# Who Pays For Dinner On A Date?



## Jamipat (Dec 2, 2011)

Hey Guys;

Well, I know this may sound odd, but you know how now it is all about equality and stuff, I want to get your views on dates and who pays for the dinner/meal. =P

Do you pay for your share, split it 50/50 or does the guy pay for it all?


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

I only had two dates. On the first date he paid for everything, I did offer to pay. On the second date he paid for food and drinks and I paid for the movie.
I don't expect the guy to pay, especially not when I asked him out. But I liked it that he paid. It's not about the money, but it makes me feel like he think I'm worth it. So I like it when the guy pays on the first date. But further dates it can be that he pays for this and then I pay for that.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

I think whoever did the inviting. But still, sometimes dutch is better. IDK, depends I guess. Like the first time I was ever asked out I payed for myself, even though it was just a milkshake. But I'm broke atm so I can't really pay for myself if the opportunity arises.


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## 9mm (Feb 12, 2013)

The man, of course. Why? Well, there really isn't any rational reason. But if a guy doesn't pay for the first date, he shouldn't expect to be going on a second date.


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## mooncake (Jan 29, 2008)

I (because I'm a dope) accidentally clicked on 'I'm a girl and the guy pays for half the meal' but I meant to choose 'I'm a girl and the guy pays for his share'. I'd only really feel comfortable if each person pays for what they eat, or I suppose just splitting it 50/50 is OK if each person's expenditure is roughly the same. I guess I'd be OK with one person footing the entire bill one time, if it was an 'I pay this time, you next' type deal.

I'd feel awkward with anything different. Don't really understand why some people would think they're entitled to get their share paid for. I'd feel as though I had to get the cheapest thing on the menu if that happened to me, and I like my food! I suppose I can see how it might be considered polite for a person who instigated a date to offer to pay, but I personally would refuse to let them.


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

Whoever setup the date, as Baguette said.

It wouldn't make much sense to pay for a date that someone else asked you to go on.

_"Hey John, wanna buy me lunch this Thursday?"_


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

The guy.
I've tried to pay on dates before, and was told not to lol.

Even though I've heard guys (especially on SAS) complaining about having to be the one to pay on dates, I feel like being the one to pay gives the man some power in a sense. Do any guys agree with that? Like if the girl paid on a date, or even if the girl made a lot more money than you, would you feel less powerful or manly?


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

mezzoforte said:


> The guy.
> I've tried to pay on dates before, and was told not to lol.
> 
> Even though I've heard guys (especially on SAS) complaining about having to be the one to pay on dates, I feel like being the one to pay gives the man some power in a sense. Do any guys agree with that? Like if the girl paid on a date, or even if the girl made a lot more money than you, would you feel less powerful or manly?


If a girl expected me to pay, I wouldn't feel "powerful", I'd feel I'm being taken advantage of.

If I have to pay for a girl's time, I'll go get myself a prostitute: at least it'll be worth it.


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## life01 (Feb 20, 2013)

mezzoforte said:


> The guy.
> I've tried to pay on dates before, and was told not to lol.
> 
> Even though I've heard guys (especially on SAS) complaining about having to be the one to pay on dates, I feel like being the one to pay gives the man some power in a sense. Do any guys agree with that? Like if the girl paid on a date, or even if the girl made a lot more money than you, would you feel less powerful or manly?


Thanks for considering our feelings and making us feel powerful lol
i personally wouldnt feel less powerful or manly if a woman made more money than me


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

mezzoforte said:


> I feel like being the one to pay gives the man some power in a sense.


It's true.

The other day I was waiting in line at Tim Hortons, and this cute chick in front of me was buying some coffee. So I shoved her out of the way and slammed a Hamilton on the table, shouting "Nonsense! I'll pay!" Suddenly I went supersayain and everyone in line started bowing down to me. I promptly whistled for my horse and rode out of the place throwing lightning bolts everywhere.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

Rainbat said:


> Whoever setup the date, as Baguette said.
> 
> It wouldn't make much sense to pay for a date that someone else asked you to go on.
> 
> _"Hey John, wanna buy me lunch this Thursday?"_


Well since men almost always have to do the initiating, that is a convenient way of saying "men can pay for all the dates". The best way, is you each pay your own way or 50/50 so that the date isn't about paying for a service.


