# Kind of scared of my therapist



## katnip43 (Jul 10, 2009)

I recently had to switch from a sliding scale clinic where I was seeing a very good (and VERY understanding) therapist to a therapist at the VA. I don't know what it is but I dread going to see her. I've been twice so far and I have an appt tomorrow which I am totally dreaded. I know part of the fear is the SA, but she can come off as kind of "abrasive" almost even rude. Especially compared to my old therapist. I know I can request a new therapist but I hate to do this because I'm in the middle of applying for disability and I need to be able to have enough continuance (is that a word) with doctors so that they can get to know me enough to write a good letter to Social Security on my behalf.

Anyone else experience anxiety and apprehension before you see you therapist? Should I request another one?


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## contranigma (Jun 24, 2009)

I think you should like your therapist, so getting another one is probably a good idea.


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## contranigma (Jun 24, 2009)

by the way, why don't you like New Mexico (assumption because of the "Albucrappy)? I'm thinking of moving there when I can finally get out of school and away from Kansas


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## katnip43 (Jul 10, 2009)

contranigma said:


> by the way, why don't you like New Mexico (assumption because of the "Albucrappy)? I'm thinking of moving there when I can finally get out of school and away from Kansas


How ironic - I moved from KS, well KCMO actually to here. Why do I hate it?

1) the heat - it may be a "dry heat" but it is oppressive and there aren't many shade trees here
2) the sun - it is out CONSTANTLY which just makes the heat worse. Since I moved here my manias have manifested themselves into nothing but anger, rage, and irritability.
3) The weather in general. It's like the movie "Ground Hog Day". You wake up everyone morning and it's pretty much the same SUNNY and HOT.
4) mostly because of the way I ended up here. I got so depressed and couldn't even leave my apt in KC; my Mom was concerned so, in a nutshell she had me move out here because she was worried about me and all. Even if I wasn't ill and had a good job I would have never picked the desert as a place to live. All the architecture is this fake adobe looking stuff and everything is BROWN. In other words you don't see brick houses or ones with siding they all look the same.

I suppose if you like the heat and the sun it would work for you. I just can't tolerate it. It saps what little energy I have right out of me. Today it got up to 100 degrees without a cloud in site. All I did today was go to the VA for my therapis appt and just walking to and from the car about killed me.

I've decided that with my hatred of heat and sunshine, I should move to Seattle..


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## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

If she is abrasive I would look for another one, and think you are going to get your disability a little later. I can't see how someone who is burned out and selfish is going to be much help to you.


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## KindredSpirit (Sep 30, 2008)

*New Mexico*

Hi there Katnip,

I think you should definetely request a new therapist.
It's kinda funny how you described New Mexico, because Phoenix, Arizona is the same way.
I can't wait to move back to the East Coast.


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## katnip43 (Jul 10, 2009)

Well I had another visit with my therapist and this time it went a lot better. I think in my mind I was making out what seemed to be abrasiveness just being up front. If that makes sense. I don't know how to explain it. I think sometimes because of my SA and other issues I seem to make mountains out of molehills. She's not the "motherly" type of therapist like my other one but she listens and makes suggestions and asks questions that really make me think. Such as where I thought my low self esteem issues come from and stuff like that. I still see my other therapist, just not as often because my Mom has been footing the bill and the VA is free.

Anyway, thanks everyone for your comments/suggestions. I'm just going to try to keep putting one foot in front of the other...


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## katnip43 (Jul 10, 2009)

KindredSpirit said:


> Hi there Katnip,
> 
> I think you should definetely request a new therapist.
> It's kinda funny how you described New Mexico, because Phoenix, Arizona is the same way.
> I can't wait to move back to the East Coast.


You and me both. I haven't checked the weather lately but Phoenix must be in the 100s if we're in the 90's. I haven't even been outside in the last three days it's been so hot.


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## KindredSpirit (Sep 30, 2008)

*114 degrees*

The average high here has been 114 degrees. The whole reason I moved out here was because of The Social Anxiety Institute. I got an apartment and signed a one year lease back in May. I have 10 more months of living in he**. and then I'm outa here.
I might leave sooner if the penalty fee isn't too high.



katnip43 said:


> You and me both. I haven't checked the weather lately but Phoenix must be in the 100s if we're in the 90's. I haven't even been outside in the last three days it's been so hot.


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## jocekortan (Jul 30, 2009)

I saw you request a new therapist, if she isn't helping you feel better, a change needs to be made I reckon.


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## Patrick Bateman (Jun 5, 2009)

I understand what you are going through, my friend. I used to have a psychiatrist who I was _terrified_ of. He was actually a well-known TV doctor here in Britain; and his arrogance and ego were obvious from the moment I met him. He was a _bully,_ there is no other word for it, and he belittled me non-stop during our appointments. There is no doubt that seeing him actually worsened my problems.

Thankfully, he took a new TV-job after a few months and did not have the time to see me any more. The next psychiatrist I saw was lovely, intelligent and understanding, and I started to make progress.

Bad therapists and bad psychiatrists do exist and do practice; if you think that you are with one, get away from them as quickly as you can and do not put anything important (such as your source of income) in their hands.

I wish you the very best, my friend. Take good care of yourself.


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## RockiNToM (Jun 15, 2009)

Don't bother seeing people you don't like, it just simply doesn't help. You are seeing them to feel / get better not worse. I've had a similar experience, don't let it get you down, there are other more worthy people seeing out there.


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