# This girl texted me 32 times, help me make it stop!



## arao6 (Jul 12, 2013)

Ok, so this girl texted me 32 times in the past day. *32 times.* 32 in a row. Talking about everything, from what we should do "when we hang out," to her endless ongoing family issues, to her ambitious business ventures (which is good), to her depression cycles. Edit: Did I mention each text is long as hell, many of them like a paragraph?

For the past 4456 texts in the past 3 months, I have been patient. Caring. Supportive. I have done everything in my power to help. But this s*** is repeating; it's every other day she gets all depressed, and I happen to be the idiot in the center of this toxic friendship that has to clean up the mess. It takes hours because she cries way too much, and I'm a sucker when it comes to a woman crying, I get all supportive and s***.

It doesn't help that she used to have an insane crush on me until I _explicitly told her_ that I'm sorry if she thought I was leading her on, that I already have a gf, that I'll be her friend and _nothing more_.

I feel really bad to end any friendship (especially on someone in their time of need) but I really need it to stop, and telling her explicitly not to send me so many texts clearly didn't work.


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## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

Did you tell her to stop texting you or did you tell her you only want to be her friend? 

Anyway, you could always just not respond to most of them. I'm sure she's not going to send you 30 texts if you're not responding close to 30 times.


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## arao6 (Jul 12, 2013)

Make that 40 texts in a row. I think she just reached a new record here for the # of texts sent in a row in a 24 hour timespan.

Does this girl not get the message or what?


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

easy, tell her to text me


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## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

arao6 said:


> Ok, so this girl texted me 32 times in the past day. *32 times.* 32 in a row. Talking about everything, from what we should do "when we hang out," to her endless ongoing family issues, to her ambitious business ventures (which is good), to her depression cycles. Edit: Did I mention each text is long as hell, many of them like a paragraph?
> 
> *For the past 4456 texts in the past 3 months*, I have been patient. Caring. Supportive. I have done everything in my power to help. But this s*** is repeating; it's every other day she gets all depressed, and I happen to be the idiot in the center of this toxic friendship that has to clean up the mess. It takes hours because she cries way too much, and I'm a sucker when it comes to a woman crying, I get all supportive and s***.
> 
> ...


You are exaggerating, right? RIGHT!?
At a rate of 32 per day she would still have texted nearly 3,000 times in 90 days.

You need to explicitly tell her to stop texting. She seems to be in need right now but let's face it: she is always in need.

Make a clean cut. Sometimes saying no to other people is saying yes to yourself.


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## arao6 (Jul 12, 2013)

Shameful said:


> Did you tell her to stop texting you or did you tell her you only want to be her friend?
> 
> Anyway, you could always just not respond to most of them. I'm sure she's not going to send you 30 texts if you're not responding close to 30 times.


I don't respond to 90% of them; I just don't have the time. The friend thing was a while ago.



Lisa said:


> You are exaggerating, right? RIGHT!?
> At a rate of 32 per day she would still have texted nearly 3,000 times in 90 days.
> 
> You need to explicitly tell her to stop texting. She seems to be in need right now but let's face it: she is always in need.
> ...


I _wish_ I was exaggerating. Let a person go in their time of need? I feel terrible doing that...


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## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

arao6 said:


> I don't respond to 90% of them; I just don't have the time. The friend thing was a while ago.
> 
> I _wish_ I was exaggerating. Let a person go in their time of need?* I feel terrible doing that...*


Which is exactly why she is bombarding you. She knows you feel guilty. It is basically emotional blackmail. You have to set boundaries. Tell her in no uncertain terms that you want to stop communicating and then stick to it.

Honestly, if she sent that many texts no-one would blame you if you changed your number. No-one.


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## Erik20 (Jul 31, 2013)

I also had a friend like that about a year ago. 
We used to date but it turned into just friends, part of it was because I could tell something was wrong with her.

When I would wake up, there was always a text waiting for me. Then she would text me all day long, at least once every half hour.
Just like your friend, it was always about her problems, depression, even mentioning suicide. A couple of times I got tired of it and switched off my phone, then she started to call because I didn't reply.

It eventually stopped when she knew I was done with her, so she found someone else to bother all day. 
She came back after a short while , (I assume the other person also got tired of her) we got into a huge fight because I told her I didn't want to hear about all of her problems anymore. I had to block her on everything to get rid of her. Just telling her I was done wasn't enough because she liked to fight over text, the messages just kept coming in.

