# How to tell a guy I like him without being rejected?



## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

Usually, if I get interested in a man I tell him directly about it. But all the guys I had been fond of said they didn't like me that much and didn't want to develop anything in common with me. What am I doing wrong? I understand that guys prefer chasing the women they like and as long as they are chased by some woman they get some negative feeling maybe? But what can I do to kindle his attraction? Advice would be appreciated.


----------



## breezyfun711 (Oct 22, 2014)

*Easy.*

Approach them the way you like and if they aren't interested, move on. You should never settle for a person who isn't your type. There are billions. Just gotta meet more of them. It's a numbers game.


----------



## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

1. Be attractive.
2. Don't be unattractive.

The only feasible option, especially if you want to avoid bullying/public humiliation, is to wait and hope that a guy finds you attractive enough to approach. It sucks, but that's the way it is.


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

tbyrfan said:


> 1. Be attractive.
> 2. Don't be unattractive.


Basically..

Let's be honest, if he doesn't find you attractive there's no way that you can ask him out that's going to make him want to date you.

I'm also not convinced that men are anywhere near as 'convince-able' as women are. I think they're much less likely to change their mind as they get to know you compared to women. That's not to say that this is an impossibility but I would not hold out hope, put it that way.

Don't waste your time trying to convince someone, get to know people and find someone who _is_ attracted to you.


----------



## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

Are you actually telling them you like them? I think if someone _told _me that they liked me rather than showed me, I'd run a mile. That feels like a lot of pressure, but on the other hand, I'm easily spooked.

I have literally 0 romantic successes under my belt so idk if this is **** advice, but maybe just try to angle towards asking him out when you talk to him one day? Some kind of "we should go for a drink sometime" slipped into the conversation. If he's interested, he'll probably ask for your number or something - if he isn't, he'll just say "maybe sometime" and change the subject.

I don't think that most people are 'convinceable', as Persephone said. But I also think that knowing someone is interested in you can spark your curiosity for that person... if you're already slightly interested. What's already there might increase, but I don't think you can create it out of nothing.


----------



## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

I don't know nobody ever liked me much ...


----------



## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

Most people are aware of more subtle hints, saying things indirectly like suggesting that you have nothing do on X day, or mentioning that you're hungry and feel like eating, if he's interested he'll pick up on that and take the initiative to ask you out, and if he's not interested he'll know what's up and ignore it. If that's what you mean by rejection, that is, you don't need to be so obvious that he'd be forced to reject, you can leave him the option to just not pursue and no one has to get rejected.


----------



## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Even when there's been some mutual attraction, I've been running away from potential relationships recently. Not willing to let someone else get too close to me right now, too painful when it inevitably falls apart. This is more a SA dude issue though, don't let one or two rejections stop you ladies from taking the first step.


----------



## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

I don't think anyone can answer the question in the post re: what you're doing "wrong" so I agree that if they're not into it, that's okay, there will be others. 

The title seems to ask a different question though. I don't think you can tell someone you like them without a possibility of rejection short of saying, "Don't say anything even if you share my feelings!" : P Good for you for putting it out there though. You'll never have to look back and wonder.


----------



## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

hey, i like you and dont reject me


----------



## slowlyimproving (Jan 2, 2014)

eveningbat said:


> Usually, if I get interested in a man I tell him directly about it. But all the guys I had been fond of said they didn't like me that much and didn't want to develop anything in common with me. What am I doing wrong? I understand that guys prefer chasing the women they like and as long as they are chased by some woman they get some negative feeling maybe? But what can I do to kindle his attraction? Advice would be appreciated.


It's always good to be direct! But are you genuinely trying to get to know him? Is he trying to get to know you? Do you guys talk and laugh a lot? Your situation is unique. He will need to fall in love with you before you even date as you're in a foreign country.

Love takes time. It can't be: I'm a woman, you're a good looking man, let's get married...I mean, you could do it that way but it won't work out.

