# women, would you date a submissive man?



## thephantommenace (Aug 4, 2012)

by submissive i mean a man that would prefer if you take charge in the relationship and have the final say in decision making.

please only women vote.


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## Hematite (Apr 2, 2013)

Only if I can can call him a good boy and give him a belly rub, too.


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## Hufflepuff (Feb 16, 2013)

No i'm too indecisive for that


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

I voted yes because I'm submissive.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where the roles are set like that, I think.


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## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

Hematite said:


> Only if I can can call him a good boy and give him a belly rub, too.


I shall allow this.


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## TryingMara (Mar 25, 2012)

probably offline said:


> I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where the roles are set like that, I think.


Same.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

probably offline said:


> I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where the roles are set like that, I think.


I agree with this, as far as decision-making goes.

However, I personally wouldn't like the man to be super submissive in the bedroom.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

No.


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## SOME (Jul 13, 2009)

Submissive man aka beta male.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Yes. I prefer to be the one who handles the finances and such. I like to be the one that has final say in important decisions. Hmmmm.....sexually might be okay too.

I don't want be his babysitter though and I don't want a guy who will quietly resent being submissive.


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## huh (Mar 19, 2007)

I'm guessing most women would not. Both of my last girlfriends told me they didn't like my indecisiveness and the lack of confidence in my decision making. It's a turn off when you don't appear sure of yourself.


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## CoastalSprite (Sep 8, 2011)

Probably not. I think it would be best if the guy grew up in a household where he was the oldest child, and therefore used to making decisions and being in lead. I was the younger kid and growing up, no final decision was mine. Even now I don't really do anything without running the idea by my parents, brother, or a trusted friend.

Not that I expect to be taken care of, but I need a guiding influence in my life... I can't be one for someone else. I'd lead us to ruin.. :blank


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## totalloner (Jan 29, 2013)

CoastalSprite said:


> Probably not. I think it would be best if the guy grew up in a household where he was the oldest child, and therefore used to making decisions and being in lead. I was the younger kid and growing up, no final decision was mine. Even now I don't really do anything without running the idea by my parents, brother, or a trusted friend.
> 
> Not that I expect to be taken care of, but I need a guiding influence in my life... *I can't be one for someone else. I'd lead us to ruin*.. :blank


I think you'll change your mind one day. We're attracted to opposites until our self-esteem and confidence is high enough to realise "hey, I think I'd like to be the leader now"


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## Glass Child (Feb 28, 2013)

Absolutely. But I'd also want him to have a little bit of opinion so I could acknowledge his views, too.


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## elle3 (Apr 1, 2013)

Yes. I'd prefer it- decision making wise.


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

I didn't realize so many girls preferred not having an equal say in matters when in a relationship. I notice this with my mom and her husband, always have hated how he has the final say in decision making. Thought they were two equal adults who should both have an equal say. This thread is depressing, especially as a submissive person.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

ManOnTheMOON said:


> lol thats why I did not vote. *"please only women vote."* Not "please only women comment." Nice gif though lol. I'm not even the first dude to comment and the dude that did actually voted. Irony Man.


Op should have made an "other" option. Some people like me feel compelled to vote in every poll.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Should have made it a non-anonymous poll.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

komorikun said:


> Should have made it a non-anonymous poll.


Those are the best, lol.


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## elle3 (Apr 1, 2013)

Okay so I think I might have misread the original post&#8230; I saw it more as asking about taking charge (in coming to a conclusion or decision) not full out control. Basically... what Tanya1 said and I also agree with her follow up post. 


Tanya1 said:


> He was asking women, are you a woman? I highly doubt it. Also he was asking people to answer based on their own views, not others. So:





ManOnTheMOON said:


> lol thats why I did not vote. *"please only women vote."* Not "please only women comment." Nice gif though lol. I'm not even the first dude to comment and the dude that did actually voted. Irony Man.


 Irony? 
"women, would you date a submissive man"-it's not all about the poll.

the men who commented/voted still were talking about their own views. 
You didn't post what you would like for women to say. 
What you thought about the women who responded yes/no.
Or simply state an opinion based on your experience.

You made a comment about what all women's views "really" are and went on to imply that those who answered yes, were either lying or simply naive to our "deepest desires".


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## thephantommenace (Aug 4, 2012)

cypher said:


> No, but I wouldn't want the opposite either, where I had no say in anything. That would be worse. As Tanya1 said, it should be 50/50. A partnership - wow, what a concept.


that would be fine but i wouldn't try too hard since it can be a difficult balancing act. people have different personalities and some are more dominate than others. in any type of relationship one person is usually slightly more dominate than the other. for instant when you are walking down the street with somebody do you walk right beside them, behind them or in front? Submissive personalities tend to walk slightly behind whereas dominate personalities tend to walk in front. when you enter into a store with a friend and you have to ask an employee there a question is it you or your friend that usually does the talking? the more dominate personality will usually ask the question.

i guess the question i should have asked is would you date a man that is more submissive than you, then people wouldn't be thinking in extremes.



