# Do you have pure O? (obsessional OCD)



## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

"A person with Pure O experiences periods of intense rumination that are triggered by intrusive or unwanted thoughts, sometimes called "spikes." Spike traits vary widely by individual, dictated by personal makeup and circumstance"

To neutralize the perceived danger presented by the spike, the Pure O is compelled into rumination, an often intricate mental routine driven by a pressing need to "solve" the fear or uncertainty.

Ruminations vary from person to person. One type of rumination may involve continually reconjuring an unpleasant scenario. Another example might be an effort to precisely recall the sequence and order of thoughts that led to the spike.

"These ruminations are accompanied by anxiety ranging from mild to severe, and can endure for extensive stretches, often hours at a time. Sufferers have described episodes that persist over a series of days. In most every instance, the rumination is all-consuming, essentially taking full occupation of the mind.

During rumination, sufferers often find themselves unable to turn their focus to anything else, including "legitimate" sources of stress or danger. For instance: Genuinely bad news -- say, word of a friend's hospitalization -- may not trump or even penetrate the anxiety felt by an OCD sufferer who is ruminating on even a seemingly innocuous matter."


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## Hexle (Jan 29, 2012)

I have this, but it seems to come in phases. Especially frequent when I'm depressed or my PTSD has been triggered or something similar. Odd thing is that once the "phase" is over, the very things I obsessed about will not bother me anymore at all.. until the next phase, if it happens to be focused on the same topic again.


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

hmm yeah that sounds familiar actually. What happens is when one thing is resolved, another thing pops up.


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## ACCV93 (Sep 6, 2012)

I used to experience this very intensely. But thankfully, I've got over that. You just have to learn how to stop analyzing everything. It's a confidence thing too


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

This is merely one type of the various types of OCD I experience.

I've discovered that this forum triggers lots of "Pure O" ruminations for me! :eek Though anything, really, that worries me or hangs over my head can trigger this...like the PayPal woes I keep writing about in the "What's bothering you right now?" thread. Once something worries me and gets in my head, *it's next to impossible to get it out until it's resolved*. One reason why whenever my Internet acts up it agonizes me so much and I can't even focus on doing something else until it starts working again.

Definitely sucks. :/


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## JohnWalnut (May 2, 2012)

Maybe. Your description is a little vague. How is it different from regular OCD?


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## whattothink (Jun 2, 2005)

I have this.


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## Scottie Pippen (Dec 21, 2012)

It depends from one person to the next person. You have to try sometime and it if works then keep doing it. If not, then try something else. Here are some suggestions:

1)Raise seratonin: 5htp, St. Johns Wort, Inositol, Prozac, Busbar, or an SSRI
2)Decrease dopamine: Busbar helps. Not sure what herbs there are. 
3)Decrease norepinephrine: GABA, Valerian, Xanax, Klophin
4)Excercise 30min a day
5)Lower glutamate levels through NAC (N-acetylcysteine). This is a newer theory. 
6)Eat healthy. No caffine, alcohol, or process foods. B-Vitamins always help. 
7)Magnesium: Possibly plays a huge role in Pure O.
8)Pray, meditate on the Bible, or quote encouraging quotes when a "spike" is about to happen. 
9)Get a supportive friend. It will take a while, but you will find one when you look hard enough and find someone special. 

Hope this helps. Let me know if you have any questions or feedback.


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

JohnWalnut said:


> Maybe. Your description is a little vague. How is it different from regular OCD?


Regular OCD has outside rituals. Like excessive hand washing. Pure O has mental rituals.

ie

I used to after an exam, go over every question. I remember my answers. I estimate the marks I think I got depending on what questions I got wrong or right. I use a calculator to estamte marks. I keep going over and over the test in my head trying to figure out what mark I would have gotten and what the worst outcome could be. This would last a few hours.

or in social situations I would go over everything that I had said to try to figure out if its possible I offended someone and how offended they would be. This would last hours, and go over several days.

Its triggered by random thoughts. ie Test pops into my head the day after and I would start doing the same mental ritual.


