# Do you think dating sucks now?



## Waifu (Jul 21, 2014)

I'm so glad I got one of the good guys as my boyfriend because I see what does go on in the world and it's terrible with people just having sex and not caring about each other and playing these psychopathic dating games.

People used to date and fall in love and then get married so what happened to make things like this now?

Probably be a lot less rape too if people weren't getting drunk and hooking up as the norm in society.

Makes it harder for people who understand what life is all about to actually get anywhere with the sexual hedonism today.

What do you think?


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## cocooned (Jun 29, 2014)

Not gonna lie I like seeing a new girl as often as possible. I like variety and don't feel like slowing down.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

It has always sucked.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

That's their choice.


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## Waifu (Jul 21, 2014)

visualkeirockstar said:


> That's their choice.


It effects us too.


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## Waifu (Jul 21, 2014)

What happens when those guys and girls having all that fun and sexual diseases then decided they finally want to have love and now us honest people are stuck with them because that's what the whole world is coming too.


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## cocooned (Jun 29, 2014)

Waifu said:


> What happens when those guys and girls having all that fun and sexual diseases then decided they finally want to have love and now us honest people are stuck with them because that's what the whole world is coming too.


If you've found your "good guy" why are you worried?


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## Waifu (Jul 21, 2014)

cocooned said:


> If you've found your "good guy" why are you worried?


He could die tomorrow. And I'm also worried about all the other good people getting stuck with the hedonists after they had their fun and wasted their bodies.


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## girlyone1 (Jan 20, 2012)

I think this is a good post. Dating sucks, especially with the way alot of men and women treat themselves and eachother now days. A lot of men arent gentlemen anymore and have high insecurities and more women lack self esteem.....this **** causes distructive relationships.


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## spititout (Sep 7, 2014)

Waifu said:


> People used to date and fall in love and then get married so what happened to make things like this now?


...the internet. exposing EVERYTHING is not such a good idea.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

On the one hand yes it kind of does, on the other hand what is with all the judgy posts you make?

And why is it like you're the anti @*Cenarius*? Are you both like united in some kind of balancing act?


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

OP, your firsts posts were about wanting to have your overtly religious bf to have sex with you. Now you think everyone needs to wait for marriage? Sounds like he did a great job converting you.


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## derpresion (May 17, 2012)

wht is a difference from dating nd meeting frnd btw? like wht do ppl usually do on a date nd wht do they do with frnds? like when does it count as a date n when nt?


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

girlyone1 said:


> A lot of men arent gentlemen anymore


What's that.

If you're dating one crappy man after another maybe you're looking in the wrong places for them.


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## VictimEternal (Aug 10, 2014)

It does honey , time to make a family , with your date


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

I don't see this thread ending well.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

Persephone The Dread said:


> And why is it like you're the anti @*Cenarius*? Are you both like united in some kind of balancing act?


They're yin and yang. Moon and sun. Light and dark. Mars and venus.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

It's sad when dating has become the human version of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom.


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## orsomething (Feb 14, 2014)

idk i think anal sex is an expectation nowadays and thats a problem imho like that should be saved for like, a loveless marriage thats become about as fiery as ABC family programming and then after 6 years of bland missionary, eventually the wife is beat into submission and lets him stick it in the back door

what im getting at here is that anal is a last resort to try and put off a long overdue divorce and i dont think enough guys treat it like one and i think that needs to stop cos its ruining dating which is already bad enough anyways


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

orsomething said:


> idk i think anal sex is an expectation nowadays and thats a problem imho like that should be saved for like, a loveless marriage thats become about as fiery as ABC family programming and then after 6 years of bland missionary, eventually the wife is beat into submission and lets him stick it in the back door
> 
> what im getting at here is that anal is a last resort to try and put off a long overdue divorce and i dont think enough guys treat it like one and i think that needs to stop cos its ruining dating which is already bad enough anyways


I sort of laughed reading this :b ... but after a minute or so wondered if you're joking or not. That's the effect of long term SAS use on how I perceive things !


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## Waifu (Jul 21, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> what is with all the judgy posts you make?


You call me judgy a lot but you're the one who follows me around and calls me troll and stuff and is judgy towards me and it's even more annoying that you agree with me in your post but still have to call me judgy. Are you not being judgy by agreeing!


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I don't think anal sex is disgusting, but it's not for me. I don't see that as being attractive, and if a girl wanted me to do it to her, I would get turned off so fast.


