# Why is virginity/sex such a big deal?



## mdiada (Jun 18, 2012)

It's SO overrated. I just don't get it.


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## pastels (Sep 18, 2012)

because one person made it a big deal and of course like humans they all followed


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## StevenGlansberg (Apr 1, 2009)

Cause vaginas and boobs are like the funnest things ever.


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## ourwater (Jun 2, 2012)

I was just at the mall, and I was looking at sunglasses in the jewelry. I thought, I buy these women will want to have sex withme. Then I came to my senses, no these fall in the gravel while I am running, and my self esteem will be crushed.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

because you're putting your most private body part inside the most private body part of another human being, one to whom you have a powerful attraction and is a member of the opposite sex for whom you have had a natural curiosity and attraction since childhood. Frankly I can't understand how it could be considered as anything but a big deal.


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## CrimsonTrigger (Jun 28, 2011)

I think sex itself is a big deal in that it is a very intimate act. Virginity is a big deal because it symbolizes one's desire to have a sexual relationship and potentially procreate.

But as to why society makes it a big deal, it's because society wants you to buy their products and keep it alive. As they say, sex sells, so force as much of the population as you can to feel insecure about themselves and they'll go out and buy whatever product you ask them to. 

In all of my years of observing behaviour and coming up with my own thoughts, I've learned that I don't have to listen to or care what everyone else thinks and I can come up with my own personal standards and morals. If I think sex and virginity is a big deal and something very special, I will choose to think that. Likewise, if I think sex is just a fun activity that you can share with anyone you want, I will also think that. 

It's all about how we all feel individually, not collectively.


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## little toaster (Jul 5, 2012)

I also don't get why people make such a contest out of what a guy has done with a girl or what a girl has done with a guy. They think it measures how much of a "winner" you are.


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## ourwater (Jun 2, 2012)

little toaster said:


> They think it measures how much of a "winner" you are.


I was congratulated. I didn't want to tell them I was forced.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

From my experience, it seems to be until you reach about 24, then people grow up. Then again it might just be my demographic.


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## youngloc (Dec 23, 2009)

I can't explain, but when I lost mine I thought the whole quest for it was rather pointless. Usually when you do something you really wanted you should be happy, I just didn't care


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## little toaster (Jul 5, 2012)

AussiePea said:


> From my experience, it seems to be until you reach about 24, then people grow up. Then again it might just be my demographic.


Even at 23-24, some girls are still making a big deal out of it. Maybe I just need to stay away from ******s.


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## ourwater (Jun 2, 2012)

little toaster said:


> Even at 23-24, the girls are still making a big deal out of it. Maybe I just need to stay away from ******s.


Well, my parents had me when they were 30, so..


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## ShadyGFX (Jul 18, 2012)

Because sex one of the basic experiences humans should have. If I die a virgin, I'm gonna be super pissed off.


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## Insider (Sep 17, 2012)

Because it's natural. If someone my age still hasn't done something as natural as having sex, then they're not normal.


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## little toaster (Jul 5, 2012)

Insider said:


> Because it's natural. If someone my age still hasn't done something as natural as having sex, then they're not normal.


So what if they did and had a child while they were going through a busy schedule in college?


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## little toaster (Jul 5, 2012)

Mimic said:


> Luckily we have have contraception.


I forgot to add,

What if someone around 21 didn't have sex because they didn't have contraception and weren't ready to raise a child?


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Sex is most definitely not overrated, especially when you love your partner.


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## ourwater (Jun 2, 2012)

little toaster said:


> So what if they did and had a child while they were going through a busy schedule in college?


My mother was still finishing her thesis when I was 5 months old.


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## little toaster (Jul 5, 2012)

Mimic said:


> Do you know how cheap condoms are?


You can't always remember to get one if you don't know what's gonna happen later that night.


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## NeuroMan (Sep 21, 2012)

I would have have trouble dating a virgin, just because I would want to make is so special because they would always remember it. And I have a fear of accidentally hurting girls (during sex, or just through clumsiness), so a virgin or girl that is petite is too stressful for me, personally. I was glad to have a girl slightly more experienced than me.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Because people are idiots.

I understand that it feels good. But so does listening to music, drinking coffee and getting a caffeine buzz, and reading and experiencing other worlds.

Why is virginity a bigger deal than if you buy and listen to the new Rush album, drink a cup of java, or read a new favorite book? I don't get it.


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## NeuroMan (Sep 21, 2012)

WintersTale said:


> Because people are idiots.
> 
> I understand that it feels good. But so does listening to music, drinking coffee and getting a caffeine buzz, and reading and experiencing other worlds.
> 
> Why is virginity a bigger deal than if you buy and listen to the new Rush album, drink a cup of java, or read a new favorite book? I don't get it.


People aren't idiots just because they are influenced by their genes (with some cultures exaggerating some tendencies). I agree with your point, but if you don't think we aren't still subject to the forces that shaped us, understanding human behavior is hopeless. And, I value reading a book far, far more than caring about virginity beyond, including my own.


