# Guys must be good looking?



## ljubo (Jul 26, 2015)

I live in a town that has 300 000 people, i go out every day and not a single time have i seen a very ugly guy having a girlfriend. Only in few cases like on internet i have seen it, but its always old people not young.

Why is looks so important in todays society? Not even non-attractive females want very ugly guys.

SA-girls on this forum, would you date a very ugly guy? I guess not...


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## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

Yep.
My boyfriend is an ugly creep.
So am I.

We're a perfect match.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

People want to date someone they are attracted too.

Just because a girl isnt attractive doesn't mean she will find other unattractive guys attractive all of a sudden.

Plus me personally, I'd never want to date a girl who thought I was ugly.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ljubo (Jul 26, 2015)

DiscardYourFear said:


> Yep.
> My boyfriend is an ugly creep.
> So am I.
> 
> We're a perfect match.


Show me a picture, i have a hard time to belive this.

Im sure both of you are hot.


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## ljubo (Jul 26, 2015)

Jesuszilla said:


> People want to date someone they are attracted too.
> 
> Just because a girl isnt attractive doesn't mean she will find other unattractive guys attractive all of a sudden.
> 
> ...


Problem is, some guys, like me, are ugly in all eyes. Nobody could find me good looking.


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## Potato Girl (Jul 22, 2013)

I see plenty of ugly guys and ugly girls with partners, and not necessarily together.


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## ljubo (Jul 26, 2015)

raenic said:


> I see plenty of ugly guys and ugly girls with partners, and not necessarily together.


Only becuse they are not hot it does not mean that they are "ugly".

An ugly person is like me, very ugly. Not many are this ugly, maybe only 1 % of all guys.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Well it would be ridiculous to expect someone to date a person they aren't physically attracted to. Would you happily date a girl who you thought was ugly? Physical attraction is important in a relationship after all. I'd be surprised if you were undateably ugly, perhaps you're in the unfortunate situation of only being attracted to stunning woman? My advice would be to work on your fashion, look after yourself, get fit etc and improve your image where you can.


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## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

ljubo said:


> Show me a picture, i have a hard time to belive this.
> 
> Im sure both of you are hot.


My picture is on my profile. I have glasses on and a red shirt.
I can't share his picture here without his permission, but I can tell you he is bald, with a thick graying beard, and he always has booze in front of him and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.


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## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

I think it the same females they dont want to date a person they are not attracted to same us males i could not date a girl i was not attracted to


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## Orbiter (Jul 8, 2015)

DiscardYourFear said:


> Yep.
> My boyfriend is an ugly creep.
> So am I.
> 
> We're a perfect match.


Is he an ugly creep to *you* or is it just what other people would deem him under societal standards?


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Look at people who are married though, so many ugly people have found someone. Usually not someone that I would have bothered with though.


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## NoHobbies (Jun 26, 2013)

I was watching the Kardashians yesterday and they were trying to pick some guy to date. They had like 30 men come to their store to audition. Kourtney said that they were all losers.(Really. All 30 men are losers. Imagine what women think about me). Then they had an employee go out to pick one out of the crowd and she brought some buff Spanish guy named Roberto in. Khloe and Kourtney kept going on about how sexy he was and he didn't really say anything different from what the other guys said. As a matter of fact he barely spoke English. All he won say was "I like I like". He then took his shirt off and won the date. They went out on a date and it was a silent date. I guess they forgot to consider how the guy spoke little English.


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## UnusualSuspect (Feb 24, 2014)

it's really a combination of factors, but to say looks are not important at all is plain bull.
but even if you don't have the looks, it can be done. I've seen it happen.


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## BlueWizzard (Oct 26, 2015)

Yes if you are good looking (you dont need to be arnold schwarzneger) it helps even if you are shy


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## The Starry night (May 23, 2015)

I've seen ugly men with better looking gfs. And not every girl wants the common looking "hot" dude.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

Iv'e seen oversized walking trash cans get a girlfriend. No hate on trash cans, they're cool.

If they can do it, you can too!

