# Has anyone ever had a crush on you?



## Pennywise (Aug 18, 2011)

Has anyone ever liked you despite your being shy, or actually because of it?


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## purplefruit (Jan 11, 2011)

There is a guy right now I think he _might _like me. He compliments me a lot and calls/texts me. And he has complimented my appearance, being the first person ever to do so. But no, no one has had a crush on me before, so I don't even know what the signals would be. This guy might just really want to be my friend, idek.


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## Innamorata (Sep 20, 2011)

Quite a few, although mainly online so I don't think the shyness comes into it. I have had guys tell me that they think it's cute though. Blushing seems to go down well.


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

I've suspected a few, but I can never really tell if they were just being nice.

I'm almost always seen as a friend, apparently.


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## leave me alone (Apr 1, 2011)

Only one that i am aware of, when i was 14 years old :lol

(Not counting the relationships)


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## Dead Leaves (Aug 20, 2011)

Surprisingly, yes.

It's flattering, but also massively depressing. There's no way these girls would like me if they _really_ knew me, so why bother?



Pennywise said:


> Has anyone ever liked you despite your being shy, *or actually because of it?*


I'd say its definitely a factor. If I was in the habit of speaking all the time, very few people would like me.


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## CaptainRoommate (Aug 15, 2011)

In school some of the more outgoing girls took an interest because I didn't talk much, and they just had to figure me out. Only a few ended up with any romantic interest, and some got bored. One girl did ask me out when I was thirteen, but I said no, and for the next five years she pretended she didn't know me. So, yeah.


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## JenN2791 (Aug 21, 2011)

Yah a few... it was clear they just wanted sex though :\


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

Yes, but unfortunately the feelings weren't mutual.


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## Haunty (Oct 24, 2008)

No one has ever told me outright, but I have suspected a few when I was in school. 

For example in 9th grade, someone told me this girl wanted to go to the dance with me. If it wasn't for my anxiety I might have. 

Also in 10th grade, this outgoing girl and her guy friends sat next to me at lunch and started talking to me and hinting that we should go out, and her guy friends were helping her out, but it was so nerve racking and weird to me that I didn't know if they were serious or just playing with me. I couldn't say anything but answer her questions. She seemed friendly and nice, but her two guy friends there intimidated me more. Eventually she said goodbye and left the table.


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## David1976 (Nov 8, 2003)

Just one that I knew of..


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## BlazingLazer (Jul 16, 2011)

Yeah, most likely.

But seeing though as I am male, females will see to it that they will deny you the pleasure of EVER knowing for sure. But I could still tell 

Also, I've haven't heard of having a "crush" on me. It's more like they just had quite a thing for me. Either way, it's all cool.


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## whiterabbit (Jan 20, 2006)

Yeah, I suppose so. It's such a weird thought though. 

I don't know whether my shyness had anything to do with it, but shyness is about the only part of my personality that others see so it probably did.


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## Fantas Eyes (Mar 23, 2011)

I'm pretty sure 2 guys did. Also, I'm dating someone right now so he probably likes me.


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## Elleire (Jul 24, 2011)

I was in a relationship once, so I certainly hope he liked me. Not sure if that counts or not though. If it doesn't, then no.


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## Resonance (Feb 11, 2010)

Pennywise said:


> Has anyone ever liked you despite your being shy, or actually because of it?


Yeah, this girl liked me on and off over a period of 9-10 years, I kinda liked her too and so eventually I went out with her. But I had SA and she was socially akward and somewhat weird and it was a total disaster that lasted less than 3 months, but there you go.


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

More than a couple of times, actually. Yet somehow I still refuse to believe that any girl could ever be attracted to me. Go figure.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

Maybe? They said they liked me. I don't know about crushes tho. I think this guy did but I felt horrible for ignoring him. I was shy and all. Now he's gotten really good looking lol


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## ratbag (Aug 2, 2009)

In school, I was boring, quiet, depressive, avoidant and I didn't have much of an appearance, but some guys liked me. I thought they were weird or desperate.


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## GunnyHighway (Sep 28, 2010)

Once? She doesn't talk to me any more due to having a boyfriend who despises me, so I guess that doesn't really matter. Can't think of any others though, unless there's somebody on here I don't know about.


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## blue the puppy (Jul 23, 2011)

yep .. never happened in jr. high or high school (at least not to my knowledge) .. i felt pretty invisible to guys back then .. but ive had guys have crushes on me since then .. i guess my bf would be the most obvious example, haha .. but there's been others too .. it is flattering, especially when i know they like me in spite of my "issues"


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

Nope, there is no reason why someone would have a crush on me.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Yeah a couple of times over the years. I never really did anything about it because I was too shy and antisocial though. Actually this one person whom I used to have a crush on for most of high school told me he had a crush on me and asked me out after I'd already grown out of it and was in a relationship. Go figure. :\


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

when I was in school....the type of boys who had crushes on me were blonde haired fair skinned guys which has never been my type since the day I was born...brunette men never take a liking to me =(


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## loquaciousintrovert (May 23, 2011)

Other than my (creepy, repulsive) stalker, nobody.


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## anonymid (Oct 16, 2005)

A couple at least, but only people who got to know me online first. I've never been crushed on in "real life," as far as I know.


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## Perkins (Dec 14, 2010)

I've had a couple people come out and told me they liked me, but their admiration never lasted long. I've also suspected others, but you know, mixed signals are hard to read.

Usually I'm just seen as a friend. Maybe even as a sibling.


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## gomenne (Oct 3, 2009)

That never happened, ever.
I dont see a reason for a guy to like me or develop a crush on me.


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## equiiaddict (Jun 27, 2006)

Yeah, for some reason a lot of guys have. I don't really do anything to draw attention to myself so I can't explain it. It gets annoying though, especially when they know you have a boyfriend and they try to get you to hook up with them anyway... :no


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## humourless (Sep 27, 2011)

Pennywise said:


> Has anyone ever liked you despite your being shy, or actually because of it?


Yeah but it didn't last long because they came to their senses and realised I was just an illusion...which is a shame because they were kind of cute


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## Gorillaz (Jul 13, 2010)

Nothing really for me post SA. Maybe some girls like me at first impression at a party or something, but it's never gotten past that.


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## Xande (Jul 18, 2011)

Yup, but hasn't happened for 5 years as far as I know of. 

I pushed them away with my crappy personality or just didn't take advantage of the situation when I had the chance. I've always failed at taking advantage of opportunities.


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## loquaciousintrovert (May 23, 2011)

JennaMarie said:


> Yeah, for some reason a lot of guys have. I don't really do anything to draw attention to myself so I can't explain it. It gets annoying though, especially when they know you have a boyfriend and they try to get you to hook up with them anyway... :no


-_-


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## humourless (Sep 27, 2011)

Xande said:


> Yup, but hasn't happened for 5 years as far as I know of.
> 
> I pushed them away with my crappy personality or just didn't take advantage of the situation when I had the chance. I've always failed at taking advantage of opportunities.


That self-talk sounds familiar.......I feel sorry for you if you have to listen to a voice like that all day every day....
Let's meake a deal..........
If you stop listening to your negative voice, I'll stop listening to mine...OK?


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## Marakunda (Jun 7, 2011)

A long time ago, when I wasn't "shy", yes...

I remember this girl chased me around and tried to kiss me, naturally I ran away. She actually pulled my pants down one day, lol, that was embarrassing. That was in 1st grade....

And another girl had a MASSIVE crush on me in 4th grade, I remember her friend used to try to "set us up" and bug her about it...

But I wanted nothing to do with em, if only I knew where I would be in a few years time. *sigh*


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## barczyl (May 10, 2011)

I would have to say yes, but usually when I'm told about it. There is the odd time I can pick up on it myself, but usually I don't have a clue about them having a crush on me.


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## Knowbody (Jul 5, 2011)

I've had females give me their numbers as a teenager only for me to eventually go home and tear them up.


