# As an atheist, when people say "I will pray for you"...



## spaceygirl

..how would you respond to that?

I find it kind of offensive, my mom who knows I'm atheist, said this to me the other day. I've been going through health issues, and we were talking on the phone and she's like "Well, I feel bad and I will pray for you...." WTF??? Not only is that rather rude, it makes me sound like I'm on my deathbed which I am not. Shes not super-religious and doesn't usually make such statements, which is why it was weird, but I guess she still holds catholic beliefs because of how she was raised (years ago, she even said to me she basically only believes in god cause that's how she grew up. Hard to respect someone's belief in god when that's their justification :no)

Anyways, I was like uh.....*silence*....ok but I'm not dying or anything. And then she said oh I know but when my facebook friends say prayers on their facebook the people always seem to get better! So I said...well thanks. I'm sure I'll be fine..gotta go!

It was pretty weird. I love my mom but she's not the most critical thinker, she's always posting chain letter stuff on her facebook and then shocked when someone tells her once again, it's not true. So I kind of just humour her even though I was kind of upset and wanted to say something like thank you, but I don't believe in god so that's not necessary. I feel like there's some things that it is going against my own beliefs to humour her on, including giving her the impression I am now religious or something, and whatever can of worms that could open.

How would you respond?


----------



## Brad

Although I think the concept of "praying" is the equivalent of someone talking to an imaginary friend, i'll take it as a kind gesture and move on.


----------



## duckie

i don't think you need to respond to that statement at all. i don't believe it would offend me and i would probably just remain silent until she said something else or steer the conversation into another direction.


----------



## life01

imho it depends how its meant, if its said in a kind thoughtful way, to me thats ok, to me its meaningless anyway= so id probably just say thanks


----------



## spaceygirl

Brad5 said:


> Although I think the concept of "praying" is the equivalent of someone talking to an imaginary friend, i'll take it as a kind gesture and move on.


Yea that's basically my thinking. I guess I might be construing it as more than it was meant because it's my mom and she's kind of manipulative (i.e. she seems to like trying to control my actions and play me against my other family members). She's always trying to push new diets and sh** on me and I don't think I could tolerate it if the next thing she's trying to push on me is religion, if that's her latest fad of the month. And it always starts insidiously, with the "I'll pray for yous" and the next thing you know, she'll be sending me bibles. Our relationship is strained enough as it is from events in the last year or so and I think this is my fear, because I know I just can't tolerate that if thats the case. But I guess I'm getting ahead of myself


----------



## spaceygirl

life01 said:


> imho it depends how its meant, if its said in a kind thoughtful way, to me thats ok, to me its meaningless anyway= so id probably just say thanks


Yea, that makes sense. I think thanks is the best response. Thanks doesn't have to equal agreement or approval right  Now, if it ever became "will you pray with me?" _that's_ another story!


----------



## life01

you could say thanks in a sarcastic way, so she knows how you feel


----------



## Archaeron

My mother always burns a candle when I have an exam. Just like with praying I find it weird that they think that'll help, but it also shows that they want to support you. So I think it's rather the opposite of being rude.


----------



## Brasilia

Brad5 said:


> Although I think the concept of "praying" is the equivalent of someone talking to an imaginary friend, i'll take it as a kind gesture and move on.


There is a common misconception, particularly amongst people in America, where the rule is worshipping an idol or god, that prayer simply involves talking to that imaginary man who lurks way up there somewhere. For instance, I pray for my own well being through contemplation (or meditation if you like). Though, like you, I'd take it as a kind gesture.


