# Public Speaking



## DrewDrewson (Mar 29, 2010)

Hey, I was wondering if anyone on here has been able to conquer their fear of public speaking or at least control it to a great degree. Most of my social anxiety lies in this terrifying task alone. I get the sweaty hands, dizziness, loss of concentration, feeling faint etc. Would repeated exposure to this be a good approach, like toastmasters. Just curious if any of you have had any success because eventually in college I'm going to have to speak in front of people


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## Sbrooke (Nov 28, 2010)

Well i have in some ways. I think the anticipation is the worst part, so try to be one of the first people if u need to give a presentation so you won't have the time to think about and become even more nervous. Also being prepared will help a lot as well. I know for me having to actually stand up infront of the class is the worst, but some professor permit you to stay at your seat, which makes me more comfortable as well.


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## rockyraccoon (Dec 13, 2010)

I joined a support group not to long ago. One of my goals was to share my experiences by speaking about my problems. I am terrified of public speaking, so by attending these meetings I am slowly trying to get over my fear of public speaking. The cool thing about this group is that everyone in the group is suffering from some sort of mental disorder. So If you screw up when you are talking, you know you won't be criticized or ridiculed. When I was in college and I was taking a class, if the teacher said that we would have to do an oral presentation, I would immediately drop the class. I know, it was a total waste.


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## DrewDrewson (Mar 29, 2010)

That's funny ihl, I always do the same thing in school too. If on the first day they mention any type of presentation or anything I drop the class. Do you think after the therapy you would still do the same thing and drop the class or do you think you'd be able to handle it now?


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## rockyraccoon (Dec 13, 2010)

I think I would tell myself **** it I'm gonna tough it out and go ahead and give that speach. I got to get over this fear of public speaking.


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## efm88 (Feb 18, 2010)

I had to take a public speaking course in college in order to graduate. I registered for it 3 times and dropped it twice. I finally took it my final semester and didn't do terrible. I agree with the fact that the anticipation is the worst. I volunteered to go first a few times and was sooo happy that I did that. And yeah, being prepared is the best. Although i do have to admit to basically memorizing my speeches :/ I dont know if thats good or bad lol.


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## im Lost (Dec 4, 2010)

yes i believe its called exposure therapy. that is supposed to help you overcome SA! face your fears! until your fear is no more! i read in a article.


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

I can't stand it. 

Ironically, if I was giving a talk about myself, my family, my childhood or what have you, I would be OK with it. Weird, huh?


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## talkswithkeyboard (Dec 28, 2010)

In elementary school 'til about grade 6, I used to cry every time I had to do a presentation. :cry Now I can do presentations, but my voice shows that I'm obviously nervous.

Whenever I get shaky-voiced, it's usually because I'm trying to rush and get out of there. Instantly I tell myself to slow down, which gets me to breathe in more fresh air. This actually works better for group and/or longer presentations because there's time to recover. Shorter presentations end too fast since I rush through them and don't have enough time to basically slow down.

I always try to go first or whatever to get it over with and when you go first "you'll have the best presentation in class" at least for a few minutes. 

Has anyone actually graduated college or university without doing a presentation? In my first year, I did about 6.


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## missmichelle (Dec 29, 2010)

for some reason I get very little anxiety public speaking. In fact I love it. Even though I have major SA when in normal life situations, I feel like a different person then myself when I present, somehow removed from the situation. I don't know why


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## marielabete (Dec 14, 2010)

A few months ago, I was able to talk in front of a group of people. I was taking a business class, and my partner didn't do much of the work, so he mostly relied on me to do everything. Figures!

And the day I have to present, I was extremely nervous. Taking a few bathroom breaks - just to get out there and breathe. And drinking lots of water, just in case my mouth dries. But somehow I was able to do it, thanks to all that and the meds. Who knew the stuff I learned in CBT helped.

