# Everything you need to know on book "How to Win Friends and Influence People"



## moke64916 (May 31, 2011)

All coming from the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People."

Part 1 : FUNDEMENTAL TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING PEOPLE

Principle#1= Don't criticize, condemn, or complain
Principle#2= Give honest and sincere appreciation
Principle#3= Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Part 2: SIX WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU

Principle #1= Become genuinely interested in other people
Principle #2= Smile
Principle # 3= Remember that a person's name is to that the sweetest and most importantbsound in any language.
Principle #4= Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Principle#5= Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
Principle #6= Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely

PART 3 I WILL EXPLAIN IN A LATER THREAD. Too much writing at one time, haha. This comes straight from the book though. You can't find this book in bookstores anymore. This thread is just scratching the surface of the book. Hope this post can help you socially around others.


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## Just Tony (Oct 4, 2010)

Bro you sound like an advertiser for the book haha. Your doing a good job, I am planning on buying it. May I get the authors name?


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## moke64916 (May 31, 2011)

Author: Dale Carnegie


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## Just Tony (Oct 4, 2010)

Roger. Thanks sir.


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## ReachinOut (May 10, 2011)

Yea Dale Carnegie's book "How to win friends and Influence people" is something everyone on here should read. Gives great insight into how to deal with people and has really helped me a lot.


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## Kon (Oct 21, 2010)

moke64916 said:


> Part 1 : FUNDEMENTAL TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING PEOPLE
> 
> Principle#1= Don't criticize, condemn, or complain
> Principle#2= Give honest and sincere appreciation
> ...


This stuff makes me feel like vomiting. Why would one kiss arse to make friends? If someone tried to use those structured (fake) techniques to be my friend I think I'd feel like spitting on them. How about being yourself and genuine and if they don't accept you as you are, why would you want to have anything to do with them?


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## Oscar7 (May 20, 2011)

^Well, it says be sincere. So, don't be fake. When you meet people you like, being sincere should come pretty easy.


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## Shooterrr (Jul 19, 2009)

Great book. I bought it a few months ago but I haven't had a chance to read the entire thing yet. It definitely has some great advice for communicating with people and getting them to like you.


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## pehrj (Feb 12, 2009)

moke64916 said:


> All coming from the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People."
> 
> Part 1 : FUNDEMENTAL TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING PEOPLE
> 
> ...


When I read this book, I couldn't help but notice how much of this applies to how you treat yourself as well. Especially Principle #1 from Part 1.


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## moke64916 (May 31, 2011)

Kon said:


> This stuff makes me feel like vomiting. Why would one kiss arse to make friends? If someone tried to use those structured (fake) techniques to be my friend I think I'd feel like spitting on them. How about being yourself and genuine and if they don't accept you as you are, why would you want to have anything to do with them?


Well would you like to br critisized? How would it make you feel? Do you or do you not ginuinely care for others and their interests? These techniques have proven to be real. Have any of yours succeeded? Read the book before you draw conclusions. See thats another principle. Don't critisize. It will come back to you. For it has in this message.


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## Kon (Oct 21, 2010)

moke64916 said:


> Well would you like to br critisized? How would it make you feel? Do you or do you not ginuinely care for others and their interests? These techniques have proven to be real. Have any of yours succeeded? Read the book before you draw conclusions. See thats another principle. Don't critisize. It will come back to you. For it has in this message.


To be honest, I've never had problems making friends. Girls or guys. I just don't care for them all that much as I'm an introvert. But that has nothing to do with my arguments against a book of that type. Let me ask you this?

1. You don't find the title of the book "WINNING" friends and "INFLUENCING" people a bit repulsive?

2. You think "WINNING OVER" and "INFLUENCING" people is a good way in cultivating genuine/true friendship? 

3. You think close relationships between people are that simple/superficial so they can be written down as a set of formal rules/niceties that can be studied/memorized?


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## dragons09 (Nov 18, 2008)

Kon said:


> To be honest, I've never had problems making friends. Girls or guys. I just don't care for them all that much as I'm an introvert. But that has nothing to do with my arguments against a book of that type. Let me ask you this?
> 
> 1. You don't find the title of the book "WINNING" friends and "INFLUENCING" people a bit repulsive?
> 
> ...


These are the main criticism I hear about this book and they do seem like really valid points.


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## moke64916 (May 31, 2011)

Answers to questions

1). What other title of the book would get people's attention. Do you have a better way? 
2). The whole purpose of the book is to show how human behavior works when it comes to person to person interaction. If you know the natural behaviors behind people. You consciously know that.... Never mind. All in all this book shows you human behavior. Overall it goes down to the basic principle( do onto others as you would like them to do onto me.)
Humans love to talk about themselves. It's in our blood. But if you know that and take a GENUINE care into their interests and relate to it. You've made a friend right there. This book has helped millions of people.

3). Yes I do think it's that simple. Truth comes in simplicity. The hard part is making those simple truths into your everday practice. Those truths(principles) are easier said then done. So on some level I agree with you on your third question.

[done titration=Kon;1059062958]To be honest, I've never had problems making friends. Girls or guys. I just don't care for them all that much as I'm an introvert. But that has nothing to do with my arguments against a book of that type. Let me ask you this?

