# I haven't left the house in 2 weeks. Nobody cares



## Ellietot

Even if i got out, i've nothing to go for anyway. I'm a failure


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## feems99

go outside and take a walk


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## Ellietot

feems99 said:


> go outside and take a walk


You misunderstand, i can't that's the point.


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## feems99

Ellietot said:


> You misunderstand, i can't that's the point.


go to the supermarket and buy some random cheap thing (Halls, for example) and then get back home I do it sometimes...


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## tennislover84

Hey, I know what that's like. I'm sure you're not a failure though. Try to remember that it's not your fault, if you developed anxiety.  

I don't go out a lot. I live with my parents and I get really depressed always being around them, so I just stay in the house. There doesn't seem to be any point in going out alone, with nowhere to go.

Since you're in the UK, have you had any contact with the mental health service? I've had people come to help me get outside and doing things, which is really helpful. You could probably access services like that, if that seemed like it might help you too.


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## housebunny

Get up early and go out for a walk or to buy something really early in the morning before all the people get up. Then if you stay in the house for the rest of the day, at least you did that. And buy yourself something you like while you're out, to reward yourself.


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## Delicate

If people don't care, it's only because they don't know you well enough. You know you well though, think about all of your good qualities you have. You seem like an interesting person, try to focus on what you like or could learn to like about yourself.

And I agree with the others, if you can do, try to push your boundaries, in a way that is more comfortable at first as the others suggested.

I hope things get better for you.


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## Valtron

You have to force yourself to do something. 
I suffer this problem too; if I spend more than two days without leaving my house, I can't leave. I'm too comfortable. Go out for a drive around town, go to a library/book store, go get some food, go see a movie, go walk around a mall. Walking around my neighborhood never helps me because I'm too lazy at that point, and just want to walk home. You need to go somewhere else. I know it's tough, but make it a habit. I like housebunny's idea of doing something in the morning. That way you don't procrastinate or put it off.


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## housebunny

Valtron said:


> You have to force yourself to do something.
> I suffer this problem too; if I spend more than two days without leaving my house, I can't leave. I'm too comfortable.


That makes sense. You know, I've been staying in the house a lot more lately, I kind of gave myself permission to just chill in the house because I'm going through prescription drug withdrawals, and I've noticed I am wanting to leave the house less and less, and when I have to, it's getting harder.


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## Valtron

housebunny said:


> That makes sense. You know, I've been staying in the house a lot more lately, I kind of gave myself permission to just chill in the house because I'm going through prescription drug withdrawals, and I've noticed I am wanting to leave the house less and less, and when I have to, it's getting harder.


That's a little different; if you're normally busy, then giving yourself a break is fine. I, however, have a lot of time on my hands and waste most of it locked in my room. It's been this way for years now.
But it's interesting how the laziness just builds and builds, huh?


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## housebunny

Valtron said:


> That's different. If you're normally busy, then giving yourself a break is fine. I, however, have a lot of time on my hands and waste most of it locked in my room. It's been this way for years now.


No, I'm not normally busy, I'm like you, but I live alone so I don't lock myself in my room. I just stay in my apartment all day. I have very little desire to leave it, either. I've just noticed the more I do this, the more I want to do it, if that makes sense.


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## HanSolo

I was that pathetic a while ago too, now my life is wasted, and I'm at least going where girls are, and even talk to a few now and again....its tough sometimes tho, but other times it's easy

Tonight it was easy to talk to a real pretty bar tender, there was no one listening to us really.

But there were a few girls at another place, with a few people walking about people, that was hard for SA reasons and stuff, so another wasted night


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## Ellietot

tennislover84 said:


> Hey, I know what that's like. I'm sure you're not a failure though. Try to remember that it's not your fault, if you developed anxiety.
> 
> I don't go out a lot. I live with my parents and I get really depressed always being around them, so I just stay in the house. There doesn't seem to be any point in going out alone, with nowhere to go.
> 
> Since you're in the UK, have you had any contact with the mental health service? I've had people come to help me get outside and doing things, which is really helpful. You could probably access services like that, if that seemed like it might help you too.


I have terrible anxiety, i've been on small dosage of diazapam, but even that doesn't really help. It's absolutely controlling me at this stage, i can't get out of the house, because i get panic attacks when i go to far. The docs are fed up with me i'm sure of it. Nothing they will do anyway, as i can't make it in to the Dr's to see them  I live in rural mid wales, and there isn't a lot of help around here anyway. I'm losing my mind, my life is utterly worthless at this stage



feems99 said:


> go to the supermarket and buy some random cheap thing (Halls, for example) and then get back home I do it sometimes...


