# How hard is it find a girl without any stds?



## filledwithfear1 (Sep 28, 2009)

Anyway, I was talking to someone about it, and now I'm worried...


----------



## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

With sexual relativism being the new norm I'd wager the statistics are higher for both your average man and woman to have some STD.

There's no going back.


----------



## filledwithfear1 (Sep 28, 2009)

I know, it sucks...


----------



## Phibes (Mar 8, 2009)

That's why you grab them when they're young rofl... before they have a chance to get infected LOL.

Now if you're young and they're young that's fine but I don't approve of old animals trying to molest young boys & girls like in the picture below.


----------



## filledwithfear1 (Sep 28, 2009)

Actually I'm only 21. And I'm waiting till I'm married for sex..


----------



## dan14 (Sep 3, 2009)

Just wear a condom mate


----------



## Iced Soul (Jan 28, 2009)

It seems like it might be hard, but I'm sure there are girls out there without them.
I was actually wondering the same thing, but only with guys.


----------



## TheDaffodil (Jun 20, 2009)

dan14 said:


> Just wear a condom mate


If I were a guy, I'd wear 2 or 3 even if the girl told me she was clean. 1) People lie. 2) There are a good number of people who have STDs and don't even know it (or are too afraid to admit to themselves that anything is wrong).

You just have to find the virgins. *raises hand* I am proof that they do still exist and in enough number to find one you'll want to take that step with. That's what I would do. Sucks for the sexually active because I'd be awesome in bed - *toots own horn* - but we all make our own decisions and live with the consequences, right?


----------



## sublimit (Aug 16, 2009)

PLEASE don't use terms like "clean" to describe people who are STI-free; people with STIs aren't "dirty". Yes, STIs are common, but you shouldn't avoid having sex because you're afraid of getting one. Use protection, get tested, get educated, and enjoy life!


----------



## TheDaffodil (Jun 20, 2009)

sublimit said:


> PLEASE don't use terms like "clean" to describe people who are STI-free; people with STIs aren't "dirty". Yes, STIs are common, but you shouldn't avoid having sex because you're afraid of getting one. Use protection, get tested, get educated, and enjoy life!


Nah, I think I'll keep using the term I prefer, thank you. If you can put something in someone else's body that shouldn't be there in my opinion you are a dirty person. I'm not trying to imply that all of them but those who would lie and/or not take care of it, yes, they are dirty people.


----------



## sublimit (Aug 16, 2009)

TheDaffodil said:


> Nah, I think I'll keep using the term I prefer, thank you. If you can put something in someone else's body that shouldn't be there in my opinion you are a dirty person. I'm not trying to imply that all of them but those who would lie and/or not take care of it, yes, they are dirty people.


Wow, the ignorance and discrimination against those with STIs truly amazes me. You do know that the majority of people with STIs don't know they have them, right? Close to 90%, in fact (depending on the STI). Not everything can be tested for either.

Having an infection doesn't make you dirty.


----------



## TheDaffodil (Jun 20, 2009)

sublimit said:


> Wow, the ignorance and discrimination against those with STIs truly amazes me. You do know that the majority of people with STIs don't know they have them, right? Close to 90%, in fact (depending on the STI). Not everything can be tested for either.
> 
> Having an infection doesn't make you dirty.


You're getting too defensive about it and not letting me have my own opinion. IF YOU LIE - that means you know or suspect it and you're telling someone otherwise. You are a dirty person if you do that to another human being, if you disregard another person's health and take advantage of their trust in you.
IF YOU DON'T TAKE CARE OF IT - There are girls who know or suspect it and won't go get it taken care of and will still sleep with other people. Again, *you are a dirty person if you do that to another human being, if you disregard another person's health and take advantage of their trust in you*.

If you don't know and you're completely clueless then you're not dirty. Simply having one doesn't make you dirty. I didn't say it did. I'm sorry you took it that way. I would say that if you're having sex though, you need to be completely responsible and when you fail to do so it is a negative thing.


----------



## leomouse (Dec 1, 2008)

most people DO NOT have std's and if you're so worried get them tested before having sex.


