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## Vincenzo (Sep 24, 2005)

So there's this girl who's way, way, way out of my league who is persistantly showing interest in me. Everyone is repeatedly telling me to go for it but I have some scruples about it.

This girl is clearly very f**ked up. Everyone says that she has some severe problems with self esteem etc, and even a social abomination like yours truly can tell she is pretty insane with her wild, darting saucer eyes and constant rapid hand gestures. She basically acts like she is on ecstacy all the time. Also, she's got a pretty serious eating disorder.

Since she would normally be so, so out of my reach, I feel like I'd be taking advantage of her problems if I did anything with her. It is obvious that she's going for an awkward nerd like me because of her low self esteem, and I don't think I could go through with anything without feeling like a gigantic arsehole.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation?


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## Failure (Feb 4, 2007)

*re: Relationships and sex with extremely troubled people*

Well sort of...i didn't do anything because i'd of felt like a giant ******* and thought it would be morally wrong, and then because i had no self esteem my self.

I work as an electrician and was working at someone's home. Well it was a real mess so it took my a couple of days to get the work done and their daughter was flirting with me the entire time, she was around 17-19judging by her looks but i didn't ask her. I ignored her completly because I'd have felt like a dirty son of a ***** if i were to do anything even though she was a sexy girl.

And one that relates more. when i was in school. I was in 12th grade and some girl who was a 9th grader was showing alot of intrest in me, but i never went for it. She was actually one of the better looking girls at my school, if i remember she was about a 10/10 face and 7/10 body. I had no idea why she was showing intest in me and my personality was (is) so ****ed up i was sure she would not like me when i started talking to her.

I think I made the right choice in my first situation and the wrong choice in my second situation.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

*Re: Relationships and sex with extremely troubled people*



Vincenzo said:


> Everyone says that she has some severe problems with self esteem etc, and even a social abomination like yours truly can tell she is pretty insane with her wild, darting saucer eyes and constant rapid hand gestures. She basically acts like she is on ecstacy all the time. Also, she's got a pretty serious eating disorder.
> 
> Since she would normally be so, so out of my reach, I feel like I'd be taking advantage of her problems if I did anything with her.
> Has anyone else been in a similar situation?


Vincenzo,

I am kind of surprised by the remark by "everyone". That seems a bit off-base, but that is just me. If you honestly don't feel there could be anything between you, too - keep it platonic at best. Don't get yourself into a relationship if things don't seem right. If she needs help, be encouraging, but not enabling!


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## Vincenzo (Sep 24, 2005)

Like, not literally everyone who knows her, but it's been made clear to me by several people that she is outrageously maladjusted. I am attracted to her, but I know intellectually that it wouldn't be right and I would be exploiting her weakness. I suppose I should turn it down.


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## AliBaba (Nov 16, 2005)

*Re: re: Relationships and sex with extremely troubled people*



Failure said:


> I work as an electrician and was working at someone's home. Well it was a real mess so it took my a couple of days to get the work done and their daughter was flirting with me the entire time, she was around 17-19judging by her looks but i didn't ask her. I ignored her completly because I'd have felt like a dirty son of a ***** if i were to do anything even though she was a sexy girl.


Boy that's a scenario straight out of a porn flick.

"It was summer vacation and I was at home and sooooo bored. I heard a knock on the door and I went to answer in my tee shirt. Much to my delight, it was our electrician. He's so unbelievably dreamy!!"

"Hello ma'am. I'm here to fix ze air conditioning. I am an expert."

The plot is ludicrous. You can imagine where it goes from there.

. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
he fixes the air conditioning. You're a better man than I for passing on that situation. :nw :nw

Matt, Matt, Matt


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

*re: Relationships and sex with extremely troubled people*

my boss is like that. not worth it, just look the other way and she'll eventually get the hint that youre not interested. it'll take a year but she'll get it


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## SunLite (Jan 4, 2005)

*re: Relationships and sex with extremely troubled people*

If you're interested go for it yo. If you do get into a relationship with this person you WILL see what it's like and can get that experience in with her. You can see what it is like first hand.


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## Vincenzo (Sep 24, 2005)

Like, the idea that an actual relationship could develop and last for longer than a matter of weeks is a joke. I know this but I'm not sure if she does.

My main problem is that I've recently discovered I'm not as sociopathic as previously assumed and I do to some extent have ethics. It might be really arrogant of me to psychoanalyse this person but it's more than obvious that she is going for me out of self-loathing.

I mean, as soon as a woman shows the mildest interest in me, I immediately think 'issues', and yet I've had no scruples about doing things in the past, but this is the only case where I can't pretend any problems she might have are figments of my imagination. I am thinking out loud now so I will stop.

thanks for your replies


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## NONfiction (Dec 30, 2006)

Vincenzo listen to yourself bud..

