# I really am ugly



## Restless Mind (Jul 19, 2006)

I've always been concerned with my looks. The signs date back to my early teens when I'd constantly compare my clothes to my classmates. I remember one specific incident where a friend wore a pair of jeans to school that I thought looked really cool, so I bought myself a pair the very next day. In high school it was more of the same. But by then, I had developed an unsightly case of acne, and feelings of inferiority and embarassment soon took over. This would also mark the period in my life where social anxiety really surfaced.

So, let's fast forward to today. I wake up, take a shower, put on a nice outfit, and pose in front of the mirror to reassure that everything looks good and that I am a good-looking kid (like my parents say I am). I get to the mall and ask a lady at the service center where I'd find the Levi's section. She leads me to it, I peruse, make make selections, and head off to the fitting room.

There are three mirrors in the room; two of which are on a slant (for a better visual, here's an aerial view of the room: \ _ /, with the entrance at the top, and a mirror on each wall). Now, I'm deathly afraid of looking at myself up-close the the mirror under those terrible florescent lights, so I keep my distance and avoid any unecessary eye contact. I try each pair of pants on and keep my eyes focused on the pants, and only the pants. But as I leave, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Once that happens, I'm done; trapped, like I'm under some spell and can't look away. I _must_ see what I look like.

I begin to examine myself from every angle, and I hate everything I see: My slanted jaw, my bad skin, my oblong head, my thin eyebrows, my slits for eyes, my big pointy nose, my brace-ridden stained teeth - I hate it all. I end up leaving the mall empty handed, depressed, and with no self-confidence. To top it off, on my way out I see an attractive young couple locked at the hips - smiling, laughing, and having a great time.

All this time I thought I was this handsome kid, but what a reality check that was. I'm nothing put a poser; a wanna-be. You're probably thinking 'oh, he just has a disorted self-image.' Maybe I do: either I think I look better than I really am, or I think I look worse than I really am. I can't find middle ground. So, I'm f-cked.


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## emptybottle (Jan 3, 2005)

Fitting room mirrors and lighting are the worst. I find the 3-way mirrors totally unflattering. It has the same effect on me when I'm shopping, and I don't even have a huge problem with my looks when I look at the mirror at home.


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

I know the feeling.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

Join the club. I have a hard time even looking in mirrors anymore. Anytime i see a glimpse of myself it feels like I got punched in the gut.

The thing with me is that I don't think my facial structure is that bad (though certainly not model-esque), but it's my skin quality that really takes me down many notches. I went through several years of fairly bad acne until that was basically cured by a course of Accutane, but scars and red blotches remain. The biggest problem I have, which I must've mentioned like a hundred times by now, is the purple puffy circles under my eyes. Today I was walking around my old campus and was looking at all the people I passed...it seemed like *everyone* had nice, tight, clear skin under their eyes. It's almost a miracle to me: the skin under their eyes looked like the skin on the rest of their face. Same thing when I browse the picture galleries here. How sweet that must be.


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

I can't look in mirrors even at home, either. 

Zephyr, 

My skin under my eyes is not all perfect. I have the lovely puffy eyed look, too. It's from allergies and I'm sure from years of stress of having SA and depression and from the stresses of not having a steady job. 

I would love to wear makeup but when I do, I just end up getting eczema breakouts so it's not worth it.


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## Derekgnr (Nov 9, 2003)

Well..I'm ugly. I have very bad skin..acne, acne scars. Bad teeth, receding hair, skinny. Stuff that makes you single for life.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Restless Mind - I have seen your picture. You are NOT ugly! Njodis and DerekGNR - Likewise for you. If you think your scars are bad, there might be ways to improve your skin. This may be something I would have to look into because I also have acne. I just use acne wash to keep it under control (even though I still have small breakouts). If I need to see a skin doctor, that's okay. I've got the receding hairline and, well, Paxil fat! . It won't make you single for life, per se'. That part is confidence and to accept yourself. There needs to be something that you know you like about yourself and build from it. This cannot be taken from somebody else - it comes from the inside. :yes
It can be 2007 thing.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

Yeah, I'm no Jennifer Connelly. I just choose not to look when I'm purchasing clothing. I've gotten worse looking over the years, too. I looked completely different, though still ugly, when I was 18. Somehow, my face has been horribly disfigured within a span of 3 years. I can't imagine what I'll look like when I'm 30.


