# All the good women already taken



## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

As most of you guys know, my fiancée dying, probably will be dead in about 3 weeks. She was older than me, but was basically as close to a perfect match as I really ever expected to find. Now at 33, I'm forced solo again and don't really want to be alone another 40-50 years, and because of local economy, student debt, etc I really can't afford to support a bunch of kids. I think most single women 30-40ish are that way for a reason... the truly friendly and sexy women don't seem to make it past about 22 without at least 10 guys clamoring around them until they are married.


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

And I sometimes feel like all good men are taken.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

eveningbat said:


> And I sometimes feel like all good men are taken.


The difference being that a sexy lone woman will get hit on by a dozen guys a day, even if married while most sexy lone men will never hear a peep from any women around them.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

:no


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

knightofdespair said:


> The difference being that a sexy lone woman will get hit on by a dozen guys a day, even if married while most sexy lone men will never hear a peep from any women around them.


A dozen of guys doesn't, however, mean that those are good guys.


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## Dre12 (Jul 25, 2014)

Quite a tasteless thread considering that your finance is still on her deathbed?!?!


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Dre12 said:


> Quite a tasteless thread considering that your finance is still on her deathbed?!?!


And has been for 2 years basically. A lot of time to be alone and feel hopeless about the future.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

eveningbat said:


> A dozen of guys doesn't, however, mean that those are good guys.


Very true, still much much more likely they have encountered advances from at least 100:1 times as many single people over the years as a single male would have.


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

knightofdespair said:


> Very true, still much much more likely they have encountered advances from at least 100:1 times as many single people over the years as a single male would have.


Sorry, I was a bit harsh in that posting.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

I'm sorry for your impending loss. I've become single at that age and had similar concerns, though I've always managed to find someone who I could love and love me back.

As the saying goes, there is a lid for every pot.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

eveningbat said:


> Sorry, I was a bit harsh in that posting.


I agree with you there are probably a lot of good single women but it is still a fact that way more single women will get approached than men, it is way easier for a guy to remain single through his 20's and 30's especially with SA or other issues like job requirements. Since I have SA I'm not really outgoing enough to find those rare needles in the haystack who somehow managed to remain single and hot to about my own age without having 5 kids that I could never support.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

KyleInSTL said:


> I'm sorry for your impending loss. I've become single at that age and had similar concerns, though I've always managed to find someone who I could love and love me back.
> 
> As the saying goes, there is a lid for every pot.


I'm sure there is, but how would I ever find her.


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## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

Wow 22? 

22 is around when people actually become datable.


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

knightofdespair said:


> I agree with you there are probably a lot of good single women but it is still a fact that way more single women will get approached than men, it is way easier for a guy to remain single through his 20's and 30's especially with SA or other issues like job requirements. Since I have SA I'm not really outgoing enough to find those rare needles in the haystack who somehow managed to remain single and hot to about my own age without having 5 kids that I could never support.


Right, it's a pity some good men get rejected and remain single. Same concerns good women.


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

Sorry to hear about your fiancee, Good people can remain single long after 22 its just they're harder to find because they're probably very quiet and don't go out much or throw themselves into work, low self esteem mayby...


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

knightofdespair said:


> I'm sure there is, but how would I ever find her.


How did you find your fiance?

You've got to be physically and emotionally available. And yes, per norm, you may have to be more assertive in meeting people and making your feelings known.

Give yourself time to heal as well.


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## extremly (Oct 25, 2012)

Sorry to hear about your fiance but I don't understand a particular sentence in your original post. Did you have kids with her?


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

knightofdespair said:


> As most of you guys know, my fiancée dying, probably will be dead in about 3 weeks. She was older than me, but was basically as close to a perfect match as I really ever expected to find. Now at 33, I'm forced solo again and don't really want to be alone another 40-50 years, and because of local economy, student debt, etc I really can't afford to support a bunch of kids. I think most single women 30-40ish are that way for a reason... the truly friendly and sexy women don't seem to make it past about 22 without at least 10 guys clamoring around them until they are married.


