# Sex on the first date



## HustleRose (Jun 19, 2009)

Would you guys have sex on the first date? 
-If so, would you want to continue dating this person afterwards?
-If you wouldn't, why?


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Only if she was a hooker. Of course in those cases that is what is expected.

I believe the thinking is that women who have sex on a first date are promiscuous and not good relationship material.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

I wouldn't. I would want a potential partner to be serious about relationships. Having sex on the first date would kinda make me think he thought it was some sort of fling or hook-up situation, where I would be looking for an actual committed relationship. It would also make me think that he has sex with a lot of girls on first dates, and I don't like that type of promiscuity.

I am not 'against' people who have sex like that. They can do whatever they want, it's none of my business. But I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone like that, I'm not _attracted_ to that type of behaviour.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

No - I don't know her enough at that point.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

HustleRose said:


> Would you guys have sex on the first date?
> -If so, would you want to continue dating this person afterwards?
> -If you wouldn't, why?


If I want to see a person again for something other than just sex, I'll _not _have sex on the first date. I like to have something to bargain with! Also, if I want to date someone, I like to get to know him a little better first.

Plus there's something wonderful about the anticipation.


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## lettersnumbers (Apr 15, 2012)

No, i believe having sex with someone on a first date would show that you have little respect for yourself. I'd rather get to know the person first at least then it would mean something and you wouldn't just be screwing some person you just met.


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## elvin jones (Dec 12, 2011)

Yes. If the mood is right and the chemistry is there why not. Making the guy wait an arbitrary amount of time even though you both want it makes little sense. You also run the risk of him losing interest if you hold out too long.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

If I'm into the girl, I would continue to date her whether we have sex on the first, second or third date. Dowsnt make a difference to me. It would only make me feel closer with her once it got to that stage.

If I'm not into a girl for real and just want a f buddy situation, I wouldn't lose respect for her if we did it on the first date either. I see nothing wrong with casual sex. I have done the hit it and quit it before. But I only quit it because I just wanted a f buddy situation with her and she wanted a relationship with me. If she held out, that would have just annoyed me. I already decided right from the beginning that I wanted a f buddy situation because I just wasn't into her in THAT way.

I don't believe in rules. I just go with what feels right. I'm usually too nervous for it on the first date. When I'm nervous, my equipment doesn't like to cooperate.


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## Mr Anonymous (Sep 18, 2010)

Depends....

First date with a stranger, probably not, unless we really hit it off.

First date with someone I've already known for awhile, sure.

And it wouldn't affect my desire to continue dating her, barring something wrong with the sex itself.


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## Daktoria (Sep 21, 2010)

HustleRose said:


> Would you guys have sex on the first date?
> -If so, would you want to continue dating this person afterwards?
> -If you wouldn't, why?


It depends on how well you hit it off.

You have to be spontaneously optimistic to get along with people. Otherwise, people doubt your confidence.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

In theory, I'd say yes. If I'm into him and the date has been going great, why not? Sex is an important part of a relationship, so I might as well know from the get-go if I'd want to go any further with him.

In reality, though, simply because I'm way too shy, I wouldn't.



Mr Anonymous said:


> Depends....
> 
> First date with a stranger, probably not, unless we really hit it off.
> 
> ...


Agree with this, too.


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## northstar1991 (Oct 4, 2011)

No I personally wouldn't have sex on the first date. I'd like to know the guy really well first before we get that close. I don't look down on people who do this though.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Only if the guy was very good looking and kissed well. Otherwise it would have to wait till the 3rd date most likely. I wouldn't wait any longer than that cause you need to check out the goods and see if there is chemistry before investing more time.


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## CrimsonTrigger (Jun 28, 2011)

I doubt it. Knowing me it would take more like three years for us to have sex, haha, probably even longer. But seriously unless I was only going on a date just to get laid (and if that was the case I wouldn't bother going on a date to begin with) I wouldn't take a chance and ruin a potentially good relationship for a little fun. I'd rather get to know her and become close with her first. It would make it a lot less awkward and by that point I would know her well enough. 

I'm sure some are able to handle it, but I can't imagine how successful a relationship like that could be, but maybe I just don't understand.


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## Attica! Attica! (Oct 8, 2008)

I had sex on my first date with my boyfriend. We were both virgins. We're still together after 3 years


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## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

It depends on how well the date went.


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## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

A "Date" can have multiple definitions. Obviously a date where sex occurs right away is just a hookup.

He'd have to be REALLY gorgeous.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

I have done it lol. But I guess you can say I had "issues" Still do.


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

Nothing wrong with her giving it up on the first date. Its 2012, women like sex


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## MachineSupremacist (Jun 9, 2012)

Doesn't even need to be a date, really. Girls, just throw yourself at me. We can exchange names after.

(no, seriously, this is one of my fantasies - except she turns out to be really nice and not a serial killer so it's all good)


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## mdiada (Jun 18, 2012)

I've done it before and it was a huge mistake. We had only talked for like a week before our first date, and then we did it. Waaaaaaaayyyyy too fast, at least for me. But we dated for about 4 months then broke up. But we didn't know each other well enough to begin with, so throwing sex into the mix that fast? Huge disaster. So yeah, I would probably steer clear of ever making the same mistake again.


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## identitycrisis (Sep 18, 2011)

I wouldn't. It doesn't sit well with me, but that's because I'm really old-fashioned. I'd want to spend quite a bit more time getting to know her and doing other things together before I even brought up sex.

But if it's not against your own morals, then as far as I'm concerned it's perfectly acceptable.


