# Do you ever feel like you're not good enough for anybody?



## JustWakeUp

I'm starting to get that feeling more and more. I'm probably just feeling sorry for myself. :sigh

Still, can't hurt to ask.


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## sas111

Yes...& this is why I don't date. =]


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## Wirt

always


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## JustWakeUp

But, why no one is perfect! I can't seem to get that through my head. :bash


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## Steve123

I have this odd feeling like anyone I'd have any interest in would almost by definition be out of my league.


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## andy1984

I'm worth it, but no one is willing to spend a month or so in a lot of awkward silence to let me get comfortable with them.


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## heroin

Yeah. I have a serious inferiority complex.

Also, it's very rare that I think that I may be compatible with someone's personality.


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## Fantas Eyes

I wonder why anybody would want to date me.


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## whiterabbit

Yes. I'm not.


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## RyanAdams

All the time.


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## JustWakeUp

I think my big problem is, every time I meet a girl, they show some interest but then quickly lose it. Like a in a few days! :cry

After they show interest, I start crushing but then feel really stupid and hurt after don't. Do that enough times and you start to feel like your not good enough.


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## Witchcraft

Sometimes I think I am not good enough for anybody. Other times I think nobody is good enough for me. fml?


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## JustWakeUp

Ragana said:


> Sometimes I think I am not good enough for anybody. Other times I think nobody is good enough for me. fml?


That's interesting! I never thought of it that way.


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## itswhatever

Yes, i happen to have very low self esteem. It's actually so bad that i don't like compliments and feel like people are lying.


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## Brightpaperwarewolf

There's feeling you are good enough and actually not being good enough. I'm the latter. This past weekend, my best friend's girlfriend said I was crazy in a conversation my friend happened to put on speaker. The dinger is she's a psychology major. But I'm assuming it's nothing that someone other woman couldn't see. I'm kinda pissed at her for saying it, but I'm more upset at myself. That being the way I am, all people think is I'm nuts. It's pretty disheartening. I already knew that I am a little off, but when she said it, it was the icing on the cake. I don't have a chance to find companionship.


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## MojoCrunch

All the time. A little smidgen of confidence is there, but it gets destroyed pretty fast. But yeah, I feel like I'm out of everybody's league. I have difficulty taking compliments as well and usually think people are lying or making fun of me.


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## Steeloscar

itswhatever said:


> Yes, i happen to have very low self esteem. It's actually so bad that i don't like compliments and feel like people are lying.


I'm the exact same way. If someone gives me a compliment (which rarely happens) the first thought I have is "what in the world is wrong with them."

I also think that since I'm not happy with myself that no one is going to put up with all of my problems long enough to get to know who I really am. And underneath it all I actually like who I am, it's just so hard to let him out.


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## JustWakeUp

Steeloscar said:


> I'm the exact same way. If someone gives me a compliment (which rarely happens) the first thought I have is "what in the world is wrong with them."
> 
> I also think that since I'm not happy with myself that no one is going to put up with all of my problems long enough to get to know who I really am. And underneath it all I actually like who I am, it's just so hard to let him out.


I know it can be hard to except compliments, but your a pretty smart guy!

I came across this *site* while researching the subject. Yes, the whole thing sounds stupid and silly, but it's worth a try. Stay cool Steel!



MojoCrunch said:


> All the time. A little smidgen of confidence is there, but it gets destroyed pretty fast. But yeah, I feel like I'm out of everybody's league. I have difficulty taking compliments as well and usually think people are lying or making fun of me.


Girl, you should have a lot more confidence in yourself then you have. Just from reading your about page, you sound like a very interesting woman! 

Why, do you feel you are out of everybody's league? (Don't answer that unless you're are comfortable doing so.)
 


Brightpaperwarewolf said:


> There's feeling you are good enough and actually not being good enough. I'm the latter. This past weekend, my best friend's girlfriend said I was crazy in a conversation my friend happened to put on speaker. The dinger is she's a psychology major. But I'm assuming it's nothing that someone other woman couldn't see. I'm kinda pissed at her for saying it, but I'm more upset at myself. That being the way I am, all people think is I'm nuts. It's pretty disheartening. I already knew that I am a little off, but when she said it, it was the icing on the cake. I don't have a chance to find companionship.


That's just a crappy situation and not on your part! First of all the lady should have shown some form of professionalism, or at lease acted like decent human being. Calling yourself "a little off" doesn't really mean anything and shouldn't get you down. We are all a little crazy. 

I strongly believe there is still a chance of meeting that special someone, for you and me both!



itswhatever said:


> Yes, i happen to have very low self esteem. It's actually so bad that i don't like compliments and feel like people are lying.


If I remember correctly in one for your posts you said, You felt uncomfortable around girls unless they talked to you first. Dude, you got to know that girls are checking you out if there approaching you. There's something to feel great about right there! :yes

You, could go try complimenting some girls after they start talking to you.



justlistening said:


> I know I wouldn't be a good enough boyfriend. I would have to find someone who's rather just looking for a companion in life. My willingly physical presence is about the only thing I have to offer.


Come on, Just! I know, you got more to offer then just your presence. You got knowledge, love, ideas, protection, opinions to offer, all that plus sum! Dude, you ain't some 90 year old man after all!

Just I wish you all the best! Remember to give yourself some credit you deserve it.

All of you have a lot to offer and deserve that special someone, your all great people! :yes


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## Wirt

itswhatever said:


> Yes, i happen to have very low self esteem. It's actually so bad that i don't like compliments and feel like people are lying.


for me, its not that I feel that theyre lying..its that compliments are like drops in a bucket of negatives. If someone says one good thing and one bad thing about me, I'll put way more weight on the negative and dwell on it and probably overlook the good thing


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## MsMusic

itswhatever said:


> Yes, i happen to have very low self esteem. It's actually so bad that i don't like compliments and feel like people are lying.


Same here


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## FireSoks

Ragana said:


> Sometimes I think I am not good enough for anybody. Other times I think nobody is good enough for me. fml?


I second that. Not that others show interest..just that wacky bout of confidence that springs along every so often. :|


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## jagmusic

Y'all should read this thread
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f34/long-lasting-confidence-119960/#post1058919086
Stop the Self-Pity


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## Scrub-Zero

I'm not good enough, im sure. But whatever.


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## cafune

Sometimes, I feel as though I need to become a better person for them. Or that I need to accommodate for their preferences, or that I should change my opinion of something for them (in line with theirs). But you should _never_ change who you are for someone else. No one is worth the loss of your identity.


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## JustWakeUp

Live Laugh Love said:


> Sometimes, I feel as though I need to become a better person for them. Or that I need to accommodate for their preferences, or that I should change my opinion of something for them (in line with theirs). But you should _never_ change who you are for someone else. No one is worth the loss of your identity.


That's been my thought all along! I know it's wrong but I can't help but feel that it's the only way for me.


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## lanzman

Actually, in most ways I feel I'm good enough. My main problem is - I don't trust anyone.


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## shynesshellasucks

Yup, unless I settle with a girl I'm not really physically attracted to, I don't see myself being attractive to girls I actually want. Being physically unattractive+having SA is a gigantic disadvantage in terms of attracting women.


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## DeeperUnderstanding

Vanilllabb said:


> Yes...& this is why I don't date. =]


Exactly.

Although I do feel like a loser for not having dated at 28.


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## thisisnotfrancais1212

Yep. Everyday. Sometimes I think my brain is just a toxic waste dump where every negative thought a human could ever have just festers...


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## DJXTRA74A

*Hi*

yes i feel like that all the time is why i take valium to try and make things a little better but im young had loads of girlfriends but i look in the mirror and dont like what i see!


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## mysterioussoul

yes. i'm usually content and fine with myself when i don't think about relationships but when i do and about the girl that i'm attracted to i'd start to doubt myself and feel like a complete failure and undeserving.

i'm down on myself now because i was recently around this girl that i find attractive and now i feel stupid and i don't even like her that much. when i think of myself being with her i cringe and feel sick because i feel unworthy.


