, issues and needs. I was diagnosed schiz 9 years ago, felt quite shocked with regards to how they conclude my diagnosis.

I simply told my pdoc that I felt people were observing/scrutinizing me in social situations and it makes me feel anxious. All these points to social anxiety/anxiety disorder. I don't get it. Every antipsychotics they prescribed me never worked, it did me more harm than good. I still feel anxious, sometimes paranoid and a bit hypersensitive. The only meds that worked are antidepressants, beta blockers and benzos.

And it's not like I developed delusions for no reason whatsoever. If they suspect me of having schizophrenia due to some of it's negative symptoms, I can understand a little bit. But the beliefs I had were not completely out of touch with reality, it was developed slowly over time due to my past bad experiences with people including a few members from this group.

I can definitely understand what you mean because I have been in your shoes and it's been ongoing for quite some time. Sorry to hear that you're feeling depressed though. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me, same goes for anyone here as well, just let me know your SAS nickname and I'll try to reply asap.


----------



## Wingwing

Hi guys,

I've been reading thread on and off for quite a while and I can feel the similarities with you guys who have posted here. I have social anxiety and depression for a long time and have only consulted the doc a few years back. Been receiving employment support from SACS since then and been working but not really stable yet. I am underemployed based on my qualifications but at least it provides some income and gets me out of the house. 

I feel really lonely at times since i don't really have friends. I have been avoiding contact with my closer friends from school despite them asking to meet up. I met new friends through SACS but I wasn't able to connect with them probably due to different diagnosis and the fact that I'm not a really sociable person. Although I'm introverted and afraid, I feel lonely esp in my recovery journey. I really hope I can meet some like-minded friends so we can be there for one another during tough times and also have fun together.


----------



## mt moyt

tensedboy said:


> I don't understand.
> Why is Wingwing's reply and mine removed? Her post was quite helpful and sounds ok to me. Also, I did not post anything threatening nor triggering.
> No harmful intentions whatsoever.
> 
> But if I were to be honest, there is no way I can come to terms with being treated in a backhanded and belittling manner especially when this has been ongoing in both the cyberspace and real life for quite some time, from a few members here still. I'm generally a harmless guy with a bundle of nerves, but I don't react well when it comes to peer rejections, betrayals or even shaming. I can be quite paranoid and perceive things differently from a normal person, but not without any reason, I've been "burnt" in the past many times, there is no way I can allow myself to be on the receiving end of that again. And just for that post, I'm viewed as a potential dangerous, no good, nasty psychopath already. This is ridiculous.


Hi tensedboy, there were issues with the forum and Vbulletin rolled the whole forum back 3-4 days. Since 25 june I think. check this thread here: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f174/posts-disappearing-2207779/

I think everyone lost posts, including pms, and even accounts created during that time are gone.


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## reliefseeker

mt moyt said:


> Hi tensedboy, there were issues with the forum and Vbulletin rolled the whole forum back 3-4 days. Since 25 june I think. check this thread here: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f174/posts-disappearing-2207779/
> 
> I think everyone lost posts, including pms, and even accounts created during that time are gone.


Oh ok thanks for informing, wasnt aware of it. I guess that explains the missing posts. This forum is buggy sometimes, and certain functions dont seem to work anymore.


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## Wingwing

*To pssychedelic*

Hi pssychedelic,

I received your PM and tried replying to it but it was unsuccessful. I applied to an internship programme under SACS and worked for 10 months in an admin position. The admin job was quite solitary because the task was data entry but the up side was that it was not really stressful. My rehab counsellor then linked me up to another job which was relevant to my studies. Though I was still underemployed and my role was small, being in this job allows me to gain some insights about the operations of an SME in the industry which I had not been exposed to. Both employers know that I have a condition when I joined them but most employees there do not know. Hope these info helps.


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## Lifeisamazing

Hi I'm Dav here. I am a personal life coach.
I would like to understand and help people with anxiety.
My girlfriend has anxiety too so understanding it would help me greatly.
I am very opening minded and i love to help people. you can add me to any of your whatsapp group at +6582013524.
Life is beautiful, depending on ur perception. You just have to see it.

Respectfully,
Dav


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## mobc1990

hi,my name is tx,I from from jb close to singpore...I was diagnosed with schiz also but I don't accept the diagnosis and want to fight it out.I have issue also with relationship because I couldn't find a GF and I spend my money on unimportant stuff.I knew that If I don't get a gf soon,my life will be wasted...my two siblings are already in a relationship and only me is single.Anyway,i hope you can recover and maybe find a gf soon...


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## SarahDH

Here's who I am and what I need very badly. I am a 33 year old female, professional, 2 bachelors degrees, 1 masters. Been extremely insecure since about 6th grade. Always feel like I don't fit in. Always feel as if no one likes me and everyone is talking behind my back. I hate social situations and have always loved being by myself and doing everything by myself and being the best at everything I do. I guess lately I have felt very isolated. I'm looking for a friend. Anyone interested in being my friend and someone I can talk to with no judgements, Id truly appreciate it. Please contact me. I am dying inside.


