# SAD and its stigma in our society



## ddjelassi (Oct 9, 2018)

Hi, everyone! I‘m new here and I‘m looking forward to meeting you all.

I‘m currently doing my final paper on SAD and its stigma in our society. It would be of great help to me, if you answered the questions below.


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## ddjelassi (Oct 9, 2018)

How old are you?
Since when do you have SAD? 
Do you have any secondary disorders?
Have you ever been to therapy before? If not, why? If yes, what kind of therapy?
In what situations is your anxiety really bad?
Do the people around you know of your disorder? If not, why?
Have you ever felt like your disorder isn‘t recognized by others?
What prejudices do others have?
How do you cope with those prejudices?
What do you wish from others?


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## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

For a lot of people with SAD, it's not the stigma that's the problem; it's that antisocial behavior is the manifestation of our social anxiety. We often come across as unfriendly or even mean when in reality, we're afraid of people, and it's our defence mechanisms, fears, and strong desire to get people to like us cause us to act in ways that are incongruent with fitting in and forming healthy relationships.


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## In a Lonely Place (Mar 26, 2012)

> How old are you?


45



> Since when do you have SAD?


Painfully shy and a constantly worried from early childhood. When you're a kid it's all "awww he's shy, sooo cute" then you get into you're teens it's no longer cute and you didn't just "grow out of it". Suddenly people think your'e weird. Now you need a shrink, funny that! Wish people would take shyness in kids more seriously because it's not always a temporary state.



> Do you have any secondary disorders?


I've had depression to contend with down the years which is probably fairly normal as you find yourself unable to have ambitions that seem attainable.



> Have you ever been to therapy before? If not, why? If yes, what kind of therapy?


Numerous rounds of counselling and CBT with mixed results. My last therapist was the catalyst for the changes I'm now reaping the benefits of. She didn't abandon me, got me into adult education to get me out of the house, she did social experiments with me which really helped.



> In what situations is your anxiety really bad?


Social gatherings were always the worst and avoided always. If it's too rowdy with loud people, loud music I still feel overwhelmed.



> Do the people around you know of your disorder? If not, why?


Yes pretty much everyone in my life knows about my past difficulties, even work colleagues.



> Have you ever felt like your disorder isn't recognized by others?


Plenty of times like most of us, I've been told to man up etc...



> What prejudices do others have?


See above



> How do you cope with those prejudices?


I don't get them anymore as I have only good people around me.



> What do you wish from others?


Same as any kind of disablement/disorder/illness, just people to be understanding and patient with people.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

*How old are you?*

27
*
Since when do you have SAD?
*
In early childhood a psychologist who was examining my brother wrote on his report under family background that I had selective mutism. At the time I remember having some hearing tests done but not much else eventually it progressed into social phobia/social anxiety disorder.

So I would say my whole life (at least as far back as I can remember,) but outside of school I'd find making friends pretty easy with other kids, (though even in school I'd manage OK with some kids outside of class,) many adults would scare me though.

Things got worse after I started high school at 11 (UK, not US.)

*
Do you have any secondary disorders?*

Almost certainly, but they are undiagnosed.

*Have you ever been to therapy before?*

Yeah.

*If not, why? If yes, what kind of therapy?*

CBT. CBT on the NHS is very poor I think everyone should be made to see a psychologist before recieving treatment and it needs to become more individualised to be of any use. They also need to start taking stuff seriously in childhood where you have more time/opportunity to fail and improve.

*In what situations is your anxiety really bad?*

I avoid stuff now so hard to say, there is some anxiety in most situations where I have to talk to someone. If I don't then it's a bit easier even if I'm in a crowded environment (which I think is different to some people here.)

Anything that involves intimacy is hard. I find people being very nice/friendly uncomfortable and as one example if I was staying in a hotel it would be easier to stay in some minimalistic chain hotel then a small bnb type place where people are very bubbly. Using the same shop repeatedly is difficult. Going somewhere reapeatedly so you get to know people. Using people's names in conversation. Talking about how I feel. Expressing I care about people etc.

And then anything that involves judgment of my abilities is more difficult.

And not being able to escape easily, like commiting to something I think will be uncomfortable.

*Do the people around you know of your disorder? If not, why?*

My family do now, they didn't acknowledge it for most of my life though.

*Have you ever felt like your disorder isn't recognized by others?*

I never got the impression that anyone knew in an official sense until uni when I met a couple of people via facebook who told me they had social anxiety disorder in response to some stuff I said. At some point in high school I was asked if I was autistic and people generally thought I was very weird and/or on drugs. I'd get tons of comments on how I never spoke.

I think the identity people force you into makes it worse. Some people I had an easier time talking to than others and I remember I sat next to this guy who thought I was OK and later this other guy warned him against talking to me (no idea what he said since he was whispering but the other guy responded with 'nah they seem OK.')

People picked up on differences as I got older more and more, they knew I was weird but probably didn't know why. A lot of the people in my year at school weren't very intelligent either in a general sense. That sort of thing would be low status.

*What prejudices do others have?*

Well I used to hang out with an abusive psychopath but putting her aside in general..

One girl threatened to slap me because she found my not talking infuriating. And almost everyone had an opinion on how I came across.

You end up often with a very bipolar (yet rigid,) identity to other people where some treat you as an innocent, naive child (apologise for swearing - even though I swear all the time, people make weird assumptions like that when you're anxious) they overreact if you speak (which makes things even more uncomfortable,). If you're with other people sometimes they will expect them to talk for you or they'll talk to them instead of you. And then the other side...:

Essentially you are framed as a serial killer, Satan worshipper, druggy etc. But it didn't help that on non uniform days I wore alternative clothes. I don't regret wearing what I wanted though as it's at least one form of confidence.

There's a stereotype of it always being the quiet ones.

Mostly this was negative but there was this strange goth guy I knew once who read my tarot cards a few times and seemed to take some form of satisfaction in the idea that I would 'destroy everyone' everyone being quite vague. That bothered me at the time.

*How do you cope with those prejudices?*

People weren't as big dicks when I was at uni, mostly hung out with other geeky kinds of people the ones who were more extroverted geeks would clearly see me as weirder still though but not too much. There are like tiers I realised from complete outcast to normal. In this new environment there was a guy who had SA and I was told by my introverted friend at one point that he was weird. I can't fault this entirely later on he did seem to develop a weird obsession with me on social media. But still, at some point in a different environment I was closer to his role I think. And I don't think the reason is always valid.

At this point I mostly identify with Satan now, or with antivillains. I am essentially a monster/alien but I think most of the best people are. I'd probably avoid spree killing though.

Not just because of SA though. I have other stuff going on that I don't feel comfortable talking about because I see the stuff others write all the time and I know people's opinions. Stuff that I can't talk about with people at all, especially offline.

