# Women, how much do you care about money?



## Fuzzy Logic (Sep 16, 2009)

It seems to be pretty wide spread in popular culture that women are attracted to wealth, or at least are attracted to men who are successful professionally. I am at a real disadvantage in this area because while most guys my age are starting out in careers I'm still a jobless student living at home without much cash. I feel if anyone asks me if I work anywhere or something they will immedietely reject me as a loser.

So, ladies, be perfectly honest, how much does it matter to you personally? (I understand there is some compulsion to lie so to not avoid appearing matierialistic but I promise I won't judge you like that).


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## RayOfLight123 (Dec 4, 2009)

honestly, I don't care if a guy doesn't have much money..


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## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)

My boyfriend has been basically broke ever since we started dating a year ago. So there you go.

He's having a hard time, he's been trying to get his business up and running and it hasn't really caught hook yet. But I'm not dating him for his money. I'm going to school for a reason. To get a job and make my own money.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

The question would probably be better if you asked how important is it for women for men to have a job/future/financial goals.


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

nubly said:


> The question would probably be better if you asked how important is it for women for men to have a job/future/financial goals.


This.

I've had quite a few ups and downs the past 15 or so years and dated women that were supportive and some that were far too self-involved and non-empathetic to handle it. Just recently, actually, I worked my way through a rather lengthy period of unemployment. I was essentially living off of the government's allowance and my significant other was very supportive and willing to foot the bill during many of our excursions with the understanding that I would lavish her with gifts and dinner dates and all manner of luxuries. I am now gainfully employed and having a great time fulfilling my promises.

Your current educational endeavors are a means to an end. I would imagine that most young women are in the same situation as you and understand your living situation and recognize that you aspire to be self-sufficient and move out of your parents house. Now, if 10 years from now you have your degree but still chose to live at home and work at Gamestop, I might have a different response for you.

Money helps facilitate and sustain a relationship. If you're dating someone that has absolutely none of it, no plans to procure any of it and no problem with you're providing it, you are likely an old, lonely man that is entirely ok with being taken advantage of. If not, it's probably time that you took a step back to re-evaluate your relationship. Women want to feel comfortable with their partners on a number of levels. I think even the most financially secure and independent of them want to see their men working hard and contributing to the relationship, financially. More often than not, how much you make is not going make you more or less of a man than any other. How much effort you put into your work, however, will.


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## freshjive (Jun 4, 2008)

I know lots of losers who have a steady flow of women. I think money plays less of a role with women than most guys think. If you can make a girl laugh, feel safe and loved she'll be all over you, money or not.


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

freshjive said:


> I know lots of losers who have a steady flow of women. I think money plays less of a role with women than most guys think. If you can make a girl laugh, feel safe and loved she'll be all over you, money or not.


The OP didn't stipulate but I assumed he was asking this question as it pertains to long-term relationships. A good sense of humor and some sly moves can take you far while bar-hopping and looking for a one night stand. But when it comes to settling down with someone, no amount of silly boyish charm will make up for the fact that he can't at least pay for his own damn gummy bears when you go to the movies.


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## PurpleMoon (Dec 7, 2009)

I'm interested enough in money that I have a job and make my own. I'd like a partner that can do the same. I don't have any interest in a man taking care of me. I do have an interest in having a partner who contributes equally to the relationship as I do.

Of course when hard times hit I'm perfectly happy to pick up the slack if I know that he'll do the same if the roles ever get reversed.


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## Annie K (Sep 24, 2008)

Money honestly isn't that important to me. I still live at home and don't have a job, so if I met a guy who was in the same situation, I would understand.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

It's important that my boyfriend not be a bum who takes all my money, but I don't require a man to support me. If I did, I would have stayed with my wealthy ex-boyfriend instead of breaking up with him.


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## sublimit (Aug 16, 2009)

I don't care if the people I date have a lot of money, but I want them to be independent. Almost all of the people I've dated didn't have much money, but they worked hard and were working towards achieving their goals. I suppose I'm attracted to people who are motivated.


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## freshjive (Jun 4, 2008)

path0gen said:


> The OP didn't stipulate but I assumed he was asking this question as it pertains to long-term relationships. A good sense of humor and some sly moves can take you far while bar-hopping and looking for a one night stand. But when it comes to settling down with someone, no amount of silly boyish charm will make up for the fact that he can't at least pay for his own damn gummy bears when you go to the movies.


I still think that if you can make a woman feel loved, make her laugh, and make her feel safe she'll be with you with or without money.

How many women do you know that are married to successful rich men who dont care for them at all? I bet most of them would trade the rich guy for a poor guy who was there for them emotionally.

