# Should I go back to my therapist or find a new one?



## ahita (Oct 14, 2012)

Hi, i started counselling/therapy a few weeks ago. It's free from my college campus... When i first went i told my counsellor/therapist about some academic issues and then told him about my personal issues regarding losing my dad at a very young age. He told me i might have agoraphobia... which i didn't disagree with. This is when my problem began:
The first session was alright, didn't think much of him and thought he probably didn't know how to handle my situation.
The second session I started to enjoy going there, and also began to feel a strong admiration for him. (Nothing romantic but a very very strong bond/friendship idk)
Third session, someone walks out of his office, and i get a surge of jealousy. This confused me a little but i was able to talk myself out of it.
Fourth session, i told him about my dream i had of him (nothing romantic, just running to him because someone is chasing me) he said he felt sick and needed to end our session early, this made me feel really bad.
My problem in a nutshell: I think i have very very strong admiration for my therapist and wish he could be my friend, and i feel jealous of other clients (i feel inadequate) when i see someone he might like better. So why do i feel like this? I cancelled all further appointments as a result, It felt like i was getting into a relationship... if he asks me to come back should i bring this up or will he just be repulsed or creeped out.
he also became stuck in my head, and i started to think about what i would say in therapy and what i would tell him obsessively... so that also why i quit , should i just look for a new one?
Thanks for reading that, I hope someone's been there... and can give me some advice.


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## Delicate (May 23, 2008)

I'm shocked at his reaction, I don't think what you told him about your dream was inappropriate. Your dreams show your feelings and you're being helped by a specialist and feel a bond towards him because of this. I would be worried about maybe being too attached like it seems as if you might be, thinking about your sessions obsessively. I don't think that's abnormal though, it's as if you feel this person is rescuing you, which in a way is what therapists do. But be aware that the ways he's helping you are a skill that he's trained in and through therapy the therapist is teaching the client those skills. If you feel that you're getting too attached and it's going to get worse, maybe you should try to see someone else. If he asks you back for another session, I don't think it would hurt to discuss some of your feelings such as you feel inadequate compared to other clients, I remember my therapist telling me that it's a very common feeling when you're going through therapy, to feel undeserving. I do think you're getting a bit too attached, but I think it's normal, I think I would do too, at least you're aware of it.


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## ahita (Oct 14, 2012)

Thanks Delicate for your answer, i tmade me feel a little better 

I cancelled all sessions, over the phone(impulse). Then he sent me an email:
Hi ******, 

I got you telephone message about cancelling further appointments. Of course, you don't need to come in to explain what has happened, but it would be good if you came in at least once more so that we could tie up the loose ends. 

You still have an appointment for Tuesday morning at 9:30, and I will hold it for you unless you indicate that you can't make it. If you can't , please let us find another time . 

Regards, 
*******

Does it sound like i should tell him about this situation or should i just not tell him anything since it could quite possibly be the last session ??


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## ahita (Oct 14, 2012)

Thanks, I did just that, and it didn't go as bad as i expected. It's nice to have told him,instead of having it bother me and getting in the way
he was understanding about it too


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## Temujin (Sep 3, 2012)

That was pretty impressive to have gone and sorted it out now, good for you (I wouldn't have been able to act so maturely), but make sure you see a new one. No need to give in, and next time you will probably be aware of this, so it won't happen.


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## GotAnxiety (Oct 14, 2011)

Sex is good therapy.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

my therapist is an idiot for thinking I was sexually attracted to her, she said this out loud that she would find it strange if I was, we were talking about a girl I was attracted to in the past, but this therapist is not my type, that was months ago, 1 year of therapy completed in September, now I just started phone therapy with a new therapist, you should go back and tell him the truth


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