# so depressed i dont want to do anything



## mere phantom (Dec 16, 2003)

...


----------



## Melusine (Jun 19, 2004)

:hug, i feel the same way, hang in there!
I'm unemployed, too, mostly doing lazy stuff besides the ruotine workouts and meditation...my life could use some changes, but its been difficult with my parent's working and my sister in college, the only people who can give me rides to apply, i don't know what to do. I'm sure we'll think of something


----------



## WinterDave (Dec 5, 2003)

:agree Working is the only aspect of life that I am barely functional in, and I hate the type of work I do....If it were not for work, I would never leave the house or socialize....Other than work, I have no energy, motivation, interest, or confidence...Right now, I don't even seem to have the energy to want to change....


----------



## Bon1 (Jan 17, 2005)

WinterDave.......I can empathize with what you wrote.......How do you find the energy to get up and go to a job that you're not so crazy about? I've found when I'm feeling like this it's almost impossible........It's as if time stands still.


----------



## Ms Deer (May 30, 2004)

GermanHermit said:


> If it weren't for work I couldn't pull myself together to do anything.
> 
> No matter how hard I try, I fail to see a reason for doing almost anything.


Me either.


----------



## missnat84 (Dec 31, 2004)

WinterDave said:


> :agree Working is the only aspect of life that I am barely functional in, and I hate the type of work I do....If it were not for work, I would never leave the house or socialize....Other than work, I have no energy, motivation, interest, or confidence...Right now, I don't even seem to have the energy to want to change....


 :dito

Thats how i feel most of the time.


----------



## ShyViolet (Nov 11, 2003)

I'm in the exact same boat.


----------



## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

I identify with both German Hermit & WinterDave in that, when I was working, that was the singular thing that kept me going, made me get out of the house, in essense, gave me purpose. Now that I'm home with the kids, I feel pretty useless, a maid & cook, not much else. At least when I was working, I was making my own money & was able to do things on my own. Now, I have to look on a calendar to see what day it is because I tend to lose track of the days anymore.


----------



## WinterDave (Dec 5, 2003)

I go to work because it's part of the routine, a change of pace, and something to do....If I am going to be bored and miserable, I might as well do it at work and get paid for it....I just sit around doing nothing on my days off anyway, I might as well go into work and get paid overtime if I can.....


----------



## fiver (Feb 10, 2005)

I feel the same way. I feel so empty inside, I don't know what to do with my life or where to go from here. I just keep hoping something will just happen, but I know that's not realistic.


----------



## Elsa (Jul 4, 2005)

Ding ding! here too.

Also unemployed right now, and I feel so ill-matched to any of the available jobs to me. It's depressing just thinking about a possible job, because they're so not me!
My bf's been getting on my case about it though, and I know I should just take something...
But he just doesn't get how hard it is for me!

Then I know the best option is to start going back to school, but I can't decide what to study, and I just keep going around in circles thinking about what to do with my life! Arrrrrggggghhhh!


----------



## brokenlight (Mar 10, 2004)

I'm depressed, too. So many things have been going wrong (lost my best friend/former boyfriend-only person I really spent time with outside of work- after he said some rotten things, didn't get promotion-apparently mainly for sa reasons, don't have energy to cook and even when I do, can't seem to make myself eat as I have no appetite, etc). I don't have a support system around me to say it's not that bad, etc. I don't feel comfortable letting acquaintances know me on a deep enough level to help me. I don't have the energy it takes to pull myself out of this. I feel stuck. I am trying to look at this like I am temporarily experiencing pain, because without going through it I can't get to something better. 

Soon I'll be :banana I can feel it.
Yeah.

Hope you feel better soon.


----------



## Rebfancy (Jul 10, 2005)

I feel depressed too. Everything I do takes a lot of effort. I don't want to do anything, but just sitting in front of the computer and TV are driving my crazy! I'm too scared to actually go out and get a job and be alone in life, so I just sit here miserable, trying to force myself to do the things I need to do. I can't become interested in anything. Just the thought of a job and having to go into work every single day for so many hrs. just depresses me even more, especially when there aren't any jobs available that I'd like even the slightest. 
Like someone else said, I just keep sitting here, waiting for something to happen, even though I know nothing's going to happen unless I make it happen. 
Due to all of this keeping me from being able to get a job, I don't have any medical coverage, so I can't afford to see a doctor. I just don't know what to do; I feel completely stuck. And, to top it all off, I don't have anyone to support me in this. My step-dad just tells me to go out and get a job and my mom just says to not let it bother you and go on. But, they have no idea how difficult this is. It's not as simple as just go out and do things. That's extremely difficult. They'll tease me about it and joke around with my fears (like watching a scary movie turned up loud where I can hear it in my room at night) and that just makes things more difficult by adding more anxiety. 
I just wish I knew what to do to get out of this downward spiral that is my life right now!!!!!!!!