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

Noca said:


> Well since men almost always have to do the initiating, that is a convenient way of saying "men can pay for all the dates". The best way, is you each pay your own way so that the date isn't about paying for a service.


It's about treating the person to something.

If I hang out with a male co-worker and buy him a beer or a meal I don't get all flustered and grumpy if he doesn't put out afterwards.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Rainbat said:


> It's true.
> 
> The other day I was waiting in line at Tim Hortons, and this cute chick in front of me was buying some coffee. So I shoved her out of the way and slammed a Hamilton on the table, shouting "Nonsense! I'll pay!" Suddenly I went supersayain and everyone in line started bowing down to me. I promptly whistled for my horse and rode out of the place throwing lightning bolts everywhere.


Sorry, it was just an idea.


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## Otherside (Jun 8, 2012)

I suppose who ever asked the other out on a date...girl or guy. I mean, it's a bit rich to ask a guy out on a date and then drop it on him that he's gonna be paying?!


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## OutOfControlPanel (Jul 14, 2012)

Who pays if:

-the man was the one to ask the woman out

*BUT*

-she makes *considerably* more money than he does?

It would seem kind of odd to me to say, "Yeah, I make 100K a year, and he makes 30K, but I still expect him to pay for the meal."

Ah, the mysteries of life.


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## Astraia (Mar 24, 2013)

Who ever sets up the date should probably be the one paying, they are after all inviting you out. I mean, it's different if it's more of a just hanging out together thing, but if a guy asks me out on an actual date, I'd expect him to pay, just as I would expect to pay myself if I ask someone else out on a date.


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

mezzoforte said:


> Sorry, it was just an idea.


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## Donnie in the Dark (Mar 15, 2011)

If you specifically invite someone else, you might treat them. If you are together and agree on a meal together it should be half and half. Gender should never enter into it.


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## mooncake (Jan 29, 2008)

No one, do a runner.


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## LorenLuke (Jan 3, 2011)

There's no hard and fast rule for all situations, but in my case it's the first person who can get their card out fastest... I just tend to win at that one.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

I make the girl pay, and if she doesn't want to or have money, I put her back on the streets afterwards to make up for what I lost.


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## Implicate (Feb 1, 2011)

I haven't dated in the classic sense in a while now, but when I did I always felt weird about not paying. The guys always insisted, and I felt it rude to disallow that.


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## Limmy (Feb 15, 2013)

Why isnt there an option for girls 2 pay 4 the entire meal :c


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## Soilwork (May 14, 2012)

I can't believe some guys have actually voted for the "guy pays it all" option. It's like Turkeys voting for Christmas.

Men should make it quite clear that they expect their date to cough up for their own share, even on a first date. Until this happens men are going to continually be exploited by chancers and hypocrites.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

Whoever has less worth as a human being should pay in order to compensate the more valuable person for the privilege of their presence.


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## enfield (Sep 4, 2010)

basuraeuropea.


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## 9mm (Feb 12, 2013)

TPower said:


> If a girl expected me to pay, I wouldn't feel "powerful", I'd feel I'm being taken advantage of.
> 
> If I have to pay for a girl's time, I'll go get myself a prostitute: at least it'll be worth it.


Couldn't have said it better myself


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## HitGirl (Mar 12, 2013)

TPower said:


> If a girl expected me to pay, I wouldn't feel "powerful", I'd feel I'm being taken advantage of.
> 
> If I have to pay for a girl's time, *I'll go get myself a prostitute*: *at least it'll be worth *it.





9mm said:


> *Couldn't have said it better myself*


Which is why you guys have limited dating success. You're only thinking about yourselves and what's under your belts...


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## BillDauterive (Oct 24, 2012)

Ape in space said:


> Whoever has less worth as a human being should pay in order to compensate the more valuable person for the privilege of their presence.


