# ended a relationship



## mattiemoocow (Feb 9, 2013)

officially terminated a volatile relationship that had been going on and off for 2 years and had significantly increased my anxiety while providing a distraction from my depression due to the temporary release of seratonin/dopamine and how it would make me feel "high".
never liked anyone this much. probably was in love. hardest thing i've ever had to do. but he didn't appreciate me or feel as strongly for me as i did for him and neglected me. i convinced myself i'd rather feel pain at his hands than nothing at all, that i'd rather be miserable with him than without him, and i'm pretty proud of myself for walking away, because i never thought i had the strength to do it.
sometimes people come along who can just manipulate your every action and keep you wrapped up in their web sucking you dry forever, i was emotionally exhausted because i cannot handle being with someone who isn't sure of what they want, doesn't want to officially date me but wants to act like we are, leaves me without explanation for weeks then comes back around when he feels like it, generally takes advantage of my devotion.

i'll be seeing a psychiatrist soon and hopefully being prescribed some sort of medication (this is not the only reason i'm seeking help, just the catalyst) and i hope that will alleviate some of the pain.


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## NicoShy (Jun 11, 2009)

Good for you !


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## momentsunset (Nov 10, 2009)

Good for you! That didn't sound like a healthy relationship at all.


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## Mask132 (Dec 23, 2013)

I... feel respect for you right now.

Seriously.

Ending a bad relationship with a person you're in love with takes a lot of insight and strength.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

You should shout this story to anyone who will listen to you.

So many people hang on to s***ty relationships when things could be so much better on the other side.


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## mattiemoocow (Feb 9, 2013)

Just Lurking said:


> You should shout this story to anyone who will listen to you.
> 
> So many people hang on to s***ty relationships when things could be so much better on the other side.


Mhm, well they're not getting better yet, but I'm hoping it will haha.



Mask132 said:


> I... feel respect for you right now.
> 
> Seriously.
> 
> Ending a bad relationship with a person you're in love with takes a lot of insight and strength.


Thank you!
Yeah... took me 2 years to realize he was never going to return my intensity of feeling.. would rather just be alone at this point, than have to constantly be trying to be better for someone



momentsunset said:


> Good for you! That didn't sound like a healthy relationship at all.


yea definitely not ):



NicoShy said:


> Good for you !


ty


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## Der Ubermensch (Oct 30, 2012)

That wasn't love, don't know what it was but love wasn't for sure. You deserve better than him, you deserve respect, love, being cherished as a human being as everyone else. Don't worry, you will find love again !  All the best to you ! Find someone that will make you feel alive and special and I know there's someone there for you !


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## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

Ending a relationship is hard, I've been there, and I mean hard, especially one that's been going on that long. Causing the drama/hurt feelings and the prospect of being single again after 3 years made it nearly impossible for me to end it. But it sounds like it was the right thing to do for you. I know you're not seeking advice, but I'll just throw some out anyway, make sure it's a clean break, as in no hanging out, no communication, etc. That advice was what I didn't follow and it was just a bad idea all around.


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## Fixfounded1994 (Feb 19, 2012)

Good for you  *hugs*

I'm sort of on the same boat.

I don't know what's going on between me and him but either way, some things need to change.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

You're free! Spread your wings and fly!


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## mjfly (Dec 28, 2013)

*huge mistake*

You're a victim. Stop pretending that you're not.


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## mjfly (Dec 28, 2013)

The world needs pathos. Who would normal people have to look down on?


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## mattiemoocow (Feb 9, 2013)

mjfly said:


> You're a victim. Stop pretending that you're not.


Wait, what?


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## lad (Sep 26, 2011)

Good for you, relationships can feel like they're suffocating you at times.


