# Why Do Husbands Get Bored Of Their Wives Soon After Wedding?



## G girl (Apr 6, 2011)

What make husbands get sick of their wives not too long after the wedding? Why can not some men stay faithful?


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## JamesV (Apr 13, 2011)

I'm sure plenty of women get bored of their husbands soon after getting married to them too. I guess men are generally a bit less interested in monogamy though, I think it's an instinctive thing.


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## Ivan AG (Sep 29, 2010)

Check the previous thread with the evolutionary explanation. 

Men are more likely to have multiple partners because of the minimal parental investment.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

Over 70% of divorces are files by women. You tell me who gets bored?


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## Man Is An Island (Oct 12, 2009)

heroin said:


> Over 70% of divorces are files by women. You tell me who gets bored?


Why do you think they file them?


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## letitrock (Jan 10, 2009)

heroin said:


> Over 70% of divorces are files by women. You tell me who gets bored?


besides the other reasons for divorce, they get sick of the bull**** caused by the men


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

letitrock said:


> besides the other reasons for divorce, they get sick of the bull**** caused by the men


Yeah. The patriarchy makes everyone do it.


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## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

letitrock said:


> besides the other reasons for divorce, they get sick of the bull**** caused by the men


Orrrr they just get bored. Pretty sure I've seen, firsthand, enough instances where that was the *only* reason they filed for divorce to know it's a possibility.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

****Thread Lock Watch****
Um, wow. Read what you guys are saying again.


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

:shock 

In b4 lock!


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

Anyone can get bored in a relationship, regardless of gender. There's all this excitement leading up to the wedding, the "big day," so when it's over, it gets boring. It's like "This is it? This is marriage?" It's not much different if the couple had already been co-habitating before marriage.

Some people can't remain faithful because they have an avoidant attachment style. Perhaps there IS an evolutionary basis for why some people just want to um, spread their seed, but I won't get into this.


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## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

joinmartin said:


> Is the person filing for divorce always the one who wants a divorce and or the person who caused the need for the divorce? The answer to that is no.


I agree. But I think the burden of proof lies upon letitrock for implying that the female initiator is frequently the victim in the situation. I didn't make an absolute claim; just that women *can* get bored and file for divorce, and further, that it happens a fair amount. I must say, I find it interesting that you chose only to challenge my claim and not hers.


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## brucewayne (Mar 9, 2011)

hmmm, perhaps they suddenly discover things that they didnt like?


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## lanzman (Jun 14, 2004)

Because 90% of most people's lives are dull and boring. So being with another person is not likely going to change that reality. If you get into relationships looking to have the other person indefinitely entertain you, its likely going to fail miserably.


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## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

People can get bored with each other in a marriage the same as they can while dating. Why do most people quit dating? There are an infinite number of reasons.


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

Sometimes, not all, it's because after the wedding women start acting like wives and less like gfs... and men start acting like husbands instead of like bfs... it all becomes about everyday life and they forget to treat each other like the loves of their lives and they neglect to show appreciation and make the time for each other and they stop really listening to each other... they assume they know it all and don't want to or can't be bothered to do more. Often once the ring is on they become lazy and lax in putting forth the effort they did to look nice, treat each other with as much respect or dignity. 

When I married my husband... both of them actually... quit working within weeks or months of me saying I DO... up until that point both of them worked and saved money and were polite and respectful. My second husband within a month of the wedding relapsed to alcoholism and within 3 months was becoming abusive. Up until the wedding there were few red flags that this would happen. But I was stupid and married way too soon the second time... The first time... I waited a year and lived with the man I married... for the most part it he was decent... but was way too judgmental after the wedding... that drove a wedge between us and destroyed what little intimacy we'd retained.


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## BKrakow (Jul 8, 2010)

because monogamy is damn boring.


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## BoAKaN (May 4, 2011)

I think the blame is mutual. Many couples change after marriage and try to be this new couple that they weren't before. Maybe it's the added stress of possibly living to their families standards or feeling like they have this new responsibility that they didn't have before. Either way, both people tend to change which in turn makes it like two completely different people in a marriage together that no longer know each other. Marriage does not mean anyone has to change, it's just a title...As long as a couple still tries to get their partner excited, intimately and emotionally, and both remain open to each other, I think there should be no problems or being bored of each other. It takes two people to make a relationship, and when one person keeps their feelings hidden or tries to change, things won't work well.

