# level 1 - Overcoming Procrastination



## paulyD (Feb 16, 2011)

The first thing that you need to understand about procrastination is that it is a matter of *CONFLICT

*Part of you wants to get things done whilst another part of you wants you to put things off. You are in conflict with yourself. And the part of you that wants you to put things off wins 9 times out of 10. *You are fighting a losing battle *

The reason that you are fighting a losing battle is because procrastination is set up at an *unconcious level*. if _*conciously* _you make the decision to get things done but your _*uncocnious mind* _wants you to procrastinate then you cant win. You cant win because the unconcious mind is far more powerfull than the concious mind. Your unconcious mind runs all of your automatic habits and behaviours. And habit and imagination are far more powerful than logic and will power. Therefore if you try to fight habit with your will power you will lose

*STEP 1 - Resolve inner conflicts *

The first thing that you must do to overcome procrastination is to resolve any inner conflicts that you have. You do this with an NLP technique called *Parts Integration*.

There are 3 options for doing a parts integration:

1) Pay an NLP practionaire to do it for you 
2) Do it yourself (instuctions for parts integration can be found on the internet or in certain NLP books)
3) listen to a self help cd. wendi friesen has a parts integration track for procrastination on her ''end procrastination'' cd set. www.wendi.com

All problem behaviour offers what is called a *secondary gain*.

A secondary gain is basically like a *benefit* that you recieve from the problem behaviour. In other words the problem behaviour offers you something or you get something positive out of the problem behaviour. For example some woman remain obese because it starves off male sexual attention. By remaining obese they avoid sexual attention. The secondary gain or benefit that they get out of the problem behaviour of being obese is avoidance of sexual attention from members of the opposite sex.

Prorastination is a problem behaviour. And just like all problem behaviour procrastination offers a secondary gain. You get something positive out of procrastination.

Your unconcious mind is using procrastination for a positive reason. Even though you may feel like you are sabotaging yourself by procrastinating there is actually a positive intent behind this problem behaviour.

You need to figure out what secondary gain you recieve from procrastination. And the best way to do this is with a *parts integration*

*Step 2 - Countering*

What you will probably find after doing a parts integration is that the secondary gain you recieve from procrastination is *safety*

Procrastination keeps you safe from failure. Therefore the secondary gain that you recieve from procrastination is *safety from failure *

The cause of procrastination

*Procrastination is caused by - *fear of failure*

*Fear of failure is caused by - *setting unrealistic and perfectionist standards (i.e being a ''perfectionist'')*

*Perfectionism is caused by - *fear of criticism and judgement* (which explains why a lot of people with social phobia also suffer with procrastination because at the root of social phobia is fear of judgement)

Therefore the root cause of procrastination is *fear of judgement and criticism*

Even though procrastination surves a positive purpose in keeping you safe from failure it also has a lot of long term consequences. It causes you to put things off and waste time, and it also causes you to feel guilty, regretful and depressed because you've put things off and wasted time

(Even though by reading this you have uncovered the secondary gain behind your procrastination it is important (essential even) to still do the parts integration. The reason for this is that the parts integration is not just about you uncovering the secondary gain behind your procrastination but it is also about resolving the inner conflict between your unconcsious and conscious mind. 
Without doing the parts integration you will still be in conflict with yourself even though you have discovered the secondary gain behind your procrastination)

Countering

To overcome procrastination you need to find another way, other than procrastination, to keep yourself safe from failure.

You need to find another way of keeping yourself safe from failure but without the negative effects that are caused by procrastination (e.g putting things off, wasting time, feeling guilty, regretful and depressed). This is called *Countering*

*Countering *means finding a healthy alternative to the problem behaviour that will give you the same secondary gain but without the consequences and negative effects of the negative behaviour

In other words you need to find another way of keeping yourself safe from failure without the negative effects and consequences that procrastination causes

The following metaphor will help you to understand the importance of creating safety from failure in order to overcome procrastination :

_Imagine that there are 2 high story buildings side by side. There is a plank going across the roof of one of the buildings to the other building. Now imagine somebody asks you to walk across the plank. Your natural reaction would be to procrastinate walking across the plank. The reason for this is because the consequences for falling off the plank are catastrophic (i.e death)
Now imagine that somebody puts a safety net underneath the plank. If somebody asked you to walk accross the plank your natural reaction would now be to just do it. You would no longer need to procrastinate because the consequences for falling would no longer mean death. The safety net would catch you and you could simply get up, brush yourself off and have another go. _

How to successfully use countering to overcome procrastination

*The reason why you procrastinate is because - *you view failure as a catastrophy
*
*The reason you view failure as a catastrophy is because - *you allow a task or goal to determine your self worth* (e.g you say something to yourself like ''if I don't get this job then it means that I will be one of life's losers''

*The reason why you procrastinate is because - *you set perfectionist standards for yourself, standards so high that failure is inevitable*

*The reason why you set perfectionist standards for yourself is because - *you fear judgement and criticism*

To sucessfully use countering to overcome procrastination you need to:

*1)**View failure for what it actually is - a learning experience.*

*There is no such thing as failure only feedback*

Welcome failure because you learn from every failure. You are allowed to fail. Failure is not a catastrophy. If you fail then you simply get back up, brush yourself off and have another go (Remember the safety net underneath the plank across the 2 high story buildings)

*2)* *Don't allow a goal or a task to determine your self worth*.

You achieve this by having a plan B,C and D incase plan A fails.

You need something to fall back on if your plan A fails, something that allows you to be a worthy person without plan A. For example imagine a professional footballer. His football carear is only one area of his life. His carear shouldn't determine his self worth. He should be able to get his self worth from other areas of his life as well as his carear. For example from his family life etc.... .

