# Anyone find it really hard to find a lab partner?



## WalkingDisaster (Nov 27, 2010)

I had a Chemistry lesson today where we had to do an experiment in pairs. None of my best friends are in the class, so whenever we have to find a partner to work with it stresses me out and I usually end up working alone and hoping the teacher doesn't notice. When she does notice she just says "ask anyone" but doesn't seem to understand that I can't. There are about 3 people I get on okay with but they have better friends in the group so they work with them.

Today we were told in Chemistry before lunch that we had to work in pairs for the lesson after lunch, and for the whole of lunchtime I was so nervous I felt physically sick and couldn't eat anything. My friends don't understand because I act normal around them, but I made those friends before I got shy so I can talk to them fine. Every Chemistry lesson the feeling gets worse. I ended up working alone today at the back of the class so no-one noticed. I just feel so self-hating and self-conscious around everyone- most of the time I can't bring myself to even say that person's name to get their attention. When people I don't know really well look at me (which isn't often) I can't make eye contact, and I kind of paanic and stumble over my words and feel like I want the ground to swallow me up.

Does anyone else find this? Not just with lab partners but any social interaction with people you don't know well. I haven't told anyone about this feeling I get, but how likely do you think it is a genuine case of Social Anxiety?

Sorry for the long post.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I always remembered it being kind of hard - I just sort of bit the bullet and went for it.


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## notna (Aug 24, 2010)

Yep when I first joined secondary school I had to do this 4 times a week for a year, I wanted to kill myself everytime I got home.
I have now dropped the subject


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## Music Man (Aug 22, 2009)

Even at uni, I find it hard; not to ask people, just finding someone who will work with me. Most people work with the same person all the time; I worked with a girl, who's my friend, for quite a while and I was pleased with that but all of a sudden she changed and worked with someone else. Ever since then I seem to work with different people every week, just people who work in 3's and are made to work with me.

I don't have that security of knowing who I'm going to work anymore and this is university Medical Microbiology/ genetics so it's important for me to not only have the same person in the practical but to work with them during the write up.


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## greenking (Oct 2, 2010)

yeah I mostly have this problem in my class, but it's groups instead of partners. the teacher tells everybody to spread out and work in groups together and I usually just sit there alone and then the teacher gets mad at me for not participating


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## kirabranwen (Mar 19, 2010)

That's a terrible feeling. D: 
I once had a math teacher that would do that every day and towards the end of the year she would even say aloud, "Okay, everyone partner up! _Sorry Kira!_" and then laugh. She was everyone's favorite too. I remember having this enormous amount of respect and admiration for her even until the last day of school...
She truly had some noble moments- but dealing with me was not one of them. I wish I could remember her now as a role-model and not a rotten person.

If you can, try requesting a course with a smaller class-size. By no fault of your own, you have an illness. Kids with diabetes get to eat during the day to level blood sugar, kids who can't walk can use wheelchairs and you should be able to get an education without abuse/neglect and pain. Go see your counselor or talk to your parent(s). Mention how you feel sick. There are laws and regulations protecting kids like us, you just need to take advantage of them. 

The most important thing anyone ever said to me about this was "It's not your fault." I don't know if that means anything to you, but I do hope this helped and that things get better. 
PM me anytime.


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## Popularity (Dec 13, 2010)

cursed be the teachers who make you work in groups.

*scratches head* hey guise can i be in your group? 

brings back memories


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## momosy (Feb 7, 2011)

I love biology class, but when the teacher tells us we have to work in partners I feel like throwing up all over the place :afr


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## sohru (Feb 8, 2011)

this year my school has to "improve" so now the teachers are always giving us projects with partners. Usually i just go it alone if i can, but when they make us have partners i just wait until theres only one more person left partnerless, so its less on me asking and more simply being forced, just avoid eye contact, try to get everything done as fast as possible, then retreat to something like writing in a notebook to keep my mind off the situation and the partner from making things more hard than they are. That might help you, also going to the same person as a partner if possible makes things more comfortable. good luck ^.^


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## Saekon (Jan 13, 2010)

My lab partner makes me anxious. They don't talk, I get anxious, we both get anxious... Subpar quality work as a result. Well, here's a promise to myself. Next lesson for chemistry we're gonna be the best darn group in the room.



> Does anyone else find this? Not just with lab partners but any social interaction with people you don't know well. I haven't told anyone about this feeling I get, but how likely do you think it is a genuine case of Social Anxiety?


