# Not attracted to girls my age



## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

29 will be this year, really not attracted to girls, wait- women, that age, that's old to me, I don't even see myself being the age I am, in my mind I'm still in high school since nothing has really happened since then, most my age are too experienced, in serious relationships, married, with kids, many are out of shape and they can't get back to how they were before they were pregnant, a male who is 28, what would be the youngest a gf should be for someone my age?


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Just date whoever you want. If you connect with them and they connect with you, there shouldn't be an age limit. I'd probably keep it legal though lol.

I've always connected more with older guys because they're usually more a bit more mature and sometimes more intelligent than guys my age. However this is not always the case. Perhaps you will find a girl who is your age and is shy, lacks experience with men, shares similar interests, etc. But if not, don't be afraid to date a 20 year old for example.

People might tell you that 18 year olds or 20 year olds aren't mature and that we're shallow girls who aren't looking for commitment, but that isn't true. I am an exception to that idea, and I'm sure there are many other exceptions.


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## That random dude (Dec 21, 2012)

I'd say anyone that's in their 20's and is mature enough would be fine.


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## Kanova (Dec 17, 2012)

For me, its weird for there to be something more than 5 years difference.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Why don't you worry about it once you actually have a date?


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

Kanova said:


> For me, its weird for there to be something more than 5 years difference.


that just means to me that it's a wake up call, my time is up, no dating for me then, this is what happens when you never had a date and are the age I am, maybe I'll get it right the next in my next life


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## Daveyboy (Jan 13, 2013)

I don't understand people who say they are not attracted to women their own age.
Isn't beauty..beauty? I can see you want to date someone close to your own age, but not attracted to them, seems odd....


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## enfield (Sep 4, 2010)

hmm my first sas crush was 15. my second is even younger, 13. but having a crush and being attracted to someone or liking them a lot, are different. but i don't want to get into those differences here. but might it be you just like younger girls in different capacities than older ones, but don't actually not like older ones, and only tend to not to prefer them relative to their younger cohort (?). i don't feel like i have grownup either. but plenty of older people, in your case girls your age, wouldn't act their age. it's not like you have to restrict yourself to younger girls to find younger acting ones who you would feel like you could relate too, whose maturity wouldn't present a barrier.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

komorikun said:


> Why don't you worry about it once you actually have a date?


That's pretty much what I was thinking.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

MobiusX said:


> a male who is 28, what would be the youngest a gf should be for someone my age?


People get _so fixated_ on age.

Personally, I'd go all the way down to whatever the legal age is, I don't care. My own preference is, like, 23+ just because they're more likely to have their s*** together, but I think it's rather counterproductive of people to set these kinds of hard limits for themselves.


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## renegade disaster (Jul 28, 2009)

I wasn't attracted to younger people when I was in my teens or early 20's, I was attracted to those my own age and some that were older. the interesting thing was that those which were attracted to me were often younger, and that still is the case now. I think its due to the fact I can be quite playful and young at heart. these days i'm attracted to younger or older people, anyone who is on a similar level of fun, maturity and intelligence.


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## laurenxox (Apr 4, 2012)

I love old men


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## laurenxox (Apr 4, 2012)

* older lol


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Just Lurking said:


> People get _so fixated_ on age.
> 
> Personally, I'd go all the way down to whatever the legal age is, I don't care. My own preference is, like, 23+ just because they're more likely to have their s*** together, but I think it's rather counterproductive of people to set these kinds of hard limits for themselves.


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

ha don't be picky about age man, how about whether she has the same interests you and can hold a conversation with you. lol man you make me laugh sometimes.


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

18 is okay.


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## DreamerInSlumberland (Mar 6, 2013)

I feel like a lot of men around my age don't have their **** together... or at least the ones I have met and I'm 27. I tend to prefer men who are older.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

If I were you, I'd focus on my own shortcomings instead of why other people don't measure up to my expectations.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

As long as they're legal, why worry about it? 99% of the time you're going to find that females will regulate this area of things themselves. Generally, an 18 year old girl is not going to find a typical 29 year old man attractive anyway. And even if she did, social norms would hold most of them back. You're probably not going to find yourself in a situation where you have to worry about it unless you're VERY good looking or wealthy. 

So basically, if you're attracted to young (legal) girls, you might as well try to date them but don't hold your breath. You never know. You might get lucky. Just don't base your entire life on whether or not this works for you. You have to start with the knowledge that it's highly unlikely.

I'm still very attracted to girls 18 - 25 but for me, it's mostly just admiring them. I know it's complete fantasy at this point. First of all, I'm not even interested in dating. I just can't help but look though.


