# Guys, would you date a "nice girl"?



## Lottoman (Nov 9, 2010)

I know there is already a thread about the same thing with the roles reversed but this is by no means meant to be taken as parody or sarcasm.

-Puts your needs before her own.
-Tends to avoid confrontations and arguments.
-Often goes out of her way to do favors for you. 
-Men don't pursue her or give her a second glance. 
-Lacks confidence and sometimes behaves awkwardly.
-Seeks your approval.


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## The Phantom Pain (Oct 6, 2010)

It doesn't really work the same imo. Women by nature are more passive when it comes to relationships. But as always, for it to work, she can't be too compromising.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

Yes. I would still insist on doing things for her and getting her to be more confident in herself for her own sake, but knowing that a girl cares enough about me to want to do all that is a good thing. I certainly wouldn't consider it a turn-off.


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## extremly (Oct 25, 2012)

If she is attractive (physically and mentally) in your eyes go for it. In fact I think girls like that are perfect match for me at least.


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

im dating someone who fits the first two... 

i dont know about the third...

and the fourth she has her days... like some days she will be very outgoing and talkative and other days she will be a little reserved, not so much awkward though... omg i didnt realize how much she was like me until i posted this lol

and to answer ur question, if i were to run across a girl who fit ur discription to a tee than i would say, yeah id give it a shot...
1.) it would be nice to know that somebody cared and id probably be the same way with her if we were serious... and even if we werent and i saw her sacrificing something for me it would only be fair that i do the same for her

2.) im sure after she realized that i wouldnt get upset if we disagree on something that shed become more open with her opinions once she got comfortable with me... (hell, theres people on here whom i disagree on pretty much every topic with whom i still like as people)

3.) as long as shes attractive to me thats all that matters

4.) i can be that way alot of the time, so who am i to turn someone down for having issues similar to my own


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## Donnie in the Dark (Mar 15, 2011)

I feel actually guilty for saying yes, as said girl seems to have some problems. But then I suppose rejecting someone due to their problems is ****ty also. 

I guess it depends on if you are attracted to the obvious insecurity in a predatory/exploitative way, or if you genuinely like her and hope she can become more secure and happy.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

The nice guy TPower described was a douche. Not just submissive. If her personality was identical to the nice guy TPower described then no. I would date this nice girl if I was attracted to her and we clicked but I don't think it's right for her to be approval seeking and avoid confrontation. I would want my partner to speak what is on her mind and be honest about her feelings. She shouldn't have to be so approval seeking and put me above herself. I want to do nice things for her too. I want my partner to know that I love her and think that she's sexy and that I would never look at another woman. I don't want her to be all paranoid that I'm going to leave her if she doesn't constantly seek my approval.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Ape in space said:


> Yes. I would still insist on doing things for her and getting her to be more confident in herself for her own sake, but knowing that a girl cares enough about me to want to do all that is a good thing. I certainly wouldn't consider it a turn-off.


Yeah, me neither.
I do want her to be able to speak up in conversations with me - I want there to be an interaction, a 'click', and not have me be forced to carry the conversation - but aside from that, I really don't mind if people are shy and insecure.



phoenixwright said:


> I don't think it's right for her to be approval seeking and avoid confrontation.


No, it's not good for her, but the way I see it that means she should be helped to be more secure in herself, not that she should be rejected and left alone.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

"Most" Guys don't have unrealistic standards, they just want to date.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

No that sounds terrible.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

I'm attracted to the 'girl next door' look. Does that count?


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## ak3891 (May 15, 2012)

Of course! A girl has to be nice, I wouldn't have it any other way because then girls just act like men. I mean as kids who ever fell in love with Cinderella's sisters and not her?

Cinderella<3


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## hmnut (Aug 8, 2011)

I think most guys want a nice girl. 

Men and women tend to view this aspect of relationships very differently.

Men seek relationships with women in order to find a place of stability, women seek relationships with men in order to find excitement.

Let me put it this way. Movies made for men, the romantic interest is always the "prize." The hero man overcomes the plot/drama in order to save the girl and live happily ever after.

But in movies made for women, the romance is the cause of the plot/drama... a common theme in 'chick flicks' is making the relationship work. 

This ISN'T too say women don't want nice guys (the opposite in fact) it is to say women don't want BORING guys, regardless of how nice he is.

This is the difference between men and women, a guy won't mind dating a boring nice girl. 

(of course boring in the bed room is a whole other issue which could change everything).


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## ak3891 (May 15, 2012)

hmnut said:


> I think most guys want a nice girl.
> 
> Men and women tend to view this aspect of relationships very differently.
> 
> ...


