# Just a rant/venting thread



## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

This is just a thread for me to vent things out, but feel free to react or give any advice on it. 

So, most of the things happened yesterday and today. Whatever I do, whether it be making fries or vaccuuming at home, I always do it wrong according to my mother and brother. And, they let me know on a very rude and hard way. I'm like: "Why not do it yourself then?" But obviously, I don't say that, I don't say anything back at them. They jus put me into the ground, and I can't defend myself since they just fall back on the whole situation we now have. 

It just frustrates me, and makes me sad at the same time. I already know I'm worth nothing, but why do they have to keep reminding me everytime? It's like I am forgetting it but I'm not, you can't forget who you are. 

Sometimes I wish I was never born.


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## thinkstoomuch103 (Nov 28, 2017)

:hug


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## Lohikaarme (Aug 28, 2013)

EarthDominator said:


> So, most of the things happened yesterday and today. Whatever I do, whether it be making fries or vaccuuming at home, I always do it wrong according to my mother and brother. And, they let me know on a very rude and hard way. I'm like: "Why not do it yourself then?" But obviously, I don't say that, I don't say anything back at them. They jus put me into the ground, and I can't defend myself since they just fall back on the whole situation we now have.
> 
> It just frustrates me, and makes me sad at the same time. I already know I'm worth nothing, but why do they have to keep reminding me everytime? It's like I am forgetting it but I'm not, you can't forget who you are.
> 
> Sometimes I wish I was never born.


Why don't you try saying something back for once then, and see what happens? It's never too late to stand up for yourself.

Nobody has the authority to make you feel less than, not even family members.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

I thought you was moving out?


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

thinkstoomuch103 said:


> :hug


Thank you. I did not expect so much reactions on my thread. :um



Lohikaarme said:


> Why don't you try saying something back for once then, and see what happens? It's never too late to stand up for yourself.
> 
> Nobody has the authority to make you feel less than, not even family members.


I did, or tried to against my brother. But he then falls back on the situation that "I have caused and is only my fault". And for my mother, I'm not even going to try. I'm fed up with my mother right now, she demanded to know what was said about her at the psychologist appointment, which I refused. And following up I'm dumb and not thinking clearly because I'm 18.

I know, but I recognise myself as worthless. A wurm has more meaning to life than I do. :roll



Kevin001 said:


> I thought you was moving out?


I'm still orientating for it, it's far from done right now. I'm doing all I can. :sigh


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## mindfullescape (Dec 29, 2017)

EarthDominator said:


> So, most of the things happened yesterday and today. Whatever I do, whether it be making fries or vaccuuming at home, I always do it wrong according to my mother and brother. And, they let me know on a very rude and hard way. I'm like: "Why not do it yourself then?" But obviously, I don't say that, I don't say anything back at them. They jus put me into the ground, and I can't defend myself since they just fall back on the whole situation we now have.
> 
> It just frustrates me, and makes me sad at the same time. I already know I'm worth nothing, but why do they have to keep reminding me everytime? It's like I am forgetting it but I'm not, you can't forget who you are.
> 
> Sometimes I wish I was never born.


I've been experiencing the same power struggle at home with my family... :frown2: 
Why not stand up for yourself for once? It's worth a try rather than bottling your emotions. It's definitely not easy to do but have a confidence in yourself. _*No one has the power to make you feel inferior. Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth. *_Give yourself more credit. You are worth something.


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## Lohikaarme (Aug 28, 2013)

EarthDominator said:


> I did, or tried to against my brother. But he then falls back on the situation that "I have caused and is only my fault". And for my mother, I'm not even going to try. I'm fed up with my mother right now, she demanded to know what was said about her at the psychologist appointment, which I refused. And following up I'm dumb and not thinking clearly because I'm 18.
> 
> I know, but I recognise myself as worthless. A wurm has more meaning to life than I do. :roll


Come on, don't be like that. That's not true :hug


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## LadyApathy (Dec 2, 2014)

My mom is sometimes like that too. For example, I’ll be helping her with house chores and she always manages to find something to criticize me on. It’s like “damn mom, way to boost my ego...not!”. I know I’m pretty useless most of the time but sometimes I feel like she’s exaggerating. I know I’m not that bad at doing certain things but she just likes to exaggerate and make it seem like I’m horrible and other people in my family will even tell her that she’s exaggerating and that I’m actually doing the stuff right. So maybe your family is exaggerating too. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

mindfullescape said:


> I've been experiencing the same power struggle at home with my family... :frown2:
> Why not stand up for yourself for once? It's worth a try rather than bottling your emotions. It's definitely not easy to do but have a confidence in yourself. _*No one has the power to make you feel inferior. Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth. *_Give yourself more credit. You are worth something.


