# Do you believe in love?



## liktheangel (Oct 23, 2010)

I can't be the only one in thinking that love isn't real. I think people put too much emphasis on the concept of love and being in love. I had a classmate tell me that he didn't believe in love because for centuries the concept of love didn't matter; it was more about finding someone who could provide (money, kids, shelter, food,etc.). I thought about and I think he's right. 

I think movies, music, books,etc. feed us as people an idea of love and that one day we'll meet _____ and live happily ever after. I don't think that's true for most people.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

Do I believe in love? Hell yes.

Do I think love is similar to how it is portrayed in movies and music and books? Hell no.


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## Quazimoto (Jun 15, 2011)

I find it incredibly sad when people DON'T believe in love. Sure, it's not always like it's portrayed in the movies (rarely is really) and what, exactly, love is is different for everyone, but to not believe in it at all... I guess I just can't fathom that notion. Of course the idea that you'll magically meet this one special person and live happily ever after is a fantasy, but that doesn't mean that love. Real, honest, true, passionate, and lasting love is a fantasy as well. The fact of the matter is that, for whatever reason, a large number of people are simply to afraid to open themselves up to love. Doing that means that you might get hurt, feel awkward, or have your illusions shattered and that's a terrifying concept to a lot of people. Being in love also means have to compromise at times; it's a give and take/ebb and flow. That also frightens many people on a subconsious level. You can't ever find love if you're not willing to risk a bit of inner pain, some awkward moments, or disillusionment of your romantic ideals. A lot of people don't seem to be willing to risk that, so they hide behind a banner of "love is only for the movies, it doesn't exist in real life". It's a defense mechanism of sorts. People convince themselves that it doesn't exist, so why bother trying to find it or risk having things not go as they envision.

Love is real. It takes risk, but that risk can lead to great reward sometimes.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Definitely, no question!! Seen it first hand. 

I would suggest to anyone who doesn't believe in it to go talk to a couple who's been together for 40 or 50 or 60 years and, even in their elder ages, are still going strong and happy. That's what did it for me.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Of course love is real.

It just isn't what we've been brainwashed to think it is via movies/books/tv.


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## i just want luv (Feb 13, 2011)

I dont want pretend things.


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## Aedan (Jul 21, 2011)

I believe in love, although I never found the right person to kindle this flame in me...

Or maybe it's just me being an insensitive person ?


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

There are different kinds of love. There is the media and romantic love with is more of an infatuation, and then there is the deeper, more fulfilling respected/appreciated love which typically comes with time from knowing someone well.

Yes, I believe in love.


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## watashi (Feb 6, 2008)

Perfectionist said:


> Do I believe in love? Hell yes.
> 
> Do I think love is similar to how it is portrayed in movies and music and books? Hell no.


+1


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## BuzzAldrin (Jun 20, 2010)

Of course love is real. 
I've seen it and I found it.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

You should specify what you mean. Of course love is real. I feel it whenever I look at my little brother.


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## Squirrelevant (Jul 27, 2008)

I've felt it, so yes.


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

Undecided, If I ever find out I will edit this post.


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## melissa75 (Feb 16, 2010)

Perfectionist said:


> Do I believe in love? Hell yes.
> 
> Do I think love is similar to how it is portrayed in movies and music and books? Hell no.


:yes

I definitely believe in love, although, I do have a hard time believing it will happen for me. Love is real, and it can take a lot of work. Sometimes it is not instant, either. You can grow to love someone and fall in love. A lot of people, incl. myself, give up on it too quickly because it doesn't fit their unrealistic expectations.


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## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

> *Do you believe in love?*


I want to. I'll leave it at that.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

Yes as in, a parent's love for a child and such. No for relationships because it's basically lust which is why most relationships fail. Just my opinion.


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## Fantas Eyes (Mar 23, 2011)

I'm a hopeless romantic, enough said.


