# How does it feel to be feminine?



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Very broad question, but how does it feel to feel feminine? Guys or girls can answer this.


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## Resonance (Feb 11, 2010)

It makes me spontaneously have a lisp, shave all my body hair, apply skin oils and take an unusual interest in shoes.


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

It feels good to be gay for a day


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## gomenne (Oct 3, 2009)

I don't know either, you people tell me


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

Kennnie said:


> It feels good to be gay for a day


 i stand by this


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

Very smooth and hairless!


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## Nameless Someone (Oct 21, 2010)

Awesome


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## SuchSweetSorrow (Jun 1, 2011)

let me sum it up for you in the most general way i can;

your question wasn't what does it feel like to be a woman or female; 

it was 'feminine' 

Imagine a big sleek panther, walking slowly through the jungle, not fearing anything, moving in liquid motion, 

watch the shoulder blades of it gracefully sweeping up and down as it puts one paw in front of the other; 

eyes are intense, its in hunt mode, satisfied being in existence and knowing, the world and any object of its desire can be had. 

THAT is what it is like to feel feminine.


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## aw1993 (Aug 8, 2011)

it feels like a limit on the self although i do like being girly


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

iHadItComing said:


> let me sum it up for you in the most general way i can;
> 
> your question wasn't what does it feel like to be a woman or female;
> 
> ...


this may sound incredably awkward on my part but i feel that way sometimes but not the desire to be mystical but rather a bad ***...

i see femininity like a showcase of gracefulness and allure mixed into one


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## foodie (Apr 27, 2010)

.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

Perfectionist said:


> Very smooth and hairless!


I think I'm doing it wrong.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

wow, well I ain't masculine, but I ain't that either. I must be some other "ine".



iHadItComing said:


> let me sum it up for you in the most general way i can;
> 
> your question wasn't what does it feel like to be a woman or female;
> 
> ...


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

not being able to open a jar.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I wonder...


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

I've no idear. I must be doing it wrong. Certainly there are some feminine qualities inherent in a female, on the other hand, a lot of it concerns appearance and a certain angelic quality.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

I don't understand. How can one be a woman and not be able to define her femininity? It is easy for me to define my masculinity.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

^ all right then, define it.


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## sas111 (Oct 20, 2010)

I can't speak for every girl, but I feel soft, dainty, weak, poise (well when i'm around certain people), & a bit bouncy (the way I walk). :teeth 

Don't really know how to answer this question.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Being aggressive in thoughts and actions pretty much sums it up. Women are this way too so I guess I see your point... (applies palm to forehead)...

foiled once again...


To say a man and a woman only inherit nurturing, or on the other spectrum aggressive behaviors, doesn't seem accurate, so to say a man or woman is only masculine or feminine is pretty vague. I would say anatomy is probably the only thing that separates "masculine" from "feminine" attributes - make sense?


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

I think I could only explain with any accuracy how it feels to be me, to be honest.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

leonardess said:


> I think I could only explain with any accuracy how it feels to be me, to be honest.


Maybe it's a profound enough answer for someone like me? :b


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

you mean someone with traits at both ends of the spectrum? Mayhap, you wily minx, mayhap.....

god. listen to me. I need to go to bed already.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

leonardess said:


> you mean someone with traits at both ends of the spectrum?


Fair enough  I see now how it's somewhat a vague thing to answer.

EDIT: Maybe masculinity and femininity are only meant to explain extreme difference? Haha... I just realized how stupid that sounded...


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## Phoenix Rising (Jul 7, 2011)

Depending on mood: the burden of feeling like you have to make up your face() or the accepted ability to use makeup and fun colors to make yourself look different )) Same goes for feminine clothes.....burden some days and fun some days. Same for shaving. 

And being able to express negative emotions like sadness is nice too, but I still feel like I can't express anger (although that probably is more of a personal thing than a female thing).


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

Feels good man.

It's like wearing a skirt on a summer day and feeling a cool breeze where the sun doesn't shine. Or something.


