# What is your defense mechanism?



## No-Sturm-und-Drang (Jan 21, 2009)

Do you smile when you are not happy? Are you a jerk to people that want to get close to you because you are scared? Tell me about it.


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## lastofthekews (May 11, 2009)

I have tended to be a jerk to the people i'm closest to recently, and I go in waves of being a jerk, then apologising and trying to be a good friend to them again. I think that i'm so scared of rejection that I see it in the slightest things that others do, and so I feel hurt by the people I care about and so want them to now how i'm feeling...that comes across as acting like a jerk at times. I'm determined from now on not to do this and to accept that they do like me and not keep testing them.

My other defense mechanism is to be avoidant. I do this with my family, as I still feel like a child around them and so avoid them as much as possible (not answering the phone, going out if I know they are going to be in the area). I don't want to be like this, but it is my gut reaction to family situations.

How about you?


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

Avoidance, emotional repression, dissociation. I wish I were able to consciously control the latter two, as they're way out of control lately, a real hindrance.


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## alohomora (Apr 5, 2009)

No-Sturm-und-Drang said:


> Do you smile when you are not happy? Are you a jerk to people that want to get close to you because you are scared? Tell me about it.


i have done both of the above, although it depends, and i'm improving, or at least trying


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## No-Sturm-und-Drang (Jan 21, 2009)

Mine is avoidance and sometimes i'm kinda mean when people make me feel vulnerable. I guess i just do it to keep people away so they wont get too close to do any damage.


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

Avoidance, but i also get by by fake smiling.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

Hmm.. my brain's defense mechanism is dissociation. My personal defense mechanism in an anxiety-provoking situation would be avoidance, if I can. If not, I usually react by either being overly nice and childish or being aggressive and snobbish. 

Its weird. I hate it, I react in one of those polar opposites and I feel as though none of these people can experience the 'actual' me, which is neither.


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## zomgz (Aug 17, 2009)

My defense mechanism is to get super-mellow. I'm usually pretty energetic and peppy but then I'll get all quiet and depressed looking lol. Then I just want people to leave me alone but they usually still bother me xD.


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## Kelly (Dec 12, 2003)

I use humor as a defense mechanism. Or sarcasm.

Have a nice day,
Kelly


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

Upon meeting new people, I occasionally act like a jerk. In the situation I recognize that I'm being unusually cruel, yet feel like I can't stop my behavior. 

Most of the time I avoid people like the plague. I try to do it nonchalantly to look independent instead of anxious or stuck-up, whatever others might think. But deep down I believe I'm not fooling anyone. 

In times I can't avoid people though, I smile a lot and laugh at things I don't actually think are funny so I appear like a friendly person. I act like I'm listening intently in hopes of people not wondering why I don't talk much.


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

I look around a lot.


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## SilentWitness (Dec 27, 2009)

shadowmask said:


> Avoidance, emotional repression, dissociation. I wish I were able to consciously control the latter two, as they're way out of control lately, a real hindrance.


Avoidance and dissociation especially. Emotions range from intense anger to complete sadness. Anger gets me where I want to go, sadness keeps me locked away.:um


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## SADuser (Jul 9, 2009)

I don't know if this is related, but my mood is generally the opposite of the person I'm around. For example, when my mum's happy, talkative and positive, I'll feel the need to become all distant, negative and grumpy... and when she's feeling sad and depressed, I'll jump out of my rut, and become positive in an effort to lift her mood. Brains work in mysterious ways. It's because i take life and my mum for granted sometimes, but I'm making an effort to become positive on a constant basis. You'll be surprised how drastically your life can change if you base it on positivity.


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## societe anonyme (Dec 12, 2009)

Avoidance, emotional repression and fantasy...


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## rincewind (Sep 7, 2009)

I just don't talk, and I'm pretty sure I often give off a "don't even _try_ to start a conversation with me" vibe.


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## J.T. (Jan 9, 2009)

Avoidance, fantasy, books, movies, exercise. I avoid everything from friends and activities to dating and public speaking so I don't have to deal with SA. I fantasize about the life and romance I wish I had. I escape reality by reading books and watching movies. Exercise is something I've always enjoyed.


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## TATA (Sep 18, 2008)

My defense mechanism makes me look bored in the company i'm in, unfriendly, and sarcastic.


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## Banzai (Jun 4, 2009)

Sarcasm, looking away, rolling my eyes, smiling, short/vague responses ("I dunno")....usually a combination of all of them put together.


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## tutliputli (Feb 22, 2009)

Avoidance, alcohol, smiling a lot, laughing a lot, withdrawing, and most often, just not talking.


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## JayDontCareEh (Jul 16, 2007)

Sarcasm.


