# Do you prefer a male or female counselor?



## Overcome

What is your gender... And what gender do you prefer your counselor to be.

I'm male, but I prefer a female counselor as for some reason I can more comfortably talk to them, although my current one is a guy.


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## BethieeBooBoo

i'm female nd even tho i'm a daddy's girl i thuink i'd prefer female counselor


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## njodis

Geeze, I dunno. Probably a guy.


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## daaaaave

Well I'm new to counseling. I thought I'd prefer a female and still think I might, but I'm happy with my current male counselor.


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## sonya99

Well, I'm not very into counselors at all anymore after three unsuccessful tries with 'em. But I still prefer male. There's just something about female counselors that makes me feel so much worse. No offense to em--it's just me.


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## Half_A_Person

I've never been to counseling, except the ones in schools, but I think I'd prefer a male. The female counselors I've talked to have been so pushy and they just assume they know everything.


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## Inturmal

Female.


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## mserychic

Female. Thanks to my dad I have major trust issues with guys in power positions.


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## Fragmntedsilence

I don't do well with female therapists for some reason. Some of them are too easy to push over, and nothing gets accomplished. Other times I feel like they're too pushy and they rub me the wrong way. Either way, I get annoyed with them and end up being resistant to anything they tell me. If I try therapy again, I'm going to try a male therapist.

Plus I'm really uncomfortable talking about "feelings" and all that stuff with other women. I don't know why. Is that weird?


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## archaic

I'd prefer my counselor be a woman.


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## Noca

Female


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## njodis

Yeah, I changed my mind. I think I'd prefer a woman counselor. :b

Although I've never really had a counselor before, anyway.


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## starblob

j


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## GTI79

I'm a guy and my therapist is a woman, It's real easy for me to be open with her for some reason although in real life talking to women makes me :afr 

My psychiatrist is a man and I'm a little more nervous talking to him.


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## Danu

I'm female and I prefer the same for therapy. I actually wouldn't have it any other way.


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## coldmorning

I prefer female. They just seem easier to talk to. I don't know if it has anything to do with the fact that I grew up with 3 sisters and no brothers.


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## Hoppipolla

My last counselor was a man and even though he's great I feel more comfortable with a woman. Especially since I'm a cry baby when it comes to talking about my SA and I don't feel comfortable crying in front of a woman, so with a man it's a lot harder. 
Also, you could say I'm petrified of the opposite sex... =/


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## Wylass

My first therapist was a man, my current one is a woman. I found it easier to talk to the man, easier to open up and cry in front of him. I have no idea why this is. However, the woman i see now is a better therapist. Her sessions are more informative and helpful, she goes into alot more detail and gives me a better inderstanding of things.


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## shygirlxx

I've had a female one before, and now I have a male. Oddly, I'm more comfortable with the male one. Usually in general I'm less awkward around females though.


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## mbs

i'm a guy, and I think i would rather have a female counselor. not that a male counselor would make me feel uncomfortable, but it just seems that females are more tender hearted or something and make it seem like they really care. haha yeah i'm pretty weird


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## yeah_yeah_yeah

Male


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## ardrum

I've never seen a counselor/therapist, but this is an interesting question. I tend to be more apt to open-up with women out of the belief that they might be more understanding, on average, than your typical male. 

At the same time, in the realm of counselors/therapists, I don't think that standard would apply for me. I don't think I care so much that it would guide my decision of who I'd see. I think I'd go for someone with the most relevant qualifications, regardless of sex.


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## Mamaragan

I'm male and asked for a female therapist, my psychiatrist is also female. I just feel like I can cry/whatever and not be so uncomfortable around women.


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## Vincenzo

Definitely a male. It's sexist but I can't shake the feeling that a woman counsellor would be more nurturing while a male would have a more no-nonsense attitude.


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## xboxfreak

Anyone else want to weigh in on this?

I am thinking about attending counseling and am wondering which I should go with. I am a guy and think I would prefer a female but have never been in therapy before.


