# Baptism and Crowds



## Blue Bird (Jun 28, 2004)

So I posted a while back (I think it was on this site) about wanting to be baptized , but I was (still am) too afraid to get up in front of the small congregation and announce it. So, my pastor has come up to me and talked about it a little bit, as well as two women from the church. I just don't feel comfortable talking to them and I rather email the pastor. I don't want to talk to him face-to-face. I know "normal" people wouldn't understand, so explain why I don't want to get in front of any size audience is going to be a challenge.

I've recently started to have all these doubts, about if I'm in the right state of mind to be baptized. Is there a right state of mind?? I'm not other Christians. I don't shout amen, I'm not writing or saying all the time that God is good. I don't feel blessed everyday. Sometimes I'm bitter, angry, pissed at God and the world. I know that he and I have an understanding, but I also know they everyone else and myself don't. I don't want to get into a debate with other Christians about who I should be or how I should act after being "born again". There was no great, big change, no rick bottom for me. It was subtle. I _am_ the change, now. This is the after. I feel I've come a long way. The little changes I've slowly made along the way I am grateful for. I plan on continuing to grow and change, but I don't think I'll ever make a complete 180 and morph into someone completely.

Help... What do y'all think? Suggestions?


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## happyman2011 (Jun 20, 2010)

given our SA, little changes on your christian life means a lot. Just be patient, and fix your eyes on your Lord, in due time, you will look back into your christian life and you will become more grateful because of the changes and choices you made on yourself.


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## Amber78 (Jun 25, 2010)

Come to God as you are, there is no right time, just come to God and develop a personal relationship.


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## Blue Bird (Jun 28, 2004)

Thank you both, your replies were comforting.

It's just so hard trying to face a crowd.... I'm feeling so fearful, overwhelmed, and helpless. Being Christian is scary a lot of the time, but I'm going to hang in there. I will continue to pray for strength and courage. I am fully aware that I cannot do this on my own. This is so hard, despite the obvious pros and cons. It's like my mind isn't grasping what's at stake...it's just not working period.


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