# Just for the ladies;what's on your "what I want in a man" list?



## mzmz (Feb 26, 2012)

I'm just wondering becuase I feel mine might be too much or too little.

I'll start

i'm a 4 on the looks department but CANNOT date a guy under 4 or 5 or over 8

I am maybe a 6 or 7 in the brains dept and have trouble going under that in dating i feel this has been a problem.

im half friendly so ill say im a 5 only i want a 5 -9 becuase ive tried guys under that and they were downright mean to me...and others...

follow me?

responses, advice and posts welcomed..by stright or bi women only, since men look for completely diff stuff (looks is way more important to them for instance)


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## TeenyBeany (Sep 3, 2008)

Never change your standards for a man if you feel like you dont have to! There is someone for everyone  

I cannot date "pretty-boys" or guys that are totally muscle. I have my own criteria on what I feel comfortable around too


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## sas111 (Oct 20, 2010)

I can't be picky. It's not what I want, it's whoever I can get to stay for a bit longer.


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

My standards are useless. Nobody needs me.


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## mzmz (Feb 26, 2012)

*i agree on what alot of you have said but i must ask*

how many of you, using the standards you've posted thus far, actually have had a good relationship or feel that your dating life can or will come to fruition

I mean we can all stand around and say "good on you mate" for forever, but if no one is getting results then i guess its pretty useless. i've changed mine a bit since the model i was using (to go below my own standards) was not working. now i dot know what to do. of course i want somone better who doesn't?

:no


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Although it pains me to intrude on this female gathering (I can already feel myself getting more in touch with my feelings :b ) I feel I really need to interject because of the following:



mzmz said:


> since men look for completely diff stuff (looks is way more important to them for instance)


A little too large of a generalisation for me to just keep quiet on.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

I used to have a criteria but then I met the guy I actually fell in love with and I realized how stupid the criteria was. You're welcome.


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## Reinah (Apr 10, 2013)

cypher said:


> To me, relationships are based on chemistry and that's not something I can pinpoint. It either happens or it doesn't.


yeah, so i don't really have a list.


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## Implicate (Feb 1, 2011)

I prefer someone with skin and organs and stuff. That pretty much is the entirety of my list.


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## Isabelle50 (Nov 19, 2012)

My advice would be to ditch the rating system, both for yourself and the prospective man. Its very subjective and not a good measure of anything at all.

For me at least I want someone who makes me happy who I'm attracted to. There are a lot of different ways to fulfill either of those criteria and you can't scale attraction.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Isabelle50 said:


> My advice would be to ditch the rating system, both for yourself and the prospective man. Its very subjective and not a good measure of anything at all.
> 
> For me at least I want someone who makes me happy who I'm attracted to. There are a lot of different ways to fulfill either of those criteria and you can't scale attraction.












Best post in thread goes to...


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

I want him to be honest, loyal and nice to me. To treat me well. Looks and financial things does not matter to me. My man happends to be most loving person, he shows it and that is what make us a good couple .


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## nullptr (Sep 21, 2012)

Paper Samurai said:


> Best post in thread goes to...


Her post awesomeness++ I think you understand that.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

galacticsenator said:


> Her post awesomeness++ I think you understand that.


awesomeness +1 right 

*programmer high five


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## Reclus (Jan 11, 2012)

mzmz said:


> i'm a 4 on the looks department but CANNOT date a guy under 4 or 5 or over 8


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## Sam1911 (Dec 4, 2010)

you're hot, would smash :rub


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## mzmz (Feb 26, 2012)

*and although i like how kind and nice you are*

your all being very vague..I mean, sure "attraction" is nice..but how is it you feel you deserve someone you are attracted to?

I know that MANY men who are "attracted" to ME seem to think that means im attracted to them/owe them "a chance" or sex, and i in fact want to flee and wish they wouldn't look at me due to the way they think of women.

so how could I EVER treat a man (who I consider to be more attractive to me, as I am to the men who seem to like ME) as if he owes me anything? I wish i did not know these disgusting men existed, so can I make an attractive man know I exist? it would be insensitive of me...


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## afff (Dec 27, 2012)

why don't you look at it mutually than like you both expect something from each other?


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)




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## mzmz (Feb 26, 2012)

*LOL*



arnie said:


>


Niether of those makes any sense


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## 1908 (Nov 9, 2012)

What, no "Must be above 6 feet tall" and "Full head of hair" criteria?