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## Tugwahquah (Apr 13, 2011)

I agree with what Quazimoto said. My feelings about "love" (as in a relationship), is that its easy to fall into, it is blind, its wonderful to be in, its complicated, and it hurts like hell to loose it. For me, being in love requires too much maintenance, and I haven't the time or energy to dedicate my emotions into it. For now, i'm working on getting myself better, and learning to love myself, and my life.


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## Elleire (Jul 24, 2011)

To the extent that a feeling can be "real" - whatever that means - yes.


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## rumjungle (Feb 13, 2009)

Yes of course I believe in love- I'm waiting for my Highlander time travel romance to happen any day now. A hunky kilted man will say he "smells Woman" and initiate a love that transcends cliche.

Edit: why has no one posted a certain Huey Lewis & the News song yet? I'll do the honours.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

"Love" is just a word. You either like someone or you don't. You can like someone more than someone else, but the word "love" is meaningless.


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## Perkins (Dec 14, 2010)

A lot of the time I think we love what we perceive in others.


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## sociallyawkward85 (Aug 7, 2011)

truthfully not so much, if love exited in my life i would have someone i feel women dont like me so what the use.


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## liktheangel (Oct 23, 2010)

"Unconditional" love is real like the love between a parent and a child or vise versa. It's not the same as being in "love".


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## mirry (Jul 20, 2011)

I do think there is "love," but I disagree with a lot of different views on it. People put a lot of different meanings to the word. And I feel there's a huge difference between physical and mental love, as well as family vs. relationships.

At the end of the day it is just a word, but it's also an emotion. There's also a deep personal connection, a caring, with someone I'd say I love-- to me, that's love. I don't know what other word I could use to describe it. I don't think it's easy to love, but I feel like it's such a good thing to have. I love my family in a way that you really can only love your family, and the love I have for my boyfriend is the same in some ways but very different in other ways.

I think to say that there is no such thing as love is.. I don't know, judgmental? Pessimistic? Love is different for everyone and I feel like that way of thinking will prevent you from making close personal bonds.


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## lanzman (Jun 14, 2004)

It's real. Just not a reality for me.


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## Marakunda (Jun 7, 2011)

What kinda question is this?! Of course it's real, you just have to find it. 

And those people who don't "believe" in love, are just sh*t at finding it, no doubt.


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## Timeofallout (Jun 23, 2010)

Perfectionist said:


> Do I believe in love? Hell yes.
> 
> Do I think love is similar to how it is portrayed in movies and music and
> books? Hell no.


+ one more.


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## Cole87 (Aug 15, 2011)

Yea, I had it ones. Looking for that someone again is a big pain in the @$$.


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## ktbare (Sep 13, 2009)

Yes I do, but I've come to learn that there are different kinds of love. There's a love that never fades, like the love you have for your children, it will always be the same no matter what. 
Then there's the love you have for your lover or partner, its strange, when it ends, if it ended on their part, you think you will never stop loving them but you do, you have to, its like your mind learns how to protect itself and move on so you can love again. And when it feels right and you're with the right person its much better

And either way I've found, you suffer and it hurts. With any kind of love.


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## gomenne (Oct 3, 2009)

It doesn't exist, well it does but it is extremely rare.
Too many people live on this earth, it is almost impossible for two people to feel strongly for each other, a one way love of course exists, it happens everyday. But the other kind isn't possible. 
Even the parent's love to their children isn't that common


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## Cynical (Aug 23, 2011)

I believe in love cause its absolutely true, no matter how much pain it put me through there is nothing better than the feeling of loving someone with your whole being and being loved the same way too.

'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all. this saying is right on the money. I never could have conceived how ignorant I was before...


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## Godless1 (Aug 1, 2008)

As far as obsessive romantic love, I don't believe in it like I don't believe in anorexia. That is, it's obviously a real phenomenon, but I don't approve of it. The media, and society as a whole, glorify the hell out of it because it makes for a good story. 

