# Fear of talking on the phone. It's killling me. HELP!



## brookiecookie (May 18, 2011)

So I have social anxiety...obviously, but talking on the phone is something I absolutely DESPISE. I never answer my cell unless I absolutely have to. Even when my friends call, I let it ring...if they leave a voicemail I get back to them, other than that...nothing. My friends think I am ignoring them and being rude.....if only they knew the truth 

WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST TEXT ME MORE. Gosh I feel like such a freak right now.


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## kikiwi (Aug 4, 2010)

OH...i so get where ur coming from. I used to be so terrified of making a call or answering the phone. It is just so frustrating....from me it has gotten much better over the years, by just taking a deep breath an sucking it up.It was Only Thursday i wanted to call my teacher and i found my self just sitting there...watching the phone...i knew i had to make the call but i just couldn't. It took me almost 20mins until i pressed to call button. My best advice is to just keep at it, u know. Keep pushing your self and answer those calls. Trust me when i say ur not alone on this one. If normal people knew some people may not get it (my dad never did) but it's ok. Once ur willing to get through it, i promise u i will get much better.


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## brookiecookie (May 18, 2011)

kikiwi said:


> oh...i so get where ur coming from. I used to be so terrified of making a call or answering the phone. It is just so frustrating....from me it has gotten much better over the years, by just taking a deep breath an sucking it up.it was only thursday i wanted to call my teacher and i found my self just sitting there...watching the phone...i knew i had to make the call but i just couldn't. It took me almost 20mins until i pressed to call button. My best advice is to just keep at it, u know. Keep pushing your self and answer those calls. Trust me when i say ur not alone on this one. If normal people knew some people may not get it (my dad never did) but it's ok. Once ur willing to get through it, i promise u i will get much better.


thank you<3


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

i can help you get over your fear whats your number, we can just do a little chit chat i have a fear of talking over the phone also


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## revoltra (May 26, 2011)

If it's one thing I hate, it's cell phones. I don't like having one, and I certainly don't like using it. No matter who calls I get anxious. I never look at a test right away because it just startles me so much everytime I hear the biip. I only pick up the phone if it's someone "safe". If I don't recognize the number I go to the computer and look it up, half the time it makes me to late to answer. The rare times I do answer when not knowing I stay quiet until the other person say something, and then I decide if i'm gonna answer back or hang up. So yeah the phone thing is deffinetly a big one as far as my anxiety goes.


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## cpuzManiac (May 8, 2011)

i know how you feel. i hate talking on the phone, only time i feel comfortable talking on the phone is with immediate family members. even with friends i feel anxious talking to on the phone.


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## sherbert (Jun 24, 2005)

Here are the reasons that I feel speaking on the phone is so difficult for me (and I suspect many SAers). 

-Spontaneity: When the phone rings, you have to come up with things to say 'on the spot'.
-No visual cues: In person at least you're able to monitor a person's reaction based on their expressions. On the phone you're hanging in 'dead space'
-increased awareness of tone: I am usually self-conscious about my hesitant speech patterns, which is all the more noticeable over the phone. 


I used to pace for ten minutes before I was able to call a stranger. In some circumstances, like job call backs, that can take hours. The most helpful thing has been to create scripts for myself. That carries over to other parts in life as well. If you have an idea of what you might say then it becomes easier. When you're thrown a curve-ball, be friendly, maybe chuckle and figure out how to buy some time. Beating yourself up about stuttering or being incoherent just makes the situation worse. Plow ahead.


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## Oscar7 (May 20, 2011)

Try calling random numbers, brookie. This will help get you exposure. Just ask "Is Beth there" or something. You can think of a less common name. That'll help you! And at least you'll never see them again.


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## sherbert (Jun 24, 2005)

^^^what happen's when Beth is there?? 



"Is Beth there?" "I told you to stop calling!!"


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Just look at it for what it is: a way to exchange information. If there is no information to exchange then it is not a telephone call but a teleprompter! That's all conversations are; ways to exchange information. Which ever way is easiest or most enjoyable always wins. When the conversation is dry you shut up and go A.D.D. and appreciate other things around you. When your on the phone and it gets silent both of you are ending the conversation so just excuse yourself and hang up.


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## Bbpuff (Sep 1, 2010)

I'm in the same boat as you. I absouletly despise talking on the phone. The majority of my friends who've actually wanted to talk to me have all stopped calling, because I always ignore their calls.. x.x; The reason why I hate calling is probably because your expected to keep the conversation going at all times. Whenever an awkward silence breaks in, I panic.. When conversing with people in real life, you're not always expected to talk the whole entire time.. Their is a selected few I feel a bit more comfortable talking to on the phone though.. Like my mom for instance, I really don't mind brief pauses in conversations with her, but even my own brothers I feel uncomfortable talking with, via phone.. Dx


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## maru (May 7, 2011)

I absolutely hate calling people on the phone as well, right now I'm visiting my hometown and staying with my parents and there's some people I know are expecting my call and I'm just not doing it I'm to scared so it seems as if I'm being rude..


