# Looks dont matter!



## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

when you lack self esteem and confidence. for women looks are everything.


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## hiimnotcool (Apr 28, 2009)

yes they do.


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

hiimnotcool said:


> yes they do.


Wow. A good looking guy agrees that looks matter. Good for you, hiim.


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## GnR (Sep 25, 2009)

They do matter, but to what end..? If you think you're going to find a fufilling relationship with crippling SA just because you're above average looking you're nuts. Confidence is king, and for me anyways, it only lasts if it comes from within.


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

I thought that looks mattered for everyone to some degree.It does to me at least and now I'm talking relationships and not friends.
I think psysical attraction is important if I want intimacy with that person,but personality and some similar interests is the most important.I can sit and say that I'm attracted to this and that,but when that person comes a long I can't really say that I am that hung up with wheter it fits or not as long as I like him.
When it comes to friends why would their appearance matter to me?I don't get that."Yeah,you're a great person and all,but sorry your not pretty enough to be my friend."That would seriously be weird,but I guess some (superficial) people are like that.


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## knuckles17 (Jun 27, 2009)

if looks matter im screwed :O


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## quiet0lady (Sep 29, 2009)

knuckles17 said:


> if looks matter im screwed :O


Eh, no one is ever really screwed. Obviously, looks/physical attraction do matter in a relationship to some degree, but that's all relative. Everyone is attracted to different things, so even if you don't consider yourself attractive, it doesn't mean others are going to be viewing you in the same way you view yourself.


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

quiet0lady said:


> Eh, no one is ever really screwed. Obviously, looks/physical attraction do matter in a relationship to some degree, but that's all relative. Everyone is attracted to different things, so even if you don't consider yourself attractive, it doesn't mean others are going to be viewing you in the same way you view yourself.


So would you go out with a lad if you didnt find him attractive?


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

And I didnt mean that in a bad way quitolady, I was just asking


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

MichaelWesten said:


> Looks do mean something, but they're highly overrated. There are many things that are a lot more important than what you look like. If we're talking the opposite sex, then things such as confidence, charisma, and ambition mean a whole lot more than if you have a nice face.


Well said!

I think that sums it up for me.

But a sense of vulnerability in a girl is SO attractive too. The chance to make everything better for her is soooo attractive.
The girls that attract me the most have a sad forlorn side to them, you just want to be the guy that helps to make them happy.
But thats just me

(and it NEVER works out)


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## quiet0lady (Sep 29, 2009)

Dub16 said:


> So would you go out with a lad if you didnt find him attractive?


 Depends. What kind of yearly salary are we talking about here? :b

Initially, there has to be some type of physical attraction there and that's something that people really have no control over... but what I find hot might be what someone else finds ugly (which is often the case). But would I go on a date with a guy I didn't find attractive? Yes, in fact the last guy I dated I didn't find particularly attractive at first but he had an awesome personality and after getting to know him I began feeling a lot more physically attracted to him. So I guess it just depends on the person.


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

MavenMI6Agent009 said:


> when you lack self esteem and confidence. for women looks are everything.


Lol..I thought it was the other way around..:roll


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

No its confidence.

But I have neither so I'm not worried about it.


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## Akane (Jan 2, 2008)

Looks matter but everyone likes a different look. Good looking to one person is boring to another. Ugly to one person is perfectly acceptable to another. So in the end it does end up not mattering so long as you have the opportunity to find someone who likes your look and you like theirs. Also there are plenty of people who don't mind some lack of confidence in exchange for other things. There are plenty of people who find confidence a bit of a turn off and over confidence probably annoys more people than lack of confidence. Very few people in this world are perfectly well adjusted and so very few are going to actually get along with perfectly adjusted partners.

The problem is you have to go find those people.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

Dub16 said:


> And I didnt mean that in a bad way quitolady, I was just asking


I would date someone I'm not attracted to physically and have done it. My past boyfriend, I didn't like his looks when I saw him in person. I was like ehh eww, but I looked past that and really got attracted to him. We've been together for a year.


