# How can I stop thinking that EVERYONE is looking at/talking about me?



## Family Guy

Hi. I'm new here and thought I'd try these forums. 

Why do I keep thinking everyone is looking at me or talking bad about me? When I'm walking in the hallways at school, I always feel like they are talking about me. When I hear laughter or whispering behind my back, I always assume the people are talking about me. When I'm in class, and if someone says "he" or "that kid" or a word that sound similiar to my name, I always think that I'm being talked about. When I see things thrown close to me (but misses) I still think that they were aiming towards me.

This happens when I'm outside too. When I go for a walk, I can't help but think that everyone is looking from their homes at me, thinking "oh boy, what an idiot!" Or even when I see people playing outside, I always sense that they are talking about me as a walk by. Lol. When I hear a car horn, I always think that it's directed to me only.

This is making me not want to go in public. I hate it! I may sound crazy, lol, but I can't help it. I know this is irrational thinking. I'm still trying to overcome this, but how do you overcome this if you have a similar problem? Please, I need help and adive! Thank you! :teeth


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## Nickx

we all face it, just gotta suck it up and realise its all in your head.... easier said than done tho


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## Luba Secor

I've had this problem at various points in my life, some times worse than others. It is an awful feeling. I wish I could tell you what to do. I found a really good book in a used bookstore called The Action Approach by George Weinberg and it had a chapter on paranoia that put it all into perspective for me. I think the book is out of print but if you are able to find it online it might give you some insight.


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## Recipe For Disaster

realize youre not that important.


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## sarafinanickelbocker

I don't have much advise for you as I have not mastered my demons. 

Thoughts:

- tune out and/or think about something else (preferably positive)

- consider the other possibilities (they're talking about someone else, that wad of paper was intended for the trash can, that person doesn't have a reason to talk bad about you, etc.)


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## TheCanadian1

Welcome to the forums!!



Recipe For Disaster said:


> realize youre not that important.


That's how I coped. Nobody really cares about me or what I do... so why should I worry about them and what they're doing?


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## mind_games

I had this problem and still do but it's very minor these days. What really helped and still does is to take a moment to stop and look around you. Look at the people around you. You'll notice that people are lost in their own world and no one really pays much attention to you. 

At first you can do this from a 'safe' place, ie a place from where people don't notice you looking at them. Example from your apartment window, from a park bench or whatever. After you get comfortable with this, you can even stop at the side of the pavement and look at the people walking towards you and past you. Have a real good look. A few people will glance at you because you're in their path or field of vision, but no one really has that, "I'm gonna laugh at you mockingly the moment you act weird" look on their face. They are too busy with their own lives and have their own problems.

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Another way that might help is to purposefully observe your environment. Another SAS poster had this idea of thinking about 5 things you can see, five things you can hear, 5 you can smell etc. Or look at 5 girls/cars/whatever you find attractive. What are five reasons you find each girl/car attractive? Play little games in your head like that. By purposefully doing that you drown out those SA/'I'm being watched' thoughts.


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## sarafinanickelbocker

mind_games said:


> I had this problem and still do but it's very minor these days. What really helped and still does is to take a moment to stop and look around you. Look at the people around you. You'll notice that people are lost in their own world and no one really pays much attention to you.
> 
> At first you can do this from a 'safe' place, ie a place from where people don't notice you looking at them. Example from your apartment window, from a park bench or whatever. After you get comfortable with this, you can even stop at the side of the pavement and look at the people walking towards you and past you. Have a real good look. A few people will glance at you because you're in their path or field of vision, but no one really has that, "I'm gonna laugh at you mockingly the moment you act weird" look on their face. They are too busy with their own lives and have their own problems.
> 
> -------
> 
> Another way that might help is to purposefully observe your environment. Another SAS poster had this idea of thinking about 5 things you can see, five things you can hear, 5 you can smell etc. Or look at 5 girls/cars/whatever you find attractive. What are five reasons you find each girl/car attractive? Play little games in your head like that. By purposefully doing that you drown out those SA/'I'm being watched' thoughts.


Hey, these are good ideas.


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## Tycan

I have this same problem. While I have not completely gotten rid of it I have managed to tone it down.

This wont fix the problem however it will help. What i do is just not care. If you can walk by that person that you think is talking about you and just laugh it off it will relieve alot of the stress.


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## notyourstar

I tend to have this problem too. My old therapist recommended I remind myself how I usually am not thinking negatively about people etc., so it's unlikely that they're doing the same to me. And at least when it comes to strangers, it doesn't really matter what they think anyway.

I don't always do a good job of remembering that stuff though.


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## candrnow

Have you tried listening to an MP3 player? That used to help me a lot walking down hallways in high school.


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## Jaynie

I've tried thinking of the absolute worst possible thing they could say about me even if they *were* talking about me (which is unlikely) which generally amounts to very superficial stuff that I'm not worried about. It doesn't really work for people you like, but if you walk passed a group of giggling girls or whatever it helps. (Usually the worst they could possibly say about me is "She's unfashionable" or "She's making an odd face", neither of which bother me when I think about it logically. It's just the instinct that makes me paranoid, I guess.)


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## kos

Your first step is understanding that people _are_ looking at you and people _are_ judging you, just not to the degree that you think. Don't you judge other people when you look at them? Why is it that you can judge others but you don't like it when they judge you. Anyways, admiting to yourself that people are looking at you is your first step to overcoming your problem.


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## habsfan31

Take a good look at them, notice that no one is even looking at you, let alone talking about you.


