# I beat my depression and anxiety



## Ghossts (Mar 6, 2014)

Yes it's true. I finally beat it. I'm just so happy to be free of it. The feeling is amazing, to be unconditionally happy for once in my life. I am able to be myself again. 

Some background though. I was depressed and anxious since I was 12 (I'm 26 now) but I didn't know what I had until I was 17, and even then I didn't do anything about it for another 4 years. I always felt inferior to other people. I didn't think I was good looking enough, smart enough or funny enough. I was terrible at talking to people. I used to be afraid of any interactions but beat myself up for being scared. The last couple years with my depression and anxiety were the worst. I was suicidal, wanted to kill myself everyday. I almost did. I went to a bridge and wanted to jump. But something told me not to. Thank God I didn't. I tried medication but that didn't help. I was seeing a psychologist for about a year too. The other thing was what i expected myself to become. What i thought overcoming anxiety and depression really meant. I hated myself because of what I thought of myself compared to others. Ugly, boring, unfunny etc. I wanted to become funny, handsome, buff and interesting to talk to. So that in some cases I could blend in and be normal but also stand out if I liked someone. I would go out with some friends to nightclubs and see if some girl would like me. I felt alone and wanted someone to like me and doing this (as extreme as it sounds) was to me the best way. 

I did go out on one Tuesday night in February last year. I was talking to a girl and asked her if she liked the music. She said she hated it (both times I asked). At that point I realised something: Why am I trying to impress people who don't care about me? The thought was incredible. It changed everything. Over the next few days I started to feel so much better. I hadn't felt like this since I could remember. All because I realised that I was way too focused on what people thought of me. I didn't do the things I wanted to do and didn't think of myself at all until this happened. All of a sudden the incredible urge to want to combat my loneliness faded away. I was happy with myself. I loved myself. I didn't have to validate myself by trying to be friends with everyone I saw. I wasn't nervous around people. And I accepted all my flaws. I'm not the most handsome guy or smartest or funniest. I'm still terrible at talking. But I am me. And I'm still learning as long as I'm alive. If someone doesn't like me, that's not gonna stop me from living my life. I also stopped being so judgmental. For me, my insecurities would make me so jealous of others but not anymore. 

I'm just so happy. I'm going to go to the states on a holiday by myself. I still go clubbing but to the clubs I want to go to, and to listen to the music (I am a huge electronic music lover). I hope that this story helps. Ask any questions you want and I hope the best for everyone in their recovery. 

Oh and forgive any mistakes. Wrote this on my phone.


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## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

Wow! Congratulations on overcoming your depression and anxiety: D This is inspirational. Keep goimg at it 
I am so happy for you:squeeze

_SPIRITO BAMBITO_


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## Ghossts (Mar 6, 2014)

Fun Spirit said:


> Wow! Congratulations on overcoming your depression and anxiety: D This is inspirational. Keep goimg at it
> I am so happy for you:squeeze
> 
> _SPIRITO BAMBITO_


Thank you! It was a very long journey but anyone can beat it. It's incredibly difficult but everything worthwhile is.


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## PythonMom (Mar 14, 2019)

Sweetness and congrats! Your revelation sounds incredible. 🙂


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## sibil (Mar 5, 2019)

Do you go to clubs alone? How do you do with the anxiety?


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## toouncoolforschool (Jun 6, 2018)

Thanks for sharing your story. That's a really good way to think about social anxiety.


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## boswell1967 (Mar 25, 2019)

Hello there from California! Your story is fantastic to read and I can totally relate to the depression and anxieties that you went through. They are our tribulations!!! We share them and we need to share them in order for others to realize that they are not alone. Honestly this was so well written I encourage you to write short stories about this or something that is in creative writing. I am also beating my anxieties and depression daily and a constant reminder is my faith 
Are you not taking any medications anymore? I micro dose cannabis oil to manage my symptoms of anxiety and depression. I am not smoking a joint 24/7
I use my tinctures when I know that there is a symptom that is popping up.


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## bassmaster (Jul 15, 2018)

You just never had it. There's no way anyone with real social anxiety can just snap out of it like that.


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## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

Do you work for a living? That's one of the most difficult things for people with SAD.


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## donistired (Nov 29, 2018)

bassmaster said:


> You just never had it. There's no way anyone with real social anxiety can just snap out of it like that.


Don't presume that. There is absolutely no reason to. Frankly, you wouldn't know what this persons been through. The question of the "reality" of a mental illness can be hurtful to someone, both to people who are going through it and to people who have recovered.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

@Ghossts Congratulations for you, I personally know how depression can be so I know the pain and struggle you went through. You totally deserve this newer, and happier, life ahead of you. Wish I could do the same though, but I'm still stuck.


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## Ghossts (Mar 6, 2014)

sibil said:


> Do you go to clubs alone? How do you do with the anxiety?


