# Are You Scared of Being Alone



## eclips255 (Aug 8, 2010)

I am so scared of being alone. I think about it everyday. The only people in my life right now are my parents and older sister. She recently got divorced and has no children, so it is just my parents, her, and I. I have always been scared of my parents and sister dying, and often wish that I would die before them. Now, that my parents are getting older, my fear has intensified. My father had heart surgery yesterday. I was so afraid that he would not survive the surgery. When I went to visit him in the hospital today. I thought to myself. What if this was me when I am older? Who would go visit me to the hospital? Who would be there? My parents have my sister and I, but I do not have any children that could help take care of me and be there when I am older. I am so scared of being alone, that I am severely depressed and can hardly eat or sleep.


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## Quietgirl3 (Aug 8, 2014)

Yes I worry about if I have an accident who will I call or if I am in the Hospital or am sick who will help me. I have my parents but they are in a different State and don't travel.


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## DarrellLicht (Mar 9, 2013)

If there should be a increase in vulnerability and bombardment, and not having any aid/relief to speak of. That would probably be the scariest part about being alone.


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## Atila Irmes (Apr 16, 2015)

Hay,you are young and still have plenty of time to find boyfriend and create a family! Someone will always be there for you. Imagine some of your friends in trouble. You would help them,wouldn't you?


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## GloomyTracy (Jan 17, 2015)

I share the same concerns as you, my parents make up the overwhelming majority of my social circle. I do not seem to know people in the neighborhood, even though I have lived in this house my entire life, my coworkers only speak to me about work-related issues, so when I come home from work everyday - that is when I socialize with my parents and they tell me what is going on in the community and the world. My parents are well aware of the issues I may face after they pass on, that I will be alone and will have nobody to come to my aid if I encounter a period of hardship such as a health emergency in life. My parents have taken measures to try and cushion my life after they pass on, by taking out investments that will be payable to me at some point and by trying to keep the house in good shape, so it won't need any repairs for quite some time, since they know I will have to live here probably until I die 50 or so years from now. They have even gone to the trouble of going into the basement and placing labels on water pipes and the furnace and taping a phone number for the garage door repairman to the garage door, all in an attempt to make it easy for me to seek repairs to the home in case they suddenly pass on. I am desperately trying to work up the courage to join a social anxiety therapy group in the Boston area to see if I can decrease my anxiety levels, all in an attempt to prevent currently loneliness from becoming permanent.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Honestly no. I don't really care anymore.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

I don't think I fear it anymore as I reckon I've been about as low as I could go already. Plus I'm very lucky in that I have a family.


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## LoveMissesG (Dec 21, 2011)

I'm terrified. My parents are up in age & I'm an only child. That's why I want so bad to get married & have a family of my own.

The loneliness kills me.


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## eclips255 (Aug 8, 2010)

Atila Irmes said:


> Hay,you are young and still have plenty of time to find boyfriend and create a family! Someone will always be there for you. Imagine some of your friends in trouble. You would help them,wouldn't
> 
> I won't even say my age. Let's say I am not young. I look a lot younger than I am. Besides, it is very difficult to meet someone when you hardly leave the house. I also believe that a man would not understand my disorder, and would not want to be with someone with this disorder. What man would want to be with a woman who cannot interact socially.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

eclips255 said:


> I won't even say my age. Let's say I am not young. I look a lot younger than I am. Besides, it is very difficult to meet someone when you hardly leave the house. I also believe that a man would not understand my disorder, and would not want to be with someone with this disorder. *What man would want to be with a woman who cannot interact socially.*


You'd probably be surprised. There are a lot of single men and women on this site in a similar situation to yourself, and would give the world to be with someone that understands what it's like to live with this disorder.

Also, you mention you have a sister? You can keep each company to some extent as you get older. It's unlikely that you'll be completely alone for a very long time, and by then you might not find it so scary.


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## fonz (Oct 15, 2008)

I don't know,because I've never been alone enough. I live with my parents,but never really get lonely when they're away. I have a brother and sister-in-law but they live in another country. I hope they move back here eventually...


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

It sucks you're feeling this way. You're not close with your relatives?


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## chompers (Feb 3, 2015)

Yep, this sucks. If you don't want to be alone in x number of years when your parents are gone, you are going to have to form relationships with other people. It's nice that you have a sister, but she will probably want to do her own thing at some point. This is probably going to be a long and hard process, so you should get started as soon as possible. It will probably be a lot easier to make big changes in your habitats, thought patterns, life etc while you still have your family around for love and support. Good luck!


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## wrongnumber (May 24, 2009)

Yeah I think about this a lot and have for many years. I have very few sources of support and I know it won't change. I've also had plenty of experiences where my sources of support vanished. So I've always gone through life feeling like I can never truly emotionally depend on anyone.


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## jim_morrison (Aug 17, 2008)

I'm an only child and I lost my father suddenly just over a year ago. I lived with him and he was my main source of social support at the time so I get where you're coming from.


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## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

I can always collect dogs.


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## flarf (May 13, 2010)

i am definitely scared of being alone... i'm alone right now actually and its hella spooky


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## slowlyimproving (Jan 2, 2014)

I'm more scared of not really "living".


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

*Obligations?*

Not terrified at all. I can take care of myself perfectly. I do not need help. I never did and never will. I am an expert at helping stupid people which I have done in my career by doing & understanding & learning things the boss can't

Repeated phrase "do you live alone?" always mentioned when discharged from hospital, and again criticised as a social state of failure. No reliance on anyone, except needing a valid employer. Nobody relies on me, but they can if they want.

Time to admit: I get money for food. I did pay loads of tax by working so I deserve enough to live on, handling such a low budget.

Only thing missing: someone should use me for a lot of things I can provide

I just rarely suffer from occasional bewilderment why I get overlooked and ignored; unjustly judged as anyone not employed. Never my fault. Stupid airhead employers away with fairies


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

reaffected said:


> I can always collect dogs.


dogs are OK - wooof


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

For me, I don't think the concern about being totally alone with no one to turn to, is a fear at the moment, it's more of not wanting to accept the fact that it might happen. I may complain to myself that I am alone and it sucks, but it is up to me to try to build those bonds.


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## eclips255 (Aug 8, 2010)

jim_morrison said:


> I'm an only child and I lost my father suddenly just over a year ago. I lived with him and he was my main source of social support at the time so I get where you're coming from.


