# does anyone else go back and forth between confident and terrified?



## Slashheynow (Nov 5, 2011)

I wasn't sure about what section to put this in, but thought this might be the most appropriate. 

so the question is, does anyone else sort of oscillate between confident to anxious miserable disaster? 

I'm finding some days or some hours I feel great and like all the fear has been drained from me and then later I revert back to socially anxious disaster. I'd imagine it's confusing for the people around me b/c sometimes I'll seem social and have a smile plastered on my face while other times I look angry (have been asked why I look so angry multiple times) and clam up. 

I feel so normal when I'm feeling good. I'm usually able to function, flirt with the coffee girl, etc. but when I switch over I can barely make eye contact with anyone. 

I don't take any medication or drugs or anything. Anyone else experience anything like this?


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## jstwnalive (Jan 28, 2012)

yup, i go afew hours all bubbly & full of energy then outta nowhere i get so angry then tired & sad today ive been up & down my moods all over the place well for the past month its been like that i hate it


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## Slashheynow (Nov 5, 2011)

It's almost akin to bi polar, but (based on real bi polar people I've met) it seems to be different. For me, it's specifically with interaction with other people. Basically sometimes I'm good and other times I'm bad.


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## Very Ape (Mar 18, 2012)

Yeah man thats exactly what I feel like as well. Its like being two different people at times. Have you noticed if these highs and lows correlate to anything in particular? I have noticed that if I have eaten and slept well I am more likely to feel confident. Also if its sunny outside I'm more likely to be able to function. I think it may be a good thing to have these fluctuations as I think it may be possible to recognise what induces them and then avoid things that cause the downswings. I read this article in FOCUS science magazine today and researchers have found that your ability to concentrate is directly affected by how much glucose is in your system.(I usually find when I can think clearly or concentrate I do not get as nervous in social situations) Next time you feel like your anxiety is about to overwhelm you, have a sugary drink and a chocolate bar. The glucose is released quickly so it is only temporary but I felt like it curbed the anxiety somewhat. Any thoughts?


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## destroyX (Nov 20, 2010)

Yes it happens to be also. When I work out I feel much better I've realized. Some days I just want to curl up in a hole and die then when I wake up I feel totally refreshed. It's definately a weird swing.


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## TheQuietGirl20 (Feb 20, 2012)

Slashheynow said:


> I wasn't sure about what section to put this in, but thought this might be the most appropriate.
> 
> so the question is, does anyone else sort of oscillate between confident to anxious miserable disaster?
> 
> ...


Yep and I thought I was the only one. That is weird isn't. I mean it's nice but then I goes away. I started questioning if I even had S.A.D because of those times. I didn't think it was possible. I thought if I had S.A.D it couldn't just go away for an hour or so and come back.


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## Ameenah (Mar 21, 2012)

Yes I'll be fine until more than one set of eyeballs are looking towards me then I close up n heart starts going a million miles an hour


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## Celestial Rhapsody (Feb 28, 2012)

Oh, I go through this all the time! 

I feel ready and confident some days. I start thinking "Yeah, I like this guy. Yeah I'm gonna ask him out". And the next thing I know I'm back to being terrified "Oh no, he won't like me!" or "This isn't a good time. I have so many problems!" 

It's so confusing sometimes. I wish I could just stay confident instead of flip-flopping back and forth. It gets so tiring.


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Sometimes it happens to me. One min I'm fine and can be talkitive then the next I get this feeling inside and shut down completely, feeling tired and worn down, emotionally drained and silent with anxiety.


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## shanny086 (Feb 15, 2011)

Yes. This happens to me a lot. Ive found recently that its been mostly good days.. but there are just some days/times when I just get overcome in a situation or I just feel off that day and I have anxiety again. We cant be perfect. I feel better just having days where Im confident because I used to be full of anxiety daily.


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## Fruitcake (Jan 19, 2012)

Absolutely. I think it's more to do with how other people are treating me than how I'm feeling. If someone's been friendly to me or thinks I'm cool then for a couple of days I'm totally confident and can talk to strangers in real life and amuse them and make a good impression.
But then I'll inevitably start thinking that I have absolutely no worth and nothing to talk about to anyone and can't carry a conversation, even though I know I can. I think after acting outgoing I also feel guilty about having confidence because I'm scared it's come across as arrogance or I've been too forward. I sometimes think I don't deserve to be confident and other people are going to judge me for being confident when I have nothing to be proud of.