I was tired of living my life wondering what others thought. I make mistakes, sure, who doesn't? People may not like me. Okay so what? Why care about someone who doesn't care about you? You don't owe them anything. I can talk to anyone anywhere, it doesn't phase me because if they hold a grudge or continuously think I am weird, it's not really my problem. I love music so much so I ain't gonna let people keep me from doing what I love which is to hear electronic music on big big speakers lol


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## Ghossts (Mar 6, 2014)

EarthDominator said:


> @Ghossts Congratulations for you, I personally know how depression can be so I know the pain and struggle you went through. You totally deserve this newer, and happier, life ahead of you. Wish I could do the same though, but I'm still stuck.


Thanks man, you totally can! Everyone going through these issues can get better, but I can't give you any miraculous advice since everyone has different issues and thus will have a different solution. All I can say is keep on keeping on! 



bassmaster said:


> You just never had it. There's no way anyone with real social anxiety can just snap out of it like that.


Soooo we should all just give up? No, it is possible to get out of it. ANYONE can, even you. I had severe anxiety and depression, wanted to kill myself many times and almost succeeded. I couldn't leave the house unless someone came with me and even then it was super scary. Look, I'm not gonna prove my issues to you, and I'm not gonna berate you for your comment. Because I can understand your position. Just know it will get better, just don't lose hope.



Maslow said:


> Do you work for a living? That's one of the most difficult things for people with SAD.


I do work for a living. Not a great job, just at a warehouse. I'm just happy for once so I don't really care lol.


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## Ghossts (Mar 6, 2014)

boswell1967 said:


> Hello there from California! Your story is fantastic to read and I can totally relate to the depression and anxieties that you went through. They are our tribulations!!! We share them and we need to share them in order for others to realize that they are not alone. Honestly this was so well written I encourage you to write short stories about this or something that is in creative writing. I am also beating my anxieties and depression daily and a constant reminder is my faith
> Are you not taking any medications anymore? I micro dose cannabis oil to manage my symptoms of anxiety and depression. I am not smoking a joint 24/7
> I use my tinctures when I know that there is a symptom that is popping up.





PythonMom said:


> Sweetness and congrats! Your revelation sounds incredible. &#128578;





toouncoolforschool said:


> Thanks for sharing your story. That's a really good way to think about social anxiety.


Thanks you guys! Hopefully it becomes a very common story for all of us, where we all can beat it and live the lives we want to!

I am not taking any medication, and at the time I got better I was off it too. It didn't work for me and all I got was side effects even though I took them for a while, tried different ones etc. BUT remember everyone is different. I don't want people to stop taking it just because it didn't work for me. Just so happened that this was how I got better. And I have tried to write scripts before but I need a lot of practice. Just so happens that my ideas are all about anxiety and depression so that helps  I use my past as inspiration.


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## rabidfoxes (Apr 17, 2016)

Ghossts said:


> No, it is possible to get out of it. ANYONE can, even you.


I also thought the comment doubting your previous illness was rude and just plain wrong, but I am not sure about this line in your response. Because...



Ghossts said:


> remember everyone is different.


We have different life stories and genetic predispositions. I don't think we can say that anyone can be cured, because many people don't get better. And it would be wrong to claim that it's because they aren't trying hard enough. You know what I mean?

It's great that you got better though, I really enjoyed your story and its final image of you having an awesome time surrounded by big big speakers. Keep it up!


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## Ghossts (Mar 6, 2014)

rabidfoxes said:


> I also thought the comment doubting your previous illness was rude and just plain wrong, but I am not sure about this line in your response. Because...
> 
> We have different life stories and genetic predispositions. I don't think we can say that anyone can be cured, because many people don't get better. And it would be wrong to claim that it's because they aren't trying hard enough. You know what I mean?
> 
> It's great that you got better though, I really enjoyed your story and its final image of you having an awesome time surrounded by big big speakers. Keep it up!


Every problem has a solution is all I'm saying. You won't get better if you think you can't. It takes time though. Took me 13 years. And I honestly thought I couldn't be cured. I just realised that my goals were soooo wrong. It took a change of perspective for me to realise what I had to do and I got better.

But yeah I ain't forcing my ideas or beliefs on anyone. Just staying positive. Everyone definitely is different. So they have different solutions. The one thing I can say though is hold on to hope. The answer may not be obvious at first or might not appear to you now but it can. As long as we keep working on it.

ALSO I wish there were more services and transparency for people with SA, depression etc. Just doesn't seem like there is enough (not where I live anyway).


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

Ghossts said:


> Thanks man, you totally can! Everyone going through these issues can get better, but I can't give you any miraculous advice since everyone has different issues and thus will have a different solution. All I can say is keep on keeping on!


No problem, although I'm not so sure about myself. At least not in the current situation I'm in. I'm trying my best, but sometimes even that doesn't seem like doing enough. But thank you either way.


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## giovanniiiii (May 22, 2019)

It's a long road and frustrating one when it comes to overcoming anxiety and depression yet you did it! Always remember if you're feeling down at times, bad times are just times... that are bad


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