In regards to his carear he shouldn't say to himself ''If I don't play for Manchester utd then I am a failure as a footballer''. He should have a plan B,C and D to fall back on if he doesn't achieve his dream of playing for Manchester Utd. He could play for Everton, Aston Villa or Newcastle and still be a successful footballer.

*3)* *Instead of setting perfectionist and unrealistic standards for yourself be realistic*.

Set standards that you can actually meet. Don't raise the bar too high. Start small and take it one step at a time

*Focus on Progress not Perfection*

*4)**Avoid negative people who judge and criticize you. Get support from positive people who encourage and support you*

Remember that the root cause of procrastination is *fear of judgement and criticism*. Therefore it is absolutely vital that you avoid people who judge and criticise you. Also people with social phobia are usually extremely vulnerable and sensitive people therefore it is also vital that you get support from people that encourage and support you, and make you feel accepted (aswell as avoiding people who judge and criticise you)

This is a form of *Environment Control*. Avoid Environments (both people and places) that make you feel bad about yourself and make you feel like you are being judged and criticized.

Spend time in environments (both with people and in certain places) that make you feel good about yourself and that make you feel like you are accepted

If that means cutting certain friends or family members out of your life, or even leaving home then so be it

*By following the above 4 steps you will successfully counter procrastination and receive the secondary gain of ''safety from failure'' without the negative effects and consequences that procrastination causes*

*Step 3 - Interupt the Limiting Pattern*

*Step 4 - Reward*
*
Step 5 - Goal setting *

*Step 6 - Use a schedule*

*Step 7 - Listen to a self help cd*

*Step 8 - Use the Batch Remedies *

*TO BE CONTINUED*


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

Interesting, please post more. I am getting better at fighting my procrastination, but you are right in that it is not an innate feeling; I have to force myself to do things (altho it is getting easier)


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## Ladysoul (Jan 24, 2014)

Yes. It is the unconsciousness mind we are battling.


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## paulyD (Feb 16, 2011)

versikk said:


> Interesting, please post more. I am getting better at fighting my procrastination, but you are right in that it is not an innate feeling; I have to force myself to do things (altho it is getting easier)


i will continue my posts. I only have a certain amount of time so I must cram in as much as i can in as little time as possibe


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## PaulAlexander (Apr 29, 2014)

So are you getting this info from a book or is this just personal expertise/ experience? 
If it is a book I'd really like to read it!


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## paulyD (Feb 16, 2011)

PaulAlexander said:


> So are you getting this info from a book or is this just personal expertise/ experience?
> If it is a book I'd really like to read it!


My understanding of procrastination, how it works and what causes it came from reading a book about procrastination

The rest of the stuff e.g how to overcome it (resolving inner conflicts, countering, enviroment control etc...) comes from my knowledge and understanding of change, human behaviour and NLP (neuro linguistic programming) plus my own personal experience of battling procrastination.

When you take action in order to try and make a change in your life and you fail time and time again you learn from experience. In the end you become an expert. I have battled with procrastination for years and i've tried to overcome it for years too. Through experience and trial and error I have become an expert on the subject

The book that I read in order to educate myself on procrastination was ''The Now habit by Neil Fiore''


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## tobi08 (Dec 29, 2008)

hi paulyD i feel like i have no energy in the day and it is almost impossible to get things done. i feel exhausted pretty easily and nothing seems to excite me. 
i think i have depression. would you think that thinkrightnow Real Self Esteem can help me with that? as i struggle in all areas and im feeling that self esteem is the cause of that. 
i often wonder whats worth living for and feel like a zombie, dead. its really hard.


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## BehindClosedDoors (Oct 16, 2014)

My procrastination is caused by laziness, plain and simple. I know I need to do it, and don't want to. The fight is to get myself moving when I'd rather sit on my butt talking to you guys  Hey today at least I'm doing a little work here and there between posts. I picked up the house and made gingerbread cookies. I plan on doing some renovation stuff after the cookies are cooled and put up. IF I DON'T PROCRASTINATE all day, haha!


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## paulyD (Feb 16, 2011)

BehindClosedDoors said:


> My procrastination is caused by laziness, plain and simple. I know I need to do it, and don't want to. The fight is to get myself moving when I'd rather sit on my butt talking to you guys  Hey today at least I'm doing a little work here and there between posts. I picked up the house and made gingerbread cookies. I plan on doing some renovation stuff after the cookies are cooled and put up. IF I DON'T PROCRASTINATE all day, haha!


I spent years beleiving that i was lazy.

Then i made the realization that i wasn't lazy and that i was actually *AFRAID 
*


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## social worker (Sep 15, 2014)

There's always tomorrow, what's the difference anyway? If there's no tomorrow, oh well.

I always feel a sense of accomplishment when I stop procrastinating for one solid minute---even if it's just baking cookies.


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## PaulAlexander (Apr 29, 2014)

paulyD said:


> My understanding of procrastination, how it works and what causes it came from reading a book about procrastination
> 
> The rest of the stuff e.g how to overcome it (resolving inner conflicts, countering, enviroment control etc...) comes from my knowledge and understanding of change, human behaviour and NLP (neuro linguistic programming) plus my own personal experience of battling procrastination.
> 
> ...


Ok great stuff thanks for that. I'm getting onto a copy of The Now Habit. I look forward to more posts from you.


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## paulyD (Feb 16, 2011)

PaulAlexander said:


> Ok great stuff thanks for that. I'm getting onto a copy of The Now Habit. I look forward to more posts from you.


thank you


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