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## Daft (Jan 5, 2012)

My body's not for just anyone, and I'd rather work through incompatibilities down the road or let people move on than make a relationship intimate that early. For many people sex comes with attachment and emotions, and that's not what I need when I'm still trying to gauge someone's character, compatibility, and trustworthiness.


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## CoastalSprite (Sep 8, 2011)

No. I would immediately leave if he even dared suggest it on the first date.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

You risk basing the relationship purely on physical things, if it is pursued further than that first date. Having sex in a relationship is not the only thing you will be doing. You have to actually talk to that person and learn about them, nurture the relationship, and decide if your personalities mesh as well.


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

"Sex"? "First date"? "The"?


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

I cant speak for women, but for most guys if a woman lets you have sex with her on the first date he will probably only see her as a f**k buddy from there on, and never relationship material. I'd also be wondering how many other guys she gave up it on the first date for.


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## Downwiththesickness (Nov 13, 2010)

I wouldnt have sex on the first date - no way. I would have to get to know someone way better. Maybe if We had been friends for a while then went out on a date I might, but if it was someone I didnt know hardly at all I wouldn't.


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

No way, no how. I didn't quite make it all the way until marriage but I was only a week shy, five years into the relationship.


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## NoName99 (Jul 3, 2011)

If she was kind, cute and genuinely wanted to, then yes, I would. As a european, I think americans in general attach a huge stigma to sex. All these strict rules, kiss only on the n-th date, sex on the m-th date, etc. I'd just do what feels right. In fact, my only stigma is that I've never had sex like everyone else.


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## blue the puppy (Jul 23, 2011)

never had sex on the first date per se .. but i have had sex with guys the first night i met them .. kind of the same thing .. dont think i'd do it again but i dont think it's a big deal either.


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## Mirror (Mar 16, 2012)

Mr Anonymous said:


> Depends....
> 
> First date with a stranger, probably not, unless we really hit it off.
> 
> ...


This one! ^^ :yes


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

I would absolutely have sex on the first date with a girl...if I didn't see her as relationship material for whatever reason. If I were thoroughly attracted to her physically and mentally after the date, however, it would actually majorly disappoint me if she were open to sex that night. I would just feel like she had done the sex on the first date thing with many guys before me and I would think less of her. Yes, it's an irrational stigma, and who really cares if she has? I know it's not logical, but I would have a tough time pursuing a relationship with someone like that. So on that note, if she did offer sex that night I suppose I would just go for it and then not pursue anything after that. However, I wouldn't actively pursue anything beyond second base if I really liked her because at this point in my life I've had enough sex to not be a horny little boy anymore. I want something more substantial, and sex on the first date is almost a surefire way to ruin the chances of it.


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## Ventura (May 5, 2009)

No...


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## Brad (Dec 27, 2011)

Depends what you consider a date. Like if it was a friend that you've known for a while beforehand and a relationship developed into something more than friends, then i could see it being okay


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## meeps (Dec 5, 2011)

scarpia said:


> I believe the thinking is that women who have sex on a first date are promiscuous and not good relationship material.





rymo said:


> I would just feel like she had done the sex on the first date thing with many guys before me and I would think less of her. Yes, it's an irrational stigma, and who really cares if she has? I know it's not logical, but I would have a tough time pursuing a relationship with someone like that. So on that note, if she did offer sex that night I suppose I would just go for it and then not pursue anything after that.


But you say _you_ would have sex with _them_...how are you any different? 
Oh that's right, you're male.:roll


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

meeps said:


> But you say _you_ would have sex with _them_...how are you any different?
> Oh that's right, you're male.:roll


I just said it wasn't rational silly


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

No I'm a germaphobe.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

I notice that the vast majority of men on here admit that they would be hesitant to get into a relationship with a woman that would have sex on the first date.

Nice going guys. Just making things harder for me. lol. You are the reason why it's hard to get laid. Women don't want to develop a reputation for being a "****" and guys **** shaming them just makes it worse.

Men want to get laid. But then they rag on the women who actually help them make it happen. Illogical stupidity.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Lots of girls say no, but they might end up doing it anyway :lol. Personally I might, It depends on the situation and if it feels right. Especially if I have already known her for awhile before we started dating. Sex is pretty scary for me for some reason, so I would have to feel comfortable with them first.


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## GD8 (May 7, 2011)

no way, I wouldn't feel comfortable. third date maybe but it'd still be kind of weird for me, I'd want to be in an actual relationship before having sex.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

If a guy leaves you if you have sex with them on the first date I don't think they are worth it..I dunno why you can't just keep talking..is it awkward or something?


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## Daylight (Jun 20, 2009)

I had sex with a girl a day before our first date lol It's whatever.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

Id be like yes...I mean no...Alright just flip a coin...


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## BobbyByThePound (Apr 4, 2012)

Id have sex on the first date. And I dont think Id lose respect for a woman whether she was willing to do that or not.


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## Xtraneous (Oct 18, 2011)

***** better put out


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## Hello22 (Feb 10, 2010)

No, i don't put out easily.


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

Hmm anyone see a pattern? The girls are "Hell no!" and the guys are "Hell yes!"


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

Revenwyn said:


> Hmm anyone see a pattern? The girls are "Hell no!" and the guys are "Hell yes!"


While women may enjoy sex, they have the memory of a goldfish and don't recall how much they enjoy sex until they are actually doing it. It can be quite frustrating as a guy when women act like this.


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

Dr House said:


> While women may enjoy sex, they have the memory of a goldfish and don't recall how much they enjoy sex until they are actually doing it. It can be quite frustrating as a guy when women act like this.


