# Should you ever compliment a woman?



## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

Based on my experiences in person and online (forums, dating website) I've found that women are a lot less likely to respond to you or carry out a conversation if you compliment them.

I've had conversations with women in some of my classes, and when I keep the topic about the course itself or about everyday things, all goes well. But once I compliment them, even subtly, they're extremely reserved and in some cases even avoid me (sit elsewhere, ignore me, etc). For example, I regularly chatted and studied with a girl last semester and everything went fine for weeks. Then, during one of our conversations, she starts complaining that she looks terrible in the outfit she's wearing. So I said, "You look great, I wouldn't worry about it." That's it. After that day, she sat on the other side of the lecture hall and never spoke to me again.

And even this forum is a great example. You see threads all the time where girls talk about how they think they're unattractive, then when they get 50 replies from guys saying that they're cute, they'll ignore every single one of them. I can think of quite a few regular female posters on here that look down upon anyone that compliments them. Just take a look at the "post a picture of yourself" thread.

And on dating sites, if you say that you think a girl is attractive, regardless of how many messages you've exchanged beforehand, she'll stop replying.

Why is this?


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## Implicate (Feb 1, 2011)

My spouse compliments females quite often (Both in my presence and out of it, we are both very secure in our relationship and commitment to one another) and has never really had much of an issue with what you describe. Perhaps it is an issue with your delivery?

I don't really like compliments, I have a self esteem issue, but never have I done anything more than be shy after a compliment. It's never made me consider not talking to a person, or avoiding them completely, and I always try to show appreciation for the compliment whether or not I agree with it.


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## A name (Dec 5, 2012)

9 times out of 10 girls (or guys) that say they're ugly are just looking for attention and fishing for compliments. They don't really care about who is giving the compliment, they just want the compliment for their self esteem. Don't let it bother you.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

I don't believe in boosting ego's unless she's my girl. Other than that, I'll compliment everything but her looks.


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## Eyesontheskies (Jan 31, 2013)

Well for me when a guy compliments me I get kind of nervous and not really sure what to say so sometimes I try to avoid them. For me though, I like that the guy gave me a compliment but I am mad at myself for not knowing how to respond. I do have to say though, if you compliment a girl make sure it's one that you would actually consider dating cuz when girls get a compliment from a guy they automatically assume that that guy is a little interested. There is a guy in my class who compliments me a lot and I liked it at first but now I hate it cuz now when he tells me I look pretty or something I just think, "we'll that's great but if I am so pretty why don't you ask me out to dinner or something" it's like now the compliments have just become irritating. So just don't give a girl too many compliments unless you are actually pursuing her and in that case don't wait too long before making the first move


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

Well, maybe if she says she looks terrible in that outfit she really thinks so, she doesn't feel beautiful in it for some reason. So it doesn't make her feel better if you like it on her. But I can be wrong of course. Too many compliments is not good in the way it may sound not sincere, you know. But hopefully your situation will change for better if you try more and if you do not press on women. 
By the way, I am sorry I have deleted your message. I just didn't like the avatar. Please forgive me.


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

I have a feeling compliments may not be that good, at least if you dont know the woman. I rarely gave compliments in the past and still managed to make contact with some women. However you should compliment (if you really mean it) her if you know her longer and also she may be into you. But I fell complimenting random woman to "pick her up" might not work. I used compliments (to learn it) in my last 3 interactions and non of these went well. Maybe better joke about her and tease etc.

I used this compliment: "You have a nice smile" or "I like you, it seems you are a funny person that laughs much" lame probably


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## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

Don't let that one girl stop you from complimenting others you find attractive. If you must, tell her from the start how good she looks, but say it in a way in which you couldn't care less how she reacts. Never rely on compliments for the expectation that she's going to fall for you or even want to hang out. The initial compliment is the most important, but you must have a plan to ask her out or she's going to feel like, "oh so he wants me to reward him for just his compliments. nope. if he doesn't have the balls to ask me out, then he isn't the guy for me."


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## Daktoria (Sep 21, 2010)

Rainbat said:


> Based on my experiences in person and online (forums, dating website) I've found that women are a lot less likely to respond to you or carry out a conversation if you compliment them.
> 
> I've had conversations with women in some of my classes, and when I keep the topic about the course itself or about everyday things, all goes well. But once I compliment them, even subtly, they're extremely reserved and in some cases even avoid me (sit elsewhere, ignore me, etc). For example, I regularly chatted and studied with a girl last semester and everything went fine for weeks. Then, during one of our conversations, she starts complaining that she looks terrible in the outfit she's wearing. So I said, "You look great, I wouldn't worry about it." That's it. After that day, she sat on the other side of the lecture hall and never spoke to me again.
> 
> ...


It depends.

Ugly girls appreciate it. Pretty girls don't.

Girls in general are looking for sarcasm and teasing. You shouldn't compliment them straight up unless you're already on their good side and they have a bad day. Otherwise, you come off as a tool who lacks self-respect since you're wasting your breath.


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## MrQuiet76 (Aug 26, 2011)

OP, the same exact things happen to me whenever I compliment women online or IRL. It's always baffled me because they seem to respond so favorably to others' compliments.


