# Has anyone conquered severe Love Shyness?



## InLoveWithaShyGuy (Dec 18, 2010)

Would love to hear your stories

How bad was it? And for how long did you suffer from it?
Was there one girl inparticular that you wanted to be with?

And what did you have to do exactly, what steps/therapies/meds were taken and for how long did you have to do these things to conquer your anxiety and fear to be with with women you were attracted to, liked, loved, etc?


Thanks so much!


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## Seth26 (Apr 5, 2009)

I had a crush on a girl at work for about a year. I would talk to her a bit, being careful not to display what I felt, but she probably knew anyway, given how nervous I was compared to when I talked to other people. Once I was finally living out of home and going to the gym regularly and knew she was single, she mentioned wanting to go to a show but had no-one to go with, so I volunteered. This was when no-one else was in the office to overhear, otherwise I wouldn't have done it. So we went and it was quite good, I managed to keep conversation going for the most part and she stayed over. I blabbed too much about liking her or something, not to mention being too nervous in the sack and that was the only time we went out. My anxiety still managed to win out in the end, but at least I got with an attractive girl for once. If you like this guy but he's a wimp or whatever, I implore you to make the first move. If he's got fullblown SA you will drop him eventually anyway I would wager, if you care about social status and having fun etc. You will eventually resent his inadequacies and find someone better, unless you are not the type who guys go for, for whatever reason.


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## AntiAnxiety (Jan 8, 2011)

I'm trying to do this now. Because of my anxiety, and a little bit of paranoia, I've never had a real girlfriend. I've had plenty of chances where I barely had to do anything to get one but paranoia and anxiety kept me from trying. I intend to turn things COMPLETELY around now. I started looking at a lot of pick-up-artist material and started reading books like The Game by Neil Strauss. It turns out that random girls have been sending me signals all along and I haven't even noticed! I suggest you read things like that because it's likely you'll start noticing things too.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

AntiAnxiety said:


> I'm trying to do this now. Because of my anxiety, and a little bit of paranoia, I've never had a real girlfriend. I've had plenty of chances where I barely had to do anything to get one but paranoia and anxiety kept me from trying. I intend to turn things COMPLETELY around now. I started looking at a lot of pick-up-artist material and started reading books like The Game by Neil Strauss. *It turns out that random girls have been sending me signals all along and I haven't even noticed! I suggest you read things like that because it's likely you'll start noticing things too*.


When one gets more confidence over SA, this is one of the first things guys notice.
Yeah, I was too overwhelmed in my anxiety to be aware that ladies were checking me out, even in the eyeglass store :lol.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

I am still trying to work on mine since it's so bad I can't even think of dating without feeling highly anxious. Guess for me what makes it a little easier is meeting and talking online for a bit until comfortable with them then meeting is far easier since you already have an idea of who they are and what they expect of you etc.

Doesn't take away the immense anxiety revolving around the awkwardness of sitting in the car and dropping her off and what to do next, god it's like my worst nightmare.

Single is easier *repeats in head* haha.


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## 390 (Jul 29, 2010)

My anxiety becomes 1000 times worse around women I'm attracted to. 13 year olds blush around girls they like - I've blushed, shaken and become totally non-functional around one particular girl I liked when I was 21! I'm ok around girls in general, my anxiety levels are the same as when I'm around guys. But if I become infatuated with someone that opens up another whole can of worms.

I don't know if anyone can relate to this story, my case is pretty extreme, but about 3 years ago I noticed a chick in one of my classes who looked cute and was sitting on her own. There was a team project coming up and I thought it would be kind of cool if I got to work with her - an excuse to talk to her and meet her but I figured my chances were slim given the sheer size of the class. Anyway, when it came time to form a team I sent out a number of emails to random students, one of which was a girl who didn't know anyone in the class. When we met I discovered that the girl was the one I'd been checking out in class a couple of weeks before. We hit it off in one of the meetings where none of the other group members showed up. We were having a good chat and laugh about some of our other classes and wasting time when we should have been working. At the end of the meeting I said bye, then she came following me out of the classroom wanting to talk some more.

