# How to not freak out when my girlfriend doesn't text back



## sports1555 (May 4, 2013)

Every time I freak out. Even when nothing is wrong I freak out and come up with these wild fantasies of what is happening. I try not to by saying its ok but I can't help myself. Any ideas on how i can stop going crazy every time this happens?


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## sports1555 (May 4, 2013)

basically when she doesn't my day is ruined. I sit by my phone waiting for a text back. I can't focus in classes sometimes. It's out of control. I make these fantasies of her cheating on me so it's not that bad if she doesn't text back cause she's a cheater. I need some advice on how to stop this


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## km754 (May 31, 2014)

Wish I could help you … I'm the same exact way.

It's terrible, I can't concentrate and it completely affects my mood all day. I feel like until I get a text back, I can't calm down or enjoy any part of the day.

I also do the same thing and make up wild fantasies (usually something bad) and that is something I'm trying not to do anymore -- I feel like it just creates bad feelings and maybe even resentment towards my girlfriend which obviously she didn't cause.

Hope this helps to know you aren't the only one


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

too needy bro, girls like guys who dont text them back


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## jim11 (May 23, 2011)

If she keeps doing it, then you know where you are in her priority list.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Maybe she's asleep. Go do stuff. Play videogames. Go to the outside. etc.


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## TheHaxanCloak (Jul 26, 2014)

Maybe you're a bit boring via text? Not trying to be a jerk, but it's a possibility. 

Save the conversation for when you hang out in person, otherwise your relationship will quickly grow stale because you keep talking about everything through text.

Save the texting for your morning poop session, man.

I'm so glad I didn't grow up in school when cell phones were popular. There's nothing normal about all of these awkward virtual-based relationships where people need to keep in touch constantly throughout the day. It's so impersonal and clingy.

Sounds like you need to distract yourself with a little bit more hobbies or live life in general. 

If this is like a 1st relationship, then just know that most of your irrational thoughts are normal and pretty much expected. You're going to be a goober in your 1st couple of relationships until you learn how to man up and just discover how to cultivate a healthy, sane relationship, where you both have your own lives going on.


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

monotonous said:


> too needy bro, girls like guys who dont text them back


...not me. :| which means I just need to get a life but, you know.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

this is how I would react, it's better for guys who are too sensitive not to have gfs, it's less stressful and you don't have to worry about impressing females, it's an ongoing competition against other guys


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

monotonous said:


> too needy bro, girls like guys who dont text them back


Yup. If you're afraid to lose her you will. This fear will prevent you from being yourself and being fun.


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

You don't trust her obviously. Any relationship without trust is doomed.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

WineKitty said:


> You don't trust her obviously. Any relationship without trust is doomed.


This.


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## Section80 (Jul 6, 2014)

Turn off your phone according to the Schrödinger's cat theory she will have both texted you back & not texted back until you turn your phone back on. :lol


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

Section80 said:


> Turn off your phone according to the Schrödinger's cat theory she will have both texted you back & not texted back until you turn your phone back on. :lol


:b:teeth


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## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

It's probably your attachment style:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_in_adults


> Adults have 4 attachment styles: secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. The secure attachment style in adults corresponds to the secure attachment style in children. The anxious-preoccupied attachment style in adults corresponds to the anxious-ambivalent attachment style in children. However, the dismissive-avoidant attachment style and the fearful-avoidant attachment style, which are distinct in adults, correspond to a single avoidant attachment style in children. The descriptions of adult attachment styles offered below are based on the relationship questionnaire devised by Bartholomew and Horowitz[6] and on a review of studies by Pietromonaco and Barrett.[7]
> *There are several attachment-based treatment approaches that can be used with adults.*[8] In addition, there is an approach to treating couples based on attachment theory.[9]
> *Secure*
> 
> ...


I'm not sure what the attachment based treatment strategies are exactly, so you might want to look into it.


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## meandernorth (Nov 12, 2014)

Take a deep breath. There are dozens of reasons for a delayed text. Hard as it is, try not to over-analyze. It could cause problems down the road.


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