Just look at Keven Federline. Bagged one of the hottest girls in the world despite being a lowly dancer.


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

> I still think that if you can make a woman feel loved, make her laugh, and make her feel safe she'll be with you with or without money.


A romantic notion. Unfortunately, women have standards nowadays. They can make choices and have careers and even be self-sufficient! You'd be amazed how many don't want to work all day to come home to a charming, funny husband sitting on the couch eating nachos. Being career driven and financially motivated are very attractive qualities. The hippy lifestyle lost it's popularity about 40 years ago.



> How many women do you know that are married to successful rich men who dont care for them at all? I bet most of them would trade the rich guy for a poor guy who was there for them emotionally.


Not too many, actually. I see quite a few in the movies. But in reality, if a woman is married to a rich but very disrespectful, abusive man, she's more likely to divorce him and take half of his money. Not stick around waiting for some poor slob to come rescue her from her terribly uncomfortable lifestyle full of expensive clothing, lengthy vacations and sex with the gardener.



> Just look at Keven Federline. Bagged one of the hottest girls in the world despite being a lowly dancer.


You might want to chose someone else to idolize. Kevin and Brittany are a typical white-trash-didn't-know-any-better couple that didn't know what the hell they were getting into. He was notorious for being a sleezebag, mooching, cheater of a husband and she left him accordingly. Judging by recent photos, he's gained about 100 pounds since the divorce. If he has a good sense of humor and/or the ability to make a woman feel loved, it hasn't been able to bag him another girl since.


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## freshjive (Jun 4, 2008)

path0gen said:


> A romantic notion. Unfortunately, women have standards nowadays. They can make choices and have careers and even be self-sufficient! You'd be amazed how many don't want to work all day to come home to a charming, funny husband sitting on the couch eating nachos. Being career driven and financially motivated are very attractive qualities. The hippy lifestyle lost it's popularity about 40 years ago.
> 
> Not too many, actually. I see quite a few in the movies. But in reality, if a woman is married to a rich but very disrespectful, abusive man, she's more likely to divorce him and take half of his money. Not stick around waiting for some poor slob to come rescue her from her terribly uncomfortable lifestyle full of expensive clothing, lengthy vacations and sex with the gardener.
> 
> You might want to chose someone else to idolize. Kevin and Brittany are a typical white-trash-didn't-know-any-better couple that didn't know what the hell they were getting into. He was notorious for being a sleezebag, mooching, cheater of a husband and she left him accordingly. Judging by recent photos, he's gained about 100 pounds since the divorce. If he has a good sense of humor and/or the ability to make a woman feel loved, it hasn't been able to bag him another girl since.


You're entitled to your own opinion. Obviously a woman doesnt want some loser who is sitting on the couch waiting for the wife to bring home the bacon but I think too much emphasis is being put on money and for that matter looks.

If a guy is a hard worker who works 40 hrs a week as a street sweeper and treats a woman right she'll stay with him, imo. the woman will probably try to get him to improve himself by getting and education, better job...etc but I personally think that women value a man who can make them feel special more than some douche who makes lots of money with zero personality. Money is overrated imo, unless you're a gold digger.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

Is that a wallet in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

I don't care about it. I make my own money. *sniff* ahh....fresh out of the oven, just like mom used to make.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Golddiggers are a turn OFF!
I am fighting my own financial battles.


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## thewall (Feb 1, 2009)

I don't care at all. I want to earn my own money.


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

freshjive said:


> You're entitled to your own opinion. Obviously a woman doesnt want some loser who is sitting on the couch waiting for the wife to bring home the bacon but I think too much emphasis is being put on money and for that matter looks.
> 
> If a guy is a hard worker who works 40 hrs a week as a street sweeper and treats a woman right she'll stay with him, imo. the woman will probably try to get him to improve himself by getting and education, better job...etc but I personally think that women value a man who can make them feel special more than some douche who makes lots of money with zero personality. Money is overrated imo, unless you're a gold digger.


There's a difference between saying a guy can get by on just laughs, charm and empathy and saying the same guy but WITH a low paying job can. I won't disagree that the latter might be an attractive option. In fact, I've said as much earlier in this post. I think what it boils down to is this:

Are women attracted to men with money?

Yes

Are women attracted to men with a good work ethic?

Yes

Are women attracted to men with no money and a poor work ethic?

No


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

Money is usually representative of "success" and confidence. Women like successful confident guys. But you don't necessarily need money to be successful or confident. 


And gold diggers aren't really women. They're more like shells of a human. 




Not a female but thought I would offer up an opinion anyway.


