# Critique my OkCupid profile please.



## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

Short and to the point, you'll do great!


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## Intelligent Design (May 5, 2010)

Your link does not work. 

But having a shirtless pic on your profile is a big no-no as any female would tell you. 

You are basically sending out the message 'Hey girls, check me out, check out my bod, I love myself' 

The few responses you get (if any) will be from similarly minded superficial girls. 

But do understand that (contrary to what you have been led to believe) your visual appearance (shirt or no shirt) will actually have little bearing on the nature/number and quality of replies you get.


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## mind_games (Nov 30, 2008)

Eh says account not found, still. Maybe you have to be a member to see it?


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

Link doesn't work for me either. Dude...did you seriously use a shirtless pic for your profile?


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## hiimnotcool (Apr 28, 2009)

Honestly, I think you should make a Plentyoffish.com account instead dude. I made both around the same time (February or so) and I've only got like 5-10 messages on OKCupid. On Plentyoffish I've gotten a TON (no e-brag) so my conclusion is that more girls use POF, or are atleast more willing to message.

Oh and the link didn't work for me either.


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## hiimnotcool (Apr 28, 2009)

somethinginthewind said:


> I met my boyfriend on OKCupid and all of my girl friends call POF, Plenty of Creepers. haha just sayin. :b


Hmmm..maybe it's because I got bored/annoyed when the OKCupid profile kept telling me to do things to 'compete your profile'. Like talking to 5 new people, filling out those dumb questions, etc. I basically just quit signing in after that. Maybe I'll do the rest of it in the hopes of meeting some hot girls like you on it. You are very inspiring! pshhh


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## Johnny_Genome (Nov 11, 2003)

FYI, the text in your link is fine (copy and paste works), but you need to change where it is actually directing to which is different.


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## rumjungle (Feb 13, 2009)

I'd lose the topless picture, you'll attract attention from girls only interested in your appearance.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Sorry, We don't have a user by that name!

Now would be a great time to look at who's online list.


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## Johnny_Genome (Nov 11, 2003)

Edit the first part of your link => URL="http://www.okcupid.com/profile" 

It's missing the / and your username at the end.

There's 2 parts to a link, the actual url link and the text that is displayed on the forum. Your text displays the correct link, but the actual url is not complete.


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## veron (Apr 29, 2009)

The link works for me. Your profile seems alright, short and to the point. You could hint about being shy/quiet (and I'm guessing you are, since you're on this site, lol). I always found that quality attractive in guys :yes


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

You have good taste in books. Lose the shirtless pick dude. It's hard to take you seriously with that thing on there. I showed it to my gf and she gave me an "oh gawd" and rolled her eyes.


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## Sous la Mer (Apr 9, 2010)

Good profile, I do agree about putting something about the fact that you are shy (if you are) because that will attract like minded girls, if that is what you are looking for. 

Also, the face pic is super cute, but take off the shirtless pic! It will automatically make girls think you are conceited! Trust me (and everyone else who is giving you that same advice)


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

Maybe do a lunch meetup for starters. Somewhere within walking distance would be good for you and you also wouldn't have to pick her up. During that time you could tell about your transportation situation and if it goes well maybe she'll pick you up on a date at a later time.


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## cakesniffer (Nov 11, 2003)

Cerberus said:


> Anyone? Another problem I have is that I don't have a car or transportation, beside maybe the bus, at the moment. hmmmm


My boyfriend's sister recently moved to a new city and has been meeting guys through OKCupid. She always meets up with them the first time at a coffee shop for a drink. If the date doesn't go well, it's just an hour of her time and only a few bucks wasted. :lol

I'm not sure if she talks to them on the phone first though. She may just communicate via private message and set a meeting place and time through there.


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

Congrats! I knew you'd do well! 

I would suggest you call her, ask how she's doing, then how her day was. If she goes into a long thing about her day, then that's an indication that she wants to talk. If she keeps it short ("it was okay, work, whatever") then just see if she wants to meet for coffee. Don't suggest picking her up (so bussing won't be a problem), just say to meet at so and so place. It's best to meet at quaint, non-chain coffee shop (not like Starbucks if you know one), and if you've never been there before, just say you heard this place is pretty cool. Some place that isn't a complete hole in the wall would be best. Just ask a native where a cool coffee shop is around there.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

1. The shirtless pic. Don't get me wrong. I'm sure girls are attracted to nice bods but they might interpret it as being a bit too forward. They haven't even met you yet. It also makes you appear a bit vain. 

2. The part where it asks what you're really good at and you put yourself down. It doesn't really matter how minor you think your accomplishments are. Whatever they are, they have to be better than putting yourself down. Self-depreciation might work in some social settings but if you're looking for a girl, I'd drop that fast. 

3. Under movies, you might want to list some movies that have some appeal to women. But don't lie about what you've seen. Actually watch some "chick flicks" and pick your favorites. I think the average woman would dig a guy who enjoys movies with strong female characters. Most of the movies you listed lean towards being guy movies. Some girls might like them though.

Everything else looks more or less OK.


