# How do less attractive girls get a guy?



## VivaEmptinessRoses

I always wonder how girls who are less attractive and quiet get guys. Alot of people tell me that guys are only into very attractive people and I should give up. Does having a great personality even help? Especially when a girl has SA?


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## Daktoria

Hey Viva.

To be honest, I can't remember less attractive girls ever doing something special to "grab" my attention. The reason I've gone after them is pure confidence and curiosity. 

The biggest reason to be concerned though is politics. It's really easy for guys to get accused of sexual harassment these days over anything, and some less attractive girls are REALLY crazy, so there's a risk involved. Even aside from the law, it's kind of embarrassing to hit on someone who isn't beautiful when you're hanging out with your friends.

I will say that if you're up front, guys will take the hint, but... it can be rather demoralizing when we don't say "yes". If you want, try to find the deep thinker types, but you have to take note that we're scared of getting in trouble... REALLY scared, so you might have to EXPLICITLY tell us that it's OK.

Honestly, if the law wasn't as tight *** as it is today, I'd probably hit on less than beautiful chicks 10 times more than I do now.


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## missalyssa

I'm not "naturally" model-looking... But I am reallyreally good at doing my makeup and hair and wear nice/stylish clothes. You could try that and work out and get a fit body. Oh and smile a lot! People who are always smily and cheery are seen as more attractive.

Personality however is where it REALLY counts!!!! Sooo once you attract the guy initially or talk to him once win him over with wit and charm and hopefully genuine shared interests. Show interest in him, ask lots of questions and laugh at his jokes.

Confidence is key too. And look people in the eye and look up when you're walking. Guys aren't into girls who look like they have self-esteem problems.

Good luck u can dooo it


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## Rex92

IF you don't have looks, you need to have a bubbly, outgoing personality to compensate for it. Sorry, but that's the way of the world.


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## Rex92

missalyssa said:


> I'm not "naturally" model-looking... *But I am reallyreally good at doing my makeup and hair and wear nice/stylish clothes. You could try that and work out and get a fit body. Oh and smile a lot! People who are always smily and cheery are seen as more attractive.*
> 
> *Personality however is where it REALLY counts!!!! Sooo once you attract the guy initially or talk to him once win him over with wit and charm and hopefully genuine shared interests. Show interest in him, ask lots of questions and laugh at his jokes.*
> 
> *Confidence is key too. And look people in the eye and look up when you're walking. Guys aren't into girls who look like they have self-esteem problems.*
> 
> *Good luck u can dooo it*


What she said.


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## VivaEmptinessRoses

missalyssa:1059411426 said:


> I'm not "naturally" model-looking... But I am reallyreally good at doing my makeup and hair and wear nice/stylish clothes. You could try that and work out and get a fit body. Oh and smile a lot! People who are always smily and cheery are seen as more attractive.
> 
> Personality however is where it REALLY counts!!!! Sooo once you attract the guy initially or talk to him once win him over with wit and charm and hopefully genuine shared interests. Show interest in him, ask lots of questions and laugh at his jokes.
> 
> Confidence is key too. And look people in the eye and look up when you're walking. Guys aren't into girls who look like they have self-esteem problems.
> 
> Good luck u can dooo it


Thanks. Will keep trying.


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## VivaEmptinessRoses

Daktoria:1059411423 said:


> Hey Viva.
> 
> To be honest, I can't remember less attractive girls ever doing something special to "grab" my attention. The reason I've gone after them is pure confidence and curiosity.
> 
> The biggest reason to be concerned though is politics. It's really easy for guys to get accused of sexual harassment these days over anything, and some less attractive girls are REALLY crazy, so there's a risk involved. Even aside from the law, it's kind of embarrassing to hit on someone who isn't beautiful when you're hanging out with your friends.
> 
> I will say that if you're up front, guys will take the hint, but... it can be rather demoralizing when we don't say "yes". If you want, try to find the deep thinker types, but you have to take note that we're scared of getting in trouble... REALLY scared, so you might have to EXPLICITLY tell us that it's OK.
> 
> Honestly, if the law wasn't as tight *** as it is today, I'd probably hit on less than beautiful chicks 10 times more than I do now.


Where are deep thinkers usually found? Especially in college. I never meet guys like this.


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## rymo

Honestly even girls with an ugly face are fine if they have a nice body, imo. Somehow their faces become cute and unique when they are fit everywhere else, imo.


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## BobtheBest

Looks aren't everything. Even attractive girls with terrible personalities do not impress me.


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## OutrageouslyAdorable

The title of this thread broke my heart. Every girl is beautiful. Its more about how you present yourself. Dress in flattering clothes is the biggest thing, trust me everyone looks so much better if they dress a little nicer....makeup is nice too but clothes are the biggest thing.


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## Daktoria

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> Where are deep thinkers usually found? Especially in college. I never meet guys like this.


This was the problem I had a lot while at college too. It got so bad that I started actually just wandering around halls trying to find people. Sometimes, I'd spend time in the common rooms, and just say hi to random people. It's embarrassing a lot, but... it paid off eventually.

I'd go to the library and computer lab sometimes and tell girls straight up they look cute or pretty if they seemed possibly interesting. It works easily if they look blue, and it works real easily once you admit to yourself that you want to get laid, heh.

With guys, I didn't see girls do this so much. The few girls I did see who did this got thought about as crazy, straight up. It's... a shame, but it happens because guys are looking for payback against society. We don't like the *****es, so we make fun of the crazies.

If you want, maybe ask the RAs in your hall if there's anyone on their floors who's really quiet and shy. They can point you in the right direction, and RAs tend to be kind about this kind of thing because they understand how life can seem distant.

Try going to hall events or campus events when you get the chance, and just peruse around. You can tell. We're the loners, we're distant, we're not talking. Maybe we have our heads bent down looking a little bored.

Girls usually think of us as pathetic, but the reason we're pathetic is because nobody really pays us attention. Believe me, it doesn't take much to boost our confidence. 

Just don't be TOO sexually aggressive. It's humiliating because of the law's double standard. If you want to get away, tell us, but don't grab our crotch in public. You can smile and touch our shoulders, but we're REALLY afraid of getting in trouble.


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## OutrageouslyAdorable

This thread borke my heart. All girls are beautiful. Its more about how you present yourself anyways. Make sure you wear flattering clothing. Makeup is good too, but its more about the clothes.


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## Double Indemnity

Yep, as a previous poster said as long as you're not fat you should be good to go. My husband is apparently a saint for marrying my fatass.


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## hoddesdon

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> Alot of people tell me that guys are only into very attractive people and I should give up.


 Whoever said that is not worth knowing.


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## TeddieAnn

Any girl can become more attractive (notice that I didn't say pretty but I said attractive, as in eye catching) by dressing in a feminine way and wearing make up. Like bright lipsticks and such.

And, obviously, most women are not* very *attractive, they are average. So, some guys will be force to take an interest in uglier girls. lol


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## Colton

I'm just gonna repeat what everyone else said. The truth is that if you're not fat, you smile and try to make yourself look sexy, guys will want you. Tight shirts and jeans will do wonders for you but ONLY if you have a healthy body!


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## VivaEmptinessRoses

Colton said:


> I'm just gonna repeat what everyone else said. The truth is that if you're not fat, you smile and try to make yourself look sexy, guys will want you. Tight shirts and jeans will do wonders for you but ONLY if you have a healthy body!


Is it worst to be fat girl or an ugly girl? Especially when it comes to attracting nice guys?


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## rdrr

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> Is it worst to be fat girl or an ugly girl? Especially when it comes to attracting nice guys?


To attract nice guys, just be the genuinely nice, caring, kind person you are.... Most guys, when a girl shows interest in them, they will know. If they are interested in you, then you will know they are attracted. I don't know what a healthy body means, but if your shape looks attractive to a guy, then it is not an issue.


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## komorikun

If you go abroad you will get a lot more attention from the opposite sex just for being exotic. This is especially true in countries that have few immigrants.