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## SJD (Mar 6, 2012)

Absoloutly.

Once we have learned to deal with our fears we have two neural pathways that we take when we respond to social situations. Our old habit of negative thinking and feeling (getting angry, tense, withdrawn) and our new confident habit where we can talk with people at ease and feel confident. Some days we are triggered into our old ways of thinking, acting and feeling and it is completely normal. Use the days where you feel down to look back at all the progress you have made and focus on the positive moments where you felt confident and in control. The more you use your new habit of thinking and acting regarding social situations and the less you use your old habit, the more you will have confident phases and the less you will have terrified phases.

Good luck.


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## SweetNSour82 (Dec 19, 2011)

Slashheynow said:


> I wasn't sure about what section to put this in, but thought this might be the most appropriate.
> 
> so the question is, does anyone else sort of oscillate between confident to anxious miserable disaster?
> 
> ...


You just described me.


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## barchaetone (Oct 15, 2011)

This happens with me, but is dependent on the social situation. If I can talk to folks one on one, I really enjoy social interaction and I sometimes impress myself with how much I've grown in my abilities to handle it. 

In groups, however, I revert to my terrified and socially incompetent self. Afterwards I'm filled with self-loathing for days on end. This week, I've had three such situations (two of them parties) and I'm thinking of throwing in the towel and stay away from social situations like I used to. Even though I crave meaningful social interaction, it's not worth it to go to a party and go home feeling isolated and be depressed for days afterwards.


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## rockysowner (Nov 9, 2011)

Yes! I think it has to do with certain triggers like I feel good all day but the second I get a weird look or am around someone I got a weird vibe off in the past I'm going downhill quick. I've found removing myself from the situation and coming back after a bathroom break or singing songs in my head can help but nothing ever really changes. I just carry on until my time is up.


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## andytenshi (Jan 21, 2012)

yes, It changes daily for me. One day I'll feel really confident and relaxed. looking people in the eye and subconsciously flirting with women through eye contact, teasing etc. Then the next day for whatever reason I'll have high anxiety and just look at the floor most of the day and if I do look at a woman it turns into a creepy stare..


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## Flip Side (Aug 8, 2011)

Totally relate with most of you guys.

Some days I feel like I'm confident and *"normal." *But most days my anxiety comes back and I'm back to being low self esteemed and under confident. It's like I'm bipolar and when I wake up it's a toss up whether I'll feel good or my anxiety will come back and haunt me.


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## Catnap (Dec 5, 2011)

Yes, this happens to me a lot . I'll be feeling good and do okay, when something triggers a sudden crash in confidence for me. It might not even be anything external, but something I suddenly thought of. 

I've been feeling this way a lot about going back to college. I'm forging ahead anyway, but every now and then I feel like it's such a bad idea, lol. Just trying to ignore those feelings.


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## 67budp (Mar 1, 2012)

So true. I wish I knew why I feel so confident some days and like I'm invisible other days. If I could guess, I would say that it's a combination of things. Good night sleep, good weather, having positive interactions with others. I think a lot has to do with just starting your day with a good connection with someone.


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

Like everyone else has said, but rarer occasions for me. A lift, an "I'm better!" feeling, followed by claustraphobic walls again in a couple hours, if not shorter.


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## Michael127 (Dec 10, 2011)

For me, I feel confident, spontaneous and friendly right after my counselling appointments. This feeling lasts for about a week. Then, I hit some king of social hurdle that I cannot figure out and then, I revert to being the "invisible guy." 

This week the hurdle was hanging out with a group of students from my Philosophy class. There were five of us: three guys (including me) and two girls. One of the girls was rubbing the inside of my leg with her foot and I froze. I could not tell if she was flirting with me or if she was thinking that my leg was the table leg. So, I gave her foot a leg hug. Have you tried these? And smiled. But, I am pretty sure this other guy likes her because he was tutoring her and flirting with her. So, I did not know how to proceed and I went for the big escape. I pretended I wanted to go for lunch. Really, I felt like I did not belong.

