# Weekly Self-Improvement Challenge #1: Just Say Hi



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Hello there! This is the official inauguration of the weekly self-improvement challenge thread! These threads will mostly cater towards dealing with the opposite sex (or whoever the hell you're attracted to - no bestiality though!), which will ultimately lead to an increase in general social ability, confidence, and muscle mass. This is for guys AND girls, and this week's works as follows:

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Just Say Hi
Stop a member of the sex you are attracted to and initiate a conversation.

If you want to improve your social confidence and break through your anxiety through social exposure, sign up for this challenge by saying so in this thread. You will have 7-10 days (undecided) to approach at least one *RANDOM* person that you are attracted to (sorry, parent doesn't count!) and at least say hello. This DOES NOT include walking by someone who is walking in the opposite direction and saying "hi" quickly as you pass by. This means going up to someone, smiling, saying "hi there!", and talking to that person. How exactly the conversation goes and how short or long it is DOES NOT MATTER. All that matters is you initiate some sort of conversation and then do your best.

Examples:

Talking to someone in line at Starbucks
Sitting next to and initiating conversation with that cute guy/girl in class
Stopping someone walking down the street or on campus
Talking to the cutie looking at your favorite book in the bookstore
ANY OTHER SITUATION IN THE WORLD

Once you complete the challenge, you must describe the situation in detail in this thread. If you DO NOT complete the challenge, you will be crossed off the list and will not be able to participate in the next one. Sounds harsh, but the time is NOW to make the change in your life, and there is no excuse not to give it your all. Plus, we're all in this together. No matter what level of social ability and confidence you are at, it doesn't matter. We're all starting from the ground up, so let's take this journey together and kick some ***!






http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are.html

PARTICIPANTS
--------------------------
rymo
*bwidger85*
crashnbasher
*Logitech*
srschirm
Fruitcake
seafolly
*Barette*
WD3
*Zeeshan*
splitimage
*tbyrfan*
*squall78*
stoolie
*nautilus*
Ivan AG
Primordial Loop
*Sourdog*
*Animekid*


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

sounds good! can't wait to see everyone's progress/results! 

sign me up!


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## NoName99 (Jul 3, 2011)

rymo said:


> If you DO NOT complete the challenge, you will be crossed off the list and will not be able to participate in the next one.


Lol... that may actually work in keeping people motivated. I'll be subscribing to this thread, that's for sure! (But not the challenge though! :no:afr)


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

rymo your avatar pic is very fitting in my mind. But then again I am biased and think cowboys are freakin' awesome. Anywho not sure if you get this a lot but I'm sure quite a bit of people appreciate your input on here. Keep up the good fight bro.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

NoName99 said:


> Lol... that may actually work in keeping people motivated. I'll be subscribing to this thread, that's for sure! (But not the challenge though! :no:afr)


This is a SAS site. I'm sure everyone relates to how difficult these challenges can be. I am nothing but support for those who participate regardless of what happens.


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## crashnbasher (Mar 6, 2012)

This sounds like a good idea and I think it will bring out the competitive side of me. I don't post often but I read almost daily. This forum has made it easier to cope with SA knowing that others face the same challenges I do. Sign me up and I hope this works


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## Logitech (Jul 30, 2011)

BRING IT ON. Put me on that ****.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Great idea! I want to say that one of my jobs is at a major retail clothing store, so I end up talking to numerous women every time I work, one of those times being tonight. Is it fair I get credit talking to a woman there, or should it be non-work related for me?


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## Fruitcake (Jan 19, 2012)

This is a great idea. I'm in. I'll give it my all until I get to a challenge that's too overwhelming, then I will gracelessly bow out and spend the next week eating icecream and cuddling my cat for moral support.
For the first challenge do you mean it has to be someone we've never talked to before?


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

srschirm said:


> Great idea! I want to say that one of my jobs is at a major retail clothing store, so I end up talking to numerous women every time I work, one of those times being tonight. Is it fair I get credit talking to a woman there, or should it be non-work related for me?


Lucky you! If you can steer a conversation with a customer into non-store related topics, that would be best. And remember, talking to some old lady doesn't count, it has to be someone you have some level of attraction to.



Fruitcake said:


> This is a great idea. I'm in. I'll give it my all until I get to a challenge that's too overwhelming, then I will gracelessly bow out and spend the next week eating icecream and cuddling my cat for moral support.
> For the first challenge do you mean it has to be someone we've never talked to before?


Yes.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

rymo said:


> Luck you! If you can steer a conversation with a customer into non-store related topics, that would be best. And remember, talking to some old lady doesn't count, it has to be someone you have some level of attraction to.


Okay, definitely count me in for this challenge!


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

srschirm said:


> Great idea! I want to say that one of my jobs is at a major retail clothing store, so I end up talking to numerous women every time I work, one of those times being tonight. Is it fair I get credit talking to a woman there, or should it be non-work related for me?


In a way I wish I still had my retail job and I would be in for this challenge. Looking back on it I could of pulled countless times. Some girls there asked me for a hug (random), others were looking and smiling and some even would go on about this item they were buying and all sorts of other stuff like asking what time I finished, if its been busy, saying they are going out at the weekend....

But I think at the time my confidence was lower than it is now, I doubted myself and only once went deeper into conversation with this 1 girl... Then she came in a few more times, we spoke every time and she gave me her number.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

pete24 said:


> In a way I wish I still had my retail job and I would be in for this challenge. Looking back on it I could of pulled countless times. Some girls there asked me for a hug (random), others were looking and smiling and some even would go on about this item they were buying and all sorts of other stuff like asking what time I finished, if its been busy, saying they are going out at the weekend....
> 
> But I think at the time my confidence was lower than it is now, I doubted myself and only once went deeper into conversation with this 1 girl... Then she came in a few more times, we spoke every time and she gave me her number.


All I know is that you're out and about enough to easily complete this little challenge. You should absolutely sign up.


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

Im not signing up but im interested to see how people get on.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Droidsteel said:


> Im not signing up but im interested to see how people get on.


I am so far thoroughly disappointed by the lack of interest in this challenge. LET'S GO PEOPLE, NOW OR NEVER!


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## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

It's an awesome challenge. 
Does it count if you just find the person good looking? I may be fuzzy on the "attracted to" bit. I actually do this on a near daily basis (not necessarily attractive guys but total strangers of all ages, yes) and it sounds weird but I find young people more anxiety-provoking than adults. : P I was talking to a 13 year old boy for half an hour today and it was way harder! *stunted*


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

seafolly said:


> It's an awesome challenge.
> Does it count if you just find the person good looking? I may be fuzzy on the "attracted to" bit. I actually do this on a near daily basis (not necessarily attractive guys but total strangers of all ages, yes) and it sounds weird but I find young people more anxiety-provoking than adults. : P I was talking to a 13 year old boy for half an hour today and it was way harder! *stunted*


Haha...we'll adjust good-looking to sexually attractive. It doesn't have to be someone you would swoon over but yeh...YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! :b


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## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

rymo said:


> Haha...we'll adjust good-looking to sexually attractive. It doesn't have to be someone you would swoon over but yeh...YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! :b


LOL. Okay. On it. It might take a while to find a dude I find attractive though. This will be a very strange scavenger hunt around the city.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

**** it, sign me up. I probably will flake out, but I may as well sign up and wimp out than not even bother in the first place.


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## WD3 (Oct 11, 2012)

Sign me up! I probably will not have an opportunity till next week because I am done with school for the week and will be working.


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

Challenge accepted

I think work shouldn't count


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

seafolly said:


> It's an awesome challenge.
> Does it count if you just find the person good looking? I may be fuzzy on the "attracted to" bit. I actually do this on a near daily basis (not necessarily attractive guys but total strangers of all ages, yes) and it sounds weird but I find young people more anxiety-provoking than adults. : P I was talking to a 13 year old boy for half an hour today and it was way harder! *stunted*


you should find me and come say hi to me.


