# It's just work keeping me down.



## animefreak (Jun 4, 2013)

Everything else in my life is improving. It's JUST WORK!! Work is the only thing that keeps knocking me down. I'm in college full time, I work only two days a week 8-10 hour shifts. It doesn't seem as bad considering I always worked every day of the week. But I don't know what to do. There are few people who are kind but most of them have ZERO RESPECT for me, not even as a worker, but as a human being. Just today I got mocked and laughed at today for the most dumb thing and honestly I still don't understand what was so funny about it.

I live in a really busy state in the USA where it's easy to get a job, I've had three different jobs -- no problem whatsoever getting them. There are jobs everywhere. Yet I am struggling so hard right now about whether or not to find another job. Does it even matter? I have hated EVERY single job I've ever had. It's not going to just change. So literally what is the point in finding a new job ? I just don't strive in a group setting. I'm the beta. I'm FINE with one-on-one relationships with people but it's just because I'm forced to be with the same people in a large group. They all know what I'm like and have their opinions of me already. So what do I do? In the end am I really improving with SA or no?

And my boss who is really a good person has picked up on me feeling horrible at work. It seems like every week now she asks me if I'm okay, and if I still like working here. And I want to break and tell her the truth so bad but I know that would be an inappropriate thing to do so I just say yes, of course, and just blatantly lie to her face. It is horrible.


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## animefreak (Jun 4, 2013)

And just the audacity people have to say crap to me that they KNOW I'd never dare say to them... why? I never want to bother anyone. How proud and mighty can you really feel about yourself, saying things to someone you KNOW won't fight back with you, seriously.... that alone is pretty weak.


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## GhostlyWolf (Sep 7, 2015)

animefreak said:


> And just the audacity people have to say crap to me that they KNOW I'd never dare say to them... why? I never want to bother anyone. How proud and mighty can you really feel about yourself, saying things to someone you KNOW won't fight back with you, seriously.... that alone is pretty weak.


People like that are ignorant. If you want someone to chat with just message me. ^_^


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## Melzy3 (Apr 1, 2013)

Im 34 and had so many jobs over the years and most I quit because I couldnt stand the people I worked with,I like working and making money but I cant stand dealing with people,some people are nice but it seems impossible to avoid all the rude morons,the job I have now I mostly work alone,sometimes I see coworkers but they really dont bother me,best bet is get a job where you dont have to deal with many people like being a janitor or security guard,best of luck hope you find a job you like


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## Jammer25 (Feb 22, 2014)

That's the rat race for you. It sucks for people with SA, because fitting in at the office is absolutely critical to recognition, mobility and success in general. A majority of people will care more about whether you fit in with the office culture as opposed to whether you're competent.

I'm having much the same problem in my current job. I have no doubts about my competency to do the job, but I am so quiet and invisible that people already see me as the weird, shy, quiet guy. My social awkwardness is painfully apparent to my immediate coworkers. The odd part is, the fact that my coworkers are so nice makes me feel even more pressure to overcome my SA around them. Basically so I can be nice and all back to them and feel like a more significant part of the group.

I also have no doubt that my boss senses my social shortcomings, but she knows I do good work. She always tells me to talk more, to be more visible in our department. And I'm trying, but as always it's easier said than done.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

I'm so sorry you have to deal with all that crap. Does maybe your college have available jobs? Most colleges are eager to hire their own students. If you feel comfortable there, maybe that might work out better.


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## animefreak (Jun 4, 2013)

GhostlyWolf I messaged and added 

Thanks for the support everyone. I completely understand where you're coming from.  I'd say, it's good to know other people feel the same way you do, but it's really not. It sucks that we are all treated like this. I don't want anyone to experience what I do at work. (Well unless they're the cause, they could really do with an experience or two like this at least, among the hundreds & thousands we've had). 

And actually YES! LostInReverie my college professor just offered me a job monitoring the school's art gallery but I could only start in the spring because they have their fall staff already. It's nothing official or written on paper but he said just remind him near spring. Getting paid for hours of doing hw and art instead of this sh*t sign me up pls!? T_T I'm going to do it and see if it's enough for me to quit this job. But it's still a long wait lol.

And yea bruised wouldn't that be awesome XD I can't defend myself idk why


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Yup. Work is the one true evil in this world. Even Satan can't compare.


