# Can people with SA really get jobs?



## hopeeee (Nov 22, 2015)

I wanna get a job. I really do. But the last job I applied for, I screwed it up, by suddenly disappearing and not reporting back. And I was just a trainee there. I feel like I wanna get back on it since the people were good, it's just that I feel as though I'm not happy, or at least my anxiety makes me feel that way, or depression? I feel like I'm not there when I'm there, do you guys get that. Like I'm disconnected, I can't focus and I can't even freaking smile. And it was my supposedly first job ever. Part of me feels like doing it again, applying for another job. I mean I should be! I'm already on my 20s. I wanna help out around our house and meet new people too. And ofcourse travel. But I don't know, I'm so confused.

What about u guys? Do u have a job atm? Or none, just cooped up at home like me? If so, what and how was it? Have u survived and hold on, get through with it? Or did u gave up and quit too?


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## SuperSky (Feb 16, 2011)

I think whether or not a person with SA can get a job depends on where their SA is targeted and how it affects them... which isn't static over time.

My first job was terrifying with only scary interactions, and I hated every moment of it and everything associated with it. I legitimately thought that I'd never survive in the real world and was doomed forever.
My second job (not counting really short temp stuff) where I was doing work experience was SO much better. Completely different line of work and different environment. And my current job is good - it doesn't even feel like having to "survive" it anymore.

So I definitely hope you give it another shot, cause it can pay off and work out.


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## whiet (Jan 15, 2015)

I'm exactly like you, same situation. I left my first ever job because the anxiety was getting too much, now I've been unemployed for 10 months. I'm just at home now, but I've been called for a few interviews but my attempts to get the job were half hearted because I'm terrified at going back to work.


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## JustALonelyHeart (Nov 20, 2015)

I had two jobs this summer.Both lasted one week only.Why?Because my first boss would just always treat me as if I was nothing.Not to mention when I told her I was quitting she payed me for that week and she gave me less than what she initially promised.I was like "thanks for nothing", I had to quit my second job due to this stupid anxiety.Now I have another job opportunity but to be honest I don't know if I can do it.I am terrified as hell.And I'm just like that.In social situations my mind goes blank, I can't focus, my heart goes crazy-leave it be that I have a heart illness too and anxiety only makes everything worse.I don't know whether I'll be ever able to have another job or not.


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## Bear95 (Nov 2, 2015)

I also really struggle with jobs. I have only had one (a part time one at a small shop before I started university). I absolutely hated it. Every day I had the same nerves I had on my first day there. I never felt comfortable, even after a year of being there. I felt like I was being watched by the other members of staff there all the time which is what made me nervous and unable to do things right. Although I hate uni for all the horrid social situations I have to go through, I don't want it to end because I am terrified about getting a job. I hope for all our sakes that there are jobs out there for people with SA.


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## RiversBetweenUs (Nov 22, 2015)

When I first got a job, I was terrified, but mostly because I exaggerated how bad it really be. 

I had a mother who believed in tough love, so she gave me a choice when I was nineteen... get a job or move out. She even sold my games and console. 

I was mad at the time, but I wasn't helping myself by staying home. People aren't always going to be there for you to depend on. I'm grateful she did this because I've come a long way since. 

I just tell myself that I'll get used to the routine at work. Once you know what to do and what to expect, it's easy. The only way you can overcome anxiety is by facing it head-on, like any fear. You just take it day by day and it gets easier.


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## ac1995 (Nov 23, 2015)

I got my first job a little over a year ago.. when I was 19. It was in a restaurant, and I was a kitchen assistant. I only got it because the kitchen manager is my mother's friend and they desperately needed someone. I lasted a month. I left voluntarily because they said if I didn't improve they'd let me go. It was a really fast-paced environment, required a lot of shouting and communication skills I don't have and there was a lot to learn.. I made a lot of errors with the orders or was too slow and this resulted in being shouted at. 

In retrospect, that is about the worst environment for me to be working in.

