# i need a job...but im afraid to work...how do you cope with it?



## barb8812

im almost 21 years old and have only had one job...i was a waitress. it was the worst two years of my life and i'm so scared to get back out there in the work field and find a job. i currently haven't worked for two years straight...i'm in desperate need of money and i really do want to work. but my fear and anxiety is holding me back. i feel so bad because i always depend on my parents for everything, but i can't do that forever. i just always make excuses and say college is eating up all of my time and i dont have time for a job...which isn't quite true. i get really uncomfortable because i blush excessively and its always seemed to interfer with work and school so im trying to look for a job that i can avoid blushing as much as possible but i just dont know anymore. i wanna stop being afraid and just do it, but its always in the back of my mind and i can't conquer this...:/
how does everyone else just deal with their anxiety and just go get a job? what type of jobs do you have?


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## Ohio Fatso

I'm a civil engineer. I work, but with a huge amount of anxiety, worry, and stress. Everybody knows it. I can't hide it from anyone. The reason I keep on doing it is because I don't want to be a burden on my family and I would die before I would ever ask someone for money again. I grew up in a house with my old man yelling at me all the time, making me feel very guilty for costing him money. I would not go through that again. That's why I must work. There's no choice.


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## euphoria

barb8812 said:


> how does everyone else just deal with their anxiety and just go get a job? what


Three choices:


Just force yourself to go for the job, and probably lose a bit more self-respect in the process of realising SA doesn't tend to go away.

See a psychologist, get all that CBTish stuff sorted and probably do a little better than you would've without therapy.

Take some nice tasty drugs/medication. Yum.

Obviously you can guess which one I choose.


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## Cerrada

I got lucky and work for a really small private business. I just stuff envelopes and input things into their system. It's the first job that I've had (even though it's part-time). I know the boss personally too so I feel comfortable around her and I doubt I would get fired anytime soon....unless I screwed up really bad.

Honestly I don't know if I have the ability of getting a job on my own. The only reason I have the job I have now is because the owner is my best friend's mom. I didn't need an interview or anything. I just showed up for work and that was it. The only reason she hired me is because she likes my work ethic and that I'm really mature for my age.

But even though I have a job I'm still in desperate need of money as well. Instead of looking for another job though I'm going to cheat and start my own business (which honestly scares me). I'm afraid that no one would hire me because of how awkward I am. But hell, I gotta try. Or else I'll have to drop out of school and end up with 20k loan debt for nothing. : /


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## jellybelly

Well I'm 23 and have never had a job. I just phoned the job centre today, a year after finishing university and the phone call was horrible enough. I don't know how I'm going to cope. The only jobs out there seem to ask for confident people with experience in a customer-facing role. So I've rarely bothered applying for any.

I suppose you could just try to find jobs in smaller companies with a few employees or at least not something so overwhelming as waitressing. Or maybe you could try waitressing again and tackle your SA head on? Going to a therapist and working on your anxiety might help. But I am really in no position to offer advice when it comes to jobs!

Good Luck


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## bht96

I totally understand. I am 28 years old and have not worked for two years. When I did work I was miserable because of my fear. I tried to get a job after a year and a half of not working but I had a near nervous breakdown and I quit after just a few days. I realized that it's not going to get any better until I got help. Is there any way that your parents can pay for therapy? I have had severe social anxiety for as long as I can remember but I can finally say that I have gotten a handle on it and finally turned the corner. The way I did it was finding a cognitive behavioral therapist who was an expert in treating SA and anxiety disorders. I think you understand that our anxiety comes from our irrational views about the world. I believe you would be better off working constructively on your thoughts and perceptions in order to think in a more rational way before you get another job. The best way to do this would be to work with a therapist for a few months. A CBT therapist will give you homework assignments and reading material show you how to challenge your fears in a controlled environment until you can show yourself that other people are not as dangerous or threatening as you previously thought. Oh, and it would also be very helpful if the therapist also holds group sessions because you can talk to other people with similar problems and you won't have to try to hide your SA. Anyway, it has really worked for me and I hope you can find a way to do this before you get another job, or at least sometime in the near future. I'm sorry that I didn't give advice on types of jobs that would be less stressful for you. Hopefully, others will give you some good advice if you absolutely need a job right now.


