# Why have I been dreaming of guys so much lately?



## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

for the past two weeks ive been dreaming about guys almost every night. its really random. 

like last night i had a dream i tackled a guy and kissed him on the ground. really random

and then two nights ago i had a dream a different guy kissed me on the cheeks, but in a comforting way and totally non sexual, im not going to lie, i was sad when i woke up. 

what could be the reason for this? by the way they were all older guys whom i admire

i mean im not in love with anyone right now and i havent asked anyone out or anything or havent been thinking of any guys so why would this happen?

i understand once or twice but its been like dreams where me and a guy share physical contact like a hug or kiss for like two weeks

any meaning behind it?


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## IHeartSteveMcQueen (May 30, 2009)

I think it means you think they are hot and wanna tap that ****. plain and simple.


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## JFmtl (Dec 23, 2008)

It's time to stop looking and admiring at the food (for you, it's older men) and to actually go serve yourself a meal....


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## IHeartSteveMcQueen (May 30, 2009)

hahaha, thats actually really good advice.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

JFmtl said:


> It's time to stop looking and admiring at the food (for you, it's older men) and to actually go serve yourself a meal....


you think thats what it is? like my subconscious knowing i want older guys so i act it out in dreams? i thought of that but i wasnt sure why it was happening so much lately and if it could mean other things. thanks for your 2 cents


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## JFmtl (Dec 23, 2008)

1applehearts1 said:


> you think thats what it is? like my subconscious knowing i want older guys so i act it out in dreams? i thought of that but i wasnt sure why it was happening so much lately and if it could mean other things. thanks for your 2 cents


Well, I don't know you, and I don't know much about subconscience, dreams and such, but obviously, your dreams are likely to include people, or type of people you like and fantasy about.

Or maybe you like the idea of love/being loved by those special someone, even though you don't have a particular crush or love interest at the moment (since you have romantic but not sexual dreams).

Bottom line, in the ideal world, you would be able to seek whatever you want with people you like (as for the where and how to get it, i can't help you there however)


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

JFmtl said:


> Well, I don't know you, and I don't know much about subconscience, dreams and such, but obviously, your dreams are likely to include people, or type of people you like and fantasy about.
> 
> Or maybe you like the idea of love/being loved by those special someone, even though you don't have a particular crush or love interest at the moment (since you have romantic but not sexual dreams).
> 
> Bottom line, in the ideal world, you would be able to seek whatever you want with people you like (as for the where and how to get it, i can't help you there however)


yeah i think youre right. maybe i just need to be hugged. hahahaa, or maybe i just want male attention. who knows. :afr


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

Dreams about raping men aren't good.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

VanDamMan said:


> Dreams about raping men aren't good.


 hahaaha. very funny. i didnt dream about raping any men. i dreamt last night i pushed a guy to the ground and kissed him but that was it.


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## IHeartSteveMcQueen (May 30, 2009)

that isn't that bad.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

i think i just get so frustrated cause i dont know how to meet older guys, besides work, ha


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

A few weeks back, I had dreams a few nights in a row about girls. They were not girls I had ever seen or that meant anything to me, but I was dreaming about hugging and kissing them. Then when I woke up, I realized that the only thing I was hugging and kissing... was my pillow.

It was the first time I ever truly felt lonely. :sigh


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

Peter Attis said:


> A few weeks back, I had dreams a few nights in a row about girls. They were not girls I had ever seen or that meant anything to me, but I was dreaming about hugging and kissing them. Then when I woke up, I realized that the only thing I was hugging and kissing... was my pillow.
> 
> It was the first time I ever truly felt lonely. :sigh


↑im sorry to hear that. for me, they are guys i know but they are taken so i cant have em but i dont flirt with them or anything


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## IHeartSteveMcQueen (May 30, 2009)

you should flirt with them.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

IHeartSteveMcQueen said:


> you should flirt with them.


i cant flirt with married guys. theyd get mad plus its wronng lol. its weird though , the dream i had last night, i liked the guy before i knew he was taken and i felt so bad when i found out. i didnt flirt but i thought he was handsome, hes really nice and i think he might have sa too


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## ghosts_of_never (Aug 6, 2008)

Topics of my dreams seem a fairly randomized odd version of thoughts I'd been having when awake. Pretty much the only thing I really consider a dream to be 'telling' me is that the topic has been on my mind in one way or another.


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## TRENNER (Sep 21, 2009)

1applehearts1 said:


> for the past two weeks ive been dreaming about guys almost every night. its really random.
> 
> like last night i had a dream i tackled a guy and kissed him on the ground. really random
> 
> ...


The only meaning is that you have normal desires for an young heterosexual woman. Now, if you were dreaming of making out with a herd of goats, it would be different.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Usually, if I'm thinking about something a lot I'll dream about it. That is probably all that is going on with you.


