# An old member with a new story



## ssmcivicsi (Jun 16, 2005)

Hey everyone! 

Just thought I'd stop in and share with some of my progress. A year ago around this time I was headed for some crazy health problems, which ultimately lead to a mild/benign arrythmia. I would walk around feeling like everyone was judging me and I'd go about my life in the same routine day in and day out. On the weekends I'd stay at home on the computer either downloading music, watching TV or playing games. 

When I was diagnosed, my doctor ran some tests and after talking to him about my social phobia and meeting with a cardiologist, he recommended that I try seeing if zoloft (50mg) might level things out a bit. Wow, did it ever change my life! Shortly after getting on it, I had a girlfriend...we broke up a little over a month ago, but thats neither here nor there (in hindsight it wasn't that great to begin with). :lol 

I've made at least 5 new good friends and have been going out nearly every weekend! I no longer have that little voice in my head telling me to shut up because they'll all think your stupid. I feel more like myself and less like someone trapped in a body wishing I could be myself. I'm able to hold the conversations I always wanted to have, but was to afraid to start or continue. 

When I think back on things, it has really been the little things that made the biggest difference (cliche I know). But for instance I've been able to go to our campus rec center to workout...and even use the showers there! I find myself smiling at nearly everyone I meet or see these days without feeling all weirded out. I think the biggest thing though is that I no longer dwell on things that I've done or said which prevents me from being myself...instead I just let those sorts of things roll of my back and realize that it's all about the present and the future, sure I learn from the past but I've found that it's pointless to try living in it. 

I wish everyone here suffering from SA the same success that I've experienced!


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## 13times (Dec 24, 2004)

Congratulations! :clap


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## meggiehamilton (Nov 12, 2003)

Great news! Its nice to hear something positive for a change. Wishing you continued success. :banana


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## guitarik (Apr 18, 2006)

I guess Zoloft is great if you don't mind not having a sex life. The 3 people I know who took it stopped using it for that very reason.


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## Veggie1 (Jan 12, 2006)

Zoloft helped me a little bit, if I remember correctly, but made my already chronic insomnia even worse, so had to stop using it.

I'm very glad things have improved so much for you and may you continue with your success!

Congratulations! :yay :clap


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## Jess (Oct 23, 2004)

**

Thankyou for sharing and for bringing some of us hope and something to strive for!


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## Mork (Apr 11, 2005)

Thats great news.


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## R4ph4el (Sep 20, 2005)

medication never worked for me (I think Ive been on all possible meds, really!) ...I'm happy for you but it also make me feel more hopeless...


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## Mork (Apr 11, 2005)

Hey folks, this is the triumphs over social anxiety forum, not the frustration forum. Lets try to keep the posts positive here.


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## winduptoy (Jun 21, 2005)

Wow, what a great story. Thanks for sharing it and congratulations!


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## ssmcivicsi (Jun 16, 2005)

I know it really sucks that these drugs have different affects on different people; but I suppose if they can help some people who are still on the fence it would be worth getting my story out. I really wish there was some wonder drug out there that worked for all people... 

But I should also say that I don't believe it was ALL zoloft that helped me out. I really did try pushing myself into more social situations and trying to interact more...the zoloft just made that a little easier by calming me down in social situations. Ever since I started my treatment I would accept invitations to places I wouldn't normally go (clubs, lounges, weddings, etc.) , or venture outside my sphere just to see whats out there...whether that meant reading a book alone at starbucks or going to the mall alone to pick out some new clothes. Just really testing the boundaries ya know? I'd say everything was really 20% zoloft and 80% pushing myself. Sometimes I would have the inner SA trying to kick in but I would just tune that out and see where the day took me...never thinking to much about what may happen. I figured even if I look stupid it wouldn't matter because I'm who I am and if other people don't like that they can get lost! :b 

As for the lack of libido...well I've actually been very sexual, if not more so since zoloft. I've even learned a lot about what I'm looking for sexually and have found that having a hypersexual partner makes my libido decline, whereas a girl who challenges me with it increases my libido. Again results will obviously vary...just an observation I've made over the past year


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## ssmcivicsi (Jun 16, 2005)

**update*...*

Alright...so it's been a couple months since my last update so I thought I'd come in and post about what's been going on.

About a month ago I decided to get off Zoloft and see what happens. I experienced very few side effects. About the only noticible side effect was minor occassional dizziness. This effect subsided after about a week and I was back on the level. This was after approximately 9 months of a 50mg dose.

Now being off the medicine for a month I've realized a few things...I'm cured of my SA but not of the physical symptoms. Although I can still go out and do things without much trouble, I still have the thing in my brain that tells me I should feel weird about being in social situations. I can be talking to someone and it feels like my brain is telling me to pull away.

I've also noticed that my emotions are more dominant these days. On Zoloft I went through a breakup after 6 months and it hardly fazed me....off Zoloft I went through a breakup after a month and I'm spent emotionally. Most of these emotions stem from the fact that I had a rocky past with my SA and my previous inability to handle various social situations. It's kind of scary in many ways because a part of me doesn't want to feel these emotions but at the same time I know its part of the normal human experience to feel them. So I'm kind of torn in that respect...

The larger and most significant thing I've been experiencing are my mitral valve prolapse sensations and high blood preesure. On Zoloft all this went away...my MVP wasn't kicking in and my blood preesure dropped down to normal. There is no doubt in my mind that this is linked to the way my brain has been wired for the last 23 years and no matter what it can't be controlled by myself. Whenever I feel my heart rate increase...I feel my heart pounding...I try to find a reason for it but nothing comes to mind. I no longer feel like I have SA; but at the same time my brain is making me experience all the side effects that I used to have with SA. I ended up doing a lot of reading through medical journals and sure enough there is some evidence to suggest that anxiety can in fact cause MVP....which is probably where the root of the problem lies. In some rare cases Zoloft is being used to help people living with extreme cases of MVP that are thought to be caused by anxiety.

So I think I've decided to get back on the Zoloft...see if these effects remedy themselves. See how I feel about things in the long term and go from there. I'll keep everyone updated.


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