# How I overcame anxiety!!! Must read



## jnwoods

Hello all,

Part of me doesn't want to write this because I hate revisiting the past (aka a 6-7 months ago), but I feel like I owe it to share how I overcame SA. First off let me tell you that anxiety is something that can be overcome in a short period of time. Anyone telling you that you just have to deal or "cope" with it for the rest of your life is talking completely out of their ***. What anxiety does, is control you completely. Anxiety wants you to continue to stay in your room, and not go out, but that is exactly what you have to do to get out of it.

I was always somewhat shy, but I didn't have any serious anxiety until I reached high school. Coming back to high school my senior year was one of the hardest periods of my life. I had spent the summer with less social interaction than usual, on the computer most of the time working on building websites and learning new things on the internet which is something I love to do. I didn't even realize where my life was headed due to the complete negligence of my social life. Coming back my senior year I was completely broken. I couldn't even look people in the eye, or talk to people face to face in social situations. My anxiety had reached a point to where it was absolutely terrible, and I had no idea what was going on with my brain. I went into a deep depression and honestly wanted to end my life. Never had I been so torn and embarrassed. My friends didn't understand my anxiety and the whole experience was horrific. Eventually I got out of my depression, but my anxiety still continued to make my life miserable. I felt like I honestly was just getting older and my life was wasting away, because I was not really living it. I tried taking Paxil, Xanax, and a few herbal remedies but nothing worked, they just made me tired. I tried talking to a few counselors, and although they meant the best, they did nothing for me. Going into college my anxiety still existed, however I was introduced to things like alchohol and pot brownies, which temporarily made me forget about my anxiety, and get a taste of life. I came back from the university I was at after one year because I was unsure on exactly what I wanted to do career wise. I moved back in with my parents, and began attending community college. Although I made some great friends at cc, my anxiety became even worse because I was not living with a bunch of people in a social environment (aka the dorms). My life had become: go to school, go home, hop on the internet, occasionally go out on the weekends for an uncomfortable social experience, repeat. I had a small amount of friends, but I was not making many new friends, and had become mostly awkward in social situations.

Anyways I realized anxiety was a large part of my life, and was in fact inhibiting me from living, but I didn't know what to do&#8230;so I tried everything. I journaled, I practiced meditation, I tried envisioning what I wanted while in certain situations, I tried envisioning myself as another person while in social situations (sometimes worked), I tried reading up on Buddhist principles, I studied concepts on the ego, I started reading researchers like Eckhart Tolle, I attended social anxiety meet-ups and guess what!?! None of it really worked for me! My brain just went back to normal anxiety.

Then like a blessing from the gods, I ran across daygame & pick-up artists on Youtube. For those that aren't familiar, day game is when guy's go to talk to women during the day, in an effort to try to create some sort of relationship, or just have sex. What these guys do is throw themselves into situations normal people wouldn't in order to talk to a girl they are attracted to. This was such a new concept to me and I was totally enthralled because I had no idea that people did this. Watching these videos one night literally empowered me the following day to become a little flirtatious while at school, and talk to girls more. I also began talking to people more in general. I continued learning more about pick-up online and even joined a local group of other individuals who did day game on a regular basis. Through pick-up I found my life completely changing before my eyes. I was doing things I had never done, and I had never felt so alive in my life. I was literally starting conversations with girls who I would normally just say nothing to&#8230;strangers in line who I would normally just say nothing to, etc. I started to get a few phone numbers from this and I honestly felt like a brand new person. I was getting better not only at talking to girls, but talking with strangers, talking with friends, and talking with my family! (one of the greatest rewards). I actually was able to sit face to face with my mom and my dad at a dinner table, without feeling uncomfortable. Through pick-up I changed from the guy who would go out to clubs and parties with a friend and not talk to anyone new, to the guy who would go to clubs and parties and talk to the hottest girls there. Through pick-up, I literally talked to a girl while she was working at the mall, got her number, and had sex with her a week later the first time we hung out. At age 20, I had never had sex in my life. Pick-up and learning game gave me the confidence to do things I had never imagined, and my life has completely changed because of it.

The trick to overcoming social anxiety, is to go out and physically do what you fear the most, not to read or think too much by yourself. When you read and think you become too much in your head, disconnected from reality and the people around you. Your perception of reality becomes completely distorted, because you are looking at the world from inside a bubble. Being alone can be a place of comfort for someone who has anxiety, but what you have to do if you really want to live, is continue to push the boundaries of what comfortable is. Really develop the habit of talking to others while you are out running errands or doing what you need to do during the day. Talk to a random person, or strike up a quick conversation with the cashier. Let me tell you, this may be extremely uncomfortable at first&#8230;but KEEP DOING IT! The more you continue to talk to random people and really open yourself up, the quicker you will see your anxiety begin to fade. The key so success is consistency and persistence. Yell really loudly out the window while you are driving, give a high five to a stranger, all of these things are things you can do to get your loose and out of your head.

