# Anyone find 'being social' far too exhausting?



## LouAS (Jul 20, 2013)

I'm talking about just being around people, interacting just for a mere 30minutes. I find it is enormously exhausting mentally and I would prefer to run up a 350m hill 5km away (which I often do haha).

This is dominated by my social anxiety of course, but sometimes it's not and I cannot pin it. Anyway this is mainly why I enjoy the company of my thoughts more than other a lot of the time. It's not like I am left unable to socialise because of my SA, but I just find it too draining.

I would love to find out what others think


----------



## Empty7 (May 22, 2013)

People without social anxiety socialise because they enjoy doing it, and because of you social anxiety you don't feel so confortable with around people so you find it too draining and don't like doing it. Maybe you're like "I have to enjoy being with people because that's normal" but it's not normal, not for someone with social anxiety.

A few months back when I had a worse social anxiety I used to hate interacting with people because it drained me and made me feel exhausted too, but now after doing some cognitive behavorial therapy I only find it unconfortable from time to time and I can take it easily when I happens.


----------



## pansie707 (Jul 21, 2013)

I find it incredibly exhausting and nerve-racking. I get so upset that I said something wrong and it ruins my day. It gets me depressed, tired, mad, and all of the other crappy feelings.
And for a 15 year old girl to be saying this, when the "normal" girls are out partying and having fun with friends, its pretty sad. But then again, I will never be normal.


----------



## byzantinedreams (Aug 3, 2013)

Absolutely, I always feel insecure and inadequate when talking to people.


----------



## Bedouin (Aug 3, 2013)

Oh hell yes. Socialising is so predictable; dread before, enjoy during, wear out after a while, fatigued afterwards and looking for any way to be alone. Very frustrating when I get to the point where I've had enough and I end up beating a hasty retreat, looking strange to all who notice.

It's particularly bad when the person is intense or I don't know them. I am very subdued, so when someone is always being loud and making childish or uninteresting jokes it exhausts me in no time. The worst is when those two are combined, so there is someone who is not only a virtual stranger but is also very intense. This happens a lot at art exhibitions; I am from an artistic family so I have grown up to hate going to most exhibitions. Because they are exhausting.

Anyway yeah I would say though that if I am with a good friend who is not intense and we have known each other for a very long time I can stand spending days on end with them, in fact there is theoretically no limit. So it is not so much socialisation in general as just socialising with the majority of people.


----------



## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

I find it exhausting, but that's not what stops me from doing it. It's just not "me". I feel like I can't relate to most people, so trying to find things to talk to them about is difficult and feels fake. On the other hand though, I will admit I can be really clingy if I do find someone I like talking to.


----------



## always starting over (Mar 15, 2013)

Yeah it's mainly what drives me away from being social. Right around the 30 minute mark I get so impatient that I feel like I have to leave immediately. Doesn't matter if it's with family, either. I haaaaate that feeling.


----------



## low (Sep 27, 2009)

Yeah I get the burn out too. Huge conscious effort etc.


----------



## Letmebe (Dec 17, 2012)

Yes, it is exhausting I agree.


----------



## Miss Imaginary (Jul 4, 2012)

Yes. I just returned from a family wedding and although I didn't do too badly and even enjoyed myself at times I feel like I could sleep for a week!


----------



## Nono441 (May 14, 2012)

Yeah, I agree. A lot of the "normal" people get their energy from socializing. But introverts, and people with SA, actually spend energy trying to socialize, to varying degrees.

And, yes, when I try to socialize it goes on well for a while but at some point (usually a few hours later) something in my head goes wrong and I just shut down completely and desperately want to leave. It's really frustrating.


----------



## alonebutnotlonely (Aug 5, 2013)

LouAS said:


> I'm talking about just being around people, interacting just for a mere 30minutes. I find it is enormously exhausting mentally and I would prefer to run up a 350m hill 5km away (which I often do haha).
> 
> This is dominated by my social anxiety of course, but sometimes it's not and I cannot pin it. Anyway this is mainly why I enjoy the company of my thoughts more than other a lot of the time. It's not like I am left unable to socialise because of my SA, but I just find it too draining.
> 
> I would love to find out what others think


How did you get in my head?


----------



## Letmebe (Dec 17, 2012)

It is doubly so for me because I have to wear "masks" to socialize, when I wear them I seem "normal" and can interact with others but keeping them up is a energy drainer.

Though my masks work very well, so well almost no one realizes I have SA or PTSD unless a attack happens; they are double to triple the energy to maintain them than for many SA people just being around others.

Especially for long time periods.


----------



## sunlightruns (Jul 27, 2013)

it is pretty draining, actually.


----------



## Maere (Aug 8, 2013)

Similar to the answers above,* yes*. It is very exhausting but I also find it terrifying if I'm silent with another person. I literally *HAVE* to socialize in order to avoid that dreadful feeling.

It's hard to find someone to enjoy silence with really.


