# Need to step up my game (long post)



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

_This is going to be a LOOONNGG post...people sometimes say I repeat myself when I talk so just try to skim through all that if I do... I just want to talk about this here... don't even bother reading if your in a rush lol_

I guess I'm confused. My sister is lesbian and either can get any girl she wants or gets rejected constantly. Every time I go out with her (usually a gay club [I'm not gay-there are other straights there too]) she can typically get most girl's numbers, and even suprisingly, dates with the same girls!

The crazy part is that my sister isn't in the best shape but her personality is addictive. She will have people following her around all night. I say this because I realize that having a powerful personality is a good thing to attract people, but I've seen her just about do everything under the sun from numbers to taking _HOT_ girls home on one night stands (not that I'm particularly interested in that).

I guess I'm just interested in the shift from what I do and her. For a while there I haven't been proactive going out trying to doing anything like that but my sister moved back in with my dad (she's twenty-eight) and I've been hanging out a lot with her lately. She's never single, and it is amazing to see how fast she goes from being single to not being single! It is actually pretty inspiring and she really has inspired me because she is a normal person but I think she goes about things differently.

Now, I've come to the understanding a few years ago that I really don't have to change my "main" personality to meet girls. I'm far over the drama of trying to impress girls or anything on the too dysfunctional side of things. Basically, I've matured a lot and I'm not putting up with anything I don't deserve and I don't treat people that way either. I also realize that a lot of you may argue with me that there is probably something wrong with my personality or that I'm not doing the "attraction game" right, but I don't think that is it...

I think what separates me from my sister is her ability and WANT to converse with absolute strangers and feel encouraged to do so. Personally, I've come a LONG way from my SA days and I actually don't consider myself shy anymore (I know hard to believe), and that somewhat baffles me more. I do have shy tendencies, like approaching at a club or bar or something like that, but I will do it and have done it in the past. It just seems like when I do it I get rejected far more often than my sister (I really haven't seen her get rejected hardly at all!), and there was a while there when I was going out in the past I literally just gave up because every girl I approached seemed put off by me, or if I got a girl's number she'd never hit me back. My sister says when I go out with her girls are checking but I often don't see it, and why would I believe her when I go out to single bars and stuff no girl seems interested in me? Funny though, gay guys hit on me (like last night) and I have to tell them I'm straight! Haha. But I do think she is right some of the time with the girls (I guess, idk).

I also understand that, really, if you want something the best approach is to go after it. It just gets super discouraging when it feels I take all the time, energy and resources to go out and then to just get rejected. Yeah, true, most people get rejected though. I didn't approach only but like 1 group of girls last night and so I can fully admit I didn't do jack-squat what I should of done and that is both frustrating and inspiring.

_I don't know man, I'm just blabbing on here but w/e..._

I honestly think the problem lies in my persistence. My sister naturally enjoys a more social life while I enjoy it occasionally but I also enjoy my solitude to an extent, which I feel is normal. I guess I still haven't grasped the fact that rejection happens a lot, and maybe more with me than my sister, and that I need to be persistent, but I've never had to work so hard for something in all my life, and I'm sure other people can relate. I don't know, I guess that is just the way it is. I do need to step my game up big time though for sure. I didn't plan on going out again tonight but I have the night off and I really feel a strong urge to redeem myself and prove to myself that with enough approaches and persistence I can do the same things as my sister. I personally wouldn't like to approach a dozen or so girls a night but it is like I have to, ya know? So I guess that is what I have to do and I don't blame any guy doing the same....

Maybe I'm just an idiot for going out to clubs again, but I see my sister do amazing things and so why can't I? Seriously? So I guess I'm back at it...
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I'll be super, super hard on myself if I don't approach a set amount of girls tonight because that is my main goal, but nonetheless here are the few things I will do tonight that should get me where I need to go (hopefully):

*1) Approach girls like crazy and start up ANY conversation no matter how lame I think it is or how inappropriate for the situation.
2) Accept that I'll probably get rejected a lot but to stay PERSISTENT and positive.*

Haha, really that's it. I think that should make a world of difference. If not, I know I should be getting somewhere as composed as to only approaching 1 set of girls. Almost sounds sad I have to plan crap out like this but it is just the way I operate... I have to, really...

I'll leave an update when I get back in the morning tomorrow.


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## tookie (Dec 31, 2010)

getting out there and being persistent sounds like the right thing to do. rejection is a part of life but its great that ur getting out & making that effort. and yes, some people just draw people in with their personality. i had a friend years ago like that. she wasnt that attractive physically but everyone was drawn to her because of her personality. she was amazing. but just keep up what ur doing & strike up conversation. people love confidence & thats what most of of lack...i know i do. good luck!


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Haha so much for that... they decided to go bowling!? Next time I guess.


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## KurtG85 (Sep 19, 2008)

Its like riding a bike i think man. We are not going to exude the confidence that we know how to ride until we have gone through the necessary learning trials of falling on our face over and over again many times. The key is persistence, exactly like you said, otherwise we never learn. Just like anything else, the ability to participate in and enjoy socialization in a relaxed manner comes naturally to some and not so much for others. The key is to keep getting on the bike until it gets easier to the point where, while you might not have the natural outgoingness that in our culture tends to attract throngs of people, you are not expending so much energy stressing out about whether your doing it right that you can actually enjoy the ride. 

I had a real ladies-man kinda guy Sicilian friend who told me that persistence was exactly the secret that led to his success with women. He said he'd approach 20 women and get flat out rejected by 15 to 18 of them regularly. I think its another helpful bit of info to realize, if you didn't already know, that every woman you talk to you are flattering on a subconscious level. For whatever socio/cultural/psychological/physical reason they might decide to reject you over, which we of course usually shouldn't worry about, they cannot help but feeling desired by your approach. Being desired is the root of female sexuality. They are in love and aroused by the feeling of being wanted. In this way, while they may try and hide it, you are stroking their subconscious desires just by approaching them. 

I believe that once you understand a bit better how the game works (rejections are a regular part of it) and you don't let them crush your confidence and cause you to give up, you suddenly begin exuding the subtle relaxed confidence that comes from someone who knows they can hop on and ride a bike anytime they want.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Bang a hooker - the target audience is different.


