# Lonely at work, don't fit in



## littlemacintosh (Jan 8, 2015)

This is the fifth month I have been at my new job and social anxiety has made me suffer in every way at work. The other people who have joined the company in the same period have their own friendship group/ clique. Whilst I have none and I do lunch alone - go to the shop alone, struggle to find it comfortable to join others at the lunch table as I appear to be a tag along. I feel judged so I don't say much therefore I think I am very hard to talk to.

I don't fit in and each day I feel horrible


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## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

yah same here, and I work w/ all females...

I kinda suck at my job, doesn't help my cousin is applying and is good at it(meaning he'll outshine me -__- ) 

well it is abit beneficial to me, b/c he can help me out and whatnot..

but its gonna be so embarassing to have him outshine me...

sometimes i wanna die lol 


I lead an embarassing life x S


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## JamesM2 (Aug 29, 2012)

I don't fit in at my job either. Explains why I'm currently spending my lunch break in my car browsing this forum. I hate having to get up every day to spend all day surrounded by people I don't fit in with. Such a depressing existence.


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## tooljunkie (May 31, 2014)

Most people are so self centered and really don't care what's going on with the next guy. Still, that feeling is hard to ignore. I find myself feeling that way too until I look around and realize that no one is focused on me. 
Our awkwardness from having social anxiety and our sometimes unapproachable body language that we may not be aware of keeps us on the outside of social groups.


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## bubbles81 (Jan 9, 2015)

I have felt like this in almost every workplace


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## chessman6500 (Sep 5, 2013)

Same here no one to talk to about it, no support. I have a hard time communicating with others at work and am sick of it. I just hate that feeling and if u need to talk to someone you can pm me and we can discuss it.


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## jlscho03 (Sep 5, 2012)

Same here. I used to speak to some people, though, but I haven't lately.

I just eat my lunch by myself and conk out on the table. We have a nap room, but I'm afraid I won't wake to go back to work, so I just sprawl out in the cafeteria. People must think I'm depressed, but I'm actually good. I do this when I'm not tired, too. Otherwise I'd have nothing to do.

Everyone already has their groups - I almost managed to get into one, but they were on a different shift, and I haven't seen them in a while.


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## Gully (Jan 11, 2015)

*Hi*

I was just browsing the forums and read your post and couldn't leave without saying something. I feel your pain, I used to have similar experiences daily throughout school, and at my job, it was ****ing aweful.

The worst part was that I was too embarrassed to say anything to my councellors, phycyiatrists etc. Hell I don't think there was such a thing as S.A.D. all those years ago.

Anyways, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and because I had to research and "do it myself" I can offer up 2 books that were a huge help and a cognitive behavoir therapy* that I got from Toast Masters.

Nathaneil Brandon - The Six pillars of Self-Esteem
Anger is a Choice - Tim F. LaHaye, Bob Phillips
http://www.toastmasters.org/

Toast Masters is a public speech training group, it's low cost and man o man, after forcing myself through a few of those sessions it really really helped me.

I believe low self-esteem is at the route of S.A.D., Natheneil Brandon's book helped me build my self-esteem way way up, without this book I wouldn't be the person I am today.

I used to be so paralyzed by social anxiety I wouldn't leave the house, even if it meant eating peanut butter and water for a few days, just so I didnt' have to go to the store. I would avoid family dinners and get-to-gethers etc. Everything.

I put the anger is choice up there as well, because I used to get pissed at everything.

I'm currently revisiting nathaniels book today, that's how I ended up here. I need to revisit my self esteem and brush up on building it.

I wish you the best, and please take charge of your life, and get off your *** and get these books if you can improve in any of these area's.

Peace


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## yellowpages (May 16, 2012)

Same here. I never talk to anyone at work, and I always eat by myself during breaks, usually with a magazine to read or something. I'm pretty much a total loner.


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## Hayman (Dec 27, 2014)

I don't really fit in to where I work and I've been there for over four years. I work in an office with six females and only one other male. The male isn't too bad but the women are just two-faced backstabbers. All of them. 

I've never been part of anyone's 'clique' there. They all have each other's mobile phone numbers, all friends on Facebook and whatever other social media, but absolutely no one else wants any details I have. I had them as friends on Facebook (only because I sent them requests - not the other way around), but none of them ever interacted with me during the time I had my account open. They all chatted to one another on it - not me, though. 

Whilst I've attended several works' parties with them, I'm always left in the corner and ignored. I'm the ultimate 'spare part'. Yet as soon as I make a move to leave when I've had enough, a couple of them suddenly want to know where I’m going and asking why I can't stay longer... No thanks. Too late. I've just sat there and not been approached or talked to for almost two hours... I'm going home where I can at least be productive in some way...

In the office, I feel as if I'm simply there to be the butt of all jokes and insults as they know I won't argue back. It's just not me to be confrontational. If anything ever goes wrong, my name is always in the equation somewhere. I'm truly sick of it...

I wish I could just leave but then my SA would kick off even more so at the prospect of another new job with another group of people I don't want to socialise with. It's a 'catch 22' situation...


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