# How important is physical attractiveness?



## polythene (Jul 22, 2007)

*.*

.


----------



## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

If you're attracting men on an even semi-regular basis, that means you're attractive. If men approach you or show interest having just met you, you're attractive. It's not rocket science.


----------



## dax (Nov 19, 2004)

Physical attractiveness is important to me- I just have to be physically attracted to someone in order to date them. But that doesn't mean they have to be stereotypically attractive or even moderately attractive at all. Just appealing to me. There are a lot of girls out there that other guys I know don't find attractive at all but I do. Also, I will become attracted to a girl not just because of how her face or body looks, but if she has sort of a "cute" demeanor about her- like she is shy, quiet, nice, easy going and sorta of has like a cute way about her- like the way she carries her self maybe? I dunno kind of hard to describe. And a lot of times I will meet a girl and not find her attractive at first but then after being around her for a while start feeling attractive to her.

So- I don't know how important it is- it matters- but I want to date a girl _I_ like, not just a thing hanging off my arm like some trophy to show off to the world. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder- and just because someone doesn't fit into a stereotype doesn't mean there isn't someone out there who will find them insanely attractive and adore them for that and for their personality and who they are as a person.

What I find attractive I guess is mainly cuteness and smallness (I'm a small guy so I like small girls). Kinda broad I know but I don't know if I can really narrow it. Alot of things that seem to really bother girls I've noticed don't bother me at all, like acne or a big nose etc. have never turnded me off anyone.

My own appearance is horrible IMO. I don't see myself ever being in another relationship even though I've been in a few serious ones in the past. I never got why any girl was ever attracted to me.


----------



## Game 7 (Dec 23, 2009)

polythene said:


> Thanks for the condescending reply. I'm well aware that I'm average-looking and I'm not looking to boost my self esteem by fishing for compliments. I was, however, curious about how much others value physical attractiveness, as it seems everyone I've met puts it on a glowing pedestal.


Physically, I just need the girl to have a nice smile.
Emotionally, our sense of humour has to match. Almost perfectly. I'm really big about a girls sense of humour that is like mine...I am definitely attracted to that, when it's paired with a really nice smile. But what I consider a nice smile might differ from someone else so...it's all relative.


----------



## Tusenskona (May 19, 2009)

I think physical attractiveness is a little important to me.. but it's really different with everyone. Some really don't care and just notice the personality.. and others appreciate the looks of someone as well. I'm not overly shallow or picky about looks but usually I can tell if I find a guy cute or not hehe.. It's something that can usually draw you in and make you notice them is their appearance.. I'm not really sure what I find attractive to be honest haha. I think I know but end up falling for someone completely opposite. I like it when they're clean and somewhat healthy though 

I don't feel too keen on my looks lol. I know I'm not like stunning or anything and not absolutely horrible to look at.. but really without any confidence I feel I can come off how I feel to potential partners.. so It's good to stay positive and just be like Well I may not like this or that but I like this.. If I feel cute it tends to show! [I really hope that makes sense. I tend to ramble]

You're who you are..and it may takes more work and patience to find that one for you but you will.. Sure those type of people that you explained might have an easier time but it sounds like it'd make quite a boring relationship


----------



## userabuser (Jan 21, 2010)

if she has a really masculine personality then yes she better be ****ing beautiful i mean the kind of beauty you only see in pantings and drawings and once in awhile the sas post a picture thread. other than that looks are just a small part of the equation for me.


----------



## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Well without trying to sound shallow, I must feel somewhat physically attracted to someone, I need to be able to look at them and like what I see on the outside as much as what I see on the inside. That being said I have noticed that even if I do not find someone instantly attractive physically at first, if I get to know them better and I become really fond of their personality and traits then I usually find I grow more attracted to them physically as well. It's kind of weird in that sense.