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## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

^Wow MM75-that's soooo out of character!!


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## KurtG85 (Sep 19, 2008)

Aaaah the irony. Take note.


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

Go with your sister to a gay club that is not lesbian predominant. IMO straight girls at gay clubs are ready to go. You and your sister could pickup some girls and bring them home.

;-)


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Still Waters said:


> ^Wow MM75-that's soooo out of character!!


Haha, it is a inside joke 

Still funny!


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

KurtG85 said:


> Its like riding a bike i think man. We are not going to exude the confidence that we know how to ride until we have gone through the necessary learning trials of falling on our face over and over again many times. The key is persistence, exactly like you said, otherwise we never learn. Just like anything else, the ability to participate in and enjoy socialization in a relaxed manner comes naturally to some and not so much for others. The key is to keep getting on the bike until it gets easier to the point where, while you might not have the natural outgoingness that in our culture tends to attract throngs of people, you are not expending so much energy stressing out about whether your doing it right that you can actually enjoy the ride.
> 
> I had a real ladies-man kinda guy Sicilian friend who told me that persistence was exactly the secret that led to his success with women. He said he'd approach 20 women and get flat out rejected by 15 to 18 of them regularly. I think its another helpful bit of info to realize, if you didn't already know, that every woman you talk to you are flattering on a subconscious level. For whatever socio/cultural/psychological/physical reason they might decide to reject you over, which we of course usually shouldn't worry about, they cannot help but feeling desired by your approach. Being desired is the root of female sexuality. They are in love and aroused by the feeling of being wanted. In this way, while they may try and hide it, you are stroking their subconscious desires just by approaching them.
> 
> I believe that once you understand a bit better how the game works (rejections are a regular part of it) and you don't let them crush your confidence and cause you to give up, you suddenly begin exuding the subtle relaxed confidence that comes from someone who knows they can hop on and ride a bike anytime they want.


_
Wow, this thread has over a 1,000 views already!? Only a few posters!? lo_l

Those are some wise words and good advice. I never really thought about the subconscious ego-inflation thing with women, which can be probably true for most of us. Rejection still sucks though.

I think persistence is the big thing here. I've been thinking about this a lot though since that night and when I really look at my instances of dating and approaching and "trying", it is both disappointing but inspiring.

I think it is interesting you mention how your friend got rejected so much but kept persistent and met girls. Obviously, this is a bit common sense, but how persistent are we really? I kind of put myself through these trials and tests to see where are the boundaries; how many rejections do I have to go through before I get what I want? It is hard to say with people though because there are so many other varying factors dependent of the indivisual and every person tends to be unique, so it is hard to mark, but it helps me have a goal and something to aim for, which gives me comfort and some confidence.

I've come to figure it like this: if I set my goal to approach 10 women a night at a club, what will happen realistically? Well, to guess and put a ratio on something kind of unknowing, I would have to say I could get 4 or 5 numbers out of those 10 girls I approach. Out of those 5 numbers, 1 is interested in actually dating. So basically, I have to approach women all night and get as many numbers as I can to really have success because I have a lower than a 10 percent success rate ("success" being someone who is going to date). I realize it may sound a little degrading but this is how it is realistically, at least for me, and maybe 5 numbers a night is a good night. However, I usually don't approach 10 girls a night by a long shot...so yeah, these numbers sound about right...

Then you mention a guy who approaches 20 girls a night and what everyone sees is the outcome-the guy gets a date every night. We think to ourselves that this guy has major game or luck but we probably aren't witnessing how many women he talks to that night, or the mechanics of what he does. For some, it is work and for others it isn't to be so social. For me, it is work. But I guess good things don't come easy...?

Same thing with my sister. Since last week we have been hanging out. Since then, there hasn't been a day she hasn't hung out with her friends and she is out all the time meeting new people. What I see an outcome and not what she does between that-she is always meeting new people! It is something she enjoys doing while I am less inclined, however, so it just seems a bit overwhelming for me to achieve.

So yeah, Saturday (tomorrow) my sister is going to a girl's party and I'm going. I guess there are going to be a lot of girls there, and then afterward she said she'd be hitting up some more clubs or w/e, so of course I'm down to go. Tomorrow I'll just be asking for numbers all night. I usually get discouraged or distracted from doing so but I want to make it a top goal for the night. At the end of the night I want to count how many numbers I get in my phone. When that is done, I want to keep track of how many stay in contact verses those who lose contact. Finally, how many dates I get from a certain amount of numbers. You know, I did this on POF and get TONS of numbers but most of them lost contact very soon. I swear on everything I love, at least 20 numbers in one month and nearly all of them lead to nothing or 80% of them lost contact within the second or third attempt of contact. Crazy, right? Yes it is...

After so many rejections I tend to lose focus and drive. It is hard to stay that persistent over so many bombs, BUT....on the plus side, from personal experience I can say I've met women that way and some were my type, and some even had very good personalities but they just didn't work out. It is strange to think of how many rejections I go through before anything happens. We focus so much on the rejections we forget the CLOSE, CLOSE chances we had of making something happen. They usually happened in stages (all POF): 1) Go through LOTS of rejections to get some numbers 2) Go through LOTS of numbers to get few dates 3) Go through lots of dates... you get the picture... usually around the dating stage I am seriously burnt out and just give up at that point. In 2009, around Christmas, I had three dates in one week! Never happened to me before EVER and that was because I went through tons and tons of rejections both from phone numbers to dates to being ignored flat out in both areas...it just happened that way for me. By the time I got three dates in one week I was burnt out. Keep in mind, this was all from POF. And yet, we hear of people getting dates all the time, but how many times are they getting rejected? Who knows? All I know is that I work with what I have and those were my numbers from POF alone. Horrible success rate but success to a degree nonetheless.

Persistence is hard to do if I keep putting so much energy into it, and it is almost a lifestyle you have to adopt to meet SO many people. You have those who do it naturally because they want to, and then you have those who are like me who go a little out of their way to make it happen and it feels like work. That is the difference between most people and success. I've asked my sister how she feels about being so socially active and she says a lot of the times she forces herself into situations... THAT is interesting to me because it tells me she is also feeling the "work" it takes to be social and meet people and get rejected and all that crap that comes with it. We complain that people don't try for a lot of things but we are sometimes blind to the fact that people try HARD even when it seems they aren't. That's crazy, but also inspirational! So I guess that is normal?