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## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

Waifu said:


> He could die tomorrow. And I'm also worried about all the other good people getting stuck with the hedonists after they had their fun and wasted their bodies.


What's wrong with having a lot of sex as long as you protect yourself? Obviously there is never a 100% effective method, but there are a lot of people who remain disease free who have lots and lots of sex. Part of protecting yourself is also being picky with your partners and knowing their history. The problem today with the younger generation and sex is that they have a sense of invincibility and they are starting younger and younger. When I was 13 and entering high school, I was worried about losing my bike, not my virginity. These days, if you haven't at least gotten a blowjob by the end of your first year of high school, you're a loser.

I've had 5 partners in my life, and the most fun I had was a 6-month fling with a woman in her early 40s. Obviously she was quite experienced and her sex drive was through the roof! Her body was most certainly NOT wasted.

As far as dating goes, I'm almost at the point where I would rather just have sexual partners than relationships. It's not that I don't want to fall in love and the only thing keeping me on the wagon right now is knowing that I want to be a dad one day. That said, you gotta let the girl have full access to your phone, your computer and give her a copy of your pay stub so she knows exactly how much money you earn. Then there's the 6,000 hoops lit on fire you have to jump through....just to get a date. I will also claim that women 35 and under (GENERALLY SPEAKING, not ALL of them) are more superficial about looks than men are.


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## cocooned (Jun 29, 2014)

PGVan said:


> What's wrong with having a lot of sex as long as you protect yourself?


Absolutely nothing


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Waifu said:


> You call me judgy a lot but you're the one who follows me around and calls me troll and stuff and is judgy towards me and it's even more annoying that you agree with me in your post but still have to call me judgy. Are you not being judgy by agreeing!


I'm sorry if you think I'm following you around. I'm not trying to, and I thought it'd been a while since I quoted you/commented on your threads, but I don't know. I don't keep track and I do spend a lot of time here.

I thought your post seemed judgemental so I said so. I don't really agree with you. I agree that dating kind of sucks if you're not looking to have sex quickly/casual sex _but_ since so many people are, it's sort of like someone without legs insulting people who have legs for being able to walk around when they can't.

People don't all have the same desires/ideals and it seems silly to expect them to. Because that's impossible. You seem to think the way you think is better than the way they think. That part makes no sense to me.

As for thinking you're trolling. Based on many of your past posts, I do. This thread doesn't scream troll, but some of your past ones have, to me. So many of your posts just seem like you're trying to provoke a reaction from people, but that's just my opinion.

I'm not really judging you for judging other people even though it irritates me. It's pretty normal Human behaviour, I'm just wondering why you so often make posts like this.

I'm going to be straight with you here... You also have made many threads/posts about wanting to attract guy's attention and get them to flirt with you because your boyfriend doesn't pay you much attention sexually, and it all just seems a bit kind of like you're frustrated because he's religious and won't sleep with you. I feel like you might be jealous on some level, maybe not of how they're having sex or how often, but the fact that they are having sex.

Because you bring this subject up _a lot_ it's obviously something that's on your mind an awful lot. Despite the fact that you are already in a relationship you seem to want to tell everyone else how they should live their lives. :S


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

orsomething said:


> idk i think anal sex is an expectation nowadays and thats a problem imho like that should be saved for like, a loveless marriage thats become about as fiery as ABC family programming and then after 6 years of bland missionary, eventually the wife is beat into submission and lets him stick it in the back door
> 
> what im getting at here is that anal is a last resort to try and put off a long overdue divorce and i dont think enough guys treat it like one and i think that needs to stop cos its ruining dating which is already bad enough anyways


I couldn't agree with this more.


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## wmu'14 (Sep 17, 2010)

millenniumman75 said:


> It's sad when dating has become the human version of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom.


Indeed.
But people think and act like they're entitled to everything. 
And they're told they're no different then animals. . . .. .. .


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

Oh no, people are having sex before marriage.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

opcorn


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

I keep seeing this out of the corner of my eye and it says "Do you like dating ducks now?"


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## musiclover55 (Feb 7, 2011)

"People used to date and fall in love and then get married so what happened to make things like this now?"

Just because that used to "be the norm" doesn't mean that the people were _truly_ happy. People fall out of love, people cheat, people get marry just to be married, people stay together just for the kids, etc etc.