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## reliefseeker

Hi all..

For those who dk me..i'm a long time visitor and poster here who read this thread once in awhile. 

Been quite busy and exhausted with work..i thought i'm getting better but it seems like the symptoms are back with greater frequency. 

Dull muscle ache, twitching, weakness, exhaustion, tiredness upon slight exertion or sudden movement, just to name a few..feels very similar to fibromyalgia. Anxiety has really screwed me over once again just when i thought i had it controlled.

Btw, for those who wants someone to talk with or vent to, i will try my best to be there and be of some help as much as possible. Feel free to pm me.. 

Take care all and hang in there


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## reliefseeker

Just to bump up this thread:smile2:


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## reliefseeker

Bump up the thread for awareness.

If anyone would like to join our local support chatgroups do let me know. My no is 97533539 (No calls thanks!)


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## reliefseeker

Bump for more awareness


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## reliefseeker

Hi everyone, I'm back, Jeffery here. Hope yall are doing ok.. Can't believe its been few years since this thread is alive and its been a frickin decade since this thread started to be active. 

This thread truly deserves a bump to the top so that more SG sufferers can be heard and noticed.

Have a nice day


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## N7engineer

herogabby said:


> Hi all, my name is Gabriel, age 35 and I am from Singapore. It has taken me a long time to accept that I’m not normal. I was diagnosed with negative schizophrenia around 5 years ago but was discharged from Institute of Mental Health (IMH) after few months of therapy sessions and given medication to suppress the condition. I took the medication daily for about a year before I decided to stop because I was determined to not depend on meds to suppress the condition all my life. I wanted to take control of it on my own and have been doing so since 2014.
> 
> Lately, I have been feeling extremely depressed.
> 
> I have been in and out of jobs during the past 10 years, never been able to hold on any single job for more than a year, because of schizophrenia, I am unable to form close bonds with colleagues, have short attention span, unable to focus for long periods of time, have speech and body language inconsistencies, low confidence level and extremely introverted personality. I consistently get fired after the 3-6 month probation period.
> 
> I have learnt to adept and improve myself slowly, but evidently it has been very difficult for me and the improvements have been insignificant. I have trained my mind to focus on the positive, to act confidently in front of others when it doesn’t come naturally. I try my best to be more assertive when speaking, but this is still a struggle. I feel lost and unable to speak when I am in large groups of people. I found that it helps to focus on one person when speaking in a group, but I still feel all eyes on me and this makes me feel extremely nervous, and I am not referring to public speaking, but in groups of 4 or more people.
> 
> I volunteered at MINDS Reach out (Reach Out Project (RO)) for about 6 months in 2015. I left because I felt that some of the other volunteers, together with the intellectually disabled people, knew that I was different and some were giving me strange looks, and that made me feel uncomfortable and outcast from the rest.
> 
> It is so depressing to see all my cousins who are younger than me by a few years get married especially during Chinese New Year gatherings, and lead happy, fulfilling lives, to hold down stable jobs and build successful careers while I am getting nowhere in life. Many of my younger cousins and relatives are in managerial positions (some are entrepreneurs) and bought their own condo/HDB while I am still in an entry level position in a small company, where the boss was kind enough to take me in, but honestly I do not think I can even last long in this current job.
> 
> I have made a few close friends over the years, currently only one whom I still contact regularly but he has not been able to help me out of my predicament. Most of them have given up on me over the years, because they do not understand the pain and the mental disease that I have and they have moved on with their happy lives.
> 
> I do not want anyone’s pity; I just want someone to be able to help me cope with life. I have had suicidal thoughts by sleeping pill overdose, but I am afraid of the physical pain. I am not young anymore. I want to lead a normal life, one where I can have good friends to confide in, contribute to society and be a more outgoing person. I just want to be happy, to have supportive friends to make me smile, but I know and almost accept that all of it is wishful thinking.
> 
> I am a Roman Catholic and I have questioned God countless of times why he gave me this cross to carry, when I am not mentally and emotionally strong. I cry myself to sleep almost every night in my room. I just do not know how long I can endure this pain.


Hi there, have you tried art therapy before?


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## reliefseeker

Anyone from SG still active here? I'm previously known as tensedboy. I'd like to get to know more SA sufferers and catch up with long time members. Hope all of you are well.