And hey, it was such an improvement than a year ago. I had to do a few minute presentation for a law class, but I didn't expect that there will be so many strangers in the room and there was a video camera. Nobody told me it was going to be recorded! It was so traumatizing. After it was all over, I walked out of the room shaking. And I kept to myself the rest of the week in my bedroom. Either sleeping or crying.  Actually I stayed that depressed for several months. I was _that _traumatized.


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## ValiantThor (Dec 6, 2010)

GUYS I DITCHED ME FINAL FOR COLLEGE because i was so scared of public speaking. We had to stand in front of the class and speak for 10 mins about a photographer of our choice.....and i just couldnt do it, i sat in the car cursing about how much of a retard i am. This is literally destroying me life, i passed the class, but with a c.


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## wxolue (Nov 26, 2008)

Public speaking is actually the one fear I have overcome. I wish I could say it was easy, but the way I did it was in exposure therapy. Not exactly a piece of cake. If you think you can handle exposure, I compel you to seek out a group therapy session, or just join toastmasters.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

Yeah, I've spoken in front of audiences before. Not brilliantly as I am not a great orator or anything, but I can get my ideas across. I am better spoken than most people in my social circles. So someone judging me for something they are themselves terrible at is a little laughable.

The anxiety can be taken care of if you can stop caring about what people think of you from your speech. And college is no great test of public speaking. Very few people can deliver a speech properly in college. So you'll be among people whose skills of public speaking are likely worse than your own. Their judgement isn't of much consequence.


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## talkswithkeyboard (Dec 28, 2010)

I don't believe in ditching presentations, I never have and I don't really want to start. I always go through them no matter what, even if my presentation doesn't meet the guidelines, like time. For someone like me, I'd take whatever I can get, anything better than a zero. I usually feel good to some degree in the fact that I finished a presentation, even if I messed it up.

Even though I feel embarrassed doing presentations, I do agree with the fact that only maybe 10% of your college class will deliver a quality presentation. We were put into groups once and I was put into a group with a bunch of 'cool' outgoing guys, and even they admitted they hated doing presentations. I find group presentations easier to handle, especially if you did most of the work. You look better than the other guys who read off the slides. lol


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## Slogger (Dec 14, 2010)

senrab said:


> Ironically, if I was giving a talk about myself, my family, my childhood or what have you, I would be OK with it. Weird, huh?


This seems important, to talk about something you know well. Confidence about your knowledge helps relieve anxiety.

Maybe your first presentation could be on SA!


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## peach123 (Dec 13, 2010)

DrewDrewson said:


> Hey, I was wondering if anyone on here has been able to conquer their fear of public speaking or at least control it to a great degree. Most of my social anxiety lies in this terrifying task alone. I get the sweaty hands, dizziness, loss of concentration, feeling faint etc. Would repeated exposure to this be a good approach, like toastmasters. Just curious if any of you have had any success because eventually in college I'm going to have to speak in front of people


I have joined Toastmasters in the past four times and it is very helpful, however I didn't stay in it long enough to complete a certificate, I think you have to do at least 7-8 speeches on different topics, be the Toastmaster for the night, participate in different competitions, it takes alot of dedication so I haven't tried again but I will in the future after I finish college and can give more time to complete the Toastmaster certificate. But Toastmasters is VERY HELPFUL in reducing SA.


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## Kon (Oct 21, 2010)

I avoided every presentation since I had a panic attack in grade 7. I finally had to do a couple to get my degree but I used mega doses of medication (narcotics + benzos). That is, by far, my biggest fear. I'd rather be spit on, kicked in the head and get my knees blown off than have to do a formal presentation.


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## tomcoldaba (Jul 1, 2007)

peach123 said:


> I have joined Toastmasters in the past four times and it is very helpful, however I didn't stay in it long enough to complete a certificate, I think you have to do at least 7-8 speeches on different topics, be the Toastmaster for the night, participate in different competitions, it takes alot of dedication so I haven't tried again but I will in the future after I finish college and can give more time to complete the Toastmaster certificate. But Toastmasters is VERY HELPFUL in reducing SA.


