# Does counceling actually help and how?



## ThirdEyeGrind (Feb 7, 2006)

Does meeting with a councelor actually help or not. I did it like for 2 sessions and the dude pretty much told me that I wasn't letting him in, thats the whole reason I'm going in the first place. He wanted me to tell him my favorite song lyric and i straight up couldn't. I just couldn't do it.


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## Tigerlily (Dec 8, 2006)

My counselor says I'm too "severe" for it to work.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

CBT helps with SA, but just plain talking doesnt.


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## ThirdEyeGrind (Feb 7, 2006)

Noca said:


> CBT helps with SA, but just plain talking doesnt.


What is CBT?


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## D.B. Cooper (Jul 21, 2006)

My doctors nurses mantra is "counseling and medication is twice as successful as either alone" and he reminds me every time i see him. Im finally going to counseling though.

Im not sure what study he got that from but it sounds right.


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## D.B. Cooper (Jul 21, 2006)

AprilEthereal said:


> What is CBT?


Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, it teaches you coping skills to deal with anxiety and what triggers your anxiety. But really with anxiety even talking to someone may help a bit.


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## ThirdEyeGrind (Feb 7, 2006)

D.B. Cooper said:


> AprilEthereal said:
> 
> 
> > What is CBT?
> ...


Ok, thanks, dude your avatar is awesome. I don't know why.


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## KimberlyK (Nov 11, 2004)

I think my psychologist is great but it still took me way more than two sessions to open up. She never asked about my favorite things, she asked about my life and experiences. 

I really don't think counseling can cure SA but it does help to have someone to talk about things and to get a different perspective.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

Exposure therapy is also a part of most CBT therapies. In my opinion exposure therapy is the most effective therapy for SA.


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## Tigerlily (Dec 8, 2006)

I like my counseling because it's the only time I get to talk to someone face-to-face. She's the only person I get to have a conversation with for weeks.


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## mayblue (Oct 1, 2005)

Couseling didn't help me at all.


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## Driftfisher (Dec 6, 2006)

Counseling can definitely help (especially in conjunction with the right meds.) However, unfortunately many people get connected to a bad therapist...give it one shot then decide it does not work...

Please keep in mind when deciding whether to pursue counseling or not, that *ALMOST ANYONE* can stick it out and make it through school and get some initials behind their name, and go to work as a counselor. Obviously, socioeconomic status has a lot to do with it as well. If you are able to pay privately, or have insurance that cover therapy sessions, you have a much higher chance to hook up with a good therapist. I have worked with many good therapists that accept Medicaid or work on a sliding scale, but it does limit your choices.

I work in conjunction with therapists on a daily basis. If I had to generalize, which I do not like to do, I would say that good therapists...really good therapists are about only 10% (if not less) of the people I come in contact with. I have seen therapist do some wonderful work with some very damaged kids. However, the converse is also true. Many therapists do not make a positive difference at all...

I guess what I am trying to say is that please do not give up on finding a good therapist. They are out there and they can help. In my profession I can honestly say that I have not met anyone who was "too far gone" to benefit from counseling, meds etc. You just have to put yourself in the right situation...

Good luck! SA is a rough thing to deal with as you all know, but even though at times it may seem like the end of the world, it is not! You must continue to push yourself, seek help on different levels, and not allow it to bind you. Will SA change your life? Of course it will. If it doesn't you probably do not have it. You just need to alter how, when, where, and what you do, in order to really live life. SAS seems like a great place to get some good ideas and connect with others that deal with the same things you do on a daily basis. Half the battle is knowing that you are not alone!


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## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

I haven't noticed any benefit.


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## Becky (Nov 5, 2003)

I saw a couple different psychologists, they weren't all that helpful. I still think it's worth it to try though because you never know if that might be just what you need


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

psychodynamic therapy helps with depression


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## MMS (Dec 4, 2006)

I think therapy can work if you can find someone that specializes in anxiety, is intelligent and that you feel comfortable with. Also I think it's important when you first start out to set up a plan with the therapist. IMHO talk therapy does not work for SA because you are just going over things that happened in the past and it's not useful for getting better if anything I think it can make things worse.

When I went to a therapist a few years ago we sat down and set up a plan and we were working towards certain goals. I started with what was least anxiety provoking and working my way up. 

If you don't feel comfortable with your therapist or don't think they are qualified to treat SA then definitely don't waste your time and find someone else. I have been to a few therapists for different things (depression, marriage counselor and for SA). Like one of the PP said most of them are not very good. One of the counselors I saw for over a year for depression didn't even realize that I had SA or even anxiety.

M~


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## Boogie (Mar 10, 2006)

My counsellor really helped me. Shes an Occupational therapist and Ive been seeing her fortnightly for about 5 months.
After our first session I left there feeling like I was born again. Everything and everyone looked different to me. I was looking at the world through new eyes. And she continues to guide me.
Personally I think it doesnt just depend on the counselling itself. A lot of it has to do with you too. My counsellor would say some things and it would make things click for me. 
My counsellor gave me some strategies and techniques. And she was especially helpful because she taught me how to challege some of my thoughts that caused me depression and anxiety. She showed me how distorted my thinking was and how to change it. 
I learned a lot about my thoughts and beliefs that cause me problems. And now I am trying to manage them.
Im glad that I have that support. Someone to talk to and someone who will help.


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## guitarik (Apr 18, 2006)

The guy I went to started every session with "What do you want to talk about?", told me to get a book called "Extreme Catastrope Living", made me do all the talking, just stared and smiled when I ran out of things to talk about, then just gave me his views on politics,and told me to feel sorry for people that would irritate me or treat me bad. Complete waste of money for me. I asked if he used CBT therapy,he said no, he had his own method for anxiety disorders.


