# Sobriety Sucks So Bad



## Brightpaperwarewolf (Oct 16, 2008)

Here we go, whining about quitting cannabis. I just didn't realize how much life sucks so more without it. Everything is starting to get clear and it sucks. I love being stoned, it helps me focus, helps me forget about the pain of everything, makes me feel at least a bit normal. However, if I don't quit, I go to jail. Yesterday I got put on probation and they want me attend anger management and get evaluated for substance abuse. I hate Virginia, a total waste of tax-payers fund considering I didn't get charged in any drug related crime, all this for assaulting my "brother." Little ******* of who used to be my brother snitched to them I smoke weed. Worst thing is he's a bigger pothead than I. Now I'm forced to drink and I don't even like drinking, but I need to feel something goddamn it.


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## deeds14 (Jul 9, 2009)

I heard that when you're a long-time marijuana smoker you actually start to need it to produce seratonin. It will take awhile for your body to adjust and start producing it on its own.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I'm not sure about your issues with violence but I have to say I often have moments where I really miss being high. Whether on marijuana or after a few drinks or both but overall it's better for me not to be, constant highs ended up making me more depressed not less. I do still enjoy drinks here & there though


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## Brightpaperwarewolf (Oct 16, 2008)

In a way it's a good thing for me because I been smoking way too much, to the point where I didn't want to be around anyone and I didn't feel much but anger inside of me anyway, even when I was high. I just find it ironic that because people heard the results, how I have to go through ****, a couple actually wanted to hang out with me and try to support me. I haven't hung out with anyone in a month, Man I don't get it, that when my best friend actually wants to hang out with me again because I am going sober, everything is so confusing. But it feels nice. . 

But whatever, I'm done with cannabis, I just have to get through, you are right, I was constantly depressed and angry, I just have to figure out how to handle all this stress in my life and get happiness back. Not be so afraid to open my mouth instead of resulting to my fists.


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## SourD (May 21, 2009)

I recently quit after 5 years of regular use. It really is hard, you feel like you've lost a best friend or something.. I dunno how to explain it, it just sucks. I quit a little over a month ago and now every time I sleep I either have nightmares or dreams where I get high. I don't crave it as bad during the day though, unless I hear a song or watch a movie about it. It's getting easier, as it of course will for you. But I have a very addictive personality, so I'm probably just being stubborn and holding on too much. 

I quit along side someone who is very close to me, and he's smoked for 30 years or so. We were both tempted to give up every day in the beginning, but I never let myself tell him this because I knew I had to support him. Without my support he wasn't motivated and wouldn't be able to do it. Now he doesn't crave it at all, he's fine with just being. I just see him as even more amazing now because he managed to give up something that he loved and depended on so much. 

My point is, it's hard at first obviously, but it does get easier and easier. More so for some people then others. If you ever need to talk or something feel free to hit me up, because I know exactly what you're going through. Take care =)


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

:squeeze

Hang in there... let you friends be there for you and keep coming back here to vent - whining is allowed - even welcomed if it helps.


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## Brightpaperwarewolf (Oct 16, 2008)

Well I made it through 1 full day of sobriety. I been up since 7:30 AM yesterday and despite all this alcohol I drank, I'm still widely alert. I haven't felt so awake in a long time and this fog I was in is starting to dissipate a little. Although I had some fun last night, went to a barbecue and enjoyed some good times. Other than that, I feel lethargic. I can't exercise hard as I use to. I enjoy being clear for one though, but despite that, god I want to smoke.


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

I'm the opposite. I don't have the capacity to smoke weed too much, and I imagine most people really don't. Alcohol, on the other hand, is very easy for me to get into. I like having a cold beer. I like knowing that there is beer in the fridge for whenever I might want to have one, even if it's 12 noon. I like having a beer with me when I'm out. It's my social crutch. I've been sober in bars before, too, and it was weird. Not drinking and having social anxiety, while everyone else is drinking, puts me back to where I started in a way. Not that I was ever completely comfortable when drunk, but I'm not sure how I ever managed through so many social situations without alcohol. At this point, though, it seems even one beer can bring about these weird feelings in my chest, so I really don't have many options. 

Anyway, I guess everyone is different. I don't think I've ever "abused" marijuana. It's just too difficult. The last thing I want to do is be uncomfortably high around people. I will watch TV, play guitar or go out in the woods and smoke weed, but I think my pothead days are long gone.


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## Mr. SandMan (Aug 24, 2007)

I don't understand why you want to drink even though you hate it...

Have you ever thought about getting help for your substance abuse?? To me it seems to be the biggest problem your facing...


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## Thomas Paine (Mar 29, 2008)

Well that sucks that you are being unconstitutionally forced to quit doing something that you enjoyed, but I've been there and I know it is hard, but not for very long.

