# Crying in front of your therapist? What do you do and feel? What does he/she do?



## crystalcat1515 (Jul 28, 2012)

I haven't cried in front of my therapist. I don't intend to either. I can't just bring myself to start the waterworks, no matter how much amount of pain I'm feeling. Anyways what are your experiences. Is it okay to cry in front of them? How do they react?


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## lizzy19 (Jun 16, 2012)

Omg i've done this like three times maily cuz I think im overly sensitive..I feel emberassed at first then relieved and towards the end i feel much better. I was surprised when I saw her cry with me :um


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## Chatise19 (Dec 31, 2011)

It's so intense the first few sessions, because she and my mom are the only ones who knows. The dam seriously broke at least 3 times, which is ALot for me. I really hated crying too, she already made me feel so exposed as it was...It's okay to cry because your therapist probably has other SA patients and it's best to let everything out. She was very calm about it and went silent, letting me cry it out. I appreciated that alot.


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## Cheskey (Jul 6, 2012)

I cried about three times, felt stupid for it and just blocked out that reflex..


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## fredbloggs02 (Dec 14, 2009)

"It takes a lot to make me cry". My therapist did cry for me when I last saw her, she had similar experiences to me as a child. I am the unfortunate half of her in relation to external experiences, her life got better, mine progressively worse. I sometimes think I've perhaps had to endure more than I think I have seeing that, but I won't get depressing. Of course it's alright to cry; I don't because I feel part of my integrity to embrace pain as a block of ice and ask for more instead of burning with petty, half christened tears. If I am not yet invulnerable, I'll show no mark of injury inscribed into me; if I don't believe you have it inside you to follow me into my depths, despite those who Christen what I tell them with tears- diagnoze me with trauma as you choose; if you want to cry for me that's your buissness, my deepest chasms I have yet to uncover or explore myself, only then will I cry about them or rise from them. I wish my therapist had the courage and the soul to descend into my depths. If you cannot follow me, don't assume we understand eachother; cry, then help me, or get out! Don't bleed my integrity to cry for nothing or show me your condolences or pity in that way: that pity offends me.. 

most of the reason I don't look at my therapist in the eye is that I doubt her capacity to see me as I am, as I truly suffer, and not just her but allow anyone to hear how my mind truly works. I have my own unpleasant demons noone enjoys contemplating if I bring them to the surface to tackle my problem head on. I feel my therapist is too sensitive, she's not had to grow the spiritual strength I have, she can't follow me. I must be able to do that. I think I'd draw unwarranted condolences and compassion that bleed all over me! and expects mine in return': that will not help me, it pales in comparison to marching further, deeper. I truly believe I would find god and the devil in my depths and be instantly cured. "That which does not kill me makes me stronger"-Nietzsche


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

therapists have seen everything. no need to worry about crying in front of them - that's part of what therapy is for. I've cried buckets in front of therapists. It's inevitable when or if you really start opening up and really discuss all that's on your mind.


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## pythonesque (Jun 16, 2012)

I have. I hadn't intended to. My therapist had asked me a really mundane question, and as I was replying it suddenly occurred to me how utterly alone and tightly-wound I was. And I just couldn't hold back the tears any longer. She kind of sat there like a robot waiting for me to finish and then resumed her line of questioning. It felt ... cathartic, I guess. But also slightly disappointing that this was all the reaction I got after letting out years of pent-up emotion.

Come to think of it, it kind of felt like how I do whenever I post on these forums.


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## Attica! Attica! (Oct 8, 2008)

I tear up every single session. I try so hard not to, but it always happens. I teared up at my psychiatrist recently and when there were no tissues in the room she remarked about how she should have thought to bring in a new box since I was coming. She's super nice though.. both her and my psychologist are. The main problem is that I get so choked up I can't get out what I want to say.


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## Secretly Pretentious (Dec 18, 2011)

Once. I was too consumed by my anxiety and humiliation to take note on how he responded. Plus, the wall seemed particularly interesting that session.


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## BlueBoo (Mar 21, 2012)

ughh it makes me feel so embarrassed. I try and hold it until he says "I see your mood has changed" or something and that just does it. Then he just looks at me.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

I haven't seen a therapist in over five years, but I cried quite often when I met with her. I tend to bottle up the emotions, and when I get that chance to speak my peace, it all comes out at once like a rush of water. It's embarassing afterwards for me, but I told myself they're used to it.



pythonesque said:


> I have. I hadn't intended to. My therapist had asked me a really mundane question, and as I was replying it suddenly occurred to me how utterly alone and tightly-wound I was. And I just couldn't hold back the tears any longer. She kind of sat there like a robot waiting for me to finish and then resumed her line of questioning. It felt ... cathartic, I guess. But also slightly disappointing that this was all the reaction I got after letting out years of pent-up emotion.
> 
> Come to think of it, it kind of felt like how I do whenever I post on these forums.


