# Was this rude? I felt like I was ridiculed! A person has to point out that I'm quiet!



## DrPepper31 (Jan 27, 2013)

Awhile back, I went to a family members house warming party, there were alot of my sister in law's friends, I decided to drink a bit, and my sister in a law jokingly said, that I'm a "bad influence." I thought that was funny, nothing that I'm offended about that whatsoever. Anyway, one of her friends-that I've never met before/haven't even talked to, said some smart-*** comment out loud where everyone could here, "Oh, I haven't heard her say a word." I'm like WTF? And some people were laughing. I felt like I was being ridiculed, being a quiet person having someone point that out to everyone made me feel so low. Some people just don't understand, that quiet people don't like it when someone points that out, they are NOT helping them, it only makes it worse! Anyone else experienced this?


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## SoiFon (Aug 2, 2014)

This has been happening to me my whole life. I am quiet when I am among a group of people that I don't know very well, and I honestly don't think there's ever been a time when someone hasn't pointed it out. I agree it's rude, but I don't think the person who said it or anyone who hasn't experienced this sort of thing think of it as rude. They just think they are just trying to make a harmless joke.


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## Young Cat Lady (Jul 21, 2014)

I've experienced it and sometimes it bothers me. Like, it makes me feel like, "I should talk more, be more open with people" etc, but if being quiet is true to your personality, I wouldn't let it bother me because it is the truth and it doesn't make it bad. I am quiet. Granted I can be talkative to people I like/am comfortable around so...-shrugs-...eh.

Personally, I don't think that person's comment was rude and I don't think you were being ridiculed, but I do think if that person has never even spoken to you let alone met you they shouldn't be talking about you like they have. Things like that reminds me why I hate people. Some are just presumptuous and don't know when to keep their mouth closed.


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## ShrimpSauce (Jan 12, 2012)

Yeah I have heard that dozens of times. One time it was "Come back when you learn English" I love my inlaws -____-. At first I didn't really think much of the comments but after I started hearing them over and over again I began to think it was rude, and I get annoyed by them. I don't encourage those comments by laughing or joking back with them.


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## anxious87 (Oct 6, 2013)

I've experienced people calling me out on being quiet. I don't enjoy it. For some, I think they say it out of fear and for others, they just want to get to know you better. At least that's how I see it.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

DrPepper31 said:


> "Oh, I haven't heard her say a word." I'm like WTF?


A bona fide b**** comment right there.

Possible retorts:

"If you shut up for a second, maybe you'd hear something other than your own voice."
"Do YOU ever STOP talking?"
"Oh, aren't you an observant motherf***er."
"Maybe I think you're a c*** who's not worth a breath."


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## DrPepper31 (Jan 27, 2013)

Just Lurking said:


> A bona fide b**** comment right there.
> 
> Possible retorts:
> 
> ...


I like that!!! Next time, someone makes a comment, these are one of the things I will say to them and surely they will keep their mouth shut. I'll be a smart-*** just like them.


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## AndreaXo (Mar 22, 2014)

DrPepper31 said:


> Awhile back, I went to a family members house warming party, there were alot of my sister in law's friends, I decided to drink a bit, and my sister in a law jokingly said, that I'm a "bad influence." I thought that was funny, nothing that I'm offended about that whatsoever. Anyway, one of her friends-that I've never met before/haven't even talked to, said some smart-*** comment out loud where everyone could here, "Oh, I haven't heard her say a word." I'm like WTF? And some people were laughing. I felt like I was being ridiculed, being a quiet person having someone point that out to everyone made me feel so low. Some people just don't understand, that quiet people don't like it when someone points that out, they are NOT helping them, it only makes it worse! Anyone else experienced this?


yeah. especially in my middle school/ high school years. both students and teachers would make those kind of jokes about me. people like that are just insecure *****es.


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## AndreaXo (Mar 22, 2014)

Just Lurking said:


> A bona fide b**** comment right there.
> 
> Possible retorts:
> 
> ...


The first and third retorts are brilliant :clap


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## AWIP (Sep 29, 2013)

Yeah sounds like she was slick.