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

money has almost no importance to me. the only way it would is that i wouldn't want to see them live in poverty to the point where it has a serious negative effect on them but that's more about their well-being and that wouldn't affect how i judge them or how attracted i am to them.



path0gen said:


> Are women attracted to men with no money and a poor work ethic?
> 
> No


there are a lot more qualities in a person than just work ethic. i know this cause i have none heh heh, so i can't see myself judging a guy based on that when i know it comprises of such a minuscule part of their character and personality (and attractiveness).


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

nothing to fear said:


> money has almost no importance to me. the only way it would is that i wouldn't want to see them live in poverty to the point where it has a serious negative effect on them but that's more about their well-being and that wouldn't affect how i judge them or how attracted i am to them.
> 
> there are a lot more qualities in a person than just work ethic. i know this cause i have none heh heh, so i can't see myself judging a guy based on that when i know it comprises of such a minuscule part of their character and personality (and attractiveness).


The subject of the post is women and whether or not they are attracted to money. For purposes of keeping the thread on track, I have decided not to address other attributes that women may or may not find attractive--except to illustrate that a good smile and healthy sense of humor will not indefinitely overcome responsibility and financial independence.


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## mooncake (Jan 29, 2008)

polythene said:


> Money isn't an issue for me, but I would probably be turned off by someone who had zero career aspirations and zero desire to care for or advance himself. It's less the lack of money than it is the lack of desire.


This is how I feel about the issue. I would be perfectly happy dating someone who had very little money, just as long as they didn't try to mooch off of mine, and provided they were motivated i.e. not content to just stay at home for the duration of their life due to laziness, for example.


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## freshjive (Jun 4, 2008)

irishK said:


> I honestly do not equate success with money and wealth and I am glad I never have. I would rather be someone or be with someone who is passionate about what they do and have little money, than be someone or with someone who can only be satisfied with wealth or the pursuit of it.


Correct. Money is overrated. You could have all the money in the world but still be empty inside.


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## freshjive (Jun 4, 2008)

polythene said:


> It doesn't. Everyone I've ever dated has been pitifully broke. I keep hearing about women who receive expensive gifts from boyfriends and exes, and I think, "where the hell is MY designer purse?" What matters most is how thoughtful someone is, and how much effort they put into a gift if they give them. What's important is that they care, that they're dedicated, and that the things they do are meaningful. Still, it does suck to have to lend your boyfriend money, or to pay for both your dinners/movie tickets/outings constantly. I've had this happen to me before, and after while you just think, "why don't YOU get a job - why am I paying for things all the time?" It's certainly nice when a guy nonchalantly foots the bill without acting cheap about it.


So you pretty much proved my point that money doesnt matter.


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## lyssado707 (Oct 29, 2004)

I don't. Most important to me would be having a healthy relationship. Not money. I'd also actually be more likely to avoid ppl who are big successes because i'd feel like a loser in comparison.


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## DitzyDreamer (Jun 10, 2008)

Not going to lie..money does have some importance to me. I'm not going to be footing the bill for a guy. He's got to have his own cash and be dependent on himself. Otherwise, I'll think he is leeching off me, and I don't have that much so...


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## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)

Work ethic is important, amount of money isn't really. I wouldn't want to be with a guy who was lazy and just didn't want to work. 

I think the double standard is so dumb though. How many women are out there who just don't work and let their husband pay for everything? Why would anyone marry someone like that? =\


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## march_hare (Jan 18, 2006)

The only problem I'd have with having a partner (whether they be male or female) who was "poor" is if the relationship ended up with me supporting them entirely with my own labour and they did nothing.


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## GermanHermit (Sep 6, 2008)

I don't believe anybody who claims not to care for money, sorry.
You can't live on love and air alone!!!


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## Fuzzy Logic (Sep 16, 2009)

I heard somewhere that arguements over finances were the number one cause of devorce, so I think if you have enough money that you never have to worry about stuff like that you stand a much better chance at a long term relationship.


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## tutliputli (Feb 22, 2009)

Men are biologically inclined to be attracted to women who look like they are fertile, while women are biologically inclined to be attracted to men who would be good providers for their children.

I don't particularly care _how much_ money a guy earns. What matters is that he is prepared to work. I would never, ever go out with a guy who was just too lazy to earn a living.


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## Havalina (Dec 18, 2004)

It seems every relationship I have ever been in, I have been the main "bread winner". So I guess that means I don't care much about how much my partner makes (most men have made minimum wage that I have dated). It's all about personality for me. I do expect my partner to contribute some, but I don't expect lavish gifts/vacations. I expect love  LOL.......(wow such a corn-ball)


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## JFmtl (Dec 23, 2008)

Fuzzy Logic said:


> I heard somewhere that arguements over finances were the number one cause of devorce, *so I think if you have enough money that you never have to worry about stuff like that you stand a much better chance at a long term relationship*.


