# SSRI success story (long)



## Jcq126 (Jan 11, 2010)

Hey guys, I don't post here as much anymore as my depression/anxiety is pretty much gone so I just stopped sitting on the forums as much which tends to happen lol. Anyway, i'll get to what happened now and hopefully this can inspire some people or give them hope.

I've been on Celexa (20mg) since February 2010 and have never been on any SSRIs for my SAD/GAD. I've had anxiety ever since I can remember since I was a little kid right up until the day before my medication began working. I am 22 now, I was jobless because I was too petrified to hold a job and even when I was employed I would almost throw up everyday before work, afraid to answer a telephone, rarely left my house just played online games in my basement to escape the anxiety, I dropped out of university because I couldn't handle it because of the anxiety etc...

Well after a potentially fatal car accident last year, I got a settlement for my injuries/accident and decided I would move across the country to where my girlfriend lived (Montreal) and start a new journey. But after living off the money I received from my settlement began to dwindle, I was left with no job, an empty bank account and rent to pay. I lived off bread and macaroni for months and at times couldn't afford eggs, I was borrowing money from my mom back home to make rent and I still couldn't go get a job because of anxiety which is when my girlfriend pushed me to get help. I finally went to the doctor and was prescribed 20 mg of Celexa after suffering my whole life, I was skeptical and terrified but went with it.

Now 8 months later, I have a full time job, I can support myself, my gf and my 2 dogs, I am happy and have the drive again to get on with my life and and am working towards my career. The main reason I am making this thread is because of what happened this weekend. My girlfriend was approached by scouts to be a hair model for a large company at a fashion convention that was happening, she agreed. She went for a consultation to meet the model team, discuss what they were going to do with her hair etc... so I went with her to make sure she was safe (meeting strangers at a hotel) and was asked by the same scouts if I (YES ME) wanted to model also. I agreed to do it and felt no anxiety, I was actually kind of excited! Yes, me, the same guy who dropped out of university because he couldn't stand infront of the class or ask to join a group to do a presentation.

Not knowing what I was doing, where I was going or how I was going to do it, I showed up on the first day (no anxiety), met the team, had my hair cut and dyed (without knowing what they were doing) and then the next day showed up again without anxiety and went to rehearsals for the show, it turned out I wasn't just taking photos for a magazine or website, but I was WALKING A CAT WALK infront of a large audience and photographers with a crazy hair cut. I was excited for it and actually had a great time, when the lights were dimmed and the music was playing and my turn to walk out onto the cat walk came I was not afraid, I was actually excited and went out there with ease and comfort and enjoyed it, I did 4 more shows that day and the same thing each time! Even though we were under rehearsed (only ran through it 3 times) and had never modeled before I still managed to enjoy myself and have minimal anxiety during the whole event (being anxiously excited is normal). My point is that I did something I never imagined I could EVER do without being drunk off my *** or near unconscious from benzo sedation, I am so proud of myself and can say that I am actually happy and I hope you guys can find success too.

This was a long post, but I wanted to share how far i've come as a person in my battle against GAD/SAD and want to give you guys a little hope. I hope you enjoyed the read.

photo: http://i765.photobucket.com/albums/xx295/jcq126/Ruskmodelpicjosh.jpg


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## Area88 (Oct 4, 2010)

Thanks for posting Jcq126, it was a really lovely read, the best stories are the detailed ones. Can I ask how long did your medication take before it became effective and you felt the difference?

Good luck with any future modeling or goals in general, it's always great to hear another success story.


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## Jcq126 (Jan 11, 2010)

Area88 said:


> Thanks for posting Jcq126, it was a really lovely read, the best stories are the detailed ones. Can I ask how long did your medication take before it became effective and you felt the difference?
> 
> Good luck with any future modeling or goals in general, it's always great to hear another success story.


Good to hear you enjoyed it! That's the funny thing and what makes the story more interesting in my opinion is that I don't have any modeling goals and never have which is why this is an even scarier scenario. I am a martial artist and a writer, I never have aimed to be a model it was just a random scenario that happened so I decided to go for it to really test myself and to see how far my anxiety has come and I can honestly say i've never been more proud of myself. Thank you area88!

edit: Forgot to respond to your question about the meds. Day 9 is the first day that I truly felt it kick in, I woke up one morning and the whole world just felt happy lol, like a burden had been lifted from my shoulders, after that it was all up hill.


