# I wish I had a close friend. I really do.



## anobody

Hi. Life isn't going so well for me right now.

I'm so tired of being lonely. I'm sure there are many out there who feel the same way at some point of time in their life. It sucks. _Of course. _

As much as I keep telling myself that it's OKAY not to have a close friend and I should just carry on with my life as a loner as usual, I still hope that one day I'll have a true friend. A friend that I can talk to about anything and most importantly, a friend that let me *be myself*.

To be honest, I don't really like myself much but I do not want to change and pretend to be someone I'm not just to be with someone. Everyone is different. I let people be who they want to be. (Not everyone will think the same way as I do which is fine) I always ask myself why would anyone be friends with someone like me? I think I have some good qualities but does it matter? I don't know.

I'm not working/studying at the moment. When I tell people this, they will say that they're so jealous of me. Yeah, it's awesome to have the luxury of time to do whatever you want.

I've been spending the past 5 months at home.

On top of that, I barely have anyone to talk to apart from my family. I know that you can't expect people to magically appear in your life and expect them to stay by your side. Friendship takes time. I'm willing to invest my time in it but I let fear get in the way. I'm too ashamed to even leave my house now.

I've had some internet friends but eventually they'll stop writing back to me  I got to know a few people who live in my area. I met up with them although I thought of backing out so many times. It was very awkward for me to be there. The other girls 'clicked' with each other and I felt like my presence didn't matter. Well you can guess how it turned out. I don't talk to them ever since.

It's so easy to complain but it's the opposite when it comes to fixing the problem. So here I am ranting on this forum because I have nothing much to do. Too much free time is actually a bad thing! What should I do? :bash


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## lostinlife

You and me both...You sound interesting to me actually. I think we have similar life experiences, but I'm older than you. I really wish I could get those years back though, I really do. PM me if you want to talk (can't do that because of my SA but if you take the first step I can meet you halfway.)


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## Dark Jewel

I wish that I could have even just one friend IRL. But I never have...


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## anobody

Dark Jewel said:


> I wish that I could have even just one friend IRL. But I never have...


That was what I wanted too. One friend who cares about you is more than enough.


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## The Library of Emma

i'm sorry. i'm in a similar situation and have basically given up on finding someone who gets me IRL, nothing seems to last.

imho, i'd focus on things that are important to you and building up for the future, set goals, find what interests you. Because at the end of the day, friendships will always have to rely on someone else, but all you can control is yourself. friendlessness isn't a very easy thing, but sometimes there's not too much you can do. I agree, it's more important that you be true to yourself, and i hope you'll find someone who sees that as well.

you can PM me if you want to talk, sounds like we have some things in common.


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## tea111red

Yeah. I really do, too. It'd be nice to feel understood and like someone had my back.


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## tehuti88

Dark Jewel said:


> I wish that I could have even just one friend IRL.





tea111red said:


> Yeah. I really do, too. It'd be nice to feel understood and like someone had my back.


Same. :sigh

I only ever had such a friend IRL when I was around twelve. Have never made another one since; even that one forgot about me and moved on.

I'm lucky to have an online friend (only one, nobody else ever stays interested in me for long)...but she lives on the other side of the country. There's one woman I was casual friends with in school who still lives in my area, and who's expressed interest in getting back in touch more than once, but she never replied to my last two letters...so... -_-

I wish I had advice for you, OP. But I've been seeking such a friend for over twenty years now without luck.


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## Ominous Indeed

I am on tryout to becoming a friend, free only today, but also every other day. Try me out now!


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## Throwaway875411

Sorry for hearing that...

You know, you should try to register on new forums or to go to clubs to meet people, making a close friendships takes time and effort from both sides but in the end, it's worth it. n_n

If you need to talk about anything, PM me, I'll be glad to become your friend. n_n


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## Strawberry41

Can I be your friend T-T


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## michael21

Hello! apologies for replying to this two months afterwards but I completely understand how you feel.

I have friends and have had in the past but my anxiety has led to me distancing myself from them (and extreme cases, falling out with them). My family are here but it's just not the same. I also wish I had someone to talk to.

Feel free to message me if you ever do want to talk though


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## chessman6500

I have the same predicament, I have only one friend irl and he hasn't been contacting me lately, and I don't have any other friends really irl, most of them moved away or are busy with other things. My only relative is my mom, and she is grumpy frequently as she works during the week and feels tired, so I am usually on the computer seven days a week, 16 hours a day. I do go places but if I do its usually to a grocery store or a doctors appointment. I do go to the occasional meetup, but never seem to meet anyone there. I feel very very lonely and misunderstood. I wish there was a way to solve it, but there really isn't. I would say just focus on your interests and hobbies and get a good job, and you can be a person who is self-sustained.


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## littleghost

I think they need something like e-Harmony for platonic relationships for people with anxiety. The computer could find the perfect friend for us and we wouldn't have to talk to lots of random strangers and we wouldn't be so alone.


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## CloudChaser

I'll be your friend. I like friends. 

In fact, I'll take you all on as friends. 

Be my friends.

Assemble in my friend cave.


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## ljubo

littleghost said:


> I think they need something like e-Harmony for platonic relationships for people with anxiety. The computer could find the perfect friend for us and we wouldn't have to talk to lots of random strangers and we wouldn't be so alone.


what if the computer tells that there is no friend for us and no partner aswell. :crying:


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## Elixer

Mannn, I know exactly how you feel. Honestly, after you go for a while without friends it gets harder trying to make friends again cause you get so used to the loneliness. :frown2:


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## criesofsilence

Yeah how do you even make close friends after your 20s. It seems close friends can only really happen if you spent your childhood together, where you shared experiences growing up, know every little detail about each other and had time to form a strong bond. Hope someone can pop into our lives magically!


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