# The Upside to Not Having a Relationship



## AliceSanKitchen (Aug 31, 2010)

*I figure the upside is... *

*You can do what you want to do when you want to do it.*

*Someone not letting you enjoy what you want to do is annoying.*

*Its not easy finding someone with your interests.*

*Even if you do the share the same interest you still might not be on the same level.*

*According to ones lifestyle, you just might be in a position where being single is the only way you can be truly happy. *

*Even though it seems to suck because you get lonely. *

*But it beats being with someone who wont let you enjoy what you want to do.*

*Less stress.. *

*Less drama.. *

*Equals.. *

*Happier than what you could be.*


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## Blue Bird (Jun 28, 2004)

And there's less pressure to conform to how you're supposed to act or what you're supposed like or do while in a relationship.
I wish I could make my own boyfriend.


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## Relaxation (Jul 12, 2010)

I think the only real advantage of being single is it can give you the time to understand yourself more. No one actually prefers to be alone unless they are anti-social.


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## AK32 (Sep 2, 2010)

You don't have the pressure of constanly disappointing someone.


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## InThe519 (Sep 21, 2009)

All of OP's points - plus relationships are NOT for everyone. Some people like to be on their own and have "casual relationships" along the way.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

I say this as an incurable serial monogamist, but not being in a relationship is much easier than being in one.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

Relaxation said:


> No one actually prefers to be alone unless they are anti-social.


 In this world, being anti-social makes perfect sense.


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## Same Difference (Aug 26, 2010)

melodymuffin said:


> *The Upside to Not Having a Relationship*


This is a comfortable delusion. Although it may seem like that on the outside, no one enjoys being single. The human brain is programmed to seek a mate 24/7.


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## Reptillian (Sep 8, 2010)

Relaxation said:


> I think the only real advantage of being single is it can give you the time to understand yourself more. No one actually prefers to be alone unless they are anti-social.


The better example would be schizoid or they're highly introverted or other. Anti-social is actually the exact opposite of that since the psychological definition of it is basically a psychopath which is a manipulative person with no regards for other people's right.

As someone who used to be a strong extrovert, I'd have to say that there is no real strong advantage other than relating to yourself and understanding yourself more while having more times to do things.

@Same Difference: I'd hate to be around people for too long and I don't see myself with any mate at all since I'm comfortable like that.


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## Misanthropic (Jun 25, 2010)

> No one actually prefers to be alone unless they are anti-social.


You mean a-social, and I do. I hate the idea of living with another human (cats are another matter), I need my privacy and I couldn't deal with having a girlfriend around all the time.


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## Hello22 (Feb 10, 2010)

Less drama and hassle, 

lots of alone time (which i like to have), 

yer own space 

can go places without having to 'answer' to someone, 

and you get a nice double bed to yourself! 

See there's loads!


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## low (Sep 27, 2009)

Save money.


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

-less distraction and i'm able to get things done.

-don't have to feel obligated to do things when i don't want to.

basically, a lot of freedom.


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## Blue Bird (Jun 28, 2004)

Misanthropic said:


> You mean a-social, and I do. I hate the idea of living with another human (cats are another matter), I need my privacy and I couldn't deal with having a girlfriend around all the time.


Me too, I'm afraid if I get married my husband will annoy the heck out of me. I like doing things and having things look/be the way I want. I don't like people all up in my space.


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## Blue Bird (Jun 28, 2004)

Same Difference said:


> This is a comfortable delusion. Although it may seem like that on the outside, no one enjoys being single. The human brain is programmed to seek a mate 24/7.


I must have been deprogrammed....


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## Belshazzar (Apr 12, 2010)

melodymuffin said:


> *But it beats being with someone who wont let you enjoy what you want to do.*


Yes, I can't imagine living like that. I could never live with anyone who tried to put limits on me or whose company I did not enjoy sharing fully.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

You also almost never have to shave your legs. 

As a lazy female, this pleases me.


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## Izzy as pie (Sep 1, 2010)

Cerberus said:


> -more time to try out various different philosophies and world views in an attempt to find self-fulfillment.