Then my subconscious mind began to lust for her... Big mistake. The remainder of the meetings we had were kind of awkward, we'd hardly say a word to one another. Then I bumped into her in the final exam. She looked at me but I just walked right past her, went red as a beetroot and ignored her... The following semester she was in all of my classes. On the odd occasion that she'd sit near me I'd go bright red and start shaking, and she'd piss herself laughing and have a joke to her friends about it. The infatuation ended quickly but I never managed to get the blushing and anxiety under control, mostly because of the awkward past I've had with her and the fact that I don't want her to get any false ideas that I still want her. She still appears in some of my classes to date, and still occasionally stares at me to make me feel uncomfortable. Those classes still manage to scare the bejeezus out of me. I'll be glad when I never have to see her face again. God I hope I don't end up working in the same firm as her... :afr

This just goes to show how inexperienced and hopeless I am with women. Still haven't conquered my shyness around other women but I've learned a lot about myself from that bad experience. Now I find that my anxiety is stronger in anticipation of meeting that special someone moreso than when I'm talking face to face with her.


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## Seth26 (Apr 5, 2009)

Damn 390 that's like my goshdarn life story. Are you sure this chick was laughing at you though? Or did you just assume that? I doubt that she would stare at you to make you feel uncomfortable, that's not something people do too often. And milleniumman 75, how do you know if a girl is checking you out or sending you signals as it were?


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## 390 (Jul 29, 2010)

No, I'm pretty sure it was me. On one occasion I walked into the classroom, spotted a seat through my peripheral vision and went to grab it. As soon as I put down my bag and got ready to plant my butt on the seat I noticed she happened to be in the seat right next to it. Not wanting to look like a creep I quickly took the seat in the next row in front. Durng that class, the lecturer announced another team project and asked us all to form teams with the students sitting around us... I was like, **** that, just stared into space and went bright red. I tried to preoccupy myself by flipping through lecture notes but the pages started to noticeably rattle. She cracked up into a fit of laughter - her friend asked her what she was laughing at, she said in a sarcastic tone of voice, "Don't ask". Things like that had happened on a few other occasions too, where she'd laugh right on cue as my face turned red. So it was definitely me.

As for the staring, I caught her out on it once - this was last year so the anxiety and blushing had somewhat worn off by then. When I suspected that she was staring I pretended to read a poster behind her head, before quickly glancing down at her. Her eyes quickly averted and she never turned her head back towards me. I wouldn't say that she likes me or anything, she's not shy. I think there was another reason behind the staring.


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## cubanscorpio (Jun 30, 2010)

i have soooooooo many regrets becuase of love shyness and i fear i will continue to have more regrets in the future. im going thru the process right now of a future regret, even. sigh fml


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## ForeverStallone (Apr 4, 2011)

Seth26 said:


> I had a crush on a girl at work for about a year. I would talk to her a bit, being careful not to display what I felt, but she probably knew anyway, given how nervous I was compared to when I talked to other people. Once I was finally living out of home and going to the gym regularly and knew she was single, *she mentioned wanting to go to a show but had no-one to go with*, so I volunteered. This was when no-one else was in the office to overhear, otherwise I wouldn't have done it. So we went and it was quite good, I managed to keep conversation going for the most part and she stayed over. I blabbed too much about liking her or something, not to mention being too nervous in the sack and that was the only time we went out. My anxiety still managed to win out in the end, but at least I got with an attractive girl for once. If you like this guy but he's a wimp or whatever, I implore you to make the first move. If he's got fullblown SA you will drop him eventually anyway I would wager, if you care about social status and having fun etc. You will eventually resent his inadequacies and find someone better, unless you are not the type who guys go for, for whatever reason.


