# Quiet loner with no communication skills forced to enter extroverted career



## Setolac (Jul 26, 2009)

I need your guys opinion on this.

What do you think would happen to a person who has these attributes:


Quiet - Rarely talks and struggles in initiating and maintaining conversations
Not talkative - (having an average of less than 20 words/day)
Zero communication skills - Weak voice that isn't that clear, problem in accessing words to be used verbally, small vocabulary during oral conversations
Introverted - Learned to be comfortable in being alone most of the time
Loner - can no longer deal with being around people for too long
No Friends - not a single person that can be called "friend"
No Girlfriend since birth - no experience with this since birth
Poor working memory - Have trouble accessing short-term memory

If you *force* this person to enter a job reserved for normal extroverts that involves talking to other people 80% of the time.

What do you think would happen to this person?


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## Crimson Lotus (Jul 26, 2013)

There's a small yet non insignificant chance of that person improving massively just because of the pressure and necessity to adapt. But even if that happens it would an incredibly difficult and painful process.

The other, more likely option, is to simply become overwhelmed and being unable to perform in that career.


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## firestar (Jun 27, 2009)

I guess it depends on what the career is. You could say that happened to me. I fit that description almost exactly when I started my job and I learned to adapt. It was a terrible process and took a lot of work, but I managed it. So it's not impossible.


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## skys (Mar 14, 2014)

Sounds like my future if I get the job I want, lol. A lot of days I don't say one word aloud but if I go into healthcare I'll have to communicate the majority of the time at work.


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## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

DerSteppenwolf said:


> *There's a small yet non insignificant chance of that person improving massively just because of the pressure and necessity to adapt.* But even if that happens it would an incredibly difficult and painful process.
> 
> The other, more likely option, is to simply become overwhelmed and being unable to perform in that career.


This.

It would definitely painful and hard but it would pay off.


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## jamie1029 (Mar 1, 2014)

This person would not freeze up and die. This would not be a terrible idea. However, I do not discount the fact that choosing to partake in this role would be probably the most challenging thing yet. However, if being lonely, being out of touch, and being away from people is causing you to be depressed, then this job can do nothing but benefit you in the long term. Regardless of what the outcome may be, you may last two days and get let go. You may stay there for a month and be the most miserable person in the office. Or you might barely manage, but survive.

In all cases, you would have learnt something, you would have learnt more about yourself and how you respond to certain situations. The fight or flight response in your brain would have improved for the better ever so slightly.

What I'm saying is the absolute worst thing an introvert can do is to give into his feelings and stay introverted. So get out there, always challenge yourself (at the level you are capable of, or even more if possible), and forever learn to try to get to where you want to be in this short life.


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## jamie1029 (Mar 1, 2014)

The reason staying introverted is bad for an introvert is it reinforces the beliefs that are causing him to be introverted in the first place. I think social anxiety is driven by two main forces. 

The first, is unfortunately, to do with genetics. A sensitivity to external stimuli, exaggerated fight or flight response, poorer working memory etc. We can't change that, its just how we were made, and we just need to accept it. That is us. However, the second point is to do with beliefs and experience. This is where constant exposure to the very things that cause us discomfort can only help, because it changes those beliefs and builds experience that will get us to react differently (i.e. more favourably with regards to the things we fear).


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## ICat (Jul 21, 2012)

well something similar happened to me when I had my job few years ago. It wasn't super extroverted job, but involved a lot of communication with team members. I haven't had much problem talking about job-stuff, but I was a complete loner when it came to non-job related conversations. Honestly, I think you just adapt to a certain point to do you job "well enough" but that's it. You aren't going to become extroverted. 
I quit that job because I couldn't stand it, too much pretending, fake stuff for me. And now I am back to my old introverted self.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

Surprised you'd even be able to get the job.

Then you'd either adapt or die.


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## The Phantom Pain (Oct 6, 2010)

Every job is "reserved for extroverts" these days. You have to force it if you don't want to starve to death or end up on the streets.


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## blueidealist26 (Dec 16, 2012)

I had a job where I had to fake being much more extroverted than I am (I'm probably a bit less introverted than many on here, but still fall on the introverted side of the spectrum) and I could do the job but found it exhausting to put on a "stage personality."


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## Steppingwolf (Mar 23, 2014)

*My Personal Experience about This*

Everybody is different, so it really will depend on the person. I can only speak from my own personal experience. I got a promotion a few years ago and managed the department of a company I am still employed to, though I have had to take a Leave of Absence.

Over time, the company expanded, and my role took on more and more responsibilities. Though it was tough at first, I did well, but recently I have reached my breaking point. I was constantly having to socially interact, set up meetings, lead in decisions and having to represent my department at company meetings. When the company was smaller it was hard for me, and just became tougher as the company grew.

I would advise this person to take smaller steps, because just jumping into what you've outlined could become a major set-back, a real confidence killer.


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## Tone (Oct 12, 2012)

The person would break down & lose the job & have to apply for disability, because the person is both highly inhibited and anxious from profoundly different neurochemistry & the person is forced into loneliness with no friends, no affection, no human touch with a life that is destroyed into constant suffering.


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## Tone (Oct 12, 2012)

Steppingwolf said:


> Everybody is different, so it really will depend on the person. I can only speak from my own personal experience. I got a promotion a few years ago and managed the department of a company I am still employed to, though I have had to take a Leave of Absence.
> 
> Over time, the company expanded, and my role took on more and more responsibilities. Though it was tough at first, I did well, but recently I have reached my breaking point. I was constantly having to socially interact, set up meetings, lead in decisions and having to represent my department at company meetings. When the company was smaller it was hard for me, and just became tougher as the company grew.
> 
> I would advise this person to take smaller steps, because just jumping into what you've outlined could become a major set-back, a real confidence killer.


We dont need any of this talk about smaller steps -- what we need is things that work for a person in constant torture. Like to allow GHB and opioids, to allow drugs that are effective, and to have a different society where ALL people have a lover who mutually support each other in goodness & light

anything else is just making things up because theres no solution for torture & suffering.


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## hall665 (Mar 15, 2014)

I agree with taking smaller steps, if possible. Going from 0 to 60 probably would not help this person, so it'd help if you started at a position where there was more like 20-40 percent interaction.

Also, if the person can focus on some aspect of the job they particularly like (even if it's just getting a good, steady paycheck), then that can really help with adaptability.


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## TheLastDreamer (Mar 27, 2014)

I have the same problem. 

I grew up dreaming that one day I would become a Fashion Designer. My worst nightmare was becoming a programmer or a coder...and that is what I have become. And I am terribly bad at it    Everything was forced upon me by Parents, relatives, etc.. They dictated my life and I had no other choice but to be dependant on them.

My job involves meetings, group discussions, analysis, coding skills... and I have none of these. I consider myself a wallflower. I have been told that I have good communication skills but I hardly communicate with anyone in my workplace. I am not social either. I can pass a day off without even uttering a single word. It doesn't matter anymore.

I assume that people think of me as being rude and unfriendly because I don't make eye contact with them and pass them by without looking at their face and telling a 'Hi'. But the truth is....i want to but just can't look up at others faces :/ When I do, I am overcome with shock and I panic and my words get mixed up. So I avoid people.


I don't know the exact reason why I became like this. Maybe it could be because I grew up in an unhappy, violent home (I can't remember the time when my parents never fought or argued -_-). Or maybe because my parents never supported my decisions. Or maybe because we always moved places and never really talked to the neighbours. 

I wish something happens to me..like I fall from the cliff accidentlly and everything ends..forever!!!!!!!!!!


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