# Are SA people more shallow?



## Fenren (Sep 20, 2009)

I've noticed on the forum a few males complaining they can't get a girlfriend or sex, that's fair enough. But then they say, one liked me but I wanted a hotter chick, how can I get at least an 8/10 ect and crap like that... Seems a really crappy shallow attitude basing everything on looks. But the girls seems shallow also, more so than non-SA girls with the stuff they come out with at times on here. So who agrees?


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

Well, I don't know. It depends on the person, it is hard to generalize it. But one thing I can tell you about the people with SA is that they are very indecisive and not ready for any changes.


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## i got this (Apr 25, 2013)

Fenren said:


> how can I get at least a 8/10 ect and crap like that


By learning social skills, developing am attractive personality, fashion sense and interesting hobbies involving other people and overcoming common obstacles that most people overcome with relative ease.



eveningbat said:


> It depends on the person, it is hard to generalize it


True


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## Fenren (Sep 20, 2009)

i got this said:


> By learning social skills, developing am attractive personality, fashion sense and interesting hobbies involving other people and overcoming common obstacles that most people overcome with relative ease.


Oh really, so every guy who fits that definition is dating models? I think not. How about finding someone who is great to chat to and likes you for you and looks are not the be all and end all? Some 3s to other people look like 10s to me, it's all BS man.

P.S Your name reminded me of a meme "chill the **** out - I got this this :teeth!


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## Twinkiesex (Apr 12, 2013)

How about we stop childishly grading women's looks with numbers?

Maybe that'll help push us in the right ****ing direction, no?


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Twinkiesex said:


> How about we stop childishly grading women's looks with numbers?
> 
> Maybe that'll help push us in the right ****ing direction, no?


+1.


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## Fenren (Sep 20, 2009)

Twinkiesex said:


> How about we stop childishly grading women's looks with numbers?
> 
> Maybe that'll help push us in the right ****ing direction, no?


Hey well I agree. but women rate guys looks out of 10 also!


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## i got this (Apr 25, 2013)

Fenren said:


> Oh really, so every guy who fits that definition is dating models?


Where was that said? Dishonest debate tactic alert :clap The infraction is rewording to absurdity to intentionally mischaracterize the assertion of an opposing point of view to illegitamately discredit. Its so common here with angry members that my espophugus (sp.) is filling with barf

Minimum requirements bro. That is all.

BTW most people want an attractive mate. It's biological partly, psychological partly and cultural partly The bio part is not shallow. It's nature at work. The psycho part (LOL) is excusable since so many don't have the ability to comprehend the motives of their own actions. The cultural part is shallow so you can be two thirds less pissed now.

Isn't that cool. HAHAHAHAHA :boogie

Oooooooooh Reeeeeeeealllllly? Chill pill time? Hugs man nuttin but huggs for ya

We can still be friends tho right?


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

I don't see how there could possibly any relationship between SA and shallowness.

You start if by saying that "a few" males have made these comments, and also say that the females here seem more shallow than non SA females. A few doesn't make up the entire population, and what that the females here say leads you to believe they are more shallow?


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## Chieve (Oct 9, 2012)

being a guy, i can be kind of shallow.

when looking for friends, im not shallow at all.

but when i am looking for someone to go out with or be more then friends with (who isnt currently my friend) i can be pretty shallow.

however, if I am already friends with the person, and I actually gotten close with them like this one girl (who i was close friends with and my only friend for 2 years) who i didnt find attractive at first ended up being a girl the perfect girl i wanted to go out with. to bad things happened where we never ended up dating :/


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## O Range (Feb 11, 2013)

Is there any relation between shallowness and SA?


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## Fenren (Sep 20, 2009)

Cam1 said:


> I don't see how there could possibly any relationship between SA and shallowness.
> 
> You start if by saying that "a few" males have made these comments, and also say that the females here seem more shallow than non SA females. A few doesn't make up the entire population, and what that the females here say leads you to believe they are more shallow?