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## extend (May 11, 2009)

congrats! I would never in a million years have the guts to model so if you were able to pull it off than that's a great sign of success.


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## Cold (Aug 29, 2010)

Brilliant post buddy!  Your girlfriend seems like an amazing person for sticking with you through all of this - sounds like a keeper  Enjoy life, you've earned it!


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## alex999 (Oct 21, 2008)

I can certainly relate. I was on Lexapro for 7 months. Going on it was probably the biggest turning point in my life. I faced social situations and talked to people with absolute ease. I did things I wouldn't have imagined of doing. It probably literally saved my life at the time because I was at the lowest point ever the first day I took the drug.

The biggest thing I got out of it was I learned lot about myself and where I belong in life. I learned that our minds are our worst enemy. I also learned that most people will talk to me. People aren't that bad after all. 

I think that is key when it comes to being on these meds - you need to observe things about yourself and people. You need to take something out of it. You just don't go with the flow and let the drug take you wherever it wants, you need to learn things from it. They should be used in conjunction with therapy. 

But as of 3 days ago I finally decided to wean off. I don't think I'd be on that drug the rest of my life. It helped me, but there were definitely things I didn't like - I had limited emotional range, no sex drive, tired all the time. I added Wellbutrin and that didn't help. I'm a guitar player and I found it kind of took the edge out of my creativity. Cost is also a factor, this drug is expensive every month. 

But overall I want to take the same mindset I had on the drug and translate it to "real life." Right now I can sense that its effect is fading - emotions, libido, etc are back. But I feel even better than I did before. It's like I have a new outlook on life.


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## rustybob (Nov 19, 2009)

Good to hear that things are going well. There seems to be constant negativity towards SSRIs and SNRIs on this board. I felt awful while on Zoloft, but I always kept an open mind about those drugs.

Right now I'm on Effexor. Effexor almost instantly relieved the horrible anxiety I was getting while driving (which is likely PTSD). Now I'm calm and in complete control behiind the wheel again.

As I've upped the dose Effexor also seems to be helping with apathy and anhedonia. Some days it's gone, some days it's lessened, other days no change. It's only been 6 weeks or so since I've started, but it seems like the worst is behind me. Some of the side effects were/still are crappy, but the benefits outweigh the side effects. Lots of them seem to be fading, so I definitely have hope again that everything is gonna be alright.

I certainly never hated SSRI/SNRIs before, but now I'm a believer. For me I think the key for why I'm tolerating them this time is Remeron. One day I forgot to take my Remeron and felt awful the whole next day until I remembered that I didn't take it. Half an hour later everything was fine.


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## pegger18636 (Aug 3, 2010)

That's so amazing that medication actually worked that well for you, and props for doing what it takes to get your life back. I wish I could say the same for myself. I'm pretty similar to how you were, 22 years old, dropped outta university two years ago, bailed outta my last job last winter (from building SA that usually worsens in the winter), want a job so bad and hate living at home but sooo scared to do an interview don't think I could handle it. It's a ***** cuz life was pretty good till university for me... had friends girlfriends sports parties and now I pretty much got nothing my life is so dominated by SA. My gf finally broke up with me after 5 years, she's starting grad school OT and I'm doing **** all, and I haven't been answerin my friends' calls cuz I'm so embarassed so they mostly stopped trying after like 2 years of not seein em a whole lot.

Anyways I tried Paxil and Celexa last winter but didn't feel either of em did anything, I gave them about 3 months then quit cuz I wasn't willin to tolerate the sexual side effects if they weren't gonna help.

I just went back to the doctor and I'm tryin an SNRI Pristiq. I've been on them for a few weeks now and nothin really so far. You say your SSRI's started working for you after only 9 days? **** that must've been an awesome feeling. I'm pretty frustrated but I don't know this sort of gives me hope some medication may eventually work for me. I guess I'll try increasing my dosage and not give up just yet. I noticed in one of your other threads you were talkin about Inderal and how it was working pretty well, I'm just curious if it was workin why you switched to SSRIs? I guess for myself at some point it might be time to try another class of medication.

Just to clarify, you've never tried any therapy right??
I went and creeped on your profile lol, to see how bad **** was during your first post and how far you've come since well once again congrats.


