# What can the opposite sex do to get your attention?



## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

Well, tell me, cause in my delusional state I feel that knowing this information would actually have an effect on my solitary lifestyle. Oh my naive optimism.

What makes ME more aware of a guy (in order of importance):
1. Kindness
2. Intelligence
3. Introversion or humor


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

jump in front of me while im walking but that would just be a turn off


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## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

Kennnie said:


> jump in front of me while im walking but that would just be a turn off


your taking my use of the word 'attention' a bit too literally.


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

mcmuffinme said:


> your taking my use of the word 'attention' a bit too literally.


 yes i am lol


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

Frankly, a halfway good looking female only has to walk by to get the attention of most men.


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

PickleNose said:


> Frankly, a halfway good looking female only has to walk by to get the attention of most men.


 this is very true


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## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

Kennnie said:


> yes i am lol


i should have just taken your advice at face value and then come back online to complain about all the negative attention i'd recieved, lol. that'd teach you to mock my highly mock-able question.



> Frankly, a halfway good looking female only has to walk by to get the attention of most men.


so, should i assume i must be beneath the level of being a half-way good looking female because of my state of chronic singleness?


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

mcmuffinme said:


> i should have just taken your advice at face value and then come back online to complain about all the negative attention i'd recieved, lol. that'd teach you to mock my highly mock-able question.
> 
> so, should i assume i must be beneath the level of being a half-way good looking female because of my state of chronic singleness?


 i had multiple girls do that to me and i was completly turned off by and had a panic attack while running away lol and post a pic of yourself so we can see your beautiful self.:teeth


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## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

no worries, i wouldn't really do that. i don't like rejection, remember, SA!? I couldn't do that even if I wanted to, which I don't because that'd make no sense anyhow.

and I would really rather not post a picture. Even if you said I was stunning I'd just assume you were lying to be nice and if you told me the truth I couldn't take it. So, it's better I don't know so I can just hope to delude myself some of the time into believe I am, maybe attractive...

That's the catch-22 of telling a girl who's insecure about her looks that she's beautiful. Damn, I should bring that conundrum up to my therapist.


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

mcmuffinme said:


> no worries, i wouldn't really do that. i don't like rejection, remember, SA!? I couldn't do that even if I wanted to, which I don't because that'd make no sense anyhow.
> 
> and I would really rather not post a picture. Even if you said I was stunning I'd just assume you were lying and if you told me the truth I couldn't take it. So, it's better I don't know so I can just hope to delude myself some of the time into believe I am maybe attractive...


 ohh well


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

mcmuffinme said:


> so, should i assume i must be beneath the level of being a half-way good looking female because of my state of chronic singleness?


How many times have you been hit on?

My criteria for someone that deserves romantic attention is actually very, very different from that of the average guy. So they'll probably be of no help, but I'll still list them:

- Be assertive (yeah like you want the guy to be usually. I also find assertiveness attractive)
- Don't giggle. Ever. Laugh. But never giggle.
- Be slightly jaded and world-weary. Like me!
- Like grindcore (okay, that one's not really required)

And. No, you don't have to be funny or have a sense of humour. I don't need to be entertained by you. I can make my own funny.


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## stranger25 (Apr 29, 2010)

1. don't ignore my existance 

2. say hello

3. be alone

4 be "down to earth"


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

1. Walk into my field of vision
2. Look at me / smile
3. Talk to me
4. Be nice

Any of those will work for me. It really doesn't take much to make me notice and think about you.


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## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

Hmmm....how about,throw money around,buy nice rims (the ones that spin are especially dazzling),throw the word pimp around a lot-as in "Oh,that car is so pimp!!",spit frequently and scratch his bits and pieces! - Joking,Joking!!


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## Sadaiyappan (Jun 20, 2009)

Paying attention to me will get my attention. I get attention from the opposite sex. Just not the kind I want. I'm 27 now, most Indian women my age are married so it's hard to get friends of the opposite sex. I have to wait for my mom to marry me. And my relationship with her is not what it should be. She just abuses me verbally and does cruel things to me every day and this makes me less attractive. I'm rich, girls should want to marry me but she is making it hard.


