# Bodybuilding is not the answer!!!



## Awkward Penguin (Apr 23, 2012)

Listen up guys because i only created this account to share my experience with you about this subject

Age:21
Social anxiety level: about 8,5

*note that my english is not very good*

I remember developing SA at the age of 15 and i started lifting weights at the age of 16 mainly because i though i "was too skinny for girls to like me".
I have been doing this unnatural thing called bodybuilding for 4 years (16-20)
I never felt "big enough" even if i was 85kg and 1.80m tall at the age of 19
It's been 1 year since i dropped this stupid activity and i started facing my problems.

Please belive me guys: Girls don't give a **** if you are muscular or not. Getting bigger muscles will not make you more confident (on the long term)
I'm now able to accept my body the way it is and it feels 10 times better than constantly aiming for more muscle mass

I'd like to share more with you, but as you may have noticed, english is quite hard for me, and i find it hard to express what i have to say

If you want to do something concrete about your S.A.D, start doing a lot of outdoor phisical activity and spend more time in the sun. This will REALLY help you mental and phisical state! 
ah, and drop any S.A.D medicine unless you wanna die


----------



## PaysageDHiver (Jun 18, 2011)

I can identify. I was skinny in high school, and began to eat and lift like crazy to overcome it. I eventually got up to 230 pounds (at 5'10") during my sophomore year in college. I carried the weight pretty well, but my body fat percentage was way too high (probably ~25%). It was only last year that I realized that this isn't healthy and that most people don't find this look appealing. I'm now down to 177, feel great, look much better, and am getting more attention from females.


----------



## 67budp (Mar 1, 2012)

Sounds like you started working out for the wrong reason. No one said you had to be a body builder to attract women or get over your sa. Working out happens to be a good stress reducer and is a healthy part of a daily routine. It's also a good way to meet new people if you go to a gym. Your right, big muscles don't attract the majority of women, but they do appreciate a man that takes care of himself physically.


----------



## slushie87 (Jul 28, 2011)

67budp said:


> Sounds like you started working out for the wrong reason. No one said you had to be a body builder to attract women or get over your sa. Working out happens to be a good stress reducer and is a healthy part of a daily routine. It's also a good way to meet new people if you go to a gym. Your right, big muscles don't attract the majority of women, but they do appreciate a man that takes care of himself physically.


Agreed. It should be about what makes you feel good and confident. If someone wants to get into bodybuilding because it will make them feel confident and take their build to the next level then they should be able to..if someone hates lifting weights and doesn't care about having muscles then it's not for them. What happened to just doing it for you?


----------



## Zerix (Jan 21, 2012)

Very pointless thread...

Lifting is good!


----------



## hiimnotcool (Apr 28, 2009)

lol. i like looking big in clothes. bodybuilding is a means to achieve that. 

u mad?


----------



## SupaDupaFly (Sep 1, 2011)

Well it seems you were doing it for the wrong reason. Being in shape creates confidence. confidence creates being more social. What does that give you? improves you as a person inside and outside.. Bodybuilding is not stupid. its a lifestyle that can change lives for the good. you mirin?


----------



## Shredder (Apr 19, 2011)

I can relate to what you are saying but I have not given up training, just shifted my goals & focus a little. We all have different goals in life. I guess the thing is that some people are happy enough to just be big and don’t care about anything else. For me, I don’t think body building helped with SA. Like many things in life, if you’re trying to compensate for your insecurities the perceived 'cure' can easily just mask the problem in itself as it may leave underlying issues unaddressed.

I think you have to keep in mind that it may however make another person feel better about themselves. If that makes them happy and gives them confidence to have social exposure and get used interaction with other people then I guess it can work. 

Also keep in mind that meds have probably saved many lives, again they may not be for everyone, and each individual needs to figure out what works for them.


----------



## Kakumbus (Mar 27, 2012)

Yes yes , lets all get fat and stop exercise because you done it for the wrong reasons.


