# Girls: Would you date a "nice guy"?



## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

- He buys you gifts and flowers all the time
- He tells you how beautiful you are on a regular basis
- If you are about to have an argument, he agrees with your point of view, to make sure you don't get angry. 
- Your well-being is a priority over his.
- Other women are not interested in him, which is why he treats you like gold. He doesn't have other options.

So, would you be interested?


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## tigerlilly (Mar 30, 2009)

No. And I don't think "nice" is really the right word for that type of behavior. First, agreeing just so you won't get mad is not healthy. And neither is putting your well-being above his. Besides that, it kind of makes being treated well (if that could be called being treated well) meaningless if you know it's only because you're his only option, you know?


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## Donnie in the Dark (Mar 15, 2011)

Doesn't really sound "nice" to me.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

YES, I would. I mean that. Unlike a lot of girls, I like nice guys. I prefer nice guys. Mean and bad boys are unattractive to me. Very.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

inb4 gender war!


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## Brasilia (Aug 23, 2012)




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## kiirby (Oct 8, 2010)

No, insecurity isn't attractive, whether it presents itself like this or in the incessant vocalisation of what you think women like. 

I'm sorry, I mean WOMEN ONLY LIKE HIGH-STATUS MALES.


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## O Range (Feb 11, 2013)

That's full doormat, specifically agreeing just to get out of a fight and putting her above yourself. You would only attract the worst women that way.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

I don't see why not, just so long as he doesn't put me on a pedastal constantly, and argues with me once in a while~ arguing can be rather fun after all xD


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

I WOULD  But I dont need flowers, I take cool pc games instead.......

I feel oblieged to answer, it seems anti men if you only ask girls


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

TPower said:


> - He buys you gifts and flowers all the time
> - He tells you how beautiful you are on a regular basis
> - If you are about to have an argument, he agrees with your point of view, to make sure you don't get angry.
> - Your well-being is a priority over his.
> ...


Not a female but if I was, my ***** would dry up with a boy like that. 
- Buying gifts and flowers all the time? A relationship is supposed to be an equal partnership. 
-It's nice to tell a woman that she is beautiful but there is a point where it's "alright, enough already". 
-Agreeing with your girlfriend to avoid an argument. That's not authentic. That's either supplicating and/or desperate. Pick one. Or maybe both in some cases.
- Prioritizing her well-being over his. Once again, relationships are equal partnerships. This stems from a stone age "chivalrous" belief that a man is more disposable than a woman and that it is a man's duty to sacrifice himself for his lady. Guys who believe in this stuff don't get the girl unless she has traditional values.
- The last part reaks of desperation. Women want their man to treat her like she's the only woman in the room when there clearly are other women in the room. If you get what I'm saying. She wants to be made to feel special. It makes a girl feel special when you choose her over all the other girls. Not when you date her because you feel like you can't do better. The last time I really fell for a girl, I had no desire to look at any other woman.


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## Jelly Belly (Feb 10, 2013)

I would never date a nice guy. First of all, nice guys usually only like girls who are already in relationships or openly attracted to other men. If I were in a relationship, I wouldn't cheat. If were already attracted to someone else, flowers and compliments would not make me lose interest in that other person. Plus, nice guys never make their romantic intentions clear by using words like "date", so I likely would not even be aware of his interest. My gay best friend sometimes pays for me, tells me that I am pretty, and listens to my problems. I don't go assuming that he wants to date me. That is not how you get a girlfriend.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

TPower said:


> - He buys you gifts and flowers all the time
> - He tells you how beautiful you are on a regular basis
> - If you are about to have an argument, he agrees with your point of view, to make sure you don't get angry.
> - Your well-being is a priority over his.
> ...


Probably the biggest turn off of them all. I had to learn the hard way that being single and available is not a turn on.


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## Isabelle50 (Nov 19, 2012)

TPower said:


> - He buys you gifts and flowers all the time
> - He tells you how beautiful you are on a regular basis
> - *If you are about to have an argument, he agrees with your point of view, to make sure you don't get angry. *
> - Your well-being is a priority over his.
> ...


Definitely not. The unbolded would be fine (some might be nice - like being told I am beautiful). I wouldn't expect to be a someones priority over themselves but its a sweet gesture if occasionally both sides put the other first. The bolded though.... big problems. I don't want to be with someone who won't stand up for what he believes. I'm not always right and I want someone to challenge me. Also for him to agree _just_ to avoid conflict, doesn't seem particularly healthy or a good foundation for a relationship.

