# Toronto Support Group



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

Hey to all the Toronto people out there, are you interested in joining a social anxiety support group? If so please consider joining me at The Mood Disorder Clinic 36 Eglinton Ave West just across from the Yonge Eglinton Subway station, it's on the 6th floor, Saturday 4pm-6pm, next week the group will be going to The Duke of Kent Pub. 

You are not obligated should you decide to come to join us there. You are not obligated to go every Saturday, when ever you can afford to. You will meet many of the same people who meet here but in real life. There is even a Toastmasters event, if you can please bring snacks along for the group.

Details

36 Eglinton Ave West, just one stop outside of the Yonge and Eglinton Subway. To get into the building should you chose to come, please push the handicap button on the left side of the door (the button you push at shopping malls to open the automated doors for wheel chairs) and come up to the 6th floor, Mood Disorder, Activity room 1. After we will be going to 2135 Yonge Street to The Duke of Kent Pub. 

message me if you'd like to go.


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

Good question PiscesVixen- This is for everyone as well. You sit in a room with people of various ages who just like here all have Social Anxiety or some other forms of Anxiety issues. The Group has two hosts, the group starts out with a 10-15 minute mediation period, where the lights go off and the group host takes you through the exercises. 

Next you might be asked to introduce yourself, you'll break the ice early on by introducing yourself to the assistant host, you give your name and say how anxious you feel, you can get support from the group like you would here, you can chose to talk about yourself to the group or you can pass there is never any pressure to talk. 

It's a very calming environment, you'll meet people like here who you can feel comfortable with, it's much easier to learn conversational skills working on them with another person who understands SA than being afraid of going out and talking to someone else, you get opportunities to strike up convo's with people in your group. 

Last week for example, we split up into groups and talked about our new years resolutions and you get to interact and discuss with your group your goals etc; Optional. You can chose to become more socially engaged with the group if you wish by coming to The Bagel shop, if you don't want to go there is never any pressure to. 

Next week is also optional, you don't even have to buy food if you come, you can stay for the social interaction. Hey I will personally vouch for you. Let me know if your interest in meeting me there next Saturday. I'll wait for you outside of the building, I'm Chad. If you don't want to come and feel uncomfortable it's cool.

Funny thing is there will always be new people, everyone is the random new person, the group changes from time to time, you can still make friends but you should try and come out more frequently if you can and join the group in a more social setting like The Bagel shop that's the only way really to connect, also don't hesitate to talk to them, everyone there is shy like you and is looking for someone to talk to. 

A Few Ice Breaker examples.

How you doing? you said something that really connected with me, myself for example, I broke the ice with one of the members there by mentioning that I can relate to that feeling of sudden anxiety that comes out of nowhere, a good way to really break the ice is to remark as the new person Hey where does the group usually end up going? 

I know Ice breakers can be scary. What helps is just listening early on in the group, listen and try and note things that you can relate to or that you find of interest and ask them about it. Ex. Hey you mentioned that you always felt like an outsider cause you were never good at sports, Do you feel like you have to force yourself? there's someone there who you can say hey you have a son I have a son he's also two examples like that.


----------



## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

PiscesVixen said:


> May I ask what is a meeting like? I've always thought of going but kind of scared of being the random "new" person who decides to join...


same here

i would go, but i just wonder i am gonna be the new person there, or its like all strange


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Being more social and putting in more of an effort to make new friends is one of the New Years' Resolutions that I had this year so maybe I should go. The problem is that travelling to downtown Toronto is not that convenient of a commute for me. I live in the suburbs (Mississauga). The problem is that all the social anxiety support and meet groups are downtown. And it seems like all the other meetup groups that aren't SA-related (from meetup.com) that I want to join are based downtown..

I know that going from where I live to Union Station takes about 1 hour 20 minutes by Mississauga Transit plus GO Bus. To go to this place, it would take about 1 hour 40 minutes using Mississauga and TTC transit by Google Maps' estimation. Maybe I could wait until I get a car to go to these meetings (I have been procrastinating on that too. I have anxiety behind the wheel so I've kinda put off buying a car for a number of years after getting my license. I passed my full G license test. But sometimes I get panicky when drivers drive like idiots or if there's lots of traffic). By Google Maps' estimation, driving would take me about 34 minutes. But after taking into account traffic, 34 minutes is probably an optimistic estimate... I haven't drove to downtown Toronto. But those rides downtown certainly seemed longer than 34 minutes while I was in the passenger seat... 

A lot of people in Mississauga take the TTC subway/bus or Go Bus or whatever to go to work on a daily basis since driving in Toronto is insanity during peak hours (and lots of people go have fun in downtown Toronto on the weekends. Though I rarely go there myself. I haven't been downtown since late October). So maybe a 1 hour 40 minute commute isn't a big deal? I don't know. I've no problem with keeping myself occupied with my phone during that time. But yeah 1 hour 40 minutes each way sounds like quite awhile.

I don't know how such a large city (Mississauga) can basically feel like the middle of nowhere a lot of the time but somehow we manage to accomplish that. There are 700,000+ people from Mississauga. Surely there's plenty of people there who suffer from SA... I've talked to 2 other people here from Mississauga. And I think there's one more.