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## llodell88 (May 15, 2011)

19+; out of highschool...Seeing lots of girls in their mid-late 20s that could pass for HS students lately so I don't know why age is such a big deal. From a distance a lot of older people seem more mature than they really are too...lots of girls in the same boat as you. 30 seems like a youngish age to me now though. My sister and her fiance are 32 and they still seem young to me. I feel old though...wtf. I can see why it would be weird to date someone your own age with no experience though. I feel like I'm supposed to be dating someone a few years older than me when the oldest I've gone is 22 so that seems like a big gap to me, like a missed a big step. I realized part of my problem is I just don't get out enough though, when I'm actually around people that age they don't seem so old to me.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

PickleNose said:


> As long as they're legal, why worry about it? 99% of the time you're going to find that females will regulate this area of things themselves. Generally, an 18 year old girl is not going to find a typical 29 year old man attractive anyway. And even if she did, social norms would hold most of them back. You're probably not going to find yourself in a situation where you have to worry about it unless you're VERY good looking or wealthy.
> 
> So basically, if you're attracted to young (legal) girls, you might as well try to date them but don't hold your breath. You never know. You might get lucky. Just don't base your entire life on whether or not this works for you. You have to start with the knowledge that it's highly unlikely.
> 
> I'm still very attracted to girls 18 - 25 but for me, it's mostly just admiring them. I know it's complete fantasy at this point. First of all, I'm not even interested in dating. I just can't help but look though.


if they are 18, how do you really know they are 18? they might be 17 or 16...


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

MobiusX said:


> if they are 18, how do you really know they are 18? they might be 17 or 16...


If you're really that worried about it, ask for some kind of proof, like an I.D.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

mezzoforte said:


> If you're really that worried about it, ask for some kind of proof, like an I.D.


so what if the girl is 21 and there is a chance she might really be 17? so I can ask for ID whenever I doubt her? If this is the case, I would ask ID no matter what age she is just to be sure.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

MobiusX said:


> so what if the girl is 21 and there is a chance she might really be 17? so I can ask for ID whenever I doubt her? If this is the case, I would ask ID no matter what age she is just to be sure.


Well no one really does that, but I don't know how else you would be 100% sure.

Edit: Or you could find her on Facebook. Pretty much everyone has one, and I doubt she would lie there.


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

The premise of the OP is wrong. I've dated women as old as 38 who had great bodies. I've been with women as young as 18 who looked good dressed but had had a lot cellulite. It's your own lack of experience with women that has resulted in this narrow view. 

I think you're just trying to make the possibility of finding someone seem impossible. You don't like women your age. Younger women will think you're too old. So you might as well just give up. 

But the reality is none of that is true. Women your age are not all out of shape and unattractive. Even if you had a thing for younger women there are plenty out there who won't care that you're older. 

The root of your problem is that you're so afraid of being rejected that you won't even try. Just keep in mind that everyone gets rejected. It's really not a big deal.


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## Haunty (Oct 24, 2008)

This is the formula I use to find out the youngest a guy should date, lol:

Take half your age, and add 7.
So if you're 100, the youngest you should go for is 57; and if you're 16, the youngest you should go for is 15. lol

Women could do the opposite to find out the oldest guy they should date: Subtract 7 from your age, and multiply that by 2.


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## Fenren (Sep 20, 2009)

It's irrelevant really if you only fancy ones younger than yourself. Most younger women will only go with guys around there own age, or only go with an older guy if he's really attractive and experienced. A lot of women now, seem to prefer going with guys a few years younger than themselves even.
Get with what you can or give up.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

Fenren said:


> It's irrelevant really if you only fancy ones younger than yourself. Most younger women will only go with guys around there own age, or only go with an older guy if he's really attractive and experienced. A lot of women now, seem to prefer going with guys a few years younger than themselves even.
> Get with what you can or give up.


if that's the case then no, I'm not that desperate


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

AngelClare said:


> The premise of the OP is wrong. I've dated women as old as 38 who had great bodies. I've been with women as young as 18 who looked good dressed but had had a lot cellulite. It's your own lack of experience with women that has resulted in this narrow view.
> 
> I think you're just trying to make the possibility of finding someone seem impossible. You don't like women your age. Younger women will think you're too old. So you might as well just give up.
> 
> ...


what is great to one isn't great to the other, thicker, chubbier, fat are not great bodies for me, sorry, I just don't find that attractive,


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## Fenren (Sep 20, 2009)

MobiusX said:


> if that's the case then no, I'm not that desperate


My last reply was a huge generalization actually. But I prefer to make excuses and say its always the women that have the problem.

If it wasn't for my poor social skills from years of avoidance/anxiety/lack of experience. 
I could have met up with some younger women from POF. Even a nice looking 18 year old was interested and I'm a few years older than you!

Basically, my own insecurities, anxiety and feelings of dread ruined the potential of things ever developing...

Anyway some younger women will like you and some won't. If you only feel attracted to younger ones, fine. Its just taking your chance if and when one you like, likes you back.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

komorikun said:


> Why don't you worry about it once you actually have a date?


Pretty much.


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## DiceMan (Mar 26, 2012)

Don't ask don't tell.


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## Daveyboy (Jan 13, 2013)

diamondheart89 said:


> If I were you, I'd focus on my own shortcomings instead of why other people don't measure up to my expectations.


Perfection...