I'll to post about my outing Saturday and the results when done.

P.S. I'd also like to add that probably a lot of what makes rejection so hard is the energy we use ebfore we even talk to girls! You know, the energy of thinking what to say or when to say this or that? Or the energy spent gaining the courage to call or text or approach....THOSE things are what really sucks up our energy and those are the things that delay us most of all....besides all the rejections obviously .....well, unless your a babe or something....haha


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

VanDamMan said:


> Go with your sister to a gay club that is not lesbian predominant. IMO straight girls at gay clubs are ready to go. You and your sister could pickup some girls and bring them home.
> 
> ;-)


Funny thing is, she has I haven't brought any home.... she's a PIMP I must admit.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

millenniumman75 said:


> Bang a hooker - the target audience is different.


Haha, "the target audience"...

wow, that is brilliant!


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## PaintItBlack1 (Jan 8, 2011)

I've never got the whole "go out to a club and pull a girl" thing.. To be honest, I always found by forcing my self to do that I kind of, I don't know... Didn't come across genuine? Fee;s like I'm trying to get with girls for the wrong reasons.

Any time I've ever got with any girls is when I've gone somewhere I like with some friends just to have a good night out. Not to purposely pull.. Somehow, I end up getting with someone or at least getting number out of the blue. Without really doing an awful lot. I just smile at them or do the old "hey come sit on my lap" trick haha!

But If I like the look of the girl and she seems nice I'll get a cigarette out and ask her for a light or just smile a lot. I'm rubbish with words so I rather just use nice gestures.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

PaintItBlack said:


> I've never got the whole "go out to a club and pull a girl" thing.. To be honest, I always found by forcing my self to do that I kind of, I don't know... Didn't come across genuine? Fee;s like I'm trying to get with girls for the wrong reasons.
> 
> Any time I've ever got with any girls is when I've gone somewhere I like with some friends just to have a good night out. Not to purposely pull.. Somehow, I end up getting with someone or at least getting number out of the blue. Without really doing an awful lot. I just smile at them or do the old "hey come sit on my lap" trick haha!
> 
> But If I like the look of the girl and she seems nice I'll get a cigarette out and ask her for a light or just smile a lot. I'm rubbish with words so I rather just use nice gestures.


Yeah, that is probably the easiest way to go, and I can appreciate and understand that. I'm just curious how often that happens for you? It doesn't happen often for me at all and I get impatient waiting for it. Seems like the ideal way..and really, your right, it feels so much better when it isn't forced... but i get impatient. I don't see waiting for it to be more pleasing than trying..unless there is something I am missing or do not understand.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

To be honest, it is a bit discouraging to think relationships are suppose to happen more naturally... or are they? Ugh man, idk... if that is the case I'll be single forever!


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## PaintItBlack1 (Jan 8, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> Yeah, that is probably the easiest way to go, and I can appreciate and understand that. I'm just curious how often that happens for you? It doesn't happen often for me at all and I get impatient waiting for it. Seems like the ideal way..and really, your right, it feels so much better when it isn't forced... but i get impatient. I don't see waiting for it to be more pleasing than trying..unless there is something I am missing or do not understand.


Well it doesn't happen EVERY time I got out, obviously, but It happens about 4 or 5 times a month. Sometimes only once or twice. Not a high ratio, but better than nothing! When you're having a good time you seem more relaxed and have the confidence just to make a move out of impulse instead of letting it eat away at your thought pattern all night.

I tend not to bother with girls that are amazingly hot in clubs most of them are attention seekers I've found. I tend to just go for some one that's cute with a nice body language. Silly little things catch my eye, like if she's wearing something cool that's different or she's got something a little rock n roll about her. You can sometimes tell off what she's wearing if you might have something in common with her, which makes it more comfortable to approach if she's on her own or with 1 friend. I can't deal with groups of girls I just crumble haha

My only problem is I'm terrible at sticking to something. I'll meet a nice girl get her number maybe go on a few dates, maybe have some fun then I don't stick with her. I just can't seem to commit to anything, then I feel dead bad because of it!

I've yet to have a proper relationship with someone. Up until now it's been a bit meaningless and it does get me down. Maybe it's a fault with my personality but most of the time I feel no connection.

The main thing I've found is don't purely rely clubs to meet a girl. There are girls everywhere! Shops, parties, restaurants etc... When your next out looking for a new T-shirt if you get a girl asking if you'd like help say YES! or if she's serving you at the check out drop a few compliments. It really helps keep your confidence up I find


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## backtothefuture (Nov 22, 2010)

You are comparing yourself to your sister. Be your own person.
Easy girls are always "popular".


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

backtothefuture said:


> You are comparing yourself to your sister. Be your own person.
> Easy girls are always "popular".


My sister is a lesbian butch. But thanks for trying...


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

PaintItBlack said:


> Well it doesn't happen EVERY time I got out, obviously, but It happens about 4 or 5 times a month. Sometimes only once or twice. Not a high ratio, but better than nothing! When you're having a good time you seem more relaxed and have the confidence just to make a move out of impulse instead of letting it eat away at your thought pattern all night.
> 
> I tend not to bother with girls that are amazingly hot in clubs most of them are attention seekers I've found. I tend to just go for some one that's cute with a nice body language. Silly little things catch my eye, like if she's wearing something cool that's different or she's got something a little rock n roll about her. You can sometimes tell off what she's wearing if you might have something in common with her, which makes it more comfortable to approach if she's on her own or with 1 friend. I can't deal with groups of girls I just crumble haha
> 
> ...


I think there is a lot of truth behind what your saying. You mention it happens to you 4 or 5 times a month!? You must have a pretty active social life I presume or your standards are different than mine.

You mention dropping compliments in spur of the moment situations with girls but I have found I have to keep my diligence up for that to happen and that in itself is taxing on me. I don't know, I almost feel it is more awkward to drop random compliments through daily activities than a club. I never really do the compliment thing, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to put that in my arsenal for random encounters.

Really, I just keep running around in circles coming up with the same ideas and trying the same stuff because there is really only one way to make it happen, and that is to take advantage of most opportunities. I really don't have a big social life unless I commit to it, so I guess I'll leave all avenues open.