Yeah, apparently people aren't into that^ (according to my family). But if not, then so what? There's more to life than finding a mate.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

melodymuffin said:


> *I figure the upside is... *
> 
> *You can do what you want to do when you want to do it.*
> 
> ...


Damn straight! I say amen, except here's the thing, you don't get lonely either!

You make friends. This was one thing I learned the hard way, it's better to be single if you're a person that leads a particular lifestyle that would cause somebody else to call you selfish. But you can't let them say that, they stifle your right to live free and reap what the world has to offer to you, so instead you have close friends. For those who struggle making friends, make some off here (I'm sure there's an abundance of peeps who you can relate to on one level or another (and not such that you need to make a relationship work).

Anyway, freedom is pretty good, and freedom with friendship is even better.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

low said:


> Save money.


Two simple words, oh so true.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

I don't see many upsides, really.. If you're with the right person, a lot of things being mentioned here wouldn't be a problem.

My wallet sure appreciates my singledom though.


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## AK32 (Sep 2, 2010)

For me it was never really about sex, don't get me wrong sex is great. But for me it was more about having someone love me & want to be with me.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

More time to masturbate, did I do it right?


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## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

Things that don't have to be absent when in a relationship, however:
- freedom to do what you will whenever you want and see whomever you want. Being your own person and not having to answer to anyone on your personal time - that is if you're a self-supporting adult.
- yeah, I suppose it's cheaper
- less stress and less drama (at least that's the impression I get from those who have been in relationships...Ugh, the drama! :roll)


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

The upside is, there are no downsides.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

BetaBoy90 said:


> More time to masturbate, did I do it right?


:lol


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## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

Jaiyyson said:


> The upside is, there are no downsides.


Some people are hung up on the security of being in a relationship.


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## StevenGlansberg (Apr 1, 2009)

Sorry, but this is like telling a handicapped person they get awesome parking.


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## JFmtl (Dec 23, 2008)

I guess having more freedom and free time is an advantage, but its harder to fully see the upsides of single life when you havent experience a relationship, with its upsides and downsides


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## AliceSanKitchen (Aug 31, 2010)

Blue Bird said:


> And there's less pressure to conform to how you're supposed to act or what you're supposed like or do while in a relationship.
> I wish I could make my own boyfriend.


The Official Boyfriend X2 2012

hehe.


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## Chairman Dan (Jul 20, 2010)

Besides freely adding copious amounts of chili to the pasta sauce and having complete control of the remote, not much.


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## izzy (Dec 18, 2009)

Not having to hold a fart in.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

sarafinanickelbocker said:


> Some people are hung up on the security of being in a relationship.


I think a lot of people which are afraid of being single are hung up on security. Just because you are not with someone does not mean you should not live the life you want. Took me a little to realise this but after a month of sitting around being bored I realised that I dont have to sit at home. I can go out and do whatever. If you find some interests and hobbies single life is very enjoyable. I have some friends for the social aspect.

I hope to be in a relationship at some point but for now why not enjoy what is in front of me. No point being unhappy for no reason.


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## Brightpaperwarewolf (Oct 16, 2008)

Personally, I like being single to a degree. You don't have to impress someone and live your life free. But then you get into the thoughts of how you wish someone loves and cares for you and how you like another person to share your deepest feelings with. All that upside flashes in an instance.


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## Rayacle (Nov 2, 2009)

[deleted]


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Relaxation said:


> No one actually prefers to be alone unless they are anti-social.


I am feeling myself being slowly pulled towards that realm of living.


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## Fantas Eyes (Mar 23, 2011)

If I suddenly get the means to move out state, I could do so without a second thought.


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## Whatevs (Jan 30, 2011)

Relationships are really more of a pain in the *** than they're really worth.

