# Would guys date bipolar girls?



## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

I have bipolar and I was wondering if any guys would date a bipolar girl. I don't think I'll ever get a guy.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Sure, why not.


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## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

I thought all women were bipolar... LOL just kidding, don't castrate me.

I think it would take a tolerant guy to date a bipolar woman. It takes tolerance to be with anyone with a mental disability, even us. It helps if any guy you date knows you have it and knows what it is. You just have to have something to offer the relationship to make it worth staying around.


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

I can't say I would dismiss dating someone solely because they have bipolar disorder. I'd have to get to know them personally and take into consideration other factors, like how well our personalities mesh, if there's a physical attraction, what her interests and goals in life are, etc. It's always important to remember that you are not your mental illness. It's a burden that unfortunately has to be carried, but it's not the _real_ you, and most people are able to understand that and recognize all the good qualities and love you have to offer apart from it. Including a potential partner.

Personally, I'd be willing to date a girl with bipolar if there was an attraction. I believe most other guys would as well.


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## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

You asked for my opinion so I'll give it: No. I had a really bad experience working with a bi-polar coworker. He was probably thee most verbally abusive person I'd ever met in my entire life. And if his life circumstances were slightly different he'd probably be in jail or of ended up killing someone by now. He used his illness as a crutch to treat people however he wanted and made no effort whatsoever to improve, which included throwing away medication prescriptions.


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## mazer (Feb 12, 2010)

Yes. I have a friend who is bipolar and he is a great guy and very understanding. I don't think bipolar is a deal-breaker.


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## sda0 (Oct 16, 2009)

Absolutely. My best friend is bipolar and so is my mother. It's treatable; I would never discount a relationship because of it.


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## anonymid (Oct 16, 2005)

Yes, I would.


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

drealm said:


> You asked for my opinion so I'll give it: No. I had a really bad experience working with a bi-polar coworker. He was probably thee most verbally abusive person I'd ever met in my entire life. And if his life circumstances were slightly different he'd probably be in jail or of ended up killing someone by now. He used his illness as a crutch to treat people however he wanted and made no effort whatsoever to improve, which included throwing away medication prescriptions.


clearly it's his personality, not his illness



LaRibbon said:


> I have bipolar, but if you met me you'd never know it (even unmedicated). The whole 'bipolars are crazy and all over the shop' is a bs stereotype.


:yes to both.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

I'd give it a shot. I mean it's only dating. If it begins to pose a problem, then you can always jump ship and move on.



tlgibson97 said:


> I thought all women were bipolar... LOL just kidding, don't castrate me.


I lol'd.:b


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Yeah, I'd date a bipolar girl


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

That would depend on the severity of the condition. I know it seems ironic that I assume women will date me despite my own afflictions but I've been with bi-polar women before and there was simply too much that was "off" about them to make anything long-term a possibility. I might have only seen the ugliest of the ugly a bi-polar individual has to offer.


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## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

Have and would again! A++++++++



LaRibbon said:


> The whole 'bipolars are crazy and all over the shop' is a bs stereotype.


This.
although... there are different severities and some are crazier than others.


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## Mr. Frostie (Nov 2, 2008)

We have a family member with bipolar disorder. She spends money recklessly, cons people into loaning her money for bad investments and schemes, has extremely delusional beliefs about herself (lies about having attended prestigious schools) and is just an all around unpleasant person to be around. I don't know if the stereotype that bipolar people are crazies is BS, but she fits the stereotype to a T. If a girl with bipolar disorder wanted to date me, I would run like Hell in the other direction.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

The thing is if I can keep a guy. I can never keep guys because I'm bipolar no matter if I'm under medication or not they won't be with me. They are worried I might freak out.


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## mazer (Feb 12, 2010)

That is entirely their problem. They should not be scared that you will freak out; they should be concerned that you might have an episode. Perhaps they need to be informed about your disorder?


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

I'm interested in this guy on a dating site who he said he's a self-proclaimed nerd. I like nerdy guys, but I'm scared to message him because I don't think he'll stay with a girl with bipolar. I have guys telling me I'm pretty and fun to be with, but I don't think ever keep a guy because I have an emotional and mental illness.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

I was friend with this girl who was bipolar. She was awesome no matter how she felt. 
I would have dated her anytime back then, but she wasn't interested in me that way, of course.


