# Do you think guys and girls can be "just friends"?



## niacin (May 26, 2012)

Do you think that men and women who are not related can be mutually platonic?


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## little toaster (Jul 5, 2012)

Not for very long, unless they're both dating other people from the beginning of their friendship.


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## Brasilia (Aug 23, 2012)

Just friends?

 http://gifsoup.com/


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## roseblood (Mar 1, 2010)

Of course! What would be the problem?


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Yes they can.


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## SoWrongItsRight (May 9, 2012)

Yea, but one usually falls for the other and makes it weird


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Yes.
I actually get along better with girls than I do with other guys.


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## SoWrongItsRight (May 9, 2012)

ThatOneQuietGuy said:


> Yes.
> I actually get along better with girls than I do with other guys.


When I wasn't in a relationship, I basically had just guy friends. It was all great until they started really liking me. It ruins the friendship.


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## little toaster (Jul 5, 2012)

SoWrongItsRight said:


> When I wasn't in a relationship, I basically had just guy friends. It was all great until they started really liking me. It ruins the friendship.


Then it just shows you can't be friends? What do you think?


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## Guldove (Oct 17, 2012)

It depends entirely on the people. 

Some people will develop feelings for most reasonably attractive single people that they spend a lot of time with, not be able to shrug it off, and come to an ultimatum. Some will never develop feelings for them in the first place or be able to shrug it off.

The two groups will argue endlessly over the question of whether or not heterosexual men and heterosexual women can be just friends.


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## LeftyFretz (Feb 12, 2011)

Yup. Had mishaps on both ends but I have female friends who I won't want to sleep with and that aren't single. Bingo.


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## SoWrongItsRight (May 9, 2012)

little toaster said:


> Then it just shows you can't be friends? What do you think?


Sometimes


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## Wren611 (Oct 19, 2012)

Of course they can. I think this only works if you're naturally attracted to the opposite gender... which I'm not :um


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## Wren611 (Oct 19, 2012)

So your answer is most definitely 'yes', because gay men and lesbians can be friends with no sexual interest in each other.


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## jayjaythejetplane (May 13, 2011)

Of course, but this guy can't.


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## Insider (Sep 17, 2012)

Only if one isn't attracted to the other. If one has feelings for the other then no.


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## Imspartacus (Sep 29, 2012)

Yes, I've had female friends who were just friends. I don't see why anyone would want to restrict themselves to only intimate relationships with the opposite sex, you're missing out if you do.


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## CrimsonTrigger (Jun 28, 2011)

Of course they can. It really depends on how the two act as friends to be honest. I had a female friend who always singled me out by giving me hugs, cuddling with me, telling me personal things, telling me I was cute, etc. So naturally I developed feelings for her. 

Then she told me she started going out with someone and that she wasn't interested in me. Then a few months later, she said that I changed things because I told her I liked her.

I never forgave her for that.


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## ShouNagatsuki (Oct 20, 2012)

Well... a male friend kissed me twice while I was sobbing hopelessly after a girl I like said she'd be gone for 2 years. Nothing happened between us afterward. 

There's also another highschool guy I was very close with, who now is working as a host. He often tried to charm me but according to him I was 'a big cold unmoving rock'. We're still friends anyway.


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## niacin (May 26, 2012)

Sorry everybody. To clarify, I meant heterosexual men and women.


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## Guldove (Oct 17, 2012)

CrimsonTrigger said:


> Of course they can. It really depends on how the two act as friends to be honest. I had a female friend who always singled me out by giving me hugs, cuddling with me, telling me personal things, telling me I was cute, etc. So naturally I developed feelings for her.


I think this kind of thing can play into it, too. Looking at the women I know, they're more inclined to be physically affectionate with their platonic female friends and to touch than guys are with other guys, who tend to not do as much touching, let alone cuddling, with other guys.


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## Cletis (Oct 10, 2011)

Yes, as long as there is no sexual attraction between the two of them.

Eventually though, one or both will find a girlfriend/boyfriend and will spend most of their time with him/her and the friendship will suffer or end altogehter. :blank


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Absolutely.


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## StayingMotivated (Sep 5, 2011)

yes didn't you learn that in kindergarden?


