# Made a fake POF profile of a cute girl



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

In 7 minutes I got over 10 messages and 5 live chats! Most of the guys are good looking too.


What's the point if your a dude?

Attraction isn't objective.... haha, yeah right.

Can't wait to see how many flooded messages are in my fake profile tomorrow morning!


----------



## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

You know guys outnumber girls on date sites by a long shot.opcorn


----------



## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

People like you are the worst.


----------



## Hiccups (Jul 15, 2011)

I can understand how it would be easy to let something like this eat away at you, much like the fact there are people in this world that knowingly drink water that makes them ill because it's the only water available to them. should one person that has access to clean water taint their own water supply in a way to compensate because they're not in a position to help?


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Peter Attis said:


> People like you are the worst.


Why's that?


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Hiccups said:


> I can understand how it would be easy to let something like this eat away at you, much like the fact there are people in this world that knowingly drink water that makes them ill because it's the only water available to them. should one person that has access to clean water taint their own water supply in a way to compensate because they're not in a position to help?


It's not eating away at me. If anything, it's good to know the truth.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

What percentage of those guys only want to bang that fake profile? Have you gotten any messages that are longer than 3 sentences and are not spammish? And as I said before, you should make a profile of an average looking girl. I mean yeah, if you are only going for really hot chicks it will be an uphill battle. It all depends on how picky you are.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

komorikun said:


> What percentage of those guys only want to bang that fake profile? Have you gotten any messages that are longer than 3 sentences and are not spammish? And as I said before, you should make a profile of an average looking girl. I mean yeah, if you are only going for really hot chicks it will be an uphill battle. It all depends on how picky you are.


OK, I'll make one of an average looking girl.

A lot of the messages are short btw.


----------



## Desmond1990 (Jan 23, 2012)

Hmm.. I think you'd get exactly the same effect of guys flooding to your profile on here too, if you set your SAS avatar to a picture of a cute girl?.. just like any youtube video with a girl on the thumbnail will get loads more views than the same video with a different thumbnail?.. it's pretty disgusting.


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

I've got a fake female profile up on OKCupid as well. :lol. It is rather amusing to see guys eat out of her hand. It's kinda fun when you are the one with the gun and calling the shots. Guys are so desperate and eager to put in much more work on these dating sites. 

When I am "Phoebe" on the internet, I don't have to make any compromises. Guys will eat out of her hand regardless. But as a guy, I'm sick and tired of trying to appease or trying to get the answers "right". Trying to be a people pleaser. I just want to be myself. One of the main reasons why I have SA is because I'm afraid of showing my true self. I'm afraid the true self would be judged by others. If Phoebe doesn't have to compromise, why should I? Since when did men give women the balance of power in relationships? Why do we give them that power over us? Because we want to "get laid"? They have escorts for that. Oh but if you see a prostitute that makes you a loser right? So then this becomes all about "social status"? So the whole point of "getting laid" is to obtain social standing (of not a loser) right? Of course there's the whole looking for love thing. But women are looking for that just as much, if not more, than guys.... So why are we being the desperate ones? I think it's all about social status.

It felt empowering to not reply to a chick on POF that barely pulled her own weight in conversation. It was like a "**** this, I'm going to live for myself, not to seek validation" moment. Guys need to adopt more of that mentality. A lot of girls on dating sites are lazy conversationalists because they feel they don't have to work for it. Make them work for it. Girls don't want a guy who will kiss their *** just because she's pretty/he wants to get into her pants. They want to earn it deep down.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

phoenixwright said:


> I've got a fake female profile up on OKCupid as well. :lol. It is rather amusing to see guys eat out of her hand. It's kinda fun when you are the one with the gun and calling the shots. Guys are so desperate and eager to put in much more work on these dating sites.
> 
> When I am "Phoebe" on the internet, I don't have to make any compromises. Guys will eat out of her hand regardless. But as a guy, I'm sick and tired of trying to appease. Trying to be a people pleaser. If Phoebe doesn't have to compromise, why should I? Since when did men give women the balance of power in relationships? Why do we give them that power over us? Because we want to "get laid"? They have escorts for that. Oh but if you see a prostitute that makes you a loser right? So then this becomes all about "social status"? So the whole point of "getting laid" is to obtain social standing (of not a loser) right? Of course there's the whole looking for love thing. But women are looking for that just as much, if not more, than guys.... So why are we being the desperate ones?


I think it has to do with what is "most attractive". And without bashing women for it not being their fault, I'm not sure if it's a biological thing for men to be the aggressors or a role that has been passed down this way, idk.

You can't hate people for having "clean water" as someone mentioned earlier, but I think it's good to know what your dealing with. And if I am really fair I'd make a profile of an average girl, which I will, but if you really want to know the results for that then I'll put it in my blog because I got a feeling many people don't want to see it on the forums.

It is especially confusing for guys today because we have to know what we are dealing with. Like me for instance, I've gone out alone to bars and approached many girls just to see what I'm working with. I've kind of realized that putting too much energy into something just isn't right. I think a lot of guys go to online dating sites for this reason but of course competition increases as well. At for someone, whether it be man or woman, who gets rejected a lot they can at least know what they are working with.

I think no one really wants to appease to anyone without good reason.


----------



## Desmond1990 (Jan 23, 2012)

phoenixwright said:


> When I am "Phoebe" on the internet, I don't have to make any compromises. Guys will eat out of her hand regardless. But as a guy, I'm sick and tired of trying to appease. Trying to be a people pleaser. If Phoebe doesn't have to compromise, why should I? Since when did men give women the balance of power in relationships? Why do we give them that power over us? Because we want to "get laid"? They have escorts for that. Oh but if you see a prostitute that makes you a loser right? So then this becomes all about "social status"? So the whole point of "getting laid" is to obtain social standing (of not a loser) right? Of course there's the whole looking for love thing. But women are looking for that just as much, if not more, than guys.... So why are we being the desperate ones? I think it's all about social status.


Lol, you've got a good point..

I always say that each man has two heads, and sometimes he doesn't always think with the upstairs one first? I think a lot more men naturally feel lust towards random women, than women do towards random men.. And I think you're right that men just want to 'conquer' women to put themselves up the social ladder.. I guess genetically speaking, the more men spread their seed, the 'better' they feel like they've done in life?


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

I'm deleting this fake account once the 24 hours is up... i can't delete it until then. I'm already tired of this.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

It's easy getting laid as a woman, sure. Guys who want casual sex are a dime a dozen. Getting into a relationship is not so easy unless you either better looking than average or have low standards. 

Part of the problem with online dating, even more than in real life, is that many people are going for the top 20-30%. Probably guys (even ugly ones) are sending way more messages to hot chicks than average or ugly ones. Of course most don't get too many replies. And in the reverse, women probably respond more to attractive guys. Unfortunately, those same guys are probably already getting too much p***y and just want to get laid (unless the girl is really hot). So many guys are ending up with few to no dates/replies and many women are ending up with horny guys who only want to get laid (if they are not good at weeding out the chaff).


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

komorikun said:


> It's easy getting laid as a woman, sure. Guys who want casual sex are a dime a dozen. Getting into a relationship is not so easy unless you either better looking than average or have low standards.
> 
> Part of the problem with online dating, even more than in real life, is that many people are going for the top 20-30%. Probably guys (even ugly ones) are sending way more messages to hot chicks than average or ugly ones. Of course most don't get too many replies. And in the reverse, women probably respond more to attractive guys. Unfortunately, those same guys are probably already getting too much p***y and just want to get laid (unless the girl is really hot). So many guys are ending up with few to no dates/replies and many women are ending up with horny guys who only want to get laid (if they are not good at weeding out the chaff).


This will never change.

But to be realistic, I believe it still favors women whether they are average or not, and I would say it does to a large degree still nonetheless. I'm not complaining; I'm just calling it how I feel and how I see it. If that is how it is then that's how it is. It sucks, but life ain't fair. And life ain't fair for women either, especially in other areas of life.


----------



## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

Making fake dating profiles is pretty sad. Dont you have anything better to do?


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

komorikun said:


> It's easy getting laid as a woman, sure. Guys who want casual sex are a dime a dozen. Getting into a relationship is not so easy unless you either better looking than average or have low standards.
> 
> Part of the problem with online dating, even more than in real life, is that many people are going for the top 20-30%. Probably guys (even ugly ones) are sending way more messages to hot chicks than average or ugly ones. Of course most don't get too many replies. And in the reverse, women probably respond more to attractive guys. Unfortunately, those same guys are probably already getting too much p***y and just want to get laid (unless the girl is really hot). So many guys are ending up with few to no dates/replies and many women are ending up with horny guys who only want to get laid (if they are not good at weeding out the chaff).


Yeah my "Phoebe" (who is very attractive) got lots of messages. But it was pretty much almost purely for casual sex. Though I did put down on her profile that she was interested in casual sex (in addition to a relationship). But still, I still stressed in the profile that she is interested in a relationship too. And yet most of the approaches are casual sex-related. It seems like that's what guys mostly want deep down on POF/OkCupid. Or maybe it could be that a lot of the guys who are relationship-minded decided not to message her because they thought she was a ****. Heck one of the guys that was IMing with me (while I was roleplaying as the fake female. lol) basically flat-out admitted to me that he would rather date someone with a much lower number. And he asked her if she had HIV and said that she probably has a loose vagina. Yet he still wanted to hook up with Phoebe anyway... Yeah that's right, you think less of her as a human being but you want to **** her anyway. A class act right there.