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## Monroee

I feel like I'm capable of attracting someone for the fact that I'm not hideous looking, but I feel like my personality won't be able to keep them.


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## leave me alone

Or isnt it, that nobody is good enough for you?


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## TPower

I think I'm attractive, smart, and worth one's time, but I don't think other people feel that way about me.


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## estse

Yes. I'm a complete and utter loser with no desirable qualities.


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## laura024

I really am not good enough for anyone, as I'm too much of a hermit to maintain a relationship. I get fed up with people so fast.


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## bsd3355

andy1984 said:


> I'm worth it, but no one is willing to spend a month or so in a lot of awkward silence to let me get comfortable with them.


Ditto.


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## Stormclouds

Yes, I always feel like I'm not good enough for my boyfriend, that he's going to realize one day that I'm a total ****-up, that I'm ugly, that I'm undeserving of his affection. It's like waiting for the guillotine to drop on my neck.


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## stranger25

Yes, and I know I'm not because of the vibes I am getting from society. You see society has it's ways of exclusively weeding out certain males who are lacking in certain parts of their life like stats or looks. It basically comes down to not being able to compete so why bother. Why bother crushing that last bit of self-esteem you had or getting an official awareness that the female species wants nothing to do with you, is simply turned off, angered, and cold when around you. Add in feminism, stigmas, social issues, hollywood, the media, gender roles, human nature, and you realize you're just doomd to the lifelong singledom against your will.


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## Heather24

I think when you have low self esteem, its hard to accept any positives about yourself. If someone says my hair looks nice for example, i'll think theyve mentioned it because it looks awful, then rush of to try and sort it and then spend ages worrying about it! I know im not rational sometimes but im constantly worrying. Is good to know im not the only one feeling this way x


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## 01001000 01010100 0101000

No, I feel like I'm better then everyone.


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## Harpuia

[deleted]


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## snaps

Absolutely. I feel it every time I meet someone. I feel it every time I go to a club or bar with my friends. I have no gf (only had 1.5 r/ls in the past. both failed), no awesome career, physically im fit cause i go to the gym but I know I'm ugly (plus being ethnic i feel even more inferior physically), and im not particularly good at one thing. 

sorry, in short, yes i do. can't see what anyone would see in me and i also hate compliments cause i KNOW they're lying.


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## SAgirl

This doesn't matter since after 18 months my interest begins to disappear. I know that everyone is better than me.


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## hitthelights

Always. My friends are the ones who guys love and me... not so much.


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## IcemanKilmer

I got a huge wake up call on how I'm not good enough for many women when I had a 90%+ mass of women ignoring my messages on OKCupid.


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## Chris16

I feel undeserving not in the sense that I see women as superior people, but I do feel undeserving in the sense that I would probably be unable to do all of the things boyfriends are supposed to do. I actually dream of just developing an intimate relationship with a girl without either of us ever coming and saying we're together. I always feel like that would relieve the stress of trying to fit into this mold that I know absolutely nothing about.


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## trendyfool

Nah, I deserve to have someone I love and care about. But at the same time I sometimes worry I'll ever be able to find someone like that--someone who I'm not just settling for, but who actually has a good personality and looks.


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## SAgirl

Iceman Kilmer 
U must be joking dude. I would love to see your 
Profile. Do you have the same interests? 
What r u messaging these girls?


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## dave twothree

Thinking rationally, I'm a good person so I think I'm good enough for someone. Of course when I find someone I'm particularly attracted to, I have great trouble conveying the message due to a nice mixture of depression and anxiety.


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## AK32

Yes, I think that's why I've never had a real relationship.


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## IcemanKilmer

SAgirl said:


> Iceman Kilmer
> U must be joking dude. I would love to see your
> Profile. Do you have the same interests?
> What r u messaging these girls?


I was trying to show interest in what they were interested in. I was asking questions about the things I saw on their profile.

I don't care who sees my profile. My name on there is CallahanClint. Feel free to view it if you'd like. Anyone else can do so too. Maybe you can tell me what is so bad about my profile besides me being broke financially.


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## stranger25

IcemanKilmer said:


> I was trying to show interest in what they were interested in. I was asking questions about the things I saw on their profile.
> 
> I don't care who sees my profile. My name on there is CallahanClint. Feel free to view it if you'd like. Anyone else can do so too. Maybe you can tell me what is so bad about my profile besides me being broke financially.


Well, you're profile sure isn't empty or vague or anything. Is that your real picture?


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## FadeToOne

Its not that I'm not good enough, it's that I feel like I'm from another planet. It's most probably never going to happen.


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## IcemanKilmer

stranger25 said:


> Well, you're profile sure isn't empty or vague or anything. Is that your real picture?


Lol, yeah that's my real picture.


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## Tristeza

Yes


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## mcmuffinme

it seems apparent.


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## watashi

Sometimes I really do. But if I allowed myself to think like that all the time, I'd never get a single date.


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## IsThereAComputerOption

I don't see the point, there so much competition and I'm pretty much bottom of the barrel material so it's just a waste of time.


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## iAmCodeMonkey

Steve123 said:


> I have this odd feeling like anyone I'd have any interest in would almost by definition be out of my league.


Me too.


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## melissa75

Yes. This is a constant problem for me and not just in dating. I don't feel like I'm good enough for friends, and I also don't feel that I'm good enough for my job. The good thing about the latter is that I push myself to do my best no matter what. I'm terrified of being laid off because I've somehow misrepresented myself as being qualified (a fear I'm dealing with currently). With relationships, I tend to focus on my past mistakes and how I'm just not deserving...the other person deserves so much better.


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## melissa75

joinmartin said:


> Two questions:
> 
> What happens when you imagine feeling really good about yourself right not?
> 
> and
> 
> What would have to happen for you to feel good enough?


When I start to feel happy, I think that I shouldn't be happy, and start to have negative thoughts. I know this is wrong...

To answer the second question, I don't think anything can make me feel good enough unless I was able to just forget the past.

I know everyone makes mistakes...and, I should just learn from them and move on. But, I just haven't been able to.


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## odd_one_out

Yeah, right now.


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## odd_one_out

melissa75 said:


> I'm terrified of being laid off because I've somehow misrepresented myself as being qualified (a fear I'm dealing with currently).


You appear similar to me. I have what's unofficially known as imposter syndrome where I feel like I'm not good enough at anything, making it feel like I'm faking competence or that people are mistaken in hiring me.


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## Harpuia

melissa75 said:


> Yes. This is a constant problem for me and not just in dating. I don't feel like I'm good enough for friends, and I also don't feel that I'm good enough for my job. The good thing about the latter is that I push myself to do my best no matter what. I'm terrified of being laid off because I've somehow misrepresented myself as being qualified (a fear I'm dealing with currently). With relationships, I tend to focus on my past mistakes and how I'm just not deserving...the other person deserves so much better.


^^^ This.

My girlfriend could do WAAAAAY better than me. Why waste your time with somebody with no talents, no skills, and someone not even his mother would love when you are more than capable of dating a real pick.


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## heroin

odd_one_out said:


> You seem very similar to me. I have what's unofficially known as imposter syndrome where I feel like I'm not good enough at anything, making it feel like I'm faking competence or that people are mistaken in hiring me.


I have the opposite problem. I know I am good enough to do my job, but I just don't have the motivation. That's probably because of the depression. It feels like I can do the job if I only concentrated on it better, but I just can't. I feel tired. And old.


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## RUFB2327

Yes, unfortunately I do feel this way. I mainly feel this way when it comes to relationships. I try to think of positive qualities I have, but I just don't feel I have any, where the person would not be settling for me. It's a ****ty way to think about yourself, but my past experiences do not help me feel differently.