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

PiscesVixen said:


> ...Yeah, I live in the suburbs too, but I'm lucky cause there's a GO bus stop right in front of my place that takes me down to Union station in about 35 minutes.
> 
> I agree 1 hour 40 minutes can be considered a long commute. If I decided not to take the GO Bus and commute by "regular" bus + subway, it would be 1 hr 30 minutes for me. I would take 2 buses and then hop on the subway at Islington.
> 
> ...


Which suburb are you at? Mississauga? Brampton? It takes me 40 minutes from the Square One Go Bus stop to Union Station. But it depends on the traffic. Google Maps gave me a 50 minute estimate on a weekday at 4:50 pm (bad traffic during this time). But in reality I think it was more like 65-70 mins when I went. I was definitely late.

If I were to go to this meet, I'd have to take a Mississauga Eglinton bus and a TTC Eglinton bus. These buses have a lot of stops (apparently it's 50 stops on the TTC bus until I reach my destination. Naturally the bus driver doesn't stop at every single one. You have to request the stop. But still) and it's all down Eglinton, no highway driving. Factor in walking and waiting and yeah, 1 hour 40 minutes each way.

If I were to drive there taking the 401, maybe it wouldn't take too long on Saturday afternoons. I don't know. Driving in Toronto is very stressful. A lot of Torontonians don't even bother with owning a car.

I briefly flirted with the idea recently of starting up a Mississauga Social Anxiety group on meetup.com (not sure how much demand there would be for that). I think it costs like $12/month in organizer fees to do so. And then have meets at restaurants, movie theatres, Square One, Playdium, Living Arts Centre (I believe they have theatrical plays there. I saw a play many years back. I think it was there), bars, maybe even a night club for the more daring... lol (surprisingly, Mississauga has a number of night clubs. Never been to a night club though). There are lots of things that I would like to do socially but I've been rather socially isolated since finishing with school and working in an office with a bunch of older people.


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

PiscesVixen said:


> Thanks for the response, it was very detailed and informative . I'm an "observer", so I usually observe situations before feeling comfortable at the thought of easing myself into them :b.
> 
> I just have two more questions - How many people on average would you say attend a meeting? When you say next week, do you mean Sat, Jan 21st? Or did you mean this upcoming Saturday the 14th? (Sorry if it's a stupid question, but just want to clarify :b)


To answer your next question, Hey it's not a stupid question, it's good that your asking, it shows your interest, the group meets every Saturday unless otherwise noted at 4-pm on the 6th floor, to make more personal relationships with the members it is recommended but not enforced that if you are able to, because you live so far away you can chose to skip this aspect but some members chose to go to the bagel shop. Some members may attend frequently others may attend when ever they can afford to come out.


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

If you want to become a member of the group and join us, please sign up here so that the group can keep an even count of members. http://www.meetup.com/toronto-shyness-social-phobia/?a=mm2_l6 You don't need facebook, just click join the group, register with your name, email and a password, you should RSVP Yes or No, I have vouched for anyone here wishing to attend but it is recommended that you sign up.


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

This is for anyone who feels uncomfortable because their worried they will be the new person, yes you will be the new person but so will a lot of other members, you'll be amongest other new people and as you continue along you'll continue to see new people.

You'll always be new when you first join something, You were new here once, there are plenty of new people all the time, you'll feel comfortable as time goes on, it's normal to feel nervous that happens, older more frequent members are always happy to help you along.

The Next meet up is this Saturday Jan 14th at 4pm, 36 Eglinton Ave West you will see the number 36's on the building, the easiest way to find it is to google map it and the location that you are in. SAS members interested, I will meet you outside the doors.

http://maps.google.ca/maps?hl=en&q=...code_result&ct=title&resnum=1&ved=0CBwQ8gEwAA

See the glass building with the subway and the 36? that's the building I will meet you outside of there.


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

I'll be joining you guys. I volunteer Saturday mornings/early afternoons, which is in conflict with the 4pm start time because I have a lengthy commute (I normally get home around 2:30 pm). But I freed up my early afternoon and I'm starting a couple hours earlier in the morning (not a big deal. I have to wake up just as early for my paid job). So if I get home around 12:30 pm, I should have more than enough cushion time.

The commute to the Mood Disorder clinic from my home in Mississauga is pretty time consuming (1 hour 40 mins to get there. Depending on my luck, it might take me less time to get back home). But this is something that only happens on Saturdays and I'm not obligated to go every Saturday if I don't want to. So might as well try. My sister said that she'd take about that long to get to work every single work day on a full-time schedule when she worked in North York. Typically a Mississauga to Toronto work commute isn't that long I don't think but yeah this isn't an everyday thing anyway. My phone will keep me company on the bus rides. Won't be too bad.