Yeah, as I posted above here I tried once, with backfiring results. And, I don't see how I am special or worth something.



Lohikaarme said:


> Come on, don't be like that. That's not true :hug


As I said above, I just don't see how. For example, if I'd be gone or die next day, no one except my friends over the internet would miss me. And after a few months, I would be totally forgotten.

If you could name anything that makes me worth at least something, because all I see is a waste of space in the society. :/


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

LadyApathy said:


> My mom is sometimes like that too. For example, I'll be helping her with house chores and she always manages to find something to criticize me on. It's like "damn mom, way to boost my ego...not!". I know I'm pretty useless most of the time but sometimes I feel like she's exaggerating. I know I'm not that bad at doing certain things but she just likes to exaggerate and make it seem like I'm horrible and other people in my family will even tell her that she's exaggerating and that I'm actually doing the stuff right. So maybe your family is exaggerating too.
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I do my best I can, but she sometimes asks me to do something, and before I got the chance to do it (and sometimes even say anything back) she calls me lazy and does it herself.

I wonder how it would be like to have a normal life, but sadly I won't experience that.


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## Ms kim (May 15, 2017)

You are worth a lot to God. Please put your trust in Him and He will guide you and help you.

You don't have to do anything to be useful to God. Your worth is not based on anything you do its based on your trust in God. All who call upon God are special to Him.

He loves you just the way you are.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

They're probably the reason you think you're worthless and you should move out as soon as you can.


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## Caramon (Dec 30, 2017)

EarthDominator said:


> Yeah, as I posted above here I tried once, with backfiring results. And, I don't see how I am special or worth something.
> 
> As I said above, I just don't see how. For example, if I'd be gone or die next day, no one except my friends over the internet would miss me. And after a few months, I would be totally forgotten.
> 
> If you could name anything that makes me worth at least something because all I see is a waste of space in the society. :/


As far as I know, there is no method of defending yourself. Medication seems to be the best treatment for this.


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## bostonsFinest (Dec 30, 2017)

LadyApathy said:


> My mom is sometimes like that too. For example, I'll be helping her with house chores and she always manages to find something to criticize me on. It's like "damn mom, way to boost my ego...not!". I know I'm pretty useless most of the time but sometimes I feel like she's exaggerating. I know I'm not that bad at doing certain things but she just likes to exaggerate and make it seem like I'm horrible and other people in my family will even tell her that she's exaggerating and that I'm actually doing the stuff right. So maybe your family is exaggerating too.
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Sorry to hear that about your mom. Some people just really get a kick out of knocking others down a peg. It's good that the other members of the family kind of have your back, though.

Sent from my SM-J727U using Tapatalk


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

Ms kim said:


> You are worth a lot to God. Please put your trust in Him and He will guide you and help you.
> 
> You don't have to do anything to be useful to God. Your worth is not based on anything you do its based on your trust in God. All who call upon God are special to Him.
> 
> He loves you just the way you are.


Sorry, but I'm not religious. And, to me praying to a 'God' is a waste of time in my opinion.



Persephone The Dread said:


> They're probably the reason you think you're worthless and you should move out as soon as you can.


I'm working on that, but as I said earlier I'm still orientating. And even the psychologist said it would be better if I'd move out.



Caramon said:


> As far as I know, there is no method of defending yourself. Medication seems to be the best treatment for this.


I already had an appointment last thursday, and one following up next week on friday. So, time is just slowing things down right now for me, have to wait alot.


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## MagnoliaForest (Dec 29, 2017)

My my my..

There is a story I read. I believe you'd enjoy reading this.

Two twin brothers have an alcoholic father. One grew up an alcoholic because of his father. The other doesn't drink alcohol because of his father. Same father. Different story.

You can change your story, too. Do not let pain dictate your worth. In fact, you will come out far kinder than those who's put you down.

Hurt people hurt people. Be the bigger adult and let them be kids.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

MagnoliaForest said:


> My my my..
> 
> There is a story I read. I believe you'd enjoy reading this.
> 
> ...


Do you not think I didn't try that? It's hard to cope when no one next to you is on your side, especially when you're always surrounded by people who make you feel bad, hurt you etc.

Besides that, how would you deal with suicial tendicies because of that situation? (Not that I'm suicidal at the moment)


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## MagnoliaForest (Dec 29, 2017)

Apologies if that offends you. I was only trying to help. 



EarthDominator said:


> Do you not think I didn't try that? It's hard to cope when no one next to you is on your side, especially when you're always surrounded by people who make you feel bad, hurt you etc.
> 
> Besides that, how would you deal with suicial tendicies because of that situation? (Not that I'm suicidal at the moment)


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## MagnoliaForest (Dec 29, 2017)

My history aside, Earth..