----------



## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

polythene said:


> Thanks for the condescending reply. I'm well aware that I'm average-looking and I'm not looking to boost my self esteem by fishing for compliments. I was, however, curious about how much others value physical attractiveness, as it seems everyone I've met puts it on a glowing pedestal.


I wasn't trying to be condescending, and I apologize if I sounded that way, it's just that I find it hard to understand how some people can think little of their looks if they get attention from potential partners. It seems very simple to me. That bit about "oddly appealing" in your post sounded like you didn't think much of your looks, that it was some fluke that men are attracted to you. Perhaps I was mistaken.

Frankly, I find it frustrating when attractive people say they don't look very good. How do we convince them that they do other than by pointing out a mirror?


----------



## Johnny_Genome (Nov 11, 2003)

More than just 'physical attraction', I tend to make a quick judgement whether I would have anything in common at all with a girl. I tend to be attractive to the artsy / creative type of women. A girl certainly does not have to be the most attractive in the room to get my attention.


----------



## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

There are no generalizations of attractiveness. It is all in the eye of the beholder. There are women I find attractive that others will not, and vice versa. 

I don't think any relationship can succeed without both partners being physically attracted to each other.


----------



## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

polythene said:


> So, how important is physical attractiveness to you when seeking out a partner?


Usually, if I'm not physically attracted to a girl, I don't take notice of her 'in that way', so I'd say it's fairly important when doing the "seeking out". But then, sometimes... as Ospi said (he put it so well, I'll just quote him word for word here): "I have noticed that even if I do not find someone instantly attractive physically at first, if I get to know them better and I become really fond of their personality and traits then I usually find I grow more attracted to them physically as well."



polythene said:


> And I guess tangentially - how do you feel about your own appearance, and how do you think that plays into your (potential) relationships?


This varies by the day.. some days I feel low, some days I feel all right.. I notice girls 'testing the water' with me sometimes, so I know my appearance is at least OK.

I think I'd do OK in the relationship department if it wasn't for my SA.



polythene said:


> Oh, and out of curiosity: what specifically do you find physically attractive?


Personally..
- a cute face (always been a face person, my eyes always go to her face first)
- long hair (I mean at least shoulderlength.. short hair doesn't really do it for me)
- under 5'8 (shorter than me~)
- and I love a petite girl... (though small, average, or a little overweight, not a big deal)


----------



## strawberryjulius (Jun 28, 2009)

I have no idea what I find attractive, I just know it when I see it. No matter how good looking a guy is, if he's rude, sexist etc. then he'll get no attention from me, he can just forget about it.

A lot of the time I feel pretty awful about my appearance and I don't really understand why my boyfriend's attracted to me. I understand why he likes my personality, but not so much my looks or my body. Sometimes, when my perception isn't being such a ***** I feel pretty good about the way I look, but those days are few and far between. Especially when my self-esteem has just been shattered..


----------



## lde22 (Oct 19, 2009)

I read somewhere that men's attraction is based 80% on looks and 20% on personality, whereas womens attraction is 20% on looks and 80% on personality. I think this is fairly accurate. The first thing I notice about a women is her looks, not because I'm shallow or anything it's just instinct.

But I think its good that you are normal looking. Really beautiful women get hit on all day long and eventually get tired of it so then they start to act *****y so that she doesn't have to waster her time talking to every guy that approaches her. Also really attractive women have a false sense of reality. Guys are always giving them things for free and doing things for them just because of the way they look. This makes them think they are better than everyone else, but it also probably ruins their self esteem in that people don't expect them to be smart and people don't want to know who they really are, they just want to admire her beauty.


----------



## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

Attractiveness gets you noticed. If you're ugly you won't be noticed. Which means even if you have great personality, intelligence, creativity, you'll never be able to display these traits. It's just like in a job interview, if you dress like a slob your interviewer won't take you seriously even if you are qualified.

For female attractiveness, add two points to whatever a woman thinks she is and you have a man's evaluation.

For male attractiveness, subtract two points to whatever a man thinks he is and you have a woman's evaluation.

