# Your weapon for the zombie apocalypse



## Limmy (Feb 15, 2013)

The zombie apocalypse is happening, and you have no money and need 2 get the first weapon that you can find, so follow these directions

1. Go to your cities' (or nearest city) Craigslist
2. Go to the free section
3. The 3rd item down is now your weapon for the zombie apocalypse

how screw'd are you?

i got a weed wacker.... not bad


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## Raphael200 (Aug 18, 2012)

I was visiting the British museum of history when the attack began,so I got the best thing I could grab.

And Look what a nice item I got:!

EXCALIBVR!


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## IveGotToast (Jan 1, 2013)

I think I'm screwed.
However i will be comfy and relaxed.


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## cmed (Oct 17, 2009)

Plants. ****. Hopefully they're vegetarian zombies.


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## Raphael200 (Aug 18, 2012)

I bet you all at the end of the apocalypse my weapon will reign supreme .


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## Limmy (Feb 15, 2013)

Smiling Tiger said:


> I bet you all at the end of the apocalypse my weapon will reign supreme .


pshhh weed wackers r ultimate zombie killing weapon


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## Lil Sebastian (Feb 26, 2012)

Ain't from craigslist, but the closest alternative
.
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.
.
.
.
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A free phones wanted ad... Dammit! I'll take the second ad then









^.^ to victory!


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## Queen of Spades (Mar 17, 2012)

O_O


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## deesonjame (Mar 10, 2013)

Sing to them.


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## Gloomlight (Jan 19, 2013)

IveGotToast said:


> I think I'm screwed.
> However i will be comfy and relaxed.


It looks like I'll be joining you.










We can watch all the others fight as we lay around in snuggies.


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## Zeppelin (Jan 23, 2012)

From Craigslist Seattle-Tacoma:

"Loveseat 'n' footstool "


















http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/zip/3682299942.html

----


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## IveGotToast (Jan 1, 2013)

This was mine today.


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## Limmy (Feb 15, 2013)

i got rice xD


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## Daniel C (Apr 17, 2012)

I've got a complete large kitchen! :yay 








At least when the zombie apocalypse comes I shall perish with the smell of freshly baked apple pie around me.


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## Charmander (Sep 5, 2012)

My only option was this:









 She-male pornos make a good weapon apparently.


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## creasy (Oct 29, 2012)

They'll have to be used as a distraction.

Their sacrifice shall not be forgotten.


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## Limmy (Feb 15, 2013)

Charmander said:


> My only option was this:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


xD for some reason I found this hilarious


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

Yeah well I guess I can cat bomb the zombie.


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## ItsEasierToRun (Feb 2, 2013)

Queen of Spades said:


> O_O


LMAO :lol


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## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

Meh I suppose could make some pointy sticks out of this.


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## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

Charmander said:


> My only option was this:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Well the straight zombies should turn around and shamble off in the opposite direction as quickly as they can. :blank


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

2 10 month old Maine **** Kittens.

Sounds like dinner, maybe bait, maybe a friend... many options.

http://maine.craigslist.org/zip/3680817477.html


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## FunkyMonkey (Nov 26, 2012)

My mom. She'd make a good weapon lol XD and if worse comes to worse she'd make a good shield too :lol >: )


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## nullptr (Sep 21, 2012)

My weapon of choice.


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## Mur (Jan 20, 2011)

Love seat and armchair.......


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## Josh2323 (Aug 26, 2012)




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## Limmy (Feb 15, 2013)




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## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

I don't know what it is with me and P*ussys they seem to be drawn to me. :sus












> Vicious orange cat. Kills humans if he could. Must be restrained with hannibal mask when not caged. Terrifying rage that can make a pitbull cower in terror, only to be plagued with ptsd for the rest of its life.
> guilty of killing
> -mice
> -chipmunks
> ...


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## Mjolnir (Mar 15, 2013)

I looked in my city and the free section had stuff listed that people WANTED for free!

However, if ignoring those posts, the third free item would be:

*Free copper wire and misc aluminum (las vegas)*

Hopefully there will be some electricians in my group of survivors!


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## typemismatch (May 30, 2012)

I'll just put a sign up. The last thing a zombie wants is a law suite.


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## Ben12 (Jul 8, 2009)

Josh2323 said:


>


Lol nice


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## NeuromorPhish (Oct 11, 2012)

cmed said:


> Plants. ****. Hopefully they're vegetarian zombies.


This.
Especially chompers and triple pea-shooters. Oh, and winter melons! Gotta have those.


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## loneranger (Dec 29, 2012)

To all this.


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

i got a puppy


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## IveGotToast (Jan 1, 2013)

I could use the heels as weapons i guess.


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## Lonely n Cold (Mar 17, 2013)

Lets get real now. ;p 

My choice would be a Walther P99 (also distributed in America as a Smith and Wesson 99). It's arguably the world's best pistol in terms of ergonomic and aesthetic design. Durable, reliable, and easy to wield, one criticism is that the trigger takes some getting used to, as the resistance level and timing is fairly unique. If one is not used to it, this can affect accuracy. Beyond that there are few issues with the P99's accuracy, or anything of its other qualities. While it is far from an exotic weapon it'll last you the whole Apocalypse.


