# What to say to women to get their numbers/dates



## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

I never know what to say so I say nothing. Help me get a girlfriend guys.


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## jane (Jan 30, 2006)

Are you looking for other 40 year old Texan woman?


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

No, I prefer women in their 20s. More specifically ebony women.


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

Yo, baby. It's good that I have a library card cause I was just checkin you out. 

Not really the best approach, but just go up to say hi my name's _____. It's nice to meet you. Then ask if you can have her number so that you can give her a call later so that the two of you can hang out sometime.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

I use the david de angelo: Hey youre attracted to me give me your number."


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## herb the dolphin (Mar 26, 2010)

Maybe you could say 'I'd really like to lose my virginity-- in fact, it's all I think about. You seem to be a woman, so I thought you could help me out'.


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## PickaxeMellie (Jan 22, 2010)

What not to say: "Hey baby, we all have these urges..." This was how my grandmother was proposed to by her former husband. The fact that I say "husband" means that it worked. But it's a risky one.

Honestly, women don't mind giving you their numbers. And if they do, you don't want to be with them anyway. Why? Because they are aloof, and in the long run, would end up being high-maintenance. Go with being yourself. Just say something like, "Hey, there's a show coming up on Wednesday, and I was wondering if you would like to go? You can give me a call if you want." And then give them YOUR number. 

Just something to remember: our planet is filled with lonely people. With the exception of hermits, almost everyone is looking for acceptance from others. If you can honestly convey that you relate to a woman, she will more than likely want to talk to you again. And, in my experience, this usually works with men as well. It's easy to believe that women control the dating process, because it's a myth the media has constructed for us. But as you'll see here, this forum has just as many single women as men. And if you accept this as a cross-section of society, the myth is busted. 

Long story short, there are three easy steps to successfully talking to women. 1. Love yourself. 2. Be honest. 3. Try not to be afraid.

Of course, if you just want to bang hot chicks, disregard everything I've just said.


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

What do I say to get hot chicks? How can I get a friend with benefits?


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

mbp86 said:


> What do I say to get hot chicks? How can I get a friend with benefits?


Good luck, I think you need to ask some different questions. Any chick isnt going to just jump into bed with you because you have a great line. I am pretty sure it has less to do with what you say and more to do with how you say it and how you put yourself across. idk just my thoughts.


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

matty said:


> Good luck, I think you need to ask some different questions. Any chick isnt going to just jump into bed with you because you have a great line. I am pretty sure it has less to do with what you say and more to do with how you say it and how you put yourself across. idk just my thoughts.


Alright so how do I say it? "Hey babe, let me put my thing in ya." ::Smiles while saying it in a slightly jokingly matter::


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## Mike1983 (May 24, 2010)

you cant just say something and expect to get a girl or friends with benefits. You have to try and meet women at work tends to be the easiest. Get to know them a bit, chatting daily. After a couple weeks, it will be a lot easier to ask them out, or for their number. If they are interested you should be able to tell from chatting.

Women are good at realizing that a guy is interested in them. If she is seeing someone, or even isn't, she will usually mention her "boyfriend" casually as she talks to you.

If she hasn't said anything about a boyfriend after a few chats, just tell her that you would like to take her out sometime.


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## foodie (Apr 27, 2010)

dude everyday u post about girl related probs...you should be focused on other things...making friends with lots of girls then trying to hook up with them...btw not tryna be rude...anywho...

most girls know right off the bat if they are interested in giving you there number....u really dont have to say a word if you ask me...its not even about what you say...its all about ur body language..and ur attitude...if a hood dude try to approach me right from there i would be like "**** no"..but if someone that seems sincere walked up and i didnt run away because of the contact then i would give him my number(well supposeing I was in a good mood)...and all u have to say is light things just something u notice her doing...just small comments...if she takes it from there she is interested u can see it in her eyes and tone of voice...but some girls like myself...would comment and run clean out the way lol....im avoidant even with the ones im interested in so self conscious...anywho..

body language and attitude is key!!!! and just small talk for about a couple of minutes then bam ask her for her number...thats it really...hope this helps


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

mbp86 said:


> Alright so how do I say it? "Hey babe, let me put my thing in ya." ::Smiles while saying it in a slightly jokingly matter::


Your awesome. No such thing as starting small with you. I hope you have a bucket load of confidence to pull that off. And be prepared for the knock backs.

One of my friends went to the city one night and said it is just a numbers game. If I ask enough women I will go home with someone tonight... his line was "how bout it?" Yes he went home with a girl that night.