Women enjoy sex but they also want a relationship. A man who expects them to put out on the first date is not likely the kind who will develop an actual relationship with them. Basically, it's a form of using them.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

meganmila said:


> If a guy leaves you if you have sex with them on the first date I don't think they are worth it..I dunno why you can't just keep talking..is it awkward or something?


It's called losing interest and not wanting to lead the girl on.


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## GD8 (May 7, 2011)

Revenwyn said:


> Hmm anyone see a pattern? The girls are "Hell no!" and the guys are "Hell yes!"


not me lol.

what I want to know is why do guys even go on dates if they're just trying to **** the girl? you can have a one night stand with someone where you're both mutually ****ty people, there's no reason to spend time with a girl and lead her on only to hit it and quit it


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Revenwyn said:


> Hmm anyone see a pattern? The girls are "Hell no!" and the guys are "Hell yes!"


Part of it is because men have less crappy experiences with casual sex than women. Women are more picky about who they have sex with and most would be willing to give a relationship a try after sleeping with a guy cause they liked him enough to have sex with them. Men on the other hand are not picky at all and often do the exact opposite after sleeping with a woman..... run for the hills. Women generally don't run for the hills except for maybe if the sex was really bad or the guy had a very small penis (I always check that and how well they kiss beforehand though).

I guess it's nice that it's easy to laid as a female but getting rejected after having sex is 100 times worse than getting rejected before. Cause then you wonder if they thought the sex was horrible or if your body was gross, fat, etc.


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## layitontheline (Aug 19, 2009)

I'm not opposed to first-date sex, but I don't see myself likely to do it. I'm like a turtle in its shell around men.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

meganmila said:


> If a guy leaves you if you have sex with them on the first date I don't think they are worth it..I dunno why you can't just keep talking..is it awkward or something?


AMEN. I don't know why the heck women even think these guys (the type that are A-OK with having fun on the first date but will immediately judge the girl for it) are boyfriend-material anyway.

In my quests to get laid, I have been so, so, frustrated with chicks. To the point of hating them sometimes. But I had no idea at the time that **** shaming was such a strong reality at the time. And probably the biggest factor behind why women are selective and not so accepting of casual sex (and if they are accepting of it, they try to be discrete about it).

Another big factor behind why women aren't as keen about casual sex? Men generally suck in bed. I have been criticized before by saying this before on here and then I made some other comments here that others nitpicked and it spiralled out of control. But yes, men suck in bed. More than one girl has told me (including some I've slept with) that most young guys pop fairly quickly. They can't last long enough to bring her to orgasm. I keep getting told that my stamina is unusual (I'm not bragging, it's just not usual for a young guy to last long apparently).


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## Daft (Jan 5, 2012)

Dr House said:


> While women may enjoy sex, they have the memory of a goldfish and don't recall how much they enjoy sex until they are actually doing it. It can be quite frustrating as a guy when women act like this.


I remember even in some relationships it didn't end with me satisfied. Doesn't sound worth it for a one-nighter or a guy I barely know even if everything I mentioned wasn't a factor. Try stopping halfway through next time you're enjoying some you time and tell me how that feels. 

I think it'd be more accurate to say that women enjoy sex with men not only that they're attracted to, but that they feel comfortable with and who ensure that their partners are taken care of. That's a much smaller pool than just "sex." Sometimes this takes more than a date or two, and sometimes it's only ensured in a relationship context.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

phoenixwright said:


> AMEN. I don't know why the heck women even think these guys (the type that are A-OK with having fun on the first date but will immediately judge the girl for it) are boyfriend-material anyway.
> 
> In my quests to get laid, I have been so, so, frustrated with chicks. To the point of hating them sometimes. But I had no idea at the time that **** shaming was such a strong reality at the time. And probably the biggest factor behind why women are selective and not so accepting of casual sex (and if they are accepting of it, they try to be discrete about it).
> 
> Another big factor behind why women aren't as keen about casual sex? Men generally suck in bed. I have been criticized before by saying this before on here and then I made some other comments here that others nitpicked and it spiralled out of control. But yes, men suck in bed. More than one girl has told me (including some I've slept with) that most young guys pop fairly quickly. They can't last long enough to bring her to orgasm. I keep getting told that my stamina is unusual (I'm not bragging, it's just not usual for a young guy to last long apparently).


While it's probably true that most guys actually aren't very good in bed (I have heard this a lot as well), I have to play devil's advocate to a certain extent. If a guy goes on a date with a girl and they end up having sex that night, which generally means the guy loses interest right away (just how it is), he is likely not to care whether or not she has an orgasm or the best mind-blowing sex ever. I know personally I don't try nearly as hard if I don't care as much for the woman. So these sex on the first date scenarios often fill women's minds with a negative perception of guys and their ability, which may not necessarily be all that accurate. Again, most guys probably do just suck, and IMO you should get the girl to orgasm regardless of the situation, but this may also have something to do with that perception.


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## lkkxm (Apr 11, 2012)

I wouldn't have sex on the first date. But hypothetically, if i liked the girl enough to actually have sex on the first date, i would definitely want to keep seeing her.


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## DMIND11 (Jul 9, 2012)

If I would be serious about a girl. I wouldn't want her to have sex with me in the first date. That would just ruin the relationship in my opinion. It would make me think she's a little "crazy" and not the type of girl I would want a serious relationship with.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

I wouldn't for many reasons, mainly to protect myself and not get attached, or feel nasty afterwards. I'm too scared of rejection and insecure.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

**** NO!
I'm not easy.


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## SupaDupaFly (Sep 1, 2011)

Why wouldn't I wanna continue going out with her? That's the real question you know what I mean.


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## HustleRose (Jun 19, 2009)

meganmila said:


> I have done it lol. But I guess you can say I had "issues" Still do.


