# Post your favorite quotes:



## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Funny quotes.
Pithy quotes.
Offensive quotes.

Post them all here!

"When I was a kid I used to pray for a new bike every night before bed. When I got older I realized God doesn't work that way so I stole a bike and asked God to forgive me."

-and-

An i-Phone is like a penis; it's fun to play with when you're on your own but it's rude to pull it out at the dinner table! - Tom Gleeson, Good News Week.


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## Ventura (May 5, 2009)

> "Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, but stigma and bias shame us all." - Bill Clinton


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## jim11 (May 23, 2011)

This is it:


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## SoWrongItsRight (May 9, 2012)

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional


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## Perkins (Dec 14, 2010)

"When you remember me, it means that you've carried something of who I am with you, that I left some kind of mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles stand between us. For as long as you remember me, I am never entirely lost. When I'm feeling ghost-like, it is your remembering me that helps remind me I exist. If you forget me, one of the ways I remember who I am will be gone. If you forget, part of who I am is gone." - Frederick Buechner

"Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion." - Muhammad Ali

"Don't judge yourself by other people's standards. You'll always lose." - Billy Corgan

"Pessimism is, in brief, playing the sure game. You cannot lose at it; you may gain. It is the only view of life in which you can never be disappointed. Having reckoned what to do in the worst possible circumstances, when better arise, as they may, life becomes child's play" - Thomas Hardy

"I must learn to love the fool in me the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries."- Theodore Isaac Rubin


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

"I'm not convinced that faith can move mountains, but I've seen what it can do to skyscrapers." - William Gascoyne


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## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

“The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.” - George Jessel


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## Winds (Apr 17, 2011)

James Russell Lowell said:


> Things always seem fairer when we look back at them, and it is out of that inaccessible tower of the past that Longing leans and beckons


:blank


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## anonymid (Oct 16, 2005)

Monotony said:


> "The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public." - George Jessel


Haha, love it!


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## kiirby (Oct 8, 2010)

"If personality is a successful series of unbroken gestures, then there was something gorgeous about him, some heightened reactivity to hope&#8230; such as I have never seen before, and never hope to see again."

_-F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby_

"These were people I would never have spoken to out of this room, but here, at the party, I loathed them more than I thought possible."

_-Bret Easton Ellis, The Rules of Attraction_

"Alas, my friends.

He looked not like the ruins of his former self,

But like the ruins of those ruins."

-_John Ford, The Broken Heart_

"Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit."

-_Oscar Wilde_

"And the boys were all clean, their faces freshly and brutally shaved, their hair painstakingly gelled into exquisite apparent carelessness, with this electric feeling inside of them, which matched the feelings in the girls, that they were all ascending, moving into a future that could only improve them, and I wondered what it was like - the miracle, the stupidity of feeling that."

- _Peter Cameron, Someday This Pain May Be Useful to You_

"I wish the whole day were like breakfast, when people are still connected to their dreams, focused inward, and not yet ready to engage with the world around them. I realized this is how I am all day; for me, unlike other people, there doesn't come a moment after a cup of coffee or a shower or whatever when I suddenly feel alive and awake and connected to the world. If it were always breakfast, I would be fine."

- _Peter Cameron_

"I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited."

- _Sylvia Plath_

"It is often argued that religion is valuable because it makes men good, but even if this were true it would not be a proof that religion is true. That would be an extension of pragmatism beyond endurance. Santa Claus makes children good in precisely the same way, and yet no one would argue seriously that the fact proves his existence. The defense of religion is full of such logical imbecilities."

- _H. L. Menckenv_


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Grizzly Bear Warning
The Alaska Department of Fish and Game recently issued this warning...
"Warning: In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert of bears while in the field. We advise outdoorsmen to wear noisy little bells on their clothing, so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognise the difference between black bear and grizzly bear manure: Black bear manure is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear manure has little bells in it and smells like pepper."




-- "There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."


....


