# Getting married to a fat girl....what should I do?



## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

Read this first to understand thread : I don't think I EVER wud get married to a fat girl...u know obese..... 

I like a girl who is BIG.Ok, we haven't met yet...yea, i've posted about her b4.....she is starting to like me alot, and has told me she wants to have my baby.....I believe the point of dating is to see if marrying the other person wud be wise.Well....i don't see her as someone I wud ever get married to given her being BIG. I'm a bodybuilder and a personal trainer too........ 
I feel kinda down though cos I like her personality alot.I think she's pretty, but it's the posible health problems that she could have if she doesn't lose weight that turns me OFF.
What should I do?


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## pukehappyness (Dec 5, 2012)

Yeah I would talk to her about it. And being a personal trainer, get her in shape!


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## UndreamingAwake (Apr 11, 2011)

Though I wouldn't say something like weight is a "turn off" for me in and of itself, I totally get what you mean about the concern you have for her health. The thing is, if you tell her about your concerns, she might interpret it as you thinking she's not attractive, which, from what I gather, is not the case. I'd talk to her about it, because i'm sure she herself is aware of the risks, but don't be too blunt about it. And I agree with the other poster; offer to help her, seeing as how that's something you do for a living.


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## Raphael200 (Aug 18, 2012)

U two should train together .

That will probably motivate her even more to lose weight and become healthier .


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

Sin said:


> talk to her about it? just be honest about how you feel


Good, advice, I appreciate it.


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

Metalunatic said:


> Though I wouldn't say something like weight is a "turn off" for me in and of itself, I totally get what you mean about the concern you have for her health. The thing is, if you tell her about your concerns, she might interpret it as you thinking she's not attractive, which, from what I gather, is not the case. I'd talk to her about it, because i'm sure she herself is aware of the risks, but don't be too blunt about it. And I agree with the other poster; offer to help her, seeing as how that's something you do for a living.


Yea, ur right...and, she knows I think she's very attractive....i do need to word it just right though.


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## James_Russell (Aug 26, 2011)

> We haven't met yet...she is starting to like me alot, and has told me she wants to have my baby


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

a pers0n said:


>


Are u trolling me? Cos, I just sincerely wanted advice.....


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## thisismeyo (Feb 15, 2013)

well i would try and talk with her how you feel. let her know that u think she's pretty and you like her personality and why u like her, because weight can be such a sensitive topic. but if it is bothering you, you gotta talk about it with her


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

I would suggest you ask her out on a date before deciding whether or not she is worthy of marrying. You're looking a bit too far ahead. 


Also, I don't think she literally wants to have your baby. It was probably a way of her complimenting you.


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## James_Russell (Aug 26, 2011)

the collector said:


> Are u trolling me? Cos, I just sincerely wanted advice.....


No, talking about having babies with somebody you have never met is 100% cray


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## Nibbler (Nov 5, 2010)

why not personal train her *** in to shape?!


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

Cam1 said:


> I would suggest you ask her out on a date before deciding whether or not she is worthy of marrying. You're looking a bit too far ahead.
> 
> Also, I don't think she literally wants to have your baby. It was probably a way of her complimenting you.


Well she told me she's serious about wanting to have my baby...personally I think it's just over emotional talk...

And about marriage....well yea u make a good point.But, I think this girl is really special already.I can talk to her about anything and she feels the same about me....so just based on that it's hard not to look at her as having "potential" to be a future wife...but, her weight destroys that potential....


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

a pers0n said:


> No, talking about having babies with somebody you have never met is 100% cray


I agree...but, she is 27 and is prolly worried about her biological clock ticking away...$h¡t....so am I.....


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

the collector said:


> Well she told me she's serious about wanting to have my baby...personally I think it's just over emotional talk...
> 
> And about marriage....well yea u make a good point.But, I think this girl is really special already.I can talk to her about anything and she feels the same about me....so just based on that it's hard not to look at her as having "potential" to be a future wife...but, her weight destroys that potential....


You seem to like her a lot, hopefully you can come to look past her weight. You make it sound like you're very happy around her. You guys haven't gone out on a date yet though, have you? I'd suggest doing this before eliminating the possibility of being with her.


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

thisismeyo said:


> well i would try and talk with her how you feel. let her know that u think she's pretty and you like her personality and why u like her, because weight can be such a sensitive topic. but if it is bothering you, you gotta talk about it with her


Yea, just told her how I feel..letting her know that i'm attracted to her looks...and just that I'm worried about wat cud happen to her health if she doesn't lose weight....etc..i was tactful...
Well, she told me tp give her a min to think...and that she's hurt....


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## kast (Nov 22, 2012)

Ok, her appearance is totally irrelevant in this case because there's so many red flags in this situation. Even if she were Aphrodite reincarnated with three breasts, you still shouldn't marry her.

