# At what age did you realize you have social anxiety?



## ForgotMyUsername (Apr 19, 2018)

Hi  
I am new here as I only a few months ago I realized I have social anxiety.
I am 29.
When did you guys realize you are social anxious?


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

I knew I was socially anxious for as long as I can remember, I know I was terrified of people as a toddler. I didn't learn that there's a mental disorder called social anxiety disorder until my 20s.


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## i suck at life (Mar 14, 2014)

maybe like 15


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## Pongowaffle (Jul 23, 2015)

I don't know exactly when. My earliest memory of noticing social anxiety was in kindergarten. All of the other kids will flock together to play in the playground at break time. I will stand around at the wall staring at them. I will not join them. I want to join them. But I fear they will reject me. I do not remember what prompt me to think like this when I was a kid. I was probably 4-5 years old at the time. When I entered first grade, I went to the same school as my brother and sister. Instead of seeking my own friends, I will hang out with their friends. Follow them around. My sister eventually told me to stop following her and her friends. My brother tried to. I think that was what prompt him to dislike me later on when we grew up. It might have prompt his bullying of me later in life.


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## Slacker (Apr 30, 2017)

Forever... I didn't actually have a name for it till I was around 20 and started seeing a doc. Before then I just assumed I was shy and this is how shy people feel.

My mom told me a story of when I was like 3 or 4 and in daycare, the people there were very concerned about me because I would grab a toy and go off in a corner and play by myself and not with the other kids. So it would seem I was always this way.


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## notBlair (Sep 1, 2016)

I learned what social anxiety was when I was around 15. So I guess that's when I knew and could put words to thoughts. It was a gradual thing that started with presentation anxiety when I was younger and just extended onto other public and social aspects.


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## 552569 (Oct 20, 2014)

I definitely have struggled with it since I was about 8 years old, after switching schools. But I didn't actually know about social anxiety until high school around the age 14/15. I started to research some of my symptoms and found it fairly quickly.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

late 2004 (It was more GAD from 1999-2004, but the SA exploded in 2004).
@ForgotMyUsername - I was also 29.


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## Kilgore Trout (Aug 10, 2014)

Paul said:


> I knew I was socially anxious for as long as I can remember, I know I was terrified of people as a toddler. I didn't learn that there's a mental disorder called social anxiety disorder until my 20s.


This.


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## Kalakotkas (Feb 15, 2018)

I think I consciously realized that I had issues when I was 24. Back then I was living with an extroverted roomate that I hated and I was coming back to the apartment just to sleep. I remember clearly one time, around 11 PM, when I was watching the light in my room from the street, waiting for him to leave with his friends. I had like an epiphany, I was like: 'what the hell am I doing here?? This is insane... '.
Before that I've always found ridicolous justifications for my behavior, but I avoided people and social events since I was 14-15.


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

Didn't realise there was a name for it until I found this forum, so 19.


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## Rains (Jan 20, 2016)

I realised at around 15 ish, but I realised again, on a deeper level, in my early 20s. The first time around I thought it was a phase, the second time around I realised it was a serious and chronic problem.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I always knew I was very anxious, at one point I was diagnosed with selective mutism by a psychologist examing my brother (he was diagnosed with dyslexia but probably should have been diagnosed with ADHD as well and he's also socially anxious and has gotten more so with age, but it was never a problem for him in school.) I also had a bunch of hearing tests done in school but do not remember this period well since it was early childhood. 

Later as a teenager I saw a documentary about selective mutism and thought 'that's me, but I'm milder?' because even though I was the most anxious person I knew I didn't have selective mutism at that point. I tried to explain this to my parents after watching and I remember them being dismissive.

When I was 18 I discovered this site and that social anxiety disorder is a thing I signed up bit forgot about that account and made this one the following summer at 19, and then was mostly inactive here for a couple of years.

I know I have other things going on as well now though in addition to social anxiety.

Naturally it disgusts me that nobody ever helped me when this started so early, and then when I finally sought treatment at 23 I got 12 weeks **** cbt, no meds offered, and no access to a psychologist to examine what my problems are generally. When I tried to talk about my issues with motivation my therapist changed the subject.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

20s maybe. I just thought everyone else had it but was better at fighting through it.


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

*each job loss leading to pinnacle*

too many times - sharp!
recovering, blooming, jumping, keep going. 2 2-year episodes of no work restart
this I want to say at my April neuro-rehab review meeting. 
health never affects my abilities. no broken bones. wheelchaired people get office jobs

my refined expertise

knocked for not being thrilling outgoer:crying:

2011 age 35 got sour about sociability

much more to it than being friendly. vampires love blood. Humans need humans! Love, kiss, hug every day. magnetic force-like binding


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## NoLife93 (Jan 2, 2018)

Early 20s is when i pinpointed the cause of my feelings of nervousness and panic for no reason.


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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

You don't just realize one day that you have SA almost halfway through your life. Double-check your diagnosis with your doctor.


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## TheInvisibleHand (Sep 5, 2015)

14


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## TheInvisibleHand (Sep 5, 2015)

naes said:


> *You don't just realize one day* that you have SA almost halfway through your life. .