However, I don't think it is healthy to be that obsessed with anything. For some reason, it's totally acceptable to be pathologically addicted to another person. Think of the sappiest love poem, and then imagine those sentiments expressed about anything other than a gf/bf (or maybe Jesus), and it becomes batsh*t crazy. "Oh, model trains, you are my everything, my one and only, without you I would wither and die". Crazy!

Moderation in all things, people.


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## Bloody Pit Of Horror (Aug 15, 2011)

Get a woman with the same ideals maybe the same difficulties as I without being overly intimidating than yes I believe love is possible. But whether I am self-deceived or not, my SA demands conditions.


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## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)

Yes I believe in it and I have found it. Me and my soul mate found each other and I love him and no one could tell me otherwise. 

Also, a parents love for their child is something pretty spectacular. I love my little monster so much it makes me cry. He's just so amazing, beautiful, perfect in every way.. I wouldn't trade him for anything.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Love exists, just not the kind that is in fairy tales.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

liktheangel said:


> I can't be the only one in thinking that love isn't real. I think people put too much emphasis on the concept of love and being in love. I had a classmate tell me that he didn't believe in love because for centuries the concept of love didn't matter; it was more about finding someone who could provide (money, kids, shelter, food,etc.). I thought about and I think he's right.
> 
> I think movies, music, books,etc. feed us as people an idea of love and that one day we'll meet _____ and live happily ever after. I don't think that's true for most people.


 I know many people will disagree but I think most people love themselves and they want someone else to feel the same way about them as they feel about themselves. The problem, however, is obvious. No one really loves anyone else. Everyone is in love with themselves.

Think about it. If you have a GF/BF, you probably love the way they make you feel. But wait! How do you really feel about them? What about when they say something mean that hurts your feelings? That loving feeling can go away pretty quick (if only temporarily). If you only love them when they make you feel good, is that really love as the word is commonly accepted?

This is obviously an uncomfortable position but is it true? I don't really know but I have often wondered if there is anything that goes on with human beings that isn't selfish to some degree.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Yes, it exists, but extremely difficult to get.


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## watashi (Feb 6, 2008)

PickleNose said:


> I know many people will disagree but I think most people love themselves and they want someone else to feel the same way about them as they feel about themselves. The problem, however, is obvious. No one really loves anyone else. Everyone is in love with themselves.
> 
> Think about it. If you have a GF/BF, you probably love the way they make you feel. But wait! How do you really feel about them? What about when they say something mean that hurts your feelings? That loving feeling can go away pretty quick (if only temporarily). If you only love them when they make you feel good, is that really love as the word is commonly accepted?
> 
> This is obviously an uncomfortable position but is it true? I don't really know but I have often wondered if there is anything that goes on with human beings that isn't selfish to some degree.


While it's true that humans are selfish, it doesn't mean they don't have moments when they can sacrifice their own interests to make another person happy. If you don't want to do anything for them, then it's probably just a crush, not love. I found it feels great to make someone you like smile and see how happy they are. Of course, you want them to do things for you too.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

watashi said:


> While it's true that humans are selfish, it doesn't mean they don't have moments when they can sacrifice their own interests to make another person happy.


 But the point is that it's still in their interest to make the other person happy because it makes them feel good to do it.



> I found it feels great to make someone you like smile and see how happy they are.


 This is what I mean. It feels good. Isn't that why people really do it?



> Of course, you want them to do things for you too.


 But in this case, if you only want to make them happy, they're doing something for you just by responding.


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## watashi (Feb 6, 2008)

PickleNose said:


> This is what I mean. It feels good. Isn't that why people really do it?


Well, yes. But why does it feel good? Because you're making someone else feel good. So that's not entirely selfish.

And I could probably think of examples when a person does something for another person without any benefit for themselves. Like when you know they're not going to go out with you, but you do something for them anyway.