Now, I feel like I should have done something. I am just not sure what. Confidence sapped.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I do - it is a sign of growth if the sways happen less frequently.


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## Peacefulness (Mar 23, 2012)

I got that today while I was listening all alone in my room to "overcoming Social Anxiety" as i felt super confident and then paranoid! i kept on shifting between those 2 worlds, but now the cofidence zone is heavier thank God! I'm seriously improving due to those techniques in the audio series! yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey! It's like a dream come true.


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## yager75 (Mar 14, 2011)

millenniumman75 said:


> I do - it is a sign of growth if the sways happen less frequently.


Ahh I love that. This puts it in perspective for me. I noticed I go back and forth, but reading what you wrote made me realize that it does happen less frequently than before.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

yager75 said:


> Ahh I love that. This puts it in perspective for me. I noticed I go back and forth, but reading what you wrote made me realize that it does happen less frequently than before.


I's like a vibrating string - you pluck it, then it waves in both directions, but decreasing in frequency. Eventually, there is no reaction to things.


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## TryingMara (Mar 25, 2012)

Yes! I'm glad someone posted this. Some times I 'll be feeling great, comfotable and confident and at other times I wish I could just disappear b/c the anxiety and self-consciousness is overwhelming. I hate how my confidence can so easily be knocked down. I can be feeling good, but with one sideways look from another person, I just want to run away.


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## geepeeone (Mar 27, 2012)

This is weird, but lack of sleep makes me go hyper and, oddly enough, social. It's like I am firing on all cylinders. 

Starbucks coffee/ Redbull at times, its a hit or miss, this thing. 

I think it might have something to do with the extra sugar and adrenaline in one's system that spurs this "manic" mode.


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## Peacefulness (Mar 23, 2012)

geepeeone said:


> This is weird, but lack of sleep makes me go hyper and, oddly enough, social. It's like I am firing on all cylinders. .


Hmmmm how peculiar, because I'm like dat as well. I wonder what's the reason behind this positive brain rush when I don't sleep (I get it sometimes not all da time).


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## geepeeone (Mar 27, 2012)

Peacefulness said:


> Hmmmm how peculiar, because I'm like dat as well. I wonder what's the reason behind this positive brain rush when I don't sleep (I get it sometimes not all da time).


Yeah. I think that only goes to show that there is something that is not right with our brain chemistry. I mean, to normal people, lack of sleep causes cognitive decline, but to you and me (at times) it umps up our brains. We become positive and sociable.

A couple of days ago, from what seemed to be another mundane interaction, but not having gone to sleep the night before, the interaction when on another tone. I openly flirted with the girl instead.

I mean, I was not blunt about it. I cracked good jokes, engaged her in a friendly banter, and I was fearless --things that I normally am not.


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## whatdapointyo (Mar 27, 2012)

What the hell is up with this?


I am the same as everyone. One day I'm confident and happy and the next I'm withdrawn and sad. WITH NO TRIGGERS.

It has to be a mild bi-polar type thing we're dealing with.


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## geepeeone (Mar 27, 2012)

whatdapointyo said:


> What the hell is up with this?
> 
> I am the same as everyone. One day I'm confident and happy and the next I'm withdrawn and sad. WITH NO TRIGGERS.
> 
> It has to be a mild bi-polar type thing we're dealing with.


Hey whatdapointyo, maybe you haven't found it yet? For me, I look at triggers as most likely to. I mean, it doesn't happen all the time of course; it just has the effect of likely triggering a manic or depressive states relatively more so than others.

Lack of sleep seems to trigger a manic mode for me but as for depressive state I am not sure. Though it would help if I know just so that I can avoid it. Good god! I sometimes panic when I am on the cusp of going into a depressive state just because it takes me weeks to get over it and come out the other end.


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## cerulean (Dec 8, 2008)

Slashheynow said:


> I wasn't sure about what section to put this in, but thought this might be the most appropriate.
> 
> so the question is, does anyone else sort of oscillate between confident to anxious miserable disaster?
> 
> ...