I was reading this and I was like hmm intresting this has alot of truth in iit.. Then i saw your last sentance, made me laugh so much.:haha


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

hmnut said:


> I think most guys want a nice girl.
> 
> Men and women tend to view this aspect of relationships very differently.
> 
> ...


mind=blown :blank


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

no, lack of confidence is not attractive.


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## creasy (Oct 29, 2012)

Depends on how nice an *** she has. Seriously though, no. (unless she has a kim k booty)


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## nullptr (Sep 21, 2012)

I want a girl like me, whether that's "nice" i dont know


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

A girl can be confident and still be nice.
I am all for her being able to do things herself. I don't want to marry a Peg Bundy. :lol


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## Soilwork (May 14, 2012)

The girl that you describe just sounds insecure. However, I would like to date a girl who was nice in the sense that she isn't promiscuous and doesn't get involved in binge drinking and the other debauchary that many modern women seem to partake in.


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## dassad (May 13, 2012)

Lottoman said:


> I know there is already a thread about the same thing with the roles reversed but this is by no means meant to be taken as parody or sarcasm.
> 
> -Is willing to sleep with you.


I fixed it for you.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Hell to the nah man.


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## renegade disaster (Jul 28, 2009)

Lottoman said:


> -Puts your needs before her own.
> -Tends to avoid confrontations and arguments.
> -Often goes out of her way to do favors for you.
> -Men don't pursue her or give her a second glance.
> ...


sounds perfect.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Yes.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Sounds about perfect to me.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Yes, that's exactly the type of girl I want.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

I'm surprised how many guys here want a codependent desperate gf. That will not be a healthy relationship.This must be one of those things where people THINK they want something until they realize what the reality of it is.


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

-Puts your needs before her own.
-Tends to avoid confrontations and arguments.
-Often goes out of her way to do favors for you. 
-Men don't pursue her or give her a second glance. 
-Lacks confidence and sometimes behaves awkwardly.
-Seeks your approval.

Yes I would date a nice girl (if I had any at all), but *not the nice you describe above*.

Sound pretty boring to me ( I dont want someone who basically kisses my *** and has no own opinion) and also very unreal, I never met such a person at all.

Still much fantasizing on here at the board I see i see  Wonder if this board should have better the topic of science fiction and fantasy ?


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## Napoleon Dynamite (Feb 20, 2013)

It really just depends on how attractive she is. If she's hot, I can learn to love her.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

diamondheart89 said:


> I'm surprised how many guys here want a codependent desperate gf. That will not be a healthy relationship.This must be one of those things where people THINK they want something until they realize what the reality of it is.


I think there are a lot of desperate old virgins here who think that a woman like that would be understanding of their issues.


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

If a girl I like doesn't have a lot of confidence I'd like to help her with it if I could. I don't want to be in a relationship where I have to make all the decisions. An opinion is nice...unless if it's racist or something. :sus


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

Lottoman said:


> -Puts your needs before her own.
> -Tends to avoid confrontations and arguments.
> -Often goes out of her way to do favors for you.
> -Men don't pursue her or give her a second glance.
> ...


I see people have little no idea what being nice really means.


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## Paragon (Apr 13, 2010)

Lots of people are just using nice and insecure/needy interchangeably these days.


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## renegade disaster (Jul 28, 2009)

diamondheart89 said:


> I'm surprised how many guys here want a codependent desperate gf. That will not be a healthy relationship.This must be one of those things where people THINK they want something until they realize what the reality of it is.


for me the list reads like the opposite of what I have seen to encounter in the past ,so in that sense its closer to perfect. the polar opposite type of women is all I have had interest from before i'm personally a bit fed up with that.my experience has been that they seriously do my head in after a while.


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## lightningstorm (Oct 10, 2012)

Lottoman said:


> I know there is already a thread about the same thing with the roles reversed but this is by no means meant to be taken as parody or sarcasm.
> 
> -Puts your needs before her own.
> -Tends to avoid confrontations and arguments.
> ...


Not only I would date her, I would marry this type of girl.


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## Reppyboyo (Dec 10, 2012)

My question is where the heck do you find nice girls?
They tend to be tucked away.


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## tennislover84 (May 14, 2010)

No. I only go for bad girl alpha females. I "friend zone" everyone else. Unless they have lots of money.

Disclaimer: this is a joke. :b


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

I can't say I wouldn't date a girl like that. Depends on what I see in her. I can't say for certain with what criteria I eliminate women. Whatever feels best, really.

