# Has anyone sucessfully met new friends or a gf/bf post school?



## DeliveryDude (Apr 21, 2019)

Did you do it through a dating site or meetup group or was it through a random interaction via a hobby or something?


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## Sekiro (Dec 29, 2019)

DeliveryDude said:


> Did you do it through a dating site or meetup group or was it through a random interaction via a hobby or something?


 You have to do something sociable, even online forums.

I've met plenty of people that I first met online, for instance.


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## DeliveryDude (Apr 21, 2019)

Sekiro said:


> You have to do something sociable, even online forums.
> 
> I've met plenty of people that I first met online, for instance.


Through a message board? Have you ever tried a social anxiety Facebook page? I just joined one for the heck of it.


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## Sekiro (Dec 29, 2019)

DeliveryDude said:


> Through a message board? Have you ever tried a social anxiety Facebook page? I just joined one for the heck of it.


I never do much with facebook so I can't say about that one. But people on facebook are probably more sociable.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

meetup friends, gfs. no gf now. single almost 2 years!


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## JH1983 (Nov 14, 2013)

I met pretty well all of my current friends at the gym or through powerlifting meets and forums. Girlfriends through random chance and interactions over the years. Current one I knew as a kid and she works at my bank and we got to talking one day and here we are almost three years later.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Yeah met a friend working at a grocery store, met people online, through work, church, etc. You literally can find friends/relationships anywhere. Easy math......the more you're around people or being social online the better your odds.


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## hmnut (Aug 8, 2011)

All my friends I've met were either through school or work. I've never made friends through going to social events.


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## Krum (Dec 11, 2010)

Other than school, not really. A few from work and online communities, but I don't branch out as much as I probably should. I've stuck to the same tight-knit group for most of my adult life with the occasional extra friend here and there. I love the idea of making a few more important connections in life, but I get a lot of flak from newer friends for not having much social stamina, so it's easier to just fall back on the friends who already understand me.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Yeah, through this cool dating site called SAS.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

mezzoforte said:


> Yeah, through this cool dating site called SAS.


whens our date? :haha


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

I've made and kept one online friend in 20 years.

I've never made any friends IRL outside the school environment, and none of those "friends" were interested in keeping in touch outside school, so I've had no friends IRL for over 20 years now. Plus none of the other "friends" I made online wished to remain friends for long, either. I guess none of them were really friends.

My former psychologist suggested I try to make friends by chatting with random strangers in Walmart or, for the more intellectually inclined, the library...needless to say that's a very bad idea. She tried to get me in touch with two other clients of hers who shared interests with me; they originally agreed to get in contact with me but then both backed out. She didn't have any other ideas/suggestions before terminating my treatment.



> dating site


Hahahahahahahaha...that's hilarious.



> meetup group


Those don't exist in my city. An hour from here they have meetup groups for people who work from home, and kayakers...I'm neither.



> random interaction via a hobby or something


I tried hard to find friends via related interests online (since my interests are obscure and I have no opportunities to socialize IRL)...never, ever worked. Not even once. Those were the most painful socializing failures.

Former psychologist was right about one thing, I need to learn how to be content being alone. Not sure I'm able, though; I've had over two decades to get used to it and haven't yet.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

If you mean post all education than no. Americans seem to use school for post secondary education which confuses me. Would not consider them a success anyways romantically speaking.

I have consistently spoken to people online for years at a time though.


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

There was maybe 2 or 3 people I hung out with a few times from work I was doing at the time about 8-10 years ago that had potential to be friends if I had tried harder & not distanced myself or burned bridges.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

andy1984 said:


> whens our date? :haha


:lol


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## leaf in the wind (Mar 28, 2017)

I didn't have friends during school but it got better afterward. I'm a lot more comfortable with solitude in adulthood though, which was probably part of the reason... no one likes obvious loneliness and desperation wafting off of you (besides predators and equally desperate).


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## Aurel (Mar 5, 2020)

Yes, I met some people with SA, but we have contact more through the Internet than in real life.


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## cafune (Jan 11, 2011)

not really, i met my favourite ppl in school. in my experience, there's something about being forcibly shoved together consistently for long periods of time that creates genuine camaraderie. i've never made proper friends via contrived methods because i'm (usually) oddly content just doing my thing.


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## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

Yes, through work. 

Now the current virus situation is a spanner in the works of this. No more pubs or clubs and going out for any of us for months. 

And I've also some cool.online people too.


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## TryingMara (Mar 25, 2012)

Yes, at work.


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## thomasjune (Apr 7, 2012)

At work and through family members.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

No. The last time I had any friends was when I was in middle school.


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## Tymes Rhymes (May 28, 2014)

No.

I can't relate to people. I've come to realize this about myself. I don't know how to have casual conversations with people and do not perform well in conversations unless it is pertaining to a topic of interest to me and even then, I struggle.

