# Found some tips on attraction



## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

http://www.wikihow.com/Attract-Any-Man

What do you think?


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

That article mostly gets it right, but it over-complicates the subject.

Be sexy, appear friendly, make good conversation. It really is that simple.


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## Neo1234 (Mar 6, 2012)

lol


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

mjkittredge said:


> That article mostly gets it right, but it over-complicates the subject.
> 
> Be sexy, appear friendly, make good conversation. It really is that simple.


Thank you for good advice.  By the way, could you please extend a little on how to be sexy? :blush


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

eveningbat said:


> Thank you for good advice.  By the way, could you please extend a little on how to be sexy? :blush


Sexy mostly comes from the thing people on here struggle with most - confidence.

Also from having your best appearance possible, dressed nicely, in good shape, all cleaned up.

And body language. Project the image that you are comfortable and happy even if you aren't. Posture, facial expressions, the way you move, the way you talk. All that can be sexy.

Talk with your eyes. And make little half smiles. Play with your hair. Be sensual and alive with the power of touch.


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## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

I think that this is something that has dawned on me a little. ... I have to appear confident in myself. eye contact, maybe little smile. and good honest conversation and a joke or two. But I think I would have to maintain balance, and not be over confident, because that may appear arrogance even though i;'d be nervous inside.

confidence is the sexy part.... if you are nervous , then you make that other person feel uneasy and nervous. nerves is a thing that rubs off easily. And I didn't even look at that link. if you are naturally very nervous, i imagine that its very hard to '' act '' out of it however.

i suppose also you need to somehow convey they idea. '' hey I am used to this and have done it before.'' when unfortunately lots of us haven't even been in a relation due to anxiety. 

I feel that could be difficult for me... to appear as if Ive done this lots, when i havent.


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

mjkittredge said:


> Sexy mostly comes from the thing people on here struggle with most - confidence.
> 
> Also from having your best appearance possible, dressed nicely, in good shape, all cleaned up.
> 
> ...


God, how beautiful.  Thank you. It is so pleasant to receive such guidance from a man.


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

KILOBRAVO said:


> I think that this is something that has dawned on me a little. ... I have to appear confident in myself. eye contact, maybe little smile. and good honest conversation and a joke or two. But I think I would have to maintain balance, and not be over confident, because that may appear arrogance even though i;'d be nervous inside.
> 
> confidence is the sexy part.... if you are nervous , then you make that other person feel uneasy and nervous. nerves is a thing that rubs off easily. And I didn't even look at that link. if you are naturally very nervous, i imagine that its very hard to '' act '' out of it however.
> 
> ...


Well, I think you already possess those features - you are confident, open, joyful and cheerful.


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## Hikikomori2014 (Sep 8, 2014)

I think this mostly applies to non SA attraction.
A woman that masters the tips in the link will 
likely thoroughly intimidate most SA men.


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## Zyriel (May 20, 2011)

eveningbat said:


> http://www.wikihow.com/Attract-Any-Man
> 
> What do you think?


I would say, just be yourself! Many people seek acceptance from others, but how can someone accept that which they don't even know is true? Relationships even friendships take on a life of their own. Here's a funny story about that, a couple both thought the other loved a certain type of food (yet both hated it secretly), and for 40+ years both acted like they loved it. The wife would go out of her way and make it for the husband, and the husband ate it because he thought the wife liked cooking it, and didn't want to hurt her feelings lol.

It happens in music, movies, along with other interests to the point of life becoming a day to day "act". Often times causing resentment, which is what usually happens after the "romance" dies down I presume lol lack of similar interests, or any connecting factor besides prior experiences together. People do change over time though as do their interests and mentalities through experiences in work, family, and factors outside the relationship. Without a foundation, there can be no house, without roots, no tree.


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

Zyriel said:


> I would say, just be yourself! Many people seek acceptance from others, but how can someone accept that which they don't even know is true? Relationships even friendships take on a life of their own. Here's a funny story about that, a couple both thought the other loved a certain type of food (yet both hated it secretly), and for 40+ years both acted like they loved it. The wife would go out of her way and make it for the husband, and the husband ate it because he thought the wife liked cooking it, and didn't want to hurt her feelings lol.
> 
> It happens in music, movies, along with other interests to the point of life becoming a day to day "act". Often times causing resentment, which is what usually happens after the "romance" dies down I presume lol lack of similar interests, or any connecting factor besides prior experiences together. People do change over time though as do their interests and mentalities through experiences in work, family, and factors outside the relationship. Without a foundation, there can be no house, without roots, no tree.


