# Always making mistakes - What's wrong with me?



## Countess (Nov 28, 2014)

Hello, guys,


This is my first post. I usually read a lot of your posts, but never had the courage to speak myself. 


So I'm in this new (first) job for 2 months now, and the thing is that I completely suck at it. I work 12 hours (3 days a week) as an office assistant; easy job, well-paid. My problem is that I keep making terrible mistakes everyday. No normal person would do the things I do, I feel like I don't have any common sense, like I'm retarded or something. People get embarrassed for me, they just look at me with that stunned expression of "what the hell is wrong with you?". I feel like saying that I wonder this same thing every day. I'm what Balzac called “innocent, gullible, and blinded by illusions”. No common sense, no sagacity; I'm stupid, insecure, anxious and everybody sees it. None of my coworkers neither my boss have any confidence in me because of my gross mistakes. I feel inferior to everyone else at my job and the harder I try, the more mistakes I seem to make. 


What kills me though is that I only feel like that when interacting with the world and people around me, but not within myself, even if others will automatically label me stupid without taking anything else into context. I am not attuned to this world of concreteness and irrevocable truths, as I analyse everything according to its particularities. And in my context I'm just scared and anxious, I keep apologising myself and telling me that 'I'm not that bad', that I'm just scared and inexperienced and they're wrong for not giving me a chance; but how many chances do I need? Everyday I try my best and every single time I do something even worst than the day before. I will be fired very soon because of my last few 'accomplishments'. Every time I learn from a mistake, I also learn how to make a bigger one. What the hell is wrong with me?


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## DJAshton (Jun 8, 2015)

Countess said:


> Hello, guys,
> 
> This is my first post. I usually read a lot of your posts, but never had the courage to speak myself.
> 
> ...


Well straight off the bat, its easy to tell that you are certainly NOT stupid. Maybe its you, that needs to give yourself a chance? You can do anything if you put your mind to it 

Remember that everybody makes mistakes, its human nature.

Believe in yourself


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Same. People don't even understand my mistakes they are so dumb. Like how can someone even mess it up that bad??


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## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

Can you give an example of the type of mistakes you make? (No specifics or anything, the general idea).


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## Countess (Nov 28, 2014)

Thank you for your answers. And sorry about the bad English, it is not my first language and I'm nervous.



caveman8 said:


> Can you give an example of the type of mistakes you make? (No specifics or anything, the general idea).


My colleague - a person I barely knew - was recently fired because of rumours about a POSSIBLE relationship with a co-worker, and I defended her, *told the boss that he had no evidence for this kind of assumption*... I have this methodical sense of justice that is simply ridiculous. I keep thinking people have to do things based on evidence, on what's fair and just, even IF THE PERSON IS MY BOSS. **** me. It is not something I do on purpose though. And today during my shift* I gave someone's payment to a colleague to deliver* - that is, I trust people, I thought a colleague would not cheat on another colleague. Seriously... It is stupid.

Opera, novels and Philosophy did nothing for my intellect, only made me seem more of a freak to the regular people.


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## pineapplebun (Oct 25, 2011)

Countess said:


> *My colleague - a person I barely knew - was recently fired because of rumours about a POSSIBLE relationship with a co-worker, and I defended her, told the boss that he had no evidence for this kind of assumption... I have this methodical sense of justice that is simply ridiculous.* I keep thinking people have to do things based on evidence, on what's fair and just, even IF THE PERSON IS MY BOSS. **** me. It is not something I do on purpose though. And today during my shift* I gave someone's payment to a colleague to deliver* - that is, I trust people, I thought a colleague would not cheat on another colleague. Seriously... It is stupid.
> 
> Opera, novels and Philosophy did nothing for my intellect, only made me seem more of a freak to the regular people.


