# No Prior Relationship Experience



## LonelyEnigma (Jan 7, 2007)

Vote, then briefly explain your answer.

*No Prior Relationship Experience (Thread Definition)*
1. Never been on a date 
2. Never kissed a girl/boy 
3. Never had a girlfriend/boyfriend 
4. Never had sex

I specifically used the word prior to emphasis that the experience that occurs during his/her relationship with you would not count. I chose not to use the phrase "would you date?" because the 4 attributes above would rarely be known upon an initial date. However, these things would most likely become apparent or suspected after some time. So the question that arises is would you leave or stay after finding out these abnormal things about the individual you've been dating.

A Bonus Question &#8230; LOL&#8230; for those who've managed to read this far. How different do you think the result would be if this question was posted on a "normal" forum?


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## LonelyEnigma (Jan 7, 2007)

I’m a guy, Yes, Definitely. Not only would I stay with her, but I would be even more excited about the future of our relationship. It would be a dream for me to meet someone who has no relationship experience. I would feel soooo much more comfortable being in a relationship with someone whose relationship experience level is similar to my own. I would not think she was weird or creepy …. I would think she is unique and wonderful.


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## SebFontain (Jan 27, 2004)

I'm a guy, probably not.

I have always been the type of person looking for a serious, life long relationship. You know, my soul mate. It would kind of scare me thinking that person might want to experiment with others later on in our relationship. If I knew in my heart that she felt that I was the only one for her, then I would make an acception I suppose.


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## sno (May 27, 2008)

LonelyEnigma said:


> I'm a guy, Yes, Definitely. Not only would I stay with her, but I would be even more excited about the future of our relationship. It would be a dream for me to meet someone who has no relationship experience. I would feel soooo much more comfortable being in a relationship with someone whose relationship experience level is similar to my own. I would not think she was weird or creepy &#8230;. I would think she is unique and wonderful.


^ Ditto to what he said.


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

Yes, absolutely. Prior experience doesn't matter to me at all and has no bearing on who he is or what he's about.



SebFontain said:


> It would kind of scare me thinking that person might want to experiment with others later on in our relationship.


As far as worrying about whether or not he'll choose to move on in the future, there's that risk in any relationship :stu


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

I'm a girl, and it wouldn't really bother me either way. I don't see it as a big deal and would certainly be open to keep dating that person. 

I'd suppose I'd rather date someone with less relationship experience than someone who had a long, complicated and dramatic dating history.


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## SebFontain (Jan 27, 2004)

leppardess said:


> Yes, absolutely. Prior experience doesn't matter to me at all and has no bearing on who he is or what he's about.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Ohh of course, but from what I hear, people with no experience, the majority of the time, tend to get the wandering eye. I have seen it happen a lot as a kid, but then again in few cases have know a few people who where H.S. sweet hearts and are still married to this very day. I would be open to dating someone with no experience, but would also have to feel confident in the two of us being together. That would be determined by her actions and the way she expresses her thoughts and feelings towards me along with her personality and so on..


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Prior relationship experience really wouldn't matter to me. I wouldn't view lack of it as a negative.

I would question item #2 on your list of what qualifies as relationship experience: kissing. I've kissed about a dozen women (yes, I mean romantically with tongues in mouth and such), but I fail to see how that qualifies as a relationship even under a very broad definition. And sometimes it's kind of obvious if they've had sex before -- if she has kids I assume it wasn't an immaculate conception. I assume the same if she's divorced (or currently married).


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## roverred (Dec 23, 2007)

Voted yes if she's cool. I have no experience either and I do feel lacking and scared the girl would think i'm freak after hearing that. Or the person will be on a constant hunt for flaws till she satisfies her, "hmm why hasn't he dated yet?" I'm actually curious to see this on a regular forum. Care to try?


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

I didn't answer the poll since I have a hard time imagining theoretical situation of "me" and "in a relationship" existing in the same context.

With friends though, I definitely wouldn't stop being someone's friend if I found out they had never had friend experience before. If they were selfish and cruel, I wouldn't be their friend, but their experience would be totally irrelevant for me. It would come down to whether I like being around them.



LonelyEnigma said:


> A Bonus Question &#8230; LOL&#8230; for those who've managed to read this far. How different do you think the result would be if this question was posted on a "normal" forum?


For the bonus question... hmm...

I suspect that there would be a bias against someone without experience, but maybe not as significant as people fear. If you're a likeable person who's fun to be around, and your partner was enjoying him/herself, then I don't see why they'd just decide they are no longer enjoying themselves if you hadn't experienced a date, kissing, relationship, or sex before.