My sister wants to go bowling again tonight....arg, can't make up her mind.


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## PaintItBlack1 (Jan 8, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> I think there is a lot of truth behind what your saying. You mention it happens to you 4 or 5 times a month!? You must have a pretty active social life I presume or your standards are different than mine.
> 
> You mention dropping compliments in spur of the moment situations with girls but I have found I have to keep my diligence up for that to happen and that in itself is taxing on me. I don't know, I almost feel it is more awkward to drop random compliments through daily activities than a club. I never really do the compliment thing, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to put that in my arsenal for random encounters.
> 
> ...


My social life isnt really majorly active because I have to work most days. (that's on a good month BTW)

I think you need to stop worrying about it so much. You could have all of the tricks of the trade and still not get anywhere with someone. If something is meant to happen it will. Just go with it. Don't let your thoughts take over. People love you for being you. I really do believe that if you start feeling good about your self people will notice and your opportunities open up more. There's no pressure to go and get with some one because you NEED to. You really dont. It's just forcing something out of your character. Maybe you're just looking for the right girl and not a casual fling?

When you're next out try not to think about girls or getting as many numbers as you can. Relax and enjoy the company your in & if you see a girl that catches your eye smile at her a few times and read her reaction. You'll know if she wants you to come over and talk.. It might work, it may not. Just stay true to who you are. To put it bluntly some of us just don't have that natural gift to go woo every lady we see. I know I don't.
And to some extent I'm glad I dont!


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

PaintItBlack said:


> My social life isnt really majorly active because I have to work most days. (that's on a good month BTW)
> 
> I think you need to stop worrying about it so much. You could have all of the tricks of the trade and still not get anywhere with someone. If something is meant to happen it will. Just go with it. Don't let your thoughts take over. People love you for being you. I really do believe that if you start feeling good about your self people will notice and your opportunities open up more. There's no pressure to go and get with some one because you NEED to. You really dont. It's just forcing something out of your character. Maybe you're just looking for the right girl and not a casual fling?
> 
> ...


Those are some powerful and true words you speak of and I can appreciate them. What you say makes sense to me and that's how I'd prefer it to happen, but it just doesn't seem to work that way for me, and if it does then it is like a few times a year, max. It is the impatience that gets to me, but I will think about what you said because it does have a lot of truth to it.


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## Yella (Sep 27, 2010)

bwidger85 said:


> Persistence is hard to do if I keep putting so much energy into it, and it is almost a lifestyle you have to adopt to meet SO many people. You have those who do it naturally because they want to, and then you have those who are like me who go a little out of their way to make it happen and it feels like work. That is the difference between most people and success. I've asked my sister how she feels about being so socially active and she says a lot of the times she forces herself into situations... THAT is interesting to me because it tells me she is also feeling the "work" it takes to be social and meet people and get rejected and all that crap that comes with it. We complain that people don't try for a lot of things but we are sometimes blind to the fact that people try HARD even when it seems they aren't. That's crazy, but also inspirational! So I guess that is normal?


Interesting, I just had a conversation about this with my BF after I whined to him about not having a good time at a meetup I went to last night. He simply told me I have to keep trying and let it happen. I need to be persistent and assertive in order to see results.

Like your sister, if he goes somewhere and there's a group of people he wants to talk to he identifies the one person that seems to be more open and approaches them. Once he's chatted them up for a few minutes then he just "bulldogs" his way into the group. The rest of the group welcomes him in, from that moment he's instantly made 3 or 4 new friends. But he has a great personality, charisma, & self-esteem to do this type of thing, I don't. He loves doing it, and it is very natural for him. For me, it IS like work, very, very hard painful work. I hate it. And I don't want to do it. But I know after talking to him, that's it's the only way I will meet people & lessen my SA, cause I can't expect them to come up to me every time. And I can't expect my SA to disappear without exposing myself to these situations.


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## PaintItBlack1 (Jan 8, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> Those are some powerful and true words you speak of and I can appreciate them. What you say makes sense to me and that's how I'd prefer it to happen, but it just doesn't seem to work that way for me, and if it does then it is like a few times a year, max. It is the impatience that gets to me, but I will think about what you said because it does have a lot of truth to it.


Hmm well maybe it's an assertive thing or maybe you're stopping your self from engaging any potential situations to develop? Do you normally speak to a couple different girls when your out? If so what do you say? How do they react? What's your normal pattern of actions?


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## DoggerycreedS (Jan 5, 2011)

*Best Top Rate*

Test posting...


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Yella said:


> Interesting, I just had a conversation about this with my BF after I whined to him about not having a good time at a meetup I went to last night. He simply told me I have to keep trying and let it happen. I need to be persistent and assertive in order to see results.
> 
> Like your sister, if he goes somewhere and there's a group of people he wants to talk to he identifies the one person that seems to be more open and approaches them. Once he's chatted them up for a few minutes then he just "bulldogs" his way into the group. The rest of the group welcomes him in, from that moment he's instantly made 3 or 4 new friends. But he has a great personality, charisma, & self-esteem to do this type of thing, I don't. He loves doing it, and it is very natural for him. For me, it IS like work, very, very hard painful work. I hate it. And I don't want to do it. But I know after talking to him, that's it's the only way I will meet people & lessen my SA, cause I can't expect them to come up to me every time. And I can't expect my SA to disappear without exposing myself to these situations.


Yeah, it is always good to go out of your comfort zone. I'm in limbo whether or not it is beneficial with approaches or not because I'm past the stage of "learning" how to do it. I do think I need to learn how to take rejection less harshly and work on being a tad more assertive though.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

PaintItBlack said:


> Hmm well maybe it's an assertive thing or maybe you're stopping your self from engaging any potential situations to develop? Do you normally speak to a couple different girls when your out? If so what do you say? How do they react? What's your normal pattern of actions?


I don't usually speak to more than two girls when I'm out, so I do think that has a part to do with it, and even though I'd like to admit I can do things (which I can), I often hesitate or lose motivation, which is also a problem I suppose. So yeah, I guess I need to be more assertive and stay focused.