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

phoenixwright said:


> I'll be joining you guys. I volunteer Saturday mornings/early afternoons, which is in conflict with the 4pm start time because I have a lengthy commute (I normally get home around 2:30 pm). But I freed up my early afternoon and I'm starting a couple hours earlier in the morning (not a big deal. I have to wake up just as early for my paid job). So if I get home around 12:30 pm, I should have more than enough cushion time.
> 
> The commute to the Mood Disorder clinic from my home in Mississauga is pretty time consuming (1 hour 40 mins to get there. Depending on my luck, it might take me less time to get back home). But this is something that only happens on Saturdays and I'm not obligated to go every Saturday if I don't want to. So might as well try. My sister said that she'd take about that long to get to work every single work day on a full-time schedule when she worked in North York. Typically a Mississauga to Toronto work commute isn't that long I don't think but yeah this isn't an everyday thing anyway. My phone will keep me company on the bus rides. Won't be too bad.


Hey listen it's so out of the way for you and with your volunteer job I don't want you to be put on the spot to come if you can't afford to, please don't force yourself if the traveling is time consuming, considering everything else I mean if you feel comfortable enough please do but as long as you can manage it time wise. No you can come any Saturday you want to, you'll get email notices letting you know when you sign up of our Saturday meet up and if we go anywhere else, like next week we are going to the Duke of Kent Pub.

We will be going here next week, again you are not obligated to attend and if you do you can stay for as long as you'd like.http://maps.google.ca/maps?hl=en&q=...sb&biw=1280&bih=923&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wl


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

For anyone interested in coming, should you arrive before me, don't be nervous if you try to open the doors and they are locked, the place is closed on a Saturday except for us, so it will be just us in the building. To get in remember to please push the handicap button on the left hand side, it's the single door on your left. 

There's no one in the building except for us so don't be alarmed if you don't hear or see anyone but the Janitor. Just take the elevator up to the 6th floor if your really early go ahead to subway or take a walk to Burger King, Mcdonalds, the Pickle Barrel, You can follow the path on the map.


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Ironpain said:


> Hey listen it's so out of the way for you and with your volunteer job I don't want you to be put on the spot to come if you can't afford to, please don't force yourself if the traveling is time consuming, considering everything else I mean if you feel comfortable enough please do but as long as you can manage it time wise. No you can come any Saturday you want to, you'll get email notices letting you know when you sign up of our Saturday meet up and if we go anywhere else, like next week we are going to the Duke of Kent Pub.
> 
> We will be going here next week, again you are not obligated to attend and if you do you can stay for as long as you'd like.http://maps.google.ca/maps?hl=en&q=...sb&biw=1280&bih=923&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wl


Yeah it is quite the trip (keeping preoccupied during the bus rides will help though). But yeah it kinda goes with the territory if you live in one of the suburbs. Travelling to Union Station by Mississauga Transit + Go Bus would take me 1 hour 8 minutes on a Saturday afternoon. I used to live near College Street in the 2nd-4th grade with my grandparents and my grandparents' old house takes about 1 hour 20 minutes from my house in Mississauga. But yeah 1 hour 40 mins is kinda on the lengthier end of the spectrum.

It would be nice if there was a Mississauga SA meetup group. Mississauga has like 700,000+ people but it's still very much a suburban bedroom community wasteland in many ways. Even when I look towards other interests/hobbies like gaming, anime, manga, etc., there's like nothing in Mississauga. These meetups are happening in Toronto.


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

With the exception of one other member joining us, nobody else knows what I look like. I'll be the guy wearing the George town Jacket (It has a Bulldog on the back with a cap, it's blue and white and blue jeans, that way your not and in any case I'll repeat my name in the group so you'll know it's me. When you see me just let me that your from here. 

Anymore people interested? if not, I'll meet the people who want to go.


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

PiscesVixen said:


> Hey guys, I have to work this Saturday and don't get off until 7 PM . I'll try to make it to the next Saturday meeting though.
> 
> Thanks for all the information, Chad. I used to date a guy who lived in the Yonge and Eglinton neighborhood, so I actually know the area quite well . We used to walk by the Duke of Kent pub all the time.
> 
> ...


Hey I'm really sorry you can't come out that's too bad but yes please come out next week than okay. I understand it's okay. Don't feel bad about it k.


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

I noticed that this place is just one subway plus 4 minutes walking away from Union Station. I could walk to Square One to get my daily exercise (It's 3.6km away from my home. I typically walk 3km+ every day on my lunch break at work anyway and I go jogging in the evening for like 30 minutes) and then take the GO Bus straight to Union and then the Subway. Though I have never went on a subway alone before and it's been at least a year, probably years since I've been on the subway. So yeah for this first time I might as well just take the buses down Eglinton since it's straightforward. The last time I was at Union Station back in late October, I was intimidated by how huge it is. lol.


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

phoenixwright said:


> I noticed that this place is just one subway plus 4 minutes walking away from Union Station. I could walk to Square One to get my daily exercise (It's 3.6km away from my home. I typically walk 3km+ every day on my lunch break at work anyway and I go jogging in the evening for like 30 minutes) and then take the GO Bus straight to Union and then the Subway. Though I have never went on a subway alone before and it's been at least a year, probably years since I've been on the subway. So yeah for this first time I might as well just take the buses down Eglinton since it's straightforward. The last time I was at Union Station back in late October, I was intimidated by how huge it is. lol.