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## mazer (Feb 12, 2010)

You like nerdy guys because you are awesome. \me is a nerdy guy.
Don't assume that he wouldn't stay with a you because you are bipolar. Look at this thread if you need to see how many guys here would be happy with a bipolar woman (there are a few that said no, but not many).
Just be honest and open about your disorders and provide whoever becomes interested with links that will inform them of what you struggle with.
Just jump in and be honest and you'll be fine.
(while you do so, I'll be trying to take my own advice as well)


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

Let's date lol. Well jk you're a little far. There are no CA guys here.  Thanks for your advice.


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## sda0 (Oct 16, 2009)

thegoodtimes said:


> There are no CA guys here.


oke


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

coldmorning said:


> Frankly, the fact that you're asking this tells more about why you can't keep guys than the fact that you're bipolar.


Thanks. :roll


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

drealm said:


> You asked for my opinion so I'll give it: No. I had a really bad experience working with a bi-polar coworker. He was probably thee most verbally abusive person I'd ever met in my entire life. And if his life circumstances were slightly different he'd probably be in jail or of ended up killing someone by now. He used his illness as a crutch to treat people however he wanted and made no effort whatsoever to improve, which included throwing away medication prescriptions.


Would you date girls that had the illness under control and improved herself? You would probably say no. I agree with the other member here, clearly it's your coworkers personality and he is using bipolar as an excuse as you stated. And you stated that he made no effort to improve. So would you date a girl that has it under control?


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## Jurexic5 (Jun 23, 2009)

i'd have to see and talk to these girls before i decide.


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

you don't have to tell a guy right away that you have bipolar disorder. some people know absolutely nothing about it and might feel neutral, others might just hear the word 'bipolar' and assume it means she's crazy and not worth the time of day. as you can see from the examples listed in this thread, it varies quite drastically on the person's viewpoint of dating someone with BP as well as how well the person with BP can cope with relationships.
i think waiting to tell him when he knows you better and think he would have more of a sense of how strong he feels for you is best. i don't think you are hiding something if you aren't ready to reveal something very personal about yourself right after meeting someone. people do that all the time.


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## Narcissus (Aug 28, 2007)

Strongly, strongly depends on the individual.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

While I don't want to offend anyone on the board, I have to say that I would not date a bipolar woman. I'd very much like to date a woman who has some similar life problems/anxieties as me because she would understand, but any illnesses such as bipolar, schizophrenia or multiple personality disorder would be deal breakers for me. I'm saying this because I had a bad experience with a bipolar woman a few years ago; in fact it was the only time I've ever come close to going on anything resembling a date. She contacted me after viewing my profile on Daily Strength and was looking to talk to people in our city. We e-mailed each other for about a week and she was open about her bipolar condition, extreme stress problems and meds. I considered stopping e-mailing her when she talked about having to be hospitalized after ending a recent relationship because that was pretty scary. She had gone by one name online but when she finally asked if she could call me, she revealed that she'd been lying about her name and wasn't an honest person, which was doubly scary (I actually think she had multiple personalities but she jokingly swore she didn't). I agreed to take her call and she was very nice on the phone and almost immediately asked if we could meet up. While I was intrigued and considered it, I finally told her I didn't want to because of my own shyness but I didn't say that her problems also scared me. I reconsidered in the following days because, even though she had problems, she was a woman and, since I'd never been on a date, meeting a woman my age regardless of her problems was something I thought I should do. When I e-mailed her, she said she'd changed her mind because it would be too stressful. Over the next few months we communicated a few times on Daily Strength and I asked her again if she wanted to meet but she reiterated that it'd be too stressful. Then one day after I had posted my photo on the site I just mentioned that it'd be cool if she would as well, totally innocently. She sent me a message saying that me asking her to post her photo filled her with fear, that she had also felt fear on the phone and that I should never contact her again, which I haven't. She had also reverted to using the name she said was a lie, so I believe that personality was dominant that day. This really threw me for a loop and made me feel like I'd done something wrong even though I definitely had not. It bummed me out a bit.

I know this is one incident but I don't think I could deal with someone who had problems that were so severe. My cousin's wife is also bipolar and/or schizophrenic and has had many episodes of mania and hallucinations where she accused my cousin of stuff he didn't do. Recently she had him arrested, saying he'd threatened her and their kids with a rifle and wanted to kill Obama, even though he'd done no such thing. I could be wrong and I know it's an individual thing, but my impression is that bipolar women would be the kind who would do things like have sex with you and then change her mind in the morning, charging you with rape. Again, this is just my impression and my own personal conviction and I wish anyone who is bipolar well. Goodtimes--a site exists called nolongerlonely.com which is a dating site specifically for people with mental illness. It seems that many members have more extreme illnesses such as bipolar and schizophrenia. Just an idea. Good luck to you.