So in other words, the man will always keep paying for the woman? LOL.
======================================================================

Now If I were ever to go on a date (which I never have, sigh), I'd have us both split our meals personally. Or have her pay for all of it one time and myself the next time. I wouldn't be paying for all her expenses, that is for sure. We're both going to be equal as possible.


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## talcina (Nov 25, 2009)

This thread is a great example of why I hate dating.


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## creasy (Oct 29, 2012)

Well I don't think there's some "right" way to do it.

I like a girl who lets me pay for the date, it makes me feel dependable and more masculine. I don't care about any "equality" bull****. If she wants to pay, then whatever, but it'll turn me off.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Dude should pay. I can understand cheap guys not wanting to pay though.


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## talcina (Nov 25, 2009)

creasy said:


> Well I don't think there's some "right" way to do it.
> 
> I like a girl who lets me pay for the date, it makes me feel dependable and more masculine. I don't care about any "equality" bull****. If she wants to pay, then whatever, but it'll turn me off.


This is the vibe I get from most men. Even friends sometimes.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

HitGirl said:


> Which is why you guys have limited dating success. You're only thinking about yourselves and what's under your belts...


So expecting a guy to pay your way isn't only thinking about yourself?


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## 9mm (Feb 12, 2013)

nubly said:


> Dude should pay. I can understand cheap guys not wanting to pay though.


Oh, but a woman not paying is not cheap?


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

9mm said:


> Oh, but a woman not paying is not cheap?


 No.


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## BillDauterive (Oct 24, 2012)

nubly said:


> No.


Why the double-standards?


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Rahul87 said:


> Why the double-standards?


 I like traditions.


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## 9mm (Feb 12, 2013)

nubly said:


> I like traditions.


Such traditions are completely obsolete in today's society. There's no logical reason to continue with them.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

I think it's fine for the man to pay on the first date. But once you're into a relationship it makes more sense for both people to take turns or split the bill when you go out.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

9mm said:


> Such traditions are completely obsolete in today's society. There's no logical reason to continue with them.


Why?


arnie said:


> I think it's fine for the man to pay on the first date. But once you're into a relationship it makes more sense for both people to take turns or split the bill when you go out.


:yes The majority if the time I pay but my girlfriend will pay as well.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

9mm said:


> Such traditions are completely obsolete in today's society. There's no logical reason to continue with them.


Because of feminism. Women have equal rights and now and can make equal money. It used to make sense that the man always had to pay when women didn't have any money, but that's not true anymore.


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## GameOverMan (Mar 11, 2013)

Meh, I prefer to rotate or just do what feels right in the situation...thus...I did not vote.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

The guy usually but it doesnt really matter. If you make a big deal about who pays you're a ****ing idiot.


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## StNaive (Feb 21, 2013)

I'd say whoever asked the other person out should pay for the first date but after that they should just split it 50/50. Unless one person actually says they want to pay. Then obviously they should cover it.


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## 9mm (Feb 12, 2013)

nubly said:


> Why?


Remember when women used to stay in the house for the most part and did not have their own money- so when the man was courting the woman he was obligated to pay for everything since he had a job and means to money that she didn't? This no longer exists in today's society, so the ritual of men paying for everything is no longer necessary.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

Gender roles suck. If she wants to go with gender roles, then be sure to play the entire roll, including washing my dishes, doing laundry, cooking. Sorry, I wouldn't want to treat a person like that, I'd rather have an equal.

Entitlement never leads to gratitude.


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## 9mm (Feb 12, 2013)

Quite frankly, dating is simply a polite version of soliciting sex. If a man visits a prostitute, he pays for the "services". 

A guy meets an attractive girl, the girl has been socialized she shouldn't "give it up" too soon, so the guy wines-and-dines her until she feels it's socially acceptable to fornicate with him. 

That's why guys pay for dates...It's that simple!


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

dunno, its not gender specific. either the rich one or the non-unemployed one or the one with the greatest willpower (or least willpower depending how it goes down).

we take turns.

i guess first date either you go to pay or they do, and the other says they'll pay next time. totally depends on the context/how traditional you think someone is/how much you like someone/how casual you are/anything.

its actually sexist to say guys/girls should pay isn't it?


