# Crushing on someone you could never be with



## Tommy5000 (Jun 18, 2011)

I'm sure we've all had experiences like this. How'd you deal with it? how long did it last? Once you realized all the obstacles, did you give up easily or keep the hope alive that just maybe something could come of it?...

(real life crushes, not celeb ones)


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## Colton (Jun 27, 2011)

For a year I crushed on this cute and popular hipster-ish girl who took my bus. I got over her by closing my eyes whenever she got on the bus and basically pretending she didn't exist. It's all you can do.


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## jamesd (Feb 17, 2011)

I have had this problem for the longest time. I seem to get a new crush every month. I don't know what's wrong with me. I just can't help crushing on cute girls.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

I say to myself, OK, this person is awesome, and cool, but they would never like me for me. It is sort of intuitive. After that I don't even bother to think about it anymore. It's real easy for me.


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## jamesd (Feb 17, 2011)

Colton said:


> For a year I crushed on this cute and popular hipster-ish girl who took my bus. I got over her by closing my eyes whenever she got on the bus and basically pretending she didn't exist.* It's all you can do.*


what about talking to her and maybe even grabbing a cup of coffee or a frozen yogurt?


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## Cole87 (Aug 15, 2011)

Yep done it before. It sucks but oh well.


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## Hiccups (Jul 15, 2011)

I think I have a good enough grasp on what is realistic, so I can have a crush and know it's never going to materialise.. it's just that... a fantasy. I'm not going to take it too seriously or lose sleep over it. That would be like repeatedly poking yourself in the eye :/


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

Been dealing with this for as long as I've been alive pretty much. I tend to aim high when it comes to crushing on girls, so this is almost always the inevitable result, considering the fact that I am me. I still have feelings for every crush I've ever had, at least the ones since I became an adult...just gotta bury them deep down inside. Really deep...like, at the bottom of your toes.


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## Colton (Jun 27, 2011)

jamesd said:


> what about talking to her and maybe even grabbing a cup of coffee or a frozen yogurt?


You're crazy!


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## jamesd (Feb 17, 2011)

Colton said:


> You're crazy!


Like a fox!

I think you would enjoy this thread:

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...st-better-to-admire-your-crush-from-a-139136/

It basically captures your thoughts.


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## Wirt (Jan 16, 2009)

i tend to let it drag too long because theres nothing to replace it with.

luckily mine's fading as time passed

or I'm lying to myself...i havent decided yet


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## i just want luv (Feb 13, 2011)

i lovvveedddddedededed Janet Jackson. Yeah hormones trip me up sometimes, one minute its a teacher next minute I see possiblities.


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## Elleire (Jul 24, 2011)

I fantasize the **** out of him until it gets boring.


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## lonely metalhead (Apr 22, 2011)

This always always happens I really ****ing hate it


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## hmnut (Aug 8, 2011)

I have had this happen to me more times than I care to count... oh I'm bored so let's count.... honestly I am 32 years old and I would say there have only been 5 girls who have had super crushes on... on paper that doesn't seem so bad.

However all of those crushes lasted over a year, one lasting over 6 years. The amount of time, money and personal sacrifice I have made to make those 4 women happy is sick, considering they would not even go out with me for a cup of coffee.

And I don't blame them (well maybe a little) the blame is with me. I tried to fulfill their every desire no matter how much it cost me because of my ****ed up self esteem. I only thought I had value if they thought I had value. So the more I did for them the more I felt they liked me, the more I felt like I was a worth wild person. 

If I spent half the time working on myself I would probably have a much better life today. 

Oh well... the only good thing is I have learned my lesson (or so I hope) and now when I have a crush on a girl I either ask her out or just move on right away. Loving her from a far or showering her with attention is unhealthy.

I think SA people probably do this because we are so desprate to connect with people but the SA makes it hard and we don't know the right ways to do it.


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## Perkins (Dec 14, 2010)

Well, the last crush I had on someone was when I was 19. And this happened online. I was crazy about him and he didn't reciprocate my feelings. It sooned dawned on me that this guy was the biggest douchebag I've ever encountered and I thought, You can do way better than this sack of ****. So I talked to him less and less and soon began ignoring his IMs and eventually blocked him. 

Point is, it's better to speak/see less and less of said person when you know nothing will materialize and do anything you can to distract yourself from said person.


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## Fantas Eyes (Mar 23, 2011)

I realize nothing will ever happen. Most of the time I will get over it. I say most of the time because there's one I haven't gotten over yet.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Every person I have liked I could never be with, because nobody would ever want to be with me. My longest unrequited crush lasted about 5 years, and it was absolutely humiliating. The worst part is when the person finds out and how disgusted they are that it's me. I never have hope that anything will come out of my liking that person, because there truly is no chance anything will happen.


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## jamesd (Feb 17, 2011)

5 years? That's just torture. The longest crush for me was 6 months and that was bad enough.


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## mysterioussoul (Jul 17, 2010)

i'm in this situation now. crushing on an acquaintance and it hurts. some days i can't get her out of my mind and some days i think i'm over her. at times i've deluded myself to believe that i might have a chance and she might be interested in me if she's gay and other times i'll beat myself up thinking yeah right like as if a girl like her will be interested in someone like me. i'm trying to get over her.


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## Aedan (Jul 21, 2011)

Well, I have a crush on this lithuanian girl... I don't know, I find her very attractive, interesting and funny. Maybe I really am solely attracted to those I cannot have !

But I'm so worried about her health status ! She must have some internal bleeding going on and probably some fractures, too, because she fell straight out of Heaven...