----------



## enfield

i think praying for someone has a lot of emotional significance. like, you're telling me someone's going to THINK OF ME even when i'm not even next to them. that they're going to have ME in their thoughts when they have no obligation to. why, that's so nice, it shows they really care. 

and can't a lot of us relate. haven't we all cared about someone enough that, when we knew they had a difficult day ahead of them, or some unpleasant thing they had to face, or were going through a tough time, that we naturally thought of them, and hoped everything would be okay for them? if you know what it's like to pray for someone in that way than to think that someone would feel that way about you would mean A LOT. i would guess that prayers for one another, as they have been customary or existed in human society, have always been founded on the compassion that the action shows. the stories about what praying can actually do for someone, how it can actually change the course of events, and so on, that was secondary, it only added to the meaning that prayer had, but only for a some people (it was always in a lot of people's nature to not accept the preternatural component to prayer, since one doesn't need to be educated or anything to see that such ridiculous ideas don't fit with ones observations of the world, however limited they were. one just has to have some amount of sense). and so without the other ways prayer had meaning to people, like by seeming like such a such a nice thing to do for someone, or to have done for you, i think it's fairly obvious that the tradition would never have been so successful or enduring.


----------



## oubliette

spaceygirl said:


> As an atheist, when people say "I will pray for you", how would you respond to that?


It depends on whether a person is praying for me because I am areligious (in which case s/he likely thinks my soul is headed to Hell, and that is what s/he is really connoting by her/his statement), or if it is simply her/his way of expressing well-wishes for my healthy and happiness, in which case it's as nice a thought as any I suppose- it wouldn't really be different from someone saying that s/he hopes things will go well for me.

I do find that when people use the expression "have a blessed day", seven times out of ten it is something insincere they say when they are bitter, and what they are really saying is "**** you" or "I hope something bad happens to you." Either way, I thank them for their well-wishes; for the people who are sincere, it's a polite response, and for the people who are insincere, it will just irk them more.


----------



## anonymid

I would just say thanks. I'd be appreciative that they're thinking about me.


----------



## diamondheart89

I don't think it's a situation where she was trying to make you uncomfortable and I would let it go. People try to express they care and want you to get better in all kinds of ways. I'm not religious but my mom is and if she says stuff like that I just ignore it. Making it a bigger deal than it is will only make you look bad. The important thing here is that she cares for you.


Like sometimes at my job there are people who are dying and their families want everyone to participate in a religious ritual like praying to Jesus or whatever. I am not a Christian or religious but I will bow my head and have a moment of silence anyway because it makes them feel better. It doesn't cost me anything and it builds trust and relieves their emotional pain somewhat. Kindness is always the way to go.


----------



## Dark Alchemist

Say: "Thanks, I'll sacrifice a small goat in your honor in return."

Seriously though, so many time its seems that “We’ll pray for you” is Christianese for “**** YOU!” Usually in a debate or argument context, of course.

I get the feeling the person you were talking sounded genuine. Sure its awkward to hear something like that when you don't buy into prayer, but I just remind myself a lot of people simply don't know any better.


----------



## Vuldoc

If they say it without knowing I'm atheist then I just brush it off but if for instance I tell them I am atheist and their response to that is "I will pray for you" I just get mad and would rather not have to interact with them ever again.


----------



## markwalters2

I would tell them to give me cash instead.


----------



## enfield

does anyone want a prayer. if you are christian i will send a prayer your way~. and if you're an atheist you'll get two. two prayers.


----------



## Resonance

Of course I reply 'Thanks, I will sacrifice a virgin to Cthulhu for you' and move on.


----------



## Still Waters

I'm not an atheist,so my opinion may not be welcome-but oh well.- If I were in your place I'd think of it as someone is sending good wishes and kind thoughts out into the world on my behalf. How can that possibly be a bad thing?


----------



## Lemonmonger

Yeah, it's just a kind gesture. I think it's silly for someone to get upset over something like 'I'll pray for you' or 'I don't believe in God'. Unless someone random is trying to baptize you in a sewer and praying for your release from Satan, just move on. You don't even have to thank them if you don't want to be nice. 
Telling someone you don't believe in God (publicly and unprovoked) and getting bothered by their saying that is silly as well. 'I don't believe in God, but I appreciate the gesture' is acceptable. I hate reading or hearing stories about people ranting on about how it annoys them and the arguement that followed. Now, if they push that crap on you, by all means, let loose. But if it's a simple comment and left at that, no biggie. 

