# first day of a new job and coworkers have already destroyed me



## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

I’ve already been told to be more outgoing. I am literally trying my hardest. I greet every customer that walks in even though I hate it. I ask every person I ring up how their day was even though they all say good, and it’s a waste of time. I say thankyou. I put on a fake smile. But it isn’t freaking enough. My trainer wanted me to have a freaking conversation with every customer. I can’t do it. I’m socially awkward and don’t know what to say. This ho keeps mentioning how I look “dazed.” What the **** does that even mean? Cmon bro **** off. You have cellulite; you can’t talk to me like that! I’m doing good for a social retard and it’s my first damn day ****.

The two people who I was shadowing/being trained by both noted how easy the job was as I’m struggling. Man… way to make me feel like ****, ****er. This is so dumb. Why must everyone go out of their way to make me feel like crap even though I’m pushing myself to the limits?

Oh you know what’s also great? All my coworkers are best friends. They don’t stop blabbering about their freaking boyfriends. And the dudes talk about cars the entire shift! And when it's me and 1 person together they try to force a godam conversation down my throat. They ask me what I do and I just say nothing. I'm not gonna tell them all I do is watch porn and play wow. F that. They won't take nothing as an answer though and keep drilling me. OMFG


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## Perkins (Dec 14, 2010)

Yeah, that's rough. Like you, I always thought just saying "please" "thank you" and "have a nice day" was enough and went a long way. You're already doing more than enough there. What more could your trainer ask for? Be the customers' best friend? The standards they have are always ridiculous. From my experience from ringing up customers, they really just want to pay for their sh*t and go anyway. They aren't there to chat, and why would they? They just want to get on with their day. Your trainers sound like *******s who obviously fail to realize the concept of social anxiety and how it affects us. They also don't sound like good trainers either. Chatting with customers is a waste of time, as you said. I myself can't stand when co-workers would try and tell me to smile more and be condescending and tell me it's "easy" and how I really shouldn't be struggling.


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## fonz (Oct 15, 2008)

Maybe you could ask for some other type of job in the store?


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Honestly, from what you write here, I would just call a group meeting and tell them all to go f*** themselves.

Oh, it was your very first day. Well, it could get better. Some of them may be overachievers. _"Have a conversation with every customer..."_ ---> How about, _"Pull your head out of your a** and leave me to do my job in peace..."_

You may need to find your own way. If you take any heat from management, point out the 'customer experience' -- if the customer is satisfied with your work, that will go a long way towards offsetting any issues your coworkers might have.


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## ilsr (Aug 29, 2010)

OP, it almost sounds like you're making it out to be funny in the way you've described it. But I hear what you mean. It sounds like a nightmare first day at the job. 

If I was in that situation , I sure wouldn't mention I desperately peruse and lurk new threads on SAS for something to do either.


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## skys (Mar 14, 2014)

Most of the employees in customer service I've come across do just half of the things you say you did. A lot don't even bother to ask how customers are doing or smile. So I would say you were doing a good job, management just seems pretty demanding.


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## Darkness Evanescent (Jul 30, 2014)

skys said:


> Most of the employees in customer service I've come across do just half of the things you say you did. A lot don't even bother to ask how customers are doing or smile. So I would say you were doing a good job, management just seems pretty demanding.


Exactly. I've been in stores where the cashier doesn't so much as look at me, let alone say anything, and I don't understand why the bare minimum of a "how are you doing" or whatever isn't good enough. It's stupid if they want much more than that.


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## iCod (Feb 17, 2015)

Retail jobs are the definition of torture.


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## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

Just Lurking said:


> Honestly, from what you write here, I would just call a group meeting and tell them all to go f*** themselves.


lol

OP I worked all kinds of customer service jobs in my teens, it's just not our kind of work, there's a lot more out there you can do that you would be better suited for.


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## DistraughtOwl (Mar 1, 2014)

It's as if doing your job isn't enough. Not everyone has these kind of social skills to just bring up random conversations with people and small talk. And as you said it's a waste of time. I couldn't handle that **** if they kept pestering me. I'd probably say **** off and get a different job.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Imbored21 said:


> You have cellulite; you can't talk to me like that!


And yet, the SAS community joins you in supporting your frustration towards other people.


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## Hikikomori2014 (Sep 8, 2014)

Hmmm...you work at an Apple Store, don't you


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

What do you have to do besides greeting customers? Do you have to work at the register too? You didn't give enough info about your job. I'm also not into cars or sports, but luckily I have met plenty of guys who are interested in cooking and hiking. Maybe join a club to try to get yourself to start liking something else or doing activities.


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## Meme84 (Jul 22, 2013)

lol this poll is hilarious.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

skys said:


> Most of the employees in customer service I've come across do just half of the things you say you did. A lot don't even bother to ask how customers are doing or smile. So I would say you were doing a good job, management just seems pretty demanding.


That's because they're normal. When you're awkward, people will observe and dissect everything you do and enjoy picking in you.

