# Very awkward conversation with a girl



## Plasma (Aug 6, 2013)

Today was one of the most embarrassing days of the entire year of 2013, I had a extremely awkward conversation with one of the attractive girls at my school. This girl surprisingly had a crush on me, she would show pretty much a lot of the signs. So I decided to go up to her today to ask her if we had any homework, and when I said that she gave me like this warm smile that made me stutter my sentence a little. She explained that we didn't which was good to know anyways, so then I just casually said "how do you like the school so far?", and she said she liked it. And I just said "are you joining any sports this year?", and she just simply said "yeah". ...and then I locked up, my whole brain just shut off and I didn't even know what I could say, so I just said "ahh, I forgot what I was about to say!" and she laughed with me a little which helped the awkwardness of the conversation tone down a lot more. So I just said "k well see ya later" and she laughed and said bye. I walked out of that school so sick, like what just happened. I had so much to say and I just locked completely up, letting my anxiety take over my thoughts and preventing me from saying anything more. I just wanted to be nice and casual with this girl, hoping to create a friendship, but it turned into an awkward mess of a conversation. I don't even wan't to go to school tomorrow seeing that girl knowing what happened the day before. You guys ever experienced this? :|


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Yes, most people (SA or not) have experienced stuff like this at some point or another...

Sounds like you need some practice talking to girls.

Suggestion: Any time you see a girl (*any girl*, regardless of attraction or what have you) and there's an opening to talk to her, then *talk to her*. About anything. The weather, school, homework, a teacher, other students - whatever. Just talk to girls for the sole purpose of talking. The more you do it, the more comfortable you (should) get with it, and you should reach a point where you can talk to a 'crush' in a... less awkward manner.

And for that day when you talk to a girl you're interested in... If you know you're going to be talking to her, try warming up your social skills (like you would your muscles) beforehand. Talk to *anyone* about *anything*. Do that, and it should make you a little looser when you go to talk to this girl.


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## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

Oh man, I feel for you. I've definitely had some awkward moments with pretty girls. I wouldn't say it's over, because if you're going to be able to bounce back tomorrow, I bet she won't think a lot about what happened today. I know you probably feel incredibly anxious talking to her, but if you want to have any chances of developing any kind of a relationship with her, you need to act as if nothing awkward happened. Think of some casual questions to ask her tomorrow, if you get a chance to talk to her, preferably in a place where there aren't a lot of people, practice them in front of the mirror. It sounds like she might really like you, so just go in and don't overthink everything, if she likes you, you're good enough for her.


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## Plasma (Aug 6, 2013)

The thing was I had it all planned out (like what I was going to say) and it all flopped. I think it's because of my aching hand I formed while writing two papers of full paragraphs of the canadian definitions during geography. Haha, maybe I'll just go up to her tomorrow and just apologize for yesterday explaining I couldn't think straight because of my aching hand. I don't know, what do you think.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Plasma said:


> The thing was I had it all planned out (like what I was going to say) and it all flopped.


I don't really buy into the whole "planned conversation" deal. I've tried that before, and it just. doesn't. go. as planned.

Plus if you plan it ahead of time, then you're probably spending too much time thinking about what you're going to say next, instead of actively listening to what she says and responding based on that.



Plasma said:


> maybe I'll just go up to her tomorrow and just apologize for yesterday explaining I couldn't think straight because of my aching hand. I don't know, what do you think.


Talk to her, for sure, but don't apologize for yesterday. Personally, I wouldn't even reference it


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## Andres124 (Oct 23, 2012)

It's happened to me a couple of times with girls. But I try not to over think it, because then I start to remember the awkward moments.


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## 0180917 (Jun 2, 2013)

This has happened to me several times before. I absolutely hate that feeling when you REALIZE your mind is going blank--that "oh sh*t, this is actually happening for real" feeling. These kinds of situations, sadly, do not encourage one to seek out starting conversations with girls in the future...


