# Therapist ending sessions sooner ...



## Wolfen (Apr 26, 2004)

Instead of 1 hour, he seems to be ending the sessions at around 50-55 minutes and I think he's been doing this for a while. At 30 Euros an hour (nothing gets paid back), this adds up quickly in my case.
Should I tell him or am I just being cheap?
Thanks.


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

When he tries to end it, say "Oh hey, we still have a few minutes. I'd like to keep going until then if you don't mind." I don't see why he wouldn't because you're the patient and you are allowed 1 hour of his time.


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## Iced Soul (Jan 28, 2009)

I don't think you're being cheap at all. Unless he has an actual reason to end early, he should be giving you your full hour.
My old therapist did this twice. Once, because her daughter got in trouble at school and the second time because she had a meeting to go to. She asked me if it was okay both times, because she said it was my time and I deserve every minute of it, but I let her go. I'm okay with them leaving to actually take care of something, but not just because they feel like it.


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## nightwalker (Nov 20, 2008)

My therapist does that too... like she's too anxious to get her paycheck or something.


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## jugador409 (Nov 29, 2003)

The therapist I've been seeing has been cutting back on sessions. They went from 1 hour to 45 minutes to 30 minutes. I don't pay for them so I haven't said anything. But if I were paying like you I'd definitely say something.


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## Black_Widow (May 23, 2008)

The way I'd probably approach that kind of a situation would likely be to say nothing so long as I felt satisfied with how the session had turned out and didn't have any further input . However, if on the other hand I still felt I had more to say/wanted more input from her/him I'd definitely say something. I would also complain if it kept happening - especially if the therapist didn't have the courtesy to ask whether or not that was ok first.


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## Wolfen (Apr 26, 2004)

Ok thanks everyone.
The next time I'll check my watch before the session starts so he knows I know when the session is supposed to end.
I'll tell him the next time.

Not the last session but the one before ended after around 45 minutes ...


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## striker (Jun 20, 2008)

There are 2 things to consider here, expertise & service.

Looks like the service is not first rate. But if the expertise is good, then bear the service.

If the expertise is moderate and then they are others who can give you the same expertise with better service, then go change the therapist.

Ask yourself questions about the big picture.
- Do you think the therapist is sincere in approach.
- Does he care about his work (you) or is he just working to collect his paycheck
- How do you rate him as a good therapist. 

I have been to many different docs (not therapist), some of them don't want to show how little they know in treating you. They hide it by being aloof & not being open about things. 

Someone who is really interested in the craft should be really enthusiastic. It will show through his body language and demeanor.

Try a different therapist if possible. But leave the door open to this one. So in case you want to go back to this guy, you can do that.

Lastly, learn to trust your gut. Its almost always right about things.


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## Wolfen (Apr 26, 2004)

I think he's a good therapist but I don't know if he has a "plan" to help me get "better" (whatever that means).
We just kind of talk about stuff, it's very free-form. Mostly it's just about things I've been doing since the last visit and sometimes he generalizes by pointing out positive or remarkable behaviour.
Everything I do is done alone though and he knows that when he starts talking about topics or activities involving other people, my mood changes and I get sort of grumpy. I really just don't like being around people or communicate with them.

I've already made peace with my negative points of my personality and have stopped fighting to make them less apparent. I'll never be a "good" citizen and will always be a rebel against most social or even normal things. Normal bores me most of the time. 

Sometimes I think the only reason I go to my therapist is because he's the only one who's prepared to listen to what I have to say. No one else cares, including my family. They all probably think : "He doesn't work, so he's no good and will always be a loser". Not even my parents ask me what I do with my time, not ever.

[edit]
Having said this, I WOULD like to talk about movies or video games with people through the 'net though (not "regular" movies, rebels only watch trash lol).


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## pook (Feb 8, 2009)

I had a psychiatrist a few years back who was like that. We did make some progress together, but for the most part it was all very sporadic, like a conversation rather than diagnosing. In a way that did help me tho. Sometimes all you need is to feel human and connect with somebody. Thankfully my insurance covered those sessions, however if I were paying him directly it would have been a very different story!!


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## Wolfen (Apr 26, 2004)

Psychiatrist sessions get refunded for the most part, but with psychologists and therapists it's nada over here. 
And I find it pretty expensive to pay around $650 a year just to talk about my problems.
Maybe in a few months I'll just do 1 hour a month instead of every 3 weeks ... :stu

When I take my Rivotril (only 0.5mg a day) as I'm doing now, I'm pretty stable mentally and very good being on my own (I make music) but without that little pill, things get depressing pretty quickly.
Sure I can talk to some family members for smalltalk (if they don't bark at me for no reason that is), but NEVER about anything negative in my life.

I could always look out for a shrink when I'm sick of paying so much money.


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## Black_Widow (May 23, 2008)

Wolfen said:


> I think he's a good therapist but I don't know if he has a "plan" to help me get "better" (whatever that means). We just kind of talk about stuff, it's very free-form.