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## sas111 (Oct 20, 2010)

You know when someone gives you this warm, gentle, comforting smile from across the room & you think "Could he/she possibly like me?" , then you see him give the same exact look to the girl sitting a few desks away. Then you feel like a pathetic, despirate little girl/boy who gets a silly high off of anyone who shows the least little interest in you.

Yeah, I think someone has crushed on me. The next person was just a better pick. The mysterious, shy girl suddenly & quickly becomes blan, lifeless & easy to get over.


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## Neutrino (Apr 11, 2011)

When I was seven a boy told me he liked me :3 that was pleasant. Actually no it wasn't XD


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## scooby (Jun 24, 2009)

Back when I was in school there was a couple over the years.


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## Dan iel (Feb 13, 2011)

I think someone liked me in school, and I guess my ex did.

Other than that, no one.


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## beshino (Feb 19, 2011)

Yes...... That's all I have to say. Funny thing is though that the only thing that comes from it is that I just get massively embarrassed. In the place I'm in right now it doesn't feel like I can do anything about it anyway.


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## Charizard (Feb 16, 2011)

Yes, a few people actually.


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## lov3np3ac3 (Aug 15, 2011)

I'm not sure.. most likely no.


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## lonely metalhead (Apr 22, 2011)

Id like to think someone does. I doubt it though


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

I've never received the slightest indication that a girl likes me.


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## jg43i9jghy0t4555 (Jul 31, 2011)

recently yes, mostly for appearing to be a dark, lonely person though. so it doesn't really count.


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## CourtneyB (Jul 31, 2010)

Yes, they have.


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## trendyfool (Apr 11, 2010)

Yeah a couple people. I wasn't attracted to them in the least though :3


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## forex (Dec 29, 2010)

there was one "i think", well the boys were toying with here stuff so one guy picked up here agenda and she was like "give it back" , he of course was looking to see what is written (girly stuff) WELL one page had my contact info +phone number in it ...he showed it to me and i didn't know what to say ..i was like "okeyyyy" i saw here getting a freaking out face like OMG ..........

but the next day i did like nothing happened...


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## Cheesecake (Feb 2, 2007)

I doubt it.


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## Xande (Jul 18, 2011)

humourless said:


> That self-talk sounds familiar.......I feel sorry for you if you have to listen to a voice like that all day every day....
> Let's meake a deal..........
> If you stop listening to your negative voice, I'll stop listening to mine...OK?


haha i'm trying. Past the second lesson of Moodgym (online CBT course) so that is one of my hw assignments. Haha, this online course gave me a hw assignment before my current therapist.

But yeah that's pretty much my depression speaking. And funny thing is it's actually now stable :|


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## stupiditytries (Jan 10, 2011)

The last time I could tell was when I was 15. I didn't do **** about it, of course.

EDIT: After reading your question - Speaking for myself, I'm 99.9% positive no one is going to like me as long as I have SA. Girls liked me when my SA was not as severe.


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## a degree of freedom (Sep 28, 2011)

No idea. I don't think I'd ever know they didn't just kind of like me is all, though to be fair I could have my suspicions.



Vanilllabb said:


> You know when someone gives you this warm, gentle, comforting smile from across the room & you think "Could he/she possibly like me?" , then you see him give the same exact look to the girl sitting a few desks away. Then you feel like a pathetic, despirate little girl/boy who gets a silly high off of anyone who shows the least little interest in you.


Yep, know the feeling!

I also feel pretty lame for how I try to get someone's attention because I think they're cute, to then play it off like it's the same thing I do to everyone ... :roll


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

A crush? Hm now that would be nice. I don't think I've had an obvious one since middle school.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

I've never had anyone tell me they have a crush on me or find me attractive. The closest I've ever gotten to that was over twenty years ago in middle school, when someone told me that a girl thought I was cute. The girl they were talking about wasn't a little witch like some who feign being attracted to a guy just to make fun of him (that happened to me), but a "nice girl". However, I never asked the girl about it.


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## YesandNo (Aug 29, 2011)

Nope, I was home-schooled for high school so I really didn't have many opportunities to be "crushed" on. At work I work with mostly older people so no opportunities there either. There has been a few guys that made me wounder if possibly they had a crush on me. Usually I just assume they're just really nice guys. I all ways think to myself "Why would he like _me_?" Those word are poison I know, but I cant help it I honestly have no confidence what so ever.


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## LeftyFretz (Feb 12, 2011)

Haha yeah.


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## Cat Montgomery (Jul 31, 2011)

Nope
I dont blame them honestly


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## mysterioussoul (Jul 17, 2010)

no, i really don't think so.


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## Lyrical Lonely (Oct 5, 2011)

Several.


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## solasum (Nov 17, 2008)

Yes, but I didn't like most of them. I still wonder about one of them who later became a gay goth.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

How does it feel when someone has a crush on you? With someone you do actually like, and or someone you do not?


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## Dead Leaves (Aug 20, 2011)

rdrr said:


> How does it feel when someone has a crush on you? With someone you do actually like, and or someone you do not?


I actually cut a lot out of my original post after becoming self-conscious about rambling when nobody else was being as analytical. But I think this sums it up nicely:

I usually idealize them and never make a move. So, to answer your question, miserable.


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## Stilla (May 13, 2009)

Yesss.
And I think me being shy was a part of it... or 'being mysterious' like one of them said. Which annoys the hell out of me...


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## GioUK (Sep 26, 2011)

no, not that im aware of anyway


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## lad (Sep 26, 2011)

Yes back when I was younger though, now I wouldn't even realise to be honest.


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## Ballerina (Jul 14, 2011)

One time it totally looked like someone was waving at me, but he was waving at the girl sitting behind me. That's getting close, though. Everything's coming up Milhouse!


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

Yes, for some reason...


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## ThisGuy (Jul 13, 2010)

When I was much younger. Not so much these days, however.


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## Ununderstood (Jun 8, 2005)

Not recently, not that I know of at least. Would be nice to know if I do though, it would help the confidence a bit.


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## xTKsaucex (Jun 23, 2010)

yes, in the past, and I feel like slapping myself with a fish for not saying yes now.


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## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

Yes, but none lately, I'd have to actually be around people for that to happen.


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## Eia Au (Jul 13, 2010)

I think people are initially physically attracted to me but its short lived after they talk to me and realize that I am so shy.


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

Amocholes has a crush on me. 


I am still considering it........


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## Pennywise (Aug 18, 2011)

Gorillaz said:


> Nothing really for me post SA. Maybe some girls like me at first impression at a party or something, but it's never gotten past that.


I know what you mean. I was at a Fourth of July party in 2010 (against my will), and was sitting in a corner at an empty table. After a while, my brother came over to me and told me that a girl at the party wanted to talk to me. But, of course, I just stayed at the table until we left. Luckily she didn't come over; I wouldn't have known what to do or say.


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## hoddesdon (Jul 28, 2011)

Yes.


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## Ohnoes2191 (Aug 26, 2011)

Oh yeah lol. Many guys have told me that I was such a mystery, which is why they just really wanted to get to know me and figure me out. Also they loved my shyness and kindness. Who said shy people can't be loved? ^__^


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## rgrwng (Aug 25, 2011)

i have not had that experience, yet. i think the only peoiple watching me is Big Brother, to make sure i do not do anything to jeopardize the government.


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## Nyx (Nov 17, 2003)

A guy once told me he loved me and I fell asleep because I'm awesome like that. I would have had more coffee that day if I'd known that was going to be the sole romantic moment of my life.


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## vero (Oct 7, 2011)

The most outgoing guy I know likes me, hes told me several times. He said he liked me because of my shyness, but i dont see why. I don't ever talk and I feel so out of the loop. I like him back, but because of me being extremly shy, I dont see how anything's ever gonna work for me.


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## nkprasad12 (Aug 27, 2011)

Nope. It's possible I didn't know about it but I really doubt it.