I am so sorry for your loss.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

I've been alone most of my life. I'm used to it.

I have my sister and my nieces that i visit once in a while but beside them i'm alone all the time. Life goes on.


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## Quatermass (Oct 6, 2013)

I've lived alone for many years. I can't say it's bothers me that much. I mean, I wouldn't mind living with someone else, but I'm ok as I am. But yeah, if something happened to me, I wouldn't be found for weeks or maybe even months. My parents are old and live in a care home, my sister has her own family and we rarely talk. Nobody has visited me in about a decade. It's a bit scary when I think about it, but I really don't have room for one more thing to be anxious about , so I just put it out of my mind.


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## hickool (Jun 19, 2009)

Yes quite scared. Dating is strange to me and talking to new people is hard so the chances of finding someone is low. After all women don't usually approach men. Besides in my personal opinion London isn't the friendliest place in the world. So the possibility of ending up alone does exist. Hard to change I guess.


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## Daniel Gray (Apr 16, 2015)

Loneliness is not cured by contact with humans, loneliness is cured by contact with reality.

The reality is, loneliness is a man made concept/construct used to keep the masses under control and living in fear.

Loneliness is not real.


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## sharon01 (Mar 17, 2015)

I know how you feel! I have my family now but I worry what will happen when they are gone. As I am getting older, my anxiety is getting worse and my social circle is becoming less small. I want to meet a guy, get married and have kids. I absolutely adore children. Who will marry me if they find out about my illness and how weird I am around people....


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## kthrowaway (Feb 9, 2015)

I'm worried my siblings secretly can't stand me and won't want to be around me when our parents are gone.

At this point, the main reason I want to be in a relationship is more societal pressure than loneliness. loneliness used to be the main reason I was depressed, but over the years I've learned to find enjoyment from being alone. Pets and solitary hobbies are an acceptable enough substitute for a decent social life at this point in my life. I'm sure 5 years from now I'll feel very differently and kick myself hard for not pursuing relationships when I could still approximate looking youthful and not unattractive.


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## Fangirl96 (Apr 13, 2015)

LoveMissesG said:


> I'm terrified. My parents are up in age & I'm an only child. That's why I want so bad to get married & have a family of my own.
> 
> The loneliness kills me.


Same here, i'm an only child and my parents are/were older parents. My dad died a few years ago when he was almost 70. My mum will be 60 in only a few years. I have one friend, that's it. My mum is pretty much my everything and she's not the healthiest person. The thought of losing her worries me every day and it makes me feel a bit desperate to create a family of my own. I feel stressed to do it asap, and that's not how it should be. It's horrible.


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## jaimster (Aug 20, 2010)

sometimes I wish I was alone not married , been married with a girl 16 years younger no kids , not happy most of the time , I m truly asking my self was it worth it . m 51 pretty good shape been working out 4 times a week for last 10 years , with a very good sexual desire she is not . 
I m a free thinker , progressive living in a red state . working with a bunch of red necks, backward thinking thinking people , which is probably in 10 years here haven't really made any true friends not to mention cut ties with religious lunatics brother and sister. only family contact my mom and my sons .. people I truly love . SO NO don't be afraid of being alone , I have learned to like my self , find the very good qualities about your selves and hold on to those ....most people are so full of bull.. anyways just watch the people running for presidential candidates ..


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## eclips255 (Aug 8, 2010)

Thank you everyone for replying to my post. I appreciate it. Your posts were very helpful


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## Agricola (Feb 20, 2015)

I am very frightened of being alone and my worries are getting worse as I get older and a life alone becomes more and more likely. I am an only child, and my mother is dead, so it is just my father and I. We live together because we are all we have. I expect that when my father dies that will be it for me, because I can't see myself ever getting married much less having a girlfriend.


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## LoveMissesG (Dec 21, 2011)

I hope we all find someone to love us. We don't deserve to be alone.


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## anomnomnom (May 28, 2013)

Well I'm an only child with barely any friends and parents who are in their 60's

The last couple of years it's getting..more of a concern as I know damn well I'll be single for the foreseeable too. 

..Hm :blank


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## Daniel Gray (Apr 16, 2015)

LoveMissesG said:


> I hope we all find someone to love us. We don't deserve to be alone.


Stop trying to find someone to love you. This is the problem in this world.

Start loving someone, just to love someone without wanting anything in return. That is part of the solution in this world.


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## LoveMissesG (Dec 21, 2011)

Daniel Gray said:


> Stop trying to find someone to love you. This is the problem in this world.
> 
> Start loving someone, just to love someone without wanting anything in return. That is part of the solution in this world.


Sorry, but I disagree. Creating our own families so that we will have a legacy/support system when our parents pass is important for many of us. You don't speak for me or anyone else on here. Sorry if I come off harsh but that's MY TRUTH.


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## vsaxena (Apr 17, 2015)

I already feel alone. I mean the only people I stay in touch with are my mom and dad, and they live several states away. That's it. I mean I got "acquaintances" on FB, but it is obvious I mean nothing to them. I just want to find a partner, get married and she and I be like Bonnie and Clyde -- a tag team that forges ahead in life together. But that's really, really, really hard to find when you are severely socially anxious. *shrugs*


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## vsaxena (Apr 17, 2015)

LoveMissesG said:


> Sorry, but I disagree. Creating our own families so that we will have a legacy/support system when our parents pass is important for many of us. You don't speak for me or anyone else on here. Sorry if I come off harsh but that's MY TRUTH.


I agree. Selflessness is nice in theory, but shoot, let's be real. We all want a partner -- someone to love. Nothing wrong with that. And the fact is that loving with no expectations is an easy way to get used and abused. Trust me. I know, :-/.


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## LoveMissesG (Dec 21, 2011)

vsaxena said:


> I already feel alone. I mean the only people I stay in touch with are my mom and dad, and they live several states away. That's it. I mean I got "acquaintances" on FB, but it is obvious I mean nothing to them. I just want to find a partner, get married and she and I be like Bonnie and Clyde -- a tag team that forges ahead in life together. But that's really, really, really hard to find when you are severely socially anxious. *shrugs*


Well if that's you in your profile pic you shouldn't have a hard time finding a woman Lol &#128539;


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## Daniel Gray (Apr 16, 2015)

LoveMissesG said:


> Sorry, but I disagree. Creating our own families so that we will have a legacy/support system when our parents pass is important for many of us. You don't speak for me or anyone else on here. Sorry if I come off harsh but that's MY TRUTH.


