# Being Judged For Working Less



## wolfeyes (Mar 30, 2011)

I haven't been on this forum in over a year. I've made some great improvements in different areas of my life, but lately find work challenging and wonder if anyone in this world can relate to me!?

I am fortunate to have a casual position, but I find it hard to work more than 3 days a week because of my Social Anxiety. I feel like people are very judgmental about it and that they aren't accepting of anything less than 4 or 5 days a week.

Work is just so exhausting - having to put on a face for 8 hours. And the thought that you truly are being judged on your performance at work stresses me out so much! I don't know what I will do if I have to get a full-time position one day. I also seem to need more personal time than the average person or I will be stressed out to the point of tears.

What do I do? I make enough to live a decently comfortable life working 3 days a week, so it really shouldn't matter what people think. It's difficult, though, when you know that even the people you are closest to judge you. I feel like they think I am lazy. Maybe I am? Everyone is so focused on getting ahead, while I want to enjoy my life now (but still save a little for the future). Does anyone else relate?


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## masterridley (Jan 20, 2007)

How do you know that people talk about that? And if they do, so what?

Personally, I think people have way bigger problems to think about than the fact that you work part-time.


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## wolfeyes (Mar 30, 2011)

Thanks for the reply.

I don' think they talk about it, but it's just their reaction if I say I am not working today or something. Maybe I read into it a bit, but I have asked a few people closest to me and they said they do think I need to prepare myself for the real world or something to that effect.


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## anomnomnom (May 28, 2013)

Bloody hell, if I could earn enough to live relatively comfortably by only working 3 days a week I'd sign up for it starting now.

Screw what other people think, I'm sure a lot of people would love to only work 3 days a week, I know exactly how you mean, I'm working 5 days a week and its so mentally exhausting, I had an extra friday off once and felt so much better for that 3 day weekend its so damn draining being around people all day. 

Maybe they are just jealous? theres 2 at work who only work tuesday/wednesday/thursday and you can see the bitterness from the rest of us when they leave on thursday afternoon for their long weekends! even if its half jokey, I know I'd love to be in that position!


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## lostinlife (Jun 2, 2010)

anomnomnom said:


> Bloody hell, if I could earn enough to live relatively comfortably by only working 3 days a week I'd sign up for it starting now.
> 
> Screw what other people think, I'm sure a lot of people would love to only work 3 days a week, I know exactly how you mean, I'm working 5 days a week and its so mentally exhausting, I had an extra friday off once and felt so much better for that 3 day weekend its so damn draining being around people all day.
> 
> Maybe they are just jealous? theres 2 at work who only work tuesday/wednesday/thursday and you can see the bitterness from the rest of us when they leave on thursday afternoon for their long weekends! even if its half jokey, I know I'd love to be in that position!


Amen. I get crap for only being an independent contractor but I get to choose where and when I work. You work enough to fit your lifestyle and screw other people who say you should work how they want you to work. You're living the dream as far as I'm concerned.


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## Str (Jun 4, 2013)

wolfeyes said:


> Thanks for the reply.
> 
> I don' think they talk about it, but it's just their reaction if I say I am not working today or something. Maybe I read into it a bit, but I have asked a few people closest to me and they said they do think I need to* prepare myself for the real world* or something to that effect.


I often get the urge to punch people who say bullsh*t things like this. It's as if the rest of your life wasn't real at all and always easy. I sometimes wish people would be more flexible in their thinking. It's as if they _want_ everyone to work as many hours as possible (and make it stressful too).

I'm not working yet, but I already worry about the work pressure you're describing. I would probably work 3 days instead of 5 if the opportunity was there. Having a lot of free time sounds much better to me than having a lot of money while time slowly slips away. I still wonder how the workers from several decades ago managed to work 12 hours+ a day and without weekend or vacation.


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## d91 (Jan 19, 2013)

Hey, I think they are just jealous if they respond anything of weird..
Because, who wouldn't be jealous of someone who can live of only working 3 days a week? 4 days are of total freedom! 
I would envy you!! 
Just think that they are jealous, and if they act like that, screw them for being the sad person  It's a simple mindset if you don't even grant a person free time for themself


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

If you make enough money, then it's fine. Working part-time for full-time money sounds ideal. That's my goal in life.


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## Gizamalukeix (Sep 16, 2012)

They're probably just mad because they have to work more lol.