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## barb8812

thanks for the advice everyone. i really do want to get therapy...im working up the courage right now...i know my parents know that i have a problem especially dealing with blushing because they've seen it first hand. but its kind of a topic we dont really discuss at home for some reason. i wanna just come out with it and be like "this is what i have, deal with it." but its a process i guess. im so filled with fear that im nervous to tell my parents and meet with a therapist and ask my parents to pay for sessions but i'm trying...slowly but surely to working up to it and discuss it with them...


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## Kwtrader

i have not worked for a year and 8 months and its very tough and often times depressing because i have big problems going into places to go get a job. 

atleast when the economy was better i put in my minimal effort and can get something but minimal effort does not work anymore. so i'm basically screwed. all im hoping for is maybe i get lucky on something i apply for online which i dont even apply to much cause i just see jobs and feel like there are so many i don't qualify or have specific skills for or i think about the environment and people that may work at these places and i don't apply. 

the only times i got jobs was when i walked into temp places they give me something right away in the past. only once i got a job from applying online but it didnt work out.

yesterday i was just cussing randomly out loud on my way home and people can hear it cause im so frustrated with my inability to go inside some of these temp places. i dont know why i have this mental block that i cant go in.


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## epril

The job I've had for 8 years now is caregiver for the elderly. It's pretty easy, boring, but I have one and sometimes 2 people to care for. A lot of times the people are tired and don't talk much, so its easier on us with SA. As long as I'm doing household chores and caring for their safety, I can read or write or watch tv. Don't have to stand much. One hard part for me is when I sit down to eat lunch with them, even though I may have known them awhile, I still feel uncomfortable talking, but I still do it. And most of the people I've cared for are very nice and just want someone they can depend on.


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## yellowpaper

I'm approaching 21 too and am in the same position, but I've never had a job.


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## Shannon

Cerrada said:


> Instead of looking for another job though I'm going to cheat and start my own business (which honestly scares me).


I just started my own business earlier this month because it's really tough for job hunters right now and wanted something for extra cash...plus it's something you can always have and you can be your own boss. I've recently graudated from college and received my teaching credential earlier this year....I'm going into teaching, but it's really hard right now because all they ever do is lay off teachers left and right anymore so since subsutitue teaching is breaking soon when school does next month that's why I recently decided to start my own tutoring business. Other than that, I've applied for so many jobs, but really got nothing back except I've been offered a well paying tutoring position with a local school district, but it won't start until September. So in other words, I'll be really glad in a couple months when school starts back up so I can really make a lot more $ working 3 jobs (subsitute teaching, tutoring for the school district, and my own tutoring business).


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## SAgirl

Ohio Fatso said:


> I grew up in a house with my old man yelling at me all the time, making me feel very guilty for costing him money.


Sounds like my dad

I have to get a job, too. I'm really depressed right now, but I think it's my boredom that is causing it.


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## kos

and this is why i work nights.


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## Hellosunshine

I am starting a job next week and I am really scared. It's going to be the most high profile, high interactions one I've ever had. I see all these people in my age group doing something and getting these great internships. Don't hold yourself back in life. The interview is hell but it's easier to play a character and be really polite and look really happy, and bubbly. The only thing is that jobs are so mentally draining not because of the work but because of all the interactions. You'll meet lots of personalities and chances are you won't be the only quiet one there. Just make sure to do the tasks well and know you are there to work not socialize.


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## moosh01

I am the same. I am 26 years old, have been in college since high school, so what, like 8 years? I'm scared to not be in school and have to work. I've also used the excuse of not being able to work because I'm too busy with school. Granted it might be a bit true because I'm a perfectionist and must get A's in every class and it takes up alot of time, but I admit part of it is an excuse because I'm afraid to work.

