# Were you raised religiously but gradually lost your faith as you got older?



## Innerwolf

I was raised by a catholic family. Father used to drive with a bible on his dashboard and could tie any life situation to a bible verse, mother watches a lot of pastors on television and old films based on bible stories. Used to be a kid that prayed each night out of fear of being damned and took part in most general catholic rituals (baptism, communion, confirmation). Would go to church alone sometimes and prayed just once in a while. Now I rarely ever pray nor feel any drive to go to church. Guess I've been in a phase where I've been questioning my faith, but wouldn't say I've stopped believing all together. 

I feel like my family is questioning whether I believe in God or not. They always tell me to pray pray pray and leave my struggles in God's hands. All the praying we've done hasn't made our circumstances any better. Life is gonna go on..

Anyone else relate?


----------



## rockyraccoon

I was raised in a strict Roman Catholic household. I went to private Catholic schools for a few years until I got fed up with it all. We had to pray every night and we had to go to confession on a regular basis, along with attending church every weekend. But over time, around the age of 14, I had enough of it all and told my mom I am no longer going to attend church and I want to transfer to a public school. So yes I have questioned my faith over the years. I still remember when I had my first communion in grade 2 and I was forced to confess my sins to a priest. Even at that young age I knew there was something wrong with Catholicism. I resented going to confession from that point on because I was forced into confession despite not committing any sins. In the end I told the same sins to the priest every time in confession just to get it over with: I swore, I looked at porn, I got into fights, and I was the class clown.

If you feel the need to break away then do it. Don't let someone force their religious beliefs upon you.


----------



## KelsKels

Kind of.. I was raised by bible thumping Christians and when I was very young, like 6-10 I was extremely religious. I fell off the bandwagon pretty hard when my eyes opened up from my very sheltered existence to the real world. I'm an atheist now, but it was a gradual change from Christian to spiritual, theist, agnostic, and finally atheist. I don't really know what else to say.. besides that I think you should just be true to yourself and your beliefs, whatever they are. Dont let your family or strangers on the internet tell you how you should be living, that's for you alone to decide.


----------



## Rains

My parents aren't that religious because they don't practice. But I did get baptised and sent to Catholic schools. The schools I went to obviously didn't encourage any critical thinking when it came to religion... just reiterated what was in the bible. I didn't take it very seriously though. Between the ages of 12-16 I started to think more deeply about religion, including non-christian ones, and eventually decided that the most coherent explanation was that religion existed mainly to serve a social function. After this, the concept of God started to lose credibility for me too... Consolidating myself as an atheist felt like a relief because my tolerance for cognitive dissonance is pretty low.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

No. My parents tried to get me into religion but I never bought it. I always thought religion was weird and more than a little creepy.

Anyway, I guess I tried to fake it for a little while just because I figured if it really mattered that much to them I could try to make them happy. But it was just too much work to pretend to be into something so strange and so patently false.


----------



## regimes

yep. raised southern holiness. i never really bought into it (as evidenced by my desire to bring my gameboy to church to pass the time and plan my harvest moon farms during..) and as i grew into a teenager i just let go of it. proud atheist for.. 7 years now?


----------



## Mc Borg

rockyraccoon said:


> I still remember when I had my first communion in grade 2 and I was forced to confess my sins to a priest. I resented going to confession from that point on because I was forced into confession despite not committing any sins. In the end I told the same sins to the priest every time in confession just to get it over with: I swore, I looked at porn, I got into fights, and I was the class clown.


I remember crying before going to my first confession; I was terrified due to SA. Really ****ty that we had to go through with that. Luckily my parents weren't as strict early on and I never did make my confirmation. Even when they did get more into going to church (2004-ish), they pretty much accepted that I wasn't going to church (due to SA). I think they figured that God understood why I wasn't going or something. There was a period where my dad believed he could speak in tongues, after going to one of my great aunts who claimed to talk to God and had a "gift" where I did go to church, but even then I never went to confession and didn't partake in the eucharist because of that. I guess I was lucky that they weren't stricter. From what I understand, they currently don't go to church and my dad doesn't really talk much about the "gift." I'm pretty sure they do still have Catholic beliefs though, despite not being devout.

I will say that I actually enjoyed going to youth group (not sure if you guys had that). All we really did was play games like heads up seven and draw while learning the apostle's creed and stuff, haha. Also, one of my cousins who I was close to also went, so that's where we met up and chit-chatted.


----------



## riverbird

Thankfully I was not. My parents are both religious but for some reason, the most that they ever did was make me pray at night sometimes and took me to church a few times. I think that has a lot to do with how I was able to realize I thought religion was a joke at such a young age, it wasn't being shoved down my throat.


