# Getting tongue-tied, forgetting words



## paintgirl (Mar 7, 2013)

I have a pretty good control of language when I'm writing but when I'm talking or nervous, I get tongue-tied, my grammar does out the window and I forget words. This makes me sound dumb, which makes me nervous, which makes me want to avoid talking to people. It's a vicious cycle really. 

Anyone else experience this?


----------



## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

It's a pretty common symptom of social anxiety. I definitely experience this. I once said "Thank you" when someone sneezed instead of "Bless you" lol. My class presentations were always worse than everyone else's because I couldn't speak correctly.


----------



## paintgirl (Mar 7, 2013)

Oh I didn't know that! That makes me feel better. Once it got so bad that someone asked me if I was from this country.


----------



## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

I can relate 100%.


----------



## loophole (Apr 15, 2012)

klonopins, lamictal, seroquel.... i have a hard time remembering what was said two days ago let alone speaking a complete sentence clearly...... sux (relate entirely... i have to use google calendar as much as possible on my phone to keep track of as many things as possible


----------



## Shirotora (Aug 19, 2013)

Sounds like me. I wish it didn't happen but I can't do much about it. Well klonopin or alcohol can calm me down and help me but I still have a hard time in a conversation. :/


----------



## h00dz (Dec 25, 2012)

Oh my lord yes...relating to this.


----------



## lzzy (Nov 28, 2012)

Yup I can definitely relate to this, I start to talk a lot faster when I feel anxious and start stumbling like crazy, in any language.


----------



## juki89 (Aug 21, 2013)

I hate this so much! And on top of getting tongue tied, my mind will also blank because I'm nervous that my words are not coming out right. And if it can get any worse (and it does) I'm soft spoken, and when nervous, my voice drops even lower:z uggggg


----------



## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

Yep can relate too. If typing on a computer I use a wide range of vocabulary. 

Then as soon as i'm talking to someone I don't know, I muddle up word's, Often I have to keep correcting myself. Makes me look so stupid and after they go I think of loads of things I could of said to them and start kicking myself


----------



## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

All the time.


----------



## JoeC (Dec 11, 2013)

Yes, I can relate to this. I consider myself to be very articulate... in writing.  

But, when it comes to trying to speak, especially with someone I'm not very close to, or sharing in a meeting at work, I get very tongue-tied and have a hard time continuing my thought. 

I see a psychiatrist. He was the first to show me that this had something to do with anxiety -- that frustration when you can't remember a simple word. That's a common example that almost everyone can relate to, but it's debilitating when it happens during every conversation. It could partly be an introverted/personality thing - slow to trust others -- our own ideas being questionable. I speak like I write, always trying to edit my last sentence, but it comes out all jumbled.

I also often say equivalent "opposite" of what I meant to say, even to my wife. Perhaps I second guess myself so much that it has become hard-wired into my brain. 

I'm involved in ToastMasters and regularly have "pregnant pauses" in my "Table Topics" (or, impromptu) speeches. I still get nervous about TM and worried that it's all gonna go very wrong. 

All of this is very embarrassing, because I, like most people, don't want to be written off as stupid. But, in obsessing about projecting an ideal "image" of myself, I'm get stuck in life. I must continue on, facing my fears. It's the only way we can grow.


----------



## EccentricCat (Dec 8, 2013)

paintgirl said:


> I have a pretty good control of language when I'm writing but when I'm talking or nervous, I get tongue-tied, my grammar does out the window and I forget words. This makes me sound dumb, which makes me nervous, which makes me want to avoid talking to people. It's a vicious cycle really.
> 
> Anyone else experience this?


I forget or use the wrong words and then the people around me feels the need to correct me and I feel like an idiot. When I do speak, I feel my mental self telling me to shut-it, because I sound stupid. Even after having a conversation with someone, I would later wish I could go back and tell myself not to say anything and I would wonder if what I said sounded even remotely intelligent.

Another part to this is, when I was taking classes I hated going to lecture. When my anxiety raised, my concentration lowered and nothing the professor or the students around me would register. I could hear them talking, but they might as well have been talking through a pillow. I still have no idea how I managed to graduate.