My solution is that I work with children.. I've been working summers and part-time weekends lately. Only REALLY scary part of the day is when I have to communicate with parents, but other than that, they're just children. They don't judge as much as adults. Don't get me wrong, I still get scared working with children. When I have to plan activities for them, or do a group lesson, I'm way to critical of myself and what the children will think. But in general, I find children WAY easier to work with than with adults.


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## VCL XI

I only apply for night labor, stocking, warehouse schlub work, etc. The more desperate I am for money, the more motivated I get to apply.


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## Canadian Brotha

I've not been working for almost 3 years now & I'm 21. Once you've been out for this amount of time it really is nerve racking trying to get back out there as my(our) thinking can be quite negative.

When I was working I had a job at pizza shop in which I was promoted to shift manager. I honestly knew a lot of the people I worked with which helped but I did keep to myself too, I would put others at the front & mind my business in the back when most other managers did the opposite. When I moved on to my next job as a night shift stocker/forklift operator it was again through a connection. The job itself is pretty good for avoidance but again once you do it it's hard to get back to a normal schedule. I left this job to attempt some post-secondary school but ended up dropping out & have not been back to school or working since.

My current plan is to apply part time at the new store that will be opening in the strip mall in front of our apartment building. If I can get hired & work through my anxieties I think it'll be a great starting point. I'm also trying therapy through a psychiatrist & medication as well. It is tough to be franks about it with your parents but eventually I just decided that it was necessary & told them. We still don't really discuss it to much as my family isn't one to do so but I think it's a positive if you can incorporate it


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## Black_Widow

Was unemployed for most of last year, and have been for this year so far too. With a job history that's already pretty sketchy my prospects for getting hired by anyone at this point are pretty slim - and unless somehow I can get therapy help in a much faster time than I've been led to expect thus far, or at least find a medication which works well enough to keep me calm enough to function reasonably well in a work environment it's going to be a fair while yet before I can consider working again. 

I'm currently coping because of the support of my parents, otherwise my situation would be pretty grim.


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## TeenyBeany

sit down and think of a list of positions that would suit your needs. For me it was working with a small company (15 or less employees), working in a cubicle (so i wouldnt have to talk to people), and the work needed to be full time. I ended up landing a job in telemarketing where I sat in a cubicle for 8 hours a day and talked on the phone. Have been with the company for 5 years. During my 3rd year they asked if I wanted to work from home (since i'm a reliable and trustworthy employee).
Hang in there. If you really think hard enough, you'll figure out what the best job is for you. There's a job out there for everyone


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## barb8812

thanks so much everyone. 
im just so filled with anxiety today, i'm just having a really rough day...reading some of your comments lifted me up a little!
i went to the mall today with my brother and almost had a nervous breakdown...ughh, i just gotta get through today and i'm hoping for a better day tomorrow. 

for you that have telemarketing jobs...how did you find those positions? that sounds pretty ideal to me with working independently and possibly in a cubicle.


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## Graye

Surprisingly, I love working, and deal with frontline positions really reall well. Work actually gives me confidence, and makes me feel a lot better even outside work.

My first job I got through my mom, and it was as a weekend receptionist. Except no one told me I'd have to work weekdays, talk over the PA very often, and herd the crowds when we had about a hundred or two people for an event. Being forced to do that probably 'fixed' a bit of my SA; I actually made friends there that I still keep in touch with.

The second job was as an assistant to IT, and I got to literally crawl around 15 huge offices. I went on and under desks, looking like an idiot with everyone wondering, then asking what I was doing. After a while, you just stop caring about looking/sounding stupid. That and the powertrip of being an employee, telling people what to do in your building/office helps to build confidence.

My worst job was the one where I did data entry, and didn't have to talk to anyone, but my supervisor. I was a temp, so no one really bothered either. It was more awkward cause when I got the chance to talk to people, it was hard to initiate cause we'd been ignoring one another for over a month.