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## James_Russell (Aug 26, 2011)

Clingy guys can't be friends with girls. A lot of them on this site.


If you have a reasonable understanding of boundaries it is very easy to be friends with girls, even when you find them attractive. So yes, definitely.


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## Pennywise (Aug 18, 2011)

Yes, as long as there's no sexual attraction.


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## OUT CAST (Oct 22, 2012)

I think you can. But you know damn well somewhere deep in the back of your mind that if you find them to be attractive that you are going to have a little fantasy


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

No for the most part... in order for guys and girls to be just friends they have to be like long distance friends or still in elementary school lol


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## James_Russell (Aug 26, 2011)

Pennywise said:


> Yes, as long as there's no sexual attraction.


lol you're going to severely limit your social circle if you can't bring yourself to be friends with any girl that you find attractive.


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## little toaster (Jul 5, 2012)

a pers0n said:


> lol you're going to severely limit your social circle if you can't bring yourself to be friends with any girl that you find attractive.


People are gonna think a guy is lame if he's just friends with an attractive girl.


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## Strwbrry (Jun 28, 2012)

Of course!
Some of my best friends were/are guys. It's like any other relationship, only thing that does damage is time and distance.


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## Secretaz (Sep 10, 2011)

Yes if they're not attracted to each other.


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## James_Russell (Aug 26, 2011)

little toaster said:


> People are gonna think a guy is lame if he's just friends with an attractive girl.


People think Two and a Half Men is funny and that Mitt Romney would make a good US President.

I don't think I'll be basing any of my future life decisions on what 'people' _might _think :b


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## CWe (Mar 7, 2010)

Nope!

Unless the guy isnt attracted to the girl but usually he wants to f---- sooner or later. just a fact.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

Of course they can be.

The odd hand job in the back of a jeep compass wouldn't hurt either. I mean come on ladies, what are friends for?


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## River In The Mountain (Jun 6, 2011)

Yeah, it's possible. Rare, but possible.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

It has its own special complications, especially if attraction is there, but yeah, it's possible. For me, anyway.

"I'm physically attracted to you" isn't a good enough reason to end a friendship, IMO.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Rare but possible. Almost every guy friend I've had has tried to make it more with only a few exceptions. It sucks when you have to cut a friend off because they can't stay within limits. Like, just be my damn friend.


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

Edit: mer 

It's improbable. I voted 'No' just because of the likelihood that the friendship has much value in the long run.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

It's possible, but someone usually ends up being attracted to the other(from personal experience). I like hanging out with gay guys for this reason(and others).


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## Twelve Keyz (Aug 28, 2011)

yeah but there's gonna be some sexual tension anyway so why not just be **** buddies as well?


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## Marakunda (Jun 7, 2011)

Of course they can.

(And that's all I have on this subject... lol there really isn't anything else to say, it's as simple as that.)


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## LuxAeterna (Aug 13, 2010)

Not if there's mutual attraction, no.


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## Marakunda (Jun 7, 2011)

Twelve Keyz said:


> yeah but there's gonna be some sexual tension anyway so why not just be ***** buddies?*


That term ****in sickens me...

People who classify themselves and someone else as **** buddies, need to get some self respect. AND learn to respect others. It's just a terrible term, it sounds disgusting. Shouldn't exist in the first place, it's a stupid concept.


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## Twelve Keyz (Aug 28, 2011)

Marakunda said:


> That term ****in sickens me...
> 
> People who classify themselves and someone else as **** buddies, need to get some self respect. AND learn to respect others. It's just a terrible term, it sounds disgusting. Shouldn't exist in the first place, it's a stupid concept.


ok friends with benefits then...


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## mario8 (Oct 7, 2012)

I think that overall majority of most platonic relationships are a joke. If there is sexual tension, or the possibility of sexual tension (if one side is attracted to the other), one side will almost always end up wanting to develop a a romantic interest in the other. Many people can of course chop this up towards insecurity, but, if you ask me, id rather settle for being a F-buddy, than having to waste my time trying to get to know someone that will mostly likely vanish as times goes by.

