# Life living with a deformity



## Nighty (Apr 1, 2011)

As a kid i was born with an ear that had a severe defect known as microtia, and the other was fine. Growing up was very tough knowing that i have many situations that needs to be dealt with besides my defect, Ive also realize that ive had strabismus too due to it. I know that theres nothing to do but, to accept what i have, quite depressing. Im wondering if anyone would like to share some equality and would like to vent. I honestly feel like everyone's normal accept for me.


----------



## Cellophane (Jul 24, 2014)

I think we all feel that, "everyone's normal except me." It's not true however. Others might not be dealing with your deformity but most of us have a lot of problems. Body image issues, self-esteem, etc. I had acne for most of my life, at times it would get very bad and I would literally hate myself. Also, I've always been thin (alternating between very thin and just thin) which made my life hard too. People would think that I'm starving at home and don't have enough food to eat when in fact I just don't have enough appetite to want to eat. It made my life at work very hard. People would patronize me all the time and won't take me seriously, when I'm supposed to be managing them. I do think that I had SA all my life but this exacerbated it and made me more anxious and sometimes defensive around people. 

It is depressing, like you say, but it makes our accomplishments all that sweeter. Just growing up in the conditions you describe and surviving them is a victory. Try to focus on what you can do instead of reflecting on what you can't change.


----------



## SOME (Jul 13, 2009)

I can relate I have a lolzy eye


----------



## Ellethwyn (Nov 2, 2014)

I was not born with mine, but was severely burned on my right arm and hand when I was three years old. I have nasty scars and my hand does not look like my left one. I spent so many years trying to hide my scars. Of course kids in school made fun of my burns. In school I felt like I was the only one who was different. Kids also made fun of me because I have such light hair, that they called me an albino... I'm not one though, just very blonde. Not only at school was I teased for my looks... at home it was even worse because I had this older brother... who is not biologically related to me ( he was adopted), who hated me. He made my life hell, bullying me. It was one of the greatest days of my life when he moved out when I was 12.


----------



## xyz.unknown (Oct 12, 2012)

Nighty said:


> As a kid i was born with an ear that had a defect, and the other was fine. Growing up was very tough knowing that i have many situations that needs to be dealt with besides my defect, *Ive also realize that ive had strabismus too due to it.* I know that theres nothing to do but, to accept what i have, quite depressing. Im wondering if anyone would like to share some equality and would like to vent. I honestly feel like everyone's normal accept for me.


I have Strabismus(hypertropia+exotropia) too... But I dont know if mine is as severe as yours. Mostly its not very apparent until I move my eyes at extreme angles but sometimes its so apparent its noticeable... How did you get it?


----------



## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

You are not alone. Everyone has some type of deformity if you really think about it. Some might have physical deformities while others have mental deformities. Hell, some might have both like you but we are all the same. I understand what you are going through.


----------



## CWe (Mar 7, 2010)

Feel your pain in many ways. Bless you


----------



## Zyriel (May 20, 2011)

I don't have a deformity (otherwise from being extremely weird lol that I am constantly reminded of). However, it has always made me feel line an "alien" in this world. So I understand how you feel somewhat. And honestly it takes much courage to go through each day keeping your head up and pushing on, so much respect in that regard^^

Here's an inspiring video too (although a little too touchy-feely for me, has a good message lol):


----------



## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

I have quite a few deformities, large tumors sticking out of both my knees, warped right leg below the knee, hammer toes, tumor on my left shoulder, several scars where other tumors had been removed as well. Honesty other than in gym class in grade school, no one notices them. They are a lot less of an issue than I thought they would be and people when I tell them are certainly a lot more understanding of them than they are of SA.


----------



## ShadowWraith (Dec 17, 2014)

My nose is misshapen and somewhat crooked. I don't really know if it was always like that.


----------



## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

I have Pectus excavatum.


----------



## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

You can get surgery for strabismus  I did, and I don't see double NEARLY as much, and my eye doesn't drift anymore.

I problems with my nose, too. I can only breath through one nostril since the... airway is almost completely shut by bone on the other one. It's very hard to breath since my nose is thin, so I have to breath through my mouth most of the time. I had surgery for it when I was like 4 years old, which made it better, but it has gradually grown back to the point where it is now, again. I've lived with it for years, without knowing exactly what it was(because I didn't really know what they did during the operation when I was a kid until now). I went to a doctor about it this year, and it turns out that I'm gonna need specialist surgery if I want to be able to breath normally. I'm waiting to hear from the hospital.

I've also somewhat ruined my nose externally, because I used to have some sort of OCD-ish behavior, a few years ago, where I pushed my nose up like a pig all the time for like 2 years when I was at home(watching tv or whatever). I ended up tearing the cartilage or something, and even though I stopped doing it, it has changed the shape of my nose a lot, and it keeps getting worse all the time(this is something I wouldn't be able to get help with unless I got plastic surgery, of course).

(On top of that I have other health problems which makes my life hell. Yay!)