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## its_Rob

I'm a male and I prefer talking to female counselors. I'm just more comfortable talking with women for some reason.


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## millenniumman75

I have both - my current doc is a female, mentors are male. It's nice to get her perspective on social stuff and the guys at times, too .


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## CoconutHolder

I'm female and would rather female. As therapists, doctors and even supervisors, I prefer women (in my experience).


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## FairleighCalm

I had a woman. Very nice but there is no way around the biological baggage. Now I prefer males, since I understand my past better.


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## dontcare

I've always gone with females, because as a female I feel uncomfortable telling my whole life story to males


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## Keith

I've had both i dont really have a preference as long as their good. They both have their merits. I used to lean more towards a male therpaist, but now I have a female therapist and she is really good.


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## Indecipherable_Sorrow

Im a female and my therapist is a female and I prefer a female therapist. So Im happy.


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## Reverie

I don't know. I've had two therapists, both women. The first I didn't really dislike, but our sessions were so unhelpful that I quit going. By the time I got back, she had left the practice, and I was assigned to another woman therapist, whom I've grown to rely on a great deal.

Personally, I would say I prefer female therapists because (as a girl) I have issues relating to my female peers. So it gives me the impression that I've achieved some kind of growth, when I can express myself to another woman or accept encouragement and mentoring. If my therapist were male, I would probably chalk up any relief to my usual paternal complex. But my experience (admittedly with only two therapists) tells me that the difference lies mostly in individual approach, which may not be related to gender at all.


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## onehandclapping

I'm a guy, I always felt more comfortable with a female.


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## MeganC

Male.
If I'm paying a sh*tload of money for something that won't help me, I at least want something good to look at.


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## sanspants08

Male, because I'm crazy in some fairly gender-specific ways.


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## dontcare

Hey xbox, did you end up finding a therapist?


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## BrokenDreams

I'm male and could only see a female therapist. 

My biggest fear is talking to an attractive woman, but I was sure I couldn't share my feelings with a guy so I had to go to a female therapist. She turned out to be attractive which inhibited me during my first session, but she is easy to talk to and has helped me a lot. I know I couldn't have told a man the feelings I've shared with her.


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## GreenLantern

I'm male and I just now realized I prefer a female therapist. I had a male therapist once just for an interview session for group therapy and felt a little uncomfortable. When it comes to people in general, I'll open up more to females then I do to males.


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## xboxfreak

dontcare said:


> Hey xbox, did you end up finding a therapist?


Kind of. The place I was recommended to didn't have any openings for about 2 months. I scheduled an appointment (not sure if female or male) for sometime in January. But I checked with my insurance and they don't want to cover it. I can afford to pay out of pocket but I think that money may be spent better elsewhere so I will probably cancel my appointment.


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## nightwalker

female i think. males are too strict i think. females are nicer. i'm female


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## Conquistador

Eh, i guess females so at least if we touch on the subject of dating she being a therapist she might be more prone to tell me what girls like, i mean what they really like from a psychological standpoint, not the whole flowers and chocolates deal.


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## cry_rain

males because the easy to talk to had a female and they are emotional and the talk to fast


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## CopadoMexicano

male


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## sassyinside

I'm female and my therapist is female but my psychiatrist is male. I am more comfortable with my therapist then I am with my psychiatrist. I don't know if it's because she's female or not but I like both my psychiatrist and therapist.


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## DeeperUnderstanding

Male, because there are some things that would be uncomfortable to discuss with a female therapist.


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## bezoomny

I really don't have a preference. Right now I have a female counselor, but I used to have a male psychiatrist and I liked him just fine (switched from seeing a psych to seeing a counselor and an internist).


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## millenniumman75

For the last four years, I have had a female psych and she is really good. Unfortunately, she resigned the day of my last appointment (she resigned BEFORE she saw me :lol). I have to find a new one to start in a few months.