----------



## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

If it weren't for my therapist appointment today I don't think I coulda pulled myself out of bed, too depressed.


----------



## Elsa (Jul 4, 2005)

Rebfancy said:


> Just the thought of a job and having to go into work every single day for so many hrs. just depresses me even more, especially when there aren't any jobs available that I'd like even the slightest.


I totally agree Rebfancy. Sometimes I think maybe I'm just being a big baby; everyone has to work, right? Other people get over it, why can't I?

It's just the combination of having to force myself thru my SA to go job hunting, and then not being particulary excited about any of the jobs available to me REALLY makes me wish I never had to work again. I'm 24 and I'm ready to retire!!! 
What kind of life is one where you have to go waste a huge chunk of every day doing something you hate? :fall


----------



## RedTulip (Nov 9, 2004)

Elsa said:


> Ding ding! here too.
> 
> Also unemployed right now, and I feel so ill-matched to any of the available jobs to me.
> 
> Then I know the best option is to start going back to school, but I can't decide what to study, and I just keep going around in circles thinking about what to do with my life! Arrrrrggggghhhh!


 :dito This sounds just like me. I've been out of work for at least 3 months now. It's strange, when I working, I complained because I hated working. And I don't even go to school anymore because I'm not sure what I wanna do with my life either. It's so frustrating.


----------



## couger (May 16, 2005)

*to depressed to go anywhere*

Wow at least I'm not the only one. I got laid off 2 months ago and have done nothing but watch movies and waste time on my computer. I guess work was the only thing I had going for me. My friend helped me get a job that I start this monday and now the anxiety begins. At least If i can handle the new job it will be better than being alone at home focusing on my S/A.


----------



## bloodywrist (Aug 1, 2005)

:stu ive dont that same thing al summer.... jus eat sleep, watch movies and be on the computer and i feel sooo down, i hate it


----------



## gemma (Jun 17, 2005)

It's been hard for me to find the energy to go out. Depression has really hit me heavy this summer. I am not sure if it's because I was so busy with school and work that I am just crashing down from all it during the summer. But at least I have a job, even though I go out very little on my days off. I really feel for you, not having a job. I was unemployed for almost a year and it's sucks but hang in there.
:hug


----------



## Hermit the Frog (Aug 4, 2004)

Yep, this is definitely the way I've felt for the past couple years. I lack motivation to do practically anything. A lot of days it's just hard to get out of bed, because I know that my day will basically consist of going online or watching TV, because I have no desire to do anything else. Sometimes I truly wonder if I really want to get better...


----------



## missnat84 (Dec 31, 2004)

I wish i could sleep my life away. I love sleeping but when its time to go bed i dont want to sleep because i know i will dread waking up to another day like i always do. Sometimes i dont have the energy to do anything,things can take alot of effort.


----------



## man w/ no name (Dec 28, 2004)

I know the feeling. I hate it. :rain


----------



## brainfog (Mar 1, 2005)

I can totally relate to what is being said here. I have no energy, and I can't seem to be able to get excited about anything. 

I find that I am not even interested in visiting close friends anymore either. And these are friends I have had for 25 years. I feel totally disgusted with myself for feeling this way. It is probably very selfish to feel that way, but there seems to be nothing I can do.


----------



## czarchaz (Aug 11, 2005)

*Yeppers! You said it.*

Amen and Amen.... Agreed.....Me too.... :dito

I get so depressed and discouraged that it does not seem to pay to try to do anything! I am too mentally and physically exhausted to try anything and my pessimism convinces me that even if I do anything it will probably fail and not amount to much. I have to almost literally kick myself in the rear to get going or I know I will in fact accomplish dooley-squat and then feel even worse and think about walking out in front of a truck. Life seems so useless and futile at times.

:afr :um :hide :sigh :help


----------



## BornLoser (Jul 11, 2006)

yeah me too i dont work and i dont go to school i just stay home all day and somedays its hard to get out of bed and i have to force myself to do simple things like taking a shower everyday...when i do get a job i work for like a month then i get sick of working everyday and i simply quit I cant imagine working everyday for the next 40+ years, it scares me just to think about it


----------



## gorbulas (Feb 13, 2004)

im in the same lot with you. my parents are so frustrated with me, they are punishing me and thats making it worse. 

please please please, if youre reading this and have some things to help us all, please say so. although its a little encouraging to know that I am not alone, it won't fix the problem that I desperately want to fix.