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## MsMusic

All the time


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## odd_one_out

I feel like it gets worse with experience. I don't remember thinking much, if anything, about it in my early 20s. Over time, damage accumulates. I attracted people with their own mental issues who proceeded to cause harm like their parents or ex's (or whatever) did through disrespect, neglect, being shut down, or fickleness. It's damaging to commit to them because their behaviours and feelings towards you are inconsistent, a breeding ground for insecurity. 

Once stung a few times your brain learns the signs and becomes hyperaware to the smallest sign their feelings are diminishing, and the old pain stirs. You contain it, but it seeps out. Your capacity for trusting others has been compromised. If I were to sum up relationships it would be to say they're the mental equivalent of being physically stung. Excruciating emotional pain.


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## tutliputli

Yeah, 'not good enough' pretty much sums up how I feel about myself most of the time. Not interesting enough, not talkative enough, not attractive enough, not intelligent enough... I realise a lot of this is a result of the fact that I'm an extreme perfectionist. I also feel I'm perceived as being incompetent at any job I do. I really need to work on my self-esteem, it's my biggest issue.


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## bsd3355

Idk, I think feeling like your not good enough at times is normal. I do a lot, and often it is the truth I find.


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## JFmtl

I often feel like that. and I have yet to be proven wrong about it.


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## Monroee

joinmartin: I just wanted to say, thank you so much for spending your time & expertise on this forum. I know I don't always respond to your posts but I never feel that I have to. I appreciate them & they always make me think.


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## jet10

yeah


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## kev

Yeah, I do feel that way. I'm boring, I'm poor, I don't like to go out.

It's not that I'm not good enough per se, it's more like "who would actually want to date me?" 

My best friend is a really good guy, but he is similar to me - he has a very hard time with women. I think he will find someone because he is a go-getter and he is willing to put the effort in to meeting people. 

Dating world is rough.


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## diamondheart89

Right now. No one wants to put up with me for too long. Apparently, I have the ability to send men running without even meeting them.


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## ForeverStallone

Every friggin day, even the days where I feel awesome, deep down I know I'm not.


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## Trooper

Yes, I feel this way, But i am coming to terms with it, And trying to brush it off as me being silly, But i still think i am waaaayyyy boring. I see the glaze form over their eyes most of the time when talking to someone, This is not good, I seriously need to sort this out. But i have done sod all with my life because of this Fu*king SA sh*t,  So have sod all interesting to talk about b ecause of this.

Sh*t, How are you suppose to make friends or start a relationship if you are the most boring thing on the planet. ARGH!!!

Trooper


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## Trooper

Hi joinmartin,

Thanks for picking through my post, It was quite an enlightening response. 

Ok, Firstly, I know i am boring, Because i have been told that to my face by quite a few people.

Secondly, I can relate to their point of view, Mainly because i am always too detailed in my explanation of pretty much anything. 

I don't know how to condense things down (verbally) to small and manageable details (for the receiver), Though i have tried, But feel i am not giving then the full story (withholding information if you will). So my conversations (from my side) tend to be VERY long winded, Too detailed, And even nauseous for the poor receiver.

I have actually had people hang-up on me during phone calls, Literally just cut off without a word of warning, Just cut dead. I have had people (while speaking face to face) cut me off mid sentence to ask me what i am on about, Or to get to the point.  which only serves to cause me frustration and anxiety or question self worth, Sometimes thinking 'whats the bloody point'.

Trooper


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## DeeperUnderstanding

Trooper, that sounds more like Aspergers than SA. Have you been tested?


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## Ape in space

Trooper said:


> Secondly, I can relate to their point of view, Mainly because i am always too detailed in my explanation of pretty much anything.
> 
> I don't know how to condense things down (verbally) to small and manageable details (for the receiver), Though i have tried, But feel i am not giving then the full story (withholding information if you will). So my conversations (from my side) tend to be VERY long winded, Too detailed, And even nauseous for the poor receiver.
> 
> I have actually had people hang-up on me during phone calls, Literally just cut off without a word of warning, Just cut dead. I have had people (while speaking face to face) cut me off mid sentence to ask me what i am on about, Or to get to the point.  which only serves to cause me frustration and anxiety or question self worth, Sometimes thinking 'whats the bloody point'.
> 
> Trooper


That is exactly how it is for me too. If I'm writing something and I have time to think about it, I'm good at conveying the essence without too much detail, but when it comes to talking to someone, it's a totally different story. I just can't put together a short, coherent story on the spot. So what ends up happening is, I blurt out one part of the story, a detail pops into my head, and because I need to keep the conversation flowing at all costs, I just tell the detail even if it's unnecessary. So it takes me a long time to get to the point, and on top of that, people are usually impatient and don't like to listen to anyone for any significant period of time, so they always interrupt me and try to get me to explain the entire story in a single sentence. I find this to be one of the most stressful situations I have experienced. This is especially excruciating when people ask me to explain what I'm working on.


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## Ape in space

As for the original thread, I don't think I'm not good enough; in fact, I think people would really like me if they got to know me. The problem is that socializing is so stressful and I'm too afraid to talk to anyone, so they never get to know me well enough that they could see what I have to offer.

I guess you could say that I feel inferior, but only in regard to the 'social ladder'. I see myself as being at the very bottom of the ladder. Luckily I don't base my self-worth on my social position, and so I don't usually have thoughts that I'm not good enough, since I have other things that I'm good at. But when it comes to socializing, I have absolutely no confidence, and after a failed social encounter I will sometimes start thinking I suck, I fail at life, no one wants me, I'm at the bottom of society, etc.


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## arpeggiator

I feel I'm not good enough for a relationship. Although I consider myself to be a decent person, my flaws mask all the good qualities I have. It's my fault. I could be the best person in the world, but if I don't let anyone get close enough to see it, it's like I didn't have anything to offer. Communication problems are the cause of my loneliness.


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## KennethJones

lonely badger said:


> I'm starting to get that feeling more and more. I'm probably just feeling sorry for myself. :sigh
> 
> Still, can't hurt to ask.


Well for me its not only becoming an issue of feeling it but I am starting to KNOW it now. Its one of the most difficult things that i am dealing with right now. I am coming to realization that I am not good enough to for anyone; i am trash, garbage, waste. I know that sounds like an exaggeration but its true. My social skills are shot to hell and i look god-awful. I look in the mirror and can't see how anyone would be attracted to me.

Women are basically uncomfortable around me. I know that i scare most women in my age range and some of them may even dislike me. The most difficult thing about it is that i don't even talk to women or approach them but the stares they give me tell me all i need to know. Ive looked at women before only to have them drop their heads to the ground with a sad face as if my presence ruined their mood. Some would say that this is all in my head but ive been dealing with this all my life so i think i have a good grasp on what is happening.

At the end of the day i know a great deal of this has to be about my looks. But i am poor and can't afford all of the plastic surgery procedures that would make me at least presentable. So im basically screwed.


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## leave me alone

I am not good enough, there is no way around it. It is a fact.


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## makavelithedon

Constantly...... (sighs)


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## Paragon

Not that i'm not good enough exactly, more like there are other, better people out there so why would anyone choose me? I find it easy to pick up on my flaws and difficult to notice the positives. If i think about talking to a girl i just think 1) she's probably not going to be attracted to me and 2) why bother 'cos another, better guy will likely come along soon anyhow... and so i don't even bother to try. Self sabotage. Thinking too much is the problem, i should just do and see what happens, no thinking, but my stupid brain seems incapable of letting go.


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## NotMyCupOTea

no. i feel hopeless. all of my past experiences have been very bad and i always get used. im tired of it.


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## au Lait

My biggest fear is that the closer people get to me, the more they will get bored with me or start to dislike me.

I just don't feel as though I'm special, exciting, or interesting enough to keep anyone's attention for long.

Feels bad man.