I`m not saying its impossible. Nothing in these things is impossible. But I am saying that for a guy to be able to be just friends with a girl, that guy would have to abandon all hope in wanting her, and to generally lose interest in her physical appearance, and emotional availability. Simply out: he needs to learn not to except too much from her. To think of her as something common, rather than special. And I think that the most logical way this could happen, is that at least one of them should not be single.


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## Earl of Lemongrab (May 15, 2012)

Secretaz said:


> Yes if they're not attracted to each other.


^This
Beta males are always friend zoned, always. Same goes for ugly females, usually.
Also, I'm of the belief that autistics can only ever feel non-superficial attraction towards other autistics.


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## Charmander (Sep 5, 2012)

Yeah. But then I get on with guys a lot better than girls usually.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Sure they can.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

trisquel said:


> ^This
> Beta males are always friend zoned, always. Same goes for ugly females, usually.
> Also, I'm of the belief that autistics can only ever feel non-superficial attraction towards other autistics.


:wtf


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## Earl of Lemongrab (May 15, 2012)

BobtheBest said:


> :wtf


What's difficult to understand? I think what I said makes perfect sense. Autistics can have friends who are NT, but I don't think they are capable of having a meaningful relationship with an NT.


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## gomenne (Oct 3, 2009)

I think it's possible for both, however guys can be friends only with very ugly girls.


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## leave me alone (Apr 1, 2011)

Very difficult, but possible. 

You see a lot of male/female friendships, but I think in a lot of cases one person is holding back.


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## Earl of Lemongrab (May 15, 2012)

gomenne said:


> I think it's possible for both, however guys can be friends only with very ugly girls.


And isn't it equally likely that girls will only want to be friends with ugly beta males?


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## anonymid (Oct 16, 2005)

Sure. Obviously not always, not under all circumstances, but it's possible.

There are degrees of attraction and degrees of compatibility. It's possible for me to find a woman attractive without necessarily wanting to be _in a relationship_ with her (understanding everything that being in a relationship entails). I can find somebody attractive (and even fantasize about them) without necessarily developing a deep, debilitating crush. A friendship between two mature adults can survive _a little bit_ of attraction and tension. Tension of one kind or another exists in friendships and relationships of all kinds.

And it's possible to have enough in common to be friends, without necessarily having such a deep bond that you feel attached to that person and become jealous (and of course susceptibility to jealousy is also a dispositional thing that's going to vary in everybody--the more prone you are to jealousy, the more difficult it is to accept a "mere" friendship, I guess).

So, as with pretty much everything in life, the boring-but-true answer is "it depends."


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## Bbpuff (Sep 1, 2010)

In most cases a girl and a guy can just be friends, without ever having feelings for each other. But I think if they're very close friends or best friends for a long time, one of them will eventually develop feelings for the other. Personally, I've had only a few close male friends. But with the very few I did have, this situation always occurred. Either I fell for them, or they fell for me.. Of course there's always exceptions. And most of the time I never pursued my feelings, so we did remain "just friends."


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

If they are both single and attracted to each other, then there will always be that tension between them.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

anonymid said:


> Sure. Obviously not always, not under all circumstances, but it's possible.
> 
> There are degrees of attraction and degrees of compatibility. It's possible for me to find a woman attractive without necessarily wanting to be _in a relationship_ with her (understanding everything that being in a relationship entails). I can find somebody attractive (and even fantasize about them) without necessarily developing a deep, debilitating crush. A friendship between two mature adults can survive _a little bit_ of attraction and tension. Tension of one kind or another exists in friendships and relationships of all kinds.
> 
> ...


I agree. I think that people who can't be friends with people who they are physically attracted to, need to learn what boundaries are. Maybe it's a maturity thing. I think if more guys learned to put girls in the "friend zone" it might help them grow emotionally.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

_I always tell these girls with all these "friend's", test them_. One pull them off to the side and say " I want to screw your brains out", _I bet every cent in my bank account that 99.9% of these "friends" will show her how friendly they can be._


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## Donnie in the Dark (Mar 15, 2011)

Anyone who said no to this..... massive fail. I can see why you could claim it is harder, but to say "never".... crazy.


