# What elements of SA do you not have anymore?



## Solitario (Aug 28, 2008)

Are there any elements of SA that you used to have but no longer have?

*Eye contact*: I never used to be able to look people in the eye when I talked to them. One day when I was in college, I realized that I _had_ to get over this so I decided that I when I was talking to someone I was going to stare them in the eyes until it didn't have that problem anymore. I forced myself to look people in the eyes whenever I talked to them after that and the problem went away very quickly. I'd say after only a few weeks. I had an interview for an internship a month or so after that and the guy interviewing me even said "I see you've got good eye-contact. That's good".

*Asking girls out*: I never could pursue a girl until I was 24 or so. When I first started dating, I only went out with a girl either because I was setup or because my friends were badgering me to ask a certain girl out. I never could just find a girl on my own and ask her out. I don't have that problem too much now. When I find a girl I'm attracted to and have a good conversation with her, I can ask her out. Now that I've done it I can't believe what ever stopped me in the first place. I guess I just didn't want to take a chance.

*Getting physical with women*: This was very tough for me for a long time. There was one girl I was dating that I couldn't even make out with because I was so scared I would screw up. I even told myself before I'd see her "You've _got_ to make a move tonight!", but when the time came I was just too scared. Once I actually took the chance, it was much easier that I thought it would be. I feel like I wasted a lot of good chances because of my fear.

So what about all of you, what have you overcome?

-Solitario-


----------



## ImAboutToEXPLODE (Nov 20, 2007)

I still have them all.The only change is that i have gotten more cynical and apathetic.


----------



## dullard (Aug 4, 2008)

I haven't completely overcome anything yet but I don't seem to have panic attacks anymore which is nice.


----------



## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

Not sure if I overcame anything yet. Eye contact was never really a problem and the other two, I always have problems with. Probably talking more I guess would be something that isn't as bad anymore.


----------



## Anxiety75 (Feb 10, 2004)

My eye contact is better with a lot of people but then there are those I still can't look at unless spoken directly to me.


----------



## seanybhoy (Mar 2, 2008)

I still have a mild dose of everything lol.
Nah seriously though i have realised that sometimes you just gotta do things regardless of how they make you feel which is easier said than done obviously .
But yeah if i were to wait until i felt ready to do most things then nine times out of ten i wouldn't do them cos i simply wouldn't feel ready.
So yeah the truth of the matter is you gotta do things regardless of how bad it makes you feel if you are to have any sort of a life unfortunately.


----------



## maurice044 (Sep 24, 2008)

seanybhoy said:


> I still have a mild dose of everything lol.
> Nah seriously though i have realised that sometimes you just gotta do things regardless of how they make you feel which is easier said than done obviously .
> But yeah if i were to wait until i felt ready to do most things then nine times out of ten i wouldn't do them cos i simply wouldn't feel ready.
> So yeah the truth of the matter is you gotta do things regardless of how bad it makes you feel if you are to have any sort of a life unfortunately.


i completely agree with you
i used to be afraid of asking girls out too. until last year.. i always just went out with girls that i KNEW liked me instead of taking a chance and trying to talk with a girl i didn't know
most of everything else is still there... but it comes and goes... in some situations i'm perfectly fine and in others i get panick attacks
but its definately easier to talk to people i don't know now


----------



## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

Eye contact, answering the phone, leaving messages, talking to strangers(not hot girls)


----------



## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

I'm a bit more talkative to people i dont know really well and strangers, I'm alot better with using the phone and making eye contact.


----------



## Oxius (Jun 9, 2008)

-I can talk to people that I don't know much better than I used to.

-I can use the Drive-Thru window at fast food places  (I used to be so deathly afraid of this that using a Drive-Thru was never even a possibility in my mind. I used to walk inside and order there.)

-I'm a terrible singer, but now I can sing in front of my friends and siblings. And in my car!  even when there are other drivers around.

That's all I can think of right now.


----------



## kelso (Apr 23, 2008)

Have not had a panic attack for 12 months.
Can go for a walk and when I come across another human being I can smile at them and even say "hello."
I have quit feeling sorry for myself and thinking everything is my fault. This is difficult and you do get a bit cynical but that attitude seems to give me a bit more confidence and I am not such a sook.
I am getting confidence to "get out there and do something."
I no longer fling myself down in a giant fit of dispair when things go wrong.


----------



## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

kelso said:


> Have not had a panic attack for 12 months.
> Can go for a walk and when I come across another human being I can smile at them and even say "hello."
> I have quit feeling sorry for myself and thinking everything is my fault. This is difficult and you do get a bit cynical but that attitude seems to give me a bit more confidence and I am not such a sook.
> I am getting confidence to "get out there and do something."
> I no longer fling myself down in a giant fit of dispair when things go wrong.


:yay Those are huge steps! :yay


----------



## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

Oxius said:


> -I can talk to people that I don't know much better than I used to.
> 
> -I can use the Drive-Thru window at fast food places  (I used to be so deathly afraid of this that using a Drive-Thru was never even a possibility in my mind. I used to walk inside and order there.)
> 
> ...


That's good! I still hestiate to sing in front of people.


----------



## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

Many aspects.


----------



## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

Keith said:


> I'm a bit more talkative to people i dont know really well and strangers, I'm alot better with using the phone and making eye contact.


The phone can be scary. That's good! :yay


----------



## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

ImAboutToEXPLODE said:


> I still have them all.The only change is that i have gotten more cynical and apathetic.


What happened to your irrational and rational beliefs train of thought? Didn't you get a book on CBT?


----------



## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

dullard said:


> I haven't completely overcome anything yet but I don't seem to have panic attacks anymore which is nice.


Oh Gosh. Those are horrible


----------



## kelso (Apr 23, 2008)

Dead right about that SUNSHINE009! One of the things I had to learn, was it is quite alright to feel proud of yourself and strut about patting yourself on the back with your nose in the air (so to speak).
With SA you have to believe in yourself and be mighty proud of even the little steps forward.


----------



## laura03125 (Jan 9, 2008)

everything except presentations and calling people i don't know well, but i never avoid anything anymore.


----------



## creativedissent (Oct 25, 2008)

1. I am able to have more intimate friendships because of my honesty.
2. I am much more confident about how I look and dress. I dress how I like, now how I think will please others. 
3. I can smile and make eye contact. 
4. Today I rounded up a bunch of strangers to help me loft my bed. (I live in a student dorm so I needed guys) Big accomplishment.
5. I can perform in front of people (sing and play guitar). 
6. I am more outspoken. 
7. I can talk about my feelings. 
8. I don't fret over the conflicts I have with my family.


----------

