# "Best" Friend



## HF1999 (May 14, 2016)

Long story short I have 1 friend, my best friend, we've been friends for about 7 years but actually started talking/doings things outside of school more so over the last 2 years to the point where we talk every day now.

I'm just incredibly overly attached to him and I hate myself for it. I go into absolute meltdown if he isn't around/hasn't messaged in a while. Although he's my only friend, he has many more himself. I feel so down whenever he hangs around with them instead of me. He has different hobbies to me so goes out and enjoys them with other friends sometimes. And i know it sounds selfish but I can't function properly when this happens. I can't eat, sleep, think clearly. I've expressed this to him before and he is very understanding and assures me he cares for me. I don't want to keep nagging him about this because i don't want to make him distance himself from me as he probably thinks he's better off without all of this. That's why I'm on here. I don't want to affect the current relationship we have. I don't know why but I need to be his "best friend" and i constantly need to be reassured that otherwise i have nothing...

I just don't know how to deal with my breakdowns when he does things without me. And even when he just mentions having a good time with someone else. I have words that he says that trigger me, like a name of one of his friends. It sounds stupid but it kills me inside. It affects my mood around him and then i feel like he doesn't want to be around me because I'm such a downer. Like he'd rather be with one of his other friends.

I care about him more than anything and sometimes i don't feel like i get the same back. Bit of a rambled mess but in summary, I just want to be his best friend. I don't want him to forget about me.


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## shyguy07 (Mar 22, 2015)

I guess I know how you feel. I had two close friends that were important to me. I always wanted to hang out with them, and one in particular, when they would hang out with someone else I felt left out. I always wanted to know where they were as I worried they would forget about me. I constantly needed reassuring that they were my friend.

Then when that friend sort of faded away (his interests changed and suddenly he wasn't in my life much anymore), I started hanging out with my other friend.

Gradually that friend has slipped away also. For a few years, I tried to hang out with him as much as possible to keep the friendship alive. I pretty much had a standing dinner date every week, which was nice. But I saw he was changing too and we didn't have much in common anymore either. Now he has a girlfriend and has started hanging out with other people and I couldn't even tell you where he might be at any given time.

Seven years is a good length of time for a friendship though, that's about how long my friendships lasted before they faded out. I don't really have anyone in my life now that I consider close friend, definitely not like those two. The ones I have now are more like close acquaintances if that.


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## HF1999 (May 14, 2016)

Hey, thanks for the reply!

Yeah I can definitely relate - whenever I don't know what my friend is doing then I panic, because I feel like he will forget about me or have such a good time with someone else that he will no longer want to hang out with me as much - I wouldn't blame him anyway because I'm incredibly boring. And I too constantly need reassuring that he is my friend and I feel like I put too much pressure on him sometimes to the point where he will just move on.

Perhaps I could try and sort out some regular weekly thing, thanks for the idea. Might relieve my anxiety for at least 1 day of the week!

I too fear the day he finds a girlfriend (very selfish, I know). Obviously I'd be thrilled for him however I know that whatever this feeling is inside me will stick with me and probably worsen if that were to happen - then I'd know for certain that I'm not a priority anymore. And the saying goes that once you find a girlfriend, in turn you will lose close friends around you.

Sorry to hear about what happened with your 2 friends. How are you doing nowadays? Do you still try to contact them sometimes? Has the anxiety for those friends gone away or is it still lingering?


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## HF1999 (May 14, 2016)

Sometimes I avoid any conversation with my friend in the hope that he sends me a message first, perhaps asking how I'm doing or if I want to do something with him in the next few days, but that never happens, and I end up giving in and messaging him and getting a completely flat conversation spanning about 4-5 one word replies in a row to the point where I will just give up as he clearly isn't interested. Do I expect too much from him to just message me first here and there, just to see how I am? I feel like he doesn't give a **** sometimes.

I hate how I'm literally traumatised by certain trigger words as well. If he even mentions the name of one of his other friends (especially 1 in particular), I feel an indescribable feeling of worthlessness. 

I don't know what this urge to be his best friend is and it's driving me to the point of insanity where I just sit and feel sorry for myself for days in a row, and it affects my eating, sleeping and what little sociability I have.

I shut myself in a dark room in my mind if he doesn't talk to me which makes me even worse as all I want to do in the first place is talk to him, and feel like I'm part of a conversation. 

