# ..



## niko (Jul 2, 2005)

..


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

*Re: okay girls...do you know what you're wearing?*



niko said:


> If you put on a thong or g-string and clothed yourself -- went to work -- and just went about your day, is it possible for you to forget that you have that sexy apparel down there?
> 
> There's this chick in my office, and she is mad....mad....madly tempting me. Forget about a mere coinslot (you know what that is ) -- this chick was revealing a quarter of her ***.
> 
> ...


Maybe she thought there was no need to because you're a nice guy that wouldn't look? Or maybe you're right and she wanted you to look. I'm surprised you allowed yourself to look. My natural response is to immediatley look away and don't look back; I get this uncomfortable guilty feeling. Funny thing is I know every other guy is looking, so why do I care.

Why don't these ladies exist where I work? There's like nothing in my age range. They're all older.

This thread could get ugly but I hope not.


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## Restless Mind (Jul 19, 2006)

Next time she does that, give her the good ol' credit card. :lol jk


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## niko (Jul 2, 2005)

*Re: okay girls...do you know what you're wearing?*

..


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## VelvetElvis (Apr 29, 2006)

*Re: okay girls...do you know what you're wearing?*



niko said:


> If you put on a thong or g-string and clothed yourself -- went to work -- and just went about your day, is it possible for you to forget that you have that sexy apparel down there?
> 
> There's this chick in my office, and she is mad....mad....madly tempting me. Forget about a mere coinslot (you know what that is ) -- this chick was revealing a quarter of her ***.
> 
> ...


Dear Penthouse Forum...


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## thecurerules (May 31, 2004)

*Re: okay girls...do you know what you're wearing?*



niko said:


> _"should I bang my co-worker whose already in a relationship?"_


Hell yes! If he's only a boyfriend I don't see a problem.

But then again, if the boyfriend finds out you've been messing around with his girl he'll know where to find you!

I say go for it. :yes


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## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

Sometimes, the tight skimpy clothes that some girls wear is almost offensive. I mean, I love the female form, but is it really necessary to dress like a ****, with all that cleavage, stomach and ***-crack hanging out?


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

*Re: okay girls...do you know what you're wearing?*



niko said:


> She had on a thong.....and her *** was def getting some good air time.


Why is it that when I see an *** in public is always belongs to a guy? I never get lucky like this. I got to see a full moon at noon while a guy was roofing my neighbor's house. These guys really need suspenders.


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## Laura (Nov 12, 2003)

...


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Laura said:


> They look like they're very uncomfortable.


I think the idea is to avoid the unsightly panty line problem. Looks over comfort I guess.

Some seem to contain so little material that I'm not fully sure why women wear them at all. If one is going to wear something with about as much material & coverage as an eye patch, why not just wear nothing at all?


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

I don't see how thats the type of thing you could forget you are wearing. I've seen girls wearing thongs in public before and they usually make a point to wear them with low riding jeans so they are completely visible. I think its a silly way for a woman to draw attention, I wouldn't be comfortable in something like that.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Lonelyguy said:


> I've seen girls wearing thongs in public before and they usually make a point to wear them with low riding jeans so they are completely visible.


Jeans have gone lower & lower, now hitting a point where no woman could sit in the lowest of them without showing some crack. Saturday Night Live made a commercial parody about a moisturizing cream for the "coin slot" -- the *** crack shown by such jeans. And they do make low rise thongs to go with low rise jeans.



Lonelyguy said:


> I think its a silly way for a woman to draw attention, I wouldn't be comfortable in something like that.


Well you must admit that a thong that shows above a very low rise waist is quite provocative and attention-getting, so it's very effective if attention is their goal and I can't imagine any other goal with such dress.



Lonelyguy said:


> I wouldn't be comfortable in something like that.


And we wouldn't be comfortable seeing a mechanic wearing a thong either, Dave. :lol The other guys at work would really start talking if you came in dressed like that.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

Women in thongs is the best thing since sliced bread :mushy


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## medea (May 6, 2006)

I don't think I've ever forgotten that I'm wearing a thong, it's sort of a distinctive feeling plus they are more drafty. I don't wear them to work to show off, just when I don't want panty lines showing. I'm shy though so I always remember to pull my shirt down lol.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

*Re: okay girls...do you know what you're wearing?*



niko said:


> scairy said:
> 
> 
> > Maybe she thought there was no need to because you're a nice guy that wouldn't look? Or maybe you're right and she wanted you to look. I'm surprised you allowed yourself to look. My natural response is to immediatley look away and don't look back; I get this uncomfortable guilty feeling.
> ...


Everyone is at least 10 years older than me. That just seems strange for me. I could see myself saying wow she's attractive but I can't see myself doing anything more than that. I'd say the average age of the women at my job is 50 years old.

