# Does talking it out with a therapist help social anxiety



## sol65 (Nov 13, 2014)

Does simply the act of sharing with someone, help at all for you?


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## Maverick34 (Feb 18, 2013)

I've seen 2 therapists (not at the same time). It helps somewhat but ultimately you yourself are the answer

PS. After a while it made me feel like a victim. The only thing I feel I got out of it was just being social


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## sol65 (Nov 13, 2014)

Maverick 9 said:


> I've seen 2 therapists (not at the same time). It helps somewhat but ultimately you yourself are the answer
> 
> PS. After a while it made me feel like a victim. The only thing I feel I got out of it was just being social


True, i find indepth one chats very social so its good practice... I think its good to fele vulnerable but i agree a lot of itneeds to be done by yourself

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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

No, not for me. I've been seeing my therapist for a while, a couple of years now I guess. And I still have a lot of anxiety before and when talk...that hasn't changed. I also see a psychiatrist and have a "backup" therapist / psychiatrist lmao. All three know my full history, my struggles with anxiety and depression and with trying to grieve the loss of my ex-gf, my history with meds and my family, all of it.


It doesn't help me talking things out with her. I actually don't care for my therapist that much, tbh. I just do not like the woman. She knows how to push my buttons, she knows how to make me talk, esp about the stuff that I least want to talk about. But I think that's what I need sometimes and that's why I keep going back to her. I'll get so mad at her sometimes that I'll miss appointments, sometimes for a couple months at a time. But, yeah I always go back to her lmao. Sometimes I leave her office feeling much worse than I did when I came in. Sometimes I think she's a really sadistic human being lol. She agrees with me that exposure therapy and CBT would really help me wrt the anxiety, but she's also aware I'm not willing to do that anymore. I've btdt. So she's helping me cope with meds.


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## iPOUT (May 11, 2015)

Yes, it does. I LOVE talking to my therapist. I live with a family that'll take your secrets or confessions and use them against you in the future, so having someone who wants to hear me out and help me definitely helps with both my anxiety and emotions.


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## DerrickOdea (Aug 17, 2015)

Yes, it helped me a lot. I feel quite relaxed after talking to my therapist and my family members. They help me during my mood swing and other anxiety symptoms to manage my anxiety. Talking therapy is really helpful.


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## Vein (Mar 14, 2015)

A bit, only in the sense that it's a release... but the tension will always subsequently build up over time again. The fundamental problem is still there, and only action can solve that.


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## Beast And The Harlot (Jun 14, 2015)

Bahahahahaha! 

Therapists are a bunch of wank pheasants. 

They expect someone to just do everything that also requires the help of others.

When a normal person needs help, they can just have it. If I need help, I have to do everything myself and expect no assistance. 

These goobers are paid to just sit around and spout meaningless garbage every few minutes, without any real thought or originality. 

Over paid hacks, the whole lot of them!


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

My experiences with therapists weren't great. I felt all they did was listen and wrote notes which made me uncomfortable and they would just tell me what I already know. Seems like a waste of money, but that's just me. Some people just need to talk to someone even if they have to pay for it.


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## Deadly Assassin (Jun 19, 2015)

Therapists are a waste of money from my experience. I felt like an idiot talking to a therapist about my problems. I felt like a loser admitting my loser feelings and thoughts. Left the room feeling more deflated and depressed than when I walked in.


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## AbsenceOfSound (Nov 29, 2011)

TenYears said:


> She agrees with me that exposure therapy and CBT would really help me wrt the anxiety, but she's also aware I'm not willing to do that anymore.


Can I ask what kind of therapy you're doing? Not trying to be nosy, just am considering beginning a different sort of therapy. I feel like CBT and exposure therapy have gotten me as far as they can, and I want to try something different.

Also not trying to derail the thread.....sorry if I should've posted elsewhere.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

AbsenceOfSound said:


> Can I ask what kind of therapy you're doing? Not trying to be nosy, just am considering beginning a different sort of therapy. I feel like CBT and exposure therapy have gotten me as far as they can, and I want to try something different.
> 
> Also not trying to derail the thread.....sorry if I should've posted elsewhere.


