# boys :(



## orchdorch925 (Aug 26, 2010)

arOk, so earlier this month, I met a guy at my college dance. We exchanged phone numbers and added each other on Facebook. We hung out twice and have texted each other a few times. I'm thinking of inviting him to go to the movies with my friends and I this Friday, but I feel it's too forward. I also don't have any clue whether or not he likes me or thinks I'm just a friend. I wish I could just have no anxiety and talk to him with confidence, but, sadly, I don't. I am just so frustrated because I've never been in this situation before because I date friends and friends of friends. This is totally new to me... :afr


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## markx (Dec 22, 2007)

Too forward...? Hmm, what century is this?  If you've hung out and texted him already, I'd say it's not too forward at all. The "with my friends" part might confuse him, but give it a try - what's the worst that can happen?

(Easy for me to say, I know)


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## alex999 (Oct 21, 2008)

Speaking from the perspective of most guys, I would be flattered if a girl asked me out. He's hung out with you twice so he must enjoy your company. He may be afraid to ask you out as well. The ONLY way you can find out is just to ask him. Again speaking for most guys, I'd almost guarantee he'd say yes.


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

Ask him to go with you. :yes The fact that it's a group thing could be a good way to get to know him better in a low pressure situation. If all goes well, then ask him to go out with you solo next time.


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## Chris2012 (Sep 5, 2010)

alex999 said:


> Speaking from the perspective of most guys, I would be flattered if a girl asked me out. He's hung out with you twice so he must enjoy your company. He may be afraid to ask you out as well. The ONLY way you can find out is just to ask him. Again speaking for most guys, I'd almost guarantee he'd say yes.


No no... most guys wouldn't be flattered. If we don't like you, we will run like hell.

But if he does like you... that's a whole new story.


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## Lonely Hobbit (Aug 31, 2009)

He should be asking you out, not the other way around.


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## Johnny_Genome (Nov 11, 2003)

There are no rules -- just ask him. There is nothing wrong with wanting to get to know someone. Nothing wrong with inviting a guy to a group outing. I think people in general over-think the whole 'friend or more' thing or 'date or just hanging out' thing. If you enjoy each other's company then you guys will figure out the rest.


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## Lonely Hobbit (Aug 31, 2009)

Johnny_Genome said:


> There are no rules -- just ask him.


If he's interested in her and has courage, he'll ask her out.

_*edited for content* - MM75_


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## zocr4t3z (Nov 18, 2010)

so why am i stupid?


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## mind_games (Nov 30, 2008)

zocr4t3z said:


> so why am i stupid?


*[Let's not start this up again. This is not a gender debate. It is clear from the context of the OP that she is talking about one particular guy and she isn't even implying that he is stupid.

Any further posts that attempt to instigate or continue conflict will be removed.

edit: thread title edited.]*


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

I wonder how many people aren't together right now because neither party will make a move.


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## GoGreenLuvTYT (Oct 29, 2010)

so make him a friend first & see how it goes...no prob  Im the same way with dating so I know how that goes...


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## Christa25 (Oct 2, 2010)

Just Lurking said:


> I wonder how many people aren't together right now because neither party will make a move.


I've always been the girl to ask a guy out. I'm not afraid of it at all. If he wants to, he'll say yes. If he doesn't want to, then he'll say no and at least I'm not left wondering what if...
I'm a pretty forward person, not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing... heh.


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## JFmtl (Dec 23, 2008)

Christa25 said:


> I've always been the girl to ask a guy out. I'm not afraid of it at all. If he wants to, he'll say yes. If he doesn't want to, then he'll say no and at least I'm not left wondering what if...
> I'm a pretty forward person, not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing... heh.


I think being forward is usually more often a good thing than a bad thing (i wish i was a forward person lol). As you said, you wont be left wondering "what if" like you may end up if you just sit down and hope that he _somehow_ understand you might be interested and then asks you out.

I think in 2010, the majority of guys dont mind if a girl makes a move and asks out. Sure, a small minority of backward, ultra-traditional and conservatives people might not like it, but as it has been said, most guys will be flattered, even if they are not interested.