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## Johnny_Genome (Nov 11, 2003)

Clearly SAD is way more a problem than attractiveness. Finding dates / SO / mates seems to be effortless and natural for the rest of the world, regardless of their perceived attractiveness.


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

When anyone lacks confidence, looks become more important. For guys, money helps also.


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## Louis (Jun 30, 2009)

Do looks matter? Yes. 

But we all like different things, so your looks dont matter, I know a hot girl with a huge guy, she likes big men, I know a short guy with a girl, I'm with someone right now who likes my chest hair (which I hate and am extremely conscious about)

You will find someone who likes you.


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

My ex hated his hair... he hated for me to touch it or run my fingers through it but it was such a turn on to be able to touch it, I loved his hair (did not care that it was receding or that he had that round bald spot at the back or that it was super curly when it would grow out - it was part of him and so I just loved it)... it was an intimate gesture that he could not handle... if it even seemed like I was gonna touch his hair I could feel his whole body tense up and if I was looking he would inevitably roll his eyes. I hated that.


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## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

Looks beat everything.

You're either born winning the genetic lottery with a ticket to heaven on earth, or you're born a slave serving the ruling class of good looking people.

/bitteruglyperson signing off


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

Looks dont count for much at the end of the day. Personality and confidence will get you a lot further. Looks only get you noticed and even then everyone is attracted to something different.


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## sherbert (Jun 24, 2005)

Stupidity really irks me. There are some intensely unintelligent girls that try to glide on their looks alone. That just doesn't fly with me. Still, there has to be some physical attraction to keep me interested. It's a balance between the two. Then there's the difference between a "just having fun" versus a serious relationship. The former is about full-filling the sexual aspect, while the latter as much more complex. In a serious relationship, the physical aspect matters much less than other important aspects of compatibility like wanting kids, career aspirations and demeanor. It still matters, but to a lesser degree.


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## Rasputin_1 (Oct 27, 2008)

They do. But its all part of an equation.


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

MavenMI6Agent009 said:


> when you lack self esteem and confidence. for women looks are everything.


You just completely contradicted yourself.


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## SloopjohnB (Jan 1, 2009)

If looks really mattered than why are there average looking people in relationships? Superficiality only gets you so far.


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## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

chemistry and personality matters. You'll get bored just looking at a person's good looks all day.


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## Popezilla (Jan 11, 2010)

Looks don't make up for a severe lack of confidence, trust me. People just think I'm really weird. It doesn't matter what you look like, SA holds you back.


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## SloopjohnB (Jan 1, 2009)

My question is this to people who think looks matter, does it make you happy to be in a relationship if the person is good-looking? If looks really are so important than why doesn't matter after a point when things change?


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## stars (Nov 20, 2009)

They do matter, in my opinion. Especially if you don't have enough social skills then they matter even more. Not saying that being good looking automatically would fix everything, but it would help a bit. Like a pretty person with a certain level of social skills will do at least a little bit better than an unpretty one with the same skills. This is what i've seen.


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

They only matter to the point that you aren't repulsed by the person you are with. After that then they don't matter because if you like someone, have chemistry with them and they make you laugh... it doesn't take long before you start to find them attractive physically even if you didn't at first and even if no one else does... heck, even if they don't think they are.


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

Looks matter for physical attraction, which is important in a romantic relationship. But the personality is what matters most. You have to love that person for who they are inside. What about when the person is old and not so attractive anymore, or what if they become disfigured in an accident? Then you have nothing.


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

caflme said:


> They only matter to the point that you aren't repulsed by the person you are with. After that then they don't matter because if you like someone, have chemistry with them and they make you laugh... it doesn't take long before you start to find them attractive physically even if you didn't at first and even if no one else does... heck, even if they don't think they are.


That's so true.


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

SloopjohnB said:


> My question is this to people who think looks matter, does it make you happy to be in a relationship if the person is good-looking? If looks really are so important than why doesn't matter after a point when things change?


I'll let you know after I've had a relationship.