I've never been married so I'm just speaking from what I think about the subject.


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## IcemanKilmer (Feb 20, 2011)

G girl said:


> What make husbands get sick of their wives not too long after the wedding? Why can not some men stay faithful?


First, I'd like to point out that 66% of marriages are ended by the female.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article77126.ece

Once the excitement of being married dies down after like a year or so, I would imagine some of them start to realize they are stuck with this one person for the rest of their lives. It seems it would be easy to get bored. You'd have to have sex with the same person over and over and over.

I bet the thought of having sex with another person starts to sound really tempting to a lot of these people after a while.


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## Akane (Jan 2, 2008)

All marriages I know of which ended was because the people (especially women) expected that after marriage the other person and things in the relationship would change. That their spouse would become a better partner and more compromises would happen. What really happens is things stay exactly the same as before marriage and they realize they can't change the other person and they don't want that for the rest of their lives.


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

Akane said:


> All marriages I know of which ended was because the people (especially women) expected that after marriage the other person and things in the relationship would change. That their spouse would become a better partner and more compromises would happen. What really happens is things stay exactly the same as before marriage and they realize they can't change the other person and they don't want that for the rest of their lives.


That's a pretty good bare bones description of how my marriage progressed and ended. Both my ex and I had these naive expectations.


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## G girl (Apr 6, 2011)

*Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work?*

i need your ideas on this people.


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## G girl (Apr 6, 2011)

hmmmmmmmm


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## ghosts_of_never (Aug 6, 2008)

A lot of people just don't bond very well. It's not in their psyche. And people get bored with what they have. "Grass is greener..."

Often with men I think a lot of it is them not feeling appreciated, so their focus wanders off. Then a lot of women I've seen simply get bored. Some women lose interest when their man isn't working his way up the career ladder, while getting focused on a new man who is.


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## Emptyheart101 (May 18, 2011)

Marriage scares me.


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## RUFB2327 (Sep 28, 2008)

Because the women stop putting out


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## equiiaddict (Jun 27, 2006)

Its not always the husbands. Plenty of women are like this too. I can speak from experience - I know way more girls that have cheated on their boyfriends than guys than have cheated on their girlfriends. Explain that one.
But people probably stray because their expectations are way too high about the marriage. They think that just because they're married - its supposed to be super exciting and busy all the time and it just doesn't work like that. They still need to work at the relationship. They get lazy.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

G girl said:


> What make husbands get sick of their wives not too long after the wedding? Why can not some men stay faithful?


 That probably depends a whole lot on the man. Since this isn't true of all men (though maybe sometimes it might seem like it).

What I will say is that usually, a married man is what women refer to as "a good catch". He usually is stable with a decent job, confident and able to take care of himself. A wedding ring on a man's finger might as well be a billboard for other women advertising that this guy has all the things they're looking for in a man. Thus, married men are no doubt under a lot of constant pressure with women flirting with them.

But I don't think that's the whole story. And certainly a man who cheats is at least responsible for his own actions. I'm not blaming it all on the women men cheat with.

Another aspect of it is that men are just sexually restless. I know it sounds stupid but I guess you'd just have to live a few decades in male shoes to know what I mean. Men love women and we like to look. We feel like we have to look. And of course, that's what gets men into trouble. It's harder than it seems to just look.

If you're asking why a married man would start treating his wife bad shortly after marriage, I don't think I have an answer for that. I really don't know and would say it's probably the kind of thing that you'd have to look at on a case by case basis. I feel bad for anyone (male or female) who gets stuck in a bad marriage though. I was just reading something written by a man whose wife had just drifted away from him while he tried everything he could think of to make her happy.


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## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

i think it's a 'grass is greener on the other side' kind of thing. the key is to be grateful...


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

So, the moral of this story: shack up but never get married. LOL


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## Emptyheart101 (May 18, 2011)

RUFB2327 said:


> Because the women stop putting out


So basically all a women is good for to a man is sex?


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## Charizard (Feb 16, 2011)

Emptyheart101 said:


> So basically all a women is good for to a man is sex?


That's not what that person said at all, only that it's an important aspect of an intimate relationship.