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## rgrwng (Aug 25, 2011)

I _love _fried rice. i _love _shark gummies. if love is liking something because its good, then yes i believe it. as far as love in relationships, i never had the experience, but i think love is some kind of an extended, life-long friendship.


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## TallGirl (Aug 23, 2011)

Love is real. It's an odd question to ask. If you have ever been close to a family member you know love. Love is an emotion which is triggered by neurotransmitters in your brain. 
However, the idea of a one or true love... well I don't know if I believe in that. I know that I have loved more than one man in my life and I'm only in my 20's. I also don't know if I believe in monogamy anymore either since all of my exs cheated on me. I love love, but it can be a heartache.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

watashi said:


> Well, yes. But why does it feel good? Because you're making someone else feel good. So that's not entirely selfish.


 But why do you want to make someone else feel good? This one I'm not so sure about but I wonder if we'd really want to if there was nothing at all in it for us and if society (entertainment, etch) didn't actively encourage it from the moment we're old enough to understand anything.



> And I could probably think of examples when a person does something for another person without any benefit for themselves. Like when you know they're not going to go out with you, but you do something for them anyway.


 Right. But it runs into the same thing. You're doing it for your own reasons even if it doesn't seem like you get anything tangible. Clearly you still do get something.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

Most women don't love, they _feel special_. They often confuse this feeling with love.


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## BKrakow (Jul 8, 2010)

love is definitely real. most people just suck at it.


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

Proper romantic love (not neediness) is hard to find and not everybody does unfortunately, but I experience different kinds of love for many things daily.

Can't you feel it?


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## Resonance (Feb 11, 2010)

Yes, but it is not anything like it is portrayed in films, books, songs and other media. This idealised portrayal only serves to make people feel inadequate and lose belief that love even exists. It does, it's just not like our TV teaches us it is from a very early age, but shaking off these kinds of comparison is difficult.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

Most people's idea of love is getting off on their own brain chemicals.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

^Unfortunately that does not explain the bond between mother and child or the immense feeling of grief experienced when someone close dies. I take it you refer only to romantic love though.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

Are thoughts chemicals per chance? Or merely by-products of the interaction of certain chemicals in the brain? How do we define that the same processes, for example, are involved in interactions on higher and lower streams of consciousness in the chemical brain, whereby thoughts may begin having an influence on 'feelings' such as love? I ponder the interconnectedness of the two and wonder if maybe the conscious mind has a significant influence over the eventuation of certain chemicals like 'oxytocin' being synthesized.


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## TallGirl (Aug 23, 2011)

Nidhoggr said:


> Are thoughts chemicals per chance? Or merely by-products of the interaction of certain chemicals in the brain? How do we define that the same processes, for example, are involved in interactions on higher and lower streams of consciousness in the chemical brain, whereby thoughts may begin having an influence on 'feelings' such as love? I ponder the interconnectedness of the two and wonder if maybe the conscious mind has a significant influence over the eventuation of certain chemicals like 'oxytocin' being synthesized.


Just referring to the mother child dynamic:
The soft spot on an infant's head actually gives off the oxytocin... that's the "baby smell" it is what fosters that trust and bond between mother and child. The baby also doesn't have the cognitive function to influence the oxytocin being given off.


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## MoniqueS (Feb 21, 2011)

I don't know. I have never been in love. But I would really like to believe its real. But another element is whether or not I think I'm capable of having it. I'm extremely confused about love and relationships right now.


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## Witchcraft (Jan 19, 2010)

Yes, that's one of very few things that I believe in.


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

I guess I oxytocin the hell out of my kids, then.

All of our emotions are chemically based. Adreniline, cortisol, etc, are behind some of our strong and typically thought of as negative emotions, but that chemical base doesn't make those any less real.

Love is real. Like several others have said "the dizzy, dancing way you feel" wears off and then you start acting consciously rather than reacting to your physiology. Lust is a piece of cake. Deciding to love someone and then doing it is pretty monumental, though.