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## JohnWalnut (May 2, 2012)

Interesting examples. I don't have physical rituals, but I do have the mental ones like the second one you mentioned. For instance even if I have a 1 minute conversation, I go evaluate everything I said afterwards and continue doing this for some time, up to a few hours. My rationale is that rethinking everything can help me become a better conversationalist and say less stupid/awkward/embarrassing/ignorant things. I'm not sure if it does more good than harm to me though, since it takes away quite a deal of my concentration. I did the same thing during my driving lessons and one mistake ends up causing many others due to you being so distracted. 
I think a more extreme example is when at the end of the end of the day I have an hour or two of free time left and I can't make up my mind on what to do. I'm afraid of doing something like playing a video game and regretting it later since it's all a pointless time killer, but then when I spend too much time thinking about it without doing anything I waste my free time anyway. Why do I stress out so much on stupid choices like these?
Strangely enough I don't feel like this when making exams. For me, exams are finished business once you turn them in, since you can't change anything about them anymore at that point. I think that's the healthy way to think about them, but it's too bad I have trouble bringing this philosophy to other areas of my life.


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## MrQuiet76 (Aug 26, 2011)

Wow, I've heard of this and it sounds like it describes me really well. One of my biggest problems and causes of my anxiety is simply the fact that I just can't get little things off of my mind. Once I get an anxiety provoking thought, i just keep obsessing over it and can't think of anything else. I can't even focus on other more important things. Maybe this is the root of my problem.


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

I have researched a bit and the cure is very different to the cure for generalized anxiety. Pure O is often mistaken for GAD. And people try to do CBT and try to reassure themselves that some thing will not happen. However, this is a mistake for pure O. Reassuring yourself is a trap. It leads you think more about the situation. It is how your OCD tricks you and manipulates you into worrying more.

Instead, the solution is to accept uncertainty. For instance. You believe that you will die if you step on a crack. You must accept that its possible you might die from stepping on the crack. Dont fight it, accept it. Then you must say, although I might die, I need to get over my OCD. I am willing to take this risk.

I thought CBT was working because my solution was actually accepting uncertainty. "I cannot turn back time, so it is illogical for me to think about my test" was actually I have to accept uncertainty because there is nothing I can do to change the results. 

so far accepting uncertainty is working, but time will tell. I am practicing by purposely provoking OCD thoughts and saying " I dont care if that happens" and ignoring urges to itch when I get itchy.


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

JohnWalnut said:


> Interesting examples. I don't have physical rituals, but I do have the mental ones like the second one you mentioned. For instance even if I have a 1 minute conversation, I go evaluate everything I said afterwards and continue doing this for some time, up to a few hours. My rationale is that rethinking everything can help me become a better conversationalist and say less stupid/awkward/embarrassing/ignorant things. I'm not sure if it does more good than harm to me though, since it takes away quite a deal of my concentration. I did the same thing during my driving lessons and one mistake ends up causing many others due to you being so distracted.
> I think a more extreme example is when at the end of the end of the day I have an hour or two of free time left and I can't make up my mind on what to do. I'm afraid of doing something like playing a video game and regretting it later since it's all a pointless time killer, but then when I spend too much time thinking about it without doing anything I waste my free time anyway. Why do I stress out so much on stupid choices like these?
> Strangely enough I don't feel like this when making exams. For me, exams are finished business once you turn them in, since you can't change anything about them anymore at that point. I think that's the healthy way to think about them, but it's too bad I have trouble bringing this philosophy to other areas of my life.


Yes very familiar. The OCD tricks you by rationalizing the behaviour.

You can maybe use the same philosophy with relationships. You cant take bad what you have said, so you must accept it. Its more complicated because you can do something to fix it. And you are not sure whether you should apologize. A solution can be to just wait and see if this person is angry when you see them next and then apologize, rather than spend time figuring out if you made them angry.

If you were awkward. Just accept I was probably awkward. And then just move on. Theres not much you can do. I think OCD makes SA anxiety much worse than it really is.


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

Pure O compulsions:

http://www.steveseay.com/pure-o-ocd-pure-obsessional-ocd/

So far I have figured out how to solve minor checking problems for me ie a door is locked by checking once and then afterwards. Then when I get the thought instead of trying to fix the problem I will say no I have already checked. If the door is unlocked now, there is nothing I can do about it. Its not my fault if it is unlocked because I have preformed by duty of checking the door is locked once.