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## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

nothing to fear said:


> clearly it's his personality, not his illness
> 
> I certainly hope so. But unfortunately every other bi-polar person I've run into has been similar. So I don't know if it's a streak of bad personalities or a common denominator from the disease.
> 
> :yes to both.


I don't think I can be blamed for being wary. Like I said he was thee most verbally abusive person I'd ever met in my life. And I honestly think that under slightly different circumstances he'd be a murder or in prison. There were times where all of a sudden he'd just start throwing objects over the smallest thing. When I was driving in his car he'd get road rage and suddenly start driving at a 100mph an hour. It was scary to say the least, absolutely no middle ground - just extremely happy or extremely sad or extremely depressed. He also hospitalized himself a few times to avoid going into work, he was lucky he was working for his father as anyone else would of fired him long ago.



thegoodtimes said:


> Would you date girls that had the illness under control and improved herself? You would probably say no. I agree with the other member here, clearly it's your coworkers personality and he is using bipolar as an excuse as you stated. And you stated that he made no effort to improve. So would you date a girl that has it under control?


If it's his personality, that's a relief. Because he single handed created the worst 6 months of my life before I quit. Since my only experiences with bi-polar disorder have been negative it's hard to give a fair answer. My co-worker often said he was "improving", yet a couple minutes later he'd be threatening to beat someone up, hinting at suicide or start endlessly ridiculing me. His strides in "control and improvement" paled in comparison to his actions. Perhaps I just hit a bad streak. I'm not against bi-polars as a dating criteria, I'm just afraid of them.


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## TRENNER (Sep 21, 2009)

thegoodtimes said:


> I have bipolar and I was wondering if any guys would date a bipolar girl. I don't think I'll ever get a guy.


It isn't something I'd tell a guy too soon. If I heard from a woman on the first date or before that she was bipolar, I'd probably run. However, if I dated her for a month without knowing and the condition was clearly under control, I'd probably continue with her.

A lot of things about a person could be a dealbreaker if revealed too soon. For instance, I lost my virginity to a prostitute. If you see a recent poll here, 2/3 of women here say they find that unacceptable from a man. However, I have never found it to be a dealbreaker in my life because I was intelligent with how I presented the fact. I did tell women though, just not initially. So, similarly with you, with being bipolar, if you handle presenting it intelligently_and the condition is really under control_, you'll be okay IMO.

Good luck.


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## 2Talkative (Nov 1, 2007)

Sure as long as it's not really bad because it can be frightening dealing with someone who has severe bi-polar.


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## bowlingpins (Oct 18, 2008)

Yes, they would. There's more to a person than their diagnosis. 

Besides, bipolar ranges in severity and can be well controlled with medication.


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## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

I've dated a bi-polar girl in the past, I'd do it again, it wouldn't scare me away.


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## SaigeJones (Mar 17, 2008)

i wouldn't date someone who was bipolar.


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## Turkojan (Jan 30, 2010)

Depends on other factors like her personality, the severity etc.

I agree with not telling the guy immediately though, best to wait for a while so they're not clouded by the fact that you have BPD and get to know the real you...


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## CarlitoBrigante (Oct 29, 2006)

There was a girl I knew who was bipolar. I think I could handle it, she wasn't too bad. In fact, I thought "there are girls I know who are just moody *****es that are worse than this".


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## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

thegoodtimes said:


> I have bipolar and I was wondering if any guys would date a bipolar girl. I don't think I'll ever get a guy.


I have to say that I wouldn't. I've known some people who I suspect were bipolar, and that is just something that I wouldn't want to deal with in a relationship. Sorry


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## BrokenDreams (Nov 22, 2008)

I was married to a woman who was bi-polar so I know what it's like. Today I wouldn't hesitate to date or even marry a bi-polar woman again. There are many more important things to consider that far outweigh that.


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## ninjew (Feb 9, 2010)

As someone who's (briefly) dated a bipolar girl, had huge crushes on a couple of bipolar girls, and probably has a bit of a thing for bipolar girls for whatever reason, I'd say yes.


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## shyguydan222 (Nov 1, 2008)

My first true love when I was 20-23,I dated her for almost 2 years, and I lost my V too her thinking I was in love. At the time I did not realize that she was bi-polar but I looked later on I observed her patterns and she was definitely had extreme highs & extreme lows. But at the same time, I think I have bi-polar myself, I have to talk to my shrink and find out for sure


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## when will we be new skin (Aug 18, 2009)

I just tried to date a bipolar guy and it was a no go. Could've just been him.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

Well, yeah, I'm looking for someone just like my mom, said Freud.


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