----------



## Raies

Yup..

My dad is very religious (and open about it..)...
As is my dad's family,

My mom is religious as well but not so big on it as my dad.
Apart of dad, the topic of religion is a bit of a taboo in our family, though.
So we weren't "forced" into religion. (But we did attend some activities as kids... Like sunday school or whatever..)


----------



## f1ora

Yea, my mother is a very devout Muslim and took me to sunday school and mosque often. She made sure I knew my passages of Qur'an every time I was with her

My father was never as religious as her and allowed me to be more flexible. At one point I decided on Atheism..then I became really interested in Paganism and Crowley's work once, but that passed after a year or two. Still interesting

Today I wouldn't consider myself a follower of any faith but i do believe in a God nonetheless. Just nonreligious


----------



## gtanil

I was raised as a Muslim by my parents from the beginning but some time ago I just questioned the religion. Why? At a very important point of my life I asked myself "Did I really WANT to live? I never asked anyone for this.". If there is Allah or God (Whatever you wanna call it.) then why was it so cruel and gave me this?


----------



## nubly

I was raised with a belief but my parents didn't go to church. We had saints on the walls and they talked aboug God, had me go to chatecism (sp) but science opened up my eyes.


----------



## doe deer

i wasn't raised in a religious family. well the rest of my family is religious but my parents are not, i'd say they may be spiritual but definitely not religious. in fact, my dad is pretty anti-religion.


----------



## Str

I was raised with a bit of christianity by VERY moderately religious parents, but I became an atheist after a while. At this point I'm not even sure if they're still religious. I do still celebrate christmas, but mostly to see my other family members again.


----------



## Carolyne

Yes, but I wouldn't say it was that gradual, it happened pretty quickly once I started questioning it.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Yeah.

Lost it, found it, lost it again, found it...One heck of a spiritual rollercoaster.

It's funny that i found more info and much less doubt when i stopped searching in churches though. I'm closer to real faith than i've ever been singing kumbaya in some random building with a priest preaching random bible quotes.


----------



## komorikun

No, I was raised an atheist. My dad is an atheist. He liked to talk about how the Romans would feed the Christians to the lions.  My mom wasn't religious, sort of spiritual maybe. 

Even my grandparents weren't religious. Maybe not atheist but I don't recall any stories of my parents going to church. It's just not in our blood.


----------



## littleghost

I was raised Catholic. My mom was Catholic and my dad Protestant, but dad promised when he was married that the kids would be raised Catholic (only way to be married in the Catholic church). We went to church quite often when I was young and I went to CCE (like Sunday School, I guess, but it was Wed. after school). In middle school we rebelled and eventually were allowed to quit going. Somehow I was lucky and put off my first confession (which my church did much later than it seems some of you guys did, it was right before confirmation). I used to be really curious as to what people confessed in there. 

My parents were never really religious at home. I think mom sent us to church and CCE because she thought she was supposed to, and that's what she did. There's some weird stuff in Catholic church. I never know what all Christians do vs. what only Catholics do. I can still say some of those chants... "on the third day he rose again in fulfillment of the scriptures, etc...) I never knew what I way saying, but I learned it all.

Now I consider myself agnostic. I can't believe any one religion has got it all right and the others wrong. I like the Asian philosophy which allows you to follow more than one religion at once, they're not exclusive. There's an Asian saying "There is more than one way to reach the top of the mountain."


----------



## SplendidBob

My mum was an atheist. My dad came from a fairly religious family, but my mum fairly quickly browbeat that stuff out of him I reckon 

When I was a kid my mum always talked about when she died (which "would likely only be a few years now" she wanted to be buried in a cardboard box, no point wasting money on the dead etc :lol).

So yeh, I never bought into the idea of religion. Which I am grateful for. I would have become atheist in the end most likely, but it seems to be a tough ride when you are raised in a religious environment.


----------



## Avalyn

My siblings and I were but non of us believe in God anymore. That left pretty quickly when we started learning about evolution and all that. I'm pretty sure my mum still does though and I'm not sure about my dad. I think he believes in _some_ kind of higher power, just not sure what.


----------



## Vanishing Dreams

My whole family is religious. I spent a lot of my Sundays at church. My mom is still in denial that I don't believe in god anymore, I told my family 5 years ago. They don't want me to tell it to my other people of my family because it's going to be a big deal and shameful bla bla bla


----------



## Nonsensical

My mother's bat**** crazy God talk made me lose faith at an early age and become disgusted with religion.