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## blank_mind

I have ridiculously low self esteem, so yes, I honestly feel like I’m not worthy of anyone’s time. Whenever I meet a girl who I click with and get on with well, my mind just becomes filled with thoughts of how unworthy of her I would be. Even if she shows interest in me (though I am crap at picking up signals) I worry about being rejected and humiliated by her if I was to ask her out, ask for her number, etc… So I end up becoming slowly infatuated with them the more I speak to them, whilst at the same time feeling frustrated and depressed with the thought that she is way out of my league. And it seems to happen over and over again, which just reinforces my view of how pathetic I really am. It’s just an impossible task to look at things from a logical/rational view. 

I feel like if I was to ever (somehow) end up in a relationship, I’d just bore them. I feel like I have a shield I put up whenever I’m around people, which I feel hides the person I really am. In my head I know I could be funny, talkative, insightful, intelligent, but something always stops me from fully relaxing and being myself around others. And I feel that even in a relationship, where I would want to be 100% honest, open, and myself, I wouldn’t be able to do that. I also feel so weak, timid, unconfident, un-masculine whenever I’m in the presence of other people that I think I instantly put most girls off me within seconds of meeting them. 

It’s not just relationships I feel this way about either. I find it difficult to make close friends because of how lowly I view myself. I hardly ever make first contact with people, and I never try to arrange any kind of social event. I have had past experiences where I’ve tried to arrange a night out or a party, only to feel bad when I get very little interest off people I thought were my friends. I always feel so unworthy of other peoples time that I hardly ever text people anymore, and only go out with friends if I’m invited somewhere by them (which seems to happen less and less as time goes on). I’m also afraid of confiding in other people, and so always keep a lot of things to myself. I might feel depressed on the inside, but will come across as completely normal to a friend. Conversely, if I feel really happy about something, I’m afraid of fully expressing how I feel out of a fear of being humiliated/laughed at by other people. I guess I just care far too much over what people think of me. I tell myself over and over again to stop caring what people think of me, but it never seems to get any easier. 

I sometimes wonder if the way I feel is due to my SA, or is due to a far more deep seated problem, that I may never be able to fully overcome. 

(BTW sorry for the long post, got a bit carried away there!)


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## caflme

Yes, but I push through it each time it rears it's ugly head because I know it's a false thought/feeling. I can't let those get hold of me or it drags me so far down I can't pull out of it.


----------



## james22

i always feel like im not good enough for anything. i think my girlfriend must be crazier then me just for being with me and i think the only reason im alive is because i know not being here would hurt my family more then being here, but i have no idea why i honestly think if i wasnt around it would make everyones life easier but cant bring myself to hurt everyone especially my mom i think she would be hurt the most and i dont want to hurt her but i feel my life is a waste with no future. i try to be the best person i can be everyday and try my hardest to be happy and get through the day and rarely succeed. i feel like i live for everybody else and not myself!


----------



## Selbbin

I'm not good enough for anyone, but that isn't based on a pessimistic attitude, simply a reality.

I've been in relationships and always felt they could do better. And they have. 3 ex's got married to the guy they saw after me. Most girls who go out with me are disappointed.

To be honest, I don't mind, because I don't blame anyone. I'm not really the kind of guy anyone should fall in love with because I'm certain to be a disappointment. And we all want to be happy.


----------



## caflme

I dated a guy who felt he wasn't good enough to be in a relationship with anyone - or have anyone.

He was so convinced that he went about trying to convince everyone - including me... how unworthy he was.

It took him awhile... when he realized it wouldn't work with me then he changed tactics and started convincing me that I wasn't worth having anyone either, that I was obviously too screwed up for having him in my life... and that I was equally unworthy and damaged... 

... that's when he finally succeeded in destroying things between us.


----------



## james22

i think she deserves the best of everything i couldnt have found a nicer more understanding accepting person i just feel sorry for her for having to deal with me and my problems i feel like she deserves so much better and as much as i want to give her better and i do the best i can is just not good enough not for her but for me i cant give her everything she deserves no matter how hard i try


----------



## Bbpuff

Yup.. I feel like I'm not good enough for anybody.. I feel like I'm just one big bag of blahh.. x( My self esteem is terribly low aswell. And compliments just make me feel uneasy, I have no idea how to respond to them.. They just make me feel uncomfortable ):


----------



## Hello22

Ya i kinda know i'll never marry, etc, all the things i wanted to do.
But i keep trying to kid myself that i will, but the reality is alot different than my aspirations


----------



## shadowmask

Yes, but I feel more anger over the fact rather than self-loathe. I actually like myself, most aspects of myself anyway, but years of rejection and neglect have taught me that very few share the sentiment.


----------



## nmpennea

I have, but it isn't true. Also, i did and still do to an extent, think I deserve to be treated badly. My past relationships prove that. The thing is when you have trouble talking to people it can be hard to talk to anyone. So when someone makes the effort it makes it seem like it could be a good thing, but it isn't always.


----------



## cetialphafive

lonely badger said:


> I'm starting to get that feeling more and more. I'm probably just feeling sorry for myself. :sigh
> 
> Still, can't hurt to ask.


Recently registered on a dating site and despite having a profile pic and biog info, my profile has been viewed fewer times than people with no pics and hardly any details. That's enough to make anyone feel low! Really makes you think: "Wow. I must be gross".


----------



## Genetic Garbage

All the time. I feel inferior to everybody. A child kept looking into my eyes before and I was the one who broke eye contact first because I felt uncomfortable :roll


----------



## Lyndzro

yes! I have been speaking to a guy online for a few weeks, we started texting today and i think he wants to meet for a meal, but i am so scared he will be disappointed when he sees me. There are pics of me on my profile, but I dont know. I just have this dread he will be disappointed


----------



## insidesonice

Yes. I have had a boyfriend for almost five months now, and I _still_ get very frequent bouts of low self-esteem that make me want to leave him--I feel like he deserves so much better, he's just wasting his time with me, when he could find a girl who's much more confident/attractive/fun to be around. I seriously think there's something wrong with him whenever he tells me he enjoys my company, since I always act so quiet, boring and underwhelming when I'm around him. Every day I ask myself why he hasn't dumped me yet, and sometimes I almost wish he did, so that I could put an end to this mental exhaustion brought by the vicious cycle of SA/low self-esteem.


----------



## the talking one

Wow, all of you guys are exactly like me. And I really mean it, exactly like me, it even feels creepy  

I do feel like I'm not good enough, and truth be told, I really am. What's even worse for me, my partner has noticed it :teeth 

How can such a nice person be so cruel, or perhaps it's all just in my head, stupid paranoia.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

I have felt this way before, but I'm trying to not feel this way anymore. It doesn't help.


----------



## heroin

Amazingly, I have never felt like this. Even after having been single forever.


----------



## IcemanKilmer

Of course I'm good enough for some ladies out there. 

The problem I've had my entire life is never being able to meet them or show my true self.


----------



## dustbunnies

Yes but it's mostly because I have high expectations too. I'd rather to never be in a relationship than to settle.


----------



## percyblueraincoat

IcemanKilmer said:


> Of course I'm good enough for some ladies out there.
> 
> The problem I've had my entire life is never being able to meet them or show my true self.


Why can't you show them your true self?

What stops you?

On another thread, you say that the guy with no arms and no legs has social confidence, you don't and that somehow means bad things.

For the record, the guy cried himself to sleep regularly and didn't just turn up with social confidence. He developed it.

If you need social confidence or think you need it, go and develop it. Not saying it's easy but you clearly have enough confidence to say you're good enough for some women. So, why not good enough to go out and develop some social confidence or why not good enough to go talk to some girls?


----------



## Raulz0r

I used to think that I am not good enough, until I said to myself, why on blue earth am I not feeling worthy? We are both human beings, we both need each other, so why on earth am I not worthy for her? It's either me or a dildo, and she can't talk to a dildo.


----------



## GunnyHighway

Raulz0r said:


> It's either me or a dildo, and she can't talk to a dildo.


She most definitely can, but at that point I think she needs help. :blank:b

It's irrational to feel this way, but sometimes I can't help it. Having no friends, no special someone, it's hard to feel "equal".