Well, that one night I went out with my sister I approached a group of three girls. They were standing right by me and they didn't look lesbian (who knows really with some girls) so I just walked up and was like, "Hey, I'm Brice. How are you ladies doing tonight?" I didn't stutter or anything but I may have interrupted their conversation, but heck, it's a club, ya know? Who doesn't have interruptions at a club? Anyway, so I said that and one girl seriously looked annoyed and replied, "We're lesbian", and I felt pretty blown off by it so I think I just said, "Oh, my bad. I'm Brice btw. What's your names?" I probably shouldn't of said that but I did. They told me their names and then that one girl was like, "awkwaaaard", and I replied around the lines of, "Yeah, it usually is." Lol. Then my friend tried to talk to them and I just stood back disinterested because I didn't want to appear creepy and plus I was rejected, so yeah. Needless to say, he got rejected to. Those girls really didn't appear to be lesbian, and I really think I just got rejected with a lie, but that is how it goes. I can't blame girls though...they have to say something if they aren't interested, so w/e.

Biggest mistake was just not approaching anymore girls that night. Although I did dance with one girl but she was hammered and sloppy as hell so I didn't advance with anything.


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## PaintItBlack1 (Jan 8, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> I don't usually speak to more than two girls when I'm out, so I do think that has a part to do with it, and even though I'd like to admit I can do things (which I can), I often hesitate or lose motivation, which is also a problem I suppose. So yeah, I guess I need to be more assertive and stay focused.
> 
> Well, that one night I went out with my sister I approached a group of three girls. They were standing right by me and they didn't look lesbian (who knows really with some girls) so I just walked up and was like, "Hey, I'm Brice. How are you ladies doing tonight?" I didn't stutter or anything but I may have interrupted their conversation, but heck, it's a club, ya know? Who doesn't have interruptions at a club? Anyway, so I said that and one girl seriously looked annoyed and replied, "We're lesbian", and I felt pretty blown off by it so I think I just said, "Oh, my bad. I'm Brice btw. What's your names?" I probably shouldn't of said that but I did. They told me their names and then that one girl was like, "awkwaaaard", and I replied around the lines of, "Yeah, it usually is." Lol. Then my friend tried to talk to them and I just stood back disinterested because I didn't want to appear creepy and plus I was rejected, so yeah. Needless to say, he got rejected to. Those girls really didn't appear to be lesbian, and I really think I just got rejected with a lie, but that is how it goes. I can't blame girls though...they have to say something if they aren't interested, so w/e.
> 
> Biggest mistake was just not approaching anymore girls that night. Although I did dance with one girl but she was hammered and sloppy as hell so I didn't advance with anything.


It's not normaly a good idea to aproach a group of girls if they havent aknowleged you before hand. I wouldnt reccomend it myself! It's normaly better if you talk to one first an be introduced. If you kind of pop up out of no where and interupt them they will be a little wierded out unless youre asking for a lighter or somthing...

The good thing is you did it, which shows you do have the confidence! Once you ge used to that kind of situation you'll get over the rejection part and learn how to handle them easier. It's a horrible process somtimes. You have nothing to be disheartend about!

Like I said before try not to force your self too much.

It's better to be thinking:
" She's caught my eye, seems cute. Should I go over now? Or pick my moment? ... I'll be polite, greet her with a compliment! Then talk to her about her, make her feel good" etc...

Rather than: 
"I need to go approach those girls, right I'm gonna do it... Ok here I go!"

If she's nice she'll be polite in saying "no sorry" If she isn't then well, she's better off with some one equally as horrible!

On a random note : I had a strange night out on Saturday at our local club. I was walking to the toilet and I got stopped by this girl and she asked me for my socks... (She looked abit drunk & ****ty tbh...) so I said "why do you need my socks?" in which she replied "To get home" so I look down at her feet & said "Well you still have your shoes, maybe you should get a taxi?" .. My lord she went ape at me, called me all the names under-the-sun then stormed off! Feared for my life! haha


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

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bwidger85 said:


> I don't usually speak to more than two girls when I'm out, so I do think that has a part to do with it, and even though I'd like to admit I can do things (which I can), I often hesitate or lose motivation, which is also a problem I suppose. So yeah, I guess I need to be more assertive and stay focused.
> 
> Well, that one night I went out with my sister I approached a group of three girls. They were standing right by me and they didn't look lesbian (who knows really with some girls) so I just walked up and was like, "Hey, I'm Brice. How are you ladies doing tonight?" I didn't stutter or anything but I may have interrupted their conversation, but heck, it's a club, ya know? Who doesn't have interruptions at a club? Anyway, so I said that and one girl seriously looked annoyed and replied, "We're lesbian", and I felt pretty blown off by it so I think I just said, "Oh, my bad. I'm Brice btw. What's your names?" I probably shouldn't of said that but I did. They told me their names and then that one girl was like, "awkwaaaard", and I replied around the lines of, "Yeah, it usually is." Lol. Then my friend tried to talk to them and I just stood back disinterested because I didn't want to appear creepy and plus I was rejected, so yeah. Needless to say, he got rejected to. Those girls really didn't appear to be lesbian, and I really think I just got rejected with a lie, but that is how it goes. I can't blame girls though...they have to say something if they aren't interested, so w/e.
> 
> Biggest mistake was just not approaching anymore girls that night. Although I did dance with one girl but she was hammered and sloppy as hell so I didn't advance with anything.


You didn't get rejected. One thing you did though was respond to the 'we are lesbians' comment like it mattered. Why apologise for approaching these girls just because they say they are or are gay? The rest of the interaction may have gone off course because it resembled pick up gone wrong rather than a simple attempt to be social with people. Nightclubs are a pain for me. I'm more of a day game, bars, coffee shop guy. But this is so cool, man. Really respect you for working on this and doing this. It's ok to be where you are and develop naturally. We r in similar places in terms of development on this kind of thing. But don't you come over to the uk and start gaming. There'd be no girls left for me. Lol. Keep posting how you're getting on


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

Oh, and check out day game.com. That's without spaces. Great resource.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

joinmartin said:


> ```
> 
> ```
> You didn't get rejected. One thing you did though was respond to the 'we are lesbians' comment like it mattered. Why apologise for approaching these girls just because they say they are or are gay? The rest of the interaction may have gone off course because it resembled pick up gone wrong rather than a simple attempt to be social with people. Nightclubs are a pain for me. I'm more of a day game, bars, coffee shop guy. But this is so cool, man. Really respect you for working on this and doing this. It's ok to be where you are and develop naturally. We r in similar places in terms of development on this kind of thing. But don't you come over to the uk and start gaming. There'd be no girls left for me. Lol. Keep posting how you're getting on


It was the way she said it that I apologized. She had her eyes rolled up and to the left as if she was seriously annoyed that I even said hello. If she hadn't of done that and said something polite back like "hello" I wouldn't of apologized. I just don't like being insensitive to girls who obviously don't care about me lol. I'm not pushing a girl to talk to me....screw that...