JUST DO IT!


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## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

Goblin face ugly? We need photos to determine.


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## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

Orbiter said:


> Is he an ugly creep to *you* or is it just what other people would deem him under societal standards?


Of course he's not to me. But I didn't think he was hot when I first saw him, either. He became more attractive to me the more I got to know him.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

they have to be good looking and that's that, guys on youtube makes pranks when they randomly ask girls out, they can do that and get away with it because they know they can get girls based on their looks, that's what makes them confident and the girls respond back in a positive way, if it was a fat, ugly hairy guy doing the same they wouldn't respond the same way, I'm not good looking so I stick to using my hand and still trying to reach my lip to touch the tip of my penis but after many years I still can't do it, I like to watch beautiful transexual girls on porn and cam sites, etc... me talk to a girl in real life? get out of here.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

DiscardYourFear said:


> Of course he's not to me. But I didn't think he was hot when I first saw him, either. He became more attractive to me the more I got to know him.


That's a normal thing though, the hard part is really getting that first half hour or so for them to see the good side of you or good parts of your personality.


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## that weird guy (Aug 14, 2015)

if you look like s**t,you could always talk enough of it to make up for it


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## vsaxena (Apr 17, 2015)

DiscardYourFear said:


> Yep.
> My boyfriend is an ugly creep.
> So am I.
> 
> We're a perfect match.


Awww! That made me smile. God bless you two! I happen to be in love with a rather hideous specimen myself -- though I for one find her to be perfect -- but sadly, she prefers chasing after pretty-boy jerks who use and abuse her. Sighs.

But god bless you, Miss DiscardYourFear!


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

I have seen unattractive guys with (often attractive) girlfriends, plenty of times.

I've said this before and I'll say it again- if you're a guy, then unless you're a 9 or 10 out of ten, you gain little to no benefit from your looks. Which can be a good or bad thing, depending on how you look at it.


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## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

knightofdespair said:


> That's a normal thing though, the hard part is really getting that first half hour or so for them to see the good side of you or good parts of your personality.


Yeah, we met online through a dating site and got to know each other really well before we met in person. The interesting thing was he never perceived me as anxious until we actually met. Then he told me my anxiety was obvious. Apparently, I was shaking like a leaf. 


vsaxena said:


> Awww! That made me smile. God bless you two! I happen to be in love with a rather hideous specimen myself -- though I for one find her to be perfect -- but sadly, she prefers chasing after pretty-boy jerks who use and abuse her. Sighs.
> 
> But god bless you, Miss DiscardYourFear!


I'm glad I made someone smile. 
I hope your "hideous specimen" comes to her senses some day.


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## TCNY (Dec 3, 2014)

id date you all #plentyofhomotogoaround


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

DiscardYourFear said:


> Yeah, we met online through a dating site and got to know each other really well before we met in person. The interesting thing was he never perceived me as anxious until we actually met. Then he told me my anxiety was obvious. Apparently, I was shaking like a leaf.


Weird... I think my anxiety manifests itself a little differently. I get more anxious about where and when to meet people and where the hell I'm going to park when I get there. Nothing I hate more than looking for parking with heavy traffic and crowds all around. Once I actually get that out of the way, I'm far more relaxed. I even go as far as to google pretty much everywhere I go and scope out the traffic and nearby locations to see what the best way is going to be.


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## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

Yes they are think about it girl has to wear make up guy has to be well groomed e.g. clean shaven in shape or close to it well that just a guess as i never came close to have a girlfriend but i also dont follow fashion and dont care so much about my looks as i plan on staying single and having nice old school muscle cars witch i will take better care of then myself haha


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## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

knightofdespair said:


> Weird... I think my anxiety manifests itself a little differently. I get more anxious about where and when to meet people and where the hell I'm going to park when I get there. Nothing I hate more than looking for parking with heavy traffic and crowds all around. Once I actually get that out of the way, I'm far more relaxed. I even go as far as to google pretty much everywhere I go and scope out the traffic and nearby locations to see what the best way is going to be.


