# Is this healthy for a teenage boy?



## Watercoulour (Jul 24, 2011)

So i know a friend... well hes my boyfriend. Nothing too serious but i care for him.
Anyways his home life isnt the greatest. His parents divorced when he was 9 so he comes from a broken family. His mother is a dental hygenist (dental assistant) and barely pulls in enough money to pay the bills. So she met Andrew, whom shes now engaged to.

So ever since Andrew came in, he feels as though hes in a boot camp. Andrew doesnt pull in a lot of money either (he sells lightbulbs...) so theyre always very tight with cash. Hes a health freak and only buy "healthy" food which obviously is a lot more expensive than normal, slightly bad food. Anyways besides from that, hes not allowed to each much, even when hes hungry. Hes always hungry but they dont have enough food for him to eat And they dont have enough funds to get more food, so his parents always scold him saying "look how much youre making me pay".

Hes 6'2 and 150 pounds. which is incredibly underwight. hes super skinny and does track/cross country. so he burns a lotta calories. His parents also believe that medicine is actually poison so when hes sick hes not allowed to have anything except whats in his garden.

Also his stepdad yells at him 24/7 for every little thing. he has chores, which is normal, except when he does them his stepdad says he didnt do them then yells at him and grounds him. he always says hes doing everything wrong and that he eats everything so hes a burden on them financially. he has an older sister and shes run away because of him. when he yells at him he yells as loud as possible and jabs him with his finger.

Im not sure if this is entirely healthy or legal. Its mentally damaging, since hes been taught not to speak up, so he has no confidence and NEVER stands up for himself. not when someone else is picking on him either. also he says hes ugly, and boring, and no one loves him, it breaks my heart.

Physically, because hes not getting enough food to each (which is why hes so damn skinny for his height) and because he doesnt get the meds he needs. im not sure if thats legal. my parents want to call child services but im not sure if that enough for them to call and i dont want to upset his family over this either.

What do you guys think? im sorry this is so long, i had a lot on my mind >.<


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

That sounds unhealthy for him all the way around. I don't know if child services would be able to do anything. It's all about what would hold up in court. You could try that route, see what happens...

Would your parents be willing to take him in?



Watercoulour said:


> my parents want to call child services but im not sure if that enough for them to call and *i dont want to upsset his family over this either.*


Sounds like his family isn't really caring for him properly? I wouldn't worry too much about 'upsetting' them. Focus on what's best for your friend.


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## Watercoulour (Jul 24, 2011)

My mother would have no problem, but i dont think he would. Weve had a lot of arguements about it. He says hes fine, he can deal with it, just a few more years and hell be out to college. But just looking at him, you can tell hes upset.

So even if we did do anything, id doubt anyone would speak up, making it even harder to do anything about it @[email protected]


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## Hiccups (Jul 15, 2011)

You can ring child services and ask their advice see if you have a case, no harm in doing that much. It is a shame he can't get away and fend for himself which such a mess, to be in a space that is healthy for him is not good at all. I mean it could get worse over a few years so maybe some alternatives might be better? What are the possibilities of going on benefits or working part time and moving into a share house?


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## Marakunda (Jun 7, 2011)

Let's not say it's "healthy" but it is normal, I'd say.... This guy actually sounds a lot like me, my parents split up when I was 5, and I've seen them fight/yell at each other a lot. And I think I turned out alright...

As for the food thing, I'm pretty sure 150 lbs isn't underweight, you are 15 aren't you? So I'm assuming he's the same age, and for a 15 year old, 6"2 150 lbs is actually pretty normal (and tall, lol).... I'm 16 and I'm like 5"9 155 lbs, or something like that.

imo, nothing you should be worried about.


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## WhoAmIToday (Jul 29, 2011)

This sounds like serious mental abuse to me, regardless of his physical health. Although I'd be surprised if that his physical heath didn't deteriorate in such circumstances. I'd take action and call child services to see what could be done. I wouldn't leave him in that situation for 3 years.

It's great that he has a friend like you.


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## Colton (Jun 27, 2011)

I'm 6'2 and 135 pounds, so he could be skinnier!


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## Invalid Username (May 25, 2011)

That isn't healthy at all. I don't really know how I would help, but maybe you could help him, if he isn't getting enough food, could you get any for him? It sounds like there is some domestic abuse there too, if child services get involved, the main issue would be about how his family would react to it, and particularly how they would treat him after they stop intervening. If his mum's boyfriend is abusing him, you should call child services though.


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## Resonance (Feb 11, 2010)

Watercoulour said:


> .
> 
> *Hes 6'2 and 150 pounds.* which is incredibly underwight


I'm 6'3 and weigh less than that, it's not "incredibly underweight"


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## Ventura (May 5, 2009)

You could call child services, they won't give names.... they can't..


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## 5hane (Aug 22, 2011)

I would say that he weight is fine. I run a lot and to thin is OK, better than being overweight, health wise. As for the shouting if that is all it is, that's OK too. What's wrong with discipline? If he is getting hit, then yea do something about it. else keep your nose out and respect what he says... "I'm fine". You could do a lot more damage than you ever know by phoning social services.


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

6'2" and 150 is underweight. 

His family sounds a lot like my own, and my husband was living there for a bit because he had lupus and my aunt convinced his parents that she could cure it with her herbs and such. My husband went from 300 to 150 (he's 6' even) and had bones jutting out all over the place. He passed out from the diet (raw food vegan diet of 1,000 calories a day, they made him run 8 miles a day) and when he hit 150 they still said he was overweight. They were verbally and emotionally abusive toward him. My husband lived there for three years and as a result now has PTSD and has gained 80 of those pounds back. He needs to lose about 30-50 of them. This is not a healthy situation for your boyfriend. I would try ANYTHING to get him out!

The only reason it took me so long to get my husband out of that situation was because I wasn't allowed to live anywhere near him. :/ Long story.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

6'2" @ 150lbs = 19.3 BMI

BMI Categories:
Underweight = <18.5
Normal weight = 18.5–24.9
Overweight = 25–29.9
Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater

Seems like hes good to go weight wise. As for mental/emotional health wise, he needs to have a healthier environment to grow up in. I assume he is under the age of 18, so in that case I would call the Child Protection Services(CPS) or Department of Children & Family Services(DCFS) to report the abuse and neglect. Yelling is verbal child abuse and is ALSO punishable by law. "Jabbing a finger" is a physical abuse, an action perpetrated by someone(this Andrew person in this case) with intent to cause bodily harm, is ALSO a crime punishable by law.

You need to contact CPS/DCFS immediately and put an end to this needless suffering as well as make his mother/boyfriend be accountable for their actions in a court of law. Don't put this off another day.

Failing to properly provide for essential necessities such as food, clothing, and shelter is considered neglect and is punishable by law. Failing to adequately seek proper medical care by a medical health professional for your child is ALSO neglect and punishable by law.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I was incredibly skinny when I was young, and I ate like a pig. That's why I'm fat now.

Point being, it's not always because of child abuse that someone is that skinny.


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## Watercoulour (Jul 24, 2011)

New story:

their parents left home for 4 days to go to florida. they left them little food, ave a gallon of milk and some juice. the food was some tortillas and a bit of meat. their parents also left 20 bucks if they ran out of food. hes also living with his sister, so theres 2 to feed.

my mother left them 100 bucks because of this. they got back and started yelling t them for spending the original 20 bucks when there was food left over. there was a bottle of pickles and some cream cheese. (the 100 bucks was a secret).


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