----------



## sublimit (Aug 16, 2009)

TheDaffodil said:


> You're getting too defensive about it and not letting me have my own opinion. IF YOU LIE - that means you know or suspect it and you're telling someone otherwise. You are a dirty person if you do that to another human being, if you disregard another person's health and take advantage of their trust in you.
> IF YOU DON'T TAKE CARE OF IT - There are girls who know or suspect it and won't go get it taken care of and will still sleep with other people. Again, *you are a dirty person if you do that to another human being, if you disregard another person's health and take advantage of their trust in you*.
> 
> If you don't know and you're completely clueless then you're not dirty. Simply having one doesn't make you dirty. I didn't say it did. I'm sorry you took it that way. I would say that if you're having sex though, you need to be completely responsible and when you fail to do so it is a negative thing.


That's great, but that's not the way you used the word "clean" originally. You said:



TheDaffodil said:


> If I were a guy, I'd wear 2 or 3 even if the girl told me she was clean.


In that sentence you weren't talking about liars or people who fail to get regularly checked; you were referring to the girl's STI status. You can't really blame me for reading it that way, can you?

I really hope you were joking about wearing two or three condoms too; wearing condoms incorrectly like that is just asking for them to break.


----------



## mind_games (Nov 30, 2008)

> ...
> *Ross:* Yeah, I need uh&#8230; I'm just-I don't know-I don't understand, umm, how this happened? We-we used a condom.
> *Rachel:* I know. I know, but y'know condoms only work like 97% of the time.
> *Ross:* What? What? What?!! Well they should put that on the box!!!
> ...


The message you have entered is too short. Please lengthen your message to at least 1 characters.


----------



## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

As hard as it is to find a guy without STDs. :roll


----------



## TheDaffodil (Jun 20, 2009)

sublimit said:


> That's great, but that's not the way you used the word "clean" originally. You said:
> 
> In that sentence you weren't talking about liars or people who fail to get regularly checked; you were referring to the girl's STI status. You can't really blame me for reading it that way, can you?
> 
> I really hope you were joking about wearing two or three condoms too; wearing condoms incorrectly like that is just asking for them to break.


I was joking.
And I used the term correctly. I just didn't define "clean" and "dirty" when I said it. When I say that I really do mean a girl who doesn't handle her sexual responsibilities and still has sex. And you're right, I can't blame you for reading it the way you did.


----------



## sublimit (Aug 16, 2009)

TheDaffodil said:


> I was joking.
> And I used the term correctly. I just didn't define "clean" and "dirty" when I said it. When I say that I really do mean a girl who doesn't handle her sexual responsibilities and still has sex. And you're right, I can't blame you for reading it the way you did.


Thanks for clarifying.

I agree that lying about sexual health/past is a pretty low thing to do (not sure if I would imply that it was dirty though), but maybe I can understand it? It's easy for those of us who are STI-free to judge those with STIs lying about their status, but there is such a strong stigma associated with carrying one that maybe they feel lying about it is the only way to lead a normal life? It's a shame if that's what they think, that's for sure.

Anyway, the best prevention is education. And condoms. And Gardasil! :b


----------



## Phibes (Mar 8, 2009)

I'm listening to such a beautiful voice sing now. Beth Gibbons of Portishead. 
I'm going to cry.


----------



## theuprising (Oct 2, 2009)

TheDaffodil said:


> Nah, I think I'll keep using the term I prefer, thank you. If you can put something in someone else's body that shouldn't be there in my opinion you are a dirty person. I'm not trying to imply that all of them but those who would lie and/or not take care of it, yes, they are dirty people.


Well its not surprising people with SA are some of the most judgemental. Please read this ebook (torrent it):

"Ultimate secrets of total confidence"


----------



## TRENNER (Sep 21, 2009)

leomouse said:


> most people DO NOT have std's and if you're so worried get them tested before having sex.


Life is never risk-free. However, there are definitely ways to lessen the odds. Using a condom helps as does asking for testing as Leomouse suggests. Also, as you can see from this forum, there are a surprisingly large number of sexually inexperienced people out there---people who won't have STDs.


----------



## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

I know this doesn't work in every sexual relationship, but I think it's really important that couples feel comfortable enough with each other to discuss STIs. Both of you should be tested, even if neither of you thinks you've got anything. The more we're open about STIs and getting tested, the less likely people are to cover them up or not get tested.

/ end public service announcement


----------



## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

didnt they get rid of STIs and go back to STDs??

anyway, as stated, most people dont have STDs. yes use proctetion no matter what. protection is about safety not trust. going out there and thinking that the majority of people have an STD is too negative a view if youre looking for romance.