I get anxious about where and when to meet people too. And if I haven't been to a place before, I totally panic about parking, afraid I'll never find a space and end up going down a street the wrong way. lol


mike91 said:


> Yes they are think about it* girl has to wear make up *guy has to be well groomed e.g. clean shaven in shape or close to it well that just a guess as i never came close to have a girlfriend but i also dont follow fashion and dont care so much about my looks as i plan on staying single and having nice old school muscle cars witch i will take better care of then myself haha


Nah. I don't have to do anything. I never learned how to apply make-up properly, so I never wear it. The only time I do wear make-up is if another woman puts it on me. That rarely to never happens, as I have no close female friends.


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## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

DiscardYourFear said:


> I get anxious about where and when to meet people too. And if I haven't been to a place before, I totally panic about parking, afraid I'll never find a space and end up going down a street the wrong way. lol
> 
> Nah. I don't have to do anything. I never learned how to apply make-up properly, so I never wear it. The only time I do wear make-up is if another woman puts it on me. That rarely to never happens, as I have no close female friends.


Some girls a pretty without any makeup and some guys like that my sister does not wear any and has had 5 boyfriends in 5 years so it is possible


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

mike91 said:


> Some girls a pretty without any makeup and some guys like that my sister does not wear any and has had 5 boyfriends in 5 years so it is possible


A lot overdo it too.. There is definitely an art to it.


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## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

knightofdespair said:


> A lot overdo it too.. There is definitely an art to it.


There is an art to it! I know what would make me look prettier.
The right kind of make-up applied to my eyes so they don't look so round, but more oval and slanted up slightly. And then some light blush to my cheeks, so I don't look quite so fair. No lipstick, as my lips are naturally red. My problem is, I don't know how to apply it to get the right effect that I am looking for. 
Girls or women that are good at this should feel pride about it!


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

DiscardYourFear said:


> There is an art to it! I know what would make me look prettier.
> The right kind of make-up applied to my eyes so they don't look so round, but more oval and slanted up slightly. And then some light blush to my cheeks, so I don't look quite so fair. No lipstick, as my lips are naturally red. My problem is, I don't know how to apply it to get the right effect that I am looking for.
> Girls or women that are good at this should feel pride about it!


I'm sure they learned it somewhere, most likely it takes a while to master and no doubt also varies a lot by skin/eye colors and what kind of lighting you're in. Some women cake on so much and it makes me wonder what they are hiding, while others look nice but just a little bit here and there would make so much difference. For me nails are what really makes a woman especially appealing. A very nice manicure/pedicure just exudes this extra something.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

ljubo said:


> SA-girls on this forum, would you date a very ugly guy? I guess not...


Why do people start threads asking a question when they've already made up their mind what the answer is...



ljubo said:


> Show me a picture, i have a hard time to belive this.
> 
> Im sure both of you are hot.


...and demand proof from anyone who disagrees with them? Really pointless, as well as rude.



ljubo said:


> Why is looks so important in todays society? Not even non-attractive females want very ugly guys.


Yeah, well, not even non-attractive SA guys want women like me, so, I guess we're even. :blank

ETA:



Ntln said:


> I have seen unattractive guys with (often attractive) girlfriends, plenty of times.


So have I (and I'm from a city of 5000), though I guess the OP wants some kind of proof. :| I'm not the type of person to chase after random couples and take their pictures to prove such things on the Internet, however. That would be weird.


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## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

GGTFM said:


> That sir, is Mobious. By the way, did you see the compliment I left you on one of your pictures?


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

A guy can look pretty attractive if he knows how to treat a woman well and/or provide her w/ a good life.


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

Ok,but what's good looking? Is it a guy with a perfectly chiseled body and a typical handsome face?

I don't see a lot of them around. I see mostly normal people,but also some less attractive and some very attractive people. I would advise those who think that only good looking people are in a relationship to go outside and observe. You'll see that most people aren't perfect and still they have someone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

knightofdespair said:


> A lot overdo it too.. There is definitely an art to it.


