# Can't make connections with people?



## CHUGCOFFEE (May 21, 2013)

It seems that I can't connect with people at all. The only time I ever remember having a genuine connection with someone was in 5th grade and the friendship lasted a year. I just keep having the feeling like I will never be able to have any really good friends because I can't make good connections and it scares the living daylights out of me. I want to be able to... I just fail at it. Any advice? Anyone with the same problem?


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## Sky High (Aug 26, 2013)

It's hard for me as well... Mostly because most people just don't interest me that much. I've found that it's much easier for me to build a connection with people I'm actually interested in. They don't have to be living a great life or anything, but if they're doing something with their lives I'm curious about or if we share interests, it's much easier. It helps taking a sincere interest in people, but that's not easy for everyone. Read "How to Win Friends and Influence People", it's great on that topic.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

In your youth, friendships can be fleeting... That much is expected. You're lucky if you can find *one* good friend, and really, same goes for the rest of your life.

You just have to keep at it - keep trying to find someone you _really_ connect with. It's a rare thing (even for the most extroverted of people), so hold onto it when it happens.


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## Matthew987 (Feb 4, 2013)

I know what you mean. I want to make friends and socialise but I never seem to make any friends. I talk to people but I cant get past small talk to actually socialising with them. Maybe its because I don't meet enough people. are maybe my shyness puts people off.


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## Scarlett0 (Jul 15, 2013)

Ugh same....I can make small talk and be friendly but it's definitely hard to get to the point of "hanging out" and becoming actual friends :/ 

And then after a certain point it sounds like me just making the effort and asking questions and then it dies down. Usually happens when I talk to girls. 
But then it's easier if I talk to guys, especially if they're interested since they'll make an effort to talk to me. But then a lot of times they want to date rather than be friends so it's disappointing. I haven't made an actual hang out friend in a while. 

I think it'd be nice to meet someone who has a similar problem. I'm hoping to go to one of those social anxiety meet ups and meet people. Maybe it'll be a good idea for you too. You'll definitely connect with someone.


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## Cadenza (Aug 30, 2013)

I know what you mean, OP.

The initial 'getting-to-know-each-other' phase is fine, but after that, I think I scare people off for some reason.
It's really irritating and it's hard to make real friends this way.


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## droen (Jul 27, 2010)

It's rare for me to make a good connection with another person. Even when I do, it is lacking. As far as I know I have always been like this since I was a child. I never really made a real connection with my family at all. I've had better luck outside of my family but not a whole lot.

I don't know the extent of this problem for you, but I've been curious about it for a long time. I'm thinking my difficulty connecting with people is due to Asperger's Syndrome. I don't know though. It's just a thought for now, but it seems to fit with all trouble I've had with connecting with people.


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## inerameia (Jan 26, 2012)

I can't seem to relate with most people. I don't if it's my personality or my SA or insecurity or what. Maybe I need to change how I relate with people.


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## HanSolo (Jul 5, 2013)

I really connect with pretty girls I like, but I hardly meet any, and they usually don't want to connect back.


but yeah I don't connect with others much, and don't want to connect with guys.

I try to connect with other girls sometimes, but the last 2...it was all 1 way, they never talked back to me or asked me stuff, so thats no connection


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