I sought ways to feel better in my early twenties. The best advice was from a psychologist on YouTube who said, "Teach your mother how to love by showing her."

And suicidal tendencies? Remove those harsh words you've picked up from others and start saying better words to yourself.

I know you're hurt. Anger is hurt unresolved.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

MagnoliaForest said:


> Apologies if that offends you. I was only trying to help.


No no no, it didn't offend me at all. In fact, I can actually relate to that story of the twin brothers, it's a exact resemblance of my brother and I. Except we're not twin brothers.



MagnoliaForest said:


> My history aside, Earth..
> 
> I sought ways to feel better in my early twenties. The best advice was from a psychologist on YouTube who said, "Teach your mother how to love by showing her."
> 
> ...


I tried to talk with my mother in a private manner, I tried to talk and show her what's wrong with the homesituation with help of an organization, and she dismisses every claim, shoving the blame in my own shoes.

I did not picked them up from others, I've been suicidal two times already, one almost commiting it.


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## MagnoliaForest (Dec 29, 2017)

Not everyone is ready to change. Believe me, I've tried with people. What I tell myself is that although I can't change them, I can change myself.

I had suicidal ideation. What saved me are the positive words I tell myself every day.



EarthDominator said:


> No no no, it didn't offend me at all. In fact, I can actually relate to that story of the twin brothers, it's a exact resemblance of my brother and I. Except we're not twin brothers.
> 
> I tried to talk with my mother in a private manner, I tried to talk and show her what's wrong with the homesituation with help of an organization, and she dismisses every claim, shoving the blame in my own shoes.
> 
> I did not picked them up from others, I've been suicidal two times already, one almost commiting it.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

MagnoliaForest said:


> Not everyone is ready to change. Believe me, I've tried with people. What I tell myself is that although I can't change them, I can change myself.
> 
> I had suicidal ideation. What saved me are the positive words I tell myself every day.


Then I would change to someone I am not. They want me to be a 18 year old guy that I am just not, I'm different then what they want. In my family, they expect you to (when you're 18 ) drink alcohol and have a girlfriend. I don't want to drink alcohol due to some private reasons, and I don't have a girlfriend and I'll never have one too.

And because of that, I don't count. Plus am I asked if I'm gay, while I'm not but as I said above, I'm not made to attract girls.


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## MagnoliaForest (Dec 29, 2017)

You don't have to change to please them. Change for yourself. For any problem to be a problem, they have to be permanent. You don't have to live with your parents when you're 30. You have more power than you realise. 

I know this answer will sound unbelievable but when you're doing your own thing and enjoying life, you'll naturally draw women to you.

Let's get you to a positive environment first and the rest will come.

However, please stop bashing yourself from this point on. Believe me, the harsh words that you say to yourself don't have to occupy your brain. If I tell you not to imagine a purple fuzzy elephant, your brain will imagine it. You get what you pay most attention to.



EarthDominator said:


> Then I would change to someone I am not. They want me to be a 18 year old guy that I am just not, I'm different then what they want. In my family, they expect you to (when you're 18) drink alcohol and have a girlfriend. I don't want to drink alcohol due to some private reasons, and I don't have a girlfriend and I'll never have one too.
> 
> And because of that, I don't count. Plus am I asked if I'm gay, while I'm not but as I said above, I'm not made to attract girls.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

MagnoliaForest said:


> You don't have to change to please them. Change for yourself. For any problem to be a problem, they have to be permanent. You don't have to live with your parents when you're 30. You have more power than you realise.
> 
> I know this answer will sound unbelievable but when you're doing your own thing and enjoying life, you'll naturally draw women to you.
> 
> ...


Well, I'm trying to move out, but it's still in an early stage. Not sure if my mother will allow me to go.

Not me, I'm just human enough to have friends, but not relationships. Never in my life was a girl attracted to me in any way, and they never will be. But that part isn't bothering me anymore, I already accepted it.

The harsh words you are referring to, are realistic words.


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## MagnoliaForest (Dec 29, 2017)

The harsh words you say to yourself may be realistic to you, but one day that lucky lady you attract will think otherwise. That's why it's important to change the way you view yourself. You don't have to date, if you so choose. I will say that compared to the days I would mentally beat myself up and cry myself to sleep, to now, I'd definitely choose now.

Give telling yourself positive words a try. I want you to say out loud, "I am enough the way I am" even if it feels silly. When you say it everyday for a month, you'll feel so much better.