As for the flirting I guess that's another thing I'll never understand. I'm starting to think that women will harmlessly flirt but if it ends up being a smooth guy they're flirting with it will lead to something more, even if this is something she wasn't looking for.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Futures said:


> Women in thongs is the best thing since sliced bread :mushy


Better them than guys.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Inturmal said:


> Sometimes, the tight skimpy clothes that some girls wear is almost offensive. I mean, I love the female form, but is it really necessary to dress like a ****, with all that cleavage, stomach and ***-crack hanging out?


True. It's hard enough as it is for a guy to keep himself under control. It just makes it that much harder for us to focus on anything other than the body.


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## medea (May 6, 2006)

Well I don't think I should have to base my clothing choices on what will or will not make a man lose control. If you can't control yourself then you're not a man in my book. 

The whole thing makes me think of those women who are expected to wear burkas so men don't lose control. It's stupid. I don't walk around in a bikini because it would be uncomfortable but I have every right to do it an not be assaulted. A man not being able to control himself is his own shortcoming, thong or no thong.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Just Say No to Crack at Work!

No coinslots! It is not proper business attire to show a thong above jeans. She'd be sent home without pay. She needs jeans that cover it ALL up, preferably with a belt! Shorts are okay as long as they are the proper length and look appropriate. NO TUBE TOPS or anything that shows the stomach front and center or a full back. A tank top is also considered NOT cool.


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## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

Ick.. tell me about it, IMO women showing their *** are basically attention whores, shes doing it on purpose, those things arent even comfortable. I'll stick to my boyshorts thank you very much.


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## archaic (Jan 16, 2006)

I've heard thongs are so comfortable that you can't even feel them. I think they'd be so annoying, though! I'm actually going to give them a try soon at someone's request, so I'll let everyone know my final opinion. :b


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## GaryUranga (Apr 22, 2006)

boy short type of underwear > thongs

Ive seen models in both and I really like the boy short, the tongue is too ****ty.

Women dress like that to call attention, thats how they get it, she obviously wants attention, thats why they dress sexy or whatever, stuff..


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## tewstroke (Feb 18, 2006)

medea said:


> Well I don't think I should have to base my clothing choices on what will or will not make a man lose control. If you can't control yourself then you're not a man in my book.
> 
> The whole thing makes me think of those women who are expected to wear burkas so men don't lose control. It's stupid. I don't walk around in a bikini because it would be uncomfortable but I have every right to do it an not be assaulted. A man not being able to control himself is his own shortcoming, thong or no thong.


 :ditto And I really don't think women in thongs is the best thing since sliced bread. What is so freakin' wrong with an underwear line why must it seem like you aren't wearing any at all. I don't care though wear what you want to wear I'll just stick to my regular underwear.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

medea said:


> Well I don't think I should have to base my clothing choices on what will or will not make a man lose control. If you can't control yourself then you're not a man in my book.
> 
> The whole thing makes me think of those women who are expected to wear burkas so men don't lose control. It's stupid. I don't walk around in a bikini because it would be uncomfortable but I have every right to do it an not be assaulted. A man not being able to control himself is his own shortcoming, thong or no thong.


Sorry but revealing your rear end or breasts is a little too much in the workplace. Is it really necessary? What does it have to do with the task at hand? Answer nothing. So save that for other occasions so the real task at hand can be completed.


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## sonya99 (Sep 5, 2005)

tewstroke said:


> medea said:
> 
> 
> > Well I don't think I should have to base my clothing choices on what will or will not make a man lose control. If you can't control yourself then you're not a man in my book.
> ...


 :ditto hehe


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

millenniumman75 said:


> Just Say No to Crack at Work!
> 
> No coinslots! It is not proper business attire to show a thong above jeans. She'd be sent home without pay. She needs jeans that cover it ALL up, preferably with a belt! Shorts are okay as long as they are the proper length and look appropriate. NO TUBE TOPS or anything that shows the stomach front and center or a full back. A tank top is also considered NOT cool.


 :agree There's a time and a place for everything, including what you wear. But showing your underwear on the job isn't kewl at all. Most places of work have dress codes that have to be followed, some apparel that isn't allowed. I would think that most woman would have enough sense to keep thongs, tube tops and all that for off work hours :stu

I can't speak for the woman that the OP (original poster) was talking about but it does seem that if a woman dresses like that, she's looking for male attention. Personally, I've worn thongs before and found them to be really uncomfortable.



> Sorry but revealing your rear end or breasts is a little too much in the workplace. Is it really necessary? What does it have to do with the task at hand? Answer nothing. So save that for other occasions so the real task at hand can be completed.


 :agree


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## mels (Nov 11, 2003)

i dont put much credence in the vpl excuse. there are plenty of other undies to deal with that problem. thong underwear also encourages wedgies. EW! 

having said that it pretty easy to forget what one is wearing so i can see someone flashing their thong inadvertently and not knowing it. its like when women bend forward & give anyone in front of them a good view of their breasts. believe it or not, many women just dont realise.