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## JohnWalnut (May 2, 2012)

I'm going to try your strategy of accepting uncertainty and seeing how it turns out. I might get into trouble for being too rash but eh, I've hit rock bottom at this point and over-analyzing hasn't helped me enough, so it's worth a try.
I actually didn't want to make this post since I figured it wouldn't add much to this topic but I'm making it anyway lol, if only to start my "therapy".


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

JohnWalnut said:


> I'm going to try your strategy of accepting uncertainty and seeing how it turns out. I might get into trouble for being too rash but eh, I've hit rock bottom at this point and over-analyzing hasn't helped me enough, so it's worth a try.
> I actually didn't want to make this post since I figured it wouldn't add much to this topic but I'm making it anyway lol, if only to start my "therapy".


Good luck . I would probably start small since, well if you do something too large, then you might freak out. I have seen many people online on OCD forums etc saying that this is the answer and people have recovered by embracing uncertainty and stopping mental compulsions. I hope that we can both find a way to make this work. I dont think it will be very easy at all and in fact very difficult, but hopefully successful.

I have found a possible method here

http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php?topic=37732.0

i have also tried saying to myself "yes this bad thing will happen" "yes this will happen" it helps a bit but idk.


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## plusminusinfinity (Apr 28, 2011)

yes


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## bottleofblues (Aug 6, 2008)

Yeah i can relate to this i've suffered from a mental form of OCD for a long time now. I used to have really horrible violent intrusive thoughts but i didn't have an OCD type way of dealing with them, i just had to endure them, thank god they've gone now.
I also over analyze a conversation just after i've had it but i've learnt this is just a bad habit i need to break. Just recently i've got into the bad habit of checking and over really basic maths stuff, i know i understand it but my mind compels me to check it one more time. Other times my mind just nags at me about something and i find it so hard to let go it can take hours sometimes. Its like a little child tugging at his mothers sleeve, very hard to ignore.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Invisiblehandicap said:


> So far I have figured out how to solve minor checking problems for me ie a door is locked by checking once and then afterwards. Then when I get the thought instead of trying to fix the problem I will say no I have already checked. If the door is unlocked now, there is nothing I can do about it. Its not my fault if it is unlocked because I have preformed by duty of checking the door is locked once.


I actually follow a somewhat similar approach with minor checking behaviors, and I believe it's the reason why they aren't worse than they are. I'll lock the door, check it, then let it go. It might niggle at me later on, but I'll clearly remind myself of when I locked it, and attempt to let it go. It isn't foolproof, since my memory is so lousy, so often I'll have to make a point of taking close notice of when I'm checking something, just so I'll remember it later on. (I do something similar when I'm setting down an object where I might forget I've placed it--I'll say aloud, "I am placing the camera on the laundry hamper!"--hoping that if I say it aloud, and consciously focus on where I'm putting something rather than randomly setting it down, I'll remember it better later on. But I digress. ops )

I have yet to get such a technique to work for other obsessional thoughts or to counter repeating activities (at the moment those are kind of bothersome for me), but then again I haven't applied myself that hard just yet, either.


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

Some of my compulsions:

1. going over memories , trying to remember if I did/ didnt do something to reassure myself. Ie I am worried the door is unlocked. I will repetitively try to go back and remember what happened.

2. If I see something bad happen to someone on news etc, I will daydream about how it could have been stopped or how this type of thing could be prevented in the future. 

3. I cannot concentrate when I believe something bad will happen. I will keep thinking about this thing or go into some obsession ie games in order to avoid the thoughts. 

4. Repetitive asking people for reassurance.

5. Repetitive need to apologize for mistakes. I beleive if the appology is not recieved well or done properly then something bad will happen. 

6. Obsessions on things, I will check the internet for reassurance on any issue. 

7. I use daydreams in order to practice confrontations or dealing with what I believe will happen. So basically I start imagining the scenario and what I will say or do. Can go on for hours. 

8. use daydreaming to avoid negative thoughts ie dreams about tv show.

9. I question whether or not I should do something ie go for a walk. I think about the likely hood or an bad thing happening if I go for a walk. Or I think is this a waste of time?

10. Looking for solutions to problems causing anxiety. These solutions often involve avoidance of the problem.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Invisiblehandicap said:


> Some of my compulsions:
> 
> *1. going over memories , trying to remember if I did/ didnt do something to reassure myself. Ie I am worried the door is unlocked. I will repetitively try to go back and remember what happened.*
> 
> ...


