# Taking too long to finish College



## Joshua90 (Jan 11, 2013)

*Taking too long to finish University*

*Background info:
*
So I turned 24 in June and honestly I have been in school for what feels like an eternity. When I graduated high school in 08, I was focused on one career, a career path I have been following ever since I was 8 years old! The first year of university was fine, I mainly focused on my work and ended up with decent grades,Mostly B's with some A's here and there. However, as time went on, I ended up feeling more and more isolated and vulnerable because I began to struggle with coming to grasps with my sexuality, I barely had any friends and the more advanced courses I took in my program, the harder the workload became. My social anxiety soon began to interfere when I was too afraid and nervous to ask for help whenever I couldn't grasp what was being taught in class. I fell behind a lot, failed a ton of classes, tried to retake them, passed some but eventually I realized that I was so far behind compared to most of the people in my age group. I really was so intent on succeeding in this particular career path that I never stopped to realize that maybe I should have considered an alternative career. Being too afraid to talk to guidance and academic advisers was also a huge thorn in my side. Anyways, I just ended up getting really depressed and isolated and eventually just reached a point where I realized that I just could not go on any further, I was getting older and time was definitely not on my side. So I resolved to finally make a switch to another program which entailed me moving to another Province, state, and a new University where I can happily say something has come over me and I honestly have regained my focus back. I currently have a 3.92 GPA and the program I am planning on applying to requires a 4.0 so this is my last semester to do quite well to ensure that I do have somewhat of a chance.

*Main query:*

Now here's the thing that's bugging me, despite honestly doing so well, I still feel like I'm behind compared to most other individuals. My move is basically like a fresh start, a restart if you will from the bottom up so I'm still considered a 1st year student and I am beyond mortified by this. A majority of the folk in most of my classes are 18-21 year olds and I yet again feel like I don't fit in with any of them. My sole focus right now is my studies and maintaining my GPA but at the same time, whenever I try to be social, almost everyone probes me about my academic history, my age, what I'm doing here,why I moved etc. Someone recently asked what my age was and I kind of panicked and lied that I was only 22 and her instant response was "22?! You look younger than that!" and yes I do actually look younger than 24 but what scares me is that even if I lie my through such conversations, in my mind I know I'm way older than these people and they'r so much more accomplished  By the time I'm done with this current program I would probably be 26 (or 28 depending on my pacing) I just want to know, is there anyone else who's 23+ and still in university? How do you sort of deal with this kind of quarter life crisis? I also hate having to explain myself to extended family members who react in a shocked kind of way that I'm still in school considering almost everyone I know is close to being done, some are even married. Ugh!


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## klimtiseverything (Mar 19, 2014)

i'm only twenty, but i know how you feel with the first year student thing. i'm officially listed as a first year student too, even though i'm in my third year. i have a grand total of twenty one credits completed, because i withdrew from two semesters due to anxiety and depression. 

with the way it's going right now, i'll be in school for another three or four years, and that's assuming that i don't withdraw from another semester. i'm honestly embarrassed at how far behind i am in my degree compared to the people i know from high school. nobody in my family knows about my school situation. when people ask, i lie and tell them i'll be done my degree in two years, but i don't know what my excuse will be once i'm there. i'm thinking that i'll just lie and say i switched majors.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

I know a lot of people who are older than you in still in school. It's not an unusual thing. As for being behind for your age, I feel you.


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## cmnnn (Oct 7, 2014)

Imbored21 said:


> I know a lot of people who are older than you in still in school. It's not an unusual thing. As for being behind for your age, I feel you.


This.

OP - I see people who are late 20's early 30's in school, yet I look at my friends who are 21-22 who are finsihed in college. The main thing is to STOP comparing your lifes timeline to others. We are individuals who do things in our own individual ways. There is no "right" age to be in school, and it doesn't matter how long it takes you to finish, the facty is that YOU WILL finish, you will have that Degree, and you will look back and be thankful you pushed through. Clear out the noise, and stop worrying about behing behind, that anxiety will triumph over your ability to focus, which may cause you to delay even further. I am speaking from experience, as I feel like I am the only 24 year old at San Diego State...


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## ShrimpSauce (Jan 12, 2012)

My brother is taking literally a decade to graduate with his bachelors. My friend took 8 years to finish hers, I took five years...and I am back in school again. I have a friend that is 24 that just got his AA. You'll get there, bachelors degrees are time consuming, they really are. Family/relationship problems, financial aid problems, struggling with the subjects, changing majors and being too busy working can extend the time in school and that is perfectly understandable and downright normal. Please don't feel bad about it.