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## bluebells7243

I'm a female and I think I'd like to try a male counselor next. I had a female one before and just didn't like her all that much. She was a bit too pushy and kept trying to tell me that she 'knew how I felt.' Considering she doesn't have sa it got on my nerves.


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## Black_Widow

I've only had one female counsellor before and one female therapist since, but as am currently waiting for further therapy sessions to be made available to me know that I'd rather see a female again. There are some things I just feel a whole lot more comfortable discussing with a female stranger as opposed to a male one - though I'm sure there are just as many good male therapists out there as female.


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## voodoochild16

This is a good question, and sorry to update an old thread but, I prefer male counselors as most of the female ones ive seen were all *****y and didn't really say much to assist with anything. Some can be different but, I just find it easier to speak with a guy therapist.


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## MikeinNirvana

I had a male therapist and I almost punch him lol
I think I should go for a female therapist next time, if she is hot the better, I have no problems to lay it down again.


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## Shredder

I hate defining a person by their gender but it feels like my life is one big paradox so will go ahead and do it anyway. I have to admit that after a year of a male therapist I wanted to try a female. It felt like with the guy, his bravado & ego became a hurdle too high for me to get over. My thought was that I'd have a greater chance finding someone more nurturing and empathic in a female.


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## Shredder

MikeinNirvana said:


> I had a male therapist and I almost punch him lol
> I think I should go for a female therapist next time, if she is hot the better, I have no problems to lay it down again.


If youre worried about how she will look youre better off paying for a hooker!


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## SuzyQ12

I'm a female, but I always prefer a male therapist. I feel closer and more comfortable talking with my dad. So when I will be opening up to someone, I prefer a male because to me it's like a father figure.


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## visualkeirockstar

I prefer a fish counselor.


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## SnowFlakesFire

Female. Since I suffered sexual harassing by men I don't find any point to talk about that stuff with a male.


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## SnowFlakesFire

visualkeirockstar said:


> I prefer a fish counselor.


gold fish?


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## visualkeirockstar

SnowFlakesFire said:


> gold fish?


Yeah.


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## Chappy02

I prefer a female counselor. With a female counselor, I feel like I could relate better with.


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## starsonfire

I thought I'd get along better with a female therapist, but in my experience the female therapists I went to weren't very nice to me. They were quite judgemental actually. 

I remember when I had my mother to call to make an appointment for me cause I wanted to avoid the phone conversation with a stranger. She did and when I went there, the female therapist I had the appointment with couldn't let go of the fact that I didn't call myself. She was pretty much mocking me for it. She got nicer after a couple of appointments, but I thought it was unprofessional of her. If I didn't have problems, I wouldn't be going to a therapist, would I? I've only been to one male therapist and he seemed nice and calm and wasn't hard to talk to.


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## SuperSky

Male. Older females weird me out and I simply can't talk to them. Younger females might be ok, but it's pretty hit and miss.


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## ChuckBrown

I male , I see a female.


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## Colton

I'm a guy and even though I've never had a therapist or councilor I think I would prefer a female.


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## ~Jessie~

I'm a female and I prefer female therapists. However, it really depends on their approach to treating me that really matters. I just feel way more comfortable with the female therapists to open up and relate more about stuff though.


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## gingerlovin

I'm a woman. I prefer a man. I have so many issues interacting with men that it helps me to develop a relationship with a male therapist. It helps that my best therapist (who did Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) was a guy, and I have great memories from that. 

I don't tend to like women. It might be that they remind me of my mother. The ones I've tried always drew very quick conclusions and tried to give me advice immediately, to the point that I was afraid to interrupt them. The women I've met with also raised their voice too much. 

I also notice that the therapists I've liked have been men with PsyD degrees. The women tend to have MSWs, and they don't psychoanalyze so much as try to give me advice. Not all women are like this obviously, just the ones I've met with.


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## BillDauterive

I don't care. Personally, I feel that neither would be able to help me with my problems.


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## WintersEpilogue

Female.


