# Are shy socially awkward girls into shy socially awkward guys?



## freakingout (Feb 6, 2010)

Are shy socially awkward girls into shy socially awkward guys?


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## Panther (Apr 2, 2014)

*Interesting question*

I never had a "proper" girlfriend until I was 24, ended up marrying her, unfortunately. We had two lovely daughters during that time. We got divorced in 2003. I have never seen my girls since, and not through want of trying. We (my ex wife and I) were both very shy but gained confidence as our relationship grew. After we split I spent a good 10 years alone thinking I would never find anyone again, but I did. There is hope for us all.


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

In my experience social skills take a back seat to physical attractiveness


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## ThisGirl15 (Mar 1, 2014)

I prefer socially awkward guys.


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## achelle92 (Feb 27, 2012)

I actually prefer guys that are shy and awkward (come on, it's cute!)

However it's definitely hard when both of you are shy and no one can make the first move.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

They are into outgoing attractive guys that say they are socially awkward.

*ducks*


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## Putin (May 21, 2013)

It's a cruel joke that even shy/quiet girls often overlook shy/guys.


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## CoffeeGuy (Sep 23, 2013)

Maybe. 

The problem is that two shy people aren't likely to make a move very fast if ever, and eventually outgoing, attractive guys will become interested in these shy girls and sweep them off their feet so to speak. I'd say its much more common for a shy girl to date an outgoing, confident guy (because hes the one to took the initiative to get her) than it is to see two shy people dating.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Only if they are involved in similar activities and can bond that way. Otherwise, a shy person isn't going to approach another shy person. It just doesn't happen (in general), for obvious reasons. But if you're in a club, group, class, etc. with another shy person, it could happen.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

As long as they are talkative and friendly with me. I really do not have the social skills to open up someone else's shell.


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## retracekim (Jan 13, 2013)

Zeeshan said:


> In my experience social skills take a back seat to physical attractiveness


Your experience isn't reality then.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

achelle92 said:


> I actually prefer guys that are shy and awkward (come on, it's cute!)
> 
> However it's definitely hard when both of you are shy and no one can make the first move.


That's understandable. My personal belief is even if a girl likes shy and awkward eventually the man would have to make a move because even non shy girls won't make a move much less one who is also shy and awkward.


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## rebecca68 (Apr 27, 2012)

Hello there 

There is a special person out there for u , i know im into the shy guys , i can relate to them! i am so shy myself! i know they understand where im coming from and they are caring and know when i need to be comforted most.They definitely have good qualities and also awkward looks cute haha idk how but it does , i have a bf and he is alike to me and its great and i know theres someone special out there searching for u , good luck  If you would like to chat? have a friend? advice? etc just ask , i love making new friends and helping people


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## LoungeFly (Jun 25, 2011)

I'm really intimidated by guys who are super outgoing and have lots of friends, and are the "life of the party" I want a guy I can simply order a pizza with, cuddle up with and binge watch cheesy tv shows with.


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## loneliness (Oct 3, 2013)

Zeeshan said:


> In my experience social skills take a back seat to physical attractiveness


I wish.


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## seeking777 (Oct 24, 2012)

CoffeeGuy said:


> Maybe.
> 
> The problem is that two shy people aren't likely to make a move very fast if ever, and eventually outgoing, attractive guys will become interested in these shy girls and sweep them off their feet so to speak. I'd say its much more common for a shy girl to date an outgoing, confident guy (because hes the one to took the initiative to get her) than it is to see two shy people dating.


This is so true. I would date a shy guy, but he's got to do something to show he's interested. If he doesn't, how is anything going to happen? 
I will attempt to show my interest, but then a guy's got to reciprocate in some way.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

There's a shy awkward guy in one of my classes that I want to talk to. He seems smart and I like his hair so sometimes it can be the motivating factor in meeting someone, but it's not a binding attribute. Maybe he's a douche, maybe he genuinely enjoys the music of Coldplay, maybe he likes Hot Pockets. I can't know what's wrong with him and just assume it's cool cause he's awkward. How many shy people are there? or awkward people? a lot. I can't get along with all of them, and I usually don't (at least perfectly).