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

matty said:


> One of my friends went to the city one night and said it is just a numbers game. If I ask enough women I will go home with someone tonight... his line was "how bout it?" Yes he went home with a girl that night.


I don't think that works here in America.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

I just wrote a blog about this:

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...vercome-the-bulk-of-dating-relationship-3199/


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

mbp86 said:


> I don't think that works here in America.


Pretty sure it would. But it is the type of person which is doing it. He has no problem talking to anyone. A night out with him and I have interacted with 10 times the amount of people as what I would have alone. One time he did the 'how I met your mother' line.. "have you met matt yet" lol was the most awkward thing ever but it was fun.


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

What makes him unique? I want to be just like him. Does he dress different than the other guys? What openers does he say to women?


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

Want to know the best part. He dresses like you or me, he looks normal and he doesnt stand out. You could be him, from the outside he is no one special. But he has awesome social skills and no fear in social situations. It all comes down to how you hold yourself and your personality.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

mbp86 said:


> Alright so how do I say it? "Hey babe, let me put my thing in ya." ::Smiles while saying it in a slightly jokingly matter::


I wouldn't advise it.


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

matty said:


> Want to know the best part. He dresses like you or me, he looks normal and he doesnt stand out. You could be him, from the outside he is no one special. But he has awesome social skills and no fear in social situations. It all comes down to how you hold yourself and your personality.


I want you to record his interaction with a female and post the dialogue for me.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

Thats it, he doesnt use openers or lines. He just comments on things happening there and then. Like someone is looking in the song book to sing at karaoke, so he suggests songs, obviously bad ones or funny ones and it builds from there. Or someone spills a drink and he makes a comment or a joke. He doesnt go out to pick up, he goes out to have fun. At the end of the day there is nothing holding him back in his mind. He says what he wants.


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

I can make comments about my surroundings but I don't know how to turn it towards getting to know the person better or getting her number without it coming off as completely random.

Example: Girl looking bored at work
Me: You're bored too huh? I can't stand this job.
Girl: Me neither...
Me: Yeah, well can I get your number?


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

I think you missed a few steps inbetween.


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## foodie (Apr 27, 2010)

im bored so i need a laugh ok here it goes

btw that screen play scenerio of urs SUCKed!!!

BTW i would approach a girl at work!!!!!!!! bad *** place to start realtionship but if u truly like her then just take interest in her as a person and take it from there...

anywho here goes another scenerio...

Girl alone at the library...

You: (ur checkin gout what book/movie she looking at)...O I seen that. I'm warning you don't get it.
Her: O why you say that?
You: It just stupid. blah blah blah blah
Her: O ok ill wont then
You: So what movies are u interested in...
Her: blah blah blha
you: so who do u usualy watch the scary movies with
her: alone or with my family
you: you shouldn't be wacthin scary movies alone...I can't watch it alone i hae to have my bro or mom or whoever watch it with me...
her: girl giggles(key thing u HAVE TO MAKE HER LAUGH!!!!!)
you: well since im scared to watch it alone and maybe u could keep me company one day...
her: aw sure then bam whats ur number.,... blah blha blha

im so bored lol...i hoped this humured u at the least lol

btw cool places to pic up chicks...

library..around the library...the mall...volunteering...class...some sort of hobby class...(swim class hott chicks in bikini's) dude im tired not but yeah this prob didnt help but again im bored...u just have to show that ur interested thats it...it all depends on where you guys meet...then make small talk about anything!!! I wish u luck


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

Let me try a scenario at a place I'm at often.

[Girl looking confused on an aisle]

Me: Hello, you need help finding something?
Girl: Where can I find popcorn?
Me: Aisle 14, let me show you where its at.
Girl: Ok
Me: So, how was your day today?
Girl: It was good.
Me: Cool, my day just got better.
Girl: Aww, you're so adorable.
Me: I know, my name is mbp86 btw.
Girl: My name is foodie.
Me: That's a pretty name. Speaking of pretty, you look lovely.
Girl: Thanks
Me: Well here is the popcorn, can I get your number?
Girl: Ok
Me: Since you got the popcorn now, how about I go to your house and watch a movie with you.
Girl: Ok


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## Mr. Frostie (Nov 2, 2008)

"So you want to like get together sometime and have sex or what?"


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

Mr. Frostie said:


> "So you want to like get together sometime and have sex or what?"


Girl: Umm, I have a boyfriend.
Me: I'm ok with a threesome.


