# Ive never kissed a girl



## JRob (Apr 22, 2006)

and im in 10th grade. I feel like such a loser, i cant get a girlfriend because im so shy and i never talk, i see all these people with boyfriends and girlfriends and i think to myself (How do they do it?) Im so sad inside =( gr.......


----------



## RMJS (Jun 9, 2005)

When I was in tenth grade I was thinking exactly as you are; "still haven't kissed a girl"; "never had a real relationship"; but you know what? It's nothing to me now. Sure I've kissed a girl, but even if I didn't, it wouldn't matter.

Just try to hold your own for the next year - maybe two - and things will become better.


----------



## RX2000 (Jan 25, 2004)

Lots of people here are 25+ and have never done anything with a girl.


----------



## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

RX2000 said:


> Lots of people here are 25+ and have never done anything with a girl.


Girls? What are they? :lol


----------



## Ramoz (Feb 6, 2006)

RX2000 said:


> Lots of people here are 25+ and have never done anything with a girl.


I'm working on my 25+ membership. Do I get some sort of monetary prize for joining? Inflatable doll?

You still have the rest of high school and you already know what your problem is. That's one step to getting better. When I was in high school, I thought it was just normal the crap I had to go through in social situations.


----------



## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

Don't sweat it man. I don't see why there is so much pressure on kids to experience these things at such a young age. You're what...15, 16? I don't mean to sound harsh but you're still very young and there's plenty of time for things to happen. I know how it feels, I felt the same frustration at your age but looking back I realize I was still pretty young and probably not mature enough for a lasting relationship. The important thing is you realize something is wrong now while you're still young and you can do something about it. I wish I had done something when I was younger instead of looking back with regret on so many wasted years. I'm a few months away from turning 31 and I've never dated, kissed, held hands, even hugged a girl. Don't end up wasting your life away like me, get help now while you are still young because trust me, once you get to this point it feels completely hopeless.


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Lonelyguy said:


> I'm a few months away from turning 31 and I've never dated, kissed, held hands, even hugged a girl.


I'm closer to 31 than he is and in the same situation....:stu


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Lonelyguy said:


> I'm a few months away from turning 31 and I've never dated, kissed, held hands, even hugged a girl.


I'm closer to 31 than he is and in the same situation....:stu


----------



## Anti-Charisma (Nov 17, 2004)

25 and in the same boat.

Sh*t happens.


----------



## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

It's amazing to me how much things have changed in 10 years. When I was that age, there really wasn't any pressure at all to be involved with the opposite sex at any level. In fact, I think most of my classmates had zero experience as well. I think the only ones getting any action were the football players and the cheerleaders.

But these days...wow. It's like if you don't have sex by 13, then you're considered a loser.


----------



## C3P0 (Apr 10, 2006)

JRob said:


> and im in 10th grade. I feel like such a loser, i cant get a girlfriend because im so shy and i never talk, i see all these people with boyfriends and girlfriends and i think to myself (How do they do it?) Im so sad inside =( gr.......


I'm 30 years old, and I have not kissed a girl on her lips or french kissed a girl. And, in the past, say 29 years, I would not see myself as even having an opportunity to do that.

What you need to do, perhaps like in American Pie, is see if there are other guys who are like yourself, and set up some group pact where you will all try to get girlfriends by particular time. It seems to me that you need peer support. There has to be other people in your class that you can relate to, who like girls, but have no success with them.


----------



## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

Kissing is just........ kissing. I made out with a girl I was really not attracted to about a month and a half ago or so. I don't even know why. 

WHen you see people together that doesn't mean their lives are complete.. like if they died in that moment their souls will cuddle together forever. For all you know they will go home and ***** and moan with each other over the most trivial crap... especially at your age. And people today seem to dig drama. Maybe the reality TV **** is brainwashing them into thinking that is the way it goes or something. And all those seemingly happy couples... they could be with each other just to be with each othe, just to not be alone... and neither one may know. Especially at 10th grade level. None of that **** lasts. It's just teenage first time love and it's nice but then they go off to college and turn into different people. So, just forget them. while you're crying feeling sorry for yourself your dog probably wants to sit on your lap and watch TV with you... or has to pee and wants you to let him out. either way, you've got somebody.

my advice is terrible.