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## ACCV93 (Sep 6, 2012)

I'm often too shy to compliment a girl on something, but if I do, most of the time they appreciate it.


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## little toaster (Jul 5, 2012)

No, unless everyone else does it. Or if they have dressed up for a special occasion.

Doesn't this only work if the girl finds you attractive?


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## ACCV93 (Sep 6, 2012)

little toaster said:


> No, unless everyone else does it. Or if they have dressed up for a special occasion.
> 
> Doesn't this only work if the girl finds you attractive?


Toaster cmon, if a girl gave you a compliment, whether you found them attractive or not, you would still be appreciate it right?


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

I see no harm in complimenting a woman. Personally, I truly appreciate compliments from men, although it is difficult for me to accept them on the outside because of my issues with my looks (and I feel bad about that because I don't want to be rude). I would never be mean to a guy or avoid them because of a compliment; at the most, I would just question if they meant it or not. I've been called ugly by guys to my face many times for years, so if a random guy ever came up to me and complimented me, I would probably die of a heart attack in utter shock. (So women really need to appreciate when they get them, because there are many of us out there that would kill to get them and not feel so ugly!)


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## Ricebunnyx3 (Sep 1, 2010)

Maybe she didn't think you were being sincere.

I think compliments are nice.

I like to compliment girls (I say that because I don't think I ever complimented a boy before, maybe once or twice but about their dancing not appearance), although sometimes I'm too scared to. 

I think people generally like compliments. But nice compliments like "Your hair is cute" not like "You're hot" 

But when I (rarely) get compliments from guys, I generally think they're lying to me... But I doubt every girl is like that.

I think if you started a conversation w/ "You're hot" or something along those lines I can see why a girl would not continue a conversation w/ you. But you did nothing wrong... the situation just seems strange... 

I don't think the girl was fishing for compliments like someone said. She probably really thought her outfit was ugly. A lot of times, I'll put together an outfit thinking it looks nice but when I leave I think it looks ugly...

But about the whole dating site thing, why don't you wait for them to say they think you're attractive. Maybe they think that's all you care about and that that's why you're talking to them. It's really not necessary to tell them you think they're attractive.

And I've never really been in that thread so...idk about that, but that is weird... if someone compliments me I always say "Thank you" regardless if I believe them or not.


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## Ricebunnyx3 (Sep 1, 2010)

tbyrfan said:


> I see no harm in complimenting a woman. Personally, I truly appreciate compliments from men, although it is difficult for me to accept them on the outside because of my issues with my looks (and I feel bad about that because I don't want to be rude). I would never be mean to a guy or avoid them because of a compliment; at the most, I would just question if they meant it or not. I've been called ugly by guys to my face many times for years, so if a random guy ever came up to me and complimented me, I would probably die of a heart attack in utter shock. (So women really need to appreciate when they get them, because there are many of us out there that would kill to get them and not feel so ugly!)


This may be kind of irrelevant, but I think you're gorgeous!


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

I compliment other girls more often now cause I like when they compliment me. Like I usually get compliments on my makeup, hair, and clothes a lot. So if I'm talking to a girl whose makeup is nice or hair or clothes I like, I tell her. Very seldom guys will compliment my makeup or clothes, but it's not in a flirty way, and I'm usually really flattered. The very very rare times guys compliment my looks, or girls sometimes rarely will too, I get super duper flattered and say thanks. I don't know why a girl would get insulted unless she thought the compliment was indicating interest when she wasn't interested.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

I hate getting compliments from girls because I get them _all the time_, but never from guys (whose opinions seem to be more honest and valid). Kinda shows in bright lights where I stand. A lot of girls will compliment almost anyone just to be nice, so I never know if they're being honest or not. With guys, it seems like most of them won't bother to compliment a woman unless they really think that they're attractive.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

I still count ones from others girls because usually they're saying them cause they mean them and just want to let you know. That's why I give compliments, at least. Plus guys don't give compliments out a lot cause they don't wanna seem overbearing or creepy or something, but girls can give them out freely. IDK, I just love getting compliments so I believe them all haha, I take them from wherever I can get them.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Barette said:


> for the most part it's easy to tell the genuine compliments from the ones just given to be nice.


Really? This is *EXTREMELY* difficult for me. How can you tell?


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

I don't give compliments often unless I mean it. I can't stand white lies.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

tbyrfan said:


> Really? This is *EXTREMELY* difficult for me. How can you tell?


Haha, I'll have to re-edit that into my post (I'm such a serial editor).

You can just tell by tone of voice and circumstances and all that. Like, if I were to say "My makeup looks horrible" and a girl was to be like "No it looks pretty!" then yeah she's likely just saying that, but if a girl was like "Oh, I love your makeup" then she's telling the truth, cause why else say that? Like, I know with BDD your inner critic can be like "No she didn't mean it at all" but really, girls give compliments cause they like being nice and making someone else feel good, and that doesn't mean they're lying. I give compliments cause I know the other person will appreciate it, but that doesn't mean I give compliments I don't mean.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

^ I think girls really like trying to make others feel better. Most girls I know will compliment anyone, including unattractive people, on their looks. Guys don't seem to give compliments for charity often; they usually just tell it like it is. I rarely put down my looks in public, so I almost always get compliments out of the blue - but I think some people just like to give others a confidence booster.