In high school, I was walking to the store to buy lunch and it was the day the churchmen were offering students those cute little orange bible things. I was curious about what was in it so I started reading. The group ahead of me started making fun and saying I was "the pastor's daughter" and the goofy looking 'gay' guy threw the book in the dirt and stomped on it in front of those men. Those men just smiled sadly and turned away. I can't stand people like that, especially if they claim they're Atheist.

But anyway, anyway. I'd thank them and continue what I was doing.


----------



## SASsier

Prayer isn't necessarily religious. You don't have to pray to a god, deity, or spirit. Prayer is a bit like tarot, horoscopes, or all those mind-body/holistic practices. It can give you hope, positivity, gratitude, and a few quiet moments to reflect on things. It can be a very helpful and rewarding secular practice.


----------



## markwalters2

SASsier said:


> Prayer isn't necessarily religious. You don't have to pray to a god, deity, or spirit. Prayer is a bit like tarot, horoscopes, or all those mind-body/holistic practices. It can give you hope, positivity, gratitude, and a few quiet moments to reflect on things. It can be a very helpful and rewarding secular practice.


Depending on how you define prayer. Meditation, reflecting on things and reinforcing positive thoughts may not be classified under prayers.


----------



## realitysucks

I know that they won't and are saying that just to take a cheap shot at you.


----------



## WTFnooooo

When they say that it could mean two things:

_I will try to summon God to try to make you believe in him so I can consider you worthy of respect_ _and the pity I feel for you will vanish_.

Or...

_I kind of like you, you seem nice, but, you don't believe in what I believe and that makes me uncomfortable and unsure that I might be wrong, so I'm going to ask God to make you believe so when that happens I will be reassured that God exists.
_

Tell them not to waste their time, that the only way to _convert_ an Atheist is to make him *reason*. In this way the religious person will try to make reasonable arguments to prove his god. This will cause a perceptional incongruency that will increase their doubts of their god, leading them closer to recovering from their psychosis.


----------



## Droidsteel

In spite of the uselessness of the prayer, I personally would take it as a kind gesture. Nothing to be offended about.


----------



## wordscancutyoulikeglass

If you want to avoid conflict and please people, saying thanks is a simply and easy way to blow it off. 

However, I find it when people tell me that they will pray for me to be quite annoying, especially when they know I'm not religious. I want to explain to them how ridiculous prayer is, and how if you don't pray at all, nothing will change because things don't happen because a divine being willed them too! So in that sense, it can be frustrating for the atheist, but if you shrug it off and forget, you can avoid conflict or uneasy feelings.


----------



## Vulnicura

Despite being agnostic my self, sometimes an aunt of mine might talk to me and tell me, " may god shower great things upon you" or something like this, and even though for a few seconds i get a bit "offended" maybe lol, its in reality a kind gesture from her and i appreciate it.

if gets thrown at me in an obviously "attacking" way, which i wont elaborate more into, then um it would depend on the situation.


----------



## Sage Sagan

spaceygirl said:


> ..how would you respond to that?
> 
> I find it kind of offensive, my mom who knows I'm atheist, said this to me the other day. I've been going through health issues, and we were talking on the phone and she's like "Well, I feel bad and I will pray for you...." WTF??? Not only is that rather rude, it makes me sound like I'm on my deathbed which I am not. Shes not super-religious and doesn't usually make such statements, which is why it was weird, but I guess she still holds catholic beliefs because of how she was raised (years ago, she even said to me she basically only believes in god cause that's how she grew up. Hard to respect someone's belief in god when that's their justification :no)
> 
> Anyways, I was like uh.....*silence*....ok but I'm not dying or anything. And then she said oh I know but when my facebook friends say prayers on their facebook the people always seem to get better! So I said...well thanks. I'm sure I'll be fine..gotta go!
> 
> It was pretty weird. I love my mom but she's not the most critical thinker, she's always posting chain letter stuff on her facebook and then shocked when someone tells her once again, it's not true. So I kind of just humour her even though I was kind of upset and wanted to say something like thank you, but I don't believe in god so that's not necessary. I feel like there's some things that it is going against my own beliefs to humour her on, including giving her the impression I am now religious or something, and whatever can of worms that could open.
> 
> How would you respond?