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## Hayman (Dec 27, 2014)

I believe that work does lead to a huge chunk of my SA and depression issues. I don't think I'd be going over the top to be saying I'd predict it would be getting on for half of all my problems. The work doesn't so much bother me (although it does feel like an 'Open Prison' environment) - it's having to deal with people. It's that which I really struggle with&#8230;



Jammer25 said:


> A majority of people will care more about whether you fit in with the office culture as opposed to whether you're competent.
> 
> I'm having much the same problem in my current job. I have no doubts about my competency to do the job, but I am so quiet and invisible that people already see me as the weird, shy, quiet guy. My social awkwardness is painfully apparent to my immediate coworkers.


Very much this. Where I work, they've invited potential new workers in for a morning or an afternoon to see if they 'fit' into the existing structure. It doesn't matter if they're good at the job or not, but if they appear to mix with others okay, there's a very high chance they'll get the open/new position. I've seen at least three people taken on this way in the five years I've worked here&#8230; I've been told on several occasions that I was lucky to get my job. They were actually going to take on someone else (obviously they 'fitted' better - no surprises there) but at the last minute the directors decided there was enough work there to justify two new employees, so their first choice and myself, as second choice, were both taken on. If it wasn't for that, I wouldn't be here&#8230;

I used to act more sociable in front of my colleagues when I first started, but as the years have progressed, the effort I've put in hasn't got me anywhere and it used to give me regular headaches with the levels of concentration I was having to put in. I've become more 'clean' about myself this year but naturally, this hasn't gone down well from them either. I'm either snubbed even more so (excluded from just about every conversation, now) or told to "_go out more_" / "_put in more effort_". The same old obtuse tripe...

Clearly, whatever I do is never going to be good enough for anyone, yet alone work colleagues. I kind-of come to that conclusion anyway a couple of years ago. People like myself are just destined to never get anywhere in life, regardless of what we do. We're simply not acknowledged.


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## animefreak (Jun 4, 2013)

^ I too used to try to act sociable around my co-workers when I first started. It was really hard to do but I tried my best. And as time progressed it was only me trying, and it went downhill after a month or so. There's just something about me that doesn't click with them even when I'm trying to be social. I can really feel their discomfort around me. Everyone even stopped giving me a simple hello when I walk into work, and these are all grown adults, not to mention all really social people. I think their general behavior towards me might actually be an "I'm a kid" thing in my case, where the adults expect you to act like an adult but they don't treat you like one, and have zero respect for you, and assume things about you, merely because of your age (which is REALLY fxcking annoying).

It's scary to think this is what the course of life is likely to be. Some people really have to fight to be happy and others have no problem. I feel like you need to attack the main point in your life, and it's like this from childhood - when you're in middle school, middle school is your life. If you're not happy at middle school, you're not happy. Same goes for high school... college... and then eventually career. It's scary because really, the only reason I'm fine now is probably because I only work two days. Those two days I'm miserable, then I'm fine, because I don't have a problem with college. But when it eventually gets to my future career... sometimes it's a scary thought.


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## greyandgreenbean77 (Dec 23, 2013)

animefreak said:


> Everything else in my life is improving. It's JUST WORK!! Work is the only thing that keeps knocking me down. I'm in college full time, I work only two days a week 8-10 hour shifts. It doesn't seem as bad considering I always worked every day of the week. But I don't know what to do. There are few people who are kind but most of them have ZERO RESPECT for me, not even as a worker, but as a human being. Just today I got mocked and laughed at today for the most dumb thing and honestly I still don't understand what was so funny about it.
> 
> I live in a really busy state in the USA where it's easy to get a job, I've had three different jobs -- no problem whatsoever getting them. There are jobs everywhere. Yet I am struggling so hard right now about whether or not to find another job. Does it even matter? I have hated EVERY single job I've ever had. It's not going to just change. So literally what is the point in finding a new job ? I just don't strive in a group setting. I'm the beta. I'm FINE with one-on-one relationships with people but it's just because I'm forced to be with the same people in a large group. They all know what I'm like and have their opinions of me already. So what do I do? In the end am I really improving with SA or no?
> 
> And my boss who is really a good person has picked up on me feeling horrible at work. It seems like every week now she asks me if I'm okay, and if I still like working here. And I want to break and tell her the truth so bad but I know that would be an inappropriate thing to do so I just say yes, of course, and just blatantly lie to her face. It is horrible.