The vast majority of family units are dysfunctional and this is one of the biggest reasons why. You are setting yourself up for failure.

Keep reading what I just wrote above over and over again because its the truth. However the below is the solution:

If you believe you were whole and complete right now and then from there decided to go into a relationship with someone else who was also already whole and complete before they met you, you have a chance at a really wonderful relationship.

From there you could also have children with this person and your purpose is to give as much love to your spouse and kids as possible. You're not there to EXTRACT love from them. That will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever work, because its not about them, its about you and how you feel about yourself.

That is the only path to success. Believe it now or find out the hard way later in life.


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## Daniel Gray (Apr 16, 2015)

vsaxena said:


> I agree. Selflessness is nice in theory, but shoot, let's be real. We all want a partner -- someone to love. Nothing wrong with that. And the fact is that loving with no expectations is an easy way to get used and abused. Trust me. I know, :-/.


You can only be abused if you wanted something in the first place.

If you don't require love and just gave love how could they abuse you? These people were abusing you because you were giving love out in order to receive it in return. You were giving to get, not giving to give. Which comes back to why 99.9% of relationships end in failure of some kind.


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## RiversEdge (Aug 21, 2011)

Daniel Gray said:


> You can only be abused if you wanted something in the first place.
> 
> If you don't require love and just gave love how could they abuse you? These people were abusing you because you were giving love out in order to receive it in return. You were giving to get, not giving to give. Which comes back to why 99.9% of relationships end in failure of some kind.


Abuse comes from the abuser. That is who is at fault in any abusive relationship, not the victim and especially not for someone who wants love in return.
In a loving relationship it is healthy and normal to want love in return and that is what's right. It's a good thing to want to be loved in return (to give and get) when it's mutual. It's what makes a relationship thrive and grow.


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## LoveMissesG (Dec 21, 2011)

Daniel Gray said:


> The vast majority of family units are dysfunctional and this is one of the biggest reasons why. You are setting yourself up for failure.
> 
> Keep reading what I just wrote above over and over again because its the truth. However the below is the solution:
> 
> ...


Oh please. You don't have the answers, nor do you know the way to what you perceive as success. If you were succeeding you wouldn't be logging onto this site at damn near 12 midnight.

I appreciate your advice, but it surely isn't MY TRUTH. I've been single for two years now by choice, so I obviously don't get with ppl due to loneliness. Take care.


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## Gamer85 (Sep 13, 2009)

*I am afraid*



Daniel Gray said:


> You can only be abused if you wanted something in the first place.
> 
> If you don't require love and just gave love how could they abuse you? These people were abusing you because you were giving love out in order to receive it in return. You were giving to get, not giving to give. Which comes back to why 99.9% of relationships end in failure of some kind.


Daniel, it sounds as if you have found the most perfect definition of what the "perfect life" and "perfect relationship" is. I wonder do you truly have these? Or are you spouting regurgitated nonsense from that Brett guy?

Seriously man it seems like you don't have the slightest clue about what it's like to have social anxiety. I think that if you did; there would be no way you could possibly say the things you do.

I've come across this before and its what I call "good intention; wrong approach".

I too feel that there will be a time that there is no one left to take care of me and help me with a place to live and means to get by. I'm afraid of being homeless and dying out on the streets. I'm not afraid, but it sucks, that no one will care and no one will remember me and it wont matter to anyone after I die. To quote one of my favorite movies "memories lost in time, like tears lost in the rain". My existence will be forgotten and un-noticed and the rest of the world will go on.

I still believe that god has a purpose for me and that he made me this way for a reason. I've been single now for 4 years. For a while I didnt want a new girl. But now I wish I had the guts to even try.

Anyhow, I'm good and buzzed now and I'm tired of rambling,... I might leave this here for a while. Or I might feel weird about saying so many of my opinions and delete it. Lets see.

Oh yea and that thing about love and abuse? Being whole and complete? Dude, first define what you consider "whole and complete", without any fantastical crap like,... "oh just being a complete person",... or "feeling like you are completely happy"..... or "having everything in your life just perfect"..... just total vague and nonsensical bull****. Lets start with that. If you can give me the definition of what you consider "whole and complete" then I will waste my time tearing apart your nonsense. Lets have it.


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## vsaxena (Apr 17, 2015)

LoveMissesG said:


> Well if that's you in your profile pic you shouldn't have a hard time finding a woman Lol &#128539;


You'd be surprised. I've spent the majority of my life alone. I'm very socially anxious and awkward. I get zero replies on dating sites. And it's virtually impossible for me to approach a random woman in public. Though I did recently come up with the idea of making business cards that say "Hi! I think you're cute, but I'm too socially anxious to strike up a conversation with you. So I want to invite you to call me at ___ or email me at ___ if you'd maybe like to get to know me." I finally got the courage up to give it to a cute woman at Food Lion. No text, no email, :-/.


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## Daniel Gray (Apr 16, 2015)

Gamer85 said:


> Daniel, it sounds as if you have found the most perfect definition of what the "perfect life" and "perfect relationship" is. I wonder do you truly have these? Or are you spouting regurgitated nonsense from that Brett guy?
> 
> Seriously man it seems like you don't have the slightest clue about what it's like to have social anxiety. I think that if you did; there would be no way you could possibly say the things you do.
> 
> ...


This is a great cry for help within the Matrix.

A few years back I had social anxiety and was terrified of everything and everyone and now I host social events.


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## Daniel Gray (Apr 16, 2015)

RiversEdge said:


> Abuse comes from the abuser. That is who is at fault in any abusive relationship, not the victim and especially not for someone who wants love in return.
> In a loving relationship it is healthy and normal to want love in return and that is what's right. It's a good thing to want to be loved in return (to give and get) when it's mutual. It's what makes a relationship thrive and grow.


Traditional relationships in the matrix are not based on thriving and growing. They are based on fear, control and attachment.

Everyone here wants to be loved so badly and its going to end very badly for you if you hold on to this. Don't just believe me, look around you, how many people do you know that are wonderfully and blissfully in love? and if you do know someone they will probably not be denying the other to be free.

Half of marriage end in divorces and a significant majority of the successful ones are full of drama and work, because apparently marriage is "a lot of hard work". Its just more Matrix speak, from matrix people who have been sold a bill of goods that doesn't work.


