# What is your Passion?



## RubyTuesday (Aug 3, 2007)

is it 
-Music
-Art
-Psychology or Spirituality
-Computers
- Collecting antiques
- restoring cars
- social anxiety
- cooking exotic meals
- sport
- rock climbing

...what is is?

Cause I've recently been discovering that to some extent, my passions are: Art, Music, cooking, and, last but not least: social anxiety.

Why I'm saying this is because recently I've been spending more of my time immersed in creative things like sketching, looking at art work and also playing the piano. And what I've noticed recently is that my mood overall has been significantly better.

I've also noticed that throughout my life, every 4 or 5 years I have some kind of crisis. I become preoccupied about some concern in my life and then it quickly becomes an obsession. My preoccupations have been pretty normal ones -first it was my school grades, then it was romantic relationships, and now it's social anxiety.

All of these concerns are pretty average. Ones that everybody has questions and insecurities about. -The exception with me is that these become obsessions, and they become major insecurities that tend to significantly impact on my quality of life and state of mind.

I saw a documentary by an independent film maker who suffers from insomnia. He made a documentary about his insomnia. Part way through, he showed his vast collections of other's home movies, old paper clippings, watch parts, and other things that he loved to collect, all perfectly organized in order. Towards the end of his documentary there was a scene in which he and his wife were talking with his mother. At one point his mother exploded in rage, yelling: "You've spoiled everything! Your obsession with your insomnia is why I'm fed up!"

And it makes me wonder whether the insomnia -the 'problem'- is not so much the problem, but that obsessing with it or really just obsessive thinking it self is the _real_ _problem_. ...And looking at my life so far, I can make a confident guess that it is my real problem or, if not this, then it certainly is a major and important part of my problem.

So what is my solution or my advice so far? ...It's actualyl what someone tried to point out to me (somewhat unsuccessfully about a year ago) and that is to find something other than Social Anxiety to think about.

Because I think one of my biggest problems is obsessive thinking, I almost have to have something to obsess about. So, my advice, if you think you may be a bit like me, is to channel your energy into things you're passionate about. And also to simply inspire yourself however you can -even just simply taking a lot of enjoyment in a piece of music ...so long as you are passionate and inspired. And really, it is the *state of mind* of being passionate and inspired (in general) that is important: taking an attitude of wonder and being enthusiastic that matter and not so much _doing_ something creative or the _doing_ aspect it self.

I have been finding that approaching the world from this state of mind has been making me feel considerably better. My mind is a bit clearer, problems are a bit more in perspective and smaller, and my mood is more improved.

I am not giving up on Mindfulness therapy for actually tackling head-on my problems. But one thing that I am venturing to do, is to lessen the extent to which I indulge my worst mental habit with simply obsessing. ...the 'try not to think of a white elephant' problem.

So I'm not saying to pretend that you don't have a problem. And I'm not saying to give-up trying to do anything about it.

I am saying though, that maybe like me, part of your problems are about obsessive thinking; and that likewise this 'misdirected attention', that reminding yourself that you have social anxiety, and then trying not to have it is just creating and maintaining social anxiety in the first place. ...that this is just maintaining the inner tension that fuels the social anxiety. ...and I think that if you tend towards an obsessive style of thinking or are neurotic, then this emotional resistance (or 'vicious circle') is very easy to fall into doing and hard to not do.

And even if focusing on a passion - or being passionate and inspired itself- sounds like just another obsession ...it can be the kind of obsession that ironically interrupts it self. Perhaps it has to do with our minds not being able to process negatives (i.e. the 'try not to think of a white elephant' thing) ; but a positive focus can actually help to even out the obsessive energy so that it is less obsessive in nature.

And then it is easier to work on social anxiety. And to practise Mindfulness or other methods that can help train the mind away from obsessive thinking and anxiety.

In fact, what I am suggesting is essentially the same thing that is suggested in mindfulness books, anyway. ....But, while learning a technique is helpful and useful, like Rudolf Nureyev said: "Technique is what you rely on when you run out of inspiration" ...so, likewise, I am finding that inspiring my self by finding genuine enjoyment in art, music and everything in general, is helping me a fair bit.


----------



## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

I read your whole post!
I agree with everything you wrote.
I liked keeping a journal...it helped me understand my thoughts...but the real improvement came when I just didn't think about it anymore. I got out of the place I always lived and saw the world with fresh eyes enjoying every moment as much as I could, imagining that I had permanently gone to paradise. All those feelings holding me back vanished for good because they were no longer part of my identity. I was no longer that guy with a chip on his shoulder fighting SA like the plague, I just simply assumed a new identity. This works as long as you're happy during this new identity phase. Try it for 2 to 3 weeks, nothing but positivity. It's easier on a vacation where you can get away from things.

My passions:
-Art, Psychology, Trading, Entrepreneurship, Music, Sports, Dancing, Having Fun
My overall level of happiness increases when I do something I love instead of focusing on things I don't like.