----------



## hiimnotcool (Apr 28, 2009)

SupaDupaFly said:


> Well it seems you were doing it for the wrong reason. Being in shape creates confidence. confidence creates being more social. What does that give you? improves you as a person inside and outside.. Bodybuilding is not stupid. its a lifestyle that can change lives for the good. you mirin?


do u even lift? :b


----------



## 50piecesteve (Feb 28, 2012)

we do what the **** we wanna do, its our thangggggggg -_-


----------



## Jr189 (Feb 10, 2012)

67budp said:


> Sounds like you started working out for the wrong reason. No one said you had to be a body builder to attract women or get over your sa. Working out happens to be a good stress reducer and is a healthy part of a daily routine. It's also a good way to meet new people if you go to a gym. Your right, big muscles don't attract the majority of women, but they do appreciate a man that takes care of himself physically.


Well said bro.:agree


----------



## LittleBearBrah (Feb 2, 2011)

notsureifsrs?


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

SupaDupaFly said:


> Well it seems you were doing it for the wrong reason. Being in shape creates confidence. confidence creates being more social. What does that give you? improves you as a person inside and outside.. Bodybuilding is not stupid. its a lifestyle that can change lives for the good. you mirin?


It takes dedication to do anything like this.



hiimnotcool said:


> do u even lift? :b


I don't, but you know I run.



Jr189 said:


> Well said bro.:agree


 See, JR189 agrees with SupaDupaFly. I am trying to keep my Paxil fat down. It ain't fun carrying a medication-induced spare tire everywhere, so I will deflate it as much as possible. It also relieves stress, and even tires me out. I run so much, I am usually good to fall asleep within three hours if I try.


----------



## Dr Hobo Scratch MD (Jun 24, 2011)

i say dont just focus on your body. develop all your important internal parts of yourself. let the bodybuilding be the icing on the cake. the ribbon to a beautiful expensive well wrapped gift.


----------



## mzmz (Feb 26, 2012)

*most girls arnt into "built" guys*

and its healthier to just run and do crunches and stuff so my question is

what gives men the impression that weight is such a great idea?

Skinny is hot, why go ruin that with bulk??

:roll


----------



## cold fission cure (Aug 31, 2010)

thx for this. never realized i wasn't working out my body - I was working out my demons. time to sell my stuff. does anybody need a suzanne somers Thighmaster (heavily used) or EZ-gym (moderately used)?? bodybuilders pay double. 

i also have pink weights, blue weights, and then a bunch of weights that aren't colors (they have numbers on them). bodybuilder surcharge applies.


----------



## Kakumbus (Mar 27, 2012)

cold fission cure said:


> thx for this. never realized i wasn't working out my body - I was working out my demons. time to sell my stuff. does anybody need a suzanne somers Thighmaster (heavily used) or EZ-gym (moderately used)?? bodybuilders pay double.
> 
> i also have pink weights, blue weights, and then a bunch of weights that aren't colors (they have numbers on them). bodybuilder surcharge applies.


look like you been waiting for someone to tell you to stop.


----------



## slushie87 (Jul 28, 2011)

mzmz said:


> and its healthier to just run and do crunches and stuff


That's not true....


----------



## hiimnotcool (Apr 28, 2009)

mzmz said:


> and its healthier to just run and do crunches and stuff so my question is
> 
> what gives men the impression that weight is such a great idea?
> 
> ...


lol...

please go. the only girls who don't like muscular bodies are the ones who feel inadequate and insecure because they aren't doing anything to make their bodies better.


----------



## Dr Hobo Scratch MD (Jun 24, 2011)

Kakumbus said:


> look like you been waiting for someone to tell you to stop.


HAHAha!


----------



## Dr Hobo Scratch MD (Jun 24, 2011)

mzmz said:


> and its healthier to just run and do crunches and stuff so my question is
> 
> what gives men the impression that weight is such a great idea?
> 
> ...


perhaps in the country of somalia.


----------



## THEuTASTEsOFeINKd (Apr 10, 2010)

mzmz said:


> and its healthier to just run and do crunches and stuff so my question is
> 
> what gives men the impression that weight is such a great idea?
> 
> ...


