# Starting school three years late, will I feel awkward?



## Leary88 (Jun 6, 2010)

Thanks to a myriad of problems, including SA, lack of money, lack of motivation etc I've put off going to school for three years now. Actually to be honest I didn't even CONSIDER school up until this year for some reason, I kind of figured that I would get a lot of my other issues resolved first (mental health, get a job, learn to drive etc)... needless to say I was unable to meet any of my goals and ambitions. :|

Last fall I finished my final GED exam, as I dropped out of the alternative school I was attending at 18 (couldn't have graduated anyway) and pretty much lethargically did one test a time over the next few years. I actually originally intended to finish up all my tests and go to college in 2007 (I would have been right around the average freshman age) but my father passed away and that pretty much spiraled my depression out of control and lead to me just dropping out of life. I literally said "**** it" to my education for nearly two more years.


So now I'm a freshly-turned 22 year old with the mentality of any other freshman, I'm just a few years older, and that makes me feel awkward. Both because I don't particularly look like most freshman. I look my age, 22, not really older or younger. I'm a little overweight which I also wanted to address before going to college (I believe that's a big part of my anxiety, body/image issues) and didn't. I'm especially embarrassed about my appearance and age as I'm starting to realize that I'm inheriting my father's wonderful genes and starting to get a little bit of the ol' receding hairline. Yay, I'm gonna be a wrinkly, bald fatso by the time I graduate amongst all the fresh-faced 21 and 22 year old seniors in four years. :|

A lot of people have been telling me lately about how they have "older" people in their college classes. They all say, "Oh that's fine, we have someone who is 45 in our calculus class!" but the thing is I want to be viewed exactly the same as all the other students. I want to be able to make friends with people in the "traditional" college age group (18-22) as I really feel like I can relate to them more than older students. 

I realize I'm only a few years older than your "average" freshman, I'm still in that age group and I'm still living in that mentality, but I just FEEL old. I feel like I LOOK older. My skin isn't as good as it was when I was 18, my hair isn't as nice was it was when I was 18 and I just know that I feel older whenever I'm around people in their teens. I feel like other younger students are going to recognize the fact that I'm older than them and either make me feel alienated because they think I'm too old to socialize with, or make me feel like I'm supposed to act older and more mature than they are. I can only imagine someone potentially asking what I've done with my life since being out of school and having to answer, sheepishly, "nothin." 

My current game plan is community college in the fall, earn some credits and ultimately transfer to University. I want to be one of the few members of my family to actually attend a real University and graduate. It seems like an average-ish dream but I really want to make it happen before I really am too old for it to mean anything. But I also want to have the social life that I've cheated myself out of for the last few years. I've never been a partier obviously, but I would even love to attend a college party once or twice once I attend University, but I'm afraid by that point (I'll be 24 or 25 probably :\) I'll be too old. Do you think it's possible for me to fit in and be recognized as an average college student even if don't feel like one?

Thanks for reading, hope this is the right section! )


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## badjoke (Jun 4, 2010)

I'm 23 and just started back at college in the spring. I go to a community college and so far for my on campus classes most people have been around my age. Online classes trend a little older. You'd probably get a different age group at a regular university, but community colleges get more non traditional students because once you're older you can't access the sort of scholarships you can get right out of high school. Anyway, no, you definitely won't be the class geezer.


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## AidanPryde (Nov 11, 2009)

I was 22 when I started university and I didn't feel awkward at all. Most people assumed I was fresh out of high school just like them. 22 really isn't old enough to make you stand out, if you were in your late twenties maybe, but not your early twenties.


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## Lachlan (Jul 3, 2008)

Ive just started at a similar age to you, and have been going for a semester now. I live in, on campus with almost all 18 year olds in surrounding rooms etc. Funilly enough, i actually ascociate better with the 30year old students in my classes. I notice the difference with the younger students in there work attitudes. I guess i had sort of hoped that it would be like i had just made a straight transition and i wouldn't feel any differernt. Personally it hasn't turned out to feel like that, but in a good way. I realise how ive changed from when i was that age.
But thats form my perspective. I havnt felt anything form others perspective to indicate my age has any difference at all. no one cares. im not sure where you are, but im not in the USA though.


