# Anyone here who can't have friends?



## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

I can't anymore.


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## Riri11 (Mar 24, 2013)

people try to be friends with me. but I push everyone away.


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## DeniseAfterAll (Jul 28, 2012)

It's too funny , actually . Even if all of my old high school friends suddenly turned up at my doorstep , I would probably decline their invitations to go out for dinner .. simply because we'd have absolutely nothing to talk about after all this time .

Shutting my curtain and bedroom door is a guilty pleasure .. and I cannot lie to myself - this is what the back of my mind is asking me to do . Why else would it be telling me to isolate myself .. if it didn't have a good reason to do so ?

How would Astronauts survive on future missions to Mars ? Maybe NASA has the cure to all of our problems ..

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/21/m...ion-to-mars-could-bore-you-to-death.html?_r=0


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## going going Gone (Nov 24, 2014)

no but i sometimes forget i have friends


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## going going Gone (Nov 24, 2014)

DeniseAfterAll said:


> It's too funny , actually . Even if all of my old high school friends suddenly turned up at my doorstep , I would probably decline their invitations to go out for dinner .. simply because we'd have absolutely nothing to talk about after all this time .
> 
> Shutting my curtain and bedroom door is a guilty pleasure .. and I cannot lie to myself - this is what the back of my mind is asking me to do . *Why else would it be telling me to isolate myself .. if it didn't have a good reason to do so ?*
> 
> ...


just because someone gets anxiety or feels like they need to hibernate 24/7 doesn't mean they have a logical reason to do so. it's just a habit or a false alarm that you can train yourself out of by repeated exposure to whatever it is that you're avoiding.


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## DeniseAfterAll (Jul 28, 2012)

going going Gone said:


> just because someone gets anxiety or feels like they need to hibernate 24/7 doesn't mean they have a logical reason to do so. it's just a habit or a false alarm that you can train yourself out of by repeated exposure to whatever it is that you're avoiding.


I've been exposing myself for more than 2 years now .

The conclusion I seem to have come to is that people usually bore me .. through no fault of their own .. especially when they're in Groups .

Everybody just manages to find something to talk about .. spontaneously .. as I drift off into my fantasy land .. staring into blank space .. until someone finally asks me why I'm so Quiet .

It's not that I'm too scared to say anything - I just don't feel the Need to say anything .

Could also be the fact that nobody would really be interested in what I have to say .. as it is usually the case .


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## Hayman (Dec 27, 2014)

I don't have any friends any more. I haven't for a long time. I haven't seen any former 'friend' of mine for almost ten years. That should give you all an indication of how 'popular' I am...

I have to be honest, I don't want any of my childhood friends back. They're in the past. I have thought long and hard about this over the years but I have to be realistic. Most will have forgotten me by now. Even those I re-discovered on Facebook (when I had an account) simple cyber-snubbed me. We have practically nothing in common any more. They're almost all married or are in very long-term relationships and have been for many years. Typically, many of them now have kids. Some of them no longer live in the area. Two are no longer in the country, even... I highly doubt I'd even recognise some of them now. 

In short, they've all moved on and lead normal lives. 'Lady Luck' waved her magic wand over them all to grant them progress. Meanwhile, my life stalled at 16 and never got going again. I was simply left behind. It would be too painful for me to go back to them (not as if any of them want me to anyway), as it would just show what an absolute wasteful non-event my life has been for well over a decade. I have literally nothing to tell them. I’m doing nothing, going nowhere and seeing no one. 

If I were to have any friends again, I doubt I would be as open to them as I was with my original small group of friends. There’s no point. I don't want to be hurt, snubbed or insulted any more. I've seen enough of that to last me a lifetime already. I simply want them to talk 'on level' with me and respect me for who I am - rather than trying to force me to chance to make them feel better about themselves. Friends at an arms length, basically.

I know may be miserable in doing so, but I think I really am better off being alone. At least I can't insult, snub and desert myself... That's all friends ever really done to me. Certainly in the final two or three years. No one wants to put up with me and at least by being alone and keeping myself to myself, I can do what I want and not worry about what others are negatively thinking about me by doing so.