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

acknowledge my existence.
show interest, or make it clearer :blank


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## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

Sadaiyappan said:


> Paying attention to me will get my attention. I get attention from the opposite sex. Just not the kind I want. I'm 27 now, most Indian women my age are married so it's hard to get friends of the opposite sex. I have to wait for my mom to marry me. And my relationship with her is not what it should be. She just abuses me verbally and does cruel things to me every day and this makes me less attractive. I'm rich, girls should want to marry me but she is making it hard.


Don't much like the idea of you marrying your mom!:afr'
And you're rich? That is strange,it's not as if any other qualities could POSSIBLY be of ANY importance!:roll


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## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

Eye contact, smiling at me, kindness, interested in what i have to say, hint of mystery, good sense of humour/sarcasm...... and more.... haha


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## IsThereAComputerOption (Apr 15, 2011)

Still Waters said:


> Don't much like the idea of you marrying your mom!:afr'


I laughed.

There really are no requirements. Just be interested.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

Eye contact.


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## Fantas Eyes (Mar 23, 2011)

Be a cute Mormon guy.


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## IcemanKilmer (Feb 20, 2011)

1. Treat me like a human being. 
2. Stop ignoring me like you have for the majority of my life. 
3. Stop talking trash on me when you do pay attention to me. 
4. Stop letting my shyness define me as a person in your eyes and voice. I'm not just some wimp that is a piece of trash you step on.
5. Most of all, try getting to know me. The real me. Not some 5 second conversation where you tell me I'm quiet.


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## liilliiliilllil (Nov 3, 2009)

Tits... show 'em.


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## Paragon (Apr 13, 2010)

Smile.

Eye contact.

Wear nice clothes and have some sense of style. I'm sure you put some effort into that already though  Style is subjective obviously, i don't mean you need to be all glammed up with perfect hair / makeup, high heels and a zillion accessories. Some guys don't like that look (i prefer nice dresses / cardigans or just jeans, converse and a nice hoodie  )

Be friendly.

If the guy talks to you, show interest in them and what they're talking about.

Laugh at their jokes even if theyre lame. Especially if they're lame. (some guys will tell a joke they know sucks on purpose to see if the girl is obviously just laughing cos they're into them). But don't go overboard heh.

Have similar interests / hobbies - ok that's not something you can make happen.. but if i run into a girl who likes some of the stuff i do it makes me a lot more interested.

Initiate things occasionally rather than the guy having to do all the chasing. Let him know he's not just attempting to pointlessly run up a brick wall.



Thinking of the last two girls who got my attention. The first i was around regularly without talking for a month or so. I noticed her staring at me, but she wasn't smiling so i wasn't sure what was up with that. Was a bit freaky. SMILE! I eventually started talking to her, after that she warmed up a bit and basically she was just always engaged and interested when i was talking to her, smiling at me, good eye contact, she texted me a fair bit and was some flirting too. She obviously liked me (later confirmed from a mutual friend - although i did nothing and someone else asked her out - woo go me?  )

Second girl - she was just really friendly and extroverted and talked to me more, although that kind of personality intimidates me at first, don't start thinking you need to be extroverted to be noticed or liked!! Anyway i was interested in her cos she shares pretty much most of my hobbies and is just a really nice friendly person, that's about it really. She's funny as well and we joke around. She is taken, though, so kinda pointless, but still, yeah, she was nice.



Then of course if you're just talking about any male attention then wear ****ty clothes and go to a bar with lots of drunk men. Wahey problem solved. I gather that's probably not what you're after though  Yeah, don't do that lol.

I hope you manage to find someone though. From your posts you seem like a cool girl so i am sure that you will eventually


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

Paragon said:


> Laugh at their jokes even if theyre lame. Especially if they're lame. (some guys will tell a joke they know sucks on purpose to see if the girl is obviously just laughing cos they're into them). But don't go overboard heh.


