# What's your relationship with your therapist like?



## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

I've worked longterm with three therapists in the past and currently. 

One was a older female in when I was 16-20. I self disclosed a lot of thoughts, history, concerns, problems meeting with her every twice a week paying 20 dollars a session and in the process fell in love with her. The transference process is so painful. After she decided to quit her private practice, I didn't know how to cope with myself.

She as a therapist was psychodynamic deals particularly with depression. 

After her she referred me to a male therapist that I little knew in adolescene from a mental health clinic. My parents paid 60-70 dollars for his services meeting once a week for 2 and half years. I also self disclosed a lot of my thoughts, history, concerns, problems. I felt extremely understood and like him a lot.

I grew a lot as a person. Matured more, think more clearly, learn how to cope with a lot of situations. After that, I thought this is not what I need, I need not to build a relationship. I want to make a friend. I want to make a friend that feels like a therapeutic relationship. I want DEPTH in a relationship. I want a strong EMPATHETIC part in a relationship. I thanked him for his services and he strongly urged and disapproved me wanting to end the relationship. 

He as a therapist was more psychoanalytical and psychodynamic deals with depression and other concerns. 

I'm currently seeing a therapist that is paid from insurance. This person I feel understands me. I see him less often every 2 weeks or 3 weeks. He understands me yearning for a real friend. He understands that I yearn for depth, yearn for closeness, yearn for solidness, yearn for meaningfulness, yearn for empathy in a relationship. He advices me to try to find people with common interests, whether it is a club or organization at school, or outside, find people that I would like to get to know in my classes. Practice self disclosure and such. He's more practical. I try my best to do. I volunteer. I go to political demonstrations. I attend cultural events. I push myself to participate in my classes. I push myself not really with trying to be social with my classmates. I try my best. I go to piano lessons. I try to be social and make connections in my family. Yet I still don't have what I seek. The closeness, the solidness, the meaningfulness, the depth, the empathy part. My latest volunteer stint is being a peer support (practical and emotional support) to a HIV/AIDS patient. One of the reasons I chose to persue this work is just that it's intimate relationship. If I can't get what I want from others then I might as well give it to someone that needs it. I'm currently in the process of being matched with a person. 

I like this therapist as well. He understands me completely and I try my best to give heed and put into action his advice. 

This person is also psychodynamic. 

I have a high regard for those therapists who I have worked with in the past. And feel a strong need to still communicate with them even though the relationship was broken off for whatever reason. 

It feels wierd because therapist are trained to understand people. That's why there's a high regard. I feel if something is up with me, a have a problem or concern, there's no one to selfdisclose that to. And I want it to be understood. I don't trust my family because I feel more frustrated and I don't feel understood. The existing relationships I am in don't have that trust factor either. What felt more wierd is that peer support training. We had practice sessions of giving emotional support and in our small groups one had to listen and the other had to provide support. and I was selfdisclosing my lack of quality in my relationships and also another time with me suffering from not having a close, solid, meaningful friendship. The person listening was just listening. I felt not understood even though I feel their presence with me. Last semester in school, I opened up to about my shyness and social anxiety problems to my whole entire health class and didn't feel understood only by my instructor. Stuff like that weirds me out, I want to be understood yet I just don't feel understood. I express myself with a lot of feeling and it feels like a lot of people aren't really receptive or know how to respond to me on how I express myself and my own social needs, and my own empathetic needs. 

But to a therapist, i feel they all understand me. And that's the thing I mostly like about them. that's why the high regard. That's why I feel there's more depth, closeness, solidness, meaningful in a therapeutic relationship. It feels weird working longterm with a therapist seeing them at least once a week for 2-3 years and feel extremely close than to a family member that doesn't have any depth or closeness knowing me for 24 years. 

Anyway, sorry about the long post, I hope I'm understood if not, I feel this was stupid attempt to be understood. You all aren't therapists so it probably doesn't make sense. 

Anyway my question is to you, is what is your relationship like with your therapist? How close it is to you? How important it is to you? Does your therapist understands you? Does he/she help you with all your concerns? Have you worked longterm with a therapist? Have you ever fell in love with a therapist? What's it like?


----------



## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

My last therapist I had was really nice. She was the best therapist I had for SA. She was really understanding and good at what she did. No problem was too small for her. The longest I've worked with a therapist was for 7 months. I've never had any uh sexual feelings for any of my therapists or health workers, cept this one pyschologist, she was hot. It was kinda hard to talk to someone about your feelings whos hot.


----------



## sh0x (Oct 9, 2006)

The therapist I'm seeing right now is pretty nice. I've been seeing her once a week for about 2 months now, except we have been skipping some weeks due to scheduling problems.

She is kinda hot, but I don't really have any sexual feelings for her because I'd feel kinda awkward if I did.


----------



## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

I only had 8 sessions with my therapist - I had my last one today. She is a little bit older than me I think. 
For the first few sessions I was too busy being anxious to be attracted to her - later on the thought did cross my mind, and it took a while for me to work out what the whole patient-therapist relationship is. 
It was hard for me because she has been the only person I have been able to say more than a few sentences to (I'm pretty isolated with no friends). I eventually decided that she was more of a surrogate friend to me than anything else, for an hour a week anyway. I feel like such a relationship can never be much more; therapists have lots of patients, they are working, the relationship is one-sided. My therapist worked pretty hard during sessions, she was always doing something with her body-language as well as giving me good advice and goals. To me its just not a real friendship.


----------



## No Limit (Dec 6, 2005)

well let's put it this way... I feel comfortable enough to talk with her about my sexual frustrations and my wanting so bad to have a romantic relationship with a female. I've been seeing the same therapist for almost two years.


----------