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## blc1

My excessive blushing is also discouraging me from finding work. For no other reason am I terrified to be interviewed and interact with others daily. I don't have the confidence to hold down a job but dire need is propelling me. Unfortunately, we may have to blush our way through things if we want to engage people and be employed. Best luck to you


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## Sillouhette

Geeze barb. I'd say working as a waitress WITH SA had to have been torture. I couldn't do it but I have my own little business. I work alone and the money is very good. :yes I go for spells with no work at all then all of a sudden I'm swamped. You have to learn to put some money away for the lean times if possible. Find something at night maybe? Working at the post office wouldn't be a bad idea. I had a friend once who Hated people and she worked at the P.O. at night sorting mail. She loved it because she didn't have to deal with people. She had benefits too.


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## Sillouhette

Ew, Eww, EWWW. I just thought of the best job. Work in a greenhouse. VERY soothing for your anxieties working with Nature. :yes


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## barb8812

ohh i like the nature idea lol.
im also thinking about maybe getting a job at disneyland or something like that. of couse its dealing with lots of people but your working more outside and you just push people into rides and tell them to keep their arms and legs in during the ride lol. we'll see though, i'm just making a list of different part time jobs that i could start with to eventually working up to building my confidence.


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## gaz

I've just lost my job of 7 years due to the recession. I'm terrified of going to a new place to work because i had got used to the people i worked with, kind of like a second family. Now i'll have to start all over again.


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## barb8812

gaz said:


> I've just lost my job of 7 years due to the recession. I'm terrified of going to a new place to work because i had got used to the people i worked with, kind of like a second family. Now i'll have to start all over again.


omg i am so sorry. i can't imagine how that must feel...good luck to you! and i hope everything works out for you.


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## Sillouhette

barb8812 said:


> ohh i like the nature idea lol.
> im also thinking about maybe getting a job at disneyland or something like that. of couse its dealing with lots of people but your working more outside and you just push people into rides and tell them to keep their arms and legs in during the ride lol. we'll see though, i'm just making a list of different part time jobs that i could start with to eventually working up to building my confidence.


Hey!! Maybe you could wear a costume with a big head. Then you can be someone else!! :clap I could do that. It's like you have a cushion between you and everyone else. And if you screw up you can blame it on Minnie Mouse. Hahahahaha. :b


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## Zam

Hey, you guys heard of Internet marketing? It is creating your own website based on your own interests and generating enough traffic afterwards to earn money from advertisers. It is a LOT of HARDWORK and slow income. But if you have the time, try it.

Note: Don't fall into any Internet Marketeers sales gimmicks. You can create your own websites for free these days.


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## DeeperUnderstanding

I need to get a job too, but I'm scared of having to interact with people.


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## jnm123

i know exactly how you feel. ive had like 20 jobs and im 21. ive always quit because i feel like theres some kind of cliques and it really sucks being the "new girl". ive watiressed but it was always so hard on me but i was taking medication then.i dont think i could have done the job without it.


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## BeachGaBulldog

I have had a bunch of jobs too, so my history is pretty crappy. Most of it has been offices, warehouses with lots of people. I get so sick of the people with their cliques, talking all of the time, etc., and I just have to get out of there. I just don't work well around lots of people.


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## wintersunx3

I'm in a similiar situation. I'm 19 and i have never had a job. The thought of having a job..a daily routine in which i have to work closely with people all day long.. scares the heck out of me. I'm afraid the anxiety will just take over me if i get a job, and i'll end up quitting before i can even get fired. There are lots of jobs out there in which you don't have to work directly with people, but that could be a problem in my case, because my S.A.D. caused me to drop out of high school when i was 16. the anxiety was pretty much unbearable. without a high school diploma, i'm afraid my job options aren't that vast. i could work at a retail store or a restaraunt, but you have to work so closely with people there...and i fear that. =/ Good luck to you, just wanted you to know that i was having the same problem, you are not alone. <3


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## BeachGaBulldog

Every day when I job search, I see all kinds of jobs that(based on experience) I am just not able to do because they involve working with other people. My fear is always getting into a job that I know that I am going to hate, and feel like I am stuck in it. If it gets too unbearable, I have to get out. 
I have a job counselor who is working with me. He knows my personality, and knows that I am looking for something that will suit it. He has brought me some things, and I have applied but no luck.
Its useless to put me in a setting working with a bunch of people. Its not going to work. It never has and it never will. I am not going to change who I am. People are just going to have to accept me the way that I am.


