# Uncomfortable being close to people?



## RobAlister (Apr 4, 2010)

So far I'm the only person who seems to have this. If I'm sitting next to someone on a couch or in a car with 2 or more people, I get really uncomfortable. To the point where I just have to leave the area and be off to myself. In a car I feel like getting out and walking around rather than be cooped up next to people. In most cases (and don't laugh) I get these unwanted erections. They're not sexual in nature, they're just there. Oh and before you jump to any conclusions it has nothing to do with being attracted to the person(s) because most of the time it's my family. Has anyone heard anything similar to this or am I really the first person to experience this?


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## numero1 (Apr 7, 2009)

Well I am uncomfortable being close to people emotionally AND physically. I also can't maintain eye contact for some odd reason. Its not because I get nervous but it just doesn't feel natural.


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## Jayne311 (Aug 20, 2009)

I hate physical contact. It feels like some kind of violation, even if it's meant to be friendly. That's one reason why I want to live alone so bad; I can be sure that for at least half the day I can fully relax because no one else will be around.


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

I feel uncomfortable about phycial contact, like if someone pats me on my shoulder or something i get this horrible spine tingling feeling like i feel my personal space has been invaded.

I'm also uncomfortable touching other people too.


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## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

I'm like gaz.
Awkwardly enough though I'm fine with sex, but kissing, hugging, pats on the back is strange for me. I sometimes hug my mom though and feel good about it, but same time I get a weird feeling of being afraid and being too close.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

I don't like to invade people's personal space and sometimes contact greetings feel awkward and forced. I guess showing more emotion in general would help?


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## mysterioussoul (Jul 17, 2010)

the only reason why i feel uncomfortable with physical contact is because i feel like if i accidentally touch or brush against someone that they would freak out and be disgusted by me.

also i don't hug a lot of people and my friends are not affectionate so i'm not used to a lot of physical contact with other people. the only person i hug is my mum.


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## Joe (May 18, 2010)

Kinda must be the most awkward thing ever, sometimes i get random erections but i think its due to growing up with me. Your 22 so maybe its the same. 
Look on wikipedia for causes of erections. 

I get uncomfortable too even around my family, and when i walk somewhere i always get nervous incase i see someone i know. 

Maybe thats why im starting to be a bit of a recluse, gonna stop now since ive gone onto something different.


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## Joe (May 18, 2010)

I also think that this is just a part of social anxiety, i dunno if its important or not (not the erection thing though, it could be but i doubt it)


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## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

Is this an SA thing too? I do not enjoy having people too close to me. I don't like being touched, usually. I have a difficult time with hugs and holding hands...and it shows and I feel bad, because I'm not necessarily rejecting the other person. I have to zone a little to handle being touched. Because I know this about myself, I mostly do not touch other people in case they don't like to be touched. At work, I would pat or rub the back of someone's chair while they're sitting in it, instead of their back. Do NOT try to give me a back massage. Ugh, that is the worst! Maybe I'm not a freak afterall. Yay!...sorta. :blank


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## BrinaBaby28 (Dec 14, 2012)

*Ditto*



mysterioussoul said:


> the only reason why i feel uncomfortable with physical contact is because i feel like if i accidentally touch or brush against someone that they would freak out and be disgusted by me.
> 
> also i don't hug a lot of people and my friends are not affectionate so i'm not used to a lot of physical contact with other people. the only person i hug is my mum.


I concur with your post, mysterioussoul. I, too, believe that people will be disgusted by me if I were to come anywhere near them. When I was younger, my house was always dirty, and when ppl would come over, my mother would rush us to clean up as fast as possible. I became ashamed as a result of this. I believe my mother was, too. We also had roaches everywhere and couldn't understand why everyone of our homes were filthy like this. Aside from this, I spent many nights over my cousin's house and their house was nothing less than perfect. My uncle knew my house was dirty and had roaches everywhere. Therefore, every time I came over to their house, he would leave my overnight bags outside until he had shaken them out - he did this every time. Sometimes he would even change the bed linens when i stayed over - as if I was the filth of the earth. One time he felt that I didn't clean myself well, and he decided to wash me up himself, right there, in the middle of his room, I stood naked, humiliated and ashamed. I couldn't believe that he had done this to me, and in front of my aunt and my female cousin. What's more, I couldn't believe that I had been depressed so long to the point where I could not even speak up myself and let him know that what he was doing was wrong.

