# OCD - Can't Get Thoughts out of my Head



## chris87 (Jul 13, 2008)

Aside from rituals, I have a really annoying OCD related problem.

I have an obsession with perfection, and I am far from perfect. I accidentally paid my credit card late, which ruined my day. I know that a lot of people get upset about these things, but I am probably worse than most. Something as simple as paying my credit card one day late ruined my day. I can't stop thinking about it, and I feel like my mind won't let me get over it. It's so mentally painful that I just want to scream. I could literally cry, thinking about the fact that I'll have a blemish on my record. I know that it won't hurt my credit, but my credit card company will still see that I paid late. I wish I could just understand that no one is perfect. I'm so extreme that, if I could pay $2000 to have any record of the late payment totally removed from my account, I'd pay it in an instant.

I've found that the only solution (when I get upset like this) is to go to sleep. It seems to be the only thing that makes me feel any better.

Is anyone else like this with anything?


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## marenubium87 (Jan 11, 2009)

just to clarify - are you talking about OCD or is this more like obsessive rumination? ...I suppose they are similar. Anyway...

Fight it. Fight it with all you have. Wage this mental battle and don't let the lies overtake you. The more you allow it the more strongly those mental pathways will ingrain in your head. Start asking yourself honest questions about this:

You paid your credit card late... okay. You made a mistake, or you forgot - are you not allowed to forget things? Are you not allowed to make mistakes? And don't don't give this voice a break. If you said yes to that, why? Why are you not allowed to make mistakes and other people are? Does it make you a lesser person if you mess up? What about thinking about the fact that often lesser people are the ones that are afraid of screwing up so they never risk things and never achieve distinction? Catch that self-critic in its own lie. Be relentless. And be patient - it took you years to develop this giant monster of negative self thought. You won't be able to slay it the first day. Keep trying.

I could say more but at the risk of boring you I'll stop. If you want to discuss this more we can definitely talk through other means as well. Don't give up.


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## Stargirl09 (Dec 14, 2009)

I think I have OCD, I think what happened was I had a nervous breakdown which rewired my brain differently cos since then I've had OCD type symptoms.

I agree with the above poster that this is excessive rumination cos OCD is a condition which would have had prior control of this, it wouldn't have let it get out of control. You must be a perfectionist as you rightly say. 

It's not that unusual to get worked up over your credit history can these days it has serious implications and you can get tricked into paying overdraft fees etc, so your concern is to some degree-warranted. Too much though is just self-punishment so forgive yourself :yes


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## bevo (Jan 23, 2010)

To make you feel better, paying one day late will not blemish your record and the Credit Card company won't consider that late. It has to be at least 10 days late.


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## Atari82 (Jan 19, 2010)

same with me but sometimes t even tend to get really confused and think too much about what im supposed to do


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## VeggieGirl (Dec 11, 2009)

Oh absolutely I do this all the time.
Its like I worry about things which I don't need to worry about.


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