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## splitimage (Jul 18, 2012)

I'm in!

This will also force me to actually get out and do something outside of work, so it helps on a couple of areas  Aiming for Saturday...


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

splitimage said:


> I'm in!
> 
> This will also force me to actually get out and do something outside of work, so it helps on a couple of areas  Aiming for Saturday...


you should come say hi to me too

Man is Toronto the headquarters for this forum or what


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## splitimage (Jul 18, 2012)

Zeeshan said:


> you should come say hi to me too
> 
> Man is Toronto the headquarters for this forum or what


Having lots of people from Toronto could give us an advantage in this challenge. Team effort


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

holy ****, look at this line up! didn't expect so many people to sign up  more the better


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

If you get kicked out by not completing the challenge, I have a feeling the list will get pretty thinned out. At least I don't expect to be on it XD I'll try, but still.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

I'm hoping the list at least doubles in size tbh. Let's do this people, don't hold back now. If you're sick and tired of sitting around not making any progress, this is your chance.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

alright, well, i'll give 20 dollars to whoever wins this first series. all i ask is that the finals need to have some type of proof to show you did your job (like a picture or something). I'd also like it to be someone that you aren't too familiar with, and not a long time friend or something.

if you guys can't do that then just a congratulations from me . no doubt, much props for participating regardless!

***i don't require rymo to ask this of anyone, or add it to the challenge, but if you want the 20 bucks then the winner needs to show me proof personally/publicly somehow and i'll send them the money. this is just a side bonus on my part.


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## Bryan108 (Mar 1, 2012)

The thought of it terrifies me. Wish I had the courage to join the challenge..good luck guys


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> alright, well, i'll give 20 dollars to whoever wins this first series. all i ask is that the finals need to have some type of proof to show you did your job (like a picture or something)


bro i would gladly give you twice that if you could make me approach a girl

lol


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## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

tbyrfan said:


> Can I do this challenge if I want to improve in interacting with the opposite sex in just a platonic way? If so please sign me up


That'll be my approach.


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## squall78 (Feb 17, 2012)

I'm in. Time to show the world my greatness.


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

Can the Hi be to someone I know? Small town syndrome, even if we never talk I pretty much know who everyone in my age group is. And 99% of them are married.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

awkwardsilent said:


> And 99% of them are married.


Ugh I have the same issue. Too bad we don't live in the same town, we could win the challenge with each other!


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

srschirm said:


> Ugh I have the same issue. Too bad we don't live in the same town, we could win the challenge with each other!


Darn, lol. Seriously though you should wish you were here, I know a plethora of single, beautiful, smart, funny single girls , I could introduce you to! And from your photos your cute enough, and you seem sweet enough if your anything like this in reality , you would need a body gaurd to keep the agressive ones at bey.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

awkwardsilent said:


> Can the Hi be to someone I know? Small town syndrome, even if we never talk I pretty much know who everyone in my age group is. And 99% of them are married.


Preferably not, but if you have no other choice then at least talk to someone who you've never really talked to.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

awkwardsilent said:


> Darn, lol. Seriously though you should wish you were here, I know a plethora of single, beautiful, smart, funny single girls , I could introduce you to! And from your photos your cute enough, and you seem sweet enough if your anything like this in reality , you would need a body gaurd to keep the agressive ones at bey.


So sweet. <3 Thank you! I need all the help I can get.


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## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

Target acquired. 

Now to overcome that little teeny issue of agoraphobia for the conversation. o.o


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## stoolie (Feb 12, 2011)

I'm also in.
Probably not going to make it to round 2, but lets see how it goes.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

stoolie said:


> I'm also in.
> Probably not going to make it to round 2, but lets see how it goes.


Yes you will.


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

rymo said:


> I am so far thoroughly disappointed by the lack of interest in this challenge. LET'S GO PEOPLE, NOW OR NEVER!


Its not that Im not intrested, its just that it seems like a fruitless endevour. Any time Ive approched a girl I didn't know it hasnt gone anywhere so it feels like all the effort and battling anxiety to do so was for nothing :/


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Droidsteel said:


> Its not that Im not intrested, its just that it seems like a fruitless endevour. Any time Ive approched a girl I didn't know it hasnt gone anywhere so it feels like all the effort and battling anxiety to do so was for nothing :/


The goal is just to initiate a conversation, NOTHING more. If you do that you've accomplished something.

I wasn't calling you out personally, though - so no worries if you don't participate.


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

rymo said:


> The goal is just to initiate a conversation, NOTHING more. If you do that you've accomplished something.
> 
> I wasn't calling you out personally, though - so no worries if you don't participate.


The goal should be to try to initiate a conversation IMO even of you fail its fine


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Zeeshan said:


> The goal should be to try to initiate a conversation IMO even of you fail its fine


If you _try _to initiate a conversation, haven't you already initiated? Aside from the person instantly running away for some strange reason, how would it be considered a fail?


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## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

Ive been doing it for years.


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

rymo said:


> If you _try _to initiate a conversation, haven't you already initiated? Aside from the person instantly running away for some strange reason, how would it be considered a fail?


cool. when are we starting!


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## Logitech (Jul 30, 2011)

Guys. I spoke to girl for great justice. And she's older than me too. She seemed moderately delighted to talk to me. Now... I just have to do that a few more times... I was sweating all over, but it felt good getting it out of my mind for a short time.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Logitech said:


> Guys. I spoke to girl for great justice. And she's older than me too. She seemed moderately delighted to talk to me. Now... I just have to do that a few more times... I was sweating all over, but it felt good getting it out of my mind for a short time.


So are you saying you've talked to a random girl? If so, go into more detail plox!

Also, I mean hell we can officially begin things now. If you already talked to someone then that's cool, otherwise, 7 days starting now. More people can sign up as well!!!!!!!


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

Alright, I'm gonna go to Whole Foods tomorrow and I'll say hi to a random guy that I think is attractive. It'll be hard since I can't even go into a grocery store without high anxiety, and that's just when getting food and leaving, but I'll go for it. I'm putting this here so tomorrow, when I go, I'll feel held to my word.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Barette said:


> Alright, I'm gonna go to Whole Foods tomorrow and I'll say hi to a random guy that I think is attractive. It'll be hard since I can't even go into a grocery store without high anxiety, and that's just when getting food and leaving, but I'll go for it. I'm putting this here so tomorrow, when I go, I'll feel held to my word.


Awesome! And now which Whole Foods is this?


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

rymo said:


> Awesome! And now which Whole Foods is this?


It's a Whole Foods near my college, if that's what you meant lol. It's a teeny tiny one which makes me more nervous than the super big one in Milford that's next to my hometown, but w/e.

We just need to say hi, right? I don't need to initiate any small talk?


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Barette said:


> It's a Whole Foods near my college, if that's what you meant lol. It's a teeny tiny one which makes me more nervous than the super big one in Milford that's next to my hometown, but w/e.
> 
> We just need to say hi, right? I don't need to initiate any small talk?


I was hoping for the exact address, but okay. ;p

When you say "just say hi" can you be more specific? Because I just picture two people walking in opposite directions and a quick "hi" and that just...meh...doesn't seem to be enough really.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

rymo said:


> I was hoping for the exact address, but okay. ;p
> 
> When you say "just say hi" can you be more specific? Because I just picture two people walking in opposite directions and a quick "hi" and that just...meh...doesn't seem to be enough really.


The exact address of the Whole Foods near me? Lol it's 3804 Oleander Drive Wilmington, NC. Or I might just be confused to what you mean XD I just had like over 12 hours of sleep and am still not out of bed yet so I'm not clear-minded.

Well I thought if a guy and I are in the aisle together, then if we pass I would smile and say hi. Is that too little? I could say other stuff, once I was in a grocery store and a guy said to me "We keep passing each other", I could say that?


