# Senior approaching graduation...



## FlickeringHope (Oct 12, 2009)

I graduate in May and am already experiencing a trapped/suffocating type of feeling...I'm worrying myself to death...

I have no idea what to do after graduation. 

I feel so lost, so stupid....I don't have a clear path. I don't even know exactly what I want still. I feel like everyone else owns the manual to life and knows exactly what to do and I just have yet to receive it. :S

I don't even know if I'm making sense. Is this normal so late in the game? Shouldn't I know what I want by now? Shouldn't I feel motivated and hopeful? 

I just think this sucks. All through life, I've not been a fan of school whatsoever really (though I've maintained decent grades)....but now it's like I'm going to be "thrown to the wolves" when forced out into the real world. Academics hasn't prepared me for this. There's no step-by-step guideline to follow for life. I just went to college because that was the next step, at least the only one I knew of at the time.

*sigh* sorry, I'm rambling...I'm just so worried and my brain won't stop, thinking about how anxious I am about having to find a job and pay back all those stupid student loans. And all for a crappy, pointless education anyway. I feel sick. 

ugh, I don't know...


Anyone relate? What are your plans?


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## rcapo89 (Jun 3, 2009)

FlickeringHope said:


> I graduate in May and am already experiencing a trapped/suffocating type of feeling...I'm worrying myself to death...
> 
> I have no idea what to do after graduation.
> 
> ...


*EDIT: I was under the impression that you were a senior graduating from high school. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Hopefully someone else will be able to give you better advice. Man I feel stupid. lol*

You're making perfect sense.  
Many students who enter college are still undecided on their future career path. I'm currently attending taking my core classes at a community college. Hopefuly I will be able to transfer into a university.

I remember after graduating high school, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. It took me over a year to build the courage to even apply to a college. Before that I had no motivation and felt like a leech living off my parents. :no

Please don't despair because you're not alone. :squeeze


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## rcapo89 (Jun 3, 2009)

By the way what is your major in college?


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## FlickeringHope (Oct 12, 2009)

lol...it's okay. I realized after I posted that that someone might think of a high school graduate first. I should have put 'college' before 'senior' in the title.

Anyway, my post is probably stupid. Nevermind. I was just feeling really, really down at the moment I wrote it.

Everyone has to find what's right for them. I'm just lost and don't know what to do. I suppose nobody can really give me any advice on anything if I don't know what I want in the first place. :S

Thanks for responding to my thread anyway. I appreciate it.


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

FlickeringHope said:


> I graduate in May and am already experiencing a trapped/suffocating type of feeling...I'm worrying myself to death...
> 
> I have no idea what to do after graduation.
> 
> ...


It's like reading my own thoughts..I'm graduating soon too,and I have no plans or anything.
I am afraid that I won't find a job when I'm finished,and every job I want I will have to have lots of contact with people.I worry that no one will hire me because I am as shy as I am.

I don't really have any advice or anything since I'm trying to find a plan myself,but I can relate to how you feel.
Hang in there


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## ryanb (Nov 16, 2009)

*


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## FlickeringHope (Oct 12, 2009)

@ Invisible_girl...thanks for responding to my thread...though I'm really sorry you're experiencing the same feelings. It's scary thinking about the future and imagining the worst.



ryanb said:


> I understand your anxiety. I'll be graduating from college this summer and don't quite feel like heading straight back to grad school or jumping into a career, better yet entering the "real world" at all. Perhaps you should look into full-time volunteer programs that can provide you with experience, money to pay back student loans or use on future schooling, a stipend to live on, and housing. Better yet, I think that it might make the transition from full-time schooling a little easier.
> 
> I'm applying for the fall 2010 term of AmeriCorps NCCC, the Maryland Conservation Corps, and a few state AmeriCorps programs that i'm interested in. Most involve 10-month service terms working on small teams with other young people, which I think would also be a great opportunity to improve social skills and work on building relationships. Of course, you need to be altruistic and not be in it for the money (as the stipends tend to be meager), but I think that doing "volunteer" work with tangible results would be very rewarding. Who knows, we could even end up on the same team!
> 
> What do you think?


ryanb...thanks for the response!

