# The kind of Man women really want



## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

If you don't meet all 5 criteria, you are disqualified and must live foreveralone.

Agreed?


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

Embodiment of the ideal man:









See the swiftness, strength and manliness? Take note, guys.


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## Daveyboy (Jan 13, 2013)

I'm a man and I'm mysterious 2/5 and working on the rest..
cartwheel....aint gonna happen....haha


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## flamingwind (Jan 1, 2013)

but but but but but you didn't write that they have to be an a**holes or jerks


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Agreed.


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## merryk (Dec 25, 2008)

I desire a mutually compatible man.
Such simplicity includes a diversity of guys. Surely I can cross paths with _one..._


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## evginmubutu (Sep 12, 2011)

being a 'man' must mean to simply let down those barriers that make us squirmy around you. I have been working out lately so I am pretty well muscled now I think that helps a bit.


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## pineapplebun (Oct 25, 2011)

Such a man, is the only kind who can bring honour to my family.

He must not worry, I am a girl worth fighting for...because he couldn't care less what I wear or what I look like, it all depends on what I cook like... beef, pork, chicken, Mmmhmmmmm.


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## nullptr (Sep 21, 2012)

Girls would you date a male androd?


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## Brasilia (Aug 23, 2012)

Mulan was a good film.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

:lol


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

4f4 al0n3


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)




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## hanzitalaura (Mar 3, 2013)

My ideal man would be someone like Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory. I love intelligent men that's a must for me and the most important criteria.


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## Forwhatiamworth (Mar 3, 2013)

The male version of me. I don't believe in the whole opposites attract thing. Being with someone is who the complete opposite of me turns out to be a disaster.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

hanzitalaura said:


> My ideal man would be someone like Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory. I love intelligent men that's a must for me and the most important criteria.


You would never so much as get a hug from him though!


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

I'm going to go and eat a double whopper bruger now with no cheese, mayo and heavy pickles.

Aight peace out.. :tiptoe


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Oh really?


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Millennium Man fits the description! :lol


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## handsupmidnight (Mar 4, 2013)

I can lick my elbow. I think that takes _cojones_


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## BillDauterive (Oct 24, 2012)

Let's get down to business to defeat.........the Huns!


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## handsupmidnight (Mar 4, 2013)

rweezer36 said:


> Psshhh...child's play. I can lick my dick, I am very inflexible, you do the math.


The mental image...
http://24.media.tumblr.com/e4e37e92d1b22cf77d7adb17847b0b22/tumblr_mg53hxUDhh1qii6tmo1_250.gif


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## T-Bone (Oct 1, 2010)

rweezer36 said:


> Psshhh...child's play. I can lick my dick, I am very inflexible, you do the math.


I'm noticing a theme with you.


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

LMAO I don't even know what any of that means haha..

the strength of a raging fire?


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## Reclus (Jan 11, 2012)

diamondheart89 said:


> If you don't meet all 5 criteria, you are disqualified and must live foreveralone.
> 
> Agreed?


1. Check
2. No problem - I disturbed a wasp's nest once and thus have confirmation of my speed of movement when necessary.
3. Yup - the muggers and crazies steer well clear of me for precisely that reason
4. You mean like a pyromaniac? Well, I did play with matches and do stuff with fireworks as a kid...
5. Mysterious is my middle name

So, since we're being traditional here, let's get down to brass tacks - I have just 3 conditions:
1. What sort of dowry am I looking at here? - as a scholar and a gentleman of good standing, I won't even get out of bed for less than 200 oxen...
2. You must either be from an aristocratic family or the upper crust of the mercantile class.
3. Bound feet will of course be essential.

Owning an exotic pet would be a bonus incentive - do you have a cute monkey, a panda, a giant lizard or something like that? I don't like caged birds though... (just so you know)


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## Owl-99 (Mar 7, 2012)

Who cares what women want!


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## General Specific (Mar 4, 2008)




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## Charmander (Sep 5, 2012)

Won't get that song out of my head all day now... thanks.


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## scooby (Jun 24, 2009)

Charmander said:


> Won't get that song out of my head all day now... thanks.


Was going to post this after seeing the OP. I barely even remember what happens in the movie, saw it once in cinemas, but somehow the song was hidden in my memory until this post.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

To those taking this thread to way too seriously, take a gander at this


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## Unkn0wn Pleasures (Nov 24, 2011)

That's not at all the kind of man I really want.


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## O Range (Feb 11, 2013)

D: 
I can't read anything anything here!


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## kiirby (Oct 8, 2010)

AllToAll said:


> Embodiment of the ideal man:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


_*frantically takes notes*_


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## hanzitalaura (Mar 3, 2013)

AussiePea said:


> You would never so much as get a hug from him though!


I know. Physical contact is overrated in anyway haha.


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## UndreamingAwake (Apr 11, 2011)

1. Mother nature saw fit to endow me with a penis at birth. 
2. Easy. Give me a couple liters of beer and i'll piss harder, longer *and* faster than that coursing river of yours.
3. I think i'll order an extra spicey indian curry. Pray to god I don't start farting though, because if you think that great typhoon was windy, i'll send him back to his mommy crying. 
4. My pee is flammable, so i'll just piss in that raging fire to make it even bigger before spreading it with the sheer force of my farts. 
5. I've listened to that Pink Floyd album so many times, I can safely tell you that there's not much mysterious about it.


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## Reclus (Jan 11, 2012)

Paper Samurai said:


> To those taking this thread to way too seriously, take a gander at this


Well I'm hoping that people will note my demand for a minimum of 200 oxen as a dowry etc. etc. and preferably an exotic pet thrown into the bargain is somewhat less than serious.... :teeth


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Reclus said:


> Well I'm hoping that people will note my demand for a minimum of 200 oxen as a dowry etc. etc. and preferably an exotic pet thrown into the bargain is somewhat less than serious.... :teeth


You tell me that AFTER I gather the 200th ox?? I've been searching for days! :blank


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

I thought it was Mel Gibson.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Disarray said:


> I thought it was Mel Gibson.


Ironically that would be high on a list of what I wouldn't want. I don't want anyone reading my thoughts thanks D:


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## cosmicslop (Nov 24, 2012)

"You fight... good." Shang had social anxiety. That's all he could say to her. :b


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

**** it, I'm just gonna build my own


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

probably offline said:


> **** it, I'm just gonna build my own


Does it come in different sizes? :boogie


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Sacrieur said:


> Does it come in different sizes? :boogie


He's adjustable. You can make him bigger by blowing up the limbs, like balloons. Or make him thinner, if you like that


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

probably offline said:


> He's adjustable. You can make him bigger by blowing up the limbs, like balloons. Or make him thinner, if you like that


Oh cool, does the penis pump come with batteries?


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Sacrieur said:


> Oh cool, does the penis pump come with batteries?


He doesn't need one, he only eats Viagra and motor oil.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

Oh good built in lubrication.


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## Reclus (Jan 11, 2012)

diamondheart89 said:


> You tell me that AFTER I gather the 200th ox?? I've been searching for days! :blank


A man can never have too many oxen - the ultimate status symbol.


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## Hufflepuff (Feb 16, 2013)

diamondheart89 said:


> If you don't meet all 5 criteria, you are disqualified and must live foreveralone.
> 
> Agreed?


Are you a girl worth fighting for?


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