# My dad makes me feel bad about myself



## nexus321 (Mar 4, 2013)

My dad loves to mention how well my cousins are doing and comparing me to them. I have this one cousin, he was a very thin and shy guy. My dad told me that he's a bouncer at a nightclub now and he's ripped. Made me feel worthless. I mean the guy was the shyest person I'd ever met. I bet he's not even a virgin now. Even he has passed me by in life. I have depression and my dad knows this, I told him to stop mentioning things like that and he went off on me. Telling me I was crazy and that he couldn't talk to me. I hate talking to him.


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## Tymes Rhymes (May 28, 2014)

My dad doesn't talk to me much but when he does, I can sense the disappointment from him.

He always mentions how others are doing in relation to me. He always mentions how he has never had anxiety or depression so I shouldn't either according to his logic.

It is too taxing on me to talk to my family, I already feel like ****,I don't want to feel worse.


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## zanemwarwick (Jun 18, 2017)

My dad does something similar.

I know he's concerned but repeating "why can't you be normal like everyone else?" makes me feel more abnormal.

I think they take it personally when their children are not up to some standard.


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## analyticalan (Jun 2, 2017)

My dad is the same - it used to bother me a lot when I was younger, but I've grown to filter it out because I know that he isn't saying these things to hurt me. I know that my dad has good intentions because he has supported me through a lot of tough times and if he didn't love me, he wouldn't care at all.

Some of my cousins are doing better than me, but they haven't had to deal with things I've dealt with, such as mental illness and struggling with my sexuality. I'm sure that you've also had obstacles to overcome that your cousins haven't had in their lives. I think you have to be proud of your own achievements and not compare yourself to others, even when your dad is making a comparison.


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## nexus321 (Mar 4, 2013)

I feel like... nothing is ever going to workout for me. Hard to concentrate on things when people constantly drag me down.


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## stephanie13021988 (Jun 8, 2011)

My parents are the same. It's amazing how they can find every other child better than their own. My mom grew up thinking making fun of other helps them become better... yes my mom makes fun of me. The worthlessness is slowly killing me. Anyway I feel ya mate. Ignore your dad *hug*


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## nexus321 (Mar 4, 2013)

stephanie13021988 said:


> My parents are the same. It's amazing how they can find every other child better than their own. My mom grew up thinking making fun of other helps them become better... yes my mom makes fun of me. The worthlessness is slowly killing me. Anyway I feel ya mate. Ignore your dad *hug*


Thanks, hugs


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

My mom does this. It doesn't bother me too much except that it's really annoying. I don't much care whether or not they're doing better than me. It's just that she won't shut up about it because she thinks it's going to have some kind of effect on me. That's what makes it irritating. Anytime someone harps on something constantly it gets really old really fast.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

I've been told by my mother to never compare my life to others. They shine when it's their time.


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## socialbutterflywannabe (Feb 18, 2017)

nexus321 said:


> I feel like... nothing is ever going to workout for me. Hard to concentrate on things when people constantly drag me down.


I feel you 100% and their criticism isn't going to help you. I had a low moment in my life 7 years ago, I believe I suffered from mild depression, that summer my dad tore me to pieces. If I could go back in time and show myself what I have today, I wouldn't have deep emotional scars. My dad would tell me things like "you will morbidly obese in 10 years" (I have a hour glass shape, flat stomach, not bragging, but guys I dated loved my body), "your life will be so bad that you will turn to drugs" (never done drugs, never plan to) and one of the most hurtful "you are like an amoeba, you just exist (how's that for an esteem booster huh?). He has said a lot of really depressing things to me.

I am slowly healing and the way I did that is I stopped listening to a lot of things he says. When I got out of college, I wasted a year at home, I wanted a job, any job to get out there w/people and to make money. He wanted me to get a job related to my field, didn't give me any suggestions and put me down when I tried for a min wage job. Eventually I said screw it and took the 1st job that came my way. Despite the job not being what I wanted to do, I learned a lot and grew as a person. This job even got me experience relevant to what I wanted to do, also helped me get experience for my job. Sitting at home and looking for jobs gets you no experience. Good luck and ultimately do what makes you happy, healthy and successful in life. Running around trying to please people like that is a waste of time.

I was always compared to others as well. I believe this tactic is stupid as all people are different and no one is going to take the same path.


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## nexus321 (Mar 4, 2013)

socialbutterflywannabe said:


> I feel you 100% and their criticism isn't going to help you. I had a low moment in my life 7 years ago, I believe I suffered from mild depression, that summer my dad tore me to pieces. If I could go back in time and show myself what I have today, I wouldn't have deep emotional scars. My dad would tell me things like "you will morbidly obese in 10 years" (I have a hour glass shape, flat stomach, not bragging, but guys I dated loved my body), "your life will be so bad that you will turn to drugs" (never done drugs, never plan to) and one of the most hurtful "you are like an amoeba, you just exist (how's that for an esteem booster huh?). He has said a lot of really depressing things to me.
> 
> I am slowly healing and the way I did that is I stopped listening to a lot of things he says. When I got out of college, I wasted a year at home, I wanted a job, any job to get out there w/people and to make money. He wanted me to get a job related to my field, didn't give me any suggestions and put me down when I tried for a min wage job. Eventually I said screw it and took the 1st job that came my way. Despite the job not being what I wanted to do, I learned a lot and grew as a person. This job even got me experience relevant to what I wanted to do, also helped me get experience for my job. Sitting at home and looking for jobs gets you no experience. Good luck and ultimately do what makes you happy, healthy and successful in life. Running around trying to please people like that is a waste of time.
> 
> I was always compared to others as well. I believe this tactic is stupid as all people are different and no one is going to take the same path.


Hey thanks for commenting. Yeah it seems like our fathers are very similar. I'm sorry you had to go through that and I hope everything works out for you and you get the job you want.


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## Anxiety Is In the Past (Aug 15, 2017)

We just got to prove our moms and dads wrong.We will succeed.


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