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## mzmz (Feb 26, 2012)

*i think women are not being honest*

i remember reading threads where they were MUCH MORE specific..which i was hoping for here. alas, i'm the only one posting needs:um


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

The basics:

Mid-range in attractiveness
Above average intelligence
Not religious
Has a job
Interested in movies, music, tv, etc.
Likes cats


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## totalloner (Jan 29, 2013)

Double Indemnity said:


> The basics:
> 
> Mid-range in attractiveness
> Above average intelligence
> ...


I was above average intelligence in elem. school. Does that count? Then everyone caught up and passed me in high school/later life.
I'm half bud/half Chris. Like a hybrid.
I have a part-time job
And I much prefer dogs.

Guess that counts me out. Actually the one about the cats is hardest for me.


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## totalloner (Jan 29, 2013)

And I hardly ever wear socks in sandals.
Mainly at home watching the football on TV. whilst havin a beear.:blank


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## Reinah (Apr 10, 2013)

mzmz said:


> Niether of those makes any sense


Its a mulan reference.


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

- breathing
- my age
- on same wavelength (pretty much what everyone else has said)

In that order.


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## totalloner (Jan 29, 2013)

rednosereindeer said:


> - breathing
> - my age
> - on same wavelength (pretty much what everyone else has said)
> 
> In that order.


wavelength will be a problem i admit as most people think I'm from a different planet.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

arnie said:


>


:yes


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## mzmz (Feb 26, 2012)

*thanks thats was more helpful and some of you have cute answers*

I think its weird when someone professes to love dogs or cats more.

I think we all have souls so maybe im looking for another Buddhist?

LOL:?

I made a random list of 
1 ) the things about my current crush that make me shake /attracted to and 
2) things that have made me really admire a guy & 
3) things that are the opposite of things that have NOT worked for me in the past
In no order here they are;

Original 
strong personality
different 
funny
nice
kind
good listener
a romantic (not to be confused with BEING romantic)
polite
manners
down to earth
not a pretty boy
cheesy
sweet
smart
reads (books, news)
likes new information
open minded
likes dinner parties, art shows and theater
loves old music
likes walking, outdoors
none smoker
social drinker
likes good food not garbage (maybe sometimes)
i want to never look away from his eyes and face
curly hair
doesn't want me to look like or act like a porn star
respects my wishes and wants me to enjoy sex
feminist
likes kids an animals
pro pet
thoughtful
likes kissing me
has conversations for the sake of themselves
not constantly trying to win something
good listener
has good stories
charismatic
reverence or respect for tradition history people
not into sports much (maybe hockey or soccer)
physically stronger then me
hairy chest
exercises or works out a little
slight sadist/power play/ control issues yang to my yin pls
rougher hands then me
well traveled
probably good with his hands
ambitious
decisive
not talkative all the time
likes films



some are not really fair like i want him to be ambitious but then i dont think i am that so i guess i should strike it from my list?
HALP.


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## mzmz (Feb 26, 2012)

*i dont think any of us needs you to be what one of our list says for a post*



totalloner said:


> I was above average intelligence in elem. school. Does that count? Then everyone caught up and passed me in high school/later life.
> I'm half bud/half Chris. Like a hybrid.
> I have a part-time job
> And I much prefer dogs.
> ...


if your going to post, tell us what you want or expect of weather you think we are being unreasonable or not..?:stu


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## Glass Child (Feb 28, 2013)

Uh, pretty much any guy who is friendly, likes videogames and doesn't annoy me/makes me laugh.

Almost everyone annoys me though so...


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## Daveyboy (Jan 13, 2013)

Implicate said:


> I prefer someone with skin and organs and stuff. That pretty much is the entirety of my list.


I have that..please ladies form an orderly line..


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## AmandaMarie87 (Apr 24, 2013)

TeenyBeany said:


> Never change your standards for a man if you feel like you dont have to! There is someone for everyone
> 
> I cannot date "pretty-boys" or guys that are totally muscle. I have my own criteria on what I feel comfortable around too


I agree with everything you said


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## AmandaMarie87 (Apr 24, 2013)

I also have a thing for guys who have stubble and wear glasses lately.


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## Astrofreak6 (Mar 30, 2013)

Good Mannerisms (rudeness is the BIGGEST turn-off for me)
Sensitive
Kind
Understanding
Smart
Altruistic
Likes wine
Smokes some pot every now and then (lol ;p)
Likes silent times
Enjoys live concerts in a bar
Cherishes his family

That's all I can remember right now, but those are the basics and a pretty good pointer for me


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## Charmander (Sep 5, 2012)

Having a long list of requirements just takes the fun out of it all.


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## Dear turtle (Sep 7, 2011)

Having a list would only set yourself up for disappointment.