 I used to do that, but now because of my panic disorder, i physically cannot even get out of the house, or very far from it. It's upsetting. I'm a failure, a loser. and my life is utterly worthless at this stage


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## tennislover84

Ellietot said:


> I have terrible anxiety, i've been on small dosage of diazapam, but even that doesn't really help. It's absolutely controlling me at this stage, i can't get out of the house, because i get panic attacks when i go to far. The docs are fed up with me i'm sure of it. Nothing they will do anyway, as i can't make it in to the Dr's to see them  I live in rural mid wales, and there isn't a lot of help around here anyway. I'm losing my mind, my life is utterly worthless at this stage


Years ago, I was in exactly the same position. The panic attacks started in certain places, then they spread to more places. Eventually the only place where I didn't have panic attacks was in my bed, so I would stay there.

I know it feels like your life is over. It feels hopeless and like nothing will ever be the same again. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

But it isn't the end, I promise. I'm still very anxious, but I can go outside without having panic attacks now. I barely have panic attacks anymore, because I can recognise when it's happening, and stop it before it happens. You can learn to do that too. 

A panic attack is just raw fear. Your brain is screaming out about danger, and you think that you're going to die, etc. But in reality, if you can find the willpower to sit through the panic attack, nothing happens. It's AWFUL :| but you don't die. Your body can't sustain panic for a long time, so eventually it passes and you become acclimatised to the situation. The next time, the panic attack will probably happen again, but you'll remember that last time it went away, and you were OK afterwards.

Really, the only way to beat it, is to keep finding that courage to sit through the panic attacks until they pass. It will make it a little easier for the next time, until eventually you don't have the panic attacks anymore.

It sucks that you live in a remote area, but you can try this on your own (forcing yourself to visit the doctors, for example.) Just think of how badly you want this to go away, and that it's worth a try. I promise it works, but I'm not saying it's easy. :squeeze


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## Merptastic

Everything will be ok love. My best friend was agoraphobic for a while, which means he was afraid of going outside, but he eventually got through it by weening off medication and going a more natural route. Just don't forget how impermanent our emotions are--this is a principle taught in Buddhism, that is very true. We are different beings from morning to night in just a day based on our feelings and influences of that day. You'll make it through this hard time, you have support


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## Staffst

I've never been that bad so all I can do is sympathise, but you live in a rural area? Will you see people when you're outside? Maybe go for a walk in fields. Look at some sheep. I'd love to do that.


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## Jedi Master

I get it. I've been months without leaving the house.

I have gotten to the point of just the thought of leaving the house would make me cry. I understand... but I've gotten a lot better. I can deal with it a lot and I have found ways to cope. If I can get through it, so can you 

Just remember, the anticipation of leaving is a lot more scary than actually leaving.


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## Ellietot

ChuckyFinster said:


> I could barely leave the house for 4-5 years. I mean, the number of times I went anywhere each year, could be counted on my fingers.


Yes, it was the same with me when i was in school. 



Merptastic said:


> Everything will be ok love. My best friend was agoraphobic for a while, which means he was afraid of going outside, but he eventually got through it by weening off medication and going a more natural route. Just don't forget how impermanent our emotions are--this is a principle taught in Buddhism, that is very true. We are different beings from morning to night in just a day based on our feelings and influences of that day. You'll make it through this hard time, you have support


Sometimes i can cope, and sometimes i can't. it's so hard to understand and everyone is so upset with me when i can't cope. actually yelling at me, as if i'm doing this on purpose, but i'm honestly not  i'm scared all the time.



tennislover84 said:


> Really, the only way to beat it, is to keep finding that courage to sit through the panic attacks until they pass. It will make it a little easier for the next time, until eventually you don't have the panic attacks anymore.
> 
> It sucks that you live in a remote area, but you can try this on your own (forcing yourself to visit the doctors, for example.) Just think of how badly you want this to go away, and that it's worth a try. I promise it works, but I'm not saying it's easy. :squeeze


I did get over this, and i was doing really well, able to travel round in the car on my own, i was even getting on well at my job. Really well, no panic well. but then last week it all went out the window when i had this panic attack, and now i feel like i just can't do anything, and even if i do get better, whats the point? i'll only end up being ill liek this again, and each time i do it's worse.