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## VivaEmptinessRoses

komorikun said:


> If you go abroad you will get a lot more attention from the opposite sex just for being exotic. This is especially true in countries that have few immigrants.


interesting.


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## shynesshellasucks

They either can decide to work on their looks or develop a good personality.


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## cubanscorpio

look for guys that are not superficial or into looks themselves. usually is guys that are not very attractive themselves by society's standards. if people that are "not as attractive" can make friends, they can find bf/gfs. can u make friends?


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## iBlaze

I don't mind some weight if she's fun to be around, and she can relate with me.

She doesn't have to be extremely beautiful in the face either, she can be average, and it wouldn't change anything.

Of course I'd like to have some hot *** model looking girl, but I am perfectly content and happy with less.


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## Colton

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> Is it worst to be fat girl or an ugly girl? Especially when it comes to attracting nice guys?


It's worse to be a fat girl because it shows that you don't take care of your body. Being a little bit overweight is ok, but if your fat is hanging out over your jeans then that can be a problem. Nobody can help it if they have an ugly face (I know all about having an ugly face) but having a nice body and pretty clothes can usually make up for it! Plus, you seem to like Robert Smith, which makes you 2x more attractive already!!

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh to anybody, these are just my opinions and I'm just trying to be honest...


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## VivaEmptinessRoses

cubanscorpio said:


> look for guys that are not superficial or into looks themselves. usually is guys that are not very attractive themselves by society's standards. if people that are "not as attractive" can make friends, they can find bf/gfs. can u make friends?


I'm not the best at making friends, but I do try to. I also try to find guys that I have things in common with more than looks. I dont like model type guys anyway. I just want them to be normal, and laid back.


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## IcoRules

Geez, going by what people are saying in this topic I'm never going to find a guy lol.


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## TPower

This thread is full of BS. If I were a woman, I'd be pissed. 

No, not all women are beautiful, no matter how they dress. 
Face is more important than body. 
Guys don't care about your confidence, as long as you aren't spending half your time whining.


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## PLarry

I don't want to point out any flaws in logic or anything but doesn't finding someone less attractive kinda demean them. I mean what I see a lot of you saying is "I go out with less attractive people on purpose, etc." but dubbing them less attractive is kinda well, dehumanizing. Like they are a pet or something. It is condescending I guess is what I really mean. The truth of the matter is attractiveness is a personal opinion and if you think the person you are dating is ugly then break up with them cause you aint doing them any favors. You get me?

If there is one thing I've learned its that everybody has a range of characteristics they find attractive. And if one person doesn't like something like red hair you can be darn sure that there are quite a few others out there who do. So just work on being more open, more approachable, and more confident with who you are. The rest will follow.


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## PLarry

TPower said:


> This thread is full of BS. If I were a woman, I'd be pissed.


Exactly!!



TPower said:


> No, not all women are beautiful, no matter how they dress.
> Face is more important than body.
> Guys don't care about your confidence, as long as you aren't spending half your time whining.


Wait... what?


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## cubanscorpio

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> I'm not the best at making friends, but I do try to. *I also try to find guys that I have things in common with more than looks*. I dont like model type guys anyway. I just want them to be normal, and laid back.


well thats good. keep doing that. in fact physical attraction is only that important in the initial first impression stage but its not essential. it is a fact that having the two _personalities _bond is what keeps a relationship strong and healthy for the long term, not looks. so try to be open, confident, interesting and you should find someone great that matches you.


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## cubanscorpio

plarry said:


> exactly!!
> 
> Wait... What?


lmfao. thats exactly how i saw it too.


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## Colton

I think the body is more important than the face but I guess that's just me?


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## Kennnie

i think your pretty attractive just my opinion.


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## Elleire

Argh, okay. To answer the question: Online. That's the only way I ever did it. And yes, they knew full-well what I looked like. Being quiet and woefully inarticulate IRL, it's easier to talk to people here. Where "out there," I'm an ugly person who can't speak, at least OL, I'm an ugly person who can string together somewhat coherent sentences -- and a few similarly crazy people found that/me attractive. 

But that was years ago. Now? I think I'd agree with others who've said, in different ways, that you're sort of SOL if you're fat. I am definitely not blaming anyone else for that, of course; I wouldn't be attracted to me, either.


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## VanDamMan

I love ugly women. Facial hair, moles, warts on the nose....such a turn-on.


I remember reading a line somewhere something like: " there is no such thing as an ugly girl, just a lazy one"


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## TPower

Colton said:


> I think the body is more important than the face but I guess that's just me?


Women are rejected way more often for being ugly than for having small boobs.


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## Double Indemnity

TPower said:


> Women are rejected way more often for being ugly than for having small boobs.


But we're talking about fatties not small boobs.


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## cassandraobrero

It is a fact of life that men are really visual. You need to get their attention physically at first before they decide to get to know you better. Unfortunately, it's not the other way around, simply because one does not see a good personality from across the room but a beautiful or at least presentable lady. I think you need to take care of yourself, meaning, dress well, maintain good glowing skin and proper hygiene is a must. And also, it's all about body language. One has to know what draws the line between showing interest from being too forward towards men.

Once you are able to get his attention, then, that'll be the time that you can show him who you really are. It's a no no to be and act as someone you are really not because he will find out sooner than later. Just be yourself. If it didn't get his attention further, to bring it to the next level, then, just think that he is just not for you. I believe that there really is someone for everyone so don't lose hope.

Finally, I feel that, like women, men may be initially attracted to beautiful women but is a woman's good character that will make him stay. So, just like in advertising, you need to market yourself truthfully though, so that he would stop, look and listen...


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## rawfulz

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> Is it worst to be fat girl or an ugly girl? Especially when it comes to attracting nice guys?


It's worse to be ugly. There is a huge population of guys who prefer big/chubby girls.


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## WalkingDisaster

No-one is going to say they are attracted to less attractive people, because by the fact that they are attracted to them they wouldn't class them as unattractive anyway!


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## Green Eyes

If you look around you you see all kinds of woman walking hand in hand with guy. Pretty girls, but also girls who are fat (though I've seen big girls who are beautiful) who are skinny, who have acne, who are disabled. So it look like no mather how you look, you can get a guy. It is probably easier when you look attractieve.
But I don't know how ''ugly girls'' get a boyfriend. There's probably something in their personality, really nice, funny etc...


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## Freiheit

Rex92 said:


> IF you don't have looks, you need to have a bubbly, outgoing personality to compensate for it. Sorry, but that's the way of the world.


Yeah that's how I see it too.


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## northstar1991

Caring only about physical beauty is superficial. Personality is more important. Looks hook guys but it's personality that keeps people together!


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## Kennnie

lose 20 pounds


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## CaptainRoommate

A friend of mine is not very pretty but she always has lots of guys falling for her. She's an authority on video games and she's also very funny. While she has a magnetic personality she's far from bubbly.


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## Pennywise

Lower your standards. If you're less attractive than average, then go for guys who are in your league.


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## komorikun

Pennywise said:


> Lower your standards. If you're less attractive than average, then go for guys who are in your league.


What if you are not attracted to the guys in your league?


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## TPower

komorikun said:


> What if you are not attracted to the guys in your league?


Swap your hopes for a cat.


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## komorikun

TPower said:


> Swap your hopes for a cat.


Hmmmm....wonder if there are any unattractive guys interested in having a marriage that involves swinging. I'd just rather masturbate than have sex with a guy in my league.


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## BeaT

They show cleavage.


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## Pennywise

komorikun said:


> What if you are not attracted to the guys in your league?


I don't know. Start from a low point and work your way upwards.


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## wordscancutyoulikeglass

My head is spinning just by reading the first few comments. Some of them tell us to smile, other's tell us to be nice, and other's tell us to not be fat.


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## stylicho

The problem with fat is it's generally considered a sign of laziness. This progresses into a line of assumptions. If she's fat she must be lazy. If she's lazy she must be messy. Etc etc. I'm not talking about chunky or thick. Most men find that attractive. I'm talking about pure, unadulterated fat. Sometimes the problem can be from having a physical disability which makes it worse since it's not your fault in such a case.