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## Infexxion (Jun 29, 2009)

The one thing that helped me get over my phone fear is knowing that I can end it all with a click of a button.


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## Raulz0r (Jun 4, 2011)

I feel you, it's the thought of having to call someone is really breaking my balls


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## Christa25 (Oct 2, 2010)

I used to be the same way. Wasn't too afraid of answering the phone but more afraid of having to call out, but then got offered a really good job as a receptionist and had to suck it up. 
That's what worked for me, being forced into constantly answering the phone and making outgoing calls. I am no longer afraid of the phone.


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

Give me ya 

NumBAHS!!!


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## StarryNights2089 (Jun 22, 2011)

I also get anxious talking on the phone. x.x I fumble over my 
words a lot because I'm so nervous.


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## amberdawn723 (Jun 28, 2011)

revoltra said:


> If it's one thing I hate, it's cell phones. I don't like having one, and I certainly don't like using it. No matter who calls I get anxious. I never look at a test right away because it just startles me so much everytime I hear the biip. I only pick up the phone if it's someone "safe". If I don't recognize the number I go to the computer and look it up, half the time it makes me to late to answer.


:ditto I always let my phone ring and go to voicemail unless it's someone safe (a very short list of relatives). If it's important, I know they'll leave a voicemail. Outgoing calls are difficult too. For instance, I prefer answering the phone when my grandma calls (which happens maybe 4 or 5 times a year). I sometimes force myself to call her like for her birthday (which reminds me, it's coming up this weekend July 1st). But I sit and stare at the phone for a good 10 or 15 minutes before I muster up the courage to press the green dial button. So annoying.....


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## chihuahuagirl (Jun 29, 2011)

I have horrible phone anxiety, it is actually the reason I looked up this forum! I've been trying so hard to overcome it but I am struggling. I hate it because I want to reconnect now with my family and friends, but when I do call they just keep talking about how I never call or answer my phone. It hurts me because I don't want people to think I don't care about them, because I DO, but I know they don't understand. I just want to move past this fear.....


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## SPC (May 14, 2011)

i was ok with talking to friends and family on the phone, but for the better part of my college years i could not talk to strangers on the phone. i spent so much money buying other people takeout on the condition that they made the phone order for me.


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## Poisoned (Jun 28, 2011)

I hate talking on the phone as well. I never answer my phone unless my dad tells me to answer for my mom- which is maybe once a week. I only text, not talk.


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## Phoenix Rising (Jul 7, 2011)

I have the same fear! haha. The one advice I can share is to have a list of fake reasons that you 'have to get off the phone' if you feel panicked. Like you're studying/reading/doing work/etc. or you have to feed your pet or your phone is dying, something like that. Or if they're close enough of a friend you can just tell them that you feel uncomfortable because of an awkward silence and then ask them to either 1.pick a topic or 2. continue the conversation later in person.
hope that helps some!


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

I used to have a little of that fear. But all a phone call is, is sharing random information. If you have no information to add then just wait till the other person is done, and that's a phone call.


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## MarshmallowGuru (Jul 11, 2011)

I have panic attacks when I have to talk on the phone, or when I get a phone call. I get physically sick, then beat myself up about it, over and over again. Not fun.


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## tJt (Jul 16, 2011)

I HATE phones! With a deep passion and for all the reasons listed above. I'm okay talking to a few (very, very select few) people on the phone, but for the most part I get anxious even think about it. But, this last year I took a sub job for 3 months AND HAD to asnwer the phone, make phone class, etc. What worked best was I would practice ahead of time, and even made some scripts (it really sucked the first time a parent went off script!). I still dislike phones, and view them as evil, but my comfort level has increased some. All I can say is, keep trying.


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## Shy Kiwi (Jul 23, 2011)

I know how you feel. I absolutely hate it when the phone rings and I hardly ever answer the phone unless I know its a family member that's calling. My family always tease and ask me why I cant answer a phone and it's hard to explain to them why. And I almost never ring my friends, they always have to ring me


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## JustKittenRightMeow (Jul 25, 2011)

This is exactly how I am except a little worse. I could never call my friends on the phone and when they called, sometimes I was scared to talk on it so I'd ignore their calls. I honestly don't feel comfortable talking to anyone via. phone unless it's my Mom.


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