# Awkward encounters...



## HazelnutCreme (Apr 11, 2004)

Has some random person ever tried to have a conversation with you on campus?

I usually spend days on campus without having to talk to anyone. Today I was going to get some coffee from the bookstore and someone who I didn't know stopped me to chat. It was so awkward! He said something to me but I ignored him at first and then he said "Hey! I was talking to you" so I turned around to find out what was happening. What followed was about 3 minutes of pure awkwardness. He was trying to have some kind of conversation with me but I didn't really know what to say. He ended up saying he talked to me because he thought I was cute and asked me for my number. He even asked for my address when I told him that I don't have a phone. :sus 

This kind of event makes me not want to walk around campus anymore. I don't even want to go back to the bookstore again. Before this happened I felt pretty confident that people wouldn't try to talk to me if I looked like I had somewhere to go. 

:get


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## Jenikyula (Nov 7, 2007)

Umm, are you sure that you want to be avoiding all possible human contact in that way? Surely you don't want to go through life without any social contacts. 

When random people talk to you, try to stay chill. Try not to care too much that someone is talking to you. You might even want to focus on something else- like whatever you are carrying, or the scenery. It might seem like a rude thing to do, but the other person probably won't care anyway, and you should make yourself as comfortable as possible. If you do decide to talk, you might want to just say that you feel nervous or inexperienced or whatever; chances are the other person will try to make you feel better, and even talk to you about your feelings.

I hope my advice makes sense- I am in high school myself, and random encounters are unavoidable, and I have had to find ways not to freak out.


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## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

Jenikyula said:


> Umm, are you sure that you want to be avoiding all possible human contact in that way? Surely you don't want to go through life without any social contacts.
> 
> When random people talk to you, try to stay chill. Try not to care too much that someone is talking to you. You might even want to focus on something else- like whatever you are carrying, or the scenery. It might seem like a rude thing to do, but the other person probably won't care anyway, and you should make yourself as comfortable as possible. If you do decide to talk, you might want to just say that you feel nervous or inexperienced or whatever; chances are the other person will try to make you feel better, and even talk to you about your feelings.
> 
> I hope my advice makes sense- I am in high school myself, and random encounters are unavoidable, and I have had to find ways not to freak out.


*Conversationalist Assailant:* "Hey there. Where are you going in such a hurry?"

*Me:* "I would stop and talk to you, but I feel a little inexperienced. Is there any chance you'd like to make me feel better?"

Hmm, let me mull that one over a bit longer... :con


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## Jenikyula (Nov 7, 2007)

roswell said:


> Jenikyula said:
> 
> 
> > Umm, are you sure that you want to be avoiding all possible human contact in that way? Surely you don't want to go through life without any social contacts.
> ...


You're right. Sorry. =(


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## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

Jenikyula said:


> You're right. Sorry. =(


Aah no I didn't mean to put you down! I was just probably trying to sound witty and clever and i guess sometimes I come off like a jerk. At least you wanted to help her with her situation and gave some meaningful input, which is far more than I contributed to this thread.

I'm sorry for being so crass in my last post and making you feel bad. ops :squeeze


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## salty (Mar 21, 2006)

roswell said:


> *Conversationalist Assailant:* "Hey there. Where are you going in such a hurry?"
> 
> *Me:* "I would stop and talk to you, but I feel a little inexperienced. Is there any chance you'd like to make me feel better?"


it's pretty interesting that you refer to a random person that wants to talk to you as an assailant. i guess that's a typical sa mindset, but imo that's what needs to be changed. not every person that stops what they're doing to talk to someone else is performing a hostile attack on them.

yeah, personally i would never tell a stranger that i was inexperienced with talking to people (even if it is true), but there's nothing wrong with being nervous or admitting that you're nervous. if some guy thought hazelnut was good looking enough to stop what he was doing to talk to her i'm sure he could look past her initial nervousness. also most people wouldn't explicitly ask a stranger to make them feel better - it's just implied, and typically has good results.

i know you were just joking around ros, i'm just dissecting it because i thought it was interesting. 
it seems that people with sa go out of their way to not interact with people, and it makes me wonder if they are expecting to make any progress in doing so. people with acrophobia don't go anywhere tall, and technically that reduces their symptoms, but it also limits what they can do, and i see a similar relationship in social anxiety and how people deal with it. i have to agree with jenikyula that avoiding social contact with people is probably not going to result in any positive progress against sa and is probably the wrong way to deal with it.