Dating sucks, but being in a steady relationship can suck just as much.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

musiclover55 said:


> "People used to date and fall in love and then get married so what happened to make things like this now?"
> 
> Just because that used to "be the norm" doesn't mean that the people were _truly_ happy. People fall out of love, people cheat, people get marry just to be married, people stay together just for the kids, etc etc.
> 
> Dating sucks, but being in a steady relationship can suck just as much.


"Try it before you buy it" - that means NO COMMITMENT!


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

WillYouStopDave said:


> I keep seeing this out of the corner of my eye and it says "Do you like dating ducks now?"


Stop judging me.


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## DocHalladay (Jan 19, 2013)

Dating is as outdated as monogamy, well monogamy has always been outdated, so I guess so has dating. #NonSequitur


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## musiclover55 (Feb 7, 2011)

millenniumman75 said:


> "Try it before you buy it" - that means NO COMMITMENT!


Eh, I always think of dating as either "boyfriend and girlfriend" or "2 people ONLY 'talking to' each other without the label" :/


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

millenniumman75 said:


> "Try it before you buy it" - that means NO COMMITMENT!


Actually, I'm in agreement with those that say that you should test drive a car before you buy it. If you don't wait until you're married to kiss, why would you wait to have sex?

I wouldn't want to get stuck in a marriage where the sex is terrible. And you can't necessarily tell that two people will be good lovers. Even if the person is hot physically, they may have the passions of a turtle.

In our current society, we have the ability to divorce if the marriage isn't working. The problem with using past society expectations for today's marriages is simply that the rules have changed. Back then, if you had a partner who gave bad sex, you couldn't divorce.

And I'd rather marry into a marriage that lasts, rather than one that will send me running to divorce.


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## GotAnxiety (Oct 14, 2011)

Yeah, I'm old school with my relationships,

Mans views of relationships and marriage isn't the same views as gods and jesus expectations of relationship that why we fail, Cause we go by man and made up law not by god.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Paper Samurai said:


> I sort of laughed reading this :b ... but after a minute or so wondered if you're joking or not. That's the effect of long term SAS use on how I perceive things !


Poe's law. :b


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

Persephone The Dread said:


> And why is it like you're the anti @*Cenarius*? Are you both like united in some kind of balancing act?


Must...write....rom com screenplay...


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## Lone Drifter (Jul 10, 2014)

Yes it does. I had a little rant about dating when you're over 30 here:
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f21/the-over-30s-dating-scene-1153178/

Basically it came down to some people just not making the effort when others really want to. I.e. I like dressing smart, going somewhere nice and enjoying a friendly conversation, I was always led to believe that dating was all about good impressions and getting to know each other.

Sadly the last few dates I've been on either felt like interviews (where the date just wanted me to ask her questions while making no effort herself) or sound boards for the date to rant and complain about how much she hates everything in life, in between checking her mobile phone.


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## anyoldkindofday (Dec 16, 2012)

Sometimes I ask myself whether it should bother me that a lot of people fall for the trap of casual sex*, rather than keeping it something special only to be shared with a few people throughout a lifetime.

I'm a virgin, and I'd say until I was 21 that was simply because I had no chance, I didn't make an effort to look good, I didn't have my act together mentally etc. etc. For the past two years I'd say it was by choice, I think I've had my chances but I truly don't see what I'd gain from pursuing casual sex.

Over the past years I've met quite a few attractive, funny, intelligent etc. girls, and every once in a while I've developed quite a crush on them. However eventually whenever we're in a group and people start talking about panda points, I find out she's had sex with some random dude less than a month ago, leaving me wondering what I should think of that. The worst thing is that even the most relatable, shy, goody-two-shoes and even prude girls end up having casual sex around this age, and I just don't see why.

In the end, practically any girl that I develop an interest in turns out to be having casual sex. And I wonder, should I stop going after these girls, just because they somehow didn't make the deduction that casual sex has nothing to offer. And limit my dating pool to virgins and people that have only had sex with long-term partners. Or should I let this "mistake" slide because everyone makes mistakes? 

And this is a really difficult matter for me, because on the one hand, if they truly believed in casual sex** then our philosophies on this subject are quite far apart, and then I'd start doubt how compatible we are on other "important" issues.

On the other hand, because casual sex is the norm these days, practically anyone who hasn't lost it yet at 20+ seems to be either strictly religious, or does not have their life together enough yet to do so. (no offense people, I'm simply basing this on my own experience and am including myself in that category). So limiting my dating-pool to virgins would have a high probability of limiting my dating-pool to people I have no interest in. 