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

^That's awesome! We have our first success story!


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## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

tbyrfan said:


> So, today I talked to a cute guy in my psych class that i've never talked to before. I was hanging out in the building before class and he came in, so I came up to him and said hi. I asked him about the test we recently took and what he thought of it. We got into a conversation about the test, what our answers were, and what we thought of the material and the class. Then we ended up talking about Hurricane Sandy and our experiences with that. We were talking for about 20 minutes until we had to go into class, and the time flew by. We also ended up having to work with partners on an activity in class, and we chose to work together so we were talking for the rest of the class as well. Who knows, maybe I will have a study buddy for the final! lol. But overall i'd say it was a nice experience - i'm really surprised it went well. :yay


:squeeze


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

tbyrfan said:


> So, today I talked to a cute guy in my psych class that i've never talked to before. I was hanging out in the building before class and he came in, so I came up to him and said hi. I asked him about the test we recently took and what he thought of it. We got into a conversation about the test, what our answers were, and what we thought of the material and the class. Then we ended up talking about Hurricane Sandy and our experiences with that. We were talking for about 20 minutes until we had to go into class, and the time flew by. We also ended up having to work with partners on an activity in class, and we chose to work together so we were talking for the rest of the class as well. Who knows, maybe I will have a study buddy for the final! lol. But overall i'd say it was a nice experience - i'm really surprised it went well. :yay












First person to complete the challenge, I'll put a mark next to your name. Feel free to do it again for more props and accolades!


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

I'm going to go to the liquor store this evening to pick up stuff for margaritas.

Should I say more than just how's the weather to the cute cashier girl that twiddles her hair when she talks to me? She's been working there for a year, and I haven't worked up the courage to move past staring at the counter and being awkward around her.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Barette said:


> The exact address of the Whole Foods near me? Lol it's 3804 Oleander Drive Wilmington, NC. Or I might just be confused to what you mean XD I just had like over 12 hours of sleep and am still not out of bed yet so I'm not clear-minded.
> 
> Well I thought if a guy and I are in the aisle together, then if we pass I would smile and say hi. Is that too little? I could say other stuff, once I was in a grocery store and a guy said to me "We keep passing each other", I could say that?


I meant...oh nevermind ;p

Yes, smiling and saying hi is too little for this, but that is in no way diminishing the value of that accomplishment. I say just go for that and see what naturally progresses. If all you could muster up was a "hi", that's still awesome and you should report back anyway. Ideally, you would realize, "hey, that wasn't such a big deal!" and then try it again.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

tbyrfan said:


> So, today I talked to a cute guy in my psych class that i've never talked to before. I was hanging out in the building before class and he came in, so I came up to him and said hi. I asked him about the test we recently took and what he thought of it. We got into a conversation about the test, what our answers were, and what we thought of the material and the class. Then we ended up talking about Hurricane Sandy and our experiences with that. We were talking for about 20 minutes until we had to go into class, and the time flew by. We also ended up having to work with partners on an activity in class, and we chose to work together so we were talking for the rest of the class as well. Who knows, maybe I will have a study buddy for the final! lol. But overall i'd say it was a nice experience - i'm really surprised it went well. :yay


success!


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Canucklehead said:


> I'm going to go to the liquor store this evening to pick up stuff for margaritas.
> 
> Should I say more than just how's the weather to the cute cashier girl that twiddles her hair when she talks to me? She's been working there for a year, and I haven't worked up the courage to move past staring at the counter and being awkward around her.


She twiddles her hair when she talks to you? Oh man, you lucky dog. Tell her you think she's cute or how about, "Friday night and you're still stuck in here? Tell me you're doing something fun tonight!" and go from there.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

rymo said:


> I meant...oh nevermind ;p
> 
> Yes, smiling and saying hi is too little for this, but that is in no way diminishing the value of that accomplishment. I say just go for that and see what naturally progresses. If all you could muster up was a "hi", that's still awesome and you should report back anyway. Ideally, you would realize, "hey, that wasn't such a big deal!" and then try it again.


Okay, I'll figure out something to say then. I won't make it as good as tbyrfan did, lol, but I'll try something. I'll creep around the store looking for a guy to say something to.

And I say **** it, I have 3 hours to spare until I have to go to a film thing tonight, so I'll get ready and just go to Whole Foods now, while I have the motivation. I'll try to come back not totally defeated. If not, I have the film thing I can try to make it up with (though, someone from my class was at the same movie I was at last night and sat next to me, and I practically **** my pants and gave him a look like he'd just killed my entire family, and that was someone I kinda sorta very vaguely know)

Let's do this ****.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

rymo said:


> "Friday night and you're still stuck in here? Tell me you're doing something fun tonight!"


Niioce. I like that


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Barette said:


> Okay, I'll figure out something to say then. I won't make it as good as tbyrfan did, lol, but I'll try something. I'll creep around the store looking for a guy to say something to.
> 
> And I say **** it, I have 3 hours to spare until I have to go to a film thing tonight, so I'll get ready and just go to Whole Foods now, while I have the motivation. I'll try to come back not totally defeated. If not, I have the film thing I can try to make it up with (though, someone from my class was at the same movie I was at last night and sat next to me, and I practically **** my pants at that anxiety, and that was someone I kinda sorta very vaguely know)
> 
> Let's do this ****.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Barette said:


> Okay, I'll figure out something to say then. I won't make it as good as tbyrfan did, lol, but I'll try something. I'll creep around the store looking for a guy to say something to.
> 
> And I say **** it, I have 3 hours to spare until I have to go to a film thing tonight, so I'll get ready and just go to Whole Foods now, while I have the motivation. I'll try to come back not totally defeated. If not, I have the film thing I can try to make it up with (though, someone from my class was at the same movie I was at last night and sat next to me, and I practically **** my pants and gave him a look like he'd just killed my entire family, and that was someone I kinda sorta very vaguely know)
> 
> Let's do this ****.


You have 7 days to complete the challenge. You got this


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## Logitech (Jul 30, 2011)

So, I was in art class, alright. I pretty much have no friends in that class, but this one girl has been catching my eye again and again. Out of my peripheral vision, I can see her looking at me occasionally. So, today I went up to her and said hello. We properly introduced ourselves, but that was about it. I didn't feel awkward about it at all at the time, but when I got back to my seat, I did notice I was quite sweaty. Also, like I stated earlier, she's a grade higher than I am, so this is something I've never done before. I was going to do it before, but this challenge only gave me a deadline, so I took a big breath and overcame my fears. The only problem is that now I'll have to get comfortable with doing that again and again, and I'm not the best conversation initiator.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Logitech said:


> So, I was in art class, alright. I pretty much have no friends in that class, but this one girl has been catching my eye again and again. Out of my peripheral vision, I can see her looking at me occasionally. So, today I went up to her and said hello. We properly introduced ourselves, but that was about it. I didn't feel awkward about it at all at the time, but when I got back to my seat, I did notice I was quite sweaty. Also, like I stated earlier, she's a grade higher than I am, so this is something I've never done before. I was going to do it before, but this challenge only gave me a deadline, so I took a big breath and overcame my fears. The only problem is that now I'll have to get comfortable with doing that again and again, and I'm not the best conversation initiator.


Your age and the fact that you are taking charge already is pretty amazing. Trust me, if you continue to push yourself you will look back on your anxieties and thank your lucky stars you started so young! Now go do some more! Great job!


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

Alright, well, it was a bust. There were no guys alone who I thought were attractive. The only attractive guys were with a girlfriend. I saw one guy alone, and started walking across the area towards him, but right as I did he started walking and went to the cashier. So I walked around the place again but I didn't see anyone, so I left. I can try for the film thing tonight. IDK, right now I'm feeling like I have some balls so I'll have some vodka beforehand and go for it.