I feel so alone if he doesn't message me. At the same time, I can't keep sending him paragraphs about how I'm feeling or if how he's upset me because I feel like he'll drift even further away then I already think he is. I don't even know if he's intentionally avoiding to message me sometime or if I'm just overthinking everything

This is called the "Frustation" forum tab for a reason, haha. I have no idea if any of that is in any way cohesive or understandable but I need to get things off my chest and I have no one else to vent to other than the person I am overly attached to.


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## HF1999 (May 14, 2016)

I managed to gather from someone else that he "doesn't see people as 'best friends'"?

What am I to take from this??? I'm just friend number 27??

Have I been lied to out of sympathy? He's reassured me before that I'm his best friend but I've just never believed it :

He once gave me his facebook to use for something and I happened to stumble upon a post he made in April 2016 called "100 truths" where his best friend was not me. I talked to him about this and he said it's because I don't have facebook so he didn't, and I quote, want to "expose me". Yet on the "who did you last see a movie with" question was my name! So **** that. 

He's also gone behind my back and done things with said friend and lied to me saying he's done something else. 

And even as recently as Friday we arranged to meet up round mine but he didn't bother coming round in the end and went off and did something else with other friends saying that he would be round "later". I just messaged him back and said don't bother because you clearly want to do something else

I just feel like I'm being used late at night when he's bored and has nothing else better to do. 

Yet I'm still obsessively attached to him. It's because I have no one else, and I don't think I ever will have anyone else. The loneliness I feel when he's not around drives me to the brink of insanity and feeling that 100% of the time rather than 75% of the time if I stop talking to him is something I cannot put myself through.

I feel like a ****ing detective and I hate it. I just want to have a 100% real conversation with him where we are both honest to the bone. But usually when I talk about this I just get a one sentence answer and that's it.

I don't mean to keep bumping this post, it's just nice to vent. And I don't know what to do anymore


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## solasum (Nov 17, 2008)

I know you know this already, and anxiety makes it hard, but is it possible to try to find other friends as well? You're obviously a very articulate and intelligent person, and a loyal friend. You made friends with this guy, which means you can make others. They'd be lucky to have you! Sorry if this is a 'captain obvious' moment for me, but it's just a thought.


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## HF1999 (May 14, 2016)

solasum said:


> I know you know this already, and anxiety makes it hard, but is it possible to try to find other friends as well? You're obviously a very articulate and intelligent person, and a loyal friend. You made friends with this guy, which means you can make others. They'd be lucky to have you! Sorry if this is a 'captain obvious' moment for me, but it's just a thought.


As much as it seems like I'm bashing him in this thread (lol), we actually do get along really well most of the time. I'm just incredibly insecure and overthink way too much in certain situations. Yes I agree finding another friend would help, but for some reason it's not even something I've considered to do. I just don't connect with others like I do with this person. It's hard to explain but it's not something I'm actively trying to do because I'm not bothered about making new friends, I'm bothered about making the friendship I currently have with this one person to be concrete, rather than me questioning my worth almost every day because sometimes I feel like he doesn't care about me as much as I care about him. Thanks for replying and the kind words, made me smile ^-^


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## HF1999 (May 14, 2016)

Man....I hate to bring up an old thread of mine....but this still bothers me. I almost have feelings for him. I'm completely straight, no sexual desires for him...but I love him like a brother. We have a pretty good relationship overall and I've made a promise to not mention this sort of stuff to him ever again because it makes me out to be someone I'm not (selfish, over controlling, etc) and it puts unnecessary and unhealthy pressure on him to say/do/act certain ways around me just to "please me" rather than being himself. Even still there are some nights where I question everything - everything I've said in the past perhaps has affected his perception of me. I just wish I knew what he was thinking sometimes. The problem is me not him. I'm so insecure it's unreal. If he doesn't enjoy my company I wish he would say. But he never has said anything so perhaps all is good and I'm just overthinking to the extreme? I just want him to be happy more than anything. This whole thread makes me out to be a creep but I promise you I'm not. I expect too much from him. 

To summarise as concisely as possible, i love my best friend like a brother. I wish it was the same the other way round. Maybe it is? Why won't he tell me? He has said that in the past though. Why do I need constant reassurance? Why is it, with the best intentions, I end up portraying the worst intentions? Why do I act like this? If I was him I would probably feel slightly uneasy. But that's the opposite reaction I'm aiming for. I don't know what the hell I want. Other than for him to be happy. Because I care for him. I wish he did back. And I think he does. Why the self doubt? Questions never to be answered in my mind.

