# Guys, would you date an obese chick?



## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

*Why You Should Lose Weight If You're Obese*

- You'll look better

- You will increase your dating options

- You'll feel better

- Your sex drive will increase

- It will help prevent health problems in the future

So get off your lazy asss and head to the gym today!

And if this thread offends you by any means. Here's a link to the funniest video ever! Please turn up full volume and remove your headphones.


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## StephCurry (Jan 11, 2016)

Absolutely. If she liked me and I liked her, then why the **** not.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

The great thing about guys willing to date obese chicks is that they don't have much competition because everyone else is going for the skinnier girls.


The thing with the stereotypically attractive women is that they have a lot of competition and assuming you have 0 skillz with women, you realistically don't stand a chance. But if you go for a girl who may not be stereotypically attractive and few are willing to take a chance on her, you dont have much competition and you may get yourself a Tom Brady; a 6th round draft steal. All it takes is the ability to see what others cannot see and to take the opportunity.


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

I'd be a hypocrite if I wouldn't.


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## TheGarlicRouter (Jan 13, 2016)

Of course, when you're as ugly as people like me, personality is all that matters.


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## andretti (Jan 2, 2016)

would you guys date an ugly obese girl? 


personally ive never been with a big girl. I see some that look good sometimes tho so i wouldnt be opposed to it depending on how she looks.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

No, I'm not interested in someone incapable of looking after themselves and seemingly not caring about their health. It's also unattractive.


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## Srylance (Apr 20, 2014)

Chubby is fine, but obese no. I'm a really skinny guy, it would be so wrong. I know love is unconditional as they say, but fat is my biggest turn off.


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## TheGarlicRouter (Jan 13, 2016)

AussiePea said:


> No, I'm not interested in someone incapable of looking after themselves and seemingly not caring about their health. It's also unattractive.


That's kind of hypocritical, giving you have Social Anxiety, some obese people can't help being obese just like we can't help having Social Anxiety.


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

AussiePea said:


> No, I'm not interested in someone incapable of looking after themselves and seemingly not caring about their health. It's also unattractive.


The unattractive part is subjective, and personally I actually have a bit of extra respect for someone that's not willing to give in to the massive peer pressure to ''look pretty''. At least it shows they're not willing to be shamed into changing their habits, which counts for something to me.


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## GointoNatureAndthinkless (Jan 14, 2016)

Yes I would but it depends how obese, if things were to get intimate would that be a problem getting close to the person?

You have to reverse the question around to yourself also, would you date an overweight guy?

For the longest time I wanted a thin girlfriend but I was chubby, so I had expectations for others but didn't meet those expectations myself.


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## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

The needle would have to be barely registering on the obesity scale. I prefer slightly overweight to thin, but obese is so unhealthy. And she'd have to be the type that wants to lose weight, not a fat and proud type of person. I couldn't see a future with someone that is going to be that heavy throughout their life.


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

hell no


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

I don't think I would. I certainly don't put as much importance on physical appearance as the average dude, but I think the lack of physical attraction I would feel in that situation would completely blind me to any attractive characteristics I might see. It's just not 'my type'.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

TheGarlicRouter said:


> That's kind of hypocritical, giving you have Social Anxiety, some obese people can't help being obese just like we can't help having Social Anxiety.


Ridiculous comparison. There are obese people who have an illness which makes weight gain an issue however they are the vast minority.



> The unattractive part is subjective, and personally I actually have a bit of extra respect for someone that's not willing to give in to the massive peer pressure to ''look pretty''. At least it shows they're not willing to be shamed into changing their habits, which counts for something to me.


Yes, a pat on the back for those who give the finger to society without second thought for their health and well being, that will show those damn conformists.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

I have a better question. What do you consider "obese". People seem to be all over the board with this one. I've seen people talking about women being obese because they're 5' 6" and 135 pounds. That's not obese in my book.

Obesity is like 5' 6" and anything over 170, I would think. Up to that point, yes. After that? Just not my thing. Some guys do like it though and to each their own.


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

WillYouStopDave said:


> I have a better question. What do you consider "obese". People seem to be all over the board with this one. I've seen people talking about women being obese because they're 5' 6" and 135 pounds. That's not obese in my book.
> 
> Obesity is like 5' 6" and anything over 170, I would think. Up to that point, yes. After that? Just not my thing. Some guys do like it though and to each their own.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

If she's attractive, yeah. I'm a big guy and I've liked a lot of big girls over the years. But there is a limit to how big I like em lol I wouldn't say obese is a preference...but a bigger girl is a preference personally.

Also I don't know what counts as obese because of my history with weight problems I have a very misguided view on what is considered "fat" judging from what people have told me.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

M0rbid said:


>


 Actually, she's not half bad. Some people carry it better too. I'm not sure how the sex thing would work out with someone that size but I could be attracted to her I think.


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## Kovu (Jun 18, 2013)

I'm ugly but no I wouldn't. I atleast try to fix what I can by working out and keeping in shape.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

TheGarlicRouter said:


> That's kind of hypocritical, giving you have Social Anxiety, some obese people can't help being obese just like we can't help having Social Anxiety.