My social anxiety is a thing of the past and it can be for you to. The thing I hate the most on these forums is the depressing posts from people who say SA is a part of them and will continue to ruin their lives forever. Which therefore makes it necessary to live by yourself in sorrow and waste your life away. F*** THAT! Do I ever have anxiety now? Very small amounts here and there if I find myself in my head after a long day of work, but NOTHING and I repeat NOTHING like it was. I can have normal conversations, do normal activities, and LIVE MY LIFE! It's liberating. In addition to pick-up, I recommend checking out Toastmasters for improving public speaking, which is something I did for a bit as well. Anyways here are a few videos and links I will share with you guys. If you have any questions, feel free to email me at . I am here to help people.

Sasha Daygame:













Real Social Dynamics: Listen to these guys! They will help you change your life!









Other random pick-up vids:













Remember, you are in control of your life and how you live it. Break habits, and slowly begin to dive into the situations that are uncomfortable to you as that is the only way you will get through this. Cheers.


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## ak3891

dude this thread is beautiful because its so true.


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## ak3891

but whats upsetting to me is that you clearly put your heart out on this response and people won't comment positive things on it to show its been seen. Just shows some people can't be cured with that type of attitude. Its annoying at the same time, the amount of threads I've seen where everyone rushes to be the first to comment on something pointless. 
I am going to copy this for referral in the future.


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## Beingofglass

Da *** did I just read?


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## Final Fantasy

It also bugs me when people say that they will never get rid of anxiety because it's "part of them". Yes anxiety can be a normal bodily reaction but saying things like this is just defeatist and makes it sound like nobody can ever recover or make steps towards recovery. 

Nobody has to be a slave to their anxious feelings that are really just that --- feelings. They do not define you as a person at all.


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## Astrofreak6

Very good indeed! I also notice that! That the more time passes and the more I put myself out there my anxiety tends to ease! The worst thing a person can do is to cut everyone off and think that they are being left behind! I used to think that, but guess what, that a BIG lie! Fortunately


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## Kaisser

This is so motivating 
You saved my day, thank you ^^


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## MusingForX

nice sales pitch.... yawn..


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## jnwoods

@Ak thanks man I'm glad you agree. @Final Fantasy & Astro you guys are spot on. Staying inside and not pushing outside of your comfort zone means you are not growing as a person. SA is definitely something that can be very temporary for those who are willing to continuously push their limits and thus break free of those irrational fears. Having the mindset that you are stuck in this forever(not true) will hold you back. @Kaisser glad I could help  @MusingforX what product am I selling here? these are my life experiences. If anyone has any questions or could use some advice feel free to shoot me an email anytime


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## MusingForX

Pick up artists are so freaking childish. 

Coupled with a letter that seems straight out of affiliated marketing 101 school ( and some well placed shills), you have sociopaths being sociopaths.


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## Esugi78

It's good stuff but I think it's very dismissive of you to say that people that feel like they're trapped with SA their whole life is BS, there are degrees of SA and while some are just might be that bad, some people with very bad SA probably had to work really hard just to cope with it. If you get over it then grats to you but that by no means you should be dismissive of others' efforts.


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## jnwoods

@Musingforx, it is obvious that you are very bitter about something and you aren't content with some portion of your life, but isn't this community about building each other up and congratulating others about their triumphs over SA? I am not telling you to go out and be a pick-up artist, I am just saying look at what these guys do right and maybe try to apply it to your life. Throw yourself outside of your comfort zone, talk to a random person. Don't sit on this forum close minded and angry.
@Esugi78 yes I agree with you that everybody is different in their levels of anxiety. What I am suggesting is getting out of the mindset that you cannot significantly change your life, and stop thinking that these serious problems will continue to hinder the way you live for the rest of your life...like there is no way out of the tunnel. YOU HAVE ONE LIFE! I believe that everyone can eventually break free from a majority of their anxiety if they are persistent in creating new habits. I had SA VERY VERY bad, and now it is on an insignificant level in my life. My path to getting through SA may not be the same as everyone else's, and I know some people probably have had SA much longer than I did, but to those people I would emphasize trying to conquer rather than cope. Take those big scary risks and continue to take them regularly because eventually they will help you grow as a person and break past those things you used to fear.


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## derpresion

this is bs, just by changing mindset you dont change how your brain is wired/been developed. and if you do you probably didnt have it that bad to begin with 

also just cause you got to talk to people after awhile doesnt mean you will be able to have so necessary great communicating skills :/

therapies, meditation, positive attitudes and like are all such a silly little shi t who even uses them..


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## jnwoods

@derpresion why don't you read my original post. I didn't just change my mindset I started taking action and then my mindset/outlook began to change by itself. Good luck


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## Ashley123

Hey! Thanks for posting this, it gives me hope to read about people who overcame their social anxiety.


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## MusingForX

jnwoods said:


> @Musingforx, it is obvious that you are very bitter about something and you aren't content with some portion of your life, but isn't this community about building each other up and congratulating others about their triumphs over SA? I am not telling you to go out and be a pick-up artist, I am just saying look at what these guys do right and maybe try to apply it to your life. Throw yourself outside of your comfort zone, talk to a random person. Don't sit on this forum close minded and angry.
> .