From what I've read here and how girls have been from chatting with them. Also guys seems more shallow on the whole, at least in terms of looks but that is how it works. But the guys with SA and zero sexual/relationship experience who expect candice swanepoel to come knocking at their door, are being a tad unrealistic is all I mean. Plenty are good looking and do fine, especially if their SA isn't so severe. It depends where you live, class, wealth, opportunities ect. I'm not generalising anyone.


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## Fruitcake (Jan 19, 2012)

I never used to be shallow when I had anxiety but then I became sociable and dated a 10 and now I've realised that being with freakishly beautiful men is the only thing that matters.


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## Astrofreak6 (Mar 30, 2013)

I don't know what to choose in this poll. I don't consider myself a shallow person. As for the rest of the members here I don't know them personally so.. yeah.. i couldn't know


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## Fenren (Sep 20, 2009)

Fruitcake said:


> I never used to be shallow when I had anxiety but then I became sociable and dated a 10 and now I've realised that being with freakishly beautiful men is the only thing that matters.


Haha ok I sense some sarcasm, but maybe you're serious, hey good for you either way!


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## Squirrelevant (Jul 27, 2008)

i got this said:


> Isn't that cool. HAHAHAHAHA :boogie
> 
> Oooooooooh Reeeeeeeealllllly? Chill pill time? Hugs man nuttin but huggs for ya
> 
> We can still be friends tho right?


Are you sure he's the one who needs a chill pill? You're sounding rather unhinged yourself right now.


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## i got this (Apr 25, 2013)

pointy said:


> Are you sure he's the one who needs a chill pill? You're sounding rather unhinged yourself right now.


I am over sensitive to coffee. Do you have one you can spare?


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Fruitcake said:


> I never used to be shallow when I had anxiety but then I became sociable and dated a 10 and now I've realised that being with freakishly beautiful men is the only thing that matters.












... lol


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

I'm a guy and I don't think there really is a difference, so I picked the last option.


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## Fenren (Sep 20, 2009)

Milco said:


> I'm a guy and I don't think there really is a difference, so I picked the last option.


Okay fine, I still love your beer.........and bacon!


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I think SAS girls are less superficial. It is only when the anger and frustration kick in that it becomes an issue - and the guy do the same thing.

I have to look underneath the SA. There, everybody's pretty cool.


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## Fenren (Sep 20, 2009)

millenniumman75 said:


> I think SAS girls are less superficial. It is only when the anger and frustration kick in that it becomes an issue - and the guy do the same thing.
> 
> I have to look underneath the SA. There, everybody's pretty cool.


I didn't factor in the added frustration and anger aspect, that's a good point really. Many SA girls counter the awful posts and threads many males make, so it seems worse than it is in reality most probably.


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## Fenren (Sep 20, 2009)

This poll hasn't turned out like I'd hoped!


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## Implicate (Feb 1, 2011)

If the people here were not so judgmental and superficial there would be a much lower rate of truly anxious people.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

It might be because the average age on SAS is 16-23. That's when people get obsessed with appearance. And quite a few of the older ones have stunted personalities from being isolated for a long time.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

Idk. It's true for me I guess. I'm picky about a lot of things and looks is one of them.


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## AlchemyFire (Mar 4, 2013)

Same as the rest of the population. Some are shallow, some aren't.


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## Secretly Pretentious (Dec 18, 2011)

I honestly don't think there's a correlation between social anxiety and shallowness. I see plenty of shallow posts from both genders here. I also see plenty of shallow displays from extroverts.

I also think komorikun's post is worth taking into consideration.



komorikun said:


> It might be because the average age on SAS is 16-23. That's when people get obsessed with appearance. And quite a few of the older ones have stunted personalities from being isolated for a long time.


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

where's the im a guy think sa guys are more shallow option. anyway i think i will do the opposite of everything my instinct tells me to do


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## DeniseAfterAll (Jul 28, 2012)

What about the options . . just as capable of being shallow as everybody else?


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

I've never seen people so fixated on rating people until I joined this forum. I can't even recall anyone irl doing it, much less myself. That says something, perhaps.


