# I'm curious



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Who here thinks they need a relationship with the opposite sex to be happy?

(1 for yes; 2 for no)


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## ozkr (Dec 2, 2005)

2. I think being in a relationship has its benefits, but not being completely ok with yourself will make you miserable regardless of your relationship status.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

2). (Incl. same sex). They all made me miserable, stressed, and frustrated.


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## Emanresu (Jun 2, 2010)

2


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

2. Boy, you don't need no woman </broprah>


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## Zuzu (Dec 6, 2010)

2. Being sad because your not with someone is weak, but also if your a boy in love with a boy or the other way around, that cool because you can't help who you fall for.


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## General Specific (Mar 4, 2008)

2. 

You need to be happy with yourself before you can love anybody else.


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## AlisonWonderland (Nov 4, 2010)

2


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

2, but having a gf would make me really really really happy. I'm sure there are other things that would make me just as happy though.


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## merryk (Dec 25, 2008)

2
opposite sex, same sex...if I'm not happy with myself overall, I wouldn't expect others to be too jazzed about me either  

I believe I'm a bit happier when I'm in a good relationship, it's great.


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

2


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## orchdorch925 (Aug 26, 2010)

first off, you can attach a poll, second off, that's a difficult question for me. While I don't think that I necessarily _need_ a relationship to be happy, I feel miserable out of one, especially jealous of my friends who are happily involved. I want one, but I know logically I don't need one to be happy, but emotionally, it feels that way. I overanalyze, it's what I do.


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## EunieLuv (Jul 1, 2010)

2, when I'm not in a depressed funk, I'm pretty okay with myself. I'm used to being on my own, and I know I don't need a second party be it male or female to accomplish alot of things I can do on my own. But sometimes it does suck to watch other couples, but that's a natural feeling.


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## alex999 (Oct 21, 2008)

When I'm in some sort of funk or feeling down, I notice I think about girls and want relationships MUCH more. Like it's all I think about. Yet when I feel happy and occupied I don't feel like I need a girlfriend at all.

I think relationships aren't really the huge deal that us (SA people) make it out to be. I think that we put the opposite sex on pedestals and think that relationships are like the holy grail to life and nothing else matters. I still have to tell myself a lot to quit putting girls on pedestals and that they are only human like us. I think the depression, isolation, and loneliness caused by SA brings out that need in us, the need to be in relationships. 

So 2 I guess. I'm a firm believer in that you shouldn't rely on another person for your own mental well being.


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## travis bickle (Dec 16, 2010)

1. What's the point otherwise?


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## StevenGlansberg (Apr 1, 2009)

At any single point in time no, not necessarily. But ultimately? Yes, of course.


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## strugglingforhope (Jun 13, 2009)

I think this is something where it depends on who you are. If you're someone that hasn't experienced a relationship and hasn't been able to because of SA or other factors, you do need to experience it to some degree or it will always bring you down not knowing what its like. If you've had plenty of relationships and you've 'been there, done that' or so to speak being in one wouldn't have nearly as much impact on your happiness. Right now I'd say I'm a 1, but I'm not sure I'd always be that. And of course it can't just be 'a relationship' it has to be one that person is interested in having.


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## ozkr (Dec 2, 2005)

travis bickle said:


> 1. What's the point otherwise?


Not everything revolves around finding the perfect mate, and even if anyone tried to see it from a practical or cynical angle, sex is not people's sole motivation or goal in life and it's not the sole purpose of relationships.

People value different things and define happiness in their own terms, so the point of something depends on how one sees things.

I guess relationships, just like wealth or fame, are one of those things that have the potential of putting things into perspective when they're obtained due to the way people idolize and romanticize them. It's after you spend all of your time, energy, and resources trying to obtain it that you realize there is more to life and happiness than what you initially thought. In other words, you will only realize there's more in life than relationships once you have one.

I should have just asked "the point of what?" and be done with it, but noooooo...


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## jennlynne5 (Aug 6, 2010)

1. - Before I met my husband I was so lonely & depressed all the time. I'm pretty happy now despite my issues. I would just feel like dying if I ever lost him.


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## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

2 for now but eventually 1 once I figure out my life a bit better.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

ozkr said:


> Not everything revolves around finding the perfect mate, and even if anyone tried to see it from a practical or cynical angle, sex is not people's sole motivation or goal in life and it's not the sole purpose of relationships.
> 
> People value different things and define happiness in their own terms, so the point of something depends on how one sees things.
> 
> ...


