# Help!!! losing my mind



## student2017 (Sep 10, 2015)

So I just started nursing school about two weeks ago. It is a small 2 year school of mostly commuters. I had to live on cam pus because of how far I live, and I am seriously regretting it. There is about 20 girls in the dorm, and they are all best friends. They went to high school together, and all planned to come here. The girl next to me is nice, and sometimes we walk to class together, but she will ditch me for them the first chance she gets. I have spent two weekends here listening to them make plans and I leave my door open so maybe someone will come talk to me, but they run right past my room every time and I can hear them talking about me. I tried talking to them the first few days, but they want absolutely nothing to do with me. I feel so alone here and I don't want to go home every weekend because I know my parents know I have no friends here, but I feel so left out of the group and I hate sitting here listening to them exclude me. They always do homework and study together, and I tried to join a few times and they literally got up and left. I don't want to fail school because I am not getting any help from my peers, but they ignore me. I don't know what to do! they are not the type of people I want to be friends with, but I feel like the biggest loser here. Please help


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

I'm sorry you're in this situation, but you can't expect that they'd simply come to you or include you under these circumstances.

I'd start first by asking to be included in study groups with them. And from there, work towards building connections and possibly friendships.

They don't know you...so it's easy to exclude you. I know you've tried approaching them, but you have to offer something they may not already have.

Put some sort of study guide together for your own purpose, but then offer to share it in a study group. If you become really knowledgeable in a specific area and demonstrate that in class, believe me, you'll get asked to be part of their study group or be receptive if you offer.

This is what I did for my paramedic class.


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## Esther1123 (Oct 10, 2015)

Since they're not your type anyway, you could always find other people outside your dorm to be friends with. You could join a club, say hi to a classmate, or attend an event. If you have your own stuff going on and are having fun, they might notice and see you less as someone to keep out, and more like someone to get in their clique. And even if they don't, it won't matter because you'll be too busy to bother about it. But it sounds like they are thoughtless of others and have narrow horizons. Why settle for what's convenient when you can find people who will be real friends?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LydiaC (Jul 10, 2013)

Social exclusion hurts. I don't blame you for losing your mind! Have you thought about joining any other clubs and trying to meet people there? perhaps find that girl who seems nice to her and ask her if she wants to see a movie some time?


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## Amygdaland (Nov 8, 2015)

Screw these people to be honest. What is this, middle school? It sounds like behaviour I'd see in a group of 12 year olds.
They obviously don't value you as a person, so why should you continue your attempts to get their attention? You don't need them or their approval. I think what most of us don't realize is how important it is to focus on yourself, rather than on others. You don't need others to validate you. Wanting social interaction is fine, but instead of constantly looking for people to come talk to you, focusing more on improving yourself, setting goals, and pursuing your hobbies is where I would start. It's much easier to love someone who loves themselves.


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