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## youngloc (Dec 23, 2009)

WintersTale said:


> Because people are idiots.
> 
> I understand that it feels good. But so does listening to music, drinking coffee and getting a caffeine buzz, and reading and experiencing other worlds.
> 
> Why is virginity a bigger deal than if you buy and listen to the new Rush album, drink a cup of java, or read a new favorite book? I don't get it.


I still think sex is one of the best experience in life, but people, including myself back in the days, over stress themselves on the subject.


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

I was in the middle of typing a detailed post but then I realized that I don't understand the question. Sex is overrated? What the heck does that even mean lol. Overrated how? The feeling it invokes in some people or the emphasis society gives on the act? Either way the answer is simple. Sex is the center of our world. You have to expect people to make a big deal out of it. If sex wasn't treated delicately from some people, the balance of our world would be askew. Keep in mind that sex is how we humans procreate. Procreation deserves emphasis.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

Because vaginas feel good.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

From my experiences, sex doesn't feel as good physiologically as masturbation. But that is just me. Most guys cum quickly (from what I've heard from women). But I'm much less sensitive than the average guy so it's harder for me to cum from sex (before you start envying me guys, read on...) and also to get aroused. Though if I masturbate while fantasizing or watching porn, I can get aroused and cum rather easily.


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## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

It sounds hugely overrated and disgusting to me.


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

Because sex is the whole point of living(reproduction, pleasure, babies, finding a good mate, natural selection, etc.) so of course it is a big deal.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

Because a penis belongs in a vagina, and nowhere else, unless you're peeing.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

Mercurochrome said:


> Because a penis belongs in a vagina, and nowhere else, unless you're peeing.


:yes

I've never been inside a vagina.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

ravens said:


> :yes
> 
> I've never been inside a vagina.


Not exactly true. All of us come out of one.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

WintersTale said:


> Not exactly true. All of us come out of one.


That's true. :lol


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## sorrwel (May 20, 2012)

Because it's awesome in every way possible!


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

WintersTale said:


> Not exactly true. All of us come out of one.


Caesarian. You know, C- Section? So not all of us.

And test tube babies. But the government doesn't want you to know about those.


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## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

cause its a big deal to the majority


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

little toaster said:


> What if someone around 21 didn't have sex because they didn't have contraception and weren't ready to raise a child?


That seems highly unlikely as they can buy condoms & can visit Planned Parenthood for free contraception. Not to mention how there are numerous sexual acts that don't involve a penis in a vagina.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

little toaster said:


> You can't always remember to get one if you don't know what's gonna happen later that night.


Couldn't one purchase condoms in advance? They're so compact that you can even carry some with you. Maybe to be really safe you could wear a condom at all times just in case you trip & fall into a vagina.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

To me, sex has always been overrated, long-term partner existant or not. There's many more things that are more fun - going to theme parks, going on holiday, playing video games. Such things last longer and are more enjoyable than what people go through having sex.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

Nekomata said:


> To me, sex has always been overrated, long-term partner existant or not. There's many more things that are more fun - going to theme parks, going on holiday, playing video games. Such things last longer and are more enjoyable than what people go through having sex.


Either you're asexual, or you've been with guys who didn't know how to please you.


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## little toaster (Jul 5, 2012)

UltraShy said:


> Couldn't one purchase condoms in advance? They're so compact that you can even carry some with you. Maybe to be really safe you could wear a condom at all times just in case you trip & fall into a vagina.


Yeah, I know. But if it's too far in advance, it can expire. When you're drunk, you don't always remember to look at the expiration date or check for possible holes.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

I don't know. I think it's moronic to make it a big deal.


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

You have no excuse leaving high school a virgin.

Or so I've been told.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

Peter Attis said:


> You have no excuse leaving high school a virgin.
> 
> Or so I've been told.


I was told by a guy that it was weird that I was a virgin at 16. What would he think that I'm a virgin at almost 42.


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## xstrongandsilentx (Jul 17, 2010)

Idk it's tough I guess depends in what context your talking about sex in. One night stands or relationships you know because I see them differently. It may not matter if your single and all you want from is instant pleasure but if your in a relationship it means something diffrent atleast in my opinion. I think it's the most intimate thing you could do with someone its one of the only things that you and your partner share together unless your into the whole camera thing hahaha. But on the real pretty much only you and your partner get to see how people react during sex get to see their O face get to see know them in that light I think it's kinda special.......at least the first time hahaha well thats my sappy as hell answer so thereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

little toaster said:


> Yeah, I know. But if it's too far in advance, it can expire. When you're drunk, you don't always remember to look at the expiration date or check for possible holes.


I don't know if you're joking or serious here.

While condoms don't last forever they're not going to expire next week or next month or even next year.

Perhaps if you're too intoxicated to operate a condom you might consider not having sex at all.


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## little toaster (Jul 5, 2012)

UltraShy said:


> I don't know if you're joking or serious here.
> 
> While condoms don't last forever they're not going to expire next week or next month or even next year.
> 
> Perhaps if you're too intoxicated to operate a condom you might consider not having sex at all.