----------



## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> This will never change.
> 
> But to be realistic, I believe it still favors women whether they are average or not, and I would say it does to a large degree still nonetheless. I'm not complaining; I'm just calling it how I feel and how I see it. If that is how it is then that's how it is. It sucks, but life ain't fair. And life ain't fair for women either, especially in other areas of life.





phoenixwright said:


> Yeah my "Phoebe" (who is very attractive) got lots of messages. But it was pretty much almost purely for casual sex. Though I did put down on her profile that she was interested in casual sex (in addition to a relationship). But still, I still stressed in the profile that she is interested in a relationship too. And yet most of the approaches are casual sex-related. It seems like that's what guys mostly want deep down on POF/OkCupid. Or maybe it could be that a lot of the guys who are relationship-minded decided not to message her because they thought she was a ****. Heck one of the guys that was IMing with me (while I was roleplaying as the fake female. lol) basically flat-out admitted to me that he would rather date someone with a much lower number. And he asked her if she had HIV and said that she probably has a loose vagina. Yet he still wanted to hook up with Phoebe anyway... Yeah that's right, you think less of her as a human being but you want to **** her anyway. A class act right there.


No wonder why online dating is tough on both genders. Since most guys on there have little info on their profiles and low standards on sex, the women raise up their standards.

I'm sure the women that do that have respect for themselves to not be used as a random hookup, just as I would not want to be just a woman's "option."


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Desmond1990 said:


> Lol, you've got a good point..
> 
> I always say that each man has two heads, and sometimes he doesn't always think with the upstairs one first? I think a lot more men naturally feel lust towards random women, than women do towards random men.. And I think you're right that men just want to 'conquer' women to put themselves up the social ladder.. I guess genetically speaking, the more men spread their seed, the 'better' they feel like they've done in life?


Girls want sex too, don't kid yourself. I just think men are put in a strange situation with dating in general. One could even argue the reason men seek sex so much is because the are limited by what they get already. The argument that men are the only ones who want sex is way off. If women were limited to the degree men were with sex you best believe women would be put into that same sexual aggressive position. Women have much power over sex and I would argue this is the reason why it appears women are less sexual creatures because women don't have to go public about it so much. If men truly are more promiscuous I am willing to bet money on the fact that we are more sexually repressed and that is why. Once again, I think if women were put into a man's position regarding sex then they would behave similarly.

Women do lust for random men but they aren't often put in the same position as a man to make it public. Why stress or embarrass yourself publicly when you can get that thing privately already? Thus, the discretion of sex and women. The less attractive you are as a woman the more publicly sexually aggressive you will be in general. Girls can be ****ty privately; men have a harder time doing this. And the reason women get more flack for open sexual behavior is because they have most the power to begin with so it's like someone abusing their power which is scorned. Also, men have a "pat on the back moment" by society to a degree because he can get laid, and the reason for this is because it is that much harder for a man! Once again, if the roles were switched then the opposite would be true for each sex.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

BobtheSaint said:


> No wonder why online dating is tough on both genders. Since most guys on there have little info on their profiles and low standards on sex, the women raise up their standards.
> 
> I'm sure the women that do that have respect for themselves to not be used as a random hookup, just as I would not want to be just a woman's "option."


Wherever the bar or standard is set for someone so does that standard deviate. If somehow the roles were switched, women would behave the same way.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

phoenixwright said:


> Yeah my "Phoebe" (who is very attractive) got lots of messages. But it was pretty much almost purely for casual sex. Though I did put down on her profile that she was interested in casual sex (in addition to a relationship). But still, I still stressed in the profile that she is interested in a relationship too. And yet most of the approaches are casual sex-related. It seems like that's what guys mostly want deep down on POF/OkCupid. Or maybe it could be that a lot of the guys who are relationship-minded decided not to message her because they thought she was a ****. Heck one of the guys that was IMing with me (while I was roleplaying as the fake female. lol) basically flat-out admitted to me that he would rather date someone with a much lower number. And he asked her if she had HIV and said that she probably has a loose vagina. Yet he still wanted to hook up with Phoebe anyway... Yeah that's right, you think less of her as a human being but you want to **** her anyway. A class act right there.


This will never change either.


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> This will never change either.


Yeah exactly. Guys like that, who have this mentality that a woman is damaged goods if she's "been around" are the reason why girls tend to lean towards less promiscuity than men. And hence, they're the reason why it's a lot harder for the average Joe guy to get laid. Girls want sex just as much as men. But there is a social pressure on women to exercise self-restraint. A guy who has sex with lots of women is a "stud" or a "pimp" or a "player". A girl who has sex with lots of men is a "****" with a "loose vagina". It's funny how a guy who wants casual sex would have the nerve to basically talk trash about his supply. It's as if the market value of sex isn't necessarily determined by women. But by men. They're the ones who discourage women from having casual sex by calling them "****s."


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

phoenixwright said:


> Yeah exactly. Guys like that, who have this mentality that a woman is damaged goods if she's "been around" are the reason why girls tend to lean towards less promiscuity than men. And hence, they're the reason why it's a lot harder for the average Joe guy to get laid. Girls want sex just as much as men. But there is a social pressure on women to exercise self-restraint. A guy who has sex with lots of women is a "stud" or a "pimp" or a "player". A girl who has sex with lots of men is a "****" with a "loose vagina". It's funny how a guy who wants casual sex would have the nerve to basically talk trash about his supply. It's as if the market value of sex isn't necessarily determined by women. But by men. They're the ones who discourage women from having casual sex by calling them "****s."


It's not only men who discourage women for having sex but women as well because the easier something is perceived to be the less society thinks you should abuse it; hence the reason why men are praised for sex. However, I think society is finally coming around and allowing women more room for their sexual acts publicly but it's funny because people still get uncomfortable about it. In reality, the ones who usually get uncomfortable are the sexually oppressed whether it be by what they know or physically.


----------



## shynesshellasucks (May 10, 2008)

bwidger85 said:


> What's the point if your a dude?


I'm thinking a profile of a good looking dude would get a lot of replies as well. I also think people in dating sites have their standards set a bit high, I mean come on, we are talking about people in dating sites who are all mostly unsuccessful IRL.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

shynesshellasucks said:


> I'm thinking a profile of a good looking dude would get a lot of replies as well. I also think people in dating sites have their standards set a bit high, I mean come on, we are talking about people in dating sites who are all mostly unsuccessful IRL.


Just because your on a dating site doesn't make you unsuccessful at dating. There are many reason beyond "failure" someone would be online, man or woman.


----------



## missalyssa (Jun 18, 2011)

I've done this.
Yep, if ur a hot girl its easy to get response and attention but most of the msgs were "ur so hot any chance u want to hook up with an older man?" And that kind of thing. I've made her sound like every guy's dream before too lol, sooo many responses, ugh.


----------



## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

Lol I did that once on Plenty of Fish a long time ago. I had joked different times how a woman could use a grocery list for a profile and still get responses, so I decided to try it for lulz. I created a profile as a female in her early 20s, but all I used for a description was a simple grocery list. Milk, bread, eggs, etc. I didn't put any pictures up, only a grocery list. Within the first two days I had over a dozen replies and every time I logged in I was bombarded with chat requests. :lol


----------



## missalyssa (Jun 18, 2011)

Of note: an average girl would get just as many responses, most of the girls on there are straight up dragons.


----------



## MindOverMood (Dec 12, 2009)

Peter and nemesis1 have fell for the old fake dating profile I guess:lol


----------



## LittleSister (Jan 22, 2011)

Truthfully.... I can sign up to a free 'dating' or sex website and have a guy at my door within an hour (maybe less).

I guess now you know what it's like to be swamped by guys who only want one thing !

Ps: Try making a profile of a homely and pudgy girl... There will be just as many responses.


----------



## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

Guys with genuine intentions are rejected just as often as guys who are looking for casual sex on dating sites. That's why I stopped using them. I would actually read women's profiles, and my messages would be about that, not just "ur hot bang now?" Thing is, as you've seen, women get tons of messages on a daily basis. When you've got to sift through that many messages a day, it gets irritating, so they'll quickly resort to basing it off of things like the profile picture, or they'll just read the first 3 words of a message and move on if it wasn't captivating enough. That's why the sites don't work for any guy. The attractive guys who want to pursue a relationship are overshadowed by the skeevy creepers looking for sex. After a woman has been on a dating site for more than week, it quickly becomes "Hot profile picture? If yes, read message, if no, delete." It's streamlined superficiality, which is ironically enough the same thing they hate.

Also, there are plenty of women out there who sign up to dating sites and let the barrage of messages go to their head. Being messaged a lot on a dating site is not a sign that you're attractive. I'm so sick of chatting with girls who've signed up to those sites, and all they talk about is how often they're pursued. I mean yeah, if you need a self-esteem boost, join a dating site, because plenty of guys will acknowledge you exist there. No matter how ghoulish and abrasive you are, you'll still get pursuers, so that means you're hot right?


----------



## StayingMotivated (Sep 5, 2011)

too much time on your hand. guess you like being a fake girl


----------



## StayingMotivated (Sep 5, 2011)

like what did you think was going to happen? isn't it common SENSE that attractive females get approached by men (a lot of men)? or you just had to see for yourself? so what did you accomplish? did it help your SA? did you get a date? LOL


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I know a lot of guys who have done this, with similar results.


----------



## StayingMotivated (Sep 5, 2011)

WintersTale said:


> I know a lot of guys who have done this, with similar results.


that's sad that many guys do this . guess they need to see it with their own eyes-where have they been living? under a rock?

I'm sorry but it seems like common sense to me like 1+1=2 . Women have the vagina we run the universe.  I'd be MAD if I was male and just found this out.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

MindOverMood said:


> Peter and nemesis1 have fell for the old fake dating profile I guess:lol


lol.

If your gonna say I'm the worst for doing something like this at least give me some reasons next time lol


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

missalyssa said:


> Of note: an average girl would get just as many responses, most of the girls on there are straight up dragons.


Like I said, I didn't make this thread or that profile to blame girls. I do want to try an average girl's picture though. I'll make one soon and put it in my blog. If the responses are still heavy then that's crazy.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

LittleSister said:


> Ps: Try making a profile of a homely and pudgy girl... There will be just as many responses.