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## XbrokenpaperdollX

My therapist always told me that in reality people are more concerned with themselves. I know that. But obv. with SA, we are going to feel like we are the focus of everyone. Yet, even if something _was_ said about you or you were looked at, 5 minutes later they're not even going to give a crap about you anymore. Most people who are that way are more wrapped up in themsevles anyways. I still struggle with this problem after some people actually did say awful things about me and make me this big deal (long story), but what my therapist said is true and I just need to realize everyone else has more on their mind than me and what I am doing.


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## PickaxeMellie

mind_games said:


> Another way that might help is to purposefully observe your environment. Another SAS poster had this idea of thinking about 5 things you can see, five things you can hear, 5 you can smell etc. Or look at 5 girls/cars/whatever you find attractive. What are five reasons you find each girl/car attractive? Play little games in your head like that. By purposefully doing that you drown out those SA/'I'm being watched' thoughts.


Although this sounds like a good idea, I'm usually too freaked out when I start getting paranoid about the perceived others' attention. I will have to try it out, but I can't count on myself to remember.



kos said:


> Your first step is understanding that people are looking at you and people are judging you, just not to the degree that you think. Don't you judge other people when you look at them? Why is it that you can judge others but you don't like it when they judge you. Anyways, admiting to yourself that people are looking at you is your first step to overcoming your problem.


This, unfortunately, is why I have such a problem. I have such a low-self opinion that I do think others are disassembling my sentences and mocking them. It's not like I'm any different. I've been trying to lay off of mocking others and just be positive around strangers, but I always return to my ineffective little defense mechanism.


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## wvmtnmama

I too, have a slight problem in this area. While i don't feel this on the street, I do feel it at work sometimes. I try to tell myself it's my disfunction and that it's not really happening. I purposely look when I pass folks and smile, they usually smile back. I make it a point to say good morning and they usually say it back. I engage them by asking about their weekend and they ask back. I look at their responses to me carefully and measure by that. This helps to a great degree, but it still happens to a small degree. I say a slight problem because when I am not engaging with others I don't have the problem, only afterwards. I worry what they think, but when the responses seem positive I'm good, when the responses seem negative, I crawl into a hole.


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## Adversary

SA makes you think you have the ability to read peoples mind and Predict the future. It also makes you think that everyone is focusing on you in a negative way. You have to realize that all these ways of thinking are unrealistic. You can prevent them by looking around you at the people and your surroundings. Listen to whats being said around you. Focusing on anything else to prevent self-focus which is what causes you to have these negative thoughts in your head. When you do get negative thoughts, try to evaluate them logically. You can do this by analyzing and challenging these thoughts, so that they can gradually get replace with thoughts that are more realistic and positive.


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## Diacetylmorphine

I've been experiencing this lately, and I don't know why. People seem to be laughing everywhere I go. It sounds a little paranoid/crazy but I sometimes assume they must be laughing at me.


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## kla76

I feel the same way. I bring my ipod & headphones with me anywhere I go by myself. It really helps to focus on the music and everyone else just becomes a blur.


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## Evolution

Family Guy said:


> Hi. I'm new here and thought I'd try these forums.
> 
> Why do I keep thinking everyone is looking at me or talking bad about me? When I'm walking in the hallways at school, I always feel like they are talking about me. When I hear laughter or whispering behind my back, I always assume the people are talking about me. When I'm in class, and if someone says "he" or "that kid" or a word that sound similiar to my name, I always think that I'm being talked about. When I see things thrown close to me (but misses) I still think that they were aiming towards me.
> 
> This happens when I'm outside too. When I go for a walk, I can't help but think that everyone is looking from their homes at me, thinking "oh boy, what an idiot!" Or even when I see people playing outside, I always sense that they are talking about me as a walk by. Lol. When I hear a car horn, I always think that it's directed to me only.
> 
> This is making me not want to go in public. I hate it! I may sound crazy, lol, but I can't help it. I know this is irrational thinking. I'm still trying to overcome this, but how do you overcome this if you have a similar problem? Please, I need help and adive! Thank you! :teeth


Its all in your head. If you want an actual cure I recommend taking up a martial art. I do Thai Boxing and its pretty brutal but once you've got the hang of it you realise you can deal with most situations where you feel physically threatened.


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## Temujin

I like the safe place idea, proves to you that people just act like that. Nothing to do with you, people looking at each other, or making jokes with each other all the time. 

And try to keep reminding yourself, that your not some sort of freak, there are people with major disfigurements etc. and they all have to walk around the streets. 

Also think about how many people you pass see etc. it's not possible to keep track of them all, and no one is (except the government ).


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## CopadoMexicano

Family Guy said:


> Hi. I'm new here and thought I'd try these forums.
> 
> Why do I keep thinking everyone is looking at me or talking bad about me? When I'm walking in the hallways at school, I always feel like they are talking about me. When I hear laughter or whispering behind my back, I always assume the people are talking about me. When I'm in class, and if someone says "he" or "that kid" or a word that sound similiar to my name, I always think that I'm being talked about. When I see things thrown close to me (but misses) I still think that they were aiming towards me.
> 
> This happens when I'm outside too. When I go for a walk, I can't help but think that everyone is looking from their homes at me, thinking "oh boy, what an idiot!" Or even when I see people playing outside, I always sense that they are talking about me as a walk by. Lol.* When I hear a car horn, I always think that it's directed to me only.
> *
> This is making me not want to go in public. I hate it! I may sound crazy, lol, but I can't help it. I know this is irrational thinking. I'm still trying to overcome this, but how do you overcome this if you have a similar problem? Please, I need help and adive! Thank you! :teeth


Ive been having the same problems lately that everything is directed at me and is correlated. lol i know this is an old thread but i thought i give it a reply since i can relate to its psychotic symptoms/paranoid symptoms.


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