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## foodie (Apr 27, 2010)

see thats what im talking about ur game got better boy watch out!!! damn i should be a dating coach i try to help out my best friend when i can lol..anywho u tryna flirt with me or what if so that was pretty good...im sure if that scenerio would have happened you would have got the number and the date!!! :b:boogie:teeth:clap:high5:wink:blush:yay


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

mbp86 said:


> Girl: Umm, I have a boyfriend.
> Me: I'm ok with a threesome.


:lol


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

Me: Hi you look nice today
Her: Thank you, that is soo sweet of you
Me: So could I possibly get your number I need to escort a beautiful maiden to the BattleStar Galactica convention next week?
Her: Uhhhh....
Kid: Mommy who is this man?
Me: FML!


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

Women are having kids way too young these days.


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## herb the dolphin (Mar 26, 2010)

I find it fascinating how mbp86 can be such a complete ******* interested only in his own sexual gratification, and yet so adorably naive. 

Unfortunate for him, I'm a guy.


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

Big deal, I think about sex all of the time. Sue me...


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## herb the dolphin (Mar 26, 2010)

^^^Maybe you should have a day where you think about anything except sex.


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

herb the dolphin said:


> ^^^Maybe you should have a day where you think about anything except sex.


Perhaps if I was female that would be possible.


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## herb the dolphin (Mar 26, 2010)

I've got one:

'I just want you to know that everyone in this bar has AIDS except me.'


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

joinmartin said:


> I really shouldn't admit to this but here goes: I moved to a new city last year and walked past this shop. Two very pretty women were working behind the counter. So I walked all the way home and changed into a T shirt which said "Edinburgh" on it. Now, the city I had moved to was Cardiff. You'll see why I did this in a moment.
> 
> Anyway, I went in to the shop and introduced myself to the women. And I shouldn't be admitting to this either but I made a joke about how my Mum was constantly on the phone to me asking if I'd met anyone in my new home city yet. Now, my Mum always says: "don't you drag me into your meeting women stuff" and she's not the most conventional of wing-women around. Anyway, I told this joke to the women in the shop and used it as a way of introducing myself. I then used the joke about my T shirt saying how it was rather funny that I was wearing an Edinburgh T shirt in Cardiff and I happened to be an Englishman.
> 
> ...


Great story  I may try to use your mum as a wing - woman :lol

Interacting with people doesnt have to have a purpose of sex or friendship. Just because you dont pick up doesnt mean you havent learnt something or gained something.


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## PHD in Ebonics (Jan 5, 2010)

BetaBoy90 said:


> Me: Hi you look nice today
> Her: Thank you, that is soo sweet of you
> Me: So could I possibly get your number I need to escort a beautiful maiden to the BattleStar Galactica convention next week?
> Her: Uhhhh....
> ...


LMAO!:clap


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## malaise (Aug 18, 2009)

foodie said:


> im bored so i need a laugh ok here it goes
> 
> btw that screen play scenerio of urs SUCKed!!!
> 
> ...


Ha, that's a cute one! Would work on me. Once a guy came up to me and handed me a note, it said :

Hi, my name is (____). 
I would like to be your friend. 
If you don't hate me, please call me at this number: ###-####.

It was pretty cute. If you are too nervous to talk to the girl you could always try slipping her a note.


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

I give up. It requires too much game for me.


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## jane (Jan 30, 2006)

mbp86 said:


> I give up. It requires too much game for me.


It's not about game, or manipulations, or trickery, or begging, or chasing, or convincing- it's about the normal interaction between people.

You work, right? How about chatting with some male co-workers? Get to know them, and if they are nice or share a similar interest, arrange to meet after work: go for drinks, watch sports, or whatever it is men do. Why don't you learn to interact with others- because right now, it seems like you don't really have a clue.


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

Jane, how about you give me an example of how a man has approached you? What was his opener? How did he steer the conversation towards finding out more about you? How long did he talk to you before asking you out? etc.

I've never seen a guy ask out a woman so I am clueless.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

mbp86 said:


> I give up. It requires too much game for me.


You got this whole 'PUA' crap just loaded in your head. Get rid of it! You meet women by having normal conversations with them. There is no need for 'game'. You say hi, they say hi back; you chit chat/shoot the breeze; you ask if you could call them sometime/take them out, and that is that.

As easy as I made that seem, I know it is tough if you have no experience. I've struggled with the same stuff you are for a very long time and still am learning. The best way to get better is to try it for yourself.