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## VanGogh (Jan 13, 2013)

Take it from 40 years of life experience: Never compliment a woman, even if you want to, even if you mean it, even if they're fishing for it. Never, not once. Don't believe what you are told by women about it. Some will reply to this thread I'm sure and claim otherwise. Don't believe it. Just talk to women you're interested in and never compliment, ever.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

You're OK to give compliments if it isn't from a place of insecurity. If someone can't take a sincere compliment then that's their issue. As soon are you start giving compliments from a place of insecurity you're ****ing up.


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## SparklingWater (Jan 16, 2013)

As long as it feels genuine and not leering creepy I don't mind. Just say thank you and keep it moving. It's when they continue and overdo it gets weird.


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

tbyrfan said:


> I've been called ugly by guys to my face many times for years, so if a random guy ever came up to me and complimented me, I would probably die of a heart attack in utter shock. (So women really need to appreciate when they get them, because there are many of us out there that would kill to get them and not feel so ugly!)


Alright, I don't mean to be a jerk, but you're one of the main people I'm talking about. I've seen you post your pictures on this site multiple times, and you _always_ get complimented about your looks, and it's mostly from guys. Looking a few pages into your profile messages, people are complimenting you there too. Yet it seems like these people are invisible to you. It seems to me like the opinions of guys on this site are worth much, much less to you than the opinions of guys cocky enough to walk up to you in person. And I think that's a shame.



Ricebunnyx3 said:


> But about the whole dating site thing, why don't you wait for them to say they think you're attractive.


They very very rarely do. In person, or online. I once dated a girl on OkCupid who I had nothing in common with, was not attracted to, and lived 85 miles away, entirely because she said I was hot in a message. I was _that_ captivated by her compliment, because I nearly never receive them. So when I see people who get called attractive regularly flat out ignore their compliments, it's annoying.



bwidger85 said:


> You're OK to give compliments if it isn't from a place of insecurity.


I think the mere act of complimenting a woman is what makes you seem insecure in the first place.



eveningbat said:


> By the way, I am sorry I have deleted your message. I just didn't like the avatar. Please forgive me.


I didn't even notice you had deleted it until now. You honestly found my avatar so creepy and offensive that it made you delete my message? All I said was that I liked your username because it had "bat" in it, like mine. That's literally the least threatening compliment you can give someone. I'm guessing what happened is you saw the photo I uploaded in my profile, and deemed me too unattractive to interact with.

Maybe this all boils down to what you look like. Women only want to be complimented by people they find attractive. Makes sense, right? If you're ugly, they'll be scared away.


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

dont tell the full truth, simply under exaggerate so it sounds more truthful.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Rainbat said:


> Alright, I don't mean to be a jerk, but you're one of the main people I'm talking about. I've seen you post your pictures on this site multiple times, and you _always_ get complimented about your looks, and it's mostly from guys. Looking a few pages into your profile messages, people are complimenting you there too. Yet it seems like these people are invisible to you. It seems to me like the opinions of guys on this site are worth much, much less to you than the opinions of guys cocky enough to walk up to you in person. And I think that's a shame..


It's hard to take compliments well when I have my own issues with my looks that I have to get past. Regardless of whether they're to my face or over the internet, it's hard to believe them.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Rainbat said:


> I think the mere act of complimenting a woman is what makes you seem insecure in the first place.


If it's genuine I don't see anything wrong with it. Like the poster above you said, just don't be a creepo about it


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## TheTraveler (Jan 31, 2013)

What a convo! Here is my opinion. It isn't much much eh.
I think that a woman is only as beautiful as she feels. Really hot girls don't seem that hot to me. But an "ugly" girl who walks tall and laughs is stunning. I compliment girls all the time. I mean every single one of them. But i suppose I do that because who needs to struggle with low self-esteem? Life is hard enough. I walk in a room and I can always tell one quality of each girl that I envy. From her smile to her walk to how she talk all the way down to how smart she is. I like see the good qualities in girls I need to strive for. And I will by all means mention one quality I find fascinating about them to them. All girls are pretty.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Rainbat said:


> And even this forum is a great example. You see threads all the time where girls talk about how they think they're unattractive, then when they get 50 replies from guys saying that they're cute, they'll ignore every single one of them.


50 replies?? Everyone knows that the limit is only 49. Once you go over tis magic number then you'll get placed in the creepy zone.


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

nubly said:


> 50 replies?? Everyone knows that the limit is only 49. Once you go over tis magic number then you'll get placed in the creepy zone.


I mean they get replies from many different guys and ignore them. Not all from one person.


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## TheTraveler (Jan 31, 2013)

Rainbat said:


> I mean they get replies from many different guys and ignore them. Not all from one person.


I am sure that isn't true. women can't be that mean.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Rainbat said:


> I mean they get replies from many different guys and ignore them. Not all from one person.


Doh!


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

TheTraveler said:


> I am sure that isn't true. women can't be that mean.


Just browse through the "post a pic of yourself right now" thread. You'll see girls that get complimented on their looks multiple times from different people and most go unacknowledged. They will only reply to the users on this site who are popular/attractive. It's the same nonsense you see in highschool.

