# Getting Drunk and embarassing yourself



## Always been shy (Sep 28, 2009)

As someone with SA I have used alcohol as my tool to loosen up in social occasions. I don't it anymore - in fact I don't drink at all anymore because I take AD. But I remember of times when I would get totally drunk just so that I could loosen up and talk to people. Looking back at those days I remember how much embarrassment I have caused to myself. I would try to talk to girls in parties in totally inebriated condition and some other "confident but not drunk" guy would push me away and start talking to the girls himself. haha. There is no second chance here. People who don't know me well but have seen me drunk have such a distorted image of me. I have left those associations and moved onto more constructive and active way of living. I wish I had reached for help earlier. I would have never given the false impression people got from me.


----------



## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

Does their opinion of you really have any effect on your life, besides what you allow it? We've all done embarrassing things, drunk or sober, it doesn't matter. The past is the past. The people who really count know what kind of person you truly are, that's the important thing.


----------



## crazyg (Jun 18, 2005)

I bet alot of the people who you embarrassed yourself in front of wouldn't even remember some of those occasions. And even if they do, it's not going to be foremost in their thoughts. Many people in their early 20s got drunk and did embarrassing things, myself included. I'm not saying it's a good idea but it happened and I doubt most people would think that your drunk, embarrassing self is all there is to you. 

Plus, it sounds like you've moved past that. So, I'd be proud of yourself for moving beyond that point and realizing you needed help. Don't beat yourself up over it. I think it's mostly the social anxiety talking. I often think of things I've said or done in the past and then go over the situation and feel really embarrassed about it- even if the situation had happened years ago. Meanwhile, I bet many of the people who were there don't even remember it, or even remember it differently from me.


----------



## toffee (Oct 5, 2009)

Whenever i have the chance to drink alcohol, i do, always.. i'm no alcoholic but whenever i am invited to a party i always make sure that i have a bottle of rosé with me, i don't care half as much when i'm totally wasted.. but like you said... the morning after i always feel really low because i do some stupid things. I have met people at parties and they think that i am somewhat loquacious, but when they see me sober i hardly say anything, haha.


----------



## Kelly065 (Aug 25, 2009)

I think a lot of people, even people without SA, use drinking as a crutch for something. And we usually take it too far at times. Been there, done that. Don't dwell on it now though. Its in the past


----------



## Din (Oct 3, 2009)

I will only ever socialise if I have drunk a relatively large amount of alcohol. Most of the time I know my limits and know when to stop but there has been a couple of times where I have gone overboard and got into some quite embaressing situations.

I put it down to experience and try never to get that bad anymore.


----------



## Anna (Sep 24, 2009)

i've embarrassed myself a few times being extremely wasted in front of people i've just met. it's so horrendous to me, not because of the usual sa over-thinking thing, but because i am not that person. so i've made a pact with myself that if i'm not with people who i trust and who already know me, i can only have ONE drink. i don't like being the girl who has to slither to bathroom because she can't feel her legs anymore.


----------



## Indigo Flow (Oct 3, 2009)

i also drink to loosen up, sometimes drinking too much... but the people who have seen me drunk luckily know the real me and don't think any different. There's also been times when i've been the sober one and my friends are drunk


----------



## Zombie Sheep (Oct 3, 2009)

Wow, I *really* know what you mean. I've got legless my whole life just to be able to socialise, and do other stuff. It gets me into so much ****. Stuff like...

Getting drunk so I could talk to my Christian uncle. I get nervous 'cos he's so rich and respectable. Drinking Stella all day. Sat down for tea and I made a complete t!t of myself, I said the F word more times than I can count. This chap is a serious Christian. He wasn't a happy bunny. Thankfully I met him recently and he was fine, but it wasn't good.

Me and my friends borrowing stuff 'for a laugh' - shopping trolleys (wheee!), traffic cones, people's garden gates - whatever wasn't nailed down basically. How we never got done for drunk and disorderly I do *not* know. My god we were stoopid. 

Getting kicked out of my band. When I was more confident, I played guitar with a few friends. We sucked, but it was fun. But I drank to cope with the stage fright. There was a 'battle of the bands' we entered in a club in Ipswich about 2005. I was bricking it. Free drinks. Lots of weed. BAD COMBINATION. I don't remember what happened, thankfully, but there were a lot of people there and I know I made a grade A pillock out of myself. Couldn't hold a chord. Haven't played guitar in front of anybody since. Not even my friends. It's scarred me for life lol!