I recently did work experience at a children's centre and was the receptionist.. it was actually okay - in fact, they were so grateful for my work they bought me cards and chocolate. I was a little nervous answering the phone at first but after a while I got used to it, though I still wrote down messages wrong occasionally because I'm too shy to ask people to repeat themselves.. lol. I did all of the work on time, helped out wherever I could, and asked for more work if I was left doing nothing. That's the thing that bothers me.. when given the chance I can prove that I'm a hard worker, but during the interview I make a very poor impression. 

Anyway.. I've been on unemployment benefits for a year now and there's no end in sight for me. I had an interview recently and after 3 minutes the person interviewing me just said I have poor communication skills and the role isn't suitable for me. A lot of the time I feel like I should give up, but I'll keep on trying anyway.


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## Hayman (Dec 27, 2014)

Since I left school at 16, I've only ever found myself out of work for a grand total of two months. So yes, it's certainly possible.

My first job lasted for just over nine years. It was a minimum wage, but at least it was very local to where I lived at the time. It was literally a ten minute car journey - if that. I worked in the accounts department at first and then moved into sales - but to mainly sort paperwork than actually dealing with customers. I then ended back up in accounts. Sadly, I was made redundant from there. It was constructive dismissal basically (I ended up training my replacement&#8230;I could see what was happening but no one else could), but I didn't have the money or energy to seek legal advice from a solicitor.

My second job is where I am at the moment. I've been there for over five years now. It's a similar role in a sales department, but completely away from dealing face to face with customers. The wages aren't much better, but the job itself is relatively straightforward providing our suppliers don't make mistakes. The people I work with are overly-social though and there's only a few of them that I feel I can talk to without being insulted or joked about.

It's not getting a job which is the hardest part. Providing there's jobs out there, you can indeed get one. I know that's terrifying alone, but it's what you choose to do that's more difficult&#8230; You will have to somehow cater for your SA as no one else will. As I keep saying, I believe it remains a condition that's fundamentally misunderstood.

My advice would be to keep well away from customer services, retail or keep away from most things that are time sensitive (i.e - Logistics) which can really crank up stress levels. I highly doubt anyone with SA would last long in those sorts of industries. I know perfectly normal people, who are good with the general public, who have struggled in retail.

I'd recommend an office-based job doing menial tasks, or if you're physically fit, something in a warehouse. Neither will ever pay great money, but if you're generally kept away from customers and deal with the same people day to day, it makes things a whole lot easier.

There's a lot of truth in what @RiversBetweenUs says over getting used to a routine at work. This does help and does reduce your SA. It doesn't help you with day to day interactions with people, but at least you know where you stand and what you're doing. I've been in my current job for over five years and I must say, it took me the best part of a year to begin to settle down. It's not something that happens overnight. That's for sure.

Other than that, I wish you the best of luck @hopeeee.


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## hulkamaniak (Mar 21, 2008)

Had a job 3 years ago, lasted a year but due to anxiety and depression people thought I was weird and got heavily bullied so quit. Now 3 years later I am unemployed, despite getting desperate lately and applying for a good 300 or so jobs in the last 3-4 months I have had no interviews or anything.


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## klvmm (Sep 16, 2015)

I really want a job aswell. My last job was in mcdonalds, which took me months to find and it was so awful. I didn't know how to socialise with the other employees, the managers hated me, I can't fake a smile to save my life and I had never felt so worthless and useless in my life. This really threw me off looking for another job because I know my anxiety and lack of social skills will stop be from being hired or will just end with me being fired again.


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## Shinobi1001 (Aug 28, 2012)

People with SA can get jobs...the problem is keeping the job you got without getting fired.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Yes but expect a lot of failure.