I have been a toastmaster for 3 years. I belong to several clubs. I give the same speech to different clubs. It is another way of doing exposure therapy. After giving the same 4 speeches 5 times, my public speaking anxiety melted away. 80% of public speaking is just getting up to speak. I would not put any effort in trying to get the toastmaster certificate. IMO the certificate is a waste of time. But toastmasters helps you overcome your public speaking anxiety by giving you opportunity to speak at every meeting. Reducing your public speaking anxiety helps make life with SA easier. You will find talking to strangers easier. Most toastmasters suffer from some form of SA.


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

Slogger said:


> This seems important, to talk about something you know well. Confidence about your knowledge helps relieve anxiety.
> 
> Maybe your first presentation could be on SA!


Yeah, I always hated doing presentations in high school and college because I usually was not interested in what I had to talk about, and felt like a fraud. That + SA = a very unhappy senrab. I'm not interested in taking any public speaking classes right now, however


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## Glacial (Jun 16, 2010)

DrewDrewson said:


> Hey, I was wondering if anyone on here has been able to conquer their fear of public speaking or at least control it to a great degree. Most of my social anxiety lies in this terrifying task alone. I get the sweaty hands, dizziness, loss of concentration, feeling faint etc. Would repeated exposure to this be a good approach, like toastmasters. Just curious if any of you have had any success because eventually in college I'm going to have to speak in front of people


I can't offer a cure or way to conquer it because I haven't found it either; however, to keep it under control, I find it very helpful to take a few Xanax (or Klonopin or other benzo) about 45 minutes before the public speaking event. Benzos really take the edge of and will make you more laid back. I have to conduct a weekly meeting at work and when I take my Xanax I become quite chatty. The only caution I would offer is to be aware benzos will make you tired.


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## ryobi (Jan 13, 2009)

missmichelle said:


> for some reason I get very little anxiety public speaking. In fact I love it. Even though I have major SA when in normal life situations, I feel like a different person then myself when I present, somehow removed from the situation. I don't know why


I'm similar. I did great as long as I had time to prepare. I think it's because I'm so used to being anxious I'm not scared of those anxiety symptoms. I feel that way all the time...


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## ZeroG64 (Oct 14, 2010)

^ I can almost guarantee that you weren't the only one with a shaky voice! Lot's of people suffer from anxiety when giving public presentation or public speaking, not just people with SAD. It's pretty normal.

I found Propranolol (Beta-Blockers) to be quite useful, they would stop the voice shaking for you. Go into the medication section for more info, there's a big thread about it and how useful people have found it for public speaking.


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## Dan208 (Dec 22, 2010)

I get the same symptoms as you (sweaty palms, faint feeling, etc). I'm on the volunteer fire department and I'm the FRA (basically firefighter insurance) secretary/treasurer. Every year we have a dinner meeting and I have to give a speach about our financial standings, voting for new officers, etc. The first year I stood up to talk and it was a fricking train wreck. Since then I stay in my seat and it makes it a little easier, but not much.

Repeating things like this does not help me that much. In fact, it seems to make my SA worse. I recently started back to college and I'm scared to death about the public speaking class I'm going to have to take.


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## wasteddays (Jan 2, 2011)

I can't do it. I failed every oral report in school because I couldn't do it. Often at work we have meetings where they go around the room and make everyone introduce themselves. I am trying to figure out how to get out of it the next time it happens. Last time I nearly passed out.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

wasteddays said:


> Often at work we have meetings where they go around the room and make everyone introduce themselves. I am trying to figure out how to get out of it the next time it happens.


I just laugh at their mock-formality and tell them how silly the whole thing is. Then I just say my first name.


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## Glacial (Jun 16, 2010)

heroin said:


> I just laugh at their mock-formality and tell them how silly the whole thing is. Then I just say my first name.


Right, if someone is truly interested, they should approach the person on a personal basis. I hate "ice-breaking" introductions.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

Saving Face said:


> Right, if someone is truly interested, they should approach the person on a personal basis. I hate "ice-breaking" introductions.


