# making the choice to be happy.



## mysterioussoul (Jul 17, 2010)

happiness is a choice and a state of mind. no matter what dire situation you are in if you have the ability to be happy then you can overcome it. so that's what i'm choosing to do. i'm choosing to be happy and positive. i want to put positive energy into the world and hopefully get it in return and if i don't then i don't.

i don't want to swim in self-pity. if i want my life to change then i have to make the effort. there's no one else to blame. it's all up to me. i want to live.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

Just out of curiousity, & I'm playing devil's advocate here...

so, you can just choose to be happy? It's that simple? No matter what dire situation you're in?

If my wife, God-forbid, were to die in surgery this week, I could just "choose to be happy", if I was left to raise 3 kids by myself with crippling anxiety?

All the homeless children in Haiti can just choose to be happy, despite having lost their parents, with nowhere to go, no roof over their heads?

People, children who are smuggled into this country, who are raped, beaten, sold into slavery, can just "choose to be happy?"

I can go on & on with examples, but you get the idea...I wish it was that simple for me. Seriously. What's your secret? What am I missing here?


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## robtyl (Sep 2, 2010)

You're missing the difference between happiness and contentment.

The point here is this: Whatever situation you find yourself in, do what you can to turn it into something positive. If you can do that, then you should be happy because you've done all that you can do.

Many of us do NOT live in absolutely wretched conditions, and thus have no real reason not to be happy - because many of us are not trying to improve our situation, or doing EVERYTHING possible to improve (self pity).

If you have a positive mindset than your outlook on life DOES change. Cynicism really is destructive - at least too much of it. I mean being absolutely cynical would be to be nihilistic - why not just kill ourselves, since we'll die anyway?

I choose to die when it's 'my time' - and until then, I'll enjoy myself as much as I can. As OP said, this means not wallowing in self pity, and changing your outlook on life.

In short: Your life may not be perfect - far from it, in fact - but it's what you make of your life, what you put the effort in to change - that matters. And if you're doing that, then you should be happy. 

Good on you, OP  The only way things will change is if you make the effort. And don't feel alone on your journey - there are some others on here who are determined to be positive and travel the long and dusty road, too 

x


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## aBucketandaMop (Sep 16, 2010)

yes i agree! you can usually choose to be happy or sad. dude it is crazy how many people just let themselves feel sad without trying to think through their issues! sometimes the anserew are in your mind!


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## mysterioussoul (Jul 17, 2010)

*


robtyl said:



You're missing the difference between happiness and contentment.

The point here is this: Whatever situation you find yourself in, do what you can to turn it into something positive. If you can do that, then you should be happy because you've done all that you can do.

Click to expand...




robtyl said:





Many of us do NOT live in absolutely wretched conditions, and thus have no real reason not to be happy - because many of us are not trying to improve our situation, or doing EVERYTHING possible to improve (self pity).

If you have a positive mindset than your outlook on life DOES change. Cynicism really is destructive - at least too much of it. I mean being absolutely cynical would be to be nihilistic - why not just kill ourselves, since we'll die anyway?

I choose to die when it's 'my time' - and until then, I'll enjoy myself as much as I can. As OP said, this means not wallowing in self pity, and changing your outlook on life.

In short: Your life may not be perfect - far from it, in fact - but it's what you make of your life, what you put the effort in to change - that matters. And if you're doing that, then you should be happy. 

Good on you, OP  The only way things will change is if you make the effort. And don't feel alone on your journey - there are some others on here who are determined to be positive and travel the long and dusty road, too 

x

Click to expand...

*

thank you for standing up for my point. of course for people in really extreme dire situations it would be hard for them to be happy but they'd have to eventually learn to cope with it and move on. otherwise it'll just consume you.

what i mean is that i'm more content and at peace with myself and i feel true happiness at times. i'm choosing to not blame other people for my problems. i am my own person. i'm trying to exert positive energy into the world. i want that to be my contribution to society considering i'm not doing much for it now.

i haven't suffered as much as other people have. not even close and i'm really fortunate for that. i'm so grateful for so many things that i try not to let disappoinments bring me down like it used to.


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## robtyl (Sep 2, 2010)

What you say echoes a lot of things mentioned in my favourite motivational video, by Will Smith. Have you seen it?

x


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## mysterioussoul (Jul 17, 2010)

robtyl said:


> What you say echoes a lot of things mentioned in my favourite motivational video, by Will Smith. Have you seen it?
> 
> x


you mean Will Smith the actor/entertainer extraordinaire? no, i haven't seen it but i'll look it up.


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## robtyl (Sep 2, 2010)

mysterioussoul said:


> you mean Will Smith the actor/entertainer extraordinaire? no, i haven't seen it but i'll look it up.


Indeed! Not the other great Will Smith - Wilbur Smith, author of the most wonderful historical fiction I have ever laid eyes upon :heart

I've quoted this everywhere on here, but once more won't hurt 






x


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## tweedyrat (Jan 8, 2011)

I agree. I stopped making absolute promises to myself (because I would just break them and end up feeling worse) but I have made a decsion to really try harder. Self pity has been horribly destructive for me and it is no comfort anymore. I do believe happiness is a choice, maybe a struggle, but ultimately a choice.


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## Jennifer Clayton (Nov 19, 2010)

You are so right. You have to learn to develop a positive mindset, despite your difficult and trying circumstances, and even if it's hard, you can still manage to find something positive. As they say, "every cloud has a silver lining." 

There usually at least 1 thing positive in every bad thing that happens, you just sometimes have to really dig for it. I am trying to keep a positive mindset and trying not to be too hard on myself, and that is helping me to be happy. I am learning to love myself more than ever before. It's really hard some days, but other days, I can do it fairly well.


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