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## lysergic (Sep 18, 2012)

Ideally, yes. But in a society motivated primarily by sex it can be difficult to come by a genuine relationship between a male and female excluding intimacy. I for one would love nothing more than to have male companions without any further implications than what friendship entails. Unfortunately, there's often an ulterior motive behind any man trying to "hang out" with me. Meh.
But of course it's possible!


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

I don't see why not. It's never happened for me though.


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## anonymid (Oct 16, 2005)

theseventhkey said:


> _I always tell these girls with all these "friend's", test them_. One pull them off to the side and say " I want to screw your brains out", _I bet every cent in my bank account that 99.9% of these "friends" will show her how friendly they can be._


So what? The issue is not whether you would if you could; it's whether you feel miserable if you can't. The latter doesn't necessarily follow from the former, and it's only the latter that will derail a friendship.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

Ofcourse they can. I've had a bunch of guys who only saw me as a friend...yet there were some that didn't but yes, there were guys that didn't like me more than just a friend. It was obvious and I heard many stories of girls who have a lot of guy friends that weren't interested in dating them.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

Recently on experience it seems like no ughhhh! But in the past I had one guy friend...pretty sure he didn't see me that way.


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## apx24 (Jan 31, 2012)

It's probably different with other people, but being just friends with girls is impossible for me, I don't understand them enough to be friends with them


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Found some studies by evolutionary psychologist David Buss, who has done a lot of studies on gender dynamics in regards to love, mating, conflict and so on.



> These findings suggest that the need for companionship with someone who is kind, intelligent, and trustworthy transcends gender and the specific type of friendship in which one is involved. In the context of these similarities, several unique qualities of opposite-sex friendship stand out.
> 
> ...
> 
> Our findings suggest that opposite-sex friendship is a strategy men use to gain sex, women use to gain protection, and both sexes use to acquire potential romantic partners. Furthermore, sex and romance may be important in determining which opposite-sex friendships end, and why.


Bleske, A.L., & Buss, D.M. (2001). Opposite sex friendship: Sex differences and similarities in initiation, selection, and dissolution. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 27, 1310-1323.

But concluded another study by saying, and has since repeated many times also referring to the film "When Harry Met Sally":



> Can men and women be just friends? The answer appears to depend on the sex of the person you ask.


Bleske, A., & Buss, D.M. (2000). Can men and women just be friends? Personal Relationships, 7, 131-151.


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## ShyFX (Mar 6, 2006)

I think it's possible but rare. This video sums it up.


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## TheTruthIsOutThere (Apr 10, 2012)

Nope. Guys will always see girls as potentially more than friends. That's just the way it is.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

A question to guys: What if you're friends with a girl that you honestly don't find attractive? Guys definitely see some girls as ugly, so what if you're friends with an "ugly" girl? Would that change your answer? (If you believe that men and women can't be just friends).


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## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

TheTruthIsOutThere said:


> Nope. Guys will always see girls as potentially more than friends. That's just the way it is.


Most will any ways.

I voted yes but I only see it happening rarely.


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## TheTruthIsOutThere (Apr 10, 2012)

Monroee said:


> A question to guys: What if you're friends with a girl that you honestly don't find attractive? Guys definitely see some girls as ugly, so what if you're friends with an "ugly" girl? Would that change your answer? (If you believe that men and women can't be just friends).


Yes of course that would change answer.

I think if the girl is relatively in shape and not grossly overweight with a decent face, most guys would potentially envision her as more than a friend.

That's not to say it applies to every man as individual.

Hope anyone doesn't find this offensive.

Personally, I can have girls that are just friends.


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## Earl of Lemongrab (May 15, 2012)

Monroee said:


> A question to guys: What if you're friends with a girl that you honestly don't find attractive? Guys definitely see some girls as ugly, so what if you're friends with an "ugly" girl? Would that change your answer? (If you believe that men and women can't be just friends).


And the other way around, girls will always friend zone any unattractive beta male by default.


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## Earl of Lemongrab (May 15, 2012)

I shouldn't say that though. In general, people will stick to people within their own league. Unattractive beta males are more likely to be accepted by other unattractive beta females, and vice versa. Otherwise though, guys and girls who are out of one another's league will always remain friend zoned.


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