# A few things I've noticed about the ladies



## nervousman (Jun 9, 2010)

They're cute, soft, and they don't smell like sweaty apes. Maybe one day I'll be able to kidnap one of these creatures and marry them. I have to work on this.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Sounds romantic :b


----------



## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

Sound's like a plan!


----------



## RyanJ (Mar 31, 2009)

This seems like a biblically sound plan to me.


----------



## Alexa (Jun 10, 2010)

You should get a rabbit. They're cuter than people, they're softer than people, and they smell like alfalfa. 

That way nobody gets kidnapped, and you don't go to jail.


----------



## Sunny 137 (Jul 5, 2011)

Alexa said:


> You should get a rabbit. They're cuter than people, they're softer than people, and they smell like alfalfa.
> 
> That way, nobody gets kidnapped, and you don't go to jail.


 :yes


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Alexa said:


> You should get a rabbit. They're cuter than people, they're softer than people, and they smell like alfalfa.
> 
> That way, nobody gets kidnapped, and you don't go to jail.


lol! awesome


----------



## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

bring dem back to ya mancave!!!1!


----------



## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

Alexa said:


> You should get a rabbit. They're cuter than people, they're softer than people, and they smell like alfalfa.
> 
> That way nobody gets kidnapped, and you don't go to jail.


They don't do much for the sex life though. Bunnies are notoriously horny, but i don't think many people are horny for bunnies, except maybe the playboy kind.


----------



## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

I've seen a few in my days who both look and smell like apes.
Jus sayin'
LOL


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Logan X said:


> They don't do much for the sex life though. Bunnies are notoriously horny, but i don't think many people are horny for bunnies, except maybe the playboy kind.


Can I kidnap a playboy bunny? :idea

Although Hugh Hefner would probably not want to sign the adoption papers!


----------



## Dan iel (Feb 13, 2011)

kathy903 said:


> I've seen a few in my days who both look and smell like apes.
> Jus sayin'
> LOL


Harsh :O

Good plan BTW!


----------



## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

How do dem ladiez get so darn purrrrdy? :um


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Rixy said:


> How do dem ladiez get so darn purrrrdy? :um


"they put the lotion on the skiiiiiiinnnnn"

haha jk


----------



## SPC (May 14, 2011)




----------



## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

We're angels, what can I say?


----------



## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

nervousman said:


> They're cute, soft, and they don't smell like sweaty apes. Maybe one day I'll be able to kidnap one of these creatures and marry them. I have to work on this.


Marry? You are doing it wrong.


----------



## Imaginative dreamer (Aug 4, 2011)

Not all are soft and cuddly, some are snappy and atrocious at heart. Good luck finding that great girl!


----------



## this portrait (Jul 18, 2009)

Bahaha, believe me, there are plenty of women out there who, if we didn't keep ourselves extra squeaky clean, then we WOULD smell bad, haha! Thank God for deodorant!


----------



## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

Hee hee heeee. I like this thread.

All my extra poundage means I am super soft and cushy. Whee.


----------



## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

bwidger85 said:


> Sounds romantic :b


:ditto


----------



## Wacky Wednesdays (Apr 10, 2011)

A few things I've noticed about the guys...they're warm, fuzzy, sweaty and strong. Maybe one day I'll kidnap one of these bears and we'll hibernate. Gotta work on this


----------



## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

kathy903 said:


> I've seen a few in my days who both look and smell like apes.
> Jus sayin'
> LOL





Imaginative dreamer said:


> Not all are soft and cuddly, some are snappy and atrocious at heart. Good luck finding that great girl!





this portrait said:


> Bahaha, believe me, there are plenty of women out there who, if we didn't keep ourselves extra squeaky clean, then we WOULD smell bad, haha! Thank God for deodorant!


I'll pretend I didn't hear that.


----------



## loquaciousintrovert (May 23, 2011)

Ape in space said:


> I'll pretend I didn't hear that.


Yes, women are stinky, gross creatures just like men are. The difference is that we are expected to take greater measures to hide it.

Deal with it.


----------



## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

loquaciousintrovert said:


> Yes, women are stinky, gross creatures just like men are. The difference is that we are expected to take greater measures to hide it.
> 
> Deal with it.


As a man, and a white, middle aged man which makes me the best at granting permission, you have my permission to be stinky.