Blacking out is the worst thing. There was a time way back when I'd go out to pubs and clubs - I was more confident then. The first hour I could always remember. The rest? Nothing. Then I'd wake up to the phone ringing - my mates calling me, telling me all the stupid, embarrasing things I'd said and done. Sometimes they'd video it on their phones. *THE SHAME*.:blush

I've moved on to the evil stuff now - Kestrel Super 9% lager and commercial grade scotch. It's getting stupid. I am now referring myself to a local alchohol centre, after my doc gave me a leaflet. Need a beer so bad. Haven't drunk for 3 days. Stupid binge drinking English people making me drink too much, why can't there be something to do round here that doesn't involve getting hopelessly p***ed!

Rant over.

Drink responsibly!:yes


----------



## Indigo Flow (Oct 3, 2009)

Zombie Sheep said:


> Blacking out is the worst thing. There was a time way back when I'd go out to pubs and clubs - I was more confident then. The first hour I could always remember. The rest? Nothing. Then I'd wake up to the phone ringing - my mates calling me, telling me all the stupid, embarrasing things I'd said and done. Sometimes they'd video it on their phones. *THE SHAME*.:blush
> 
> Drink responsibly!:yes


i have blacked out before, at my friends 18th, it scared me and i didn't have a hangover again, well until last week but 2 years without a hangover is good for me


----------



## Zombie Sheep (Oct 3, 2009)

Indigo Flow said:


> i have blacked out before, at my friends 18th, it scared me and i didn't have a hangover again, well until last week but 2 years without a hangover is good for me


Good to see a wise head on young shoulders. Drinking sensible - not too sensible, mind - will save you a hell of a lot of grief, especially in later years. Sorry if that sounds boring (do as I say, not as I do) but it's worth keeping in mind. :yes


----------



## SummerSweetHeart34 (Jun 26, 2012)

*Embrassing Drunken Moment*



Zombie Sheep said:


> Getting kicked out of my band. When I was more confident, I played guitar with a few friends. We sucked, but it was fun. But I drank to cope with the stage fright. There was a 'battle of the bands' we entered in a club in Ipswich about 2005. I was bricking it. Free drinks. Lots of weed. BAD COMBINATION. I don't remember what happened, thankfully, but there were a lot of people there and I know I made a grade A pillock out of myself. Couldn't hold a chord. Haven't played guitar in front of anybody since. Not even my friends. It's scarred me for life lol!


Oh wow, can I relate! This Friday the most embarrassing thing happened to me. I am very shy and drinking helps..make things worse. Yeah, I can talk to people but it isn't me they are meeting. It's an alter-ego. I am scarred from this night for life. The band I love the best was playing a small gig. When they came on, I went on stage and sang into the microphone, at one point trying to take it from the singer. On stage, in front of every one.

I was blacked out but this is what I was told had happened. That wasn't the worst thing either...After the show, climbed back on and was talking to them, can't remember what I said but I was drunk so it was probably stupid. 5 min after that, I caused a scene at the bar by randomly punching my boyfriend in the face. he then had to drag me by force from the bar. I started crying, saying how I wanted to die and hated my-self, tripping and falling in the middle of the road. The cops pulled us over, thinking he was kidnapping me! Ugh, Im humiliated. I will never live that moment down ever. I can't even listen to the band now, afraid I will reminded of that horrid night. I don't think any thing is more embarrassing than that.

I want people to know me, but no. I go and talk to them when loaded and make this terrible first impression. I know from experience, people will not treat you the same, well some people won't. Others understand. I've done dumb stuff before, but NOTHING compares to embarrassing my-self in front of that band/audience. I am nothing like the drunken version of my-self. Sober, I can't talk to any one. When I try, I feel isolated and rejected. It makes it hard for me to find employment and even harder to fit in the work place. People say fitting in isn't important but they aren't social anxious. Nothing feels more lonely than isolation, it is human to want to find a place and belong. I keep trying though regardless: I won't give up on my fight to be social and not drunk.


----------



## NotTheRealMe (Jan 19, 2013)

SummerSweetHeart34 - thank you for sharing! I embarrassed myself last night and unfortunately I cannot avoid a bar or club as it happened where I am staying!