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## Daniel Gray (Apr 16, 2015)

RiversEdge said:


> Abuse comes from the abuser. That is who is at fault in any abusive relationship, not the victim and especially not for someone who wants love in return.
> In a loving relationship it is healthy and normal to want love in return and that is what's right. It's a good thing to want to be loved in return (to give and get) when it's mutual. It's what makes a relationship thrive and grow.


The victim is not a whole and complete person and is someone who "wants to be loved".

If you were happy and fulfilled right now(its a choice) then you would instantly leave the situation and that person because you never required anything from them in the first place.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Kind of OT but my entire family was gone someplace a while back and I was in my room and everything was dead silent. I suddenly heard a clang like someone moved something from the general direction of the living room. It didn't sound like a normal kind of spontaneous noise like the building settling or something. It sounded like someone was in there and I knew they weren't coming back anytime soon.

So I got up and started looking around. It's one of the few times I can remember being actually scared of what was around the next corner. Turned out I guess it was a dish or something in the sink. I don't really know what it was but there was no one in there.


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## Cepp (Feb 8, 2010)

Yeah, I'm scared of being alone. I've experienced coming home from work with no one to talk to, spending every evening and weekend alone for several years. I felt trapped, hopeless and intensely lonely.


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## RiversEdge (Aug 21, 2011)

Daniel Gray said:


> The victim is not a whole and complete person and is someone who "wants to be loved".
> 
> If you were happy and fulfilled right now(its a choice) then you would instantly leave the situation and that person because you never required anything from them in the first place.


Book knowledge. Exhibit A


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## Hoyden (Aug 31, 2011)

I live alone, so that feeling is not odd or strange.

My social circle has dwindled to my parents and my brother's family. I feel a comfort knowing that they exist and we are there for each other, but I dread the thought that one day they won't be.

I know I'm going to die alone. At this age people have established their friendship and family groups and will change little. I doubt I will change and get out and meet someone, as much as I would love to have a family.

Not scary as such, just quite depressing.


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## Hoyden (Aug 31, 2011)

vsaxena said:


> Though I did recently come up with the idea of making business cards that say "Hi! I think you're cute, but I'm too socially anxious to strike up a conversation with you. So I want to invite you to call me at ___ or email me at ___ if you'd maybe like to get to know me." I finally got the courage up to give it to a cute woman at Food Lion. No text, no email, :-/.


Well done! You are giving it a go. Don't expect 100% or even 50% success, but chances are you might meet someone


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## WonderSotong (Oct 8, 2011)

Daniel Gray said:


> The victim is not a whole and complete person and is someone who "wants to be loved".
> 
> If you were happy and fulfilled right now(its a choice) then you would instantly leave the situation and that person because you never required anything from them in the first place.


I agree a lot with what Daniel is saying, although I gotta say self-love and being ok with being alone is such a difficult thing to achieve. I have almost no social life (although I am trying to get out more, further my education in few month's time etc.) and my weekends are incredibly restless and lonely when I have no plans.

I have been in two very terrible relationships for the past 8 years (one after the other) and now I have no one, so it is terribly lonely but I am better off without partners who can't give me what I deserve. I held on to such dysfunctional relationships for so long because I did not love myself enough to let go...and I ended up wasting so much of my time.

As Shakespeare once said, "Expectation is the root of all heartache."


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## Daniel Gray (Apr 16, 2015)

WonderSotong said:


> I agree a lot with what Daniel is saying, although I gotta say self-love and being ok with being alone is such a difficult thing to achieve. I have almost no social life (although I am trying to get out more, further my education in few month's time etc.) and my weekends are incredibly restless and lonely when I have no plans.
> 
> I have been in two very terrible relationships for the past 8 years (one after the other) and now I have no one, so it is terribly lonely but I am better off without partners who can't give me what I deserve. I held on to such dysfunctional relationships for so long because I did not love myself enough to let go...and I ended up wasting so much of my time.
> 
> As Shakespeare once said, "Expectation is the root of all heartache."


Its difficult to achieve because you are saying it is difficult to achieve. You become what you think, say and write down. Trying, becoming and wanting lead nowhere. Being, doing and having is all there is.

The ultimate level of life is when you stop needing relationships and sex forever. I know its probably something you cannot possibly imagine, but I can tell you right now, you're doing things for the wrong reasons and its just going to continue with more heartache and suffering if you persist.

As I have already said "Loneliness is not cured by contact with humans, loneliness is cured by contact with reality" and the reality is when you live outside the matrix, these things you care about right now that make you unhappy, you will no longer care about.

You are a validated individual RIGHT NOW and its only when you give all these things up can that really be your reality and true.

People like to talk the big talk with saying things like "I don't care what others think" but they really do because they're attached to everything. You have to be willing to go to that level of carefreeness. Unfortunately it can be seen as hard and tough because you're being given the opposite information to what I am saying throughout your day, by other people, films, tv shows, books, adverts, magazines etc.


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## Daniel Gray (Apr 16, 2015)

vsaxena said:


> You'd be surprised. I've spent the majority of my life alone. I'm very socially anxious and awkward. I get zero replies on dating sites. And it's virtually impossible for me to approach a random woman in public. Though I did recently come up with the idea of making business cards that say "Hi! I think you're cute, but I'm too socially anxious to strike up a conversation with you. So I want to invite you to call me at ___ or email me at ___ if you'd maybe like to get to know me." I finally got the courage up to give it to a cute woman at Food Lion. No text, no email, :-/.


Women are attracted to men who have it together. If off the bat you're giving off the energy and vibe that you're not a strong man, then its already game over and/or going to end badly at some point.

You're basically saying to this woman: "I am not the strongest male and you're better than me. Please love me"

That is just not going to roll.


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## Insignificant Other (Apr 1, 2015)

I am 50, and live in a country other than my native country. I know the language only imperfectly. I am close to no one. I am scared all the time.


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## DarrellLicht (Mar 9, 2013)

Daniel Gray said:


> The ultimate level of life is when you stop needing relationships and sex forever. I know its probably something you cannot possibly imagine, but I can tell you right now, you're doing things for the wrong reasons and its just going to continue with more heartache and suffering if you persist.


 All forms of life need nurturing. Because relationships and sex are exploited decadently in mainstream culture or 'the matrix' as you refer, does not mean you throw out the baby with the bathwater. and say things like "you need to learn not to require love"



> As I have already said "Loneliness is not cured by contact with humans, loneliness is cured by contact with reality" and the reality is when you live outside the matrix, these things you care about right now that make you unhappy, you will no longer care about.