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

arnie said:


> Because of feminism. Women have equal rights and now and can make equal money. It used to make sense that the man always had to pay when women didn't have any money, but that's not true anymore.


but if you like a bit of a girly girl, or expect them to wear makeup (and they do) - if in return they expect you to pay, you better make sure you do.


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## sansd (Mar 22, 2006)

I have no opinion on whether guys "should" pay in general, but if someone wants me to do something that costs money with them and I am not otherwise planning on doing that thing (and don't know yet whether I want to spend time with this person), they are probably going to have to pay in order to get me to do it.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Didn't we already have this discussion recently?


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## James_Russell (Aug 26, 2011)

9mm said:


> The man, of course. Why? Well, there really isn't any rational reason. But if a guy doesn't pay for the first date, he shouldn't expect to be going on a second date.





9mm said:


> Quite frankly, dating is simply a polite version of soliciting sex. If a man visits a prostitute, he pays for the "services".
> 
> A guy meets an attractive girl, the girl has been socialized she shouldn't "give it up" too soon, so the guy wines-and-dines her until she feels it's socially acceptable to fornicate with him.
> 
> That's why guys pay for dates...It's that simple!












SAS neckbeards giving dating advice again. Facepalm


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

9mm said:


> That's why guys pay for dates...It's that simple!


And I reiterate, it's easy to see why you guys can't find a partner.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

I voted the first option, but I'm really not sexist. If I went on a date with a guy I'd still pick up the tab.


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## HitGirl (Mar 12, 2013)

TPower said:


> So expecting a guy to pay your way isn't only thinking about yourself?


You need to read back what you wrote.


> If a girl expected me to pay, I wouldn't feel "powerful", I'd feel I'm being taken advantage of.
> 
> If I have to pay for a girl's time, *I'll go get myself a prostitute*: *at least it'll be worth *it.


Basiclly you're saying that if you're not getting sex out of the date, then it's not "worth it". You're supposed to be asking a girl on a date because you want to spend more time with her, not because you want to get in her pants.

And I get that most of the guys here are unemployed because of SA, but if you can't even pay for the date that _*you*_ asked her on and you expect an "after party", then why should a woman even bother?


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Sacrieur said:


> I voted the first option, but I'm really not sexist. If I went on a date with a guy I'd still pick up the tab.


 In your homosexual dates, the guy always pays!


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

LorenLuke said:


> There's no hard and fast rule for all situations, but in my case it's the first person who can get their card out fastest... I just tend to win at that one.


This should have been an option. In reality, my friends and I generally split bills I assume I would do the same with dating. Or take turns paying (when restaurants won't split bills and you are vacationing together this approach is sometimes just less stress).



Ape in space said:


> Whoever has less worth as a human being should pay in order to compensate the more valuable person for the privilege of their presence.


Haha, well I hope you were joking. No one is worth less or more as a human being my dear. We are all at our cores equal.



creasy said:


> Well I don't think there's some "right" way to do it.
> 
> I like a girl who lets me pay for the date, it makes me feel dependable and more masculine. I don't care about any "equality" bull****. If she wants to pay, then whatever, but it'll turn me off.


 See then you have the opposite the guys who feel like a girl is taking advantage of them. Which is why If I ever do have a date, unless it is something cheap like a regular coffee, or a macdonalds ice cream cone I'm probably going to pay for it myself.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Rainbat said:


> It's true.
> 
> The other day I was waiting in line at Tim Hortons, and this cute chick in front of me was buying some coffee. So I shoved her out of the way and slammed a Hamilton on the table, shouting "Nonsense! I'll pay!" Suddenly I went supersayain and everyone in line started bowing down to me. I promptly whistled for my horse and rode out of the place throwing lightning bolts everywhere.


I lolled. But in fairness to Mezzoforte, some guys are still old fashioned like that.


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## HitGirl (Mar 12, 2013)

James_Russell said:


> SAS neckbeards giving dating advice again. Facepalm


Made my day lol


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## That random dude (Dec 21, 2012)

I hate feeling feeling like I'm broke so I would definitely pay, not like I'd eat half as much as I usually do as I'd be way to nervous.


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