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## left blank (Sep 15, 2006)

I've had a little kid run up to me once and yell in my face _YOU'RE UGLY!_. Fortunatly there weren't a lot of people standing around but the ones that were stopped to stare at me. It was embarrassing. That was when I was younger though I don't know how ugly I am now. I don't think about my appearance very much when i'm at home but when I go out and I see all these people sometimes I feel disgusting. I can accept the size and shape of my body, but I really wish I had nice skin. I still have acne problems and I have blotches of depigmented skin, I don't know if its vitiligo, i'm not sure if there's a difference but its along the base of my neck. I also have an embarrassing disorder that makes me feel like a freak.


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## GraceLikeRain (Nov 9, 2003)

No one is ugly. There are some people who spend a lot of money on hair products, clothing, makeup, shoes, etc to look better than others, but that does not make those of us who do not ugly.


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## Toonia (Jan 26, 2006)

*Re: re: I really am ugly*



emptybottle said:


> Fitting room mirrors and lighting are the worst. I find the 3-way mirrors totally unflattering. It has the same effect on me when I'm shopping, and I don't even have a huge problem with my looks when I look at the mirror at home.


That is very true. Also, not all mirrors are made well - some are monkeyish. It's really true.


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## lilly (Mar 22, 2006)

Fluorescent lighting is a real killer too - I definitely agree about that! It all ends up very confusing but they should do something about dressing-room lights & all that. If they wanted to sell more you'd think they'd fix it.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

*Re: re: I really am ugly*



Toonia said:


> emptybottle said:
> 
> 
> > Fitting room mirrors and lighting are the worst. I find the 3-way mirrors totally unflattering. It has the same effect on me when I'm shopping, and I don't even have a huge problem with my looks when I look at the mirror at home.
> ...


That's true. Mirrors are really hit and miss. Speaking of that, I once wrote a song called 'I Only Look Good In A Funhouse Mirror', but it turned out to have the same hook as at the end of Elvis' I Just Want To Be Your Teddy Bear. Doh.


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## Restless Mind (Jul 19, 2006)

The inventor(s) of fluorescent lighting should be shot. And so should the people responsible for putting them in malls. They're nothing but bad news.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

I hate tilted mirrors or cameras, they really make me look stupid.


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## Invisible13 (fake email) (Dec 28, 2006)

flourescents make my face the color of a bockwurst sausage.


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## beckjcream (Feb 20, 2005)

yes my skin looks absolutely terrible under certain lighting conditions. also whenever i pass by cute girls on campus or at a mall it seems like they go out of their way NOT to look at me. it leads to nothing but bitterness and depression.


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## Lostsoul (Nov 18, 2004)

First of you're not ugly, believe me very few things in this word are really UGLY.

Now this is ugly










and this










This above all



















Doesn't look too bad does he? Except this is Mr John Wayne Gacy, one of the worst serial killers ever.

Try to Look at things in the proper perspective...


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## RacerX (Jun 12, 2006)

I wouldn't get bent out of shape over flourescent lighting. Those things could even expose electrons. It's a trick to get you to run to the cosmetics department and buy skincare products.


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## sylwia (Dec 4, 2006)

GraceLikeRain said:


> No one is ugly. There are some people who spend a lot of money on hair products, clothing, makeup, shoes, etc to look better than others, but that does not make those of us who do not ugly.


You don't have to spend a lot of money on these things. That's why we have WalMart lol. Some people just refuse to take care of themselves. You see women walking around in baggy clothing, bushy eyebrows, no makeup and greasy, unstyled hair all the time. Why would anyone do that to themselves? :stu


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

...


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## alex989 (Nov 20, 2005)

I dont think I'm downright ugly, but I REALLY hate looking very young for my age...its pretty much the main reason why I have SA and very little self esteem.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

alex989 said:


> I dont think I'm downright ugly, but I REALLY hate looking very young for my age...its pretty much the main reason why I have SA and very little self esteem.


Oh yeah, that's another problem I have. I stopped aging about ten years ago.