It's on Yonge and Eglinton (Duplex Ave) after will be walking up to The Duke of Kent Pub if your interested in going but I know you might have to head home so if you can't stay it's cool.


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

I ended up going the eglinton bus route. I'm on the ttc bus right now. Wasnt so bad. I have my phone to keep me company.

EDIT 11:18 PM: At Square One and on my way home now. Home sweet home. lol. Downtown Toronto kinda intimidates me but I'm getting the hang of it. I had fun.


----------



## littleturtle (Jan 14, 2011)

how much is this? what exactly goes on here? right now i just want to do anything that would help me progress and get better with this anxiety... i'd be kinda scared tho, being the new guy and all. for those who attend, how bad is their anxiety?


----------



## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

That ice breaker stuff sounds terrifying! Are those who attend those affiliated with just social anxiety? I could probably benefit from meeting agoraphobic folks but don't know if such meetings exist. As in, if I were to say, "Um, so I just got on a bus and got here therefore I am AWESOME." people might understand it.


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

seafolly said:


> That ice breaker stuff sounds terrifying! Are those who attend those affiliated with just social anxiety? I could probably benefit from meeting agoraphobic folks but don't know if such meetings exist. As in, if I were to say, "Um, so I just got on a bus and got here therefore I am AWESOME." people might understand it.


There was at least one agoraphobic in our group. I know that much. As for the ice breaker stuff, you can "pass". You don't have to say anything.


----------



## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

phoenixwright said:


> There was at least one agoraphobic in our group. I know that much. As for the ice breaker stuff, you can "pass". You don't have to say anything.


Well that's promising! I may have to be a chicken and wait to see what feedback you guys have for the meetings you attend.  Ice breakers are in the realm of "too frightening to comprehend." If I could just walk in and announce myself/information that'd be okay, it's the anticipation of waiting for my turn that would likely cause me to bolt.


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

seafolly said:


> That ice breaker stuff sounds terrifying! Are those who attend those affiliated with just social anxiety? I could probably benefit from meeting agoraphobic folks but don't know if such meetings exist. As in, if I were to say, "Um, so I just got on a bus and got here therefore I am AWESOME." people might understand it.


No sweat, you don't have to do any ice breaker stuff, I was giving some advice on conversation starters you might want to use but do it when you feel confident in yourself, here for example is my ice breaker. Like Chris said there is an Agoraphobic.

He's also Schizophrenic as well, I didn't get to actually talk to him but we could all tell how difficult it was for him just being there it was really uncomfortable for him. Nah you don't have to talk if you don't want to, your never forced to talk if you don't feel comfortable.

Chris pretty much beat me to the punch on this one.


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

littleturtle said:


> how much is this? what exactly goes on here? right now i just want to do anything that would help me progress and get better with this anxiety... i'd be kinda scared tho, being the new guy and all. for those who attend, how bad is their anxiety?


Hey to help you out I've included everything that goes on in the group on the first page of this thread. You'll get all the details about where it's located and if you want to join register at the link I have provided.

The Group meets every Saturday from 4pm-6pm on the 6th floor of the Mood Disorder Clinic at 36 Eglinton Ave West. I've provided all the details at the beginning, the group is free, all you have to do is sign up and come on out next Saturday and there you go and your not obligated to come every Saturday you come when you want to come.

Last Saturday we went to a place called the Duke of Kent Pub but we went with the people in our group and no one is ever forced to come out but the only way your going to accomplish anything is by making that first step and that means joining your group mates at the Bagel shop for example, you don't have to but there are going to be plenty of people just like you who are quite and reserved.

I'll say this again so that it everyone who feels this way understands that every meet up there's a new person, last week, Chris and Kelly from this site were new members, there was this lady Daphne, there was another guy who was new, every Saturday of the group there's a new person, there are a few regulars but they don't come every Saturday maybe once a month.

Hey don't worry about being new it's not like school where a group of your classmates have been together for a while or knew each other from before and you walk in the new guy nah it's nothing like that. In this case, you'll be new and than another new person will show up and another new person and your always made to feel welcome, in fact if you come I'm Chad I'll look out for you alright.

Everybody who comes there for the first time is new and than the more you come the more you'll notice that now hey there's a new person and another new person, don't feel bad about being the new person, you'll slowly start to feel your way and no one is going to judge you.


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

seafolly said:


> Well that's promising! I may have to be a chicken and wait to see what feedback you guys have for the meetings you attend.  Ice breakers are in the realm of "too frightening to comprehend." If I could just walk in and announce myself/information that'd be okay, it's the anticipation of waiting for my turn that would likely cause me to bolt.


Your fears are understandable, I want you to completely erase those perceptions I'm going to explain the group to you so that your comfortable. You are never forced to come if you don't want to but the more you come the more you will get to know who's who.

Your going to be the new person but so is Jane and Tim and Molly, those aren't actual group members but they could be you never know who could come, you'll get to know the regulars as time goes on but not everyone shows up every Saturday, one week you might come and notice a certain group of people, next week you might only recognize a few faces and see some new ones.