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## VivaEmptinessRoses

stylicho said:


> The problem with fat is it's generally considered a sign of laziness. This progresses into a line of assumptions. If she's fat she must be lazy. If she's lazy she must be messy. Etc etc. I'm not talking about chunky or thick. Most men find that attractive. I'm talking about pure, unadulterated fat. Sometimes the problem can be from having a physical disability which makes it worse since it's not your fault in such a case.


damn, this thread is old! lol.

But I do agree that being fat has been associated with a lot of negative traits and that can definitely mess up the chances of getting boyfriends. Trust me, I know this first hand.

It doesnt mean that those negative traits are true about a person because everyone is not fat for the same reasons, just like you said.

I guess its all about meeting the right guy at the right time. But nevertheless, I wont give up on love, I just know that its gonna take a hella long time for it to happen.


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## arnie

stylicho said:


> The problem with fat is it's generally considered a sign of laziness. This progresses into a line of assumptions. If she's fat she must be lazy. If she's lazy she must be messy. Etc etc. I'm not talking about chunky or thick. Most men find that attractive. I'm talking about pure, unadulterated fat. Sometimes the problem can be from having a physical disability which makes it worse since it's not your fault in such a case.


I don't think all the guys sending me dozens of messages on my fake okcupid account care if this girl is lazy or messy or whatever. All they know is that she's hot.

I could change her personal description to "I'm a satanist who likes to murder small animals in sacrifice to the god of death" and would probably get even more messages.


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## DeeperUnderstanding

I know plenty of fat girls who are in relationships. Fat doesn't mean that you're unlikely to date.


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## Winds

Daktoria said:


> The biggest reason to be concerned though is politics. It's really easy for guys to get accused of sexual harassment these days over anything, *and some less attractive girls are REALLY crazy, so there's a risk involved.* Even aside from the law, * it's kind of embarrassing to hit on someone who isn't beautiful* when you're hanging out with your friends.





Daktoria said:


> *that we're scared of getting in trouble... REALLY scared,* so you might have to EXPLICITLY tell us that it's OK.





Daktoria said:


> Honestly, if the law wasn't as tight *** as it is today,* I'd probably hit on less than beautiful chicks 10 times more than I do now.*





Daktoria said:


> With guys, I didn't see girls do this so much.* The few girls I did see who did this got thought about as crazy,* straight up. It's... a shame, but it happens *because guys are looking for payback against society. We don't like the *****es, so we make fun of the crazies.
> *





Daktoria said:


> *Girls usually think of us as pathetic,* but the reason we're pathetic is because nobody really pays us attention. Believe me, it doesn't take much to boost our confidence.





Daktoria said:


> *Just don't be TOO sexually aggressive.* It's humiliating because of the law's double standard. If you want to get away, tell us, *but don't grab our crotch in public. You can smile and touch our shoulders, but we're REALLY afraid of getting in trouble.*





> Hostile Sexism Score: 0.45
> Benevolent Sexism Score: 0.45 (Scored 0-5)
> http://www.understandingprejudice.or...ion=takeSurvey


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## meeps

what, Eastwinds? You didn't know that It's physiologically impossible for hot chicks to be "crazy"?


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## meeps

Daktoria said:


> it's kind of embarrassing to hit on someone who isn't beautiful when you're hanging out with your friends.


god your posts are depressing.


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## Winds

meeps said:


> what, Eastwinds? You didn't know that It's physiologically impossible for hot chicks to be "crazy"?


:rofl


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## calichick

I happen to know MORE unattractive females with attractive males than the other way around.

Only thing is, the males generally tend to be older, and my reasoning is, once they get past a certain age, the majority just *settle.*

Also, these females I speak of have really great personalities.

If you don't have a great personality and you aren't good looking, in my mind there's one big option and that's to lower your expectations of what you're looking for in a guy, unless you're willing to wait. Lowering your expectations decreases your likelihood of disappointment if the man you finds falls short of the ideal prince charming.

Either that, or pure luck.


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## PeachyAlice

I have no clue, I'm unattractive and shy, also suffering from several personality disorders, and I still have had a few boyfriends and I have absolutely no idea, it always baffles me why anyone would want to be with me.
So no you shouldn't give up, that's bullsh*t.


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## nemesis1

By flirting and making themselves 'sexually available'.


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## Witan

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> Alot of people tell me that guys are only into very attractive people and I should give up.


Wow, those people sound like real friend material :roll

As for your question, unfortunately I don't have an answer for you :stu All I can think of is putting on an air of confidence, even if you have to fake it.


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## erasercrumbs

If you find a guy worth getting, he won't think you're ugly in the first place.


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## catcharay

Usually if you make a connection online first and then meet I think it's possible. I met my b/f online.


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## JGreenwood

Find somewhere that a lot of blind guys hang out at. They won't know you're unattractive and they could be way out of your league.


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## River In The Mountain

JGreenwood said:


> Find somewhere that a lot of blind guys hang out at. They won't know you're unattractive and they could be way out of your league.


That's genius.


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## TPower

Ugly, confident girls are annoying.


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## Cletis

OP: Just be yourself and you'll be attractive to someone.


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## meeps

TPower said:


> Ugly, confident girls are annoying.


You're annoying


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## TPower

meeps said:


> You're annoying


Just to end the confidence = more attractive myth.

Ugly women who act like they are some beauty queen are as annoying as average looking geeks who act like they are god's gift to humanity.


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## meeps

^I see...It's only _obnoxious/arrogant _confidence that's annoying, and that goes for anyone, regardless of gender or looks.


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## Farideh

Sadly not a lot of guys care about personality. There are some thaty do, but a lot of them care about a girl's appearance which is definitely sad and by the way, you want a guy to like you for who you are, not for what you look like. Heck, I would be really sad and depressed if guys only like me because of the way how I look. Beauty fades. Wouldn't you feel special if a guy likes you for who you are? I have seen some great guys who can see past a girl's appearance and focus on her personality instead. Those guys are keepers.


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## TPower

Paloma M said:


> Sadly not a lot of guys care about personality. There are some thaty do, but a lot of them care about a girl's appearance which is definitely sad and by the way, *you want a guy to like you for who you are, not for what you look like. Heck, I would be really sad and depressed if guys only like me because of the way how I look.* Beauty fades. Wouldn't you feel special if a guy likes you for who you are? I have seen some great guys who can see past a girl's appearance and focus on her personality instead. Those guys are keepers.


A lot of women "like" a man for his social image.

His number of friends, the attention he gets from other women, the amount of respect he gets from other men.

Plenty of women do something just as bad as men liking them for their appearance: Liking men based on what other people think of them - on how special they will feel about themselves by dating a socially successful man.


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## Winds

Somebody has been reading up on their pua material


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## TPower

Dude, look around you, it's present.

You're 20, so you probably remember high school, uh?

If you do, then you should recall that hot girls were hanging around "cool" and popular guys.


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## Winds

And here I thought they only hung around me because I was smart and had a good heart 

I feel so used.


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## DeeperUnderstanding

calichick said:


> I happen to know MORE unattractive females with attractive males than the other way around.
> 
> Only thing is, the males generally tend to be older, and my reasoning is, once they get past a certain age, the majority just *settle.*
> 
> Also, these females I speak of have really great personalities.
> 
> If you don't have a great personality and you aren't good looking, in my mind there's one big option and that's to lower your expectations of what you're looking for in a guy, unless you're willing to wait. Lowering your expectations decreases your likelihood of disappointment if the man you finds falls short of the ideal prince charming.
> 
> Either that, or pure luck.


I find this a horrible view.

One of my friends is kind of pretty, but not very attractive. She is with a good looking guy, and they're around the same age.

I think attractive women do this, too. After being burnt by the attractive bad players, they tend to settle for a geek. This is why every man should work his butt off in college and get a good job, and not worry about girls...they'll come later.


