# Questions for all the females..guys can comment as well



## Shauna (Jul 29, 2006)

If a complete stranger approached you on the street and offered you money(lets say anywhere between $100 to $1,000 dollars) if you would sleep wih him...what would you do? 

This is if you were really desperate for money,unemployed and needed the money bad. A condom would also be involved. Plus you're a virgin and never even had sex before. 

What would you do..be honest. 

Reason why i'm asking is being this happen to me today, and i'm wondering what i should do. I do have common sense, and i know i shouldn't even be considering doing this, but I have no self-esteem or self-worth at the moment and i need money. I know i will lose my self-respect though..and i don't want to loose that. I would feel awful...but i really need the money for a down payment on a car. I'm soo ashamed and confused :sigh 

*you can read my journal and get more insight in what happen today* I feel soo cheap right now.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

I'm not a female but I just read your journal and I have to say MY LORD . . . why did you get in the car with a stranger?!? That's the most dangerous thing you could do! I can't believe someone would do that in this day and age. My advice to you is to completely forget this day ever happened and if that guy ever approaches you again you should call the cops immediately.


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## Shauna (Jul 29, 2006)

I know what i did was stupid and retarded, but i was tired of walking and its kinda hot out here today. I took my chances and thank god nothing happened. Now this fool will be here tonight with cash in hand.


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

Shauna said:


> I know what i did was stupid and retarded, but i was tired of walking and its kinda hot out here today. I took my chances and thank god nothing happened. Now this fool will be here tonight with cash in hand.


If I were you, I'd stay away from that guy. I'll just say that I've done similarly stupid things in my dark and checkered past and... lesson learned, I don't take rides from strangers, I don't take anything in return for sex.

Nothing bad may happen but this might encourage you to do this more and that, I promise will come to no good. Trust me, I've been there.


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## Disintegrate (Jun 28, 2006)

> I know i will lose my self-respect though..and i don't want to loose that.


There's your answer. Not having money is much easier to deal with than losing your self-respect, IMO.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

So he said he's coming to your apartment? Hopefully he was kidding. Have you considered calling the cops? I don't know if he's done or said anything yet that would warrant calling the cops, but you should either not be at home or you should lock and bolt your door and when he knocks or buzzes you have to tell him through the door or over the intercom that you made a mistake and you want him to leave. Perhaps threaten to call the cops. If he gets weird then just have your phone in hand and call the cops. If you have any male friends be sure to have them over. And talk about this to someone who isn't online, someone you know -- anyone. Don't just take advice from someone on a message board; get advice from someone who knows you.


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## Shauna (Jul 29, 2006)

leppardess said:


> Shauna said:
> 
> 
> > I know what i did was stupid and retarded, but i was tired of walking and its kinda hot out here today. I took my chances and thank god nothing happened. Now this fool will be here tonight with cash in hand.
> ...


What have you done in the past that you regret? I wish would go further into detail. if you don't want to then thats fine.


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## Shauna (Jul 29, 2006)

*Re: re: Questions for all the females..guys can comment as w*



Disintegrate said:


> > I know i will lose my self-respect though..and i don't want to loose that.
> 
> 
> There's your answer. Not having money is much easier to deal with than losing your self-respect, IMO.


Why is there a such thing as self-respect..ughh. Some people have no choice at times. I need money really bad. Looking for jobs is becoming to hard for me and i'm not geting any results. I guess i gotta be patient...which isn't one of my greatest strengthes.

I just need prayer or something :sigh


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## Shauna (Jul 29, 2006)

*Re: re: Questions for all the females..guys can comment as w*



IcedOver said:


> So he said he's coming to your apartment? Hopefully he was kidding. Have you considered calling the cops? I don't know if he's done or said anything yet that would warrant calling the cops, but you should either not be at home or you should lock and bolt your door and when he knocks or buzzes you have to tell him through the door or over the intercom that you made a mistake and you want him to leave. Perhaps threaten to call the cops. If he gets weird then just have your phone in hand and call the cops. If you have any male friends be sure to have them over. And talk about this to someone who isn't online, someone you know -- anyone. Don't just take advice from someone on a message board; get advice from someone who knows you.


I will take your advice to heart. Maybe he was kidding about coming over tonight, but i don't think he was. He said after he cashes his check..he is coming over :afr Dammit i strewed up bad. If i call the cops..the Housing Authority up here will find out and mit kick me out. I will definetly be strewed then...in more ways than one. We don't even suppose to have visitors up here after 11:00pm.


