# Are boyfriends entitled to sex?



## meli (Jan 26, 2006)

Its been my experience with guys, that they feel they are entitled to sex, in someway, when in a relationship. Which is cool to wanna get sex from ya g/f. But why do you think you are entitled to it?? and why isn't it possible to be in a relationship and not have sex (until you are ready, that is)??

I am a college student and I met this guy, who was one of the sweetest and nicest guy i ever met. Anyway, we started having sex but it was hard opening up myself to him. Well anyway i did, and ended up getting pregnant and having it terminated. which ruined me b/c i neva saw myself getting into a situation like that, and I still feel guilt and anger over it. I hate the man that put me inna situation like. Not saying that it's all his fault but if I had just remained my stubborn self then maybe it would not have happened, but i was trying to be a good girlfriend. Now I feel stupid for letting him influence me, and plus he was alot older than me and he purposely didn't use protection

Anyway, since then, I've been very stubborn about having sex when I don't want to, especially if my boyfriend feels that he's entitled to it. This one guy jokes and says I "live on a one way street" and that "the world is a two way street and that I need to give sometimes". I mean, I understand in life you should give alittle and i'm one of the nicest person around, but i don't feel i should have to compromise by giving sex if I don't want to have sex!

My gynecologist told me that in the world we live in today, women need to be selfish with their vaginas lol...what do yall think??

Is there some unwritten rule (that I don't know about) that says "That to be good to your man, you have to have sex with him"....and i'm not talking about a marriage type situation, thats a different story.

Do any of you have sex with your boyfriend because you feel you have to? and Do *All* girlfriend's have sex with their boyfriends? cause maybe i'm just being naive to the way things are


----------



## jerzeyb (Nov 19, 2005)

i think all relationships must be equal amounts of give and take, but with that said...i also believe that a person's partner should NEVER 'force'(not the right word, but it's the one that comes to mind) them to do something they are uncomfortable with. too many people have made sex to be such an easy everyday thing-forgetting the beauty and wonderment behind it. sex is a big deal, and should be SHARED only by two WILLING participants. a guy may say you need to be more giving in "life's two way street", but maybe he needs to be more "giving" to what your needs are in this department. having sex with someone who is not quite into it at the moment is nothing more than masterbation. having sex just because someone expects it from you takes away EVERYTHING i think is beautiful about it. 

oh and btw, i am a guy who is not even close to getting 'it' nearly enough(or at all lately), but i would NEVER want it in such a cheap way as, making a girlfriend feel guilty that she is not putting out. stand your ground and stay true to what you want regarding this issue. having sex just to please him, will maybe(probably)make you resent him for it down the road.


----------



## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

I have a 14 and nearly 12 yr old daughter, so this issue is real local for me. I don't think anyone "owes" another person sex. 

The next thing I'll say is fraught with the possibility of misunderstanding, but anyway. I think emotional blackmail is always wrong, and so a guy floating ideas like "you say you love me but then why won't you have sex with me" or "if you really loved me, you'd have sex with me" to try to get sex is not cool. 

That said, I don't see a problem with a man or woman who openly states that they want sex to be part of a relationship. Its also OK for a person who is open about what they want and need to leave a relationship that doesn't provide what they want and need. 

If one person in a pair is ready for sex and the other one isn't, I think its a bad pairing, but I don't think either party is to blame.


----------



## BMSMA1A2B3 (Apr 7, 2006)

Boyfriends want sex from their girlfriends... and?


----------



## anonymid (Oct 16, 2005)

I agree with jerzeyb and Atticus.


----------



## ktglitzygirl (Apr 18, 2006)

NO WAY do you owe anyone sex, no matter who they are or whatever circumstance it is.

no one is entitled to sex from you.

i agree with Atticus..


> I don't see a problem with a man or woman who openly states that they want sex to be part of a relationship. Its also OK for a person who is open about what they want and need to leave a relationship that doesn't provide what they want and need.
> 
> If one person in a pair is ready for sex and the other one isn't, I think its a bad pairing, but I don't think either party is to blame.


and..


> you're the one that got involved with the "older" guy, you knew he wasn't using protection, you spread your legs.


maybe he pressured you, but he was not in control of you. you are totally in control of yourself and you are the only one responsible for your actions.



> I still feel guilt and anger over it





> I feel stupid for letting him influence me





> since then, I've been very stubborn about having sex when I don't want to





> i don't feel i should have to compromise by giving sex if I don't want to have sex!


^^^ this is all good. you made a mistake, you reacted fittingly with negative emotions, and now you are taking better care of yourself and your needs.
some time you will fall in love and be ready to have sex again. until then, keep taking care of yourself! you are the most important person in your life!
i think if you start to get involved with another man and it is a good, healthy relationship, you should be able to communicate to him if you are ready for sex or not.


