# Depression. is it a choice?



## katiebird (Sep 25, 2011)

I was reading from a book and there was this quote in it that kind of stood out to me. Unfortunately I returned the book to the library so I can't remember the quote itself 100% but it pretty much stated that: depression is a choice, even though one may deny it.. and lately I've been thinking about this quite a lot and thought I'd see what others opinions were on it.... Personally I think it is but isnt, like everyone wants to be happy and everyone in life has ups and downs so why would anyone choose to be sad, but im thinking depression is more like a vicous cycle that's hard to break, and it's definatly more of a mindset so you either remain to be in that state or not thats the choice, but I wonder sometimes if certain people are more likely to stay in that depression even though they want to be happy but just can't, like what if you know your life is perfect and your getting out and doing things yet for some reason you feel somethings wrong?.. idk I'm just ranting now, I always change my mind what I think about depression


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

in a way it kinda is for me cause im to depressed to do **** to get out of my depresssion but i try


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## FTFADIA (Jul 26, 2011)

I kind of feel like its a bit of a choice sometimes. By that I mean you can do things to make the depression lessen but it's a lot of work. For me if I get out of the house, do the things I enjoy, work out, try meeting new people, read books on overcoming depression, and just not sit around staying in my head I feel better. But it's hard for me to keep up the motivation, I eventually need a break from reading depression material, going out etc and that's when I start getting depressed again. 

In a way it's like dieting. I can eat clean for a while then I'll crave that cheeseburger and then all self control is gone. Like dieting I need to find a way where I can allow myself to cheat every once in a while and not fall off the wagon. 

After writing all that I guess I'm confused myself whether it's a choice or not. I'm not sure if I choose not to stay motivated and do the things needed to overcome depression or that I just physically/mentally can't.


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## Jcgrey (Feb 5, 2011)

No.


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## kev (Jan 28, 2005)

the author is an idiot


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## caseyblue (Oct 3, 2011)

I disagree. I don't think depression is a choice. I think how you deal with your depression is up to you but when it hits you its very overwhelming.


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## CoreyX (May 19, 2011)

I agree to some extent. A lot of things in your life you have no control over, and they can make you depressed. You can't just chose to be happy if your life sucks ***, or like if your parent dies or something happens. You can't control when your sad, being optimistic isn't enough. Emotions aren't controllable. And some do have chronic mental problems. But I do agree that a lot of people could benefit with trying to work out the problems in their life as oppose to taking antidepressants.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

I'm depressed. I don't care that I'm depressed. I don't care to talk to anyone about my depression. I don't care if I get better. I don't care if I get worse. I don't care if I die tomorrow or 80 years from now. 

Is this all a choice? I don't know -- I don't care about that, either.

- "You're depressed. Why don't you choose to do something about it?"
- "Whatever, I don't care."


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## FTFADIA (Jul 26, 2011)

caseyblue said:


> I disagree. I don't think depression is a choice. I think how you deal with your depression is up to you but when it hits you its very overwhelming.


This. You put what I was trying to say in 3 paragraphs into 2 sentences haha well done.


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## roses6 (Sep 6, 2011)

I wish it was a choice but I don't think it is. I find it really annoying when people dismiss mental illnesses that way.


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## MrMongrel (Oct 21, 2011)

katiebird said:


> I was reading from a book and there was this quote in it that kind of stood out to me. Unfortunately I returned the book to the library so I can't remember the quote itself 100% but it pretty much stated that: depression is a choice, even though one may deny it.. and lately I've been thinking about this quite a lot and thought I'd see what others opinions were on it....


If you had asked me this 10 years ago? I would have said that it wasn't a choice.

After a lot of events in my life, and a lot of hypnotherapy, self reflection, and lifestyle improvements, however, I DO see that it is a choice, and here's why:

While things may make you depressed and upset, you can only control certain factors in life.

You can't change the weather, you can't change the wind, but you are the only person that is in charge of your emotions and reactions to the world around you.

Ever hear the phrase 'The world is 99% the way that you percieve it?'

Never have more true words been spoken.

You choose to react to things that bother you, or to not react and simply brush those things off.

There are things in life that we can't control, and worrying about those is a waste of time, as we can't change them.

As for reacting to other people?

No one has power over me. No one controls me and no one has priority over my happiness but me.

If I gave someone power over me, they could upset me, but no one deserves that, as that is meant for moi and moi alone :boogie
​


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## alwaysmistaken (Aug 25, 2011)

Wise words MrMongrel.


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## Meli24R (Dec 9, 2008)

I think some people can make the choice to try to improve or eliminate their depression with simple lifestyle choices, but there is also such a thing as chemical depression. The brain is very complex and there's no reason to think that it can't seriously malfunction like any other organ. I've gone through depressive episodes even when things were going great. It really felt like a switch was flipped in my brain because I would be feeling fine or even happy one day and then the next I'd feel completely lifeless, unable to find joy in anything and full of despair for no reason.
Do people with all other mental illnesses (like bipolar disorder or schizophrenia) choose to be the way that they are? And if they make every effort to get better and seek treatment and still don't improve(like it or not the reality is not everyone does) should they be blamed for their illnesses?


