# Being asked if I have friends...



## 2Milk (Oct 29, 2014)

This idiot keeps asking me what I do on my free time and if I have any friends, if I have a gf, what kind of girls am I into, etc.... I swear to god this girl just loves to annoy me. She does this in front of everyone, and I feel stupid because I don't have any friends and can't get a gf. fml


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## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

Play it off. Agree and amplify. Respond that you don't have any friends; you're an alien on an observation assignment to determine if humanity should be slayed or enslaved. Don't take her too seriously. Throw words back at her face.


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## Rosefollicles (Mar 27, 2016)

Who you are isn't something to be ashamed of. We all have things about ourselves that we are less than satisfied about, and that's okay. If you're not comfortable talking about it, though, this girl should respect that and not try to poke answers out of you that you don't want to answer.

The easiest way to communicate that you're not comfortable discussing a topic is to deflect possibly with humor, if it's manageable.

If I was in a situation where I didn't want to talk about my taste in girls for example, and someone asked me, I might say something that is easily trivialized like, "ah, you know, there are so many great kinds out there, I can't really just pick a few. That would be unfair to all the other great girls." Because then I can always go back and say it was just a joke if someone holds on to that. And then if they asked again more specifically you can play it up more, or you can shut down a topic completely by saying something plain like "I don't want to talk about that." or maybe even better "that's not something I care to discuss/talk about".

Privacy boundaries are very individual from person to person, and if this girl for some reason can't sense, or won't respect your privacy boundary, you have to make it clear to her where it is, and that you don't like her crossing it. Again, though, I don't think there's anything wrong with not being able to find a girlfriend or not having a lot of friends. It's not something that I think should ever be a shameful thing.


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## Rosefollicles (Mar 27, 2016)

Keep in mind that the girl might just be playing with you, or want to get to know you better. Maybe her intentions are noble, and she just wants to be your friend. Or maybe she has trouble handling social situations in a tactful manner, and it simply didn't cross her mind that the topic might be uncomfortable for you. 

It's a good idea to look at the cues she's sending out, and try to imagine why she's doing what she's doing, so you don't angrily shut her down, when all she was trying to do was joke around for example.


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## izzobaby (Jun 22, 2015)

Hey OP,

This has happened to me and its flipping irritating. The girl sounds pretty shallow. 
When I have been in this situation I just either avoid the person, however if they are in your environment I would just tell them politely to chill the fu<k out and get out my face. Nosey people like this girl need to get a life. Hope you can find a resolution soon.


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## CloudChaser (Nov 7, 2013)

****! A human being, engaging you in conversation, showing an interest whether superficial or otherwise in your life.

I can't believe another person would stoop to such a low. Call the police.


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## Dante Alighieri (Jan 23, 2017)

Sometimes people want to approach us but they simply don't know how to it the right way because they have no idea about how it sucks to deal with SA in our daily lives. But maybe this girl is really trying to make fun of you in front of others. Your interpersonal relationships and how you spend your free time is not her bussiness, and you have to make it clear. Keep in your mind that you are better than just a couple of annoying words.


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## Destormjanina1 (Jan 9, 2017)

I hate when people assume I have friends, then when I tell them I don't they proceed to badger me about telling them about my friends as though I didn't just tell them I don't have any.


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## pixiepirate (Feb 11, 2017)

maybe flirting with you in a weird way?


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## 2Milk (Oct 29, 2014)

pixiepirate said:


> maybe flirting with you in a weird way?


Nope, she's a b*tch and is only out to humiliate me. Luckily I have other people on my side (for once).


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## The Library of Emma (Mar 3, 2016)

how would you react if being single was the accepted norm, and these were a bunch of strange people trying to act like it wasn't? that is probably close to a good reaction for this.


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## 2Milk (Oct 29, 2014)

shrimpkid said:


> Just say you play videogames or read in your spare time... because what's wrong with those activities? Nothing. Whether you have a gf or not doesn't matter because more than a million men on this earth don't have one either -- normal.
> 
> I would've said that she's flirting with you... but I'll take your word that she's a total *****. Why does she even care so about you anyways? Ask her why she's so obsessed with you..


That's usually what I say too. I say: I really don't mind being alone, I play video games and watch youtube is there a problem with my life style?


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Where does this happen? Isn't there someone you can tell to make her stop?


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## 2Milk (Oct 29, 2014)

WillYouStopDave said:


> Where does this happen? Isn't there someone you can tell to make her stop?


Work.

Now (thanks to her) my "friends" have started asking me if i have any friends and what do i do besides school and work. I use friends in quotes because one of them told me that we are just really good co-workers, and not friends, because i always turn down her rides and never hang out with her outside of work.

It's really embarrassing telling people that I have no friends or a gf, especially to people that i actually like.

I currently use the excuse that I dont have a drivers licence so i dont go out much because I have to take the bus everywhere (which is true). I also tell them that I have a busy schedule, which is also true.


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## TreeOfWolf (Oct 17, 2016)

That's a weird question, to ask if someone has any friends... Maybe she has none and wants to know if there's room in your life to be friends together... If it's some popular rich girl asking you "do you even have any friends" with a mocking smile... You can reply "Do you really think that your facebook friends will help you when you're in trouble?"

I tend to think that everyone is out to get me after being burned...

Maybe she's trying to bond... I found out the hard way that it's impossible to have friends if we don't get vulnerable enough to let them get to know the real us... 

But yeah it's a weird question.

But you have to go out and socialize if you want people to feel bonded enough with you to consider you a friend... sharing life experiences... not just being in the same room because we have to (work, school)... If you'd rather be alone as an introvert, it's a choice. But then don't feel shamed. 

You can simply say that you enjoy solitary activities and haven't found someone that you'd enjoy sharing them with yet.

Asking you your lover type sounds like regular conversation between chicks... Not the intellectual type, more the superficial girl that think her only purpose in life is to please boys, because advertising by men told her so... You can answer that and do small talk... That part doesn't sound like an attack, just regular extrovert gossip...

Try to play along? I'd rather drown in my own vomit... so good luck.


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