......He could be worried that you just want a foreign husband so that you can leave your country?.......I don't know.

Ask him how he feels about you.


----------



## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

if woman came to be and said basically ' hey, I have seen you around, and i like you'' I think i;d be very taken aback, but I would be pleased. But conversely it maybe could be too much for a guy , because its very direct approach. However I maybe would need some time for it to sink in and make me mind up about , before going further.


----------



## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

KILOBRAVO said:


> if woman came to be and said basically ' hey, I have seen you around, and i like you'' I think i;d be very taken aback, but I would be pleased. But conversely it maybe could be too much for a guy , because its very direct approach. However I maybe would need some time for it to sink in and make me mind up about , before going further.


OK, so what's the right approach?


----------



## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

Reading the answers I am getting more and more depressed. But thanks for responding nevertheless, folks.


----------



## breezyfun711 (Oct 22, 2014)

*The best approach*

is to be so content with yourself and your own pursuits in life that you develop a relationship naturally with the type of person who naturally is attracted to who you really are. Getting exposure to lots of people raises the odds.


----------



## Marko3 (Mar 18, 2014)

breezyfun711 said:


> Approach them the way you like and if they aren't interested, move on. You should never settle for a person who isn't your type. There are billions. Just gotta meet more of them. It's a numbers game.


yes



eveningbat said:


> OK, so what's the right approach?


I don't think there is right approach... idk but mostly one must not act desperate.. yet we all know how tough it is .. when you're getting towards 30 and over .. and still single..



Shameful said:


> Most people are aware of more subtle hints, saying things indirectly like suggesting that you have nothing do on X day, or mentioning that you're hungry and feel like eating, if he's interested he'll pick up on that and take the initiative to ask you out, and if he's not interested he'll know what's up and ignore it. If that's what you mean by rejection, that is, you don't need to be so obvious that he'd be forced to reject, you can leave him the option to just not pursue and no one has to get rejected.


the problem is... males and females think a bit differently because of hormones.. when something is obvious to female, a man has no clue what is she about.. males are direct, females indirect.. but then again it is a problem if female is direct as many ppl have already said it on forums... u don't want to look desperate..



breezyfun711 said:


> is to be so content with yourself and your own pursuits in life that you develop a relationship naturally with the type of person who naturally is attracted to who you really are. Getting exposure to lots of people raises the odds.


Yes.... again

Don't try to be something you are not just to get your bf or gf... if fake, it will eventually backfire later in relationship and Life..


----------



## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Persephone The Dread said:


> I'm also not convinced that men are anywhere near as 'convince-able' as women are. I think they're much less likely to change their mind as they get to know you compared to women.


Agreed. If they aren't completely satisfied with how you look, nothing you say or do will make them like you.



lisbeth said:


> but maybe just try to angle towards asking him out when you talk to him one day? Some kind of "we should go for a drink sometime" slipped into the conversation.


That's not "angling towards" asking him out, that's directly asking him out.



lisbeth said:


> If he's interested, he'll probably ask for your number or something - if he isn't, he'll just say "maybe sometime" and change the subject.


Or, you know, he'll publicly humiliate you for thinking you had a chance with him and continue to try and make your life a living hell for months on end. There's that.


----------



## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

tbyrfan said:


> That's not "angling towards" asking him out, that's directly asking him out.


I dunno. I'd see "Do you want to go for a drink on Tuesday?" as asking someone out, and "yknow, we should get a coffee sometime" as a weaselly angling-towards indirect way of asking someone out. I prefer that type due to being a coward.



tbyrfan said:


> Or, you know, he'll publicly humiliate you for thinking you had a chance with him and continue to try and make your life a living hell for months on end. There's that.


Or he could be a serial killer and murder you in your bed.


----------



## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

lisbeth said:


> Or he could be a serial killer and murder you in your bed.


Being humiliated for asking someone out happens way more than you think. If you're an unattractive woman, it's almost guaranteed.


----------



## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

lisbeth said:


> Or he could be a serial killer and murder you in your bed.


