# CBT is a bust, can I go anywhere from here?



## Fuzzy Logic (Sep 16, 2009)

Hi, I have been going to CBT sessions for over two months now but I have not made any progress at all. All that I have achieved is wasting money, so I have decided to cancel my sessions.

The problem is that I am just about as bad a case of SA you could hope to find. I have literally been the way I am from age 1 onward and I dont think the conventional treatments will have any effect on me. I need something much more radical and invasive that will totally change my entire personality.

I was thinking maybe hypnotherapy as a next step and if that doesnt work Ill consider more drastic measures such as electroconvulsive shock therapy or possible some kind of psychosurgery (Ive heard lobotomies and other such treatment can cause massive personality change).

Like I said, I am an extreme case and I may be beyond help but I at least want to exhaust all possible options before giving up on the rest of my life.


----------



## Fuzzy Logic (Sep 16, 2009)

There is no positive truth about me, as is the case with many other people, however fortunately I am comitted to changing myself if at all possible. Well, I suppose there is that _one_ good thing; that I at least have a noble intentionn to stop being what I am and become someone worthwhile.


----------



## SFOD (Dec 10, 2009)

Have you tried medication?


----------



## Fuzzy Logic (Sep 16, 2009)

Yes, for a while now, but medication is not solution in itself. It's never going to change me to the extent that I want.


----------



## joejoe (May 16, 2009)

try didactic behavioural therapy as its a second option when CBT fails.


----------



## kc1895 (Sep 4, 2009)

Let me know how that lobotomy goes if you ever get one.


----------



## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

thank you for telling your experience

I still wonder about the effectiveness and if i should invest the money into it.


----------



## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...-down-with-sad-thoughts-that-you-dwell-78518/

Take the spiritual-mental-emotional route.


----------



## Fuzzy Logic (Sep 16, 2009)

joejoe said:


> try didactic behavioural therapy as its a second option when CBT fails.


Thanks, but that doesn't seem to be available where I am.


----------



## redtogo72 (Jun 7, 2008)

Was it CBT you thought was unhelpful or the doctor? Maybe try a different CBT doctor?

While in CBT, my anxiety still bothered me a lot, but I was at least forcing myself to go out more. That's what you need to expect first to happen. At least for me, I don't think there will be a cure. I will just need to be able to cope and hopefully improve some over time.

I guess I got the basics of CBT: I knew my thoughts and fears about how I was being perceived by others were irrational. I tried the relaxation techniques and wrote some in a journal. Despite all that I was doing, I felt like I was getting "bad grades" for not walking enough. This was very frustrating because I was walking some everyday. 

Whatever therapy I try next I need to express why I think my previous attempts at therapy have "failed." Also, I need to be clear with them on what I need from them to get better.


----------



## delirium (Jun 24, 2009)

Maybe try mindfulness therapy?


----------



## meyaj (Sep 5, 2009)

The fact that you were able to do therapy at all is proof positive that you are not as extreme a case as you believe yourself to be.

Furthermore... SA isn't something that affects you from age 1. If you're really not exaggerating about this fact, then it's far more likely you're dealing with something developmental (ie autism spectrum/asperger's).


----------



## Fuzzy Logic (Sep 16, 2009)

No, I have talked with both a doctor and a therapist and both have cleared me of any autistic spectrum disorders. The offered explanation is that I simply have a natural brain chemistry that is prone to anxiety (I am on medication to lower anxiety, which helps a bit). I can remember being afraid of other children's reactions to me even when I was in playgroup.


----------



## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

http://www.schematherapy.com/
Schema therapy. integrates all three psychodynamic, Gestalt, and CBT. I remember being afraid of my own shawdow and I woudlnt talk in class. I was always crying. now i just dont care.


----------



## Stargirl09 (Dec 14, 2009)

Having low expectations of yourself is part of SA, SA permeates every part of a persons life and thats why it's highly misunderstood and hard to identify symptoms.

At it's core is a stubborn mindset that is so insecure and lacking in self belief, these poor thoughts are perpetuated by avoidance, believing you are inferior, feeling alien which leads to believing you're an impossible case, beyond help-it's makes perfect sense...your attitude is CLASSIC SA at work.

You've outlined your starting point and that the fundamental belief that you CAN respond to treatment, yes, you've tried, we've all tried and we're all suffering the same problem but it's an ongoing process the only difference is that most of us here still kept the faith.

The therpay I've had has been so useless that I feel bitter, not because they didn't diagnose me (which was what I wanted) but because they didn't even listen, they gave me leaflets that I could have got myself, they told me to face everything I was afraid of, stuff you'd read on a tea towel.

I had an assessment back in September for a new course of therapy (here in the U.K it's always free so it's unfortunate you have to pay for it) I'm still hopeful cos I figured out I have SA but I won't tell my new therapist that, I'll see if the jobsworth can figure it out and just enjoy having someone to talk to.

But therapy can only be successful if you show willing, clearly therapists don't have all the answers but it's a two-way thing, you're input is vital and nothing happens quickly.

