# Asked my first girl out



## LonelyDuckling (Nov 20, 2012)

Hey all,

I made a thread on this forum in early November about how I wanted to ask this woman out, and my concerns, and social retardness. The day or so after I made that thread a fire erupted in the internet exchange in my city knocking my internet out for nearly a month, so wasn't able to report what happened.

Basically, I'm 23 years old, never ever asked a girl out, have never had a girl friend, and still a virgin. I work in a supermarket and see and work with attractive women all the time, and but due to my social anxiety and severe negative thoughts, I could only think of all women as unobtainable, something I could never have, never be with, never be good enough for. 

This one woman I work with took my fancy the first time I saw her, she works in a different department and only a few days a week, but immediately there was something about her. I started greeting her whenever I could, and making small chat, and then all of a sudden she would start making conversation with me, start joking with me, and this continued on for month after month. I'd been wanting to ask this woman out since the first time I saw her, but was simply too scared to do it.

A whole nine months passes, until, on a Thursday night in November, a few days after I made my first thread on this forum, and a few days after I lost my internet, I finally got the courage to ask her out. It was the scariest thing I've probably had to do in my entire life.

It went like this:

Me: Hey, so are you going to the work's xmas party?
Her: Na, I'm working on that night.
Me: Ah, well maybe we should go out and do something some time?
Her: We should.
Me: Cool (Lol, my mind was going freaking nuts at this point)
Her: When?
Me: I don't know, ah, give me your phone number?
Her: Ok, I'll give it after work. (It can actually count as sexual harassment to ask a work mate out while working, but I was taking that chance, lol.)

After I did this, I just had all this energy.. felt so good. I don't know what it was about that day that finally gave me the courage to do it, maybe it was because of the phone lines being down, and the total black out we had in the supermarket on that night, it was just a crazy night, it was THE night, lol.

My social anxiety set in again, and my stress as big as ever when I finally got around to taking her out for dinner etc, I'll detail that in another post to prevent this one being too big.


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## psychofanatic (Dec 17, 2012)

Right on, man! Takes a lot of balls to ask a girl out. Virtual high fives all around!

Go celebrate a well-earned victory!


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## racer (May 7, 2012)

Virtual high five


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## NoHeart (May 5, 2012)

Good one!


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## lzzy (Nov 28, 2012)

Seriously, I'm happy for you!


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## DS29790bb (Dec 31, 2011)

That's awesome. I laughed at the "Cool" comment because a couple times, something like that has happened to me where I was so shocked at the response of someone that I had no idea what to say. Glad it went great though!


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

Asking a girl out to start with is awsome enough but when i saw the thread titel I thought it was gonner end with 'she said no but Im glad I had the balls to ask.'

But she said yes too! That's great


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## gof22 (Dec 25, 2012)

Congratulations, I am happy for you.


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## ThISme (Aug 3, 2012)

Awesome! Congrats! I asked my crush at work before x-mass. we'll see if anything comes of it. I'm kinda of apprehensive cause its at work but I don't see her much and I work at her site and another. I don't know. But I was proud i finally had the guts to ask her. I talked to her just asking that is tough lol.


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## DysfunctionalDoll (Dec 14, 2012)

That's so rad! Hope it all goes well for you.


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## alone12 (Dec 29, 2012)

Good for you!! I'm really happy for you


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## vancouver (Apr 7, 2012)

Great job man, really looking forward to the story on how the date went..


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## Mandachii (Nov 29, 2012)

That's amazing. Congratulations!  I hope the date goes well for you!


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## LonelyDuckling (Nov 20, 2012)

Hey, 

Ok, so on the Sunday of the week after I asked her out, we went out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant. We had been texting throughout the week, even sending me pictures of her dog, and joking if he doesn't like me I'm a goner, lol.

I was doing my social anxiety act before I arrived at her house, but as soon as I arrived my anxiety calmed. After meeting the dog, who seems to really like me, I drove her to the restaurant, and we sat ordered meals, chatted away. It was a good night for the most part.

The only couple of negative things that happened on the first date, was me revealing that I'm a bit of a social retard, and the fact she thought I was 25, not 23. I didn't even mean to lay it on her that I'm a bit socially behind where I should be for my age, it just kind of got revealed when discussing our life during dinner convo. 

I was dwelling on it all when driving her home, I asked her if my age bothered her, she said she didn't know, and then I asked her if she only said yes to going out with me because she wanted to be nice, or felt sorry for me, but she said: "I wouldn't have said yes, if I didn't like you.", and joked her she would of said no if she didn't and transferred not one, but two stores away, lol.

So after letting my social retardness get the best of me a little at the end, I thought I was truly done for when I dropped her back at her house, but she asked me right away If I wanted to get together the very next day.

It wasn't the first date I had imagined, but I'm kind of glad that I did reveal some of my vulnerabilities, and social problems, no point having a relationship if you aren't open. I could of kept my mouth shut, and pretended I was mr. perfect, but it would of unraveled sooner or later.


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## LonelyDuckling (Nov 20, 2012)

So to continue on from the first date, I drove home in tears thinking about how I did this wrong, or that wrong, or I should of done this or that. I was losing it. Sara even had sent me a message about how she had a great time, and how she looked forward to seeing me the next day, but I was still full of anxiety.

