# anyone scared of ending up like their parents?



## slenderMan (Jul 12, 2013)

my father was a dead beat but i look more like him as the days go by. i look exactly like my father and my brother and i hate it, when i look in the mirror i see them staring back at me. they were the most low life bums i have ever met but i see them in myself. i think that's why i have such low self esteem. it's so frustrating at times i want to rip my face off. it drives me crazy...

anyone feel the same way?


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

But you say you are slender so that is nice. I like slender men.


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## jc90 (Jun 24, 2013)

Just know that you aren't them. You're a totally different person.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Yes. I actually cried over this and got really depress. Because even one of my HS teacher said that most people will end up like their parents. My parents don't do **** and don't work so there's no one to look up to so i just get as lazy as them. Fml.


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## luciRocks (Jul 18, 2013)

I'm sorry. It's scary the thought of becoming someone that may have had a very negative impact on your life. My mom although she always seen her words as constructive criticism, I often feel rejected and tormented by her. Do you not want to be like your dad because he was a dead beat and did nothing? Or was he a bad influence for you?

It sounds like he did both so remind yourself that although you are flesh and blood, you are NOT him. Unlike him you are aware of the things he did wrong and the things you need to do better. Do not let his negative opinion of you sway you from doing something you deem worthy. If you need to, start spending less time with him and find other people who can help discover your passion. Talk about it with a therapist or someone who will not judge you no matter what. I would hate for you to follow your dad's footsteps just because you think you should, you are different than him. The same way that I am different than my mom despite the annoying fact that she sometimes tells people we are sisters. You are much more intuitive.


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## always starting over (Mar 15, 2013)

Yes. My parents are very passive-aggressive, self-pitying/self-hating, and they don't have any ambition to do anything besides work, church, and TV. I would go insane if that's all my life consisted of.


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## Zil (Feb 5, 2011)

Hmm not really. I was reading this article a while ago and it's really up to you to decide what you want to be. I do believe that if you spend too much time with the same people you end up like them though.


My parents were poor immigrants while I managed to get an education, we live in two different worlds with very different concerns.


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## boas (Jun 9, 2013)

Sort of. I'm not really scared of it as such, but use them as a guide on how not to live my life. My dad, and my mum's boyfriend - the two male figures in my life growing up - are both borderline alcoholics and as a result I barely ever drink. I wouldn't like to be like my mother, either. She stays in unhappy relationships because she fears being alone, and I just don't understand that mentality at all. My self-esteem, like hers, is at rock bottom, but I would still rather be alone than be with someone who I ****ing hate.


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## firestar (Jun 27, 2009)

I worry sometimes that I'm more like my mom than I would like to admit. She's a confident person, but she tends to over-prepare for situations and I'm the same way. I always carry things that I usually don't need, but I _might_ need in some particular situation. I think always trying to look ahead and anticipate what might happen makes me unnecessarily stressed and anxious, which is what she's like, too.

The only good thing is that I'll probably never have children so I'll never hurt them the way she's hurt me and my siblings.


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## ItsEasierToRun (Feb 2, 2013)

-My mum never used to go out much when she was younger and she gets nervous/stressed out about the stupidest little things..

-My dad is a cynical old *******..

F*** >_> :doh


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## blueidealist26 (Dec 16, 2012)

I'm afraid of ending up a career-obsessed person who basically nobody likes like my father..


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

Grand said:


> I'm terrified of ending up like my mother. I could never be like my father, and if I ever thought I was becoming like him... I'd kill myself right then and there. He is a horrible person and doesn't care who he hurts with his actions.
> 
> My mother is far too trusting and kind and gets taken advantage of a lot. I don't trust easily, but I have trouble standing up for myself, like my mother... and it's very easy to take advantage of me. She blames herself for everything and apologizes often, and I do the same. I worry that I will end up like her. That is one of the biggest reasons I'm afraid of relationships. My parents marriage did not set a good example of how relationships go. I worry someone will use my vulnerabilities against me, like my father does to her.


You just described my parents as well. Most dysfunctional divorced families are like that. I actually take after my mother more than I'd like to admit, and almost every time I eventually learn to trust someone, I get burned. It doesn't help I'm a slave or a shadow to my older brother. I sometimes wish I could break free. I had an argument today with him, I got so fed up I just left, because it was like talking to a wall... Pffft healthy role models my a**.


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## Just Here (Jul 16, 2013)

Hell yes I'm scared most of my problems dealing with other people came from them. I hope to not let history repeat this on to my kids. But we don't always get what we wish for.


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## Rusty000Shackleford (May 20, 2013)

I'm scared because I am like them


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## Auroras (Jul 24, 2013)

We are all essentially our parents. 23 chromosomes from mom and another 23 pairs from dad. Just because biologically you appear to _look_ like them doesn't mean you _are_ them. Keep that in mind. You are in control of your own life and destiny. If you do something dumb, it's your butt that's on the line not your parents (as much as we want to blame them ).

So cut yourself a break and stop the self-loathing. You are more than what you give yourself credit for. Set yourself apart and inspire to be different from them.


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