# Does anyone else feel superior because of SA?



## Fifteensteps (Dec 7, 2008)

I'm obviously paraphrasing when I say "superior," but in some regards I feel more in tune with my inner dialogue (though that's not always a good thing when that errs toward the negative) and therefore more able to recognize and truly savor a positive experience. Because I am mostly introverted (I'm about in the middle of the Meyers-Briggs scale but my SA accentuates the introversion), as I assume most people on this forum are, I reflect very intently in the moment (as well as retrospectively). Furthermore, I feel far more satisfied when I achieve something noteworthy, e.g. I navigate a large social gathering with a minimal amount of self-consciousness, I feel confident introducing myself to someone, I shake hands properly (when I succeed I've been told frequently that I have a firm handshake that exudes confidence; sometimes I miss and grab the other person's hand in a manner that they have to guide me in like I'm losing my handshake virginity or something :roll), or just have an otherwise insignificant experience that is all the more life-affirming when viewed in comparison to my multitude of mistakes. The dichotomy between the good and the bad is what makes the good worth living for, god damnit.


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## iD3o3 (Jan 16, 2009)

*ahh confusing!*

I might be betraying my own kind here ..

but I think this is a result of lack of input and hypersensitivity... when small things are made out to be big .. negotiate situations are big for us but not for most others .. plus i find when I feel inflated by negotiating situations the opposite is true other times.. ie feel crushed when I can't negotiate well.. so its just another example of imbalance/hypersentivity/ bouncing between extremes ..

did you feel this whole thing started when you became hyperaware of yourself and others.. predicting/fantisizing situations .. ?? etc . .

hmm .. but this is negative interpretation 
[plus as confusing as your question was!!]..

hmm.. upside interpretation .. we are special [ised] and the opposite of thuggish insensitive types .. but personally I feel crucified by my sensitivitys and think they are impractical..

virtue pushed to extreme goes bad!

reply?! :]


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## screwjack (Dec 19, 2008)

Yep, i'd say I have delusions of grandeur. Especially when someone get's into an embarassing situation and I think I saw that coming a mile away, I could have avoided that. It's so hard getting past the ego thing. It's so irrational too when you have no self confidence. Part of me fears i'm going to get better and bring it with me, if I turn into a cocky as**ole i'd become the thing I hate the most.



iD3o3 said:


> I might be betraying my own kind here ..
> 
> but I think this is a result of lack of input and hypersensitivity... when small things are made out to be big .. negotiate situations are big for us but not for most others .. plus i find when I feel inflated by negotiating situations the opposite is true other times.. ie feel crushed when I can't negotiate well.. so its just another example of imbalance/hypersentivity/ bouncing between extremes ..
> 
> ...


I don't think you are betraying your own kind, you are spot on. If we can't automatically stop this behavior we should be aware of it and examine it when it comes up at least.


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## iD3o3 (Jan 16, 2009)

Thanks 4 reply .. :] .. this sh*t really is a labyrinth to emerge from.. knowing lots others have it relaxes me a little

.. but u know this experience is like I missed a crutial element years ago and is now flowering into all sorts of repercussions and symptoms...

question is ..is there a piece of the puzzle that I'm missing or am I imagining that i've lost a piece..

I think its the problem is imagined but the results of thinking this way are real!

hmm what to do .. what to do .. [stops typing 4 10 mins.. thinking thinking...]

[mebbe stop thinking!]

I don't know .. yet


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## Fifteensteps (Dec 7, 2008)

".. but u know this experience is like I missed a crucial element years ago and is now flowering into all sorts of repercussions and symptoms..."

I know exactly what you're saying. It's like there's some synapse that was never connected and we have to figure out to do it on our own; all the while dealing with the infinite amount of hurdles that our situation presents. It feels really motivating when I'm able to exploit my own self-consciousness and somehow wrestle it into self awareness. And screwjack, I often think about the prospect of finally being a normal, confident, somewhat extroverted person. Would I forget where I came from, so to speak? I'd like to think that I wouldn't take my newfound happiness for granted and still view my experience as all the better because of the stark relativity between some of my past torment... but who knows. I wouldn't mind finding out if it means a life of sustained (that's always been the key for me) self-confidence and happiness.