Currently I am having to quit caffeine again and cut back slightly on klonopin, so I have been craving other things like pot again to relieve the pain and boredom, but I can't have any either. So I guess I am kind of in the boat with you. At least you're only dealing with pot withdrawal though. Caffeine and klonopin are far worse. So that is something to be thankful for.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

SourD said:


> I recently quit after 5 years of regular use. It really is hard, you feel like you've lost a best friend or something.. I dunno how to explain it, it just sucks.


When I quit smoking pot I found I had no physical withdrawal, however, it was always on my mind as it was a part of my thought pattern, e.i.

"I'll do this then smoke, then head here, maybe smoke with this person, then pick this up"

So when I stopped I did miss it but not feel I absolutely needed the high, it was taking it out of my thinking the troubled me most.



BeNice said:


> Anyway, I guess everyone is different. I don't think I've ever "abused" marijuana. It's just too difficult. The last thing I want to do is be uncomfortably high around people. I will watch TV, play guitar or go out in the woods and smoke weed, but I think my pothead days are long gone.


Toward the end of my smoking days pot actually made me very sketchy around people but when alone I loved it, to enjoy recording or listening to music, for movies, etc. That's one reason I knew my time was up, it was no longer a social activity for me & actually became a detriment to my social outings


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## Brightpaperwarewolf (Oct 16, 2008)

BeNice said:


> I'm the opposite. I don't have the capacity to smoke weed too much, and I imagine most people really don't. Alcohol, on the other hand, is very easy for me to get into. I like having a cold beer. I like knowing that there is beer in the fridge for whenever I might want to have one, even if it's 12 noon. I like having a beer with me when I'm out. It's my social crutch. I've been sober in bars before, too, and it was weird. Not drinking and having social anxiety, while everyone else is drinking, puts me back to where I started, in a way. Not that I was ever completely comfortable when drunk, but I'm not sure how I ever managed through so many social situations without alcohol. At this point, though, it seems even one beer can bring about these weird feelings in my chest, so I really don't have many options.
> 
> Anyway, I guess everyone is different. I don't think I've ever "abused" marijuana. It's just too difficult. The last thing I want to do is be uncomfortably high around people. I will watch TV, play guitar or go out in the woods and smoke weed, but I think my pothead days are long gone.


Ah yeah, total opposites in that regard! How's the no alcohol going? Do you smoke cigarettes? I have a friend who has this similar problem, he drinks a lot, smoke cigarettes and complains of chest pains. But that's great you are trying to kick it! And I don't feel so alone. It's not that I hate alcohol, sometimes it's nice as a social lubricant, so when I'm out with people, I try not to drink too much, I hate the way it put on calories, that's my main reason I don't like it, I like having a six-pack and low body fat and the calories from weed is 0.

My capacity for smoking weed is huge. I was getting to the point even during the weekdays, I blasted myself with 15-20 bowls a night and only the finest strains I can acquire, weekends, I can't even count. I can't have anything else, schwag, mids, KB, it does nothing for me. So I got high every night, but my tolerance was through the roof. It just was so routine to sit there and smoke bowls with everything I did, I studied high, I did everything high but work. It got to the point where all I cared about was my stash over people. It was a financial burden since I was so snobby about it and I had to buy large quantities.

I'm so bored right now and I don't even know how to deal with it. I'm almost tempted to just call up my guy and get more, but lucky, jail and keep my job are great incentives for not smoking. I been in the system before when I was a teenager and I use to tamper with drugs tests in order to pass. I'm just too old for doing that **** and torturing my bladder, flushing out my system with diuretics, taking Niacin, that stuff is nasty, I don't even want the stress to deal with it so quitting is better.


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## Thomas Paine (Mar 29, 2008)

SourD said:


> I recently quit after 5 years of regular use. It really is hard, you feel like you've lost a best friend or something.. I dunno how to explain it, it just sucks.


It really is a lot like breaking up with a long time girlfriend or boyfriend, and even the negative effects it has while you're using it (altering your perception, etc...) are basically what a girlfriend/boyfriend will do to you lol, which begs the question why they don't have PSA commercials warning people not to get hooked on dating.


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## kev (Jan 28, 2005)

I can relate, especially to the part about drinking in place of smoking. Oh, the hypocrisy. But that's another issue.

Regardless of what you may find online (there are varying points of view), I do believe that physical withdrawal can occur with cannabis. So you may just have to suffer through it for a while. I'd give advice but that would be hypocritical of me. I know how terrible that feeling is of being "sober" (lol) and there is probably nothing I could say to console you.

However, if you can fight through the withdrawal (I'd recommend quitting the alcohol as well), you may start to find yourself thinking to yourself "I don't need to drink" or "I don't need to smoke." It's not easy. You just kind of have to trudge through it.


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## Brightpaperwarewolf (Oct 16, 2008)

Being the dumbass I am, after 3 days of being clean, feeling anymore physical effects except intense nightmares, after feeling better and smarter, although constantly feeling bored, I light up again. I can't even think of the reason, except just a thought. I failed the drug test and I said you know since I'm dirty anyway...