My brain calculates, with reasonably good accuracy, people who are interesting and fun to be around.

I can't say those "nice girl" traits aren't negative towards that last bit. I would date a girl who was like that, but only if she wasn't content to stay that way and wanted to become stronger as a person. Ultimately,though, I want a girl who can take care of herself, has a high self-esteem, does things for herself (instead of trying to please everyone), shows a high degree of confidence and autonomy, and is willing and eager to learn, grow, and aspire.


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## elvin jones (Dec 12, 2011)

Lottoman said:


> -Puts your needs before her own.
> -Tends to avoid confrontations and arguments.
> -Often goes out of her way to do favors for you.
> -Men don't pursue her or give her a second glance.
> ...


Going by this description, no. What you are describing isn't really nice but a pushover with no confidence and dependency issues.


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## millyxox (Dec 18, 2009)

Lottoman said:


> -Puts your needs before her own.
> -Tends to avoid confrontations and arguments.
> -Often goes out of her way to do favors for you.
> -Men don't pursue her or give her a second glance.
> ...


Damn this describes me perfectly...I'll tell you this, guys aren't attracted to girls who lack confidence & aren't assertive. That's why I'm trying to change.


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## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

My mind is telling me no but my body my body is telling me yes.


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## da kewliest (Jan 22, 2013)

no I would not, you cant respect someone who doesn't really respect themselves. I don't like passive aggressiveness, that is not being nice. avoids confrontation and seeks your approval are not good qualities regardless of how "hot" she is.




^
also nice r Kelly reference man of few words


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## renegade disaster (Jul 28, 2009)

ManOfFewWords said:


> My mind is telling me no but my body my body is telling me yes.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

millyxox said:


> Damn this describes me perfectly...I'll tell you this, guys aren't attracted to girls who lack confidence & aren't assertive. That's why I'm trying to change.


No they definitely are.

They like to use women to prop up their own ego.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

WintersTale said:


> I think there are a lot of desperate old virgins here who think that a woman like that would be understanding of their issues.


Understanding would be one thing, but if you're targeting someone who likely has massive issues of their own because they lack a sense of initiative and will go along with whatever you want, that is a recipe for disaster. Nor will it keep your interest for long. I've seen it happen and the two people just drag each other down. Again, the definition of NICE is totally skewed here. What is being described is a personality disorder and it's NOT healthy or good for anyone. Someone like that isn't being nice, they're sick. If you rephrase that as "will you like to go out with someone whose existence revolves around you and they have no independent thought or desire, who stalks your every move, who is desperate for attention and adoration, and agrees with whatever you say and are massively insecure?" would you all still say yes? Again, you THINK you want that but I've seen it happen and it turns into a horrible mess of controlling, jealousy, codependence, and misery. So instead of you being unhappy by yourself, you're miserable with someone just as unhappy as you are.

Now if you want to talk about actual nice people, who are kind, compassionate, but HAVE THEIR OWN THOUGHTS AND DESIRES. Who don't act like your mommy or daddy. Who don't need constant adulation. Who have some sense of self-respect. Then yes. I am all for being with those nice people.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Enough with these threads.


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## dassad (May 13, 2012)

diamondheart89 said:


> Understanding would be one thing, but if you're targeting someone who likely has massive issues of their own because they lack a sense of initiative and will go along with whatever you want, that is a recipe for disaster. Nor will it keep your interest for long. I've seen it happen and the two people just drag each other down. Again, the definition of NICE is totally skewed here. What is being described is a personality disorder and it's NOT healthy or good for anyone. Someone like that isn't being nice, they're sick. If you rephrase that as "*will you like to go out with someone whose existence revolves around you and they have no independent thought or desire, who stalks your every move, who is desperate for attention and adoration, and agrees with whatever you say and are massively insecure*?" would you all still say yes? Again, you THINK you want that but I've seen it happen and it turns into a horrible mess of controlling, jealousy, codependence, and misery. So instead of you being unhappy by yourself, you're miserable with someone just as unhappy as you are.
> 
> Now if you want to talk about actual nice people, who are kind, compassionate, but HAVE THEIR OWN THOUGHTS AND DESIRES. Who don't act like your mommy or daddy. Who don't need constant adulation. Who have some sense of self-respect. Then yes. I am all for being with those nice people.


Narcissistic men sometimes prefer very submissive women who will wait on them hand and foot. So to them this is the prefect kind of women. After all, they don't care about what she wants, and are more concerned with their needs being fulfilled. And a woman like that will stick around even under verbal/physical abuse.