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## tuna (Jun 25, 2006)

I agree with Medea 100%. I don't like people blaming others for their own problems.

I don't believe in "proper" clothing at a "proper" time. That's just one of our culture's silly rules. Of course you have to adhere to it in order to survive but it's still silly.

Thongs are comfortable to me and sometimes I do forget that I wore a thong instead of regular undies.

Nothing wrong with wanting sexual attention. People like to feel attractive.

I hate low rise jeans with a passion! That's all they sell now! Arghhhh!


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## ate16am (Dec 23, 2005)

archaic said:


> I've heard thongs are so comfortable that you can't even feel them. I think they'd be so annoying, though! I'm actually going to give them a try soon at someone's request, so I'll let everyone know my final opinion. :b


You have to get used to them. It depends on the fabric, too.

I only wear one when I'm wearing white pants or pants/skirts made of really thin material.


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## archaic (Jan 16, 2006)

GaryUranga said:


> Women dress like that to call attention, thats how they get it, she obviously wants attention, thats why they dress sexy or whatever, stuff.


Maybe for some women, but that's hardly the case for all! I know *I* don't dress for *YOU*. Plenty of women dress "sexy" because THEY want to feel sexy. I think guys are too wrapped up in themselves and think anything sexually attractive is aimed at them.


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## tewstroke (Feb 18, 2006)

archaic said:


> GaryUranga said:
> 
> 
> > Women dress like that to call attention, thats how they get it, she obviously wants attention, thats why they dress sexy or whatever, stuff.
> ...


 :ditto And sometimes it's to make other women envious.


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## Toonia (Jan 26, 2006)

medea said:


> Well I don't think I should have to base my clothing choices on what will or will not make a man lose control. If you can't control yourself then you're not a man in my book.
> 
> The whole thing makes me think of those women who are expected to wear burkas so men don't lose control. It's stupid. I don't walk around in a bikini because it would be uncomfortable but I have every right to do it an not be assaulted. A man not being able to control himself is his own shortcoming, thong or no thong.


I don't think anyone is talking about assaulting a woman dressed provocatively. It's more about having a certain physical feature make a grand entrance unintentionally. The losing control aspect for guys is getting physically aroused by it, feeling distracted, worked up, perhaps a little dizzy, and the need for a trip to the restroom, etc. If I were a man, I would find that intrusive, just like as a woman having a man slap my buns, go shirtless, or say _I'm a hunka burning luv little mama_.

In an environment that is not supposed to be sexual, this can be an honest problem for a man. (and in some workplaces would qualify as sexual harassment even). Most forms of employment require that some people be in authority and others in a submissive role. Because of the complexity of the power structures sexuality has potential to cause many problems. For example I am a teacher and I therefore dress appropriately for my job. If you are in employment in which your skills and intelligence are your livelihood, then it is wise to dress in a way to encourage people to focus on your intelligence and skills. How would you feel going to a oncologist who was wearing a thong with buns adrift in the breeze? Or even hiring an accountant who was shirtless? If they bring out a lack of focus in others, it is easy to think they themselves lack focus.

Yes, a woman is free to wear what she chooses, but men (and other women) are also free to form an opinion about it. You can reveal your body in environments where this is not expected, but there is a consequence most often being a loss of respect. That is simply reality. We cannot do anything we please and have complete control over the reactions of others. Everything in life is a give and take and all our choices should be weighed wisely.


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## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

archaic said:


> GaryUranga said:
> 
> 
> > Women dress like that to call attention, thats how they get it, she obviously wants attention, thats why they dress sexy or whatever, stuff.
> ...


What the hell are you talking about? Why do women want to feel sexy? In order to be sexy or feel sexy without being delusional there needs to be somebody to perceive that you are sexy. Whether that be a woman or a man. If not, I suppose someone could smear crap all over him/herself, wear a pink thong, and run around the neighborhood feeling sexy.


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## shelly (Jul 29, 2006)

[Maybe for some women, but that's hardly the case for all! I know I don't dress for YOU. Plenty of women dress "sexy" because THEY want to feel sexy. I think guys are too wrapped up in themselves and think anything sexually attractive is aimed at them.

:agree ]

I wear thongs all the time. They are very comfortable and I like the way the make me look. I dont do it to turn guys on, I dont even think like that.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

archaic said:


> GaryUranga said:
> 
> 
> > Women dress like that to call attention, thats how they get it, she obviously wants attention, thats why they dress sexy or whatever, stuff.
> ...


Yes but how do you feel sexy? You get it from other people reacting positively to your beauty. So if you are heterosexual you will be looking for men's reactions. Psychology says you get your view of self and self-esteem from gathering info from others. All people do this.