I've gone about my life masking my social problems, and lack of social achievements etc, from basically everyone except for my mother(Which is why I never really get anywhere with doctors and psychologists). When I was in high school, it was just plain flat out wrong to talk about your feelings as a guy, at least in my group of friends it was. You had to appear strong, happy, normal, and if you couldn't do that you'd soon find yourself losing friends left and right. It's one of the reasons I ended up on my lonesome in the first place. So basically, when I let this woman in on the fact that I wasn't happy, strong, or "normal", It really cut me up, because this woman is "the one" in my mind, I didn't want to be abandoned once again.

The next day began by getting me getting a haircut, which is a pretty big deal for me, because I was once too socially retarded to even let a hairdresser get that close and personal with me, I'd just get my mother to shave my hair all off.

I sent her an SMS asking what we were doing, and she asked if I wanted to come with her to the beach to walk the dog. I arrived at her house in a shirt and pants, in which she gave me a funny look and reminded me we were going to the beach, I quickly drove home and changed into shorts. I knew shorts were the best option before hand, but I let my anxiety get the best of me, because I was too worried about how white my legs are, and the fact I usually play Mr safe with clothing afraid of standing out because of what I wear.

After changing into shorts and arriving back at her house, she drove us to the beach, and we had a nice walk, even if it was a windy day. My anxiety calmed after she saw my legs and didn't say anything bad, however, it began during the walk because I was unsure if I should be holding her hands on the walk, would it be too much, am I not doing enough, am I screwing it up again, etc. I chose not to try hold her hand, but we still had a good time.

We drove back to her house and talked, and I met her housemate who is really nice. I made up some excuse about having to leave shortly after, just because I'm new to all of this, and I didn't know if I was staying for too long, I didn't want to be too "in her face", so early, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, I've been on a few dates since then, I'll make posts about them when I get the chance. Currently sh-tting a massive brick because shes invited me to a wedding reception, which despite being told is very casual, I'm still totally self conscious about my appearance, and if I'm going to be under-dressed.


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## vancouver (Apr 7, 2012)

LonelyDuckling said:


> Currently sh-tting a massive brick because shes invited me to a wedding reception, which despite being told is very casual, I'm still totally self conscious about my appearance, and if I'm going to be under-dressed.


From your story it seems like its gone great, good work. Just ask her how you should dress..


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## LonelyDuckling (Nov 20, 2012)

I did, and she told me to stress less, but if it was that easy to calm my bonkers brain, I'd be loving life, lol.


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## sadmeme (May 22, 2012)

She's really into you, you're lucky 

I can understand your anxiety very well, if I had a "beach-walk" date like you did I'd think if I should have held her hand for like 1 month, and I'd be as insecure as you in the rest, always thinking I'd be screwing up. Really got no advice for you, but I'll keep reading your story


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## vancouver (Apr 7, 2012)

LonelyDuckling said:


> I did, and she told me to stress less, but if it was that easy to calm my bonkers brain, I'd be loving life, lol.


haha no I know what your saying man. But like the guy who posted above me said, I think your lucky and caught a good gal!

Its ****ty cause of SA you'll probably stress hard prior to your event, but I'm sure once your there and you sip on your drink  your night will be great!

Be happy you got a partner heading into 2013, imagine the amount of people on here (including me) who envy that!


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## bent (Aug 4, 2005)

It sounds like it was an important transition for you. Now you have some experience dating and it looks like the girl you met really likes you


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## LonelyDuckling (Nov 20, 2012)

I got out of the wedding thing, I was totally freaking out before hand, but was still going to go. Basically, what happened is that she was so busy in the morning, and didn't have access to her phone all day, so couldn't get into contact with me. She was very apologetic, but suggested I should of just showed up, lol. There was no way I was doing that SA or no SA, anything could of happened during the day, and I didn't know the times, and had never been to the venue. It was only really a last moment decision for me to go to the reception anyway. So, I found myself stressing that I had to go, and stressing afterwards that I missed out, tis the battle of the SA brain.

*Edit* Deleted the next post, and removed most of this post. Going to post it all as a blog instead, it simply becomes too much of a wall of text if I do it in this format.


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## Present (Mar 7, 2011)

I've never been on this section of the Forum lol and I found your story very interesting Great Job sounds like she really likes you. During your first date you mentioned you wanted to be a Mr. Perfect but I like how you said it's better to keep it "real". I think it's perfectly normal that mistakes where made during the first date. She's right when she told you straight up I wouln't have gone out with you if i didn't like you. So far so good bro. Next time you stress think about how successful you've been because you really have been successful, mistakes are going to be made key is to not to make a big deal and beat yourself up for it. This girl has accepted you for who you are. My best wishes to you. Smile


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## Parcius (Jun 3, 2012)

Good for you!!


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## Craig91 (Dec 17, 2012)

Thanks for sharing this. Quite inspiring as I can relate to a lot of what you were thinking/feeling!


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## LonelyDuckling (Nov 20, 2012)

Thanks for the kind comments everyone, I'll keep posting what is happening via blog


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