Rama and Rebbeca are the facilitators of the group, they along with us the regular people will help you along, we start with meditation, deep stomache breathing exercises to cleanise the mind and relax the body, you don't have to do this if it scares you but nobody's watching or judging you, just close your eyes and work on breathing from your stomache, this takes anymore from 5-15 minutes.

Now you will be asked to tell what your anxiety level is from a scale of 1-100 he will never make you answer but for example yours could be 98 and someone else's could be 45 and another person might only be a 10 after that's done he'll select someone and again you never have to speak.

He'll ask you how your feeling, do you want to talk about yourself? is there anything on your mind you want to discuss? if you want to discuss yourself go ahead if not you can pass, you don't even have to speak if you come out again you chose when you want to introduce yourself or interject something into the convo.

You might have something on your mind or someone will mention something while their talking that Rama may use for example work place issues, someone might talk about their work place issues and one of the group members can ask questions it could be about anything. For example one of our group members Adam he likes to talk about going to New York or to the gym and you can ask him a question or what ever.

Don't be scared you don't have to but you should definitely come out, I'll help you through all of it, if you feel uncomfortable stay around me I'll look out for you. Alright.


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

There's no actual Ice Breakers I didn't mean to give you that impression, I was saying Ice Breakers are something that you might consider in order to start a convo with someone and no one in that group is going to yell at you or hit you or spit at you or anything, it's your own irrational perceptions, no one in that group will tell you to screw off or laugh at you or anything bad at all. 

It's scary but this isn't high school, there are no cliques, there are no popular people or bullies or big bad guys on the corner going to tell you to take a hike woman. Nah your not going to find anyone like that, nobodies going to think your weird or awkward if you feel uncomfortable it's fine.

When you arrive maybe go to the washroom wash your face take some deep breathes if you really feel that anxious. There's a Tim Horton's and a McDonald's I can go buy you a coffee from either one if your not comfortable. Don't over think, for example ordering coffee I know that's a terrifying thought for many but here's the secret. 

Relaxed, take a breath before you go in, show eye contact,think calm down, Hi small, medium or large coffee which ever one you want cream and sweetner, milk and sugar or how ever you take your coffee, thank you and that's all no one is going to laugh at you or make you feel bad. 

McDonald's lady: Good afternoon how may I help you today or Hi what can I get you.

Me: Looking up at the board thinking taking a breath- I know what I want now. May I get a Medium sized cream and sweetner coffee, thank you and voila


----------



## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

Oh I gotcha now.  This doesn't sound as scary anymore, haha. Being the new kid doesn't bother me at all. I find the idea of meeting other people with similar issues very appealing. At my university I was the only one with agoraphobic tendencies in the support group so when one girl shared she doesn't like to raise her hand in class or ride elevators (for example) I felt quite isolated with the severity of my condition. Simply because everyone in the group, despite their anxiety, were functional and independent. I'm, well, not. A mortifying situation. 

I think my biggest concern at this point is simply the reality that if I do go to one of these meets, my service dog in training would be necessary and I understand that lots of people don't wish to be around dogs or are allergic. I can try to find someone to escort me there without her though. 

I think so long as no one has an issue with a person getting up and quietly leaving I'd be alright. But if it's one of those things where you all sit in a circle it'd be impossible not to notice.


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

seafolly said:


> Oh I gotcha now.  This doesn't sound as scary anymore, haha. Being the new kid doesn't bother me at all. I find the idea of meeting other people with similar issues very appealing. At my university I was the only one with agoraphobic tendencies in the support group so when one girl shared she doesn't like to raise her hand in class or ride elevators (for example) I felt quite isolated with the severity of my condition. Simply because everyone in the group, despite their anxiety, were functional and independent. I'm, well, not. A mortifying situation.
> 
> I think my biggest concern at this point is simply the reality that if I do go to one of these meets, my service dog in training would be necessary and I understand that lots of people don't wish to be around dogs or are allergic. I can try to find someone to escort me there without her though.
> 
> I think so long as no one has an issue with a person getting up and quietly leaving I'd be alright. But if it's one of those things where you all sit in a circle it'd be impossible not to notice.


One of my friends from the group was telling the guy with Agoraphobia about someone who could come along and take them by the hand and show them around and help get them out there and comfortable.

I take it that your guide dog serves that purpose, I can find out for you if you can bring him and to maybe get members to give him a head count of who's allergic but I don't think anyone should ever feel excluded. We sit on chairs around the room and you can leave at any time that you don't feel like being there. Get up maybe go to the washroom, walk the halls but if you really start to worry go home no need to force yourself to stay.

All you can do is work on it, your not going out there meeting random strangers on the street, there are people who will be extroverted socially anxious people, people like me are more outspoken in the group than others, we may talk a bit but that's more because we are in a comfortable situation for us, you'll find us there.

We talk and may contribute more but we may not chat to everyone or may find ourselves only comfortable around certain people but of course I'll talk to you and don't be scared to come talk to me at all I'm very nice and I will never judge you or scare you unless you look at my face I'm only kidding.