I have low standards. I'd probably date a "3" or a "4". I think men have a better ability to compartmentalize beauty. If a woman has a shipwreck face but T or A, it's a winner.


----------



## Nintendo (Nov 17, 2009)

PGVan said:


> There are no generalizations of attractiveness. It is all in the eye of the beholder. There are women I find attractive that others will not, and vice versa.
> 
> I don't think any relationship can succeed without both partners being physically attracted to each other.


This.


----------



## Toad Licker (Nov 2, 2007)

It's hard to say it could be something as simple as a smile, glasses, freckles (I love freckles!), etc. . I'd say that I'm not always attracted to what you might consider conventional beauty.


----------



## El Sonador (Sep 25, 2009)

It depends, physical attractiveness is never good enough reason for me to want to date someone, it have to be more, cuz I only feel attracted to someone after I get to know her, I don't think I ever was like "that girl is attractive I wanna date her". how much we have in common matters to me the most, of course I have to be also attracted to her physically but somehow for me that usually comes after getting to know the person, it's the whole package really.


----------



## CandySays (Apr 6, 2008)

Pretty sure attractiveness yields all sorts of benefits. I see it all the time in college. Someone can have a sense of humor of a pile of buttons, have no common sense, be a sucky conversationalist, but if they are attractive, they will be invited to things, they will be liked, they will have no shortage of people wanting to befriend them, etc.

To me, physical attractiveness in pretty much a moot point because it's not like I have a slew of options before me. Ideally though, a healthy physique as others have stated would be what I value most. Usually the face is a case by case thing, as I don't like any particular features, really.

I have a weird deal with my appearance. I think I look okay, but guys never hit on me all that much and I seldom get compliments on my looks, so by the end of the day I feel as though I must not be that great. When people like me (physically), I always think there must be something wrong with them. Kinda like the OP's sitch, only unconventional people like me. I'd be damned if someone "popular" or something like that ever found me attractive -_- It never happens, or at least not to my knowledge.


----------



## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

CandySays said:


> Pretty sure attractiveness yields all sorts of benefits. I see it all the time in college. Someone can have a sense of humor of a pile of buttons, have no common sense, be a sucky conversationalist, but if they are attractive, they will be invited to things, they will be liked, they will have no shortage of people wanting to befriend them, etc.


True dat.

Looks are extremely important in determining which girls I'm attracted to initially, but I'm not all that picky, and as long as I find her "sufficiently" attractive it's all up to other factors.


----------



## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

Physical attractiveness is important, but it's also totally negated by a bad personality. A good personality can also make a person seem more physically attractive, quite often. 

I would probably be treated a lot better by random strangers if I were stunningly beautiful. Beautiful people get perks that average-looking or unnatractive people don't get. But gorgeous women also have to deal with stuff that I don't: lots of people assume my sister is stupid or promiscuous when she is in fact neither.


----------



## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

^ I agree with that. Physical attraction is just as important to me as any other trait I look for. Having said that, someone with a personality that appeals to me will become more attractive to me. Someone I find physically attractive, if I find them to be arrogant, forget it. It's a pretty package full of poison. 

It's important to me, but so are the traits of trustworthiness, forthrightness, ability to communicate and connect emotionally, understanding, and so on. take any one of these things, including physical attraction, out of the equation, and I know I wouldn't be happy with that person.


----------



## DitzyDreamer (Jun 10, 2008)

For me, personally, physical attractiveness, in the back of my mind, is important, but at the end of the day, I'm unattractive, so I can't be picky. Just as long as I can look at him without cringing, it'll be alright.

And if it makes you feel any better, this ugly fat girl is in a relationship/has a partner. So...


----------



## Deathinmusic (Jun 5, 2009)

Physical attractiveness is kind of important. To me that just means she has to look appealing TO ME. Whether anyone else finds her attractive is irrelevant. I have noticed my tastes don't always align with the rest of society, I like what I like. As long as I like what I see, fantastic. Personality is a thousand times more important, but looks is a part of the whole package.


