# Are online friends real?



## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

"Real" is hereby defined as what you vote for in threads like How many friends do you have?

"Online" is hereby defined as people you've never met in meatspace.


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## smalltowngirl (Feb 17, 2006)

They better be.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Already one vote for No? Really?

If they're not real, then what are they?


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## matt404 (Feb 8, 2006)

smalltowngirl said:


> They better be.


I'm real! :lol

I vote for 'yes' also.


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

:yes


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## Dreamcatcher (Nov 8, 2003)

Absolutely.


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## coldmorning (Jul 4, 2007)

Yes, absolutely.


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## Taija (Nov 3, 2008)

It of course depends on the people but yes, online friends can be real friends.


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## SaigeJones (Mar 17, 2008)

Just Lurking said:


> Already one vote for No? Really?
> 
> If they're not real, then what are they?


virtual friends.

simulations friends

test friends

experimental friends


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## ANCIENT (Aug 9, 2005)




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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

smalltowngirl said:


> They better be.


Don't worry, I voted yes. :b I was just getting the impression from other threads that a large percentage of people here don't think so, and was curious to find out what percentage that'd be.


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## IllusionOfHappiness (Sep 6, 2007)

Sure they are.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

My friends are real. My love is big. My heart is true.

Agatha was the wife of Edward the Exile (heir to the throne of England) and mother of Edgar Ætheling, Saint Margaret of Scotland and Cristina of England. Her antecedents are unclear, and subject to much speculation.


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## Cypress (Dec 17, 2008)

If I would have answered this a month ago I would have said "No, they are not real".

Now my answer is, they definitely can be.


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## dontcare (Oct 6, 2008)

i'm never online unless i'm on sas. i like people on here but idk that i'd consider them to be "real" friends ... honestly, idk what a "real friend" is ... i rather think i won't vote.


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## seanybhoy (Mar 2, 2008)

Yeah for sure their are people on here i have told stuff i wouldn't and haven't told anyone offline so yeah i appreciate that and more to the point them.


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## VCL XI (Jan 19, 2004)

Sure they can be, but the real question is: Are friends electric?


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

So you all aren't bots?


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## jane (Jan 30, 2006)

I'm sorry, but they're not.
Much as I care about and appreciate online friends, people I know in real life always come first. Sorry.


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## mousam (Dec 5, 2008)

Definitely. I've met some wonderful people online. Without them, I'd be friendless.


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## Tasha (Feb 10, 2004)

If I have not met them, then...no they're not real they're just words on a screen.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

I went with "not sure". There is a huge difference between meeting someone in person and merely communicating with them online. People online can certainly be friends, but it's just not the same as someone you actually have meet face to face.


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

UltraShy said:


> There is a huge difference between meeting someone in person and merely communicating with them online. People online can certainly be friends, but it's just not the same as someone you actually have meet face to face.


Would you say the difference only appears if you regularly do stuff with them face to face, or does just meeting occasionally still make it more real to you?

(I'm curious because personally, the friend I've met up with about 7 times in 8 years doesn't feel different from purely online friends.)


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## Medicine Wheel (Nov 17, 2008)

i have met 20+ people online in person from all over the world. So im going to have to go with yes. Took alot out of me to do it the first time tho.


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## christ~in~me (Dec 18, 2008)

becks1789 said:


> If you talk to them a lot, I think they are real friends.


i agree.


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## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

Real life friends aren't always real friends, so it depends.


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## shyguy246 (Apr 27, 2006)

I have about three "real life friends", and a lot more "online friends". And I can tell you, if I were in distress and needed someone to talk to, my "online friends" would be there much quicker than my "real life friends" and I'd be much quicker to talk to my "online friends" about my problems, or even about just stuff in general. Maybe I need better "real life friends". Then again, I guess, being a guy, my "real life friends" aren't really friends, just...buddies. I don't even like them that much :lol.

Basically, I can count on my "online friends" to be there when I really need a friend, and that makes them real to me.


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## Cypress (Dec 17, 2008)

shyguy246 said:


> I have about three "real life friends", and a lot more "online friends". And I can tell you, if I were in distress and needed someone to talk to, my "online friends" would be there much quicker than my "real life friends" and I'd be much quicker to talk to my "online friends" about my problems, or even about just stuff in general. Maybe I need better "real life friends". Then again, I guess, being a guy, my "real life friends" aren't really friends, just...buddies. I don't even like them that much :lol.
> 
> Basically, I can count on my "online friends" to be there when I really need a friend, and that makes them real to me.