I can relate. Back in early 2007, when first contemplating the idea of seeing a professional about my problems, I saw a volunteer counsellor who provided the service within a charity organisation. It was the same kind of a situation. She would listen to me talk for as long as I wanted about whatever I wanted, but - other than the occasional time - didn't add much input on ways to tackle my problems. I appreciated that fact that she took the time to listen to me. But I wanted more than purely that out of the sessions. After feeling that things weren't working out as I'd hoped after the first couple of times, I started asking questions as to possible solutions I could start working towards to overcome my issues. Pretty much her only input was that she had a leaflet with some possible suggestions in it and I should read it - which was a big red flag for me. I then asked her outright if she provided CBT treatment - which another member of staff at the same organisation had implied would be the case. I found out that she didn't - although she suddenly seemed extra keen to persuade me that I should continue with the sessions as soon as I raised the subject. Another warning flag. I never went back again, and later in the year switched to somebody else who was much more helpful.

Perhaps, if you're feeling at this stage things aren't working out as well you hoped, it's worth speaking about the issues bothering you about the sessions with your therapist. It could be he/she will improve the way they communicate with you and your sessions will be more satisfactory as a result. Or on the other hand, maybe they just aren't experienced/knowledgable enough to be as effective with helping you as another therapist might be - and you're better off knowing sooner rather than later so that at least then you can better decide if it's worth looking into alternative people to see.

Hope that helped. ;-)


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## Wolfen (Apr 26, 2004)

I don't really see any reasons anymore why I should change/become better or be a social person. I'm a loner and that's how I like it (I'm proud of it!), but that doesn't mean that I don't ever want to talk about things that bother me anymore. And my therapist is the only person to whom I can talk right now. The 1 or 2 other people I (try to) speak to about issues are judgemental to the max, thus useless to me in that regard. "Don't do this! You should do that!" is what comes out most of the time. They don't seem to know that I don't work that way. When people have that bossy attitude towards me, I'll resist as hard as they try to push me. I can't even stop doing that.
My therapist knows and understands me a 1000 times better than any of my family members.
I don't know if I can find as good a person to talk to who charges less, that's why these talks continue I guess.

And regarding contact with people : all I need is peace of mind and for it to be calm "in my head" and every time I talk to people, they disrupt that peace. The slightest bit of an argument and I'm off, away back in my shell. I've a lot of supressed anger and hate inside me and sometimes I feel that one day I might explode during some of these arguments. And I don't really want to be on national tv if something like that happens ... so if I'm left in peace I'll be fine. If not, not even I know what will happen. It's like the unstable, sleeping volcano thing : it might go off next week, or not at all.

To generalize, I think that's how it is when "nutcases" (I'd call them hurt people with fragile personalities myself) go bezerk. They have all this hate inside, bubbling, and a relatively minor incident could flick that switch and they explode.

Thanks for your input! And it's good you got rid of that fake counsellor.


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## Eugenie (Feb 17, 2009)

Well if it were me, that would be an indication that the therapist isn't really committed to helping me, and I would think seriously about moving on.


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## Black_Widow (May 23, 2008)

Wolfen said:


> I don't really see any reasons anymore why I should change/become better or be a social person. I'm a loner and that's how I like it (I'm proud of it!), but that doesn't mean that I don't ever want to talk about things that bother me anymore. And my therapist is the only person to whom I can talk right now. The 1 or 2 other people I (try to) speak to about issues are judgemental to the max, thus useless to me in that regard. "Don't do this! You should do that!" is what comes out most of the time. They don't seem to know that I don't work that way. When people have that bossy attitude towards me, I'll resist as hard as they try to push me. I can't even stop doing that.
> My therapist knows and understands me a 1000 times better than any of my family members.
> I don't know if I can find as good a person to talk to who charges less, that's why these talks continue I guess.
> 
> ...


No problem for the input and many thanks for that. Weirdly enough I received a questionaire from that clinic just today on how I rate their service quality - after over a year having already passed since I used it. It's been pretty satisfying to have the chance to answer their questions honestly -as then maybe they'll realise they need to start making some improvements in the way they do things.

That's good that at least you're getting something worthwhile from the sessions. I also know about what you mean about judgemental people, as can appreciate what it's like to be on the receiving end. I've come to the conclusion recently that if people are going to negatively judge me for having the problems I do then that's their problem rather than mine. I've spent so much time in the past worrying about what people think about me - with very little benefit out of it - that it's got to the stage I can't be bothered so much anymore. It's not that I can't be bothered to make a good impression on others in general, but at the same time - while at one stage I was out to gain the approval of everyone I came into contact with - this is something that I've realised in recent times just isn't possible and not worth the energy. So I don't blame you at all for feeling that way. ;-)

Anyways good luck with everything.


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## BrokenDreams (Nov 22, 2008)

I could be wrong, but I thought most therapists sessions were 50 minute sessions. This gives them a few minutes between sessions to make notes about your session and to review the next persons file before they come in. I know that's the way it works with my therapist and what was written in the initial paperwork I filled out.


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## hopeatsunrise (Feb 26, 2009)

Yeah i think some therapists do 50 minute sessions, which is confusing as they often call it an 'hour' (just like at school when a lesson 'hour' was 50 minutes). Have you tried talking to your therapist about this? I wonder if this would be useful as you could discuss your feelings around this with your therapist and see where it takes you..?


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