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

bwidger85 said:


> You got this whole 'PUA' crap just loaded in your head. Get rid of it! You meet women by having normal conversations with them. There is no need for 'game'. You say hi, they say hi back; you chit chat/shoot the breeze; you ask if you could call them sometime/take them out, and that is that.
> 
> As easy as I made that seem, I know it is tough if you have no experience. I've struggled with the same stuff you are for a very long time and still am learning. The best way to get better is to try it for yourself.


Alright here is a scenario I came across today. I saw a pretty girl looking at meat in the meat department. How do I approach her?


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

Me: :wink

Her:uke

Me::cry

Her to Me: :squeeze

Me: :love2

Her::no

Me: :rain ...


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

BBoy, I thought you were on your way to getting a girlfriend (your friend).


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## jane (Jan 30, 2006)

Why make it all about women? You don't need to a special set of rules for talking to women-you just need to know how to talk to human beings. Over and over again, different posters suggest you talk to men, or talk to a variety of people, or talk without having some sort of ulterior motive. They're suggesting you develop basic social skills.


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

I want to learn to create attraction through my words and actions (flirting). I can't do that when talking to men or old ladies.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

BetaBoy90 said:


> Me: :wink
> 
> Her:uke
> 
> ...


Man you have my me laugh twice in two days. :lol and I think in this very thread. awesome.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

matty said:


> Man you have my me laugh twice in two days. :lol and I think in this very thread. awesome.


My suffering amuses you, well I guess you're not the only one.:b


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

Hehe sorry man.:teeth lets just call it a joke.. cause it was funny.


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

**** it just ban me


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## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

PickaxeMellie said:


> What not to say: "Hey baby, we all have these urges..." This was how my grandmother was proposed to by her former husband. The fact that I say "husband" means that it worked. But it's a risky one.
> 
> Honestly, women don't mind giving you their numbers. And if they do, you don't want to be with them anyway. Why? Because they are aloof, and in the long run, would end up being high-maintenance. Go with being yourself. Just say something like, "Hey, there's a show coming up on Wednesday, and I was wondering if you would like to go? You can give me a call if you want." And then give them YOUR number.
> 
> ...


These are some good points. Its often said that dating advice _from women about women_ is usually a trick .. but this seems good.

Especially the part about getting a number. The kind of woman who, even after talking to you for a few days, is reluctant to give you her #, is unrealistic, and will be high maintenance in any case.


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

*hmm*

Speaking of Pick up, I've just spent a bit of time listening to a top UK pick up artist talking about how weird it was when he could go out and approach women but he didn't have a social circle or any female friends. And I realised that I'd been thinking a few things wrong in my life. I love my female friends and I'd assumed I was "friend" guy. But I spoke to one of my female friends and discovered this wasn't the case. Of course you should have friendships with women based on who the person is and the content of their character. But if you can develop a social circle of female friends as well as male friends then women you meet will see you as someone who women are happy to be around, feel comfortable around etc. You're clearly not a sleazy guy or a jerk to women because these female friends are happy to spend time with you.

How are your beliefs about yourself? How's your self confidence and self esteem? You assume you need to learn how to flirt and create attraction which means you're presupposing that the women you meet won't be or aren't attracted to you to begin with.

Attraction is fluid, subjective, relative and sometimes unpredictable. Detach yourself from the outcome. Because otherwise you have to get numbers or get sex in order to feel good about yourself. Which means you'll filter out all the positives and good things about any interaction if it doesn't lead to a number or to sex. And if you're doing what I think you're doing- using all this to validate yourself as a man- it's even more dangerous.

I am no expert on women or attraction and I don't know what women want. They are individuals as much as men are. But I do get quite often when I'm interested in a girl, my female friends will go talk to that girl without being asked saying things like: "oh, you should come meet this really great guy".


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## AlwaysOnTheOutside (Jan 11, 2010)

The key is to make it quick. You want to do like a hit and run so you have a very short convo, then you say you gotta go and you want her number. Shorter convos are good cause it gives you less time to **** it up.


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

I'll be back in 30 days. I need a break from this place.


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## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

I'm hoping all those one liners were jokes.... lol.
You need to talk to a girl for a minute or two MINIMUM to ask her for her number.
It's called "working for it".
Every guy who's just come up to me when I'm sitting alone somewhere said "can I have a seat.. so are you from around here .." than said "hey can i get your number.." thats not even good enough... you have to make me interested in YOU and if youre not amazing looking where girls will want you on the spot than you better show some personality. 
That's my advice


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

kathy903 said:


> I'm hoping all those one liners were jokes.... lol.
> You need to talk to a girl for a minute or two MINIMUM to ask her for her number.
> It's called "working for it".
> Every guy who's just come up to me when I'm sitting alone somewhere said "can I have a seat.. so are you from around here .." than said "hey can i get your number.." thats not even good enough... you have to make me interested in YOU and if youre not amazing looking where girls will want you on the spot than you better show some personality.
> That's my advice


That's good advice. So many times have I asked prematurely for a number WITHOUT getting to know a girl and things hardly follow through. It's an easy concept. I don't know why I don't follow it more. I need to.