It's not mean. It's just unfortunate that only the opinions of a few people matter on here.


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## TheTraveler (Jan 31, 2013)

Rainbat said:


> Just browse through the "post a pic of yourself right now" thread. You'll see girls that get complimented on their looks multiple times from different people and most go unacknowledged. They will only reply to the users on this site who are popular/attractive. It's the same nonsense you see in highschool.
> 
> It's not mean. It's just unfortunate that only the opinions of a few people matter on here.


I can see how they don't say thank you to everyone. That would spam the place up. But maybe they smile and say thanks to one but appreciates all of them?


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## VanGogh (Jan 13, 2013)

Rainbat said:


> Just browse through the "post a pic of yourself right now" thread. You'll see girls that get complimented on their looks multiple times from different people and most go unacknowledged. They will only reply to the users on this site who are popular/attractive. It's the same nonsense you see in highschool.
> 
> It's not mean. It's just unfortunate that only the opinions of a few people matter on here.


It's even more twisted than that. I'll give you an example. Girl asks a guy who she may or may not be seeing but may be interested in, "Do I look fat in these jeans?", and here are the responses and what will go on in her mind:

"No, you look great! It's crazy you're even asking, you look hot!"
She thinks: "He's only saying that to please me, he doesn't really mean it, OMG he's such a loser for saying that."

"I'm not sure, how do you think you look?"
She thinks: "OMG he's so indecisive, that's so unattractive, I've just lost some interest in him."

"Well, they're not the most flattering jeans, but they look alright on you."
She thinks: "What a jerk, why did he have to say that?"

Here's the only thing you can say:
"Yeah, you look humungous in them. How did you manage to even fit through the door? I don't think I want to be seen with you any more."
She thinks: "OMG he's so funny, that's sexy. He's obviously kidding, he knows I look perfectly hot in them. I'm going to blow him today."

That last part may or may not actually have her thinking that unless you're a guy who can pull it off. In other words, tall dark & handsome with a lot of self confidence.


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## Implicate (Feb 1, 2011)

Rainbat said:


> Just browse through the "post a pic of yourself right now" thread. You'll see girls that get complimented on their looks multiple times from different people and most go unacknowledged. They will only reply to the users on this site who are popular/attractive. It's the same nonsense you see in highschool.
> 
> It's not mean. It's just unfortunate that only the opinions of a few people matter on here.


How do you know that they don't offer thanks via PM? You know what they say about assumptions, right?


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## TheTraveler (Jan 31, 2013)

VanGogh said:


> It's even more twisted than that. I'll give you an example. Girl asks a guy who she may or may not be seeing but may be interested in, "Do I look fat in these jeans?", and here are the responses and what will go on in her mind:
> 
> "No, you look great! It's crazy you're even asking, you look hot!"
> She thinks: "He's only saying that to please me, he doesn't really mean it, OMG he's such a loser for saying that."
> ...


the hell? You on crack? or do you hang out with girls on crack?


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## vanishingpt (Mar 9, 2012)

Like one of the other posters said, it might've been how you said it that made them feel a bit strange. Sometimes I don't take compliments too well because I just don't believe the person (my self esteem fluctuates, if I feel good I'll be accepting of it but otherwise, I'll just dwell on how untrue it is lol even though that's irrational).

But yeah, compliments shouldn't hurt. Sometimes saying them will make someone's say


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

It depends on who's complimenting them.


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## my3rdmolars (Nov 23, 2012)

VanGogh said:


> "Yeah, you look humungous in them. How did you manage to even fit through the door? I don't think I want to be seen with you any more."
> She thinks: "OMG he's so funny, that's sexy. He's obviously kidding, he knows I look perfectly hot in them. I'm going to blow him today."
> 
> That last part may or may not actually have her thinking that unless you're a guy who can pull it off. In other words, tall dark & handsome with a lot of self confidence.
> ...


oh this is so funny! :clap


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

tbyrfan said:


> I see no harm in complimenting a woman. Personally, I truly appreciate compliments from men, although it is difficult for me to accept them on the outside because of my issues with my looks (and I feel bad about that because I don't want to be rude). I would never be mean to a guy or avoid them because of a compliment; at the most, I would just question if they meant it or not. I've been called ugly by guys to my face many times for years, so if a random guy ever came up to me and complimented me, I would probably die of a heart attack in utter shock. (So women really need to appreciate when they get them, because there are many of us out there that would kill to get them and not feel so ugly!)


you have the most beautiful smile i have ever seen


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

If the compliment comes from an ugly guy, he's systematically creepy. 

But anyway, I don't believe in telling a girl she's attractive. They love trying to guess if they are your type anyway, especially if you never say anything to make them believe that they are.


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

So I would like some advise how to "approach" women without giving compliments (as it seems not really advisable).... it seems kind of hard. Cause you need to have kind of a excuse to approach, like nice smile, nice hair whatever...Yup I know its better to tease and joke around etc. But how will that lead to a "date" or something more ?

Man I met women in the past already, but the difference was they already wanted to meet me too. After writing, phoning and exchanging pics with them I mean. I did not need much "convincing" them to meet up. Obviously most of them were lonely too, did not have much friends in the scene or just were open minded about meeting new people.

