# Blank Mind



## AcinoreV

Does anybody else here have a "blank mind syndrome" where their mind goes nonstop on various subjects when alone, but when in the presence of a person/people and are required to interact, suddenly your mind goes completely blank?

I don't know how to cope with this when I talk to someone face to face. I can have a complete conversation with a person in my mind and come up with good questions to ask, but I can't remember any of them when is see them in real life. This makes it nearly implossible to carry on a conversation with some one at school, a friend, or even get through a therapy session without long awkward pauses. 

So far the only trick I have to help me is to write out a script for phone conversations, and if it is a tech support related call I right down my name, address, phone number, and any relavent data that I normally have memorized because I'm likely to forget or stutter when giving out information. 

Carrying around a notepad with "common conversation topics" and pulling it out when in social situations is not practical, so does anyone have suggestions one how not to appear to be a mindless zombie around people?


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## matt404

I unfortunately don't have much advice to give, but I do know exactly what you mean. Your description of "blank mind syndrome" sounds like me exactly. I can never think of anything to say when I'm with another person, though when I'm alone I have a pretty active mind. I've also done things like write down my phone number and address before making a call that I knew would ask for them, just to be sure I didn't stutter when they asked.

The only thing I've found to help a bit is to basically try to guess what the other person will ask and come up with lots of possible responses/questions beforehand. I pretty much imagine myself having whatever encounter I'm preparing for and imagine all the things they might say and how I'd respond until I've had dozen of imaginary conversations with them and will hopefully have some "path" to follow no matter how the conversation goes. This works OK for meetings at work and other structured interactions, not so well in a social setting though.

I have heard something that seems to help in more informal social settings. I've seen it stated several ways, but the one I remember is from "How to Win Friends and Influence People." To paraphrase, "You can make more friends in a week by being genuinely interested in other people than you can in a year by trying to make other people interested in you." I'm not sure how well it works in forming long-term friendships, but it does help to keep conversation flowing. Just simple, non-profound questions about the other person seem to work OK. It also keeps the other person talking so you don't have to. 

As far as not remembering what you've come up with beforehand, maybe you're trying to remember too much? For normal social encounters, I usually try to come up with 1-2 questions beforehand that I can ask the other person so they're easy to remember (though this only works for me when I already sort of know the other person. I'm not very good at conversations with total strangers).

Well, anyway, not sure that was much help. I do know exactly how you feel, though. I hope someday I figure out how to have normal conversations without so much preparation.


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## waddiwaski

god this could have been written by me. Just today I was trying to talk to someone and I just completely blanked on everything I wanted to say. I can see where I want to go in my mind, but something is stopping me from getting there - I get flustered and start to hear how stupid I sound and how little sense I'm making. It's embarrrrrrraaassssssiiiiiinnngggg.


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## Lunachik

matt404 said:


> I unfortunately don't have much advice to give, but I do know exactly what you mean.


:ditto


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## permafrost

This is a problem I've always had too, ever since school days. And right now I have it, I read an interesting post, think of lots of things I'd like to say, hit the "reply" button and immediately draw a blank. Very frustrating! Its like I can't translate whats in my head into meaningful sentances.


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## fallingdownonmyface

*interested in more responses.


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## wootmehver

I jot down topics I want to discuss with people on the phone before calling sometimes so there will be no pregnant pauses. I also make notes of topics to discuss with people face-to-face as well. If something interesting happened to me and I think "x" number of people would like to hear it I will give the anecdote a title and list the names of people who might want to hear it and cross off their names after I tell them. That way I won't forget and tell the same story twice to someone. BTW, a friend caught me glancing at my "convo notes" in his presence once. Funny.


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## Prism

Yup a very common occurance. This especially happens to me when I'm in a classroom environment and there is a discussion going on. God forbid I get called on for input. Though I can usually come up with something now whereas when I was a kid I would just remain completely silent.

Also this "blank mind syndrome" occurs when I'm meeting someone for the first time. 

What's interesting is when I am feeling strong emotions I don't have the blank mind problem. If I am angry, anxious (in a focused way) or happy it is much easier to throw off any timid feelings I might have.


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## MouseWithoutKeyboard

In my english course a couple of semsters back, the professor grouped us into 2 pairs (the worst kind of group ever). Anyways, we were reading a chapter together and asking each other questions about the chapter....I hadn't purchased my book yet so we shared and the whole time we were reading...all I can think was what the other guy was thinking of me. After reading the chapter...I was just silent lol and I dropped the class that night.

Also at work, when we are in conferences and brainstorming about how to solve a problem...I usually try to speak up of ways and as soon as I do....I can't get anything out and things start going blank and they stare at me and I start stuttering and it's a total mess. Some of the employees also smile...so I get the feeling they are laughing at me (at the stuttering lol). I learned to live with it though.


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## CoconutHolder

I can really relate to this one. When I'm comfortable and in my own element, my mind goes and goes. When I have to have a convo with someone, I have a hard time getting thinking of anything useful to say. :mum 

I can really relate to forgetting things also. I like to be fully prepared for things before I go through with them. That is the only way I can feel really comfortable to go through with it. Otherwise, I'm stumbling over my words/thoughts.


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## Cherry

I do this a lot. It's frustrating after realizing how much I could had contribute to the conversation. My suggestion would be to ask questions, which is one way of being invovled in the conversaton. I know we think that we have those interactive listening skills but just listening isn't enough.


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## njodis




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## nemesis

Borrowed from http://www.esrcsocietytoday.ac.uk/ESRCI ... geId=11751

Previous research has shown that anxiety can impair a person's ability to perform complex cognitive tasks, such as mathematical calculations or verbal tests, but it is not clear how. This study approaches the question from the perspective of cognitive psychology, focusing on the effects of anxiety on processing efficiency as well as performance effectiveness. In addition to laboratory experiments, the researchers examined how students with a range of anxiety levels coped with the real task of writing a compulsory coursework essay over a ten-week period. The findings have played an important role in the development of a new Attentional Control Theory, which argues that anxiety impairs the general attentional component of the working memory system, rather than the mechanisms involved in verbal or visual/spatial processing.

*Key findings*

In the first laboratory experiment, anxious students responded less quickly to secondary auditory stimuli whilst performing a main task, consistent with the notion that anxiety reduces available general attention resources. This suggests that the adverse effects of anxiety are greater on processing efficiency than performance effectiveness.[/*:m:14hphrbn]


The second laboratory experiment was designed to find out which components of Baddeley's working memory system were most affected by anxiety. The participants performed a complex visuo-spatial task at the same time as a series of secondary tasks, which required the use of different cognitive mechanisms (verbal, visuo-spatial or general attention). The results confirm that anxiety impairs the efficiency of the central attention mechanism, making it hard to perform two tasks that both use that component of working memory.[/*:m:14hphrbn]


The main emphasis of the third experiment was on examining performance efficiency and processing effectiveness in a real life academic situation. Students were required to write a coursework essay and to keep a diary of their working time and methods. There was no difference in the essay marks of participants with high or low anxiety scores, but the anxious students reported using less coherent and more disorganised work strategies. However, against prediction, there was no significant difference in the time spent on producing the work.[/*:m:14hphrbn]


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## shy1984

I think this is key to the cycle of SA. The 'mind blank' or freeze-response as I call it leads to social failure (i.e. people walking away from you at parties since you have no conversation). Social failure leads to low self-esteem, depression, loneliness, etc. Low self-esteem makes you more likely to freeze. Cycle continues.

