# I asked a girl out.



## Loverman (Jan 22, 2017)

I failed, but you know what? At least I tried because nothing beats a failure but a try, right?

Saturday was the day. There was this beautiful Caucasian girl who looked pretty young, somewhere in her twenties, named Heather. It said so on her name tag in the Wendy's she was working at. I'd been glancing at her constantly since I got my food. Of course she didn't notice me because I was sitting in the corner eating my food, but she was just so beautiful that I couldn't take it anymore. 

For years, I was so incredibly nervous around girls with my anxiety always getting the best of me. Well, this time, I wasn't going to take it. I wasn't going to let my disease beat me. 

After I was done with my food, I was about to walk out and pretend like I never saw her, like I do every time I see a cute girl that I probably should talk to, but don't because I have terrible self-esteem issues and a paranoid fear that people are always out to get me or thinking awful things about me in their heads when they see me, but I wasn't going to do that this time. I swallowed my pride and went to introduce myself.

My heart was racing at a thousand miles per hour. I could hardly find the strength inside of me to say what I wanted to say. I felt like my heart was ready to explode at any second. We shook hands after I told her my name and I asked her the question:

"Would you like to go out with me to go watch a movie sometime after work or something?"

I probably botched it because she followed up with her answer, which was, "That sounds nice, but I have to work all day from ten to ten." I inquired about maybe doing it tomorrow, but she gave me the same answer. So feeling defeated, I left and caught the next bus home.

So...yeah. That's it. I actually asked a girl out. For the first time since high school, I mustered the courage to get out of my bubble and talk to a girl who I thought was extremely attractive. I had a feeling it was going to go that way because that's how I am, always expecting things to go bad, but at least I had the confidence to do something I can look back on and say to myself, "I might have failed, but at least I did something about it. I tried."


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## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

Good for you! I would be too afraid to try.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

you da real m v p brah.


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## LonelyLurker (Sep 24, 2016)

Loverman said:


> So...yeah. That's it. I actually asked a girl out. For the first time since high school, I mustered the courage to get out of my bubble and talk to a girl who I thought was extremely attractive. I had a feeling it was going to go that way because that's how I am, always expecting things to go bad, but at least I had the confidence to do something I can look back on and say to myself, "I might have failed, but at least I did something about it. I tried."


Congratulations, finding the courage to try is probably the most important thing.


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## Excaliber (May 16, 2015)

Awesome stuff!! Would always wonder what could have been at a missed opportunity right? You tried, that's what counts!


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## Ms kim (May 15, 2017)

That's nothing to be sad about. She may have turned you down for a variety of reasons.....like maybe she already has a boyfriend, maybe she's just getting out of a relationship and is taking some time to herself, or perhaps she's not comfortable going out with a total stranger whose one aim is just to get her in bed. If this is a place where you eat regularly, then it would be a great opportunity to build a friendship first before asking her out.


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## Loverman (Jan 22, 2017)

Ms kim said:


> That's nothing to be sad about. She may have turned you down for a variety of reasons.....like maybe she already has a boyfriend, maybe she's just getting out of a relationship and is taking some time to herself, or perhaps she's not comfortable going out with a total stranger whose one aim is just to get her in bed. If this is a place where you eat regularly, then it would be a great opportunity to build a friendship first before asking her out.


I don't go to that Wendy's regularly. I typically go to whichever one is nearest to where I'm staying or working, so it kinda varies. So I rarely go to that one, but the first time I saw her and found myself attracted to her was a few months ago. I wanted to say something at the time, but I was too afraid to say anything because I'm utterly terrified of rejection. I mean, it feels weird going it now because I don't go to that one regularly and it was just so out of the blue and stuff and-

Ugh, I mangled that up pretty quickly, didn't I?


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## The Condition of Keegan (Feb 1, 2016)

Amazing job dude!  Made me happy reading this.


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## Ms kim (May 15, 2017)

You have the wrong attitude. And if that's your attitude, it's safer for you to not ask anyone out. Don't ask anyone out and you won't get hurt. It's that simple.


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## Loverman (Jan 22, 2017)

It likely doesn't even matter. I'll probably wind up dying all alone, anyway. Even if I do get lucky and someone is willing to put up with me, it all will fall to nothingness one way or another, so it doesn't even mean a thing.