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## Farideh

TPower said:


> A lot of women "like" a man for his social image.
> 
> His number of friends, the attention he gets from other women, the amount of respect he gets from other men.
> 
> Plenty of women do something just as bad as men liking them for their appearance: Liking men based on what other people think of them - on how special they will feel about themselves by dating a socially successful man.


Well I'm not one of those women and I never said that women can't be like that as well. I do agree with what you stated.


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## DeeperUnderstanding

I thought the topic was how do less attractive girls get a guy? How did it suddenly turn into 'Nice guy thread 2,000,000,000,000"?


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## Farideh

WintersTale said:


> I thought the topic was how do less attractive girls get a guy? How did it suddenly turn into 'Nice guy thread 2,000,000,000,000"?


I know right? All of a sudden this guy tells me what us girls do as well. I was just all WTF. Trying to prove his point that girls can be the same way as guys, but like you said, this IS a girl's thread.


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## mcmuffinme

The one thing this thread is good for is the realization that the reason some of the male members of this forum are single is because they are oblivious *******s. 

Jesus, some of you guys are ****ing lame. Have a personality? or maybe just a heart.


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## TPower

mcmuffinme said:


> The one thing this thread is good for is the realization that the reason some of the male members of this forum are single is because they are oblivious *******s.
> 
> Jesus, some of you guys are ****ing lame. Have a personality? or maybe just a heart.


I have a girlfriend and we **** quite often I would say. Just in case I was a target.


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## strawberryjulius

I put a love potion in his drink. That's how.


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## meeps

Seduce them with your feminine wiles.


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## Masked4201

So many girls in this thread claim to be unattractive.

I have two solutions for you

1.) Are you fat? If so, that doesn't mean you're ugly... lose some weight and it'll do wonders for your face.

2.) If you're genuinely as ugly as you say you are then the best way to attract guys is to dress well, put on makeup, make your self as presentable as possible and smile a lot.


----------



## Shauna The Dead

there are not-so-attractive guys out there, too...but often i see couples that dont "match" physically. like, guys who are not attractive with beautiful girls, or no very attractive girls with unattractive men. so looks really dont matter all that much IMO. and not to sound like i'm full of myself cause i'm not, but i've seen girls who are much less attractive than me(my opinion anyway) and fat girls with really good looking guys, and sometimes guys that are good looking and actually seem to treat them good and i think "how did she get so damn lucky??" i cant find anyone worth a ****. even the less attractive guys i've dated were not worth a crap!


----------



## Witan

meeps said:


> ^I see...It's only _obnoxious/arrogant _confidence that's annoying, and that goes for anyone, regardless of gender or looks.


^this


----------



## Witan

WintersTale said:


> This is why every man should work his butt off in college and get a good job.


That's two options. We can only pick one :lol

It used to be that a college degree increased your employment opportunities and socioeconomic potential.

Nowadays, it seems like it's flipped just the opposite (at least since the 2008 crisis)


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Witan said:


> That's two options. We can only pick one :lol
> 
> It used to be that a college degree increased your employment opportunities and socioeconomic potential.
> 
> Nowadays, it seems like it's flipped just the opposite (at least since the 2008 crisis)


I am still hoping that a college degree is worth something.


----------



## LorenLuke

Going back to the original post: 

Personality. 

Honestly, I as a male have never been physically attracted to anyone... or at least, not until after talking with them for a while, and most definitely not at first glance. 

It's always their behaviours,their thoughts, their ideals, their ambitions, just their overall personality that I've been attracted to. 

However, I know I'm not your typical male, and therefore can only speak for myself here... but darn it, those females, the ones who are a little off... just as quirky or odd or weird as I? Their existence, to me, is a treasure to behold...


----------



## Skttrbrain

calichick said:


> I seriously think you're somehow reflecting your own insecurities off of my posts, because I don't see how you can imply 5 million things from the words
> 
> _Wishful Thinking_
> 
> correct me if I'm wrong
> 
> So apparently Wishful Thinking equates to 1) Calichick thinks she's speaking for all the hot girls, 2) Beta males will be single forever, 3) every man wants to date Calichick, 4) everytime Calichick replies to WT, he thinks she's speaking/referring to herself.
> 
> This thinking is so beautiful, I've never seen something like this.
> 
> *waits for the you are NOW on my ignore list CALICHICK* lmao


I think he's picking on you, Cali. I def didn't see how he translated you saying "wishful thinking" to "you're never gonna get a girl like me so get real".

Does anyone remember the movie Some Kind of Wonderful? It's movies like that that give me hope. I wanna meet a dreamy guy who after meeting me decides that he wanted a sweet, cool girl all along rather than the hot, popular girl. I guess that's wishful thinking.


----------



## VivaEmptinessRoses

Paloma M said:


> Sadly not a lot of guys care about personality. There are some thaty do, but a lot of them care about a girl's appearance which is definitely sad and by the way, you want a guy to like you for who you are, not for what you look like. Heck, I would be really sad and depressed if guys only like me because of the way how I look. Beauty fades. Wouldn't you feel special if a guy likes you for who you are? I have seen some great guys who can see past a girl's appearance and focus on her personality instead. Those guys are keepers.


I wonder where to find these guys.


----------



## calichick

Skttrbrain said:


> I think he's picking on you, Cali. I def didn't see how he translated you saying "wishful thinking" to "you're never gonna get a girl like me so get real".
> 
> Does anyone remember the movie Some Kind of Wonderful? It's movies like that that give me hope. I wanna meet a dreamy guy who after meeting me decides that he wanted a sweet, cool girl all along rather than the hot, popular girl. I guess that's wishful thinking.


^ well at least you understand me..:teeth

I have a hunch WT doesn't like me...I guess from the 10 posts where he said "I don't like you Calichick" LOL

There's nothing wrong with wishful thinking, I dream everyday of finding myself a handsome millionaire guy, nothing shameful in that...



LorenLuke said:


> Honestly, I as a male have never been physically attracted to anyone... or at least, not until after talking with them for a while, and most definitely not at first glance. .


Damnnn I wish I was like you, seems like I fall in love at the drop of a pin these days..


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Skttrbrain said:


> I think he's picking on you, Cali. I def didn't see how he translated you saying "wishful thinking" to "you're never gonna get a girl like me so get real".
> 
> Does anyone remember the movie Some Kind of Wonderful? It's movies like that that give me hope. I wanna meet a dreamy guy who after meeting me decides that he wanted a sweet, cool girl all along rather than the hot, popular girl. I guess that's wishful thinking.


She just annoys me.

I also got several pms from members that stated "good for you!" I am not going to share those, but I know I'm not alone in being annoyed by her thoughts.

Irregardless, it probably was a personal attack, and I'm sorry for that.


----------



## foe

Style and Personality

Some of the girls I'm attracted to aren't remotely close to the cheerleader types, but they had a unique style that add to their appeal. And if a girl shares a similar personality and interests then that's another bonus.


----------



## BrookeHannigan

so...what is ''hot''
and who defines who is attractive and who is unnatractive?
its all subjective why cant you just all get that through your brains
''oh I saw this hot guy with this ugly girl''
well there are a lot of people out there who will find this ''ugly'' girl very attractive and this so called hot guy, a ugly guy,
and yeah what is fat?
even this is subjective when I lived in Japan my friend weight about 100 pounds or even less and when she gained like what 20 pounds,
And even when I was at her house her mom just said [oh T you are getting fat go on a diet] also lot of guys and friends told her so, as I spend a lot of childhood time over there I say that what is considered fat there is skinny here and what is normal/skinny is anorexic in a western country,
I once was ''fat'' too, I still got a lot of attention from guys somehow...
same with chubby I hate that word, cause a lot of people call skinny looking girls chubby as well, while some really really fat woman are called chubby as well, again subjective...
but lets me realistic even if a woman is fat/overweight whvr

http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/4500/Fat-***-4935.jpg

there rarely is a head like that on top of it(its photoshopped btw)

example with this picture I know some guys who said this is an absolutely ugly disgusting fat woman,and some said ''oh wow she is so pretty''
or ''shes kind hot for a fat girl''

so people please stop calling yourself ugly
cause you are ugly,lots and lots of people in this world are gonna find you ugly even if you are ''hot'' looking
and also lots of people will find you attractive no matter how ugly/good looking you are.
everyone is hot & ugly.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Speaking of high self esteem, less attractive girls that get a guy probably have high self esteem. Same as less attractive guys that get a hot girl.