Arranged introductions are necessary in a work environment, but they should be handled by someone who knows all the people there. Like an HR executive or maybe someone who is going to co-ordinate the work that the people will be doing. They can tell what each individual will be doing and who they are etc.

Just going around the room and making people formally introduce themselves doesn't seem like a very good idea.


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## Glacial (Jun 16, 2010)

heroin said:


> Arranged introductions are necessary in a work environment, but they should be handled by someone who knows all the people there. Like an HR executive or maybe someone who is going to co-ordinate the work that the people will be doing. They can tell what each individual will be doing and who they are etc.
> 
> Just going around the room and making people formally introduce themselves doesn't seem like a very good idea.


I do understand introducing oneself in the context of work--"Hi, I am David and I am the _____ Supervisor" or whatever. But some people want you to say "three things interesting about yourself" and other awkward things.


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## Slogger (Dec 14, 2010)

heroin said:


> Just going around the room and making people formally introduce themselves doesn't seem like a very good idea.


Ha, ha, I work with a hyper-positive project manager who, after a holiday break, often starts a meeting with, "SOOO, let's go around and everyone tell us what fun and exciting thing you did over the break!!" Feels like show-and-tell in kindergarden again.


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## PosterNutBag (Jan 8, 2011)

Yep. I had many public speaking type classes in college. I think most people have to take one actual "Public Speaking" course for a core class. I will tell ya, it was hell for me. I would always get so nervous. I knew everyone could sense it. I felt like such a loser. The PS class I had I took in summer school so it didn't seem as long as a full semester. But even then I had to give speeches/presentations like twice a week for a full month. It was hell and I absolutely hated it. It makes you feel like you have no self confidence. It might help you though. I think I got better towards the end.


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## PosterNutBag (Jan 8, 2011)

ihl said:


> I joined a support group not to long ago. One of my goals was to share my experiences by speaking about my problems. I am terrified of public speaking, so by attending these meetings I am slowly trying to get over my fear of public speaking. The cool thing about this group is that everyone in the group is suffering from some sort of mental disorder. So If you screw up when you are talking, you know you won't be criticized or ridiculed. When I was in college and I was taking a class, if the teacher said that we would have to do an oral presentation, I would immediately drop the class. I know, it was a total waste.


I used to do the same exact thing. Oral presentation in class for me equals a very quick drop unless I had to take it in order to graduate.


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## johndawson (Jan 10, 2011)

*blank faces are part of the answer*



DrewDrewson said:


> Hey, I was wondering if anyone on here has been able to conquer their fear of public speaking or at least control it to a great degree. Most of my social anxiety lies in this terrifying task alone. I get the sweaty hands, dizziness, loss of concentration, feeling faint etc. Would repeated exposure to this be a good approach, like toastmasters. Just curious if any of you have had any success because eventually in college I'm going to have to speak in front of people


My job is helping people who are scared of public speaking and I run about 40 courses a year. What you talk about is a very common reaction to standing up in front of people. Of course the strength of the reaction varies depending on a number of factors.
However there is a really important factor around the fear of public speaking which isn't very well known. 
When we have a normal conversation - just two people - the listener nods and show signs of approval. We all know this - its nothing new. However when we stand in front of an audience we see rows of blank faces. Because the speaker is still using the normal conversation skills he/she is looking for approval. But gets blank faces. A blank face in a normal conversation feels like disapproval. So when we see the blank faces we feel judged, we feel boring, we feel not worthy. However and here is the important point. Blank faces are normal in an audience - they are just listening faces. People in an audience don't have to look after as much as they do in a conversation. So they don't all nod as one and say "gosh what an interesting point" as one voice. People listen with all sorts of faces, they look away, they look at the ceiling etc. What we need to do is not to see these faces as judging faces but ones that are just listening. We need to learn different skills to be infront of audience and NOT to use our normal conversational skills. Take a look at pictures of an audience or look at other people's faces next time you are in audience. Blank faces are normal!