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## LonelyLurker (Sep 24, 2016)

Loverman said:


> It likely doesn't even matter. I'll probably wind up dying all alone, anyway. Even if I do get lucky and someone is willing to put up with me, it all will fall to nothingness one way or another, so it doesn't even mean a thing.


Don't let self doubt lead you to regression.

You found the courage to do it once, you can find that courage again. I can't guarantee you success or that any resulting relationship would go the distance, but it's not an unreasonable expectation.

So you may as well keep on trying and most importantly, don't bring failure upon yourself by self sabotaging.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

That's not a fail. It's a success.


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## Entrensik (Apr 25, 2014)

I almost had an anxiety attack just reading that 😆 good ****ing job dude...BTW ive always thought that what if a girl says yes? WTF do you even do on a date and then to try and kiss her would be so awkward and embarrassing because ive never kissed a girl😢


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## Entrensik (Apr 25, 2014)

Ms kim said:


> You have the wrong attitude. And if that's your attitude, it's safer for you to not ask anyone out. Don't ask anyone out and you won't get hurt. It's that simple.


WHOA wtf are you talking about? I can understand what you mean from a girls perspective how its weird as hell for a complete stranger to ask you out, but to say he shouldn't ask anyone out? Female privilege at its best.


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## Evolved Mind (Jan 9, 2017)

To the OP, how are you feeling at the moment? Still feeling down or are you better?



Ms kim said:


> You have the wrong attitude. And if that's your attitude, it's safer for you to not ask anyone out. Don't ask anyone out and you won't get hurt. It's that simple.


How the hell would you know what the right attitude is to ask someone out?


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

I would never do that, hell no. There is a better chance of me getting a circumcision and I don't plan to ever do that. I think that's sexual and physical abuse since it's done to children by parents since they make that decision but people don't want to talk about that.


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## charlietart886 (Aug 1, 2016)

Ms kim said:


> You have the wrong attitude. And if that's your attitude, it's safer for you to not ask anyone out. Don't ask anyone out and you won't get hurt. It's that simple.


Jealous, because no one is asking you out?


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

> I don't go to that Wendy's regularly. I typically go to whichever one is nearest to where I'm staying or working, so it kinda varies. So I rarely go to that one, but the first time I saw her and found myself attracted to her was a few months ago. I wanted to say something at the time, but I was too afraid to say anything because I'm utterly terrified of rejection. I mean, it feels weird going it now because I don't go to that one regularly and it was just so out of the blue and stuff and-
> 
> Ugh, I mangled that up pretty quickly, didn't I?


For everyone berating @Ms kim, I think her post was taken out of context because she didn't quote what she was replying to. Her reply was base on the above quote and how OP is looking at this in the wrong attitude.


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## LonelyLurker (Sep 24, 2016)

Blue Dino said:


> For everyone berating @Ms kim, I think her post was taken out of context because she didn't quote what she was replying to. Her reply was base on the above quote and how OP is looking at this in the wrong attitude.


I just took it as a tough love kind of a thing personally.

Asking people out carries a risk of being rejected, if you can't handle that risk the only way to avoid it is to never ask anyone out.

She's just stating fact.


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## Ms kim (May 15, 2017)

Charlietart thanks for the comment. You made my day lol


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## Ms kim (May 15, 2017)

Lonelylurker I like the way you think. You're so mature


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## Romjar92 (Jun 1, 2017)

First of all you did good by not surrendering to your SA and doing what you really wanted to do not what you are comfortable doing ( which in my opinion is the key to combating SA), in this case ask that girl out.

However I'll tell you though what immediately raised the alarm for me fabout your post.
According to your description, you seemed to have hit on her out of nowhere or at out of the blue.
As a stranger who noticed her.
The chances of success in such situations are close to zero in my opinion ( unless you are a solid 10/10 with the social skills to boot ).

An approach with higher chances of success, is to get to know the girl first or have some mutual interest/hobby with her and then after you already know each other to hit on her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ms kim (May 15, 2017)

Lonelylurker i like the way you think. you are mature and grown-up. I bet any girl would gladly go on a date with you


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## LonelyLurker (Sep 24, 2016)

Ms kim said:


> Lonelylurker I like the way you think. You're so mature


Why thank you. 

If your location is accurate, that's my family background so I've heard my fair share of raw honesty. I didn't like it at first but I've grown to appreciate it as I've grown older.