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## Limmy (Feb 15, 2013)

He must recognize that


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## always starting over (Mar 15, 2013)

mzmz said:


> a romantic (not to be confused with BEING romantic)
> slight sadist/power play/ control issues yang to my yin pls


?


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

My perfect man in a nutshell


6'3
Toned but not muscle meathead, not skinny
Olive skin
Brunette
Athletic
Makes over $70k
21 to 35 years of age
Has a car
Is not too loud, but not deathly quiet
On the hairy side, but legs and arms and head/eyebrows, not so much the chest
Sexual but not horndog
Smells nice
Package size has to be greater than 6.5 inches
Family oriented
Doesn't have kids
College graduate
Decent fashion sense (not preppy little boy or metrosexual)
Doesn't look at himself more than he looks at me
Loves me more 
Ambitious
Does not live with mommy
Is a dog lover (not cat lover, for pansies)
Tans well (doesn't burn yick)
Makes me laugh. Hard.
Makes me ___. Hard. JK. 
Not balding
Not receding hairline
Not overly romantic like a chick flick
NOT pretty delicate features (like you mentioned OP)
Brown or hazel or green eyes (rarely attracted to light eyes)
No beard, some 5 oclock shadow is OK
Doesn't play video games
Doesn't have over 15% body fat (Reasonable for a guy)
Can hold mature conversation
Open Minded and Tolerant (not anti homosexual)
Wants to have kids someday
Is healthy (80th percentile and up)
Has beliefs that he is passionate about
Religious but not overly

Honestly speaking I think I'm worth the above.


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

calichick said:


> My perfect man in a nutshell
> 
> 6'3
> Toned but not muscle meathead, not skinny
> ...


well...good luck with all that.


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## mzmz (Feb 26, 2012)

i was kinda hoping to start a convo here but it hasent been concrete..like my list doesnt matter i made it as a thought exercise mostly.

maybe i'll ask a more simple Q

what would you fall for? if you met someone, can you image what would get your interest? or something that might be a dealbreaker?


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

im not a girl but ill post a trend that ive noticed in the girls i have had the biggest crushes on, and ill italicize the ones that are most important to me

*personality/interest*

_1.) they ride horses_

2.)some one who i can talk to, but i still can feel comfortable around when neither of us want to talk... like i dont want to feel like i have to fill the silence when around someone... like im ok with just quiet time spent together

_3.) likes/rides horses is a big one so ill list it twice to express its importance

4.) shows me affection... for some reason if someone likes me it makes me more attracted to them... i dont know why but it does
_
5.) laughs alot

_6.) honest/open_

7.)average or slightly above average intelligence... i cant relate really well to people who are einstien smart and i find them hard to talk to and its pretty obvious that most people arent attracted to stupidity

8.) not overly sarcastic

9.)they dont swear alot

10.) i dont know, but i assume i would like a touchy feely type girl... i rarely give them but it always feels good to hug a girl that i like, and i imagine that i would like to cuddle alot

11.) always leaned more towards the girly girl type than the tomboyish type...

12.) and this one is going to sound real stereotypical, borderline insulting, but i like those girls who will ask a guy to open a can a pickles or lift something heavy or ask him to get something at the top shelf for them...even if they can do it themsleves... i just think its cute and it makes me feel a little manlier lol

13.)likes similar music that i do...

14.) and id like a girl who would like to stroll together, be it through the park, on the beech, maybe just around the neighborhood on a cool night...

*looks*

1.) it depends alot on their ethnicity as weird as that is....if they are white i like them to be taller and have a slimmer appearance. If they are latin i like them to be shorter and curvier (not necessarily curvy as in "assets" but i mean like hip to waist ratio is wise, and maybe a little chub to hold on to). If they are black i like them a little thicker(not fat but a little bit of chub) and average height. if they are middle eastern i have always liked them to be averagish but have really nice hair. If they are asian i have liked them to be kinda short and cutish.

2.) _im really big on hair._.. if a girl has nice hair it will automatically make me melt... i like aubrun and dark brown/ black hair... and i like hair on the longer side.... i also like girls who dye their hair to tint it a fun color... like when girls tint thier hair purple or blue like this







... i also like highlights... and i like it when girls put thier hair in ponytails/buns, or really anytime a girls with long hair puts her hair up, doesnt really mater how... i dont really like blondes... dont know why...i also like when girls do the streaks in thier hair were they alternate in between like streaks of blonde and brunnette... i think thy call it highlights.... i like bangs aswell....