* You haven't met her. Yeah internet relationships could work if they're taken into real life so you can actually get to know the person properly, but you shouldn't even be thinking about a committed girlfriend/boyfriend thing without at least one date/meet-up, so marriage should definitely be out of the question. So meet her, go on some dates with her, have a long-term committed relationship, move closer to each other (are you at least in the same state?), and maybe think about babies & marriage in a few years if things are still going well.

* If you're getting married to someone, it should be clear on both sides that there is some serious love, trust, and friendship going on there. Not "she's starting to like me and I like her". Filing a divorce is a lot of hassle.

* She wants you to have her baby (and have you support her and the baby financially 100% for the rest of your life). How long have you been talking to this girl? Run far, far away.


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

You haven't met her but you are getting married to her? and she wants to have your baby? 
This is not going to turn out well you know.


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## Daveyboy (Jan 13, 2013)

the collector said:


> and just that I'm worried about wat cud happen to her health if she doesn't lose weight.... ....


Yea the whole "I'm worried about your health thing...." Not buying it.. I'm sure she doesn't...


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

THis just all sounds like a massive mistake. Take things slowly, meet, get to know the person irl properly and only then if you click and fall in love, consider marriage and kids.


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

Daveyboy said:


> Yea the whole "I'm worried about your health thing...." Not buying it.. I'm sure she doesn't...


Smdh, seriously man.SMDH.Go buy me sum beer than....SMDH.


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

kast said:


> Ok, her appearance is totally irrelevant in this case because there's so many red flags in this situation. Even if she were Aphrodite reincarnated with three breasts, you still shouldn't marry her.
> 
> * You haven't met her. Yeah internet relationships could work if they're taken into real life so you can actually get to know the person properly, but you shouldn't even be thinking about a committed girlfriend/boyfriend thing without at least one date/meet-up, so marriage should definitely be out of the question. So meet her, go on some dates with her, have a long-term committed relationship, move closer to each other (are you at least in the same state?), and maybe think about babies & marriage in a few years if things are still going well.
> 
> ...


I didn't say I WANT to marry her.I was just saying that becos of the potential health problems of obesity, I don't think I ever wud marry her...thus their being no point in us ever becoming a "couple".This even though I like her a lot.Look I had an obese cousin and aunt...they had a lot of health problems cos of it......they both died within the past 6 years...


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## Daveyboy (Jan 13, 2013)

the collector said:


> Smdh, seriously man.SMDH.Go buy me sum beer than....SMDH.


Oh please.....If you're going to be a dad you better start watching your language...


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

Daveyboy said:


> Yea the whole "I'm worried about your health thing...." Not buying it.. I'm sure she doesn't...


On second thought buy me sum gin! SMGDMFH! N not that cheap $hi¡t!


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## Daveyboy (Jan 13, 2013)




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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

Daveyboy said:


>


: p


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## christ~in~me (Dec 18, 2008)

RUN!...ok just kidding but seriously? marriage? you dont even know her. Take a step back and get to know her,maybe offer her a few personal training sessions??


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

christ~in~me said:


> RUN!...ok just kidding but seriously? marriage? you dont even know her. Take a step back and get to know her,maybe offer her a few personal training sessions??


Look, I didn't say I wanna marry her.
But, to me the point of dating is to see if a person wud be a good marriage mate.....

So, i'm questioning whether I shud ever be more than friends with her....

n sup wit ur name....ur into the christ???


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

Nibbler said:


> why not personal train her *** in to shape?!


if she wanted to lose weight and ur pressuring her into anyhing... going to the gym together could be a cool thing to do as a couple but i highly suggest datign for at least a yr or two before u decide to marry someone... thats a life altering decision and should be treated like one


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## Isabelle50 (Nov 19, 2012)

pukehappyness said:


> Yeah I would talk to her about it. And being a personal trainer, get her in shape!


This is the worst POSSIBLE advice in this situation (sorry dude). Do _not_ talk to a girl you haven't even gone out with about why she is too fat to marry. You idiot!!!!

I agree the whole baby talk is creepy and way over the top but if OP is into it then.... okay? Just, slow things up a bit (a _lot_). Go on a date and see what your chemistry is like in person (and whether you are attracted to her). If you're not attracted to her because she's big do not tell her to lose weight. She is who she is and you're either down with that or you aren't. Her body her choice.

But first go on a date. Then go on many more dates. Then decide if you two should get married and if you do, then maybe its okay to mention the weight gently and courteously.


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## christ~in~me (Dec 18, 2008)

Hey hey dont judge me Mr. im just offering my advice. It's completely up to you if you want to be more than friends with her but its kinda early to determine whether or not you should marry her,just date her and hang with her for a while,im sure time will give you your answer


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

.


