# Any and all social interaction exhausts me. I don’t care to have friends anymore.



## CantGoOn (May 19, 2021)

Today I was playing a video game and a guy helped me with a quest, we hang out for a while then eventually we’re voice chatting on discord. I was soooooooo bored!!! He kept talking about random things that I don’t care about. The only thing I enjoyed talking about were our cats and sharing pictures of our cats. I also enjoyed listening to his story about his failed attempt to buy drugs, which was really cute and interesting. Other than that, I was bored to death. He was talking about The Office, Bon Jovi, a whole bunch of media references that I don’t get, and so on. I just don’t care about that stuff! I had to pretend I understood the references when I didn’t, having to fake laugh was so exhausting. I actually recently learned how to master my fake laugh really well but it takes a lot of effort. I’m sure he had a great time just blabbering about anything and everything, but truthfully I didn’t. I didn’t know how to end the conversation so I abruptly said “brb” and went afk, doing nothing in real life. Then as soon as I start playing without talking on discord, he sees that I’m back and starts talking again. So I had to tell him I gotta go and it was nice talking to him, then I logged off and turned off my computer. I didn’t want to be honest because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, plus he said he’d always help with quests and stuff. Also I was selling him in-game items for a discount but I don’t want to do that anymore because I lose gold that way when I could be selling for a much higher price. So really I don’t want to talk to this guy again without being too harsh.

I realize that I don’t want friends. I don’t care to have them. They exhaust me and drain my energy. This wasn’t even a bad or toxic conversation. It was very nice and friendly, but I don’t care for it!! They always talk about their media and music and there’s a 100% chance I’ll know nothing about it. There was a period in my life where I’d try to consume the most popular media just so I can talk to normal people. I’d force myself to watch these boring movies and shows, listen to ugly music, read one single sentence of a book before I put it down, try to learn about all these things I couldn’t care less about, just so I’ll be like them. But I can’t bother anymore! I just don’t careeee!! I’m not going to waste my life doing something I don’t want to do just to have something to talk about. I’m not getting paid for that, so why bother?!
I remember a coworker who kept talking to me about video games. I pretty much only play 3 games. Every single time we talked, he always talked about new and different video games. Over and over and over again. I’m like, no I don’t play that. “I haven’t played that, what’s it like?” I’d sit there not listening while he explained it to me and I ended it with “ah that sounds so cool! I’ll check it out!” I never checked it out. He kept telling me to play Destiny 2, and each time I said “I’ll get to it/I haven’t gotten to it.” Ughhhh. And again I don’t find it offensive or anything! It’s just uninteresting. I tend to not like what most people like and vice versa. But that means I have nothing to add in conversations.

They also talk about events and things they did. I have nothing to add because I stay inside all day, doing the same thing over and over again. What can I say? “Uhhh I stayed inside all day and did the same thing I always do. I got very drunk and ate crap food then got naked, went to sleep, woke up and did it again. The end.” Like can you imagine someone saying that when asked “what did you do over the weekend?” Just stop asking me dumb questions!!

There was only one guy I genuinely enjoyed talking to this past year. It was like 6-7 months ago. He had a super cute accent and I really liked him, but he lived on the other side of the globe. Either way he didn’t like me like that. We talked about everything, our lives, our hopes, our values, etc. We voice chatted for hours and hours for multiple days and I didn’t get bored. Well the problem was that I kept trying to make him my online boyfriend which was something he actually wasn’t interested in  so I got sad about that, but I kept on trying even though he rejected me so I was basically virtually sexually harassing him. One day I got drunk and went really overboard then I was mean to him, which made him block me on discord and in-game. He refused to talk to me again even though I was sending him in-game mail (which I’m embarrassed about now) until I finally gave up. Honestly I can respect that he has boundaries, good for him. So that was the end of that. 

I can’t with this normal people stuff.


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## Socialmisfits (May 14, 2021)

I only read the first paragraph because I can’t be arsed with reading all of it. This might sound rude but it just points out I know what you mean. Social interactions bore me as well but I believe I might be depressed which would have an influence


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## altghost (Jul 13, 2012)

> They exhaust me and drain my energy. This wasn’t even a bad or toxic conversation. It was very nice and friendly, but I don’t care for it!! They always talk about their media and music and there’s a 100% chance I’ll know nothing about it.


Do you feel this way when you find someone who wants to ask about your interests, or if you have an interest in common? You seem like a pretty generous, caring individual that hasn't got much energy left, tbh. So it makes me think you're having a problem with how forced and fake meeting new people is. I can relate to wondering what the point is, when it feels like unpaid work to pay attention to what makes other people comfortable, when you yourself are only getting drained. Just based on how you talk about what your average day looks like, I wonder if you're craving some kind of positive connection with other people that you just can't seem to get to. 

You actually sound really relatable :\


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## jojy1 (May 31, 2021)

It can be hard to invest in people and building relationships when you’re only experience with people is that they’ll eventually become arseholes anyway. It feels like everyone already has their people


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## jojy1 (May 31, 2021)

Or maybe I just can’t get past their meanness. I feel so different


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

I've gotten to this point a few years ago. It's rather unsettling. But being content with it has also me a happier person overall in regards to this. I was no longer bitter and upset. And being constantly stressing out at why this friend didn't like me and why another person has also cut off from me etc. with my insecurity always on overdrive. However, seeing others around me with social plans still bothers me time to time.


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## donistired (Nov 29, 2018)

I think I've gotten to the point that I don't mind being alone anymore.


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## CantGoOn (May 19, 2021)

Been on a call for exactly 7 hours and 23 minutes and I can’t hang up. 🤯 but he’s kind of growing on me...


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## Greenmacaron (Jul 20, 2019)

I value peace and quiet and sometimes feel like social interactions drain me. When I'm being social I feel pressure to keep the other person interested and then feel bad in case I feel like I've done a bad job. I over analyse and I can be very self critical. I tend to think the people I've been interacting with are now thinking negatively about me and I get a bit paranoid.

I understand being bored about people chatting about random pointless stuff. I tend to like talking about meaningful things in life but a lot of the time I get stuck with people who want to tell me about the new dress they bought or how drunk they got on the weekend. I'm sure they are still cool people but not really types I can relate to.

It's got to the point where I would prefer to eat lunch in my car than in the staffroom


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