# Ladies (and guys), what would your reaction be...?



## CourtneyB (Jul 31, 2010)

if a guy said he "uses" you (thinks of you) to get off?

And guys, what if the situation was reversed and she admitted thinking of you? Have you ever admitted to a girl you use her as "fuel"?
(Don't want to get reprimanded by a mod for being too blunt...:um)
EDIT: I've had a few guys admit "using" me and I want to know if my reaction is shared. I always worry that if I give a positive reaction he'll take that as a sign I want more than a friendship or whatever our relationship may be.


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

I guess it would depend on the guy but I would be flattered in all honesty.


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## twocrows (Jul 19, 2011)

As long as he wasnt a big creep, I would be somewhat flattered but (if he wasn't your boyfriend/sugar daddy) disgusted by his manners


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

I can't believe any guy would tell a woman that, especially if he's not dating her (and I assume that's what you're talking about, "CourtneyB" -- guys you aren't dating).


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## nazgul (Sep 18, 2011)

If a girl told me that i would be flattered too .If i'm not interested in the person i would say thanks and smile,then immediately change topic. Otherwise if i liked the girl, i would ask what they were fantasizing about specifically..

I have told girls before that I was fantasizing/daydreaming about them but never told them i used them as 'fuel' even though i might have.


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## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

I would never dream of admitting this to anyone I wasn't dating.


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## The Silent 1 (Aug 21, 2011)

Wow, I can't believe you've actually had multiple non bfs tell you this. I've never heard of anyone doing that. How does that even come up? If a girl told me this, I would be very flattered, but I can't imagine why she would unless she was propositioning me.


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

^^ That's the reason for doing it. It's a roundabout yet at the same time blunt way of telling the person you want to have sex with them. And who doesn't want to be desired?


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## GunnyHighway (Sep 28, 2010)

If a girl told me, I'd be flattered and blushing out of control. I don't think a girl would feel the same if I told them though. I'd never say it though unless it was like, a mutual thing.


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## Fantas Eyes (Mar 23, 2011)

If any guy told me that I would be disturbed. (Maybe a little bit flattered.)


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## Elleire (Jul 24, 2011)

Depends. If it were said by someone who I'd already been having flirty, sexually-charged conversations with, I'd be flattered. Any other scenario, I'd likely be, erm, freaked out. :um


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## watashi (Feb 6, 2008)

That would be very awkward. I'd be wondering if they are thinking about it everytime I saw them.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

CourtneyB said:


> And guys, what if the situation was reversed and she admitted thinking of you?


My chest would swell with pride.



CourtneyB said:


> Have you ever admitted to a girl you use her as "fuel"?


I have never used any girl I know as "fuel". Freely available porn means you don't have to use your imagination as much.


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## CynicalOptimist (Dec 31, 2010)

I would probably be somewhat flattered if it was a guy I was dating/in a relationship with. If not, it would air on the creepy (and possibly perverted) side if from a friend, acquaintance, or a random.


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## equiiaddict (Jun 27, 2006)

As long as they aren't creepy about it, I'd be flattered. I've had guys admit this to me when we haven't even been dating, so it doesn't really gross me out me or anything like that.


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## WalkingDisaster (Nov 27, 2010)

If a girl said that to me it would be a massive ego boost (providing they weren't joking). Also, if it was a girl I was attracted to it would be good for obvious reasons.


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## The Silent 1 (Aug 21, 2011)

JennaMarie said:


> As long as they aren't creepy about it, I'd be flattered. I've had guys admit this to me when we haven't even been dating, so it doesn't really gross me out me or anything like that.


It just seems like a really odd way to compliment someone. If they want to tell you your attractive, why not just say that? As DI said I couldn't see it being anything other than letting someone know you want to sleep with them.


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## UniversalPolymath (Jun 3, 2011)

Depends on who it is, how I know her, and in what context we're speaking.

I'd never think of saying that to another gal, though. Jeez.