----------



## TheDaffodil (Jun 20, 2009)

theuprising said:


> Well its not surprising people with SA are some of the most judgemental. Please read this ebook (torrent it):
> 
> "Ultimate secrets of total confidence"


I'm not really judgmental. I think you're taking what I said the wrong way. If you have read _everything _I said in this thread and you still think that about me then maybe you're taking it personally.

Having an opinion does not automatically equal being judgmental. I'd rather have a stance on something than not have anything to say about it because at least then I'm being attentive, using my mind, and being honest with my feelings. Again, that doesn't mean I'm judgmental and I'm actually offended that you would assume that about me over this one subject and the fact that I have SA.


----------



## mighty atom (Mar 5, 2009)

sublimit said:


> PLEASE don't use terms like "clean" to describe people who are STI-free; people with STIs aren't "dirty". Yes, STIs are common, but you shouldn't avoid having sex because you're afraid of getting one. Use protection, get tested, get educated, and enjoy life!


have to say the issue of sti's is the only thing that makes me happy about being a virgin!

I haven't avoided sex to avoid sti's - i have way bigger issues than that - but the sad truth is people do have them and do have unsafe sex - that's why the cases being treated are rising and why the UK has the largest teenages pregnany rate in western europe,(not an sti obvs!!! just to indicate lack of protection) plus sti's are also now a major problem in the over 45's!!! who are having unprotected sex it seems! So even if i can feel better that i'm not going to fall foul of the teenage spread - the fact that older people who really should know better are just as bad - means anyone can potentialy be infected.

It's all scary - i don't like the idea of an activity thats meant to be enjoyable etc, giving me an infection! I guess you have to be sensible and also very firm that you know a person's sexual history and have proof that they are free from any infections.

It seems some don't have symptoms - so i guess if you start to sleep with anyone new you need to ask them to get checked before anything happens. If they've had a sexual partner since any previous check ups they need to see someone and show you they are free from anything.

It just seems to add lots of stress to another area that us SA's may already find hard. So depressing. In this day and age of people having more sexual partners in general and there being the culture of one night stands and people having '**** buddies'! and the like - on top of feeling embarrassed fro still being a virgin, i'll have to make sure i'm assertive enough to insist on this.

I guess anyone who is genuine and cares should do it - but the idea of meeting resistance and finding people don't care enough, makes me more scared to even try to go there.

At least (if i ever manage to have sex) the other person will know they are safe - as there's no history here at all.


----------



## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

Phoebus said:


> As hard as it is to find a guy without STDs. :roll


I agree, you can't discriminate just females.

Well i suppose for a girl you could look in a convent, and girls looking for a man should look in a monastary 

Seriously though, i guess we do live in a scary age where people have sex so freely, this is why i would prefer a virgin. I am also a virgin.


----------



## saillias (Oct 5, 2008)

Only have sex with someone if you both get tested...


----------



## theuprising (Oct 2, 2009)

TheDaffodil said:


> I'm not really judgmental. I think you're taking what I said the wrong way. If you have read _everything _I said in this thread and you still think that about me then maybe you're taking it personally.
> 
> Having an opinion does not automatically equal being judgmental. I'd rather have a stance on something than not have anything to say about it because at least then I'm being attentive, using my mind, and being honest with my feelings. Again, that doesn't mean I'm judgmental and I'm actually offended that you would assume that about me over this one subject and the fact that I have SA.


sorry it was my mistake, you are correct

but still, that's a good book to read, for anyone with SA


----------



## TheDaffodil (Jun 20, 2009)

theuprising said:


> sorry it was my mistake, you are correct
> 
> but still, that's a good book to read, for anyone with SA


:high5


----------



## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

Well, unless flies can transmit. I know I don't have any veneral diseases. I expect that level of trust from my partner ( if ? ).

I'd it if after all these years, the first girl Ilay with, infects me.

The catch is, you gotta do the test at 6 month intervals just to make sure.


----------



## John_in_SF (Mar 1, 2009)

It's really, really hard if all you want is "a girl." On the other hand, if you want to fall in love and develop intimacy with a member of the opposite sex, you may have better luck.