*What do you wish from others?*

At this point I don't have much interest in most people. I think mental health treatment generally needs to get a lot better.

I expect people will always feel weird/uncomfortable around people who are different in some way and treat them differently accordingly.


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## ddjelassi (Oct 9, 2018)

Maslow said:


> For a lot of people with SAD, it's not the stigma that's the problem; it's that antisocial behavior is the manifestation of our social anxiety. We often come across as unfriendly or even mean when in reality, we're afraid of people, and it's our defence mechanisms, fears, and strong desire to get people to like us cause us to act in ways that are incongruent with fitting in and forming healthy relationships.


That's a good point. I can see that.
But don't you think, once the stigma is gone more people would get help and the disorder would be seen as such, and not just unfriendliness? If I imagine, all the stigma around mental disorders gone, wouldn't that be of great help for those with mental disorders?
Maybe I'm just idealistic, I don't know haha


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## ddjelassi (Oct 9, 2018)

Thank you so much for the quick replies! They‘re really helpful


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

ddjelassi said:


> But don't you think, once the stigma is gone more people would get help and the disorder would be seen as such, and not just unfriendliness? If I imagine, all the stigma around mental disorders gone, wouldn't that be of great help for those with mental disorders?


I don't really think it's a stigma against the disorder itself though. Being quiet and closed off can be seen as a negative trait in general and it's something that others can also get themselves like anxiety or shyness, but just not to a SAD sufferer's extent so it's likely that most people aren't going to attribute that to a mental disorder. Because of that, it's probably why the majority of people don't understand it or even know about it. If there was no stigma, it probably wouldn't encourage me to get help for it just because of my own irrational thoughts getting in the way.


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## andy0128 (Dec 19, 2003)

ddjelassi said:


> How old are you?
> Since when do you have SAD?
> Do you have any secondary disorders?
> Have you ever been to therapy before? If not, why? If yes, what kind of therapy?
> ...


- 38
- well i identify myself as having sad. Not had a diagnosis but it's more complicated the way i look at it. I've recently had an aspergers diagnosis and some of these other issues may just be comorbid. I've was considered quiet and shy all throughout my childhood but at yhe same time i felt i couldn't relate to some people or struggled in groups, with conflicts, making friends wasn't always straightforward
- at the moment mainly insomnia. It's likely in the past i fell into other categories. Depression, avoidance etc
- therapy for aspergers issues but it felt like a waste of time 
- presentations, interviews, making conversations with strangers. I don't think my case is that severe though it's more i have a hard time understanding social interactions 
- No one knows much because it wouldn't be to my benefit if they did
- Sure i don't think people like us get a very fair deal in society at large. We are discriminated at work in applying for jobs. Most seem to be left hung out to dry. There is a tonne of prejudice. Most people know nothing about the extent of these issues or they have contempt for people like us. I don't care as much about what people think these days.
I wish there was more done to accomodate SA or mental health sufferers in general in our society rather than being seen as a burden or undesirables


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## Wren611 (Oct 19, 2012)

*How old are you?*
31

*Since when do you have SAD? *
I can't pinpoint an actual moment it began but I've always been shy. I was diagnosed at 23, so I've had it at least 8 years.

*Do you have any secondary disorders?*
Yep.

*Have you ever been to therapy before? If not, why? If yes, what kind of therapy?*
I did for a couple of years but it was absolutely pointless.

*In what situations is your anxiety really bad?*
Meeting new people when it's arranged, having to speak to people like shop assistants etc. and using phones.

*Do the people around you know of your disorder? If not, why?*
Yes, and if the subject feels necessary to bring up in conversation with a stranger, I'll let them know.

*Have you ever felt like your disorder isn't recognized by others?*
My family took a long time to acknowledge I had SAD. Strangers and friends have been supportive though.

*What prejudices do others have?*
This was only from my family but I was told I was "lazy" and "lying" about it. I wouldn't put it past them to say things like that again though.

*How do you cope with those prejudices?*
I coped badly.

*What do you wish from others?*
That they learn to be patient and willing to understand what we're going through.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

I forgot to answer your survey.*

How old are you?
*40

*Since when do you have SAD?
*Since I was a little kid, but it didn't really manifest badly until I was in middle school (age 11-13).

*Do you have any secondary disorders?
*I've had bouts of depression, but nothing else that I'm aware of of.

*Have you ever been to therapy before? If not, why? If yes, what kind of therapy?
*No therapy. Not really sure why I haven't, but probably because I've been too scared to go.*

In what situations is your anxiety really bad?
*Small encounters where I can't blend in like one-on-one sessions and asking people for help with general things.

*Do the people around you know of your disorder? If not, why?
*No one knows because I never told anyone.

*Have you ever felt like your disorder isn't recognized by others?
*All the time. Everyone I encounter just thinks I'm quiet.

*What prejudices do others have?
*When you don't talk, people like to make assumptions about you. I've been called gay, thought I was gonna go postal, that I'm a virgin in a making fun of me context, I do drugs, I have bodies in my house (he probably has skin lamp shades), been mentioned to "look out for the quiet ones" or "it's always the quiet ones" when referring to me and the classic rude question "why don't you talk?". A couple other dismissive tendencies are that people think we're just shy or everyone gets anxiety.

*How do you cope with those prejudices?
*I've learned to cope by growing a thick skin and hoping they change the subject.

*What do you wish from others?
*I wish others would realize that words matter and they can hurt. I know we're easy punching bags because of our quiet demeanor, but we do have feelings just like anyone else. I also wish people would know that being quiet doesn't mean that we hate the world. If you try to get to know us, it might take some time to break down our outer walls, but you might be pleasantly surprised at what you find inside.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

I can answer your questions without even having to bother:

1. People just think its shyness
2. Mental health professionals don't take it seriously because it isn't borderline personality disorder or schizophrenia.

Sorry if thats no help, but I don't care.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

BeardedMessiahBob said:


> I can answer your questions without even having to bother:
> 
> 1. People just think its shyness
> 2. Mental health professionals don't take it seriously because it isn't borderline personality disorder or schizophrenia.
> ...


 Couldn't agree more with the above.

*Sorry I didn't answer the questionnaire OP, will try and do so later on in the week if I have time.


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## Raies (Nov 3, 2016)

*How old are you?*

25
*
Since when do you have SAD? 
*
~16-18 yo, I guess? Hard to pinpoint exactly. Had my first panic attacks ~16 but I was functioning okay socially back then.
I got my diagnosis 3-4 years ago.

*Do you have any secondary disorders?*

Insomnia varying a little bit. No other psychological ones, at least diagnosed. (Depression was suspected back in the day?)

*Have you ever been to therapy before? If not, why? If yes, what kind of therapy?*

Nope. I felt that I don't need medicine or therapy, and we agreed with my psychologist that I would contact her if I felt it was necessary.
The reason? I rather push myself to do the things I feel anxious about, and learn out of it in that way, and learn ways to deal with the anxiety.
It has worked quite well and it's what I intend to continue, and it has helped me improve my situation tremendously.