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

Whether or not you *try* to get over depression is a choice. Being depressed is not a choice, given that getting out of depression is very difficult. It is not like flipping a light switch. If it were as easy as the notion "depression is a choice" implies, it would not be a mental illness.

Would you say getting an A+ average in university is a choice? How about getting your dream job? Is being a professional actor a choice? They are all like recovering from depression, the effect of hard work, hope and perseverance. They also may require a bit of luck.


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## someguy8 (Sep 10, 2010)

Stuff is complicated.


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## Selbbin (Aug 10, 2010)

I suppose blindness is a choice too.


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## beagleman (May 27, 2011)

Depression is not a choice. I just came out of a hospital clinic after spending 2 weeks getting treatment for major depression. I have been trying hard for about 12 months to get out of depression through psychologist counselling, psychiatrist, medications, exercise, etc. Many people try very hard to get out of depression but fail. In hospital i rediscovered mindfullness through my occupational therapist, and i learned quickly I was not staying in the present but my mind wandering every where. This has helped me but I am still very depressed. At this stage i am trying to manage my depression and accept that to change my thoughts will be a difficult task. So no, I dont think people keep them selves depressed but I do think if I did not try very hard I would probably stay in depression a lot longer. I have been a loner for a long time and now I am trying to establish a network of friends and support. We4 need to help each other.


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## kev (Jan 28, 2005)

My original post was a little harsh, but there are a couple reasons I said it, just to clarify:

- To say "depression is a choice" is often used as an attack against people who are suffering. Some people may not intend it this way but many people do and even when it's not intended this way, the depressed person will take it as an attack (so why bother saying it?)

- People have control over their actions, but nobody (okay except masochists maybe) chooses to be depressed.

- "Depression is a choice" is a phrase used to attract attention and controversy - it has a propaganda-like feel to it - and I have no respect for an author who uses those kind of emotionally-charged words

- "Depression is a choice" can lead to unjust victim-blaming... to say that no one should be affected by what anyone says and that you have a choice to ignore what anyone says is just a well-concealed form of victim-blaming, even if it is not intentional. It is a false statement since people are very profoundly affected by what other people think and say. It is simply human nature and to deny it is overly idealistic.

Edit: One last thing I forgot to mention - even though I cannot prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt, I do believe that biological depression is real. 

Okay, I've said my piece.


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## princessdarkness (Feb 2, 2011)

partially true,because you can change your perception and when you change it,you'll feel different.


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## WalkingDisaster (Nov 27, 2010)

I don't ever remember choosing to be depressed, only choosing to acknowledge that what I have may be depression. As for choosing to "stop" being depressed, that is not possible for me, and believe me, I've tried. You can say to have a "positive outlook", but at the end of the day I'll still look around and see that I'm stuck in my house on the ****ing internet while everyone I know is out having fun with each other, and they're all happy, and there's an invisible wall that blocks me from talking to anyone, even my own friends eventually. When I see this it is practically impossible to maintain a positive outlook.


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## WalkingDisaster (Nov 27, 2010)

I blame the emo movement for trivialising depression, leading to the inevitable backlash of "depression is a choice". For emos they feel they "have" to be depressed to fit in with their friends. I've seen people turn to this because their friends did and they don't want to be left out. It just makes it difficult for people to spot a genuine case amongst all of the pretenders.


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## Steelfox (Nov 10, 2003)

For me it was a choice, but emotions are different for me then most people. For over 20 years I was depressed because logic and society told me that with all that was wrong in my life I should be depressed. A couple of years ago I decided that I didn't want to feel like that anymore and I haven't been depressed since. I still have plenty of reason to be depressed and sometimes I still get down about things but I am not depressed anymore.


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## LynnNBoys (Jul 13, 2011)

caseyblue said:


> I disagree. I don't think depression is a choice. I think how you deal with your depression is up to you but when it hits you its very overwhelming.





FTFADIA said:


> This. You put what I was trying to say in 3 paragraphs into 2 sentences haha well done.


I agree with both if you. I have a choice to go to therapy or not go to therapy. I have a choice to try different anti-depressants or not (and no, even the best meds are not a cure-all). I have a choice to go to exercise class, which helps me fight the depression naturally (tho motivation and energy level can get in the way of this).

I cannot, however, choose to just "snap out of it." Depression itself is not a choice. For me, depression doesn't have a reason--it's biological or a chemical imbalance or genetic. Society overuses and misuses the term "depression" and that's why people are led to believe that it's a choice and that those with true depression can just snap out it.


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## art of pretension (Oct 26, 2011)

I don't think it's a choice at all, surely no-one would chose to be tormented like this.

What i do think is a choice however is deciding you don't want this to ruin your life and to make the choice to get help and deal with it best you can.


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## BlazingLazer (Jul 16, 2011)

Perhaps that author was trying to imply a different point as well (being depressed and reacting to your depression are two different things - which I think people were hoping we would not be able to distinguish), but I can't help but suspect that he was trying to go about another way to say "Stop whining! Snap out of it already! Yes, it's that simple!".