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## CeilingStarer (Dec 29, 2009)

Bah, you've got nothing to worry about. I was 24 in my final year of uni, and didn't feel out of place to anyone on campus. I looked my age too.

No youngin' is going to notice you as any different to them up to late 20's. Even then, you're not going to look out of place. Maybe when you're 30's+, but you'd be just as accepted anyway. Mature-age students are no minority.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

It took me 5 1/2 years to complete my degree (at three months shy of 24). I was in class with people in their 30s and 40s at the time, and even older. It doesn't matter. A degree is a degree.


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

If people don't socialize with you, it'll be because your self-doubts stopped you from being able to show the real you, when they were around. You would be taking your own thoughts, and placing them in the heads of every one you see, whether they were actually thinking that about you or not is irrelevant if you're thinking it for them.
If there is something you dislike about you, and you have the power to change it, then do so. If you can't change it, you better learn to accept it. If you have a dream, the first step is admitting you can do it. It's cake from there.


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## Leary88 (Jun 6, 2010)

Thanks guys, you reassured me a bit. I'm really stressed out today because I just realized today that the summer semester starts next week. I'm totally unprepared because I always intended to go in the fall, but a few weeks ago I learned of the summer semester and considered getting in there so I would at least be in school and have something to do over the summer.

But I'm thinking that it's basically impossible for me to enroll and be ready for school by next week. I don't have any money, clothes (just older crap I've been wearing for awhile now), I haven't seen an adviser or anything. 

So stressed and disappointed that I may have to wait ANOTHER three months, I can't imagine them being eventful.


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## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

Oh I beat you hands down.  First of all, it's fantastic you're doing this! And I agree, those people telling you about the 45 year olds (and older) are sooo not helpful. I'm 25 and I'll be taking first year physics in the fall. Last semester I was taking first year chemistry. It made my upper level courses look so much more appealing as to every person who sat around me I'd think, "I could have been your babysitter." But honestly, a ton of people go back to school. My friend who already has a BA decided she wants to be a doctor so she came back last year at the age of 26. You're not alone! And once you get into upper level courses the age differences are much less noticeable because you're getting a wider variety of people.


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

Don't worry about it..
There are lots of people in various ages at uni,some are younger and some are older.I wouldn't put you in the category of the older ones though.
I think you'll be just fine 

Good luck with your degree.


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## lyssado707 (Oct 29, 2004)

I'll be in till a week before i turn 24 (assuming i can make it through nxt yr ok lol). I don't have any tips about doing all the stereotypical college stuff (could never handle that w/my anxiety), but a lot of ppl in their mid 20s are still undergrads (lets face it. this school bs is hard. it's a struggle to get through lol).


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

the cheat said:


> If people don't socialize with you, it'll be because your self-doubts stopped you from being able to show the real you, when they were around. You would be taking your own thoughts, and placing them in the heads of every one you see, whether they were actually thinking that about you or not is irrelevant if you're thinking it for them.
> If there is something you dislike about you, and you have the power to change it, then do so. If you can't change it, you better learn to accept it. If you have a dream, the first step is admitting you can do it. It's cake from there.


This is correct.
To be honest, you will have an advantage....MATURITY. :wink


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## Leary88 (Jun 6, 2010)

Hey guys, I abandoned this thread a bit, not sure why. I think I forgot I had made it. 

It's been almost a month and I'm in no better shape than I was last month when it comes to this college thing. I'm so stressed out and just terrified of school that I almost don't want to go back. I'm going to, I know I have to, but I just can't even imagine coping with the pressure and trying to "fit in".

What you said Cabecita really rings true for me too. Once I no longer had the responsibility of going to school I totally went into "hide mode". And the weird thing is, I was perfectly fine with it. It was only this year that I started getting sick of it and wanted more out of life.