Yep alot do over do it and look horrible


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## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

tehuti88 said:


> So have I (and I'm from a city of 5000), though I guess the OP wants some kind of proof. :| I'm not the type of person to chase after random couples and take their pictures to prove such things on the Internet, however. That would be weird.


Not only weird, but pointless. The pictures would prove nothing. You must have doctored them in some way.


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

Women have absurd standards, just get used to it. When you're 40 it might be easier to find someone, though she'll probably compare and judge you against the hot guys she had in the past and be unhappy.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

NoHobbies said:


> I was watching the Kardashians yesterday and they were trying to pick some guy to date. They had like 30 men come to their store to audition. Kourtney said that they were all losers.(Really. All 30 men are losers. Imagine what women think about me). Then they had an employee go out to pick one out of the crowd and she brought some buff Spanish guy named Roberto in. *Khloe and Kourtney* kept going on about how sexy he was and he didn't really say anything different from what the other guys said. As a matter of fact he barely spoke English. All he won say was "I like I like". He then took his shirt off and won the date. They went out on a date and it was a silent date. I guess they forgot to consider how the guy spoke little English.


You're seriously concerned about what the Kardashian girls think? ( bit of a contradiction in terms there actually - i don't think there's a lot of thought happening with those girls)

And anyway - one of them, the big one - looks like a female impersonator.


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

Invisible_girl said:


> I don't see a lot of them around. I see mostly normal people,but also some less attractive and some very attractive people. I would advise those who think that only good looking people are in a relationship to go outside and observe. You'll see that most people aren't perfect and still they have someone.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Exactly. There are a ton of non good looking people in relationships, dating, married, etc. Just go to the mall on a busy day and you'll see a ton of couples like this. Those that think only the very attractive can get dates are suffering from confirmation bias.


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## RiversBetweenUs (Nov 22, 2015)

There is more to a person than looks. I would date someone, if by society's standards is ugly, but only if they had a good heart, took care of themselves, had a positive outlook, and respected me.

I don't like calling people ugly. It's a superficial word. I have met beautiful ugly people. But I have seen people who are considered unattractive have relationships. Many of them are positive, confident, and know they have way more to offer than looks alone.


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## Charmeleon (Aug 5, 2010)

MobiusX said:


> I'm not good looking so I stick to using my hand and still trying to reach my lip to touch the tip of my penis but after many years I still can't do it


Oh my sweet lord hipster jesus dont you dare ever change mobiusx. You just keep doing what you're doing you fine specimen you. One day you'll achieve your goal. Btw may I suggest yoga?


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## dune87 (Aug 10, 2015)

I wouldn't date someone that I don't find handsome.
But it has happened to me to realise that someone's handsome out of the blue and later than the first impression.


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## JohnDoe26 (Jun 6, 2012)

You also have to consider that truly ugly people don't go out a lot so you might not see them with their significant other. 

Most people out there are just normal looking. And there are days where I swear it looks like guys in the entire street came out of a GQ magazine.


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## Buttered Toast (Aug 22, 2015)

Why would they? I put a lot of work into being good looking. If I wanted to be an ugly slob, I could have put no effort in at all.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

JohnDoe26 said:


> You also have to consider that truly ugly people don't go out a lot so you might not see them with their significant other.
> 
> Most people out there are just normal looking. And there are days where I swear it looks like guys in the entire street came out of a GQ magazine.


I think guys have a wider spectrum than women in that regard. I have some days that I'm like damn I look great and some days that I'm like holy crap what the hell happened? Depending on beard and hair along with sleep and allergies/cold, clothes, etc I think I can look as ****ty as a 4/10 some days and 9-10/10 on others.


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## JTHearts (Nov 4, 2015)

I'm not an attractive guy and I have had dated 9 girls in the past 4 years.


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## JohnDoe26 (Jun 6, 2012)

knightofdespair said:


> I think guys have a wider spectrum than women in that regard. I have some days that I'm like damn I look great and some days that I'm like holy crap what the hell happened? Depending on beard and hair along with sleep and allergies/cold, clothes, etc I think I can look as ****ty as a 4/10 some days and 9-10/10 on others.


