# Today i cried.



## michelleng (Sep 9, 2014)

I just had to vent/get this off my chest... I work at Target and it's either a really good place for someone with social anxiety to work or a really bad place. For me, it has been both. It takes *a lot* of effort, but I am able to pretend to be outgoing while cashiering... And there's this one higher up at my store who has always had it out for me, because sometimes I guess my shyness shows through. And finally she pulls me aside and talks to me about how I need to engage more with the guests, when I already engage just as much, sometimes more, than the other cashiers. The customers are always happy with me, it's just her. I just started bawling my eyes out when she was talking to me cause *I try 10 TIMES as hard as anyone else to do what comes natural to them.* And my eyes were all red and I still had 5 hours left in my shift....* It just sucks how hard I have to try and how people can't understand this. * And this whole thing made me think about how I can't make it far in life being this way. I won't be able to get a good job even though I'm in college, won't be able to keep a boyfriend cause I'm so shy, I won't have anything... I'll have no purpose on this earth if I continue to be this way... i'm just gonna start sobbing again soon. =( I feel so uselesssss!!!


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## wrongguy (Jan 22, 2015)

Retail sucks for SA people. I did it for three years. It sucked.


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## pork (Sep 4, 2011)

You're a cashier. What kind of engagement do they expect other than a friendly hello and answering any questions the customer has?


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## jennykaylynn (Dec 19, 2014)

I'm in the same boat!! I'm a server & it SUCKS for me feeling like an idiot every day. Trying SO hard, and getting no results 
Good luck to you! Wish I had some advice.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Yea, I don't get how anyone with social anxiety can do an 8 hour shift in retail. I can only fake it for soo long.


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## michelleng (Sep 9, 2014)

wrongguy said:


> Retail sucks for SA people. I did it for three years. It sucked.


omg 3 years, props to you. I've only been here 7 months and I think I'm starting to lose it haha


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## wrongguy (Jan 22, 2015)

Yeah I was in pretty bad shape toward the end. Not fun :no


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## mdw41820 (Jan 29, 2015)

Retail is awful with people who have SA.
It's okay, just keep trying your best. There's always going to be that one person in the group that's a bad apple. It's like the law of life or something. If everything is going perfect there will always be that one person that screws everything up. Don't take it personal. Just keep doing what you're doing and take it as a learning experience. Criticism and having to put up with crap is something everybody has to deal with in their job. Trust me. It's nothing personal. It's not you. It's them.


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## thinkstoomuch101 (Jun 7, 2012)

She sounds like a shark that sees "blood in the water".. instead of being human, and understanding you? She goes in for a feeding frenzy. 

Looks as if she must be a well-trained bully. You can only do so much with a customer. If you get too "chummy" - you'll creep out the customers and get complaints. 

Just stay professional, and if it's possible, ask that "higher up" to please crawl up into to her ***ss - and pull the hole in after her...


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## frozeninalberta (Feb 3, 2015)

Don't listen to her.not every customer likes small talk.for me a simple hello is all I need anymore and I get nervous! Lol


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## iKenn (Jul 30, 2013)

_I hope your oke best of luck to you.
It's a tough world out there, you just have to manage somehow._


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## 4EverLostGirl (Feb 2, 2015)

MY STORY EXACTLY. I cant please nobody for nothing! I used to work at Walmart, went from cashier to Electronics. Let's just say that SA always got the better of me even when I was doing really well with Sales relations. My stress gets so high at times that I end up forgetting simple tasks. For your sake (because I know it will exacerbate it) I just wanna say that I've seen the worst end of it and i won't say what about it. Hopefully, you can find a better job soon. I liked Walmart very much and didn't mind the people. Goodness, i swear we must be doing something wrong by being nice because years later and that betch still has her job along with one other who were both against me. No one likes her, but they keep right along anyway. I have a handful of stories about that job and I still don't get them.


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## Nothing123 (Oct 3, 2014)

I do really well with customers  its just someone higher up who seems to have a problem with me, even tho shes the one whos rude.


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

Just because of this you think you have no pourpose in life ? bs.

