# Why are skinny/slim guys often compared to or told to date overweight women?



## FriedChicken (May 18, 2013)

I've never really understood this logic. It makes no sense to me. If you are into overweight women, then good for you. Chase after those who you are interested in! 

I'm slim guy with zero luck and experience with women. A lot of people tell me to date big women and go to the gym together. First off I am not out of shape or unhealthy. I don't need to go to the gym for health reasons. I'm 6'1 at 175 pounds with a little muscle. Sure I'm slim, but you can't see my bones. I'm actually in the normal range. Secondly, I'm not interested in overweight women, that is a matter of preference. Third, some overweight women who come on to me are offended when I politely turn them down. Just because I'm slim and inexperienced does not mean you are entitled to me.


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## Omoidekozo (May 27, 2012)

I never have had this experience...

I'm 5'5" ,with broad shoulder but very long limbs and pretty slender. Never specifically get suggested to "plus size women"(is that what you mean by overweight? Some people biologically just bigger, not even with endangerment to health or overeating).

I do always attract a specific type of girl it seems like though.

Also, women just don't smell the inexperience coming off of you. They also don't just feel entitled to you. They were probably just _interested_. And considering all the angst that big girls get they took more offense than you intended.


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## indiscipline (May 24, 2015)

I'm 6'2 at about 150 and I've never been compared to an overweight woman. 

I've also never been encouraged to date one. (what?)


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## legallyalone (Jan 24, 2014)

It's a (gross) way of saying lower your standards. Which.....maybe you should. If you really want a girlfriend and aren't having luck, why not broaden your physical criteria. Don't be such a baby about needing slim women, KFC is pretty cheap and everywhere so you're crossing 40% of the dating pool off your list by not being open to them.


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## FriedChicken (May 18, 2013)

legallyalone said:


> It's a (gross) way of saying lower your standards. Which.....maybe you should. If you really want a girlfriend and aren't having luck, why not broaden your physical criteria. Don't be such a baby about needing slim women, KFC is pretty cheap and everywhere so you're crossing 40% of the dating pool off your list by not being open to them.


Nobody should lower their standards because they are inexperienced. You are not entitled to someone because he or she just so happens to be inexperienced. Why would anyone have a relationship with someone, who they can't have sex with? Sex is not everything in a relationship, but both partners want it with someone they are actually attracted to. Would you be in a relationship with someone who makes you dry as a desert?

By the way KFC is not cheap in my area. It's the second the most expensive fast-food chain behind Pop Eyes in my area.


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## legallyalone (Jan 24, 2014)

FriedChicken said:


> Nobody should lower their standards because they are inexperienced. You are not entitled to someone because he or she just so happens to be inexperienced. Why would anyone have a relationship with someone, who they can't have sex with? Sex is not everything in a relationship, but both partners want it with someone they are actually attracted to. Would you be in a relationship with someone who makes you dry as a desert?
> 
> By the way KFC is not cheap in my area. It's the second the most expensive fast-food chain behind Pop Eyes in my area.


Stop putting so much emphasis on appearance. You can be attracted to someone who's heavier. If you don't want to lower your standards that's fine, but you have to accept that you might be alone for the rest of your life.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Literally never heard that ever.

Also slim men have a much better image in society than overweight women do. I have heard short guys get compared to overweight women though. Seems weird to compare these things in general to be honest, I find short guys attractive but not overweight guys. Lots of different opinions.

@legallyalone that makes no sense, people can't just change what they're attracted to, otherwise most people would out of convenience.


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## FriedChicken (May 18, 2013)

legallyalone said:


> Stop putting so much emphasis on appearance. You can be attracted to someone who's heavier. If you don't want to lower your standards that's fine, but you have to accept that you might be alone for the rest of your life.


You can't tell someone that they can be attracted to someone with a particular look. Everyone is different. There are many men out there who love overweight women. My family friend adores them and has no problem telling the world. A muscular guy from my college only dated overweight women and he was considered one of the best looking men on campus. If you're into a particular type, then of course you can date that person.

If you are not into a particular type, then it is going to fail. We need to be real. Physical appearance does matter. We date people, who we find physically attractive and is different for everyone because we have different tastes. Ask yourself this question. Would you date a person, who turns you off and you would never have sex with?

I would rather die a virgin, then be with someone who makes me unhappy.


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## legallyalone (Jan 24, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> @legallyalone that makes no sense, people can't just change what they're attracted to, otherwise most people would out of convenience.