When it comes to long term relationship, i kinda agree with that statement. Some long term goals that couples can have like having an house or having kids and such needs money to come to fruition, and I rarely saw women ready to support their BF or husband.

That being said, as a guy, I would be totally turned off if a woman wasn't able to support herself, and whose main ambition is to find a husband with a good salary to live off from. I don't want a women who expect her BF/husband to pay for most or all bills.


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## IHeartSteveMcQueen (May 30, 2009)

JFmtl said:


> When it comes to long term relationship, i kinda agree with that statement. Some long term goals that couples can have like having an house or having kids and such needs money to come to fruition, and I rarely saw women ready to support their BF or husband.
> 
> That being said, as a guy, I would be totally turned off if a woman wasn't able to support herself, and whose main ambition is to find a husband with a good salary to live off from. I don't want a women who expect her BF/husband to pay for most or all bills.


I dunno, my mom didn't work and raised three kids and my dad paid all the bills, except for the year and a half where she worked and he stayed home. I'm kinda grateful I grew up in that sort of environment, I look at kids today getting rushed around to daycare and day camp during the summer and I think it sucks. I know thats not what you were insinuating but its like these days we're working for less and twice as hard. I don't look at my job as liberation. If I ever get married and have kids I'm hoping I can set it up so one party can work only part time and really be there for the kids.


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## Havalina (Dec 18, 2004)

IHeartSteveMcQueen said:


> I don't look at my job as liberation. If I ever get married and have kids I'm hoping I can set it up so one party can work only part time and really be there for the kids.


Actually this is the only reason why I wouldn't mind if my partner made enough to support me. As a mother, I cannot describe the immense guilt I feel everyday that I leave my small toddler in the hands of another. I work and am a full-time student. He is a year and a half, and I miss him desperately. I feel like a terrible person for doing this to him. He is too young to understand, and calls my name while I am gone.

Maybe money is more important to me than I previously stated. While dating it was irrelevant.  Now with a family and a lack of money, it is important. Not for materials/possessions....but for time.


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## JFmtl (Dec 23, 2008)

IHeartSteveMcQueen said:


> I dunno, my mom didn't work and raised three kids and my dad paid all the bills, except for the year and a half where she worked and he stayed home. I'm kinda grateful I grew up in that sort of environment, I look at kids today getting rushed around to daycare and day camp during the summer and I think it sucks. I know thats not what you were insinuating but its like these days we're working for less and twice as hard. I don't look at my job as liberation. If I ever get married and have kids I'm hoping I can set it up so one party can work only part time and really be there for the kids.


Well I'm probably not getting married ever so thats more a theoretical reflexion anyway :b

I understand your point, but I guess i'm paranoid that if i'm actually successful and I end up making a good Charted Accountant salary, I would end up paying all the bills, only to end up being washed up later in divorce (a women who gives up her career for family is much more likely to hit the jackpot in the divorce as she will get alimony for herself, not just for the kids). I would not give up my career either if I found a woman who would make more money that me. Plus, I'm not fond of traditional stuff like women giving up their career or their name (fortunately here women doesn't lose their names in marriage), just because they are traditional.

Since I was born, my mother has been working part time only (2-3 days a week, lots on week-end, so my father was there then) so she was very present when me and my sister where young and I'm grateful for that (even though I wonder I if could have acquired better social skills if I went to daycare or summer camps...) and at the same time she brought an extra revenue home (nurses gets a decent pay)

But still a women who asks for man with high and stable income while they don't intend to work, it just turns me off...


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## IHeartSteveMcQueen (May 30, 2009)

I agree, that would be a huge turn off. I wasn't insinuating the man should pay everything. My father wasn't a rich career man or anything, he had a decent job with the railroad and both agreed my mom would stay home with the three kids. my parents just made sacrifices and were good with their money. People nowadays are just slaves to the idea that they have to consume like crazy. I don't want to fall into that trap. I look at how much parents spend on their kids at Christmas and it makes me kinda sick. Like the previous poster said, time with your kids is way more valuable than money.


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## JFmtl (Dec 23, 2008)

IHeartSteveMcQueen said:


> I agree, that would be a huge turn off. I wasn't insinuating the man should pay everything. My father wasn't a rich career man or anything, he had a decent job with the railroad and both agreed my mom would stay home with the three kids. my parents just made sacrifices and were good with their money. People nowadays are just slaves to the idea that they have to consume like crazy. I don't want to fall into that trap. I look at how much parents spend on their kids at Christmas and it makes me kinda sick. Like the previous poster said, time with your kids is way more valuable than money.