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## mind_games (Nov 30, 2008)

au Lait said:


> Feels good man.
> 
> It's like wearing a skirt on a summer day and feeling a cool breeze where the sun doesn't shine. Or something.


Hey I know how that fee-! :blank

I wear a sarong sometimes. What does this mean about my manliness? :afr jk -about manliness insecurity. not kidding about sarong.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Eating an entire tub of ice cream in one sitting ! 

:teeth


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## JustKittenRightMeow (Jul 25, 2011)

I hate it sometimes....

My Brother always teases me about how I should have been born a guy because I act so manly at times. According to him, girls can not take craps and make the bathroom smell like an open cemetery met a sewage plant, they can not eat a lot, swearing is a no go and also, having a dirty mind and dirty sense of humor is pretty..yeah.... I do burp a lot but that's mainly around people I'm close too since I do have manners and can control myself. 

I think it's boring and overwhelming for me.


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## BKrakow (Jul 8, 2010)

I kind of have issues with my femininity (growing up with 2 older brothers will do that to you). first, I feel like I don't even know what true femininity is. I enjoy wearing nice clothes and shoes, getting my hair done, and the occasional romantic comedy. but is this really femininity, or is it just a highly stereotypical take on it? if we're going by traditional views of femininity/masculinity, I guess I'd say I actually prefer my masculine traits. I enjoy feeling strong, powerful, and maybe a bit intimidating. like, I've been working out for a while now and I just love feeling physically strong. I never want to go back to being the timid waif that I was. I don't particularly feel the desire to nurture anything (except kittens, of course). oh, and I do love playing xbox...


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

mind_games said:


> Hey I know how that fee-! :blank
> 
> I wear a sarong sometimes. What does this mean about my manliness? :afr jk -about manliness insecurity. not kidding about sarong.


Osnap you're right, I forgot to factor in manly skirts such as sarongs and kilts.

Hmm better rethink my analogy.

I think I have a better one. Being feminine is like being a unicorn frolicking in an enchanted forest, farting rainbows and peeing sunshine.


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## MojoCrunch (Mar 25, 2011)

I feel masculine around women and feminine around men. Don't know how to explain it. Around people that I'm comfortable around (mostly female friends) I can be seen as somewhat aggressive. I'm usually more unaware of my appearance and don't really care about it that much. But with men, mostly with ones I like, I can feel my voice getting softer and quieter and I feel like I'm shrinking? 

:b


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

MojoCrunch said:


> But with men, mostly with ones I like, I can feel my voice getting softer and quieter and I feel like I'm shrinking?


Do you like feeling this way with men? Please explain your answers. THanks


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

No idea. Don't want to find out either. I'm happy being a dude.


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## Elleire (Jul 24, 2011)

Like masculine... with sparkles, and millions of products used to perpetuate the idea that women don't smell bad. 

Oh, and fruity beverages - the sacred rite of femininity. 

+1 girly points for mini umbrellas. 

+1000000 if she keeps her legs and nether region smooth-shaven even in winter, a long-term relationship, or when single and not looking.

I'm so bad at this game. v_v


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

IS THERE AN ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION!!??

jk.


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

^ I did answer. It feels like not being able to lift heavy things or open jars. :-D


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

senrab said:


> ^ I did answer. It feels like not being able to lift heavy things or open jars. :-D


Haha, thanks for your reply!!

I still can't open a lot of jars btw.... one trick: lightly tap the lid in three different places around the edge of the opening on a counter top or something and magic happens! my masculinity at it's best!


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

phoelomek said:


> Like masculine... with sparkles, and millions of products used to perpetuate the idea that women don't smell bad.
> 
> Oh, and fruity beverages - the sacred rite of femininity.
> 
> ...


haha, funny!

fruity beverages i notice a lot ladies!