That's true. I swear I can look totally different depending on the time of day, lighting or mood.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

I have a penchant for handsome men and a sexual appetite which usurps the most hormonally unstable women.


Yes, please.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

JohnsDoe26 said:


> That's true. I swear I can look totally different depending on the time of day, lighting or mood.


That's because the nerves which are connected to your vision or your perception of your physical self are also correlated with the neurological component of cognition.

For those of us with more chronic psychological issues like low self-esteem or have had traumatic stress in childhood, it can be an ongoing process of learning how to actually accept yourself.

Differentiating from perception and reality can be hard, for some.

It's the root of BDD as well.

Imagine like a holographic image, your mind displays in front of you something which is more an amalgamation of your upbringing, cultural roots, childhood events and innate concept of identity rather than the physical essence, the matter which is constructed in front of you.

It's a really weird feeling...all of you BDD sufferers. It's a really weird feeling thinking that you're somehow not attractive when everyone else seems to find you so. Feels like real life Twilight Zone. The brain is a tricky thing. The hard part is learning how to deconstruct your fears and hack away all those weeds which have been infesting your mind to cause you to think a certain way in order to reach some level of contentment.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

I've seen plenty of unattractive guys with a gf. That doesn't mean that their gf found them unattractive though.


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## Victoria Patricia (Nov 20, 2015)

I prefer brains over beauty xx


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## Wizard Lizard (Aug 25, 2015)

MobiusX said:


> they have to be good looking and that's that, guys on youtube makes pranks when they randomly ask girls out, they can do that and get away with it because they know they can get girls based on their looks, that's what makes them confident and the girls respond back in a positive way, if it was a fat, ugly hairy guy doing the same they wouldn't respond the same way, I'm not good looking so I stick to using my hand and still trying to reach my lip to touch the tip of my penis but after many years I still can't do it, I like to watch beautiful transexual girls on porn and cam sites, etc... me talk to a girl in real life? get out of here.


Huh, I've never had a problem with sucking my own dick, I'm even able to get it all in if I flex hard enough. It's really not that great though, it's kinda like trying to tickle yourself.


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## thinkstoomuch101 (Jun 7, 2012)

That's interesting..

My SO was an italian male model that grew up with Scott Baio in Bayridge New York until the ripe old age of 24. He lost all of his hair. Talent agencies stopped calling, girls ran from him, no one wanted to be seen with him - and he was going to be the "Next Big Thing" in NYC.

I grew up facially disfigured and very fat until the ripe old age of 27. Several surgeries, and now, i'm basically back to the natural face i should have been born with.

When i met my SO, he drove up in a very fancy car. As we waited on a date in traffic at a cross walk, a bunch of young rich white girls looked into the car at him, looked at each other and laughed. The look on my SO's face broke my heart.

When we would go out together, people would look at me first, then look at him, then back at me with a quizzical look? I've even had alpha males walk right up and say: "Why are you with him?" "He's not even good looking" *"What's he got that i ain't got?"*

My favorite comeback? "He's got me."

The more i'm with my SO (and it's been over 13 years), the more attractive i find him. I feel very lucky when he tells me i'm beautiful.. Not in a "shallow" way.. it's deeper than that. Coming from him - it really means a lot.


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## Xenacat (Oct 20, 2015)

^thinkstoomuch 101 love your story!

My gfs and I have been out and average looking guys try and chat us up. They are okay looking but they do dumb stuff like smell of BO, not even try to look decent, wear a very unflattering outfit, not practice even basic hygiene. If that is your look-yes, ladies aren't going to be attracted to you. My gorgeous GF who gets hit on constantly had a guy hit on her, he had free military glasses on (called birth control). I told my GFs - He thinks he has a chance! He has on birth control glasses! They fell out laughing. We all wore club dresses and heels. Sometimes when I see guys like this I think-try a little harder with your appearance.