----------



## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

heroin said:


> Marry? You are doing it wrong.


:rofl


----------



## GunnyHighway (Sep 28, 2010)

Perfectionist said:


> Hee hee heeee. I like this thread.
> 
> All my extra poundage means I am super soft and cushy. Whee.


*pokes your belly*

:blank

*runs*


----------



## jet10 (Oct 29, 2010)

Wacky Wednesdays said:


> A few things I've noticed about the guys...they're warm, fuzzy, sweaty and strong. Maybe one day I'll kidnap one of these bears and we'll hibernate. Gotta work on this


You can kidnap me anytime


----------



## artandis (Jun 5, 2011)

GunnyHighway said:


> *pokes your belly*
> 
> :blank
> 
> *runs*


This made me laugh SO hard


----------



## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

GunnyHighway said:


> *pokes your belly*
> 
> :blank
> 
> *runs*


Careful, you're going to get a serious Pillsbury style smackdown for that :b

(isn't it nice and soft and cushy though?)


----------



## SuchSweetSorrow (Jun 1, 2011)

Sweetheart;

when the right time comes; with the right nonape sweating object of your affection;

you wont have to kidnap one

they will kidnap you:b


----------



## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

Atticus said:


> As a man, and a white, middle aged man which makes me the best at granting permission, you have my permission to be stinky.


 Alriiiiiight permission! /throws deodorant out the window


----------



## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

Atticus said:


> As a man, and a white, middle aged man which makes me the best at granting permission, you have my permission to be stinky.





au Lait said:


> Alriiiiiight permission! /throws deodorant out the window


No no no. If I *really* get to decide, I'm choosing non stinky. I meet that standard myself 3-4 days per week, so....


----------



## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

Atticus said:


> No no no. If I *really* get to decide, I'm choosing non stinky. I meet that standard myself 3-4 days per week, so....


Oh... :< Well I guess I'll go scrape the shattered remains of my deodorant off the pavement outside then.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

This thread is cute. 

And sad, because I can relate.


----------



## Hiccups (Jul 15, 2011)

Wacky Wednesdays said:


> A few things I've noticed about the guys...they're warm, fuzzy, sweaty and strong. Maybe one day I'll kidnap one of these bears and we'll hibernate. Gotta work on this












QUICK STOP HIM HE'S ABOUT TO DRIVE AWAY!!!! *shoots for the tires*.


----------



## WalkingDisaster (Nov 27, 2010)

nervousman said:


> They're cute, soft, and they don't smell like sweaty apes. Maybe one day I'll be able to kidnap one of these creatures and marry them. I have to work on this.


And what are those things they have on their chests? Can somebody explain??? :um


----------



## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

WalkingDisaster said:


> And what are those things they have on their chests? Can somebody explain??? :um


Portable pillows for our convienence. :yes


----------



## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

Hiccups said:


> QUICK STOP HIM HE'S ABOUT TO DRIVE AWAY!!!! *shoots for the tires*.


:spit hahaha omg I laughed so hard at this


----------



## WalkingDisaster (Nov 27, 2010)

jsgt said:


> Portable pillows for our convienence. :yes


You mean we can just go and use these pillows whenever we feel like it? I thought you had do take the girl out to dinner first!


----------



## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

haha! Well...you can, but must have running shoes on and a tough layer of skin on either side of your face.

Good point, I neglected to mention that to gain access to said pillows, one much enter into an exclusive relationship with said pillow posessor. Only then will you be able to touch pillows and not get slapped/arrested.


----------



## WalkingDisaster (Nov 27, 2010)

jsgt said:


> haha! Well...you can, but must have running shoes on and a tough layer of skin on either side of your face.
> 
> Good point, I neglected to mention that to gain access to said pillows, one much enter into an exclusive relationship with said pillow posessor. Only then will you be able to touch pillows and not get slapped/arrested.


How do you go about obtaining said relationship? (Seriously, I need to know, and not just for the "pillows".)


----------



## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

You have to act like you do not want to touch the pillows(even though you really do) and convince them that you arent a perverted pillow toucher. Hypnosis might work too. 

Oh, you said seriously... 
hmmm, errrrrr uhhhhh yeeeeeeeah ehhhh, Im just not sure about that right now. <-?


----------

