# I hate how I act at work



## lagrenuda (May 30, 2014)

sometimes I feel like I should take the short way out of my social anxiety and take medication but I know that'll just temporarily relieve my social discomfort

At work I am definitely treated differently than others (not in a bad way) but people don't talk to me or approach me because they are used to me being silent... when I actually get a chance to converse with someone I end up slurring my words or can't find the right words to say. Being at work upsets me because I know I put myself in an awkward situations everyday simply because I don't reply back to my coworker nor do I show any interest in getting to know them.
I really want to learn how to socialize with people again. 
I want to practice how to converse everyday but how exactly does a 19 year old go about doing that in a new city without my boyfriend or friends around..


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## KSlice (Jun 17, 2014)

Your title to this post is exactly how I've been feeling lately. When I first started at my job I felt kind of weird around everyone since they were all close and I was the new girl, but soon they took interest in learning about me. They would ask me questions about myself and joke around with me but lately things have been frustrating. When they joke around I try to joke too but it typically comes across as weird and not funny. People have also been making comments about how I seem depressing or whatever, some coworker sarcastically told me that I was so full of life. I'm trying to act happy and fun at work but everyone seems like they're tired of me now. I'm also very shy so it's hard for me to act myself or feel comfortable around them. Really just wish I could quit and find a new job but that's too stressful to do and I need the money :/


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## lagrenuda (May 30, 2014)

^yes exactly, when I started my job 3 weeks ago my coworkers took an interest in me too and try to talk to me by making jokes but when I couldn't joke back with them (among with other things I have said) they change their attitude towards me they don't say hi or anything to me anymore. 

yesterday one of the assistance mangers pulled me to the side and said "Listen, when I said you need to be vocal more I meant you need to talk to everyone else... you need to be open with everyone, if you talked more we can joke around with you too" *she said this because my coworkers were having a conversation behind me and I wasn't apart of it*
I simply said "ok" and that's it. I don't know how to talk to people because I missed out on socializing with anyone during my last 2 years of high school
and also I was never really around my anyone at home
so I was used to being isolated at home and at school
i was like that for 2 years
this year I'm actually trying to overcome my SA and depression by going to a support group and trying to open up to my family members more


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## AndreaXo (Mar 22, 2014)

KSlice said:


> Your title to this post is exactly how I've been feeling lately. When I first started at my job I felt kind of weird around everyone since they were all close and I was the new girl, but soon they took interest in learning about me. They would ask me questions about myself and joke around with me but lately things have been frustrating. When they joke around I try to joke too but it typically comes across as weird and not funny. People have also been making comments about how I seem depressing or whatever, some coworker sarcastically told me that I was so full of life. I'm trying to act happy and fun at work but everyone seems like they're tired of me now. I'm also very shy so it's hard for me to act myself or feel comfortable around them. Really just wish I could quit and find a new job but that's too stressful to do and I need the money :/


Story of my life, sister


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## steven1234 (Jun 20, 2014)

For months now,I have been stuck working with the most unpleasant, hateful individual on the planet. She would ignore me, purposely try and make me look bad, sabotaged me and talked about me behind my back to other co-workers. I kept thinking " what is wrong with ME that I need to change to make it stop? In her last attempt to sabotage me, it finally backfired on her and I found out why she was doing all these things. She called up the Manager to the office to complain that I had misplaced an important document. After the manager starting looking around, he found it on her desk! In a lame attempt to defend herself, she started saying how because I was good looking.....LA LA La..Well She was jealous!!! Now, the manager knows and I know why she is such an ***. She is still unpleasant, but now this is her problem. Cow!!


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## QuitSweatinMe (Aug 24, 2013)

I hate being anti-social. I'm not interested in the things my co-workers talk about, but I get sad when I'm left out of the conversation or event planning. When I get a chance to talk to individuals, we hit it off good but the conversation dies quickly and I seem boring or maybe weird. And some of the s*** that they say about each other makes me wonder what they say about me because on the surface, they seem to get along so well with the person they're talking smack about. This raises my anxiety and self-doubt even more, and then I end up alone


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## jesse93 (Jun 10, 2012)

I know your pain I've been at my current job for 3 months now, and I'm still the socially awkward loser that no one really cares to talk to anymore, they tried to get to know me, but they realized pretty quickly it wasn't going anywhere. So now they just like to whisper behind my back about how quiet I am. There's one or 2 coworkers who I actually talk to sometimes, but other than that the other 13 coworkers I'm around just leave me alone, don't even bother saying hi to me.


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## Jayne311 (Aug 20, 2009)

Me too. I'm so awkward and uncomfortable, and I can tell it makes everyone else uncomfortable. Then I feel bad for that.

I can't do my work well because I'm afraid to ask questions and come across as an idiot. I also can't seem to mesh with the office dynamics. Sometimes everyone will be super serious and busy, and then at other times they'll randomly start talking about some TV show or celebrity, and I'm thinking, aren't we supposed to be working? If I had known it was okay to be this casual, I would have been. But I can't think of a worse feeling than being casual when I'm not supposed to be, so I'm just always the serious one. And it always seems like everyone else is in the same place with how they're thinking. They're either all serious or all joking around. I can't seem to figure it out.


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## Boomaloom (May 28, 2014)

A lot of your posts bring back my last job to me. I always wanted to fit in but always found the everyday office banter / gossip to be hugely tedious. After a short while people cotton on that you are "off" since you don't really join in and then you are left to your own devices.

Interesting thing is, I never had this problem at college, even though I had plenty of SA symptoms back then. I could go to the canteen with certain people from class and have a laugh. I think the reason for this is, in college I could surround myself with like minded people, and we were all invested in what we were doing. There was constant debates about course work, tests, projects etc and when we were chilling out, some talk about sport and gaming. So I could function in that environment.
But in my low paid factory job, I was surrounded by people I had nothing in common with. I resented the job, had no interest in talking about processes or anything work related, the only thing I got animated about was vacation time. Plus I found my co-workers just spend most of their time talking shít, gossiping, and of course the endless "what I did last weekend / what Im doing next weekend" So I just became someone who clocked in and out without talking to a soul unless I had to. I was definitely one of the oddest people ever employed there!


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## Nekhbet (May 21, 2014)

Jayne311 said:


> Me too. I'm so awkward and uncomfortable, and I can tell it makes everyone else uncomfortable. Then I feel bad for that.
> 
> I can't do my work well because I'm afraid to ask questions and come across as an idiot. I also can't seem to mesh with the office dynamics. Sometimes everyone will be super serious and busy, and then at other times they'll randomly start talking about some TV show or celebrity, and I'm thinking, aren't we supposed to be working? If I had known it was okay to be this casual, I would have been. But I can't think of a worse feeling than being casual when I'm not supposed to be, so I'm just always the serious one. And it always seems like everyone else is in the same place with how they're thinking. They're either all serious or all joking around. I can't seem to figure it out.


This. It's like people have some sort of inner switch I don't have. Although I'm getting better at it... but it still puzzles me.


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## Just Here (Jul 16, 2013)

I work hard at stay out of other people business. In the past I been burn by relationship I had with people at work. I like to keep my private life and work life separate. It has lead to a lot less problems. Don't get me wrong I would talk with them when they ask me stuff but I keep to myself about my personal life. Sorry no help here.


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