Finally the last one. I really don't care if other women are interested, it would be completely fine if they weren't. BUT I don't want to date someone who is into me _only _because he has no other options. Who does all those things for me not because he thinks I'm awesome but because he thinks I'm just the only piece of *** he could get. What happens when another girl makes a pass or he has the ability to 'trade up'? What happens to my self-respect when I realize that he's not actually into _me_ at all....

I would like to date a nice guy (I don't have any interest in bad boys or jerks). But I want to date someone who respects himself and respects me too and is into me because he thinks I'm great... not because I'm the only random girl who would **** him.


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## Implicate (Feb 1, 2011)

TPower said:


> - He buys you gifts and flowers all the time
> - He tells you how beautiful you are on a regular basis
> - If you are about to have an argument, he agrees with your point of view, to make sure you don't get angry.
> - Your well-being is a priority over his.
> ...


No, I want equality in a relationship, not some weakling that caves to me to sate me. I am my top priority, as should you be yours.

What you describe sounds more like a mindless minion than a partner.


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)




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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

TPower said:


> - Other women are not interested in him, which is why he treats you like gold. He doesn't have other options.


This doesn't sound very "nice".

So I'm guessing we're not actually talking about genuine nice guys? We're actually talking about desperate guys who put on the nice facade? I would want to date a nice guy, but the quoted part is not nice, it would be very insulting if it were true. I don't want someone to be with me simply because no one else will be with him.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

TPower said:


> - If you are about to have an argument, he agrees with your point of view, to make sure you don't get angry.


Yeah, right. That's actually a very manipulative thing to do. Not so nice, nice guy.

And the other points.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Monroee said:


> I don't want someone to be with me simply because no one else will be with him.


I definitely agree that you should find somebody that likes you for who you are and not just because you're the only one giving him attention.
But.. It's hard to be in the other person's shoes sometimes. I've had girls who didn't trust that I actually liked them because I didn't have good experiences from the past, they insisted I only liked them because I had no other options which wasn't true and they used that as justification for why they wouldn't want to be with me.
I don't know how I can ever prove to a girl I like her for her in that way. It's almost the same problem as being faulted for having been in love with others in the past - how can you help that?
But just to say that I think people sometimes are too quick to judge the motivations of others and not be interested if somebody doesn't have a lot of other people they talk to.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

> - If you are about to have an argument, he agrees with your point of view, to make sure you don't get angry.


Everything but this part would be okay. I want someone with a personality, not a fake.


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

No one finds a push-over attractive. Lots of women are attracted to guys that make them chase them, so they feel like they are getting or winning something for their efforts. That seems to be basic human psychology. Take away a treat or toy from a kid and that becomes the most important thing in the world to that kid.


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

nooooooooooooooooooo nice guy will never get the girl


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

In addition to what has been said...



> - He buys you gifts and flowers all the time


Why, because he knows women are materialistic and shallow and care about little else?



> - He tells you how beautiful you are on a regular basis


If a girl is insecure about her looks, what matters is what she thinks about herself. There's nothing more irritating than a guy thinking his personal opinion should be taken into account in how a girl perceives herself.



> - Your well-being is a priority over his.


This person obviously has issues. If he doesn't know how to take care of himself, how is he supposed to take care of someone else?


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

Being a 'pushover' is not something distinct from being nice, as some people are implying. Niceness, at its most fundamental level, means suppressing your own needs to some extent in order to respect the needs of someone else. The degree to which someone is nice is the degree to which they suppress their own needs for the sake of another. So a 'pushover' is just someone who is near one end of a continuum of niceness. They are more nice than someone who 'stands up for himself'. So it's unfair to always try to read something sinister into someone who is a so-called pushover. 'Pushover' nice and 'regular' nice are not different species.

Also, I am the kind of person who would give in to someone's point of view in order not to have an argument (depending on the subject). I really don't think that makes me less nice. I have compassion for people, and I don't want to direct harsh words at someone (unless they are a total jerk) just to win an argument. I'm putting aside my own needs (to win) in order to respect someone else's feelings. Why would someone look down on me for that? You can say that it's not good for ME because the other person might take advantage of me, but why the need for the suspicion and saying that I'm being a 'fake nice guy', when I'm really being nicer than the so-called 'real nice guys'?