Anyways this post is getting way too long now, and I don't even know if I agree with half the things I've said. But sometimes I just feel like I'm better off staying alone, keeping my dream of the perfect partner, rather than trying to find her and finding out she doesn't exist...




*of which a lot of practitioners claim that while it's nice it isn't all that great
** weren't tricked into it by some guy that was dating her just for sex


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

anyoldkindofday said:


> Sometimes I ask myself whether it should bother me that a lot of people fall for the trap of casual sex*, rather than keeping it something special only to be shared with a few people throughout a lifetime.
> 
> I'm a virgin, and I'd say until I was 21 that was simply because I had no chance, I didn't make an effort to look good, I didn't have my act together mentally etc. etc. For the past two years I'd say it was by choice, I think I've had my chances but I truly don't see what I'd gain from pursuing casual sex.
> 
> ...


I think your outlook is perfectly valid and fairly middle of the road - which is why the amount of flak I see people getting online from expressing something similar I find a bit astounding. :stu I guess some people just don't want to have any of their life choices questioned.

*Not that I think you'll find that response here on SA of course.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

anyoldkindofday said:


> Sometimes I ask myself whether it should bother me that a lot of people fall for the trap of casual sex*, rather than keeping it something special only to be shared with a few people throughout a lifetime.
> 
> I'm a virgin, and I'd say until I was 21 that was simply because I had no chance, I didn't make an effort to look good, I didn't have my act together mentally etc. etc. For the past two years I'd say it was by choice, I think I've had my chances but I truly don't see what I'd gain from pursuing casual sex.
> 
> ...


 opcorn


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Persephone The Dread said:


> opcorn


lol. I'm guessing you feel that his opinion is surprisingly controversial too right :b (or am I missing something)


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Paper Samurai said:


> lol. I'm guessing you feel that his opinion is surprisingly controversial too right :b (or am I missing something)


This bit sounded potentially quite offensive/patronising, but I didn't notice he put mistake in quotation marks before:



anyoldkindofday said:


> In the end, practically any girl that I develop an interest in turns out to be having casual sex. And I wonder, should I stop going after these girls, just because they somehow didn't make the deduction that casual sex has nothing to offer. And limit my dating pool to virgins and people that have only had sex with long-term partners. Or should I let this "mistake" slide because everyone makes mistakes?


It is just his opinion though I guess..


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## pancakeface666 (Aug 19, 2014)

orsomething said:


> idk i think anal sex is an expectation nowadays and thats a problem imho like that should be saved for like, a loveless marriage thats become about as fiery as ABC family programming and then after 6 years of bland missionary, eventually the wife is beat into submission and lets him stick it in the back door
> 
> what im getting at here is that anal is a last resort to try and put off a long overdue divorce and i dont think enough guys treat it like one and i think that needs to stop cos its ruining dating which is already bad enough anyways


That's disgusting uke.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Persephone The Dread said:


> This bit sounded potentially quite offensive/patronising, but I didn't notice he put mistake in quotation marks before:
> 
> It is just his opinion though I guess..


hmm, yeah maybe that part wasn't worded too great. :b

I'm still surprised though how volatile that opinion can be (or anything like it) My own personal view is that I'd rather not date a girl who sleeps around, but I have no problem if that's what she's done in the past. It's not a 'purity' thing, or anything nutty like that - I just don't think we'd match very well at the present moment in time, because generally speaking that sort of thing goes hand in hand with a certain life style and I guess even a kind of outlook.

But hey, this kind of view is apparently sexist, ****-shaming and all kinds of other weird and wonderful things - at least according to some lol. Got to keep this to yourself at a lot of places online.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Paper Samurai said:


> hmm, yeah maybe that part wasn't worded too great. :b
> 
> I'm still surprised though how volatile that opinion can be (or anything like it) My own personal view is that I'd rather not date a girl who sleeps around, but I have no problem if that's what she's done in the past. It's not a 'purity' thing, or anything nutty like that - I just don't think we'd match very well at the present moment in time, because generally speaking that sort of thing goes hand in hand with a certain life style and I guess even a kind of outlook.
> 
> But hey, this kind of view is apparently sexist, ****-shaming and all kinds of other weird and wonderful things - at least according to some lol. Got to keep this to yourself at a lot of places online.


