# Really tempted to have sex with this girl who I'm not interested in.



## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

So theres this girl I went on a few dates with last year, she really likes me but I'm not interested in her which I've politely told her many times. She won't take no for an answer though and keeps contacting me through pof, facebook and text, even though I hardly ever reply to her. She just will not give up, even when I lied and told her I was in a relationship, she still didnt give up pursuing me. I could literally go round to her place right now and sleep with her if I want. I know its a bad idea but I havent had sex in a long time and really need to get laid lol. The only thing thats stopping this from happening is me, and I dont know how much longer I can keep holding out for when I'm constantly being tempted like this.


Should I do the typical guy thing and go round to her place, or should I carry on being a sexually frustrated nice guy?


----------



## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Why aren't you interested in her? She may be trying to lure you into a relationship with sex. I had a woman do that to me a few years ago. I did not go for it. She was not being nice to her cat. I adopted the cat.

If you let her know this is no strings sex and you don;t want a relationship I see no ethical problem with what you are doing. There still may be problems with it. Could she be some kind of bunny boiler?


----------



## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

scarpia said:


> Why aren't you interested in her? She may be trying to lure you into a relationship with sex. I had a woman do that to me a few years ago. I did not go for it. She was not being nice to her cat. I adopted the cat.
> 
> If you let her know this is no strings sex and you don;t want a relationship I see no ethical problem with what you are doing. There still may be problems with it. Could she be some kind of bunny boiler?


Mainly because I'm not attracted to her. Plus she is needy and clingy, and her personality is kinda annoying too. I know full well she is trying to lure me into a relationship with sex. She suggested the fwb thing before, but then admitted that she hoped it would lead to more. I did not go for it that time.

I don't think she is a bunny boiler, just kinda desperate to get with a nice guy really. From what I gather, all other guys she's been with have treated her like total garbage.


----------



## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

Honestly sleeping with her is a bad idea. Sex with someone you like (on her end) will make her even more into you. I don't care if she "agrees" that it means nothing, just to get you into bed. Speaking as someone who has tried, and slept with 2 former crushes it made getting over them even more of a B... 

Unless you are ready for even more of a world of Clingy (since she is acting that way already) I'd stay away from that.


----------



## creasy (Oct 29, 2012)

You already know it's a bad idea, so....I dunno what to tell you. I don't think sleeping with her is a "typical guy thing" most dudes would see the warning signs and steer clear especially with a chick they're not attracted to, although to be fair the typical guy probably doesn't suffer such dry spells. Maybe you should fap to some porn and reconsider.


----------



## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

creasy said:


> You already know it's a bad idea, so....I dunno what to tell you. I don't think sleeping with her is a "typical guy thing" most dudes would see the warning signs and steer clear especially with a chick they're not attracted to, although to be fair the typical guy probably doesn't suffer such dry spells. *Maybe you should fap to some porn and reconsider.*


Thats what I've done in the past when she was tempting me before, but porn is really starting to bore the hell out of me. It just reminds me of how much I'm missing out on the real thing.

I told some guys I know about this, and they thought it was hilarious that I hadn't slept with her yet. To them, turning down offers of sex with a woman who is practically begging for it is unimaginable.


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

nemesis1 said:


> Thats what I've done in the past when she was tempting me before, but porn is really starting to bore the hell out of me. It just reminds me of how much I'm missing out on the real thing.
> 
> I told some guys I know about this, and they thought it was hilarious that I hadn't slept with her yet. To them, turning down offers of sex with a woman who is practically begging for it is unimaginable.


If you're not even attracted to her physically then it's like...bleh. IMHO though as long as you are clear with a girl what your intentions are, anything is fair game. And since you've been more than clear, I think you have every right to go for it. That being said, she will probably annoy the hell out of you afterwards. If you can deal with that, then go for it.


----------



## creasy (Oct 29, 2012)

Do you know if she's good in bed? If not then it'll just be a waste of time, plus you'll have her hounding you even more. Too much risk for too little payoff. 

