# Have you thought seriously about leaving the forum?



## arpeggiator (Jan 6, 2011)

The thought of leaving this forum has crossed my mind many times before. I have social anxiety even when I'm online, and it's as severe as in person. Believe me posting something like this is hard, so I'm taking my time. Today I was about to ask for a permanent ban many times. But I want to think it calmly and make the right decision.

For this reason I'm really interested to know what people think about it. I'll truly appreciate your answers; it's anonymous, so be honest please. This is a serious issue, at least for me. If you don't want to post your opinion publicly, just bump the thread at some point so other people can vote.

Also I want to make clear that I don't want people to ask me to stay or to leave, nor controversy, I just want to see the results. 
I apologise if the thread is very controversial or goes against the rules. If that is the case, please moderators, delete it.


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## JamieHasAnxiety (Feb 15, 2011)

I don't talk to anyone here enough on a daily basis to the point I would care if I got banned. Would I like to get banned? Idc. If I made serious friends on here though I wouldnt want too.

I don't know..


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## anonymid (Oct 16, 2005)

Nah, I've made some good friends here.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Yes, in the past before a couple of mods were apparently given some much-needed sedatives.

I used to get infractions for the most insane things, totally innocent comments. There have been numerous people who left SAS in times past due to getting sick & tired of heavy handed moderation.


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## WTFnooooo (Mar 27, 2010)

Once I got temporarily banned for being politically incorrect, comments deemed by moderators as "hate speech", and I felt like never coming back. It did keep me away for like 6 months.

I'm staying for now, unless I get bored of it. Probably quit for some time and come back, but I wouldn't ask to be banned like some people do. Why do they do that?


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## sansd (Mar 22, 2006)

I don't come here when I don't want to or need to focus on other things and I come back when I do. I don't really see any need to make a point of _deciding_ to leave. I'd just want to come back later, and I'd want to have that option.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

No.

This forum is one of the best support systems I have.


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## VC132 (Sep 1, 2010)

ya, the times when i spend an entire evening here. i keep searching for something interesting and most times i feel like i can't find it. i even want to post, but occasionally i find it hard to relate or sometimes it feels like i'm even judgmental. i still think it's a giant process, but the lonely times are painful as hell.


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## moxosis (Aug 26, 2009)

this is no diffrent from my real life can't connect, with people, can't trust anyone. Always feel like what I say is somehow wrong or make people hate me.


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

Yes. I was constantly made to feel like a total outcast in chat. Constantly. Either I wouldn't join in on their sex talk and was automatically a prude, or I'm a selfish teenage ***** who drowns out all other conversation by shouting about my various paramours loudly.

I only enter occassionally now. I find it hilarious that the members in question appear to have no memory of telling me several times that I was a *****, that I should leave, GTFO, GTFO NOW BEZOOMNY.

Understandably, I found this totally not worth the effort. I pretty much wanted to shoot myself every day because I was a social phobic immature *****. If I am not accepted here, I have no hope, surely? Asked to be banned permanently and was not banned permanently. So that was fabulous. Always nice to know the mods care. 

I mean I got over it after about a month, but I know it's going to happen again. It's a matter of time. They're *going* to return to attacking me. They always do!


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## LALoner (Dec 3, 2008)

need2bnormal said:


> :blank I asked for a perm ban and came back ... Due to that I feel I have lost all respect from the admin here and feel they are judging everything I do now. You can tell the vibes when you write them an pm and they don't respond... It is the un spoken , *I don't like you* -* get the hint* , read between the lines type of deal.


I think the hint is that they are busy and you email them a lot.


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

Yeah...I don't really feel like a part of this forum. Just like I'm a loner in real life, I've never felt like I fit in here or that anyone pays any attention to me.


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## SilentWitness (Dec 27, 2009)

Lonelyguy said:


> Yeah...I don't really feel like a part of this forum. Just like I'm a loner in real life, I've never felt like I fit in here or that anyone pays any attention to me.


I feel the same but I keep posting regardless. :blank I have a huge post count but 3/4 of these are in 'Just for Fun' threads, so not really making a huge impact. But maybe subconsciously, I prefer it that way. Idk. 
I left SAS for over 6 months, was busy in my life so didn't need the support and too tired to help anyone else. 
I think I will stay for a little while and make a move away again, hopefully I won't need a temp/perm ban to keep away.