Yes, times a million. I hate it when people (not just girls) don't laugh at my lame jokes. You don't have to think it's comedy gold or anything, but just laugh because it shows you're easy-going and not overly serious, and it makes it easier for the person to get comfortable around you.


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## RUFB2327 (Sep 28, 2008)

Usually just talk to me. I don't get much attention from women, so when one actually talks to me in a genuine way, they stand out to me


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

Paragon said:


> Laugh at their jokes even if theyre lame. Especially if they're lame. (some guys will tell a joke they know sucks on purpose to see if the girl is obviously just laughing cos they're into them).


This is one thing I don't like. That teeeheeeeheheehe (I'm sure you can imagine it) kind of giggle girls do even at lame jokes turns me off so much. Alongwith the silly giggle, they also start to speak in a higher voice, and try to act coy or playful.

Please. Don't. If you're interested say so, don't put on that ridiculous "look at me!!! I'm so perky lol!!!!!" act.

Besides, lame jokes are a crime against humanity, be it a guy or girl cracking them.


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## Paragon (Apr 13, 2010)

Ah, i didn't so much mean the silly girly laugh lol. I just meant actual normal laughter. Was kinda why i said don't go overboard with it.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

1) Be assertive
2) Talk to me and show me your not a child
3) Do the "stare" that girls do if you don't want to approach

I've found that a lot of girls are either too passive or too assertive. Too passive is like doing something that may not directly involve me, like wearing makeup or dressing nice to get my attention. I can't read your mind. Too aggressive is like pushing me into something. I've messed stuff up like that before I think.


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

Paragon said:


> Laugh at their jokes even if theyre lame. Especially if they're lame. (some guys will tell a joke they know sucks on purpose to see if the girl is obviously just laughing cos they're into them). But don't go overboard heh.


I'm a remarkably honest person, so I don't feel comfortable with laughing at something unless I find it funny. I usually smile politely and/or chuckle dryly at a lame joke to acknowledge that a joke has been made, but I think I better stop doing it since apparently it can be misconstrued as a come-on.

...sure explains a lot of things, now that I think about it.


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## Sadaiyappan (Jun 20, 2009)

Still Waters said:


> Don't much like the idea of you marrying your mom!:afr'
> And you're rich? That is strange,it's not as if any other qualities could POSSIBLY be of ANY importance!:roll


When I say this I mean she should marry me to someone else.


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## Sadaiyappan (Jun 20, 2009)

Oops. Wrong thread.


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## Snow Bunny (Jan 28, 2009)

Laugh and smille. But maybe that's just me. I laugh and smile at everything when I'm generally talking to someone and it's nice when someone responds to it rather than being all serious making me feel like a weirdo.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

Be independent, quirky, and slightly "overweight" and signal she's attracted to me in a way I can't miss.


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## trendyfool (Apr 11, 2010)

Here's what the same sex can do to catch my interest:

--Be confident. Show that you're interested in the world around you and that you enjoy life.
--Dress well. It doesn't have to be a specific style, just show that you put effort into your appearance and clothes.
--Have something of an edge--like, be willing to say things that are provocative, and treat life like it's an adventure.
--Be kind and considerate of the people around you--but not in a sappy, boring way.
--Show your intelligence, but don't show it off.


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## MojoCrunch (Mar 25, 2011)

Actually talk to me instead of doing some weird staring type of thing.


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## Josh90 (Aug 22, 2008)

If you're genuinely interested in me, don't dismiss me after 5 seconds of awkwardness, have some ****ing patience.


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

Treat me like a human being with a personality instead of a sex object. Oh, and smile.


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## Doctor X (May 6, 2011)

IsThereAComputerOption said:


> I laughed.
> 
> There really are no requirements. Just be interested.


lol he is a fob from india what he means is he is waiting for his mom to get him married as in arranged to some other girl lol


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## i just want luv (Feb 13, 2011)

sneezing thoughts


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## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

laura024 said:


> Treat me like a human being with a personality instead of a sex object. Oh, and smile.