*In what situations is your anxiety really bad?*

Uh. Nowadays? I think just groups and generally being the center of attention. Sometimes, though, I voluntarily do this.

*Do the people around you know of your disorder? If not, why?*

No. It's sort of a taboo in our family, and I don't think it is something that defines me as a person. I don't think people need to know.
I usually tell people who I let close emotionally, so basically girlfriends, and that's it.

*Have you ever felt like your disorder isn't recognized by others?*

Yes. I don't think it's a problem.
*
What prejudices do others have?*

Depends on the social context. I'm usually around quite liberal university students, and I don't feel ANY prejudice at all. They are all very welcoming and open.

Less educated people might have a harder time understanding what it is about, and are less likely to accept that all people may not function the same. You know, the "why don't you just do it" stuff.
*
How do you cope with those prejudices?*

I believe in myself and understand that the value of a person doesn't depend on those around.
*
What do you wish from others?*

Be a decent person in general, I guess.
I don't think people with SA require anything special.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

ddjelassi said:


> How old are you?
> Since when do you have SAD?
> Do you have any secondary disorders?
> Have you ever been to therapy before? If not, why? If yes, what kind of therapy?
> ...


I'm 59.

Not sure when it started really - I guess maybe late teens, although I was able to do most things fairly normally. I started taking a bit of Serepax (a benzo) in my early 20's as far as I can recall - to help with things at work etc.

I was diagnosed as Bipolar 1 about 6 or 7 years ago after a major manic episode.

The worst possible scenario for me would be to have to give a presentation. I've done them before for Uni etc but I took medication to do it. I would imagine I'm quite different to many here - I'm not quiet, I can talk perfectly fine and I'm likely to be the one carrying a conversation in a social situation. This doesn't mean I'm always calm though - I get terrible anxiety sometimes and I also actually can become slightly manic just by talking to people.

I think the people that are important to me (my son and my wife) - know how I am. They had to live with me for a long time. I used to keep it hidden from my friends when I was younger - which is not a good idea. It gives people the wrong impression of you.

I've always thought that the problems we face with these sort of things are created largely by ourselves - how other people recognise those problems hasn't really impacted me that I know of.

I've had a range of therapy - although I wouldn't say I've given myself to it a 100%. Largely because I've always managed to find an inconsistency in the logic behind it.

I've seen more therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, doctors, nurses etc than I can even remember.

I couldn't honestly say I've experienced prejudice at all. This might be because I'm very good at covering it all up - but it may also say something about the people I've had around me too. My problems nowadays revolve more around adapting to my current living arrangements - and the fact that I tend to avoid a lot of things. Moreso than before probably because if I don't want to do something I can just stay home.

I think as time goes by people are becoming more aware of mental health issues in general. The mere fact that we even have advertisements nowadays for things like anxiety is amazing. Not so long ago that would have been unthinkable.


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## anonymoususer2 (Feb 13, 2018)

> Hi, everyone! I'm new here and I'm looking forward to meeting you all.
> 
> I'm currently doing my final paper on SAD and its stigma in our society. It would be of great help to me, if you answer the questions below.


 @ddjelassi Hope this helps you. Good Luck! on the paper.



> How old are you?


25.



> Since when do you have SAD?


After a bad break up on top of substance abuse.



> Do you have any secondary disorders?


Agoraphobia.



> Have you ever been to therapy before? If not, why? If yes, what kind of therapy?


I have been to therapy multiple times throughout life but ultimately I didn't see it providing much help.



> In what situations is your anxiety really bad?


When I'm in public by myself or over crowded places or anywhere with too much sensory stimulation.



> Do the people around you know of your disorder? If not, why?


Yes, because it affects my daily life and relationships.



> Have you ever felt like your disorder isn't recognized by others?


Yes, because a lot of people don't put it into consideration in certain situations.



> What prejudices do others have?


Well, personally with being a male productivity is always thrown in my face. I get called lazy instead of empathy towards the situation.



> How do you cope with those prejudices?


I continue to do the best I can despite what negative things may be said. I try to remember that its difficult to understand it unless you've experienced it.



> What do you wish from others?


Ultimately, more opportunities and self-help resources. Work wise or school wise. More awareness and empathy from others. Easier access to financial assistance while working towards bettering your self.


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## OcularZero (May 17, 2017)

*How old are you?*

21

*Since when do you have SAD? *

14-15, at the latest.

*Do you have any secondary disorders?*

Depression, generalized anxiety and avoidant personality

*Have you ever been to therapy before? If not, why? If yes, what kind of therapy?*

Yes; individual CBT and emotion-focused therapy, group CBT/DBT in two hospitals and a weekly group

*In what situations is your anxiety really bad?*

When I'm having to divulge anything remotely personal or have to do any kind of performance around strangers (e.g. doing difficult classwork)

*Do the people around you know of your disorder? If not, why?*

My family does, though I try not to reveal the severity of it.

*Have you ever felt like your disorder isn't recognized by others?*

Yeah, as others have said, mostly through it being interpreted as shyness.

*What prejudices do others have?*

The only one I've knowingly dealt with is professionals dismissing my avoidant personality problems and focusing on SAD.

*What do you wish from others?*

Research things and listen sympathetically.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

ddjelassi said:


> How old are you?


46



ddjelassi said:


> Since when do you have SAD?


Mine started around puberty. It developed slowly, in response to bullying in high school. It was full-blown by my early 20s.

I'm a late bloomer compared to most people here. I was in drama class in high school, and I used to be the first person on the dance floor at high school dances. I won an award for public speaking.



ddjelassi said:


> Do you have any secondary disorders?


I haven't been officially diagnosed with anything, but these are the ones I'm sure about: anxiety, OCD, gender dysphoria, phobias, nightmare disorder, insomnia, migraines and suicidal ideation without depression. Nobody takes self-diagnoses seriously, though. I got an unofficial diagnosis of somatic symptom disorder from a GP because they're getting tired of me showing up at the clinic with symptoms they can't diagnose. I have auditory and olfactory hallucinations but those could be migraine-related.



ddjelassi said:


> Have you ever been to therapy before? If not, why? If yes, what kind of therapy?


I've never been to a therapist because I can't afford to see one. Even if I went, I can't afford medication. I taught myself CBT and ACT, meditate, and have been studying psychology for over 20 years. Mostly self/ego psychology and different kinds of therapeutic techniques.



ddjelassi said:


> In what situations is your anxiety really bad?


I'm always anxious. I don't remember what it's like not to be anxious. I have trouble getting to sleep, and when I do sleep I have nightmares. But my SA gets worse the more people there are around and the less well I know them. A music concert or an amusement park is nightmare for me.