----------



## Erroll

Agnostic here via catholicism. Looking for reasons to move towards one pole or the other, but currently facing both ways from the middle. 

But maybe we humans thought up this 'god' idea. And apparently we like it, because we've always had it in one form or another, down through the ages. Sometimes I think that humanity is on a path of cooperation which will, over the eons evolve, to the point where we function in perfect harmony, as a single individual; perhaps like the god that we've always sought longingly. But sometimes I watch the news and all those lofty thoughts vanish.


----------



## zonebox

Sort of, nothing really strict compared to other people. My parents did not read the bible to me, we did not go to church often, my mom always believed, and prayed a lot :lol But she and my father were more so liberal Christians than anything else, I know more about the Bible than they do. 

When I was younger, I used to want to be a preacher, I thought it was such a cool thing, to serve God and people. I wanted to be the person who took care of others, through the power of God. I did not really know about religion that much either, back then. I thought it was all about love, and I really did believe God existed. I lost faith though, now I am more so agnostic.

My mom was raised Catholic, my father was a methodist. I say was, because that is how they are raised, neither of them go to Church. I was baptised in a Roman Catholic church.


----------



## TheFighterStillRemains

I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic school for 13 years. I always questioned things and thought most of it never made sense. Becoming friends with an atheist kinda just sealed the deal for me and I never looked back.


----------



## afeerah

Same. I started associating religion with evil bc the people who use it are evil. But then again religion is just a tool. Is a sword used to kill or to bestow upon a knights shoulder? Some use religion as a weapon, some use it as a means to gain relief of there being more to why we are here etc.

I was Catholic, turned Muslim, now back to being Catholic because I go with whatever feels right (does the Quran speak to me today or Bible) etc


----------



## afeerah

I read you can find 'God' in science, Science is God haha


----------



## Blue Dino

No. My family are all atheists except for my mom who is a Christian. She was an atheist too before, but until later on when we move to a new place. So she joined a local church just to make friends and to find a niche to fit in. Eventually she got baptized (or whatever its called). But the embarrassing thing is, to this day she knows very little about the religion. All of the stories.. like the last supper or noah's ark etc. She had no idea what they are when I asked her. So I just see her as one of those phony play religious people. I think this is common. I personally know a few people that joined a church and got baptized just to meet guys/girls.

My grandparents on dad's side are buddhists. They do those buddhist shrines and burn incenses and stuff. I honestly like that religion much better since you only keep to yourself if you worship it. No personal commitment to have to go to church to mingle every sunday and special days. I know lots of churches, if you stop going for awhile, they send people to your home to confront you to ask you why you stopped going to their church. I remember when my mom decided to switch churches, the members of her old christian church would keep knocking on our door twice a week in dinner time and try to lure her back to the old church and started badmouthing their rival church. It's like all of the churches are competing for members or something.. Are they like a gang or mafia?


----------



## Wrparth

Hello everyone, my father is hindu and knows every Vedas & sanskrit Scriptures and my mother is Catholic Christian. No one has forced me to follow a specific religion. 
I used to go to Church and temple and sometimes in mosque with some muslim friends. 
I respect every religion and it's culture. I believe we are all humans first. I am not so much into religion but I am against those people who are doing politics in the name of religion.

Sent via Moto.


----------



## SouthWest

In primary school we had to sing hymns and say prayers. In my early teens my mum would take my sister and I to a Friday night social club at the local chapel where they had us pray before we left.

I didn't question why I had to pray and sing hymns as a kid, but looking back I don't remember ever being asked if I wanted to or whether I even believed what I was doing.

From my mid teens onwards any connection I had with religion fizzled out. I've been secular for a long time and my mum has drifted away from her earlier religious beliefs, too.


----------



## Virgo

No. I never went to church. I was baptized, but I think my parents did that just to please their parents. My mom believes in God, not any religion, but she still considers herself "Catholic". My dad, I'm not sure how he feels. Anyway, my mom told me there was a God so I thought there was (just like I thought there was Santa, no offense.) Once I "realized", I never went back. Atheism just makes the most possible sense to me.


----------



## NoEgo

I was raised into believing God, but my family never went to church. I like to call it "semi-religious". I think a lot of homes are like that. My parents had all my siblings and I baptized, and that's pretty much it. Not communion, no confirmation, no Sunday bests, no missed football games, no nothing. Now that I think about it, I don't think I remember "God" or "Jesus" being mentioned in my house often as a child. I didn't even know what praying was until I was like 6, because I never saw anyone in my house do it. I learned religious ideologies from my friends and their families. All my friends growing up were very religious. My parents definitely believe the whole spiel, but they don't practice it at all.

