# I'm oficially the biggest social loser at my college



## Nilufar (Jan 17, 2014)

I've attended this college for one year now and I see while everybody found their own group or close friends, I don't have any friends here, barely some acquaintances to whom I speak between classes. There's no one to call me out in the evening, although everybody else has a rich social life... 

I don't understand what I've done wrong.. I've always been friendly to people. I smiled a lot at them. I wanted to help them whenever they needed something. I tried to start the conversation. I am not ugly either.. 

I wouldn't have thought going to a school with only 200 people would be so though. I should have imagined everybody would know everybody and that it would feel even worse to be a loser.. when you just can't hide it/get lost in the crowd. 

The only person that seems to be alone as often as me is my roommate but she's actually ok with that. She spends all her time on her phone talking to her friends and her boyfriend and making plans with her for when she comes home.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

I've been asked if I do cannabis because a lot of students were sharing it. Not sure if they were selling it. Some of them asked me if I wanted to join them and I said no. I have work the next day. Cannabis does not make me focus and alert like it does to other people. It's the exact opposite. A lot of people are a bad influence. I don't care about hanging out by myself.


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## Nilufar (Jan 17, 2014)

Farideh said:


> I've been asked if I do cannabis because a lot of students were sharing it. Not sure if they were selling it. Some of them asked me if I wanted to join them and I said no. I have work the next day. Cannabis does not make me focus and alert like it does to other people. It's the exact opposite. A lot of people are a bad influence. I don't care about hanging out by myself.


Agreed, cannabis only gives you inspiration and you can enjoy it while you smoke it, after it's true it damages certain parts of your brain that are responsible for your concentration and motivation.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

I can relate. I'm going into my 3rd year of college this year and I haven't made a single friend. But I hope things look up for you.


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## Nilufar (Jan 17, 2014)

mezzoforte said:


> I can relate. I'm going into my 3rd year of college this year and I haven't made a single friend. But I hope things look up for you.


Thanks, I hope everything gets better for you too ^^ 
I actually have just one year left here, then I'll have to spend one year abroad and two more years in another city for my master. So I'll actually stay nowhere long enough to worry too much.


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

My college experience wasn't any better. I was only popular around exams when some colleagues would want to sit next to me to copy(cheat).

The bright side is you still have time to find at least a friend. Hope things will go your way. Good luck!


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## keithjm (Apr 25, 2014)

College was friendless for me. I remember I got a call from a friend of my mother who had a daughter who would be going to the same university I was already in. This mother was afraid that her daughter would be in a big university with no one to socialize with. So they I asked if this daughter could call me. I said SURE. Two weeks go by, four weeks go by--no call. I call home and asked what happened. By their account, this new college student did not call me because within a week of her arrival she had so many friends that call me was not necessary. She had more friends in week that I could ever get in 4 years college. So I was in my dorm room alone while this two week student was already doing the social scene. I also remember how this one student athlete (from Peru) who could barely speak English, had more friends in a week that I could get in a lifetime. It was comical to see him trying to communicate in his VERY limited English and have some many friends. The girls were all over him.


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## Live Through This (Aug 24, 2014)

lol, "do cannabis"


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## pvvi (Sep 6, 2014)

I started college just this year. Before classes started, I had made two friends right off the bat. One of whom I had a lot in common with and we even talked about how we were surprised that everyone had already found friend groups. We really clicked and she was cool. We exchanged phone numbers but never talked again. Later I saw a friend from my high school and she said she'd text me to hang out with some other people from our school. Never did. Even though I texted her to . I spent that weekend crying alone in my dorm.

So after two weeks of classes, I still haven't made a single friend. I'm just paranoid that the people on my floor will know that I'm a loser that stays in their dorm all weekend.

And going to a small school is the worst. I graduated high school with 200 people in my class. You really can't hide anything. Once everyone establishes their little friend groups, you're done. It's hard to get in. 

I'm going to a big college and it's so amazing. No one knows me. I'm sure I'll make some friends eventually. I hope your last year gets better for you^_^


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## Kilgore Trout (Aug 10, 2014)

Maybe everybody else is an ******* in your college 
Seriously, are there any other foreign students in your college or it's just you?
People in some countries don't like to socialize with foreigners.


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## Nilufar (Jan 17, 2014)

pouria19 said:


> Maybe everybody else is an ******* in your college
> Seriously, are there any other foreign students in your college or it's just you?
> People in some countries don't like to socialize with foreigners.


No, actually I would say about 70% of the people there are foreigners. It's a very international college. I think my nationality is not really the problem. Or at least it shouldn't be seeing I'm not the only one.


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## hachiman115 (Jan 2, 2014)

I've been at community college for two years now and haven't made a friend. Everyone at community college is in their own world. 

The problems I see are there's an age gap, although age doesn't mean a thing, somes of my classmates are old enough to be my parents. And you talk to them and they start telling you about their kids, spouse, how do you relate to that?

Then everyone in the class has a prior group they already know or they just "click" with. An example of the "click" thing would be the prior military guys once one of them bring up some military related deal into the lecture, all the others join in. And then you have all the former high school groups.