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## hybridmoments (Feb 24, 2014)

as long as he owns it. Just like when a guy thinks he has any flaw (either looks, interests, dorky laugh, etc..) and he owns it it's actually nice. I guess it's like a bit of self-confidence he has.


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

Barette said:


> There's a shy awkward guy in one of my classes that I want to talk to. He seems smart and I like his hair so sometimes it can be the motivating factor in meeting someone, but it's not a binding attribute. Maybe he's a douche, maybe he genuinely enjoys the music of Coldplay, maybe he likes Hot Pockets. I can't know what's wrong with him and just assume it's cool cause he's awkward. How many shy people are there? or awkward people? a lot. I can't get along with all of them, and I usually don't (at least perfectly).


so you don't like socially awkward people?


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

Rich91 said:


> so you don't like socially awkward people?


There's a lot of people. To say that all shy or socially awkward people are compatible is silly. I don't get along with most people, it's not shocking to assume that it'd be the same for shy/awkward people since those people are... people. And I don't get along with most people.

And notice the first sentence, where I said there's a shy awkward guy I want to talk to? That implies I am interested in hearing his brain words because he is shy and awkward. So, no, Rich, no I'm not saying that at all.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

LoungeFly said:


> I'm really intimidated by guys who are super outgoing and have lots of friends, and are the "life of the party"


Same.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

It's not either or. Either a socially awkward super shy guy OR an outgoing "life of the party" type person. There are a lot of people that are somewhere in between those two extremes. And people are very complex.


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## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

Are obese girls into obese guys?


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

komorikun said:


> It's not either or. Either a socially awkward super shy guy OR an outgoing "life of the party" type person. There are a lot of people that are somewhere in between those two extremes. And people are very complex.


Exactly.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Mr Bacon said:


> Are obese girls into obese guys?


Do midgets like rodeos?


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

No. No one likes us.


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## UncertainMuffin (Sep 24, 2008)

This one is.


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## achelle92 (Feb 27, 2012)

Jesuszilla said:


> That's understandable. My personal belief is even if a girl likes shy and awkward eventually the man would have to make a move because even non shy girls won't make a move much less one who is also shy and awkward.


Yeah that's true. I've never really approached any of the guys I've had crushes on.

It's funny because a few days after posting on this thread an overly loud and very outgoing guy tried to hit on me during a school trip. My friend and all of the other girls were all gushing over him but I don't see what the big deal is. He was very conceited and shallow and I had no interest in him. I like quiet and intellectual guys but I have no clue how to approach them (or get them to approach me lol).


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## nightwalker (Nov 20, 2008)

i wouldn't want them to be socially awkward or shy because it will just remind me of how i want to stop being loll


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

Barette said:


> There's a lot of people. To say that all shy or socially awkward people are compatible is silly. I don't get along with most people, it's not shocking to assume that it'd be the same for shy/awkward people since those people are... people. And I don't get along with most people.
> 
> And notice the first sentence, where I said there's a shy awkward guy I want to talk to? That implies I am interested in hearing his brain words because he is shy and awkward. So, no, Rich, no I'm not saying that at all.


im not trying to pick an argument here but when ever i say shy and awkward people are not compatible you disagree and say im wrong.


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

Barette said:


> There's a shy awkward guy in one of my classes that I want to talk to. He seems smart and I like his hair so sometimes it can be the motivating factor in meeting someone, but it's not a binding attribute. Maybe he's a douche, maybe he genuinely enjoys the music of Coldplay, maybe he likes Hot Pockets. I can't know what's wrong with him and just assume it's cool cause he's awkward. How many shy people are there? or awkward people? a lot. I can't get along with all of them, and I usually don't (at least perfectly).