Maybe they wanted us to figure what we wanted to believe in for ourselves. I thank them for their efforts if that's the case. Unfortunately, that didn't do much. I found there was a lot of peer pressure to believe in the Roman Catholic religion. Like I said before, all my friends were Catholic, so that made me the odd man out for not knowing anything about it. I identified as a Catholic when I was a kid, but I didn't really believe it whole-heartedly. It was more of out of fear than anything else. Then one day, I was just walking in the woods, completely immersed, I stopped, took a good look at the foliage around me, listened to the sounds of the birds, and it dawned on me, "I don't believe in God." It was a very profound moment that I'll never forget. That was also the time I realized the power nature has on my mind.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Not by my immediate family, but in the UK they do a lot of mandatory religious stuff in primary school and then my mum's family are mostly Catholic, though she herself refuses to discuss religion. So I did end up Christian of some sort for a while. I didn't believe most of the stuff religious people believe though, I was never a young Earth creationist for example, so it was never overly difficult for me to let go during the period when I did. In fact I had a harder time letting go of Santa Clause if I'm honest. And I think it was gradual I don't remember any defining moment.

But I was definitely a big fan of Jesus at one point. My dad was quite insistent apparently that me and my brother not be baptised so we could 'choose our own beliefs' (never mind the fact that I obviously just ended up absorbing all the stuff from school etc anyway ) but while I was with my grandma and cousin once I started crying about how I thought Jesus wouldn't love me if I wasn't baptised :') I think I liked Jesus more than God (which makes sense.)

I think I was weirdly drawn to the Satan character in a play at my school when I was like... Don't remember the exact age but probably 9-11. But I was always drawn to weirdo dark characters, it started with Beetlejuice and just spiralled out of control from that point onwards. This was a couple of years before I started dressing weirdly and people started to accuse me of being a Satanist in school because of that (but I never was.)

I also later became interested in Paganism for the nature/creative aspect. Not to mention a big fan of magic, but I don't believe in any of that stuff even if it's interesting. Also superficial interest in Buddhist philosophy.


----------



## Yer Blues

No, but was exposed to it through friends & relatives.


----------



## nonethemore

.


----------



## DarrellLicht

I grew up in a Mormon family. Their involvement going as far back as the founding era. I think to my parents, the church was more of a cultural tradition. They did not exactly follow the church's standards to the letter. Yet they are also so heavily indoctrinated they can't imagine any way of life other than Mormonism being at all the right way. They tend to minimize our pursuits and hardships as if we were deserving of those hardships for not being Mormon. 

Only one of my sisters stayed involved with the church to the extent of marrying her ex husband in the temple and having two children in that marriage. She separated from all that ten years ago. Currently only my cousins are 'active' in the faith (I don't know them anyway), and I resigned formerly over a year ago since it wasn't enough to not participate. Once in a while I would get some attention from missionaries etc. 

I think all organized religions are neglecting the aspects of the concept that people liked participating in. When a church's influence gets to a point in creating anxiety and guilt in peoples lives, they are doing something wrong.

As far as a belief in god is concerned, I think it's a mistake that we keep personifying the 'god creator' especially when you have people in ascending holy status being constantly referenced as a god.

To me, 'god' is a incomprehensible force of nature. It's not a bearded old man in sandals who keeps track of how many times you touch yourself at night.


----------



## Yer Blues

I forgot to mention I was raised by Smurfs the first three years of my life.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

My mom has always been very religious, my dad not so much. We went to church as kids but I can't say I ever really believed I just did as I was told until I was able to make my own decisions. I'm a spiritual agnostic, I look for wisdom where it is to be found but I don't adhere to one specific way of living spiritually


----------



## Riff Raff

I was NOT raise in any kind of religion. So I never had that kind of thing thrust upon me. 
But later in life I had questions.. so I started my own searching in life and did come to believe in God and in the Bible as a basic outline for goodness and God.. BUT I am not super religious.. and I do not even believe everything in the Bible.. but I do use the basic principals of goodness in the Bible as a source for governing my life... things like 
Do not steal 
Do not lie 
Do not kill anybody 
Don't get drunk or do drugs
Don't gossip about people
Do not be rude or mean to people 
Do not use violence
Do not hate people > but rather love them 
Do not be mean to people
Help other people out in life when you can

that sort of stuff.. also to treat other people the way you yourself want to be treated 
for me > that's the kind of stuff I believe in

BUT > I do not pray that much anymore.. because I really don't see that God actually answers prayers that much.

