# Don't go to college



## nooneknowsmyname (Feb 4, 2013)

If you're like me and struggle with making friends, don't go. You'll feel lonley and want to kill yourself if you do. And it's hard to focus and get good grades when you're trying not to kill yourself.


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## Fuzzycoffeecup (May 10, 2015)

I don't know. SA and lack of friendships can make college difficult, for sure. But many people are successful in spite of that. I know one girl who just completely put making friends aside in order to focus on coursework. She made her classes her focus and didn't worry about anything else. I guess it's all about what matters to you.


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## Fuzzycoffeecup (May 10, 2015)

Also, don't feel like you can never make friends just because you have difficulty at one place and period in time. You can never know for sure what the future holds. Don't assume that just because things are difficult now, that they always will be. Hang in there. And for now, focus on what you can do to make your life feel more worthwhile, with or without college friends. Maybe you have some hobbies you enjoy?


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## TuxedoChief (Jan 11, 2015)

Trying to not screw up grades? Yeah, I know how that feels too well.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

I thought about going to college but after reading your post, I have changed my mind...

You sir have enlightened me, thank you for your profound wisdom...


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## sighsigh (Nov 9, 2010)

> And it's hard to focus and get good grades when you're trying to kill yourself


Hahahaha, story of my *****ing life.


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## bruised (Feb 10, 2013)

Do you mean dorm?


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

nooneknowsmyname said:


> If you're like me and struggle with making friends, don't go. You'll feel lonley and want to kill yourself if you do. And it's hard to focus and get good grades when you're trying not to kill yourself.


College is not a place meant to make friends, it's called college and not social club. Making friends is, at most, a secondary aspect of it.


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## whocares187 (May 23, 2015)

this is not a troll, this man speaks the truth. I went through it too. Barely passed. If you do struggle with making friends the loneliness can drive you quite mad. months without human interaction can lead to too much soliattary interaction..... 

degrees are meh anyway.


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## StaceyLaine14 (Apr 11, 2015)

sajs said:


> College is not a place meant to make friends, it's called college and not social club. Making friend is at most, a secondary aspect of it.


When you're surrounded by people holding hands, walking the streets in groups dressed for parties, and laughing with their newfound best friends, it's pretty hard to keep academics at the forefront of your mind at all times. A lot of what I saw were young, hot students flaunting their social success in my viewing space, and it really made me feel inferior.


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## Tiffiduliu (Jul 7, 2014)

Don't use that as an excuse not to go to college.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

nooneknowsmyname said:


> If you're like me and struggle with making friends, don't go. You'll feel lonley and want to kill yourself if you do. And it's hard to focus and get good grades when you're trying not to kill yourself.


The purpose of college isn't to make friends. It's to help you get a good paying job in the future.


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## Nilufar (Jan 17, 2014)

Yeah but it won't be better somewhere else. What should change? I won't have friends at work, either, and my collegues will go out together every other night and exclude me. They may also try to replace me with someone more likeable and fire me.


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## NE2 (May 5, 2015)

I failed out of college (depression-related loss of interest), but until this year it was the best time of my life socially. It of course helped that I went to a geeky dorm at a nerdy school, but I felt like part of a community despite my social awkwardness.


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

StaceyLaine14 said:


> When you're surrounded by people holding hands, walking the streets in groups dressed for parties, and laughing with their newfound best friends, it's pretty hard to keep academics at the forefront of your mind at all times. A lot of what I saw were young, hot students flaunting their social success in my viewing space, and it really made me feel inferior.


You will see this everywhere, this is not a reason to not go to college, don't be resident in a campus if you don't want, if you don't, the things you might encounter in your way are not much different from those you will find when going to the store to buy milk.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Having an education is important. The OP's reasons for not going to college are juvenile at best. I have vision issues and made it through college perfectly fine.

If I can handle a 5 year stretch, you can too.


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## OrbitalResonance (Sep 21, 2010)

Get some willpower, go to business school, learn some crap, start a company, become rich. Self actualize. Use the power to make the world a better place. The power of an un-distracted human and their will is immense and is available to anyone.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

nubly said:


> The purpose of college isn't to make friends. It's to help you get a good paying job in the future.


Hahahaha.