HOW TO NOT FREEZE?

If I knew, I probably wouldnt be here.


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## scotthallkevinnash

I know how not the freeze. Go into the microwave. Yep thats right. Go right into the darn diddly microwave. 

This way you can mentally keep a visual thought within your brain head and it will allow you to overcome this natural freezing syndrome. 

On certain occasions it may be necessary to take supplements to counteract the vitamin deficiency that occurs when using this method of mental substitution.


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## nemesis

> Go into the microwave. Yep thats right. Go right into the darn diddly microwave.


Are you suggesting that people place their head within a microwave oven?


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## shydirtbikeguy

:ditto :con :yes


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## ibanez25

Here's a question if you were relaxed do you think the converstion would flow? The answer is, without a doubt, yes.
It's human nature to be distrusting of strangers so the feeling has a place and is there for a reason. Even perfectly normal, socially adjusted people have these same feelings, just not to the degree that S.A sufferers do. Just remember were only human you don't have to appear to be a superstar. We are all concerned about the same things so just relax.


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## MajesticVisions

This is just like me. Of course after the moment has passed I can think of like ten things I could have said. My mind just goes blank and I can't pull anything out of it. Ugh.


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## jordana

This totally happens to me after I've run out of things to ask someone.. and usually when I'm asking them I'm so busy thinking what my response is going to be and how I'm going to relate it to me so I can keep convo going that when it comes time for me to bring up a new subject I can't think of anything.. so I usually just ask more questions.. but I so badly want to be able to have that quick mind think on my feet kind of thing


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## Links

Yes I get the blank mind offline and also online. I have it right now and this is the reason I do not post very much.


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## rick18

I have the same thing but to me I think its more of a confidence factor, I usually have a more relaxed normal mind with confidence and being comfortable with who I am. 

If you are able to cope with situations that require you to think on your feet so to speak then in my personal experience I got more confidence because I was comfortable with myself with more practice and I was able to start thinking instead of drawing a blank.

I don't know if this helps anyone out any, again its a personal experience I can't really say thats how anyone else works to cope with being able to think in pressure situations better.


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## Some Russian Guy

njodis said:


>


yup, that's me...


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## blockhead

waddiwaski said:


> god this could have been written by me.


i was gonna write this.


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## Gotanonymous

Like others have said, I could have been the OP .

Come to think of it, knowing that I can't carry conversation is EXACTLY why I avoid parties, and it's why I avoid talking to people in general. I feel like I just have nothing interesting -- scratch that, nothing _at all_ -- to talk about.. I have fun at work sometimes when I can just mess around with everyone, but I'd never actually be able to have a conversation with them, and when the atmosphere is dull, very little is said to me.

It was mentioned in here that asking questions is a way of filling the void, but it is NOT the solution. I can sit and find things to ask questions about all night long, but people get bored of just answering questions very fast.


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## shyvr6

Old thread, but a common problem with having anxiety.


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## Hippo

Sometimes i find it hard to speak. Like if I'm at work and staring at a screen for hours on end and then suddenly someone comes up to me and asks me something, its like my brain can't form the words.


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## MrFrenz

Very often. I usually look blank-faced when I am in public. It's often because I work part-time as a bouncer at a bar. When I am standing around waiting for something to happen I don't usually look "present". 

The other day an acquaintance of mine was saying something and I wasn't fully aware of what he was saying so I just kinda looked through him and my face was still blank and he goes "are you okay?" I brushed it off deftly enough, but he could tell that I was miles away.

Blank mind just goes with the blank face for me. I'm not even thinking about reacting, I'm just... there.


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## JackONeill

AcinoreV said:


> Does anybody else here have a "blank mind syndrome" where their mind goes nonstop on various subjects when alone, but when in the presence of a person/people and are required to interact, suddenly your mind goes completely blank?


That happens to me. So far I haven't found a solution, :no other than avoiding face-to-face conversations.

When I'm alone, or when everyone minds their own business, my mind is quite active. It's when someone turns their attention to me that my mind goes blank.


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## Zwick

MrFrenz said:


> Very often. I usually look blank-faced when I am in public. It's often because I work part-time as a bouncer at a bar. When I am standing around waiting for something to happen I don't usually look "present".
> 
> The other day an acquaintance of mine was saying something and I wasn't fully aware of what he was saying so I just kinda looked through him and my face was still blank and he goes "are you okay?" I brushed it off deftly enough, but he could tell that I was miles away.
> 
> Blank mind just goes with the blank face for me. I'm not even thinking about reacting, I'm just... there.


Th brain fog goes with my blank stare just like you.

People at work and family members often ask me what's wrong or "why are you sad?" when I'm not sad and nothing is wrong lol.

I wonder if SA effects are subconcious and we put on these "stone faces" because we are affraid to express any sort of real emmotion like happy, angry, truly sad for fears of being "judged"

I dunno. That's what i'm thinking right now but you can add me to being a possible OP of this thread.

It's like a dark dark fog roles in.. So frustrating.


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## Gotanonymous

Zwick said:


> Th brain fog goes with my blank stare just like you.
> 
> People at work and family members often ask me what's wrong or "why are you sad?" when I'm not sad and nothing is wrong lol.
> 
> I wonder if SA effects are subconcious and we put on these "stone faces" because we are affraid to express any sort of real emmotion like happy, angry, truly sad for fears of being "judged"
> 
> I dunno. That's what i'm thinking right now but you can add me to being a possible OP of this thread.
> 
> It's like a dark dark fog roles in.. So frustrating.


Really? I always imagine it as a bright white fog lol.


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## hopelesslyshy

Yes, my mind goes blank a lot around other people. Usually with my tutors for my school work. Like really simple and easy things that you should just remember and I'm constantly going blank cause I get nervous and feel like I'm under pressure to get answers right lol. But I end up looking like an idiot anyways.


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## rollerboogie

I completely have this. I can break through it if I really push myself to speak as much as possible and to forget about the anxiety, it's rought though


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## StampedeTheVash

Yup. One thing that works for me is looking at the environment around me and making observations. That wakes my mind up sometimes, sometimes not. Blank mind syndrome, has a nice ring to it. Definitely feels good to know that we're not alone with it though


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## BeatingSAwithastick

Yeah I hate this. Happens to me everyday. I usually desperately try to make up conversation on the spot to compensate, but this usually makes me look childish, or I say something I regret later.

Like for example I might repeat negative/hateful gossip or try and imitate what I saw someone else doing/saying to keep a convo going, and then I regret it because I hate gossip/gossips, and feel like a dick and a hypocrite for talking about other people (even if I don't like them or they are gossips themselves), and I hate having to imitate other people, not being myself...damn you SA.



shy1984 said:


> I think this is key to the cycle of SA. The 'mind blank' or freeze-response as I call it leads to social failure (i.e. people walking away from you at parties since you have no conversation). Social failure leads to low self-esteem, depression, loneliness, etc. Low self-esteem makes you more likely to freeze. Cycle continues.
> 
> HOW TO NOT FREEZE?
> 
> If I knew, I probably wouldnt be here.


