# Choosing therapist



## shy_chick (Sep 27, 2006)

How do you choose a therapist? I've had quite a few but looking for one that does schema therapy or more psychoanalysis as think my problems are more deeply engrained. I met a lady today and it was an information session, and hard to tell what she would be like as a therapist. She has the right experience and is the right price, and nice but hard to tell anything without trying therapy as she did no screening, just a chat (free). I've had some therapists who are nice, and suggest changes, but it doesn't cut very deep and you could go for ages without getting anywhere, I'm wondering if she is like this or if I would need to try a few sessions.

There is another schema therapist who is twice the price and further away but sounded good by email e.g. quite intellectual answers and gives evidence in court. 

There is a 3rd schema therapist who I have seen in more of a confidence building capacity rather than therapy. Her suggestions were more pure CBT e.g. she would go to social situations with me and give advice, but I want deeper therapy.

Help?!


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

I'm not sure about the best way to search in the UK, but it sounds like you're doing an okay job so far by finding those options. 

Would you be able to afford the second one? 

You'll probably ultimately just have to try one of them out. You seem to be doing pretty well at finding the schema therapists, so it might just take "diving in" and explaining what you hope to gain from them.


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

The link that Yeah-Ross oke posted has a phone and email to get a schema therapist in your area. I've called it before, left a msg and they called me back. I do realize you are in the UK so the email obviously would be simpler. 
Was it this? WWW.Schematherapy.com


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

This? http://www.schematherapy.com/id33.htm


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Muhahahahaaaaaaaa my cult is building

Muhahaha **stirs the Gatorade**


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

LOL, I knew you were watching me, AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

When the spaceship comes, just take a sip.

And leave your wallet by the door


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

LOL, GOOD ONE ROSS!! You are a gem, shining brightly above all the unseen "diamonds in the rough" my board friend. I really do hope to talk f2f w/u someday.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

I must plan my tour of SAS America 
I think I will get lynched


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

nO WaY. I'm comin over there!


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

:afr I will alert immigration

Dude

Are you on the Coors again? I am sensing man-love


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

I wonder if I could tell what Ross is saying in person. I'm assuming he has a Scottish accent. I've seen some Scottish movies that I've had to watch with the subtitles on! Then again, I've seen plenty of others that I had zero issues whatsoever comprehending.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

I am actually on holiday so am not here. This is my automatic answering machine

I have an english accent, but I live in Scotland.

So I talk a little posh. Imagine the queen after a few beers and thats me


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## shy_chick (Sep 27, 2006)

yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> Imagine the queen after a few beers and thats me


That is just frightening. :lol 
Anyhow, I'm waiting to see how my 2 job interviews go this week as not having a permament job is having a big effect on my mood. I am weighing up just trying the cheaper therapist at the moment.
The expensive one probably is too expensive, and the other I got the impression she is more interested in more standard CBT but I've emailed her again just in case.

I contacted the US schema people and they sent me a list of 6 people from the UK (as did not specify an area), but none of them are anywhere near me. It sounded like they only knew of 6 people. I emailed back, but they seem very slow by email. There were 3 in Scotland, one in Cardiff, one in Twickenham and one in West Bromwich. I can PM a list if anyone is interested-not sure if I am allowed to just post their details here? :stu


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Please PM me the details, just in case mine is a flop  She might even be one of the three ...

Thank you, you rock!!

I am in Scottieland


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Scotties...

One of my high school's rivals went by the "Scotties." It was named after the Scottish Terrier though. Who would use that dog as the image of intimidation?

Sorry, off topic.

Surely there are more than 6 schema therapists in the whole of the UK. Strange.


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## shy_chick (Sep 27, 2006)

See below:

Since you did not specify
where in the U.K. you are located, I included all of the therapists we have
listed in that area: 
[list of 6]

If the above referral does not work out, another option to consider is
contacting cognitive therapists in your area. Some cognitive therapists have
received training in schema therapy, although we do not know which cognitive
therapists have received this training. We advise that you ask the therapist
about his or her experience with schema therapy. We recommend that you check
the following websites for names of experienced cognitive therapists in your
area:

For the Academy of Cognitive Therapy, go to http://www.academyofct.org and
click on "Find a Certified Cognitive Therapist"

For the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies, go to
http://www.aabt.org/members/Directory/F ... rapist.cfm


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## shy_chick (Sep 27, 2006)

I'm now really confused and it feels like a bit of a mess. My options are

1)stick with CBT/schema lady £35 I now have an appointment next week
2)see different CBT/schema lady for £40 (reduced from £70) who I've seen before for interview stuff. The things is I feel we've not got onto the things I want to do. I've had to push about 3 times to get much back about her doing schema and she says now she would want a full assessment. In some ways she seems perfect and has given good advice but in another feel we've not tackled the things I want to and when she suggests I will have to work hard and tackle CBT things something in me freaks out, and it feels hopeless, I get upset and feel like I could never do it. That would probably apply to CBT lady 1 too I suppose...
3)get on a 2-6 month waiting list for psychodynamic therapy as suggested by CBT lady 2 which is subsidised so only £15 on my income. They do group sessions as well. I might need a GP referral, I'll email to check.