 Precisely. But it isn't 'love' in itself that makes people unhappy.



> You are a validated individual RIGHT NOW and its only when you give all these things up can that really be your reality and true.


Give what up? All the things that shape your reality and validate you as a person requires effort. It sounds like you're implying to withdraw from everything.. That's what derelict bums do..



> People like to talk the big talk with saying things like "I don't care what others think" but they really do because they're attached to everything. You have to be willing to go to that level of carefulness.


 So when someone pesters me about something, and I take a stance against it 'i.e. I don't care what you think' etc., it's because I'm attached to their idea? or is it their attempt to attach their idea to me is the concern? It's nothing to be care-free about. Unless you're a ****ing turnip.



> Unfortunately it can be seen as hard and tough because you're being given the opposite information to what I am saying throughout your day, by other people, films, tv shows, books, adverts, magazines etc.


 You weren't really being specific or informative by lumping it all as 'the matrix'. Like the movie where the characters plug into one reality to an alternate reality.. We can't exactly do that.. yet.. 
But you if could just say society, media, religion etc. are making people very insular causing them to make wrong decisions in life, then it's a valid argument.


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## fight2finish (Feb 24, 2013)

Daniel Gray said:


> Loneliness is not cured by contact with humans, loneliness is cured by contact with reality.
> 
> The reality is, loneliness is a man made concept/construct used to keep the masses under control and living in fear.
> 
> Loneliness is not real.


I see where you're coming from and I partly agree. So you're saying that reality is to 'stop believing' the lie of loneliness that we've been sold?


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## Daniel Gray (Apr 16, 2015)

fight2finish said:


> I see where you're coming from and I partly agree. So you're saying that reality is to 'stop believing' the lie of loneliness that we've been sold?


Yes that's true as we don't need people at all in the way that we have been told that we need them and human company doesn't cure it anyway. Many people are in relationships but feel lonely.


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## vsaxena (Apr 17, 2015)

Daniel Gray said:


> Women are attracted to men who have it together. If off the bat you're giving off the energy and vibe that you're not a strong man, then its already game over and/or going to end badly at some point.
> 
> You're basically saying to this woman: "I am not the strongest male and you're better than me. Please love me"
> 
> That is just not going to roll.


Excuse me, but I do have it together. I have a great job, I own a condo, I abide by good values, I stay in shape and I eat healthy. If a woman is too short-sighted and small-minded to appreciate my alternate but still legitimate attempt to communicate with her -- if she automatically perceives it as a weakness that makes me unworthy of her -- then to hell with her. One thing I refuse to do to as an outspoken and principled man is bow down to the ignorance of others.

Strength? Strength, Mr. Gray? I got the strength to continually and daily slam what I feel is an expanding storm of moral decadence in this country. And I got thousands of people liking and sharing my work every single day. So to heck with this notion of me being weak. If a particular woman lacks the ability to discern real strength -- strong moral fiber, conviction, principle, etc. -- from faux strength, then so be it!

Excuse my anger, but that comment of yours really set me off.

Actually, about everything you say irritates me, Mr. Gray. But please take no offense, for I always appreciate someone who's capable of inspiring me to write .

With that said, I am definitely exiting this discussion, because I could go on forever and ever. I get paid to write commentary every single day, so seriously, I could go on and on and on and on, lol.

Good talking to you, though.


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## fight2finish (Feb 24, 2013)

Daniel Gray said:


> Yes that's true as we don't need people at all in the way that we have been told that we need them and human company doesn't cure it anyway. Many people are in relationships but feel lonely.


How do we as people need each other?

Very true, I would say the majority of people in marriages and relationships are lonely if they were honest because they might married for the wrong reasons or were trying to find fulfillment through their spouse and their marriage.


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## Daniel Gray (Apr 16, 2015)

fight2finish said:


> How do we as people need each other?


We don't at all. You can be with people when you're with them but that's it. You don't require anything.

Holding onto ideas about "the one" and "true love" is all just going to keep you in a small box of suffering. All of your behaviours are predictable and I can easily control you.

The only "the one" in this world is you. You are the one.


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## Daniel Gray (Apr 16, 2015)

vsaxena said:


> Excuse me, but I do have it together. I have a great job, I own a condo, I abide by good values, I stay in shape and I eat healthy. If a woman is too short-sighted and small-minded to appreciate my alternate but still legitimate attempt to communicate with her -- if she automatically perceives it as a weakness that makes me unworthy of her -- then to hell with her. One thing I refuse to do to as an outspoken and principled man is bow down to the ignorance of others.
> 
> Strength? Strength, Mr. Gray? I got the strength to continually and daily slam what I feel is an expanding storm of moral decadence in this country. And I got thousands of people liking and sharing my work every single day. So to heck with this notion of me being weak. If a particular woman lacks the ability to discern real strength -- strong moral fiber, conviction, principle, etc. -- from faux strength, then so be it!
> 
> ...


None of that matters when you are telling a girl on a piece of card "I am not one of the strongest males"


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## fight2finish (Feb 24, 2013)

> We don't at all. You can be with people when you're with them but that's it. You don't require anything.
> 
> Holding onto ideas about "the one" and "true love" is all just going to keep you in a small box of suffering. All of your behaviours are predictable and I can easily control you.
> 
> The only "the one" in this world is you. You are the one.


I believe we do need each other, and its human nature and normal to want each other.

But yeah, _trying to find fulfillment_ and saying 'this person completes me' I believe isn't true and will lead down a path of disappointment and unfulfillment.

I believe "the one" is God. In our Creator we find everything and then can give everything in our relationships.


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## peach123 (Dec 13, 2010)

Yes, I am afraid of being alone. It is no joke when you have a flat tire and need to be towed to the auto shop and there is no one to pick you up. It is no joke to cone home to an empty house and gave no one to talk yo. It is no joke to have no family or friends. It is no joke to be admitted to the hospital and there is no one to visit you or to bring you clothes or to take care of your business while you are in the hospital. It is no joke to be alone.


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## Gamer85 (Sep 13, 2009)

*thats all you got?*

That's like saying you wont know happiness until you look into yourself and you are happy with who you are.

