# when girls don't look at you anymore



## Some Russian Guy (Mar 20, 2009)

Have you ever noticed that, wherever you go, on the streets, at the mall, in the supermarket, girls/women just pass you by and don't look at you anymore...
or may be they just give you a quick glance, to visually assess your facial characteristics, and then just look away uninterested...

may be they once did look at you with interest, but now it seems you are not that good looking to them...

i'm not talking about your friends or coworkers, i'm talking about people who don't know you, that just incidentally met you somewhere in public


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## Think_For_Yourself (Dec 7, 2010)

I could not agree more. I found that after I hit the 18/19 mark it was much more difficult to pick up chicks at the places I used to. Of course I'm sure I seemed like a creepy old man doing so since these chicks were like 16-17 so lol to that. Older chicks are just harder to talk to. You have to be successful which interferes with myself since I'm an utter failure.


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## stranger25 (Apr 29, 2010)

Definetly. It's like you are invisible to girls or something. Or it could be that we let off a-hole vibes or disinterest.....


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

They never have...


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## Some Russian Guy (Mar 20, 2009)

some times I see that a girl quickly looks away, may be because she's shy as well
I usually scan faces of everyone who's around me in public...
but if I see some girl look at me I quickly look away, so I don't know whether she looks at me with interest or not...
but I noticed that whenever there is a new girl in psychologist clinic where I go to (on reception desk)
they look at me with interest for the first 2, 3 or maybe even 4 times
but then loose interest when they see that I ignore them
but I looove to watch them when they are not looking


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

Accept that you aren't all that and move on.


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## RUFB2327 (Sep 28, 2008)

girls looking at you? whats that like??


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## King Moonracer (Oct 12, 2010)

i think girls still look at me...im 18 though. I know all my sisters little friends wanna do me, and they are all 16 and 17. And i think some college girls like me, because some just start talking to me and they dont know me.

I dont know why girls still look at me. I have kind of a unique body type. Im like a stocky tall version of christian bale haha


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## Johnny_Genome (Nov 11, 2003)

I get more looks now than at 18 -- I was way more awkward back then.


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

I think this might be one time I disagree with the guys. 

Are you saying that girls were interested in you at one time and then changed their mind after a certain age? 

Personally, I occasionally get attention from women. Its usually on the days when I'm feeling confident, holding my headup, and have a smile on my face. On my more depressive days, no attention at all. Or maybe there is and I'm too depressed to see it?


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## Some Russian Guy (Mar 20, 2009)

RUFB2327 said:


> girls looking at you? whats that like??


At this point I don't feel anything towards it...
Whenever I'm in public, or visiting my psychologist, I'm just always preoccupied with my paranoid delusional thoughts... there's just no room in my head for thinking about girls anymore...
I could be approached by a gorgeous girl, wanting to chat with me, and I just look at her completely indifferent, ignore her and go about my business...

it's only when I ... ... ... I switch on that part in my brain that deals with fantasies, and then after all is finished, it turns off automatically and I carry on with doing something more productive, like sorting my terabytes of data, or watching a movie or reading book, a wikipedia article...


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Lonelyguy said:


> They never have...


Same here.


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## KennethJones (Jun 22, 2009)

heroin said:


> Accept that you aren't all that and move on.


Wait a minute, there is no accepting this. Every heterosexual man has the desire for women to notice him. For some men, this is just a dream.

Having a lack of female attention is not something you get over. It slowly eats away at you. But its just like the hundreds of other things in life that eat away at you as well. And thats what life can be: a slow process of degradation until there is nothing left.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

KennethJones said:


> Wait a minute, there is no accepting this. Every heterosexual man has the desire for women to notice him. For some men, this is just a dream.
> 
> Having a lack of female attention is not something you get over. It slowly eats away at you. But its just like the hundreds of other things in life that eat away at you as well. And thats what life can be: a slow process of degradation until there is nothing left.


I'm only saying that you (generic) need to accept that you may not exactly be eye candy or capable of turning heads. Not to give up on seeking female attention entirely.


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## Havalina (Dec 18, 2004)

It seems to me, most of society is disconnected from those around them. I love observing people, on the bus, on the streets, in stores...and especially in bar situations (mating rituals fascinate me). It's almost like people now, regardless of age or sex, have blinders on. They stare blankly at their little handheld devices and phones, or completely tune out everything with headphones. Rushing around, looking straight infront of them or at the ground. At least that's what happens around here.
Anyway, I think it's more of a society change, not really to do with whether you are 'hot or not'.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

I don't look at people like eye candy. They usually get my attention once they open their mouths and say something intriguing. 

Perhaps its because "you" are disconnected from the environment and not engaging their attention. Unless you're Brad Pitt I don't see why tons of women should be eyeing you from afar.