Thanks to the internet yes you do.


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## Wren611 (Oct 19, 2012)

When I was diagnosed at 23.


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## Raies (Nov 3, 2016)

21 or 22, ish...

Before that I just avoided social stuff like the plague.
Knowing about it helps fighting it


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## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

At 13 I was diagnosed, but very little was really done and it was like taboo in my family to talk about. You just end up feeling very alone and confused and this need to be medicated but kept quiet about it was strange.


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## Lostbeauties (Nov 15, 2017)

I don't know if you'd call it social anxiety, mine was more social awkwardness, and I've had it since I was a little girl.


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## darth maul (Mar 12, 2018)

My social anxiety started at kindergarden one of the reasons was a speech problem i had.At the age of 10 i knew there was something wrong with me.I was diagnosed with social anxiety at 25.


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## White Shirt Guy (Sep 26, 2019)

13/14


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

What age did I realize I was "weird" or what age did I realize that "social anxiety" was a big part of that "weirdness"?

I did not realize there was a (somewhat perjorative) label/diagnosis for my feelings until I found this forum. That would have been somewhere around 2009ish (So if you do the math I'd have been around 36 before I knew there was any recognition of it as some kind of "disorder").

If you mean "What age did I realize I was different?" Probably as soon as I learned to talk. Although I don't remember the exact moment I became capable of communicating. I do remember (vaguely) always being more negatively affected by social interaction than most of the other kids. ALWAYS. There was never a time when I wasn't "abnormally" anxious in general. Social anxiety may have kind of been a branch that grew out of that general anxiety. Since if you're anxious in general, you will probably be negatively influenced by negative social experiences and dread similar ones in the future. I do not remember any specific early traumas that were any more intense than anything all kids experience. I only remember being more strongly affected by things than (say) my sister or my cousin or the kid who lived next door. 

So yeah. I say I've pretty much "had it" all my life. I don't ever remember a time when I wasn't like this. There were certainly times when I supressed my natural aversions to socializing and pretended it wasn't so but you know how that goes. You can only pretend getting burned doesn't suck until it happens.


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## lolita (Mar 28, 2019)

I was pretty outgoing as a child. I participated in a lot of after school activities.
I'll be honest I was a little weird but it never phased me until I started my teenage years.
All the bullying and always being home alone caused me to be depress and anxious.
I've improved my anxiety as I got older but it's always there with me.


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## Ahewsonator (Dec 22, 2019)

Probably about 12


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## Ai (Oct 13, 2012)

I mean, I was conscious of the fact that I was an irrationally fearful child. I always knew that my aversion to social situations wasn't normal, but most of my quirks aren't. So I tended to chalk it up to general dysfunction. 

I was probably around 18 or 19 when I discovered that social anxiety was an actual thing.


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## copper (Nov 10, 2003)

In my early 20's when I was in college taking Abnormal Psych and really confirmed it when I got internet access when I was 26 when I could research it in depths. The Abnormal Psych book only had a small paragraph about it.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I thought it was general anxiety from my first panic attack - January 28, 1989 (age 13 1/2) to when I finally realized it was SA - June 18, 2004 (two days before I turned 29). It took a bad church experience with spiritually abusive people to finally get my answers. I had all of the signs. It was also that time I found out about spiritually abusive churches and how they can use people's anxiety to control them.


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

28 before I even realised my problems might actually have a label, thanks to the internet, in retrospect I had my first panic attack at 14 but I didn't even know what it was till years later, I was just allowed to isolate myself.

I was mocked & ridiculed for years for being a quiet, shy, oddball, I never got any help, it wasn't there anyway, I came through the worst of it myself.


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## Raies (Nov 3, 2016)

Got the diagnosis at 22. Had no clue prior to that.

Kind of gave me something to blame for my issues - before I thought I was just a ****up, and that gave room to work on my issues, which is the way to fixing yourself.


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## losthorizon (Oct 27, 2019)

I've always known to some extent that I'm socially awkward and exceptionally shy. I realized in my late teens that I am much more introverted than the average person. My social anxiety increased proportionally with my misanthropy in later years.


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## Fever Dream (Aug 18, 2015)

Around 13 or 14. But I knew something was wrong before that. Also it runs in the family as my mother was a bit of an anxious person.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

I want to say I knew the term for it around 13? But I became aware of the symptoms and the fact that I was "different" around 11. Middle school.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

In one of my earliest (very hazy) memories, I remember being very young (probably younger than 5) and was at my grandmother's house. I guess they were having some kind of family get together and all of my mom's sisters (and their boyfriends or husbands were there too). So we're all sitting at the table and I guess I reached for some piece of food one of my uncles had and he smacked my hand away. 

I don't recall being even slightly upset about him smacking my hand away but I remember that my grandmother got really mad at him and yelled at him and that freaked me out. I think after that, I was scared of both of them for a long time. So it was her overreaction that really freaked me out.


