# Would a girl be with a guy that couldn't protect her?



## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Would a girl be with a guy if he couldn't protect here? I can't stand up for myself and I seriously doubt I would be able to protect my girl if she was being harassed or threatened. Is this a major deal breaker?


----------



## amberkits (Aug 17, 2013)

Hi Kevin! 
Sure, some wouldn't care. But everyone's different and has different deal breakers. 

My father's someone who flips out on people, and will fight anyone. It's embarrassing tbh. 
I'd rather have me and my man just walk away and laugh.


----------



## Dehabilitated (May 31, 2015)

There aren't really physical threats looming around every corner. Unless you go to dangerous areas, I don't think you're going to need to protect her from being harassed. Actually just having another person, especially male, near her will make most *******s stay away and choose an easier target. Real, legitimate danger also doesn't usually come from strangers. For the most part, it's safe to say that women don't need a boyfriend to protect them from other people, they need other people to protect them from the boyfriend. So no, you should be alright, a bodyguard is not high on most women's list of things they're looking for.


----------



## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

As long as he can yell "hey!" or "knock it off" if things get rough, I'm good. If he doesn't even try verbally, I'd get a little angry at him. Not deal breaker angry, just, angry.

I once had a hobo point at me with a switchblade mumbling something like "I'll cut your eyes off you ****ing *****". My ex wondered if he wanted to talk and waved at him :/. He had 2 masters degrees. Genious. I was so angry, haha. 
Please ignore people with scarp objects.


----------



## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

I mean I don't want him to roll over and play dead at any potential threat, but I don't expect a bodyguard.


----------



## iCod (Feb 17, 2015)

Survival of the fittest, son...
The quiet and the weak perish while the strong and live rule the world.


----------



## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

Ask Charles Darwin.


----------



## starsfire (May 11, 2015)

If i think hes cute then i would have no problem. i could even stand up for him.


----------



## Wirt (Jan 16, 2009)

there's no shame in kicking a man in the bean bag. if he deserves it

hopefully she can run too


----------



## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

If someone harassed me and my bf didn't stand up for me, yeah, that would be a turnoff, just like I'd expect my bf to be turned off if I didn't stand up for him. But there's a huge difference between standing up for your gf/bf and being Chuck Norris.

It's not about winning the fight, it's about being important enough to someone that they're willing to fight for you. If my bf lost every single fight I wouldn't love him one iota less than if he'd won them all.

But I also wouldn't want him picking fights with people. Fights should always be avoided if at all possible. I'd mostly just want him to help us get out of a dangerous situation. That's easier to do as part of a team than it is if he just throws me to the wolves.


----------



## feels (Jun 18, 2010)

Well, like I know my boyfriend would try and throw-down for me but he'd probably get his *** beat but at least he cares enough to try. So, it's more about him caring than it is about him winning or whatever. If he were to like run away then yeah that'd piss me off. I'm always gonna stand up for him too even though I'm like puny and not at all intimidating. 

One time I went to this concert alone and this like cool 30 year old dude took me under his wing and was making people get out of my way and making sure people didn't bump into me. I thought he was about to kick some *** at one point. It wasn't necessary, but it was cool as hell. 8)


----------



## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

I mean I'm capable of taking care of myself...


----------



## Aribeth (Jan 14, 2012)

Probably not...


----------



## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

She might get with such a male, but he would have to have a deterrent factor. Certain males have combat skills which can be used to fight off predators that would eat the female, while others can achieve similar results by having a large body, intimidating face, etc. which serve as a deterrent to other males without physically having to engage in combat. A female must choose which type is best suited to her needs in her present environment, and award mating privileges accordingly. For lower status males who have neither quality, it is advantageous to wait or find an environment in which the more powerful males have weakened each other through repeated skirmishes. In such a situation, the females may be looking to expand their available genetic pool for insurance purposes due to the elevated risk borne by the higher males. In that case, the females may choose a male who is not suited for her protection, ironically because the protector males actually pose more of a risk to their genetic prospects than would the lack of protection.

