# what do you look for in another person and why?



## River In The Mountain (Jun 6, 2011)

Just wondering. Sort of bored, sort of mulling that one over myself. Thought it would be interesting to see what other people look for in a significant other and why. Im sure this thread has been done a million times already but Im too lazy to check that out. :roll


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## tutliputli (Feb 22, 2009)

Someone who completely loves and accepts me the way I am, and someone who I feel the same way about. That's pretty much it. It sounds simple but it's rare.


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## Mr Blues (Apr 1, 2011)

First and foremost - someone who does not play games (expect to be 'chased' and all that malarky). And someone who can accept my SA, and not make me feel like I need to hide it and torture myself in the process.


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## jg43i9jghy0t4555 (Jul 31, 2011)

pretty long list, just a few things here

wants to chase and be chased
child-like, innocently upbeat
unintentionally dramatic, or emotionally screwed up, needs to be 'saved' (yes, that's a real attraction)
pretty with a unique face
silly and in a weird quirky but happy way, pulling cute faces
emotionally intelligent, receptive to feelings
witty, gets certain dark types of humor
socially vulnerable. (i'm selfish)
impulsive
understanding and tolerant


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## PaysageDHiver (Jun 18, 2011)

In very general terms: Someone I can form a strong "team" with, to confront the challenges of life. She has my back and I have her's. We'll work together to deal with whatever comes up. But she's her own person and doesn't derive all of her identity from me. 

More specifically: Someone whose idea of a great afternoon is lunch at a coffee shop followed by a few hours in a book store. 'Nuff said.


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## Imaginative dreamer (Aug 4, 2011)

Somebody who will work 50/ 50 with me all the way. Who is family orientated, has goals, whos kind, faithful, loving and has true morals.


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

Someone I can relate to, common interests and a good sense of humour.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Things I look for in relatinoship material:

1. Physical attraction
2. Intelligence
3. Humility
4. Respect/self-respect
5. Motivated/passionate
6. Good communicator
7. Confidence

I think most well-rounded women have this so it isn't about being perfect. Rather, it's about being an optimistic and open person, and I find these types typically have these characteristics.


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## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

Someone who is obsessed with music (major plus). Compassionate and caring. Someone who's comfortable with staying in on a Friday night or going out on a random adventure. That's about it. lol


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## Logitech (Jul 30, 2011)

Someone who has enough humility to know when she's wrong.
Someone who can bust my balls once in a while to remind me we're equals and not just to put me down.
Someone who's rather flexible and can make do with little.
Someone who's attractive to me physically.
Someone with a good sense of humor.
Someone who's straight-forward with things.

And, of course, she has to like me.


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## Watercoulour (Jul 24, 2011)

Similar intrests
Smart
Ambitious 
Outgoing
Can relate to my humor
Confident/can stick up for himself
Mature
Family Oriented
Protective

As wierd as it sounds, i always think if i marry this person and have kids, will i be happy and my kids be happy? so i want a guy who has control his emotions/isnt super angry 24/7


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## AK32 (Sep 2, 2010)

I look for a good personality, someone who is kind with a great since of humor. Looks aren't always everything, you could be with the most beautiful man you've ever seen, but if he doesn't have the personality to back it up he's just ugly.


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## Zyriel (May 20, 2011)

Someone that touches and stimulates me mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually. The ability to warm the cold heart in my chest and making me feel alive rather than in a perpetual state of wakeful sleep. Sharing contempt for same things for joint *****ing sessions. A twisted sense of humor.


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## andy0128 (Dec 19, 2003)

Someone that isn't too controlling, can talk about interesting things, that isn't too serious or stuck up and likes my sense of humour, that i'm attracted to, that isn't too obsessed with money.


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## River In The Mountain (Jun 6, 2011)

Good answers  Everybody seems to know exactly what they want. 
Thing is, I'm not really sure what I want. 
I think maybe my ideal guy would be somebody I could also call my best friend, somebody I just want to share with (dreams, passions, fears, happiness) Trouble is finding that person who wants the same thing. Has to be mutual. ^^ 
Often people want to share the convo but not the heart. :roll I should know, I'm like that myself.


