# No friends. What do YOU do with your time?



## Dominokim (Dec 4, 2012)

I'm married but have no friends. My husbands
Sisters hated me so I have nothing to do with them
And my own 5 siblings have ostracized me my
Entire life. I am an outcast and feel socially
Inept but can have good laughs of course
With alcohol but try not to drink my issues
Away. I'm better than average in appearance
Which my husband attributes to my problem
With women hating me bit the reality is I think
It goes deeper than that. I have a couple 
Male friends but honestly wonder if its because
Of my looks because since I've been married they
Want nothing to do with me. So what kind of friend
Is that. Haven't had girlfriends sine high school
And all of them were from dysfunctional families

Venting and asking a question at the same time

How do you spend your free time when you 
Don't have friends? My husband is my best friend
But I have no one beyond that. His friends
Are really cliquey and I never feel comfortable
Around them. 

Anyway what do you do when you have no friends?


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## Dominokim (Dec 4, 2012)

Wow 42 views and no response. I feel
Right at home here.


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## Dominokim (Dec 4, 2012)

That's sarcasm. Not self pity


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

Find a hobby, its what I do.


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## ilana (Nov 5, 2012)

Aside from the obvious eating, sleeping, showering, etc. I fluff around online, cook & clean, look up words in the dictionary I don't know, read a bit of the newspaper, bite my nails, listen to the radio, watch TV. Help with food shopping. See how other people's lives appear to be on Facebook. Think about stuff. 

Yeah... 

I can also tell you about my dental hygiene regime if you want. It's truly fascinating in its banality. :yes


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## kayprc (Nov 29, 2012)

I'm in the exact same predicament as you are. It gets lonely. Work used to be my outlet but I lost my job a few months ago. Try to find a hobby. Things that interest you. I wish I could of more help but I honestly don't know how I get thru most days. I have three kids so they keep me busy. But even with that it gets monotonous. I used to have a best friend we were friends since we were 12 but my boyfriend didn't like her so I let her go. we used to do everything together. I am not an ugly woman either and I used to think I didn't have friends because of the way I look but I'm sorry to say that's not true. Like beautiful woman have friends. They have more friends than they want or need sometimes. It's all on you and how people perceive you. If you walk in a room with the notion that no one is gonna like you then that's the response you're gonna get from people. I wish you lived in New York we could have been friends lol.


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## Daktoria (Sep 21, 2010)

A lot of the time, people ostracize you because they don't think you're confident. That makes you seem unreliable in the future, so they don't want to be bothered. 

Here are some things you can do to get back into your family:

One, just because someone says something doesn't make it true.

Two, it's not your obligation to prove someone else wrong.

Three, your attention is your most precious resource. Don't waste it where it isn't wanted. Take pride in who you are, and realize that others aren't better than you.

Four, if someone challenges you, stay the course. Someone's testing to see if you really care about what you believe in.


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## alittleunwell (May 27, 2012)

I work out at the gym. And watch a lot of TV.


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## Brasilia (Aug 23, 2012)

SAS. Watch the sun set.


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## Voidstarlit (Jul 10, 2011)

i just watch anime all day every day


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## charlier (Nov 28, 2012)

Sorry to hear about that. If you have any hobbies you like perhaps go to like a local meetup and make new friends when you have a common interest then that will bind you as a common reason to be friends.


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## Randall (Apr 8, 2006)

TV, internet and radio are my friends. Plus food and Dr. Pepper.


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## OneIsALonelyNumber (Mar 28, 2005)

I have a good friend who lives in another state, and another good friend that lives here at home with me and who happens to have four legs and a tail. You asked what I do with my free time. I spend some time on the computer, some time reading, and some time watching netflix dvds. I take one of my friends on a long walk twice a week. I exercise. I like to go backpacking, but don't get to do that often; maybe a couple of times a year, but it's something I look forward to.


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## ilana (Nov 5, 2012)

Just realised this question was in the 30+ section. :doh

Oh well, it's not like that won't come around quickly. :hide


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

i do whatever i feel at a given moment


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## cloister2 (Sep 2, 2011)

internet, cook, gym, read, walk, swim, internet...


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## Awkto Awktavious (May 11, 2011)

Internet and sleep is pretty much all I do in my spare time.


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## CK1708 (Mar 30, 2011)

I think maybe saying your married and have no friends has turn people away from this thread


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## Dominokim (Dec 4, 2012)

*Are you kidding me?*

Seriously, you think because someone is married that means they can't have social anxiety and NOT have friends? Really?

Having a life partner doesn't constitute having a circle of friends. It's not synonymous.

wtf is that supposed to mean? That the only people on this board are supposed to be hermits without anyone in their life? That's the most ridiculous and judgemental thing I've heard. really??


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## Camelleone (Feb 3, 2011)

If I'm working then my time will be filled with working and only little energy to browsing internet or watch tv series at night.
* But usually women here go to yoga and do exercise at gym or studio.. I'll definitely do that when I have my own car


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## Lelsey (Feb 7, 2011)

Finally found your threat. just want to say hi. 
I work most of the time, including weekend so i guess i can't really answer your question. Few years ago when my work was not this bad, i used to try signing up for language classes, painting/ dance classes,etc... i choose the slightly cheaper/unpopular ones since there are less people, i wont get nervous as much. It can help to kill time during the day and who knows, if you are lucky you can make friends too.


