# Question for Women Regarding Weddings



## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Sorry another one, lol. Well I was naive and ignorant when it comes to the cost of weddings mainly because I've never been in one or been involved in the organizing of one. 

So my question is how many of you women want a nice beautiful wedding ceremony (church with family and friends and reception with food and drinks after that)? If you didn't have a fairy tale type wedding would it bother you? Would you look back on it throughout your marriage regretting it (if you didn't have the big ceremony)?


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

I would just be glad to have a wedding, period. haha. But I did always have this idea of a Halloween-themed wedding, I'd wear a black & red dress(or white with blood splatters all over it)... didn't really care about it being big or anything, I just wanted it Halloween themed... but it'll never happen anyway.


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## GTI79 (Feb 2, 2004)

*Re: re: Question for Women Regarding Weddings*



Little Miss Scare-All said:


> I'd wear a black & red dress(or white with blood splatters all over it)


 :nw :nw That's my kinda girl. :boogie


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## BettyBoop90046 (Jun 25, 2007)

Once upon a time, I was engaged to be married. Fortunately, it never materialized, but I hated every bit of the planning that I did. It was an awful experience for me. Never again!

At this stage in my life, a big church wedding would be absolutely ridiculous. I do mean that as "worthy of ridicule" because I think a 30-something first-time bride having a big, expensive church wedding just reeks of desperation. So, if I ever find myself with someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with, there will be an incredibly small and short ceremony (less that 10 people, less than 10 minutes).

However, a big party with food and drinks for everyone we know is A-ok!


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

*Re: re: Question for Women Regarding Weddings*



GTI79 said:


> Little Miss Scare-All said:
> 
> 
> > I'd wear a black & red dress(or white with blood splatters all over it)
> ...


 :eek REALLY? I didn't think most people would like that. :b :boogie


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

When so many marriages end in divorce it looks insane to spend so much time & money on a wedding.

A couple years ago I went to a wedding in a park. The groom was wearing a polo shirt and my brother was just about the only guest to wear a tie. The couple was around 50 and this was a 2nd marriage for both of them, so I guess they didn't feel the need for anything elaborate since they'd likely played that game before and saw how a fancy wedding clearly doesn't do anything to help with the marriage that comes after. This wedding had an open bar -- which in this case meant cans of Miller & Bud in ice chests.

It seems to me that people put way too much emphasis on the ceremony. One day is nothing compared to the rest of your life.


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

*Re: re: Question for Women Regarding Weddings*



UltraShy said:


> When so many marriages end in divorce it looks insane to spend so much time & money on a wedding.
> 
> A couple years ago I went to a wedding in a park. The groom was wearing a polo shirt and my brother was just about the only guest to wear a tie. The couple was around 50 and this was a 2nd marriage for both of them, so I guess they didn't feel the need for anything elaborate since they'd likely played that game before and saw how a fancy wedding clearly doesn't do anything to help with the marriage that comes after. This wedding had an open bar -- which in this case meant cans of Miller & Bud in ice chests.
> 
> It seems to me that people put way too much emphasis on the ceremony. One day is nothing compared to the rest of your life.


 :agree totally.

A woman that I used to work with actually took out a loan for her daughter's wedding :um This makes absolutely no sense to me. I'd rather take the money that would be spent on the wedding and either bank it or make good use of it like putting a down payment on a house or something.

Expensive ceremonies are nothing more than a show of wealth, real or imagined. And, IMO, a waste of perfectly good money.


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## starblob (Oct 23, 2005)

I would prefer a very small civil ceremony in the backyard.


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## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

if I ever do get married.. i'd like to to be outside, very small, just family members.


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## darkangel (Apr 19, 2005)

I care more about the marriage than the wedding, so we could walk down to city hall for all I care


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

I think the wedding in "Runaway Bride" (at the very end) would be perfect.

I would rather spend a lot of money on the honeymoon than the wedding.

Or on the castle we're going to live in.


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## GraceLikeRain (Nov 9, 2003)

*Re: re: Question for Women Regarding Weddings*



libbyberk83 said:


> I would rather spend a lot of money on the honeymoon than the wedding.


 :agree

Also, it is not like I would have a lot of people to invite, so the wedding would never be big anyway. I would rather just go to a place like Maui and get married there.


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## blackwidow (May 2, 2007)

We eloped..nothing tacky...just justice of the peace, and I have no regrets.
I just wore a plain white dress and he wore a suit, and we went out to dinner with a few of our closest friends.

