# My first ever date (at 24) - mixed experience



## LimePenguin (Aug 3, 2011)

Two different schools, 2 years at college, 4 years at university, not one date, mostly because I almost never made any approaches except on 3 occasions but unfortunately those girls didn't accept my offer.

But after all these years, I finally got my first ever date.

It happened when I was with a friend at some exhibition. She was telling me that this girl thought I was cute, which is something no-ones ever told me before. I receive many compliments about how I dress and about my pics on facebook but never words like 'cute'. So I took her name and number, I was surprisingly cool about it, though afterwards it kinda hit me was to what just happened lol.

I ring her the next day and ask her out for drinks. I had a cold at the time (probably from that exhibition) so arranged it for the next week.

We met around 7pm and went to this really cool crepe place. The weather was still really hot and sat outside. Then walked it over and along the river to this bar, also sitting outside.

I found her company a little hard work though. I'm not really a chatty person and my hearing is pretty bad or I get easily distract when someone is talking. While we shared similar interests, I could never really come up with much to say. I'm most definitely more a do-er than a talker . And any attempt to make a joke, she wouldn't laugh, she'll just say "fair enough" which I found weird (and annoying) cos I normally get a laugh from others I've told similar jokes to before. I got a few laughs but not many, but always maintained a positive vibe.

The date was picking more towards when we were at the bar. We had planned to take a riverboat tour to wrap it up but wasn't sure where the pier was cos of building works and ended up taking her on a much longer walk than planned with the night ending with her being pretty mad at one point. Needless to say, that boat trip didn't happen. She wanted to go home since she had work the next morning, as did I. During, I dropped a hint of 'another time', with her replying 'that's if there's be one'. I responded jokingly to it but wasn't sure if I she was being serious.

We parted company with a hug, leaving her near her place, I went off back to my home. I sent her a text later thanking her for coming and suggesting we do something more active next time. She responded with a thanks too, but no direct response to my offer.

For a first-ever date with no experience it went pretty well. Really. It probably wasn't as bad as I've described it. But it could have certainly gone better too. Practice makes perfect I guess. Should I still chase her about a next date or just wait for her since the ball is pretty much in her court?

To be honest, I'm not too bothered if I don't get that 2nd date, I just really glad I made the effort. Thanks for reading.

tl;dr:_ Ok date, but she got impatient at end, pursue a second date or move on?_


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## EmptyMind89 (Nov 7, 2008)

Congrats on the first date! Definitely move on, though. It sounds like she was not interested at all for a second date, and if she was, she would have told you.


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## listener123 (May 31, 2011)

Huge props to you man for getting the date, going, putting your best foot forward, and not freaking out that it wasn't a fairy tale romance right away. All that is huge. 

From the sounds of it, I'd say move on. Ball's in her court but you didn't have an amazing time either - no harm in that on both ends. 

I've been pushing myself to date more, and I think a big part of the problem for those of us who haven't done it much is that makes each indvidual date so much more important - it's not just a date, it's a test of ourselves, it's a rare chance, etc. The more you date, though, the more you can let each one just be what it is, an attempt to meet somebody new.


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## LimePenguin (Aug 3, 2011)

EmptyMind89 said:


> Congrats on the first date! Definitely move on, though. It sounds like she was not interested at all for a second date, and if she was, she would have told you.


Thanks. Yeah that's what I thought. It's a shame though because I do actually like her, I just didn't enjoy the night as much.



listener123 said:


> Huge props to you man for getting the date, going, putting your best foot forward, and not freaking out that it wasn't a fairy tale romance right away. All that is huge.
> 
> From the sounds of it, I'd say move on. Ball's in her court but you didn't have an amazing time either - no harm in that on both ends.
> 
> I've been pushing myself to date more, and I think a big part of the problem for those of us who haven't done it much is that makes each indvidual date so much more important - it's not just a date, it's a test of ourselves, it's a rare chance, etc. The more you date, though, the more you can let each one just be what it is, an attempt to meet somebody new.


Thanks very much for your praise. I've learnt over the past few years to take this things as stepping stones and one step closer to achieving something better like you said. I'm sure even the most confident player's first ever date was probably a shambles, they just did more practice and at an earlier age. Anyway, fortunately she hasn't removed me from her Facebook so at least I haven't killed off any kind of relationship. I'll keep chatting to her, mentioning nothing of another date until she does (if she does). In the meantime, I'll keep chatting to new girls as practice, if you like, not necessarily with the intention of asking them out.

I'm glad you've had some luck improving your dating experience too. Gives me hope for the future.


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## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

Congrat! Sounds like a very successful evening. If you want to then send her another text in about a week's time to see if she's up for another date.


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## OGirly (Aug 2, 2011)

Congrats! A date is a huge step in a positive direction  Good for you  Yes, well try again with her maybe once more in a few days; and if no luck at least you had a decent experience; and maybe next time you'll feel even more at ease since it will not be a totally new thing for you


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## Christina123 (May 26, 2011)

Congrats on this huge step.


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## blackbird87 (Jan 24, 2011)

First off, congratulations! It takes courage for us SAers to do what you just did. Anyways, sounds like she's not too interested unfortunately but I would recommend maybe shooting her a text 4 - 5 days after the date to see if she'd be up for a 2nd. Leave the ball in her court at that point, that way the next move is hers. That should give you a better idea of her level of interest.


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## ChoirBoy (Oct 2, 2009)

Like others have said, congratulations on taking this big step! But I agree that you should just let it be and see if she texts you, because she doesn't seem too interested in a second date. And don't take it too personally, perhaps you two didn't click, simple as that


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## LimePenguin (Aug 3, 2011)

Hey guys sorry for the late reply and thanks for your praises.

We've been chatting a lot on facebook and there's definitely a vibe between us. Like having very open and fun conversations.

But nothing about meeting up again yet. Will certainly try and give it another go. Dunno why but thinking asking her out a second time feels more overwhelming than the first, despite this progress.


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