Ugh, those in bold, I do those same things. Sometimes when I read about a situation that upsets me, I'll go over it in my head over and over and over again, not necessarily seeking solutions, but just "living through" the victim's pain...it's so weird. When I first read about the Kitty Genovese case, and sometimes about 9/11, I just kept doing this over and over and it was insane.

Eventually, I evolved some fictional ideas based on such scenarios and let them out in writing, which seemed to help, as those obsessions faded...granted, more took their place, but at least it helped somewhat, to fictionalize the situation and "resolve" it in writing.

Bizarre, though, how hung up I can get on something awful that happened to someone I don't even know. :|


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

tehuti88 said:


> Ugh, those in bold, I do those same things. Sometimes when I read about a situation that upsets me, I'll go over it in my head over and over and over again, not necessarily seeking solutions, but just "living through" the victim's pain...it's so weird. When I first read about the Kitty Genovese case, and sometimes about 9/11, I just kept doing this over and over and it was insane.
> 
> Eventually, I evolved some fictional ideas based on such scenarios and let them out in writing, which seemed to help, as those obsessions faded...granted, more took their place, but at least it helped somewhat, to fictionalize the situation and "resolve" it in writing.
> 
> Bizarre, though, how hung up I can get on something awful that happened to someone I don't even know. :|


Yes this is why I tend to avoid imagining what it would have been like and looking at it because it doesn't do anyone any good. You can't undo the past although ocd sure tries.


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## glasscaseofemotion (Dec 15, 2012)

Yeah it first started with me when I was 12 having vivid images in my head about killing my parents, it was the most horrific thing ever then those thoughts went and were replaced by other thoughts and the cycle just keep going but never went away. I had it 80% under control until about 5 months ago when something triggered a response in my head and stuck there  this thought made me realize I def have Social Anxiety and I still think about it everyday I hate it.


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## BladeRunnerB26354 (Apr 12, 2012)

Invisiblehandicap said:


> "A person with Pure O experiences periods of intense rumination that are triggered by intrusive or unwanted thoughts, sometimes called "spikes." Spike traits vary widely by individual, dictated by personal makeup and circumstance"
> 
> To neutralize the perceived danger presented by the spike, the Pure O is compelled into rumination, an often intricate mental routine driven by a pressing need to "solve" the fear or uncertainty.
> 
> ...


This describes my obsessional thinking to a T.

In its worse case, it's quite infrequent, perhaps once every couple of months it flairs up, and usually in response to some event.

It usually involves things like cleanliness - I might have gone to a friend's house who has a dog which has been a bit stinky and been on the couch, and I ruminate very excessively on my clothes or car (from my "contaminated" clothes being in my car) being unclean.

At its worst it gets to ridiculous levels - a pint of milk burst in my car and went sour in the boot, and I considered selling my car as thorough cleaning wasn't enough to satisfy me the smell was gone. I had to just get rid of my car.

On a less severe level if it's flaring up a little, it makes me check things 3 or 4 times. So in my past jobs I'd triple check paper work when it was not necessary and still worry it was wrong. That got in the way of my work - I took ages doing things - and caused me a lot of stress.

^ As time proves I don't make mistakes on things I relax.

The flair ups, or spikes are very disruptive and troubling to me though. It's something I'll be getting CBT on in the New Year.

Thank you re the neurotransmitter and lifestyle advice - excessive caffeine definitely triggers minor obsession for me.

*Wellbutrin:

*As this increases dopamine and noradrenaline - have any of you used it and found it made Pure O worse? I'm looking to try Wellbutrin soon, and the neuro information you gave makes me question using it.


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## BKrakow (Jul 8, 2010)

this sounds a lot like me. the more I read about OCD the more I realize it's probably behind a lot of my problems. I used to think it was just general anxiety, now I'm leaning towards OCD.


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

BladeRunnerB26354 said:


> This describes my obsessional thinking to a T.
> 
> In its worse case, it's quite infrequent, perhaps once every couple of months it flairs up, and usually in response to some event.
> 
> ...


hmm caffeine actually helps me ironically. I think perhaps because its an anti depressant to an extent. I think cutting back if it does make intrusive thoughts worse is a good idea.