I'm the most productive worker on my shift and despite this, they tear me a new one every time I step on a crack, while all the lazy idiots that are always messing things up go unnoticed.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Imbored21 said:


> I've already been told to be more outgoing. I am literally trying my hardest. I greet every customer that walks in even though I hate it. I ask every person I ring up how their day was even though they all say good, and it's a waste of time. I say thankyou. I put on a fake smile. But it isn't freaking enough. My trainer wanted me to have a freaking conversation with every customer. I can't do it. I'm socially awkward and don't know what to say. This ho keeps mentioning how I look "dazed." What the **** does that even mean? Cmon bro **** off. You have cellulite; you can't talk to me like that! I'm doing good for a social retard and it's my first damn day ****.
> 
> The two people who I was shadowing/being trained by both noted how easy the job was as I'm struggling. Man&#8230; way to make me feel like ****, ****er. This is so dumb. Why must everyone go out of their way to make me feel like crap even though I'm pushing myself to the limits?
> 
> Oh you know what's also great? All my coworkers are best friends. They don't stop blabbering about their freaking boyfriends. And the dudes talk about cars the entire shift! And when it's me and 1 person together they try to force a godam conversation down my throat. They ask me what I do and I just say nothing. I'm not gonna tell them all I do is watch porn and play wow. F that. They won't take nothing as an answer though and keep drilling me. OMFG


I think there is a lot of thinking on your part.
Are you sure you aren't thinking for them?

I remember when I started working after two years of unemployment and SA was sky high and barely diagnosed. The dazed look? Preoccupation. That's all they see. The rest in is your head. Those people have nothing better to talk about than their boyfriends or cars? Boy, the things you learn here would get you a leg up on the competition with all the latest news events and the like.

They are probably attached to their phones. :roll


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

i remember the orientation thread, sounds like a lot of hot chicks, you living in the dream bro


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

monotonous said:


> i remember the orientation thread, sounds like a lot of hot chicks, you living in the dream bro


Orientation was people from a bunch of different stores. There is only 1 hot 7/10 girl at my store. She is married and just got pregnant. i have no hope with females. I'm a loser.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Farideh said:


> What do you have to do besides greeting customers? Do you have to work at the register too? You didn't give enough info about your job. I'm also not into cars or sports, but luckily I have met plenty of guys who are interested in cooking and hiking. Maybe join a club to try to get yourself to start liking something else or doing activities.


Cashier is what my job title is. Ofcourse they make me do a million other thigns too even tho it wasn't on my job description.


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## LaSmalllFry (May 1, 2015)

I know at some jobs, the workers that have more experience like to pick on the newbies because they too have been in your position. I'm unclear though as to if you wish to befriend you co-workers or if you just want to coexist with them.

Good job in speaking to the customers though! It may seem stupid but the more you do it, the more you may end up getting comfortable asking others how they are doing, even if you don't really mean it. It is a conversation starter. Sooner or later, you may be able to get content with having a mini conversation with someone you may not know and it may be less awkward.


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## Mattsy94 (Feb 11, 2013)

See this is why I don't want a job. Too much pressure and stress. And yet my dad won't stop pestering me about getting one. He doesn't understand how I'd have to deal with this kinda **** every day, just because he's a normie who can actually talk to people.


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## 19nea87 (Apr 14, 2012)

That sounds awful. I remember being told by one of my superiors at my first job "You need to talk more." How frustrating for someone with social anxiety to have your biggest weakness pointed out. My recommendation would be to ask them or your coworkers for suggestions on what they want you to talk about with customers. The weather is always an easy one? Idk though, that sucks! GL.


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

OP, I am glad you are doing something. It goes without saying that it is going to be hard at first, but if you persist and do all you can, things should gradually improve and you will feel better. Keep your chin up. I believe in you!


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## hulkamaniak (Mar 21, 2008)

My last job the co workers were semi mean to me on the first day. Just kept getting worse to the point where I was the butt of all jokes every day, basically picked on all the time, called stupid and daft, looked down on by everyone, didn't help that I do suck and come off as daft and retarded at jobs and **** up all the time due to anxiety.


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## HenDoggy (Jul 26, 2014)

Perkins said:


> Yeah, that's rough. Like you, I always thought just saying "please" "thank you" and "have a nice day" was enough and went a long way. You're already doing more than enough there. What more could your trainer ask for? Be the customers' best friend? The standards they have are always ridiculous. From my experience from ringing up customers, they really just want to pay for their sh*t and go anyway. They aren't there to chat, and why would they? They just want to get on with their day. Your trainers sound like *******s who obviously fail to realize the concept of social anxiety and how it affects us. They also don't sound like good trainers either. Chatting with customers is a waste of time, as you said. I myself can't stand when co-workers would try and tell me to smile more and be condescending and tell me it's "easy" and how I really shouldn't be struggling.


agreed. It is ****ed up that the superiors expect you to do the small talk,push services/credit card application etc. to every customer. If even normal people get tired of this can they expect how we would handle it?

Although I can't blame the co-workers. from there perspective, it's easy to converse with coworkers/customers and they don't know op has SA(or even aware what that is) so they are just trying to get to know him more by asking about his interest/hobbies.



hulkamaniak said:


> My last job the co workers were semi mean to me on the first day. Just kept getting worse to the point where I was the butt of all jokes every day, basically picked on all the time, called stupid and daft, looked down on by everyone, didn't help that I do suck and come off as daft and retarded at jobs and **** up all the time due to anxiety.


that's horrible man, i'm sorry you had to go through that.


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## wmu'14 (Sep 17, 2010)

I worked at a scrapyard where they wanted workers to be best friends with all the customers too. It was a fast-paced and toughjob where you didn't really have time to be best friends either. "We are a family here."

I didn't last more then a couple months and they let me go.


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