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## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

The first guy to like me was in 6th grade. He was a short, toe-head kid with stained teeth. He was very sweet. He put chocolates in my locker, and even slipped a lollipop valentine in my hand while i was not looking. I went to a dance alone and I think that's when I told him I didn't have feelings for him. I remember once he freaked out because i didn't untuck my hair from my sweater, and he thought i had cut my hair short, lol. it was nice to be liked. it's unfortunate I didn't like him back. I hope he's a badass now. He deserves it.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

VanDamMan said:


> Amocholes has a crush on me.
> 
> I am still considering it........


What's there to consider ? :yes



Nyx said:


> A guy once told me he loved me and I fell asleep because I'm awesome like that. I would have had more coffee that day if I'd known that was going to be the sole romantic moment of my life.


lol, that sounds like something I would do.

I've had a few girls who had a crush on me. There are two girls at uni at the moment who even to my incredibly dense sensibilities seem to be. The only problem being I have no romantic feelings for one, and the other I can't see myself with. She's incredibly cute, intelligent and geeky mushy) but also has more balls than most guys :um Basically this ended up with her very aggressively trying to get to know me, my SA then started flaring up like a bonfire and subsequently I started avoiding her.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

I don't know. There is this girl that was very nice to me a couple years ago, sent me a valentine's text, complimented my appearance a few times and showed a fair amount of interest in starting conversations with me. Could've been a crush.

Apart from that, I don't think so.


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## youngmoney (Oct 6, 2011)

Yes. Quite a few.

YM


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## whymee (Oct 11, 2011)

yes but she was not normal :|


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## cafune (Jan 11, 2011)

Hmmm. Yeah, I have no idea why... but there are two that I can be sure of and a couple that I can only guess at.


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## mrbojangles (Oct 8, 2009)

Surprisingly yes! I even had a stalker at one point.


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## ladofmad (Apr 14, 2011)

One in elementary school, which doesn't mean anything, and another one in highschool, but I wasn't attracted to her so that didn't work out.


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## anonymous soul (Sep 8, 2011)

No..

Not that I ever knew about.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

Idk about crushes but there were a few chicks back in school who were attracted to me. One was being suggestive by standing one foot from my face while I was sitting down. I was also told this girl was sexually attracted to me by her friend. Another girl told me she loved me and tried to grab onto my jumper. Another girl told me her friend wanted to make love to me. I went up to this girl and said hello and she started giggling from embarrassment. I once saw this girl in my class who was just staring at me with a lustful look on her face like she wanted me to give it to her.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

There are only 2 reasons people ever talk to me. The most frequent is they need me to answer their questions or their homework. The other is they want a ****. People approaching out of desire for friendship without these other reasons is negligible.


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## jonesy852 (Oct 12, 2011)

Yes. She brought me over to her house the last day of my senior year of high school and was giving me major hints that she wanted to have sex with me, like showing me where she kept her condoms and telling me she was really horny and didn't know why. I didn't know how to react so I freaked out and left.


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## leave me alone (Apr 1, 2011)

jonesy852 said:


> Yes. She brought me over to her house the last day of my senior year of high school and was giving me major hints that she wanted to have sex with me, like showing me where she kept her condoms and telling me she was really horny and didn't know why. I didn't know how to react so I freaked out and left.


:lol sounds like something i would do


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## Santesyu (Oct 13, 2011)

werid about this topic, it seems like every girl that has/had a crush on me I didn't like like that, even worse they was friends so when I told them I wasn't in to them like that, things wasn't the same.


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## mrmarc (Jul 10, 2011)

Eh once lol, ended badly and was extremely embarrassing for the pair of us.
I literally couldnt go any where with out her turning up, kinda scared me a lil ;-;


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

Not that I know of. It's possible though, but I'd never know because most people don't talk to me.


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## march_hare (Jan 18, 2006)

Hm I don't think anyone's actually told me that they had a crush on me, except when I was about 8 or something 
I suspect one or two in the last 5 years or so. One guy that I was convinced liked me a lot and I liked a lot too (secretly) I recently found out now has a boyfriend hahahahaha. Guess he could be bisexual..


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## Snow Bunny (Jan 28, 2009)

No. I don't see why anyone would.


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

Yeah a few. I either wasnt interested in them or the ones i was interested in gave up on me because i was too shy/quiet/awkward/weird....etc.


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## Tommmy (Oct 13, 2011)

Pretty much the only compliment I can give myself is that I'm not that bad looking, I've had quite a few people 'ask me out', not sure if that's really an acceptable term post-school years but ah well. Lately though I've been far too nervous to say yes, and have turned a few people down, I just don't think they'd like me once they got to actually know me.

Always upsets me though, since it makes them feel bad so then I feel really bad too.


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## ThatKidTotallyRocks (Oct 11, 2011)

Only one that actually persisted for years, and he was a horribly mean person and very controlling. I was actually scared of him, so I had to repeatedly refuse him. It was very stressful for me to do, but I was as persistent in refusing him as he was in pursuing me. He eventually moved thousands of miles away. Before he left though, in a last attempt to make me miserable, he had a talk with all the guys he knew were interested in me and told them to back off and that I was his. Told you he is a jerk. So, all of those other crushes have vanished and I really liked one of them. But, he also moved far away.


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## Ashley1990 (Aug 27, 2011)

Ya many but I count only four coz they seemed geniune..


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## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

A few girls have expressed interest in me, but I wouldn't describe any of that as a crush.


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## secreta (Oct 15, 2011)

No and I know very well why not.


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## Beyond Infinity (Jul 16, 2009)

A couple, but never the ones I liked back, so may as well be none.


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## Marlon (Jun 27, 2011)

Yes, maybe like 3-5. Only a couple of them have admitted to having crushes on me. Another girl obviously had a crush on me because she nonstop flirted with me during class. The rest I believe had crushes on me, but I don't know for certain. This was all back in high school.


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## GunnyHighway (Sep 28, 2010)

I think I said there was one before, but I'm pretty sure it's actually zero now that I think of it...


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## wolfsaber (May 1, 2011)

I've told that someone has crush one me several times at elementary age. It's unlikely from there afterwards since I am easily overlooked. I pity whoever does. Most likely, the "mysterious" one perhaps of silent turns out to be unremarkable. Disappointments would ensue.


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## memoriez (Oct 3, 2011)

i think everyone has a secret admirer out there. though depends on their ajenda... i've had cougars (and young females) give me those signals... if i was bold, i would be having a few friends with benefits... 

also, there was this girl who always wanted to be my girlfriend since like 10 yrs old all the way up to high school. i remember her going to my house all of the time... actually she was the girl who kissed me on the cheeck for the first time in a dark room. she told me her mom would hit her if she was to find out that she had kissed a boy in the mouth. i was like around 10-11... i believe....


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

Yes, but no one I was ever interested in.


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## TrcyMcgrdy1 (Oct 21, 2011)

I had a couple girls in highschool like me but I was too shy and dint rly persue it. One was too good fo a friend so id idnt feel comfortable. The other is now a pretty hot babe. Shoulda done smething bout it.


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## Boring Loser (Oct 21, 2011)

Yeah. But no one I ever felt that way about. (that i know of)


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## Mason (Oct 22, 2011)

Two girls who I've known for sure. Sadly one lives in Ecuador and the other several hundred miles away.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

Yes, and it was heartbreaking.


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## GodlessVegan (Oct 21, 2011)

Shockingly, Yes. 
I've had 3 PEOPLE ask me out in the past 3 years (2 girls and 1 guy). It can't possibly be my personality (or lack of it) so it must be my looks, although I don't consider myself attractive at all.

Anyways, I dated two of them (a girl and a guy, although I am gay) but soon after we'd start dating, they'd find out about my anxiety and quickly break of the relatioship, saying that they want somebody more romantic and assertive. 