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## dontworrybehappy (Dec 4, 2010)

To be feminine can be conflicting sometimes...
To act like a lady...
To be soft spoken and reserved...unlike loud and rowdy...
To smile quickly and laugh quietly...
To be a good friend, caring and supportive...
Sit with legs together...or legs crossed at the ankle...
To value yourself and behave accordingly...
Expressing yourself with out using profanity...
Being soft and sweet...
Not acting wild and tough...
Not trying to act like the guys...


....Nah, I just stole all that from some site. :b

Trying to be feminine makes me feel like I'm being restrained sometimes (with what I can say, do, and wear), but I think of being feminine as being delicate, graceful, and emotional mostly.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

So, I've been thinking about this more. 

I guess first, one would need to define exactly what the term feminine is supposed to mean. 

One thing I can tell you. sometimes it feels extremely unsafe to be a woman.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

leonardess said:


> I guess first, one would need to define exactly what the term feminine is supposed to mean.


Exactly.

*fem·i·nine*

   [fem-uh-nin]  Show IPA
adjective 1. pertaining to a woman or girl: feminine beauty; feminine dress.

2. *having qualities traditionally ascribed to women, as sensitivity or gentleness.*

-------------------------
I've seen both sensitive men and woemn so it is hard for me to differentiate a "feminine" - if as described by the definition above - from a male character as well.

Feminine should describe the main characteristics that isolates a woman from a man. If there is any...


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

To me being feminine is being tiny & weak. (That's how I am & consider myself so, obviously not for everyone.) Wearing stockings & high heels while being a damsel in distress.

I'm so cliche but I love it.


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

bwidger85 said:


> Haha, thanks for your reply!!
> 
> I still can't open a lot of jars btw.... one trick: lightly tap the lid in three different places around the edge of the opening on a counter top or something and magic happens! my masculinity at it's best!


I shall have to remember that trick. Usually I try warping the lid with a knife (prying it open) or using one of those "gripper" things (and I don't know the name of them...it's a flat piece of thin rubber with texture on the bottom...)


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

being too scared to kill spiders and other heinous bugs


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

senrab said:


> I shall have to remember that trick. Usually I try warping the lid with a knife (prying it open) or using one of those "gripper" things (and I don't know the name of them...it's a flat piece of thin rubber with texture on the bottom...)


this is where i'm suppose to laugh at the knife technique :b


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

^ haha, go ahead


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## MojoCrunch (Mar 25, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> Do you like feeling this way with men? Please explain your answers. THanks


I'll try to explain it. In a way I do like feeling this way. It's the only time I feel like a girl. All nice a delicate feeling. I don't really feel weak (though some would say I'm in a weak position b/c my emotions are controlling me a the moment). But when my voice feels like it goes up an octave higher or something that feels weird. That's an aspect of being feminine that I can't explain. I don't intentionally do these things but they happen. It's only been recently that I've caught myself on them.

Oh man, these funny gushy girly feelings.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

hm. okay, still thinking. 

feminine. I suppose I feel "feminine" when I'm around men. Not so much around other women? I'm not even sure I'm right about that. I'm not sure I would say 100% in every situation, that that's true. 

still thinking.


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## tutliputli (Feb 22, 2009)

I honestly don't know. I feel fragile and squidgy. Is that normal?


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

hm, again. okay, when I feel I look my best, that will encourage that feminine feeling - which, I guess, I would define as being particularly aware that I am a girl (by girl I mean a woman), with girly (womanly) parts. 

If I wear heels, a skirt, and so on, I definitely feel different. If I get a look or two, I become acutely aware that I am female, more so than at other times. Not sure what that says about me as a person, but I know that I usually like it. I'm not always "comfortable" with it, though.


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## MojoCrunch (Mar 25, 2011)

leonardess said:


> hm. okay, still thinking.
> 
> feminine. I suppose I feel "feminine" when I'm around men. Not so much around other women? I'm not even sure I'm right about that. I'm not sure I would say 100% in every situation, that that's true.
> 
> still thinking.