Personally, the bias in this thread is silly. People of both genders get bored soon after getting married. The big reason for this, I think, is that people reason along the lines of "I'm married, I'm not dating any more. I don't have to worry about staying in shape, or being charming, etc." and they don't realize that maintaining a relationship still requires putting in that effort.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I think a lot of people mistake lust for love. And they also mistake the embers dying as a reason for divorce.

Sometimes the embers are better than the fire.


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## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

Lazyness .. letting themselves go and look like sh.it.... or they stop giving head and doing freaky sh.i.t and sex is routine and also... you cant introduce something in sex "just this one time"... if a guy likes he will want to do it again everytime ... be careful if its not for you dont even bother experimenting.. lmao.. this sounds horrible but whatever its the ****ing truth in some cases.. the rest probably has to do with emotions/bitter feelings for whatever other relationship reasons.. but sexually this is what i bet on lol


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## Witchcraft (Jan 19, 2010)

I think it's because of the prevailent misconception that there has to be "an ideal relationship". People are looking for something that is everlasting and effortlessly perfect. I think in every relationship you have to constantly put effort to make it special before and after marriage. And also, people are reluctant to change and make compromises in order to save a marriage.


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

It's an instinctual thing. Women are wired to seek out 1 stable, successful protector/provider to provide and protect for their progeny. Men on the other hand are wired to spread their genetic code as far as possible. This means progeny by multiple partners which insures the continuation of their genetic line.

The human race is made up of 2 symbiotic species that are actually quite different from each other physically, as well as mentally.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

Amocholes said:


> Women are wired to seek out 1 stable, successful protector/provider to provide and protect for their progeny. Men on the other hand are wired to spread their genetic code as far as possible.


Myth.


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## Makaveli (Jul 15, 2009)

JennaMarie said:


> Its not always the husbands. Plenty of women are like this too. I can speak from experience - I know way more girls that have cheated on their boyfriends than guys than have cheated on their girlfriends. Explain that one.
> But people probably stray because their expectations are way too high about the marriage. They think that just because they're married - its supposed to be super exciting and busy all the time and it just doesn't work like that. They still need to work at the relationship. They get lazy.


It's no surprise then that things are no different once a marriage ensues. It's a long-term relationship with some paperwork. The amount of cheating that occurs whilst dating is probably similar to that within marriage but when you are tied legally it is alot harder to just up and leave and many try and reconcile and work things out, otherwise the divorce rates would be at California levels across the world. A futile exercise in my opinion.



Amocholes said:


> It's an instinctual thing. Women are wired to seek out 1 stable, successful protector/provider to provide and protect for their progeny. Men on the other hand are wired to spread their genetic code as far as possible. This means progeny by multiple partners which insures the continuation of their genetic line.
> 
> The human race is made up of 2 symbiotic species that are actually quite different from each other physically, as well as mentally.


Yet many will seek out 20-30 just for pleasure whilst then seeking out 1 to provide. They're still seeking and if pregnancy cycles were 2 months instead of 9, and there was no such thing as birth control, it'd be a human plague!



Bluepanda said:


> Not true, Women are wired to hunt and seek best genes and gene variety just as much as men are wired to spread them. They almost always cheat's during or just before ovulation.
> 
> There's thousands of horror stories of women cheating and getting pregnant. Studies show that 1 in 8 babies born does not belong to the partner or husband and that number is likely alot higher.
> 
> ...


I don't disagree with that. I'd say most of it would definately occur around ovulation. I'm not buying that 1/8 or more stat though. That's insane.

I also find that 'fact' hard to believe. This whole alpha/beta thing is nonsense and very generalised. A guy can masquerade as alpha even if he's got SA and stuff and impregnate a married woman and she thinks subconsciously that she's sought out the right genes.

Alpha males also are fathers/husbands and providers and lo and behold, they too can and do get cheated on by their wives.

I don't disagree with the fact that about 25% of guys are sleeping with 75% of the women excluding paid sex.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Wives get bored of their husbands, too.

Human beings were never meant to be monogamous. We marry out of society's expectations, but our biological and genetic history says to have sex, sex, and more sex! That is why there is such a divide between the religious virginal, and the atheist ****s. 

I hate to put it that way, but it's really clear that we marry out of necessity, not because of love or anything like that. We feel love, but we don't marry because of it. We marry because of society's expectations of us.