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## Joshua90 (Jan 11, 2013)

bruised said:


> What was your major when you were struggling?
> 
> I wasted two years in community college taking some gen ed and some totally random classes that I thought would credit me in a non-superfluous way because I was pretty oblivious. I picked my major about that time and when I graduated ended up with over 100 credits at community college. Someone laughed at me. It was almost unimaginable for me to transfer to a University because it would take two years. This is all for a major that I'm not sure I'm comfortable with.
> 
> I am currently in my last year with 6 classes left and I should be 26 when I graduate. That means 8 years after high school, so I know how you feel. I got kicked out of school temporarily one semester (medical withdrawal), and one semester I just waited before I decided to transfer. It just feels like it's been dragging on, but we're not the only ones and we still have our whole lives ahead of us. We can look back and see that we've come very far. Learning isn't really something you graduate from either way. Imagine how good it will feel to be in your last semester.


I was on my way to med school. So I spent a long time trying to get through a general science degree. I went to a community college where most people spend at the most 2-3 years doing part of that degree and then transferring to a larger, prestigious university to complete the program and then doing their 3rd/4th year there. I was just stuck.


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## Joshua90 (Jan 11, 2013)

FerretCrazy said:


> My brother is taking literally a decade to graduate with his bachelors. My friend took 8 years to finish hers, I took five years...and I am back in school again. I have a friend that is 24 that just got his AA. You'll get there, bachelors degrees are time consuming, they really are. Family/relationship problems, financial aid problems, struggling with the subjects, changing majors and being too busy working can extend the time in school and that is perfectly understandable and downright normal. Please don't feel bad about it.


Thanks I appreciate the support!


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## SlateGrayEyes (Oct 9, 2014)

OP, what you have to ask yourself is this: How bad do you want this? It's your dream, so my assumption is you want it very bad. Never give up on your dreams. I am 26, still in school, and working very hard to maintain my GPA. Frankly, this year, I ran into a hurdle when my Physics class hit me with a left hook and knocked me down, and I am still going forward. By the time I finish my Bachelors degree, I will be roughly 29, and by the time I finish my Masters, I will be in my 30s. What keeps me going is knowing that I really want this. 

When I was younger, I wanted to be a surgeon, but over time I changed course and wound up working in another field. But I must say, truthfully, that I still dream of being a surgeon sometimes, or at the least a regular physician. Sometimes I debate going back, and I know for sure I would not let age stop me if I made that decision. If you want it bad enough, make your dreams come true, do not let age be a determining factor in that. Do not worry about younger students, I know that that can create insecurities and almost a competitive thought process, but you are all there for the same reason. And, keep this in mind, oftentimes the older students are better learners because they are more mature, more grounded, more focused and more passionate about what they want.


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## Joshua90 (Jan 11, 2013)

SlateGrayEyes said:


> OP, what you have to ask yourself is this: How bad do you want this? It's your dream, so my assumption is you want it very bad. Never give up on your dreams. I am 26, still in school, and working very hard to maintain my GPA. Frankly, this year, I ran into a hurdle when my Physics class hit me with a left hook and knocked me down, and I am still going forward. By the time I finish my Bachelors degree, I will be roughly 29, and by the time I finish my Masters, I will be in my 30s. What keeps me going is knowing that I really want this.
> 
> When I was younger, I wanted to be a surgeon, but over time I changed course and wound up working in another field. But I must say, truthfully, that I still dream of being a surgeon sometimes, or at the least a regular physician. Sometimes I debate going back, and I know for sure I would not let age stop me if I made that decision. If you want it bad enough, make your dreams come true, do not let age be a determining factor in that. Do not worry about younger students, I know that that can create insecurities and almost a competitive thought process, but you are all there for the same reason. And, keep this in mind, oftentimes the older students are better learners because they are more mature, more grounded, more focused and more passionate about what they want.


I was hell bent on being a doctor too and I still from time to time have "what if " thoughts and try to persuade myself that I could still get back into it but the reality of it all is that I just am not capable of handling math or chem courses and the competitiveness of the med field, the way students claw at each other just to get to the top, is horrible for my anxiety, as I said I had such a hard time due to my anxiety and being in that overtly competitive environment, so I don't think I would make it. I just hope I manage to get through this current program I am in and end up loving what I'm doing. Thank you for your support.