Rant.


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## flyingMint (Aug 31, 2015)

This is literally how my friendship was with someone. Almost word for word. What I ended up doing was leaving them completely because I felt my thought processes were far too detrimental to my own well being. It hurts sometimes but I'm mostly fine now. I've been in the process of analyzing my behaviors then, and really now I feel like an idiot for being so insecure. I'm still insecure but I'm better at ignoring the thoughts that say "they don't like your company" etc. etc. I'm better at articulating, and expressing myself. I'm better at not overanalyzing things either. 

I'm not saying you should do this, because even though I'm doing better, losing that friendship comes back to bite me in the form of "how could you make the mistake of letting them go like that?". I wish I would have gone about it better. I wish I would have been more honest about my insecurities.

I think the problem is that as people with anxiety, (in my experience) I didn't have any friends growing up, I didn't really have anyone who I felt was genuinely interested in me. So when you have someone actually express a kind of mutual respect and appreciation for you, you get stuck to them because you've never felt what it's like to be appreciated and liked. So you well on thoughts that you've developed because deep down you feel like your not good enough for anyone.


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## Norea (Apr 9, 2017)

Wow I could have written this! It's so bad tht I considered going friendless but on the other hand I am so fundamentally lonely and I crave a connection. I know that for me, it stems from an attachment disorder. Never feeling good enough and always scared of being abandoned.


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## HF1999 (May 14, 2016)

flyingMint said:


> This is literally how my friendship was with someone. Almost word for word. What I ended up doing was leaving them completely because I felt my thought processes were far too detrimental to my own well being. It hurts sometimes but I'm mostly fine now. I've been in the process of analyzing my behaviors then, and really now I feel like an idiot for being so insecure. I'm still insecure but I'm better at ignoring the thoughts that say "they don't like your company" etc. etc. I'm better at articulating, and expressing myself. I'm better at not overanalyzing things either.
> 
> I'm not saying you should do this, because even though I'm doing better, losing that friendship comes back to bite me in the form of "how could you make the mistake of letting them go like that?". I wish I would have gone about it better. I wish I would have been more honest about my insecurities.
> 
> I think the problem is that as people with anxiety, (in my experience) I didn't have any friends growing up, I didn't really have anyone who I felt was genuinely interested in me. So when you have someone actually express a kind of mutual respect and appreciation for you, you get stuck to them because you've never felt what it's like to be appreciated and liked. So you well on thoughts that you've developed because deep down you feel like your not good enough for anyone.


This was a very relatable post. I have had several thoughts about leaving my friend as well but I genuinely care for him as a person and enjoy his company, and I feel like that would do more harm than good, even more harm than I am already experiencing mentally.

I too have never had any close friends growing up apart from this person, as I am very introverted and a little socially awkward at times. I don't go to many, if any, social events at all. So like you said, when you find someone who actually appreciates you as who you are then you do get stuck to them! It doesn't seem right being this stuck to him though, and it's unhealthy for both of us, and I feel like one day if I keep this up I will say something I really regret (I already have done in the past but luckily he is very understanding and we've sorted things out) and lose him for good.

It's so on and off as well. Some periods I am absolutely fine whereas I go through other periods where I feel like he just doesn't care (which isn't true) which then not only affects my overall mood but it affects my sleeping, eating, and general behaviour.


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## HF1999 (May 14, 2016)

Norea said:


> Wow I could have written this! It's so bad tht I considered going friendless but on the other hand I am so fundamentally lonely and I crave a connection. I know that for me, it stems from an attachment disorder. Never feeling good enough and always scared of being abandoned.


I completely relate to this as well. This is exactly what I feel. It's a real eye opener to see other people go through similar stuff, almost word to word. It's difficult to find any sort of information online about this specific problem. My head just does somersaults all the time and I'm almost at the point where I don't know what part of me to listen to anymore!


