# Phobia of asking a question



## defoe (Jan 31, 2010)

i definetly have it !!

allways when i have to ask sb. a question which can turn out to be very vital, i tend to become anxious...
aspecially when i ask my parents somehthing (this may sound weird)

but i keep thinking about the question over and over again, and also i allways question if its the right time i can ask the question to my mam...

every time i want to attempt to ask her a question, i wonder if its a bad time to ask it, or im anxious about the answer being bad

so i keep walking in circles, and my heart starts beating faster, every time i tell myself, that now is the time to ask the question


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## Arbor (Jun 17, 2009)

If I ask a real question and they don't respond jovially I often think "well there I must have offended them." I often put on a front of humor to handle negative reactions so I tend to ask silly questions instead.

I've gotten better at appearing humble to people when I'm asking real questions. Oddly, by being more ok with seeming like a fool instead of accepting that I'm not foolish. That must be my individual route.


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## kate313 (Sep 1, 2010)

hi, i am on the same loop, the only thing i know that if a question pups up and i need to ask it, i better wait till i feel calmer to ask it, than i am getting better respond, thanks for sherring


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## kate313 (Sep 1, 2010)

Hi, Arbor, this is so weard and u r absolutely right, that if I ask a "real" question it always appears so stupid, what is the point of asking a question than... That's funny. Thanks


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## EmptyRoom (Jul 28, 2010)

Asking questions is part of s.a for me, so I don't ask any at all.
Unfortunately it's taking a toll on my learning ._.


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## Lets Beat Social Anxiety (Jul 12, 2010)

Hey Defoe

Asking a question is an anxiety provoking situation for a few reasons. I'll outline the ones I know about:

1. Your mind wonders how the person you are asking might judge you, because of this question. 

For example if you ask something that you feel you should know the answer to already, you might worry that this person will think you're not very clever, and therefore will think badly of you. The fear of them thinking badly of you creates the anxiety.

2. When you ask a question, you know that the focus of attention will be onto you from the person answering. This can make you feel really self conscious, which also creates anxiety.

To get rid of the anxiety involved in asking questions, I think there's 2 things you can do. 

First, realise that everyone asks stupid questions every so often. A popular and intelligent girl in my class back in school once asked in a geography lesson: "Is Africa a country?" Everyone asks stupid questions, so there's nothing to fear about asking the wrong question. Just tell yourself that, if you get criticised for your question, that the person you asked the question to, will have asked something stupid before, so they'll understand.

Second, try to focus your attention on the person who you are asking the question to. Do everything you can to avoid focusing your mind onto you. Notice what this person is wearing, what you think about it, think about whether the room you're in is hot or cold, are there any smells you can notice...just look for stuff in the environment that will help you take your focus off of yourself. Watch the person you're asking go through the processes of thinking about what to say. Imagine how their brain is working as they answer you. Just anything but self-focus. This takes time to achieve, so stick at it. 

P.S. Was good to see Spurs will their champions league tie. Will be interesting to see how they get on.


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