# Pushing people away



## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Are you afraid of people getting too close to you (and too quickly)? If so, are trust issues involved?


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Yes, because it seems like the more interested a person is in getting to know me, the quicker they'll lose interest (seriously--the people who excitedly bombard me with questions and comments about how, say, my writing changed their life, I never hear from them again :| ), and even almost all of the ones I spent a good deal of time getting to know and trust ended up either turning on me really viciously, or forgetting I exist, or sometimes even both. -_- (For example, was in touch with one guy online and via snail mail for years, then out of the blue he just decided to stop writing to me. Was still always logged online on a site we both belonged to, just not communicating with me. Never did find out why.)

I have really crappy luck keeping friends, or else really crappy taste in choosing who to trust. :sigh

Needless to say I've developed serious abandonment issues, and I know from experience that people hate "clingers," so it's better/easier to just keep everyone at a distance. Yeah, I'll still be painfully lonely...but at least I won't be hurt again.


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## rockyraccoon (Dec 13, 2010)

I do yeah. But for me it's not the fear of rejection that bothers me. What bothers me is the fear of acceptance. Because if I were accepted by a girl I would be in a state of socialization, which would further an increase in my anxiety thus making me nervous. For years this was the attitude I had; however, I am trying to get over this. Lately I have had a boost in confidence so I guess I am more receptive to the idea of having a girlfriend.


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## a degree of freedom (Sep 28, 2011)

I don't think people can get closer to me any faster than the natural rate at which I let people in or form bonds. I'm really not sure if I'm more or less trusting than the average. Trust is proportional to the relative damage possible from betraying it, but mostly I don't feel like people can do a lot of damage so it can seem like I'm trusting them when really I just don't think a lot is on the line. That might be because I form emotional bonds very slowly and not often very strongly. I have mixed feelings about whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. I guess I don't know.


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## LilMeRich (Jun 2, 2017)

I feel like an interesting person and would love to share it with others. I tend to reveal bits of information of myself in stages, however because I like letting friends find out the real 'me' I push people away as they think I'm dull for not being up front straight away. 
In my view it's better to find things about others over time rather than put your eggs in one place. 

More recently I haven't got close to anyone to push them away.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

Yes, trust no one...

Everyone I ever trusted in my entire life has hurt me in some form emotionally and/or physically.

I'm tired of being hurt, it's time to respect and lookout for myself more.

It's.... All I Have...


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## Deaf Mute (Jun 12, 2017)

Yeh, especially if I like the persons. It's easier to be more open on here because other people suffer similar experiences and can understand, irl however I tip-toe and try to maintain some distance.


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## harletta (Nov 4, 2012)

Someone I knew a few years ago said that I pushed people away once, but I don't agree with that. I've never felt close to anyone at any point in my life.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

Whenever that happens to me, it is usually because they want something from me. When they know they won't get it, they just vanished and evaporated from humanity.


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## insertannonusernamehere (Aug 19, 2017)

yes, I constantly push people away whenever they want to be closer. I'm not sure why though. The people I push away are people that I really admire. I am afraid that they will want me to be one of their may friends and I find it hard to be friends with people who have friends. Then you become some sort of social group and that freaks me out.


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