Try not to be angsty about it. Often, if it isn't used sarcastically or in a huff at the end of an argument, it's just a religious person's way of saying they care about you or wish you well.

_"What do you mean?" he said. "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?"_

'_What a lot of things you do use Good morning for_!"


----------



## G4Z

For me it's like taking offence for a shopper giving you a fruit basket for free.

You know, it can't really harm you. The only thing it can do to you is good or nothing.


----------



## itsjustin

Prayer is an easy way out of actually getting something done. I don't want their prayers, I want their physical help.


----------



## kodebob

I find myself getting frustrated at this too. I actually have less respect (intellectually) for people that are religious, and that is my own issue. I just have to remind myself that some people are raised that way and think it actually may help you. Some people have found peace in religion, and if thats what it took for them to be happy then so be it. Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless mind I say.


----------



## Rossy

I d say dont bodther,your wasting your time.


----------



## mitra

It's more like a habit for the believers to say that; I think most of them don't mean it or don't actually do it :b

I usually respond with a smile or nod or a thanks. Sometimes I feel that the person is being hypocritical and using it to evade having to do any practical or physical help


----------



## Alyson

I get really uncomfortable. Whenever someone says anything religious around me, and expects some sort of response- I usually just say "yeah.. Anyways" and attempt to change the subject. Idk, hardest part of conversing in my opinion.


----------



## sansd

I would take it similarly to something like "I wish you the best" or "You'll be in my thoughts", although I think it'd be harder to thank someone for saying they'd pray for me than for wishing me well.


----------



## laura024

Smile, say thank you, and leave it at that.


----------



## Raeden

I don't take offense. I just equate it to someone saying "I wish you the best" and move on with my day. I have no expectation that people change the way they interact simply to please me.


----------



## Mlochail

I do not see why this should be a concern or problem. Seriously.


----------



## wolvenlied

I've never really prayed before but I suppose when you pray for someone you take a moment to think about them. So when someone says I'll pray for you, I take it as meaning I will be thinking of you. I don't feel offended by it. 

I did have a friend ask me to pray for her which was weird. I wasn't too sure on how to react to that. I just said okay.


----------



## GGgg

I am agnostic and don't believe in prayer but I have said "I will pray for you" a few times in my very long life. What do you say. I'll be thinking of you might be better. I care might be better. But gee, this is your mother. She probably cares more about you than anyone else in the world. Since it bothers you tell her, but in a really nice way with no anger or condescension.


----------



## michijo

I would probably say "dont bother" or "dont waste your time". If it was a street preacher or someone standing on the street, I might verbally abuse them.


----------



## Teller

Blow it off. It's a kind gesture, unless it's followed by a middle finger or a punch


----------



## 0180917

This slightly eccentric elderly woman started talking to me once at this event I was volunteering at, asking me all these questions about where I was from, etc. I had to explain to her all about what field I was interested in studying in college and how I was in the waiting period as far as hearing back from colleges (this was back a few months ago). She wished me luck and said "I'll pray for you. Pray for me." At that, I just stared at her as she walked away, and have tried to avoid talking to her since whenever I volunteer there.


----------



## Noca

Instead of doing anything productive to help, they just say "I'll pray for you"... Thanks...

That reminds me of a Seinfeld episode where George hands out cards that say "a donation to the Human Fund has been made in your name", a completely useless meaningless gesture in contrast to the other meaningful gifts that others gave him. I see prayer as that "Human Fund" fraudulent gift card that is supposed to represent something meaningful, but in reality it is completely useless and is more of an insult.


----------



## Crystalline

I'd probably tell them "I don't need it but thanks anyway."


----------



## TheMadMan

I would take it as a kind gesture, but, she should respect your views, and understand that it was awkward of her.


----------



## Witty

I don't like it when people say they will pray for me when they know damn well that I'm an atheist. 