No they wouldn't, people are arrogant. They think they deserve someone even hotter so they won't settle. Attraction for most is not an on/off switch, it's a spectrum of how attracted you are. Most people would say Taylor Swift is more attractive than Kelly Clarkson, doesn't mean they won't still date someone who looks like Kelly Clarkson, but if they believed they could get Taylor Swift then they might not.


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## FriedChicken (May 18, 2013)

legallyalone said:


> No they wouldn't, people are arrogant. They think they deserve someone even hotter so they won't settle. Attraction for most is not an on/off switch, it's a spectrum of how attracted you are. Most people would say Taylor Swift is more attractive than Kelly Clarkson, doesn't mean they won't still date someone who looks like Kelly Clarkson, but if they believed they could get Taylor Swift then they might not.


Umm..no. Most people date people they are attracted to. Settling isn't picking Kelly Clarkson over Taylor Swift. Settling is picking someone who you are not honestly interested in being with, but is only with that person for the sake of a relationship or sex.


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## Omoidekozo (May 27, 2012)

Chicken fast food is pretty mid-tier on expenses here too. It can be cheap with special and expensive any other day.

On topic-

Because they are big girls that isn't lowering your standards if you choose to date them oppose to a slimmer woman. That just means they are big. There are even people that prefer plus size women and they aren't lowering their standards or have **** taste for being with them. Some ended up with these women regardless of their preferences, the visual wasn't the first thing they took note of or they just are find with whatever as long as they like them.

Liking/Dating/Loving/Pursuing big women is not something shameful.

If people actually did say that to you with the intent of you lowering your standards, **** them. And not because they don't think you can get what they consider "better". **** them for projecting their wants and preferences on to you and the women they have in mind for you.

*YOU BEING INEXPERIENCE IS NOT AN ISSU*E (yet). Women just don't know you are inexperienced. They learn that from interacting with you, and it is also in this time period whether they consider to continue to interact with you. This is not conversation point you should make until you both decide you want to be serious or start having sex or whatever- when you both know how you feel about each other. If she leaves you for being inexperience, whatever. On to the next one.

*FAT WOMEN DON'T EXCLUSIVE THIRST AFTER INEXPERIENCE/SLIM MEN*. How are you making this correlation? No one feels entitled to you and people just don't take rejection well across the board. Anyone is capable of having their feelings hurt.

And maybe your rejects might not be as polite as you think they are. You might be saying something you don't realize is offensive yourself.

Sure, you want to find your partner attractive. No one is knocking that, but don't blame fat women for being interested in you. They did nothing wrong by asking.


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

FriedChicken said:


> Nobody should lower their standards because they are inexperienced. You are not entitled to someone because he or she just so happens to be inexperienced. Why would anyone have a relationship with someone, who they can't have sex with? Sex is not everything in a relationship, but both partners want it with someone they are actually attracted to. Would you be in a relationship with someone who makes you dry as a desert?
> 
> By the way KFC is not cheap in my area. It's the second the most expensive fast-food chain behind Pop Eyes in my area.


you guys

the fried chicken is talking about kfc


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

I don't think people can voluntarily "lower their standards" (nor do I think people should equate dating larger women with 'lowering standards' but that's a separate issue) nor should people try to force themselves to be attracted to someone they're not attracted to. I think that's really irresponsible to the other person.

If you convince someone you're attracted to them and you're not you're depriving them of the opportunity to start a relationship with someone who is attracted to them. The right thing to do is to not date people you're not attracted to, even if it means you're going to end up lonely. Imo, 'lower your standards' sounds a lot like 'selfishly use someone else to avoid being alone'.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

Everybody needs love... 

Just like short guys...

And zombies...

And short guy zombies...


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## Kind Of (Jun 11, 2014)

People objectify and categorize each other by "value" based on the latest trends in society-- what's currently seen as masculine or feminine, what traits are glorified, etc. Humans largely don't know what to do if they can't buy, sell, and compare themselves and everyone they know. No innate understanding of their own true value independent of outside factors, let alone the true value of others.


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## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

i have never ever heard of this ''advice'' ... something so ridiculous as to tell a person with a particular shape to date another person with a particular shape... ... you dont half read some crap on here at times.


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## DarrellLicht (Mar 9, 2013)

I don't think the OP is really insinuating that he is entitled to anyone super attractive. There's a wide variety of people to choose from.. Those who are at least twice his size just do not interest him. I feel the same way, I don't put all the effort I do to remain fit to attract someone who does the exact opposite.


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## Sean07 (May 9, 2014)

I'm skinny as a rake and no one has ever suggested that I date an overweight girl, nor have I been with an overweight girl. Sounds like the rubbish gym jockeys say to feel mint about themselves.