If you can be cool with using her for sex and dealing with her clingyness though, go ahead, it's really not that big a deal.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

I'll be honest, I've done this before. I kinda felt badly about it, but I did make sure her needs were met in bed. These arrangements never lasted long for me as I kinda felt guilty about it.


----------



## JGreenwood (Jan 28, 2011)

You are blessed with a golden opportunity here my friend. Use this chance to do all of the crazy perverted stuff you've ever wanted to do with a girl. If she's this desperate she will be down for anything. I say dive in and have fun. Everyone needs to let some out every once in a while.


----------



## apartment7 (Aug 25, 2007)

Let this thread be a warning to the females on this site.

Pathetic bunch of sexually inadequate creeps. Remember their names.


----------



## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

Dont bother.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

apartment7 said:


> Let this thread be a warning to the females on this site.
> 
> Pathetic bunch of sexually inadequate creeps. Remember their names.


Big judgment to make without knowing the particulars, my friend.


----------



## squall78 (Feb 17, 2012)

apartment7 said:


> Let this thread be a warning to the females on this site.
> 
> Pathetic bunch of sexually inadequate creeps. Remember their names.


Alright cool remember me.

Just go for it. If you tell her you want sex and she gives it to you then what's the problem?


----------



## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

nemesis1 said:


> Mainly because I'm not attracted to her. Plus she is needy and clingy, and her personality is kinda annoying too. I know full well she is trying to lure me into a relationship with sex. She suggested the fwb thing before, but then admitted that she hoped it would lead to more. I did not go for it that time.
> 
> I don't think she is a bunny boiler, just kinda desperate to get with a nice guy really. From what I gather, all other guys she's been with have treated her like total garbage.


 Well then she is liable to get mad at you when you break it off after finding a woman who you ARE attracted to. Will you be able to break it off with her when the time comes? It sounds like she is going to be the kind who can't do the FWB thing if she's clingy. I would not do it - it would be taking advantage of her weakness to me.


----------



## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Eh, from a female's perspective i'd say go for it, as long as she's completely aware that it's strictly casual, no-strings-attached sex that will never develop into anything. At least you are aware of her intentions to lure you into a relationship, and of the fact that she will most likely become even more clingy after sex. Have fun dealing with that, it's your choice. :lol


----------



## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

If you do it she will want you 10 times more than now and will become more clingy (based on the info you provided about her). This is what happens in such a situation.


----------



## Doomed (Jul 29, 2012)




----------



## NeveS (Sep 3, 2011)

^ilol


----------



## TryingMara (Mar 25, 2012)

apartment7 said:


> Let this thread be a warning to the females on this site.
> 
> Pathetic bunch of sexually inadequate creeps. Remember their names.


Noted.

She wouldn't leave you alone after just a few dates, how much worse will it be after you sleep with her? If you have an inkling that she has feelings for you, more than just wanting to get you into bed, it would be cruel to go through with it even if you make your intentions clear. Based on how you know she's already acted after minimal contact, this would most likey just mess with her emotions.


----------



## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

Do it. Dont listen to the many virgins and disaffected people who will hate on you here. If you can hit, hit. Then on to the next one.


----------



## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

nemesis1 said:


> Thats what I've done in the past when she was tempting me before, but porn is really starting to bore the hell out of me. It just reminds me of how much I'm missing out on the real thing.
> 
> I told some guys I know about this, and they thought it was hilarious that I hadn't slept with her yet. To them, turning down offers of sex with a woman who is practically begging for it is unimaginable.


Sounds like my friends, that last part. This girl might as well have a vagina for a face, cause that's all your friends see her as. It's good that you're considering the fact that she's a person, who has been hurt and used before, and that you don't want to really do that...easy sex would be so much fun.

I think you'll feel better about yourself if you don't...and I know you won't enjoy how clingy she gets if you do use her for sex.