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## kelsomania (Oct 12, 2010)

I have a major crush on my boss. I could never be with him because: he is my boss, he is engaged, and he is 35 so I'm sure he views me as a little kid. :blush plus, he is way out of my league. 

How'd you deal with it? I try to avoid him and not let myself daydream about him.

how long did it last? a few weeks now

Once you realized all the obstacles, did you give up easily or keep the hope alive that just maybe something could come of it?... I like him but I have no hope anything would happen.


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## Dead Leaves (Aug 20, 2011)

Aedan said:


> Well, I have a crush on this lithuanian girl... I don't know, I find her very attractive, interesting and funny. Maybe I really am solely attracted to those I cannot have !
> 
> *But I'm so worried about her health status ! She must have some internal bleeding going on and probably some fractures, too, because she fell straight out of Heaven...*


I see you what you did there!

At first I was like :eek.

And then I was like:rofl.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

I hardly ever like anyone but...my crush right now is going on 5 years. It hurts a lot knowing I have zero chance and I've tried to get myself "over" it but no luck so far. I've pretty much accepted that it's not going to happen though... even if I can't help but think of that person every day.


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## Onomatopoeia (May 27, 2011)

tbyrfan said:


> Every person I have liked I could never be with, because nobody would ever want to be with me. My longest unrequited crush lasted about 5 years, and it was absolutely humiliating. The worst part is when the person finds out and how disgusted they are that it's me. I never have hope that anything will come out of my liking that person, because there truly is no chance anything will happen.


I had an unrequited crush for the entirety of my high school tenure (4+ years). It was hard on me and as you said, humiliating. I'm sorry you experienced the same thing.

I eventually messaged her years later...beyond our high school days. She said she was 'flattered' but by then, she had moved on to someone else. Wasted years accentuated...wasted years I will never have back.


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## jamesd (Feb 17, 2011)

Olazet91 said:


> I hardly ever like anyone but...my crush right now is going on 5 years. It hurts a lot knowing I have zero chance and I've tried to get myself "over" it but no luck so far. I've pretty much accepted that it's not going to happen though... even if I can't help but think of that person every day.


5 years? You and tbyrfan are real masochists.


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## thankyouberry (Aug 11, 2011)

Hm... yeah. The bad part is that they would never intentionally be mean to me or act like they don't like me. If I talked to them they would be nice and helpful, so I would have hope for a while. :|

I can't make myself not like someone, so I just have to wait it out and avoid meeting them. 

It seems like I crush on somebody new every year. They usually last a year, then after that I don't like them anymore or I've avoided them so much that there's not much to go crazy about. I don't go after them mostly because I think they're going to reject me. My external excuse is that they're too old or that I want to focus on my studies first. lol


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## Blue Bird (Jun 28, 2004)

I currently feel this way about my ex.  we broke up in June. I'm really want to move on, so I'm going to try not to talk to him.... I'll see how that goes


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## Elizabeth419 (Sep 9, 2010)

I've crushed on people I could've easily had, but my sa would never have allowed me to have. It happens.


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## Tommy5000 (Jun 18, 2011)

Out of sight...out of mind...I guess thats the best way to deal with a situation like this.


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## katling (Mar 3, 2011)

It's horrible when you like someone who doesn't even know you exist. But I think it's worse when you have a crush on someone who's already a close friend... this has happened to me once, it killed me I could never get up the nerve to confess my feelings.


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## rgrwng (Aug 25, 2011)

i crushed over a girl for 12 years, through highschool, but then i moved away before i could tell her. came over that after maybe a year, then crushed on a girl at work. she lost her job, was let go, and i hang out with her twice in 2 years, but she's career oriented, so i tell myself she needs to study and not worry about me stalking her.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Had a crush on a girl in high school for a year...my God that sucked.


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## mike285 (Aug 21, 2010)

Whenever I have a crush, it usually lasts a long time. I always feel the same way about it though; that I could never be with them.


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## shynesshellasucks (May 10, 2008)

I haven't had a crush in a long while. I don't see the point of obsessing over some random good looking girl, when there are a bunch of good looking girls going around.


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## Mr Blues (Apr 1, 2011)

Lost count of the amount of times it's happened.. and continues to do so.


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

Been there, bought the t-shirt, grew out of it.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

In high school I had a huge crush on this guy who I'd only talked to like, once. I obsessed over him for ages. Funny thing is, he recently asked me out and I was not interested at all. :lol Weird how life works.


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## rgrwng (Aug 25, 2011)

this happens to me many times before, and now. i get so focused on our non-existent relationship i get more depressed that i can never be with them that way, ever.


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## medicinmels (Jul 11, 2011)

This is the story of my life. Crushing on the unattainable guys. I just think about them a lot and have this whole vision in my head of us together...then his girlfriend or boyfriend walks up and I hate them both forever. Don't laugh but, I take it as a personal insult when I see my crush with someone else. I would never dream of breaking up a couple so I would never go after the person. It is hard though to sit back paralyzed with fear and expectations of rejection and not try to introduce yourself to someone you like.


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## fatelogic (Jun 21, 2011)

Maybe you can or maybe you can't, that is the question. I say it depends on your determination, for one. 


I have seen very beautiful females with ugly guys and I just wonder to myself why that is... (in Hollywood is mostly about status or money lol) though there is a very logical answer always. One being, beauty is not everything. Or beauty is very common... go to the poorest sides of town (poorer than yours) and you will always find a beautiful female. 


Just know your “limits”. IMO.


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