ETA: I have 2 shots of vodka in me. I'm feeling confident. Let's do this, let's interact with another human being.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Barette said:


> Alright, well, it was a bust. There were no guys alone who I thought were attractive. The only attractive guys were with a girlfriend. I saw one guy alone, and started walking across the area towards him, but right as I did he started walking and went to the cashier. So I walked around the place again but I didn't see anyone, so I left. I can try for the film thing tonight. IDK, right now I'm feeling like I have some balls so I'll have some vodka beforehand and go for it.
> 
> ETA: I have 2 shots of vodka in me. I'm feeling confident. Let's do this, let's interact with another human being.


 Good luck, gal


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

I DID IT!!!!










So I was super nervous, and had some vodka beforehand which helped tremendously, and so there was a long line outside, and I went to stand in the back of it. And luckily there were these drunk and/or high guys that told me that they weren't really in line and that I could go ahead of them (just immediately having to talk to a person helped me realize I wasn't that nervous). And so I stood kinda next to this guy who was there alone. And so I did the wimpy way of starting a convo and asked him if it was the line to go in (cause I genuinely had no idea what the hell I was supposed to do, to wait in line or go inside), and he said it was the line to show your ticket or w/e, and so I asked him then if it was his first Cucalorus movie he was seeing (it's a film festival thing in Wilmington) and he said he'd seen like 5 cause his brother's into film, and I asked if his bro was in UNCW film and he said no, and I aksed if he himself was at UNCW and he told me he went to school in Cali, so then we just talked about university, and then how expensive school can be (he had to drop out of his school in Cali cause they were raising his tuition to 60k) and how much cheaper school is here in the south, and so then we talked about how cold it is, and just small talk like that. He was really friendly, so that helped a lot. Then we went inside, and sat in different places. I could've tried to say something on the way out, but I didn't. I was happy enough to have initiated a convo with someone, lol.

I'm just so glad I gave my word on this thread by saying I was gonna talk to someone tonight, cause I felt accountable cause I didn't want to be like "Welp, didn't do it" and look stupid. I'm feelin' pretty effing good right now.


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## Fruitcake (Jan 19, 2012)

:clap


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

I've still got anxiety, like, "Oh I should've said something on the way out it was rude what if he was actually next to me and I ignored him then I'm rude..." but I'm trying to shoo away those thoughts. I'm just trying to focus on the positives rather than the negatives.

Edit: OH! _And_ the movie was awesome. _And_ I started crying cause I thought my car got towed but it turned out I parked a block over. _And_ I was going 70 in a 55 zone and a police car put its lights on behind me and I started to pull over but he pulled over the guy in front of me (which I'd have gotten into deep shizz if there was vodka on my breath or something). So a pretty goddamn good night.


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## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

Nice job Barette. You're starting to grow some major cojones. It brings a tear to my eye.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

Haha thanks! I'm very shocked I was able to just do it. I just didn't think before I said anything, and that made it so much easier. I got an urge to talk and just followed it.


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## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

Barette said:


> Haha thanks! I'm very shocked I was able to just do it. I just didn't think before I said anything, and that made it so much easier. I got an urge to talk and just followed it.


I always find it easier to just start talking before thinking about what I'm going to say. :high5


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

Nothing so far on day one, 

sigh


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Barette said:


> Haha thanks! I'm very shocked I was able to just do it. I just didn't think before I said anything, and that made it so much easier. I got an urge to talk and just followed it.


YEAAA BUDDY! Awesome job. Guys, girls are kicking our *** right now in this challenge - let's get it together!

I figure the deadline for this challenge can be by the end of next Friday night. And of course, anyone can still sign up!!!!!!!


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## nautilus (Aug 21, 2012)

Alright, that's enough excuses from the little voice in my head; sign me up! I'm going to go wander somewhere _now_. I don't know where yet, but I should get out of the house before I over think it. If nothing else it'll get me used to being out and about instead of staying in most the weekend.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

nautilus said:


> Alright, that's enough excuses from the little voice in my head; sign me up! I'm going to go wander somewhere _now_. I don't know where yet, but I should get out of the house before I over think it. If nothing else it'll get me used to being out and about instead of staying in most the weekend.


Good luck


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

*cough*bump*cough*


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

rymo said:


> *cough*bump*cough*


I am trying dude but i feel worse then ever today. Feeling the pressure

I could easily talk to someone in a class i am taking but that isnt my goal right. It has to be a complete stranger that i find attractive.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Zeeshan said:


> I am trying dude but i feel worse then ever today. Feeling the pressure
> 
> I could easily talk to someone in a class i am taking but that isnt my goal right. It has to be a complete stranger that i find attractive.


Hey man, relax. There's plenty of time, no pressure. Just do your best.


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

Two possible things that i would have counted if i was weaker but i wont count because my intention is not complete here. 

I told this beautiful asian woman in the elevator, that her pie smelled really nice. She was carrying an apple pie. but i dont think that should count. She told me how she was opening a salon I dont know, but i dont think that should count.

Then at a coffee shop, a chic i was making eye contact with asked me for something, but again that doesn't count. Because its not me doing anything, besides she looked like a high school girl.

So.........still on the hunt to meet the challange


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Zeeshan said:


> Two possible things that i would have counted if i was weaker but i wont count because my intention is not complete here.
> 
> I told this beautiful asian woman in the elevator, that *her pie smelled really nice*. She was carrying an apple pie. but i dont think that should count. She told me how she was opening a salon I dont know, but i dont think that should count.
> 
> ...


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Zeeshan said:


> Two possible things that i would have counted if i was weaker but i wont count because my intention is not complete here.
> 
> I told this beautiful asian woman in the elevator, that her pie smelled really nice. She was carrying an apple pie. but i dont think that should count. She told me how she was opening a salon I dont know, but i dont think that should count.
> 
> ...


You are doing good. Give yourself credit for the girl in the elevator. Maybe next time listen to how a girl responds and take that information she gives you and expand on that. For instance, she said she was opening a salon. You could of asked, how long has she been in the business? Next time someone gives you information just expand on it. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Questions are great!


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## squall78 (Feb 17, 2012)

I had a busy week.... still thought of this thread while traveling.

1. At the airport I asked an attractive girl if the plane was boarding. I was late to a connecting flight so I was worried, and decided to make it the chance to say something to a girl. I always neglect to check wedding rings, and she had one so I made that the only question.

2. I was looking for a car I wanted to buy and ended up in an area I don't know too much about and asked a girl sitting at the bus stop where she got her coffee from. She was very helpful and suggested a couple of places.

This whole approaching with intent is something I've never gotten comfortable with. Even just asking a simple question seems to feel weird and out of place. Also chaining questions one after another on the spot is harder then I thought. I felt trapped in asking what the next question is after the initial open.

One thing I realized too was that during the "hunt" I fell in love with 10-20 girls. This made me realize that being stuck to one particular girl in the grand scheme of things does not make any sense if you are single. As single guys trying to find a girl we neglect to think "hey there are at least 20 girls here that are similar to the one that just rejected me.". The law of abundance makes your mind work better then scarcity.


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## nautilus (Aug 21, 2012)

Nothing that quite meets the challenge for me yet, either, but I think I'm heading in the right direction. Walked around for about an hour and half yesterday; made eye contact and smiled at four or five fairly cute guys in passing, one of whom smiled back slightly (normally I might only attempt something like that maybe once, on a good day). I think since I was on the lookout for people to interact with, I was a bit more social overall than I usually would be.

Today I went to the store with my dad to get groceries (he's teaching me how to drive). I made up my mind to try saying something to the check out clerk; he was close to my age and not bad to look at. He was also holding a conversation with the older lady before me, so that made it less intimidating. When he asked the standard "how are you today?", I said something along the lines of "Pretty good... it's very crowded today". He agreed and said it's often like this on Sundays. I said I thought it will probably be even worse just before Thanksgiving. He talked a bit more after that, but most his comments were directed at my dad :roll I didn't expect to get very far in conversation when my dad was with me anyway, but it was good practice. I usually have a hard time interacting with cashiers even for the bare minimum of making a transaction.