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## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

I seem to get the attention of girls but I don't really do much about it.


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## adh16 (Jan 15, 2011)

I agree with the women on this thread, as well as VanDamMan. When you're confident with yourself you'll get more admirers, but people are generally in their own world. If they're not looking at you, it might have zero to do with you. Plus, I wonder, why do you want to be checked out in the psychologist's office. There's certain places that I am in no mood of being checked out or picked up and it includes any variant of a doctor's office.


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## Think_For_Yourself (Dec 7, 2010)

heroin said:


> Accept that you aren't all that and move on.


Worst advice ITT. Everyone needs to keep their FKN head up. Sick of all this negativity.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

girls not looking at me = just another day.


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## stranger25 (Apr 29, 2010)

Havalina said:


> It seems to me, most of society is disconnected from those around them. I love observing people, on the bus, on the streets, in stores...and especially in bar situations (mating rituals fascinate me). It's almost like people now, regardless of age or sex, have blinders on. They stare blankly at their little handheld devices and phones, or completely tune out everything with headphones. Rushing around, looking straight infront of them or at the ground. At least that's what happens around here.
> Anyway, I think it's more of a society change, not really to do with whether you are 'hot or not'.


You do realize that if a man goes through life without ever getting interest from women it will make him hate the whole female gender right?


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

ViLLiO said:


> Worst advice ITT. Everyone needs to keep their FKN head up. Sick of all this negativity.


So you'd rather people delude themselves into thinking they're hot stuff?


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

Since I've gotten back into decent shape, I've drawn some looks and smiles from women I've run across, but I rarely have a foggy idea what to do about it. Once you get out of forced settings like back in school, it becomes exceedingly difficult to get to know someone over a period of time that used to allow me to stumble into possible relationships. I don't have the ability to go up and start a conversation with someone I just met and it has little to do with confidence. I like doing instead of narration.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

stranger25 said:


> You do realize that if a man goes through life without ever getting interest from women it will make him hate the whole female gender right?


You're only 20. I'm 8 years older than you, and I don't hate girls. I'm sexually frustrated, and at the end of my rope regarding dating, but I don't hate the whole female gender.


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## Havalina (Dec 18, 2004)

stranger25 said:


> You do realize that if a man goes through life without ever getting interest from women it will make him hate the whole female gender right?


I doubt that looks from women passing you by is the only avenue of female interest, which is the topic of this thread. But I suspect one would get pretty hateful if one never got any interest in 20 years of life. Sadly, the hatefulness will only increase the disinterest.


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## 1outof10 (Feb 5, 2011)

Do you make eye contact with them and smile? Doing so may boost your chances. I don't get many looks from women either and I can see why. I rarely ever smile and I look like a killer. Look at yourself in the mirror and if you appear unhappy, try to fake happiness.


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## stranger25 (Apr 29, 2010)

Havalina said:


> I doubt that looks from women passing you by is the only avenue of female interest, which is the topic of this thread. But I suspect one would get pretty hateful if one never got any interest in 20 years of life. Sadly, the hatefulness will only increase the disinterest.


Somebody needs to speak up. Everytime a woman ignore a shy man in public they are hurting him without even knowing it. Did you know that? That's one more strike against a guy who already has a bad life. Women hurt shy men without even knowing who they are or knowing what they are doing because they are convinced that they have to wait until a guy comes to them who fits prince charming. This is "our" view on it.


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## 1outof10 (Feb 5, 2011)

Oh and dress nice too


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## TheGMan (Jun 10, 2004)

I think a "quick glance" is pretty normal. Most people make very brief eye contact or glance at someone they encounter, at the most. I think this is the most socially acceptable type of look. It doesn't mean they took a look, did a fast assessment, and decided you were unworthy of further contact. Most people don't stare you down nor do they avoid looking completely. If they do, chances are it's not just you. Some people just don't look at anyone.

Now, if you have become used to most women looking at you and undressing you with their eyes, but those encounters are now less frequent.. I don't have any advice or you.


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## Some Russian Guy (Mar 20, 2009)

adh16 said:


> Plus, I wonder, why do you want to be checked out in the psychologist's office. There's certain places that I am in no mood of being checked out or picked up and it includes any variant of a doctor's office.


coz they're young and virgins
what do you expect from 18-19 year old girls with raging hormones... sheesh
the older girls therapists that work there (mmm older girls) they don't even notice me


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Some Russian Guy said:


> coz they're young and virgins
> what do you expect from 18-19 year old girls with raging hormones... sheesh


Lol :b
I wouldn't mind being checked out there either.
In the queue for the restroom though.. maybe not so good :um

I don't get many looks at all, but it's really nice when it happens (or I think it has happened at least :roll).