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

Isabelle50 said:


> This is the worst POSSIBLE advice in this situation (sorry dude). Do _not_ talk to a girl you haven't even gone out with about why she is too fat to marry. You idiot!!!!
> 
> I agree the whole baby talk is creepy and way over the top but if OP is into it then.... okay? Just, slow things up a bit (a _lot_). Go on a date and see what your chemistry is like in person (and whether you are attracted to her). If you're not attracted to her because she's big do not tell her to lose weight. She is who she is and you're either down with that or you aren't. Her body her choice.
> 
> But first go on a date. Then go on many more dates. Then decide if you two should get married and if you do, then maybe its okay to mention the weight gently and courteously.



U peeps aren't getting me....i didn't say i'm thinking of marrying her....
N u isabella..u called me an idiot.  u've always been so nice n the past....


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

christ~in~me said:


> Hey hey dont judge me Mr. im just offering my advice. It's completely up to you if you want to be more than friends with her but its kinda early to determine whether or not you should marry her,just date her and hang with her for a while,im sure time will give you your answer


I'm not judging u....
It's just that theres no point in dating someone I wud NEVER get married to....


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## Isabelle50 (Nov 19, 2012)

the collector said:


> U peeps aren't getting me....i didn't say i'm thinking of marrying her....
> N u isabella..u called me an idiot.  u've always been so nice n the past....


No I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I'm sorry.

But really, don't talk to her about her weight. It will make her so ashamed you really have no idea. Its her body. If you don't like it then you shouldn't date her.


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

Isabelle50 said:


> No I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I'm sorry.
> 
> But really, don't talk to her about her weight. It will make her so ashamed you really have no idea. Its her body. If you don't like it then you shouldn't date her.


No isabella, I actually do like her body.I am attracted to girls of diff shapes n sizes.I'm attracted to big girls.It's just that to me it's not right to date someone if u think u wud NEVER get married to them.And, I wud never get married to an obese woman cos I don't want to have to deal with the health problems she'll have later on in life......so even though I like this girl alot i'm thinking we should just be friends....and NEVER get serious....

I don't wanna lead her on.....


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## christ~in~me (Dec 18, 2008)

the collector said:


> I'm not judging u....
> It's just that theres no point in dating someone I wud NEVER get married to....


Then its settled


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

christ~in~me said:


> Then its settled


True...but, it still hurts....cos i'm extremely fond of her....


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## dassad (May 13, 2012)

Reading through the thread you say that you feel like you can talk about anything with her, so tell her what you've been saying. Tell her that you really like/love her personality, but the main thing standing between you and her is her weight. Tell her that you don't feel comfortable dating, and maybe marrying someone who doesn't take care of herself physically due to health problems that will arise down the line. If you handle this maturely and with a modicum of sensitivity than it should go okay. And if you two can't compromise over this, then you have your answer and you guys should part ways.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Most big women would die to lose that kind of weight so talk her about it.


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## General Specific (Mar 4, 2008)

Forget about her weight for a minute. You're wanting to marry somebody you haven't even met?


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Why are you with her?? Leave her now. You don't respect her or you wouldn't be talking about her like that. Plus you aren't attracted to her. This will make a terrible relationship. End it now. Also what are you gonna do if your partner down the road gets cancer, or MS, or in a car accident? Split? Or is it just fat people you feel that way about? Meh don't answer that, I don't really care, it just seems awfully judgemental especially since so many people wouldn't look at people with SA twice since we have mental problems and they don't wanna deal with it.


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## LorenLuke (Jan 3, 2011)

You say that you don't want to marry her... or at least, while not being opposed to marrying her you express no desire to marry her... Generally, if two people get married, one asks the other to marry them and the other answers with 'yes'. Did you do one or both of those two things? Because if so, that communicates you want to marry her, hence why quite a few people are confused.

Second off, it's less than prudent to propose/accept the proposition of someone you've not met in person beforehand, issues of weight aside. 

Third, you obviously were attracted to her somehow to begin with, weight aside. Is that suddenly gone because she is considered "fat" to you? I doubt her disposition changed based on your realisation.

Lastly, if and only if your concern of her weight is solely about her health rather than how attractive she seems to you, then you bring it up, otherwise, I advise you to act stupid on the matter, and have your words look the part, too.


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## General Specific (Mar 4, 2008)

a pers0n said:


>


Getting real tired of your transgressions, pers0n.


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

What part about impregnating and marrying an obese woman you met online sounds like a good idea op?

Are those few seconds of cumming really worth having to bookmark babynames.com and pay for 18 years worth of cheetos and poptarts? I don't think so.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Why would you describe her as "a fat girl" if you really loved her.

