# I love my best friend but she irritates me?



## thefreshestcereal

I've been friends with her since I was 11, I'm 21 now. We've been best friends since we were 16 and we've been through a lot together. I love her to bits and we've always said that nothing would lessen our friendship, but recently things she does irritate me SO MUCH. 
We go to different colleges and she studies graphic design. 

In the last 2 years she's started to become really friendly with some of the people in her class, and I was so happy for her, but they're really obnoxious hipster types and although my friend has always had a touch of the annoying hipster about her, they've rubbed off on her to such an extent that she is really beginning to annoy me. 
She talks about art and graphic design in such a way that puts other people down and she's always going on about things being so unoriginal or this or that or the other, or speaking about things as if they have had SUCH a profound effect on her and that she can see the world in a different way and blahblahblah... It is driving me MAD. 

I'm an artistic person myself - I'm a singer and I write and draw sometimes, I absolutely love to read and I adore films and music - but this much bull****tery is just beyond the realms of what I can deal with. A little bit of that is fine, she's always been a bit like that and I found it interesting and quirky, but every time she starts to talk about her artistic vision in flowery, misty-eyed rapture I feel myself bubbling up in annoyance. 

She also doesn't understand the importance of table manners, and doesn't get why I think it's rude to sell gifts people give you for birthdays or Christmas or whatever, and she rolls her eyes and dismisses me and says I'm being ridiculous. 

She acts in a purposefully attention-seeking way, and has always done this since we were children - singing badly on purpose very loudly in public, pretending to fall over on purpose, shouting really noisily, etc. When we were in school that was fine and great fun. When we're on our own and with friends at home it's fine and doesn't bother me at all. But when we are out at a bar or pub or cafe or restaurant it is not fun. I hate the idea of people thinking badly of me and my friend because of this behaviour, and it makes me so uncomfortable to think that people might assume that I am rude and attention-seeking by association. She knows I don't like people's attention drawn in our direction but she does it anyway. I think she thinks I'm uptight for not enjoying this but I just prefer to have a more subtle presence than she does. 

We get along so well, we have movie days in our pyjamas, cook tasty food together, laugh until we can't breathe, and just generally have so much fun but I can't help but feel irritated by things she does recently and I worry so much that I'm annoying her too. We're the closest I've ever seen to being soulmates, and I don't want to lose her.
Is this just a phase? Will it pass? I really don't want us to drift apart. What can I do to stop myself from being rubbed the wrong way by things she says and does?


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## ShadowOnTheWall

People can be good friends but will invariably have flaws and annoying habits, and can sometimes develop new ones over time. Call her out on some the stuff that bothers you, though try to do it nicely. If you don't like the way she treats some people say so, but be polite about it.


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## twistedlogic89

I feel your pain. I've been close friends with someone for about 8 years now, longest friendship I've ever had really. But in all the time I've known her, she's been a part of this other group of friends. Kind of a band of misfits and they like their group to be very exclusive. When I became friends with her in early high school, this group of friends couldn't stand it and were very hateful toward me. 

Even today, I can't stand when she chooses them over me. I guess I can understand wanting to do something as a group rather than with just one person (like for Xmas parties, NYE, etc) but it still hurts. And she is always kind of obnoxious/judgmental after hanging with them. But I figure she is more like a sister now than anything. And sisters can be annoying.


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## saltyleaf

wow. honestly after reading the first few paragraphs i thought you guys had definitely grown apart. after reading more, i still feel this way but you seem to still like her as a friend. my advice is to maybe distance yourself from her a little so you're not too annoyed when you guys do hang out.
i have "a few" friends that annoy me and i jsut dont hang out with them as much bc i'd lose it. i actually have a bf i grew up with and its going on 10yrs since i've been friends with her but since high school she hasnt been the same andhonestly if we met today i wouldnt be her friend. although we've grown out of that type of friendship we used to have i still talk to her and be there for her as a friend but its not the same.


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