You have no idea who i am, so its alright if you think i am angry and etc... Youre just still a kid, so it's all good.

I call crap when i see it. Been there, done that.


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## xgodmetashogun

Awesome bro. The only way to success is to quit biitching and take action regardless of what you're feeling. Easier said than done tho.


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## forex

i thought he will come with something that will make sense , but eventually he links us to "pick-up" artist WTF ...


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## jnwoods

Thanks guys and best of luck to you all! You can and will overcome your Social Anxiety! Glad I could help some of you


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## Dalmat

It seems to be exposure therapy. And the way you did it will not work for most people. You cant talk to a girl if just walking around the streets makes you scared. If you do it in such way, anxiety would be too strong and you will not feel good after doing it, and if you dont feel god after, it will never become easier for you.

But first of all, you have to change your thinking patterns. For me personnaly, this approach made many things much easier to do. In the past, any time i threw myself in a hard situation, my anxiety only became stronger.


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## reaal

derpresion said:


> this is bs, *just by changing mindset you dont change how your brain is wired/been developed*. and if you do you probably didnt have it that bad to begin with
> 
> also just cause you got to talk to people after awhile doesnt mean you will be able to have so necessary great communicating skills :/
> 
> therapies, meditation, positive attitudes and like are all such a silly little shi t who even uses them..


you just completely contradicted yourself. obviously us SA'ers have wired our brains to be in our SA state we live in, so changing your mindset is the exact way to rewire them to be normal again. that's the only way to get rid of SA. I totally agree with the OP, its just so hard to get started as someone who has been struggling with SA for such a long time.


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## reaal

Dalmat said:


> It seems to be exposure therapy. And the way you did it will not work for most people. You cant talk to a girl if just walking around the streets makes you scared. If you do it in such way, anxiety would be too strong and you will not feel good after doing it, and if you dont feel god after, it will never become easier for you.
> 
> But first of all, you have to change your thinking patterns. For me personnaly, this approach made many things much easier to do. In the past, any time i threw myself in a hard situation, my anxiety only became stronger.


i think this is spot on. it is exposure therapy. so maybe this exact method will not work for everyone, but everyone does have their own way of counteracting their SA with exposure therapy. whether it be talking to girls in public, or speaking to a family member alone. whatever it is that causes your anxiety, you have to face it, and conquer it.


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## jimity

Dalmat said:


> It seems to be exposure therapy. And the way you did it will not work for most people. You cant talk to a girl if just walking around the streets makes you scared. If you do it in such way, anxiety would be too strong and you will not feel good after doing it, and if you dont feel god after, it will never become easier for you.
> 
> But first of all, you have to change your thinking patterns. For me personnaly, this approach made many things much easier to do. In the past, any time i threw myself in a hard situation, my anxiety only became stronger.


Agreed. Just throwing yourself into a situation that could get you negative feedback from them can just make things worse, depening on what you blame the screw up on. Getting positive feedback from people helps boost confidence.


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## jimity

derpresion said:


> therapies, meditation, positive attitudes and like are all such a silly little shi t who even uses them..


Well then we all might as well give up since there isn't anything else.


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## Anxietyriddled

He's just telling us what worked for him no reason to bog the thread down with disagreements and arguments over other things, jesus...

Anyways congrats on your success dealing with your SA. I've been reading into pickup techniques for maybe a year, I have mystery method (great book) and I have Rules of the game ( great book). I watch a lot of youtube pickups vids too. I learned a lot about social skills through these books. Some people misunderstand PUA like it's doing some thing wrong or trying to wrong women or some thing and it's not, It's simply to help guys like us have better lives socially.

I've never actually tried to talk to girls though >.< I'm too nervous and I stiff up and i dunno it's a mess. How did you start from scratch? or actually you didn't? you always had have friends and went to college no? I don't even have that, I have to start_ everything _from the total basics, a loner.  Like a damn 13 year old experiencing the same thing


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## WhatWentWrong

I'm glad you got better  I hope you keep it up and don't fall back down the well. You're method hasn't worked for me so far and the reason, I believe, is physical consistency. My social anxiety stems from my lack of ability to control the tone and volume of my voice which puts people in a defensive state. Sometimes when I have full control I can have a full day, or even weeks without much anxiety but one day my voice will completely change and (to me) I sound a lot different than I should and try to compensate which makes me sound odd. Imagine you're in a ferrari and knowing that sometimes the brakes stick. You're not going to drive it flat out.


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## derpresion

reaal said:


> you just completely contradicted yourself. obviously us SA'ers have wired our brains to be in our SA state we live in, so changing your mindset is the exact way to rewire them to be normal again. that's the only way to get rid of SA. I totally agree with the OP, its just so hard to get started as someone who has been struggling with SA for such a long time.


no, what i mean is just bcs you get positive, all confident and push yourself to go out and talk to people wont impact anyhow whether your sa gets activated during conversation or no. you can set yourself to have a mindset of a winner but if your brain is ****ed up you still can suddenly become akward when you talk or get mind freezes etc and all that will be beyond your control. if you dont see what i mean ur just lucky to never been there and probably just have some light case of shyness or something like that..


