# How do you cope with roommates/flatmates?



## vienna812 (Feb 28, 2013)

I find living with people almost impossible. I can't relax unless they are out, even then I'm worrying about when they will come back. 

Does anyone else share? How do you cope?


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## pukehappyness (Dec 5, 2012)

For me it wasnt as much that I can't live with people, it's us just being living acquaintances. I mean, I have gone random roommates every year and so far only one year was good.

I had that issue my second year, but we had our own rooms so I just stayed in my room. Rarely went to the common area unless for food or water.

What is making you not being able to relax when they are there?


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## vienna812 (Feb 28, 2013)

I think it's completely irrational. He often studies in our shared living room/kitchen so I don't want to disturb him to eat. Also, when he's not studying he has friends over. I don't know these people and I'm always really awkward so I try to keep my distance.


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## Reckoner7 (Jan 29, 2007)

vienna812 said:


> I think it's completely irrational. He often studies in our shared living room/kitchen so I don't want to disturb him to eat. Also, when he's not studying he has friends over. I don't know these people and I'm always really awkward so I try to keep my distance.


I haven't shared with people for years but this is how I felt when I did at university. I felt like i was disturbing people even if i was going to the kitchen to make something to eat when they were there chatting to someone else. 
I never did but now I wish I was stronger and basically not give a toss about what they thought and did my own thing. I lived there too so I shouldn't have to wait for them to go before I can make something to eat or watch tv in the living room only if they were not in there. Easier said than done though.
Would living with someone else feel easier or do you feel you would be the same regardless of who you shared with?


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## .95596 (Aug 24, 2012)

I just prefer avoidance. I usually just leave the room early in the morning since no one is awake and I can get ready without any one bothering me. I bring everything I need with me and then I return at night when they aren't there so I can take a shower and seclude myself in my own room to study/do homework.

It works out pretty nicely since I am pretty busy and have little time to chat with my roommates. Besides, I really don't feel like socially interacting when I am in my room because I really just want to unwind and have a bit of peace and quiet after a long day. 

If they ever ask why they never see me I just say I am busy because I really am with honours/graduation/grad school apps/grading papers/quizzes/etc. 

One of my roommates always has his theatre troupe over at night so I really can't deal with that lot of people, so I understand your feeling awkward around anyone new coming into your dorm room.


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## Nono441 (May 14, 2012)

How I cope with that? I don't need to. Living at home during uni. At least you have flatmate :|


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## phillyy (Mar 6, 2013)

Last year I was in a dorm with two other girls who ended up becoming best friends. I was sort of the third wheel and I just kind of did my own thing. They were both always friendly with me, but we rarely ever spoke. Sometimes I would ask them how their day was just to be nice but I would just zone them out lol. They were kind of messy and would leave their clothes everywhere but I only came to the room to sleep so it didn't really bother me. This year I live in a single by myself. All of my hall mates are also introverted and shy. I prefer living alone but unfortunately it's not an option for me next year unless I want to be an RA which won't happen lol. Next year I have to live on an on-campus apartment with 3 other people. I selected random so we'll see how it goes.


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## Miyu (Mar 10, 2013)

eeh, so ... I'm living in some kind of a crossover between student rooms (dorm?) and a hostel, which means that all the time during the school year there are students there, as well as exchange students and tourists (mostly students) ... I have my own room, I share bathroom with person next door ... and I share the kitchen with WHOLE FLOOR.

which is really really damn awkward ... I never go to the kitchen, whenever I can hear someone there. I always like lurk around, since if I look around the corner outside my room, I can see if there's anyone in the kitchen ... and if there are, I close the door and listen for some time, when they go away, I go to the kitchen and make myself dinner, lunch, whatever. and yeah, sometimes when groups of tourists (students) come ... they love to make themselves comfortable in the kitchen (there is a sofa and an armchair) ... and get drunk and get loud ... I've missed out on quite a share of dinners, when this happened in the evenings, because I absolutely don't DARE going to the kitchen, whenever there's someone. and if anyone comes, while i'm preparing my meal, I instantly get this frightened look on my face ... they usually leave quickly.

next year I'd absolutely love to live alone in my own flat ... because it certainly does get tiring.


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