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

I'm available for dreams anytime.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

I actually had a dream earlier today of an sas girl on here. Don't worry, it wasn't anything sexual, but it was an odd conversation. I won't say who it was to prevent the ackwardness, haha.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

polythene said:


> I think symbolic dream interpretation is really obvious and obtuse, but when you dream about tackling dudes it probably means you want to tackle dudes IRL. These are the best kinds of dreams, especially when they involve Ethan Hawke lookalikes. Bottom line? You and I need "activity partners," STAT. :roll
> 
> Sadly, most of my dreams involve me doing stupid things like grocery shopping or rearranging my bookshelves. I hate my subconscious.


lol. grocery shopping.

yeah those dreams are great, just weird cause ive given up on guys. i mean i dont think anyone will want me.

i havent even thinkin about guys... weird.

maybe cause im not thinkin about it i wanna act it out in my dreams or something. i just am not around older guys. no guy teachers, friends, etc. i dont know how 2 approach them...


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## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

1applehearts1 said:


> i cant flirt with married guys. theyd get mad plus its wronng lol. its weird though , the dream i had last night, i liked the guy before i knew he was taken and i felt so bad when i found out. i didnt flirt but i thought he was handsome, hes really nice and i think he might have sa too


I can't speak for every married guy out there but I am an older married guy and I wouldn't get mad if a girl flirted with me, as long as it didn't get out of hand. But I still wound't be mad. I'd just tell you to tone it down some. Just don't flirt with a married guy in front of his wife . That's dangerous.

Some might ask why you would even want to flirt with a married guy. My only answer would be for practice. Just because you flirt doesn't mean you are trying to date the guy. I just think flirting takes practice to be good at it. It might be easier to flirt with someone you have no chance with and hone your skills for when you want to flirt with someone you do have a chance with. It may make me sound like a pig, but I am a pig:yes.


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## IHeartSteveMcQueen (May 30, 2009)

^^^^^this. I've never ever had a married guy get mad at me for flirting with them. as for crossing the line, its usually the married guy who does it.


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## JFmtl (Dec 23, 2008)

also, not all older guys are married or in a serious relation. Some are divorced, some never got married or never found their special someone. 

Anyway, I don't know your age exactly (early 20's?), but it seems that at that age, lots of people are in a relationship anyway. I think the last few years, every girl i met that could have been interesting already had a boyfriend. Yes, those relations as not as stable and time-proven than for those who are married/in a relation for over 10 years, but usually it's more serious that the High School 3 months romance, so it's the same principle, and the same excuse could be used to refrain from flirting and dating.


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## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

IHeartSteveMcQueen said:


> ^^^^^this. I've never ever had a married guy get mad at me for flirting with them. as for crossing the line, its usually the married guy who does it.


Thats right. In reality the girl doing the flirting has no line (except any she may set for herself). It is the man's (my) responsibility not to cross that line. In my specific relationship flirting is ok. Women can flirt with me and I can even flirt with them. I just better not take it beyond that. Thats the line I don't cross. Every relationship is different though. Like what is posted above, some women will beat down another woman for flirting with their man. Others don't mind. If I had a beat you down kind of wife and a woman starting to flirt with me I would make sure to get her to stop. I woulndnt want a fight.

Its helpful knowing where the line is though. I'm sure many men don't know exactly where the line is and they test the gray area and see what happens. There is no gray area in my relationship. We have openly discussed it and the boundaries are set.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

Classified said:


> I'm available for dreams anytime.


verrrry funny :clap


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

polythene said:


> I know what you mean; I'm in pretty much the same position. I don't think about guys much when I'm awake - it's not a primary concern and I'm never around any likely candidates, anyway, just old men on public transport. I guess any desire to be with someone gets suppressed and occasionally comes up in dreaming.
> 
> I wish I was asexual, though, things would be so simple.


yeah it would be 10 times easier. lmao.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

tlgibson97 said:


> I can't speak for every married guy out there but I am an older married guy and I wouldn't get mad if a girl flirted with me, as long as it didn't get out of hand. But I still wound't be mad. I'd just tell you to tone it down some. Just don't flirt with a married guy in front of his wife . That's dangerous.
> 
> Some might ask why you would even want to flirt with a married guy. My only answer would be for practice. Just because you flirt doesn't mean you are trying to date the guy. I just think flirting takes practice to be good at it. It might be easier to flirt with someone you have no chance with and hone your skills for when you want to flirt with someone you do have a chance with. It may make me sound like a pig, but I am a pig:yes.


what? you mean men dont really care, generally, if they are married and another woman flirts with them? i thought that would piss them off. LOL. i feel guilty just talking to an older guy. i guess my way of thinking is weird. thanks for your insight. thats good that your wife trusts you, thats very good

the funny part is. i dont even know HOW to flirt. lmao. i just feel silly thinking about it. the only way i could think of it is complimenting a guy :idea


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

tlgibson97 said:


> Thats right. In reality the girl doing the flirting has no line (except any she may set for herself). It is the man's (my) responsibility not to cross that line. In my specific relationship flirting is ok. Women can flirt with me and I can even flirt with them. I just better not take it beyond that. Thats the line I don't cross. Every relationship is different though. Like what is posted above, some women will beat down another woman for flirting with their man. Others don't mind. If I had a beat you down kind of wife and a woman starting to flirt with me I would make sure to get her to stop. I woulndnt want a fight.
> 
> Its helpful knowing where the line is though. I'm sure many men don't know exactly where the line is and they test the gray area and see what happens. There is no gray area in my relationship. We have openly discussed it and the boundaries are set.


lol i DONT even know where that line is. i feel bad liking a married guy or even being nice with one :yes


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

JFmtl said:


> also, not all older guys are married or in a serious relation. Some are divorced, some never got married or never found their special someone.
> 
> Anyway, I don't know your age exactly (early 20's?), but it seems that at that age, lots of people are in a relationship anyway. I think the last few years, every girl i met that could have been interesting already had a boyfriend. Yes, those relations as not as stable and time-proven than for those who are married/in a relation for over 10 years, but usually it's more serious that the High School 3 months romance, so it's the same principle, and the same excuse could be used to refrain from flirting and dating.


yeah thats true. just seems the older the guy the more chancce hes taken :|

and yeah a lot of people in their twenties seem to be taken too but more serious relationships. :sus

this whole dating thing is so complicated. haha


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

:clapLOL. with a banana? id be a bit irritated too i guess if my husband did that. :clap


polythene said:


> If my husband flirted with another woman I would beat him down. :banana


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## IHeartSteveMcQueen (May 30, 2009)

The idea of a married man being pissed off at a woman for flirting with them just cracks me the **** up. It kills me. no honey, they won't be pissed at you, especially if their wives are neglecting them, a 20 year flirting with them will make them feel like a king.
and if I was with a man I was crazy mad about I'd want him to flirt with every girl. Gawd, that would be such a turn on seeing that and then me taking him home. mmmmmm.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

IHeartSteveMcQueen said:


> The idea of a married man being pissed off at a woman for flirting with them just cracks me the **** up. It kills me. no honey, they won't be pissed at you, especially if their wives are neglecting them, a 20 year flirting with them will make them feel like a king.
> and if I was with a man I was crazy mad about I'd want him to flirt with every girl. Gawd, that would be such a turn on seeing that and then me taking him home. mmmmmm.


Wow. really? so guys like if girls flirt with them even if they are married or taken?  i had no idea. i thought that if i flirted with a guy whos married/taken he'd be all thinking "why is this silly girl trying to talk to me, shes too young and my wife will kill me" :mum

so does it make them feel good or something? i mean i think its wrong i mean if i know a guy is married/taken im not gonna flirt with him. :yes

But i can see how if you have a husband who is hot and girls love him but only YOU can have him..theres a thrill in that :boogie


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

i've also though that what if a lot of guys DONT like younger girls. what if i ask an older guy out and look like a total fool and he thinks "im way too old for her, is she crazy?" i mean thats how i think of it in my mind, that id look so dumb to ask out an older guy. or that the guy might get embarassed


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## IHeartSteveMcQueen (May 30, 2009)

yeah man if I was crazy for someone I'd want him to flirt like crazy with other people. I've actually played that game, go out to a bar separately and not talk and just watch each other flirt with other people and then leave together...lol. I don't believe in this jealousy ****, if you have to put your hubby or boyfriend on a leash then you shouldn't be with him. 
As for married men, look at it this way. they are either A) very satisfied and happy in their relationship and not tempted by a flirtatious girl and know not to cross the line or B) not happy and looking to stray. would either man be pissed off at flirting? no way. Men love having their egos stroked so flirt away, draw your own line if it worries you.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

IHeartSteveMcQueen said:


> yeah man if I was crazy for someone I'd want him to flirt like crazy with other people. I've actually played that game, go out to a bar separately and not talk and just watch each other flirt with other people and then leave together...lol. I don't believe in this jealousy ****, if you have to put your hubby or boyfriend on a leash then you shouldn't be with him.
> As for married men, look at it this way. they are either A) very satisfied and happy in their relationship and not tempted by a flirtatious girl and know not to cross the line or B) not happy and looking to stray. would either man be pissed off at flirting? no way. Men love having their egos stroked so flirt away, draw your own line if it worries you.


thats interesting. id try this experiment if i had a guy, haha :|
yeah thats true. i mean i can understand jealously because i guess guys are more prone to cheat sometimes, but then again you have to be balanced and not yell at your man everytime he talks innocently to another female. theres gotta be that balance. id be more on the jealous side if i didnt know a guy that much and our relationship is new and hes flirting with someone.

but if i know the guy really well and trust him.then id be more like brushing it off my shoulders, ya know 

haha i see....so just girls flirting with guys is an ego boost in general? wow thats interesting....guys are so different than girls. cause with girls, if a creepy guy hits on us,,, we get grossed out and flee from them

oh by the way i had another dream of a guy last night...it seems when i think about things less they come out in my dreams...its getting annoying because then in my dreams its like..false hope or something i just dont know how to go about this whole guy thing xD