----------



## RMJS (Jun 9, 2005)

JRob,

Alright, if you're really desperate and really feel like you need a girl, this is what I found helped me the most.

Make yourself appear more confident. If you have trouble with that - like I did - just put on a blank face when you're at your most nervous -- Walk down the hallway, head back, chest out; make it seem like nothing can or would even try to faze you.

To get with the girls, it's best to start with the guys. Try to associate with a relatively out-going, extroverted group of guys; the kind of guys that unfarmiliar people just walk up to and start talking with. If you're shy, they will carry you on their shoulders, and when a girl sees that, she gets to thinking, "Hey, if they like him so much, he must be worth - at least - talking to."

All I can think of at the moment.

Good luck bro.


----------



## Ross (Apr 10, 2004)

I'm not too sure if that'd be a good idea, RMJS.

I've hung around with a lot of people who were popular, they just mainly seem to attract the wrong kind of girls, the superficial ones who'd never be interested in a shy guy or a lower status male.


----------



## lonesomeboy (Aug 29, 2005)

27 and same deal.

i give up basically because i know there is no hope for me. Your young you stil have plenty of time. don't give up.


----------



## AnxiousAirman (Oct 15, 2004)

> i give up basically because i know there is no hope for me.


 :hugI may not be the best person to be saying this but....
There is hope for everyone, don't give up. You never knew what will be thrown your way. It'd be a shame to miss the opportunity of a lifetime because you had a closed mind.

I've hugged, kissed and cuddled...but never really kissed on the lips.
I don't think you should really worry too much about kissing and intimacy yet. Its not gonna happen until you get comfortable with a girl anyway, and all that stuff does is make you more anxious around someone your attracted to.


----------



## itsmemaggi (Sep 26, 2005)

I wish I was still a prude.

xoxo
Maggi


----------



## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

itsmemaggi said:


> I wish I was still a prude.
> 
> xoxo
> Maggi


Why?


----------



## archaic (Jan 16, 2006)

You've got plenty of years left! Relax. 


My first kiss was with this guy I met online, and wasn't attracted to him at all (and he was kind of creepy; the entire time, I was regretting hanging out with him but I was an hour from home and hadn't driven), but I just wanted to get it over with. Then I told him I was crazy so he would leave me alone. Moral of the story - it's not a race.


----------



## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

JRob said:


> and im in 10th grade. I feel like such a loser, i cant get a girlfriend because im so shy and i never talk, i see all these people with boyfriends and girlfriends and i think to myself (How do they do it?) Im so sad inside =( gr.......


Never have and probably never will. Might as well declair myself gay; I'd probably be more likely to get a kiss from a girl after doing this but it would have a different meaning ofcourse.

There's probably at least one guy out there that finds me attractive but no girls. I don't swing that way though.


----------



## michaelg (Jan 29, 2005)

JRob, same situation here.. tenth grade and never had a girlfriend. What I don't understand is how other people, even outgoing unshy people, get girlfriends in school. See http://socialanxietysupport.com/viewtopic.php?t=43847 for my post on that.


----------



## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

JRob, 

Being in 10th grade and not having kissed a girl before is nothing. There are a lot of teenage boys that havien't kissed a girl, and vice versa with many teenage girls that haven't kissed a boy. 

Try being 40 years old like me and never have kissed - or gone out with - a girl. THAT is what I call sad. 

Even if I got my head on straight and was able to completely get over my SA today, I think I am a lost cause. What woman would want to go out with a 40 yr old guy that has never kissed a girl or been on a date?

