# Where do babies come from?



## zookeeper (Jun 3, 2009)

I missed that day in health class so I've always wondered: where _do_ babies come from?

I chose other, because I firmly believe that babies are hyper-intelligent messengers from the future sent back to warn us of the dangers of walking upright. But how soon they forget and join in our bipedal debauchery.

I can't be the only one that thinks that, right?


----------



## steelmyhead (May 31, 2009)

The Watterson lawyers will be here in 3..2..1....


----------



## OneIsALonelyNumber (Mar 28, 2005)

I'm pretty sure babies come from under the cabbage patch leaf. If the baby is left there too long, it turns into a doll and you can buy it at Target.


----------



## homer (Nov 23, 2008)

Obviously babies come from storks, or at least that is what I was told. Now I'm older I realize a stork isn't strong enough to fly while carrying a baby. Is there anything bigger than a stork?


----------



## VCL XI (Jan 19, 2004)

Wonder Showzen said:


> Carelessness.


.


----------



## LoneLioness (Nov 16, 2003)

The hospital gift shop


----------



## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

Ebay


----------



## Freedom2010 (Jan 29, 2009)

the stork from amazon.com


----------



## Hank Scorpio (Oct 28, 2008)

Reminds me of the Addams Family movie. I don't remember exactly but they're sittting in the waiting room and another little girl's talking about storks and crap and Wednesday says "Our parents are having a baby too. They had sex."


----------



## veron (Apr 29, 2009)

I don't know about the rest, but I'm pretty sure I came to be from asexual cellular division, that happened on another planet. And then a stork brought me to my mom and dad.


----------



## MissMay1977 (Oct 25, 2008)

They come from their momma!


----------



## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

*Other*

I believe that they come directly from God, that God chooses the soul that will inhabit the physical bodies of our children. That this soul is the child and that each of us are our soul, not the shell that it dwells in or the job that we have or the clothes that we wear. I believe that God knows each of us throughout eternity - that we have always existed and have just awaited the day that His Will permits us to have our human bodily shell.

I believe that he has already chosen which soul will be born to each woman and that the procreative act determines the genetics of the shell that we dwell in and the physical aspects of our bodies and minds.

As an example... if my son's father did not help me create my son's body, then someone else would have... it would have been the same soul - but in a different body because he/she would have still been the child that God chose for me to give birth too.

That my Free Will determines the choices I make to determine when that child will be born -- if I use my Free Will to be selfish and impatient then my son will be (and was) born into a harder life/situation than had to be. If I had followed God's Will and been patient then he would have been born into an easier situation and life wouldn't be so hard.

However, the Grace of God permits me to be a good mom, and him a great son because that is what our souls are (good) and as long as we follow His Will we can overcome the obstacles that are our life and focus on the love and all of the things that we have and not dwell on what we don't have.

JMHO

Also, I believe that man is absolutely necessary to creation... God created Adam first but that he made Eve to bear the children - to work the miracles of life. Man is created to protect, provide for, and love women at all costs... to co-create babies, and to bring all of the good characteristics of himself forward into his children... Women are to bear children, to nurture, protect and care for them and her husband all the days of her life. When either man or woman is unable to do this I believe they are called to support the others that can... or to work within society to make it a better place for those children to grow up and live. Not all people are called to have children but we are all called to make the lives of others better and to create a better society in which we all live.


----------



## Toad Licker (Nov 2, 2007)

I was found under a rock, my brother came from the milkman and my other brother well we're not really sure where he came from. :um


----------



## VCL XI (Jan 19, 2004)

Toad Licker said:


> my brother came from the milkman


----------



## proximo20 (Nov 25, 2006)

for angelina, madonna etc... from Africa


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Don't forget Octomom.


----------



## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

They are produced when teen girls get totally drunk.


----------



## Jnmcda0 (Nov 28, 2003)

They come from Amazon.com...

http://www.amazon.com/Kiddopotamus-...e=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1248025044&sr=8-13

Amazon also sells...

Uranium - http://www.amazon.com/Uranium-Ore/d..._2?ie=UTF8&s=industrial&qid=1248025169&sr=8-2

Dead rabbits - http://www.amazon.com/Cloverdale-Fr...=sr_1_12?ie=UTF8&s=hpc&qid=1248025291&sr=8-12

Tanks - http://www.amazon.com/JL421-Badonkadonk-Land-Cruiser-Tank/dp/B00067F1CE/ref=pd_sbs_hpc_9

Wedding Chapels - http://www.amazon.com/Wedding-Chapel-10-Wood-Roof/dp/B000HUQ1C4/ref=pd_sbs_hpc_3

Bacon-flavored mints - http://www.amazon.com/Accoutrements...vored-Mints/dp/B0017T0X9G/ref=pd_sim_dbs_k_38

The leg lamp from a Christmas Story - http://www.amazon.com/Christmas-Story-40-Lamp-Large/dp/B000LT8J0S/ref=pd_sim_t_15


----------



## zookeeper (Jun 3, 2009)

You can also ship out via online purchase, if you so desire...

http://www.costco.com/Common/Category.aspx?cat=20595&eCat=BC|20595&lang=en-US&whse=BC&topnav=


----------



## SilentLoner (Jan 30, 2006)

From the supermarket. I see people with babies in their carts all the time. I can never find that aisle though...