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## Famous (Sep 6, 2011)

Re the original Question:
I would know she was lying, or ...
disturbed.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

Speaking as someone who's never gotten the slightest expression of female interest, I would be over the moon if a girl said that to me. Even if it were really crude and 'creepy', I would still be thrilled to death. The idea that someone finds me desirable - that I have some kind of chance - makes all the difference in the world.

EDIT: And I would never admit to a girl that I pleasured myself to her unless we were already relatively comfortable with each other, I knew she liked me like that, and if we were drunk.


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## Stilla (May 13, 2009)

It would be kind of weird if someone I wasn't involved with said that...
Intriguing... but weird.


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## layitontheline (Aug 19, 2009)

i'd secretly be flattered and pleased. my outward reaction would depend on who it was though.


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

I'd be amused, and flattered I guess.

And obviously I'd never tell a female I used her as my _fuel_, unless she said it first.


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## nkprasad12 (Aug 27, 2011)

People actually go out and SAY that? Wow. Never saw that coming. If I girl said that to me I think I'd be slightly self-conscious around that person but quite honestly I'd be ecstatic that a girl found me attractive.


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## Syndacus (Aug 9, 2011)

I play hard to get for most women. Had this one girl wanted to just randomly screw me to see what its like to get with an asian guy, and I blew her off. Granted she was kinda hot, but she was like the village bicycle. I have trust issues and it takes awhile for me to allow anyone into my personal life. Usually we start off being friends first and go from there. 

Most of the time, when girls say they want to get with or outright tell me they love me out of nowhere, I scoff at them and then ask them, "So what about me that you love?"


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## Innamorata (Sep 20, 2011)

I'd think that they were lying and just trying to freak me out or something.


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## CourtneyB (Jul 31, 2010)

IcedOver said:


> I can't believe any guy would tell a woman that, especially if he's not dating her (and I assume that's what you're talking about, "CourtneyB" -- guys you aren't dating).


Just call me Courtney, and yes, they do, surprisingly.



nazgul said:


> If a girl told me that i would be flattered too .If i'm not interested in the person i would say thanks and smile,then immediately change topic. Otherwise if i liked the girl, i would ask what they were fantasizing about specifically..
> 
> I have told girls before that I was fantasizing/daydreaming about them but never told them i used them as 'fuel' even though i might have.


Haha such a guy answer, but it is a good answer nonetheless.



The Silent 1 said:


> Wow, I can't believe you've actually had multiple non bfs tell you this. I've never heard of anyone doing that. How does that even come up? If a girl told me this, I would be very flattered, but I can't imagine why she would unless she was propositioning me.





Double Indemnity said:


> ^^ That's the reason for doing it. It's a roundabout yet at the same time blunt way of telling the person you want to have sex with them. And who doesn't want to be desired?


It does feel good to be desired and one of those non-bfs was my friend. Hence the *was* in that sentence. He ended up not being able to stop asking and just be my friend so I had to end the friendship.



phoelomek said:


> Depends. If it were said by someone who I'd already been having flirty, sexually-charged conversations with, I'd be flattered. Any other scenario, I'd likely be, erm, freaked out. :um





OldSchoolSkater said:


> Not going to lie - as a guy I'm really creeped out by the fact that several men you are not dating or having any physical relationship with have said this to you. I would be flattered if a woman said this to me, but then I would immediately assume that she only told me because she wanted something to happen in real life.
> 
> I assume the only reason guys would admit/mention this is because they want to guage your response and see if they have a chance at "hittin that" or not.


That's what I was thinking. He wants to gauge my interest and reaction without actually asking me to f*** outright.



heroin said:


> My chest would swell with pride.
> 
> I have never used any girl I know as "fuel". Freely available porn means you don't have to use your imagination as much.


Oh you know a gorgeous real life woman is better than porn, hands down.