Just completely freakin nonsense. It's what I call dazzling with bull****. I worked for this guy that would do it all the time. He was the most persuasive person that i have ever seen. and one of his best methods was to "dazzle with bull****".... how he does this is amazing.

I want to tell you that you will not be able to "dazzle me with Buillszhist" ok?

it's like saying,... the sky is blue and the clouds are white and fluffy,... so what i'm saying must be true,....because you can see for yourself....

It's all crap. you sound like the leader of a cult and looking for new members.

you obviously dont have social anxiety nor do you know what it's like to have it. why are you really here?


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## evrchngn (Aug 2, 2009)

peach123 said:


> Yes, I am afraid of being alone. It is no joke when you have a flat tire and need to be towed to the auto shop and there is no one to pick you up. It is no joke to cone home to an empty house and gave no one to talk yo. It is no joke to have no family or friends. It is no joke to be admitted to the hospital and there is no one to visit you or to bring you clothes or to take care of your business while you are in the hospital. It is no joke to be alone.


Yeah, this is why I fear loneliness. Especially aging alone. But I guess at this time in technology, it doesn't have to be as bad as it would've been. You can get OnStar for your car and have AAA or something. No visitors in the hospital? I'm fine with that. Again, software programs can take care of many of the bills you pay now. Still it would suck to have to pay someone to do every little thing for you simply because you have no friends.

It sucks for me right now as far as getting the grass cut. I had a dead tree poised to fall on my car that could easily be taken down by a man but I have no friends in town and a company wanted to charge $500 just to come look at it. A dead tree. Luckily, my mom had a connection. I have none. It's totally scary as hell from that perspective. Unless you are wealthy enough to cover all such expenses. Also, I live in a rural area. Once my mom is gone I'm moving to the city. At least I'll be near actual businesses and won't have to depend of reputation and friends like you have to in a small town.


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## ilsr (Aug 29, 2010)

I am terrified of being alone in the future. I have no idea how I'll cope.


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## Conquer Fear (Aug 11, 2013)

Being alone right now is not that big a deal. It is the prospect of looking at possibly years or decades alone, that can really do a number on a person's sanity, speaking from experience. 

On the other hand, if you just go about your day and try not to obsess that you are alone, you can at the very least get through the day easier. If you think "I am alone" nonstop, psychologically it will make things worse. 

Other than the normal things that you can't get help with, like, my apartment or house caved in, I fell and broke my face, the thing that bothers me the most is you have no one to b**** and moan about how horrible your day was or how this jerk cut you off, or how annoying this idiot was. 

So to me the worst thing is not having anyone to bounce things off


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## WonderSotong (Oct 8, 2011)

Daniel Gray said:


> Its difficult to achieve because you are saying it is difficult to achieve. You become what you think, say and write down. Trying, becoming and wanting lead nowhere. Being, doing and having is all there is.
> 
> The ultimate level of life is when you stop needing relationships and sex forever. I know its probably something you cannot possibly imagine, but I can tell you right now, you're doing things for the wrong reasons and its just going to continue with more heartache and suffering if you persist.
> 
> ...


Actually alot of what you are saying derives from Buddhism, i.e. the whole idea of letting go of all worldly possessions.


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## Conquer Fear (Aug 11, 2013)

I think that "I don't care what anyone thinks of me" is the biggest B.S. cliche or saying in the history of mankind. 

The other variation to this which is even more full of it is, "I used to care what people think, now I don't care what anyone thinks." Life is not so cut and dry, you can't completely cure yourself of things of that magnitude.

On this site you also have tons of posters or threads saying, "I cured myself of S.A." Please, I mean I don't really buy that for a minute. They try to rub in everyone's face, "I did a ton of work on myself and with CBT and support, I am now cured." Then you have responses like "Wow, how did you do it? I can't believe it!! I only wish one day I could cure myself but I guess you are one of the blessed now!" Maybe you can make progress or small steps, that I would actually believe

It is the same as someone terminating their therapist and saying, "Due to my life's real problems all having been solved, I no longer need your help"

IT IS ALL AN ONGOING PROCESS, same as learning, you can't just say, I learned everything there is to know, now I will sit and stare at the wall all day because I am all-knowing.


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## USAS (Apr 17, 2015)

I no longer fear being alone. Having felt alone most of my life I learned coping mechanisms. I take care of a cat and a dog. They are like children and give me a lot of love. It's really hard to ever feel alone when they are with me. 
I realize that many people who get married will be divorced and will end up alone just like me. Even children when they grow up may not come visit you. Your idea of how your children will turn out, having respect for you and care for you into old age may not be reality.

I cope also by staying busy with what interests me. Having goals like helping people with need, volunteering and experiencing the beautiful world around me. Meaning, living life in the moment. 

It's easier said than done but spend as much time with your loved ones as you can but you will be just fine if you end up alone in this world.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

I've gone through a phase recently where I have tried to give much less of a bother about things which aren't under my control. When you think about it, there are a smaller percentage of things that make up your life through direct choice, and a greater percentage of fortune outside your control. Things like physical health for example can be regarded as something that is outside your control if something unfortunate happens, and I sort of liken it to being unsure about whether or not I'll spend the rest of my life mostly in solitude. 

I suppose the main point is, worrying over things that are not directly as a result of a conscious choice is a waste of energy. We don't choose to be born, we don't choose who to if we are, we don't choose our fortune and how well our parents take care of us, and we certainly don't choose how/ when we will die (or those around us for that matter). In regards to growing old alone, you need to work with the element of influence and control as much as you can. If you have the power, and there is a choice, then make it.


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## Drunky (Feb 8, 2015)

Yes and no. I like being alone but there are times it would be nice to have someone to share things with.


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## Globe_Trekker (Jan 29, 2009)

Yes.


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## wrongguy (Jan 22, 2015)

I get scared of being alone cuz I go too deep into the negativity


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## gumballhead (Jun 8, 2011)

I would love to LIVE by myself, in my own house, at least for awhile. I hate living with my Mom, but I don't know what I'll do when my parents are gone, as there will be no one left for me to talk to except people at work, assuming I still have a job when that time comes. I'd eventually love to own my own home, meet a woman, and raise a family, and I guess there's still time. I know it's up to me to change, but a mouse would have an easier time rolling a 10 ton boulder up Mount Everest than I would overcoming a minor mental disorder.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I use the time to work on myself. It does bother me, but dwelling on it feeds negativity.
I have it together more than most, so I can't be that bad.