 I don't think he knows that some obese people have thyroid problems.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

That's not really what i'm into sorry. I mean fat up to a certain extent is fine but if you're obese, I just don't find that attractive at all. You can make up for being fat by having a pretty face but it's hard to make up for being obese.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

Obesity is a complex problem, like anxiety. Two obese people don't have the same problem just because they both overeat. Bodies differ, finances differ, family dynamics differ, psychological factors differ. It's simplistic to reduce obesity to a single factor. I don't think people should expect people to "solve" their obesity any easier than they "solve" their anxiety. Many will do it easily, many will require a significant struggle, and many will never do it. They all deserve our compassion.

But that doesn't mean people should feel ashamed of their preferences. I'm not attracted to obese people and I probably wouldn't date one. But it's not because I think overweight people are bad people with no self-control, it's just a physical thing. But I'm not ruling out the possibility that it could happen. I let my body decide for me. I don't date according to policy.


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## bobbythegr8 (Apr 1, 2013)

lol


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## someone123 (Jan 12, 2016)

As long as I find her attractive and she has a great personality. (as it goes for any slim girl I'd meet.)

My gf has gained a few pounds recently...does that make me love her any less? No. Nor do i find her less attractive. In fact, I enjoy the big boobs that come with the package lol.

There is a thing though, where you're a bit worried about possible health problems that may come in the near future.


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## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

Farideh said:


> I don't think he knows that some obese people have thyroid problems.


A lot of overweight people blame their thyroid even if they've never had a TSH levels test or haven't been diagnosed with hypothyroidism.

I was obese growing up, maybe even morbidly obese. I lost the fat through a couple years of hard painful exercise and eating healthy. I definitely have a slow metabolism because I can put on 5 pounds in a week easy and still manage to be hungry. After the holidays I packed on several pounds and look fat, but that's from being lazy and overeating. I can only blame myself for gaining weight.

Of course there are people out there that have legitimate thyroid problems and are stuck with their weight and take meds just to prevent the weight gain from getting out of control. My sympathy to those people.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Farideh said:


> I don't think he knows that some obese people have thyroid problems.


My GF suffers from PCOS & Hyperthyroidism and used to be quite overweight, however after research and visiting her doctor has now concentrated on her lifestyle and falls within a healthy BMI. So yeah, I know a thing or two about thyroid issues and also know that although for some it's possibly going to make weight loss extremely difficult, but it's still quite possible. I also know that less than 10% of the population suffers thyroid conditions while over 50% are considered obese.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

No, I don't find them attractive at all. Might as well be a fat GUY for all the interest I have in them. It isn't really something you can fake either.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

No. It's like trying to listen to a genre of music I don't like. Who the **** does that?


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## Emar (Jan 11, 2016)

I got so interested in these topic and all the answers were somewhat I would expect. 

My opinion is: Depends on how he/she makes you feel. There has to be a connection. Imagine a overweight girl. She is smart. She dresses nice. She smells good. She makes you feel confortable and laugh.... Would you not date her because she is overweight? 

I had a relationship with a man some years ago that my "friends" told me was the ugliest thing they have ever seen... He had huge eyes like buccemi, he was thin and freakshly tall and I adored him. I tought he was beautiful. He was inteligent (above average), he treated me nice, he made me laugh, we adored being together and he respected my need to be alone sometimes. Would I not date him because he lacked beauty in the normal standards...? 

Lasted 3 years and I still want him to be happy despite not working out for us. 

The key is : connection. The rest... is decor.


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## DistraughtOwl (Mar 1, 2014)

Overweight? It depends. Obese? Hell no.


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## NerdlySquared (Jul 18, 2015)

There are so many things that are so much more important to me than weight. Empathy, warmth, kindness, affectionate, intelligence, somone who does not enjoy conflict. Most of all someone who makes me feel wanted or needed, listened to and cared for. Compared to that, weight is such a small blip on the radar, you don't date an image, you date a person


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## Nernef (Nov 21, 2015)

No way and most women on here who think I'm shallow wouldn't want a guy they found fat/ugly either, or want a bald old guy ect.


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## Emar (Jan 11, 2016)

NerdlySquared said:


> There are so many things that are so much more important to me than weight. Empathy, warmth, kindness, affectionate, intelligence, somone who does not enjoy conflict. Most of all someone who makes me feel wanted or needed, listened to and cared for. Compared to that, weight is such a small blip on the radar, you don't date an image, you date a person


:clap

" you don't date an image, you date a person" I love that!


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Idk. I guess it depends. Is she making an effort to get fit? Do we click otherwise?


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## NerdlySquared (Jul 18, 2015)

Emar said:


> :clap
> 
> " you don't date an image, you date a person" I love that!


As you say Emar, the rest is just decor


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## Emar (Jan 11, 2016)

NerdlySquared said:


> As you say Emar, the rest is just decor


:nerd: Exactly!


