# Have I met a weirdo online?



## greenee (Sep 11, 2012)

Hi everyone, please help

... If I had friends I would ask them for advice but I don't have any so...

I began speaking to a guy on plenty of fish. He seems ok and I saw his picture but I don't judge on appearance so I sent him a message. He got back to me and we spoke for a while and it was ok. We had common interest etc. I gave him my number and after 2 days of texting he said he wanted to meet me. I said no because it was too early. He said ok.

Then everyday since then he keeps texting me saying "morning". When I didn't get back because I work, and got back to him much later he asked me why I didn't text back. I told him why but I thought it was weird. It was Friday so to be polite I said "enjoy the weekend", he replied asking me why I said that and if I was going away. I said no it was to be polite.

We texted again and he asked for a picture. I said no because i looked a state that day and i dont like pictures of myself and he said ok. A few hours later and he texted me again saying "please send me a picture tomorrow".

Aside from that when he doesn't say things like that we do have lots in common an he sounds nice.... But I just get weird vibes from him..,

I'm unsure what to do. What do you think? 

UPDATE

Ok, so i gave him the benefit of the doubt and met up with him for dinner. Here's what happened....

1. He seemed to have lied on his profile; he said he was 5'7 but I am 5'3 (or even shorter) but he was the same height as me

2. The first thing he said was he had ADD or Attention Deficit Disorder which meant he was very hyper, fidgety, lost focus or motivation easily. He told me he got depressed easily too and it took him a year and a half to find a job

3. He took food off my plate

4. He spilled beer all over the table

5. He spat a lot of food out when talking

6. He paid ten bucks for the meal and I paid 20. Mine was a bit more expensive tbh

7. He also grabbed my shoulder a lot

Ok, so I was wondering if all these things should be overlooked for a first date since he has told me he enjoyed meeting me and wanted to go for a second date.

Personally I thought we got on ok and he was genuinely a nice guy but I guess I was a bit put off by the dinner.

Please tell me your thoughts?


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## cmed (Oct 17, 2009)

He seems needy and insecure. Weirdo? Can't say. Not enough info.


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## Crimson Lotus (Jul 26, 2013)

Red flags all over the place, if not a creep at least a very desperate and immature guy. 

My advice would be to cut all contact with him immediately.


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## greenee (Sep 11, 2012)

He's also asked me if I have a facebook account (which I don't). He tells me he is at work but then He spends time texting me back and I don't want to ask him "you know... Aren't you supposed to be at work lol?" 

The reason why I am unsure is because we do have a lot in common but I just wish he wouldn't ask me weird questions.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Desperate person is desperate.


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## seeking777 (Oct 24, 2012)

Some of his responses do sound kind of weird/needy but if this is making you feel uncomfortable then that an indication that you might want to cut off contact. If it's not then keep talking to him and see whether these comments continue or stop. If they stop good, if they don't proceed accordingly and move on to the next dude. 

But the thing is sometimes we should pay attention to these seemingly little comments that a person says when we're getting to know them. I was talking to a guy last year and he would make these subtle/vague sexual comments and we had only been talking for a week. I thought we were in the "getting to know each other stage" but apparently he thought we were in the "let's have sex phase" after only talking for a week. I noticed the comments but continued to give him a chance until he said something outright that made me quite uncomfortable so I cut him off.

Also my friend had a few, ahem interesting, okay BAD experiences with two guys she met on that site, POF. Sooo yeah, just sayin. I'm not going to write what happened here because it's disturbing. So be careful on POF, it's not exactly known for having a high caliber of potential dates.


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## ZortnTroz (Aug 23, 2013)

Desperate? Maybe, but that doesn't necessary make him a weirdo.

He could also be one of the types who is primarily focused on looks, and perhaps he wants to see what you look like and determine whether or not he is wasting his time with you. 

Also, the premise of PlentyOfFish is for dating, so eventually the two of you will have to meet sometime, so what he is asking isn't completely out of the blue. Whether he respects your boundaries after telling him you don't want to is another matter. Also look at it from his point of view, you not willing to send a picture and when you initiated the conversation, what's to say you are not catfishing him.

If you don't feel safe or comfortable taking a picture of yourself for him, that is your choice to make. If he continues to coerce you into taking a picture, then you should rethink whether or not this person is worth pursuing.


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## Whatev (Feb 6, 2012)

I would trust that weird vibe you're getting from him. Imagine how a relationship would go if you don't text him within a certain amount of time or he doesn't respect your no as an answer. Stay away.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Not necessarily weird, but needy and probably doesn't have any experience with women.


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## midnightson (Nov 6, 2013)

Obviously a serial killer and possible pedo. If he sends anymore questionable texts report him to the cops.


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## Emilie544769 (Jul 7, 2014)

To me it just sounds like he enjoys talking with you. Honestly you should stop worrying. If he starts texting you every minute and calling over and over, then you should be worried. Everyone asks everyone if they have a facebook (in this generation at least) he's not being weird at all.


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

Question: Has he seen a pic of you? He could just be curious of what you look like.

