# Whats up with some men and their high expectations?!!!!



## lalala1 (Dec 4, 2012)

Ugh I'm just so irritated at this point.

I don't see where some of these men get the nerve to think they deserve 10s or better when they look and act like they deserve a 0.

So I've been talking to a guy I met on this site for quite awhile and he seemed cool in the beginning.....I sent this guy some naughty pics and that was before I knew he only liked perfect women. One day he started talking about how he like this girl BUT she needed to at least lose 5-10 pounds and I'm thinking WTF!! He said he only dates chicks with perfect body such as flat stomach, nice perky boobs, nice round butt. 

This is not the first time I've seen this. When I was in chat their were several men posting pics of chicks that look like they were photoshopped to the gawds, and they said they would only date chicks that looked like that. WTF, and these are men who say they haven't kissed touched dated a chick in years LOL.

Lol are they just watching to much p0rn and don't understand that a lot women don't look like that, especially when gravity takes over? What is wrong with them? Or is it just them thinking with their nasty little things?


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

Duplicate account? I think I know who you two are, which goes to show how pathetic my life is.


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## NoIce (Sep 10, 2011)

Don't take it too seriously - some people have high expectations but it's not up to anyone else to tell them what they should desire. 

You also need to consider that pictures on the internet dont have personality. In real life people fall in love with imperfect people all the time, a personality goes a long way to make us see another as perfect and loveable. You don't get that from a picture, so generally yes, the "perfect"(debateable) looking women do tend to get more hits online, but then if we suppose that the internet was all audio based, those with the perfect voices would get the most listens.


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## kast (Nov 22, 2012)

Chatrooms aren't the best place to find sane and accurate representations of people. Also theyre probably just being keyboard warriors and talking crap around their buddies.


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## Uggly (Dec 19, 2012)

I agree Lalala. You just forget about those losers and wait up for a better person.


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

Well if they have such high expectations they should stop to whine that they are single. 

These goes for both genders. I am very open minded regarding looks btw. For a relationship I believe the inner self of people is more important. 

But noted this trend in women of course (they want the "only one" and just dont try to except the one that may not have all the qualities they want, might be a good partner, too)


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

How dare they, yeah :sus Just look at how close your face and body is of perfect, dude.. lol... 

Girls are too nice to boys, more pricking back about their looks and body might help. I am also getting sicked of every day critizising how women suck.. Just look at yourselves dudes and STFU.

Boys could also shave and use some make up to hide their faults. "Natural make up" of course.. Hide your faults but don't let us to guess you have some, lol

Girls should let guys hear also what all is wrong with them


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## BKrakow (Jul 8, 2010)

male privilege and entitlement is out of control. it gets better when you get into a relationship--they stop putting in any effort whatsoever, and think it's your duty to have sex with them whenever they snap their fingers.


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

BKrakow said:


> and think it's your duty to have sex with them whenever they snap their fingers.


Yes, how rude :mum


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## tranquildream (Nov 17, 2010)

BKrakow said:


> male privilege and entitlement is out of control. it gets better when you get into a relationship--they stop putting in any effort whatsoever, and think it's your duty to have sex with them whenever they snap their fingers.


I have noticed this as well. I hope it's not true for every guy though. It's like there's a honeymoon period when they put effort into every aspect of the relationship and then just stop everything eventually. Sigh. I have also noticed a common thing where guys notice actresses on tv and find the need to point out their "flaws". Makes me feel very cynical about how society likes to judge everyone based on appearances. I know there are girls out there too that can be very shallow and would support that attitude towards beauty.


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

Just how it is I know I'm picky (not about looks, but about other traits) and I honestly believe even if I was able to let go of my "standards" that no one would still want me. But I own it, being picky doesn't help matters...


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## NoIce (Sep 10, 2011)

I'm going to go ahead and pretend a few of the posts in this thread are satire...


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

They can have all the expectations they want, but when they're not getting any then they certainly don't have the last laugh. There are plenty of guys with realistic expectations out there, and believe me - someone less than their perfect dream girl starts showing them some attention, they drop their delusions real quick.


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## BKrakow (Jul 8, 2010)

tranquildream said:


> I have noticed this as well. I hope it's not true for every guy though. It's like there's a honeymoon period when they put efffort into every aspect of the relationship and then just stop everything eventually. Sigh. I have also noticed a common thing where guys notice actresses on tv and find the need to point out their "flaws". Makes me feel very cynical about how society likes to judge everyone based on appearances. I know there are girls out there too that can be very shallow and would support that attitude towards beauty.


yeah, it sucks. men can be really callous about sex in that way. like, once the honeymoon period is over and the sexual relationship has been established, the effort just stops. definitely makes you feel like sex is the primary motivation there (and yeah, before anyone says anything, I've experienced plenty of this behavior from "nice guys," not just stereotypical jerks). and they start to get angry when you're not in the mood, despite not doing a damn thing to try and actually get you in the mood. very frustrating.

I have two older brothers too and yeah, they've always done a lot of bashing and critiquing of women's looks. definitely impacted my self-esteem when I was younger, but in a way I'm thankful because it helped me understand how wrong it is, and now I tell them so when they talk like that. I also hate when some men act like women need to look perfect, while they themselves walk around looking like nasty trolls who can't even be bothered to put on a clean shirt.


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## lalala1 (Dec 4, 2012)

rymo said:


> They can have all the expectations they want, but when they're not getting any then they certainly don't have the last laugh. There are plenty of guys with realistic expectations out there, and believe me - someone less than their perfect dream girl starts showing them some attention, they drop their delusions real quick.


Yes exactly! I bet not one of them would turn down some "average puss". And that is why I just laugh at them, like you can't be serious.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

What about five foot nothing women who don't want anything to do with men under six feet tall?

Women are just as bad if not worse. Deal with it.


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## lalala1 (Dec 4, 2012)

BKrakow said:


> and they start to get angry when you're not in the mood, despite not doing a damn thing to try and actually get you in the mood. very frustrating.
> 
> I also hate when some men act like women need to look perfect, while they themselves walk around looking like nasty trolls who can't even be bothered to put on a clean shirt.


OMG woooow yes. Its like what makes you think I'm in the mood just because you say "Hey lets do it". Why not try to actually make me want to be in the mood instead of being demanding and expecting me to be like ok yea lets. And then when ya don't put out....all of a sudden were a bi tch.

Yes that to, the ones that seem to expect the most are the ones that aren't even close to being all that. Omg I'm laughing so hard at they don't even bother to put on a clean shirt but really expect to have a women thats top of the line. AHAHAHA like gtfo.