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

I couldn't go for very obese girls. Especially not the proud ones who wear shirts like fat and proud, or i'm in love with snacks, or diets are for skinny chicks.

That said, I've been with a few girls who were considered big and ugly. They were just great girls to be around and loved me for who i was. Couldn't ask for more really.


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## Emar (Jan 11, 2016)

Scrub-Zero said:


> I couldn't go for very obese girls. Especially not the proud ones who wear shirts like fat and proud, or i'm in love with snacks, or diets are for skinny chicks.
> 
> That said, I've been with a few girls who were considered big and ugly. They were just great girls to be around and loved me for who i was. Couldn't ask for more really.


Well, that just shows poor taste (wearing clothes like that).... Not really related to their weight but for the arrogance.


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## someone123 (Jan 12, 2016)

Emar said:


> :nerd: Exactly!


I'm with you guys on this. :smile2:

Glad to see not everyone on this thread is so closed minded.


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## Emar (Jan 11, 2016)

someone123 said:


> I'm with you guys on this. :smile2:
> 
> Glad to see not everyone on this thread is so closed minded.


:squeeze


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

WillYouStopDave said:


> I have a better question. What do you consider "obese". People seem to be all over the board with this one. I've seen people talking about women being obese because they're 5' 6" and 135 pounds. That's not obese in my book.
> 
> Obesity is like 5' 6" and anything over 170, I would think. Up to that point, yes. After that? Just not my thing. Some guys do like it though and to each their own.


CDC gived the official definition of obese - a BMI of 30 or above.

*BMI*
*Weight Status* 
Below 18.5 = Underweight
18.5 - 24.9= Normal or Healthy Weight 
25.0 - 29.9 = Overweight 
30.0 + = Obese
5'6" at 170 is a BMI of 27.4 - only overweight. Obese is really really fat.


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

I agree with whoever says a person's personality can make them beautiful to you. It can work miracles. It's not perfect though. So maybe don't insult fat ppl but also don't shame ppl for not being attracted to them. Jeepers.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Just not my thing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## regimes (Aug 24, 2011)

why does this have to be about fat _women_? couldn't you have made it about dating fat _people_?


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## Mycenaean (Jan 11, 2016)

I would date any chick, I'm desperate for a relationship...


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

regimes said:


> why does this have to be about fat _women_? couldn't you have made it about dating fat _people_?


He keeps posting about overweight women I think he feels bad and want to assuage his guilt or something.


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## Shawn81 (Jul 9, 2014)

gopherinferno said:


> So maybe don't insult fat ppl but also don't shame ppl for not being attracted to them.


This about sums up my feelings about the topic.


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## OutsideR1 (Mar 13, 2014)

Damn it, voted yes, mean to say no.


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## WrongDoers (Jan 1, 2016)

someone123 said:


> I'm with you guys on this. :smile2:
> 
> Glad to see not everyone on this thread is so closed minded.


I agree with the overall sentiment that there is so much more that goes into attraction than looks. With that being said, I don't think it's fair to say someone is closed-minded simply because they're not willing to date someone they don't find physically attractive. To me, "dating" eventually means being intimate, and if I'm going to be intimate with someone there needs to be at least a little bit of physical attraction. To each their own of course.

I wouldn't date someone I wasn't physically attracted to. That's not fair to either person in the relationship. I certainly wouldn't want anyone to date me if they didn't find me at least somewhat physically attractive. And for what it's worth, what I find physically attractive doesn't always meet the same criteria as what society tends to.

I realize I'm kind of dodging the OPs question. I've been attracted to women who have been both overweight and underweight, but not obese. That could change of course, I'd never rule it out.


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## Shawn81 (Jul 9, 2014)

^ And that expands on my thoughts perfectly.


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

gopherinferno said:


> I agree with whoever says a person's personality can make them beautiful to you. It can work miracles. It's not perfect though. So maybe don't insult fat ppl but also don't shame ppl for not being attracted to them. Jeepers.


Sigh, yeah, I hate threads like this http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...le-against-these-judgmental-would-you-1693889

I can't believe I never got a response to that.
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...le-against-these-judgmental-would-you-1693889


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## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

These kinds of threads make me very uncomfortable.

I'm not obese myself, but I have other imperfections. I'm not perfect. Neither is anyone else.

Might as well ask people would you date someone who is not perfect and be done with it. :serious:


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

I kind of worried saying 'no I wouldn't' but eh, was just being honest. Not everybody wants to date everybody.

Could I stay with a woman who became obese while I was dating her? Absolutely, yeah. (Though I would HIGHLY encourage her to do something about it since it is one of the worst things you can do to your health). By that time we would have built a deep connection and a solid foundation together so the big concern about physical attributes would be a thing of the past.

As a single dude looking for women to date, however, I will probably skip over an obese girl. Like I highly doubt I would approach her to find out what positive attributes she'd have. Just not my thang. I wouldn't make fun of them behind their back or deny them friendship, the physical attraction just wouldn't be there to have a romantic relationship.


