# Told parents about SA - negative response :(



## mmac900 (May 29, 2008)

Hi I am new to this forum, ive been reading it for some time but never registered. 

I told my parents about my SA, which I suspect ive had for a few years now, but it really kicked in 2 years ago. I am about to graduate High School in 3 days and at least that part of my life is over. Anyways, my parents were always against psychologists and all doctors in general and they want to do everything the natural way. I agree, I will not take meds I just want therapy and I thought they would be happy for me but ever since I told them things have gone downhill...

I got my counselor at school to tell my mom about me having anxiety and panic attacks(but not as specific as social anxiety) and thats what I told them at home as well. They think everyone has anxiety and its no big deal. They actually started saying how so many people have it worse then me, called me an egotistical spoiled brat and that my life is too good  Life is absolute hell for me, not only because of anxiety but also because of another factor(just as big) and they basically said that everyone has problems and that I just have to deal with it. After fighting with them for 3 hours they have finally agreed to let me go to a psychologist and I have an appointment for tomorrow. Problem is, they are not supportive at all. They think that he will make me crazy, and that I will walk out of there with a diagnosis(well duh I know I have social anxiety) and that my life will be ruined.

I am just devastated that my parents would be like that. They were always understanding and suddenly they wont help me when I need them most. If they were supportive I think I could get better faster, but now im feeling guilty for wanting to get help  We are originally from Poland, came here 7 years ago, and their thinking is that in advanced countries like usa people have stupid problems that people in less advanced nations dont because they have to try and survive. They went on and on how good I have it, how much stuff I have. I dont want any stuff I just want to be able to live a normal life :cry 

I dont know what I can do now. After telling me that they want whats best for me over the years, they wont support me in this as much as I would want them to, quite the opposite they were actually yelling at me yesterday and it made me feel so much worse.

I dont know why I have wrote this, I just needed to vent I guess. Has anyone here gone through the same thing? What did you do? Thanks for reading.


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## tednugent2007 (Oct 28, 2007)

*Re: Told parent about SA - negative response *

Well, you're 18 so you can do whatever you want. I know it's tough not having your parents supporting you, but they sound like they have no clue what you are going through. Hopefully as time goes by they will get used to the idea and stop being so *****y about it. If not, oh well. Trust me, I have some experience in this field. I stopped going to a therapist and taking meds for 5 years because I felt guilty and embarrassed, like I was letting down my family by being weak or something. My parents were against meds and thought my therapist was a waste of time and money. Well, I quit everything and then my life turned into hell. Now I'm back in therapy and getting back on meds soon. One thing I've learned is, you are the only one who can control your life. It doesn't matter if you please you family members, but in doing so you live a crappy life. Do what you have to do to get better.


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## mmac900 (May 29, 2008)

wow thank you so much for that, I needed to hear that im not crazy for wanting to get help. They really have no idea what I am going through.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

You're not crazy at all for wanting help, and I feel bad that your parents are not empathizing with your difficulties! 

Keep in mind that they likely have their own prejudices and viewpoints and reactions to hearing their son say he is having some problems. They might be in denial, or they might even think its a reflection of their parenting. All kinds of psychological reactions could be happening with THEM as well, but I understand how that still makes it difficult from your perspective to not get a little empathy and understanding.

Give them some time and patience, and they might come around. If not, your happiness is not a good thing to sacrifice to gain their approval. You are not responsible for their happiness, and as much as you might want to please them, you shouldn't have to disregard the fact that you have needs that need to be met as well.

I wish you the best of luck!


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