If my point wasn't clear enough, I'll clarify. Looks are important not so much after the relationship has already begun, but rather to get your foot in the door. We have to generate interest somehow before we can give the person we're interested in a sense of what our personality is like. Yes, I know it's not required that we generate interest this way, but looks are a great way to do just that.

Personally, I've never really had a problem going out to bars, etc. and I've been at a point where I can talk to strange women that might approach me for some time now. Unfortunately, none are approaching me. I believe that if I looked better, and women approached me because of it, I would be dating and I might even be in a relationship right now.


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## GSYBE (Mar 15, 2010)

Being an obese (and somewhat ugly) person, you're damned right looks matter. If you're overweight or ugly, you've got a tremendous amount of compensating to do. You've got to be a real a**hole that picks on other weak , codependent individuals, or, if you're not a natural a**hole, have a very good sense of humor with high levels of confidence to get the interest of other people. Especially the opposite sex.

Being ugly does give you an important advantage, if it can be called that: you get to see the "real" side of most people much more quickly than a more attractive person would. You're going to be rejected or accepted right off the bat. In my school years, I knew immediately who my enemies and friends were based on how they treated me on first encounter. There was no "waiting period" to see if they truly liked me. I see so many of the attractive people who call each other "friends" but the relationship couldn't really be considered anything of the sort. More like a forced acquaintanceship out of necessity to not be alone. I'd rather have no friends at all (like I currently do) than get stuck with those who associate with me for any other reason than genuine fondness.

To loosely paraphrase a great comedian, Doug Stanhope:
_There is no unity amongst the ugly people. Why do we suffer at the feet of the beautiful people? WE'RE THE MAJORITY FOR CHRISTS SAKE! We don't nod at each other at the mall or use it at a bar to strike up conversation. "Hey you're ugly!" "Hey you're ugly too!" "What's up?" "Nice to meet you!" You'd much rather have someone call you a racial or sexual epithet than call you ugly. At least when someone calls you a racist word, you're gonna have some people come to your side to back you up. When someone calls you ugly, you wear that all by yourself!

_As someone mentioned before, you have to find the people that are tolerant, will accept you for who you are, and won't discount you after ten seconds upon first encounter. Unfortunately, those people are few and far between. My first and only girlfriend was very attractive but had the capacity to like me for who I am without worrying about how she'd be viewed to others by going out with a fat guy. I still have to pinch myself that the relationship actually occurred. I'm thankful for the seven-month experience, but it's also very depressing because she was such a rare breed of person. I don't think that's going to happen again, at least in terms of a romantic relationship.

Next time you meet a person who's uglier than you and is a decent human being, give them some extra attention. You have no idea how happy it will make them. They're going to need it.


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

*Hmm*

Do looks matter? Well, yes but not that much.


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## brianwarming (Nov 12, 2009)

SloopjohnB said:


> If looks really mattered than why are there average looking people in relationships? Superficiality only gets you so far.


Because average people are NOT unattractive !! AND they are in the majority. Average looking = OK looking.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

GSYBE said:


> Being an obese (and somewhat ugly) person, you're damned right looks matter. If you're overweight or ugly, you've got a tremendous amount of compensating to do. You've got to be a real a**hole that picks on other weak , codependent individuals, or, if you're not a natural a**hole, have a very good sense of humor with high levels of confidence to get the interest of other people. Especially the opposite sex.
> 
> Being ugly does give you an important advantage, if it can be called that: you get to see the "real" side of most people much more quickly than a more attractive person would. You're going to be rejected or accepted right off the bat. In my school years, I knew immediately who my enemies and friends were based on how they treated me on first encounter. There was no "waiting period" to see if they truly liked me. I see so many of the attractive people who call each other "friends" but the relationship couldn't really be considered anything of the sort. More like a forced acquaintanceship out of necessity to not be alone. I'd rather have no friends at all (like I currently do) than get stuck with those who associate with me for any other reason than genuine fondness.
> 
> ...


what he said.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

Looks start things off. different people find different things attractive. 