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## IHeartSteveMcQueen (May 30, 2009)

yeah if you don't trust your man to not cross the line you shouldn't be with him. I never understood women like that. I also don't think men are more prone to cheat, women are just better at hiding it and are good at pretending to be disgusted by it. 
I think any man is flattered by any woman flirting with them. yes its an ego boost for both parties. I don't know about you but if I flirt with an attractive man I feel great even if it was only for fun and practice. 
I don't know how to tell you to go about it. I've always found flirting with older men really easy as opposed to younger guys. So just look at it as practice. I flirt with men I find hot, unavailable men, unattractive men, damn, sometimes even women. Its all fun and practice.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

IHeartSteveMcQueen said:


> yeah if you don't trust your man to not cross the line you shouldn't be with him. I never understood women like that. I also don't think men are more prone to cheat, women are just better at hiding it and are good at pretending to be disgusted by it.
> I think any man is flattered by any woman flirting with them. yes its an ego boost for both parties. I don't know about you but if I flirt with an attractive man I feel great even if it was only for fun and practice.
> I don't know how to tell you to go about it. I've always found flirting with older men really easy as opposed to younger guys. So just look at it as practice. I flirt with men I find hot, unavailable men, unattractive men, damn, sometimes even women. Its all fun and practice.


yeah thats true. jealously comes from either insecurity or bad past experiences. i think men are more prone to cheat, they have more testosterone, theyre more visual.....more sexual....women...more emototional...and yeah women cheat too...but i think to a lesser degree, although cheating women is more prevalent in todays society.

hahahaa....see i thought guys only like getting hit on by women they think are hot and i dont think im hot at all to be honest....yeah it does seem easier to flirt with older guys.....i feel more on their level. im a serious person too. you flirt with women too? lmao. youre hilarious....but i guess as long as youre practicing. i dont even know how to flirt. or where? i mean are you allowed to do it in random stores? i cant obviously do it at school...theyre all like 17-18....im almost 21.....cant do it at school..guess leaves it only to random outings....but how?


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## IHeartSteveMcQueen (May 30, 2009)

haha you can flirt with anyone who talks to you. it doesn't have a specific definition but its just like playful joking and then take it from there. I do most of my flirting at work with co-workers and clients on the phone. then I play softball in the summer in a mixed league and its FULL of older men and I go nuts, even with the ones I don't find attractive. It just starts with playful joking around and then it gets bolder as you get more comfortable. and yeah practicing flirting with women is the best, I actually found out today this woman I flirt with on the phone and call baby is a grandmother...LMAO.


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## IHeartSteveMcQueen (May 30, 2009)

and women are sexual beasts in their mid 30s- to mid 40s and a lot of them stray then. don't kid yourself.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

IHeartSteveMcQueen said:


> haha you can flirt with anyone who talks to you. it doesn't have a specific definition but its just like playful joking and then take it from there. I do most of my flirting at work with co-workers and clients on the phone. then I play softball in the summer in a mixed league and its FULL of older men and I go nuts, even with the ones I don't find attractive. It just starts with playful joking around and then it gets bolder as you get more comfortable. and yeah practicing flirting with women is the best, I actually found out today this woman I flirt with on the phone and call baby is a grandmother...LMAO.


Yeah people at work can be flirtatious sometimes...O_O 
but i think its a better idea for me to do that with customers than coworkers  lol

oh wow....youre lucky.i wish i was in something like that...

ahhaha...a grandmother? thats going to far now  LOL

so really its just like teasing then? i can never tell when someones flirting with me IF someone has flirted with me. i dont get men at all.. sounds like your sa goes away around guys haha


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

IHeartSteveMcQueen said:


> and women are sexual beasts in their mid 30s- to mid 40s and a lot of them stray then. don't kid yourself.


lol thats true...they say thats when womens libido is really high.....no wonder theres so many cougars , lol.


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## QuackQuack (Mar 18, 2008)

I've been dreaming about girls a lot lately. What do you think it meeeaaans?! It couldn't possibly be related to the fact that I really like girls and haven't been with any in a while...



IHeartSteveMcQueen said:


> I've actually played that game, go out to a bar separately and not talk and just watch each other flirt with other people and then leave together...lol.


And you're in a social anxiety forum??


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## Azndude (Jan 23, 2010)

mmm if anybody wants to practice flirting 

:roll:roll:yes


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

Azndude said:


> mmm if anybody wants to practice flirting
> 
> :roll:roll:yes


aww thats sweet


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## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

1applehearts1 said:


> oh by the way i had another dream of a guy last night...it seems when i think about things less they come out in my dreams...its getting annoying because then in my dreams its like..false hope or something i just dont know how to go about this whole guy thing xD


Isn't it weird how I keep popping up in your dreams? Our minds must be in sync or something. :boogie

I am sure there are some guys out there that may get upset with flirting but I don't know why. I think they would have to be insecure and not trust that they could stop themselves from crossing the line. Unless you really know the person there is no way for you to know if they are married or not anyways. I haven't wore a wedding band in 10 years so that isn't always an indicator. I suppose if a man IS wearing a band then it is probably a safe bet.