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)




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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Republican 7 Steps of Denial
1) There's no such thing as global warming.
2) There's global warming, but the scientists are exaggerating. It's not significant.
3) There's significant global warming, but man doesn't cause it.
4) Man does cause it, but it's not a net negative.
5) It is a net negative, but it's not economically possible to tackle it.
6) We need to tackle global warming, so make the poor pay for it.
7) Global warming is bad for business. Why did the Democrats not tackle it earlier?


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

I don't know how cloud's are formed, but the clouds do, and that's the important thing.


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## Famous (Sep 6, 2011)

_The line between social reality and science fiction is an optical illusion._ 
Jazzy B


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## forex (Dec 29, 2010)

listen to that speech :nw


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## Fruitcake (Jan 19, 2012)

“How often do I lull my seething blood to rest, for you have never seen anything so unsteady, so uncertain, as this heart.” 
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, The Sorrows of Young Werther


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

What is Christianity?

It is the belief that a two-thousand-year-old Jewish zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat an apple off a magical tree in wonderland.


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## avoidobot3000 (Aug 22, 2010)

I read this just now:

"Let it not be your honor henceforth whence ye come, but whither ye go! Your Will and your feet which seek to surpass you--let these be your new honor!" 

Nietzsche was a pretty good guy--apart from the misogyny. :teeth


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## GuyMontag (Dec 12, 2010)

"If there's anything the nonconformist hates hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity."


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## The Sleeping Dragon (Sep 29, 2011)

"It's unlucky to be superstitious."


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## Fruitcake (Jan 19, 2012)

GuyMontag said:


> "If there's anything the nonconformist hates hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity."


I like that. It sums up quite a few "nonconformists" I know.


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## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Special Occasions are NOT for making memories.
Every Day the Good Lord gives you is for making memories.


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## anonymid (Oct 16, 2005)

My favorite "Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handey:


To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

~~~

If you drop your keys into molten lava, just let 'em go, 'cause, man, they're gone.

~~~

Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, going through your stuff.

~~~

Whenever you read a good book, it’s like the author is right there in the room talking to you, which is why I don’t like to read good books.

~~~

How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have that dangerous beak.

~~~

It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money.

~~~

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.

~~~

If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you.

~~~

Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.

~~~

If the Vikings were around today, they would probably be amazed at how much glow-in-the-dark stuff we have, and how we take so much of it for granted.

~~~

Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I think, "Aw, who cares?" And then I think, "Hey, what's for supper?"


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## ppl are boring (Jun 2, 2012)

"Live and let live. That’s my motto. Live and let live. Anyone who cant go along with that, take 'em outside and shoot the mother****er."

--George Carlin


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## Fruitcake (Jan 19, 2012)

“If you want to write, if you want to create, you must be the most sublime fool that God ever turned out and sent rambling. You must write every single day of your life. You must read dreadful dumb books and glorious books, and let them wrestle in beautiful fights inside your head, vulgar one moment, brilliant the next. You must lurk in libraries and climb the stacks like ladders to sniff books like perfumes and wear books like hats upon your crazy heads. I wish you a wrestling match with your Creative Muse that will last a lifetime. I wish craziness and foolishness and madness upon you. May you live with hysteria, and out of it make fine stories — science fiction or otherwise. Which finally means, may you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world.”


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## Octal (Aug 2, 2011)

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."
-Oscar Wilde


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

_"We may be in a hallucination here but that's no excuse for being delusional"_

*Khalid, The Years Of Rice & Salt*

_"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is"_

*Jan van de Snepscheut*

_"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience"_

*Pierre Teilhard de Chardin*

_"All that is not eternal, is eternally out of date"_

*C.S. Lewis*



GuyMontag said:


> "If there's anything the nonconformist hates hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity."


I quite like that. I looked up it's author & added it to my favorite quotes on facebook


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## BlazingLazer (Jul 16, 2011)

Fruitcake said:


> "If you want to write, if you want to create, you must be the most sublime fool that God ever turned out and sent rambling. You must write every single day of your life. You must read dreadful dumb books and glorious books, and let them wrestle in beautiful fights inside your head, vulgar one moment, brilliant the next. You must lurk in libraries and climb the stacks like ladders to sniff books like perfumes and wear books like hats upon your crazy heads. I wish you a wrestling match with your Creative Muse that will last a lifetime. I wish craziness and foolishness and madness upon you. May you live with hysteria, and out of it make fine stories - science fiction or otherwise. Which finally means, may you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world."