Zeeshan said:


> I told this beautiful asian woman in the elevator, that her pie smelled really nice. She was carrying an apple pie. but i dont think that should count. She told me how she was opening a salon I dont know, but i dont think that should count.


Sounds like you at least came close with that one! It's a good sign that she offered up something personal.



squall78 said:


> This whole approaching with intent is something I've never gotten comfortable with. Even just asking a simple question seems to feel weird and out of place. Also chaining questions one after another on the spot is harder then I thought. I felt trapped in asking what the next question is after the initial open.


When it comes to small talk with strangers, I can usually initiate one or two exchanges. Beyond that, it only tends to turn into a conversation if _they_ happen to be of the personality type to take interactions further. I'm not entirely sure how they do it, but I think they've developed the skill for asking engaging, open ended questions. It doesn't seem to matter how dry or practical the opening line is, but that next step of making things more personal does feel a lot harder.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Congrats everyone so far who's been really thinking about this and trying their best to make it happen. I like that everyone is constantly on the look-out for opportunities. Just remember one thing, though - the best way to do it is to just go for it! Slingshot yourself into a conversation with someone without thinking, because the more you think about it the more you will psych yourself out. I just had one of those types of moments recently, and it made me a little concerned about my prospects in this challenge. Just a little ;p


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Although this thread is made to challenge yourself with people you find attractive, the exercises, the frustrations and the mental focus comes together and helps you realize what you are capable of to a better degree which builds confidence in other areas. This is a challenging thing for some of us but the challenge is like most challenges in life and if you keep going, and if you want it bad enough, you are likely to succeed which means you can apply this concept of perseverance to anything in life. Keep it up!


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

squall78 said:


> I had a busy week.... still thought of this thread while traveling.
> 
> 1. At the airport I asked an attractive girl if the plane was boarding. I was late to a connecting flight so I was worried, and decided to make it the chance to say something to a girl. I always neglect to check wedding rings, and she had one so I made that the only question.
> 
> ...


Sounds like a success to me with the conversation you started with the girl at the bus stop! Congrats!

Also, yes, there is a HUGE difference once you look at the world through an abundance mind frame rather than a scarcity one.

These thoughts are like seeds in your mind and they will continue to grow if you feed it. You are supposed to go through an uncomfortable and doubting period until you build up enough reference experiences to know and therefore think differently. This is necessary and normal.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

nautilus, good job with talking back with the cashier!


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## nautilus (Aug 21, 2012)

bwidger85 said:


> nautilus, good job with talking back with the cashier!


Thank you!


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## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

This is way harder than I thought! Every stranger I walk up to to chat briefly is a woman. Or a man who's much older and I'm not actually attracted to them. Where are all the young folks? The one attractive guy I've talked to since the challenge was introduced was today, and he was a client and my JOB is to talk to them and make them feel at ease (photographer). So...I don't want to count that one. : /


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## Ivan AG (Sep 29, 2010)

Went up to 5 women on Saturday but no convo or numbers. 

Just asked them random **** about coffeeshops or fast food places.

I've gotta work on my looks. Dressing better, getting ripped, etc.

Maybe even a nose job. I look like Quasimodo in my pictures.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Ivan AG said:


> Went up to 5 women on Saturday but no convo or numbers.
> 
> Just asked them random **** about coffeeshops or fast food places.
> 
> ...


Didn't know you were doing this challenge! Congrats on just going up to these girls. Remember, all it takes to actually have a conversation is just ONE transition. Going from "hey can you tell me where Starbucks is?" to "I like your jacket" or "Do you go to school here?" or any of a million things is an instant conversation starter. You could be done with this challenge in a minute. Good luck!

As for your looks, working out always helps (not only appearance but confidence-wise as well), but I stand by my opinion that you're a good-looking guy. I can't remember what clothes you were wearing but nothing wrong with a guy with good style, so that's something we can always be thinking about. But man - this challenge is not to get someone in bed with you. It's just to have a little conversation. You're very hung up on the outcome of the interaction, but we're taking it one step at a time here. Don't worry about the aftermath or whether she thinks you're some stud, just go do your thing.


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## Primordial Loop (Apr 5, 2011)

If I was to just cold approach a girl and ask: "What was the first thing you noticed about me?" How do you think that would go over?

This was inspired by the OKcupid question, in case you were wondering.

Oh and, sign me up I suppose.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

^Honestly? I don't think that would go over well.


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## Primordial Loop (Apr 5, 2011)

I figured as much, but I have a penchant for creating awkward atmospheres so I might try it once just for a good laugh/release of tension.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Primordial Loop said:


> If I was to just cold approach a girl and ask: "What was the first thing you noticed about me?" How do you think that would go over?
> 
> This was inspired by the OKcupid question, in case you were wondering.
> 
> Oh and, sign me up I suppose.


Considering she probably wouldn't have noticed you until you actually said something to her, it seems kind of out of strange. If you say it with confidence it probably wouldn't matter anyway, but I would stick to mentioning something about her instead - for example "hey I noticed you're wearing a [sports team] shirt and I had to talk to you."


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## Primordial Loop (Apr 5, 2011)

rymo said:


> *Considering she probably wouldn't have noticed you until you actually said something to her, it seems kind of out of strange.* If you say it with confidence it probably wouldn't matter anyway, but I would stick to mentioning something about her instead - for example "hey I noticed you're wearing a [sports team] shirt and I had to talk to you."


Good point, I honestly never considered that. I was just banking on the possibility of her taking notice of me beforehand; and It'd be said in a tongue-in-cheek manner. The reason I'm trying to stay away from generic openers is because I feel dull and uninteresting/ed and the conversation usually flatlines before any sort of momentum.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Primordial Loop said:


> Good point, I honestly never considered that. I was just banking on the possibility of her taking notice of me beforehand; and It'd be said in a tongue-in-cheek manner. The reason I'm trying to stay away from generic openers is because I feel dull and uninteresting/ed and the conversation usually flatlines before any sort of momentum.


At the same time over-complicating things is completely unnecessary. In the end it really doesn't matter what you open up with, and over-thinking it will just leave you intimidated. If you're interested in the girl, just ask her questions and smile and try your best to be yourself.


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## Ivan AG (Sep 29, 2010)

rymo said:


> Didn't know you were doing this challenge! Congrats on just going up to these girls. Remember, all it takes to actually have a conversation is just ONE transition. Going from "hey can you tell me where Starbucks is?" to "I like your jacket" or "Do you go to school here?" or any of a million things is an instant conversation starter. You could be done with this challenge in a minute. Good luck!
> 
> As for your looks, working out always helps (not only appearance but confidence-wise as well), but I stand by my opinion that you're a good-looking guy. I can't remember what clothes you were wearing but nothing wrong with a guy with good style, so that's something we can always be thinking about. But man - this challenge is not to get someone in bed with you. It's just to have a little conversation. You're very hung up on the outcome of the interaction, but we're taking it one step at a time here. Don't worry about the aftermath or whether she thinks you're some stud, just go do your thing.


Yeah man, I'm just tired of online dating. I can't escalate online because I feel too weird asking a chick for her Facebook or number. Maybe in the future when I meet a girl in real life I may come back.

Right now I'm part of an SAD group and we're just doing these little challenges like approach 10 women and get rejected on purpose, etc. etc.

Does it count if it's with other people?


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Ivan AG said:


> Yeah man, I'm just tired of online dating. I can't escalate online because I feel too weird asking a chick for her Facebook or number. Maybe in the future when I meet a girl in real life I may come back.
> 
> Right now I'm part of an SAD group and we're just doing these little challenges like approach 10 women and get rejected on purpose, etc. etc.
> 
> Does it count if it's with other people?