Well, sounds like you'll be grieving properly.


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## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

eveningbat said:


> Right, it's a pity some good men get rejected and remain single. Same concerns good women.


well I am good ( I think ) and the chance had never arisen for me to be rejected.... rather that completely unnoticed. ( and if I was noticed, the girl(s) made no effort to advance it. or let me know.

I cant mind read, if they notice me and look and don't say anything and I dont realize, then it makes you wonder how any one can ever meet up if they dont speak......


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## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

This thread annoys me. "Good" women don't have kids? "Good" women have guys clamoring around them until they get married? Hate to break it to ya, but the guys worth dating also have women clamoring for their attention and they get dates easily.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

knightofdespair said:


> As most of you guys know, my fiancée dying, probably will be dead in about 3 weeks. She was older than me, but was basically as close to a perfect match as I really ever expected to find. Now at 33, I'm forced solo again and don't really want to be alone another 40-50 years, and because of local economy, student debt, etc I really can't afford to support a bunch of kids. I think most single women 30-40ish are that way for a reason... the truly friendly and sexy women don't seem to make it past about 22 without at least 10 guys clamoring around them until they are married.


Your fiancee is dying and all you can think about is the lack of single women you want to date? :con

How can you move on so quickly*‽‽‽*


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Shameful said:


> This thread annoys me. "Good" women don't have kids? "Good" women have guys clamoring around them until they get married?


Not until they're married, they don't.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

I'm so sorry about your fiancée. I lost my gf to suicide two and a half years ago. It just completely destroyed me. I am never, ever going to get over it. The man I was before it happened is gone. I'm trying to find some sense of being normal again, but failing miserably. The guilt I have is just...overwhelming.

I'm finding there is no instruction book when it comes to grieving. I've seen a dozen different psychiatrists since it happened (at least) and been in three different psychiatric hospitals. No one has been able to tell me how to grieve, how to find acceptance, how to stop blaming myself and get rid of the guilt. I think I probably understand a little bit of the hell you're going through and will go through when she passes. I hope you stay strong, allow yourself to grieve, and don't self-medicate or run from your feelings.

I wish I had it in me to be so ready to move on, like you seem to be. I want to but I just can't. I've posted on here before about how my cousin is constantly trying to set me up with women (my next door neighbor and others). He believes that if I just got laid I would get over my gf. I don't know if that's how you feel or not...I hope not. It won't help you get over her, if you really love her. I still love my gf very much, and always will, and it almost feels like I'd be cheating on her if I was with someone else. Hasn't that ever crossed your mind? Or is she already gone to you? What would she think about you wanting to move on, before she's even gone? Would you have any guilt about that, wouldn't it just feel really strange to you, eat you up inside? Are you looking for a replacement for your fiancée, instead of being ready to move on into a new relationship with someone else? If you started dating someone else tonight, would you tell them about your situation? What would you even say?


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

TenYears said:


> I'm so sorry about your fiancée. I lost my gf to suicide two and a half years ago. It just completely destroyed me. I am never, ever going to get over it. The man I was before it happened is gone. I'm trying to find some sense of being normal again, but failing miserably. The guilt I have is just...overwhelming.
> 
> I'm finding there is no instruction book when it comes to grieving. I've seen a dozen different psychiatrists since it happened (at least) and been in three different psychiatric hospitals. No one has been able to tell me how to grieve, how to find acceptance, how to stop blaming myself and get rid of the guilt. I think I probably understand a little bit of the hell you're going through and will go through when she passes. I hope you stay strong, allow yourself to grieve, and don't self-medicate or run from your feelings.
> 
> I wish I had it in me to be so ready to move on, like you seem to be. I want to but I just can't. I've posted on here before about how my cousin is constantly trying to set me up with women (my next door neighbor and others). He believes that if I just got laid I would get over my gf. I don't know if that's how you feel or not...I hope not. It won't help you get over her, if you really love her. I still love my gf very much, and always will, and it almost feels like I'd be cheating on her if I was with someone else. Hasn't that ever crossed your mind? Or is she already gone to you? What would she think about you wanting to move on, before she's even gone? Would you have any guilt about that, wouldn't it just feel really strange to you, eat you up inside? Are you looking for a replacement for your fiancée, instead of being ready to move on into a new relationship with someone else? If you started dating someone else tonight, would you tell them about your situation? What would you even say?