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## Ivan AG (Sep 29, 2010)

Bluepanda said:


> Not true, Women are wired to hunt and seek best genes and gene variety just as much as men are wired to spread them. They almost always cheat's during or just before ovulation.
> 
> There's thousands of horror stories of women cheating and getting pregnant. Studies show that 1 in 8 babies born does not belong to the partner or husband and that number is likely alot higher.
> 
> ...


Wait, this puts a confusing spin on things.

So then those men that choose to stay loyal to their partner instead of "spreading their seed" are going against nature, aren't they?

My dad's a case like this, because he hasn't cheated on my mother once in his life.

Same goes for my mom. She's been loyal for all these years and hasn't been sleeping with any "alphas". There is conflict, but it's not over things like seeking the "best genes" or having multiple partners.

What makes a man beta anyway?


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## LALoner (Dec 3, 2008)

There's a line that men get married thinking this way they will never have to court a woman again and women get married thinking this will make being courted a permanent institution. Lots of men think marriage means the end of ever having to worry about where your next lay is going to come from. When the married guys here the single guys talk like this they almost laugh themselves to death.


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## Ivan AG (Sep 29, 2010)

Makaveli said:


> I don't disagree with the fact that about 25% of guys are sleeping with 75% of the women excluding paid sex.


I've heard variations of this stat.

Another one is that 10% of "alphas" are sleeping with 90% of women.

I have never seen official scientific proof for this.

Not a single stat in any scientific field.

If anyone making this claim could provide one, it would convince me that there is some truth to it.

Otherwise, I'm not convinced one bit.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

G girl said:


> What make husbands get sick of their wives not too long after the wedding? Why can not some men stay faithful?


Don't believe everything you hear because that is BS.


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## theseshackles (Apr 23, 2011)

Because variety is the spice of life :banana


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## sas111 (Oct 20, 2010)

theseshackles said:


> Because variety is the spice of life :banana


:yes

Although, eventually I think everybody will want to settle down, mixing it up all the time seems like a whole lot of effort. Thats why people should get married once they become lazy.


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

Because they are emotionally immature and selfish. Not ready for marriage. What i find amazing is the clues that people ignore before the wedding.


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

I think it's a general problem, not just with men.Often or it seems to me that people get married too early so they don't know the person that they've married that well or they are just too young.

People change and going into marriage should in my opinion only happen when people have been together for some years and know that this person wants the same things as they do.
Relationships also need a lot of work and after you're finished with that in love period where everything is just perfect you're eventually going to hit that bump or even more bumps in the road.I think a lot of people just give up when they hit that bump and that's probably a lot of the reason for why people get divorced these days.

I'm against marriage because I don't see the point of it and you don't need marriage to have a long lasting relationship..


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

Bluepanda said:


> Not true, Women are wired to hunt and seek best genes and gene variety just as much as men are wired to spread them. They almost always cheat's during or just before ovulation.
> 
> There's thousands of horror stories of women cheating and getting pregnant. Studies show that 1 in 8 babies born does not belong to the partner or husband and that number is likely a lot higher.
> 
> ...


Not disqualifying your argument but there is a fair bit of generalization in here. It also makes women sound like horrible monsters and all of them are cheating *****s with no moral fibre whatsoever. Believe me when I say I know much worse men


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Invisible_girl said:


> I'm against marriage because I don't see the point of it and you don't need marriage to have a long lasting relationship..


Favourable legal status in society.

Not everybody cheats though. Reading this thread, it seems like some take cheating for granted.
Variety may be the spice of life, but surely it's within reason; mixing up what you have for dinner or even changing where you work if that becomes stale, but not cheating on your partner :sus
I've never mugged anybody, but I don't much need variety from that.

I think media and society breeds a lot of wrong and harmful ideas of what love and marriage is like. It fosters way too high expectations of what it's like to be in a relationship. People then become disillusioned and feel their needs aren't being met.

If you have 30 min, and don't mind british cynical ranting humour, you should watch Charlie Brooker's "How TV Ruined Your Life" on Love.




.. should note that while it's incredibly funny (imo) it's also horribly depressing ^^,


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## Makaveli (Jul 15, 2009)

Bluepanda said:


> I don't mean alpha in the generalized PUA sense i mean real alphas in the evolutionary sense, very masculine and high testosterone , Natural leader , commanding aura etc, Women can spot true alpha's very easily
> 
> Any man can dress up nice and act like a bad boy to get laid but that's not what a real alpha male is and women know the difference.