----------



## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

Atticus said:


> The next thing I'll say is fraught with the possibility of misunderstanding, but anyway. I think emotional blackmail is always wrong, and so a guy floating ideas like "you say you love me but then why won't you have sex with me" or "if you really loved me, you'd have sex with me" to try to get sex is not cool.


He is hoping guilt will change your mind. That's a manipulation tactic.


----------



## workman (Mar 5, 2004)

I don't think anybody is entitled to it, but it probably brings you closer together and makes the relationship better.

My gf is a virgin(and so am I), and she doesn't want to have sex till she knows she is in love. She is willing to do other things. I'm fine with that. Maybe you should start slower.


----------



## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Statements below are from modern american culture

1. Guys have a high sex drive.
2. If you don't have sex with me is it because you don't like sex, don't find me sexually appealing? 
3. If either questions in #2 are true then the relationship isn't worth the time.
4. If you do have a sex drive but are waiting until marriage some guys will respect this. 


As for guys being entitled to it, that's a very self-centered view. This statement reflects his attitude of getting personal gratification over any expression of satisfying and making the girl happy. He cares about his own needs and not his partner.


----------



## GraceLikeRain (Nov 9, 2003)

ktglitzygirl said:


> NO WAY do you owe anyone sex, no matter who they are or whatever circumstance it is.
> 
> no one is entitled to sex from you.


 :agree


----------



## SupportiveGF (Apr 25, 2006)

Your body, your rules....if they dont like it, there are plenty of easy girls around. Wait for one who will respect your decision and think you are worth the effort anyways.

You made a mistake, and you are paying for it....you don't have to go back down that path again


----------



## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

Entitled? No. Expecting? Yes.


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

meli said:


> My gynecologist told me that in the world we live in today, women need to be selfish with their vaginas lol...what do yall think??
> 
> Is there some unwritten rule (that I don't know about) that says "That to be good to your man, you have to have sex with him"....and i'm not talking about a marriage type situation, thats a different story.


Responsible would be a better word to use there.

Haven't heard of that rule myself... not sure if I would agree with that it. I would think being loyal, trusting and supportive would be the better way to be good to your man. If you don't want to have sex, then don't. It's not as complicated as it seems.
Sex is perfectly fine in a relationship as long as the two understand each other and are mature enough to handle it. Keep in mind that sex makes babies. If you don't want to risk it, use protection then. Demand it if you must.
I feel bad you had learn this the hard way.

You shouldn't have to feel entitled to give sex. There's more to relationships than that.


----------



## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

Its something that should be agreed upon before entering into the relationship, so that each person knows what the other is expecting.

I for one want physical intimicacy and sex in any relationship I'm in. I have no interest in dating someone who's "waiting". I'm not demanding it, its just a pre-requisite, and such things should be discussed ahead of time so there's no surprises.


----------



## BMSMA1A2B3 (Apr 7, 2006)

ColdFury said:


> Its something that should be agreed upon before entering into the relationship, so that each person knows what the other is expecting.


"Look, <chic's name>, you're a wonderful person and I'm interested in being with you... but, first, we've got to make it clear: I want 24/7 access to the kitty."

:haha


----------



## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

GermanHermit said:


> > Are boyfriends entitled to sex?
> 
> 
> No!
> Neither are husbands!


I agree with you in that boyfriends are not entitled to sex. However, I totally disagree when you say, "Neither are husbands".

Sex is part of a marraige, and unless the man & woman decide before the marriage not to have sex, then it would be wrong for the wife not to have sex with her husband. And it would be 100% equally wrong for the husband not to have sex with the wife (assuming she wants sex). Of course I don't mean to say that the woman (or man) should give in any and every time their partner wants sex. If one person is not in the mood, then they should not do it. But over the course of a marraige the man (or woman) definitely is entitled to sex.

Lifetimer


----------



## ktglitzygirl (Apr 18, 2006)

BMSMA1A2B3 said:


> "Look, <chic's name>, you're a wonderful person and I'm interested in being with you... but, first, we've got to make it clear: I want 24/7 access to the kitty."
> 
> :haha


 :lol

what if the girl wanted 24/7 access to your.. umm.. well.. YOU?


----------



## ktglitzygirl (Apr 18, 2006)

> over the course of a marraige the man (or woman) definitely is entitled to sex.


i disagree. sure sex is usually a part of a normal healthy marriage but the partner is not -entitled- 
it is something both parties involved should want to do. not something they feel obligated to do. it is not a duty. if they feel obligated or pressured to give their S.O. sex, i think there is something wrong there.


----------



## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

^ Well, i actually agree with that, you can't force people to do things they don't want to do, but as i see it, if the wife doesn't want to have sex the husband is then entitled to look for it _elsewhere_.