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## AlwaysOnTheOutside (Jan 11, 2010)

kathy903 said:


> I'm hoping all those one liners were jokes.... lol.
> You need to talk to a girl for a minute or two MINIMUM to ask her for her number.
> It's called "working for it".
> Every guy who's just come up to me when I'm sitting alone somewhere said "can I have a seat.. so are you from around here .." than said "hey can i get your number.." thats not even good enough... you have to make me interested in YOU and if youre not amazing looking where girls will want you on the spot than you better show some personality.
> That's my advice


Nooooo that's what women say. Guys, don't listen to women!! Terrible advice. I got a date out of a 45 second approach before and I didn't tell her anything about me! The quicker the better, don't let kathy dupe you!


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

AlwaysOnTheOutside said:


> Nooooo that's what women say. Guys, don't listen to women!! Terrible advice. I got a date out of a 45 second approach before and I didn't tell her anything about me! The quicker the better, don't let kathy dupe you!


I don't think she's trying to 'dupe' anyone. I don't think her advice goes for all women, but I have had women tell me they hardly knew anything about me when I asked for their numbers early. I've also got numbers fairly quickly as well. I think it can work either way, but I think talking to a girl for a few minutes minimum is a whole lot better than walking up to someone and asking for a number without having any convo.


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## AlwaysOnTheOutside (Jan 11, 2010)

bwidger85 said:


> I don't think she's trying to 'dupe' anyone. I don't think her advice goes for all women, but I have had women tell me they hardly knew anything about me when I asked for their numbers early. I've also got numbers fairly quickly as well. I think it can work either way, but I think talking to a girl for a few minutes minimum is a whole lot better than walking up to someone and asking for a number without having any convo.


Yes, you need some convo, but 1-2 mins is plenty. You don't want to waste time - she's going off first impression anyways.


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## jane (Jan 30, 2006)

AlwaysOnTheOutside said:


> The key is to make it quick. You want to do like a hit and run so you have a very short convo, then you say you gotta go and you want her number. Shorter convos are good cause it gives you less time to **** it up.


It absolutely astounds me that there are men who are willing to date anything that's breathing- as long as she's semi-conventionally good looking.

Seriously, why would you want to waste two hours and, I don't know, 20$ on a date, when you could talk to a person for 15 minutes and eliminate all the obviously mean or stupid people you have absolutely nothing in common with?? When you think that anybody in a skirt is worth your time, I don't think it reflects well on your self-esteem.

It almost seems kind of desperate to me.


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## AlwaysOnTheOutside (Jan 11, 2010)

jane said:


> It absolutely astounds me that there are men who are willing to date anything that's breathing- as long as she's semi-conventionally good looking.
> 
> Seriously, why would you want to waste two hours and, I don't know, 20$ on a date, when you could talk to a person for 15 minutes and eliminate all the obviously mean or stupid people you have absolutely nothing in common with?? When you think that anybody in a skirt is worth your time, I don't think it reflects well on your self-esteem.
> 
> It almost seems kind of desperate to me.


You're making the assumption that I would take a girl out on a date for 2 hours and spend $20. I won't in most circumstances. She will have to agree to what I want to do on the date or there is no date, and that certainly doesn't involve free dinner. Just because I have a girl's number doesn't mean we are going on a date. It means she is an option.


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

"hey you look hot, give me your #"


Its guaranteed to work on at least a small % of women.


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## Gots2live2 (Jun 16, 2010)

PickaxeMellie said:


> What not to say: "Hey baby, we all have these urges..." This was how my grandmother was proposed to by her former husband. The fact that I say "husband" means that it worked. But it's a risky one.
> 
> Honestly, women don't mind giving you their numbers. And if they do, you don't want to be with them anyway. Why? Because they are aloof, and in the long run, would end up being high-maintenance. Go with being yourself. Just say something like, "Hey, there's a show coming up on Wednesday, and I was wondering if you would like to go? You can give me a call if you want." And then give them YOUR number.
> 
> ...