Oh, it is strange they didn't ask each other's preferences about the food.


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## Zyriel (May 20, 2011)

eveningbat said:


> Oh, it is strange they didn't ask each other's preferences about the food.


Yes it is LOL what makes it so funny haha something so simple. Might be a cultural thing, the couple was east Asian lol women are often really submissive since most is still a patriarchal society @[email protected] Plus they also had an icky arranged marriage lol, which honestly could be the reason why !


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## TeddyAllen (Oct 20, 2014)

Be confident about yourself, I think that's the key point!
When you're confident, you're beautiful and attractive in any way.


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

TeddyAllen said:


> Be confident about yourself, I think that's the key point!
> When you're confident, you're beautiful and attractive in any way.


I know but there is a strange thing - if I like a guy I can't feel confident around him.  I am melting.


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## peachypeach (Oct 9, 2014)

they're great tips.


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## Stiofain (Jul 13, 2014)

You'll always attract a guy with a smile. Easy peasy. Puts everyone at ease and lets you shine through. Some deep breathing before you use that  in you'll bag a man. Or at least be chatting to the opposite sex...


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## seeking777 (Oct 24, 2012)

mjkittredge said:


> Sexy mostly comes from the thing people on here struggle with most - confidence.
> 
> Also from having your best appearance possible, dressed nicely, in good shape, all cleaned up.
> 
> ...


I think I'm starting to understand what's being said here and in the other replies. The part about being sexy and confident. How I'm thinking about it is to be sexy you need to believe that you can be or are sexy, that you have it in you, the ability to be attractive, to be desirable.

And then to feel sexy you look your best appearance wise as was already said. And then when you know you look good that can begin to put that confidence in how you carry yourself because you feel good. Like when I wear my favorite pair of skinny jeans I know how great my body looks in them and so I walk a little different because I feel good in them.

And then maybe doing something, hobby I suppose that fulfills you or listening to some music, that makes you feel good so it comes more naturally to smile, play with your hair and move like you're happy and feeling great about yourself. That's what I interpreted from some of these replies.

But I know for me actually practicing this will take some time because I am usually nervous too around a guy I find attractive and people in general. So, getting to actually act these out will be a step by step process. Can't go from 0 to 60 in a day but I can take it one step at a time until I get there.


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## TeddyAllen (Oct 20, 2014)

eveningbat said:


> I know but there is a strange thing - if I like a guy I can't feel confident around him.  I am melting.


lol, I would melt too if I'm around some guy I like. 
But my point is that don't be too shy, just act as normal as you would do. Show him your charm, what you're good at, your strength.


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

TeddyAllen said:


> lol, I would melt too if I'm around some guy I like.
> But my point is that don't be too shy, just act as normal as you would do. Show him your charm, what you're good at, your strength.


Thank you, it is so cute.


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## bloodymary (Apr 26, 2009)

I don´t want to attract any men, I feel best when they leave me alone.


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## Nylea (Aug 7, 2014)

First of all: Some things the article says are disturbing...such as "Keep a journal where you can highlight some of your strengths as a person to make you _*feel that you are*_ _*worthy of a man's attention*_"...Never do this. You are definitely worthy of anyone's attention, and you don't need to remind or convince yourself of that.

Secondly...honestly, "faking it 'til you make it" just isn't good advice, in my opinion. Exuding a false sense of confidence at first may help you for a bit, but in the end, you can't hide what type of person you are. I suppose it would also depend on whether you're seeking a fling or a long-term relationship. When I first met my boyfriend, I tried to show confidence because I thought I needed to so he would be attracted to me. Turns out, we got lucky -- a month into our relationship, I realized that he was faking his confidence initially, too. We both have SA, and two years later we still laugh about how silly we were acting. I believe that if he turned out to be the outgoing guy he seemed to be, the relationship would have ended pretty quickly, since I would have had a great deal of pressure to keep up the act.

Some of the points in this article are indeed valid, such as changing small aspects of your appearance (makeup, outfits, etc.) or being hygienic, but my point is that your personality should never be altered in this process. If you were to follow the article's advice in full, you may come off as robotic, so do whatever feels natural to you.


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