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## SlateGrayEyes (Oct 9, 2014)

Joshua90 said:


> I was hell bent on being a doctor too and I still from time to time have "what if " thoughts and try to persuade myself that I could still get back into it but the reality of it all is that I just am not capable of handling math or chem courses and the competitiveness of the med field, the way students claw at each other just to get to the top, is horrible for my anxiety, as I said I had such a hard time due to my anxiety and being in that overtly competitive environment, so I don't think I would make it. I just hope I manage to get through this current program I am in and end up loving what I'm doing. Thank you for your support.


I hear you, those courses can be quite challenging. I have never been the best with mathematics (which is why Physics has been difficult). I think you will do fine as long as you stay driven and do not let anything persuade you from your goal(s). And you are welcome, glad I can be of support.


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## Nkiruka (Aug 30, 2009)

Joshua90 said:


> I just want to know, is there anyone else who's 23+ and still in university? How do you sort of deal with this kind of quarter life crisis?!


Yes, I'm 25 and still in university. To be honest, I don't see it as a crisis. At least we're in school  Do you prefer morning or evening classes? There tend to be more older people in evening classes, if you want to avoid the 18-21 crowd.


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## Frostbite (May 14, 2013)

I didn't start till I was 27, still haven't finished.


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## Joshua90 (Jan 11, 2013)

Nkiruka said:


> Yes, I'm 25 and still in university. To be honest, I don't see it as a crisis. At least we're in school  Do you prefer morning or evening classes? There tend to be more older people in evening classes, if you want to avoid the 18-21 crowd.


I definitely do prefer older folk because they exude a sense of purpose for being there as opposed to the younger ones who merely want to goof off.


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## Joshua90 (Jan 11, 2013)

SlateGrayEyes said:


> I hear you, those courses can be quite challenging. I have never been the best with mathematics (which is why Physics has been difficult). I think you will do fine as long as you stay driven and do not let anything persuade you from your goal(s). And you are welcome, glad I can be of support.


thank you again!


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## wherecanigo (Oct 31, 2013)

i am 24 as well and only just starting my third year at university... I also live in a dorm on campus. A dorm. On campus. At 24.
so embarrassing


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## Joshua90 (Jan 11, 2013)

wherecanigo said:


> i am 24 as well and only just starting my third year at university... I also live in a dorm on campus. A dorm. On campus. At 24.
> so embarrassing


being 24 and a third year isn't really something to be embarrassed, that's really close to finish most conventional degrees/diplomas. I can sympathize living on campus part though because most people assume that once you're 25, you're completely independent and with your own apartment/house etc


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## wherecanigo (Oct 31, 2013)

Joshua90 said:


> being 24 and a third year isn't really something to be embarrassed, that's really close to finish most conventional degrees/diplomas. I can sympathize living on campus part though because most people assume that once you're 25, you're completely independent and with your own apartment/house etc


The weird part is I didn't even consider it until weeks into the semester. Just wanted to leave home so bad I thought I'd move.. Now I realize most of these kids are 19-21ish and not only is it strange for me to be here in general at 24, but to actually live on campus is unheard of.

But 24 and just starting third year I feel bad about. If I had gone right away I would have been done at 22 and already have/be close to having a master's.


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## llodell88 (May 15, 2011)

well i started at 20 and it will have taken me 6 1/2 years and 7 1/2 if you count the two i took off since starting...then there's the 2 years i did pretty much nothing before starting...so i feel like i have 10 years where i did pretty much nothing but school but i've had major problems that most people don't have to deal with. i have tons of useless credits and little work experience. nobody is really surprised...my sister is in her last semester and she just turned 28....started at 18.

if it makes you feel better check out statistics on college graduation rate and the average time it takes to graduate. smart people can take 6+ year, you're not alone.


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## Joshua90 (Jan 11, 2013)

llodell88 said:


> well i started at 20 and it will have taken me 6 1/2 years and 7 1/2 if you count the two i took off since starting...then there's the 2 years i did pretty much nothing before starting...so i feel like i have 10 years where i did pretty much nothing but school but i've had major problems that most people don't have to deal with. i have tons of useless credits and little work experience. nobody is really surprised...my sister is in her last semester and she just turned 28....started at 18.
> 
> if it makes you feel better check out statistics on college graduation rate and the average time it takes to graduate. smart people can take 6+ year, you're not alone.


well that's a relief I guess, its hard when family members, not my own family but like extended members, probe me and want to know what I'm up to and/or question why I'm taking so long. At the end of it all though, I'm just trying to stay focused and get to where I need to be


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