----------



## Scorpio90 (Oct 17, 2012)

Huhm, be careful, haha, it's risky anw =]]
Girls are dangerous, I know many girls who just want to put guys in a trap cuz they need a husband or someone to be responsible for the baby in her belly now =)) 
I'm just kidding, but you shouldn't have s*x with those whom you don't like or you'll regret ^^


----------



## Secretly Pretentious (Dec 18, 2011)

awkwardsilent said:


> Honestly sleeping with her is a bad idea. Sex with someone you like (on her end) will make her even more into you. I don't care if she "agrees" that it means nothing, just to get you into bed. Speaking as someone who has tried, and slept with 2 former crushes it made getting over them even more of a B...
> 
> Unless you are ready for even more of a world of Clingy (since she is acting that way already) I'd stay away from that.


I agree with this. I'm very impressed and admire you a lot for avoiding the temptation thus far. It's quite clear that you're exerting a lot of will power to do the right thing. By not sleeping with her, you're saving her from more false hope and saving yourself from escalating the problem.


----------



## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

nemesis1 said:


> So theres this girl I went on a few dates with last year, she really likes me but I'm not interested in her which I've politely told her many times. She won't take no for an answer though and keeps contacting me through pof, facebook and text, even though I hardly ever reply to her. She just will not give up, even when I lied and told her I was in a relationship, she still didnt give up pursuing me. I could literally go round to her place right now and sleep with her if I want. I know its a bad idea but I havent had sex in a long time and really need to get laid lol. The only thing thats stopping this from happening is me, and I dont know how much longer I can keep holding out for when I'm constantly being tempted like this.
> 
> Should I do the typical guy thing and go round to her place, or should I carry on being a sexually frustrated nice guy?


lol, it's seems to me she won't be happy until you "dog" her out. But I think you are leading her on as well, all you have to do is cut her off completely and file a police report if you really wanted her to stop "pestering" but it feels good to have someone show interest in you regardless whether you think they are attractive or not, you are probably getting a glimpse of what women "enjoy" doing, keeping someone on a string pretending they don't like the attention they get.


----------



## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

JGreenwood said:


> You are blessed with a golden opportunity here my friend. Use this chance to do all of the crazy perverted stuff you've ever wanted to do with a girl. If she's this desperate she will be down for anything. I say dive in and have fun. Everyone needs to let some out every once in a while.


This is what I've been thinking. Opportunities like this don't come along very often for socially anxious guys.....infact never judging by some of the stuff I read on this forum. The fact that she is still throwing chances my way after I've turned her down so many times is crazy to me.



tbyrfan said:


> Eh, from a female's perspective i'd say go for it, as long as she's completely aware that it's strictly casual, no-strings-attached sex that will never develop into anything. At least you are aware of her intentions to lure you into a relationship, and of the fact that she will most likely become even more clingy after sex. Have fun dealing with that, it's your choice. :lol





Freiheit said:


> If you do it she will want you 10 times more than now and will become more clingy (based on the info you provided about her). This is what happens in such a situation.


I'm fully aware her clingyness is probably gonna go into overdrive if I do sleep with her. But at this point I'm kinda willing to put up with that to get over my 'dry spell' lol. I guess I'll just deal with the consequences later.



theseventhkey said:


> lol, it's seems to me she won't be happy until you "dog" her out. But I think you are leading her on as well, all you have to do is cut her off completely and file a police report if you really wanted her to stop "pestering" but it feels good to have someone show interest in you regardless whether you think they are attractive or not, you are probably getting a glimpse of what women "enjoy" doing, keeping someone on a string pretending they don't like the attention they get.


I have thought about completely cutting her off, but I would feel kinda bad about doing that. I mean its not like she's pestering me 24/7 or anything like that. And your right, it does feel good to have someone show this much interest in me. Its been a long time since anyone has, and its pretty flattering tbh.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

87wayz said:


> Do it. Dont listen to the many virgins and disaffected people who will hate on you here. If you can hit, hit. Then on to the next one.