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## Jcq126 (Jan 11, 2010)

pegger18636 said:


> That's so amazing that medication actually worked that well for you, and props for doing what it takes to get your life back. I wish I could say the same for myself. I'm pretty similar to how you were, 22 years old, dropped outta university two years ago, bailed outta my last job last winter (from building SA that usually worsens in the winter), want a job so bad and hate living at home but sooo scared to do an interview don't think I could handle it. It's a ***** cuz life was pretty good till university for me... had friends girlfriends sports parties and now I pretty much got nothing my life is so dominated by SA. My gf finally broke up with me after 5 years, she's starting grad school OT and I'm doing **** all, and I haven't been answerin my friends' calls cuz I'm so embarassed so they mostly stopped trying after like 2 years of not seein em a whole lot.
> 
> Anyways I tried Paxil and Celexa last winter but didn't feel either of em did anything, I gave them about 3 months then quit cuz I wasn't willin to tolerate the sexual side effects if they weren't gonna help.
> 
> ...


Thanks man! I recommend anyone to go through my post history and check out my first post to see how dramatic the change truly is. To the above poster who said he came off Lexapro and has a new outlook on life, this is what I want to do. I've learned so much about myself and others through using a small dose of Celexa. I have a genetic disposition for depression/anxiety as it runs in the family, mom has been on Paxil for 22 years, brother almost comitted suicide, uncle comitted suicide... so I do believe that it will be a life long battle with me.

Also, yes I did try therapy, I did CBT and it really didn't help me much. My chemical imbalance is what really gets me, it's not my thought pattern really as I had everything to be happy about and not anxious about, but it just has ALWAYS been this way so if I do have to take meds for the next decades to come I will, but I plan on tapering off next year and seeing if the anxiety comes back.

Once again, thank you to all who took the time to read my post, I really hope I can inspire others to have faith. I was lucky that my first try on an SSRI happened to be the "one" for me. I have zero sexual side effects, still have my emotions (I actually feel them more now that i'm not anxious to show them), I do notice my creativity is down a tad (i'm a writer), but that could just be writers block.

Good luck to everyone on there journey.


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## crayzyMed (Nov 2, 2006)

Great news mate!!


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## Jcq126 (Jan 11, 2010)

For people curious:

Here is my first post/thread ever on the SAS forum, shows your my state of being.

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f30/i-need-help-badly-80462/


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## gordonjohnson008 (Nov 2, 2008)

Jcq - Congratulations on your amazing progress, and thanks for sharing the story. 

I've had similar success from the SSRI Paxil. Have you thought about whether you want to stay on Celexa indefinitely or if you're going to stay on it for awhile and then eventually get off? It sounds like your mother has had success from Paxil, but has she noticed any negative side effects from being on it 22 years like memory or attention issues? SSRIs poop out for a lot of people, but maybe not for everybody.


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## Positive (Jun 29, 2009)

Could you go into detail more in terms of your thoughts and realization as to when you realized things worked? Could it be a psychological thing, and not chemical imbalance?


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## Jcq126 (Jan 11, 2010)

Positive said:


> Could you go into detail more in terms of your thoughts and realization as to when you realized things worked? Could it be a psychological thing, and not chemical imbalance?


Well what happened with me was I wasn't looking for anything, I actually wanted to stop taking the medication the first week I started it as I was having really ****ty side effects but my GF convinced my to stick with it and see how I feel so I just kept popping the pill nightly and then the morning that it began working a bit it's just like the clouds disappeared and the sun came out, I had a few days of euphoria. Once I noticed the effects I was shocked as I wasn't sure if it would even help, I just had options left and I was at rock bottom.

My thought pattern before the medication was always negative and worry, worry, worry about everything. My anxiety controlled my life which made me depressed. Ever since I started to have the medication work, I noticed that I didn't necessarily think "differently", it's just that all that negativeness seemed to be muffled, and then before I knew it I was doing things without holding myself back and this event was the ultimate test for me. For me it's not just a psychological problem because I understood I had no reason to have these feelings, I challenged the anxiety asking myself why am I feeling this way, what reasons have led to this etc to try to break it down and I knew it was ridiculous but I just had the crippling anxiety still no matter what I did for my whole life, which is why I believe I do have a chemical imbalance (it's not coincidence that most people in my family have some sort of anxiety/depression symptoms/disorders).