I didn't date the third one and rejected her pretty harshly. She wrote a poem about me and read it IN FRONT OF THE CLASS! I laugh about it now but I was terrified while she was reading it in class, hoping nobody would know who she's talking about  I think she still has a crush on me to this day, which kinda boosts my self-esteem but at the same time I feel guilty about being so mean when I rejected her...


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## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

I've been asked out a couple of times by girls(through their friends of course) I wasn't interested in. Not sure if that's a crush or not.


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## Tugwahquah (Apr 13, 2011)

Yes. Currently I have 2 married men that have been hounding me like dogs for years at work. One of them is my bosses husband. If this wasn't such a small town community I would report them. I would probably lose my job, and have large clans of their families hating on me as well. My being rude to them does make the air pretty thick at work, but I'm a big girl I can handle myself. 

I also have a couple of 60 year old men that would love to be my sugar daddy, but I don't want to waste my life being their nursemaid. :no I don't suspect that there is anyone else. I keep to myself pretty much. I have guys that say hi to me often, but these 4 are the ones that continuously sniff around. I wouldn't date a man from around this small hick town anyway. Every family clan comes with its dramas. 

I met a internet boyfriend a while back. That was really a lot of happiness while it lasted. I miss the attention, and digital flowers and hugs everyday. Long distance relationships never last. :|


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## Skip_DJ (Jan 30, 2010)

A few times here and there, but the one I remember most was this girl who absolutely adored me. Seeing as I'm gay though, I could not return her feelings, and eventually I had to have a talk with her about it, telling her if I said what she wanted to hear, It'd only hurt her in the end....but she took it pretty well. We still talk to this day now and again.


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

I'd be amazed if they did


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## SicilianuAmericanu (Jul 6, 2011)

I don't anybody has, I'm too ugly. Plus I went to an all boys high school. If someone ever actually had one on me it might boost my self esteem, but I'd also think I'd be too worried about not trying to mess it up.

Hold up I take that back, there was one girl that I remember did like me that I met online, but I messed that up pretty fast. We were in high school at the time she lived like 40 minutes away by car but i didn't have car at the time so I never met her in real life. She was kind of a *****, a little crazy, and superficial, I end up getting this other girl that I met online to pretend to be my girlfriend and she told her to back off or whatever, it started this huge fight and we kind of broke up. She honestly scared the hell out of me, it was really hard talking to her. Now a days I'm so lonely that I wouldn't care if she was a crazy ***** I would still date her. I suppose what I learned from the experience is beggars can't be choosers.


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Yes, many, but probably only because of my looks >.< ive dated a few guys but they never lasted long. The ones who dumped me didn't like that I was shy or had walls up. My current bf now almost dumped me early on because I had walls up but I brought them down for him, he understands my SA though and won't leave me for that but its my fear he might one day.


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## Kuhle (Oct 29, 2011)

Yes, surprisingly. Two random people asked me out, and then one of my closest friends had asked me out several times. The first time he asked me out I tried dating him, but realized that I just couldn't handle a relationship. After that, I never went out with him again because we wanted different things from relationships. He's very clingy and needs reassurance in relationships while I'm the exact opposite.


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## kilgoretrout (Jul 20, 2011)

Pennywise said:


> Has anyone ever liked you despite your being shy, or actually because of it?


The most recent guy who had a "crush" on me was the son of a family friend (about 3 years ago). I am convinced he only "liked" me because my family basically gave him the idea that I liked him (which I didn't) and they even encouraged him to woo me. :roll


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## jtb3485 (Nov 9, 2003)

There was a girl I worked with about ten years ago who had a crush on me. It was easy to tell. She would get all flustered when talking to me and one time she even ran into a wall after talking to me. Too bad she was married...


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## Pialicious88 (Sep 23, 2009)

nope


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## Scarlet Tanager (Jun 17, 2011)

I think there were a couple guys, cuz they always started teasing me and spent lots of times geting their attention on me. It was flattering until they started to lose interest in me. :\


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## someguy8 (Sep 10, 2010)

Quite a few. I even had one who tried to make my life hell after i told her i didnt like her like that.


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## ForeverQuiet (Feb 27, 2011)

Yeah...but being me I pushed them away...


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

What was her name? I'm trying to stalk her on facebook, but I forget the names of her that crushed on me.


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## shana (Mar 9, 2009)

No, not that I know of.


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## fonz (Oct 15, 2008)

Nope. Don't think so


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## nycdude (Mar 20, 2010)

Yes, think so. 2 girls back in Elementary school. 1 girl in my small middle school. and about 4 in high school. Never talked to them  I should have spoken up.


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## It Happens (Oct 7, 2011)

I know of one for sure.

But I never had a crush on her. Sometimes I wish I had done something, but I know that it's just because I've never had anything else.


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## GaaraAgain (Oct 10, 2011)

Yeah, 2 guy friends in elementary school, a couple of girl friends in HS (I went to all girl school) and I think this girl I met over the summer. I always find this out way after the fact.


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## Ratatat (Sep 8, 2010)

I don't know if this really counts as a crush but a girl I was working with liked me and I didn't even realize it. I was told how she felt by another co-worker after she had already quit.


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

yes, lots


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## uhhhbrandon (Dec 21, 2010)

This girl in my senior year of HS would always talk to me just to make me blush. She would give me hugs and showed me pictures. Also, tried giving me her number. Ahhhhh ...


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## enzo (May 30, 2011)

In high school, yes a couple. And a couple recently as well. But I wasn't a shy person then or now. Don't think I've ever been. I'm just usually quiet and reserved, unless put in a position of leadership/authority. Which I loathe. When I learn that someone might be interested in me, a thousand thoughts roll through my head as to how quickly I'll disappoint them. Or how easily bored they'll be around me. Or how they will regret it. 

I've gotten to know two different girls online over the years. It's been awkward, but I think they were the closest I've gotten to anyone. But I question if that's a good or bad thing. The same thoughts usually roll through my head then as well.


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## rawfulz (Oct 14, 2011)

Twice I think. In 3rd grade this girl told me she liked me. I was too nervous to do anything about it. Later in middle school there was a girl who was both friendly and mean to me. I think it was her way of hiding her feelings. I didn't realize this until years later.


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## drowninglessons (Oct 31, 2011)

two that I know of, but it doesn't matter because they never evolved into anything. :b


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## hipolito (Sep 25, 2012)

well actually, there is somebody right now.
as I'm sure y'all can imagine... if somebody has ever liked me in the past, I would find a dozen reasons to believe it's all in my head (except for this creep in HS that was almost obsessed with me.. that one was obvious). but when it comes to real potential mates, well no one quite normal has ever approached me, but if somebody (like a stranger) does something small that might be a signal of... not a crush, but an interest, perhaps as they're walking by, well I dismiss it straight away. Which brings me to this.

I met somebody just over a week ago, this was during the first month of university ever. Well I was nervous as hell, and already accepted that no one would pair up with me. But then this guy approaches me, says "You're in my XXX class right?" and boom, from there, conversation ensues. 
strange thing about me I guess is that I can do better with someone that's a complete stranger than someone I know better (given that I like this someone enough to care about their opinion). with strangers, I know if it goes downhill, their opinion can't hurt me _as_ much as it would have had I had the opportunity to build respect for them. so I was doing okay talking to this guy (BTW he happens to be russian and I just so happen to have a crazy fetish for russians... plus he's very attractive), and so we go into our class together, sit next to each other, all that, and he says "seeya later". well I thought "yeah sure I'll see him later..." and turns out next class, as I'm waiting outside, he approaches me _again. _well now I'm nervous and I don't do as well talking to him this time, or in fact the next time I see him after that. I think about how I screwed up. but the time after _that, _he talks about my shyness and says all these things like how he wants me to be myself with him, and he _means _it. it wasn't just a platitude. And like I said about finding a dozen reasons to dismiss the possibility of anybody having a crush on me, well this guy is _so _my type, so you can imagine that I'd find a thousand+ reasons this time to believe _he _can't like me. but by this time he's actually made it so clear to me he's into me. I mean from the get-go he started telling me things about how pretty he thinks I am. and this word transitioned into "beautiful" and then how I'm funny, and for some reason he thinks I'm super smart, and then he called me "special" plus a whole bunch of synonyms for it... complimented my eyes, etc. Okay you get the picture. so I really can't find a way to convince myself he doesn't like me. And for the first time, there's this guy that I like that _likes me. _and he's the first guy that likes me that _I like _too_. _and I think he's done such a good job making me feel like it's okay to be myself, that knowing any of these things isn't making me that nervous. I cannot imagine a more ideal situation. somebody that I'm into but that's totally approachable and sensitive... (and _hot)._ 
now I'm just waiting for him to break my heart, but that comes later...


