# What to do about being mentally slow?



## sunbunny (Sep 20, 2007)

*Mentally slow?*

Recently I've realized that after all my years of doing what's "comfortable" and shying away from talking to people, that i'm now mentally slow. or just "not there." I feel "there" in my head, but I think that's where the problem lies. It's all in my head.

Alot of the time I want to verbalize what's in my head, but by the time I've figured out what I want to contribute it's too late because the timing is way off. Conversational timing is so important.

Does anyone have any tips for this type of thing..?


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## Cedilla (Dec 25, 2009)

I've never been good with timing in a conversation, to much laughter, and confusion. The link between my mind and mouth seems to have a bad connection. lol So.... I can't really help you, but I understand where you are coming from.


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## cubanscorpio (Jun 30, 2010)

yea, i can relate to this too. my theory is SA people like us are too self conscious. when you're self conscious you tend to think way too much. and when you think too much before you speak you seem "slow". do you think that people that are good conversationalists think all that stuff up before they say it? hell no. they're instinctive. they dont think too much before they speak. everything they say its pretty much said subconsciously.


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## Pr0n (May 20, 2010)

^^ Exactly. And SA generally tends to tire you. That's just the way it is. I'm sure you probably noticed that on your good days you don't feel mentally slow at all.


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## straightarrows (Jun 18, 2010)

same here, I feel the same sometimes,,, but when I'm happy I'm 180d diff


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## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

I bet you're not slow at all. It's just that when you're terrified and experiencing major stress it can be difficult to appear intelligent and smooth.


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## successful (Mar 21, 2009)

im the same way lol, everytime i get asked something i have to say "ummmmmmmmmm....." and think of what to say and how to put it together

it's soo annoying, people must think im high or something when i do that lmao


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

^ Same here, except I remain silent. At my appointment this week there were a few extended silences (one was about 15 seconds long), but they waited patiently for the answers, which doesn't happen in social situations. Exercising first and other forms of stimulation help.


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## notcrazy (Jul 2, 2010)

sunbunny said:


> Recently I've realized that after all my years of doing what's "comfortable" and shying away from talking to people, that i'm now mentally slow. or just "not there." I feel "there" in my head, but I think that's where the problem lies. It's all in my head.
> 
> Alot of the time I want to verbalize what's in my head, but by the time I've figured out what I want to contribute it's too late because the timing is way off. Conversational timing is so important.
> 
> Does anyone have any tips for this type of thing..?


Hah. Sunbunny. I'm in the same boat. When I'm talking with people I find myself struggling sometimes to form a coherent sentence, or even recalling a specific word. Others will actually finish my sentence as I try to think of the next word which is embarassing.

You can try brain training. The brainworkshop is a free mental exercise program that stretches your ability to pay attention and most importantly your "working memory". In fact dual N back is the only known exercise atm that has had some pretty significant results in increasing "fluid intelligence". Which is pretty important for verbal fluency.

The board itself has a lot of threads on how to increase veral intelligence and things of that nature.

http://groups.google.com/group/brai...1d634461fda?lnk=gst&q=verbal#a75751d634461fda

So here are a few things you can try out:
-Joining a toastmasters group. They'll teach you how to formulate thoughts in your head and how to present the. 
-Improv class, you learn how to speak from your GUT and think on your feet. One thing I noticed about SA is that you get STUCK inside your head. You become so self-conscious about saying the right thing, or being witty, or sounding smart that it throws you into this loop of anxiety, building up and up. 
-You can try before going to bed, thinking of a random topic (Random topic generator if you have an iphone), and just speaking about that topic non stop for 3 minutes without saying um. 
-Try to focus on your thoughts, your bodily sensations, and just start stating it. "My back hurts in this position"
-Also, one cool thing I've tried is setting a timer up to ring every 10 minutes or 15 minutes and SAYING the first thing that comes to mind. It gets you into a habit. At first you will say short things like, "I'm hungry" or "Im tired". But after some practice you will start to tap into more advanced thoughts and feelings.


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## queller (Jul 2, 2010)

I have found writing to be very useful. It serves two important functions: 1) makes my mass of swirling thoughts more coherent before verbalizing, 2) allows me to vent some of the pent up feelings arising from the thoughts. Writing is very engaging and cathartic for some people. You could write to yourself or start a blog (private or public). Sometimes I write letters to people but don't send them. Sounds silly but it's really useful.


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## shygirl86 (May 17, 2007)

Yeah this happens to me too. 
But i agree with the others, i think you're not really slow. Especially if you didn't used to be. You don't just lose that, unless you take lots of drugs or never sleep... it's probably more a mood thing. 