To me people that dress overtly sexy should not be pissed at the reactions they get from other people. Like some women wear really low cut shirts and then get pissed if your eyes wander. But what do they want people to do. Our eyes don't just zone in on your face our eyes are made to view a larger area. And if the eyes had a narrow visual area and only zoned in on the other person's eyes there would be no point in wearing low cut shirts.


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## Lil Miss Fire (Nov 6, 2003)

When I choose what underwear type I am going to wear I base it off of what I am going to be wearing that day and what I am going to be doing that day.

For example on a work day 99% of the time I will wear a thong because they are comfortable, and I dont have to worry about panty lines showing, or underwear bunching up from all the climbing up and down ladders I have to do. But when I do wear thongs and low-rise pants, I make sure that my shirt is long enough to cover whatever would show. I dont like seeing other peoples crack, so I dont show mine lol. I perfere dressing with stlye and taste over dressing like a **** or an attention ***** lol.


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## instil (Aug 19, 2005)

*Re: okay girls...do you know what you're wearing?*



niko said:


> If you put on a thong or g-string and clothed yourself -- went to work -- and just went about your day, is it possible for you to forget that you have that sexy apparel down there?
> 
> There's this chick in my office, and she is mad....mad....madly tempting me. Forget about a mere coinslot (you know what that is ) -- this chick was revealing a quarter of her bottom.


the amazing thing about this is i had the EXACT same situation when i was also 21. (it was also the thing that kept me at that job for another 2 years after she got hired) Our situations are the same down to the smallest detail....i couldnt WAIT until that check printer ran out of checks :b

it was definately a flirty, attention thing for me and her (i dont know the specifics with you and her so its hard to say). the other girls in the office you to say 'you know shes just teasing you walking around like that..etc,etc.'

having been there...let me just tell you.......it does NOT get easier to deal with mentally. 
I'll see you in the 'tell us about your crush' thread, in no more than two weeks from right now....i can see it now.


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## medea (May 6, 2006)

> In an environment that is not supposed to be sexual, this can be an honest problem for a man. (and in some workplaces would qualify as sexual harassment even). Most forms of employment require that some people be in authority and others in a submissive role. Because of the complexity of the power structures sexuality has potential to cause many problems. For example I am a teacher and I therefore dress appropriately for my job. If you are in employment in which your skills and intelligence are your livelihood, then it is wise to dress in a way to encourage people to focus on your intelligence and skills. How would you feel going to a oncologist who was wearing a thong with buns adrift in the breeze? Or even hiring an accountant who was shirtless? If they bring out a lack of focus in others, it is easy to think they themselves lack focus.
> 
> Yes, a woman is free to wear what she chooses, but men (and other women) are also free to form an opinion about it. You can reveal your body in environments where this is not expected, but there is a consequence most often being a loss of respect. That is simply reality. We cannot do anything we please and have complete control over the reactions of others. Everything in life is a give and take and all our choices should be weighed wisely


Yes but not everyone has a "professional" job so the issue about people not taking you seriously isn't even an issue for some. I'm a student assistant, I don't get paid as much as staff but I do get more freedom in what I can wear. There is a lot of physical work and I hate the panty bunch thing so much.

Also in reply to the person who says you have to have others around in order to feel sexy I totally disagree with that. It's comparable to a girl playing dress up, little girls don't do that to run around outside, often they get personal pleasure from dressing up, wearing makeup even if their moms won't let them go out in it etc. I am like that still as an adult, I shave my legs, curl my hair and make myself up sometimes even if I'm not planning on going out or even seeing anyone, it just gives me personal pleasure. Even going to sleep I like to shave my legs and wear something sexy sometimes even if I'm sleeping alone. Maybe that's just a difference between me and a guy.


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## Mngirl (Jul 13, 2006)

I am with you lil miss fire, I wear thongs a lot at work because I have to wear dress pants and most women would rather wear a thong than have their panty lines show. I was at work one day and I guess my thong was showing because my boss cam eup and whispered in my ear "nice pink thong!" (she is a women). I was kind of embarassed, mostly because since she is older I dont think she realizes that most younger people do wear thongs with black pants, to avoid the embarassment of pantylines.


In fact, when I was in high school-few years ago, if you wore dress pants and didnt wear a thong with them people would probably make fun of you for it.

However, if you do wear a thong to feel sexy, it makes sense for women to want to feel sexy for themselves and not just for men or other people. Just like wearing makeup, sometimes you just want to look good to feel good. We all have different motives though I guess.


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## mels (Nov 11, 2003)

i dont understand why the wedgie (courtesy of thongs) is preferable to the vpl...


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## VelvetElvis (Apr 29, 2006)

I think _everyone _ should wear burkas. That goes for men and women. If everyone looked the same from the outside, we'd only have each other's minds to focus on, which is the only thing that has any staying value. Sexual attraction only makes us weak. Weak, I tell ya!