I don't think that it's a good idea to give girls ur number.Back in the day before this SA thing kicked in,I went girl crazy for a minute and hit on girls all the time.Every time I got their number I would hook up with them or at least get to talk to them.When I gave them my number and played it safe they wouldn't call back.My roommates were real players and experimented for a month with this "giving a girl ur number theory" didn't work.Maybe it only works if ur real good looking,got crazy game or if u find a rare girl that is different.The reality is that "Most" girls are not used to rejection and won't risk it on a stranger they kinda like.When she has guys trying to call her all the time


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## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

AlwaysOnTheOutside said:


> Nooooo that's what women say. Guys, don't listen to women!! Terrible advice. I got a date out of a 45 second approach before and I didn't tell her anything about me! The quicker the better, don't let kathy dupe you!


Yes it can work sometimes, but it's completely superficial. Least talking for a couple mins you can pick up on their vibes/personality a bit more.. and women arn't as visually aroused as men (so I've heard) and perhaps a little more conversation helps the romance happen for us I guess??
But anyways, to each's own. 
Just saying all my girlfriends and me prefer men to work a bit for our #'s.


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## Squizzy (Dec 21, 2004)

For me, I would be very flattered if someone said, "Hello, my name is X, and you seem interesting/pretty. I'd like to get to know you better, can I offer you dinner?" or something like that. Because of my shyness and SA those witty lines catch me off guard and make me anxious because I don't know how to respond.


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## AlwaysOnTheOutside (Jan 11, 2010)

Squizzy said:


> For me, I would be very flattered if someone said, "Hello, my name is X, and you seem interesting/pretty. I'd like to get to know you better, can I offer you dinner?" or something like that. Because of my shyness and SA those witty lines catch me off guard and make me anxious because I don't know how to respond.


Most girls are caught off guard and anxious so you aren't alone. That's why I advocate the quick approach...hit and run works well, you get her number before she knows what hit her.


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## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)

lol I have no idea. Obviously I'm not good at that.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

kathy903 said:


> Yes it can work sometimes, but it's completely superficial. Least talking for a couple mins you can pick up on their vibes/personality a bit more.. and women arn't as visually aroused as men (so I've heard) and perhaps a little more conversation helps the romance happen for us I guess??
> But anyways, to each's own.
> Just saying all my girlfriends and me prefer men to work a bit for our #'s.


I used to only focus on getting dates and numbers but the more dates I got and the more strange girls I met the more I focus on personality and how we 'click' rather than getting somewhere.

It took me a while to find out what and who 'clicks' with me anyway. I used to think that clicking with someone meant that you have a uncontrollable connection with someone. Now I see it is simply someone who fits what your looking for and someone I can talk to and feel trust. Now that I understand more of what I want, I have an easier time weeding through girls who wouldn't be right for me. This is why talking a bit first is good for both people, but it doesn't always have to work this way either.


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## lanzman (Jun 14, 2004)

I find just saying "Hi, my name is "blank"" works best. Just be yourself and don't try to put on any act or use any cheesy lines. You'll then attract someone your truly compatible with. Also, don't try to hard to make something happen. Just approach women the same way you would anyone you want to be friends with. It helps the nerves if you go into it not caring too much if things work out, or not.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

I don't believe interrupting women in their daily activities like shopping or working is the best way to meet anyone, at least not for those with social problems. For one, you have no idea whether she's attached, even if she's wearing a ring. Also, it seems to me that you're more likely to be viewed as a nuisance. 

It would be thrilling to at least try and talk to a woman in such a situation, but I don't know if I could do it. A few months ago I was seriously considering introducing myself to a cashier who was average-cute and whom I had had several times in the past at the register. But after "Hi, I'm ___", I couldn't come up with anything else to say, so I stayed quiet.

If you're going to try and meet someone cold, talking to a cashier, information person or someone at that level at their job is preferable to annoying someone who is shopping in the aisles. If it's a store or library you frequent, you can introduce yourself and maybe chit chat about something. Then when you see each other again, or after several times, you've developed a talking relationship at least and can perhaps suggest getting a number. What do you all say?


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## lanzman (Jun 14, 2004)

MichaelWesten said:


> Grocery stores are a great place to meet women. There's a lot less pressure and there's a lot of things you could talk about.


Like, "Do you like long or short bananas?".


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## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

lanzman said:


> Like, "*Do you like long or short bananas?*".


Reminds me of the joke in 40 y/o virgin, when Andy asked a random chick if she has a truck for him to park his bike in.
The sarcasm is that he really does have a bike.


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