3.)im more of a boob man than an *** man... but i can fully appreciate both 

4.)i like a few different fashion arche types... like i like the super fashionable girls, but i also like the girls who just wear normal jeans and tee shirts... and i also like the girl next door look... i also have a weakness for girl boots like these








but i prefer the ones with the small heels like theses








as opposed to the stiletoo heels like the other pic... but only when worn with jeans, probably because it subconsciously makes me think that she might ride horses even though these arent riding boots... i dont really like it when girls were these with skirts or dresses though... u think i would but i dont... and i dont like ankle height boots for what ever reason...they just dont do anything for me... id prefer a girl who wears nice jeans over a girl who wears dresses/skirts... dont know why...

5.) i like make up... more or less because i think its very interesting how girls can do the shadowy eyes and the mascara and stuff... i kinda look at like art, cause alot of girls make it really cool and it gives them a mysterious kinda look... ive noticed myslef kinda noticing alot of makeup recently like, and not in a bad way... more like when you are a little kid and u see something cool and that "wow" feeling just kinda hits you... i really just think its interesting to look at for some reason... as long as its not clown face status...

6.) i like tiny stud nose rings and earrings... im not so found of tattoos and extreme piercings though

7.)i like fuller lips...

and i dont mean this list as a girl has to meet all of these before i ask her for a date.... if i met a girl who fit maybe 7 things in the personality category and maybe 3 or four things in the looks category i would consider her as being perfect... and i would be overwhelmed with happiness if someone who fit maybe 4 or 5 things in the personality category and maybe 2 or three things in the looks category wanted to be my gf... and i would definitely consider getting into a relationship with someone who only fit 3 or 4 things form the personality and two things from the looks category... i dont intend at all for this to be taken as "i would only date the five girls in the entire world who fit every last thing in the list"

lol man, i go into alot of detail when these types of threads come up lol...


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## mzmz (Feb 26, 2012)

Illmatic, although I appreciate the time you put into that, that why i wanted mostly or all girls..now its turned into a thread about physical characteristics. which i more a guy thing.
girls arent that picky if a guy isent dumb, is nice, and is funny we dont actully care that much what he looks like.


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## Reinah (Apr 10, 2013)

mzmz said:


> we dont actully care that much what he looks like.


I don't think that's true.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

You want a dude to be a feminist?


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## afff (Dec 27, 2012)

mzmz said:


> Illmatic, although I appreciate the time you put into that, that why i wanted mostly or all girls..now its turned into a thread about physical characteristics. which i more a guy thing.
> girls arent that picky if a guy isent dumb, is nice, and is funny we dont actully care that much what he looks like.


Lol bull****. Women care just as much if not more.


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## life01 (Feb 20, 2013)

maybe dropping the list which enables you to reject someone easily, why not just get to know someone first?


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## Reinah (Apr 10, 2013)

srschirm said:


> You want a dude to be a feminist?


That would be a plus

dealbreakers: anti-feminist, conservative family values type, preachy religious, sexist.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

For me it's often more of a case of I'll know it when I see it. Though there are some things (mostly personality points) that I like, obviously.

I'm not sure I can be bothered listing every point, especially as in the right guy I'd be willing to make allowances for many things... But I suppose I'll list some stuff.

Long hair, seriously, every time. Love long hair on men.

I'd like it if he's slim/normal weight, not overweight and definitely not too many muscles.

Not really hairy

I'm normally (though not always) attracted to a certain level of androgyny.

I like guy's who dress alternatively. I like Gothic guy's too but not too much make up on the face, eyeliner's hot though.

I can't be with someone who smokes, this is pretty much one of the few immovable rules I have. Just can't. :X

*edit:* lol sorry, just realised you didn't want physical. Well the smoking thing stands, I just couldn't be bothered listing personality points as there's quite a few. In my ideal guy anyway, as I said other than the long haired thing the guy's I tend to like are usually pretty different from one another hmm. Not too loud either I guess. Eccentricity, I like that. I like unusual people.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Persephone The Dread said:


> For me it's often more of a case of I'll know it when I see it. Though there are some things (mostly personality points) that I like, obviously.
> 
> I'm not sure I can be bothered listing every point, especially as in the right guy I'd be willing to make allowances for many things... But I suppose I'll list some stuff.
> 
> ...


Long hair and androgynous - asian dudes then :b ?


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## Darkwindz (Mar 30, 2013)

I think any prerequisite goes out of the window once you fall for that person. I find myself attracted more to less attractive girls, than to really attractive ones. Once you find out their personality, it definitely makes you think/feel different about that person. Trust me, it's not just women who find personality important.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Paper Samurai said:


> Long hair and androgynous - asian dudes then :b ?


