# We went to lunch and I didn't say anything



## shyguy07 (Mar 22, 2015)

Last week we all went out to lunch at work. There were two long tables at a restaurant, and I was at the end of one table. When I got there, the others were sitting already and there was one empty chair there, so I figured that's probably for me. So I just sat down without asking anyone if I could sit there, as there was really no where else to sit.

Well, everyone talked to the people around them, but I was silent the entire time and didn't say a word to anyone around me. The only time I talked was to the waiter and servers. One of the people came around to chat but that was the only person I spoke to the entire time.

I'm sure everyone thought I was weirdo but I was just going to see if I could get by the entire time without talking. Also I did not take out my phone even once.


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## rabidfoxes (Apr 17, 2016)

By now they probably know you're quiet. It's not that weird, there are quiet people everywhere (or at least I see many of them). It's not necessarily that people don't want to talk to you, sometimes when approaching a quiet person it's hard to know whether they are happy to talk to you or whether you're intruding in their personal space. I know I have that dilemma a lot.


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## Greenmacaron (Jul 20, 2019)

I would focus on the positives.. The fact that you went out in a group setting and it was OK.

You can talk to the waiters and servers without having an anxiety attack.. some people can't even do that.. Plus, there was a person who got up to come round and talk to you. They thought you were worth getting up to talk to. 

I would add that you must be a strong person to not even take out your phone once. Shows you have good table manners too


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## Socialmisfits (May 14, 2021)

You took the one free spot I’d say that’s great


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## RSxo (Apr 19, 2018)

Out of interest, why did you want to go the whole time without talking? Just curious! x


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

That's me in any social setting. Which is exactly why I do everything I can to avoid it, if possible.


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## shyguy07 (Mar 22, 2015)

Greenmacaron said:


> I would add that you must be a strong person to not even take out your phone once. Shows you have good table manners too


Yeah, a few people around me were on their phones, but I was always old that it isn't polite to be on your phone at a table. If I'm just with one other person, I'll get it out sometimes to show them things. But in a group sometimes I'd hear someone scold people for taking out their phones instead of talking to the others around them.



RSxo said:


> Out of interest, why did you want to go the whole time without talking? Just curious! x


I just didn't have anything to say. Plus the people around me were in certain "cliques" where they talk to each other at work but don't really talk much to anyone else. So they just chatted amongst themselves and played on their phones and I just stayed to myself. Even if I sat somewhere else it wouldn't have made any difference.


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## Sainnot (Feb 6, 2021)

Nice. I’m planning to do this but with a virtual meeting instead of an inperson event. In 2 weeks I will try attending an inperson event. I just want to at least be around people talking. It’s a start.


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## either/or (Apr 27, 2020)

There's nothing wrong with being the quiet guy/girl. I don't think anyone really judges you for that. In my experience at least. But if you seem too anxious or awkward they will think you're weird. In a setting like that it's probably better to be reserved rather than try and force yourself to into a conversation that may just go badly.


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