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## eejm (Jan 22, 2010)

Lonelyguy said:


> Yeah...I don't really feel like a part of this forum. Just like I'm a loner in real life, I've never felt like I fit in here or that anyone pays any attention to me.


Ditto. I try, but I just don't seem to connect. :stu


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## ImWeird (Apr 26, 2010)

I have a few times.


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## Spindrift (Mar 3, 2011)

D11 said:


> I feel the same but I keep posting regardless. :blank I have a huge post count but 3/4 of these are in 'Just for Fun' threads, so not really making a huge impact. But maybe subconsciously, I prefer it that way. Idk.


Same boat. I think I've posted more about Rush than I have SA, which makes me feel just a _little_ ashamed. Or maybe it's guilt. I'm not quite sure.


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## Cheesecake (Feb 2, 2007)

No, I have never thought about leaving. No reason to.


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

yes, for no reason whatsoevar


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

_No, here I find the support I need and I can help other people._ 
Even after 6 years .... 4 1/2 as moderator, I still like to meet interesting people here.


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

I don't even know why I come here. It's more or less pointless (my fault, not anyone else's). To amuse myself, I guess.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

njodis said:


> I don't even know why I come here. It's more or less pointless (my fault, not anyone else's). To amuse myself, I guess.


 You laugh at my posts, or want to cuss me out, one or the other :lol.


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## brianwarming (Nov 12, 2009)

Let's see .... <copy & paste> <copy & paste> <copy & paste> ...

_"This is no different from my real life can't connect, with people". "Always feel like what I say is somehow wrong or make people hate me."_

_"Yeah...I don't really feel like a part of this forum. Just like I'm a loner in real life, I've never felt like I fit in here or that anyone pays any attention to me"_

_"I don't even know why I come here. It's more or less pointless (my fault, not anyone else's)"_

+

I feel like an outsider among outsiders, but this is the only home on the Internet I have, so I guess I'll stay.


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## layitontheline (Aug 19, 2009)

"Yes, I would like to focus on others aspects of my life more." I wish I could make myself stop coming here, but I apparently have no self-control. It's a fine place with mostly nice folk and I bet it does provide support for many people, but for me it's mainly a costly distraction, bad reminder of things better forgotten, and a second helping of rejection. I sound whiny in this post and I don't mean to. I've nothing against this forum and am very thankful for the people I've gotten to know through here, but it affects me negatively for the most part. I am slightly high if any of this was incoherent. See, this is what I mean. I'm high, I should be trying to fly or bake a cake or something, and instead I'm on here.


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## LostPancake (Apr 8, 2009)

Yes, I would like to focus on others aspects of my life more. 
Yes, I feel bad about something I posted/ I think people hate me.
No, here I find the support I need and I can help other people.
No, I have made great friends here and people are nice.

All of these. I've been trying to avoid clicking on the new posts button except rarely - it's just too addictive, and eventually I start to feel really ****ty. So I'm trying to stick mostly to the subscribed threads, which makes this site seem more manageable, and less like trying to drink from a firehose.


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## KumagoroBeam (Sep 15, 2008)

moxosis said:


> this is no diffrent from my real life can't connect, with people, can't trust anyone. Always feel like what I say is somehow wrong or make people hate me.


Pretty much. I don't really read the threads in the Coping and Frustration forums any more. I feel like I have seen it all before and I have nothing to add. I usually just post out of boredom. But: I recently banned myself for one month and I missed this place. It's like my home on the internet in some ways, because I've been here longer than any other site. It's nice to see familiar "faces" even if I don't really talk to anyone here. 
So no, I don't want to leave.


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## mooncake (Jan 29, 2008)

No, I've never felt tempted to 'officially leave'. The site is often a distraction and fuels my procrastination, but then there are plenty of other sites that provide the means by which I can procrastinate as well. So leaving here wouldn't really solve that problem. This is really the only forum I feel able to be a part of, so it's one of the few sources where I can actually get my thoughts out and relate to other people. It's useful in that respect, although I can understand why some people think that visiting has actually impacted them negatively (a bit like when I used to visit a different forum for skin problems and found that it actually caused me to think about that problem more). 