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

Would you date dark horse?


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## Maverick34 (Feb 18, 2013)

I'm really not picky, but obese is not my preference so I'd have to say no. Thick, chubby & even BBW is fine. However if I've already fallen for her or we're in a relationship already, & she becomes obese, I will stay with her because she's still the same beautiful person/soul on the inside


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## Cmasch (Jan 24, 2015)

If it's just some extra weight it's fine. In fact I like curvy. If they are obese, which is beyond just being overweight by a large amount, then I wouldn't date them . If someone has completely let themselves go, I kind of equate it to self respect. I want to know the person cares about their health, and hasn't given up on themselves.


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## Puppet Master (Jan 1, 2012)

No way in hell.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

scarpia said:


> CDC gived the official definition of obese - a BMI of 30 or above.
> 
> *BMI*
> *Weight Status*
> ...


 Yeah but I don't care what they think. If they say so and my mind doesn't agree, they're wong.

EDIT - And besides "obese" is a clinical word. It has no place in a normal conversation. Especially not one about whether someone is attractive.

Some guy - "Well, I'm not even gonna look at her because she's obese"

Me - "Well just go sit on a pineapple and see if I care"


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

gopherinferno said:


> I agree with whoever says a person's personality can make them beautiful to you. It can work miracles. It's not perfect though. So maybe don't insult fat ppl but also don't shame ppl for not being attracted to them. Jeepers.


 I saw a Jeep the other day. I didn't know they still make them.


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

Would have to depend on the girl we're talking about.


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## Mur (Jan 20, 2011)

Even though other guys will give you a lot of **** for it and relentlessly shame you, sure.


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## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

someone123 said:


> I'm with you guys on this. :smile2:
> 
> Glad to see not everyone on this thread is so closed minded.


It's not really an issue of closed mindedness because obesity is known to be unhealthy and plenty of people want a fit partner. There are many reasons why someone would want to pass on an overweight person.

Some reasons I see used regularly are about the individual's mental strength to resist temptation, having sex, medical conditions, hygiene. A large person may not have any of those problems above, but obesity is still a very risky condition on a person's health. And it's natural for people to seek healthy partners. Unfortunately for the large and lonely out there, the weight will often be hinder to them to find a partner.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

There is definitely too big for my taste but I never wanted a super fit girl. I hate dieting, working out, counting calories, watching my weight and all that. I wish I had a naturally fast metabolism but sadly I got the crappy genes in my family so I've always been a big guy.

I remember with my ex that I was working out because she was working out. No way in hell would I watch her get all fit and sexy while I got fat and sloppy...f*** that. I hate my size and I hate myself so I know I MUST put in the work to keep in at least a decent shape. Something that if I slip up then I slip up fast.

I never wanted a fit girl because I feel like that's competition for me to keep working out all the time. I hate working out as much as I hate myself. I honestly think that if I'm single by 30 that I'm just going to eat myself to death since food is so delicious and I struggle with weight anyway.

After the break up with her I gained A LOT of weight in a matter of MONTHS. Since the new year I'm back to proper dieting which isn't too bad, but working out makes me want to kill myself again. Yeah I don't want a girl who's super obese but an overweight girl is ideal for me.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

So basically 65% of you would not date an obese girl. Good to know.


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

No because I enjoy staying fit and active and in all honestly obesity is repulsive to me. I would feel the same if I was really fat, it's undesirable and a problem health wise.

It's not something I can look past in someone I want to lust for. I want to rip their clothes off then talk because I like all of them. Not watch them have a heart attack taking their jeans off and talk to 911.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

I think we all have different visions of 'obese' too. It's a kind of relative term. Since I grew up around slim-trim people, my vision is probably a lot different than somebody who may have grown up with overweight parents/siblings/etc. 

I think everybody can agree though that nobody is talking like somebody who has a few extra pounds. I have and would gladly continue to date somebody who is heavier than what is presented on tv/film on a daily basis, as would anybody who has a grounded sense of reality. Majority of people aren't going to invite extra stress into their life...somebody who has or could develop serious health issues, would probably have a short life expectancy, and who might have serious limitations in their daily lives.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

no


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## someone123 (Jan 12, 2016)

McFly said:


> It's not really an issue of closed mindedness because obesity is known to be unhealthy and plenty of people want a fit partner. There are many reasons why someone would want to pass on an overweight person.
> 
> Some reasons I see used regularly are about the individual's mental strength to resist temptation, having sex, medical conditions, hygiene. A large person may not have any of those problems above, but obesity is still a very risky condition on a person's health. And it's natural for people to seek healthy partners. Unfortunately for the large and lonely out there, the weight will often be hinder to them to find a partner.


Yeah natural for people to seek healthy partners. Because we with a crippling disorder are entitled to it.

I see so many posts of guys complaining how they can never get a chick, how it's so hard to find one with SAD, but then come threads like this, where they're judging other people based on their own flaws. (flaws some people may not even be able to control. I know quite a few people who live a healthy lifestyle and are still very overweight due to medication or illness.)

