# Sick of hearing about sex



## Delicate (May 23, 2008)

nvm


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

Yeah everyone is sex-obsessed. In truth the reason i hate hearing about it is because i am 28 and still a virgin. It kind of makes me feel left out. The less i hear about sex the less frustrated i become.


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## colinmc21 (Apr 4, 2008)

What I gather from that is it sounds like your boyfriend is being really unsensitive when he talks about or at least you feel uncomfortable even if it is appropriate (my guess is it isn't, I would deservedly be slapped by my GF if I ever started blabbing on about past sexual experiences with her or anybody else and for good reason). I would bring it up and tell him you don't appreciate it, otherwise he doesn't know he's done anything wrong.

As far as missing out on sex, you're not missing much. Everyone makes it out to be some huge deal, once you start doing it, one night stands, short term dating, long term dating, whatever, I've done them all, its not a big deal, in fact its kind of a let down, IMO. Especially two people who have never been together before or only recently, vast majority of the time it will be a lot of fumbling around, the two people having no idea where each other want to go with it, and it will probably be ackward and you'll say to yourself, wow THAT was nothing to be anxious about. Once in a blue moon early in a relationship or hook up or whatever, two people will know which each other want, and it's probably because their desires just so happen to line up, so chalk it up to dumb luck. 

First time for both people, or even only one person is always ackward, it just is, so that's nothing to worry about, but you only find that out afterwards.


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## Delicate (May 23, 2008)

It seemed to be everywhere today as well. Wish people'd hush up.

I think it's inapporopriate of him or just inconsiderate but you know it was a couple of months ago and I said nothing just was kind of off with him. Now he knows I'm not experienced maybe he'll get it. And I feel stupid that he knows that and I haven't seen him since, but there are circumstances... sort of hope that's the only reason. There's alot of little things I need to try and slip into a conversation but not even conversed in a while. And I still remember it should've let him know at the time but...

I don't really see it as a big deal but at the same time it annoys me when people talk about it and it sort of seems like showing off. Two customers at work, one was talking about her sex life to her friend and I'm just thinking why talk about that... in the middle of a shop... and not even lower your voice. And one of my co workers was talking to my manager about another co worker's private life... I can assume who she was talking about and it's someone I get on well with and I think THAT's inappropriate.


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## TheDaffodil (Jun 20, 2009)

*Yeah. I think sex is interesting and something to be curious about. I am a virgin but sometimes I want to talk about sex. I want to know things and discuss things so I do talk about it but it's really just a one-on-one conversation in private. I don't like it when people bring it in public and talk all loud like their sex lives are so wonderful and everyone has to know about it. I don't want to be bombarded with sex. It's natural, beautiful, special...but there are other things in the world that are natural and/or beautiful and/or special, and they should get equal conversation time! When someone only talks about one thing most of the time, it makes them boring to me anyway.  *


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## Delicate (May 23, 2008)

I don't think of it as anything, it's just a thing. I have this extreme fear of losing him now I've let myself care about him but I need to be close with him for both of us. I HATE that I find it so hard, I hate myself so much for things like this. Really. I wish he hadn't said that or I hadn't heard it but I mean worse thing's could've happened. I want to get close to him again but he's having problems and I don't want to pester him right now.

I feel like I'm becoming sort of prude but I don't think I really am like that. I don't want to hear about people having sex, I don't want to see it or hear about it. Maybe because I relate it to what I heard or just because it adds pressure and makes it like a big deal. Maybe I just AM sick... really.


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## Brightpaperwarewolf (Oct 16, 2008)

When you think of sex, how do you picture it with him?


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## Delicate (May 23, 2008)

I don't really picture it.. me and him... Well of couse I do but just how it's been so far and I'm embarassed that I don't know how or know what to do. I do think about it every day though.

I know how it feels when I'm with him... But I just feel sick about thinking of him with other people. I guess I just need to say that, to HIM.That probably sounds stupid to you, it sounds stupid to me too but... i must be pretty ****ed up... it's how it is at the minute.


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## Delicate (May 23, 2008)

^ Lol... thanks.
Getting really sick again today. Emotional. I just want to see him properly I know he's had stuff going on but... I'm just really scared. He won't make plans with me and now I'm scared to but wouldn't have been before. I feel vulnerable contacting him I'm scared he just hates me at the moment. I wouldn't even make plans with friends really cos it's not them I'm thinking about but he would. Some friends asked me to go away for a few days and I just thought **** it I don't feel motivated to do anything because I'm just anxious mostly about this I want to sort it out nothing's a big deal to me. It's just SO frustrating right now. I mean, really.


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## Brightpaperwarewolf (Oct 16, 2008)

Take a nice break, discover yourself, learn to deal with these feelings without thinking about him. You are too dependent on this guy for your emotional well-being and it's not healthy for yourself. You have to find another way to let out these frustrations.