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Yes, but nowadays people just throw me aside because im never good enough.. never.


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

1 that im for sure of but like 5 or six possibles


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## Caduceus (May 21, 2012)

ImWeird does.


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## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

Not as far as I know.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Yeah a few, when I was switching schools this girl Denise came up to me and gave me a note before I left. It said that I was her first crush at that school and she had her number and myspace written on it ( back when myspace was cool lol ) I thought that was pretty cute. I never followed up on it though.


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## TheTruthIsOutThere (Apr 10, 2012)

Yeah a couple times


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## Melodies0fLife (Sep 17, 2012)

Yeah. I'm pretty sure many of the guys I know at one time or another had something for me... but I usually end up pushing them away with my cold and not interested vibes.


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## FireIsTheCleanser (Aug 16, 2011)

No people just think I'm too creepy. 

Well in 4th grade when I didn't really have SA, we had like these journal things and the teacher would give us a subject to write about everyday except on Friday when we could write something more personal like what hobbies we had and all that other junk. So there's my friend's cousin who wrote in her book that she liked me because I was funny and cute I think, and the teacher added that I was smart too, and she showed it to my best friend who sat next to her and he told me. Then she chased me across the playground at recess until I threw a guava at her.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Yeah. I don't why did they find my social awkwardness to be attractive :eek


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## brownzerg (Jan 8, 2012)

no, not that im aware of.

If they do they should just say something cause.. yeah =/


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## edhoo (Feb 15, 2011)

Yes but I was usually too oblivious to do anything lol


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## pastels (Sep 18, 2012)

yeah


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

In high school senior year, my best friend's younger sister had a huge crush on me. That was awkward. Eventually she just flat-out told me she liked me and wanted to dump her boyfriend for me... I just closed myself off because I was convinced she was tormenting me  I found out later she wasn't. I still kick myself.


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## MrQuiet76 (Aug 26, 2011)

there's no way in hell


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## Octal (Aug 2, 2011)

Twice. First by this girl from high school. I was too stupid to realise it then, thought she was annoying me on purpose. I was an idiot :b
The second is quite recent, a sas member actually. Its by far the better of the two crushes I have experienced


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## Marakunda (Jun 7, 2011)

Yep, some girl literally tried to rape me EVERY day when I was younger. 

True story.


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## WhoDey85 (Sep 6, 2006)

Yup. Two girls had a crush on me back in school. I starting going out with one of them, the other one got pissed and egged the girl's house who I was going out with. 

I actually had them fighting over me! I kid you not!


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## FireIsTheCleanser (Aug 16, 2011)

Marakunda said:


> Yep, some girl literally tried to rape me EVERY day when I was younger.
> 
> True story.


Oh wow that happened to me too! I was in a new elementary school and I was all quiet and stuff and this tomboy girl liked messing with the boys by saying stuff like they were gonna get married and stuff and me and this other guy were picked on more than the others and one time she tackled me to the ground during recess and basically... tried to rape me? Yeah something along those lines. I think she may have had a crush on me during middle school when we became friends.


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## Alas Babylon (Aug 28, 2012)

Yeah, there are two people with a crush on me currently/recently , one is a really outgoing extroverted girl, and the other is a gay acquaintance of mine. Both have made advances and asked me out. 
And being as retarded as I am, I awkwardly wormed my way out of both (on impulse, it's like a reflex) instead of outright rejecting either of them. Both of them keep trying to bring it up, talk to me more,etc. On the upside, two people are being exceptionally nice to me, but on the downside, I'm too intimidated/scared or the wrong sexuality to actually go out with them. 
My quietness probably has something to do with it, not many people know much about me, so I guess that kind of makes me more 'interesting' or something.


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## vanishingpt (Mar 9, 2012)

People have had crushes on me and whenever I found out, I'd always feel even more shy and distant so I'd act in a way to not give off any hints because I was worried about not knowing how to be a girlfriend/behave in a relationship


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## Neutrino (Apr 11, 2011)

Delete


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## Evo (Jan 1, 2012)

No


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

Evo said:


> No


? O_O


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

Yes


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

I guess someone does now .-.


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## Secretaz (Sep 10, 2011)

I don't think anyone has ever had a crush on me.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I think quite a few guys when I was living in Brazil and Japan. I could tell by the look in their eyes. Here.....no one really. Americans aren't attracted to me much at all. I'm just one of the bunch, nothing special.


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

A couple times, one was way back in year 4 or 5. She never came outright and told me but I could tell, she lived down the road and she always talked about my cat visiting her backyard. I still wonder what she is up to nowadays.

The second time was in high school, I believe the girl persuaded one of her friends to tell me or something like that, I ended up ignoring it though. Out of pure fear. :lol
I guess it is possible there were others, but I am blissfully unaware.


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## Tania I (Jul 22, 2012)

Just one. 
Others i don't believe they had a crush on me. 
...
..even that one i doubted too. So no.


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## DubnRun (Oct 29, 2011)

atleast 3 i can remember, but most you would probably never know of...


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

In high school there was this girl that im sure she liked me. She would not stop looking at me and she would try to be close to me. And she was hot too. But i was a stupid jerk kept ignoring her. Later she just gave up on me and though i wasn't interested.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

I wouldn't know.


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## avoidobot3000 (Aug 22, 2010)

One maybe, when I was 18. She was really nice, studying to be a primary school teacher, but I was too scared to act on it. :doh


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## Aussiery (Sep 17, 2012)

Yes my next door neighbours poodle.


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## Luka92 (Dec 13, 2011)

I think so.


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## Christian S (Aug 2, 2012)

Yes, when I was 14... In physics class, I was put next to this girl. I was shy of course, but she managed to get me talking. We shared a few interests and hit it off pretty well. I noticed she was acting 'a bit strange' around me, (smiling all the time, laughing at my jokes, even touching my arm from time to time). She was perfect. Everything I could ever want in a girl... But of course at the time, I was too f****** STUPID to see it.

:bash:bash:bash:bash:bash:bash:bash:


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## Soilwork (May 14, 2012)

No


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## Nono441 (May 14, 2012)

One in primary/high school, but it was pretty shallow stuff (as you'd expect from 12 year olds). Since then, no. If there was, I guess I just didn't pick up on it, I've always sucked at interpreting body language. Actually, I remember this girl was apparently into me a couple years ago, but of course I figured it out months too late. ****. Just thinking about what could have been hurts so bad. **** **** **** **** ****!

If somebody out there likes me, I want them to speak up, because I'm tired of trying to read into every little interaction I have with people. I don't know, look in my direction and run your hand through your hair or some ****, use your imagination! How hard can it be?


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## Christian S (Aug 2, 2012)

Nono441 said:


> I figured it out months too late. ****. Just thinking about what could have been hurts so bad. **** **** **** **** ****!


+1. Every time I think about what I posted above, I just want to pick up a brick and smash my own head in with it...


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## DS29790bb (Dec 31, 2011)

Last year, this girl had a crush on me bigtime. I actually did realize it at the beginning partly because she made it incredibly obvious and my good friend talked to her friend and her friend asked "is that guy (me) into that girl (girl who was crushing on me?" So I kinda knew.