So, JRob, you got plenty of time. You're lucky. You've been able to find out you have SA while you are still young. You have time to work on it and to overcome it. My problem was I didn't know that I had SA (the source of my problems) until I was around 39 yrs old. I have improved much since then, but as I said, it's probably too late for me.

Lifetimer


----------



## Ramoz (Feb 6, 2006)

Lifetimer said:


> Even if I got my head on straight and was able to completely get over my SA today, I think I am a lost cause. What woman would want to go out with a 40 yr old guy that has never kissed a girl or been on a date?
> 
> Lifetimer


I don't know. Maybe they'll think they can teach you how to please them without you having any pre-conceived notions. They should at least hopefully know what they want and like by the time they hit their 40s.

Just think of yourself as a blank slate that a woman can use to fill the way she wants to in a relationship.

Anyways, it's a positive thought.


----------



## RX2000 (Jan 25, 2004)

Have you seen that movie "40-year old Virgen"? 

Hehe


----------



## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

Ramoz said:


> Lifetimer said:
> 
> 
> > Even if I got my head on straight and was able to completely get over my SA today, I think I am a lost cause. What woman would want to go out with a 40 yr old guy that has never kissed a girl or been on a date?
> ...


Yes, that's one way to look at it. However, By the miracle that I'll be able to go out on a date anytime soon, I prefer to go out with a woman that is about 10 years younger than me. This is because of 2 reasons: 1. I look young and act young, and the second reason is - *now, any older ladies here please don't take offense to this but... *2. I don't want the first woman I date or get into a relationship with to be 40+ yrs old (even though I"M 40 yrs old). I want the experience of at least once dating a young woman (that is, if you call early 30's "young". lol). Just about every guy didn't start out dating a 40 year old woman, and that's the way I feel concerning my situation.

I'm sure I'm going to get flamed for saying that, but I want to emphasize I would have no problem dating a 40 year old woman IF I had a normal lifetime of dating. By "normal dating life" I mean dating people my age throughout my life, beginning with my teenage years - if I had dated, that is. I could then say "been there, done that" and I would have no problem with someone my age. Had I not had SA, I believe I would have matured and my mindset would be more focused on women my age. But because of my limited life experiences in reality I am naive, inexperienced in many things, young minded... youthful acting, and I have the appearance of someone 10 years younger as well.

It's not much I can control, it's just the facts.

Lifetimer


----------



## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

RX2000 said:


> Have you seen that movie "40-year old Virgen"?
> 
> Hehe


RX2000,

I had thought about seeing it, but then I figured it would just remind me of my situation and make me depressed. So no, I have not seen it.

Lifetimer


----------



## microbe (Apr 3, 2006)

:agree


----------



## schooley (Mar 25, 2005)

Yeah, same here. 18, never kissed a girl. I'm not that upset about it though. I'm sure it will happen for me eventually, and I'm sure it will happen for you too.


----------



## Mr_Twig (Apr 10, 2006)

RX2000 said:


> Have you seen that movie "40-year old Virgen"?
> 
> Hehe


I saw it-what's ironic is that a huge slice of the population would consider that an exaggeration-as in "no one could possibly be 40 years old and a virgin-that's hilarious!". It had a sweet message, though.

That said, I didn't find much in common with him, as he did end up losing it. That's Hollywood for ya.


----------



## Ramoz (Feb 6, 2006)

Lifetimer said:


> It's not much I can control, it's just the facts.
> 
> Lifetimer


No problem. I can see your point.


----------



## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

Lifetimer said:


> Ramoz said:
> 
> 
> > Lifetimer said:
> ...


I think exactly the same way you do!


----------



## Ashley102877 (Oct 11, 2005)

Im 1 month away from turning 18 and I just recently kissed a guy for the first time.. I wasn’t nervous at all because I can be myself around this guy with out feeling anxious and I knew he had never kissed a girl before either so knowing that in a way made me even more outgoing.

I thought about kissing before now, of course, but it wasn't like I thought it would be, it wasn't as "Special" as I had hoped.

