# Should "nice guys" be entitled to have a gf?



## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

:con 

When I say "nice guy", it is described by many as either one or more of the following, besides being nice ofcourse:
-passive/weak
-overly romantic/sensitive
-insecure/shy

I have read others' perspective on the "nice guy" and some would say that the nice guy really isn't so much about being nice, than being spineless. "Nice guy's" usually agree and nod to everything a girl says because they are not man enough to say what they actually think.


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## person86 (Aug 10, 2006)

Entitled? Nobody ought to be (or is) 'entitled' to a relationship.


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

I will only say yes, on the condition that shy girls can have the same priviledge.


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## LoneLioness (Nov 16, 2003)

A big no for me. Nice guys aren't nice if they want a girl desired by most men. If their really nice they'll be going after the shy girls.


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

this is a sympathizing post.......i really sympathize you.


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

I can't bring myself to respond to vote on this one.


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## Failure (Feb 4, 2007)

I'm going to have to say no even though i fit the the insecure/shy category. No-one is entitled to another person. Attraction isn't a choice either a guy/girl likes you or they don't. It's not the girls fault if she doesn't like guys who are quiet, that's just how her personality is, just like my personality is being an absurdly quiet guy.


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

No.


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

Would you want to date someone who was doing it because she felt you were entitled, not because she liked you? Also, does your definition of "desirable, attractive" exclude most nice women? Saying you don't want to settle for unattractive women while saying you should be entitled to women settling for you despite traits they consider unattractive (weakness, insecurity) would be inconsistent.


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## loner2389 (Oct 28, 2006)

No. Girls can have standards just like guys can.


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## cat burglar (Sep 2, 2006)

I'm a nice guy, but I'm none of those things you described. I'm not a chump or a doormat, but I'll be there for her in times of need, and make sure she feels loved and wanted. When it comes down to it, and even though I have SA, I'm stronger in a lot of ways than most guys are. Girls can take it or leave it.

I prefer shy girls anyway


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## cat burglar (Sep 2, 2006)

PS the #1 problem of 'nice' guys: they're often too clingy/needy. No girl wants that in a relationship. If your whole life is structured around time spent with her, and you hold her up on a pedestal, it won't be long before she dumps you.

Nobody is entitled to a relationship.


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

No,not really..

A nice guy to me isn't necessarily like that,not to me anyway..


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## Eraserhead (Sep 23, 2006)

*Re: re: Should "nice guys" be entitled to have a g*



person86 said:


> Entitled? Nobody ought to be (or is) 'entitled' to a relationship.


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## LoneLioness (Nov 16, 2003)

*Re: re: Should "nice guys" be entitled to have a g*



cat burglar said:


> PS the #1 problem of 'nice' guys: they're often too clingy/needy. No girl wants that in a relationship. If your whole life is structured around time spent with her, and you hold her up on a pedestal, it won't be long before she dumps you.
> .


I want that. But since I'm a nice girl, I guess I don't count :|


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## Nyx (Nov 17, 2003)

*Re: re: Should "nice guys" be entitled to have a g*



Nicolay said:


> person86 said:
> 
> 
> > Entitled? Nobody ought to be (or is) 'entitled' to a relationship.


 :agree


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## Optimistic (Nov 4, 2006)

No, there's no entitlement. "Niceness" is only one aspect of one's personality. And "niceness" is hard to define, open to one's opinion.

Still, I think that making a lady #1 in your life, centering much of your attention and interests on her, expressing your love for and committment to her, and being honest to her, is the way to go in a serious relationship.
If that's being nice, then that's the way to be.


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

No, being nice doesn't entitle me to any special privileges. I don't deserve anything in life. I've never been entitled to anything, if I wanted something I've always had to earn it through lots of hard work, but given my level of anxiety around women thats not likely to happen in this case.


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## Alexx (Feb 26, 2007)

A truly 'nice' guy wouldn't feel entitled to a relationship.


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## archaic (Jan 16, 2006)

No way. Women don't owe Nice Guys™ anything, certainly not a relationship.