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## Dubbi (Aug 26, 2013)

Yeah, and now, due to all my past fiascos, I have too much anxiety to initiate a conversation with a girl...


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## Nkiruka (Aug 30, 2009)

It didn't sound very awkward, at least not in a bad way- if a guy did that to me, I'd think it was cute (in a totally manly way!) and probably want to talk to him again, especially if I liked him. You haven't ruined your chances or anything like that.


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## Bikini Condom (Sep 10, 2013)

I feel you bro I freeze up time to time as well.Its because Im not that socially active and can only talk about real world issues not teen gossip.


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

I don't think u messed up that bad, just try talking to her again...


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## YOSUP315 (Sep 3, 2013)

Seriously, get over yourself! You're human and have the right to screw up and be too nerves to do anything as much as you d***-well please. Should you choose to make her your girlfriend, you can bet that won't be the last time you screw something up. So what?
It sounds like that girl really does like you, probably all she can remember is that you took the time to talk to her. She's just waiting for you to drop all the bull and ask her out already.


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## Plasma (Aug 6, 2013)

For the record, maybe it wasn't all that awkward at all, above anything she might have found it cute. But I still feel sick from it; but I guess you're right YOSUP315, it's bound to happen to every guy (and already has to some I hear).


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## FunkyFedoras (Aug 30, 2013)

I feel like it also sounded like she wasn't exactly helping the situation o.o 
I'm sure it's okay and you'll do better next time! I totally relate, I always know what I'm gonna say and have topics planned then completely go blank face to face.


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## BigBlueMoon (Feb 7, 2013)

I've heard of much worse screw-ups than that. Given the general fair-weather nature of the conversation, I would say that she still has a pretty neutral view of you. Try not to get too worked up about it.


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## fr3t (Mar 27, 2011)

Dude! You did fine. It sounds like she's still interested.

Just don't put her on a pedestal. She's just a girl 

It's harder to talk to girls when you focus too much on how cute they are. 

You have to kind of tone down your feelings towards her a bit and focus on who she is as a person, but at the same time give her the opportunity to get to know YOU. Don't be afraid to connect and don't give yourself a hard time. 

Remember this: It's hard for anyone to think of things to say when they have too much pressure on them. Keep it relaxed.

Some tips: Conversation I've learned is like a different headspace. You just have to let it come. Don't plan a conversation, feel it out. Try walking and talking with her after class. It takes a lot of the pressure off. Keep cool, and don't panic. Words will come. Focus on enjoying her company and she'll enjoy yours. 

I find that whenever I feel like something is going to completely crash and burn is when I do the best.

Try to find out what she's interested in and find things in common that you can talk about. The key is to get her comfortable around you and for you to get comfortable around her. It should be mutual.

Also, you shouldn't be afraid to be who you are around someone. As long as you're confident in who you are, you'll find people who have similar personalities to you - even girls. They just want to be themselves, too.


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## Plasma (Aug 6, 2013)

Sorry to necro, just want to give an update. It is my thread after all.

We don't talk anymore after that incident, I would say bye to her after school then and there, but that stopped like two weeks after the incident. I really thought to myself why doesn't this girl say bye to me after all the days I said bye to her? In the class I have with her, I would see her stare at me now and then, like even recently she did a couple days ago. What does this girl even want? To be chased after? Attention? If you don't try, then I shouldn't have tried; And if you don't care, then I shouldn't have cared. I know girls aren't the ones to make the moves but come on. 

She talks to other guys now that are popular and athletic so I guess I should just leave her alone. I'm not good enough for her anyways, I'm not even socially capable.


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## nothing else (Oct 27, 2013)

No never experienced this before. No girl has ever liked me in that way. It's hard to create awkward moments out of thin air when nobody is attracted to you in the first place. 

But I wouldn't worry, I'm sure it wasn't enough to deter her completely.