This pretty much sums it up. Some people might find shyness attractive and some might find it unattractive. But it's not really enough on it's own either way in determining how attracted you are to someone. I've made the mistake of quickly falling for a shy girl, just because she was shy and assuming we must automatically be a good match just because of that one personality trait. Yet when I got to know her, we were exact opposites, she was not interested in a serious relationship, she was quite unintelligent and she made some homophobic remarks of a really friendly gay guy in our school, despite claiming to be bisexual herself. There's no point in judging someone based on their shyness/awkwardness on it's own in either direction.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Coldplay are awesome.

But maybe that's my problem? I certainly am not shy when I'm around someone I trust. I personally find shy girls attractive, because they are so cute, and maybe some girls feel the same way?


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## cynocephalus (Mar 27, 2014)

I believe that shyness is seen by both sexes as a feminine trait (whether they actually realize this or not) and so I think it will make any guy less attractive to most girls whether they are shy or not. However shy girls are more likely to understand a shy guy, but understanding is not the same as attraction. I prefer to be the same height as a girl that I am dating, but most girls are not open to that possibility. To most of them being the same height as they are rules me out as a romantic possibility despite the fact that it is something that makes us more similar.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

Rich91 said:


> im not trying to pick an argument here but when ever i say shy and awkward people are not compatible you disagree and say im wrong.


And I didn't say shy and awkward people are not compatible. The meaning of what I say keeps escaping you, though it's fairly simple.


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## Unkn0wn Pleasures (Nov 24, 2011)

I think an answer either way would be a generalization. Some, surely are though. eg me.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

Idk. I used to think this and maybe, if it ever came down to it, I'd be more compatible with another introverted person (not necessarily shy) because my parents are both introverts, but deep down I don't really believe that I'm compatible with most humans, regardless of how social/non-social they are.


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

Barette said:


> And I didn't say shy and awkward people are not compatible. The meaning of what I say keeps escaping you, though it's fairly simple.


why do you have to be so hostile all the time?


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## Valtron (Jul 6, 2013)

I think, for a successful relationship, it's very important to have similar values and personalities. Even though it's good to find someone who can challenge you and help you grow as a person, if they strongly differ from you, it's going to be problematic at some point. For example, I know I would not be compatible with an extroverted, socially outgoing man. Even if we're compatible in other ways, I know that eventually his partying and socializing would take its toll on me, and vice verse. It's the same thing with differing political views, religions, ethics, etc. Eventually, it's going to lead to conflict.

So in my opinion, opposites DO NOT attract.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I tend to like fairly introverted guys that aren't too awkward/anxious around me (well it's fine initially, but later on.) 

ambiverted is also good, since I guess that's what I'd describe myself as. But that's not relevant (neither is the introverted part but whatever )


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Rich91 said:


> why do you have to be so hostile all the time?


Good question :yes


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

ofc not they all like hot jerks what are you smoking


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## coniconon (May 16, 2012)

My ex-boyfriend was shy and introverted so i don't mind socially awkward guys. It's nice to have someone like you by your side ^^


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## fowlpf5251 (Mar 15, 2015)

*Not necessarily*

I'm introverted but it seems I always gravitate towards extroverts.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

freakingout said:


> Are shy socially awkward girls into shy socially awkward guys?


 As a general rule? No. Unless they're attractive AND shy. Then SOME shy girls might be into them.

Generally, shy females are still into alpha males. Which is likely a big contributor to a lot of their anxiety.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

WillYouStopDave said:


> Generally, shy females are still into alpha males. Which is likely a big contributor to a lot of their anxiety.


It's possible that many shy women are into shy guys but they never find out because the shy guy never shows his interest, being too afraid of rejection and being seen as creepy. On the other hand, the alpha male never hides his intentions and goes straight for what he wants. The result? Shy women almost always go out with alpha males but almost never with shy guys.

Then some shy guys turn into angry resentful "Nice Guys".


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

vicente said:


> It's possible that many shy women are into shy guys but they never find out because the shy guy never shows his interest, being too afraid of rejection and being seen as creepy. On the other hand, the alpha male never hides his intentions and goes straight for what he wants. The result? Shy women almost always go out with alpha males but almost never with shy guys.
> 
> Then some shy guys turn into angry resentful "Nice Guys".