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## lalala1 (Dec 4, 2012)

TPower said:


> What about five foot nothing women who don't want anything to do with men under six feet tall?
> 
> Women are just as bad if not worse. Deal with it.


Ok there is nothing wrong with having a preference....Some women don't like short men there is nothing wrong with that.

My problem is the women that are like my man has to have ripped hard rock abs, perfect hair, perfect teeth, like a fu cking photoshopped picture. And aren't willing to give any man a chance if he doesn't look like that. To me those are expectations they are just ridiculous and it goes for men to that want chicks that look like barbie dolls when in reality most chicks don't have these perfect everything.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

lalala1 said:


> Ok there is nothing wrong with having a preference....Some women don't like short men there is nothing wrong with that.


Then there is nothing wrong with men having a preference for fit women either. Right?

In fact I would think fitness is more important. Height is not something anyone can choose. Anyone can be fit if they want to be.


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

Hadron said:


> Females have higher expectations due to their biology and are less likely to settle for guys who don't meet their criteria.


This is true if you mean that they need to invest more (means bearing children), so they need to be more careful with sexual contacts than men. And I also am ok if females have their preferences (of course if women would sleep with every bum around the corner it would be pretty disgusting and not very attractive).

I just find them over the top in much cases. And in theses cases the females (same as men) should not complain about being single and alone. But I guess this kind of discussion leads to nothing as I find a strange trend to some kind of "gender war" in this forum. Which I dont want to support.

But in the end the female choses the male, that is the reality we SA men must face and realize. And it isn´t pretty for the nice+shy guy of course. But its reality. Sure there are exceptions which prove this rule.

I read this in a "flirt" book: Men line themselfes up for consideration by the female and the female choses the one which she deems most attractive to her. This "lining up" is of course another term for "approaching" them. Which is so nerve wracking just exact the reason that you will be judged merciless by them... ergo you need confidence an d strength alone to survive this process, unless you are "Mr. Perfect"


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## Corvus Cowl (Apr 25, 2012)

So long as 'dem sandwiches continue to be produced from that spotless kitchen and clothing falls off when commanded, most men would be appeased...

But enough sexist sarcasm. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, whether it is physical appearance or personality clicks. We are all guilty of having preferences, whether we want to admit them or not. Heck, people like to hate people just because those individuals are more open with their preferences than others.

As far as men being demanding of things such as sex, I am fairly certain women are just as demanding, but perhaps in a more subtle manner (men are stereotypically more direct, and women are stereotypically not). What I find funny is that genders like to point fingers at each other for things that they dislike about one another. I guarantee that males are complaining somewhere that women seem to not like to have sex when asked. And if the genders switched roles (men not putting out when women ask/demand it), then they would be complaining about "how women are too demanding", and "men are not giving it when asked".


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## sorrwel (May 20, 2012)

Corvus Cowl said:


> So long as 'dem sandwiches continue to be produced from that spotless kitchen and clothing falls off when commanded, most men would be appeased...
> 
> But enough sexist sarcasm. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, whether it is physical appearance or personality clicks. We are all guilty of having preferences, whether we want to admit them or not. Heck, people like to hate people just because those individuals are more open with their preferences than others.
> 
> As far as men being demanding of things such as sex, I am fairly certain women are just as demanding, but perhaps in a more subtle manner (men are stereotypically more direct, and women are stereotypically not). What I find funny is that genders like to point fingers at each other for things that they dislike about one another. I guarantee that males are complaining somewhere that women seem to not like to have sex when asked. And if the genders switched roles (men not putting out when women ask/demand it), then they would be complaining about "how women are too demanding", and "men are not giving it when asked".


^ this


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

If he's never even been close to a real relationship with a woman, and all he has is pictures of women on the internet, it's not very surprising if he's objectifying an entire sex. This usually happens when people spend too much time in isolation with internet access. I definitely am objectifying guys more, myself, now than I did a few years ago. Random people on pictures have no personalities, that's why you often prefer the one you find the most attractive. This is not how it works in the real world, where you interact with people and judge them by their looks and characters simultaneously. It definitely seems like lonely guys sit around with their chick pix more than girls do, though. Like a security blanket, sheltering them from the ~reality~.

/rambling and I'm not even gonna bother editing this


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

scarpia said:


> Then there is nothing wrong with men having a preference for fit women either. Right?
> 
> In fact I would think fitness is more important. Height is not something anyone can choose. Anyone can be fit if they want to be.


Nobody can choose their shape of teeth, shape of lips, nose, chin, forehead, ears, neck, bones, shape of the butt or breasts (no, not any fitness change the *shape*, it can be fit but still ugly), not lenght of the legs or size of a shoe, not color of a hair, not how long it will grow, not is it thick or thin.. No anything.. Some people cannot even choose their weight due to medication, sickness or what ever.

And nobody should be fit just to be hot in someone elses eyes. If anyone, anyone says something about body like he only likes big boobs etc. I reject him permanently. Because I am not my boobs. If he is looking for big boobs he can go to buy implants or what ever.

Why I am mad for guys they *want* girl to change her looks* for his sake*. You can color your hair, I like brunettes, blondes what ever.. You can go to dentists and rip your own teeth out and put nice plastic teeth.. Take breast implants, take butt implants, eek you have wrinkles go to plastic surgery.... .... .......... .....


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## kj87 (Sep 30, 2012)

Uggly said:


> I agree Lalala. You just forget about those losers and wait up for a better person.


Indeed. Some people are just scum :/
Not everyone is <3


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

This isn't surprising.


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## pineapplebun (Oct 25, 2011)

When he meets this perfect girl, and she rejects him, he's going to write a thread here or on frustration about this being proof that girls don't like nice guys xD. Because there is NO possibility that she may not like him because he's shallow, not actually a nice guy, doesn't have much to offer, not attractive himself, etc. And IMO, you aren't a nice guy/girl if you're just nice to certain people that you can gain something from. A genuinely nice guy or nice girl is kind and respectful to everyone.


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

pineapplebun said:


> A genuinely nice guy or nice girl is kind and respectful to everyone.


Boring and shallow imo. I wont be nice too certain politicians, banksters or mindless drug consumers. Fact. I am only nice to people who deserve it.


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## pineapplebun (Oct 25, 2011)

Nexus777 said:


> Boring and shallow imo. I wont be nice too certain politicians, banksters or mindless drug consumers. Fact. I am only nice to people who deserve it.