I thought of a good simile to explain what it is like to feel someone sees you as an object. it makes you feel like you're an entertainment device- like an iphone or something, and you're something that can be thrown away and replaced.


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## Kakaka (Apr 7, 2010)

Just make the effort to talk to me.


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## Zetsubou (May 7, 2011)

I find most makeup unattractive, pretty much just be natural and not some spherical 300 pound blob. Some girls seem really concerned about their weight, but I'm sure I'd be fine with it as long as it's under 180 lbs or something. I also find extremely skinny girls unattractive... less weight is not always better. Some girls also seem concerned about breast size, that doesn't really matter to me at all. 
I shamefully must admit the outside counts, like I probably wouldn't want to be with a really nice girl if they had a horribly disfigured face... but as far as looks go, something normal/average is enough for me to be attracted.

Getting past that, the personality, beliefs, likes/dislikes, etc. are most important. Basically they have to be similar to my own. For the relationship to work, I believe the two must love each other for who they are and that it should never be an act or whatever, like not trying to behave differently than normal just to impress the other person. I dunno how the hell you can really start a relationship with someone in person like that, though. Being shy or whatever, it's hard to start talking to someone and get to know them unless it's online or something.


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## uhhhbrandon (Dec 21, 2010)

Eye Contact
Smiling
Sense of humor
Kindness
Makes me feel comfortable
Own unique style


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## theJdogg (Sep 18, 2009)

Eye contact
Smile
Bit of cleavage
Say hi
Scream "I like you, you f-ing dunce!"
If that doesn't work, club me over the head and drag me to your home.
My anxiety makes me this clueless.


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## Emptyheart101 (May 18, 2011)

Confidence.


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## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

Talk to me
Be nice and down to earth

These are the first things that come to mind. :/


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

She needs to be real hot and wink a lot. But not so much that I think it's just a twitch in her eye. There's a balance. If you can't find that balance, DON'T BOTHER!


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## dustbunnies (May 18, 2011)

Stare at me with his dark piercing eyes. lol!


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## Spindrift (Mar 3, 2011)

Flare guns work.


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## dragongirl (Apr 6, 2011)

notice me
have a conversation with me and be patient while i try to talk loud enough
show concern if i apologize and tell him i have social anxiety 
be willing to get to know me
be kind
have black hair
have dark clothes 
have a sense of individuality 
have similar interests


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

dustbunnies said:


> Stare at me with his dark piercing eyes. lol!












:blank


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## theJdogg (Sep 18, 2009)

Spindrift said:


> Flare guns work.


:lol


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## SunnyFriday86 (Apr 16, 2011)

Attention and recognition from her.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

Grab me and give me a kiss.


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## watashi (Feb 6, 2008)

Well, eye contact only makes me think there must be something on my face or I look stupid. So talking in a friendly polite manner and a bit of flirting would get my attention. Looks wise they need to have some common dressing sense, not over dressed though. I prefer simple casual outfits myself and I like same on others. Although I might dig a cool unique style too.

I like girls who are kind, funny, smart and creative and we have to have something in common, otherise it's hard for me to relate to them and develop a connection. Someone who doesn't try too hard to impress me and isn't afraid to be themselves and say what they really think.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

Don't ever say gross things to me and don't be a sleaze. Other than that, just breathe and be polite. Not rocket science.


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## Lachlan (Jul 3, 2008)

Hope they have the x factor


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## dustbunnies (May 18, 2011)

heroin said:


> :blank


:um Would've worked if I could see the whole face... :b now I'm just reminded of sadako. :hide


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## atticusfinch (Dec 18, 2010)

i'm not going to lie - having some length to the hair just does it for me.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

Hip thrusts.


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## RyanAdams (Aug 15, 2008)

not a real gem said:


> Talk to me and persevere


THIS...as I am the king of cluelessness.


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## foodie (Apr 27, 2010)

.


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