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## BKrakow (Jul 8, 2010)

I promise it's not a choice. yes, some people don't take constructive steps to make it better, but many people don't understand how incredibly difficult it is to be constructive with the weight of depression on your back. it's a feeling that I don't think you can even really describe to someone who hasn't experienced it.

I believe I have dysthymia, probably due to genetic factors and the environment I grew up in, because I've dealt with chronic depression since my early teen years. I exercise regularly, take supplements, meditate, have changed my diet for the better, had multiple blood tests over the course of a few years to see if my problem is physical rather than mental, tried therapy, read self-help books, use music and writing to relieve my symptoms when they're really bad...yet I'm still not "normal," and it's sure as hell not from lack of trying. the only thing I haven't tried is prescription meds because I don't think they're healthy, but on really bad days I'd take them in a heartbeat, because on days like that I'd do anything not to feel the way I feel.

no, depression is definitely not a choice. anybody who's been through it knows that nobody would ever choose to be depressed.


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## CourtneyB (Jul 31, 2010)

Actually, clinical depression runs through my mom's side of the family. It's genetic.

So, no, it is not a choice. Some just hit the "shi*y (mental) genetics" jackpot.


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## julio (Oct 28, 2011)

If I was to answer this question a few years ago I would say yes but after going through it. I don't think its a choice. I try to make myself very happy, try to get out of this mind frame but I can't. I feel so empty and lonely. I don't know whats bothering me but something is.


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## shy girl (May 7, 2010)

No. I think it is possible to deny the depression to yourself or appear happy in front of others, but I think that this does more harm than good. Deep down you will still be unhappy. I think this is true in the majority of cases; however, with depression and with similar mental illnesses, there are always people who will simply wallow in self-pity and not do anything about it. In these cares, there is a large element of choice involved. And this is coming from someone who has never had depression.


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## Haunty (Oct 24, 2008)

I don't think depression itself is a choice. You can make choices that may help with depression, like changing your attitude and behavior.


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## katiebird (Sep 25, 2011)

interesting posts. I'm actually kinda relieved that a lot of people don't think it's a choice. I mean I've always had people saying to me or at least hinting that it is always my choice I can remember quotes from friends and people saying things like "why are you sad?" me: "idk I just feel bad" "well if you have no reason, you shouldnt be sad"... others have said "just be positive, good things will happen that way".. or even the term "grow up" really bothers me... even my other friend who claims he has depression and even bipolar doesn't seem as depressed as i am (although i guess you never really know how one really feels, i try and hide it all the time) 

And the thing is I do try. i go out with friends even if i feel off, I have a job, i excerise (although i really should do more lol), and now im attending church and planning to volunteer and do things. and i will admit a lot if those things do make me feel better, but only temp... Depression always comes back, even when I'm doing the best in life. I really don't think it's just self-pity, maybe a tiny bit only because usually it is a symtom of depression not a cause. I guess you choose to do things that'll improve your mood but that doesnt mean it solves the condition completely


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## katiebird (Sep 25, 2011)

WalkingDisaster said:


> I blame the emo movement for trivialising depression, leading to the inevitable backlash of "depression is a choice". For emos they feel they "have" to be depressed to fit in with their friends. I've seen people turn to this because their friends did and they don't want to be left out. It just makes it difficult for people to spot a genuine case amongst all of the pretenders.


Err I hate that! why would you want to appear like that. depression and being (overly) emotional is nothing to be proud of. Just because you dress up and act a certain way doesn't make you actually depressed and to be honest a lot of emos dont seem to "act the part" anyways i've seen many groups that just act like anyone else.. and you're it is difficult to spot a genuine case, because anyone can be depressed it doesn't matter how you dress or even act in public because depression is more of an inside feeling than anything. literally anyone could be depressed or sad, anyone who judges depression to be based on a physical appearance is just stupid


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## Man Is An Island (Oct 12, 2009)

I believe depression, often times, is the result of an honest acknowledgement of reality. One of the factors exacerbating depression is the fact that whether we like it or not, other people will always view it as a choice. And if you don't 'act' in a manner consistent with how they feel depressed people should act, say by crying all the time or indulging in alcoholism, you will more than likely be dismissed as lazy and unmotivated.

The world is a very complex place with a myriad of variables and factors contributing to every event. However, we as humans require simple, parsimonious, easily memorable ways to think about life. Hence, people tend to fall into two patterns of thought: 

1. The optimistic self-starter mindset - working hard always leads to success, people make their own luck, mistakes are learning experiences; 
2. The cynical deterministic mindset - working hard may or may not lead to success, fortune is often the product of chance and forces beyond our control, mistakes are obstacles to be avoided.

The former is categorized as 'neurotypical' thinking, while the latter is categorized as 'depressed'. Because the former group places such a heavy emphasis on free will, and is also considered the normal, default, acceptable mode of thought, it is natural that members of this group consider adopting the latter mindset to be a choice. I think deep down, depressed people also view their depression as a choice--an excuse for their own laziness and failure. Although they will posit deterministic foundations, it is their self-blame that leads to a visceral sense of self-loathing and forms the basis for their depression.