----------



## leomouse (Dec 1, 2008)

now i will scare you a bit... actually alot of people do have herpes (the cold sore bacteria strain, type 1) but most people do not exhibit any symptoms as that virus may lay dormant. it does not make them dirty as it's soo easy to get it.

strain/type 2 genital herpes probably does not occur as often and it's hard to test people for that unless they have an outbreak. good news is that it's not the end of the world if you catch that, it would suck still. also sti's like chlamydia and gonorrhea are very common yet easily treatable, so you should test your partner for those as well as syphilis and HIV. some doctors won't automatically test for all desises so you have to mke sure you got tested for all of the ones i named. most imporant thing is open communication and protection if you're not sure where they have been with their genitals. lol one more thing i learned is that if you're ever gonna do hiv testing do it at an annonymous clinic cause healthy insurance companies can use it aginst you saying you might not be leading a "clean life" and are exhibiting risky behavior... i know pretty stupid but that's what I've heard.


----------



## TheDaffodil (Jun 20, 2009)

^

I'd also add that using a condom doesn't fully protect you because there are things that live on pubic hair soooooooo I would keep that in mind. :yes


----------



## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

TheDaffodil said:


> ^
> 
> I'd also add that using a condom doesn't fully protect you because there are things that live on pubic hair soooooooo I would keep that in mind. :yes


 unfortunately, the trend for women these days is to have no hair


----------



## DanCan (Jul 29, 2009)

don't sleep with any hoebags. If she's ready to go on the first date with you, then she's probably slept with a bunch of other people.


----------



## TheDaffodil (Jun 20, 2009)

nubly said:


> unfortunately, the trend for women these days is to have no hair


That is true. They wanna look like little girls. uke
But it's a very valuable tip for straight/bisexual/pansexual women and gay/bisexual/pansexual men, or people who might experiment (trying to cover all the bases, haha).


----------



## Narcissus (Aug 28, 2007)

nubly said:


> unfortunately, the trend for women these days is to have no hair


It is unfortunate. Me liek furry! Unless carbs/lobster.


----------



## wineandcheese (Oct 1, 2009)

What the eff? Why is it about the girl being clean? Guys pass STDs on too, you know...


----------



## wineandcheese (Oct 1, 2009)

DanCan said:


> don't sleep with any hoebags. If she's ready to go on the first date with you, then she's probably slept with a bunch of other people.


A girl can catch something without being a "hoebag".


----------



## TheDaffodil (Jun 20, 2009)

wineandcheese said:


> What the eff? Why is it about the girl being clean? Guys pass STDs on too, you know...


Well the OP, I'm assuming, is a straight male so...it's not that anyone is ignoring the fact that a guy can. That just wasn't the original specification.


----------



## Delicate (May 23, 2008)

Conflict-> Drama-> Result!!
Well done...


----------



## filledwithfear1 (Sep 28, 2009)

wineandcheese said:


> What the eff? Why is it about the girl being clean? Guys pass STDs on too, you know...


Because I'm a straight guy. Besides I'm clean unless I actually did hiv as explained by this topic? Which I would like more reassurence for btw...

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/can-i-hiv-from-something-like-this-73401/


----------



## zookeeper (Jun 3, 2009)

This has to be one of the strangest threads I've ever read. So much so that I'm not even sure how to start making fun of it.


----------



## Fuzzy Logic (Sep 16, 2009)

Do women have this fear often? Just wondering, because it would make me a very attractive partner, seeing as I am one of the few guys my age absolutely guaranteed not to carry anything. :lol


----------



## IllusionOfHappiness (Sep 6, 2007)

I can't believe I read this entire thread. :fall


----------



## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

IllusionOfHappiness said:


> I can't believe I read this entire thread. :fall


:lol


----------



## filledwithfear1 (Sep 28, 2009)

Fuzzy Logic said:


> Do women have this fear often? Just wondering, because it would make me a very attractive partner, seeing as I am one of the few guys my age absolutely guaranteed not to carry anything. :lol


Like me ^_^


----------



## leomouse (Dec 1, 2008)

i get scared about diseases too, soo a clean guy is a plus, but some experience is good too...just no man *****s


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

The title of this thread just absolutely roflmao'd me. Gold.


----------



## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

This thread is a good example of what is wrong with SAS....how does this thread stay alive and others get shut down?? This thread is ridiculous.


----------

