# More online friends than real life ones...?



## JohnStillBelieves (Jan 21, 2014)

Is anyone like me who have more online friends than real life ones? 
Can you share your experiences?
Thanks


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## scooby (Jun 24, 2009)

Yup, I am like that too. I actually have no real life friends. I had an online friend that turned into a real life one for a bit, but we haven't hung out for maybe 3 years and barely talk online. Not due to a fight or anything, just drifted apart, or rather he drifted away with his own life and circle of friends while mine stayed still.

I went on for a couple years without any type of friend until half way through last year when I just couldn't handle the isolation anymore and tried my hardest to make any sort of friends here on SAS.


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## freakamidget (Nov 25, 2013)

I've been like this for most of my life. It does suck because you have all these great friends that you can't visit or see. You're really close but you haven't met so it's really bizarre.

There is the question "can you be really friends with someone if they're online" and I think you can, and I think it's quite insulting to think you can't. Because you can form bonds online.

But nothing quite beats real life friendship and having someone you can physically see which is why I'm trying to get real life friends now.


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## mishima (Feb 3, 2014)

From around the age of 12 until I was 17 I had a bunch of online friends and only around 3 fake ones in real life who treated me like garbage. The internet was pretty much everything to me and I used to spend a lot of money on phone calls to different places across the country lol Online friends are the best because they stick around. They had never seen a single picture of me but still liked me, so I was satisfied. My parents were always complaining about how dangerous the whole situation was but I never cared much. I still talk to 3 online friends I met 7 years ago and I met one of them in person, so yes it's a nice experience.


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## Gizamalukeix (Sep 16, 2012)

The few friends I have are online. I don't think I want any that I'd have to see in person and even if I did I'd be far too anxious to talk or do stuff with them.


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## GrainneR (Feb 7, 2014)

I don't have any irl friends. Whilst I don't have any 'friends' on here yet (I sort of just post on the forums and whatnot), it's better than nothing. Like most days, I could count the numbers of words I've spoken aloud today on my fingers.


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## animefreak (Jun 4, 2013)

Oh yes, I used to have way more online friends. Those were the good old days.  The quality of friends I had online was tremendously better than most of what I had in real life. Of all the "irl" friends I've ever had my whole life, I can safely say I had three quality friends who truly cared about me. Everyone else was like... an angel and devil in one person. x_x Often we'd get along very well then the next minute they treat me like pure garbage. My online friends and I would spend _hours_ of our time talking each other through problems and it was the only place I really ever met people going though the same thing as me.

I guess it's because there's so much more diversity in meeting people online. You meet all sorts of people, whereas it feels like everyone around you IRL is... somewhat the same. But then again it does seem harder to get to know personalities IRL, so no wonder. That's just my speculation.

There is one person I met online, in real life. He is now my boyfriend today and we've been dating over three years. 

But now I have no friends whatsoever, online or IRL. Except for him. :lol


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## SoulGem (Feb 17, 2014)

I only have online friends now. I used to have only one "friend" when I was in school. 

Now I'm basically isolated from the outside world, and I've made quite a few good friends online and even online I've lost fake online friends. You are not alone.


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

No real life friends ever. Some online friends. But from my experience, sooner or later that will end too. Usually sooner.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

Yeah since I don't have real life friends. Haven't had any since I was 12.


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## RedNightSaint (Feb 12, 2014)

Haha I'm actually more well received by my online friends than my real life ones. In real life, some of the people I call "friends" sometimes just make fun of me or never hang out with me. There are some friends that treat me better but we hardly hang out and when we do we don't talk much so people always think I'm mysterious or weird. Only my most pronounced affections for certain subjects are known to most people. 
My online friends are different however. Sure sometimes we fight and we don't know much about each other but when we do talk about anything and everything, everyone is very open and well received. Hell there was a game where I haven't played for years but everyone still remembers me. They were all very excited to see me again and wanted to play some games with me. It felt pretty great. But it didn't last long because I have to leave the game behind or else I'd screw myself by addiction to the game. It's left at home in my desktop, while I go to college two hours away. Life sucks.


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

This was me through my early 20's and yes online friends are real friends. It's not the same as spending time in person with people though. You don't get the hugs or close personal contact that you need.


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## perennial wallflower (Feb 17, 2014)

That would be a relief. I can't really make friends online or off, though.


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## Raeden (Feb 8, 2013)

I _only_ have online friends. >.>


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

I don't have any real friends and probably just one online friend.


