# Feeling so lonely and empty



## Kevin21 (Jan 1, 2017)

My days consist of watching pointless youtube videos, watching shows, and playing yugioh online lol. I just feel so bland in those very moment. I have no one to talk to really, none of my friends text me and even if they did I don't have much to say because I can't relate to their lives. I just want something more, to be talking to people and doing actually things. I hate that I feel like my life is just wasting away... I do try to draw because I enjoy it and work out and meditate daily but I feel like it is not enough. I eventually get tired of that stuff and the loneliness just hits me hard I feel like I don't have enough energy or interest in doing things by myself to stay entertained. I just need people to talk to I feel so lonely and empty like a mindless puppet. I do have a group of friends I could go to but they are kind of toxic people so I prefer to be alone than hanging out with them. I just feel like such a loser who can't do anything...I'm so sick of living like this :/


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## 629753 (Apr 7, 2015)

me 2. There is no way this is all life has to give. impossible. i just cant believe it is. there is something deep inside of us, im sure.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Sorry to hear that bro. I don't really have friends irl. You can always talk to me you know.


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## ghost dog (Sep 8, 2013)

You're probably like me then. Unemployed? Work might be a good place to start, that's what I'm working on.


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## Kevin21 (Jan 1, 2017)

Yeah...I just feel like there needs to be something more...that I'm doing useless **** all the time and it makes me feel so bland...Thanks Kevin001


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## Kevin21 (Jan 1, 2017)

ghost dog said:


> You're probably like me then. Unemployed? Work might be a good place to start, that's what I'm working on.


Yes unemployed. My anxiety makes it hard for me to work though...so I'm kind of scared to get a real job right now. Not sure what I should do.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

I have the same challenge. I'll likely be relocating cities in the next few months. If so, I'm definitely going to get a hobby that has a rich hobby club surrounding it. Then, maybe, I'll both have somethig non-work to do, but may have a prayer of connecting with other humans IRL, that aren't work related.


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## ghost dog (Sep 8, 2013)

Kevin21 said:


> Yes unemployed. My anxiety makes it hard for me to work though...so I'm kind of scared to get a real job right now. Not sure what I should do.


I can't really say much because I've been in the same situation for 2 years. Repetitive days, gaming, youtube, no job because of anxiety. I'm at the point now where I have to get a job. I'm still procrastinating as we speak, but tomorrow I'll start writing a CV (resume) and I've looked at jobs online. The thing that makes it most scary for me is the fact I have no experience at 20 years old which will means 99% of employers will look right over me. But once I've found a first job, even if it sucks, working will become a habit and I can search for better work in the meantime.

2 years ago I was dropped off my college course and thought I should wait before getting a job because my anxiety was bad and I needed a break. Then my Dad bought my Mum a puppy. My Mum works in the day and so does my Dad, so it was basically left up to me to raise the puppy and entertain it all day. He had attachment problems and I definitely couldn't leave him home alone, at least while he was still young. Then months later my parents got divorced. I was too emotional so I put off getting a job even longer. Then they sold the house and I went living with my Mum and her new boyfriend temporarily. In this 2 month period I knew I was only living there temporarily until we found a proper place to live, so it was pointless to find a nearby job. (sidenote, I don't drive so I wanted a job I could walk or cycle to) Then before we actually moved to our new home, my Mum kicked me out, sold my dog and abandoned me after arguments with her and her new boyfriend, so I went to live with my Dad, sleeping on his sofa for 4 months. My Dad helped me find somewhere to live alone, and now I'm here. But really, I wish I just rushed right into employment as soon as possible. Dealing with anxiety on a daily basis isn't that bad compared to what 2 years of nothingness and uncertainty does. The longer you leave it, the more worthless you feel.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

ghost dog said:


> I can't really say much because I've been in the same situation for 2 years. Repetitive days, gaming, youtube, no job because of anxiety. I'm at the point now where I have to get a job. I'm still procrastinating as we speak, but tomorrow I'll start writing a CV (resume) and I've looked at jobs online. The thing that makes it most scary for me is the fact I have no experience at 20 years old which will means 99% of employers will look right over me. But once I've found a first job, even if it sucks, working will become a habit and I can search for better work in the meantime.
> 
> 2 years ago I was dropped off my college course and thought I should wait before getting a job because my anxiety was bad and I needed a break. Then my Dad bought my Mum a puppy. My Mum works in the day and so does my Dad, so it was basically left up to me to raise the puppy and entertain it all day. He had attachment problems and I definitely couldn't leave him home alone, at least while he was still young. Then months later my parents got divorced. I was too emotional so I put off getting a job even longer. Then they sold the house and I went living with my Mum and her new boyfriend temporarily. In this 2 month period I knew I was only living there temporarily until we found a proper place to live, so it was pointless to find a nearby job. (sidenote, I don't drive so I wanted a job I could walk or cycle to) Then before we actually moved to our new home, my Mum kicked me out, sold my dog and abandoned me after arguments with her and her new boyfriend, so I went to live with my Dad, sleeping on his sofa for 4 months. My Dad helped me find somewhere to live alone, and now I'm here. But really, I wish I just rushed right into employment as soon as possible. Dealing with anxiety on a daily basis isn't that bad compared to what 2 years of nothingness and uncertainty does. The longer you leave it, the more worthless you feel.