"I write because I like to write" - Paddy Chayefsky


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## GuyMontag (Dec 12, 2010)

ppl are boring said:


> "Live and let live. That's my motto. Live and let live. Anyone who cant go along with that, take 'em outside and shoot the mother****er."
> 
> --George Carlin


That's a good one. I love Carlin.



Canadian Brotha said:


> I quite like that. I looked up it's author & added it to my favorite quotes on facebook


Yeah, Bill Vaughan has a couple other amusing quotes. I just realized now that I put the word hates twice by mistake.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

_"I'm a rage-a-holic! I just can't live without rage-a-hol!"_

*Homer Simpson*

_"As for me knowing everything...I know I don't, however, I think I do, I'm stubborn like that"_

*Canadian Brotha*


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Republican 7 Steps of Denial
1) There's no such thing as global warming.
2) There's global warming, but the scientists are exaggerating. It's not significant.
3) There's significant global warming, but man doesn't cause it.
4) Man does cause it, but it's not a net negative.
5) It is a net negative, but it's not economically possible to tackle it.
6) We need to tackle global warming, so make the poor pay for it.
7) Global warming is bad for business. Why did the Democrats not tackle it earlier?


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## intheshadows (Apr 5, 2011)

I'm getting too old for this **** - Murtaugh


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## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

I want to be human being. Not a human doing.


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## MA70 (Jul 3, 2012)

"There is no such thing as innocence, only degrees﻿ of guilt"-

"Bless the mind too small for doubt."
-Chaplain (Wharhammer 40koW)


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## MA70 (Jul 3, 2012)

MA70 said:


> "There is no such thing as innocence, only degrees﻿ of guilt"-
> 
> "Bless the mind too small for doubt."
> -Chaplain (Wharhammer 40koW)


*Chaplain (Wharhammer 40k: DoW)


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## pythonesque (Jun 16, 2012)

"Every protagonist represents only himself; in place of a change in the social setting, he seeks simply in the revolutionary act the sublimation of his own image."

- from _Sans Soleil_


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## mdiada (Jun 18, 2012)

"if you're going to ride my ***, then at least pull my hair!" -- favoritest bumpersticker ever <3


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

This was something that made me lol hard from Samurai Champloo:

*Gay Dutchman:* 'Eventually the day will come when this country will accept people like me. I am sure that this country will stop being so tight-assed one day.

*Mugen: *'Who's gonna relax their *** with you around, buddy?'


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

From The Hobbit: "Remember what Bilbo used to say: 'It's a dangerous business going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to."


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## tennislover84 (May 14, 2010)

"The trick was to just not give a ****"

-Steven Seagal's bad voice-over double, from "Driven To Kill" AKA "Ruslan" AKA "Terrible Movie"

I really wanted to post in this thread but I couldn't think of any meaningful quotes. :b


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## cooperativeCreature (Sep 6, 2010)

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you're looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that will be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you.


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## MurrayJ (Sep 5, 2012)

“What Darwin was too polite to say, my friends, is that we came to rule the earth not because we were the smartest, or even the meanest, but because we have always been the craziest, most murderous mother****ers in the jungle.”

- Stephen King, Cell


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## Mur (Jan 20, 2011)

"Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people"
-Carl Jung


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## IveGotToast (Jan 1, 2013)

Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air that you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the world. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. *Makes her a home.*


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## cosmicslop (Nov 24, 2012)

I transcribed it from the WTF with Marc Maron podcast, but unfortunately I don't remember what episode it was from. it's crass, tongue in cheek, but poignant.

"I don't have many regrets because I worked through I lot of them. I got a few, but there's really nothing you can do but accept them after a certain point. I mean you're going to fúck your life up. That's what human beings do. We're here to make a mess and then reckon with that mess and see if we can stand on top on that pile of shít and say, 'Yeah, I'm okay with this. I did the best I could. I made some mistakes, but this is my pile of shít. If you don't mind, I'm going to build a house out of it. I'm going to build a house out of the rubble of my pile of shít, live in it, and proudly decorate it on the holidays.'"
- Marc Maron

edit: omg.