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

TPower said:


> - He buys you gifts and flowers all the time
> - He tells you how beautiful you are on a regular basis
> - If you are about to have an argument, he agrees with your point of view, to make sure you don't get angry.
> - Your well-being is a priority over his.
> ...


No. I would not. Because all that behavior is not classified under "nice" it's just needy and overattentive. Giving me compliments and gifts on a regular basis, like all the time? Meh, no thank you, that would get very tired very quickly. And just agreeing with my point of view so I don't get pissed off would just piss me off, that's passive and weak of him. And my well-being over his? God no. And all this because he can't get any other vag? God, that sounds like the most pathetic relationship I could imagine.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Troll thread: 6/10

OP: Next time try for a less obvious approach.


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## ImWeird (Apr 26, 2010)

Ugh, I hate nice guys.


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## nullptr (Sep 21, 2012)

Incoming fire, hit the decks, lieutenant damage report. Aye let's get out of here before more casualties.


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## strugglingforhope (Jun 13, 2009)

You shouldn't do favors for someone when you're not getting the same type of favors in return, or else you're implying you're supposed to get sex in return. It's not nice to be making someone 'indebted' to you, when the basis of relationships should be on equal ground. That's what i think anyway.


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## cafune (Jan 11, 2011)

TPower said:


> - He buys you gifts and flowers all the time


That'd make me uncomfortable.


> - He tells you how beautiful you are on a regular basis


It devalues compliments when they're offered so readily.


> - If you are about to have an argument, he agrees with your point of view, to make sure you don't get angry.


That would frustrate me. It's almost condescending, like agreeing with a child in order to placate them. Probably not how it was intended, though.


> - Your well-being is a priority over his.


No, that's unhealthy. He's not my parent.


> - Other women are not interested in him, which is why he treats you like gold. He doesn't have other options.


Whoa, no. That's uh, manipulative and desperate. Not interested in being someone's last resort.

All in all, not the type you've described.


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## sophia44 (Feb 23, 2013)

Yes I would, if he treats me nicely.


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## The Phantom Pain (Oct 6, 2010)

TPower said:


> - He buys you gifts and flowers all the time
> - He tells you how beautiful you are on a regular basis
> - If you are about to have an argument, he agrees with your point of view, to make sure you don't get angry.
> - Your well-being is a priority over his.
> ...


As I always say T, you're confusing "Nice" with "Timid" and submissive. No woman wants a guy that wares a dress.

For instance, I'm sure a man like Will Smith is nice to his wife in many ways, but he's not doing it because he's cowering in fear at the site of women and always agreeing with her to avoid conflict.You really need to learn the difference.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Nope.


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## Daveyboy (Jan 13, 2013)

Horrible examples of nice...Girls like nice guys...not doormats


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## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

Ape in space said:


> Being a 'pushover' is not something distinct from being nice, as some people are implying. Niceness, at its most fundamental level, means suppressing your own needs to some extent in order to respect the needs of someone else. The degree to which someone is nice is the degree to which they suppress their own needs for the sake of another. So a 'pushover' is just someone who is near one end of a continuum of niceness. They are more nice than someone who 'stands up for himself'. So it's unfair to always try to read something sinister into someone who is a so-called pushover. 'Pushover' nice and 'regular' nice are not different species.
> 
> Also, I am the kind of person who would give in to someone's point of view in order not to have an argument (depending on the subject). I really don't think that makes me less nice. I have compassion for people, and I don't want to direct harsh words at someone (unless they are a total jerk) just to win an argument. I'm putting aside my own needs (to win) in order to respect someone else's feelings. Why would someone look down on me for that? You can say that it's not good for ME because the other person might take advantage of me, but why the need for the suspicion and saying that I'm being a 'fake nice guy', when I'm really being nicer than the so-called 'real nice guys'?


You're an underrated user. I agree 100%.


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## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

See, the funny part is, the replies in this thread will probably fuel the OP's fire.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

InfiniteBlaze said:


> You're an underrated user. I agree 100%.


I've never underrated his apeish beauty.


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## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

diamondheart89 said:


> I've never underrated his apeish beauty.