As much as I hate the terms "alpha" and "beta" males, you still have a point. Shy girls are less likely than extroverted girls to make the first move. Extroverted guys are more likely to make the first move than a socially awkward guy. It doesn't matter how much a shy girl swoons over a shy guy if noone makes the first move. Many girls on SAS say that they're more drawn to socially awkward guys, and I don't doubt the sincerity in that one bit. They just deal with the same insecurities about making first contact, especially since guys are "supposed" to make the first move, generally speaking.


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## Mrs Salvatore (Mar 27, 2014)

If he asked me out, then he's a lot less shy than I am.


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## Kcnca (Jan 26, 2013)

You need to define socially awkward. If you mean that their crazy and have the capacity to stab you in your sleep than there into me (whatever I am).


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## VanGogh (Jan 13, 2013)

freakingout said:


> Are shy socially awkward girls into shy socially awkward guys?


Women only respond to men that makes the first move. If a guy doesn't make the first move, if he is attractive enough to her she will sometimes find a way to make it easy for him to make the move. Sometimes shy guys who are attractive will be able to take the opportunity she creates to make approaching her easy.


Shy girl + attractive shy guy + makes it easy + he takes shot = they get together
Shy girl + attractive shy guy + makes it easy + he does't takes shot = nothing happens
Shy girl + unattractive shy guy = nothing happens
Shy girl + attractive confident guy + he takes shot = they get together
Shy girl + unattractive confident guy + he takes shot = sometimes something happens

If you're an attractive guy but you're shy, women will at least sometimes make it easy for you to make a move. If you take that opportunity you will find success. If you're an unattractive guy, if you're also shy then you're screwed. If you're unattractive but confident then at least sometimes when you take a shot something will happen.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

No.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

I have no preference, but my initial thought is that yes: straight, shy girls would prefer shy guys. But I think it's just the idea that's ideal. In practice, making it work would be hard. Two shy people would over-think the approach and it would take a lot of persistence and effort to make any strides relationship-wise (mainly because of the insecurities that tend to accompany shy people). 

My boyfriend is not shy in the least, which made conversations and first moves easier because he did most of the work. My job has been to decline or accept. I don't know how it would have worked out with a shy man.


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## OutsideR1 (Mar 13, 2014)

VanGogh said:


> Women only respond to men that makes the first move. If a guy doesn't make the first move, if he is attractive enough to her she will sometimes find a way to make it easy for him to make the move. Sometimes shy guys who are attractive will be able to take the opportunity she creates to make approaching her easy.
> 
> 
> Shy girl + attractive shy guy + makes it easy + he takes shot = they get together
> ...


What if you are shy and unattractive but you make the first move? Or is that similar to the last category?


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## OutsideR1 (Mar 13, 2014)

thetah said:


> Shy and unattractive guys never make the first move.
> 
> _Source: Me_


How do you know you are unattractive though? I have made the first move a few times and I am not sure if I am attractive, I go back and forth.


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## Kind Of (Jun 11, 2014)

vicente said:


> It's possible that many shy women are into shy guys but they never find out because the shy guy never shows his interest, being too afraid of rejection and being seen as creepy. On the other hand, the alpha male never hides his intentions and goes straight for what he wants. The result? Shy women almost always go out with alpha males but almost never with shy guys.
> 
> Then some shy guys turn into angry resentful "Nice Guys".


Alternatively: They have mental and emotional blocks that prevent people from getting close to them or reading them no matter who makes the first move.


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## Robleye (Sep 26, 2012)

Different people are into different things.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

How would 2 shy people even meet?? If you're shy like me, that means you can't do any initiating.


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## DistraughtOwl (Mar 1, 2014)

Even socially awkward girls have more value than socially awkward guys. A socially awkward girl can still have men that would be interested in her.

And as others have mentioned. Even if there's something there neither will make a move. Especially since the guy is supposed to be the aggressor. The result being that an extroverted guy will sweep the girl off her feet.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Kind Of said:


> Alternatively: They have mental and emotional blocks that prevent people from getting close to them or reading them no matter who makes the first move.


