# What you find most attractive in a mate(for guys)



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

Okay guys.

Pick the three top qualities you look for in a girl.

So there's no confusion, I'll briefly explain what each is.

Physical Attractiveness: Simply put, how good a girl appears. This includes their physical appearance and also if they make efforts to make themselves look attractive with proper clothes, make-up etc.

Social Status: How they appear in the social world like being a very popular person that everyone loves, everyone gets along with and respects. Has many friends.

Confidence: Pretty much what it is. They aren't afraid to take risks for themselves or for you.

Wealth/Success: They have money. And presumably have a good job too and low or no personal debt. They'll probably be going places in the career world.

Common Interests/Faith: Self explanatory. They share your interests, hobbies and beliefs about the world.

Intelligence: You know, girls that are quite smart, maybe more than yourself. 

Outgoing: Likes to go out and do things. Eat out, go on dates, travel, explore the world. Maybe go to parties too.

Introversion: Likes to be a homebody, be quiet and alone. Shy.

Loyalty: Can be trusted to be there for you. Won't go chasing after other guys.

Ambitious: Has strong desires to achieve something in life and will do it takes to get there.

Again, pick the top three elements for yourself. If you think of another common trait that I didn't think of, feel free to mention it.


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## holtby43 (Jan 1, 2008)

Physical attractiveness, loyalty and introversion.

Sorry, I voted slightly wrong. There are more that are important to me but it was hard only choosing three.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Confidence, active/outgoing, and ambitious. I am so turned on by women who know what they want in life and aren't afraid of pissing people off in the process.

Physical attractiveness no longer matters to me unless I'm looking for a lust object. It used to be a "plus", but now I really don't care as long as she's not obese or foreign-looking, and not disgusting, hairy, and smelly like most men are. I can't even say that beauty is what "initially grabs my attention" because if I first notice a woman because of her hotness then I no longer think of them as someone I can like as a crush. The women I lust after are never the ones I get a crush on because most "hot" women are generic and stupid, but unfortunately most everyday women are generic and stupid too.


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## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

Initally Physical Attractiveness/Beauty is mostly what matters. (Face it, how do you get attracted to her ambition when shes half way across the room and you havn't met her yet? Answer: You don't. It's the looks.) 

But of course looks are not everything. Michael Wong of Stardestroyer.net explains it nicely, "I saw Ben Affleck on TV the other night and a (hot) reporter asked him what he found to be the biggest turn-on in a woman. Ben, having been fully programmed, responded predictably by saying that he was most aroused by "a woman who can assert herself". Can you say "bull****?" When he sees a woman asserting herself, he finds that a huge turn-on? That's a bigger turn-on than a woman with long legs, a round, firm ***, smooth skin, a pretty face, long hair, or a nice rack? Assertiveness? I know it takes more than physical beauty to build a long-term relationship, but let's face it; we're men, and everyone knows what really turns us on."


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

She just has to be hot. Who cares about all that other stuff?

OK, it sounds like I'm ordering something off a restaurant menu, but... Top 3 based off this list...

*Physical Attractiveness* 
Nothing's going to get started without physical attraction..

*Loyalty* 
Well if she's not loyal, I am probably wasting my time with her?

*Common Interests*
...At least a few things in common...


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

Someone who is funny, doesn't take themselves seriously, and if they're attractive that's a plus.


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## ANCIENT (Aug 9, 2005)

physical attractiveness and loyalty.


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

asdg


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## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

cat ears and a long feathery tail. and I won't deny it, meowing is definitely a plus. ops


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

-Physical Attractiveness/Beauty: Yeah, it matters, though she certainly doesn't need to a beauty queen.

-Social Status/Popularity: Doesn't matter.

-Confidence: Doesn't matter. 

-Wealth/Success: It would be nice if she had money, but again, not something I specifically seek out.

-Common Interests/Faith: Toss the faith. If we have anything in common she won't have any faith.

-Intelligence: Not that important as long as she's within reasonably normal bounds. I've never actually meet a woman I thought was too dumb. Did know a highly irritating Mensa member who though she was superior to me for years.

-Outgoing/Active Lifestyle: NO! I don't want her waking me up at sunrise for a run. 

-Introversion: good, then she might better understand my personality. 

-Loyalty: Yes, but doesn't that go without saying? Who's looking for a disloyal partner that will screw a football team and then stab him in the back?

-Ambitious/Has Goals in Life: No, then she'd probably expect me go get goals too. We can't have that.


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## Thumbs27 (Mar 10, 2008)

Physical Appearance 
Loyalty

Those two were pretty easy for me. There's a difference to being hot, and being beautiful/attractive. It's hard for me to explain the difference, but I tend to like someone who's beautiful rather than hot.
Loyalty is always good, I want someone I can trust.