For much of my life, I have been very scared to speak (i was a mute in school, and made no close friendships with anyone), i have been scared to show my face, scared to look people in the eye, scared to stand up for myself, scared to drive out of fear that others are watching me and judging me or that I am getting too close to them ( I have severe trouble staying in my lane when driving because of my fears, I have road rage, I drive fast just to "get away"). I have lived much of my life in avoidance and fear of others.

If I could have a life where I wasn't always on guard or looking out the windows or being paranoid that someone will find me out, I swear I would be happy. People have no idea that there are other people in this world who are suffering in silence from a disease that they don't EVER see a possible cure for. I am 28 yrs old and this has been a lifelong illness.


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## darkraincloud (Dec 11, 2012)

I hate being close to people, too, and I also hate contact. Like others in this thread, it's based in my worry that people will be disgusted by me.


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## Hexle (Jan 29, 2012)

I hate close physical contact, always hated it. My father can't express that he's sorry verbally for some reason, so whenever we fight he'll go like " you know I'd like to hug you now, but you won't let me.." as if I'm the one who made a mistake..^^ Seriously though if he did indeed hug me I'd probably freak out, push him away and tell him to piss off. I'm okay with handshakes these days, but that'a about as far as I'll go lol


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## ames44 (Dec 19, 2012)

I have always hated close contact, I have a hard time even sitting across from people at a table. I just dont like people being able to see me up close. People close to me have also noticed it, they always say how distant I am and how I cant really let myself get close to people (physically and emotionally). Its akward when I have to hug people because they can feel how uncomfortable and invaded I feel and so I usually just get a pat on the shoulder. I just dont like people looking at me. Hopefully I can become more secure with my looks.


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## ToucanSam (Mar 22, 2012)

Jessie203 said:


> I'm like gaz.
> Awkwardly enough though I'm fine with sex, but kissing, hugging, pats on the back is strange for me.


I'm like gaz _and_ jessie.

If I'm walking in public, I avoid brushing by people at all costs. I'll make a 6-foot detour just to avoid it.


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## amc420 (Feb 7, 2012)

Not a guy, but I could understand excited erections. You get nervous, your blood starts pumping like crazy, it happens. I need a good 2 square feet of space around me clear in order to feel comfortable. Every person who knows me knows better than to touch me or get too close. I actually get a little aggressive about it


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## peacelovemusic (Apr 13, 2012)

I also get very uncomfortable being close to people. The rare times when someone touches me, even just patting me on the shoulder or rubbing my back, it just feels so foreign and wrong. With all the friends I've had in my life, I have NEVER touched them, hugged them, anything. Even when I was younger, it just never seemed natural to me. It's weird because my parents (but mostly my mom) always hugged me, kissed me, picked me up, rubbed my back, etc., when I was little so it seems like I would be more comfortable touching other people, but I never have been. When someone I'm not comfortable with (which is most people) stands too close to me, I get extremely tense and an overwhelming desire to move away, which is all I can think about in that moment. Once, I was standing with some friends and this guy who I didn't know very well came up and stood next to me and I automatically, without even thinking about it, backed away to give him room and he gave me a weird look and said "you just like, moved away" but I was so caught off guard that I just shrugged and smiled slightly and after that, I was so embarrassed. I always think about what a ***** I must seem like a lot of times and I want to explain and say, "It's not you! I don't actually hate you, I'm just incapable of being a normal human being!" :no


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## mikeiscacc (Nov 18, 2013)

If so, see this video of Sitting Very Close To People Randomly and Awkwardly filmed in Sacramento State University:





Just Go TV - new YouTube channel features awkward pranks and comedy


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## Minerve (Mar 20, 2011)

I'm a bit like that as well, though it depends with who. My mom told me as a baby I disliked being cuddled too much, so without being necessarily ''pathological'', I think it might also be simply a personality trait.

I actually like to hug my parents and my brother, but I dislike when people I don't consider close to me try to initiate a physical contact. This include coworkers. Maybe there is a misunderstanding... in their head, I'm ''part of the family'' so to speak, but to me it's like ''Don't you f**king dare pat my shoulder or invade my personal bubble. You're not family so back off.''

Obviously it's not something you can say because it'll make you look like a weirdo... so I'm doubly frustrated, because not only do I feel like my physical boundaries aren't respected, but I also can't speak up... because for most people those physical contacts are nothing to think twice about.


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