It really doesn't matter what we think, in the end. Society will always view depression as a choice. The reality is, most people who belong to group one, simply think the best cure for us is a metaphorical kick in the backside.


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## citizen_erased (Dec 18, 2007)

If depression is a choice, then wouldn't most people choose to be NOT depressed?


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## Pam (Feb 14, 2009)

I think it's a reaction, not a choice. We have many choices in life, but I'd love to meet one crazy person who DECIDED to feel depressed. That just doesn't make sense to me at all.


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## sherbert (Jun 24, 2005)

Saying that it is a choice is, to me, is like denying the biochemical element in addition to the circumstances/rearing that contribute to ones likelihood of being depressed. Even if the author's message was to give empowerment back to people, I don't think it's accurate enough to be useful. 

How we choose to deal with depression, however, is a big choice!


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

Invisiblehandicap said:


> Whether or not you *try* to get over depression is a choice. Being depressed is not a choice, given that getting out of depression is very difficult. It is not like flipping a light switch. If it were as easy as the notion "depression is a choice" implies, it would not be a mental illness.
> 
> Would you say getting an A+ average in university is a choice? How about getting your dream job? Is being a professional actor a choice? They are all like recovering from depression, the effect of hard work, hope and perseverance. They also may require a bit of luck.


Yeah, exactly this.


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## Mella316 (Oct 28, 2011)

I don't think it's a choice but I do think that being depressed (even after you get better) makes it harder to see the happy-inducing moments in your life.


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## Addler (Apr 28, 2011)

When I was a kid, I totally said, "you know what would be neat? To feel like hell for the rest of my life!" Then I flipped a switch and got depressed.:no


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## PetePain (Sep 8, 2011)

The idea of someone choosing to be depressed doesn't make sense at first but I think this idea is not totally off since a lot if not most of our choices in life are made unconsciously.


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## offbyone (May 5, 2010)

The people who think it's a choice are generally the same people who have never experienced long lasting or recurrent depression, or those who have but just drunk the self-blame kool-aid. Everyone experiences depressed moods or periods, however it is not typical to experience long lasting constant depression, which leads to misunderstandings like this.

True clinical depression is not something anyone would seek out. There is nothing beneficial to it. Any attention you get from being depressed is fleeting "oh I'm so sorry you feel that way, lets go out and have fun maybe it'll help?" turns to "yeah I'm avoiding him because hes moody and unhappy all the time. I tried to help and he rejected it/ruined my night!/whatever".


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## kev (Jan 28, 2005)

katiebird said:


> I was reading from a book and there was this quote in it that kind of stood out to me. Unfortunately I returned the book to the library so I can't remember the quote itself 100% but it pretty much stated that: depression is a choice, even though one may deny it.. and lately I've been thinking about this quite a lot and thought I'd see what others opinions were on it.... Personally I think it is but isnt, like everyone wants to be happy and everyone in life has ups and downs so why would anyone choose to be sad, but im thinking depression is more like a vicous cycle that's hard to break, and it's definatly more of a mindset so you either remain to be in that state or not thats the choice, but I wonder sometimes if certain people are more likely to stay in that depression even though they want to be happy but just can't, like what if you know your life is perfect and your getting out and doing things yet for some reason you feel somethings wrong?.. idk I'm just ranting now, I always change my mind what I think about depression


To the OP, was this the book you were talking about or not?

"Depression is a Choice" by AB Curtiss
http://www.amazon.com/Depression-Choice-Winning-Battle-Without/dp/0786866292

If so, it's interesting that this person actually claims to be a bipolar survivor. It's actually very fascinating to me how former sufferers of mental illness will sometimes take these kinds of views. My experiences is there is generally a lit bit of underlying anger, but you know, there really might be something to making an irrational leap of faith. It's a very existentialist idea and shouldn't be taken literally though. My feeling is that this author takes herself way too seriously. Just my opinion.

I read one critique of her book that was very well-put and her replies were not mean but very defensive. It didn't sit right with me.


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## turbogeek (Oct 27, 2011)

Someone wrote:
_I don't ever remember choosing to be depressed_

Of course not, no one would choose that. But having depression, I think there is some choice in terms of treatment. Obviously, not getting treatment is a choice. Best practice holds that the treatment of choice is a mixture of pharmacological and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy offers a way to 'talk back' to depressive thoughts that keep depression going. You identify depressive thoughts and replace them with thoughts that are more healthy. I think some folks might think that because CBT has proven to be effective, this "proves" that people have some choice in hanging on to their depression. This is a very black and white view, and is really just an extension of the "why don't you just snap out of it!" viewpoint.

I guess I think of depression on a continuum... Mild to severe. 
From my own experience of depression, CBT seems to be helpful when the depression is not real severe, and I think helps as a preventative, however, it was of little use when I was severely depressed. When my depression was really severe, anti-depressants were the only thing that would work.


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

Schizophrenia, is it a choice?


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## danabeaton (Jul 15, 2011)

I think it's different for everyone.

Sometimes I am so depressed I can't get out.

Other times I can get myself out by crying and letting it out and THEN focusing on the things that make me happy. I try to tell myself that waiting won't change anything and that I need to DO something.