Sometimes I feel like having a browse around or posting, so I will, and other times I just don't feel like visiting much, so I don't. I don't feel as though I've really connected with anybody or that I've posted anything worthwhile, though, so it's not as though there's be a gaping hole without me, but that's ok. It's still a nice place to pop into once in a while (or, you know, every day...).


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

Lonelyguy said:


> Yeah...I don't really feel like a part of this forum. Just like I'm a loner in real life, *I've never felt like I fit in here or that anyone pays any attention to me.*





eejm said:


> Ditto. I try, but I just don't seem to connect. :stu


(My bolding.) I pay attention to you both.



brianwarming said:


> Let's see .... <copy & paste> <copy & paste> <copy & paste> ...
> 
> _"Yeah...I don't really feel like a part of this forum. Just like I'm a loner in real life, I've never felt like I fit in here or that anyone pays any attention to me"_


I've paid attention since you made those graphs.



mooncake said:


> I don't feel as though I've really connected with anybody or that I've posted anything worthwhile, though, so it's not as though there's be a gaping hole without me, but that's ok. It's still a nice place to pop into once in a while (or, you know, every day...).


I've noticed you posting much that's worthwhile.


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## eejm (Jan 22, 2010)

Thank you, *odd one out*. I appreciate it.


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## Melinda (Feb 5, 2009)

I don't think I've made much of an impression on anyone, but regardless it's nice to not feel like I'm the only one in the world with SA. I'll be staying.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

I've thought about it. I even asked MM75 to perma ban me a while back, then i stalked him on living anxious and asked him to un-ban me.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

WTFnooooo said:


> "hate speech"


Hate speech = crock of ****.

And I'm brown.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

I don't think about things like that. If it happens it happens, if it doesn't I'm obviously still in need of serious support.


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## Kakaka (Apr 7, 2010)

Yeah, sometimes I think this site reinforces a negative mindset. All this constant moaning (myself included), doesn't do me any favours.


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## RayOfLight123 (Dec 4, 2009)

I thought a lot about leaving this site..but if I did I would just find another SA website to post on..might as well stay here..


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

I left in January.

I had a major SA relapse and so I'm back until I sort it out.


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## Glacial (Jun 16, 2010)

Melinda said:


> I don't think I've made much of an impression on anyone, but regardless it's nice to not feel like I'm the only one in the world with SA. I'll be staying.


^This, plus I've met some nice people here.


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## Giraffe (Sep 7, 2010)

If Dr. Liebowitz is to be trusted, I don't even have SA anymore. But I've met some nice folks on here and I'd feel bad about disappearing into the internet ether.


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

bezoomny said:


> If I am not accepted here, I have no hope, surely?


Many people here have a lot of issues, a lot of anger and poor social skills and unwillingness to accept people. It's inevitable that some are going to be mean and judgmental. Lack of acceptance here doesn't imply as much about you as about them. There are plenty of good people here too though, you just have to watch and keep track of them.


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## lyssado707 (Oct 29, 2004)

It's never crossed my mind. For me, it's support & entertainment. For some reason, i never experienced the negative reaction to this forum that a lot of others seem to get, & it's been 6yrs.


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## arpeggiator (Jan 6, 2011)

Thanks everybody for voting and for your honest answers. 
It's surprising to relate to some people's responses; I thought my option would be the least voted. I guess that's the greatness of this site, what lead me to join.

For a while, I got more comfortable posting here and felt like I was progressing, but recently my bubble exploded. Back to the start again. Another battle lost. My real life is going to waste as well. If I haven't left, it's because I'm afraid to be alone with this illness.


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## mooncake (Jan 29, 2008)

odd_one_out said:


> I've noticed you posting much that's worthwhile.


That's nice of you to say, thank you. And likewise to you!



CabecitaSilenciosa said:


> mooncake, I've noticed that I can relate to the majority of your posts. :yes


 Phew, I'm glad to know that someone can relate! Sometimes I fear that I come across as a bit of an oddball or that my posts don't even make much sense. It's comforting to know that I'm not in my own little boat sometimes.