As long as you initiate the conversation, it doesn't matter if you have other people there motivating you to go for it.


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

I dont like my chances to get through here


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## Primordial Loop (Apr 5, 2011)

rymo said:


> At the same time over-complicating things is completely unnecessary. In the end it really doesn't matter what you open up with, and over-thinking it will just leave you intimidated. If you're interested in the girl, just ask her questions and smile and try your best to be yourself.


Ah, well said as usual--I'll just go with the flow and try not to over complicate things. That said, you won't be hearing from me again until I've completed the challenge so, 'til then...







and just like that, primordial loop was never heard from again​


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Primordial Loop said:


> Ah, well said as usual--I'll just go with the flow and try not to over complicate things. That said, you won't be hearing from me again until I've completed the challenge so, 'til then...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


haha, good luck soldier


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Talked to a couple girls around campus today. Talked about their majors mostly and where they are from.

Rymo promised me muscle mass if I completed the challenge. Hopefully I'll start packing on more muscle soon ;P


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Zeeshan said:


> I dont like my chances to get through here


Hey man, it's OK. When I first wanted to learn how to approach in real life it took me a while. Sometimes it took me months because I couldn't overcome a fear or because I made excuses that extended the weeks to months, etc. Just keep thinking about it and putting pressure on yourself and you'll do it. Doesn't matter if the outcome is good or bad. Just prove to yourself you can do it. Try not to make excuses. But it's pretty normal not to be able to do it starting off. Eventually you'll do it


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

squall78 said:


> I had a busy week.... still thought of this thread while traveling.
> 
> 1. At the airport I asked an attractive girl if the plane was boarding. I was late to a connecting flight so I was worried, and decided to make it the chance to say something to a girl. I always neglect to check wedding rings, and she had one so I made that the only question.
> 
> ...


I'm not sure if you are saying you completed the challenge or not...it seems good but I wasn't sure.


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## Sourdog (Sep 13, 2011)

I may be late, but i'll sign up and take this challenge!!!


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## Sourdog (Sep 13, 2011)

How many days are left?


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Sourdog said:


> How many days are left?


Till the end of Friday night.


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## Sourdog (Sep 13, 2011)

rymo said:


> Till the end of Friday night.


Are you trying out this challenge aswell Rymo?


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## Ivan AG (Sep 29, 2010)

Sourdog said:


> Are you trying out this challenge aswell Rymo?


rymo has already completed this challenge along with then next 20 challenges that will come later.

I think he's just supervising the progress and motivating us.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Sourdog said:


> Are you trying out this challenge aswell Rymo?





Ivan AG said:


> rymo has already completed this challenge along with then next 20 challenges that will come later.
> 
> I think he's just supervising the progress and motivating us.


I have not completed this challenge, no.


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

Allrigth well i am declaring myself through

There is this girl in a night school class i am taking that has intimidated me like crazy. She is really gorgeous. Last week she was in early but i couldn't work up the nerve to talk to her. 

Not Today, today i went straight through and introduced myself, we were really close and had quite a few gazes into each others eyes. Definitely gonna ask this one out. 

Not a perfect stranger but i am counting it on the fact that i had not talked to her prior due to her being an 8.5 to 9, amazing amazing girl to look at


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## Sourdog (Sep 13, 2011)

rymo said:


> Till the end of Friday night.





Zeeshan said:


> Allrigth well i am declaring myself through
> 
> There is this girl in a night school class i am taking that has intimidated me like crazy. She is really gorgeous. Last week she was in early but i couldn't work up the nerve to talk to her.
> 
> ...


 Nice job bro, you've got some balls!:clap


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Zeeshan said:


> Not Today, today i went straight through and introduced myself, we were really close and had quite a few gazes into each others eyes. Definitely gonna ask this one out.


Sooo, I take it you talked to her already? How did that go?


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> Sooo, I take it you talked to her already? How did that go?


pretty good actually talked for about 15 minutes, made up some stupid story about how i went into office with my sweater on backwards......A part of me thinks she would be interested just from her body language, but she seems out of my league so i dont know if she is even single

I actually wasnt that nervous, NOFAP is very strange, i swear though i still have approach anxiety, once i get into anything, there is virtually no anxiety, i totally lose myself in the moment


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Zeeshan said:


> I actually wasnt that nervous, NOFAP is very strange, i swear though i still have approach anxiety, once i get into anything, there is virtually no anxiety, i totally lose myself in the moment


Every time you face your fears you learn something about yourself and the potential to grow and become confident increases! You're doing good. Give yourself credit for what you've done and keep pushing. The hardest is in the beginning


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## Sourdog (Sep 13, 2011)

Damn, i didn't really see anyone today, but i'll keep trying!


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## nautilus (Aug 21, 2012)

Last two or three days have been disappointing. Yesterday one of my classes was canceled, so I decided to kill some time in the cafeteria, specifically because I thought it'd be a good place to meet random people. I was hoping to talk to someone while standing in line for food, but it was pretty quiet. Instead, I found myself sitting there, eating, trying to figure out how on earth I could start a conversation with one of 3 or 4 possibilities I saw. Closest I came was to make eye contact and exchange smiles with this one guy who came and sat down nearby. He had his laptop open and headphones on shortly after, though.

What I discovered? I may not be ready for a 100% cold approach yet. I know I was seriously considering it at one point because I started getting the shakes... Of course, I've been able to overcome that level of fear a few times in the past, but only with a solid game plan. For now I may have to settle for something a bit more opportunistic. But who knows, maybe I'll get a sudden burst of confidence before Friday evening.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Come on everybody! Saturday morning the challenge ends! One last push!


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Been a really bad week, haven't posted much, and I'm taking myself out of the challenge.

Sorry guys.


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## Animekid (Sep 22, 2012)

I would like to say I have taken the challenge and accomplished it, it was extremely good for me too, haven't been happier in ages!


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## Sourdog (Sep 13, 2011)

Damn, I was walking around town today and didn't see one girl I was attracted too. I'm not picky it's just most of the girls I saw were old.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Sourdog said:


> Damn, I was walking around town today and didn't see one girl I was attracted too. I'm not picky it's just most of the girls I saw were old.


Old to _you.:b

_Anyway, you are 18 years old. Go meet girls at school or college! Probably one of the best places to meet girls because they are everywhere and around your age!


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## Sourdog (Sep 13, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> Old to _you.:b_
> 
> Anyway, you are 18 years old. Go meet girls at school or college! Probably one of the best places to meet girls because they are everywhere and around your age!


Well i'm in a little town and when i say old i mean OLD like 40-60 years old. Yeah i need to find a girl at school thats my best chance.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

^Of course it counts! Good job!


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## StayingMotivated (Sep 5, 2011)

interesting


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Last day boys and girls


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## Sourdog (Sep 13, 2011)

Okay, so I said hi to a cute tall girl in class while I was leaning on my chair and she stroked/tickled my hair, said hi and smiled (kinda weird), but the teacher told her to come over to him and totally c-blocked me lol. He was getting mad at her about something so I couldn't really expand the conversation. Before I knew it the class was over and my friend made me leave before I could say anything further to her. So yeah, I'm not really sure if this counts?


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

She stroked your hair? That's a little creepy of her, lol.


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## cloister2 (Sep 2, 2011)

Working up to that... all I'm doing is smiling and acknowledging other people more.


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## nautilus (Aug 21, 2012)

Success!! I went to the cafeteria this morning for one last ditch attempt to complete The Challenge. And also to get a muffin. I lucked out and got the cute cashier (what is it with me hitting on cashiers?), who I've seen there before but never talked to. He usually looks a little bored. Literally all I said was "Looks like we finally got some rain today", and he immediately turns it into a conversation! I was actually quite impressed with the way he did that... I managed to hold up my end of the conversation too, although he made it ridiculously easy for me. Even so, I think if I wasn't as focused as I was it would have fizzled after an exchange and a half the way it usually does. Well, the guy didn't seem bored anymore when I left, so that made my day 

It's amazing how this challenge seemed incredibly difficult all week (in fact, I was half convinced I might not make it at all), but was practically effortless after "hi".