So how about all of us that did go, that got it all done and then get out with no jobs and tons of debt, and wasting almost a decade of life to boot? College is not really worth it anymore, wages for college graduates peaked in 2000.


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

This is terrible advice.



You want a reason to not go to college?

Crippling lifelong debt.


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## OutsideR1 (Mar 13, 2014)

That's like saying dont go to work, it's hard to make friends. Yeah its not easy but you cant just not do anything in life.

Although the whole debt thing is a more valid reason, but just pick a smart major.


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## StaceyLaine14 (Apr 11, 2015)

sajs said:


> StaceyLaine14 said:
> 
> 
> > When you're surrounded by people holding hands, walking the streets in groups dressed for parties, and laughing with their newfound best friends, it's pretty hard to keep academics at the forefront of your mind at all times. A lot of what I saw were young, hot students flaunting their social success in my viewing space, and it really made me feel inferior.
> ...


I don't find this heavy of a concentration of young, attractive, happy, sexually active individuals at my local grocery store. As a matter of fact, the minute I step off campus the average age and attractiveness of the people I'm surrounded by change dramatically and most importantly, they aren't walking around with their significant other. At my grocery store, I'm far more likely to find single mothers shopping alone.

B) I don't think it's a valid reason not to go either. I was just expressing that I can relate to where the OP is coming from.


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## OrbitalResonance (Sep 21, 2010)

Go to a university with online classes or a distant satellite campus.

Problem solved


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## Morpheus (May 26, 2006)

Plenty of people don't go to college and still feel lonley and want to kill themselves. Going to college or not going won't really change that. The most important thing is to get professional help and to try your hardest to work on your illnesses.


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## anthropy (Sep 5, 2014)

Im a lot more lonely sitting here at home rotting away.. I don't see how I can get even more lonely.. maybe If i see others interacting and me being excluded again due to being abnormal, I guess..
Still I have to overcome this disease before I can consider that, and it might be too late at this old age let alone how old I will be if I ever recover..
I need to do something though.. Im simply sick of being a worthless NEET.
Its considerably harder to acquire a gf in this position.. then again it feels like its too late for that as well.. Im running out of time and there are a lot of catch 22s in front of me.. by the time i've bettered myself I would've lost my youth and it won't even matter anymore! I'm quite doomed to a sad lonely miserable life of despair and suffering.. I know it.


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## Mentalhead (Oct 7, 2011)

This is one of reasons why I skipped college, I was too afraid to start over in a new place. Sometimes I wish I had more guts. Maybe I would have met some nice people.
Maybe I would feel lonely and like crap, but again, it's better to try than just give up.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

I don't go to college to make friends. I go to better set myself up for a future career. I suck at friendships and I don't want a lot of friends anyway.


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## blacksabattical (May 29, 2015)

Mentalhead said:


> This is one of reasons why I skipped college, I was too afraid to start over in a new place. Sometimes I wish I had more guts. Maybe I would have met some nice people.
> Maybe I would feel lonely and like crap, but again, it's better to try than just give up.


There's quite a few lonely people on my course, but everyone just gets on with it. Uni is a million times better than high school.


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## Cool Ice Dude55 (Jan 7, 2014)

I didnt go to "college" and I dont regret it all. But I am lonely though.


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## AHolivier (Aug 6, 2009)

.


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## Methodical (Jul 18, 2014)

gopherinferno said:


> This is terrible advice.
> 
> You want a reason to not go to college?
> 
> Crippling lifelong debt.


Employers still want a bachelor's degree, although they're using the degrees as an arbitrary benchmark to deny suitable applicants from middle-skill jobs. They'll toss your resume in the trash bin if they don't see a traditional degree. I've seen job listings from IT help desks to office secretaries that require a bachelor's degree.


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## Miranda The Panda (Apr 5, 2015)

nooneknowsmyname said:


> If you're like me and struggle with making friends, don't go. You'll feel lonley and want to kill yourself if you do. And it's hard to focus and get good grades when you're trying not to kill yourself.


The primary goal of college is to learn and get a degree so you can hopefully get a decent job. It's not at all about making friends, that would just be a bonus.


