# I really didn't know where to put this lmao



## aka dru (Oct 30, 2004)

Hey, what’s up ya'll! I don't come up on this that often and I should have came on here the day before, after or week after. lol but, I just wanted to tell you guys especially people in Toronto and/or Canada what happened to me. I was on global TV like a month ago talking about my anxiety. How I got on was crazy and I just acted fast and said "yes, I'll do it!" I was nervous as hell thinking about how it would turn out! not only was I nervous and scared but I was also kind of freaking out at the fact that...this would be kind of like my..."coming out of the closet on national TV!" lmao but, I told myself "don't worry about it, good can only come from this” I wanted people to hear about anxiety disorders and I wanted to shed some light on it! who better to talk about anxiety, other then someone who’s dealing with it, right?" so...after I did the interview and even now the amount of positive feed back I'm getting is crazy!!! A doctor that was part of the lil segment seen me and wanted to work with me in treating my anxiety! Mad people are asking me about it and alot of people are saying they never knew "this n that" about anxiety. The funny thing is the same amount of people that said they didn't know about anxiety was basically the same amount of people that told me they suffer with the same thing! I found out one of my friends has it, "which I already kind of knew" and my sisters co-worker. When the reporter asked me "Andrew, why do this in front of all these people aren't you scared? I said, "I have nothing to lose, and spreading the word is more important" I did all this leading up to my birthday and I feel this is the best present I could get! Spreading the word so, people realize what the hell is going on with people that have anxiety and knowing this isn't fake! It’s real! Umm, lmao sorry for writing so much and sorry I couldn't tell you guys earlier. Did anyone happen to catch it on TV? And if so, what did you think?


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## CodeWeasel (Aug 11, 2005)

No, but I wished I had! That's crazy Awsome!


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## SpesVitae (Oct 20, 2005)

Wow, aka dru.

You talked specifically about SA, right? That's awesome what you did! I'm so happy for you. I wish I had seen it, but I'm not in Canada. Boo hoo. Anyway, here's your dancing banana: :banana


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## TroubledGuy (Dec 10, 2005)

Sweeeeeeeeeet! Congratulations Dru... lemme ask you a question. 

How nervous did you feel on camera? It's weird, not that I've been in that particular situaiton before, but did you feel as nervous on camera as you might talking one-on-one with someone? It's a weird thing, SA can be totally situational.. For myself, I think I might be more comfortable talking with someone ABOUT my SA than I would talking to someone about the details of my life. Does that make sense?

Also, in 8th grade (I'm 32 now, going WAYSSSSS back), I gave a speech at graduation in front of 1,000 people, but it was a rehearsed speech and kind of impersonal, so I wasn't that nervous (granted, my SA wasn't as bad back in those days). But trying to talk to more than one person now sets me off baaaaad.


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## SpesVitae (Oct 20, 2005)

TroubledGuy said:


> It's a weird thing, SA can be totally situational.. For myself, I think I might be more comfortable talking with someone ABOUT my SA than I would talking to someone about the details of my life. Does that make sense?
> 
> Also, in 8th grade (I'm 32 now, going WAYSSSSS back), I gave a speech at graduation in front of 1,000 people, but it was a rehearsed speech and kind of impersonal, so I wasn't that nervous (granted, my SA wasn't as bad back in those days). But trying to talk to more than one person now sets me off baaaaad.


Makes complete sense to me! I find it very easy to talk about my SA in front of my psychiatrist. I'm actually very eager to do so. It's a lot more difficult to engage in small talk about trivial matters.

I've made about 3 speeches in front of a huge audience back in elementary and middle school. I had SA then, so in a way it was ironic that the elementary principal used me as a good example to others making their assembly speeches. But that only goes to show that SA indeed can be situational; I spent hours upon countless hours preparing.


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## aka dru (Oct 30, 2004)

Umm, I was going over in my mind what I wanted to say. Not everything but some things. In a way this has always been one of my dreams though. To talk to someone about my anxiety and have them listen and tell the world and/or alot of people at the same time. let me tell you though, when they came to my house I was cool, just a lil nervous though but I didn't realize and I didn't get extremely nervous until I seen them setting up the camera and lights! That’s when I knew that what I was doing was real. so...I get mic'd and the reporter is in front of me...I'm all cool...as soon as the camera turned on I was getting more nervous but the thing that messed me up was this bright light this really bright light! lmao I've never truly felt frozen up until that point. The light just froze me and when the reporter asked me their first question I couldn't answer it properly lmao but after that, I got into it and was really comfortable. I was talking up a storm. After that you know what they asked me to do? They wanted to take me to a mall and they wanted to strap a heart reader on me to see if my heart would race. I didn't think it was going to work but omg...as soon as I walked out of my house it shot up! We went to Pickering town centre with the camera guy and all. let me tell you it was weird and funny at the same time because here I am, a guy that gets nervous over people knowing if I have anxiety or not and right there as we walk in everyone was watching us "everyone!" it was like I was the only person entering the mall lmao but you know what? I didn't feel that nervous. I kind of felt okay with people looking at me. That shocked the hell out of me! I don’t get why I wasn’t so nervous. Maybe it’s because I chose to come out of the closet and was exposing myself anyway lmao a next that that's kind of funny is, right after I did all this I was kind of paranoid for a week wondering if anyone knew me on the street! It’s funny now cuz I have all the reason to think that since I was on TV LMAO like: “hey!? Weren’t you on TV talking about anxiety?” it’s all good though I’d love to talk about it with anybody. That’s why I did this. :lol 

Sorry for talking so much. I just had a lot to tell you guys…sorry…
:afr


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Man, that is really freakin' awesome!! What a story! Keep us informed will you!?! :nw It takes a lot of guts for anybody to do you did. This'll be something you'll never forget! :banana



> The funny thing is the same amount of people that said they didn't know about anxiety was basically the same amount of people that told me they suffer with the same thing!