----------



## Raulz0r

too be fair, if you manage to find that someone, and she/he has friends, and if you start going with her/him and his/hers friends out after a few times, you actually have made some friends by alliance which is cool when you have a long term relationship, because after a good while you can actually go out with them


----------



## IcemanKilmer

joinmartin said:


> What stops you?


Because I don't like going out, and I don't like talking to strangers. I'm not comfortable around people, even people that I know.

I left my group of friends because I got sick of being around them. I got bored mostly, and I got sick of always being uncomfortable. I'm more comfortable alone than around people.


----------



## rednet

Half the time I feel like I'm not, the other half I feel like I am. I'm deluding myself half the time, but I don't know which half.
I tell myself I'm a good person, I'm smart, I can be sweet and romantic and there are heaps of reasons why I could be considered attractive. But so far no one's expressed any attraction for me, despite my attempts to put myself out there, so I can never shake that self-doubt. Is there something I can't see? I'm trying to improve but each time it just hurts more...


----------



## MoniqueS

I do wonder if I'm really capable of making someone else happy. I have the fear of the other person getting bored with me and leaving. It seems crazy that someone would actually want to be with me and put up with all of my issues. But as I'm making progress with overcoming these issues I'm slowly feeling like I do have things to offer. But I'm still not going to even consider a relationship until I feel much more secure and healthy with myself.


----------



## Raulz0r

Well if it makes you feel better, you seem to be beautiful enough to not feel inferior no matter on with who you would be


----------



## Rivermark

MoniqueS said:


> I do wonder if I'm really capable of making someone else happy. I have the fear of the other person getting bored with me and leaving. It seems crazy that someone would actually want to be with me and put up with all of my issues. But as I'm making progress with overcoming these issues I'm slowly feeling like I do have things to offer. But I'm still not going to even consider a relationship until I feel much more secure and healthy with myself.


This.


----------



## phoenixwright

Raulz0r said:


> Well if it makes you feel better, you seem to be beautiful enough to not feel inferior no matter on with who you would be


She wants to be valued for something more than her looks though. I've chatted with her in the past. She's not boring.

I understand the concerns though. I find it really difficult to open up to people and let them in because I'm afraid that they would negatively judge me and think I'm boring. As a result, I get awfully quiet or evasive when people ask questions about myself.


----------



## leave me alone

I really do feel like I am no good for anybody. I mean, with all my issues... I would be a burden.


----------



## Raulz0r

I think most of us, lack a little validation from the people around us, if you receive even a little bit of validation, and you truly feel they are sincere and not just saying that, then your confidence will receive a big boost.


----------



## Ape in space

If I'm not good enough for anybody, it's because they have stupid standards. It's not my fault.


----------



## JGreenwood

I feel like this all of the time, and my wife cheating on me pretty much confirms this.


----------



## gaz

I do not feel good enough for sure. Some women will lie and say they are not shallow and such but that's a load of crap. When your face, personality, and balance does not fit you are f'd!


----------



## Elleire

I try to avoid feeling it because feeling it is useless, but whether or not I do [feel it], the fact of it will still stand; I'm not a good person, period, nevermind FOR someone else. But if it's a headache, wasted time, or the impetus to repeatedly smash your head against a brick wall you're wanting, I'm your girl.

I know how narcissistic this sounds, to think I'm important enough to even be capable of affecting someone at all (even if that's badly), or that I might be doing someone a "favor" by sparing them of my association... as if I'm so significant. :roll

That's kind of the point, though. For lack of anything good at all, and for the presence of the bad stuff, it means I'm actively bad for other people, even if I shouldn't be significant enough to affect them, as I wouldn't if I had even one good thing about me to temper the bad.


----------



## TheCynicalEye

phoelomek said:


> I try to avoid feeling it because feeling it is useless, but whether or not I do [feel it], the fact of it will still stand; I'm not a good person, period, nevermind FOR someone else. *But if it's a headache, wasted time, or the impetus to repeatedly smash your head against a brick wall you're wanting, I'm your girl. *
> 
> I know how narcissistic this sounds, to think I'm important enough to even be capable of affecting someone at all (even if that's badly), or that I might be doing someone a "favor" by sparing them of my association... as if I'm so significant. :roll
> 
> That's kind of the point, though. For lack of anything good at all, and for the presence of the bad stuff, it means I'm actively bad for other people, even if I shouldn't be significant enough to affect them, as I wouldn't if I had even one good thing about me to temper the bad.


You sound like you'd be really fun to hang out with. Not sarcasm -- serious.


----------



## Blawnka

I might as well be from another planet to girls.


----------



## Peter Attis

All the time.

But I feel the thing that keeps me going is trying to make myself into the person that COULD be good enough for somebody.


----------



## gomenne

gaz said:


> I do not feel good enough for sure. Some women will lie and say they are not shallow and such but that's a load of crap. When your face, personality, and balance does not fit you are f'd!


So not true, plus this formula gets applied on every human being not just females. Males are worse, they have no heart, and care less about ****.


----------



## con4cyn

I try not to feel this way when I'm in a relationship, but deep down I'm always afraid that I'll be "found out". It happens almost like a self-fullfilling prophecy. I'll act too needy. Disappear in the relationship, and only think about him or us. I hate myself when I'm with someone. I hate myself when I'm not, too, but I'd rather figure out why I do these things without causing my heart to break again.


----------



## NoName99

I have a serious lack of experience. What adult woman would want to date an almost 30-year-old child?


----------



## Dub16

see, this is one of the reasons I had to leave this site.

(apart from the bizarre new quoting thing. I'd never get the hang of that)

Look, threads like this are a killer for yer self esteem. Which is already fragile enough.

I'm not saying any of you should feel bad for what you have posted. Far from it.

And I'm also aware that Christmas is a horrible time to feel alone.
I get that too.

But I've just read through pages of lads and ladies who feel alone.

So it just shows that you aren't really alone. There is someone for everyone.

Not to sound like a cliche but you will fulfill yer own prophecy unless you do something about it.

And then you'll ask "what can i do about it?"

Well, everyone has varying degrees of S-Phobia.

Some of you will be amazed what you can achieve if you get away from yer laptops and actually force yourself to engage with people in public.

Others just can't do that. And thats ok too. But why cant you meet someone who's shy and has SA too?

If this site has proven anything, its proven that there are thousands upon thousands of us in the world.
So......... take heart from that. And take hope from that.

And I'm not trying to turn this place into a dating site, but people have even got married, formed relationships etc via this site.

Support groups etc...... 

At the end of the day, each of you is only one meaningful conversation away from talking to the right person.

It will happen. If you give it a chance.


----------



## Elleire

TheCynicalEye said:


> You sound like you'd be really fun to hang out with. Not sarcasm -- serious.


Either you've got a masochistic bent, or I wasn't harsh enough. Or I have no idea what fun means. Or something. :sus

:b


----------



## Visionary

I feel as if I'm not good enough for my boyfriend all the time. I even wonder what he likes about me...


----------



## phoenixwright

Dub16 said:


> see, this is one of the reasons I had to leave this site.
> 
> (apart from the bizarre new quoting thing. I'd never get the hang of that)
> 
> Look, threads like this are a killer for yer self esteem. Which is already fragile enough.
> 
> I'm not saying any of you should feel bad for what you have posted. Far from it.
> 
> And I'm also aware that Christmas is a horrible time to feel alone.
> I get that too.
> 
> But I've just read through pages of lads and ladies who feel alone.
> 
> So it just shows that you aren't really alone. There is someone for everyone.
> 
> Not to sound like a cliche but you will fulfill yer own prophecy unless you do something about it.
> 
> And then you'll ask "what can i do about it?"
> 
> Well, everyone has varying degrees of S-Phobia.
> 
> Some of you will be amazed what you can achieve if you get away from yer laptops and actually force yourself to engage with people in public.
> 
> Others just can't do that. And thats ok too. But why cant you meet someone who's shy and has SA too?
> 
> If this site has proven anything, its proven that there are thousands upon thousands of us in the world.
> So......... take heart from that. And take hope from that.
> 
> And I'm not trying to turn this place into a dating site, but people have even got married, formed relationships etc via this site.
> 
> Support groups etc......
> 
> At the end of the day, each of you is only one meaningful conversation away from talking to the right person.
> 
> It will happen. If you give it a chance.