Just because you have sex on the first date doesn't mean you "have issues!" :b



87wayz said:


> Nothing wrong with her giving it up on the first date. Its 2012, women like sex


Women have always liked sex. It's just recently that we've been able to admit it!



MachineSupremacist said:


> Doesn't even need to be a date, really. Girls, just throw yourself at me. We can exchange names after.
> 
> (no, seriously, this is one of my fantasies - except she turns out to be really nice and not a serial killer so it's all good)


:lol



nemesis1 said:


> I cant speak for women, but for most guys if a woman lets you have sex with her on the first date he will probably only see her as a f**k buddy from there on, and never relationship material. I'd also be wondering how many other guys she gave up it on the first date for.


LOL my parents had sex on the first date and 35 years later they're still together!

.....don't even dare ask how I know that..... :sus



NoName99 said:


> If she was kind, cute and genuinely wanted to, then yes, I would. As a european, I think americans in general attach a huge stigma to sex. *All these strict rules, kiss only on the n-th date, sex on the m-th date, etc. I'd just do what feels right*. In fact, my only stigma is that I've never had sex like everyone else.


Agreed. :yes



meganmila said:


> If a guy leaves you if you have sex with them on the first date I don't think they are worth it..I dunno why you can't just keep talking..is it awkward or something?


Exactly!!



MavenMI6Agent009 said:


> Id be like yes...I mean no...Alright just flip a coin...


Practical way of making a desicion. 



BobbyByThePound said:


> Id have sex on the first date. And I dont think Id lose respect for a woman whether she was willing to do that or not.


:clap we need more guys like you.



SupaDupaFly said:


> Why wouldn't I wanna continue going out with her? That's the real question you know what I mean.


Yes...um, I know what you mean.... Right? :afr


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

rymo said:


> It's called losing interest and not wanting to lead the girl on.


Why would you lose interest? It could bring you closer together and if sex is important in a relationship for you then you would know lol. I'm sorry..every time I'm with a guy I think about sex and sexual stuff...I dunno why but I do even if I say I won't do anything. Not all women want relationships ( cause really I don't think I want to explore my emotions on that..I'm just scared) I have been getting urges to do casual sex again...thinking of past guys I have been with...I can think of one hot guy but who knows where he is. Women need to not care about the social stigma..ugh. I get being scared of STDs though....and I don't really care about having orgasm when I am with someone I get turned on being with someone attractive as is...it's fun....or well it used to be when I was "experimenting".

If sex is not important to you then ignore doing it soon I guess.


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## TrcyMcgrdy1 (Oct 21, 2011)

Peter Attis said:


> "Sex"? "First date"? "The"?


You need to change Attis whith Griffin my friend! :teeth


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## Luna Sea (Apr 4, 2012)

I probably wouldn't, but I sure wouldn't hold it against anyone if they wanted to. I'm a little disturbed by the amount of guys who would judge someone like that, but then again, there are a few posters here I already think are pigs.


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## TravisBickle (Jun 29, 2012)

Absolutely not. In my right state of mind I would not sleep with her until marriage.


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## GD8 (May 7, 2011)

HustleRose said:


> :clap we need more guys like you.


pretty sure there's already like a **** ton of guys who would have no problem ****ing on the first date rofl


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

meganmila said:


> Why would you lose interest? It could bring you closer together and if sex is important in a relationship for you then you would know lol. I'm sorry..every time I'm with a guy I think about sex and sexual stuff...I dunno why but I do even if I say I won't do anything. Not all women want relationships ( cause really I don't think I want to explore my emotions on that..I'm just scared) I have been getting urges to do casual sex again...thinking of past guys I have been with...I can think of one hot guy but who knows where he is. Women need to not care about the social stigma..ugh. I get being scared of STDs though....and I don't really care about having orgasm when I am with someone I get turned on being with someone attractive as is...it's fun....or well it used to be when I was "experimenting".
> 
> If sex is not important to you then ignore doing it soon I guess.


It has nothing to do with sex not being important. It has to do with finding a girl who you go on a first date with and you say to yourself, "wow...I really like her. I really want to spend more time with her and see where things progress." When it becomes more about sex than about discovering each other's personalities then there's less substance to the interaction and it cheapens the whole experience. If I didn't see potential with the girl but there was still physical attraction, I would absolutely do it. I don't see it as hypocritical because I would expect the girl to feel the same. However, just to be safe afterwards and not lead on someone who may not have been on the same page, sometimes it's better to just end things.

From a girl's perspective, I asked a friend about this, and she said it would just deflate the anticipation of seeing that person again. Whereas if there wasn't sex on the first date there is some kind of build up. You continue to get to know each other, there's mystery and intrigue, you chip away at who they are and discover all about them, and then finally some dates later when you guys reeeeally like each other you have sex and it becomes more of an emotional experience. A much more explosive start to a relationship than sex on the first date, which is mostly just physical.

Again, if you're just looking for sex then whateva, but if you meet someone you really like and want to see further, you're taking a risk of spoiling the whole experience, and is that really worth sex right away as opposed to waiting a little bit? This is coming from someone who could have sex five times a day every day he's so horny, so don't think this position has anything to do with a low sex drive. It's more just out of practicality.


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## Quinn the Eskimo (Jan 22, 2012)

I've done it plenty of times.

Most guys will tell you that makes a girl a ****, while in reality, if the guy was confronted with a hot girl who wanted the bone he would hit it in a minute <___<


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## BKrakow (Jul 8, 2010)

I wouldn't do it, not because I have any kind of moral issue with it, I just really don't see the point. all the fun of new relationships is in letting the sexual tension build until you can't stand it anymore. I have no idea why you'd want to ruin that right off the bat.