:hug
That's sort of how I felt, too. You get this completely meaningless, mundane question and all of a sudden you start realizing how unhappy and lonely you are, in fact, completely surprised by it, and you can't help but let it all out. At once.

My therapist was like that, too, actually. She'd hand me a box of tissues and move on to the next question. She was a horrible therapist, really. She told me once, when I was at my worst telling her how I felt like I didn't contribute anything to society, that my simplicity/meaninglessness made me important because I was a sort of muse for others... I was like WTF? And continued crying. :roll


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## HarryStanluv25 (Jan 26, 2012)

Surprisingly I haven't cried in front of mine yet. At least not full-on sobs. Teary eyes a couple times but I've been able to not cry even during the most difficult moments of my life we've talked about. But there is still time for it to happen so who knows.


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## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

fredbloggs02 said:


> "It takes a lot to make me cry". My therapist did cry for me when I last saw her, she had similar experiences to me as a child. I am the unfortunate half of her in relation to external experiences, her life got better, mine progressively worse. I sometimes think I've perhaps had to endure more than I think I have seeing that, but I won't get depressing. Of course it's alright to cry; I don't because I feel part of my integrity to embrace pain as a block of ice and ask for more instead of burning with petty, half christened tears. If I am not yet invulnerable, I'll show no mark of injury inscribed into me; if I don't believe you have it inside you to follow me into my depths, despite those who Christen what I tell them with tears- diagnoze me with trauma as you choose; if you want to cry for me that's your buissness, my deepest chasms I have yet to uncover or explore myself, only then will I cry about them or rise from them. I wish my therapist had the courage and the soul to descend into my depths. If you cannot follow me, don't assume we understand eachother; cry, then help me, or get out! Don't bleed my integrity to cry for nothing or show me your condolences or pity in that way: that pity offends me..
> 
> most of the reason I don't look at my therapist in the eye is that I doubt her capacity to see me as I am, as I truly suffer, and not just her but allow anyone to hear how my mind truly works. I have my own unpleasant demons noone enjoys contemplating if I bring them to the surface to tackle my problem head on. I feel my therapist is too sensitive, she's not had to grow the spiritual strength I have, she can't follow me. I must be able to do that. I think I'd draw unwarranted condolences and compassion that bleed all over me! and expects mine in return': that will not help me, it pales in comparison to marching further, deeper. I truly believe I would find god and the devil in my depths and be instantly cured. "That which does not kill me makes me stronger"-Nietzsche


Sometimes I wonder which audience you're writing for. I for one enjoy it, anyway.

Also, I think it's okay to be okay with your therapist crying for you, even if it feels like pity. It's a pure expression of empathy, although she may not understand exactly how you feel. She was probably genuinely moved, and couldn't not cry.


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## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

AllToAll said:


> She told me once, when I was at my worst telling her how I felt like I didn't contribute anything to society, that my simplicity/meaninglessness made me important because I was a sort of muse for others... I was like WTF? And continued crying. :roll


Wow... that's pretty bad. And funny in a fcked up way.


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## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

pythonesque said:


> Come to think of it, it kind of felt like how I do whenever I post on these forums.


I'm reading, thoughtfully.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

Rufus said:


> Wow... that's pretty bad. And funny in a fcked up way.


Yes, it's funny in a sort of "I'll add it to my tell-all memoir" way.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

leonardess said:


> therapists have seen everything. no need to worry about crying in front of them - that's part of what therapy is for.


You'd think so. I cried in front of my past therapist quite a few times. Until one day he confessed that seeing clients cry made him feel awkward and he never knew how to respond to them. I was like...whut? Yeah, never let myself cry again in front of him, and it was one of the numerous reasons I decided he was an inept therapist and left for someone else.


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## pythonesque (Jun 16, 2012)

AllToAll said:


> My therapist was like that, too, actually. She'd hand me a box of tissues and move on to the next question. She was a horrible therapist, really. She told me once, when I was at my worst telling her how I felt like I didn't contribute anything to society, that my simplicity/meaninglessness made me important because I was a sort of muse for others... I was like WTF? And continued crying. :roll


Your therapist sounds like a true hipster :lol. But yeah, mine used to say some pretty nonsensical things too. And I have a feeling that maybe they intentionally 'under-react' to you crying because they don't want to alarm you by making a big fuss and having you think your problems are worse than you did before.



Rufus said:


> I'm reading, thoughtfully.


And I appreciate that very much.


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## Dying note (Mar 17, 2009)

I cry almost every session. When I'm asked what has upset me or what I'm thinking, I usually say that I don't mean to cry and don't particularly know why it's happening. It's a mix of things. Actually just knowing what I feel matters at all to someone else can lead me to cry. I'm used to pushing it all away in my mind and feeling nothing, so when it's time to actually talk, everything just goes.


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