The wedding day is only one day, but the days and years that followed were really the best days of our lives. Looking back, I wouldn't want to spend anymore on a wedding.

I think I would have died if I was the centre of attention for an entire day and forced to be extremely social. Seriously my husband would be a widow by the next day. It would have been really embarassing, as I have no family or friends either.

The money we could have spent on our wedding was used as a downpayment for our first house. So it was worth it...I don't know what weddings cost these days...$5000 - $25,000...maybe more.


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## Amelia (Nov 24, 2003)

scairy said:


> So my question is how many of you women want a nice beautiful wedding ceremony (church with family and friends and reception with food and drinks after that)? If you didn't have a fairy tale type wedding would it bother you?


I'd want some kind of church ceremony and a celebration with family and friends. My main concern would be that the ceremony went well and that people were in comfortable surroundings, ate well and enjoyed themselves. But I'd want to tone down the "fairy tale" fakeness and would definitely draw the line at wearing something white and frilly!


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

I have been married twice and neither of my weddings were elaborate affairs. Like Karl and Annie, I cannot see the point of spending tons of money on a wedding, its just ONE day, the money is better spent on a down payment for a house, a car, savings account whatever....

I wore a rented simple white gown at my wedding in 2001, married in a Vegas chapel (I lived in Vegas), stayed at the Venetian hotel...very simple but awesome. I wouldnt want to have some big production, my anxiety would go through the roof. A


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## SilentProphet (Jun 1, 2007)

I'm not a women but i wouldn't want a full blown wedding. My family would FLIP tho if i just ran off to Vegas or something. If i didn't have SA tho then i'm sure i would STILL hate it. Even normal people are scared as hell before their wedding day. OH plus i can't dance AT ALL.


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## GTI79 (Feb 2, 2004)

*Re: re: Question for Women Regarding Weddings*



Little Miss Scare-All said:


> GTI79 said:
> 
> 
> > [quote="Little Miss Scare-All":5f8db]I'd wear a black & red dress(or white with blood splatters all over it)
> ...


 :eek REALLY? I didn't think most people would like that. :b :boogie[/quote:5f8db]Most don't, but some do.  :whip :shock


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## Xplash (Sep 28, 2005)

I couldn't care less about having a big wedding. But if my girl wants a big wedding, then so be it. Its only money.


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## Becky (Nov 5, 2003)

*Re: re: Question for Women Regarding Weddings*



UltraShy said:


> When so many marriages end in divorce it looks insane to spend so much time & money on a wedding.


:agree


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## Mayflower 2000 (Nov 11, 2003)

If I had a fairly formal wedding, I'd have to be really intoxicated. Just stable enough to be able to stand up for a few minutes at a time


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## Nyx (Nov 17, 2003)

I always fantasized about a big fancy wedding, but then I realized that I don't like parties and I don't like being in the spotlight. Why should I spend money feeding and entertaining other people? If I ever find a man that will tolerate me, we will be eloping to a foreign country. I will still wear a pouffy white dress for pictures though.


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

This is completely t but HEY BECKY --- LOVE the new Avatar -- you guys look so cute and so happy!!! :boogie


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Hopefully no one was trying to make me feel good, lol. Well I feel better about my thinking but thought maybe I was off from most.


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## Veggie1 (Jan 12, 2006)

I would imagine in my case, since it's unlikely I'll ever marry so this is the most likely scenario for me if it were to ever happen, that my wedding would depend on what the nursing home was willing to put out for a wedding of two of its residents. Maybe a punch bowl with flowered paper cups and matching paper plates, possibly a band from the local VFW, and some lovely balloons. There would be decorations and drawings made by the children of the local church who are forced to visit the elderly. Well, i never did care much for lots of fuss. Then my groom and I would shuffle off into our separate rooms on our wedding night because we'd forget we were married by the time we got down the hallway. In fact, we would forget who each other was.

I can just see my groom now....







:heart


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## embers (Dec 19, 2006)

*Re: re: Question for Women Regarding Weddings*



Veggie1 said:


> I would imagine in my case, since it's unlikely I'll ever marry so this is the most likely scenario for me if it were to ever happen, that my wedding would depend on what the nursing home was willing to put out for a wedding of two of its residents. Maybe a punch bowl with flowered paper cups and matching paper plates, possibly a band from the local VFW, and some lovely balloons. There would be decorations and drawings made by the children of the local church who are forced to visit the elderly. Well, i never did care much for lots of fuss. Then my groom and I would shuffle off into our separate rooms on our wedding night because we'd forget we were married by the time we got down the hallway. In fact, we would forget who each other was.
> 
> I can just see my groom now....
> 
> ...


