# my CBT experiences



## pabs (Jul 21, 2006)

hi everyone,

im new on these forums, so go easy on me  Thought I would share my knowledge of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) as an ice breaker. 
Ive had social anxiety for as long as I can remember (Im 30 now). After telling myslef a zillion times over the course of many years, I finally sought help a few years ago when social phobia claimed my second job. 
I have been attending a CBT group on and off for a couple of years now, but please dont consider me an expert or an authority on it, this is just what I take from it. 
I have been taught that we all have 'core beliefs'. Core beleifs are ones which are embedded inside us and that we never question. Unfortunatly, some of these beliefs are damaging. One of my core beliefs is that if I go into a shop then I will be anxious, will sweat profusely, will loose the power of speech etc etc. CBT has taught me to try and change my thinking to something like: if I go into a shop then I might be anxious, might sweat profusely, might loose the power of speech, but I may not, and even if I do, then it is not the end of the world, rather it is just a part of me and that I should accept it as a part of me.

Sounds easy huh? Course it isn't 

It takes effort and practice, and Im still just a beginner. It took me a while to figure out that it takes effort, but its gradually dawning on me. In my CBT group relaxation excersises are mentioned alot, but again it takes effort to learn them, and a certain amount of faith in yourself. Im starting to put the CBT techniques to work. I don't work at the moment, but I do attend a work focused mental health service five days a week where I get to keep active and mix with other people. In the mornings, I spend some time closing my eyes, controlling my breathing, and saying positive but realistic things to myself, such as 'Its probable that I will be anxious, but not inevitable, and Im gonna have some fun at some point in the day and Im going to achieve something during the day'. Then during the day I will do the same excercise again and take pride in the small steps I am taking. 
I havn't turned into a socialite yet  Im taking it one day at a time. The hardest thing for me is accepting who I am and that my problems are part of that. Unfortunatly I've been quite skillful in hiding my problems over the years, but Im trying to embrace them a little now. 

anyway, I've waffled on far too long :um As I mentioned earlier, just wanted to break the ice a little, now feel anxious that ive said something that might offend someone :con  im off to relax for a bit 

pabs


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## Eclectic (Jan 12, 2006)

hi pabs, thanks for sharing your experience with CBT. I found it helpful to be reminded that you can change your attitude and mood by altering your thoughts and core beliefs like you mentioned.


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## funkypresident (Sep 17, 2005)

Keep up the good work, and feel free to keep posting your progress.


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## vold (Jul 24, 2006)

Hi pabs, and welcome..

please keep us updated with your progress


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## lost in a box (Nov 11, 2003)

i found it very interesting and useful to say how cbt works in a group context.
it's something i might want to try


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## dangat (Jul 11, 2006)

It's interesting to hear about CBT. I'm too afraid to go, and I rationalize that it's too expensive.


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## ScottishSamurai (Jun 29, 2006)

I've got a ton of cash saved from years of not doing anything with my life, so I'm going to spend some of it trying to get a life.

CBT seems to be the eminent treatment for SA which would have the longest-lasting success. Everything else is just digging into one's past it seems. Those who can't identify one chief cause of their anxieties would probably stand to benefit the most from CBT; unlearn their accumulated negative thoughts.


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## Guest (Jul 28, 2006)

What are CBT groups like? Is it just people with SA or are there all types of people trying to get better from something?


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## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

daaaaave said:


> What are CBT groups like? Is it just people with SA or are there all types of people trying to get better from something?


The group I was with all had SA, but not everyone had generalized anxiety. Some just had it in specific scenarios.


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## friendless (Jul 17, 2006)

congratulations for your progress


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## pabs (Jul 21, 2006)

not everyone in my group has SA, there is a broad range of people with varying problems, but its nice to meet others and talk freely about stuff. Like pjam76 says, I found myself in a posiition where I was relatively relaxed talking in the group, but nothing had changed outside of it. But I had at least been able to talk to people about my anxieties and Im now finding it a little easier stating to people matter of factly that I have social phobia. From my experience, CBT has to be viewed like an educational course but where you only get marks for practical  I have recently been making small but steady progress, but I have been trying to get a little fit (bought a rowing machine), eating better (no cakes or chocs  ) and have been trying to stay of my PC (I spend sooooo much time in front of the damn things). 