I think it is an ego boost to be flirted with. You don't even have to be hot. I'm sure there are shallow guys that only want to be flirted with by hot girls but I can only speak for myself. I feel I am a bit strange. Normally, I like to blend in and I don't want any attention in general. But if a girl even smiles at me it lifts me up some. I guess it makes me feel less like a loser.

My wife gets a kick out of it too. It makes her feel like she has something that everyone wants but can't have. I guess it beats knowing you are married to a loser that nobody else wanted.

We get jealous on occasion. It's more of an irratant then anything. We both know its a irrational emotion and we just push it aside and get over it.

I think playful flirting would be safe with anyone. There is also sexual flirting that probabyl doesnt have any place at work. You don't want anything to be turned in for sexual harassment. So I would stray away from sexual references and backrubs at work :b. Smiling, joking around, and just being friendly is safe for work. But don't listen to me. I dont know how to flirt either. I end up just sounding like a pervert (or so I feel).


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## IHeartSteveMcQueen (May 30, 2009)

QuackQuack said:


> I've been dreaming about girls a lot lately. What do you think it meeeaaans?! It couldn't possibly be related to the fact that I really like girls and haven't been with any in a while...
> 
> And you're in a social anxiety forum??


yeah you're right, God forbid anyone land in a situation where they actually triumph a little bit.


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## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

QuackQuack said:


> I've been dreaming about girls a lot lately. What do you think it meeeaaans?! It couldn't possibly be related to the fact that I really like girls and haven't been with any in a while...


Ive been with a woman every day for over 15 years and I still dream about women. Maybe thats my problem, Ive been with the same woman for over 15 years. Isn't there a saying that too much of a good thing is bad for you too :b


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## Phibes (Mar 8, 2009)

I dreamt about the same girl two nights in a row last week. It wasn't sexual either, twas about the other pleasantries that come about when you're with someone special.

FYI, the girl was someone I worked with three years ago who was super cute and who I never talked to because I am shy.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

tlgibson97 said:


> Isn't it weird how I keep popping up in your dreams? Our minds must be in sync or something. :boogie
> 
> I am sure there are some guys out there that may get upset with flirting but I don't know why. I think they would have to be insecure and not trust that they could stop themselves from crossing the line. Unless you really know the person there is no way for you to know if they are married or not anyways. I haven't wore a wedding band in 10 years so that isn't always an indicator. I suppose if a man IS wearing a band then it is probably a safe bet.
> 
> ...


hey YOURE not the guy in my dreams, so keep wishin :b lol

yeah i guess insecure guys would get mad....heh. i assumed all married guys wore wedding rings. oh great now i cant even tell for sure. thats the most embarassing thing to me....me asking out a hot older guy and he turns out to be married. what a fool i would look like, 

yeah....youre wife must feel like she has a piece of hot stuff eh? haha

i guess playful teasing at work is ok but sexual....not. gosh, at one of my jobs, there was this guy, like 4-5 years older than me. he had a girlfriend and i was not attracted to him at all....he was nice but there was something i didnt trust and all of the other young girls loved him but i didnt because he was getting too touchy feely. it was to the point to where he kept putting his hands on my waist and whispering "hey cutie..." and i wasnt 100 percent sure if he was being nice or whatever or being inappropriate. it did make me feel weird though...i didnt want to say anything to get him in trouble because i thought it might have been innocent. i dont know...but hes gone now. i guess we just have to be careful.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

IHeartSteveMcQueen said:


> yeah you're right, God forbid anyone land in a situation where they actually triumph a little bit.


boy id love to triumph :yes:boogie


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## goodthing (Feb 16, 2009)

I had a dream last night where my friend kissed me. I didn't think I liked him that way, or at least I didn't want to like him that way. Damn now I'm all confused.


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## QuackQuack (Mar 18, 2008)

IHeartSteveMcQueen said:


> yeah you're right, God forbid anyone land in a situation where they actually triumph a little bit.


I'm not condemning you. Just seems odd to me. I have enough trouble just walking into a bar, let alone watching a girlfriend flirt with other guys.



tlgibson97 said:


> Ive been with a woman every day for over 15 years and I still dream about women. Maybe thats my problem, Ive been with the same woman for over 15 years. Isn't there a saying that too much of a good thing is bad for you too :b


So break up with her?

Every married person I know complains about it. I don't know why they got married in the first place if it sucks as much as they say it does. I've only lived with girls for half a year, but it was pretty nice for me. People are different, I guess.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

QuackQuack said:


> I'm not condemning you. Just seems odd to me. I have enough trouble just walking into a bar, let alone watching a girlfriend flirt with other guys.
> 
> So break up with her?
> 
> Every married person I know complains about it. I don't know why they got married in the first place if it sucks as much as they say it does. I've only lived with girls for half a year, but it was pretty nice for me. People are different, I guess.


why do have a hard time walking into the bar?


