# How to kickstart a social life



## NoHobbies (Jun 26, 2013)

How exactly do you do this when you have no friends and aren't in school anymore.


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## cali2013 (Aug 12, 2012)

I'm not sure. Meetup.com? Volunteering locally? Hanging out with coworkers?


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## Kindest Demon (Jul 29, 2013)

Yeah, no clue. I've been working on this one for about 3 years now and I've tried a LOT of different approaches to it. The best so far has been volunteering at the science center in the area. I haven't really made friends that last outside the walls, but I'm happy when I'm there, the job requires interaction with people, and it's just fun playing with all those experiments!

Oh, and I joined Big Brothers/Big Sisters and it's helping a fair amount. It's really hard to hate yourself and be depressed when you have this person who just adores hanging out with you even if you're just taking a walk.

Good luck, and please share if you find anything that works for you!!


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## h00dz (Dec 25, 2012)

I really need advice on this as well...


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## NoHobbies (Jun 26, 2013)

I don't know. It's just different being an adult. You don't really make new friends and I haven't really made a new one since I was a teenager. Plus 2 men who are strangers don't really wanna initiate a friendship or a hangout. It would be weird. Even moreso when you're a loner.


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## ocelot81 (Jun 1, 2013)

Ugh trying to create a social life or even friends at this age... I couldn't do it, or at least enough to last for years or more than superficial, at age 16, how I could I do it now?!

I think many of us on here face this... it's simply not easy to create long-term relationships. 
Advice, bullet-points, or little quips here and there on threads like this would be grateful. In the end though, it's up to each of us personally to go out of our comfort zone and simply go up to and try conversing with people.

Geographical location helps, and apparently school does too. I didn't find this to be true. As people have pointed out, meetup.com, city events, shelter/youth activities and volunteer events, even hanging out in more public spots... the above haven't really helped me in the friend area, but any socialization can only help, no?


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

Join a club!

Sorry, I had to do it before someone inevitably popped up and suggested the solution to all our problems. It's something that seems like an impossibility to me. If you failed in school... how can you possibly make it in the real world?


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## PatheticGuy (Sep 2, 2013)

What are you supposed to do when your interests don't lend well to volunteering or meetups.


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## Koloz (Nov 11, 2011)

It's impossible to start a social life after 14 years old because everyone already has their own social circle and don't want to include some loner with crippling awkwardness.


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## theeverforgotten (Oct 11, 2013)

Hey,

I have found it very difficult interacting with people in a city environment, i lack confidence and find it very difficult to start or keep up a conversation. But recently i mustered some courage and traveled alone, and it was a liberating experience. I ended up interacting with a few locals there and had fun. The best part i came back feeling happy and confident, which helped me open up to people here.

Maybe you can try traveling alone.


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## HanSolo (Jul 5, 2013)

Kindest Demon said:


> Yeah, no clue. I've been working on this one for about 3 years now and I've tried a LOT of different approaches to it. The best so far has been volunteering at the science center in the area. I haven't really made friends that last outside the walls, but I'm happy when I'm there, the job requires interaction with people, and it's just fun playing with all those experiments!
> 
> Oh, and I joined Big Brothers/Big Sisters and it's helping a fair amount. It's really hard to hate yourself and be depressed when you have this person who just adores hanging out with you even if you're just taking a walk.
> 
> Good luck, and please share if you find anything that works for you!!


I live in such a small place, there's nothing cool like a science center


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## Kindest Demon (Jul 29, 2013)

HanSolo said:


> I live in such a small place, there's nothing cool like a science center


I drive 40min at least to get to my science center (and yes, I've pretty much claimed the place as mine LOL). But honestly, us science nerds are everywhere. You may not have an official science center, but I'm sure we've managed to infiltrate your area as well with our own brand of fun  Just keep your eyes peeled for people who buy diet coke and mentos :boogie


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## tooafraid (Nov 22, 2013)

Yep, I'm in the exact same boat. Finished college with practically no friends. It seems you have to have friends to make more friends, if not starting from scratch is going to real hard. I don't even want to be popular, just want a small group of close friends whom I can hang out with every weekend or so.


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## PatheticGuy (Sep 2, 2013)

Kindest Demon said:


> I drive 40min at least to get to my science center (and yes, I've pretty much claimed the place as mine LOL). But honestly, us science nerds are everywhere. You may not have an official science center, but I'm sure we've managed to infiltrate your area as well with our own brand of fun  Just keep your eyes peeled for people who buy diet coke and mentos :boogie


What exactly do you do there? Is that like a research center because I'd love to work at Brookhaven which is not that far from me but that's only for people with connections.


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## Kindest Demon (Jul 29, 2013)

PatheticGuy said:


> What exactly do you do there? Is that like a research center because I'd love to work at Brookhaven which is not that far from me but that's only for people with connections.


Liberty Science Center, it's one of those hands on interactive science museums designed to get children interested in science (http://lsc.org/) I started volunteering because I find it a little creepy to visit on a regular basis if you don't have children LOL Besides, this way I get to play with more liquid nitrogen :clap


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## Khorneflakes (Oct 20, 2013)

The reason it was easier back in school is because we didn't have to make any effort. You spend six hours a day with the same guys and there are plenty of shared aspects, everyone is more or less the same age, lives in the same region, goes through the same school ordeals, etc. It's an ideal climate to form friendships

On the other hand, it's also a bit of a forced thing. When i graduated 5 years ago, I considered nearly everyone in our class my friend, but the whole "class community" disintegrated really fast, simply because people have different interests and outlooks on life. I'd say I have 10 friends from highschool, and 5 of them are "going on holidays together" material. The rest of highschool, tbh if it weren't for facebook i wouldn't know whethere they are still alive or not. 

That being said, I've met the majority of my current friends after high school, all through activities that i enjoyed on my own, like Sports or other hobbies. Sports is very good for making these "fire forged" friendships, when you drive several hundred kilometers to a tournament and there you support each other and share some epic triumphs and bitter defeats together, that's comradeship on a very deep level.


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