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## Shauna (Jul 29, 2006)

No matter how put together i am, i always feel ugly. Its all that stuff from childood that messed me up for life. 

Looking in car rear view mirrors are the worst for me. I look horrible in them. Every mirror i look in, i look different. Its weird. When i feeling very ugly..i don't even wanna leave my room, let alone go outside somewhere. It has nothing to do with anxiety, just low self-esteem. 

I just brought me some Proactive to get my skin cleared up the way i want it, because i can't stand makeup. Another huge problem for me is my nose...gosh, its huge. I need a nose job bad!! Thanks for the nose Daddy!!!


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## emptybottle (Jan 3, 2005)

sylwia said:


> Some people just refuse to take care of themselves. You see women walking around in baggy clothing, bushy eyebrows, no makeup and greasy, unstyled hair all the time. Why would anyone do that to themselves? :stu


I don't think that it's on purpose most of the time when women don't try to make themselves attractive. They're usually just clueless about makeup, eyebrow grooming, hairstyles, fashion and all that stuff.

I know I'm more plain and frumpy than ugly. I'm slim and my skin doesn't break out anymore, and my face is like this blank canvas. I look a lot like the Before pictures on What Not To Wear. I totally see the potential to be (sort of) attractive if I wear nice clothes, get a nice haircut, wear makeup, use lots of skincare and styling product, etc. But I rarely leave the house, and I feel like no one will even notice if I pretty myself up. Plus, that stuff costs money, and I chose to put the little money I have into movies, music, books and other things that entertain me during all the time I spend completely alone.


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## RacerX (Jun 12, 2006)

I think i just have wierd eyebrows and eyes. If I wear sunglasses this phenomenon disappears completely, but when my eyebrows and eyes are exposed I think people chalk me up as a serial killer.


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

I'm just weird looking in general... :hide


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## Disintegrate (Jun 28, 2006)

*Re: re: I really am ugly*



leppardess said:


> I'm just weird looking in general... :hide


That's some bull **** right there.


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## sylwia (Dec 4, 2006)

emptybottle said:


> I don't think that it's on purpose most of the time when women don't try to make themselves attractive. They're usually just clueless about makeup, eyebrow grooming, hairstyles, fashion and all that stuff.
> 
> I know I'm more plain and frumpy than ugly. I'm slim and my skin doesn't break out anymore, and my face is like this blank canvas. I look a lot like the Before pictures on What Not To Wear. I totally see the potential to be (sort of) attractive if I wear nice clothes, get a nice haircut, wear makeup, use lots of skincare and styling product, etc. But I rarely leave the house, and I feel like no one will even notice if I pretty myself up. Plus, that stuff costs money, and I chose to put the little money I have into movies, music, books and other things that entertain me during all the time I spend completely alone.


Trust me, people do notice. I used to be like you and now I get looks even from guys that look like they stepped out of a cologne ad (still amazes me :con ). I don't really wear a lot of makeup, just mascara, eyeshadow, and lipgloss but it makes so much difference and it's not expensive at all.
I have a big nose yet no one seems to notice. There's no point in dwelling on the things you can't change. Change what you can and forget the rest!


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## mayblue (Oct 1, 2005)

sylwia said:


> GraceLikeRain said:
> 
> 
> > No one is ugly. There are some people who spend a lot of money on hair products, clothing, makeup, shoes, etc to look better than others, but that does not make those of us who do not ugly.
> ...


You're operating under the assumption that all this artifice we use to try to look good actually makes us attractive. It doesn't. It's things like good bone structure, a nice body shape, and healthy skin and hair that make us attractive, and you can't fake those things.


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## sylwia (Dec 4, 2006)

mayblue said:


> You're operating under the assumption that all this artifice we use to try to look good actually makes us attractive. It doesn't. It's things like good bone structure, a nice body shape, and healthy skin and hair that make us attractive, and you can't fake those things.


Geez, you guys are so negative! I won't be coming to this site anymore, it's too depressing. How are you guys planning to overcome you SA with this attitude?