----------



## GTI79 (Feb 2, 2004)

ktglitzygirl said:


> what if the girl wanted 24/7 access to your.. umm.. well.. YOU?


The world would colapse upon itself.


----------



## archaic (Jan 16, 2006)

Lyric Suite said:


> ^ Well, i actually agree with that, you can't force people to do things they don't want to do, but as i see it, if the wife doesn't want to have sex the husband is then entitled to look for it _elsewhere_.


I completely disagree. The husband is welcome to look in other places, but he can be sure I won't be there when he comes back! Instead of cheating on the wife, he could open up dialogue about their sex life and get everyone's needs out on the table. Sleeping around just cheapens their marriage and whatever bonds they may have had. He is entitled to a life partner with whom he should be able to discuss his sexual needs freely.


----------



## On the way (Feb 9, 2006)

I don't think anyone is "entitled" to anything from another person. Everything should be freely given, based on mutual benefit. Sure there are times when you might have sex when you don't feel like it, but it shouldn't be a constant pattern of self-sacrifice. And yes, a wife "should" have sex with her husband and vice versa, but neither is "entitled" to sex with the other, and the lack of it means not that the husband is "entitled" to have sex with someone else, but just that there's a problem in the marriage. 

Anyhow, I don't like the word "entitled." I find it hard to imagine situations where anyone is truly "entitled" to anything from another person, without a mutual agreement between the people, based on reciprocal exchange/benefit.


----------



## AdamCanada (Dec 6, 2003)

archaic said:


> Lyric Suite said:
> 
> 
> > ^ Well, i actually agree with that, you can't force people to do things they don't want to do, but as i see it, if the wife doesn't want to have sex the husband is then entitled to look for it _elsewhere_.
> ...


but your sayin that like the husband hasn't done that yet, what if he has already has?


----------



## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

archaic said:


> I completely disagree. The husband is welcome to look in other places, but he can be sure I won't be there when he comes back!


My point, exactly...


----------



## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

A truly _good_ guy would never pressure you into sex like that. If you don't want to, you don't want to. There is no rule that says you _have_ to have sex with the person you're dating. Just because he's horny doesn't make it the right time for you. Maybe _he_ should learn that it's a "two-way street" and that he needs to give you more time and stop trying to pressure you. It's not something you owe him.. like his "paycheck" for dating you; it's a gift that you both are supposed to share when the moment is right for _both of you_.


----------



## On the way (Feb 9, 2006)

Right. Love disappears the moment obligation enters the picture.


----------



## meli (Jan 26, 2006)

Thanks everyone for the advice. i just wanted to make sure I wasn't being naive by thinking they aren't entiltled to sex.

Someone mentioned that its not as complicated as it seems and that if I don't want to have sex just don't. But its not that simple when you are inna relationhip, it can make or break it. Just think how many guys are willing to be with a girl and not have sex?? Not much. I want a boyfriend but not necessarily a sexual relationship (i want things to go very slow in that area) But most guys don't wanna hear that. So I guess I'll just have to be lonely until I'm ready then :stu


----------



## sonya99 (Sep 5, 2005)

LittleZion said:


> I don't think anyone is "entitled" to anything from another person. Everything should be freely given, based on mutual benefit. Sure there are times when you might have sex when you don't feel like it, but it shouldn't be a constant pattern of self-sacrifice. And yes, a wife "should" have sex with her husband and vice versa, but neither is "entitled" to sex with the other, and the lack of it means not that the husband is "entitled" to have sex with someone else, but just that there's a problem in the marriage.


 :agree


----------



## BMSMA1A2B3 (Apr 7, 2006)

I can only speak for myself, m'kay? Good. This post may come off as offensive to some, and if it does... well... I'm sorry. It's how I truly feel and how the world works for most people.

*Stop reading now if you're easily offended.*

Here's the deal: I'm 24/m and far, far from being a virgin. (Not bragging, just trying to put my history and expectation level in a non-vulgar way.)

If I'm with a chic and she's *not* a virgin, I'm expecting sex within a month or two. Expecting oral after the first couple/few dates. If I don't get any action within two months, I'm going to end the relationship. There's obviously something wrong - with _me_, with _her_, with _us_, with *something*.

Ain't no chic playing the Born Again Virgin bull**** with me. If you've been popped already, expect to spread 'em for me if we're in a relationship.

If I'm with a chic and she is a virgin, it's entirely different. Hell! I wouldn't even know what I would do if I dated a virgin nowadays. It's been *counts* like 6 years since I dated a virgin.

I'm sick and tired of hearing about how boyfriends "pressure" girls into sex. Yeah, we want sex -- WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?!