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## No-Sturm-und-Drang (Jan 21, 2009)

You probably are trying to fill a void of lonliness.


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## QuackQuack (Mar 18, 2008)

1applehearts1 said:


> why do have a hard time walking into the bar?


Because I am terrified of people and bars are full of loud, intimidating, terrifying people? Because I was always told that they are places of evil by my crazy conservative family/friends growing up?

I've been in bars a number of times, and even felt comfortable a few times, when I was with people I already knew and trusted, but I can't think of a time that was actually "fun". The last time was a year ago, and with a girlfriend. Watching her flirt with other guys was not fun, even though I understand that it's 100% normal and not a big deal for most people. I have an account on this forum for a reason.


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## IHeartSteveMcQueen (May 30, 2009)

I dunno man, some people have SA and they push themselves to do things no matter how terrifying they may be at first.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

goodness another dream last night.... about a guy i havent seen for 3 months, man i miss him' what a nice guy he was


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## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

1applehearts1 said:


> i assumed all married guys wore wedding rings. oh great now i cant even tell for sure.
> 
> yeah....youre wife must feel like she has a piece of hot stuff eh? haha
> 
> it was to the point to where he kept putting his hands on my waist and whispering "hey cutie..."


It is probably pretty safe to say that if a guy isn't wearing a band that he wouldnt care if you flirted with him. We realise that is the only indicator of marriage and we know you arent a mind reader.

My wife says I'm hot but I don't believe her, go figure.

Touching someone in a way other than professionally is one of the quickes ways to get fired at my company. I work with my wife and we take walks on breaks and I don't touch her and I don't let her touch me in case someone gets offended. All it would take is someone feeling uncomfortable because I hold her hand or rubbing her back to get both us fired.

If someone ever touches you or comes on to you in a way that makes you feel comfortable, the first thing to do is tell the person it makes you uncomfortable and don't do it again. That allows them to stop without getting them in trouble. If they continue then you have no choice but to report them to your manager. Most companies have little tolerance for sexual harrassment.


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## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

QuackQuack said:


> So break up with her?
> 
> Every married person I know complains about it. I don't know why they got married in the first place if it sucks as much as they say it does. I've only lived with girls for half a year, but it was pretty nice for me. People are different, I guess.


Thats the stereotype I was playing on.

I wouldnt trade my relationship for anything in the world. There will always be sexual attraction to other people but what my wife and I have goes much further. I understand that if I broke up just to move on to the next new lady that the newness would soon wear off. But at that point I would have lost everything good I had with my wife. She stuck with me in high school, she was with me an supported me through 6 years of college and 2 kids, and a bankruptcy. So I feel like the worst is behind us. Now in about 9 years the last of our kids will be grown up and we will have to figure out what else to do with our free time.

It takes a special woman to put up with my crap and for that I am greatful. I woudn't trade what I have now for something better because I can't think of anything that could be better.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

wow, youre a great husband. its true...once the honeymoon phase is over....its the personality that counts or else its just an empty relationship. good for you  glad you found a great woman 


tlgibson97 said:


> Thats the stereotype I was playing on.
> 
> I wouldnt trade my relationship for anything in the world. There will always be sexual attraction to other people but what my wife and I have goes much further. I understand that if I broke up just to move on to the next new lady that the newness would soon wear off. But at that point I would have lost everything good I had with my wife. She stuck with me in high school, she was with me an supported me through 6 years of college and 2 kids, and a bankruptcy. So I feel like the worst is behind us. Now in about 9 years the last of our kids will be grown up and we will have to figure out what else to do with our free time.
> 
> It takes a special woman to put up with my crap and for that I am greatful. I woudn't trade what I have now for something better because I can't think of anything that could be better.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

i see. man i always had this thought that all guys only want really hot girls to flirt with them. i think im realizing my perception is a but off 

yeah im realizing what this guy did was wrong...well hes gone now..next time it happens ill tell someone i guess...doubt it will ever happen again though :idea lol. funny thing is...if it was some older guy i liked doing it....i would know it was wrong but i would like it...:um


tlgibson97 said:


> It is probably pretty safe to say that if a guy isn't wearing a band that he wouldnt care if you flirted with him. We realise that is the only indicator of marriage and we know you arent a mind reader.
> 
> My wife says I'm hot but I don't believe her, go figure.
> 
> ...


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## IHeartSteveMcQueen (May 30, 2009)

what would be wrong about it?


