# roommate thinks I'm weird



## maritimemovie (Sep 13, 2013)

Before I started college, I really wanted to be BEST FRIENDS with my roommate. Her interests are so different from mine. I'm so awkward around her, and I think she picked that up because I don't think she likes me that much now. She totally thinks I'm weird, and a loser because I'm not going out to party like her, and never partied in HS (because my school never had those things). :doh


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

I've heard that a lot of people expect to be bffs with their roommate, but it rarely happens, so I think your situation is pretty normal. I can sympathise, I have three flatmates who are all partying types who socialise with each other and I mostly keep to myself


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## Shadowboy (Jun 12, 2013)

Hello. I don't think any human being has the right to call someone weird just because the person doesn't like crowded parties. Sometimes people use the differences as an excuse to keep the person away from themselves.

I might be wrong on this but when I hear someone doesn't go to parties so much I think the person might have a few intimate and healthy friendships which they love and care for. I consider it a good quality in a personality. If you're like that then it's excellent. I think your roommate is kinda lucky since you want to be best friends with her. It is a big loss for her if she refuse.

If she really doesn't want to be a close friend, I would say don't push so hard on that but don't severe your friendship either. There is always a chance that a person's attitude may get positive over the time.^^


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## Wulfgar (Aug 23, 2013)

in my experience, it doesnt take much for people to think you're weird then immedietly make up their mind about you, and dismiss you altogether....its happened to me time and time again even over the pettiest of things.


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## maritimemovie (Sep 13, 2013)

Thanks for the kind words, guys~
So our room has three people, including me. Let's call the roommate I'm talking about A and the other one B. A keeps on trying to exclude me like decorating the door while I was gone and not including my name. So I pointed it out when I saw it and B awkwardly added me on there. A's also trying to push me around by asking me to do stuff for her. 


There might be a small change that this could change later, but it doesn't seem that likely now. :bash


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## maritimemovie (Sep 13, 2013)

Oh, and B was decorating the door along with A while I was gone, I forgot to write that. 
... Oh well. x/
I asked them if they wanted to eat dinner tonight.


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## Greenleaf62 (Aug 1, 2013)

maritimemovie said:


> I asked them if they wanted to eat dinner tonight.


What did they say?


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## satyrinath (Jun 19, 2013)

I wouldn't be too worried about it. People these days will think someone's weird for countless reasons with the majority of those reasons being total bull****. What's weird to one person is normal to many people and vice versa.


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## Shadowboy (Jun 12, 2013)

If roommate A is being mean to you, I would say try to get better friends with roommate B who looks more understanding than the other. Roommate B might support you and ask A to change her behavior then.

I hope they accepted your invitation and everything went well for you.


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## peachkaleporkchop (Sep 24, 2013)

this sounds alot like my roommate situation when i was a freshman in college :/ 

i would say that you should be nice to A but quit giving her so much attention, try to be better friends with B, but honestly what i think has already happened is that A is naturally quite aggressive and has determined she likes B better than you for whatever reason, maybe their personalities are just more similar than yours or something, and B will accept her friendship because it is instant and easier, whereas maybe she feels like she doesn't know you as well, so naturally she will feel more friendly with A, and they will be good friends and leave you out of things. a dynamic of 3 girls just sucks.... the aggressor wins every time. :afr do your own thing, wait for them to get in some kind of fight, then be better friends with B maybe? or just forget them both. either way, and even if you got your wish and you were great friends with A and B, you should concentrate your energy on finding friends in your same classes moreso than just your roommates.