This question was way more difficult to explain than I thought. I wasn't even sure of my own answers. Meh, hormones. Being feminine feels like estrogen.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Like a tiny tiger. Rawr.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

MojoCrunch said:


> This question was way more difficult to explain than I thought. I wasn't even sure of my own answers. Meh, hormones. Being feminine feels like estrogen.


heh - that's probably closer than I'll ever get to a coherent answer.

Soft? I don't _feel_ very soft, inside or out. 
Capitulative? I don't know about that, that just feels like it goes hand in hand with SA.

I sometimes wonder if I could answer this question more easily, just for myself, if I knew nothing of SA, never experienced it, etc etc.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Well, see, I often hear women say a man makes them feel "feminine", for example. I would always interpret that saying as feeling physically weaker (not mentally or emotionally [i respect women]), protected and appreciated. As a man, a woman will have the opposite affect: he will feel "masculine" in the sense the he is physically powerful, dominant and confident. Mind you, this does not mean women are not confident or powerful when they are feeling feminine.....I'm just trying to explain the way I see it... if women LIKE feeling that way around a man and are attracted to more dominant men then that is inherently a feminine characteristic I would assume and vise versa for a male (i.e., most men appreciate feeling stronger and being a protector whereas a woman the opposite in TYPICAL instances)

funny thing is, as i've heard, women are the main reason a man does anything in the first place! so who's more dominant than who!? lol..think about it...


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

mmmm, not so much "weaker", necessarily, although I would guess that would depend on the woman herself (I've known women much smaller than myself that can take care of themselves pretty well. I wouldn't want to meet them in a dark alley). but certainly _appreciated_ and "taken care of". for example, I appreciate men who open doors and all that. I don't see it as patronizing in the slightest, but rather a sign of respect. I always say thank you to men whom I don't know when they do this. The man I happen to be with, I don't, as he and I both know after the first few times that he will always do it.

So, I guess those little things, and sometimes bigger things, that say "i want to take care of you" in unspoken ways, are, to me, signs of respect. Is that part of feeling feminine? or perhaps more accurately, part of what can make me feel feminine.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

okay, so - here is how I think it is for me.

men share certain traits in my mind. whatever size, shape, etc etc they are, there's a certain _maleness _that seems to come with the territory, like certain types of jokes, a _randiness, _even a certain type of wit.

It's just _different, _you know?

okay, so, when i am around that, I _feel_ the difference. there are just certain male traits I don't have, will never have, and don't understand because I just can't fathom what it's like to be a man.

and some of them can be disturbing. when I say that, I don't mean obvious things either, like machismo, and so on - both sexes can really dislike those things. No, I'm talking about those inherent characteristics which lead to tripe like Mars and Venus being written, because some member of either sex wants to sell you on the idea that they alone understand what's going on.

okay, so, I'm sure I'm not making sense at this point, but apparently my sense of being feminine comes from being around people of the opposite sex, and I'm even more aware of and _like_ it, when a person of the opposite sex shows that he appreciates how I'm different, since that's why we're attracted to each other in the first place, right? and shows that he has the sensitivity to consider some of those traits that need a bit of curbing, like (to risk a generality here) not paying all that much attention to, let's say, cleanliness, so subsequently he shows some sensitivity to how he dresses when I'm around, or how much he shaves, etc etc. Or, and here's a BIG thing when on a date - how he treats the staff. I don't expect him to lose himself by bending over backwards to please.

And, by the same token, if I take time to consider what I can do to show that he's appreciated - like for example if I'm not into birdwatching but I know he loves to do that, OR, more to the point, if I don't really consider myself a dress wearer (which I don't), but I know he likes to look at legs, then I will make an effort and really dude myself up. That's being feminine, and feeling feminine. things like that.

So, I suppose you could say in a way, I get my femininity from men, being around them, being appreciated by them, being considered by them. Is that bad or good? am I supposed to just feel my femininity from within? I don't know. I just know that is how it is for me.

this might explain why you will hear women feel sorry for themselves in some ways. They are not made to _feel_ feminine. and that I can totally understand.


