# 2nd Base



## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

The guy I'm dating now moves kind of fast (IMO), but then again, I've never been in a relationship before so maybe I move slow. Either way, we've been on 3+ dates and I love being around him. We made-out during our second date, and he actually tried to get to both second AND third base on our third date but I told him no. Anyways, I wouldn't mind letting him get to second now. I was just unprepared and a little shocked the first time he tried it. Here's my question: What should I expect? 

I have NO idea what to expect. Will he try to take my shirt off? Will he feel me up underneath my shirt? My friend told me her boyfriend pushed her shirt up so that she was exposed and she said it made her feel really awkward. 

I don't mind doing this with my guy--I just don't want to be caught off guard. 

And guys, please try to be respectful of the topic b/c I don't want it getting locked! Thanks!


----------



## Woody (Nov 16, 2003)

I think I rushed things with my girlfriend during our early dates also. Well, I know I did because she told me so. I've always considered myself to be very shy and reserved. However, when I first met my girlfriend I found myself very physically attracted to her, and I think she was to me also. We met online and I had seen pictures of her but I was totally unprepared for these kinds of feelings. Because of my SA I had very little experience. So I was surprised at how difficult it was to "hold back".

I think the key here is communication. You need to let him know in no uncertain terms that you really like him but that he needs to slow down. Don't expect him to pick up on any signals you are trying to send. He cannot read your mind. If after you have done this he continues to pressure you then you should take more drastic action, such as not seeing him again. His attraction to you is not a bad thing. It just means that he is really physically into you. However, if he does not respect your desire to slow down then he's probably "only" interested in you physically.


----------



## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

there isnt anyone who can tell what he will do. each person has their own ways


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Yep - you need to set some boundaries. If he likes you, he will respect them .


----------



## AdamCanada (Dec 6, 2003)

i went up my gf shirt for the first time when she was on the phone with some lady, i just thought it would be funny to see her choke up, didn't even think about it :lol

then it just went on from there, i would do it for other reasons though 


i doubt he will take your shirt off, prolly just go up it.


----------



## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

millenniumman75 said:


> Yep - you need to set some boundaries. If he likes you, he will respect them .


Oh sorry if I gave the wrong impression. I shouldn't have mentioned he moved fast as that's pretty irrelevant. He is respectful of my boundaries and stops when I tell him no.

But you're right, I'm not comfortable with the idea of him taking off my shirt so I should set that boundary in case he tries that. I'm much more comfortable going to 2nd base with my shirt on--considering that the last two times we made-out his MOTHER walked in on us :fall


----------



## sonya99 (Sep 5, 2005)

I'm not fond of having my shirt pulled halfway up either. Much better if someone goes under it, or takes it off. Just personal preference. 

I agree with what everyone's saying. Talking to him about it will only do you two good. It'll make things much more relaxed if you define some boundaries.


----------



## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

I don't necessarily want him to slow down


----------



## Woody (Nov 16, 2003)

NightinGale said:


> I don't necessarily want him to slow down


Well, I totally misinterpreted your original post. Not only am I unable to understand women's signals or hints, I am unable to understand them even when they write it down. :lol


----------



## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

NightinGale said:


> What should I expect?


Expect more groping while you're making out. If he takes out the rubber gloves and snorkel, you may be in for a treat.


----------



## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

tell us what he does


----------



## Augustinus (Mar 17, 2007)

If it's alright with you NightinGale (I don't want to derail this thread), but could someone please tell me what is 2nd base and 3rd base exactly? I figure 1 base is kissing (with tongue?) and 4th or home is intercourse, but I'm lost as to the other two.


----------



## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*



Woody said:


> NightinGale said:
> 
> 
> > I don't necessarily want him to slow down
> ...


Haha, it's okay Woody. Upon rereading my original post I can see where you got that idea. Thanks for the insight, anyways.