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## Marvin the human

herogabby said:


> Hi all, my name is Gabriel, age 35 and I am from Singapore. It has taken me a long time to accept that I’m not normal. I was diagnosed with negative schizophrenia around 5 years ago but was discharged from Institute of Mental Health (IMH) after few months of therapy sessions and given medication to suppress the condition. I took the medication daily for about a year before I decided to stop because I was determined to not depend on meds to suppress the condition all my life. I wanted to take control of it on my own and have been doing so since 2014.
> 
> Lately, I have been feeling extremely depressed.
> 
> I have been in and out of jobs during the past 10 years, never been able to hold on any single job for more than a year, because of schizophrenia, I am unable to form close bonds with colleagues, have short attention span, unable to focus for long periods of time, have speech and body language inconsistencies, low confidence level and extremely introverted personality. I consistently get fired after the 3-6 month probation period.
> 
> I have learnt to adept and improve myself slowly, but evidently it has been very difficult for me and the improvements have been insignificant. I have trained my mind to focus on the positive, to act confidently in front of others when it doesn’t come naturally. I try my best to be more assertive when speaking, but this is still a struggle. I feel lost and unable to speak when I am in large groups of people. I found that it helps to focus on one person when speaking in a group, but I still feel all eyes on me and this makes me feel extremely nervous, and I am not referring to public speaking, but in groups of 4 or more people.
> 
> I volunteered at MINDS Reach out (Reach Out Project (RO)) for about 6 months in 2015. I left because I felt that some of the other volunteers, together with the intellectually disabled people, knew that I was different and some were giving me strange looks, and that made me feel uncomfortable and outcast from the rest.
> 
> It is so depressing to see all my cousins who are younger than me by a few years get married especially during Chinese New Year gatherings, and lead happy, fulfilling lives, to hold down stable jobs and build successful careers while I am getting nowhere in life. Many of my younger cousins and relatives are in managerial positions (some are entrepreneurs) and bought their own condo/HDB while I am still in an entry level position in a small company, where the boss was kind enough to take me in, but honestly I do not think I can even last long in this current job.
> 
> I have made a few close friends over the years, currently only one whom I still contact regularly but he has not been able to help me out of my predicament. Most of them have given up on me over the years, because they do not understand the pain and the mental disease that I have and they have moved on with their happy lives.
> 
> I do not want anyone’s pity; I just want someone to be able to help me cope with life. I have had suicidal thoughts by sleeping pill overdose, but I am afraid of the physical pain. I am not young anymore. I want to lead a normal life, one where I can have good friends to confide in, contribute to society and be a more outgoing person. I just want to be happy, to have supportive friends to make me smile, but I know and almost accept that all of it is wishful thinking.
> 
> I am a Roman Catholic and I have questioned God countless of times why he gave me this cross to carry, when I am not mentally and emotionally strong. I cry myself to sleep almost every night in my room. I just do not know how long I can endure this pain.


Hi Gabriel. Good day to you. Thank for the very long heartfelt messages. I am guessing u must be either an infj or infp with HSP as well. I am slightly younger than you but I do suffer from social anxiety as well and I am an infp with HSP. Throughout the years I realised that my social anxiety comes from conflict in my close relationships and my speech disorder which is stuttering as well. My father is a narcissist who would tell his children to go to hell when you go against his wishes. Since secondary school I stutter and my classmates will make fun of my speech.

You mention you have problem speaking to a group of people, I actually do have such problem as well, but I think it is the fear of being judged on your imperfections. Once your mind is able to accept that other people have the choice to react negatively to your speech and it is really not your problem, you are able to transcend. Of course easier said than done. I think the more practical way is to start slow...one step at a time, start with group of 2 to 4 then 8.
*
It is so depressing to see all my cousins who are younger than me by a few years get married especially during Chinese New Year gatherings, and lead happy, fulfilling lives, to hold down stable jobs and build successful careers while I am getting nowhere in life. Many of my younger cousins and relatives are in managerial positions (some are entrepreneurs) and bought their own condo/HDB while I am still in an entry level position in a small company, where the boss was kind enough to take me in, but honestly I do not think I can even last long in this current job.*

Regarding this which is to not compare with others easily...you know why? Because everyone is different, some are born mute deaf and blind, hence there really is no point comparing, best way is to work on yourself and your needs. Extroverts have easier time getting a partner network in their jobs/business to get the most benefits, but everyone is different you can learn and work your way up...as long as you don't stay stagnant.

I do not want anyone’s pity; I just want someone to be able to help me cope with life. I have had suicidal thoughts by sleeping pill overdose, but I am afraid of the physical pain. I am not young anymore. I want to lead a normal life, one where I can have good friends to confide in, contribute to society and be a more outgoing person. I just want to be happy, to have supportive friends to make me smile, but I know and almost accept that all of it is wishful thinking.

Plan your life in actionable steps. Find friends to confide in, join some clubs/activities. But realized that not everyone will support you, and it is really ok. You just need to keep finding. God bless.


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## reliefseeker

Anyone keen to keep in touch? Or maybe have a meet up soon? Been very socially inactive nowadays, kinda lost touch with the outside world...


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## reliefseeker

Bump for more awareness


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