I really don't want to come off as I'm "picking anyone" up. Actually, I'd rather prefer it to be a conversation so I can get a rapport with the girl but in clubs that can be tricky to do-real tricky to do, actually, but w/e, ya know? I've tried talking to girls everywhere. A lot of it depends on more than one factor..although bars and clubs probably don't help me much in that department....w/e...

Day game, eh? Hm. I never seen this before. I'll check it out. I've seen 'em all man lol. Everything from the sleazy to the genuine. People are more open at these kinds of places. I just usually don't go to these places because walking around not interested in anything just waiting for a girl feels strange and energy consuming for me (still, I've done it before lol). I'll check out the site. It is always good to get some motivation and incentive  Thanks!

If your really bored and interested in some of the crap I've done in the past you should check out my blogs...a lot of stuff I wrote in there about the stuff I did trying to meet girls! lol. I deleted some of it though so not all of it is there but nonetheless it is interesting and shows what I've been through.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

PaintItBlack said:


> It's not normaly a good idea to aproach a group of girls if they havent aknowleged you before hand. I wouldnt reccomend it myself! It's normaly better if you talk to one first an be introduced. If you kind of pop up out of no where and interupt them they will be a little wierded out unless youre asking for a lighter or somthing...
> 
> The good thing is you did it, which shows you do have the confidence! Once you ge used to that kind of situation you'll get over the rejection part and learn how to handle them easier. It's a horrible process somtimes. You have nothing to be disheartend about!
> 
> ...


Thanks man. I guess I'll just have to keep an eye out more when I'm out. Haha, sorry about your socks story.


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## Black_Widow (May 23, 2008)

joinmartin said:


> You didn't get rejected.


Not thinking that's necessarily correct. Firstly, I once knew a female who admitted to me she regularly went out of her way to give the impression to guys she was gay (though it wasn't true) when going out to clubs with friends for girls nights out, so that they would get bothered less by guys trying to pull. Secondly, I've also been in the position of having guys come up and try to chat me up at times when I've been out for the evening with a female friend in the past - but at times have resorted to telling white lies - such as that we were waiting to meet our partners who were about to turn up. It was our way of rejecting them, but in a way that we felt wouldn't be likely to offend. It's not uncommon in the part of the UK I'm from, for some guys to resort to aggressive/abusive treatment if you outright tell them you're not interested in that kind of situation. So that's pretty much why we used to do it. Plus I think it'd be pretty unlikely for any woman to resort to throwing a comment such as "we're lesbian" in response to a guy who'd just casually offered his name and asked how she was doing unless she'd already suspected this to be a chat up line, whether she was an actual lesbian or not, and wanted the person to know that was a no go area.



bwidger85 said:


> It was the way she said it that I apologized. She had her eyes rolled up and to the left as if she was seriously annoyed that I even said hello. If she hadn't of done that and said something polite back like "hello" I wouldn't of apologized. I just don't like being insensitive to girls who obviously don't care about me lol. I'm not pushing a girl to talk to me....screw that...


From a female point of view, it definitely sounds to me from what you said there that in that instance that woman was strongly signalling she wasn't interested - in either a conversation or in anything else. Although at the same time, definitely sounds to me like the reason she did so had much more to do with her than anything you did. She might have been on a girls evening out and wasn't interested in male company. She might have assumed you were a pushy type (without considering at the time that might not be true) she might just be a rude person in general and might have treated virtually anyone she'd never talked to before in the same way in that kind of situation. Whichever it was, I personally think you had good reason to believe she wasn't interested. But also suggest you don't give up and keep trying to talk to other women! Maybe take a step back and try this on a one-one-one basis to start with to build up your confidence, before moving onto more challenging situations. While some women out there might reject your approach - often for reasons which have nothing to do with you - this won't be the case with everyone out there. Wishing you good luck! And congrats for making that initial big step!


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

It's not really a rejection so much as a 'don't talk to me right now'. It may be she didn't want to talk at all to him. But the girl had no idea who he was so it's more of a not wanting to talk issue. In this sense the interaction got rejected. He didn't. I've dated girls who told me they were gay when I first approached them, I've dated bi girls too. But interesting enlightening points nonetheless.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Black_Widow said:


> Not thinking that's necessarily correct. Firstly, I once knew a female who admitted to me she regularly went out of her way to give the impression to guys she was gay (though it wasn't true) when going out to clubs with friends for girls nights out, so that they would get bothered less by guys trying to pull. Secondly, I've also been in the position of having guys come up and try to chat me up at times when I've been out for the evening with a female friend in the past - but at times have resorted to telling white lies - such as that we were waiting to meet our partners who were about to turn up. It was our way of rejecting them, but in a way that we felt wouldn't be likely to offend. It's not uncommon in the part of the UK I'm from, for some guys to resort to aggressive/abusive treatment if you outright tell them you're not interested in that kind of situation. So that's pretty much why we used to do it. Plus I think it'd be pretty unlikely for any woman to resort to throwing a comment such as "we're lesbian" in response to a guy who'd just casually offered his name and asked how she was doing unless she'd already suspected this to be a chat up line, whether she was an actual lesbian or not, and wanted the person to know that was a no go area.
> 
> From a female point of view, it definitely sounds to me from what you said there that in that instance that woman was strongly signalling she wasn't interested - in either a conversation or in anything else. Although at the same time, definitely sounds to me like the reason she did so had much more to do with her than anything you did. She might have been on a girls evening out and wasn't interested in male company. She might have assumed you were a pushy type (without considering at the time that might not be true) she might just be a rude person in general and might have treated virtually anyone she'd never talked to before in the same way in that kind of situation. Whichever it was, I personally think you had good reason to believe she wasn't interested. But also suggest you don't give up and keep trying to talk to other women! Maybe take a step back and try this on a one-one-one basis to start with to build up your confidence, before moving onto more challenging situations. While some women out there might reject your approach - often for reasons which have nothing to do with you - this won't be the case with everyone out there. Wishing you good luck! And congrats for making that initial big step!


