# Just got back from an awesome night...



## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

My first-ever date tonight went awesome!

My mother drove me to the park in the town where she lives and we met up and walked around the park for a bit. Then we went to the local poutinery and got some awesome food. Then we went to a car show just outside of town and we walked around there and chatted about car stuff until we were tired. She gave me a hug when we first saw each other and when I was about to leave. My mother did the driving and some of the initial chatting. I paid for the food.

When I came home I let her know that I had a wonderful night. She did too. I also let her know that we should meet up again when our schedules allow... She told me she would love that.

"sigh" Her voice is adorable. :mushy


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## TheInvisibleHand (Sep 5, 2015)

That's amazing !


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## SamanthaStrange (Jan 13, 2015)

:yay Congrats!


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## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

@iAmCodeMonkey

That's awesome mate.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Wow, that's great to hear, man.


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## riverbird (Mar 30, 2016)

That's awesome! Congrats!


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

My boy is becoming a man .


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## Eternal Solitude (Jun 11, 2017)

It's great when good things happen to good people!

I'm so happy for you 

You're becoming a Casanova.










Keep up the good work!


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## BlackHorse (Jun 4, 2017)

Nice one man!


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Kevin001 said:


> My boy is becoming a man .


I have more chest hair than you boi! I am already a man. :lol :haha


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Great to hear!


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## a degree of freedom (Sep 28, 2011)

That's awesome


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## HiddenFathoms (Jul 18, 2017)

.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I have more chest hair than you boi! I am already a man. :lol :haha


Haha. Finally talking and hanging out with women, I'm proud. :grin2:


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

HiddenFathoms said:


> this is so happifying!! congrats. it's so cool you are communicating well already.


Thanks very much.

:grin2:



Kevin001 said:


> Haha. Finally talking and hanging out with women, I'm proud. :grin2:


Haha, thanks dude.

>


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## MadnessVertigo (Sep 26, 2016)

Congrats.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)




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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

TheWelshOne said:


>


:lol


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## Gothic Cupcakes (Mar 24, 2015)

Ahh, nice one dude! 

Glad to see you're happy, I wish you the best of the luck!


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## LonelyLurker (Sep 24, 2016)

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> My first-ever date tonight went awesome!
> 
> My mother drove me to the park in the town where she lives and we met up and walked around the park for a bit. Then we went to the local poutinery and got some awesome food. Then we went to a car show just outside of town and we walked around there and chatted about car stuff until we were tired. She gave me a hug when we first saw each other and when I was about to leave. My mother did the driving and some of the initial chatting. I paid for the food.
> 
> ...


I'm loving all the people getting proven wrong on here. :smile2:

You didn't see this coming did you? And yet, here we are.

Remember that when you think about your future.

Pay attention people, pay attention (you know if this applies to you ).


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## Gothic Cupcakes (Mar 24, 2015)

LonelyLurker said:


> I'm loving all the people getting proven wrong on here. :smile2:
> 
> You didn't see this coming did you? And yet, here we are.
> 
> ...












:lol yeah it's just that sometimes it REALLY does feel like nothing good is ever going to happen. *hopes hopes hopes*


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## LonelyLurker (Sep 24, 2016)

Gothic Cupcakes said:


> :lol yeah it's just that sometimes it REALLY does feel like nothing good is ever going to happen. *hopes hopes hopes*


I know that feeling, all we can do is remind ourselves that we could be wrong and remain open to that possibility.


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## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

I'm glad you had an awesome night with your date, Monkey.


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## TryingMara (Mar 25, 2012)

So happy for you!! Just awesome


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## discoveryother (Sep 18, 2016)

congrats. 

i'm bitterly envious of you


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## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

I actually don't have a good feeling about this.


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## LonelyLurker (Sep 24, 2016)

Qolselanu said:


> I actually don't have a good feeling about this.


Come on man, don't be that guy.

If you think he's overlooking something then point out what, no need to plant seeds of doubt (with nothing to actually consider or think about) and then run away.

You're better than that.


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## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

LonelyLurker said:


> Come on man, don't be that guy.
> 
> If you think he's overlooking something then point out what, no need to plant seeds of doubt (with nothing to actually consider or think about) and then run away.
> 
> You're better than that.