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## Metal_Heart (Feb 11, 2009)

Some of the _same_ men who drone on about being forever alone and how they just want a relationship/sex because they believe it's the only thing that matters, are actually in this thread saying this type of girl is not attractive because she isn't confident or she has codependency issues..........

...which may be true but might it be worth looking at the hypocrisy here? If you don't find a girl like this attractive, but you want to depend on a relationship to solve your problems or you think women should be interested in you despite your lack of confidence, then can you at least appreciate why other women might not find you attractive either?

I don't know -.-


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

dassad said:


> Narcissistic men sometimes prefer very submissive women who will wait on them hand and foot. So to them this is the prefect kind of women. *After all, they don't care about what she wants, and are more concerned with their needs being fulfilled. And a woman like that will stick around even under verbal/physical abuse.*


Exactly. :blank


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

Reppyboyo said:


> My question is where the heck do you find nice girls?*
> They tend to be tucked away.*


The "player" settles down with this one when he's done "playing the field." They keep them locked away in a dungeon, until their appetites are "sated."


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## renegade disaster (Jul 28, 2009)

although that maybe true about narcissistic men it would be presumptuous to assume all men approaching these types of women would be this way inclined. not everyone who is after that type of woman is narcissistic. its not that simple, they could be looking to help another person and be supportive of someone and that gives them a sense of satisfaction, have a feeling of wanting to look after others,they could be looking for someone more submissive as they find dominating partners off-putting or they might be more traditional in their ideas of gender roles. probably many other reasons too.


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## O Range (Feb 11, 2013)

The acting awkwardly bit is cute and I would date someone like that in a heartbeat, but 


Lottoman said:


> -Men don't pursue her or give her a second glance.


I don't want to be someone's consolation.


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

Guys don't like this girl, at least everyone I've met, it's all good though, I don't really like myself either 

Well I try NOT to be passive agressive but I am not so great with conflict so.... its an issue.


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## dassad (May 13, 2012)

galaxy1 said:


> although that maybe true about narcissistic men it would be presumptuous to assume all men approaching these types of women would be this way inclined. not everyone who is after that type of woman is narcissistic. its not that simple, they could be looking to help another person and be supportive of someone and that gives them a sense of satisfaction, have a feeling of wanting to look after others,they could be looking for someone more submissive as they find dominating partners off-putting or they might be more traditional in their ideas of gender roles. probably many other reasons too.


That is true, and I didn't wish to imply that all men who are willing to date these kind of women were narcissistic and abusive. And you are right they could be looking to be supportive, and try to help another person, which is great. But on the flip side a healthy relationship is very difficult if both individuals are not themselves for the most part mentally healthy, and that initial or even prolonged love and support can turn to bitterness when the mentally unhealthy partner is not improving or simply unable to give what the other partner wants or needs.


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## zant (Nov 25, 2012)

Yeah. I'd rather that actually than a loud and obnoxious person


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## CWe (Mar 7, 2010)

Nice girls are what I love !!!!!

Yes I would...


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## renegade disaster (Jul 28, 2009)

dassad said:


> That is true, and I didn't wish to imply that all men who are willing to date these kind of women were narcissistic and abusive. And you are right they could be looking to be supportive, and try to help another person, which is great. But on the flip side a healthy relationship is very difficult if both individuals are not themselves for the most part mentally healthy, and that initial or even prolonged love and support can turn to bitterness when the mentally unhealthy partner is not improving or simply unable to give what the other partner wants or needs.


so do you think 2 mentally ill should people be dating each other?


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

An actual nice girl, absolutely. Nice as defined by the original post, no way. I generally like someone who is a bit on the sarcastic side and who can challenge me conversationally (not that that would be difficult or anything, but there are just a lot of dumb people out there). Someone who's got some spunk. Someone who is loyal and honest and "nice", but has a bit of a wild, adventurous side as well. In other words, I'm completely selfish and would want someone who could further bring me out of my shell.


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## Soilwork (May 14, 2012)

rymo said:


> An actual nice girl, absolutely. Nice as defined by the original post, no way. I generally like someone who is a bit on the sarcastic side and who can challenge me conversationally (not that that would be difficult or anything, but there are just a lot of dumb people out there). *Someone who's got some spunk*. Someone who is loyal and honest and "nice", but has a bit of a wild, adventurous side as well. In other words, I'm completely selfish and would want someone who could further bring me out of my shell.


I think she would prefer it if it was you who had it. :teeth


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Soilwork said:


> I think she would prefer it was you who had it. :teeth


Oh I meant she would have it on her face.

HEYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOO


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