----------



## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

SilentLoner said:


> From the supermarket. I see people with babies in their carts all the time. I can never find that aisle though...


They're in the Baby aisle of course. You can even find them in many different forms. Powder, oil, formula, etc.


----------



## seanybhoy (Mar 2, 2008)

Your mum


----------



## WinterDave (Dec 5, 2003)

homer said:


> Obviously babies come from storks, or at least that is what I was told. Now I'm older I realize a stork isn't strong enough to fly while carrying a baby. Is there anything bigger than a stork?


http://d21c.com/AAALynx/dino/Pterodactyl4.jpg


----------



## Amelia (Nov 24, 2003)

Great poll! :lol


----------



## mind_games (Nov 30, 2008)

Where do babies come from.... Broken condoms, retard sex, impulse sex, virgin pregnancies and a few from planned sexual encounters. In that order I believe .


----------



## eileenAKAmommy (Jul 7, 2009)

Amazon.com .... you can get everything from there!


----------



## No-Sturm-und-Drang (Jan 21, 2009)

humping


----------



## unusual condition (Jun 17, 2009)

from my ***


----------



## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

why worry about the past.?


----------



## Spangles Muldoon (Jan 5, 2005)

When my baby sister arrived, my mother had been overweight for several months, and then she suddenly lost most of her excess weight. I think babies arrive via liposuction.


----------



## Jnmcda0 (Nov 28, 2003)

homer said:


> Obviously babies come from storks, or at least that is what I was told. Now I'm older I realize a stork isn't strong enough to fly while carrying a baby. Is there anything bigger than a stork?


Me (at age 5): Mom, where do babies come from?
Mom: They are brought by the stork.
Me: How can a stork carry a baby?
Mom: It could grip it by the torso.
Me: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A 20 ounce bird could not carry a 7 pound baby!
Mom: We'll it doesn't matter. Go and tell your father it is time for dinner.
Me: Listen, in order to maintain air-speed velocity, a stork needs to beat its wings 12 times every second, right?
Mom: Please, get ready for dinner.
Me: Am I right?
Mom: I'm not interested.
Brother: It could be carried by an African stork.
Me: An African stork, maybe, but not an American stork, that's my point.
Brother: Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
Mom: Will you go and tell your father it is time for dinner?
Me: But, of course, African storks are non-migratory.
Brother: Oh, yeah.
Me: So they couldn't bring a baby back anyway...
Brother: Wait a minute...suppose two storks carried it together?
Me: No, they'd have to have it on a line.
Brother: Well, simple! They'd just use a standard creeper!
Me: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
Brother: Well, why not?


----------



## Sabreth (Dec 2, 2004)

I'm not sure, but I have heard that the process involves alcohol and regret.


----------



## Horloge (Jul 21, 2009)

Well when a man and woman love each other very much...


----------



## homer (Nov 23, 2008)

Jnmcda0 said:


> Me (at age 5): Mom, where do babies come from?
> Mom: They are brought by the stork.
> Me: How can a stork carry a baby?
> Mom: It could grip it by the torso.
> ...


I didn't consider the African stork. hmmm....


----------



## No-Sturm-und-Drang (Jan 21, 2009)

unusual condition said:


> from my ***


:haha


----------



## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

mytosis


----------



## Jurexic5 (Jun 23, 2009)

Jnmcda0 said:


> They come from Amazon.com...
> 
> http://www.amazon.com/Kiddopotamus-...e=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1248025044&sr=8-13


$9.99 for a baby? that's a bargain! i'd be worried about the babies condition upon delivery with that super saver shipping, if you were to buy 3 or more.


----------



## Iced Soul (Jan 28, 2009)

Hank Scorpio said:


> Reminds me of the Addams Family movie. I don't remember exactly but they're sittting in the waiting room and another little girl's talking about storks and crap and Wednesday says "Our parents are having a baby too. They had sex."


I rememeber that scene, too. I've seen that movie too many times. The first time I saw it, it was news to me, seriously.

I'll say... the uterus. After many hours of fun, then pain. :yes


----------