EarthDominator said:


> Well, I'm trying to move out, but it's still in an early stage. Not sure if my mother will allow me to go.
> 
> Not me, I'm just human enough to have friends, but not relationships. Never in my life was a girl attracted to me in any way, and they never will be. But that part isn't bothering me anymore, I already accepted it.
> 
> The harsh words you are referring to, are realistic words.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

MagnoliaForest said:


> The harsh words you say to yourself may be realistic to you, but one day that lucky lady you attract will think otherwise. That's why it's important to change the way you view yourself. You don't have to date, if you so choose. I will say that compared to the days I would mentally beat myself up and cry myself to sleep, to now, I'd definitely choose now.
> 
> Give telling yourself positive words a try. I want you to say out loud, "I am enough the way I am" even if it feels silly. When you say it everyday for a month, you'll feel so much better.


No, they will not. Girls want attractive, muscular guys, not monster like me. I'm excepted from any relationships, but I can deal with that. Luckily, I'm good enough to have friends, that's what counts for me right now. It's kind of you that you want me to believe otherwise, but it's the way it is.

I heard that before, but I still think it's arrogant and selfish to do so. Besides that, I don't have any special feats that make me good enough for anything really.


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## MagnoliaForest (Dec 29, 2017)

I think what is deemed attractive depends on the person.

There are things you can't change and there are things you can. If you want to look muscular, you could.

Self love isn't arrogant. In fact, only when you love yourself that you could surround yourself around people who love you. Also, when you love yourself, you're able to love others. The reason for this is because, let's say that you found a girlfriend. Who's to say that you won't sabotage the relationship because you don't think you deserve it?

I often see potential in people. I see lots in you.



EarthDominator said:


> No, they will not. Girls want attractive, muscular guys, not monster like me. I'm excepted from any relationships, but I can deal with that. Luckily, I'm good enough to have friends, that's what counts for me right now. It's kind of you that you want me to believe otherwise, but it's the way it is.
> 
> I heard that before, but I still think it's arrogant and selfish to do so. Besides that, I don't have any special feats that make me good enough for anything really.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

MagnoliaForest said:


> I think what is deemed attractive depends on the person.
> 
> There are things you can't change and there are things you can. If you want to look muscular, you could.
> 
> ...


I know attractiveness is different for every person, but the majority of the girls (as far as I know) want muscular and pretty faces. I can be muscular, but I will never be handsome in any way.

I still don't know alot about the concept of "Self-love", but I won't need it any way. I know I'm worthless in every aspect. Why would you love and dedicate yourself to a grey rock, right?


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## MagnoliaForest (Dec 29, 2017)

What's your definition of handsome?

Anyway, why would you want someone who judge you by only your appearance? There are plenty of women who would prefer personality over looks.. maybe you're meeting them in wrong places. 

If you were worthless, you wouldn't know how to come to this site. Worthless to me means a person who can't do anything. Well, obviously you know how to make your way here and formulate sentences, as well as fry fries and vacuum. They may not like how you fry your fries, but you're eating it, not them.



EarthDominator said:


> I know attractiveness is different for every person, but the majority of the girls (as far as I know) want muscular and pretty faces. I can be muscular, but I will never be handsome in any way.
> 
> I still don't know alot about the concept of "Self-love", but I won't need it any way. I know I'm worthless in every aspect. Why would you love and dedicate yourself to a grey rock, right?


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

MagnoliaForest said:


> What's your definition of handsome?
> 
> Anyway, why would you want someone who judge you by only your appearance? There are plenty of women who would prefer personality over looks.. maybe you're meeting them in wrong places.
> 
> If you were worthless, you wouldn't know how to come to this site. Worthless to me means a person who can't do anything. Well, obviously you know how to make your way here and formulate sentences, as well as fry fries and vacuum. They may not like how you fry your fries, but you're eating it, not them.


You mean for girls or how girls like guys?

Well, isn't that what counts for girls? I mean, I know some girls who say different but in the end no one would want to walk with a monster across the street. And I already met some girls/women, despite the fact that they live far away, they all say that I will meet someone who likes me. But they all say that. :?

But those are things everything can (and should be able) to do. I'm talking about special feats, like olympic athletes, actors, prime-ministers etc etc. I got nothing, I'm just me.

And well, my brother had to eat the fries as well but he ordered me to make them. So I did, and it wasn't good enough.


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## MagnoliaForest (Dec 29, 2017)

What do you mean by monster? You've mentioned that a few times. Unless you have 100 eyes on your head and trigger the trypophobia in me, I wouldn't call you a monster no matter the circumstance, neither would anyone who deserve to be in your life.

And haha I'm sorry for laughing but I doubt anyone here is an athlete or prime minister. You're aiming a tad high there. If I were any of those, I would be too busy to frequent this website.

Have you considered asking your brother to show you how to fry the fries? Anyway, I'm sorry your brother boss you around.



EarthDominator said:


> You mean for girls or how girls like guys?
> 
> Well, isn't that what counts for girls? I mean, I know some girls who say different but in the end no one would want to walk with a monster across the street. And I already met some girls/women, despite the fact that they live far away, they all say that I will meet someone who likes me. But they all say that. :?
> 
> ...