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## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

VelvetElvis said:


> If everyone looked the same from the outside, we'd only have each other's minds to focus on, which is the only thing that has any staying value.


 That's why I like it when I don't know what people look like on the Internet.


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

Equisgurl said:


> Ick.. tell me about it, IMO women showing their *** are basically attention whores, shes doing it on purpose, those things arent even comfortable. I'll stick to my boyshorts thank you very much.


Totally agree!



> I hate low rise jeans with a passion! That's all they sell now! Arghhhh!


Tell me about it, lol. I have been waiting for years for those dreaded pants to go out of style. I know a girl who was so fed up with these silly fashions, that she started designing clothing of her own, clothing that is comfortable, yet pretty, and actually fits the human form properly.


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## cakesniffer (Nov 11, 2003)

I hate low rise as well. I have a short lower torso, so the jeans sit low and are hella long. I'm always picking up my pants, both top and bottom. :lol

I've never tried a thong but it doesn't look comfortable to me. I'm all about comfort. Like some girls have said above, I love boy shorts! They're cute and you get more material for your money. :b


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## Maseur Shado (Jun 7, 2005)

scairy said:


> Yes but how do you feel sexy? You get it from other people reacting positively to your beauty. So if you are heterosexual you will be looking for men's reactions. Psychology says you get your view of self and self-esteem from gathering info from others. All people do this.


I'm going to have to agree with this perspective. I don't necessarily LIKE to...but it is the truth. If you're truly dressing sexy for yourself (how that works, I don't know)...well, you'd be wearing the sexy underwear without revealing it to anyone. And you might be walking around with an odd little expression on your face...but you sure as hell wouldn't be telling anyone the reason why...if it was truly for yourself.


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## GaryUranga (Apr 22, 2006)

archaic said:


> GaryUranga said:
> 
> 
> > Women dress like that to call attention, thats how they get it, she obviously wants attention, thats why they dress sexy or whatever, stuff.
> ...


like everyone said, "feeling sexy" comes from getting the attention form the opposite sex, if anyone dresses sexy its to APPEAR sexy its associated to to other people, same reason why one doesnt feel self concious when you know youre looking good.


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## Roamer (Jun 17, 2006)

Maseur Shado said:


> scairy said:
> 
> 
> > Yes but how do you feel sexy? You get it from other people reacting positively to your beauty. So if you are heterosexual you will be looking for men's reactions. Psychology says you get your view of self and self-esteem from gathering info from others. All people do this.
> ...


That's exactly what I do. I own one thong and I have a smirk on my face the whole day!! (and nobody knows why...heheh)


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Maseur Shado said:


> scairy said:
> 
> 
> > Yes but how do you feel sexy? You get it from other people reacting positively to your beauty. So if you are heterosexual you will be looking for men's reactions. Psychology says you get your view of self and self-esteem from gathering info from others. All people do this.
> ...


It's nothing to be ashamed of. I wish I had something to feel sexy about, lol. Maybe my arms but probably not.


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## tuna (Jun 25, 2006)

> Yes but how do you feel sexy? You get it from other people reacting positively to your beauty. So if you are heterosexual you will be looking for men's reactions. Psychology says you get your view of self and self-esteem from gathering info from others. All people do this.


The concept of what's considered sexy is a culturally influenced perception that we learn from a very young age. So whenever we want to attract someone or want to feel sexy we do those things that we learn are supposed to make us sexy. So to answer your question we feel sexy through other people's positive reactions to us like you said but we also feel sexy based on our own thoughts of what is sexy. The latter does not need to have another person present to make someone feel sexy. For example, a little while ago I decided to put on a little bit of makeup, mostly out of boredom, but it makes me feel sexy because in our culture makeup on a woman is sexy. I'm not planning on going out and no one's coming over so no one but my parents will see me with the makeup on. Another example is when I decide to shave my legs just because I feel like it. Since I don't like to expose my legs in public no one would know that I had shaved my legs so I wouldn't get any validation there. Nevertheless, it makes me feel sexy because I learned that smooth silky legs on a woman is considered sexy. In these cases, the thing that makes me feel sexy is not from other people's reactions but a learned idea of what is sexy. I like to be thought of as sexy by men but sometimes I also like to feel sexy because it feels good whether there is an audience to witness my sexiness or not.


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## medea (May 6, 2006)

You are very articulate tuna, thank for expressing that so well, I totally agree. 

I guess scented bubble baths and a relaxing leg shave before bed isn't something a guy would do but aren't there any things men do to make themselves feel sexy for their own pleasure or is it always about attracting women?