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## Psi

Hey jnwoods,

Thanks for sharing your story. Wow what a success you had finding a way to overcome the anxiety! I have been thinking through my problems all over again but I always feel the same way, afraid to approach people and thinking in my head that they're putting me down and criticizing me. I always feel so awkward and it's stopping me from reaching out. I really will do anything now to overcome this.. Anyway thanks for giving me hope and I hope you keep it up and enjoy life


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## gooxo

i will give this a shot! thank you... i think this is worthwhile trying for people with only moderate anxiety.


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## jnwoods

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences and the kind words! Good luck to everyone! I could literally write a book on my experiences and what I learned but I will try to condense my comments.

@jimity & dalmat- yes exposure therapy is exactly what this is. I will say that I never had SA to the point where I couldn't walk on the street. For those people I would recommend doing smaller things consistently which will help them get more comfortable with public situations. Also, watch people on youtube, not only pickup artists, but people like: Vitalyzdtv, LAWHF, Steve Kardynal. Although the stuff they are doing is pretty ballsy, it may somewhat empower you to slowly start to get out of your comfort zone, when you see someone else doing it. One thing learning game also teaches you is to desensitize yourself to negative reactions, because you know how to handle them. For example if a girl would blow me off in the past, I would really internalize it and it would damage my self esteem. If it happens to me now I either know how to counter it and to get her interested, or to move on and not let it bother me. These are skills which take time to develop after continuously pushing your boundaries, and learning game.

@ anxiety riddled- Getting started approaching is the hardest part, but once you just do it, and keep doing it. It gets MUCH easier. I started out being fairly shy but having friends, to losing most of my friends due to my serious SA, and having to rebuild my social circle from basically scratch which is what I did. Once you begin to get your first couple positive reactions from girls, that will really start to give you the momentum to continue as well as the confidence. You may start with just asking a girl for directions to the nearest Starbucks on the street. When I was beginning to expose myself more, I would go to Target/Walmart and ask people where sections of a store were when I knew already where they were. You will find that by the third person you ask for help, you begin to feel more comfortable in your surroundings. You may even use the asking directions technique first to get you in "state" and then go on to try and start a random conversation. Best of luck to you.

@whatwentwrong- Thanks for the support! When I had bad SA I used to continuously relapse. I would learn something that I thought would be the cure (some kind of mind trick/method to psych myself out), try to implement it for a bit, and then would I relapse and go back to solitude. Let me tell you right now, as hard as it is, as embarrassing as it may feel, physical/social exposure CONSISTENCY IS THE KEY and will get you out of your fears. Going back to being by yourself is the opposite of what you want to do. That was my problem, every time I felt like something wasn't working I would go back to my room and journal/look online for the answer. The problem is that there is no magic trick cure to anxiety. It takes consistently putting yourself out of your comfort zone, and knowing that doing so will eventually be your light from the tunnel.

@derpresion-read the above comment. Good luck!

@Psi & Gooxo- Thanks for your support and being open minded! You guys can both get through SA and I wish you the best.

Here are some more videos I would suggest watching for everyone:

Digging your self out of SA/Depression: 




Overcoming Approach Anxiety: 




*Note: Most guys I know who became good at game, WERE NOT always good at game and talking to women. A lot of them came from bad experiences, depression, bad SA, etc. and began to learn about this to change their lives around. Good luck everyone!


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## Thatguy55

Thank you so much for taking the time to write out your success story, very interesting to read. It's also strange because I've looking into approaching girls and PUA for a few years now and I thought that it would be a very good exposure for me, I still haven't been able to do it yet however, I know all I need to do is to just do it. I don't even know what it is I'm afraid of because I've figured it out in my mind and gone over it millions of times. I just need to do it, find out what happens. That's the point of exposure.

I agree to everything you said, and I'm pretty appalled at the amount of negativity and all that fun stuff coming from members in a thread like this. It's not a good thinking habit.


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## the collector

Is this forreal???I will look into it.


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## timidSeal

Thanks, jnwoods for sharing your success! I'm sure your exact methods may not be suitable for everyone, but the key concepts are very helpful and clearly work. It's inspiring to hear of your success!


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## pck

derpresion said:


> no, what i mean is just bcs you get positive, all confident and push yourself to go out and talk to people wont impact anyhow whether your sa gets activated during conversation or no. you can set yourself to have a mindset of a winner but if your brain is ****ed up you still can suddenly become akward when you talk or get mind freezes etc and all that will be beyond your control. if you dont see what i mean ur just lucky to never been there and probably just have some light case of shyness or something like that..


Aren't you just being a little too stubborn here. I'm not saying you should believe what he say 100%. But dismissing him as not having it that bad because he "don't see what I mean" is extreme. You're like a full cup of water that just can not accept anymore. Do it like Bruce Lee said: first empty your cup of water if you wish to learn.

