# Sitting alone?



## magic8ball (Dec 2, 2009)

A lot of times at school being alone can be hard when people give you looks of pity. The funny thing is, I really don't feel weird sitting alone until someone points it out or gives me looks of pity. My question is how does one ignore the feeling of eyes on you or the snide remarks? What do you tell yourself to assure yourself that there is nothing wrong with you? What is your internal thought process that keeps you self-assured?

Hope I'm making sense and someone can relate.


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## TheGambit (Nov 27, 2009)

I think of myself and what I think when I see someone sitting alone. 

I might think or judge out of curiosity for a very brief moment but then I move on about 1/2 a second later.

So if there is anything to worry about it's brief and unimportant.


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## magic8ball (Dec 2, 2009)

That's a good way of thinking about it. The problem in my situation is probably more to do with my own paranoia, but that's another issue many SAers have to deal with. I just hate the feeling that people think there's something wrong with me and I can't get the feeling I felt when I got those looks out of my head.


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## Miss Meggie (Nov 19, 2009)

After I told my boyfriend that I don't go to eat at the dining hall because I don't want to stand in line/sit and eat alone, he said that nobody evens notices someone sitting alone. Especially if you're in a crowded place, like the dining hall.
And if they do, they either don't care or see you and think that you're sitting alone because you're friends are in class/busy/etc. 
Just remind yourself that _anyone_ could be sitting alone, even the most popular kid. And who cares what the people you'll probably never see again think? (I know it's hard, but I've recently started to tell myself these things, and I'm getting a bit better at eating/going places/doing things alone.)


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## SeekingHappiness (Dec 14, 2009)

I have some friends at univ (mostly made during labs etc etc) whenever I see them walking towards class I would slow down on purpose so I could enter the class later (or earlier) so I could sit by myself. I enjoy sitting by myself so I don't have to go through forced conversation.. I also feel a sense of independence sitting by myself showing that I don't need anybody to do well in my courses. some people actually pointed out I sit alone all the time but I just outright ignore them and pretend I'm getting stuff out of my backpack or reading some notes..


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## stina (Aug 12, 2009)

At uni (I spend most of my day alone), what I do is try to make myself look really busy with an ipod/book/food. That way I don't notice the people looking at me and it looks like I want to be on my own to do some reading or something. 
If you look around more closely I think you'll see more people alone than you think.


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## far310 (Nov 29, 2008)

Some days this semester I ask myself at the end of the day, who did I talk to today..most of the time the response was not a single person..feels bad..thats gonna be different next semester thankfully though with more classes, a job, sport club etc.


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## Frankie_Lee (Sep 15, 2008)

far310 said:


> Some days this semester I ask myself at the end of the day, who did I talk to today..most of the time the response was not a single person..


lol I do this all the time.


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## VeggieGirl (Dec 11, 2009)

I have a feeling I am going to have this problem up until summer =/
However I guess I will probably go to the library alot, as you don't get stared at when your alone in there because alot of people are.


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## Havalina (Dec 18, 2004)

stina said:


> At uni (I spend most of my day alone), what I do is try to make myself look really busy with an ipod/book/food. That way I don't notice the people looking at me and it looks like I want to be on my own to do some reading or something.


I do the same thing. I always look busy. I do think it is a counter-productive behaviour though. Just makes you that much more unapproachable, thus more isolated in the end.


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

In highschool I was pretty bad with this. I'd usually grab some lunch and go to the library. Towards my Senior year, I found a popular friend or two to hang out with.

I don't think its so bad though after highschool. A restaurant where everyone is eat at a group or table can be unnerving. But if it is less formal, just bring a book, newspaper, pad to write on, laptop, pda, or something else. No one will even give it a second look.


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## FakeFur (Nov 4, 2009)

I always sit by myself. I have yet to eat dinner with another person. A few days ago I counted how many people were sitting by themselves in the dining hall like me. There were only 4 other people by themselves. Everyone else was sitting with another person or in a group. I know though, that most people don't really care when they see someone sitting alone. That's one thing I really like about college. In high school, when you sit alone it's weird. But in college nobody cares. But even though no one cares, I still feel bad. Sitting alone while being surrounded by people who are sitting with friends, talking and laughing together, reminds me of how isolated I am and how lonely I feel.


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## rincewind (Sep 7, 2009)

VanDamMan said:


> I don't think its so bad though after highschool.


That was my experience too. At school I was always very conscious of hanging around alone, going so far as to tag along with people I didn't really like just to avoid it. At university nobody seemed to care one way or the other.


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

For a while when I was 8 years old I had no friends to play with because they all played Dragonball Z and I didn't like it. So I was cast out and I just sat on a bench every lunch time. Two girls used to come up to me and say "I feel sorry for you, I wish I could play with you" and then would walk off. I don't really remember being lonely or anything but I never noticed how alone I was until they pointed it out.

Damn you Dragonball Z :b


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

Rixy said:


> Damn you Dragonball Z :b


How do you play Dragonball Z? Is that like a card game or do you put a z on a ball and throw it at each other?


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## this portrait (Jul 18, 2009)

I try to not pay attention to everyone else whenever I sit alone. The only time I ever sit alone is when I go to the cafeterias. In that case, I distract myself from my surroundings by doing homework while eating. It helps to relieve the anxiety a lot, as well as help me get things done.


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## mrbojangles (Oct 8, 2009)

rincewind said:


> That was my experience too. At school I was always very conscious of hanging around alone, going so far as to tag along with people I didn't really like just to avoid it. At university nobody seemed to care one way or the other.


i heard this quote on sas and its so true. im paraphrasing, but it went "sit alone in high school, your a weirdo. sit alone in college, no one cares."


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## SOME (Jul 13, 2009)

Siting alone at school is torture. Minutes become hours.


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