# Made a terrible mistake- worried therapist found out



## Wrongplanet (Mar 26, 2013)

I'm a newbie here, 22 years old am im one who is very cautious to maintain appropriate boundaries with therapists/counsellors. I'd sought help from a Master's student for my anxiety and ASD issues. She was incredibly helpful and I'd say I progressed a lot in a very short period of time. It was a very professional relationship. My focus was always in getting better. But right before our time was over, I did something I should never have. As much as I was otherwise very aware to keep the therapist-client relationship strictly a therapeutic one- and the therapist was also very professional- But naturally, your therapist leaving feels in a way like losing sort of your best friend- even though it is a completely different sort of relationship which is 'you' centered and the therapists life shoudnt even come into it. I suppose I was just so grateful she helped me get that far, and I was a little sad about it.

Anyway, I searched and found the therapists Facebook profile while using another Facebook account I had (not my main account) for gaming (yes I am aware this too isn't right). One thing led to another and I found myself clicking all over the place including her family/friends etc. After I closed the facebook profile, I never had a desire to look at it again. I was quite appalled at what I'd done. it wasn't that I had any creepy fantasies of being friends with my therapist- I suppose I was just curious, the way school kids are kind of curious as to what their teachers do outside of school. Curiosity killed the cat, as they say.

Our last session together on saturday was a great one and I left with hopes and resolutions for the future. And then suddenly it hit me. What if my actual facebook account popped up on my therapist's "People You May Know" thread? Although I logged in with another account, I did it on the same computer. I have no idea what algorithm Facebook really uses for the "People You May Know" function, but since I spent over 20 mins on the page, what if Facebook, detecting that the two accounts are fro the same IP address and linked, showed her and her friends my real account on the PYMK list as well? I have a rather long name, so it'll definitely be distinctive if it showed up. Does anyone know if this has happened before? 
Needless to say this has driven my anxiety sky high. I've broken out in cold sweat and nearly thrown up at the thought of it. Our last session (just this Saturday) ended so well, I was committed to following through and she was so pleased with my progress- she sent me, happy and hopeful out the door (and on to further treatment), and I'm worried now she'll freak out and think I'm a creepy stalker with attachment issues, which really isn't the case. What I did was really out of character. Of course, it was extremely reckless of me and I wish there was some way I'd know if it happened. Yes, of course now she's my ex therapist so it shouldn't matter but the thought that I could possibly be seen in that light (especially now I worry a very low-cost gift I gave at the last session might be misconstrued). I'm really depressed over this... And yes, I know this is entirely my fault. Anyone have any ideas?


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## Wrongplanet (Mar 26, 2013)

Ps: just to clarify, the two accounts aren't linked in any way- but they were/are accessed via the same computer and ip address.



Wrongplanet said:


> I'm a newbie here, 22 years old am im one who is very cautious to maintain appropriate boundaries with therapists/counsellors. I'd sought help from a Master's student for my anxiety and ASD issues. She was incredibly helpful and I'd say I progressed a lot in a very short period of time. It was a very professional relationship. My focus was always in getting better. But right before our time was over, I did something I should never have. As much as I was otherwise very aware to keep the therapist-client relationship strictly a therapeutic one- and the therapist was also very professional- But naturally, your therapist leaving feels in a way like losing sort of your best friend- even though it is a completely different sort of relationship which is 'you' centered and the therapists life shoudnt even come into it. I suppose I was just so grateful she helped me get that far, and I was a little sad about it.
> 
> Anyway, I searched and found the therapists Facebook profile while using another Facebook account I had (not my main account) for gaming (yes I am aware this too isn't right). One thing led to another and I found myself clicking all over the place including her family/friends etc. After I closed the facebook profile, I never had a desire to look at it again. I was quite appalled at what I'd done. it wasn't that I had any creepy fantasies of being friends with my therapist- I suppose I was just curious, the way school kids are kind of curious as to what their teachers do outside of school. Curiosity killed the cat, as they say.
> 
> ...