Looks are fine for the short term.

but for the long haul, attractiveness is just one facet of what should be a multi-faceted relationship. Different people need different things to feel that it's worth it to maintain a long term relationship with a particular person, and that seldom comes down to how someone looks. having said that, I think that once you are in a relationship, each partner has somewhat of a responsibility to try and look their best for the person they love, because physicality is as important as anything else.

I guess it depends on what you are looking for. A quick roll in the hay, a summer love? Looks matter.

A lifelong commitment? A whole, complete person, not just surface, who matches up with the things you believe you need to make it work.


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## brianwarming (Nov 12, 2009)

If *one* of the cards you were dealt is called "good looking", you're *halfway* there to a good love life, assuming the other cards are not TOTALLY crappy  ELSE you'll just have to settle for a lot of fun meaningless sex. 

If, on the other hand, you were dealt the "unattractive" card, .... then... well, good luck then, playing the "game", the rest of your cards BETTER be amazing !!!

Being good looking is always a BIG plus, SA or not.


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## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

GnR said:


> They do matter, but to what end..? *If you think you're going to find a fufilling relationship with crippling SA just because you're above average looking you're nuts.* Confidence is king, and for me anyways, it only lasts if it comes from within.


Do you know how many times some of us have been called cute by girls at school, without it becoming anything more ?

I agree. A man can look like ... Will Smith but if he is not confident (or ultra rich) it won't help his dating game. The only exception is if you are rich.

If you are rich handsome and shy, then you become "*the mysterious intriguing bruce wayne type"
*
However, if you are handsome and shy, then you're just a _*cute puppy*_.


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

Not all people are that superficial that they won't look further than your looks,but I guess no one will belive me when I say that..
Also I wouldn't be interested in someone if they had a lot of money.All the guys I've dated has been guys with jobs that has a lower income..

I'll say it again:Not all people are superficial and stupid and only care about other peoples looks!

Also I bet that most of you people who call yourself ugly aren't,and there will always be someone out there that find you interesting..


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## brianwarming (Nov 12, 2009)

Thinking out loud here :

How can *attractive *people say looks do NOT matter ? How would they know ? (serious question)..... Yes, I'm looking @ some of the people in here !


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## Rasputin_1 (Oct 27, 2008)

brianwarming said:


> Thinking out loud here :
> 
> How can *attractive *people say looks do NOT matter ? How would they know ? (serious question)..... Yes, I'm looking @ some of the people in here !


Anyone who says looks dont matter at all is fooling themselves I agree. They matter, but i've met hot girls whose personality totally sucks and they become so much less attractive. And cute/average girls who have awesome personalities and it makes them so much hotter.

But if there is no initial attraction then there probably wont be any romance.


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

What is attractive?Is there some universal rule that says that some people are attractive and some not?I don't think so.
I don't find myself attractive and I don't live up to the standards that one sees in the media.
Attractive,average or not attractive,but all I can say that for me in the few relationships I've had they've varied a lot in how they look:short,tall,skinny,average,a little extra and so on.
You don't have to have a sixpack and be tall and handsome or whatever they say to find someone to love.
There are other things that make a person interesting than them being good looking.With that said I wouldn't be with someone that I found hideous,but seems like people think that the standard set in the media is the one all have to live up to and if you don't your doomed to a life of loneliness and misery..

But this is just my view on the case and people are different.Some are sadly just superficial and make looks the most important thing when looking for a relationship..
Enough said from me,don't want to overtake the whole thread..lol..


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## Rasputin_1 (Oct 27, 2008)

Invisible_girl said:


> What is attractive?Is there some universal rule that says that some people are attractive and some not?I don't think so.
> I don't find myself attractive and I don't live up to the standards that one sees in the media.
> Attractive,average or not attractive,but all I can say that for me in the few relationships I've had they've varied a lot in how they look:short,tall,skinny,average,a little extra and so on.
> You don't have to have a sixpack and be tall and handsome or whatever they say to find someone to love.
> ...