----------



## Anachiel (Oct 21, 2007)

For a long time I didn't know that SA existed, honestly I thought I was the only person in the world with it and felt like I couldn't tell anyone. Then a few years ago I discovered in shock and amazement that what I was suffering had a name and I went and sought help for it, I still have a long way to go, but yes I can understand how I myself have obsessed a little over SA because now I know that there are millions of people (not just myself) with it and that in itself is a breath of fresh air to know that your not the only one in the world with it. But I agree that focusing more on your own talents and putting more time and effort into those talents does help to take your mind off the SA and bring you more in touch with your inner self and who you really are.

My passions are so eeringly similar to a lot of people on this website it spins me out!
Music rules my heart, mind, soul - I love to sing and feel so much emotion and so much better when I do it, it's almost therapy in itself! Really it just makes me feel so good on the inside, almost a high in itself!
I love writing, depending on my mood, it can be poetry, a song, or my own personal crap, lol
I get melodies running through my mind when Im driving and I record them
And I also love to draw when Im in the mood, I topped the class when I was at school, but I haven't done much of that lately! Gosh I feel like I just copied what most people have already said in other posts but really I have those same interests also! 
And there's so much more but I could go on and on :banana


----------



## CoconutHolder (Oct 13, 2007)

Great post! I agree. I also get obsessive about things. If I can channel that energy into something productive, it would help a lot. I think I'll pursue photography more.


----------



## RubyTuesday (Aug 3, 2007)

Yeah, I guess that I'm not necessarily talking about a 'cure' for anxiety or obsessive thinking even for that matter. But I think that by focusing on a passion -or passion it self!- that a person can reduce their symptoms and make it easier for themselves to both cope with life as well as work towards curing their problems.

One more thing to mention: I've read in a paper on Japanese Morita therapy (which is used for social anxiety) of the way by which people with SA's minds work. It used the word 'hypochondriac' to describe our mind-frame and made mention of how we become phobic about little sorts of things.

Then there is the 'try not to think of a white elephant' syndrome, which my hunch is that people with SA are more susceptible to. -If something 'negative' is mentioned, with the implication : try NOT to think of this- I believe that my mind will tend to lock-onto that thing all the more.

I think that my mind is quite fragile. 

A hunch I have (I say hunch because I don't have much clarity on it as yet) is that even just my thinking about my phobic tendencies or my social anxiety, can have the effect of making me then get preoccupied with it, and I will then be more reactive than if I hadn't spent my time reminding my self of my fears and problems.

...I think that my mind is that fragile -that 'the switch', if you like, for what I focus my energy on, is delicate.

I figure that developing my skills in Mindfulness is important, which is about the ability to stay focussed on something despite distractions and helps a person endure strong emotions and disturbances. 

In the meantime, I find that focusing my energy on a positive can free-up my mind so that I then feel less of that 'resistance' going on when I am aware of a negative (about my self) and then also trying not to think of that negative.


----------



## CoconutHolder (Oct 13, 2007)

You are very deep. I like that. I am too.

This is actually the first I have heard of mindfulness. I will have to try that. 

I enjoyed reading your post.


----------



## smiles (Nov 13, 2006)

I just had a deja vu reading this thread. so weird. :eek 

anyway, I echo with what you say RubyTuesday. Thinking also is a habit. Its difficult to get out of a set way of thinking. But its easier to engage your passions.


----------



## RubyTuesday (Aug 3, 2007)

smiles said:


> I just had a deja vu reading this thread. so weird. :eek
> 
> anyway, I echo with what you say RubyTuesday. Thinking also is a habit. Its difficult to get out of a set way of thinking. But its easier to engage your passions.


...that's an excellent choice of words and explanation, Smiles.
I think that I will quote you when I speak next to my therapist.

"It's difficult to get out of a set way of thinking. But it's easier to engage you passions." 
...this is similar, I think, to the Buddhist idea of getting out of your thoughts. And the spiritual idea I quoted in Walsch's book about a week ago and ideas like Fritz Perls': "You will lose your mind and come to your senses". ...all those instructions on getting back to our feelings.
(I still don't clearly understand just why this is said to work ....however, on an intuitive level it does register as right :lol ...haha!)


----------



## smiles (Nov 13, 2006)

RubyTuesday said:


> ...that's an excellent choice of words and explanation, Smiles.
> I think that I will quote you when I speak next to my therapist.


sorry its trademarked. :b


----------



## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

I really enjoyed that post, RT. 

Great points!


----------



## gooden222 (Oct 26, 2006)

PassionIaying soccer, cooI cIothes, Music, makin money, weight Iifting, my drums

Things i disIikerawing, debating, writting essays, doing speeches,


----------



## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

My passion is being imaginative, innovative and creative.


----------



## abstract symmetry (Oct 4, 2007)

football, poker, writing, painting, cooking, music, pro wrestling, photography and hiking are some of the things that intrigue me, although i don't pursue them as strongly as i could. i tend to be quite obsessive as well, but find myself channelling these tendencies through trivial, non-constructive mediums. great post. i'll give it some thought.


----------



## ANCIENT (Aug 9, 2005)

guitar
restoring cars (going to get a 73 barracuda in a few months :b )


thats it...i dont have that many passions.


----------