So yes, it is conceivable that a girl would be with a guy who couldn't protect her.


----------



## Bizarre (Jan 21, 2014)

I don't think its a deal breaker for everyone but most women/girls like to generally have a sense of security.


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Ideally I would like them to do whatever seems the most logical action in the given situation.


----------



## hoddesdon (Jul 28, 2011)

M0rbid said:


> Ask Charles Darwin.


He's not available at the moment.


----------



## sultantrum (Jun 10, 2015)

Sure!! why not!! every girl has different kinds of nature some consider their boyfriends protecting and some doesn't even care.


----------



## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

hoddesdon said:


> He's not available at the moment.


it's ok, I can wait. :smile2:


----------



## Dickjohnson (May 31, 2015)

Every women needs a man to protect her from stuff like bears, rapers, and football players.


----------



## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

No. This is a reason no girl will ever love me. I'm a passive coward.


----------



## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

starsfire said:


> If i think hes cute then i would have no problem. i could even stand up for him.





Persephone The Dread said:


> Ideally I would like them to do whatever seems the most logical action in the given situation.


Same. It's not even a criteria for me. I couldn't care less. The last thing I want is a dudebro, I can tell you that much.


----------



## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Thanks guys. These comments give me hope.


----------



## RuNNer90 (May 26, 2015)

iCod said:


> Survival of the fittest, son...
> The quiet and the weak perish while the strong and live rule the world.


>>


----------



## Fangirl96 (Apr 13, 2015)

As long as he'd be willing to try, then that's good enough no matter if he would be able to actually do defending or not. It's not like i'm planning on moving to some highly criminal place so i doubt i will need a "bodyguard".


----------



## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

I know my boyfriend probably would but otherwise he's a gentle guy.


----------



## Strategist (May 20, 2008)

Are you planning on visiting the middle east any time soon? If not, don't worry about it. I've been with my bf 6 years and I've never needed protection. I would have no problem dealing with jack*****es myself. Women do go places alone you know.


----------



## losthismarbles (Jul 5, 2014)

You would try to protect her though right? I think just if you try that's probably enough for most. I don't always stand up for myself but I I'd rather be beaten to death than watch someone harassing my girlfriend.


----------



## DistraughtOwl (Mar 1, 2014)

I always thought it was more about whether or not they're willing to protect her not if he's strong enough to. I'd want my SO to be willing to protect me too even if she wasn't capable. You're supposed to be there for each other.


----------



## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

well, it would be nice to have backup...


----------



## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

You don't have to physically fight or be a good fighter, but standing there and not even trying to intervene while someone goes after your partner would be upsetting to most people.


----------



## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

Darktower776 said:


> You don't have to physically fight or be a good fighter, but standing there and not even trying to intervene while someone goes after your partner would be upsetting to most people.


Yeah...exactly.


----------



## SuperSaiyanGod (Jan 21, 2014)

Alcadaeus said:


> 2 days ago I saw Sam the Slayer get laid after trying his best to protect Gilly. Hey *If it works in GoT, it works in real life.*


No truer words have ever been spoken.


----------



## greenocelot (May 23, 2015)

Kevin001 said:


> Would a girl be with a guy if he couldn't protect here? I can't stand up for myself and I seriously doubt I would be able to protect my girl if she was being harassed or threatened. Is this a major deal breaker?


I train Jiu Jitsu because I love it and not for any other purpose, I have been training for more than 6 and a half years, but you would not believe the level of misplaced bravado most everyday people have. I have sparred with really good strikers, mostly Muay Thai figthers and boxers, and if they do not know Jiu Jitsu they are dead in the water. This is more true of everyday people. People act really tough and actually know nothing about confrontations and fighting, and when you have trained for over 6 1/2 you see most people are full of bluster and pretentiousness.

