# To those who had therapy



## Snow (Jul 20, 2006)

Has therapy helped for you? My husband suggests I should go to therapy. He looked up a few people online that our insurance accepts. Their qualifications all say the same: "Anxiety..ect" but it doesn't mention "social anxiety". I am just wondering if it will be a waste of time or worth looking into. Deep down I feel like nothing will work but also deep down I still have hope for recovery. 

Thanks in advance!


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## anxiouslittleme (Feb 17, 2006)

Not to put you off, because that's the last thing I'd want to do - therapy affects people in different ways and I think is definately worth a go.
My own personal experience of NHS based therapy involved them telling me to breathe slowly. Hmm.. yes, I could figure that out on my own and it didnt help. She was nice enough it just didnt help. Anyway, i see therapy for people with SA as a contradiction - talking to strangers? Hmm. Good luck anyway, hope it works for you, it may well do. Stay positive  What doesn't work for one may well work for another, just try  I hope its a success for you.


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## Snow (Jul 20, 2006)

*Re: re: To those who had therapy*



anxiouslittleme said:


> Not to put you off, because that's the last thing I'd want to do - therapy affects people in different ways and I think is definately worth a go.
> My own personal experience of NHS based therapy involved them telling me to breathe slowly. Hmm.. yes, I could figure that out on my own and it didnt help. She was nice enough it just didnt help. Anyway, i see therapy for people with SA as a contradiction - talking to strangers? Hmm. Good luck anyway, hope it works for you, it may well do. Stay positive  What doesn't work for one may well work for another, just try  I hope its a success for you.


Thank you so much!!


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## Mehitabel (Oct 13, 2006)

I've had a few sessions of therapy, and while it hasn't been enough to show significant recovery, I can tell it's going to help. it's absolutely wonderful. Therapists listen! And they make so much sense of things. I've never had someone take notes while I explain my troubles to them. I highly recommend it to anyone.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

Therapy was great for me. It really helped me to start getting out and doing things more.


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## grumpybear (Jan 9, 2007)

I tried therapy, but it didn't help much. I felt so weird, and I didn't feel that the dr. understood what I was saying. It was before SA was really talked about. You know, before all of the commercials on tv. Anyway, she wanted me to do things faster than I felt comfortable with.

A few years later, I tried hypnotherapy. I really had hope that this would work. He said I only needed one session, but I went back a second time. He also gave me tapes to listen to to "hypnotize myself" at home. I don't even know if I was actually hypnotized. It helped a little, and whenever I wake up with an anxiety attack feeling completely helpless, I would listen to his tapes and they relaxed me. I fall asleep again, and when I wake up it isn't as bad. He also taught me other relaxation techniques.

I ordered those tapes from tv, and they help some. I have trouble sticking with the schedule, though.


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

http://www.amazon.com/Shyness-Social-An ... F8&s=books

I would read through a book like this first. This is the kind of things you will be doing in therapy (at least if you go the CBT route). The therapist is supposed to talk you through things and help you challenge your negative or fearful thinking.

I think it helped a lot, and I just wish I would have stayed in that city so I could have continued for a few more months.


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## tuna (Jun 25, 2006)

Therapy helps but you need to find the right therapist with the appropriate therapy. The problem is that even though SA is the most common of all the anxiety disorders, it is the LEAST understood by the public as well as with docs, even with some that say they treat SA. Alot of docs still just see as being shy and if we just make our negative thoughts positive, do a couple of forced exposures, and give us a relaxation tape to listen to we won't have SA anymore.

CBT *specialized for SA* is the key. That means that the doc gives you specific strategies, methods, and little steps in between that are specific for the recovery of SA. They don't just tell you to think positive. Instead they show you how to catch your negative thinking, remind you why your thoughts and feelings are irrational, have you go neutral on your thoughts, and then start moving up into positive thoughts when you feel your brain is ready to believe it. They should also target specific topics such as acceptance, perfectionism, pressuring, negative perception of the world, pain from the past, anticipatory anxiety, and ways to distract yourself from negative thoughts and emotions.

They should also teach you lots of different techniques for relaxation and negative thought stopping, not just one way. This is because you have lots of different strategies to fall back on, certain techniques will work better for certain individuals, and some techniques will work better in certain situations.