We're BOYfriends, not GIRLfriends. If you want to spend time with someone without having sex enter the picture, spend time with your GIRLfriends. Or a gay guyfriend!

Do you women realize how much time and money we spend on y'all? Seriously? More than y'all will ever realize. Excuse us for expecting a nut every now and then.

:cig

*slips on a flame retardant jumpsuit and hides in his bunker.*


----------



## meli (Jan 26, 2006)

> If I'm with a chic and she's *not* a virgin, I'm expecting sex within a month or two. Expecting oral after the first couple/few dates. If I don't get any action within two months, I'm going to end the relationship. There's obviously something wrong - with _me_, with _her_, with _us_, with *something*.


No there's definitely something wrong with YOU!



> I'm sick and tired of hearing about how boyfriends "pressure" girls into sex. Yeah, we want sex -- WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?!


Yeah we expect that you would want sex, but our point is you're not entitled to it



> Do you women realize how much time and money we spend on y'all? Seriously? More than y'all will ever realize. Excuse us for expecting a nut every now and then.


It was your choice to do so, but you're still not entitled to anything!


----------



## BMSMA1A2B3 (Apr 7, 2006)

meli said:


> > If I'm with a chic and she's *not* a virgin, I'm expecting sex within a month or two. Expecting oral after the first couple/few dates. If I don't get any action within two months, I'm going to end the relationship. There's obviously something wrong - with _me_, with _her_, with _us_, with *something*.
> 
> 
> No there's definitely something wrong with YOU!


After two months? Come on, woman! I'm not a priest! I've got *needs*. There's only so long a man can date Palmala... sooner or later, he needs the real thing.



meli said:


> > I'm sick and tired of hearing about how boyfriends "pressure" girls into sex. Yeah, we want sex -- WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?!
> 
> 
> Yeah we expect that you would want sex, but our point is you're not entitled to it


I agree. 100%. We're not entitled to it, but it's expected.

If I'm paying for date after date after date, I'm expecting some action.



meli said:


> > Do you women realize how much time and money we spend on y'all? Seriously? More than y'all will ever realize. Excuse us for expecting a nut every now and then.
> 
> 
> It was your choice to do so, but you're still not entitled to anything!


Again: Not entitled, but expecting it. 

...Come on. Two months? Y'all women would be laughing your asses off with your girlfriends if you got a guy to date you all that time and you haven't given him anything.


----------



## meli (Jan 26, 2006)

Palmala :lol


----------



## BMSMA1A2B3 (Apr 7, 2006)

meli said:


> Palmala :lol


Just cause she has a name doesn't mean... nevermind. :b


----------



## ktglitzygirl (Apr 18, 2006)

:lol i love how honest you are. i laugh because its just so frank. actually it is wonderful. 


BMSMA1A2B3 said:


> If I'm with a chic and she's *not* a virgin, I'm expecting sex within a month or two. Expecting oral after the first couple/few dates. If I don't get any action within two months, I'm going to end the relationship. There's obviously something wrong - with _me_, with _her_, with _us_, with *something*.


so if theres something "wrong" with her...suppose she has been raped in the past and has trouble being sexual so soon after meeting you.. even if she is a great girl, you wouldnt give her a chance? 
no one is perfect, and no relationship is perfect. IMHO, ending the relationship would just be a form of running from your problems. or, not really _your_ problems- you could leave and never have to think about it again. but i mean, not making an effort to work through something. 
what if its something totally unrelated to sex...what if you meet a girl, and like her and begin to date her..but she is not ready to talk on the phone with you right away? would that be enough of a "wrong" to cause you to end the relationship?

& have you ever told the above quote to a girl? outlined your expectations before she falls for you? just wondering


----------



## BMSMA1A2B3 (Apr 7, 2006)

ktglitzygirl said:


> so if theres something "wrong" with her...suppose she has been raped in the past and has trouble being sexual so soon after meeting you..


If she's been raped or molested, that's entirely different. Like being a virgin. It just completely changes things.

I've known a couple girls that have been raped. I understand, as much as a guy can - which isn't much, what being raped can do to a girl.



ktglitzygirl said:


> even if she is a great girl, you wouldnt give her a chance?


If she's great and I'm doing everything right... and she's not a victim or a virgin... why wouldn't she want to do anything?



ktglitzygirl said:


> no one is perfect, and no relationship is perfect. IMHO, ending the relationship would just be a form of running from your problems.


What problems? I'm expecting X in return for Y. If I'm not getting the return on my investment that I'm expecting, I'll invest my limited resources - time, emotional commitment, money - somewhere else.

I'd end the relationship if she treated me like crap - but was great in bed, too.



ktglitzygirl said:


> or, not really _your_ problems- you could leave and never have to think about it again. but i mean, not making an effort to work through something.


