# Helplessness of doing poorly in college



## yomrwhite (Feb 26, 2011)

Is anyone else in my boat where you study a lot yet still seem to not do well? It just seems to be magnified by my lack of friends, so I have all this time to study yet still do poorly. 

I was a great student in high school, getting above a 4.0 GPA and multiple AP classes/tests. I just can't seem to get it in college (freshman). And I just feel so helpless, what with wasting my parents' money and all.

it just makes me even more miserable. People without friends who do well in school seem miserable already... imagine what it's like for someone without friends AND doing poorly in school.


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## xTKsaucex (Jun 23, 2010)

yomrwhite said:


> Is anyone else in my boat where you study a lot yet still seem to not do well? It just seems to be magnified by my lack of friends, so I have all this time to study yet still do poorly.
> 
> I was a great student in high school, getting above a 4.0 GPA and multiple AP classes/tests. I just can't seem to get it in college (freshman). And I just feel so helpless, what with wasting my parents' money and all.
> 
> it just makes me even more miserable. People without friends who do well in school seem miserable already... imagine what it's like for someone without friends AND doing poorly in school.


Well, I sucked generally at everything save art so I hear you in the sense that loads of peeps I knew just got on by doing barelly any studying and I'd need to study 24/7 to achieve half of what they could.

If you are lagging - yes having a lack of friends is demoralising but f-it I get on by without that support and continue to improve. What you studying anyway? Might be good to get online and find appropiate forums to ask for help and go to your tutor to give some pointers where to make improvments.


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## Gatling (Apr 26, 2011)

Don't give up! i was kinda in that boat (didn't do well in high school) and have seen an old high school acquaintance in that same boat. Loneliness is a killer but try to find something you really enjoy and focus on improvement.


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## nameless56 (Mar 26, 2011)

I just did horribly with a recent exam I just took and I studied for it this time and I did poorly. I did ok with the first two exams without studying at all, maybe if I barely study for this final I might be able to pass it.


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

I studied *so *hard for a stats test a couple of weeks ago, and all I got was a 66%. 

I don't think I'm the best student, but I take the class *a lot* more seriously than a lot of these idiots. I see so many of them coming in late, leaving early, sleeping, texting, etc., and they *all* probably did better than me. The class average was, like, an 81%. I just don't know how I ****ed that up so bad.

All this time, I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn't lazy. I guess I *did *prove to myself that I *am* stupid. :sigh


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## nycdude (Mar 20, 2010)

I feel the same dude, i got my math test and i failed again, I really thought i did good on it, I even studied for it all night before the test.  I guess i am not college material.


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## biggame (Apr 28, 2011)

nycdude said:


> I feel the same dude, i got my math test and i failed again, I really thought i did good on it, I even studied for it all night before the test.  I guess i am not college material.


You guys crack me up!

You remind me of myself when I was attending UCSB as a freshman back in 1982. I too was a timid person trying to adjust to college/dorm life, but the harder I try the more I withdrew myself from everyone.

I remember locking myself in empty classrooms every night and studying all night general chemistry or first year calculus preparing for exams. And no matter how hard I tried I would always did poorly on exams.

(I am thinking I spent all nighters every night studying my A off and all I got to show was a "D" or a "F")!

Ahhhhh!!!!

I eventually flunked out after the second quarter and went home dejected but relieved. Relieved from the constant lonliness and stress of every day college life.

I think all of you guys are college material. But most of you need a break from college. Take a few quarters off find a part-time or full-time job and in your lesuire go back and start from scratch with college. Be a detective and find out why you did so poorly on the exams. Did you understood the material? Did you do all the assignments? Practice makes perfect. Making sure you have the mechanics down is so important.

Heck, I wish the internet support was around when I was going through my time of stress. But guess what? This experience will only make you stronger. A lot of people who are outgoing can't stand being alone. They have their own insecurities. But me, I do well whether I am alone or in a group of people. But of course it is always better with a group of people.

Anyway thank you for sharing your experiences it does bring back a lot of memories!


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## yomrwhite (Feb 26, 2011)

biggame said:


> I too was a timid person trying to adjust to college/dorm life, but the harder I try the more I withdrew myself from everyone.
> 
> Studying all night general chemistry or first year calculus preparing for exams. And no matter how hard I tried I would always did poorly on exams.
> 
> ...