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## TerrySad

starsonfire said:


> I thought I'd get along better with a female therapist, but in my experience the female therapists I went to weren't very nice to me. They were quite judgemental actually.
> 
> I remember when I had my mother to call to make an appointment for me cause I wanted to avoid the phone conversation with a stranger. She did and when I went there, the female therapist I had the appointment with couldn't let go of the fact that I didn't call myself. She was pretty much mocking me for it. She got nicer after a couple of appointments, but I thought it was unprofessional of her. If I didn't have problems, I wouldn't be going to a therapist, would I? I've only been to one male therapist and he seemed nice and calm and wasn't hard to talk to.


This is SO unprofessional of her. This is actually bad. Lol, to mock your patient. I'd feel compassionate for a person, and try to help him not mock him. A lot of therapists hate their jobs and might have little experience, so they might act that stupid. But she might have implied something like that without her own awareness, who knows...


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## jjh87

Male therapist. I feel awkward around women


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## dotBSC

It depends if female is bangable. 

But to be honest, I would say female, as for some reason I find it abit easier to tell her my weaknesses.


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## Mimi SIB

I've had several, all of whom were women except one. I chose a man that particular time because I was having problems with my then boyfriend. My bf agreed to go with me to therapy, which was a surprise unto itself. But anyway, I thought he would open up to a man better.

Turned out the the man therapist was a jerk. We couldn't stand him. We found a woman and loved her. 

I would see a man again if it worked out that way. No preferences. I want an understanding and competent therapist.


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## ThePeon

Male therapist, definitely. Though my psychiatrist is female and she's pretty good. The problem is I have issues with being intimidated by women in general, particularly middle-aged ones, so I doubt I could have one as a regular therapist.


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## Patriot

I say female. Male therapists haven't helped me 10% as much as one female has.


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## Elad

I find females in general much easier to talk to, with men there is a lot of posturing and on some level competing, or trying to prove something to each other no matter what it is. I remember having a male counselor when I was younger, and he seemed so cold and direct. It was probably just him as an individual, but once I changed to a female is was night and day.

I'm sure being brought up my a single mother plays into this somehow, although I never talked to her about much.


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## Anxious2

I've only gone to therapy a few times so far, but I have a female therapist and I find her pretty easy to talk to. I don't think I could have opened up the same way about my feelings with another man.


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## saltyleaf

i'd prefer a woman

older guys are always hitting on you


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## dwonderland

I'm a girl and I have decided to meet up with a woman therapist. I'll just have to wait and see if it goes good or not. I thought opening up to a woman would be easier.


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## WhyEvenBother

Female only because I am one and I couldn't cry in front of a guy


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## forex

i have a female now ..in the beginning i rhought it would be hard to explain things ...and it was especcially the deep stuff she want to know .. Iget stuck or talk in my head without saying a single word ...


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## Phalene

My psychiatrist was a female, also cause when I first had to see her I was 11 or so and totally unable to be around males without panicking. She was amazing and she helped me for 11 years or so. Then I moved out of the country and saw one briefly for panick attacks and she was nice; then I moved again and saw one that was also nice but too Irish for me - some therapists here seem to be on the holistic/religious side of things and I don't like that. She was super caring but always wanted us to go back to the topic of my mother and I had enough, and it was so pricy I couldn't really afford it every week.

Maybe I should see a male now, but just the idea freaks me out a bit.


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## lucy33

I like to face it by myself, but probably don't mind as long as they know what they are talking about


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## tennislover84

Wow, I see this is a reaaaally old thread. :b I've never seen a counselor, but I can talk about the the therapists and psychiatrists I've seen.

Anyway for me, it completely depends on the person. I've just been asked this question recently. It was regarding a "support worker", who is supposed to help me get outside, doing normal things more often. I was asked if I wanted a man or a woman, but I didn't feel I could answer because I've had mixed experiences with both genders.

