# Ex unfriended me years later



## TangentialPoint (Aug 12, 2017)

My ex from nearly a decade ago has deleted me from all social media, even professional stuff. I dunno why but this has hit me pretty badly, even though we haven't spoken for many years and I'm in a stable relationship with someone else now. I think cutting me from the professional network felt the worst somehow and I don't really understand why after so many years. I feel kind of crushed now and am not sure how to get over suddenly feeling like I'm the worst and most unlikeable person ever. It seems just too weird to discuss with my boyfriend and I don't have friends that would be close enough to talk about it. 

What do you do to get over this kind of stuff?


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## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I re-frame the way I think about it because in this case you may never know. So why dwell on worst case scenarios.


He could of still had feelings for you and the only way he knew how to move on was to cut ties.


Maybe he got a girlfriend and she found out you were his ex and she was jealous and made him delete it.


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## TangentialPoint (Aug 12, 2017)

You're right of course, it's just that to me any other than worst-case scenarios seem really unlikely. I don't think he has feelings for me (it's been so long and he seemed so over me from the beginning) and he also hasn't deleted his other exes that I know of. I suspect it may have something to do with the fact that I recently went back to uni to study a similar topic that he graduated in, so we're now kind of in the same sector. It feels like he's telling me I'm not good enough to go into his field of work and he doesn't want me to be in his professional network.

I just really need to find some way to get over the feeling, but distractions are hard to come by these days.


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## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

I find it quite surprising that someone would have such a reaction to something like that, especially since you've cut face-to-face contact for nearly 10 years. 

For me, I'd be more distraught at the end of the face-to-face and much less bothered.over profiles on a screen, especially if you weren't communicating to them through the media anyway. 

Be honest! You weren't still checking up on his media profiles all that time, were you? And now you're blocked? 

Yeah . I don't know why either it's unexpectedly hit you a little hard. It's strange. Maybe HE had to delete them because he's been checking up on you all that time and he's had to delete it to move on himself?


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## TangentialPoint (Aug 12, 2017)

KILOBRAVO said:


> I find it quite surprising that someone would have such a reaction to something like that, especially since you've cut face-to-face contact for nearly 10 years.
> 
> For me, I'd be more distraught at the end of the face-to-face and much less bothered.over profiles on a screen, especially if you weren't communicating to them through the media anyway.
> 
> ...


You may find it surprising but that just tells us that we're different and we probably view past relationships differently. I doubt he's been checking up on me because he seemed to have everything together so much better early after the breakup and even found a new girlfriend soon, while I took a long time to recover.

I was pretty distraught at the end of talking regularly (most of which was online after we moved to different cities) but I managed to get over it and only checked his profile once some months ago on a platform that shows who viewed your profile because my studies brought him to mind and I was wondering how he is doing. I suspect that this may have contributed to him deleting me since he also viewed my profile some weeks after that. So recently I accidentally discovered I've been unfriended on one platform, which led me to check the other ones. I guess I was still holding some hope of one day being friends because I genuinely think he's a really cool person and there are not so many of those in this world, but now I need to let go of that and yeah, for some reason it still feels painful.


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## ShadowOne (Jun 27, 2016)

i've only had my ex on one social media thing, and I havent logged in ever again because i dont want to see that they unfriended me on it haha

I'm also in another relationship, actually even more serious than that one (that was my first very serious relationship). I LIVE with my current girlfriend and I still think about that first, last one. It's partly knowing they were really important to me, and getting unfriended like that is just like theyre forgetting that time together and your existence doesnt seem to matter to them. and it hurts. 

It's okay to feel like that. It gets better over time. This stuff (my situation) is actually a bit more funny to me than sad. I used to be only sad about it


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## TangentialPoint (Aug 12, 2017)

ShadowOne said:


> I'm also in another relationship, actually even more serious than that one (that was my first very serious relationship). I LIVE with my current girlfriend and I still think about that first, last one.


This is pretty much how it is for me too. My current relationship is very stable and for the first time in my life as I recall I feel pretty secure and happy. With the previous guy there were quite a few issues (a lot from my side I guess but he also brought a few of his own) and the breakup was fairly prolonged and painful, but it has been comforting to me to think that maybe some day we might still talk, and that at least the time we had together would be worth something. And if anything, I thought that discovering that I'm going into the same area of work as him might've been interesting or just left him indifferent, not a reason to cut the last ties with me.



ShadowOne said:


> It's okay to feel like that.


Thanks. I think I really needed someone to tell me that.


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

TangentialPoint said:


> My ex from nearly a decade ago has deleted me from all social media, even professional stuff. I dunno why but this has hit me pretty badly, even though we haven't spoken for many years and I'm in a stable relationship with someone else now. I think cutting me from the professional network felt the worst somehow and I don't really understand why after so many years. I feel kind of crushed now and am not sure how to get over suddenly feeling like I'm the worst and most unlikeable person ever. It seems just too weird to discuss with my boyfriend and I don't have friends that would be close enough to talk about it.
> 
> What do you do to get over this kind of stuff?


You haven't spoken in years. Does it bother you that they are no longer interested in seeing what's going on in your life? This is exactly something you should be discussing with your boyfriend. They should probably know that your ex holds this much sway over you still.


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## Lonelygirl1986 (Sep 4, 2012)

Why does it bother you so much? I'm used to being easily discarded but I have a few people who are on my side so I'm better these days.


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## Zeinner (Aug 28, 2021)

Sounds like he's moved on and doing some clean up on people that are no longer part of his life and haven't been for many years. 

I wouldn't even consider that any sort of slight, more like a sign that you're holding on to weird, out of time attachments.


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