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## Mikebissle (Oct 24, 2011)

Never really real-life friends. There was a time when I had a ton of online friends, but now it's pretty much down to two people. Who ever heard of having trouble making friends online?


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## perennial wallflower (Feb 17, 2014)

Mikebissle said:


> Never really real-life friends. There was a time when I had a ton of online friends, but now it's pretty much down to two people. Who ever heard of having trouble making friends online?


You're not the only one. How people connect is a mystery to me even online.


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## Unable to change (Mar 5, 2012)

I only have online friends atm 3 or 4 i been friends with for 7 or 8 years. Through that time ours bonds grew and my anxiety around them vanished, can type what i want with them without fear of being judged cuz even if they did would laugh it off. Problem is now ive never really spoke with them giving the excuse i dont have a mic or whatever else i can think of. Ive told them about my SAD and how it effects me to a point. I really wanna just turn on the mic 1 day and say hello but then the anxiety takes over and i kill that thought. I know im making a big deal out of nothing and it sucks. I feel everyday now im getting closer and closer to doing it and that itself scares me lol.


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## Nathan18 (Sep 15, 2009)

I have quite a few friends online, but only 2 real one's in real life. There is no story, really. I started to isolate myself when I reached 15. I haven't made any new real friends since then. The friends I have made online are through gaming. They're really cool guys and I'll never find people like them in real life. I've had a lot of fun times on Skype, gaming and having a laugh. People that say you can't make real friends online are stupid. I've known the same group of guys for 5 years and still talk with them quite often. We know everything about each other. We just haven't met in real life.

If it wasn't for gaming, I doubt I would have made any friends online. Gaming with the same people all the time brings you together.



Unable to change said:


> I only have online friends atm 3 or 4 i been friends with for 7 or 8 years. Through that time ours bonds grew and my anxiety around them vanished, can type what i want with them without fear of being judged cuz even if they did would laugh it off. Problem is now ive never really spoke with them giving the excuse i dont have a mic or whatever else i can think of. Ive told them about my SAD and how it effects me to a point. I really wanna just turn on the mic 1 day and say hello but then the anxiety takes over and i kill that thought. I know im making a big deal out of nothing and it sucks. I feel everyday now im getting closer and closer to doing it and that itself scares me lol.


You should do it man. I had the same worries as you when I first started playing games online. I found some guys to game with and they wanted to begin talking on mic. I was afraid to do it at first, but I got over it. I've been doing it for years now and it's absolutely fine. It's not the same if you can't talk to them over mic. The best nights I had were when we were all talking over them.


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## seadevil (Mar 3, 2014)

I have plenty of online friends living in different countries all around of world. We share similar interests and traits of character, but I have never seen them in reality. Comparing this amount of friends with people I know in real life in my town is a bit sad, because I almost cannot lable anybody here as a friend. The problem with virtual pals is that there are only words, only text or Skype chats, so there are very few limited ways how to spend time together (and as a result of that many virtual friendships will just die, because they had explored all the full limited potential they had to offer). But still finding friends in internet is much more easier for me than in real life unfortunately. People in real life always seem to have different interests, completely busy time and you can't build a friendship alone.


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## ToastyBroseph (Feb 22, 2014)

Absolutely, some of my BEST friends I've met online (and our relationship's stayed the same; online). I still regularly hit it up on skype with the lot of them. Some of them have even talked me through some serious family stuff etc..

Generally though I have better online friends than irl friends because for the longest time they were my only friends.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

I have friends but its not like i hang out with them all the time. I don't have any online friends anymore. Can't keep up with them.


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## DeniseAfterAll (Jul 28, 2012)

Virtually everybody with a Facebook account has more online friends than real life ones .


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## sociallyanxious82 (Mar 7, 2014)

I haven't had any contact with real life friends since a few years after I finished high school. I was a military brat growing up, and moved 7 times so far in my 31 years. 

The main reason I'm posting here, is because I need some help with pain and grief I'm going through. I'm hoping some of you have experienced something like this, but I'm not counting on it.

I met one online friend when I was about 15/16 in a chat room for a band we both liked. We started talking and found we had things in common, so we started spending more time together playing games on yahoo and talking via instant messenger.

When we met, this person told me their name was Brian and that he was 16. This was fine for me, as I never had any boys show interest in me in school! and thought maybe this could lead somewhere.