----------



## fallenstar (Jun 9, 2006)

i can relate. i am actually used to living with my depression, but these last few days i have found myself sinking deeper and deeper into the depths of despair. :rain


----------



## buggy (Mar 8, 2006)

Elsa said:


> Ding ding! here too.
> 
> Also unemployed right now, and I feel so ill-matched to any of the available jobs to me. It's depressing just thinking about a possible job, because they're so not me!
> My bf's been getting on my case about it though, and I know I should just take something...
> ...


Same here, just quit my old study and have no idea what to do now. Sucks having nothing to do in summer time, especially sine it should be a time for you to enjoy yourself and relax. Instead I end up doing nothing all day and end up as a loner. Bah.


----------



## shyguydan (Dec 30, 2004)

Same here, right now I am not working or going to school and I am going on a downward spiral, I spend alot of time sleeping, reading, watching tv, and playing around on the computer and I have no motivation to do anything, I am 24 and still have no idea what I want to do with my life. The agony of depression/ anxiety :rain


----------



## outsider77 (Sep 7, 2005)

shyguydan said:


> Same here, right now I am not working or going to school and I am going on a downward spiral, I spend alot of time sleeping, reading, watching tv, and playing around on the computer and I have no motivation to do anything, I am 24 and still have no idea what I want to do with my life. The agony of depression/ anxiety :rain


I'm in the same exact boat. I've lost my motivation to do anything but I'm slowly making myself do things to improve my life. Don't worry, I'm going to be 29 in December and I still have no idea what I'm going to do with my life. Ever since I got off the Paxil I've gotten even more depressed; add to that I lost my job last May!

"Only I Can Stop The Rain...."


----------



## friendless (Jul 17, 2006)

I left work for 3 times with no reason then I search for another work 
when I am accepted in a new job I get panic attacks and I cant sleep but I stay for a while until I give up and leave work then I feel good


----------



## mastershay (Jun 9, 2006)

I feel the same as everyone onese else here, except I seem to able to use my hatred of my depression and lonliness to fuel myself into changing. It wasn't until May that I realized that my shyness was the root of my anxiety and depression, which occurred really bad in July-September 2005, and then April to the present. I felt tons better when I figured this out (which didn't last long), because finally I had proof that I had no "chemical imbalance" in my head, as my mom and dcotor claimed as they fed me zoloft to control anger outbursts. There was finally something that I could work on and try to fix, I'm just sad that I didn't figure it out years ago.

Once I found out the problem I decided to make some changes ASAP. Like I said, I use my hatred of my depression to force myself to start changing. A little hurt is better than a lot of hurt in the long run.

-Joined a local SA support group that meets once a week
-Quit my programming job in June, as it was killing all my time that should be spent on college, plus sitting in an office by myself all day was a killer.
-Joined the soccer team at college to interact with people and get some exercise (tech school, so the team isn't hardcore)
-Started going bowling on Sunday nights with a group of students that I never met, again working on interacting
-Attended one week of bartending school in hopes that I can be a waiter/bartender and be around people my age. Yes, thinking about doing so makes me nervous, but I did survive 6 months as a waiter when I was 18
-Joined a yoga class to help remove the anxiety and depression so that I can focus on my shyness. Plus, hoping that it will help physically since I have really gone downhill in the last 4 months: digestion problems, dry eyes, tense shoulders, bad back, total loss of appetite, and anxiety in my stomach in the morning.



I also feel totally lost as what job/profession I should be doing. I'm about to graduate in computer science, but this whole situation kind of tossed it on its head. All of a sudden I just feel like working around other people. Plus, I have never felt a part of the computer group, I have always felt like a normal guy, just shy. I would have played sports past 8th grade basketball if my SA didn't make me feel so inconfident.


----------



## outsider77 (Sep 7, 2005)

I'm a lot like you mastershay. The hatred I have for my anxiety and depression is fueling me to want to change and improve myself. 

I figure that going through with the anxiety has got to be better than avoiding it and being mad at myself and becoming even more depressed.

I like the ideas you gave as to what you are doing to change. I'm not in college anymore so I can't do some of those things, but I'm doing other things to get myself out of this rut.

I think you should also post that message in the "triumphs over SA" message board.


----------



## anis (Jul 23, 2006)

Noca said:


> If it weren't for my therapist appointment today I don't think I coulda pulled myself out of bed, too depressed.


