# How far I've come



## GURLWONDER (Oct 1, 2004)

About an hour ago, I was in the kitchen cooking. I heard a knock at the door. I go to open it, it was the next door neighbor, a man in his 50s. Now, I've lived in this neighborhood for 15 years and barely know or talk to the neigbors, modern day America for you. I know this guy, he lives with his girlfriend and his grown son, but I don't KNOW him. This is probabaly the first real "conversation" that I've ever had with him.

HIM: Is your mom home?
ME: No. She went out of town.
HIM: Are you running any computers? I'm getting interference here. (With his CB/Ham Radio).
ME: I was on the computer, but I'm not now.
HIM: You don't have to be on the internet. The computer could just be on.
ME: Yeah, the computer's on.
HIM: Can you turn it off.

I hesitate for a minute but went and turned it off. Now, I'm back at the locked screen door.

ME: Better?
HIM: I'm still getting interference. You have any cable boxes or anything?
ME: _ My intuition is rumbling _ Yeah.
HIM: Can you turn it off. 
ME: _Hesitating_ Yeah. _trying to be nice_

I go turn the cable box in my mom's room off and come back down stairs.
ME: Better?
HIM: No. Still getting interference. Anything else that might be causing this?
ME: No. I turned everything off. You sure it's us and not somebody else?
HIM: The signal is strongest here (on our porch).
ME: How long has this been a problem?
HIM: For about a year now.

Then he asked me if could he come inside our house and walk around to try to find what's causing the interference.

Now, I am home alone. My brother is gone somewhere and my mother is 30, 000 FT above ground on her way to Las Vegas. I am a 27 year old woman, but I didn't feel comfortable allowing him to walk around our home.

Not because I felt he would try anything, but because I felt like he was just trying to be NOSY. My mother had a brand new stove delivered yesterday and my brother bought a "new" 1993 car a few weeks ago. I do a lot of product testing so I get frequent package deliveries.

ME: I haaaate to be rude . . . . . but no.
HIM: Well, I'll talk to your mother when she gets home.

Then he proceeds to ***** about how this is the biggest problem that HAM operators face, and how he has to get this fixed and how he might have to call the FCC. Then the MF says that I'll _have to_ let the FCC come into my house. I basically say "oh, well" and shut the door very passionatly, lol, as he goes back over to his house.

After venting to myself, you SAS'ers understand, I had an ephiphany. WTF does this have to do with SA? Well, read on.


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## GURLWONDER (Oct 1, 2004)

*Part II*

 10 Years ago, hell, 5 years ago, this wouldn't have went down like this. Basically, to make a long story short, I probably would have let him come inside, against my better judgement, because I wanted to be "nice". I HATE that word.

In other words, I wouldn't have wanted him to think of me as being a mean person because I didn't let him in, so I would have let him in.

I have done this many times before, not wanting someone to see me as a mean, bad person, so basically kissing their behinds and allowing them to walk all over me.

Never standing up for myself.

Wanting and needing everyone to like me.

Getting frustrated because someone has bullied or used me and I just stuffed my feelings down inside instead of standing up for myself because if I stand up for myself, they won't like me.

Giving up on my life and withdrawing from the world because i became AFRAID OF PEOPLE. I became AFRAID OF PEOPLE because I became convinced that everyone out there was going to bully me and I wouldn't be able to stand up for myself. So everytime I left the house the ANXIETY would creep up and I'd be nervous about every little thing. Afraid to be myself because someone surely wouldn't like it and if they don't like me then they will bully me and if they bully me I won't be able to stand up for myself so I'll just spend the rest of my life unemployed, friendless living in my mother's basement.

This is my TRIUMP, because I stood my ground. 5-10 years ago, probably 2 years ago, I would'nt have listened to my gut, I would have listened to my "need to please".

5-10 years ago, on the slight chance that I wouldn't have let him in, when he started *****ing about the FCC I probably would have felt guilty for not letting him tramp through my house.

