# What counts as losing your virginity?



## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

This poll was inspired by another poster, who shall remain nameless. :b


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## mdiada (Jun 18, 2012)

Well, that is one sexy pic.


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## Charmander (Sep 5, 2012)

Penetration.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Your rod sliding against the velvet walls.


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## starburst93 (Dec 1, 2012)

When would a lesbian lose her virginity? Since everyone so far only selected some form of penetration. Would there need to be strap ons involved?


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## 000XXX000 (Dec 1, 2013)

starburst93 said:


> When would a lesbian lose her virginity? Since everyone so far only selected some form of penetration. Would there need to be strap ons involved?


seeing as how the people that have posted have been straight, that makes sense. perhaps a homosexual would be better "equipped" to answer that question?


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## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

Falling off a cliff.


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

Are you guys serious anymore 

Penetration obviously


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

starburst93 said:


> When would a lesbian lose her virginity? Since everyone so far only selected some form of penetration. Would there need to be strap ons involved?


Exactly! When everyone else does it, then it just counts as foreplay but somehow the magical addition of homosexuality turns it into 100 percent bonified "real sex" It doesn't make sense. :no


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

when a baby comes out.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

komorikun said:


> when a baby comes out.


Then you're still as saintly as the priest's daughter then?


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## Terranaut (Jul 11, 2013)

Having sex with someone who wants to have sex back with you. No hookers (or crack hos who'll blow you for the residue in your stem.):idea


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

RelinquishedHell said:


> Then you're still as saintly as the priest's daughter then?


Priests have daughters? :con


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Any sexual activity with another person involving physical contact with genitalia (yours or theirs).


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

komorikun said:


> Priests have daughters? :con


Yes. There are priests who have daughters.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

komorikun said:


> Priests have daughters? :con


I think priests can adopt with a bishop's permission.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Milco said:


> Any sexual activity with another person involving physical contact with genitalia (yours or theirs).


By this definition I've lost mine.

I'm still going to say actual penetration for heterosexuals though.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Probably a coincidence but was it my post in that male virgin thread? :lol

Personally I have different definitions for women/women male/male and male/woman. But they're not strict ones and if someone who's done differently claims they've lost their virginity I wouldn't really care. Some people seem to get really angry about it for some reason like it's serious business.


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## prettyful (Mar 14, 2013)

starburst93 said:


> When would a lesbian lose her virginity? Since everyone so far only selected some form of penetration. Would there need to be strap ons involved?


'Gay sex' isn't really sex.

Virginity is lost when a penis goes inside a vagina.


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## scooby (Jun 24, 2009)

prettyful said:


> 'Gay sex' isn't really sex.
> 
> Virginity is lost when a penis goes inside a vagina.


This person. lol. Imaginary sex.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Canadian Brotha said:


> By this definition I've lost mine.
> 
> I'm still going to say actual penetration for heterosexuals though.


I don't see why there's a need for different definitions based on different gender constellations.
Maybe in the future some revision will be needed as uhm.. robots :um.. become more common, but I'll just stick with the simple picture for now.

To me, it's much more about the emotional and psychological step of getting intimate with another person in a sexual way, than it is a kind of checklist for whether part A touched part B.
And that boundary would seem to be crossed by most of these activities and isn't exclusive to a particular kind of sex.

That said, these different activities could be performed in a way that doesn't involve that psychological step, and I wouldn't count it in those cases.


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## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

The fact there are different sexualities being recognized now and different meanings of what constitutes as sex for people shows that the term "virginity" is losing its archaic meaning and evolving.

I'm going push this debate a little further and ask this - would you consider someone(male or female) who did not have consensual sex(rape etc.) to be a virgin? My theory is that it is taboo for people to consider that as a loss of "virginity" - which could mean that the term "virginity" is open for all types of interpretations.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

prettyful said:


> 'Gay sex' isn't really sex.
> 
> Virginity is lost when a penis goes inside a vagina.


:/


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## 000XXX000 (Dec 1, 2013)

definitions change. ignorance follows if you think otherwise.


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## JH1983 (Nov 14, 2013)

If you're seriously not sure, then you're probably still a virgin. You'll know when you're not one anymore.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Bonus question: 20 years into the future, a virgin has sex with a humanoid robot that's physically indistinguishable from the real thing. Is he still a virgin?


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

arnie said:


> Bonus question: 20 years into the future, a virgin has sex with a humanoid robot that's physically indistinguishable from the real thing. Is he still a virgin?


Does the robot have human-like intelligence?