You take my statement a little too literal and are arguing over semantics. It goes without having to state the obvious that you would not be nice or respectful to someone who disrespects you. I don't really see how that is boring or shallow either.


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

Seems like just one account wasn't enough for SnowFlakesFire to spew out her infinite hate towards men.


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## Rich19 (Aug 11, 2012)

1,2,3,4 i declare a

GENDER WAR!!!!


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## Kittycatt (Dec 7, 2012)

No wonder us girls don't feel like we're good enough. I can't believe a guy would say he wanted a girl to lose 5-10 pounds... there's hardly a difference losing that much! Guys need to realize what the girl is like is whats more important, which is why I think guys say 'girls are such *****es' because the pretty girls didn't meet up to their expectations. Therefore, we are *****es for no reason! Porn has ruined a lot of guys expectations  I feel uncomfortable because of it.


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## lalala1 (Dec 4, 2012)

Rich19 said:


> 1,2,3,4 i declare a
> 
> GENDER WAR!!!!


No no no! That is not at all what this is about ok. So please don't.


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

Amphoteric said:


> Seems like just one account wasn't enough for SnowFlakesFire to spew out her infinite hate towards men.


And that is staff who sees the IP and accounts here, not some none member who hates other members to blame them :roll And do you know you accusing me for something I am not doing is actually ... a crime :clap


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

lalala, you were trolling in the chat rooms a few days ago. I'm pretty sure this is also in the same vein.

And if so, your plan has worked out magnificantly - we have ourselves a full blown gender war in here.


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## BrookeHannigan (Mar 29, 2012)

Okay 1. Never and i mean NEVER EVER send "naughty pics" to anyone not even long term bfs
2nd Some people have whole lists, but there is not a single person in this entire world whod match all of them, mine wasnt so long the only thing i wanted was a atheist and introverted guy,
Im now engaged to a extremely extroverted muslim lol
Lot of people end up with the complete opposite of their expectations so dont worry
Its better to get to know guys offline, onnline faking and such is just way too easy,also pretend to be somebody else is too easy sooner or later he will reveal his real self for the worse, cant keep faking 4ever


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## Zerix (Jan 21, 2012)

TPower said:


> What about five foot nothing women who don't want anything to do with men under six feet tall?
> 
> Women are just as bad if not worse. Deal with it.


This.

And yes, if that girl could just lose 10 lbs or so, she would probably look twice as stunning as she does now being a little thicker than thick. I know what I have gotten, and I know who I have been DESIRED BY, maybe that is why my expectations are too high, but porn certainly has no role in a man's criteria if he has already been out in the field, sorry ladies, so please no making that up.

And yes, most men would prefer that girl everyone wants, nice thighs big boobs flat tummy, but personality goes A LONG WAY, true, just that physical attraction is a must.

Oh, and let's not forget, guys also judge you on your status, so don't ho around.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Guys with social anxiety are so sweet.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

scarpia said:


> Then there is nothing wrong with men having a preference for fit women either. Right?
> 
> In fact I would think fitness is more important. Height is not something anyone can choose. Anyone can be fit if they want to be.


This. :yes


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

BKrakow said:


> yeah, it sucks. men can be really callous about sex in that way. like, once the honeymoon period is over and the sexual relationship has been established, the effort just stops. definitely makes you feel like sex is the primary motivation there (and yeah, before anyone says anything, I've experienced plenty of this behavior from "nice guys," not just stereotypical jerks). and they start to get angry when you're not in the mood, despite not doing a damn thing to try and actually get you in the mood. very frustrating.
> 
> I have two older brothers too and yeah, they've always done a lot of bashing and critiquing of women's looks. definitely impacted my self-esteem when I was younger, but in a way I'm thankful because it helped me understand how wrong it is, and now I tell them so when they talk like that. I also hate when some men act like women need to look perfect, while they themselves walk around looking like nasty trolls who can't even be bothered to put on a clean shirt.


I noticed some lose interest in kissing and foreplay after a while. They just want to get straight to the action even though before there was much more foreplay.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

scarpia said:


> Then there is nothing wrong with men having a preference for fit women either. Right?
> 
> In fact I would think fitness is more important. Height is not something anyone can choose. Anyone can be fit if they want to be.


Something like 95% of all dieters gain back the weight so I would not say it's easy to change. It's not easy like taking a shower, getting a haircut, using makeup, or wearing nice clothes.


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

I am taking a new rule from men for men. A guy should not weight more than 114 lbs because all over that is too thick. A guy does not look good when he is thick. He should be fit as 114 lbs or under that. Belly does not belong to a human body at all. My ex was really petite guy, short and no extra, he was perfect.

I think I have to write this dude's faults up who with I am dating now.. He is not perfect at all.. He is too tall for starters :mumHe could cut some inches off. They break legs to grow more bone and height, he could cut his legs for me to be as short as I like best


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

SnowFlakesFire said:


> Nobody can choose their shape of teeth, shape of lips, nose, chin, forehead, ears, neck, bones, shape of the butt or breasts (no, not any fitness change the *shape*, it can be fit but still ugly), not lenght of the legs or size of a shoe, not color of a hair, not how long it will grow, not is it thick or thin.. No anything.. Some people cannot even choose their weight due to medication, sickness or what ever.
> 
> And nobody should be fit just to be hot in someone elses eyes. If anyone, anyone says something about body like he only likes big boobs etc. I reject him permanently. Because I am not my boobs. If he is looking for big boobs he can go to buy implants or what ever.
> 
> Why I am mad for guys they *want* girl to change her looks* for his sake*. You can color your hair, I like brunettes, blondes what ever.. You can go to dentists and rip your own teeth out and put nice plastic teeth.. Take breast implants, take butt implants, eek you have wrinkles go to plastic surgery.... .... .......... .....


 She said this:


lalala1 said:


> One day he started talking about how he like this girl BUT she needed to at least lose 5-10 pounds and I'm thinking WTF!! He said he only dates chicks with perfect body such as flat stomach, nice perky boobs, nice round butt.


 That indicated he wanted a woman who was fit. Nothing was said about perfect teeth or lips. Fitness is important and it is something people choose. It says something about a person's personality and discipline. now if the guy was not fit I could understand the problem. She didn't say anything about that. But you have to understand that a physically fit man will want a physically fit woman.


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

scarpia said:


> She said this:
> But you have to understand that a physically fit man *will want* a physically fit woman.


