# The story about a boy who went from anxious/shy/ptsd wreck to an extrovert to a......



## super (Sep 9, 2009)

*my story about how i went from anxious/shy/ptsd wreck to an extrovert to a......*

EDIT: can someone at least tell me if they read this and liked it ? it took a while to write haha

(I know its a long read but please read this because it will inspire YOU to change, all this 'anxiety' you have can go away and you WILL be normal, its up to YOU how long it will take)

I'll try to make it short as possible but for most of my young life i have always thought i was naturally 'shy' only until i properly researched this i realized i had a legitimate anxiety disorder. Long story short i was hit by a car in front of my house and that ****ed me up mentally, it all adds up looking back and my psychologist + psychiatrist both agree. This happened when i was about 8, i remember it vividly. It's still a pretty horrible memory but i'll talk about what occurred years later when i was about 13.

Why me?
Fast forward a few years later, i was just about to finish primary school i usually had trouble making friends after the car hit me or even knowing how to make friends because at the time i moved from literally the other side of the country to another around that time which didn't help. I look back at those days and think wow what the **** was wrong with me back then? for example i would be walking home from school and these two girls who i thought were cute kept calling me and i just automatically avoided them and went the other way, pretended i didnt hear them. Many similar situations happened throughout primary school, even in high school and no not only with girls but also with guys it was an automatic response for me and i only realized until i saw a psychologist and researched.

The End of a 'loser' and the beginning of a boy with potential:
Fast forward to age 14, i was fairly chubby (parents fed me lots) i was probably considered a loser by the majority of school and didnt care much about my looks (i felt and thought i was ugly and thought i would always be like this). I decided that this all had to change i tried improving my looks by starting with getting a proper hair cut, during this time my hair was very long probably past my shoulders, always oily and wasnt looked after well. I went to a good hair salon and told them to do whatever they wanted as long as i looked good and guess what? that haircut gave me the biggest confidence boost i ever had in my life at that time. People were shocked when they saw me, compliments from everywhere and oh boy did i feel good.

You only live once:
After that boost in confidence i started getting clothes that were good looking to me but also appealed to everyone else, with that my confidence rose even more. I pushed myself to talk to more people and make more friends and i manged to do just that, i lost all my chubby weight and looked normal, boom more confidence it was now even more high, of course my anxiety was still there but read on 

My dreams are coming true, but at what cost?:
Lets talk about the months later, i made more friends and through that i was invited to partys and met girls (that were actually attracted to me) and other guys from other schools, a few girls from my actual school started to like me as well, most were good looking too those were great times although at first i was too stupid to make a move. Anyway I always had problems at home with my parents but it was getting worse during this time because i was always out and with my ego (confidence and anger?) increasing i went into this mentality i would call it the ''i don't give a ****'' mode, for that period of time when it lasted i had no anxiety most of the time, i didn't think twice about anything. I began to naturally want to socialise and organise events around this time. A lot girls were all over me which was crazy for me yet again, i realized during this time that its true when they say if you treat girls like sh!t or arent too nice they will do anything to have you (it only works if you know how to do it properly, most of the time).

I eventually managed to get the girl i liked a lot, well thats an understatement (since then i haven't liked a girl as much as her), well after the short time we had together which was great, she turned evil and well it crushed me but i tried to bury all the feelings with seeing other girls, partying and doing other stupid stuff teenagers do.

Am i truly happy or am i hiding it all inside of me?:
At this point life was 'good' but something wasn't right i was not happy inside of me there was something missing, on the outside people probably saw me as a cool guy who had friends and girls but inside of me the pain was immense and no one knew i also had anxiety at times but it wasnt that bad. Family problems made me party more so i could forget it all and you know what partying involves. Throughout my high school years i missed a lot of classes and my marks were horrible, this wasn't because i was lazy or being 'rebellious' but because i was depressed ( this happened throughout most of my school life even when i was like 12) , if i didnt go to school i would either be in bed ALL day looking at the ceiling, eating nothing or everything (emotional eating probably) and on some days sitting on my computer playing games nonstop, isolating myself from the world with my window and curtains shut from the outside world. Along with the overload of exams, assignments and homework overdue my mind was going to explode.