Last but not least, the doc should be capable, knowledgeable about SA and how to treat it, and should know how to act around and work with people with SA such as not waiting in silence waiting for you to talk more, staring (I don't mean simple eye contact) at you, disregarding or belittling your SA, not placing too much attention on you, especially in the beginning, or being too cold and clinical.

Some other little tidbits:
They should NEVER force you to do anything. The reason is because forcing or pressuring just makes you more anxious and reinforces those negative feelings. We want to build up our positive emotions and no longer associate negativity with things that make us anxious. The other reason is because when we decide what we are going to do and when, we learn to become assertive and feel more in control of ourselves and our lives.

If you have other disorders you may not get as much out of therapy, no matter how great the doc and program is. This is why meds are important. If you find a med that works for you, you can focus on the therapy much more and start recovery.

I find that talk therapy where you just talk about past experiences and analyzing to death why you have SA doesn't help but actually makes you worse in the long run because the more you run those old memories through your mind remembering all the negative emotions you felt, you're re-tramautizing yourself all over again. I also don't think finding out why you have SA is important to recovery. Plus talking about anxiety over and over again without any positive solutions just reinforces the anxiety and makes it stronger.

Hold on to that hope you have even when you experience setbacks (because you will), or encounter docs that are inadequate for your treatment. Maybe the first, second, or tenth doc you meet won't be able to help you but at least you're taking that chance of getting better. Just sitting back and passively waiting for SA to go away isn't ideal because most likely your SA won't go away and might even get worse.


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## Higolo (Dec 10, 2006)

It worked for me, but don't expect a recovery in 2 weeks (especially if you've got severe SA)!
I've been receiving therapy for the past 4 months, and it's taking a lot longer than I thought it would, and that's without mentioning how difficult it is.

Good luck anyway.


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## jeepy97_21 (Nov 2, 2005)

Ive been to three different therapists before, and like said already, you have to find the right therapist for you. Ive had two therapists who said I only had generalized anxiety disorder and depression, and that the reason Im avoiding people is that im depressed. :stu Their answers were to just go out and start being more social, and get on medication. Hell I already knew that! Now how do I be more social? The one therapist though, she was absolutly great. She works at a different office now though and I need to try to find her. She actually understood social anxiety disorder and the thoughts that go through our heads. Just remember, you may not be a therapist but you know more about yourself then any therapist will, and if a therapist doesnt get u, find another one. You have looked things up on the internet about sa i assume, and you can relate to everyone on this board so obviously you have sa, that hard part is finding a therapist that can see this. good luck to you.


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## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

I haven't noticed any benefit.


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## kev (Jan 28, 2005)

The main problem I find is... therapists want you to _talk._ If you're a good talker, therapy is fine, or if you're therapist is very insightful and good at picking up non-verbal clues, you'll be fine. Otherwise, progress is very slow. For me, it's as if all my problems vanish as soon as I enter the room and I find there is nothing I want to talk about it. As frustrating as this is, it still helps a little.


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## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

Therapy set me free. I'm happier now than ever b/c of my wonderful therapist.


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## Cherry (May 30, 2006)

I think it depends on the therapist, how much background knowledage they have on SA, along with experience. I went through a few therapist that just knew general anxiety and tried to mark me with that, and I didn't get anywhere with them. I found myself educating them, more than getting help. The last therapist I went to helped me out a lot and I am glad that I didn't give up getting help.


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## User (Mar 20, 2004)

That's a great post *tuna*. I've never been in CBT, but you make it sound really good.

I've been in talking therapy with the same therapist since June. My main diagnosis is depression, but my therapist is aware of my problems with SA and he's helping me there, too. My depression has gotten progressively better, and I'm functioning pretty well at the moment. The next step is to start breaking out of my isolation (which I'll be doing by doing group therapy sometime in the near future).

For depression, I highly recommend therapy. It's probably great for plain old SA, too. Simply seeing and talking to a therapist every week helps the anxiety. The important thing is to find the right therapist. Don't be afraid to see several people before deciding on a permanent therapist. You definitely don't want a therapist who is going to rush you. My first therapist underestimated my SA, and tried to push me into things before I was ready. Which left me worse off than before.

Don't expect overnight results: therapy (especially the talking kind) is a long term process.

I hear that CBT is the tried and true method for conquering SA. If you're highly motivated (and/or don't have a lot of money), then getting a CBT workbook off the Internet might be an option. But I've found that having another person guide me through therapy has forced me to confront SA.


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