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## kintrovert (Oct 28, 2005)

sylwia said:


> You don't have to spend a lot of money on these things. That's why we have WalMart lol. Some people just refuse to take care of themselves. You see women walking around in baggy clothing, bushy eyebrows, no makeup and greasy, unstyled hair all the time. Why would anyone do that to themselves? :stu


Maybe it's not so much that people "refuse" to take care of themselves - maybe they are suffering from depression. I know how it is to suffer from severe depression, and not have the energy/inclination to "fix up" and groom myself well. Before my "nervous breakdown", I was the type who "loved clothes" - and would dress quite fashionably and "trendy". I cared a lot more about how I looked back then, and it showed. My hair was pretty much always in a neat bob, etc. Well, when I had my nervous breakdown that resulted in an insidious, peculiar depression - my appearance went south in a hurry. I look like a completely different person (so I've been told - by my mom and a couple of others) - and it is not only because of my weight-gain. There have been countless times when I have probably been the woman you saw in the store - whom you looked at and wondered, "Why would she do that to herself? Doesn't she care?" My level-of-functioning has been such that it was somehow "overwhelming" to "fix up better"...and I just had a great level of apathy about my appearance. It is so unlike the person I had been up to the age of 23...so I consider it a symptom of my illness.

I'm still nowhere near where I was (or where I should be), but I am slightly better than I was a few years ago, I think. That might not be saying much - and you would probably still look at me on some days and turn up your nose.


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## emptybottle (Jan 3, 2005)

mayblue said:


> You're operating under the assumption that all this artifice we use to try to look good actually makes us attractive. It doesn't. It's things like good bone structure, a nice body shape, and healthy skin and hair that make us attractive, and you can't fake those things.


Bone structure may be beyond your control, but you can definitely change your body shape, skin, and hair. That's what diet, exercise, and beauty products do. It won't make you look perfect or "hot" necessarily, but it can boost your confidence and attractiveness to others



kintrovert said:


> Before my "nervous breakdown", I was the type who "loved clothes" - and would dress quite fashionably and "trendy". I cared a lot more about how I looked back then, and it showed. My hair was pretty much always in a neat bob, etc. Well, when I had my nervous breakdown that resulted in an insidious, peculiar depression - my appearance went south in a hurry. I look like a completely different person (so I've been told - by my mom and a couple of others) - and it is not only because of my weight-gain. There have been countless times when I have probably been the woman you saw in the store - whom you looked at and wondered, "Why would she do that to herself? Doesn't she care?" My level-of-functioning has been such that it was somehow "overwhelming" to "fix up better"...and I just had a great level of apathy about my appearance.


Wow, this is me exactly, too. My family and other people have asked me why I do this to my appearance when I'd go out with them looking like a bag lady.


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## shy_girl (Dec 12, 2006)

I used to be like that totally....I never used to look at myself in the mirror because I used to hate what I saw. 

But I now don't have that opinion, i'm quite happy with what I look like, whether its beauty or not I don't know, but what I do know is I can't spend my time getting down about what I look like, I mean is it really gonna matter in my death bed? We have all been given a certain look and we just have to accept it and make the most of it. Life is more important than worrying about what we look like. There are many superficial people out there who think its the only thing that matters, but there are also some really nice people who see who you are as a person, and these are the people who i am interested in.


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## kintrovert (Oct 28, 2005)

I can relate. I was just looking at myself on a surveillance monitor as I was walking into Publix last night, and boy did I look ugly! I'm fat, my fat-distribution makes me look bad in my clothes, and the way my face looks from the side is hideous! I'm not a beauty even when I am facing a mirror head-on, but it gets worse when I turn to the side and look at myself in profile. Ugh. My skin problems are all the more apparent in profile, and I have an ugly "double chin". My eyes look strange and a little "Garfieldish" from the side - my side view is just horrific!



emptybottle said:


> I look a lot like the Before pictures on What Not To Wear.


So do I. I am frump city on most days. (besides my depression, my "lifestyle" doesn't "encourage" looking better. I'm jobless, friendless, and living at home.) And I have also been mistaken for being much older than I am (I just mentioned this in another post) - part of it is my frumpiness, I guess - and it also has to do with my weight-gain, and just plain-old "accelerated aging" due to a combination of things.