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

diamondheart89 said:


> Does the robot have human-like intelligence?


No, but the physical act of sex is the same.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

arnie said:


> No, but the physical act of sex is the same.


Then no, it's a glorified dildo/fleshlight.


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

Just did a google search and I'm surprised at all the meanings for the word. I suppose the number of meanings makes sense, the people who write these dictionaries are one step ahead of us. 

Personally, I've only used the word to refer to a person who has never had consensual sex, appropriate to the genders involved (that includes all of the options in poll lol).

I would not consider "sex' with a robot genuine sex until these robots provided all of the hormonal benefits that human to human sex does, at that point I suppose there isn't a distinguishable difference...in which case a new word would probably be in order, for the spiritual and/or precise.


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## JH1983 (Nov 14, 2013)

If he never found out that it was a robot and the robot and everyone involved with the robot were somehow all destroyed and the virgin lived the rest of his life without ever finding out I think there is a pretty good argument to be had that he's not a virgin. In his own eyes it would be the truth and who would be able to say any different?


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Milco said:


> I don't see why there's a need for different definitions based on different gender constellations.
> Maybe in the future some revision will be needed as uhm.. robots :um.. become more common, but I'll just stick with the simple picture for now.
> *
> To me, it's much more about the emotional and psychological step of getting intimate with another person in a sexual way, than it is a kind of checklist for whether part A touched part B.*
> ...


That's true. I'd say I was pretty much a virgin until I got my first boyfriend and started having regular sex. Cause before that I had no idea what I was doing and only had sex twice and months apart.

So I'd consider someone who had a 6 month long relationship where they only gave each other hand jobs and kissing more experienced than someone who had a couple one night stands.


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## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

D in V but not A. Not in the M, not with the H. Just D in V. Just be sure to J on the F.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

JH1983 said:


> If he never found out that it was a robot and the robot and everyone involved with the robot were somehow all destroyed and the virgin lived the rest of his life without ever finding out I think there is a pretty good argument to be had that he's not a virgin. In his own eyes it would be the truth and who would be able to say any different?


Does that count for blow up dolls too?

That's a pretty big "if". :lol

I think the definition for virginity varies depending on who you ask. Penetration is pretty much a tangible line, which you cannot cross and still be a virgin. However the mental issue is pretty important too. For example someone who was a virgin and gets raped, are they no longer a virgin? It depends on the context of the sexual contact.


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## extremly (Oct 25, 2012)

Robots? really? Just pay a prostitute/escort and get it over with. They are professionals and they know what they are doing.

Believe Me


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## JH1983 (Nov 14, 2013)

diamondheart89 said:


> Does that count for blow up dolls too?
> 
> That's a pretty big "if". :lol
> 
> I think the definition for virginity varies depending on who you ask. Penetration is pretty much a tangible line, which you cannot cross and still be a virgin. However the mental issue is pretty important too. For example someone who was a virgin and gets raped, are they no longer a virgin? It depends on the context of the sexual contact.


I actually enjoy playing out bizarre hypothetical situations. I would say no on the blow up doll unless the virgin was somehow tricked into going into a dark room and having sex with the doll thinking it was a real woman and then the doll is somehow destroyed and everyone involved somehow dies except the virgin and he lives the rest of his days believing it was a real woman.

"There is no truth except the truth that exists within you. Everything else is what someone is telling you." 
― Neale Donald Walsch

Seriously though, I agree with you. Penetration obviously makes you not a virgin. The rest is just a grey area that has never truly been clearly defined by society. With views on homosexuality and oral and anal sex becoming more accepted worldwide I'm sure it's only a matter of time before Webster's Dictionary has some new definitions.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I suppose one of the questions for this thread is whether sexual experience qualifies as a loss of virginity?...

I've had sexual experiences...kissing, touching, oral, dry humping, etc but none of those have been in the context of a sustained/defined relationship & they were all experiences few & far between. I still feel as though there is another step for me to take(a true relationship/penetration/explored pleasures) & that's why I consider myself a virgin.

For those that have never even held hands or hugged a gal I can understand why that sounds like blasphemy. 

I can also understand that what virginity means in the context of homosexual relationships is simply different because the biological significance of the experience is irrelevant in terms of reproduction. In terms of love and/or lust and/or emotion I suppose it's just a question for the individuals involved because I can't speak on what I don't know about.

With regard to robots...that's a bit of a weird fetish in my mind but to each their own, lol


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

extremly said:


> Robots? really? Just pay a prostitute/escort and get it over with. They are professionals and they know what they are doing.
> 
> Believe Me


How do you know you're not getting sloppy seconds? Or fifths?