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

MagnoliaForest said:


> What do you mean by monster? You've mentioned that a few times. Unless you have 100 eyes on your head and trigger the trypophobia in me, I wouldn't call you a monster no matter the circumstance, neither would anyone who deserve to be in your life.
> 
> And haha I'm sorry for laughing but I doubt anyone here is an athlete or prime minister. You're aiming a tad high there. If I were any of those, I would be too busy to frequent this website.
> 
> Have you considered asking your brother to show you how to fry the fries? Anyway, I'm sorry your brother boss you around.


I look like one, I'm just handsome enough to have friends, but that's it. And my personality is a monster as well. :/

Well, those were just some rought examples, but I'm not special. If I'd be gone my existence would be forgotten in a few months.

Sort of, I said he'd make the fries himself if he knew better than me, but he refused. No one ever told me actually, we got a new sort "air fryer" and it was the first time for me to use it. And he always bosses me around, I can't go against it since he would go to my mother, despite the fact he's younger than me.


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## MagnoliaForest (Dec 29, 2017)

You don't have to be a monster. Has anyone called you one?

You don't have to be special, or a famous person to have the right to be alive. You were born here for a reason, that's how I see it.

How much younger is your brother to you? Does your mother always side with your brother?



EarthDominator said:


> I look like one, I'm just handsome enough to have friends, but that's it. And my personality is a monster as well. :/
> 
> Well, those were just some rought examples, but I'm not special. If I'd be gone my existence would be forgotten in a few months.
> 
> Sort of, I said he'd make the fries himself if he knew better than me, but he refused. No one ever told me actually, we got a new sort "air fryer" and it was the first time for me to use it. And he always bosses me around, I can't go against it since he would go to my mother, despite the fact he's younger than me.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

MagnoliaForest said:


> You don't have to be a monster. Has anyone called you one?
> 
> You don't have to be special, or a famous person to have the right to be alive. You were born here for a reason, that's how I see it.
> 
> How much younger is your brother to you? Does your mother always side with your brother?


I did. I see myself as one. I look like a wendigo from Until Dawn.

Everyone is special in their own way...except for me. I'm no one.

He's 16, 2 years younger. And yes, she does. Only in extremely rare occasions she sides with me, which hasn't happened for weeks.


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## MagnoliaForest (Dec 29, 2017)

I don't think it's possible for you to look like Wendigo even if you wished to look like him. You're exaggerating :smile2:

If you keep telling yourself that you're no one, you will become no one. My words or anyone else's won't matter if you won't believe them. I will say that I see potential in you as well as happiness. 



EarthDominator said:


> I did. I see myself as one. I look like a wendigo from Until Dawn.
> 
> Everyone is special in their own way...except for me. I'm no one.
> 
> He's 16, 2 years younger. And yes, she does. Only in extremely rare occasions she sides with me, which hasn't happened for weeks.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

MagnoliaForest said:


> I don't think it's possible for you to look like Wendigo even if you wished to look like him. You're exaggerating :smile2:
> 
> If you keep telling yourself that you're no one, you will become no one. My words or anyone else's won't matter if you won't believe them. I will say that I see potential in you as well as happiness.


But I do look like them, I just know it. Even though my friends say different, I never had actual confirmation from anyone near me. :/

But I already am no one. Well, I'm me but I'm not good enough for anything.


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## MagnoliaForest (Dec 29, 2017)

So if your friends tell you differently, do you think they're lying?

I used to be like you. It happens rarely but sometimes I hate how I look. Anyway, my face is not as bad as I think it is.

You're good at something. I know it. New Year is almost here. You know, you could change one thing and that is thinking you are enough and believing that. 

I'm going to ask you to do something for me.. you could say no but it would make me happy if you do it. 



EarthDominator said:


> But I do look like them, I just know it. Even though my friends say different, I never had actual confirmation from anyone near me. :/
> 
> But I already am no one. Well, I'm me but I'm not good enough for anything.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

MagnoliaForest said:


> So if your friends tell you differently, do you think they're lying?
> 
> I used to be like you. It happens rarely but sometimes I hate how I look. Anyway, my face is not as bad as I think it is.
> 
> ...


Not necessarily lying, just to make me feel better.

Mines is, sadly. But it's who I am, can't change that.

Well, I don't know what I'm good at. There is always someone better than me. Like my mother praises my brother for doing things that I could've done with ease as well, but he always gets credit. If I would carry a heavy box as example, I would do so with ease and put it down where it belongs and no one says a word. If my brother does it, they all thank him and tell him he's strong. It's like I'm invisible. :/

What is it?


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## MagnoliaForest (Dec 29, 2017)

It sounds like you're the black sheep of the family..