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## glarmph (May 21, 2009)

Hiding in my basement


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## Louis (Jun 30, 2009)

i drink lol


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## Cleary (Nov 10, 2007)

shadowmask said:


> Avoidance, emotional repression, dissociation. I wish I were able to consciously control the latter two, as they're way out of control lately, a real hindrance.


This, exactly this.


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## stuart (Jul 16, 2009)

I just stand there and try to look like a real hard-*** with a stern, serious look on my face. And it works, when smiling people happen to glance at me they immediately stop smiling and look away, haha...


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## PlayerOffGames (Mar 19, 2007)

naktar is a thought and i used to praise him before each meal...for really real ;_;


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## rcapo89 (Jun 3, 2009)

Breakfast0fChampions said:


> I stab people.


:lol :sus

This may sound weird but I sometimes pinch myself. I place my hands in my pocket and I pinch my thumb with my index finger. :blank I guess this is my way of using physical discomfort to overcome my intense anxiety.


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## steelmyhead (May 31, 2009)

Hmm that's a thinker. Probably my entire persona was created to minimize the risk of disappointment & failure. I just can't handle it.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

Applying logic and reason to most things.


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## GermanHermit (Sep 6, 2008)

Kelly said:


> I use humor as a defense mechanism. Or sarcasm.
> 
> Have a nice day,
> Kelly


Ditto.
That and blunt honesty.


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## quietriverrunsdeep (Oct 10, 2009)

My flight or fight response is more active than most. The slightest social or stressful situation gets my adrenaline going to the max and and I avoid it until the last possible moment. If getting out of the situation isn't possible, my body completly shuts down and I can't function properly. I've also recently notice I wring my hands or squeeze my arms. That, and spend most of my days isolated from the world in my room either on my laptop, reading, or playing video games.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

I laugh uncontrollably.

"How are you?"

HAHAHAHA!

Like that.


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## aaa120 (Jul 16, 2013)

1. Sarcasm. I always say these really sarcastic (and apparently mean) things.. I sometimes don't even realize I'm doing it because I've done it for so long...

2. Avoidance. I not only avoid social situations, I avoid certain topics of conversation (the ones that I really want to talk about, to be honest) because I know that people won't be interested... I just talk about what they like.

3. Fake smiling/laughing. When people are talking about things a REALLY couldn't care less about (I sometimes talk about things I don't like, but when I REALLY can't care less) I just sort of give up, stop talking, and fake smile/laugh..


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## prettyful (Mar 14, 2013)

lastofthekews said:


> *I have tended to be a jerk to the people i'm closest to recently, and I go in waves of being a jerk, then apologising and trying to be a good friend to them again. * I think that i'm so scared of rejection that I see it in the slightest things that others do, and so I feel hurt by the people I care about and so want them to now how i'm feeling...that comes across as acting like a jerk at times. I'm determined from now on not to do this and to accept that they do like me and not keep testing them.
> 
> My other defense mechanism is to be avoidant. I do this with my family, as I still feel like a child around them and so avoid them as much as possible (not answering the phone, going out if I know they are going to be in the area). I don't want to be like this, but it is my gut reaction to family situations.
> 
> How about you?


i do this too.

my defense mechanism would have to be denial.


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## AxeDroid (Jan 11, 2013)

I play video games, read mangas and watch anime or anything to keep my mind distracted.


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## Naed26 (Aug 2, 2013)

rcapo89 said:


> :lol :sus
> 
> This may sound weird but I sometimes pinch myself. I place my hands in my pocket and I pinch my thumb with my index finger. :blank I guess this is my way of using physical discomfort to overcome my intense anxiety.


I do this too or I bite my tongue. It does help, since I'm focused on the pain everything else matters a little less.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

I'm a jerk to people that want to get close to me. I also close myself off and don't reveal or share my interests with people.


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## Yer Blues (Jul 31, 2013)

Tap dance. I challenge them to a dance off. 

Meh, I usually just babble nervously.


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## Taaylah (Apr 5, 2012)

Avoidance and pushing people away


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## Glass Child (Feb 28, 2013)

Laughing. Oh my god, laughing... I hate it so much.

If anyone insults me? I laugh, and obviously that just makes them angrier.
I feel uncomfortable? I laugh, re-assuring the other person that what they're saying is completely okay.
I feel upset? I laugh about how it really isn't that bad. 

Etc etc etc. It is so awful. I am easily humored, but doing that in such situations only seems to make it worse. It is a good cover-up for a while, but it is impossible for me to go through a therapy session without laughing half the time... it is very concerning.


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## HappyFriday (Jul 21, 2013)

I avoid people. If I cannot avoid people I avoid speaking to them. If I have to deal with them I tell them to leave me alone. If they do not leave me alone I get angry. When I get angry my mind goes blank. I simply grab my baseball bat and hit you with it until you stop breathing. ^_^


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