Not sure how much weight I'd give this, like you said its different from person to person. But I think certain things are programmed biologically.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physical_attractiveness


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

Rasputin_1 said:


> Not sure how much weight I'd give this, like you said its different from person to person. But I think certain things are programmed biologically.
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physical_attractiveness


I know about all that crap lol..But I don't belive that it's programmed and symmetry is boring..(or maybe it's just me that's weird.It might be  )


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## brianwarming (Nov 12, 2009)

Invisible_girl said:


> I know about all that crap lol..But I don't belive that it's programmed and symmetry is boring..(or maybe it's just me that's weird.It might be  )


Well, you ARE from Norway


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

brianwarming said:


> Well, you ARE from Norway


Lol..Yup,that's probably it


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## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

To paraphrase someone before :

If you think handsomeness can compensate for incredible social awkwardness, you are fooling yourself.


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

VIncymon said:


> To paraphrase someone before :
> 
> If you think handsomeness can compensate for incredible social awkwardness, you are fooling yourself.


Then can handsomeness compensate for light social awkwardness?


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## brianwarming (Nov 12, 2009)

joinmartin said:


> <a LOT of text>


I don't really see what *I* wrote is so different from what others wrote ! I just *tried *to be a little creative 

I was just saying :
* Being handsome/pretty is beneficial in the dating game, being .... I really don't like the U word !!! ...being physical unattractive is not beneficial.
* Looks are not *everything*, but important.
* Good looking people can easier get sex.

That's the "translation"


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

This is pretty interesting, but I can't say that I'm complaining about it. I put up a new primary photo of myself on OkCupid, with me standing upright in mysterious lighting, showing off a bit of muscle under a tight shirt, and looking pretty good a few days ago. With my old photos, I was getting 2 visits per week, now I'm getting 2-3 per day. Also I initiated a conversation with a really intelligent and beautiful woman, when with my older pics, I got 1 positive response in the 50+ cold messages I sent out. I also received a bit of initial interest from another woman, who is pretty, but I'm not sure about her intelligence. Well then, here's motivation enough to keep me working out. I'm off to the gym now.


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

brianwarming said:


> Thinking out loud here :
> 
> How can *attractive *people say looks do NOT matter ? How would they know ? (serious question)..... Yes, I'm looking @ some of the people in here !


So if attractive people say looks don't matter, and unattractive people say looks are everything, then I think the logical conclusion is that people at SAS have self-esteem and self-worth issues, which is entirely unsurprising.


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## Johnny_Genome (Nov 11, 2003)

What most people usually mean when they say "looks don't matter" is "looks don't matter, as long as you are _somewhere_ in the range of what I find attractive".


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## GSYBE (Mar 15, 2010)

Johnny_Genome said:


> What most people usually mean when they say "looks don't matter" is "looks don't matter, as long as you are _somewhere_ in the range of what I find attractive".


YES! Bingo.


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## NotRealName (Feb 28, 2010)

This might sound odd, but once you get to know someone a lot more, they truly do get more attractive.


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

Johnny_Genome said:


> What most people usually mean when they say "looks don't matter" is "looks don't matter, as long as you are _somewhere_ in the range of what I find attractive".


Seems like it to me too.



NotRealName said:


> This might sound odd, but once you get to know someone a lot more, they truly do get more attractive.


I feel the same way.


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## brianwarming (Nov 12, 2009)

NotRealName said:


> This might sound odd, but once you get to know someone a lot more, they truly do get more attractive.


Yes, mother nature is an amazing programmer


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## stylicho (Nov 8, 2003)

There is a reason why people plant flowers and not weeds.