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## JamesM2 (Aug 29, 2012)

Those who say you need to prepare yourself for the real world have most likely been conditioned to accept the same work/spend cycle that so many others before them have - work 40 hours then spend the lot on consumer junk so you have to come back to work again, rinse and repeat until retirement. 

I used to work full time but it made me miserable and I started asking myself why I was putting myself through it. I know why everyone else I worked with was doing it - they needed the money to pay for their holidays overseas, their expensive cars and their daily lunches and coffees out at flash cafes. But why was I doing it? I lead a basic life and don't want for much - I was only spending a fraction of my income every week, yet I was paying the same price as everyone else by spending what seemed like most of my waking hours at the office. So recently I finally decided to get the courage up and ask to work part time hours instead, and that's what I'm doing now. As a natural night owl I'm loving being able to stay up later and the ensuing morning sleep ins.

As for what people think or say, try not to dwell on it as most people probably won't give it much thought but there's always going be a few people who raise their eye brows when you go against the grain of society's norms. That's their problem to work through.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

People will always judge you no matter what. If you're happy, don't let them ruin it with their BS.


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## wolfeyes (Mar 30, 2011)

JamesM2 said:


> Those who say you need to prepare yourself for the real world have most likely been conditioned to accept the same work/spend cycle that so many others before them have - *work 40 hours then spend the lot on consumer junk so you have to come back to work again*, rinse and repeat until retirement.
> 
> I used to work full time but it made me miserable and I started asking myself why I was putting myself through it. I know why everyone else I worked with was doing it - they needed the money to pay for their holidays overseas, their expensive cars and their daily lunches and coffees out at flash cafes. But why was I doing it? I lead a basic life and don't want for much - I was only spending a fraction of my income every week, yet I was paying the same price as everyone else by spending what seemed like most of my waking hours at the office. So recently I finally decided to get the courage up and ask to work part time hours instead, and that's what I'm doing now. As a natural night owl I'm loving being able to stay up later and the ensuing morning sleep ins.
> 
> As for what people think or say, try not to dwell on it as most people probably won't give it much thought but there's always going be a few people who raise their eye brows when you go against the grain of society's norms. That's their problem to work through.


Exactly! I don't consume as much as other people and would rather have free time than expensive things. I don't spend a whole lot on things I don't need.

Good for you for getting the courage to better your work life. And thanks for the reply.


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## wolfeyes (Mar 30, 2011)

Thanks everyone for the replies.

To clear it up, I don't work 3 day weeks all the time. It's different every week. I was just saying that because I would prefer free time over consuming a lot, I am able to live on 3 days a week. It's definitely my lifestyle - not owning a house or having a new car, etc.


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## Donnie in the Dark (Mar 15, 2011)

I think spending less and working less is a very good move.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Some people are jealous of people getting more for less than they do, or even what they perceive to be less than they do. So they put people down because of that. I don't agree with that behaviour, if you're making enough money to live off who cares?


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## bottleofblues (Aug 6, 2008)

wolfeyes said:


> Thanks for the reply.
> 
> I don' think they talk about it, but it's just their reaction if I say I am not working today or something. Maybe I read into it a bit, but I have asked a few people closest to me and they said they do think I need to prepare myself for the real world or something to that effect.


To those people i'd like to give a big '**** you' middle finger with both hands. Sorry don't mean to sound aggressive, but seriously **** them. This is your life don't spend your life trying to impress mr 9-5 mon-fri sheep that thinks anything less is a disgrace.
Everyone has different prioritys in life, some people like to work themselves to death, others like to have more leisure time, your life is your life spend it how you please as long as you are not some sort of sponge (which you've said you're not) then work as you see fit.
Seriously i've come to this realization in my life, having wasted years of my life in miserable soul destroying thankless jobs with almost nothing to show for it, i used to think that it's important to contribute to society.
Now i say **** that, if you can survive without having to waste 40 hrs a week doing something you hate then more power to you. If you can organize your life so that you can have more free time to do what you'd rather be doing while still being able to put a roof over your head and food on the table, then follow that path.
Don't feel guilty about living a life that makes you more stress free and happier, you deserve happiness, just like i do.


