# Do I stop therapy?



## Solidify (Jul 29, 2013)

I've been seeing my therapist for at least 2 years now and she keeps trying to help me move forward by giving me homework to look for another job so I'm not so stressed at work, she encourages me to speaks to girls and make plans with friends etc. And she tells me to offer to be the designated driver when we go out because I have anxiety about driving. 

The problem is that despite the wider scale showing advancements I've made over the years, I keep having minor lapses and it's very frustrating when I just can't get myself to do the homework she assigns me. 

after telling her today that I just didn't care about trying anymore, she asked me if I was suicidal or if I just wanted to stop therapy for a while in that case. I said no to both because I'm not suicidal and because I know that if I stop going to therapy, I will fall through the cracks and become even worse than I think I am now.

I always complain about paying 100$ per session every 3 weeks to my friends and most of them tell me: "Is it helping you?" To which I reply: "Well, yeah, it has helped me made progress over time." And then they just tell me to continue with it and don't put a price on health, which is a very valid point. But the problem is that I feel like a schmuck when I keep going to these sessions every 3 weeks or every month and I'm dishing out 100$ on demand knowing that I won't be able to show up next month with the homework done, and as much as she says it's not what she wants to see, I know that above all, this is a business and she loves seeing me come back.

I don't know what to do anymore because I have a feeling that stopping will make my lifestyle more secluded and introverted and I will go out less than I do now and not make any progress. On the other hand, if I continue, and don't start doing the homework, I will feel like an idiot. I've already spent thousands of dollars on therapy and the fact that I'm being a dummy and not doing the homework (able to get myself to do it) is eating me alive.


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## wings of hope (Dec 11, 2013)

go somewhere where they offer free therapy or counseling or some club with group therapy at low cost.. don't waste your money on these bull--**** therapists... they become happy to see people comin back..honestly speaking they don't care


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## idioteque (May 21, 2012)

Maybe you could take a break for a bit, but ask if she can give you both short-term and long-term goals to accomplish. Being able to work at your own pace might be easier for you, and if that doesn't work out you could always start the sessions again.


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## starburst (Feb 5, 2013)

Solidify said:


> I've already spent thousands of dollars on therapy and the fact that I'm being a dummy and not doing the homework (able to get myself to do it) is eating me alive.


You are being WAY too hard on yourself. Give yourself a great big pat on the back for spending so much money on trying to get well and overcome your condition - that shows real commitment, and a genuine desire to change things in your life for the better.

You are clearly unhappy with this therapist - and thus you should either seek another therapist that suits you better, or find some other approach, eg self-help of some kind.

Just consider the vast array of options open to you - and you are free to choose which is best for you - but only you can know if something is working or not.

Don't blame yourself so much if things go wrong - it might not actually be YOUR fault ! You already are making quite a lot of effort. Therapists vary greatly and some offer better value than others - shop around - that is your right - do not accept anything you are unhappy with.

.


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## cellophanegirl (Sep 21, 2009)

Why is therapy so expensive? I have health insurance and pay a $20 copay every session. But I have no idea what the system is like in Canada. Is there somewhere you could get cheaper therapy, or is this your only option?


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## Solidify (Jul 29, 2013)

cello, My insurance doesn't help much (for the amount of times I go), so yes, it is expensive.

starburst, thanks for the comment but the problem with seeking a new shrink is that I'd have to spend money on many session getting her or him up to par with what my current therapist knows about me. And besides, it's me that doesn't do the homeowork. She's got me by the [email protected], sory for the language. Because I feel that stopping will make it easier for me to stop making progress because then she will not be there to force me to do things every month, but then again, I don't always do the homework she gives me anymore because I just can't man up to it.. so in theory, whether I stay or leave, I'm not doing the homework. 

So I guess I answered my own question. Stop?

Ugh! I feel like I'm making a big mistake stoping but I feel like a complete fool for spending money on her but not taking her advice serisouly.


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## dkarazhov (Dec 2, 2013)

My god, her approach indicates that she has no idea how to treat this disorder. Read this!


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## rambo (Nov 14, 2010)

Solidify said:


> cello, My insurance doesn't help much (for the amount of times I go), so yes, it is expensive.
> 
> starburst, thanks for the comment but the problem with seeking a new shrink is that I'd have to spend money on many session getting her or him up to par with what my current therapist knows about me. And besides, it's me that doesn't do the homeowork. She's got me by the [email protected], sory for the language. Because I feel that stopping will make it easier for me to stop making progress because then she will not be there to force me to do things every month, but then again, I don't always do the homework she gives me anymore because I just can't man up to it.. so in theory, whether I stay or leave, I'm not doing the homework.
> 
> ...


100 buck per month for one session to take out SA is worth it but she's not worth it. She doesn't know how to deal with SA. Get a better therapist.

So what if you got to explain yourself to a new therapist and spend 100 dollars per month. You are 21 and taking actions to not be 31 with the same level of SA and problem. Keep that in mind and always remember all the issues SA cause you.

