# Violent Urges



## Frenger868 (Apr 11, 2011)

This actually scares me quite a bit. I am not a violent person, but I get these urges- almost images, of doing violent things. For example, I was babysitting my 3 year old cousin and I was standing in front of him, and his head was down. I suddenly felt the urge to kick him in the face and watch him tumble backwards. This was just out of nowhere, and I was feeling fine too, perhaps a little stressed, but when am I not? And I love this kid, I would never think of harming him in any way. This left me reeling with shock and disgust at myself, for even thinking--however unwillingly-- of hurting him. 

Another "urge" occured when I was with a group of people- my friends- and as they were talking and laughing around me, I suddenly had this image of beating every one of them to a bloody pulp. Just out of nowhere. I wasn't feeling malevolent to them at that particular time, and I've never felt bad enough about them to want to beat them up! This was actually the first instance that I had an image like this, and I was confused, but not really worried. 

Maybe I should mention that I self-harm; but thats SELF-harm, not harm all the innocents around you. I don't even get these violent "images" about myself, I only get the urges. I would never EVER think of acting on these images against other people, but it is worrying nonetheless. 

So anyways, I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced this or if this could be a symptom of something else. I don't know, maybe I'm just crazy.


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## 266x (Jun 30, 2011)

I get those too, just random things like I'm holding my dog and sitting next to a campfire and I imagine myself throwing him in and hearing him cry. I would never do that, I love my dog, but for some reason I just imagine those things.


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## mark84 (Jul 13, 2011)

You're brave to post these feelings, I doubt their alien to a lot of people here (and maybe even those without any disorders, thinking how popular violent games and movies are). I suspect it's fairly natural to fantasize about all sorts of stuff that you would never consider doing in real life. I would guess that maybe SA sufferes are prone to more violent or extreme imagery due to the frustration that we all live with.


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## Frenger868 (Apr 11, 2011)

mark84 said:


> You're brave to post these feelings, I doubt their alien to a lot of people here (and maybe even those without any disorders, thinking how popular violent games and movies are). I suspect it's fairly natural to *fantasize* about all sorts of stuff that you would never consider doing in real life. I would guess that maybe SA sufferes are prone to more violent or extreme imagery due to the frustration that we all live with.


 Thanks for the feedback, but I wouldn't call it fantasizing; I have no desire to hurt anyone around me, I do enough to myself. These images really disturb me, and it's not like my mind starts to wander and I get around to idly thinking I want to beat a bunch a people up or inflict head wounds on three-year-olds. It's more... I don't know; intrusive and out of nowhere. I'll be laughing and smiling, or even talking, and a violent urge just appears. It's shocking and disgusting to me, not something I enjoy or fantasize about.

But, I don't know, it could be a build up of frustration or repressed anger trying to come out. Once again though, I usually deal with that on my own body, not on others.


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## Porterdog (Sep 17, 2010)

Thats OCD bro, only that your missing the paranoid part.
I get it too, except i get disgusting sexual ones as well..
I used to picture my teachers naked and ****, i always felt ashamed and ****ing weird


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## UndreamingAwake (Apr 11, 2011)

Frenger868 said:


> This actually scares me quite a bit. I am not a violent person, but I get these urges- almost images, of doing violent things. For example, I was babysitting my 3 year old cousin and I was standing in front of him, and his head was down. I suddenly felt the urge to kick him in the face and watch him tumble backwards. This was just out of nowhere, and I was feeling fine too, perhaps a little stressed, but when am I not? And I love this kid, I would never think of harming him in any way. This left me reeling with shock and disgust at myself, for even thinking--however unwillingly-- of hurting him.


This sounds a lot like an intrusive thought. In fact, i'm pretty sure of it, since I have them just about daily. I have "Pure O" OCD. 
Intrusive thoughts, of whatever nature, occur in everyone, and always happens against your will, but how you deal with it determines whether it will develop into an "obsession".

My advice: it was *just* a thought. Just let it go. Everyone, whether they admit it or not, has thoughts that run counter to who, what and how they are. It was *against* your will, so it's not you, it doesnt say anything about you. Your brain just let out a "fart" as one of my therapists once called it.

However, do *not* try and surpress the thoughts. That will just alert your brain to them even more, and will make them more frequent. Just say "uhu" the next time the thoughts pop into your head.


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## paulyD (Feb 16, 2011)

Frenger868 said:


> This actually scares me quite a bit. I am not a violent person, but I get these urges- almost images, of doing violent things. For example, I was babysitting my 3 year old cousin and I was standing in front of him, and his head was down. I suddenly felt the urge to kick him in the face and watch him tumble backwards. This was just out of nowhere, and I was feeling fine too, perhaps a little stressed, but when am I not? And I love this kid, I would never think of harming him in any way. This left me reeling with shock and disgust at myself, for even thinking--however unwillingly-- of hurting him.
> 
> Another "urge" occured when I was with a group of people- my friends- and as they were talking and laughing around me, I suddenly had this image of beating every one of them to a bloody pulp. Just out of nowhere. I wasn't feeling malevolent to them at that particular time, and I've never felt bad enough about them to want to beat them up! This was actually the first instance that I had an image like this, and I was confused, but not really worried.
> 
> ...


as long as you dont act on them theres nothing to feel guilty about


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## zomgz (Aug 17, 2009)

I have intrusive thoughts as well. I think it's part of an OCD thing, though I've never been officially diagnosed I'm pretty positive I have it. Really friggin' weird things that would make my stomach churn. Sometimes I did honestly feel sick to my stomach after what I thought about.

Here's my suggestion, it may or may not work for you but it does work pretty good for me. Anytime you have an intrusive thought just replace it with something hilarious. Like if you have a weird thought about hurting someone just replace that mental image with a watermelon. Just focus on the watermelon, big, round, juicy. Something you want to sink your teeth into? Mmmhmm! It takes a bit of practice but it can be done


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