I find that Ape's posts are often ignored. He usually makes far more sense than most of the people who reply to almost any given thread.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

InfiniteBlaze said:


> I find that Ape's posts are often ignored. He usually makes far more sense than most of the people who reply to any given thread.


His posts are most likely ignored because he makes so much sense that the lower lifeforms around here cannot come up with a sufficiently convincing retort. Considering he's not a woman so that excuse can't be used. :lol


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## loneranger (Dec 29, 2012)

kiirby said:


> No, insecurity isn't attractive, whether it presents itself like this or in the incessant vocalisation of what you think women like.
> 
> I'm sorry, I mean WOMEN ONLY LIKE HIGH-STATUS MALES.


I agree with you.


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## The Phantom Pain (Oct 6, 2010)

InfiniteBlaze said:


> You're an underrated user. I agree 100%.


That was profound, but let's be honest here, that isn't the "nice" that gets girls or anything for that matter. I bet even Bill Gates, a guy that has donated billions to charity, isn't even "nice" like that.

And can can you imagine being with someone that's more concerned with being "nice" to be himself? Not only is would it not be fun, but those types of guys hold in a lot of their emotions and would most likely be the main guys beating the **** out of women behind closed doors.

That type of niceness just isn't natural, especially with some peoples behavior nowadays.


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## loneranger (Dec 29, 2012)

My opinion, however, lately girls tend to like losers as well.


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## TheTraveler (Jan 31, 2013)

If he is actually nice than other women would like him. So he isnt nice.


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## changeme77 (Feb 22, 2013)

I wonder if the OP was describing himself? If so, he just got pawned lol.


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## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

TheTraveler said:


> If he is actually nice than other women would like him. So he isnt nice.


This post is so wrong it's not even funny. You don't get girls just because you're nice. It's possible to be nice and not have any girl want to touch you with a ten foot pole. A guy's ability to attract women has nothing to do with how nice or mean he is. I've seen nice guys who get girls and I've seen pricks who get girls. There are forever alones who are nice and there are forever alones who are pricks.

Honestly, a guy's ability to get women is related to factors outside of his control such as gentics.


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## TheTraveler (Jan 31, 2013)

InfiniteBlaze said:


> This post is so wrong it's not even funny. You don't get girls just because you're nice. It's possible to be nice and not have any girl want to touch you with a ten foot pole. A guy's ability to attract women has nothing to do with how nice or mean he is. I've seen nice guys who get girls and I've seen pricks who get girls. There are forever alones who are nice and there are forever alones who are pricks.
> 
> Honestly, a guy's ability to get women is related to factors outside of his control such as gentics.


I am a sucker for a nice guy. But genuine nice guys have a bunch of friends. If they aren't liked much in town or much isn't said then stay away. There is always a good reason!


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## bananafanafo (Jan 31, 2013)

TPower said:


> - He buys you gifts and flowers all the time
> - He tells you how beautiful you are on a regular basis
> - If you are about to have an argument, he agrees with your point of view, to make sure you don't get angry.
> - Your well-being is a priority over his.
> ...


i married the nice guy, granted he didn't use to be so nice. he was a bit of a playa back in the day before we met! things change, though. 
my hubby is awesome.

he tells me how much he loves me every day, does little things that make me happy, he puts my needs over his...but the whole "agreeing with my point of view" thing is totally wrong. if he doesn't agree with me on something, he sure as hell lets me know. he'll flat-out tell me i'm wrong, and i appreciate that


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## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

TheTraveler said:


> I am a sucker for a nice guy. But genuine nice guys have a bunch of friends. If they aren't liked much in town or much isn't said then stay away. There is always a good reason!


Again, being nice will not guarantee lots of people will like you. People may dislike you because you're quiet or ugly or because of the clothes you wear. You never know.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

Many times, a nice person will be taken advantage of.


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## 9mm (Feb 12, 2013)

Women don't want a neutered "nice man." They want a socially dominant man- a man who takes command. Any woman that says otherwise is either a liar, has a chemical imbalance, or is a feminist(a filthy beast indeed).


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I don't like guys who take command. That would be annoying.


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## TheTraveler (Jan 31, 2013)

InfiniteBlaze said:


> Again, being nice will not guarantee lots of people will like you. People may dislike you because you're quiet or ugly or because of the clothes you wear. You never know.


oh please. It is a good genuine assumption. We are talking broad, not the "nice guys" that kill by night. Nobody is every like by EVERYONE. lets not nit pick.