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## Stilla (May 13, 2009)

I did leave this forum a while back ago because I didn't think I needed it anymore and because I thought everyone hated me. 
But yeah then I came back :b ...in the most embarrassing way ever. 
But I'm gonna pretend that no one remembers that. :lol
It wouldn't bother me that people wouldn't remember me or my posts... it bothers me that some people DO remember me, because of all the embarassing things I've said/done.


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## joe11 (Jan 22, 2011)

Stilla said:


> I did leave this forum a while back ago because I didn't think I needed it anymore and because I thought everyone hated me.
> But yeah then I came back :b ...in the most embarrassing way ever.
> But I'm gonna pretend that no one remembers that. :lol
> It wouldn't bother me that people wouldn't remember me or my posts... it bothers me that some people DO remember me, because of all the embarassing things I've said/done.


I am glad you came back. I am sure nobody is thinking that about you anyway. I can't believe you did anything more embarrassing than I could ever do. You just perceive it as embarrassing. Anyway you are back and that is all that matters and it shows you had the character come back.


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## Stilla (May 13, 2009)

joe11 said:


> I am glad you came back. I am sure nobody is thinking that about you anyway. I can't believe you did anything more embarrassing than I could ever do. You just perceive it as embarrassing. Anyway you are back and that is all that matters and it shows you had the character come back.


Aw thanks for that! That's really sweet


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## Cleary (Nov 10, 2007)

No, not at all. :um


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## Desi (Nov 18, 2003)

Yes. I do leave from time to time. Years at a time sometimes. Don't know how long I will stay this time. I was gone for maybe two years or more this last time.


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

A couple of times... 

But I've made some good friends here.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

No... I've always liked reading other people's experiences... and it's just about the only semblance of a connection I have with other people outside family. It's also good for just passing time.

I sometimes go days or weeks without posting, but I don't see myself leaving altogether any time soon.


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

ngl I've thought about leaving a few times due to personal issues. But I stay b/c I like trying to help people. I don't know when I'm going to be able to turn my own life around, but I hope that the advice that I have to offer will be helpful to someone, somewhere. It makes me feel better knowing that I'm at least trying to reach out to others who are in similar situations as mine. Plus I've met a lot of great people here, and that alone is enough to keep me coming back.


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## LALoner (Dec 3, 2008)

au Lait said:


> ngl I've thought about leaving a few times due to personal issues. But I stay b/c I like trying to help people. I don't know when I'm going to be able to turn my own life around, but I hope that the advice that I have to offer will be helpful to someone, somewhere. It makes me feel better knowing that I'm at least trying to reach out to others who are in similar situations as mine. Plus I've met a lot of great people here, and that alone is enough to keep me coming back.


Plus we tell you your hot.


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## Arrested Development (Jun 3, 2010)

Yes, I would like to focus on others aspects of my life more.

Yes, some threads/users offend me.

_Yes, it's boring to see the same type of threads over and over again._

Yes, I feel bad about something I posted/ I think people hate me.

No, here I find the support I need and I can help other people.

No, I have made great friends here and people are nice.

No, this forum is a great way of entertainment when I'm bored.

I have issues with making decisions.


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## BreakingtheGirl (Nov 14, 2009)

Not voting, but yeah I think about leaving sometimes. Quite a bit recently. I'm not a great support. There are positives here or I would already be gone, but sometimes spending time on here does bring me down, so I just limit my time, try to remember the good things here and see how it goes.


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## LALoner (Dec 3, 2008)

irishK said:


> Not voting, but yeah I think about leaving sometimes. Quite a bit recently. I'm not a great support. There are positives here or I would already be gone, but sometimes spending time on here does bring me down, so I just limit my time, try to remember the good things here and see how it goes.


Your hot too, don't leave.


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## Toad Licker (Nov 2, 2007)

I thought about it back before Drew took over since I didn't know what to expect from the change. Looking back knowing how badly this site has been ran since he took over I probably should've left back then but now it's too late.


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## crsohr (Dec 30, 2010)

No and I wouldn't leave, at least not until I'm SA free. But judging by the ages of some of the people here who are still struggling with it I may be here for a few years yet.

I certainly wouldn't ban myself. If I wanted to take a break I'd just stop visiting the site for a few weeks/months and then return afterwards, sometimes a simple change is all that's needed. There is no need to permanently ban yourself imo.


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