@tbyrfan Congratulations on_ two_ successful approaches in on week!


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## Polar (Dec 16, 2006)

Well, I were in Sweden earlier this week.

I weren't familiar with the city, and I asked a girl for directions to the post office - she was apparently a local.

She didn't seem creeped out - or anything.... oddly enough, she was quite happy to help - and yes, as for the challenge, i did say "hi"!


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## Sourdog (Sep 13, 2011)

Barette said:


> She stroked your hair? That's a little creepy of her, lol.


That's what I though lol, but im just happy that I interacted with a female.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

I'm over it.


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

nautilus said:


> Success!! I went to the cafeteria this morning for one last ditch attempt to complete The Challenge. And also to get a muffin. I lucked out and got the cute cashier (what is it with me hitting on cashiers?), who I've seen there before but never talked to. He usually looks a little bored. Literally all I said was "Looks like we finally got some rain today", and he immediately turns it into a conversation! I was actually quite impressed with the way he did that... I managed to hold up my end of the conversation too, although he made it ridiculously easy for me. Even so, I think if I wasn't as focused as I was it would have fizzled after an exchange and a half the way it usually does. Well, the guy didn't seem bored anymore when I left, so that made my day
> 
> It's amazing how this challenge seemed incredibly difficult all week (in fact, I was half convinced I might not make it at all), but was practically effortless after "hi".
> 
> @tbyrfan Congratulations on_ two_ successful approaches in on week!


Just out of intrest, how would having a conversation with a cashier work? Do the not want to serve the other customers? Lol


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Yeh I've lost my own challenge. Perhaps if I would have seen a girl this week I would have approached haha.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

rymo said:


> Yeh I've lost my own challenge. Perhaps if I would have seen a girl this week I would have approached haha.


Damn man, that sucks. Was hoping you'd stick around for round 2.

Aren't there any bars on the weekdays where you live? I've got a good little system where I can go places almost everyday where I know for sure girls will be regardless if it is a bar or not.


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## Ivan AG (Sep 29, 2010)

rymo said:


> Yeh I've lost my own challenge. Perhaps if I would have seen a girl this week I would have approached haha.


dafuq

I though you were like the first guy to pass this. Ah well, I didn't even sign up.

Doing more cold approaching tomorrow.


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## nautilus (Aug 21, 2012)

Droidsteel said:


> Just out of intrest, how would having a conversation with a cashier work? Do the not want to serve the other customers? Lol


At the time there wasn't anyone else around, just one guy who went in front of me and another person still ordering their food. It's a small campus, so it's really quiet at certain times of the day (and especially on Fridays). But yeah, if there's people in line behind you, you only have the amount of time it takes for them to ring everything up and for you to pay them. If you're at a store getting a bunch of groceries that's enough time for a short conversation, in some cases.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

bwidger85 said:


> Damn man, that sucks. Was hoping you'd stick around for round 2.
> 
> Aren't there any bars on the weekdays where you live? I've got a good little system where I can go places almost everyday where I know for sure girls will be regardless if it is a bar or not.


Yeh but I had a rough week, between car breaking down and some other stuff my focus was not on this challenge.


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## nautilus (Aug 21, 2012)

rymo said:


> Yeh but I had a rough week, between car breaking down and some other stuff my focus was not on this challenge.


Redo? Maybe people could re-attempt this challenge while those of us who completed it move on to #2? Just a thought, but I kinda like the idea of a continuous challenge; it lets new people join in/continue while still having a game-like quality in that the number of people who complete each challenge on the first try will be dwindling.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

nautilus said:


> Redo? Maybe people could re-attempt this challenge while those of us who completed it move on to #2? Just a thought, but I kinda like the idea of a continuous challenge; it lets new people join in/continue while still having a game-like quality in that the number of people who complete each challenge on the first try will be dwindling.


I would of course welcome a week extension, but the more flexible the rules of the challenge get the less likely people will actually be pushing past their comfort zone. Though I'm not 100% clear on what you're proposing, so let me know and we'll go from there. Also other people feel free to chime in.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Personally, I don't think an extension is fair for those of us who put in the effort to complete the challenge. All it does is water down our efforts. Some of us put enormous pressure on ourselves to do this; others didn't. Besides, there are always other series. It isn't like this has to be the last one.

But at this point I don't really care because I'll be approaching regardless if there is a weekly challenge or not.


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## nautilus (Aug 21, 2012)

rymo said:


> I would of course welcome a week extension, but the more flexible the rules of the challenge get the less likely people will actually be pushing past their comfort zone. Though I'm not 100% clear on what you're proposing, so let me know and we'll go from there. Also other people feel free to chime in.


I guess my idea was to keep the rule about having to complete challenge #1 before moving on to #2, but to let people keep trying until they pass. In other words; a new challenge gets added each week while the old threads stay open in the meantime.

I'm assuming the main motivations from these threads are personal growth, accountability, and recognition? Personal growth should be there regardless, of course. The accountability is still there from the weekly deadlines and having people state their intentions. Although it may be reduced slightly by allowing re-attempts, if there's no way to reattempt the challenge then all but 8 people are going, "well, that didn't work... ok, I'm done!" As for recognition, those who completed the first challenge are starting the second one a week earlier than everyone else, so there's still that sense of friendly competition.

But it doesn't matter to me, personally, either way since as I think bwidger was pointing out the challenges can be started again once our numbers have dwindled down to nothing. The only reason I'm suggesting this is because I've noticed from my own patterns of thought that if I put a huge amount of pressure on myself to succeed at something, I'll be consistent and extremely enthusiastic for a while, then as soon as I fail I loose all motivation. Whereas if I think of being able to try again after failing as the more important, long-term success, it makes it easier to keep re-starting and ultimately do more. As far as the thread goes, it might not matter so much... but just a thought to provoke some discussion.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

I'm scared for #2 now.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Barette said:


> I'm scared for #2 now.


There is one challenge I don't want him to make...BUT IM NOT SAYING IT! :b


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

bwidger85 said:


> There is one challenge I don't want him to make...BUT IM NOT SAYING IT! :b


Oh you can't tease us like that, that's just unfair. Now I'm really scared.


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

i am waiting for no.2 

In the words of the great one, Just Bring It


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## Sourdog (Sep 13, 2011)

Yeah, I'm pumped for challenge #2!


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## stoolie (Feb 12, 2011)

My mission status: fail
I saw a few cute girls this week, but none in a situation where I could have approached them. Mainly because they showed up in packs. :/


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

stoolie said:


> My mission status: fail
> I saw a few cute girls this week, but none in a situation where I could have approached them. Mainly because they showed up in packs. :/


gotta love when they travel in packs


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## stoolie (Feb 12, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> gotta love when they travel in packs


And I hate it 
It multiplies my anxiety.


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## splitimage (Jul 18, 2012)

Failed the first challenge 

Anxiety won big time this week, and really didn't get out much except for work (which is mostly female.)


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

splitimage said:


> Failed the first challenge
> 
> Anxiety won big time this week, and really didn't get out much except for work (which is mostly female.)


:|


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## squall78 (Feb 17, 2012)

Hey I did this challenge, so bold my name in the first post. Saying hi wasn't so bad, I'm naturally a somewhat talkative person once I know the person I'm talking to.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

squall78 said:


> Hey I did this challenge, so bold my name in the first post. Saying hi wasn't so bad, I'm naturally a somewhat talkative person once I know the person I'm talking to.


Yes sir.


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## WD3 (Oct 11, 2012)

I failed the mission as well. uhhh my depression really kicked in hard last weekend I have not been myself all week. I will not fail the next one!