Well I've had 2 years to think about it. I still love her, I always will but she is not and has not really been a romantic partner for 2 years already... Nothing will ever diminish what I felt for her, but I am getting older every day and I feel like while dating sucks being alone forever is worse. I have SA pretty bad and I often cannot attend the kind of social gatherings a lot of people will meet at, it precludes it from even being an option. I met my fiancée after a long string of duds that left me feeling pretty hopeless about it all, but that was many years ago, and I feel like if anything it will be harder at 33 than it was at 19/20.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Shameful said:


> This thread annoys me. "Good" women don't have kids? "Good" women have guys clamoring around them until they get married?


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)




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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

I'm sorry about your fiance, OP. That's really sad and I couldn't begin to know what that feels like.

However, don't give up hope in finding someone in the future. There are still plenty of "good" women out there. I feel the same when a woman says all the good men are already taken. They're out there.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Darktower776 said:


> I'm sorry about your fiance, OP. That's really sad and I couldn't begin to know what that feels like.
> 
> However, don't give up hope in finding someone in the future. There are still plenty of "good" women out there. I feel the same when a woman says all the good men are already taken. They're out there.


The irony of posting/reading this on a board for people who probably never leave the house is pretty thick. I know they're out there.. probably still living at home with a burly dad and fenced off yard. Modern day Rapunzel?


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## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

You might want to look for other qualities other than friendly or sexy.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

George McFly said:


> You might want to look for other qualities other than friendly or sexy.


Why, those are what I most value. I have a job, a decent degree. I can figure out my own car repairs, I'm pretty handy with a sewing machine even if I need to be. I can even cook.


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## Waifu (Jul 21, 2014)

knightofdespair said:


> Why, those are what I most value.* I have a job,* a decent degree. I can figure out my own car repairs, I'm pretty handy with a sewing machine even if I need to be. I can even cook.


But not a good enough job to support children :no


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Waifu said:


> But not a good enough job to support children :no


About as good as my sister's husband that has 5, but I prefer to not have a church or family have to bail me out as much. Its not so much I couldn't find a way to make it work, its more that if I'm going to be paying a quarter million a pop for kids I want them to be mine at least.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Callsign said:


> I am reminded of how I noticed a former acquaintance of mine had said that she was tired of the situation and wanted it to end, in the end. Her husband had been terminal for a bit. I found it strange, and on thinking about it I supposed it was some sort of emotional burnout. A desensitisation to his suffering due to stress? But I also assume of course that this was not a reflection of the entirety of her thoughts on the matter, only some of her feelings.


Yeah that is normal and it happens a lot of the time. People on the outside don't see the whole picture, or usually what it was before they got sick either. Burnout is very common, I've gone about oh.. 8 months now without getting a good night's sleep.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Finally got a little sleep.. Until 'Stompy' the fat **** above me in my new apartment woke me up. I guess this whole post stems from 2 years of being unfulfilled and alone while not really technically alone, but I feel more and more alone and a sense of doom about finding anybody who can remotely fill the void in my life that my fiancée has left. She was quite a lovely woman inside and out and I like to think I'm not too terrible of a catch myself but I have pretty bad SA and I'm never going to just put myself out there and make a fool of myself for some random woman I don't know. With the demands of work and family there are not that many opportunities to really meet anybody anyway, and I come from a religious background so there is this whole "God is dragging me kicking and screaming somewhere else" aspect to it all.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

knightofdespair said:


> Finally got a little sleep..  Until 'Stompy' the fat **** above me in my new apartment woke me up.