But today most women DO NOT want to meet me ....most have a BF or husband or children or arent interested at all. Or are lesbian, whatever... why has this changed so much over the last 10 years?


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

Nexus777 said:


> *
> But today most women DO NOT want to meet me ....most have a BF or husband or children or arent interested at all. Or are lesbian, whatever... why has this changed so much over the last 10 years?*


when you get older, the pool starts to shrink considerably. I don't know how you are, but if your 30 or close to it, this is the reason.


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

theseventhkey said:


> when you get older, the pool starts to shrink considerably. I don't know how you are, but if your 30 or close to it, this is the reason.


Well I am over 35 as a hint. Yes the pool shrinks this may be true....I was maybe fooled by the saying "a man does not get older, but more interesting"  I like to fool myself sometimes it seems. Guess htis only counts for stars like Sean Connery or George Clooney....I wish I had made more of the options I had in my 20ties or early 30ties still, but its no use to cry about the past. I am a bit depressed - this morning could have been better :mum

But I dont think its age alone, it seems women are more selective now and more "stuck up" and not so open to new people (men in my case) as in the past. It may be that most of em already have enough friends or partner(s) or they are content with being more in solitude - I dont know. This is why they dont react so positively if I try to get to know them, cause they have their hands full already with friends, partners and job...


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

Whatever you do, don't listen to the boobs.


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## TheTraveler (Jan 31, 2013)

Railroad Cancellation said:


> Whatever you do, don't listen to the boobs.


Yeah cause if you did maybe you'd get to touch them! How awful!


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## VanGogh (Jan 13, 2013)

monotonous said:


> you have the most beautiful smile i have ever seen


LOL. Anyone who doesn't know why I'm laughing about what monotonous just did isn't paying attention.


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## VanGogh (Jan 13, 2013)

TheTraveler said:


> the hell? You on crack? or do you hang out with girls on crack?


It's the closest thing to the truth most men can't handle hearing and most women who are like this will refuse to admit.


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## TheTraveler (Jan 31, 2013)

VanGogh said:


> It's the closest thing to the truth most men can't handle hearing and most women who are like this will refuse to admit.


And you who is not a woman and is spending his time on here instead of learning about women actually know what's going on? LOL!!!


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

monotonous said:


> you have the most beautiful smile i have ever seen


Oh come on man.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

TheTraveler said:


> Yeah cause if you did maybe you'd get to touch them! How awful!


*whoooosh*


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

vanishingpt said:


> But yeah, compliments shouldn't hurt. Sometimes saying them will make someone's say


Ur the most beautiful shoe I´ve ever seen


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## No Matter What (Jan 26, 2013)

*Things You Don't Know*



Rainbat said:


> Based on my experiences in person and online (forums, dating website) I've found that women are a lot less likely to respond to you or carry out a conversation if you compliment them.
> 
> Then, during one of our conversations, she starts complaining that she looks terrible in the outfit she's wearing. So I said, "You look great, I wouldn't worry about it." That's it. After that day, she sat on the other side of the lecture hall and never spoke to me again.
> 
> Why is this?


1. You can Not tell a woman not to worry. If she is worrying, you need to over compliment and make her feel like a goddess, but then you can not get rid of her. Whoever makes a woman feel really good about herself, can never get rid of them again because you are feeling an emotional void. But you need to know how to compliment. You can not talk about yourself or tell her how to feel or how not to feel. If this is not about her looks, then you can tell her the opposite when she says I feel really bad that I did such and such., tell her good you must feel terrible and laugh...because she wants to feel terrible and she wants someone who she can confess to approve of her bad behavior and bad feelings about it. Then she will start laughing. And YOU must be very confident about doing these things, if you are not, if she feels that you are faking it and saying from memory, she will hate you and never talk to you again. Because when a woman says how she is feeling , she is making herself emotionally naked to you, she becomes very vulnerable. She does not want you to talk logical and be a boyfriend, when she talk about her looks, she wants to be a daddy and make her feel like a princess, not like a w.....re you are ready to jump, even if she is dressed like that..BTW these are powerful tools , if you abuse, overuse, or misuse them, you will go to hell.
Enjoy!


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## vanishingpt (Mar 9, 2012)

Nexus777 said:


> Ur the most beautiful shoe I´ve ever seen


LOL I just saw my typo! I meant to say "make someone's *day*"
And why yes... I think I am the most beautiful shoe to have ever gone on this forum :b


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## VanGogh (Jan 13, 2013)

TheTraveler said:


> And you who is not a woman and is spending his time on here instead of learning about women actually know what's going on? LOL!!!


You don't know what I know about women. I'm here for my SA, depression and lack of relationships - not lack of experience.


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## TheTraveler (Jan 31, 2013)

VanGogh said:


> You don't know what I know about women. I'm here for my SA, depression and lack of relationships - not lack of experience.


You are online. Also, are you are girl? From your ignorance I don't think so. You insult us women by you lack of understanding. We don't give bj due to you saying we are fat etc. You know nothing! Just stop. If you are trolling then stop. I bet no girl on here is as horrid as you portray them.