I haven't tried any drugs, but I can look it up on the web to see if any ocd sufferers have taken it.

Im just trying to gather information to see if anything works. Fortunately OCD is not as neglected as SA or GAD in terms of solutions.

anti anxiety meds could help you I think because I feel like the thoughts are caused by the anxiety. This is what I have noticed.

from online:

apparently Wellbutrin is not for treating OCD.

http://www.healthboards.com/boards/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/230042-wellbutrin-ocd-2.html

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Obsess...-your-experiences-with-Wellbutrin/show/673942

people have discussed using it with an ssri

http://www.healthguideinfo.com/ocd-treatment/p95377/

Looking through the web in some cases people have said it has increased anxiety. Some have said it made OCD worse.

I think you could spend time researching it online to gauge how it effective it could potentially be.

And perhaps if you take it, document it fully so you can see early on the effect it has.


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

I almost had a derealisation episode because of multiple intrusive thoughts today. I told myself that it was just ocd, and this helped be avoid a derealisation episode.

I feel like all of my anxious thoughts are OCD and SA is only the anxiety feelings I get. Perhaps this is what is fueling my social anxiety.

to add to the list

- I truly believe that I can read peoples thoughts. I imagine what they are thinking and I fear their actions based on this. 

-I am obsessed with giving people the right facial expressions and how if I smile or frown at the wrong time they will be hurt of offended.


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## bazinga (Jun 9, 2010)

I am constantly in fear and worry. Worry about death, worry about my teeth, money, sickness, things going wrong in general. I also have the most morbid, violent and sometimes sexual intrusive thoughts that really bother me sometimes. I also worry a lot that I am going to start hallucinating any day now.

I don't have any rituals, but the violent thougts run wild and can keep me from sleeping. I can feel my heart sink.


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

bazinga said:


> I am constantly in fear and worry. Worry about death, worry about my teeth, money, sickness, things going wrong in general. I also have the most morbid, violent and sometimes sexual intrusive thoughts that really bother me sometimes. I also worry a lot that I am going to start hallucinating any day now.
> 
> I don't have any rituals, but the violent thougts run wild and can keep me from sleeping. I can feel my heart sink.


that sounds horrible. I hope you will find someway to fix it.


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## Xenos (Jun 24, 2012)

I have terrible problems with worry and anxiety, but I'm not sure they count as "pure O" OCD. I worry about concrete things in my life; I blow them way out of proportion, and worry about them far beyond the point of usefulness, but they're still based, at least in part, on concrete things that actually exist. My understanding is that pure O involves obsessive worries that are not even remotely realistic and which don't have any particular rituals associated with them.

I do have moderate to severe 'traditional' OCD - repeatedly checking door locks, faucets, electrical appliances and things like that.


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

Xenos said:


> I have terrible problems with worry and anxiety, but I'm not sure they count as "pure O" OCD. I worry about concrete things in my life; I blow them way out of proportion, and worry about them far beyond the point of usefulness, but they're still based, at least in part, on concrete things that actually exist. My understanding is that pure O involves obsessive worries that are not even remotely realistic and which don't have any particular rituals associated with them.
> 
> I do have moderate to severe 'traditional' OCD - repeatedly checking door locks, faucets, electrical appliances and things like that.


No pure O is still realistic im my case, which means no resolution is actually possible as there is still a chance of the thing occurring. It is blown out of proportion, but all of my worries are very possible. I have obsessions with things not being locked. The difference in my case with this one obsession is that I battle internally whether or not I should check ('solution' to problem). Its like the devil and the angel on the shoulder fighting. I will check and see oh its fine. Then when ever "door" comes into mind, I want to check again. And I think about if I should check or not. Checking the door is not the first solution that comes to mind. First I will try to remember if its locked or not, and I will think about whether I should lock it or not in the case where someone else is home, or I am not leaving.

I think with normal ocd, and I will need to be corrected if wrong, its more like "door" --> goes down to check if door is locked. Gets anxiety if does not check. Patterns may be involved, like lock and unlock 3 times. Has thoughts of someone coming in and stealing stuff which compels this person to check.

With pure O the rituals are mental, so you dont see them.