The most recent occurrence was from my girlfriend's parents who are Christians. They said that would pray for me in the context of finding God/Jesus/accepting Christianity.

I know they see it as a loving gesture, but when you think about it, its highly patronizing and condescending. Like, we know you are on the wrong path, (pitty), but we don't want you to burn in hell, so we will pray for you to see the light.

I wanted to tell them off, but thought better of it.


----------



## eon

At a personal level, i would respond positively. It means they will think of you later on (if they really meant they were going to pray for you). You might end up getting physical help from them in the end.

From personal experience: I didn't get a job after college. I spoke to one of my friends and he said he'll pray for me. The first job i got was by the recommendation that this friend gave to my first boss.


----------



## jonny neurotic

enfield said:


> i think praying for someone has a lot of emotional significance. like, you're telling me someone's going to THINK OF ME even when i'm not even next to them. that they're going to have ME in their thoughts when they have no obligation to. why, that's so nice, it shows they really care.
> 
> and can't a lot of us relate. haven't we all cared about someone enough that, when we knew they had a difficult day ahead of them, or some unpleasant thing they had to face, or were going through a tough time, that we naturally thought of them, and hoped everything would be okay for them?


I remember a few years back when that tsunami hit south Asia, one of my aunties(my favourite one as it happens and I know, we shouldn't have favourites but **** it, she's my favourite auntie) was traveling through Thailand. She was incommunicado because of her location so none of the family had heard from her and we were getting a wee bit worried. So, one night I'm in my room high on DXM and I decided to try to send my vibes out into the ether and make sure everything is ok. Lol. I was sitting up with my eyes closed for a only a few seconds then I realised, "I'm alone in my room and there are no f*cking vibes."

Some people are just better at talking themselves into believing there are vibes...


----------



## jonny neurotic

spaceygirl said:


> How would you respond?


I'd say," That's nice, but it wont change a thing..."

:cig


----------



## mezzoforte

I roll my eyes internally lol.


----------



## slider

this happens quite a lot.

My usual comebacks are:
oh really?
is that so?
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww (with a stupid face) / (looks around a k)
*i pat there head and tell them its nap time
get off my property or i let the dogs out
please consider getting a library card and learning something because wow your dumb
just stop talking 
shhhh shhh your invading my personal space
take your bull**** and shove it up your ***
did i ask you to mumble for me?
your divisive bull**** is invading my ears, why don't you stop talking now before i hit you.
lol you do
how did you live so long when your so dumb
don't contaminate my name with your deplorable religious bull****
you have my deepest pity for your lack of understanding about how the world really works
wow it must be so blissful to be so stupid - i wish i could be you :\
maybe if i get a lobotomy i could believe what you believe.
shhhhh its subvocalization time.
do not impose your religion to me or children you piece of inbred ****.

^
that is why i say even to people in public
I take a hard stance on stupid.

Religion is a poison of the mind, the only cure is a solid education and taking those facts (not myths or lies) and for once opening your eyes and looking at the world threw and educated view point.


----------



## greygoose22

Wtf who cares i say that all the time and im a hardcore atheist.


----------



## D0M1N1K

I'd just say thanks. No need for a stupid argument.


----------



## Alluring prince

SASsier said:


> Prayer isn't necessarily religious. You don't have to pray to a god, deity, or spirit. Prayer is a bit like tarot, horoscopes, or all those mind-body/holistic practices. It can give you hope, positivity, gratitude, and a few quiet moments to reflect on things. It can be a very helpful and rewarding secular practice.


"Tarot, horoscopes" and similar practices generally fit the definition of "religion": http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/religion



WTFnooooo said:


> When they say that it could mean two things:
> _I will try to summon God to try to make you believe in him so I can consider you worthy of respect_ _and the pity I feel for you will vanish_.
> Or...
> _I kind of like you, you seem nice, but, you don't believe in what I believe and that makes me uncomfortable and unsure that I might be wrong, so I'm going to ask God to make you believe so when that happens I will be reassured that God exists._


The only instances I remember it said to me were over a specific problem of mine, not over my salvation.