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

IHeartSteveMcQueen said:


> what would be wrong about it?


i dont know....i guess a coworker hitting on another coworker can be seen as inappropriate/....i mean if theyre taken its even worse, if theyre not....i wouldnt feel as bad. plus i never know if theyre just being nice or teasing or flirting. im clueless :roll


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## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

Your place of work is not for hittong on women. Its for work. When a woman is hit on by a coworker they arent particularly attracted to then things get awkward. Especially if they are all touchy feely. Things can escalate and since you are at work there is no easy way to avoid it and it can start to affect your work. If some stranger is hitting on you at the bar it is easy to just leave but if it is someone at work then you have to see them every day. I hate confrontations and it would cause me a lot of anxiety to be put in that position at work.

I have had to watch more videos then I care to count here at work over sexual harrasment and our harrassment free workplace policy, plus the yearly training modules. So its been crammed down my throat. They take it serious here so I walk a straight line.


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## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

1apple, try not to think of it as flirting but instead as just being friendly. I'm sure you can use your judgement to know whats appropriate and what isnt. Laughing, smiling, friendly touching are all acceptable. The more you know someone the more you can do. Like I would never touch someone I didn't know well. Some people get all bent out of shape if you tap them on the shoulder so if you don't know them its better to be safe and not touch them.

Obviously there is touching that is usually not ever appropriate. You dont want to give someone a shoulder rub or rub your boobs on them while they are seated at their desk (though I wouldnt report it ). I only mention it because apparently it has happened enough times here to cause them to make another video about it.

I know you are only going to do things you are comfortable with and it seems like you will lean towards the safe side in most instances so try not to worry about it. If someone ever gets mad just dont flirt with them any more


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

tlgibson97 said:


> Your place of work is not for hittong on women. Its for work. When a woman is hit on by a coworker they arent particularly attracted to then things get awkward. Especially if they are all touchy feely. Things can escalate and since you are at work there is no easy way to avoid it and it can start to affect your work. If some stranger is hitting on you at the bar it is easy to just leave but if it is someone at work then you have to see them every day. I hate confrontations and it would cause me a lot of anxiety to be put in that position at work.
> 
> I have had to watch more videos then I care to count here at work over sexual harrasment and our harrassment free workplace policy, plus the yearly training modules. So its been crammed down my throat. They take it serious here so I walk a straight line.


thats good its taken seriously at your job.

yeah you know what, youre right. and its even worse when the guy doing it is taken....its like really, come on. well i didnt say anything out of fear and not being sure if he was just being nice or something..a lot of people liked him before he left so i didnt want to tattle, i guess ...and im the type of person also who hates confrontations and so it was easier for me to ignore it ya know


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

tlgibson97 said:


> 1apple, try not to think of it as flirting but instead as just being friendly. I'm sure you can use your judgement to know whats appropriate and what isnt. Laughing, smiling, friendly touching are all acceptable. The more you know someone the more you can do. Like I would never touch someone I didn't know well. Some people get all bent out of shape if you tap them on the shoulder so if you don't know them its better to be safe and not touch them.
> 
> Obviously there is touching that is usually not ever appropriate. You dont want to give someone a shoulder rub or rub your boobs on them while they are seated at their desk (though I wouldnt report it ). I only mention it because apparently it has happened enough times here to cause them to make another video about it.
> 
> I know you are only going to do things you are comfortable with and it seems like you will lean towards the safe side in most instances so try not to worry about it. If someone ever gets mad just dont flirt with them any more


oh i see.....yeah i mean if a guys just being nice and smiling i dont assume hes hitting on me, i know hes just being nice. but if a guy pays a lot of attention to me, compliments me and touches me in a certain way then i have to wonder. the coworker in question at my job,...it was the way he was touching me, like not just on the shoulders but on the waist almost every day then lower waist...i thought it was weird ...then a friend at work told me he wasnt just being nice but i was a little confused. so you can see why i would question it

youre right people get thrown off by one little pat on the back. i realize some people are touchy feely but i think people, especially guys, should know where to draw that line

i mean, me personally, im not touchy feely, probably from my sa or shyness or whatever. ive just never had the urge to touch a coworker, and i havent.:b


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## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

I think if I ever touched a woman on the waist I would be looking out for a left hook. I think unless you are dancing that is a little too intimate.

When you figure out what is flirting and what is friendly let me know. Or you can write a book about it and be rich


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

tlgibson97 said:


> I think if I ever touched a woman on the waist I would be looking out for a left hook. I think unless you are dancing that is a little too intimate.
> 
> When you figure out what is flirting and what is friendly let me know. Or you can write a book about it and be rich


LOL....really ? yeah i guess youre right....and its like he over did it, like touching 1-2 times a day there for more than 1 second ....

haha ok....ill give you half the profit. too bad ill never figure it out though


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## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

I just know I tend to overreact because I don't get any attention from women. I would get excited if a woman just smiled at me. If she started talking to me out of the blue I would trip over myself and probably stutter. After 10 minutes I would be in love and she was just being friendly. But I would try to play it cool. Of course she is just being friendly. She woulndt be flirting with me. Nobody ever flirts with me. Why would anyone want to flirt with me, Im nothing special.