I'm going through grief counseling right now. Tbh most of the time we don't even focus on trying to make progress with the anxiety and depression. Well, I mean, we do, but it's all a part of grief therapy. There isn't really a road map for getting through the whole grief process, so it's really important that I stick with the therapy, otherwise I really don't know if I'm making any progress. I tend to avoid things rather than face them head-on, especially with something this painful...and trying to bury / not deal with grief can be...really, really self-destructive.

In the past I've also tried regression therapy, which I really regret tbh. Imo some things are not worth remembering, some things are better left forgotten.

Hypnotherapy, which gave me mixed results. I really couldn't tell that there was any real progress being made so I dropped it.

I've been through psychodrama several different times in a group therapy setting, starting when I was 15. It's very, very intense...a lot of the time it's basically reenacting the most traumatic experiences from your past. There were a lot of victims of abuse (including myself) in the psychiatric hospital I was in when I was 15. It's a very powerful, and sometimes scary way to confront the past. I still remember some of the other patients going through it, every detail, and it was thirty years ago. Strangely enough I don't remember my own. Imo sometimes going through the therapy can be almost as traumatic as the event itself. They would do it an almost pitch black dark room with about thirty or forty of us participating. You'd select some of the other patients to act as family members, abusers, whomever you needed to act it out. There were a lot of times when patients (including myself) had complete and total breakdowns, screaming, crying. There was actually a one-on-one therapy session you had to go through after psychodrama to kind of make sure you were OK, to get your head back to reality and to help you calm down from the therapy. It was reeeally intense.

I can't even remember what it's called now, but I had a doc that used to put me in a completely dark room, reclined all the way back, listening to these positive messages over and over and over again, repeatedly, for like 45 minutes at a time. A lot of the time I would actually go to sleep lol, and he was fine with that. I have no idea if that was effective at all, so I eventually stopped.

I've tried a bunch of different types of group therapy, and those were usually very helpful. The problem with those with me is the anticipatory anxiety I felt before each session. A lot of the time I would just flake out and not show up at all.

I've been through more but this is turning into a book. And I just realized all you really asked is what therapy I'm using now lol.


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## AbsenceOfSound (Nov 29, 2011)

TenYears said:


> I've been through more but this is turning into a book. And I just realized all you really asked is what therapy I'm using now lol.


No, I appreciate you sharing. It's helpful to hear which sorts of therapy have helped. I have mostly done variations on CBT in the past, but given that it's been three years, I am beginning to think I need something different. I'm planning to try psychodynamic therapy and see how it goes.

Group therapy sounds downright terrifying, but maybe it wouldn't be so bad....?


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## BlueDay (May 6, 2014)

My counselor happens to be super hot, so it helps to practice speaking to a beautiful woman. She also buys me a coffee every week, so I get enough out of it!


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## Maverick34 (Feb 18, 2013)

BlueDay said:


> My counselor happens to be super hot, so it helps to practice speaking to a beautiful woman. She also buys me a coffee every week, so I get enough out of it!


I once had a hot doctor who wore high heel sandals (no stockings). I was like OMG. She had me lay down & used her stethoscope on me :nerd:


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## Search (Apr 20, 2013)

*Does talking it out with a therapist help social anxiety?

*You get out of it what you put in to it! Therapists are not miracle workers, although if the participant is willing, wondrous things can happen. However if your just going along for the ride; your better off sticking with the wonder drugs.

There are a number of factors that go into an effective session when visiting a therapist.

*1. Is your heart in it?*

If your spending time judging the therapist, then perhaps your not ready to see one. That sounds harsh, however I know it to be true from personal experience. One day an amazing thing thing happened. When I started to get real after many visits and many therapists, I found myself no longer *****ing about who I was seeing. Instead I was actually making progress and found myself starting to get along with the professionals I was seeing. I ended up coming to the conclusion that it was not until my heart was in the right place, that I was ready to see a therapist. Previous to that, I had simply been wasting time and crying over spilled milk.

*2. Willing But Not Ready:

*My next issue was that although I wanted to see a therapist, my heart would often fall out of place. The process of healing (purification) can be rather confronting. A lot of resentments would surface and negative thoughts would once again ensue. At this point the skill of the therapist plays a large roles as too, the resilience of participant. It pays to note that there are always two participants in such sessions. Being willing and having already had ones heart in the right place, does not mean one is unable to make good judgment calls when feeling out of sorts.