You obviously care a lot about him that when you imagine him having sex with other people, it sickens you. It's a good sign, but you have to figure out a way to deal with the fact that most people you'll meet, especially as you get older will have slept with someone else at one time or another. But when you try to think about sex, think about the intimate moments you have with him, how nice it felt to be close and the conversations during those moments. Sex is a beautiful thing if you think of it in beautiful ways. People talk a lot of **** and you don't how true that might be, believe half of what you see, none of what you hear.


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## Delicate (May 23, 2008)

Thank you that helped. I just have a hard time handling emotions. He's out with a friend now and a little part of me's getting paranoid I don't wanna be like that though. It's been ages since I saw him properly. I'm ok though I know it's stupid getting so worked up but... it's just me... I hate that about myself but...


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## Brightpaperwarewolf (Oct 16, 2008)

It's not stupid, it's only natural. 

But you know drinking too often can make you have irrational thoughts and do irrational things. Too much of anything can, gives you something to think about. I know what it's like to rely something as a crutch and all it brings is more negative feelings about yourself because you don't feel free. You don't feel people love you because your emotions are altered all the time. Injecting some awareness for what causes some of your thoughts because I been down that road. 

I only say this because I care and hope for a happy ending for you two.


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## Eugenie (Feb 17, 2009)

I hope you're feeling better now. You do have every right to tell your boyfriend not to talk about his exes. It's just inappropriate, and frankly, he should know better. Not wanting to hear about that stuff is by no means an inadequacy on your part! Does hearing him talk like that make you feel like sex is a pretty cheap thing for him? I think some guys feel like they have to live up to this image of being 'a man' when it comes to sexual conquests, particularly in front of their friends. But their personal feelings on the subject might be quite different. Even though he is more experienced, he might feel just as uncomfortable as you do. With regards to the question about sex and affection... They shouldn't be different things! They might wind up being different things when it comes to one night stands and that kind of thing. But that's not the way it should be in a loving relationship.

And BTW- even though he has stuff going on, maybe you should try to see him. He might appreciate the support too.


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## Delicate (May 23, 2008)

Brightpaperwarewolf said:


> It's not stupid, it's only natural.
> 
> But you know drinking too often can make you have irrational thoughts and do irrational things. Too much of anything can, gives you something to think about. I know what it's like to rely something as a crutch and all it brings is more negative feelings about yourself because you don't feel free. You don't feel people love you because your emotions are altered all the time. Injecting some awareness for what causes some of your thoughts because I been down that road.
> 
> I only say this because I care and hope for a happy ending for you two.


hmm... I don't drink that much that my mood is altered. Thanks for your support you know I really do appreciate it. It's just weird and confuses me because he used to be in touch with me every day and used to try and meet up with me whenever we could. And now... it's just frustrating because I feel like I'm making all the effort and what's coming of it? I've not seen him for more than a few moments since that awkward night. I was worried that I've frustrated him too much.



Eugenie said:


> I hope you're feeling better now. You do have every right to tell your boyfriend not to talk about his exes. It's just inappropriate, and frankly, he should know better. Not wanting to hear about that stuff is by no means an inadequacy on your part! Does hearing him talk like that make you feel like sex is a pretty cheap thing for him? I think some guys feel like they have to live up to this image of being 'a man' when it comes to sexual conquests, particularly in front of their friends. But their personal feelings on the subject might be quite different. Even though he is more experienced, he might feel just as uncomfortable as you do. With regards to the question about sex and affection... They shouldn't be different things! They might wind up being different things when it comes to one night stands and that kind of thing. But that's not the way it should be in a loving relationship.
> 
> And BTW- even though he has stuff going on, maybe you should try to see him. He might appreciate the support too.


Yeah it makes it seem cheap and just whatever and I should have let him know my situation sooner but it was moving quite quickly... He just hardly even speaks to me at the moment. And yes he's had stuff going on but I think it was even before that. We were texting before and I just said, I'll see you somtime soon, but said it as a question and he stopped replying. I don't know if I should have been more supportive for him this week but I didn't know what to say and didn't see him, I didn't want to make it worse so just have been giving him space.


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## fern (Nov 16, 2008)

gaz said:


> Yeah everyone is sex-obsessed. In truth the reason i hate hearing about it is because i am 28 and still a virgin. It kind of makes me feel left out. The less i hear about sex the less frustrated i become.


:agree Never in my life did I think that I'd still be a virgin at this age. But here I am and society's obsession with sex just makes me feel worse about my situation, like I'm defective. Not having to hear about other peoples sex lives every 5 seconds sure would make things a lot easier.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I don't mind hearing about sex, but I hate it when people stigmatize people who aren't having sex as weird or creepy. Okay, I get it, you're not a virgin...not everyone is like you.


