# Help! My parents want me to go to a youth group!



## Mitch45 (Jun 24, 2012)

Hello. I'm 15 and living in a family of fundamentalist baptists who go to church not very often (a few times a year). I "gave my heart" to Jesus at about age 11-12. A long while afterwards, I started doubting my faith until I became agnostic about 2 years ago and then eventually an atheist, as I had always been a science-loving skeptic. I have not said a word about it to my parents whatsoever and I simply play along with it when they mention anything to do with Christianity. Lately, my family has been pressured by my relatives to go to their church every Sunday, oh dear. Because of this, my parents are also really determined to get me into the church youth group. I absolutely DO NOT want to be involved in it because it basically consists of a program that is meant to get you "closer to god" with the help of your peers and a youth adult leader. (which is brainwashing, in my view) Not only does it involve heavy religious activities, but also includes a huge amount of social interaction and teamwork with a bunch of heavily religious strangers about my age, which comes back to the problem of my social anxiety. My mum even mentioned that she wanted me to go to the youth group because I "Need to get closer to God" and because I "Don't have many friends and I am going to grow up as a shy loner with no girlfriend if i don't go" (How insulting!) She is pretty much forcing me to go. What are your opinions on what I should do?
Thanks.


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## Joe (May 18, 2010)

I know a few people who go to church youth groups that are atheists just to talk to their friends although they had been going since they were young. But with SA that's not something that's appealing. 

It's best to tell her your an atheist though and don't care about the church and see what she does. You (probably) can't lie forever.


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## fallfires (Dec 27, 2011)

At 15, I'd be hesitant to throw out the atheist card to religious parents unless you are absolutely confident that they will be ok with it. Some people think atheists are worse than rapists, you know. 
You could, however, tell your mom that you've been questioning your faith, and that having it forced on you even by well-meaning people is causing you to push back even harder (typical teenage reaction to being told what to do), and to top it all off, being in a group of outgoing, enthusiastic extroverts will just make you back into a corner and lash out like a cornered animal. Try a compromise of promising to read the bible a little every day instead for the religious part (which is beneficial to atheists, anyway!), and volunteering somewhere for the social part (do your research so you don't get caught in a really religious volunteer group. Animal shelters are great to start with).
Ideally, you'd just suck it up and go, making sure to ask questions that lead to other kids questioning their faith and maybe finding an atheist/agnostic friend in the same situation as you. But I understand that that's not how SA works! 
I hope it all works out for you. Sucks being a teen with SA being forced into uncomfortable social situations.


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## wordscancutyoulikeglass (May 4, 2012)

Youth group is actually really fun being an agnostic (or atheist). I go on purpose, to keep my parents from figuring out that I'm not christian anymore. Everyone at the youth group knows I'm agnostic, and they still let me join in on games and goof off with them. There's surprisingly not much 'bible talk' at many youth church organizations, usually only a half hour of it or so and the rest of the time is playing games and socializing. If you're parents aren't there, there's really no more reason to pretend that you 'believe'.


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## southernelle (Aug 1, 2012)

I questioned a lot of things about my faith, I still do. An entire section of my family is baptist so I know what you are going through. I dont debate creationalism, big bang, ecetera, because It's just not a big deal to me. It's not important to me. 
but this isn't about your religion.

This is about your parents wanting you to attend a youth group where they are already very into their religion and make you uncomfortable.

Tell your mother or father that large groups of people make you VERY VERY uncomfortable. if it wasn't a youth group would you show more interest? I would reason that you would rather volunteer at shelters or read to kids at the library or something that would appear "social and moral" to your parents. Joining a group is a good thing, try finding another group that does more active things but isn't affiliated with religion.

If they lay down the law and DRAG you there, try making the best of it. Maybe you'll find a comrade within the group, and have a decent time.


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## ErinK8 (Aug 26, 2012)

Seriously, you might want to get college tuition before you drop the A-bomb.


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## Solomon's Tomb (Aug 14, 2012)

Or just go to the youth group and mess with everybody there, then when they tell your parents you've been acting up you can say "THEY HAVE THE DEVIL IN THEM AND SERVE NONE OTHER THAN SATAN!"


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