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

cell give up, you cant win


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

"It seems to me that trying to live without friends is like milking a bear to get cream for your morning coffee. It is a whole lot of trouble, and then not worth much after you get it."
-Zora Neale Hurston

"Like all failed experiments, that one taught me something I didn't expect: one key ingredient of so-called experience is the delusional faith that it is unique and special, that those included in it are privileged and those excluded from it are missing out." 
― Jennifer Egan, _A Visit from the Goon Squad_


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## LolaEliot (Jun 20, 2013)

When you're a kid, they tell you it's all grow up. Get a job, get married, get a house, have a kid, and that's it. But the true is, the world is so much stranger than that. It's so much darker, and so much madder, and so much better. -- Doctor Who


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## Mur (Jan 20, 2011)

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt


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## Perkins (Dec 14, 2010)

"You're terminated, ****er."

"You think you're so cool 'cuz you can pee with your penis! Get a new conditioner. Your ends are totally split."


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Some people die at age 25, but aren't buried until 75. 
Ben Franklin


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## CordyRae (May 4, 2012)

Mad. Mad thoughts. Crazy, twisted, sinewy Mad obsession. You sicken me. You're so beautiful, love. I grind you into a fine, soft Powder and inhale you... And then lick you off of my fingers. You love, answer me. Your face brings me death every day... And every day I can't wait to die. Bury me now, love. Bury me now.
-Thayer, _Teenage Dirtbag_


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## Vuldoc (Sep 8, 2011)

Don't take life too seriously, nobody makes it out alive anyway
- unknown

Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man
-His Dudeness


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. _Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life_." ― Terry Pratchett


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## Charmander (Sep 5, 2012)

_"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" _


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

No drop of water feels it's responsible for the flood.


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## Yer Blues (Jul 31, 2013)

“If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting” - Jack Handy


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## SPOjuan (Aug 28, 2013)

"It is good to meet girl in park, but better to park meat in girl" :evil


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## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Take a look at my signature.


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## arm08139914 (Sep 4, 2013)

“Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.”

Arthur C. Clarke


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

“Suffering is a gift. In it is hidden mercy.” 


"You think because you understand 'one' you must also understand 'two', because one and one make two. But you must also understand 'and'.”


"I will soothe you and heal you,
I will bring you roses.
I too have been covered with thorns.”

- Rumi


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## Outofmycomfortzone (Sep 3, 2013)

“If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.” - Henry Wadsword Longfellow


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## Outofmycomfortzone (Sep 3, 2013)

Thanks for reminding me about Rumi!
"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." 
"If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?" 
"Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself." -Rumi
-------
["Even 
After 
All this time
The Sun never says to the Earth,
"You owe me."
Look
What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the whole sky." ]

"Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions." -Hafiz

------
"She had blue skin,
And so did he.
He kept it hid
And so did she.
They searched for blue
Their whole life through,
Then passed right by-
And never knew."

"All the woulda-coulda-shouldas
Layin' in the sun,
Talkin' 'bout the things
They woulda-coulda-shouldas done &#8230;
But those woulda-coulda-shouldas
All ran away and hid
From one little did."

"So what if nobody came? 
I'll have all the ice cream and tea, 
And I'll laugh with myself, 
And I'll dance with myself, 
And I'll sing, "Happy Birthday to me!" - Shel Silverstein


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## Noll (Mar 29, 2011)

"In their behavior toward creatures, all men are Nazis. Human beings see oppression vividly when they're the victims. Otherwise they victimize blindly and without a thought."

"You have just dined, and however scrupulously the slaughterhouse is concealed in the graceful distance of miles, there is complicity."

"Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we stop harming all other living beings, we are still savages."


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## shadeguy (Mar 28, 2013)

"It's time to kick *** and chew bubblegum.
And I'm all outta gum"

Duke


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

'True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.'


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

****, I knew there was already a thread for this! How embarrassing.

A few from _Wuthering Heights:

_"Proud people breed sad sorrows for themselves."