Haha, same situation with a girl I used to work with, except she wanted to see some movie. She said twice in the space of less than 2 minutes she had no one to go with while staring into my eyes, there was no one else around either. I said 'oh thats a **** movie, good luck finding someone to go with" LOL for some reason I though she would reject me so I thought better to play dumb than get rejected. She lost interest after that. This was a girl who I had a crush on at school 2-3 years earlier but never even spoke to.

To answer the OP, look at my signature.


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## stranger25 (Apr 29, 2010)

I freeze up.


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## InLoveWithaShyGuy (Dec 18, 2010)

GREAT REPLIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can i ask why does it matter if *she knows you want her *isn't that better if its obvious?

And does it feel better or worse *knowing a girl you are attracted to is also attracted to you* as well?????? I'd think better..or easier in someway!

If she feels the same way then maybe she can make the moves if you can't...the woman will need to know you want them (or at least are ''looking'' interested) for that to happen though!!!!

Lastly, what are signs *you* _*give off*_ (if any) that *YOU DO LIKE A WOMAN* say a woman you know..maybe from work, class, a friend, etc. would it be staring, following her around, driving by her home, etc?

Thanks so much


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## ripsta99 (Jun 19, 2011)

390 said:


> My anxiety becomes 1000 times worse around women I'm attracted to. 13 year olds blush around girls they like - I've blushed, shaken and become totally non-functional around one particular girl I liked when I was 21! I'm ok around girls in general, my anxiety levels are the same as when I'm around guys. But if I become infatuated with someone that opens up another whole can of worms.
> 
> I don't know if anyone can relate to this story, my case is pretty extreme, but about 3 years ago I noticed a chick in one of my classes who looked cute and was sitting on her own. There was a team project coming up and I thought it would be kind of cool if I got to work with her - an excuse to talk to her and meet her but I figured my chances were slim given the sheer size of the class. Anyway, when it came time to form a team I sent out a number of emails to random students, one of which was a girl who didn't know anyone in the class. When we met I discovered that the girl was the one I'd been checking out in class a couple of weeks before. We hit it off in one of the meetings where none of the other group members showed up. We were having a good chat and laugh about some of our other classes and wasting time when we should have been working. At the end of the meeting I said bye, then she came following me out of the classroom wanting to talk some more.
> 
> ...


dang man sounds just like the same incident that happen to me. infact i am pretty sure this is like 90% the same incident. all i can say is forget her. sorry man this is like a no win situation. u dug yourself too deep.


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## ripsta99 (Jun 19, 2011)

390 said:


> No, I'm pretty sure it was me. On one occasion I walked into the classroom, spotted a seat through my peripheral vision and went to grab it. As soon as I put down my bag and got ready to plant my butt on the seat I noticed she happened to be in the seat right next to it. Not wanting to look like a creep I quickly took the seat in the next row in front. Durng that class, the lecturer announced another team project and asked us all to form teams with the students sitting around us... I was like, **** that, just stared into space and went bright red. I tried to preoccupy myself by flipping through lecture notes but the pages started to noticeably rattle. She cracked up into a fit of laughter - her friend asked her what she was laughing at, she said in a sarcastic tone of voice, "Don't ask". Things like that had happened on a few other occasions too, where she'd laugh right on cue as my face turned red. So it was definitely me.
> 
> As for the staring, I caught her out on it once - this was last year so the anxiety and blushing had somewhat worn off by then. When I suspected that she was staring I pretended to read a poster behind her head, before quickly glancing down at her. Her eyes quickly averted and she never turned her head back towards me. I wouldn't say that she likes me or anything, she's not shy. I think there was another reason behind the staring.


dude are you me? same situation i been in bro. except i lost anxiety and wanted to talk to her so bad but never seen her and drew pictures/wrote a letter instead that got me in so much trouble i was about to be expelled. man screw girls like that because they are only shallow. i was also about 21.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I am just getting to the point where women actually find me attractive :afr.


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