True, the costs of our "needs" are always increasing. Prices of house are raising . I know a friend who had to pay 190 k for an house in Marieville, which is not that close to Montréal, and they need both income to pay for it and the mother can't afford not to work after the parental government money stops coming in. Many couples barely have enough money to pay mortgage and bills even with both working.

But at the same time, the careerpath I chose might force me to work more than the typical 35-40 hours a week, so I would maybe not be able to be much present with children.... Best solution I wont marry and have kids at all :boogie


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

My goal is to earn my own money before I date someone again. You can't really rely on other people's money. I think girls still think of men as the main breadwinners sometimes since they tend to make more money in general. 

The reason why it is important that both partners work is because having money for things like food and rent is reallly important. Noone would be happy with living under the constant stress and pressure of making basic ends meet.


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## delirium (Jun 24, 2009)

as a woman, personally, i care about money as much as a man does... that's right... freedom of speech...


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

^^Your gender is listed as male, though. :stu :con


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## IHeartSteveMcQueen (May 30, 2009)

men still get paid more so they also shouldn't ***** about being the primary breadwinner. Pay me as much as my male co-workers and I might be able to chip in a little more, actually about 20% more. bull****.


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## Havalina (Dec 18, 2004)

delirium said:


> as a woman, personally, i care about money as much as a man does... That's right... Freedom of speech...


lol.


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## Squizzy (Dec 21, 2004)

I don't really care about money, although I would like someone who makes enough to pay for gas and for meals/entertainment about half the time. It's more about how you spend your money. For example, if you made a little bit of money but saved it wisely, I would be more attracted then with someone who made more money but spent it on all sorts of useless things. 

I made more then my boyfriend until fairly recently and I am actually happy to be the main breadwinner if I get the nursing job I hope for  I am all for women's empowerment and I am happy to be a woman who can support herself and be indepedent.


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## JFmtl (Dec 23, 2008)

IHeartSteveMcQueen said:


> men still get paid more so they also shouldn't ***** about being the primary breadwinner. Pay me as much as my male co-workers and I might be able to chip in a little more, actually about 20% more. bull****.


This is 2009, the men is no longer always earning more than his wife (I did hundreds of tax reports the last few years, I know what i'm talking about). Some female school colleagues will start off with a better salary than I will. You could argue that some traditional male professions (esp dirty, hard, manual and physical jobs) gets more money than some traditional female professions (ex: clerical office jobs) (demand and supply certainly plays a role in that) True that males usually don't have to take a year off because of pregnancy and maybe that males are more likely to accept working more than 35-40 hours a week role when they already have children, factors that can land them promotions more easily.

But today in Québec, it's illegal to pay men more than a women that does the same job. If you do the same (or equivalent) job, work the same amount of hours and have the same seniority within the company yet you get paid less, you should thing about filing a complain to the commission de l'équité salariale http://www.ces.gouv.qc.ca/commission/plaintes.asp


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## IHeartSteveMcQueen (May 30, 2009)

really? I was hired for a job and then when I went to another position they hired back a guy who had quit and paid him 20% more than me, which is bull**** because previously he only had 1 year of experience in that job. I only found out 2 years later though. I'm sure all the men in my office earn more than the women who aren't in managerial positions. Its a Cock company.


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## TATA (Sep 18, 2008)

I DO, I won't lie but it doesn't mean I will only settle for a millionare. Because I want to always have money for food, I do not want to be stock inside for walls, I want to live in a nice place, I want my kid to go to a good school, good college and live in a good neighborhood. And because I like to shop. And most of all I DO NOT LIKE supporting a guy and pay for everything myself.


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## JFmtl (Dec 23, 2008)

IHeartSteveMcQueen said:


> really? I was hired for a job and then when I went to another position they hired back a guy who had quit and paid him 20% more than me, which is bull**** because previously he only had 1 year of experience in that job. I only found out 2 years later though. I'm sure all the men in my office earn more than the women who aren't in managerial positions. Its a Cock company.


I didn't not read the whole site of the commission de l'équité salariale so I don't know the details. If your business has more than 10 employees and is not in a federal competence industry (the site gives telecommunications and banks as examples) they have to comply to salary equity between men and women from what i've understood.

The fact that they gave this guy 20% more than you, if he only has one year of experience more than you did, seems like a blatant example of salary equity violation, unless everyone at this position gets a 20% raise after a year of experience. However, after looking on google, I think small business (10-49) have until 2010 to comply, but i'm not sure. However, since you guys were doing the exact same job, you may want to look in the Normes du Travail about it. (the équité salarial is about comparing typical female profession like secretary to typical male jobs like truck drivers to make sure that secretaries receives a fair salary compared to a truck driver)


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## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

So what I gather is, laziness is detested and being satisfied with a menial job is a turnoff. I guess I'm in luck then, because I really don't see any difference between laziness and fear of working due to SA. Nor do I see a difference between lack of confidence moving up the ladder and being comfortable with a bad job inside my comfort zone. Therefore, for all intents and purposes, I'm not dating material.