Also, here is a picture of myself on the stage to a.) verify the story and b.) to put a photo to the story to maybe help people feel like they can do it too. You cannot see the audience from the pic really, but there were roughly 100 people.

http://i765.photobucket.com/albums/xx295/jcq126/Ruskmodelpicjosh.jpg


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## Subee (Oct 6, 2010)

Thanks to you for your story, maybe I have a little renewed faith to ask AGAIN about trying a different drug combo. As I shared in another post, I felt like a NORMAL UN-DEPRESSED person for the first and only time in my life when I was on Zoloft but I had no sex drive. I guess I find it hard to understand why anyone would even conSIDER going off their meds if they help and you don't have a comletely intolerable side effect b/c this depression/anxiety has been such a lifelong issue for me. I tried to overdose 2 times when a teenager, I am now 44.


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## Area88 (Oct 4, 2010)

Jcq126, I've got to say it again but this really is one the nicest recovery stories I've ever read. I also suffered from horrible anxiety when things were actually going really, really well for me and it gives me hope, that with medication, I can also make a full recovery.

You're a good looking guy and actually have a typical model's profile. I bet a lot of the other model girls really fancied you. I would beg you to consider this as a possible career option, even if it was just part time. This could easily be one of your many hidden talents.


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## Jcq126 (Jan 11, 2010)

Subee said:


> Thanks to you for your story, maybe I have a little renewed faith to ask AGAIN about trying a different drug combo. As I shared in another post, I felt like a NORMAL UN-DEPRESSED person for the first and only time in my life when I was on Zoloft but I had no sex drive. I guess I find it hard to understand why anyone would even conSIDER going off their meds if they help and you don't have a comletely intolerable side effect b/c this depression/anxiety has been such a lifelong issue for me. I tried to overdose 2 times when a teenager, I am now 44.


Hey I am glad that I able to inspire you to keep on pushing! I really believe it comes down to finding the medication that works with you and your body. As of right now I CANNOT tell I am on medication at all. I have no side effects anymore, no dry mouth, no sex problems (if anything i'm hornier because i'm more calm now hah) everything is going great. This whole situation has really inspired me to try to help others find that it does get better and that you can find a way to get through it. I am sorry you had to go through feeling that way to the point of attempting to OD.



Area88 said:


> Jcq126, I've got to say it again but this really is one the nicest recovery stories I've ever read. I also suffered from horrible anxiety when things were actually going really, really well for me and it gives me hope, that with medication, I can also make a full recovery.
> 
> You're a good looking guy and actually have a typical model's profile. I bet a lot of the other model girls really fancied you. I would beg you to consider this as a possible career option, even if it was just part time. This could easily be one of your many hidden talents.


Haha well thank you very much for the compliment! I actually find it somewhat funny because my hobby is actually doing martial arts and competing in fights so I am the last person to be a model, but I will admit I did have a good time! One of the model girls is my girlfriend so. :teeth I am glad you enjoy my recovery story, the road doesn't end here. I am thinking about starting my own website similar to this one and really spreading hope to everybody out there who suffers alone with these feelings.


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## Area88 (Oct 4, 2010)

Jcq126 said:


> One of the model girls is my girlfriend so. :teeth I am glad you enjoy my recovery story, the road doesn't end here. I am thinking about starting my own website similar to this one and really spreading hope to everybody out there who suffers alone with these feelings.


 Awesome! Is she in the pic as well, can I ask which one she is? Good idea about the website Jcq126, will you have a forum as well?


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## Jcq126 (Jan 11, 2010)

Area88 said:


> Awesome! Is she in the pic as well, can I ask which one she is? Good idea about the website Jcq126, will you have a forum as well?


Ya the main feature would be a forum. I know we have SAS but I want to run my own and my own way + promote it better so it's not as dead as SAS. She is the asian girl with the BIG frizzy hair (when looking at the photo) she will be on your right of the stage, the 2nd girl your right of me in the photo.


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## Jcq126 (Jan 11, 2010)

Bump for some people who missed the thread and may want to read.


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## No Surprises (Nov 1, 2009)

I'm glad you've made it so far.