The better I know a person, and the more intimate the conversation is, the less anxiety I feel. The less I know someone, and the more superficial a conversation is, the more anxiety I feel. I basically consider human beings dangerous animals. My fear recedes to the extent that I discover I can reason with a person.



ddjelassi said:


> Do the people around you know of your disorder? If not, why?


I don't know many people anymore, but most of the people I do know know that I'm anxious. I come from a large family and almost every one of us has an official diagnosis with one or more psychological disorders. Schizophrenia, GAD, SAD, PTSD, APD, depression or something else.

I haven't felt much pressure to get an official diagnosis because I grew up surrounded by people with disorders. Their symptoms are familiar to me and easy to spot in myself. Everyone in my family understands that I have the same sort of issues they have. An official diagnosis might have been required to get people in my family to take my issues seriously if that weren't the case. Fortunately (or unfortunately), it hasn't been.



ddjelassi said:


> Have you ever felt like your disorder isn't recognized by others?


I don't think most people who don't have SAD take it very seriously. I've never gotten special treatment, even in my own family where people do understand it. My dad kicked me out when I was 18 because he didn't want me turning into a recluse like my older brothers. (He believes in exposure therapy.) I've been independent ever since out of necessity.

I'm not sure what "recognizing" the disorder would accomplish since I don't see how it would affect me. I'll still have the same obligations I've always had.



ddjelassi said:


> What prejudices do others have?


I think most people construe my avoidance as haughtiness, laziness, or touchiness. People generally avoid me and have always considered me weird.



ddjelassi said:


> How do you cope with those prejudices?


I'm generally indifferent to the opinions of others unless I think they pose a threat to my well-being. I'm much more concerned about my appearance than what people think about my behavior.



ddjelassi said:


> What do you wish from others?


Nothing. I've never had a wish come true.


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## megatheriidae (Jul 10, 2014)

*How old are you?*

19.*
*
*Since when do you have SAD?*

I was a really shy child growing up and probably had selective mutism, but I developed more severe social anxiety around age 13-14.

*Do you have any secondary disorders?*

Probably but undiagnosed. I strongly suspect Avoidant PD, and some schizoid traits.

*Have you ever been to therapy before? If not, why? If yes, what kind of therapy?*

Yes. It wasn't CBT, just regular old sit down and talk basically... I talked about my social anxiety with my therapist but overall I couldn't talk about my more serious problems and we never got anywhere and I quit. 

* In what situations is your anxiety really bad?*

Anything where I'm doing something I haven't done before or have to go some place I've never been. Performance situations. Oh, and I used to get misgendered a lot when I started having my hair cut short (when I was about 9) and the fact itself didn't bother me but it really really embarrassed me when I knew other people were around to witness it, like when I would go out to eat at a restaurant with my family and they would hear it and I knew that they would perceive it as wrong and expect me to act/be embarrassed accordingly. But if I was alone and someone addressed me that way I'd just let it pass. Basically when I'm put in the spotlight in some way and the people around me expect me to act or feel a certain way&#8230; and I know I will get judged for not acting a certain way. 

Also just in general being around people in close, more intimate or smaller spaces (when I'm in my room with my roommates, I get anxious when I have to do anything that will get their attention - getting up, getting something from my closet or desk, etc.)

This sums it up for me pretty well too:


Persephone The Dread said:


> Anything that involves intimacy is hard. I find people being very nice/friendly uncomfortable and as one example if I was staying in a hotel it would be easier to stay in some minimalistic chain hotel then a small bnb type place where people are very bubbly. Using the same shop repeatedly is difficult. Going somewhere reapeatedly so you get to know people. Using people's names in conversation. Talking about how I feel. Expressing I care about people etc.


*Do the people around you know of your disorder? If not, why?*

My parents know I have social anxiety but I've never been officially diagnosed with anything. They definitely don't know about my other stuff. I don't tell anyone anything that involves my feelings or vulnerabilities, mostly.

*Have you ever felt like your disorder isn't recognized by others? *

All the time basically, but I've spent my life feeling pretty much invisible and at least part of me is content with this. People at school often talked about having social anxiety but not the disorder. Most don't seem to get how debilitating it can be. And my therapist sort of brushed it off in a way. I agree that a lot of mental health professionals don't take it that seriously.

*What prejudices do others have?*

These things:


Persephone The Dread said:


> You end up often with a very bipolar (yet rigid,) identity to other people where some treat you as an innocent, naive child (apologise for swearing - even though I swear all the time, people make weird assumptions like that when you're anxious) they overreact if you speak (which makes things even more uncomfortable,). If you're with other people sometimes they will expect them to talk for you or they'll talk to them instead of you. And then the other side...:
> Essentially you are framed as a serial killer, Satan worshipper, druggy etc.


The way I look definitely contributes to the innocent, cute, naive child thing. And it's not something I can really change (height, facial structure). I got the second part too sometimes but not nearly as often because of my appearance.

*How do you cope with those prejudices?*

Hide forever and avoid everything and everyone. 

*What do you wish from others?*

Mostly I wish they'd leave me alone. I'm tired of trying to fit in with people. Sometimes I wish I could find a certain type of person, I had a friend that was really cool and I miss her kind of a lot and I wish I could find someone like her again. It's not likely though.


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## JohnDoe26 (Jun 6, 2012)

*How old are you?*

Early 30s.

*Since when do you have SAD? *

I was always shy and introverted, but I think it started to become full blown and severe during my high school years.

*Do you have any secondary disorders?*

I've only been diagnosed for social anxiety disorder but I'm probably depressed and also I suspect I have Avoidant Personality Disorder.

*Have you ever been to therapy before? If not, why? If yes, what kind of therapy?*

I've had CBT and exposure therapy.

*In what situations is your anxiety really bad?*

Literally anytime I'm around people especially if I have to face them in silence. Whether in the waiting room, sitting in a circle, waiting in line, I absolutely cannot do it.

*Do the people around you know of your disorder? If not, why?*

They know but they don't really understand it. At most they're sympathetic or it's just this thing that they don't really talk about (neither do I want to, to be quite honest)

*Have you ever felt like your disorder isn't recognized by others?*

I remember reading somewhere that it's the least understood of the anxiety disorders even among mental health professionals, so yes.

*What prejudices do others have?*

In my experience they initially don't understand it. They offer very cliche advice, or are dismissive. If I explain to people more in-depth what my anxiety consists in and how severe it is, I find that they're remarkably understanding and accommodating. In a way I wish more people would open up and speak about it, because that's how these things get recognized in the mainstream and acknowledged.

*How do you cope with those prejudices?*

Perspective. That at the end of the day, we all have our prejudices and misunderstandings of things. That all I can do is be thankful for what I have and try day to day to improve and try to be helpful and show love for others in my own little way.