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## CrimsonTrigger (Jun 28, 2011)

It's nice to see that people here have different opinions on the subject. I think in the end it just depends on the individual. Some can handle it, others can't. Some see sex as this extremely important and magical thing while others just see it as not a big deal. 

I don't even know which category I fall into, but I personally don't think I could do it on a first date. That's not because I'm uptight or think negatively of it. And it's not because I fear that our relationship would be ruined because of it. It's mainly because I just like to take things slowly.


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## Gusthebus (May 22, 2012)

Sex is just sex to me I have had it before and it is nice but it is something I'd rather do with someone I know well. I actually now am waiting until I find the right woman and or if I ever get married. I have too many issues to deal with so sex isn't on the top of my list of things to do right now.


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## b0m (Oct 1, 2011)

I'm just wondering OP, are you going to sleep/not sleep on the first date because some people on an internet forum told you so? If you feel like having sex, then just do it-it's your life..


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

CrimsonTrigger said:


> It's nice to see that people here have different opinions on the subject. I think in the end it just depends on the individual. Some can handle it, others can't. Some see sex as this extremely important and magical thing while others just see it as not a big deal.
> 
> I don't even know which category I fall into, but I personally don't think I could do it on a first date. That's not because I'm uptight or think negatively of it. And it's not because I fear that our relationship would be ruined because of it. It's mainly because I just like to take things slowly.


Yeah. Agree to disagree basically what everyone is saying lol Or what I am saying.


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## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

It's a stupid and outdated concept. No, I would not have a problem and yes, if the date was fun, I'd call them back.


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## LorenLuke (Jan 3, 2011)

Outdated concept or no... I wouldn't. I'd rather wait till someone is willing to sign a document that essentially say 'I want to spend my life with you.'

If there's any break-up before that, it's far less messy, and guaranteed 100% baby free. Money is saved on birth control, which can be spent in other ways. Point being... I don't want to give something to someone who would just toss it aside.

Society makes me sad, because the idea that if such opportunity presented itself, that if I value the other person enough to turn it down, that that's not the message that would be sent.

If I want intimacy, I'd rather go for a walk in the park holding hands...


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

LorenLuke said:


> Outdated concept or no... I wouldn't. I'd rather wait till someone is willing to sign a document that essentially say 'I want to spend my life with you.'
> 
> If there's any break-up before that, it's far less messy, and guaranteed 100% baby free. Money is saved on birth control, which can be spent in other ways. Point being... I don't want to give something to someone who would just toss it aside.
> 
> ...


Oh god. That sounds like hell. Women want you to lock it down blindly these days, but u need that rough and tumble. U need to live together and have sex or how will you know if its real? Its real life, mr rogers and mama said don't apply


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

87wayz said:


> U need to live together


No, you don't. Couples who move in together before marriage have a higher rate of divorce.


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## Tangerine (Feb 16, 2010)

A friend of mine recently had a one night stand of a girl he met on OKC. I asked, "are you going to see her again?" I was rather taken aback when he said "No, I kind of lose respect for women that put out on the first date." I just said back, "Maybe she lost respect for you too." He said, "It doesn't work that way."
Wow, just wow @ double standards

I would, and have.
**** shaming is stupid.
That's my 2 cents.


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

Peter Attis said:


> No, you don't. Couples who move in together before marriage have a higher rate of divorce.


Well, I think with SA or other sensitive conditions, you need to know what you interact like in close proximity situations. You need her to be in the adjoining room when you're on the toilet stinking it up, you need her hair to collect in the bath tub drain, you need her to be in your face constantly so that a rhythm forms and _you_ dont start getting in the way of _yall_


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

Tangerine said:


> A friend of mine recently had a one night stand of a girl he met on OKC. I asked, "are you going to see her again?" I was rather taken aback when he said "No, I kind of lose respect for women that put out on the first date." I just said back, "Maybe she lost respect for you too." He said, "It doesn't work that way."
> Wow, just wow @ double standards
> 
> I would, and have.
> ...


Probably shouldn't be friends with douchebags then.

On topic: I think it's all circumstantial. If you're hitting it off and you want to fool around, why not? As long as you're safe about it. I've had encounters like this before, and I usually try to keep things going and pursue a relationship with them afterwards, but sometimes it dies out and there's not much you can do about it. There was only one circumstance where I lost respect for a girl because of this, and it was because she completely broke off contact afterwards as if I didn't exist. I mean if you don't want anything else, that's fine, but you can act like an adult and go your separate ways respectfully.


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## Larkspur (Sep 30, 2009)

I have done it...it just happened. I don't think it was a mistake, but it definitely makes figuring out "what the heck are we?!" more complicated. I don't do one night stands, there has to be something there in order for me to let it get to this point. The person this scenario happened with I could definitely see myself having some sort of relationship with.


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

Tangerine said:


> A friend of mine recently had a one night stand of a girl he met on OKC. I asked, "are you going to see her again?" I was rather taken aback when he said "No, I kind of lose respect for women that put out on the first date." I just said back, "Maybe she lost respect for you too." He said, "It doesn't work that way."
> Wow, just wow @ double standards
> 
> I would, and have.
> ...


Yeah that is pathetic. To me it makes no difference if the person is male o'r female, guys should learn to keep it in their pants. 'man*****' was invented for a reason.