Ok, I'll try that too.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

I just think it's crazy. How do girls manage all this without getting annoyed or frustrated?


----------



## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

I don't mean to sound like an ***, but if that's where you are mentally (sitting around making fake internet dating profiles to prove some kind of point), you need to reevaluate where you are in life.

I know it sounds totally dickish, and I don't mean it in that way. But look at it this way, would a girl want to date someone that does stuff like that? Pretty girls, heck even average girls are always gonna get hit on more than the typical dude. It's just something that you have to accept, and try not to be bitter about. Just work on your personality/confidence/self-esteem and hope you find someone that can appreciate you for you.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

sean88 said:


> I don't mean to sound like an ***, but if that's where you are mentally (sitting around making fake internet dating profiles to prove some kind of point), you need to reevaluate where you are in life.
> 
> I know it sounds totally dickish, and I don't mean it in that way. But look at it this way, would a girl want to date someone that does stuff like that? Pretty girls, heck even average girls are always gonna get hit on more than the typical dude. It's just something that you have to accept, and try not to be bitter about. Just work on your personality/confidence/self-esteem and hope you find someone that can appreciate you for you.


I don't think it matters.

Would a girl want to date someone who posts on SAS forums? It's the same thing. And if a girl ever asked me if I made a fake profile before I'd tell her.

I do accept it. It's just crazy to see it happen sometimes is all.


----------



## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

bwidger85 said:


> I don't think it matters.
> 
> Would a girl want to date someone who posts on SAS forums? It's the same thing. And if a girl ever asked me if I made a fake profile before I'd tell her.
> 
> I do accept it. It's just crazy to see it happen sometimes is all.


Posting in a SA forum for self-improvement is no where near the same thing as making a fake dating profile. The first is constructive, the second serves no purpose but to reinforce a cynical thought process.


----------



## LittleSister (Jan 22, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> Ok, I'll try that too.


Look... I concede that there are evil women out there... Hence why I don't hang around with most of them, but there's also good ones. I don't know what else to tell you.

Ask me anything


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

LittleSister said:


> Look... I concede that there are evil women out there... Hence why I don't hang around with most of them, but there's also good ones. I don't know what else to tell you.
> 
> Ask me anything


No, I agree, there are great women out there. This thread wasn't intended to knock women at all. Like I said earlier, it's just what it is. People getting uptight about this need to relax. And whether this is "common sense" or not, it's pretty crazy to see it happen nonetheless


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

sean88 said:


> Posting in a SA forum for self-improvement is no where near the same thing as making a fake dating profile. The first is constructive, the second serves no purpose but to reinforce a cynical thought process.


And you'd never try this because you know better I assume, right?

Besides, I have plenty time on my hands. My 200+ messages I sent out yesterday are still pending the waste bin lol.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Btw, I don't think I'm going to make more fake profiles of any other girls. I sincerely don't care anymore. I think we all know what it'll be like. The prettier you are the more messages and the opposite is true for others. If I were to pick a different fake profile I assume I'll still get a decent amount of messages, but not nearly as much.

I'm going to delete the fake one I have now since 24 hours has been up and they will allow me to.

Ugh, nvm, 24 hours hasn't happened yet


----------



## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

making fake profiles is fine, I used to do it all the time for research and analysis.
I dont see what the big deal is.

But yeah, this research clearly tells us guys to not bother using dating sites seriously.

Far better methods for meeting others include: 
-joining clubs 
-online forums in which you are interested in(not just to meet people)
-hanging out with friends and meeting their friends
-meeting people at work/school
-co-ed sports team 
-dance class
-jumping from roommate to roommate


----------



## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> Wherever the bar or standard is set for someone so does that standard deviate. If somehow the roles were switched, women would behave the same way.


True. The imbalance can go both ways. When there's a scarcity of x, there's going to be an abundance of y.


----------



## jg43i9jghy0t4555 (Jul 31, 2011)

Interesting thread..

But I don't see any actual useful data you're gaining out of this, online dating profiles are far too vague.



Rainbat said:


> Also, there are plenty of women out there who sign up to dating sites and let the barrage of messages go to their head.


And this


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

_AJ_ said:


> making fake profiles is fine, I used to do it all the time for research and analysis.
> I dont see what the big deal is.
> 
> But yeah, this research clearly tells us guys to not bother using dating sites seriously.
> ...


Since graduating University, this whole thing has eluded me. I've no clue where guys are finding girlfriends. A friend of mine found one through a friend of a friend. But every time I meet a girl through a friend of a friend, I get the sense that she's not interested for one reason or another. That's why I have been thinking of sticking with the dating sites. Since I at least know that's where you can find single women who are looking and there is a huge supply of them (but there is also lots of male competition obviously). But at the same time I don't feel like investing too much effort into each girl individually (unless she seems into me) because it's just not worth it. Nowadays when I see that things are going nowhere (ie. it feels like pulling teeth to talk to a girl), I just move on. Waste of my time. It didn't feel like pulling teeth when I would talk to my ex-girlfriend (who I met on an online chat room years ago).

Funny thing is, I've seen women on OkCupid who were single the first time I met them when I joined back in summer 2011 who are still single today. Like what's going on? Going months and months and months without a boyfriend when these girls clearly have options. Are these girls having casual hookups (probably with the polygamous, promiscuous top 20% of guys, who will have sex with mud even) in the mean time to satisfy sexual urges while they try to look for Mr. Right? I can't imagine that a girl who can get sex very easily would go without sex for so long unless she had a low sex drive. Girls want sex just as much as men.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

phoenixwright said:


> Since graduating University, this whole thing has eluded me. I've no clue where guys are finding girlfriends. A friend of mine found one through a friend of a friend. But every time I meet a girl through a friend of a friend, I get the sense that she's not interested for one reason or another. That's why I have been thinking of sticking with the dating sites. Since I at least know that's where you can find single women who are looking and there is a huge supply of them (but there is also lots of male competition obviously). But at the same time I don't feel like investing too much effort into each girl individually (unless she seems into me) because it's just not worth it. Nowadays when I see that things are going nowhere (ie. it feels like pulling teeth to talk to a girl), I just move on. Waste of my time. It didn't feel like pulling teeth when I would talk to my ex-girlfriend (who I met on an online chat room years ago).


Oh yes, you are learning brother.

Walking on egg shells is very common for men with dating. You have little room to deviate or it's over before it even began. I've become really good at telling via text, phone, in person, etc., if a girl is BS'n me or not or dragging me along. When it comes to the point where I sincerely don't know I eventually ask to clear confusion. It SHOULD NOT feel like your pulling teeth to make a connection or a girlfriend. I used to think this was the case but then I realized they weren't serious to begin with. In general, when a girl is actually interested it will be very smooth not because you say the right things but because she allows it. The more I get rejected and the more I try different places to meet girls the more I get better at seeing what works and what doesn't, and it's a 50/50 type thing in which you can only do your part (50%) while you wait for the girl to do hers (the other 50%). You cannot control more than your own behavior. In a way this helps because you know how to react and you realize when your trying too hard or when your putting too much energy into something that is unnecessary.



> Funny thing is, I've seen women on OkCupid who were single the first time I met them when I joined back in summer 2011 who are still single today. Like what's going on? Going months and months and months without a boyfriend when these girls clearly have options. Are these girls having casual hookups (probably with the polygamous, promiscuous top 20% of guys, who will have sex with mud even) in the mean time to satisfy sexual urges while they try to look for Mr. Right? I can't imagine that a girl who can get sex very easily would go without sex for so long unless she had a low sex drive. Girls want sex just as much as men.


Well, a few reasons for this:

1. It's a fake profile
2. They are hardly on it and haven't erased it
3. It hurts them deeply to be rejected after sex so they become intolerant of allowing the experience to happen easily (i once knew a girl who told me she has a 3 date rule before she sleeps with someone).
4. They are having multiple sexual experiences but lying about it and being hypocritical
5. They could have HUGE emotional problems they need to deal with

I don't believe it's because a low sex drive. I think most of the time a woman's low sex drive is based on fear.


----------



## yourfavestoner (Jan 14, 2010)

bwidger85 said:


> Girls want sex too, don't kid yourself. I just think men are put in a strange situation with dating in general. One could even argue the reason men seek sex so much is because the are limited by what they get already. The argument that men are the only ones who want sex is way off. If women were limited to the degree men were with sex you best believe women would be put into that same sexual aggressive position. Women have much power over sex and I would argue this is the reason why it appears women are less sexual creatures because women don't have to go public about it so much. If men truly are more promiscuous I am willing to bet money on the fact that we are more sexually repressed and that is why. Once again, I think if women were put into a man's position regarding sex then they would behave similarly.
> 
> Women do lust for random men but they aren't often put in the same position as a man to make it public. Why stress or embarrass yourself publicly when you can get that thing privately already? Thus, the discretion of sex and women. The less attractive you are as a woman the more publicly sexually aggressive you will be in general. Girls can be ****ty privately; men have a harder time doing this. And the reason women get more flack for open sexual behavior is because they have most the power to begin with so it's like someone abusing their power which is scorned. Also, men have a "pat on the back moment" by society to a degree because he can get laid, and the reason for this is because it is that much harder for a man! Once again, if the roles were switched then the opposite would be true for each sex.


Money.


----------



## hoddesdon (Jul 28, 2011)

This is not cool.


----------



## brownzerg (Jan 8, 2012)

I have a profile on Okcupid, a Legit profile. Ive answered something like 800+ questions most of which public. I've got a lengthy description that I decided to try to keep short so that maybe people would actually read it. I've got recent photos of myself too. 
I've sent out about twelve messages to ladies in my local area (within 50 miles) some were a bit "out of my league" and others were a bit average. Weights varied.