I'm socially awkward and I am staying with a friend overseas. BUT she also has other friends staying so I'm shy, nervous, panicky....and using red wine to give me confidence. Needless to say I was a complete dick last night and now I'm hiding out in my room searching this forum for anything to make me feel better. 

This day is not going to go well...............


----------



## Jack798 (May 11, 2013)

shadowmask said:


> Does their opinion of you really have any effect on your life, besides what you allow it? We've all done embarrassing things, drunk or sober, it doesn't matter. The past is the past. The people who really count know what kind of person you truly are, that's the important thing.


 this>


----------



## SpyNumber403 (Apr 21, 2013)

I've never gotten drunk with other people before >.<

I'm scared I'll say something embarassing that will mark me for life (or the remainder of my life with relationship to those people)


----------



## miswend (Dec 28, 2013)

I certainly have a history of embarrassing myself while very drunk. The incidents have ranged from telling a colleague she has no sense of humor, waking up with a bite mark on my breast, getting arrested and just generally acting very drunk and out of it. 

A few weeks ago was my work Christmas party. I told myself that I would not get too drunk and try to go home before I made the switch- what I call the point from which I go from fun drunk to out of control drunk- it happens very quickly and is hard to predict because, well, I'm drunk. I just want to say first though, that these episodes have happened over the past 16 or so years (I'm 34 now) and these days, something bad/embarrassing happens once or twice a year and they aren't nearly as bad as the episodes in my early 20's. 

Anyway, the first 3/4th of the Christmas party was fine. I said one thing stupid to someone, which I'm only slightly embarrassed about. I'm an academic and have a touch of imposter syndrome. The last 1/4th of the night was at the pub and I told a senior member of staff how bad I did on a course in my degree and now I feel so horrified and ashamed. The last thing in the pub I remember was buying a bottle of wine for the table of 6 or so people. I don't think I had any but I'm afraid I did and got too drunk because this senior member of staff and I took a cab together in the direction of our houses. 

Writing this, it sounds hardly significant. It sounds just as though I had a bit too much to drink and I acted drunk but didn't do anything inordinately bad. However, for the past three weeks I've been obsessing over and imagining all the terrible things I could have done and said in the periods that I don't remember (I think the total time I don't remember is around 2 hours at the most). 

I've been one vacation since then except for one day and am dreading going back in Jan. I said hello to the senior member of staff and he said hello back and I am obsessing over the way in which he said hello- like I did something embarrassing. I also saw one woman who was there in the hall way briefly and she said hello with this knowing sort of mischievous smile that I interpreted as her acknowledging my embarrassing behavior. I think I may need to go to a therapist because these unwanted thoughts are just plaguing me day in and day out. I've even been dreaming anxiety dreams about it. I can't really afford to see a therapist though. 

How should I act when I go back to work? I'd appreciate any advice. Thank you.


----------



## ineverwipe (Jun 16, 2013)

Yea I've been there too many times. The next morning embarrassment gets me every time. I always felt like I was hyper and too drunk to know I was being obnoxious. That's why I don't drink around anyone now


----------



## freakamidget (Nov 25, 2013)

This is the reason why I can't allow myself to drink. I always do something embarassing and hate myself for the next year.


----------



## Maryam Banoo (Mar 5, 2014)

*i wish i could turn back the time*

im 34, i've done too many stupid things when i got drunk last past year because i've had a serious emotional breakdown and drinking alcohol didn't helped at all and everything got worst. but the sad part is when i tried to date my first boyfriend after 20 years then i screwed up 3 times(( i yelled at him and too many other stupid things now he don't even want to see me or talk to me anymore. I know i don't deserve the second chance but i really liked the guy.
i can't forgive myself anymore i've never done any of these stuff when i was just a teenager and now I'm ruining all my chances (((

I'm sad, i can't focus, i feel blue


----------



## BeachGaBulldog (Feb 13, 2007)

I always thought that drinking would help me with my SA when I was younger, but I found that I just didn't like how I felt. I would either say or do something really stupid, and I just decided to be myself. I have always been a quiet person, and I just learned to accept the fact that I was.


----------



## Perkins (Dec 14, 2010)

Pfft. I don't even need alcohol to make an *** out of myself. At this point I'm a professional at embarrassing myself; no matter how insignificant it may be.