Ditto.


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## millenniumman75

Derealization/Depersonalization - anxiety, pure and simple.


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## Madison_Rose

Glad this was bumped - the OP describes exactly the problem I have. I'm sometimes better, sometimes worse, but I take heart from the fact I'm much better at conversaiton than I was 10 years ago - maybe if I keep making an effort it'll all come together for me in time.


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## Zillah

Totally relate. When I know I'm meeting someone who makes me nervous I carry a list of topics and potential questions to ask them if the conversation doesn't flow naturally. I make sure to check the list when nobody's looking  When I'm alone, I have so many things I know I want to ask, but on the spot I'm too nervous to remember anything. :roll


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## LostPancake

I think this is one of those built in circuits in the brain - when you're in a new social situation, or an environment that provokes a lot of anxiety, the brain switches all its attention to external stimuli, leaving little to none for internal things like thoughts and memory. It wants you to survive, so puts all your attention on the environment, to watch out for danger. Your focus is especially on what other people think of you, and trying to avoid offending people. 

It is possible to get better at this, especially as you learn to relax in social situations. I used to ALWAYS kill conversations when I was younger, but it's gotten a lot better over the years. Being on an SSRI helps a lot with reducing the anxiety. 

Also, try to keep your focus on your own train of thought, and try to ignore thinking about what the other person is thinking about you, and especially, try to RELAX and ENJOY the conversation, as much as you can - it does help.


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## ningamer

Oh man, this is totally me!

It's so hard trying to say what you want! Most of the time everything that comes out of my mouth (around lots of social interaction) is all jibberish and mumbly.

Does anyone have a problem with lying? Not intentionally, but just out of anxiety.

The other day, a girl asks me at work if I'm going to prom. I'm not going because I have no friends and I have no desires to go to a place with that many people. 

Instead of saying no, I reply with "..maybe" in a very jokingly tone. I didn't want to say that, it just happened. Next thing she asks, "are you going with anyone?". Once again I replied with "maybe", in the same tone.

Now she thinks I'm going to prom with someone, and keeps begging to tell her who the girl is. It's funny, not only am I not even going to prom, but I wouldn't be going with a girl anyways because I'm gay (which no one at work knows).

So now, people keep bugging me about prom all because I said some lie out of anxiety >_<.


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## Gotanonymous

ningamer said:


> Oh man, this is totally me!
> 
> It's so hard trying to say what you want! Most of the time everything that comes out of my mouth (around lots of social interaction) is all jibberish and mumbly.
> 
> Does anyone have a problem with lying? Not intentionally, but just out of anxiety.
> 
> The other day, a girl asks me at work if I'm going to prom. I'm not going because I have no friends and I have no desires to go to a place with that many people.
> 
> Instead of saying no, I reply with "..maybe" in a very jokingly tone. I didn't want to say that, it just happened. Next thing she asks, "are you going with anyone?". Once again I replied with "maybe", in the same tone.
> 
> Now she thinks I'm going to prom with someone, and keeps begging to tell her who the girl is. It's funny, not only am I not even going to prom, but I wouldn't be going with a girl anyways because I'm gay (which no one at work knows).
> 
> So now, people keep bugging me about prom all because I said some lie out of anxiety >_<.


HAHAHA! I did the same thing at work! "Sorry, baby, there's someone else." (Jokingly..) "Is there really?" "Maybe.." "OMG. Who is she!?" (Me on the inside: -.-;.......) "Someone.." (Jokingly) "Is she a _girlfriend_?" "Not exactly.." (Sarcastic) /sigh


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## Queenie

*...*

haha yea this happens to me too....even on here when I'm reading a post that I want to reply to, I think of all these things I want to write but when it comes to the time to write it I feel like I can't describe it properly or something...seeing all these other ppl posting interesting posts, it's like what I'm about to write doesnt even compare, they describe ot so much better


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## OptimisticPlatypus

This is one of the most frustrating aspects of S.A. Asking the other person small questions is perhaps the best way to combat this...though it will leave you frustrated as well. The key is to make yourself believe that the other person is actually interested in what you have to say. Most of us S.A. sufferers are creative, outside-the-box thinkers, so it goes without saying that our take on things is often quite different from non-sufferers. Take this into consideration next time you strike up a convo...I take it as a compliment when I hear "I never thought of it that way" or "What?! That's crazy." Our oft-kilt opinions and sideways perspectives are as important as the everyday banter we avoid. Keep that in mind.


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## Gotanonymous

OptimisticPlatypus said:


> This is one of the most frustrating aspects of S.A. Asking the other person small questions is perhaps the best way to combat this...though it will leave you frustrated as well. The key is to make yourself believe that the other person is actually interested in what you have to say. Most of us S.A. sufferers are creative, outside-the-box thinkers, so it goes without saying that our take on things is often quite different from non-sufferers. Take this into consideration next time you strike up a convo...I take it as a compliment when I hear "I never thought of it that way" or "What?! That's crazy." Our oft-kilt opinions and sideways perspectives are as important as the everyday banter we avoid. Keep that in mind.


I don't usually have the ability to formulate complex ideas in a social situation, many times even with only one other person. I can write clearly, but when I go to speak, just garbage comes out. I get lost in my own words, trying to find the right ones to articulate my thought clearly (and intelligently). In the process, I lose my train of thought, finish my sentence, then have to completely rethink my stance on the topic before I can continue. I will often get hung up on an individual word.. I have a more-than-adequate vocabulary, but I wind up settling for the most basic words that make me sound like an idiot.

Anyway, I just can't imagine myself ever telling a series of thoughts that would invoke an "I never thought of it that way" response.. Not unless I was tweaking on Adderall or rolling..


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## Omnium11

I really hate this, it happens to me whenever I am telling a story.


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## mypasswordneverworks

yes


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## fallingdownonmyface

anyone have any luck with any drugs/stimulants (aside from alcohol) that are good at helping the blank mind syndrome.?

this blank mind state of mind is probably what lost me opportunities with a few girls i knew.theyll still talk to me and all but things arent really the same .

this blank mindedness makes you appear inconsistent and a little off socially

i dont get how some people stay social the whole day and night


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## whitesnake87

Sometimes this happens. There has been a couple of times when I was going to ask somebody out but I wasn't sure what to say and I knew that my mind would go blank so what I did was practice for weeks so that way I could memorize what I would say. 
But then when I finally was going to ask that person out I didn't do it because I would convince myself that it was a bad idea. Then I decided that I would do it anyway only because I had nothing to lose but then when I finally wanted to do it she wasn't there. 
Then I felt bad because I should have asked her out earlier. 
Then I can't stop thinking about the whole situation. 
Then I feel stupid. 
Then I just want to smash my face in with a brick.