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## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

Screw the friends thing. Many people often lose touch with each other after graduating (ie: hanging out with each other personally)....unless they choose to stay in the same town several years post-graduation. I survived and I've seen few others survive on this site as well. Some us might have lost friends or might have not made any friends period over the years. But, the damn thing is finally over.


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## ashen (Mar 25, 2014)

sajs said:


> College is not a place meant to make friends, it's called college and not social club. Making friends is, at most, a secondary aspect of it.


It actually is a social thing truth is you can't make it very far without connections. 
In the end careers are a collaboration of people and employers want to see that. Not to mention getting a job would be easier if you knew people in the industry


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## bfs (Jan 9, 2015)

If you don't want to go to college because you feel you don't need it and have a plan in another way fine. But to just tell someone not to go to college is pretty dumb.


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## Proud Paperclip (Jul 11, 2014)

sajs said:


> College is not a place meant to make friends, it's called college and not social club. Making friends is, at most, a secondary aspect of it.


This definitely. School is about getting a degree, not a friend. Sure, friends could happen but really schools are for obtaining and education for yourself. You can make friends later whilst working in the field of interest you studied in.


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## skys (Mar 14, 2014)

I wasn't prepared upon entering college and as a result wasted a large sum of my parent's money. I will eventually repay them after finding full-time employment but it continues to be a tremendous source of regret.


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## thetown (Aug 16, 2014)

And what if you don't go to college? This shouldn't be a one sided issue. Sure debt can be a problem, but it shouldn't be an issue in the long run. Not going to college isn't giving you any sort of advantage. Unless you have your eyes set deep into your future and starting a company or something, you better hope that minimum wage at Mickey D's is raising.

College is become of a necessity than anything else. Also tuition is really steep these days and sometimes I see it as a rip-off than anything, but good jobs are extremely competitive so go to college kids.


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## anthropy (Sep 5, 2014)

maybe I will study abroad where its free.. you know its free in germany and nordic countries among others for international students.
Of course theres living expenses.. but there are always living expenses.


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## sl0wdiv3 (Jun 1, 2015)

I disagree. University can be a sanctuary from the outside world.


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## Agricola (Feb 20, 2015)

College can be a good idea if you are committed to studying and maybe have scholarships or other forms of financial aid that reduces your debt burden. However, if you dislike school and are not crazy about continuing your studies in an purely academic setting, maybe something like trade school would be a better deal. 

When it comes to social matters at college, worry less about making friends and more about making connections that could lead to a job in the future. Networking is very important. It stinks for people with SA, but that is just the way of the world, unfortunately.


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## quewezance (Sep 9, 2013)

I doubt anyone is ging take a kid like me, that dropped out 3 times in high school and barely scraped by. A process that will most likely happen again if i try university or college. 

Yeah my future is ****ed.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

I don't get why you even need friends to go to college.


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## wine1345 (Dec 22, 2013)

Im in college and i MADE friends. Highgschool was hell for me. I pay like 60 euros a moth for college in my country. Its that cheap.


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## VinBZ (Nov 2, 2013)

I don't think this is good advice. A lot of people on this board would benefit greatly from getting out into the world and doing things. Encouraging people to be fearful and avoidant is not healthy.


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## intermittent (Jun 10, 2015)

College is free in Germany and lots of students from the USA and UK are going there apparently. I'm actually thinking of doing a masters there to get out of my comfort zone... maybe something people on here could look into?


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## kuroshure (Dec 26, 2014)

If you don't go it will only get worse. You can't accomplish anything if you keep locking up yourself in your room. I was the same as you last year. I had managed to get into a great university but I couldn't take it so I dropped out. Do I regret it? No because I had solid reasons. Anyways, I took the university exams again this year and I will be starting university in september. I decided to stay in dorm. I want to change. I want to socialize. You too, don't give up okay :wink2:


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## Mattsy94 (Feb 11, 2013)

I feel the same. I have terrible social skills and thus cannot make friends easily. Going to college and seeing all those young people having a great time and knowing I'll never be a part of it sounds depressing as ****.


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## anthropy (Sep 5, 2014)

Whats the alternative? 
someone lay my life out for me please.
i didnt finish HS anyway so it would be hard to get into college.


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## nameless3903787489796 (Sep 6, 2013)

bump


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

i cant afford university so city college is my second choice for now until i can qualify for financial aid at university.


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