3rd was a toss up between Introversion, and Common Interests. 
I choose introversion, but I'm still not sure. Social butterflies tend to be pretty intimidating with all there friends and such. A girl who's a little quiet would be nice, I'd feel like she would be able to understand me better, although I don't want a total shut in. 
Common interests is always good. You'd just get along better, pretty obvious.

Almost forgot intelligence. I wouldn't mind if they were smart or a little dumb, kind of the middle of the spectrum. I just wouldn't like "I'm surprised you haven't forgotten how to breath yet" dumb. I could forgive that though if they were a genuinely nice person, but sometimes it could be too much.


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## Vito (Mar 14, 2008)

I don't look for this, because it would be unpleasant for me to be with an other person this way. I know, I've tried it. She was the complete opposite of me, though. That could be it..

However, I would look for a woman who is introverted, intelligent, only so she could understand the way I am, and has interests that are in common with mine. Physically, she should be around my size and height or smaller, only because I'm incompatible with the mindsets of larger people. They tend towards more outgoing behaviour, usually.


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## LonelyEnigma (Jan 7, 2007)

Removed


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

Not everyone is physically attracted to the same things.


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## Ken_Noddy (Jan 31, 2008)

glas said:


> Beauty wins.
> Ugly girls are out of luck I guess...


Not true. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I'm attracted to girls who many others would consider 'ugly', doesn't seem to matter though cos none of them are interested in me. :cry


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## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

exactly. the only form of ugly is that which we project on people, and therefore ugliness lives within. ; - ;


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Ken_Noddy said:


> I'm attracted to girls who many others would consider 'ugly', doesn't seem to matter though cos none of them are interested in me. :cry


Tell me about it.

It sucks.


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## Jaan Pehechaan Ho (Dec 2, 2005)

glas said:


> It seems like ugly guys always say something about liking girls that most people do not find attractive. I think that... they actually see that the girl is ugly and think that nobody else will want them (no threat of a hot guy) and will want to hook up with them because they are desperate. They feel more comfortable with an ugly person because, you know, nobody wants the ugly girl. They are both equally unwanted in society. But they really want a hot girl and if they were to magically turn into a total GQ magazine hunk, they would want to upgrade their girlfriend to someone gorgeous. Or they may genuinely believe that the ugly girl is beautiful.... I don't see how though.
> Also, whenever I see model type guys outside they are NEVER ever with an average or below average female. They buy the best their looks can afford. So ugly to below average looking guys always say the thing about liking girls that are considered unattractive by most people, because they know they can't get a beautiful woman. Which is what every straight guy wants.


whats GQ?


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

Gentleman's Quarterly magazine.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

njodis said:


> Not everyone is physically attracted to the same things.


yea. ive found some women to be attractive that others didnt think so and vice versa


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

She's a Western Psychology/Eastern Spirituality nut. That's hot!


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## nightmahr (Jan 2, 2008)

Um, physically, I like girls that look Irish or Sicilian/Southern Italian (cause I'm a racist). Being tall or odd looking is good too. And... looking sad I guess. I don't like happy faced people as much. I like other people too but this is what I'm most drawn to.

Otherwise, I like those who are 'heavy', you know? Like this one girl I know, her everyday conversations sound like something out of The Silmarillion or Beowulf. I can't think of anything more captivating than that... it's frightening really.

Liking good music is pretty hot too. If you like Nick Cave, Leonard Cohen, black metal, I'll probably like you. Also going with this is thinking around where I think, in that region of post-modern emotional apathy, you know? But I also appreciate people who think differently.

Oh and liking private conversations and gossip.


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## TheGecko (Nov 26, 2007)

Common interests, intelligence, introversion.

I couldn't deal with a really outgoing girl, I'm just the total opposite of that. A lot of guys don't like intelligent girls but I think that it's a very attractive quality.


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

It's nice to have someone I can chat with for hours on end. Just enjoying each other's company, meeting at a coffee shop to read and talk or just be together. This is what I find most attractive. Someone whose not afraid of having a strong connection, but smart enough to not let it swallow us up. I'm over the physical attraction at first site...I think. : )


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## ericj (Jun 20, 2007)

glas: What about us ugly men? Just exterminate us?

...hmm... I guess that would be better than enduring life.



I couldn't vote, because I can't choose. I need a mix of these, with some absolute (Introversion and Loyalty) and a number are of others have some importance but could be overridden under the right circumstances.

Physically, I like those that are best described as "robust".


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## holtby43 (Jan 1, 2008)

glas said:


> It's just that ugliness isn't something I'd want to get past and accept. I mean, I know some people do... and they make great grandmothers and aunts... but they will never be treated in a way an attractive person would be treated (or at least not be treated as a lesser person), which is impossible (for me) to accept.


Glas, you're far, far from ugly! How many times do you need to hear that?