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

Tigerlily said:


> I like my counseling because it's the only time I get to talk to someone face-to-face. She's the only person I get to have a conversation with for weeks.


same here....... :hug


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## Solatil (Nov 17, 2006)

Counseling can really help, provided that you find a competent counselor or therapist and you open up and talk about your problems.

Admittedly, not all counselors are good enough to help you. However, consider the alternatives: some girl feels worthless and wants to end the pain but doesn't talk to anyone. A counselor could prevent a suicide and provide resources to get the girl on track. People that have gone through serious trauma need professional care, like a licensed therapist or psychologist to work through problems. 

Counselors can help by finding the source of problems and recommending solutions. If you find a good counselor, keep an open mind (not be skeptical) and follow the counselor's advice, I'd bet you'd be better off. 

One important thing you should remember is that a counselor that goes easy on you, doesn't really push you to make changes is NOT good. You are not going to a counselor to make friends, a good counselor should find your comfort zone and make you move to a healthier one, then push you to make changes which are healthier but often very uncomfortable. I hear a lot of complaints that people don't want to make the changes and stop going to that counselor because he or she disagrees and then dismiss the whole thing as "ineffective".


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## powerman (Nov 12, 2003)

I think counseling can make you feel better right there and then. But once you walk out the door, its back to the way things were before. I've never sat down and had a therapy session, but I can only imagine thats how it goes. I personally think you can get more out of reading a book that teaches your how to understand yourself and deal with certain issues.


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## tuna (Jun 25, 2006)

All CBT means is that you relearn how to think, perceive, act, and feel in a rational, positive manner by changing your thoughts and behavior. It is a very basic and general term that is used to treat all kinds of different problems such as depression, anxiety disorders, and even with anger problems. The problem that occurs with this is that therapists usually use a one-size-fits-all CBT approach to all these different disorders. Why would they use the *exact same* approach to treat *different* problems? That just doesn't make any sense!

This is why when people with SA reach out for help and pursue a CBT program, they usually report back feeling even more defeated and hopeless than ever before because it hasn't helped them despite all the studies and research that tells them they should feel otherwise. *The problem was that the CBT was not tailored for social anxiety.* Instead it was just a generic CBT that was not specified for any particular disorder. CBT does work tremendously for social anxiety but you need to find one that is made specifically for social anxiety. Unfortunately, most therapists are pretty clueless about social anxiety and how to treat it. Thus, the lack of effective CBT programs for social anxiety. When you find a good CBT program, you will notice changes very quickly, in a matter of a few sessions.

A CBT program for social anxiety teaches you how to get rid of your negative thoughts for more rational ones with specific techniques to help you such as distractions. It also teaches you different techniques and methods to FEEL more relaxed and calm. Not just one method but several. It helps you to identify all the different forms of negative thoughts you have so you can get rid of them, how to redirect your focus, and explains why you need to do certain things so you can accomplish your goal. It focuses on specific SA related thoughts and behaviors and tells you what to do to overcome it with several different methods and techniques. The key is that they show you lots of different techniques, not just one or two. Just telling you to listen to a relaxation tape is not going to cut it. If all a therapist does for your social anxiety is work on changing your thoughts and doing exposures slowly *without* giving you lots of specific tools to help you relax in the situations, how to deal with anticipatory anxiety, and how to change your thoughts, then they are just using a generic form of CBT that doesn't address the social anxiety specifically.

We also need to participate in a group CBT program for social anxiety. That way you can practice talking with others, in groups, and in front of people in a *controlled* environment.



> One important thing you should remember is that a counselor that goes easy on you, doesn't really push you to make changes is NOT good. You are not going to a counselor to make friends, a good counselor should find your comfort zone and make you move to a healthier one, then push you to make changes which are healthier but often very uncomfortable. I hear a lot of complaints that people don't want to make the changes and stop going to that counselor because he or she disagrees and then dismiss the whole thing as "ineffective".


I disagree with you somewhat. Yes the therapist is not there to be your friend but they should never push your or pressure you into doing anything. People with SA need to STOP pressuring themselves because that pressure just makes their anxiety worse. It's the therapist's responsibility to create a safe environment and to have the knowledge, techniques, methods, strategies, and capability to execute the therapy in a way that helps the patient relax and feel more confident. If a patient finds a qualified therapist like this, they will be encouraged and motivated on their own to reach out and try more things. The patient has to choose to move up on their own terms, not the therapist. Surprisingly though, with the right therapist and program, patients move up their hierarchy list very rapidly.


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## emeraldoceans (Sep 13, 2006)

Noca said:


> CBT helps with SA, but just plain talking doesnt.


 :agree


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## PaddyMally (Nov 6, 2006)

There are many things that are positive about seeing a therapist. First and foremost, it's admiting you need help. That's a big step of the process.

Anxiety is a psychiatric disorder. Sooner or later it should be dealt with by a professional. If you don't click with the therapist you are seeing, tell them and tell them why. You can leave at anytime and see someone else. You are in therapy to face this, after all. 

So many people have this disorder and do nothing about it. I'm not saying that pychology is the only way to deal with it, but it is probalby the most effective. Coming to a forum such as this can be a huge help but there are going to be some who come here and simply drop anchor and never go beyond a bulletin board. This is a huge help but it is not a subsitute for an in the flesh relationship. 
When you have a cold you see a doctor. Some doctors are better than others. Find one that works for you. And never, never give up on yourself.


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