:lol
Yeah, there are so many risks that could happen, with anything you do. Some fears, like that a grown man would harass you for months because you said 'lets get drinks' are so remote a possibility that you can't limit your life because you're afraid of it.


----------



## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

tbyrfan said:


> Being humiliated for asking someone out happens way more than you think. If you're an unattractive woman, it's almost guaranteed.


Unattractive women have a hard time in life, no two ways about it. I know that some men can be really nasty to unattractive women. But I just don't think what you described is at all realistic in adulthood. It happens at school when you're a teenager, but in adulthood (including university/college) I just can't picture it. If not for any other reason, then because why would you keep in enough contact with that person for them to be able to 'make your life a living hell for months on end'?

What do you think would actually happen, specifically?



Shameful said:


> :lol
> Yeah, there are so many risks that could happen, with anything you do. Some fears, like that a grown man would harass you for months because you said 'lets get drinks' are so remote a possibility that you can't limit your life because you're afraid of it.


Yeah, sounds like SA talking to me.


----------



## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

What kind of emotional connection already exists with these guys you are interested in?


----------



## Marko3 (Mar 18, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Do you think looking desperate is a legitimate concern? I feel like the main concern should be whether the guy finds you attractive or not. But then some guys like to initiate and like chasing women. I think if the dynamics were changed they wouldn't like that, I dunno maybe guys would get used to it? It does seem to be a cultural thing. I know a few Australian users on this site say they've been approached by women many times and make it sound like it's common place there.
> 
> I also know guys on this site say they want more women to approach but I wonder if that's just because they're not comfortable approaching + even on this site of all places I've seen people say they would be uncomfortable with a woman approaching them because they like chasing women so...
> 
> I guess looking desperate occasionally is just something you have to deal with. It does make you feel as a woman like you are worth less I think if you have to do the approaching, that's what society really tries to drill into your head. I've seen people say that guys will think they can get further with you too if you approach first, like they have the upper hand because you approached them, but I'm not sure how true/widespread that sort of thinking is.. But that thinking is definitely toxic and should be ignored/discouraged.


Yes, I think looking desperate is the biggest party killer.. you shouldn't worry about being attractive too much.. just be yourself.. not fake...

Sadly when girls approach you in desperate fashion.. you can't prevent your subconscious to think that this girl has some serious SA issue or that girl had lots of "bad relationship" cases, so it must be something with her..


----------



## Raeden (Feb 8, 2013)

Get him into your house before you admit to your feelings. If he originally rejects, then you can lock him in your basement and keep him as prisoner until Stockholm syndrome sets in and he finally falls in wuv with you.


----------



## Marko3 (Mar 18, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> what would be a desperate approach though? How do you not look desperate?
> 
> You can't be too vague but you can't be too obvious... So I guess...
> 
> ...


lol yeah.. hehe

and I was approached by one girl.. damn she was desperate.. for sex I guess.. when I deciphered her sentences..

Average man would think I'm kraazy, considering the fact I'm a V, and she was quite beautiful.. yet my subconscious said no, after mere 357miliseconds.. u can't be desperate like that.. no girl no..
lol I told her she's beautiful and lol that I have a gf.. she blushed in embarrassment:b


----------



## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

lisbeth said:


> Unattractive women have a hard time in life, no two ways about it. I know that some men can be really nasty to unattractive women. But I just don't think what you described is at all realistic in adulthood. It happens at school when you're a teenager, but in adulthood (including university/college) I just can't picture it. If not for any other reason, then because why would you keep in enough contact with that person for them to be able to 'make your life a living hell for months on end'?
> 
> What do you think would actually happen, specifically?


It does happen in adulthood, just not as much. People don't just stop being nasty as soon as they turn 21. And you don't have to keep contact with the person - they could be a co-worker, a friend of a friend, someone you don't have much control over being around.

What would happen if the person were an adult? They would probably snub you and then just continue acting disgusted by you.



lisbeth said:


> Yeah, sounds like SA talking to me.