I had that experience that you describe. I don't really believe we're ****ed up and ultimately incurable. We have an illness that's all. So don't be like wwaaaaa I'm so ****ed up nothing will ever work for me any more. That's bull**** man.


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## pck

Just to be clear, I don't believe in fairy tales. I know the pain, the suffering, the constant sense of failure and unbearable hopelessness. But I also notice that my pain lessen with time. Meditation and exposure also helped at times, even though I'm still not totally cured.

I recall began working on a door to door sale job, thinking that I need more exposure to people. After 3 days, I thought the job was too hard for me and give up. Immediately after that however, my mouth become a freaking radio. I could talk with anyone, with any stranger, totally confident and feel great. The bad thing is it lasts only for 2 days. 

If you think about it, there's something similar in all of us sas member that is a period of total isolation. I've seen almost every member describe they're going through or went through such a thing. So I think it's the chief condition for developing SA, and so the reverse condition - aka exposure should be the cure.

Regarding meditation, it has not worked quite consistently for me but I do recall times when after a session I feel happy, confident and elevated for days. The bad things about it is I can't repeat such experience on command just yet.


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## Mithun

Originally Posted by [B said:


> jnwoods[/B]
> _Hello all,
> 
> Part of me doesn't want to write this because I hate revisiting the past (aka a 6-7 months ago), but I feel like I owe it to share how I overcame SA. First off let me tell you that anxiety is something that can be overcome in a short period of time. Anyone telling you that you just have to deal or "cope" with it for the rest of your life is talking completely out of their ***. What anxiety does, is control you completely. Anxiety wants you to continue to stay in your room, and not go out, but that is exactly what you have to do to get out of it.
> 
> I was always somewhat shy, but I didn't have any serious anxiety until I reached high school. Coming back to high school my senior year was one of the hardest periods of my life. I had spent the summer with less social interaction than usual, on the computer most of the time working on building websites and learning new things on the internet which is something I love to do. I didn't even realize where my life was headed due to the complete negligence of my social life. Coming back my senior year I was completely broken. I couldn't even look people in the eye, or talk to people face to face in social situations. My anxiety had reached a point to where it was absolutely terrible, and I had no idea what was going on with my brain. I went into a deep depression and honestly wanted to end my life. Never had I been so torn and embarrassed. My friends didn't understand my anxiety and the whole experience was horrific. Eventually I got out of my depression, but my anxiety still continued to make my life miserable. I felt like I honestly was just getting older and my life was wasting away, because I was not really living it. I tried taking Paxil, Xanax, and a few herbal remedies but nothing worked, they just made me tired. I tried talking to a few counselors, and although they meant the best, they did nothing for me. Going into college my anxiety still existed, however I was introduced to things like alchohol and pot brownies, which temporarily made me forget about my anxiety, and get a taste of life. I came back from the university I was at after one year because I was unsure on exactly what I wanted to do career wise. I moved back in with my parents, and began attending community college. Although I made some great friends at cc, my anxiety became even worse because I was not living with a bunch of people in a social environment (aka the dorms). My life had become: go to school, go home, hop on the internet, occasionally go out on the weekends for an uncomfortable social experience, repeat. I had a small amount of friends, but I was not making many new friends, and had become mostly awkward in social situations.
> 
> Anyways I realized anxiety was a large part of my life, and was in fact inhibiting me from living, but I didn't know what to do&#8230;so I tried everything. I journaled, I practiced meditation, I tried envisioning what I wanted while in certain situations, I tried envisioning myself as another person while in social situations (sometimes worked), I tried reading up on Buddhist principles, I studied concepts on the ego, I started reading researchers like Eckhart Tolle, I attended social anxiety meet-ups and guess what!?! None of it really worked for me! My brain just went back to normal anxiety.
> 
> Then like a blessing from the gods, I ran across daygame & pick-up artists on Youtube. For those that aren't familiar, day game is when guy's go to talk to women during the day, in an effort to try to create some sort of relationship, or just have sex. What these guys do is throw themselves into situations normal people wouldn't in order to talk to a girl they are attracted to. This was such a new concept to me and I was totally enthralled because I had no idea that people did this. Watching these videos one night literally empowered me the following day to become a little flirtatious while at school, and talk to girls more. I also began talking to people more in general. I continued learning more about pick-up online and even joined a local group of other individuals who did day game on a regular basis. Through pick-up I found my life completely changing before my eyes. I was doing things I had never done, and I had never felt so alive in my life. I was literally starting conversations with girls who I would normally just say nothing to&#8230;strangers in line who I would normally just say nothing to, etc. I started to get a few phone numbers from this and I honestly felt like a brand new person. I was getting better not only at talking to girls, but talking with strangers, talking with friends, and talking with my family! (one of the greatest rewards). I actually was able to sit face to face with my mom and my dad at a dinner table, without feeling uncomfortable. Through pick-up I changed from the guy who would go out to clubs and parties with a friend and not talk to anyone new, to the guy who would go to clubs and parties and talk to the hottest girls there. Through pick-up, I literally talked to a girl while she was working at the mall, got her number, and had sex with her a week later the first time we hung out. At age 20, I had never had sex in my life. Pick-up and learning game gave me the confidence to do things I had never imagined, and my life has completely changed because of it.
> 
> The trick to overcoming social anxiety, is to go out and physically do what you fear the most, not to read or think too much by yourself. When you read and think you become too much in your head, disconnected from reality and the people around you. Your perception of reality becomes completely distorted, because you are looking at the world from inside a bubble. Being alone can be a place of comfort for someone who has anxiety, but what you have to do if you really want to live, is continue to push the boundaries of what comfortable is. Really develop the habit of talking to others while you are out running errands or doing what you need to do during the day. Talk to a random person, or strike up a quick conversation with the cashier. Let me tell you, this may be extremely uncomfortable at first&#8230;but KEEP DOING IT! The more you continue to talk to random people and really open yourself up, the quicker you will see your anxiety begin to fade. The key so success is consistency and persistence. Yell really loudly out the window while you are driving, give a high five to a stranger, all of these things are things you can do to get your loose and out of your head.
> 
> My social anxiety is a thing of the past and it can be for you to. The thing I hate the most on these forums is the depressing posts from people who say SA is a part of them and will continue to ruin their lives forever. Which therefore makes it necessary to live by yourself in sorrow and waste your life away. F*** THAT! Do I ever have anxiety now? Very small amounts here and there if I find myself in my head after a long day of work, but NOTHING and I repeat NOTHING like it was. I can have normal conversations, do normal activities, and LIVE MY LIFE! It's liberating. In addition to pick-up, I recommend checking out Toastmasters for improving public speaking, which is something I did for a bit as well. Anyways here are a few videos and links I will share with you guys. If you have any questions, feel free to email me at . I am here to help people. _