This is me. And it pisses me off we are all expected to thrive in society when we simply can't fit in like others do. Having a day job is almost unbearable if you hate everyone you work with and everyday is bad. I don't feel like ther people get it. I don't feel like "normal" people get it. They don't feel like they are going to break down and lose it just from seeing their coworkers everyday or having to deal with people. For me I feel like I'm going to explode.


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## greyandgreenbean77 (Dec 23, 2013)

Jammer25 said:


> That's the rat race for you. It sucks for people with SA, because fitting in at the office is absolutely critical to recognition, mobility and success in general. A majority of people will care more about whether you fit in with the office culture as opposed to whether you're competent.
> 
> I'm having much the same problem in my current job. I have no doubts about my competency to do the job, but I am so quiet and invisible that people already see me as the weird, shy, quiet guy. My social awkwardness is painfully apparent to my immediate coworkers. The odd part is, the fact that my coworkers are so nice makes me feel even more pressure to overcome my SA around them. Basically so I can be nice and all back to them and feel like a more significant part of the group.
> 
> I also have no doubt that my boss senses my social shortcomings, but she knows I do good work. She always tells me to talk more, to be more visible in our department. And I'm trying, but as always it's easier said than done.


Omg that's me too. Twhen people are nice makes me more stressed out like I have to please them. I act like a b*** on purpose now just to keep everyone away.


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## whathaveibecome (Feb 12, 2016)

Work causes at least 50% of my depression and SA, without it I would be much happier and actually had motivation to live.
It's not even work that bothers me (I'm probably one of hardest working people in company) but having to get up at 5 every single day, be there for 8-10 or even more hours every day, for 5 or even 6 days a week, seeing people i hate every single day, It kills me inside slowly day by day, minute by minute.
It will in the end cause heart attack that will kill me, but idc at least I won't have to deal with this **** ever again.

I'm saving money, wanted to help parents pay of their debt (debt which Is their fault not mine) and work more for some time to save some money and quit and live with them (I would pay my half of expenses and bills) with my savings but they don't care. 
They literally would rather see me die from heart attack or kill myself because of depression than to quit work, they only care about money and work, ****ing pathetic.
They call me parasite, retarded, crazy, kid etc but thats ok, at least they were honest, I'm glad I know what they think about me.

So I'm back to my old plan, save as much money as I can, go to some cheap country somewhere far away and live off my savings as long as I can, idc what happens after that.
I just wanna have free time and do things I always wanted to do before It's my time to leave this world, **** work and this slave society, that's not for me.


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## whathaveibecome (Feb 12, 2016)

JD91 said:


> Omg that's me too. Twhen people are nice makes me more stressed out like I have to please them. I act like a b*** on purpose now just to keep everyone away.


Same, when people are nice to me It makes me more depressed and anxious, because I feel like I should be nice to them but I can't, ****ing SA won't let me, so I try to avoid them or act cold so they leave me alone.
It usually works because It makes them think I'm arrogant or crazy.

If they only knew...


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## ilsr (Aug 29, 2010)

a few coworkers told me I was the "hardest" working person at my old company. Now I wonder if they were bs'ing me. I was trying to avoid conflict but got into it anyways when people kept crossing over my boundaries. They thought I had no right to stand for myself because I am an SA loser and afraid of people. (if not being afraid of people is not SA then what is SA?) I'm not a good actor, I can't act cold to people because I'm oversensitive. People try to walk through me in public anyways, like at lousy Walmarts.


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## Depo (Jan 30, 2015)

Find a job where you can have your own space and not be bothered by co-workers or bosses. I have a job like that and I only have to deal with customers for 20 minutes, after that they leave and I'm left alone (I have a break until a new customer arrives.) I just have to ask them some questions, fill in their data on the computer, give them information and that's it. I think that kind of jobs are suitable for people with SA. I just say hi and good-bye to the other people who work there, but I don't have to interact with them, and my boss works in another part of the city, so she rarely talks to me (I'm the one who is more likely to get in touch with her.)


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