Don't let your desire to be loved and wanted cloud your vision of just how much bull**** you have to put in a relationship.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

Upsides:

- Not being bullied and pushed around or nagged (though close ex's do/did that to me still)
- Not being told how to look and how to handle hygiene, shaving etc. YOU do NOT ever tell me how to handle my appearance, clothes, accessories, and body
- Lack of all the friggin drama. I'm sure the stress knocked months/years off my lifespan
- Lack of insecurity, wondering when it will end and what will happen to you when it does
- Lack of disappointment through being let down
- Not having to share a bed all the time and get too hot and cramped and suffer their excessive touching or disappointing lack of touching
- Lack of being promised intimacy and let down repeatedly
- Not having to be subjected to disgusting and annoying habits
- Not having to feel trapped when the relationship loses its spark
- Not having to be subjected to people bad at sex who lack passion
- Not having to experience that gut wrenching feeling when you see them crushing on another
- Not having to experience being taken for granted
- Not worrying about your exposed body
- Much less distraction from important tasks


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## lanzman (Jun 14, 2004)

Based on all the heartache, frustrations, disappointments, financial burdens, ect. that relationships have caused the few people I know. At times, I think they're not worth it. You have to find that one in a million person you're compatible with to really make it work. And for the SA person, that meets very few people, it seems an impossible feat anyways.


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## AliceSanKitchen (Aug 31, 2010)

Whatevs said:


> Relationships are really more of a pain in the *** than they're really worth.
> 
> Don't let your desire to be loved and wanted cloud your vision of just how much bull**** you have to put in a relationship.


Duly noted.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Sometimes I think the only reason I want a girlfriend is to say I have one so I don't feel lonely. Sex isn't as important to me as filling loneliness. I've been to the point where relationships had a great chance of happening but didn't. I've also been in instances where I even rejected a few girls (shocking, I know, but isn't something I take pride in). My point is, when I had those opportunities I even had a 100% chance of having one, and when things came into place I did it all because I didn't want to feel lonely. I soon realize that I did it to escape the feelings I have and then resent what I did and yearn for being single again. Truthfully though, if I would of met a girl I had chosen or 100% wanted to be with these things may of been different, but when that happens they are the ones rejecting me. And then, more often than not, after a few dozen rejections later, I just feel contempt with being single again and the cycle repeats itself all over again. Sick game but it's real.


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

For every negative I could come up with I found more than one positive so I suppose I shoudln't post here. Even though I did. It's always been worth all the crap in the long run... even if it just meant that I learned more, matured more, progressed more... and took all that to the next relationship and things were easier/better then next time.

I think the only things that I found were:

Quiet
No Responsibilities


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## JamieHasAnxiety (Feb 15, 2011)

Being able to do whatever you want, when you want.

But honestly, a relationship has too many positives than negatives. Like caflme said, for every negative thing about being in a relationship, theres like 50 positives to it. lol


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## Stile (Jul 26, 2010)

Jamie and Caflme have it right, there are far more positives than negatives to a relationship. I can only think of a few positive things about being single, but they are FAR outweighed by the benefits of being with someone.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

^ Don't you all think it's mostly dependent on who you're with? :um

The main benefits I got out of the business were experience and exposure to a wider social sphere such that I was able to leave home.


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## Donatello (Mar 22, 2011)

The upside to being single - NAKED THURSDAYS

:lol


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

More time to work on my garden gnome collection!


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## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

Blue Bird said:


> And there's less pressure to conform to how you're supposed to act or what you're supposed like or do while in a relationship.
> I wish I could make my own boyfriend.


I kinda wish this too (only for a girlfriend, of course )

I'd give her the voice of Cristina Scabbia from Lacuna Coil


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## JamieHasAnxiety (Feb 15, 2011)

Donatello said:


> The upside to being single - NAKED THURSDAYS
> 
> :lol


The upside of being in a couple, - NAKED THURSDAY- 
ERR, ACTUALLY NAKED EVERYDAY because you have someone to do it with.

Sexy time, all the time..


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## Stilla (May 13, 2009)

Either you end up getting hurt or you end up hurting someone else.
It damages you.

+ the guys that like me always seem to like me for the wrong reasons.
They only want to be with me because either they're lonely or want sex. Often both.

I don't see the point in it all. Everything seems so fake when you're in a relationship.

Being single is a lot less stressful.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

Perfectionist said:


> You also almost never have to shave your legs.
> 
> As a lazy female, this pleases me.


Yes, The pressure to constantly look my best and not repel my SO would be way too exhausting for the little old lazy me...And I KNOW I'd be way too paranoid to just wear any old thing and no make-up around my SO...


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