Or, you know, actually experiencing, witnessing, and hearing about people experience it...


----------



## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

eveningbat said:


> Usually, if I get interested in a man I tell him directly about it. But all the guys I had been fond of said they didn't like me that much and didn't want to develop anything in common with me. What am I doing wrong? *I understand that guys prefer chasing the women they like* and as long as they are chased by some woman they get some negative feeling maybe? But what can I do to kindle his attraction? Advice would be appreciated.


Firstly, the part I bolded in your quote...please forget about this age old tradition. Times have changed.

Ok, well I think that some don't feel comfortable with that type of blunt approach. Rather than telling him you like him, *show* that you like him. If he has good senses, he will figure it out...but I guess some can be oblivious unless you're more direct. Once you see he's comfortable with you, then that may be a good time to tell him that you like him. Maybe you're falling for these guys too soon. After you realize that you have feelings, how long do you wait until you tell your guy? Has the relationship progressed to that point? Ask these questions to yourself next time and you may see that it isn't the right time yet.

...also you shouldn't blame yourself when someone doesn't respond positively to you. Some of these people may have their own issues preventing them from feeling a connection towards you. Everyone has the right to choose who they want to be with...so don't take it too personally(though I can see how rejection after rejection would make you feel like there is something wrong with you...maybe you just haven't talked to the right person yet)


----------



## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Basically..
> 
> Let's be honest, if he doesn't find you attractive there's no way that you can ask him out that's going to make him want to date you.
> 
> ...


Even if you do manage to attract him, how long will that last?

Dating because of some superficial qualities is setting yourself up for disaster...


----------



## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

jsgt said:


> Firstly, the part I bolded in your quote...please forget about this age old tradition. Times have changed.
> 
> [...]


There may be a cultural aspect to the OP's beliefs. For all we know most (I won't say all) Ukranian guys may like to do the chasing more than they like to be chased. I don't know. So my advice to the OP would be to take note of what the girls you know who have a successful dating life are "doing right" and modify your approach accordingly--to the extent that you are comfortable with and without compromising your own principles, of course.

It may also be that you are going for a certain "type" of guy (e.g., guys who have little in common with you, picky guys, guys who are emotionally distant/unavailable for one reason or another, etc) and essentially setting yourself up for failure. It might be worth examining your past targets and seeing if there's a common theme there. Sometimes the problem is them, not you.


----------



## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

There are never any guarantees when it comes to asking someone out or telling them that you like them. There is no foolproof method that will ensure that you don't get rejected.

It depends on your relationship/interactions with the guy, @eveningbat. Has he given you any hints that he would be interested in you in a romantic way?


----------



## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

If he likes you the way won't really matter. If he doesn't it won't either.


----------



## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

tbyrfan said:


> Being humiliated for asking someone out happens way more than you think. If you're an unattractive woman, it's almost guaranteed.


Who says I am (or any of you are) unattractive? I think every woman has some unique, outstanding qualities and also, unique appearance. But it is not all about the looks.


----------



## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

KyleInSTL said:


> What kind of emotional connection already exists with these guys you are interested in?


Well, it's a local guy from the computer repair store. He has fixed my computer and also, he invited me to get in touch if I have some further questions. But I guess it was just a gesture of courtesy. He was here at my home but I was so confused that didn't even offer him a cup of tea. :afr


----------



## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

Darktower776 said:


> There are never any guarantees when it comes to asking someone out or telling them that you like them. There is no foolproof method that will ensure that you don't get rejected.
> 
> It depends on your relationship/interactions with the guy, @eveningbat. Has he given you any hints that he would be interested in you in a romantic way?


I am not even sure those are hints. Maybe he was just polite.