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## Some Russian Guy (Mar 20, 2009)

I'm still like a child, viewing sex as something amoral
like "ewww naked bodies"


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## Stanley (May 11, 2007)

WintersTale said:


> ...but I hate it when people stigmatize people who aren't having sex as weird or creepy.


Usually people that aren't having sex are being made fun of like "a loser who can't get laid", "no one wants him", etc. but I've never seen anyone regarding them as weird or creepy.


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## Some Russian Guy (Mar 20, 2009)

Stanley said:


> Usually people that aren't having sex are being made fun of like "a loser who can't get laid", "no one wants him", etc. but I've never seen anyone regarding them as weird or creepy.


on some forum I saw a girl said that she regards those men who don't have sex as insane


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## Some Russian Guy (Mar 20, 2009)

Stanley said:


> "a loser who can't get laid"


i get violent urges when i hear som' like that :mum


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## Stanley (May 11, 2007)

Some Russian Guy said:


> on some forum I saw a girl said that she regards those men who don't have sex as insane


I probably wouldn't pay much attention to what some random girl said on some forum, because I could easily quote 10 other random girls who do not regard those guys as insane. They do think of them as pathetic losers, but that's a different story :lol


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## Some Russian Guy (Mar 20, 2009)

Stanley said:


> I probably wouldn't pay much attention to what some random girl said on some forum, because I could easily quote 10 other random girls who do not regard those guys as insane. They do think of them as pathetic losers, but that's a different story :lol


that's even worse


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## sabueed (May 8, 2008)

I hate all this huge emphasis on sex. Especially when hanging out with friends.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

It's like Wild Kingdom.


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## EagerMinnow84 (Sep 1, 2007)

I never talk about it with anyone. I don't think it is really anyone's business. Society is obsessed with sex. I have a friend who makes little comments here and there about her sex life and it irks the daylights out of me!! She knows I am single and I really do not want to hear about her "exploits" but she still says stuff. I do think she brags to me about it to make herself feel better.


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## Some Russian Guy (Mar 20, 2009)

EagerMinnow84 said:


> I never talk about it with anyone. I don't think it is really anyone's business. Society is obsessed with sex. I have a friend who makes little comments here and there about her sex life and it irks the daylights out of me!! She knows I am single and I really do not want to hear about her "exploits" but she still says stuff. I do think she brags to me about it to make herself feel better.


when I was a teenager I thought the same way
I thought that all who has sex are all bad baaaad people


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## Delicate (May 23, 2008)

I'm sorry, I did start this with a topic in mind but I'm just gonna go off on a rant again.

I feel really selfish but I hate that he won't open up to me but I know I never do to him about even the smallest things. I know that he's dealing with something but he hasn't told me what. So it feels like I'm not being that good to him. I tell him that I miss him and I'd like to see him which to be frank is usually his role and... I'm getting nothing back. I contact him first and feel nervous about it just because it's usually him persuing me. He takes ages to reply just now he took 2 hours by which point I'd stopped checking my phone. When he texts me he just puts one kiss which he didn't used to. (I realise that's slightly neurotic) I don't know how to reply to him now because I'm upset that he's not been that attentive in the minimal contact we have. I may get back to him tomorrow or just see if I see him at work which I probably won't because they seem to keep moving me further away from him!

I'm frustrated because he's acting like he hates me. We've not even really been in contact the last few weeks. I just feel like he's acting cold towards me. I don't know if it's just because he's hurting I wish I was physically closer that I could just give him a hug and let him talk to me and comfort him. I don't even know what's happened. I'd guessed and was pretty certain but from what he just said it seems I was wrong. So now I'm clueless! And I don't want to ask him over text because it feels weird and impersonal. My friend said I should have just asked him, but it seems rude over the phone I just said he can talk to me if he needs to and that I'm really sorry... he just got annoyed with me for saying sorry.

I need to see him in person because he's gonna keep pushing me away I don't know how to be there for him without pissing him off, because I know I get pissed off easily when I'm dealing with things like that that's why I've just given him space. But still I'm clueless about what's going on. I'm worried for him. Also though he's evidently took the time to make plans with friends so... That just slightly irritates me. Last time I saw him it was awkward because we hadn't seen eachother for ages and he doesn't like that it got awkward and was upset about that but I couldn't be with him because it was awkward but I should have been more upfront. And now there are other circumstances. I want so badly for things to be ok though. I don't know if the problem is the sex and my problems or his personal stuff. So I get paranoid about both. I can't even talk because I can't seem to see him.


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## glarmph (May 21, 2009)

*bump*i'm sick of hearing about this..constantly. it seems like all self respect is lost.


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## No-Sturm-und-Drang (Jan 21, 2009)

I like to talk about it scientifically and the mechanics of it (i know its a nerd approach) but i feel threatened when people ask me if I've ever had sex,talk about their experiences with it.


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