I also have a stompy, though i use a more colorful french expression i wont mention here. She lives on the same floor and still manages to wake up the whole building. Worst is, she's like 100 pounds...way too small to walk so heavy. She also happens to be a door slammer...

I complained to the land lady so hopefully that leads somewhere. I sure as hell don't want to move again anytime soon. If that doesn't work then retaliation will begin. Lets see how she feels at 3 am when i slam a sub woofer on her wall and blast screamo music.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Scrub-Zero said:


> I also have a stompy, though i use a more colorful french expression i wont mention here. She lives on the same floor and still manages to wake up the whole building. Worst is, she's like 100 pounds...way too small to walk so heavy. She also happens to be a door slammer...
> 
> I complained to the land lady so hopefully that leads somewhere. I sure as hell don't want to move again anytime soon. If that doesn't work then retaliation will begin. Lets see how she feels at 3 am when i slam a sub woofer on her wall and blast screamo music.


I think half of the time its because they wear shoes indoors.. I think its kind of low class to wear heavy shoes around in an apartment.. tracks dirt all over and it really makes a lot of noise below. Some people just walk heavy like they weigh 3x as much as they do. I try to be sneaky, I don't want them to know if I'm ever home or not.


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## absreim (Jun 19, 2012)

What often ends up happening to all the girls who are taken in their early 20s is that they spend their 20s trying to find a guy who is willing to commit to them, and after going through multiple guys she is unable to find that. Before she knows it, she is 30 and on a race against her biological clock, and getting a date isn't quite as easy as before due to her age. I read an article that found that while guys are less picky as to who they are willing to date, marriage is a different story.

Given that there are roughly even numbers of men and women in the world and women have a relatively easy time in their 20s, it all has to balance out somewhere. You can see the result by going to singles events where the vast majority of people in the 30+ range are women.



Scrub-Zero said:


> I also have a stompy, though i use a more colorful french expression i wont mention here. She lives on the same floor and still manages to wake up the whole building. Worst is, she's like 100 pounds...way too small to walk so heavy. She also happens to be a door slammer...
> 
> I complained to the land lady so hopefully that leads somewhere. I sure as hell don't want to move again anytime soon. If that doesn't work then retaliation will begin. Lets see how she feels at 3 am when i slam a sub woofer on her wall and blast screamo music.


Did you try talking to the "stompy" first? It can be quite offensive to go straight to a different authority (the landlady) without giving her a chance to hear out your concerns. I hope it doesn't end up making things worse.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

knightofdespair said:


> I think half of the time its because they wear shoes indoors.. I think its kind of low class to wear heavy shoes around in an apartment.. tracks dirt all over and it really makes a lot of noise below. Some people just walk heavy like they weigh 3x as much as they do. I try to be sneaky, I don't want them to know if I'm ever home or not.


She's definitely one of those 3x girls lol. My God. It's especially bad in the morning when she has to go work. I get it, people have to live too, but there's no 6 inch of concrete separating us, so some respect is required from everyone.



absreim said:


> Did you try talking to the "stompy" first? It can be quite offensive to go straight to a different authority (the landlady) without giving her a chance to hear out your concerns. I hope it doesn't end up making things worse.


Well, the land lady told me she had a few noise complaints so she will send everyone in the building a message to tone it down. I've been meaning to talk to the neighbor in question. But you know, SA and all, and i'm pretty much on sub-human mode these days so my appearance is a bit scary lol.
I guess i will try when i see her face to face.

Hopefully it will get resolved. My guess is she doesn't even know she's making any noise.

*Edit: *Sorry for derailing the thread...