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## Dan1987 (May 26, 2015)

I've never heard of this either, I'm a skinny guy, I don't mind if a girl is overweight, it's about personality too.


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## Wirt (Jan 16, 2009)

I'll join the 'never heard of this in my life' parade


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

A little overweight is fine. But legit FAT girls.... I would feel offended if I was slim and someone told me that.


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## kwrwade (Aug 11, 2012)

I'm not so sure I've heard of this exactly as you've described it. But as a skinny guy I certainly do observe that there is much more support and empowerment for overweight women and much more criticism for very skinny guys (and skinny women). I've noticed that it is socially unacceptable to criticize a plus-sized person's weight, but nobody seems to bat and eye when a skinny person gets told they need to "eat a sandwhich." But yes, I certainly have seen images and internet memes encouraging skinny guys to date plus-sized women. More importantly there is a hypocrisy in how society views weight. Simply look on Facebook or Twitter and see the posts where a guy says he likes a big girl or a girl with curves, there are often hundreds of likes and retweets. Then look on Facebook or Twitter and see the posts where someone says they have a preference for skinny people, and you'll find a debate about how the OP is perpetuating an unrealistic standard of beauty. The reality is that attraction is not a choice and we all have our preferences. I have found curvaceous women attractive and I found skinny women attractive. There are women who have found both heavy-set men attractive and skinny men attractive. (And of course our LBGTQ brothers of sisters who find their respective partners attractive). We need to get over it and get on with our lives.


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## FriedChicken (May 18, 2013)

kwrwade said:


> I'm not so sure I've heard of this exactly as you've described it. But as a skinny guy I certainly do observe that there is much more support and empowerment for overweight women and much more criticism for very skinny guys (and skinny women). I've noticed that it is socially unacceptable to criticize a plus-sized person's weight, but nobody seems to bat and eye when a skinny person gets told they need to "eat a sandwhich." But yes, I certainly have seen images and internet memes encouraging skinny guys to date plus-sized women. More importantly there is a hypocrisy in how society views weight. Simply look on Facebook or Twitter and see the posts where a guy says he likes a big girl or a girl with curves, there are often hundreds of likes and retweets. Then look on Facebook or Twitter and see the posts where someone says they have a preference for skinny people, and you'll find a debate about how the OP is perpetuating an unrealistic standard of beauty. The reality is that attraction is not a choice and we all have our preferences. I have found curvaceous women attractive and I found skinny women attractive. There are women who have found both heavy-set men attractive and skinny men attractive. (And of course our LBGTQ brothers of sisters who find their respective partners attractive). We need to get over it and get on with our lives.


The criticism that we get is ridiculous. I've read many comments online from women, who say skinny men are not real men. They need a manly man. I understand women prefer guys with more meat on their bones. However, our slim bodies do not make us any less than a man. It's so insulting to say a skinny guy is not a real man. I'm called boy a lot and I am in my mid-twenties. It's like people trying to strip my sex identity away from me.


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

I've heard of this many times before, but it's never been suggested to me by anyone. I think it's because people think skinny men=not desirable and overweight women=not desirable...so the undesirables should gravitate towards other each other. Yeah, it does sound stupid but are you really surprised considering the way people think?


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

skinny guys are majestic beautiful creatures i love yall just keep on keepin on


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## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

i have _never_ heard this before.  ..maybe whoever said that was thinking of your future generations. like your skinny genes and her curvy genes will cancel each other out and your kids will come out regular-sized.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

gopherinferno said:


> skinny guys are majestic beautiful creatures i love yall just keep on keepin on


Thanks dear, good to know we have someone in our court.

Anywhoozle, I agree that people can't consciously change who they are drawn to, however that doesn't mean that someone you are not initially drawn to cannot become that as you get to know them. I've dated someone I initially had zero attraction to but as I got to know them just clicked and I think it happens often.


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## saperson (Jun 28, 2015)

I've never heard of this before but I guess it's a specific case of how "undesirable" people can only mate with other "undesirable" people

I really like your avatar and the chicken looks really good. If I ever get a date I want to take her to KFC on our first date


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

My back might break if I tried to carry her.


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

FriedChicken said:


> The criticism that we get is ridiculous. I've read many comments online from women, who say skinny men are not real men. They need a manly man. I understand women prefer guys with more meat on their bones. However, our slim bodies do not make us any less than a man. It's so insulting to say a skinny guy is not a real man. I'm called boy a lot and I am in my mid-twenties. It's like people trying to strip my sex identity away from me.