I was like this yesterday. Early in the day I felt so terrified at the though of trying to come out of my shell and socialize, and I had this despair and almost claustrophobic and imprisoned feeling. And then in the afternoon I did a minor exposure, came back to my apartment and was like "I can do this! I need to put in the work, but I can get better!"

A problem with me is when I start to feel a little better I get lazy and complacent, and when I'm feeling extremely low I'm overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings that there's no hope and I need to just give up.


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## Mairie (Jun 13, 2012)

Slashheynow said:


> so the question is, does anyone else sort of oscillate between confident to anxious miserable disaster?


Yes. Although the change takes place over a matter of days, and it's usually related to how well things went the day before at work. If I had a bad day at work the day before, I go into work absolutely MISERABLE. If I had a great day the day before, I go into work a little nervous, but overall feeling pretty ok about things. (I work around a TON of people, so this is a huge thing in my life right now.)


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## Husker9019 (Aug 14, 2011)

Yup. I used to be 80% anxious and 20% confident. These days it's the other way around. Once you put yourself out there and realize how irrational your thoughts are it's much easier to tell them to shut it, haha.


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## OpenSky (Jun 29, 2012)

Yes! Definitely. I will have highs and be very confident with people and at other times when I'm really stressed, I will be extremely nervous and it shows. My voice gets very shaky and I become super self conscious where my personality changes. When I'm confident, I can become arrogant, which is something that I hate about myself and it causes friction with others. It's really embarrassing when you oscillate between these states.

The times when I'm anxious (most of the time), it's so hard for me to get out of it and it lasts the whole day. The good moods are fleeting and I am sure others recognize this instability, which is one of my worst fears...when it comes to being judged by others and constantly worrying what they think.


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## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

Like a god damn seesaw.


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## fallingdownonmyface (Dec 3, 2006)

yup yup. gotta find that middle ground so to say.


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## TigerB (Apr 7, 2011)

I think this is just being an introvert in general. I mean I take that when you feel so good you socialize a lot with people and obviously that drains the energy out of you, and when you're tired your mood will shift.


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## purplerainx3 (Apr 28, 2010)

Yes, this is me exactly. I either always feel strangely content and "life isn't so bad after all" and want to blast my ipod or just feel completely hopeless and pathetic and like I have less worth than dirt on the floor. No middle ground.


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## Zerix (Jan 21, 2012)

Definitely a common occurrence lol... I hate my emotions simply cause they always fluctuate! Could be feeling on top of the world one moment... and then insanely lonely and despondent the next... But I guess that's the point... to work on having your mind stay on the positive side, for as long as possible, until eventually it's permanent


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

There are times when I feel very socially confident and assertive, and other times I am a timid/nervous wreak.


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## Kakumbus (Mar 27, 2012)

all the time out once every 1-2 years if we talk about extreme dangerous confidence. 3 days ago i could have done talk or do almost anything which i of course used to talk to strangers. The next day wasn't quite the same and so the next. Confidence is weird, it doesn't feel like you did anything to get it, its just there.


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## redowen (Aug 10, 2009)

Instincts can play a huge part here - there may be a good reason you are more outgoing in one situation, and not in another, and you may not be aware of that reason at the time. Often we need to stop and listen to our feelings - it may not be immediately apparent why you are feeling nervous or relaxed. Confident people are driven by instinct rather than reason - they follow their feelings about things without trying to suppress, or rationalise, them. It took me 33 years to realise that my instincts have been working for me the whole of my life, and sometimes I would get frustrated with myself for not having been more outgoing in certain situations. It's acually quite a revelation to realise that you have an internal system for assessing situations and people that works without you having to consciously use it - all you have to do is be in tune with it and you will quickly find yourself 'knowing' (as far as is possible) when its time for bonding with others and when its time to keep your counsel.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Angry in the morning.
Depressed in the day.
Bubbly at night. =D


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## MoonForge (Sep 15, 2012)

I can really relate to this, one day i feel really confident when going out, and then the next day i feel very uhm not confident, but the length seems to vary lately, i have several good days and then suddenly a really bad one.


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## moveon (Mar 28, 2009)

Ever since school started, Yes. It could be a sign that things are changing in your life and that you feel confused.


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