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## wonderinggirl27 (Dec 6, 2012)

Sorry to hear what you are going through. If don't have any friends, I would just do what makes me happy and do what I want to do. I leave those people be. Maybe they aren't worth it. Find some friends other people who enjoy your company or who accept you for you. 

I may have feel the same feeling that I don't have any good real friends. Sometimes I still feel that way or think that way because the friends I have had make were wrong choice of friends or that have taken advantage of me. I know how some people are clicky or with their own cliques think that they are cool better than me. Ugh.

Probably joining church functions or other events would help if you want to make new friends.

All we gotta do is go out and explore more. Explore our minds.. 

And speaking of not having friends, I do like to vent or type it on notepad or word like a journal. I even sometimes blogged about friends from the past or no friends at all or how people don't like me. Venting on a blog may help.


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

Waiting my death.


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## vstar401 (Nov 11, 2012)

I live my life here. You should too.


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## cloister2 (Sep 2, 2011)

Lelsey said:


> Finally found your threat. just want to say hi.
> I work most of the time, including weekend so i guess i can't really answer your question. Few years ago when my work was not this bad, i used to try signing up for language classes, painting/ dance classes,etc... i choose the slightly cheaper/unpopular ones since there are less people, i wont get nervous as much. It can help to kill time during the day and who knows, if you are lucky you can make friends too.


Where do you do things like this?


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## Lelsey (Feb 7, 2011)

cloister2 said:


> Where do you do things like this?


What do you mean?


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## cloister2 (Sep 2, 2011)

oh just meant where did you take classes? I would need to go cheap as I have no money.


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## Lelsey (Feb 7, 2011)

Oh, I went to the community club near my place, they have lots of classes, cheap ones. Like $10 per class.


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## lonesomeboy (Aug 29, 2005)

For me I spend most of my time watching movies, TV Shows, playing games, internet, walking the dog. I do work full time also so I try to bury myself in that.
Its a pretty sad existence.


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## Eastcoastgrl (Dec 9, 2012)

I'm married also but my husband works 70+ hours a week. I spend time with my baby and take her to a "class" or library lapsit 3x a week and spend a ridiculous amount of time at Target just to get out of the house.


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## Rich19 (Aug 11, 2012)

kayprc said:


> I'm in the exact same predicament as you are. It gets lonely. Work used to be my outlet but I lost my job a few months ago. Try to find a hobby. Things that interest you. I wish I could of more help but I honestly don't know how I get thru most days. I have three kids so they keep me busy. But even with that it gets monotonous. I used to have a best friend we were friends since we were 12 but my boyfriend didn't like her so I let her go. we used to do everything together. I am not an ugly woman either and I used to think I didn't have friends because of the way I look but I'm sorry to say that's not true. Like beautiful woman have friends. They have more friends than they want or need sometimes. It's all on you and how people perceive you. If you walk in a room with the notion that no one is gonna like you then that's the response you're gonna get from people. I wish you lived in New York we could have been friends lol.


Yout BF made u give up your only freind that you had since you were twelve. Does he love you at all???


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

I'm in 2 yoga classes, a pilates class, and a cross-fitness class. Without that I'd probably be depressed lonely. Right now I'm just lonely without the depressed. Keeps me fit, reduces stress, and gets me out of the house, doing things with people who have similar interests. Although I haven't made any friends that I could like call and hang out with on a Saturday night, I feel that everybody in my classes would lend a hand if I ever needed it.


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## KevOh (Dec 17, 2012)

Internet, gaming, kids, download tv series/movies, cry myself to sleep, wait for death.


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## darkraincloud (Dec 11, 2012)

I haven't worked in three years, only have one friend I never even hang out with, yet I almost never experience boredom. I'm on the internet a lot. I watch TV. I read. I work out. I ride my bike. I play with my cat. I draw. I crochet. I write short stories. Sometimes I meet people to play board games. That's enough, strangely. I feel guilty that it's enough, but it's enough for me.


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## Nick9075 (May 25, 2010)

darkraincloud said:


> I haven't worked in three years, only have one friend I never even hang out with, yet I almost never experience boredom. I'm on the internet a lot. I watch TV. I read. I work out. I ride my bike. I play with my cat. I draw. I crochet. I write short stories. Sometimes I meet people to play board games. That's enough, strangely. I feel guilty that it's enough, but it's enough for me.


I try to do those things but not having a job I find really really limits your options (and I am not talking financially), just that people avoid you and assume that something is wrong with you (even if they don't say so)


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

Okay well I have friends now... not many but enough. 

But I did go through a long period without them, I was lucky I have always had school and or a job though. So that has always taken up time but with my free time I spend a LOT of time on internet messageboards that relate to my interests. (Boards that discuss my favorite TV shows etc). 