Weren't you the one that created this thread?

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f40/how-many-is-too-many-193531/


----------



## General Specific (Mar 4, 2008)

Go for it man. As long as you let her know that you're only after sex and not a relationship.



apartment7 said:


> Let this thread be a warning to the females on this site.
> 
> Pathetic bunch of sexually inadequate creeps. Remember their names.


At least my ones easy to remember, douchebag. Sounds like you're jealous this guy has the opportunity to get some action while you have to sit at home playing with yourself. See, I can make assumptions too.


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

In the same dilemma as you now. Dolan ^^ is right on the money though, as long as you're very clear and repeat many times how it is going to be i.e. no promise of emotional investment or a relationship and she still decides to partake in intercourse with you, then she does that having made the decision for herself and with all the personal consequences considered.

I don't think it really matters what others are saying here now anyway, because it seems you've already made up your mind. :b


----------



## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

nemesis1 said:


> I have thought about completely cutting her off, but I would feel kinda bad about doing that. I mean its not like she's pestering me 24/7 or anything like that. And your right, it does feel good to have someone show this much interest in me. Its been a long time since anyone has, and its pretty flattering tbh.


Lol, like I said, women are guilty of this. They'll keep someone around they have absolutely no interest in only to be a "EGO BOOSTER". Oh the ****ed up games we play.


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

apartment7 said:


> Let this thread be a warning to the females on this site.
> 
> Pathetic bunch of sexually inadequate creeps. Remember their names.





Aces_Shy said:


> At least my ones easy to remember, douchebag. Sounds like you're jealous this guy has the opportunity to get some action while you have to sit at home playing with yourself. See, I can make assumptions too.


----------



## shy_guy (Oct 11, 2009)

I used to do this A LOT when I was a teen. String a girl I wasn't attracted to along just so I can have sex with her whenever I wanted. if I didn't have s.a.d I wouldn't have to do this... but u know how it goes! It can be a lot fun but its also brang me a lot of stalkers and drama when I had to break it off. Good luck bro


----------



## General Specific (Mar 4, 2008)

The question is, would you be able to 'perform' if you really aren't attracted to her?


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

shy_guy said:


> I used to do this A LOT when I was a teen. String a girl I wasn't attracted to along just so I can have sex with her whenever I wanted. if I didn't have s.a.d I wouldn't have to do this... but u know how it goes! It can be a lot fun but its also brang me a lot of stalkers and drama when I had to break it off. Good luck bro


What does this have to do with stringing a girl along? If he tells her that he doesn't want anything serious and she still wants sex, it's not stringing her along (purposely anyway). If she thinks there's still a shot then that's her issue, but if he's honest about his intentions then technically there's no deceiving going on.


----------



## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

^ this... I presume ya'll just think of someone else you are attracted to?... I guess...


----------



## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

komorikun said:


> Weren't you the one that created this thread?
> 
> http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f40/how-many-is-too-many-193531/


Haha, you got me in a double standard.... now what? Lol


----------



## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

Aces_Shy said:


> The question is, would you be able to 'perform' if you really aren't attracted to her?


This is something I used to worry about, but I've found that usually the sight of a naked woman's body in the flesh is enough to get me aroused even if I don't find the face all that. And especially when one has not had any 'action' for a long time.

Although there was this one girl a few years back who I couldn't perform for. But to say I was lowering my standards for her would be a massive understatement. :afr


----------



## Bryan108 (Mar 1, 2012)

Id love to be in your position


----------



## F1X3R (Jul 20, 2009)

shy_guy said:


> I used to do this A LOT when I was a teen. String a girl I wasn't attracted to along just so I can have sex with her whenever I wanted. if I didn't have s.a.d I wouldn't have to do this... but u know how it goes! It can be a lot fun but its also brang me a lot of stalkers and drama when I had to break it off. Good luck bro


Yes, this is just another example of how debilitating the condition of social anxiety can be. Hopefully, with advancements in therapy, education and other treatments, we can finally create a world where people will not have to suffer through the shame of stringing along others or lowering their standards for sex.