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## mayblue (Oct 1, 2005)

sylwia said:


> mayblue said:
> 
> 
> > You're operating under the assumption that all this artifice we use to try to look good actually makes us attractive. It doesn't. It's things like good bone structure, a nice body shape, and healthy skin and hair that make us attractive, and you can't fake those things.
> ...


No, don't do that! I just like to be realistic. Anyway, I'm kind of a hippie and think people look better as their natural selves than all primped and styled. But if makeup and haircare make people feel better about themselves, then they should do it! It's just not my thing, personally.


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## gingin (Dec 5, 2006)

Never seen an 'after' picture of someone without makeup & they looked better in the 'before' picture with makeup. It just doesn't work like that. Don't even want my mortician to make me look better when I'm dead than alive. I know, you'll be dead, it won't matter anymore. It will to me. I never go outside without makeup & refuse to willingly look like **** if I can help it in any way. I have dark circles under my eyes too, quite a few females in my family do. A stick of concealer cover up is great for that & it takes me 2 seconds to fix verses walking around like I have 2 black eyes.


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## Meee (Oct 24, 2005)

I guess all we can do is make the best with what we've got, spend as much effort as we can to make ourselves look good, and then stop focusing on it and move on. If you've done all you can to improve your appearance then it would be a waste of time to worry about something you can't change. Even if we're ugly i don't think it has to guarantee a life of failure and misery.

It's not really a good idea to judge your appearance by fluorescent lighting, though. Does anyone look good under that stuff?



emptybottle said:


> sylwia said:
> 
> 
> > Some people just refuse to take care of themselves. You see women walking around in baggy clothing, bushy eyebrows, no makeup and greasy, unstyled hair all the time. Why would anyone do that to themselves? :stu
> ...


Yup. I'd say it goes for guys too. Ok so we don't have makeup and all that stuff to deal with, thank god, but there's still things like hairstyles, clothes, glasses, shoes etc to get right. I can handle clothes (after several years of spending ****loads of money to find out what i look ok in), but i'm completely clueless about hairstyles. I'd gladly spend ridiculous amounts of money if i could get my hair looking nice, but i've got no idea on that stuff.



mayblue said:


> You're operating under the assumption that all this artifice we use to try to look good actually makes us attractive. It doesn't. It's things like good bone structure, a nice body shape, and healthy skin and hair that make us attractive, and you can't fake those things.


Just out of curiosity, what is good bone structure? People say that a lot, and i've no idea what they mean, heh.

And how do you get healthy hair? I'm guessing just changing your diet, but what exactly in your diet contributes to decent skin and hair? Probably the wrong place to be asking this stuff.


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## Lostsoul (Nov 18, 2004)

Zephyr said:


> alex989 said:
> 
> 
> > I dont think I'm downright ugly, but I REALLY hate looking very young for my age...its pretty much the main reason why I have SA and very little self esteem.
> ...


I wish I had your problem!

Ok, if people here think they are so ugly post some pictures of yourselves then. I'll hand out 100 dollars in paypal if I think even one of you is ugly. Ugly is defined to me by action and not looks so I'll probably be keeping my money though. :lol

I'd be willing to post my picture and while I'm not pefect (my face and body certainly have plenty of flaws) that goes a long way from being ugly. Anyway flaws can be a beautiful thing, it's all perspective.

Since I know no one is going to actually post a picture of themselves here . Let see what some of you think is beautiful, a beautiful person that is. I'd be interested to see that.


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## mayblue (Oct 1, 2005)

Meee said:


> Just out of curiosity, what is good bone structure? People say that a lot, and i've no idea what they mean, heh.


I think it's like, the shape of your face, the underlying bones, whether your jaw is proportional to your forehead and is everything symmetrical and all that stuff that can't be changed by makeup or losing weight or whatever.



Meee said:


> And how do you get healthy hair? I'm guessing just changing your diet, but what exactly in your diet contributes to decent skin and hair? Probably the wrong place to be asking this stuff.


If anyone knew for sure, a lot more people would have good skin and hair. I think some people are just lucky.


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## Restless Mind (Jul 19, 2006)

Good bone structure:


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

sylwia said:


> Geez, you guys are so negative! I won't be coming to this site anymore, it's too depressing. How are you guys planning to overcome you SA with this attitude?