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## niacin (May 26, 2012)

Honestly: yeah I would. If I were so comfortable around a guy that I felt safe enough to get intimate, I would definitely continue seeing him. I don' think that makes somebody a **** or a man-***** at all. The only thing that would stop me in real life is an issue on the opposite spectrum: I'd make all of my partners get tested for stds before we have sex.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

I think my boyfriend tried to have sex with me on our first or second date, after he got me back to his house. Didn't work of course, but still xD. If I dated anyone else though, it would take a very long time to have sex with them, let alone first or second dates. Not really the kind of person to even want sex anyway xD


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## BKrakow (Jul 8, 2010)

Peter Attis said:


> No, you don't. Couples who move in together before marriage have a higher rate of divorce.


anyone who's willing to marry another person without living with them first and actually seeing firsthand if they're really compatible is ****ing insane.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

There is a good possibility that I'm going to get lucky on the first date with this woman I met off okcupid. *fingers crossed* She's a rare breed in that she will put out on the first date if the chemistry is there and doesn't give a **** what people think about that. Maybe its because she's an older woman. There is so much social pressure on women not to do it.


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## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

We don't have the same dating culture as in the US. Over here it's more.. meet at the bar, sleep together, see how it goes from there. None of this prearranged carry on.


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

BKrakow said:


> anyone who's willing to marry another person without living with them first and actually seeing firsthand if they're really compatible is ****ing insane.


Which is why they have a lower rate of divorce, right?


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## BKrakow (Jul 8, 2010)

Peter Attis said:


> Which is why they have a lower rate of divorce, right?


don't really give a toss about "rates of divorce." not divorced doesn't necessarily mean happy. plus, there are so many factors that could contribute to this. maybe people who cohabitate before marriage are simply less likely to be conservative/religious and thus quicker/more willing to get divorced if things aren't working out.


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## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

If I hadn't moved in with my ex I may never have discovered what an unremitting pain in the *** she was. 

Here's to living in sin!


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## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

Probably not.


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## saltyleaf (Dec 30, 2011)

whoa. >>says the conservatives from the 1950's but it's 2012 now so more like "Sex when your eyes meet across the room??" LOL nowadays is "just" sex so who cares. i mean the worst thing that could happen is that you get aids and die :lol but it was totally worth it.


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## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

saltyleaf said:


> whoa. >>says the conservatives from the 1950's but it's 2012 now so more like "Sex when your eyes meet across the room??" LOL nowadays is "just" sex so who cares. i mean the worst thing that could happen is that you get aids and die :lol but it was totally worth it.


:mum


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## Taija (Nov 3, 2008)

I have no moral objection to it, that's for sure. I've never had sex on the first date, but then again, I've never even been on an actual pre-relationship date before.

I don't believe it's something I'd plan to do or do very easily with just anyone, but if the person and situation seemed right, I don't see why not. I wouldn't have lost my virginity to someone I've just me, though.

If I see some actual potential there, I don't believe sex would hurt the possible relationship in anyway. Okay, the build up of sexual tension over time is certainly fun, but I don't think it's needed. I do feel that sex is better when you have an emotional connection to someone (especially when you know each other so well), but if it works out, there's gonna be many, many more times for that, so it doesn't really matter if I have some sex _before _the deep connection as well. And even though the first time with someone is emotionally special for me, physically it's not usually that amazing; it's always kinda awkward and different and you just can't know what the person likes, and it'll be that way whether it happens on the second or seventh date. Just like relationships, sex gets better over time.

If, on the other hand, I feel like there person isn't right (assuming s/he's not a total arsehole), the sex can't hurt either, because hey, and if we're not gonna have anything deeper, we might as well have some sloppy sex. I guess some think that it's ****ty or girls like that are promiscuous, but I think the fact that I've only had sex with people who I've been in a serious relationship with speaks for me. If the guy still thinks that having sex on the first date is wrong of me - well, it's pretty clear he's not the right type of guy for me.

But this is mostly rhetorical, because I doubt I'll be going on any actual dates very soon (if ever), and even if I did, it's not likely I'd end up having sex on the first time.

I have a sorta-but-not-really similiar experience, though; I met my ex-boyfriend of 3 years on the internet and because we lived so far away from each other, it took 8 months till I was able to fly over to meet him. We had been talking over webcams for hours every day during the preceding months and were really, really into each other, but we still recognized there was a chance that we wouldn't click in real life. Fortunately, we pretty much instantly clicked and drove straight to a hotel to have sex. I was 16 back then, it was my first time and I'm very glad it was with him, even though it technically was the first time I was ever physically close to him. But that's of course not the same thing as sex on the first date, since there was a deep connection there already.


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

BKrakow said:


> don't really give a toss about "rates of divorce." not divorced doesn't necessarily mean happy. plus, there are so many factors that could contribute to this. maybe people who cohabitate before marriage are simply less likely to be conservative/religious and thus quicker/more willing to get divorced if things aren't working out.


Whether you care about it is irrelevant--it's a fact. Mind you, I'm not saying every couple needs to do this. Everyone's different, so that may not work for you, but there's a reason some people wait to move in together.


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## Wazzz (Jul 3, 2012)

Yes, but I will consider her as a "buddy ****" only, and may never starts a relation with her, because if she gave me that easely the sex, so she could give to others next day no ?

Not my type. Sex is an important part in a relationship, but shouldnt be given at the first date, only if you just want an adventure, not a relationship.


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## Tazbb2 (Jul 17, 2012)

It's said that women like sex as much as men, but appear to be the ones willing to wait 3-6 months of exclusive dating before sleeping with a guy.:um

I can't remember the last time I read of a man forcing his woman to be celibate for 3 months, much less 6, dangling it as a reward for good behavior. That sort of exclusivity is what a normal individual would call a marriage, and a bad one at that.