Lisa is right. This girl knows you are a nice person, she knows you would feel bad about it. 
You could send her one last text, telling her that you're sorry but you can't do this anymore. You can tell her some nice things if you want. Then after you've sent it, block her immediately. If you allow her to reply she'll just try to make you feel guilty again. (Might sound a bit harsh but it seems like you're not really friends anyway, and I'm assuming you don't want any contact anymore )


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## EddieDee (Jan 13, 2014)

I know that feeling. I had friend who had a crush on me and she would text me like 10 times in a row a few times and that was frustrating enough.. >_<


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

How did she get your number?


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## yeahl (Oct 29, 2014)

I agree give her monotonous number


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## Lacking Serotonin (Nov 18, 2012)

Is she Borderline?


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## muchlia25 (Dec 15, 2014)

i'm sorry you are dealing with this. I feel bad for her, but sometimes you have to worry about yourself first. She's not healthy for you


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## CWe (Mar 7, 2010)

Thats nuts


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## arao6 (Jul 12, 2013)

I love you guys/gals. Followed your advice and told her not to text me anymore if she's going to be so depressing all the time. All I got back was "lol sorry" and then it stopped. Nothing for the past 6 hours. Peace at last.

Still, I feel guilty about giving someone an ultimatum in their time of need. I needed this though, it was getting unhealthy.


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## arao6 (Jul 12, 2013)

AngelClare said:


> How did she get your number?


We worked on a class project together. Ever since then the texting has been increasing exponentially.



Lacking Serotonin said:


> Is she Borderline?


I don't think so. I think she's really more of an attention wh**e. She knows I'm a sucker when it comes to girls crying and I was just being used.


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## baxter2014 (Nov 15, 2014)

OP do you still have the girlfriend? Does she know this girl is texting you this much? My gf would be pi$$ed if a girl was texting me like this. 

Pretty clear you need to either tell her to stop or as suggested cut ties with her all together. 

Or turn the tables and message her 40 times a day with your issues.


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## Genos (Dec 17, 2014)

a couple of years ago i was kind of this girl. not to the extent of 30 times a day without a reply though. i did try to talk to them a lot but i always ****ed off if they didn't reply the first time.
i'd never really clicked with anyone before like i did with that person and idk i got kind of obsessed. i was also pretty emotionally unstable at that time. i've felt really weird and bad about it since i got over them ._.
not sure if this is your situation but there's another perspective woo


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## arao6 (Jul 12, 2013)

It was peace and quiet for a little bit. Except it started again, this time with a bunch of apologies thrown in, saying stuff like she has no one else to talk to and that I'm her only friend and that she's sorry etc. :|


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

It sounds like there might be a market for an app that automatically generates replies like: "_hmmm_" "_yeah_?" "_that's_ _interesting_"


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## Umpalumpa (Jan 26, 2014)

Not cool at all.....
If it bothers you so much tell her that its too much for you to handle.
You dont help anyone if you are coming here *****ing about it.
At least be honest to her.


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## mixtape (Dec 18, 2010)

hmmm this might be your GF posting...








*All my friends are horrible, slow texters.* 
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f257/all-my-friends-are-horrible-slow-texters-1309985/


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## Conquer Fear (Aug 11, 2013)

yeahl said:


> give her monotonous number


You mean ANONYMOUS number, not monotonous number, what were you smoking when you responded? haha just kidding.

I guess the way you see it, the number was boring and tedious compared to other numbers haha


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## VirtualAntics (May 27, 2013)

Change your number or block hers. Problem solved.


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## meandernorth (Nov 12, 2014)

If it started again, you're her release valve. We all need one in life because bottling things up can have not-so-good consequences. Given the number of texts, she seems to have a lot bottled up and it might help you to steer her to some professional who can help. It'll help her and help you.


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## Chuunibyou (Dec 30, 2014)

Did you block her number?


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

well if you stopped responding and she hasn't gotten the hint, just block her.


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## Erik20 (Jul 31, 2013)

arao6 said:


> It was peace and quiet for a little bit. Except it started again, this time with a bunch of apologies thrown in, saying stuff like she has no one else to talk to and that I'm her only friend and that she's sorry etc. :|


Yeah I thought that might happen, that's why I said you should block her after making clear to her that you didn't want to text anymore. Don't feel guilty about it if you block her, she's not your responsibility. She thinks she only has you because most people wouldn't put up with someone who sends that many messages, and you're still responding.


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