Obviously, you have a problem with her weight, and don't really love her.


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## mooncake (Jan 29, 2008)

You're not physically attracted to her, and her size is obviously a problem for you. So don't waste her (and your) time by progressing things any further. Going against what a lot of people here have suggested, I can't advise strongly enough that you should absolutely _not_ bring her weight up. Chances are that she'd be extremely hurt if you mention it as a turn-off and I don't see why it would be necessary to talk about it. People are aware of their own size and are capable of asking for help if they want to lose some weight. If they don't, politely leave them be.

It does seems a bit strange that someone would (you say seriously) be saying that they want to have a baby with you, though, when they've never even met you. Sounds quite emotionally immature and perhaps something to be a bit wary of anyway.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

***** cray, you cray, you should both go away, and save baby-making for another day.


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

Railroad Cancellation said:


> ***** cray, you cray, you should both go away, and save baby-making for another day.


Ha ha ha


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

Most of the comments here are are completely ignorant about what i'm saying...maybe cos of my title? I've explained what I meant ENOUGH. Funny how people are quick to judge without trying to comprehend what they read.

Anyway, I told her how I felt.I told her I think she's beautiful, but that I wouldn't want to marry into potential health problems from her weight.....

She was upset for a min....and thought I was saying I wasn't attracted to bbw.Hold up? That's what most of YOU are saying.....Well we talked on the phone finally, and I explained myself better to her....me her are STRAIGHT again. She thought I led her on in the begining by not telling her I wud never marry a bbw...but how do u tell someone that in the begining, right?She had to admitt. Anyway, above all she told me I should have worded what I said differently....


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

WintersTale said:


> Why would you describe her as "a fat girl" if you really loved her.
> 
> Obviously, you have a problem with her weight, and don't really love her.


I didn't use the word fat when I told her.....


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

the collector said:


> Most of the comments here are are completely ignorant about what i'm saying...maybe cos of my title? I've explained what I meant ENOUGH. Funny how people are quick to judge without trying to comprehend what they read.
> 
> Anyway, I told her how I felt.I told her I think she's beautiful, but that I wouldn't want to marry into potential health problems from her weight.....
> 
> She was upset for a min....and thought I was saying I wasn't attracted to bbw.Hold up? That's what most of YOU are saying.....Well we talked on the phone finally, and I explained myself better to her....me her are STRAIGHT again. She thought I led her on in the begining by not telling her I wud never marry a bbw...but how do u tell someone that in the begining, right?She had to admitt. Anyway, above all she told me I should have worded what I said differently....


Well you got it off your chest, are you still together? I hope you rethink the baby and marriage talk, since you've never met this person (no offense intended) thats a recipe for disaster right there.


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## Isabelle50 (Nov 19, 2012)

> and thought I was saying I wasn't attracted to bbw.


What on earth is bbw?


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## UndreamingAwake (Apr 11, 2011)

Isabelle50 said:


> What on earth is bbw?


It stands for "big beautiful woman".


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Isabelle50 said:


> What on earth is bbw?


 big beautiful woman


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## Isabelle50 (Nov 19, 2012)

ohh.

Thanks, that makes sense.


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

You haven't even met her yet... jumping ahead of yourself much? 

That said, having not met her yet and her telling you she wants to have your babies seems a bit much. Even if she was "perfect" phsyically I'd find it scary that someone I haven't even met was that serious about me. 

That said you have to be realistic. And honest with yourself...is this genuine concern about her health, or about her appearance... Would you be this worried if she was a smoker? Either way if it really is about her health be gentle about how you express it, if she really is at an unhealthy weight/living an unhealthy lifestyle she probably is very aware of it.


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## ShadyGFX (Jul 18, 2012)

On the bright side, she can't get married and let herself go...


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## pati (Aug 15, 2012)

This post depresses me. I know it's how you feel, but it just makes me sad for some reason. Did you know that healthy people die everyday, every second? Skinny people get cancer, skinny people have heart-attacks. I don't know, it just seems like the weight actually is an issue for you & you're just trying to mask your doubts by placing it behind a health issue facade. Do you feel ashamed that you like someone who isn't traditionally "attractive"? I hope not. Everyone is beautiful in their own way & if you are attracted to her personality & pass her over because of her weight, then I honestly believe you don't deserve her. And saying something to her about her weight = bad idea. I assure you women are already aware of their weight & feel bad about it on a daily basis. She won't need reminded.


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## niacin (May 26, 2012)

Definitely don't rush into things - especially if you haven't seen if you have chemistry in real life. You should tell her the truth.


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

You don't like fat, take a skinny one. You will ruin fat girls life, stay out of her.


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

SnowFlakesFire said:


> stay out of her.


lol


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