*What do you wish from others?*

Personally, nothing much. Just treat me with kindness and I'm good. Overall society wise, I wish there was more research and support regarding treatment. In my experience even mental health professionals are ignorant when it comes to this disorder.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

*How old are you?*
Frozen in time at age 39. Don't tell me it's not possible. I'm God and I do what I want!

*Since when do you have SAD? *
I was terrified of going to first day of class in 1st grade. My mother even beat me with a coat hanger and I still wouldn't go.

*Do you have any secondary disorders?*
Mental health morons said I could have GAD, SAD AvPD, schizophrenia and/or delusional disorder. It's all bunk. 
*
Have you ever been to therapy before? If not, why? If yes, what kind of therapy?*
Shrinks locked me up in a psych hospital for punching a child molester. The therapy they tried to give me was anti-psychotic drugs, but I wouldn't take them.

*In what situations is your anxiety really bad?*
Job interviews. Dates- those are just another kind of job interview. Hookers work out much better - I interview THEM.
*
Do the people around you know of your disorder? If not, why?*
WTF would I want other people to know what's going on in my head? If you give people something to use against you then you are asking to get [email protected]#$#ed.

*Have you ever felt like your disorder isn't recognized by others?*
Yes. Good. But I had to use it once to threaten a former employer with an ADA lawsuit to get them to take an unfair suspension off my record.

*What prejudices do others have?*
Loners are all potential mass killers.

*How do you cope with those prejudices?*
I am a scientist. Many scientists are introverts.

*What do you wish from others?*
I'd like to get your phone number. Scarpia likes the young stuff!!


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## ddjelassi (Oct 9, 2018)

Thank you for all of your replies! I didn‘t expect so many in such a short amount of time.
It‘s really interesting to see all the different point of views. They‘re all really helpful!


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Hope I'm not too late to reply. And sorry this is so long. :/

*How old are you?*

42.

*Since when do you have SAD? *

I've always been shy and sensitive but my social anxiety disorder started forming around age 12-13, when I entered junior high and my best friend moved away and everyone around me started "growing up."

*Do you have any secondary disorders?*

Diagnosed (in addition to social anxiety disorder): Major depressive disorder, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (inattentive type), obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Also suggested in therapy or in therapists' notes: Schizotypal personality disorder, avoidant personality disorder, obsessive-compulsive personality disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, Asperger's syndrome/autism. (My psychiatrist as an adult also said I "act just like someone with PTSD" and requested I ask family members about possible childhood trauma (none of which I'm aware).)

Personally I believe I only suffer from social anxiety disorder and/or avoidant personality disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, a few specific phobias, and Asperger's syndrome/autism.

*Have you ever been to therapy before? If not, why? If yes, what kind of therapy?*

Twice, as a teen and as an adult when applying for SSI. I don't know what kind of therapy you'd call it, it was mostly talking and meds. The therapy as a teen focused mainly on my OCD and ADD since I wasn't diagnosed with social anxiety disorder yet. The therapy as an adult seemed to consist of mostly, "Go out and talk to people." So, exposure therapy, I guess...? :stu

Treatment for my OCD as a teen helped somewhat, but SSRIs have too many side effects for me to keep taking them and I've regressed seriously since then. Treatment for my anxiety/depression failed completely and I only grew worse. It was terminated in 2012 when they ran out of funding to continue treating me and needed to make room for new clients. I was never diagnosed or treated for the autism I now strongly suspect I have and which I blame for most of my issues, including the anxiety; I tried to ask a psychiatrist who visited me in the hospital after surgery (because I have to mention anxiety/depression/suicidal thoughts on my medical forms) to refer me for assessment, but even though she agreed I show signs of autism, she shook her head and said, _"No, no, no."_ I guess they don't diagnose women as old as I am, even though I've always been like this.

I'm too ashamed/discouraged to seek any more help even if any were available.

*In what situations is your anxiety really bad?*

Pretty much *anything* that involves interacting with other people, even if it's just e-mails from tech support or somebody I know well. I have an online friend (my only friend, really) I didn't write to for over a year. :sigh

*Do the people around you know of your disorder? If not, why?*

I don't have anybody around me anymore except my parents, and doctors I see for physical disorders...my parents know about it since I've always lived with and depended on them, but sometimes they don't take it very seriously. I don't think my doctors know because I never have any reason to bring it up with them, except on medical forms, and nobody pays much attention to those. (See above.)

*Have you ever felt like your disorder isn't recognized by others?*

Frequently. I've gotten doubt even from the people I live with/am closest to, and from other people with social anxiety disorder. (See purple part of my signature, below.)

*What prejudices do others have?*

Most frequently I'm accused of being a snob or thinking I'm better than others because I'm too afraid to reply to/interact with them. My own dad gets angry when I mumble or feel too upset to reply to him, and my mother called my lack of eye contact "ignorant." -_- Less often, but often enough to somewhat bother me, I suspect people think I'm slow, probably because of how I always trail behind my mother, lack basic life skills, don't do much on my own, and refuse to make eye contact or chat/socialize freely. They kind of look at me strangely and talk to me like I'm a child. (I don't mind that too much, because I actually _am_ pretty childish and ignorant of a lot of things, but still, I think people assume I'm pretty stupid in general until I start talking.)

Those who do believe or know I have this disorder often tell me I should just get over it.

*How do you cope with those prejudices?*

I don't know how to cope with them. :/ I've tried explaining myself numerous times but it makes no difference.

* What do you wish from others?*

*deepbreath* Firstly, I wish I could at least get the help I feel I need, without somebody telling me that because I'm not quickly getting better, it must be my fault for not trying/expecting too much. (I got that from my last psychologist. It couldn't have been that the "treatment" itself was faulty.) I want there to be better awareness of social anxiety (look at all the ads about depression--anxiety disorders in general are about as common, why are there no ads about that??), as well as better training of therapists to deal with it, and better methods of treatment than "Go out and talk to people." (One successful round of smalltalk with a stranger I'll never see again does not undo years of insults, rejection, and ignoring from people I was trying to befriend.) There need to be better meds than side-effect-riddled SSRIs, or one med you have to take in combo with another med. (Why can't they just make ONE med that works?) There needs to be more widely available treatment for and recognition of comorbid disorders that can contribute to developing SA, in my case, autism assessment in girls or older women, instead of writing us off as being "just shy" and saying we'll "grow out of it." (There needs to be better notice paid to warning signs in children, _period_--I think of all the missed chances I had for somebody to realize something was seriously wrong with me, and it makes me so angry.) Also, better ways to include anxious people in activities, without making us feel ostracized/ignored OR forcing us to socialize too much too soon, would help a lot. (I've experienced this so I know it can be done.) Maybe more job opportunities for anxious people, like assembling/sorting or typing things at home. (I think that already exists, but it's sure not widespread/easily accessible, and non-anxious people probably snatch those jobs up first.)