So I do not pray.. and then hope that God works things out
I rather > decided what I want from life.. then go about trying to find a 'practical way' to make those things come to pass myself. Because for me... that works

Just praying and hoping does not work for me. 
I believe WE need to make things happen in our lives by taking action and making use of available resources... 
So I do pray from time to time... but I actually think taking action is what makes things happen... not just prayer

BUT. on the other hand there are sometimes when things come to me that I prayed about in a very interesting way.... so i do believe that God can help us somehow > *the key for me... is to be a good person and to have positive goals in life.* 
if you do that > then things come to you more often as you need them

that is how I live. I do believe in God but I am not super-religious. do not go to Church all the time and I do not get very involved in religion... but I DO practice the basic principals of goodness the Bible teaches in my everyday life and I believe that is what is most important in life


----------



## Nitrogen

My parents aren't really into organized religion (thank god...ehm.) They're more 'spiritual but not religious' sorts, I remember growing up I watched some of those biblical cartoons but I think it was mainly for my parents to familiarize me with religious/Christian concepts, since it was nothing ever ingrained in me. Never went to church, never talked about religion much in the household.

I'm the only atheist in the household but my eldest sister might be too, I dunno. My parents celebrate the commercialized aspects of 'religious' holidays, easter christmas etc.


----------



## komorikun

A couple years ago I went to the supermarket at around 6PM on a Sunday and it was already closed. 20 minute walk each way.

Didn't know they closed early on Easter. I don't recall stores closing early on Easter in California. Weird. Since when was Easter such a big holiday that stores close early? I thought it was a very minor holiday compared to Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years.


----------



## Ai

Kinda, but not really? Both my mother and father are Christians; but not _super_ "devoutly," I suppose you could say. My dad, ironically, only ever brings up God when he's attempting to justify mistreating someone else. I was primarily raised by my mother, however, and she is more earnest in her belief. We've never been regular church goers, but I had plenty of children's Bible stories available to me and went to vacation Bible school a few times when I was quite young. It was never a pressed issue, though. As soon as I stopped "believing" (at probably around 10 or so), the subject was dropped. I respect her faith, and she respects my more or less lack thereof.

I suppose it might even be more accurate to say my mother is more "spiritual" than she is an adherent to organized religion. She believes in God and devotes herself to the basic tenets of digestible Christianity: do unto others, love thy neighbor, help those less fortunate, etc. etc. etc. But she's not hampered by some of the more insidious and hostile notes inherent in "Church vs everyone and everything else" types of dogmas; items and "edicts" taken as literal witness rather than the literary metaphors they were intended to be, for the sole purpose of exclusion and self-aggrandizement. So that helped, I guess.

She wants for a greater good and the recognition of something bigger and more wonderful than us, not clubs and lock-step opinions.


----------



## Innerwolf

Blue Dino said:


> I personally know a few people that joined a church and got baptized just to meet guys/girls.


Sadly, I've considered going back to church thinking that this would be the only way a guy like me would be able to meet a girl :sigh



Blue Dino said:


> I remember when my mom decided to switch churches, the members of her old christian church would keep knocking on our door twice a week in dinner time and try to lure her back to the old church and started badmouthing their rival church. It's like all of the churches are competing for members or something.. Are they like a gang or mafia?


That's just nuts lmao . Rival churches, seriously? If they really preached the word of God there'd be no rivalry in the first place. I believe that the way all churches are today though are not what Jesus intended them to be, but the same could be said about society as a whole.


----------



## Tetragammon

Eh, I could never manage true faith in the first place so I didn't have any to lose. I was raised in a strict Mormon household with mandatory 3-hour church services every single week, but never really believed. It always felt boring, like a waste of time to me. I remember the first time that I realized that all the adults around me actually believed in these fairy tales I heard every Sunday at church and was so confused. As a kid I thought adults were supposed to be intellectual and grounded people who knew the difference between fact and fiction, yet when it came to religion they were just as gullible as small children. I remember my baptism at 8 years old very well -- I didn't want to go through with it but couldn't voice my own opinion because the pressure was so strong. Getting baptised is just what every Mormon kid does -- they don't really give you a choice. 

I think I've really always been an atheist but wasn't able to express myself or identify as such until I was almost 30, because I feared the consequences. I personally knew two different boys who were disowned and kicked out of their houses for disagreeing with their parents' religion, and didn't want to end up the same way. So I kept my head down and pretended to believe for decades, and I think that had a lot to do with the development of my anxiety and depression.


