# Has anyone found that going out alone helped them?



## buttercup86 (Jul 8, 2011)

One of my problems is that when I go out with people I know who are aware of my anxiety, I feel that they are watching me. Not in a bad way - just to make sure I'm doing ok, but it makes me more self-conscious. I've thought about going out alone to try to break out of my shell a little bit, but I was never naturally very social even before I became this bad. So I never really find myself *wanting* to go out. But maybe if someone else here told me that going out alone worked for them ... :O)


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## Ashley1990 (Aug 27, 2011)

I feel a little same as u told..but whenever I m tensed I just prefer walking alone,aimlessly..it makes me feel myself,once I walked 3 km alone n felt good..


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Deciding to go to a bar alone one Friday night about 7 months ago changed my life. I was just so sick and tired of being lonely so I figured I would just chuck my anxiety out the window and go for it. Of course, my anxiety returned rather quickly once I arrived, but I pushed through it and got a girl's number then and there!

It wasn't until about a month later that I ended up getting a girlfriend by going out alone again and again...but that first step was the catalyst that led to a big confidence boost and my life changing for the better.

I don't know if you're necessarily searching for someone or just trying to have a good time, but either way the point is you never know what will happen out there...and it sure beats sitting at home doing nothing.


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## dlennr (Jul 6, 2007)

I have always had trouble going anywhere alone, but I usually feel better after I do. I had an experience recently that was profound. I drove myself to a conference 45 min. away from where I live. I have felt much stronger for having done that. For the first time in my life, I feel like I really can conquer these anxiety problems.


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## recovery122 (Jan 16, 2011)

rymo said:


> Deciding to go to a bar alone one Friday night about 7 months ago changed my life. I was just so sick and tired of being lonely so I figured I would just chuck my anxiety out the window and go for it. Of course, my anxiety returned rather quickly once I arrived, but I pushed through it and got a girl's number then and there!
> 
> It wasn't until about a month later that I ended up getting a girlfriend by going out alone again and again...but that first step was the catalyst that led to a big confidence boost and my life changing for the better.
> 
> I don't know if you're necessarily searching for someone or just trying to have a good time, but either way the point is you never know what will happen out there...and it sure beats sitting at home doing nothing.


That's cool man.
Did you go to a small bar or a club?


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

recovery122:1059359851 said:


> That's cool man.
> Did you go to a small bar or a club?


Just a bar...not a hole in the wall but nothing too fancy either. A club is waaay too loud to talk to girls at


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## BlazingLazer (Jul 16, 2011)

I go out alone all the time. It hasn't helped me a HUGE deal, but it definitely helps for the most part. I still get anxious in some instances (especially when I feel that I'm the only one by myself), but I'm able to force myself through it. In fact, I went out last weekend alone and I had virtually no anxiety and was talking to a nice variety of people.

I used to go out more with friends, work buddies, and when I was with my girlfriend, her too. But my contact is more limited now. I see some people once in a great while. They probably just don't have time for me. But what am I supposed to do? Just stay home becuase I have no one to go with? Hah, if that were the case I'd be home alone 98% of the time. So I just go out. And quite often too I might add. I can have my fair share of fun when I'm out, so I think I'm not doing too bad.

Not much has happened as far as making friends (although I've been lately meeting up with some people for a little while), and I've had some slight luck as far as getting a girl's number to meet up. But I still have hope. I just have to continue putting myself out there.

So yeah, go out and do it. Forget any perceived stigmas and the like. Let us know how it goes.


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## Cashew (May 30, 2010)

I use to be scared of going to the mall by myself, as a young teenage girl, but now I prefer it. No need to worry about what your friends think of your preferences when they are not there :yes


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## hannahjoy (Oct 6, 2011)

I enjoy going out alone. Sometimes I do become self conscious because I wonder what people are thinking about me. Are they wondering why if I don't have any friends, etc.? But in the end, I am less anxious, most of the time, when I am out alone


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## mysterioussoul (Jul 17, 2010)

going out alone is empowering, you're proving to yourself that you can do it. i've haven't been anywhere out by myself except for shopping and i recently went to the movies by myself and i enjoyed it. i didn't feel anxious because it was on a weekday afternoon and there weren't a lot of people. i want to go again and again.


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## bluepelican (Nov 7, 2009)

I used to be terrified of going to bars alone. I started doing it earlier this year and was very uncomfortable at first. Now I do it all the time and don't even think about it. It's actually kind of funny because there's a lot of non-SA people that won't do it.


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## fleur de lis (Oct 10, 2011)

Thats a really interesting idea, I reckon if you can manage it, go for it! I found that doing many things alone was very painful at the peak of my SA. I had negative thoughts that everyone had noticed me and thought I had no friends. Over the years I have taken small steps to work on this and gradually build it up and my repetoire now includes being able to go to busy cafes alone, sit in a quiet pub on a weekday, walk in the park, cinema (quite days!) and a little holiday alone. I continue to practise this and try out new places with the aim that one day it will just be completely second nature to me and SA will no longer be a barrier!


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