I kind of don't really see the bolded as a mistake at all. I would have done the same but perhaps the tone the message is conveyed also affects whether it'd be received positively or negatively. Also, at the back of my head, if a manager were to base their decisions on RUMOURS, I'd lose my respect for them for having such immature decision-making skills that have no basis since it's not uncommon in the workplace for people to be malicious and spread rumours like they failed to grow up from high school just because they feel threatened by a co-worker or jealous and have nothing to do with professional performance or boundaries.


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## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

Ah ok...was that revealed by the boss as the reason for firing, or was the reason for firing a rumour itself?

And with money/payments, keep it confidential unless you know it's common knowledge or the other person you trusted is authorized to know same.


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## Countess (Nov 28, 2014)

pineapplebun said:


> Also, at the back of my head, if a manager were to base their decisions on RUMOURS, I'd lose my respect for them for having such immature decision-making skills that have no basis since it's not uncommon in the workplace for people to be malicious and spread rumours like they failed to grow up from high school just because they feel threatened by a co-worker or jealous and have nothing to do with professional performance or boundaries.


Exactly! He do not base anything on evidence, but on a poor, inarticulate judgement, on "instinct". He's also a megalomaniac. 


caveman8 said:


> Ah ok...was that revealed by the boss as the reason for firing, or was the reason for firing a rumour itself?.


He told us he fired her because there was a rumour about her and he could not tolerate that, because no one would start talking about her if she had not given possible reasons for gossip. "Where there's smoke there's fire", he said.



caveman8 said:


> And with money/payments, keep it confidential unless you know it's common knowledge or the other person you trusted is authorized to know same.


Yes, that's why I said it's like I have no common sense, no sagacity... I am unable to see the obvious. But I also make these small mistakes everyday, like forgetting things, not paying attention to what I'm doing, not listening to what people are saying on the phone... Everything makes me tense and anxious.


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## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

Wow. The boss sounds like he's on shaky ground there.

Maybe need to check your work after you think it's done? So if you weren't paying attention, you'd pick up mistakes while checking - consider checking an important part of the process. Forgetting: keep a written list of tasks, anything you need to do later should be written down - and review daily. There are plenty of apps/software that can help with this. If you have a daily routine of repeating tasks, document it as well.


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## indiscipline (May 24, 2015)

The way you express yourself definitely tells me you're not _at all_ retarded, gullible or blinded by illusions. It takes more than common sense to be able to articulate an evaluation of yourself like the one you just did, don't be too hard on yourself. Being "detached" and a bit absent minded is a totally separate thing from being a pinhead! Being anxious about things and situations tends to take people off guard, it happens to literally everyone. Some people just have it in higher levels, I think that's the real issue here; not your ability to perceive because you seem bright as a lightbulb.

And you say English isn't even your first language? :roll


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## Countess (Nov 28, 2014)

caveman8 said:


> Keep a written list of tasks, anything you need to do later should be written down - and review daily. There are plenty of apps/software that can help with this. If you have a daily routine of repeating tasks, document it as well.


Even though my job is quite easy, it may be a good idea to note things down, even if it would be simply a mental exercise. I appreciate your time and advices, much obliged.



indiscipline said:


> The way you express yourself definitely tells me you're not _at all_ retarded, gullible or blinded by illusions. It takes more than common sense to be able to articulate an evaluation of yourself like the one you just did, don't be too hard on yourself. Being "detached" and a bit absent minded is a totally separate thing from being a pinhead! Being anxious about things and situations tends to take people off guard, it happens to literally everyone. Some people just have it in higher levels, I think that's the real issue here; not your ability to perceive because you seem bright as a lightbulb.
> 
> And you say English isn't even your first language? :roll


You are very kind, dear. 

Right now I'm afraid to suffer the consequences of yesterday's failures, but I feel a bit more confident to face it since I had the chance to meet such a good people in this forum. Thank you all, again.


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## dadadoom (Nov 14, 2013)

OK seeing your verbal intelligence hypertrophy coupled with an underdeveloped "common sense" and "low ability to function in mundane settings" I am going to diagnose you with some form of Asperger´s Syndrome. I suffer from it myself and can relate absolutely to your experiences, also to your fondness of being articulate.