We're talking about a boyfriend/girlfriend sort of relationship, right? If there are some serious problems in the b/g stage, there will only be worse problems if/when we get married.



ktglitzygirl said:


> what if its something totally unrelated to sex...what if you meet a girl, and like her and begin to date her..but she is not ready to talk on the phone with you right away?


Right away? If we're dating, I'd have to assume she has a certain comfort level with me.



ktglitzygirl said:


> would that be enough of a "wrong" to cause you to end the relationship?


Hard to say, but it would make it hard to date a girl.



ktglitzygirl said:


> & have you ever told the above quote to a girl? outlined your expectations before she falls for you? just wondering


Nope. Never had to. I've only had a couple girlfriends go cold on me, so it's never really been an issue.


----------



## RMJS (Jun 9, 2005)

Nope. I don't think being in a relationship entitles the guy to sex whether she be a virgin, victim or anything else.


----------



## GTI79 (Feb 2, 2004)

IBTL


----------



## omgnoudidnt (Jan 8, 2005)

hiss!!!


----------



## RMJS (Jun 9, 2005)

I must say, I'm impressed in that this thread is still alive.


----------



## BMSMA1A2B3 (Apr 7, 2006)

RMJS said:


> I must say, I'm impressed in that this thread is still alive.


Me too!


----------



## Melatonin (Feb 8, 2005)

BMSMA1A2B3, do you listen to Tom Leykis?


----------



## BMSMA1A2B3 (Apr 7, 2006)

Melatonin said:


> BMSMA1A2B3, do you listen to Tom Leykis?


You mean Comb Over Boy? Nah.


----------



## Your Lover Scrub Ducky (Jul 26, 2004)

I hate how everyone acts like guys are the only ones who want sex and they have to beg for the girl to give it to them. as if the girls don't want it and just have sex to please the guy.

im not saying waiting is bad, its not. you shouldnt feel pressured to have sex and you will know for yourself when and _if_ you want to have sex.

but it gets to me when girls think they have all kinds of power cause of sex and if you want the "prize" you have to work for it and if you work hard enough, and IF she feels like it, she'll give it to you.
i'd rather go fug myself.

i actually think waiting for awhile is a good idea because it would make sex mean alot more, something my GIRLFRIENDS (not me, the females, the ones without the penis) haven't done in the past. not that i minded that much but i thought id point out that women also jump to sex right away thinking they can get sex whenever they want while in a relationship.


----------



## omgnoudidnt (Jan 8, 2005)

I do have to say, that women sometimes hold it over guys heads... like, if he makes me mad we're not having sex, or, if he doesn't do his "chores" we aren't having sex. Like it's a punishment. 

I think it would be the other way around with me... I'd be the one wanting it more than him. :cig :lol


----------



## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

maggiemae84 said:


> I do have to say, that women sometimes hold it over guys heads... like, if he makes me mad we're not having sex, or, if he doesn't do his "chores" we aren't having sex. Like it's a punishment.
> 
> I think it would be the other way around with me... I'd be the one wanting it more than him. :cig :lol


Personally, I think withholding sex as "punishment" is very wrong.


----------



## meli (Jan 26, 2006)

Scrub Ducky said:


> but it gets to me when girls think they have all kinds of power cause of sex and if you want the "prize" you have to work for it and if you work hard enough, and IF she feels like it, she'll give it to you.
> i'd rather go fug myself.


I agree, that's wrong. 
But in most situations, guys have a part to play in it too....they gotta show more self control.
A lot of men do things they normally wouldn't do just to have sex with a girl, then these girls realize the power they have and take advantage of it. 
P#$$% power is as much those guys fault as it is hers. If the need wasn't there, then she wouldn't have that power
Plus, someone said earlier that they spend money on a girl with the expectation of getting sex in return and if it doesn't a happen they're out the door. Well its situations like these that makes some girls think they have the power to control sex in a relationship.


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

BMSMA1A2B3 said:


> What problems? I'm expecting X in return for Y. If I'm not getting the return on my investment that I'm expecting, I'll invest my limited resources - time, emotional commitment, money - somewhere else.


blechh... "investment"...
hey! women are as simple as opening a bank account! :banana uke


----------



## mismac (Oct 27, 2005)

BMSMA1A2B3 said:


> If I'm with a chic and she's *not* a virgin, I'm expecting sex within a month or two. Expecting oral after the first couple/few dates.


Wow...way to treat women like they're human beings and not just sexual objects! [/sarcasm]

Sick.


----------



## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

stellar said:


> Wow...way to treat women like they're human beings and not just sexual objects! [/sarcasm]
> 
> Sick.


Women ARE sexual objects. Among other things of course, but let's not kid ourselves, shall we?