----------



## Lucy Pilage (Mar 9, 2014)

*So feel your pain!*



Maryam Banoo said:


> im 34, i've done too many stupid things when i got drunk last past year because i've had a serious emotional breakdown and drinking alcohol didn't helped at all and everything got worst. but the sad part is when i tried to date my first boyfriend after 20 years then i screwed up 3 times(( i yelled at him and too many other stupid things now he don't even want to see me or talk to me anymore. I know i don't deserve the second chance but i really liked the guy.
> i can't forgive myself anymore i've never done any of these stuff when i was just a teenager and now I'm ruining all my chances (((
> 
> I'm sad, i can't focus, i feel blue


I recently met the first guy in ages that I actually liked and he liked me back! We would text back and forth for a while before finally meeting up. 
Due to my S.A I drank wayyyy too much and blathered on and on....and on.... about the most stupid things! I barely let him get a word in! I made a complete fool of myself. 
After not hearing from him for three days, I went on another drinking binge and started texting him annoyed about being ignored. And on it went, sending him lots of drunken, angry messages, making a fool of myself again! He thinks i am an idiot and told me to stop contacting him.
I am so embarrassed and humiliated! Hate myself for ruining a possibly great relationship. I really liked him too.

I too am sad, can't focus and feel blue.


----------



## Shorty224 (Mar 24, 2014)

I'm exactly the same. Alcohol just makes things... easier. Easier for everyone, so more people are approaching me and talking to me - and because I've been drinking I'm able to deal with social interaction. I always seem to drink too much though. It's almost as if once I'm drunk and socialising I want more - more people, more talking. And next thing I know I wake up the next morning and struggle to piece together what few memories I have from the previous night.

Talking to people sober is... difficult! I panic, get paranoid, sometimes I have to leave conversations to have mini-breaks. I genuinely believe I come across as uptight, unsociable, cold, slightly arrogant, etc.

But drinking is starting to backfire though. One of my pals was talking to some people the other week and they mentioned me. Their exact words were "oh we met her on the bus when she was sober and she was great!! She was really sound!! But then we met her drunk... :no "


----------



## mellowyellow321 (Mar 18, 2014)

I have definitely been there. I think using alcohol as a crutch is something normal within the SA community. We have all done things that we considered embarrassing. 

I think the trick is to learn from these experiences, which is why I choose to drink sparingly in social situations with people I do not know well. Generally, I start to have a lot of anxiety the following day, especially after a drinking binge. Some people with SA can use alcohol as a healthy social lubricant, however, I think for most of us it brings out a side of us we don't want to exhibit. 

Live and learn. The next time you are in a social setting where alcohol is served, remember the past mistakes you made while inebriated. Typically, this allows me to fight off temptation. If the situation may enable you to get drunk, then just order a ginger-ale and play it safe.


----------



## GrainneR (Feb 7, 2014)

And that's why I drink alone.
Well, it's not why exactly. But it's harder to embarrass yourself if no one is around to witness.


----------



## loneliness (Oct 3, 2013)

I used to embarrass myself a lot when drinking in social situations. Nowadays I'm just an embarrassment to myself with my drinking because I drink by myself and have no social situation to embarrass myself in.


----------



## Catarratto (Apr 13, 2014)

I am very shy and rarely go to pubs but when I do get completely drunk and am over friendly to people. I ended up cuddling 2 male friends 1 of which is more of an acquaintance and asked me what I was doing. It was by no means a "trying it on" thing but I think he may have thought it was. I also cuddled his g'friend. My husband was there and isn't bothered in the slightest! Every time I get drunk I analyse and reanalyse and feel ill with worry. So much so I rarely drink much. My husband gets worn with it and says it's ruining what was a good night and that most people there were drunk anyway. When this happens I isolate myself and don't want to enter the place this happened. I am always torn between wanting to keep myself to myself and wanting to be well known. I have been very stressed the past couple of months and think this was my way of having a blow out but now I feel like a complete Pratt that can never face anyone again. I keep thinking I've said something but can't remember because I was so drunk. I think I need intense therapy :/


----------



## c224 (Mar 2, 2014)

I'm really glad I hardly drink at all anymore. The constant cycle of anxiety,drink,black out/embarass myself and then guilt is horrible. I just tend to not put myself in situations where I feel like I need to drink, which of course living in Ireland means I'm social hermit. Still I'm way happier like this