To be honest, though, the fact that you had a girlfriend who was willing to stick with you during your lowest phase meant that you had a considerable advantage from the start. It's one thing to be locked away and to have somebody you care about encouraging you to get out and improve your life; it's another to be in the same situation and be beckoned by nothing more than a pile of crumpled books and a laptop. I know it's petty of me to point this out, but it at least deserves to be weighed among the factors that lead to your improvement. (That is, maybe Celexa just happened to be the last missing piece of the puzzle, in your case.)


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## Jcq126 (Jan 11, 2010)

No Surprises said:


> I'm glad you've made it so far.
> 
> To be honest, though, the fact that you had a girlfriend who was willing to stick with you during your lowest phase meant that you had a considerable advantage from the start. It's one thing to be locked away and to have somebody you care about encouraging you to get out and improve your life; it's another to be in the same situation and be beckoned by nothing more than a pile of crumpled books and a laptop. I know it's petty of me to point this out, but it at least deserves to be weighed among the factors that lead to your improvement. (That is, maybe Celexa just happened to be the last missing piece of the puzzle, in your case.)


Not sure if this changes anything, but I was actually in a long distance relationship with my GF for 2.5 years before actually moving to where she lived and now we have an apartment together, the anxiety was there while doing the long distance. I got on the meds once we moved in though and she definitely supported me.


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## peaceandlove09 (Aug 10, 2010)

hey man 

your positive experience on Celexa has encouraged me to try it for myself. 

will let you know how it goes!


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## Cold (Aug 29, 2010)

Hey man, I'm just giving this thread a little bump. We're actually on the same 2 meds, propral and citalopram/celexa. I would like to ask you a few questions though:

Do you still need propral to control your blushing? I made a thread where you said you suffered from the same problems, and you said it helped you but that you don't need much anymore. Do you still use it for that at all?

Secondly, does the SSRI cause you to blush considerably less, as well? I'm getting that effect myself, I'm now able to eat publically without blushing, which is something I would DREAD before. That is on 10mg as well! I will have the dosage doubled the first chance I get, but still. Do you think I should be seeing even better results with 20mg?

Thirdly - I'm seeing my doc in about 3 weeks, and then I will ask for my dosage to be upped. But can I already take 20mg on the days that I know will be really anxiety-inducing while normally only using 10mg? Can you change your dosage like that?

Thanks!


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## Jcq126 (Jan 11, 2010)

Cold said:


> Hey man, I'm just giving this thread a little bump. We're actually on the same 2 meds, propral and citalopram/celexa. I would like to ask you a few questions though:
> 
> Do you still need propral to control your blushing? I made a thread where you said you suffered from the same problems, and you said it helped you but that you don't need much anymore. Do you still use it for that at all?
> 
> ...


Hey Cold, glad to hear about your success!

First question: I haven't taken Propranolol since getting on Celexa, it's been over half a year since i've had a single pill of Propranolol in my system, I don't even think about blushing anymore and it doesn't happen.

Second question: As I said, I don't even think about blushing anymore, it's not in my thought pattern whatsoever when it use to ruin my life, you actually just reminded me because I had forgot I even blushed before which is incredible. I've been on 20mg since day 1 so I have no advice on dosages.

Third question: Same as 2nd question, i've been on 20mg since day 1, so no idea how going from 10 to 20 back to 10 would effect you. My doc said 20mg is the basic therapeutic dosage so I would get to 20 mg and stick on it if I were you. Best of luck!


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## Jcq126 (Jan 11, 2010)

whatsername75 said:


> Wow, thanks for posting. It's really nice to read a success story for a change. I started taking Celexa (20mg, like you) a few days ago. I'm on day 4 and the medication is making me feel really nauseous and tired. I heard that it takes a few weeks for the side effects to subside, so I guess I just have to be patient. Anyway, just wanted to say that I found your story very comforting. I am hopeful that I will experience similar success.


Great to hear!

The first 9 days for me were side effects. Nausea, Loss of apatite, dry mouth like a mother ****er, waking up in the middle of the night. I called my Mom back home crying saying I can't do it but her and my girlfriend encouraged me to keep doing it. The key I found which helped was taking my meds before bed, so the side effects wouldn't hit me as hard, I suggest it. The side effects WILL go away, the reason I believe people hate on SSRIs is because they try them and get really sick then quit, you MUST wait it out before you see the benefits. It takes 6-8 weeks to FULLY kick in and trust me you will notice the difference very slowly, a trick is to ask a close friend or family member to monitor you and to tell you if they notice positive changes because sometimes it's hard to notice it yourself.

