# Can I cope in sixth form?



## anonymous1243 (Jun 19, 2013)

Hello!
So I'm going to sixth form this september (sixth form is the equivalent to the last two years in high school before college for americans, or so I believe), and I did not attend my last two years of (UK) high school due to depression and anxiety. I managed to get my GCSE's by attending a provisional school (a very small school so I never made friends or socialized) and I got into the sixth form of my choice, which is great! :clap 
But, unfortunately, due to my absence from the last two years of high school, I've been told I haven't fully matured mentally as I haven't had the experiences normal high school kids would have. Then I was told how mature everyone in sixth form is and I'm very afraid I won't fit in as I seem to be too, for lack of a better word, 'childish'.
Not only is this a problem but also the incident that occurred last year which stopped me attending school for two years, left me with crippling social anxiety and I physically cannot leave my house without having a panic attack or feeling sick. As you can imagine it is even worse when I have to speak to other people, it terrifies me and I stutter all over the place and I really cannot handle the situation.
I'm not so sure I'm cut out for the world, it's too scary.

Also, to elaborate on the whole 'maturity' thing, all my ex friends are going out and partying and smoking weed and pulling pranks and just having good old teenage fun. I've never participated in anything like that and I fear I never will, I fear I have lost my chance. Everyone in sixth form is there for a reason and they would want to focus on their studies rather than stupid teenager things as they have already experienced it, or so I'm told. 

So basically I guess I'm here to ask about your opinions about the situation; am I seemingly able to go to sixth form? Is there any way I can still do the fun teenager things that I missed out on? And how can someone with severe social anxiety cope in a school of nearly 4000 students?

Thanks ever so much!


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## boas (Jun 9, 2013)

In my experience it's not an environment strictly conducive to making friends because everyone has a different timetable. It's unlikely you'll share more than a single class with any one person. Then again, I only attended classes then went home; perhaps I would've fared better had I immersed myself in the community by joining clubs and societies. I wouldn't be daunted by the whole 4000 students thing though, because like I said, only a few hundred are ever there at any one time. People generally don't hang around once their classes are finished in my experience.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

I went to a very small sixth form - less than 200 students - attached to the secondary school I'd been at since I was eleven, so my experiences aren't really relevant here. But I just wanted to say, you'll be okay and you will survive. I had a terrible time with depression and social anxiety in sixth form which left me terrified even to talk to people, but even though I didn't really make friends nobody gave me any ****. I may not have been invited to a single party in the whole two years, but I got through it and I left with grades that allowed me to make a fresh start at university. It wasn't fun, but it wasn't actively miserable - it was just dull and lonely. I was okay. You will be too.



anonymous1243 said:


> But, unfortunately, due to my absence from the last two years of high school, I've been told I haven't fully matured mentally as I haven't had the experiences normal high school kids would have. Then I was told how mature everyone in sixth form is and I'm very afraid I won't fit in as I seem to be too, for lack of a better word, 'childish'.


If you haven't had those experiences it's inevitable that you'll be greener and more sheltered than your peers, but that isn't necessarily the same thing as being childish. What makes you call yourself that?



anonymous1243 said:


> Not only is this a problem but also the incident that occurred last year which stopped me attending school for two years, left me with crippling social anxiety and I physically cannot leave my house without having a panic attack or feeling sick. As you can imagine it is even worse when I have to speak to other people, it terrifies me and I stutter all over the place and I really cannot handle the situation.
> I'm not so sure I'm cut out for the world, it's too scary.


This anxiety is going to be a much bigger problem than your lack of social experience. I know how tough it is to survive in school with that, because I had the same thing myself: I was pretty mute most of the time and would shake like a leaf if someone spoke to me. Constant fight or flight mode. It's exhausting. I didn't get any help for my anxiety until after I left school, but I hope you already are. You shouldn't have to live with that.

Honestly, if you're still suffering from agoraphobia it may be that you're not ready to start sixth form yet. There's no shame in that. I think it's better to take more time off and try to recover in smaller ways (maybe getting out of your house to volunteer or join local groups/clubs/classes, or something) before doing something as constant, committed and high-pressure as sixth form.



> Also, to elaborate on the whole 'maturity' thing, all my ex friends are going out and partying and smoking weed and pulling pranks and just having good old teenage fun. I've never participated in anything like that and I fear I never will, I fear I have lost my chance. Everyone in sixth form is there for a reason and they would want to focus on their studies rather than stupid teenager things as they have already experienced it, or so I'm told.


Honestly? In my sixth form, people were still doing that. People tried harder in class than they did at GCSE, but to say people are there for a purpose and will focus on that purpose is just wishful thinking - especially after the law changed and you can't leave school 'til 17 (or whatever age it is now). Some people are going to work hard and other people won't want to be there at all. It's a mixture.

My sixth form was maybe a bit grubbier than most (small town, nothing to do) but there were a loooot of drugs going round. A lot. The drinking got a bit more controlled, though, because it migrated to pubs and clubs rather than fields and empty houses like it had been before. Either way, people haven't got it out of their system - most people haven't until after university.

I don't think you should worry too much about that, though. There are going to be an awful lot of people who don't do all that and never have, as well as people who haven't yet and are just starting. Befriend the nerds and the introverts and the overachievers if you want to skip out on all that stuff. I managed to avoid it, though not really on purpose. I would've liked to join in, but it was out of my reach with SA.



> So basically I guess I'm here to ask about your opinions about the situation; am I seemingly able to go to sixth form? Is there any way I can still do the fun teenager things that I missed out on? And how can someone with severe social anxiety cope in a school of nearly 4000 students?
> 
> Thanks ever so much!


Only you can judge whether you're ready to go to sixth form. If I were you I might wait until my SA was a little improved if it's as severe as you describe, in order to give yourself the best shot at succeeding once you get there. But on the other hand, you won't be able to do things until you actually start doing them. Nobody is ever totally ready for anything, and better to begin before you're ready than never begin at all. I'm assuming you'll be starting in September, in which case you have four months to get into a better place before you start. If you do something with that time and find a bit more balance through it, you're going to be fine.

As for the teenager things that you missed out on - yes! I missed out on those things entirely as a teenager and am catching up with them now at the age of 19 and 20. The opportunities might get pushed back but they don't just disappear. It's never too late to act like a complete dickhead.


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## anonymous1243 (Jun 19, 2013)

Thank you, to both of you, you were extremely helpful and I'm very grateful! i will try to improve and reduce my SA over the summer and take things one step at a time. Thanks


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