:ditto


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

No, I don't think so.

I just met someone I'd known online (first time I'd ever done that), and although we did connect pretty well, the sensation of knowing and not knowing someone is incredibly strange. It's totally different from knowing someone in the real world.


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## adsf321dsa (Dec 4, 2008)

The last time I had an imaginary friend was in kindergarten.


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## LonelyHeart87 (Jan 26, 2009)

Of course they are real. Friends are people you share things with, and with who you can converse and find comfort, seek advice, etc. You can do all of this online. So yes, definitely, they can be real friends.


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## Bredwh (Jan 24, 2009)

I'm not sure.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

The humans behind the pc are real enough, but what they tell you might not be.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

They're as real as my psychotic disorder will allow. Thankfully, my online friends are imaginary. Just like my psychotic disorder.


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## SugarSparkler (Sep 5, 2008)

jane said:


> I'm sorry, but they're not.
> Much as I care about and appreciate online friends, people I know in real life always come first. Sorry.


I definitley agree that it makes it easier to get "closer" to real life friends as you spend more time with them; they feel more "real" to you (unless you spend more time online- then you'd be closer to them).

But, I think online friends are real. I'm thinking about it this way, what makes a friend a friend?

They support you, enjoy eachothers "company", conversations, etc. I do see how it's easier to be "friendly" in real like but I think it can happen via the net, too.


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## SugarSparkler (Sep 5, 2008)

Roberto said:


> Real life friends aren't always real friends, so it depends.


Very good point.

It depends on the actual relationship/the people involved.


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## MissMay1977 (Oct 25, 2008)

A " real" friend to me is someone that I share my feelings, emotions, and daily life events with. Also a " real" friend is someone who supports you and talks with you about your problems. So for me my online friends are " real"


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## Iced Soul (Jan 28, 2009)

I'll say yes and no, so I guess not sure.
The people I talk to online are friends, to an extent. You can share things with them, get support, and conversation. I talk on the phone to most of them and such, but they can't be physical friends. You can't go places with them, you can't cry on their shoulders, they can't really be there for you. And, sometimes, they aren't being truthful about who they are, which sort of cuts into the friend thing a bit.


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## rocknroll (Nov 11, 2003)

Sometimes they are; sometimes they're not.


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## hyacinth_dragon (Dec 28, 2008)

I dunno if online friends are real.


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## smalltowngirl (Feb 17, 2006)

That is interesting LaRibbon. Thanks for posting. I guess I'm in the camp that considers online interaction to be an easier way of bonding. I have a hard time understanding the people who feel as though they can't possibly connect with someone without seeing them face-to-face.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

Yeah I enjoy conversing with others on the internet, it may not have all the ingredients of a "real life" friendship, but you can foster some feelings for online friends. You can also give advice to eachother, play online games, compare world views and just get **** off your chest. I think it has many elements of a friendship and I fully believe I've met some people online who I would call friends.


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## Deathinmusic (Jun 5, 2009)

I think they can be real if you feel a connection with each other and feel that you can talk about things etc. In time even real trust could be built, so why would that not be considered "real"? It is possible to feel close to someone without being in physical proximity.


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## Georgina 22 (Jan 4, 2009)

Yes, they can be 'real'. They can turn into being online/reallife friends if you end up meeting up


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## Kathe (May 17, 2010)

My only friend I met on-line. We talked for almost a year through the internet before meeting in person. I had much more real conversations with him than I ever did with people I knew in real life.

But, if people want to think on-line friends are not or cannot be real, they are certainly free to do so.

For me, though, anyone that thinks that way has a very odd definition of "friend".


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## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

I think they can become "real", or I should say more legitimate, if you meet up with them and convert your friendship to both an online as well as an in person relationship.


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## blair (Feb 1, 2010)

sometimes.


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## Mar55 (Jul 5, 2010)

Yes.

What is the difference betwen talking online and talking in person? Don't you talk to your "real life" friends online?


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## kos (May 19, 2009)

Mar55 said:


> Yes.
> 
> What is the difference betwen talking online and talking in person? Don't you talk to your "real life" friends online?


body language, voice tone, mannerisms, physical appearence, race, just being in the presence of other human beings, ect...

The difference is night and day.


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## Deathinmusic (Jun 5, 2009)

kos said:


> body language, voice tone, mannerisms, physical appearence, race, just being in the presence of other human beings, ect...
> 
> The difference is night and day.