----------



## rabidfoxes

My parents practice hypocrite spirituality: my mother prays when on a plane or a ferry, and my father participates in some rituals at Christmas, where his mother is present. That's about it. At school I had a religion class for a while, but I always felt sorry for the teacher, it was such a pisstake. We had to sing hymns and we'd shout unharmoniously on top of our lungs, pretending to be enthusiastic. I wore a few plastic prison rosaries at once, but not as a religious thing - I think I'd picked that up off Pete Doherty...

That said, I had some sort of faith in something, and insisted on being a Christian for years (people thought I was taking the piss, because my behaviour was so inconsistent). I think I believed in the possibility of some sort of 'alternative' handling of religion that's not harmful. But gradually I just recouched it in my own terms and constructed my own sense of morality, at the same time developing a deep distaste for organised religion, whatever it may be.


----------



## lackofflife

yes..my father is an islamic scholar....u know the ones that advice people in the mosque ....my mother is also crazy about religion.....but they are always telling me to pray 5 times aday..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## gtaguywithsa

I was taught to believe in fundamentalist Christianity by a born again Christian mother. My dad didn't really have any faith and definitely was/is not religious at all. I went to church/Sunday school as a kid, but stopped going once I was too old for Sunday school because I found (still find) listening to sermons a real bore.

That being said, at a young age I did have a very profound spiritual experience, which sort of cemented my belief in the fundamentalist Christianity of my mother and the crazy televangelist shows she always had on television. I didn't question this version of Christianity, mostly because of how intense the spiritual experience was, but fundamentalism really conflicted with being gay. Caused a lot of tension and inner turmoil for me for a long long time.

My mom died almost ten years ago and she suffered a lot, really horrific pain and experience with the medical system. She believed to the end and when she died in spite of all my fervent prayer I felt like my faith was ripped from under me. Since then I have gradually started stripping away and abandoning all of the fundamentalist beliefs. I had been going to church regularly as an adult but about a year ago I stopped attending because I didn't align with the rituals anymore. Then my best friend, who was a fervent evangelical Christian, killed himself last summer. I definitely believe in "God" as the Higher Power, great source, but other than that the religious beliefs of my past have all fallen away. I realized I believed in a religion because I was taught it from a young age and basically believed it blindly, even when it didn't make sense. So now I guess I am a theist, but as far as who God is, how God works, I am just starting to really connect again. Without institutional, rituaoistic, fundamentalist religion.


----------



## Erroll

gtaguywithsa said:


> I was taught to believe in fundamentalist Christianity by a born again Christian mother. My dad didn't really have any faith and definitely was/is not religious at all. I went to church/Sunday school as a kid, but stopped going once I was too old for Sunday school because I found (still find) listening to sermons a real bore.
> 
> That being said, at a young age I did have a very profound spiritual experience, which sort of cemented my belief in the fundamentalist Christianity of my mother and the crazy televangelist shows she always had on television. I didn't question this version of Christianity, mostly because of how intense the spiritual experience was, but fundamentalism really conflicted with being gay. Caused a lot of tension and inner turmoil for me for a long long time.
> 
> My mom died almost ten years ago and she suffered a lot, really horrific pain and experience with the medical system. She believed to the end and when she died in spite of all my fervent prayer I felt like my faith was ripped from under me. Since then I have gradually started stripping away and abandoning all of the fundamentalist beliefs. I had been going to church regularly as an adult but about a year ago I stopped attending because I didn't align with the rituals anymore. Then my best friend, who was a fervent evangelical Christian, killed himself last summer. I definitely believe in "God" as the Higher Power, great source, but other than that the religious beliefs of my past have all fallen away. I realized I believed in a religion because I was taught it from a young age and basically believed it blindly, even when it didn't make sense. So now I guess I am a theist, but as far as who God is, how God works, I am just starting to really connect again. Without institutional, rituaoistic, fundamentalist religion.


My spirituality has taken a similar route. As a little kid I was taught religion by those black robed nuns. Despite their good intent, my way of practicing what they taught was anything but christian. Then as a young adult, I became part of the fundamentalist movement, until it became obvious that the movement was being co-opted as a political sect to be courted. So I went back to traditional Catholicism, with the traditional disconnects between how reality seemed and what the religion taught. Then I read the letters of Mother Teresa, where she says repeatedly that she has no faith. Not just once but repeatedly over a long period, she decries the absence of god that she feels in her life. But regardless of the state of her faith, she continued a life of giving and service.

So now I look at it this way. It just seems more likely to me that if there is a god, who is responsible for this universe, he would want his creations to feel a need for him, and to look for him. Like Mother Teresa, if I live my life in service to others, out of true concern for their well-being, despite that spiritually empty feeling concerning god, well, any god would have to be satisfied with that. I mean I want to believe, but I can't make myself believe. So instead, I think 'What kind of legacy do I want to leave behind in this world?' Do I want to be someone who added to the ills of society or do I want to leave a legacy of peace love and joy? In my heart, I hope my legacy falls in the latter category.