Comoon, get real.. My ex is a body builder and his ex wife is something like 220 lbs... People like what they like, you cannot speak for all guys. Some skinny and fit guys like fat women, some good looking guys like ugly women.. Not all fit guys are as selfish as you are. Some men can see a soul inside of a body.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

SnowFlakesFire said:


> Comoon, get real.. My ex is a body builder and his ex wife is something like 220 lbs... People like what they like, you cannot speak for all guys. Some skinny and fit guys like fat women, some good looking guys like ugly women.. Not all fit guys are as selfish as you are. Some men can see a soul inside of a body.


And yet I see this:


lalala1 said:


> Ok there is nothing wrong with having a preference....Some women don't like short men there is nothing wrong with that.


Can't woman see the soul inside of a short man's body? Why is it ok for women to have preferences and not OK for men to have preferences?


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## BrookeHannigan (Mar 29, 2012)

scarpia said:


> And yet I see this:
> 
> Can't woman see the soul inside of a short man's body? Why is it ok for women to have preferences and not OK for men to have preferences?


It is
You are brainwashed thinking all women only want a 6 tall guy,
My bf happands to be 6"1,
But I am 5'4 and a half id date any guy above and 5'5


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

scarpia said:


> And yet I see this:
> 
> Can't woman see the soul inside of a short man's body? Why is it ok for women to have preferences and not OK for men to have preferences?


And yet I like short men so haha... If you would compare height to height or weight to weight I would be ok with that. But when people compare weight to height.. It is not equal.

People CAN have preferences, it is not anyones business really.. Take a tooth pick or fitness model or fat lady but DON'T ever demand her to change for you. Do you understand what I am saying? It is not YOUR business what women are going to look like, if she does not please your eye, shut up and move on to find someone who is good enough for you. Nobody is meant to please you, hells sake...


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

BrookeHannigan said:


> It is
> You are brainwashed thinking all women only want a 6 tall guy,
> My bf happands to be 6"1,
> But I am 5'4 and a half id date any guy above and 5'5


I am not brainwashed. Right there you say you don't want a man shorter than you.



SnowFlakesFire said:


> And yet I like short men so haha... If you would compare height to height or weight to weight I would be ok with that. But when people compare weight to height.. It is not equal.
> 
> People CAN have preferences, it is not anyones business really.. Take a tooth pick or fitness model or fat lady but DON'T ever demand her to change for you. Do you understand what I am saying? It is not YOUR business what women are going to look like, if she does not please your eye, shut up and move on to find someone who is good enough for you. Nobody is meant to please you, hells sake...


The guy wasn't demending that anyone lose weight. He just stated his preference and how he would not date outside the preference. Like you said "People CAN have preferences, it is not anyones business really"


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## Isabelle50 (Nov 19, 2012)

Ah, its incredibly scummy to ask a girl you want to start dating to lose 5-10 lbs. People are welcome to their preferences, but not to belittle other people or try to shame them into changing themselves.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

SnowFlakesFire said:


> Why I am mad for guys they want girl to change her looks for his sake. You can color your hair, I like brunettes, blondes what ever.. You can go to dentists and rip your own teeth out and put nice plastic teeth.. Take breast implants, take butt implants, eek you have wrinkles go to plastic surgery.... .... .......... .....


I completely agree. I take care of myself and try to look good for _myself_, not for anyone else. I have had terrible male "friends" in the past that have compared my looks to other girls' TO MY FACE, and have told me that I needed various cosmetic operations in order to even get guys to be attracted to me. For example, in high school, one guy said to me, "Dan's (my crush at the time) sister is SO much prettier than you. If you got a nose job and fixed that strong jaw of yours, then maybe he'd like you." He was being completely serious. This is half the reason why I hate my looks so much - because I know how harshly I am judged by guys. I can walk down the street and practically see myself being picked apart and scrutinized. I've been called a man, a horse, an ape - every flavor of hideous, you name it, it's been stamped to my forehead and I wear it wherever I go. I never understood why some people feel the need to let others know they're ugly. I already know how I look. I am not blind.

I think it's perfectly fine for men and women to have preferences, but I think it's ridiculous when these preferences are disgustingly unrealistic and narrow. For example, I know women who refuse to date men under 6'2", and only prefer model types with six-pack abs. And I know men that won't date a woman above 115-120 lbs (even if she's 5'11"!) or one that doesn't have a perfect little ski-jump nose and full lips. What is even worse is the fact that some people have the nerve to tell people to _fix themselves with surgery_ to fit such ideals. :no Of course almost all of us want someone who we find physically attractive, and for the most part we can't help our standards, but I do think there are a lot of people (at least ages 20-30) that have astronomical expectations, and consider very minor flaws to be deal-breakers. I personally think that flaws add character, and some are a big turn-on for me. :yes


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## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

Ugh, unfortunately I was raised by an extremely sexist, conservative father and it had its damages. It took some time for me to recognize the fact that not all men think this way or behave that way, but it really drags me backwards when I see guys with these unrealistic expectations. I suffer with severe BDD issues, and it just makes me want to live underground for the rest of my life because I know I'll never be perfect.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

kast said:


> Chatrooms aren't the best place to find sane and accurate representations of people. Also theyre probably just being keyboard warriors and talking crap around their buddies.


:haha


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

this thread was doomed to become a gender war form the third post or so


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## Corvus Cowl (Apr 25, 2012)

illmatic1 said:


> this thread was doomed to become a *gender war* form the third post or so


SAS... SAS never changes...

It's funny how the powers of assumption group people together. When we get hurt, we like to assume what happened if we don't have the full story to fill in the gaps left empty. The mind is crazy like that.


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## trendyfool (Apr 11, 2010)

Reading this thread is one of those times when I'm very glad that I'm gay.


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

scarpia said:


> Why is it ok for women to have preferences and not OK for men to have preferences?


I haven't been in one of these threads in a while, but last I checked women aren't allowed to like "jocks" or "bad boys" or the perceived antithesis of a male with SA.

Also, it's heavily implied that women should ignore their preferences (and safety) and give just about any male who asks them out a chance.


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## DWILLIGANS (Jul 28, 2012)

Not all men are this shallow.


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

SnowFlakesFire said:


> And that is staff who sees the IP and accounts here, not some none member who hates other members to blame them :roll And do you know you accusing me for something I am not doing is actually ... a crime :clap


What, none member? You are making no sense.
Just this other thing I saw you post in another thread made it clear enough for me to justify "accusing" you of anything: "_Some forums ban people with multiple accounts. If that is allowed here I think I make couple of sock puppets too so I can keep fun with me _"


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

Amphoteric said:


> What, none member? You are making no sense.
> Just this other thing I saw you post in another thread made it clear enough for me to justify "accusing" you of anything: "_Some forums ban people with multiple accounts. If that is allowed here I think I make couple of sock puppets too so I can keep fun with me _"


Does it mean what I said is more than a joke? By none member I mean no power such as moderators have.