----------



## mdiada (Jun 18, 2012)

This is me all day long and then some. It is very annoying because i am actually quite intelligent, but my anxiety messes it up and i sound like a complete idiot. This is one reason i stay quiet.


----------



## Melissa42 (Dec 19, 2013)

Oh my... Sounds just like me. I think of myself as somewhat intelligent as well, and yet I cannot hold a complete conversation with someone without messing up big time. Makes it difficult in my career.


----------



## MuckyMuck (Oct 15, 2013)

Oh mother of mercy yeah, like most people mentioned, im fairly intelligent but when im nervous i come across like i have a problem. I actually mixed up words and letters in such a way that it would be hard to do it if you sat down and tried it intentionally.

I also always mishear people and go off in a complete different direction with the conversation as a result, ending up with an awkward and confused silence usually.

This is the worse, i was fixing something for a neighbor a few weeks ago and she asked "_Would i like a cup of tea_", but i thought she said "_Would you like to come with me_". She was much much older so nothing sexual came into my head, instead i simply thought she wanted to show me something so i said "_Alright_" and stood up and walked over to her. We were just standing there in the most awkward silence ever, it was getting weird when she finally asked "_Are you ok_?" and being completely baffled i just said "_Yeah...eh...did you not want to show me something?_", she replied "_Em...no, i only asked did you want some tea".
_
I never felt as stupid in my whole life. I have a knack for getting into these situations but i always end up looking back at it and laughing about it with my brothers.


----------



## Slogger (Dec 14, 2010)

I can relate! During my weekly meeting with my boss, he was telling me about how his kids were home from college for Christmas break. I said, "It must be nice to have those home for awhile." Like they were some sort of inanimate objects, not beloved children. Very flustrating!!


----------



## flower2blossom (Apr 12, 2009)

EccentricCat said:


> Another part to this is, when I was taking classes I hated going to lecture. When my anxiety raised, my concentration lowered and nothing the professor or the students around me would register. I could hear them talking, but they might as well have been talking through a pillow. I still have no idea how I managed to graduate.


This was me when I was in grad school. I often couldn't comprehend what the professor was saying in class. I thought I had a problem hearing but realized it was due to my anxiety.


----------



## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Same here.


----------



## Kalliber (Aug 18, 2012)

I hate that...my accent makes it worse lol


----------



## Stormclouds (Mar 8, 2011)

Definitely can relate to this. When I have to speak to people other than my own family, I stammer, blush, my mind goes blank, and I feel like an imbecile. People probably get the impression that I'm simple-minded, when I'm actually as smart as, if not smarter than, they are. It's even worse when you have to speak a foreign language. I lived in Germany for a long time, and that feeling was multiplied times ten when I had to speak German. So, I got to feel like an idiot in two languages :lol


----------



## teopap (May 12, 2013)

Same here ... I guess people think that I am a foreigner or something. I think of 2 words and convert them to one word, I prefer making short sentences and avoid talking about long stories, I face big trouble sometimes to put the words out of my mouth correctly and maybe I stutter sometimes.Like Muckymuch, I mishear people and the results is often an epic awkward moment.


----------



## Aimforthestars (May 8, 2013)

Yes, definitely. I have a tendency to stutter a lot when I'm anxious, too. I NEVER had that growing up, it's a more recent symptom that developed with the SA.


----------



## Lacking Serotonin (Nov 18, 2012)

Happens everyday, no matter how much practice I get it never fails. I sound dumber than what I really am.


----------



## Bert Reynolds (Dec 18, 2013)

Just posted something on this without noticing the topic was already mentioned. I get the same thing and can't snap out of it. I'm starting to think it's more than just a symptom of SA. It's so humiliating I can't even speak my own language normally.


----------



## Bert Reynolds (Dec 18, 2013)

JoeC said:


> I speak like I write, always trying to edit my last sentence, but it comes out all jumbled.


Same with me. I'm a good writer but it takes me a while to write out what I actually want to write about after editing over and over...I suppose this is the same case with my talking. Unfortunately we don't have enough time to pick out all of our ideas, put them into words, and put the words into a fluent, well-thought out sentence. Our words are rather spontaneous and therefore inaccurate to what we really mean. Some people are quick and witty and have the ability to these things on the spot but for others, especially for us SA people, it doesn't come too easily - or hardly comes at all. :blank


----------