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## BlazingLazer (Jul 16, 2011)

offbyone said:


> The people who think it's a choice are generally the same people who have never experienced long lasting or recurrent depression, or those who have but just drunk the self-blame kool-aid. Everyone experiences depressed moods or periods, however it is not typical to experience long lasting constant depression, which leads to misunderstandings like this.
> 
> True clinical depression is not something anyone would seek out. There is nothing beneficial to it. Any attention you get from being depressed is fleeting "oh I'm so sorry you feel that way, lets go out and have fun maybe it'll help?" turns to "yeah I'm avoiding him because hes moody and unhappy all the time. I tried to help and he rejected it/ruined my night!/whatever".


Couldn't agree more. I'm pretty sick and tired of all those people who don't suffer from depression, that don't even ATTEMPT (key word: attempt) to understand people who suffer from depression themselves. Such judgement based out of total ignorance. But it feels good to feel all high and mighty to shoot out the self-blame bull**** to people who annoy you, right?

It's just like all these people who condemn anyone who kills themselves. Seriously, have you ever even been depressed much less so depressed that you consider yourself a burden to people you give a **** about? No, right? Then shut the **** up already, you ignorant idiots.

And of course, I have to agree on the refusing to help someone in favor of avoiding them, because of having your precious little good mood ruined by someone who is suffering. How dare they, right?


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## jamesd (Feb 17, 2011)

BlazingLazer said:


> Couldn't agree more. I'm pretty sick and tired of all those people who don't suffer from depression, that don't even ATTEMPT (key word: attempt) to understand people who suffer from depression themselves. Such judgement based out of total ignorance. But it feels good to feel all high and mighty to shoot out the self-blame bull**** to people who annoy you, right?
> 
> It's just like all these people who condemn anyone who kills themselves. Seriously, have you ever even been depressed much less so depressed that you consider yourself a burden to people you give a **** about? No, right? Then shut the **** up already, you ignorant idiots.
> 
> And of course, I have to agree on the refusing to help someone in favor of avoiding them, because of having your precious little good mood ruined by someone who is suffering. How dare they, right?


It's because everyone goes through points of feeling depressed. Maybe it lasts a few days or even a few weeks. But eventually they 'snap out of it'. So they can't understand why people with clinical major depression can't 'snap out of it' too. I have been clinically depressed for over 10 years. I would love to just get over it. People who think clinical depression is a choice are sadists. Who in their right mind would choose to feel depressed?


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## Jitters28 (Dec 18, 2010)

Selbbin said:


> I suppose blindness is a choice too.


This.

Depression is like a mind prison. There's no such thing as an "optional" prison.


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## BlazingLazer (Jul 16, 2011)

jamesd said:


> BlazingLazer said:
> 
> 
> > Couldn't agree more. I'm pretty sick and tired of all those people who don't suffer from depression, that don't even ATTEMPT (key word: attempt) to understand people who suffer from depression themselves. Such judgement based out of total ignorance. But it feels good to feel all high and mighty to shoot out the self-blame bull**** to people who annoy you, right?
> ...


Yes, as I was addressing, being depressed and your actions in response to being depressed are two different things. I think that's what people are either failing to notice or pretending not to notice in order to justify their blame shifting.

And I wouldn't even call them sadistic in that respect. Just that they're trying to feel all big and "right" in the hopes of putting "irresponsible", "lazy" depressed people in their place, unjustifiably.

It even took me several years to finally come to terms that this is a _medical condition_, despite being the one with the affliction.

And while this is not a disease in the traditional sense (do those words even go together?), it is a _mental disease_ (sort of like alcoholism). A constant, debilitating mental struggle, if you will.


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## TheKim450 (Oct 21, 2011)

Depression isn't a choice. You don't choose when you're depressed. It just happens. Sometimes I feel really really depressed and no matter how hard I try 2 get rid of it,it never goes away like it's some piece of gum stuck to my shoe. Personally I think that the person that wrote that book didn't do enough research, that's what I think anyway.


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## rik (Jan 4, 2010)

No. No one chooses to be depressed. It is a choice to work on it to get better. But sometimes people get depressed without any reason. And I think it's not always possible to get better on your own.


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## QuietBoy99 (Sep 7, 2010)

Depression is not a choice but it's not a disease either. It's simply a symptom of something going on in your life or maybe thyroid.


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## fez (Nov 20, 2010)

No one can help going into to depression, especially if the social world you lived in as a youngster was already unstable, and you just grew into your depression, the choice is wether you want to change or not.


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## john5050 (Sep 6, 2011)

Depression is NOT a choice. I think past decisions may lead to depression. But I certainly did not choose to be depressed -_-


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## Jaxin (Nov 5, 2011)

I think there are times when you're in a very heavy depression that you really can't do anything about besides wait it out. Other times I've learned that while it's not as easy a choice as flipping a switch, there are things I can do and choices I can make. 

I have to do a lot of pumping myself up, telling myself I can do it, that these problems are **** and I'm going to break right through the *******s like they were nothing. Of course in actuality it's hard as hell but I have to keep convincing myself it's possible, and that means trying to make that mountain look like a molehill. A little self-delusion can get me back on my feet and fighting. 