----------



## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

She does, yup.  Only in the past couple of weeks have we begun "solo missions" but she's a pretty great support. She recently accompanied me to a CBT appointment and just lay there for the hour while chewing a toy. Since she's still in training, by law, no one needs to grant her access yet. The goal for us is to be an independent unit - for the past 5 years I've always had a human escort. So it's totally okay if the group is uncomfortable with it. 

I think the most challenging bit will be to stay and not bolt (or maybe it's getting out my apartment door...hm!) but if it happens and no one judges, well, it's worth a shot.  It's nice to know there's another agoraphobic person. Hopefully we won't feed off each other's thoughts of, "I gotta get outta here!"


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

seafolly said:


> She does, yup.  Only in the past couple of weeks have we begun "solo missions" but she's a pretty great support. She recently accompanied me to a CBT appointment and just lay there for the hour while chewing a toy. Since she's still in training, by law, no one needs to grant her access yet. The goal for us is to be an independent unit - for the past 5 years I've always had a human escort. So it's totally okay if the group is uncomfortable with it.
> 
> I think the most challenging bit will be to stay and not bolt (or maybe it's getting out my apartment door...hm!) but if it happens and no one judges, well, it's worth a shot.  It's nice to know there's another agoraphobic person. Hopefully we won't feed off each other's thoughts of, "I gotta get outta here!"


Hey Seafolly I'm Chad by the way it's nice to meet you. Listen I asked Rama our facilitator about it so I'm just waiting on his response to let me know if it's possible I certainly don't want you to be excluded that's for sure. No way.


----------



## zerotohero (Nov 26, 2011)

I'm just wondering if we're still doing this? and are we going to the pub just to get drunk?


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

zerotohero said:


> I'm just wondering if we're still doing this? and are we going to the pub just to get drunk?


We already did it last week and this Saturday too and nobody gets drunk at the Pub. You come down to the group when the group meeting is done, we go to What a bagel which is the bagel store where members of the two groups our group and another facilitators group gather and you order a coffee, sandwhich etc and you sit with us or the other group.

You don't have to go if you don't want to but if you want to work on your social skills and get out there and mix than we invite you to come. we go to the pub maybe your hungry order some food, drink a beer or what ever you want and go home.

Nobody gets drunk at the pub, you can stay until we leave or you can simply go home. Relax your good. Come down this saturday, group is every Saturday, I'll be there, Chris, Kelly all from SAS.


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

Unfortunately my facilitator messaged me to say that due to the level of Anxiety within the group he'd be more comfortable with no dogs, sorry Seafolly he asked if you would be okay without your dog that is if your still up for coming out.


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Yea none of us gets drunk at the pub. We just drink socially. It's not an intimidating environment. They have bar stools. But its also like a regular sit-in restaurant with tables and chairs and they serve meals, appetizers and dessert. They are like any other restaurant that serves alcohol.

What we did after going to the pub was more interesting though. hehe. :evil


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

For those hesitating or worried about the group and what to expect, simply come out to the group and see for yourself, your not being asked to do anything with the potential to be illegal at all and nobody there will ever judge you, you come and if you want to talk you talk if you don't want to the regulars like myself will lead the conversations, a lot of the group with the exception of myself and my friends in the group ever socialize with each other or participate in class discussions. 

Your mixing it up the same way you are here only in real life, you have to work on loosening up letting go because nothing is ever going to change for you if you don't try, that's all I ask of people. 

If your scared your scared and you can be scared as long as you want, you can either sit at home and eat twinkies and talk about how depressing your life is and how much it sucks or you can take a chance get out there. 

Your not forced to be a social butterfly this is an SA group. There's no getting drunk, No singling you out games, just a really relaxed environment, there are teachers and graduate students in that class with SA. 

I take it though that we don't have that many Toronto Peeps here. Nobody is ever excluded, half of the group comes and simply goes home, you never going to get anywhere if you don't try, if your think something will happen your Castrophising (sp) write down what it is your afraid of and what's the worst that can happen. 

Remember your not going to die of your fear. So Rama asks the group a question and he wants to hear from someone who raised their hand, what's the worst that's going to happen if he asks you? example's like that. Cause I see it with people afraid to come because they are scared that they have to perform, no pressure.


----------



## littleturtle (Jan 14, 2011)

how much is the fee?

also, just so i understand it more clearly... throughout the session, is there someone there disscussing anxiety and its causes? is there like a "teacher"? 

again... i really want to get better but suffering from lazyness and procastination as well..


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

littleturtle said:


> how much is the fee?
> 
> also, just so i understand it more clearly... throughout the session, is there someone there disscussing anxiety and its causes? is there like a "teacher"?
> 
> again... i really want to get better but suffering from lazyness and procastination as well..


The Group is free, you just come out what ever Saturday, in what ever week or month you want, you can come like myself every Saturday or you can come once this Saturday and return again when ever your Saturday Schedual permits you, read this whole thread again I've answered a lot of questions about the group.

The Facilitators name is Rama you can join me and two other SAS members in Rama's group or you can join Bob's group which is the one next to us but you come, we don't specifically talk about Anxiety per say there's no in depth discussions there's a meditation period.