But mostly, understanding that somebody being quiet and keeping to themselves does NOT necessarily = uninterested snob...and _patience, patience, patience_ when dealing with or treating us. And not such a focus on victim blaming ("If you're not getting better, it means you're not trying!"). For some of us, it took *decades* of mostly negative experiences for us to get this bad, so we definitely aren't going to be fixed in a few months or even years of mixed positive/neutral/negative experiences. (Most of my therapy exposure experiences turned out negative, so that REALLY didn't help. Yet when I took all the steps and the _other_ party dropped the ball, I still got blamed for failing and/or for feeling disappointed.)

...I'm being unrealistic, though. I know all of the above, especially that last paragraph, is far too much to ask. :sigh


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## Chris S W (Mar 5, 2017)

*How old are you?*
29

*Since when do you have SAD? *
It's difficult to pinpoint exactly when my shyness developed in to social anxiety and social anxiety disorder. I think when I was 11 it was becoming serious because I would rarely talk to people or ask for help or anything. I know I was afraid to say anything and attend most social events but I can't remember actually feeling anxious until I was about 16 or something. But I'm not sure, can't remember, it was around those years.

*Do you have any secondary disorders?*
I've never been diagnosed, but I believe I have avoidant personality disorder. I seem to match the symptoms exactly. And probably something else at least but it's messy for me.

*Have you ever been to therapy before? If not, why? If yes, what kind of therapy?*
I have not. Apart from some kind of school therapist (or whatever they were called) I was pretty much made to see. I don't think they could help me, and I think they most likely wouldn't really care to help me. And I'm too anxious about going through all of that. And I would have trouble being honest with them anyway. I lied to the school therapist the whole way through and never went to see them again. I don't feel comfortable telling a complete stranger about my life and stuff, especially one to one, face to face.

*In what situations is your anxiety really bad?*
Around people. And the anticipation of being around people. Waiting rooms are quite bad because I'm both around people and waiting to interact with other people. Also just interacting with people in other ways like over the phone and online. Social gatherings when I arrive and everyone's attention is suddenly on me and of course the anticipation of such situations. Pretty much just anything to do with people.

Even receiving an email, knowing that they have sent it many hours ago, I still can feel very anxious about it even though it doesn't make any sense to because nothing can change what has happened. And I always know this but it doesn't really matter that I know this, because it's so irrational. Having to talk in front of quite a few people is also very anxiety inducing because there is plenty of opportunity for me to make a fool of myself, with not only what I say but how I say it.

*Do the people around you know of your disorder? If not, why?*
No. My parents kind of know I get anxious but they don't know of the disorder and so does my older brother and probably my younger brother. I don't think they would really understand and I don't really care to tell them. My older brother kept pushing me for information, and when I finally gave him something (I said I get anxious, or something along those lines) he didn't really understand and seemed to use that as an opportunity to boost his own ego and call me a *****. He did try and help in his own way but he obviously didn't know what he was dealing with and had no chance of helping me anyway. I'm not sure there is much point in telling people who can't even begin to understand.

*Have you ever felt like your disorder isn't recognized by others?*
Yes, to the disorder in general. People don't even know it exists, it seems. I didn't know it existed until I almost stumbled across it when was about 18 and finally knew what was wrong with me.

*What prejudices do others have?*
I don't know about the disorder, because I don't know that anyone knows about it. But people who don't know or understand very often seem to make incorrect assumptions about my behaviour.

*How do you cope with those prejudices?*
I understand that they can help their actions about as much as I can help my own. And I know that they aren't going to be able to know my problems.

*What do you wish from others?*
I could wish a lot of things but I don't think any would be realistic. Maybe understanding that not everything is how they assume or believe it is and that people can't really help how they are, so negative emotions towards others doesn't make sense. This should cover every living creature not just those with mental illness.


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## SwtSurrender (Nov 24, 2014)

Ha what? Stigma is self-imposed by your irrational thinking. Like thinking the world is out to get you or other people won't let you fit in. Ha bull****. I/you do it to myself/yourself. Sure some people are negative about everything and everyone but they're not the ones out to get you or won't let you fit in or are in your way of happiness. You and I are in our own ****ing way. Sure, it's easier to blame everything on an outside force.


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## Joz (Oct 7, 2018)

ddjelassi said:


> How old are you?
> 30
> 
> Since when do you have SAD?
> ...


I think I wish that people were more kind in general. We seem like a destructive species still trying to outcompete one another "survival of the fittest", whereas we are supposed to be intelligent so why can't we live together in a more harmonious and balanced way.


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## nosystemd (Dec 14, 2018)

Joz said:


> I think I wish that people were more kind in general. We seem like a destructive species still trying to outcompete one another "survival of the fittest", whereas we are supposed to be intelligent so why can't we live together in a more harmonious and balanced way.


this is something i think about all the time. id like a more cooperative society. competition is painful but healthier than people think. TOO MUCH competition-- being overcompetitive as a society is a waste of potential, its like starving because you throw out every bit of food that is more than 10 minutes old. overcompetitiveness is just nitpicking people who have much to offer and denying the benefits of their participation. its tragic, because most of that potential is squandered by others.

but, most of the ideas people come up with to compensate for that are also terrible ideas. in fact, most ideas about anything are terrible ideas. about 90% of ideas are just c***.

so people get too attached to ideas when they could be amended, thrown out for better ones, and unlock a great deal more of the potential for good in our species.

and as far as i can tell, the answer to that is-- keep trolling the good in people to try to taunt their best nature out of its shell and come after you. then run like heck and let them do their good to the world around them. sure, it might take you a while to figure out how the heck to do that. but just try. and imagine if everyone did. and then do it whenever you can. if you cant figure out how, dont worry-- just keep trying to. you might not know when youve accomplished it. but at least youve got an idea that has the power to make life better for humanity.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Oh everything is stigmatized if it happens to be inconvenient for the masses. Doesn't matter whether it's officially recognized as a disorder or not (although if your existence is inconvenient for others in any way shape or form, there's probably an official "disorder" that puts you right in a "Something's wrong with you!" slot).

The way I look at it, it boils down to peer pressure. It's just people doing what people do. They try to change you and if you don't respond to gentle persuasion, they take out the sledgehammer and the ole shoehorn. Pretty pathetic overall.


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## Ghossts (Mar 6, 2014)

How old are you?
26

Since when do you have SAD? 
I developed it when I was 12. Beat it last year when I was 25. 

Do you have any secondary disorders?
Depression. 

Have you ever been to therapy before? If not, why? If yes, what kind of therapy?
Yes, I still go. We talk about what's been happening in my life and she helps me explain a lot. We also tried mindfulness. 

In what situations is your anxiety really bad?
Well it used to be really bad when I would think of situations, or when I was around 1, 2 or hundreds of people. It made no difference. 