+1. These type of threads can be very depressing and "trigger" you.

I had contributed some "humans suck, life sucks" posts like not even a week ago I'm sure so it's not like I'm not guilty of it at times. But the thing is once I get to the point where I think, "ok people suck, life sucks and I'll be forever alone (TM)", I ask myself, "now what?" Resign myself to loneliness forever?! What's the point of settling for unhappiness? To protect my pride? To protect my ego? Isn't your life worth swallowing your pride and checking your ego at the door for?

I have had a lot of meaningful conversation with the members on this site. Including one over the phone. I find that it's easier for me to open up to people who _understand_ and don't judge. I still have the ways to go. When I hang out with friends in public, I am very timid and shy because I get really anxious in public and carrying conversations in public. I sub-consciously talk softly and perhaps even sub-consciously have more trouble hearing the other person (is that even possible? It seems like in public, I am constantly asking the other person to repeat what they just said. I find that it's easier to carry a conversation with someone in a more private setting (like at someone's place or in the car with the person). Or it could be that my hearing has degraded over the years listening to music on my headphones. Or a combination of both).

I often tell myself that being social online doesn't count because it's not "real life" (discounting the positive. Of course being social online is just the first step. It shows you what you are capable of when you are comfortable. The next step is to translate that to the real world. To go beyond your comfort zone an get comfortable outside of it. To the point that this new uncharted territory becomes part of your comfort zone as well. You should always strive to expand your comfort zone. Think of it as expanding your empire in a video game. Or leveling up your character or improving your achievement points). But the person that I portray online IS the real me. It's the me that I don't have the courage to show in-person very often. And when I see myself blur the lines and translate the way I am online to the real world, I surprise myself at seeing what I'm capable of when I'm confident. It's like a "what the hell just happened?" "how did I do that?" moment. It's a sub-conscious process.

This is why I need to start trying CBT again. And I'm considering the possibility of taking anti-anxiety meds. I've been told that Buspar is good for getting you out of your head and cutting back on the internal chatter. I get really anxious with driving (I can afford a car, I've had my license for 5 years. But I keep on procrastinating on buying a car because driving scares me sometimes. I'm afraid of getting into a serious accident or driving up insurance rates due to accidents or getting my license suspended. My sister got T-boned when it was green for her and red for the other driver. She could have died. This is an awful fear to have. Because if I was more comfortable with driving, I'd feel like I'd have more freedom and be more able to do the things that I want to do), novel situations and also sex too so I have generalized anxiety in addition to social anxiety.


----------



## Colton

I only have two friends and they've both recently starting dating and kissing girls. We're seniors in high school. I'm the only one who's still had no intimate female contact and it does bum me out but I'm going to make a real effort in 2012 to be more social and find someone.


----------



## VivaEmptinessRoses

Yes, im already shunned because of my looks. Also, men tend to love those loud, obnoxious *****es. So that could be why. Also, i already dont connect with others personalities, so that could be why.


----------



## gaz

gomenne said:


> So not true, plus this formula gets applied on every human being not just females. Males are worse, they have no heart, and care less about ****.


I guess so, i'm sorry.


----------



## gomenne

gaz said:


> I guess so, i'm sorry.


Sorry for being harsh, didnt mean it :hug


----------



## gaz

gomenne said:


> Sorry for being harsh, didnt mean it :hug


No it was me that was being harsh. I guess i am feeling bitter because i am 30 years old and never had a girlfriend. I feel bitter because i can't ask women out.


----------



## con4cyn

phoenixwright said:


> +1. These type of threads can be very depressing and "trigger" you.
> 
> I had contributed some "humans suck, life sucks" posts like not even a week ago I'm sure so it's not like I'm not guilty of it at times. But the thing is once I get to the point where I think, "ok people suck, life sucks and I'll be forever alone (TM)", I ask myself, "now what?" Resign myself to loneliness forever?! What's the point of settling for unhappiness? To protect my pride? To protect my ego? Isn't your life worth swallowing your pride and checking your ego at the door for?
> 
> I have had a lot of meaningful conversation with the members on this site. Including one over the phone. I find that it's easier for me to open up to people who _understand_ and don't judge. I still have the ways to go. When I hang out with friends in public, I am very timid and shy because I get really anxious in public and carrying conversations in public. I sub-consciously talk softly and perhaps even sub-consciously have more trouble hearing the other person (is that even possible? It seems like in public, I am constantly asking the other person to repeat what they just said. I find that it's easier to carry a conversation with someone in a more private setting (like at someone's place or in the car with the person). Or it could be that my hearing has degraded over the years listening to music on my headphones. Or a combination of both).
> 
> I often tell myself that being social online doesn't count because it's not "real life" (discounting the positive. Of course being social online is just the first step. It shows you what you are capable of when you are comfortable. The next step is to translate that to the real world. To go beyond your comfort zone an get comfortable outside of it. To the point that this new uncharted territory becomes part of your comfort zone as well. You should always strive to expand your comfort zone. Think of it as expanding your empire in a video game. Or leveling up your character or improving your achievement points). But the person that I portray online IS the real me. It's the me that I don't have the courage to show in-person very often. And when I see myself blur the lines and translate the way I am online to the real world, I surprise myself at seeing what I'm capable of when I'm confident. It's like a "what the hell just happened?" "how did I do that?" moment. It's a sub-conscious process.
> 
> This is why I need to start trying CBT again. And I'm considering the possibility of taking anti-anxiety meds. I've been told that Buspar is good for getting you out of your head and cutting back on the internal chatter. I get really anxious with driving (I can afford a car, I've had my license for 5 years. But I keep on procrastinating on buying a car because driving scares me sometimes. I'm afraid of getting into a serious accident or driving up insurance rates due to accidents or getting my license suspended. My sister got T-boned when it was green for her and red for the other driver. She could have died. This is an awful fear to have. Because if I was more comfortable with driving, I'd feel like I'd have more freedom and be more able to do the things that I want to do), novel situations and also sex too so I have generalized anxiety in addition to social anxiety.


I've felt the same way reading some posts on this site. I never figured other people might have these thoughts. They're not the best thoughts to have, but at least I'm not alone in having them. It makes me braver to be around people, because you never know what they could be thinking.

I honestly didn't start driving until I was 21, because I was afraid. Now that my commute to work is 25 minutes via interstate My anxiety while driving has almost made me cry. Maybe I should look into meds, too. I'd also like to find a professional who specializes in CBT. I never stick with a therapist, because they always say something that hurts my feelings or that I don't agree with. I guess I need to keep looking.


----------



## Brad

In response to the title, yes, all the time, still do


----------



## Dissonance

Pretty much anyone, forever alone.


----------



## AK32

I feel that way all of the time.


----------



## mezzoforte

andy1984 said:


> I'm worth it, but no one is willing to spend a month or so in a lot of awkward silence to let me get comfortable with them.


Yep.


----------



## LOUDontheINSIDE

I feel like I'm good enough, but I don't think anyone else thinks I am....


----------



## andy1984

mezzoforte said:


> Yep.


wrong! someone is willing and she is beautiful


----------



## presence

i feel like i repel men. i have a hard time holding conversations and connecting/communicating with people, so maybe i'm too boring and insecure, i'm not sure, but i feel quite hopeless.


----------



## MobiusX

Blawnka said:


> I might as well be from another planet to girls.


No, your just Blanka. Bison turned you this way.