Hey, don't leave, Sylwia! I agree with the points you made.

I used to sport the frumpy plain look. I was ignorant about style, and didn't have friends or magazines to give me ideas. I began to put a little effort in my style, and it improved my looks big time. I still have much to learn, but the journey is fun as I keep improving my appearance.

No one should underestimate the positive effects of a fresh haircut and fitted clothes. You don't need perfect bone structure to look awesome. Ironed clothing, hair styles, acne treatments, accessories, and other things can make a mediocre person stand out and look 100% better.

It's for guys too. Some guys have great faces, but they dress in wrinkled tees and frumpy hoodies. They claim they're ugly, but I say to them, there's nothing wrong with you at all. Just put on a decent shirt and pants, and you'll go from blah to wow.


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## Jimiam (Jan 8, 2007)

Yes, YOu definiitley need to try to divert your focus from your looks to more important things. Looks are definitely NOT everything. When you catch yourself thinking bad of yourself or you feel people are judging you; just try to visually wipe that thought away and focus on the task of that day.Hope, that helps. I have been thru alot of the problems I have seen mentioned on this forum, so I can sympathize with alot of these issues. Look your best but don't go overboard or paranoid with it.

Jimiam


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## 302 (Oct 20, 2006)

I can't even go to the clothing store to get new clothes. I still wear the same clothes 5 yrs ago. It's sad but it's true. I wish I had the confidence and not think of this 'ugliness' in my head every time I go out in public and feel shame.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

A lot of my problem is also that I dress oddly. I hate hearing people say "dress nicely," because I think that I do dress nicely. Judging by all the staring people do and the things that they say about me (none of which is imagined, by the way), I must have a horrible fashion sense, though.


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## joe81 (Dec 16, 2006)

honestly, its this media that makes people feel that there not good people by the fact that they don't fit into the mold of models, styles, and don't do all the activities that all the "in" people do....its been so far driven into our heads that independence from that isn't accepted by the masses...people are sheep.....seriously.. I learned this before i was ruined by SA.....its all about attitude...no matter how you look...


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## geeky (Jan 12, 2007)

Gained so much weight during medication (Zyprexa) and now avoiding mirrors. No self- esteem about that. I always think noone would find me good looking. Need to overcome my lazyness and start to do something with it. I always postpone it though.


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

I agree on many things people have written here..
Sometimes when I am shopping and even though I felt that I look alright when I left the house,but when I try on clothes and look myself in the mirror I look like ****..I avoid mirrors,or if I am at home its ok..
Maybe my self esteem is low,but I don't like the way I look either..Ok,my body is ok,but my face is the problem..I also have really bad skin and acne scars so that doesn't make it any better..
And beauty is so important..Beautiful people are everywhere and media has that power that they can tell us whats normal and whats not..

When it comes to clothes I dress in what I like and there will always be people who don't like the way you dress..I think people who follow every thing that is fashion without any critisism are idiots..
Just because everyone else does something,it doesn't mean its the best thing to do..But like someone else said here, humans are sheep..


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## Message (Sep 20, 2006)

I have this problem with my body more than my face. I am in absolute disgust with my body, mostly my legs. Trying on pants is a nightmare.. I usually end up crying when I go home because I don't look like anyone else when I see myself in the mirror. Everyone has long, lean legs. I don't. I'm short, my legs are not thin. I'm disgusting. End of story.

Those three-way mirrors just restore my self-loathing. And it always reminds me that my face isn't symmetrical. One side is thinner than the other. One could never know until you see me from both angles at the same time in those 3-mirror things. It's subtle, but it bothers the hell out of me.

Another thing bad about the lights is that my acne is really easy to see. Here goes: I have bacne... and it's the worst blow to your self-esteem. Especially when you see it in that horrible lighting. 

You could say I'm definitely in the mind-set that if I'm not perfectly thin and proportionate than I'm not worth anyone's time. If I didn't know better I would have an eating disorder. Instead, I don't do anything but long to be thinner. I don't eat right or exercise... probably because I'm depressed and unmotivated. I really should get on the treadmill tonight. I say that every night though....

