# Spending time alone in a healthy way



## Joshua90 (Jan 11, 2013)

Does anyone have tips or advice on how to cope with loneliness by developing a positive way of maneuvering through it? A lot of people/resources have said "it's good to spend time alone, take time for yourself" and while I agree, I also am wondering how do I go about doing that? I of course want to spend little time as possible away from the computer because I don't feel I am doing anything productive but rather I find my anxiety and over thinking tends to increase. They say to take up hobbies but what could one possibly do by themselves? I ideally want to do things that take my mind away from the stress and anxiety. Any suggestions, what do you do to preoccupy your mind in a productive way?


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## Srylance (Apr 20, 2014)

There is plenty of things you could do by yourself, i could name some. I'd like to know what your interests are first. Or i'd just be throwing wild guesses around. Tell us some more about you.

Myself, though i'm getting pretty tired of being alone all the time, spend my time playing video games, listening music. I'm also interested in Anime figurines so read a lot about those. Cars are also an intrest of mine.


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## Joshua90 (Jan 11, 2013)

Srylance said:


> There is plenty of things you could do by yourself, i could name some. I'd like to know what your interests are first. Or i'd just be throwing wild guesses around. Tell us some more about you.
> 
> Myself, though i'm getting pretty tired of being alone all the time, spend my time playing video games, listening music. I'm also interested in Anime figurines so read a lot about those. Cars are also an intrest of mine.


Hi, well I really like art, music, movies and watching television but I also am a very talkative person and want to share my ideas and thoughts with someone around my interests but there's no one here or absolutely no one likes what I seem to like hence I feel lonely a lot of the time.

I really am talented in art but I just don't have the motivation and idk I just want to be productive and keep my mind occupied, sigh


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## Srylance (Apr 20, 2014)

Can you draw? I'm really jealous at people who can draw so nice! I know finding similar minded people, specially in art is difficult. Movies are a great way to spend time alone, they often take long and give something to talk about afterwards. Documentary's are very learn full if you watching a lot of TV. I watch them all the time, i'm Discovery Channel addict. So that keeps you occupied and is kinda productive since your learning. 

What idea's do you have? And What music are you in too?


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## Bored Alien (Feb 5, 2015)

I love being truly alone, meaning the few times i have no obligations or external pressures from anyone and can do what i feel like. I can waste an entire weekend alone just sitting in my room on my phone on the Internet because I'm expecting to have to help out my family with stuff. Or i can be actually alone and do what i feel like and be productive.


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## Joshua90 (Jan 11, 2013)

Srylance said:


> Can you draw? I'm really jealous at people who can draw so nice! I know finding similar minded people, specially in art is difficult. Movies are a great way to spend time alone, they often take long and give something to talk about afterwards. Documentary's are very learn full if you watching a lot of TV. I watch them all the time, i'm Discovery Channel addict. So that keeps you occupied and is kinda productive since your learning.
> 
> What idea's do you have? And What music are you in too?


I can yes  I sketch portraits, I just really love faces especially of the male variety  so I tend to sketch a range of faces from celebs to weird conceptual pieces. I am trying to watch more documentaries too, I figure I can spend this alone time learning something so that's a good way to go about doing that. I just hate that I have a talkative extroverted disposition but my shyness stops me from speaking out and plus as you said, it's hard to find people who are like minded.

In what regards are you asking about ideas? As for music, I love Dance music, Pop, 90s dance and house are my pleasures for sure, I'm not even going to call them guilty pleasures because I just love feeling when I listen to a great dance/house song so I definitely embrace that!  Hbu you sir?


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## Srylance (Apr 20, 2014)

Your music taste is quite similar to mine.  I like pretty much everything you mentioned too. The 80's music is great as well. As for house music, do you know the group called "Disclosure"? 

Faces are really complicated to draw, awesome you can do that! I'd just like to draw cute anime girls, fairly large if possible. I know it sucks to not being able to speak your mind, i sometimes have stuff to add to a conversation, yet i rarely speak up my mind. :S We are kinda like minded in some ways, so at least you found 1 person already, hehe.


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## Joshua90 (Jan 11, 2013)

Srylance said:


> Your music taste is quite similar to mine.  I like pretty much everything you mentioned too. The 80's music is great as well. As for house music, do you know the group called "Disclosure"?
> 
> Faces are really complicated to draw, awesome you can do that! I'd just like to draw cute anime girls, fairly large if possible. I know it sucks to not being able to speak your mind, i sometimes have stuff to add to a conversation, yet i rarely speak up my mind. :S We are kinda like minded in some ways, so at least you found 1 person already, hehe.


Oh nope I've not heard of disclosure, I will have to check them out. Oh yeah I noticed you like anime, I may just have looked at a pic of you and there were a bunch of anime figurines behind 

I actually think drawing anatomy is hard but faces are somewhat things I am fairly good at haha

Yeah I guess but at the same time it'd be nice to have someone physically here you know? I just hate that I'm growing older and missing out on fun moments :/


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## Nakiita (Mar 30, 2015)

I am a shift worker and have found that a combination of social anxiety and shift work has led to a very lonely life. I spent a lot of time thinking about how to change it in a way that could work and am now going back to uni to retrain in another profession, one that is more positive than my current and that can lead to non shift work once I qualify. It is a long road ahead but hopefully the pay off will be worth it and in the meantime whilst I'm still as alone as I was before, I now have a **** load of study to do so it's certainly given me something else to focus on. So even if it doesn't work out, it won't be a loss.