Everyone says what their Anxiety level is and if your new he'll ask you to sign your name and email address, and conversations vary, someone might bring up something and someone else will ask a question or contribute something. You never have to speak if you don't want to.

He'll ask you to say how your feeling, talk abit about yourself but he always says you don't have to talk, there are regulars like myself who never talk they let a very few talk. I'm one of the talkers amongst the group.

The only real way to conquer your fears is to try that's all we ask, try and come out to the Bagel shop, where you can talk to whom ever you want or sit by yourself (Don't be scared) people see this and they get so intimidated, you have the choice you can either come for an hour sit around like most people in the group so nervous doing nothing, going home and eating twinkies or watching tv or you can come to What a Bagel for as long as you'd like, which is our hang out and you take a chance say hello, talk were not going to attack you.

After if your really up for it, you can come with me and my buddies to the pub and yeah I know Chris that other so called place :teeth: but I think for a guy like yourself I think it's a good idea not to go that far too soon but like Rama says you won't die, were there for you, come out. Conquer that fear. Make your choice come out never improve your social skills, go home eat lay in bed

You want to improve make a commitment that your going to at least try.


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Yeah. On Saturday nights I would usually find myself surfing the internet, playing video games and watching TV/movies/Netflix. This is more fun than that. Though I don't want to make too much of a habit out of Duke of Kent Pub and that "other place" since that can get old (I only went once to that "other" place and Chad probably wants to go.  lol. So this coming Saturday fine. But the week after that, maybe let's try something different?) There are other places to drink alcohol and eat in Toronto and other fun things to do there. I wouldn't mind going to other bars/pubs too (especially if they serve real meals. What-A-Bagel is more like a partial meal I think. A bagel just isn't that filling) and also going to a nightclub if there is one nearby that place. lol


----------



## littleturtle (Jan 14, 2011)

you guys hit up strip joints lol?


----------



## Paranoid of Spies (Nov 3, 2011)

I went on saturday which was my second time going, my first time going was actually 2 months ago, so I'll give a sorta review of how I viewed it.

I think the experience differs from day to day. The first one I went to, there were roughly 10 people, and about 1/2 of them were talking among themselves so I felt a little out of place. This recent saturday there were around 20 people and it would seem there were 2 groups of people that were sorta talking among themselves but there were a lot more people there not talking when we were waiting so I found that more comforting.

The first time the people there didn't really have obvious SA meaning the way they talked and behaved seemed really normal, but my second time going there were more people with behavour one would associate with SA such as stutter speech, talking quietly or talking when asked too.

Overall I guess my second time I felt a lot better, so anyone that is interested give the group a shot a couple of times


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

littleturtle said:


> you guys hit up strip joints lol?


Not the whole group lol, My friends go, I am going to go out on Saturday I'll have some cash on hand by than and my grandmother was very cool about it which was surprising but yeah she'll let me go, as long as she knows I have a ride home but no it's just my buddies in the group, if that's your scene or you want to hang out and grab a beer than feel free to join us. The rest of the group either goes straight home after and never interacts or they come to the Bagel shop sit around and than go home.


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

Paranoid of Spies said:


> I went on saturday which was my second time going, my first time going was actually 2 months ago, so I'll give a sorta review of how I viewed it.
> 
> I think the experience differs from day to day. The first one I went to, there were roughly 10 people, and about 1/2 of them were talking among themselves so I felt a little out of place. This recent saturday there were around 20 people and it would seem there were 2 groups of people that were sorta talking among themselves but there were a lot more people there not talking when we were waiting so I found that more comforting.
> 
> ...


Hey your in the group? who are you by the way if you don't mind me asking? I don't know if we've met yet, I'm Chad of course haha but Hey I don't think I know who you are? If you mean this Saturday and your talking about the same group as me I was the guy sitting near the door who was talking about his martial arts experience. Maybe your talking about another group in Toronto.


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

littleturtle said:


> you guys hit up strip joints lol?


It's exposure therapy brah. :lol jk Nah it's just something that the dirty old men of the group do and me (a dirty young man) and a chick (a possibly closet dirty young woman. lol) just happened to tag along.


----------



## Paranoid of Spies (Nov 3, 2011)

Ironpain said:


> Hey your in the group? who are you by the way if you don't mind me asking? I don't know if we've met yet, I'm Chad of course haha but Hey I don't think I know who you are? If you mean this Saturday and your talking about the same group as me I was the guy sitting near the door who was talking about his martial arts experience. Maybe your talking about another group in Toronto.


I was in Bob's group, and I heard no Karate talk so I guess you were in the other room. In my group we were mostly talking about bullying.


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Interesting. So there's at least four people from SAS that attend the meetings. There was another one that used to but he hasn't attended meetings recently.


----------



## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

phoenixwright said:


> It's exposure therapy brah. :lol jk Nah it's just something that the dirty old men of the group do and me (a dirty young man) and *a chick (a possibly closet dirty young woman. lol)* just happened to tag along.