I have to force myself to eat and sleep right even if I couldn't care less about ever getting better at the time. 

Most of all though I have to have a good long hard think about what is making me so depressed in the first place because a lot of the time I honestly feel ****ty with no clear cause. If I can figure out the core issues I can work on fixing them, and doing that makes me feel like I'm getting somewhere, getting better, and I lift further out of the depression. 

I usually hit one when I stop trying to improve. Even if I'm in a great mood, if all I do day in and day out is chill around watching tv and playing games or any other fun time waster at some point I fall back into depression. Somewhere inside I know I am just killing valuable time and gaining nothing from it. Even if trying to improve is hard, it makes me feel better about myself, I'm doing something constructive.


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## MrMongrel (Oct 21, 2011)

offbyone said:


> The people who think it's a choice are generally the same people who have never experienced long lasting or recurrent depression, or those who have but just drunk the self-blame kool-aid. Everyone experiences depressed moods or periods, however it is not typical to experience long lasting constant depression, which leads to misunderstandings like this.


I was institutionalized for a plethora of reasons, including depression. I do however believe that it is a choice, after re-framing my entire life with a lot of methods.


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## lazy (Nov 19, 2008)

Regarding the mind-body connection, the author would have to pop a strong psychoactive drug and choose not to get high off of it, if he can do that then dayum he has the right to boast.

though the quote does have some merit, people can change their expectations, discover new ideologies, and that opens up their eyes in a new way... but you don't just tell an SA person to stop mind-reading because their projections are often wrong and grossly distorted, it's accompanied by anxiety and you might as well call it a delusional disorder

Could the book be David Burns' Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy? The quote reminds me of that book. It did help with my mood but I'm still working on being a shut in (completely different story). The essence of it is to train the habit of detecting and acting upon the cognitive distortions ASAP. IMO, Mind-reading, jumping to conclusions, catastrophizing, and overgeneralizing are the holy grail of the SA mindset. Give a presentation maybe, then your mind just implodes because you didn't realize you were trying to mind-read an entire group of people at one time :O


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## David777 (Feb 6, 2011)

kev said:


> To the OP, was this the book you were talking about or not?
> 
> "Depression is a Choice" by AB Curtiss
> http://www.amazon.com/Depression-Choice-Winning-Battle-Without/dp/0786866292
> ...


I find it impossible to believe that anyone with bipolar disorder could make such a statment as "Depression is a choice".

If she really was bipolar then she should know how good Mania feels, and to say that she chose to go from feeling like she was on top of the world, to feeling like crap... it's beyond me.

And to those who say it's a choice of whether to get treatment or not: you're partially correct, but the sad truth is that there are many many people who never get better because they fail to respond to the depression treatments currently available. And I'm afraid I may fit into this unlucky category. :blank


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## katiebird (Sep 25, 2011)

Now that I'm thinking about it, it could have been the book 'the key' where i found the quote. although i have been reading a lot of different self-help books such as the introvert advantage, happy for no reason, and others


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## MrBik (Nov 9, 2011)

It's a chemical imbalance, maybe you can choose to treat it or not, or to ignore it or not, and in that respect 'choose' to have it by accepting treatment or not. But you can't choose to have natural chemical imbalance, like a diabetic, you have it, you can only choose what to do about it.
If anyone thinks it's existence in a choice, I label them uneducated or misinformed. Try a bit of research instead of ignorant speculation 

@katie, one tip for self help books etc, make sure they are written by PhD or MD holders, otherwise I'd just toss them in the garbage.


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## Slytherclaw (Jul 16, 2011)

That is ridiculous. All I'm gonna say about that.


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## CleverUsername (Feb 7, 2011)

Free will is an illusion. 
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/11/13/is-neuroscience-the-death-of-free-will/?ref=opinion

http://blogs.scientificamerican.com...ly-doesnt-exist-but-urge-dont-stop-believing/

Some people are born with inferior genes; genes that don't allow a person to adapt to their environment and become successful. In other words, losers. I believe that I am such a person. Anxiety has no purpose in the modern world, it is a trait passed down from times when it was beneficial to not take risks due to the environment being too dangerous. Modern advanced societies demand risk-taking, innovating, fearless, social, altruistic individuals. We're in a time and place where mental health is more important than physical health.


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## Joe (May 18, 2010)

Researchers make up loads of stuff, Id expect them to say something like "People with depression don't change because they feel its their place in society." or something along those lines.

Watch this vid 



 its spanish and a street fighter dub but still when Casey Heyes (One who done the throw.) fought back a silly 'child expert' had to go along and say it'll make things worse for him, that would only happen if he tried to throw someone who was bigger and stronger than him not a 12 year old boy, annoys me so much that 'experts' can't help but voice opinions on things even if its not much to do with it.


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## norad (Oct 24, 2011)

I also struggle with this question wether being depressed is a choice or not.