It actually got me really down because I really did not like her. She was cute, but so annoying. We would talk and she would just blab on about herself and it was so boring. I think we flirted about a month before she found another guy, but in that month, I kinda led her on a bit as a friend, like watching moves together. And there was one night we ended up going out with just us (though it was not meant like that......some people's plans changed so it was just us out for a night). She laid her head on me during movies a couple times and grabbed me during scary parts, which was (and still is) the closest I've gotten to a girl. 

But it all fizzled when she met another guy. I was a little jealous at first, but then I considered it and realized I just didn't like her that much.....she was annoying. And she gets attached to guys VERY easily......I was one of them I found out. She's not like a **** or anything, she just gets attached to guys super easily. Today, we are still friends but she is still annoying haha


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

Twice. Once when I was 10 and once I was 14. The one that liked me when I was 14 I ran from her when she told me that she liked me. I'm an idiot because I liked her and then we moved away not long after that. That was the time that any girl would tell me that she liked me.


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## Insider (Sep 17, 2012)

If they did they never told me. 

There was this one girl that seemed to like me (this was when I was around 15-16). My mum noticed it aswell but always told me she was too young (if I remember correctly she was 3 years younger than me). I never had the guts to ask her out anyway. I think she lost interest or got tired of waiting for me to make a move because at one point I stopped seeing her around and she lives in the same area as me.


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## SambaBus (Apr 26, 2012)

If anyone did then they didn't tell me. Anyway I thought most people kept crushes a secret.


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## kilgoretrout (Jul 20, 2011)

10-year-old boys mostly.


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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

Not sure. I'm pretty horrible at picking up on those things.


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

I believe so, yeah. I only know of 1 who confirmed it. She had a crush on me in 10th grade but didn't tell me until a few years later.


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## Memory (Mar 4, 2011)

Only in elementary school that I know of. One was tall and fat and had a pig nose. One time I caught him stroaking my desk..  I was like "why are you petting my desk?" he said "I don't know.. I just like it."
Some Indian kid liked me one time too. He kept asking me if I liked Ariel or Cinderella. I lied and said I didn't because I wanted to make it obvious I didn't like him.
There were a few others until middle school when I gained some weight and my social anxiety got bad. I don't know about now though.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

Not that I know of.


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## roseblood (Mar 1, 2010)

One that i am completely sure of, well two. There was this guy in high school who had a very obsessive Infatuation with me.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

Hmm. Around three online, one of whom thought I was a guy xD. Around three or four offline as far as I know, and that's about it x__x


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## nycdude (Mar 20, 2010)

Not even sure, but I do have a crush on this chick.


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## Myluckystar (Sep 29, 2012)

Nope. I doubt it. 

Well Except for this 3/4 year old boy once. It was actually really cute. lol! :lol


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## ApathyDivine (Feb 28, 2012)

It is doubtful


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Online yes, in real life I am not sure but I would like to think so.


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## Anonymous3909 (Sep 24, 2016)

Nope, not all. I'm still a teenager, but no guy would ever say he would like me. You see, the problem is at a certain age (early teens;13,14,or 16) 

boys/girls are going to judge people by their looks. I'm currently in middle school(8th grade) , and if you observe very closely you don't see 

many or girls or boys of a middle/highschool have an attractive partner. It's a big issue for me because I'm Asian and I don't look at all attractive 

without makeup. My mother has told not me to wear makeup ,and I have never had. Over the past years of observing middle school relationship I

can guess that it's not "love" it's lust. We're just judging people by their looks. If a girl is really attractive then, of course, more than a few guys 

are gonna like her. It really hurts me inside that nobody can see the unique personality that people like me have. I just try to move on with life.

I kinda gave up when nobody ever asked to dance with me when a slow song came on or even give a small positive comment. I don't need somebody lying to me that I'm "beautiful".


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## Zatch (Apr 28, 2013)

Yep. Quite a few times. The damage control on some of them were among the cringiest experiences in my life.

Would've been a lot better off leaving it at "what could've been."


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## Schmetterling (Sep 21, 2016)

The love of my life skipped that part and went directly into falling in love with me. We still love each other but we aren't together anymore (very long story).

So, I can honestly say no one ever had a crush on me. Why? well I'm unattractive (code word for ugly), and I was always the isolated nerdy during my school and university years, barely someone noticed me. Now I'm in my early 30's and I already gave up on love and raising a family, hence I stopped caring about dating/love relationships stuff. I'm focused on my new life plans as a lonely woman, because lonely people can also have a life, despite of what non-believers say.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Old thread, but no, nobody ever has, not even when I was in school. Guys always mistake my anxiety for snobbery.

A couple of times online (never IRL) guys have said they were interested, but they then quickly proved they were just joking. For example, a guy with SA once said he had a crush on me, then immediately said I'm stuck up and think I'm better than he is but that was okay, he still liked me. (Other posts of his made it clear I'm not at all the physical type he's interested in, either.)

Kind of hard to take that as a serious "crush." In fact I found it rather cruel.


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## SvanThor (Sep 18, 2016)

Yes, to my knowledge there have been several, and I feel bad for each of them.


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## ShatteredGlass (Oct 12, 2012)

Yeah, there have been a few. Even now, I suspect 1 guy and know of 2 girls as currently 'liking' me. Unsurprisingly, I don't feel mutually towards any of them. I never seem to feel mutually towards people who think I'm just _so cute_. People I've had crushes on have never liked me back, which is, of course, most unfortunate, lol.


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## In The Shade (Jun 26, 2016)

No

I have had girls make general conversation but that's just conversation, it doesn't mean anything. I cant see any girl ever liking me in that way, im not physically attractive, Im short and scrawny and we all know how much girls hate short guys, they don't even want to be seen with short guys as its not acceptable socially as people will look down upon them.


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## The Condition of Keegan (Feb 1, 2016)

Im not sure if I already answered this but no, no one has ever had a crush on me...I don't think anyone ever will either. :/ It's okay, I've almost never had a crush on anyone either soo...


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## 806210 (Sep 14, 2016)

My best friend used to. Couldn't work out cause he's a guy and I'm a lesbian, so..


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

I think so.. Just a few as of late. I'm really not sure how to respond as, with the knowledge I've gained from SAS, rejection is taboo, really booed and frowned upon. Even though it technically is emotional manipulation if you demand a person to act a certain way. But still, it doesn't exactly do much to affirm my self-esteem as I'm more worried about being "responsible" for someone's self-worth. Maybe that's stretching it a bit, but it's on my conscience.


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## TianaD (Sep 24, 2016)

Yes but most of the time they just thought I was being rude because I didn't talk a lot and didn't know how to respond


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## Red October (Aug 1, 2016)

yep, my ex and I had a mutual crush before we started dating


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## RobinTurnaround (May 11, 2016)

Two boys in elementary school


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## Azazello (May 12, 2013)

coeur_brise said:


> ...with the knowledge I've gained from SAS, rejection is taboo, really booed and frowned upon.


Is it? Really? Wow. Learn something new every day, not that I'm going to change my ways or anything, but still - wow.

On the subject of the thread, though; it doesn't really apply to me as I'm not shy, just really stand offish.


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## Batcat (Nov 19, 2014)

Yup, there was a co-worker at the shop I worked at who definitely had a crush on me; even after I quit and hadn't seen her for a year and a half she remembered my name and things about me.


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## Cashel (Oct 29, 2013)

A few people that I know of.


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## Callum96 (Jul 18, 2013)

A girl who I like a lot says she feels the same way about me, but she has a boyfriend who she loves and isn't going to leave him.

Apart from that, not that I'm aware of, apart from a girl from when I was about 17 who has since committed suicide. 

Happy happy happy!


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

Azazello said:


> Is it? Really? Wow. Learn something new every day, not that I'm going to change my ways or anything, but still - wow.
> 
> On the subject of the thread, though; it doesn't really apply to me as I'm not shy, just really stand offish.