1st base--Kissing/frenching/making-out
2nd base--Up the shirt/fondling
3rd base--Down the pants (the new 3rd, apparently, is oral among the up coming youth)
Home run--sex


----------



## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*



NightinGale said:


> 3rd base--Down the pants (the new 3rd, apparently, is oral among the up coming youth)


3rd has always been oral. Maybe you meant the new 1st? :b


----------



## custard25 (Feb 19, 2007)

I say you should talk to him, but whatever, Im not in a base, im not even the bat boy, cuz I dont have a girlfriend or ever had one!!! =`(


----------



## aviator99 (Nov 23, 2006)

How many innings are left in this baseball game you all speak of? I'm still in the dugout waiting to bat here :lol 

opcorn


----------



## Augustinus (Mar 17, 2007)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*

:nw Thanks NightinGale for the info.



aviator99 said:


> How many innings are left in this baseball game you all speak of? I'm still in the dugout waiting to bat here :lol


Ha! I don't even have tickets for the game :lol


----------



## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*



aviator99 said:


> How many innings are left in this baseball game you all speak of? I'm still in the dugout waiting to bat here :lol
> 
> opcorn


Uh...let's just say I've only gotten to first base at this point, but if he had his way he'd probably have hit a home run on our third date. I'm a damn good umpire, though :lol . I keep him in line.

Back to the topic though! What am I to expect? What do guys do when they're up there, anyways?


----------



## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*



NightinGale said:


> 1st base--Kissing/frenching/making-out
> 2nd base--Up the shirt/fondling
> 3rd base--Down the pants (the new 3rd, apparently, is oral among the up coming youth)
> Home run--sex


Grand Slam--anal


----------



## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Good times...lol not really.


----------



## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*



NightinGale said:


> Back to the topic though! What am I to expect? What do guys do when they're up there, anyways?


We massage them, like bags of sand. :b

They're my favorite kind of stress-reliever. :banana


----------



## sonya99 (Sep 5, 2005)

some have moves...like the kitten, the bread-maker, etc :b


----------



## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*



sonya99 said:


> some have moves...like the kitten, the bread-maker, etc :b


Haha, have you ever heard of "fixing the carborator"?

Actually, that's my fear that he's going to do something weird like twist something 'cause I know guys do weird things when it comes to boobs.


----------



## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

Well, I've never even been at bat, so I can't offer any input from experience on this topic. However, I think that if a guy and girl are going to be physical with each other for the first time (apart from kissing) it's only polite for the guy to ask before he touches a girl. At least that's what I would do.


----------



## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*



NightinGale said:


> Actually, that's my fear that he's going to do something weird like twist something 'cause I know guys do weird things when it comes to boobs.


If he does do that, you have every right to tell him to stop if you're not comfortable with it.

Some of my 'past involvements' did some pretty painful things to me in the name of 'passion', thinking that this turned me on or just because it turned them on and it did just the opposite for me.


----------



## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*



leppardess said:


> NightinGale said:
> 
> 
> > Actually, that's my fear that he's going to do something weird like twist something 'cause I know guys do weird things when it comes to boobs.
> ...


It's vitial that women tell us what they want. I can't read minds and I assume other men can't either. And there is an extreme degree of variation in what different women enjoy. Some find what I'd deem mild touching too much for their sensitive breasts. Yet there are other women who go wild at being handled in a very rough manner. And I sure can't guess which way a woman likes it unless she says something.


----------



## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

Man, this thread is a little depressing. I haven't even gotten to make out with someone from the internet that I'm not attracted to in over a year. It's been two years since sex. I know others here have had much less experience, but... I wish I could make out with a girl, even if I regretted it. At least it's practice.


----------



## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*



UltraShy said:


> leppardess said:
> 
> 
> > NightinGale said:
> ...


True. Communication is seriously important, especially about this but some things just 'happen' in the heat of the moment and don't really get talked out enough.