I think the bias would be far more apparent in a hook-up sort of "relationship" rather than a more intimate relationship though. If sex was the focus and main attraction, then they might not want to be with someone without any experience whatsoever.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Yes, definitely. Prior relationship experience doesn't really enter the picture. (Unless maybe if she's had "a lot" of experience...)


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## aliveforthem19 (Jun 29, 2008)

I'm a girl, probably not. 

Well, I guess I have been in a long term relationship, but it's sure been rocky. Other than that, I don't have much experience myself. It seems like it would make it much more awkward.


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## smalltowngirl (Feb 17, 2006)

I'm a girl. Yes, definitely!

Elise I like your signature! :lol


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

Thank you! I like your avatar, since we're on the topic.

I don't see why no previous experience is viewed negatively by some people, because I can't see it being an issue after a couple months at most. Even if it might be a bit awkward at the beginning, it doesn't take forever to adjust to having a relationship. I see it becoming irrelevant pretty quickly.


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## slyfox (Nov 18, 2007)

I'm a guy, Yes, Definitely. I have no dating experience, so I would be a hypocrite to judge them. Also, I think I would like a women, even more, who has very little or no experience.



> A Bonus Question &#8230; LOL&#8230; for those who've managed to read this far. How different do you think the result would be if this question was posted on a "normal" forum?


Depends on the forum. Many people would say that someone with no experience must have something wrong with them. Most people don't like/understand those who are different. I think they would be less understanding


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## isis (Apr 30, 2008)

Yes, why not? If I liked the guy it wouldn't matter to me.

And thanks to all the guys that voted 'yes'. You give me hope! LOL


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Thanks to those who said no. I'm newly 25! :lol


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

being in any kind of relationship scares me.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

No outright no answers yet, and only 4 "probably not" answers out of 45.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

i'd prefer my lover to be more experienced in relationships and sex, but not that it matters cuz I'd date almost anybody who's not crazy or threatening to me.


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## brealair (Aug 31, 2008)

LonelyEnigma said:


> I'm a guy, Yes, Definitely. Not only would I stay with her, but I would be even more excited about the future of our relationship. It would be a dream for me to meet someone who has no relationship experience. I would feel soooo much more comfortable being in a relationship with someone whose relationship experience level is similar to my own. I would not think she was weird or creepy &#8230;. I would think she is unique and wonderful.


 :ditto to the extreme.


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## kiss (Jul 25, 2008)

I'm a girl and voted definitely. I'm over 25 myself in the same situation. Although I have been on dates. I'd actually feel less uncomfortable if they guy was in the same predicament for similar reasons.


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## luminary_pustule (Sep 21, 2008)

Girl, yes, definately. I'd actually prefer it. I'd prefer if it was out of pickiness though, If that makes sense.


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## Lateralus (Oct 28, 2007)

Yes, definitely. I don't see any reason it would make a difference to me. In fact, it may actually be preferable since they can't compare you to any of their past partners. Besides, my longest relationship was about 3 months, so I wouldn't have much right to judge them on their lack of experience.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

No experience preferred with me!

My bet would be that this is the opposite in real life.


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## RubyTuesday (Aug 3, 2007)

It's interesting that a lot more men voted than women. And that percentage wise, males tend more to prefer virgins ...still.
Though, I'm not going to preach about it.

...I only fit the last two categories. Being that I've dated before -though it was nearly an entire decade ago :eyes :rain

I sort of wouldn't care too much about experience -physical or relationship wise. But I do care about what they are like now in their values and ideas -a great deal.

But I figure, more important is the question of whether they'd "get" me -which includes getting my relationship and intimacy problems.

A guy I knew on my Contiki tour last year seemed to 'get' me. We just clicked pretty well and he was quite considerate towards me in a friendly and unpatronizing kind of way. He also had a touch of social anxiety himself: having this peculiar self consciousness, that most people might not have picked up on. I did though. (He was a Jewish American, from South Beach Florida, studying Architecture too!! :lol ..._ker-ching!!_ ...joking -I'm joking! :spank :no :duck )


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

RubyTuesday said:


> It's interesting that a lot more men voted than women. And that percentage wise, males tend more to prefer virgins ...still.
> Though, I'm not going to preach about it.


Huh? :con

The question is whether you'd be willing to stay in a relationship with someone who has no prior relationship experience at age 25+. They may or may not be virgins, and the question doesn't regard preference.

The results show that, in regards to percentage, more guys would be willing to be with a partner who has no prior experience at 25+ than girls would. That's better news for girls than guys, but overall there is still a solid majority who wouldn't categorically dismiss someone based on that variable (no matter how good the person was otherwise).


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

I’m a guy, Probably Not

mainly because there will always be a curiousity on my partner to wonder how it would be like to be with someone else. id rather she have a few prior relationships


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