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## cheerio

I think this issue is one of the major reasons why I have SA. When I do have something to talk about (and know how to articulate it) I become more comfortable talking and enjoy conversing with people. But, when my mind feels like it's empty, leaving me with nothing to contribute on my end, then my SA kicks in. This happens quite often when I'm with someone for a prolonged period of time, where I feel the pressure of needing to keep up a conversation. During these moments, I try to build upon topics I've discussed or past conversations I've had with the person, which allows you to develop a convo from there. But, sometimes, my anxiety even prevents my mind from remembering what I spoke with them about before! I just hate it when I have trouble conjuring up past experiences or anecdotes that relates to the topic at hand. That's definitely a convo stumper.


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## MrFrenz

whitesnake87 said:


> Sometimes this happens. There has been a couple of times when I was going to ask somebody out but I wasn't sure what to say and I knew that my mind would go blank so what I did was practice for weeks so that way I could memorize what I would say.
> But then when I finally was going to ask that person out I didn't do it because I would convince myself that it was a bad idea. Then I decided that I would do it anyway only because I had nothing to lose but then when I finally wanted to do it she wasn't there.
> Then I felt bad because I should have asked her out earlier.
> Then I can't stop thinking about the whole situation.
> Then I feel stupid.
> Then I just want to smash my face in with a brick.


This might warrant another thread, but the last line gave me a thought that could also be answered.

Have you ever had violent fantasies towards yourself? Not like, killing yourself (although I'm sure it happens.) But just like defacing or maiming? I've had some about just wanting to grab my throat and just tear it out.

Why? I can't tell, maybe just a cry for attention because of feeling so isolated, but I also have violent fantasies towards others. Usually involving axes. I don't know why, but it's always an axe.  So primitive and brutal, I guess. Very painful and visceral; like an antidote to the dullness that you can feel from seeing myself an outsider all the time. Discuss. (Yes, I'm in therapy.)

Also: Ditto on the occasional lying urge. Usually it's just a name, and not all the time. Sometimes it's age. I don't tell people I'm a starship captain or some bs.


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## hopeful17

geese, the blank mind is ongoing with me! its especially hard when u are with a group of people and they want you to contribute to the conversation. my mind comes up woth absolutely nothin!


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## lone8wolf

I have that all the time. Most people won't even bother talking to me anymore.


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## J_111

Happens to me sometimes.


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## Emman36

Ya it happens to me when i try to talk to someone i dont really know. 
This last semester in college i had a friend in my chem class. It was easy to talk to him but i found that when ever his other friend was around, i didnt say much...it's annoying :sigh


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## wiselittleracoon

Yes,I do this too.I'm afraid to begin a conversation becuase of this.I had something to say,but its gone right in the middle of it,then followed by a short silence,then a akward laughing at myself,and then a not so graceful finish saying anything to get them to stop looking for the end of the sentance because its gone,so I just have to be honest and say its gone..lol.I wish I could talk natrually.


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## tooshytosay

njodis said:


>


This describes me perfectly!

If you're the person on the left you might think that I'm an incredibly boring, untalkative, 'antisocial', stuck-up, kind of guy.

If you're ME, the guy on the right - this is what's happening: suddenly, your mind's gone blank. You have many wonderful ideas, and thoughts regarding what she just said - but suddenly, all of that has just rushed out of your mind. You feel like you're now staring at a blank piece of paper. Meanwhile, time's ticking by rapidly - and the social imperative is that you give an answer. So you hastily say a "no", just to show her that you did not ignore her. You continue to try to think of what to say - but you can't. You just can't, it's like staring at a blank wall. Finally, the other person gives up. The other person leaves, and suddenly, everything you COULD have said, comes flooding back in.

===

Hence, in my view, the crux of the problem is NOT whether you "truly" have "something worthwhile to say" or not; rather, all those things that you COULD have said are just "inaccessible" to your brain while you're actually "under the spotlight".

And this is where I think traditional "conversation advice" fails us - for they just advise you on a list of "things to talk about". What this sort of thing "assumes" is that "we are boring people with little thoughts of our own, hence nothing naturally to talk about". That is of course NOT the issue! The issue rather is that our cognitive functioning grinds to a standstill when we're obliged to speak; suddenly we "forget everything".

Hence, on the surface, we appear "as if we have nothing to contribute", when really - there are a billion things we COULD say, KNOW we should say and WANT to say; but it's just that when the spotlight's on us - voila! all of that disappears...


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## OKdOut

tooshytosay said:


> This describes me perfectly!
> 
> If you're the person on the left you might think that I'm an incredibly boring, untalkative, 'antisocial', stuck-up, kind of guy.
> 
> If you're ME, the guy on the right - this is what's happening: suddenly, your mind's gone blank. You have many wonderful ideas, and thoughts regarding what she just said - but suddenly, all of that has just rushed out of your mind. You feel like you're now staring at a blank piece of paper. Meanwhile, time's ticking by rapidly - and the social imperative is that you give an answer. So you hastily say a "no", just to show her that you did not ignore her. You continue to try to think of what to say - but you can't. You just can't, it's like staring at a blank wall. Finally, the other person gives up. The other person leaves, and suddenly, everything you COULD have said, comes flooding back in.
> 
> ===
> 
> Hence, in my view, the crux of the problem is NOT whether you "truly" have "something worthwhile to say" or not; rather, all those things that you COULD have said are just "inaccessible" to your brain while you're actually "under the spotlight".
> 
> And this is where I think traditional "conversation advice" fails us - for they just advise you on a list of "things to talk about". What this sort of thing "assumes" is that "we are boring people with little thoughts of our own, hence nothing naturally to talk about". That is of course NOT the issue! The issue rather is that our cognitive functioning grinds to a standstill when we're obliged to speak; suddenly we "forget everything".
> 
> Hence, on the surface, we appear "as if we have nothing to contribute", when really - there are a billion things we COULD say, KNOW we should say and WANT to say; but it's just that when the spotlight's on us - voila! all of that disappears...


The mystery is where did it go. At times I've had a boatload of stuff to say, and it all vanishes the second I opened my mouth. Where did it go?

I think, I don't think in words. From an early age, I was alone and always kept my thoughts in my head because there was no one to share it with. I have learned to use words for academics and some forms of communications but, my brain doesn't think in words, and when I have to speak, it's like I have to translate my thoughts into another form that someone else can understand, and it seems like somethings always go wrong in the translation.

The heart of the matter is that we hold strong internal feelings, beliefs, wants and needs, and these are in stark conflict with the prevailing mundane attitudes of most people.
Thus we generate a Cognitive Dissonance which is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding two contradictory ideas simultaneously. In trying to share our alien experience of SA with someone unable to understand it, we are trying to speak friendly and openly, while holding our inner thoughts timid and closed. The result is that the natural flow of language becomes paralyzed, leading to emotional states such as anxiety, guilt, shame, anger, embarrassment, and stress.