Its been going on perhaps a month or so now? and I've gotten 0 responses to my long and thoughtful messages of interest in getting to know them better.
It could be i'm stuck in the slush pile of messages that they get everyday by casual seekers, or perhaps they've just given up on the idea. However most of them are online almost daily so, what gives?
I do have my "casual" box checked mostly because I figure nobody's gonna take me up on it anyway so screw it. 

I've not gotten a single out of the blue message from anyone that I didn't initiate contact with either. 
I don't check it all that often anymore and quite frankly feel my chances are better getting into a meaningful relationship with an SASer than anyone on that site...

*shameless plug* I've thought also that the ladies here are alot prettier */shameless plug*

:stu i dunno... World keeps on spinnin'


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Did you beat my 60 messages per day Bwidger?

I don't even need fake photos! :lol



Auron said:


> The fact that someone did it doesnt mean he is a bad person with no life.


Nah not a bad person, but definitely no life lmao.

Also the amount of people "testing" out the site with fake profiles is 100% annoying.


----------



## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

So did you honestly find out anything that you didn't know before the experiment? Some of the posts here were extremely long, so I didnt read everything...

Yeah, people IRL are shallow and people on dating sites are shallow. Nothing new there...
I suppose that's one drawback of human nature. :stu


----------



## Ashley1990 (Aug 27, 2011)

Haha..its funny......i guess everyone on SAS is real not fake like this..


----------



## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

we should make more fake profiles with varieties of different looking people both male and female and see the results, it would be most interesting


----------



## NoName99 (Jul 3, 2011)

I've gotten a few replies on OkCupid, but they make no effort to keep the conversation going. I try to show interest and get to know about them, but I'm the one asking all the questions, and then after a few, they stop replying. I wonder why the hell they reply in the first place, if they're not going to reciprocate any interest whatsoever. It's a purely narcissistic exercise for them, I gather.


----------



## OldSchoolSkater (Jun 3, 2011)

I haven't read through all of the posts in this thread but read the first page.

OP, Has this made you feel better about dating sites? Has this changed your mind about using them? I just want to know what the end goal of this deceptiveness is.

Keep in mind that some of the guys messaging you might be pretty depressed that they didn't receive a response. "Was I too ugly? Do I not have anything interesting in my profile?" etc. It just seems that you are doing to these guys what you complain about women doing to you on these sites.

Also, I just want to state that I personally find this to a be a terribly wrong "experiment."


----------



## jessckuh (Jul 27, 2010)

How many of those messages protain to a relationship though? LOL, nothing but a bunch of horny messages I bet.


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Creating a fake girl profile is such a waste of time. We all know what the outcome would be, what is the point of that experiment? Might as well use that time to improve your real profile and message girls.


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

NoName99 said:


> I've gotten a few replies on OkCupid, but they make no effort to keep the conversation going. I try to show interest and get to know about them, but I'm the one asking all the questions, and then after a few, they stop replying. I wonder why the hell they reply in the first place, if they're not going to reciprocate any interest whatsoever. It's a purely narcissistic exercise for them, I gather.


Yeah that's what happened to me. Except I was the one who said "f this" and stopped replying to them! Like bwidger said. It's supposed to be a 50/50. A give and take. If a girl likes you, I'd imagine that she'd actually put in the effort to carry her own weight in a conversation.


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

phoenixwright:1059621018 said:


> NoName99 said:
> 
> 
> > I've gotten a few replies on OkCupid, but they make no effort to keep the conversation going. I try to show interest and get to know about them, but I'm the one asking all the questions, and then after a few, they stop replying. I wonder why the hell they reply in the first place, if they're not going to reciprocate any interest whatsoever. It's a purely narcissistic exercise for them, I gather.
> ...


A girl will only do that if there is that immediate attraction (usually based on your profile pics). Other than that..it's up to the guy to charm the girl. It's always been that way, stop being lazy all of you and work on becoming more charming. Ya bastids.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

rymo said:


> Creating a fake girl profile is such a waste of time. We all know what the outcome would be, what is the point of that experiment? Might as well use that time to improve your real profile and message girls.


I didn't think it was pointless. I learned a few things from it.

Did I hurt your feelings?


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

bwidger85:1059621238 said:


> rymo said:
> 
> 
> > Creating a fake girl profile is such a waste of time. We all know what the outcome would be, what is the point of that experiment? Might as well use that time to improve your real profile and message girls.
> ...


Yes, I am contemplating suicide because you created a fake profile. Thanks a lot, buddy.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

OldSchoolSkater said:


> I haven't read through all of the posts in this thread but read the first page.
> 
> OP, Has this made you feel better about dating sites? Has this changed your mind about using them? I just want to know what the end goal of this deceptiveness is.
> 
> ...


Relax. I'm sure as a guy they are used to this on POF. I didn't message them back and I deleted the account.

Things I learned:

1. What it's like to be a cute girl on POF
2. What my competition is and what I'm dealing with
3. How it feels to be a girl on POF and how that pertains to my success/failure (the more I know the less I take it personally)

If you'd like to continue to disagree with me saying I didn't learn anything you can but that's your perspective.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

rymo said:


> Yes, I am contemplating suicide because you created a fake profile. Thanks a lot, buddy.


Glad I could help


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

I'm not advocating anyone do this I just shared what I did. I'm not saying anyone should do this guys. geesh. it was one day. chill. i was curious. i'm sorry?


----------



## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

phoenixwright said:


> Yeah that's what happened to me. Except I was the one who said "f this" and stopped replying to them! Like bwidger said. It's supposed to be a 50/50. A give and take. *If a girl likes you, I'd imagine that she'd actually put in the effort to carry her own weight in a conversation.*


This. :yes :yes


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

I mean, if you guys only SAW how much this 1 girl got messages....

I really doubt you guys would believe it...

To me, that's amazing.

In 1 day she literally got over 100!

The picture isn't even model-like or perfect or w/e. It's just a picture of some random cute girl. To me, that's amazing and more than I imagined!

Feels like every guy on POF messaged me in one day! That's freakin amazing man..i don't care what anyone says.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Why is it this way? It just is, and that is mind boggling to me.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

For all those offended, let me ask you, why does it offend you? I can think of some reasons why it may but I want to hear it from you. Maybe it doesn't offend you, then why are you against this? Manipulation?


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

bwidger85:1059621245 said:


> I'm not advocating anyone do this I just shared what I did. I'm not saying anyone should do this guys. geesh. it was one day. chill. i was curious. i'm sorry?


Why are you apologizing? Just because some people think your results are obvious and the experiment was a waste of time doesn't mean they are angry with you. Why are you so defensive? That sensitiveness just tells me that you are afraid of rejection in any capacity, including putting yourself out there for real on a dating site.


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

rymo said:


> A girl will only do that if there is that immediate attraction (usually based on your profile pics). Other than that..it's up to the guy to charm the girl. It's always been that way, stop being lazy all of you and work on becoming more charming. Ya bastids.


So basically you're advocating that guys be desperate people pleasers? There's nothing about her that interested me. I noticed we had similar hobbies (gaming/anime) she didn't seem keen on talking about that much. She didn't even have a pic up on her profile! (she had checked out my profile so I figured she might have been interested. So I messaged her). Guys need to start a revolution and say NO to kissing a woman's *** just because she has a vagina. Guys should set some standards for themselves and stop being so desperate, bombarding girls with messages and feeding their egos. Having set up a fake female profile before and seen how much guys would pathetically kiss her ***, it was a sad site to watch. Men are pathetic. They base their own self-worth on getting laid. They have no self-respect for themselves. And I'm tired of not having respect for myself and chasing after girls like I'm desperate. They're supposed to meet you half-way. Give and take. If they don't, I just assume they aren't interested and move on to the next.

Maybe I'm just really upset because I got taken for a ride not that long ago by a girl who was practically married in a long-term relationship with a guy throughout the entire time that she was chatting with me online. I was just another guy online to flirt with to her. She told me that she loved me (that was a redflag. I never told her that I loved her back. I didn't. But I did like her and I allowed myself to get emotionally involved). Yet she had a boyfriend the entire time. I kissed her *** so much and bent over backwards for her so much. I regret it. I don't want anything to do with girls who waste my time.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

rymo said:


> Why are you apologizing? Just because some people think your results are obvious and the experiment was a waste of time doesn't mean they are angry with you. Why are you so defensive? That sensitiveness just tells me that you are afraid of rejection in any capacity, including putting yourself out there for real on a dating site.


That "sorry" was sarcasm. Maybe I am sensitive to your guy's reaction. Is that supposed to make me feel bad? Does that make me any worse of a person? No.

If I was afraid of rejection I wouldn't of been rejected more than 1,000 times in less than a few years.

If you have no problem with what I did then that's cool. If you have a problem with what I did then that's cool. I'm curious as to what you think is all.

EDIT
Btw, I am still somewhat afraid of rejection. This doesn't make me feel any less of a person because of it. I accept my insecurities but I also don't run from them.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

phoenixwright said:


> So basically you're advocating that guys be desperate people pleasers? There's nothing about her that interested me. I noticed we had similar hobbies (gaming/anime) she didn't seem keen on talking about that much. She didn't even have a pic up on her profile! (she had checked out my profile so I figured she might have been interested. So I messaged her). She's the one who is lazy with a sense of entitlement. Just like a lot of women on POF/OkCupid. Guys need to start a revolution and say NO to kissing a woman's *** just because she has a vagina. Guys should set some standards for themselves and stop being so desperate, bombarding girls with messages and feeding their egos. Having set up a fake female profile before and seen how much guys would pathetically kiss her ***, it was a sad site to watch. Men are pathetic. They base their own self-worth on getting laid. They have no self-respect for themselves.


I agree that men shouldn't kiss ***, but I disagree that men should stop approaching women whether via email or in person. As far as I can tell, it's our job most the time and women appreciate it.


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> I agree that men shouldn't kiss ***, but I disagree that men should stop approaching women whether via email or in person. As far as I can tell, it's our job most the time and women appreciate it.