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## nightrain

I _*need *_a job... I'm scared of interviews more than anything  Once I get a job, I think I'll be fine.


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## BeachGaBulldog

I think the whole job thing(especially the interview) is a game. These stupid employers with their cushy jobs and offices mess with peoples lives. I am tired of all of the "be prepared on your interview, and study up on questions that they might ask." I went on an interview a few weeks ago, and this guy asked me the good old, "Well, tell me about yourself". I just say a few things, basically wing it. Besides, it was in an office with a bunch of people, so I knew right off, nope this ain't happening.


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## marciano

It's funny how common the situation I'm in is: I quit my rather well paid but odious job 4 years ago to do some traveling, writing, and other things, but the 2 years I originally planned turned into 4, partly because of the financial crisis but definitely because of the SA. Now I have to face the music and find a new job (money's running out) but I dread the idea of being interviewed by a bunch of strangers. Absolutely stressful for me.

I am exercising lots, doing meditation/yoga and seeing a shrink, in hopes to find the right medication, although I have tried in the past with little success. Let's hope good ol' need for money will also motivate me to move forward.


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## sugaraddict

i worked as an RN and have to interact with people (lots of MEAN ones) on a daily basis...their families are the worse cause they demand everything and expect you to perform miracles....to be honest, i was the happiest when i was doing office work even if it was only 25% of what i made in the hospital...thats y i finally had to quit coz it ate up my sanity/happiness


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## torontoperson

Waiting tables is a difficult one for those with SA. I did it and thought I was utterly hopeless. However, since then, I feel like I have been utterly hopeless at everything. It makes me sad, but keep in mind, that there is a job out there that you will love.


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## shadow cougar

We all need jobs because money makes the world go round. Such a shame really, if only there was a simpler way.

I always find the interviews to be the most annoying. They just suck.

There has to be a better way.

Once I have the job, I just work to the best of my ability though the work demands of my current job and how the management treat you is extremely frustrating and demoralising. Luckily, what helps with that is that I'm not the only person who hates it here. The work is mind numbingly dull and often not really necessary, all for the sake of simply tiicking a box. After all, publi sector organisations like their paperwork, ticking boxes and achieving targets. Everything else is secondary.


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## sleepytime

Was made redundant from my last job and haven't picked anything up since. I tend to go for jobs which allow me to spend a good deal of time working on my own. That limits which positions i can apply for, add the recession into the mix and I'm really struggling to find anything I can even apply for.


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## EKC1224

I own a sports bar. I don't work in front, I do office work. So if you can manage to get a job doing data entry.. it's an office job and most of times you'll be left alone. If your SA is extreme, hardest part will be an interview - rest is piece of cake. CPA offices.. insurance.. dental.. restaurant.. everyone has their own data entry.. wish you best of luck


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## punkboy92

Look for a job where you know there is hardly any people. Maybe one day, youll have the privilege of working from home.


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## little_miss

I'm glad I'm not the only one who is anxious about getting a job. I've been drifting for years because of it. I do some volunteer work but that does not have the same responsibility as a payed job. At least I have disability. Although that hasn't helped my situation since I cling onto that instead of doing something about the anxiety.