_

Sasha Daygame:













Real Social Dynamics: Listen to these guys! They will help you change your life!









Other random pick-up vids:













Remember, you are in control of your life and how you live it. Break habits, and slowly begin to dive into the situations that are uncomfortable to you as that is the only way you will get through this. Cheers._
Well done! :clap and I feel this is true.

Below is the link to a thread which talks about something that I did in a similar way.
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/...turn-d-476210/


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## Captainmycaptain

I want to take a big steaming s h i t on the original post. Nothing will turn you into a bigger social retard than following what they say in those pickup videos.


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## xgodmetashogun

DRUGSAREnotGOOD said:


> I want to take a big steaming s h i t on the original post. Nothing will turn you into a bigger social retard than following what they say in those pickup videos.


what other routes do you have in mind huh


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## vancouver

Great read, very interesting too..


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## whatdoisay

MusingForX said:


> nice sales pitch.... yawn..


exactly what i was thinkin


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## Rokit

Great post, OP.

This is the kinda thing I'm making moves to do at the moment to see if it helps with my SA. I'm doing NoFap at the moment to build my confidence, then when I feel up to it I'm gonna start daygame. I don't expect to get any girls because, well, I'm pretty short and not really attractive, but that's not what matters to me.

Thanks


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## 7th.Streeter

jnwoods said:


> @derpresion why don't you read my original post.* I didn't just change my mindset I started taking action and then my mindset/outlook began to change by itself.* Good luck


Yes, gotta take action, you can think positive thoughts all day and nothing will happen, for me, what no, who changed me was God. I don't care who believes this or not, it's all my exp. 

I was neck deep in anxiety, not only did I have social anxiety but panic attacks as well... it wasn't until God stepped in that my life really started to change.. it didn't happen over night, it was gradual but . He got me alot further than I could get myself..which is why I don't come on here alot. 
He's turning me into a person i didn't I could ever become. 
Before, I couldn't look people in the eye, my heart would race, I could only dream of going to interviews, was up under my parents b/c I really didn't have a voice of my own.... Now  I have a job(Im not in the back either, but a cashier ^^..and I wasn't scared), I got paid yesterday, opened up a bank acc, and most importantly abt to go on dorm... I also sing at my church (that still scares me XD but it's getting better)
W/o God I couldn't do any of this ..none of it..(I had to believe in Him b/c i couldn't believe in myself..I couldn't do it w/o Him). and this was in the course of three years, He's not finished w/ me yet

** But I think even when Im completely fearless, I probably won't abandon this site, I'd probably drop posive tidbits in the frustration and coping section XD ***


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## retepe94

reaal said:


> i think this is spot on. it is exposure therapy. so maybe this exact method will not work for everyone, but everyone does have their own way of counteracting their SA with exposure therapy. whether it be talking to girls in public, or speaking to a family member alone. whatever it is that causes your anxiety, you have to face it, and conquer it.


Agree, I also feel we have to accept we have anxiety and learn how to lower it rather than beat it up cause it's a human emotion.