Last time I checked, dating - and the inherent process of getting to know as much about someone as possible - didn't require a promise ring on the first date. Sexual attraction and compatibility are just as important in a relationship as how finances are handled, yet there are some women out there who save sex for the very last thing before becoming engaged, if then...and then wonder why the "great guy of their dreams" they've been seeing for the last 3 months cheated on her. It makes no sense that the guy is expected to rise to meet all of the woman needs during dating while the woman completely ignores one of man's most basic needs (not all guys would list sex as #1, but most experts do).

At times, we're the product of our own undoing (not just with SA), but this is just unnecessarily shooing yourself in the foot, the same one you're trying to use to get off to a good start with a prospective partner.

Nothing against those that will make a guy wait some indiscriminate time before having sex, but that makes as much sense as never learning about a guys/girls spending habits during the EARLY stage, and then being shocked and disappointed when you take it to the next level to find out that they are irresponsible or horrible at budgeting. You created that hurt and disappointment yourself by intentionally delaying/hiding/ignoring that aspect of who they are.

My .02...YMMV.


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## BKrakow (Jul 8, 2010)

Peter Attis said:


> Whether you care about it is irrelevant--it's a fact. Mind you, I'm not saying every couple needs to do this. Everyone's different, so that may not work for you, but there's a reason some people wait to move in together.


fair enough. there's also a reason some people remain virgins until marriage, but I still think it's ****ing insane.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

elvin jones said:


> Yes. If the mood is right and the chemistry is there why not. Making the guy wait an arbitrary amount of time even though you both want it makes little sense. You also run the risk of him losing interest if you hold out too long.


It should not be that way, though. Doing it for the sake of losing interest is pretty shallow.


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## blue the puppy (Jul 23, 2011)

Jollygoggles said:


> If I hadn't moved in with my ex I may never have discovered what an unremitting pain in the *** she was.
> 
> Here's to living in sin!


lol! i had kind of the same experience. we only lived together four months but man .. it was at that point i realized i could never marry him.


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## BKrakow (Jul 8, 2010)

Jollygoggles said:


> If I hadn't moved in with my ex I may never have discovered what an unremitting pain in the *** she was.
> 
> Here's to living in sin!





blue the puppy said:


> lol! i had kind of the same experience. we only lived together four months but man .. it was at that point i realized i could never marry him.


lmao, this is exactly what I'm saying. now, think if you had just married that person without testing it out first. at this point you'd be divorced, or considering divorce, or staying in a crappy relationship to avoid going through with a divorce. :b


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## Daft (Jan 5, 2012)

millenniumman75 said:


> It should not be that way, though. Doing it for the sake of losing interest is pretty shallow.


If they can't understand the difference between "dangling it in front of their nose" or whatever and viewing physical intimacy as something for someone you've already established a degree of emotional intimacy and trust with, I don't consider their leaving a loss in the slightest.

Bon appetit, other ladies.


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## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

To me, sex on the first date only counts if you already know the person.

It depends. If you already know the person , already are good friends, and one day a normal outing becomes a date that ends in sex ... I don't see the problem. If anything it serves as a marker that you have moved from friendship to dating.

If you have no prior relation to the person... well....


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## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

BKrakow said:


> lmao, this is exactly what I'm saying. now, think if you had just married that person without testing it out first. at this point you'd be divorced, or considering divorce, or staying in a crappy relationship to avoid going through with a divorce. :b


Yeah, lol. Anyone who goes "Don't have real world experience, trust the stats instead" really needs to work on their critical thinking.


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

I wouldn't mind it, I would just think it odd. I guess I wouldn't expect it is all...
As for dating, if I enjoy their company and we have good chemistry, why not?


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## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

HustleRose said:


> Would you guys have sex on the first date?
> -If so, would you want to continue dating this person afterwards?
> -If you wouldn't, why?


I would never say no to sex with a woman I was attracted to whether it be on the first date, or within the first minute. I have a high sex drive. I would not mislead a girl by dating her only for sex. If sex is all I want with her, I'd make that very clear. I would continue dating a girl if I genuinely enjoyed being around her and felt there was a connection between us. If I meet a girl and she's really cool, that's awesome. Sex or no sex, I'm not going to stop hanging out with her if she's fun to be around. If she doesn't want to have sex right away, I'm not going to give her an ultimatum or some ****. But I won't turn her down if she wants to.


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## SoulReveille (Jul 14, 2012)

I would never do that. Theres a comfort level I like to have with someone before taking that step. Sex is just better if you're more comfortable and you know the person you're sleeping with, for me anyway.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

Yep agree with comments. If shes happy to have sex on the first date that is shows what sort of person she is. Chances are she would of slept with a lot of guys and have all insecurity's that you will only find out about later (I know 1 girl I met was like that, it was 3 months down the line when id found out shed slept with more guys than I could count, shed had 3 miscarriages and couldnt have kids again, plus still had some emotional feelings for her ex's).

At very most I would say, if you met the girl online, spoke for a month or 2 before meeting, connected well and then met up, ended kissing, and she stayed at yours fully clothed and nothing happened but cuddles, thats perfectly fine cause you would of already had some time to connect before meeting in person and wouldnt even be kissing unless the similarity's and bonding was the same in person


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## Taija (Nov 3, 2008)

Tazbb2 said:


> It's said that women like sex as much as men, but appear to be the ones willing to wait 3-6 months of exclusive dating before sleeping with a guy.:um
> 
> I can't remember the last time I read of a man forcing his woman to be celibate for 3 months, much less 6, dangling it as a reward for good behavior. That sort of exclusivity is what a normal individual would call a marriage, and a bad one at that.


Well, for the record, I've never _ever _heard of a girl who waited 6 months till they slept with a guy, and not many who waited 3 months, either. So either you're mistaking the behaviour of a small percentage of girls as something regular, or there's some big cultural differences here.