Most of the times when you talk to other people about being depressed and tell them about your hardships then sooner or later they come up with examples of people who are in a much worse condition and they're still happy.
I don't know how those people do this. When I see people on TV who are in wheelchairs and still positive or who are terminally ill and still optimistic then I really cannot understand how they do this. If I was in their shoes then I'd be totally cynical and fatalistic, which I am anyway. But the question is why are some people like this and others not? Why can some people simply "get over" things which drag them down while other people, like me, can't get over it and they're depressed all the time feeling sorry for themselves and thinking about the past and how much better everything was in the past? 
I don't think that you can simply say it's a choice. There are so many things about me which I don't like and I wish I could just change them but I experienced failure time and time again. Even if I made the choice to change things then experience has tought me many times that those choises aren't worth much because even if I make a choice in a moment where I feel optimistic then the next second this feeling will be gone and then everything is back to "normal".
Even if you know that certain thoughts are bad for you and only drag you down then this doesn't mean you can keep from thinking them.
I think that this also where psychotherapy fails. Even if the therapist can tell you reasonable, rational things to do or things to avoid then in the end it still stands and fails with your emotions. What if you have the best intentions in the world to "be strong" and not be taken under by a wave of depression but then depression hits you and you're on your back again? What do you do then? Then all good intentions and advice don't help you. 

I have tried so many times over the years to at least somehow make it to be stable and to avoid those downs but I haven't found a way to be at least stable.


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## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

No, I think it's chemical. Watch your serotonin levels.


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## norad (Oct 24, 2011)

Afaik low serotonin is not a proven theory. They assume it's the reason but I don't think you can even measure the serotonin levels in the brain.
I also heard that not all who have low serotonin also have depression.


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## IsntThisWhere (Jun 17, 2011)

Sadness can be a choice. Depression never is. If it's faked or chosen, it isn't depression.


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## afraid2goinpublic (Nov 8, 2011)

*agree*

I was told by my Doc. that it is a chemical imbalance in the brain...so I dont think I chose to have a chemical imbalance :blank. But I also suffer from alot more than just the deppression so that might be why....... but it does bug me when people look at you and say "just be happy" like what the heck does that mean??? :sus



roses6 said:


> I wish it was a choice but I don't think it is. I find it really annoying when people dismiss mental illnesses that way.


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## Jcgrey (Feb 5, 2011)

No!


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## Fromheretoeternity (Apr 3, 2011)

The whole thing about depression is a choice is complete bullsh*t , if it was a choice no one would chose to be depressed.


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## norad (Oct 24, 2011)

I listen to a lot of self help audio books and often hear crap like circumstances aren't real and that if you really want to achieve something you can achieve it and that whatever you focus your mind on will become true and if you think of yourself in a low way then this is what will become true. What do you think about this? I think this is nonsense. This is like the hen and the egg problem. I don't think that you can say that depressed people are depressed because they think depressing thoughts.


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## Huk phin (Oct 30, 2011)

It is not a choice.


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## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

I don't think it's a choice. Some people are predisposed to depression genetically, and sometimes life is just hard and warrants feelings of depression. 

I think what I just may have realized is that when I feel depressed I need to accept that that is how I am feeling, and tell myself it is o.k. that I feel depressed. It's completely normal. There is nothing wrong with feeling depressed in and of itself. Allow yourself to feel depressed, and maybe don't try to fight it, but don't make it worse either by recycling negative thoughts that you know can be put under the microscope, and reevaluated. 

...yeah.


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## Pheebs (Nov 22, 2011)

Changing your perceptions to avoid depression sounds great, really, it does. But when you have severe anxiety, your perceptions are somewhat skewed and some of your worries and phobias become obsessions that hold you down like rocks tied to your chest. I don't choose to be depressed, in fact I've done everything within my power to fight it. I'm an optimist and it's totally sucked the life out of me.


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## Resonance (Feb 11, 2010)

Before I ever experienced depression, I couldn't conceive how it could be involuntary. How you couldn't just "think yourself happy". Then I experienced the condition and realised that this position is absolute bull**** and offensive to people who suffer from this potentially crippling illness.


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## norad (Oct 24, 2011)

I don't know about you guys but I cannot simply be depressed and not be hindered by it. When I'm depressed I have no energy. I just want to lie in bed and not get up and everything pisses me off. If I could lie in bed all day and drink a bottle of wine every day then I could tolerate this but I cannot. I have to function and do crap which I hate at the same time and this is when depression really becomes an issue. How do you keep going when everything is pointless? Nobody would keep playing a computer game which sucks but when your life sucks and seems hopeless then you have to keep going. I don't know how this is supposed to work. Nobody can estimate my life better than myself and even if other people tried to tell me that it's not as bad as I think it is then this wouldn't help me because they are not me. Even if they think that if they were me it wouldn't be that bad then they are still thinking from their perspective. Not everyone can deal with the same pressure. That's also why I doubt that CBT is very helpful. Even if a therapist who just sits there and who doesn't have the problems makes it look like it's no big deal and tells you stuff like everything will be fine then this doesn't mean that he's right. He could as well be totally wrong. Problems of other people never seem that big to you simply because you're not the one who has the problems. It's always easy to give smart advice and tell people what they should do. I could also give smart advice to depressed people and tell them stuff like: Don't think about things which depress you.
This sounds reasonable but the issue is putting it into practice. You can know perfectly well what to avoid because it hinders you but the little problem is simply that depression changes everything. Once depression comes into play you can forget all those smart advice.
Someone who gets drunk also knows that this doesn't solve anything and that it isn't healthy and still he does it. Rational thinking doesn't help such a person and neither do smart advice. If psychology doesn't have more to offer than smart reasonable advice then you can forget it.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

Who would choose to be depressed? Doesn't sound like a fun thing to choose to do.


