# They didn't want to hire me... Shocker



## soo-muchanxiety (Jun 20, 2018)

A few weeks ago I posted how excited I was about a great job opportunity.

My interview went surprisingly well and they invited me to do a trial week at the store. The interviewer said everything about my experience looks great on paper, but she would like to see how I interact with clients and her other staff before hiring. Basically all I had to do was get on friendly terms with her staff and bam... I would have a new job.

My week at the store went really well.. Or so I thought. I kept busy with tasks, went the extra mile to be helpful and was kind to all of her staff. I'm naturally a bit quiet and awkward (because I have zero self-esteem), but I put my best foot forward and I thought I was doing great. I have lots of experience in retail so the job itself was not challenging to me.

This morning I got an email saying "Thank you for your time and energy but you have not qualified for this position. Thanks again for your interest." I know this has nothing to do with my qualifications and everything to do with not "clicking" with her staff. 

This brings me back to the question... Why am I so unlikable? Why does no one see any value in me? I try so hard to be a good person and to push myself out of my comfort zone but apparently I must come across as a weirdo or make people uncomfortable. Granted, I'm not great with small talk, but there must be something else. Something about my body language or demeanor that turns people off. Because no one, and I really mean NO ONE likes me.

This job meant so much to me and I'm feeling pretty down. Mostly because I don't know what makes others dislike me so much. A similar thing happened with another job, so I know this is not just a one-time thing. I was let go because "I'm great but just not a good fit for their company" aka I have no social skills. I replied to her email thanking her for the opportunity but I'm just so crushed and discouraged.

Any kind words would be appreciated. I feel myself slipping back into depression I fought so hard to get out of.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

I wish I had more words of comfort other than to say you're not alone.

I also feel there must be something off-putting enough about me to be tolerated by not embraced.

I've been told I'm a bit too blunt...but who knows. Maybe it's something like bad breath? The kind of thing everyone assumes you already know, so nobody says anything about it.


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## mt moyt (Jul 29, 2015)

I hope they paid you for that week. otherwise, it might be that they are just trying to get a free week's worth of labour from various people and weren't even hiring in the first place


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## soo-muchanxiety (Jun 20, 2018)

mt moyt said:


> I hope they paid you for that week. otherwise, it might even be a thing where they get a free week's worth of labour from various people and weren't even hiring in the first place


I was paid for working, so sadly it is because of my own shortcomings and not a scam.


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## Alex4You (Jun 19, 2017)

Everyone gets rejected every once in a while. Don't get too down about it. The important thing is that you do what makes you happy. So what if you didn't get a job? There are countless jobs out there, so you can always find another. If you aren't good at interacting with people, try talking to strangers to get more comfortable with it. I did this and it really made me way less awkward and now I think talking to people is kinda fun. 

This job was simply not the right one for you and that's okay. It's like finding a friend or partner. You've got to get out there and keep trying different options out until you find one you really like. Be determined and keep trying.


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## Ai (Oct 13, 2012)

Have you thought about maybe typing up an e-mail, expressing again how grateful you were for the opportunity and asking for some constructive criticism? Perhaps they would be willing to go over with you exactly what made them think you weren't a right fit for the job; that way, it would at least be somewhere to start when preparing for next time? 

I know what it feels like to think you're doing very well, only to find no one else thinks so, though.  It really hurts. Sorry that happened to you. Feel better.


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## andy0128 (Dec 19, 2003)

That sounds little unjust getting rid of someone after one week when you've done nothing wrong of note. You're perhaps better off not working in such a place if they evaluate people like that. You shouldn't dwell on it.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

What kind of job was this?


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## soo-muchanxiety (Jun 20, 2018)

Ai said:


> Have you thought about maybe typing up an e-mail, expressing again how grateful you were for the opportunity and asking for some constructive criticism? Perhaps they would be willing to go over with you exactly what made them think you weren't a right fit for the job; that way, it would at least be somewhere to start when preparing for next time?


This is a good idea, I will send her a message to see what her feedback is. Although I'm pretty nervous about what she'll say - aka just confirm everything that I'm insecure about is true.


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## NotFullyHere (Apr 29, 2018)

soo-muchanxiety said:


> This is a good idea, I will send her a message to see what her feedback is. Although I'm pretty nervous about what she'll say - aka just confirm everything that I'm insecure about is true.


I also think its a great idea. It'll probably sting a lot but at least you'll know the problem for sure. Good luck!


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## JackAku225 (May 28, 2017)

soo-muchanxiety said:


> This is a good idea, I will send her a message to see what her feedback is. Although I'm pretty nervous about what she'll say - aka just confirm everything that I'm insecure about is true.


Put it this way, even if everything you're insecure about is true than at least you know about your weaknesses and you're one step ahead of the game! I think it's really great to know what your weaknesses are.

My number one weakness in my last job was the way I professionally carried myself initially and whom I emulated when I was starting out. I made the mistake of emulating seasoned employees with my actions while I was starting out, with their personalities and not their work habits. Now I know to be the best self I can be and ask what other employees do while I am on the job.


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## Gorgoroth9 (Jul 4, 2016)

I just went through a gauntlet of work-related rejections. One job interview, after years of job interviews, and job related exams, and I was in 'band 1' of the last round to be hired, but I didn't make it. This was to get a second job I desperately need. 

In the job I already have, I met with my boss to discuss a grant-writing project she threw out to staff asking if anyone wanted to take it on. I volunteered to do so, and my boss met with me to discuss it, and I had literally just come back from that job interview and knowing I did not get the job. So, I can tell my boss isn't sincerely interested in me writing this grant, and the deadline is extremely close, and I have never done this before, and the guidance I received was next to none. But during this meeting with my boss, she states that she is going to recommend me to some random non-profit after I told her I did not land the other job. It was out of nowhere, but just like that I was thrown into a second job interview for a position I knew very little about, and frankly one I don't think I feel up to. So, I went in for this interview, and just kind of floundered. I was already feeling nervous and bad about the last rejection, so I pretty much know it didn't go well.

I figured out why my boss made this impromptu recommendation. She is trying to create 2 new full-time positions, and she is not considering me for them. I think she was trying to get rid of me, and simultaneously alleviate her guilt, because there's a good argument that I should be considered for it. It'll be going to my boyfriend (which is fine), and basically the cutest girl in the office, who I've always low-key just been jealous of in a pathetic way I wish wasn't the case.

So, basically this was like three rejections back-to-back. Not to mention that I've been moved between departments like a bargaining chip to acquire more desirable employees, and swapped back and forth like a pawn over the past year or so. 

I had a total break down this whole weekend. I couldn't stop crying, and my boyfriend has been luke-warm comforting. Half-*** comforting might be a better way of putting it. I wish I could leave this job, but I feel like I am not qualified anywhere. Everywhere I go people ask me if I'm nervous, because my nerves are palpable. Nobody has confidence in me. So how could I ever have confidence in myself.

Meanwhile I just got thrown a bunch of crappy, time consuming, menial tasks at work on top of that grant I mentioned. I don't think I'll have time to write the grant. I also quit a second job in the summer because my boss scolded me, and I quit in tears. I couldn't feel worse. So really, it's like 5 rejections, 4 of which are all within the span of 3 months, and one a slow, stretched out one playing out over a year being rotated in and out of departments.


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## misanthrope2 (Feb 18, 2013)

I totally relate to feeling like no one likes or connect with me. I'm sure there's something about me that's just not relateable. I'm struggling at work right now mainly because I have no work friends or connections. It's a pretty independent role anyway but work would be so much more enjoyable if I had a friend or too I enjoyed chatting with.


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