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## flyingMint (Aug 31, 2015)

HF1999 said:


> This was a very relatable post. I have had several thoughts about leaving my friend as well but I genuinely care for him as a person and enjoy his company, and I feel like that would do more harm than good, even more harm than I am already experiencing mentally.
> 
> I too have never had any close friends growing up apart from this person, as I am very introverted and a little socially awkward at times. I don't go to many, if any, social events at all. So like you said, when you find someone who actually appreciates you as who you are then you do get stuck to them! It doesn't seem right being this stuck to him though, and it's unhealthy for both of us, and I feel like one day if I keep this up I will say something I really regret (I already have done in the past but luckily he is very understanding and we've sorted things out) and lose him for good.
> 
> It's so on and off as well. Some periods I am absolutely fine whereas I go through other periods where I feel like he just doesn't care (which isn't true) which then not only affects my overall mood but it affects my sleeping, eating, and general behaviour.


Yeah I can say that leaving is good but it's also left me really nostalgic and at times mood. I think its probably important to take them off that pedestal that we build for them and realize that they are just a person and very much capable of doing other things, having other friends, it doesn't make them love you any less. I feel like we want that genuine trust and when someone shows promise in reciprocating that trust, we really hold them up to it, because again we just never experienced that kind of feeling before. 
Also, I guess the problem is that since we crave that validation and that specialness and someone gives it to us after never really having it for so long, we stick to them and we constantly want it because it just feels good to be loved. Especially by someone who isn't a part of your family, because with family (i think) sometimes its like "oh well i have to love you, you're my family" but with friends etc. its like wow this person genuinely likes me and enjoys my company! I can't really offer advice on how to turn off those moods or thoughts because I honestly don't know how to do it myself (I guess becoming busy on other things helped) but I hope at least talking/writing about it is helping you get that energy off your chest!


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## Deaf Mute (Jun 12, 2017)

Think of it this way, by them meeting others and hanging out with others, you're giving them room to grow and explore, to become a greater version of themselves. Conversely, while they are away you also have this free time to yourself to expand. 

About the "having no best friend" thing, he might've just said that to others so as not to put them lower or in a ranking. People like to feel exclusive or special when they're with someone, so bringing others into the picture is sort of intrusive.

You say you want him to be happy, so be glad he can roam freely and explore. I lost one of my childhood friends to insecurity.. we were both insecure. In the end we had a falling out over various things, since I was changing as a person and he was not. Now that we're not speaking he's doing a lot better and has improved himself, which I'm glad.

The thing is, this could have all happened without tragedy, we could've still been friends but instead with both of us growing. So that's why I say, to set him free, be there for him when he needs you/wants you, but let him fly his own way.


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## Erroll (Jan 18, 2016)

HF1999 said:


> To summarise as concisely as possible, i love my best friend like a brother. I wish it was the same the other way round. Maybe it is? Why won't he tell me? He has said that in the past though. Why do I need constant reassurance? Why is it, with the best intentions, I end up portraying the worst intentions? Why do I act like this? If I was him I would probably feel slightly uneasy. But that's the opposite reaction I'm aiming for. I don't know what the hell I want. Other than for him to be happy. Because I care for him. I wish he did back. And I think he does. Why the self doubt? Questions never to be answered in my mind.
> 
> Rant.


Your post brings back such achy old memories for me, of many years ago, when I was 19. I loved a guy that I grew up with and it seemed, no matter how kind he was to me, that it was never enough.

It always seemed that he did not know how to respond to me when I talked about friendship and how much I cared for him. He probably thought that I was gay and was befuddled as to how to deal with that, with a guy he'd known since childhood. Well, I did, in fact, turn out gay, but it wasn't a burning sexual desire that I felt for him. I just wanted him to love me like I loved him.

I admired the way he acted with everyone, except he could never act friendly enough to please me. I always called it 'unrequited love', but I think 'attachment disorder' might be a better description of what I felt. IT WAS FREAKIN' HORRIBLE. And, like you say, maybe he was doing the best he could to return my affection, but it was never enough for me. Any amount of time we spent together was never enough. It seemed that I wanted so much more than he was capable of giving. But more likely, he was doing his best to return my affection, and I could not read that in his actions.

After college, we went our separate ways with our chosen careers. Life came between us. I pined for him for fully 2 years. Then one day I woke up and the ache was gone. I visited him once after that, and met his wife and little daughter.

The decades rolled by. I never forgot him or the ache that I suffered. I got lucky and I found another love, but I never forgot him. After I retired from my career, I tried to get in touch with him via email and received no answer. Later I learned that he was busy caring for his dying wife around the time that I wrote, so that's likely why he did not write back.