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## masterridley (Jan 20, 2007)

Plasma said:


> Sorry to necro, just want to give an update. It is my thread after all.
> 
> We don't talk anymore after that incident, I would say bye to her after school then and there, but that stopped like two weeks after the incident. I really thought to myself why doesn't this girl say bye to me after all the days I said bye to her? In the class I have with her, I would see her stare at me now and then, like even recently she did a couple days ago. What does this girl even want? To be chased after? Attention? If you don't try, then I shouldn't have tried; And if you don't care, then I shouldn't have cared. I know girls aren't the ones to make the moves but come on.
> 
> She talks to other guys now that are popular and athletic so I guess I should just leave her alone. I'm not good enough for her anyways, I'm not even socially capable.


I'm not saying this ex post facto, but it's pretty obvious from your first post
that you should not put girls so high on the pedestal. For example, you say
that you screwed up but I don't see any evidence for it. You asked her if she
liked the school so far, she said yes, then you asked her if she's joining any
sports, which is a completely open-ended type question and she just replies yes???

What the ****? Guys do make the moves but that reply couldn't be any more
colder, it's like she wanted to kill the conversation. So I'm not saying that
she did it on purpose, she may have locked up herself. But in no way, was
that a failure on your part, ok?

So stop accusing yourself and go try your skills on some other girls that will
be more receptive. Don't get caught up in one-itis, yahearmenow?


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## Plasma (Aug 6, 2013)

masterridley said:


> you asked her if she's joining any
> sports, which is a completely open-ended type question and she just replies yes???
> 
> What the ****? Guys do make the moves but that reply couldn't be any more
> ...


I thought that too, she could have expanded *way* more than just replying with "yeah", like she could have said like "well, I'm taking this and I might sign up for this as well" but I guess not. I don't know, maybe she did lock up like I did after all. :stu


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## wherecanigo (Oct 31, 2013)

was she laughing with you or at you? sounds to me like she picked up on your shyness and thought it was cute. You could probably approach her again. If she was laughing more at you, sort of like, this guys fking weird, well then leave her alone. 

As beta as it is if i know im going to approach a girl I always have 3-4 in the back of my mind to say/ask just incase that situation happens where im feeling awkward and have no idea what to say. 

Even if you did **** up guess what, you gave it a shot. Now you potentially looked stupid to some random girl. Did your heart stop beating? Did it give you cancer? You're fine. Next time you have class with her when you walk in maybe give her a subtle smile and her response will tell you how she feels. Imagine if you felt that stupid every single day of your life.


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## Plasma (Aug 6, 2013)

wherecanigo said:


> was she laughing with you or at you? sounds to me like she picked up on your shyness and thought it was cute. You could probably approach her again. If she was laughing more at you, sort of like, this guys fking weird, well then leave her alone.
> 
> Even if you did **** up guess what, you gave it a shot. Now you potentially looked stupid to some random girl. Did your heart stop beating? Did it give you cancer? You're fine. Next time you have class with her when you walk in maybe give her a subtle smile and her response will tell you how she feels. Imagine if you felt that stupid every single day of your life.


She was more laughing with me in a sense of my shyness. There's no way I can approach her now, especially with my SA. And yeah, you know what, I did give it a shot. Who cares if I did screw up, I'm sure many people like me have experienced this. Maybe I will give her a subtle smile, but I'd rather start fresh with her in the future.


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## Brandeezy (Dec 23, 2009)

Highly doubt she'll remember what happened if she has a crush on you


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## inerameia (Jan 26, 2012)

You had an awkward moment, but at least it wasn't too weird. She probably thought it was cute. You handled it well despite the anxiety. I've experienced much worse than that.


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## South Keys (Nov 6, 2013)

Well, you can't really expect the relationship to continue if all you do is say "bye" to each other. She probably thought that you weren't interested in her at all and moved on because you didn't do much after that short, insignificant conversation.