Instinctively, I wanted to say that I'd prefer a woman. I don't feel like I can open up about my emotions to stoic, macho men. It feels like they're going to judge me negatively for not being "manly" enough. But then again, most men in caring professions are not likely to fit that stereotype, although I've met some who do. But some of the worst experiences I've had with the mental health service have been with women. I've had some female therapists and psychiatrists, who were borderline nasty and hurtful. So I think it depends entirely on the individual, and it's not fair to generalise.

In fact, I've just realised that the two male therapists I've seen (including my current one), made me feel safer than anybody else. Although I've seen one really good female therapist also. I guess I'm just prejudiced, because my instinctive preference for female therapists doesn't fit my real world experiences. :blank


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## Milco

I've had pretty bad experiences with both genders, but I think I'd have to say I prefer women.
Too many of the men have seemed impatient and seemed to have a rather stereotypical view of guys my age as just needing a kick in the rear and being provoked into change, which just doesn't fit me at all.


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## Ventura

I'd prefer a female counselor


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## PurrPanther

Male. I find them more rational.


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## Mrslivinlife

Women ftw... I just find them more nurturing..women have those motherly instincts


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## Nanami

I'm a girl and I've had a female counselor. I really liked her and felt comfortable talking to her. I'm about to start seeing a male counselor. I chose him because his picture looked like a nice guy, ( I won't pick anyone male or female who looks intimidating in the least) I liked what I read in his about me section and talking to him through email about setting up an appointment (there was a problem) he sounded nice to me. As long as I'm comfortable with their personality I don't care if it's a female or male.


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## To22

Now that I think about it, a female would probably be better. I didn't get very far with the female therapist I had though.


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## Lelii046

Female. I have nothing against males...I'd just feel uncomfortable getting personal with a male therapist for some reason. And most female counselors I've had were able to give more insight.


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## TheSilentWhovian

I'm a girl, and although I have always thought that I'd be more comfortable talking to a male therapist, my current one is female and she's pretty good. I think it's that women (stereotypically) are more talkative and caring and so with people with anxiety (me anyway) she encourages me to talk and helps me when I struggle. I thought I'd prefer a male though because of the whole father figure idea, but when it comes to talking to the opposite sex I get nervous lol. Unless I speak to them as friends (as opposed to potential bf) I find it easier as girls are more *****y and judgemental (stereotypically - not all girls are like that, like my (few) friends). My SA basically isn't limited to any certain demographic group lol


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## lockS

Female, I feel more comfortable around women.


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## Paperboy

I would rather have a female one. And a hot one if possible.


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## Steinerz

i am thinking female.


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## PandaBearx

Female, I've had a male therapist before and he wasn't bad, but I've found female therapists to be more understanding.


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## cybernaut

I really do not care to be honest.


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## Hannahcat

I prefer female, but that's because I have trouble being around men since I worked for a man who sexually harassed me for like 3 years.. I think, if I didn't have that issue though, I'd still prefer a female. Although honestly I think if the male was a good person/ good listener I doubt I'd have a problem speaking to them.


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## sociallyawkward85

for me its easier to talk to female counselors


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## Steinerz

A female counselor. More comfortable. Men tend to be more judgemental I feel.


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## laura024

I feel more comfortable with a male counselor. It's easier for me to open up to them because I don't feel judged.


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## hoddesdon

I would definitely prefer either a male or female counsellor.


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## Secret Sparkplug

I prefer men but have usually talked to women. I guess they feel fatherly or something.


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## Brainstorm

I'm a guy, with a female counselor, which I prefer as well. For some reason I feel like they take my emotions more seriously.


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## Soundboy

Female Ovi


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## bbnn

iam a male and i would ask for a female. starting soon.


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## thebadshepard

a hot female one. that bites a pencil as i tell her stuff.

in all seriousness a female one, women are usually more tender and less threatening. 

peace


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## Yer Blues

Female. It doesn't really matter though as I'm going to be focused on improving my mental health, not oogling the therapist. I just think women are usually more empathetic.