PiscesVixen said:


> I've had some confessions from random guys I barely knew. Just acquaintances or friend of a friend....
> 
> I was at a party once and this guy I only know by "Richard" had a few beers and then he came over to me and admitted to always being very attracted to me and some more things. I thought it was random, cause I barely knew him and we haven't talked much before.
> 
> ...


Glad to see I'm not the only one! I am just flattered and taken aback at the same time. If I wanted him too, that would be one thing, but when I don't it's hard to think of what to say that doesn't lead him on but doesn't make him feel like a perv at the same time.


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

CourtneyB said:


> And guys, what if the situation was reversed and she admitted thinking of you?


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## Ashley1990 (Aug 27, 2011)

Yaa one boy has told me two years ago..who betrayed me badly..left me for no reason
he had actually bet with his friends to get me... 
It reaaly sounds weird..
and to feel that u have been used is more weirder....


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## Tugwahquah (Apr 13, 2011)

Id think that's pitiful....:sus 

I would feel violated....:afr


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## melissa75 (Feb 16, 2010)

It's not something I'd want to hear from any random guy or friend, that's for sure. If it was a guy I was dating or at least very interested in, then I'd be flattered. But...friends (or random guys) saying that? That's just not right and downright disturbing :|.


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## CleverUsername (Feb 7, 2011)

My reaction?


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## BKrakow (Jul 8, 2010)

I'd be pretty weirded out if a non-romantic interest just came out and said that to me. flattered, yes, but still weirded out.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

I'd be flattered beyond belief, especially if she was attractive.


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## s0dy (May 23, 2011)

While it would depend on who she was...a complete stranger? an acquaintance? a friend? (not that I have any female acquaintances or friends, but you get the idea; plenty of female strangers though :b)

If they were friends/close acquaintances, I can probably sum my reaction with the following:
*5 seconds of WTF? look*
"Oh...Enjoy yourself!"

That doesn't sound very manly of me, does it? I'm a strange guy... :sus

IF I was feeling strangely out of the "claws" of whatever it is that constrains me socially (be it shyness/SA/paranoia or just being an introvert, not sure which is the right answer) and I was sexually attracted to her, I would probably say:
"I have some free time..."

(Kinda off-topic/ramble) While I DO feel frustrated for being a 24 year old male virgin, I tend to view sex as not much more than a pleasurable time waste (with certain rules and all that, but anyway...). As such I tend to talk about it in an almost casual way, hence the very "light" and casual replies in both cases. (end of kinda off-topic/ramble)

Also to be truly honest, my mind would be torn between being mildly flattered (full flattery is reserved for the moment a girl directly expresses sexual/romantic desires towards me and acts on them) and acknowledging that she was lying since no female could be attracted to me to the point of using me as a sexual fantasy protagonist.

*edit*
Oh, there was another question, if I ever told a girl that I used her as part of a sexual fantasy: no, never did it. I think most people would regard it as too blunt, if not downright rude. Since I do not elicit many positive reactions from females as it is, I ought to be careful with that kind of thing with the very few that might be brave enough to befriend me.

*edit 2*
after reading Lonelyguy's reply...
If a guy told me that, I would tell him that he was barking up the wrong tree and leave it at that. Hey, it's not like his fantasy could ever come true, I'm straight and I'm *not* thinking about "changing teams". :lol
(of course, my mind would be full of "WFT??" and "Holy *bleep*, WTF?")


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

If a woman told me something like that, I'd feel incredibly flattered...probably even turned on. If a guy told me that, I'd probably jump off a bridge. :blank


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

I like it especially if they're attractive....not so much the other way around though..


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## RockBottomRiser (Jun 5, 2011)

I can't conceive of a situation in which someone would just come out and say something like that had we not been talking along those lines already. If it was somewhat within the context of our discussion i'd be flattered.


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## ladofmad (Apr 14, 2011)

I have fantasized about a girl before but there is absolutely no way I would tell her that I did.:no Saying things like that to a girl who is not your gf is just creepy and crass. I think it's ok if you are in a relationship with the person, OTW it's nasty. 

