# Haven't Made Friends in College



## mary123 (Nov 1, 2014)

So this fall I started college and I was really looking forward to it. During the last two years of high school things were finally coming together and I had a really great group of friends. Because of this, for the first time I wasn't afraid to go off to college, i thought i could make friends and do all of the fun things college kids get to do. Unfortunately after being here for two months i haven't made any friends and I'm starting to feel really lonely and depressed. One thing that makes it tough is that i am going to a school that is really far away from home, Im originally from Massachusetts but the college I'm going to is in the western part of the Midwest. I didn't think it would be a problem but people honestly seem different here and even the people i talk to a little bit i can already tell aren't the type of people i could actually be friends with. I have joined a bunch of clubs and tried making friends there but honestly nothing has stuck. I don't know what to do anymore because i feel like i have put myself out there as much as possible but i still can't find anyone with similar interests and even then its not like I'm getting invited anywhere anyway. I feel like it isn't because i have a mean or rude personality or anything, I'm friendly and stuff and generally well liked... i don't know its just been really hard because i was in such a good place before i came here and now everything feels like its falling apart.


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## yrocis42 (Jun 20, 2008)

I had a really hard time making friends in college too.. I didn't last there long for that reason. I wish I had stuck it out and tried to stay focused on why I was truely there, which was to get a degree, not to make friends.. But I understand how it feels to want to meet friends but not being able to open up and get past the fear. that fear seems to be instinct for us to avoid opening up and conversing with people. Its really scary to be in an all new place with all new people, I will pray for you.


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## theweirdkid (Jul 10, 2012)

Hi, 

Making friends in college is really difficult, especially in the Midwest (I'm from there), since Midwesterners usually are very town-centric and don't really go away from the friend groups that they've had all their lives since they were in Kindergarten. 

One of the great things about college, however, is that you can use it as a jumping off point to get involved with things that you enjoy and make friends from there. There are all sorts of really awesome clubs to get involved in; everything from videogames to Quidditch teams (Yes, we had one at my university). Just go to a couple of these meetings of whatever group you want and see how it works out.


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## BlueMoo (May 27, 2014)

I felt like a little fish in a big pond when I started college (I'm a junior now). During my first semester, I didn't even know what I was doing there. I didn't know anyone, I wasn't enjoying my classes... it just wasn't working at all and I wasn't happy. I switched my major the next semester and when I started taking classes that I wanted to take, I started to see more opportunities opening up. By sophomore year I was getting involved in things that I genuinely wanted to be a part of and was starting to feel part of a community; I even have a best friend - as close of a friend as my best friends from high school, possibly even closer - whom I met at school. 
I'd say you should give it some time. I never would have thought two months into my freshman year that I'd be fitting in like I am now. Consider what you're doing (both academically and in your leisure time) - is it what you want to be doing? If it's not, and you're not happy, then the people around you probably won't be much help. Remember, your personal happiness and confidence play a huge role in how others see you and relate to you.
It's also possible that this school isn't the right one for you. If things don't get better, you don't have to stay there. Most college kids don't even realize how many of their former peers have gone off to college then come running home because it didn't work out, but it's all too common. Sometimes it's because they felt pressured to leave before they were ready (that's the American education system for you), other times they just don't fit in the way they thought they would. If you end up in either of those situations, don't feel ashamed! When you do find your niche (and you're allowed to take your time finding it), you'll have lots of people around you that mean something to you.


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