Then, two years ago, I learned that he died. Just a couple of weeks ago, I wrote 3 typed pages of memories of my time with him, to his daughter. I expect no response, but I just had to tell her what her dad meant to me. I looked up his grave site, and I plan to lay a flower or two on his grave. I'll never stop loving him, and I feel that a piece of him still lives on, in me, and in the feelings that I will always have for him.

The human condition is strange. Sometimes we feel love to a greater extent than we recognize the love that others have for us. I think that faith in one's friends is the answer. I choose to believe that he did, indeed, return my love in kind. I know that now because I have faith that he did. I liken the ache that I felt for his affection to a physical condition, like blindness. And I hope that he was not hurt by feeling that his best love was never enough for me.

So, that is how it is for me. No solutions here, except, maybe, learn to have faith in your friend; faith that he does recognize your feelings for him, and faith that he is returning those feelings to you as best he knows how, but you are just unable to perceive them.

I feel for you, man.


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## HF1999 (May 14, 2016)

Erroll said:


> Your post brings back such achy old memories for me, of many years ago, when I was 19. I loved a guy that I grew up with and it seemed, no matter how kind he was to me, that it was never enough.
> 
> It always seemed that he did not know how to respond to me when I talked about friendship and how much I cared for him. He probably thought that I was gay and was befuddled as to how to deal with that, with a guy he'd known since childhood. Well, I did, in fact, turn out gay, but it wasn't a burning sexual desire that I felt for him. I just wanted him to love me like I loved him.
> 
> ...


Wow....I'm honestly speechless after reading this. First of all thank you for sharing this.

It's all incredibly relatable, like how you say you wanted so much more than he was perhaps capable of giving - expecting too much from him. I feel guilty of expecting too much from him all the time. But I continue to selfishly feel and act this way, almost uncontrollably. I feel I have somewhat affected our relationship though my rational behaviour at times because of this, when like you said, on reflection, he was doing his best to return his affection and I could not see it. I see and hear things he says to other people close to him and unconsciously use that as a standard against him, and AGAIN like you said, whatever he does isn't good enough to please me, and even if on occasions it does comfort me, it isn't enough and I crave more. Reading that back it sounds absolutely bonkers....and even worse, disturbing.

I feel like I have been blind to his affection and attention at times. But even if today I cure myself of this blindness, I think the damage has already been done. This person is everything to me. And I'm scared I've crossed the line in the past and I'm at the point where I think he thinks I'm so out of my mind that he should keep his distance from me and not put his trust in me. But perhaps that's just me overthinking. I don't think I will ever know for sure because I go through periods where I think I'm over it all and I don't think about it that much, then suddenly something pops up like he's spent the night with his other friends and just like that I question everything that's ever happened between us. And the real mind bender here is that of course I don't want to stop him socialising with his other friends if that's what he wants to do, whatever makes him happy, but it turns me into someone different and it gives him the impression that I don't care for him and I'm selfish.

Crazy who makes you the happiest can also make you the saddest. But I think it's mostly down to my brain creating all these false perceptions of reality and this post has helped me realise that I need to look for the positives and make the most of the time I have with him.

This is going to resonate with me for a while. The whole story brought a tear to my eye. Thank you.

...Thank you.


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## AnxiousCollegeStudent (Aug 3, 2017)

Everything you're feeling is exactly how I'm feeling with my closest friend right now. I consider them my best friend and I want them to feel the same about me. They're obviously close to me and talk to me everyday, but I feel like I care more than them in the friendship, and if it seems like they'd rather talk to someone else over me I get so much anxiety. I wish I wasn't so obsessive over this friendship, but like you it's the only one I have. It's also my summer break so I have a lot more free time and I think that's playing a part in me wanting someone to talk to so much. I could easily talk to other people, but I only want to talk to him during the day. I wish I could cope with this situation better.


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## porkchops2000 (Aug 1, 2017)

Wow!
I completely understand what you're going through, since I am literally in the same position as you are.
The feeling sucks, especially finding out they're hanging out with other friends.
I also love my friend like a brother and it's getting harder and harder to see him hang out with other friends, especially since he does things (illegal) that I don't like or want to be involved in.

What I'm realizing though is that he is a great friend to me, and that I need to give him his space and every time I get a feeling of loneliness or worthlessness re: his friendship, I imagine his actions and how they have continuously proven that he does in fact care for me as a brother like I do

This has made it a little better but my anxiety still peaks at the thought of him having fun with other people.

