# I want to overcome my social shyness



## Sweet Nishu (Jun 3, 2012)

Well to start I am very normal about my looks...but I dont know alwayz peple around me makes those rude comments on my looks:roll.I dont know why..Even the strangers whom I dnt know when I walk on the streets comments on my looks.Some people appreciates but most of them make very rude comments.....like I am dark skinned ...I have a big forehead....My face is not good...etc etc....:blankhmmmm I really fed up with these.I chose to ignore the social situations these days ........like I try not to do lunch in office canteens....do shopping in mall.........usually take shortcuts where there are not may people around ..I love loneliness.......:|.but sum where I know I am ruining my life coz this is not I want to be.I want to accept the way I am and want to face the world confidently with I have..........please help...:blank


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## Floccus Doda (May 31, 2012)

Firstly, congratulations on recognizing that you can't do much about how you look, and that you want to accept the way you are and want to be more confident. It shows that you are a brave person. No one can do much about how they look and, more than looks, the person you are, your personality matters more. Bear in mind that people who judge others based on how pretty or handsome they are are shallow people. Here the score stand: You = 10, shallow people = 0.

Please don't avoid people; learn to ignore their comments about how you look, or better still, learn to not be affected by those comments. You can use humor to tackle these situations. If someone tells you how big your forehead is you can retort by saying ''You know what they say about people with big foreheads? They say people with big foreheads are smarter than people with regular foreheads''. The more you face people and their comments the faster you'll be confident about your looks. If you try to avoid people altogether you will ruin your life. 

That's all I have to offer right now. Try these steps and tell me how it goes. Cheers


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## tjames (Jan 31, 2012)

Hi sweet nishu. I don’t know how things are in India. Maybe people are just more up front about criticism there. I am assuming the caste system is why people criticizing the color of your skin. That doesn’t happen here in the states as much. At least not in the bigger cities. There are so many people here from around the world criticizing someone’s skin tone would be considered racist, ethnocentric, or xenophobic. I am a very good looking guy but for the longest time I thought I was ugly. Part of it was my weight, part of it was comments other made at different points in my life. Another part of it was false beliefs. Now I am working on being more positive about myself. I am taking much better care of myself than I have done in my entire life. I am doing it all for me. My advice to you is to relentlessly compliment yourself. Whenever you hear the word, average come out of your mouth stop and say good looking. Average has a slightly negative connotation. You are good looking so you won’t be lying to yourself. Whenever you catch yourself thinking about someone else’s thoughts about you compliment yourself mentally until the thought disappears. It has worked for me. I drown my negative thoughts out with affirmations about who I am. Don’t be a perfectionist about your compliments either. Are you in good health? If so say you are healthy and fit. Do you do any kind of physical activity? If so call yourself attractive. If you were into women would you date yourself based on your looks? If so then call yourself beautiful and sexy. Whenever people say negative don’t assume anything is wrong with you. Ask yourself, What is going on in this persons life and value system that they believe it is appropriate to belittle positive attributes they can not appreciate? They are saying more about their value system than about how valuable you are. If they can’t see that value they have lost an opportunity to admire a very beautiful image.


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## simpleindian (Oct 25, 2011)

.iam sorry to hear that..................dont feel bad abt it.......dont worry abt what people think abt u..beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder..beauty is perceived by everyone differently....dont judge a book by its cover..nd never judge a person by his/her luks...beauty is not just skin deep.......what matters is what's on the inside not just the outside..u r beautiful inside as well as outside......u r what u r....just have have confidence in urself.be positive nd optimsitic


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## Bluueyyy (Jun 11, 2012)

Those people are rude to say those things to you. If you are happy with the way you look, then I am too. I can't imagine how people can make such comments. Please don't give up.


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