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

F1X3R said:


> Yes, this is just another example of how debilitating the condition of social anxiety can be. Hopefully, with advancements in therapy, education and other treatments, we can finally create a world where people will not have to suffer through the shame of stringing along others or lowering their standards for sex.


 It seems there may be the unintended implication here that anyone who comments in this thread is somehow liably attached to the values and/or behaviours of the OP or anybody else who decides to air the composition of their moral fibres. So I'm just gonna go right ahead and take that notion here in my hand now, toss it on the ground and here we go *stomps the hell out of it*.

But, what the heck! I reconsidered that thought and reached the conclusion that instead we might just have a few 'quick to jump' members from the National Pretentious Association among us.


----------



## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

awkwardsilent said:


> Honestly sleeping with her is a bad idea. Sex with someone you like (on her end) will make her even more into you. I don't care if she "agrees" that it means nothing, just to get you into bed. Speaking as someone who has tried, and slept with 2 former crushes it made getting over them even more of a B...
> 
> Unless you are ready for even more of a world of Clingy (since she is acting that way already) I'd stay away from that.


I agree. It's a bad idea.
It'd be all too easy to really hurt her. And no matter how clingy she is or how little she takes a hint, she doesn't deserve that.
When she's that into you, she'd likely agree to anything you asked of her without thinking it properly through, so it really falls to you to be the responsible one.


----------



## meeps (Dec 5, 2011)

apartment7 said:


> Let this thread be a warning to the females on this site.
> 
> Pathetic bunch of sexually inadequate creeps. Remember their names.




so many slimeballs here. sad.


----------



## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

apartment7 said:


> Let this thread be a warning to the females on this site.
> Pathetic bunch of sexually inadequate creeps. Remember their names.


You're very pathetically self-righteous, sir.

To the original poster: You should go for it. Do you know how much some of us would want to be in your position? If you went out on previous dates with her, she must have been at least attractive enough to get your attention, right? Just make sure she knows that it's just sex (i.e., actually tell her those exact words, don't just surmise that she agrees). I also agree with what "JGreenwood" said about it being a "golden opportunity".


----------



## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

She could be real good in bed.


----------



## F1X3R (Jul 20, 2009)

Railroad Cancellation said:


> It seems there may be the unintended implication here that anyone who comments in this thread is somehow liably attached to the values and/or behaviours of the OP or anybody else who decides to air the composition of their moral fibres. So I'm just gonna go right ahead and take that notion here in my hand now, toss it on the ground and here we go *stomps the hell out of it*.
> 
> But, what the heck! I reconsidered that thought and reached the conclusion that instead we might just have a few 'quick to jump' members from the National Pretentious Association among us.


No, you could argue this is a morally ambiguous situation, after all she bears some responsibility for her own feelings if he's made it clear he's not serious.

But don't blame your mental disorder for being a hypocrite, don't throw a pity party for yourself for using others and don't use your SA as an excuse to be the kind of person that supposedly causes SA to begin with. I didn't say that's what the OP is doing. That's why I responded to ShyGuy's post.


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Why would you want to do it, then?
That's not fair for her, or you in the long run.


----------



## kj87 (Sep 30, 2012)

squall78 said:


> Alright cool remember me.
> 
> Just go for it. If you tell her you want sex and she gives it to you then what's the problem?


Because it's using someone.


----------



## apartment7 (Aug 25, 2007)

IcedOver said:


> You're very pathetically self-righteous, sir.


Your opinion. You're welcome to it.

I don't condone trying to persuade people to use women for sex. WOW what a prude I am.

The site moderation seems a little slack so I hope I'm able to say that there are some nasty little wankers on this site who don't have any basic sense of right and wrong.


----------



## Penny (Mar 2, 2012)

Thread closed.
Topic explored = moving toward personal attacks now
Time to chill


----------