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## ericj (Jun 20, 2007)

You said:


glas said:


> && I think beautiful women should be left for the beautiful men.
> and the beautiful men should be left to ugly girls. ( *ahem* ... me) hehe ^^


The lack of ugly males seemed to indicate we were best left to some kind of final solution.


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

Toscy said:


> glas said:
> 
> 
> > It's just that ugliness isn't something I'd want to get past and accept. I mean, I know some people do... and they make great grandmothers and aunts... but they will never be treated in a way an attractive person would be treated (or at least not be treated as a lesser person), which is impossible (for me) to accept.
> ...


don't bother


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## VCL XI (Jan 19, 2004)

Shared interests and similar worldview is absolutely number one, or a personality type I find interesting. Someone I could comfortably talk to like my male buddies with the additional future possibilty of, um...consensual molestation?

My physical preferences have _always_ been completely random so that's pretty trivial. I've never bought a GQ in my life.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Unless you are frighteningly ugly or morbidly obese, you have a "good look" in you. (And even in those cases, you still might.)

Does it help to have good genes? Of course it does, but it's not going to make or break you. A "good look" is mostly in how you present yourself. Confidence, demeanor/attitude, dress, hygiene. 

- Do you project confidence by standing tall or are you walking around like a hunchback? 
- Do you have an approachable, friendly demeanor or do you have a sullen look of "Don't you dare talk to me!" on your face? 
- Are you dressed for success or are you dressed like a slob? 
- Do you brush your hair and wash your face or do you just roll out of bed and out the door?

People will receive you and TREAT you based on how you project yourself to them. This has very little to do with your gene pool and has a LOT to do with things you have COMPLETE control over. Put your shoulders back and chin up. Unfurrow those eyebrows. Make eye contact. Smile when someone looks at you. And holy hell, pay attention to your HYGIENE (as basic as that is, it blows my mind how many people I see who obviously don't bother with this or are OBLIVIOUS to it). People respond to others based on how they perceive them. They will react to YOU.

An example: If you say "hi" to someone in a low tone, nonchalant sort of way and then put your head down, they will respond the same way. Why should they put forth the effort if you're not going to bother? On the other hand, if you put a little bit of zest into that "hi" ("HI!") and couple it with a smile, the person will give you a much more positive response. Try it.

Point is, if you project misery, you will receive it back.

You may not be able to turns heads walking down the street, but that doesn't mean you have to roll over and surrender.


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## LonelyEnigma (Jan 7, 2007)

Removed


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

Oh she has to do "shadow" work. Must do!!! Hot! :b


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## demian1 (Dec 11, 2006)

Physical attractiveness/beauty(in my eyes), intelligence(good conversations, wit, sense of humor), loyalty(can we ever know for sure?). I voted for those three, even though I would have voted for common interests also(faith not so important, as long as she's not into religion or new agey crap too much). A common interest for me would include being at least somewhat active physically, since I love to go on walks in the woods and long drives through new and old places which include beautiful scenery.


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

She thinks Albert Schweitzer's mustache is sexy. Hot!!! :b


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Common interests, intelligence, confidence


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## mystory (Nov 28, 2011)

loyalty, common interests, introversion. In that order with loyalty being the most important. Confidence is least important in the list. I don't have any why expect it from someone else? I rather find someone else similar to me. I have enough people in the world making me feel different.


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## GenoWhirl (Apr 16, 2011)

*Common Interests/Faith* hands down because if it's meant to be it's meant to be, well for some people that is.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

All of the above.


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## Cletis (Oct 10, 2011)

What's the deal with the HUGE font???  :twak


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## successful (Mar 21, 2009)

Physical Attractiveness/Beauty


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## Nightlight (Jan 7, 2012)

Definitely loyalty - I've been screwed over quite a bit.


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## MJM58 (Jan 29, 2011)

Common interests, intelligence, and introversion. I tend to like girls who are similar to myself.


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## nkprasad12 (Aug 27, 2011)

How do you choose three on the poll?

Attractiveness, Common Interests, Loyalty. 
Intelligence is a close 4th but I think anyone with interests like mine would be smart enough.


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

A girl who makes time fly.

That's all ya want. 

If yer with a girl and time goes by really fast and you want it to slow down, then thats the wan fer ya!


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## kosherpiggy (Apr 7, 2010)

i guess confidence.


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## fate77 (Jan 15, 2012)

You really should've made multi-selection possible... I'd say, of the ones you listed, it'd have to be either intelligence or introversion (probably intelligence), then physical beauty would probably come third.


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## cmed (Oct 17, 2009)

Physical Attractiveness, Loyalty, Common interests


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## Matomi (Sep 4, 2011)

Physical Attractiveness/Beauty_
Common Interests/Faith_
Loyality

Finding someone with the above qualities, for me anyways, seems impossible.
Forever Alone!


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## straightarrows (Jun 18, 2010)

so in this Way I'll never get a Friend!! :b:teeth


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