My analogy is it's kind of like growing your hair, if you look in the mirror everyday you won't notice it getting longer, but if you just wait it out you eventually realize, holy **** my hair is getting long! That's the best analogy I can come up with right now lol, point is don't dwell on the pills just take it every night without thinking about it and in a few weeks you will start noticing the sun seems that much brighter


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## crayzyMed (Nov 2, 2006)

Man Jcq126, your a great encouragement for others, i dunno you can really find the right words to make the message clear that its worth waiting out, i'm sure youll help a few ppl by posting all of this!


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## Jcq126 (Jan 11, 2010)

crayzyMed said:


> Man Jcq126, your a great encouragement for others, i dunno you can really find the right words to make the message clear that its worth waiting out, i'm sure youll help a few ppl by posting all of this!


Thanks man! You don't know it but you are one of the main contributors who changed my life, if it wasn't for your comments on my posts I made in the beginning supporting me I might have ended up in a really bad place. Thank you again.

I want to support everyone I can and pass on my message to others, my life was crippled and ruined for close to 2 decades because of this horrible condition and I feel for these people and was in the exact same situation, I really wish mods would sticky my SSRI success story because I keep seeing threads pop up about being afraid to take your meds etc, that way if it was stickied people could read it right away and be comforted.


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## Ashes226 (Mar 2, 2010)

I'm really happy to hear you've overcome SAD and depression. Reading stories like these really does give me hope.

I found this thread through the search bar when looking up Celexa. A doctor said she would put me on Celexa in a week or two from now, so I decided to look up people's experiences with it. The way your story sounds like mine is almost scary, but I'm only 16 at the moment lol.

I really do appreciate your post as do a lot of other members evidently. I'm gunnu stalk your profile now k? I can't wait until I can write my own success story. It can't come a day too soon.


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## Skysie (Oct 24, 2010)

Wow that's an amazing story. It's things like this that motivate me. I had taken 40 mg Celexa for a year and it wasn't helping so I decided to quit. I should probably give it another try though.


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## gordonjohnson008 (Nov 2, 2008)

@Skysie A year is probably a sufficient trial. If you were on a med for a year and it did nothing, definitely try something else. This board is a good resource to see what options are out there, but finding a good psychiatrist is even more important.


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## Jcq126 (Jan 11, 2010)

Skysie said:


> Wow that's an amazing story. It's things like this that motivate me. I had taken 40 mg Celexa for a year and it wasn't helping so I decided to quit. I should probably give it another try though.


One year is a solid trial, if it hasn't worked in that long then the med just may not be the one your brain chemistry needs. Try a different brand and good luck!


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## Jcq126 (Jan 11, 2010)

Ashes226 said:


> I'm really happy to hear you've overcome SAD and depression. Reading stories like these really does give me hope.
> 
> I found this thread through the search bar when looking up Celexa. A doctor said she would put me on Celexa in a week or two from now, so I decided to look up people's experiences with it. The way your story sounds like mine is almost scary, but I'm only 16 at the moment lol.
> 
> I really do appreciate your post as do a of other members evidently do. I'm gunnu stalk your profile now k? I can't wait until I can write my own success story. It can't come a day too soon.


Feel free to stalk! I'm not a very frequent poster but I do come here everyday and post if I see something that I can respond to or something related to this thread or Celexa questions, also drop me a PM if you have any questions ever. I really would like to have this thread sticky'd, does anyone know who to PM to have it possibly sticky'd so people can read for inspiration?


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## crayzyMed (Nov 2, 2006)

You can PM jim morrison, he's a mod here.


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## Kon (Oct 21, 2010)

Congrats. I had a clonazepam success story. Big time. It lasted for ~ 8 years until tolerance/abuse set in. You're lucky because I think that's unlikely to happen with SSRIs. I'm currently on lexapro (5-10 mg). I've been on it for ~7 months. I'm not sure it's helping, so I'm guessing it's probably not helping. Good to hear a positive stoty. I'm almost jealous.


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## saara (Jun 7, 2010)

I nearly cried when I read this. I'm crippled by my anxiety but I used to love to perform and have also been asked to model on occasions (which I turned down because of nerves.)

