# When is it reasonable to drop out of college?



## Sabreena (Feb 17, 2012)

My anxiety's been getting better thanks to meds and therapy but my grades are ****. (3.8 GPA to like 2.0 or less idk even)

Here's the dilemma: 
1. I'm brown. Literally over 80% of brown kids (the rest get married and start popping out babies early)(That's not an option for me either, as I'm a lesbian. Not that there are any candidates.) go to college and get professional i.e. medical/law degrees. Sooo not only are my parents housing and paying for over half of my education, they (rightfully) expect me to end up with a successful job and life. I'm already disappointing them by being a social wreck, the least I can do is do well in school, right?

Wrong.

I've only had one A the entire year and a half I've been in college, in an English class that was extremely easy because all you had to do was write 2 essays and show up to class.

2. I don't even think I should BE in college. My major (Psych) requires grad school at LEAST to get a good job.

Yet there's nothing else for me to do. I'm forbidden from working minimum wage jobs because I don't "have to", and anyway it's "not good for a girl" to put herself in vulnerable environments. I have no talents or extracurricular commitments. All I do is dick around on the internet. Hell, I don't even have cultural capital as a result of having such a different upbringing than both white Americans and people of my ethnicity. And also living under a rock.

If I take a semester/year/a few years off to "focus on my mental health", my mental health will get WORSE, not better. Because I know myself and no amount of people yelling in my ear is going to get me off my butt unless I want to. And even sometimes when I want to, I self-sabatoge because of laziness/a fear of failure/a fear of success/masochism.

3. Because my grades are so sh*tty, I lost all my financial aid. Enough said. Can't take loans as it's against my religion. COULD ask my parents for money but don't want to do it again, after disappointing them three semesters in a row.

*But what about Disability Support Services? you ask. *

I actually went to my university's DSS today to get the forms for both psychological disability and learning disability. I have SA, depression, and possible ADHD, but who knows which of those is the problem? It sucks how you can hate yourself as much as you want, or shake with anxiety just from being in a room with people, but nobody cares unless it's causing you not to "function" well. Nobody *****ing said "You need special accommodations" in high school when I was making straight A's and 2220 SAT scores between suicide attempts and unhealthy dieting.

Yeah, my reluctance to get educationl help is partly due to denial ("I'm a SmartKid™, I don't need help.") and partly because of disillusionment with the system in general.

I can get it, this fall semester, but is it worth it? Every semester I tell myself things are going to be different, every school year since I was young I've began September with a positive attitude and an airtight plan of action. Only to crash and burn when I can't deal with reality.

If you've read this far, kudos to you for getting through so much self-absorption.

*TL;DR: No money or point of going to college, yet I can't do anything else and my family (understandably) doesn't want me to be a freeloader forever. *
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Fredderika (Mar 27, 2014)

Maybe you should take something else.. a short program that could get you a job right away perhaps.. Go back to psychology after you've worked for a while if you want.
Another suggestion: if you can cut down your course load. Be part-time for a semester or two. Your grades will probably improve. But if you did that, it would make more sense financially if you also had a part-time job.. I think your parents are being overprotective or something, frankly. It's "not good for a girl" to be unable to support herself, either.


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## nothingcounts (May 15, 2015)

I really identify with this (I'm even gay like you haha). My grades dropped terribly after freshman year, mostly due to my total lack of interest in all subjects.
I actually took one year off. You're right, don't do that. It was by far the worst year of my life - I just lied in bed all day, and my parents almost drove me insane. 
I'm back in college now, trying to focus on getting my grades up, despite my laziness, inconstancy and general uninterest. 

Dropping out of college is not something I consider, though. I really have no desire to work a ****ty job for minimum wage, especially not in a country where the minimum wage is around $250/month, even though the cost of living is considerably high. Without a university degree, that is definitely how much money you will be making here!

Good luck!


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## pottyforce (Jul 4, 2015)

College isn't for everyone and if you can find a niche without a college degree then I would just fall back on that instead of finishing college. You have proven you are intelligent but without motivation/effort intelligence means nothing. Your mental state is getting the better of you but I'm not sure sure where you stressors are coming from (you stated your sexuality, reality of pursuing a grad program, or just maintaining a decent grade, ect). I would take off from school or at least be less than half time to be able to afford schooling while working because at this point you "will" have to work while in school because you cannot get financial aid from parents or federal. At the same time this give you alot of time to figure out how to fix or at least stabilize your problems and maybe learn from your job experience(s). 

Don't live out your parent's dreams. If you don't have a passion in psychology/law/medicine then don't do it! Simpe as that. Pursue something you would love to do for the rest of your life. You sound a bit like my brother. He is very intelligent but lost motivation in school because he was pursuing medical/pharmacy school while doing a microbiology degree. I found out he did not have any passion for the medical field and so i told him to switch majors and do whatever makes you feel happy (since I made the mistake in not pursuing my dreams a long time ago). I come from a family where doctors/engineers/pharmacists are seen as extremely prestigious careers. Dont beleive in the hype because more than half of those people within those industries are regretting their career choices with major loans, stresses from the job, and other things. I think reflecting on your interests and switching majors to your liking would maybe put you at ease since then you would be living your life and not your parents. I truly hope for the best for you and hope my advice has helped you!

P.S. Me and my brother loves videogames but I like the entertainment side of it and he likes the programming/design of it. He decided to switch to computer science/programming this summer after his freshmen year. His demeanor has changed for the positive er since and he's really forward to his classes now.


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## pottyforce (Jul 4, 2015)

Sorry I read your #2 again. I highyl recommend you getting a job at wherever because it builds good experience and you will have something on your resume for future reference when building up your career. Also you will know how to deal with people alot better in the professional world.


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## Sabreena (Feb 17, 2012)

Thanks for the responses guys! I don't know what I'm doing yet but I'm in contact with DSS and hopefully we can work something out so I can stay in school, at least part time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hikkikobocchi (Feb 5, 2015)

Oh man. I can identify, at least a bit, especially with 2. I actually DID drop out for mental health reasons. It was a stressful process that cost $2000 (because even though I had a mental breakdown I still have to pay the school for the one week etc. I attended that quarter). Afterward, because I am so scared of job-hunting, I sat at my computer for two quarters as a full-blown NEET. This is all on my parents' bill. Some people will have a hard time out of school if that's all they know, take it from me. My situation got worse, so I've re-enrolled, reluctantly, just for the financial aid and to lessen the guilt. Basically, IF you do drop out, do it after a term is over. Make excuses or whatever, and if you want to stay out of school, slooooowly make it apparent to your parents you aren't returning. Good luck to you.


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