There is the medication/GP issue too..
I've come off Effexor as hate being on antidepressants and now of course I feel I have all my problems again unsolved and I'm sleeping worse, waking up even earlier than before. I'm moody and tearful and getting some strong negative opinions about things that I can't shake off, and generally being very apathetic. It's silly but I feel if I'm on drugs and blase about my problems I'm not as bothered about doing anything to solve them.
I feel like my GP(s) never really did anything helpful and when I was assessed within the NHS (free) it took about 18 months to be screened in CBT, then they referred to psychotherapy as thought there might be more to it, who then said I was on the autism spectrum. I don't know if I am as didn't get assessed and my GP wasn't sure that would help my depression/anxiety necessarily. I just found my own therapists first free, then private. Now confused and a bit reluctant to go back to my GP who ironically might be the one to make sense of it. I think they'll tell me to take antidepressants.
I could find a new GP as my current one is through a university. I handed in last September but have had my PhD viva in January and corrections and still don't have an official bit of paper to say it's all over yet. They will continue as my GP in the short term.

In my own head I would say stay off meds and go for psychotherapy if I could, but that's partly that CBT exposure scares me to death.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

I've never been on medication, but I also have had reservations about that for similar reasons (losing motivation to figure out my problems while on them).

Is CBT categorically scary, or is it that you're concerned they'll push you really hard? You should only have to do things that are mildly difficult and build up, but if you have super aggressive therapists wanting you to do x, y, and z all at once, I can see how that would be extra terrifying.


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## shy_chick (Sep 27, 2006)

When my previous CBT therapist and no. 2 here mention exposure they say how you've got to really work at it and it freaks me out, that I might fail and not be able to do it, or not be motivated as much as they want. If I think of some situations, I don't see how I could make that step as it seems too big a step. 
I'll probably start with CBT with the appointment I've booked and see how it goes from there.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

shy_chick said:


> When my previous CBT therapist and no. 2 here mention exposure they say how you've got to really work at it and it freaks me out, that I might fail and not be able to do it, or not be motivated as much as they want. If I think of some situations, I don't see how I could make that step as it seems too big a step.
> I'll probably start with CBT with the appointment I've booked and see how it goes from there.


I think sometimes other people get all excited and want you to do a bunch of things, when in reality they often need to settle down and ease off the gas pedal. You should only go at a pace that is reasonable to you.

I have to watch for this myself, but you don't have to try to impress the therapist.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

shy_chick said:


> When my previous CBT therapist and no. 2 here mention exposure they say how you've got to really work at it and it freaks me out, that I might fail and not be able to do it, or not be motivated as much as they want. If I think of some situations, I don't see how I could make that step as it seems too big a step.
> I'll probably start with CBT with the appointment I've booked and see how it goes from there.


Hi Shy

It rather sounds like your therapist is not entirely listening to you. Empathy is hugely important in a therapy relationship, and your 'panic' sensation may be that you feel she is pushing you into exposure without giving enough attention to your fears.

CBT uses behavioural experiments which should be worked thoroughly in a cognitive, and then possibly a visualisation approach. An anxiety ladder should be made in which you list the anxiety provoking events from easiest to hardest. You start in the very easiest one, and then work along. At each step you should do cogniitive and behavioural rehearsal work. You should learn attentional training (If you havent then you have missed one of the most important developments of CBT for SA in the last decade. I have a post on the method in Therapy). So as you can see - she should not be making you do 'exposure' - eg "just go out and talk to people". That is PURE BEHAVIOURAL THERAPY which does not work for SA. COGNITIVE BEHAVIOURAL is obviously a combination of the two, and thats because they are both needed.

If your therapist is not working these elements then she she needs a sharp wake up call. It would alos be useful for you to tell her that you feel that you are not being heard.

I would still recommend the schema approach, but with a very experienced therapist. I am seeing one now and she is totally different to anyone I have had before. Someone who has 'done a bit' is actually liable to make you worse - a bit like my first one did.


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