"One tree may grow as crooked as another, with the same wind to twist it."

"He's such a cobweb, a pinch would annihilate him."


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## oku (Dec 9, 2013)

"Be nicer than necessary to everyone you meet. Everyone is fighting some kind of battle."


"The world is simple, but people are complicated."


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)




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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” – Chinese Proverb


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## euphoria04 (May 8, 2012)

Persephone The Dread said:


>


Amen.


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## jhwelch (Jan 14, 2014)

"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got." Henry Ford (1863-1947)


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)




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## Auld Crabbit (Jan 17, 2014)




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## strayshadow (Sep 19, 2013)

"I am not this hair,
I am not this skin,
I am the soul that lives within." - Rumi


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

There's a nut, or group of nuts out there that are morbidly obsessed with swedish feminists.. and probably have suspects locked up in there basement.

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...gal-for-585362-post1066022073/#post1066022073


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## AceEmoKid (Apr 27, 2012)

"If you have a dream, don't wait. Act. One of life's little rules. Got it memorized?"
-Axel

This was my senior quote in my high school yearbook. :yes


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## Ally (Jan 12, 2007)

^ aww.. I love that.

"If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present."


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

"...And he who is versed in the science of numbers can tell of the regions of weight and measure, but he cannot conduct you thither.

...For the vision of one man lends not its wings to another man."


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

"At the city gate and by your fireside I have seen you prostrate yourself and worship your own freedom,
Even as slaves humble themselves before a tyrant and praise him though he slays them.
Ay, in the grove of the temple and in the shadow of the citadel I have seen the freest among you wear their freedom as a yoke and a handcuff.
And my heart bled within me; for you can only be free when even the desire of seeking freedom becomes a harness to you, and when you cease to speak of freedom as a goal and a fulfilment.


You shall be free indeed when your days are not without a care nor your nights without a want and a grief,
But rather when these things girdle your life and yet you rise above them naked and unbound.


And how shall you rise beyond your days and nights unless you break the chains which you at the dawn of your understanding have fastened around your noon hour?
In truth that which you call freedom is the strongest of these chains, though its links glitter in the sun and dazzle your eyes.


And what is it but fragments of your own self you would discard that you may become free?
If it is an unjust law you would abolish, that law was written with your own hand upon your own forehead.
You cannot erase it by burning your law books nor by washing the foreheads of your judges, though you pour the sea upon them.
And if it is a despot you would dethrone, see first that his throne erected within you is destroyed.
For how can a tyrant rule the free and the proud, but for a tyranny in their own freedom and a shame in their own pride?
And if it is a care you would cast off, that care has been chosen by you rather than imposed upon you.
And if it is a fear you would dispel, the seat of that fear is in your heart and not in the hand of the feared.


Verily all things move within your being in constant half embrace, the desired and the dreaded, the repugnant and the cherished, the pursued and that which you would escape.
These things move within you as lights and shadows in pairs that cling.
And when the shadow fades and is no more, the light that lingers becomes a shadow to another light.
And thus your freedom when it loses its fetters becomes itself the fetter of a greater freedom."


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## Fatguyinalittlecoat (Jan 21, 2014)

"Bend over " - Ron Jeremy


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)




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## lifeimpossible123 (Jan 29, 2014)

read my signature


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## Taplow (Apr 18, 2014)

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt.


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## slyfox (Nov 18, 2007)

Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself.


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## Kalliber (Aug 18, 2012)

Stop trying to make fetch happen its not gonna happen


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## Lonelyguy111 (Oct 14, 2013)

*Kurt Vonnegut Jr. From Mother Night*

I think I may have already put this one up, but this is one that I think of when I am trying to figure people out and they are just too bizarre for me to understand.

*ALL PEOPLE ARE INSANE. 
THEY WILL DO ANYTHING AT ANYTIME,
AND GOD HELP ANYONE WHO LOOKS FOR REASONS WHY.
*~~~ Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

From the novel Mother Night.