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## Attica! Attica! (Oct 8, 2008)

UGH!! I hate to think of how close my relationship came to not happening! he was too shy to make a move, even though we both liked each other. So it came down to me to make the first move, and we've been together for a year and a half! DO IIIITTT! do it now! (I know its freaking scary)


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## orchdorch925 (Aug 26, 2010)

ok, so I asked him to go see a movie with some friends and I, but it turned out that he already made plans to see that movie with his family. I don't know what I'm gunna do now....  What do people do to hang out besides the mall or hanging out at one another's houses? :/


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

You could invite him to see a different movie with you, or out to get coffee, or lunch.


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## orchdorch925 (Aug 26, 2010)

I like that plan. I dunno about lunch because our class schedules are so different, but maybe another movie... does it mean that he doesn't like me when he doesn't initiate any texts or anything? or have I just taken the reigns and he's letting me lead?


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## orchdorch925 (Aug 26, 2010)

mind_games said:


> *[Let's not start this up again. This is not a gender debate. It is clear from the context of the OP that she is talking about one particular guy and she isn't even implying that he is stupid.*
> 
> *Any further posts that attempt to instigate or continue conflict will be removed.*
> 
> *edit: thread title edited.]*


yeah, sorry about that, amo.


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

orchdorch925 said:


> yeah, sorry about that, amo.


He's not Amo!


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

Socially Anxious said:


> He should be asking you out, not the other way around.


Not true. Girls can ask guys out.

If she wants to go to the movies with him then she should ask him.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Socially Anxious said:


> He should be asking you out, not the other way around.


Have we gone back in time to 1810?

Are you seriously suggesting that two people who might be a great match should avoid dating based upon some archaic rule about gender roles? Traditionally, men ask women out. Of course that tradition dates back to a time when women couldn't vote nor own property and they sat around waiting for gentlemen callers approved by their daddy to court them.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

Well, I think that every boy is an intellectual. And ALL girls have big brains. That's just my opinion. Actually, it's a fact! As in my opinions are facts in my mind! I pay rent there, there better damn well be facts!

Why am I scared to post on this forum? Do you like me? I guess...


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## orchdorch925 (Aug 26, 2010)

I do like you, mercury! And I think I'm just gunna wait a bit and try to catch him at school. I'm being very impatient so I'm gunna try to be patient which isn't easy :/


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## Emptyheart (Sep 15, 2009)

It's not forward at all..go for it!


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## mind_games (Nov 30, 2008)

Drive by his place and chuck a stone at his window and yell, "Get in the car Laurence!! I'm taking you to the movies dammit!!" That's how I'd want it done to me. Also, wear a lab coat.

But seriously I agree with EmptyHeart et al I don't think you are being too forward. Good luck


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## orchdorch925 (Aug 26, 2010)

mind games, if you lived close to me and I knew where you lived, I'd totally do that! lol


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Just Lurking said:


> I wonder how many people aren't together right now because neither party will make a move.


Yeah, right...

If you truly want something then go for it!


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## iamthespider (Nov 24, 2010)

Might be too forward if you are like "let's go to my place and ****." Actually, that would be awesome and he'd probably assume you're kidding. But anyway, you're just asking him to a movie.

Also, college dance? What?


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## orchdorch925 (Aug 26, 2010)

so, to sum up everyone, with the exception of those who think that it's the man's job to ask the girl out, the basic message to me is SUCK IT UP AND ASK HIM OUT!!
I think that I might just do it, but I'm so nervous!! :afr Stupid anxiety!! :bash <-- btw, love this smiley


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## mind_games (Nov 30, 2008)

Maybe get a friend to subtly plant the idea into his head that perhaps you like him and and see what his reaction/thoughts are.


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## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

orchdorch925 said:


> so, to sum up everyone, with the exception of those who think that it's the man's job to ask the girl out, the basic message to me is SUCK IT UP AND ASK HIM OUT!!
> I think that I might just do it, but I'm so nervous!! :afr Stupid anxiety!! :bash <-- btw, love this smiley


Oh boy, been there eek! But yeah, do it. I bet he'll say yes.


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## hiimnotcool (Apr 28, 2009)

Oh wow, a guy is ALWAYS flattered when a girl approaches him. Just go for it!