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

*Re: re: Questions for all the females..guys can comment as w*



Shauna said:


> IcedOver said:
> 
> 
> > So he said he's coming to your apartment? Hopefully he was kidding. Have you considered calling the cops? I don't know if he's done or said anything yet that would warrant calling the cops, but you should either not be at home or you should lock and bolt your door and when he knocks or buzzes you have to tell him through the door or over the intercom that you made a mistake and you want him to leave. Perhaps threaten to call the cops. If he gets weird then just have your phone in hand and call the cops. If you have any male friends be sure to have them over. And talk about this to someone who isn't online, someone you know -- anyone. Don't just take advice from someone on a message board; get advice from someone who knows you.
> ...


Yes, please take his advice and STAY SAFE!!! Your safety and self worth is more important than the little money that you could get from doing what you were going to do :hug


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## embers (Dec 19, 2006)

> If a complete stranger approached you on the street and offered you money(lets say anywhere between $100 to $1,000 dollars) if you would sleep wih him...what would you do?


I'd have to say at this point in my life no. There was a time when I was down and out financially, and internet dated, and just sort of played around with the idea. Guys are so hard up sometimes, why not get paid for it?? I even went as far as to offer myself for some money, explaining my situation, and every one of the guys was all for it. I just didn't go through with it.

When you are financially in the dumps, survival mode sort of takes the place of reason, so I understand where you're at. Just always try and remember, you will have to live with this, and also remember all situations are not permanent. As for him coming over, i'd have to agree with the other ladies and no way jose do you let him in!!!!!

edit to say after reading your journal, definitely call the cops if you see him around your place so you can get him on record for harrassment immediately.


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## Shauna (Jul 29, 2006)

*Re: re: Questions for all the females..guys can comment as w*



embers said:


> I'd have to say at this point in my life no. There was a time when I was down and out financially, and internet dated, and just sort of played around with the idea. Guys are so hard up sometimes, why not get paid for it?? I even went as far as to offer myself for some money, explaining my situation, and every one of the guys was all for it. I just didn't go through with it.
> 
> When you are financially in the dumps, survival mode sort of takes the place of reason, so I understand where you're at.


Yeah...i very much understand where you are coming from. I hate to admit it but i have been doing the same thing for a couple of weeks online. Trying to find lonely desperate guys to spend some money :hide ALSO.. I've probaly filled out about 6 to 10 job applications last and this week alone..still nothing. Everytime i call to check on my application..i always get the runaround. They always will say that they havent had time to review it yet and all sorts of crap like that. They will tell you they will get back in contact with you, but never call. Everytime the phone rings..i'm hoping its somebody calling me in for an interview. Whats funny is that when you walk in the store and fill out the application they be all happy and nice..making it seem like they gone hire you. I bet as soon as you leave out the door they throw your application in the trash :mum I'm trying my *** off with no success. I guess i gotta start taking these workforce classes next week..because I AM geting desperate for cash and independence. I'm at the point where i will do anything for money and i hate that i've reached this point. I have to fight off that urge to sell myself...its just not right. I see why there are soo many pornstars and prostitutes out there. Its a sad reality. I can't really blame anybody but this economy is f*cked up. Bush need to get out of office quick.

Dammit...i regret everyday of my life that i didn't try to get a job when i was in high school..i would have had some experience...i also coulda saved up some damn money. I'm just frustrated. I hope somebody offers me a job soon, because like i said i'm geting desperate. Wal-mart wouldn't even hire me. Thats just pitiful.


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## jane (Jan 30, 2006)

A (supposed) Churchill anectode: 

Churchill: Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds? 
Socialite: My goodness, Mr. Churchill... Well, I suppose... we would have to discuss terms, of course... 
Churchill: Would you sleep with me for five pounds? 
Socialite: Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?! 
Churchill: Madam, we've already established that. Now we are haggling about the price.


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## Shauna (Jul 29, 2006)

*Re: re: Questions for all the females..guys can comment as w*



jane said:


> A (supposed) Churchill anectode:
> 
> Churchill: Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?
> Socialite: My goodness, Mr. Churchill... Well, I suppose... we would have to discuss terms, of course...
> ...


 :get :lol


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

Hey Shauna, do you live in affordable housing or something, or with your parents? I'm just kind of curious about your living situation. 