Generally speaking, it appears that ADD is closely related to the lesser forms of autism, so that accounts as well for many of the "incredible mistakes" we continue to make that keep neurotypicals astonished, amused or infuriated.

Being practical, normal jobs are not for us. We can keep them with great effort and large amounts of understanding from our superiors but at the end of the day some vulgar person would perfom better. Our jobs are to be intellectuals, creators, scientists, critics, artists, etc, always being the job more theorical than practical, and more creative than repetitive/responsible.

Example. I cannot go with my uncle to Brussels to help him with his paddle business even while he offered it to me, as experience has shown me time and again that I am a social and physical-related-work retard. I can, instead, amaze people with what I write in an exam where I discuss the socio-political context of certain text regarding the Black and Women situation in America in 1939.


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## Countess (Nov 28, 2014)

dadadoom said:


> OK seeing your verbal intelligence hypertrophy coupled with an underdeveloped "common sense" and "low ability to function in mundane settings" I am going to diagnose you with some form of Asperger´s Syndrome. I suffer from it myself and can relate absolutely to your experiences, also to your fondness of being articulate.
> 
> Generally speaking, it appears that ADD is closely related to the lesser forms of autism, so that accounts as well for many of the "incredible mistakes" we continue to make that keep neurotypicals astonished, amused or infuriated.
> 
> ...


I can completely relate to what you just said. Never thought about the possibility of Asperger's Syndrome, thanks for sharing.

Don't know where this "verbal intelligence hypertrophy" premise came from, since I still don't quite have the proper vocabulary. I'll accept that for my vernacular language, though. 

Anyway, I couldn't have said it better. I waited until today to respond because I thought a lot about what you said. I felt so miserable and inferior whilst working, for a moment I just wanted to leave the place and never come back. I think you're right. Nevertheless, I don't want to apologize myself and fall into some kind of comfort zone trap with my constant stupidity, reducing any attempt of self-knowledge into self-pity only to find a way to justify my mistakes. I could have added that I spent 4 years suffering from agoraphobia and kind of lost myself in the process. Maybe I just need to accept myself, but to do that I'll have to re-discover myself.

*Forgive me* for narcissistic monologue, you all have been very helpful.


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## EmotionlessThug (Oct 4, 2011)

dadadoom said:


> OK seeing your verbal intelligence hypertrophy coupled with an underdeveloped "common sense" and "low ability to function in mundane settings" I am going to diagnose you with some form of Asperger´s Syndrome. I suffer from it myself and can relate absolutely to your experiences, also to your fondness of being articulate.
> 
> Generally speaking, it appears that ADD is closely related to the lesser forms of autism, so that accounts as well for many of the "incredible mistakes" we continue to make that keep neurotypicals astonished, amused or infuriated.
> 
> ...


I don't think that's the problem.

Where the hell you get your knowledge from rapper machine gun. Everything is confidential, we don't have that knowledge to come up with a hypothesis about her problem. It would be very hard to express it in words, think of it as a missing psychological puzzle that will never be solved, because it's always going to be poorly analyzed.


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## danallama (Jun 21, 2015)

I think I can understand your situation...

I feel stupid sometimes too, even though people keep telling me I'm smart and I generally got okay grades. When I first started my job in delivery, I kept making all these mistakes that I didn't intend to. I missed deliveries, got complaints and my boss got very angry, giving me my last warning. 

But since then, something has changed. Maybe the reality hit me how quickly I could lose this job, so I was more vigilant. Or maybe it just took a few months to get into the swing of things.

You need to try and not let it get you down, despite looks or whispers. I know it's hard to think of anything other than how disappointed people are in you, but that won't change unless you show them you won't give up.

If things don't get any better, maybe this just isn't the job for you. That can be hard to accept, but every one has different skills and some people need longer time to adjust to a new work environment. Cut yourself some slack and do your best  Keep your head up! Fake the confidence until you make it!


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