# Roommate Frustration



## Nightwing (Sep 7, 2006)

I'm nearing the end of the college semester and I'm finding that I'm becoming more annoyed with my roommate. My GPA kind of took a nosedive my freshman year (a 3.0, but I need to do much better to stay in the honors program) and I'm doing everything I can to bring it up this semester. Basically, I need to spend a good amount of time studying to maintain my grades, but it's difficult sometimes because of my roommate. She can be very talkative in a whiny/complaining kind of way and even when I'm clearly studying, she'll start talking to me. I don't want to be rude, so I listen to what she has to say and pretend to be interested. I'm just tired of her complaining about how she has a test maybe once every two weeks when I have tests and papers due pretty much every week. I was fortunate enough to have my own room last semester and I really miss the privacy/freedom I used to have. Now it's like I'm stressed 24/7. I was wondering if anyone else has ever had an annoying roommate and how they dealt with it.


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## King Moonracer (Oct 12, 2010)

I commute from college from home, and havr the distractions of a family and iy sucks. I probably have like a 2.80 ... My social anxiety is really effecting my grades. 

As for your problem, jusy listen to some music while you study. Thats what i do. Zone out of life and into whatever yoyr reading.


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## TheGambit (Nov 27, 2009)

Have you tried saying "Can I have some privacy? I need to study."

Or maybe you should go to the library.


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## Nightwing (Sep 7, 2006)

King Moonracer said:


> I commute from college from home, and havr the distractions of a family and iy sucks. I probably have like a 2.80 ... My social anxiety is really effecting my grades.
> 
> As for your problem, jusy listen to some music while you study. Thats what i do. Zone out of life and into whatever yoyr reading.


Music distracts me sometimes when I'm studying, but I do wear headphones sometimes just to pretend that I can't hear anything. It just backfires when I take them off because my ears are sore and my roommate comes in the room.


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## Nightwing (Sep 7, 2006)

TheGambit said:


> Have you tried saying "Can I have some privacy? I need to study."
> 
> Or maybe you should go to the library.


I go to the library, but it's not open all the time and I tend to be more comfortable studying in my room. I could ask for privacy, but people are always telling me I need to be more sociable and act friendly. I guess I'm just worried about being seen as rude/unsociable.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

I could never study at home, just go to library.


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## DoveAgain (May 22, 2010)

I remember my friend had the same problem with her roommate. She didn't like that her roommate would start talking to her every time she started studying. I also live with roommates and what I've noticed when people get bothered is that I think they're more bothered more by the others' intentions than the actual act. The first week, my roommate fell asleep just fine with all the lights and all the noise with my other roommates talking. Now, she doesn't fall asleep as easily and I think it's because she lets herself dwell on the thought and feel like others are doing it on purpose. That means it's not actually the noise or the lights that really keeps her awake, but it's her own emotions. I think the best thing is to just not let yourself get annoyed with it. I noticed with myself that it's only when I let it bother me that I start to get more annoyed about it, so I try not to let myself dwell on it on the first place. Maybe with your roommate, you can just try giving her shorter answers while still being polite, and then going right back to your work. I'm not really sure how my friend dealt with it, but I think she just ended up ignoring her after a while. I'm not sure if that would be the best way to handle it though because you don't want things to turn bad between you two since it will make everything else much harder. I would say to just try being really patient and tolerant toward her without pretending or forcing, and maybe everything else will come into place. I'm in the same spot where it's been a few months now and it's getting harder to stay patient with roommates. I just have to learn to deal with it positively though.


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## Antis (Nov 2, 2010)

Just say "urgh, I feel your pain... I have a lot of work too, I need to get my head down and hurry, it's in for tommorrow", and she should leave you alone.


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## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

I agree, if you whine along with her and show her how to be proactive about it it should shut her up. I mean, if she thinks you're stressed about your work I hope that'll make her back off. 

Or there's the nice approach of gently telling her that you really need to focus but you will need a break in an hour and can chat then. That way you get privacy but she doesn't feel neglected.


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## Dov (Dec 12, 2009)

The other option is to switch rooms for next semester Im not sure how your school works but I switched to a single in the apartment style on campus housing in the 24 hour quiet hours section and its much better for me

edit: I reread your original post and saw you already lived in a single last year so this may not be helpful at all


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## Rubisco (Nov 20, 2010)

Roommate drama is the worst. I'd say the best route is to study in the library or a study room in an academic building. In my and many others' experience, it makes for a more productive study session to remove yourself from the distractions (whatever they may be) in your room.


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## Nightwing (Sep 7, 2006)

Thanks for the advice everyone. I guess my best option is to study in the library or elsewhere so that I know I won't be interrupted/distracted. It just makes me feel like I'm being chased out of my room because I'm so used to having my own space. Junior year I'll definitely be applying for a single room in one of the quieter dorms.


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