----------



## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

jsgt said:


> Firstly, the part I bolded in your quote...please forget about this age old tradition. Times have changed.
> 
> Ok, well I think that some don't feel comfortable with that type of blunt approach. Rather than telling him you like him, *show* that you like him. If he has good senses, he will figure it out...but I guess some can be oblivious unless you're more direct. Once you see he's comfortable with you, then that may be a good time to tell him that you like him. Maybe you're falling for these guys too soon. After you realize that you have feelings, how long do you wait until you tell your guy? Has the relationship progressed to that point? Ask these questions to yourself next time and you may see that it isn't the right time yet.
> 
> ...also you shouldn't blame yourself when someone doesn't respond positively to you. Some of these people may have their own issues preventing them from feeling a connection towards you. Everyone has the right to choose who they want to be with...so don't take it too personally(though I can see how rejection after rejection would make you feel like there is something wrong with you...maybe you just haven't talked to the right person yet)


Thanks. This sounds rational.


----------



## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

Marko3 said:


> lol yeah.. hehe
> 
> and I was approached by one girl.. damn she was desperate.. for sex I guess.. when I deciphered her sentences..
> 
> ...


Oh, you lied her??? :bat This proves once again that it is not worth dealing with men at all.


----------



## Terranaut (Jul 11, 2013)

tbyrfan said:


> 1. Be attractive.
> 2. Don't be unattractive.
> 
> ....


Hahahaha. ^

Do you sense any interest in you from him? If not, you should probably take some steps to get noticed by him and see if he engages with you at all. If he doesn't than it probably isn't happening. But the way you sound so soundly rejected implies you need to "get better game". Invest in the long haul and work on a style--a mystique of sorts that makes men want to find out about you. Don't be so obvious. Personally, I respond to forward females but I'm not your standard guy.


----------



## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

Terranaut said:


> Hahahaha. ^
> 
> Do you sense any interest in you from him? If not, you should probably take some steps to get noticed by him and see if he engages with you at all. If he doesn't than it probably isn't happening. But the way you sound so soundly rejected implies you need to "get better game". *Invest in the long haul and work on a style--a mystique of sorts that makes men want to find out about you. Don't be so obvious*. Personally, I respond to forward females but I'm not your standard guy.


Examples, please.


----------



## Terranaut (Jul 11, 2013)

eveningbat said:


> Examples, please.


You're 29. You may, for instance, not yet be fully free of the virtual placenta of youth and its stations and obsessions. I passed shortly after your age into a self-assuredness of true adulthood where I had found reason to believe that my mind was as unique and perceptive as any in all of time. I tore off the placenta that remained and I went through a complete self-transformation between 30 and 31.

I had lived with someone for 5 years and we broke up. My job changed I knew I was going to be more visible than at any other time in my life. I relished it--only to know that unless my image was addressed I might not achieve the respect I deserved. So I really sustained a diet all the way to ideal weight and for the first time, began to become fashion conscious. I stopped "hiding in plain sight" and went out of my way to dress for success. I cleaned up my act and stopped smoking and took on the look of a confident man of purpose. I got on a subway train and heard one woman say to another about me "now that's the way a man SHOULD look". That blew my previously sagging ego through the roof. I asserted myself at my job and at night school.

I realized that before that time I had no role model or anyone giving me personal advice. I worked on Wall Stret but wore things like cowboy boots, leather vests, corduroy trousers, big umpa-lumpa shoes. No more of that. I wore double-breasted blue pin-stripe suits, two-tone fitted shirts (white collar with with either a blue or a masculine shade of pink shirt) bought at least one new tie each week--designers like Fendi, Massoni. If I wore a maroon belt, I'd wear Italian maroon shoes. I took initiative at work and won a $20K special award for innovation, bought a new car, moved from Brooklyn to co-op in upper Manhattan. People talked about me no longer as an office guy but someone breaking out where others were aging.

I had seven relationships in that first year and got over the ones that didn't work out with haste. I joined trade associations and attended presentations and cocktail parties for the self-motivated comers who wanted to put themselves on the forefront of technology at the time. I had women trying to get my attention but I wasn't a **** or cavalier about relationships. I could have been a womanizer but I chose to keep a mystique rather than be gossiped about.