<


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

pita said:


> <


:lol


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

Paranoid of Spies said:


> I was in Bob's group, and I heard no Karate talk so I guess you were in the other room. In my group we were mostly talking about bullying.


Did you come out to What a Bagel? we should have hung out at What a Bagel, Chris (PhoniexWright) Kelly (Pita) and Chad (that's me) yeah we were in Rama's room, if I had known you were here and at the meeting I would have introduced myself. Yeah we were talking about Sports and Anxiety and I mentioned my experience in the martial arts.


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

phoenixwright said:


> It's exposure therapy brah. :lol jk Nah it's just something that the dirty old men of the group do and me (a dirty young man) and a chick (a possibly closet dirty young woman. lol) just happened to tag along.


Hey don't be calling me no old dirty man lol  haha at least not yet (High Five) Cause I'm coming on Saturday to get down and dirty with you guys ah. I won't be coming out on the 6th though.

I have to go to a memorial service but I'll be there again the week after that. If you guys are really lucky I'll get on stage and strip myself (Get that image of out of your head right now Christopher that's disgusting, :teeth just getting I mean about the stripping part.


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

pita said:


> <[/QUOTE:clap]
> 
> Dirty Woman sitting in our group
> Dirty Woman making home made
> ...


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

The guys tried to peer pressure her into getting a lap dance but she didn't give in. lol. My ex would go with her male buddies to strip clubs in her early twenties. She is bi. But she never had a lap dance either even though she likes girls. She thinks that strippers are gross. lol Two strippers approached me for lap dances in one night. Are strippers really that aggressive or do they think I'm cute or something? lol Or maybe I just give out pervert vibes. :lol.


----------



## littleturtle (Jan 14, 2011)

man... i really want to join just to be able to meet fellow anxiety sufferers. but i've never really done anything on my own like this, where it's just me and a bunch of strangers, i guess that's part of the problem.. would it be cool if i brought in a friend just to be there for support?


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

littleturtle said:


> man... i really want to join just to be able to meet fellow anxiety sufferers. but i've never really done anything on my own like this, where it's just me and a bunch of strangers, i guess that's part of the problem.. would it be cool if i brought in a friend just to be there for support?


No sweat you can bring in a friend that's cool.


----------



## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

No worries, Chad! I'm going to politely decline though - since she's a service dog that mitigates my disability (which is not primarily social anxiety, it's panic disorder) my dependence on her is too high to leave her at home. Thanks for checking!


----------



## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

Anymore people interested in the Toronto support group? Currently have 2 other SAS members, don't be shy if you can come out, please do, everyone who wants to come is welcome. SAS members in Toronto if your around come out any Saturday you can. 

Drew has put up the link to the group, please consider signing up for the group. I won't be there next week, I have another engagement to attend to but I'll be back the following week, we also have a toast masters which is run by a lady named Rebecca so if your interested in that please sign up. 

I'd like to bring as many SAS members in the group to make you feel a little more comfortable, so let me know your interested and go to Drew's thread and the link and sign up. 

Thanks 

Chad


----------



## RoflSaurus (Feb 25, 2012)

I really wish I could attend a group like this. Unfortunately I live in Peterborough and don't drive, so I would have to make it a whole day trip and take the greyhound down there, and walk around (probably getting lost) by myself lol... gahhh. It's also almost impossible to do anything like that with my son here, but I really wish I could.


----------



## stillstruggling (Jun 6, 2011)

wow i didnt know about this, but i go to uni downtown toronto and would like to give this a try if these meetings are still held and would like more information on location and times


----------



## Paranoid of Spies (Nov 3, 2011)

stillstruggling said:


> wow i didnt know about this, but i go to uni downtown toronto and would like to give this a try if these meetings are still held and would like more information on location and times


Location is I believe 44 Eglinton West. It's the building with the Subway restaurant (not subway station) right at Dulpex and North side of the street. If im not mistaken it's the building that is immediately west of the tall office buildings (Rio buildings I believe).

When you get there, there is usually a 8x11 piece of paper on the front door telling you the group is in this building and that you need to press the wheelchair button to open the door. The meeting is held on the 6th floor in two rooms immediately to your right when you get off the elevator.

There is only one meeting a week and it starts at 4pm on Saturdays, but you can come later if you wish but I suggest coming at 4pm because it might end up full.


----------



## candycandy (Apr 17, 2012)

wow! just wondering -- are these meetings still being held regularly?


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

candycandy said:


> wow! just wondering -- are these meetings still being held regularly?


Yeah. Every Saturday.



RoflSaurus said:


> I really wish I could attend a group like this. Unfortunately I live in Peterborough and don't drive, so I would have to make it a whole day trip and take the greyhound down there, and walk around (probably getting lost) by myself lol... gahhh. It's also almost impossible to do anything like that with my son here, but I really wish I could.


Ouch Peterborough is far! In Southern Ontario, it seems like Toronto hogs most of the meetup groups. Even here in Mississauga, which is like the 6th largest city in Canada, there's not much going on on meetup.com. Greyhounding there and back would definitely be brutal. lol If you're in the area on a Saturday and have free time, might be worth checking out though.


----------

