# Talked to a girl in English class! But...



## alex999 (Oct 21, 2008)

So today I finally mustered up the courage to talk to this very attractive girl that sits next to me in English. I sat there all period with an opportunity to talk to her, but I kept bailing out and couldn't think of anything to say. Well at the end of class I finally talked to her. My heart was beating a million miles an hour at that moment. So we just had a short conversation on school stuff, etc. Just simple small talk. 

But right after we were done talking she just got up and quickly left class. Given my inexperience, I interpret that as she doesn't want to talk to me or is not interested... I mean I'm not exactly looking for a relationship or anything, just practicing talking to the opposite sex. She asked questions about me, so I guess she wasn't completely uninterested. 

That was a buzzkill...

But I guess the important part is I tried. I could be just sitting here wondering what would have happened. But I can't help but feel a little discouraged...I have a hard time dealing with rejection. I guess that's a part of the risk factor when it comes to overcoming SA.


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

The key now is to try it again on another girl...the goal right now isn't to get a girlfriend, it's to get used to interacting with them, right?
Since you have social anxiety and you're inexperienced, you might get rejected a lot at first, but that's almost what you want. 
It's actually not a bad idea to talk to girls who are extremely attractive, because then it'll be clear to you that you're not _really_ trying to get a date, you're only focus can be just talking to her. In theory, it should get easier, so long as you're learning something from each of the "failures." 
Good luck.


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## Jalista (Sep 16, 2010)

Don't take it personal...I'm a girl and I sometimes leave really quickly after a short conversation. It's not because I'm uninterested in the person, it's just because I feel awkward and I'm not sure if I should stick around and continue talking...so I just leave so I don't end up looking stupid or clingy lol!! She;s probably really glad that you said something to her and broke the ice but she's not sure how to act around you. Keep trying


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## LessThanThree (Oct 5, 2010)

Hey, don't make assumptions.  Maybe, just maybe, she had somewhere to go? Or perhaps she had to use the bathroom really badly. A friend may have been picking her up and it would be rude of her to let her friend sit and wait while she carried on a conversation. There are all sorts of reasons she may have hurriedly left. 

From what you describe, you're on the right track. Also keep in mind it was small talk, so to some people (like myself) it may seem like there's nothing else to say for the day. It's nothing personal at all, so don't get down on yourself. Sounds like you had a rather typical small talk conversation with her.  Congrats!


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## Wrangler (Oct 3, 2010)

I agree with advice given so far about how to view her leaving. Just remember, YOU TALKED TO HER!! Even if she left because she wasn't interested, (and not likely since It was an actual conversation, and she asked questions, not simply dismissing what you said) guess what, your still here, and still alive! You did great man. I've had times where it was so simple to talk to someone, yet for the next month I don't have the ability to say hi to anyone. The thing now is just to keep it up and getting stronger. Good job man!!


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## HunterThompson (Aug 30, 2010)

Jalista said:


> Don't take it personal...I'm a girl and I sometimes leave really quickly after a short conversation. It's not because I'm uninterested in the person, it's just because I feel awkward and I'm not sure if I should stick around and continue talking...so I just leave so I don't end up looking stupid or clingy lol!! She;s probably really glad that you said something to her and broke the ice but she's not sure how to act around you. Keep trying


^ This. Maybe she just felt as awkward as you did in that situation, the fact is, as people with SA, we tend to assume everyone is judging us, but the fact is the opposite is true, we're the ones assuming that they're thinking bad things - we're the ones judging them. Most people without SA don't even notice if you make an *** of yourself in a conversation, or they find it funny at the time then forget 5 minutes later.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

Hey, nice going.

I don't think you need to read into her leaving after class. I've done the same thing after people have talked to me at school.


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## ilsr (Aug 29, 2010)

Good that you tried. Maybe read more into dating books to get "game" or whatever they call it.


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## zigvelvet (Oct 8, 2010)

Congratulations on your attempt! I am 34 and still very afraid to talk to women who are strangers. I am so damn afraid of rejection and applaud your effort. I am so afraid of looking stupid and just not sure what to say.

Regardless, bravo to you!


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## neeko (Aug 9, 2010)

That's good, you can be proud of yourself that you had the courage to speak to her even though you were nervous.


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