A sensitive man will take the time to listen, while other guys tend to 'get to it' and don't take the time to hear what a woman likes. Or, he gets carried away in his feelings and forgets everything that the woman tells him.


----------



## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*



Noca said:


> tell us what he does


aight. So I saw my guy last Sunday and two things happened: A.) He made it official that we're a couple (weeee!), and B.) I let him get to second and third base (or just second, depending on your definition). I won't get into detail, but it wasn't awkward like I expected it to be. In fact, I didn't even realize he unhooked my bra and as for touching--it was fine. He makes me feel really comfortable and I love being with him.  He didn't spend much time feeling me up, though, and I'm wondering if that's normal. Like, I'm small, 34-A, but I'm also 5'1" and 90 pounds so they're proportional to the rest of my body, it's not like I'm flat chested. I dunno, with all the hoopla over breasts I just thought he'd touch them more. Oh well.


----------



## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

Not bad. 

...don't worry. (Hopefully) He'll be feeling you up in no time. It should only get better.


----------



## aviator99 (Nov 23, 2006)

[Takes seat in stands behind home plate]

+Popcorn Please+

opcorn

+Beer Please+

:drunk

+Thats some good Popcorn - Another bag please+

opcorn


----------



## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

Okay, so now I'd like to highjack my thread and bring up a NEW situation! 

My bf, iguess, enjoys pleasuring me and told me he does it because "I care about you." I told him, "Well, maybe on our next date I can show you how much I care about you." Code for: maybe I'll give you a hand/blow job next time. The problem? I'm shocked in myself. *John* (name changed) knows he's basically my first in every realm of our relationship because he is my first real boyfriend. I will feel completely at ease around him and I know he'd show me the right way to, um, please a fella so that I know what I'm doing. 

There's not really a problem here, I just never pictured myself doing these things. I'm young ( 18 ), and when I imagined me having sex, or doing anything more sexual than kissing, I always imagined it as a long time off. Now it's here and I can't believe it. It's almost like a wedding day. You dream and dream about it and BAM suddenly it's here and gone. 

anyone relate? or have comments?


----------



## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*



NightinGale said:


> have comments?


..take pictures?


----------



## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

Costello: Well then who's on first?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: I mean the fellow's name.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy on first.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The first baseman.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy playing...
Abbott: Who is on first!
Costello: I'm asking YOU who's on first.
Abbott: That's the man's name.
Costello: That's who's name?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: That's who?
Abbott: Yes.


----------



## Micronian (Nov 11, 2004)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*



NightinGale said:


> Noca said:
> 
> 
> > tell us what he does
> ...


kinda funny. in your first post you were concerned about getting touched, now you're concerned about getting touched more. I don't know. I think it's funny.

anyways, I remember the first time I went to "2nd base". I was kinda slow. I started touching her over her clothes, then after no complaints I asked to go under. Whatever the case, for a shy/timid guy, moving up that ladder is always full of pressure. It's a big risk, even if it doesn't seem like it.


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*



Inturmal said:


> NightinGale said:
> 
> 
> > have comments?
> ...


better still, takes notes for the rest of us virgins. :b


----------



## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*



FreeSoul said:


> Inturmal said:
> 
> 
> > NightinGale said:
> ...


I've never initiated anything sexual with John. He's always made the first move. And he's ballsy. He just goes for it. And if I don't like what he's doing I tell him "no" and if I do like what he's doing I tell him so. But, yeah, every sexual thing (kissing, groping, oral, etc) he's initiated. I will initiate kissing and making-out now, but he was always the first. Here's the run down of our dates:

1st date = nothing, I gave him a kiss on the cheek when he dropped me off.

2nd date = Made-out, he kissed me with tongue, but I didn't allow him to go farther.

3rd date = made-out, he tried to go farther but I told him no.