Well, if some decent looking older woman offered me money for sex, then hell's yeah. I'm horny. I hump my bed. I'm 24. I'm supposed to be having sex, spreading my seed, according to nature. No shame. No prudency. No guilt. Sex isn't as complicated as it's made out to be. I just don't get to have any. I would love to become skilled in going down on a girl. That is a good thing to know in life! Instead it's just me and my hand. I'm tired of my hand.

But having sex with guys that pick you up in their cars is kind of wacked out. Don't do that one. You never know. 

I'm sure you can go work at Taco Bell or something if you are desperate enough. I have gone there and it's taken 5 minutes just go get my order done. I don't mind it, though. It could me be at the register. I just live in a comfortable enough situation (at least for now) that I don't have to go out and get a job like that. One day I just may have to. Anyway, there is always something you can do before you go out and sell your body.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

That guy sounds like a disgusting prick; I would stay away if I were you. If you let him into your home, there's no telling what he would do. He's already exposed himself to you, even after you firmly told him no. And then said he's coming over later to pay you for sex, still ignoring the fact that you flat out told him no. He seems like he would have absolutely no moral objections to raping you, so please be careful.


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

How does he even know where you live?

Anyway, I agree with everyone else that you shouldn't even answer the door (or maybe not be at home tonight). Then he might come back tomorrow night or something...

I guess we now know why there are so many naked girls on-line now, if all it takes is a few hundred dollars to get them to do anything. But I would think the long term mental health problems wouldn't be worth the little bit of money today. For me, I know that there are plenty of escorts and prostitutes I could afford, but I would always have the memory that I paid someone for the first time I had sex. They didn't love me, but if I do find a girl in the future and discuss our sexual history, how would I explain that?


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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

Hi Shauna, I read your journal. Wow, I can't believe you got in the car! Thank goodness nothing bad happened to you. I was offered a ride like that once and had to run in the opposite direction. My advice would be to not answer the door and call the cops... but maybe you should talk to someone you know and trust about the situation. 

To answer your initial question, under the circumstances you outlined I would generally say no. If it were someone I was flirting with and it seemed safe then maybe I'd consider (heh, I can't believe I said that). It ties in with self respect and asking yourself whether or not you'll be able to keep that after your decision. With the scenerio in your journal then the answer is a flat out no. I think with women it's a little different with the double standard of being considered a prostitute as oppose to if a male did the same thing.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

After initially reading your post, it didn't seem that big of a deal.

But then I read your journal, and Holy S!!!. You should be calling the cops right about now, not considering actually doing it. Seriously, it sounded like you came extremely close to being raped, etc. By the way this guy was speaking to you, he sounds very dangerous.

You should buy some mace and carry it with you everywhere you go. There is no knowing what this guy might try to pull.


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## embers (Dec 19, 2006)

> I guess i gotta start taking these workforce classes next week..because I AM geting desperate for cash and independence.


I've never heard of those kinds of classes but thats probably the better alternative to selling your body. They also have short-stint schooling like for CNA's or bartending, food handling, just to get your foot in the door for something better down the line. Getting a loan for school is easy.


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## Shauna (Jul 29, 2006)

..


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## Shauna (Jul 29, 2006)

*Re: re: Questions for all the females..guys can comment as w*

...


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## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

I agree with what everyone said about not hooking with that guy. I don't have any real moral problems with sex, but after reading your blog, that guy sounds like scum.

I remember one time I was driving at night, and there was a concert that just ended. These 3 girls were waving at cars in a traffic jam trying to get a ride. The driver in front of me denied them....then they came to me....I thought the girl looked cute so I was like "yeah, sure it's just 5 minutes away". They were about my age. My conversation skills really sucked back then but it was good enough for me to seem normal. What was funny was that the girl I recognized as this girl I tried chatting on the internet before, but she didn't reply my messages. What are the odds of that I would bump into her like that? I was contemplating telling her that, but I didn't want to creep her out so I didn't. At the end of the ride, the girl gave me money for driving her. 
Another time I saw this homeless girl standing around traffic trying to hitch a ride. I contemplated picking her up but I didn't....cuz her clothes looked dirty. I wondered where I would take her if I did. McDonalds? Maybe McDonalds would seem good to her. I'd order her a happy meal. ba da ba ba ba...i'm luvin it


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## Shauna (Jul 29, 2006)

...


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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

Shauna said:


> One of the jobs i applied for this week is an overnight Security Guard position on 3rd shift from 11pm to 7 am. This would be great for my loner personality. I hope i get it. Please pray for me. I know this will be the most boring job ever, but at least i will have a job. The pay is 9.50-10.50/hr..depending. I really hope i get this.