Within the first 1 or 2 (my memory is slightly sketchy as this was 15 years ago), we developed feelings for each other, we were "in love", and everything was great. My parents (mainly my mother), knew most of the story, and though were wary, just told me to be careful. Brian sent me a few pictures through email, and he certainly looked like the typical 16 year old boy.

Then one day, Brian told me he was having some tests done, because his doctor thought he might have cancer. (There was pain, symptoms, etc. leading up to this, but like I said, my memory is sketchy). To make a long story short, he told me that he had cancer in the fluid around his knee, and to be safe, would have to amputate about his knee.

I was devastated, and scared, but I prayed everything would be fine. To make another long story short, the surgery went fine, and he was managing well. But then some time later, he found out the cancer had spread, and that it wasn't looking good. He ended up in the hospital.

After a few weeks, I woke up one morning to an email from his father saying that bahri an had died. Naturally, I was again devastated, heartbroken, lost, and didn't know what to do. I thanked his dad for letting me know, and then proceeded to try to get through horrible grief.

A week later, Brian messages me on IM, and I just stared at the screen. He had lied. About everything. "Brian" turned out to be a 13 year old girl, who believed since she was a child that she's transgender. I didn't know what to think. I told her I needed time and logged off the computer and went straight to my mother! bawling my eyes out.

Somehow, I forgave her (I'll name her Kelly for privacy sake). I trusted her that she was transgender, and I trusted her reasoning for lying "I thought it would be less painful for you". My mother was still angry, but she saw that I was happy and tried to forgive Kelly in her own way. Kelly and I had issues with the whole "in love" part, I obviously had felt I was in love with a person that no longer existed. She claimed to still be in love with me. I told her that I was straight, and that as the pain healed, I might learn to love her as a friend! but nothing more. She accepted that,even though she would tell me often how it hurt.

Throughout the years we played games online, had a role playing thing we'd do via instant messenger, or just simply talk about common interests. She had a lot of hard times with depression and suicidal thoughts, and I was always there to help her through it.

Skip ahead 15 years, to be specific, about October of last year. My depression kicked in majorly, and I was no longer spending time on the computer, so we talked mainly through iPhone/iPad. As the weeks went by, I noticed she seemed to be talking to me less and less.

Around the beginning of December, she told me she met someone, and they were dating. It hurt to think she was, in some ways, moving on with her life, but I said I was happy for her.

Throughout December, we barely talked much. She'd only text me if I texted her, and even then at times it would take a while to hear back from her. She mentioned that her and her girlfriend were playing an online game. I couldn't help but feel like I was getting replaced. I confronted her, and she snapped, saying I was being ridiculous and too needy. I responded that we had been talking pretty much every night for 15 years, and were down to maybe a few lines of text a day. That's obviously not an easy transition, especially when I was feeling so low on my life! and had started having suicidal thoughts.

We argued numerous times up until Christmas Day, that was the last day we talked via text. The argument was the same, She needed to get on with life, not be on the computer all the time, and get a real social life. When I commented that playing online games with a girlfriend is no different than what we had been doing for years, she just brushed me off. She also said she was not unhappy about the past few weeks, where I was extremely unhappy and crying over her.

I found out in February that her girlfriend lives in Florida, and they met through the online game. That was another punch to the chest. She wasn't "dating" an actual person in her physical world, she was just repeating what she had done with me. (However, I don't know what this girlfriend knows in terms of the transgender issue).

One day last week, Kelly suddenly re followed me on twitter. The day before, I had sent an email asking if we could have a more civil ending of the friendship (I hate being angry with people), or maybe even just some occasional conversation once in a while. So when she followed me, I thought it was a good sign.

I followed her, and sent her a dm asking what was going on. She said she never intentionally followed me, and "had no idea" how it happened. She then said she'd appreciate it if I just left her alone, instead of her having to block me from all outlets. I told her it was easier said than done, and then in anger, told her what my psychiatrist thinks of her "sadistic psychopath with a lot more problems than you (me)". She laughed and said he doesn't know her, and only what I tell him through my "blurred misconceptions of what a friendship is". I said I didn't talk at all about what I thought a friendship should be, just the facts of what she did. She then blocked me, and we haven't talked since. I check out her twitter every few days, out of morbid, painful curiosity, and she's going on about this girlfriend like she's the best girl ever, after only 4 months of knowing her.

:fall :sad

Has anyone else ever gone through anything similar? I still live with my parents, so I am able to get comfort from my mother and talk to her about it. But I can't remember the last time I felt so much pain...

Thank you to anyone who stuck through this post to read it all. 
Alicia


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