# Crying in therapy



## jas498 (Feb 22, 2008)

I've been seeing the same therapist for 1-2 months now and I always feel so ashamed and inadequate when I start crying. This isn't the therapist in particular- just in general I guess. Last time I started tearing up in therapy, I confessed to the therapist that I told myself I wouldn't cry. He kind of joked that that is a pretty preposterous rule for me to make. Now that I think about it, he's right. But why can't I seem to get over this? I feel like such a blubbering, out of control fool. Anyone else have this problem?


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## n1kkuh (Jul 11, 2008)

Let me tell you, I am a guy and I have nearly cried several times during the therapy session. I managed to hold back my tears during the session, however, I left the room, and during the drive home I couldn't help it any more, I just broke down in my car while driving on the freeway.

I even got a little teary eyed today thinking about my therapist and how much she helped me, I decided to write a thank you letter during my lunch break and I shed a few tears while writing it. Sometimes you gotta just let it out, its healthy, its natural, and it just proves that your a human being.


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## lissette (Jan 20, 2009)

I've had 3 sessions and cried in every single one.


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## SoloSage (Feb 26, 2009)

I've been seeing a therapist for over two years, and not once have I cried (I would if I could) - I'm kinda jealous of you.


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## hopeatsunrise (Feb 26, 2009)

It's ok to cry.. crying can be cleansing. I actually think that it could be a good sign that you're crying in therapy - maybe it means you are feeling safe in the room and trust him enough to let him in to your feelings? Go easy on yourself x


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## Girl_Loner (Mar 17, 2009)

..Don't feel bad, apart from it being probably a pretty common thing for your therapist to witness, it could possibly be more prominent for people with social anxiety?

When I'm under pressure I cry, I don't even have to feel sad. My eyes have a mind of their own! I even tell people (teachers etc) to ignore it because it happens too frequently, I would just try to embrace the idea that you are probably going to cry and that it is fine. I can't think of a place anymore appropriate that a therapy room to let them tears loose.


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## Iced Soul (Jan 28, 2009)

I've never actually cried in therapy, though I have been close. I usually keep my eyes wide and look up because that decreases the feeling, then I start to talk about something else that I know will not make me cry. I know my therapist notices, but she's never said anything.


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

*It is good to cry. To allow yourself to feel the sadness and let it find expression. Really it's very healthy. Next time it happens tell yourself, "I'm allowed to cry, I'm allowed to feel this, I'm allowed to work thru this period in my life."*


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## Black_Widow (May 23, 2008)

I think that in fact you did a really healthy thing. Not all people find it easy to let out their emotions out to someone - which is part of what therapy services are there for.

Also agreeing with what Hopeatsunrise and FairleighCalm said.


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## Eraserhead (Sep 23, 2006)

I never allow myself to cry, period. I can't even cry when I'm alone. I suppose it's out of some kind of shame or guilt. It's actually rather debilitating, emotionally. I'm very inhibited and my emotions are buried deeply buried.


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## Pam (Feb 14, 2009)

I have cried so much in sessions that it would be rare if I didn't. But a LOT of the time I wasn't crying because I was sad or upset--it was because I was ashamed of being the way I am. Unfortunately, people see tears and think depression, but for me it was more the shame & embarassment of social anxiety making me feel like a loser! I came up with the phrase "shame crying" so the counselor could understand it. 

But no matter what the emotion is that makes you feel like crying, it doesn't matter--THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT! You need to release/express it, and not just ONE TIME for a FEW MINUTES and THAT'S IT! (We don't put limits on ourselves when it comes to laughing, do we?) Sometimes what has happened to cause the emotions was so bad that it could take years of crying about the same things over & over to release it all the way. (Sorry, that doesn't sound like fun, but in the end, you do feel better, and it's a relief.)


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## LALoner (Dec 3, 2008)

I want to cry. When I was younger I got a lot of stuff out of my system by crying. Around 30 I became cry-impotent.


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## Eugenie (Feb 17, 2009)

I even cry in the waiting room. Going to therapy is overwhelming. Its a big deal for anyone to open up, for us its that much harder, so of course we cry.


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## formaltide (Mar 19, 2009)

Heh, I'm so used to crying that I do it with a straight face now. 

Crying is important. It's an outlet for your feelings, just like when someone gets really angry and starts raging. It's one of the truest feelings and part of you as a human, so denying it would, indeed, be preposterous.

But what are you so ashamed of? Obviously, your therapist didn't care one bit that you were crying, in fact, his comment suggests he expected it. So if nobody else cares that you're crying, why do you care? Why do you torture yourself?


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## MayritaJudith (Mar 27, 2009)

Dont worry, i always cry, it could be that you are nervous or a little depressed about this frustrating SA.


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