Jedi Master said:


> I get it. I've been months without leaving the house.
> 
> I have gotten to the point of just the thought of leaving the house would make me cry. I understand... but I've gotten a lot better. I can deal with it a lot and I have found ways to cope. If I can get through it, so can you
> 
> Just remember, the anticipation of leaving is a lot more scary than actually leaving.


I know  i just can't get over that initial fear. It's complete and utter dread.


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## paintgirl

Go see concerts and shows! You can go see them alone because that's a totally norma thing to do and they take you away from reality for a while. Plus you can meet some really nice people there. I met some really nice people from going to Broadway musicals.


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## WhatWentWrong

I know its a cliche but "no pain no gain". Just walk outside, embrace the anxiousness and conquer it. I know its hard and I'm in a similar boat (maybe not so bad) but if you don't push your boundaries you will be in the same boat in 10 years time and I know you don't want that.

Embrace the heat now and live good later.


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## changeme77

Ellietot said:


> You misunderstand, i can't that's the point.


You can, you just choose not to.


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## lightlizzie

Ellietot said:


> Even if i got out, i've nothing to go for anyway. I'm a failure


In a week I only go out 2-3 times...the rest of the days I stayed at home. You need to do at least some activities even though you are at home. Start by doing 1 routine activity everyday. I'm now focusing on exercising everyday. At least you accomplish one thing in a day.


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## Greensong

Ellietot said:


> I used to do that, but now because of my panic disorder, i physically cannot even get out of the house, or very far from it. It's upsetting. I'm a failure, a loser. and my life is utterly worthless at this stage


Nope. You can't do it. Not allowed. You can't claim that no one cares and then claim that people yell at you. They yell cos they care and want to see you get better.

What happened with the icecream and why did you let that person invalidate you like that?

You decided that your life is useless. If no one cares as you declare, then no ones gonna disagree with you, right?

Saying I can't actually creates a pathway in the brain that wasn't there previously. Always say I can & always know you have a choice.

You can see right? Some people don't even have that gift.


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## Ellietot

Greensong said:


> Nope. You can't do it. Not allowed. You can't claim that no one cares and then claim that people yell at you. They yell cos they care and want to see you get better.
> 
> What happened with the icecream and why did you let that person invalidate you like that?
> 
> You decided that your life is useless. If no one cares as you declare, then no ones gonna disagree with you, right?
> 
> Saying I can't actually creates a pathway in the brain that wasn't there previously. Always say I can & always know you have a choice.
> 
> You can see right? Some people don't even have that gift.


I can do what i want, thank you very much. And what about Icecream, I don't remember ever mentioning anything about icecream on here?

Plus, people don't disagree with me because they care, that's insane. People disagree for all sorts of reasons, them caring about me doesn't have to be, and isn't necessarily one of them. It's because the way i am affects them in that i'm in the way/annoying. Not because they have a desire to see me do better.

I can see? See as in actually physically see? I should be happy that i have a mental disability and not a physical disability like blindness, is that what you're saying?

Either you are confused, or I am confused, or you are indeed, being very rude. But i have a serious condition which makes me very afraid to do certain things, and alright, it may not be as bad as being blind, but it still affects me in a very serious way and i have every right to be upset about that.


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## Ellietot

WhatWentWrong said:


> I know its a cliche but "no pain no gain". Just walk outside, embrace the anxiousness and conquer it. I know its hard and I'm in a similar boat (maybe not so bad) but if you don't push your boundaries you will be in the same boat in 10 years time and I know you don't want that.
> 
> Embrace the heat now and live good later.


I've done it before, i've pushed myself and overcame the anxiety to a more bearable level, but now it's just come back worse, so what is the point?


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## Malek

I've spent years hiding from the world. I still do, aside from work and running errands, I never leave our apt. Also everyone in my life couldn't care less, nor do I fault them for that...


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## Ellietot

paintgirl said:


> Go see concerts and shows! You can go see them alone because that's a totally norma thing to do and they take you away from reality for a while. Plus you can meet some really nice people there. I met some really nice people from going to Broadway musicals.


I live in a rural area, so there aren't exactly any concerts and show to go to. Nearest cinema is 7 miles away and i can't travel that far


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## Gizamalukeix

You're not a failure, you're just dealing with a lot. I can't go outside either but I'm trying a little at a time. The most I'd do if I did go out is take a walk anyway. When I'm able to go someplace alone that has people I'll consider that a huge step.