I've tried Fluoxetine, it got me out of daydreaming and made me super smiley, I also tried hypnosis, it gave me confidence in the short term but is too expensive. You could try hypnotising yourself, thats what my practitioner suggested, she said with enough practice it's just as effective as her service.


----------



## dvod88 (Aug 13, 2009)

I have come to believe that there is a fundamental problem with most SA'ers and the ability to make a 'leap of faith.' We all know so much about the process of the therapies we engage in that we loose sight the of goals generated by that process. I'm not saying you should trust your therapist automatically, but I doubt any real success can come unless your willing to let go and have some faith.

This is what I'm currently working on with my therapist. When my therapist suggests an activity or goal I say to myself 'oh thats aversion therapy and heres 120 reasons why it wont work.' Instead I should be saying to myself 'this is one goal my therapist has suggested as part of a larger process that will eventually lead to relief from the anxiety.' The problem comes with believing, and the leap of faith most SA'ers are not willing to take, including myself, so far.


----------



## Violette (Aug 21, 2005)

Good luck with finding something that works. I'm thinking l'll try hypnotherapy soon as l've exhausted the therapy option. I think there comes a point where you have to take charge of how you think, therapists can only do so much (and only care so much , it's up to us to dig deep to change our lives. Sa'ers are HSPs - highly sensitive people. There's a self help book out about it which explains alot.


----------



## fighter (Nov 28, 2009)

I would suggest giving CBT another go, the statement you made earlier, "there is no positive truth about me" suggests that restructuring your beliefs and thoughts about yourself did not work. 

It isn't about finding "positive" thoughts, it's about turning your negative thoughts neutral. Just because you're not perfect nor great or good does not automatically mean you are some kind of horrible person or a failure, there is an extensively large middle ground in between said states. 

Maybe you're not the most social person, but you don't get off telling other people off in real life, if someone talked with you about some concern of theirs you'd more than likely want to help them out - etc etc

I believe if you're suffering from severe social anxiety you should retry CBT, possibly enroll in a group therapy session as well where you can practice communicating in front of people and actively implement your pdoc's strategies. 

Perhaps taking medications such as a benzodiazepine ala klonopin or xanax would also be of benefit when you're conducting exposure exercises apart of your CBT program.


----------



## rubyruby (Jun 17, 2009)

If you are on medication that helps a bit look at that as an opportunity. Either ask them to bump up the dose so that it helps a whole lot or if you can't do that use the fact that the medication is helping a bit as a window of opportunity. Even if it relieving your symptoms 30% that means you are functioning at a higher level than before.

I am taking a 16 week CBT course..... again. It is bloody hard. I am basically brainwashing myself. But I have to do it.


----------



## britisharrow (Jun 18, 2009)

I'm a believer in NLP, and you don't need to spend loads of money to do it. A good book on it from Amazon* will cost you about £9.99 or whatever the price of a normal book is in your currency. Contained therein will be all you need to know to control your mind, with practice you can change your thought patterns.

Also try starting on an SSRI, it's a bit of a lottery which ones help whom. I was on citalopram, paroxetine, mirtazapine, (sorry we don't do brand names in the UK), and none of them did anything. I then went on fluoxetine and found it to do something, I don't know *what* it's doing but I'd say my depression has lessened by about 8%.

For you it might reduce it by 20% who knows. The real work in getting over this my friend will be in changing your thought patterns and that takes effort, which is hard when you're already emotionally drained. Research on techniques on how to control your own mind, Tony Robbins has a great book called UNLIMITED POWER. Yes it sounds like another one of those silly motivational books, but it is worth its weight in GOLD. If you get any book get that book because it introduces you to the basics of what NLP is and it has loads of practical techniques that will help you.

Finally, ask yourself this: do you want to be happy? This may sound like a stupid question but it is not. A lot of the time people are not successful with treatment is because in their core, deep down in their mind, they are scared of what happiness will bring. New people, a new car, jealousy from other people, unpredictability, sounds good in the abstract sense, but it for a shy person it can be daunting and we can prefer to stay in our state of safety and routine.

So reason with yourself this: even if I feel I don't deserve to be happy, I owe it to those who have died to make the most of my life. Every day I am living is a privilege denied to many and it is my moral requirement that I enjoy myself.


* Other book retailers are available.


----------



## MiddleAged Mama (Jan 20, 2010)

*cause of social anxiety*

I am a 48 year old female with social anxiety, I have given this MUCH thought and have had MANY experiences and I truly believe that Social Anxiety is primarity uncontrollable physiological symptoms (embarassing ones that we don't want others to see) and NOT something I can control with my mind. I do not lack social skills and I do not have low self-esteem. I just can't control these physical symptoms and do not wish to have them viewed by others. Can anyone tell me what medications they find have worked best? Especially interested in Buspirone, Topomax, Ativan etc. I am not too interested in trying the anti-depressants as I hear and read that they cause lack of libido and weight gain. Thrilling.


----------