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## Srylance (Apr 20, 2014)

Joshua90 said:


> Oh nope I've not heard of disclosure, I will have to check them out. Oh yeah I noticed you like anime, I may just have looked at a pic of you and there were a bunch of anime figurines behind
> 
> I actually think drawing anatomy is hard but faces are somewhat things I am fairly good at haha
> 
> Yeah I guess but at the same time it'd be nice to have someone physically here you know? I just hate that I'm growing older and missing out on fun moments :/


You where looking at my picture! :O But yes, these are my babies sort of haha. Soon there will be a new one added to the collection. One i'm very much looking forward to have, gonna be perhaps my favorite one yet.

Well, since you got the hardest part of drawing down, i'm sure you'd be able to draw almost anything pretty well.

Yeah, i'm also getting older and missing out on everything : / Would be nice to find a local buddy, perhaps even from this site.


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## Joshua90 (Jan 11, 2013)

Srylance said:


> You where looking at my picture! :O But yes, these are my babies sort of haha. Soon there will be a new one added to the collection. One i'm very much looking forward to have, gonna be perhaps my favorite one yet.
> 
> Well, since you got the hardest part of drawing down, i'm sure you'd be able to draw almost anything pretty well.
> 
> Yeah, i'm also getting older and missing out on everything : / Would be nice to find a local buddy, perhaps even from this site.


Haha yeah I may have taken a gander  It'd be nice to have a buddy who also has SA, someone who understands, but oh well I guess


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## jever (Jun 16, 2013)

how bad is your anxiety? can you function in a normal daily day, or does it keep you away from stuff like work, going outside etc?

because then:
- join the local gym
- join a sport
- join movie groups
- start playing a instrument, or paint, or draw
- take acting classes
- take walks in nature
- join book clubs
- visit museums and historical places
- go travel alone to a nearby city or country
- do volenteer work


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## Joshua90 (Jan 11, 2013)

jever said:


> how bad is your anxiety? can you function in a normal daily day, or does it keep you away from stuff like work, going outside etc?
> 
> because then:
> - join the local gym
> ...


yeah my anxiety is bad along with body dysmorphia so unless I am forced to be in public spaces, like going to school or whatever, I don't like putting myself out there.


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## jever (Jun 16, 2013)

Joshua90 said:


> yeah my anxiety is bad along with body dysmorphia so unless I am forced to be in public spaces, like going to school or whatever, I don't like putting myself out there.


psycho cybernetics <-- book, get it asap


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## Unit731 (Mar 6, 2015)

Whatever you do , do not play video games. Playing video games to cope up with the loneliness is the worst thing next to opiates and alcohol .


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## Joshua90 (Jan 11, 2013)

jever said:


> psycho cybernetics <-- book, get it asap


Yeah I guess, my anxiety and body consciousness is linked to other issues though which I'm sure this book can't help explain ie my sexuality and such. I'll look into it.


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## Camel (Apr 7, 2015)

jever said:


> how bad is your anxiety? can you function in a normal daily day, or does it keep you away from stuff like work, going outside etc?
> 
> because then:
> - join the local gym
> ...


Very useful list.
Going to the gym is good. Or you can just workout, running is very good for your mood(!) and health. Playing 5-a-side football or basketball with neighbours.

Going to parks, you can go with an interesting book if you like reading.


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## jever (Jun 16, 2013)

Camel said:


> Very useful list.
> Going to the gym is good. Or you can just workout, running is very good for your mood(!) and health. Playing 5-a-side football or basketball with neighbours.
> 
> Going to parks, you can go with an interesting book if you like reading.


Thanks. The reality is that you can get as busy a life you want, no matter how few friends you feel you have.

sport and gym
hobbies
classes and courses
work
school
volenteer work
travel

the list could be endless...


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## Camel (Apr 7, 2015)

Unit731 said:


> Whatever you do , do not play video games. Playing video games to cope up with the loneliness is the worst thing next to opiates and alcohol .


Absolutely agree about video games, avoid them as a plague.


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## Bored Alien (Feb 5, 2015)

What if you just plain like video games? Plenty of well adjusted people do.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

spending time alone makes you focus on your life and what you need to do in order to get to where you want to be. Spending time alone gives you a HUGE break from negative people. Also so that you can recharge. Socializing is exhausting. I used to enjoy it when I was a teenager, but now I do not.


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## tronjheim (Oct 21, 2012)

I like biking before dawn when the stars are still visible and there's hardly anyone about on the streets. There's hardly any vehicles too so the air is fresher and cleaner.


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## wrongguy (Jan 22, 2015)

Learning to play the guitar has been pretty engaging for me. Playing sort of gets your mind off things.


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

*Outdoors*

Moving fast with my bike

:laugh:
rivers
trees
nettles
cows

sun or rain


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## slowmotionsuicide (Feb 23, 2014)

Ah we are quite similar in that you consider yourself extrovert/talkative yet are too shy and anxious to express it. I know exactly what you mean! I love talking to others but I rarely do :/
However, being alone is a great thing too! Try adding a bit of mindfulness to your activities. When the weather is nice, I like to sit in my garden and just listen to the birds sing and wind rustling in the trees. I could sit like that for hours just relaxing. 
Reading is a great hobby: find some books that interest you and get stuck in!
Watch TV shows and movies. I watched all of Game of Thrones in the space of 2 weeks and it was excellent! Same with Breaking Bad, Orange is the New Black, etc... Go through the IMDB top 250 and make a start on those movies!
Draw! Sketch things. Find faces that interest you and sketch them 
Write stuff: stories, poetry. 
Research things on the internet... I've spent the past few months researching all the places I want to travel to, what I'm gonna do there, and how I'm gonna do it. It's all very exciting and constructive. 
Yoga and meditation!
Having nice long bubble baths
Cooking nice meals for yourself.
The possibilities are endless!!


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