It would be cool though if an attractive or even average girl said that to me.


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## barczyl (May 10, 2011)

If I know them or have known them for a while, and they told me then it would just be one of those "Well, that's nice. Makes me feel wanted, but....why? What is attractive about me?". Or it would just be flattering, really depends on what kind of mindset I'm in at that time.

If it was someone I didn't know at all, it would be the awkward look, saying "Uh...thanks?" and walk away.

Guys haven't done that to me, but I have been hit on at a gay bar. Hands down, they make the best drinks.


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## CourtneyB (Jul 31, 2010)

shadowmask said:


>


He is GORGEOUS. And lol at that gif


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## NoName99 (Jul 3, 2011)

If a girl told me such a thing, one of three things would happen: 1) Instant panic; or 2) I'd say, "Really? Show me what you mean..."; or 3) I'd wake up.

Actually, the three aren't mutually exclusive.

But yeah, I'd seriously be flattered... as soon as I regained consciousness.
As for me telling a girl, uh, only if it was already clear that we liked each other. Otherwise she'd probably call the cops, or run like hell. Or both, more likely. :afr


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## Witchcraft (Jan 19, 2010)

CleverUsername said:


> My reaction?


Oh my god, that's Jizz in My Pants :lol


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## River In The Mountain (Jun 6, 2011)

Having had this happen before, Id go with letting the classic awkward silence descend...


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

I've only ever said something like this to women that I was involved with or flirting heavily with in a sexually-charged way. From my experience, lots of girls like dirty talk. But they need to be attracted to you and develop a certain comfort level with you first. You shouldn't do something like that out of the blue.

Women like to be desired and they like sex just as much as guys. But they have plenty of reason to be creeped out being told this by a guy that they've only been involved with on a platonic level. It's a scary world out there for a woman.

If a girl shared me this information with me out of the blue, I would be flattered. Especially if I was attracted to her. But it's different when you are a guy.

It's interesting that you say that you are afraid of encouraging a guy by responding positively. If I flirt a girl and she says "thanks", I don't take that to mean anything. Only if she flirts back. In fact I kind of assume a girl isn't interested if she doesn't flirt back. But apparently this isn't necessarily the case if the girl is shy or just not the flirty type. Still I wouldn't think that just responding positively necessarily means interest.


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## JGreenwood (Jan 28, 2011)

I think it's funny that people are saying "If I were dating the guy, then it would be ok" If he's dating you, he's not using you when he does this. He's moving on to better fantasies. #honesty


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## regimes (Aug 24, 2011)

shadowmask said:


>


best gif ever.

i'd be super awkward and i'd probably avoid him for a while. it'd be weird. i'd secretly be flattered, but there may have to be a few weeks of zero interaction. orrr maybe forever.


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## Rosedubh (Jul 11, 2009)

It's happened to me before. It really does depend on the guy, if they're a creep or not. And you can always tell who the real creeps are. Most of the time, I'm flattered, but only because I'm flirty or romantically involved with the guy.


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## Resonance (Feb 11, 2010)

As an opener, I'd think anyone with a shred of class can do better than "hey, I fap over you", but what do I know?


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## theJdogg (Sep 18, 2009)

First, I'd be flattered if a girl or guy said that. Then I'd try to figure out a way to get some if I was in any way attracted to the person. Normally, I would be a little creeped and more discerning but I'm in a bit of a dry spell right now.

As to the op, that method seems like a weird, creepy, roundabout way to ask for sex.


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

If it was someone I was not in a relationship with, yes, I would be creeped out.

If it was my boyfriend, I would find that hot. 

(sorry, LOL have to be honest)


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## Perkins (Dec 14, 2010)

It would depend on who this was. But I would probably be flattered, in all honesty, that they thought of me as desirable and attractive and that I turned them on.


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