# Why do socially popular people complain?



## ridgelands (Jun 27, 2013)

.


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## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

Well, I can imagine ...the popular person feels like they are liked by everyone except the people that he actually loves


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

There are a myriad of reasons a 'popular' person could be stressed out, too many to list. Just because some people like someone doesn't mean their life is without difficulties. 

Its just like saying how can a rich person ever be unhappy? Well being rich doesn't hurt but it doesn't solve everything. 

Same with being a pretty/handsome person. We all have our own problems... :-|


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## Autumn26 (Aug 1, 2013)

awkwardsilent said:


> There are a myriad of reasons a 'popular' person could be stressed out, too many to list. Just because some people like someone doesn't mean their life is without difficulties.


I agree. Not being well-liked or social isn't the only thing that causes unhappiness. Maybe that person has problems at home, is stressed at school, etc. But I get how frustrating it can be when you see these people that don't have the same problems as you and wonder why they complain. I just remind myself that everyone has problems and we all have to deal with difficulties in life.


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## EternallyRestless (Jul 19, 2011)

Sometimes "popular" people are spoiled and look for reasons to complain. But there are several other factors in life. I personally think wealth is more important to happiness than popularity, but that's just me.


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## Neddy123 (Jan 2, 2013)

"Popular" people are often not all that popular. I honestly believe 50% of friendships are quite fake


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## corbeaublanc (Jan 29, 2013)

hm...because they are spoiled-none of which (okay, maybe a few) do not know of the world _we _ face in _our_ awkward lives. They're so used to the company, I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't complain. If they loose a friend, they go on an "I don't care, I have more" tangent, and honestly, the really popular people probably don't know what true friendship means. For us with anxiety, we know the definition because we crave it; but can never seem to get it.

....I just had a moment of rare thought..


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## max87 (Aug 7, 2010)

There's an internet meme called "First World Problems". There's your answer.


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## Bedouin (Aug 3, 2013)

Everyone's unhappy in their own way.
Socialites might be unhappy because their craving for other people spawns from unhealthy psychological imbalances in the first place. In the same way that some of us are loners.

Anyway you could (if you like, and want to see it this way) be happy they're unhappy. They are the people that would bully you at school or avoid you completely, and heck maybe still would/do.


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## BigBlueMoon (Feb 7, 2013)

Being socially adept and popular doesn't just exempt him/her from other types of suffering.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

Everyone feels like their pain hurts the most.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Because they can't keep **** to themselves like we do.


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## Phalene (Feb 15, 2013)

visualkeirockstar said:


> Because they can't keep **** to themselves like we do.


4K posts on a SA forum, that is keeping stuff to oneself?

I am quite popular now, in the sense that I can organize a night out somewhere and people would come. Doesn't mean my life is golden, doesn't mean I can get the intimacy I want or prevent strangers from insulting me based on my looks. Doesn't fix my crazy mum, doesn't make me feel beautiful or confident with guys. It helped me after years of being bullied and rejected, and it feels good, for sure. But then as I am fat and suffering from it, I could start a "what do slim people have to whine about?" or "what do pretty girls complain about?" or "what do non-victims of child abuse complain about?"

Don't know what kind of sick satisfaction anyone can have from entering the who-has-it-worse contest.


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## Phalene (Feb 15, 2013)

Any stats or it's just another generalization?

Even if it were true for the "many poor people with bad health but great social circles", what is your point?


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Phalene said:


> 4K posts on a SA forum, that is keeping stuff to oneself?
> 
> I am quite popular now, in the sense that I can organize a night out somewhere and people would come. Doesn't mean my life is golden, doesn't mean I can get the intimacy I want or prevent strangers from insulting me based on my looks. Doesn't fix my crazy mum, doesn't make me feel beautiful or confident with guys. It helped me after years of being bullied and rejected, and it feels good, for sure. But then as I am fat and suffering from it, I could start a "what do slim people have to whine about?" or "what do pretty girls complain about?" or "what do non-victims of child abuse complain about?"
> 
> Don't know what kind of sick satisfaction anyone can have from entering the who-has-it-worse contest.


Internet and real life is different.


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## Phalene (Feb 15, 2013)

As long as you vent somewhere, you don't keep things to yourself. That is the whole point of venting here when you can't do it IRL. And when you have thousands of message on a board, it is definitely not keeping things to yourself.

So funny things is that for some people apparently, being social = having been a bully (where the heck does that come from?) = whining all the time about issues they don't have the right to complain about because they are sociable. And still I am sure some people here would like to be more sociable. Biased, much?


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## Phalene (Feb 15, 2013)

Sure, that is why famous and rich people are so happy, don't do drugs, don't commit suicide and never have any issues worth mentioning. Are you surrounded by whiny but socially popular people who make your life hell because they steal your prerogative to whine...?

Oh and why do people who have food, shelter and a stable government complain about how tough their lives are? I mean, who cares if you don't have a social circle - you're able to leave your house safely without being shot and to have food whenever you want to. How can a person living in a 1st world country ever be unhappy?


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## Kozak (Feb 21, 2011)

There are certainly systematic patterns that exist for subjective well-being, such as mild correlations with wealth etc. however more then anything it appears that people have a certain "happiness" set point and quickly adjust to changing circumstances and settle back at this point. For instance studies done on lottery winners show that their happiness tends to improve for perhaps several weeks and afterwards they tend to report feeling the same as before. In short people become quickly acclimated to their circumstances good or bad, and return to their set point.

For me personally I was miserable when I had friends, I am miserable now the I have cut off contact with them, I was even miserable as a young child. If anything I may be more happy now since I ended my friendships simply because I am more calm and less anxious on the whole.


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## adifferentgirl (Jul 26, 2013)

Because they were abused as a child?

Jesus, there's loads of reasons to be unhappy!

I sort of know what you mean in a way though. A friend of mine used to complain that she was invited out to too many social events and she found it difficult to say no, but she was an introvert and just wanted to be alone. I had to remind myself that her problems were different from mine, and her problems were just as valid as mine, and just tuck all that anger and resentment away for five minutes while I listened and gave advice. After all, she probably didn't know that I didn't feel I had any friends apart from her. In fact, perhaps she just thought I was really good at turning down social invites! And if someone is upset about something, they are upset. That's valid and should be treated as such.


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## Glass Child (Feb 28, 2013)

corbeaublanc said:


> hm...because they are spoiled-none of which (okay, maybe a few) do not know of the world _we _ face in _our_ awkward lives. They're so used to the company, I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't complain. If they loose a friend, they go on an "I don't care, I have more" tangent, and honestly, the really popular people probably don't know what true friendship means. For us with anxiety, we know the definition because we crave it; but can never seem to get it.
> 
> ....I just had a moment of rare thought..


This is an interesting way to look at it~ Have to agree.


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

Being socially awkward or having few friends isn't the only problem a person can have, although having supportive friends can make all of your problems a lot easier.


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