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## yukn

While the OPs techniques may work well for some people, I just don't agree with the presumptious notion that everyone who has SA simply isn't trying hard enough or that SA is caused by being a lazy bum who stays in the house and plays video games all day. There's plenty of people with SA who have to deal with the pressures of a job or making presentations, which should be more daunting than having a casual conversation or walking down the street, even for a normal person, yet they still feel anxiety in those situations. The simplistic logic that if A is harder than B, then if you do A, you won't have any anxiety about B isn't always how things work. And there are many "normal" people who don't even try to get a job or do anything productive, yet they don't get afflicted with social anxiety due to their laziness. The ironic thing is that people who have a more irresponsible attitude and don't give a crap actually tend to have less anxiety because they don't see their self-worth as being defined by what society thinks is right.


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## ion max86

great man, wish you luck. lol, i know is hard trying to convince people to take the good apples out of a tree when PUA has a bad connotation.


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## ion max86

> I was neck deep in anxiety, not only did I have social anxiety but panic attacks as well... it wasn't until God stepped in that my life really started to change.. it didn't happen over night, it was gradual but . He got me alot further than I could get myself..which is why I don't come on here alot. He's turning me into a person i didn't I could ever become. Before, I couldn't look people in the eye, my heart would race, I could only dream of going to interviews, was up under my parents b/c I really didn't have a voice of my own.... Now I have a job(Im not in the back either, but a cashier ^^..and I wasn't scared), I got paid yesterday, opened up a bank acc, and most importantly abt to go on dorm... I also sing at my church (that still scares me XD but it's getting better) W/o God I couldn't do any of this ..none of it..(I had to believe in Him b/c i couldn't believe in myself..I couldn't do it w/o Him). and this was in the course of three years, He's not finished w/ me yet


 great post as well. i have experience miracles in my life that are hard to explain...and most people with good harts carry this human aura of inner peace. thanks for sharing this.


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## Douhnut77

I love these posts. :clap 

The only way out of this anxiety is to run straight through it, All gold must first pass through the flames. The fear of people is more dangerous than anything they can do to you


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## drj7

Quote:


Originally Posted by [B said:


> jnwoods[/B]
> _Hello all,
> 
> Part of me doesn't want to write this because I hate revisiting the past (aka a 6-7 months ago), but I feel like I owe it to share how I overcame SA. First off let me tell you that anxiety is something that can be overcome in a short period of time. Anyone telling you that you just have to deal or "cope" with it for the rest of your life is talking completely out of their ***. What anxiety does, is control you completely. Anxiety wants you to continue to stay in your room, and not go out, but that is exactly what you have to do to get out of it.
> 
> I was always somewhat shy, but I didn't have any serious anxiety until I reached high school. Coming back to high school my senior year was one of the hardest periods of my life. I had spent the summer with less social interaction than usual, on the computer most of the time working on building websites and learning new things on the internet which is something I love to do. I didn't even realize where my life was headed due to the complete negligence of my social life. Coming back my senior year I was completely broken. I couldn't even look people in the eye, or talk to people face to face in social situations. My anxiety had reached a point to where it was absolutely terrible, and I had no idea what was going on with my brain. I went into a deep depression and honestly wanted to end my life. Never had I been so torn and embarrassed. My friends didn't understand my anxiety and the whole experience was horrific. Eventually I got out of my depression, but my anxiety still continued to make my life miserable. I felt like I honestly was just getting older and my life was wasting away, because I was not really living it. I tried taking Paxil, Xanax, and a few herbal remedies but nothing worked, they just made me tired. I tried talking to a few counselors, and although they meant the best, they did nothing for me. Going into college my anxiety still existed, however I was introduced to things like alchohol and pot brownies, which temporarily made me forget about my anxiety, and get a taste of life. I came back from the university I was at after one year because I was unsure on exactly what I wanted to do career wise. I moved back in with my parents, and began attending community college. Although I made some great friends at cc, my anxiety became even worse because I was not living with a bunch of people in a social environment (aka the dorms). My life had become: go to school, go home, hop on the internet, occasionally go out on the weekends for an uncomfortable social experience, repeat. I had a small amount of friends, but I was not making many new friends, and had become mostly awkward in social situations.
> 
> Anyways I realized anxiety was a large part of my life, and was in fact inhibiting me from living, but I didn't know what to do&#8230;so I tried everything. I journaled, I practiced meditation, I tried envisioning what I wanted while in certain situations, I tried envisioning myself as another person while in social situations (sometimes worked), I tried reading up on Buddhist principles, I studied concepts on the ego, I started reading researchers like Eckhart Tolle, I attended social anxiety meet-ups and guess what!?! None of it really worked for me! My brain just went back to normal anxiety.
> 
> Then like a blessing from the gods, I ran across daygame & pick-up artists on Youtube. For those that aren't familiar, day game is when guy's go to talk to women during the day, in an effort to try to create some sort of relationship, or just have sex. What these guys do is throw themselves into situations normal people wouldn't in order to talk to a girl they are attracted to. This was such a new concept to me and I was totally enthralled because I had no idea that people did this. Watching these videos one night literally empowered me the following day to become a little flirtatious while at school, and talk to girls more. I also began talking to people more in general. I continued learning more about pick-up online and even joined a local group of other individuals who did day game on a regular basis. Through pick-up I found my life completely changing before my eyes. I was doing things I had never done, and I had never felt so alive in my life. I was literally starting conversations with girls who I would normally just say nothing to&#8230;strangers in line who I would normally just say nothing to, etc. I started to get a few phone numbers from this and I honestly felt like a brand new person. I was getting better not only at talking to girls, but talking with strangers, talking with friends, and talking with my family! (one of the greatest rewards). I actually was able to sit face to face with my mom and my dad at a dinner table, without feeling uncomfortable. Through pick-up I changed from the guy who would go out to clubs and parties with a friend and not talk to anyone new, to the guy who would go to clubs and parties and talk to the hottest girls there. Through pick-up, I literally talked to a girl while she was working at the mall, got her number, and had sex with her a week later the first time we hung out. At age 20, I had never had sex in my life. Pick-up and learning game gave me the confidence to do things I had never imagined, and my life has completely changed because of it.
> 
> The trick to overcoming social anxiety, is to go out and physically do what you fear the most, not to read or think too much by yourself. When you read and think you become too much in your head, disconnected from reality and the people around you. Your perception of reality becomes completely distorted, because you are looking at the world from inside a bubble. Being alone can be a place of comfort for someone who has anxiety, but what you have to do if you really want to live, is continue to push the boundaries of what comfortable is. Really develop the habit of talking to others while you are out running errands or doing what you need to do during the day. Talk to a random person, or strike up a quick conversation with the cashier. Let me tell you, this may be extremely uncomfortable at first&#8230;but KEEP DOING IT! The more you continue to talk to random people and really open yourself up, the quicker you will see your anxiety begin to fade. The key so success is consistency and persistence. Yell really loudly out the window while you are driving, give a high five to a stranger, all of these things are things you can do to get your loose and out of your head.
> 
> My social anxiety is a thing of the past and it can be for you to. The thing I hate the most on these forums is the depressing posts from people who say SA is a part of them and will continue to ruin their lives forever. Which therefore makes it necessary to live by yourself in sorrow and waste your life away. F*** THAT! Do I ever have anxiety now? Very small amounts here and there if I find myself in my head after a long day of work, but NOTHING and I repeat NOTHING like it was. I can have normal conversations, do normal activities, and LIVE MY LIFE! It's liberating. In addition to pick-up, I recommend checking out Toastmasters for improving public speaking, which is something I did for a bit as well. Anyways here are a few videos and links I will share with you guys. If you have any questions, feel free to email me at I am here to help people.
> 
> Sasha Daygame:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Real Social Dynamics: Listen to these guys! They will help you change your life!
> 
> 
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> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Other random pick-up vids:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Remember, you are in control of your life and how you live it. Break habits, and slowly begin to dive into the situations that are uncomfortable to you as that is the only way you will get through this. Cheers._