Borderline personality disorder. AFAIK IACM hasn't posted any further details so this is a pure hunch on my part.


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## LonelyLurker (Sep 24, 2016)

Qolselanu said:


> Borderline personality disorder. AFAIK IACM hasn't posted any further details so this is a pure hunch on my part.


OK, there must be other threads.

Well, certain things may make it difficult but not necessarily impossible, even if it doesn't work out it will have proved that the initial stages are possible and that he could therefore find them again.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Qolselanu said:


> Borderline personality disorder. AFAIK IACM hasn't posted any further details so this is a pure hunch on my part.


It is not a hunch. She has that, and a few other invisible disabilities that she deals with.

We have been talking since July 15th when she sent me a message on OkCupid. We were very open and honest about our issues during those initial talks and I asked specifically about this later on when we added each other to Facebook. She told me that she has a handle on this issue and can manage it just fine. I obviously met her in person already and she seems like a nice woman with no ulterior motives as far as I can see.

But thank you very much for making me nervous and doubtful about all this now. Nice. Real nice. :sigh


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## LonelyLurker (Sep 24, 2016)

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> It is not a hunch. She has that, and a few other invisible disabilities that she deals with.
> 
> We have been talking since July 15th when she sent me a message on OkCupid. We were very open and honest about our issues during those initial talks and I asked specifically about this later on when we added each other to Facebook. She told me that she has a handle on this issue and can manage it just fine. I obviously met her in person already and she seems like a nice woman with no ulterior motives as far as I can see.
> 
> But thank you very much for making me nervous and doubtful about all this now. Nice. Real nice. :sigh


You can't know the future IACM, what you can know is that you've met and you've enjoyed each other's company. So keep on trying to meet and enjoy each other's company and see where that takes you.

Will there be issues at some point, yes, how do I know? Because you're both humans, take them as they come and try not to worry abouat what might be, only what is.

Good luck.:smile2:


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## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> But thank you very much for making me nervous and doubtful about all this now. Nice. Real nice. :sigh


Something is wrong if my opinion of this is what's making you nervous, rather than her having BPD.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I obviously met her in person already and _she seems like a nice woman with no ulterior motives as far as I can see_.


This SOP for someone with BPD.



LonelyLurker said:


> You can't know the future IACM, what you can know is that you've met and you've enjoyed each other's company. So keep on trying to meet and enjoy each other's company and see where that takes you.


I do agree with this. At the same time being on guard is a must.


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## Lohikaarme (Aug 28, 2013)

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> It is not a hunch. She has that, and a few other invisible disabilities that she deals with.
> 
> We have been talking since July 15th when she sent me a message on OkCupid. We were very open and honest about our issues during those initial talks and I asked specifically about this later on when we added each other to Facebook. She told me that she has a handle on this issue and can manage it just fine. I obviously met her in person already and she seems like a nice woman with no ulterior motives as far as I can see.
> 
> But thank you very much for making me nervous and doubtful about all this now. Nice. Real nice. :sigh


 @LonelyLurker & @Qolselanu are both in the right here. I don't think it's a smart idea to blindly rush into anything neither to be on your guard all the time which can ultimately have the effect of rendering you unable to fully experience any potential romantic encounter ever. Keep meeting up with her and enjoy your time together, albeit I'd suggest reserving a sliver of caution if worse comes to worst (it might probably never happen but who knows?). There's no way to predict the future so just focus on enjoying the now


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

@Lohikaarme @LonelyLurker @Qolselanu

Thank you very much for the replies. I WILL be on my guard, don't you worry.


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## Entrensik (Apr 25, 2014)

Congrats 🎉 man. This post just made me hungry lol i actually looked up what a poutinerie is and im guessing that's a Canadian thing because I had never heard of that. A very inspirational post, good luck to you💕.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Entrensik said:


> Congrats &#127881; man. This post just made me hungry lol i actually looked up what a poutinerie is and im guessing that's a Canadian thing because I had never heard of that. A very inspirational post, good luck to you&#128149;.


I need to be on my guard*, but thank you.