I'm not serious, it's not really taboo, but it is treated like a crime sometimes.


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## cosmicslop (Nov 24, 2012)

SvanThor said:


> Yes, to my knowledge there have been several, and I feel bad for each of them.


Ditto. Just why. Also ends up making me feel bad for myself because they think I'm better than I actually am.


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## Protozoan (May 26, 2014)

It used to pass off as cute enough in high school but I'm not too sure how that'll fly these days.

I'll get back to you on it in 2017


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

:stu


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

A few times, I guess. I was usually oblivious to it until if/when they said something. I tend to crush a lot on shy girls. Always have. Especially the ones that give off the shy but strong-willed vibe. There's something about them. You can feel their presence and their energy somehow.


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## KelsKels (Oct 4, 2011)

In school I heard about a couple people that had a crush on me.. I never really believed it though. I'm married now but we were friends first so idk if that counts. I guess it would.. So yeah.


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## PineconeMachine (Jan 17, 2012)

Of course. I usually find out about it much later on...which is frustrating. (e.g. - someone from high school liked me, but I had no idea until several years after). There are times, though, where i'm able to tell, but can't seem to do anything about it.


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## kivi (Dec 5, 2014)

Yes, a few in middle/high school I think. When they started to get closer though, my avoidance acted up and I started to draw away. Like some other users said, I think, they think I'm better than I actually am (I'm really insecure about relationships, I find myself boring...etc. ). I'll try to work on my avoidance hopefully in next years.

I also think I'm somewhat good at sensing who crushes on whom by their gestures, words... (mostly their change of interests, though it's important not to confuse it with just kindness). It's cute to watch.


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## Bonfiya (Jan 19, 2015)

Yes but then they'd try talking to me and realise I have the personality of a sultana, haha.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I wouldn't know.


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## Zozulya (Mar 24, 2016)

Yes, but late when aware of it and felt no regrets (maybe once, but it was 10 years+ ago) , well not interested at the moment.


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## jennyjukes (Jul 10, 2012)

sure, plenty. because they thought i was "hard to get" (nope, just terrified) or they liked that i was shy and "not like the other girls" :roll yeah i am... im just thinking/saying it in my head rather than out loud lol.. 

i would drink a lot when my anxiety was bad because it was the only time i could talk to people and let my personality out, so people would be attracted to my outgoing/fun drunk person then i'd be too scared to talk to them cause i'd feel like a fraud lol.


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## AllTheSame (Mar 19, 2016)

Several in hs and university, but I didn't feel the same way about them. My first gf when I was 12 years old had a crush on me before we met. She was one of my sister's best friends lol, and she told my sister I was her crush. My ex-wife had a crush on me before we got into a serious relationship (it started out as a ONS).


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## Mr A (Oct 7, 2015)

A few times in the past, but I was too afraid to pursue it.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

Nope, not one.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Yeah, I don't know what people see in me when they do. Well sometimes I did. 'you should cosplay as Flandre from Touhou!'


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

I guess you could say something that other people would call a 'crush' has happened to me, on several occasions.

But my 'crushes' always follow a very definite pattern: someone who is miserable, in a lot of pain, lonely, hates themselves, etc., somehow ends up talking to me. I'm a sympathetic listener, and I know how to make people feel better, and sometimes I give good advice. After a certain number of conversations like this, they suddenly decide they have 'feelings' for me.

I think those feelings are pretty straightforward: they've become enchanted with the idea that I can take their pain away and fix their lives somehow. Therapists deal with this all the time. It's called positive transference. It's not me they love, but the idea of getting out of their pain.

Now, if I happen to be attracted to the person myself, I might take them up on their offer of a relationship. This is how all my relationships have happened, more or less. The relationship, ofc, doesn't work out, because, sooner or later, the person who had a 'crush' on me realizes that I'm an incredibly dysfunctional person and I can't actually fix their lives for them. So they move on. And I'm left with the feeling that I've taken advantage of them during a vulnerable time in their life and feel angry at myself for my weakness. So I've adopted a new policy, since my last relationship, of never getting into a relationship with anyone that's in a particularly vulnerable state if I've been trying to help them work through it, since I don't consider that genuine romantic interest and those sorts of relationships do more harm than good in the long run.

Imo, 'crush' implies some element of physical attraction, and some element of admiration for the other person as a person in their own right. You're not in love with me; you're in love with not being sad. There's a difference.


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## bewareofyou (Jun 16, 2013)

There's 7 or 8 that I know of.. one that sticks out is this girl that had a really big crush on me for like 3 years and she still kept trying to text me for like a year and a half after I stopped responding to her. That was a bit weird but I still sort of feel bad about it.


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## HenDoggy (Jul 26, 2014)

Yes, but I cease all forms of communication after they attempt to get closer to me


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## RenegadeReloaded (Mar 12, 2011)

Well I'm terrible at reading signs and hints from girls so I don't really know.

When I was younger boys who I hung out with would sometimes say to me things like: hey, she's into you dude/he likes you, go talk to her. And I was like: how do you know, why am I so blind so that I can never tell ? Well I guess Asperger's plays a role here too.

Even now some girls insist on talking to me on facebook and such, does that mean they are interested ? Anyway they are from another town so even if I like them back I know there are small chances of a relationship so I'm not really interested in talking to them, but I do respond, been through long distance relationship and it sucks, feels almost like non existent.


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## MadnessVertigo (Sep 26, 2016)

truant said:


> But my 'crushes' always follow a very definite pattern: someone who is miserable, in a lot of pain, lonely, hates themselves, etc., somehow ends up talking to me. I'm a sympathetic listener, and I know how to make people feel better, and sometimes I give good advice. After a certain number of conversations like this, they suddenly decide they have 'feelings' for me.
> 
> I think those feelings are pretty straightforward: they've become enchanted with the idea that I can take their pain away and fix their lives somehow. Therapists deal with this all the time. It's called positive transference. It's not me they love, but the idea of getting out of their pain.


Interesting... I think I've been on both sides of that. Inevitably I'm attracted to and attract people who are "damaged" so to speak. I've always thought "transference" in regard to therapists was bull**** though. Having someone you're physically attracted to listen in rapt attention to you is going to lead to infatuation... it doesn't need a special name as if it were a pathology. I think it exposes the dark and false side of therapy as a whole, yet the condition "transference" is a convenient scapegoat, or else the patient becomes one.

Dang I'm digressing. When you say "It's not me they love, but the idea of getting out of their pain", I wonder if it is so clear cut as that. Is "healthy" love so different, where two people mutually try to escape boredom, loneliness and pain together? Everyone suffers those things in some degrees, is it not the role of love to alleviate them and replace them with hope, peace and well-being?


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## Tetragammon (Jun 2, 2015)

Once, when I was only like 7 years old. We became good friends and were actually each others' first crushes. Too bad I moved away soon after. Haven't heard of being anyone's crush since and I'm not surprised.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

MadnessVertigo said:


> Interesting... I think I've been on both sides of that. Inevitably I'm attracted to and attract people who are "damaged" so to speak. I've always thought "transference" in regard to therapists was bull**** though. Having someone you're physically attracted to listen in rapt attention to you is going to lead to infatuation... it doesn't need a special name as if it were a pathology. I think it exposes the dark and false side of therapy as a whole, yet the condition "transference" is a convenient scapegoat, or else the patient becomes one.
> 
> Dang I'm digressing. When you say "It's not me they love, but the idea of getting out of their pain", I wonder if it is so clear cut as that. Is "healthy" love so different, where two people mutually try to escape boredom, loneliness and pain together? Everyone suffers those things in some degrees, is it not the role of love to alleviate them and replace them with hope, peace and well-being?