I wasn't trying to have a serious conversation with 100% accurate details all the way.

It's hard to take control of the situation if the girl is quite aggressive when you're both drunk. Not like violent or anything, but you know what I mean.


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## forex (Dec 29, 2010)

mdiada said:


> It's SO overrated. I just don't get it.


i'ts about the act not the "virgin" label.its not overrated , it's a normal thing its natural that comes with time.


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## Resonance (Feb 11, 2010)

CrimsonTrigger said:


> But as to why society makes it a big deal, it's because society wants you to buy their products and keep it alive. As they say, sex sells, so force as much of the population as you can to feel insecure about themselves and they'll go out and buy whatever product you ask them to.


Pretty much this, I imagine virginity isn't quite the issue in societies that don't have marketing people.

See, sex is good, people enjoy it. So you want to associate your products with it, to build a mental association of PRODUCT=SEX=GOODNESS.

You also want to tie sex to status for two reasons, firstly, because if people associate your SEXY product with some kind of ephemeral status symbol, they will buy into it even more, and secondly, because it makes people who are/feel they are of low status more likely to buy your product.

Naturally, fostering insecurity over lack of sex also increases sales of products that imply they increase your chances of getting it.


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

For me, it's not sex that's the big deal as much as the need to be sexually attractive to someone and for that person to be accepting of my sexual self. The actual activities are just a bonus.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

TPower said:


> Either you're asexual, or you've been with guys who didn't know how to please you.


Not enjoying sex doesn't necessarily equate to not bring with someone who knows what they are doing or asexuality. I have never had an orgasm through penetrative sex, oral sex, handjobs (unless I gave myself one. Lol), etc. and I've had sex with escorts even in addition to regular girls (the escorts give better blowjobs by far). So I can't attribute it to the partner's lack of skill. lol. And I know I'm not asexual. I fantasize or watch porn and jerk off. It's not like sex isn't pleasurable at all. It can be pleasurable. But on a physiological level, masturbation feels a lot better for me.

There are lots of women in that boat. Where they don't enjoy sex all that much but they can get themselves off masturbating. I'm in that boat as well. Though it's unusual for a male. Since most men cum in like 3 minutes or whatever. lol. That's why they are so desperate to chase *****. Any *****.


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## annonymoususer100 (Mar 3, 2013)

because we love *****


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Because we're born to have sex.


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

it's a sign of: unattractiveness, sa, failure, loneliness, no life achievements

i mean think about it if you look at the contrary: an attractive, outgoing, successful guy with a lot of friends and experience, can he ever be a virgin?? 

i'm not saying all virgins possess those traits, but that is the reason why people even only subconsciously be afraid or anxious to be a virgin because they don't want to be related to those


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## EternallyRestless (Jul 19, 2011)

For me a lot of it is the fear of being rejected because I'm a virgin. And I'm tired of hearing "if someone likes you enough they won't care." Well you know what, it's hard to find someone who likes you that much.


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## Mongoose (Oct 26, 2012)

monotonous said:


> it's a sign of: unattractiveness, sa, failure, loneliness, no life achievements
> 
> i mean think about it if you look at the contrary: an attractive, outgoing, successful guy with a lot of friends and experience, can he ever be a virgin??
> 
> i'm not saying all virgins possess those traits, but that is the reason why people even only subconsciously be afraid or anxious to be a virgin because they don't want to be related to those


This perfectly sums up why I'm better off castrating myself. I wish there was a drug I could take that would castrate me and take away all desire for women because none will ever accept me.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

It is overrated, unless you're horny, then it all suddenly makes sense


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Man there are more important things in life to be concerned about. I was treated like a thug by cops a couple days ago due to a misunderstanding. They thought I was some attempted thief. Treated me like absolute garbage. Is that how you treat a law-abiding citizen who pays your salary? (taxpayer). When they let me go, no sorry or anything for the way they treated me. If I was a black man, no doubt I would be black and blue today. 

There are more important things than virginity and getting laid. Like being a victim of the Police State and treated like a criminal just because you are a young man (especially if you are black) who "looks suspicious". And being put under the threat of state-sanctioned violence and imprisonment. 

People are slaves and have had their civil rights stripped to such an extent and having to encounter this for myself made me realize what really matters in this world. Changed my perspective about the second amendment (I'm very pro-gun rights at the moment. I think it's ****ed up that the state have a monopoly on violence and that if you don't submit to the will of these corrupt pigs, you'll get beaten by a baton, tazered or shot at) and about cops (I am extremely distrustful of them now) and the tyranny of the state (my political views have gotten strong now). Being interrogated by 3 police officers was very scary. I really just wanted to get out of there so I cooperated with the police and tried not to make it seem like I was incriminating myself while under intense pressure from the police (I did not commit any crime but they were making all of these claims that they had me on tape looking into vehicles. What are you supposed to say to that besides saying that this isn't true? And it wasn't true. They were taking liberties with how they were interpreting the video footage, which they did not show me. You are put in a powerless position with these thugs.)


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