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## thebadshepard

Yer Blues said:


> Female. It doesn't really matter though as I'm going to be focused on improving my mental health, not oogling the therapist. I just think women are usually more empathetic.


but you're supposed to try to give your therapist the d. you're all alone, you can lock the door, and there is confidentiality.


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## AngelFallen

Doesn't matter. As long as their able to help me.


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## Letmebe

I am a girl (though gender fluid) and if male must be uncle/grandpa old and resemble my childhood specialist for my epilepsy (He was the only doctor I had who really cared and would take me off pills if side effects got bad fast, and the only one I truly trusted), otherwise must be female and in her thirties or early forties with blonde or brunette hair and should resemble my childhood CBT or sensory integration therapists and be sort of like them..

It's weird but I do not open up unless these conditions are met, thankfully my CBT meets the second set of criteria.


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## senrab

female


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## Mikebissle

Male here; I don't have a preference for a male/female counselor, but I prefer older over younger.


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## Janos

I'm male and would rather a female. I do not trust men in general.


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## Wulfgar

I dont see psychiatrists anymore and I stopped taking medication...it never really did me any good and the last guy I went to was kind of a prick...seems like he was always looking down his nose at me and judging...I already feel like a worthless loser on a daily basis and then having the one person whose supposed "pretend" like they understand me just look at me like im a ****ing bum really made me feel even worse...and the receptionist woman at the front desk was kind of a haughty *****....but I was sent to a female psychiatrist when I was 14 but that before I really needed help so I didnt really open up to her and was just recommended to another as a result...she was nice though...kind of a middle-aged hippy woman...anyway so yeah, I think i'd prefer to see a female rather than a male psychiatrist because I feel like men have a harsh way of judging eachother as weak in certain ways...


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## MurrayJ

I'd prefer a female person, they are better with the talking


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## Boulder257

I am male. I always thought I would have prefered a female, but having experienced both I really like the man I am seeing now. He really seems to listen to what I am saying and tries to relate as well. He is really awesome to talk to.


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## MrOblivious

I'm male and have only ever had a male councelor. I've always been shy around girls so I'm assuming it would be the same if I had a female councelor.


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## Evo1114

I'd much prefer having a female counselor. It is actually easier for me to talk to women than it is dudes for whatever reason.


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## inerameia

Female. I feel the one I talked to is more sympathetic than my current male therapist. Although I guess he's helpful in some ways...


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## Anonymous Loner

Female. Especially older female counselors. I feel more comfortable with counselors who are forty or over because they kind of fill in that void of me never having a very good mother and me never meeting either of my grandmothers. Also, I find it easier to open up to females because they seem to care more and have better replies.


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## blu xo

I used to be so uncomfortable around guys, my female therapist had suggested seeing a male therapist when she had to leave. I did, but I felt I learned a lot more from my female therapist. It was just so hard for me to open up to the male therapist. Didn't work out. If I were to see a therapist again, I'll probably stick with a female.


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## Leucoryx

I like both, but I like go with male, he tend to be direct and analytic when approaching my problem, his a little cold but honest and knows what I'm having. 

With the female, she is more caring and heartwarming, but too much niceness made me feel awful & guilty. I'm optimistic but I don't want to get emotional and ironically I'm sensitive.


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## vela

Female.. I had a male therapist once, and it was a horrible experience. I just couldn't talk to him. And then he became confrontational about me not opening up to him? That's when I fired him. lol


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## SunshineRayy

Female. I have "daddy issues", that manifest themselves in ways I won't talk about. Hahaha.

xoxo


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## Mania

Definitely female. I don't like bonding with adult men.


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## zstandig

I'd prefer a male, I have trouble relating and communicating with women for some reason.


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## NoHobbies

Both are awkward. I had one male therapist that would say weird things. He invited on his boat. He told me to go to the little league field and watch little league games. He asked about my masturbation habits.


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## VeMuñeca

Female. I've had male and female counselors, but I feel more at ease with the females.


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