Romantically speaking, even amongst shy or "nerdy" girls, there is almost an expectation for the guy to carry the conversation, not saying that is the case all of the time but it does seem generally true. But even with shy and more bashful women, I find that I can't carry on in a conversation with them and therefore nothing ever materializes.

I don't relate to people and haven't been able to for most of my life. I never developed social skills that are intrinsic to the foundation of relationships. As I grow older, I am less and less sad about this axiom and really just accept it. Whether that is the wrong mentality to have or not, I don't know.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

ravens said:


> No. The last time I had any friends was when I was in middle school.


i can never tell if you're sad or ok with being alone. does it bother you a lot?

not that i can tell if i'm sad or ok with being alone. there are pros and cons.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Hmmm. Just about everyone I knew in school was either a bully or a loud extrovert (or both :lol ). I hardly ever had any good friends in school and my parents kind of bounced me around from place to place so often that when I did have friendships that were forming they would get cut off (it wasn't nearly as easy to stay in touch in those days as it is now and we usually moved pretty far).

Most of the better friends I had were in my 20s but most of them were also more on the quiet side like me as well. But even so, some of them still ended up being too extroverted for my liking and I would usually eventually do the slowly distancing myself thing, hoping they'd get the idea that I still wanted to be friends but just didn't want to be together all the time.

I used to hang out with this one dude after work and we'd come to my place and drink beer and smoke weed and play video games. Which was fine. I really had nothing better to do. But it got to the point to where he would show up 30 minutes after work and wouldn't leave until late at night. It got awkward fast when I tired to cut back on the number of days because he knew I was here and I wasn't answering the phone. Just...... :bash:bash:bash

I would probably still get along with him now even though it's been 15 years. It's just hard to explain to someone that you need more space. Most people just can't process it for some reason. :lol


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## GermanHermit (Sep 6, 2008)

I met my best friend at work! One could get to know each other and each other's quirks during daily work. Seeing others succeed and fail with their work and with their interactions with others and being able to "check them out" over a longer period of time was pretty helpful!


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## irishkarl (Apr 20, 2020)

never had any luck with women....was on a date once when i was 18 but i was a shambles....couldnt talk to her at all.....

at 43 now i doubt id ever lose my virginity, but in a sense i dont care anymore


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## donistired (Nov 29, 2018)

I have not. I have a hard time being accepted by people and a hard time trusting anyone. I don't like playing social "games" to try and be liked by other people. I also find that, not talking much, tends to scare most people away. People don't know how to be friends with someone who has a hard time communicating and I don't really think I know how to either. I am exhausted by socializing and the anxiety I experience from doing it.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

andy1984 said:


> i can never tell if you're sad or ok with being alone. does it bother you a lot?
> 
> not that i can tell if i'm sad or ok with being alone. there are pros and cons.


It doesn't bother me a lot. I guess I've gotten used to it.


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## J Black (Apr 26, 2020)

Ever since my first relationship I've always scoured the free dating apps, mainly okcupid as you can send messages without them liking you first or subscribing, but the girls on there are trash. Not trashy. I like trashy but these girls reply like they don't give a **** half the time, like they aren't interested in anything, and it's hard to get someone who gives you a reply longer than 5 words. Its infuriating. And the ones that do reply, in my experience, turn out to be ****ty.
I dated a virgin who was a manager at a sex shop. A month and a half into it she tells me she has a bodily disorder where she can grow a beard and she thinks women with beards look beautiful.
Before that I dated another virgin, at least that one was willing to get intimate with me, but she said things "got too serious" when I was hospitalized with a serious infection.

I've learned to accept being alone by now. I don't get upset with the girls on online dating apps anymore as I'm learning to love myself and ill let the right one come find me while I'm busying myself with getting fit.

Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk


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## DeliveryDude (Apr 21, 2019)

I'm bad with women because I rarely meet outgoing ones that start conversations with me and I stink at eye contact so they probably assume I don't like them or find them boring because I won't hold eye contact. The only reason I have guy friends at work is because they are usually ultra talkative and I just chime in every now and then. I don't hang out with anyone from work though so it's not a true friendship. I'm just not very good at life. It's lonely going through everything with no one. Thats for sure.


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## Shawn81 (Jul 9, 2014)

No friends since high school. Started isolating bad when my anxiety got disabling.
One relationship that grew organically with a co-worker. She ended up being a horrible person and I'm not that interested in trying again and risking going through the dishonesty and deception again. Zero interest in online dating, or meeting people locally online with a romantic premise. I've never dated and it seems unbelievably awkward. If it happened again, it would have to grow organically again, but I no longer work with others and don't meet new people, so it's not looking good.


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## wmu'14 (Sep 17, 2010)

yes a few, not gf tho


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

Met a new friend via work, but she just moved away


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