----------



## zelig (Apr 15, 2005)

BMSMA1A2B3 said:


> If I'm paying for date after date after date, I'm expecting some action.


So, if the woman pay for all the dates, then you're no longer entitled to sex? Why not just take out all those time wasting things like "emotional investment" and dates and just pay her cash upfront for sex?


----------



## Nyx (Nov 17, 2003)

^That's disgusting. I would need an emotional connection before I would sleep with someone. I'm not going to have any kind of sex with a guy just because he paid for a few dates and feels he's entitled. If that's the way it works I'll pay my own way so as not to end up feeling like a two-bit hooker.


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

This is why civilized man created for himself a plastic, inflatable counterpart; For not only must he struggle through the complexities of finding himself a mate, he must endure the complexity.. of his mate. 

Seems aught but a cultural convention.~ Emerson is right: “Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members." Whatever happened to free love? Make love, not war? Drop acid, not bombs? How soon will it be til we end up in the orgasmatron? I'm half-serious. =ll ; - ;


----------



## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

Nyx said:


> ^That's disgusting. I would need an emotional connection before I would sleep with someone. I'm not going to have any kind of sex with a guy just because he paid for a few dates and feels he's entitled. If that's the way it works I'll pay my own way so as not to end up feeling like a two-bit hooker.


Wait, you mean you don't usually pay for yourself? Why not?


----------



## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

zelig said:


> Why not just take out all those time wasting things like "emotional investment" and dates and just pay her cash upfront for sex?


It's better to buy a new car then rent an old one...


----------



## BMSMA1A2B3 (Apr 7, 2006)

:cig

This thread still going, huh? Jesus.

*eats his breakfast and laughs*


----------



## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

Ah, sometimes it's great being asexual - girls have no power over me. Maybe they recognize that and dislike me for it....


----------



## Your Lover Scrub Ducky (Jul 26, 2004)

meli said:


> Scrub Ducky said:
> 
> 
> > but it gets to me when girls think they have all kinds of power cause of sex and if you want the "prize" you have to work for it and if you work hard enough, and IF she feels like it, she'll give it to you.
> ...


Yeah that's true. My guess would be that guy's are usually the one's at fault concerning that area in a relationship, but I just wanted to point out a few things cause it seemed like everyone was talking down on males.

now it seems like everyones talking down on females. hmm.

*male side attacks*
*female side attacks*
*attack*
*attack*
*lone male survivor is scrub ducky who is allowed to live to repopulate the earth* yippee!!


----------



## BMSMA1A2B3 (Apr 7, 2006)

Scrub Ducky said:


> now it seems like everyones talking down on females. hmm.


I *really* hope I haven't left the impression I'm attacking women/any woman.

Normal healthy guys want to, er, do stuff with their girlfriends. I'm not going to apologize for being a normal, healthy guy.

If some guy says "spread 'em _or_ I'm going to leave you", leave the jerk.

Okay, ladies? Does that sound better? I love all of you! :kiss


----------



## slurpazillia (Nov 18, 2005)

:banana


----------



## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

Reading this thread makes me feel almost ashamed to be male. I would be the happiest guy in the world if I could just hold a woman for a night. Being deprived of the simplest kinds of affection and intimacy my whole life has probably changed my views about sex because I don't really place much importance on it anymore. Nevertheless I don't think a woman should feel obliged to have sex and use it as a reward. If you are in a relationship it should be done out of love and respect for your partner, not because you feel required to.


----------



## BMSMA1A2B3 (Apr 7, 2006)

Man. Yeah, that is sweet. Last time I was lucky enough to do that was about a couple months ago. It's hard for me to trust people enough to actually sleep with them. She's a great girl, but has serious problems - so the relationship was doomed. I can still remember kissing her neck, smelling her hair, and whispering in her ear - until I fell asleep - "I love you, I love you, I'm the luckiest guy in the world."


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Heck, I'd go for a cheap card that had a message like that.

No, I don't think sex is a right; it's a privilege.
I am also at the point where sex isn't exaclty number one. I have always tols myself taht I would wait until marriage. Even then, I wouldn't make it a requirement. It just sounds like a stupid quota or something. We have enough of those in everyday life. :stu


----------



## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

hellonlegs said:


> I dont want to have sex with someone whos just doing it out of obligation.


From what i understand ALL women do it out of obligation, at least after marriage.

Before marriage they do it to get the guy to marry them in the first place.

BTW, you guys know i'm just screwing around, right? :b


----------



## Nyx (Nov 17, 2003)

Lyric Suite said:


> Nyx said:
> 
> 
> > ^That's disgusting. I would need an emotional connection before I would sleep with someone. I'm not going to have any kind of sex with a guy just because he paid for a few dates and feels he's entitled. If that's the way it works I'll pay my own way so as not to end up feeling like a two-bit hooker.
> ...


