# I can't remember what it's like to have SAD



## slimjim26 (Feb 23, 2011)

I remember the feeling, just remember it, but I don't feel it. I think back on the past 3 years of my life. Remembering when I moved into my first apartment and was struck with social anxiety disorder so bad I didn't leave my room for a week. Well, I went to the bathroom. I skipped classes, didn't call in to work, and quickly made acquaintances out of my best friends. For months the only relief I ever felt was Friday and Saturday night when I could get loaded. I was free then.. or so I thought. I hit bottom, the very bottom, I couldn't have felt like more of a loser. The time came when I mimicked one of my friends actions in the living room, awkwardly of course, and watched as everyone else silently mocked me. I left the room, cried on the phone to my parents for two hours and have never looked back. 

3 years ago, to this month, I felt like nothing. Today, I feel like who I should be. I went to counseling, I exercised, I slowed down on the drinking (in fact, the days my anxiety is at its worst now is days after I drank heavily, I can not emphasize the power alcohol holds on your anxiety), I did online work shops, and pushed myself one small step at a time. And it's all lead me here. 

I participate in Toastmasters. I will give my second speech in two weeks and have spoken in front of the group nearly a dozen times. I talk to strangers, and entered a career path that involves constant human interaction (human resources). I still struggle to ask people out on dates, but have made leaps towards the attempts and with each try find the anxiety lessening. I go to parties and sometimes find myself to be the most talkative person in the room, even without a drink. I have come to realize that my anxieties are no longer debilitating, but simply normal. Soon, they will be even less than that, this I know. 

But I'm not sure I would have made these strides had I not experienced SAD. I don't know if I would have pushed myself out of comfort zones and participated in experiences that seemed overwhelming. Had my anxieties never been, I may have never tried. This disorder, that seems to overrun your life, will eventually force you to make a decision. And when you do I guarantee you try harder than anyone around you. You've seen the bottom. Your never going back.


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## WhyMustWeDoThis (Sep 20, 2013)

What an inspiring and powerful story! Thank you so much for this.


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## jasiony (Aug 15, 2010)

Good for you, I hope to achieve that level of success! stilll working to get there but again great that you have done so much :clap


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## lethargic apathy (Sep 12, 2013)

Inspiring story


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## geographyguy (Sep 23, 2013)

Thanks, love hearing stories like this! I appreciate you sharing the info. Rock on.


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## wayfreshnclean (Sep 21, 2013)

*These are the kind of stories that should be at the top of this thread. *

Not to discredit anyone's triumphs, but I feel like there should be a separate forum section for triumphs over social anxiety that are much more significant and _life changing._ Sure, small steps are an important part of the process, but overcoming it like slimjim26 deserves some more attention and inspiration!


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## Liability (Jan 11, 2013)

I love this story. Thanks for the post OP


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## david87 (Sep 29, 2013)

Fantastic and inspiring story. Congratulations once again to the OP.


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## ev29 (Feb 12, 2013)

Congrats!!


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## TeenyBeany (Sep 3, 2008)

Which online workshops did you participate in, op?

Thanks!


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## Sandile84 (May 4, 2011)

Well done OP. I hope you continue doing what you are doing no matter what. You must never give up, always keep it up.

I've been a toastmaster for 2 years now and it's still scary to speak in front of people but the trick is to still talk to people even though it's scary.

So big ups to you and well done.


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

Good on ya, i wish things were like that for me.


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## suej (Oct 20, 2013)

Congrats! Thank you so much for your inspiring story.


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## Wrath of Aftermath (Oct 21, 2013)

thankfully i have no idea what seasonal affective disorder is like


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## ereshkigal (Sep 28, 2013)

Congrats! A very inspirational story that gives all of us hope


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## achelle92 (Feb 27, 2012)

Congratulations! Your story is very inspiring and I think it might actually motivate others to do the same.


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## lesedwards (Oct 7, 2013)

This is awesome! Really inspiring

inb4 "People would be surprised if I told them I used to be shy" cliche


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## phelonena (Oct 29, 2013)

Congratulations and thanks for posting.Very emotional for me.I can feel so much of me in your story


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## slimjim26 (Feb 23, 2011)

Thank you all. It's rewarding in itself knowing that I've made the progress I have, but to still receive support, and hear that I can inspire truly makes it all worthwhile.

I wish you all the best of luck on your journeys, they will not be in vain! That I'll guarantee.



TeenyBeany said:


> Which online workshops did you participate in, op?
> 
> Thanks!


http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm

These were very helpful. I started with the social anxiety one and moved on from there. Do the handouts, they seem trivial but eventually make quite a difference.


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## hasbeenpugged (Nov 10, 2013)

Thank you so much for sharing!
The link you provided should be a sticky in this forum.


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## dcaffeine (Oct 26, 2013)

I'm getting a lot closer to completely overcoming it. Still needs a little work though.


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## jook (Nov 25, 2009)

This is a great story! And it shows that SA can become less debilitating if you take a strategic, approach with whatever therapy or self-help works for you. You CAN get your life back.


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## bluepaint (Jan 28, 2012)

Inspiring story indeed! 

Perhaps you can tell us a little more about what helped you changed? What beliefs did you use to have that you don't have anymore? What's the (your) "sercret" to overcoming SA?  Was there anything in particular that was especially helpful? 

I want to feel good too! Thanks


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## Littlescorpio (Nov 28, 2013)

Your story is inspiring! I'm glad you overcame so much! Your decisions in improving has harvested a better lifestyle! GO YOU!


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## runnin (Nov 16, 2013)

Thank you so much for sharing this. I've got goals that involve speaking at toastmasters and it feels so nice to read what you've done.

What has the subject matter involved when you've spoken at toastmasters? Have you introduced yourself as someone with social anxiety and someone that is challenging it or did you leave that out?

I wish you all the best and thanks again for sharing this.


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## Ninetales (Jan 6, 2012)

slimjim26 said:


> Had my anxieties never been, I may have never tried. This disorder, that seems to overrun your life, will eventually force you to make a decision. And when you do I guarantee you try harder than anyone around you. You've seen the bottom. Your never going back.


*This.
*

And I agree on this 100%


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