my situation was so similar to yours and it turned out horrible for me. my roommate was super hyper extroverted, and at first i was excited that we could be best friends and i hang with her and eventually be more like her (i have always been introverted but thought that being extroverted was the key to a million friends and happiness.) i was also pretty good friends with our next door neighbor, who wasnt as extroverted but was just normal, so i assumed i would have very good chances of making best friends with her too. after going to a couple parties together, where i was more like a wallflower and my roommate was the drunk life of the party sex kitten, she noticed the truth that i was an introverted nerd and started bullying me. at first it was little things like excluding me (we would usually eat breakfast or dinner together in the dorm cafe.. she would often get up to talk to someone and not return, or we would decide we would meet each other there at a certain time and she wouldnt show up). she got invited to more things and rubbed it in my face often.... when the 3 of us were out together in the dorm cafe she would 'nicely' try to humiliate me by making fun of things i said and did, and saying stuff like 'she never leaves our dormroom'. if i ever spoke up she turned it around to say 'cant you take a joke?'... so what ended up happening early on was that she and our neighbor, who was my original close friend, became very good friends since she was always going out to fun parties and eventually they joined a sorority together. i was heart broken. i hope this horror story doesnt happen to you, but it is a common girl dorm dynamic :/ by the time we returned from christmas break, i was like the dorm recluse. it seemed like everyone had already found their cliques and i was some kind of outcast. i did finally get the courage to confront my roommate after she made fun of me in public though. :clap it was very simple. we were all outside during a fire drill and again she was making fun of me to our neighbors about how i never leave the dorm and i said 'i dont party alot, not nearly as much as you, but i do leave the dorm. who cares anyway. you keep saying that and it hurts my feelings." this made it awkward for everyone around us and she was visibly uncomfortable. so it felt great saying that. she did her usual 'im just joking omg, someone has pms' and i said "you are acting hateful and you are hurting my feelings. ive never done anything to you". akward silence. she just stared at me. i turned around and waited at another entrance to get away from them. i know she probably said something after i left to make it seem like a joke, and she did not come back to our room until a few hours later. then she said i tried to humiliate her in front of everyone. i said are you kidding?? YOU humiliate me in front of everyone all the time. she said 'oh so that was payback?'.. i just said think about what you say about me, i have to study, leave me alone. when i saw her the next day she said 'i know im hard on you sometimes, sorry you take it so personal'. i just said ok thanks. i guess that was her sorry excuse for an apology. but it was ok bc the rest of the year she did not make fun of me anymore and was much nicer to me. of course our interaction was at a minimum but we were very nice to each other the rest of year. so i wish i had said something like that to her the first time she was mean to me. :idea

looking back, my biggest mistake was that i still tried to be friends with her even after i realized she was a bully. i wish i would have put that energy towards finding other friends. look at it this way... there are probably at least 500 girls in your building. at least a few of them dont like their roommates either. 

my best advice to you is to get out and join clubs and find other friends somehow. of course be friendly and nice to your roommates, hope for the best, and be mildly proactive, such as suggesting to go eat together or go to study in the library together or even go to walmart together to get things for the room. but accept the fact that you should make other friends anyway than just your roommates, and you will probably meet alot cooler people and people better worth your time too. a good way to find friends in your dorm is to ask people on your floor what classes they are taking because you are looking for a study/homework partner. i know this is corny, but when i was in the dorms a girl on my floor did that and it got her alot of friends, so i wish i would have been her friend at the time! she gave everyone on the floor her name and a list of classes she was taking, so if anyone wanted to share notes or do homework or anything they could do it together. 

i ended up writing way too much so kudos if you even actually read any of this, but i hope you find some of my advice helpful! also always remember to smile when you talk and more often in general... it makes you seem friendlier and people will be friendlier and nicer to you :yes good luck


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## Charmander (Sep 5, 2012)

peachkaleporkchop said:


> this sounds alot like my roommate situation when i was a freshman in college :/
> 
> i would say that you should be nice to A but quit giving her so much attention, try to be better friends with B, but honestly what i think has already happened is that A is naturally quite aggressive and has determined she likes B better than you for whatever reason, maybe their personalities are just more similar than yours or something, and B will accept her friendship because it is instant and easier, whereas maybe she feels like she doesn't know you as well, so naturally she will feel more friendly with A, and they will be good friends and leave you out of things. a dynamic of 3 girls just sucks.... the aggressor wins every time. :afr do your own thing, wait for them to get in some kind of fight, then be better friends with B maybe? or just forget them both. either way, and even if you got your wish and you were great friends with A and B, you should concentrate your energy on finding friends in your same classes moreso than just your roommates.
> 
> ...


My eyes hurt after reading all that. :b And yeah, it's often the case where if you stand up to them even just once they'll back down because they really weren't expecting it.


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## maritimemovie (Sep 13, 2013)

About the dinner--A went out with her sorority sisters, so I went with B. But it's really hard to talk to B because whenever I ask a question or make some comment to try to talk to her, she barely adds anything back to the convo. And I know she's not quiet or anything, because she acts completely different with everyone else. I think B has the same mindset as A that I'm awkward. 

Thanks for the advice, peachkaleporkchop! I read everything you wrote and I'm sorry for what you experienced in your freshman year! D: That situation sounded absolutely terrible, and I think it's really admirable how you handled it in the end. 

I'm going to follow your advice and go to school clubs for friends.


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