I got to be known by magazine writers and made friends with people in the arts. I went to School of Visual Arts in NYC for a few semesters and got my employer to pay for it as a pre-cursor for a computer touch screen training program. I even took a "voice-over" workshop where I learned that I have a New Yawk accent and needed to learn to speak commercial American. It put me on the spot a lot to speak in front of people and even create character voices. It was a lot of laughs and I began to look around and truly feel peerless. Everyone else I knew were married and doing what they were going to be going with their lives. I was free to explore several traditionally separate fields. And it wound up in the development of a grand vision that remains mine and mine alone.

At 29 you, like me, may still be attached to the forces that shaped you as a young person--but with resolve, dilligence and certainty in yourself that you will make the most of your uniqueness, men and women will admire you if you fill in your identity. I can only speak from a man's point of view but that experience led me by chance to become a credentialed journalist accredited to the UN Department of Public information where I spent the next decade participating in committees to reform the UN whilst continuing to build a deep understanding of the unfolding digital revolution. I am aware of models of journalism and politics which if funded and staffed could change what is thought of as human history as it will no longer be influenced by commercialism and sensationalism--only progress. I see this as THE way to challenge the young to lead the real Information Technology evolution to a purposeful climax where they trade in some out-dated education for the experience of creating new economy and fulfilling the mission of advancing us all to a next level of civilization.

I live eternally hopeful and certain I know the way. Make the most of everything in these very years you are entering and you will find out how distinctly worthy and valuable a woman can become. Best of luck.


----------



## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

tbyrfan said:


> It does happen in adulthood, just not as much. People don't just stop being nasty as soon as they turn 21. And you don't have to keep contact with the person - they could be a co-worker, a friend of a friend, someone you don't have much control over being around.


People don't stop being nasty as soon as they turn 21, but they aren't nasty in the same way. Social norms get in the way of that. If adults bullied each other in the way that teenagers do, they'd become social outcasts themselves.

If someone's a coworker or a friend of a friend you'd know them a bit before you asked them out, so wouldn't you have an idea of whether they were one of these psychopaths?



tbyrfan said:


> What would happen if the person were an adult? They would probably snub you and then just continue acting disgusted by you.


That sounds a bit different from _"Or, you know, he'll publicly humiliate you for thinking you had a chance with him and continue to try and make your life a living hell for months on end."_

Being snubbed feels humiliating, but I think it's easy for people like us to overreact because of SA. Because of our perception, we can build things up into a lot more than they really are. On the other person's side, they might just be avoiding you because they feel awkward and don't want to encourage an interest they don't return. It doesn't necessarily mean they hate you.

I just can't picture the harrassment for months part. I find it hard to believe anyone could be so sad and pathetic. Even if they are a dick, why would someone spend so much of their own time and energy doing that? Why would they actively seek someone out to be vindictive to them? Don't they have their own life going on? I find that so hard to believe. As a teenager, you're in the same building every day and teenagers have nothing better to do. But even I, who really don't get out much, can't imagine being enough of a loser to send someone mean text messages, let alone harrass them in person. When I dislike someone, I'd rather not see them. I find it hard to believe somebody 'normal' would care enough to make bothering you their life goal.


----------



## Marko3 (Mar 18, 2014)

eveningbat said:


> Oh, you lied her??? :bat This proves once again that it is not worth dealing with men at all.


hehe..  .. . lol at that angry smiley..


----------



## Marko3 (Mar 18, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> huh?
> 
> Was it the way she approached? Or just that she approached in the first place? (I'm a little confused by your posts)


Hehe..yeah, my posts are confusing sometimes.. since I have like zero relationship experiences.. it always stops before it even starts..

Yes. It was the way she approached. I was already in the phase where I would probably be willing to have a relationship.. but she came up on me desperate.. She was looking at me as if I was Brad Pitt or something "Hey, hai! I never seen you before. Hey.. are there lost of cute boys where u work at? " And she would follow me around "Hey this.. Hey that!" and "Hey hey hey.. " And her face half embarrassed she would still flirt a lot...