 Yeah, I thought of doing security for awhile. From what I hear it's extremely boring. Anyway, good luck.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Interesting. I once knew a woman who e-mailed me a most interesting proposal one night when she was feeling desperate for money. The offer was that I could do anything to her over her one week of vacation for $5,000. This included any form of sexual activity & very harsh S&M play. Of course, this was someone I knew, liked, and had already done similar things to (for FREE). This wasn't a stranger.

She took the offer back by morning before I had a chance to respond to it. The next time I saw her she felt really embarrassed about making such an offer.

It interesting what people will do for money.


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## treksalot (Mar 9, 2007)

I hope you get the job. I'm crossing my fingers for you.
I know its been said, but I wouldn't do it. My life would change so much and everything that I've accomplished with my self-esteem and sense of who i am would be completely destroyed. I don't think i would ever be the same after that or be able to have a relationship b/c of the shame of it all and the guilt would probably knaw at me forever, and the possiblility of being pregnant with that guy as the father,ew...bleh guys don't have to worry about that. plus tons of other reasons... That guy is sick.
oh! how about working at a nursing home?


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## Your Lover Scrub Ducky (Jul 26, 2004)

Shauna, I'm sorry for the situation you're in. Sounds really tough. But this is not an option, what the hell are you thinking? Stay away from that freak.



> My father is a unemployed drug addict..who has to have his ex-wife take care of him. He's never shown me any love or affection in my life. Thats what i soo desperatly wanted from him. Girls need their fathers.


I'm sorry  :squeeze



> I guess i'm trying to get love thru sex. Men make me feel loved and wanted no matter how digusting most of them are. I need fatherly presence in my life...even if i am being used.


 There are guys out there who would like you for you...I can't believe you are willing to allow yourself to be used for a false sense of love. :no You deserve better than that, c'mon. 
You're heading down the wrong path. If you keep going down it you're eventually going to loose yourself one way or another. I believe you can make it without selling yourself or dealing with dangerous people, and you can still be the person you wanna be.

I hope I dont seem too harsh. Its just that I have a younger sister who has had problems with creeps like that before, so guys like that _really_ piss me off. Luckily, she has me, my dad, my cousins, etc to watch out for her and get them off her back. If a guy did that to my sister and was stalking her, I'd get my bat and turn him into an unrecognizable mess on the sidewalk. But it seems like you have no one  And these ****s only go for the easiest targets. :bah



> You should buy some mace and carry it with you everywhere you go. There is no knowing what this guy might try to pull.


 :agree

Goodluck on getting the job Shauna :squeeze


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## justlistening (Dec 4, 2006)

Shauna said:


> I eventually want to put her in a group home(despite my grandmother wishes)


I'm sure your grandmother also wished that you would live your life and reach your goals.

And like you said, you would probably be a great nurse!


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## Shauna (Jul 29, 2006)

*Re: re: Questions for all the females..guys can comment as w*

....


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## Shauna (Jul 29, 2006)

Scrub Ducky said:


> Shauna, I'm sorry for the situation you're in. Sounds really tough. But this is not an option, what the hell are you thinking?


I am broke and frustrated...you are not in your right mind when you're broke!!! Its like somebody who is sexually frustrated...somebody who hasn't had sex in about 2 years. They become desperate and willing to do anything to get some :lol


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

Hey Shauna, I hope things turn out okay for you. 

I have to say, I understand what you said about going to college. I wouldn't necessarily say you aren't smart enough to go to college. I just think that some people don't have that kind of intellectual motivation and patience. I sure as hell don't want to sit in classes..... ever. My attention span is way off. 

Your situation is pretty rough. You are too young to be taking care of her. You haven't even really had much a of a chance to live your life. So, don't feel bad about putting her in a home. I've seen people with things dumped on them before like this, and they are always the most sincere, kind people. 

I'm unsure about what jobs I can get. I honestly don't want to work that hard, but mainly not that long. I am used to working less than half a day. I like to have my space. The idea of being a wage-slave is very frightening to me. I hate authority figures, bureaucracy, being corrected, being checked on, etc. I've had the same job for over 6 years and I can't imagine going to work a real full-time job with strangers. 

I understand your desperation and would not judge you for what you do, even if I didn't agree with it. I've done some desperate things myself, although not sexual, here and there. Money controls everything. It's simply not fair if you are on the bottom. Like ODUN has said, you can't always just "pull yourself up by the bootstraps". I totally understand your perspective.