I just don't get you guys. Wherever n the forums I go, you're either posting threads on how you can't get a girl, or making some sort of a poll on what would be an acceptable woman for you. And as it usually turns on, a lot of things are a deal breaker.

You're no catch okay? (Speaking in general) You have social anxiety, and for many woman (and man) out there, that would be a deal breaker. Why date someone who will mostly want you to spend time with them somewhere in private, rather then with someone more confident, who will enjoy taking you to diners, going to parties with you etc.

You're allowed to have your standerds sure, just don't keep complaining then while only fishing for the hot popular girls.


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## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

someone123 said:


> Yeah natural for people to seek healthy partners. Because we with a crippling disorder are entitled to it.
> 
> I see so many posts of guys complaining how they can never get a chick, how it's so hard to find one with SAD, but then come threads like this, where they're judging other people based on their own flaws. (flaws some people may not even be able to control. I know quite a few people who live a healthy lifestyle and are still very overweight due to medication or illness.)
> 
> ...


I have the same sentiment as you. People here with mental problems that also have high standards shouldn't complain about being single as a result of their high standards. Because having social anxiety and lack of relationship experience as an adult is a major flaw, and there are a lot of guys that are delusional when it comes to the type of partner they can attract especially when it comes to age and beauty. And I've come across plenty of women here that are the same way.

But I don't agree with you bringing up the word entitled. Weight after a certain point will be a concern for most people, socially anxious or not. And it is important to have some standards so that you don't end up with a person that isn't compatible.

People will pass over others that aren't physically appealing, you can't force or shame someone to be attracted to someone they are not.


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## apx24 (Jan 31, 2012)

Yeah. We could both motivate each other to lose weight.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

Everybody's got standards man. It's just that some people have unrealistic standards and ideals relative to their own worth in the dating world. For instance, my buddy who's short, fat, ugly, and high functioning autistic, if all he wanted were to date pretty girls, then he woudn't be able to because he has little value dating wise. I'm not saying this to sound mean, i'm just telling you about unrealistic standards. For guys like him who have little dating value, don't go for the women that every single man is chasing. 


Meanwhile someone like Taylor Swift who's very high in dating value, she can afford to have high standards. She can want a 6 ft tall redheaded black man who can sing and has a 8 inch cock, and all the bbc black guys who can sing would dye their hair red and show up to Taylor Swift's front door trying to sing to her. All I can imagine is one massive blow bang that follows.


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## Unicornlaserhorn (Jul 25, 2014)

I wouldn't care if they were actively taking care of the issue already and for a long while. Yes, I don't want to date someone who thinks its acceptable to just sit around and be fat without trying to be more healthy. There are too many of those people in America. Sorry, not interested. They'd have to be serious. So, none of your poll answers apply for that reason.


$0.02


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## lost wanderer (Dec 20, 2015)

It always depend on how much we are talking about. I'm attracted to big girls so what I consider normal for me would probably be obese for others. Though I have never dated anyone based on their looks alone.


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## Mur (Jan 20, 2011)

Betcha if obese women were perceived as being 10/10's by western cultures beauty standards, a lot of guys on here trashing obese women and talking down on them would be singing a different tune!


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

What if she thought I was a giant chicken drumstick an tried to eat me :afr


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## Rex87 (Jan 5, 2015)

I would and I have. I never discriminated on weight from I was a kid, I liked chubby and fat girls, just as I liked the slim girls. Pretty face and peronality the clicks with mine is all I need.


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## nothing else (Oct 27, 2013)

ScorchedEarth said:


> The unattractive part is subjective, and personally* I actually have a bit of extra respect for someone that's not willing to give in to the massive peer pressure to ''look pretty''*. At least it shows they're not willing to be shamed into changing their habits, which counts for something to me.


Obesity has become an epidemic though... so much that there are more overweight people in America than there are skinny. So I wouldn't say overweight people are going against peer pressure, quite frankly they are going with the flow which is opposite to what you proposed.


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## marcel177 (Oct 7, 2012)

Nope. Neither obese nor underweight.


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

I don't think anybody has trashed anybody. It's unrealistic to assume everybody would date everybody else just to be fair and nice. Ridiculously high standards are annoying for sure...however, I think the MAIN issue people on here face is they don't get the chance to date ANYBODY. I'm sure a lot of people only have the images they find on the interwebz as their sole basis for what they'd want in a woman...which is obviously a poor reference. They probably don't speak enough with women to know what else a woman could give them besides physical stuff. They only can reference the feelings they get from looking at a picture of a hot chick online.

I don't have too many high standards. I don't think anybody is 'too anything' for me but I can't FORCE myself to be physically attracted to somebody who I don't find physically attractive. She could be the kindest person in the world and the perfect match for me on a emotional and intellectual level, but if there is NO physical attraction, I doubt I'd ever find out because I don't think I'd ever approach her for a date. Just the way it works.