----------



## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

I think attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder,but there are some people that most will find attractive.
For me that kind of people are (usually) boring because they're just too perfect. They have no "faults" or anything that make them unique to me.

The guys I tend to like has been various in weight and height,but all have had dark hair,dark eyes and they've been shy or quiet.
I also tend to like long hair and a beard, and I find that long hair can be very sexy(on the right kind of guy)..
But if a guy is attractive,but has no personality he becomes not interesting because personality is also very important to me.


----------



## ghosts_of_never (Aug 6, 2008)

My mate selection starts with screening if they're physically attractive enough, and if they meet the threshold I don't really care how pretty they are, because then I can just go by who has the best personality for me. The more I like someone personally, the more their physical attractiveness will increase (in my more bias-inflicted eyes  ) anyway. Probably a fairly strong majority of non-obese women my age are 'hot enough'. (guessing by how my eyes wander at almost all women my age when I'm in public  )
I don't know if that's common though.


----------



## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

at the beginning, physical attractiveness is important. because thats how people initiate relationships sometimes. because they think someone is hot then they ask them out. but then personality, and character


----------



## april showers (Jun 27, 2009)

Physical attractiveness is somewhat important to me but they have to have the personality to go with it too, but in a way sometimes people can be so attractive that they look bland to me. So some sort of physical "flaw" is needed. 

I think physical attractiveness doesn't play as huge of a role as some people think, even for girls. Sure it plays a part, but I've seen so many average-looking girls who had guys flocking to them because they were confident/flirty/outgoing enough, that it makes me think that it's more about making a guy comfortable to ask someone out then being pretty enough. I guess it's just that it's easier for a average-looking girl who's outgoing and charismatic to get a guy, than a pretty girl who's shy and socially awkward to get one.


----------



## eejm (Jan 22, 2010)

Physical attractiveness is definitely important to me, but it's also extremely subjective. I'm generally attracted to guys with kind eyes and wide, open smiles. I tend to prefer dark hair and olive skin, but I've been attracted to men with all kinds of hair and skin colors. While I'm not obese, I'm a tall, solid girl (good Scandinavian-American stock!) and am perfectly fine if a guy has a little meat on his bones - I'd rather feel like I'm not crushing him! 

There are plenty of aspects of physical attractiveness that we can't control (our height, our bone structure), but also plenty of things we can control. While I'm rather turned off by guys who are fussy about their appearances, I do like a guy with good hygiene. To me, that means clean clothes, regular bathing, trimmed hair, and maybe using some acne cream (hey, I need it too). Nothing huge, just regular, everyday maintenance. Facial hair is fine, so long as it is groomed. Glasses aren't a problem at all. It's rare for me to see a guy with long hair that I find attractive.

But after the initial appearance, personality and intelligence make or break a deal for me. A man seems 100% more attractive to me if he can carry on a good conversation, is intellectually curious, has travelled, can talk about his job. I'd have trouble even being friends with a person who does not have a good sense of humor. The drier the better, but there is plenty of fun in physical or juvenile humor. A physically attractive man with no brain is pretty much an empty shell for me - think David Beckham.


----------



## haikupoet (Feb 9, 2010)

I am told by women, they care more about personality than physical appearance. If you are presentable, wear presentable clothes, get a nice haircut, don't hide your eyes, don't over dress. If you're "kissable" that's enough.

I find a vivacious woman very attractive even if she is not as physically attractive.

I have a wide range of types when it comes to physical attraction. People concentrate too much on weight, as a man, I'm more attracted to shape and visual appearance, not size or weight.


----------



## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

To be honest, I kind of hate it when women tell me they go for personality rather than looks. To those that can't get someone we want like myself, it implies that my personality is bad, which is a much more personal insult than saying that I don't look good. It doesn't make me feel too hopeful either, since I find that changing my personality is a whole lot harder than changing my looks.