----------



## chilip (Jan 6, 2015)

What is "normal"?


----------



## Nighty (Apr 1, 2011)

chilip said:


> What is "normal"?


With an ear being lost, i'll rather have my arm gone or even a leg missing because it had impacting me in many ways. but, that's just the way I feel with my microtia. As to defining normal, normal would be considered all body parts un-missing. Then again, its just my way of thinking.


----------



## chilip (Jan 6, 2015)

Nighty said:


> With an ear being lost, i'll rather have my arm gone or even a leg missing because it had impacting me in many ways. but, that's just the way I feel with my microtia. As to defining normal, normal would be considered all body parts un-missing. Then again, its just my way of thinking.


I'm sorry that you're going through this -- that you're missing your ear. I'm missing no body parts but I don't consider myself normal, either.

I suppose normal to me is not having mental illness, as I've been through so much because of my depression and SA, just like you've been through so much because of your ear. But also to me normal is only a word some people make up to make others feel bad about themselves. In the end none of us are perfect.


----------



## derpresion (May 17, 2012)

is it just me or ears actually look like deformed formation at all??? .___.

ill spare u of my opinion of ye other parts ofc my fellow beauty humansss...

but yea?? :ss


----------



## xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxSharkG1RL (Dec 31, 2014)

hey I duno if this makes you feel any better but, I think deformities can be hot actually.  they make you unique and not the same as every other joe walking around which it's lame to be the same. . . .  i embrace being different. some people would call me fat ... it used to bother me, but now im like there is NO reason to compare or rate one another to each other. pretty/handsome is just a word and is a word that can be used loosely and mean you're 100% handsome just like the next guy. if that makes any sense.. . i just mean it's stupid to compare 2 people if both people could be termed pretty or handsome both are pretty in their own way.. i'm sure you're handsome even with your ear.


----------



## xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxSharkG1RL (Dec 31, 2014)

Zyriel said:


> I don't have a deformity (otherwise from being extremely weird lol that I am constantly reminded of). However, it has always made me feel line an "alien" in this world. So I understand how you feel somewhat. And honestly it takes much courage to go through each day keeping your head up and pushing on, so much respect in that regard^^
> 
> Here's an inspiring video too (although a little too touchy-feely for me, has a good message lol):


omg this guy(Nick) did a pep rally at my school! he was very inspirational. we all were in the gym with the lights completely dimmed it was pitch black and all the sudden they turned on the lights and he was a on table and did a back flip off of the table. It was rad. <3


----------



## derpresion (May 17, 2012)

ears just look like somekinda crumpled crippled dumpling scrambles nyone? .~.


----------



## Zyriel (May 20, 2011)

SharkG1RL said:


> omg this guy(Nick) did a pep rally at my school! he was very inspirational. we all were in the gym with the lights completely dimmed it was pitch black and all the sudden they turned on the lights and he was a on table and did a back flip off of the table. It was rad. <3


! Didn't realize he was a ninja haha that's awesome xD


----------



## rgln8 (Feb 11, 2015)

hope this video can help you, have a wonderfull weekend


----------



## marcel177 (Oct 7, 2012)

Android 17 and 18 done it again


----------



## Darkness Evanescent (Jul 30, 2014)

Nighty said:


> As a kid i was born with an ear that had a severe defect known as microtia, and the other was fine. Growing up was very tough knowing that i have many situations that needs to be dealt with besides my defect, Ive also realize that ive had strabismus too due to it. I know that theres nothing to do but, to accept what i have, quite depressing. *Im wondering if anyone would like to share some equality and would like to vent.* *I honestly feel like everyone's normal accept for me.*


I was born with slight cerebral palsy which affects my walking and gives me some balance issues. I can get around on my own and I honestly don't even feel aware of it unless someone stares at me or is really mean. I honestly believe it caused my social anxiety, in a way, because I was bullied so much in school. I also have a lazy eye. And I feel that way, too, honestly... that everyone is normal except for me.


----------



## Humpster (Mar 31, 2015)

This is an issue that's come up for me too, feeling deformed. I have a rare genetic disease called oesteogenisis imperfecta. I'm lucky I have type 1 which is the mild kind but it still means I have brittle bone disease. It can also give you a distinct look which I feel I have. Underdeveloped chin, round face, bulgy eyes. Just looking very young in general. It affects people's attitude towards me because I'm talked down to a lot. And whenever I'm ID'd (a lot) cashiers always think it's o.k to make such a big deal about how i look when it's kind of personal to comment to a stranger. One cashier said I looked 12 which really must be pushing it (i'm 26).

I probably care about the way I think it makes me look than the actual health implications. It's funny because I always knew my face didn't look right then I was diagnosed when I was 19 so it did kind of confirm my thoughts of looking strange. I think I can emphasise with how you feel.