Just make sure its with the right person, don't rush into anything without thinking things through, especially your first kiss, make it special, you don’t want to end up regretting anything.


----------



## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

ColdFury said:


> I think exactly the same way you do!


In what way? Is it that you also wouldn't feel comfortable dating someone your own age?

Lifetimer


----------



## macready (Nov 6, 2005)

the secret to women is low standards, an understanding ear, and lots of alcohol.


----------



## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

Lifetimer said:


> ColdFury said:
> 
> 
> > I think exactly the same way you do!
> ...


No, in the sense that I don't want to have my first date when I'm 40, and that I want to know what its like to date when I'm young


----------



## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

ColdFury said:


> Lifetimer said:
> 
> 
> > ColdFury said:
> ...


Oh, ok. Yes I hope you can avoid the pitfalls I've had. You are in you're 20's and still have time.

Lifetimer


----------



## User (Mar 20, 2004)

JRob said:


> and im in 10th grade. I feel like such a loser, i cant get a girlfriend because im so shy and i never talk, i see all these people with boyfriends and girlfriends and i think to myself (How do they do it?) Im so sad inside =( gr.......


I was exactly the same way when I was in 10th grade (15 years old). Now I'm 18, almost 19, and I still haven't had my first kiss.

It sucks. But I don't think it's _that_ big of an issue for teenagers. I was looking at some statistics for first kisses and for boys the average age is 16 to 18 (14 is the average age for girls). Other stats appear to be lower, but I think anytime 12-20 is O.K.

At least I tell myself that.


----------



## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

User said:


> I was looking at some statistics for first kisses and for boys the average age is 16 to 18 (14 is the average age for girls).


So does that mean there are a lot of 16 to 18 yr old boys out there kissing 14 yr old girls?:con It could bring up legality issues for the 18 yr old guys...

Lifetimer


----------



## VelvetElvis (Apr 29, 2006)

User said:


> JRob said:
> 
> 
> > and im in 10th grade. I feel like such a loser, i cant get a girlfriend because im so shy and i never talk, i see all these people with boyfriends and girlfriends and i think to myself (How do they do it?) Im so sad inside =( gr.......
> ...


Possibly...but I'm turning 21 in a couple of months... while that may seem ridiculously young to some of you, it seems like a long time spent alone to me...but I don't want to sound all whiny and emo-ish. There are some okay things in my life, more than many people. After all, the 40 year old virgin was pretty happy, more or less.


----------



## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

I got my first kiss when I was 13. I was playing soccer with a boy in my neighborhood. We went for the ball, and he pretended to fall on me. When we were on the ground, he kissed me on the lips. The story sounds cute when I tell it now, but at the time it was unpleasant and uncomfortable. I haven't been kissed ever since, and I am almost 23 now. Ten years of nothing.......WOW. Just my luck, when I WANT a kiss these days, I don't get one.


----------



## persephone88 (May 17, 2006)

dear jrob,
you are not a loser. you are just shyer than your peers, so naturally the whole dating thing may be a little harder for you.but chances are, you will become more confident as you grow older and find a girl that you will feel comfortable and happy around. i am a girl who is turning 18 this year, and i have never kissed a guy or been kissed. guys have liked me, but i have always been too shy to get close. just remember that people are different, and everyone has talents and things that are easy for them as well as areas that they must struggle with.and all of the struggles show strength, not failure.
Best of Luck!


----------



## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

whiteclouds said:


> I got my first kiss when I was 13. I was playing soccer with a boy in my neighborhood. We went for the ball, and he pretended to fall on me. When we were on the ground, he kissed me on the lips. The story sounds cute when I tell it now, but at the time it was unpleasant and uncomfortable. I haven't been kissed ever since, and I am almost 23 now. Ten years of nothing.......WOW. Just my luck, when I WANT a kiss these days, I don't get one.