But yea, like others have said, not a weirdo, just asking for a photo. People blow that way out of proportion, especially those like us, whom have SA. And as for the texts, he could just be a big phone person, who always checks their phone 24/7. You know those types. So that could play into it.


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

midnightson said:


> Obviously a serial killer and possible pedo. If he sends anymore questionable texts report him to the cops.


Um....I wouldn't go that far. Seriously don't do this. Maybe if he sends you a penis pic then you should.


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## Slytherclaw (Jul 16, 2011)

Don't ignore vibes. Everytime I ignore vibes (ESPECIALLY the "weirdo" vibes) I end up in a bad spot. If he is making you feel uncomfortable, it's better to stop contacting him.


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## greenee (Sep 11, 2012)

He has seen a picture of me; there is 1 on my profile. He said I was really cute, the time he asked me for another picture was when we had been talking for about a week.

Thanks everyone for their input btw. I really appreciate it.


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## veron (Apr 29, 2009)

I've had a guy who texted me very often like that. Some people are just "texters." It can be annoying, but I wouldn't necessarily classify it as very weird. It seems like he wants to take things more quickly that you do. 

From my experience with online dating, people can be very different in person than they are online (or across text messages). So I think it's better to meet up early and find out who you're dealing with than to wait and risk ending up disappointed.


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## ilikesloths (Jun 1, 2014)

I personally think it's weird as f to cling someone you barely know that much. I'd block him.


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## Cellachan (Jul 7, 2014)

Guy sounds like he belongs on here.


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## dreamloss (Oct 28, 2013)

ugh, he sounds so pushy and annoying. If he gives you weird vibes and makes you uncomfortable it's probably a terrible way to start a relationship.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

Meeting people online is not a good thing to do. It's whole lot better face to face because a lot of people online can be liars and are never honest.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

greenee said:


> I'm unsure what to do. What do you think?


 He does sound a little pushy but it's very easy to take someone the wrong way over text. Maybe you should just tell him he's making you feel a little uncomfortable and see what he says.


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## smallfries (Jun 21, 2013)

So I have my fair share of experience with men who give off that vibe or make me uncomfortable. It's hard to say at this point whether or not this is a guy that you should avoid, because like others said, so far it just sounds like he's insecure and his eagerness to get to know you is coming out wrong. Ironically, it sounds like he doesn't have high social skills hahaha.

If you feel okay about it, you can keep texting and chatting with him every once in awhile. Of course, don't ignore the feeling you are getting, because your gut instincts are right more often than you would think, but maybe you should give him a little slack and consider that he might just be unsure of how to talk to girls.

If he starts acting possessive or angry in any way because you didn't "respond back within five minutes" please, please, please, do not talk to him anymore. If he sends you fifteen text messages that you haven't responded to, don't talk to him. That's a really bad sign, and I've dealt with someone like that. And, if he repeatedly pushes you to send him a picture or a sexual picture after you've told him no, drop him. You need to be your number one priority right now.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

If you met up with him rather than talking to each other online he might be different.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

> so far it just sounds like he's insecure and his eagerness to get to know you is coming out wrong. Ironically, it sounds like he doesn't have high social skills hahaha.


This.



> If you feel okay about it, you can keep texting and chatting with him every once in awhile.


Is this going to be a friendship or a relationship?



> If he starts acting possessive or angry in any way because you didn't "respond back within five minutes" please, please, please, do not talk to him anymore. If he sends you fifteen text messages that you haven't responded to, don't talk to him. That's a really bad sign, and I've dealt with someone like that. And, if he repeatedly pushes you to send him a picture or a sexual picture after you've told him no, drop him. You need to be your number one priority right now


This is me 100%. Though I have the social censor and stop myself from doing acting on the urge to display my anger.


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## donzen (May 13, 2014)

Not a weirdo, he sounds clingy tho.


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## modus (Apr 27, 2011)

I don't think so, just awkward. If you were really super interested in him, you'd find time to text a reply to "good morning" That's the sort of thing that warrants at least a quick response. So right now you're not interested and he's racking his brain for ways to keep a minimum level of communication up.


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## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

The guy must be lonely. I've had my sort of "guy contacts" like that throughout life..whether dating or not.


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## greenee (Sep 11, 2012)

Hi everyone, I've updated my first post. Please read and tell me what you think! Thanks a bunch


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

On top of all that he is cheap and doesn't have a job?.sounds like a loser.


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## James1311 (Dec 31, 2012)

I'm not really sure about the being desperate stuff. What's so bad about wanting a girlfriend a lot anyway? 

The stuff that sounds weird to me is when you said he was spitting food over the table, spilling beer, grabbing your shoulder, taking food off your plate. That makes it sound like someone who doesn't understand whats socially normal, like maybe someone with aspergers would do. I'd be really put off by that in a female.


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## modus (Apr 27, 2011)

Never mind, he's crazy


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## midnightson (Nov 6, 2013)

greenee said:


> Ok, so I was wondering if all these things should be overlooked for a first date since he has told me he enjoyed meeting me and wanted to go for a second date.
> 
> Personally I thought we got on ok and he was genuinely a nice guy but I guess I was a bit put off by the dinner.
> 
> Please tell me your thoughts?


