# How do you get over making a fool of yourself?



## fading (Nov 12, 2010)

I guess this sounds like a silly question for an SA forum where the fear of making a fool of yourself is one of, or the highest fear.
But when you're sure you made a fool of yourself, it's not just "in your mind". Have you ever dealt with this? Genuinely doing something very embarrassing. I would guess this happens a lot as you "learn to socialize". So anyone who is dealing with and overcoming SA has done this?? Anyway, i just want to know how people get over making a complete a** of themselves.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

I don't get over it. I still shudder when I think of things I did 15 years ago.


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## Larcen (Jan 17, 2011)

in certain situations I will try to laugh at myself, thus trying to get others to think Im not bothered by my embarrassing situation. But in reality I'm over analyzing the situation and thinking of what I could have done differently......which makes me more anxious in the end. I kind of in a way put up a mask so no one notices me.


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## SilentOutcast (Oct 26, 2010)

Forget about it. People without SA make F up just as much, but they don't keep thinking what happened in the past. Most of the time your the only one that remembers these embarrassing incidents and play it over and over again torturing you're self. 

You need to train your mind to just forget these situations. Try thinking of something positive taking your mind away the situation.


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## fading (Nov 12, 2010)

Hmm yes, it's true people without SA do wrong things socially too but they don't think about it that much. 
Another thing i do is, i try to realize people have moved on with their lives, while i'm the only one stuck in that moment. It helps a bit.
Anyone else has more ways to help with this please reply


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## viv (Feb 8, 2009)

I laugh. I say and do so many stupid things that I've come to expect it. I also use my mistakes as comic fodder when talking to friends or family.


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## 49erJT (Oct 18, 2010)

I know being "embarrassed" is uncomfortable but so is a headache and they both come and go. Don't tie your self worth together with experiences. You are worth much more than that.


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## Takerofsouls (Oct 20, 2010)

I find that when you do something that causes everyone to laugh at you, laugh with them and joke about it. It works for me when i do something stupid but it still bothers me when i think about it later.


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## The Boring One (Jan 4, 2011)

I just laugh at myself, or pretend nothing happened even though my face is gushing red.


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## ishere (Jan 18, 2011)

I think what has helped me the most is to put the moment into perspective and ask yourself if it was really that bad. If it was, then the best thing to do is to remind yourself that people aren't obsessing over every mistake you make or embarrassing scenario you go through. If it seems only like a big deal to you, try to let it go. The worst thing to do is try to analyze every bit of the moment to dissect what went wrong or how stupid you feel you were. Be forgiving with yourself.


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## shynesshellasucks (May 10, 2008)

I really struggle getting over it. I find that it is best to learn to not to come off as a fool again. I have made a fool out of myself many times, and it has hurt my self-esteem one way or another.


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

I just log-in here at 7am and delete all me drunken posts from the previous night


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## Kon (Oct 21, 2010)

I make fun of my oddball behaviour. It helps calm me down. Even when others make fun of it, I'm okay with it.


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## primalrose (Sep 28, 2010)

fading said:


> I guess this sounds like a silly question for an SA forum where the fear of making a fool of yourself is one of, or the highest fear.
> But when you're sure you made a fool of yourself, it's not just "in your mind". Have you ever dealt with this? Genuinely doing something very embarrassing. I would guess this happens a lot as you "learn to socialize". So anyone who is dealing with and overcoming SA has done this?? Anyway, i just want to know how people get over making a complete a** of themselves.


Knowing they will get over forget it very quickly. Believe me, people are too busy with their own lives and their own discussions to think about your little embarassment for very long. I also reflected on the times I saw another shy or awkward person have an embarasing moment, and realizing how little of a deal it was. You forget about it instantly almost. That's what really helped me get over it when it came to day-to-day life.


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## XiaoBai (Jan 18, 2011)

this is a technique that i personally use:

Ask yourself , "would this still effect me in 6 months, or even a year after?" , if u do find the answer to be "yes" , find a solution for it with a positive aproach. If no? congradulations


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## Jennifer Clayton (Nov 19, 2010)

I just step back and think of the mistakes others make, even those without SA. I know a girl who talks all the time, but she makes a fool out of herself a lot of times, looks really dumb or silly, and people will laugh if it happens. Sometimes she laughs at herself. If she is embarassed, she just gets over it eventually.

The thing about having SA is that we replay it over and over in our minds. But what helps me is realizing that all people, with SA or not, make fools out of themselves, a lot. It's not about what happens to you, but how you react to what happens to you. Our problem is overanalyzing. We will still worry about something we did long ago, while people have moved on with their lives. I make an a** out of me, you make an a** out of you, we all do!

LOL, realizing this makes me not feel so alone. :]


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## Jennifer Clayton (Nov 19, 2010)

AwkwardGal said:


> I think I used to be a bit of perfectionist too, where as these days i'm more accepting of my flaws.


That's SUCH a good trait to have, learning to be accepting of your flaws. We should be able to accept ourselves for who we are. I've had insane struggles with that. I want to learn to love myself more.

How did you learn to accept yourself?