Give her a chance.. you've already stated she's physically attractive, now get to actually know her. How many people do you think have said **** behind your back? made remarks that werent accurate about you? probably a good amount, im guessing. Whats one date gonna hurt? Who knows, you may actually become attracted to her personality as well.

NON says "go for the gold". Give it a chance, and screw what everybody else says about the girl.. I've missed out on alot of opportunities because I cared what other people thought, dont let that happen to you.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

*re: Relationships and sex with extremely troubled people*

Well, it seems like Vincenzo has seen red flags and obviously the situation doesn't feel right to him. It sounds like he knows the girl has serious issues so I think it's best for him to follow his instincts and stay away.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Vincenzo said:


> Like, the idea that an actual relationship could develop and last for longer than a matter of weeks is a joke. I know this but I'm not sure if she does.
> 
> My main problem is that I've recently discovered I'm not as sociopathic as previously assumed and I do to some extent have ethics. *It might be really arrogant of me to psychoanalyse this person but it's more than obvious that she is going for me out of self-loathing.*
> 
> ...


You're being too hard on yourself. I don't know what you look like, but a girl could fall for your personality alone. I'm just saying, don't think something is wrong if someone shows interest in you...though I'm getting the impression that something may very well be wrong with the particular girl you're talking about. You know what's best.


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## Vincenzo (Sep 24, 2005)

See, my personality is actually the issue, which is why it's such a rarity that someone will be as persistant as she is. Like, everyone who knows me for a certain period of time knows that I am basically a scared infant trying to masquerade as a 20 year old, so the fact that she's not at least relegated me to her friend zone yet is best explained by her well-documented problems.

NONfiction - I do like her personality, but it's a non-issue really. I don't want to be 'that guy' who's taking advantage of some poor girl's problems. There would be something decidedly creepy about it.

anyway, thanks for all your replies.


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## OneSADClown (Apr 14, 2004)

*Re: re: Relationships and sex with extremely troubled people*



AliBaba said:


> Failure said:
> 
> 
> > I work as an electrician and was working at someone's home. Well it was a real mess so it took my a couple of days to get the work done and their daughter was flirting with me the entire time, she was around 17-19judging by her looks but i didn't ask her. I ignored her completly because I'd have felt like a dirty son of a ***** if i were to do anything even though she was a sexy girl.
> ...


yeah, Logjammin's a classic. :lol


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## Xplash (Sep 28, 2005)

*re: Relationships and sex with extremely troubled people*

Stop over analyzing the situation and just take her out on a date. You never know, maybe you will hit it off with her.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

*Re: Relationships and sex with extremely troubled people*



Vincenzo said:


> So there's this girl who's way, way, way out of my league who is persistantly showing interest in me. Everyone is repeatedly telling me to go for it but I have some scruples about it.
> 
> This girl is clearly very f**ked up. Everyone says that she has some severe problems with self esteem etc, and even a social abomination like yours truly can tell she is pretty insane with her wild, darting saucer eyes and constant rapid hand gestures. She basically acts like she is on ecstacy all the time. Also, she's got a pretty serious eating disorder.
> 
> ...


Nope. But my recomendation is treat her with respect and dignity even if she shows signs of not respecting herself. Don't take advantage of her. If anything maybe through sharing your disorders she'll open up to you sharing her own and maybe you can help each other make positive progress. As for feeling like an @sshole that is strictly a perceptual thing and in my opinion is directly related to how you go into the relationship. If you are going in with a heartless mindset then that would be being an @sshole but if you go in truly wanting to get to know her then I see no issue with it. If you go in simply because it will be an easy lay I'll just say wow


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Strange Religion said:


> Vincenzo said:
> 
> 
> > Like, the idea that an actual relationship could develop and last for longer than a matter of weeks is a joke. I know this but I'm not sure if she does.
> ...


There are those of us that don't have a personality or at least to most people we look like the living dead :lol


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

Follow your instincts. Don't get involved with her. You say you don't want to take advantage of her. That's good and nice, but do it for your own sake too. If she's very maladjusted, it's likely the relationship won't be healthy, and you'll both get hurt, in the end.


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## Vincenzo (Sep 24, 2005)

I broke it off with her completely shortly after I made my last reply. Still, thanks for your replies.

It wasn't for reasons like it would be unhealthy, it was just because I would clearly be taking advantage. Drunkenly making out was as far as it went, and I feel like kind of an arsehole for even doing that. Sex or a relationship would have been absolutely reprehensible on my part, so it couldn't be done.


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