# Dropped out of school



## trendyfool (Apr 11, 2010)

I'm 17 and a senior in high school. Up until sophomore year I was a great student, pushed myself really hard, got all A's and everything...but the whole time, without really knowing it, I was very depressed and anxious and didn't really have friends. In tenth grade I stopped going to school for like an entire month, I was just physically and mentally drained from all the effort and expectations I put on myself. Since then I've only been going to school about 2/3 of the time. I get a's in half my classes and fail the rest because I don't go to school enough of the time. I have some pretty good friends at school who know what I'm going through, but not going to school affects those friendships because I'm just not with them enough. the semester's almost over and I'm only passing two classes...and this is seriously impacting my plans for the future. I want to go to a four-year college, but at this point I'm going to have to spend at least a year making up high school credits before I graduate...

I'm sick of not going to school. School has always been a scary place for me and I don't have any good associations to it. It's a place where I feel self-conscious and nervous--my school has over 1,600 people so there are lots of crowds. At the same time I care about my future and my grades and my friends. But school is so scary that even when I get ready to leave the house in the morning, I just can't. 

And yes, I've told my teachers and counselors about this and they understand.

Any advice???? This is completely ruining my life.


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## umieraj (Jan 8, 2011)

I know exactly what you're going through. I dropped out of high school in my senior year, because it was just too much to handle. I ended up getting my GED a couple months later. Is there any way that you could take some classes online? That might help a little bit, if it were possible.


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## trendyfool (Apr 11, 2010)

Yeah, I could. I guess I'm pretty set on going to school though. I really want to be around my friends and have, you know, a good high-school experience. The thing is, I only have about four months left. 

I'm taking only four classes this next semester, so it might help some. I just hope I don't have to give up on going to my school, I love my school.


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## cavemanslaststand (Jan 6, 2011)

I know I say this alot. If Washington has Post Secondary Options Act, go to community college. There's a reason why HS is causing you problems. In Minnesota, it's Post Secondary is a law, so if you take classes at Community College and University while in 11th and 12th grade, the state pays for it and you get double credit for HS and college.

The reason why I say this over and over is the students in college are slightly older and there's less of the HS cliches and such. Also, sometimes college is slightly better for SA due to the laxed attendance in certain cases.


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## kentcharm (Feb 2, 2011)

I have a similar story. I was a high-honors student until the middle of grade 12. I just couldn't take the SA anymore and dropped out. Left behind many scholarships and references. You'd think I'd regret it, but honestly I don't. I finished up online, and am currently taking some much need time off before going to university. I'm lucky because my mom allowed me to do it and isn't pressuring me at all to do anything.... 

At this point I'm just trying to improve my self confidence and prepare myself for the rest of my life. My advice is don't feel rushed. You are young. The economy isn't good right now, so many people aren't going to university right now. Many people don't even have jobs... everyone has problems right now. You are not alone.


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## Justsimplyme (Feb 3, 2011)

I know just what you're talking about, I just dropped out of school cus of depression and so much anxiety that I couldn't be there anymore. It was a hard decicion, but imma take it slow now and try again next year. Life is long you know.


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## trendyfool (Apr 11, 2010)

Thanks for the comments everyone  I decided I'm going to stick with high school. If I didn't I would be letting my anxiety control me. I just started a new semester and I'm only taking four classes instead of six, which is helping a lot. I've been going to school more and it's not quite as scary now. I want to make the most of the few months I have left with 011 and I want to feel like I'm part of something other people are part of. So i'm going to keep on going, and pass my classes, and make up the rest of high school next year before hopefully going to a 4-year college.


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## SociallyBroken (Oct 3, 2010)

In the same grade as ya  ... I know 100% what ya going though... I did the same thing 2 years ago in 10th grade .. I skipped for a year... Then enrolled to an online high school. What about trying an Online High School? They too are like public schools and get the same respect as a public school does , if not better respected! If you want ...


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

trendyfool said:


> Thanks for the comments everyone  I decided I'm going to stick with high school. If I didn't I would be letting my anxiety control me. I just started a new semester and I'm only taking four classes instead of six, which is helping a lot. I've been going to school more and it's not quite as scary now. I want to make the most of the few months I have left with 011 and I want to feel like I'm part of something other people are part of. So i'm going to keep on going, and pass my classes, and make up the rest of high school next year before hopefully going to a 4-year college.


Good for you!
I am happy you are going through with finishing high school.
You made an important discovery....YOU put the pressure on yourself. People will try to put pressure on you, but only YOU can internalize it.


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## Ready To Freak Out (Jul 20, 2010)

trendyfool said:


> Thanks for the comments everyone  I decided I'm going to stick with high school. If I didn't I would be letting my anxiety control me. I just started a new semester and I'm only taking four classes instead of six, which is helping a lot. I've been going to school more and it's not quite as scary now. I want to make the most of the few months I have left with 011 and I want to feel like I'm part of something other people are part of. So i'm going to keep on going, and pass my classes, and make up the rest of high school next year before hopefully going to a 4-year college.


