# Dealing with people that make you feel stupid?



## anotherone (Mar 18, 2008)

I have a family member that tends to make me feel like I've just said the stupidest thing ever whenever I talk to her. Even though I know I didn't, and I know I wouldn't have felt like it was stupid (or that I am stupid) if I had said it to someone else. The worst part about it is that she doesn't even know that she's doing it. 

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with people like that? I've tried ignoring it and telling myself that it's just the way she is and it has nothing to do with me or what I've said, but it doesn't really work.


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## bobster231 (Aug 29, 2008)

I've had encounters like that with a few people. They make me feel like a complete idiot if I say something and they think I'm so weird for saying it or something like that. Best just to try and ignore it I guess, or you can confront the person and let them know that it bothers you.


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## TATA (Sep 18, 2008)

Never had the guts to stand up to it, so I just tend to ignore it and stay positive. Sometimes it works. If it's not a family member I just put them on my secret ignore list lol


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## GaryUranga (Apr 22, 2006)

keep doign it and with tiem it wont matter anymore


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

If she's not doing it on purpose then standing up to her would be pointless.


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## rudders (Oct 10, 2008)

I dont think the answer is to confront people, but to try and change your perception of how they make you feel.

I've been made to feel stupid (accidently or on-purpose) countless times, because I cant get my words out properly and it really really hurts me.

I try to laugh at myself and not make a big deal of stuffin up a few words, it doesnt always work! but it helps sometimes


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## Kerrick (Jun 3, 2008)

I wish I knew the answer to that one.
I always feel like an idiot when I talk to my family.
It's gotten to the point where I simply avoid it which has the effect of making them think that I hate them. But really, I just feel inferior.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

The only thing I can think of is to either talk to her about it in private or after she does her thing, explain your point that you were trying to make, which will make her look stupid.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

I have no patience for that stuff.
I don't insult anybody and i better not be unsulted either, especially not in front of others. I absolutely have no patience for that stuff and i've been known to grab people by the colar and ask if they have a damn problem. Show some respect, it's free and it keeps the peace.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

You sound like the guy in your avatar, heh.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

shyvr6 said:


> You sound like the guy in your avatar, heh.


I'm not that mean :lol
All i'm saying is not to let yourself be unsulted if the peoson is doing it on purpose.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

Usually when I have to deal with people like this it's been at work or something and I can't deal with it so I end up quitting.
But I have had a few family members/other people make me feel stupid too. I just usually try to avoid talking to people like that as much as I can, even if it is family.


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## forever_dreamer (Jul 8, 2008)

Logan X said:


> I have no patience for that stuff.
> I don't insult anybody and i better not be unsulted either, especially not in front of others. I absolutely have no patience for that stuff and i've been known to grab people by the colar and ask if they have a damn problem. Show some respect, it's free and it keeps the peace.


lmao :rofl

Thanks i needed that. yeah I'm like Shauna I usually try to avoid people like that. I wish I had better advice.


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## EmpoweredByOne (Oct 11, 2008)

This is something I can very much relate to because if someone is usually older than me, they can reel in the little fish and bring you down to their level. I get upset when people treat me stupid, like I don't get it but I get over it even if I am left a bit hostile in the end. I'm learning to respond than to react in certain situations, sometimes you just have to laugh and forget these people because they are probably in a boat you don't want a sail in. :lol I don't have the patience for people that make you feel underwhelmed in their presence so I say fudge them, I certainly don't need people like that around me anyhow. :yes


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## zombiedan (Jan 11, 2012)

So I can't stand Kanye West. Inspite of this fact, I had to work selling merch at one of his shows (nothing aggravates a persons social anxiety more than a huge concert, let alone having to work at one.) Part of his wares was a small book of Kanye quotes you could buy for about ten bucks, and it was chock full of Kanye West Wisdom. I HAD to read it. It wasn't the most captivating read until I got half way through and I read a quote from him that said something like "haters are your biggest fans." Throughout the course of the night I was thinking about how maybe he was right, and I was a perfect example of this rule. I still can't stand the man and his music, but he is successful. Something I am not. Maybe that's why I hated Kanye West. Now after much time I have learned a valuable lesson from this man I don't like. Most of the time, when someone doesn't like you, it's because a small part of them is jealous of you. They may just genuinely dislike you, but there always seems to be an element of jealousy involved if you look hard enough. I take a small comfort in that. Thanks Kanye.


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## borbiusle (Sep 26, 2009)

It depends but people that do stuff like that are extremely insecure and not people you want to hang out with. If it's a complete stranger or someone I don't generally get along with, I'll ignore 'em, sarcastically make fun of them or tell them to **** off. With family/work, I find that being tactful works best. I find that acknowledging their view on things and calmly/confidently stating my opinion usually leads to interesting dialogue, or at the very least, garners respect from people. If they keep trying to override you and don't acknowledge anything you say, or resort to name-calling, I'm usually just like "Hey man, do what you do" and just leave them be.


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## TheGoodOldBook (Sep 18, 2015)

I recently graduated from college and started a new career in programming. 
I used to be a language teacher, but now I do web programming. 
I love doing this but it's not easy for me to be like them, programmers. 

I graduated December 2014 and since then I have worked in 2 places. 
In both of them my co-workers treated me something like an idiot because of the way I communicate. 

I consider myself a classical type of an academic person
but these technology people look at me as a Greek statue in an engine room or something. 
Thus i can't help but feel constantly out of place among them. 

It's not that I can't do the job, I can even though I am still new and need time to grow my skills. 
But the way these technology people treat me makes me feel like I don't belong to them.

I can sense their attitude and it adds to my anxiety and depression
which - like a snowball - adds more to my inability to talk to them.

I really need this job but I am constantly afraid that they will fire me because of my lack of communication skills.
Sometimes I just get panic attacks so bad my hands almost shake and I can't think clearly.
I feel paranoid overthinking about every word they say.


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