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## elynn052 (Aug 3, 2014)

Yeah it's happened to me several times before. Once I had someone ask me why I was so quiet. It only makes it worse.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people in this world who don't give a s*** when it comes to saying whatever is on their mind. They just have a really bad habit by saying whatever they are thinking. They will be put in a dangerous situation if they don't stop. Not with you but with someone else who probably has a bad temper. At least you're not that kind of person.


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## ByMyself19 (Feb 5, 2014)

It has happened to me and it makes me so angry and sorrowful at the same time.It's nobody's business if I'm quiet.why the hell do they even care about it? :?


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## Icy Tulips (Jul 28, 2014)

I've had people point out how quiet I am, and if anything, it just makes me not talk to them. I've literally turned away from people who've said it and randomly struck up a conversation with the person nearest to me, that's how much it puts me off. It's actually a good way of telling that person off without having to say a word to them.  Too many people talk when they really have nothing to say. It's almost like they don't think because their mouths are open all the time.


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## AndreaXo (Mar 22, 2014)

Icy Tulips said:


> I've had people point out how quiet I am, and if anything, it just makes me not talk to them. I've literally turned away from people who've said it and randomly struck up a conversation with the person nearest to me, that's how much it puts me off. It's actually a good way of telling that person off without having to say a word to them.  Too many people talk when they really have nothing to say. It's almost like they don't think because their mouths are open all the time.


I know right? I wonder how they'd feel if you asked them, 'Why are you so loud? You're always talking so much!" I bet they wouldn't feel like opening up to you either. It's the same thing but people can never see that for some reason.


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## skittyonsocks (Jul 23, 2014)

Usually people who say this are the loud everybody look at me type who thinks that just because someone's quiet they can walk all over them.


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## Icy Tulips (Jul 28, 2014)

AndreaXo said:


> I know right? I wonder how they'd feel if you asked them, 'Why are you so loud? You're always talking so much!" I bet they wouldn't feel like opening up to you either. It's the same thing but people can never see that for some reason.


They'd definitely find it rude. I assume that they know what they're asking/saying isn't all too positive, so when the tables are turned on them, they flip. It's pathetic.


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## Shockwave The Logical (Aug 27, 2013)

You know, you can say **** you.


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## Rayzada (Jul 31, 2014)

I totally get you.

Growing up, people would say to me - "You're too quiet" or "Be Louder!"
I remember I was with my friend at school once and her friend who I didn't really know said to her "You should let her talk more" (referring to me). It was really freaking irritating.

Looking back, they may have said it out of discomfort or curiosity about who I was. Some people just want to get to know you. Or not, it could be to point you out because they are careless to realize what they're doing will make a quiet person upset.

Either way, I agree with you that people who are not quiet/shy/introverted can't possibly understand, especially if they're closed minded.


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## QuietLou (Aug 10, 2014)

I've had this my whole life. Just when I start to feel more comfortable and thinking maybe I could actually say something now - someone goes and says "you're so quiet!" or "gee, you don't say much do you" or (my favourite) "shut up will you and let someone else talk".

It certainly makes me feel worse, and draws everyone's attention to the fact as well, which is dead embarrassing. 

I can only say that now I'm older, I really don't give a rats a**. If people are going to be that rude and insensitive, I really don't care what they think.


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## louiselouisa (Jul 12, 2012)

I really HATE that comment, no such comment since 2010 thankfully. I personally think that's rude, I've been there so I know I'd better not comment when people are indeed quiet. But most people aren't shy so they don't know if it's rude, they just point it out because well that's what's standing out about you. That's just like some people can say you look like someone unflattering. Most people just suck it up but you can't because that's the aspect that you really hate about yourself.

Since I've been there, I know, when people are pointing out that you're quiet, you assume you look like a quiet freak because you saw it, everyone have seen that person that was often be the butt of the jokes just because they were quiet and you deep down agree he/she looked like a freak or maybe you are that person/have been that person. But it's not always that, some people are genuinely quiet without any underlying issues and they don't look like that and people still point it out to them.

It can be that you indeed look funny and awkward but unless you're a teenager, I find that unlikely.


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## chicagochuck (Jan 23, 2012)

Yeah Iv been there numerous times. It makes you feel so awkward. The best thing to do is talk more when you get to an event. Be a smart ***, that's my personality anyway but of course its harder to do in certain settings. My personality is punch lines and silly comments not loud conversation.


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