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## Taplow (Apr 18, 2014)

If one only wished to be happy, this could be easily accomplished; but we wish to be happier than other people, and this is always difficult, for we believe others to be happier than they are. - Baron de Montesquieu.

Whatever it is, I'm against it. - Groucho Marx.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)




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## Putin (May 21, 2013)

"Rats, confined in a limited space and fed solely on those chemical products we stuff them with become, apparently, much nastier and more aggressive than usual.
Doomed as they multiply to pile on top of each other, men will detest each other much more than before, they will even invent unwonted forms of hatred, they will rend each other as they never did before, and a universal civil war will explode."
-E.M. Cioran


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## Taplow (Apr 18, 2014)

"Get off my roof you maniac." - My new next door neighbour.


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## BadGirl (Jan 6, 2013)

F. Scott Fitzgerald


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## Junebuug (Jun 17, 2014)

Kalliber said:


> Stop trying to make fetch happen its not gonna happen


:clap:clap:clap

Rejection from society is what created the x-men!


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## Kalliber (Aug 18, 2012)

Junebuug said:


> :clap:clap:clap
> 
> Rejection from society is what created the x-men!


o.o yeapp


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## PlayerOffGames (Mar 19, 2007)

"breathe in the negative...breathe out the positive"

- Osho


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## AllieG (Feb 20, 2014)

You can't change the past, you can only control the present.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

When Einstein was told of the publication of a book entitled, '100 Authors Against Einstein', he replied: "Why one hundred? If I were wrong, one would have been enough."

God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically.

Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal.


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## slyfox (Nov 18, 2007)

Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

"Sometimes you just need a hug. On the penis. With a vagina."

Lol I love my fb feed.


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## spitfire444 (Feb 7, 2014)

Always Outnumbered Never Outgunned


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## spititout (Sep 7, 2014)

if youre gonna sniff may as well pop it if youre gonna pop it may as well mainline

now what shall we talk about

its immaculate perfection

would you **** me

our birds heads are fallin off


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)




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## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

'' So many have said so..... yet, here I am '' 

Sherlock Homes defiant in the fact that he could have been killed long ago my his foes but he lives on still solving crimes.


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## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

Quote ; ''Ah , see ? that shut you up , didnt it.?!''

Me.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

"If you've told a child a thousand times and he still does not understand, then it is not the child who is the slow learner."

reddit.com/r/quotes


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## Owl-99 (Mar 7, 2012)

Life is like a long cold shower with soap in your eyes.


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## Owl-99 (Mar 7, 2012)

Offend a friend day.


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## Owl-99 (Mar 7, 2012)

Love is an allusion just ask the Sandman.


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## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

quote '' I hate these people that dish it out.... but cant take it!!''

me.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

It doesn't matter why the sun rises each day. What matters is that it *does*.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Religious people who haven't read their holy book have essentially clicked "Agree" without reading the terms and conditions.

When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.

If Obama was the president of Kenya, he would be their first white president.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

This one has really helped me lately:

_"Note to self: every time you were convinced you couldn't go on, you did."_

So, so true.


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## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

quote. '' I told you!'' 

me


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## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

quote. '' I have patience for the things that matter, I dont need it for trivial crap that is boring or routine'' 

ME


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

Its better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not

I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens 

life is like riding a bicycle to keep your balance you have to keep moving


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

So much would be better about this planet if people really understood how deeply their ability to choose who they are is impacted by their circumstances.




Everybody lies.
Gregory House


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## Hikikomori2014 (Sep 8, 2014)

All mine: "so...what's your point?"


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## AceEmoKid (Apr 27, 2012)

"You ripped the horn off the unicorn because you wanted it to be a normal horse. But it’ll never be a normal horse because now there’s that circular scab on its forehead."

Wilfred words of wisdom to live by.


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## Owl-99 (Mar 7, 2012)

when one door opens another one shuts in your face .


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)




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## zomgz (Aug 17, 2009)

"I like the stars. It's the illusion of permanence, I think. I mean, they're always flaring up and caving in and going out. But from here, I can pretend&#8230;I can pretend that things last. I can pretend that lives last longer than moments. Gods come, and gods go. Mortals flicker and flash and fade. Worlds don't last; and stars and galaxies are transient, fleeting things that twinkle like fireflies and vanish into cold and dust. But I can pretend."