Everyone has their preferences, and some people feel the need to make theirs clearer by being rude and insulting about what is the opposite of their preference. Just gotta learn to filter through that bull**** and not take it personally. Personally I prefer skinny guys, and I don't think anyone's any realer a man whether they're thinner or heavier.


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## SilkyJay (Jul 6, 2015)

I absolutely can relate to KFC. : P All too familiar for me and it's interesting, to say the least... I'm a friendly guy, pretty thin and I've also had a few overweight women get angry that I didn't want them and I was nothing but nice. It's like since I'm available and they know I'm not in a relationship that I should say yes and not saying yes albiet in a polite way is taken like I said something terrible. And the reaction and behavior displayed afterwards and there on is pretty nasty. Sometimes when your overly friendly/goofy and let them in a tad, flirt, compliment, ask for work help, (I want to let her know she's appreciated, noticed ect on a basic level) some of these women get overly aggressive as well as their friends trying to arrange things. And its hard because you don't want to be rude. a problem a lot of attractive women obviously have to work out.

I had this happen more recently at wells fargo when I was working there. I've never been sexually harassed before, but honestly this was as close as it gets before someone gets in trouble. I should've said something. It sucked working in the same cubicle as this lady near the end. Things got so miserable and in retrospect I was apart of the problem in a way. For being me. 

I'll never forget her sticking her finger in my jeans (which had a small hole on my upper thigh) randomly. It was so uncomfortable. It didn't help that I don't like wearing underwear. She ended up getting a promotion I believe, and I lost my job in the end.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Kind Of said:


> People objectify and categorize each other by "value" based on the latest trends in society-- what's currently seen as masculine or feminine, what traits are glorified, etc. Humans largely don't know what to do if they can't buy, sell, and compare themselves and everyone they know. No innate understanding of their own true value independent of outside factors, let alone the true value of others.


Mhmm.


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## Kind Of (Jun 11, 2014)

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Mhmm.


Mm-HMMM.


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## Jack365 (Jan 25, 2013)

It's another way of saying "lower your standards" I am skinny/slender and I've heard this line a few times.


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## indiscipline (May 24, 2015)

Jack365 said:


> It's another way of saying "lower your standards" I am skinny/slender and I've heard this line a few times.


Oh, so the line _has_ been spoken after all? 

Wouldn't it be more logical to assume that skinny is drawn to skinny etc, and encourage that instead?

(I don't know why I'm posting in this thread, it's weird in here)


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

I've never heard this before.


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## Jack365 (Jan 25, 2013)

indiscipline said:


> Oh, so the line _has_ been spoken after all?
> 
> Wouldn't it be more logical to assume that skinny is drawn to skinny etc, and encourage that instead?
> 
> (I don't know why I'm posting in this thread, it's weird in here)


No, because skinny women are seen as sexually desirable. Conversely on men it's seen as feminine or weak.


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## indiscipline (May 24, 2015)

Jack365 said:


> No, because skinny women are seen as sexually desirable. Conversely on men it's seen as feminine or weak.


Yeah. What I was meaning to say is that people seem to be naturally drawn to body types similar to their own.


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

I've never really heard this before either. I'm still considered thin though when I was younger I was really skinny and never had anyone say this to me.


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## Jack365 (Jan 25, 2013)

indiscipline said:


> Yeah. What I was meaning to say is that people seem to be naturally drawn to body types similar to their own.


You think? maybe those who are physically fit. But I think on general it runs the gamut. I see plenty of average weight guys with very fat women on average.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

cause you're supposed to like what you don't have, duh.

Tall with short, blonde with brunette, skinny with big. Just accept the facts and move on.


World's a bitter place out there, especially for a gal like me who has been subjected to jerkatis men.

I see men as a type of joke that you can only laugh at and treat like a domesticated house animal who can only be conditioned so much but who doesn't have the capacity to be fully controlled or trained beyond that.

Whatevs though.


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## Kodi (Jul 9, 2015)

I'm 5,9 and 130 pounds, I know exactly where you're coming from. When I was in high school I was going after this girl I really liked and one day I finally got the courage to tell her how I feel, I got rejected of course, and then she directed me to her overweight friend which isn't really a bad thing, I was more worried about the rejecting TBH. But yeah, I used to be into Instagram really big and the majority of my likes were overweight girls, not sure why this is


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

calichick said:


> Whatevs though.


Hey cali nice to see your still doin fine :high5


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

blue2 said:


> calichick said:
> 
> 
> > Whatevs though.
> ...


Hi sweetie pie.


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