# Anyone else becoming content with not having a social life?



## agal1985 (Jan 19, 2014)

For me, I feel it is by choice. My feelings change a lot. I seem to make friends easily but can't keep up with the social obligations. I need too much alone time. 

I started trying to accept myself. I get lonely and restless once in a GREAT while. I enjoy get togethers with my sister and her friends. She understands me and I feel they do, too. 
I also have old work friends but they're male though. I'm a woman and yes I do feel I need female connections. 

Anyway, I started really trying to accept myself. I feel better but at the same time, embarrassed. I started keeping connections that felt like their obligation weighed me down, just so I could technically have friends. Was friends with a girl that I never really clicked with. Always crickets. Really sweet girl that always invited me out, but it never felt worth it to me. Always felt bored or like I'd rather be somewhere else, whereas the few connections now I never feel that way. 

I don't know, I just worry I will regret deciding to be ok with my aloneness. I enjoy it though and I'm sick of fighting it. But I've regret it in the past, but also, regret due to feeling like I HAD TO have friends. 

Overall, I only feel embarrassed if someone were to know. I seem to give people the vibe that I've got this big social life but I don't. 

I was just wondering if anyone else out there started to accept themselves as having no friends and perhaps preferring their alone time? Not due to giving up, but because it is what you wanted all along?


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## beemee (Mar 6, 2014)

For me, sometimes I feel like I'm ok without friends. I tell myself that having friends is just adding more stress to my already anxious life. Other times I do long for that companionship. My problem is that I am too scared to go out and meet people.


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## eren (Feb 15, 2014)

Not really content, but indifferent. There's no difference between being alone and surrounded by people as I'm always detached from reality.


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## Conquer Fear (Aug 11, 2013)

I dunno, I tell myself that "I am ok alone for the most part" but usually at the end of the night (and I have spent long periods in isolation) it starts to really get to you. It just isn't healthy. At this point, I am a firm believer that I would be friends with almost a complete idiot at this point that I had nothing in common with, as long as they didn't try to steal from me, borrow money or stab me in the back. You need to talk to someone just to vent.


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## GrainneR (Feb 7, 2014)

My friend-less status isn't by choice. I am, however, mostly resigned to it. I've tried my best to make friends, or just one single friend, to no avail.
I mean, if someone strolled up to me and wanted to be my friend, I'd give it a shot. I'm not going to hold my breath for that, though.


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## skys (Mar 14, 2014)

I don't think I'm content with having no social life, which is why on most days I don't have any motivation to get up out of bed. If in 5 years or so nothing has changed then I'll probably accept my state and just tough life out, but for now I'll keep trying little by little, as of yet to no avail.


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## Ms Yesterday (Jan 28, 2013)

I'm the same with giving people the impression I've got this great social life, apparently people think I'm a "party girl" when I couldn't be more of a recluse.
To answer the question I feel like I tell myself that I'm fine being introverted and not having much social life and it's by choice but it's not like I'm particularly happy.
Usually I'm pretty indifferent about it, but then some nights it really hits me how lonely I am.
No matter who you are, having genuine friends is really so priceless.


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## Laboratory Rat (Mar 1, 2014)

I feel that way too. I don't even care about getting friends, girlfriend or similar anymore-I wish to enjoy the life by myself, once I get independent and get a job.


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## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

Laboratory Rat said:


> I feel that way too. I don't even care about getting friends, girlfriend or similar anymore-I wish to enjoy the life by myself, once I get independent and get a job.


I was the same but I can't get a better paying job to move out of home and my own place and enjoy my hobby so im ending it in the next couple of years the joys of been a high school drop out


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## 000XXX000 (Dec 1, 2013)

some days yes, other days no. I have no desire to be this way the rest of my life. Being introverted I have no problem with, being completely shut off from the world more or less I do.


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## lonelyalways (Jun 19, 2012)

I wish I could become content with having no friends. I try to accept it and be okay with it so it won't hurt so much. I just can't though. I truly want friendship. My biggest problem is I do get out regularly. I have been a member of certain groups for years, but I am always an outsider. Nobody speaks to me outside of the group. One of the reasons I deactivated Facebook was I couldn't stand seeing how much I was left out. People got together all the time, but I was never invited to do anything outside the group. Truth be told, nobody speaks to me much during group activities. I've known some of these people for years and honestky care about them. It is not reciprocated though. None of these people care about me.


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## i suck at life (Mar 14, 2014)

yea, i'm pretty much the same way. my thing is, i just get too lazy to keep in touch. like for me, its work, and a lot of effort to keep up with friends. it sounds so pathetic and im very ashamed of it, but thats just how i feel. idk, i just dont like having to think of things to say. i'd rather be alone and not have to worry about entertaining ppl


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## Kml5111 (Dec 16, 2012)

I am content with not having friends and/or a girlfriend. I still dream of having a girlfriend, but it just doesn't make me want it enough to do something about it. It is rare that I will "want" a girlfriend. I have embraced my life of solitude and what is to come of this choice. I will only live for myself the way I want to.