Isn't that strange? I get that a lot too. Just last night someone came out of the closest and told me they suffered with the same thing I did. Then they moved out and started to do things on their own and it somehow went away. That's why I believe that anybody with S.A. can overcome it to some degree. I'm not cured of S.A., but looking back into high school I can say that during those times I did a lot of things that strengthened my anxiety(during which I didn't know I even had it!). It's nuts! Now, that I'm sure I have S.A., I can except it and try to move on knowing that it's something that I can use to push me forward. Kind of like feeling the fear and doing it anyways. Just like you, coming out infront of a camera and putting your balls on the table, I also try to do things I am discouraged in and whenever I look back I'm glad I did because I know that steps are needed to minimize my anxiety.


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## aka dru (Oct 30, 2004)

I hear what you're saying and you know what? You’re absolutely right! When you don't do something, obviously it's the anxiety that's giving you the feelings not to do it. Just don't let it over ride what's really going on. I've been scared out of my mind, to hell and back, just to go out with my sister. when I finally go and enter place's I was scared ****less of, I realize..."wow this wasn't as bad as it was in my head?" then I always say to myself, "look at what I might have missed if I didn't go!" and when I go to places with her and realize I can do it, it puts me on a high, and I want to kind of do more! lol the thing that mess's me up and the thing that may be hard for other people is being consistent in doing this. I realize that if I'm in a place for a long time my anxiety levels out somewhat. I still feel a little anxious but not as much as before. Now imagine if I did things like that everyday! I'd be on a roll! I know for a fact you can control this anxiety thing. I also remember when I was working at a theme park for three months as a ticket taker, they said we'd be dealing with a thousand something people a day! "I don't need to tell you how I felt hearing that!" I also freaked out because, I was wondering how the hell am I going to learn how to use this crazy *** computer in front of me and the whole procedure!!? Let me tell you though, by the third day I was desensitized to the people and I was talking up a storm making jokes and I didn't feel this thing called anxiety. Plus I learned what I needed to do. It was pretty simple and even if I messed up, who would know? I’m not the only one who would mess up we’re all new right? It was also to the point where going on the bus, doing this n that, or anything really didn’t phase me! "How I lost all of this?" I moved and I think the area plus new situations brought on more sever anxiety..."which is where I'm at now" but, I'm working on getting better, and I will if I have anything to do with it!  Everything happens for a reason though, uknow…


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

I agree with you. There is one thing I'm learning through the process and that is being able to accept S.A. for what it is. What I mean by that is not trying to fight it, but instead learning from it and using it as something like a cue to get you where you _really_ want to go. I know it's hard to do, but like you said, it's only the anxiety you fear that makes things seem bad, yet when you look back it's a major accomplishment just by being there and participating in learning new things about yourself and others. It sounds like you have the right idea and I wish you the best!


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## aka dru (Oct 30, 2004)

Thanks alot!  I need all the help and support I can get! lol I might drop off a present to one of my friends I haven't seen in a long WHILE. I can't stop thinkin about it! And I feel anxious, real anxious! I know that when I go it won’t seem as bad as it is in my head. I shouldn't be thinking like that though. I mean I'm droppin off a present to a friend that's something that's good, and they've wanted to see me for a while. That’s how I need to look at it. It’s so funny though I freak out so much but when I'm in the actual situation, I know how to handle myself. Or I'm gettin better at it I guess  One thing I tell myself as well is..."whatever lame negative thoughts you have about yourself, people can't see it! Don’t believe the negative hype! You’re a good person like everyone else! I have the right to have fun, enjoy life and to have a good time like anyone else. I’m good enough!"


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## M.L. Joynes (Aug 14, 2005)

That is way awesome!!!! How did you get this opportunity to talk on t.v. about your anxiety? Forgive me if you said how, I must of overlooked it then. But, wow that takes real courage! You are good enough! Live life to the fullest! You deserve it!!!


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## M.L. Joynes (Aug 14, 2005)

That is way awesome!!!! How did you get this opportunity to talk on t.v. about your anxiety? Forgive me if you said how, I must of overlooked it then. But, wow that takes real courage! You are good enough! Live life to the fullest! You deserve it!!!


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## aka dru (Oct 30, 2004)

yeah, trust me! you gots to try and live life to the fullest. if you don't you'll look back on your life and think of all that time you wasted doing nothing! and all those opportunities you missed. one thing I keep thinking about and something that keeps me going is "hey, don't you want to be that old granddad or uncle bragging to kids of all the things you did! or all the places you've been too? telling them stories!?" and it would be so cool cuz you can brag and at the same time motivate kids to do what they want to do in life, because you're living proof! that's one thing that motivates me and makes me want to never give up!  "oh! and how I got on tv?" someone I know that works at the tv station over heard the program director talking about anxiety, so they rushed and called me. I don't like giving myself alot of time to think so...I just said "yes!" because I knew if I waited it would be harder for me to agree to it. lol and wow I'm glad I did it. and I'd do it again. I just hope more people are taking it more serious now, uknow...


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## M.L. Joynes (Aug 14, 2005)

I like your "go for it" attitude! You really have a great outlook and I pray it continues to motivate you. I have always believed that when you put others before yourself, in this case, you didn't let your anxiety keep you from getting the info out there so that people can have greater awareness and understanding of sa, you will be blessed and rewarded for it. I see how that has happened for you.


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