Hope we both get through this!


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## thedumb (Aug 3, 2017)

I'm glad that so many people are going through the same thing, I thought I was the only one.

I started getting to know my best friend when I first moved to the city, he was in my class, and my sister told me specifically to stay away from him as she knows what the whole school thinks of him (he has a fairly bad rep as the "player", everyone hated him). Despite this, we kind off hit it off the moment we started talking, and we were really close ever since.

For some reason when I do not receive constant validation from my best friend, I will start feeling like we aren't even friends. I don't understand why I think this way, he talks to me every single day at school, and when we get home, there will always be a constant thread of conversation through text, or even through a Skype call. We would have plans almost every weekend, and would take the occasional road trip. I don't have many friends to begin with, as I just recently moved cities, and all of my friends in my previous town rarely get the chance to meet me. So I guess he is one of the only people I have here.

I guess this all started to really intensify when he got a girlfriend (whom I am also good friends with) and suddenly, we don't hang out as much, and every so often, he would just drop and ditch his plans with me to go spend time with her. Don't get me wrong, he makes a lot of effort to spend time with me, still talking to me at school, texting me and all the usual stuff, but every time he decides to spend time with his girlfriend, I start to feel really left out, but more specifically, I would feel hurt. My worries that he would leave me and stop being friends with me would just intensify. I would feel angry, annoyed, alone, all together into a giant ball of emotion. This anger lead me to be very passive aggressive towards him. Sometimes, when he is free and asks to go out again, I would just lie and tell him that I am busy, or ignore all his messages entirely, sometimes I even say "yes" to going out with him and his girlfriend just to sulk at his face as a form of "revenge" for the last time he ditched me. I kept this up till the end of the school year.

Summer comes and we're both abroad, in different time zones. We barely contacted each other as a result, making me feel even more alone, sad, but more importantly, angry. In my head I was constantly thinking and thinking _"So he's just gonna stop being a friend now? Cause he's got a girlfriend now and we happen to be in different places? Did I even matter as a person to him, or was I just someone he hung out with when no one liked him? Did he even consider me a friend?"_ These thoughts continued to intensify all summer long.

When we both got back to the city, he invited me to go out, where I blew up at him and got mad, really mad. We got into a big argument after a couple of drinks (which we all know is never a good idea when you're feeling down). Which all started after I told him exactly how I felt, all the anger in me just came out and I told him everything. At first he was understanding, but slowly he got mad, because he didn't understand why no matter what he does, I would still think he would leave me. He started telling me all the times he has tried to spend time with me (all the times that I pushed him away as a form of "revenge"). Telling me that I shouldn't blame him for not keeping in contact with me over the summer because we were in different time zones, and that he was spending time with his family. Everything he said was right, and it made me feel so stupid to let my thoughts trick me into believing my own best friend didn't even wanna hang out with me anymore. I felt really guilty for pushing him away, I can't believe I let my social anxiety get the better of me. At this point, the argument had gotten quite emotional, and after saying all that, none of us said much more, we just sort of, hugged it out. No apology from me, we just let it slide, and everything was normal again the next day. But obviously, my feelings of guilt remain, and I really don't know what to do. I know now, that he is a really good friend to me, and I shouldn't have been so mean to him for something he didn't even do in the beginning, something that was all in my head.

These days Ive just been trying to understand that he has a life too, and he is making his best effort to still hangout with me. I really do want to apologize to him for not appreciating/seeing that, but I don't really want to dig up anything from the past.


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## Jeejee12 (Jun 27, 2017)

This post is literally me. Word for word. It drives me insane.


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## HF1999 (May 14, 2016)

Hate to keep bumping this thread but it's like a personal therapy session for me

I'm just going through the same **** again. 

The thing that boggles my mind the most is that through your desire to be with that friend, you are instead driving him further away from you. And as he gets further away from you, the more you try and make things right, and it turns into this vicious one way cycle which just sounds creepy when I put it like that. This sort of stuff is so hard to put into words I am finding.

Crazy how who can make you the happiest can make you the saddest

And it's crazy how much I rely on another human being just for my own personal well being.

It's interesting to see how many other people really struggle with this on this thread. Your stories are all greatly appreciated. I hope you find what you are looking for.


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