# Who are you more comfortable with: Males or Females?



## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

*Who are you more comfortable with: Males or Females?* (applies to any social setting - your overall comfort level)


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## MaidMarian (Feb 18, 2009)

I feel much more comfortable around men. When I'm around other women, I feel really insecure and anxious because I constantly compare myself to them, and always come up short and feeling like a loser. Men seem to appreciate me the way I am, and enjoy my company, whereas women tend to act *****y and shut me out.


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## zookeeper (Jun 3, 2009)

MaidMarian said:


> I feel much more comfortable around men. When I'm around other women, I feel really insecure and anxious because I constantly compare myself to them, and always come up short and feeling like a loser. Men seem to appreciate me the way I am, and enjoy my company, whereas women tend to act *****y and shut me out.


The same. Except switch the genders around. I find myself comparing myself to other males (usually unfavourably). And unless it's a woman I find at all attractive, then I become even _more_ socially debilitated. Yay me.


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## huh (Mar 19, 2007)

Generally I'm equally uncomfortable with both. If I'm attracted to them in some way, then I just get more uncomfortable. If they're older than me, then I'm usually more comfortable than usual around them.


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## sacred (May 25, 2009)

males for sure but ive had alot of male friends and uh friendships with other men kinda bore me. at this stage of my life id much rather learn to be comfortable and spend alot of my time with females.


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## ChrissyQ (Apr 15, 2009)

.


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## zookeeper (Jun 3, 2009)

ChrissyQ said:


> Females! I avoid males like they have swine flu! lol


We actually have cooties. But thankfully I hear there's a shot for it.


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## anonymid (Oct 16, 2005)

Overall, I'd say I'm equally (un)comfortable with both, though I seem to have an easier time forming close friendships with women than with men.


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## rumjungle (Feb 13, 2009)

I have a few close female friends...but I find men easier to become friends with. I'm a tomboy so I usually have more in common with them and I find some women to be too prissy/gossipy. Having said that...I've avoided making friends for awhile now...so I'll say I'm confused or uncomfortable with both.


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## kos (May 19, 2009)

Males. I can't keep a conversation going with a female. I talk about the weather and all that small talk but can ever get to a deeper level. I guess i just have more in common with males.


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## Toad Licker (Nov 2, 2007)

Females


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## homer (Nov 23, 2008)

Males or females is about the same for me. Comfort depends more on the situation or the person.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

Very basic levels of interaction (sitting next to someone on a bus): Female

Acquiantance (someone I might say hi to when I see them): Male

Friend (someone I might go to a movie with): Female

Close friend (Someone I share personal things with): Male

I know that sounds ridiculously complicated and weird, but it basically boils down to two things. One, I am really bad at dealing with girl drama so I'm not usually super close with girls or small talk with them where I might say the wrong thing. Two, in situations where men and women usually flirt/smile at each other/all that I feel really awkward around guys, so I feel best in the friend zone with them where I don't have to think about that.

I know that's really convoluted, but there you go.


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## EagerMinnow84 (Sep 1, 2007)

Females. None of that girl drama stuff though. I could talk to guys but I feel more self conscious. I am working on that.


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

it still depends a lot on other aspects of the person but overall i tend to feel more comfortable with males.
i'm guessing because of similar reasons that MaidMarian mentioned.


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## sansd (Mar 22, 2006)

I'm female. Males are more likely to talk to me, and when they do, I think conversations with them generally feel a little less awkward than with females. All of my few friends are male, but I think that's more about their willingness to talk to me than how comfortable *I* felt with them. A lot of women do make me feel especially uncomfortable, but so do a lot of men . . . so I don't really know.

I do think that men I like a lot (as people) are strangely kind of less intimidating than women I like a lot, in that I feel less like I am not "good enough" to talk to them.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

I voted that I'm more comfortable with males because I very rarely feel any physical attraction for men. I often feel attracted to women which makes me very uncomfortable and self-conscious around them.


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

I'm a female who is by far more comfortable with males. I don't really know why, just the way it is.


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## Amelia (Nov 24, 2003)

I used to feel more comfortable around other females, but, depending on the people concerned, tend to prefer talking to men now as it's easier to have a proper conversation with them.


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

Totally way more comfortable with men...


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Many male friends but the only RL female friends I have are either gf's of my male friends or ex gf's of my male friends. It seems the only way I can really get to know females and I guess it is because they get time to spend around me and then I get more comfortable with them etc.


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## ShyViolet (Nov 11, 2003)

Females


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

I've always been more comfortable with females, myself.


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## somethinginthewind (Jul 11, 2009)

Females for sure. Guys are a mystery to me. :?


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## Tangent (Jul 1, 2009)

I'm male and for the past two years all my internet "friends" and almost all the pseudo-friends I have had in real life have been female, so I voted that I am more comfortable with females. I could not have another male as a confidant...I think there is a natural/biological compulsion among males to be competetive among each other, so they, we, dislike admitting weakness to one another and there is more pressure to be dominant socially, whereas with females the competetive aspects of social interaction are somewhat less.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

MaidMarian said:


> I feel much more comfortable around men. When I'm around other women, I feel really insecure and anxious because I constantly compare myself to them, and always come up short and feeling like a loser. Men seem to appreciate me the way I am, and enjoy my company, whereas women tend to act *****y and shut me out.