This is my fear. I'm just so tired of studying my *** off and failing. People wonder why I have no self esteem and why I'm so pessimistic and annoyed so often. Maybe because no matter what I do, I fail it it.

It is just magnified by my lack of friends. I too have struggled severely with dorm life. Not so much being withdrawn, but I made attempts to meet people and I was shot down, so I simply withdrew myself as a result.


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## iuseings (Nov 11, 2009)

I understand what you mean by having more free time should equal doing better in school. Unlike you I find that I don't study as much with free time and get by on C's and B's, plus the occasional D. The problem is that I usually don't attend classes or get too anxious about failing so I avoid looking at course material. Maybe I'm self-handicapping myself so if I really did devote the time and effort I wouldn't be so affected by what outcome I receive.
I think it's about time I grew up though and faced reality to see what my potential really is, which may not be the best academic material. It's always in the back of my head that if there is a failure role I should fulfill it, and all that irrational thinking... I'm super insecure about my intelligence, even though I have academic "goals". 

It's best to just see where you made the mistakes and where your thinking led you astray. I don't think you are as stupid as you imagine yourself to be. We all tend to feel stupid and inadequate with low-self esteem and will draw from any experience or comparison to others to re-affirm that.


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## alte (Sep 4, 2010)

Transitioning from high school to college is difficult, especially if on top of studying you are staying in dorms and learning to live independently. Freshman year is a good time to build good study habits, the grades themselves in the first few semesters are less important. If you are considering graduate school in the future, programs you apply to may forgive poor early grades if there is an upward trend later on. 
So at this point, try to figure out why you are doing poorly. Ask your advisor if you have one. Meet with professors during office hours. At the very least, they will be impressed you are taking initiative to learn and improve. You did very well in high school, so obviously you are capable and intelligent.


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## lonelyboy23 (May 5, 2011)

Hi everyone!

So here's my story. I graduated high school super young and went to a huge public university. Unfortunately, I was too young to handle the pressure of college life and pretty much failed out. It got to a point where I gave up, registered for classes to make my family happy and got Fs on everything bc I just couldn't get myself to attend classes. So I took some time off and went back to another university and did much better but still would pick a class here and there to fail. Honestly, I have no idea why I did that - i literally just did not show up to some of the classes. And I think a big part of it is I just lose complete faith in myself. I thought I wasn't capable of anything special and I have this horrible past so why keep trying. And I just want my bachelors so who cares how I do just as long as I get it done...

Anyways, eventually I got it together and ended up doing well in my classes the last year of college. did really well on my gres and i had a lot of work experience under my belt and managed to get into a pretty good graduate program. I went in for a phd but left with a masters in good academic standing a couple of yrs ago bc my research advisor was psychotic but honestly I regret it to this day that I left. 

Now, Im looking to get into a new program but memories of my mistakes keep haunting me. I'm looking over my transcripts and I keep thinking to myself wth was I doing! and im embarrassed and ashamed of myself! And again I feel like sabotaging myself and giving up.

So there's a point to this story...

1) You can be as great as you want to be in high school, but college is much different. You have a study in a completely different way. That transition from studying for high school to studying for college can cause a lot of stress that makes you doubt yourself. Don't let it!
2) For some odd reason, idiots tend to really really well college. So don't feel bad if you think someone's an idiot and they did better than you. It doesn't necessarily mean that they're smarter, they just know how to study for that particular test or they have friends with those exams or whatever.
3) I don't know how or why I got into that program but honestly it goes to show you that you never know what's in store so NEVER EVER GIVE UP.. theres always options and there's a future that you might not see now
4) Don't let you get you. I allowed myself to lose faith in myself while I tried to learn how to transition to college and it ruined me. That transition isn't easy for everyone so it might just take you a little longer. Don't lose faith that you'll get there, that you'll do better. BC if you do, ten years later, u'll look back and regret it.


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## wmw87 (Apr 20, 2011)

> Is anyone else in my boat where you study a lot yet still seem to not do well? It just seems to be magnified by my lack of friends, so I have all this time to study yet still do poorly.


That was basically how freshman year went for me. I dropped out after my sophomore year due to poor performance/frustration with lack of friends. I'm doing much better after the 2 year break I took. (Still no friends - but bleh.)

It's really really really tough adjusting to college. It's double tough if you have anxiety issues. If you have any questions about this stuff - feel free to ask.

P.S. VERY good post lonelyboy


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