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## life01 (Feb 20, 2013)

Just Lurking said:


> You should shout this story to anyone who will listen to you.
> 
> So many people hang on to s***ty relationships when things could be so much better on the other side.


 agree 100%, but it is easier to settle


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

congrats, that's cause for some celebration and a pat on the back (in the form of chocolates and licorice).

it's going to hurt before it heals, but hopefully afterwards it can give you some clarity and perspective over your emotions. you'll look back in months and think "what the **** was i doing" with a laugh.

too many people stay in relationships that aren't working through fear of leaving the comfort, because the relationship has just become an extension of their comfort zone. and they're terrified of having to find another. there's also a false sense of "i have to make this work again no matter what" when in reality, no, you really don't. breaking up is natural and necessary part of our personal growth, it makes us resilient, its all just a game of pokemon racking up exp to evolve. (obviously its a bit more, but you get the point)

so take solace in knowing that your situation isn't that out of the ordinary and in fact expected. enjoy the meaning in music during your sorrow, because it's never as good as when we're ****ed up.

sorry for the run on rant.


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## Raphael200 (Aug 18, 2012)

Nice : )


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## Brisby (Nov 17, 2013)

Good for you! You should feel very proud of yourself right now because getting out of relationships like that are extremely difficult. I was in a relationship like that once for years and even after knowing him for so long and thinking I would never find someone else I would feel the same way about, I took the risk and ended it. I had to keep telling myself it was paramount to my emotional/psychological recovery even though it was one of the hardest choices I ever had to make. I won't sugar coat it, it will hurt for a long time. You'll think about him every day, wonder what he's doing, miss sharing things with him like you use to. Eventually, that will all lessen with time, and patience will be your best line of defense. You probably already feel like there is this giant weight lifted off your shoulders. That will get even lighter the more time passes, and you'll look back and wonder how the hell you ever put up with him for so long.


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## Notmynameplease (Dec 19, 2013)

Aaaaagggghh!!

I just had to let that out. It hurts when someone knows they have complete power over you and they choose to hurt you. I did my best to make her happy, and the least she could do was just treat me gently. I just can't wrap my head around it. We could have been friends.

I'm happy you let that toxic relationship go. It's true, it feels lighter now. Best of everything to you.


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## housebunny (Oct 22, 2010)

Brisby said:


> ...patience will be your best line of defense.


So true! Addictive relationships can be really hard to break. How's it going OP, are you staying away?


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## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

housebunny said:


> So true! Addictive relationships can be really hard to break. How's it going OP, are you staying away?


Took me a couple years to actually end my relationship with someone after our break up. Actually it took her getting into a serious relationship for us to stop going to each other in moments of weakness and/or horniness.


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## housebunny (Oct 22, 2010)

crimeclub said:


> Actually it took her getting into a serious relationship for us to stop going to each other in moments of weakness and/or horniness.


Yeah, it really helps to find somebody else. I could not stop going back to my exbf for the longest time. Finally it was someone else that helped me get free and I even went back one more time after that relationship broke up, but this last time some really bad stuff happened that convinced me he is just bad for me. And I _still_ get the urge sometimes to contact him but I'm holding out. I think my social anxiety plays a huge part in this, because I feel isolated a lot and I don't like to go out.


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## VanGogh (Jan 13, 2013)

It's a hard thing to do. A hard lesson to learn.


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## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

housebunny said:


> Yeah, it really helps to find somebody else. I could not stop going back to my exbf for the longest time. Finally it was someone else that helped me get free and I even went back one more time after that relationship broke up, but this last time some really bad stuff happened that convinced me he is just bad for me. And I _still_ get the urge sometimes to contact him but I'm holding out. I think my social anxiety plays a huge part in this, because I feel isolated a lot and I don't like to go out.


I feel you, I don't get how other people can be so strong and say enough is enough, I just feel weak with that stuff, but like you said I guess SA has something to do with it, if I didn't have SA I might be in relationships more often which does help. But as things are right now, my relationships are few and far between, so that leaves a lot of lonely nights which seems to destroy my will power so I'll do anything to have a night of being with her even though it's going to be horrible afterwards. Blah! Dating and relationships suck. Why can't I just finally find my nice cute shy girl who wants to cuddle all the time, that's all I ask!! haha.


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