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## lost wanderer (Dec 20, 2015)

Evo1114 said:


> I don't think anybody has trashed anybody. It's unrealistic to assume everybody would date everybody else just to be fair and nice. Ridiculously high standards are annoying for sure...however, I think the MAIN issue people on here face is they don't get the chance to date ANYBODY. I'm sure a lot of people only have the images they find on the interwebz as their sole basis for what they'd want in a woman...which is obviously a poor reference. They probably don't speak enough with women to know what else a woman could give them besides physical stuff. They only can reference the feelings they get from looking at a picture of a hot chick online.
> 
> I don't have too many high standards. I don't think anybody is 'too anything' for me but I can't FORCE myself to be physically attracted to somebody who I don't find physically attractive. She could be the kindest person in the world and the perfect match for me on a emotional and intellectual level, but if there is NO physical attraction, I doubt I'd ever find out because I don't think I'd ever approach her for a date. Just the way it works.


I agree. I used to thing only slim girls were sexy until a bigger girl hug me when I was looking sad. That was 13 years ago and I'll never forget it. Since then my love for bigger girls grew and it became both physical and mental.

Everyone is different. My best friend simply don't like big girls, as far as attraction goes, and it has nothing to do with society or not. He was very strict with his wife when she started gaining weight.


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## fonz (Oct 15, 2008)

No,not at all. Never found an overweight girl attractive


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

@AussiePea
Come on, people, MORE TO LOVE!

Love handles - something you can hang on tooooooooooooooo......................

That "fat and proud" stuff is a mess, though, as is the shaming.
I can understand some people being stout, but health is what we are after.

If you are a Jabba the Hut, work off that butt!


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## Nathan18 (Sep 15, 2009)

I think what I would generally call fat is bigger than what most person would. I prefer someone with a bit of meat on them, but if they were actually what I consider to be obese, no way. If they're that big, I wouldn't be attracted to them. I wouldn't date someone I'm not attracted to.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

Myself I wouldn't care if she was overweight. I don't know what would be considered obese though.


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## InFlames (Nov 20, 2015)

To get out of this epic drought yes. Not for long but just to get the ball rolling again. Hell I'd probably date a girl with a penis if she looked good.

It wouldn't happen anyway, 200 pound girls on Okcupid ignore me. All I can think is they are intimidated by me being in good shape or they are delusional and think a guy hotter and more desperate than me is going to come along(not gonna happen).


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## Glacielle (Jun 6, 2014)

xxDark Horse said:


> There appears to be a lot of guys who refuse to date obese girls but I want to know how many of you would be okay with it or not.
> 
> So the question is, would you date a obese girl?
> 
> And if this thread offends you by any means. Here's a link to the funniest video ever! Please turn up full volume and remove your headphones.


that video made my night


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

Should women be attracted to obese guys?


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

banned?


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## trencher (Jan 30, 2016)

fat chicks rule, man!

i have been with rail thin girls, fat rolls spilling over the top of their pants girls, and girls of different sizes and shapes in between. that previously mentioned fat girl (the one with the rolls) had, hands down, the prettiest lady parts i _*ever*_ laid eyes on, and that includes all the porn ive seen through the years (which is -- ashamedly, i swear -- quite a bit).

if you want to limit your life being narrow-minded about stuff, while having your life already affected by social anxiety, well thats your choice. me personally, id date fat chicks all day, night, and into the next week (obviously id have to like them as a human being first).

three cheers for fat bottomed girls! :clap:clap:clap


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## BHL 20 (Jul 25, 2014)

ScorchedEarth said:


> The unattractive part is subjective, and personally I actually have a bit of extra respect for someone that's not willing to give in to the massive peer pressure to ''look pretty''. At least it shows they're not willing to be shamed into changing their habits, which counts for something to me.


Social pressure =/= something bad. If society is pressuring people to do what's healthy for them, there's nothing wrong with that. And you can't really talk about "not giving in" since we're not talking about something that's easy to do like smoking or dressing a certain way, succumbing to this pressure here actually means putting in a lot of work. Losing weight requires a regular exercise habit and the ability to say "no" to yourself when you want to eat junk food.


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

*I started with fat ones in my social youth*

I compromise. I encouraged lots of exercise

Later I had some medium ones. Reachable orifices

Later I had one so slim I could throw in the air.
Astounded.

Then meeting a niece so slim I squeezed so hard, lift & spin to make her squeal.

Then a friend's girl doing washing up I had to grasp from behind who squealed. Such a great feeling

anorexia an advantage for a malleable frame


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

BHL 20 said:


> Social pressure =/= something bad. If society is pressuring people to do what's healthy for them, there's nothing wrong with that.


Yes it is, if the pressure is in the form of bullying and harassment. An occasional polite reminder of the health risks would be acceptable, but we all know that's not how it goes. Shockingly, bullying sadists don't particularly care what's good for you, they just want to get their jollies at your expense. Case in point, I don't see nearly as much shaming of smokers, even though the health effects have been proven beyond any doubt and even though it _can_ harm bystanders. But since there's no stigma to smoking, they don't make good targets.