P.S. Do some self improvement self. It have done wonders for me.



dkarazhov said:


> My god, her approach indicates that she has no idea how to treat this disorder. Read this!


I agree. She seem confused and a rookie.


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## dkarazhov (Dec 2, 2013)

rambo said:


> I agree. She seem confused and a rookie.


I don't think she is a rookie, I just truly believe that in order to treat SA one must have lived through it themselves, and had overcome it. She clearly hasn't. Such practitioners hurt their patients and reinforce their belief "I will never get better"


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## Solidify (Jul 29, 2013)

FYI, I don't have social anxiety. I came her because it was the closest thing I could find to the type of support I was looking for. I just have general anxiety. When I have to go out with friends, I get anxious since I'm prone to getting stomach problems when I get nervous and it's basically a chicken and the egg ordeal. It's complicated to explain but I don't have SA. 

I emailed my shrink to cancel my next appointment in January. I told her I'm taking a break. The is the first break I'm taking from therapy after having gone every month for more than 2 years. I feel like I have to be so careful right now to keep my head up and stay productive or I'll fall through the cracks with no one to catch me this time.

In another sense, I'm kind of curious to see how this will turn out.


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## starburst (Feb 5, 2013)

I think you need to work hard to find the right treatment and approach that works for you. It is a search, and you just have to be prepared to look wherever you can (eg on here). In sticking to a single therapist you may be missing out on other help that might be available to you. Information is one of the most powerful things in the world - they don't say 'knowledge is power' for nothing!


.


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## SHYartist13 (May 23, 2013)

*Replying to Do I stop therapy?*



Solidify said:


> I've been seeing my therapist for at least 2 years now and she keeps trying to help me move forward by giving me homework to look for another job so I'm not so stressed at work, she encourages me to speaks to girls and make plans with friends etc. And she tells me to offer to be the designated driver when we go out because I have anxiety about driving.
> 
> The problem is that despite the wider scale showing advancements I've made over the years, I keep having minor lapses and it's very frustrating when I just can't get myself to do the homework she assigns me.
> 
> ...


This is just a suggestion. Have you asked about help paying for the therapy bill. Have you asked the therapist if you can get some help paying for the bill? You could schedule a session every 4 or 5 weeks or longer if you want. It is your choice, but its also okay to take a break from even therapy. I too am thinking if I should call my therapist back and schedule an appointment. I have not seen her in 4 or 5 weeks now. If you think you can handle things without a therapist, then you should give it a shot. If you do fall back, hopefully your therapist will be there for you when you need him or her and you can continue the therapy. I hope this helps even a little for you. Good luck.


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## rambo (Nov 14, 2010)

dkarazhov said:


> I don't think she is a rookie, I just truly believe that in order to treat SA one must have lived through it themselves, and had overcome it. She clearly hasn't. Such practitioners hurt their patients and reinforce their belief "I will never get better"


I disagree. I believe it can be treated without living with it. From your comment, I used the wrong term as in "rookie". I should have said she didnt have the proper methods for Solidify.


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## Solidify (Jul 29, 2013)

SHYartist13 said:


> This is just a suggestion. Have you asked about help paying for the therapy bill. Have you asked the therapist if you can get some help paying for the bill? You could schedule a session every 4 or 5 weeks or longer if you want. It is your choice, but its also okay to take a break from even therapy. I too am thinking if I should call my therapist back and schedule an appointment. I have not seen her in 4 or 5 weeks now. If you think you can handle things without a therapist, then you should give it a shot. If you do fall back, hopefully your therapist will be there for you when you need him or her and you can continue the therapy. I hope this helps even a little for you. Good luck.


100$ per session is the lowest she can go. I can schedule whenever I want to see her that's not the problem. The problem is that I don't do the homework anymore because I've just given up and it's too difficult to keep the progress steady. So I told her that it would be pointless and frustrate me to pay under these circumstances.


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## starburst (Feb 5, 2013)

Solidify said:


> 100$ per session is the lowest she can go. I can schedule whenever I want to see her that's not the problem. The problem is that I don't do the homework anymore because I've just given up and it's too difficult to keep the progress steady. So I told her that it would be pointless and frustrate me to pay under these circumstances.


It sounds like your being pushed through this treatment program as fast as is possible. That will obviously make the therapist more money - a higher frequency of appointments is to their advantage - and they have bills to pay.

But for the patient its not really the best way to do things necessarily. For example in therapist's Colin A Ross book Trauma Model Therapy: A Treatment Approach for Trauma, Dissociation and Complex Comorbidity (2009) he estimates 5-10 years to overcome a dissociation type disorder.

Things move more slowly - you need TIME to assimilate to your new way of thinking - and the symptoms of the condition won't go away overnight, no matter how much money you spend on therapists.

If you are feeling unable to make the effort to do the homework, then maybe you need micro-targets, ie just doing very small positive things, and these can kick-start you into a better frame of mind. Having a big set task to do regularly can be daunting - life has to be fun also - even if you have SA.

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