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## JTHearts (Nov 4, 2015)

you people need to come to any Walmart in Tennessee and look at all the couples. Seriously. If you don't believe you can get a girl after that, I'm not sure what will convince you.


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## Orbiter (Jul 8, 2015)

calichick said:


> That's because the nerves which are connected to your vision or your perception of your physical self are also correlated with the neurological component of cognition.
> 
> For those of us with more chronic psychological issues like low self-esteem or have had traumatic stress in childhood, it can be an ongoing process of learning how to actually accept yourself.
> 
> ...


What about people with PTSD?
Do they even have any chances at all, learning to appreciate themselves?


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## Surly Wurly (May 9, 2015)

JTHearts said:


> you people need to come to any Walmart in Tennessee and look at all the couples. Seriously. If you don't believe you can get a girl after that, I'm not sure what will convince you.


yeah tbh i dont get what this thread is about at all, obviously not everyone is good looking and people still couple up just the same


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## Boby89 (Nov 28, 2015)

Sorry guys but I couldn't help but giggle at many of the posts here. All this negativity.
Ok let me give you a story to at least make you feel better, hopefully. 

In college I had this classmate, he was one ugly dude. Asymmetric face, big ears, a couple of scars on the face but what really bothered me was that he also was one dirty mofo. He was smelly, probably showered once a month, he barely changed his clothes and not to mention he was smoking adding even more to the smelly factor. Basically if I didn't knew him I would've easily confuse him with a hobo. Despite all that the dude had a girlfriend, good looking one mind you and more friends then I ever had in a life time maybe. Also trust me, this ain't the first and only case I ever seen.

Looking good doesn't make girls jump on you and even less to keep them around. I personally consider myself decent looking and I'm not drowning in pu$$y, far from it. Also I know good looking guys who haven't had a girlfriend in years or guys who have looks and charisma and can get any girl they want but have problems keeping them around.


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## Chelsalina (Oct 15, 2014)

Good looking guys will definitely grab a girl's attention more and are more likely to get a date online but honestly I've had crushes on guys who I thought were extremely hot, then I'd have a conversation with them or eavesdrop on their conversation and I'd just think to myself, "Wow, this guy has no personality" or "What a douche bag", etc. I know this sounds quite stuck up, but there were guys at my school who I thought weren't good enough for me because their looks were average or below. But I got to know one of these guys and man he was hilarious, charming, intelligent, and confident; he immediately went from a 5 to a 9.5 (he was a Michigan fan). I would rather date him than any of the hot guys at my school. 

Pretty boys tend to think that they're all set because of their looks so they never work on their personality. Yeah they might get with a lot of girls in high school and sleep with a bunch of chicks in college but once they reach their late 20's all the girls are going to flock to the guys who are settled down with life and have good personalities. 

I'd rather get with an ugly guy with a good personality than a hot guy with no personality any day.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Orbiter said:


> What about people with PTSD?
> Do they even have any chances at all, learning to appreciate themselves?


I think that PTSD works the same way.

Different people, different severity of events, different strength of willpower, different cultural or childhood upbringing.

Some people will go through their whole lives thinking they are pieces of sh*t.

My uncle being one of them.

He was physically beaten when he was younger and he was not raised with a whole lot of self-confidence instilled in him. He paid for his foreigner wife and now they have kids together.

His struggles, his severe OCD, intricate way of parenting....

My my my. I can't say much more on that just some people were not destined to be parents.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

Personality and social skills are underrated. Shy guys never finish first because of it. How can a girl ever get to know you if you never talk to her? Unless you're a super attractive guy, otherwise you need to get over your nerves.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

calichick said:


> That's because the nerves which are connected to your vision or your perception of your physical self are also correlated with the neurological component of cognition.
> 
> For those of us with more chronic psychological issues like low self-esteem or have had traumatic stress in childhood, it can be an ongoing process of learning how to actually accept yourself.


That could be some of it, but I meant more like beard stubble vs a full on bush.. Dark circles under the eyes, even things like a sore back or shoulders..


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