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## petalpunk (Jan 5, 2013)

I know how you feel. I currently work a part-time job but lately have been feeling the pressure from family to get a full-time job. I don't even like what I am doing so working in this field full-time is definitely not something I want to do. My boss apparently really likes me and keeps telling me that she wants to offer me full-time and I keep telling her I will think about it. I just want to work part-time and then spend my leisure time on my hobby, photography, which is my true passion. I don't care to have so many material items, a big house, or fancy car and I do not want my life's goal to be acquiring loads of money. I just wish other people could understand that.


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## wolfeyes (Mar 30, 2011)

Thanks again for the replies. I'm glad a few people can relate, haha.


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## Lifeofanartist (Nov 11, 2003)

They are very jealous. Sounds like you have a good thing going.


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## allthatsparkles (Mar 1, 2013)

wolfeyes said:


> I haven't been on this forum in over a year. I've made some great improvements in different areas of my life, but lately find work challenging and wonder if anyone in this world can relate to me!?
> 
> I am fortunate to have a casual position, but I find it hard to work more than 3 days a week because of my Social Anxiety. I feel like people are very judgmental about it and that they aren't accepting of anything less than 4 or 5 days a week.
> 
> ...


If you make enough to live comfortably on a three day work week then don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Second, if you feel the need to work a five day work week, then you could look into jobs that allow teleworking (so you can work from home 1-2 days of the week) or organizations that allow alternate work schedules (so you work 10 hour days and then get one day off per week - I know a lot of federal govt. agencies have this option).


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

I don't work. I feel inferior to everyone else who does. When I have jobs I am exhausted and super depressed every day. I guess I rather feel pathetic than stressed out about work though.


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## zomgz (Aug 17, 2009)

I am exactly like you, OP. I work three days a week (sometimes two), but I don't want anymore than that. I'm not sure I could _handle_ more than that, honestly. I deal with people all day at my job, face to face, and it can be incredibly draining. I also require much more 'down time' than most people as I need time to recover from interaction.

Sometimes people give me crap about not working more too. Or at the very least they give off an air of annoyance that I _should_ be working more and why aren't I?

Then I also live simply and don't buy many things. When I do buy things I think about them for a while so I'm definitely not an impulse buyer. I don't get Starbucks coffees or fast food or junk food at all so that's a good chunk I don't need to spend. Truly and honestly the only thing I want right now in my life is a camera, but I will save up for that slowly and get it when I find a good deal.

I just try to remember whenever people give me a hard time about it, that I'm working less and have more of a life, lol.


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## PlayerOffGames (Mar 19, 2007)

the thought that im not as good as others cuz i didnt have a job used to bother me a lot but not so much anymore cuz i know now that thats not true...although id like to have a job one day...one where i dont have to talk a lot...maybe cleaning or giving people massages :b ...i took the first step last week by asking to be put in "ergotherapie"...i dont know the english word for that but its basically kindergarden for adults...we paint or play board games or colour in mandalas...stuff like that...ive tried going there before but i felt silly cuz it seemed pointless...but id really like to get my own place so i have to go...ill be starting soon and ill have to be there for 3 hours a day...baby steps


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## ToughUnderdog (Jul 7, 2013)

zomgz said:


> I am exactly like you, OP. I work three days a week (sometimes two), but I don't want anymore than that. I'm not sure I could _handle_ more than that, honestly. I deal with people all day at my job, face to face, and it can be incredibly draining. I also require much more 'down time' than most people as I need time to recover from interaction.
> 
> Sometimes people give me crap about not working more too. Or at the very least they give off an air of annoyance that I _should_ be working more and why aren't I?
> 
> ...


You pretty much put the nail on the head with my philosophy for work. I just don't understand the people that keep spinning the same hamster wheel working 60 hours a week for a BMW, a big house, and all the riches money can buy. It's okay to work to support your lifestyle and remain financially solvent, but putting out more time is beyond me.

Personally, I prefer having free time time to exercise, cook, and read. This is unfortunately missing in America: a work-life balance where people can be healthy. Luckily, we can move towards a job that will provide that balance.


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## ineverwipe (Jun 16, 2013)

Who cares what other people think. A job is a job, some people don't even have part time work. I work part time as well at 5 days a week.

It works just fine for my needs at the moment. Full time would be too stressful for me. I too need plenty of alone time to get through my day. Anxiety is tiring not to mention the work itself. You're working 8 hours a day, that's more than me.


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## Schmosby (Jan 26, 2014)

Working part time is pretty common these days, in most of the places I've worked, my staff have almost all been part time outside of management.


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