I want to leave the world a better place than I found it, by doing little kindnesses whenever I see the opportunity. If god chooses not to reveal himself to me; I'm good with that; he may not even exist anyway. But people do exist, and there are little nice things that I can do for people, that make me feel good spiritually.

So, to make a long story shorter, 'Kindness is my religion', and I find the personal reward of doing kind acts is much more gratifying than someone repeatedly assuring me, over and over again, that 'God loves me'. What does it mean to be loved by something you can't even understand?

Established religion just doesn't do anything for me, and it is often an impediment to good things because it takes god out of the world and locks him up in heaven to be prayed to, rather than seeing his goodness in people and desiring to serve them, because of the good that I see in them. Because those good works that aren't encouraged and nurtured with affirmation tend to die out. Human nature.

Errol


----------



## kageri

No exposure to religion. My mom believes all unexplained things are aliens and that was 1 short conversation. I have been in a church once other than for a wedding. I've never looked at a religious text. I have done no research into religion. I struggle to understand the right name for groups of people who are religious because I do not know what is connected to what and what the differences are. I don't really care. Call it fence sitting but I am agnostic. I have not attempted to prove or disprove to myself the existence of any type of higher power and it's not really in my thoughts. I do what I feel is right for me and seeing all the variation in people including those strongly religious I think that is plenty good enough even if a god does exist and is judging. It's just pointless to pursue that information.


----------



## eukz

Totally.


----------



## Revenwyn

I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian cult, homeschooled, homechurched, skirt wearing, headcovering, dating is sinful, the whole nine yards. 

Kept me from my first love/best friend/childhood crush for about a decade and a half longer than anticipated. 

I'm not sure exactly where I stand religiously now. My late husband was a former Christian who became a follower of the Norse gods, I kinda just followed whatever he tried. I don't have a real strong drive to be a very religious person. 

My current fiance is Wiccan, but he was raised in the same cult I was (he was my best friend.) He's a very religious person but understands that I'm not. 

I can't quite call myself even an agnostic, and definitely not an atheist, but I don't really care about following anything. I'm definitely not a Christian.


----------



## Mlt18

Yes. And I believed it until about middle school. I don't feel like I have a need for religion in my life. It's hard for me to believe in the supernatural and stuff like that. I used to try to force myself.

Sent from my SM-J700P using Tapatalk


----------



## Scrub-Zero

I was forced to go to church and it kind of made me rebel and lose faith. 

I gained a lot more faith as I grew older and stopped going to churches for revelations. Ever since I got the internet I've been searching for answers and I found much. Probably more than i wanted to know. But my faith has been growing more and more these last few years. Started praying/Reading the Bible even, which is kind of nuts for me. I was always better at faking belief. Now I actually believe.


----------



## ShiftyShifty

Gradually lost faith? It was more sudden for me. I was raised Southern Baptist (mom's church) with a Catholic dad and took it kinda seriously until age 15. I might not have had such a complex about it if I'd been raised in a more moderate religion like Episcopalian, but for those unaware Southern Baptists are associated with conservative politics and taking the Bible literally. In my thoughts on these topics, I decided I couldn't justify those things so I became an atheist, secretly. I still go to church with one or both parents sometimes, which isn't a big deal for me any more since my mom found a more tolerable church. Congrats on your marriage, @Revenwyn.


----------



## Gavroche

Raised Catholic in a practicing, but not extreme family. Then in my early teens basically got extreme (by listening to some personalities in the church that had some cultish followings) on the basis that my anxiety and depression could only be cured by becoming more devout. This had the opposite effect, it caused indescribable emotional trauma and quite frankly could have been the death of me. Once I hit such lows, all of the compounded suffering actually made me challenge this belief system for the first time because I couldn't reconcile how such a cruel system (that had induced such trauma in me personally) could be true. I don't like to characterize it as losing faith because that almost implies a kind of tragic loss when it's not. I gained peace of mind and freedom from leaving, but still find it hard to come to terms with the fact that some of the best years of my life were stolen by this religion.


----------



## Sabk

Pretty much lost whatever faith I 'had' a long time ago. I grew up catholic. Just no.

Sent from my SM-G900H using Tapatalk


----------



## harrison

I was raised a Seventh Day Adventist - my Mum and Grandma were. Their Sabbath is on Saturday so my sister and I used to sit around all afternoon after church wondering what we were actually allowed to do. Thank God my father wasn't religious - it provided some perspective.