*This is why: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Hannig2.html


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## RagnarLothbrok (Dec 16, 2016)

Definitely be on your guard, don't catch feelings for her too early. I hope this girl is in contact with a therapist who knows about BPD. I only wish you the best, sounds like you had a fun time- hope you can build on that.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

RagnarLothbrok said:


> Definitely be on your guard, don't catch feelings for her too early. I hope this girl is in contact with a therapist who knows about BPD. I only wish you the best, sounds like you had a fun time- hope you can build on that.


Thank you.


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## Aultri (Aug 5, 2017)

Well done.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

I just had a chat with my mother about this. We both decided that she _might_ not be the girlfriend for me after all, seeing as she lives on disability assistance like I do, and she needs help for her other issues too (chrons, fibromyalgia, and pericarditis). She would make a great friend, though.

We shall see. Wish me luck anyways.


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## Entrensik (Apr 25, 2014)

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I need to be on my guard*, but thank you.
> 
> *This is why: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Hannig2.html


I read the whole article and all I can say is wow. But i guess it's just like everything else in life, enjoy the good moments and push through the bad ones.


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## persona non grata (Jul 13, 2011)

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I just had a chat with my mother about this. We both decided that she _might_ not be the girlfriend for me after all, seeing as she lives on disability assistance like I do, and she needs help for her other issues too (chrons, fibromyalgia, and pericarditis). She would make a great friend, though.
> 
> We shall see. Wish me luck anyways.


I understand that opinions of people you love matter to you, but ultimately you're the only person who is going to experience the world you're building around yourself here. You're the only one who is going to to experience your loneliness and your happiness, not your mom, so you need to put your own feelings first.

I know that you're framing this like it's a thing you're mutually concluding, but it's impossible to see it that way in the context of the mountain of posts you've made about how much you like this girl.

The fact that you're on disability should make you more understanding, not less, of the fact that she is too. It's something that any potential partner you have will need to overlook in you, so it's not fair to treat it as an inherent disqualifier. If she had a specific disorder that you just couldn't cope with that would be one thing, but that's not the impression I get based on what you're describing here.

If you like her, I think you should give it a shot.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

persona non grata said:


> I understand that opinions of people you love matter to you, but ultimately you're the only person who is going to experience the world you're building around yourself here. You're the only one is going to to experience your loneliness and your happiness, not your mom, so you need to put your own feelings first.
> 
> I know that you're framing this like it's a thing you're mutually concluding, but it's impossible to see it that way in the context of the mountain of posts you've made about how much you like this girl.
> 
> ...


Thank you. This is harder than I thought it would be though.


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## LonelyLurker (Sep 24, 2016)

persona non grata said:


> I understand that opinions of people you love matter to you, but ultimately you're the only person who is going to experience the world you're building around yourself here. You're the only one who is going to to experience your loneliness and your happiness, not your mom, so you need to put your own feelings first.
> 
> I know that you're framing this like it's a thing you're mutually concluding, but it's impossible to see it that way in the context of the mountain of posts you've made about how much you like this girl.
> 
> ...


I agree, don't sacrifice what you *actually* have now because of what you *might* end up with in the future.

Sometimes fighting through adversity is what proves how valuable something really is to you.

Good luck.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

LonelyLurker said:


> I agree, don't sacrifice what you *actually* have now because of what you *might* end up with in the future.
> 
> Sometimes fighting through adversity is what proves how valuable something really is to you.
> 
> Good luck.


Thanks guys.


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## LonelyLurker (Sep 24, 2016)

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Thanks guys.


You're welcome.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I just had a chat with my mother about this. We both decided that she _might_ not be the girlfriend for me after all, seeing as she lives on disability assistance like I do, and she needs help for her other issues too (chrons, fibromyalgia, and pericarditis). She would make a great friend, though.
> 
> We shall see. Wish me luck anyways.


Best of luck. :squeeze


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Kevin001 said:


> Best of luck. :squeeze


Thanks. I am willing to make it work with her regardless I think.


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## TheInvisibleHand (Sep 5, 2015)

Better luck next time champ.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

UPDATE: It turns out I was letting my emotions get the better of me after all for a little bit. I have a nasty habit of doing that when my brain is tired...

She jus told me that she rather enjoys my company and wants to make it work even after she moves.

The feeling is mutual on my end as well. Wish me luck.


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## Gondal (Aug 31, 2017)

Good job


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