# Anyone find cutting off a toxic person/persons out of their lives...



## Dan the man (Jul 4, 2013)

Helped relieve a lot of anxiety? I'm sure most people on here have had someone somewhat close to them they could do without and finds only drags them down mentally. Did cutting them off or gradually lessening contact with this person help a lot?


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## Ventura (May 5, 2009)

Yes. (I did this in the past) I felt bad doing it at the time (guilt) but now realize it was the best thing I could of done.


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## Icestorm (Mar 17, 2012)

I actually just did this exact thing yesterday. It's really relieved a lot of my anxiety, and I feel a lot more calm, although I do feel bad for it.


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## Richard Pawgins (Jul 11, 2013)

I think someone has recently done this to me



kinda sucks but thus is life................I don't need people anyway


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## Dan the man (Jul 4, 2013)

Black Dagger said:


> I actually just did this exact thing yesterday. It's really relieved a lot of my anxiety, and I feel a lot more calm, although I do feel bad for it.


Yeah, this person doesn't mean to harm so I'd feel a little bad, but ugggh definitely feel I'd be a better man without them or with limited interactions


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## always starting over (Mar 15, 2013)

Yes. It's too bad that they're always the type of people who want to be friends with me in the first place.


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## Dan the man (Jul 4, 2013)

always starting over said:


> Yes. It's too bad that they're always the type of people who want to be friends with me in the first place.


LOL! Yes, the irony of life people we want to like us and notice us usually don't but people we want no part of always do!


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## vanilla90 (Jun 22, 2010)

Yes. Worked a charm, anxiety lifted a lot.


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## TrueAstralKnight (Jun 23, 2012)

I tried to but my loneliness got the better of me and I ended up keeping her in my life. Not like I have any other girls willing to kiss me.


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## coffeeandflowers (Mar 2, 2013)

I am relieved at first...but I kept doing it throughout the years....so, now I am almost all out of people to cut out of my life. This is not what I really wanted. Burning bridges comes back to bite you later. Still, if the person is really toxic then there is no other choice I guess. Instead of cutting them completely off though, I'd suggest just hanging out with them less and go from there. You never know when you might need them for something.


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## asphodel (Apr 30, 2013)

God, yes. I try to be sympathetic since I know we're all kind of awful sometimes and it's not always intentional, but some people are completely unreasonable. I've been drawing them in again and wondering what I'm doing to get on their radar.

I tend to cut people off cold. If you've heard of gaslighting, I was friends with someone who was doing it recently and it messed with my head. I try to avoid giving people who seem suspicious the chance to get under my skin.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Pretty much everyone.


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## sanspants08 (Oct 21, 2008)

I've only done it twice in my life, but it was very necessary. My last ex just wouldn't leave me alone and kept hounding me for money until the cops showed up at her place...and she took off on the run (this was December). My family actually threw me a "Jess is gone" party lol.


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## Anatomica (May 23, 2005)

Yes, and it's worth it because my state of mind became a lot more positive.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

What exactly is a toxic person?


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## Use Your Illusion (Apr 10, 2008)

In the process of doing this right now. It was someone I trusted a lot and opened up to a lot but gradually the friendship was becoming more about me giving and her taking. Felt really good to not worry about her anymore.

It's been about 4 months now, deleted her off of FB first, she hasn't noticed, apparently. Still can't quite let go completely, text her on occasion, I think 2/3 times in the 4 months, but just general things, never to tell her anything that's going on with my life. I think it's important to only share as much as the other person gives to you. Looking back now I realise whilst I was opening up and telling her all this "deep" stuff trying to be close friends, I never really knew anything about her beyond stuff you might read on Facebook.


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## Brilliantly Beta (Aug 5, 2012)

There was this girl that I was supposed to date ages ago. She kept standing me up though then messaged me saying oh if someone fancied you but only wanted you for sex would you still be ok with that? I was like uh nope. We still remained sort of friends....I say sort of in the respect that like from then on she was a massive f***ing leech on my back. Always phoning me at like* 3 in the morning! *just to talk about this guy that she fancied and how she had slept with this guy or that guy or how this or that has gone wrong.

Got shot a couple of months ago. She tried phoning me when I was spending family time, I just ignored her. Then she phoned again right before I had to walk my dog and I said oh can you call me back in 15 mins? She then got really funny and said no you always do this I'm not calling you back! and hung up on me. So i text her saying would it kill you to wait 15 mins jeez! To which I got a very lovely text saying oh f*** off.

Got into a blazing row during which she accused me of only wanting to be her friend with the hope of getting her into bed XD. That text totally dissolved my anger I was stupefied at how the leech who was asking me for a casual sexual relationship which I had never any interest in pursuing had now twisted it around on me and according to her she never remembers saying it conveniently :roll.

Needless to say I am far happier these days without seeing her name flash up on my phone what a joke :teeth


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## asphodel (Apr 30, 2013)

PickleNose said:


> What exactly is a toxic person?