G4Z said:


> For me it's like taking offence for a shopper giving you a fruit basket for free.
> You know, it can't really harm you. The only thing it can do to you is good or nothing.





Moasim said:


> I do not see why this should be a concern or problem. Seriously.


It can come off as disrespectful to your beliefs if they know you're agnostic/atheist.



kodebob said:


> I find myself getting frustrated at this too. I actually have less respect (intellectually) for people that are religious, and that is my own issue. I just have to remind myself that some people are raised that way and think it actually may help you. Some people have found peace in religion, and if thats what it took for them to be happy then so be it. Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless mind I say.


According to what I've read, religious belief wasn't correlated one way or the other to happiness when other factors were isolated. Religious institution attendance was, however.



GGgg said:


> I am agnostic and don't believe in prayer but I have said "I will pray for you" a few times in my very long life. What do you say. I'll be thinking of you might be better. I care might be better. But gee, this is your mother. She probably cares more about you than anyone else in the world.


I believe the OP's offense partly stems from her mother's history of pie-in-the-sky beliefs and that this is probably more of a fad she's pushing on her daughter.



> Since it bothers you tell her, but in a really nice way with no anger or condescension.


This is smart advice and in line with what I was going to suggest to the OP and those with a similar problem: to nicely bring your feelings to the attention of the person, if you have frequent or deep interactions with them. 
On the other hand if interactions are rather superficial with the person, such as nothing beyond small talk or they're not mentally sound, or there's a strong threat of retaliation then I would say to be nice and mentally brush it off. I believe many Christians use it as a gesture of thoughtfulness and if you're writing from the US you probably live in a theist-dominant area.


----------



## cisarcesar

(regarding the first post)

I think you don't need to bother with this kind of gesture. For me it's like someone giving me merry Christmas, although I don't celebrate, it is something very ingrained in the culture, we can't expect people have a special attention to guys like us (atheists) because the majority like this stuff, and in the same way, the majority would be fine with "I will pray for you" statement. And maybe that is why people don't easily recognize how pretentious it is.


----------



## SydKat

What freaks me out is that when most people say "I'll pray for you" or even "bless you" they don't even realize the religious connotation behind those phrases! They're everyday phrases, unfortunately. I've never said "bless you" to anyone after they sneeze and I've gotten the worst looks from people for not "blessing" them!


----------



## Forwhatiamworth

It goes one of two ways:
They know that I am not a religious person and sarcastically say "I will pray for you !" I will say a quick thank you and turn away.

If it is someone who doesn't know I am not religious and says "I will pray for you" I say thank you gracefully and take it kindly.


----------



## Richard Pawgins

I know that they're only trying to help in their own little way so I don't get upset


----------



## nooneknowsmyname

Even though I don't believe in god, I say I will pray for you when I don't know what else to say because it just sounds like something good to say...


----------



## namebn

i just think meh, have fun talking to someone who doesn't exists.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

I found that it's better to not say i will pray for you. People often get offended. What i did instead was say nothing at all and pray for the person later at home or whenever i said a prayer next. That's what i did anyway, when i was a more active christian. I don't pray for anyone nowadays, not even for myself.


----------



## JazLeo

I am not a Christian or overly religious, but I do believe in prayer. With that said depending on the tone of the person who offers to pray for me I would either say “thanks” or give them a look that clearly says I don’t want or need their “prayers”. 
I went to school with a guy who knew that I was not a Christian and would always say to me “Jesus loves you” the first couple of times was an ‘okay whatever’ moment but after that it became annoying and I became combative(verbally). I‘ve always hated the evangelistic nature of Christianity.


----------



## mcmuffinme

I don't care. I just say thanks and let them pray all they like. What difference does it make to me?


----------



## Pacotaco

If I had the balls to say it, I'd ask them to simply croon "Remix to Ignition" by R. Kelly as a prayer because it would do about as much good.

I live in a very Christian area of the world though, a very conservative Christian place to be specific. So this just grates my nerves more than anything.


