# How can I stop this unfounded anxiety over my boyfriend?



## emmy12484 (Nov 4, 2008)

I need some help. I want to stop this baseless anxiety I have over every little thing my boyfriend does. First of all, he's great, and has given me no reason to believe that he wants to leave or doesn't love me. But he is a very busy and ambitious person, so we only see each other once or twice a week. That is difficult enough in itself, but it constantly worries me that I am missing him more than he is missing me. I think this way because he doesn't call me unless I ask him to call me back. He doesn't text me back very often either. I know that sounds stupid but I always think in my mind that if he truly cared he would WANT to get in touch with me as much as possible and on his own terms (not because I told him to or he was simply replying). When he talks about texting his friends back and forth, I get jealous because he doesn't do that with me. 

I've also lately worried for his safety. When I don't hear from him for an entire day, I worry that something happened to him. Trying to contact him with no avail doesn't help anything either. To make matters worse, he is flying to Germany next month for three weeks. I don't know how I'll deal with 3 weeks when I get anxious after 2 days! I am terrified that his plane will crash and I'll never know, or that he won't contact me when he gets there and I'll assume the worst has happened. He tries to reassure me that nothing is going to happen but that makes me more worried because I just picture a movie or something where the guy says "nothing will happen to me" and the next thing you know he's crashing into the ocean. 

After spending time together I always feel great about the relationship, but a couple days later I start to worry about all these things in this endless cycle. In other relationships I was never the clingy one, but in this one I seem to be. I think it's just because I finally found someone that I can picture myself with. I don't want my worrying to push him away, though. I have discussed my worries with him numerous times - we both know it's just me being a worrier, but I don't know how to stop. What can I do? Sorry for writing a book.


----------



## rossifranklin (Mar 12, 2008)

You could ask him to call or text you more often.


----------



## KILL__JOY (Jul 30, 2008)

Hmm well I would be pissed if he didnt call or text me back and he talks about texting his friends so much. I wouldnt be able to handle a relationship like that, he should want to call and text you ALL the time even more so since you dont see each other that often. This is obviously causing you alot of stress so I think you should really talk to him about this, I know you said you have but I think you REALLY need to tell him how you feel.
Much love.


----------



## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

You sound alot like me in this way... except that I do have more of a reason to worry because this makes the 3rd time I've dated this guy... and he was always the one to dump me  Hopefully this time will be different...if not I guess I should just give up.


----------



## courtney122 (Nov 19, 2011)

*Know how you feel..*

It sounds like I was the one who wrote this, thats how similar our situations are. It's like you not only want to text him just to talk (because you only see him once a week) but you also want to make sure he's okay.. cause, who knows what can happen! 
My advice to you is this:
Try to find something or someone (a friend) to help fill your time, do something fun to take your mind off of it. If you do this, the time will fly by. The more he doesn't hear from you, the more he'll start thinking: what's she up to? is she okay? And he'll contact you because he WANTS to.
It'll be hard, trust me. But, it'll help you.


----------



## MaxSchreck (Nov 1, 2010)

just ask him about it, if he's cool he will tell you why he's not into texting that much or that it might not even occur to him that much. Having a partner doesn't mean they have to want to text all the time and stuff, it varies from person to person. 
Also tell him to write an email at least twice per week when he's in Germany, just to be sure he's alright, it's important to you


----------



## Glacial (Jun 16, 2010)

"Baseless anxiety" is essentially what SA is, to me at least. So I think we all stuggle with that here.


----------

