# scared to go to therapy



## AnthonyC (Jun 17, 2012)

Hi
I have allot of anxiety,shyness problems,social phobia and other phobia's
and a very nervous person.
My Doctor has wrote a letter for me to go to therapy but i am
very nervous so 2 months later i still haven't gone as i am a coward!!
For me talking to someone for even 30 min being nervous is going to
be hell.I cant even spend 3 hours with my own family .

If someone that's gone for therapy tell me how does it work???
How do u know they know about these stuff?
You think i can write down what i want to say cause i don't want to
forget something?
Thanks


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Yeah, it would be nice if you could right down all your fears. The initial visit will be just getting to know you and whats bothering you. Going is good because the therapist can see how bad you are and see what forms of treatment would work best.


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

Don't build it up in your head to be more than what it is.

These therapists are highly trained, compassionate people who have devoted their lives and careers to helping and understanding others. Whatever your situation is, they've seen far worse. Once you suffer through the first meeting (intake) it will be much easier afterwards.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

mjkittredge said:


> Don't build it up in your head to be more than what it is.
> 
> These therapists are highly trained, compassionate people who have devoted their lives and careers to helping and understanding others. Whatever your situation is, they've seen far worse. Once you suffer through the first meeting (intake) it will be much easier afterwards.


True. They have seen worse and are there to help.


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## Niccolo (Oct 29, 2014)

Therapy can make your symptoms worse, at the very least waste your time. It would be better for you if you went the self help route and picked up books from the library. Therefore you won't have to put yourself through any unnecessary trauma.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

Oh man, you're way over-thinking this. I've seen almost twenty (I think) therapists. My mom is a therapist, she's a licensed psychologist. Yep. I grew up with this. With having every move I made being analyzed. She was also very abusive, but that's another story.

They're just like you. They have faults. They may not give the best advice. They may have their head completely up their ***. There's absolutely no reason why you should be intimidated by them. Don't take notes. Just go with your gut, be honest, or as honest as you can be with them. You should be more concerned about what they're doing for you, than anything else.


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## AnthonyC (Jun 17, 2012)

Thanks for all the advise makes me feel a bit better to go and i have tried self help
for about 5 years no luck
cheers


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## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

I can help you here or at least offer you a bit of support. I was agoraphobic and needing to go to therapy. I know the feelings of terror, dread, and the unknown. Self help doesn't work, I tried that too for years and it just gets worse. 

It's good you've realized that you can't do it alone anymore and it is now a need. Do you have a 'safe person' you can go with? A family member or trusted friend to ride with you there and either go with you or wait in the lobby? I'm stubborn and though terrified and convinced he was going to eat me....I walked in alone. Allowed me to keep some of my pride! 

Make the appointment. I had to have my father call and make the appointment for me as I was too scared to do it myself. Whatever it takes there, get that done as step one. Next step is trust your gut. The first one might not be for you. If you feel worse rather than a bit relieved after going the first time, I would advise to seek someone else. Remind yourself that this is their job. They see tons of people with issues all the time, worse issues even. It helps to find a therapist that specializes in anxiety disorders. I highly recommend this. They will know how to communicate with you and put you at ease. Have faith in that and remind yourself of this.

Hope that helps some. Feel free to message me if you need anymore encouragement or advice about it.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

AnthonyC said:


> You think i can write down what i want to say cause i don't want to forget something?


Definitely write out everything you can think of, and take that with you.

I usually do that for appointments, and just knowing I have that to refer to alleviates some of the anxiety involved with it. (Otherwise I may just be going into it with a blank mind and nothing to say.)

It's the therapist's job to get you thinking and talking. The onus is on them -- not you.


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## AnetaBenkston (Feb 14, 2015)

I don't see a point in therapy . I just understand how talking to someone is going to fix my problems and taking medication is out of the question .


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## sociallydiseased (Jan 5, 2013)

Before I left for deployment, I started seeing a military therapist for Borderline Personality Disorder. I had this crazy notion of how therapy was going to be and I was stressing myself out over it. Turns out, therapy really isn't that bad. Talking about my problems to someone who will actually listen to me is extremely cathartic.


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## AnthonyC (Jun 17, 2012)

reaffected said:


> I can help you here or at least offer you a bit of support. I was agoraphobic and needing to go to therapy. I know the feelings of terror, dread, and the unknown. Self help doesn't work, I tried that too for years and it just gets worse.
> 
> It's good you've realized that you can't do it alone anymore and it is now a need. Do you have a 'safe person' you can go with? A family member or trusted friend to ride with you there and either go with you or wait in the lobby? I'm stubborn and though terrified and convinced he was going to eat me....I walked in alone. Allowed me to keep some of my pride!
> 
> ...


Thanks will keep in that in mind and message you thanks for your kindness.
I am going on holiday for 3 weeks in a week and a half's time.My fear says go
after the holiday but my mind says go now and then think on holiday if
i like the therapist.
What do u think??


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## Darkness Evanescent (Jul 30, 2014)

AnthonyC said:


> I am going on holiday for 3 weeks in a week and a half's time.My fear says go
> after the holiday but my mind says go now and then think on holiday if
> i like the therapist.
> What do u think??


I think going first and thinking on it while you're away is a good idea. You and the therapist can get a feel for each other at the initial visit. I don't know about you, but "waiting until later" is a good excuse not to bother going through with it at all. But it's ultimately your call.