I don't mind approaching. But if it feels like pulling teeth trying to get a girl to pull her weight in conversation, it's just not fun for me.


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

bwidger85:1059621301 said:


> rymo said:
> 
> 
> > Why are you apologizing? Just because some people think your results are obvious and the experiment was a waste of time doesn't mean they are angry with you. Why are you so defensive? That sensitiveness just tells me that you are afraid of rejection in any capacity, including putting yourself out there for real on a dating site.
> ...


And no one is saying you are not a good person...

Personally this reminds me of research findings that are really really obvious: people who are depressed are less productive than their happier counterparts! It's like...duh...

Now, since your research didn't require tax dollars to perform, no one is going to be mad. But its results are still so painfully obvious. It sounds fun to do if nothing else, but on a forum filled with people desperate for dates, I just find it much more productive to focus on the positives of online dating and increasing your chances rather than worrying about the opposite sex and how much easier they have it. We can't change how things work when it comes to online dating, we can only make the best out of it.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

phoenixwright said:


> I don't mind approaching. But if it feels like pulling teeth trying to get a girl to pull her weight in conversation, it's just not fun for me.


It's kind of the burden of an aggressor or pursuer, but I know what you mean. Online it's almost nice that you don't have to deal with this as much as they simply ignore your emails, but in person they are more complimentary toward conversation, but that's how it is sometimes. If you feel like your pulling teeth to converse with a girl then that is a pretty sure sign she's not interested.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

rymo said:


> And no one is saying you are not a good person...
> 
> Personally this reminds me of research findings that are really really obvious: people who are depressed are less productive than their happier counterparts! It's like...duh...
> 
> Now, since your research didn't require tax dollars to perform, no one is going to be mad. But its results are still so painfully obvious. It sounds fun to do if nothing else, but on a forum filled with people desperate for dates, I just find it much more productive to focus on the positives of online dating and increasing your chances rather than worrying about the opposite sex and how much easier they have it. We can't change how things work when it comes to online dating, we can only make the best out of it.


I see your point, but perhaps your missing mine. My point isn't to wallow, although I do admit my starting post was kind of this way. For me I only heard of girls getting that much attention online but I've never seen it. Who's to say what I was doing was to self-pity? Personally, I did it mainly because I was curious. And even if I was wallowing for a brief moment, am I not aloud to do so? Sometimes people need to experience and realize things to be able to move on. It may of been obvious to you, and I'm glad for you, but I honestly didn't expect that high of a response rate even though I heard of it before, and it really shocked me. If that is how it is on POF then I'll accept it but I see no harm in investigating if your not stringing anyone along.


----------



## OldSchoolSkater (Jun 3, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> Relax. I'm sure as a guy they are used to this on POF. I didn't message them back and I deleted the account.
> 
> Things I learned:
> 
> ...


I never said you didn't learn anything, and I was not arguing one bit.

I simply did not find that this "experiment" was necessary or even beneficial. All you have done is prove to yourself that women have it easier, when in fact we've seen here through the forums that this is not true nor is it fair to claim.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

OldSchoolSkater said:


> I never said you didn't learn anything, and I was not arguing one bit.
> 
> I simply did not find that this "experiment" was necessary or even beneficial. All you have done is prove to yourself that women have it easier, when in fact we've seen here through the forums that this is not true nor is it fair to claim.


If you read my earlier posts in this thread you would of seen that I realize women have harder aspects of reality. I'm not doing a pointing game here. Once again, that's your perspective and not mine. I also realize that not ALL women get this type of response rate, which is why I won't bother with making any more profiles like I did.


----------



## NoName99 (Jul 3, 2011)

rymo said:


> A girl will only do that if there is that immediate attraction (usually based on your profile pics). Other than that..it's up to the guy to charm the girl. It's always been that way, stop being lazy all of you and work on becoming more charming.


I disagree. If a girl needs to be "charmed" into showing even just a minimum of interest in me, then she's not my kind of girl, whether she does it online or IRL. It would seem, though, that on dating sites where the male-to-female ration is huge, that's the norm, so I'm s**t outta luck.



rymo said:


> *Ya bastids.*





rymo said:


> Yes, I am *contemplating suicide* because you created a fake profile. Thanks a lot, buddy.


I can help you with that, you... ugly, cave-dwelling neanderthal. :steam


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

NoName99:1059621351 said:


> rymo said:
> 
> 
> > A girl will only do that if there is that immediate attraction (usually based on your profile pics). Other than that..it's up to the guy to charm the girl. It's always been that way, stop being lazy all of you and work on becoming more charming.
> ...


lol...man you're only SOL because you think you're SOL. And of course a girl needs to be charmed online! I don't care how nice and amazing the girl is, they get tons of messages all the time so they absolutely deserve to be discriminatory. You can't hold that against them in that arena.


----------



## NoName99 (Jul 3, 2011)

rymo said:


> lol...man you're only SOL because you think you're SOL. And of course a girl needs to be charmed online! I don't care how nice and amazing the girl is, they get tons of messages all the time so they absolutely deserve to be discriminatory. You can't hold that against them in that arena.


I don't. It's just not my thing.


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

rymo said:


> lol...man you're only SOL because you think you're SOL. And of course a girl needs to be charmed online! I don't care how nice and amazing the girl is, they get tons of messages all the time so they absolutely deserve to be discriminatory. You can't hold that against them in that arena.


I would say that it's hard for my charm to come out until I'm having a real conversation with a girl in-person (I have been attending SA meets lately. So I have had the opportunity to socialize in group settings and one-on-one on the regular now. And I find that I'm getting better at socializing face-to-face) or through instant messaging or text messaging. I don't do well with e-mail. When I was talking to that last girl on POF, I tried IMing her on POF Chat after we had a couple e-mail exchanges and she didn't respond. So I sent her a third e-mail and I just wasn't impressed with her response. She didn't seem interested in me at all. I was dictating the conversation.

I understand that girls get bombarded. But if it feels like your pulling teeth, is it even worth it? Wouldn't my time best be used talking to others girls who are actually eager to chat?


----------



## alte (Sep 4, 2010)

calichick said:


> Did you beat my 60 messages per day Bwidger?


That is seriously mind-boggling. 60 messages for one person in a single day? How? Is this common?

That's an entirely different level from where I am at and confirms to me, my general suckiness. I thought I wasn't doing too bad with 100 ish messages over 3.5 years.


----------



## talisman (Aug 5, 2005)

hrmm quite an interesting thread. I guess the results of creating fake profiles are predictable, but its comforting to know my lack of success on dating sites is really very much out of my control and not down to me being totally unattractive.

That said I do worry how many fake profiles I may have innocently messaged in my time. lol

It would be great if someone could design a dating site that was fairer to men (and indeed women who have to put up with all that 'spam'), but I really struggle to see how a dating system could be made to work with such an imbalance of men to women.

Of course forums are in some ways much better. You have to put more effort into finding someone single and interested, but you do avoid a lot of the competition found on traditional dating sites.

If only we could have the best of both!


----------



## meeps (Dec 5, 2011)

so you're using random people's photos? :um


----------



## alte (Sep 4, 2010)

bwidger85 said:


> I'm not advocating anyone do this I just shared what I did. I'm not saying anyone should do this guys. geesh. it was one day. chill. i was curious. i'm sorry?


I thought what you did and the results you found were interesting.

Thanks for making this thread.


----------



## NoName99 (Jul 3, 2011)

talisman said:


> It would be great if someone could design a dating site that was fairer to men (and indeed women who have to put up with all that 'spam'), but I really struggle to see how a dating system could be made to work with such an imbalance of men to women.


They could make registration for males limited by a value dependent on the total of registered females.


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

talisman said:


> hrmm quite an interesting thread. I guess the results of creating fake profiles are predictable, but its comforting to know my lack of success on dating sites is really very much out of my control and not down to me being totally unattractive.
> 
> That said I do worry how many fake profiles I may have innocently messaged in my time. lol
> 
> ...


eHarmony is not a sausage fest like POF and OkCupid. In fact I think eHarmony has a slightly higher female ratio. But eHarmony is a pay site. Therefore you have to be really serious about what you do on there. Or else you're just wasting your money. It's like $45/month or something like that.

Personally I wouldn't mind a site that had a "girls join free, guys pay" business model for sausage control (keeping an even single male:female ratio). That's what they do at nightclubs. The guys who aren't willing to pay will always have POF and OkCupid. Though a lot of pay sites are scams and you have to watch out for that. I think match.com uses scam tactics for one (the site puts up fake profiles to entice guys into subscribing so that they can message these girls). eHarmony isn't a scam though I don't think. I think lavalife has a "guys pay, girls join free" business model. But I don't know how legit that site is.


----------



## alte (Sep 4, 2010)

OldSchoolSkater said:


> I never said you didn't learn anything, and I was not arguing one bit.
> 
> I simply did not find that this "experiment" was necessary or even beneficial. All you have done is prove to yourself that women have it easier, when in fact we've seen here through the forums that this is not true nor is it fair to claim.


It would be nice if everyone started on a level playing field but this simply isnt true. Haven't you heard life isn't fair? People born into wealthy families have it easier, people from families with connections have it easier, attractive people have advantages over average looking folks. Men have it easier in the workplace with ability to earn higher wages simply because they are men. They don't have to worry about child bearing and child rearing interfering with their careers, for example. Why is it then taboo to say, women have it easier to find dating partners?

The above applies to the average individual only and is not true for everyone.

Now we could argue whether bringing up these differences is helpful and I think we would both agree that it is often hurtful because it minimizes/doesn't acknowledge some people's struggles. This I completely understand and is the reason I stay away from such discussions which seem to come up way too often on this board.