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## carefree (Nov 16, 2008)

Johnny_Genome said:


> What most people usually mean when they say "looks don't matter" is "looks don't matter, as long as you are _somewhere_ in the range of what I find attractive".


i agree...but luckily people have varying tastes and what is attractive is subjective. so at least someone has to find you attractive (gosh i hope that's true)



NotRealName said:


> This might sound odd, but once you get to know someone a lot more, they truly do get more attractive.


literally exactly how i feel. The more beautiful a person is on the inside (nice, respectful, compassionate, etc) the more beautiful they get on the outside. The converse is also true, if someone is beautiful/handsome on the outside but isn't nice (rude, teases others, arrogant, is manipulative etc) they actually become unattractive to me. They literally morph - I'm not sure why, but I think that maybe subconsciously I focus on their physical flaws more than I did when I first met them.


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## andy0128 (Dec 19, 2003)

I think looks are important but not everything. If you're a handsome guy i'd imagine there's a greater likelihood of attracting a woman than for an ugly guy. I think thats generally true. However, i believe you can be an average looking guy with a good personality and be more attractive to women than say a good looking guy with SA for example. In my experiences i have found that to be true. If you're socially inept it can turn a lot of women off very quickly even if they liked how you looked initially.


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## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

I think looks matter to a certain extent. Looks matter for the initial attraction, but I think they shouldn't be more important than personality. Having a horrible personality can make the most beautiful people look ugly. Have SAD is hard for me because I cannot fully showcase my personality to the opposite sex.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

looks dont matter because I said so. end of thread.


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## metallica2147 (Feb 15, 2010)

knuckles17 said:


> if looks matter im screwed :O


LOL same here


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## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

They matter to a certain degree.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

meow meow meow meow. meow meow mewo meow. meow meow mewo meow meow meow meow meow. me-me meooooow


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## Rasputin_1 (Oct 27, 2008)

It also depends on what your looking for, relationship vs fling.


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## dasdasfdasfasdfsa (Sep 23, 2009)

ya well i am exhibit A that looks haven't gotten me anywhere... looks aren't everything!


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

flyingspatula said:


> ya well i am exhibit A that looks haven't gotten me anywhere... looks aren't everything!


Exhibit A meet exhibit B *wave*


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## MrWorry (Sep 5, 2009)

Looks 100% does matter!

Like someone else pointed out, if you are not good looking you need to make up for it greatly with confidence or something else.

Put a bunch of good looking guys around a not so good looking guy and i bet you the one who will be standing alone.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Looks are important for about 30 seconds.
What is going to happen in 20 years? A little wrinkle here, a little sag there. Face it, "beauty" fades. Personality goes on.


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## lde22 (Oct 19, 2009)

Has anyone heard of the 80/20 rule? A guys attraction for a women is based 80% on looks and 20% on personality whereas a womens attraction for a man is based 80% on personality and 20% on looks. Do you women agree with that statement? I think it's somewhat accurate that looks are more important to men than women. Why else would men look at so much porn and not women?

But if your an ugly guy and worried about not getting an attractive women just become rich. Then no matter how ugly you are you will get hot women depending on how much money you have.

I remember my economics teacher saying that there was a study done that showed that blond hair on a women is equivalent to a guy earning a certain amount of money (I forgot how much) in terms of attraction.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

Looks only matter to shallow ppl, and alot of people aren't that way.


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## 4realguy (Mar 11, 2010)

looks do matter but whats on the inside matters more in the long run anyway would you rather be with someone that you think is really hot and makes you feel like crap and treats you bad or someone that is average that makes you feel good and treats you good


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

lde22 said:


> Has anyone heard of the 80/20 rule? A guys attraction for a women is based 80% on looks and 20% on personality whereas a womens attraction for a man is based 80% on personality and 20% on looks. Do you women agree with that statement? I think it's somewhat accurate that looks are more important to men than women. Why else would men look at so much porn and not women?
> 
> But if your an ugly guy and worried about not getting an attractive women just become rich. Then no matter how ugly you are you will get hot women depending on how much money you have.
> 
> I remember my economics teacher saying that there was a study done that showed that blond hair on a women is equivalent to a guy earning a certain amount of money (I forgot how much) in terms of attraction.