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

accept it and move on and stop pushing it away


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## Kuyaz (Aug 2, 2009)

This is one of the hardest aspects for me, and I'm sure many others, to overcome about SA. It's pretty hard shrugging up the feelings you get with a "eh.. forget it".


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

One day I went to Starbucks. I was extremely stressed. I sat down at a table and put all my stuff down. Went up to order something. I turned around and yelled out, "Oh my God, someone stole my purse!" 

The lady next to me said, "It's on your arm." 

"Oh." 

*facepalm*

Me, the cashier and the lady just laughed about it. 

I took it as a test of overcoming social anxiety. It hurt. But I tried to look at it differently as a challenge. I came to the conclusion that it was funny.


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## Jennifer Clayton (Nov 19, 2010)

Homersxchild said:


> One day I went to Starbucks. I was extremely stressed. I sat down at a table and put all my stuff down. Went up to order something. I turned around and yelled out, "Oh my God, someone stole my purse!"
> 
> The lady next to me said, "It's on your arm."
> 
> ...


That's very good. You can see the experience doesn't always have to be so negative. It is a good thing to learn to laugh at yourself. Then embarssing stuff just isn't as embarassing anymore.

By the way, I've done stuff like that. Wearing my glasses and I'm looking for them, like "WTF happended to my glasses?" Holding something in my hand, and looking for it. We just don't think about what we are doing at that moment, that's all. Lol.


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## girly0001 (Jan 8, 2014)

Ape in space said:


> I don't get over it. I still shudder when I think of things I did 15 years ago.


.


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## Dovie (Jan 8, 2014)

It can be very hard to really get over some things.
I have a particular experience that happened over 5 years ago and from time to time I still get a sick feeling in my stomach when I think about it.

But I have gotten better with it, mostly with positive reassurance. When it pops back into memory I remind myself that every single person does things they embarrass themselves with. Many that I've heard of far worse than my own. I accept that while it's not a picture of myself I want people to have in their heads, the people who were there have their own embarrassments and problems to be concerned about. They are also aware that everyone makes mistakes or goofs up.

Still, from time to time it makes me a bit uneasy to remember, but I just have to keep working on forgiving myself. Letting go of a lot of my past embarrassment has been largely about forgiving myself I believe.


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

I just crawl into a hole and lie there for a while until I feel like coming back out or the effects of embarrassment wear off. Sometimes people remember said embarrassments, other times, I just play it off as oops, clumsy, eek and then people think it's cute. Still may not be the best coping mechanism.


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## girly0001 (Jan 8, 2014)

.


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## girly0001 (Jan 8, 2014)

coeur_brise said:


> I just crawl into a hole and lie there for a while until I feel like coming back out or the effects of embarrassment wear off. Sometimes people remember said embarrassments, other times, I just play it off as oops, clumsy, eek and then people think it's cute. Still may not be the best coping mechanism.


..it atleast is still a mechanism that works for you! I wish I could find one. Perhaps I look for re-assurance from the "normal" world, and that would "cure" my anxiety. This is not a nice attitude of mine. I think you crawling into a hole is a great idea, instead of relying on someone's re-assurance


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## girly0001 (Jan 8, 2014)

Dovie said:


> It can be very hard to really get over some things.
> I have a particular experience that happened over 5 years ago and from time to time I still get a sick feeling in my stomach when I think about it.
> 
> But I have gotten better with it, mostly with positive reassurance. When it pops back into memory I remind myself that every single person does things they embarrass themselves with. Many that I've heard of far worse than my own. I accept that while it's not a picture of myself I want people to have in their heads, the people who were there have their own embarrassments and problems to be concerned about. They are also aware that everyone makes mistakes or goofs up.
> ...


Very well said, thanks - just so important to forgive oneself. I keep reminding myself about this.


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## Dimmie (Nov 17, 2013)

...it happens to everyone at times, everyone....depends on the setting, its not as bad if its with friends, they give ya **** but its all good. A lil tougher in front of strangers but then i think we make more of it than others do. Some people can be pricks about it but heres the deal...everyone messes up, thats life and ya dont need to let it kill ya. One of the best things ive learned in life is to be able to laugh at myself and not take myself too serious. Feel embarassed, take the good-natured ribbing, reject the stupid **** and learn from it, just laugh and move on.
heres a lil secret, when you freak out about it it can freak out others, but if you can laugh it off then they will too. Thick skin is awesome lol.


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## girly0001 (Jan 8, 2014)

Dimmie said:


> ...it happens to everyone at times, everyone....depends on the setting, its not as bad if its with friends, they give ya **** but its all good. A lil tougher in front of strangers but then i think we make more of it than others do. Some people can be pricks about it but heres the deal...everyone messes up, thats life and ya dont need to let it kill ya. One of the best things ive learned in life is to be able to laugh at myself and not take myself too serious. Feel embarassed, take the good-natured ribbing, reject the stupid **** and learn from it, just laugh and move on.
> heres a lil secret, when you freak out about it it can freak out others, but if you can laugh it off then they will too. Thick skin is awesome lol.


Thanks Dimmie - this is useful advice for me! Yeah perhaps I am taking myself too serious here.


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