I guess I'm one of the few who view childhood friendships with nostalgia since they didn't cost money. Whenever I invited friends over, activities were always free. Somewhere after high school though, everything begins costing money. Dating's a real wake up call. I'm not against paying, but I'm lousy provider; so I know my prospects are limited.


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## Delicate (May 23, 2008)

That's so funny I read the "Women, how much do you care..." and thought money?
Not at all.
By the way I think these questions are counter productive because not all women think the same... self acceptence is the only key.


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

IHeartSteveMcQueen said:


> men still get paid more so they also shouldn't ***** about being the primary breadwinner. Pay me as much as my male co-workers and I might be able to chip in a little more, actually about 20% more. bull****.


I can't comment on your personal situation.

But studies done on the differences between men and women pay were mainly due to two things:

-Women going on maternity leave for 9+ months. During those 9 months, male co-workers are still productive at work and therefore will get a raise beyond the women who is out.

-The fact that women are more nurturing than men. So if someone in the family is sick or dying or need help in any way, it is usually a woman that takes time off rather than a man. Again the man gets the raise for productivity.

These are just generalities and I'm sure you know someone who breaks the mold. But generally women make less cause they are out of the workplace more often.

women are paid equally for equal work.


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## IHeartSteveMcQueen (May 30, 2009)

not where I work


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

I don't care about money, just responsibility. If a guy has a job, then that's a good sign, regardless of occupation.


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## JFmtl (Dec 23, 2008)

VanDamMan said:


> I can't comment on your personal situation.
> 
> But studies done on the differences between men and women pay were mainly due to two things:
> 
> ...


The things that you listed can partly explain why overall women earns less than men. While some women may say it's unfair to them, what can you do about it? Force men to take 2 or 3 years off in their 20's and their 30's to make it equal? Make it illegal for men to work more than 35-40 hours a week? Force business to pretend that years that women took off for maternity leave were actually work and still count them as years of experience for salary and promotion sake, even though they were totally unproductive for the business? It is my opinion that because of this, in national wide statistics, women's salary will always be a little lower than men's, as trying to "even" these things stated would be at the expense of businesses and men who are available to work.

For Mcqueen's case however, this had nothing to do with maternity leave or numbers of hours worked; the women in her company are paid less (per hour) than men for doing the same job or an job equivalent "traditionally male-dominated" job, all of which is in Québec either illegal or soon to be illegal, as business has to evaluate all the jobs offered to make sure that jobs traditionally held by women are less paid than equivalent jobs traditionally held by men.


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## Some Russian Guy (Mar 20, 2009)

Fuzzy Logic said:


> I feel if anyone asks me if I work anywhere or something they will immedietely reject me as a loser.


yup, they like to do that... I suspect that the act of rejection probably gives girls a temporary high or som like that...


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## izzy (Dec 18, 2009)

Some Russian Guy said:


> yup, they like to do that... I suspect that the act of rejection probably gives girls a temporary high or som like that...


And what about guys? Do you think they get a "temporary high" from rejecting girls?

Anyway, I don't care about how much a guy makes. As long as he's not constantly asking to borrow money, or he has plans/goals for a career, then it's fine with me.

About the pay inequality... it's still not completely equal in all parts of the U.S. One example is my boyfriend's mother. She has the same job as this other man there, and she's been working there for a lot longer than him...yet he gets paid more.


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## Some Russian Guy (Mar 20, 2009)

izzy said:


> And what about guys? Do you think they get a "temporary high" from rejecting girls?


I can't say for everyone... but.. I, for some strange reason, do like rejecting... I don't know why... may be i'm sick and need help... but, it certainly feels better than being rejected... which I get alot :um


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

IHeartSteveMcQueen said:


> really? I was hired for a job and then when I went to another position they hired back a guy who had quit and paid him 20% more than me, which is bull**** because previously he only had 1 year of experience in that job. I only found out 2 years later though. I'm sure all the men in my office earn more than the women who aren't in managerial positions. Its a Cock company.


 maybe he did a better job than you? im my field the pay is equal. actually the pay is really based on favoritsm.


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

Some Russian Guy said:


> yup, they like to do that... I suspect that the act of rejection probably gives girls a temporary high or som like that...


why do you say that? is there anything they do to make you think that? i hate rejecting people, for anything at all. i try to be friendly about it though. if i smile when i decline i hope it doesn't seem like i am laughing or looking down on the guy. i just worry about coming off as a ***** or just cold since i tend to seem that way when i'm anxious, which i always am in those situations.


