# Strange?: An atheist that wants to remain a virgin until marriage



## demloops

If you meet an atheist that wants to remain a virgin until they're married, wouldn't you find that ironic? Does it even make sense?


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## sarafinanickelbocker

No. (meaning it's not ironic or strange)


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## persona non grata

It's not strange. Just because you don't think premarital sex is a sin doesn't mean it's suddenly mandatory. Live any way that makes you happy.


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## atokasmith

*Virginity*

There are a lot of good reasons to save sex for marriage. There are a lot of health reasons. People can get STDs, some even fatal. Unintended children can be born from a sexual relationship where the partners aren't committed to raising a child. I think there are a lot of children and adults who never felt wanted or that they belonged in this world. That might be why some of them are here on this social anxiety site. People who don't believe in an afterlife might want to get the most out of the life they're living now. A lot can be benefited from monogamy. It is a much more stable, healthy, mutually benefiting lifestyle than promiscuity.


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## Foh_Teej

Atheism says absolutely nothing about sexuality. Thread closed.


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## Freyja

His/her life, his/her choices, so long as they're not doing harm.
Deciding not to have sex causes no harm, so, no I wouldn't find it in any way reprehensible, strange or "ironic" (/inigomontoya.jpg).

Avoiding potential STDs is a pretty strong motivator, an asexual person might want to avoid sex as a whole and marry another asexual person for purely financial reasons or for companionship, might simply be a prude, might hide social ineptitude behind a "choice",... in the end, who cares. I'm not the "sex police".


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## hmweasley

I don't think it's weird. People have such a wide range of views on sex, and as long as they're not hurting anyone, I don't think any of it should be seen as weird. Wanting to wait until marriage is perfectly valid and there can be a lot of reasons for wanting to that don't involve religion.

I consider myself more agnostic than atheist as this point in my life, but I've considered waiting until marriage. It's possible it's a feeling that comes from my Catholic upbringing, but I think it's more my anxiety and how I feel around other people.


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## andy1984

depends on the atheists concept of marriage...


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## demloops

hmweasley said:


> I don't think it's weird. People have such a wide range of views on sex, and as long as they're not hurting anyone, I don't think any of it should be seen as weird. Wanting to wait until marriage is perfectly valid and there can be a lot of reasons for wanting to that don't involve religion.
> 
> I consider myself more agnostic than atheist as this point in my life, but I've considered waiting until marriage. It's possible it's a feeling that comes from my Catholic upbringing, but I think it's more my anxiety and how I feel around other people.


Thanks for all the responses, this was my fav, I can relate to it a lot!


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## DanTheOutlaw

It's common in society, everybody lives their lives through other peoples ideas, I wouldn't pay any notice to an atheist saying something like this as it has no consistency or meaning unless of course they had an actual reason.


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## Neoz

It's because they can't ditch their fedoras 

le tip tip


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## HelpfulHero

Our society is too sex focused, so maybe it would be a good thing


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## Justlittleme

well it's my kinda strange to be fair.


But I actually believe in God personally.


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## mud

I have no problem with premarrital sex and if you were asking I would recommend it. But that's not what you asked. No it is not strange; its a totaly personal thing. If that's what you want for yourself, its nobody elses business.


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## slyfox

It's your body, have sex when you want. Just means that want to make sure to save it for the right person


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## Life Underneath The Soil

Being atheist doesn't mean that you can't still have morals.


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## Jade18

idk too much value is put on virginity anyway i really dont get it
i had such high expectations from losing virginity thought id be taking to a magical new world full of unkown pleasure and wonders..
no not really no..
dont expect too mcuh from it lol


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## komorikun

Wouldn't you at least bang during the engagement?


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## atokasmith

Komorikun, that is so funny! It would probably need to be a two minute engagemnent with a quickie Mexican wedding!


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## Austere

I think it's a bit strange that atheists waits until after the marriage. To me, a marriage is just symbolic. I don't think that it's strange that people don't have sex outside steady relationships. "Waiting for the right one" is fine, but I don't see why they'd have to wait until after a ceremony.

