# I don't understand flirting...



## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

When every guy flirts does that mean they want one thing: sex?


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

How do you know when someone is flirting in the first place? :stu


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

deadrun said:


> When every guy flirts does that mean they want one thing: sex?


You're 18, so I assume the guys you meet are in that general age range. Yes, for the most part 18-year-old guys are really horny and want sex. I don't think I gave away any big secret there.

I think flirting is so stupid. Why do humans have to play this ridiculous mating game like animals? Are we not evolved enough to simply state "Hi, my name is [fill in blank]. Would you like to talk and get to know each other better?" Nope, we can't do that. That would be far too easy. We have to play this crazy game instead.


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

UltraShy said:


> I think flirting is so stupid. Why do humans have to play this ridiculous mating game like animals? Are we not evolved enough to simply state "Hi, my name is [fill in blank]. Would you like to talk and get to know each other better?" Nope, we can't do that. That would be far too easy. We have to play this crazy game instead.


 :agree

I actually said something similar to a guy once and he didn't quite know what to say. I think I freaked him out a little :cig


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

UltraShy said:


> Why do humans have to play this ridiculous mating game like animals?


Because we _are_ animals, and no, asking to be togheter or have sex wouldn't work, you need to make that person feel attracted to you first.

For the record, flirting is something girls crave (supposendly, sex for women require a certain level of physical intimacy before feeling comfortable enough to agree to it, thus, flirting), not the other way around. If guys knew they could get laid just by asking i really doubt they would bother with it.


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## Carbon Breather (Mar 13, 2005)

UltraShy said:


> deadrun said:
> 
> 
> > When every guy flirts does that mean they want one thing: sex?
> ...


Uhh... Going up to someone and introducing yourself is flirting to me.


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

Carbon Breather said:


> Uhh... Going up to someone and introducing yourself is flirting to me.


That's like saying firing up the stove and shoving a pan on it it's cooking... :lol


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## instil (Aug 19, 2005)

Lyric Suite said:


> [quote="Carbon Breather":9c4a6]
> Uhh... Going up to someone and introducing yourself is flirting to me.


That's like saying firing up the stove and shoving a pan on it it's cooking... :lol[/quote:9c4a6]

if theres food on that pan it is.
just like, depending on your intentions, introducing yourself is flirting.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Having food in the pan is like having a "Hello, My name is" nametag on.

Flirting is showing interest. There is something that intrigues the mind. It doesn't necessarily have to be about sex, it can be friendly.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

UltraShy said:


> deadrun said:
> 
> 
> > When every guy flirts does that mean they want one thing: sex?
> ...


 :agree :ditto about the flirting thing.

Well most of the guys I know/talk to are around 19 to 21, but I guess still the same range.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

millenniumman75 said:


> Having food in the pan is like having a "Hello, My name is" nametag on.
> 
> Flirting is showing interest. There is something that intrigues the mind. It doesn't necessarily have to be about sex, it can be friendly.


I get really confused about flirting because it hasn't happened to me until now with this one guy I'm interested in. :hide


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

UltraShy said:


> I think flirting is so stupid. Why do humans have to play this ridiculous mating game like animals? Are we not evolved enough to simply state "Hi, my name is [fill in blank]. Would you like to talk and get to know each other better?" Nope, we can't do that. That would be far too easy. We have to play this crazy game instead.


 :agree because I am so bad at playing the game. I never know if the guy is actually interested in me, or if he is just being friendly. Sometimes I think a guy is interested in me, then he suddenly mentions something about his girlfriend whom he's sooooo in love with, and I'm like, WTF? Do you like me or not? Sometimes I think it would be easier to stop playing games, and say exactly what's on our minds.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

deadrun said:


> When every guy flirts does that mean they want one thing: sex?


It's probably one of them. I hate it when I see people flirting, they look so ridiculous I can't bare to watch. ops


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## Argo (May 1, 2005)

People will flirt for no reason at all. I think it's more women than men that do this, but some people just get a buzz from it and like seeing what reactions they get.


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## mayblue (Oct 1, 2005)

Sometimes I find myself flirting involuntarily if I'm attracted to someone. Then when I realize it I get really embarrassed.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

UltraShy said:


> deadrun said:
> 
> 
> > When every guy flirts does that mean they want one thing: sex?
> ...


I think if I used those exact words I'd get shut down 99% of the time. It would be nice if it was that simple as I'd rather be short and sweet with the first encounters. Intentions would be out on the table. Next meeting you get to know eachother by asking questions. My anxiety would be so much lower if it was that simple. It would be almost impossible to come off awkward if that was considered the norm.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

mayblue said:


> Sometimes I find myself flirting involuntarily if I'm attracted to someone. Then when I realize it I get really embarrassed.


Is non-verbal actions by a woman considered flirting? I've only had a woman verbally attempt to spark convo with me a few times. Isn't usually the guy that initiates the verbal flirting?


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

deadrun said:


> When every guy flirts does that mean they want one thing: sex?


No. Although if I got to know a girl and she turned out to be nearly everything I was looking my sexual desire towards her would shoot through the roof. I'd say my whole intention is to find someone special.