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Scrub-Zero said:


> Well, the land lady told me she had a few noise complaints so she will send everyone in the building a message to tone it down. I've been meaning to talk to the neighbor in question. But you know, SA and all, and i'm pretty much on sub-human mode these days so my appearance is a bit scary lol.
> I guess i will try when i see her face to face.
> 
> Hopefully it will get resolved. My guess is she doesn't even know she's making any noise.
> ...


My guess is she does... I've had a crazy schizophrenic neighbor actually just around the corner about 8 years ago and the dumb ****er spent all day every day doing as much as he could to be noisy, and also vandalize everything, and waste the fire department's time pushing the fire button in the elevators, and bringing a bunch of drug dealers over to hang out. Imho most of the time the noisy *******s know damn well they are being noisy, they just don't care.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

arnie said:


> Your fiancee is dying and all you can think about is the lack of single women you want to date? :con


Agreed.


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## Jade18 (Mar 6, 2011)

absreim said:


> What often ends up happening to all the girls who are taken in their early 20s is that they spend their 20s trying to find a guy who is willing to commit to them, and after going through multiple guys she is unable to find that. Before she knows it, she is 30 and on a race against her biological clock, and getting a date isn't quite as easy as before due to her age. I read an article that found that while guys are less picky as to who they are willing to date, marriage is a different story.
> 
> Given that there are roughly even numbers of men and women in the world and women have a relatively easy time in their 20s, it all has to balance out somewhere. You can see the result by going to singles events where the vast majority of people in the 30+ range are women.
> 
> Did you try talking to the "stompy" first? It can be quite offensive to go straight to a different authority (the landlady) without giving her a chance to hear out your concerns. I hope it doesn't end up making things worse.


Lol a race against her biological clock haha xD
meh im 21 almost no men or women around my age want to settle down
they all too busy partying and being stupid
and the men who are willing to are in their 30s and rarely attractive
however i dont think its really anything to do with they are 30+
I think most people agree 30s Is still fairly young and till 35 with a normal fertility it shouldnt even be hard to conceive
my grandmother had her last baby at 45 :um
but more to do with that they are not attractive or have a unpleasent personality or have mental issues,


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## razzleDazzle2150 (Sep 27, 2014)

Get a foreign chick. They'll live to please you. Plus, they're not as entitled as most American girls.


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## absreim (Jun 19, 2012)

Jade18 said:


> my grandmother had her last baby at 45 :um


While that has happened, it is exception rather than the rule. I don't recommend tempting fate by waiting until then. While I'm no expert on the matter, I've read that the chances of conceiving at that age are not good and may carry additional risks.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

razzleDazzle2150 said:


> Get a foreign chick. They'll live to please you. Plus, they're not as entitled as most American girls.


There aren't a lot of foreign women around here for one thing, although I wouldn't necessarily rule it out. Mostly the type of woman I like is attractive, but also has to have a sense of humor, and not take life too seriously.. I like the woman who likes South Park or Family Guy, or who can laugh at the bad jokes on Tosh.0 or Louis CK... I think really what it comes down to is I had and am losing someone who was a pretty good compliment to my personality and it is hard to have that support and lose it so quickly, and then be facing life and wondering if you will ever find that again. My first instinct is to just give up, and fighting that requires me to consider what I have to really live for - I don't think I can manage it alone for another 40 years. Finding a 2 month **** buddy is not going to fill the hole in my heart, I need to find someone who is actually a 3 dimensional compliment to me which is a pretty complex thing to hope for...


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

eveningbat said:


> And I sometimes feel like all good men are taken.


They're not because they never existed.


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## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

visualkeirockstar said:


> They're not because they never existed.


I think there is but we cant talk to them


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

visualkeirockstar said:


> They're not because they never existed.


Why so bad?


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

^^ no not all nobody took eveningbat yet, silly ukraine men...:no


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

blue2 said:


> ^^ no not all nobody took eveningbat yet, silly ukraine men...:no


Or did they..