----------



## gusstaf (Jan 1, 2012)

alte said:


> It would be nice if everyone started on a level playing field but this simply isnt true. Haven't you heard life isn't fair? People born into wealthy families have it easier, people from families with connections have it easier, attractive people have advantages over average looking folks. Men have it easier in the workplace with ability to earn higher wages simply because they are men. They don't have to worry about child bearing and child rearing interfering with their careers, for example. Why is it then taboo to say, women have it easier to find dating partners?
> 
> The above applies to the average individual only and is not true for everyone.
> 
> Now we could argue whether bringing up these differences is helpful and I think we would both agree that it is often hurtful because it minimizes/doesn't acknowledge some people's struggles. This I completely understand and is the reason I stay away from such discussions which seem to come up way too often on this board.


I'd like to point out that dating partners and sex buddies are completely different things. And that not all women have it easy. Those of us who rank 5 or below on the scale have a rotten time finding partners.


----------



## alte (Sep 4, 2010)

gustafsg said:


> I'd like to point out that dating partners and sex buddies are completely different things. And that not all women have it easy. Those of us who rank 5 or below on the scale have a rotten time finding partners.


Yes, I agree with you. Men are too superficial, I wish this wasn't the case.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

alte said:


> That is seriously mind-boggling. 60 messages for one person in a single day? How? Is this common?
> 
> That's an entirely different level from where I am at and confirms to me, my general suckiness. I thought I wasn't doing too bad with 100 ish messages over 3.5 years.


yea but most of the guys are ghetto...I rarely have serious intentions going on sites like that


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

alte said:


> Yes, I agree with you. Men are too superficial, I wish this wasn't the case.


And women aren't? :lol. Everyone is superficial. Why do you think social anxiety even exists? Because people do judge others. It's just that people with SA tend to over-exaggerate things.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

talisman said:


> hrmm quite an interesting thread. I guess the results of creating fake profiles are predictable, but its comforting to know my lack of success on dating sites is really very much out of my control and not down to me being totally unattractive.


exxxaaaaaacttttlllyyyyy. maybe we are ugly or average or w/e, but regardless, from the emails i saw with the hansom guys who sent it, it doesn't matter to a large degree what you look like because after a while your just another cute guy in the face of dozens others, so regardless it STILL isn't about looks. not saying this is the main reason just throwing that out there, which i found interesting.

Also, even though some women do get a mind-boggling amount of messages, like caligirl said, most guys are "ghetto", or like another girl here said, "most guys only want sex on POF", etc, etc...

to say i didn't learn anything from this, i can honestly say i'd be lying. i actually wish i would of read more of the emails sent before i deleted the profile so i can get a sense of what girls are talking about.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

roylee1970 said:


> You're not talking to these guys giving them false hope are you. That would be cruel.


No, I didn't respond to not 1 email I received nor did I accept any incoming live chat invitations. Now, if I did really go so far as to manipulate and toy with the guys then, yes, I would agree that is cruel and wrong. I mean, I really didn't have to respond -- seeing all those messages I already knew that if I emailed someone back they'd try to advance the situation. I felt no need to respond.


----------



## alte (Sep 4, 2010)

phoenixwright said:


> And women aren't? :lol. Everyone is superficial. Why do you think social anxiety even exists? Because people do judge others. It's just that people with SA tend to over-exaggerate things.


By superficial, I mean basing relationship decisions on looks only or atleast placing a great deal of importance on it. Men are more likely to do this than women. This does not make them bad. This is how our brains work (I am a guy).

gustafsg said below average woman don't get much interest from men. This makes sense to me since men as a group tend to value appearance a lot. This divides women into extremes with the average to above average getting a great deal of interest while those not so lucky in the looks department having a horribly and unfairly hard time.

Just my thoughts.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

^Average women still trump good looking guys in the "being hit" on department; I ensure you of that. Average looking women will still get hit on if they go to a bar or POF unless they have a really bad vibe or something really strange about them. But I'm not complaining, they have different things to deal with.


----------



## alte (Sep 4, 2010)

bwidger85 said:


> ^Average women still trump good looking guys in the "being hit" on department; I ensure you of that. Average looking women will still get hit on if they go to a bar or POF unless they have a really bad vibe or something really strange about them. But I'm not complaining, they have different things to deal with.


I can believe this happening but getting "hit on" excessively can be problematic and can get annoying too, I guess. Also, with the way society is, ideally, you are supposed to find one person to marry and settle down with for life. Once you do, any additional interest from the opposite sex, serves no purpose except perhaps as an ego boost. There are other ways to feel good about yourself.


----------



## OldSchoolSkater (Jun 3, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> ^*Average women still trump good looking guys in the "being hit" on department*; I ensure you of that. Average looking women will still get hit on if they go to a bar or POF unless they have a really bad vibe or something really strange about them. But I'm not complaining, they have different things to deal with.


You can call it sexist or whatever you want, but chances are things will not change. Men are supposed to hit on women and women aren't necessarily supposed to hit on me. Women are supposed to be pursued according to social standards. So yes, you are correct in your bolded statement.

My advice is to stop waiting for women to contact/hit on you, as that rarely happens whether or not you think it's right.


----------



## Ventura (May 5, 2009)

Because guys want to 'do it' with girls (or ermm most guys) - and they think sending messages will get them a quick lay -___- . Girls on the other hand wait a bit and stalk around the site, before even messaging anyone... 

Again I'm being stereotypical but its true.


----------



## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

alte said:


> By superficial, I mean basing relationship decisions on looks only or atleast placing a great deal of importance on it. Men are more likely to do this than women. This does not make them bad. This is how our brains work (I am a guy).


I disagree. I'm a guy, and I care very little about looks. In fact, the more attractive the girl is, the less respect I have for her, and the less likely I am to be interested. I know that a lot of my guy friends are more shallow, and it always baffles me. I'd mention that I thought a waitress was cute or something, and they'd all crack up because they think she's ugly.

Now I realize you said, "more likely", so it wasn't a complete generalization. But I don't think it's "how our brains work." We desire feminine qualities, yes, but we're not intrinsically shallow. I think the reason it seems that way is because women are more likely to date those types of guys (the shallow ones). So naturally, most of the men who are actually in relationships may be quite superficial.


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

alte said:


> By superficial, I mean basing relationship decisions on looks only or atleast placing a great deal of importance on it. Men are more likely to do this than women. This does not make them bad. This is how our brains work (I am a guy).
> 
> gustafsg said below average woman don't get much interest from men. This makes sense to me since men as a group tend to value appearance a lot. This divides women into extremes with the average to above average getting a great deal of interest while those not so lucky in the looks department having a horribly and unfairly hard time.
> 
> Just my thoughts.


I don't think women place as much of an importance on looks as men in general. But they still do. And you can be superficial about things other than looks. ie. social status indicators.

Plus there are so many desperate guys these days that any woman who isn't obese or menopausal (quoting Komorikun on this) can get laid very easily. And I'm sure even the obese and menopausal can get offers. They just have to put up a profile on a dating site and see for themselves. A relationship is a different story however.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

OldSchoolSkater said:


> You can call it sexist or whatever you want, but chances are things will not change. Men are supposed to hit on women and women aren't necessarily supposed to hit on me. Women are supposed to be pursued according to social standards. So yes, you are correct in your bolded statement.
> 
> My advice is to stop waiting for women to contact/hit on you, as that rarely happens whether or not you think it's right.


No, I absolutely agree, and I'll even go a step further and say it's biologically proven that those who invest more in a relationship will naturally be the choosers (women). Believe it or not, women invest much more into relationships than men. Men have to work much harder for it, but at least in a way it balances out.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Ventura said:


> Because guys want to 'do it' with girls (or ermm most guys) - and they think sending messages will get them a quick lay -___- . Girls on the other hand wait a bit and stalk around the site, before even messaging anyone...
> 
> Again I'm being stereotypical but its true.


Are you saying girls don't want sex?


----------



## alte (Sep 4, 2010)

Rainbat said:


> I disagree. I'm a guy, and I care very little about looks. In fact, the more attractive the girl is, the less respect I have for her, and the less likely I am to be interested. I know that a lot of my guy friends are more shallow, and it always baffles me. I'd mention that I thought a waitress was cute or something, and they'd all crack up because they think she's ugly.


Interesting. I wish I was less persuaded by looks. Luckily I have found that as I have gotten older, I have become less concerned with appearance.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Rainbat said:


> I disagree. I'm a guy, and I care very little about looks. In fact, the more attractive the girl is, the less respect I have for her, and the less likely I am to be interested. I know that a lot of my guy friends are more shallow, and it always baffles me. I'd mention that I thought a waitress was cute or something, and they'd all crack up because they think she's ugly.


I will not date a woman I find physically attractive if we do not get along or I do not respect her.

This thing with you saying you find attractive women less appealing, may be in fact a subconscious effect to protect yourself from rejection. I did this throughout high school, but now I'm older I realize all those pretty girls aren't that "stuck up" or "*****y" as I once thought, so now I respect them more and am more willing to date them.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

komorikun said:


> I've had my profile up for a long time. Kind of at an impasse because of the guys that send me messages: the ones I'm attracted to clearly are only interested in sex and the ones that might be interested in a relationship are not attractive (I'd have to get very, very drunk to kiss them). So I just haven't bothered with going on much of any dates. I miss the sex terribly but the sex you get from one night stands really sucks. Because I get nervous easily with a new person, I need booze to relax but that makes everything numb and then of course you have to use condoms which takes away even more of the sensation. On top of that most guys who only want sex are often in a hurry (few will want to spend the night and do it multiple times) and are only out for their own pleasure.


Do you ever send first messages to men your interested in?


----------



## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

komorikun said:


> What percentage of those guys only want to bang that fake profile? Have you gotten any messages that are longer than 3 sentences and are not spammish? And as I said before, you should make a profile of an average looking girl. I mean yeah, if you are only going for really hot chicks it will be an uphill battle. It all depends on how picky you are.


To test the theory, I made a fake girl profile on another site *without* a picture and barely filled out. I got 40 messages in one day (after which I deactivated the profile), and a bunch of people added the profile to their "favourite" lists.