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

PickleNose said:


> But why do you want to make someone else feel good? This one I'm not so sure about but I wonder if we'd really want to if there was nothing at all in it for us and if society (entertainment, etch) didn't actively encourage it from the moment we're old enough to understand anything.
> 
> Right. But it runs into the same thing. You're doing it for your own reasons even if it doesn't seem like you get anything tangible. Clearly you still do get something.


I tend to agree that we're not really wired to be truly selfless, and you can make a strong case for the survival enhancing nature of being altruistic. but, does that make love less?


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

Blah, that's not what I meant. Guess no one got the point, nvm.


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## Ckg2011 (Aug 9, 2011)

Yes I do believe in Love, I just wish Love believed in me.


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## Elleire (Jul 24, 2011)

TPower said:


> Most women don't love, they _feel special_. They often confuse this feeling with love.


I'd _love_ to see where you're getting this intimate knowledge of the inner-workings of most female brains.

Inquiring female minds are dying to know, but I suppose you already knew that. :yes


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

phoelomek said:


> I'd _love_ to see where you're getting this intimate knowledge of the inner-workings of most female brains.
> 
> Inquiring female minds are dying to know, but I suppose you already knew that. :yes


Um, let's put it this way.

How could you rationally explain that sometimes, a person decides she just doesn't love her partner anymore, for no reason, because she just doesn't _feel it_?

That's BS. You love a person for who she is, not for the butterflies in your stomach. That's what I call durable relationships. Those who "_love_" out of that _feeling special_ feeling have no stability whatsoever in their relationships.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

TallGirl said:


> Just referring to the mother child dynamic:
> The soft spot on an infant's head actually gives off the oxytocin... that's the "baby smell" it is what fosters that trust and bond between mother and child. *The baby also doesn't have the cognitive function to influence the oxytocin being given off.*


Curious if scientific assumption or fact, or perhaps if this were merely a personal afterthought?

Don't _forget _infants have a low capacity for long term memory. To suggest with utmost certainty that a baby does not have 'that' level of cognitive functioning, which isn't specific to begin with, is very scientifically (or perhaps in this case personally presumptuous) and I remain unconvinced with the information provided.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

Atticus said:


> I guess I oxytocin the hell out of my kids, then.
> 
> All of our emotions are chemically based. Adreniline, cortisol, etc, are behind some of our strong and typically thought of as negative emotions, but that chemical base doesn't make those any less real.
> 
> Love is real. Like several others have said "the dizzy, dancing way you feel" wears off and then you start acting consciously rather than reacting to your physiology. Lust is a piece of cake. *Deciding to love someone and then doing it is pretty monumental, though*.


Precisely the grey matter of discussion I was attempting to instigate here. The concious brain and the lower (emotional/chemical) streams of consciousness might be more independently functioning than we take it upon ourselves to assume.

Conversely, the most interesting aspect is how influenced the conscious brain is by the emotional/chemical one.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

odd_one_out said:


> Blah, that's not what I meant. Guess no one got the point, nvm.


Nothing wrong with stimulating a little discussion!


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

You misread what I originally wrote, that's all.

I'll explain a little what I'd meant now I'm more bothered. It wasn't supposed to be deep or drawn out, but succinct. Most people think love is about getting off on their own pleasure centres, whether romantic love or friendship. Mostly romantic love. A few people see love more as putting another's needs before their own at a cost to themselves. Sacrifice and responsibility.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

liktheangel said:


> I think movies, music, books,etc. feed us as people an idea of love and that one day we'll meet _____ and live happily ever after. I don't think that's true for most people.


I agree with this. Books and movies, etc. are bull****. 
I know for a fact that love is NOT real. At least not for me. Never has been and never will be. 
Only people who I ever truly loved or that loved me...has been blood-family. **** everyone else.


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