I really agree with you. Whether it was a rejection on me or the conversation or w/e it was, it was rejection nonetheless, and that is fine really. As a guy, I think rejection is the name of the game, and for many women as well. It comes with the territory.

I remember last year going out to the local bars on Fridays and Saturdays and doing approaches ("approaches" sound weird, but that's what they are lol) and most of the time I got rejected nearly in the same manner as I did in that story I told you. At least 90%-blam! Girls will either ignore you or send messed-up vibes to you telling you to go away...I even had some make fun of me and everything, and I'm not making this up but it happened probably 80-90% of the time of like 3 or 4 approaches a night, which I guess isn't too much, but still... It's crazy lol. To be honest, it is rare to find a girl who actually wants to chat unless your on cloud nine and just super energetic and exciting. It is real, real rare. Nonetheless, I HAVE talked to a few that were like that in bars, but it definitely doesn't happen often and sometimes I really don't get it.

Funny thing is, when I was younger with long hair the girls would chase me! Now I'm the dude who can't get a date lol! I think there are a lot of factors involved... but if anyone knows me here they know I'm pretty stubborn. I do think I need to step my game up. 2 or 3 approaches a night just isn't sufficient enough for me. I'd love to come back and just share my experiences with you guys to show the *positives of it all. I guess more persistence? Will find out... eh, maybe more frustration? who knows? duh duh duuuuuuuum


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Wait, did I say 80-90% rejection rate from 3-4 approaches a night? Haha, that is closer to 100%.

I'd really like to do an experiment and approach 10 girls one night to see the outcome. I'll probably end up getting a few numbers but they won't lead to nothing. I was planning on approaching someone and then soon afterward text myself the results to keep track.


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

Two ex girlfriends told me to go away when I first met them. I am all for responding in the moment but being told to go away when you first approach isn't really the same as a full on romantic rejection. If I tell a man outside my window to go away because he and his dog r annoying me, have I rejected him romantically? Have I rejected all he is? Do I never want to see that man and his dog again? Or have I just reacted on the spur of the moment without thinking? 

I find a lot of girls are open to me chatting to them randomly. But I am treating every interaction as a chance to develop my rapport skills. Doesn't matter how it goes. Learned a lot from the day game people and there podcasts are extensive and free and so r their videos.


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## Black_Widow (May 23, 2008)

joinmartin said:


> It's not really a rejection so much as a 'don't talk to me right now'. It may be she didn't want to talk at all to him. But the girl had no idea who he was so it's more of a not wanting to talk issue.


Interesting point. But all the same, I don't see how anything about that woman's specific response suggested that! Not dismissing it as being a possibility. But then I'd say it's every bit as much of a possibility - and even a more likely one - that this was a verbal rejection of his company, going by what was described about the situation.



joinmartin said:


> In this sense the interaction got rejected. He didn't. I've dated girls who told me they were gay when I first approached them, I've dated bi girls too.


Admittedly I could have phrased this better (my apologies for not thinking to do so!) But actually this is the same as what I meant - that I believe this was an interaction rejection! What I didn't so much agree with before, was what seemed to me to be your previous implication that it was how the poster of this thread handled the rest of the conversation that had a negative impact on the outcome. If the woman had responded in a more socially interested way at the start, and then it was afterwards that the subject of lesbians came up and it had been handled that way, to suddenly be followed by a less enthuastic response from the woman I'd agree. But as things were, it sounds to me like she just made up her mind from the beginning she wasn't interested in engaging in a conversation at all - which tells me that whatever was talked about from then on most likely made little 
- if any - further difference to the outcome.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

joinmartin said:


> Two ex girlfriends told me to go away when I first met them. I am all for responding in the moment but being told to go away when you first approach isn't really the same as a full on romantic rejection. If I tell a man outside my window to go away because he and his dog r annoying me, have I rejected him romantically? Have I rejected all he is? Do I never want to see that man and his dog again? Or have I just reacted on the spur of the moment without thinking?
> 
> I find a lot of girls are open to me chatting to them randomly. But I am treating every interaction as a chance to develop my rapport skills. Doesn't matter how it goes. Learned a lot from the day game people and there podcasts are extensive and free and so r their videos.


You do have a point that I agree with to an extent but I'll never talk to these girls again after that first interaction so I take it as a rejection. With your explanation, I didn't really look at it that way though. I'll think about what you said but for now I got to go to work...


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## Black_Widow (May 23, 2008)

bwidger85 said:


> I really agree with you. Whether it was a rejection on me or the conversation or w/e it was, it was rejection nonetheless, and that is fine really. As a guy, I think rejection is the name of the game, and for many women as well. It comes with the territory.
> 
> I remember last year going out to the local bars on Fridays and Saturdays and doing approaches ("approaches" sound weird, but that's what they are lol) and most of the time I got rejected nearly in the same manner as I did in that story I told you. At least 90%-blam! Girls will either ignore you or send messed-up vibes to you telling you to go away...I even had some make fun of me and everything, and I'm not making this up but it happened probably 80-90% of the time of like 3 or 4 approaches a night, which I guess isn't too much, but still... It's crazy lol. To be honest, it is rare to find a girl who actually wants to chat unless your on cloud nine and just super energetic and exciting. It is real, real rare. Nonetheless, I HAVE talked to a few that were like that in bars, but it definitely doesn't happen often and sometimes I really don't get it.
> 
> Funny thing is, when I was younger with long hair the girls would chase me! Now I'm the dude who can't get a date lol! I think there are a lot of factors involved... but if anyone knows me here they know I'm pretty stubborn. I do think I need to step my game up. 2 or 3 approaches a night just isn't sufficient enough for me. I'd love to come back and just share my experiences with you guys to show the *positives of it all. I guess more persistence? Will find out... eh, maybe more frustration? who knows? duh duh duuuuuuuum


