# Should I view my therapist as a friend?



## Fat Man (Nov 28, 2013)

Should I view my therapist as a friend or just some lady doing her job?

I've been going to my therapist every wednesday since May. I've discussed many things about my life with her and yet, I still don't feel... like we share a bond...? I don't know, his is hard to explain. I guess what I'm trying to say is, should I trust my therapist...?

I don't think that's the right thing to say either. Sorry for being all over the place .


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## NuthinSimple (Jul 5, 2015)

Na, she'll Baker act the **** out of you given the opportunity


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## Blue2015 (Jul 3, 2015)

Nanosupport8 said:


> Should I view my therapist as a friend or just some lady doing her job?
> 
> I've been going to my therapist every wednesday since May. I've discussed many things about my life with her and yet, I still don't feel... like we share a bond...? I don't know, his is hard to explain. I guess what I'm trying to say is, should I trust my therapist...?
> 
> I don't think that's the right thing to say either. Sorry for being all over the place .


She gets paid for talking to you, so no personally I don't think you could see her as a friend. Though that doesn't mean you shouldn't trust her - I trust my therapist anyway.


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

You're her client and she's your therapist. That's all it is.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

You have a lady therapist? Anyways yeah you should definitely be able to trust your therapist. If I don't have a good connection with a therapist it won't work. I would never be comfortable enough to share everything. You have to find a therapist that you really bond with, in my opinion. I've quit on 3 past therapist because they didn't understand me or get me. I have a pretty good one now, he gets me I'm still struggling though, maybe I just don't respond to therapy well.


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## MamaDoe (Dec 15, 2015)

No, because it's her job. I'm assuming that you're paying her, she's not going to stick around when you stop. 
Why would you bond with her? She hasn't exactly shared her life with you, the only reason why you've opened up to her is because you have to. It's the only way she can help you with you anxiety.

Sorry bro, she's your therapist.


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## Fat Man (Nov 28, 2013)

Thanks for your responses everyone. I have a better understanding now of how I should feel



Kevin001 said:


> You have a lady therapist? Anyways yeah you should definitely be able to trust your therapist. If I don't have a good connection with a therapist it won't work. I would never be comfortable enough to share everything. You have to find a therapist that you really bond with, in my opinion. I've quit on 3 past therapist because they didn't understand me or get me. I have a pretty good one now, he gets me I'm still struggling though, maybe I just don't respond to therapy well.


Yeah, figured going with a male would make me really nervous. So I opted for a female therapist. I trust my therapist, it's just... I don't want to let myself trust her.. I guess. Why do I feel this way? I have know idea.


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## Unkn0wn Pleasures (Nov 24, 2011)

Trust her. Don't view her as a friend; when your therapy inevitably ends it'll be really hard.


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## Danae102 (Aug 1, 2014)

I don't believe talking to a stranger about my problems is going to help, plus your giving them money. I could easily go to a friend or family member. Even going online is better to me. The last therapist I had made fun of me to her co workers.


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## prairiedreamer (Mar 29, 2015)

I don't think a therapist will ever really be friends with their clients (patients?). So no, you shouldn't view her as a friend. But I also don't think you should view her as just some lady doing her job because whatever the relationship between you two, it is more personal than basically being strangers simply because of everything you have to tell her for her to be able to do her job in the first place.

I've seen 6 counselors. Only one of those helped because I felt like she knew where I was coming from, like she "got it." I was only able to see her once because I moved shortly after that appointment. I saw another counselor 5 times and ended up worse off after seeing her than I was before I saw her. Looking back, I realize that she just did not like me as a person. So now, it seems telling that I never felt any kind of a connection to her while I was seeing her, but continued to go only because I thought she knew what she was talking about. Even though it is a "professional" relationship, I think it's important to at least have some kind of mutual liking between the two of you. Otherwise, me personally, I'd find someone else.


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## vsaxena (Apr 17, 2015)

Just a therapist doing her job. If she gets another better-paying job elsewhere, she will abandon you at the speed of light. Trust me.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

yes because it will allow you to feel more comfortable talking about uncomfortable topics


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## mattmc (Jun 27, 2013)

Nearly everyone in life that supports your well-being is paid in someway. That includes doctors, teachers, ministers, etc. This doesn't mean that they don't actually care. But, on the other hand, caring is "their job" and they'll continue to do that beyond just you.

So for me at least, I think of my therapist similar to any of those other "professional carers". It's like a temporary friendship that exists in the context of their job domain. If I quit therapy and five years later I wrote to her then she might write back... but probably not a whole lot unless I returned to therapy. As that's her job and she'd be busy caring for others.


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## Hikikomori2014 (Sep 8, 2014)

Hell no!
Can you talk to your therapist outside of scheduled appointment for free?
Does your therapist call to say hi every so often?
have you hung out with your therapist?

Don't confuse a professional relationship with friendship


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## hmnut (Aug 8, 2011)

Your therapist is your friend in the same way your bartender or barber is your friend.

They are your friend as long as you pay them. That's fine. It's okay to have a friendly relationship with the people who provide you a service, but remember they are suppose to be providing a service. If you go to the barber shop and you spend the whole time together goofing off but never get a hair cut, you don't pay him. 

Next time you see your friend/therapist tell them "Sorry buddy, I'm a little short on cash. Can you give me a sessions for free, pal?" 

If they are like "don't worry about it" then you've got a true friend.
If they say they won't see you unless you pay, they are not your friend. Doesn't mean you shouldn't see them, it just means you are paying for a service.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

online therapy is way better, I even told my therapist today I was having an erection during the session etc...


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## hmweasley (Sep 12, 2013)

I'd say no. Friendship requires a two way street whereas therapy is focused on you, not them. Friendship could cross the boundaries of professionalism on their part.


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## likeaspacemonkey (Aug 16, 2013)

I resisted it for a long time but in the end I couldn't help but to consider her a friend. Maybe other kinds of therapists don't work this way, but that was me.

It's tricky. Like someone said, the fact that you're paying them doesn't negate that they care. On the other hand, you're likely to feel hurt at some point if you get too close.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

MobiusX said:


> online therapy is way better, I even told my therapist today I was having an erection during the session etc...


Wait, what.. lol...


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

knightofdespair said:


> Wait, what.. lol...


actually there is even more to it but I rather not discuss it here


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## MaePa (Jul 1, 2015)

I definitely think there needs to be a level of comfort in being able to trust a therapist with things that are difficult to discuss, but I agree that trying to get a friendship out of it crosses a very personal line. Then again, I tend to keep my "professional" and "personal" lives very separate -- generally, I don't consider co-workers candidates for friends -- so maybe it just depends on how much you want out of this kind of situation. I guess to me, a therapist would be the impartial party offering an ear and advice. In some ways, I find it's easier to talk about personal stuff with people I don't have close relationships with because they aren't involved in my life situations and have no stake in what I think or feel. On the other hand, someone I'm close to could possibly be hurt, angered, or in some way affected by my thoughts and feelings, and that's difficult for me to handle. So I guess if I were seeing a therapist, that's how I'd think of them.


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