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## Colton (Jun 27, 2011)

I want a girl who is pretty and doesn't put down others. She can be shy or outgoing, smart or dumb. As long as she's kind and is nice to look at.


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## River In The Mountain (Jun 6, 2011)

AK32 said:


> I look for a good personality, someone who is kind with a great since of humor. Looks aren't always everything, you could be with the most beautiful man you've ever seen, but if he doesn't have the personality to back it up he's just ugly.


true. :yes


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## watashi (Feb 6, 2008)

-is single and looking for a long-term relationship
-not a drug user, doesn't drink a lot, non smoker
-appealing physical appearance
-someone I can get along well with
-fairly intelligent and can hold a conversation
-not too serious all the time, someone I can have a laugh with
-down to earth and positive
-not afraid to be themselves and express own opinions
-affectionate, loves hugs
-mature and independent
-trustworthy
-having mutual interests would be great, but not very important


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

Honesty, Consistency, someone to make me laugh, someone who lets me in and lets me be a part of their life and shares there life with me and wants me to share mine with them. Someone who will kindly and compassionately point out errors in thinking and allow me to do the same for them but someone who at the same time is not a know it all... admits when they don't know something and allows themselves not to be perfect... realizing that none of us are. Someone who is intelligent but not in an arrogant way. Someone who knows the real value in things and people and has proper priorities. Someone who is willing to be part of a team... and a partner and a friend... as well as a lover and understands the differences and how they interlink.


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## River In The Mountain (Jun 6, 2011)

caflme said:


> Honesty, Consistency, someone to make me laugh, someone who lets me in and lets me be a part of their life and shares there life with me and wants me to share mine with them. Someone who will kindly and compassionately point out errors in thinking and allow me to do the same for them but someone who at the same time is not a know it all... admits when they don't know something and allows themselves not to be perfect... realizing that none of us are. Someone who is intelligent but not in an arrogant way. Someone who knows the real value in things and people and has proper priorities. Someone who is willing to be part of a team... and a partner and a friend... as well as a lover and understands the differences and how they interlink.


good answer ^^


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## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

sense of humor, nice, reliable, loyal, open-minded, likes me for me, those are the most important things and naturally i have to be attracted to her too.


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## mario8 (Oct 7, 2012)

River In The Mountain said:


> Good answers  Everybody seems to know exactly what they want.
> Thing is, I'm not really sure what I want.
> I think maybe my ideal guy would be somebody I could also call my best friend, somebody I just want to share with (dreams, passions, fears, happiness) Trouble is finding that person who wants the same thing. Has to be mutual. ^^
> Often people want to share the convo but not the heart. :roll I should know, I'm like that myself.


So your basically looking for a clone of yourself? XD
Though if your looking for an "ideal guy", you will be gravely disappointed. Finding what your looking for however, is not THAT hard.


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## mesmerize (Oct 19, 2012)

inteligent open and specially self secure and confident


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## hazelblue (Jun 6, 2012)

Loyalty, level-headedness, self awareness, empathy, independence, consistency, reliability, atheism, courtesy and kindness.


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## sorrwel (May 20, 2012)

Honesty, loyalty, intelligence, empathy.


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## evginmubutu (Sep 12, 2011)

I like introverted girls who have enough confidence to stay that way in this chaotic world. It's so beautiful to see. Also someone who likes sex and isn't ashamed of it.