I couldn't agree more. The oddest thing happens to me when I stop seeking a partner: I get lonely. This says a lot considering that when I was having an active social life things didn't bother me as much.

So a combination of how active you are in life has a lot to do with being lonely and not being lonely.

2 for me but sometimes it can get to me.


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## Duke of Prunes (Jul 20, 2009)

1, though if I had to choose between having a circle of very good friends who I can talk to or an ideal relationship, I'd choose the friends. I need both to be happy, though.


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## Sbrooke (Nov 28, 2010)

2. It's not good to settle for someone just because you like the idea of being in a relationship. If this is the main reason, once the spark wears off the happiness is likely to go away.


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## Paragon (Apr 13, 2010)

I think that a (good) relationship could enhance your happiness if you're already reasonably content with being alone, but it aint gonna cure depression and a lack of self-worth. So no, but i think it could help. Or something like that.

Hell who am i kidding i don't really know, not like i have any luck with relationships.


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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

2. Been there, and having low self esteem mixed with a relationship didn't work well, especially after the breakup. I find myself really wanting another one, but theres a lot of work on myself to be done first.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

2


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

2. I am happy and I do not (nor have ever) had one.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Ospi said:


> 2. I am happy and I do not (nor have ever) had one.


Would you be so kind to explain your reasons?:yes


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

2. I don't _need_ a relationship to be happy, infact relationships on the whole for me haven't been that fulfilling emotionally, but I think a lot of that had to do with me not being all that happy or self aware. I've changed a lot in the last couple of years so hopefully my next one will be different!


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## layitontheline (Aug 19, 2009)

1. Sure I can still enjoy things and wouldn't throw myself in a relationship just to have one, but no matter what I do, I find myself longing for that special someone to be there with me. I feel like I won't have meaning or wholeness until I'm in a loving, committed relationship with someone who I can share everything with.


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## Judith (Sep 27, 2008)

I feel more fulfilled when I'm in a good healthy relationship, but it doesn't make or break my happiness.


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## sacred (May 25, 2009)

2. i definitely need some attention from the opposite sex once in awhile to be happy but relationships/couplings is not necessary at all to be happy imo. unless were talking the right person which i dont think there is a right person who lives up to my standards the relationship way of doing things is just a burden and source of misery and unhappiness and all kinds of bagagge.

safe and rational hedonism is where its at.


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## rockyraccoon (Dec 13, 2010)

1. Although I have never had a relationship with anyone or even had a girlfriend I desire greatly for a relationship. I keep telling myself that if I simply had a girlfriend it would lift me from my depression. But having social anxiety greatly impares my ability to go out and socialize. Buy I realize also the downsize of having a relationship; for example, getting dumped and then struggling to get over it. But I wouldn't just rush into a relationship with the first women I meet. I think it would take time, and we would have to express our feelings for each other, specifically announce to one another that we are transitioning from dating to a relationship. Again, I am not speaking from experience, just kind of venting how I think a relationship should unfold.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

bwidger85 said:


> Would you be so kind to explain your reasons?:yes


Well I guess I am lucky enough to have a fore-filling life in other aspects such as a growing career and decent friendships so as a result I do not find myself sitting around bored which in turn would get my mind working overtime feeling lonely and desiring a relationship to be happy.

The other problem is that every time I have gotten involved with someone just dating, I get so paranoid and insecure and my anxiety continuously slaps me over the face like a wet trout and thought of that again do not appeal to me.

That being said I do wish I could be with someone I was comfortable around and could share my life with, it is something that is missing like a big hole, but I am not desperate for it and my life will not go down the gurgler without it.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Ospi said:


> Well I guess I am lucky enough to have a fore-filling life in other aspects such as a growing career and decent friendships so as a result I do not find myself sitting around bored which in turn would get my mind working overtime feeling lonely and desiring a relationship to be happy.
> 
> The other problem is that every time I have gotten involved with someone just dating, I get so paranoid and insecure and my anxiety continuously slaps me over the face like a wet trout and thought of that again do not appeal to me.
> 
> That being said I do wish I could be with someone I was comfortable around and could share my life with, it is something that is missing like a big hole, but I am not desperate for it and my life will not go down the gurgler without it.