Everything except the presence part is doable through video chatting.


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## VagueResemblance (Apr 17, 2010)

I don't know about you guys, but I'm a program running in a government laboratory basement.

(they keep me on this ancient 486 to keep me from getting too smart. Help!)


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## Whitney (Oct 2, 2008)

I think this is interesting, because I don't think I have any online friends, but my boyfriend has tons, and he is generally more social, at least more socially comfortable than I am. But we both spend lots of time online. It is interesting because I would generally think that the people who make the most online friends are the people who have the most trouble with real-life friends, but that really isn't the case with us.


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## strawberryjulius (Jun 28, 2009)

I have a couple, I consider them real but I'm hopeless at keeping in touch. >_>


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

Most definitely!


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## low (Sep 27, 2009)

If you are as picky as me, yes. I've met some great people online who I've kept in touch with for several years. Never met any physically but I know they are great people. In ways your personality comes through more online or in virtual environments more than in real life.


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

Whitney said:


> It is interesting because I would generally think that the people who make the most online friends are the people who have the most trouble with real-life friends


If you read LaRibbon's link, you'd see your assumption isn't supported by research. [Edit: erm sorry, no idea what I was thinking here, guess I can't read.]



mcmuffinme said:


> I think they can become "real", or I should say more legitimate, if you meet up with them and convert your friendship to both an online as well as an in person relationship.


I'm curious if you (or anyone else) feel this is true for people you've met once to a few times (but talk with online all the time), or if it only applies to people who you see regularly in person.

Personally I don't seem to think of online friends I've occasionally met any differently from other online friends, and would incidentally rank those I've met as less close of friends than some I haven't. I've never had a regular in person friendship in my life though, so I wonder if the difference would become apparent with more exposure.


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## Whitney (Oct 2, 2008)

Hoth said:


> If you read LaRibbon's link, you'd see your assumption isn't supported by research.


Yeah, exactly. That is what I went on to say...


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## HipHopHead (Jun 17, 2010)

i think it is harder to converse, relate to, and get to know someone through online, thats just my opinion. i put not sure.. cuz i do consider people on this forum my friend but.. i guess without the natural interaction of being face to face with REAL social skills (which im sure has been stated) is the only difference i can think of, hmm. good question.


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## ursula (May 29, 2008)

I have a friend who I've been writing to via old fashioned paper letters for 14 years now. We meet up about once a year. I see our written interractions as being just as significant as our face to face ones if not more so because my social anxiety isn't getting in the way all the time. Maybe not being able to laugh with someone is a bit of a drawback with letters. But they're good if you're feeling a bit earnest.


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## sacred (May 25, 2009)

dont really care. i hate talking to people in real life and even more so online. i just hate ****ing talking and socializing period.


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## bowlingpins (Oct 18, 2008)

Yes, I think so.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I think the friendship is real but the dynamic is absolutely different to in person relationships, you're not in touch with the persons voice & mannerisms(their laugh, expressions, etc)


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## metallica2147 (Feb 15, 2010)

I've met some people online, but I just think it's better if you get to actually hang out with them.


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## Toad Licker (Nov 2, 2007)

I think one of mine is a bot but I'll leave it for them to guess which one it is.


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## EagerMinnow84 (Sep 1, 2007)

yes, of course they are.


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## danberado (Apr 22, 2010)

Poorly worded thread.

How about:

Are online friends equivalent to offline friends?


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## SesquipedalianMoose (Aug 6, 2010)

They definitely are. I think it takes a bit more effort when you're only talking online to get to the same level of closeness though, but maybe that's just my experience.


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## mranxiousguy1 (May 4, 2010)

No not really , don't see online people as friends and people who do haven't ''REAL'' friends beside that


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

mranxiousguy1 said:


> No not really , don't see online people as friends and people who do haven't ''REAL'' friends beside that


Lot of presumption there. There was already an article posted in the thread stating that research shows that people who value online friendships have no more or less offline friends than those who don't. Most of my best online friends have offline friends.


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## itisgoingtobefine (May 15, 2011)

Some say yes, and some say no. I personally don't know. It just seems like some people have good luck and some people have bad. :stu


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## equiiaddict (Jun 27, 2006)

Definitely. I have a couple online friends who I'm really close to that I met years ago! I absolutely love them. I even met one of them two summers ago, which was really cool. (He lives in California but he flew out here for two weeks.)