Women (no, not just good looking women, but almost all women) practically swim in attention on these sites. It's just not attention from the kind of guys they want.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

heroin said:


> To test the theory, I made a fake girl profile on another site *without* a picture and barely filled out. I got 40 messages in one day (after which I deactivated the profile), and a bunch of people added the profile to their "favourite" lists.
> 
> Women (no, not just good looking women, but almost all women) practically swim in attention on these sites. It's just not attention from the kind of guys they want.


holy ****, that's amazing!


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

komorikun:1059625552 said:


> phoenixwright said:
> 
> 
> > Funny thing is, I've seen women on OkCupid who were single the first time I met them when I joined back in summer 2011 who are still single today. Like what's going on? Going months and months and months without a boyfriend when these girls clearly have options. Are these girls having casual hookups (probably with the polygamous, promiscuous top 20% of guys, who will have sex with mud even) in the mean time to satisfy sexual urges while they try to look for Mr. Right? I can't imagine that a girl who can get sex very easily would go without sex for so long unless she had a low sex drive. Girls want sex just as much as men.
> ...


That is awful. That's not what I'm looking for at all. That's too impersonal.


----------



## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

bwidger85 said:


> This thing with you saying you find attractive women less appealing, may be in fact a subconscious effect to protect yourself from rejection.


Well, I should clarify: I don't lose respect for women because they're attractive, it's just that beauty isn't something that impresses me. When I say that I lose respect, it's because when I sit back and observe attractive women and how they interact with other people, I notice that they generally seem to have poor characters. I'm sure there are women out there who are not only gorgeous but brilliant and kind too, but I've yet to encounter that.

It's also worth noting that, with less attractive girls, you know they haven't had things as easy. They've probably had to work harder, and they've probably dealt with a lot of emotional stress from bullying or loneliness, so they've had the opportunity to develop a stronger understanding of things. They're more likely to be empathetic and giving too. I don't know - it just feels like there's more to them. While I'm sure being a relationship with a beautiful woman is visually pleasing, I feel like they'd contribute less to a long-term relationship than someone less attractive. I feel like they're a flight-risk, and that they would need to be entertained nonstop, because they're conditioned to live an extravagant, beautiful lifestyle, which is not something I can or want to keep up with.

I think it's a matter of choice.

You can be with someone beautiful, but sacrifice some chemistry, or you can be with someone that you connect well with, but they're not as hot. You can't have your cake and eat it too.


----------



## Ventura (May 5, 2009)

bwidger85 said:


> Are you saying girls don't want sex?


Girls normally want a long relationship well their is guys who just want a 1 time stand - sure you can find a few dirty girls like that but most aren't but guys try to perve it all they can get. (sorry not all guys)


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Rainbat said:


> Well, I should clarify: I don't lose respect for women because they're attractive, it's just that beauty isn't something that impresses me. When I say that I lose respect, it's because when I sit back and observe attractive women and how they interact with other people, I notice that they generally seem to have poor characters. I'm sure there are women out there who are not only gorgeous but brilliant and kind too, but I've yet to encounter that.
> 
> It's also worth noting that, with less attractive girls, you know they haven't had things as easy. They've probably had to work harder, and they've probably dealt with a lot of emotional stress from bullying or loneliness, so they've had the opportunity to develop a stronger understanding of things. They're more likely to be empathetic and giving too. I don't know - it just feels like there's more to them. While I'm sure being a relationship with a beautiful woman is visually pleasing, I feel like they'd contribute less to a long-term relationship than someone less attractive. I feel like they're a flight-risk, and that they would need to be entertained nonstop, because they're conditioned to live an extravagant, beautiful lifestyle, which is not something I can or want to keep up with.
> 
> ...


I've known a lot of what I deemed attractive women who were every intelligent and kind. I sincerely feel that a lot of the time the women who you ay view as physically attractive do not view you the same way and consciously they know if they treat you a certain way your going to hit on them and they don't want that; they probably are nice girls but just don't want guys hitting on them all the time so they put up stand-offish fronts. And if you notice, really pretty girls who are single will be much more open and friendly to those THEY find attractive, but men do the same thing so I'm not doing a sex-blaming thing.

I was in my math class today and this girl was trying to find study partners during class to meet up afterwards. She approached a set of guys sitting down and asked if they'd like to study after class.... one of the VERY first things she said was that she had a boyfriend and brought him up tactfully in the beginning.... i thought it was funny because you'll notice many women do this... i've had it happen to me plenty of times... a really attractive girl would be sitting by me in a tutor room for instance and she's all happy and social and smiling and everything and it's almost as if she has to watch herself what she does around guys or it'll be a flilrtous behavior and she doesn't want the attention... she was in her social mood and asked me a question and after i responded she automatically brought up her boyfriend out of context....it's really funny... you should seriously what how pretty girls do that... it happens all the time.. but you can't blame them either

not all girls are this paranoid about men hitting on them but a lot seem to be, especially the more attractive they are... if you want to do a social experiement talk to a really cute girl you find attractive but mention how you have a girlfriend and you may notice she opens up more to you because she probably doesn't feel like your going to hit on her.... i'm probably looking to deep into this but i swear sometimes it just seems that way


----------



## Emsipoo (Jul 13, 2011)

While I agree with most of what people have said on this thread, I just wanted to say I know of at least one success story from POF. I have a friend in her late 20s, who met a guy on POF about a year or so ago. They got married last month, beautiful wedding. Gave out swedish fish in honor of the site. Gave me hope! I was thinking about creating a profile on there within a month or two when I move to a new city, but this thread is making me nervous.


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Auron said:


> You've got nothing to loose. Just be prepared to receive a wave of endless emails and IMs from horny guys asking you out for sex.


My ex-girlfriend also found her current boyfriend through POF and they seem destined for marriage. It's possible to find love on there. But yeah there are lots of desperate horny guys on there looking to hook up.

Apparently in hookup culture, there is a 80-20 rule. Where 80% of the girls who are DTF (casual sex friendly) are hooking up with the top 20% of guys who are DTF. Though the more I think about it, I'm not entirely certain if this really is true. Think about it. I think it's amusing to think that the attractive guys will bang almost anything. If I had my pick of the litter, I would see no point in sleeping with girls below a certain level of attractiveness. And just continue to sleep with the hot chicks that I did manage to snag. If I had numbers of hot chicks on my phone that I had picked up before, I'd text them for Round 2 instead of bothering with "average" and "below average" looking girls.

Guys strive to get laid mainly because they want to collect "trophies" (it's about pleasure too obviously. But a lot of it is social bragging rights with your buddies. Otherwise, guys would just go to escorts if they were hard up). This is why Pauly D, Mike and Vinny from Jersey Shore will reject and make fun of girls who aren't good looking enough. They call them "grenades". Deena literally threw herself to Pauly D and Mike and those two guys snubbed her. Because those guys (same with Vinny) aren't starved. And they don't need to absolutely get it in every single day. They're not desperate. You can't brag to your friends about having sex with some "average" girl if you already had hot chicks. Unless the average girl was a freak and would let you do stuff that hot chick wouldn't let you do.

Due to the disproportionate male-to-female ratio on dating sites, things may be different there. Though a lot of guys on these sites have approach anxiety in real-life. So they resort to dating sites to approach. They're not exactly the "top 20%". And there is a sea of garbage guys on POF.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Emsipoo said:


> While I agree with most of what people have said on this thread, I just wanted to say I know of at least one success story from POF. I have a friend in her late 20s, who met a guy on POF about a year or so ago. They got married last month, beautiful wedding. Gave out swedish fish in honor of the site. Gave me hope! I was thinking about creating a profile on there within a month or two when I move to a new city, but this thread is making me nervous.


Although it's true there may be a lot of guys just wanting one thing on that site, at least you'll be getting a ton of emails to choose from! lol


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

I haven't had much success with online dating for years now...yet I continue to do it. I must be a glutton for punishment.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

joinmartin said:


> Some guys brag about their conquests. Tends to be the needy ones. Not all guys do. Sometimes it's about liking the girl for who she is and having sexual relations with her because of that. I've got guy mates and I've never seen them brag about who they have slept with. They might tell stories where they look like the world's greatest hero but they don't tend to brag.
> 
> Life is not Jersey Shore. Not seen the show but I'm guessing it's like the British version: Geordie Shore. In other words: wastes of space followed around by some cameras for a bit whilst they search for brain cells. Just because a couple of douche bags from Jersey Shore react in a certain way doesn't really mean much. Douche bags act like that anyway regardless of who they have or have not slept with.


yeah, i've never seen jersey shore but i've seen some of the actors before... that kind of mentality would make me want to stick a pen in either their neck or my own if i was forced to be around those type of people...most annoying people in the world imo


----------



## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

I did the same thing, although I gave her all sorts of mental and emotional problems. Before I had completed the profile, I was receving chat requests and messages. After a little while, I took the photo out and the messages mostly dried up, but I couldn't delete the profile until a day had passed. It just goes to show you how many messages women receive on such sites, and how you really have no shot.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

IcedOver said:


> I did the same thing, although I gave her all sorts of mental and emotional problems. Before I had completed the profile, I was receving chat requests and messages. After a little while, I took the photo out and the messages mostly dried up, but I couldn't delete the profile until a day had passed. It just goes to show you how many messages women receive on such sites, and how you really have no shot.


I'll be completely honest, doing this has really made me think about some stuff. The number of emails a girl can get online is amazing but it goes to show you just how it is for girls sometimes. Not saying every place is like this for a girl and I'm sure they can go a day or even maybe a week without getting hit on, but what I'm trying to say is they can pick places that can guarantee them attention (bars, online dating sites, etc), which is how it is I guess; I'm not complaining.