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## shelly (Jul 29, 2006)

I think with guys its always about attracting women. They don't understand that women like to do female things to make themselves feel good. Shaving, makeup, attractive clothes, fixing your hair, scents are to make me feel pretty and sexy. Guys think EVERYTHING is about them.


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## medea (May 6, 2006)

Apparently some can't even comprehend it's not always about them lol.


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## Meta Ridley (Jun 2, 2005)

Futures said:


> Women in thongs is the best thing since sliced bread :mushy


I like looking at them as well but it makes me feel guilty because they look pretty uncomfortable. I guess that's their choice to wear them though and female bodies are nice to look at :mushy

I don't look at girls who wear thongs or short skirts as someone who's desperate for male attention etc because that's a stupid generalisation to make.


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## Meta Ridley (Jun 2, 2005)

medea said:


> You are very articulate tuna, thank for expressing that so well, I totally agree.
> 
> I guess scented bubble baths and a relaxing leg shave before bed isn't something a guy would do but aren't there any things men do to make themselves feel sexy for their own pleasure or is it always about attracting women?


I do things like exercising because I worry when I get a gf that she won't like my body I don't really feel sexy most of the time but I guess that's the S.A talking :stu .... most guys probably don't do anything and just assume they're sexy lol.


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## tuna (Jun 25, 2006)

Thanks Medea.



> I don't look at girls who wear thongs or short skirts as someone who's desperate for male attention etc because that's a stupid generalisation to make.
> 
> Exactly! It would be like accusing someone who works out and as a result has a nice physique of being vain and too into themselves. It's an assumption based on popular generalizations.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

tuna said:


> > Yes but how do you feel sexy? You get it from other people reacting positively to your beauty. So if you are heterosexual you will be looking for men's reactions. Psychology says you get your view of self and self-esteem from gathering info from others. All people do this.
> 
> 
> The concept of what's considered sexy is a culturally influenced perception that we learn from a very young age. So whenever we want to attract someone or want to feel sexy we do those things that we learn are supposed to make us sexy. So to answer your question we feel sexy through other people's positive reactions to us like you said but we also feel sexy based on our own thoughts of what is sexy. The latter does not need to have another person present to make someone feel sexy. For example, a little while ago I decided to put on a little bit of makeup, mostly out of boredom, but it makes me feel sexy because in our culture makeup on a woman is sexy. I'm not planning on going out and no one's coming over so no one but my parents will see me with the makeup on. Another example is when I decide to shave my legs just because I feel like it. Since I don't like to expose my legs in public no one would know that I had shaved my legs so I wouldn't get any validation there. Nevertheless, it makes me feel sexy because I learned that smooth silky legs on a woman is considered sexy. In these cases, the thing that makes me feel sexy is not from other people's reactions but a learned idea of what is sexy. I like to be thought of as sexy by men but sometimes I also like to feel sexy because it feels good whether there is an audience to witness my sexiness or not.


But what determined that shaved legs are sexy? Society did. Men liked women with smooth legs. At the root sexyness is determined by sex appeal which in traditional america was determined by the opposite sex. Not saying a man has to be present for a women to feel sexy. I'm simply saying those things that tend to make women feel sexy are things that men find sexually appealing.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

tuna said:


> Thanks Medea.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


This comparison doesn't really work. If someone that works out is walking around in normal clothing no one is going to make this assumption because the person is clothed. If however a guy walks around with his shirt off looking at his reflection in store windows you could then make the assumption and in my opinion you would be fairly accurate.

As for the short skirt comment it depends on how short the skirt is and also if they know how to properly keep themselves covered with it. The thong isn't even a problem if it is covered. But letting it all hang out just seems so improper. It's like the guys that have their pants hanging down so low you see their boxers. Why don't they just walk around in boxers or pull their pants up?


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## omgnoudidnt (Jan 8, 2005)

Actually, the new trend is not wearing underwear at all.


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## Whimsy (Mar 16, 2006)

maggiemae84 said:


> Actually, the new trend is not wearing underwear at all.


 :um I'll stick to my granny panties thank you very much lol.


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## niko (Jul 2, 2005)

..


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## tuna (Jun 25, 2006)

> But what determined that shaved legs are sexy? Society did.


That's what I said.


> The concept of what's considered sexy is a culturally influenced perception that we learn from a very young age.


In your earlier post you said that people feel sexy from other people's reactions to them and will look for confirmation from others which I agreed with. However now you say that it is possible to feel sexy without someone present which is what I said but contradicts your earlier post unless you're saying that one can feel sexy from others *and* one can feel sexy alone. If that's the case then we're saying the same thing.

The idea of what is sexy is a deeply ingrained thought in our brains determined by our culture. Those strong thoughts correlate into strong feelings about what is sexy. Feeling sexy is seen as a positive feeling in our society. Positive feelings make people feel good and is something that everyone strives for. The concept of sexy is *affected* by other people but the act of doing or wearing something sexy is not always *for* other people. Instead it can be to gain that positive feeling within themselves so that they feel good.