----------



## strawberryjulius (Jun 28, 2009)

STKinTHEmud said:


> To be honest, I kind of hate it when women tell me they go for personality rather than looks. To those that can't get someone we want like myself, it implies that my personality is bad, which is a much more personal insult than saying that I don't look good. It doesn't make me feel too hopeful either, since I find that changing my personality is a whole lot harder than changing my looks.


But that doesn't necessarily mean you have a bad personality. Sometimes it won't mesh well with other people, that's all. Like physical appearance, people like different things when it comes to personality.


----------



## Lithium4 (Nov 23, 2007)

The whole liking personality over looks is fine and all, but without at least some looks, you won't get your foot in the door. It takes a lot more work to try to get one's personality noticed than one's appearance.


----------



## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

dax said:


> Beauty is in the eye of the beholder- and just because someone doesn't fit into a stereotype doesn't mean there isn't someone out there who will find them insanely attractive and adore them for that and for their personality and who they are as a person.


True to a degree. Beauty is a matter of opinion, but there are certain generally accepted standards of beauty. My former sister-in-law at 400 pounds didn't meet any such standards, unless you're a hard core "chubby chaser".

As for personality, we all know "she has a wonderful personality" just like "she has a pretty face" are code for she's a beastly creature from hell.


----------



## strawberryjulius (Jun 28, 2009)

UltraShy said:


> True to a degree. Beauty is a matter of opinion, but there are certain generally accepted standards of beauty. My former sister-in-law at 400 pounds didn't meet any such standards, unless you're a hard core "chubby chaser".
> 
> *As for personality, we all know "she has a wonderful personality" just like "she has a pretty face" are code for she's a beastly creature from hell.*


I don't think that's true at all. :|


----------



## Game 7 (Dec 23, 2009)

If I don't know a girl at all, the physical attraction is all there can be.
After that...if she has no personality...I get very bored, very quick, because I'm intellectual.
I'm looking for a beautiful girl...who is also pretty. :yes

At least until I'm older. Then I'll take whatever I can get. Most likely a dog or cat.


----------



## Lithium4 (Nov 23, 2007)

strawberryjulius said:


> I don't think that's true at all. :|


Me neither.


----------



## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

Good looks do not attract me. I am attracted by other attributes. There has been no pattern lookswise in my partners. They have been obese, underweight, conventionally good-looking, and conventionally unattractive.


----------



## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

strawberryjulius said:


> But that doesn't necessarily mean you have a bad personality. Sometimes it won't mesh well with other people, that's all. Like physical appearance, people like different things when it comes to personality.


Perhaps it's not necessarily saying that I have a bad personality, but it is saying that I have a personality that nearly all girls don't like "that way," which is just as bad, considering how much I want to be liked by at least a few women. I hate the idea of having to change who I am fundamentally just so I won't have to be alone; after all, I thought I was a pretty good guy, and I liked who I was. But, looking at my track record, it seems that I won't be able to find that girl who thinks I'll mesh well with her.

But maybe I'm just saying that because I'm lonely. Sorry. I'll go back to trying to be a selfish jerk and spare you the negativity.


----------



## stinky (Oct 24, 2009)

strawberryjulius said:


> I don't think that's true at all. :|


well I think its true to a degree. at least for college-age guys, if one of my friends tells me that a girl is "nice", "good personality", "cool", they imply that she is not hot. she might just be average but she is most definitely not hot. on the other hand, if a girl is hot, that'll be the first thing they tell me. not about personality or anything else.

like other people have said though, its a real subjective thing. like i would rate angelina jolie a 6/10. I don't think she's hot at all. while others would die just to touch her.