And what comes to my sense of fun, I would not ruin my day by sad and serious problems like this thread is but I would just... Keep fun!


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

rednosereindeer said:


> I haven't been in one of these threads in a while, but last I checked women aren't allowed to like "jocks" or "bad boys" or the perceived antithesis of a male with SA.
> 
> Also, it's heavily implied that women should ignore their preferences (and safety) and give just about any male who asks them out a chance.


There are also threads/posts where men are told to lower their expectations and not only want a certain kind of women.
I think people in general like to comment and hmm.. 'advise'.. others - especially if it's something the person giving the comments has personal feelings attached to.
But it's not that comments are only given to girls.



tbyrfan said:


> Of course almost all of us want someone who we find physically attractive, and for the most part we can't help our standards, but I do think there are a lot of people (at least ages 20-30) that have astronomical expectations, and consider very minor flaws to be deal-breakers.


I think we can help it some tbh, it's just that many don't care to because they can get dates regardless. Not the only thing influencing it of course, but I think it accounts for some.
Also, it really helps to like the person :b This girl I'm crazy about considers herself average, but to me she's the most beautiful girl and I love looking at her.


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## Owl-99 (Mar 7, 2012)

komorikun said:


> Guys with social anxiety are so sweet.


Aww thanks babe.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

tbyrfan said:


> I completely agree. I take care of myself and try to look good for _myself_, not for anyone else.* I have had terrible male "friends" in the past that have compared my looks to other girls' TO MY FACE, and have told me that I needed various cosmetic operations in order to even get guys to be attracted to me. For example, in high school, one guy said to me, "Dan's (my crush at the time) sister is SO much prettier than you. If you got a nose job and fixed that strong jaw of yours, then maybe he'd like you."* He was being completely serious. This is half the reason why I hate my looks so much - because I know how harshly I am judged by guys. I can walk down the street and practically see myself being picked apart and scrutinized. I've been called a man, a horse, an ape - every flavor of hideous, you name it, it's been stamped to my forehead and I wear it wherever I go. I never understood why some people feel the need to let others know they're ugly. I already know how I look. I am not blind.
> 
> I think it's perfectly fine for men and women to have preferences, but I think it's ridiculous when these preferences are disgustingly unrealistic and narrow. For example, I know women who refuse to date men under 6'2", and only prefer model types with six-pack abs. And I know men that won't date a woman above 115-120 lbs (even if she's 5'11"!) or one that doesn't have a perfect little ski-jump nose and full lips. What is even worse is the fact that some people have the nerve to tell people to _fix themselves with surgery_ to fit such ideals. :no Of course almost all of us want someone who we find physically attractive, and for the most part we can't help our standards, but I do think there are a lot of people (at least ages 20-30) that have astronomical expectations, and consider very minor flaws to be deal-breakers. I personally think that flaws add character, and some are a big turn-on for me. :yes


Wow what ignorant a-holes. I think I would punch someone in the face if they called me ugly. Some nasty people you have been dealing with.

And I agree with the rest of your post. People should really keep their opinions of how others are "supposed" to look to themselves.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

rednosereindeer said:


> I haven't been in one of these threads in a while, but last I checked women aren't allowed to like "jocks" or "bad boys" or the perceived antithesis of a male with SA.
> 
> Also, it's heavily implied that women should ignore their preferences (and safety) and give just about any male who asks them out a chance.


I think both sexes do this about evenly. There is no need for this to turn into a gender war.


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## Corvus Cowl (Apr 25, 2012)

scarpia said:


> I think both sexes do this about evenly. There is no need for this to turn into a gender war.


Exactly. Both like to point fingers at each other for having high standards, when both are equally guilty of having them. People also like to pull apart others for their standards when they do not meet them, when there are many others out there that would accept them for who they are, but instead only like to worry about those who reject them.


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## Shinichi (Dec 4, 2012)

Ugh, I met both women and men with ridiculously high standards. I don't understand these gender wars as both sexes are equally bad.


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## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

I can't speak for all men, but I do have a friend who I would consider a 5 (would be quite a bit higher if he groomed himself and lost a couple of lbs). He has an OKCupid and sometimes I watch him while he's on it. He is SO picky with chicks. Chicks that are out of his league as it is, and he wants nothing to do with them because they're not attractive enough. It's super confusing for me. Even 1 or 2 girls have been interested in him, and he doesn't even give them a chance.

The irony of it all is that his old girlfriend was like a 4/5 at best, but that didn't seem to bother him, because he met her RL. I think online dating really promotes an entitled, shallow(er) approach to dating. It can never account for the actual chemistry of interacting with a real person.


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## Doomed (Jul 29, 2012)

rednosereindeer said:


> I haven't been in one of these threads in a while, but last I checked women aren't allowed to like "jocks" or "bad boys" or the perceived antithesis of a male with SA.
> 
> Also, it's heavily implied that women should ignore their preferences (and safety) and give just about any male who asks them out a chance.


You're allowed to like and date anyone you please.

But I'm glad to read that you're still making generalizations about a group of males with social anxiety based on the responses from a few.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Uggly said:


> I agree Lalala. You just forget about those losers and wait up for a better person.


 Yep -

Dump the ZERO and find yourself a HERO.


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## FeelNothing (Sep 25, 2012)

I haven't read all the replies and this probably has been said before, but what's up with some women and their high expectations?!!!!


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

lalala1 said:


> *I sent this guy some naughty pics*


You did WHAT?!

You should NEVER do that with a guy you just met *online*...

:no


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

All I have to say is this:

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/1060144985-post5281.html

Women can be just as cruel and mean as men, in certain contexts. Not all of the time. Generalizations are bad for this sensitive topic, that is for sure.

Good Night,
-CodeMonkey


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## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

lalala1 said:


> Ugh I'm just so irritated at this point.
> 
> I don't see where some of these men get the nerve to think they deserve 10s or better when they look and act like they deserve a 0.
> 
> ...


And you want to know what the funny part is? The majority of these types of men with this type of superficial mentality hardly even marry women who resemble those types of women in porn videos or super model type of women/celebrities that they fantasize about. I've seen it too many times.The same goes for women. So, I don't understand people's high expectations. Just being real. I wouldn't let those types of idiots who think your not good enough get to you, when it comes to your physical characteristics. *Because 9 times out of 10, most men are not going to have the chance to marry a Taylor Swift or Megan Fox.*


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> You did WHAT?!
> 
> You should NEVER do that with a guy you just met *online*...
> 
> :no


Question is how naughty were they? I want to check, can OP send them to me, too???