----------



## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

I'm not going to say what I have because I don't want to be identified it someone I know is reading this....

but yes acceptance has been very hard for me to gain. These days I have a diagnosis which has made it easier to deal with now that I have a name for the condition, and Im jsut thankful I don't have it any worse. Nowadays I rarely feel ugly, at least compared to a few years ago and way back when I used to look in the mirror every day and feel like a troll.

But really, there isn't any standard that people must reach. We aren't "supposed" to look like anything, or have a body of any certain proportion or whatever. Some people simply aren't born "looking right" because nature is organic and it isn't a machine spitting out perfect clones...


----------



## DerrickOdea (Aug 17, 2015)

We all feel like this but its not true, all these are our fears. You are not alone in this.


----------



## GGTFM (Oct 7, 2014)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxSharkG1RL said:


> hey I duno if this makes you feel any better but, I think deformities can be hot actually.  they make you unique and not the same as every other joe walking around which it's lame to be the same. . . .  i embrace being different. some people would call me fat ... it used to bother me, but now im like there is NO reason to compare or rate one another to each other. pretty/handsome is just a word and is a word that can be used loosely and mean you're 100% handsome just like the next guy. if that makes any sense.. . i just mean it's stupid to compare 2 people if both people could be termed pretty or handsome both are pretty in their own way.. i'm sure you're handsome even with your ear.


I completely agree! I also think deformities are really hot! :blush


----------



## Surly Wurly (May 9, 2015)

Nighty said:


> As a kid i was born with an ear that had a severe defect known as microtia, and the other was fine. Growing up was very tough knowing that i have many situations that needs to be dealt with besides my defect, Ive also realize that ive had strabismus too due to it. I know that theres nothing to do but, to accept what i have, quite depressing. Im wondering if anyone would like to share some equality and would like to vent. I honestly feel like everyone's normal accept for me.


i know you probably feel awful about this, but i have a bit of a squint in one of my eyes and i try to remind myself that a lot of people do and noone seems to care or ever even talk about it. did you even know that kate moss and scarlett johansson have strabismus? ive never heard anyone talk about it, they seem to be much more concerned about other things 



















i think that a lot of the butthurt i feel about the way i look is kinda like that thing where if you think about a random word for too long it starts to look wrong. its just because im fixating too much, everyone has things about them that are a little odd, if you sit there and try to dissect what they look like.

sometimes i'm at work feeling all self conscious and i try to snap out of it by just looking at someone else and i think "yeah if that guy was me i'd be thinking about how unusual my nose looks, except ive only just noticed now because im imagining he's me. the problem isnt the nose, its the fact that if it was MY nose id feel self conscious, because its ME". Or, "that guy has quite a flushed complexion and ive never even thought of this until now, if i was him i'd feel embarassed about it but because i'm not him ive never once thought it looks odd or theres anything wrong with him."

we can fixate, is what i'm saying. i know you are saying theres specific things "wrong" with you, but i dunno, a lot of the time people just dont care about that stuff. i knew a girl with a big scar on her arm, like a really large burn scar or something, and i never found out what happened because noone ever said anything about it or anything. on me, well id be self conscious about that. but because its on someone else i just think "yeah sh1t happens its just a scar". and theres a guy at work with only one hand, he goes out drinking with everyone else and he has a girlfriend and is moving up in the world. if it was me i be crushing myself full time about how noone will ever accept me and everyone will think im weird, but noone cares.

dont decide you are no good on everyone else's behalf, is what im saying i guess.


----------



## JohnDoe26 (Jun 6, 2012)

GGTFM said:


> I completely agree! I also think deformities are really hot! :blush


----------



## GGTFM (Oct 7, 2014)

JohnDoe26 said:


>












Yes.


----------



## JohnDoe26 (Jun 6, 2012)

GGTFM said:


> Yes.


I believe you.

She's actually a wonderful person, has a great personality and is married. As an ugly person, I look up to her. Check out her interview:


----------



## GGTFM (Oct 7, 2014)

JohnDoe26 said:


> I believe you.
> 
> She's actually a wonderful person, has a great personality and is married. As an ugly person, I look up to her. Check out her interview:


Damn, just learned something new, I guess. You're right, though, she does have a pretty good personality as well. But I still think her big eyes are absolutely beautiful!


----------



## zomb (May 4, 2014)

When I was a baby my head grew, or swelled. People thought I had water on the brain. But nothing.
taunted my whole life for it.


----------



## Dennis27 (Aug 12, 2014)

Give you all pure respect. Always wondered how ppl with deformities get through in this society that just seems to be all about looks and sex. God turn the TV on to watch basketball and I seen the same cialis commercial like 10 times during the game.


----------



## handheart (Feb 13, 2016)

well a year can be a inus from you but think that you breath ,you see the sun you can go everywhere with your feet ,you can think you can enjoy etc and i can continue more .I think you find a lot of reasons to forger about defect think that others are more bad like you


----------



## In The Shade (Jun 26, 2016)

Theres always somebody worse off than you, well thats what people say anyway.

I have acne all over my back and a lazy eye, im pretty sure that is considered deformed in this superficial society.


----------