----------



## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

STKinTHEmud said:


> Perhaps it's not necessarily saying that I have a bad personality, but it is saying that I have a personality that nearly all girls don't like "that way," which is just as bad, considering how much I want to be liked by at least a few women. I hate the idea of having to change who I am fundamentally just so I won't have to be alone; after all, I thought I was a pretty good guy, and I liked who I was. But, looking at my track record, it seems that I won't be able to find that girl who thinks I'll mesh well with her.


I feel ya man. I know what kind of guy women want, but that's not who I am.


----------



## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

stinky said:


> like other people have said though, its a real subjective thing. like i would rate angelina jolie a 6/10. I don't think she's hot at all. while others would die just to touch her.


I don't get America's obsession with Angelina Jolie either. Sure, she's certainly attractive, but the same can be said of so many other women, most of whom aren't famous. I fail to see how she can be deemed one of the ultimate beauties when there are so many others that equal or exceed her looks.

Does her fame make her more attractive, so she earns a higher rating for looks than some very hot yet unknown girl you pass on the street?:stu


----------



## CCS (Feb 12, 2010)

Physical appearance is the first thing people notice so it's obviously kinda important. But if you don't have that I suggest you adopt a very cute, sweet and funny personality. That always works.


----------



## cemeterygates (Feb 15, 2010)

Not very important. A guy might not be very good-looking but his personality makes him attractive to me.


----------



## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

polythene said:


> Well, they're just trying to be polite, right? I personally would feel embarrassed saying, "well, my number one criteria is how good-looking they are." Agreed on the personality vs. looks thing, though, people will be about 99% more inclined to mention your incredible hotness if you are incredibly hot, rather than your PhD or your thrilling ability to make conversation.
> 
> I guess that's just how it is.


Yeah, they're just trying to be nice; I understand that. I suppose there's no real advice a woman can give that will actually make him feel good about himself.

I'm working a PhD and I'm fairly social. Doh.


----------



## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

It's important. Like most others, I have a type that I'll immediately flock to - quiet nerd with his glasses and his books and his solid color sweaters etc. etc.. And the sort of guys that I date are rarely seen as attractive to many others, but they're attractive to me.


----------



## Squizzy (Dec 21, 2004)

I am attracted to certain phsyical traits, but most of them aren't what cultural norms would consider "physically attractive" in men. For example I feel nothing for those male models in magazines. Also, personality factors in a lot more then anything physical.

As for me, I am ugly. Never had anyone but a few creepers hit on me. But I have a boyfriend who loves me and the way I look, which is the biggest mystery in the world to me. Also, my roomate is morbidly obese and has gone on many dates/always has guys who want to sleep with her. My old best friend used to get picked on constantly in school and everyone made fun of her and me. She was called the "nose-picker" and once she was very ill and had diarrehea in the middle of class. She has been in a relationship for five years and now lives with her boyfriend (side rant: by the way I hope all those people who made fun of her are sitting at home alone and miserable, she is a wonderful person and deserves her good fortune). There is someone for everyone out there.


----------



## Halcyon Daze (Dec 22, 2008)

I'm starting to think personality gets you everywhere. Looks fade anyway. People that are really conventionally attractive are usually made very aware of this early in life just by the way they are treated. Yea, they don't have to try as hard, but they'll still have some trouble if their personality is lacking. But I agree w/ those that said it's all subjective. Different strokes for different folks. My own appearance is probably average at best. I'm a poor judge though, some days I feel hideous. 

I can't even pinpoint what it is I find physically attractive. I can tell when someone's good looking but that doesn't automatically mean anything more to me. Maybe I'm a bit slow or indecisive. I guess personality is more important to me than I thought. Now if only I had one of my own I'd be in business...


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Me being physically attracted at this stage of my life is important, but not everyone finds the same things attractive. I will say that a girl who is attractive but lacks personal depth or character that I desire would not be one I'd consider dating.

To be honest, I'd rather spend my time a woman who isn't that attractive compared to a woman who is emotionally narcotic any day. I definitely need someone who is a fair and decent human being. Personality is far more important than looks.