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

rymo said:


> Yes sir.


when will you post challange 2 sir


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## squall78 (Feb 17, 2012)

rymo said:


> Yes sir.


Thanks dude I'm looking forward to the next challenge! I like being held accountable to stuff like this because normally I'd get complacent.


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## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

Wellll there was a severe shortage of attractive dudes who weren't with a girl, haha. I did have a ~15 minute conversation with a guy at a fitness store though. Married but cute, thus still sort of counts? Maybe? We were talking about squat racks and he had me sit on a few stability balls (don't even). And I made him laugh a few times which I'm patting myself on the back for because half the time I'm out in the world I have no idea what I'm saying (oh wait, maybe that's why he was laughing...)

In all honesty the challenge in this wasn't the conversation. It was the fact that I left my house alone and actually went into a store by myself. Major agoraphobia going on here. I felt pretty dizzy most of the time but not so bad that I was going to faint. It helped that it was only ~1 mile away. I knew I could escape easily if I needed to. 

Thanks to the cheat who was cheering me on from afar.


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## stoolie (Feb 12, 2011)

seafolly said:


> [...] and he had me sit on a few stability balls *(don't even)*.


That made me laugh 
Thanks for that!


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## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

Waayyyy ahead of you all! : P



stoolie said:


> That made me laugh
> Thanks for that!


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

seafolly said:


> Wellll there was a severe shortage of attractive dudes who weren't with a girl, haha. I did have a ~15 minute conversation with a guy at a fitness store though. Married but cute, thus still sort of counts? Maybe? We were talking about squat racks and he had me sit on a few stability balls (don't even). And I made him laugh a few times which I'm patting myself on the back for because half the time I'm out in the world I have no idea what I'm saying (oh wait, maybe that's why he was laughing...)
> 
> In all honesty the challenge in this wasn't the conversation. It was the fact that I left my house alone and actually went into a store by myself. Major agoraphobia going on here. I felt pretty dizzy most of the time but not so bad that I was going to faint. It helped that it was only ~1 mile away. I knew I could escape easily if I needed to.
> 
> *Thanks to the cheat who was cheering me on from afar.*


There should be a notification on SAS when someone name-drops you...otherwise, I only see things like this when I'm stalking you.


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## cheezitlover (May 30, 2012)

I just found this thread can I still sign up for this?


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

cheezitlover said:


> I just found this thread can I still sign up for this?


Dito question (as I got no answer in the other one :sus)


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

Yes you can still sign up for this, and start whenever.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

The idea was to have new sign ups in the most current challenge thread, even if you are on a previous one. So right now, to sign up for #1, you would post that in thread #2, which keeps track of the status of people in both challenges. Maybe this isn't the best idea though, it might get a little too hard to keep track of things. Open to suggestions.

And thank you for taking care of questions, Secretary Barette.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

Haha they seemed to want to have an answer now. I decided to take on your duties, I felt pressed!


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

Barette said:


> Haha they seemed to want to have an answer now. I decided to take on your duties, I felt pressed!


thanks at least you dont ignore us he 

Well I just take up this challenge which should be manageable i hope


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

I take my secretary duties very seriously. Just call me Condoleezza Rice.

It's not too hard, I of all people managed to do it so I think you can!


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

Barette said:


> I take my secretary duties very seriously. Just call me Condoleezza Rice.
> 
> It's not too hard, I of all people managed to do it so I think you can!


What? That person is horrible what I saw/heard from her. I am fpr sure won´t call you this name, it would be like an insult would´t it ?

Yeah I did it before so should be ok, depends on my daily mood however. I worked 3 steps in a "program" to date / approach coaching but quit a year ago on the smalltalk stage. Cause I am bad at it it seems. And I think smalltalk is useless and a waste of time. However for the reasion to find a women, it seems it is neccesary so I need to do smalltalk. Also on the job smalltalk seems important :no 

I worked these steps: Looking people in the eyes and greeting strangers everywhere. I greeted about 50-60 people. Also asking for the time or directions work. However the smalltalk stage seems frightening as soon you are required to approach women you would date (which are quite a lot in my case). Also I never managed to ask for number etc. (whcih would be stage 5 in the mentioned program)

Only if I knew the person for longer time as in the past I still had some people I knew.


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

Well I completed this "challenge" sort of, but both interactions were more or less unsuccesful. For this reason I´ll try a 3rd or 4th time and report if it goes better. I hope then to advance to step 2.


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## Shinichi (Dec 4, 2012)

stoolie said:


> My mission status: fail
> I saw a few cute girls this week, but none in a situation where I could have approached them. Mainly because they showed up in packs. :/


Die Katze auf Deinem Avatar sieht genauso aus wie meine :yes


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

Barette said:


> I take my secretary duties very seriously.


Are yous till there Barette ? Can you advise on this one ? I completed Challenge1 finally. Do I need to post details or can I get to step 2 now? Danke !:yes


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Nexus777 said:


> Are yous till there Barette ? Can you advise on this one ? I completed Challenge1 finally. Do I need to post details or can I get to step 2 now? Danke !:yes


I haven't created a part 3 yet, so things are up in the air in general for the challenge threads. I will discuss it with Secretary Rice today and come up with a course of action.


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

Ah the boss himself answers what honour.

Detail of solution: Talked to 4 women today (if only short) and 1 guy.

W1 ca. 50: Asked what race her dog is, she told me and I commented a race that is from England ? She said yes and told another fact which I forgot.

W2 ca. 25: I talked to her already before which failed kind of (see my reply above) cause I felt I could go for coffee but did not mentioned it. She lives with someone in a flat so guess she has a BF. Anyway complimented about how fit she seems to be, cause she jogged upwards (a quite steep hill where I have problems with). She smiled and said something like "not really". Later I met her at the car where she was hauling 2 flowers. I helped her with one of the flowers and she told me she wants them to bring to her mother, cause they seem not to do good. I mentioned that for me they look fine. Also asked for her flat, she seems new in the street with her BF(?), so maybe she has not made friends yet and was quite nice and smiling. But maybe she just was so nicecause wanted to get rid of me who knows...

W3 (ca. 17-18 so much too young for me): Was eating something and seemed happy with it. Wished her a "good appetite". She smiled and thanked. I asked what she eats. Answer "Quarktasche" (English word?). Mh, delicious I want one too. She said, if she had another she would give me. I said, I dont believe you are that nice. She said something like "sometimes I am". Then went her way.

W4 (20-25?): Gas station. Was trying to pump air in her cars tires. Seems not to work. I asked "Na klappts?" Means maybe "Hey, does it work?" She laughed (and her 3 friends too which were giggling the whole time and typing messages in their phones) and said "not really". Helped her (air pump was empty). She thanked and smiled, I asked where they come from - turns out she comes from 30km away but the other 3 were from my city. Well I might have tried to chat with them further, but I got nervous and said bye. They also obviously wanted to continue their travel wherever it leads them...

Guy (ca. 40): Was hauling amazon package, asked if he ordered presents from Amazon. Yes, he orders there regulary, asked if everything went ok with orders, explained I had trouble once with them, he said, mostly everything works fine for him. Thanks&bye

Should be it for challenge 1, I advance to 2.


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## Shinichi (Dec 4, 2012)

Wow Nexus. That sounds quite successful, people seemed to be really nice to you.


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

Shinichi said:


> Wow Nexus. That sounds quite successful, people seemed to be really nice to you.


Meinst Du ? Dann dank Dir. Ich hab ein bisserl gelernt die letzen Jahre...however I dont asked for a date or phone number. I am not up to it yet.-:afr Also I noticed single women are quite rare here, they often marry quite young and have children - strange...

Anyway, I want a confirmation that this challenge is fullfilled by me from "the boss" or the secretary.. I am unsure about it. As always


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## Shinichi (Dec 4, 2012)

Yep, sounded good to me.


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