Skinny is hot... on some guys. Usually the ectomorphs who have like zero body fat and a good shoulder to hip ratio but others aren't as lucky. Bodybuilding isn't about getting as huge as you can, it's about building a body that you like and are confident in. You don't have to get huge and many guys don't. My goal is to get a solid frame, broader shoulders and back so I can feel more comfortable in the way clothes fit and so that I can hold my own in a competitive game of bball. Bodybuilding lifts are a great way to attain this goal for me. :yes


----------



## Meta14 (Jan 22, 2012)

It'd be impossible for me. I'd have to eat a **** ton of food, and do menial physical labour for an hour every week or more. It's so much work, and I'm so lazy xD


----------



## Shredder (Apr 19, 2011)

mzmz said:


> what gives men the impression that weight is such a great idea?
> :roll


It's a cave man thing... the big & strong survive. The small & weak run and hide or get beat up by the strong. In some ways we haven't really evolved that much :b


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

hiimnotcool said:


> lol...
> 
> please go. the only girls who don't like muscular bodies are the ones who feel inadequate and insecure because they aren't doing anything to make their bodies better.


There are girls who like my millenniummanliness and I am not bulked out.


----------



## LittleBearBrah (Feb 2, 2011)

hiimnotcool said:


> lol...
> 
> please go. the only girls who don't like muscular bodies are the ones who feel inadequate and insecure because they aren't doing anything to make their bodies better.


Or if you have that dere facial aesthetics. 
Exhibit A: 




Ladies there is no need to be upset since have discovered true nature.


----------



## slushie87 (Jul 28, 2011)

THEuTASTEsOFeINKd said:


> Skinny is hot... on some guys. Usually the ectomorphs who have like zero body fat and a good shoulder to hip ratio but others aren't as lucky. Bodybuilding isn't about getting as huge as you can, it's about building a body that you like and are confident in. You don't have to get huge and many guys don't. My goal is to get a solid frame, broader shoulders and back so I can feel more comfortable in the way clothes fit and so that I can hold my own in a competitive game of bball. Bodybuilding lifts are a great way to attain this goal for me. :yes


Idk, I've never been into ectomorph body types that have under 12% body fat with close to zero lean mass. I'm sorry, but it's just never been my thing. I though it was usually the mesomorphs that have the good shoulder to hip ratio. I'm also attracted to more muscular builds because of the work it takes to get that way. It takes less work to get skinny or just "thin" than it does to be ripped, shredded,defined, bulky, and ect...hell some ppl are just born skinny...no one is born looking like a bodybuilder.


----------



## THEuTASTEsOFeINKd (Apr 10, 2010)

slushie87 said:


> I though it was usually the mesomorphs that have the good shoulder to hip ratio. I'm also attracted to more muscular builds because of the work it takes to get that way. It takes less work to get skinny or just "thin" than it does to be ripped, shredded,defined, bulky, and ect...hell some ppl are just born skinny...no one is born looking like a bodybuilder.


I guess it depends what you define as a good shoulder to hip ratio. Most ectomorphs I see have hips that are narrower than their shoulders, which is what I define as a good shoulder to hip ratio :roll. Mesomorphs, on the other hand, are said to have broader shoulders so for me that means a really good shoulder to hip ratio. But I'm kind of bias due to my poor ratio. So what seems not so good to some, seems good to me...


----------



## Znailx (Feb 14, 2012)

I lift weights 1st of all cos it takes my mind of the rest of my ****ty life 2nd its a sense of a progress and archivement that i enjoy reason enough for me to do it.


----------



## RenegadeReloaded (Mar 12, 2011)

Awkward Penguin said:


> Please belive me guys: Girls don't give a **** if you are muscular or not. Getting bigger muscles will not make you more confident (on the long term)


101% true

when it comes to girls ripped and muscular or fat with a big belly is same sh*t from my experience

but, from health point of view and combating depression and anxiety gym and diet has a significant importance


----------



## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

I agree with the OP, but only in one situation - if you have an ugly face. If such is the case, getting ripped will not make you more attractive to 90% of women. They'll still look at your face and think "ugh". Actually I believe it makes a facially subpar man less attractive because it comes off as a sign of insecurity and neediness. That's only if you lift solely for appearences. For health, sports, or simple enjoyment it's still a legitimately beneficial activity.


----------



## hiimnotcool (Apr 28, 2009)

RenegadeReloaded said:


> 101% true
> 
> when it comes to girls ripped and muscular or fat with a big belly is same sh*t from my experience
> 
> but, from health point of view and combating depression and anxiety gym and diet has a significant importance


lol then you don't have much experience. guys with muscles will always get more positive attention from women than a guy that is fat.