I need a life makeover. lol


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## Restless Mind (Jul 19, 2006)

I just really want a nose job and a TCA/series of Glycolic Acid peels to smoothen out my scarring caused by acne. Then maybe I'd be able to look in the mirror with confidence and not disappointment.


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## Restless Mind (Jul 19, 2006)

Oh yeah I forgot to ask...Kelly, will you marry me?


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## shy_girl (Dec 12, 2006)

*Re: re: I really am ugly*



Invisible_girl said:


> I agree on many things people have written here..
> Sometimes when I am shopping and even though I felt that I look alright when I left the house,but when I try on clothes and look myself in the mirror I look like @#%$..I avoid mirrors,or if I am at home its ok..
> Maybe my self esteem is low,but I don't like the way I look either..Ok,my body is ok,but my face is the problem..I also have really bad skin and acne scars so that doesn't make it any better..
> And beauty is so important..Beautiful people are everywhere and media has that power that they can tell us whats normal and whats not..


Yeh I agree with you. Its amazing how different I look at home compared to in the mirror at shops etc. I hate looking at myself in shops, I just avoid it so I don't get myself down.


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## Message (Sep 20, 2006)

Restless Mind said:


> Oh yeah I forgot to ask...Kelly, will you marry me?


You flatter me. It really is something else when this is the reaction to the most unflattering post about myself.


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## meatwad (Jul 13, 2006)

Mirrors used to bother me a lot, but about 4 weeks ago I rationalized it.

No picture of you shows your true self. An accurate picture would have 1000s of little holes, cracks in the skin, wrinkles, small hairs, etc. 

So what you should give the most credence to is the "middle of the road" visualization of yourself. Relatively evenly dispersed light, not too bright and not too dark... an angle which pretty well represents reality.

You look bad when their is bad lighting or a quirky mirror, but that is not close to you. You look good in low-light or from some myspacish angle, but that is not you either. 

Keep your focus on the in between and know that is the closest to you in everyday situations, and don't make it worse for yourself by concentrating on the bad, or remembering the unnaturally good and being bitter about it later.


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## stephanie-s (Jan 16, 2007)

Message said:


> Restless Mind said:
> 
> 
> > Oh yeah I forgot to ask...Kelly, will you marry me?
> ...


Is it you on your avatar, Kelly? You look great IMO.


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## TheContrary (May 2, 2006)

.


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## bellekelly (Jan 16, 2007)

I know exactly how you feel. :sigh


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## sas314 (Jan 20, 2007)

mayblue said:


> sylwia said:
> 
> 
> > GraceLikeRain said:
> ...


If you think good bone structure is what makes people attractive, check out this link of movie stars both with and without makeup...

http://seehere.blogspot.com/2006/08/celebrities-without-makeup.html


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## Rygon (Jan 16, 2007)

sas314 said:


> mayblue said:
> 
> 
> > sylwia said:
> ...


OMG is that for reall? i mean i knew make up can make a difference... but jeesh...


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

I think there are few people who really are beautiful natural..I guess that everyone could look fantastic when they have stylists,make-up artists and all that working on them all day long... :roll


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

I'm really ugly. Look at my avatar...i have to manipulate the colors and make it darker so i don't repulse anyone and make them vomit on the keyboard.


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## shy_girl (Dec 12, 2006)

Triste Golem said:


> I'm really ugly. Look at my avatar...i have to manipulate the colors and make it darker so i don't repulse anyone and make them vomit on the keyboard.


You're not nearly as ugly as you think you are I'm sure of it. I don't see anything wrong with your avatar....seems pretty normal to me.

I think alot of ppl have a misconception that u have to look stunning like ppl on tv, well thats not reality. You just look like a normal guy dude.


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## Jamie is friendless (Jan 22, 2007)

I've had people say, mostly my family, that I'm handsome, but that is bull! I'm so hideous looking I should wear a bag over my oversized head! I have a big nose and my ears stick out like Dumbo. That is the reason why I have never been on a date in my life, why I have been rejected every single time, why women are offended whenever I show interest in them and why women never flirt with me. Why would a woman want to date a neanderthal looking beast like me? If I uploaded a photo of myself on this site, everyone here would abandon this site permanently and the site would shut down. My prospects would improve if I wore a bag over my head! :roll


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

My niece asked me "Are you pretty" recently and all I could say was I don't know. I know that's not the best response to give to a five year old. But they always say how my sister is so pretty. Trust me, she is. Everyone thinks that she's beautiful, but my first ex said that she had a terrible attitude. Then there's me with the not so beautiful looks who is very kind and caring. Too bad that looks seem to win over personality in this world.