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## LolaViola

I know it's difficult but you really need to push yourself...and keep pushing yourself. That's the only way you will have a shot at getting better and the longer you allow the problem to persist, the more serious the problem becomes. It will gradually become harder and harder to pull yourself out of this stagnant state if you continue to not even attempt to do so. It seems like you have given up and accepted that this is your fate, but you are the one who ultimately dictates your destiny. You said you overcame your fear and anxiety before and functioned pretty well. You can certainly do it again. Start really small and take baby steps towards progress. Step outside and just sit on your porch. Sit in your backyard and just take in the beauty of nature for a while. Nature always inspires me. There are actually a number of things you can do to get out of the house that don't require you to go far or exert much effort. It just depends on whether or not you're willing to do them. I truly hope your situation improves.


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## Frequence

What? I were home for a month in a row during summer vacation. Maybe I went to the store that's like 300 meters from my house but other than that I was just sitting home. I can't see why you are getting upset for 2 weeks. I'm almost certain that I'm more of a failure than you when it comes to being social. I'm not overweight or anything, just a loner  Don't get upset for this. I think there's many people that have been homes for way more than 2 weeks in a row. This is pretty much normal.


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## Everton

We are the same age. I had a spell where i left the house like 3 times in 5months. You also say you can drive and are working? Puts you a million miles ahead of me!


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## Thatguy55

I care about you.

I don't want someone who is like me to suffer any longer, I wish for you to learn how to overcome your problems.

By creating this thread, you've opened your self up to many different opinions from the many members here, they're only trying to help and are not trying to be rude or misunderstand you. If someone is rude, it's no biggie, they may just have their own way at getting their point across.

Many people are giving you advice here so I don't have much more to add to what has already been said by the other members.

All I can say is push on, push even harder. You're way too young to decide your life is over and pathetic, and that you're a failure. It's not fair to label your self as that, no one should.

You say you tried these things other members have mentioned before and you were getting better but then you dropped off after having a panic attack and reverted back to your old self... You must try again, and again, and again.. Until you get it. It's very very hard because I've been there my self, I thought it was a massive achievement to walk to end of my road and I was dying inside as I was doing it, I was too afraid to go to college, I couldn't catch the bus, I could barely talk to my own parents.

But now, I can. I overcame the fear of these things by failing. I failed many times but eventually I cracked it. That's the key to overcoming anxiety, as many know. Constant exposure and hard work, it doesn't always feel like you're getting anywhere but you just have to try your best and look on the positive side of things.

This isn't some kind of dumb success story or anything, I'm just saying that it can be done. You're condition is way worse than mine but I have faith in you.

Please don't give up, you have many years ahead of you to figure this out.

Keep us posted.


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## Ellietot

Everton said:


> We are the same age. I had a spell where i left the house like 3 times in 5months. You also say you can drive and are working? Puts you a million miles ahead of me!


I can't drive now, no. i get too anxious leaving the house for too long. And i don't have a job anymore either.



Frequence said:


> What? I were home for a month in a row during summer vacation. Maybe I went to the store that's like 300 meters from my house but other than that I was just sitting home. I can't see why you are getting upset for 2 weeks. I'm almost certain that I'm more of a failure than you when it comes to being social. I'm not overweight or anything, just a loner  Don't get upset for this. I think there's many people that have been homes for way more than 2 weeks in a row. This is pretty much normal.


I haven't made it outside, no one has called me, no one has even bothered to see if i'm okay outside of my family. 2 weeks is a long time to be in just one room.


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## Ellietot

Thatguy55 said:


> I care about you.
> 
> I don't want someone who is like me to suffer any longer, I wish for you to learn how to overcome your problems.
> 
> By creating this thread, you've opened your self up to many different opinions from the many members here, they're only trying to help and are not trying to be rude or misunderstand you. If someone is rude, it's no biggie, they may just have their own way at getting their point across.
> 
> Many people are giving you advice here so I don't have much more to add to what has already been said by the other members.
> 
> All I can say is push on, push even harder. You're way too young to decide your life is over and pathetic, and that you're a failure. It's not fair to label your self as that, no one should.
> 
> You say you tried these things other members have mentioned before and you were getting better but then you dropped off after having a panic attack and reverted back to your old self... You must try again, and again, and again.. Until you get it. It's very very hard because I've been there my self, I thought it was a massive achievement to walk to end of my road and I was dying inside as I was doing it, I was too afraid to go to college, I couldn't catch the bus, I could barely talk to my own parents.
> 
> But now, I can. I overcame the fear of these things by failing. I failed many times but eventually I cracked it. That's the key to overcoming anxiety, as many know. Constant exposure and hard work, it doesn't always feel like you're getting anywhere but you just have to try your best and look on the positive side of things.
> 
> This isn't some kind of dumb success story or anything, I'm just saying that it can be done. You're condition is way worse than mine but I have faith in you.
> 
> Please don't give up, you have many years ahead of you to figure this out.
> 
> Keep us posted.


I know that i should be going out there and trying to do it, but honestly, what is the point? At this stage i have nothing, i tried uni and i failed. Other much less intelligent than me passed, and i failed. I have nothing to get up for in the morning, and the idea of making myself worse by trying to go out and face the anxiety is just too much for me to cope with at the moment. I know it has to get worse to gt better, i just honestly don't believe i can handle it getting much worse than this at the moment.


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## KelsKels

No one has to care. Do if for yourself. Little things will make it easier. If you don't think you can take a walk, just stand in the doorway. Sit on your porch.


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## Ellietot

KelsKels said:


> No one has to care. Do if for yourself. Little things will make it easier. If you don't think you can take a walk, just stand in the doorway. Sit on your porch.


i've been trying to, but it doesn't seem to do much good. Everythings all messed up atm.

PS,
I love AC. I am so excited for Black flag! Eddy is from where i'm from <3


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## KelsKels

Ellietot said:


> i've been trying to, but it doesn't seem to do much good. Everythings all messed up atm.
> 
> PS,
> I love AC. I am so excited for Black flag! Eddy is from where i'm from <3


Have patience and faith in yourself  You could give up, but I don't think you really want to since you made this thread. 
Hm, I know hes from the UK but not where exactly. Ill have to wikia it. Apparently I don't know as much about AC as I should! :b But yeah, Im really excited for ACIV. I haven't been keeping up with the gameplay trailers or anything though. I want everything to be all new when I buy it.


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## Ellietot

KelsKels said:


> Have patience and faith in yourself  You could give up, but I don't think you really want to since you made this thread.
> Hm, I know hes from the UK but not where exactly. Ill have to wikia it. Apparently I don't know as much about AC as I should! :b But yeah, Im really excited for ACIV. I haven't been keeping up with the gameplay trailers or anything though. I want everything to be all new when I buy it.


Yeah, i just want something to push me i think. i find this really hard to do on my own, and i just want something to give me meaning.

Yeah, he's from Cardiff in Wales. Insane to have a welsh hero in a mainstream game, i'm so excited. I've watched all the trailers and everything.... I'm probably not gonna play the game for ages. Ideally i'd wanna play it on next gen consoles because the graphics look INSANE, but i'm probably not gonna get one anytime soon. And i usually play on my brothers xbox, but he's going to the army soon, so i might be adopting his xbox. I won't spoil any of the details, i'll just say the trailers look amazing


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## apx24

changeme77 said:


> You can, you just choose not to.


Why are there always replies like this when people come out about mental health issues? All this does is further the stigmatisation. The OP may be physically able to leave her house but it's hardly a choice if she's plagued by anxiety all the time is it?


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## Ellietot

apx24 said:


> Why are there always replies like this when people come out about mental health issues? All this does is further the stigmatisation. The OP may be physically able to leave her house but it's hardly a choice if she's plagued by anxiety all the time is it?


Thank you  I have a real mental illness so yeah, it is hard. It's not like I go on other peoples posts when they say about how nervous they are to speak to a girl they like and be like 'oh, there's much bigger problems in the world' or whatever. I've had so many replies that are like 'just do it' or 'you can do it, you don't want to' or 'it's not like you're blind or anything' I just don't understand the point in them. I thought this was meant to be a helpful site for people with anxiety, there's even one user, greensong or whoever who tried to suggest it was all my fault....

Been really down lately and did not need that


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## slider

for 2009-2011 i never left my house
what made me leave was the fiber optic cable connected me to the internet broke so i had to go outside to fix it. That took me a week because i had to go out one step further each time. Long story short i was able to get back on irc.


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