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## pbanco (Jan 13, 2013)

Wrongplanet said:


> I'm a newbie here, 22 years old am im one who is very cautious to maintain appropriate boundaries with therapists/counsellors. I'd sought help from a Master's student for my anxiety and ASD issues. She was incredibly helpful and I'd say I progressed a lot in a very short period of time. It was a very professional relationship. My focus was always in getting better. But right before our time was over, I did something I should never have. As much as I was otherwise very aware to keep the therapist-client relationship strictly a therapeutic one- and the therapist was also very professional- But naturally, your therapist leaving feels in a way like losing sort of your best friend- even though it is a completely different sort of relationship which is 'you' centered and the therapists life shoudnt even come into it. I suppose I was just so grateful she helped me get that far, and I was a little sad about it.
> 
> Anyway, I searched and found the therapists Facebook profile while using another Facebook account I had (not my main account) for gaming (yes I am aware this too isn't right). One thing led to another and I found myself clicking all over the place including her family/friends etc. After I closed the facebook profile, I never had a desire to look at it again. I was quite appalled at what I'd done. it wasn't that I had any creepy fantasies of being friends with my therapist- I suppose I was just curious, the way school kids are kind of curious as to what their teachers do outside of school. Curiosity killed the cat, as they say.
> 
> ...


I don't think you did anything terrible. It sounds like it was curiosity.
Certain professionals should not have public FB accounts, it seems to me.


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## Cylon (Mar 15, 2013)

No. I don't think it's as terrible as you make it sound like. The therapist knows very well you're not some stalking creep, she probably has dealt with these over-attached people a few times and know what they're like. Also these people have had very good education to see this trough. You were just curious, what's wrong with that!


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## AbsenceOfSound (Nov 29, 2011)

I think what you did is relatively normal. I know I looked up my former therapist before I contacted her and then a couple times afterward (although now that I think about it, I probably shouldn't have). In today's age, I would think most therapists are aware that their clients could potentially view anything they make public on the Internet.


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## Thix (Jul 14, 2012)

I think the People You May Know is based on friends of mutual friends and people who went to the same school or worked at the same place you did. I'm f_airly_ certain it doesn't have anything to do with who's looking at who. You're just being paranoid.


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## Pam (Feb 14, 2009)

I think this is normal curiosity. If not, I'm a real stalker then. I look therapists or other people up as soon as I know their whole name. I admit I am nosy. I actually prefer the word "investigative" lol. But when they, you, or myself puts something on the internet--then they can't be surprised when everyone sees it, you know?

When looking up therapists, like you did, I think it might just be to make sure they are real people, or something like that, I can't describe what I really mean. Also maybe this is kind of bad, but I feel like if I know some info about them, then I don't feel like it's just a one-way street relationship where I do all the revealing. (Even tho this actually isn't true--it's just some irrational security thing I think in my head.) I have a problem trusting them and so it gives me a false sense of security to know what kind of music they like, or when their birthday is. 

On facebook, I seriously don't think it will put you on her "people you may know" list just because you observed her page. I don't think Facebook is that advanced to be reading EVERYthing we do (at least I hope?).


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## Stickman13 (Mar 26, 2013)

Lol it's not terrible. The Facebook algorithms can recommend things based on location as well now. For example, if you are recommended it could just as easily be from your phones linking you together to the same place.


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## YellowLittleDucky (Mar 22, 2011)

I think if this ever comes up as a topic, just tell the person that it was out of curiosity. I think they are trained to understand things like these happen.

Having said that, it wasn't really that terrible. For now, you have two choices. To let what you did be as it is, and leave it at that. Or to tell her. 

But either way, I don't think it would be that horrible. In general, it's normal for people to browse pages of other people out of curiosity. 

Ask your Therapist what he or she would do if a client did _______ in a subtle way. Find a way to transition into the subject if you feel like you have to tell her. 

In this case, I really don't think it's a big deal. Unless it is obsessive. Which from the sounds of it, it is not.


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