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## dotcotton

*getting back out there.*

just to say a huge thanks for you posting. That gave me a real thread of hope at my low
est ebb. thank you


TeenyBeany said:


> sit down and think of a list of positions that would suit your needs. For me it was working with a small company (15 or less employees), working in a cubicle (so i wouldnt have to talk to people), and the work needed to be full time. I ended up landing a job in telemarketing where I sat in a cubicle for 8 hours a day and talked on the phone. Have been with the company for 5 years. During my 3rd year they asked if I wanted to work from home (since i'm a reliable and trustworthy employee).
> Hang in there. If you really think hard enough, you'll figure out what the best job is for you. There's a job out there for everyone


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## forex

Ohio Fatso said:


> I'm a civil engineer. I work, but with a huge amount of anxiety, worry, and stress. Everybody knows it. I can't hide it from anyone. The reason I keep on doing it is because I don't want to be a burden on my family and I would die before I would ever ask someone for money again. *I grew up in a house with my old man yelling at me all the time, making me feel very guilty for costing him money. I would not go through that again.* That's why I must work. There's no choice.


lol , that is why i want to get out and get my own place .
even if i give him monthly payment he's still nagging 24/7

last work was in 2007 , i don;t know how to get back at work , it makes me sick only thinking about it.


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## DanaWK

25 I have ADD, Anxiety, Depression and i have been laid off for 7 months and have been living off unemployment insurance. I work for a union so getting a job is as easy as calling in to them and asking for one because there is allot of work up where I live. I told them I was going to take some time off to sort out some other bs in my life. Now I can't get myself back to work, not having to deal with all the crap that comes with keeping a job has just sucked me in and the thought of going back to work almost gives me a panic attack. I'm nervous that they're going to get mad and just fire me for being off for so long, they might not even care but I don't know. 

I've had 8 jobs and have been fired from 4 for being incompetent, went to post secondary and flunked out taking a course I really enjoyed, took another post secondary course, passed and got a job but got fired again. I end up hating every job I do, the repetition is torture on my attention deficit mind and eventually its no longer stimulating enough to sustain any interest, my mind then wanders and I'm rushing through the job to get it done and so I make mistakes, witch makes me nervous then i make more mistakes, witch subsequently makes me frustrated and angry, then I can't think at all so failure is inevadable, and its just a downward spiral to getting fired.

So my resume is crap, I'm scared and confused with no confidence, motivation, or hope, I'm distracted, anxious, and depressed. I'm really not sure how i'm going to make it through life at this rate. I'm I just lazy? Do I need to push myself more? am I just a ***** who needs to man up? I have no clue anymore.


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## Lonelyguy111

That has been my big problem with work: working with people.

Not working with paperwork, lab equipment, computers, animals, or things..... just people. My work is fine, it is my problems with social graces dealing with humans.
I work better on my own with as little contact with people as possible. The only way I can cope is to work by myself as much as possible.


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## uselessgoodfornothing

little_miss said:


> I'm glad I'm not the only one who is anxious about getting a job. I've been drifting for years because of it. I do some volunteer work but that does not have the same responsibility as a payed job. At least I have disability. Although that hasn't helped my situation since I cling onto that instead of doing something about the anxiety.


yeaaah im on disability as well. its really good money and im very greatful to centerlink. id be stuck at home :afr without it

do you have to do anything to keep getting payments? i have to work at the salvos 2 days a week but its pretty good the people are so nice it makes me want to cry but yeah

i might be getting a factory job which would be awesome because its all assembly line stuff so im HOPING theres little human interaction :boogie

and the thing is i WANT to work! i get bored doing nothing, and if i was on 700$ a week all that money .....:teeth


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## uselessgoodfornothing

dotcotton said:


> just to say a huge thanks for you posting. That gave me a real thread of hope at my low
> est ebb. thank you


are you gonna stay at that job or move to something "higher up" ?

i always thought telemarketing would be good, its just the interview :afr

hows the pay? working from home must bee :boogie


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## MidnightBlu

euphoria said:


> Three choices:
> 
> 
> Just force yourself to go for the job, and probably lose a bit more self-respect in the process of realising SA doesn't tend to go away.
> 
> See a psychologist, get all that CBTish stuff sorted and probably do a little better than you would've without therapy.
> 
> Take some nice tasty drugs/medication. Yum.
> 
> Obviously you can guess which one I choose.