So when you know just enough about something like Jiu Jitsu and fighting, you find most people are full of BS and you will find it funny when people act tough. I am not very good at Jiu Jitsu but I wanted to tell you my accomplishments so you don't think I am full of it, I won 2013 Colorado BJJ Fighter of the Year and was invited to compete at Road to Metamoris by Ralek Gracie. You should never worry about silly things as your original post, and I bet you would really like Jiu Jitsu, and if you live in Colorado I could teach you for free.


----------



## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

tea111red said:


> well, it would be nice to have backup...


With a partner, there is always backup.



Skeletra said:


> I once had a hobo point at me with a switchblade mumbling something like "I'll cut your eyes off you ****ing *****". My ex wondered if he wanted to talk and waved at him :/.


One of the best ways to subdue people is to show them calmness. That is the first approach to try.


----------



## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

W A N D E R L U S T said:


> I'd just like all the ladies to know that I'm a black belt in yoga-do so like, PM me ladies. I cleared out my inbox for yous.


Aren't you a girl ?


----------



## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

W A N D E R L U S T said:


> :stu Never checked.


Oh, you should.


----------



## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

I don't know why you wouldn't want to stand up for someone and protect someone you loved.


----------



## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

PocketoAlice said:


> I don't need a protector, just someone who cares enough about me to not leave me hanging by myself. I wouldn't do that to my partner and I'd expect the same of them.


Every girl should have one, if not, the world is going to anarchy.


----------



## bfs (Jan 9, 2015)

Probably not. Standing up for yourself is essential. Even if at first she's cool with it, eventually it will get to a point to where she would get sick of it. 

On the other hand, some women might actually use you for it. If you can't stand up for yourself she would basically own you and treat you however she likes regardless of how you may feel about it.


----------



## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

I've never heard a girl speak kindly about a weak and wimpy guy. I was actually talking to my sister about this earlier and her response was "Hell no, I wouldn't date a wuss who couldn't stand up for me." She's the type who can't stand any hint of androgyny or weakness in a man though.


----------



## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

RelinquishedHell said:


> I've never heard a girl speak kindly about a weak and wimpy guy.










____









It doesn't have to be 'one or the other', and they both have their positives and negatives, but "weak and wimpy" is doing pretty well in the year 2015 (in this^^ case, _significantly_ more popular than "strong and musclebound").


----------



## HIGHfrombeingSHY (Mar 9, 2015)

Don't care about it, I often see beautiful girls in relationships with men that look "weak" and not assertive.
It's very depending on the girl. The cute and smart ones often prefer quiet and soft guys over loud and aggressive ones.


----------



## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

PocketoAlice said:


> Nah, some of us girls are crazy enough to do some damage.
> Still though, being abandoned to fend for yourself is not nice in anyone's case.


Crazy girl. But inflicting some damage is not the same as winning the fight though haha.


----------



## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

sajs said:


> Crazy girl. But inflicting some damage is not the same as winning the fight though haha.


That depends how much damage you can inflict :yes

That and usually people really don't encounter that many dangerous situations where you have to fight.


----------



## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

Skeletra said:


> That depends how much damage you can inflict :yes
> 
> That and usually people really don't encounter that many dangerous situations where you have to fight.


Well, but usually if you not start the fight, the assumption is that the one doing it can inflict you more damage. And we are talking of a man/woman fight, not two girls, in which case ... you don't stop the fight, you just throw some jelly on them :lol


----------



## Pompeii (Aug 25, 2013)

The genuine 'I'll stand up for you with kindness and considered words because I care about you and support you when creeps crawl out of the woodwork' is a beautiful thing, whether that person is male, female or monkey. Physical protection, not so much (unless we're talking a well-timed wedgie).


----------



## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

PocketoAlice said:


> In my experience, the ones picking fights are usually big-mouthed cowards or cowards hiding behind weapons, to which each has their own respective reactions.
> 
> *Girls have plenty of smarts and dirty tricks aside from basic physical capabilities*, don't think we're as helpless as you're led to believe. lol
> But as Skeletra said, this isn't even a terribly common thing.