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## Redox (Jan 20, 2006)

Most days, I couldn't care less about my appearance. I'd go to the grocery store in sweats, with no make up on or a pretty little hairdo. Yeah, this is probably why I'll stay single for the rest of my life. I'm willing to accept that, I got other things in life to accomplish. Anyway, the only time I wear make up is if I'm going to a banquet or performing (which is an requirement). And I'd do flourescent lights anyday than having to deal with low lights in dressing rooms. Honestly, Hollister, for example, is just not very good lighting for really dark skinned people. I go in there to try their clothing, and I can hardly see myself in the mirror. Hollister looks like the dark abyss came to the surface, anyway. :lol


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## Hushed*Girl (Dec 29, 2006)

In a way, I'm calm with the fact that I'm ugly. Like, I won't get really sad over my looks because I've sort of accepted the fact that I'm very ugly and will never look good enough. But, I still I wish I looked beautiful.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

You're only 15, you have potential. Looks aren't everything anyway and that's the truth. I'd rather have someone with great personality than great looks any day. It's also true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder...as much of a cliche that is.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Shauna said:


> I just brought me some Proactive to get my skin cleared up the way i want it, because i can't stand makeup. Another huge problem for me is my nose...gosh, its huge. I need a nose job bad!! Thanks for the nose Daddy!!!


At one point I was really insecure about my features, my nose and full lips...mainly my lips. I've come to accept it over the years. There are people who are pumping their lips full of collagen and I definitely don't have to worry about that. lol

It's also the media that makes you think smaller features are more attractive, but **** that.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

Hmm I wish I could see a picture of you.


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## Jimiam (Jan 8, 2007)

Yeah, I would love to see a picture too, but I'm sure your not as unattractive as you think you are. I consider myself nice looking but I would rather have an unattractive, good-hearted, sweet girl than a good looking gal who is a witch.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

I'm just going to say this right now that guys with thin eyebrows naturally look better than guys who have thick eyebrows. Thick eyebrows is a no-no haha.


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## Jimiam (Jan 8, 2007)

Well, I think Britney Spears still looks hot with a bald head?


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## omg1 (Dec 10, 2012)

I TOTALLY TOTALLY know what you passed through. just know that youre not the only one really even though sometimes it just feels like theres no one that passes thru what u pass thru but GIRL BELIEVE ME its not true. i hate mirros i hate lighting and mostly mostly i hate white light i swear its the worst.

i have a bad skin too and a history of chronic constant allergies internally and externally. add to that the acne that seems to love me for years and years and they dont wanna go away no matter how many creams and doctors and therapies. oh add to it my HUGE NOSE i inherited it from my father and we are 5 kids. i am the ONLY one who inherited it and the rest of my family have small cute noses except for me its like really big pointy AND CURVED like a witch. 

if you feel like talking more let me know im a good listener and i know what uve passed thru so it wont be embarrassing at all


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## Noll (Mar 29, 2011)

I know exactly what it's like. Quite sad actually.


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## unconfident1234 (Jul 18, 2013)

*I know how you feel...*

When I was younger, I looked in the mirror and complained _I have bags under my eyes, I am getting bumps on my face!! I'm so fat!:afr_
I was a *very *unconfident child. I used to try to go out of my way to look good. My parents would say i was beautiful but i didn't believe them. My Dad would always tell 
me:_"Beautiful people are so vain, and they only care about how they look. You might not be beautiful on the outside, but you are gorgeous on the inside," _
It only matters what's on the inside, not the outside! :yes:yes:yes 
I know sometimes you might think badly about yourself but don't let that ruin your day, be strong and confident, and the world around you will judge you differently.


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## JoeyG (Jul 17, 2013)

I'm sure you don't look too bad. Also, some physical features can be fixed.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Second bump for totally random 6-year-old thread. Good job SAS.

OP's last post: July 31, 2008


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