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## norad (Oct 24, 2011)

meganmila said:


> Who would choose to be depressed? Doesn't sound like a fun thing to choose to do.


True but many people will say such things to you. Talk to someone about depression and it's only a matter of time til he tells you stuff like you really want to be depressed. That is what it usually comes down to. Or they give you crappy ridiculous advice like don't focus on you focus on other people. Help other people. Take care of old people. As if crap like that was helpful at all. This is like telling someone who has pain in his legs and cannot walk very well to run a marathon. How shall you take care of others when you don't even have enough strength to function? I am so sick of those ridiculous advice.


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## wishihadstayedinbed (Dec 4, 2011)

There is an old quote by Abraham Lincoln that says "most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be". This is a quote that's used regularly in addictions groups as one of the "tools" to help them (and me!) deal with daily life.

Apart from being said in a completely different time period when the brain wasn't understood to the degree it is today, I also think it's just plain wrong. 

I can't make up my mind to be happy anymore than i can make it up to be unhappy. 
If i'm feeling down & depressed (something that has happened for lengthy periods of time on several occasions in my life) i can make choices as to what i do at that point.
I can choose to talk about or not talk about. I can choose to eat properly or not eat properly. I can choose to get out and do something useful - go food shopping, go for a walk, meet up with friends etc or i can choose to isolate at home. I can choose to ask for help or try to deal with it on my own (the worst choice of all in my opinion).

But even knowing some of the choices i have available to me its still not easy at all to make the right choice(s) when it is on me.

Some of my worst periods of depression have come not long after i was at my "happiest" and when things seemed to be going really well. I didn't choose this to happen. I didn't do anything to sabotage myself to get to back to depression.

I think it is a combination of chemical imbalances coupled with life experiences/current situations that caused my periods of depression. I didn't welcome it when it came. I didn't choose it to happen.

But i did choose to write about it here and that's made me feel just a little better for doing that........ for today at least ;-)


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## norad (Oct 24, 2011)

I think it needs to be distinguished between people who are depressed for no obvious reason, in such a case I could imagine that trying to work on your thinking could be helpful, and people who have tons of real problems which cause them to be depressed.
From talking to my psychologist I almost get the impression that being depressed even if you have tons of reasons for it is not normal and then he tells me anecdotes of people who have pain all day and are still happy. How does crap like this help people who cannot manage to still be happy even though they have many problems? This way you're even made to feel guilty for being depressed. How dare you to be depressed...
I think that not being depressed when you have a ton of problems would be abnormal and not being depressed.

It doesn't help me if person X is in a much worse state and somehow manages it to be totally happy. This is the same as saying that there are people who can run faster or lift heavier weights than me. How does that make me run as fast as them or become as strong as them?
I really think that most psychologists suck. If you're lucky and come across a good one then this is not because psychology is good but because maybe you've come across a person who has empathy or understands your problems but most advice which psychologists give are ridiculous and totally unrealistic imo.

I think there really are people who are real fighters and nothing can get them down. Athletes who get injured badly and work their way up to the top again or people who were in the wheelchair and recover and walk again but how does that help those who are always taken under by depression? You cannot simply flip a switch and then you suddenly have this fighter mentality where nothing affects you anymore I wish it was that simple. I wish there was a bootcamp for depressed people and you just go there and do whatever they tell you and you come out cured but this won't work. 
And hearing stories about successful people who worked their way up to the top and who tell you that you can achieve whatever you want as long as you believe in it also doesn't seem helpful to me. Just because it worked for them doesn't mean everybody can do it. I think that most of the self-help books and positive thinking stuff out there doesn't work. I wish it did but it sounds too good to be true.


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## Event Horizon (Feb 23, 2011)

No, it's not. It's unavoidable.


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## Cracked (Feb 17, 2014)

CourtneyB said:


> Actually, clinical depression runs through my mom's side of the family. It's genetic.
> 
> So, no, it is not a choice. Some just hit the "shi*y (mental) genetics" jackpot.


The author makes the point that both her father and brother suffer from depression, manic / bipolar, that they went down the conventional route of meds, without success, that she suffered for 20 years, diagnosed bipolar - she chose not to follow her btprother and father's route and sort to overcome though discipline and self will. The point she makes is that though depression is not a choice, the way we react, deal, treat with it, is. We need to choose not to play into its hands by allowing it to dictate behaviour and above thought. Thoughts and feelings are different. I have for a long time thought depression or the way we handle it a choice. It's difficult.


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## AceEmoKid (Apr 27, 2012)

Who would ever choose to be depressed, except a pure masochist?


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

No.


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## Sarabethq (Feb 19, 2014)

Hell no, If I had the choice to be happy why would I be here?


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