Funny thing is, I've sort of considered AmeriCorps. I think it's totally awesome that you are going to try for it!!

I do think it's an amazing option to consider....it's just, lately, I'm doubting my ability to do just about anything. And I'm questioning whether I would be able to cope...being with a group of people constantly, considering I seem to be both highly introverted and painfully shy. I don't know...

But being a part of a bigger cause, volunteering, appeals to me greatly. It has for a long while now. I've never been able to force myself into any sort of volunteering, though....because of the shyness/SA I guess. :/

I know I can't keep doing what I'm doing, though...

And I think you're right, being around a group of people should improve social skills and you all would be working for the same cause.

Another thing I've considered is applying for some sort of temporary/seasonal work....like at a National Park. It would get me out of the state I'm currently in (which is highly appealing, always has been)...except it's even more temporary than the AmeriCorps option.

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.....I suppose I need to pick something soon though and run with it! Because...yeah, the "real world" scares me.

Anyway, if you could, please let me know how it goes for you! I'd love to hear. It's especially inspiring since you also have SA issues.


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## GrimedMechanic86 (Jan 20, 2010)

FlickeringHope said:


> I do think it's an amazing option to consider....it's just, lately, I'm doubting my ability to do just about anything. And I'm questioning whether I would be able to cope...being with a group of people constantly, considering I seem to be both highly introverted and painfully shy. I don't know...


You doubt your ability?? Honey, you have just accomplished something great, your graduating college. That to me speaks leaps and bounds about your abilities and your capacity to overcome obstacles. You may feel scared because your transitioning but remember, that first step is always a doozy!

I say keep up with your momentum, don't lose it and keep going.


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## FlickeringHope (Oct 12, 2009)

Hey polythene...thanks so much for your response. I relate exactly to what you said.



polythene said:


> I think the volunteering is a fantastic idea - if your SA isn't debilitating, a huge exposure activity like that might help you tremendously. That's how people grow, right? Not sure how it would translate into a sustainable career, though. Several people I know/know of have chosen to teach English abroad, which can pay well and give you good travel opportunities. I'd like to do this very much, though I'm worried I won't qualify... especially with the anxiety issues. It would at least mean a chance to make some money to start paying off student loans, though.


yeah....I don't know how debilitating my SA is, but it must be pretty bad....with a mix of both introversion and extreme shyness, I've pretty much isolated myself the last three years of college. I just don't know how to get myself back out into the world properly and meet new people again. :/

I have heard about teaching English abroad...and immediately it struck me as amazing. I just think that's way beyond myself at this point, though. If I were outgoing/extroverted and confident, I'd do it in a heartbeat, though. Which sucks because I'm none of those things, lol.



polythene said:


> Anyway, you're definitely not alone. I hope we get ourselves sorted out eventually... btw, have you ever talked to the career counselors at your school? I never bothered, but I'm starting to think it couldn't hurt.


umm...I think the person I went to see once was a career counselor. I took some sort of interest inventory thing....but those things never help me really. :/ Beyond that, she said I could check out books over careers in the career library center, but I only checked out one then (about psychology majors) and since then, just never had the motivation to go back. I don't know what to say to them, since I don't know what I want to do at all..and I figure if I sit there not knowing what to say, they can't really offer any advice...maybe I'm wrong? Anyway, it's worth it for you to go just to see what they say.