If one is unable to right the boat after a couple of sessions, it pays to assess how ones rapport (relationship) is fairing with the therapists as well as gauging ones own demeanor before looking for another therapist and deciding to continue on.
_______________________________

Those are the two most important points I can think off after spending years in the therapy pool. Having your heart in the right place and understanding that even that is sometime not enough. Coming to understand the process is just as important, as it is with anything that one has an interest in.

To elaborate on these points, having an interest is probably the first point of call. If your not asking yourself questions as to "Why am I even seeing a therapist?", "Who's decision is it to go see one?", "do I really want to see one?," then perhaps you should not even being seeing one. It's a tough call seeing a therapist when you have never done so before.

However despite ones fears, unless one has an interest and self motivated to see a therapists for the right reasons, then yes; in all likelihood one will find reason to sabotage their own sessions.

Blaming my therapists was a copping mechanism. Like blaming my parents until one day, I actually grew up.

I sincerely hope it does not take others 47 years as it has done me.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

AbsenceOfSound said:


> Group therapy sounds downright terrifying, but maybe it wouldn't be so bad....?


I've made a lot of progress in group therapy, there have been times in my life where I found it to be invaluable. Sometimes, for me, the feedback I get from others in the group that have been or are going through what I am...I value what they have to say much more than what my therapist is spouting off from the DSM V. And, tbh there have been groups I just did not fit into, I went one time and never went back. It's sort of hit or miss for me I guess.

The anticipatory anxiety I have before going to a group (even now, when I've been to dozens of them before) can be overwhelming. This may sound really just ridiculous, esp to someone who doesn't struggle with anxiety like I do, but I've sat in traffic, driven to a group therapy appt before, paid for parking, parked, and sat in my car for twenty minutes before deciding to turn around and go home. The thought of opening up to a group of people that I don't even know, about my deepest and darkest secrets is just terrifying to me. For reasons that anyone who has anxiety will understand, right away. But what I've found is, for me, I have to keep in mind the times when I forced myself to go through the motions and just do it. Once I get in there, and introduce myself and get through the first session I'm almost always alright. For me it's anxiety about anxiety....the whole "there's nothing to fear but fear itself" mindset.

I hope you find a good group and let me know how it goes, I'd be interested to know. I'm still debating whether or not to try a new group myself, one that my therapist has been trying to talk me into doing for a while now. I'm pretty stubborn.


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## Search (Apr 20, 2013)

TenYears said:


> I've made a lot of progress in group therapy, there have been times in my life where I found it to be invaluable. Sometimes, for me, the feedback I get from others in the group that have been or are going through what I am...I value what they have to say much more than what my therapist is spouting off from the DSM V. And, tbh there have been groups I just did not fit into, I went one time and never went back. It's sort of hit or miss for me I guess.
> 
> The anticipatory anxiety I have before going to a group (even now, when I've been to dozens of them before) can be overwhelming. This may sound really just ridiculous, esp to someone who doesn't struggle with anxiety like I do, but I've sat in traffic, driven to a group therapy appt before, paid for parking, parked, and sat in my car for twenty minutes before deciding to turn around and go home. The thought of opening up to a group of people that I don't even know, about my deepest and darkest secrets is just terrifying to me. For reasons that anyone who has anxiety will understand, right away. But what I've found is, for me, I have to keep in mind the times when I forced myself to go through the motions and just do it. Once I get in there, and introduce myself and get through the first session I'm almost always alright. For me it's anxiety about anxiety....the whole "there's nothing to fear but fear itself" mindset.
> 
> I hope you find a good group and let me know how it goes, I'd be interested to know. I'm still debating whether or not to try a new group myself, one that my therapist has been trying to talk me into doing for a while now. I'm pretty stubborn.


Encouraged, I have just phoned a group I once attended before. I think I will give it another go. TY.


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## Rayzada (Jul 31, 2014)

I think it can help, it's always nice to have someone to listen and be supportive. But for therapy to be more effective, I'd think it requires one to push your comfort zone and practice socializing, try medicine, CBT, and all that is recommended to you by the therapist. It depends on the client and how much they are willing to put in to get better.


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