I don't pay for myself because I've never gone on a date.


----------



## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

meli said:


> Its been my experience with guys, that they feel they are entitled to sex, in someway, when in a relationship.


I think people should be direct about what they are looking for and want. All this game playing is nonsensical. If somebody wants sex they should say so. If they don't want sex they should say so. Then everyone can seek out others who match up with what they want.


----------



## ott (Aug 2, 2005)

UltraShy said:


> meli said:
> 
> 
> > Its been my experience with guys, that they feel they are entitled to sex, in someway, when in a relationship.
> ...


Heh, reminds me of one of the annual parties arranged at my university. You go wearing either a green, yellow or red shirt. Green means you're open for making out, yellow means you're not sure and red means off limits. Needless to say I've never gone.

But that's a bit t of me

Noone's ever entitled to access to another persons body.


----------



## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

UltraShy said:


> I think people should be direct about what they are looking for and want. All this game playing is nonsensical. If somebody wants sex they should say so. If they don't want sex they should say so.


That's silly. If anything it's the other way around, though i don't think platonic relationships really work on the long run, particularly among adults.

Truth is, sex it's supposed to be part of a relationship. You don't 'ask' for sex because it's one of the basic elements of being in love in the first place, it's something most people enjoy and look forward to when starting to see each other for the first time.

If one party doesn't want to have sex, then it's a sign _something is wrong_, and quite frankly, if i were in that position i would propably try to solve whatever issue there might be or simply end the relatioship because obviously something ain't right.

Sorry ladies, i'm an hot blooded male and i have a fetish for the female body. Infact, i love every part it. Love your skin, your mouth, and your air. Love your bosom, your bottom and your mare. I love your eyes, and your gaze, sets my heart albaze. I love your grace, and your warmph, and the trembling of your sigh as i touch your breast, or the writhing of your body as i close my embrace. Yes, i love you, your soul, but also, your flesh and blood, your life, so vibrant, so pure, so alive..., erm, yes, anyway... :cig


----------



## ktglitzygirl (Apr 18, 2006)

:um


----------



## omgnoudidnt (Jan 8, 2005)

:um


----------



## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

:lol 

This thread has slowly begun turning in a new direction.


----------



## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

What. I thought women liked poetry... :b


----------



## ktglitzygirl (Apr 18, 2006)

yes..lol but that was kind of borderline creepy-guy-watching-through-a-window-while-a-woman-undresses kind of poetry


----------



## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

Well, a true artist must follow his heart where ever it may lead. At least i think it's the heart... :lol


----------



## omgnoudidnt (Jan 8, 2005)

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which by mistake happened to end up in a man's head.

She looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet.

"Hello?" she cried, but heard no answer.

"Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no answer.

Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled at the top of her voice," HELLO!!! IS THERE ANYONE HERE?"

Then she heard a very faint voice from far, far away: "We're down here..."


:lol :lol :lol


----------



## mismac (Oct 27, 2005)

LOL!


----------



## RMJS (Jun 9, 2005)

:lol Not bad.


----------



## Nyx (Nov 17, 2003)

:lol


----------



## sparkations (Nov 26, 2003)

Oftentimes, I find that guys who are virgins say that they are willing to wait until the girl is "ready", however long that may be. Maybe perhaps when the girl has fallen in love with the guy.

When it comes to guys who aren't virgins, they do expect sex with a girl about 2 months into a relationship. Yeah, I understand that guys have raging hormones, so it's something that they feel is an essential part of a relationship.

I don't think guys are entitled to sex, but if you don't want to have sex with a guy, then it might mean that you don't like the guy as much as you think you do. I mean, sex is supposed to be pleasurable on both sides. Am I wrong? How come it's always the girl who's complaining about not wanting to give it up? lol.


----------



## ktglitzygirl (Apr 18, 2006)

> I hate how everyone acts like guys are the only ones who want sex and they have to beg for the girl to give it to them. as if the girls don't want it and just have sex to please the guy.





> if you don't want to have sex with a guy, then it might mean that you don't like the guy as much as you think you do. I mean, sex is supposed to be pleasurable on both sides. Am I wrong? How come it's always the girl who's complaining about not wanting to give it up?


im answering with an assumption that the women in question are NOT virgins-

of course women want sex. 
maybe if girls were able to have fast orgasms like men, more would want sex more often? :stu 
if guys took longer, and if it was harder for them to get off, i bet they would complain about their partner wanting it so much too.

what if men were not gauranteed to have an orgasm?


----------



## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

ktglitzygirl said:


> what if men were not gauranteed to have an orgasm?


The entire fabric of reality as we know it would collapse and destroy all life in the universe...