Or do all three depending how and which works best.


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## Mousy

Not only am I nervous about applying for a job, but I would also have no way to get there because of anxiety about driving and public transportation. *shakes head*


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## nrelax11

I just got a job after being out of work for a year. I had to because I need to pay for my braces and if I want to keep living with my parents xD


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## Shirotora

I'm in the same boat, though where I live most jobs are like customer services and labour jobs. Both of them are too hard on me, first one is social anxiety and second I have lots of pain in my body so labour jobs just kill me. What makes things worse effexor doesn't seem to work for me, just makes sweat a lot doing very little things.

I know that I'm always tired and my movation isn't the best which affects me to get a job too.


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## DarkmanX

Relate HEAVILY to this thread. Hopefully we can get more people to chime in.


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## lesleydee17

*You can do this, babes. One step at a time and you will get there.*

Hi barb8812,

I've had a similar issue with going back to work again, although a bit of a different story.

So I will share with you the comfort and encouragement I myself have gotten to prep for this next step in life 

Finding a place where you feel safe to talk about your anxieties. Here is a good place but if you would like to be with a counsellor, someone who you feel comfortable speaking to or a positive friend, I think that is a best thing . You mentioned you were a student, I'm sure you have free counselling at your school that you can start with. If you would like to continue to something more, you can always go from there and she/he can guide you toward that. Universities and Colleges usually have a career and counselling development department that are prepared to help students whether it be life stuff, career or academics. They're usually found in the health departments of the school. Also, there is academic advisors that can be helpful. You wouldn't think it immediately but our academic advisor for each department are also prepared to help students deal with real life stuff such as social anxiety. There is help and support all around us . Don't be ashamed or embarassed for feeling like this, it happens to so many of us, especially when we are getting ready for adulthood. Don't feel bad, you are just figuring out who you are and what is right for you.

In saying that last part, feeling for what is right for you. You're not choosing a career in your part time job, it's merely for the sake of having money for yourself, right? So in that sense, the number of opportunities are huge. You don't need to work in customer service. Like someone mentioned above, you can work in a small office or even with a relative at their work. There are a lot of options. You can always contact a job recruitment agency (there are free ones) and tell them that you prefer not to work in a largely public job, something lower key in terms of social interaction and you'd be surprised at the opportunities around you . You can have money and find yourself somewhere interesting to spend 8-20 hours of your week. I've had a variety of jobs in my life (10 in all already!). It's amazing all the skills you can gain from the different experiences and the friends you can make. From each job experience, we learn, we grow and we become stronger and more skilled versions of ourselves. Our confidence and self esteem grows too.

Waitressing can be a very stressful job, especially if you are already suffering with social anxiety. It's good to sometimes throw yourself in the deep end to learn to swim but I mean, if that's way too stressful, bringing us wayy more negative than positive out of the experience than clearly, it isn't the right way to go about it.

I am sure that one day you will reach a point in your life where you won't feel as anxious in social settings. Who knows, maybe one day you will even be a public speaker because you have conquered this, you never know.

One step at a time, babes, take it as slow as you want. You are getting there already. Talk to a positive friend/counsellor about it, know that you can do this like so many others have and like you have on other first highly anxious parts of your life that now you feel confident in, and let yourself be in that positive mind set of finding a job that is right for you. Know that there are jobs out there that are perfect for you just waiting for you to apply to them. Then go out there and apply to them.

I am so sure that once you will start your new job and will be feeling confident in it, you will feel yourself wanting to challenge yourself further and do a small social interaction trial that you will triumph at. Then another and another until one day, you will never feel anxious about working again. You'll get there, hun  You can do it, one step at a time


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## socialwish

I work online right now so i dont have a worry in this department. It can be hard.


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## VooDooBLACKS

I thought it was only me that is suffering from this, im 21 and had a work when im 16 in a fastfood chain, it was good at first but competition arises later and anxiety between my co-workers starts.. i quit the job without telling the company, I've just finished my college degree but feels like it was not enough.. my family forces me to work but i'm only giving them my excuses, im really afraid of rejections..