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## inane (Oct 21, 2013)

Between the two evils of being alone, and being with people I cannot stand, I think being alone has been preferable.


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## Mongoose (Oct 26, 2012)

I don't worry about my future because I already know I don't have one. No woman will ever think a virgin "loser" like me is good enough for her.


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## Cwalk (Oct 5, 2014)

Thank you for posting this. I am 37 and like you, the majority of my social life is with my parents. I work full time and hang out with my mom, dad, son and cat in the evenings and on weekends. My son is 13 and doesn't want to spend as much time with me lately. He is starting to get his own life. I think about my parents dying and how lonely I'll be a lot. I feel guilty because I know they worry about me and it would give them peace to see my life in order. I also feel guilt for my son who will have the burden of being the only one in my life. I have no friends and no other family. I also worry something will happen to me at work and they will have to call my emergency contact who is my mom. How embarrassing. I think we both need to sort this out while we still have support systems. Easier said than done though. It is nice to know there is someone else out there with the same worries. Thanks again for posting.


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## bbarn (Dec 22, 2007)

I am getting scared. Most of my family and friends have significant others. I don't want a significant other just to have one bc i have been dreaming all my life to be in a real loving relationship and that has alluded me thus far. One day everything can change!


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## whocares187 (May 23, 2015)

Nah I don't think about it family-wise. During the day I try to avoid as much human contact as possible. This way in time I'm prepared for when I'll finally be on my own.


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## MetalheadFurry (May 21, 2015)

Sometimes I am scared, others I wish I were alone.


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## Quietgirl3 (Aug 8, 2014)

I don't mind being alone, I was the only child and have spent much of my life with no friends. I don't get lonely to easily. It is mostly things like if I need to take my car in or emergency contacts, an accident where I would need someone to come get me. Things like that. 


I work in medical billing and see claims all the time where people came in to the ER by themselves and it says they have no support system to discharge them to. I always feel bad thinking I could of come and sat there with them. Maybe we need a emergency contact club


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## social worker (Sep 15, 2014)

I love being alone, it's the only time I feel really relaxed. I do have a SO and a few friends that I see on occasion, but being at home by myself feels normal...


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## MermaidKitten (May 27, 2015)

Yes I have similar fears like you. I have a boyfriend and my family. I don't want kids. None of my bf's family makes it past 70. The women in mine are all usually in their 90s when they pass. I have a feelings I'm going to be very alone at the end of my life, which i somewhat don't mind but I'm scared of needing help with my health and what not.


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## teniralc21 (Oct 24, 2008)

Yes, I am very afraid of being alone. The only family that I am close to are my parents, grandmother, and one aunt and uncle and they are all in their late 60's and early 70's except for my grandmother who is 94. I have friends but I still feel very alone in life much of the time.


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## Gaige (May 11, 2015)

I am more scared of being in an unhappy relationship and as much as it's trendy today, staying in the relationship because you get too comfortable and ending it would be too troublesome.
Right now I am happy on my own, but I wouldn't mind a relationship if it didn't take up all of my free time.


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## EMPx (Nov 2, 2014)

I'd have to go with, no. You can get used to being alone. Human beings adapt pretty well. Well I did anyway. But then I've been a loner since about the age of '8'.


Other human emotions such as the need for love and comfort are a little trickier to work around.


Best of luck to you either way.


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## chefdave (Dec 16, 2013)

Not really, if anything I'd like the freedom to spend more time alone. I've always had to house share with others which I resent, its my dream to have a place of my own. It would be bliss.

My greater fear is being stuck in a relationship with someone I dislike or someone who dislikes me. When you're alone this isn't an issue.


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## Ab7925 (Feb 21, 2015)

I won't even say my age. Let's say I am not young. I look a lot younger than I am. Besides, it is very difficult to meet someone when you hardly leave the house. I also believe that a man would not understand my disorder, and would not want to be with someone with this disorder. What man would want to be with a woman who cannot interact socially.[/QUOTE]

i can totally relate to what you're saying. my bf just ended our relationship and while there were many factors as to why, my S/A was a big underlying role. he got tired of me always being at the house and not having any friends to go and see. he never had time to himself because i was always around. i guess it's important to maintain your own life and hobbies and interests while trying to make a relationship work. learned that a little too late  i'm back living with my mother now in her tiny apartment and i understand about not knowing how to meet people when you don't go out. and when you do go out, you try very hard to get things done as quickly as possible to get back inside. i'm trying to work on myself. 
hang in there. we all are trying to.


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## sanspants08 (Oct 21, 2008)

Gaige said:


> I am more scared of being in an unhappy relationship and as much as it's trendy today, staying in the relationship because you get too comfortable and ending it would be too troublesome.
> Right now I am happy on my own, but I wouldn't mind a relationship if it didn't take up all of my free time.


Glad I'm not the only one who noticed that it seems to be trendy to live in denial, with your current SO, because it's convenient. The last few women I've dated...we didn't hit it off at all and they didn't seem to care one bit. My guy friends don't seem to notice that they complain about being married nonstop, yet won't admit to being unhappy when confronted. I don't know how they do it.

I'd like a relationship that doesn't take up every last minute too. My last girlfriend wouldn't leave me alone for 20 minutes.

In the bigger picture I'm definitely afraid of getting "too old to find the right person." <---I put that in quotes because it's not really a logical thought.


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## saya2077 (Oct 6, 2013)

Nah, I actually dream of living alone in a quiet place with a dog, cat, and rabbit. Writing peacefully. The only socialising my visiting family and my online friends. I've spent the last two years not enjoying myself in shared accommodation, I secluded myself over time more and more, living alone just makes me feel more comfortable.


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## killahwail (Apr 16, 2015)

It's the longest nightmare of my life.


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## TryingMara (Mar 25, 2012)

I'm scared of what it'll be like when my family is not around anymore. Most of the time, it's too frightening to think about. I'm not afraid of living alone, but I don't think I'll be able to handle losing the people I love most. I see myself completely crumbling. I mean when I'm older and my family, namely my parents, have passed on, and there's a good chance my friends will have moved away. Emotionally, I'll be ******. If things don't change soon, I'll be financially ******, too.


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## Emma2040 (Apr 20, 2010)

No.