This is very true. Some people come right up to my face to talk to me and that makes me scared and I back off so that I have a comfortable personal space around me. I'm realizing that this may come off as me trying to stay away from them and so I'm trying to keep myself from backing up even when people (women or men) lean in and talk to me.


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

Yes. and I believe, if two shy people get together, they can help each other cope with shyness.


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## SunshineSam218 (Dec 6, 2013)

I'm into shy guys.  It wouldn't bother me if they were socially awkward, I can work around it.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

The level of shyness one finds attractive is relative to how well it is hidden or how high functioning the person is, despite their social awkwardness vs. personality/physical attractiveness.


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

Shy girls give a sense of mystery. Like I wonder what they are thinking about. I can't say if I have a preference one way or the other. Although I like privacy and a shy girl would be less likely to blab.


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## MildSA (Sep 29, 2014)

probably offline said:


> hate the terms "alpha" and "beta" males you still have a point. Shy girls are less likely than extroverted girls to make the first move. Extroverted guys are more likely to make the first move than a socially awkward guy. It doesn't matter how much a shy girl swoons over a shy guy if noone makes the first move. Many girls on SAS say that they're more drawn to socially awkward guys, and I don't doubt the sincerity in that one bit. They just deal with the same insecurities about making first contact, especially since guys are "supposed" to make the first move, generally speaking.





vicente said:


> It's possible that many shy women are into shy guys but they never find out because the shy guy never shows his interest, being too afraid of rejection and being seen as creepy. On the other hand, the alpha male never hides his intentions and goes straight for what he wants. The result? Shy women almost always go out with alpha males but almost never with shy guys.
> 
> Then some shy guys turn into angry resentful "Nice Guys".


Being "shy" & being "beta" aren't mutually inclusive. I consider myself "shy" but I have never been a submissive guy, actually I've been told I have an intimating persona. Folks might consider my shyness as a "beta" characteristic but there are plenty of males who are shy but not necessarily "beta". But just like PO stated I also hate the terms "alpha" and "beta" males. Someone being introvert or extroverted has little to do w/ someone being "alpha" or "beta"....from experience I can tell you most wimpy GUYS are extroverted b/c they used to play double dutch w/ the girls at recess thus excel at small talk & gossip.


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## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

Yes. Mysterious and quiet ones too :blush, without many friends.


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## VanGogh (Jan 13, 2013)

OutsideR1 said:


> What if you are shy and unattractive but you make the first move? Or is that similar to the last category?


If you are shy and unattractive, you won't make the first move. That's why it's not on the list. I only listed actual possibilities.


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

Of course not

People here just pretend they are


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## BackToThePast (Aug 31, 2012)

Girls are into guys they like. Not every girl likes a certain guy. Simple as that.


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## Notgoingout (Mar 19, 2015)

eveningbat said:


> Yes. and I believe, if two shy people get together, they can help each other cope with shyness.


I believe this. Almost instinctively there will be a depth of understanding. It's a romantic notion to help somebody. I've made important strides in my own recovery, move forward continually, progress week by week. Perhaps I am one of that breed of men who want, or need, to 'save' somebody. I also think if someone has been lonely like I have, they'll be more intense in their passions, their feelings. Waiting builds the intensity.


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## Alexander0 (Aug 29, 2014)

Some are but it can be very hard to spot i`ve noticed ;P


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

JwriteD said:


> I believe this. Almost instinctively there will be a depth of understanding. It's a romantic notion to help somebody. I've made important strides in my own recovery, move forward continually, progress week by week. Perhaps I am one of that breed of men who want, or need, to 'save' somebody. I also think if someone has been lonely like I have, they'll be more intense in their passions, their feelings. Waiting builds the intensity.


I like it.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Thing is, you can be the hottest dude on earth and still are expected to make all the moves, as well as buy everything and hold the doors and basically make all the moves. If a woman is hot enough, *she can be locked away in a tower* and men will find a way to meet her.


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## mimu (Feb 16, 2015)

If they are, where do I find them?


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