Do the people around you know of your disorder? If not, why?
Yes they did. 

Have you ever felt like your disorder isn‘t recognized by others?
Ummm yes. But recently it seems like it has peaked in awareness. 

What prejudices do others have?
Not understanding that I am quiet for a reason. Or I was feeling down but not many people picked up on it. Maybe my fault, idk.

How do you cope with those prejudices?
Well I used to get angry at myself a lot. I wasn't the person people wanted me to be. They would ignore me or not wonder if I was okay but it seemed like they did with other people. So I just hated myself. 

What do you wish from others?
To be kind and understanding. But I want everyone to be themselves.


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## railcar82594 (Mar 1, 2016)

*How old are you?*

*Since when do you have SAD?*
I first remember being scared of others at preschool. I remember trying to play with them and also during kindergarten but I was always ostracized. I gave up by 4th grade. The usually taunting and occasional bullying or insults seemed endless. I tried to avoid fights, but couldn't get out of a few where my elbow skin was scrapped open with a big scar to this day.

*Do you have any secondary disorders?*
Psych testing had diagnosed me paranoid schizo. Maybe some sight dyslexia and autism. Stunting of growth of social skills. Bad apneia during sleep.

*Have you ever been to therapy before? If not, why? If yes, what kind of therapy?*
In my early 20's. I guess it was regular talk therapy. I realized now most of the quack industry is just an employment excuse on shoddy science and most all of them know squat or really care about SA. The main contribution to society of shrinks is really recognizing and locking up the violent and criminally insane. The rest is unproven quackery and selling of psychotropics pushed by big pharma.

*In what situations is your anxiety really bad?*
Most group types of two people or more, and completely fail at group "interpersonal" interaction. Parties. "Mob" and noisy group activities. Involuntary center of attention situations.

*Do the people around you know of your disorder? If not, why?*
Most of my relatives. It's caused severe damage where the relatives of my age don't respect me at all anymore. Very few truly understand. As for everyone else, see Scarpia's answer above which I mostly agree with. 
*
Have you ever felt like your disorder isn't recognized by others?*
Much of the time. But some do recognize it and already judge SA as a loser and coward's excuse anyways.

*What prejudices do others have?*
Loners are losers. And more highly suspect to be criminals or potential murder or "going postal" suspects. Sometimes bullies or ***holes provoke in various ways in order to justify their disdainful judgement.

How do you cope with those prejudices?
Mostly ignore it if I have to or walk away if I've a choice.

*What do you wish from others?*
Mostly to be left alone. I don't care all that much now. Life is going by quicker now. It'll all be over sooner from the personal perspective. Like the waitress said in "Terminator", who's going to care in a hundred years.


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## That Random Guy (Jan 31, 2015)

*Responses:*

Very late with this and sorry if I'm of no help at this point, but here goes nothing:

How old are you?
I'm currently 24, going in 25. Yikes. :afr

Since when do you have SAD?
I'd like to think I've had SAD since I was in the third grade, but I only just recently discovered SAD was even a thing.

Do you have any secondary disorders?
I currently also suffer from OCD. My particular tick is being a super-charged neat-freak/germ-nut.

Have you ever been to therapy before? If not, why? If yes, what kind of therapy?
I have not been to therapy because 1) I have not admitted to having these problems with my folks and 2) my folks aren't likely to believe in my problems nor waste money on having someone fix what they technically caused.

In what situations is your anxiety really bad?
My anxiety gets bad whenever I'm put under duress that involves unfamiliar social-interactions and or lots of people. I don't like being the center of attention, so presentations, interviews, and all things like that are pretty much the death of me. I prefer one-to-one situations where I'm not being constantly critiqued (even though we all do judge at first glance).

Do the people around you know of your disorder? If not, why?
I have made an extraneous effort to make sure no one I know finds out that I'm suffering from SA much less giving away my identity online. Considering the very poor awareness SA has in the media, my folks aren't necessarily going online to find things like this forum as I have. The reason I haven't shared this with my family is because I think I know how they'd react (unsupportive). Let's just say that I've been with them long enough to know what they think of certain things.

Have you ever felt like your disorder isn't recognized by others?
Considering the media doesn't really recognize it as much, I would say yes. I think it's important however, to mention that I rarely converse with people and because of the limited exposure, I don't really ever even get the chance to bring up anything significantly personal like that. Furthermore, I'd rather say I'm introverted than someone with SA just 'cause I'm afraid of the prejudice I'd get from admitting I have a mental disorder....

What prejudices do others have?
I think the prejudice people without SA have for people with mental disorders is that they're awkward, unstable, etc. Basically, we're like a different species who aren't relatable-or if in the states, are prone to pulling outrageous stunts like mass murders and stuff like that. It is not a positive image that is given to us and instead, we are seemingly constantly thrown into a shadow of society. As I say this, I feel that SA and other disorders have received more recognition and awareness online as of late thanks to select mediums as well as the fact that more and more people are coming to inhibit traits found in those with SA (at least from what I've seen in the last decade).

How do you cope with those prejudices?
Put simply, I don't. I consider myself an average Joe but I can't help but feel like I shouldn't disclose such a thing to anyone. At most, I'm willing to admit to being introverted ('cause I am), but that's as far as I'll go. There's a stigma that goes along with that too, but I feel like it isn't as bad as it is with having SA or any other disorder. It isn't so much having SA but what having SA causes that really puts a downward spiral in any effort gone into improving one's self. In my case, I can sometimes lack fundamental understanding of societal norms, popular concepts, etc. This affects not only my confidence but my ability to do the "easiest" thing that is small talk. Honestly, I don't know how I'm going to find a partner when I can't even woo a recruiter to hire me.

What do you wish from others? 
All I wish is that folk treat others with respect and for them to keep an open mind to people they meet (suffering or not). Furthering that, they should only take to face value what they see on the news and other outlets. We are a bit more "broken" than others, but that doesn't mean we are any less human. We have an extended fear that prohibits us from committing to things others probably share interest in. Everyone has fears, and as such, we share the same qualities as everyone else. The thing that makes us unique is how we are affected by those fears. To be clear, I don't consider myself "special" just 'cause I have SA nor do I see fit to put barriers between me and other types of people in society (aside from the obvious bad crowd). I think folk with SA are typically going to offer a lot more empathy than the next person but that doesn't mean everyone with SA is going to share the best qualities nor fit into one groups full of clones. Again, at the end of the day, we're human. We're just a little rough around the edges. Everyone's had an experience that they could relate to in regards to SA or anxiety in general, so I think the things society should try to do is to lessen these barriers people seem to create with each other. People who like sports should be able to like people who are into others things and vice versa. Along that line of thinking, people with SA are just regular people with special worries and tendencies. We should make an effort to get along despite the stigmas and prejudices that already exist.