That pretty much describes where I am at. I am focused on my career and just forming friendships first.
I have noticed the difference of interaction since I have been on vacation for half of December. The anxiety comes back.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

Way more 2's then I expected. 

Ospi has a great view on things. Really shows how happy you can be outside of a relationship. 

I am a 2. I can be just as happy outside of a relationship as I can inside. I fill my time in different ways and enjoy my life. I guess I have the happiness just none of the warm feelings of love.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

I'm going with 2. A relationship isn't the only thing I'm living for, or feel like is the only thing in life that will bring joy to me. I would definitely like a relationship, a healthy fulfilling relationship, but I am pretty content in life currently and I can't say I have a relationship right now.


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## skygazer (Dec 26, 2010)

2+1 = I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy, but to be love is one of the greatest happiness there is in life.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

what exactly do you mean by "relationship".


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## Bathory (Dec 26, 2010)

It's not necessarily that I need a romantic relationship to be happy. Hell, I'd be happy with a platonic one. I just want someone to share things with and laugh with, travel together, watch our favorite shows, be silly together, etc. Someone that's always there. Not like a friend that you see every now and then. Unfortunately, its near impossible to find that kind of relationship without a romantic/sexual aspect attached to it. If I had a good core group of friends or even one best friend I could probably be fairly happy, but ultimately, yes, I do want to spend my life with that person that *gets* me and loves me and makes me happy by just being there.


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## Johnny_Genome (Nov 11, 2003)

1

I've seen studies of 'happy people' and not surprisingly, the happiest were in romantic relationships.

I haven't met a truly happy person over 25 who is single and wants to be single in the long term. I think in your early 20's friends can keep you happy and occupied, but eventually friends will have their own relationships and families. They will get married, or move off to far away places. You will be stuck all alone, wondering what's the point of all of this if I have no one to share it with.


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

Being with him was the only thing that made me happy.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

Geckofab said:


> It's not necessarily that I need a romantic relationship to be happy. Hell, I'd be happy with a platonic one. I just want someone to share things with and laugh with, travel together, watch our favorite shows, be silly together, etc. Someone that's always there. Not like a friend that you see every now and then. Unfortunately, its near impossible to find that kind of relationship without a romantic/sexual aspect attached to it.


I found this in my 30s. It's much better w/out sex and emotional messes. We got the former out the way before this became possible. It depends on your sex drive and desire for romance/deep connection whether you'll be content.


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## ktbare (Sep 13, 2009)

2, but nothing will ever make me happy.


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## Selbbin (Aug 10, 2010)

1


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## DarkHeartKid (Dec 29, 2010)

haaah! me not at all! \=P im totally not interested in such sappy relationships (not to mention how u gotta liek hold hands and blah and just thought about someone coming near to me closer than a meter makes me just shiverr brrrrr :um:no and blah blah) aand i dont believe in no freaking love, its all in human silly mind bcz its all either out of boredom either physical affection either u get used so much to person u get sort of dependent from their company aand aand..basically noowayz!! i just plan to become strong independent nonemotional epic individual on my own! i just need no freakin mortals by my side, meh!! 

bcz being anyhow stronger than needed attached to anyone is weakness! :blank

oh i forgot, yea its 2!


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## kiirby (Oct 8, 2010)

I'd assume a relationship would make me happy. I'd hope so, anyways.


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## Jimbow1995 (Jul 27, 2010)

1. Because the only thing that seems to make me the most sad/ depressed is that Im not in a relationship and never have. It's always on my mind. I'm that desperate I would accept pretty much any girl that showed a slight amount of interest.


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## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

2. relationships are fine and all and I've had some good ones and often i wish i would meet a great gal again who was in to me and all but I've learnt to be happy (relatively as in not depressed) on my own i guess content with my singleness would be a better way of putting it


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## Bbpuff (Sep 1, 2010)

Oh.. I thought you meant, vote 2 if you don't need the opposite sex to be happy, and you were talking about you could be happy with the same sex.. Lol either way I'm voting 2 ^-^


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## FakeFur (Nov 4, 2009)

2. I can be happy without being in a relationship. I still have yet to ever be in one. Sometimes I do long to be in a relationship though, and to be close with someone like that. But it's not something I see as something I need in order to be happy.


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