# Having Anti-Social Parents



## QuietRiot444 (Jan 12, 2012)

Maybe others on here can relate, but I have extremely anti-social, quiet, conservative, and reserved parents. No doubt this played into the person I am today, socially awkward, anti-social, and reclusive at times. In a way, looking back on my childhood through high-school, I've slowing come to the realization that I was very sheltered. My family has always been very passive-aggressive, I rarely ever heard my parents fight, and we rarely had friends/family over to our house. In addition, the words "I love you" were not too common from either of my parents, and my Dad has only recently started saying it.....which caught me off-guard the first time it happened.

Don't get me wrong, I had a good childhood and I'm very fortunate...... I guess I'm just reflecting on some things that I've been thinking about lately. I feel like my relationship with my parents has had a huge impact on my social anxiety......always terrified of disappointing them (feeling like a "owe" them something), even when I was in college. I guess I've just always been one of those people who are always trying to please others, I've always wanted everyone to like me, conformed/adapted myself to fit in with a group of friends.


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## VaeVictis (Jan 18, 2012)

My mom suffered from agorophobia (look it up) and depression. I know it contributed to the way I am, but I don't blame her. Thing is now that she's older (69) she's become the opposite. I was asking her for advice on how she was able to change and she just looked at me and said "Son, I'm too old to give a S***." Funniest thing I ever heard. Been trying to follow her example ever since.


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## immortal80 (Feb 25, 2009)

i know my mom is pretty socially anxious, but i don't blame it on her that i'm the way i am. it's not her fault she is the way she is, and i can understand what she's going through with a much better appreciation than other people.


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## talisman (Aug 5, 2005)

Yeah my parents don't have any friends and rarely ever socialise, even with family. My dad is shy but my mum isn't - she just chooses not to make friends with people for some reason. I think many of mr troubles have come from being brought up without much social activity going on in the household and little incentive to go out and make friends.


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## Hannarinoe (Feb 12, 2012)

My dad is anti-social. His best friend is his brother, hes extremely worried about what people think of him. In public, when I'm with him and my little brother, my brother tries to embarrass him on purpose, and you can tell my dad gets extremely uncomfortable. He was always shy in high school too, he told me. Thats where I developed my SA from most likely. My mother on the other hand is out going, confident, makes best friends with practically everyone she meets. Its only me that doesnt like her, we don't get along and I dont live with her. So I guess I never really got exposed to many strangers when I was younger, my dad didnt have people over and never went out.


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## quietmusicman (Feb 3, 2012)

My parents never go out, not even for a date or something. i guess that effected me in a way


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## fallen18 (Aug 25, 2011)

It's weird b/c neither of my parents were ever socially anxious they're actually really outgoing. Which leads me to think that my SA is more b/c of a environmental cause :/


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## Duke of Prunes (Jul 20, 2009)

Nobody here seems to understand what ‘anti-social’ actually means...


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## Setolac (Jul 26, 2009)

Duke of Prunes said:


> Nobody here seems to understand what 'anti-social' actually means...


Haha, if your parents are anti-social then they should be already locked up in jail.


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## milkplease (Oct 10, 2013)

anti social means you're not sociable.

If people spent more time being sociable then they wouldn't need a stupid forum to spend time pondering "oh, why am i so anti social" would they.

It's an inferiority issue or some kind of irrational fear, and yes it's a choice whether you are even aware of what you're doing to yourself or not. And the worst part is people actually fear not having something to fear HA what a joke.

I went through the same **** myself, every symptom said SAS and yeah for a while I believed it and even accepted it for a while I consider myself lucky that I snapped out of it when I did, I started to take control of my subconscious or wherever that snap of negativity comes from, and began to replace it with positivity. It's easy - just use the most powerful organ inside you...yes your brain, why does nobody think anymore!?? I blame Google, Media, Alcohol, Celebrity self portrayals - you need to be *like this* to fit in blah blah blah. 

Actually, it's a thinking disease! and probably the ultimate test of inner strength, as with depression, and trust me I only know because I've been there.

Stop wasting your time looking for people to blame and reasons why YOU are socially anxious and start to not be socially anxious, man up you bunch of wimps.

Oh and stop hanging around with...yep socially anxious, negative people, that will get you nowhere.

Believe in yourself, because, you are great, you are interesting, you're unique, and life is ****ing awesome.


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## milkplease (Oct 10, 2013)

Forgot to say, my parents are extremely anti social too, well my dad is my mum is sociable and very outgoing but it seems like my dad holds her back. Anyway what I was going to say is that, I don't blame them at all for my little stint of SA because I know deep down I am or can be whoever I want to be.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

milkplease said:


> anti social means you're not sociable.
> 
> If people spent more time being sociable then they wouldn't need a stupid forum to spend time pondering "oh, why am i so anti social" would they.
> 
> ...


Anti-social means you are exhibiting sociopathic behaviour. Asocial means you are not social. Please get this common mistake corrected.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Noca said:


> Anti-social means you are exhibiting sociopathic behaviour. Asocial means you are not social. Please get this common mistake corrected.


Thank you.


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## CrimsonTrigger (Jun 28, 2011)

Someone corrected the thread title before I got a chance to. No wedgies after school for me :b

Anyways, my parents are somewhat asocial. My mom has no friends, but she's friendly to people. My dad is distant. They seem to be used to it.


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## Beingofglass (May 5, 2013)

My parents were decently social until I was like 12-13 years old, then they became very reclusive; never seeking out their friends, rarely going out, and all that.
Today they're pretty much reclusive all the time, except that my dad has made a return to being social Again a few years back.


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