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## tuna (Jun 25, 2006)

> This comparison doesn't really work. If someone that works out is walking around in normal clothing no one is going to make this assumption because the person is clothed. If however a guy walks around with his shirt off looking at his reflection in store windows you could then make the assumption and in my opinion you would be fairly accurate.


The comparison does work because both are being judged by outward appearances based on popular stereotypes to determine the character and personality of the person.

It's nice that you wouldn't assume something about someone who works out because they're clothed but I've heard people stereotyping others who like to work out even though they were fully dressed.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

> In your earlier post you said that people feel sexy from other people's reactions to them and will look for confirmation from others which I agreed with. However now you say that it is possible to feel sexy without someone present which is what I said but contradicts your earlier post unless you're saying that one can feel sexy from others and one can feel sexy alone. If that's the case then we're saying the same thing.


My point is even if you are alone your feeling of sexyness is determined by following the rituals of a culture. So essentially you may be alone and feel sexy but that sexy feeling came from an outward source (the society). Society says shaving your legs is sexy. Society says wearing a thong is sexy. It's what we do to fit into society.

My conclusion is even if you feel you are doing it to make yourself feel sexy or good the root cause is based off of others. Cultural pressures are powerful forces within a society.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

tuna said:


> > This comparison doesn't really work. If someone that works out is walking around in normal clothing no one is going to make this assumption because the person is clothed. If however a guy walks around with his shirt off looking at his reflection in store windows you could then make the assumption and in my opinion you would be fairly accurate.
> 
> 
> The comparison does work because both are being judged by outward appearances based on popular stereotypes to determine the character and personality of the person.
> ...


Assuming the woman is wearing an unusually short skirt she is dressing provocatively. If the man that works out is fully clothed these are total opposites. If a woman with a good body is fully clothed people aren't going to make negative assumptions about her. At least the majority aren't.

If I see some guy in tight, short shorts I'm going to be making an assumption that he is looking for attention.

I guess we agree to disagree.


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## tuna (Jun 25, 2006)

> My point is even if you are alone your feeling of sexyness is determined by following the rituals of a culture. So essentially you may be alone and feel sexy but that sexy feeling came from an outward source (the society). Society says shaving your legs is sexy. Society says wearing a thong is sexy. It's what we do to fit into society.
> 
> My conclusion is even if you feel you are doing it to make yourself feel sexy or good the root cause is based off of others. Cultural pressures are powerful forces within a society.


That's what I said in my posts so I agree. What makes you feel a certain way about anything is a learned perspective from your surroundings. When someone does something to make themselves feel good it's so they can experience good feelings within themselves based off of what they learn from their culture. It's not to make someone else feel good because the focus is on themselves and their feelings.

If I decided to dress sexy for someone else, say a boyfriend, then his reactions to what I was wearing for him would be my focus. His approval of what I looked like would be my focus. If he liked what he saw then I would be thrilled. If he didn't I would be crushed. The way I felt would be totally determined by him. However, if I decided to dress sexy for myself, then my focus would be on my own internal feelings and my own approval of how I looked and felt. My approval of how I looked or felt would matter the most. That's what people mean when they say they're doing something for themselves and not others.

Yes the basis for how we feel and think about things stems from our culture but that doesn't mean everything we do is to satisfy others. It's like if I started working out because I wanted to achieve a nice lean physique because it would give me joy. In our culture lean physiques are worshipped and thought of as the ideal so many people want to look that way. However I wouldn't be working out because I wanted to give joyous feelings to others when they looked at my new body but rather I wanted to experience those feelings within myself.


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## GaryUranga (Apr 22, 2006)

Maybe you dont realize it but.. it is... dressing sexy for "yourself" is only so you can feel good about how other perceive you, because youre happy with it.. maybe conciously youll say "Im dressing like this for myself" but in the back of your head other reasons are hidden, it if were just to feel good about yourself youd wear pjs everywhere or something confortable, OR go around naked.


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## medea (May 6, 2006)

> Maybe you dont realize it but.. it is... dressing sexy for "yourself" is only so you can feel good about how other perceive you, because youre happy with it.. maybe conciously youll say "Im dressing like this for myself" but in the back of your head other reasons are hidden, it if were just to feel good about yourself youd wear pjs everywhere or something confortable, OR go around naked.


Gary I don't see where you get the nerve to tell people their motivations with such confidence esp when the people you're doing it to are strangers of a totally different gender. I just can't take it serious when you make generalizations like that.


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## GaryUranga (Apr 22, 2006)

lol


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## medea (May 6, 2006)

It's so condescending, reminds me of this one scene from this show on BBC2 called the Office.