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## Kon (Oct 21, 2010)

In all honesty, if you can actually see faces in an audience, your public speaking anxiety isn't that bad. When I speak at an audience (with drugs), I don't look or notice anybody in the audience. I don't even remember what I said in my previous sentence/word. All I'm worried and concentrating on, is trying to remember and connect thoughts to words while my mouth and hands are trembling, while my thoughts (speech content and anxious ones) are moving at the speed of light. I'm also too busy trying to prevent myself from fainting, from running outside the room because my heart feels like it's going to explode out of my chest. I also feel like smashing people's faces and skulls in when they say "everybody experiences public-speaking anxiety. It's perfectly normal and you get used to it".


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## Hello22 (Feb 10, 2010)

DrewDrewson said:


> Hey, I was wondering if anyone on here has been able to conquer their fear of public speaking or at least control it to a great degree. Most of my social anxiety lies in this terrifying task alone. I get the sweaty hands, dizziness, loss of concentration, feeling faint etc. Would repeated exposure to this be a good approach, like toastmasters. Just curious if any of you have had any success because eventually in college I'm going to have to speak in front of people


My number 1 fear is public speaking. It terrifies me.

Unfortunately i used to have Alot of presentations during college. I used propanolol (Inderal) to control my fear. It worked wonders as it doesnt change your mentality, but it suppresses the physiological effects (heart-racing/ black outs, etc). I dont think i would have gotten through college without it. I dont like relying on drugs, but it was the only thing that worked brilliantly for me, and believe me, i tried _everything_ before the doctor prescribed these for me.

It can make you tired and very lethargic after taking it (especially after a high dose). And it gave me vivid dreams after it. But the side effects vary from person to person. Well worth it though.


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## Honos (Jan 6, 2011)

I would take the same approach as ryobi plenty of time to prepare, which then leave me even more time to panic about it lol

My problem is speaking really fast, most people can cope with it (apart from me while doing it as I get rather breathless) and Foreigners who would prefer people to speak slower anyway.

I thankfully have not been asked to give to many presentation and due to the general fear will not be volunteering for any in the near future. I know that exposure is a good way to deal with the problem, but I am just not ready.
Honos.


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## CharlotteSmith5 (May 30, 2012)

DrewDrewson said:


> Hey, I was wondering if anyone on here has been able to conquer their fear of public speaking or at least control it to a great degree. Most of my social anxiety lies in this terrifying task alone. I get the sweaty hands, dizziness, loss of concentration, feeling faint etc. Would repeated exposure to this be a good approach, like toastmasters. Just curious if any of you have had any success because eventually in college I'm going to have to speak in front of people


I used to be really terrified of speaking in public too but can I recommend you a book that I read recently that I think has really helped? It is called "Taming your Public Speaking Monkeys" by Dee Clayton. I really enjoyed reading it and found it really useful. She encourages you to think of the negative voices in your head as monkeys and teaches you to take control of them. It really worked for me and now I feel so differently about speaking in public. I can highly recommend it. There's more info on the website here:
http://www.deeclayton.com/page/overcome-your-fear-public-speaking-self-help-book


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## ImaDinosaur (Feb 6, 2012)

Oh man whenever I have to give any sort of presentation for anything I've never got an exact script and I end up rambling on and on T_T


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## eacao (Jul 5, 2013)

missmichelle said:


> for some reason I get very little anxiety public speaking. In fact I love it. Even though I have major SA when in normal life situations, I feel like a different person then myself when I present, somehow removed from the situation. I don't know why


haha, an out of body experience.


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## Zack (Apr 20, 2013)

I avoid it like the plague. Propranolol?


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## 1324Eric (Aug 14, 2013)

*Public speaking anxiety*

I also experienced this twice recently after decades o no problem. Looking into EMDR treatment and getting. Stress test. Felt like my pressure spiked.


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