BHL 20 said:


> And you can't really talk about "not giving in" since we're not talking about something that's easy to do like smoking or dressing a certain way, succumbing to this pressure here actually means putting in a lot of work. Losing weight requires a regular exercise habit and the ability to say "no" to yourself when you want to eat junk food.


See, this varies a lot from person to person. Not only do people have different metabolisms, but also different priorities, schedules and most importantly, different psychological circumstances. Some will find it very tough, and the discipline required may entail a massive _downgrade_ in quality of life for them, health benefits notwithstanding. Those urges don't necessarily go away for everyone, and it becomes a daily effort of being besieged by unending temptation to binge. You really can't demand that of someone, especially when you haven't been there yourself.

People should be able to live how they want, as long as it harms no one but themselves. That's what it comes down to.


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## BHL 20 (Jul 25, 2014)

ScorchedEarth said:


> Yes it is, if the pressure is in the form of bullying and harassment. An occasional polite reminder of the health risks would be acceptable, but we all know that's not how it goes.


I thought by social pressure you meant the media. I wouldn't count bullying as social pressure to do something. People who bully are just trying to make you feel bad, they don't necessarily want you to live up to the standards they're holding you to. People don't target an obese person because they believe obesity is bad, but because they feel that person is insecure.



ScorchedEarth said:


> Some will find it very tough, and the discipline required may entail a massive _downgrade_ in quality of life for them, health benefits notwithstanding. Those urges don't necessarily go away for everyone, and it becomes a daily effort of being besieged by unending temptation to binge. You really can't demand that of someone, especially when you haven't been there yourself.
> 
> People should be able to live how they want, as long as it harms no one but themselves. That's what it comes down to.


Lol at the downgrade in quality of life. Considering that obesity can cause many diseases later on in life, I think they're reducing they're total lifetime suffering. Suffering due to potentially deadly diseases is worse than the suffering due unfulfilled cravings, no? And that's not even considering the positive effects to their confidence after successfully implementing this change in their life.

They can live however they want, yes, I'm not saying they can't. But I was responding to your praising obese people for resisting social pressure. I can accept their choices but I don't see any reason to praise someone for taking the easier path.


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

BHL 20 said:


> Suffering due to potentially deadly diseases is worse than the suffering due unfulfilled cravings, no?


I wouldn't know, but I do know that living with an incessant, never-ending urge to relapse takes a heavy toll from daily life.



BHL 20 said:


> And that's not even considering the positive effects to their confidence after successfully implementing this change in their life.


I don't believe confidence is a benefit per se, and it's overrated. What confidence would that be, anyway? ''I managed to reach something that most people don't even have to think about, yay!'' And who is to say one can't be confident while overweight, anyway?


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## BHL 20 (Jul 25, 2014)

ScorchedEarth said:


> I wouldn't know, but I do know that living with an incessant, never-ending urge to relapse takes a heavy toll from daily life.
> 
> I don't believe confidence is a benefit per se, and it's overrated. What confidence would that be, anyway? ''I managed to reach something that most people don't even have to think about, yay!'' And who is to say one can't be confident while overweight, anyway?


You're very pessimistic about life. :serious:


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## Blawnka (Dec 12, 2011)

I definitely would not, obese is a little too far, I try to maintain a healthy lifestyle by eating healthy and working out regularly, and I imagine an obese partner would not be able to keep up.


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## CaptainPeanuts (Oct 29, 2015)

My personal preference is skinny woman. No offense to bigger woman at all. But I do suggest that guys that wouldn't normally date a bigger woman to give them a chance .


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## SouthWest (Dec 4, 2014)

On dating websites and apps when you first join there is usually a question asking if you would date someone who categorizes themselves as having 'a few extra pounds'. I ask myself if men are likely to say yes to overweight matches over women, vice versa or if it's evenly split.

Personally it wouldn't bother me to date a girl who is 20 pounds overweight, but if we're talking obese then I doubt I would consider it. Physical attraction isn't the be-all and end-all, but it is an important aspect of a romantic and sexual relationship. Human beings are superficial creatures looking for the best match we can get.


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## Kanova (Dec 17, 2012)

Nah, I feel like I have to vomit when I am at the pool and I see a big fat chick. I can't possibly imagine having to be all romantic with it and even see it naked, ugh.


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## johnw2358 (Feb 6, 2016)

No, but I'm not being a hyprocrite by saying that.

I'm not a big guy at all--5'10" and about 140 lbs. I try to eat reasonably well and I spend a lot of time doing active things. I don't think I'd have much in common with someone who isn't the same way.


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## keyboardsmahshfwa (Apr 22, 2014)

I'm surprised this thread lasted this long.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

If you're into big girls, OkCupid and Plenty of Fish has plenty. 

And she's only one message away ...


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## lonesomeboy (Aug 29, 2005)

sorry no.


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## Constellations (Sep 23, 2013)

Kanova said:


> Nah, I feel like I have to vomit when I am at the pool and I see a big fat chick. I can't possibly imagine having to be all romantic with it and even see it naked, ugh.