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## itisgoingtobefine (May 15, 2011)

^ That's what I call good luck. But take me for an example, I've met people online for 8 years. Nothing like that has ever happened for me. Most of my online friendships just fade away with time. :stu


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## AloneTillTheEnd (Aug 15, 2011)

My definition of "friend" is complicated. 

If I can't physically spend time with them. Go out to eat. Go shopping. Hangout and things. Then I do not consider it a real friendship. Because friends are there for you. If you ever need something.

An online friend can't drive you to work if your car gets a flat tire. An online friend can't go to the mall, look at cute guys and shop with you. An online friend can't take you to the hospital if you fall down the stairs and break your leg.

The only thing an online friend can do for you is talk. And if that talking is only done through text, then feeling any type of emotion towards that person is difficult. And forming a bond is even harder.

For an online person to become a friend they must physically meet you in real life. And that means more than once.


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## Cat Montgomery (Jul 31, 2011)

I probably have better online friends than real friends.
The only reason you are friends with them is their personality. Not looks, social status, or wealth. You just get along.


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## Lanter (Aug 3, 2011)

I'm hesitant to say so; but yes, I suppose they are.


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## itisgoingtobefine (May 15, 2011)

I think there is good points on both sides. But I think if you weigh it out, what AloneTillTheEnd said is the most true.


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## cafune (Jan 11, 2011)

AloneTillTheEnd said:


> My definition of "friend" is complicated.
> 
> If I can't physically spend time with them. Go out to eat. Go shopping. Hangout and things. Then I do not consider it a real friendship. Because friends are there for you. If you ever need something.
> 
> ...


:ditto

I voted "Not sure" though. I suppose you could get to know each other pretty well, assuming everything shared is true I guess. But I think it lacks a lot of things that an offline relationship has. Online, you're able to think about how you'll respond to a message etc. Offline, you can't do that, which, in my opinion, makes it a bit more "real." And you're able to discern emotions more offline... but then again, I guess emoticons are able to do that as well. I dunno, it's just _different._ I don't think that means that you can't make friends online though. So not exactly sure where I stand...


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## itisgoingtobefine (May 15, 2011)

I look at this way. We had offline relationships long before we had online ones! Online = artificially stimulated. The only thing I can think of is the old fashion letter.


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## MadMatt (Dec 15, 2010)

Yeah guys I really can't handle this online friend thing. Also I have like 4 online gfriends?!  What Am I gonna do. Oh wait who cares...they don't know any better 

Just kidding. But yeah the only real reason I go on msn and make buddies is just to get insight into some other people's beliefs and general life views. If they start responding with the lame and boring lol, I soon delete them without any remorse. But yeah recently I met someone online that I have such good talks too. She definetely keeps my attention and has a great sense of humour!

Then I just realise that she is 10000 miles away so I am just wasting my time 
Damnit when is teleportation coming out for real ?


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## Cole87 (Aug 15, 2011)

Calling them "online friends" and not friends , is like saying there not your friends at all, just because there far away and you can't hang out. A friend is someone that you enjoy chatting to and care for no matter how far they are.


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## wrongnumber (May 24, 2009)

I cautiously voted no some time last year. And the experiences that have followed...turns out I was correct.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

^I can understand that. 

I have a friend from here that I've spoken to from day one though and no matter what happens we've always been there to chat and help one another out. He's a cool cat and always tells me exactly what I need to hear, not what I think I want to hear. It's a shame he's so far off, otherwise I'm assuming we'd have struck up an irl friendship too by now. I'd say he's the exception for online friendships. Maybe two others would also be considered as much but it's not the same since they're gals.


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## cat001 (Nov 1, 2010)

On forums and such I just swan in and out of thread never really directing any posts to any single individual unless replying so don't really have online friends, and very few friends in real life


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## extraordinary (Sep 10, 2011)

No, I don't consider them real friends till we've met in person. I had lots of online friends when I was younger, but I just don't see the point anymore unless we plan to be friends in person.


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## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)

yes... I have a couple that I met on this mom website and now I'm friends with them on facebook and I think of them as my friends even though I haven't met them in real life... one of them we actually message back and forth on facebook all the time and I tell her more about myself and my life than I ever tell my two real life friends.


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## River In The Mountain (Jun 6, 2011)

Do Online Friends Dream of Electric Sheep?

hmm, I think they 'can' be real friends. If you click you click.


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## Aloysius (Jul 16, 2008)

Yes.


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