Ok, this is heartbreaking...I'm glad you're on your own and you have some motivation to move forward.


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## Kevin21 (Jan 1, 2017)

ghost dog said:


> I can't really say much because I've been in the same situation for 2 years. Repetitive days, gaming, youtube, no job because of anxiety. I'm at the point now where I have to get a job. I'm still procrastinating as we speak, but tomorrow I'll start writing a CV (resume) and I've looked at jobs online. The thing that makes it most scary for me is the fact I have no experience at 20 years old which will means 99% of employers will look right over me. But once I've found a first job, even if it sucks, working will become a habit and I can search for better work in the meantime.
> 
> 2 years ago I was dropped off my college course and thought I should wait before getting a job because my anxiety was bad and I needed a break. Then my Dad bought my Mum a puppy. My Mum works in the day and so does my Dad, so it was basically left up to me to raise the puppy and entertain it all day. He had attachment problems and I definitely couldn't leave him home alone, at least while he was still young. Then months later my parents got divorced. I was too emotional so I put off getting a job even longer. Then they sold the house and I went living with my Mum and her new boyfriend temporarily. In this 2 month period I knew I was only living there temporarily until we found a proper place to live, so it was pointless to find a nearby job. (sidenote, I don't drive so I wanted a job I could walk or cycle to) Then before we actually moved to our new home, my Mum kicked me out, sold my dog and abandoned me after arguments with her and her new boyfriend, so I went to live with my Dad, sleeping on his sofa for 4 months. My Dad helped me find somewhere to live alone, and now I'm here. But really, I wish I just rushed right into employment as soon as possible. Dealing with anxiety on a daily basis isn't that bad compared to what 2 years of nothingness and uncertainty does. The longer you leave it, the more worthless you feel.


Wow same here, I'll need to get a job for sure in a few months. My parents got divorced a few years ago too and it was pretty damn bad. It was around that time where I started to live like this, youtube, gaming, porn, junk food mindlessly going about each day living like that. Right now I'm living with my brother because his mother in law is overseas and he has no one to watch his kids for him so I'm stuck doing that for a few more months. I don't mind it too much though because it's the perfect excuse for me to do nothing but the thing I don't want to do nothing anymore lol. When I move back to my moms my dad will also be there which I'm not sure how that'll be like but I'll definitely need to be getting a job at least by this summer. I'm 21 and have pretty much no experience at all either, I might have a reference but that's a long shot. I hear you man that is so true....I love what you said there at the end how the pain is worse than the nothingness and the longer you leave it the more worthless I'll feel. It's so true...I feel so worthless compared to some of my friends. They're all working full time or in college and driving (working on my license right now) I can't help but feel insecure when I'm around them. My lifestyle is just eating away at me making me feel so damn empty...I feel like an empty doll or something man just waking up doing nothing then going back to sleep..


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## teopap (May 12, 2013)

I am like you OP but unlike you, I don't have any friends in general. The only one who texts me is my wireless carrier to inform me about new offers.


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## Kevin21 (Jan 1, 2017)

teopap said:


> I am like you OP but unlike you, I don't have any friends in general. The only one who texts me is my wireless carrier to inform me about new offers.


I hate that....It gets me excited then find out its just AT&T...I don't care about your plan offers..DO THEY INCLUDE FRIENDS??! Lol anyways, you can talk to me man.


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## teopap (May 12, 2013)

Kevin21 said:


> I hate that....It gets me excited then find out its just AT&T...I don't care about your plan offers..DO THEY INCLUDE FRIENDS??! Lol anyways, you can talk to me man.


Yeap...
I'm so depressed that I can't find the motivation to talk to anyone irl or online. Thanks though.
Is there any drug that will zombify and chemically lobotomize me apart from SSRIs ? Something fast-acting. I don't want to feel anything anymore. I heard that medicines that zombify can't make you feel joy or sadness. Well, I forgot what joy and hapiness is, so at least I want to get rid of my emotions and shut my brain off. I whish I was never born.