I would define it as anyone who engages in forms of emotional or psychological abuse, or anyone whose behavior is damaging to those around them.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

asphodel said:


> I would define it as anyone who engages in forms of emotional or psychological abuse, or anyone whose behavior is damaging to those around them.


In that case, it would have been nice if this guy hadn't polluted the minds of hundreds of millions of people with nonsense....


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

asphodel said:


> I would define it as anyone who engages in forms of emotional or psychological abuse, or anyone whose behavior is damaging to those around them.


In that case, it would have been nice if this guy hadn't polluted the minds of hundreds of millions of people with nonsense and abused all those vulnerable people on his show on a daily basis....


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## Dan the man (Jul 4, 2013)

Well in my case it's more a control freak person I deal with every now and then, you know the types who must dictate everything/everyone in their surroundings even if its not really for your best interest. 

Think I'll just gradually deal with her less and less and if communication stops so be it. Life isn't meant to be so uptight!


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## WhyEvenBother (Jun 20, 2013)

Yeah I'll soon be moving in with my mom and although I love my dad he's not the best influence on me, he doesn't set rules, unsupportive emotionally, he doesn't do stuff with us. I'll definitely visit and keep in contact but I just shouldn't live with him. 

Also I need to limit my interaction with my sister, she's basically a freakin dictator, she does what she wants and f**k anyone who disagree's with her, she's kind of the reason we don't have rules and why me and my other sister have to do a lot of the work around our house.

Its important to limit interaction with some people or just cut it off with others. 






:roll


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## JustSmileZee (Nov 16, 2012)

It's probably because you're so use to being around or hanging with the toxic people/person that the suddent change is hard to get use to. It shouldnt be forgotten that once the grieving is done, you gotta been the person to make a big step, its the only way life can start changing for the brightest


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## Anti depressant (Jan 29, 2011)

I've dealt with a lot of toxic people in my life. 

Two people who were really close to me turned on me. One of them is still my friend. The other... not so much. 

In my first year, in my first semester I kept getting rejected by people constantly. I got over that quickly. I found good friends. 

I had a crush in my first year. That didn't go well. I've found people who cared about me instead. 

Two girls accused me of harassment... but, I've quickly exced them out of my life. I've finally put it to myself to stop pining after one of the girls that I kept pining after and trying to make up with, and decided I needed to move on.

The other girl I stopped texting immediately. 

I've been focusing on relationships that have been healthy for me. And now that I've gotten those other ones out of my life, I know which ones are the good ones. 

It feels so much better to not have the toxic relationships in my life anymore.


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## BakedBanana (Jun 26, 2012)

My 'toxic' friend left the country so I was fortunate that I didn't have to break it up. Since he moved countries I havent really spoken much to him if at all, during his time of being away I felt less constricted to do the things I wanted to do.

I found new friends that I really enjoy hanging out with, I have a good social life, I'm more motivated, significantly happier and confident. 

My advice: although cutting a 'toxic' friend out of your life may be 'mean' its necessary to move on. -- Lots of articles on the internet would agree with this advice.


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## lucy33 (Jul 15, 2013)

I need to get rid of a toxic guy he's so immature and thinks everything is a joke never takes anything seriously. Sometimes despite our anxiety we have to face situations in his case he has it to and all he does is drink and take pills he needs to grow up. So I think I will hang with him less as reality is he isn't a good man to be friends with.


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## lucy33 (Jul 15, 2013)

he is just selfish and childish makes up lies and thinks life is a joke. I hate people who don't truly understand it isn't a joke and it depresses me to think he can claim to have this yet take advantage of people good nature and he should learn to be less of a clown then he will see people aren't control freaks they just leave in the real world.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Absolutely. I felt like new person when I lived on my own away from my lunatic family. I'm hopefully gonna be able to move out again soon. Hopefully for good this time. I plan on cutting them off completely.


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## Phalene (Feb 15, 2013)

I cut my mother off my life around 15 or so. It was awfully hard and I felt drawn back to her dozens of time, but I held on. I left the country as soon as I could and never looked back. 

I have been judged by morons with their stupid PC catchphrases, "omg a mum is the most important being nianiania", bull****. Mothers can be freakingly abusive, mean spirited *****es, the status itself is nothing amazing, anyone can get knocked up and give birth, doesn't mean they are owned anything special. They screw up, they are out. No free pass because your vagina has been used like a highway.

If the only thing that people bring you is poison, why would you keep them in your life? That is what I started thinking the 230th time she hurt me, I decided I had enough of the hurting, the mental anguish, the manipulation... And I started cutting off people who were too negative as well.

Life is short, rather fill it with less people who are inherently decent than having it peopled by toxic jerks.


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## Buerhle (Mar 6, 2006)

Somebody keeps asking me for help, $.

I don't know what to do.


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## jlscho03 (Sep 5, 2012)

Yes, I cut off my last real friend about six months ago. It was time. We had known each other for many years and even almost dated at one point (thank goodness that never happened). 