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

Guys, you secretly talk about me and I don't even suspect it. :um


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

eveningbat said:


> Guys, you secretly talk about me and I don't even suspect it. :um


I think Calichick gave up on us.. Someone has to tell us poor guys what to do  Ukraine is kind of far though.


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

knightofdespair said:


> I think Calichick gave up on us.. Someone has to tell us poor guys what to do  Ukraine is kind of far though.


I don't know I found Calichick mostly annoying anyway, Ukraine is only a 37hr drive for me...:yes


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

blue2 said:


> I don't know I found Calichick mostly annoying anyway, Ukraine is only a 37hr drive for me...:yes


Well there you go, a match made in heaven!


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

knightofdespair said:


> Well there you go, a match made in heaven!


How do you figure that shes not gonna like my ugly Irish a**....:teeth..she probably does have standards...:hide


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

blue2 said:


> How do you figure that shes not gonna like my ugly Irish a**....:teeth..she probably does have standards...:hide


Lol.. Well I tried.. Maybe she likes those, I got a coworker who actually cat calls Gingers.. I keep telling her they have no souls like south park says but she won't listen.


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

knightofdespair said:


> Lol.. Well I tried.. Maybe she likes those, I got a coworker who actually cat calls Gingers.. I keep telling her they have no souls like south park says but she won't listen.


nah your right I'm not actually that ugly ....I just say that ...:teeth...cause i don't want to be drowned by groupies...


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## Hikikomori2014 (Sep 8, 2014)

:tiptoe



Dre12 said:


> Quite a tasteless thread considering that your finance is still on her deathbed?!?!


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

blue2 said:


> nah your right I'm not actually that ugly ....I just say that ...:teeth...cause i don't want to be drowned by groupies...


Lol


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Hikikomori2014 said:


> :tiptoe


Probably, she's been dying almost 2 years though. Lot of stuff to work through.


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

knightofdespair said:


> Probably, she's been dying almost 2 years though. Lot of stuff to work through.


Whats wrong with her...?


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

blue2 said:


> Whats wrong with her...?


GBM, grade 4. They did surgery last year, and chemo and radiation.. She didn't really make any lifestyle changes and it came back with a vengeance about 4 months ago. She has maybe a few weeks to a month or so left, hard to say since it doesn't really grow, spread, or kill you the same as other types of cancers do. But basically the lovely, talented, and sexy woman she used to be was gone once they did the surgery.. I still love her but she's basically been a stranger to me since then, and its been a daily struggle to keep on doing normal crap while she fades day by day. She was a core part of who I have been and I really don't think I'll make it even a year or two solo, much less the 40-50 I was hoping to spend with her. Some people thrive on their own, I probably COULD manage to live, but without purpose it just seems like such a waste of time.


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## Hikikomori2014 (Sep 8, 2014)

Well I wish you the best emotionally.
I can't imagine how stressful things are 4 u right now



knightofdespair said:


> Probably, she's been dying almost 2 years though. Lot of stuff to work through.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Hikikomori2014 said:


> Well I wish you the best emotionally.
> I can't imagine how stressful things are 4 u right now


It varies a lot. I've had some time to cope with the raw shock of it, now it is transitioning more to depression, and loneliness, and once she dies I'm sure it will be even worse. Even with her as sick as she is I still get some small measure of comfort going around every day or two, its when I get to my apartment and nothing to do and bored out of my mind that it becomes debilitating.


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## Handsome Beast (Jan 3, 2014)

Reading this makes me both sad and in a way selfish. Lots of us on here ***** and moan about being lonely and how we've never found anyone. Then I see this and what I'm going through seems petty. 

I feel for you and give my condolences and hope you make it through this trial.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Handsome Beast said:


> Reading this makes me both sad and in a way selfish. Lots of us on here ***** and moan about being lonely and how we've never found anyone. Then I see this and what I'm going through seems petty.
> 
> I feel for you and give my condolences and hope you make it through this trial.