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

It seems like Melissa is more ready to admit the exchange of money for a relationship that Kyle is. I'm glad so many of you (guys and girls) are not like this.


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## adi1909 (Jan 1, 2010)

Haydsmom2007 said:


> My boyfriend has been basically broke ever since we started dating a year ago. So there you go.
> 
> He's having a hard time, he's been trying to get his business up and running and it hasn't really caught hook yet. But I'm not dating him for his money. I'm going to school for a reason. To get a job and make my own money.


I was really impressed !!

Wish most of the girls thought like this 

So what was it actually that impressed you about his at first... really curious :yes


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

I don't care about money. I get turned off when a guy brags about how much money he has, or what expensive stuff he buys. I just want to know who he is. If he's a good person, then that's all that matters.


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## Cosmin (Mar 16, 2007)




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## illlaymedown (Oct 6, 2009)

I've always been poor and money hasn't been my number one priority in life. So I'd like that he is at least trying to support and take care of himself, but money's not a huge deal breaker. If I got married I'd prefer we each give our part in all aspects even money all the way to time and love and all other things. I'd also like to have enough to not struggle anymore and live, don't need an over-abundance.


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## whiterabbit (Jan 20, 2006)

My opinion is worth nothing on this subject, but I would be quite happy with somebody who not only doesn't have a lot of money, but even lacks the ambition or skills to do anything more than a crappy minimum wage job in life. That's where I am too. I don't think a lack of ambition to earn a lot of money really makes anyone a terribly unworthy person.

Also, if I miraculously manage to find myself a good job one day, I would be more than willing to be somebody's sugar mama.


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## Tangent (Jul 1, 2009)

whiterabbit said:


> My opinion is worth nothing on this subject, but I would be quite happy with somebody who not only doesn't have a lot of money, but even lacks the ambition or skills to do anything more than a crappy minimum wage job in life. That's where I am too. I don't think a lack of ambition to earn a lot of money really makes anyone a terribly unworthy person.
> 
> Also, if I miraculously manage to find myself a good job one day, I would be more than willing to be somebody's sugar mama.


I like this post


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## liarsclub (Aug 23, 2008)

Tangent said:


> I like this post


I really like that post too. I would like to replace my words with those. Anyway money drivenness can be a rather unattractive quality I guess. I loved that sugar mama comment. That just affected my heart.


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## Indigo Flow (Oct 3, 2009)

i am definately atrracted to wealthy people but it really depends on the person, i've liked people who haven't had jobs, you say that your a jobless student but i've known people your age who are also jobless students and i've been attracted to them, and you make it sound like your really old, i think 23 is still quite young and lots of people at my university are older than you.


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

I find it odd when people mention each partner contributing equally when it comes to money. Is this assuming that they live together?

I've known and know of enough relationships where the guy is broke or makes less than the girl (this includes myself), but the truth is that it is still more likely that the guy ends up as the "breadwinner" or whatever you want to call it, and so many times I see the boyfriend buying all of the drinks and paying for things. I look at this more with curiosity than anything else. My girlfriend pays for more than I am even comfortable with so I'm not bitter.



Indigo Flow said:


> i am definately atrracted to wealthy people but it really depends on the person, i've liked people who haven't had jobs, you say that your a jobless student but i've known people your age who are also jobless students and i've been attracted to them, and you make it sound like your really old, i think 23 is still quite young and lots of people at my university are older than you.


What about an unemployed non-student of the same age? When I was 21, I had more money than most college students my age that I knew. Considering how much I worked, I was basically unemployed compared to the average full-time employed person of the same age.

It's funny how people have this "but you're in school" way of seeing things. I never went to college and I think that's why I don't understand it. I mainly just did what I wanted and what I was comfortable with, despite outside pressures. There is this whole guise of "doing something" that made absolutely no sense to me back then. Is there an assumption that something is going on in the brain then, that this part of life is very unique and special, that makes it okay to not be employed (even if a good deal of that time is spent drinking/smoking weed, watching movies, playing video games and going to concerts), but you better have a job when you're 30? I think it's definitely a time in your life where you can get away with certain things more and that's all it is. 22-year-old guy smoking pot, talking pseudo intellectual or other random BS at social gathering -- potentially awesome guy (then) that may have many girlfriends depending on confidence, social connections and possibly modern electronic device(s) possession. Around a decade later -- not so great. I've noticed that college students talk about things in a certain way, often in regards to what people are doing. I exist in a totally different realm. I could give two flying s---s what anyone is doing with their life. In fact, I like it when people are unemployed, are aimless and have no direction. Anyway, by reading Inidgo Flow's post, it almost seems like there is this assumption that as long as you are a student it's okay. You're in the college attending world or not and things are more understandable. This a world I was never familiar with.