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

I seem to have imaginary conversations with people every 5-10 minutes. I went into the little township thing today and I started to have OCD problems. I started seeing bad social interactions in my head, and then fighting with the person that was insulting me, trying to gain the upper hand. And it did this thing where it replayed again and again and I tried to perfect a response. A few minutes later I realized it was OCD and I managed to stop it.


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## anxiousidiot (Dec 29, 2012)

Omg i had no idea they had a name for it, this me, exactly me. I hate it so much its ruining my life


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## solitarysiren (Jun 21, 2012)

Lately I can't stop thinking about horrible things happening to my pets, losing my job, and worrying that I might have endometriosis which will result in infertility and other health problems. There are some other things that I am worrying about as well. It has been a vicious cycle as of late. Stress brought it on. I just had a review at work (my first one), and although the review went well, I was worried about it. I was also worried about the holidays, worried about the company I work for not doing well, etc. I'm worrying so much as of late. My concentration is terrible.

In my mind, it seems like if I think about something, I can figure out problems and prevent them from happening, but in the end, I just seem to drive myself crazy.


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## The Sleeping Dragon (Sep 29, 2011)

It seems I have this because I do have a lot of obsessive thoughts, worry and mental rituals. Edit: but after some reading it is not likely I have it. I found a interesting article on the matter.

http://beyondocd.org/expert-perspectives/articles/pure-o-fact-or-fiction


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## dahveed (Mar 4, 2013)

I consider myself a professional ruminator, I've done this since I was 10 or 12 years old! Mostly with health issues, but has expanded into social issues as well. Panic attacks at age 28, I eventually dealt with that with a small scrip of xanax and lots of meditation.

It all came back 10 years later, put on lexapro and short-term xanax. Felt great! So, about 4 months ago, I came of the lexapro, started new diet and exercise program... and the anxiety/depression came back! 

Back on the lexapro and short-term xanax, also trying inositol for OCD, will continue with exercise and meditation. I will have to probably continue this regimen for the rest of my life, but if I'm happy then so be it!

I wish all of you relief from your anxiety, depression, and hyperactive minds!


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## fire mage64 (Jun 20, 2011)

Invisiblehandicap said:


> Instead, the solution is to *accept uncertainty*. For instance. You believe that you will die if you step on a crack. You must accept that its possible you might die from stepping on the crack. *Dont fight it, accept it*. Then you must say, although I might die, I need to get over my OCD. *I am willing to take this risk*.


I like that way of thinking and think it can be helpful.


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## infinityplusone (Jun 5, 2011)

My psychiatrist diagnosed me with Obsessional Anxiety back when I was 18. I get caught in negative feedback loops all the time, pretty much about anything. It's a painful way to waste time.


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## daniel83 (Jul 25, 2010)

I worry extensively about everyday issues, imho it goes into obsessions, but maybe it's GAD, I still don't see a difference between GAD and Pure-O


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## Quatermass (Oct 6, 2013)

One of the "rituals" I like to do when I feel stressed out or anxious, is to replay a scene from a favourite movie in my head several times, complete with dialouge, environment, clothes and everything down to the last detail, or maybe make up a review of a movie and read it out over and over again in my head. Sometimes I hold a long internal monologue about something I'm interested in. I sometimes also pretend that I'm telling someone about my worries and how they make me feel. And then sometimes I just keep ruminating about an issue, even long after I have run into a dead end. None of these "rituals" really help, they are just things that make me feel better for the moment, they soothe me somehow.


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## wrongnumber (May 24, 2009)

I used to get intrusive thoughts but not currently. I'd also ruminate about health risks, but I've found writing lists helps a lot. Once it's listed it's like my mind can unlock itself and move on. I think this is because I also have some weird OCD complex about forgetting or distorting certain kinds of information; mostly information I have to learn / study, but also information regarding certain personal events. So I tend to write things in excessive detail, but once it's been chronicled I can let it go. Thankfully I never developed the checking doors / ovens type rituals. Those things don't scare me. Even if I did leave a door unlocked chances are no one will know and exploit that. The stuff that scares me is stuff that I've already received ambiguous or non ambiguous exposure to and I'm left with the uncertainty aspect (don't want to go into details with this because it's unpleasant). I deal with it mostly through listing, avoiding, justifying, or trivialising / humour, like making morbid jokes to myself about the worst possible outcome. This works about 70 - 80 % of the time.


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