4th date = made-out, up the shirt, down the pants

....latest date, (I'm not sure how many we're up to now, maybe 6 or 7): oral

Hell, if you find a girl/guy you have mad chemistry with, then you'll be getting physical real soon


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

This makes dating sound so fun... :sigh


----------



## free thinker (Nov 11, 2003)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*



Inturmal said:


> 3rd has always been oral. Maybe you meant the new 1st? :b


Actually, before the 1980s fellatio was considered to be the ultimate experience, definitely beyond a home run. Back then, many women including married women, were unwilling to do it because they viewed it as filthy or degrading. Men used to go to prostitutes simply because their mates wouldn't perform oral sex. It just goes to show you how much things have changed in the past few decades.

The guys have it made today. In my youth, there was little chance of moving from one base to the next after each date. A guy would usually have to wait a month or two before he could advance to the next stage, that is, if he was lucky. Very frustrating indeed. :mum


----------



## TX boy (Apr 26, 2006)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*



NightinGale said:


> ....latest date, (I'm not sure how many we're up to now, maybe 6 or 7): oral


Who was the giver?


----------



## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*



free thinker said:


> The guys have it made today. In my youth, there was little chance of moving from one base to the next after each date. A guy would usually have to wait a month or two before he could advance to the next stage, that is, if he was lucky. Very frustrating indeed. :mum


Sometimes I think it'd be better if I made my boyfriend wait longer just because I think waiting makes things more special when you finally get to have it. But according to him, I'm taking it very slow now so whatever. I'm not complaining!



TX boy said:


> NightinGale said:
> 
> 
> > ....latest date, (I'm not sure how many we're up to now, maybe 6 or 7): oral
> ...


He was the giver, which makes me feel kind of bad b/c I haven't touched him below the belt and he's doing all this for me. He's amazing


----------



## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*



free thinker said:


> Inturmal said:
> 
> 
> > 3rd has always been oral. Maybe you meant the new 1st? :b
> ...


I remember a guy who said he expects a BJ on the first date. Well, he didn't say it to me directly, he was a DJ on the radio, but he may as well have been saying it to me directly because we had recently went out before he said it. He didn't get anything from me because at that time I was very innocent and had never done it before so **** him.
Anyway, that's just the way things are now. It's more fast-paced in the dating world, but I respect those who are still slowing things down and in the end, I really think that's what makes the girl stand out...and if the guy doesn't want to be bothered with her because she's not "putting out", then obviously he's not the right one.

...and with that said, I shall take my own advice from now on. 
It's funny how I know the answers to things, but when I get in a certain situation, it's like I can't control myself...


----------



## salty (Mar 21, 2006)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*



NightinGale said:


> Hell, if you find a girl/guy you have mad chemistry with, then you'll be getting physical real soon


 :agree

i have a long-distance girlfriend, but when we met each other for the first time (after like 9 months of talking on the phone, text messaging, aim, myspace, etc.) it seemed to progress really fast, even for me, and i was the one who initiated most of it. i think it's just the chemistry we have though. i wish i could be closer to my gf like you and and your bf nightingale, i envy your situation. best of luck!


----------



## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*



NightinGale said:


> 4th date = made-out, up the shirt, down the pants
> 
> ....latest date, (I'm not sure how many we're up to now, maybe 6 or 7): oral
> 
> Hell, if you find a girl/guy you have mad chemistry with, then you'll be getting physical real soon


I don't want to sound creepy or anything but I'm just asking this for future reference; I've never had any physical experience with a girl and this could come in handy if I ever do. I know that "3rd base" is "down the pants" and you said that was what you two did on your 4th date. When you say "down the pants", do you mean he actually slipped his hand down your pants while you were still wearing them or did he take them off? Again, I'm asking because I'm clueless.


----------



## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*



IcedOver said:


> I don't want to sound creepy or anything but I'm just asking this for future reference; I've never had any physical experience with a girl and this could come in handy if I ever do. I know that "3rd base" is "down the pants" and you said that was what you two did on your 4th date. When you say "down the pants", do you mean he actually slipped his hand down your pants while you were still wearing them or did he take them off? Again, I'm asking because I'm clueless.