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## DeniseAfterAll (Jul 28, 2012)

probably offline said:


> I've never seen people so fixated on rating people until I joined this forum. I can't even recall anyone irl doing it, much less myself. That says something, perhaps.


lol . Sad but true


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## IllmaticJJ (Dec 29, 2013)

I think because we don't get to know people as well as others that we are more likely to judge by physical appearance. Often times the only thing we know about others is how they look because we never talk with them or get to know them


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## Crimson Lotus (Jul 26, 2013)

Based on my years of experience in this, and a couple of other SA related forums, I'm going to have to say: absolutely yes.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

IllmaticJJ said:


> I think because we don't get to know people as well as others that we are more likely to judge by physical appearance. Often times the only thing we know about others is how they look because we never talk with them or get to know them


That could be true. The more you talk with people the more you see how complicated people are and how initial pre-judgements are often wrong.


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## AceEmoKid (Apr 27, 2012)

We seem to be an extremely self conscious population. However, I'm not sure if being self conscious and being superficial is the same thing.

Take appearance threads, for instance, in which a user will post a bunch of photos of themselves asking whether of not they are ugly, weird looking, etc. There are some who make those types of threads out of genuine self consciousness, while other make them to fish for compliments, well aware of their attractiveness. I think, the majority of the time, posters on SAS genuinely are self conscious and think poorly of their appearance. 

In any case, they are necessarily superficial -- to be self conscious, one must be concerned by the same aspects that they are criticized for, i.e. physical appearance. However, my definition of "superficial" may be different than others. I think of superficial as strictly being preoccupied with something apparent/physically manifested, whereas other may have a more connotative definition that adds on to say it is someone who had high self confidence in what they are preoccupied with.


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## Raeden (Feb 8, 2013)

Ouch. Almost 50% of the respondents voted that OP should stick his head in an over.


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## singlet (Feb 28, 2016)

SA people are as shallow as everyone else. I learnt that the hard way.


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## Hayman (Dec 27, 2014)

I think both sexes with SA are less shallow than regular people. Why? They're already pretty much at the bottom and have always had to 'look up' to regular people who put themselves up on pedestals. The more progressions they make, the more they look down upon you. We know how horrible that feels and as a result, are more sensitive to other people and in a lot of cases, would rather stay quiet than upset others... 

As regular people have never had to face our indignity over no relationships, long-term virginity e.t.c, they'll never know how utterly demeaning and demoralising this can be for a person - regardless if they're male or female. Instead, they'll be pedantic and often condescending to our plight. Those with SA would rather not comment on such matters if they do manage to stumble across a scrap of comfort from somewhere (well, most I've come across on here anyway...).


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

Lol, old thread. Reading the very detailed and long list of mandatory physical traits that the women on here are just so ****ing eager to post as much as they can and wherever they can is depressing.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I find people here more annoying than in real life for some reason, for the most part anyway, but people in real life aren't spouting what they actually think all the time. I'm sure most Humans are awful lol, dunno about shallow specifically.


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

Probably more insecure than shallow. Being insecure might encourage them to overcompensate by being more concerned with the social implications of looks rather than personal attraction. Some guys might be afraid of feeling worse about themselves if people make fun of them AND their new girlfriend...

Depends on what you mean by shallow, of course. I mean, I guess viewing your partner as a source of esteem can be shallow, in a sense, but some guys might have "lower" standards if they were more confident. Whereas some people are shallow because they are either simple minded or too confident.

Then again, a person shouldn't force a relationship if there is lust for other people. In some cases, it's only sensible.


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

Less shallow girls? Yeah. I mean, everyone here still has their normalcy predilections and things. On the mental illness front, people here seem to care less if you're weird.

So I guess I'd say ever so slightly less shallow. Though it depends on the person. Lot of cool people on here. Lot of stubborn people. Lot of straight up a-holes. But it's about the same in the real world.


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## Rains (Jan 20, 2016)

Yeah they probably are (more shallow). I think because a lot are psychiatric cases, with personality disorders, empathy problems and just all round emotional immaturity.


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