In any case, if some girl did do that, I seriously doubt it would be because she's "dangling it as a reward for good behaviour". She might even some big trust issues, or has had very bad experiences, in which case being patient with her and talking it through would be vital.

If she has truly decided to not do it with any guy before she's completely sure it's the right one, I respect her decision, and you should, too. If you feel that it's a problem (I personally believe that a good physical relationship is important when you're getting serious, but people have different views), maybe that kind of girl is not the right for you.


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

Body parts don't come with timers, live life bc ur gonna die, and it will suck. You'll get old and nasty and everybody will be young n looking good. Then they forget about you

Live it up, be safe, have fun


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## kosherpiggy (Apr 7, 2010)

i certainly would. i think it's so rude to say to have respect for yourself because it's very ****-shaming.


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## HustleRose (Jun 19, 2009)

kosherpiggy said:


> i certainly would. *i think it's so rude to say to have respect for yourself because it's very ****-shaming*.


:yes


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## HustleRose (Jun 19, 2009)

GD8 said:


> pretty sure there's already like a **** ton of guys who would have no problem ****ing on the first date rofl


Yes, but not guys who'd see the woman the same way or take her seriously afterwards. :roll


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## GD8 (May 7, 2011)

HustleRose said:


> Yes, but not guys who'd see the woman the same way or take her seriously afterwards. :roll


Well here's my take on it.

It kind of sends a message, if she's willing to **** on the first date then she's most likely already done that plenty of times and obviously those dudes were nothing special so it would make me feel like I'm just another guy to her. That's what would make me lose interest, not the actual fact that she's willing to have sex on the first date. Obviously not all guys view it the same way as me but for me it has absolutely nothing to do with **** shaming or not being able to take her seriously.


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## Primordial Loop (Apr 5, 2011)

It’s pretty inane to pass judgment/come to a conclusion based off of assumptions and generalizations alone. Sure, I could see how it might set off an alarm and raise a few doubts, but to completely dismiss a person because you think you have them pegged after only one night seems a bit ridiculous to me. 

And while I’m not particularly behind idea of sex on the first date, I’m certainly not opposed to it either. If things lead up to it and we’re both comfortable with it, then so be it. The dynamics of the relationship (assuming there's one left) will change no doubt, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll "ruin" or "spoil" it. Hell, it could turn out better than if we hadn’t; the only way to find out is to follow through though.


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## HeavyweightSoul (Jul 24, 2012)

elvin jones said:


> Yes. If the mood is right and the chemistry is there why not. Making the guy wait an arbitrary amount of time even though you both want it makes little sense. You also run the risk of him losing interest if you hold out too long.


Bad choice. Banging a dude to keep his interest isnt gonna work out. im sayin it here and not in real life cuz I dont wanna cockblock lol


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## GD8 (May 7, 2011)

Mimic said:


> If she's willing to have sex on the first date, then that could simply mean that she enjoys having sex and *doesn't give it as much emotional weight as you do*. And a first date is so early on in a relationship that of course she is only going to see you as "just another guy". It is only if she wants a second that you become more.
> 
> And if she doesn't, then at least you got laid.


If she doesn't then we'd just be on two totally different wavelengths in general and it wouldn't work out anyway.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

1) have done it

2) with a stranger

3) It was horrible (his thing was tiny)

end of story


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## John316C (May 1, 2011)

a date - no/romantic interest no, paid sex yeah only if i have no one to love. at least i can get superficial love..


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## blue the puppy (Jul 23, 2011)

calichick said:


> 1) have done it
> 
> 2) with a stranger
> 
> ...


LOL!!


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## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

calichick said:


> 1) have done it
> 
> 2) with a stranger
> 
> ...


dat bellybutton!


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

This whole sex-date paranoia is stupid. It's just sex. It's not a big deal guys


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

I wouldn't want to but I don't doubt seducing me would be very hard lol heck I doubt I'll need actual seducing..touch my leg and I'm in the zone. When I get in that zone my brain loses all it's intellectual functionality. I devolve into a chimp, a chimp IN THE ZONE! 

Now afterwards I'd probably feel both proud and ashamed...proud that I got some and ashamed that I was too weak to live by my values.

I would probably still date her but I'd feel like I ruined the wait..and I would feel like the relationship has already lost a bit of it's potential. I'd fear sex would be the go-to of most of our interactions and with a new date it'd slow down our learning of each other and the sex would cloud my rationality far too often.

Short answers

1. Not with my brain fully functional lol
2. Meh, sure but I'm disappointed in myself lol
3. If I stopped dating her after sex it's because something went horribly wrong...in the bedroom =O


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## Royals (Jul 20, 2012)

Yes, mind sex


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Sex on the first date is so 15 years ago.

Try sex BEFORE the first date within 1 hour of knowing someone...
That's what I like to call making a *mind-blowing* first impression :lol


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## blue the puppy (Jul 23, 2011)

calichick said:


> Try sex BEFORE the first date within 1 hour of knowing someone...
> That's what I like to call making a *mind-blowing* first impression :lol


oh yes, ive been there :teeth


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

As soon I hear a girl doing this with a friend I immediately check out mentally on us ever having something, its probably not fair but I'd rather just not know. Even when a girl does it with me I try not to be naive about it.

Its hard to say though.. like if people have been friends or known each other a long time compared to just a one night stand with someone you know nothing about, so its not all black and white.


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## LuxAeterna (Aug 13, 2010)

Have I? Yes. Would I again? Nah.

My beau and I had sex two weeks after our first date. The first date could have very well led to sex. It wouldn't have changed how things progressed at all.


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