1. You don't find the title of the book "WINNING" friends and "INFLUENCING" people a bit repulsive?

2. You think "WINNING OVER" and "INFLUENCING" people is a good way in cultivating genuine/true friendship? 

3. You think close relationships between people are that simple/superficial so they can be written down as a set of formal rules/niceties that can be studied/memorized? [/QUOTE]


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## moke64916 (May 31, 2011)

dragons09 said:


> These are the main criticism I hear about this book and they do seem like really valid points.


Yes I believe they are valid points. But rather than looking into the flaws, why don't you find the beauty? Accept the flaws for what they are. The truth is you can argue/debate back in forth. But to the person that reads this book and practices it in his everyday life, he will notice a great change when amongst people. You can always find a flaw in anything. Always. You can choose to see the negatives or the positives. If you choose to see the negatives ester than the beauty, you won't be as of a happy person. Like Maek Twain says, "Be interested in Everything. Attached to nothing."


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## deelishuss (Apr 5, 2009)

This is a great book. You're reminded me to re-read it. 

Btw, i also felt negatively towards it on first glance, but I think it really has more to do with a poor title that comes off as disingenuous. The content itself is excellent.


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## moke64916 (May 31, 2011)

deelishuss said:


> This is a great book. You're reminded me to re-read it.
> 
> Btw, i also felt negatively towards it on first glance, but I think it really has more to do with a poor title that comes off as disingenuous. The content itself is excellent.


Indeed it is. It can help everyone with SA. But people with SA should learn how to love themselves first. I've noticed a lot of people with low self esteem. It's sad. I used to have SA bad, I got past it. I live in a state of peace, joy, love, and bliss. Through my spiritual journey I can feel bliss. It's the most wonderful feeling out of all feelings. It took me a year of practice on attitude and spirituality to find these wonderful emotions. Hard work on yourself pays off. The question is for Those with SA, are they willing to change to live a happy, joyful life? I'd be glad to help people find true joy that comes from within.


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## Ready To Freak Out (Jul 20, 2010)

Kon said:


> This stuff makes me feel like vomiting. Why would one kiss arse to make friends? If someone tried to use those structured (fake) techniques to be my friend I think I'd feel like spitting on them. How about being yourself and genuine and if they don't accept you as you are, why would you want to have anything to do with them?


A few years ago, I'd completely isolated myself. When I started trying to make friends again, at first I had to actively force myself not to focus on people's flaws, to ask about what was going on in their lives, etc. I had to overcome some problems in my thinking, and the best way to do that was to force myself to behave properly in social interactions while arguing against my flawed thinking patterns. While you might start out struggling to be genuine in your social interactions, eventually some of us find that real interest in other people and true acceptance of their flaws and differences.

As to why you wouldn't want to be friends with people who don't like you as you are, people with SA often don't give others a chance to see who we really are. Our anxiety leads us to behave in ways that make us seem like rambling idiots or boring people with nothing to say. That's not who we really are - that's how our disorder makes us seem.

I might actually read this book now lol


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## moke64916 (May 31, 2011)

Ready To Freak Out said:


> A few years ago, I'd completely isolated myself. When I started trying to make friends again, at first I had to actively force myself not to focus on people's flaws, to ask about what was going on in their lives, etc. I had to overcome some problems in my thinking, and the best way to do that was to force myself to behave properly in social interactions while arguing against my flawed thinking patterns. While you might start out struggling to be genuine in your social interactions, eventually some of us find that real interest in other people and true acceptance of their flaws and differences.
> 
> As to why you wouldn't want to be friends with people who don't like you as you are, people with SA often don't give others a chance to see who we really are. Our anxiety leads us to behave in ways that make us seem like rambling idiots or boring people with nothing to say. That's not who we really are - that's how our disorder makes us seem.
> 
> I might actually read this book now lol


All of SA can go away forever. The key is to Surrender and stop fighting. I no longer struggle with SA or OCD which I used to in the past really bad. It is that simple Surrender what is and accept it. Then you will feel peace. I relate to you when I used to struggle with SA. All of you with SA can beat it forever. Medication does not solve all problems. Coping skills are key. If anyone is interested in learning how to beat SA forever and not have to deal with it again. Feel free to pm me. If I have beaten it, then so can all of you.


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## arlenemariedaniels (Jul 2, 2011)

Read that book before and it's really pretty good! Let me add one of my favorites here too. It's called *How to Stop Self-Sabotage* by an Australian psychology expert named Dr. Darryl Cross. It's a pretty useful read for people who are held back by their own personal issues. It definitely helped me to get past mine.  Check it out!


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## phobiaphobe (Mar 16, 2010)

I read the Dale Carnegie book a long time ago and I found it helpful. I remember that most of the book is stuff I already know of how to be kind to people, but he writes it out well and it's like a good reminder on what is an appropriate and respectable way to behave.

The title did put me off a bit because it sounds like "how to manipulate", but maybe it's because there were lots of examples on working with people. It's been a while since I've read it, but I think there were loads of business and work situations in there and the aim of the book was on how to move up in your work with better social skills. Winning friends and influencing people are effective ways to become noticed at work. Obviously, if there are two equally qualified people up for promotion and one has more charisma than the other, the balance will tip towards the person with influence.


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