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## bbarn (Dec 22, 2007)

this kind of thing happens to me as well. I usually go around campus not talking to anybody unless they are people i know. Sometimes these things happen to my while on the bus and people make up some random convo about my major and what i plan to do afterwards and it usually kinda creeps me out as i don't know you and expect you to fill you in on my life story. There is also this one girl in my class whom i've never talked to but i get a sense that she's trying to avoid me as i see her on the bus and in the mall as well but it's probably because i'm so unapproachable and it seems so awkward that we see each other that many times but never say one thing to each other


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## daaaaave (Jan 1, 2007)

well, i have actually been the guy to try to pick up a girl on campus before. hopefully i did not make any girl feel too uneasy about walking around campus.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

Lol. Sometimes I wish a random person on campus would try talking to me.

But then again I'm a non-attractive creepy guy, so...


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## MNinja (Dec 22, 2007)

You said:


> You should feel flattered, he was just trying to pick you up.


 exactly what i was thinking


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## whiterabbit (Jan 20, 2006)

I get random people talking to me on campus. But if they've initiated the conversation then the pressure's on them. If I don't have anything to say to them then I'm not going to apologise for it. We'll go our separate ways and never speak again. I didn't always think like this. I'd get just as stressed as hazelnut, but after two and a half years of random people talking to me on campus I've gained some perspective. Also I want to enjoy it while it lasts. There's nowhere else like a university campus!


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## Derrick (Jan 30, 2008)

bbarn said:


> There is also this one girl in my class whom i've never talked to but i get a sense that she's trying to avoid me as i see her on the bus and in the mall as well but it's probably because i'm so unapproachable and it seems so awkward that we see each other that many times but never say one thing to each other


I had the same experience with a girl in my class last semester, and a few times this semester, though she wasn't in any of my classes. While walking to my apartment or around campus I'll glance up and there she is, and if the opportunity exist I make an effort to avoid walking just past her, like I'll pretend I have to cross the street and go another direction. What bothers me is I feel obligated to say something to her and chat with her.


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## sparkations (Nov 26, 2003)

its weird to have random strangers try to pick you up. And asking for your address that quickly? Never give out your address to a complete stranger, EVER. You usually meet people through other means-clubs, bars, classes. Once a guy tried to pick me up at the gym. I've been to the gym for 4 years, and have had that happen once to me. That just tells you how often it is people actually use the gym as a site to pick up dates.

Sometimes you might have random strangers approach you to ask you something-for the time perhaps, or ask you for directions, etc. and then they leave you alone. In those instances-don't be freaked out. However, I'm mostly responding in regards to guys that try to pick up girls.

Lol, when someone approaches you and you really don't feel like talking to them. There's an easy way to get out of it: say you're in a hurry and you have to be somewhere in 10 min. Simple as that. However, if you want to talk to the stranger because he/she's really good looking, then hey, by all means, engage in a little small talk. Just don't provide your personal information like address, phone number. If you do want to continue talking to him, provide an e-mail address instead. 

Also, I understand what you mean about not wanting to go back to a "spot" after an awkward encounter with another person. I don't want to go back simply because of fears that that person will be there as well and I'll run into him. Oh well, campuses are huge, and if it makes you uncomfortable, it shouldn't be hard to find another spot to hang out, right?


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## livingnsilence (Feb 4, 2008)

I've had one similar expierence to that back in high school. Some random guy I never met before came up to my locker and started talking to me, but he wasn't talking to me like he just met me he was talking to me like I've known him for a while and was his friend. I tried to be nice and just used the excuse I had to go to class after talking for like a minute, but then the next day he came to my locker again. This started to make me nervous so I tried to get to my locker early or after the bell to avoid him but he'd just figure it out and try to talk to me more and it was just really akward especially b/c after like the third time he tried talking to me he would come up to me and poke me in my side or try to hug me which felt extreamly weird b/c I didn't really know him, I didn't even know his name. Anways I eventually stopped going to my locker b/c I was too afraid to run into him.


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## sh0x (Oct 9, 2006)

i had a similar experience. i was on campus at like 9pm and this middle aged white woman that was walking in the same direction started talking to me all of the sudden. it was slightly awkward, but overall it was a nice chat.

i think talking to strangers is a good thing because it lets u practice your conversational skills, and if u make a fool out of yourself, u know u'll never see that person again, so its no big deal.


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