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## Lonelygirl1986 (Sep 4, 2012)

*Doesn't smoke, never tried. Doesn't do drugs, never tried. Doesn't get drunk alot. (prefably a non-clubber) Doesn't do casual sex flings or one night stands. No porn lol (it is possible if we are having regular sex.) Doesn't flirt with other women. Isn't part of any pervy groups on facebook. **No pictures of glamour models/celebrities hanging about anywhere. **Must not talk about other women in a sexual manner infront of me. **Must not have paid for sex.* *Hasn't been a strip club, never will.* *Doesn't try to change my appearance just accepts me in any form: make-up, no make-up, just got out of bed. **Doesn't pick up on my physical flaws. **Hasn't cheated on anybody. **Strict views on birth control (men try it on.) **Not had underage sex. **Do not talk about me sexually with their friends. **Isn't obsessed with physical perfection, prefers natural women to glamour models and fakery. Playful, child-like nature. Funny, good sense of humour. Honest. Lacks confidence/Introvert/Shyness. Cuddly, i like some meat. **Can tell them everything. **Lonely (I want to light up their life lol.) Older/father figure (someone who will protect me.) Courteous. Jealous/insecure (a bit would be nice.) **Quirky. **Kinky. (up for things but nothing weird.) **Empathetic. **Knowledgable mostly about films and music. **Deep. **Geeky (computer literate is always good.) **Sensible. **Sensitive. **Daft. **Kind. **Harmless. **Caring. **Warm. **Makes me feel sexually desired. (compliments my looks in a nice decent way.) Genuine. (no dodgy skeletons in the cupboard.) **Gentle. (a really soft bloke who will worry about hurting me. Asks me if I'm okay during sex.) **Rough (when I want it lol.) **Appreciates people with good morals.* *Non-judgemental. **Understanding. **Someone I feel comfortable with. **Not vain (infact someone quite the opposite who I have to groom lol.) **Prefably someone who has experienced heartbreak, and not just casual relationships. **Someone whose behaviour I understand. **Someone who I can feel on the same level with who doesn't mock me. **Romantic. **Compassionate. **Humane. **Not many friends. **Not popular at school. **Easy-going. **Open with feelings. Not slept with many people. Affectionate. Has a car. Owns a house. Has a office job or something impressive lol. Take interest in a woman's anatomy, that's always cute. Takes interest in a woman's activities, watching her apply make-up and asking questions. Doesn't use the internet for random hook-ups. Has Tact.*

*I'm not sure if this person does exist. It's highly unlikely.*

*The three main things I HAVE to have is no smoking, no drugs and casual sex/one night stands.*


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## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

No idea.


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## Guldove (Oct 17, 2012)

*Deep thinker*. I'll die of boredom and loneliness if I have to spend my life with someone who isn't interested in things more complicated or abstract than YouTube.

*Low-maintenance*. I don't have the energy for someone high-maintenance.

*Honest*. No games. No "tests." No manipulation.

*Ethical*. Has actual beliefs that they back up.

*Doesn't need verbal affection*. I can't do it. Never have been able to.


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## identitycrisis (Sep 18, 2011)

I want to be with someone who will be honest with me. Argue her side, force me to see when I'm wrong, but be open to admitting it when she's wrong.

I want to be with someone who can laugh at life's absurdities with me, whether those absurdities are within me, or within her.

I want to be with someone who'll challenge me to be a better person. And will be open to being challenged herself.

I want to be with someone who has a great capacity for compassion, who will treat everyone with respect, even the drunk man on the bench or the homeless man begging for money.

I want to be with someone who, on my deathbed or hers, will hold my hand and say "We had a great time, didn't we?"


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## hypestyle (Nov 12, 2003)

River In The Mountain said:


> Good answers  Everybody seems to know exactly what they want.
> Thing is, I'm not really sure what I want.
> I think maybe my ideal guy would be somebody I could also call my best friend, somebody I just want to share with (dreams, passions, fears, happiness) Trouble is finding that person who wants the same thing. Has to be mutual. ^^
> Often people want to share the convo but not the heart. :roll I should know, I'm like that myself.


I place a premium on the character values of kindness, intelligence and social tolerance.
Beyond that, it would be someone who is interested in sharing vulnerabilities without judgment; pop-culture (vid games, movies, tv, comics); traveling/adventure; trying new hobbies; social justice/activism.