Funny.. usually when I sense a girl finds me attractive my SA kicks in and kinda melt.. but this time it was different.. I immediately decided no in my mind... so I was at piece..and all kul.. so I rejected her in polite way I guess...


----------



## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

eveningbat said:


> Well, it's a local guy from the computer repair store. He has fixed my computer and also, he invited me to get in touch if I have some further questions. But I guess it was just a gesture of courtesy. He was here at my home but I was so confused that didn't even offer him a cup of tea. :afr


"I know we've only just met, but you're someone I'd like to get to know better and hope you'd like to have coffee with me."


----------



## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

eveningbat said:


> Oh, you lied her??? :bat This proves once again that it is not worth dealing with men at all.


OH you cant tar all men with the same brush!. .. too bad women just seem to ignore me and pass me by and say nothing to me, because I am sure they'd be glad to deal with me. No one seems willing to give me any chance at all. unless I am being too severe about this .


----------



## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

KILOBRAVO said:


> OH you cant tar all men with the same brush!. .. too bad women just seem to ignore me and pass me by and say nothing to me, because I am sure they'd be glad to deal with me. No one seems willing to give me any chance at all. unless I am being too severe about this .


Hey, this has nothing to do with you. Please do not be offended.


----------



## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

ah, no miss eveningbat.... its OK. .  there are some good men ...  I like to think I am one


----------



## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

lisbeth said:


> If adults bullied each other in the way that teenagers do, they'd become social outcasts themselves.


Nope, false.



lisbeth said:


> If someone's a coworker or a friend of a friend you'd know them a bit before you asked them out, so wouldn't you have an idea of whether they were one of these psychopaths?


No. People can be surprisingly rude and do unexpected things. I've been around guys that seemed like decent people until they found out that an unattractive or overweight girl liked them.



lisbeth said:


> That sounds a bit different from _"Or, you know, he'll publicly humiliate you for thinking you had a chance with him and continue to try and make your life a living hell for months on end."_
> 
> Being snubbed feels humiliating, but I think it's easy for people like us to overreact because of SA. Because of our perception, we can build things up into a lot more than they really are. On the other person's side, they might just be avoiding you because they feel awkward and don't want to encourage an interest they don't return. It doesn't necessarily mean they hate you.
> 
> I just can't picture the harrassment for months part. I find it hard to believe anyone could be so sad and pathetic. Even if they are a dick, why would someone spend so much of their own time and energy doing that? Why would they actively seek someone out to be vindictive to them? Don't they have their own life going on? I find that so hard to believe. As a teenager, you're in the same building every day and teenagers have nothing better to do. But even I, who really don't get out much, can't imagine being enough of a loser to send someone mean text messages, let alone harrass them in person. When I dislike someone, I'd rather not see them. I find it hard to believe somebody 'normal' would care enough to make bothering you their life goal.


There are some surprisingly mean people in this world. Adults are no exception. A lot of guys feel an intensely strong need to put an unattractive woman "in her place" and let her know that she's ugly. It's as if they think that she truly doesn't know. I'm not sure why they're like that.


----------



## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

KILOBRAVO said:


> ah, no miss eveningbat.... its OK. .  there are some good men ...  I like to think I am one


I know you are, Mr. Kilobravo.


----------



## UndreamingAwake (Apr 11, 2011)

You tell him you like him. If he likes you, he likes you and you won't be rejected. If he doesn't like you, you'll get rejected, regardless of what you do or say. That is something outside of your control.


----------



## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

eveningbat said:


> I know you are, Mr. Kilobravo.


what a nice compliment.! You must be a very nice woman too. I bet. ... Miss eveningbat. 

leos love compliments, it makes them ( sometimes ) go all soft and blushing.... inside they adore attention and compliments. But they like to hide that emotion outwardly sometimes.


----------