Well I don't think anyone can give you true advice since none of us were there. What do you mean "should" they be overlooked? Are _you willing_ to overlook them? If you are, then go on another date. Don't let people on the internet tell you how to feel.

He doesn't sound dangerous if that's what you're really asking. Awkward and desperate sure, but I don't think you have to worry about being assaulted or something.


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

wtf op how could you put me on blast like that i thought we had something

im never taking you to mcdonalds again


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## greenee (Sep 11, 2012)

Elad said:


> wtf op how could you put me on blast like that i thought we had something
> 
> im never taking you to mcdonalds again


Who are you? I think you're confused. You've got the wrong person. If you spam again ill report you.


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## donzen (May 13, 2014)

Edit: Get out of there while you still can.


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## greenee (Sep 11, 2012)

donzen said:


> Edit: Get out of there while you still can.


Yeah I think so too.

Thank you everyone who replied; you've really helped me come to my senses!


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## Micronian (Nov 11, 2004)

Wow. So many socially-awkward people putting down another socially-awkward guy...

very disappointed with all of you here.

The only thing you need to know, greenee, is if you were happy with the date and if you are excited to go out again. If you weren't, then don't force yourself to go out again so soon. The guy is obviously insecure, but so are you--and I don't blame him if he does weird things because we all do weird things when our anxiety becomes too strong. 

The only advice I can give is to just keep talking, safely, and try to calm the situation down. Speak your mind and give your opinions about how you feel about the situation--especially if you don't like something. How else is the other person going to know??


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## andy0128 (Dec 19, 2003)

He does sound a bit weird. The part where he lied about his height, even though one can sympathize as it's probably going to be a huge turn off to women. On the other hand you could take things slowly with him and see what happens. If he becomes too clingy then get rid of him.


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## jonny neurotic (Jan 20, 2011)

greenee said:


> Who are you? I think you're confused. You've got the wrong person. If you spam again ill report you.


That's a rather extreme reaction to a joke. Sheesh!


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

James1311 said:


> I'm not really sure about the being desperate stuff. What's so bad about wanting a girlfriend a lot anyway?


I know yeah.


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## zoslow (Jun 2, 2014)

Micronian said:


> Wow. So many socially-awkward people putting down another socially-awkward guy...
> 
> very disappointed with all of you here.
> 
> ...


Anxiety or insecurity has nothing to do with things like taking food of your dates plate or not taking on the bill yourself or at least splitting it equally. It also doesn't cause you to lie though considering the guy was pretty short, maybe he was afraid she wouldn't give him a chance if he was honest about his length. One could argue though that the other incidents were due to anxiety and I agree it is her opinion that matters. If she enjoyed the date and wanna do it again, then by all means she should. I just don't see what's wrong in pointing out that the guy seems to lack any manners and has some weird behavior going on.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

greenee said:


> Hi everyone, I've updated my first post. Please read and tell me what you think! Thanks a bunch


 OK. After the update, it seems like he does a lot of things you don't care for. For that reason alone it seems like you might want to keep looking elsewhere. None of these things are necessarily wrong. Although the part where he kept grabbing your shoulder did sound weird. If you didn't like it, you probably should have said something though.

The part about him taking food off your plate sounded odd too. That's just my opinion. I mean, most of us guys here are awkward and I'm not saying awkward people don't do strange things when they're nervous but I wouldn't do that.

The thing about it is if this guy ultimately isn't for you, don't let it completely rule what you think. Like if you meet someone else in the future and they seem a little off. Everyone is different. Yes, bad vibes should be something you pay attention to but if you let the slightest bad vibe put someone in the "weirdo" category, you'll never get anywhere.


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## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

So…there was nothing in your report about positive feelings about having met him and that's what it comes down to. We all have weird moments but if you didn't walk away feeling glad that you met him, walk away. Simple!


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

Micronian said:


> Wow. So many socially-awkward people putting down another socially-awkward guy...


I see this a here quite a few times. Someone here writes about a person they met and start explaining the things they said/did when they were together. Then people just start pointing out all the things they see as odd or creepy and start telling them to leave or cut off contact. If I said I went on a date and the woman didn't make much eye contact, seemed distracted, played on her phone a lot, didn't hold a conversation very well, they'd be all over those things like cockroaches.


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

This guy made a lot of basic mistakes.

1. He showed too much interest too soon. 
2. He lied about his height which made him seem insecure


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## catfreak1991 (May 24, 2014)

Crimson Lotus said:


> Red flags all over the place, if not a creep at least a very desperate and immature guy.
> 
> My advice would be to cut all contact with him immediately.


Desperate and immature? You can make that determination simply from the list a user posted online?

I think it takes guts to admit that you have a psychological disorder. Did you even look up the symptoms of ADD? If you did you'd know that all of the things she described are normal for someone with the condition.

That's what I dislike about society. We're all taught that we have to be super models and rich suit-wearing men, and if we deviate from this cookie-cutter definition of 'normal' than we're all tossed into the junk pile with the rest of the "weirdos".


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

now you have...


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