# Social Phobia beaten(pretty much)



## Hamtown (Jun 10, 2010)

Hey there.I'd just like to say i have pretty much beaten social phobia.I am going to lay down 3 points on a sort of personal interpretation of it and then a brief thing about myself.

*Recognize:*Social Anxiety or fear of people is a symptom of a deeper issue.Obviously depending on the severity of ones anxiety this to me feels absolutely true.I tried managing my anxiety through positive affirmation, trying to manage those surface thoughts and the immediate fears.I realized that it was actually something much deeper causing my anxiety to arise.It was the identity of myself, the extremely low and confused self image of myself, pain of past experience being relived today.I knew i had to work with this to get over it and ultimately that ment facing myself head on.So by recognize i mean, ask yourself:Where does my anxiety come from?Why do i fear people?Is it arising from something deeper?When you start to inquire you begin to find things out.

Obviously there are many forms of anxiety..some people may just have not learnt the skills to communicate to many people.Others may have had violence,abuse etc and obviously this is more deeply rooted.So some people may have had bad things happen and others have the problem where nothing happened at all.I think its important to note this as some may not be able to pin point certain experiences.In fact many things happen in childhood we will never remember but they still shape the way we behave throughout our entire lives.

2.*Desire:*One needs to have the desire to change.If you truly have the desire to change and also know that IT IS possible to change you can beat anything.You just need to launch yourself.You don't need to have a strict plan or know where you are going to go, you just need that desire.I didn't believe anxiety was genetic or permanent because i knew there wouldn't be a possibility for change.Most social behavior to me seems to be purely psychological,people can change there minds so it is not genetics.The mind is extremely powerful and whatever it is thinking ultimately becomes your reality.

3.*Face your fears*:Once you can recognize where anxiety stems from(the root cause.Remember: Social phobia is a symptom)then things makes sense, you know what you are fighting against and where it comes from.From that you desire to change.And from there you can appropriately face your fears.Not forcing yourself out there and running into brick walls, entrenching you further into a depression but you begin to understand it gradually.The fear is there but you dissociate with it and it loses its power over time.
*
Story:*

In July this year i moved to a new city, alone.I knew my anxiety was coming from a lifetime of extremely dark places but the fact is i was sick of suffering any longer, i knew just trying to change, even if i had to come back home, i might get something out of it.Well i did get horrible panic attacks,afraid to go around the house because of house mates.I was going out everyday, looking for work.Now it become to dawn on me i also had massive issues with responsibility and everything was almost just too much to handle.

Funnily enough i didn't want to be with a girl until i sorted myself out..it was the last thing on my mind and well i got a girlfriend.Its been a massive journey of understanding myself ever since.My constant lying, hiding, misery..its hard to believe how closed off to the world i was.I didn't know anything or what to do and i have come a long way and i know its possible for anyone else.I still get my nervousness, odd thoughts, comparisons of others and questioning.But its lost its power 10 fold..i don't have panic attacks, if i don't know what to say i either find something to say or say nothing at all, or even just smile.I catch myself lying for no reason sometimes, trying to suck up or whatever but i am much better and i can say although i might never remove my conditioning: I'm sure one day i can attain a life comfortable with myself, fear from fear.

I'm just proposing this.I'm not saying it will work for all, everyone is unique but i know anyone can find a way out and i believe recogonizing where social anxiety comes from is a big thing to know before you tackle it.If you have any questions i guess i could answer them.By the way i haven't taken any drugs..i don't agree with prescriptions or most doctors methods.I was visiting a phychologist about 7 months back but he wasn't very helpful, he told me things i knew.Put yourself into the world, maybe get into a hobby or learn about a topic or philosophies you enjoy.I've undergone an incredible transformation and i know with the way i was, the extreme depression and fear of myself and the world i had my entire life.. anyone else can experience a transformation too.


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## rememberingtobreathe (Jul 29, 2010)

I can totally relate. I'm starting to learn how to know my true self and what makes me act the way i do. it will be a long process but that's the only way i can now how to overcome SA.


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## lostdude42 (Mar 30, 2011)

really great post man and congrats on your progress


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## samuel89 (Oct 6, 2011)

Agree, first rule to overcome anxiety is to LOVE yourself and ACCEPT whatever fault you have. Keep asking yourself why why why after you have a Anxiety attack, draw a mind-map of what happen when you are relax and be true to yourself what really bother your mind , Anxiety will stop our ability to think when its happening which is why when anxiety happen we scare we will lost control of our-self. anxiety is bad habit that build day by day. Remember ACCEPT and LOVE yourself is the first step.

<3 Samuel


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## art of pretension (Oct 26, 2011)

really good post, it's nice to read that you feel so much better & great advice too, really gives me something to think about


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## soulfree11 (Oct 17, 2011)

*thanks so much!!!*

Thanks its a really encouraging post. I am on my way to overcoming social anxiety. It feels great when you even for a moment to experience you don't have anxiety. One things we must remember is that we are not social anxiety. So by treating social anxiety as a guest who chose us to visit (lucky us , accepting their presence in us, will they slowly leave us in peace. Battling, fighting with social anxiety doesn't do any good. Its a paradox which if we get to understand will help us in overcoming social anxiety. 
I do get anxious, and at such times I welcome its presence as I know it won't stay much longer. And of course accepting ourselves come first and then accepting people around us will follow naturally. We are all especial in our own unique ways. Let's value ourselves for who we truly are!!!
Peace V


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## kos (May 19, 2009)

Good job. I'm having better days aswell. Think it might just be a phase.


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## Venkska (Oct 29, 2011)

Thats good that you completed a goal that is hard to achieve with SA and I believe in the same concept as you and have been able to change myself within the past two years which has too be the best thing for someone is too try and change their image and be themselves instead of what other people think of you. Congrats bro!


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## Elka (Oct 31, 2011)

I agree I know the reason that I have this problem is because I honest to god hate myself. It's nice to see that someone out there has gotten over it. It's given me hope.

Well done!


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## Elizabeth419 (Sep 9, 2010)

Funny, the same thing happended to me when I moved to a new city alone. The sheer lonliness makes a person want to get out and interact socially at any cost. At least this was my experience with overcoming sa. I only healed because of the pain I had to endure.


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## jonahbruhh (Aug 23, 2011)

Super positive!


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