EarthDominator said:


> Not necessarily lying, just to make me feel better.
> 
> Mines is, sadly. But it's who I am, can't change that.
> 
> ...


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

MagnoliaForest said:


> It sounds like you're the black sheep of the family..


I think that might be true, I'm not entirely familiar with the concept but, it's quite good possible.

Even now, the energy to cope with everything has dropped rapidly. Mainly now, because my mother told the family about the situation, which means that I now have to defend my point of view against the whole family. Yesterday evening I got asked by 4 people simultaneously why I'm not going to festivals yet, or any disco's (or anything alike).

It's stressing me out, and makes me utterly sad, I can't even explain it with words.

I'm not sure how long I can keep this up, if it continues like this everytime I see my family, I don't think I will continue to choose to live. :rain


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## MagnoliaForest (Dec 29, 2017)

Did your mother tell the family that you want to move out?

Have you explained to your family that you aren't interested in going to festivals or discos? They might be trying to have you join them it sounds like. They could have good intentions but just explain to them that you don't feel comfortable going and to respect your decision.



EarthDominator said:


> I think that might be true, I'm not entirely familiar with the concept but, it's quite good possible.
> 
> Even now, the energy to cope with everything has dropped rapidly. Mainly now, because my mother told the family about the situation, which means that I now have to defend my point of view against the whole family. Yesterday evening I got asked by 4 people simultaneously why I'm not going to festivals yet, or any disco's (or anything alike).
> 
> ...


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

MagnoliaForest said:


> Did your mother tell the family that you want to move out?
> 
> Have you explained to your family that you aren't interested in going to festivals or discos? They might be trying to have you join them it sounds like. They could have good intentions but just explain to them that you don't feel comfortable going and to respect your decision.


No one, except the people here who are helping me (doctor, psychologist and the neighbourhoodteam). But, she told the whole family what *SHE* thinks is the problem, which is gaming. But she thinks whenever a guy is behind his laptop (around my age) that he's gaming. While I talk with some friends online, listen to music etc.

And even now, I'm getting bored by games. :roll I wish my friends over the internet lived closer.

And I tried to talk with them, obviously, but the outcome was that I was labeled as a guy who likes nothing, so I guess that's who I am now then.

Yep, great life this. :crying:


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

I get your situation. To me it seems more like your mom and brother that made them try to force ways to critique you for every little irrelevant thing that you do. It is likely their way to project their insecurities towards you. 

You not standing up for yourself, I take it might be your subconscious fearing of arguments and the stress that comes along with it. Because you know your mother and brother will just argue back and the whole situation becomes worse. You feeling like it's just not worth it. Is this why? Honestly this is a very rationale approach, as much as I hate to say it.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

Blue Dino said:


> I get your situation. To me it seems more like your mom and brother that made them try to force ways to critique you for every little irrelevant thing that you do. It is likely their way to project their insecurities towards you.
> 
> You not standing up for yourself, I take it might be your subconscious fearing of arguments and the stress that comes along with it. Because you know your mother and brother will just argue back and the whole situation becomes worse. You feeling like it's just not worth it. Is this why? Honestly this is a very rationale approach, as much as I hate to say it.


Well, I'm not a mind-reader so I don't know what they are both thinking inside their heads. But it's like to hate the gut out of me, and maybe they do actually. If I do something wrong, whether it be bad vacuuming or pouring a drink in the wrong type of glass (yes, even that small), I get insults to my head. And when I do something perfectly perfect (weird English, sorry), then they always have their commentary ready for what I can do better. And most of the times I hear from my mother what my brother can and what I can't. He gets most attention to develop his own stuff, like cooking as an example. I never really did, hence why I can't cook.

I rather quit contact with them, but since we're in the same house that's kind of impossible to do so. Not entirely sure how much longer I can keep this up though.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

EarthDominator said:


> Well, I'm not a mind-reader so I don't know what they are both thinking inside their heads. But it's like to hate the gut out of me, and maybe they do actually. If I do something wrong, whether it be bad vacuuming or pouring a drink in the wrong type of glass (yes, even that small), I get insults to my head. And when I do something perfectly perfect (weird English, sorry), then they always have their commentary ready for what I can do better. And most of the times I hear from my mother what my brother can and what I can't. He gets most attention to develop his own stuff, like cooking as an example. I never really did, hence why I can't cook.
> 
> I rather quit contact with them, but since we're in the same house that's kind of impossible to do so. Not entirely sure how much longer I can keep this up though.


Sounds like to me they really are just critiquing you and insulting you just for the sake of it. Chances are you can do something right in their eyes, they will force themselves to think it is wrong just so they can critique and insult you. You go left, you critique you for not going right. You go right, they critique you for not going left. You go left and right, they critique you for not going up. This really ruins a person and force themselves to box themselves in. If you quit contact with them, they will probably blame you for alienation.