I am started Celexa tonight before bed. I'm going to keep a record of how things are going. I'm going to try and stick it out. 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TELLING YOUR STORY!!!
I hope you continue to do well and love life.


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## jonny neurotic (Jan 20, 2011)

I have a very serious and important question. Can you be sure that you would not have gotten it together without the medication? 

I hear so many bad experiences with SSRI's in general and this one in particular that it strikes me that your success is more of a statistical anomaly than represetative of the general rule. The fact is that many people have times in their live when they feel depressed but they pull through. 

Can you be sure that the medication made any real difference? Statistically it would appear not to over all. I think you may be giving credit to the meds that should really be going to yourself...


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## deelishuss (Apr 5, 2009)

Great thread. I'm starting citalopram tonight and am excited at the prospect of getting out of the rut I've built for myself. Thanks for all the positive words of encouragement.


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## barry1685 (May 25, 2011)

I was on celexa for 6 months. Initially it worked, but it went away quickly and actually made my anxiety worst. I don't think this med is for everyone. Med treatments vary person to person.


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## prufessional (Mar 24, 2011)

i was on citalopram for approx 8 months in 2009.. It worked great but i was stupid and drank 3-4 nights of the week while on it. At first It was great.. no problems, enjoying the social life. Then, one morning I woke up after a night where I drank liquid cocaine shots (which are no joke) and was pretty out of it and my stomach was a mess. I still took my pill like I usually did and decided it be good to buy a coolatta.. Big mistake.
I was so dehydrated and then the sugar, caffeine and ssri went to battle or something in my nervous system and I had the worst panic attack of my life.. ended up in the ER begging for them to see me cause I couldnt relax at all.. I told my mom I dont want to die, and somehow managed to put money in a machine to buy a gatorade to rehydrate. At this point the ativan I popped may have helped a tad and by the time the dr finally saw me i was somewhat calm.
They gave me an IV , which was the greatest thing ever. I never felt so good after that.
I made changes that day of my life with drinking. While I've cut back I never drink that hard any more. Id rather drink watery budlights than the hard stuff or dark beers. For me to cut out booze all together I'd have to say goodbye to everyone I know and be "alone" while trying to meet new friends.
I stayed on the citalopram for another 2 months after that but thought it was having the opposite affect.. I was also in the middle of quitting smoking and less drinking so this could have heightened my anxieties.. It was all enough to make me quit just about everything but I wonder what life would be like if i just took the citalopram and hadnt drank, didnt smoke..ate well, exercised, ect.
I am thinking of trying it again but my only concern is the sexual side affect.. which I dont remember being a problem in 2009.
Will update it i decide to do so as the panic attack the other night really pissed me off and saddened me..


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## Cuauhtemoc (Jul 22, 2010)

jonny neurotic said:


> I have a very serious and important question. Can you be sure that you would not have gotten it together without the medication?
> 
> I hear so many bad experiences with SSRI's in general and this one in particular that it strikes me that your success is more of a statistical anomaly than represetative of the general rule. The fact is that many people have times in their live when they feel depressed but they pull through.
> 
> Can you be sure that the medication made any real difference? Statistically it would appear not to over all. I think you may be giving credit to the meds that should really be going to yourself...


I have a similar story and it can be no coincidence.
Most people with bad experiences are people who have tons of other problems aside from SA, and don't actually like the obvious effects caused by an SSRI like not caring about stuff anymore.
You know, these people that get all emotional because they don't cry everyday or that don't like feeling good because it's a drug and they prefer to get better by some natural method.
And that's especially prevalent on the internet, on real life most people I know who have used SSRI's have pretty positive opinions about it.

I feel kinda angry when I hear these people complaining about how SSRI made them feel numb, then they abruptly stopped it and felt like crap. That's obvious, SSRi's will make you emotionally numb, that's the whole point, it's for people who are suffering. And you don't stop it like that, or you need to get out of it slowly or you will crash.

And I didn't have a time of my life that I had SA, it doesn't work like that, since I was born I was that shy person.