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Nexus777 said:


> Question is how naughty were they? I want to check, can OP send them to me, too???


"facepalm"


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> "facepalm"


Like this:


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

I think they're living in lala land (heheh) if they really expect that. Real people don't look like that.(or I should say the vast majority of real people). Especially the photoshopped pictures. They're gonna be alone for a real Long time - or be making some woman miserable about not measuring up to Fantasy.


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

Shinichi said:


> Ugh, I met both women and men with ridiculously high standards. I don't understand these gender wars as both sexes are equally bad.


its about time somebody said it lol... the genders on this site think the other side is always greener in every way...


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## Shinichi (Dec 4, 2012)

Nexus777 said:


> Like this:


Or this


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## NoHeart (May 5, 2012)

I don't care what people look like but I have high expectations in terms of personality and interests / likes... atleast for a partner.


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

Hadron said:


> Lol, I wouldn't rule it out.
> 
> She is one hardcore, bitter feminist.


Oh good. I was afraid this thread would keep on going without someone throwing in an irrelevant jab at feminism.


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## General Specific (Mar 4, 2008)

Goes both ways though. There are a lot of women out there with high expectations who aren't all that special and don't have much to offer.


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## bitoqueen (Feb 18, 2011)

Yeah that's the problem with men, and sadly us women as well.

As woman we are judged primarily by our looks when it comes to finding a mate so if you are an ugly woman you are at a disadvantage, if your are average then u have a little bit of a chance of picking up a few men, and if you are hot, well I guess they can have any pick of the men they want.

Why do you think that society is ok with seeing a fat man with hot chick or an older guy with a younger chick and nobody says anything? It's because we are judged on our looks. Men are picky, and possibly selfish. This is why I just don't care about them anymore. I've practically given up on them.

It annoys me when I see all these men complaining about "being a nice guy" and not finding any women but yet when u ask them the kind of women they want they have to be DIMES in order for them to even consider you. 

It's very complicated and ugly. I'm yet to see any guy who's not selfish, shallow, or picky.


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## Skttrbrain (Jun 17, 2011)

If you wanted a man to see you as more than a body, then why the hell would you send a dirty pic of yourself? There's already an insane amount of naked pics online, you're body is going to have to be pretty stunning to stand out.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Skttrbrain said:


> If you wanted a man to see you as more than a body, then why the hell would you send a dirty pic of yourself?


I agree with this post. Good point.

If a girl sent me those kinds of pictures, I would say that she is kind of ****ty and pretentious. It is a huge turn-off, especially if she starts feeling uncomfortable if comments are made about them.

Live and learn.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Skttrbrain said:


> If you wanted a man to see you as more than a body, then why the hell would you send a dirty pic of yourself? There's already an insane amount of naked pics online, you're body is going to have to be pretty stunning to stand out.


It's so much more exciting when it's someone you already know and have talked too, and then you get to see her naked. It doesn't even compare to random internet porn.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Nexus777 said:


> Like this:


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## Owl-99 (Mar 7, 2012)

lalala1 said:


> Ugh I'm just so irritated at this point.
> 
> I don't see where some of these men get the nerve to think they deserve 10s or better when they look and act like they deserve a 0.
> 
> ...


They are the same as stuck up women who believe they deserve Mr Perfect. In my opinion they are both jackasses


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

lalala1 said:


> Ugh I'm just so irritated at this point.
> 
> I don't see where some of these men get the nerve to think they deserve 10s or better when they look and act like they deserve a 0.
> 
> ...


So about these naughty pics...


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## Skttrbrain (Jun 17, 2011)

arnie said:


> It's so much more exciting when it's someone you already know and have talked too, and then you get to see her naked. It doesn't even compare to random internet porn.


I understand, but how well did she know him? She sent the pic and soon found out how shallow he is.

Oh well, you live and you learn. OP, next time I'd suggest getting to know a guy first. Not all guys are like that.


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## Irvine (May 30, 2012)

opcorn


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Allow me the honour of renaming this thread:

Why do men_ who meet my exceedingly high expectations _don't seem to be interested in me who *doesn't* meet their exceedingly high expectations.

When put that way it's kind of self explainatory. (and the same applies to guys btw)

2 main options available to ya;

-> Improve yourself to meet said expectations. 
-> Become less picky and reduce your own.

*personality though is a nice potential wild card, I've noticed couples who I guess to the cynical eye most would say don't match up based on appearance. But because one has a cracking personality they have defied said convention. It works for both genders btw, but for obvious reasons more men go down this route than women.


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## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

It amazes me even though this thread topic is spoken about so frequently on here, and yet every thread goes down the same route... discussion breaks out, followed by someone taking offence, followed by generalisations being thrown around wildly as if they were going out of fashion, followed by the butthurt people involved in the gender war, eventually leading to an inevitable locked thread. Oh and theres always that guy who throws some "scientific" numbers/"facts" around too.

I will add my own fact, it is more common for women to have longer hair than men. Nailed you all.


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## GD8 (May 7, 2011)

I don't even like perfectly flat stomachs and toned abs, unless the girl is just naturally skinny or something.


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## ShouNagatsuki (Oct 20, 2012)

This thread makes me glad that I'm asexual.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

ShouNagatsuki said:


> This thread makes me glad that I'm asexual.


There are selfish people from both genders. You've got to learn how to spot them though, before entering a relationship.


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## ShouNagatsuki (Oct 20, 2012)

Paper Samurai said:


> There are selfish people from both genders. You've got to learn how to spot them though, before entering a relationship.


I fully notice that, which is why I said I'm glad I'm not sexually/romantically attracted to any gender... I don't have to deal with the hassle of spotting the genuinely nice girl/guy, who are quite difficult to find nowadays.


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

The original post by the op is blown way out of proportion, I know who they are talking about, and he never said anything close to that. Also the stuff from chat shes mentioning is exaggerated to hell and never happens unless someone is being sarcastic. 

thread was good to get the jimmies rustling though.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

ShouNagatsuki said:


> I fully notice that, which is why I said I'm glad I'm not sexually/romantically attracted to any gender... I don't have to deal with the hassle of spotting the genuinely nice girl/guy, who are quite difficult to find nowadays.


You may be a little to young to declare yourself fully asexual. Stress, depression, medication and a load of other things can make any form of attraction that you have almost non-existent.