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## mayblue (Oct 1, 2005)

scairy said:


> mayblue said:
> 
> 
> > Sometimes I find myself flirting involuntarily if I'm attracted to someone. Then when I realize it I get really embarrassed.
> ...


Yeah, I'm talking about non-verbal flirting. I don't know if most people consider it flirting but to me it is.


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## instil (Aug 19, 2005)

mayblue said:


> scairy said:
> 
> 
> > mayblue said:
> ...


girls do the non-verbal flirting much more than the verbal kind, you have to be aware so you pick up on it. rarely does a girl 'hit on me', but ive gotten the non-verbal flirting many times. At least then, shes giving you the OK to start the conversation with her. If you learn to pick up on those signals, youll decrease the amount of times you get shot down when trying to talk to a girl.


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## RacerX (Jun 12, 2006)

A friend of mine explained it to me. He always finds success with the ladies so I believe him when he explains this to me.

No matter the situation, it would be considered a social faux pas to just walk up to someone and ask 'hey, would you like to have sex?'. So instead, you 'flirt' which is subtler. It's exactly the same as asking someone to have sex, but just through 'signals' and body languauge. It's intentional, it's not some subconscious reaction to someone you find attractive, it's simply a means to let the person know without having to say something as inappropiate and socially unacceptable as 'let's have sex'. So it's then a matter of someone giving a signal, someone interpreting that signal, then it's done with. Now the hard part is working up the nerve to act on the signals.


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## Christian (Oct 5, 2006)

I was just wondering: What are these non-verbal flirting techniques?

Also, I have flirted verbally but it never actually enters my mind at the time. It just feels like talking to me.


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## Christian (Oct 5, 2006)

<flirt 
verb _ 
to behave as if sexually attracted to someone, although not seriously:
Christina was flirting with just about every man in the room.>

Definition from http://dictionary.cambridge.org

So flirting is non-serious, which I guess means that it's playful and by flirting, we are slowly moving from being a stranger to being an aquantence, which can lead to being a friend. This can cause people to let their guards down and let us in. It seems to be a safety mechanism as a preclude to sex._


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## Blue Bird (Jun 28, 2004)

I'd like flirting if I was good at it, but since I don't even know how, I hate it. If I guy would ever flirt with me, I'd be too nervous to even be aware of what's going on.


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## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

RacerX said:


> No matter the situation, it would be considered a social faux pas to just walk up to someone and ask 'hey, would you like to have sex?'. So instead, you 'flirt' which is subtler. It's exactly the same as asking someone to have sex, but just through 'signals' and body languauge. It's intentional...


That's a good way of looking at it.

To me, flirting is just being playful with the other person. If you can comfortably be playful with someone, then people will think you're flirting.

When I was younger people accused me of flirting a lot and I didn't even know what I was doing.


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

Flirting is conversational foreplay. It's actually a way of testing someone's reactions to you without coming across as a lout. If the inititial reaction is negative, any comments made can easily be laughed off as a joke. This is why we have the concept of "lines". These are opening comments of flirtacious banter that someone thinks might lead to more.

Flirting can also be used as a means of teasing someone in a playful way. If I make a comment about taking Scrub Ducky with me to the tub, I'm flirting but it's meaningless because A. he's straight & B. He's in Arizona. Likewise Ducky can make similiar comments back to me and we both know that neither one of us is serious. 

We use flirting to build up relationships. By joking, kidding and flirting we get a sense of what a person is like. Serious conversation comes later. If Ducky and I were to meet face to face, I would not hesitate to give him a hug. That's as far as it would go. (unless he wants to take it further) *example of flirting* :b


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

RacerX said:


> No matter the situation, it would be considered a social faux pas to just walk up to someone and ask 'hey, would you like to have sex?'.


That would be pretty funny.

Flirting is fun.


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## Your Lover Scrub Ducky (Jul 26, 2004)

Amocholes said:


> Flirting is conversational foreplay. It's actually a way of testing someone's reactions to you without coming across as a lout. If the inititial reaction is negative, any comments made can easily be laughed off as a joke. This is why we have the concept of "lines". These are opening comments of flirtacious banter that someone thinks might lead to more.
> 
> Flirting can also be used as a means of teasing someone in a playful way. If I make a comment about taking Scrub Ducky with me to the tub, I'm flirting but it's meaningless because A. he's straight & B. He's in Arizona. Likewise Ducky can make similiar comments back to me and we both know that neither one of us is serious.
> 
> We use flirting to build up relationships. By joking, kidding and flirting we get a sense of what a person is like. Serious conversation comes later. If Ducky and I were to meet face to face, I would not hesitate to give him a hug. That's as far as it would go. (unless he wants to take it further) *example of flirting* :b


:agree :lol 
Overall, Flirting is just about letting loose and having fun. And a way to make friends who can reach places you can't while bathing.


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

*scrubs between Ducky's shoulder blades*


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## Your Lover Scrub Ducky (Jul 26, 2004)

oh cmon now...you know those arent my shoulder blades...naughty naughty *spank*


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