Before I relapsed, I was eating pizza and drinking beers with the couple of friends that decided to hang out with me again. One of them said "after that incident happened, we all gave up on you." I can see why now and I simply shouldn't associate with anyone, all it would do is bring evil and contempt. 

It wasn't even worth doing again. All I feel is anxiety and paranoid.


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

Canadian Brotha said:


> Toward the end of my smoking days pot actually made me very sketchy around people but when alone I loved it, to enjoy recording or listening to music, for movies, etc. That's one reason I knew my time was up, it was no longer a social activity for me & actually became a detriment to my social outings


I never saw the reason for marijuana having to be a social thing. Not that I'm against it being a social thing, but I would always get irritated that people would come over my house and smoke all of my pot. Now that I don't hang out with a bunch of people anymore I get to keep it all to myself and it lasts a long time, and most importantly, I have it for when _I_ want to use it, not others.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

BeNice said:


> I never saw the reason for marijuana having to be a social thing. Not that I'm against it being a social thing, but I would always get irritated that people would come over my house and smoke all of my pot. Now that I don't hang out with a bunch of people anymore I get to keep it all to myself and it lasts a long time, and most importantly, I have it for when _I_ want to use it, not others.


I agree that just as people can have a few beers, some wine, or a glass of scotch alone so too can you enjoy marijuana alone. I often contemplate getting some every once in a while for my more contemplative days, it would be nice to enjoy a little when I meditate. I also agree that with people it really becomes something that's indulged in far more frequently whereas alone I could have some & not touch it for a while or simply smoke the tiniest amount just for a slight buzz & nothing more.


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## SFC1 (Sep 23, 2012)

*sobriety doesnt equal excitement for me either.*

Hey out there
I just thought this might help myself and others so i will try this out.
I now currently have about 522 days clean and sober. Longest ever and I am very "grateful."
I have been able to get alot done in this time for me. Lost 37 lbs. very fit.
quit smoking over a year now. Art work in my house. My own apartment and new-ish car. Set up well in all areas. With the exception of a social life.
I live in downtown SF City. TONS OF MEETINGS HERE!!!! Not making any relationships that equate to recieving calls to do fun things on weekend nights.
Meetings are only an hour; then coffee? That to me is boring. Id rather play pool in a bar. Or go to a club and listen to music. BUT I dont do that.
Instead I am soo bored most of the time I feel like a loser on the weekends with no friends. My closest friends are married with kids. I drive around nights hoping to find something fun to do. Last friday I spoke at a meeting then after it was like "Goodnight." And that was it. 830pm dressed up and nothing to do. In downtown San Francisco City. What The [email protected]*^! 
I am not unrealistic saying that sobriety just is not that exciting. But I get to live. I get to take my Mom to Church Sunday feeling good. Run12 miles. Help my Godson. Take my old dog for a swim instead of sweating in a nasty hotel room in the TL. 
In closing, if your bored like me; its not AA's fault. I have chosen to not use in order to have other benefits. If I wasnt getting those bonuses in life then I would probably wouldnt want to stay clean. Lets face it: It is exciting to use.
But with to steep a price for me. For now.


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## Billius (Aug 7, 2012)

try smoking lion tail, lotus flower or california poppy


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## baxman (Aug 18, 2012)

SFC1 has nailed it when it comes to sobriety, dealing with boredom, using the drugs and the excitement it brings.plus, for many of us, not only do drugs alleviate boredom and make us more content, they lessen anxiety which is a huge plus.drugs also make many of us more social and outgoing and i have found the hard truth, when im sober im just a very introverted asocial person.drugs allow me to somewhat enjoy socializing, but without them id rather be on my own.drugs can destroy you though but so can SA and boredom lol.ive been on this planet for 30 plus years and have yet to find a really effective drug that doesnt come with a ton of side effects.

marijuana must work great for others as it did little for me beside make me tired.if you want to avoid drug tests but still want a little buzz then go for something like neurontin.


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## GirlAnachronism (Sep 27, 2012)

deeds14 said:


> I heard that when you're a long-time marijuana smoker you actually start to need it to produce seratonin. It will take awhile for your body to adjust and start producing it on its own.


That is not true. Marijuana is in no way physically or chemically addictive like that. It makes your brain produce a bit of serotonin when you take it, but you don't NEED it in order to continue producing serotonin.


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## GirlAnachronism (Sep 27, 2012)

I smoke everyday, and I've recently had to take a tolerance break. I remember I use to get panic attacks on a daily basis, but hadn't gotten them in four years. Then I remembered that I've been smoking for most of the past four years. Now I'm getting panic attacks everyday again since I stopped smoking. Weed had really been helping my anxiety =/ Since then I've tried drinking sometimes, but it's not as good and I hate alcohol.. There are some herbs you can smoke in place of weed. My boyfriend sometimes rolls joints of different herbs to smoke when he's taking a break from smoking weed for awhile. I think some of them have some good calming effects. I'll try to find out what they are and post here.


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