# Did my Therapist Imply I was attractive? Was it inappropriate



## Sienna1995 (Jan 27, 2015)

I am seeing a therapist for Obsessive Behaviour such as dieting. I am not extremely bad..yet. 

Anyway, so I have been seeing him for 2 weeks, today was my second time. 

He is really cool, I like him and all even think he is sexually attractive even though he is old (i'm 18 he is probably 40s-50's). 
I kind of have low self esteem, but I have those days where I feel beautiful. Other people think I am beautiful so I mustn't be that appaling. 

Anyway when we were talking I was talking about how I feel like a fat pig. An incident happened where a Modelling Scout approached me and more or less said that I would make a good model if I lost weight, even though I am 5'11/65kgs. So that ticked me off and made me want to lose weight even more. 

While we were talking he said (exact words) 
''If I went out on the street and asked strangers if they thought you were ''Attractive and slim'' everyone one would think so''. I then told him no they wouldn't and he said ''yes that's what you think'' in a real bossy way. 

I am just wondering if He was implying that he may think I am attractive, I don't think he would say that just t boost my self esteem because I'm not that low that I need compliments and he knows it. 

Thoughts? and also was tat inappropriate from a patient-client P.O.V?


----------



## Triumph (Jan 16, 2015)

I think he volunteered that so you would stop thinking negatively about yourself. He's simply implying that you are considered attractive physically in general terms. Do you mean to ask, is he hitting on you? I wouldn't think so, no.


----------



## ikrisskross (May 19, 2014)

Whether or not he was innapropriate is rather subjective, however I don't think he was trying to hit on you or anything. I think he may have just been trying to give you another perspective.

Everyone, no matter who you are, is going to be their own worst critic. And while _you_ may think you're this "fat pig" odds are, there are other people who definitely won't see you in that same way.


----------



## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

I don't get why you would think he said anything inappropriate. Maybe you're attracted to him and you want to see it that way. 

He was just trying to boost your self-esteem by pointing out that you are attractive. And instead of saying, "you're a beautiful girl, why do you think otherwise?" he purposely said it in a way such that it doesn't sound like his opinion. He said other people would think you're attractive. That's him being very professional and trying to avoid being inappropriate.

You're there because you're dieting obsessively. He's trying to get you to see that you look fine the way you are. Models are abnormally skinny. The modeling agent was just talking from the perspective of the modeling industry. At 5'11 140lbs you're not even close to fat.


----------



## chompers (Feb 3, 2015)

Hey Sienna,

Speaking from a females point of view, I also don't think he was hitting on you or that this was inappropriate (unless there is some serious context you are leaving out of your description).

"Slim and attractive" is basically the polar opposite of being a fat pig. I think he was trying to point out that from a neutral perspective - for example a person on the street - you appear slim and attractive. 

Maybe this idea is so foreign to the way you see yourself that it makes you suspicious that he has some kind of ulterior motive - ie hitting on you - when he says stuff like that. 

Maybe if it makes you confused and uncomfortable to hear these kinds of things from this therapist - an older man who you find attractive - you should consider switching to a female therapist? Especially since you just started seeing this guy...


----------



## Fold Space (Feb 2, 2015)

Wouldn't be the first time for an affair between the patient and the rapist.

I mean therapist.


----------



## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

Fold Space said:


> Wouldn't be the first time for an affair between the patient and the rapist.
> 
> I mean therapist.


Hahahaha, VERY nice.


----------



## Joe (May 18, 2010)

he was just being honest i guess, it's pretty bold of him to do but only because how iffy the profession of a therapist is in terms of rules


----------



## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

I think he wanted to tell you that you shouldn't feel unattractive. So yes, in a way he was telling you that you are attractive. However, this doesn't mean he was hitting on you or wants something, I think he just wanted to point out you were attractive because you have a problem with your self esteem. So, I don't think it was inappropriate.


----------



## rubyruby (Jun 17, 2009)

I don't think he meant anything by it.

You should switch to a female therapist. They can relate to you better and you may feel more comfortable.


----------



## TooBad12 (Jan 21, 2015)

don't read so much into it.


----------



## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

If lecherous model scouts are sniffing around then you can pretty safely say other people do find you attractive.

Regardless, try not to base so much of your sense of self worth on looks. Cultivate kindness and warmth to others and people will like you.


----------



## GloomyTracy (Jan 17, 2015)

It is hard to tell what could be considered inappropriate in the setting of a therapist's office as the conversation in the office might need to go all over the map to cover any issue that might arise. From what you described, it did not seem inappropriate.

My last therapist (psychiatrist) was the same size as me and the conversations would often veer onto the subject of appearance and fashion and where she did her clothes shopping and asking me if I ever frequent those stores and sometimes she would ask me mildly inappropriate questions which had nothing to do with social anxiety, rarely would she ask me a question about SA and the more I was around her I quickly realized she was talking about all that kind of stuff to fill up the appointment time as she had no clue what social anxiety is, she only knew how to write a prescription which took 1 minute, the other 74 minutes needed filler talk.


----------