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## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

AnthonyC said:


> Thanks will keep in that in mind and message you thanks for your kindness.
> I am going on holiday for 3 weeks in a week and a half's time.My fear says go
> after the holiday but my mind says go now and then think on holiday if
> i like the therapist.
> What do u think??


Go first and consider your holiday your 'reward' for getting it done. Then you can completely relax while on holiday and not have "I should have" or "I need to" interrupting a good time.


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## Mart84 (Feb 20, 2015)

Do you think therapy really helps? My sister is suffering from depression and anxiety because she lost her husband in a tragic car accident last 3 months and she depend it on alcohol and drugs. There's not a single day that she's not drunk, and when she's drunk, she used drugs. She said, she forget all the pain when she's under the influence of alcohol and drugs. But we can't let her be like this for her entire life, she has 2 little kids that need her the most. So now I'm searching for a good addiction rehab here in Alabama, to ask for help for my sister. But honestly I don't have knowledge with this kind of stuff, so I want to ask if you guys know a good treatment program for my sister? And do you think going to a rehab center is a good idea?


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## alexaaz (Feb 21, 2015)

My first time appointment with a therapist was SO nervous. I couldn't sleep the night before, having some nightmare.
But once I came in the office, everything went easy and quickly. 
The more time you take, the more exhausted you become. Just do it once, and then it would be all fine!
Best of luck to you!


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## Niccolo (Oct 29, 2014)

I can say from experience if self help didn't work, you definitely won't get anything out of therapy. Especially since you know what they're going to say from reading the books and watching the videos. I'd hate to see you have high hopes for something that's going to be counterproductive to your recovery.


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## FearIsland (Feb 14, 2014)

AnthonyC said:


> Hi
> I have allot of anxiety,shyness problems,social phobia and other phobia's
> and a very nervous person.
> My Doctor has wrote a letter for me to go to therapy but i am
> ...


You sound exactly like me when I first went to therapy. At the time I was in such a bad state that just going to the supermarket or saying hello to a neighbor was terrifying. Eventually I just told myself that I couldn't go on like this and that I would have to get help come hell or high water. I made a promise to see the psychiatrist no matter what. I was so scared I had to bring my mother there with me for support. Don't be afraid to bring a friend or family member with you, the therapist will usually even allow them to come into the room with you if you wish.

It's important to realize that the therapist is a professional that deals with anxious patients on a daily basis. Everyone is anxious to see the therapist for the first time. It's part of their job, there's nothing to be afraid of. I remember when I saw my therapist for the first time, I told him that I didn't want to come and he just smiled and said "You thought I was going to make you nervous didn't you?" I just laughed and said, yes, and from then on I was much more comfortable.

You can read my thread about my experience and my recovery here: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f43/seeing-a-psychiatrist-in-2-weeks-870225/


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## GilMon (Aug 4, 2014)

Mart84 said:


> Do you think therapy really helps? My sister is suffering from depression and anxiety because she lost her husband in a tragic car accident last 3 months and she depend it on alcohol and drugs. There's not a single day that she's not drunk, and when she's drunk, she used drugs. She said, she forget all the pain when she's under the influence of alcohol and drugs. But we can't let her be like this for her entire life, she has 2 little kids that need her the most. So now I'm searching for a good addiction rehab here in Alabama, to ask for help for my sister. But honestly I don't have knowledge with this kind of stuff, so I want to ask if you guys know a good treatment program for my sister? And do you think going to a rehab center is a good idea?


Therapy can make a person healthier and happier. It will help someone build a strategy to handle their emotions and problems. You may try to search for Rehab Care Treatment Services, you can inquire first or maybe attending support groups like AA or NA can help your sister. I hope this information can help you.


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## downinthenadir (Apr 13, 2013)

To be honest, therapy is only scary the first time you go. After than the anxiety subsides.

I've been to therapy 10 or so times years ago. It sort of helped me, although I helped myself more than any therapy. The thing that therapy provided me was shedding light on possible causes of my SA, identifying wrong thought processes and getting someone else's unique viewpoint on my overblown problems. Also just having someone to ***** to about SA that understands and is bound by law not to tell anyone else lol. I think the biggest benefit for me though was getting the therapist's unique viewpoint. It also helped that my therapist was an extremely attractive blonde lol. But at the time it was intimidating, today I am doing a lot, a lot better.


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## TeenyBeany (Sep 3, 2008)

I'm not sure about where you are located, but the therapists in California will allow you to interview them before making your first appointment. I did this with about 5 therapists. I asked them if they were experienced in CBT as well as Exposure Therapy. I wanted to make sure the therapist and I had the same end goal in mind: to get me out of the house. One thing that was very helpful was the therapist offering to do the first couple of sessions via phone. That allowed me to get comfortable with her voice and her thought process. One of our goals was actually for me to make it into her office. This was done by the 4th or 5th session (I cant even remember it's been so long ago). Anyway. By the time I was ready to go, it wasn't as horrible as it would have been if I would have jumped right in. Hope you're able to find a wonderful therapist like mine!


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## breakthechain (Feb 26, 2015)

I see my therapist once a week or two for already three months. What I surely can tell you is that IT REALLY HELPS! You shouldn't expect to heal after two or three visits, but remember: your therapist is the one who will always listen and try to understand you! Being a friend for their patients is their job 
So despite how nervous you are go and see what happens! If you'll feel uncomfortable, say it! If you'll feel like leaving, tell your therapist about it! You don't have to be afraid, but also you don't have to pretend you're confident and sociable!
Good luck! And tell us how it went))


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