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## radames

I am not sure if age is relative to this but I used to have so many more things going on upstairs when I was in graduate school but now that I have been out for a few years I am much more mentally lethargic.
For fun, I took the Praxis test online (I wanted to try teaching because it is funded by the government) in order to see how much I still knew. I still am able to work out the math problems in my head without the formula. I bet my math teacher is very happy about that.
At times I get like this when I am with other people. It is usually when I am burned out mentally but typically I think quickly on my "feet." But I wonder if the simple reason of being more tired and having a more run-down body is a reason that people get blanks when trying to converse? I can speak slowly at times when I am feeling tired. Hmmm, who knows?


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## Holly Short

Yep. It's happens to me when I'm online, too. That's why I don't post much.


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## JS86

AcinoreV said:


> Does anybody else here have a "blank mind syndrome" where their mind goes nonstop on various subjects when alone, but when in the presence of a person/people and are required to interact, suddenly your mind goes completely blank?


I used to have this problem really bad, to the point I didn't bother to try to interact with other people because I had nothing to say, yet I could go on endlessly about a variety of subjects within my mind. I think part of the problem was that I could go on about deeper and complex topics in my mind, but when it came to more superficial exchanges I struggled. I still have the problem of a blank mind with some people, or simply not being able to bring up a topic of conversation, or not being confident enough in the subject matter to make a point, but it has since improved. I can carry a conversation, or at least participate in a conversation, most of the time.



> So far the only trick I have to help me is to write out a script for phone conversations, and if it is a tech support related call I right down my name, address, phone number, and any relavent data that I normally have memorized because I'm likely to forget or stutter when giving out information.


I write down important details on a notepad too, but not for social conversations. The other day, for example, I made a booking and so I wrote down details so I did not forget them. I have found in some situations I can forget important details or thought of a lot of things beforehand, but forgot them in the spur of the moment.



> Carrying around a notepad with "common conversation topics" and pulling it out when in social situations is not practical, so does anyone have suggestions one how not to appear to be a mindless zombie around people?


You could try noting what some of your peers tend to talk about and then try to become knowledgeable in that subject. For example, if they talk endlessly about one particular television show, and you can stomach watching that show, then watch it so you can participate in their conversation.


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## shaketheglitter

Argh, I have this too. So annoying! I feel like I might actually be able to make friends more easily if I had any idea what to say when people talk to me. I usually just take the smile and nod approach but the annoying thing is that as soon as the "conversation" is over I can think of a million of things to say.
Unfortunately I don't have any advice but I do find that it becomes easier once I know the person better and I'm used to them, if you know what I mean.


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## abizboah

This is a big one for me and one of the main reasons I'm so bad with people. I just don't know what to say to anyone. The worst is when people try to joke around with me but I can't think of how to respond so end up coming across really serious and dull.

Distracting yourself by focusing on other people and your surroundings is meant to be a big help but I've been finding it hard to put into practice. The idea is to listen completely to what the other person is saying instead of constantly trying to think of something to say yourself so your mind relaxes and responses come naturally.


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## MissSA

I get this when I am faced with someone who is being condescending or if they treat me like I'm stupid. I also get this blank mind when I am walking around where it is crowded. I become afraid of the people who are walking past me, I become anxious and my mind goes blank. I try to counteract it by making myself think of something. I look around and try to distract myself with different things. My thoughts aren't always coherent but it helps to try. I try to tell myself to calm down that people are not staring at me and if they are staring at me it's because I'm pretty and I stand out because no one looks like me around here.


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## TaniaN

This happens to me a lot and no one ever seems to understand what I mean when I try to tell them. I was at my worst at work during staff meetings where my boss wanted each person to basically put on a show about how great they were and how great the work they were doing was. I would go blank and she would get so irritated and embarrass me right then and there.


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## ZelkaTrain

It seems that all of us are saying the same things..and yes I think most people have "mind-blanking" pretty routinely just not to such a degree as SAers. One of the things that hurts us is the fact that we dwell on the fact that we can't think of anything, and since thoughts like these are occupying our minds it makes it damn near impossible to think of anything useful/creative to contribute to the conversation.

I still struggle with this, but I feel like I am making progres little by little. One tip that I like to use is an acronym CPR. CPR stands for Confident, Positive, and Relaxed. When I'm confident I have a glow and a smille that I portray to everyone I meet. When im positive those energy vibes become contagious and I can speak with a high energy level. And when I'm relaxed (to me the most important one) its just a great feeling where I'm not so much in my own head. So in essence, whenever your nervous/anxious try performing CPR on yourself, and see if you can bring your yourself back to life again!


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## Rixy

In a music shop I wanted to purchase a straplock. I called it a "stopcap" for some reason and the guy at the counter didn't know what I was on about. I then went on to describe the item I wanted but suddenly all music terminology disappeared from my head. I couldn't even say "guitar". It was kind of funny I guess, but rather worrying. I hate thinking on the spot infront of people


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## UndercoverAlien

i think this is a symptom of ADD as well. I experimented with Adderall (a friend lent me some) and my mind never went blank, in fact, i felt that it helped my anxiety tremendously but not completely. agree with the above comments about social failure from the blank mind.


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## BreakingtheGirl

Every single day


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## swerdna014

I get "blank mind" all the time, especially when people suddenly spring a joke out of thin air or when I'm around women. IT SUCKS.


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## brainfog

This has been the bane of my existence, hence the name "Brainfog". I have had this problem all my life. This always happens to me when I have to talk to someone, whether it be in a social situation or on the phone etc. Even if I have had time to prepare for it, the words always come out wrong and I get all muddled, it is most embarrassing. It is like somewhere between my mind and my mouth the words get all scrambled and new words appear where there shouldn't be any new words.

I also have the problem where I can't think about one thing at a time. There are always thousands of thoughts racing through my head, and picking one out just to concentrate on that one is impossible.

Reading books is also a very slow and tedious process, because I can't concentrate on what I am reading, other thoughts always creep in and I lose my way. I sometimes have to read paragraphs at least 4 or 5 times before it sinks in, and then when someone asks me a few moments later what it was I just read, I can't tell them because I feel like I am being put on the spot and the anxiety kicks in and my brain becomes all muddled again, it is a vicious cycle.


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## Laidiemoon

This is it. This is my plague in life. I feel for you all! 

I'm the worst at telling stories (on the rare occasion I actually remember a story to tell). I go everywhere and lose my train of thought in the middle of sentences and end up sounding looney, telling the ending first and having to backtrack and bringing up side stories. Haha. 

And everything that everyone else said... I've got all that too.


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## gaz

Rixy said:


> In a music shop I wanted to purchase a straplock. I called it a "stopcap" for some reason and the guy at the counter didn't know what I was on about. I then went on to describe the item I wanted but suddenly all music terminology disappeared from my head. I couldn't even say "guitar". It was kind of funny I guess, but rather worrying. I hate thinking on the spot infront of people


Omg i know the feeling! Even though i know the terminology of things to do with my hobbies my mind just goes blank...It makes me feel dumb!


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## Cleary

yep, definitely.


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## PHD in Ebonics

brainfog said:


> \
> Reading books is also a very slow and tedious process, because I can't concentrate on what I am reading, other thoughts always creep in and I lose my way. I sometimes have to read paragraphs at least 4 or 5 times before it sinks in, and then when someone asks me a few moments later what it was I just read, I can't tell them because I feel like I am being put on the spot and the anxiety kicks in and my brain becomes all muddled again, it is a vicious cycle.