I guess the interesting thing I took from this is that, sure, there are a lot of guys hitting on girls online but the good thing about that for a guy like me is it somewhat separates me from the rest because -- this is gonna sound really tacky -- I'm kinda smooth if I want to be, but it took me a while to get that way. lol. And what I mean by "smooth" isn't like a slick-rick tryna get into her pants but just a normal dude who make her feel comfortable and she can trust, and it's not a trick mainly because that's what i want to do. So when a girl, for instance, is getting hit on at a bar all night by drunk morons, I'll be that guy who's just normal and friendly and blah blah. I do understand that looks do matter for women but at least by personality I can separate myself. Even the idea of "separating" myself from the "crowd" seems kinda crappy but I guess that's how it is for some girls, what else can I say? So what I'm tryna say is women appreciate a normal man who is just cool and not tryna be all sleazeball like--I think they will appreciate a man like that even if they themselves are sleazeballs lol...

Once again, I realize that looks matter for most women, but I'm starting to understand why maybe some girls appreciate personality more than looks in men. In my opinion, women can find a man to sleep with easy obviously, but supposedly finding a good man who will give them more is a little more difficult to do, so this is kind of why looks _MAYBE_ not be as an attributing factor to really "getting the girl", so to speak. Most guys simply don't have the level of easiness a woman does and so this also makes sense to me why men _MAYBE_ more prone to physical appeal. I may be wrong, but the nights I go out and I'm fun and interesting and have a lot of attention girls are way more willing to give me their numbers and talk to me, etc. A lot of it may be due to the fact that I'm more friendly and I don't look like a "creep" this way, but, once again, this is a form of separation I was talking about earlier from the sleazeballs.

I'm not saying this is the truth but it's just somethings I've been thinking.


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

IcedOver:1059628791 said:


> I did the same thing, although I gave her all sorts of mental and emotional problems. Before I had completed the profile, I was receving chat requests and messages. After a little while, I took the photo out and the messages mostly dried up, but I couldn't delete the profile until a day had passed. It just goes to show you how many messages women receive on such sites, and how you really have no shot.


How many of those guys sending messages are actually quality though? There is so much trash on OKcupid, let alone POF. I don't consider those guys my competition. I'm way ahead of those tool bags. I've got a female friend on there that isn't casual sex friendly at all (unlike my female alter-ego on there. ROFL) and she still gets pestered by a lot of guys who just want sex or idiot tool bags in general. On both POF and OkCupid.

bwidger, I actually took the experiment further and interacted with the guys (and girls! ROFL). I think it's an interesting experiment because it will help you learn more about what you are *really* like as a person. When role-playing as an attractive woman, I was much more assertive, aggressive, cocky, had a don't give a **** attitude. And I was actually quite a mean ***** to some creepers (ie. guys would send me pics of their penises. And I'd make fun of how small their penises were. That's how Phoebe deals with creepers. Ya feel me?). Being shy, passive, people-pleasing, approval seeking. These are all tied to a lack of confidence. I should aim to be more like her.

I'm actually going to be using some of the exchanges in a novel that I am planning on writing. I wanted to flesh out the female lead in my novel more.


----------



## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

"bwidger" and "phoenixwright"--It's not wise to feel that you're so superior to any other guys on the site. Unfortunately, any guy who messages a woman is a "creep" until proven otherwise, whether he sends her a thoughtful paragraph or a "'sup?". It's sad that this is the attitude of women today, but it is. Sometimes I don't know why women even bother to make dating profiles because they have such a hostile attitude towards the whole process. The other day I was looking on PoF and came across a woman who said that "No one reads these paragraphs. No one!" She's wrong, but nevertheless she launched into a diatribe against men who "troll" for women, put a lot of fake and allegedly funny stuff in it, and said something about ripping your dick off so you'd walk around like Ken. Yeah, that's a real way to snag a guy. I didn't remark her user name or I'd paste it for you.

I'd like to try another fake profile, maybe of an ugly girl, to find out how many messages she would receive.


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

IcedOver said:


> "bwidger" and "phoenixwright"--It's not wise to feel that you're so superior to any other guys on the site. Unfortunately, any guy who messages a woman is a "creep" until proven otherwise, whether he sends her a thoughtful paragraph or a "'sup?". It's sad that this is the attitude of women today, but it is. Sometimes I don't know why women even bother to make dating profiles because they have such a hostile attitude towards the whole process. The other day I was looking on PoF and came across a woman who said that "No one reads these paragraphs. No one!" She's wrong, but nevertheless she launched into a diatribe against men who "troll" for women, put a lot of fake and allegedly funny stuff in it, and said something about ripping your dick off so you'd walk around like Ken. Yeah, that's a real way to snag a guy. I didn't remark her user name or I'd paste it for you.
> 
> I'd like to try another fake profile, maybe of an ugly girl, to find out how many messages she would receive.


Then just don't go for those girls. Guys have a right to have standards too. But it seems like most guys haven't got that memo.

There are girls on dating sites who are actually serious about finding someone and actually found someone. But yeah unfortunately there are girls out there who just want the attention from guys and aren't serious. Some of them are even married or have boyfriends. Or they might have priced themselves so high out of the market and have a very unrealistic view of what they can attract. Or maybe they are looking for something very specific and have trouble finding it.


----------



## Harpuia (Apr 10, 2010)

It sounds like I fared a little better than most of the guys here on OKCupid. I managed to get a grand total of 6 replies during my 6 months there back in 2009 which led to 3 dates which led to 0 relationships and 1 friendship that has kind of fallen by the wayside.

On PlentyofFish I got 2 replies in 6 months which led to 0 dates and 0 relationships.

As far as I know, girls on these sites do look for serious relationships, and I'm sorry, but I agree with IcedOver. Regardless of your intentions, you are a creep until proved otherwise.

Sounding confident never helped me either. (Take that confidence preachers.) If anything, it hurts you because it makes you come on too strong with some people.

I have to mention that I artificially lowered my income to $20,000-30,000/yr. and only got 1 of those 8 replies, the person who ended up being a friend. I got 7 of the 8 replies after I changed it to my real income.


----------



## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Harpuia said:


> It sounds like I fared a little better than most of the guys here on OKCupid. I managed to get a grand total of 6 replies during my 6 months there back in 2009 which led to 3 dates which led to 0 relationships and 1 friendship that has kind of fallen by the wayside.
> 
> On PlentyofFish I got 2 replies in 6 months which led to 0 dates and 0 relationships.
> 
> ...


Good for you.  OkCupid did work better than POF for me as well.


----------



## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

Kind of voyeuristic and creepy imo, seems like it's only going to hinder yourself if anything.


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Harpuia said:


> It sounds like I fared a little better than most of the guys here on OKCupid. I managed to get a grand total of 6 replies during my 6 months there back in 2009 which led to 3 dates which led to 0 relationships and 1 friendship that has kind of fallen by the wayside.
> 
> On PlentyofFish I got 2 replies in 6 months which led to 0 dates and 0 relationships.
> 
> ...


Wow, you got 7 replies when the girls found out you were making good money. But only 1 when they thought you were just barely getting by. Unless a girl is thinking about babies, that's pretty sad.

RE: the confidence thing, yeah I can relate. When I'm timid and have low self-esteem, I don't talk much and then things go nowhere fast. But when I'm confident, I can sometimes come on too strong with a girl. But not in terms of emotion or anything.


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

It's all in the balance. Be cordial, be honest.


----------



## Charliegirl6 (Feb 6, 2012)

I would find it greatly amusing if you can respond to these guys on the fake profile you're a shemale, a woman with extras, And you're very interested in them.  That'll show em appearnces isn't everything. Hehe

There was a study, people who have gone for looks alone usaly break up due to being complete personality opposites.


----------



## RiversEdge (Aug 21, 2011)

Peter Attis said:


> People like you are the worst.


I see what you are saying. What he did was misleading and it makes men
loose their trust in online profiles. And it was just wrong.



bwidger85 said:


> It's not eating away at me. * If anything, it's good to know the truth.*


You really didn't need to make a fake profile to find out that guys would respond to a profile of a cute girl. Come on, right?

I think what you did is wrong.


----------



## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

I don't think what he did is a big deal, given he hasn't responded to any advances these men have made. In all likelihood, most of those men sent out messages to dozens of girls within the past few days, and most (including the real ones) have ignored them.

That said, it's a good illustration of why I'd absolutely never consider signing up for an online dating site. (Both the results he found and the fact that he created a fake).


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

As I'm also curious about the experience of women on dating sites, I can understand why the original poster did what he did. I'm thinking of deleting all my accounts and just focusing on myself. I'm starting to do better in that regard by eating better, going to the gym, etc.


----------



## strugglingforhope (Jun 13, 2009)

Hey I'm kind of curious, I'm hearing a lot of guys 'just want sex' and are only there for hookups.. It makes me wonder are these guys being upfront wanting that or are they simply guys that want to date instead of being 'friends?.' I've seen/talked to several girls on those sites that want to be 'friends' and don't hint that it could lead to anything else . If I reject these girls does that make me a hornball that only wants sex? I do want sex, but that's not my main goal - and if they do want to be 'friends' I'll only do that if the girl makes equal effort, which almost never happens.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

strugglingforhope said:


> Hey I'm kind of curious, I'm hearing a lot of guys 'just want sex' and are only there for hookups.. It makes me wonder are these guys being upfront wanting that or are they simply guys that want to date instead of being 'friends?.' I've seen/talked to several girls on those sites that want to be 'friends' and don't hint that it could lead to anything else . If I reject these girls does that make me a hornball that only wants sex? I do want sex, but that's not my main goal - and if they do want to be 'friends' I'll only do that if the girl makes equal effort, which almost never happens.


I think it's often difficult for males and females to be just friends...especially close friends. Too many divergent interests, hobbies, etc. If I'm interested in a woman, just being the shoulder she cries on is emasculating and of no interest to me. Yes, guys want sex and there is nothing wrong with that. Most want more than that as well, which is a fact that often goes unnoticed by women.


----------