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## Shylife2017 (Apr 4, 2017)

Lover I'm so proud of you!! Rejection is only temporary.


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## ljubo (Jul 26, 2015)

Brave as a lion.


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## BlackHorse (Jun 4, 2017)

Ms kim said:


> You have the wrong attitude. And if that's your attitude, it's safer for you to not ask anyone out. Don't ask anyone out and you won't get hurt. It's that simple.


Don't listen to this lady, she's probably never taken a chance, and seems rather bitter imo.


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## Bogus (Jun 28, 2010)

> However I'll tell you though what immediately raised the alarm for me fabout your post.
> According to your description, you seemed to have hit on her out of nowhere or at out of the blue.
> As a stranger who noticed her.
> The chances of success in such situations are close to zero in my opinion ( unless you are a solid 10/10 with the social skills to boot ).


yesno. if you go about this strategically and ask a lot of girls (and maybe have some conversation too) chances are still low for individual case but eventual success is likely. in fact thats how i met my girlfriend. i also once invited a girl for coffee after a couple of seconds after meeting her and then we did that so thats definitly within the range of things that can happen. probably could work more often, didnt really try for a while.

i approached a ton of girls and i dont regreat doing it all, because it often just feels great. technically, chances are close to zero mostly because your self gets in the way. i just didnt believe i could make this work even tho i knew that i could, so for some time i really needed to just get myself to believe that its actually a thing.

good job btw


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## absreim (Jun 19, 2012)

That kind of behavior isn't unheard of but isn't exactly common for people without SA. You've demonstrated more courage than the average person has by doing that.

Generally, people get to know each other a bit before the asking out occurs. Never hurts to take shots, though.


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## itsmeflex (Jun 15, 2017)

nice i wish i had the balls to ask a girl out XD


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## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

Loverman said:


> I don't go to that Wendy's regularly. I typically go to whichever one is nearest to where I'm staying or working, so it kinda varies. So I rarely go to that one, but the first time I saw her and found myself attracted to her was a few months ago. I wanted to say something at the time, but I was too afraid to say anything because I'm utterly terrified of rejection. I mean, it feels weird going it now because I don't go to that one regularly and it was just so out of the blue and stuff and-
> 
> Ugh, I mangled that up pretty quickly, didn't I?


Ignore the anxiety, keep your head held high and dont worry if you go back there lol. I find that what really helps me to be more confident is to just not care about negative things so much. Besides it probably wasnt a big deal for her. And you shouldnt be terrified of rejection, she just simply turned you down because if she was interested in going out with you then she would have told you when she was available. Life is full of disappointments and rejections but learning to minimize the negative things can really sort of amplify our positive experiences in life while making us be more confident and happy.


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## Deaf Mute (Jun 12, 2017)

Loverman said:


> "Would you like to go out with me to go watch a movie sometime after work or something?"
> 
> I probably botched it because she followed up with her answer, which was, "That sounds nice, but I have to work all day from ten to ten." I inquired about maybe doing it tomorrow, but she gave me the same answer. So feeling defeated, I left and caught the next bus home.


Good on you man, at least you gave it a go! You've got more guts than tonnes of people, no one likes being rejected or embarrassed. People actively try and avoid ending up in such situations so putting yourself out there is admirable. Even though it ended like that at least she didn't give a nasty reaction? It was just a simple response.


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## QuietEmerald (Sep 26, 2014)

As long as you tried, that's what counts! :3


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## RockmanJL9981 (Aug 23, 2012)

good for you hope it goes well for you. make sure to be a gentleman


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## Hussle (Mar 5, 2014)

Good for you. Not many guys can say that on here. Just remember, the more you do it, the easier it gets and soon you won't have a problem approaching women you like. 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

I am so ugly that if I ever asked a girl out she should slap me across the face.


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## Bogus (Jun 28, 2010)

way to go cultivating your positive attitude mobius. 

the good news is that youre probably not that ugly and girls dont care as much, and the chances you actually get slapped are miniscule unless youre being a total ****.

also people arent that evil. if you approach girls, the majority will be polite if not friendly, even when they turn you down.

anyhow, i suggest you start working on the way you talk about yourself. would you say what you just said to a friend? he probably wouldnt be your friend much longer. nobody is going to do this for you, youre the only one who can (and you can.).


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