Haha, it's okay IcedOver I don't think you sound creepy at all! "Down the pants" refers to him putting his hand down my pants. But b/c of the things he was doing down there (fingering), the pants soon came off. Sorry if anything I say sounds too graphic. I'm trying to use the appropriate terms.


----------



## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

Well thank you for the clarification. I just wasn't sure about the "way things are done". If you don't mind my asking, have you hit a mutual "home run" yet? At any rate, it sounds like you're having fun and I hope that you continue to have fun and come out of your shell. I assume you have SA and it's good that you're connecting with someone.


----------



## aviator99 (Nov 23, 2006)

opcorn 

I am now ordering opcorn by the pallet.

--------------------------------

Sorry i'm only teasing lol.

Holy smokes you guys are like on the 5th+ date and have almost went all the way? Man that sounds to me like a relationship thats flying at Mach 3 with full afterburners engaged! Sheeez!

Yeah we're all a bunch of horndogs at our youngage so I somewhat understand :yes 

I'd never expect a relationship to go that fast (and i'm a guy) - though I guess it depends on the girl really...and the guy too I suppose. I'm not -that- aggressive so my girl would probably smack me upside the head 5 months and say 'the hell is taking you so long to make a move? We're still at 1st base, wakeup' :lol


----------



## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*



aviator99 said:


> opcorn
> 
> I am now ordering opcorn by the pallet.
> 
> ...


one night stands exist somehow when you've only just met the person. So 5 dates isnt that long if you think about it.


----------



## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

*Re: re: 2nd Base*



aviator99 said:


> I'd never expect a relationship to go that fast (and i'm a guy) - though I guess it depends on the girl really...and the guy too I suppose. I'm not -that- aggressive so my girl would probably smack me upside the head 5 months and say 'the hell is taking you so long to make a move? We're still at 1st base, wakeup' :lol


Aviator, I was worried he was moving too fast at first, and when a friend brought up the idea of "sex" I was like NEVER! Or at least not for a very long while. A month later my views have changed. I used to think sex was very serious, and grown-up, but SURPRISE SURPRISE--horny teens (well, he's turning 21 in July) can have it too!
I don't know if this is fast or not 'cause I have only my two friends to compare it to and I think their boyfriends moved verrrrrrrry slow. Oh well, it works for me. (btw, I'm looking at birth control, but I don't plan on giving it up for another month or two. I just want to be prepared.)

(In fact, one of the things he said he loved about me was that I take things so _slow _and don't "rush into sex". He had some interesting girlfriends before me...)



IcedOver said:


> Well thank you for the clarification. I just wasn't sure about the "way things are done". If you don't mind my asking, have you hit a mutual "home run" yet? At any rate, it sounds like you're having fun and I hope that you continue to have fun and come out of your shell. I assume you have SA and it's good that you're connecting with someone.


No home run. I think it'd be too soon, although I crazy about this guy and I feel he'd be fine to lose it to. I just want to give the relationship more time. I did have SA, but a year of therapy, a change in environment (going to college), and lots of practice have done wonders.


----------



## aviator99 (Nov 23, 2006)

True. See with the girls i'd likely be (or want to be) in relationships with, I wouldn't push anything. If they made the move, ok, play ball. Otherwise, i'd lay low for a while on anything past first base. Thats kind of what I was referencing (in that case, 5 dates in an ongoing relationship almost to home plate would be a bit fast in my opinion).