----------



## Black_Widow (May 23, 2008)

strawberryjulius said:


> I have no idea what I find attractive, I just know it when I see it. No matter how good looking a guy is, if he's rude, sexist etc. then he'll get no attention from me, he can just forget about it.


That pretty much describes my feelings too. Physical attraction is important to me, but so is personality. If a guy has a good sense of humour, makes the effort to be friendly/nice (though not meaning I expect a guy to be a walkover either) and is someone who in general I find spending time with enjoyable (because of mutual things we have in common) then those things are big plus's to me. On the other hand, no matter how gorgeous looking a guy might be, if he's rude or aggressive then for me that's a major turn off.

When it comes to my own appearance, I have to admit I'm extremely insecure. I think that with good grooming I can sometimes look attractive to members of the opposite sex. But have never seen myself as being naturally physically attractive.


----------



## bowlingpins (Oct 18, 2008)

It is important but much less so than it was 5 years ago. Dissecting cadavers and scrubbing in surgeries made me realize how superficial and meaningless the outer appearance really is. 
I wouldn't be surprised if this is a natural transition everyone goes through once they do these type of things.


----------



## march_hare (Jan 18, 2006)

polythene said:


> So, how important is physical attractiveness to you when seeking out a partner? And I guess tangentially - how do you feel about your own appearance, and how do you think that plays into your (potential) relationships?
> 
> Oh, and out of curiosity: what specifically do you find physically attractive?


 If I get a stupid crush on someone it's usually all about their physical attractiveness. _however_ the reason I actually NOTICE them in the first place is usually because they say/do something that will draw my attention to them, and suddenly it's like an glorious epiphany when I realise how attractive they are. Usually these kinds of crushes I have are on people who are deemed conventionally attractive. damn you shallow hormones. Though I have had crushes on obese people before, as well as people that are much older than me, so it could be anyone really.

More importantly thoughhh::: Other times I've got to know someone for a while, grown to love their personality, and then love of their apperance comes with that. We love to look at things that make us happy, it makes sense. But this is a completely different kind of relationship to the one a described above, and is much more to do with the question you asked about seeking out a partner. If I were actively embarking on a long-term relationship, I know the first crush scenario is not a good basis for that. The second one is much more fulfilling and won't fizzle out after a week.

Usually when I look at people objectively... lets say I was just watching people on the street walk by - _most_ people to me look "attractive". I mean, I can see how some people are deemed better-looking than others for having high cheek bones or big eyes or whatever, but to me, I wouldn't particularly rather be looking at those people than anyone else. Very very rarely do I see someone that I think is "ugly" (except when I look in the mirror every morning HAH )
very rarely do I see someone I would consider unapproachable or unsuitable as a potential mate just because their nose is too big or whatever.


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

She must have only two eyes.
Any more than that and it would send me running.


----------



## Black_Widow (May 23, 2008)

lol!


----------



## Twice on Time (Dec 31, 2009)

polythene said:


> looks trump anything else. i.e.) Instant devotion if a girl had an IQ of 45 and looks like Megan Fox.


i think this really goes back to the evolutionary construct of men and women. the men always traded their love/protection for sex, and the women their bodies (body's?) for the men's love. the men want to spread their seed to a well endowed partner and the women wanted protection for their children. i'm talking about when we were apes btw, if you believe in this sort of thing.

of course this isn't always the case now, obviously, but the fact still remains...i think

i always found it frustrating that the really, really superficial people usually don't ever think about these things. they're totally clueless and just want something pretty to look at in the morning...ugh


----------



## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

i have noticed many times when i like a guy, i didnt think he was super hot or anything when i first met him. but if he has the qualities i like and i start to subconsciously like him, the more i see him and am near him, the more handsome he becomes. this happens everytime. its weird


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

Physical attractiveness is important in the sense that you must feel some level of physical attraction toward the potential romantic interest to want to pursue things further, however, that does not go without saying that having matching interests and values isn't important either.


----------