I really have no advice for you sadly. Sorry to hear about your situation. Just stay strong. And hopefully you are able to get yourself away from them sometime in the future.


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## MagnoliaForest (Dec 29, 2017)

Most people like people who are like them. When someone is different, it could be a threat because most people are afraid of the unknown.

It sounds like she doesn't like you using your laptop and managed to critique you in other areas of your life. Does your brother use his laptop?



EarthDominator said:


> No one, except the people here who are helping me (doctor, psychologist and the neighbourhoodteam). But, she told the whole family what *SHE* thinks is the problem, which is gaming. But she thinks whenever a guy is behind his laptop (around my age) that he's gaming. While I talk with some friends online, listen to music etc.
> 
> And even now, I'm getting bored by games. :roll I wish my friends over the internet lived closer.
> 
> ...


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## 629753 (Apr 7, 2015)

Eh, people dont really want to change and that frustrates me.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

Blue Dino said:


> Sounds like to me they really are just critiquing you and insulting you just for the sake of it. Chances are you can do something right in their eyes, they will force themselves to think it is wrong just so they can critique and insult you. You go left, you critique you for not going right. You go right, they critique you for not going left. You go left and right, they critique you for not going up. This really ruins a person and force themselves to box themselves in. If you quit contact with them, they will probably blame you for alienation.
> 
> I really have no advice for you sadly. Sorry to hear about your situation. Just stay strong. And hopefully you are able to get yourself away from them sometime in the future.


Yeah, it's exactly like that. But quitting contact with them doesn't sound bad to me to be honest. Although I can't live on my own, I do not need their companionship. I feel lonely even when they are around, so that won't change.

That's fine, thank you for taking the time to respond though.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

MagnoliaForest said:


> Most people like people who are like them. When someone is different, it could be a threat because most people are afraid of the unknown.
> 
> It sounds like she doesn't like you using your laptop and managed to critique you in other areas of your life. Does your brother use his laptop?


Yes, my brother uses his laptop at almost the exact amount of time as I do. (With here and there maybe an 1 hour of difference.) And throughout the week, when school and all begins again, he's more on his laptop than I am. Sometimes, there are days I'm never on my laptop because I simply don't have the time for it.

I'm constantly talked to about my laptop-use, and my brother can do whatever he wants. :frown2:


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

impedido10 said:


> Eh, people dont really want to change and that frustrates me.


Well, with me it's not about changing here. It's about seeing the truth, and they put every single blame into my shoes.


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## MagnoliaForest (Dec 29, 2017)

I'm not sure why she's targeting you only. That's got to not feel good.

Anyhow, your worth isn't reliant on their judgement of you. Your mother is clearly playing favoritism from what you're telling us..



EarthDominator said:


> Yes, my brother uses his laptop at almost the exact amount of time as I do. (With here and there maybe an 1 hour of difference.) And throughout the week, when school and all begins again, he's more on his laptop than I am. Sometimes, there are days I'm never on my laptop because I simply don't have the time for it.
> 
> I'm constantly talked to about my laptop-use, and my brother can do whatever he wants. :frown2:


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

MagnoliaForest said:


> I'm not sure why she's targeting you only. That's got to not feel good.
> 
> Anyhow, your worth isn't reliant on their judgement of you. Your mother is clearly playing favoritism from what you're telling us..


I don't know either, maybe because I'm not good enough in her point of view.

Well, they are the only people who actually judge me in real life. And I never heard anything positive, so I must be a bad person then.


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## MagnoliaForest (Dec 29, 2017)

Maybe bad to her, but you're not bad. Your mother probably have issues she has to deal with and none of it has anything to do with you.

As long as you know you're good enough, none of the opinions outside of you matter.



EarthDominator said:


> I don't know either, maybe because I'm not good enough in her point of view.
> 
> Well, they are the only people who actually judge me in real life. And I never heard anything positive, so I must be a bad person then.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

MagnoliaForest said:


> Maybe bad to her, but you're not bad. Your mother probably have issues she has to deal with and none of it has anything to do with you.
> 
> As long as you know you're good enough, none of the opinions outside of you matter.


But I know I'm not good enough, for anything. I'm only me.


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## MagnoliaForest (Dec 29, 2017)

The reason you don't think you're enough is because you think it. Time to think you are enough, Earth. 



EarthDominator said:


> But I know I'm not good enough, for anything. I'm only me.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

MagnoliaForest said:


> The reason you don't think you're enough is because you think it. Time to think you are enough, Earth.


But, what makes me special? I don't see how I'm good for anything, sorry. :?


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## MagnoliaForest (Dec 29, 2017)

The answer is in you. 