Or maybe you're talking about a lack of social skills? I guess the only way to work on that is practice, and learning from others. Which sounds like dumb advice for someone with SA, but even talking to people online counts. And you could probably observe people in the real world, just try not to be too obvious about it or it might get creepy .
But it's also important who you're trying to socialise with. If they're the wrong type of people, they might make it a whole lot harder. I can talk normally to some people and totally freeze and go blank around others, just depending on how they make me feel.
And thanks for bringing this up, cos i needed reminding that SA can do that.


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## MaddyRose (Dec 25, 2009)

Reading is always good brain exercise. I've been meaning to read more this summer, but haven't gotten around to it and I've been feeling a little slow too. You could start at your reading level and start working up to more dense stuff...make the synapses in your brain stronger and work faster, and make you quicker on the uptake, for conversation.


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## ApprovalAddict (Jul 1, 2010)

Experienced it too.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

I know exactly what you mean. I've finally managed to accept the thought that I am not stupid. For years I thought that was my problem. But that's not it. 

I think this kind of thing simply stems from a lack of practice because, often the case with having SA is, we just did not get to practice being around a lot of people at one time and participating in discussions, as they became more and more rapid as our peer group got older....and so we missed out on that practice, and so we lag behind. So I guess the answer is, practice. I am currently working my way through Edward de Bono's books which I am hopeful will increase mental agility, which should translate to verbal agility. Lots of other good tips on here for getting that practice we missed out on. 

The good news seems to be (at least it has been for me) that whatever our peers spent years learning, took them the requisite period of years. But if you are older, say, you start this type of stuff at 30, it seems to happen in dog years. What everyone else learned from, say 10 years old until 20 years old, will take the 30 year old less time with dedicated persistent practice.


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## IAmOne (Jul 4, 2010)

Just say whatever comes to mind.

No matter how rude or embarrassing it is.

Loosen your inhibitions and realize that you're not going to please every ******* out there.

I was there before. I still prefer to be seen and not heard, but holding a conversation is nothing anymore.


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## iuseings (Nov 11, 2009)

You're not slow...
What you are describing is anxiety.
You are worrying too much about what to say and how you say it because you don't think you can interact with people. 
If you were in situations which you felt comfortable about who you are, I don't think you would have any problem reacting and conversating.


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## Belshazzar (Apr 12, 2010)

All the time. Part of it is SA, part of it is ADD, but part of it is simply how I think. Most of my thoughts are visual or abstract concepts and English is like a second language that I need to "translate" these into. Sometimes I just flat out forget what the hell I was trying to say in the first place. Though, like any skill, you get better with practice.


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## deeds14 (Jul 9, 2009)

I doubt that you're mentally slow. You articulate yourself very well. You're just very self-conscious and seem to over-analyze what you want to say.


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## BeatingSAwithastick (Jan 6, 2009)

Mine's got so bad that I have trouble articulating sentences half the time. I sometimes even say the last words in the sentence first and so on. I think it has alot to do with just getting it out inspite of the anxiety. Other times I can't pronounce words and make childish pronunciations...bloody hate it.


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## Namida (Mar 27, 2011)

I never knew that being mentally slow is its own set of problem until I read this thread. I've always thought it was due to my muddle-headed personality. 

Now I need some brain exercise! Thank you all of you forumers who provided the solutions! Hopefully it'll help us to be more social!


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## tomcoldaba (Jul 1, 2007)

That is what SA does for you. I have been a Toastmaster for 3 years. Still, I am silent as my mind goes blank. Funny, sometimes I just let people know that my mind went blank. They laugh and say that they experience similar situations.


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## Hart (Jun 20, 2012)

Oh wow. So glad I found this thread! Everyone thinks I am slow but really my mind goes blank in social situations and I can't breath. I hate trying to explain this because noone understands and they think it's a coverup. I do believe if you don't frequently use verbal communication you will defintely lose social skills. I hope my SA didn't make me slow


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## paravoid (Jun 18, 2012)

If you're feeling really self-conscious, then you're going to spending your limited mental resources in a way that doesn't make for good conversation.

I guess the goal is to try and focus more on the other person and less on yourself.

That's the funny thing with SA. You will worry about what people think of you, and because you're so focused on how you appear, you may end up coming across as self-absorbed and/or just uninterested.


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## moya (Feb 16, 2012)

Don't pressure yourself to be 'quick' and actually give yourself time. The more you worry about timing it right, the slower it'll get.


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## andy0128 (Dec 19, 2003)

With certain things I can come up with answers very quickly, but in banal converation i struggle to think of things to say. Also if i was to talk about something for a few minutes adlib i can't do that at all, whereas to others it comes naturally. I guess I look upon it as a difference in though process than a weakness particularly.