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## Zeppelin (Jan 23, 2012)

Lonely n Cold said:


> Lets get real now. ;p
> 
> My choice would be a Walther P99 (also distributed in America as a Smith and Wesson 99). It's arguably the world's best pistol in terms of ergonomic and aesthetic design. Durable, reliable, and easy to wield, one criticism is that the trigger takes some getting used to, as the resistance level and timing is fairly unique. If one is not used to it, this can affect accuracy. Beyond that there are few issues with the P99's accuracy, or anything of its other qualities. While it is far from an exotic weapon it'll last you the whole Apocalypse.


For real my weapon of choice would be an AR-15 with a scope or eotech holograph sight and a grip (to make it easier to hold/aim) with maybe a Glock as my backup? And also carry a Kel-Tec Sub 2000 in my backpack(it folds), because it takes Glock mags and is good for long range too.

The main reason why I choose those weapons is because I am fairly familiar with them, and they are good reliable weapons.


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## Ckg2011 (Aug 9, 2011)

A gun shop.


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## Limmy (Feb 15, 2013)

Not much of a weapon, but atleast ill be looking good


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## HilarityEnsues (Oct 4, 2012)

Handgun for medium range, semi auto rifle for medium to long range and a melee weapon, preferably a blade that can sever the spine with 1 strike.


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## Bawsome (Jan 8, 2013)

This is all they had, bring on the zombies!!!


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## Otherside (Jun 8, 2012)

I'd use a chainsaw. I used to have a friend who me and another friend nicknamed "Zombie" and threatened to kill in various ways...a chainsaw, flamefrower, flagpole, staplegun, and a tincan.

I'd still use the chainsaw though.


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## IveGotToast (Jan 1, 2013)

^ I don't think you get the point of this thread.

Today I got this:


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## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

:blank


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## Brasilia (Aug 23, 2012)

Well this looks fun. I shall charm them with my music.


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

cricket bat lol...


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## zonebox (Oct 22, 2012)

I also got a pet









This Bichon Frise is one tough little piece of work, sure to handle any zombie infestation. I don't believe she is actually free. Must be all of the psychological damage that goes along with being a badarse zombie killer.

http://tampa.craigslist.org/psc/zip/3694080522.html


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## Limmy (Feb 15, 2013)

i guess i could use it 2 hide in


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## markwalters2 (Mar 18, 2013)

I'd put this on my front door ...


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## Arthur Dent (Jan 15, 2013)

Never runs out of bullets.


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## Limmy (Feb 15, 2013)

Arthur Dent said:


> Never runs out of bullets.


u really found that in the free section of craigslist?


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## Arthur Dent (Jan 15, 2013)

Limmy said:


> u really found that in the free section of craigslist?


No, I just googled for machete pics ¬.¬


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

3rd one was VHS porn, but this one was funnier


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## renegade disaster (Jul 28, 2009)

> UNEMPLOYED CAR / VAN DRIVER IN NEED OF WORK, bored OF SITTING ON BUTT ALL DAY, WILLING TO WORK FOR FREE, YES "FREE" NO CATCH, I DO NOT HAVE OWN TRANSPORT, 30 YEARS EXP, CLEAN LICENCE,


lol I wonder how i'd break the news to him.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Cardboard boxes lol. I won't last long.


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## extremly (Oct 25, 2012)

Just because I'm not good with planning for anything


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## Limmy (Feb 15, 2013)

zombies gotta deal with my collection of atari games


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## prisonofmind (Apr 12, 2013)

I'm pretty damn screwed I think.

Browl footstool yeaah


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## Limmy (Feb 15, 2013)

#SWAG


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## zomgz (Aug 17, 2009)

I'm boned.


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

lol, one smelly old sock.



> Smelly old sock
> Up for grabs is 1 lonely old sock, the sock is black in colour with a minor hole on the heel.
> This sock spent the first year of its life in a happy couple until one day last june when they went through a nasty separation. The sock has since been swinging in odd couples and worn without washes as it now fears the machine that ate its partner. If you are missing a sock or think you may have a nice home for this sock please contact a.s.a.p.


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## BelowtheCurrent (Mar 14, 2013)

2 wood pallets and some big river rocks.


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## Heyyou (May 1, 2013)

My trusty gunblade.


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## sleepydrone (Jul 28, 2012)

This is gonna be tough.


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## cmed (Oct 17, 2009)

My plan is to throw the ball to them and as they reach to catch it I whack them with that red post-like thing then hightail it on the tricycle.


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## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

Well I suppose I can fashion something out of this or several things. I might be able to carve a nice heavy club from one of those pieces of birch or that table leg and maybe some barricades from the rest.


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## selfinflicted (Jul 26, 2010)

4ft 6 in x 10in curved solid white marble mantle top


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Stock rims for a toyota prius. Chrome too. Hells yeah.


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## Zeppelin (Jan 23, 2012)

Lawn Mower!


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## bigmitch95 (May 10, 2013)

maybe do their laundry


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## bigmitch95 (May 10, 2013)

bigmitch95 said:


> maybe do their laundry


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## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

Well I suppose I can sit inside well every one dies.


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## shadeguy (Mar 28, 2013)




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