P.S. Alexx, it's awesome that you've quoted Audre Lorde in your signature!


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## Skroderider (Oct 4, 2006)

Well, I think ideally _every_ person deserves to be loved, including nice guys, jerks and anyone else. Of course in reality we're not entitled to anything whatsoever, and the fact that we nice guys are generally less attractive than jerks is not going to change, so the question seems a bit pointless.


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## Thunder (Nov 5, 2003)

> "Nice guy's" usually agree and nod to everything a girl says because they are not man enough to say what they actually think.


Apparently you've never been married. That isn't being spineless, it's a learned survival skill.


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

No one is entitled to a relationship. It's something that you have to work to acheive.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

*Re: re: Should "nice guys" be entitled to have a g*



Thunder said:


> > "Nice guy's" usually agree and nod to everything a girl says because they are not man enough to say what they actually think.
> 
> 
> Apparently you've never been married. That isn't being spineless, it's a learned survival skill.


Having some spine does help. There are some guys who are just too nice. My late brother was one of them. After his death, a review of his financial records revealed that his wife was driving him to the poor house even faster than anybody in our family had imagined. He got totally screwed over, being a perfect victim who doesn't stand up and say "NO!"


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## Becky (Nov 5, 2003)

Strength said:


> :con
> 
> When I say "nice guy", it is described by many as either one or more of the following, besides being nice ofcourse:
> -passive/weak
> ...


I don't agree with that definition of "nice guy" at all. My boyfriend is a very nice guy, yet he's not at all passive, weak, overly romantic or sensitive. He is a bit shy and maybe a little insecure but he suffers from SA. And despite his comment here, he doesn't agree and nod along with everything I say. :lol


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

"I only regret that I have but one "no" vote to cast in this pole". Sorry, Nathan Hale.

This really makes an "attractive girlfriend" sound like a commodity. That's not real attractive, in and of itself.

I'm pleased at how reasonable the responses to this post are, especially from the women. Not that women are unreasonable, but I read this as nothing more than a cry for male entitlement and an objectification of women. Yes, I am a child of the 60s.


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## theprimalmale (Mar 2, 2007)

Strength said:


> I have read others' perspective on the "nice guy" and some would say that the nice guy really isn't so much about being nice, than being spineless. "Nice guy's" usually agree and nod to everything a girl says because they are not man enough to say what they actually think.


Girls LOVE *nice *guys. Waht they hate is a *WUSS*.

They want someone who's *in control of their own lives*. Who's got a direction in life, and they're going to get there... with or without her.

The problems with wusses is that they'll do whatever it takes to make the girl like him. So she'll say things like

"Can I trust you" - Yes
"Do you love me?" - Yes

Then she'll start distrusting you and throw "tests" for your sincerity

"Will you eat poo for me?" - Yes
"Will you die for me?" - Yes

Now you've placed yourself waaay beneath her.... she doesen't want a low-status man. She want so date someone who's going to lift *her up to a higher place*, or at the very least, *show her a fun time*.

Imagine a rollercoaster. Rollercoasters are a guaranteed good time. And they're going to this fun place, with or without you. They just don't care.

If the rollercoaster changed its direction to make everyone happy, it would be a very boring ride.

The rollercoaster *won't come to your house*... *you *have to go to *it*. * This is why the rollercoaster has power. That's why people line up for it.

You need to be like this increidible ride. Figure out what your ideal girl wants, the carve out a lifestyle that will attract her. And don't change your mission to make other low-quality girls happy. If she doesen't like it, she's not the one you were trying to attract.

Stop being a nice guy. Start being a nice MAN.*


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

While entitled might be the wrong word, I think girls should pick the nice safe guy more often.

The problem is what other issues does the nice guy have with self-esteem,risk taking, and insecurity. There is a lack of drama, nervousness and excitement when you are a teacher or engineer compared to a soldier, police officer, firefighter, football player, etc... The relationship with the second group would have highs and lows, while the first guys might be nice and all, but they want a stable relationship.


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