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## Mxx1 (Feb 3, 2015)

I have no idea how to act if i suddenly got a friend. I have been friendless for so long so i sometimes think i don't have the ability to make friends anymore.


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## greyandgreenbean77 (Dec 23, 2013)

DeniseAfterAll said:


> It's too funny , actually . Even if all of my old high school friends suddenly turned up at my doorstep , I would probably decline their invitations to go out for dinner .. simply because we'd have absolutely nothing to talk about after all this time .
> 
> Shutting my curtain and bedroom door is a guilty pleasure .. and I cannot lie to myself - this is what the back of my mind is asking me to do . Why else would it be telling me to isolate myself .. if it didn't have a good reason to do so ?
> 
> ...


^Same


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

yeah man.


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## chompers (Feb 3, 2015)

I used to feel this way about myself but I was wrong. I hated myself so much I didn't see how I could be of value to anyone. I'm also picky and don't like many people so I convinced myself I didn't like anyone at all. I thought I didn't need anyone, but this thinking made me really unhappy. 

If you genuinely are happy on your own and don't want friends that's one thing, and there's nothing wrong with that. I think most of us are just really lonely, but we're afraid to be vulnerable to people because it's terrifying. There are good people out there who are worth your time, but you have to make an effort to be worth their time too.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

I'm too busy. I can't.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

I don't really care for friends. I mean it would be nice to have people to talk with at school and go to lunch with or w/e, but I rather spend my free time alone or with a hot girl.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

No matter how hard I try, it just doesn't happen. I'm a great listener and I show great interest in what others are doing. In the end, I guess whatever I think I have to offer, is of no interest to anyone. Relationships have to be about give and take and I guess I have nothing anyone wants.


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

Well it sure seems that way to me. Its been that way for years now. I used to have a few good, close friends growing up but by the time I was in my mid 20's I had none. Some were just bad friends and others just drifted away.

Then again, I don't really try that hard to actually make friends.


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## iCod (Feb 17, 2015)

I'm so boring....so shy...so pathetic....so uninteresting....
I won't ever be able to recover from this point....


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## ShadowOnTheWall (Dec 24, 2010)

Clubs and hobby groups man


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

Yep. I have all of the symptoms of avoidant personality disorder.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Not since I have become God. Everyone is too far beneath me. Like ants. No one would be friends with an ant would they?


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## nightsbyfrankocean (Aug 21, 2014)

iCod said:


> I'm so boring....so shy...so pathetic....so uninteresting....
> I won't ever be able to recover from this point....


yoooooo i feel the exact same way. i just feel like im incapable of people liking me u know. i wouldnt want to be friends with myself, i feel like im not kind and warm towards others but i dont know how to change that about myself


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

Yeah. I'm way too avoidant to have friends. If an opportunity presents itself I will surely cancel or find some way to screw it up.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

Cam1 said:


> Yeah. I'm way too avoidant to have friends. If an opportunity presents itself I will surely cancel or find some way to screw it up.


I know the feel.

I still remember you're literally one of the first users to befriend me three years ago on this site by the way, hope you're doing well.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

chompers said:


> I used to feel this way about myself but I was wrong. I hated myself so much I didn't see how I could be of value to anyone. I'm also picky and don't like many people so I convinced myself I didn't like anyone at all. I thought I didn't need anyone, but this thinking made me really unhappy.
> 
> If you genuinely are happy on your own and don't want friends that's one thing, and there's nothing wrong with that. I think most of us are just really lonely, but we're afraid to be vulnerable to people because it's terrifying. There are good people out there who are worth your time, but you have to make an effort to be worth their time too.


I'm never happy though. Doesn't matter if I'm with friends or alone. I use to have some good friends but since I lost them it's impossible to find good friends like them.


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

Malek said:


> I know the feel.
> 
> I still remember you're literally one of the first users to befriend me three years ago on this site by the way, hope you're doing well.


Thanks, hope all is good with you too.


