# very depressed...lost my only friend



## amy94 (Jun 28, 2013)

Hi, I'm new here. well, right now I've just been feeling miserable, much more than usual, because I had a discussion with my guy friend and I basically opened up to him and told him he was my closest friend and he said he didn't want to be that close to me, like he saw me as a friend, but just as a casual friend, nothing more. He was very nice about it, but it still hurt very badly, because really he has been my only real friend these days and I saw him as my best friend. I feel like I pushed him away for good and now I don't even have him as a casual friend. I just feel so lonely and depressed right now. I don't know what to do... I don't have other friends to talk to. I try to put myself out there and make plans with people but they always cancel or say they are too busy. I don't know what's wrong with me, why people don't seem to want anything to do with me... thanks for listening.


----------



## angiemarie (Dec 26, 2011)

Try and not take so much offense to him saying that he isn't your best friend, and just be happy that he is your friend and there for you. He's important to you and there doesn't have to be a label on everything. As far as making new friends goes, only jerks cancel anyway, so you don't need them as friends. Make some new hobbies and meet people that way. Even if you don't have a million things in common, you'll have that one thing in common and have fun spending time doing it with them.


----------



## amy94 (Jun 28, 2013)

thanks, it helped a little.


----------



## quicken (Jun 23, 2013)

It's devastating that happened. You opened up to your friend and that took some big courage to do. It's just he feels differently and that's ok because we are all different. It seems you are looking for a friend that you can really be super close with, through ups and downs. So far I only have casual friends as they could not understand everything about me and I accept that so I don't expect it. It would be nice though to have someone you can really talk to, that wouldn't judge you, wouldn't it. Keep going, someone is out there waiting to be your best friend. There is nothing wrong with you and I'm sure you have much to offer so keep looking for people who have higher priorities for meaningful connections. Fight the pain, stay focused on what you want.


----------



## amy94 (Jun 28, 2013)

thanks ill try, thanks for the kind words


----------



## Alienated (Apr 17, 2013)

Hey Amy it's not you... people everywhere have just become so inverted, and selfish, they can't see past their own little problems. I think some of it is fear, that they don't want to get hurt themselves. Every relationship involves some kind of risk, of getting hurt. And I think your friend just has drawn a line he won't cross.

I am totally alone on Earth, no family, friends, or anything. If you ever want to talk, I would really like that.

I'm Daniel


----------



## Charmander (Sep 5, 2012)

My old friend did the same thing many years ago, I thought of her as my best friend and she just sort of laughed and said we were just normal friends. It sucked at the time but looking back I thought I probably depended on her too much. Try not to depend on someone else for your happiness, because more often than not they'll let you down. And remember it's not your fault that people cancel on you, it's theirs. Don't give up on making friends.


----------



## Kabuki (Jun 4, 2013)

I'm sorry that happened to you. I had one good friend who was always there and now she's gone/completely changed, so I can relate to your feelings of loneliness. I wish people didn't drift apart but that's just the nature of things I guess...


----------



## apparatus (Jul 16, 2013)

ive moved school twice now and lost my old real friends...instead they were replaced with fakes, in which i dont really enjoy hanging round that much. but i do or else otherwise id look like a loner. sighhh its too awkward to find people i connect with now.


----------



## Just Here (Jul 16, 2013)

Sorry for the hurt. I think that its better to knowing this now and got to thinking, that this is a better friend than you think. First of all he was honest and he told you to your face. He could lied and said you where more. Also maybe he'll change in the future but don't count on it. It easy to read more in to a relationship than there.


----------



## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

Don't cut him off, he's still your friend you haven't lost him, maybe the illusion of having a "best friend", but I'm sure if you give it a little time you can go back to what you were. 

That said, I think some people feel stronger faster than others. I know that I care about a LOT of people a lot more than they care about me. Once I realised that it made dealing with things a LOT easier for me. I just stopped believing anyone was my close friend until they or someone else said it first, not in a paranoid and jaded way but... I just stopped assuming that anyone , owed me anything, ya know? It's actually made it easier to connect with people.


----------



## Ryude (Jul 16, 2013)

The important thing is that he recognizes your value as a friend. It kind of sounds like he thought you wanted to date, which may have triggered a response like his. It can be frightening to think of a good friend romantically.


----------



## theCARS1979 (Apr 26, 2010)

*hey*



amy94 said:


> Hi, I'm new here. well, right now I've just been feeling miserable, much more than usual, because I had a discussion with my guy friend and I basically opened up to him and told him he was my closest friend and he said he didn't want to be that close to me, like he saw me as a friend, but just as a casual friend, nothing more. He was very nice about it, but it still hurt very badly, because really he has been my only real friend these days and I saw him as my best friend. I feel like I pushed him away for good and now I don't even have him as a casual friend. I just feel so lonely and depressed right now. I don't know what to do... I don't have other friends to talk to. I try to put myself out there and make plans with people but they always cancel or say they are too busy. I don't know what's wrong with me, why people don't seem to want anything to do with me... thanks for listening.


hey from what I can see your pretty attractive, try to hold your head up and try not to let it get to you. Um i know its easier said then done cause Im going through the same thing with women I beleive and I think I have some years on you.


----------



## inerameia (Jan 26, 2012)

He feels differently and people can't help their feelings, unfortunately. Perhaps you're still friends, just not in the sense that you previously thought. At least he was honest with you. 

I can relate with the feeling of being unwanted because of people being busy or not wanting to talk. It really hurts my self-esteem. I know the reason they are averse is because I'm quiet and awkward, but I'm also insecure so that makes it a lot worse... also I don't know when people are really avoiding me or if they're really just busy so the insecurity about that really stresses me sometimes... hopefully I get better though and won't have to be so dependent on some people...


----------