It was hard cutting out my last friend, but when his 'advise' took on the tone of, 'I'm better than you, but it's okay, you did you're best. You're just not as good as me,' it started to really get to me. So we argued a bit more via e-mail (a sign of our distancing friendship). I told him what I was sick with and hurt his feelings a bit, which he opened up with. "Well, I guess you're not as good of a friend as I thought you were." Guess I'm not. But friendship is a two-way street. His last e-mail sent was forgiving me my emotional outbursts saying that it's okay, I'm a woman. 

Why, thank you so much. Gosh, I'm sorry I just can't be as good as a man. But thankfully I am forgiven!

He really did have negative thoughts about women, thinking many girls to be terrible. It never really was a problem until after high school, though. He was open about it and we talked about this and he recognized it as a problem, but I guess strong habits/thoughts are hard to break.

Yeah, I did not reply to his last e-mail and have not heard from him since.
I hope he's doing well, but the friendship has ended between him and I.

For weeks, I was tempted to get in contact with him. Loneliness does that to you. But then I think of the toxicity of the last two years or so, and realize that we've both changed, and not in ways that are compatible.


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## celes (Jul 27, 2013)

Cutting out a toxic person is hard for me at first because often times they are people i care about. But realizing that I was just attached to the memory of them (like the good times) was not good enough for the present way they were treating me.


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## furament (Jul 27, 2013)

ya,to bad trying to be decent is such a *****.


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## NoHeart (May 5, 2012)

Yes, but it's not like they didn't leave me without any scars.


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## AceEmoKid (Apr 27, 2012)

Yes. The person actually did the cutting off themself. I'm ****ing glad they're gone. I didn't have the heart to break it off myself. Can't deal with that ****.


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## littlemissbashful (Jul 29, 2013)

Yes for me it felt like a gigantic weight got lifted off my my shoulders and I felt 100 percent better. Crazy part is the person still tries and calls me every once awhile ( I ignore them of course) still doesn't get the hint I am no longer speaking to you not exactly bright!


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## asphodel (Apr 30, 2013)

Buerhle said:


> Somebody keeps asking me for help, $.
> 
> I don't know what to do.


Are you their dad and are they 10 years old? No. Say no, give them an out that doesn't involve you giving them money, and cut contact so they can't try to trick you into thinking you're the bad guy for having boundaries.


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## niro250 (Jul 9, 2013)

I hate my dad most negative naggiest person I ever encountered. I Don't talk to him yet I feel miserable and negavity still imprinted in my mind like it will never go away. It depends on the person. Someone really close to you ignoring or staying away from them won't really help as it is in my situation.


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## Und3rground (Apr 27, 2011)

Cutting a former friend out of my life was the best thing I ever did. I have a few mental scars and abrasions from that relationship, but it has improved a lot over time.


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## Fangirl96 (Apr 13, 2015)

My family used to have quite a lot of contact with my aunties and uncles and cousins etc during my childhood, but they're all narrowminded idiots and we barely have contact with any of them anymore. My mother talks to her siblings sometimes ofc, but i have pretty much zero contact with my dads side of the family. It's amazing to not have to spend time with them tbh. All those lame kids parties and all that...silent competition of who has the best kids...constant gossip about everything and everyone, even eachother...i dont need that bullsh*t in my life just to be polite. It caused me so much anxiety as a kid and i'm so happy to never have to deal with it again (apart from funerals i suppose). I dont plan on having contact with anyone else than my mom the day i finally leave this place. If i can ever escape.

I would rather be alone than spend time with people i hate.


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## kivi (Dec 5, 2014)

Fangirl96 said:


> My family used to have quite a lot of contact with my aunties and uncles and cousins etc during my childhood, but they're all narrowminded idiots and we barely have contact with any of them anymore. My mother talks to her siblings sometimes ofc, but i have pretty much zero contact with my dads side of the family. It's amazing to not have to spend time with them tbh. All those lame kids parties and all that...silent competition of who has the best kids...constant gossip about everything and everyone, even eachother...i dont need that bullsh*t in my life just to be polite. It caused me so much anxiety as a kid and i'm so happy to never have to deal with it again (apart from funerals i suppose). I dont plan on having contact with anyone else than my mom the day i finally leave this place. If i can ever escape.
> 
> I would rather be alone than spend time with people i hate.


I have similar problems, too. :squeeze

Usually they cut me off, they get bored when they see an emotionless person who doesn't react as they want (those people usually want to have trouble).
But yes, I feel relieved after that.


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## Idontgetit (Nov 1, 2013)

Und3rground said:


> Cutting a former friend out of my life was the best thing I ever did. I have a few mental scars and abrasions from that relationship, but it has improved a lot over time.


Same, i left a group of narcissistic douchebags a while back who made any attempt to put me down. I was like the punching bag of the group being introverted and non-confrontational by nature. Now my new friends are alcoholics which many may consider to be "toxic" but at least they don't insult me.


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