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## VanGogh (Jan 13, 2013)

TheTraveler said:


> You are online. Also, are you are girl? From your ignorance I don't think so. You insult us women by you lack of understanding. We don't give bj due to you saying we are fat etc. You know nothing! Just stop. If you are trolling then stop. I bet no girl on here is as horrid as you portray them.


Your opinion is subjective and doesn't correlate with the majority to which you are not desiring to align yourself with. I've brought up before here this happens in forum topics all over the Internet - men are having a discussion describing their broad observation of women in general and women on THAT forum jump in with their subjective opinions to say "But **I'M** not like that!" Great, you are not like that, there is hope for womanhood, but this is a discussion in generalities.

Obviously you also don't understand the concept of exaggeration. Do you actually think I am believing I can read women's minds and know EXACTLY what they are saying? I'm giving an exaggerating example to get the point across. Another person in this thread just shared something equivalent but described essentially the same behavior response in a different way -- but I bet you will not see it or comment on it because it's said in a more agreeable way. But it's saying the same thing.

I'm certain if I shared the same exact observation in a different and more agreeable way, you as a woman would not object but a lot of the guys here due to their more extreme social anxiety and lack of experience with women will not grasp. So I have to give an exaggerated example.


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

Maybe they think you are hitting on them. I know I wouldn't mind a compliment but if I felt like I was being hit on, I would feel uncomfortable. Try not to be so strong.


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## VanGogh (Jan 13, 2013)

BTW, TheTraveler, if I took the time to point out carefully how something you said in this thread actually proves my point, I'm pretty sure your mind would be blown. But you wouldn't admit it afterward.


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## TheTraveler (Jan 31, 2013)

VanGogh said:


> Your opinion is subjective and doesn't correlate with the majority to which you are not desiring to align yourself with. I've brought up before here this happens in forum topics all over the Internet - men are having a discussion describing their broad observation of women in general and women on THAT forum jump in with their subjective opinions to say "But **I'M** not like that!" Great, you are not like that, there is hope for womanhood, but this is a discussion in generalities.
> 
> Obviously you also don't understand the concept of exaggeration. Do you actually think I am believing I can read women's minds and know EXACTLY what they are saying? I'm giving an exaggerating example to get the point across. Another person in this thread just shared something equivalent but described essentially the same behavior response in a different way -- but I bet you will not see it or comment on it because it's said in a more agreeable way. But it's saying the same thing.
> 
> I'm certain if I shared the same exact observation in a different and more agreeable way, you as a woman would not object but a lot of the guys here due to their more extreme social anxiety and lack of experience with women will not grasp. So I have to give an exaggerated example.


No I don't. And I am saying the exaggeration is ridiculous. Be reasonable here. No most women aren't like that. I am talking about seeing women be complimented and seeing their reaction. I have seen tons of women be complimented and they smile, say thank you or flatter them back. I have never seen or heard of a woman being mean to a guy due to a compliment or a woman wanting to be intimate with a guy after he has insulted her. I am talking multicultural as well. I am not limiting myself to high school in America.


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## TheTraveler (Jan 31, 2013)

VanGogh said:


> BTW, TheTraveler, if I took the time to point out carefully how something you said in this thread actually proves my point, I'm pretty sure your mind would be blown. But you wouldn't admit it afterward.


try me. I am a reasonable person. But I happen to just not agree on how you portray a womans thought process.


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## creasy (Oct 29, 2012)

If a girl isn't good friends with you, she'll usually think you're just trying to get in her pants. Which may actually work in your favor, depending on how attracted she is to you and how smooth you come across. Compliments typically don't do either party a big favor though, especially when thrown around for no good reason, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be polite and caring. Teasing is a great tool in moderation, but keep it playful and let her know you're capable of serious conversation and considerate of her feelings.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

I complimented a coworker with, "Your outfit looks great. You always look good and have a way with clothes." It was genuine.

A few weeks later I said, "Hey sweetheart. You got THE ***!" It was also genuine.

You just have to know how respected you are by the woman before getting into it.


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

Ever since I gained a lot of confidence in myself, I'm less inclined to give compliments to women. I used to be very insecure and would happily debase myself in front of a women to compliment her, so I guess I'm afraid of going back to being that kind of a person. If a girl calls herself ugly or something, I'll just say something like "No you're not" and nothing more. 

I don't mind giving compliments that much on here, probably because there's a kind of anonymity to what I say. However, it's mostly just "You're pretty". Also, it gives me an excuse to post amusing pictures of cats giving pick up lines. But whenever I see guys saying that their girlfriend is "SO BEAUTIFUL" on Facebook, I chuckle a little. 

However, I wouldn't say that guys complimenting girls is a definite sign of weakness or anything. Especially if one genuinely likes the other. Unless it's really going over the top.


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## VanGogh (Jan 13, 2013)

TheTraveler said:


> No I don't. And I am saying the exaggeration is ridiculous. Be reasonable here. No most women aren't like that.


They are, actually.



TheTraveler said:


> I am talking about seeing women be complimented and seeing their reaction. I have seen tons of women be complimented and they smile, say thank you or flatter them back.


And that's where it ends.



TheTraveler said:


> I have never seen or heard of a woman being mean to a guy due to a compliment


Then you don't have the experience of a guy.