----------



## AnotherGuy

Brad said:


> Although I think the concept of "praying" is the equivalent of someone talking to an imaginary friend, i'll take it as a kind gesture and move on.


I take an agnostic view on belief but even I find your relegating someone else's belief as an "imaginary friend" offensive. You can make your comment and not make somoeone else's belief a diminutive subject. This portion of the forum strictly specifies that religious views are not up for debate and these forums strictly have a policy that encourage its members to have respect for others. If you can't follow that without making snyde remarks then perhaps this isn't the place for you. I hope that you can find a way to express yourself in the future with less passive aggression and in a manner that is more becoming of an open minded adult.


----------



## AnotherGuy

Personally I have found myself in the past couple of years to have taken a more agnostic approach to life. I can't really say that I understand why this would offend someone. If someone says they will pray for you, being a non believer means you don't believe there is anything to pray to. So why not continue as if nothing is going to happen differently, as that is your belief. I'm. It arguing this point, this post is just me admitting to not understanding why a person would get upset over this. I myself have been told that I'd be prayed for and I just think to myself "that person believes in a higher power. I don't believe that I do. Nothing will change - not my lack of belief or their faith". What can possibly be said to change the mind of both parties? Nothing, really. Am I right?


----------



## amberbydreams

As an ex-fundamentalist, I feel like a lot of you aren't quite appreciating the emotion that goes into a lot of people's devotion and religion. When dealing with especially fundamentalist Christians, it's important to keep in mind that their deep-seated beliefs are telling them that every aspect of their life should have something to do with their religion. They believe wholeheartedly that god created all things and everything that happens relates back to god.

When a Christian offers to pray for you when you have troubles, they are basically saying that they are keeping you in their heart and on their mind, and they are asking what they believe to be the force in control of everything to help you out in your hard time. I understand that it seems like an empty or useless gesture, but in their mind they are doing you the best help possible, and it is usually a gesture made in great kindness.

I'm not saying you have to be genuinely grateful when people bring up religion in a situation where you don't want to be thinking about it at all, but it's important to think about life from other's eyes in order to understand what they are trying to do.

If someone said they were going to pray for me I'd thank them, unless they were praying for a 'problem' of mine that I don't think is a problem (ie, the times when people have offered to pray for me to turn from my homosexual lifestyle. Then I tell them that it's not something I need to have taken from me.)


----------



## moloko

Why be offended? I don't mind at all when people say that to me. It's their affair. I just say thank you and keep to myself my belief that it won't help a tiny bit. If they think it helps, it's the intention that counts and that intention, for a religious person, is the best possible. They just want us to be well and that's how they think they will help us.

Being offended by this is the same as a religious person being offended because someone doesn't believe in God. If people stopped being so authoritarian and imposing with their beliefs, the world would be a better place. Militant atheism is just wrong, in my opinion.


----------



## AxeDroid

When someone says that I chuckle a bit in front of them. Sometimes they ask me "What's so funny?" or "Why are you laughing?". I response with "Nothing".


----------



## SnowFlakesFire

I learned to say "I will pray for you" as a good manner and wellwishing since so many uses it. It is as empty as "take care".


----------



## leftnips

markwalters2 said:


> I would tell them to give me cash instead.


I like this response best.


----------



## kuliko

As an atheist I don't find it offensive one bit. I understand that what they are saying is coming from a good place. Just like when I sneeze, I always say thank you whenever I am "blessed".


----------



## Tomfoolery

I don't sweat it. It's no big deal. I just take as it them wishing me well.


----------



## trolololololololo

Praying is essentially a meditation with a Christian mantra (but you can also pray without words), so I'm not offended. I meditate quite a lot myself.


----------



## ItsEasierToRun

It makes no difference to me.. If it makes them feel better, I guess that's all that matters..


----------



## Mcquiz

I honestly don't have a clue. I live in a country where only 22 percent of people are religious and only religious people I know are the kind that walk from door to door and I try to avoid them at all costs to avoid getting brainwashed.


----------



## Royals

Well I figure, it is better to say than 'I won't pray for you' or to ignore someone


----------