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## Josh90 (Aug 22, 2008)

I agree, I consider myself a fairly good looking guy but I don't get the attention I used to as my SA has gotten worse, maybe its my facial expressions and body language.


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## Misanthropic (Jun 25, 2010)

If you mean looks of contempt and disgust then no, I can't relate.


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## kentcharm (Feb 2, 2011)

Okay, personally I try to avoid looking at guys altogether. I just think that I'm not good enough, and that I don't deserve to look at them.... It's a messed up situation, but I'm pretty sure a lot of girls can relate. A lot of us want guys to make the first move (unfortunately), and a lot of us don't want to appear interested lest we appear desperate or weird. 

Don't take it personally. Us women are just fickle.


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## opalsky (Dec 6, 2010)

Then again, you could be just perceiving that they aren't interested in you (physically). Some girls are shy and can become intimidated when they see a particularly strapping chap, so they look away. 
Maybe they are just busy.

Physical looks aren't everything anyway.



Some Russian Guy said:


> Have you ever noticed that, wherever you go, on the streets, at the mall, in the supermarket, girls/women just pass you by and don't look at you anymore...
> or may be they just give you a quick glance, to visually assess your facial characteristics, and then just look away uninterested...
> 
> may be they once did look at you with interest, but now it seems you are not that good looking to them...
> ...


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## emptybottle2 (Jan 18, 2009)

Some Russian Guy said:


> some times I see that a girl quickly looks away, may be because she's shy as well
> I usually scan faces of everyone who's around me in public...
> but if I see some girl look at me I quickly look away, so I don't know whether she looks at me with interest or not...
> but I noticed that whenever there is a new girl in psychologist clinic where I go to (on reception desk)
> ...


so you _do_ have girls checking you out. sounds like your problem is that they're not hitting on you despite your "don't look at me" persona.


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

stranger25 said:


> Somebody needs to speak up. Everytime a woman ignore a shy man in public they are hurting him without even knowing it. Did you know that? That's one more strike against a guy who already has a bad life. Women hurt shy men without even knowing who they are or knowing what they are doing because they are convinced that they have to wait until a guy comes to them who fits prince charming. This is "our" view on it.


So, it is a woman's responsibility- when she is out and about in her daily life- to make guesses about the men she encounters and, if her guess about a man being shy somehow matches with the same guesses that man was making about himself, she should stop and pay attention to that man simply because he is or thinks of himself as "shy"?

And why would a "shy guy" automatically have a bad life? Why is a woman not noticing a man an act of some kind of aggression?

And all women hurt shy men without evening knowing because and only because they (the women) are convinced that they have to wait until a guy comes to them who fits "prince charming"? Did all the women in the world get together and decide this is their reason for ignoring shy guys or did the people who think their shyness holds them back make some observations and assumptions and guesses about why women didn't approach or notice them?

I hope that hasn't come across as harsh. It's not meant to be. It's just that making sweeping assumptions and guesses about women and their motivations and intentions is not the best way to get noticed by women. A woman is, after all, an individual. She has the same or similar fears, worries, loves, doubts, happiness etc as you do. She's a person. She's not there to validate stuff that should be coming from you in the first place. She's not there to validate that you're a good person or that you're interesting or that you're sexy or anything like that. That stuff comes from the inside.

If you like a girl but think of yourself as a "shy guy", that's your decision. It's your decision to think of yourself like that and your decision to let it hold you back. You being "shy" does not make it the girl's responsibility to approach or talk to you.

Two good ways to get noticed by girls are:

1. Feel relaxed and self assured in yourself.

2. Talk to her.

Neither of those two are easy. Of course they are not. They are not easy for the people some people think of as "alpha males" either. The universe is not going to make things easy for any of us.

A man who thinks he has never been noticed by a woman is not a God. That man is not aware of every single reaction a person in this world has had towards him. Therefore, it is quite possible for a man who thinks he has never been noticed by a woman to be wrong. Sometimes, the negative belief systems in play filter out examples and instances of women noticing that man until they are dismissed as flukes and a supermodel turning up to borrow some sugar would simply be dismissed as "someone looking to enhance their cup of tea".

Thinking that one has never been noticed by a woman is no reason to generalise, make sweeping guesses and be cross at an entire gender.


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## Some Russian Guy (Mar 20, 2009)

emptybottle2 said:


> so you _do_ have girls checking you out. sounds like your problem is that they're not hitting on you despite your "don't look at me" persona.


I want girls to hit on me... yes, I really do...
just so that i could reject them...


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## cafune (Jan 11, 2011)

stranger25 said:


> Somebody needs to speak up. Everytime a woman ignore a shy man in public they are hurting him without even knowing it. Did you know that? That's one more strike against a guy who already has a bad life. Women hurt shy men without even knowing who they are or knowing what they are doing because they are convinced that they have to wait until a guy comes to them who fits prince charming. This is "our" view on it.