It's nice to see you haven't ruled marriage out. :lol


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Well supposedly the parents of the bride foot the bill.  

Being fiscally conservative (read: not cheap, just frugal), I would feel badly spending an exorbitant amount on the wedding. I would think of the long-lasting things that could be purchased with that money, like a house. Although, I think there's something to be said for having a memorable wedding replete with things you've always wanted.

There is no right or wrong answer, it's up to the parties involved.


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## 0rchid (Aug 19, 2006)

Knowing my family or my culture, I'm very likely to have a very fancy wedding. Personally, I'd prefer a very small wedding (only family and close friends) in a great location (like on a beach or something), and the only thing I'd pay out big money for is the reception. Food's gotta be great, drinks are a must, a live band is a must.


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## RainPetal (Jun 21, 2005)

I will never get married because my boyfriend doesn't want to and I respect that. It's fine by me. I wouldn't want to have a wedding anyway because I would be scared to be centre of attention as brides are. I'll just really hate it.


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## nesteroff (Nov 14, 2003)

Holy crap, reading this thread just made me realize I don't want to get married at all. :afr 

Yeah, well, theoretically speaking, if I were to wed/chain myself to someone, I would have to go to the courthouse, wasted out of my mind, barely conscious, and just make it through as quickly as possible. Even a justice of the peace is too much social interaction and attention! I would need several substances to dull the pain, probably. Or maybe a drive-thru wedding in Vegas? 

Why do people even get married? I still don't get it. :con Is it because of god?


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

my wedding will be in city hall with a pen and a piece of paper


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## Veggie1 (Jan 12, 2006)

I was being a tad facetious previously. Actually, I have always had very little interest in marriage. I'd rather shack up with someone  , provided it was monogamous and sincere.

Even in my romantic (love) fantasies all these years, I am very rarely married in them and even that feels awkward. Guess because my folks fought constantly and I didn't see too many marriages I wanted to someday also have. :stu Or maybe it's just that the thought of marriage gives me cold feet. Who knows. 

On the other hand, I wouldn't mind trying marriage just once before I die, like a quickie Las Vegas one. Maybe get Gumaro drunk, tell him I'm vincenzo or put on a Jennifer Love Hewiit mask, and take him to a chapel to be betrothed, and then get it anulled. :b 

Don't worry Gumaro, I don't have a crush on you, it's just that you are the only SASer I can think of in Las Vegas so your name popped into my head.

Otherwise, I have very little interest in actually getting married but if it were to happen, the wedding would be small and cheap, with the money instead spent on the honeymoon.


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## KimberlyK (Nov 11, 2004)

*Re: re: Question for Women Regarding Weddings*



Penny said:


> I have been married twice and neither of my weddings were elaborate affairs. Like Karl and Annie, I cannot see the point of spending tons of money on a wedding, its just ONE day, the money is better spent on a down payment for a house, a car, savings account whatever....


 :agree But it isn't just that is is ONE day it is the fact that you end up spending money on other people. All the food, booze, and entertainment to keep your guests happy.

I got married on the beach in Hawaii. If it weren't for the plane tickets (Christmas holiday season) ours would have been one of the cheapest weddings ever. I wore a little Hawaiian print dress and my husband wore a nice white shirt he had, we also went barefoot. His sister performed the ceremony and a friend took pictures for us.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

> Why do people even get married? I still don't get it. Is it because of god?


I guess you could say God plays a part. For me it's basically the idea that before God (I believe in a higher power, lol) that I will love this other person, care for them, be faithful until the day I die. Sure you could have this without going through all the legal paperwork and stuff but to me it's the official declaration. It means I mean it from the bottom of my heart because I'm putting it in writing and orally stating it before God.

All that being said I don't know that it really has as much meaning or value as it used to because the divorce rates went way up. You can back out of a marriage now. So it's like making a promise and breaking it. Not intended to offend anyone that's just my thoughts. I can understand that in some circumstances it is the only solution (abusive relationship, unfaithful partner, drug addict etc).


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