People of every race, but yeah definitly Asian guy's too


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I forgot to mention this but accents/voice is kind of a big thing too. I go through phases but I really like Scottish accents right now. :mushy


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## mzmz (Feb 26, 2012)

*good respones*



srschirm said:


> You want a dude to be a feminist?


yup. feminist ; somone who believes in fighting for equal rights for women.

if hes not a feminist i dont like him.



afff said:


> Lol bull****. Women care just as much if not more.


I disagree but i realize this is stuck in your craw. i think there are women who like one type over another, and im sure there are things that are dealbreakers for everyone (for me its really overweight guys, totally bald guys, men with bad teeth, pretty boys, and men with softer hands then mine. for the most part tho, see the below post



Argaryn said:


> I think any prerequisite goes out of the window once you fall for that person. I find myself attracted more to less attractive girls, than to really attractive ones. Once you find out their personality, it definitely makes you think/feel different about that person. Trust me, it's not just women who find personality important.


^ thank you. its nice to know some men feel this way too. i have been attracted to guys and been totally turned off once i talk to them, as well as talking to a guy i dont think i like, when he impresses me so much as a human i decide i would be happy to try it out with him



Persephone The Dread said:


> I forgot to mention this but accents/voice is kind of a big thing too. I go through phases but I really like Scottish accents right now. :mushy


Thats so funny! i have a thing for Scottish accents too! I think its becuase scottish men are not known for their feminity and im sick of girly boys. LOL.


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## Life Aint No Joke (Mar 8, 2013)

srschirm said:


> You want a dude to be a feminist?


Glad to see I'm not the only one that thought this was weird. :|

I'm pretty sure a male that considers himself a *feminist* is almost certain to be gay.


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## TheTraveler (Jan 31, 2013)

A funny guy. Not a typical funny guy. The kind that can handle me burst out laughing for hours on end late at night or can tolerate my raunchy jokes etc.
Is happy with my "mr fix it" skills and likes it
Wants to show me a good time and treat me like a lady
Is ok if I end up making more than him. It bothers tins of men, dunno why but apparently guys see money as a dick measuring contest.
Honest and would never hurt me. (some women would either consider it required and others say if he is good looking or good in bed it is ok if they get hit)


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

Mzmz,
I think people are reacting to your "grading system" because the end result you desire is a deep and meaningful relationship. And that doesn't come from a number. It comes off like you're 10 years old talking about "the perfect man." No Buddhist philosophy I know of would promote such thinking. 

Guys do it also, but generally when we have a shallow measurement system, we are measure shallow things. 

If you're just talking about dating guys, I see no problem. If you're talking about wanting to find someone longterm, gotta ditch "the system."


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## mzmz (Feb 26, 2012)

Life Aint No Joke said:


> Glad to see I'm not the only one that thought this was weird. :|
> 
> I'm pretty sure a male that considers himself a *feminist* is almost certain to be gay.


i did not say he needs consider himself as one. i dont trust men who say they are femists. I siad he had to be one.



VanDamMan said:


> Mzmz,
> I think people are reacting to your "grading system" because the end result you desire is a deep and meaningful relationship. And that doesn't come from a number. It comes off like you're 10 years old talking about "the perfect man." No Buddhist philosophy I know of would promote such thinking.
> 
> Guys do it also, but generally when we have a shallow measurement system, we are measure shallow things.
> ...


 I dont think you really read my posts. I wasnt saying i had a forsure grading system i was just throwing that out there as a thought Idea, then i threw the list out as ideas. im just having a convo. dont hold me to it.


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## totalloner (Jan 29, 2013)

TheTraveler said:


> A funny guy. Not a typical funny guy. The kind that can handle me burst out laughing for hours on end late at night or can tolerate my raunchy jokes etc.
> *Is happy with my "mr fix it" skills and likes it*
> Wants to show me a good time and treat me like a lady
> Is ok if I end up making more than him. It bothers tins of men, dunno why but apparently guys see money as a dick measuring contest.
> Honest and would never hurt me. (some women would either consider it required and others say if he is good looking or good in bed it is ok if they get hit)


Since that's my big weakness, I'd love a handywoman partner.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

Blood and lots of it!

MUAHAHAHAHAHA MUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHA!


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## gusstaf (Jan 1, 2012)

Funny, reasonably intelligent and not a complete a**. Yes, I know, I'm setting the bar high.


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## life01 (Feb 20, 2013)

there are a lot double standards on this forum


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

tea111red said:


> they have to make me want to have a kid w/ them. i say this because i don't really want kids.


Neither do I.* Where do I sign?

*Offer doesn't extend to orphanages.


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## Wacky Wednesdays (Apr 10, 2011)

Affectionate, kind, loyal, trustworthy, cuddly.


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