TheTraveler said:


> or a woman wanting to be intimate with a guy after he has insulted her.


If you read my last example as an insult then it went over your head. It's an obvious humoring taunt. Who says that unless they're obviously joking with the woman? That little misunderstanding clearly had you completely misinterpreting the point I was making.



TheTraveler said:


> am talking multicultural as well. I am not limiting myself to high school in America.


Neither was I.


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## VanGogh (Jan 13, 2013)

TheTraveler said:


> try me. I am a reasonable person. But I happen to just not agree on how you portray a womans thought process.


I'll just take one sentence you stated earlier in this thread:

"I think that a woman is only as beautiful as she feels."

Right. Often when a woman speaks her mind about something tied to her esteem over how she looks, the mistake is to not match her own feelings about it because she will NOT think what is being said is genuine.

Let's make a fanciful analogy: Let's say life is a map and you're a guy on a certain street in one part of town called "WantHappiness Road" and the woman you're interested in is on another street on the other side of town called "Insecure St". Let's also say that your goal is to get you both to a third part of town called "BothOfUsAreHappy Club". Let's say that it's pointless to be on your street because she isn't coming to you on her own, and it's pointless to expect her to meet you at "BothOfUsAreHappy Club" because she has no transportation of her own to get there. You have no choice, none at all as a man, to accomplish getting her from where she is to where you want to take both of you unless you meet her at her her location first. You can't meet her at "ImConfident Ave", you can't meet her at "ImAHottie Lane", she's at "Insecure St" and you have to BOTH acknowledge where she's at AND make her feel better without contradicting how she feels. So you MATCH what she's feeling about herself so she can see you pull up with your car to get her and you use HUMOR to turn how she feels into a good feeling. Then she will get in your car and you can both successfully make it to "BothOfUsAreHappy Club".

Now go back and read the exaggerated post I made and feel your mind being blown. I know you won't admit it, I'm pretty sure you may even argue about this further, but I'll feel fine about it either way. What I described above will do more to help guys get an inkling of what's going on to at least move ahead with women as far as "compliments" go even if I can't necessarily be the guy to give advice on how to get into a long term relationship with a woman.


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## TheTraveler (Jan 31, 2013)

VanGogh said:


> I'll just take one sentence you stated earlier in this thread:
> 
> "I think that a woman is only as beautiful as she feels."
> 
> ...


tldr


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## TheTraveler (Jan 31, 2013)

VanGogh said:


> I'll just take one sentence you stated earlier in this thread:
> 
> "I think that a woman is only as beautiful as she feels."
> 
> ...


That doesn't mean you shouldn't give a genuine compliment! She will appreciate it but not necessarily agree with it. A very common one is where the girls feels ugly or whatever and the guy say no you aren't, I love how you look. That is genuine she will smile and appreciate it but she isn't forced to agree with you.
I don't imagine i will ever think that you have to match a girls feelings. I think you should compliment girls or boys no matter how they feel or if they will agree with you. Whether they agree or not they will welcome it. That is my point. I am done with this since you lack understanding to see what I am saying and possibly I don't get you. That is highly possible. But from my view you are wrong. Done.


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## No Matter What (Jan 26, 2013)

*..and more to your story..*



VanGogh said:


> I'll just take one sentence you stated earlier in this thread:
> 
> "I think that a woman is only as beautiful as she feels."
> 
> ...


After all tag work...most of the stories end in:
Let'sBEmiserableTogether and TurnOURCHILDRENtotherapy Ln unless you as a man who put all this effort in continue making her feel like the One the Universe turns around..... And there is more and more to this story..

But there is a way...


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## polkaspot (Oct 30, 2012)

It really depends on the woman. Most of my friends love it when they receive compliments, but generally when a guy compliments them they assume they're being hit on. So if they aren't interested in the guy, they'll avoid him in order to avoid that situation. If they like the guy or if he's a really good friend, though, they love compliments.

I'm extremely suspicious of compliments and would rather I didn't receive them. I always assume that the person complimenting me doesn't mean it and that they just want to give me a self-esteem boost because I so obviously need one. Compliments make me feel worse about myself, so if I know someone will likely compliment me I'll avoid them. Case in point, a few weeks ago a guy I'm interested in complimented the way I looked. I hastily said "thanks" and quickly left because I had no idea how to respond. I haven't spoken to him since because the situation made me so uncomfortable.


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## Jay-Son (Dec 18, 2008)

I love this topic and it is a good question.


A girl with SA, I would be scared to compliment to be honest, and some of these replies I read confirm it. 

However I think most girls would enjoy a compliment, if they don't c'est la vie. You can also give a compliment to gauge how she feels towards you (i.e, is she attracted to you?).

I enjoy compliments when i feel they are genuine. I don't white lie myself much. I see the good in others, i just wish i could give compliments but damn something about anxiety holds me back. I feel i come off as desperate when giving compliments as if I am brown nosing I suppose but i would love to make others feel good with a compliment. This is a work in progress for now but I would like to slowly extract compliments from myself to provide to others.


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## No Matter What (Jan 26, 2013)

*Because you are light*



Jay-Son said:


> I love this topic and it is a good question.
> 
> A girl with SA, I would be scared to compliment to be honest, and some of these replies I read confirm it.
> 
> ...