And then another thing is a problem now is too many people are on electronic devices. Everyone's looking down at their phone, tablet, laptop, or handheld and its like how do you approach that? I don't want to interrupt what your doing. People just aren't really approachable.

And then as of for acquaintances, I see plenty of people I know from high school and when we're in the same classroom we don't acknowledge each other, like high school never happened and we're strangers. And then I've ran into people from past semesters and it's like they don't even remember you.

The thing is with a community college most people are there for business and not to make friends. Everyone's like listen to this lecture, and I'm out. It wouldn't hurt to make a friend isn't networking like a part of college or something.


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## ShadowUser18 (Jul 25, 2013)

I feel so alone at my University, especially since it's located in a big city. It's been 3 weeks and I've barely spoken to anyone on campus It gets lonely at times whenever I have long breaks in between my classes =(


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## theCARS1979 (Apr 26, 2010)

Nilufar said:


> I've attended this college for one year now and I see while everybody found their own group or close friends, I don't have any friends here, barely some acquaintances to whom I speak between classes. There's no one to call me out in the evening, although everybody else has a rich social life...
> 
> I don't understand what I've done wrong.. I've always been friendly to people. I smiled a lot at them. I wanted to help them whenever they needed something. I tried to start the conversation. I am not ugly either..
> 
> ...


keep trying at it , you seem nice and all. Sometimes people will talk to you. try not to think about it. Go to starbucks or something afterwards and all


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## Nilufar (Jan 17, 2014)

Purple Clouds said:


> I feel so alone at my University, especially since it's located in a big city. It's been 3 weeks and I've barely spoken to anyone on campus It gets lonely at times whenever I have long breaks in between my classes =(


I would actually like to study in a big city. Our town has about 28000 inhabitants, it's impossible to be invisible when you want to. And in a big city you can also join hobby clubs you are interested in.. you are not so easily bored. You can also meat people that are not from your university.

I hope things get better for you.. But I understand what you mean. Last year I had 3 days weekends and this year it's almost the same thing (I only have one hour class on Friday). And I was so empty. If you can't be social all the time, try to study a lot, to excel at some subject. It's better than nothing. But good luck ! ^^


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## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

keithjm said:


> College was friendless for me. I remember I got a call from a friend of my mother who had a daughter who would be going to the same university I was already in. This mother was afraid that her daughter would be in a big university with no one to socialize with. So they I asked if this daughter could call me. I said SURE. Two weeks go by, four weeks go by--no call. I call home and asked what happened. By their account, this new college student did not call me because within a week of her arrival she had so many friends that call me was not necessary. She had more friends in week that I could ever get in 4 years college. So I was in my dorm room alone while this two week student was already doing the social scene. I also remember how this one student athlete (from Peru) who could barely speak English, had more friends in a week that I could get in a lifetime. It was comical to see him trying to communicate in his VERY limited English and have some many friends. The girls were all over him.


wow, that's messed up... she could have at least called to tell you your..er services? were no longer needed..

But ya, I'm in this club too.


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## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

hachiman115 said:


> I've been at community college for two years now and haven't made a friend. Everyone at community college is in their own world.
> 
> *The problems I see are there's an age gap, although age doesn't mean a thing, somes of my classmates are old enough to be my parents. And you talk to them and they start telling you about their kids, spouse, how do you relate to that?*
> 
> ...


I agree with this, when you go to college everyone already has their own group or clique of friends.


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## BackToThePast (Aug 31, 2012)

There's over 50,000 people and I don't have a single friend. The only friend I've made here so far was my roommate from last year, but he had to go back to his main campus which means now I'm back to square one.

What people have been saying about people being friends with their own cliques and whatnot, it's true. There doesn't seem to be much of an incentive to be friends with someone who has no friends or connections. It seems the best chance I have at making friends is befriending loners who are in the same boat as I am.


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## persona non grata (Jul 13, 2011)

I'm sorry OP, that really sucks. It's not easy making friends in school after cliques have formed. It doesn't sound like you're doing anything wrong, really. I don't have any advice on meeting people because your school sounds like a very different place than mine was, but hang in there.


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## louiselouisa (Jul 12, 2012)

no one really cares though, yeah, we feel like a loser when we have no one to hang out with but recently I've made some friends, they did talk about 'loners' in college but that's just because some people basically talk about everything. They told me they found me unapproachable. I thought I've smiled a lot, apparently my face told them to go away. 

about this clique thing, well I think it's true but everyone is different, in the group there's probably one person who's sensitive enough to know you want to be a part of them. If you know one person that likes to invite you to parties/talk to you the most, don't waste the opportunity.


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## keithjm (Apr 25, 2014)

It is so true-no one wants to be a friend with a loser. And if they do, it is usually a temporary situation--has happened to me many times. People dump loser/loner friends in a heartbeat. Being associated with a loser hinders one's chances with hooking up with the groups they really want to be a part of.


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## HookedOnEbonics (Sep 3, 2014)

Live Through This said:


> lol, "do cannabis"


This :rofl


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