On transference in therapy:

Let's say you're a child, and your parents are distant. No matter what you do, they never seem interested in you. You grow up with the conviction that you're not an interesting person; if you were, your parents would have been interested. Their interest is 'proof' that they love you. As an adult, you go to therapy and suddenly a mature adult in a position of authority is paying attention to everything you say, asking about your life, etc.; ie. they're acting the way you always tried to get your parents to act. Iow, they become a substitute parent.

Now, instead of addressing this problem -- that you feel like you're too boring to love -- you keep going to therapy, trying to fill that hole in your heart with your therapist's attention. That hole in your heart is the false conviction you have about yourself, derived from your interpretation of your parent's behavior, that you are an uninteresting person. You can only believe that you're interesting when your therapist pays attention to you; should their attention waver, you're suddenly plunged back into those old feelings of not being interesting enough to love; ie. your transference to your therapist is preventing you from becoming well.

If your therapist is the only person who pays any attention to you, you may very well 'fall in love' with them, but _what you're falling in love with is not the therapist; it's the feeling of being loved_. There is a very important difference. Anyone who paid this much attention to you, and whom you respected (probably subconsciously) as a parental figure, would receive the same kind of transference; your 'love' is based on the feeling, not on anything about the person beyond their willingness to pay attention. You probably know nothing about the therapist, and don't have much interest in them.

The relationships that I've had have been based on this dynamic. People who were very unhappy, and who had no interest in me, became interested in me after I talked over their problems with them over a period of weeks or months. I don't think 'crush' is the right word for describing that, even though it led to relationships. They became attached to feeling better about themselves and I took advantage of them because I knew it was the only opportunity I'd have for a relationship. Then when they realized I couldn't fix them, and that I'm badly damaged myself, they became disenchanted and left.

I would not describe healthy love as "two people mutually try to escape boredom, loneliness and pain together". That's two people medicating each other. I'm sure most relationships have a certain amount of that mixed in. But love, to me, implies admiration and affirmation of the other person, a willingness to bear pain for their sake, and a desire to act in the best interests of the other, regardless of potential consequences. I knew almost everything about my partners; I tried to 'parent' them. But I can honestly say they knew next to nothing about me. Nor did they seem interested. The only people who have ever been 'attracted' to me are people I've played the game 'therapy' with. And the thought sickens me. They don't want me; they want morphine.

You're right, though, that therapists often use transference as an excuse for why therapy isn't progressing when it's just their own inability to help you.


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## springbreeze1 (Aug 4, 2016)

I only knew of two confirm cases. The first was my next door neighbor when I was in elementary. Her friend teased her in front of me so I knew. Another was my brother's ex girlfriend's friend, my brother's ex said she wanted to be my gf.

I never got to confirm if my crush also crushed on me. At least she liked me I think.


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## MadnessVertigo (Sep 26, 2016)

@truant Interesting food for thought. It's making me reexamine my past and current relationships with crushes and therapists. What *do* you think is the solution to not feeling interesting enough to love, if not therapy? The origin of the feeling I don't think is limited to distant parents, because I have parents who gave me a lot of their attention yet I feel utterly uninteresting and unlovable as an adult.



> what you're falling in love with is not the therapist; it's the feeling of being loved


Again this strikes me as a feature of love in general and not necessarily pathological. Isn't it common wisdom that we choose who we want to be around based on how they make us feel? And presumably a lover is who we want to be around the most. When you say "act in the best interest of the other" and "bear pain for their sake", I suppose you mean a willingness to suspend this natural inclination and stick by our lover even while they make us feel bad?


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## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

Probably not.


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## AgatoN (Oct 13, 2016)

Not really, most avoid me because of that.


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## MrSmall (Oct 2, 2016)

Don't think so.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

MadnessVertigo said:


> What *do* you think is the solution to not feeling interesting enough to love, if not therapy? The origin of the feeling I don't think is limited to distant parents, because I have parents who gave me a lot of their attention yet I feel utterly uninteresting and unlovable as an adult.


Parents are just the most common cause of these mental fractures. It ultimately has to do with the way you interpret your experiences. A mental trauma later in life -- for example, being ignored by people you wanted to be friends with at school, or being abandoned by someone you cared deeply about -- could create the same sort of fracture.

The fracture is the thought/conviction that you're 'too boring to love' or unlovable for some other reason, because you're ugly, stupid, socially awkward, you stutter or have some sort of birth defect, whatever. This thought, that you're defective somehow, if it becomes a conviction, creates a stubborn distortion in your thinking, like a dead tree in the river of your thought, twisting your interpretations of the behavior of others and accumulating all sorts of negative mental garbage that would otherwise be flowing smoothly through the current of your conscious experience.

The 'cure' is to realize that the concept: "I'm too boring to love" is not only untrue in your own case, a hasty evaluation of some temporary feeling that 'got stuck', but that it's universally untrue in everyone's case, since the "I" isn't limited in that sort of way. That belief is an abstraction, a distortion. No one is too boring to love. People become boring to avoid the psychological pain of rejection (by building a wall of disinterest around themselves), or to become consistent with their conviction that they are boring. Over time, they accumulate more and more 'evidence' that they're boring and further deepen that conviction. Once the pain of possible rejection is embraced, or you realize that your identity is merely a formal mental construct, there's no longer any need to act boring as a defense against life or as a means of 'creating yourself'.

Ofc, easier said than done.



MadnessVertigo said:


> Again this strikes me as a feature of love in general and not necessarily pathological. Isn't it common wisdom that we choose who we want to be around based on how they make us feel? And presumably a lover is who we want to be around the most. When you say "act in the best interest of the other" and "bear pain for their sake", I suppose you mean a willingness to suspend this natural inclination and stick by our lover even while they make us feel bad?


If I love someone -- genuinely love them -- I want what's best for them, regardless of the consequences for myself. A parent who runs back into a burning building to save their child is demonstrating their love -- they're willing to risk their own lives to save someone else's.

If I love someone, it doesn't matter how they feel about me. If I fall in love with a man who is in love with another woman, and I think that woman could make him happier than I could, my desire is that he be with that woman. My love for him prevents me for placing my own needs above his. The ideal of romantic love is two people who place each other's needs over their own, not for neurotic reasons, because they're martyrs, or because they're trying to manipulate each other, but because it makes them genuinely happy to see the other person happy -- the other's happiness is their own happiness, even if, at times, it might be tinged with sorrow or regret. That's where sacrifice and the willingness to bear pains for the sake of another comes in.

Who we choose to spend our time with is, as you say, based on how they make us feel. They make us laugh, or we find them fascinating, or we enjoy the way looking at and touching their body makes us feel. That transference I was talking about, the positive feeling of being loved and paid attention to, is certainly among those feelings. It's genuine. But it's no more genuine than any other feeling. Enjoying a feeling that someone creates in us isn't the same as wanting the best for that person. We may 'love' certain comedians, even though we're not in love with them. We may love pizza, but that doesn't mean we want what's best for the pizza. Love is independent of all these feelings.

If someone gives us enough of these positive feelings, we may want to keep them around to keep getting the feelings, and that may grow into genuine love. But it's also possible to love people who give us nothing but negative feelings -- sadness, frustration, fear. Love isn't restricted to feeling good; it's a different dimension of relationship. It's the ability to see the worth in the other person, regardless of how they make you feel, and a genuine desire to promote their happiness for the sake of that worth.


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## MadnessVertigo (Sep 26, 2016)

@truant Thanks for the insights. Interesting perspective.


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## Trooper (Apr 29, 2011)

I have no idea, and I'm not really sure if I could read the signs if it were to happen.


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

my girlfriends thinks I'm kawaii.


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## TheLastShy (Sep 20, 2014)

In high school I basically was stalked and hunted down by women, so I guess yes.

The worst case was a blonde, popular, extroverted, above average looking, rich girl.


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## arkansastraveler (Jun 24, 2016)

Dead Leaves said:


> Surprisingly, yes.
> 
> It's flattering, but also massively depressing. There's no way these girls would like me if they _really_ knew me


I know how you feel


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