I don't really agree with this. If the man is shy, generally, people equate that with them not wanting the attention to begin with. It's unfair to say that women are "hurting" them because shy people tend to send mixed signals. Do they want someone to talk to them? Or do they want to be left alone? A lot of women, I think, would rather talk/give attention to men they know want the attention. They don't really want to deal with those who don't seem sure of themselves, or what they want. And why do shy men have a "bad" life?

However, if the woman is searching for "prince charming" and doesn't seem to want to give the other man a chance, then I would agree with you, to an extent. Because even then, if she doesn't seem to be interested, then it's not her fault. And the reason for her disinterest does not have to be because the man is "shy," there are many other things that are taken into account. If the shy man doesn't look like someone she can see herself with, then the relationship would be doomed to fail whether or not she gave him a chance anyway.


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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

'Women seem wicked when you're unwanted 
Streets are uneven when you're down'


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

I don't get looked at by females like I used to, but I've noticed a large increase of dogs in cars staring at me, it's rather disturbing.


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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

My bad, I didn't mean to stare.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

thekloWN said:


> My bad, I didn't mean to stare.


I don't blame you, when moving faster than 25miles per hour I look pretty damn sexy, just hope you don't see me at a stop sign...


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## Some Russian Guy (Mar 20, 2009)

I want them to look, but I don't like them to stare at me...
because when they stare it means that they think I'm a freak, or a nutcase, or a mental head, or a bum...

Today at a store, a girl at the register, stared at me when I was checking out a product near entrance, it took me too long, to decide whether I want it or not, in the end I put it back in the bin...

She stared at me because she thought I'm a freak, I'm sure she did...


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## GnR (Sep 25, 2009)

VanDamMan said:


> I think this might be one time I disagree with the guys.
> 
> Are you saying that girls were interested in you at one time and then changed their mind after a certain age?
> 
> Personally, I occasionally get attention from women. Its usually on the days when I'm feeling confident, holding my headup, and have a smile on my face. On my more depressive days, no attention at all. Or maybe there is and I'm too depressed to see it?


^^^This. When you feel like crap and it's written all over your face, why would people want to be with you.


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## hn333 (Feb 13, 2011)

Women don't look at me so I don't look at them.


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## UNity7 (Feb 12, 2011)

Women look at me but it is usually that type of look which communicates revile and disgust. Who knows what they're thinking, I know I made another post on this but a lot of women look at me and are probably thinking "wow that is like the ugly puppy at the pound no one will ever want, he deserves to be euthanized"

So people looking at you.. it is definitely a double edged knife.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Girls are too busy looking at their phones texting to notice me. For the most part, the ones that do notice me smile, which makes me somewhat happier. I try and smile back, of course.


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## Some Russian Guy (Mar 20, 2009)

UNity7 said:


> Women look at me but it is usually that type of look which communicates revile and disgust. Who knows what they're thinking, I know I made another post on this but a lot of women look at me and are probably thinking "wow that is like the ugly puppy at the pound no one will ever want, he deserves to be euthanized"
> 
> So people looking at you.. it is definitely a double edged knife.


yup, that's right, they only look at us with disgust
usually they stare, like they see a fascist


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## MelysCariad (Jan 26, 2011)

See, this is why I have a love/hate relationship with my own gender.
It's hard to categorize all of us into one grouping, but generally yeah, girls do stare down guys. I've seen my friends do it; both sides of the spectrum, from attraction to un-interested. Whether it be on the street, in a store, wherever.

In public I try and act way less shy so I don't come across angry or pissed off (which usually seems to happen when I am by myself.) So I try and keep a pleasant look on my face and smile whenever I lock eyes with someone.

Girls can be heartless and pretty finicky, which I know can do a great deal of damage to the ego. This can go both ways, I get the same feeling when I'm out because I hardly get noticed by guys at all. (They all stare at my friend which is a whole other story) 
I will pretty much talk to anyone that seems friendly enough, if they approach me, but I know I give off some pretty harsh vibes sometimes. Which can probably be interpreted the wrong way. I bet my nervousness and avoidance of contact would probably come across as rude and volatile. 

As for the whole texting phone thing, I don't know about any other females here, but I use my phone as a way to distract people from me. It's an easy tool to try and look busy on.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

MelysCariad said:


> I will pretty much talk to anyone that seems friendly enough, if they approach me





MelysCariad said:


> As for the whole texting phone thing, I don't know about any other females here, but I use my phone as a way to distract people from me. It's an easy tool to try and look busy on.


Doesn't sound like a great strategy. Being friendly when others approach and actively keeping others from approaching by pretending to be busy.


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