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## Ainnie (Apr 17, 2015)

A friend if you need one


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## Hermiter (Dec 15, 2013)

Riri11 said:


> people try to be friends with me. but I push everyone away.


same here mostly


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

Who needs friends? Not I! :3


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## Sun Burst (Dec 8, 2013)

scarpia said:


> Not since I have become God. Everyone is too far beneath me. Like ants. No one would be friends with an ant would they?


Your post is confusing me. Am I an ant or a worm? I need to know to readjust my life accordingly to this knowledge. Also what is the main difference between an ant and a worm? Is ant an altruist socialist and worm egoist freedom lover? How will I ever understand? Please, help me attain Godhood!


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## Amorphousanomaly (Jun 20, 2012)

I don't bother trying anymore. We just hang out with my sisters and their girlfriends on the weekends if we feel like it. Otherwise it's just the two of us chilling, nbd.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Sun Burst said:


> Your post is confusing me. Am I an ant or a worm? I need to know to readjust my life accordingly to this knowledge. Also what is the main difference between an ant and a worm? Is ant an altruist socialist and worm egoist freedom lover? How will I ever understand? Please, help me attain Godhood!


Your brain seems much larger and better functioning than that of other humans. There may be hope for you worm. If you want answers to your questions you will find them written on some rocks somewhere. In a language that is indecipherable. God works in mysterious ways. You will understand if you become God.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

uffi said:


> The only friend i hang out with nowadays is my cat.


Cats are very good friends. Except when they barf on the bed.


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## AllieG (Feb 20, 2014)

I can't have friends. I've tried. I'm just too mentally unstable for them. Oh well.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

I tried making new friends irl but it's a tad more difficult than I envisioned, it would require a lot of acting on my part, that isn't appealing at all. 

My brother has friends and two of them are my friends by association but I've known these guys for years and lately we don't talk about much aside from shows or games, it gets boring quickly. 

I want to know if I'm at all capable of connecting with new people, try as I might, I can never break that positive acquaintance/friend barrier. It really sucks cause my interests are limited yet even people who share some similar hobbies are always unavailable or if they offer to hangout, I'm coincidentally working that day, ugh.


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## normalsucksbutsodoesSA (Apr 2, 2015)

I have friends. But I'm only actually friends with them when I'm in a certain mindset which I still think is a part of me but not entirely me (cause half of me is quiet, logical and creative kid). They like the half of me when I'm excited, down to party and feeling confident. I wouldn't call them friends tho if it weren't for the fact that they still accept the quiet me. But they don't understand social anxiety and are not as open to explanation.


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## Mattsy94 (Feb 11, 2013)

I'm too different and mentally ill to be friends with normal people.


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## jesse93 (Jun 10, 2012)

I don't even know how to make friends. I use to have friends, but anxiety is a piece of sh*t and caused me to shelter myself out of fear. People say they like me but i can never get past acquaintance anymore. Some days make me really depressed because I feel very lonely all the time. It's actually sad because I get happy when people show any sign of appreciation for me, A simple thing like someone telling me I'm nice can make me happy inside for a little while. It makes me feel like I do have some sort of potential to be worth something to someone.

Shows how much confidence I don't have in myself, heh.


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## lupined (May 12, 2015)

I'm afraid to make friends anymore. Over the years I lost several that were very important to me. Most of my friendships just sort of faded into non-existence, but others, the most important ones, were irreparably damaged by things I did or said. I get so anxious sometimes when I feel like my relationships with people should be closer than they are, like I'm trying so hard and they aren't, and though internally I blame myself because I'm not the type of person they want to be friends with, sometimes I get so worked up that I lash out and blame the other person openly, and that's when I truly end up losing a friend. Now I'm afraid to get close to anyone new, because I don't want to end up hurting them, and have the memory of ruining another friendship haunt me for the rest of my life.

I have one friend, my boyfriend, and though we are both extreme shut-ins, I'd say that unlike me he isn't socially awkward, he just doesn't want to waste time with people. Unless you share a common interest or goal, there's no point in expending the effort to keep up a relationship, at least in his mind. I rather admire that way of thinking. You're never going to have worthwhile, lasting relationships with people if you have nothing in common, so why torture yourself trying to maintain or make friendships that are shallow? Better to be alone.


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