I went through the same a couple of years ago.


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## ShouNagatsuki (Oct 20, 2012)

Paper Samurai said:


> You may be a little to young to declare yourself fully asexual. Stress, depression, medication and a load of other things can make any form of attraction that you have almost non-existent.
> 
> I went through the same a couple of years ago.


"You're too young".
People always say the same thing. I was sexually abused and to me sex is more of an ordeal. Tried it a few times and couldn't respond at all, if not frightened. IDK if things will change in the future, but at least I enjoy being alone at this moment.


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## GD8 (May 7, 2011)

ShouNagatsuki said:


> "You're too young".
> People always say the same thing. I was sexually abused and to me sex is more of an ordeal. Tried it a few times and couldn't respond at all, if not frightened. IDK if things will change in the future, but at least I enjoy being alone at this moment.


If you had casual sex and didn't enjoy it at all maybe you're just demisexual or something, or more than likely you're probably traumatized from the sexual abuse


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## ShouNagatsuki (Oct 20, 2012)

GD8 said:


> If you had casual sex and didn't enjoy it at all maybe you're just demisexual or something, or more than likely you're probably traumatized from the sexual abuse


I wouldn't call that 'casual sex' because the last time I consciously tried it was 3 years ago (for the sake of 'curing my trauma'), and never involving intercourse. I'm not frightened anymore but apathetic. Still, I'm happy that I don't have to deal with romance/dating/sexual tension problems, because, reading through many threads on this forum, they're quite stressful.


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## Eschara (Dec 12, 2012)

5'3, Capricorn, wisdom teeth pulled, north Korean immigrant, tetris prodigy who can ride a bike with no handlebars, heir of a substantial monetary inheritance who prefers sweets to starches

Not too much to ask really...


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## Lonelygirl1986 (Sep 4, 2012)

That happens quite alot really, my ex boyfriend (not the last one) would make comments and he was the ugliest b*stard alive.

One thing I have learnt though is just because somene is not very attractive as soon as he gets a girlfriend it doesn't mean to say he is going to fall at their feet - school girl error.


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## Und3rground (Apr 27, 2011)

You've all been trolled


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## lalala1 (Dec 4, 2012)

Elad said:


> The original post by the op is blown way out of proportion, I know who they are talking about, and he never said anything close to that. .


Yea ok because you've personally read our text messages and listened in on our phones calls. :roll

Anyways I've read the responses and this thread was not to be made into a gender war......secondly I'm not a troll and I think its rude to come into someones thread and call them a troll when they are asking a question that they are truly curious about. The **** outta my thread if you don't got sh it to say about the topic.....whats the point in even responding.

And to the people that said it goes the same way for women, yea it does and I stated that in one of my responses. I said it just seems a little over the top to have such high expectations such as perfect everything when no one is really perfect like the photo shopped pics and magazines people see.


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## Cletis (Oct 10, 2011)

I hear plenty of women talking about men's abs, butts, shoulders, etc. This is a two-way street. Both sexes are guilty of this.

I think the media has a lot to do with it. Pushing a certain look as "perfect" and desireable above all others. Most men and women can't meet the standard.


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## miminka (May 10, 2009)

BKrakow said:


> male privilege and entitlement is out of control. it gets better when you get into a relationship--they stop putting in any effort whatsoever, and think it's your duty to have sex with them whenever they snap their fingers.


so sad but so true. i haven't had to much experience with this myself but these kinds of attitudes are why it doesn't surprise me when i read things like, "40% of women prefer ice cream to sex". that just makes me so sad.. i mean that i find it so dissappointing that sex is seen as something that women submit to and men do to those women as opposed to something that is mutually pleasurable- where both parties feel comfortable to express their desires and tastes without shame or fear of judgement.

naomi wolf talks about how porn and the so-called 'sexual revolution' really dimished women's sexual freedom. this is in her essay 'the pornographic vagina' (among others). she basically says that porn is warping male sexuality by exposing men to increasingly violent, depraved or degrading images inasmuch as their exposure to it throughout society desensitizes them. this also makes it harder for men to be arroused by their partners whom they were once sexually attracted to. naturally women are then expected to behave like the women in porn- always sexually available, willing to submit to any sex act no matter how harmful or humilating for the sake of the arousal of their men. actually they're brainwashed into believing that this kind of sex, these specific sex acts per se constitute as pleasurable and normal. i feel like authentic female pleasure is factored out of this entirely.

when i think about this kind of thing it makes me want to cry. it's like normalized rape. it's gotten so bad that i don't even know what my authentic sexual desires are or what i'm just performing (or willing to perform) for the sake of my partner, factoring out my pleasure for the sake of theirs. oh well as women we're taught from an early age that we have to give, we're the 'people-pleasers' and in light of this it's no surprise that 'selfish' ranks as high on the list as 'b**ch' and 'wh**e' of insults that have the power to seriously wound women.


----------



## Lemon Juice (Dec 26, 2012)

FeelNothing said:


> I haven't read all the replies and this probably has been said before, but what's up with some women and their high expectations?!!!!


The difference is we are the ones that get penetrated so when were are told we are not good enough it adds another layer of dysfunction. Like some other posters said when some dumb *** picks some lucky 'ordinary' girl as a girlfriend the standards aren't laid to rest and turn to sexual standards...again we are the ones that get penetrated. Yeah we would like an attractive nice person to not make us feel suicidal.


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## Josefz27 (Oct 26, 2012)

I suck at talking to women and all that, and I have those high-*** expectations...until I start talking to a woman, than the expectations fade away and my standards go very 'low.' 

If she's hot and boring/rude/no sense of humor, I feel like I would only want her for sex. If an ok looking girl seemed friendly/cool to talk to, she turns cute. (Kinda sad how I expect that but b/c of my SA, I myself can't act friendly/easy to talk to) On a dating site I would have high expectations since I can't even meet the person/see them in real life.