I don't agree with that statement.It might apply for some women and some men,but not all.
And with the porn thing,I think it's more common for guys to admit that they look at porn and enjoy it.That's how people make it out to be at least.I think a lot of women nowadays enjoy porn just as much as men do.It's just harder for some to admit it 

I think it's old fashioned to just assume that women don't do this or that while men do or the other way around.

And I think only stupid and shallow people care about how rich someone is.

I think all this is just assumptions who applies for a certain number of people,but then again a lot of things do that.That doesn't mean that it applies for all.


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## xJoshx (Apr 29, 2010)

knuckles17 said:


> if looks matter im screwed :O


Put me in this category as well !

I know I personally don't take looks too much into account, as long as they look ok its fine for me. But personality is a huge must.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

xJoshx said:


> Put me in this category as well !
> 
> I know I personally don't take looks too much into account, as long as they look ok its fine for me. But personality is a huge must.


Connection is so damn important. Looks will get you in bed with the person, but a good connection will make you want to stay the night and talk!

^
Or so I've heard/pretend I know what I'm saying


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## shynesshellasucks (May 10, 2008)

There are other things to consider, but looks may be the most important thing in creating attraction and getting you laid. It also helps in not setting your standards too low when looking for a partner.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Appearance is only one of a few important aspects of a relationship, but unfortunately I do believe it is the most important when it comes to first impressions and "getting your foot in the door" or so to speak.

That being said if you are confident in yourself enough to say the right things than obviously that can also work in your favour.

Unfortunately for me I lack both of those and experience has shown me that I pretty much need to get to know someone over a decent length of time so that they can get a good idea of my personality etc to make the decision whether or not that are attracted to me or not. In the end that is the most important aspect and what keeps a healthy relationship alive but god damn it makes it difficult to actually find someone to begin with.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

I met a girl recently who I had minimal attraction physically to, but I talked to her enough and now I genuinely am attracted to her. It had nothing to do with her appearance either.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

hmm.


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## NotRealName (Feb 28, 2010)

Looks do matter, in all honestly when a girl stands out to me, its usually has to do with their looks because I never get to speak with them, haha. So, by default, looks are the first thing, then if I get the chance to be friends or talk, then thats where the personality comes in. After awhile though, after you know them really well, personality defeats looks.


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## Stanpy (May 9, 2010)

This is speaking as an unattractive girl: Looks *DO* matter. Not a lot. But they definitely do play a part in _attraction_ and the _presentation _of a person.

If two people of the opposite (or same if you're gay/bi) sex were to enter the room that you didn't know, one was a person you considered attractive, the other not, you can't honestly say you'd not be more interested in the attractive one. I know I would. I'm not by any means overselective when it comes to friendships/relationships but I do notice I'm more likely to get interested in a boy I consider good-looking than a guy I don't. It's nature.

But on the other hand, I'm more than open to date a boy I don't initially find attractive if I got to know him as a friend, etc. Because you know what? Looks get old, and you _do_ get used to them. Personality definitely prevails over looks in the *long-run*.

Nobody has to have supermodel looks to succeed in dating. Honestly, if that were the case, the human race would be virtually nonexistent. I think many of us forget that. Not all couples are "hot-hot" and "ugly-ugly". I've seen people I consider unattractive going out with people that are attractive, such as this cute boy I knew who was going out with a fat girl. I guess what I'm saying is, _beauty really is the eye of the beholder_. Good-looking to me simply means someone who presents themself well, and has a good overall style.

I don't think anybody is really 'ugly' either (in the universal opinion sense) except for those severely deformed or disfigured (no offence). But we all see celebrities. For example, lots of girls think Zac Efron is hot, but then many also think he's ugly. Same goes for Megan Fox, Channing Tatum, and so on. These are celebrities, but the same principle applies to us "normal" people too.


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## Josh90 (Aug 22, 2008)

I met a girl 3 years ago in college who I connected with but wasnt physically attracted too, I now wish I went further with her.


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## Georgina 22 (Jan 4, 2009)

I like good looking guys. But if you are really funny and can make me laugh then I don't mind what the guy looks like.


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