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## Openyoureyes

I work at petsmart, petcare. What I do is I forget the fact I have anxiety, ask everyone if they need help. I still of course struggle with talking sometimes, but people don't really look at you weird. You just think that you sound weird or oh you're horrible at your job. But really, I love animals and I love to try to help people so this is my motivation.

Motivate yourself to get that money to use it for yourself to get better. Maybe think of how you can afford a hair cut, or that cute bag. Or wait, yuo can go shopping by yourself and try to find a great outfit to wear around the house or to jog in. 

Please get a job, I felt so much better. I got my first job the same day I turned 19. Please...do this for yourself. Lie during the interview on some questions, study, don't make yourself nervous. Don't freak yourself out.=)


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## alte

Consider getting further education for a job that does not require much people skills. While not having great people skills is a disadvantage when searching for jobs, a good education background can help. 
Studying and getting good grades is a solitary activity. It shouldn't be much of problem for a person with SA.


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## DarkmanX

Most of us are in this boat. I try & try but i just know if i were to get a job i'll become so drained just by the share of anxiety during the days. Of course it gets better eventually but it i just cant seem to be normal. Ive had a job, but thats it, & that was awhile ago. 

Like some days ago. Went to the doctor to do some regular check-ups. Have done this for years. But when i went & the doctor started to talk i just sounded so nervous, my voice all shaky & i couldnt even get to ask a simple question that i had thought of before hand. Other than that im also somewhat of a paranoid person. I dont trust people easily at all, for various reasons but im not gonna go in to it, so if i ever had a job id just constantly worry & be so afraid & uncomfortable while not trusting co-workers/employers at all with their underhanded questions, jokes or stuff they do.


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## VooDooBLACKS

Openyoureyes said:


> I work at petsmart, petcare. What I do is I forget the fact I have anxiety, ask everyone if they need help. I still of course struggle with talking sometimes, but people don't really look at you weird. You just think that you sound weird or oh you're horrible at your job. But really, I love animals and I love to try to help people so this is my motivation.
> 
> Motivate yourself to get that money to use it for yourself to get better. Maybe think of how you can afford a hair cut, or that cute bag. Or wait, yuo can go shopping by yourself and try to find a great outfit to wear around the house or to jog in.
> 
> Please get a job, I felt so much better. I got my first job the same day I turned 19. Please...do this for yourself. Lie during the interview on some questions, study, don't make yourself nervous. Don't freak yourself out.=)


that was nice, I also love pets.. thanks for the motivation


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## ApatheticDisplay

I'm in the same boat as a lot of you. I got laid off last month from my job as a security guard and now I'm drawing unemployment. I liked my job because I didn't deal with many people and the ones that I did deal with were pretty nice. The security company was also really good about working with me and my anxiety and finding posts that wouldn't stress me out. Now I'm paranoid when I do go back to work I won't be able to find a place that accommodating. Oddly enough I handle job interviews just fine. I know how to BS through them. You just tell them what they want to hear basically.


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## ciara1234

I started working in a pub, I am so afraid it makes me sick to even think about going in today is Wednesday and I feel sick about going in on Saturday. Its busy because of Christmas and my mam says it will calm down after Christmas but I don't see it happening at all. its my first job ever and the first two days I did went well then it went down hill. I am not sure if its because everyone is great friends in there or what they are all lovely people but I don't feel a bond with them, I feel quite stupid in the job ive read some comments above and do not want to go on any medications because they have made me sick in the past. it makes me cry to think of work I need help. I have never liked nightclubs or pubs so maybe the atmosphere I hate? I'm only picking up empty glasses and serving drinks not making them- I don't even like talking about the job. I cant quit because my uncle tried hard to get me this job.

I also do my work placement in college in hospital and I absolutely love it, I get on with all the staff I work with. of course I do be dying to get home because its a 12 hour shift and a job and who wants to work that long but I cant wait to finish college so that I can get a job.


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