Do you take all those medicines at once? Have any of those worked for you? 
I'm on Wellbutrin and sometimes take a mild tranquilizer.


----------



## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

I wish I could work up the nerve to have a wage-slave job like "them", but I don't have the motivation to. However depressing the concept is, I want to at least experience the wage-slave lifestyle, paying rent to some dickhole landlord and working my *** off all day for some crappy company, just so I can be like everybody else. I don't want to do it, but I guess in this reality I have to. Or, I can just go to Hawaii, apparently, and live on some organic farm with a bunch of freaks and my labor will be my rent and everything will be not so bad. In my mind, at least. Hopefully it's better than what I live with right now. Actually, it is. When I was in California I didn't have some big fat Irish landlord who talked crap to my mom about how much I didn't work. Anything is better than that.


----------



## anis (Jul 23, 2006)

I agree with just about everything said above. I was so lonely and depressed in college and after college I didn't know what I wanted to do. All my brothers and sisters chose practical careers and I was the one floundering around, not knowing what to do.
I finally realized what I want to do, but it's the type of career that it's difficult to get into.
So for the meantime I'm unemployed, looking for a job, while they say that you should "network" to find a job. But people with SA have the hardest time networking, so I don't know what to do. I'll keep applying until something opens up. :afr


----------



## outsider77 (Sep 7, 2005)

Anis, I'm in the EXACT same situation as you. What career are you trying to get into? I'm having a tough time figuring out what I want to do.


----------



## nesteroff (Nov 14, 2003)

...


----------



## anis (Jul 23, 2006)

Trying to get into the environmental field. It's hard, especially under the current administration.


----------



## Shauna (Jul 29, 2006)

I always feel tired and to tell you the truth, it scares me. I keep thinking i have some type of fatal disease or something. I can't sleep at night at all and I barely sleep during the day. I don't know whats wrong with me. I mit need to have my thyroid checked but i'm scared they mit find Cancer or something. I seem to be in a constant state of sadness and always emtremly tired for no reason. I think its my laziness mixed with being depressed and dealing with SA thats causing me to feel this way everyday. I always have this feeling of exhaustion. Its soo hard for me to sleep at night, i just lay there for hrs trying to fall out but it never happens. I can't stop thinking about stuff. I end up geting very frustrated and bored so i just get back up and find something to do(usually that means get back on the computer). I also need a new mattress but can't afford one yet. 

I start my new job tomorrow and i have no idea how i'm going to work 40hrs a week, from 9-5. This is going to kill me. When i get off, its going to be like 5:30pm and imma be too tired to do anything. By the time i try to sleep, its gone be time to get back up again. I will never have any down time. Mostly everything is closed at like 5:00pm. I wanted to get my drivers permit in the morning(not tomorrow morning) but thats out the question now. I can't go to the doctors, can't go shopping early in the morning anymore. I will be working all damn day. I don't like doing anything real late in the afternoon because thats when everything is soo busy. So much for 3rd shift, now i gotta deal with the headaches of 1st shift everyday :fall


----------



## outsider77 (Sep 7, 2005)

I think 1st shift is the best shift, although starting at 9am is a little late and working till 5 sucks; I used to do that, but after a while you get used to it. 

I'm the opposite, I sleep too much. The Xanax really makes me sleep for a long long time. Are you on any meds? Try taking a tylenol pm or something that makes you sleepy.


----------



## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

I have no motivation to do anything either. I just want to sleep all day.


----------



## punkin (Jun 28, 2005)

Zephyr said:


> I have no motivation to do anything either. I just want to sleep all day.


i used to be the same way but now it seems i'm lucky to 4 hours of sleep a night


----------



## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

punkin said:


> Zephyr said:
> 
> 
> > I have no motivation to do anything either. I just want to sleep all day.
> ...


I wish I could get by on four hours. Nowadays I can literally sleep twelve hours a day - 50% of a whole day - and still feel tired and lethargic.


----------



## rsvprsvp (Aug 16, 2006)

Well, you've found company. I'm trying this for the first time today. At least I'm not just sitting around doing nothing, but depression is another story.

Maybe we're justifiably depressed - has anyone thought of that? I'm in a very discouraging situation at this time of life - which I don't care to go in here. Just maybe if there was something positive to look forward to in the morning, but in this house there isn't.

I'd like my therapist to spend a month dealing with what I do here and see if they'd be jumping through loops at the end of it.

I can't change my circumstances. The only thing left to do is change the way I'm dealing with them (the depression) and do I hear an "amen" it isn't easy????


----------

