# I think people at work hate me



## MariMaid (Apr 16, 2014)

Hi guys!

I'm new, but I'm getting so frustrated with myself that I can't take it anymore. So I'm 20ish now, at my very first internship at the government. My floor has a lot of people on it, and of course everyone knows each other. So I have been working there for almost 8 months, and I still haven't gotten friendly with most of the people that work on my floor. 

I know its embarrassing, I just can't seem to get over the fact that I'm so freaking shy about talking to others. I always feel like no one likes me off the bat so I don't start a conversation. I also find it so hard to say hi to people. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm scared they won't say hi back to me or reject me (catastrophic thinking), so I don't say hi or greet at all (VERY stupid idea). I often talk really low (trying to get over this, especially someone embarrassed me in front of a whole group at university saying "Why do you talk so low?? I can't fcking hear you!" dead silence for a couple of minutes because I couldn't think of something to say, I feel so awkward and depressed just thinking about it). so people don't hear me and when I have to repeat myself I get much more anxious, nervous and want to die.

So whenever I see someone who I know talking with someone I don't know I feel so anxious! I can't get over it, I feel the anxiety I would feel for public speaking so I just get out of there and don't say hi to the "friend" I made at work. Well this has been going on for quite sometime....and I've been noticing that a few of the people I got to know are not talking to me. I didn't notice it before, but recently looked up on my facebook and got unfriended by them.  

I feel like **** because I didn't realize it looks like I was ignoring them for all that time, ughhhhhh! I don't know why I couldn't say "hi, good morning. How are you!" or just a "Hey X" etc. ughhhhhhhh. I think my anxiety has increased greatly at this new job and I just can't believe I let it increase like this! The first 3 months here was great! so great that I extended my working there for 12 months!!! Now I have four more months here and feel like everyone is going to hate me by then! Thinking I'm a cold ***** or something when I'm just scared that they will not like me when they look at me (did I mention that I'm very anxious about my looks, yeah....I don't think I'm very attractive sighhhes) or get to know me they will not like me. I'm so frustrated that I let it go for this f-ing long (my social anxiety) and never thought the way I acting was weird -___-.

Can I fix this?? Has anyone been in the same position as me?


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## woovor (Apr 13, 2014)

Don't you also hate it whenever you go to a cash register and someone asks you "Hi, How are you?," and you might reply, "Good, How are you?" and it ends there. Yes, I cannot blame you being shy on saying hi without getting hi back. Unfortunately that's a way of life and we just have to move on. For someone so anxious, the easiest way is to just say hi and end it there if the conversation has no chance of progressing.

I know it's easier said than done, but it's not worth the time and anxiety of just stressing over it. The more you do it, the easier it will get. We all have to start somewhere. Tomorrow when you go to work just give your coworkers a nice smile and say "hi" and you already made a huge step. You will feel better and the coworker will feel better about you.

From what you said, it seems you are anxious of people talking about you. There is nothing wrong with that because lot of people are private people. Acting anxious and distant from them will get everyone talking more about you unfortunately. People always want something to talk about.

Bottom line is just try your best to give a smile and say hi and that will make a huge difference. It's not as hard as it seems. You'll never know the outcome until you try. Good luck!


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## MariMaid (Apr 16, 2014)

woovor said:


> Don't you also hate it whenever you go to a cash register and someone asks you "Hi, How are you?," and you might reply, "Good, How are you?" and it ends there. Yes, I cannot blame you being shy on saying hi without getting hi back. Unfortunately that's a way of life and we just have to move on. For someone so anxious, the easiest way is to just say hi and end it there if the conversation has no chance of progressing.
> 
> I know it's easier said than done, but it's not worth the time and anxiety of just stressing over it. The more you do it, the easier it will get. We all have to start somewhere. Tomorrow when you go to work just give your coworkers a nice smile and say "hi" and you already made a huge step. You will feel better and the coworker will feel better about you.
> 
> ...


Thank you for your advice  I finally called a crisis line and talked about my problems, anxiety, depression suicidal thoughts etc yesterday bc I couldn't sleep. It felt amazing afterwards like a heavy weight has been lifted. I went to work with a fresh, happier mind and I finally said 'hi' to multiple people at work. It took a lot and my heart was bounding but I kept striving bc I knew I would feel great after I said it. I think I can repair this and I dont feel hopeless. Whenever I feel down and like dirt I will call.


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## woovor (Apr 13, 2014)

I am very happy hear that you were able to take the first few steps. Keep it up!


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