It seems like you have a really good handle on things. You seem like a very motivated person who won't let anxiety and depression win. Really, really awesome!


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## Justsimplyme (Feb 3, 2011)

trendyfool said:


> Thanks for the comments everyone  I decided I'm going to stick with high school. If I didn't I would be letting my anxiety control me. I just started a new semester and I'm only taking four classes instead of six, which is helping a lot. I've been going to school more and it's not quite as scary now. I want to make the most of the few months I have left with 011 and I want to feel like I'm part of something other people are part of. So i'm going to keep on going, and pass my classes, and make up the rest of high school next year before hopefully going to a 4-year college.


Really admire your choice, you are strong who don't let stuff like this come in your way! Hope things go well for you


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## SociallyBroken (Oct 3, 2010)

trendyfool said:


> Thanks for the comments everyone  I decided I'm going to stick with high school. If I didn't I would be letting my anxiety control me. I just started a new semester and I'm only taking four classes instead of six, which is helping a lot. I've been going to school more and it's not quite as scary now. I want to make the most of the few months I have left with 011 and I want to feel like I'm part of something other people are part of. So i'm going to keep on going, and pass my classes, and make up the rest of high school next year before hopefully going to a 4-year college.


Oh did not see you post back! This is awesome


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## etruscansunset (Oct 31, 2010)

*Value-driven method*

Trendyfool -

I feel you man. I feared going to high school many mornings. The thought of enduring all those hours seemed impossible, like voluntarily going to hell for part of your day.

Yet I bet you are torn like I was, because another part of you wants to get great grades, which is one of the few ways to guarantee a better life for yourself down the road.

Right now I'm involved in some therapy that is value-driven. First, I learned some techniques to calm myself down in the face of thoughts like "you can't possibly go to school today, it is too stressful!" One way to do that is to look at your thoughts and feelings as just what they are... thoughts and feelings, and not thinking that they represent who you really are. Like if you have a dream about something weird like being a flying monkey, you wake up and say "wow, I had such a weird dream, sorta funny...". You don't wake up and say "oh no, what do I do now? I'm a flying monkey, and nobody will accept me..".

So look at your thoughts in the morning as you would a dream. Just tell yourself "oh yeah, I just had that thought again about not being able to go to school," and "oh yeah, I just had that sick feeling in my stomach again, interesting...". Observe your own thoughts like a philosopher studying yourself.

There are many more steps, but I'm wrap up to keep this post from being a page long. Once you manage your stress and realize that it and its thoughts and feelings are not you, you can start forming who you really are. And you do this by picking values. It looks like you already have a great value: you want to be academically successful, function at school, be driven in life.

So to conclude, you set this as your value, and then next time you feel bad in the morning about going to school, open a note book with your values written down, and read them over. Then take a second and keep track of the thoughts and feelings you are having, telling you not to go to school. Then ask yourself this: do I want these thoughts and feelings to be who I am today, or do I want this value I wrote down to be who I am today (a driven, successful student, whatever)?

Hopefully this perspective will motivate you to go to school, to make the "bad" thoughts and feelings seem less powerful, and to give you a feeling of having the space to choose what to do with your day, instead of feeling like your day - and your life - is destined to be whatever your thoughts and feelings happen to be in the morning! It feels great. Then while going to school, you can smile and think about how going is your choice, and how you overcame yourself, and basically told your own (old) self to F off! Very powerful feeling, beating your own demons. Let me know if this works (takes practice).


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## trendyfool (Apr 11, 2010)

Yes, etruscansunset I'm in CBT right now. What you described is pretty similar to what I'm learning. At some point if you want to get over your anxiety you have to decide that whatever you value is more important than your anxiety. So you do what's important to you even though it's hard, even though you freak out. That was a really good reminder to not accept my thoughts as reality, which I've been doing too much lately so thanks


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## trendyfool (Apr 11, 2010)

I'm doing better in this respect now. So far it's four weeks into the quarter and I've only missed a couple days of class, and I'm doing all my homework. My mood hasn't really improved much, but my therapist says it's good that I'm able to separate mood from behavior by going to school even when I'm sad.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Just keep pluggin' away at it.

Just think, next year it'll all be over, and you'll have your degree. That's really worth it!


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## trendyfool (Apr 11, 2010)

Yup! Though that's just high school...then I have to get my aa and then transfer to a four-year school. But that's ok. I just have to think long-term :]


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## khaos (Aug 28, 2011)

I'm glad to hear you are staying in high school to face your obstacles....I guess, it really is best longrun-wise


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## trendyfool (Apr 11, 2010)

yup, as they say hope springs eternal


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