I don't think it's a negative thing to have that preference or sexist (well, depending on the reasons for it.) I think people often get annoyed when someone states they have a preference for something in general, and they don't meet that preference. Especially if it's something they can't change.

But also I think people are likely to take it badly because they assume it is always about purity which is not supposed to be a big deal anymore, in theory.

Maybe women in particular also feel kind of betrayed, like they've been sold this idea that it's OK, but then they feel like they're being punished. Not that it should be a huge deal for them really, because there are lots of people who don't care. I guess it's just a sensitive issue especially for women, though there are actually women who care about that as well (though less I assume.)

It's probably similar in a way to admitting you're less or not attracted to people of certain ethnic backgrounds, in that it's considered socially unacceptable/racist/backwards thinking and it's generally controversial because of the assumptions people make as to why that is.


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## anyoldkindofday (Dec 16, 2012)

Persephone The Dread said:


> This bit sounded potentially quite offensive/patronising, but I didn't notice he put mistake in quotation marks before:
> 
> It is just his opinion though I guess..


Yeah... what I mean is that it seems like a mistake to me, I have quite a few friends who claim they really want a loving relationship, but at the same time they do anything to get laid. And girls who appear to want a relationship but then go and sleep with the first (confident/good looking) guy that gives them any attention. And it just seems so counter-productive to me as surely people that are also looking for a long-term relationship would rather the other is not known for sleeping around?

That's why I call it a "mistake", quotation marks as I try not to judge them too much on it, as this is simply how the world works, but from my point of view it still is in fact a mistake. It's a bit hard to bring the subtle nuances into every point I'm trying to make :b, posts get kind of bloated if I do...


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## Dre12 (Jul 25, 2014)

What is considered a high number of partners for a female? I was once with a girl who had 30 previous sexual partners. I always figured that it was because she was insecure and craved male attention rather than her being a swinger type.


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## anyoldkindofday (Dec 16, 2012)

Dre12 said:


> What is considered a high number of partners for a female? I was once with a girl who had 30 previous sexual partners. I always figured that it was because she was insecure and craved male attention rather than her being a swinger type.


30 is definitely a lot, though I guess it doesn't matter as much how many in total as it does how many over the past year or so (to me at least). If a girl has had 5 partners that sounds pretty agreeable, however if these were all acquired within less than a year, that's a bit much in my books.. If a girl has had 12, but only one, maybe two of those in the past year I wouldn't mind as much as she's probably past that wild stage.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

anyoldkindofday said:


> Yeah... what I mean is that it seems like a mistake to me, I have quite a few friends who claim they really want a loving relationship, but at the same time they do anything to get laid. And girls who appear to want a relationship but then go and sleep with the first (confident/good looking) guy that gives them any attention. And it just seems so counter-productive to me as surely people that are also looking for a long-term relationship would rather the other is not known for sleeping around?
> 
> That's why I call it a "mistake", quotation marks as I try not to judge them too much on it, as this is simply how the world works, but from my point of view it still is in fact a mistake. It's a bit hard to bring the subtle nuances into every point I'm trying to make :b, posts get kind of bloated if I do...


Yeah, I mean obviously sometimes it is a mistake, but I don't think anyone but the person themselves can decide that based on their emotions.

I think sometimes... People do that to kind of make themselves feel a little better. Like an intimacy bandaid. It does seem counter productive to me _if _ you're looking for a relationship by having casual sex. Though I don't think many people do that.

I think maybe people just need a confidence boost sometimes? And perhaps it gives them that feeling like: 'yay people still want me.' But, I think that's a bad reason to have casual sex personally, really bad, because it could easily backfire and you might get to the state where (especially if a relationship is what you wanted in the first place) you're thinking like: 'but why don't they want me for anything else...?'

But then some people really don't want a relationship or they do but they also just want to have sex as a separate thing (like they've separated the two concepts fully in their brain and it seems that some people can do that,) and I think that's fine. Those are the best reasons to have casual sex really, because you just want sex - no ulterior motive.

God, I write so much crap here seriously lol..


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## razzleDazzle2150 (Sep 27, 2014)

^^ I enjoy reading your crap! Also, I'm a fellow virgin, so I may be biased.


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## razzleDazzle2150 (Sep 27, 2014)

razzleDazzle2150 said:


> ^^ I enjoy reading your crap! Also, I'm a fellow virgin, so I may be biased.


 *woops, this was directed to the panda-avatared boy!!


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