I also got into a hobby (makeup for me, but collecting ANYTHING can be fun) and again found discussion boards to learn about the hobby, and find ideas and tips and tricks to engage in the hobby. 

I started working out religiously (not so great with it as much right now) keeping a consistent routine and monitoring my progress (both weight loss wise, AND noticing the improvements in my strength, flexibility and cardio capabilities really gave me a sense of accomplishment. Pushing myself to be the best me I could be at the time really felt amazing. 

I tried knitting, I've tried picking up instruments, i've gotten deeply emotionally involved in TV shows or book series. Etc. 

That said I threw myself into school and work a lot which seemed a productive way to avoid the lonley feelings. 


None of this made the loneliness dissapear completely but it definitely helped. And yes I was single and always have been but I don't think any of these strategies are out of reach for someone who is married.


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## DubnRun (Oct 29, 2011)

im sick of waking up staring into space, browsing youtube for 11hours then going to sleep.. if you have no friends or acquantainces it means you gotta go everyday without even speaking. nothing to do, no one to talk to, nowhere to go, ...


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## Nick9075 (May 25, 2010)

DubnRun said:


> im sick of waking up staring into space, browsing youtube for 11hours then going to sleep.. if you have no friends or acquantainces it means you gotta go everyday without even speaking. nothing to do, no one to talk to, nowhere to go, ...


Well what about when you go out see people together who you wish you could hang out with but they are so outside your social circle and probably would treat you as "less than"?


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## DubnRun (Oct 29, 2011)

Nick9075 said:


> Well what about when you go out see people together who you wish you could hang out with but they are so outside your social circle and probably would treat you as "less than"?


well then they wouldn't be friends, and I wouldn't be friends with them. Im not so desperate that I would hang around with a bunch of users doesnt matter how lonely I am. nah Id rather not.


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## SartoriTaurus (Feb 11, 2012)

I read and write a lot. I also watch films everyday. And listen to music. I just do what I enjoy doing because it keeps me entertained. Usually when I'm bored, I tend to 'lose it'.


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## darkraincloud (Dec 11, 2012)

Nick9075 said:


> I try to do those things but not having a job I find really really limits your options (and I am not talking financially), just that people avoid you and assume that something is wrong with you (even if they don't say so)


Oh, trust me, I know. Oh, how I know. I have a lot of anxiety about that. I don't want to be honest about my situation. I used to have quite a few friends but I lost them all either because they ditched me or I've hidden away too much out of sheer embarrassment.

That's why I like Meetup.com events. There's usually an activity to focus on, so people don't ask me what I do for a living. I get so scared unless I know people are in a similar situation.

Unfortunately, it's impossible to meet people in a similar situation because I'm too scared to get out and meet them. Also, the last person I met in my situation ended up stealing from me and being a horrible person. It's a hermit's life for me!


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## jazzman (Sep 23, 2011)

If I'm @ work, it's better, although it is better not to try and find a support group at work. I'm living alone now and am not even invited by my sister for Christmas, as I think they will just be too happy to cry a false tear or two when people ask them: "Now why did he do IT?" and deep down relieved to be rid of the odd one in the family!~


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## AceRimmer (Nov 12, 2008)

Considering I've been unemployed for over 3 years and I'm flat broke, I mainly surf the web and try to teach myself how to code since I'm debating whether to get a BS in CS.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

Video games, internet, listening to music, sometimes cooking.


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## cloister2 (Sep 2, 2011)

Besides work, I go to random events. That way I make sure to socialize and although I may not have any close friends I am not totally bored. Also, I read and watch movies.


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## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

Thinking up ways I can get rich so I will never have to worry about an income again and not coming up with any.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

The fact that I am here shows my boredom, and I am bored as ****. My gift to the forum


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## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

It depends on what you call friends, because I do have friends on the world wide web...strange as that sounds.

But no friends in "meat space"...
-games
-movies
-painting class
-workout class
-work (beginning to hate work...people dislike me there...my own fault I suppose...need to make a living though)
-hang with family and animals (yup)
-sleep
-eat
-drink
-be merry


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

I have a fake facebook account for facebook games and that's how I spend my time. I have no job, no friends, no vehicle.


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## David1976 (Nov 8, 2003)

I spend my time on the computer and doing things around the house. I try to get out at least once a day for an errand. I try to have projects for myself to keep busy. I don't really have a project right now so things are starting to get tough. No friends is a tough thing but also no expectations either. I can't say the same about a girlfriend.... wish I had one of those... at least to hang around with and doesn't care that I live at home with no job at 36.. I guess that can be wishful thinking... I know of a meetup group in boston but I haven't had the guts to make it to one.


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## DubnRun (Oct 29, 2011)

Damn im still finding myself bored  sick of being alone and bored...


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## xXAnnXx (Dec 23, 2012)

Well I am married too for 14 yrs, have a son, step son, step daughter, 2 dogs.
Things I do are; play games on kindle fire hd, read boyxboy stories on wattpad, make cakes, crochet and knit, watch tv sometimes. hope this helps you


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## Hawx79 (Dec 11, 2012)

Watch TV, doing my groceries, listening music, watching movies, playing pc games, reading books, working out or just look outside!


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