Thus concludes my two-cent feedback.

Thank-You.


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## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

Sure, there's a stigma against being a f'ckin freak outcast loser. And that's not going to f'in change. Nobody wants to be around that.


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## Catlover2525 (Nov 11, 2013)

How old are you? 
20

Since when do you have SAD? 
11

Do you have any secondary disorders? 
Depression.

Have you ever been to therapy before? If not, why? If yes, what kind of therapy?
Yes since 1st year of college. There was no way to get help before that as my parents did not want to believe I had a problem. It is CBT and exposure.

In what situations is your anxiety really bad?
Meeting new people, small talk, discussion-based college classes, presentations or speeches, group conversations (I struggle with one-on-one and as soon as you start adding more people in I fall apart socially haha), unstructured events where you are expected to mingle like large get-togethers, asking people to my my partner for projects, dating, making friends, being assertive, handling conflict etc.

Do the people around you know of your disorder? If not, why?
I told my roommate and my parents. They think it is medicalized shyness and not a problem. I will not be telling anyone else.

Have you ever felt like your disorder isn‘t recognized by others?
Social anxiety isn’t really widely known about even though it is pretty common. Like 7% of the population or something crazy like that suffers from it in a given year. So yes I wish more people knew it existed.

What prejudices do others have?
I don’t think we experience prejudice so much as just a lack of understanding. People tend to think I am being rush, standoffish, stuckup, when really I am just absolutely terrified.

How do you cope with those prejudices?
Not sure I really do.

What do you wish from others?
I just wish there was more awareness and understanding, and I wish people would not be so fast to jump to conclusions about why a person is acting the way that they are.


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## Mlt18 (Jun 29, 2016)

How old are you? 
27
Since when do you have SAD? 
Entire life
Do you have any secondary disorders?
BDD, OCD, Depression
Have you ever been to therapy before? If not, why? If yes, what kind of therapy?
No, when I was younger it was discouraged by family and I'm scared to admit to the world I have mental problems
In what situations is your anxiety really bad?
Being around people, so work, school, store, talking on phone, talking in general, anything social
Do the people around you know of your disorder? If not, why?
I don't think so...I don't talk about it
Have you ever felt like your disorder isn‘t recognized by others?
Yes
What prejudices do others have?
They think I'm retarded and inferior probably...I get rejected a lot and no one wants to be around me 
How do you cope with those prejudices?
I hide and spend time alone, also animals help me cope 
What do you wish from others?
Idk, I don't think most people are capable of understanding what I'm about...so nothing


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## suzaniam (Sep 21, 2013)

How old are you?
57
Since when have you had SA?
I remember doing things by myself when I was young, but school started being terrifying in 3rd grade, I think.
Do you have any secondary disorders?
Depression, mostly situational. 
Have you been to therapy?
Not until my 30s, after a significant breakdown. I go every week now, but I'm coming to the realization that my therapist doesn't understand SA. She hasn't been able to hear my whole story yet, and is amazed I'm functioning at all.
In what situations is your anxiety really bad?
Being around people. Most people. Sometimes even my kids. Shopping, eating, school,(even online).
Do the people around you know of your disorder?
Yes. But that doesn't mean they understand. Except my daughter. She has it, also, but it hasn't disabled her... and I hope it never does.
What prejudices do others have?
I don't think it's prejudice, exactly, I think they can't imagine the feeling of sheer terror at the thought of talking to another person that I don't know already. Sooo, lack of empathy?
How do you cope with these prejudices? 
Like everyone else, I don't. Oh! Another coexisting disorder? Avoidant Personality. If something stresses me out, I just avoid it. I don't go anywhere, I don't do anything fun. It's enough just getting through what I have to do. I don't need more.
What do you wish from others?
That they wouldn't assume that because I can't work outside the home, I should be able to take care of whatever they don't want to. I will be raising a grandchild until I am 67, because my stepdaughter has addiction issues, and the father wants to start his "bucket list". My husband died almost 2 years ago,after a lengthy illness, and I am probably never going to be able to do anything I planned until I am too old. Whoo hoo.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SASsier1 (Jun 19, 2019)

I'm sure you're done with your paper, and I hope you found the earlier replies helpful. Anyway, I'm just posting this for all of posterity:

*How old are you?* 
30 something - like a surprisingly large number of people on this forum (most sites have younger people).

*Since when do you have SAD? * 
Since brutal bullying in 3rd-4th grades

*Do you have any secondary disorders?*
Yes, of course. Suicide ideation, generalized anxiety, major depression, OCD-like traits, CPTSD (Complex PTSD), etc.

*Have you ever been to therapy before? If not, why? If yes, what kind of therapy?*
Yes, since childhood. All sorts of therapy - talk, CBT/ACT/DBT, group therapy, drama/art therapy, all sorts of therapists/clinics. Lots of bad experiences, too. No therapist can handle more complicated, extreme cases like mine.

*In what situations is your anxiety really bad?*
It's less anxiety for me and more about people's stigmas, stereotypes, and seeing/treating me as *intrinsically inferior*. Of course, the more people look down on me and mistreat me, the more anxious and disgusting I come across.

*Do the people around you know of your disorder? If not, why?*
No one knows about SAD. Mainly I'm just seen, wrongly, as *lowly, poor, uneducated, crude, robotic, ugly, and worthy of abuse*.

*Have you ever felt like your disorder isn't recognized by others?*
Yes, of course. See above answer.

*What prejudices do others have?*
It's my shy, awkward demeanor combined with my hated ethnicity and unattractive face. They're *subconsciously biased* and jump to conclusions based on this vague entity that they're seeing.

*How do you cope with those prejudices?*
I'm forced to stay home, not socialize, and basically live like a bump on log.

*What do you wish from others?*
No matter what I do, or how much I pray, or do Law of Attraction stuff, or pretend I'm a Goddess - none of my "wishes" are ever fulfilled. It's always *"you're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't"* for me.


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## LightUpTheAzureSky (Mar 6, 2018)

How old are you?
*I am 26 years of age. *

Since when do you have SAD?
*since the ripe age of ten. *

Do you have any secondary disorders?
* Yes I do. agoraphobia, insomnia and depression.*

Have you ever been to therapy before? If not, why? If yes, what kind of therapy?
*I have been to therapy but it was in my younger years.*

In what situations is your anxiety really bad?
* In every social situation, hell, typing on forums is a challenge.*

Do the people around you know of your disorder? If not, why?
*Yes they do. (for the most part) *

Have you ever felt like your disorder isn't recognized by others? 
* If you mean in the downplaying/minimizing sense, then yes. *

What prejudices do others have?
*They veiw people with social problems as 'weak' or 'ridiculous'*

How do you cope with those prejudices?
*Honestly? I hide. lmao*

What do you wish from others?
*Just for understanding, not many people have that nowadays. *


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