I actually find marriages a bit superficial. It's more like a social tradition. So many gets married and acts as if it means much, when in fact their relationships are not necessarily more serious than non-married partners. I've been with my girlfriend for 9 years, and lived together for 7, and we're not married. I'm not planning to get married either. My older brother has a kid, and he's not married. He's been with his girlfriend for 4 years or so. I'm not sure if he's planning to get married, but I don't think he sees it as a given anyway.


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## RRAAGGEE

No that's not strange.


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## Cyclonic

Want strange? I'm an atheist that listens to and enjoys Christian music.


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## atokasmith

Madax, that's interesting, but really not much different than some Christians who listen to music that goes against the principles Jesus modeled.

I like this site, not just because we can understand each other's struggles, but because we can get our minds off social anxiety for a while and discuss other interesting topics. A lot of us are people who would probably never connect in person due to religious differences or our fear of socializing.


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## Saius

I don't see marriage as much of a good thing. I think titles in a relationship cause more harm than good (e.g. husband, wife, boyfriend, married, dating, etc.). That being said I think that sex is something that should be shared between two people who are wholly devoted to each other... 

I don't think it matters how such devotion and commitment comes about, through marriage, dating, friendship, so long as it is genuine... I think a lot of people don't get the difference between sex and making love. I prefer the latter, and honestly find sex boring without an emotional connection. I also think a lot of people have the wrong idea about dating and marriage. You should become naturally committed to a person through experience and companionship and love, not because you have legal paperwork telling you to.


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## The Sleeping Dragon

I think marriage is strange.


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## SkaredyKat777

I think it's a deeply personal choice, religion or no religion, and people should do whatever feels right for them.


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## MachoMatt

I really like the 'one true love' thing. To a lesser or greater degree, I want the first girl I go out with to be the one I end up marrying. It'll never happen that way, and I'm not holding myself back -- I'll take whoever I can get at this point! I guess that's my dream relationship (read: weirdo fantasy haha).


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## Whataloser

I don't consider sex to be anything religious so I wouldn't find it strange. Sex is so personal and some people just want to have one sexual partner for life. Nothing religious. I wish I waited but I lost my virginity to a person I thought I would marry. I only wanted one sexual partner for life. But he left me and now I can't even picture myself being sexual with another person. Probably due to social anxiety. Lol


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## jd42

There's nothing weird about it at all. As far as at least waiting for the right person to come along, I totally feel the same way.

Without the concept of God, you don't have some supreme being dictating to you that you must not have sex until marriage, but if that's what comes naturally to you, that's what you should do. 

For me, personally, I like the idea of committed monogamous relationships because I think that it's important that you always have someone in your life who you know you can count on for unconditional support in whatever you do. You don't really need a "God" to tell you that.


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## Caterpillar13

Nothing strange there


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## DistraughtOwl

I think It's admirable and respectful. There's nothing that says this is just a religious concept. I don't know if I would wait until marriage but at least I would wait until after a year or so into the relationship. I think people give themselves up too easily these days. They treat sex like it's not big deal.

I'm the type of person who is very unsure about marriage or if I want to be married in the future. I also think it would take more than two years to decide if someone would be right for marriage. So then I would be waiting for years to loose my virginity when I'm already a 21 year old male in my physical prime. I will have sex when it feels right. Although I don't know exactly when that will be. I don't trust most humans with that part of me.


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## forgetmylife

i guess it all comes down to your values and perception of sex


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## DaveTE311

I don't think it matters either way,people often talk about "chemistry" in a relationship and if sex is part of that then not knowing if you have that "bond" could be a problem,if people practice safe sex then it strikes me that being an atheist gives committed people more reason to try it rather than go on ridiculous religious doctrines,all religions seem to to imply we should be ashamed of the sexual act anyway! If you plan to marry and live with someone and find them physically attractive(which you damn well should!) then go ahead.Personally Im at odds because this awful anxiety condition has wrecked my confidence so much that my "bits" don't work anyway and am resigned to being single as society demands that we perform perfectly in that department it would seem


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