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## kromatic (Nov 22, 2015)

I've been out of a job for months now. 3 years since i had a legit full time job that lasted more than a month (4 years, longest time ever at one place). it takes me forever to send out my resume and try applying. When I do get a call back, I always find excuses to not want the job or to bail on the interview. Even when I do get to the interview, I panic. If I try to mentally prepare for it, I pick everything apart and can't sleep dwelling over the entirety of my career and all the things that have gone wrong. If I don't prepare, just do horrible on the interview. The more I want the particular job, the worse I do. My work history is horrible too, so many jobs, so many gaps.


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## thinkstoomuch101 (Jun 7, 2012)

yes,

you can have a job, but i think for us, it's best if they are temporary. I work anywhere in the country as well as canada and alaska. I was told to stay well away from the Virgin Islands. Apparently, the sexual harassment laws don't apply there, as they do here in the states.

So i contract myself out for 13 weeks. If like a place, i extend, but that only happened once or twice in all of my careers.

Every where you go, there's:

Cliques
Bullies
Squabbling for power
Favoritism
Nepotism
Accepted Dysfunction
Backstabbing
Criticizing
As** kissing
Boot licking
Manipulators
Screwing Around
Screwing people over

Nothing ever changes, from one place to the next. The more females and young males you have, the worse the drama.

So, i put up with that silliness for 13weeks, and then i bail.

I am not equipped to work full time. I am too "intuitive", can't stand to be around yacky females on a daily basis. And can't deal with folks that can't handle the truth about themselves. You'll have these employees that people have "bootlicked" over the years or the "Alpha" in your usual cliques. You say something to them that "hurts their feelings" - then we have drama. 

The drama starts when the other spineless employees run behind the alpha's back and tell you how they wish they could "be brave enough" to say what i've said, etc. But when the alpha walks in? That same bootlicker turns and pretends they aren't talking to you - because the alpha said so.

It's constant high school. Constant. I crack up when i hear people say: "Grow up" especially here on the forum (and those are the ones that don't even have job) - when they are usually the first to act like little children themselves, or the biggest cowards - especially in the work place..


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## hopeeee (Nov 22, 2015)

Thank you so much you guys for replying to my post.
I will take in everything that u guys said. Especially the advices/helpful words.
U guys are all wonderful people and I feel so good hearing all ur stories too.
Knowing that I am not the only one struggling with this really makes me feel at peace to say the least.
<3

*VIRTUAL AWKWARD HUG!!! <3*


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## LadyApathy (Dec 2, 2014)

Yeah, I have really bad SA and somehow how I manged to get jobs....... I'm not gonna lie tho, there are three times out of a week that I feel like blowing my brains out. I think if I worked full time I would have already offed myself
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Findedeux (Mar 16, 2012)

Sounds like you have a mother who knows how to parent.

People who get supported by their parents ad infinitum are just being enabled.

You don't know what you can do until you have to do it.

Desperation is a great motivator.



RiversBetweenUs said:


> When I first got a job, I was terrified, but mostly because I exaggerated how bad it really be.
> 
> I had a mother who believed in tough love, so she gave me a choice when I was nineteen... get a job or move out. She even sold my games and console.
> 
> ...


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## Agricola (Feb 20, 2015)

Yes, but SA makes work more of a pain than it normally is. Work likely stinks for most people but for those with SA it is even worse. I work in a small office so things are a little more informal and relaxed than in a big, impersonal office, so that is good. The down side is my boss has wild mood swings and can go from happy to mouth-breathing insane angry in a matter of seconds. Because the office is so tiny I am always around him and I can't hide too much.  


I am trying to get a new job that pays more and where there might be some workplace rules about harassment because my boss is a private owner and rules his office like a king. 


Good look with trying to find a job that fits you. It is tough but doable.


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## gisellemarx (Feb 1, 2010)

It's possible, I've been working on-and-off since I was 17. Sometimes it all gets to be too much and I end up quitting. I've had 3 official jobs. I've held this one for a year and 3.5 months, which is really an accomplishment for me. 

The main thing that drives me is the financial needs. If I was lucky enough to have an external monetary support system, I probably wouldn't work up the nerve every morning.


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