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

yea to be honest i don't even relate to those who say they want someone at least with goals, direction, aren't lazy, etc. the laziness would only be negative if i couldn't drag them off the couch to get up and do something or if they had mice in the house from never cleaning and such. other than that, i'm not sure why it should be a turn-off. if i was living with someone i would still want them to provide an equal amount into expenses and work around the house, but they can still have a job and be clueless, unmotivated, and lazy. it's different when there are long-term plans within the relationship (having kids, buying a house), though.


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## kitterbug (Oct 25, 2007)

In my experience, men with wealth are materialistic %@&!'s. I met a guy years ago who made good money. I didn't start dating him because of that. He was charming and funny at first, and we enjoyed spending time together. But overtime i realized he could be a complete jerk. We broke up for a year. Then i found him crawling back after losing his job, moving back home, got into drugs and overdosed having a near death experience. He called me when he got clean. He said i was the first thing he thought about every morning. We began talking again and then fell madly in love with each other. He found another job eventually making a lot less. He was much more down to earth then. Our realtionship was fantastic. Then after about another year, he found another good paying job and i moved with him out of state. Then everything went downhill. Instead of saving up money for our future, he bought a PS3 (when it first came out) and all the games available. He bought only the most expensive things, and always took me out to dinner. Which was cool but, it wasn't necessary. I think he was enjoying showing me, a poor girl, all the wonderful things i was missing out on? Thats all he wanted to buy was expensive electronics and crap we didn't really need. I would get yelled at when i spent the money he gave me to buy essentials like... a garbage can for the kitchen, and a shower curtain for the tub when we first moved in the the apt. WTF? Because i wasn't as financially successful, he then became very critical of me. I wasn't contributing enough. He was "better" then me and i was "lucky to have him". He often insulted my intelligence and dubbed me socially pathetic. As if social anxiety isn't bad enough, he blamed me to all ends for having it and being a FREAK. Another year went buy and we had one hell of a breakup. My dad had to drive down 3 hrs and help move me out and now i'm back at home. I guess he's now with some chick who makes good money and they just built a brand new house together. Doesn't surprise me one bit. Some evil part of me deep down inside makes me wish he gets back into drugs and ruins it all. Mean huh?

I missed the kind, sweet, wholesome guy i had before who treated me well. That all went away when he made $$$. Greed? Arrogance? No thanks.

Then i met a guy who went to school, but didn't have a job. Made money by mowing lawns around the neighborhood and doing handyman work. We fell in love, and i knew he is the kind of guy I'd want to marry  He hand made me a jewelry box and a picture frame. Money couldn't buy the same things and make them as special.

I could give a less crap about money.


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## Prakas (Aug 26, 2009)

oh crap...I should stop going broke on buying new cars


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## lonelygirl88 (Dec 25, 2009)

for me it's not 'money', it's ambition. sometimes the two can go hand in hand, so many confuse the two, but they really are very different. as for what girls usually look for: it usually comes from what they are exposed to and what kind of lifestyle they come from. sometimes girls seek things they lacked growing up, others seek to maintain their prior lifestyle, while others don't care because they do not know the difference. there really is no 'accurate' poll. 
the most important thing is to earn money by enjoying what your doing- and nothing else really matters.


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## slkjao (Aug 5, 2009)

the evolutionary theory explains a lot if u believe in it. men look for young beautiful partners to mate with because they provide healthy offspring. women look for a man who is assertive and can take care of her and stuff. But nowadays men also look for women who are financially stable you can definitely say more then the 50s. 

So ultimately in conclusion everyone loves money. It is like paper blood you cant live without it. Its not good to have too much i guess cause it can(not saying it will but can) drive someone to do crazy **** like for example if your rich and then all of a sudden u start losing money. Changing life styles can be extremely difficult no? Greed can take control of someones mind till the point where they have no free will. but yet you need some to be happy.


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## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

whiterabbit said:


> My opinion is worth nothing on this subject, but I would be quite happy with somebody who not only doesn't have a lot of money, but even lacks the ambition or skills to do anything more than a crappy minimum wage job in life. That's where I am too. I don't think a lack of ambition to earn a lot of money really makes anyone a terribly unworthy person.


That's reassuring.



kitterbug said:


> He hand made me a jewelry box and a picture frame. Money couldn't buy the same things and make them as special.


Hand made stuff is good.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

oh, so much. so, So much that I make my own.


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