I'm in no doubt that what you say is true! I think unfortunately it's often the case that some women get easily intimidated in those situations - because they tend to immediately assume that if a guy is trying to make casual conversation, it's because he's only after sex or else is a creep. Because unfortunately at times there are guys out there that act genuinely over clingy or pushy, it tends to make them paranoid and they start to assume it's like that with guys for most of the time in that kind of situation. It doesn't occur to them that some guys really do mean well and aren't like that. I feel pretty bad to admit that when I was younger I fell into those ways of thinking. Although at the same time would never have dreamed of being rude to anyone just because they came up and made a bit of conversation. I remember there was a time when I went out for a pub evening with a friend and she was, and I really felt bad for the guy. He'd been sitting in a chair at a table on his own looking in our direction for some time, and then suddenly came up to our table and asked if he could sit with us. As my friend and I were in the middle of a private conversation, I did feel at the time this was a bit of an intrusion. But was racking my brains to try to think up a polite response, as hadn't experienced a situation like it before and was stuck for words to say, when she more or less just shot at him really aggressively "we're not interested, can you just leave us alone?" He looked pretty upset at the time and I felt really mean/embarrassed. Even though I'd not personally said the comment. I did feel sorry for him. Unfortunately assertive behaviour has never been a strong point of mine. And at the time I didn't tell my friend I thought she'd been unecessarily rude/harsh - though I wanted to. Looking back I really wish I had on that occasion. I'm sure it must be a hard thing for alot of guys, going out to meet women in a bar or club environment. Even for plenty of those without social anxiety!

Again wishing you luck with your progress. It takes alot of courage to do what you're doing. Hoping that the approach increase soon brings you more positive experiences!


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Black_Widow said:


> I'm in no doubt that what you say is true! I think unfortunately it's often the case that some women get easily intimidated in those situations - because they tend to immediately assume that if a guy is trying to make casual conversation, it's because he's only after sex or else is a creep. Because unfortunately at times there are guys out there that act genuinely over clingy or pushy, it tends to make them paranoid and they start to assume it's like that with guys for most of the time in that kind of situation. It doesn't occur to them that some guys really do mean well and aren't like that. I feel pretty bad to admit that when I was younger I fell into those ways of thinking. Although at the same time would never have dreamed of being rude to anyone just because they came up and made a bit of conversation. I remember there was a time when I went out for a pub evening with a friend and she was, and I really felt bad for the guy. He'd been sitting in a chair at a table on his own looking in our direction for some time, and then suddenly came up to our table and asked if he could sit with us. As my friend and I were in the middle of a private conversation, I did feel at the time this was a bit of an intrusion. But was racking my brains to try to think up a polite response, as hadn't experienced a situation like it before and was stuck for words to say, when she more or less just shot at him really aggressively "we're not interested, can you just leave us alone?" He looked pretty upset at the time and I felt really mean/embarrassed. Even though I'd not personally said the comment. I did feel sorry for him. Unfortunately assertive behaviour has never been a strong point of mine. And at the time I didn't tell my friend I thought she'd been unecessarily rude/harsh - though I wanted to. Looking back I really wish I had on that occasion. I'm sure it must be a hard thing for alot of guys, going out to meet women in a bar or club environment. Even for plenty of those without social anxiety!
> 
> Again wishing you luck with your progress. It takes alot of courage to do what you're doing. Hoping that the approach increase soon brings you more positive experiences!


Thanks for your support! Interesting story to hear the other side of things lol


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## Black_Widow (May 23, 2008)

No probs at all ;-)

I'm probably one of the last people who should give advice! As I've never gone out of my way to approach anybody I don't know conversation wise in a nightclub or bar. But would say if you keep getting rejections - which you're bound to every now and then - would advise trying to bear in mind that when it happens it's probably nowhere near as personal as it seems - though appreciating that's easier said than done. ;-) If it's any consolation, during all of the times I've ever rejected a guys conversation in that kind of setting it was never anything to do with the guy personally. It was for reasons that were actually nothing to do with them. Firstly, I was already in a relationship and so wasn't looking to hook up with a guy in a club/bar to begin with. Secondly, as back then I still had social anxiety (just didn't know it at the time) which is partly fueled by a pretty deep rooted mistrust of people I don't already know personally - I felt too intimidated to take the chance that the guys might just be after a bit of friendly conversation and that was all there was too it. But that problem was mine. It wasn't anything they did. It was my biased beliefs and attitudes that led to me not wanting to have a prolonged conversation with them. And I believe that most likely it was that kind of case with that girl who came out with that 'lesbian' comment. Women sometimes automatically use that kind of thing as a defense mechanism, because even though it might not be outwardly obvious to the guy, inside they're feeling intimidated and suspicious for reasons that aren't obvious. Although at the same time that doesn't happen with all women!


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Yeah, I can understand that coming from a woman. I'd probably do the same things a lot.

Funny though, I had a LONG conversation with my sister about this last night. I asked her everything that was on my mind and it basically boiled down to her thinking I'm too direct. I really don't know what to believe because I watch my sister pull girls all night if she wanted to (in NO way am I making it up either). Idk, I won't go out again till Monday probably but I'm going to take my sister's advice... I figure I got nothing to lose. She basically wants me to do things a certain way like order a girl a drink from across the bar and then when the girl looks at me just smile or something but not approach. Then she goes on to talk about just watch what that girl does and watch if she watches me for a while after that and if she catches my eye more than a couple of times and holds it for an extended amount of time that is when I approach (something like that)...you know, just like weird **** like that lol. I figure, to hell with it I might as well try. It'd be nuts to see how a different approach may do something completely different and if my sister's advice works then I'm going to be listening to her more often! She says that is the easiest way to indirectly attract a girl at a bar. Deep **** man, I don't know jk lol. She has her mindset on things on I got my own so it is a little different but I see her pull girls all night and she ain't even all that looking or anything so she has game, for sure.

I don't if she is so confident in herself that she can make anything happen or what but I think some of the things she says are a little too black and white... like she will often say things like, "ALL girls are like that"...but I don't know about that one because i've seen otherwise...or she'll say something that sounds to generalized to be true about anyone...so I don't know what it is about her really. All I know is that if I go I need to do something. Screw it.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

It all comes down to the confidence issue, as usual. If you exude confidence, you'll get there. Just take baby steps.


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