I'm so afraid of being the older guy at school. And I know I won't technically won't be, but I assume that the age group I would relate to most (18-20ish) would consider me the older guy. I can't even put into words how much I regret not going back even one year ago. Two would have been perfect. But three? Ugh, I practically hate myself for delaying this so much.

I also don't really look young. I mean, in some respects I do, but I can tell from my genes that I only have a few years left of actually looking youthful. I'm not ugly, but I can see my skin changing, my hair changing etc. What am I gonna do when I'm in my mid 20s, still in college and I LOOK older in addition to feeling so much older? 

All I keep telling myself is, "You had nothing else going on two years ago, why didn't you go? You were sitting around all day last year and you could have gone, why didn't you?" I torture myself with this. To the point where I feel like I'm going to sabotage myself when I actually do go back.

Sorry for bumping this but I had no idea that up until last week it was still active. I appreciate all the posts, I really do.


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## soulsins (May 14, 2008)

Your still really young, Im that old person sitting in class next to you. It took me until my late thirties to get up the nerve to go and I do mostly online classes. Real class, freaks me out but its getting better somedays. Its a struggle but I wish when I was twenty-two I had started. 
It will not get easier, the more time that passes and blending is the key so just hold your breath and go for it.


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## Dorian (Jul 8, 2010)

Im 32 and I just started college again. Its not a big deal. If you want you can always lie abut your age so you feel better. Thats what I do and it works!


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## The Agonist (Aug 11, 2010)

I found this thread while Googling for similar problems ... and noticed it was a support forum for people with social anxiety disorder! is that a coincidence or what?? I'm 24 and I quit college after 3 weeks when I was 18. I've suffered from social anxiety for years and it's hard for me to make new friends and acquaintances and when I do, it's hard for me to keep it up because of what I call my 'weirdness'. Anyhow my anxiety is kicking in full force because I'm due to start college classes in 6 days. Things have changed, I'm a mom these days, about to end a terrible marriage and I've gotten better mentally since my high school days, but that's probably ONLY because I've been taken away from a huge source of social anxiety. Now I'm about to be placed back in to it! I'm worried about it being like high school all over again, when I was so anti-social (in the colloquial sense of the word) that I could never bring myself to do partner activities or speak in front of the class and how even walking down the hallway was a crisis for me! And people always thought I was rude and even mean because I could barely interact with them other than my small little circle of friends.

Since becoming an adult, things have become easier and I've become somewhat more friendlier, but I'm still 'shy', and the same old anxiety is cropping up and I don't know what's going to happen in my classes!

Long story short (lol), I feel your pain, original poster.


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## sparkationsgirl (Oct 25, 2008)

I finished school 3 years later, heh. Well anyway, now that I'm almost 25, I feel like I've lagged behind in life. I hate the fact that other people my age are living on their own, and I'm still at home and everything.


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## mismac (Oct 27, 2005)

If I had to do it over again, I would've waited until I was older and emotionally ready to go to university.

I did university because it was the "next" thing to do after high school...I didn't value the experience at all!


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

I think college is where the emotional training wheels come off. I started college early at 17 and on the ten year plan. i dont think it matters how old youre but being too old with a degree their is no point. imo


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## conjectural (Sep 29, 2009)

I just have to say that this thread has been a huge comfort to me. I'm twenty and I'm withdrawing my university application this week. I was supposed to start this year, but considering the state that I'm in at the moment, I know in my heart that I'm not ready to throw myself into something as huge as college just yet. I plan on going next year, at which point I'll be twenty-one, and although I'm certain my decision is the right one, I can't help feeling I'm further wasting my life -- like when I'm just starting university, and just beginning to meet people and have a social life, everyone else will be lightyears ahead of me socially. Anyway, I'm just relieved to know there are others in similar situations.


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## Belshazzar (Apr 12, 2010)

There are a lot of non-traditional students going back to school nowadays, especially with the economy the way it is.

Also, people probably won't even notice considering that you're 22. I recently finished a summer session course. There were a couple of guys that were 26 and 27. I thought they looked my age -- I didn't even realize they were 4 or 5 years older than me until they said so.


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