Good luck


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## Shauna (Jul 29, 2006)

Eventhough i don't want to go to college...i still have the desire to at least try it one day. I want a degree in Medical Information Technology OR anything involving computers. I wanna go to a technical college where i can just go and take classes....i don't wanna attend a huge University or anything. I wouldn't make it. The experience would remind me of high school all over again. It would be like Deja vu. I mit end up being the female Cho or something. I don't want that. lol. *not funny*

I have soo many things that i want to accomplish, but i just can't seem to catch a break. 

First thing i want is a good paying job...a nice car..i wanna keep this apartment and fix it up better...Once i get settled into a job and start making a steady income...i wanna start taking classes to earn a degree like i said above..then hopefully i can have a career not just a job. I then will be able to afford a home with a pool in the back. I've always wanted this. I just wanna work on bettering myself in all areas. My SA,self-esteem,self-image,self-love,self-worth,communication skills,social skills...everything. If i can improve all of these things...i think i mit want to meet and guy and get married(WOW..i just said the M word!!!) I just need to do some serious soul searching and i wanna get closer to God. Right now i'm kinda on the Agonist side of things. I don't know what or who to believe in. I need a mentor or something. This is where my Aunt came in. If she was here...i wouldn't have these burdens. She would be helping and guiding me. I remember when she was dying...i asked her if she would be watching over me and i asked her if she would be my guardian angel and have wings or something like that(i was young ok). I just remember laying down beside her and she said that she would always be with me and will always love me. I just don't feel like she has been with me though. Its like she just left me alone with nobody. I dont know. 

..Ok moving on... 

Don't laugh but, I also have dreams of having my own business. I wanna have a online business selling all types of stuff....i want my own website and everything. I wanna buy from wholesales and then re-sell the stuff on my site. You gotta be smart to start your own business and i'm scared i will fail....but its still a dream of mine. I also wanna learn about investing in stocks. There is soo much i wanna do. I just feel alot of pressure on me to succeed and actually be somebody in this world. Life is like a huge weight on my shoulders right now and it shouldnt be this way. I feel like i am carrying around a ton of bricks in my stomach. Ugh! I dont wanna be 30yrs old still living and feeling like this. I will have to kill myself before i even reach 30. 

I just wanna be happy and successfull in whatever i'm doing. If i keep failing at everything all the time, then its just not meant to be...i just won't and can't fight any longer. I hope i can get it together. I pray that that phone rings with a job offer soon..and if i do get hired somewhere...i hope my SA dont rear its ugly head again and ruin things. 

But..i appreciate all of the responces from you guys...really made me think. This board is soo safe for me. Its the only thing i have right now. If this board didn't exist...i would probaly be dead right now because i've always though that i was the only one with all these problems. I know i'm not alone and i can find comfort in knowing that :hug


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

if your thinking about turning into a prostitute you need to seek help with your self esteem


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

You need some support. Perhaps a social network made up of sa buddies. What state do you live in? If you'd rather not say it on the boards then I suggest looking at people on here and where they are located and trying to meet up in person with them. I know sa maybe be painful, hard but don't give up on life. It may sound hard right now. But try to see the good. Even if it requires looking past the human element. Look to nature the trees birds etc. Do you have any streams, rivers, lakes ocean near you? Do you have any wildlife hiking areas where you can walk on trails and just admire nature? 

I wish you the best and a brighter future. And I hope there are some local sas members relatively close to you.


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## aviator99 (Nov 23, 2006)

> After i got done shopping..i saw his car in the parking lot. I pretended like i didn't see him. I called the cab..they came and he followed the cab in his car. I saw him thru the rearview mirror. When the cab got me home he stoped at the edge of the driveway to see what apartment i was going into. So he knows where i live. He pulled off when i got into the house and shot the door.


Oh man this person sounds extremely dangerous. Be VERY careful and watch your back, at least for the next couple weeks.


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## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

Shauna,

:hug 

I think that once you let someone like that in there is no telling what he will do to you.

And how do you know that he will pay you afterwards? What guarantees do you have? None.

Don't do this. It's very dangerous.

I haven't read every post in this thread but just wanna say that you have had it really tough so now don't shoot yourself in the foot at the last hurdle. You WILL find a job and things WILL get better. :hug 

Oh, and isn't Paris Hilton the one who's going to prison? :lol 

Lisa


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