----------



## Cassabell

ShinAkuma said:


> No, your just Blanka. Bison turned you this way.


hahaha good one ShinAkuma :boogie


----------



## Myriana

VipFuj said:


> for me, its not that I feel that theyre lying..its that compliments are like drops in a bucket of negatives. If someone says one good thing and one bad thing about me, I'll put way more weight on the negative and dwell on it and probably overlook the good thing


I'm the exact same way, I dwell endlessly on the negatives, and don't take the positives seriously. I look at other people who take compliments in a very positive way. I have one friend who even ruminates on them and tells me about the compliments she's recieved. It used to kind of bother me that she didn't doubt any of the compliments people gave her, but now i think that her way is probably a healthier way to live.


----------



## Myriana

To more specifically respond to the title:

Yes. Sometimes an incredible guy will like me and I will never pnk tha pursue a relationship with him because I feel like he is way too good for me, and then I will regret it later. Sometimes I think that this is probably very selfish, because I am depriving this person of a relationship with someone he seems to like. I am on a journey to be less selfish which probably means to be less self depricating.


----------



## mzmz

*i like that thought*



Myriana said:


> To more specifically respond to the title:
> 
> Yes. Sometimes an incredible guy will like me and I will never pnk tha pursue a relationship with him because I feel like he is way too good for me, and then I will regret it later. Sometimes I think that this is probably very selfish, because I am depriving this person of a relationship with someone he seems to like. I am on a journey to be less selfish which probably means to be less self depricating.


the last couple years i've felt more like i was being selfish to wallow and my life and head has gotten alot better.

i'm still alone, but i feel more able to talk to people


----------



## TryingMara

All the time. I think I'd disappoint people personality wise, with my appearance and even sexually. I truly feel unattractive and less than others, both inside and out.


----------



## tbyrfan

I'll never be good enough to be relationship material - I'm too ugly for any guy to like me. What sucks is that there's nothing I can do about it; I can't afford plastic surgery right now.


----------



## Brian29

tbyrfan said:


> I'll never be good enough to be relationship material - I'm too ugly for any guy to like me. What sucks is that there's nothing I can do about it; I can't afford plastic surgery right now.


Are you kidding me? You're freaking gorgeous... You must live in a town full of gay guys...


----------



## Present

tbyrfan said:


> I'll never be good enough to be relationship material - I'm too ugly for any guy to like me. What sucks is that there's nothing I can do about it; I can't afford plastic surgery right now.


If that's you In that Pic then I would never Imagine u'd feel that way. 
Not saying that the way you feel is bad or wrong however you look really good in that Pic and I'm just not saying that to make you feel better about yourself It is my Honest Opinion.


----------



## TheSpeedmaster1861

I am despised by women. Its just something about me that I cant explain. Oh well.


----------



## TheSpeedmaster1861

tbyrfan said:


> I'll never be good enough to be relationship material - I'm too ugly for any guy to like me. What sucks is that there's nothing I can do about it; I can't afford plastic surgery right now.


Sorry but if you look like your profile pic you're beautiful and don't need surgery. I'd love to hold the attention of someone like you for a bit, of course that never ever happens; I'm sure you've had like 1000 boyfriends.


----------



## tbyrfan

TheSpeedmaster1861 said:


> I'm sure you've had like 1000 boyfriends.


LOL NO i've had one. It was 4 years ago, only for a month until I broke it off because I wasn't attracted to him - and I don't even know if that counts as a relationship. If I got a boyfriend at this point, the apocalypse would definitely be around the corner lol.


----------



## Witan

Only all the time.


----------



## alissaxvanity

I feel attractive enough, because others tell me I am every day, but I feel that in spite of that I am so damaged and undatable that any sane person would stay away from me. Unless I hide my depression and needyness.


----------



## Droidsteel

No ^_^ No I think I have a lot to offer some people, I'll make you laugh and I never let the conversation dry up, Im pretty kind and people who know me well say Im an intresting person. Also Im REEEEEEALLY LOUD around people i know hehe 

Im just really shy and closed up and nervous and paranoid and a bit of a cluts, and I look... meh. But I swear Im worth it once you get to know me, pleeeeeease can someone give me a chance someday


----------



## Freiheit

I think I'm good enough, meaning, I'm not unattractive and I try my best to be a good person and treat others right, it's just that I have way too many hang ups for a person with options to actually stay with me and not get tired/dump me eventually. It takes a special kind of patient person to deal with me and it would be frustrating for most people.


----------



## Droidsteel

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> Yes, im already shunned because of my looks. *Also, men tend to love those loud, obnoxious *****es.* So that could be why. Also, i already dont connect with others personalities, so that could be why.


Not always. I think quiter girls are dead cute :teeth


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## One Man Wolfpack

Definitely, I think I have a lot of personal issues to deal with before I start to look for a relationship.

I'd be a terrible boyfreind.


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## mezzoforte

Yeah, and this is why I'm not looking for a relationship anymore.


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## Rest or Real?

Not at all.


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## mzmz

*This*



alissaxvanity said:


> I feel attractive enough, because others tell me I am every day, but I feel that in spite of that I am so damaged and undatable that any sane person would stay away from me. Unless I hide my depression and needyness.


However, lying would be wrong. That's why i'm alone.


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## TheSpeedmaster1861

tbyrfan said:


> LOL NO i've had one. It was 4 years ago, only for a month until I broke it off because I wasn't attracted to him - and I don't even know if that counts as a relationship. If I got a boyfriend at this point, the apocalypse would definitely be around the corner lol.


Attraction is important in my opinion for a successful relationship. Personality is the other most important factor to me right now. I'm pretty sure you melt a lot of men's hearts so maybe the apocalypse would be around the corner I guess technically I've had two girlfriends in my life. The first was when I was in forth grade. She broke up with me after recess lol:doh So we were together for like 3 hours. The other one was crazy and had no soul :twisted She turned out to be super religious and creepy:afr

Speedmaster


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## arnie

tbyrfan said:


> LOL NO i've had one. It was 4 years ago, only for a month until I broke it off because I wasn't attracted to him - and I don't even know if that counts as a relationship. If I got a boyfriend at this point, the apocalypse would definitely be around the corner lol.


Well the mayan apocalypse (december 21) is this year, so it may work out for you. :boogie


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## AllToAll

It's not that I feel like I'm not good enough for someone, but that I don't think someone could stand being romantically attached to me for more than a few months. :lol


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## rdrr

I have learned through experiences that I am not good enough for anyone. It's too bad, really.


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## Loveless

All the time. And sadly sometimes vice versa . Sometimes I feel women are always going to be cheaters and that I'm always going to be a dissapointment.


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## brothersport

Story.of.my.life.


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## Paperwings

I've started to feel this way, and I'm starting to realize that nobody is perfect, and hell I even think most people successful with relationships and dating are much worse a person than I.

It seems as though I put women on a pedestal and am too nice, which I'm only assuming makes me seem boring or could lead them to presumptions about me, after re-thinking my stance on PUA stuff it makes sense... I bet most people don't really understand it, I had written it off as a manual to being a douche, but it isn't. Essentially while I have confidence, I don't really have an outward confidence which most people consider arrogance; most can't even tell the difference. So rather than feeling like I need to impress women, feeling like they need to impress me is kind of freeing in a way, I'm not worried about saying the wrong things, hell I don't even care if I say the wrong things! I know I'm an amazing person, as are most people here - don't be afraid to be proud of yourself. Actual arrogance is something like sarcasm or exaggeration, most of the time it's based off of putting others down to feel better about oneself, or being able to color within the lines with a crayon and saying you're picaso. (pretty big exaggeration but it gets my point across I think) but the truth is, I don't need anybody else to feel good about myself, neither does anybody here. Don't feel like you need to bring others into your life, feel like you want to let them in. 

to be honest I'm out of ways to explain this, so I'm going to leave this off with a quote I find more true in any aspect of life the more time goes on: "It's only after you've lost everything, that you're free to do anything." it's been true with depression for me (lost all hope, said screw it and really opened up and confronted my thoughts and feelings) and I have a feeling it'll work with dating/friends as well and I plan on approaching random girls today and getting numbers, time to put this in motion.


