# Moving in with friends..



## Zevinja (Mar 15, 2011)

So here's a little background (I promise I'll make it as brief as possible). I started at the university last year, and lived in the dorms. I didn't have much luck with a roommate since they were either always gone or just didn't match me. But I did have fun with the girls on my floor. Where I messed up, though, was that I spent way more time with my boyfriend, who lived just one building over. I did almost everything with him and the friends he made from his floor. I broke up with him about 2 months before the school year ended, and despite not being too incredibly close to the girls on my floor, they were all there for me and tried to keep me happy during such a rough time for me. The rest of the year I hung out with them a lot and I loved it. I had never been a super social person, so this sort of made me realize what I've missed out on.

So once school ended and everyone went back home or moved away, I just went back to being a hermit in my parents' house. I was actually pretty content with this, reconnected with a couple high school friends but for the most part just stayed in. I started getting really upset the last couple months, though, because I realized I didn't really have many friends and that almost everyone I knew had their own place/weren't living with their parents. I started talking to my best friend and for months we planned to get a place together, but time after time plans didn't work out and I was still stuck at home. I finally told my mom how I felt being at home and she got me a room on campus so I could at least get out of the house. I thought maybe I'd meet some people the way I did on my floor last year, but it turns out most of the people here don't socialize with each other. So again I started working hard to figure out a place to live after this semester so I can branch out again.

Two of my friends from the floor last year have a place together and since a roommate is moving out, they posted something on facebook saying they needed someone to take their place. I haven't talked to either of them aside from a few facebook comments since we moved out of the dorms last year, so I felt awkward asking if I could take the spot, but she responded excitedly and said they would save the room for me to take when I move out of the dorms. I immediately felt so relieved and happy that I was going to get to reconnect with these girls, since I loved being around them at the dorms. However, this feeling was short-lived...

Now I'm just worried, because they are both nice social girls who are more outgoing and fun than I am, with more clothes and pictures and things that typical girls my age have than I do. I'm worried that once I move in this will become apparent and they will see me as an outcast. In the dorms I could hide these things much easier, but now that they have a house I'm moving into with them I'm scared that they'll notice I don't have many friends or things. I also don't want my anxiety to kick in around them and have them feel awkward about it. The rational part of my mind is trying to look at the positives, and remind myself that they are nice girls that I'd have a great time living with, but my anxiety keeps kicking in and making me think of all the things that could go wrong.

I guess I'm just looking for some advice on how to overcome this feeling or what I could do to make myself more comfortable with the decision...


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## LeftyFretz (Feb 12, 2011)

Well you said it, your anxiety is kicking in and you are just focusing on the things that can go wrong. 

They obviously like you and went out of their way to save a room for you. I say just move in and give it a try. It's either that or be at home. It may be a mental risk but as I've lived on more and more through our little "disadvantage in life" is that there are a lot more accepting people out there than I thought. Just stay genuine and use their outgoing personalities to gain some confidence and build friendships beyond your roommates as well. You even said you loved being around them at the dorms. Like anyone moving in with people, that may change a little bit but you won't be alone. 

Post what your decision is and keep us updated on how it goes along the way.


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## Zevinja (Mar 15, 2011)

Thanks, that's definitely how I should be looking at it. I've decided as long as they still want me to move in when the time comes, I'm going to do it. From the past I know I tend to overthink these sorts of situations and worry when I really don't need to, but even when I remind myself of that I still have a bit of anxiety until I just do it and PROVE that I don't need to worry. More often than not, I look back and think my worries were just silly.


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## LeftyFretz (Feb 12, 2011)

Zevinja said:


> More often than not, I look back and think my worries were just silly.


Bingo.


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