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

I've had like 10 accounts on that site. I would join, feel stupid about being on the site and leave. Then I would come back to it because I was feeling lonely. I never got any replies (and I rarely got profile views) from women. I find that people online are much pickier. Rightfully so, I suppose... women get tons of messages so they have more options. You have to have a lot of stuff going for you if you want to be successful in online dating. It's hard showing the real you through text and I find that people on that site don't spend the time to get to know each other. I thought of it as more of Myspace/Facebook than a dating site.

Hopefully you'll have better luck then me. But I doubt it... from the females profiles that I read, they want a guy who is confident, outgoing, smart, funny, witty, ambitious, has career goals, is independent, etc.

Being nice and good looking aren't enough for a lot of them...

(I'm from the U.S. though so maybe U.K. women are less picky)


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## andy0128 (Dec 19, 2003)

Well it sounds like its working and i havent had a dating profile before, but i would have a few better photos on there. Maybe keep the ski one but lose the topless one although some women may like that but it might put more ones off. Have some pics where you're smartly dressed and can see your head properly. 

I'd be a bit wary of saying you take drugs or is that something you want the person to be cool about especially.

Is it really necessary to put that you're unemployed? Also the same with not wanting children.

Maybe try and accentuate a few more positives and avoid stuff like you're not good at anything in particular. Those aside it seems reasonable.


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## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

I dont get why every guy has a shirtless bathroom shot in their profile, it automatically slaps a "douchebag" label on their forehead.. no offense. 

Dont want to be rude, but since youre asking youre profile lacks personality, considering that you omited the most important part which is self summary which doesent speak much of your character, you need to develop it more.


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

Hah. It feels like you and I are the only ones advocating for the shirtless pic, Cerb. I'm thinking that if it works, why change it? (As soon as my 6 pack arrives, I think I might put up a shirtless pic rather than my shirt-ful but muscly pic.)


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## Madison_Rose (Feb 27, 2009)

If I were single and in Hawaii, I'd totally message you. And your movie list is fine - we women are a diverse bunch, we don't all watch slushy pink rom coms and nothing else.


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

It's okay, but you shouldn't try to meet people online, especially in Hawaii. Shirtless pics are kind of bad, too. You have a nice physique, but the whole male taking pics of his abs with the cellphone thing comes across as really bad to a lot of women, and especially me. Actually, just making a personals ad, to me, is bad. You have to get out of that whole mindset, even if it means you are lonely and miserable. When I look back at all of the personals ads I made over the years, as in almost ten years, all I can think of is how many girls probably liked me in real life and how completely clueless I was. I was just a nervous wreck and still am. I don't think I could ever make a personals again, though. Real life is too easy. I just never had my eyes open enough.... ugh... I can't stand what I just typed but it's actually true. 

My cousins moved to Hawaii from Vermont years ago. My youngest cousin isn't there at the moment, I don't think, but he is the same age as you, same physique, snowboards (I know there is snow on the very top peak out there but how good is the snowboarding?), etc. You shouldn't have it that bad out there. My impression of Hawaii is a place where you have to put yourself out a bit more. I don't know how or why you ended up moving out there. Seems kind of weird. I imagine you should be soaking your 24-year-old liver in booze and having regretful, sometimes belligerent conversations with people, locals or otherwise. I think online personals are a sign of alienation and disconnectedness in society and very disturbing. Even with social anxiety you have to be a part of society, even if you are puking of nervousness (and intoxication) in people's laps. I think there are a lot of f----d up people out there to begin with so maybe it may be a tad easier.


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## Johnny_Genome (Nov 11, 2003)

I think you'll do quite well, and following statistics (shirtless pic) is always smarter than public opinion -- people often say they don't like one thing, and turn-around and do exactly the opposite.


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## gold132 (Mar 27, 2009)

seriously get rid of the shirtless pic, at least wear a vest or something u dont want to come across as arrogant or vain do you?


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## hiimnotcool (Apr 28, 2009)

Cerberus said:


> I am frustrated. I got this girl's number. She's the one who messaged me, asked for my IM, insisted on talking with me, and now she doesn't want to hang out. I finally worked up the courage to call her (after having not been on a date in years), and her response was that she wanted to lay in bed the rest of the afternoon until she had to leave in three hours for work. She said she was going to call me sometime later this week. ahahahahahahaah
> 
> Not only has my job search gone ****ty, now I'm getting rejected by girls who initiated contact with me. I feel like I've been scammed twice today. Once by a BS company that wanted me to pay $400 in training, and now by a girl who made it obvious that she wanted to get to know me, but apparently doesn't want to anymore.
> 
> What a great day!! I can't even run off my troubles either because I have a foot injury. Let the good times roll.


Welcome to the world of women, my friend. I had a similar situation a couple weeks ago, except it was in person. I was at the bar with my friends and this girl was talking to me the whole night and asked for my number...I gave it to her and she called on the spot to give me hers. I texted her the next weekend and got no response. What a weirdo. I've sort of grown cold with girls in general and don't try to put too much effort into it and that seems to work best. Just don't be dismayed by this recent girl, or any other girl in the future. None of them are special and you'll find someone better. Just keep doing what you're doing because you have some good things going for you.