Same here! Apart from having "blank mind," which everyone here also seems to have, I have this same concentration problem. It isn't ADD or anything (at least I don't think), because even when there are no distractions like the TV on, or someone talking to me or making noise, I always find that while I read through words and paragraphs, I always start thinking about life and my day...


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## joshrain

Folks, first, this is not a problem. you are very lucky if you have a blank mind, seriously.

Having a blank mind = nirvana. people do all sorts of meditation, pay thousands, to have a blank mind. blank mind means you can see through and through whats happening.

Blank mind = christ consciousness, buddha consciousness, god, love, life. You can call it whatever you want, so please don't condemn it. you folks are one of the luckiest people on planet earth.

I had the same problem and got rid of it. [or it disappeared automatically]

Now, i am blank but not only outside but inside when i am alone. Meet me and you will find out.

So, this is the process i observed when you see someone, your entire eyes are focused on the object (outside) and you go blank. (or i would say lost and not in control)

with meditation, you change the focus on the subject and all the inner chattering is reduced. then the mind is blank even when you are alone and when you meet someone there will be silence and peace radiating (you won't look lost, but in total control). just pure awareness. i can't explain it.

To make things short:

1) don't condemn this
2) move from the object to the subject (observe yourself)

Any questions, please ask.


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## shyvr6

I think I kind of see what you're saying, but I'm not really sure so I'll just say this. People are talking about having a blank mind when trying to think of things to say so they can contribute to a conversation. Having a blank mind is good, but not when you're trying to talk with someone.


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## sunXdancer

*Please help, do i have SA?*

Hullo so i feel i have the same problem as you. Over the past year i have been noticing changes in myself, i used to be very outgoing an able to talk to anyone about anything. Now, i find it almost impossible to come up with anything to say, i'm okay at carrying on a convo as long as i have some background info on the subject. But even then my mind is just utterly blank. i'm not sure if i have SA though, as sometimes i can be really outgoing. for example i go to camp each summer and at camp i made a few new friends and had no problem talking (most of the time). i feel it might be an issue of confidence, as i recently got braces and i weigh more than i'd like to. It's getting worse though as i now can hardly find anything to say to close friends and even my family, could this be a mild case of SA? and should i talk to my parents about it and maybe seek some form of treatment?? ._.


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## fredbloggs02

I know what this is it's called adrenaline, I have this. Fight or flight syndrome where nothing else matters. you should read the book "Zebras don't get ulcers" it was reccomended to me by my psychologist, explains it perfectly. Nothing else is necessary but your witts and your muscles being primed to run away or fight so everything else gets shutdown. It's tough work letting your body think it's being chased by a tiger for a couple of minuites let alone ten. You may have noticed how tired you get after your "mind blank." I've been reccomended beta-blockers countless times but I've yet to try them out. Anyone who has, either give me a hit or tell me how you did with them, cheers.


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## StevenGlansberg

Love the blank mind! Woo blank mind! It makes conversing so fun!


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## anonymid

AcinoreV said:


> Does anybody else here have a "blank mind syndrome" where their mind goes nonstop on various subjects when alone, but when in the presence of a person/people and are required to interact, suddenly your mind goes completely blank?


Yes. Story of my life.


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## bluedragon

this happened to me a couple times when doing introductions in class, we had already been giving a set of things to say, and i forgot something, and ask what it was, but it was early in the morning each time, still, i felts so pathetic. i don't know how to rationalize how it's okay that it happened, it's fu cking pathetic. the only way is to say "well i am still a human"?


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## anon123

sunXdancer said:


> Hullo so i feel i have the same problem as you. Over the past year i have been noticing changes in myself, i used to be very outgoing an able to talk to anyone about anything. Now, i find it almost impossible to come up with anything to say, i'm okay at carrying on a convo as long as i have some background info on the subject. But even then my mind is just utterly blank. i'm not sure if i have SA though, as sometimes i can be really outgoing. for example i go to camp each summer and at camp i made a few new friends and had no problem talking (most of the time). i feel it might be an issue of confidence, as i recently got braces and i weigh more than i'd like to. It's getting worse though as i now can hardly find anything to say to close friends and even my family, could this be a mild case of SA? and should i talk to my parents about it and maybe seek some form of treatment?? ._.


just trigger the adrenaline over and over (take break inbetween)

I did it 10 to 12 time in a short period tell the supply is exhausted
first time you do this do it at night because your muscles will feel like mashed potatoes after

I exhaust the supply every day when working out

might as well put it to good use

trigger by thinking of past events


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## Camber

Has anyone else experienced this without even being in a conversation with another person? I know I have a freight train of ideas running through my head, but if I try to verbalize them, literally talking out loud all by myself, the same fog creeps up and prevents me from forming any kind of coherent argument.

I have lately come to suspect that a major part of the problem is that when I think to myself in my head, forming arguments and scultping ideas, I'm not actually using any words. I _think_ I'm using words, talking to myself in the mind, but in reality, I wonder if I'm taking shortcuts. When visualizing some concept, perhaps the mind is satisfied and moves on as soon as the object is identified, but not necessarily named, per se. (_Ah yes, I see that object all the time. It is a structure used to hold up power line above the roadways and sidewalks. Moving on... _and yet when I try to name the structure, it takes me literally a whole minute to conjure up the word "power pole").

I tested this on the way home from work yesterday. Instead of indulging in that endless stream of consciousness, I decided to name, out loud, each object that happened to draw my attention. This lead to the power pole example above, and many others. I found that even in this low-stress, non-social environment, I simply could not name many common objects and got a frustratingly familiar dose of brain fog. Often, I could feel my mind seething to use an overly elaborate noun-phrase, often using only basic vocabulary (_the thing that holds the steering wheel_), even though I am a well-read engineer, instead of a recalling a simple name _(steering column_)_._

So what do you all think? Is it wrong to assume we are thinking in words if thats how we feel we are thinking? How could we more rigorously test the hypothesis that our minds are capable of tricking us into thinking we are using words in the mind when we are not? Could verbalization exercises in a non-social, low-stress environment improve our ability to turn concepts into language, thereby mitigating at least some contributing factors of the brain fog in real conversations?


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## plastics

If I didn't know any better, I would think I wrote this thread myself. 

My mind goes completely blank. I forget how to count money, I forget how to talk correctly, I forget how to get places, I forget how to drive, I forget how to do EVERYTHING and I forget most of my information when around others. I have to write things down if I'm on the phone with someone, so I say everything. I have to practice conversations in my head, which usually I forget when the time comes. 

EVERY TIME I ever had a presentation, I practiced and practiced..IT NEVER TURNED OUT THE SAME WAY! I always ended up doing awful. 

I forget EVERYTHING when around others. I sound like a fool who can't even say a coherent sentence. 

It's because I'm afraid of messing up, and I end up messing up worse.


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## Nightwing

My mind always goes blank when around other people. When talking one on one with someone, my responses are usually delayed because I have to think of something to say. If I'm in a group, I'll never get a chance to speak at all because conversations are fast paced and I can never think of a response in time.