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## CoastalSprite

Yeah. I don't even feel good enough for anyone period, not just romantically. I don't even know why my friends or anyone associates themselves with me.


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## Toppington

Pretty much always felt this way, yes.


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## senrab

all the time.


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## Evo

Yes.


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## Wrong Galaxy

I always feel this way everyday................


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## Blawnka

Everyday, indeed.


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## VivaLaVida101

In my relationship with my boyfriend.. i feel like im not good enough for him. :c like he will tell me im the best thing that evrr happened to him... Or that im his everything... I always sometimes break down and cry thinking that im not good enough for him and that im wasting his time. ... Its a silly feeling if u ask


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## srschirm

No, I feel other people aren't good enough for me.


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## OldSchoolSkater

Yeah, I feel like I'm not good enough for pretty much anything. I was always just a little different than everyone growing up and teachers, parents, family, friends alike all make it seem like just because I wasn't the same as everyone else I wasn't as good as them. I have low self confidence due to damaging relationships, past mistakes, and my current situation. I can certainly fake confidence at times though, but recently I've stoped even caring to do that.


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## Mahglazzies

After my girlfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago to get with a guy that's infinitely more interesting, charming, outgoing and extroverted than I am? 

Yeah, I feel pretty worthless, even if I did manage to keep her for five years.


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## IcedOver

I'm not good enough to be spit on.


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## coeur_brise

Yes, definitely. I always feel there is somebody prettier, with a nicer figure, more cute, more sane, overall more everything than I would ever be. Like if it came down between me and another person, that person would have so much more to offer.


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## garycoleman

Yes I felt like that before. I think it's one of the causes why my relationship failed. When you think a girl is too good for you, you don't take the initiative in the relationship and keep asking her questions seeking her approval. So it makes you look like you have no confidence.


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## tina2g2

Steve123 said:


> I have this odd feeling like anyone I'd have any interest in would almost by definition be out of my league.


Exactly... every guy i meet and like is out of my league... they will stick around till they get wat they want and leave. next thing u know they're in a serious relationship with someone else


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## JustThisGuy

Yep. Broken. Like some have kind of said so far, I get scared of someone who could mean a lot to me. I wouldn't want to be a person that fails them. I'd be afraid that I wouldn't be able to make someone who makes me happy _happy_. So I push away, or avoid completely at times. (Best way I can put it.)


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## This is my Life

I used to because of a scar I received from an accident above my lip. I was very self-conscious about it until I got into my first relationship and she didn't care about the scar. Since then, I considered myself good enough for anybody.


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## Wacky Wednesdays

Yes. I don't feel good enough for anyone, emotionally/mentally/physically.


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## sean88

I go in and out of believing I'm not fit to be in a relationship, to knowing I'm a great person that deserves love. It varies. lol


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## Barette

Oh yeah. Probably why I won't be having a relationship for a while, I find it impossible to believe someone would not only want me, but to want me enough that they wouldn't be interested in other girls. That is like, unfathomable.


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## Rachmaninoff

Nope, I don't think I'd have much trouble if I just put my self out there more. Though I'm generally pretty optimistic.


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## Hadron92

i do believe that, yes.


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## mzmz

*I used to do exactly this*



JustThisGuy said:


> Yep. Broken. Like some have kind of said so far, I get scared of someone who could mean a lot to me. I wouldn't want to be a person that fails them. I'd be afraid that I wouldn't be able to make someone who makes me happy _happy_. So I push away, or avoid completely at times. (Best way I can put it.)


Realize there are girls who think the same out there who think this too...why should you BOTH be so alone??

it's ultimately selfish when you can make someone else happy who would make YOU happy. I Know your going to read this and be all like "yeah right"..but I have to try.


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## minimized

In my case, it's pure truth so I need not ask it.


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## vinylman

even though i never actually tried talking to a girl, i still feel that it wouldn't matter anyways, because no girl would like me once she knew who i was. i think i'm ugly, weird and just a loser. i wish i could stop feeling so bad about myself and get out there.


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## In Search

mzmz said:


> Realize there are girls who think the same out there who think this too...why should you BOTH be so alone??
> 
> it's ultimately selfish when you can make someone else happy who would make YOU happy. I Know your going to read this and be all like "yeah right"..but I have to try.


feel the same way feel that i am not good enough for anybody.

CRAZY thought if many of us feel the same way why dont we just bother to try and meet local SAS members that really want a relation ship but have this thoughts i bet it would be alot easier knowing that we both feel the same way it would be less wight on our shoulders.


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## tstone

Of course, I think everyone does from time to time but it's absolutely not true. U gotta try to cut yourself a break sometimes even though it's extremely hard


----------



## CityslickerCody

Yes, I do. It's kind of hard not to feel not good enough when you've never been in a relationship.


----------



## MsDaisy

It's true.


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## anomalous

mzmz said:


> Realize there are girls who think the same out there who think this too...why should you BOTH be so alone??
> 
> it's ultimately selfish when you can make someone else happy who would make YOU happy. I Know your going to read this and be all like "yeah right"..but I have to try.


I'm sure there are... but here's a thought. What if some people are just so sexually undesirable that they're better off alone than with each other?

This has always been my philosophy. I'm very unattractive physically, and certainly don't have the personality traits or status to compensate. Now, I'm sure there are a few girls on the planet who are desperate and neglected enough not to consider themselves "out of my league." However, I'm still human, and I still have standards -- standards that probably aren't realistic, given what I have to offer. As such, I might not find any of those girls attractive, at all. Likewise, I wouldn't be surprised to find that many of those very girls are simply happier staying single than trying to force attraction to a sad excuse for a man like myself.

I'm sure everyone's view on this is different, but I simply don't think it's reasonable to assume that human happiness would be maximized by having everyone who's single pair up. Just because an individual is widely viewed as undesirable does not mean his or her standards of attraction can drop accordingly. Therefore, some people may find themselves in such a position that it's not possible to attract a partner that would make them happy.


----------



## mezzoforte

Yeah, I'm so ****ing worthless and I don't want anyone to have to deal with someone like me.


----------



## andy1984

^  everyone is always complimenting you on your photos and you seem really cool and smart. you put yourself down a lot. you're not worthless.

i don't feel good enough for my gf. i'm unemployed, a little bit fat. i waste all my time. i'm to needy. whereas she's beautiful, smart, cute, slightly evil, independent, and just generally awesome. she deserves better.


----------



## anhedonic

mzmz said:


> Realize there are girls who think the same out there who think this too...why should you BOTH be so alone??
> 
> it's ultimately selfish when you can make someone else happy who would make YOU happy. I Know your going to read this and be all like "yeah right"..but I have to try.


Because said person has to be able to live for themselves first, not someone else. The latter just yells clinginess.


----------



## mzmz

anhedonic said:


> Because said person has to be able to live for themselves first, not someone else. The latter just yells clinginess.


wow clingy? really? becuase you dont want to wait to live your life or love?

I mean im all for self improvement..but i think in a forum where what people suffer from most is loneliness, being with someone can be a boon.

:blank


----------



## mysterioussoul

yep, even though i'm not horrible i still feel inadequate to everyone else. if i don't love myself then i can't expect anyone else to.


----------



## anhedonic

mzmz said:


> wow clingy? really? becuase you dont want to wait to live your life or love?
> 
> I mean im all for self improvement..but i think in a forum where what people suffer from most is loneliness, being with someone can be a boon.
> 
> :blank


No, I mean, if someone waits... it's too passive. rarely does life throw everything you want in your lap, you have to go after it yourself. *Take it* like it's yours, and always has been.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

Yes and that everyone is rejecting me.


----------



## Insanityonthego

I used to think I wasn't good enough to be a pet owner, other than that, who has been good enough for me? That's the question.


----------



## Ashley1990

Yeha this guy was really inetreste din me some days ago..but now he seems very less interested..perhaps he got it ..I am not his type..not for aanybody


i must admit it..-I am Heartbroken


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