# I'm becoming a bad person...



## cwb (Aug 7, 2006)

1


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## TheContrary (May 2, 2006)

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## Mazza (Oct 22, 2005)

Masterbation is so much cheaper. You could save so much money that way and give it to charity. Would a bad person do that? I don't think so.


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## Becky (Nov 5, 2003)

If it makes you feel like crap then quit doing it.


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## Rindy (Aug 11, 2004)

Going to a strip club doesn't make you a bad person. As far as you using them...think about it. They are making money off of you! Who's using who? Not all strippers/prostitutes were sexually abused, and they made the choice to do what they're doing. The hand job thing...well...aside from the risk of getting arrested for patronizing a prostitute, like someone else said, masturbation is way cheaper. Buy a copy of Dreamquest instead and go to town. 

Maybe what you're doing is a form of sex addiction...without the actual sex? :stu Or you're just lacking attention? 

I don't know if youre seeing a therapist, but maybe you could look into it. What you're doing isn't uncommon, but it's making you feel bad and you seem to be unable to stop. So it's a problem. You've already admitted it...that's a good thing. There's lots of stuff on the internet about sex addiction and similar things..do some research, maybe you can find someone to talk to by looking online. Or call your local mental health clinic and anonymously ask if they have any names of therapists they can give you that have experience in that area. Say it's information for a friend. That might make it easier.

When you molest a child or rape or kill someone...then you've got real basis to feel like a bad person. Right now, you just have some issues. Take care of them the right way. But you've got to quit with the massage parlors. One of these days, you'll find yourself being cuffed by a cute undercover officer with your winkie hanging out.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I would monitor the "gratification" part; it could lead to an addiction. What you are looking for is closeness, and are getting it through dangerous/illegal means. Massage parlors are notorious for "soliciting" - Rindy is right that there are stakeouts for this kind of thing. 

A needy person and a bad person are two different things. First learn to love yourself and the rest will fall into place .
This may need to go into the Relationships forum.


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## AdamCanada (Dec 6, 2003)

yea **** , ive been to alot alot of strip clubs :lol . its really not a bad thing althought i hate going to them now. I guess we were just drinking and stuff and we were trying to amuse ourselves, it was always what we did before we went to the real bars.

They were entertaining, its hilarious when somone gets up there for his birthday or bachelors party... :lol french strippers are crazy.

anyways, married men go to the massage parlors to, probably the majority of the customers are married. ive never been, i couldn't see myself doing that. (well like Mazza said, any guy can do that themselves)

Ive done worse stuff then all that and im not even close to a bad person.


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## extroverted introvert (Nov 12, 2006)

Holy **** !
Man, you're in a dark place !
If going to a strip club causes you self flagullation then the blues have really got you!
Sorry your lonely man, i know this is going to sound cheesy but hang in there, someone will come along,sounds like cr*p i know but it is the absolute truth !
You've gotta stop kickin your own *** man ! i know its hard ,i do it myself.
Hang in there !


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## TheContrary (May 2, 2006)

ho.


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## Rindy (Aug 11, 2004)

*Re: re: I'm becoming a bad person...*



TheContrary said:


> hold up everyone! dont give the guy a complex...just becuase u do something a lot it doesnt mean its an addiction. Im sure he can stop easily enough if her decides to.


Read his original post again. This guy wants to die, he feels so bad about it. If he could stop "easily", he would have already.


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## rebek (Aug 1, 2004)

You've got to learn to forgive yourself. Take responsiblity for the choices you make in life and just go on from there. I think a lot of people with SA at least me for sure are really hard on ourselves. I have a hard time overcoming a lot of mistakes I've made in my life. It may be the shame you feel that is causing you to feel bad too? I grew up in a real religious family and I feel a little ashamed on past things. I don't know if you believe in God but for me I just remind myself, God is really the one that decides what kind of person you are and if he forgives me then so can I. What's great is you get start over tomorrow.


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## TheContrary (May 2, 2006)

*Re: re: I'm becoming a bad person...*

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## Rindy (Aug 11, 2004)

*Re: re: I'm becoming a bad person...*



cwb said:


> Its learning to be lonley with out exploiting women that i want. *Strip clubs give hand jobs to by the way, they aren't to much different from the massage places*. Although some of the massage parlors have sex slaves who were sold into slavery in the usa from other countires. The thought that i might have used one of these girls haunts me.


In re: the bolded part above: Isn't that illegal? Or are they allowed to touch you and you just can't touch them?

Anyway, forget about feeling guilty about exploiting them. They're making big bucks (sell, some of them) and in that regard, you're the one being exploited. It's a two way street.

The above poster made a good point about the references to sex addiction. Maybe sex addiction isn't the right phrase. I still think therapy might be able to help you in the sense that they might be able to help you find constructive ways to build confidence and not need to go to massage parlors or strip clubs to get some gratification.


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

The man has an addiction to sexual gratification? Gasp, now, that's something completely unheard of. I think you should congratulate yourself, i have too much anxiety to even go to strip clubs or 'massage parlors' (first time i actually even heard about them), at least you can do something about it. And no, masturbation it's not the answer. It's like feeding bread and water to a starving man. Yes, you will forget your hunger for a while, but you'll still be miserable...


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

Lyric Suite said:


> The man has an addiction to sexual gratification? Gasp, now, that's something completely unheard of. I think you should congratulate yourself, i have too much anxiety to even go to strip clubs or 'massage parlors' (first time i actually even heard about them), at least you can do something about it. And no, masturbation it's not the answer. It's like feeding bread and water to a starving man. Yes, you will forget your hunger for a while, but you'll still be miserable...


Well, I think bread and water is better than starving to death. :lol

Anway, yeah, I wouldn't go so far as to call this guy a "sex addict." I can imagine that these kinds of seedy places are better than nothing for a lonely guy. :stu


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

I find it amazing that you can go into a strip club. Even if I wanted to and was able to, and I absolutely have no interest in a place like that because it just seems sad (plus I'm extremely cheap), I wouldn't go. I understand your guilt. I would feel guilty, too. I'm sure some of the women enjoy dancing and all, but to me it just seems depressing. When my friends used to talk about going to strip clubs, I couldn't believe it. It's like, "man, can't we just go meet girls somewhere or something?", not that I would talk to anyone, but still... 

Masturbation can be sad, though. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but having to just whisk away a natural need everyday just feels really pathetic sometimes. It almost doesn't seem fair. I think, "I'm 24. How much longer am I going to be doing this?" It's not that close to the full picture. There is a lot left to be desired.


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## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

BeNice said:


> I find it amazing that you can go into a strip club. Even if I wanted to and was able to, and I absolutely have no interest in a place like that because it just seems sad (plus I'm extremely cheap), I wouldn't go. I understand your guilt. I would feel guilty, too. I'm sure some of the women enjoy dancing and all, but to me it just seems depressing. When my friends used to talk about going to strip clubs, I couldn't believe it. It's like, "man, can't we just go meet girls somewhere or something?", not that I would talk to anyone, but still...


 :agree I have no problem with people going to strip clubs and all. However, I often feel depressed when I'm around that kind of behavior. It comes off as base and disgusting to me.


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