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## Kevin21 (Jan 1, 2017)

teopap said:


> Yeap...
> I'm so depressed that I can't find the motivation to talk to anyone irl or online. Thanks though.
> Is there any drug that will zombify and chemically lobotomize me apart from SSRIs ? Something fast-acting. I don't want to feel anything anymore. I heard that medicines that zombify can't make you feel joy or sadness. Well, I forgot what joy and hapiness is, so at least I want to get rid of my emotions and shut my brain off. I whish I was never born.


Hey man I know how that feels....living life day by day doing nothing really helped me feel like a zombie..that's how I felt this morning when I realized I refreshed my youtube homepage 5 times in a row...I hate that feeling man cause you just don't feel like a person. Try working out or something man...it helps boost your mood and motivation.


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## TheInvisibleHand (Sep 5, 2015)

teopap said:


> I am like you OP but unlike you, I don't have any friends in general. The only one who texts me is my wireless carrier to inform me about new offers.


My carrier is starting to smother me , i was thinking of replying and saying i want to take things slowly.


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## Kevin21 (Jan 1, 2017)

TheInvisibleHand said:


> My carrier is starting to smother me , i was thinking of replying and saying i want to take things slowly.


LOL!


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## teopap (May 12, 2013)

Kevin21 said:


> Hey man I know how that feels....living life day by day doing nothing really helped me feel like a zombie..that's how I felt this morning when I realized I refreshed my youtube homepage 5 times in a row...I hate that feeling man cause you just don't feel like a person. Try working out or something man...it helps boost your mood and motivation.


I was going to a gym for 2 months or so. I feel good when exercising but this fades away 1-2 hours after I stop workout and I'm back into my misery. I have an extrovert normie sister 19yrs old which hangs out with her friends and boyfriends like there's no tomorrow. This reminds me of how looser I am and I feel like s*** watching her being so sucessful. At least my parents will have a daughter they are proud of.


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## Kevin21 (Jan 1, 2017)

teopap said:


> I was going to a gym for 2 months or so. I feel good when exercising but this fades away 1-2 hours after I stop workout and I'm back into my misery. I have an extrovert normie sister 19yrs old which hangs out with her friends and boyfriends like there's no tomorrow. This reminds me of how looser I am and I feel like s*** watching her being so sucessful. At least my parents will have a daughter they are proud of.


It's not your fault you have social anxiety. Other people would be in the exact same boat as us if they had it but at least we're fighting.


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## vanilla90 (Jun 22, 2010)

Read! Read a lot. Philosophy. Fiction. Non fiction. Lots of history. I feel that once a person regains a lust to learn then they improve other aspects of their life too.


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## teopap (May 12, 2013)

Kevin21 said:


> It's not your fault you have social anxiety. Other people would be in the exact same boat as us if they had it but at least we're fighting.


I know, but I wish I was living alone and not with my family. I hate seeing her going out all the time, her phone is ringing from calls and social network notifications literally every 20 seconds all day long and all this reminds me how looser I am. Social anxiety and avoidant personality has made me to push everyone away and now I am even afraid to leave the house. My whole life is wake up eat play on the computer watch tv series and get back to sleep.


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## theusedblueandyellow (Jan 5, 2017)

I can understand some of your frustration. I do not have any friends and most of the time I stay home and I don't really have anyone to talk to. I mostly listen to music, watch videos on youtube and watch a lot of movies and I sleep a lot.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)




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## Kevin21 (Jan 1, 2017)

theusedblueandyellow said:


> I can understand some of your frustration. I do not have any friends and most of the time I stay home and I don't really have anyone to talk to. I mostly listen to music, watch videos on youtube and watch a lot of movies and I sleep a lot.


My life the past 4 years Dx


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## 629753 (Apr 7, 2015)

Kevin21 said:


> My life the past 4 years Dx


at least you dont have to go to dreadfull school


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## Icarius (Jan 6, 2017)

*Get out there*

I feel the same way as of now. But I've experienced that 'getting ou there' and just do it helps more than anything. Just as this might sound like a joke, I'll quote Shia LaBeouf "Just do it!"


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## Cool Ice Dude55 (Jan 7, 2014)

I'm so glad i stumbled upon this thead. this thread is my life right now. i just feel...so alone. basically. my friend number is shrinking by the day. and i just want someone to shoot the breeze with, to binge watch stupid stuff on netflix, to text memes to. but i am alone. and i feel so lost, and lonely.


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