There is no "wishful thinking" about it, really. Some people just have kickass personalities, that draw people to them. These people usually have high self esteem, lots of confidence, and are outspoken. But they necessarily don't need to be...some get lucky.


----------



## calichick

anomalous said:


> I'm not 100% convinced she's who she says she is.


How so...?


----------



## Perfectionist

Good Lord this thread is all sorts of crazy.

To answer the actual OP: I have only ever had success with guys with whom I was friends first, and slowly but surely won them over with my personality. It significantly shrinks my dating pool, but I don't mind. I've had two long term relationships out of three attempts with men, so I'm doing pretty okay. 

Basically I've completely written off conventional ways to attract men. Again, this really doesn't bother or upset me. I know I'm not the prettiest and am not going to attract random dudes, but that's AOK with me. I think I'm a pretty good girlfriend and eventually guys look past the love handles and see that.


----------



## calichick

anomalous said:


> Well, since you asked...
> 
> I have my doubts that an overly-attractive girl in her early 20s would spend hours each day arguing with basement-dwellers on a social anxiety message board.


Lmfaolollmao haha just made my day.

Well if you want to know why I'm f*cked up?

1) I prefer to be home rather than out (what website are we on again?)

2) I love the internet I'm not going to lie.

3) Discussion boards are a good outlet for my need for "social" time if you can call it that.


----------



## Perfectionist

anomalous said:


> There've already been numerous "female" accounts banned for misrepresenting themselves. There's no doubt in my mind that a certain (likely small) percentage of even longtime female posters on SAS aren't who they say they are. And without all of us meeting in-person, we'll never know for certain about ANY account.


Yep. I am ridiculously suspicious of all females on this site. You'd think I'd have some love for my sistas from other mistas, but no. It's the Internet.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Perfectionist said:


> Good Lord this thread is all sorts of crazy.
> 
> To answer the actual OP: I have only ever had success with guys with whom I was friends first, and slowly but surely won them over with my personlity. It significantly shrinks my dating pool, but I don't mind. I've had two long term relationships out of three attempts with men, so I'm doing pretty okay.
> 
> Basically I've completely written off conventional ways to attract men. Again, this really doesn't bother or upset me. I know I'm not the prettiest and am not going to attract random dudes, but that's AOK with me. I think I'm a pretty good girlfriend and eventually guys look past the love handles and see that.


Perfectionist, I've seen your picture, and you're cute. I can see why you have no trouble getting a boyfriend (plus, you're a sweetheart.)


----------



## calichick

anomalous said:


> There've already been numerous "female" accounts banned for misrepresenting themselves. There's no doubt in my mind that a certain (likely small) percentage of even longtime female posters on SAS aren't who they say they are.


Also I generally don't friggin care what other people on this website do...I genuinely like discussion/debate....I've been a member here for a few years and I've *Adamantly defended my views from Day 1, never swaying.

I don't come here to make friends, just for the discussion...


----------



## Perfectionist

WintersTale said:


> Perfectionist, I've seen your picture, and you're cute. I can see why you have no trouble getting a boyfriend (plus, you're a sweetheart.)


Sorry, maybe my post wasn't clear. I DO have trouble with men, in that I have never had any success getting a date or getting to know a new guy. My appearance really stops that from happening. The only instance where I have been successful is when a guy is my friend and gets to know my personality first.

Again, this doesn't bother me really. I just have to...work around it.


----------



## anomalous

Perfectionist said:


> Yep. I am ridiculously suspicious of all females on this site. You'd think I'd have some love for my sistas from other mistas, but no. It's the Internet.


I figured someone wouldn't like that, and I wouldn't have bothered saying it if she hadn't asked. Do you or do you not agree that numerous faux-female accounts have been banned over the years? All I'm saying is it's more likely for a dude to fake his gender than vice-versa, given it will more likely increase the amount of attention paid to his account. Most of the well-established female posters (certainly you) I'm sure are here in good faith, but it's only realistic to assume a few aren't.

Needless to say, various posters of both genders misrepresent themselves in various other ways that have nothing to do with gender, too.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Perfectionist said:


> Sorry, maybe my post wasn't clear. I DO have trouble with men, in that I have never had any success getting a date or getting to know a new guy. My appearance really stops that from happening. The only instance where I have been successful is when a guy is my friend and gets to know my personality first.
> 
> Again, this doesn't bother me really. I just have to...work around it.


Everyone struggles sometimes. I know that everyone has their own vision of what is attractive, and this can vary from person to person. One person may be a 1 to one person, and a 10 to another.

I know what it's like to struggle with self esteem issues. Are you new here, lol? I've made tons of threads about my personal appearance, and I have been really insecure over the years. But one thing I've learned is that beauty is generally subjective, and even those that are models sometimes have their enemies. Even Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are considered unattractive to some people.

But I do know that you're a really nice person. I was sincere when I said that.

(Now just waiting for Cali to come in with her "No, beauty is not subjective" nonsense...)


----------



## calichick

Beauty is subjective but most of us are brainwashed by years of media standards engrained in our views and preferences which becomes almost a *universal acceptance of attractiveness.


But I appreciate that disclaimer WT


----------



## calichick

anomalous said:


> I figured someone wouldn't like that, and I wouldn't have bothered saying it if she hadn't asked. Do you or do you not agree that numerous faux-female accounts have been banned over the years? All I'm saying is it's more likely for a dude to fake his gender than vice-versa, given it will more likely increase the amount of attention paid to his account. Most of the well-established female posters (certainly you) I'm sure are here in good faith, but it's only realistic to assume a few aren't.
> 
> Needless to say, various posters of both genders misrepresent themselves in various other ways that have nothing to do with gender, too.


I can assure you I'm not a dude hun, I even posted in the record your voice topic here months ago, I'm sure Perfectionist clicked on it because she posted right beneath me.


----------



## PickleNose

OK. Looks matter. But frankly, I don't see too many women I would describe as completely ugly. I look for the beauty in everyone. I love subtlety and variety so I'm constantly seeing women some people describe simply as "plain" and thinking "Wow she's amazing!".

Of course, I myself am not conventionally attractive and have had around 30 years to refine my taste. I suppose men who are really conventionally attractive don't have time to admire the "plain" women. It's their loss though.

But I do think that "less attractive" girls should be confident. It's all attitude. You can get a decent guy if you believe in yourself. It might take years. It might not be easy. But you can do it. The human female is the single most beautiful life form on earth. This is a basic truth.

Just do your best not to be rude. Many of those guys you are going to be interested in are not going to be very confident themselves so if they are afraid to approach you, well, you know how that's going to go.


----------



## Perfectionist

anomalous said:


> Do you or do you not agree that numerous faux-female accounts have been banned over the years? All I'm saying is it's more likely for a dude to fake his gender than vice-versa, given it will more likely increase the amount of attention paid to his account. Most of the well-established female posters (certainly you) I'm sure are here in good faith, but it's only realistic to assume a few aren't.


I do agree. I've been aroud long enough to have seen it multiple times. I wouldn't be offended if someone was suspicious of me, despite how long I've been here. It's just...realistic.

The more a girl posts her picture the more suspicious I am, but maybe that's just me. Anyways, this is super off topic. Lets get this thread back on the topic train Choo Choo!


----------



## Witan

WintersTale said:


> Perfectionist, I've seen your picture, and you're cute.