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## Cuauhtemoc (Jul 22, 2010)

Another thing is that tons of people abuse meds and then complain how they do not work as planned. Benzos for example make me feel like crap the day after, if I take too much, but I see tons of people around here who take benzodiazepines daily in high dosages, they also combine it with adderall, alcohol, SSRI's, wellbutrin, marijuana, LSD and then proceed to say the SSRI is not working.
Big surprise
1-SSRIs are not as strong as benzos, atleast no in the short-term, so if they're looking for a fast escape, it won't work. If they are used to these stronger drugs they can barely feel the ssri acting.
2-Too many drugs mess up with your brain


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## CD700 (Apr 22, 2010)

prufessional said:


> i was on citalopram for approx 8 months in 2009.. It worked great but i was stupid and drank 3-4 nights of the week while on it. At first It was great.. no problems, enjoying the social life. Then, one morning I woke up after a night where I drank liquid cocaine shots (which are no joke) and was pretty out of it and my stomach was a mess. I still took my pill like I usually did and decided it be good to buy a coolatta.. Big mistake.
> I was so dehydrated and then the sugar, caffeine and ssri went to battle or something in my nervous system and I had the worst panic attack of my life.. ended up in the ER begging for them to see me cause I couldnt relax at all.. I told my mom I dont want to die, and somehow managed to put money in a machine to buy a gatorade to rehydrate. At this point the ativan I popped may have helped a tad and by the time the dr finally saw me i was somewhat calm.
> They gave me an IV , which was the greatest thing ever. I never felt so good after that.
> I made changes that day of my life with drinking. While I've cut back I never drink that hard any more. Id rather drink watery budlights than the hard stuff or dark beers. For me to cut out booze all together I'd have to say goodbye to everyone I know and be "alone" while trying to meet new friends.
> ...


Over the last 5 years I have self medicated with alcohol as it really kills my SP and depression/apathy.......i start to feel excited about things.
I have tried a lot of ssri/snri over those 5 years and always wondered if they didn't work because of my alcohol intake which was about 12 beers, 3-4 nights a week with the odd bender once in a while. 
But then i read story's like yours and alcohol doesn't seem to matter at all.
I was going to start Paxil again in a few days because now i'm sober but i guess there is no point and it will just be another waste of time.


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## decadeAndAHalfOfSA (Jul 11, 2011)

How long did it take for Celexa to work for you? I don't believe I tried that one, but it's been awhile (maybe 5 years) since I tried any SSRI and I have tried most of them at some time. I don't know if I took much of them longer than a month, though I know I tried some for at least a couple of months. It might be worth trying as I don't recall taking that one for sure.

Effexor was the only SSRI that I recall that gave me side effects and it was a minor brain shock feeling at a high dose.

Thanks


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## decadeAndAHalfOfSA (Jul 11, 2011)

blakeyz said:


> Over the last 5 years I have self medicated with alcohol as it really kills my SP and depression/apathy.......i start to feel excited about things.
> I have tried a lot of ssri/snri over those 5 years and always wondered if they didn't work because of my alcohol intake which was about 12 beers, 3-4 nights a week with the odd bender once in a while.
> But then i read story's like yours and alcohol doesn't seem to matter at all.
> I was going to start Paxil again in a few days because now i'm sober but i guess there is no point and it will just be another waste of time.


Alcohol could actually make your anxiety worse if you are physically addicted to it as you are likely going through withdrawal with rebound anxiety when not drinking. Benzos work much like alcohol and have made my anxiety worse.


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## Cuauhtemoc (Jul 22, 2010)

Guys, alcohol and benzos(excess of them, a little here and there can be useful) do affect you success with SSRI's, they will screw with your brain chemistry, don't abuse them and them come here complaining how ssri are bad. 
Yes, they are weaker than alcohol but they work in the long term and don't cause you to become an alcoholic.


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## prufessional (Mar 24, 2011)

Cuauhtemoc said:


> Guys, alcohol and benzos(excess of them, a little here and there can be useful) do affect you success with SSRI's, they will screw with your brain chemistry, don't abuse them and them come here complaining how ssri are bad.
> Yes, they are weaker than alcohol but they work in the long term and don't cause you to become an alcoholic.


my body is def sensitive to any alcohol intake. it affects me greatly the next few days.. same with a benzo. 
I am giving the ssri a second go with no other substance during the first 6 weeks at least, then maybe I will have a beer one night and see how i feel the next day.
90% of people i know self medicate with booze and live their lives running in circles and its frustrating to watch.

I plan to read more, continue exercising, and watch movies.. night life with booze is over for me :yes


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