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## MojoCrunch (Mar 25, 2011)

^^ Pretty good summation Leonardess. Pretty much how I feel for the most part.



bwidger85 said:


> Well, see, I often hear women say a man makes them feel "feminine", for example. I would always interpret that saying as feeling physically weaker (not mentally or emotionally [i respect women]), protected and appreciated. As a man, a woman will have the opposite affect: he will feel "masculine" in the sense the he is physically powerful, dominant and confident. Mind you, this does not mean women are not confident or powerful when they are feeling feminine.....I'm just trying to explain the way I see it...* if women LIKE feeling that way around a man and are attracted to more dominant men then that is inherently a feminine characteristic I would assume and vise versa for a male* (i.e., most men appreciate feeling stronger and being a protector whereas a woman the opposite in TYPICAL instances)
> 
> funny thing is, as i've heard, women are the main reason a man does anything in the first place! so who's more dominant than who!? lol..think about it...


Good point. The secret feminine mystique which some would say is phermones.

As for the bolded part, I actually was thinking about that too. Not all the guys I've been attracted to or dated were the typical muscly masculine type. Some would say that a few of the guys I've been attracted to look more feminine and even gay. In this case I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the height? I still say it's a natural hormonal feeling that comes about when being around men. Something in the chemistry that causes my voice to go up an octave and my consciousness of how I move. That i move in a graceful way.

What you just mentioned made me think of two people that showed up on the Tyra Banks talk show. This guy was attracted to women that were over 300 lbs. He was maybe less than 180 lbs and his gf was 500 lbs. That relationship to me changed my views on how people feel more masculine or feminine. I guess there's always exceptions. I wonder how those two would answer this question.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

leonardess said:


> okay, so - here is how I think it is for me.
> 
> men share certain traits in my mind. whatever size, shape, etc etc they are, there's a certain _maleness _that seems to come with the territory, like certain types of jokes, a _randiness, _even a certain type of wit.
> 
> ...


Well written, and I get one important aspect from reading this:

It may be, the reason femininity and masculinity are used is _to show the affect__ one sex has on another_ and not to necessarily describe a gender alone.

So, if you try to describe yourself as "feminine" it is hard to do WITHOUT being generated by a different sexual energy. Femininity and masculinity need a different sexual energy to be properly defined. Haha, make sense?


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## UnderMySkin (Sep 7, 2010)

Kennnie said:


> It feels good to be gay for a day


There's a difference between being feminine and being gay.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

bwidger85 said:


> Well written, and I get one important aspect from reading this:
> 
> It may be, the reason femininity and masculinity are used is _to show the affect__ one sex has on another_ and not to necessarily describe a gender alone.
> 
> So, if you try to describe yourself as "feminine" it is hard to do WITHOUT being generated by a different sexual energy. Femininity and masculinity need a different sexual energy to be properly defined. Haha, make sense?


yes, that makes sense. I'll bet if you started a thread titled "Guys! what do you think of as feminine?" You'd have gotten a LOT more answers, and likewise, if you'd started a thread titled "Ladies! what do you think of as masculine?" you'd have gotten many more, definite answers to that.

and, your post up there makes me wonder, what if you'd titled a thread "Define Yourself" what kinds of answers you'd have gotten, other than people being down on themselves for having SA, of course.


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## roughh (Aug 2, 2011)

I think the only feminine trait I could point out in myself is that I feel like I have the right to change my mind a lot and that my mood swings are given a free pass. I mean - I feel privileged in that sector.

What else. I think I have the mother instinct, because even though I am usually cold and I don't care about others too much, but when I see someone who is being bullied or mistreated in any way I stand to protect them and I'm nice to such people.

But I don't dance, I can't control my body at all, I have no romantic skills, I can and do absolutely take care of myself, I never feel weaker than guys, I fight with some of my guy friends physically etc. So yeah, I guess I'm either too masculine, or there's not a simple definition of femininity.

And I guess what we perceive as _femininity _changes with the times too.


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