:agree


----------



## Reveriie

@ OP:

I dont find myself an attractive person yet guys try to talk to me and I've been in relationships. I dont understand it, but Im not going to fight it either lol. I think everyone is different and there will probably always be someone who thinks you look good no matter how you see yourself. Just last night my bf said "I met a girl that was weird..like YOU weird...she was so odd I didnt like it, but I love your weirdness." So yeah, personality does play a part in my opinion. Even if you think you are unattractive or have a different personality, I think SOMEONE will still like you.


----------



## Xtraneous

Lol.


----------



## meeps

Xtraneous said:


> Lol.


in reference to the OP? I don't get it.


----------



## gomenne

Hmmmmm no, I dont think ugly girls like me are meant to be in relationships, seriously men are only interested in looks, period. If they weren't, there would be no makeup, plastic surgeries ...
They are so into looks that they would rather pay a ***** and receive uncurable diseases then go with a not so attractive girl.


----------



## jojo757

Sex


----------



## MobiusX

pay money


----------



## Khantko

lose weight and dress ****ty, seriously no joking. We men are pigs


----------



## TPower

If by "get a guy" you mean "get sex", it's VERY VERY easy.

Act ****tish. Most guys will sleep with most girls, even if they aren't good looking.

I'm not proud to say that, thought.


----------



## Perfectionist

gomenne said:


> Hmmmmm no, I dont think ugly girls like me are meant to be in relationships, seriously men are only interested in looks, period. If they weren't, there would be no makeup, plastic surgeries ...
> They are so into looks that they would rather pay a ***** and receive uncurable diseases then go with a not so attractive girl.


That_'_s pretty darn harsh. While there are a few men out there like that, it's definitely not all. Geez.


----------



## Bluueyyy

You'll find someone, someday.
Beauty is subjective.


----------



## anomalous

Perfectionist said:


> That_'_s pretty darn harsh. While there are a few men out there like that, it's definitely not all. Geez.


As I've said before, I understand where her perception comes from. A lot of the guys most women find attractive are like that. Whether that's a cause or result of their attractiveness is up for debate, but regardless, it is what it is. Therefore, it may very well be true that among men *she's attracted to*, a high percentage are sleazy hornballs.

It's impossible to spend a few days on this site and not see dozens to hundreds of men who are hopeless romantics. To me, the logical deduction to be made from the fact so many SAS women still complain that all guys are sleazy is that we aren't relevant as dating material and don't even factor into the equation.


----------



## Perfectionist

^Fair enough. It is true that many women won't give shy guys a shot. It's sad, yes, but on the plus side: more of them for me!

I've never been attracted to the typical guy I guess, so I've never really experienced this frustration with men.


----------



## lanzman

Chloroform and handcuffs.


----------



## Garretoo

anomalous said:


> To me, the logical deduction to be made from the fact so many SAS women still complain that all guys are sleazy is that we aren't relevant as dating material and don't even factor into the equation.


This is my view in general when I hear women complain about men being jerks, shallow, selfish etc. Most women seem to be attracted to traits that lead to men like that. At least this is my rather uninformed opinion of things I've noticed.


----------



## komorikun

Where do you even find shy men? It's not like shy women are going to hit on guys in public.


----------



## Witan

komorikun said:


> Where do you even find shy men? It's not like shy women are going to hit on guys in public.


Here


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

The shy guys are typically the ones who are geeky looking, so they don't stand out.


----------



## Valentine

Talk to me, make me laugh, seriously, guys aren't that complex. If a guy enjoys being around you then he'll be open for a relationship.


----------



## RiversEdge

Khantko said:


> lose weight and dress ****ty, seriously no joking. We men are pigs


That was very oinkish :lol

I hate when men don't notice a face.


----------



## jojo757

I wasn't trying to be mean but that's how it is nowadays. Not everyone think old fashion anymore... but also, but very upbeat and be entertaining. Guys love a woman who fun to be around with stuff always to do.


----------



## Freiheit

It doesn't really matter what you look like. I noticed that there are plenty not so great looking girls that have guys drooling over them. Some of them dress ****ty, pile on the make up, and think highly of themselves which I guess most (not all) guys like. I think these girls get guys' attention easier than let's say, a naturally attractive shy girl that lacks confidence. So as I said, it's not about looks but more about having a personality and knowing how to influence others.


----------



## TPower

If women find higher status men more attractive, men find ****tier women more attractive. 

I've seen it again and again, average looking girls acting like sex maniacs being called "Hot".


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

TPower said:


> If women find higher status men more attractive, men find ****tier women more attractive.
> 
> I've seen it again and again, average looking girls acting like sex maniacs being called "Hot".


Exactly.

And sexiness is a state of mind.


----------



## upndownboi

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> I always wonder how girls who are less attractive and quiet get guys. Alot of people tell me that guys are only into very attractive people and I should give up. Does having a great personality even help? Especially when a girl has SA?


who are these ppl telling you that??! they don't know what they're talking about. Beauty is very subjective, its only the media that strictly defines it.


----------



## Wolves In Suits

Some of these replies are depressing.

You either have to be a skinny natural stunner, or dress and act like a tart apparently. Just great.


----------



## Durzo

There are ways to increase your chance of success. For example going to places where you stand out, whether its different clothes, different look, different race, whatever. That draws more attention to you straight away so more guys are going to look your way.

Secondly actually approaching guys is something that can work wonderfully. You don't have to be forward, just initiate things and show your personality off. Be flirty enough to show you are interested but not enough to show you are easy, unless you just want a quick shag ofc.

Thirdly even if you think you aren't attractive, some people will and if you never try with people you never get anywhere. Often the guys who like the girls who dont look "mainstream attractive" are quieter and less confident than those who do... this isn't a fact just an observation.

It isn't even all about looks, you probably know that yourself. Attraction is not just based on appearance but a huge amount of things that vary from person to person. So don't write off all men like X type of girl and hate Y type of girl.


----------



## Peter Attis

Throw a rock.


----------



## Witan

Peter Attis said:


> Throw a rock.


?


----------



## Schizoidas

Peter Attis said:


> Throw a rock.


at his head and then..


----------



## Witan

Schizoidas said:


> at his head and then..


Daww, that's horrible :lol


----------



## Koolio

TPower said:


> If by "get a guy" you mean "get sex", it's VERY VERY easy.
> 
> Act ****tish. Most guys will sleep with most girls, even if they aren't good looking.
> 
> I'm not proud to say that, thought.


Uh, I'm pretty sure that's not what she meant......


----------



## Koolio

TPower said:


> A lot of women "like" a man for his social image.
> 
> His number of friends, the attention he gets from other women, the amount of respect he gets from other men.
> 
> Plenty of women do something just as bad as men liking them for their appearance: Liking men based on what other people think of them - on how special they will feel about themselves by dating a socially successful man.


Why the heck are you so hung up on this "status" thing? I knew this very outgoing girl in my math class that had a huge thing for this guy that never talked, and nobody would acknowledge him. You think she was attracted to his status? When I feel attracted to someone, Im attracted. I don't care about their "status". Wth?


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Honestly, looks don't really mean everything to me. If you are a sweet and laid back girl, I would probably date you. Girls that aren't stuck up little princesses are hard to find.


----------



## TPower

Koolio said:


> Why the heck are you so hung up on this "status" thing? I knew this very outgoing girl in my math class that had a huge thing for this guy that never talked, and nobody would acknowledge him. You think she was attracted to his status? When I feel attracted to someone, Im attracted. I don't care about their "status". Wth?


Women can and will usually overlook lack of status if a guy is hot.

But all those hot babes hanging around ugly men aren't attracted to their confidence or nice personality, that's for sure.


----------



## Nipple

If you're ugly you just find another ugly guy, you probably won't like each other so you may need a bit of patience to find the right ugly guy for you


----------



## Jollygoggles

A personality really helps and will matter greatly when you get older and being 'pretty' just doesn't cut it any more. 

This might sound a bit misogynistic but me and my friends always agreed a girls attractiveness was 20% face 80% body. If a girl got fit and had a fit body then the face didn't matter nearly as much.

