# Seeing the World for What It Is



## cr17 (Jan 17, 2008)

I have gone from terribly shy to socially confident. At times in my life, I have been scared to leave my apartment, frightened to be seen by others on the way outside. Over last few weeks, I have become confident talking to strangers on the street with total confidence. The world is what it is, and you have to recognize that, and act accordingly.

Most people are unhappy, stressed, and overly-worried about what others think of them. They are brainwashed by television, and stressed by their jobs. If you are happy and confident, you have social power. People will want to be with you. 

All you need to do is achieve happiness and social confidence. It is really very simple. You can try to fake it, but faking doesn't work as well as being genuine, and it is less pleasant. You may think this is difficult to achieve, but it is actually really easy. For a long time, I just didn't want to be happy. Just about two weeks ago, I decided to try out being happy, and my life is starting to change. 

You may still be wondering how to become happy. I have a method, and it is really easy. In some forms, it has been written about elsewhere, and it is quite simple. I don't know if can effectively use it as I only have myself as an example of its use. Although, it seems very powerful, and it produces genuine happiness unlike hypnosis and that sort of thing.


----------



## n1kkuh (Jul 11, 2008)

Two weeks you say? I've had me 2 week bursts and then i'll allow myself to get into a negative rut. But what your saying definately makes sense to me. And I think there really has to be an easy non-complicated way to overcome our social anxiety. I mean it wasnt that hard to get us to have social anxiety, so why should it be hard for us to unlearn SAD and learn confidence instead. I think the main problem that I have been having with my SAD is that I fight it. I try so hard and i think there is some complicated mind technique to overcome my SAD. When really its not that hard you just gotta allow yourself to feel good about what you are doing to get what you want. I've read so much self-help bull**** that it actually has intensified my SAS by making me more self-conscious of what I am doing and just seriously complicating things. I guess we just need to focus on making ourselves feel good. Sorry if I went off topic but I just wanted to share that.


----------



## cr17 (Jan 17, 2008)

Here is what I did. The idea is to develop a positive connection with the symbols you see in the world. Whenever you see anything it has symbolic importance. If you want you could say everything has a spiritual essence, or just a psychological quality.

What I started doing is looking for the positive joy, and spiritual greatness of things. Look for it in every person, every building, every house, every car, and every other symbol you encounter throughout the day. The success of this may be dependent on where you live, and what symbols you encounter within your life. 

In practice, I look at a building, and wonder what excitement was encountered when the building was first created. Look at people, and wonder what was the happiest moment of their lives. Look at cars, and think of the expression of the person when they first bought it. When you see the sun, think of how the light impacts upon you. 

Once you are able to see the greatness, joy, and wonder of the symbols you encounter on daily basis, these ideas will reinforce everytime you see these things. You need to focus and find ways for the symbols and things you see in your life, reinforce positive emotions. 

If you can't find any happiness or joy in the symbols of your life, try thinking harder. What symbols are you paying attention to? If they are reinforcing ideas and behaviors you want to avoid, you must reframe the symbols, or change the symbols of your life.


----------



## n1kkuh (Jul 11, 2008)

so how does this relate to your social situations? how would you describe those positive feelings that you get?


----------



## sonic cat (Sep 12, 2007)

I too have always had a feeling that I'm working too hard at overcoming my SA when it really doesn't seem like it should be that difficult. My anxiety has gotten much better as of late (still not great, but better). What has helped me is giving the proper attention to each moment as it happens which ties in with cr17's advice. I started off by wearing a rubber band around my wrist and every time my mind would start overanalyzing something in the past, present, or future, I'd snap it. This brought me back into the moment where I could examine those thoughts and determine whether they were rational or irrational, productive or counter-productive. And guess what? 99% of the time they turned out to be irrational thoughts with no foundation. The more I applied this practice, the more natural became and now I don't even realize I'm doing it. 

Thank you for your post, cr17. I really like your idea of looking for the positives in everything. We spend so much time crawling around in our own minds that sometimes we need to get out and focus on the rest of the world.

B

p.s.-Hope I didn't hijack your thread! Just thought I'd add my $0.02.


----------



## FunBoy (Apr 17, 2008)

hypnosis works,btw


----------



## SADFighter (May 4, 2007)

Sounds like attentional training, I think it's called. Basically you're grounded in the present instead of the past or future, which is what anxiety is--obsessing over what you just said, or what you will say, the speech you just gave or the speech you'll give tomorrow. If you're in the present, anxiety can't really manifest. I've had some success with it but I haven't stuck with it. Maybe I should.


----------



## cr17 (Jan 17, 2008)

n1kkuh said:


> so how does this relate to your social situations? how would you describe those positive feelings that you get?


It is just recognizing you can be happy whenever you want to be. You do this by thinking about all the joy around you. Nearly everyone is unhappy and insecure. When you feel happy and secure in yourself, you can easily recognize this. You no longer need be concerned with negative opinions of you. Emotionally, you can give more to others than they can give to you. Socially, this puts you in a powerful position. You are emotionally freed.

The feelings are sort of like the first time I saw a waterfall, or the genuine joy of a sincere prayer about some simple thing. Poetically,

Like the faint sound of a rain drop,
Or laying on the grass on a warm pleasant day,
The world is as it should as it shall be,
Life creates. Life destroys.
An ambient sense runs through it all,
Seen clearly in the most joyous moments,
Yet to be found within all,
Such sense awaits for all who dare,
True happiness, unguarded, unhidden,
Although the old rusty door must still be opened,
Many fight hard to avoid its magnetic pull,
All conceptions are piled between you and it,
So simple; So true; Buried in plain sight,
Abandoned for fool's gold over and hence,
Return to the true ways and you shall find it,
True, hidden beneath, but intact.


----------



## Emptiness (Jul 25, 2008)

I totally agree with you, but how can you be genuinely happy consistently (and at most times about nothing), I can be happy but its its only a fleeting emotion I cant be happy all the time and easily slip back into my depressive self.


----------



## stardog99 (Mar 22, 2008)

Emptiness said:


> I totally agree with you, but how can you be genuinely happy consistently (and at most times about nothing), I can be happy but its its only a fleeting emotion I cant be happy all the time and easily slip back into my depressive self.


I don't think it's possible to be happy all of the time though, unless all of your needs are met...awareness is not the same as happiness, but I think it allows you to see how things really are, then happiness is much easier to obtain.


----------



## bibby0510 (Sep 20, 2008)

It is great to see so many people come together to support one another in a common goal to become better people. I've had SA for as long as I can remember. It is an awful disease (YES I SAID DISEASE!) to have because it is very difficult to overcome, but others that surround you can't fully understand the impact that it has in your life. It takes the same amount of time to learn a habit that it does to unlearn a habit. So to overcome this negative thoughts takes many years of constant, active self-improvement. This may include professional help or even medication. We care a lot about what people think about us that prevents us from actually enjoying the many joys in life. But remember one thing, if you never give up, then you'll never fail. It is a constant battle filled with ups and downs. Even if i'm never cured, i can relish in the satisfaction that at least i' have improved from yesterday.


----------