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## nobodyuknow

I just posted in another thread earlier tonight:
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/brain-freeze-104988/

It is the most frustrating thing ever when it's to the point that you can't think of your own name when someone asks. Anyway, I can relate but I don't have any suggestions on how to overcome it. I both admire and hate people that are able to think on their feet.


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## CDude

*How old am I?*

I forgot how old I was for a moment at a bar when I was asked by the bartender. He was looking at my license when I told him an incorrect age, very embarrassing! Fortunately, he either recognized that I was having some sort of brain freeze or that I was just a complete moron and gave me my drink. (Probably the moron part, as I had asked for a mixed drink and wasn't able to correctly identify a brand of alcohol that was an ingredient)

I think I have slowly gotten better about avoiding brain fog and the accompanying anxiety, but it's still a fairly large obstacle that I face each and every day. I feel for you guys and what you're all experiencing. Simply putting these words down and posting on this forum has noticeably helped me, for a little while at least.

I haven't gone in for any sort of professional diagnosis, has anyone here taken that big step?


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## hannah90

This post could have been written by me, as well. Its kind of comforting to know that doesnt just happen to me. My problem is definately confidence, when I am in a social situation my mind is actually in overdrive, but thinking about the wrong things, like: 
'ahh theyre talking to me, keep calm, oh thats too much eye contact, Im fidgeting too much, I must look like such an idiot'.. etc. (I know people say to keep calm but im concentrating so much on being calm that I forget what to say)
And when they are talking to me my mind is screaming at me SAY SOMETHING! WHAT CAN YOU SAY! And often I end up just smiling or saying 'yeah..' (and then I think oh well done you twit) Or if I have to strike up a convosation i stick to really mundane topics like asking questions about the task in hand. I must come across as soooo boring, which sucks because when Im relaxed and with my friends I'm really bubbly and quite witty. 

It seriously depresses me so much. Even my new uni friends who I have known for a year I still have mind blanks and issues with.. or babble things when I do think of something to say.

Wow this is a long post, clearly outlines that I have a lot to say just have trouble saying it out loud 

Any tricks to help my mind relax?


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## Eevee

hannah90 said:


> This post could have been written by me, as well. Its kind of comforting to know that doesnt just happen to me. My problem is definately confidence, when I am in a social situation my mind is actually in overdrive, but thinking about the wrong things, like:
> 'ahh theyre talking to me, keep calm, oh thats too much eye contact, Im fidgeting too much, I must look like such an idiot'.. etc. (I know people say to keep calm but im concentrating so much on being calm that I forget what to say)
> And when they are talking to me my mind is screaming at me SAY SOMETHING! WHAT CAN YOU SAY! And often I end up just smiling or saying 'yeah..' (and then I think oh well done you twit) Or if I have to strike up a convosation i stick to really mundane topics like asking questions about the task in hand. I must come across as soooo boring, which sucks because when Im relaxed and with my friends I'm really bubbly and quite witty.
> 
> It seriously depresses me so much. Even my new uni friends who I have known for a year I still have mind blanks and issues with.. or babble things when I do think of something to say.
> 
> Wow this is a long post, clearly outlines that I have a lot to say just have trouble saying it out loud
> 
> Any tricks to help my mind relax?


This is me all over. I had an interview last week and I had to sit in the staff cafeteria for a few minutes with another guy my age also waiting. I kept fiddling with my hands under the table and to try and make light of the situation I laughed asking him 'are you nervous?'. He said not really and that everything would be fine. After that I was all focused on my mannerisms and where I was looking etc. At the same time trying to think of things to say but I couldn't. :um What made it worse was that the cafeteria was full of staff on break so it was pretty loud. I must have asked him to repeat himself 20 times and this made me feel really stupid.


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## hannah90

That happens to me too! I feel really stupid asking people to repeat themselves so sometimes i just smile and hope for the best. Im a student teacher atm (I know, crazy for someone like me but I dont get nervous around kids for some reason..) and I have to sit in the staff room and I feel like everyone s staring me and the other students don't like me because I can never think of anything to say.. Have you found anything that helps?

any advice would be greatly appreciated


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## Eevee

Oh man when I first walked into that cafeteria everyone had their eyes on me. I don't even believe I was imagining it. Even the guy I talked with stared at me as I walked over and sat opposite him. My heart raced and that few seconds lasted forever.

I don't have much advise I'm afraid. My mum (who also suffers with it) just says to keep thinking in the present. Stop yourself when you look back on something bad that just happened. You can't change it so concentrate on the present. Obviously thats easier said than done.

I do the same with smiling! If I've asked someone to repeat themselves once and I still didn't hear it, I just smile or say 'yeah' and hope for the best they weren't asking something like 'where do you live?'. :afr


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## hannah90

That's good advice, I'll try it as I do over analyse things in the past. Sometimes I write a few things down that I could say to people, convosation starters I guess. That can help a little. Often the convosation doesn't go that way but its comforting knowing you are prepared!


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## fixmein45

Imagine yourself in the situation and then try to work through it.


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## voitzify

This is what has basically ****ing ruined my life


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## gphm44

okay, so i just started googling this for the first time and i am freaking out. will it ever go away? It started about 4 years ago. Always have had it to a slight degree but now more than ever! Is there no cure? I feel like a robot. There has got to be a cure. I know I am not stupid. I have made friends and boyfriends in the past. Not sure what happened to me but I dont have a chance in H of making either at this point. Gotta be a cure!


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## youreWorthit

Yes, and you should be proud to have figured it out, be able to identify exactly what it is that happens to you and when. I think that maybe it could have something to do with knowing that different things are like "okay" to talk about ( as trained civilians, etc. . So I would try just making sure that I knew that It is Okay. Everything will go just as it should. It's good to have notes too because if you're like me, you tend to forget a lot (maybe not?) anyway but you can just let it flow, and be okay with it ( like in a spiritual sense almost) Let it all just be


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## mezzoforte

Yeah, it makes me feel retarded.


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## Maninthebox84

My problem is this: I think of something to say, and before I start to say it I am already thinking of the next thing to say. Of course I'm nervous as ****, and when I start talking, I mix up my first and second thoughts and something ridiculous comes out. ****ing embarrassing.


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## enzo

Yes. 

People probably think I'm deep, mysterious, or shy. Little do they know I simply have nothing to say.


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## the alley cat

My mind goes blank when I'm around people too, even with my family sometimes. Actually, I don't think it goes blank, I think the focus is turned toward being self-conscious, instead of being conscious on the present situation. It's frustrating when I come out of these situations and I look back and see how badly I wasn't able to focus. 
In these situations I get really clumsy doing things, I make lots of mistakes and I forget so much stuff. It's also frustrating when people say I can't remember or do the simplest of things. If only I didn't get a blank mind, or rather be excessively self-conscious, I could do these things so easily. It's the thing that's holding me back.


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## afunguy24

Hi,

Hope all is well. I can't live my life because of this crap, I cant be a strong man, cant get a girlfriend so I cant have kids, so I just sit at home and think but I do occasionally go out to social events. 