Everyone here has given a reason as to why socializing is such a pain. I can relate to these reasons. Why do something that feels unnatural to myself. I'd prefer to be mute, but then again i could just not speak which i do most of the time anyway.


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## bottleofblues (Aug 6, 2008)

No I never will be, I desire good friendships more than a partner


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## oood (Nov 1, 2012)

In one sense I'm happy being alone but there are two weird undercurrents about it. Firstly, the fact that any form of social interaction will find me scrambling to impress the other person and smiling like an idiot if I'm deemed successful. Also It's scarier and more alienating to confront the outside world having no contacts or direct 'approval' from it via friends.


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## masterridley (Jan 20, 2007)

bottleofblues said:


> No I never will be, I desire good friendships more than a partner


^ what kurt said


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## HanSolo (Jul 5, 2013)

I both hate and love being alone and friendless. I don't want to be friends with my roommates, I hide away when they are in the kitchen. I don't talk to guys as friends when I go to bars. I don't associate or even talk to my family.

Yet I get lots of 'friend energy' from movies, radio, even video games.....without that, what would I do??????????

Sometimes I know I only want to be friendly with pretty girls, but they sure aren't interested in me any amount.


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## KalamityRVT (Apr 4, 2014)

Ok, we need to have a party where it's ok no one talks, we'll just pin whatever info about ourselves we want to share with others to our clothes. we will also have a "closeness couch", where people will sit touching each other and it's a safe space to ask to hold hands or hug (no more than that) so that even if we can't talk, there is some contact. So if we find someone we can relate to and talk to, great, but if not, at least there was some craved interaction.


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## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

I'm not _becoming_ content, I'm already there. Although, getting bored as f--- isn't ideal, I sometimes just couldn't be happier than when I'm doing next to nothing, or doing something simple, like reading a book, laying in bed under the covers, staying up late, getting drunk, doing random, unplanned exercise that leads to nowhere, but in the moment I pretend is making a difference, lol.

It's not that being alone is that great. It's that being around other people is that awful. Sometimes, just because anxiety, but also because you inevitably run into a dumba-- or a jerk, from time to time. Just makes me want to go home and get annihilated. I mean, that's the only reason I still see my therapist, haha. Guy only makes me talk for like a literal minute, writes the prescription, and I'm out the door. It's horrible and wonderful at the same time.


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## Cipher (Nov 12, 2011)

At times I do feel abnormal not having any friends to hang out with, but at the same time I've lived my life without friends for so long that I'm kind of used to it. I can't say I'm content with it, but I can tolerate it.


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## Losti (Aug 23, 2012)

I kind of just lazily skimmed through this thread, but yeah I think its easy to be content the more you don't know any better as to what is maybe a social life. Its when you experience meaningful and enjoyable interactions, you might than use this as a benchmark as to what you should be experiencing more, which can leave you feeling bad.


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## safetytx (Dec 23, 2013)

Very content with not having many friends anymore, mostly because there are so many fake friends out there it is just ridiculous. Deleted facebook because I was tired of all the social networking & honestly I feel better than ever. I feel like a very hard to reach person now that I deleted facebook, people will have to try and get in touch with me. I like my life though, yes.


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## Logston (Nov 27, 2013)

Yes, I've become fairly content with it for around three years. I really do enjoy solitude, so sometimes it's hard for me to understand some of the people on here that are just so desperate for friends. Friendships are hard for me and I just don't know if maintaining them is worth the trouble. 

I actively made the decision to not go out of my way to try to make friends and I slowly cut all but a few friends out. There are three girls that I sometimes hit up to hang out or they do me. We never chat through text/phone or anything, and when we do hang out it has usually been 2-3 months since we last have. Can't say I feel embarrassed because nobody knows me well enough to know how little I socialize, but sometimes I'll lie to avoid embarrassment if people ask me about friends. 

Occasionally I do get lonely, though. Not for extended periods of time, but if I've had a rough day, I just think "Wow, it would be nice to just have somebody come over and vent with."


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## stillpushingmyselfalong (Apr 2, 2014)

I'm used to doing everything for myself because it's always been that way, but i do realise the benefit of friendship when things get tough to do by yourself or the dreaded you and five mates invite, which hasn't happened yet but it'll always freak me out. Another thing that is always on my mind is what will happen to my dogs if i die in a car crash or something, how long will it be before somebody comes to them let alone what happens to them afterward.


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## DeniseAfterAll (Jul 28, 2012)

You need money to have friends . You need money ... and a Job ... to have Friends . 

Otherwise they will always feel forced to shout you at the restaurant/cinema/cafe/bar .. .. and will start to feel that you are taking advantage of them . That you are using them , because you can't afford to pay for your own meals/drinks/tickets .

And if you tell them that you don't want to go out because can't afford to go to places like that , they'll get bored .. and never ask you to hang out again .

- Personal experience .


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