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## orchdorch925 (Aug 26, 2010)

what do I say? Should I do it via text or in person? Do I straight out say, "wanna go on a date sometime?" Do I try the more subtle "wanna see this movie with me sometime?" do I go up to him and start making out with him? (ok, no way that last one's gunna happen, just had to be funny here.) so what??? urgh!!:bash


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## Lonely Hobbit (Aug 31, 2009)

UltraShy said:


> Have we gone back in time to 1810?
> 
> Are you seriously suggesting that two people who might be a great match should avoid dating based upon some archaic rule about gender roles? Traditionally, men ask women out. Of course that tradition dates back to a time when women couldn't vote nor own property and they sat around waiting for gentlemen callers approved by their daddy to court them.


You have a greater chance of getting a girlfriend by approaching a woman than waiting for her to approach you. Go to the zoo and observe the animals. Watch how the male always approaches the female. If you don't like it, then tell the animals how sexist there are. :lol


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

^ Yep, basic instinct trumps a larger neocortex every time! 

Civilization? Society? Language? Reason?!!!! 

Oh, never mind.


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## mind_games (Nov 30, 2008)

Socially Anxious said:


> He should be asking you out, not the other way around.





Socially Anxious said:


> You have a greater chance of getting a girlfriend by approaching a woman than waiting for her to approach you. Go to the zoo and observe the animals. Watch how the male always approaches the female. If you don't like it, then tell the animals how sexist there are. :lol


This is all irrelevant. OP is a girl. At the end of the day the guy hasn't asked her (at least not yet). She isn't going to diminish her chances of getting a boyfriend by asking him out or at least trying to. In fact she is going to improve her chances.


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## orchdorch925 (Aug 26, 2010)

Mind Games, you're awesome!:squeeze And I dunno what to do still. I mean, I want to ask him out, but I'm just so worried! And I know I need to work on not worrying, but it's so hard when I fear that he'll not only reject me but will make me feel embarrassed for feeling that way. He hasn't asked me out and I don't know if it's that he's just as worried as me, or if I'm supposed to be taking the reins or what. I just wish I knew what was going on here!! grrrr!


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## pandabears (Oct 5, 2010)

YOU CAN DO IT, APPLES. 

maybe wait a few days and then ask if he wants to get coffee or something. if he says yes (which i'm sure he will, or he's an idiot), be like COOL WHAT DAY ARE YOU FREE?! (except don't yell it; i do that, and it hasn't gotten me very far.) that way, he'll have to give you a time that he's free. if you're busy, then....i don't know. i've never been busy in my life.


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## orchdorch925 (Aug 26, 2010)

ok, except I hate coffee. How about pizza? would that work?  I'm really pinning all my hopes and dreams on you good ppl, so don't fail me now


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## RyeCatcher86 (Sep 14, 2010)

^ I'd say yeah. But then, I loooooove pizza. :yes Just make sure the place you go to is neither seedy nor too fancy.


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## pandabears (Oct 5, 2010)

no, actually, if it's not coffee, then the magic isn't there.


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## woot (Aug 7, 2009)

Orch give him a call now, dont make haste now ya hear young lass?


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## orchdorch925 (Aug 26, 2010)

lol, well, I texted him, asking him if he wanted to go to a movie with me this week and he asked me when. I told him Friday or Saturday, but he hasn't gotten back to me yet. I can't believe I did it! And yes, this thread is basically a "get orch a date" thread, but I appreciate everyone's help!!


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## kreeper (May 21, 2008)

Nice job!  Now, to me it sounds like he's interested in you, but even if he says no, at least you know you've got the guts to ask a guy out, which can boost confidence even when rejection lowers it. But again, it sounds to me like you'll be seeing a movie this weekend.


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## pandabears (Oct 5, 2010)

YAY MOVIE DATE. maybe he'll try to grab your boob! fingers crossed!


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## kiirby (Oct 8, 2010)

UMMMM YOU SAID BOOB THAT'S NOT ALLOWED.


I'm telling.


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## pandabears (Oct 5, 2010)

i think kirby is boob deprived.


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## kiirby (Oct 8, 2010)

That the breast reply you could think of?


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## pandabears (Oct 5, 2010)

yes 
poor orch...the topic always ends up on boobs with me...so i'll shut up.


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## orchdorch925 (Aug 26, 2010)

thanks, beardo, I appreciate it. lol


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