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## Cletis (Oct 10, 2011)

I've always been extremely shy. I've grown out of it somewhat as I've gotten older.


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## mmefate (Feb 26, 2020)

17 when I found this forum the first time. I knew it was more than shy but couldn't describe it until then


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## Cool Ice Dude55 (Jan 7, 2014)

When I was about 12 and I saw a documentary on selective mutism and it just spoke to me (if youll pardon the pun).


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## kesker (Mar 29, 2011)

Cool Ice Dude55 said:


> When I was about 12 and I saw a documentary on selective mutism and it just spoke to me *(if youll pardon the pun).*


:lol


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## discopotato (Dec 24, 2016)

I've known for as long as I can remember. I had selective mutism as a young child and I've always been extremely shy and introverted.


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## Aurel (Mar 5, 2020)

I think I was about 16.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Middle school...11 or 12. That's when I started to really struggle socially at school, and I ended up doing some research on how I was feeling.


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## Sekiro (Dec 29, 2019)

God I really wish I knew what it was like not to feel weird around people.


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## donistired (Nov 29, 2018)

Probably eleven. I think after experiencing a few social rejections and finding that most people didn't really value my presence or seem to want me around on top of undergoing brain trauma that made it difficult for me to communicate and socialize normally, I developed anxiety issues around people. I started to actually dislike people and prefer being alone rather than having to "perform" a certain way to be accepted.


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## Care2018 (Aug 23, 2018)

Ive been socially anxious since childhood but I realized it in my early teen years.


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## Lelouch Lamperouge (May 13, 2013)

Was diagnosed at 10


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

I was a kid, shy all my life but I didn't know what social anxiety was until I was about 25 or so.


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## CoolLilChickadee (Nov 10, 2019)

I knew I was different starting in junior high. I didn't learn it had a name until many years later.


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## Suchness (Aug 13, 2011)

21, when the drugs ****ed me up. But yeah I don't think I knew what it was until I got diagnosed a couple of years later.


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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

I remember being close with my female cousin as a small kid. We were around the same age. Then, all of a sudden at my birthday party one year, I remember going off and hanging out with her as we usually did, but it felt different. I felt extremely self aware and was unable to speak. I can't recall dates, but I would guess I was around 6.

Of course I didn't know what I was feeling then. I would say I "discovered" what SA was right as I joined this site in 2007.


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## irishkarl (Apr 20, 2020)

i started developing SA when i started college at 18


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

About early 20's - I realised there was a problem when I couldn't go to Uni and needed Serepax even to do a simple TAFE course.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

probably as a fetus, that's why i was born by c-section. didn't want to come out :haha knew it wasn't going to go well


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

andy1984 said:


> probably as a fetus, that's why i was born by c-section. didn't want to come out :haha knew it wasn't going to go well


I used to say something similar to that - apparently they needed forceps to get me out. 

Personally I think they might have squeezed my head a bit tight. :roll


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## Suchness (Aug 13, 2011)

harrison said:


> About early 20's - I realised there was a problem when I couldn't go to Uni and needed Serepax even to do a simple TAFE course.


Good old Serepax. I used to Dr shop for that, I'd take like 7 after getting it from the pharmacy and wake up at home not remembering what happened. Sometimes I would take up to 15 benzos at a time and drink alcohol, it got too much, I knew I had to quit.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

Suchness said:


> Good old Serepax. I used to Dr shop for that, I'd take like 7 after getting it from the pharmacy and wake up at home not remembering what happened. Sometimes I would take up to 15 benzos at a time and drink alcohol, it got too much, I knew I had to quit.


Yeah, benzos can be really bad. I was hooked on Xanax for a long time - my memory was terrible and at the end my brain felt like mush. That's why I started going to that private psych place about 10 years ago - just to get off them. Took me a few tries too - horrible things to withdraw from.

On a side-note - there's actually a cluster of Coronavirus in that place right now. It's pretty crazy.


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## Suchness (Aug 13, 2011)

harrison said:


> Yeah, benzos can be really bad. I was hooked on Xanax for a long time - my memory was terrible and at the end my brain felt like mush. That's why I started going to that private psych place about 10 years ago - just to get off them. Took me a few tries too - horrible things to withdraw from.
> 
> On a side-note - there's actually a cluster of Coronavirus in that place right now. It's pretty crazy.


I didn't take them regularly so I didn't go thru withdrawals but I went thru sleeping pill withdrawals and that was really bad. Messed up my health, I'm still getting over it.


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## SamanthaStrange (Jan 13, 2015)

andy1984 said:


> probably as a fetus, that's why i was born by c-section. didn't want to come out :haha knew it wasn't going to go well


That's funny. :lol


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

andy1984 said:


> probably as a fetus, that's why i was born by c-section. didn't want to come out :haha knew it wasn't going to go well


I was born late and joke about that too.


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

I was also born 3 weeks late, the doctor had to light a fire nearby & smoke me out.


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## lil_tails (Aug 13, 2018)

i waz born weirdly with somekinda complications and ever since that i have weird red mark on my forhead. im either harry potter either choosen to have people phobia


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