# I went for a swim today at the pool



## RedBlueFish (Nov 11, 2003)

Lately I've felt so self conscious about going to the gym in general especially the pool since it involves me wearing a swimsuit. I didn't go to the gym for a few months due to anxiety and therefore gained about 20 pounds, which has made me very self conscious about returning to the gym to lose the weight. A few times I ran on the treadmill in the last few weeks in spite of my self-consciousness but I felt like such a fat cow not to mention my shorts kept riding up on my legs (can you say major chafing?). Having a mirror in front of the treadmills, plus dealing with the horrid chafing from my shorts, has discouraged me from running ... I don't like going for a run outside around the neighborhood because who knows who is going to see me!

Anyway, I decided that considering that, I decided swimming is my only option for now but was feeling sooooo self conscious about going back to my old swimming group that I swam with last year. They swim on Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday mornings and last fall for quite awhile I was a regular and started to slowly feel comfortable with them. I got there this morning, has been at least 5 months since I swam with them (although I've gone swimming a couple times on my own at another pool near hoome) .... didn't recognize anyone, not even the coach because I remembered her as a lifeguard/swim instructor so didn't know she had taken over the time. Plus I didn't recognize any of the people there from when I was there before. I was too afraid to ask the lady what happened to the group or if there were just new people, but instead of just going back into the locker room, I just jumped into a lane and started doing my own workout. 

At some point, a guy arrived who I recognized and it turned out he recognized me too and he asked me where I'd been. I actually had a conversation with him too. I didn't tell him it was because of my SA, don't remember what I said, but it worked apparently. I started asking him questions about what happened to everyone who I'd seen before. Found out the other coaches of our group left, that the swim instructor lady had taken over the group until someone found a replacement, and that the other group had moved over to the rec center swim workouts. And yes, it's just as confusing as it sounds ... I am still a bit confused about what happened, but hey I didn't feel like a complete idiot for once.

I'm just glad I finally decided I was going to do it. I hope I can start going again because I always love swimming and I always feel really good afterwards. For some reason it really helps my depression/anxiety more than other sports ... maybe because swimming gives me the chance to get all that tension out of my arms & shoulders, or maybe it's the chlorine! :lol :lol :con :stu


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Good job, RedBlueFish :boogie :boogie :boogie!

That thigh rubbing together thing is a killer. I get that all the time when running now (Paxil made me gain weight ! ) I wear compression shorts to keep the chafing from happening. 

Don't worry, just eat right and get enough exercise!


----------



## Urkidding (Oct 12, 2005)

Way to go. :banana 

Swimming's a blast.


----------



## missnat84 (Dec 31, 2004)

Urkidding said:


> Way to go. :banana
> 
> Swimming's a blast.


 :agree well done.


----------



## lyssado707 (Oct 29, 2004)

Great job :banana I've had dreams that I was able to go swimming somewhere by myself, but its yet to happen


----------



## glittergaze (May 4, 2005)

Way to go, RedBlueFish! :banana


----------



## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

.


----------



## RedBlueFish (Nov 11, 2003)

Thanks.  :thanks I even got up the nerve to go again today! :shock :yay There's a group that swims at the rec center on Tuesdays and Thursdays...I didn't swim with them because I felt too self-conscious since I'm not in very good shape yet not to mention I don't know them. BUT when I got there was a couple hours after their workout, and the workout they did was still listed on the dry erase board on the wall so I decided I would do their workout so that I could do something different than the usual stuff I do. I was fine until this guy came and asked if he could share my lane with me. :hide :mum I absolutely HATE sharing my lane with people. Usually it's because it makes me feel claustrophobic in that I only have half a lane to swim in, but part of the workout written on the boardinvolved a few swimming drills. Decided to try t he drills, wtf, thought I'd do something different and go out of my comfort zone for a change. Even when I was on swimteams when I was younger, I always felt silly doing drills. It's sorta like running ... sometimes it's just SO obvious you're doing drills rather just swimming the regular strokes. But anyway, this guy showed up when I was still doing the silly swimming drills and amazingly enough, I finished the set that had all the silly swimming drills for me to do. I was so proud of myself, normally if I'm not with a swim team that's also doing drills I won't do them ... besides the fact that it's been so long since I've done ANY kind of drills that I'd forgotten what some of them were ... well you get the picture. My normal reaction would've been to just start swimming normal-like again. Who knew?


----------