- Neil Gaiman, _The Sandman Vol. 7: Brief Lives_


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## gamingpup (Jul 10, 2013)

"If you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree it'll forever believe its stupid"


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## VictimEternal (Aug 10, 2014)

"Now it's built to be my hair i let grow" -John Taylor


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

zomgz said:


> "I like the stars. It's the illusion of permanence, I think. I mean, they're always flaring up and caving in and going out. But from here, I can pretend&#8230;I can pretend that things last. I can pretend that lives last longer than moments. Gods come, and gods go. Mortals flicker and flash and fade. Worlds don't last; and stars and galaxies are transient, fleeting things that twinkle like fireflies and vanish into cold and dust. But I can pretend."
> 
> - Neil Gaiman, _The Sandman Vol. 7: Brief Lives_


A wonderful quote! And a Gaiman fan...?


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## mixtape (Dec 18, 2010)

“My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.”
― Frank Zappa


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## Aribeth (Jan 14, 2012)

"_Death_ is the _solution_ to _all problems_. _No man_ - _no problem_." - Joseph Stalin


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## romeoindespair (Oct 16, 2014)

"I am an invisible man. No, I am not a spook like those who haunted Edgar Allen Poe; nor am I one of your Hollywood-movie extoplasms. I am a man of substance, of flesh and bone, fiber and liquids—and I might even be said to possess a mind. I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me. Like the bodiless heads you see sometimes in circus sideshows, it is as though I have been surrounded by mirrors of hard, distorting glass. When they approach me they see only my surroundings, themselves, or figments of their imagination—indeed, everything and anything except me."

Ralph Ellison


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## zomgz (Aug 17, 2009)

JustThisGuy said:


> A wonderful quote! And a Gaiman fan...?


Yes, indeed. :yes


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## Sleeper92 (Oct 3, 2010)

Aribeth said:


> "_Death_ is the _solution_ to _all problems_. _No man_ - _no problem_." - Joseph Stalin


Death of a one man is a tragedy,death of millions is a statistic-Stalin


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

Stalin needs some counseling - some person


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## kivi (Dec 5, 2014)

"From my rotting body, flowers shall grow and I am in them and that is eternity." Edvard Munch


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## mixtape (Dec 18, 2010)

Do, or do not. There is no try - Yoda


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Doubtless I've posted this before but:

"We may be in a hallucination here but that's no excuse for being delusional"


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## SouthWest (Dec 4, 2014)

"Everything good dies here. Even the stars." - _I Walked with a Zombie_


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## KGL13 (Oct 14, 2013)

"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth." -Marcus Aurelius


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## hazel22 (Dec 4, 2014)

"To practise anything other than kindness towards [others], to treat them in any way save generously, is to quietly deny their humanity."

"I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'" -Kurt Vonnegut

Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past.
- Jack Kornfield

"We are all of us born with a letter inside us, and that only if we are true to ourselves, may we be allowed to read it before we die."
― Douglas Coupland

"I do not speak as I think, I do not think as I should, and so it all goes on in helpless darkness."

"The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely."
― C.G. Jung

One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.


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## ilylikekanyeloveskanye (Jan 20, 2015)

1. "Don't take anything personally. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering."

2. "Be impeccable with your words. Speak with integrity. Avoiding using the words to gossip about others."


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## TabbyTab (Oct 27, 2013)

"You want society to accept you, but you can't even accept yourself."


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

"Some infinities are bigger than other infinities." - The Fault in Our Stars (John Green).

"There is a battle of wolves inside us all. 
One is Evil. It is Anger, Jealousy, Greed, Resentment, Lies, Inferiority and Ego.
The Other is Good. It is Joy, Peace, Love, Hope, Humility, Kindness, Empathy and Truth.
The Wolf That Wins? The One You Feed."
- Cherokee Proverb.


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## Haz606 (Mar 8, 2015)

I watched The Fault in Our Stars the other day ^^ great film

'the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about' Oscar Wilde


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