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

I just assume that virginity related to the individual act and experience. You can have kids and still remain a virgin to doing certain things in the bedroom.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

So if oral sex doesn't count toward losing your virginity does that mean it's not actually sex? More like a nice warm penis massage? 8)


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

Penis in vagina, penis in ***, bare vagina against another one.

:eyes


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## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

starburst93 said:


> When would a lesbian lose her virginity? Since everyone so far only selected some form of penetration. Would there need to be strap ons involved?


This was answered in_ Chasing Amy_.


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## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

crimeclub said:


> D in V but not A. Not in the M, not with the H. Just D in V. Just be sure to J on the F.


The T must come into play with this somehow. :b


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Terranaut said:


> Having sex with someone who wants to have sex back with you. No hookers (or crack hos who'll blow you for the residue in your stem.):idea


No way! By that def I'm still virginal. BOOOOO!!!


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

arnie said:


> So if oral sex doesn't count toward losing your virginity does that mean it's not actually sex? More like a nice warm penis massage? 8)


Some people see it that way.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

Any of the above, none of the above, whatever the hell you want. Consider yourself a virgin or don't. It's an abstract concept rather than a concrete thing, so it doesn't have any inherent meaning, only the meaning you give it, if you choose to give it any meaning at all.

Honestly, the concept and the term and everything surrounding it is something I'd be happy to see disappear. Everything about it bothers me. It's way too tied up with heterocentric and phallocentric ideas, too tied up with ideas of sex being something dirty and shameful rather than natural and normal. It creates an unnecessary emphasis on sex in all the wrong ways. Look up 'virgin' in the dictionary and along with the standard definition you get _"pure; unsullied; undefiled__". _It's wrong to portray sex as something that defiles you; it's wrong to think someone is 'purer' before they've had sex than afterwards. Purity and sex have nothing to do with each other, because sex isn't something bad.

And all the language associated with virginity is pretty repulsive. You 'lose' your virginity or 'take' someone else's, you 'give it up' - you can't extract that kind of language from ideas of sex being a transaction or a concession, or what's more, ideas of sex being adversarial. Words like 'losing' and 'taking' turn sex from something you're consensually and mutually participating in to something that's being done to you - at best, something that you're yielding to. You're being portrayed as a recipient of someone else's sexuality rather than an active party in your own. And besides - there's nothing to _be_ lost or taken or given up. Virginity isn't some kind of posession that changes hands at the point of penetration. I take offense at the idea that a woman somehow changes state because a dick has been inside her.

And, yeah... it really is a heterocentric concept. To define 'losing your virginity' you have to have a concrete definition of what constitutes sex, and that's impossible across different sexualities.


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## Donnie in the Dark (Mar 15, 2011)

It's a harmless self-identification, so I'll say whatever you personally decide.



lisbeth said:


> Any of the above, none of the above, whatever the hell you want. Consider yourself a virgin or don't. It's an abstract concept rather than a concrete thing, so it doesn't have any inherent meaning, only the meaning you give it, if you choose to give it any meaning at all.


 Yep.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

Finger in the bum.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

lisbeth said:


> And all the language associated with virginity is pretty repulsive. You 'lose' your virginity or 'take' someone else's, you 'give it up' - you can't extract that kind of language from ideas of sex being a transaction or a concession, or what's more, ideas of sex being adversarial. Words like 'losing' and 'taking' turn sex from something you're consensually and mutually participating in to something that's being done to you - at best, something that you're yielding to. You're being portrayed as a recipient of someone else's sexuality rather than an active party in your own. And besides - there's nothing to _be_ lost or taken or given up. Virginity isn't some kind of posession that changes hands at the point of penetration. I take offense at the idea that a woman somehow changes state because a dick has been inside her.


IMO, you're looking into this way too much. You're entitled to your opinion, but to me it doesn't seem nearly that complicated, and it doesn't seem to have anything to do with agency whatsoever. Life loses its pleasure when you actively search for things to be offended by.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

tbyrfan said:


> IMO, you're looking into this way too much. You're entitled to your opinion, but to me it doesn't seem nearly that complicated, and it doesn't seem to have anything to do with agency whatsoever. Life loses its pleasure when you actively search for things to be offended by.


OK, if you feel that way. I'm studying English. Staring at words under a microscope is all I _do_.


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## Pennywise (Aug 18, 2011)

I think it only counts if you put it in the vagina, even the tip. And it doesn't matter whether or not you use a condom.


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