Because I feel that way around women, I automatically project those feelings onto them. I rarely smile. I don't just talk to a girl out of the blue. I dont touch them unless I know them well. Even then it feels like I am flirting to just touch someone.

That there may be the root cause of SA. I know how I feel. I don't know how someone else feels. So I assume they feel the way I do (or worse).


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

tlgibson97 said:


> I just know I tend to overreact because I don't get any attention from women. I would get excited if a woman just smiled at me. If she started talking to me out of the blue I would trip over myself and probably stutter. After 10 minutes I would be in love and she was just being friendly. But I would try to play it cool. Of course she is just being friendly. She woulndt be flirting with me. Nobody ever flirts with me. Why would anyone want to flirt with me, Im nothing special.
> 
> Because I feel that way around women, I automatically project those feelings onto them. I rarely smile. I don't just talk to a girl out of the blue. I dont touch them unless I know them well. Even then it feels like I am flirting to just touch someone.
> 
> That there may be the root cause of SA. I know how I feel. I don't know how someone else feels. So I assume they feel the way I do (or worse).


wow im JUST LIKE THAT but with guys! weird. i feel if i just touch a guy theyll think i like them and all the other things you said, im the same way, probably cause of my SA. but i am kind of picky with guys...i mean if an older guy shows me a ttention im attached very quickly and i want to be near him


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## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

One example I can think of when I project my feelings onto people but worse is when I have to give a speech. Thats a very vulnerable position for a lot of people. Everyone is focused on you. There's no place to hide and you can't just blend in and not be noticed. You think people are judging, thinking hurtful things about the way you look, talk, fiddle with your notes, etc.

The only way I get through something like that is to think logicly. When I am in the audience what am I actually thinking about the speaker? Most of the time I don't even listen to what they are saying and I'm just sitting through it waiting on my turn. So I use that to calm me down. I figure they don't really care what I say, how I say it, or what I do when I'm up there. They just want it over with as quickly as I do.

I mention that example because its a trick that works but for some reason I can't seem to use it in any other situation. I don't dance because I can't dance and I dont want people snickering at me. Even though nobody would even care if I just flopped around on the floor. I've seen bad dancers before and nobody points and laughs or tells them to get off the dance floor. Don't know why I cant use it when talking to people. Why do I always have to project worse thoughts than my own?

I dont know how we got so far off your original post.
I felt someone dreaming of me last night, figured it must have been you so I didn't worry about it  lol j/k


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

tlgibson97 said:


> One example I can think of when I project my feelings onto people but worse is when I have to give a speech. Thats a very vulnerable position for a lot of people. Everyone is focused on you. There's no place to hide and you can't just blend in and not be noticed. You think people are judging, thinking hurtful things about the way you look, talk, fiddle with your notes, etc.
> 
> The only way I get through something like that is to think logicly. When I am in the audience what am I actually thinking about the speaker? Most of the time I don't even listen to what they are saying and I'm just sitting through it waiting on my turn. So I use that to calm me down. I figure they don't really care what I say, how I say it, or what I do when I'm up there. They just want it over with as quickly as I do.
> 
> ...


im the same way, i cannot speak and then i also think well yeah usually when i listen to the speech im just zoning out and not caring or judging cause a lot of people hate public speaking, that helps. 

no i actually didnt have a dream about you last night, it was about a friend who died recently


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## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

Sorry about your friend. I'm sure you wake up pretty bummed after that dream.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

tlgibson97 said:


> Sorry about your friend. I'm sure you wake up pretty bummed after that dream.


yeah thanks so much <3 i was bummed. and you know the weird thing is he said a phrase, not like a common one, in my dream that my mom said to me like a day after the dream. weird.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

the good thing is i have more good than bad dreams. mostly just rampant dreams about craig ferguson everynight. :yes


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## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

I'm sure there is a fine line between dream and nightmare when it comes to Craig Fergason.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

tlgibson97 said:


> I'm sure there is a fine line between dream and nightmare when it comes to Craig Fergason.


well thats true. well i watch him everynight while helping me fall asleep, its to the point that i dream of him almost everynight now and also his voice helps me fall asleep. dont worry, he doesnt go nuts in my dreams, lmao


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## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

My dreams are typically a weird concoction of things I saw or heard over the past few days. It can turn into some wierd stuff. Some can seem quite real. Like the time I jumped out of bed screaming at my wife to run because I had just dropped a grenade in the bed. I had been playing way too many video games that day.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

tlgibson97 said:


> My dreams are typically a weird concoction of things I saw or heard over the past few days. It can turn into some wierd stuff. Some can seem quite real. Like the time I jumped out of bed screaming at my wife to run because I had just dropped a grenade in the bed. I had been playing way too many video games that day.


yeah thats really true. a lot of times my dreams will be combo of things/people ive seen or whatever in the week. like ill talk to a person i just talked to while reading a book i saw at a store while listening to music i heard in a movie or something

lately though my dreams have been really weird and not so shallow.


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## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

You guys have weird dreams oke


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