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## iD3o3 (Jan 16, 2009)

hehe .. seems us 3 are very similiar!..

Thought long and hard last night and come up with 2 things..

1.st.

Thinking that if I make friends with ppl worse off than me then by default I'll have to be the leader [in a way] .. so instead of seeing someone worse of and boosting my ego by thinking at least I'm better off than him .. I'll see If I can understand and help that person.. [which is ironically what we want!]

because I have strange idea by trying to avoid being the lowest on the rung I'm actually attracting it!

then take that confidence and leadership to meet ppl on my wavelength [and above hehe!] without being nervous..

Its like i've been avoiding going to chess club [and I like chess] because I think these ppl with make me more depressed that I'm with them.. but I can flip it because I can lead and help them...

Some of the most confident + sensitive [best way to be] ppl are like this.. they are not concerned who they associate with.. ie. no fear of rejection..

.. hmm ..
I'll try this .. [as best I can]

point.2.

I think this SA state stems from being sensitive/shy .. but then later on if u add judgementalness It becomes unbearable .. I've become judgemental of myself then others .. I never used to be like this b4 meeting judgemental friends.. ..

so.. I went shopping // shopping centre by myself [first thing in morning!].. and thought before I ordered .. I'm not going to judge you attendant.. so I don't expect the same back from you

... and it helped!

[Non-judgmental as in I'm not going to judge whether you are a *good* or *bad* person]

hmm I feel some truth around these points.. and its starting to feel moral/biblical these lessons!.. damn you god!. hehehe


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## iD3o3 (Jan 16, 2009)

ps. Fifteensteps .. 

"Would I forget where I came from, so to speak? I'd like to think that I wouldn't take my newfound happiness for granted and still view my experience as all the better because of the stark relativity between some of my past torment."


I feel like we could be the same person!


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## caithiggs (Jan 11, 2009)

Haha, short answer: yes.

I've always loved my ability to reflect back on situations. My ability to forgive others and feel empathy is greater by miles than many people around me. I still am overly negative though. And lack confidence, etc. Lately my reflections have felt a little ... less significant though.



Fifteensteps said:


> I often think about the prospect of finally being a normal, confident, somewhat extroverted person. Would I forget where I came from, so to speak? I'd like to think that I wouldn't take my newfound happiness for granted and still view my experience as all the better because of the stark relativity between some of my past torment... but who knows. I wouldn't mind finding out if it means a life of sustained (that's always been the key for me) self-confidence and happiness.


I have to say I'm a lot more self confident than I used to be, and it does feel like I've lost a part of myself. It's strange. I have, over the years, thought about how wonderful it is to have shed some of the dead skin of past torment. But at the same time, there will always be the future to be afraid of, and the only reason I guess I'm a more confident person is out of necessity. It's actually because I'm too busy to worry as much as I used to. I used to have more _time_ to worry about the little things, and I don't anymore. So I often do take this new feeling for granted. And often wonder, haven't I lost something somewhere?

Not that I have much time in my life to pine over it incessantly or anything. But there is always going to be that sort of exchange, gain something, lose something else.

I like to think though, that when I find _more_ self confidence (because I still have a long way to go) I will somehow gain access to whatever it is that I've lost.


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## iD3o3 (Jan 16, 2009)

I've found .. I found it!! I found it .!!

Guys .. you know how we where talking about how we felt like we lost something .. .*this* was the switch!!!!!!!!!

READ!

http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/postt22239.html

REREAD!


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## Para (Feb 14, 2009)

Thank you so much for posting that link iD3o3 - that guy is amazing - I think he has really got it, I know exactly what he means!!! 
I hope he writes a book!! 

http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/i-cured-myself-no-drugs-no-lie-please-read-16379/


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## iD3o3 (Jan 16, 2009)

*hehe*

It is right isn't it! ..

A couple of weeks after reading I am feeling better still..

.. it just a start what he is suggesting but it is def. correct and should inspire a lot more thoughts about how to beat this..

hehe..

but I feel better these days!


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