In response to daaaave (hope I got the right amount of vowels there  -edit- extra e's removed), my group consists of about six people at the mo (weekly attendence varies enourmously, as does the amout of people in the group over the last year). We meet for an hour and a half, some weeks we will concentrate on CBT stuff (relaxation, core beleifs, excersises etc) some weeks we might just chat and support each other if needs be. Before I started, I had this vision of the group that terrified me that was like a hollywood movie type support group where you had to stand up and introduce yourself and talk about yourself: this turned out to be a false expectation, and I was gently incorportated into the group and left to contribute as I got more comfortable (thank god for that!)

many thanks for the kind replies everyone, and I would like to post some of my progress in the future, just hope I don't crash and burn too soon :afr 

pabs


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## brainfog (Mar 1, 2005)

Good on ya Pabs, for taking such a big step forward, going to CBT group therapy must have been a very hard decision to make.

I am currently seeing a clinical psychologist for my SA and depression, and she suggested I try CBT group therapy, I can tell you I am petrified. I have done CBT before but only one on one with the psychologist, unfortunately it didn't do me much good at all, so hopefully the group therapy will be more successful. My big concern is that I will get cold feet and pull out, its still 5 weeks away but I am already thinking about it a lot and getting very anxious.


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## pabs (Jul 21, 2006)

brainfog said:


> Good on ya Pabs, for taking such a big step forward, going to CBT group therapy must have been a very hard decision to make.


thanks brainfrog, it was a big step and I was very anxious before I started, but the great thing about it is that everyones there because they want help, and will not judge you at all if and when you show your SA symptoms. I would like to make a suggestion, but I completely understand that we are all different and some things work for some and not for others - when you start the group no doubt you will try to hide your anxieties which is just more anxiety to deal with. Try to go in with the mindset that you want to show your anxiety to everyone as a statement of why you are there. A CBT group is not a social gathering, it is a place to help you improve your life, and be proud of yourself for attending the group. Its difficult to feel pride sometimes, but the way I look at my attendance at CBT is that it is an achievment greater than anything I had ever done before, and that after a session I know I will get the exhileration that anyone gets from a great achievement (attending a CBT group is a great achievement, period).



brainfog said:


> I can tell you I am petrified.


I don't doubt it whatsoever, I was too, but the feeling of hope and achievement I felt after my first meeting was soooo worth it.



brainfog said:


> I have done CBT before but only one on one with the psychologist, unfortunately it didn't do me much good at all, so hopefully the group therapy will be more successful. My big concern is that I will get cold feet and pull out, its still 5 weeks away but I am already thinking about it a lot and getting very anxious.


I would completelty understand if you pulled out, I was fortunate in that I only had one week to wait before I started (IMHO waiting time is a breeding ground for anxiety) and I was seriously considering not going. I would hate to think that Im putting any extra pressure on you to attend: whatever you decide to do will be right for you at this time. I would just like to re-emphasize the point that a CBT group is a means to an end. There is absolutley no expectation (let alone obligation) for you to be soical there, to smile at people, to put on a brave face, to acknowledge people, to try and sound or look confident, to remember peoples names etc etc. You are going there to attack your SA, try and go with the mindset that you want people to see what SA does to you.

I hope some of this helps, and would be more than happy to answer any questions you might have on my CBT experiences 

pabs


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## brainfog (Mar 1, 2005)

Thanks for the encouragement and the advise Pabs, its much appreciated. Hopefully I can get the same sort of benefit out of it that you did. I guess the best thing I can do is to go in there with an open mind, because even though I am scared I know that if it all works out I will feel much better and will have achieved a great deal.


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## pabs (Jul 21, 2006)

more than welcome brainfrog, and Im sure you will get alot out of it, the fact that you have taken positive action to attend a CBT group is a huge step; you may not realise just how big now, as in my experience anxiety distorts so many things, but I hope you can take pride in yourself for such a positive and courageous step. 

very best of luck to you brainfrog, 

pabs


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