----------



## ishallbereleased (Jun 15, 2014)

*oops*

last night i went to a party. i had planned on staying sober because i had to go home to my parents, but the guy who invited me kept hitting on me and i felt really uncomfortable about being there in general, so i started drinking.. and i didnt stop.
this guy who i never really got over showed up later with his new girlfriend and i made a complete *** of myself. i was crying and screaming and crying and screaming it was so embarrassing. luckily we were outside and away from the rest of the party. so hopefully not many people will remember that that even happened.
i made a complete *** of myself...


----------



## zoslow (Jun 2, 2014)

Fortunately I can't recall ever embarrassing myself though I went heavy on the liquor for a while to cope with my SA. I think it's because I had a high tolerance and also cause I always had a pretty good control while drunk. I'm me but just a little funnier.. little weirder and more emotional but not to any extremes. Sometimes I regret not being able to drink anymore but I know it's only a very brief relief.. then comes the physical and mental side effects that makes it totally not worth it.


----------



## actu (Apr 4, 2014)

Yeah, and alcohol is not the problem, you gotta know the cutoff point. I've seen a lot of people make the mistake of getting drunk to the point of losing their cool, and it's just not necessary. Get drunk enough to relax and still be able to keep your cool. 

The good news is that people don't give a crap and usually forget about it pretty quickly, but still.


----------



## NatalieM (Jun 19, 2014)

I'm so glad I found this thread! I've felt like this for years. Ever since I was a teen I've used alcohol as a way to combat my SA. It was a way to instantly become the life of the party, all anxieties gone and able to march up to anyone and start a conversation! The thing is, my SA has improved, but I still tend to use alcohol in the same way :no I don't actually drink often, and can easily go weeks without anything, but when I do... There's no stopping me. It's awful. I've done so much stupid embarrassing stuff.

My advise for anyone who uses alcohol in this way - do everything you can to NOT get drunk. If that means not drinking at all, I would definitely encourage that. I promise you - the emotional hangover, never mind the physical one, is the worst possible thing for people with SA.


----------



## Jackclasp (Nov 8, 2014)

Really happy I found this thread. Feel like I have had sa for a number of years now. And it intensifies when I'm hungover, I get blackout drunk maybe once or twice a year and do the most
Embarrassing things. And like I've read previously on this thread, the emotional hangover really flattens me.
I feel like people hate me because of my actions and I feel disappointed in myself.
Basically I flirted with a girl and was hitting on her, even though I have a gf.
I had to be told this by her because I can't really remember, but I apologised to everyone including the girl straight away the next day, and they all say don't worry about it I wasn't that bad and stuff. 
The thought of my drunken antics make me depressed, embarrassed. All morals just go out the window when I get so drunk and it upsets me that I act that way.
I just want to know how to make this anxiety I get go away or become
Manageable.
For the record I'm always somewhat anxious, but it intensifies when hungover. Any help or tips on how to deal with this would be greatly appreciated. Or even any stories to cheer me up


----------



## Jackclasp (Nov 8, 2014)

Yeh I know what you mean Bucky.


----------



## SadnessAndDespair (Feb 16, 2016)

c224 said:


> I'm really glad I hardly drink at all anymore. The constant cycle of anxiety,drink,black out/embarass myself and then guilt is horrible. I just tend to not put myself in situations where I feel like I need to drink, which of course living in Ireland means I'm social hermit. Still I'm way happier like this


Pretty much the same story as me. I got really drunk last night at my dorm, acted like a jackass and made an idiot out of myself. Also talked to my crush for the first time, at a party, and made an absolute ****wit out of myself to her. I've completely overcome with regret now, and this "episode" reminds me of why I quit drinking and taking benzos. I hate loosing control of my inhibitions.


----------



## brothersport (Dec 3, 2011)

I understand your past experiences. I sometimes used alcohol to self medicate, and to let go of inhibitions that I had. I have had times of being a easy going, or 'happy' drunk. However I also had my bad moments of revealing too much info (too soon), or just complaining about childhood, and how I ended up with so many disorders in the first place. I now try to really scale back when I do drink, and I try not to use alcohol as a alternative to xanax.


----------