----------



## Paaroska (Mar 16, 2006)

In the natural world what exactly is the purpose of the female orgasm?

In the case of a bf/gf relationship I guess its something that should be discussed early on. In a marriage I see it as an obligation on both sides.


----------



## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

> In the natural world what exactly is the purpose of the female orgasm?


There are certain theories about that, but overall I don't think it's that important.


----------



## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

Kara said:


> In the natural world what exactly is the purpose of the female orgasm?


 I'd say it has something to do with bonding. It's also supposed to increase desire to procreate. Kinda like, "Wow, that was awesome, let's do that again, and again.." The same goes with guys. 

Without pleasure, not many people would be having sex, and the human race would gradually become extinct.


----------



## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Thinking more about this topic, guys are sent mixed messages. Women don't want to be forced into sex yet they desire the guy to be the aggressor in this area and take control. If the guy does nothing in this area it's going to be a turn off to the lady that likes him. I guess there is some tiny place in the middle that guys are supposed work within.


----------



## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

ktglitzygirl said:


> > I hate how everyone acts like guys are the only ones who want sex and they have to beg for the girl to give it to them. as if the girls don't want it and just have sex to please the guy.
> 
> 
> [quote:0b41b]if you don't want to have sex with a guy, then it might mean that you don't like the guy as much as you think you do. I mean, sex is supposed to be pleasurable on both sides. Am I wrong? How come it's always the girl who's complaining about not wanting to give it up?


im answering with an assumption that the women in question are NOT virgins-

of course women want sex. 
maybe if girls were able to have fast orgasms like men, more would want sex more often? :stu 
if guys took longer, and if it was harder for them to get off, i bet they would complain about their partner wanting it so much too.

what if men were not gauranteed to have an orgasm?[/quote:0b41b]

Guys would still want it. There'd just be longer sessions.


----------



## omgnoudidnt (Jan 8, 2005)

When you look at us as animals (which we are), there is NO need for the female orgasm. If there was a need for it, it would be a requirement to get pregnant. 

When you look at us in an emotional sense, the female orgasm brings a togetherness and forms a bond...and, is quite lovely when achieved.


----------



## Paaroska (Mar 16, 2006)

To my knowledge humans are the only species with a female orgasm and no other species has gone extinct from lack of sex. It is instinctive for females to want to procreate. If there was no female orgasm perhaps there would be no unplanned pregnancies.


----------



## mismac (Oct 27, 2005)

Kara said:


> To my knowledge humans are the only species with a female orgasm


How do they know other species don't have female orgasm? Just because scientists aren't able to observe it in other species doesn't mean it doesn't exist.


----------



## BMSMA1A2B3 (Apr 7, 2006)

stellar said:


> Kara said:
> 
> 
> > To my knowledge humans are the only species with a female orgasm
> ...


Who in the bloody hell wants to be the scientist involved in *that* research? :twisted

Finding a cure for cancer or HIV/AIDS is something to be proud of. Figuring out whether your female dog orgasms isn't.


----------



## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

Female monkeys can. I just googled it :lol


----------



## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

I believe that dolphins have them as well.


----------



## omgnoudidnt (Jan 8, 2005)

Kara said:


> To my knowledge humans are the only species with a female orgasm and no other species has gone extinct from lack of sex. It is instinctive for females to want to procreate. If there was no female orgasm perhaps there would be no unplanned pregnancies.


You contradict yourself.  If it's instinctive for females to procreate, then it wouldn't _matter_ if the orgasm existed or not. We would have sex for no other reason than to procreate. And I still believe there would be unplanned pregnancies. There are a lot of reasons girls have sex other than orgasm...to please their SO, if they get drunk, peer pressure... etc. Also, what about rape? It's bound to happen, one way or another. And I don't know about anyone else, but I would still have sex, even if the female orgasm didn't exist. I would want to please my man! But that's just me.


----------



## Kelly (Dec 12, 2003)

Lyric Suite said:


> Women ARE sexual objects. Among other things of course, but let's not kid ourselves, shall we?


Women are most certainly NOT sexual objects. The offensive word here is "objects." More accuaratly, women are sexual "beings."

They are *made* into objects by outside factors (men, society, whomever you want to blame - that's not the point of this thread, though).

I think BMSMA1A2B3 made some good points originally. The problem was the delivery. Referring to women as "chics" probably isn't the best way to go about making your point.

But it's true. If I were in a two month relationship with a guy and we hadn't even brought up sex, I would wonder why. That doesn't mean that I should be obligated to put out before then, but if there was some problem that made two healthy, sexually active people who were interested in each other avoid the act or the topic after two months, I would wonder why. For whatever reason, we probably wouldn't be compatible.


----------