My first (well, _only_) kiss was when I was four. I'm pretty sure that doesn't count. I would like to actually kiss someone before I die. Like that will ever happen! 
I'll be 21 in a little over a month. When I was younger, I just _assumed_ that everyone around this age had already -at the very least- kissed someone. With every year that passes, it becomes even less okay for me to be this way.


----------



## limelight (Feb 8, 2006)

I kissed a guy for the first time a little over one month ago. I'm 17.


----------



## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

Well, I'm 21 you are not alone I havent either kissed or given a kiss to a girl let alone have a girl friend due to my social anxiety. but now that I have defeated some of my social issues it has reaped great desperation in me. Everywhere I go is scary and embarrassing because of 4 years of 80% isolation, staying at home, porn, tv. living with my grandfather etc. If people are resistant to my presence what must I do.?


----------



## deist78 (Nov 12, 2003)

Im 27 have never kissed a girl, dated a girl or obviously had sex with a girl. So there isn't much hope for me now. What girl in their right mind would date someone like me? But the good news is that most of your are still very young and there is plenty of time for all of you. But please don't make the same mistakes I have made or you'll regret it. It's only going to get harder with women as you get older if you don't get any experience.


----------



## vincentgallo4president (May 13, 2006)

deist78 said:


> Im 27 have never kissed a girl, dated a girl or obviously had sex with a girl. So there isn't much hope for me now. What girl in their right mind would date someone like me? But the good news is that most of your are still very young and there is plenty of time for all of you. But please don't make the same mistakes I have made or you'll regret it. It's only going to get harder with women as you get older if you don't get any experience.


You're still young!!


----------



## GaryUranga (Apr 22, 2006)

yeah, think of all the other SA sufferer girls 

Ive been kissed before for liek 2 secs but its nevere been like seriously kissed a girl either


----------



## long_way_home (May 10, 2006)

I'm 21 and I had only kissed 2 guys before...one when I was 15 and one when I was 18. A few days ago I went on a date and made out with a guy for about 2 hours on and off...
your time will come, even if it does take a while, but don't give up hope and remember there are others who are in the same position as you.


----------



## IntrovertGirl (Apr 17, 2006)

.


----------



## Fallout (May 26, 2006)

JRob said:


> and im in 10th grade. I feel like such a loser, i cant get a girlfriend because im so shy and i never talk, i see all these people with boyfriends and girlfriends and i think to myself (How do they do it?) Im so sad inside =( gr.......


Ok next time you have to pick a partner in any class or have any interaction at all, try being partners with a girl. Any one it does not matter if you like them or not. 
Then what you do Is you keep talking to this girl find a common interest and try to become her friend. Then once you do that you can start meeting more of her friends, thats where you look for a girl to have something with.


----------



## Jimi_Hendrix17 (Apr 14, 2006)

I'll be 22 soon, and have never kissed a girl either. The most for me was a hug from a friend (I can count the # on my hand). I never had a girlfriend yet.


----------



## peace81 (Apr 23, 2004)

ha, you're only in 10th grade, say that when you're over 20...


----------



## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

JRob said:


> and im in 10th grade.


I didn't kiss anyone till about a month before college graduation. That night contained a number of other firsts.


----------



## Meta Ridley (Jun 2, 2005)

I'm 19 and still haven't yet its one of the big things thats actually making me nervous about asking someone out since I'm worried about messing up really bad.


----------



## jtb3485 (Nov 9, 2003)

I'm 25 and have never kissed a girl either....

ok that's a bit of a lie...sort of. But I've never "really" kissed a girl if you know what I mean. When I was about 10 I kissed this girl who lived down the street from me who I had known since I was 5. It was just a quick peck on the lips and then we both were like Ew gross! and raced each other to the bathroom to wash our faces :lol

so other than that little incident I've never kissed a girl


----------



## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

ace_of_diamonds said:


> I'm 25 and have never kissed a girl either....
> 
> ok that's a bit of a lie...sort of. But I've never "really" kissed a girl if you know what I mean. When I was about 10 I kissed this girl who lived down the street from me who I had known since I was 5. It was just a quick peck on the lips and then we both were like Ew gross! and raced each other to the bathroom to wash our faces :lol
> 
> so other than that little incident I've never kissed a girl


Similar to me. Once a girl kissed me on the cheek in fourth grade. Most "action" I've ever had :lol


----------



## x rossy x (Jun 8, 2006)

i know exactly how ya feel


----------



## pittstonjoma (Nov 10, 2003)

Almost 22, never been kissed :afr


----------



## GaryUranga (Apr 22, 2006)

me neither, I'll kiss you *kisses glass*


----------



## LoneWolf667 (Jun 17, 2006)

I'm 19 and i've never kissed a girl.

I had a hot girl give me a hug at high school graduation. A year before that at work i slapped a girl's a*s (she told me to)


----------



## GaryUranga (Apr 22, 2006)

I did that too, my friend asked me "can I see your watch?" and he grabbed my arm the push it onto a girl's butt it was liek *boink* then she looked back at me and I didnt know what to do


----------



## kimi1889 (May 11, 2005)

AWWW ok im in 11th grade (well, will be 12th next year, this year's pretty much over) and I'm a girl, and TRUST me, you're normal. I know it seems like everybody's with somebody, but they're not. I never kissed anybody until december of this year, and the guy i kissed was a senior and hadn't kissed anybody either. But trust me, I know how you feel. I've always been extremely shy and I'm suprised my first kiss happened as soon as it did. What worked for me is just to become friends w/ a girl you like first, then eventually you may kiss her. Don't be sad! I'm sure you'll meet someone who likes you, give it time (yea i know, probably not what you wanna hear, right?). BUT if it helps you, if you're a nice guy, just try talking a little bit more to girls. I don't even mean like going over and starting up a conversation (unless you want to, that'd be great, but these are small steps), but just saying "hi!" to some girl you kinda know will make them think of you, and smile at them every time you see them (I mean if you like them). Maybe then they'll see your potential, like you, and kiss you after a few months! I hope things work out for ya!!


----------



## salty (Mar 21, 2006)

i'm 21 and just had my first kiss maybe a couple weeks ago, and the circumstances were pretty different from what's been recommended above me. however i have tried that method before many times and can say with certainty that _for me_ the furthest the friends approach can take me is, not surprisingly, to the friendzone. i wish i knew what worked, but unfortunately all i know is that starting out trying to make friends does not work at all for me.


----------



## mizzimad (Jun 12, 2006)

Aside from a peck or two in elementary school--I was quite the stud back then, yanno :lol --I didn't get to kiss a girl until I was about 24; and, well, she didn't give a hoot in hell about me anyway. Perhaps she didn't get the memo from my elementary school. :haha 

Overall, though, school was social murder for me. I remember constantly thinking to myself that I would forever be an ugly-*** loser who would never, ever kiss a pretty girl--or, hell, any girl for that matter. Now I'm 37, divorced, and in a great relationship. Yes, the same kid who couldn't string together a coherent sentence in grade school actually got to kiss not one, not two, but THREE girls...well, uh, women, actually. And hey, two of them qualify as ladies--gotta love those stats. ("'Cause two out of three ain't...." Eh, nvm. :b ) 

But yeah, I can relate. When you're a teen who's seeing all the boy/girl stuff happening around you at school, you begin to wonder if things will ever be different. I'm nearly 40, and I've just now begun a relationship in which I can see a real future. It's a feeling I've never had before, and I feel almost like--dare I say?--a teenager. Dammit, I want my prom! :haha

Seriously, though, I know this is probably more easily said than done; but try if you can to see past the short-term goal of finding a girl to kiss just so that you'll "fit in." I don't know about you, but I've always wanted more than that; eventually, I got it. High school is all about appearances anyway: the popular kids who look as if they have their $#!+ together rarely do. Don't give up; love is trial and error for most of us.


----------