I probably would have spent the rest of the day with a guilt trip. The rest of the week. Then, everytime that I saw him, I probably would have tried to kiss his butt and be "nice" to him because I cared so much about what he thought of me.

For me, Hell truly is freezing over.


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## GURLWONDER (Oct 1, 2004)

A few more points to make:

*He wasn't being "friendly", he was almost demanding that I turn off my computer, etc. No please, thank you, etc. Not even a MF smile.

*If he was having problems for a year, why is he just now coming over here??

*He brought up the FCC to try to "scare" me. He probably thought I would let him come in. He thought wrong.

*I said NO! Not, "I don't think so" or anything like that. Just plain ole NO. 

*I wasn't being rude to him, if anything I was being nicer because I stay in the house a lot and people tend to think us quiet and shys are standoffish.

He probably thought that because I stay in the house a lot that I was some fool. I think he had me confused with somebody else. 

No more of this :nw and :blush when it comes to other people. But a whole lot more of this :wife LOL!!!


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## OneIsALonelyNumber (Mar 28, 2005)

He sounds pretty creepy to me!! If he comes by your house again I think you should ask him to leave immediately, and if he doesn't you should call the police. I mean this is really creepy! FCC my ***.

 :afr :um :afr 

You did good by not letting him inside.


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## travo (May 20, 2004)

I like this story, I'm glad you realized you shouldn't automatically be afraid and give in to people.


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## Mork (Apr 11, 2005)

GURLWONDER said:


> No more of this :nw and :blush when it comes to other people. But a whole lot more of this :wife LOL!!!


:clap


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## SilentMagician (Jun 8, 2004)

Great story! You should definately feel good about how you handled the situation. I hope this creep will leave you alone now. :clap


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## ghostgurl (Sep 20, 2004)

Good for you for standing up for yourself. :yay


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## glittergaze (May 4, 2005)

OneIsALonelyNumber said:


> He sounds pretty creepy to me!! If he comes by your house again I think you should ask him to leave immediately, and if he doesn't you should call the police. I mean this is really creepy! FCC my ***.
> 
> :afr :um :afr
> 
> You did good by not letting him inside.


 :agree He does sound creepy.

I agree with everyone else too. You did great! :clap :boogie


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## David1976 (Nov 8, 2003)

good job.... have anything on you want... as a matter of fact.. have everything on!!!.. hehe


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## Collette (Jun 6, 2005)

Gurlwonder, you go girl! opcorn 

Can i have some of what youve got, you have inspired me.


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## GURLWONDER (Oct 1, 2004)

Thanks for the support, guys!



Collette said:


> Gurlwonder, you go girl! opcorn
> 
> Can i have some of what youve got, you have inspired me.


Sure! _Sprinkling fairy dust over Collette_, :yay


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## Collette (Jun 6, 2005)

ta :cig


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## VanDamme (Jun 8, 2004)

GURLWONDER said:


> No more of this :nw and :blush when it comes to other people. But a whole lot more of this :wife LOL!!!


I know how you feel. I've been on both sides too but now only on the :wife side - if needs be. 
Great job!!! :banana :banana :banana :banana


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## sesfan4life (Jan 9, 2005)

wow great joB!!! :banana that is really a great improvement cos if it was me..i'll probly get sorta freaked out...and stuff..but u were calm and did the right thing!!


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## Anxiety75 (Feb 10, 2004)

I also need to learn to say NO to people yet not coming off as rude. That is our biggest problem with SA. We feel we are not liked and we are afraid to say no because we feel people will dislike us even more.

I also would never allow some guy to force his way into the house,neighbor or not. I never have crossed that line.
I think it was smart that you didn't let him in. That is just too suspicious. 
The word NO can save our lives,lol.


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## Partofme (May 23, 2004)

That's awesome you are standing up for yourself. I tend to go along with what other people want...I hate being a people pleaser...it's so exhausting and unfair to ourselves. I'm trying to be more assertive. Thanks for the inspiration.


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