# is this even helping me



## april14 (Feb 29, 2012)

Im sorry I just don't how talking to a therapist (once every 2 weeks for me) is suppose to help me? How is she suppose to help me like myself, or help me talk to people without freaking out. Well I've only been to like 2 sessions and I know I should give it some more time, but wants it going to do for me. I really just want to know if therapy's helped you and how or if it really works.my therapist is kind of young she's still finishing up school, she said I need to work on myself of steam but how is talking about my past suppose to help with myself of steam. Im not trying to be mean or snobby I guess I just want to know if ill ever get better.


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## Dragonshy (Mar 23, 2012)

In my experience, every therapist is different. I do recommend sticking with it as long as you can. They can teach you things that help you figure out social anxiety. 
Also, If you don't feel comfortable with a particular therapist, there's always the option to see a different one. 
Ultimately, therapists give you options you didn't know you had - or at least, that's how I saw it.


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## MrWibblyWobbly (Mar 2, 2012)

So... I know exactly how you feel. Actually, I and another poster recently posted this same question (see What Is My Therapist Actually Doing? and Luna12's post Wondering if counseling is really helping). Honestly, I still have doubts about this sort of "talk therapy" that all three of our therapists seem to be practicing. It's nice to have someone to whom you can talk about things you might not admit to any other person, but -- despite some very thoughtful and kind responses from various people on this topics and despite the kindness and compassion embodied by my therapist -- I still am a little confused. As a scientifically-minded person, I am wondering what, exactly, is the "mechanism of action" here: what about talking to someone for an hour a week about our problems is meant to help us?

The most optimistic conclusion I can think of is that, ultimately, we have to help ourselves. But, even if that's the case, I find I need actual _tools_ -- ways of reframing how I think about my life, ways of handling those painful emotions and thoughts, maybe even actual assertiveness training or social-skills training. Just sitting there and receiving kindness/understanding, but no real _information_ or _education_ from my therapist doesn't seem like a very effective solution. I've read enough about other styles of therapy (CBT, REBT, ACT, Schema Therapy, etc.) to know this isn't all that therapy can be. Those other styles are much more active, and the therapist is much more active about giving feedback. In this thread a member talks about actually going running with his therapist. That seems like the sort of approach that's needed for many people (myself included) with anxiety and depression: to get out of our minds and into life because_ that_ is where we're stuck.

I really like my therapist, and don't have much of a choice because this is free counseling from my university... but I cannot shake off the feeling that he's pretty much useless to me. The annoying thing is, I know that he _knows_ about those other styles of therapy. I've talked with him about it. But he doesn't seem interested in actually practicing any sort of thought-refutation, or exposure training, or any of that sort of thing. In the end, it just makes me feel alone, left to my own devices to drown in emotional overwhelm without someone to pull me back to into the web of life.


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## alissaxvanity (Dec 26, 2011)

It has made all the difference in the world to me.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

it won't really, maybe if your therapist took you to a public place and watched you interact with people from a distance, this can help, or group therapy can help also


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## trisha1 (May 9, 2012)

After 4.5 years Im asking the same question, with the added extra of what am I doing still going?. My therapist has a good reputation, and thinks highly of herself. I have struggled from the beggining with making that connection, and suspect what has happened in my case is that I have become dependent and fearful of leaving therapy. I cant honestly say that I get much from it over all. there have been moments, when Ive come away feeling ok she got that, or she does understand but they are fleeting and dont last very long. The main recommendation I would make is make sure that your therapist can offer you consistent appointments, mine is away a lot running groups so not always here and takes lots a lots of holiday for up to 6/7 weeks which is difficult to manage. 
When I think about what she actually does, well it can be summed up with repeating back to you what you have said, she agrees with most things I say, she does not push me in any way. I will be finishing up in July but dont intend to tell her before hand because I fear she will make me panic, as when I have attempted to leave before I always end up not and can only identify her response to my leaving or my dependency. 
My advise would be if you dont make that connection in the initial sessions, get out dont wait for it to happen, because its unlikly it will.
HOpe that helps


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## Inshallah (May 11, 2011)

Never seen the point of 1 on 1 talk therapy, the people in this thread who are helped by it also said they basically did it themselves. If you do the things your therapist will ask of you, without the therapist, the result will be exactly the same.

We all know what we need to do, we just need to start doing it.

Therapy with other patients in group would be much more effective.


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## kpx0 (Mar 12, 2012)

If you've only had 2 sessions the therapist is still just trying find out what the core of your problems is. It won't be until you start actual therapy that it'll help in any way. By that I mean something like CBT or similar. First your therapist is basically just "diagnosing" you.


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## WanderingSoul (Apr 22, 2012)

"Myself of steam"


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