I think you're intelligent. You're kind. You're hurt but you'll become stronger from these hiccups life threw at you.



EarthDominator said:


> But, what makes me special? I don't see how I'm good for anything, sorry. :?


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

MagnoliaForest said:


> The answer is in you.
> 
> I think you're intelligent. You're kind. You're hurt but you'll become stronger from these hiccups life threw at you.


The answer is in me? You got to help me understand that phrase, I don't really get it. :/

Intelligent? I'm always told I'm dumb here. And same goes for being kind, I only get told that I'm lazy and rude here.

I'm sorry, I know you want to help me but I don't think it's in it for me.


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## MagnoliaForest (Dec 29, 2017)

I know it's hard for you to believe. However, I speak what I see.



EarthDominator said:


> The answer is in me? You got to help me understand that phrase, I don't really get it. :/
> 
> Intelligent? I'm always told I'm dumb here. And same goes for being kind, I only get told that I'm lazy and rude here.
> 
> I'm sorry, I know you want to help me but I don't think it's in it for me.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

MagnoliaForest said:


> I know it's hard for you to believe. However, I speak what I see.


Thank you, but I don't want to sound rude but you don't know me as a person. (It sounds very rude but I don't intend it like that.)


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## MagnoliaForest (Dec 29, 2017)

How are you as a person?

I hope I don't sound fake. 



EarthDominator said:


> Thank you, but I don't want to sound rude but you don't know me as a person. (It sounds very rude but I don't intend it like that.)


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

MagnoliaForest said:


> How are you as a person?
> 
> I hope I don't sound fake.


Uhm, I don't know actually. I'm not good at anything really. Uhhh...:con

Maybe ask @jolene23 , maybe she can help me a bit here.


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## Lohikaarme (Aug 28, 2013)

EarthDominator said:


> Uhm, I don't know actually. I'm not good at anything really. Uhhh...:con


You don't have to excel at something to have the right to live your life, to try out things until you find something you enjoy doing. Some people aren't good at anything in their early 20's (Remember you are 18. You still have potential to eventually be good at something someday). As a matter of fact, many -now successful- people's early career paths were littered with failures. Excellence without hardship doesn't exist.

I don't believe for a second that you're worthless.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

Lohikaarme said:


> You don't have to excel at something to have the right to live your life, to try out things until you find something you enjoy doing. Some people aren't good at anything in their early 20's (Remember you are 18. You still have potential to eventually be good at something someday). As a matter of fact, many -now successful- people's early career paths were littered with failures. Excellence without hardship doesn't exist.
> 
> I don't believe for a second that you're worthless.


That's not how it works here in my family. I probably said this a few times now, so I'm sorry if I'm saying some old things. But, being 18 (in my family) means you need to have or to be:

- Something you're good at (most of the times this is football)
- Have a girlfriend
- Be like the rest of the family members (which is hard for me considering I got tons of problems)

So, because I got qualify for basically none of these points, I don't count. That's why I'm worthless. Only things I'm working on right now for myself is getting stronger and in physical shape, plus learning fighting techniques.


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## jolene23 (Nov 23, 2017)

EarthDominator said:


> MagnoliaForest said:
> 
> 
> > How are you as a person?
> ...


You are smart, kind and funny person. I don't understand why you can't see good things about yourself. And there is definitely nothing wrong with your physical appearance (I saw pictures so you can't say anything  )


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

jolene23 said:


> You are smart, kind and funny person. I don't understand why you can't see good things about yourself. And there is definitely nothing wrong with your physical appearance (I saw pictures so you can't say anything  )


I don't see how I'm these kind of things. I just can't see it. :/

And my looks, yeah let's not start about that.


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## Lohikaarme (Aug 28, 2013)

jolene23 said:


> You are smart, kind and funny person. I don't understand why you can't see good things about yourself. And there is definitely nothing wrong with your physical appearance (I saw pictures so you can't say anything  )


I've been saying this for ages lol. Good to know someone else sees it as well


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## Skygrinder (Nov 30, 2017)

Lohikaarme said:


> You don't have to excel at something to have the right to live your life, to try out things until you find something you enjoy doing. Some people aren't good at anything in their early 20's


Or you know, their late 20s.

/me _*Shudders*_ .__.


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## jolene23 (Nov 23, 2017)

Lohikaarme said:


> I've been saying this for ages lol. Good to know someone else sees it as well


If only he could see the same, and tell his brother, who is in puberty, to calm his raging emotions and hormones.


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## MagnoliaForest (Dec 29, 2017)

Well, there you go. o.o :grin2:



jolene23 said:


> You are smart, kind and funny person. I don't understand why you can't see good things about yourself. And there is definitely nothing wrong with your physical appearance (I saw pictures so you can't say anything  )


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