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## bonemealzambia (Mar 15, 2012)

half your age plus 7


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## HelpfulHero (Aug 14, 2013)

I've heard of 19 year olds dating forty year olds *shrug*

also because you seem to be getting a lot of **** from the ladyfolk a word of encouragement:

encouragement.

but seriously, date who YOU like and **** ANYONE who tells you what you "should" be doing. Seriously **** them because they are selfish twats who want to interpret you and your situation so it doesn't **** over their own egos. Just make yourself happy.


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## Gwynevere (Oct 6, 2013)

I think it would be really creepy for you to seek out anyone younger than 25. If you happen to end up meeting someone younger and falling for each other, that's fine, but to actively seek out someone much younger than yourself? That really creeps me out.


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## alyien (Jan 21, 2014)

wtv, ive had a couple 18 year olds interested in my at 25,26. 
I look around their age and they were surprised to find out how old I was but it didn't change anything. Well I did feel a bit of pressure to be a role model-not talk about drugs.

I dated a 21 year old at 26 for a short time

at this point in my life i'm going to school so most of the girls i meet will be between 19-22. 
I doubt most of them care. Alot of girls I knew dated way older ever since hs so...
if i meet a decent girl that i actually like which is rare, doubt ill let age stop me (unless illegal)


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I find myself having the same problem.

I just turned 31, and I'm generally attracted to girls who are, or look, around 19-21 years old. 

The only friendship that almost turned into a relationship, I approached her because I thought she was 19 (she actually was a month older than me, and we were both 27.) However, it was the fact that she looked young that interested me. Girls who actually looked 27, I wasn't interested in. 

Now, at 31, I find the pickings slim. Not trying to be offensive, but I'm struggling to find what age I should date? The half your age + 7 says that I should aim for 23 and above, but what if I find girls younger than that attractive? I may be calmer and more centered than I was in my teens and early 20's, but nothing really of significance has happened since then, and I'd love to date a 19 year old or 21 year old girl who has the same interests as me (impossible, it seems, I couldn't even find a girl like that when I was that age!)


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

DeeperUnderstanding said:


> I find myself having the same problem.
> 
> I just turned 31, and I'm generally attracted to girls who are, or look, around 19-21 years old.
> 
> ...


There's around a ten year age difference there, so it's quite likely that they will have different interests to you on average because of that, and also where they're at in their own lives at that time. It's kind of a messy time for many people, I know, I just lived through it lol. Also depends on how mature an individual is and stuff though obviously.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Persephone The Dread said:


> There's around a ten year age difference there, so it's quite likely that they will have different interests to you on average because of that, and also where they're at in their own lives at that time. It's kind of a messy time for many people, I know, I just lived through it lol. Also depends on how mature an individual is and stuff though obviously.


Well, I look young, so there's that.

I understand there would be issues, but I would probably have trouble relating with women my own age who have been in several relationships already. Plus, I live at home currently, so there's an issue there.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

DeeperUnderstanding said:


> I find myself having the same problem.
> 
> I just turned 31, and I'm generally attracted to girls who are, or look, around 19-21 years old.
> 
> ...


how do you know they are 19? what if you see a girl in public you don't know and you are attracted to her and she is 17. Does this make you a pedophile?


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

MobiusX said:


> how do you know they are 19? what if you see a girl in public you don't know and you are attracted to her and she is 17. Does this make you a pedophile?


Pedophilia is an attraction to prepubescents. It's not natural; it's a psychiatric disorder listed in the DSM. The difference between a prepubescent and postpubescent should be very apparent.

Attraction to postpubescents is natural and has nothing to do with pedophilia. People pass puberty at different ages, so as far as nature is concerned, there is no set age. It's not like a light switch is turned on at 18 where people magically see the person in a different light.

If you develop something with a postpubescent who's still underage (without actually knowing their age), this is more natural than anything else and isn't something to be shamed over.

If you actively seek out underage postpubescents or continue a relationship with them after finding out their real age, THAT - according to the norms and laws set out by our civilization - is abnormal and deviant. (Nature would disagree with this, but it's our laws that dictate us.)

The *action* is the issue -- not the *thought*.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

Just Lurking said:


> Pedophilia is an attraction to prepubescents. It's not natural; it's a psychiatric disorder listed in the DSM. The difference between a prepubescent and postpubescent should be very apparent.
> 
> Attraction to postpubescents is natural and has nothing to do with pedophilia. People pass puberty at different ages, so as far as nature is concerned, there is no set age. It's not like a light switch is turned on at 18 where people magically see the person in a different light.
> 
> ...


it all depends in what country you are living, my mom was 16 when she had me, my dad was 26, it happened in el salvador, its considered normal there


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

MobiusX said:


> how do you know they are 19? what if you see a girl in public you don't know and you are attracted to her and she is 17. Does this make you a pedophile?


No, that would make me a _ephebophilie.

_People love to toss around pedophile as describing someone who is attracted to girls who are already sexually mature. In past times, girls were getting married as young as 14...but back in those days, people were dying younger, and since education was a priority, most boys and girls were more mature than they are now.


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