Study as hard as you can so then you will be the one bossing people around and no one is going to tell you anything.
It will be hard to get a boyfriend if you are shy, but you know what? if you choose wisely and start (or respond to the other person who makes the first move, if you like it) your relationship will last way longer than those of the other girls who are more "wild" and stuff because they dont value much this kind of stuff or how hard it is. This does not mean that if you turn to date w an ******* you should keep doing that because "it was too hard in the first place", no no, that's why I said "choose wisely", just evaluate people as much as you can, their pros and cons to you, and so on ..

regards.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

I used to suffer from agoraphobia and spoke to no one for years, then I worked retail for almost 4 years now. I work 40 hours a week on average and sometimes take 10 hour shifts. I'll always be shy or introverted yet this is definitely helping me learn how to properly interact with people and not care too much about validation ironically so. Snobby people come and go. 

It still takes a lot out of me but I'm slowly getting better. It's best to take it simply one day at a time and try not to stress about it. Most people just wanna buy their stuff and get the hell outta there. Coworkers are just there mainly for money. When you realize that you are indeed making progress, slowly but surely, hopefully you can learn to give yourself more credit where credit's due.

I also agree with sajs
I personally think most guys would prefer a girl who doesn't wanna party 24/7. I agree that party peeps sometimes don't really appreciate a decent girlfriend/boyfriend as often as they should.


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## TooBad12 (Jan 21, 2015)

hun.. I could change a lot

my voice could be cooler. I could wear cooler clothes. Coolers boxers. (you know that) lol.

And so could you. You could be more like your manager wants you to be. You could be more like YOU want you to be. But me? I just want you to be the way you are. because that's the person I love. and I know you are wayyy better in every way than anyone knows. And honestly.. if you were anyone else.. it would break my heart </3
cause then I would be without you ......

keep on going hun <3


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## thetah (Dec 25, 2014)

I volunteer at a charity shop (basically the same as retail except you don't get paid lol) and I've found being on the till has helped my social anxiety a fair amount. The interim manager was a lovely woman who was fair and had reasonable expectations of all the volunteers.

Unfortunately, the old manager has returned and he's a horrible angry middle-aged man who gives people (or at least me anyway) multiple tasks to do and then complains when they haven't all been done, even though there's hardly enough time to do one of them. He even called me outside of work to ask what I had done with some forms he had apparently given to me (he hadn't given me any forms) and implicitly accused me of stealing them (asking if they were in my bag).


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## michelleng (Sep 9, 2014)

Bunnymoo7 said:


> I do really well with customers  its just someone higher up who seems to have a problem with me, even tho shes the one whos rude.


This is me exactly, are we the same person??! :b


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## michelleng (Sep 9, 2014)

sajs said:


> Just because of this you think you have no pourpose in life ? bs.
> 
> Study as hard as you can so then you will be the one bossing people around and no one is going to tell you anything.
> It will be hard to get a boyfriend if you are shy, but you know what? if you choose wisely and start (or respond to the other person who makes the first move, if you like it) your relationship will last way longer than those of the other girls who are more "wild" and stuff because they dont value much this kind of stuff or how hard it is. This does not mean that if you turn to date w an ******* you should keep doing that because "it was too hard in the first place", no no, that's why I said "choose wisely", just evaluate people as much as you can, their pros and cons to you, and so on ..
> ...


Thank you, I appreciate this. It's just that's my problem: I can't boss people around. I'm incapable of doing that, even though I'm a good student... I just feel like I won't be able to get a great job because of my shyness & anxiety. And that scares me.


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## Nothing123 (Oct 3, 2014)

@michelleng Well the problem has since been sorted out, but yeah i usually have had problems with staff, and very rarely with customers lol


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

michelleng said:


> Thank you, I appreciate this. It's just that's my problem: I can't boss people around. I'm incapable of doing that, even though I'm a good student... I just feel like I won't be able to get a great job because of my shyness & anxiety. And that scares me.


Well, dont do it ! I mean, there is quite a difference in bossing around and asking for people to do their job right if you see they dont. Of course, in high salary jobs you will have certain kind of responsabilities, but I bet you will be used to it, just keep it in mind and make yourself comfortable with the feeling that some day you will be at a good job and you will need to do things that need to be done, its not like you are going to pick on anyone (like the one who does it to you), but you cant also risk your job for people not doing what they are supposed to be doing.

And you're welcome.


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