----------



## Unkn0wn Pleasures (Nov 24, 2011)

LouAS said:


> I'm talking about just being around people, interacting just for a mere 30minutes. I find it is enormously exhausting mentally and I would prefer to run up a 350m hill 5km away (which I often do haha).
> 
> *This is dominated by my social anxiety of course, but sometimes it's not and I cannot pin it*. Anyway this is mainly why I enjoy the company of my thoughts more than other a lot of the time. It's not like I am left unable to socialise because of my SA, but I just find it too draining.
> 
> I would love to find out what others think


I feel the same way. At times the reason I can't talk is not so much anxiety as exhaustion (from anxiety maybe?). It's odd.

Are you a very introverted person? Maybe that's part of it.


----------



## Glass Child (Feb 28, 2013)

I am excellent at talking. But yes, it is very tiring, and I do not say it to be insulting. It just is.

It complexes me that some people can go forever without exhaustion.


----------



## KelsKels (Oct 4, 2011)

I have a real hard time being around people for long periods of time. Especially if Im not close with those people. I had to go to a stupid fashion convention for school.. most of the girls from school came along and we all had to stay in a hotel room together for 3 nights. We had a suite but it wasn't fit for the 8 people that came. There were just 2 queens. To I was around them the entire time. The last night everyone bought alcohol and made a bunch of food. It was suppose to be a little party thing.. and I just couldn't stick around. I went to bed and just sat there by myself and listened to everyone for hours. I was so sick of being around everyone.. I had to be alone. Everyone thought I was weird and a part pooper. Eh whatever. But yeah, I definitely NEED to be alone sometimes. I cant even stay with my boyfriend for 3 days straight and not get kind of tired of being around him. Not that Im sick of him or anything.. I just feel like I have to be alone sometimes. Its refreshing and just nice.


----------



## Steinerz (Jul 15, 2013)

I can't stand more than 10 minutes really.


----------



## hilltozion (Aug 9, 2013)

It seems like there are certain norms that we have to follow in order to "be social".
But this isn't an easy task for everyone. I think that a lot of people are actually anxious or uneasy when it comes to socializing. New people, new ideas that may potentially hurt your own. Plus the small talk can be sort of bothersome sometimes lol


----------



## Lonely Tiger (Aug 8, 2013)

I do find it exhausting mentally sometimes, especially when the other person is quite as boring as you are. Sometimes though i think it's worth it because you just never know just by talking to someone it might manifest into something more, you could end up with a friend.


----------



## Scarlett0 (Jul 15, 2013)

Definitely. Especially when you're apparently not saying interesting and they're not making an effort to continue the conversation so you're left asking questions to which they answer with no enthusiasm. It's hell and such an awkward situation. 
Interested guys though will make the effort which I appreciate but when they're obviously just talking to you to try and go out with you, that's just annoying. Not all guys though, just the ones who say those cheesy lines and don't try to make a connection with you and instead ask just when you're free.

I haven't made a friend in a while... 
Good luck everyone...I suggest making friends with people with anxiety. Yet to meet one myself in real life


----------



## FunkyFedoras (Aug 30, 2013)

So exhausting.


----------



## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

Yyup...


----------



## Outofmycomfortzone (Sep 3, 2013)

That is basically the definition of Introversion.
Extroverts gain energy from social interaction while introverts expend energy.
They have to take a break from socializing to replenish their energy levels.

I'm the exact same way.


----------



## Cadenza (Aug 30, 2013)

Ntln said:


> I find it exhausting, but that's not what stops me from doing it. It's just not "me". I feel like I can't relate to most people, so trying to find things to talk to them about is difficult and feels fake. *On the other hand though, I will admit I can be really clingy if I do find someone I like talking to.*


This. If I socialise with people just for the sake of socialising, I find myself feeling bored and tired. But if I enjoy your company and like talking to you, I could go on for longer and sometimes get a little clingy/irritating.


----------



## Tinydancer20 (Jun 17, 2013)

Weird to say the only person that I can talk to without feeling like I am expending energy is my mom and some others in my family. Also my 2 friends.. but we don't even talk much anymore. With anyone I just met its usually a battle talking to them. I usually feel like they're labeling me and putting me into a box, like when they ask what I'm doing, going to school or whatever. It's like they're trying to come up with something to talk to you about. talking to people about what I do on a day to day basis is boring to me. It's not like I do anything that is so interesting or anything, as the majority of people don't really do that interesting things on a day to day basis anyway..


----------



## 16 Bit (Jan 26, 2013)

It's not all it's cracked up to be. All you need is a small handful of worthwhile friends, vs. a Facebook profile with 1000+ friends that you pretend they're your friends but are not in reality.


----------



## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Yes. I have to deal with a lot of people all day long at work and it drains me completely. I usually sleep for the rest of the day afterwords.


----------



## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

nope, i find it much more exhausting to be alone...


----------



## zanetti5243 (Jul 3, 2013)

I think it is because a lot of people (including myself) over-analyse and overthink every thing any body says in a social situation and then we have to come up with a response that is relevant, funny or intersting. It takes a massive toll mentally to try and comprehend all that information


----------



## Hiyah (Sep 3, 2013)

I agree. I find that when I'm at my University walking through the crowds makes me feel so self conscious and uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel like I can barely breathe. It's crazy. I don't know maybe it's because I'm introverted? I assume you are too. I guess being introverted causes you to lose energy just being around people for too long.


----------