So what is the difference between a real alpha and a PUA alpha definition? I'm sure there are millions of false masquerading alphas who are getting laid every week.



> True and yes they get cheated on but it's rare and usually only when a stronger alpha comes along or he does something to piss her off and she gets back at him.


That's making women sound like massive *****s. He can only be a stronger alpha in her eyes anyway. ie; wealthier, more renowned etc



> Loyalty and faithfulness are personal decisions and they exist for the very reason that humans are never attracted to and want sex with just one person.
> 
> All the while the attraction system is still in full operation searching for new mates and creating new attractions to produce new babies regardless of how much we like and love our current partner. Countering that and ignoring it is what we call loyality and remaining faithful. Depending on the circumstance or situation everyone is vulnerable and everyone has a breaking point if they don't act.


 Yeah I pretty much agree with this passage.

If you want proof just look at the pecking order in society.

In school it's the team captain , the athletes and the bad boys.

Later in life it's CEO's , Doctors , Lawyers , Celebs , Rich men , Men of Power , Men with high social status etc.[/QUOTE]


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## Makaveli (Jul 15, 2009)

Bluepanda said:


> Some women are just as men are, I don't think all people are like it and i don't think men are any better than women, Were all human. But 50,000 year's ago it was considered perfectly normal human behaviour. And i don't think that behaviour has disappeared from human society yet.


You have a point. I don't think we're all like this but then I thought, maybe the ones that aren't like this are just those who made the choice/decision to stay loyal/faithful?



> PUA is a one time trick to get a one night stand and only applies to certain situations, usually drunk girls in clubs. It's impossible to masquerade as an alpha in the work place or any other walk of life for more than a day before the jig is up.


So give me an example of an alpha. I'm assuming you refer to alpha in status etc not personality. You can have a CEO or athlete whose a total nutter or unattractive.



> Maybe i don't know, If a better man comes along that she finds more attractive why is it a bad thing for her to want that? She should instead settle in order to keep another person happy while ignoring her own happiness? Relationships are almost always ended by the most attractive partner and they are always most likely to cheat. The less attractive partner is always the most forgiving and less likely to cheat or leave.


Yeah but a better man could come along after a month. That would be akin to sleeping your way to the top. Her own happiness is indicative of finding a 'better man', but if that happens once in a marriage then dont get married because it'll always happen. You'r basically saying don't get married because let's face it, everyone can 'do better'.

Attraction is relative. It's pretty blanket to say it's usually the most attractive partner, whose judging the level of attraction? If Brangelina split up because Brad dumped her or cheated for someone else, it's all opinion based to say that the woman he cheated with is 'better' than Angelina or that Brad is more attractive therefore that is why he cheated, and vice versa.



> Most relationships start of equally but someone will put on weight , lose a job , get a promotion , get in shape whatever. If at some point one partner becomes more attractive that's when they become less attracted to there partner and more attracted to someone else equally or better attractive than them in the work place or other walk of life, Cheating , affairs or end of the relationship follows at some point if the partner doesn't step up.
> 
> Relationships where couples leap frog each other in attractiveness or remain equal survive alot better.


The first paragraph sounds eerily similar to what happened with me a few years ago. Got a new job, was going to the gym regularly, became close with a girl from work who was new as well, hung out got close and eventually wanted to break up with my long term gf for her instead of cheating on my gf whilst in a relationship (although that's still cheating, of the emotional kind). Although what perpetuated it was the conflict within the r'ship with my then gf.

What do you mean though if the partner doesn't step up? The innocent one or the cheater?

How can you leapfrog eachother in attractiveness lol?


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## Misanthropic (Jun 25, 2010)

G girl said:


> What make husbands get sick of their wives not too long after the wedding? Why can not some men stay faithful?


Statistically, women are more likely to end a relationship, take longer to fall in love and fall out of love easier (according to a study I read, not my personal observations).

I've never gotten 'bored' of any woman I've ever had a crush on or been attracted to, even if my feelings may not always be as intense.

Although open relationships probably come with other problems, people might be less likely to become 'bored' with the partners if they were allowed some variety.


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