It seems like we are quite lonely, depressed and not living, but dying. I need a wise and loving friend in my life. Can anyone please help me?


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## Charleyy

This is one of my main problems. I even go as far as to plan what I'm going to say in coversations before I've even got to the person just to avoid awkward silences.


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## j a m

At op, original question:
Yes. I call it 'checking out.' When being in a social situation is too stressful or painful, most of my mind goes somewhere else whether I want to or not. Then I act all stupid. Mindfulness exercises and exposure (f*cking art school, y'all) are helping slowly.

At afunguy24,
Enduring SA takes strength and endurance. We are all strong to live this way, so you _are_ a strong man. It takes strength too, to find a way around the social anxiety to a happier life. I've come to really believe that we are all good/alright people. We just have faceted self esteem, some facets reflecting negatively which gets us down as we are generally a sensitive lot of people. We fear situations from experience and don't trust ourselves to act right. But this is just our perception of ourselves and how we believe people around us perceive things. Your 'lens' that you view the world through can change... there are a million ways of seeing a thing and none are wrong. One has to really face the fear, directly engage it to change. We really do the best we can with what we have at the time, though our inventory changes all the time.

Have you ever given therapy a try? Honestly, I would be dead if I had not. I can talk to my therapist about things I can't discuss with anyone else, and she helps me put it all in a better perspective. Resurfacing that 'lens,' so to speak.


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## Ksen

*Blankmind solution*

Hi! I just had blackmind today - after a 15 year break at least. And may be i know the reason.

I started to have blank minds at the age of 14 when coming to recite poems in front of class.. i had done it before with no problem. But at a certain moment i started fearing public performances. Most probably due to some stressful and restless time. Then, after i finished school at the age of 16 blackmind disappeared. But i hardly ever had to recite poems in front of public by the memory. And if there was some public speach - i always was prepared and had presentation or anchors to hold to or to get memory from.

And today, after 15 years i got a blackmind again: at a course.. We were doing some interactive drill of dialogues at an interview for employment.

I was very active in asking smart questions when at free will. And i was ready to answer any questions for each person around me.. like "a cork to each bottle" as we say in my country. And then my turn came.. i was asked a trivial question i had answered million times. But at the moment it came i suddenly lost myself, and had a blank mind for at least a minute.. it was too visible. I was really stressed. And!!!! then when i got out of the stress and started being active again, there where there was no my responsibility, then when the responsibility came back to me at another simple question - i again had a blank-mind fall out.

Later i remembered that i only slept 4 hours thight or less. I have a suspicion that the first rule against anxiety is: to have a profound long sleep, enough of fresh air.. !!!!This is first! Because all these concentration problems and stress and anxiety are easier coped with when the energy is there.
Second, i have a feeling, may be a breathing meditation (some basic pranayama exercise) and straight position must help. It helps me in the anxiety situations when i am waiting for my turn to speak in a group of people. Good luck to all of you.


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## Ksen

4 hours tonight (sorry little error in my previous message)


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## balsamella

I'm not so sure I had problems with a completely blank mind, but I would often have to grasp for words and would also completely forget what I was talking about in the middle of sentences. After I changed my diet to healthier foods, started exercising and worked on myself, my mental state has changed considerably -- it doesn't happen that often anymore. Just like anyone else, I still forget sometimes, but it's what I would consider to be at a normal level. The more clogged the brain is with negative thoughts, the more difficult it is to think clearly. If you are in a therapy session or someone close that knows about your situation, what about writing down some of your ideas ahead of time for the time being?


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## capehope3

I too have had this awful experience. Most of my job is relating to customers through phone or walk-in. I get so embarrassed of myself that I just want to dig myself a hole and crawl in it. I stutter on the phone and forget our regular customer's names. Sometimes when a customer walks in, I actually have to force myself to say "Hello, how can I help you?" otherwise I look like a "mindless zombie" just staring at the customer. When I do collection calls, I have to rehearse or jot down a script. And it seems like everything goes fast, like I can't get what I have to say out fast enough before someone else answers the customer's question or helps the customer. I have been at my job 3 years and still amazed that I am still there. I keep wondering when my boss is going to call me into his office and tell me how inarticulate I am. I have really enjoyed reading the stories from this forum because I know that I am not alone. :yes


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## snuggles77

Yeah all these really help thanks 
I found something that really helps me with this. Try telling people random made up funny stupid stories (not to decieve but jokingly) this helps me with confidence and speeds the brain up when trying to recall information. Also exercise, good food, forcing yourself to talk to strangers and reading help.

I'm getting better with it, but I don't think I'll ever be fully "cured", I say cured because I think everyone has this to an extent. Some people just don't dwell on it though, they say " oh I've lost my train of thought" and move on. I think I just tend to worry about it happening more than most.

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/does-anybody-else-do-this-377305/


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## snuggles77

Just looking at how many people have read this thread shows how common this is .... nearly 30k so far....... amazing.


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## cybernaut

For me, this hasnt been something I just attained over the long yrars of SA. This is something that Ive always had since grade school. Over the years, I now feel trapped in my own head, swimming in emptiness.Ive gotten emotionally and physically numb when being around people too. Like right now, I am sitting alone in my college cafeteria right now and I have no feelings or thoughts about it. Its a full cafeteria today too. 

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## cybernaut

I also wanted to add that I have literally no thought process because of this.. The only times I have "thoughts" running through my head is when I am in a state of panic/anxiety and (sometimes) when I am alone. Blank mind has definitely always been there when I am around people. 

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## capehope3

wootmehver said:


> I jot down topics I want to discuss with people on the phone before calling sometimes so there will be no pregnant pauses. I also make notes of topics to discuss with people face-to-face as well. If something interesting happened to me and I think "x" number of people would like to hear it I will give the anecdote a title and list the names of people who might want to hear it and cross off their names after I tell them. That way I won't forget and tell the same story twice to someone. BTW, a friend caught me glancing at my "convo notes" in his presence once. Funny.


I like your story. It's amazing how you prepare to have conversations with people. And crossing their names off so you don't tell the same story twice.:lol I actually had people tell me the same story twice, but I still act as though it were the first time I heard it if I really like the person. Or if I don't really like them, I will tell them "I know."  I have always been kinda shy, but I never thought of taking notes on what I would like to say to people. I probley should have, because I have run into those moments where I couldn't think of anything to say to the other person and you stare into the air.:blank


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## Monotony

It's extremely frustrating. Go into a store knowing exactly what I'm there to buy.

"Can we help you find anything?"

No

:doh


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## Sempron

Ive had SA since i was about 17..now 25 and this has been a real issue for me too,mind just goes blank...i also find it VERY hard to make decisions.


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## kimy9185

I'm totally the same, even when I'm reading something my mind goes completely blank. If people talk to me I probably give them a very blank look. The people at work must think I am very stupid because I am forever giving them those looks and forgetting my work. What should I do??


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## LemonBones

I used to have this until Ashwaghanda, Coconut oil and high quality cod liver oil cleared this up for me. Still no one to talk to anyway.


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## BAH

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