> Should have made it a non-anonymous poll.


yeah i forgot to do that and now the whole thing is ruined because i don't know how many men voted.


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## Secretly Pretentious (Dec 18, 2011)

Define "submissive." Are we talking takes-my-opinion-into-account submissive? Or needs-permission-to-go-to-the-bathroom-submissive? Like a lot of women already said on this thread, I'd want somebody who was 50/50. Sometimes I want a say in what we do and other times I'm happy to just go with the flow. That's why I'm so frustrated by the "alpha/beta" labels so many SAS guys swear by. It's too black and white. I don't want an alpha or beta. I want somebody in the middle. I think most guys are somewhere in the middle of those two extremes anyway.


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## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

komorikun said:


> Should have made it a non-anonymous poll.


But then I would have felt compelled to vote just because I could.


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## TheTraveler (Jan 31, 2013)

Id like him to make 50% of the decisions. Like what should we do instead of laying in bed all day. Sometimes I want to go out but just dont have an idea in mind. Through when it comes to sex he cant be indecisive. Who wants to halt sex while we both think hmm who wants to pick the next position?


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

It's not that hard to decide on sexual positions.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I've been in 4 long term relationship and it was way better when the guy let me control things. If they didn't then we ended up fighting a lot.


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## Emerald3 (Sep 17, 2009)

If I liked him, then I wouldn't have a problem. As long as he had some input and wasn't completely incapable of of decision making.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

ManOnTheMOON said:


> Any alpha male that walked by could easily scoop your girl up even if you managed to get one and she would enjoy being taken too because deep down she would hate everything about you.


LOL


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## Secretly Pretentious (Dec 18, 2011)

@ManOnTheMoon (Guess I'm having quoting problems too...)

Although the poll was only for woman, I agree that there's nothing wrong with you commenting. I think your perspective is worthy of discussion. 

From an evolutionary psychology view, your theory makes a lot of sense. I don't think evolutonary psychology should be ignored, but it's questionable how much it plays into our psyches. I think women may be a slightly more passive than men on average, in the same way men have slightly better math scores on average. It's significant, but it's not dramatic. I also think socialization plays a part in it. Both men and woman are led to believe that men should be the ones approaching women and setting up dates. It's BS, but not adhereing to that norm is seen as offputting. (I have a strong opinion on women approaching men, but that's a whole other discussion.) When a man and a woman start getting involved, most of the time (not all the time), the woman tends to be the more passive party. But as time goes by and the two people become more comfortable around each other, gender norms tend to lax. Sometimes the female stays more submissive. Sometimes the relationship evens out. And sometimes the female becomes the more dominant partner.


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## elle3 (Apr 1, 2013)

ManOnTheMOON said:


> It was a general statement and a personal opinion. I honestly believe the majority of women are naturally wired this way.


I do not know why you can't quote me, I can't quote your last post either.

I have had similar experiences as komorikun stated, out of the three long term relationships I've had, the only one that was unhealthy was the one where the guy took the lead. It was mainly your first sentence that caused me to reply and support tanya1's reply. You not only expressed your opinion, you stated your opinion as fact and any *women *who posted differently was naive to the "facts" you stated.

"lol the *ones who say they would,* *would drop you in less than a month.* Women want a real man in every sense of the word.* Any alpha male that walked by could easily scoop your girl up* even if you managed to get one and *she would enjoy being taken too* because *deep down she would hate everything about you.*"

From my experience, I have never been scooped up by any man, taken from a boyfriend, or hated everything about any of my previous boyfriends who allowed me to be in charge of making final decisions.

Since your first post, you have stated things more like your opinion of the general female population but your first post was not stated in the same manner.

If *thephantommenace *would personally prefer the female take charge in a relationship, he should know that there are women out there who not only would accept but prefer a relationship like that. Everything is not black and white. Not every or even most people can be generalized in simple terms.

The guys who continue to perpetuate this alpha/beta stuff on this site are not helping themselves or anyone else. You're only creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.


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## renegade disaster (Jul 28, 2009)

ManOnTheMOON said:


> lol the ones who say they would, would drop you in less than a month. Women want a real man in every sense of the word. Any alpha male that walked by could easily scoop your girl up even if you managed to get one and she would enjoy being taken too because deep down she would hate everything about you. Even women who like to be bossy, when a man comes along who can finally manage their personality and dominate them its over. Theres three things that drive women away fast, the first is a neediness, the second is too much jealousy(some jealousy is desired), and the last is being a doormat.


i've known women before that actually look for submissive partners. if a guy was a doormat they wouldn't even mind and they are completely turned off by alpha male types. it is possible.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

Tanya1 said:


> He was asking women, are you a woman? I highly doubt it. Also he was asking people to answer based on their own views, not others. So:


This is probably on my top 5 list of most appropriate GIF responses on SAS. Bravo!

I voted yes. Although I'd prefer a more "egalitarian" relationship.


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