----------



## LittleBearBrah (Feb 2, 2011)

Went grocery shopping in a tank top. Saw 3 female friends I haven't seen since last semester. First two were paired together and were flattering me about my muscularity. First thing I hear, "damn, what have you been doing". 

Decide to talk with them for a bit and accompany to walgreens. Waiting for one friend while she's in line with the other chatting next to the door. 3rd friend comes in says hi and starts eye-rapping me srs. 

Feelsgoodman. 

And before anyone thinks I don't have social anxiety I do, I met them in a summer program where the coordinators forced us to talk to the other freshman. Had no choice but to make friends lol.

Working out has worked wonders for me this semester. Got a slow start, but now in the best shape in my life at 19.
brb have 4 more marathons this year and possibly an ultramarthon
brb still seeing gains at the gym
brb social anxiety intensity went from 90% to 40%. I'm not spending all day worrying about going outside, worrying about talking to people in class, worrying about feeling awkward, worrying about making others uncomfortable. Not giving a F***.
brb social anxiety isn't controlling me life anymore. Going to the gym, going to the store, hitting up people, etc when I want to... not when I'm feeling brave that day.


----------



## hiimnotcool (Apr 28, 2009)

GoldenBear said:


> Went grocery shopping in a tank top. Saw 3 female friends I haven't seen since last semester. First two were paired together and were flattering me about my muscularity. First thing I hear, "damn, what have you been doing".
> 
> Decide to talk with them for a bit and accompany to walgreens. Waiting for one friend while she's in line with the other chatting next to the door. 3rd friend comes in says hi and starts eye-rapping me srs.
> 
> ...


hahaha and that's what its all about folks! the feeling of seeing people you haven't seen forever and them being shocked is priceless.

good work brah. what are your lifts?


----------



## RenegadeReloaded (Mar 12, 2011)

hiimnotcool said:


> lol then you don't have much experience. guys with muscles will always get more positive attention from women than a guy that is fat.


experience with girls not that much, but i went far from my comfort zone to force myself to talk and interact and flirt, and I so no difference in the attention or responsiveness from girls, muscle or fat

if you were talking about experience in gym, i have 1 year+ experience


----------



## Gryffindor85 (Nov 7, 2011)

I'm glad I don't have to get muscular to get girls, that was one of the things holding my confidence back. My only motivation in losing weight and getting fit is to get girls. I'm attracted to thin girls, so I feel it would help me to be thin myself. I'm attracted to some curvy girls, but most girls tend to go for guys that look better than them from what I've observed.


----------



## LittleBearBrah (Feb 2, 2011)

hiimnotcool said:


> hahaha and that's what its all about folks! the feeling of seeing people you haven't seen forever and them being shocked is priceless.
> 
> good work brah. what are your lifts?


Fuaaaark I'm weak as ***** brah. Started lifting this semester again.

bench 190 lbs 
squat 275lbs
deadlift 235lbs

Those are all I max out in.

My senior year
bench 225lbs
squat 315
deadlift dunno


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Amazingly enough, some girls like skinny or fat guys. They don't all just like the muscle men.


----------



## reshmita (May 3, 2012)

Girls definitely like muscular bodies. But, that's definitely not the only way girls do count on. There are lot of things girls look for. And if motive is to stay fit, workout definitely works. But I feel yoga therapy does the trick in a better and natural way. If *yoga therapy* can be practiced regularly, then it does world of good to that person. I am the the live example of that. I have been practicing yoga therapy for last 4 years and believe me, it has done wonder to my life. It got rid of lot of my diseases and I am an energetic guy than what I was ever.


----------



## THEuTASTEsOFeINKd (Apr 10, 2010)

shadowmask said:


> Actually I believe it makes a facially subpar man less attractive because it comes off as a sign of insecurity and neediness.


:sus Not cool...