I think I just have a huge mental block, maybe....extremely low self-esteem which makes me think I'm not capable of anything. Even if I'm somewhat interested about something, I assume I'm not good enough for it. But yet, I still don't have a "passion" for anything and at this point can't imagine being happy at any sort of job. :S It sucks feeling like I don't have a "passion" or a 'drive' which pushes me to try to be succesful! :/

I don't know how to help myself anymore with any of this. :S



GrimedMechanic86 said:


> You doubt your ability?? Honey, you have just accomplished something great, your graduating college. That to me speaks leaps and bounds about your abilities and your capacity to overcome obstacles. You may feel scared because your transitioning but remember, that first step is always a doozy!
> 
> I say keep up with your momentum, don't lose it and keep going.


Hey, thanks for the kind words, really. I realize I *should* feel that way, but honestly, I don't. I don't feel proud of myself and don't feel like I've achieved anything, even though I will technically have a bachelor's degree soon. It's just like these past 4 years have been a waiting period for something else....I diminish the effort I've put into school and figure it's probably not the hardest school ever (nor a very hard major) and it was relatively easy to get through. I don't feel I've learned anything, really....I'm just fortunate enough to be able to "get by" with what needs to be done for a grade. I don't think any of it transfers to real world skills and ability, though....:/

I just visited with a school counselor about a month ago, and he was basically saying the same thing with my reluctance to go into volunteering....he said something like, "c'mon (in a joking manner)...how hard is it to sling mashed potatos on a plate for the homeless...surely you can do that, you're in college!" Even though I didn't know what to say at the time...I realized later that even then, I could find someone who could do it better...someone sociable who can say funny things while serving with a big friendly smile....

I know though, none of it is good thinking whatsoever, and I'd never tell a friend something like that about their own work or abilities. But it is what I feel about myself, and I can't seem to change that. :/

I have serious issues, I know...


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## GrimedMechanic86 (Jan 20, 2010)

Well I wish you good luck in your future endevours. Whatever comes to pass know this, your not alone. I don't have any sources but, you should know that alot of students feel like the way you do right now. Myself included.

Don't ever doubt your abilities.

May I ask what is your major and what school you are/were attending?


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## jane (Jan 30, 2006)

FlickeringHope said:


> I feel like everyone else owns the manual to life and knows exactly what to do and I just have yet to receive it. :S


I know a bunch of people who are, or who have felt adrift after graduating, and they outnumber by far the people I know who have started working in their fields right away. You are definitely not alone- you are in the majority.


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## FlickeringHope (Oct 12, 2009)

GrimedMechanic86 said:


> Well I wish you good luck in your future endevours. Whatever comes to pass know this, your not alone. I don't have any sources but, you should know that alot of students feel like the way you do right now. Myself included.
> 
> Don't ever doubt your abilities.
> 
> May I ask what is your major and what school you are/were attending?


Thank you. I wish you much luck as well!

To answer your question, I'm a Psychology major/Criminal Justice minor. I'll tell you what school via PM. Just because I'm a bit paranoid about revealing that in the open for just anyone to see.



jane said:


> I know a bunch of people who are, or who have felt adrift after graduating, and they outnumber by far the people I know who have started working in their fields right away. You are definitely not alone- you are in the majority.


Thanks. It is just hard to see it that way, I guess. That and one of my sisters, who I look up to so much, went straight to Med School after getting her bachelors! But yeah, I need to remember that I'm not the only one feeling lost and unsure. It's just difficult.


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## Hello22 (Feb 10, 2010)

*At FlickeringHope*: I know exactly how you feel. Im graduating this May to a world where there is not one single job thats in my specialised field. Work has dried up in alot of countries, including mine and i feel trapped. I dont want to recieve benefits but i might not have a choice. It sucks cos i worked so hard over the 4 years to maintain high grades for my degree. I would like to emigrate to work at a job im qualified at, but there doesn't seem to be much options there and I also need money for that. I would also like to do a masters this september, but again I need money, and parents wont fund me cos they see extra college as a 'waste of time'. What do i do? And before you say it, I have worked since I was 16 in low paid, horrible jobs and I don't want to go back to that, and it wont help with my SA or self esteem issues.


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