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## kesker (Mar 29, 2011)

petrified. i'm married but beyond that am relatively isolated. I am quite certain you will find a mate if that is your desire. Physically place yourself in the arenas where the possibility of connection exists. It can happen. Take care. :squeeze


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## chompers (Feb 3, 2015)

sanspants08 said:


> Glad I'm not the only one who noticed that it seems to be trendy to live in denial, with your current SO, because it's convenient. The last few women I've dated...we didn't hit it off at all and they didn't seem to care one bit. My guy friends don't seem to notice that they complain about being married nonstop, yet won't admit to being unhappy when confronted. I don't know how they do it.
> 
> I'd like a relationship that doesn't take up every last minute too. My last girlfriend wouldn't leave me alone for 20 minutes.
> 
> In the bigger picture I'm definitely afraid of getting "too old to find the right person." <---I put that in quotes because it's not really a logical thought.


Yep. I'm one of those people who was living in denial for a long time.

Now my relationship of over a decade is ending, and I feel like an idiot for being in denial for so long and not dealing with it sooner.

Why do people do this? I did it for a lot of reasons. It's more complicated than you would think. I always used to think people who did this were weak and stupid and pathetic and now I'm one of them... I regret being so judgemental.

Of course mental health issues aggravate the situation and provide a whole host of additional reasons/factors that play into this.

But it's true, being with someone who makes you feel lonely is worse than just being alone.


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## Deadguy (Aug 19, 2011)

I LOVE living alone. I do occasionally think about how I would take care of myself if my health takes a turn for the worse. For now, however, I'm not preoccupied with fear about that potentially happening.


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## KawaiiHime (Oct 10, 2013)

yes, it's one of my biggest fears.  the fear or being alone, so that when i have a problem i have no one to turn to.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

I love being alone, I don't have to worry about others.


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## Camelleone (Feb 3, 2011)

at first I'm so sad being alone. but after mostly alone most of my time, I'm getting so used of it and started become uncomfortable with people and harder to connect with people.
meeting with friends about 4-5 hours is okay, after that I will need time to be alone.


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## DayDreamingGuy (May 2, 2013)

chompers said:


> Yep. I'm one of those people who was living in denial for a long time.
> 
> Now my relationship of over a decade is ending, and I feel like an idiot for being in denial for so long and not dealing with it sooner.
> 
> ...


Same situation for me. The prospect of being alone again both feels like freedom and a nightmare. Maybe the relationship would have worked better if both participants wanted a lot of alone time.

Yeah, it's very complicated, not so clear-cut I once thought it would be. Being in a relationship that makes one feel lonely but without the benefits of actually being alone, sucks.


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## UniqueUserName (Aug 12, 2014)

I'm absolutely terrified. enough said.


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## HyperGiant (Feb 23, 2015)

Far more scared of becoming alone than being alone.:serious:


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## Crystalline (Dec 1, 2008)

My rational mind doesn't fear it. The irrational, needy and emotional part of my brain feels some despair at the thought.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

As long as I have friends I can chat to, either online or offline about the deeper side of life, then I am okay.


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## keyboardsmahshfwa (Apr 22, 2014)

I prefer to be alone. I only feel alone when I see that everyone else around me has someone by their side. At that point, I just feel out of place and want to withdraw as quickly as possible. 

I don't mind companionship though. I like having someone to listen to and vice versa. But solitude is what makes me happiest. I'm not 100% sure though. I'll have to make a deep, genuine connection with a person first. But I'm gradually loSING MY DAMN PATIENCE


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## aloneanddizzy (Jul 1, 2012)

Camelleone said:


> at first I'm so sad being alone. but after mostly alone most of my time, I'm getting so used of it and started become uncomfortable with people and harder to connect with people.
> meeting with friends about 4-5 hours is okay, after that I will need time to be alone.


Same here, except even moreso. While I have been alone (as far as a relationship goes) for my whole life, over the last couple of years I have only seen friends twice, and I was uncomfortable each time almost immediately. I've also seen my family in person twice during the same period (although I do see them every so often via video chat, at least). Other than that, I mostly see other people a couple of times per month when I have to go out to buy groceries, and I go out of my way to avoid any unnecessary interactions with them. Frankly, I don't even like talking to people on the phone.

I am very much accustomed to this situation now, and can't imagine having to make space for another human in my life. Of course the rest of the human race (particularly the opposite gender) had previously and conclusively demonstrated they were more than fine with that, so it isn't like I had a real choice in the matter. I merely learned to live within the limited space in which I was going to be caged whether I liked it or not.


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## zazen11 (Sep 3, 2013)

I'm used to being on my own most the time and I like having my own space, but I hope I will be able to expand my circle of friends over time, given that it's nonexistent.

Partly that is about getting over feeling scared about not being alone. It's these conflicting feelings that sort of define social anxiety.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sanspants08 (Oct 21, 2008)

chompers said:


> Yep. I'm one of those people who was living in denial for a long time.
> 
> Now my relationship of over a decade is ending, and I feel like an idiot for being in denial for so long and not dealing with it sooner.
> 
> ...


Yeah, I feel ya on the complicated-ness of the long-enduring-but-dysfunctional relationship. You know, sharing life is awesome. Even when it's not with the right person, just being able to do the little stuff like pointing and laughing at a roadsign, sharing an inside joke, or curling up on the couch after work and switching off our brains...sometimes those moments alone made "the wrong relationship" worthwhile for me. And that's the tip of the iceberg...

The bad moments would hit me when we ended up watching a movie with a romantic part, wherein the couple lives happily ever after, and I found myself feeling distant when she wanted to be in that moment too. There was no forgiving myself for the way I _didn't_ feel. And likewise, when I loved someone who didn't really love me, even when she claimed to...I'd know something was missing, and there was no making it right.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

I used to think I hated being alone but now I think I like it. I say "I think" because I'm once again stopping my medication so my perception is changing - quite dramatically. About 6 months ago I re-started anti-depressants purely because they help deal with feelings like loneliness. For me they change how I experience it - they make a range of things in my life more tolerable, and loneliness is one of those things.

I would much rather be alone than with a large range of people I meet. I do like some people's company but others just get on my nerves and as I'm getting older I no longer tolerate them if I don't want to be with them. I just couldn't be bothered anymore. I guess one of the advantages of getting older is you know yourself a little better and realise you don't have to put up with people you dislike if you don't want to.


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## peacelizard (Apr 17, 2014)

These days, I don't have a lot of time to think about it but when I do ... Yeah, sometimes, but I think that's natural


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