----------



## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

I feel sexy when I'm in good shape not really a bodybuilder but with a low body fat range I don't think there's a cure for mental disorders exercise and diet help alleviate symptoms imo


----------



## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

@TASTE - That's only how I see it. An ugly dude who's jacked just looks...weird to me. Like his head doesn't belong on that body. It's almost laughably incongruent in my eyes, and imo body composition is nowhere near as important as facial aesthetics when it comes to attracting women. Not trying to put anyone down. Hell, my own face is about as pleasant to look at as a rottweiler's ***hole.


----------



## THEuTASTEsOFeINKd (Apr 10, 2010)

T_T okay.


----------



## Vincent Law (Apr 25, 2012)

hiimnotcool said:


> lol...
> 
> please go. the only girls who don't like muscular bodies are the ones who feel inadequate and insecure because they aren't doing anything to make their bodies better.


Well said.


----------



## Gryffindor85 (Nov 7, 2011)

WintersTale said:


> Amazingly enough, some girls like skinny or fat guys. They don't all just like the muscle men.


I'm not skinny, fat, or athletic, I'm just average.


----------



## whattothink (Jun 2, 2005)

I used body building as a wall in high school. I guess I subconsciously figured that if I looked big and strong and was silent, people wouldn't bother me. I was right. Too much work now, though. Especially considering I know now why I was so enthusiastic about it. Apparently it strains the heart and body in general and the additional energy requirements likely age you more quickly.


----------



## SupaDupaFly (Sep 1, 2011)

whattothink said:


> I used body building as a wall in high school. I guess I subconsciously figured that if I looked big and strong and was silent, people wouldn't bother me. I was right. Too much work now, though. Especially considering I know now why I was so enthusiastic about it. Apparently it strains the heart and body in general and the additional energy requirements likely age you more quickly.


Explain to me how having a healthy lifestyle can lead you to age quickly?


----------



## 50piecesteve (Feb 28, 2012)

shadowmask said:


> @TASTE - That's only how I see it. An ugly dude who's jacked just looks...weird to me. Like his head doesn't belong on that body. It's almost laughably incongruent in my eyes, and imo body composition is nowhere near as important as facial aesthetics when it comes to attracting women. Not trying to put anyone down. Hell, my own face is about as pleasant to look at as a rottweiler's ***hole.


Haha i dont think any of the dudes are trying to impress you though XD


----------



## uffie (May 11, 2010)

I don't see the point of being big to the point where you can't even do 5 pull ups.


----------



## MrWibblyWobbly (Mar 2, 2012)

Just for clarity's sake, I think we should be clear that: *weight-lifting/strength training ≠ bodybuilding*.

The terms have become interchangeable these days, probably as a result of Bodybuilding.com becoming somewhat of an internet hub for fitness information and the widespread availability and touting of creatine, protein supplements, etc. But not every guy who lifts weights and downs a protein shake afterwards is a bodybuilder. Bodybuilding, in its purest sense, is essentially a form of body modification, in which the ideal aesthetic is one of isolating each of the large skeletal muscle groups for maximum bulk and definition. The ideal bodybuilder has an almost grotesquely rippled physique, vascular and unwieldy.

Attaining this ideal involves a lifestyle commitment few people outside the competition racket are even interested in: meticulous control of one's macronutrient intake, strenuous cycles of bulking and cutting (which are hard on the body, and often involve periods of forced dehydration), and the use of anabolic steroids (even the so-called "natural" bodybuilders are often juicing).

Few people want to look like a bodybuilder. Most of the guys you see at the gym don't really care all that much about pursuing the bodybuilding ideal. They want to look like Gerard Butler in _300_ or Hugh Jackman as Wolverine or maybe Brad Pitt as Tyler Durden. This involves a somewhat more balanced exercise and diet regime, not as fixated on muscular hypertrophy as in the bodybuilding world.


----------



## RoflSaurus (Feb 25, 2012)

MavenMI6Agent009 said:


> I feel sexy when I'm in good shape not really a bodybuilder but with a low body fat range I don't think there's a cure for mental disorders exercise and diet help alleviate symptoms imo


Yes! I know this post is about guys & working out, buuuuut... I'm a girl, and when I put my mind to it and mix it up every day with weight lifting and cardio, my confidence goes through the roof. And when I'm doing that stuff for months on end, I -LOVE- my body. I'm assuming guys would feel the same about this too with their own bodies?


----------