I don't see anything wrong with the shirtless pic really. I can see where the girls in this thread are coming from, but when you get down to it girls like guys with nice bodies and you're just showing yours. You might get some of the ****tier girls messaging you but that just means it'll be easier to um....have fun with them. You're 24 so that's all you should be doing anyways!


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

BeNice said:


> Stuff I'm not going to repeat.


I don't think it's possible for you to be more judgmental than this. You don't like online dating, fine, but if it leads to dates, we are putting ourselves out there, and surely there's nothing wrong with that.



Cerberus said:


> I am frustrated. I got this girl's number. She's the one who messaged me, asked for my IM, insisted on talking with me, and now she doesn't want to hang out. I finally worked up the courage to call her (after having not been on a date in years), and her response was that she wanted to lay in bed the rest of the afternoon until she had to leave in three hours for work. She said she was going to call me sometime later this week. ahahahahahahaah
> 
> Not only has my job search gone ****ty, now I'm getting rejected by girls who initiated contact with me. I feel like I've been scammed twice today. Once by a BS company that wanted me to pay $400 in training, and now by a girl who made it obvious that she wanted to get to know me, but apparently doesn't want to anymore.
> 
> What a great day!! I can't even run off my troubles either because I have a foot injury. Let the good times roll.


Yeah man, don't let it get you down, and don't put all your eggs in one basket. You have to expect some women to flake out like that. Keep at it. Don't be afraid to be messaging more than one woman at a time or to be dating more than one woman at the same time. Chances are a good number of those girls will flake out and you might be left with one who is actually serious.


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

Cerb, have you tried this?

http://www.okcupid.com/mybestface

It might give us an idea of which of your pics get the most traction. I tried it and the pic of myself in the shadows, looking buff and not smiling won out over any of my pics that showed my face clearly, smiling, and wearing nice clothes. In fact, it got some surprisingly high scores.

Give it a shot and post the link to the results page so we can see what works. (PM me for mine.)


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

hiimnotcool said:


> Just don't be dismayed by this recent girl, or any other girl in the future. None of them are special and you'll find someone better.


 None of them are special? They may be fickle but that doesn't mean there's nothing special about them. I don't know. I just think that's not the nicest way to put it.



Cerberus said:


> LOL Thanks for the support.


 Frankly, you didn't ask for support. You asked people to critique your profile, presumably so you could improve it.

I mentioned the shirtless pic not to try and bash you or anything. I wish I looked that good without a shirt and I'm sure you did work hard to achieve that. I mentioned it because it's something I could see a girl maybe not being so impressed with. In other words, if I was going to put up a profile, I probably would be wary of putting up a shirtless pic even if I did have a nice body. It just strikes me as something the girls you really want to talk to are going to immediately write you off for.


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## strawberryjulius (Jun 28, 2009)

Am I one of the only ones not really all that bothered by a shirtless photo? I mean, it'd intimidate me a bit but I wouldn't be writing some dude off because I made some silly assumption that he's vain or arrogant without talking to him.

Cerberus - I have been there with men/women being interested and then suddenly not being interested any more. I used to blame myself for it..but eh, I guess they're missing out. :b I'm sorry about the job thing too, hopefully you'll find something soon.


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## VoxPop (Nov 9, 2003)

I'd say don't post pictures of yourself shirtless (this includes pictures of you wearing a wife-beater) or standing next to a car, especially not something like a souped-up Honda Civic or Mazda 3 with mag wheels. Don't be posting pictures taken while you were drunk or had a drink in hand. And don't say you're the quiet shy type because regardless of what you hear here I really don't think that's going to make women want to respond to your ad. I would also see if there's a way to find-out how long the girls who are interested in your profile have been members. If they've been there a while they could well be very flakey, not serious, or "serial daters" hoping to get a night-out at your expense and nothing else.


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## andy0128 (Dec 19, 2003)

STKinTHEmud said:


> I don't think it's possible for you to be more judgmental than this. You don't like online dating, fine, but if it leads to dates, we are putting ourselves out there, and surely there's nothing wrong with that.
> 
> Yeah man, don't let it get you down, and don't put all your eggs in one basket. You have to expect some women to flake out like that. Keep at it. Don't be afraid to be messaging more than one woman at a time or to be dating more than one woman at the same time. Chances are a good number of those girls will flake out and you might be left with one who is actually serious.


You're right about trying to set up a dialogue with quite a few women. I'm experiencing similar things. Girls seeming interested one minute then inexplicably ceasing to care anymore the next. However i feel the best way to get over it is to strike up a connection with someone else. Theres no point dwelling on failures, at the end of the day the dating world is pretty cutthroat and we have to face up to that.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

This may sound absolutely ridiculous to some, but they say they the man who gets rejected the most also get the most success, so keep that in mind. Even more so bizarre, you can almost get used to it lol. That is my goal at least. It almost sounds pathetic but it is also very powerful and says a lot about your confidence.


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