> In the final episode of "The Office," Gervais uses a dating service to find a date for the company Christmas party. In the first minutes at dinner with one of the dates, he comments on her lovely necklace. Then, to show off his intelligence, tells her why women "really" wear necklaces: to draw attention to their breasts.


The chick is like well um no I wear it because it belonged to my dead mother which Gervais replies oh well she wore it to draw attention to HER breasts then.


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## JonDalone (Aug 14, 2006)

Okay I don't know how this topic got to dead people but let me bring it back to a lighter note.

Anyways, The average male masturbates at least once a day, and even this might be an understatement. 

Recent studies have shown that masturbation rises when stimulus is involuntary. Meaning if a sexy girl comes to work that means that is used essentially in place of the porno mag or with my generation, the classic porno video on your video ipod/psp/other player/pda/video phone/whatever.

-Technology may be enhanced but the volume of ejaculate does not change because the naked woman is viewed in high definition. 

-Raul Gonzalez. Long time Friend.


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## shelly (Jul 29, 2006)

guys are just very very weird


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## Restless Mind (Jul 19, 2006)

JonDalone said:


> Anyways, The average male masturbates at least once a day, and even this might be an understatement.


Damn straight. Sometimes twice. I even feel a void and can have trouble falling sleeping if I haven't masturbated that day. I'm _probably_ the horniest guy on this website. Uh huh, yup.


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## Becky (Nov 5, 2003)

Restless Mind said:


> JonDalone said:
> 
> 
> > Anyways, The average male masturbates at least once a day, and even this might be an understatement.
> ...


I wouldn't say that it's only men who have a sex drive and masturbate. Women just don't talk about it as much


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## rjridley (Jul 28, 2005)

maggiemae84 said:


> Actually, the new trend is not wearing underwear at all.


:int

Are you part of that trend? :con


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

Becky said:


> Restless Mind said:
> 
> 
> > JonDalone said:
> ...


 :agree


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## JonDalone (Aug 14, 2006)

Honestly this has been one of my biggest problems.

I believe in Qi gong which means you have 7 chakras that your life force flows through. I feel by continually ejaculating by manual force (not through sex) I am draining my jing essence energy and slowly losing more and more energy. 

Luckily I have been taking valerian to help knock me out before I get the chance to break out the vaseline, HAHAHA.

But I'm going to take it one day at a time. I'll promise only to do it once, if at all, and hopefully eventually none at all. I'm not saying it's wrong but, don't most of you feel depleted after doing it?

If you don't do it the taoist way you are left feeling drained and actually more insomniatic than before. It's a horrible addiction that I need to get under control. But I think I've unlocked some kind of dam of sexual energy by messing around with pressure points because every time I lie down on my stomach I get a hard on!

I remember the days I used to get one just by seeing a girl on the bus with a mini-skirt. I don't want those days to come again!!! 

I must stay away from Ginko or any other aphrodesiadic, sexual boosting herbs.


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## omgnoudidnt (Jan 8, 2005)

rjridley said:


> maggiemae84 said:
> 
> 
> > Actually, the new trend is not wearing underwear at all.
> ...


maybe 

:lol Actually no, I'm not. I can't say that I'll never do it, because I've been tempted but so far its been a little to riske for me.


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## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

JonDalone said:


> Honestly this has been one of my biggest problems.
> 
> I believe in Qi gong which means you have 7 chakras that your life force flows through. I feel by continually ejaculating by manual force (not through sex) I am draining my jing essence energy and slowly losing more and more energy.
> 
> ...


ahahahah I don't feel depleted or depressed. I feel one with the universe. Sometimes, anyway.


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## medea (May 6, 2006)

Another question, if being sexy is all about others then why are their so many girls that feel utterly repulsive even if others find them very attractive? Girls who are rail thin and feel fat even though others say they're not, models who feel ugly etc. If our sense of sexy is based on others view of us then this kind of stuff wouldn't occur as often as it does.


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## GaryUranga (Apr 22, 2006)

thats cause theyve got a messed up self image, but that doesnt mean that if they dress sexy they arent doing it for others


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## medea (May 6, 2006)

It just seems weak to be so convinced that feeling sexy comes from others opinions 100% all the time when you have so many women who are convinced that they're sexy at 95 lbs even though most people would be more than a little repulsed by it.

What about the opposite end? People who are 300 lbs and dress in daisy dukes and tube tops, I'm sure they don't get too many positive reactions from people. Both of those cases suggest to me that we have our own ideas what is sexy and it's not completely determined by concrete external reactions. 

Hell, look at drag queens even. I know a drag queen who dresses up to feel sexy but doesn't go out to show off or whatever. How can you say that preference is determined by trying to look sexy for others?

I think having your idea of being sexy align with another ideas is something a lot of us are lucky to have but there are also a lot of people who have ideas of sexiness that don't align so I think the whole thing is less cut n dry than you make it out to be.


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