..because you do not lie, and you are a positive person..most girls do not like that..because the female form attracts and engages with dark forces and they are not too comfortable with positivity...in their humanness, they are busy talking down on themselves in their mind and there is too much they are trying too hide.. That's why there is a lot of low self esteem no matter how they look and discomfort with genuine positive remarks.. But fake flirtatious compliments would make them comfortable because the Evil forces want them to believe in LIES..so that they can be miserable later on and make everyone's lives miserable. This does not make women/ girls EVIL but it makes them very susceptible to DARK side..and ones they see the power, they start falling more and more in the traps of the darkness. Men on the other hand can save themselves easier if they stay true to their ESSENCE of goodness.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

No Matter What said:


> ..because you do not lie, and you are a positive person..most girls do not like that..because the female form attracts and engages with dark forces and they are not too comfortable with positivity...in their humanness, they are busy talking down on themselves in their mind and there is too much they are trying too hide.. That's why there is a lot of low self esteem no matter how they look and discomfort with genuine positive remarks.. *But fake flirtatious compliments would make them comfortable because the Evil forces want them to believe in LIES..so that they can be miserable later on and make everyone's lives miserable. This does not make women/ girls EVIL but it makes them very susceptible to DARK side..and ones they see the power, they start falling more and more in the traps of the darkness. Men on the other hand can save themselves easier if they stay true to their ESSENCE of goodness*.


:lol, instant classic response


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## No Matter What (Jan 26, 2013)

theseventhkey said:


> :lol, instant classic response


God loves you no matter what.:yes


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

No Matter What said:


> But fake flirtatious compliments would make them comfortable because the Evil forces want them to believe in LIES..so that they can be miserable later on and make everyone's lives miserable. This does not make women/ girls EVIL but it makes them very susceptible to DARK side..and ones they see the power, they start falling more and more in the traps of the darkness. Men on the other hand can save themselves easier if they stay true to their ESSENCE of goodness.


You must learn the ways of the Force, if you're to come with me to Alderaan.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

VanGogh said:


> They are, actually.
> 
> And that's where it ends.
> 
> ...


Awww, you're just a sad little puppy aren't you. No one's thrown you a bone?


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## No Matter What (Jan 26, 2013)

Rixy said:


> You must learn the ways of the Force, if you're to come with me to Alderaan.


..not only one planet...Alderaan .....Interplanetary....multi dimensional....working for ONE, loving everyone.....having interesting time...


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## VanGogh (Jan 13, 2013)

diamondheart89 said:


> Awww, you're just a sad little puppy aren't you. No one's thrown you a bone?


Not sure if you're being friendly or taunting, but I'll take it as a show of kindness.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

VanGogh said:


> Not sure if you're being friendly or taunting, but I'll take it as a show of kindness.


A little bit of both. I'm whimsical like that.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

No Matter What said:


> God loves you no matter what.:yes


God loves me? lol, if he loved me, why did he allow me to be born?


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

VanGogh said:


> Not sure if you're being friendly or taunting, but I'll take it as a show of kindness.


Don't. She's insulting you.


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## Thinkerbell (Jul 8, 2012)

I used to not mind...then as I got older I realized that compliments=flirting. And I don't want to flirt with a guy I'm not interested in romantically. I also stopped complimenting males so they don't assume I'm interested in them. It's a shame men have to be like that.


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## No Matter What (Jan 26, 2013)

*Do you know what...*



theseventhkey said:


> God loves me? lol, if he loved me, why did he allow me to be born?


..because without YOU, I could Not be having this awesome conversation.:yes


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## No Matter What (Jan 26, 2013)

*There are many ways to look at things*



Rainbat said:


> Don't. She's insulting you.


A spit to your face can not be an insult to you but to the spitter if you are graceful about it. Whereas if I compliment you, most probably you would take it as an insult...such as .."why are you so beautiful?"


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## Cyclonic (Oct 25, 2012)

I'm terrified that a compliment will come off as creepy to a woman. Even if I want to compliment her, I avoid doing so just to avoid any potential embarrassment.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

No Matter What said:


> ..because without YOU, I could Not be having this awesome conversation.:yes


He's torturing me with this "awesome" conversation, I what I did to deserve this damnation is beyond me. :yes


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## No Matter What (Jan 26, 2013)

*Stop It!!!*



theseventhkey said:


> He's torturing me with this "awesome" conversation, I what I did to deserve this damnation is beyond me. :yes


Apparently, you love being tortured this way..

If you knew what TORTURED really meant you would start being very grateful and everything would stats changing. Don't be afraid to laugh..Well, you did make me laugh!


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## VanGogh (Jan 13, 2013)

Rainbat said:


> Don't. She's insulting you.


Insults? From a woman? They could NEVER be so mean...

Some poetry I found for this thread:

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/her-bum/


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

No Matter What said:


> Apparently, you love being tortured this way..
> 
> If you knew what TORTURED really meant you would start being very grateful and everything would stats changing. Don't be afraid to laugh..Well, you did make me laugh!


I did laugh, then you had to ruin it by saying "god loves me".


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