Luckily, even the least attractive of people can work out.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Nipple said:


> If you're ugly you just find another ugly guy, you probably won't like each other so you may need a bit of patience to find the right ugly guy for you


I like your healthy message! xD


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Jollygoggles said:


> A personality really helps and will matter greatly when you get older and being 'pretty' just doesn't cut it any more.
> 
> This might sound a bit misogynistic but me and my friends always agreed a girls attractiveness was 20% face 80% body. If a girl got fit and had a fit body then the face didn't matter nearly as much.
> 
> Luckily, even the least attractive of people can work out.


I don't know about that man. A cute face is always what gets my attention.


----------



## Jollygoggles

Each to their own I suppose. I can lust after an ugly girl with a smoking body. I can't lust after a pretty girl with an ugly, out of shape, saggy ***, body.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Jollygoggles said:


> Each to their own I suppose. I can lust after an ugly girl with a smoking body. I can't lust after a pretty girl with an ugly, out of shape, saggy ***, body.


I can still crush on a girl no matter what her body looks like, but I like my girls a little thick anyway. Not fat, just thick.


----------



## Emanresu

They put out.


----------



## meeps

Emanresu said:


> They put out.


And this will increase their chances of being used, for sex. "Putting out" isn't necessarily going to attract someone who actually cares about you and wants to be in a relationship with you.


----------



## Nipple

meeps said:


> And this will increase their chances of being used, for sex. "Putting out" isn't necessarily going to attract someone who actually cares about you and wants to be in a relationship with you.


Men only want sex anyway


----------



## Emanresu

meeps said:


> And this will increase their chances of being used, for sex. "Putting out" isn't necessarily going to attract someone who actually cares about you and wants to be in a relationship with you.


I'm not trying to get too deep into it there. OP asked a question, and I gave her what amounts to probably the best answer  Is it going to get them good guys? Ask all the ugly single moms with like 4 kids from different dads.


----------



## meeps

Emanresu said:


> I'm not trying to get too deep into it there. OP asked a question, and I gave her what amounts to probably the best answer .


she clearly did not mean one night stands, read her posts.


----------



## Emanresu

meeps said:


> she clearly did not mean one night stands, read her posts.


I clearly am responding to only her first post as I a) didn't read the others b) am not going to go and read the others. However, even for not one night stands, put out... just always remember that beauty is only a light-switch away.


----------



## Ventura

**thread warning - *
Lets stay on topic here, please. 33 posts have been moved from this thread!!!!


----------



## gomenne

No I think only when a girl is not fully clothed will the guys find her "hot" even though if they see her from afar, as long as she's wearing ****ty clothes she will be hot no matter her body or face look like. 
I dont know what I'm trying to mean by that but whatever ...


----------



## meeps

Emanresu said:


> just always remember that beauty is only a light-switch away.


yeah, I'm sure any woman would still be in the mood if he felt the need to turn off the lights.:roll


----------



## Valentine

meeps said:


> yeah, I'm sure any woman would still be in the mood if he felt the need to turn off the lights.:roll


Oh my god, I didn't catch that the first time I read his post. I hope that's not what he meant.


----------



## YellowLittleDucky

Wow. This thread, all sorts of entertaining comments are being made.

To the OP: 
If a guy is worth getting to know in the beginning, he won't refuse the chance getting to know you due to your physical appearance. This is assuming you return in kind.

If it's any help, I am disgustingly obesed (currently exercising and dieting), don't wear make-up, and wear very average clothes, I have been asked out a couple of times by guys. I'm really not trying at all, because I am not in want of a boyfriend and still trying to piece my life together to form a healthy me. Still get told that I'm pretty. This year was tough and I gained 30 pounds due to emotional stress.

In all honesty, I think guys say they want a really attractive girl. But when they truly like someone and it is genuine, that carries deeper meaning and more strength than appearance. And guys who just really want to date attractive girls only _and_ are douchebags, I am willing to bet that they mostly will get laid a lot and dump a woman when they meet a hotter one. But I doubt their romantic lives are fulfilling.

When everyone gets to their senior stages of their lives, this is where all the timeless things show.

The shallow guys who want to date only super hot women, particularly the people who are only interested in young women, they pay a high price for it too. I mean, if men are doing that, should they honestly be surprised if the woman turns out to be a gold digger or another type of ridiculous? Then they get upset and act like they didn't deserve it. That's the price you pay for heavy eye candy. Choose wisely.

I don't know if guys care about this. And I hope guys will pipe up. But when a girl is easy, it really is a huge insult to the guy. (Vice versa too). It's like saying, "You're not special to me, just convenient." Easy lay and what not. But an insult. I am just wondering if guys cared about that, or if the sexual part is good enough.

On the contrary, have you noticed women want men to think they are absolutely gorgeous, but the women will also resent men who want only a gorgeous person? I am speaking as an observer.

My advice: pick sensible guys who aren't shallow, and will respect your appearance and who you are. This goes the same for guys to.

And this may not be a popular opinion, but I think I'd prefer it if a guy liked me very much in a romantic and way, but thought I wasn't pretty. In a way, it reveals his character more than mine.


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## bsd3355

They go out and meet guys and game them


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## lyric

My mom knew an ugly chick who banged the most beautiful man in town. The chick just dropped her panties real fast.


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## Khantko

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> I always wonder how girls who are less attractive and quiet get guys. Alot of people tell me that guys are only into very attractive people and I should give up. Does having a great personality even help? Especially when a girl has SA?


they don't, they get lots of cats :hide


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## XxArmyofOnexX

Bacon. Lots of bacon.


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## Droidsteel

Paloma M said:


> *Sadly not a lot of guys care about personality.* There are some thaty do, but a lot of them care about a girl's appearance which is definitely sad and by the way, you want a guy to like you for who you are, not for what you look like. *Heck, I would be really sad and depressed if guys only like me because of the way how I look. Beauty fades. Wouldn't you feel special if a guy likes you for who you are?* I have seen some great guys who can see past a girl's appearance and focus on her personality instead. Those guys are keepers.


Oh yeh most guys would totally rather just **** a lump of meat that can't speak than be in a relationship with someone they enjoy being around :|

'Woulden't you feel special if a guy likes you for who you are' - who you are INCLUDES HOW YOU LOOK!

Seriously, soooo misinformed, most guys _do_ care about personality AND looks.
And how exactly is liking someone for looks any more 'sad' than liking someone for personality?

What is all this 'you think a girl is hot so you are now a shallow small minded jerk' but 'you think a girl has a good personality so you are a genuine guy' stuff come from?

Whats the difference between liking looks or liking personality???

Once again, the vast majority of people consider BOTH.


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## Milco

Paloma M said:


> Sadly not a lot of guys care about personality. There are some thaty do, but a lot of them care about a girl's appearance which is definitely sad and by the way, you want a guy to like you for who you are, not for what you look like. Heck, I would be really sad and depressed if guys only like me because of the way how I look. Beauty fades. Wouldn't you feel special if a guy likes you for who you are? I have seen some great guys who can see past a girl's appearance and focus on her personality instead. Those guys are keepers.


Most people just aren't all that great regardless of gender :um

But about the "liking you for who you are" thing..
If I'm really good at playing guitar and somebody finds that sexy, is that liking me for me or for something arbitrary?
When I had my "I'm a rockstar" fantasies, I would picture myself rejecting the girl fans because they liked me for being in the band and my music skills and not for who I was. Of course, I never was that good at playing guitar and girls were never interested in me regardless, so was kinda a moot point fantasy.

But then from there I started thinking about other areas and what I actually though of as being "me" - what the "me" was that I wanted others to like. While I don't have an actual answer for that, I guess what you want is for someone to like the things you try to do and which you yourself identify with about yourself and think of as the things that make you special.
For me it's my personality; caring about others, being thoughtful, being a bit nerdy at times but also being allowed to be insecure at times.