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## arpeggiator (Jan 6, 2011)

mardou said:


> so sad but so true. i haven't had to much experience with this myself but these kinds of attitudes are why it doesn't surprise me when i read things like, "40% of women prefer ice cream to sex". that just makes me so sad.. i mean that i find it so dissappointing that sex is seen as something that women submit to and men do to those women as opposed to something that is mutually pleasurable- where both parties feel comfortable to express their desires and tastes without shame or fear of judgement.
> 
> naomi wolf talks about how porn and the so-called 'sexual revolution' really dimished women's sexual freedom. this is in her essay 'the pornographic vagina' (among others). she basically says that porn is warping male sexuality by exposing men to increasingly violent, depraved or degrading images inasmuch as their exposure to it throughout society desensitizes them. this also makes it harder for men to be arroused by their partners whom they were once sexually attracted to. naturally women are then expected to behave like the women in porn- always sexually available, willing to submit to any sex act no matter how harmful or humilating for the sake of the arousal of their men. actually they're brainwashed into believing that this kind of sex, these specific sex acts per se constitute as pleasurable and normal. i feel like authentic female pleasure is factored out of this entirely.
> 
> when i think about this kind of thing it makes me want to cry. it's like normalized rape. it's gotten so bad that i don't even know what my authentic sexual desires are or what i'm just performing (or willing to perform) for the sake of my partner, factoring out my pleasure for the sake of theirs. oh well as women we're taught from an early age that we have to give, we're the 'people-pleasers' and in light of this it's no surprise that 'selfish' ranks as high on the list as 'b**ch' and 'wh**e' of insults that have the power to seriously wound women.


I agree that women's sexuality is repressed but you shouldn't blame the male gender for that. Society as a whole is the cause. You often hear 'Men are expected to be dominant and women submisive', this is the message we get everyday. Those who don't fit the mold are usually left alone, so the reality you're denouncing is not only accepted but encouraged. Gender violence is the result.

Women should state their personal preferences freely and set boundaries in a relationship. No one can obligate you to do anything you don't want to. If you're allowing it, you're contributing to the problem. Communication and education are the keys to solve this in my opinion.

And lastly let me tell you something: most men are not sexual predators; yeah we think about sex but we care about other things. We are also not stupid, most know the difference between porn and sex with a partner. Do you actually believe all men want their girlfriends to behave like porn stars?


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## The Professor (Jul 31, 2011)

mardou said:


> so sad but so true. i haven't had to much experience with this myself but these kinds of attitudes are why it doesn't surprise me when i read things like, "40% of women prefer ice cream to sex". that just makes me so sad.. i mean that i find it so dissappointing that sex is seen as something that women submit to and men do to those women as opposed to something that is mutually pleasurable- where both parties feel comfortable to express their desires and tastes without shame or fear of judgement.
> 
> naomi wolf talks about how porn and the so-called 'sexual revolution' really dimished women's sexual freedom. this is in her essay 'the pornographic vagina' (among others). she basically says that porn is warping male sexuality by exposing men to increasingly violent, depraved or degrading images inasmuch as their exposure to it throughout society desensitizes them. this also makes it harder for men to be arroused by their partners whom they were once sexually attracted to. naturally women are then expected to behave like the women in porn- always sexually available, willing to submit to any sex act no matter how harmful or humilating for the sake of the arousal of their men. actually they're brainwashed into believing that this kind of sex, these specific sex acts per se constitute as pleasurable and normal. i feel like authentic female pleasure is factored out of this entirely.
> 
> when i think about this kind of thing it makes me want to cry. it's like normalized rape. it's gotten so bad that i don't even know what my authentic sexual desires are or what i'm just performing (or willing to perform) for the sake of my partner, factoring out my pleasure for the sake of theirs. oh well as women we're taught from an early age that we have to give, we're the 'people-pleasers' and in light of this it's no surprise that 'selfish' ranks as high on the list as 'b**ch' and 'wh**e' of insults that have the power to seriously wound women.


Interesting, but what are the "female desires/pleasures" that are being overlooked and forgotten about?


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## Hopesfall (Dec 24, 2012)

komorikun said:


> Something like 95% of all dieters gain back the weight so I would not say it's easy to change. It's not easy like taking a shower, getting a haircut, using makeup, or wearing nice clothes.


might not be easy but its at least possible... opposed to growing more inches once your epiphyseal plates max out...

plus, at least if you make a valiant effort at trying to lose weight, it shows you have self responsibility since you're concerned about your physical health...

The way i see it though, if someone wants to have a preference for height then thats perfectly fine. If someone wants to have a preference for weight thats also fine too. But at least the preference for weight can also include personal health responsibilities


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Hopesfall said:


> might not be easy but its at least possible... opposed to growing more inches once your epiphyseal plates max out...
> 
> plus, at least if you make a valiant effort at trying to lose weight, it shows you have self responsibility since you're concerned about your physical health...
> 
> The way i see it though, if someone wants to have a preference for height then thats perfectly fine. If someone wants to have a preference for weight thats also fine too. But at least the preference for weight can also include personal health responsibilities


I've also read that being overweight but not obese is healthy. There were a few studies that found that overweight people had lower mortality rates than normal weight people. So being pudgy not fat is not really a bad thing health wise but men still prefer average to underweight.

So if you are 5'4 it's better to be 140 pounds than 120 pounds.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Both men and women are shallow. 

Guys that don't fit the criteria for dating are cast aside, usually. Women may say they like nerds and geeks, but few would actually go on a date with one.


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## GD8 (May 7, 2011)

WintersTale said:


> Both men and women are shallow.
> 
> Guys that don't fit the criteria for dating are cast aside, usually. Women may say they like nerds and geeks, *but few would actually go on a date with one.*


Says who?


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## Whatev (Feb 6, 2012)

Some guys/girls just need to lay off the tv, internet, and porn. Too much fantasy not enough reality.


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## Sniper Wolf (Oct 19, 2012)

lalala1 said:


> Ugh I'm just so irritated at this point.
> 
> I don't see where some of these men get the nerve to think they deserve 10s or better when they look and act like they deserve a 0.
> 
> ...


its okay....I'm here


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Borophyll said:


> Some guys/girls just need to lay off the tv, internet, and porn. Too much fantasy not enough reality.


That is easier said than done, and some people just cannot be helped (if they are addicted or dependent on pornography). Even you cannot deny this.


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## Amorphousanomaly (Jun 20, 2012)

People are allowed to be as picky as they want to be, it might result in long term loneliness though. Try not to take it personally, there are plenty of forgiving realists in the sea.


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## Kittycatt (Dec 7, 2012)

NoHeart said:


> I don't care what people look like but I have high expectations in terms of personality and interests / likes... atleast for a partner.


So when are you coming to the u.s. ? LOL


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

I'm really not _that_ picky. If a girl isn't overweight and has a decent face I'd date her. Most girls around here seem all to be overweight. And I'm not trying to crack on overweight people. I just have a preference. I'm not overweight myself.


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## flamingwind (Jan 1, 2013)

The same thing could be said for women as well, most people are picky and there is nothing you can do about it


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