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## anon250 (Jun 22, 2012)

*Hopeless*

It seems like we are all hopeless. There is no medication to fix clumsiness or slowness. Therapist is not going to help you because they do not know what to do. They always say, it is up to you to change your life. You are the one who have to work hard. Fxxk them. Fxxk modern psychology Fxxk modern society. Fxxk social networking. Fxxk facebook. Fxxk capitalism.
Fxxk human. Fxxk life. And as for people like us, we might as well kill ourselves BECAUSE we are not needed.


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## paravoid (Jun 18, 2012)

anon250 said:


> It seems like we are all hopeless. There is no medication to fix clumsiness or slowness. Therapist is not going to help you because they do not know what to do. They always say, it is up to you to change your life. You are the one who have to work hard. Fxxk them. Fxxk modern psychology Fxxk modern society. Fxxk social networking. Fxxk facebook. Fxxk capitalism.
> Fxxk human. Fxxk life. And as for people like us, we might as well kill ourselves BECAUSE we are not needed.


I've actually found phenibut to really help with my cognitive functioning.


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## anon250 (Jun 22, 2012)

If your head is slow like mine, smash it. It feels so good. Tell yourself that you are piece of cxxp, and good for nothing; you are unpopular and ugly; you are old, but you still have found life you wanted. What was the life I wanted? I forgot. After being broke, and unable to get a job (thanks to my slow brain and body), I do not remember what I wanted for my life. 

I still know that I hate my life, people, society, and human being is hopeless that we all are going down. I cannot wait for the day we all gonna die. 
So fxxk whatever you have or I have, and hope for the destruction!


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## catharus guttarus (Oct 28, 2014)

I can definitely relate to the part about spending so much time on your own that in the end you find it difficult to keep up with conversation. I spent years hiding from the world and now that I've started to get involved with people I find that it takes too long for my brain to process what they are saying to me. 

My mind is too preoccupied with the moment of conversation for it to process the actual content of what is being said, and I end up looking like some kind of bizarre idiot. It is only afterwards, when I replay the conversation in my head, in my own time, that I understand the meaning. It makes me feel bad that I can only think clearly when I'm alone because it robs me of the pleasure of intelligent conversation.


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## WillCedar (Feb 25, 2013)

I can relate with this too. I find it's much easier if I slip a Klonopin. However I'm so inexperienced in socializing compared to others that it's never going to be easy for me. 

Interestingly, I read a book recently called "Quiet" that discusses how hard it is for introverts to engage in conversation. Many babies are born with high-reactive amygdalas, a part of the brain that reacts to new stimuli, and those babies tend to grow up into introverts or likely to struggle with anxiety. They can only handle so much stimulation as their brain is constantly moving so fast. During a simple conversation, if they're nervous which is natural for people with SA, they're thinking how did my last sentence sound, what does the other person's change in body language mean, why can't I stay in the present, am I faking it enough that I'm not nervous, are they faking that they can't tell, along with a million other things, and at the same time we have to come up with a new response or another thing to stay within 1 second to further along the conversation. It's almost impossible for us. 

I'm freaking out for a Christmas party I have to go to in 5 hours from now. It's at a family member's house where 65 other people were invited. So this means I'll have to mingle with other people I don't know for 3 hours. This will be the first time I'm taking 2 Klonopins even though my prescription is 1 daily or as needed. I feel like in 5 hours I'll be standing next to the dessert table like a gladiator waiting for the lions to be let in. I'd actually rather that happen. This is going to be the worst night of my life!


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## Kml5111 (Dec 16, 2012)

successful said:


> im the same way lol, everytime i get asked something i have to say "ummmmmmmmmm....." and think of what to say and how to put it together
> 
> it's soo annoying, people must think im high or something when i do that lmao


This happens to me on a daily basis at my job. Sometimes I wonder if I am just retarded.


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## Kml5111 (Dec 16, 2012)

notcrazy said:


> Hah. Sunbunny. I'm in the same boat. When I'm talking with people I find myself struggling sometimes to form a coherent sentence, or even recalling a specific word. Others will actually finish my sentence as I try to think of the next word which is embarassing.
> 
> You can try brain training. The brainworkshop is a free mental exercise program that stretches your ability to pay attention and most importantly your "working memory". In fact dual N back is the only known exercise atm that has had some pretty significant results in increasing "fluid intelligence". Which is pretty important for verbal fluency.
> 
> ...


Very interesting ideas. I will use these and see what happens.


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## Kind Of (Jun 11, 2014)

Beyond things like improving diet/exercise, I think it's a matter of familiarity and general health. Stressed, overworked, malnutritioned, tired, unbalanced... it all slows you down.


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