You are joking right? Or at least exaggerating, surely?


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## BJam (May 6, 2014)

Nope. I prefer curvy girls to skinny ones, and a few pounds overweight is fine (as long as it's really just a few), but I don't find obese women attractive, and it's a red flag for other things imo. If you can't get something as simple (and important) as your weight under control, it's likely that you don't have a lot of balance in your life, and/or your priorities are out of whack.. I say this as someone who was once obese(ish), but isn't anymore.


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## DarrellLicht (Mar 9, 2013)

I make an effort to be lean, so should she. But I can be pretty accommodating.. But not to the obese. It's absolute bull**** to ask this from me when nobody would 'take me as I am' or when some exercised some form of personal derision when I was carrying extra. Bull****. 

But I can affirm that there are dudes who are into heavy chicks. I remember how embarrassed my friend acted when we found plus size lingerie catalogs inside his sock drawer. He was lean and cut fwiw.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

bumpalicious


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## Lonely Hobbit (Aug 31, 2009)

Hell no!


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## discoveryother (Sep 18, 2016)

yeah I would. I have. saw a pretty one on the bus yesterday.


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## Sus y (Aug 30, 2017)

People posting in this thread can also contribute to this one: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f24/too-fat-too-skinny-2157018/ if they want to.


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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

Obese? I don't think so. I don't mind a little heavier depending on the body shape and the person, but "obese" just brings up some unattractive imagery.

Nothing is set in stone, though.


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## Tetragammon (Jun 2, 2015)

Technically it depends on circumstances and severity: I'd be okay with a slightly or even moderately obese woman if she wasn't all insecure and depressed about it. But that seems pretty much impossible these days. I'd be okay with it especially if she were also a gamer, an atheist and would generally "click" with me. Besides, society's definitions of "obese" can be pretty inaccurate these days, especially in terms of self-perception; lots of women with very healthy BMI's consider themselves "fat" when the clinical definition of the term simply does not apply. 

But generally I am sexually repulsed by obese women, especially morbidly obese women, and sexuality is too important to me to "compromise" on this point -- especially considering the crusade being fought against pornography these days. I know that some people will accuse me of hypocrisy, as I'm morbidly obese myself. But sexual attraction isn't something that can be forced or changed, any more than sexual orientation -- it is largely unconscious and involuntary, despite the fact that it is also heavily influenced by culture and societal norms. 

So call me superficial or shallow or whatever else, but at least I know and accept my boundaries and limitations. I am exclusively attracted to thin women and I can't change that, even if I know that my interest will never be reciprocated. But I would rather live and die alone than put myself into a situation that I'd eventually come to regret.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

bump


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## AlexTheGr8 (Sep 20, 2018)

xxDark Horse said:


> bump


Assuming the bump was made to keep the thread alive/relevant I might as well share my opinion here even though Im clearly gay, lol. So.. Im a very very slim person and I always was even though I always wanted some extra weight cause I'm an ectomorph (always hated that word btw). Im like 53 kgs and I wont usually pass 55 kgs before reverting back to 53 which seems to be my baseline. As such, I find fat in people actually pretty cute and to me cute is almost the same as beautiful, also I find beauty moreso in the face and not in the body, as well as confidence which is sexy. As for the actual question at hand, I almost exclusively dated guys who are in some regards twice my kgs or almost twice. Don't really know if its a mental thing but to me if someone is thin its almost like that person is sick, even though I know its usually the other way around. Honestly even if I was straight I would still go for the chubby/fat chick than a slim one. Anyway, those where my 50 cents in the matter lol.


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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

Never. Sorry, totally unattractive imo.


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## Great Expectations (Jan 25, 2018)

For the most part, I have no problems dating a girl overweight; it really depends how much overweight. At a certain point it can be an issue and unattractive.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Overweight? Sure. Obese? Probably not. I am of average weight myself. I just looked it up, I'd have to gain 50+ pounds to be considered obese. I'm not sure if I would date someone the same size and 50 pounds heavier.

Of course this is me assuming... but I already get disappointed when girls of average size don't want to hike with me or do any outdoor activity with me. I love to walk and also I can be quite speedy and physically competitive. I have one obese friend and I'm sad that I could never hike with her. She likes to walk anything more than that is a total no go because of her extra weight she has lots of joint pain at age 21. 

In the past, I tried to date a guy who was obese... I really liked his personality but I broke up with him because I wasn't physically attracted to him. Of course I think overweight girls are more attractive than overweight guys but it would probably be the same story. I'd rather reject them in the first place tbh then do what I did to that poor guy. He was so nice. So in my experience, even an attractive personality might not be enough in my case. I really wish I could look past it though.


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## Suchness (Aug 13, 2011)

Depends how overweight. Good thing would be that you could help them get in shape.


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## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

thread has gotten its point across. SAS does not need appearance comparisons or arguing and borderline body shaming, eating disorders often cause obesity and it is acknowledged an unhealthy state. Many users here struggle with eating disorders, body image issues and appearance anxiety.


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