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

TheTraveler said:


> oh please. It is a good genuine assumption. We are talking broad, not the "nice guys" that kill by night. Nobody is every like by EVERYONE. lets not nit pick.


http://www.cracked.com/article_20072_5-insignificant-things-that-determine-if-someone-likes-you.html

# 4 and 5


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

9mm said:


> Women don't want a neutered "nice man." They want a socially dominant man- a man who takes command. Any woman that says otherwise is either a liar, has a chemical imbalance, or is a feminist(a filthy beast indeed).


How cute. EVERBADI WHO DOESN'T AGREE WITH ME IS CRAZY. OR AN ALIEN.

must be nice to live under that delsion. :lol


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

InfiniteBlaze said:


> I find that Ape's posts are often ignored. He usually makes far more sense than most of the people who reply to almost any given thread.


Ape in Space really is one of my favourite posters. He usually makes a lot of sense and seems to keep a clear head even in heated discussions.



TheTraveler said:


> I am a sucker for a nice guy. But genuine nice guys have a bunch of friends. If they aren't liked much in town or much isn't said then stay away. There is always a good reason!


Because popularity is the best measurement for the worth of a person..
I've met plenty of really nice and great people who've had problems with isolation. I'd rather spend time with them than the popular kids who spend their time bullying others.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

komorikun said:


> I don't like guys who take command. That would be annoying.


proof that women are individuals. What a concept! Lol.

PUA make the assumption that women are passive and that a guy has to take charge with everything. It's so wrong.


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## solasum (Nov 17, 2008)

_No, not by those criteria._

- He buys you gifts and flowers all the time
_Flowers are a waste of money._
- He tells you how beautiful you are on a regular basis
_That's just too much. Maybe every so often, but to constantly hear it would really be annoying._
- If you are about to have an argument, he agrees with your point of view, to make sure you don't get angry. 
_There need to be debates._
- Your well-being is a priority over his.
_Fine, but he needs to watch over his own well-being, too._
- Other women are not interested in him, which is why he treats you like gold. He doesn't have other options.
_Why aren't other women into him? I wouldn't want to date someone who wanted to date me solely because he couldn't get anyone else._


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

phoenixwright said:


> proof that women are individuals. What a concept! Lol.
> 
> PUA make the assumption that women are passive and that a guy has to take charge with everything. It's so wrong.


obvious, most of PUAs theories are wrong or only made for a small part of male population while betraying the other part that they would benefit from it too - but thats to make money :sus


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## Metal_Heart (Feb 11, 2009)

phoenixwright said:


> Not a female but if I was, my ***** would dry up with a boy like that.
> - Buying gifts and flowers all the time? A relationship is supposed to be an equal partnership.
> -It's nice to tell a woman that she is beautiful but there is a point where it's "alright, enough already".
> -Agreeing with your girlfriend to avoid an argument. That's not authentic. That's either supplicating and/or desperate. Pick one. Or maybe both in some cases.
> ...


So true. It's not a compliment to be made to feel as if you're only with me because you can't get anyone else or get anyone better. It would be a huge kick in the gut to hear that from a boyfriend. 
A woman needs to feel special, like you want her for a damn good reason not just because nobody else was interested and she was the only option left.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Pickup can work sometimes, but most of the time it is generalized sexism.


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

WUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSYYYYYY. 

Ahem, excuse me. 

Actually, I have a question for ladies (Or guys, if you wish to contribute). If a guy compliments you infrequently (Every now and then, not every single day) would it make those compliments feel more genuine? Making exaggerated over the top comments all the time feels sort of fake to me.


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## Metal_Heart (Feb 11, 2009)

Rixy said:


> WUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSYYYYYY.
> 
> Ahem, excuse me.
> 
> Actually, I have a question for ladies (Or guys, if you wish to contribute). If a guy compliments you infrequently (Every now and then, not every single day) would it make those compliments feel more genuine? Making exaggerated over the top comments all the time feels sort of fake to me.


