# Summer Goals, summer Gone



## Shygirl427 (May 25, 2008)

LONG POST: YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!
Well, I'm finally out for the summer! Yay! But for me it has always worked like this during my semester in school i devote all my time and energy into school work and watch tv during my free time. Then, during the summer I set goals for myself. Being able to accomplish some of them and continue those goals during winter break or next summer. Well, for awhile I thought this was a good plan. But now I am seeing that all I've been doing is holding off my growth and my life for a long period of time. and putting pressure on myself to accomplish major life goals for a total of two months. I never had a job, and as part of my goals from last summer I got my license but haven't driven in so long. I catch the bus to school and my father drives my car to work so its really hard to get around to becoming a real licsensed driver who drives. Anyway, I haven't been able to go to work and school because i have no transportation and I'm worried that I will not do as well in school. I'm already stressed from school alone.
Last Saturday was my Birthday, and I have to say although I loved spending time with my family. It made me realize how little I have come in my life. I was suppose to graduate but that's being held for another year. So its hard to see my peers literally move on and feeling like there's another level I'm not going to be able to reach. I don't know what to do. Apart of me wants to really try and do all these things. but apart of me feels that I need to take it slow and ease my way into it. i don't want to put so much pressure on myself just to live like other people. Its just that I feel like I've been in this place for too long. 
Also I feel like I'm mentally detroying myself. All I think about all day is ways to improve myself. The things that people have said to me. Like, "I think a job will be good for you" (duh), "Why don't you try to make friends" ( yeah, ok), "try to Talk more", "Maybe you can dress up alittle bit". I feel like if I can accomplish these things that I can get these people off my back and just simply live. I've never really just lived before, my life has been one goal after another. These thought including my own, I fear is really messing me up pyschologically. I just want to simply do these things without stressing over doing it. You know?

So I've been thinking of posting here for quite some time. I need to exhaust every option available to me. So I thought I should get some advice from you guys. How can I ease my self into these goals without letting them consume me? I feel like this is it my time is almost up to make real changes. I'm 22 and my life has already been wasted. I want you guys to help me sort these goals out? offer some advice.

Here are my goals:

Get a job. Maybe Work at a resturant this will force me out of my comfort zone but I feel this is a make or break goal. I could drop plates, be afraid to take orders, etc.

Get a new hairstyle. This will force me and others to see me in a different light and help to develop much needed confidence.

Look for an internship. Very difficult one because I'm not sure where to start or where to even look.

Drive on my own. Never driven on my own before my dad from time to time will have me drive to school and back. That's about it. Its my car but he drives it to work so I really feel bad about saying I want to start driving it now. I want to just do it and drive on my own. But I have little to no experience and If I just decide to drive on my own I may do something wrong like run a red light like l've done in the past with my dad in the car.
Its super hard to do these goals as well because my family is so use to the way things are. Its almost an inconvience to them if I try to change. And they often although not on purpose put doubts into my head.I really need help, motivation, something or I'll be stuck here in this nonexistent life forever. This is it. 
If you have any advice,I am open to them. I've notice that although we all have SA to a degree. Most of you are still striving to live a better life. I think about it but haven't gotten around to actually doing that yet.


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## Arctor (Dec 19, 2009)

I would take the car out for a spin when your father is home, in the evening or on the weekends. Just drive to the mall or something. I know driving alone can be scary(I've spent a fair amount of time on getting my license ) but in my experience the only option is to drive as much as possible. After a while you learn to cope and become more relaxed  Overall I think the goals you've set for yourself are both realistic and important. Don't let your family get you down - I'm sure they want you to feel good about yourself. They might just be a bit to used to the status quo. The haircut and the driving don't depend on external factors(like the job market) so begin with getting a haircut and getting to drive a bit by yourself. After you've done that you'll already be on your way and then you can focus on getting a job/internship. Best of luck!


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## Shygirl427 (May 25, 2008)

Arctor said:


> I would take the car out for a spin when your father is home, in the evening or on the weekends. Just drive to the mall or something. I know driving alone can be scary(I've spent a fair amount of time on getting my license ) but in my experience the only option is to drive as much as possible. After a while you learn to cope and become more relaxed  Overall I think the goals you've set for yourself are both realistic and important. Don't let your family get you down - I'm sure they want you to feel good about yourself. They might just be a bit to used to the status quo. The haircut and the driving don't depend on external factors(like the job market) so begin with getting a haircut and getting to drive a bit by yourself. After you've done that you'll already be on your way and then you can focus on getting a job/internship. Best of luck!


Thanks so much for responding!  
I think ur right I just have to go for it and just start driving. I'm so afraid to drive alone. Never did it before. I'll just have to do it I guess. And I think you're right I should work on building my confidence first. Like, My appearance and things that will help me to take control of my life.


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## Arctor (Dec 19, 2009)

Emerald said:


> Thanks so much for responding!
> I think ur right I just have to go for it and just start driving. I'm so afraid to drive alone. Never did it before. I'll just have to do it I guess. And I think you're right I should work on building my confidence first. Like, My appearance and things that will help me to take control of my life.


No problem! 
The key in my opinion is to take it slow and to not rush in to situations that you feel you can't control. Start by driving close to your home were you know the roads and when there's less traffic, like in the evenings or weekend mornings. You probably know more than you think too - the most important thing I learned was to relax and trust myself. Good luck with your endeavors!


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## defoe (Jan 31, 2010)

my goals for this year:

-manage college
-stay in touch with my friends/ go to a few parties here and there
-go to the doctor...ive got really bad acne at the moment all over my face, so i need to go to the doctor and see if he can give any advice
-go to the barbers, and get a propper haircut
--->when i look better and are satisfied with my appearance i will gain more confidence, which will open doors for me to aim for further goals such as

-attending driving lessons (in december, when i turn 18 )

and if everythings works out well, even

-look for a relationship (gf)
_________________________
that will hopefully lead to a succesfull year 2011


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## Shygirl427 (May 25, 2008)

Thanks for sharing defoe, let us know how you are progressing with your goals...
well since my last post i guess i can add take a summer class to that list. As for my goal to drive on my own, i am still working on that, as I drove to and from school with my dad in the car. But by the end of the summer i hope to be driving by myself. i'm probably the only person in the world who has a car that she doesn't drive. As for the job prospects I've been doing some searching online. I found a new site, so I just have to keep up with doing that. Taking a summer class has really made me reluctant on getting a summer job. But in due time, I suppose. This quote really inspired me and hopefully it will inspire others: 

"A slow start is better than no start" 

If anyone wants to share their goals for the summer. Feel free. Having a place to post your goals increases the liklihood of completing those goals.


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