# Should I try to get out of my triple dorm room???



## Daanni (Jul 30, 2017)

Hello, I'm going to university this fall and just about had a panic attack when I checked my housing assignment and found out that I was put into a triple. 

I didn't really consider this at first because most of the rooms at my campus are doubles, but this is where I'm at. My two roommates were randomly assigned to me. I've never heard of or met either of them before. I wanted a roommate because I though that might bring me out of my shell, but I'm a little bit terrified of two complete strangers. Plus, I have some degree of claustrophobia and often have trouble staying in small spaces for extended periods of time, especially when other people are present. 

I went through middle school and high school basically being the odd one out. Even if I ever kind of made a friend I was seldom someone they would go to first. I got left out of pretty much everything. Even when I went to homecoming the people in my group (including the one who invited me) barely spoke to me. So I'm terrified that my roommates are going to become very close and I'll get left out of everything. 

On the other hand, I've been out of therapy for about a year now, and so I don't have any sort of note that I could bring to show the offices. Plus, I'm a freshman, so I'm very low priority housing wise (hence the triple.) 

My question is do you think I should try to get out of it (a process I have to do in person, BTW) or will it not be so bad. Was anyone else in a triple? Let me know what you think.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Triple? Like 3 people sharing a bedroom? Never heard of that, sounds cramped. I would so try to get out of it, 2 might test your anxiety but 3 sounds like flooding.


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## Tuan Jie (Apr 6, 2017)

@Daanni
First off, it's great you're taking the step to go to university! It's a big thing for anyone, even more so for a person with sa. Don't forget that all freshmen are nervous to some degree. Whether you can detect it in them or not. You'd be surprised how insecure some people are inside you'd least expect it from. The ones walking in looking like they own the place in particular. I used to cope with threatening social situations in that vein, so take it from me. Hardly anything is the way it seems.

So you're in the same boat. No matter if you're in a double or triple room. 
Three is a difficult number though. Possibly for the reason @Kevin001 mentioned, but also because it's even hard for three good friends to prevent one from feeling the odd one out in the longer run. Although I believe you stand a good chance for this change in your life to become a breaktrough, I think I would opt for a double room in your situation. It seems like a bit much to deal with all at once. 
Here's some other advice you didn't ask for: Try to be as open about your issues with your roommate(s) as you possibly can, right from the start. If you start to pretent to be anybody else than you are, it creates a precedent in your mind and it's hard to come around from that. It has also helped me to tell one teacher about my issues. It created some space for me, took a bit of the pressure off, just to know she knew. Keep us posted and feel free to drop any more questions that may arise. Good luck!


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## BrokeTech (Jun 1, 2017)

My sister had to share a room with two other girls at the college she went to her freshman year. I don't think she liked it.

I had suite mates 2 out of 4 years in college (so, one roommate and then an attached room with two other girls, and we all shared the same bathroom), one roommate my sophomore year and then a single my senior year. One roommate was bad enough, I could not handle two. A "shell" wasn't my issue; I needed privacy and alone time, it's hard to get that with one roommate and forget about it with two. That's just to start.

My understanding is it's very hard to get room assignments changed. I would try, if I were you, but...I don't know if it's going to happen. The roommate I had sophomore year got her dorm assignment changed because her mother didn't want her in a co-ed dorm. But just being like "I want one roommate, not two"...I don't know if they'll do that.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

Happened to me my first year in college. I was put in a triple with a socially hyper extrovert girl, and another semi awkward girl who tried very hard to be friendly and highly social. I was mentally and emotionally drained after a few weeks. I had to put up a front and be socially "on" all the time. Studying was virtually impossible as most of the people in that dorm never studied as they were the smart types who are able to understand and remember everything from lecture on the spot. The few times I tried to study, the extrovert girl will question "why are you studying, it's your first year, have some fun!" Sleep was also impossible. Privacy was non existent. Everything I do in my computer, the awkward housemate will snoop and ask what I am looking at on my computer to try to make conversation with me. 

I ended up asking to be relocate to a suite style dorm across campus where I had my own room, with a shared living room and kitchen. I was extremely lucky it was granted. It was so much better. It was more expensive and my parents were not happy with that. But it was worth it as it wasn't a socially stressful hell for me like the other dorm was. I was dreading every waking second I was there. But most people tend to love and thrive with the 24/7 highly social environment. Pretty sure my two roommates took it the wrong way when I left. 

This is why for anyone or introverts who are looking to live in a dorm in a shared room, really try to consider this scenario before you jump in face first.


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## nal112 (Aug 21, 2017)

I was in a triple in my freshman year (randomly assigned roommates). I think it might be doable with SA and claustrophobia if the room is larger. In my school, the triples were huge corner rooms. We arranged the beds and drawers so that we made little cubicles for ourselves. I would call your reslife and ask how big these rooms are. Also, I know it is hard but try to learn more about your roommates. If they don't seem understanding about even little things, that's a bad sign that it won't work.


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