inspiring post. what was your experience with toastmasters like? i was thinking of trying it. i'd imagine i'd **** myself in fear though lol.


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## hdth

good sales pitch hah.

attitude change and exposure therapy are the main treatments for social anxiety. However I dont think its as easy as those videos or you say it is. When I expose myself I feel uncomfortable, when I feel uncomfortable I get weird/awkward, when I get weird/awkward I say the wrong things, when I say the wrong things people tend to not like me or think differently of me, when that happens I don't feel great about getting out of my shell and would have been better off not saying anything at all. Repeat.

But in all seriousness this thread did give me some motivation, a different view on things. Live in the moment and set guidelines in which is the ONLY importance.
1. Did I get out of my shell?
if yes, A+ if no, F


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## visualkeirockstar

I can't though because i have no interest in socializing.


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## sheblushed

jnwoods said:


> Through pick-up I changed from the guy who would go out to clubs and parties with a friend and not talk to anyone new, to the guy who would go to clubs and parties and talk to the hottest girls there. Through pick-up, I literally talked to a girl while she was working at the mall, got her number, and had sex with her a week later the first time we hung out.


Lol?

That's not what I aim for. I'm assuming it was easier for you because it seems like that is the life you want to live. But for example me, I don't even want to live a life like that. I just want to be able to do the things I like. But it's hard to lose SA if you want to live your quiet but a little socialized life but can't do the stuff others do. You automatically lose friends and all if you're not like them.
And... i suppose there are a lot of people that could get rid of their SA through just taking action, just doing the things they are scared of. And that's true but the thing is, i can work on one thing (drinking (not alcohol) in public) and constantly do that and someday i will feel okay doing it. See, i've been scared to drink in the classroom until like 8th grade, then i decided i had the right to drink. So, i did that. But now, 4 years later i still feel uncomfortable doing it but i can do it. Because i need to do it constantly. But other things i don't train are hard for me still. And it's hard to train... there is no guarantee that we will really feel comfortable one day. That's why going occasionally to a party does nothing for us but make us feel bad. Only if we went every weekend we'd feel comfortable. But that's that thing, if you fight one thing you felt uncomfortable with there are still soo many more. It's like, just cause i am comfortable calling that one person, i'm not comfortable calling the other. It's not something that spreads... it's more like you kill your anxiety in one cell, move to the other,and so on.


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