Hmmm, it depends on the individual I guess. I get quite paranoid if compliments are rare, it kinda feels to me like I'm not really that good enough but perhaps that's my own fault and my own insecurities presenting themselves. Sure, fake compliments are pointless, but a little "you look nice" or "dinner was lovely, cheers" would be a treat to hear more than once every fortnight


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## Paragon (Apr 13, 2010)

I would say anything that's infrequent increases in meaning when you do say it. I mean, if someone says I love you everytime you end a conversation it doesn't really mean much.. if they say it after a few weeks during an intimate moment or at the end of an emotional conversation then it means far more, right?

I don't see what the problem is with letting a girl know you think she's gorgeous though, I mean if it's not over the top ridiculous. But I'm no bloody expert on this stuff so who knows, lol.


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## northstar1991 (Oct 4, 2011)

No, but I don't want an "alpha male" either.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

From my experience, women generally don't care one way or the other about compliments.

And it's the same with general niceness. You are "expected" to be nice. You shouldn't be rewarded for it. Just be a nice human being. That's not what relationships are formed on.


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## peril (Jan 7, 2012)

Only if I actually think they are. I find that most people who describe themselves as nice aren't really.


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## enfield (Sep 4, 2010)

InfiniteBlaze said:


> You're an underrated user. I agree 100%.


i think by the people who do recognize him he is appreciated a lot. there is a frequency issue where one has to stay around sas long enough to see enough of his posts to really like him.



Ape in space said:


> Being a 'pushover' is not something distinct from being nice, as some people are implying. Niceness, at its most fundamental level, means suppressing your own needs to some extent in order to respect the needs of someone else. The degree to which someone is nice is the degree to which they suppress their own needs for the sake of another. So a 'pushover' is just someone who is near one end of a continuum of niceness. They are more nice than someone who 'stands up for himself'. So it's unfair to always try to read something sinister into someone who is a so-called pushover. 'Pushover' nice and 'regular' nice are not different species.
> 
> Also, I am the kind of person who would give in to someone's point of view in order not to have an argument (depending on the subject). I really don't think that makes me less nice. I have compassion for people, and I don't want to direct harsh words at someone (unless they are a total jerk) just to win an argument. I'm putting aside my own needs (to win) in order to respect someone else's feelings. Why would someone look down on me for that? You can say that it's not good for ME because the other person might take advantage of me, but why the need for the suspicion and saying that I'm being a 'fake nice guy', when I'm really being nicer than the so-called 'real nice guys'?


the suspicion is maybe from not understanding how someone could sacrifice their needs like that for someone else without it being a part of some calculation. it is a simple projection of their not-niceness onto you because _your_ niceness is unfathomable to them.

and they might even know personally what it's like to be a fake nice guy, which would make accusing you of being one that much more obvious to them. they might have practice being parasites, and being submissive at first and being very nice in order to get the girl to be committed and dependent on them, at which point they can, having captured the prize, turn around and drop the nice act and use the girl to satisfy _their_ needs (which was the plan all along).

but you, being the ape that you are, aren't like that one bit.


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## Paperwalls (Feb 26, 2013)

Yes if they were genuinely nice, as others have said.

Recognize I'm just a person. I don't need to be treated like a queen or put on a pedestal. If I want to date you, it's because I enjoy your company, your conversation, our common interests, how we get along... you can be nice but treat me as a person, not someone to worship. That's sort of creepy to me.

A lot of times self-proclaimed "nice guys" do nice things for women because they want sex, and then turn around and say nasty things if she rejects them or won't sleep with them. That's... well, definitely not really "nice" behavior. Doesn't happen with everyone but it's a fairly common scenario, and most men don't realize it or see it.

Also, yes. No need to be a doormat. If you agree with me all the time and don't want to make me mad, conversation will get pretty boring after a while. Disagreements and debates don't mean we'll constantly fight or end up hating each other.

Be your own person. Don't devote every waking moment to making me happy. Enjoy spending time with me but live your own life! No need to be clingy. Have your own friends, go out with them without me. Don't need to spend every minute with me either. Communication and compromise is important. I am my own person and I want you to be your own person, even if we are in a relationship.

You're not perfect. Neither am I. We won't always agree. 
I think of it like the end of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind...



> Joel: I don't see anything I don't like about you.
> Clementine: But you will!


^Absolute truth. Being with someone means you accept them AND their flaws, and accept that they aren't perfect. And neither are you.

I think the real absolute definition of "nice" would be: treat someone with respect, and how you would want to be treated. Nice doesn't equal being a doormat or allowing yourself to be taken advantage of.


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