Well, with strangers I'm not really that anxious, if I know I won't be seeing them again AND if no one I know is around. But if I know I'll probably see them again, like in a school environment the anxiety creeps up on me, hurls me to the ground and starts beating me mercilessly.


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## nescio (Jan 30, 2010)

It's actually not that hard.. I just wait until everyone have pairs and join the one who is alone. Not only for lab partners but for everything that requires pairs.. groups are a problem for me thou as I just don't join any.


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## WalkingDisaster (Nov 27, 2010)

The class has an odd number of people so it's always me left alone.


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## AndyG91 (Feb 17, 2011)

God I remember that, I was exactly the same in my science and other classes. Kids can be so horrible, so glad those days are behind me. I sympathise with you man. Even in uni the other day we had to form groups and those old feelings of **** I'm going to end up on my own re-emerged. At uni people are obviously older and if you ask to join them they are more then likely to say sure but I remain hesitant because I remember what kids used to be like at school and it sort of has become second nature to assume I'm going to get a load of abuse for even asking.


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## Kita (Feb 24, 2011)

I hate when teachers tell you to find a partner! I'm always screaming in my head, "WOULDN'T IT JUST BE EASIER IF YOU PAIRED US UP?" That way there is no way I will be one of the people in class left without a partner. Usually when the teacher tells us to find a partner I just sit there and stare at the wall while everyone is scrambling around for a partner. I always hope someone will come ask me...but they never do. I'd rather just work by myself anyway...other people slow you down.


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## timegoesback (Nov 20, 2008)

In my chemistry class last year, the teacher usually paired people up or into groups if there was an odd number. But in Biology, unless someone asked, I'd do one of the following:
a) pretend to looking through textbook/notes or just setup equipment and work alone until someone asked
b) wait until everyone else has found a partner and see if the other lone person asks (sometimes they would just form a group of 3 lol)
c) wait for teacher to ask if I have a partner who would then either let me work alone or make me join a pair

Back when I did PE, it was 100x worse because not only did I not know anyone (other than a friend who'd rarely show up), but I was hopeless at sports and the whole team picking thing was horrible. I was never actually picked, the coach just told me which side to go on when every'd been chosen. I only did PE because I thought it would entail no schoolwork


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## Saekon (Jan 13, 2010)

Lots of people away because of stuff (still at school). Only 3 people. Cute girl. Troll face. Teacher says we're going to wait for others before doing experiment. Sad Saekon for rest of the lesson.


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## WalkingDisaster (Nov 27, 2010)

Saekon said:


> Lots of people away because of stuff (still at school). Only 3 people. Cute girl. Troll face. Teacher says we're going to wait for others before doing experiment. Sad Saekon for rest of the lesson.


Bad luck


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## Sissy43 (Oct 7, 2012)

*Ask*

When it was me in that situation, I would usually look for the pair that was kind of like myself and ask to join. Or the pair that looked like they would be nice and let me join.


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## H94 (Aug 29, 2012)

Finding partners or groups caused me a lot of anxiety. Most of the time I just ended up working by myself, hoping the teacher wouldn't notice me.


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## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

Luckily I never had a problem with that in chemistry. Since I was usually the only one who actually understood what that hell we where doing. :doh


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## Saekon (Jan 13, 2010)

WalkingDisaster said:


> Bad luck


No it was a joke ;P


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## lady lavender (Oct 24, 2012)

Oh my gosh, my life. I don't know anyone in my chem class except one girl, who's super sweet but is really popular and I'm too afraid to talk to while she's with her friends, so my teacher must be trying to kill me, because every day she's like "choose your lab partner! you can sit wherever you want! buddy checks!" and I'm like STOP NO DON'T DO ME LIKE THIS


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## Theking72 (Oct 26, 2012)

I hate the whole work in groups thing, especially high point projects, I always feel like I need to do it all and be absolutely perfect otherwise I am dragging down whoever is paired up with me. And then I end up freaking out over it so much that it never gets done and I feel even worse.


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## Zeppelin (Jan 23, 2012)

I always somehow end up the the kid who dosen't speak English, so yeah, I hate trying to find partners for class assignments.


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## thebadshepard (Oct 13, 2012)

Thank god I don't have to choose a partner in my chem class, we are just assigned a partner.


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## JosephD (Nov 3, 2012)

I have always hated the pick-a-partner or group thing. Even when I have friends in the particular class it still bothers me. There's always the issue of who does what or if your partner is just plain lazy and expects you to do all the work. I actually wish I could just decide to work on my own and have it be just that, to bad teachers won't allow that most of the time.


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