And I try to do that for others as well. I can't quite say that looks don't matter at all, but I have definitely found that if I like somebody's personality, I will start to like the way they look as well - liking how somebody looks will not do the same for personality.
Personality is by far the most important thing and the most respectful thing to interact with others based on.
But judging from experience, I am anything but a keeper.


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## Thinkerbell

Droidsteel said:


> Oh yeh most guys would totally rather just **** a lump of meat that can't speak than be in a relationship with someone they enjoy being around :|
> 
> 'Woulden't you feel special if a guy likes you for who you are' - who you are INCLUDES HOW YOU LOOK!
> 
> Seriously, soooo misinformed, most guys _do_ care about personality AND looks.
> And how exactly is liking someone for looks any more 'sad' than liking someone for personality?
> 
> What is all this 'you think a girl is hot so you are now a shallow small minded jerk' but 'you think a girl has a good personality so you are a genuine guy' stuff come from?
> 
> Whats the difference between liking looks or liking personality???
> 
> Once again, the vast majority of people consider BOTH.


As humans, we like to consider ourselves "deep." Any animal could pick a mate based on appearance. However, not many animals choose a partner based on their values and interests. 
Also, we had no control over our appearance. But we (like to think that we) do have control over our personalities and behaviors.


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## Thinkerbell

I think "less attractive girls" have no choice but to find a man who does not view them as "less attractive." I'm hoping to find a society where I'm not viewed as unattractive...Idk where it is though. Looks aren't everything, especially not to me. But men will not date a woman who they personally see as ugly. It's a shallow world indeed.


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## Taija

Thinkerbell said:


> As humans, we like to consider ourselves "deep." Any animal could pick a mate based on appearance. However, not many animals choose a partner based on their values and interests.
> Also, we had no control over our appearance. But we (like to think that we) do have control over our personalities and behaviors.


If you want to get into the biological side of things..

Humans, like other animals, pick mates based on their genes and ability to take continue. Appearance is indeed a part of that, because attractiveness is generally related to healthy and able humans. But it's not even the most important part. For example, how a person smells can be much more important - we detect pheromones that way, which tells about their immune system. Opposites also attract; people who are genetically different tend to prefer each other to ensue genetic variability. And that's just scratching the surface.

But things change. Medication can cure diseases that before were fatal. Strength is not that important anymore. Money speaks.

People also live longer and have _much _more free time, and because for so many people immediate survival is in not essential anymore, they have time to develop other interests and values, as well as deeper relationships. Happiness is pretty damn important for the humankind; it keeps us alive and going. So maybe it's not so unnatural after all for a human to want a person who, on top of being attractive to them, is also a very interesting and fun companion in life.

I know that's kinda offtopic, but I'm a science freak, and it does explain a little about how attraction works.


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## Thinkerbell

Taija said:


> If you want to get into the biological side of things..
> 
> Humans, like other animals, pick mates based on their genes and ability to take continue. Appearance is indeed a part of that, because attractiveness is generally related to healthy and able humans. But it's not even the most important part. For example, how a person smells can be much more important - we detect pheromones that way, which tells about their immune system. Opposites also attract; people who are genetically different tend to prefer each other to ensue genetic variability. And that's just scratching the surface.
> 
> But things change. Medication can cure diseases that before were fatal. Strength is not that important anymore. Money speaks.
> 
> People also live longer and have _much _more free time, and because for so many people immediate survival is in not essential anymore, they have time to develop other interests and values, as well as deeper relationships. Happiness is pretty damn important for the humankind; it keeps us alive and going. So maybe it's not so unnatural after all for a human to want a person who, on top of being attractive to them, is also a very interesting and fun companion in life.
> 
> I know that's kinda offtopic, but I'm a science freak, and it does explain a little about how attraction works.


I'm sure there was a point in there somewhere, but I can't seem to find it.


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## saltyleaf

PLASTIC SURGERY! >im looking into it :lol

ok on a serious note, "in most cases" it shouldnt "really" matter what you look like. HOWEVER, this is when a guy gets to know you/your personality, which is pretty damn hard if that girl has SA.


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## Taija

Thinkerbell said:


> I'm sure there was a point in there somewhere, but I can't seem to find it.


I wasn't really commenting on what you said, actually, so there wasn't an actual point I was making.  Your post just got me thinking about the evolutionary view of how attraction works and how things have changed in the modern times, especially after industrialization. So just pondering, essentially - you can ignore me.


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## Wazzz

I am just saying, dont LOOK fat !!! 90% from the guys dont like and will never approach a fat girl. And fat doesnt mean 60 Kg for a 1,70m girl, fat means the picture below.

The four girls in the right looks fine and cute for every guy around here. Simple, not too skiny not too fat, just normal girls. The one is the left makes the "difference". Difference we guys dont want too see.


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## Luka92

The same way less attractive guys get a girl...


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## hoddesdon

They slip a secret love potion into your drink.


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## Thinkerbell

Taija said:


> I wasn't really commenting on what you said, actually, so there wasn't an actual point I was making.  Your post just got me thinking about the evolutionary view of how attraction works and how things have changed in the modern times, especially after industrialization. So just pondering, essentially - you can ignore me.


lol alright


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## pete24

The thing is. Women always get noticed. Its general etiquette for men to do things like keeping the door open for women, picking something up if they drop it, letting them get served at the bar 1st when they werent 1st. 

Mostly guys do things like this this for the not "ugly" looking women. That gives them even more mentality that they are good looking, and deserve a guy who is super hot. Due to the attention, their expectations are raised significantly. 

Then for say a good looking guy (not "super hot" but above average good looking). They could be attracted to the female equivilant of their looks. But as women get attention and their expectations have risen it means they may not find the guy attractive.

After being "shot down" quite a few times, guys may believe they are trying to exceed their looks in what they can get and become disheartened, so lower their standards and go for women that they wouldnt of even thought they could find attractive before


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## kreeper

Please don't think of yourself as unattractive. Beauty comes in a lot of shapes and forms, and just because some men may not be all over you does not mean no man will find you attractive. If you're a good person, which it seems like you are, and you put yourself out there --- you will eventually find someone.


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## powerless

It really gets me that attractive girls get a whole lot of attention from guys that ugly/fat girls can only dream of..


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## Blue Bird

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> I always wonder how girls who are less attractive and quiet get guys. Alot of people tell me that guys are only into very attractive people and I should give up. Does having a great personality even help? Especially when a girl has SA?


I would say, being nice, good personality, clothes (clean, right size, something that shows your personality), someone that looks healthy, not a lot or no makeup.


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## Blue Bird

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> Where are deep thinkers usually found? Especially in college. I never meet guys like this.


Try libraries, bookstores, tea or coffee shops (the kind of places where people sit down and read while drinking).


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## DefendAll

confidence


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## pete24

Bit more input from me...

To be fair guys can be pretty sad. Nearly all will fancy the 1's that look "hot", whilst much less will like the girls who seem unattractive.

The problem with a lot of the "hot" girls is many are fake. Underneath all the makeup and styling they can be worse looking than some of the unattractive girls. So in many cases you are competing against a lot more other guys to pull someone who potentially could be naturally worse looking than an unattractive girl.

My ex looked stunning when we met online. Then we met in person and wow, she was even better than the pics, most gorgeous girl I had ever seen. For months she always wore her makeup to bed without taking it off. Then when we were comfortable 3 or 4 months down the line she started taking it off to go to bed. I saw her natural look. Freckles, a paler face. It was like, you see and know someone who never takes off their glasses, but then they take them off.

If I had seen her on the dating site with her natural look then chances are I would of just skipped her without sending a message but as id already fallen in love with her I accepted her natural look.

Sad thing with her now is she will easily get men chasing her and have no problem finding relationships in the future, but thats down to the way she looks with all her makeup on (Hair straitened and styled, lots of foundation, even drawn on eyebrows)


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## In Search

just be yourself and put yourself out there sooner than you think you will find what you need and you will find someone who cares about you and not your looks.


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## mooncake

Find a blind one I guess, or cast a spell on one. Maybe just tie him in my basement.


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