# Fear of rejection from your therapist



## ChangelingGirl (Nov 15, 2012)

Hi,
I think this may be a stupid question for SA sufferers, although I think for me it's a PTSD issue. Does anyone have a huge fear of rejection from your therapist? I have this, and it manifests itself in my constantly checking if she still believes I'm genuine, whether she's going to kick me out of therapy either for being too good or too bad (so it's not just fear of ending therapy before I'm ready), etc. It's gotten a little better over the years, but I still fear she'll someday reject me. The worst is if she thinks I'm a faker (the people who read my intro could see I fear anyone would do this, but especially my therapist). It isn't a fear of ending therapy before I'm ready, because I actually don't speak up adequately when she sets unrealistic goals. Its more a general foar of not being taken seriously for who I am. Can anyone relate? Any coping strategies?


----------



## won (Nov 8, 2012)

I'd hate to feel like I'm not being taken seriously by my counselor/therapist... in fact, I've been feeling that a lot lately. I also feel like she doesn't care about me, and that she talks bad about me behind my back. And I keep thinking that she thinks I'm a faker too, just going to her for attention.
But anyway, I doubt your therapist would abandon you. In fact, I don't think they're allowed to stop counseling you until A) You can't afford therapy anymore, B) You want to terminate the therapy, or C) They go on vacation or they're sick/pregnant or something.
The best thing to always do in my opinion is to tell your therapist. He/she will know what to say.


----------



## Pam (Feb 14, 2009)

Yes, I also have the fear of rejection quite bad. But it spreads to everyone, not just my therapist. The one I see now is not rejecting at all--I can plainly see that, but I always worry that someday will come where he'll get sick of me and dump me. "Why wouldn't he? everyone else does" is what I think. 

Do you feel like that with many other people too? It's natural then for you to feel it in therapy too. But hopefully in therapy, you learn that not everyone is going to reject you. 

Coping strategies: You could try to go out of your way to notice when good things happen with your therapist and write it down as evidence that she's not rejecting you. And the best thing I think is for you to tell her exactly how you feel--that way she can reassure you.


----------



## ChangelingGirl (Nov 15, 2012)

Thaks. I'm glad in a way that others can relate, although I feel sorry you guys have these issues.

Pam, I do have this with everyone, especially people who know a lot about me. Fear they'll one day abandon me especially because they think I'm an attention-seeker.

By the way, I talke d to my therpist and she basically siad well what if not really DID/PTSD/etc. She said she doesn't believe I'd "fake" to bully her, but that I'd need to have these symptoms for a reason. She believes I'm who I say I am and she isn't going ot reject me for it. She alsos aid my fear of rejection may reain for a long tie, but that I may need to just accept that and move on. That was very powerful.


----------

