# I feel stupid at work, not learning fast enough. Help!



## Timeylordy (Oct 31, 2015)

Hello, I'm having a moment of disbelief in myself and my ability to function properly at my first job, I work down in my local harbor at a terminal. At the moment I'm learning the program for booking tickets and costumer service and I'm starting to doubt myself. It's crucial that I learn the booking program before being able to move onto other tasks, because the program is essential to other areas of my work. Well, I might be harsh to myself at the moment but It honestly feels like I'm not learning quickly enough. I had a three day course and this tuesday I had an 2 hour learning time where I was given a chance to take bookings from real people that called. It went "okay" I guess and today I had my second day of talking to actual people and booking. Well, the thing is that I feel so stupid and slow.

I don't know how to respond to the people asking questions about something when I haven't a clue or I don't know how to actually perform the task. Today I could see that the worker that was teaching me the ropes became agitated at me and I also saw the person leaning over to the other worker whispering something to the other person as I was leaving, it might be paranoia but I'm quite sure it was directed towards me because there was no reason for whispering. I have always had the feeling of not being as clever as others and seeing myself as inferior to others and it's being translated to the work place. It feels as if I'm not learning as quickly as I should be learning, and it pisses me off. Just for once in my life, I want to achieve something. I was happy at first when I realised that they wanted me to work for them but now I'm losing my confidence at an alarming rate.

My third "learning" day is on monday with another worker, please let me have some victories. Just let me feel good and feel like I'm actually improving. So, my problem is feeling stupid, inferior and not being able to soak up the information that is necessary to be able to do the job. It's stressing me out and it felt like my life was actually turning to a brighter side of life. I just want to improve and become a better person, in life including my work. Don't want my first job to be a chaotic mess and end with failure. There's too much failure in my life, I want to achieve this so badly. Do you have any tips for me and also a way to deal with the stress and anxiety because it's honestly eating my willpower! 

Thank you if you read this, It's deeply appreciated!


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## ThatQuietGirl02 (Jan 14, 2014)

Hi, 

I hope your doing better on Monday than your previous days. You need to stop being so hard on yourself and stop focusing so much on what you could be doing wrong and the mistakes you are making. You are new at this job, you are going to make mistakes, everyone does. You seem to be allowing your anxiety to build up so much almost to a point of panic and this can really affect the way that you are doing your job. When you feel yourself start to panic you need to stop and remind yourself that you are being irrational. When you begin to panic and obsess over what people are thinking about you, your mind can play tricks on you and kind of "give you what you want to hear" so you find a reason to say "omg they whispering about me because I am so awful" when really it could have been anything. 

You need to try to control your anxiety and stop it from reaching a point of panic.


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

If it is at all possible you should tell your superior about your anxiety issues and that your insecurities make it hard for you to perform 110% from day 1.

My psychologist told me that I should tell my boss/whatever about my shortcomings (i.e my anxeity issues) so that the climate will be less threatening. This way you have the gotten rid of the stress of "keeping your anxiety a secret" and have more energy to focus on the job, while also allowing your colleagues and superiors to know why you "are that way".


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## Timeylordy (Oct 31, 2015)

Thank you, ThatQuietGirl02. There's been victories and losses. Today was a truly bad day, but there have been a few okayish days. Yes, I'm trying to get a handle on my anxiety and stop it from developing into a panic. I'm quite sure it comes from not knowing the "program" good enough, so I feel insecure about what I'm supposed to do when the customers want a specific thing and sometimes, the customers are rude but that's part of the job I guess. I have about three days left now until I have to nail the booking, that alone makes me incredibly stressed but hey, the worse thing that could happen is me getting fired. That's about it, thank you for your reply. I'm researching about different methods to contain anxiety, so it may not interfere with my job. We will see how it goes in the future, it's stressful and uncertainty is in the air but with time it will either improve or not. Some jobs are not for some people. But thank you, it helped!


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## Timeylordy (Oct 31, 2015)

Hey, Versikk, my plan was to tell them about my anxiety and insecurities but everything happened so fast at the interview. Now, I have been contemplating about telling them. It might give them more clarity about my situation. They knew that I was nervous, my friend that works there told them about me. They said it was okay and just showed that I'm more willing to learn and I'm willing to learn, I truly want to learn and be a good employee. Don't know if they knew that I have more than just nervousness, but I will think about telling them. It might be good for me and them if I tell them that I suffer from social anxiety. Thank you for your reply and I can understand why it's stress relieving. I can feel it just writing about it, haha.


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