I feel the same way, except not so much the acting *****y part. I just feel like I can't relate, especially to women my own age. Like we have nothing in common. Except for right now, in this instance! I'm not sure about men appreciating me, I just feel more comfortable around them, if I feel comfortable around anyone. But the comparing part - it's tearing me a new one!!! It really is the most awful feeling.


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## No-Sturm-und-Drang (Jan 21, 2009)

Females its a safe haven


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## whiterabbit (Jan 20, 2006)

I'm equally uncomfortable around both, but I do find that I usually prefer the company of men.


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## MaidMarian (Feb 18, 2009)

zookeeper said:


> The same. Except switch the genders around. I find myself comparing myself to other males (usually unfavourably). And unless it's a woman I find at all attractive, then I become even _more_ socially debilitated. Yay me.


I don't know what you look like, but I know you have an awesome sense of humour. Women love that (at least the intelligent ones do lol), so give yourself some credit


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## Efsee (Jul 20, 2009)

It's not often that i'm able to feel comfortable with anyone, but when I am it's usually men. They seem to be more accepting towards me than women are. They are easier to talk to. They don't get *****y. I don't understand cattiness, it makes me sad.:rain


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

I'm slightly more comfortable around most (but not all) males. "My new haircut" sorts are scary and I can't deal with them.

I'm generally uncomfortable around all kinds of women.


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## Freedom2010 (Jan 29, 2009)

It's about equal for me. It just depends on the person. Some people are better at makimg me feel comfortable than others. If we have similar personalities or the other person seems interested in getting to know me, it defieitely makes it easier to feel comfortable around the person.


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## veron (Apr 29, 2009)

Generally females. I've had only 2 male friends, not including my childhood days


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## coldmorning (Jul 4, 2007)

Depends on the person, but I'm generally more comfortable around women.


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## kenny87 (Feb 22, 2009)

a while ago I would have said males, because that use to be the only type of people who would be around me, after being with females for the first time in collage group work, and considering my own family members i am going to say females, the males I have been around in my life, both family and none, have a much higher rate of being complete asses. Females can be to I guess, but there seems to be alot less of a chance with them.


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## Thomas Paine (Mar 29, 2008)

I'm not comfortable around men my own age, but if they are quite a bit younger or quite a bit older I'm OK. For some reason I am usually more comfortable around women, and even more so if I'm attracted to them. Something just clicks and makes me feel confident and want to show off for her. Maybe it is hormones, I don't know.


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

Tangent said:


> I'm male and for the past two years all my internet "friends" and almost all the pseudo-friends I have had in real life have been female, so I voted that I am more comfortable with females. I could not have another male as a confidant...I think there is a natural/biological compulsion among males to be competetive among each other, so they, we, dislike admitting weakness to one another and there is more pressure to be dominant socially, whereas with females the competetive aspects of social interaction are somewhat less.


That's certainly not true for all guys. There is competition between men, even if they are friends, but if we're looking at male friendship from a primordial/biological perspective, making alliances with other men has many advantages in the hunter/gatherer sense.

Most of my friends are men (only a few are female), though I do have many female acquaintances. It seems that nearly every time I try to be good friends with a woman it either just dies out from what I interpret as her lack of interest, or I develop feelings for her, which always ends bad. But my oldest male friend I've known for 15 years now, since elementary school.


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## PolarBear (Jun 23, 2009)

If i don't know them I'm equally useless talking to both men and women. Once i get to know someone my SA disappears....The only trouble is sustaining social contact until i get to know them, which almost never happens.


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## Hadron92 (Apr 17, 2009)

I don't tend to have a specific preference for a gender in a neutral friendship (that is, if I feel comfortable enough to have one, which didn't happen for years). I guess I just don't feel comfortable around either genders. even if I did, I really couldn't care less about gender. I used to have a pretty good female friend. We used to hang out -- play football, basketball and went swimming sometimes. I think my relationship with her was exactly the same as my relationship with my male friends. But that was a few years ago, when I was 12-14, when my anxiety wasn't so bad. Now I don't even feel comfortable around my parents.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

equally uncomfortable with both


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

^ I now give your avatar a -0000.000000001.

I guess I'm not helping.

<joke>


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## Dempsey (Jun 27, 2009)

A group of girls is equally frightening to a group of guys. I feel i have to put on an act in each case.


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## DSPFrat (Aug 2, 2009)

I'm actually more comfortable having convos with my female friends. I always expect the dudes to try and embarass me, cuz they know I have social anxiety.


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## quietgal (Oct 18, 2007)

I put equally uncomfortable with both, but honestly whether or not I'm comfortable with them has more to do with the person's personality, male or female, than their gender. I haven't had much interaction with guys recently though, so I might be more uncomfortable around them now, even though I got along better with guys in high school.


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

EagerMinnow84 said:


> Females. None of that girl drama stuff though.


ditto


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

I'm less uncomfortable around girls, just cause I feel like guys are really competitive.


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## Hank Scorpio (Oct 28, 2008)

Usually females unless I'm attracted to them. Older ladies are easiest.


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

Females. I'm an alien who doesn't fit in with either gender, but it's easier to not understand each other and not have anything in common when you can pretend it's because of gender. I'm more afraid of guys thinking I'm weird for not being like them.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

Females, overall.


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