I (of course) have heard of one night stands - thats obviously different. Its not a one night stand if it takes 5 dates, lol. From a guys point of view, you have to ask yourself whether you're looking for a fling, one night stand, or relationship (hopefully for the long one), or what when you spot someone attractive. Its possible to have those evolve into relationships and such. Flings, ehh, 1-3 dates or so, yeah about time to go all the way. One nighter - Same night. Relationships, if thats what a guy would be looking for, I dont think the guy should push anything. Let the girl make the first move in a relationship if you're hoping for something in the long run. So thats all I was saying - for a relationship I was like 'Man thats fast!', is Date 9 marriage? lol 

Just my opinion of course  If you're o-k with what your boyfriend is doing, nothing at all wrong with that.


----------



## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

Yep, all you're saying makes sense, Aviator, and when i take a step back and look at the numbers I think "wow, that's fast". It's just chemistry, man. the two guys I dated before John were much slower. I dunno what happened with John. I met him and sparks flew--both with personality and the physical aspects.


----------



## free thinker (Nov 11, 2003)

aviator99 said:


> From a guys point of view, you have to ask yourself whether you're looking for a fling, one night stand, or relationship (hopefully for the long one), or what when you spot someone attractive. Its possible to have those evolve into relationships and such. Flings, ehh, 1-3 dates or so, yeah about time to go all the way.


Some guys date a girl for months just to get what they want. Then once they've gone all the way he dumps her and breaks her heart. Many a young woman have learned this the hard way. NightinGale, hopefully this guy actually cares more about you and less about the sex.


----------



## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

That's so disgusting. I don't know why it still amazes me how heartless some people can be.


----------



## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

free thinker said:


> Some guys date a girl for months just to get what they want. Then once they've gone all the way he dumps her and breaks her heart. Many a young woman have learned this the hard way. NightinGale, hopefully this guy actually cares more about you and less about the sex.


I've never been so sure about a relationship in my life  
Not to say that it'll last forever, but I know he cares for me and is not with me for purely sexual reasons (although I'd be lying if I didn't say that our physical connection is not an important part of our relationship). If we break up in a few months, than it happens.

I'll keep y'all posted either way, no matter what happens.

But for the record: John treats me so well and doesn't push me to do anything, does not expect anything from me, does everything for me, and is such a nice guy, I feel so lucky to have him.


----------



## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

NightinGale said:


> I've never been so sure about a relationship in my life
> Not to say that it'll last forever, but I know he cares for me and is not with me for purely sexual reasons (although I'd be lying if I didn't say that our physical connection is not an important part of our relationship). If we break up in a few months, than it happens.


Ah, how quickly life changes! He broke up with me today. He said that he felt guilty about the things we do sexually because I'm a virgin and he believes that I could find a guy more compatible with me. He also said he's not able to be in a relationship right now (which is what he said when we first started dating, but we got into one anyways). And he's leaving for the summer so yeah...it happens. I'm upset to a certain extent, but **** happens. I really liked him, but at least I never got the chance to love him so it doesn't hurt so bad.

*Oh, and for the record: I don't regret a single thing.


----------



## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Sorry to hear that, but at least you got some experience out of it. I'm glad you're ok, well you seem ok.


----------



## mranonhello (Nov 13, 2003)

Wow at how fast things change and at your positive attitude about them.


----------



## skeeter31 (Dec 9, 2006)

Aw, I'm sorry it didn't work out...I went through a similar situation a couple of months ago with my ex-girlfriend (just minus the sexual part, lol) and I wound up meeting someone soooo much better a couple of weeks afterwards, and we've been together since. So, keep your head up and know that something better is usually right around the corner! :hug


----------



## AnxiousSappho (May 20, 2012)

free thinker said:


> Actually, before the 1980s fellatio was considered to be the ultimate experience, definitely beyond a home run. Back then, many women including married women, were unwilling to do it because they viewed it as filthy or degrading. Men used to go to prostitutes simply because their mates wouldn't perform oral sex. It just goes to show you how much things have changed in the past few decades.:mum


Yes, and not only are the youngins giving out the f/c, but an awful lot of women under 25 consider themselves "bisexual." It's enough to turn a middle-aged lesbian into a cougar.
:um


----------