Another fast forward in time now: i went to school less and less, I didnt go out as much with friends or in public and was even more depressed, there was a lot of factors contributing to this, i was also getting more anxiety. I eventually missed too many classes and got kicked out, at the time i wasn't a good friend to my closest friends and that resulted in me losing them. Its my fault but the reason for that was because of what i realized what i was capable of in general (you have to be in my shoes to understand) , the fact i went from a 'loser' that never kissed a girl and was willing to accept the fact he probably won't ever get laid to the complete opposite of that. It just gave me an ******* mentality.
(The two paragraphs above are about two years of my life in terms of anxiety,emotion,school,friends,girls,depression,anger etc)

The end of a downward spiral: 
So now its january (not this year) and everyone is back at school on their final year it hits me that they all graduate and i don't, im at home worse than ever, weight gain, depressed, doing nothing with my life, my anxiety was so bad that if i went to most public places i would feel like an alien making contact with humans for the first time (best way i could say it) that was the worst anxiety i have ever gotten socially, to be honest i don't think it could be worse than that.

I decided to to see a psychologist and get help, it did great things for me and i put effort again into the way i looked and slowly started facing my anxiety, luckily i have some good friends just none that would understand SA but its better than zero friends.

Conclusion time (finally!)
the following has happened in the past few months/weeks/now:

- i am fit, dress well, look good
- finishing my last year of school (big challenge anxiety wise, eg speeches)
- confidence is slowly gaining.
- more friends
- social skills are coming back slowly
- anxiety decreasing
- looking for a job now, probably retail
- way more happier than i was months ago

My triumph in all this was when i managed to improve myself as a person in as many ways as i could and pushed myself to socialize, it all eventually paid off and i was happy socially and anxiety wise.

I'll never forget when i got hit by a car. every time i cross a road or walk on a pathway next to a road im too cautious and more 'worried' than the average person would be, but i don't show it on the outside (people can't tell).

One last thing, the point of this post is to prove if you improve yourself personality wise and looks do count as well, you will feel better about yourself and through that = less anxiety. But you need to put effort in it and face your fears with that as well. I could go on but im sure you get the point. The only reason i lost my fight to anxiety when i was 'extroverted' was because everything just caved in on me and i had to start from the beginning.

Make me proud you guys.

Goal date to be anxiety free: before december this year.


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## i just want luv (Feb 13, 2011)

Good stuff written.
Thats phanomenal how you recover from that place man,
and that you keep on pushing at that, theres much props due.


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## bittertaste (Jul 2, 2011)

> its true when they say if you treat girls like sh!t or arent too nice they will do anything to have you


I read it, stopped at this to calm myself, then finished it. I really wish people would stop spreading this horrible rumor. If I hadn't been treated like **** by guys my whole life I wouldn't be in the place I am now.


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## AlekaHarlow (Aug 26, 2011)

Woah, your story sounds a lot like mine! I went through the same cycle, had my social peak then bam! started to descend until I was a complete recluse. Now I'm slowly trying to get going again, I miss the life I used to live, I miss all the excitement 

Congratulations on the triumphs, keep going!


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## daniel11206 (Jul 1, 2009)

hey dude can u give me advice on making conversations with new people at school?


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## Dr Hobo Scratch MD (Jun 24, 2011)

sounds similiar


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

bittertaste said:


> I read it, stopped at this to calm myself, then finished it. I really wish people would stop spreading this horrible rumor. If I hadn't been treated like **** by guys my whole life I wouldn't be in the place I am now.


They just aren't consciously aware of that they like it, that is the only misconception about this statement you have conflicts with.


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## bittertaste (Jul 2, 2011)

Dr House said:


> They just aren't consciously aware of that they like it, that is the only misconception about this statement you have conflicts with.


I feel very sorry for whatever girl ends up with you, then.


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## eric254 (Nov 8, 2010)

Dr House said:


> They just aren't consciously aware of that they like it, that is the only misconception about this statement you have conflicts with.


Girls like jerky guys because they display confidence, don't chase after the girl, and are upfront about their jerkiness. It's possible to have confidence and be a nice guy, it's just rare, and there are loads of jerks, so girls fall into that trap.


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