# I feel uncomfortable in church



## diddy2thejj

My wife loves going to church, and I don't like church. It hasn't been a problem at all, but now that we are thinking about how to raise children when that time comes, there's starting to be a little bit of an issue.

I was raised Christian and went to sunday school etc, but now that I'm grown up and can think for myself, I don't really believe in in most of that stuff anymore. It is just so far fetched and feels like it may have been based on something that happened. I went to church with her on Christmas because I know it means alot to her, but it just doesn't feel right to me anymore and it makes me really uncomfortable to be in church.

I definitely believe in a higher power, but it's more along the lines of the Universe and source energy combined with the law of attraction. So i guess you could say it's a more scientific type of approach to it all. 

I'm not really sure how to go about this...because I love my wife very much and want to find some middle ground but it's so important to her that our kids are raised in church.


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## Royals

You can stay at home, pray, study, sing and have your own little private church  Tell her this verse:

"But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you".

(Matthew 6:6)


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## Thedjinn

You can also do 'church' online or through tv. That's what I do. I know you don't get the close fellowship, but it's still there, at least spiritually.


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## shnbwmn

Pray to God about this and read His Word, always asking for the guidance of the Holy Spirit - He will show you what to do.


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## mindset

Well you can always let your kids go to church... 

In the future they will learn to think for themselves just like you did. And they can simply change. 

Until then, your wife gets what she wants and I don't think learning about God and morals will be bad for kids 

Like Thedjinn suggested, you can learn online too.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.


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## millenniumman75

We still need to be around people, though. Christian peope.
They are supposed to be less likely to judge than the average person.


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## DeeperUnderstanding

I always felt uncomfortable in church, too. It's a SA thing.


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## Becca333

You don't have to go to church to be 'One with God'.


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## TheFather

The only reason I go to church is to get out of the house on Sunday.


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## 0589471

Church makes me uncomfortable too. I feel like there's too many politics brought into it, and a lot of one person's opinions being taught, rather than simply preaching the word and worship. Plus with SA, it's kind of overwhelming, all the people, especially when some of them do those "Greet your neighbour" intervals, ugh. Where I live it feels like a lot of uppity people go to the church, and aren't very warm. I don't know, I just get highly sensitive and want to leave lol My mom really likes it, but it's just not for me.


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## shnbwmn

Becca333 said:


> You don't have to go to church to be 'One with God'.


While this is true (it's an individual relationship of the believer with Jesus), the NT also makes it clear that Christian fellowship is essential. How are we supposed to love one another if we're constantly afraid of being around our brothers and sisters in the Lord? Paul was speaking to Timothy about the laying on of hands in the church, and he said:

"God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."
- 2 Tim 1:7

1 John is full of exhortations for us believers to love one another, and he makes this statement:

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
- 1 John 4:18

Of course those of us who have SA will continue to struggle with it, but we should claim victory over it every day. Love isn't just having respect for someone or merely forcing yourself to smile around them, it's the willingness to lay down your life for a friend, and we are all brothers and sisters in Christ. We were baptised into one family.


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## MorningLight

millenniumman75 said:


> We still need to be around people, though. Christian peope.
> They are supposed to be less likely to judge than the average person.


Is that so? Very interesting


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## MorningLight

diddy2thejj said:


> My wife loves going to church, and I don't like church. It hasn't been a problem at all, but now that we are thinking about how to raise children when that time comes, there's starting to be a little bit of an issue.
> 
> I was raised Christian and went to sunday school etc, but now that I'm grown up and can think for myself, I don't really believe in in most of that stuff anymore. It is just so far fetched and feels like it may have been based on something that happened. I went to church with her on Christmas because I know it means alot to her, but it just doesn't feel right to me anymore and it makes me really uncomfortable to be in church.
> 
> I definitely believe in a higher power, but it's more along the lines of the Universe and source energy combined with the law of attraction. So i guess you could say it's a more scientific type of approach to it all.
> 
> I'm not really sure how to go about this...because I love my wife very much and want to find some middle ground but it's so important to her that our kids are raised in church.


I think some Jewish people also felt uncomfortable in the Jewish temples.

I hope you get my meaning


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## millenniumman75

MorningLight said:


> Is that so? Very interesting


We also cannot judge them. That's the trick of the devil right there.

If they are doing something that isn't right, make sure you don't do it yourself. If it's really bad, tell them such. Iron sharpens iron.


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## ericastooge

God does command his believers to go to church, but you don't have to go to church to be saved. Just believe on the Lord Jesus Christ only, That he's the only way to heaven, he died for your sins, went to hell for three days to pay for them and rose up physically from the dead and went to heaven. You believe that, that all it takes is relying on him to get you into heaven, then you'll be there when you die.


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## Seaweedface

Royals said:


> "But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you".
> 
> (Matthew 6:6)


My pastor actually mentioned this very verse at church today, thank you for writing it down . I too, feel uncomfortable in church. Maybe it's the specific people at my church, maybe it's the fact church is a very social and intimate setting, maybe I'm not following the right spiritual path. I dunno. I can really only think about letting people down- specifically my mum- if I didn't go, unfortunately.


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## shnbwmn

Seaweedface said:


> My pastor actually mentioned this very verse at church today, thank you for writing it down . I too, feel uncomfortable in church. Maybe it's the specific people at my church, maybe it's the fact church is a very social and intimate setting, maybe I'm not following the right spiritual path. I dunno. I can really only think about letting people down- specifically my mum- if I didn't go, unfortunately.


I know it's a very personal and perhaps uncalled-for question, but are you saved yet? If you don't know exactly what I mean then feel free to ask, because it's probably the most important question you'll have to answer.


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## Keith

Just turn your anxieties over to God (as you understand Him), like in 12 step programs. It works if you keep at it, just keep turning it over, and letting it go. Just stop trying to control the uncontrollable (in the case of SA other peoples opinions) let go and let God be God. Take it from me I happen to be one of the world's best worriers, and I have experienced periods of peace. 4 years of trying new meds and going to therapy have failed me, God has not. I should have turned to Him first, not last, but alas I am headstrong and stubborn, and learn all my lessons the hard way.


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## probably offline




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## Braiden

Its necessary to go church for your spiritual health. Its very bad to say that I have problem to go church and fed up there. You should try comfort there and feel better there.


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## Albert11

I would much rather have my children learn about a benevolent loving God and the precepts of serving others in love, than leaving them to the influence of a selfish, violent and purposeless worldly life. We are born selfish-learning to be giving and forgiving takes training. Your wife is doing what is right. Biblical truths are timeless-------some modern church rituals are not. It's important to know the difference.


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