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## Strwbrry (Jun 28, 2012)

A kind person, who understands me. Intelligent, idealistic, not afraid to speak their mind. Clear, honest and straightforward (because I can be quite bad in expressing myself at times). Funny and goofy (we need to laugh more than cry).


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## hypestyle (Nov 12, 2003)

Lonelygirl1986 said:


> -Mature when it comes to sex
> -Isn't obsessed with physical perfection
> -Playful
> -Funny
> ...


God bless you. I wish we could hang out.


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## River In The Mountain (Jun 6, 2011)

identitycrisis said:


> I want to be with someone who will be honest with me. Argue her side, force me to see when I'm wrong, but be open to admitting it when she's wrong.
> 
> I want to be with someone who can laugh at life's absurdities with me, whether those absurdities are within me, or within her.
> 
> ...


:agree


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

hypestyle said:


> God bless you. I wish we could hang out.


Do you watch porn?


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## General Specific (Mar 4, 2008)

I was waiting for that sort of remark lol


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## Lonelygirl1986 (Sep 4, 2012)

srschirm said:


> Do you watch porn?


sssshhh it was the circumstances that I didn't like.


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## evginmubutu (Sep 12, 2011)

really? you want someone who lacks confidence? i don't believe it. nobody wants that. maybe you think you want that but surely you would become annoyed by it. no girl wants to hang onto the arm of someone who doesn't know what they want.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

I have no idea. I figure I'll know it when (if) he comes along.


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## Lonelygirl1986 (Sep 4, 2012)

evginmubutu said:


> really? you want someone who lacks confidence? i don't believe it. nobody wants that. maybe you think you want that but surely you would become annoyed by it. no girl wants to hang onto the arm of someone who doesn't know what they want.


Okay, low self steem/shyness/introverted


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## evginmubutu (Sep 12, 2011)

Yeah I like introverted people but I don't like when people _like_ having low esteem. It can become an excuse, and a comfort.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Some one who cares for me no matter what.


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## callalilly26 (Jun 13, 2012)

I look for someone who is respectful of me, caring, sweet, funny, independent, honest, and a good communicator. I like someone who doesn't neglect me but gives me my space, too. I like someone who understands me, doesn't judge, and sees me for who I am inside. I like someone that I feel a connection with and I can be myself around. And I like someone that will push me and motivate me to do better with myself and who supports me and my endeavors. And I look for someone who wants to grow with me and share even the most vulnerable parts of himself with me as I do the same. And it is highly possible that I may have found him


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## Lonelygirl1986 (Sep 4, 2012)

callalilly26 said:


> And it is highly possible that I may have found him


Good on you


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Classy yet sensual
Intelligent but doesn't take life too seriously
Sarcastic yet loving, loyal, and caring
Appreciates quality (entertainment, food, etc.) yet can go with the flow
Brunette
Adventurous
Exciting
Healthy lifestyle
Makes me want to be a better man
Can make me smile just by smiling herself

Someone I can share my soul with, give her all I've got to make her happy for the rest of our lives.


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## callalilly26 (Jun 13, 2012)

thanks Lonelygirl  It has taken awhile but I feel pretty certain this could be the person...well, I'm 100% sure he is the person I've been looking for. I'm seeing him tonight and I'm unbelievably nervous! My heart feels like it's going to pop out of my chest! And the butterflies in my stomach are going mad. It's all a good kind of nervous and I can't wait until I see his lovely face. 


Lonelygirl1986 said:


> Good on you


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## callalilly26 (Jun 13, 2012)

aw  you've got a really nice list.


rymo said:


> Classy yet sensual
> Intelligent but doesn't take life too seriously
> Sarcastic yet loving, loyal, and caring
> Appreciates quality (entertainment, food, etc.) yet can go with the flow
> ...


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

intelligent - enjoys intellectual conversation
takes care of himself (mental and physical health)
sometimes serious, but also knows how to make me laugh until milk comes out of my nose :yes
motivated
loyal
honest, and blunt if needed
independent (has his own life outside of a relationship)


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