Tell me more ....


----------



## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

sajs said:


> Tell me more ....


Never been kicked in the nuts?


----------



## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

Skeletra said:


> Never been kicked in the nuts?


No :lol


----------



## IlIlIlIrlpoloIlIlIlI (Feb 5, 2012)

Protecting my gf, my family, or even a girl I don't know would be a natural instinct for me. I feel like that's part of what I'm here for ha.


----------



## KawaiiHime (Oct 10, 2013)

personally, i would like my bf to protect me, physically AND verbally. so if the bullies see that i have a strong man next to me, they will think twice before picking on me. :yes at least that's just me. 

so, if you saw some mother****ers (who look physically stronger than you) being verbally mean to your gf, would you go and defend her or would you just walk away? if it's the latter, than sorry, it would be a very cowardly more. 

btw, i heard even the strongest man falls on the ground when kicked in the knee (or nuts or the adam's apple).


----------



## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

Any woman that wants a so called "alpha male" who can fight off t-rexes with his bare hands, will probably laugh at me. I can't protect anyone. I'm pretty sure a good chunk of women are stronger then me but that's just because i'm a shrimp. 

Look on the bright side of being very small. You think twice before getting into fights because you know you will probably lose. And getting into fights is risky regardless of your size.


----------



## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

I prefer a guy who can talk his way of trouble. I'm attracted to verbally gifted people, who won't resort to violence unless their lives are in danger. I wouldn't appreciate a guy who stepped in, and talked over my head, in a heated situation, though. I have a mouth for a reason. That said, I appreciate being _supported_ by a boyfriend. Who wouldn't? People in a caring relationship will support each other. I would do the same for him.


----------



## greenocelot (May 23, 2015)

xxDark Horse said:


> Any woman that wants a so called "alpha male" who can fight off t-rexes with his bare hands, will probably laugh at me. I can't protect anyone. I'm pretty sure a good chunk of women are stronger then me but that's just because i'm a shrimp.
> 
> Look on the bright side of being very small. You think twice before getting into fights because you know you will probably lose. And getting into fights is risky regardless of your size.


You have the wrong prospective, based on the perception "alpha males" know what they are doing. Firstly, never do anything to please anyone or change your personality to please others.

Secondly, look at people like the Miyao brothers, they are really small (feather and lightweight) and beat people who are 300 LBS. If you know a martial art like Jiu-Jitsu well enough you will realize the "alpha males" are full of bluster and BS and could not fight their way out of a paper bag, plus those guys are just jerks anyway.

But if you want to change then change. I love Jiu Jitsu and would not train it for any reason then than, especially to make someone else happy, but if you feel that you need confidence then change. You only have one life and one statistician said any human has 1 in 400 trillion chance of existing, so be who you want to be.

Here is some proof that skill beats size any day, especially with Jiu Jitsu.


----------



## Peighton (Jun 12, 2015)

I don't expect him to get into a fight with someone just for me but don't do a runner on me either. If he did try to fight, I'd probably stop him and pull the he's/she's/they're not worth it line so he can walk away with his dignity intact. XD I don't walk around looking for fights.


----------



## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

IlIlIlIrlpoloIlIlIlI said:


> Protecting my gf, my family, or even a girl I don't know would be a natural instinct for me. I feel like that's part of what I'm here for ha.


Yeah, seems like most males are protectors. All throughout history males are looked at as being strong and brave. I'm just the opposite. I'm a nice and caring guy but not brave.


----------



## Dehabilitated (May 31, 2015)

I guess I'm glad to be a social reject who never goes anywhere dangerous. It's a real shock to read a thread like this and see how much other people are thinking about how to defuse heated situations, or what to do if attacked. To actually have an etiquette planned for how your boyfriend should act if it happened..... Getting attacked by a stranger... that just doesn't exist in my world.


----------



## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

Just Lurking said:


> With a partner, there is always backup.


well, if they are a good partner, heh.


----------

