# Is it normal to be in your early twenties and have no friends?



## Dsg1116 (Feb 24, 2014)

Like none? Plus no boyfriend? What is wrong with me?


----------



## MamaDoe (Dec 15, 2015)

You made another post here btw:

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f249/am-i-that-ugly-1817793/


----------



## Intjblues (May 31, 2016)

Anyways ..........

I think it's normal. I think a lot of people are learning to grow up. That's my conculsiom more than others.. I have no friends. I have a boyfriend an ex husband and 2 kids though 😝 Don't be discouraged someone will find YOU. I learned that the second time around.. I mean you could have a rushed relationship or friendship but I know you don't want that.. Keep your head up !!


----------



## 3677 (Apr 29, 2016)

I'm 24 and have no friends and it sucks. I feel so lonely all the time. Probably why I post on SAS. Makes me feel less lonely.


----------



## Dsg1116 (Feb 24, 2014)

MamaDoe said:


> You made another post here btw:
> 
> http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f249/am-i-that-ugly-1817793/


Yes I'm aware. Am I not allowed to post more or something?


----------



## aquariusrising (May 19, 2014)

Same... I don't have one I'd like one friend. Just ONE. Your post sounds like I wrote it..odd


----------



## KodakCrack (May 25, 2016)

****, same


----------



## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

It not normal (trust me when i tell people i dont have one friend they never believe me) but for us with sa it is normal it been 9 years since i have had a irl friend and it will probably end up been 10 if i am still alive by then


----------



## NoCombovers (Apr 29, 2016)

Dsg1116 said:


> Like none? Plus no boyfriend? What is wrong with me?


There really isn't such a thing as "normal". This is an invented concept, devised by biased opinions (not facts) about how every person should be and what every person needs to have in their life in order to be happy, content, peaceful, whole.

But there is huge variation in humans and this variation is simply not allowed to exist in society and so the various ways that people are naturally and which are deemed outside the definition of "normal" are classified by these biased opinions as "not normal/abnormal", "defective, "ill", "dysfunctional" etc., along with actual labels for ways of being that are considered "serious".

Its just like asking the colors of the rainbow, plants, fruit, fish, birds, rocks - which one/type of these is normal?

It is also well known that from the teens and until around 25 years of age, the importance of being included, accepted, liked, etc., is massive to people and so this also plays a role in how you feel.


----------



## NoCombovers (Apr 29, 2016)

3677 said:


> I'm 24 and have no friends and it sucks. I feel so lonely all the time. Probably why I post on SAS. Makes me feel less lonely.


This might help you stop feeling lonely. Loneliness isn't caused by what you think it is caused by.


----------



## Alkalinity (Mar 10, 2013)

I'm 22 and I've never had a boyfriend and I don't have friends due to my SA. I don't think there's anyhting wrong with us, usually we come from unique circumstances like SA or depression which make it harder for us to attract people or be around them. But I admit I get jealous seeing people with their SO's while I'm all alone.


----------



## NoCombovers (Apr 29, 2016)

Alkalinity said:


> I'm 22 and I've never had a boyfriend and I don't have friends due to my SA. I don't think there's anyhting wrong with us, usually we come from unique circumstances like SA or depression which make it harder for us to attract people or be around them. But I admit I get jealous seeing people with their SO's while I'm all alone.


End your social anxiety





End your depression (you are not depressed)





Stop feeling lonely


----------



## Dark Jewel (Jul 18, 2014)

It's not nearly normal.

I've never had any friends at any point in my lidw and have never had a boyfriend, either...


----------



## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Dark Jewel said:


> I've never had any friends at any point in my life


What about me? :crying:


----------



## Dsg1116 (Feb 24, 2014)

Alkalinity said:


> I'm 22 and I've never had a boyfriend and I don't have friends due to my SA. I don't think there's anyhting wrong with us, usually we come from unique circumstances like SA or depression which make it harder for us to attract people or be around them. But I admit I get jealous seeing people with their SO's while I'm all alone.


Wow, we have a lot in common. Best of luck to both of us I guess. We will prosper and live to be socialites! Eventually...?


----------



## Dark Jewel (Jul 18, 2014)

Kevin001 said:


> What about me? :crying:


I don't count internet people, :/


----------



## SunnyLi (Jun 1, 2016)

NoCombovers said:


> There really isn't such a thing as "normal". This is an invented concept, devised by biased opinions (not facts) about how every person should be and what every person needs to have in their life in order to be happy, content, peaceful, whole.
> 
> But there is huge variation in humans and this variation is simply not allowed to exist in society and so the various ways that people are naturally and which are deemed outside the definition of "normal" are classified by these biased opinions as "not normal/abnormal", "defective, "ill", "dysfunctional" etc., along with actual labels for ways of being that are considered "serious".
> 
> ...


I completely agree with you


----------



## SunnyLi (Jun 1, 2016)

Me either some people say well I have a bf or a gf that's still a friend I see why they want more but at least they have someone on their level.

Or some people say I don't have any friends they usually do have a few.

I mean I have zero just like you, you can check my contacts their 0 people in these contacts I have no one to call or text so I know what's it like.

But at the same time I don't really want friends they're kind of tiring <_<


----------



## firestar (Jun 27, 2009)

In the real world? Yes. 
On here? No.

I think the lack of friends is weirder than the lack of a boyfriend, though. I have three younger siblings in their twenties and none of them have had any luck in the dating world, even though they're all (comparatively) more normal than I am. Two of them I'm pretty sure haven't dated at all. One has had one serious relationship and is currently single. He's 27 now, about to turn 28.


----------



## SouthFL (Feb 20, 2016)

In your twenties everyone is finishing college and working so it's normal to lose friends or not have any. To find a boyfriend it would probably be easier with no friends anyways because guys prefer to approach a girl when she is by herself.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

Dsg1116 said:


> Like none? Plus no boyfriend? What is wrong with me?


It is unusual for most ages. You are socially anxious.


----------



## jennyyyxo (Apr 3, 2015)

I ask myself the same question :serious:


----------



## SoloMe (Jun 4, 2016)

It's not normal. I am 39 with no friends... not one. At this point in life I've stopped trying to strategize about making or not having friends. It hasn't happened in all these yrs so it's pointless to waist more energy on it. I just accepted that my life is to wake up-work-eat-sleep in that order until the end is here for me. I can only be me and not "pretend" to have a personality that everyone is attracted to. so if I'm not accepted by others because of that then alone I shall be....solo me


----------



## Dsg1116 (Feb 24, 2014)

SoloMe said:


> It's not normal. I am 39 with no friends... not one. At this point in life I've stopped trying to strategize about making or not having friends. It hasn't happened in all these yrs so it's pointless to waist more energy on it. I just accepted that my life is to wake up-work-eat-sleep in that order until the end is here for me. I can only be me and not "pretend" to have a personality that everyone is attracted to. so if I'm not accepted by others because of that then alone I shall be....solo me


Are you at least married or have a romantic partner?


----------



## SoloMe (Jun 4, 2016)

Nope no one, never married no boyfriend 
I've dated from time to time but most I've come across only want a sexual relationship so I'm no longer interested in dating


----------



## Dsg1116 (Feb 24, 2014)

Well if men wanted sexual relations with you, at least you know you're attractive.


----------



## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

Dark Jewel said:


> I don't count internet people, :/


Savage.


----------



## Dark Jewel (Jul 18, 2014)

My Hearse said:


> Savage.


It may seem a little harsh, but ultimately, they can't be here with me... and that's what I need most.


----------



## CNikki (Aug 9, 2013)

These posts here, though... I'll get back to this later and see if I can thoroughly answer.


----------