I started to realise it was all pretty silly at about 16 - although my life was still influenced by it for a while because I didn't want to hurt my Mum's feelings. I'll still find myself "praying" occasionally - if I'm scared enough. Fear is a very powerful motivator - and we go back to the things we were instilled with as kids.


----------



## MobiusX

harrison said:


> I was raised a Seventh Day Adventist - my Mum and Grandma were. Their Sabbath is on Saturday so my sister and I used to sit around all afternoon after church wondering what we were actually allowed to do. Thank God my father wasn't religious - it provided some perspective.
> 
> I started to realise it was all pretty silly at about 16 - although my life was still influenced by it for a while because I didn't want to hurt my Mum's feelings. I'll still find myself "praying" occasionally - if I'm scared enough. Fear is a very powerful motivator - and we go back to the things we were instilled with as kids.


I was also raised a Seventh Day Adventist. I never got baptized in that denomination because when people do they have to make a serious commitment. A lot of people I went to church with would sometimes even pressure me or try to make me feel bad for not being baptized like I was going to go to hell and some of these same people don't even go to church anymore. That church was pretty strict. I think it varies with different Seventh Day Adventist church. I went to a Hispanic one and they would talk about NO movie theaters, No smoking or drinking, No sex before marriage, no dancing, no wearing jewelry, etc... The truth is I have a different belief of God that leaves many confused and doesn't go along with any religion that I know of. I believe God is good and evil. He created us like him and that's why we are like him, plus his statements and actions also back this up.

And I also don't believe in Ellen G. White.


----------



## harrison

MobiusX said:


> I was also raised a Seventh Day Adventist. I never got baptized in that denomination because when people do they have to make a serious commitment. A lot of people I went to church with would sometimes even pressure me or try to make me feel bad for not being baptized like I was going to go to hell and some of these same people don't even go to church anymore. That church was pretty strict. I think it varies with different Seventh Day Adventist church. I went to a Hispanic one and they would talk about NO movie theaters, No smoking or drinking, No sex before marriage, no dancing, no wearing jewelry, etc... The truth is I have a different belief of God that leaves many confused and doesn't go along with any religion that I know of. I believe God is good and evil. He created us like him and that's why we are like him, plus his statements and actions also back this up.
> 
> And I also don't believe in Ellen G. White.


Yeah I remember you told me not long ago Mobius you were raised as a Sevvy too.

Yeah, they can be pretty strict. I was baptized at 13 - full immersion in front of the whole church. I remember my Grandmother saying to me "Now you're responsible for your own sins." My God! Such a ridiculous thing to say - but she didn't know any better and she was a nice person.

We had a lot more freedom because of my Dad - he was no religion at all and sort of the opposite to that. He was very dishonest and crooked - he just didn't want me to upset my Mum. She was a lovely person.

I don't have any religion now - I would call myself agnostic.


----------



## Chevy396

Not catholic, but similar in a lot of ways. I would say quite a bit stricter though. I hated it. I refused to become a full member and quit going to church at a young age. Was punished pretty harshly for it, but it was worth it to be free.


----------



## BrokeTech

My mother could never get me to have any faith, though she has always tried. My sisters and I used to get dragged to church and Sunday School every week for hours, and it was just torture to me even as a kid. I remember crying one time in Sunday School because the teacher was questioning me in front of all the other kids about the Bible and I didn't know anything, lol. Still really don't. 

My mother thinks I am an atheist and says every now and then how it bothers her one of her kids is an "atheist," or will try to argue with me about there being a "Supreme Being" and always says it like it's just common sense. She's one of those people to whom there's zero use in explaining the difference between an atheist and an agnostic individual. 

The funny thing is my father and I are essentially on the same page. I am not sure how they're married; a lot of Christians make it a big deal what their partner believes. Also not sure why I get challenged more about what I believe by her than he does.


----------



## whispered0mens

My dads side of the family are VERY religious people, as well as my moms side but my dads side just a bit more. Growing up I would occasionally attend both Catholic and Christian churches depending on who I went with. When I got older and I stated having problem with things like bullying, self esteem, etc., I would pray about it thinking that god will rid me of all of my problems. I prayed for YEARS and my problems only got worse, it seems. It wasn't until maybe 8th grade? that I started thinking that maybe god was not real. But I still tried to pray occasionally. Now i'm 22, and have no clue if god exists or not. I don't know what t believe. I feel like I need to believe in _something_ for my own sanity but I don't. I just struggle with religion so much


----------