Yeah I find reading too much on here brings me down too.. I am actually kind of a weird blend of SA and everything else.. Its just bad enough to hold me back on the fringe of a lot of things. I'm not too bad looking, I'm tall, I come from a good middle class background, I am good at figuring things out, I have a good driving record - I just don't like strangers. I'm probably closer to achieving my goals than 90% of people who never found anybody, but that doesn't mean that other 10% is any easier for me than it is for them... So many times I've been cussing on the floor about why the hell it has to be so hard to talk to people, apply for jobs, etc. but somehow I usually end up fighting through the blocks and making it work - even though it takes tremendous effort that I don't think most people struggle with. That is kind of the point of this thread I guess.. I have actually found someone way better than I thought I ever could, and having tasted that once its almost crippling to think of living another 40 years without it... I am not outgoing at all and finding anybody even remotely similar just doesn't seem likely to happen. It seems like 3/4 of the people who never found anybody are still pretty young, and I was in that boat myself at that age so I know how they feel, but I do think the older you get there are just fewer and fewer good matches without going way younger which gets kind of creepy at some point... I know there are probably plenty of beautiful women my age out there somewhere, but most likely if they made it this long without being married or having 5 kids they are probably just as isolated as I am and I really don't see how I would ever meet them anyway.


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## funnynihilist (Jul 29, 2014)

In my area it seems that **everybody** is taken.


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

knightofdespair said:


> I think Calichick gave up on us.. Someone has to tell us poor guys what to do  Ukraine is kind of far though.


I guess it is too far because the guy from the USA I was kind of interested in decided to leave me. OK, no matter. I am alone, as usual.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

eveningbat said:


> I guess it is too far because the guy from the USA I was kind of interested in decided to leave me. OK, no matter. I am alone, as usual.


Probably has more to do with distance and the logistics of it all? Are you stuck there or willing to move, or pretty established there? Its definitely an interesting area from what I've read about the people and last 20-30 years of history and culture, but seems kind of dangerous for most Americans.


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

knightofdespair said:


> Probably has more to do with distance and the logistics of it all? Are you stuck there or willing to move, or pretty established there? Its definitely an interesting area from what I've read about the people and last 20-30 years of history and culture, but seems kind of dangerous for most Americans.


I would want to move into some good English speaking country. But it seems completely impossible.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

eveningbat said:


> I would want to move into some good English speaking country. But it seems completely impossible.


Me too


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## Calsad (Jun 21, 2014)

I'm sorry but I'm early 30s and single because I haven't met the right one. There's nothing wrong with me other than I'm independant and have high standards. 
I'm shocked you would talk about finding someone new when your partner is dying it cones across as cold and heartless


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Calsad said:


> I'm sorry but I'm early 30s and single because I haven't met the right one. There's nothing wrong with me other than I'm independant and have high standards.
> I'm shocked you would talk about finding someone new when your partner is dying it cones across as cold and heartless


I see how it would look that way. I loved my fiancée immensely, but she hasn't been herself for a long time. Nothing will ever replace her, but I also find myself at a weird isolation for the first time in 12 years and looking around at the people around here it feels permanent. Part loneliness, part depression, part anxiety I just don't see it changing and it is a very discouraging thing to deal with. I do have high standards as well, I'm not looking for just anybody - she certainly wasn't just an anybody. Its hard to describe the pain for someone who hasn't been in a fairly good relationship for a long time to suddenly be all alone and starting over from scratch.. It definitely sucks to not experience a good relationship and I have felt that pain too prior to meeting her, but after knowing what it can do and then losing it, living solo for 40 years seems like a death sentence.


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

eveningbat said:


> I guess it is too far because the guy from the USA I was kind of interested in decided to leave me. OK, no matter. I am alone, as usual.


Sorry to hear that. He's missing out on a good person.


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

Darktower776 said:


> Sorry to hear that. He's missing out on a good person.


Thanks  :rub


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