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## Plasma (Aug 6, 2013)

I guess so. There wasn't much to say after that incident (at least that I could think of).


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## Iwantham (Sep 7, 2013)

My GF has more social anxiety than me so almost every single convo we have is 2x as awkward as what OP descried. She always answers open ended questions with stuff like "I guess...", "No..." "Yes..." etc.

But that doesn't mean she doesn't like me...she's just unsure in social situations. Especially public ones.

What I'm getting at OP is that if you really like this girl, you will put your SA aside and just go for it...yes this has been said 74868872788884787774.2 times but how else are you going to succeed?

You just have to laugh those moments off mate. No girl that actually likes you will care about crap like that, she might even like you cause of it. You never know!


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## Ammmy (Oct 16, 2013)

wow this is my whole life summed up. horrifically awkward conversations.


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## NeverendingCycle (Oct 14, 2013)

You're blowing this so far out of proportion, you're going to the Moon and back. From what you wrote, that conversation was barely awkward. If you would have gone to school the next day and talked to her again, it would have been like nothing ever happened.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

If i imagine it in my head, it didnt sound bad at all. You should be proud. It takes guts to talk to a girl.


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## Plasma (Aug 6, 2013)

> You're blowing this so far out of proportion, you're going to the Moon and back. From what you wrote, that conversation was barely awkward. If you would have gone to school the next day and talked to her again, it would have been like nothing ever happened.


In the moment, it felt like the biggest screw up ever and had no choice but to spill my current feelings out to the sas forums. I hope you understand; I now see that it really wasn't that much of a screw up and actually something to smile about.


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## Plasma (Aug 6, 2013)

Well, something happened just recently, and this may take a little to explain so if you're up for a little story please, keep reading, I need some advice for a SA person like me. About a week ago, I brought in my leather jacket into school to wear since it looks nice in it (literally everywhere I go I get complimented for it). Me and her have math class together and after the class ended, I turned around to grab my backpack and I saw her from across the room just staring at me with her head down like I was a piece of fresh steak or something. So I thought nothing about it after that day since we've drifted away. But on the next day she started staring at me again, this time it was when I turned around to talk to my friend. She basically was trying to sneak stare (like put her hands in front of her face and just kind of stare). Later that day on her twitter she started posting pictures of her in a leather jacket and re-tweeting things such as "want you to want me", I thought hmmmm, is this about me or something? The next day nothing happened but the same thing. But on thursday, I was extremely late for class and I when I wen't into the class, she was on the computer with her back facing me. The teacher called out my name and started blabbering why I was late and that, but she turned around to look at me which no one else in the room did and just looked down like she was disappointed or something. She had her leather jacket on as well, which was the same exact one she had on in that picture. After school when I was walking out of the school I saw her with her friends and guy friends, I looked straight down at my hands and started to crack them since i'm not one for staring, and when I looked up at her she had her head straight down, seeming to completely ignore what her friends were saying. Afterwords on her twitter, she started re-tweeting multiple things such as "it's always the worst when you like someone but they don't care about you one bit" and "the fact I can't have you, makes me wan't you more". That I guess was my signal that this girl does really wan't me, but how can someone like me go with an extremely pretty girl like her? On friday she just completely ignored me, which I expected her to do. Now today, something big happened, we have this after school math class together with multiple other people to get help for our upcoming exams in january, and she was sitting two desks behind me talking with three other of her guy friends. Around 5 mintues before it was time to go, I wen't up to grab a drink and when I came back in, one of her guy friends mentioned a thing that happened a long time ago (it was some stupid rant I did), and they all started laughing and she did as well but she turned around at me (since I just walked into the room and hadn't sat down yet) and started smiling at me and me and her held the gaze for two seconds. Let me tell you, for a SA person like me, it was something I never really experienced before, quite a feeling to stare someone deep in the eyes, but she broke the gaze. She started sticking up for me saying like "yeah his rant was really good!" which made me pretty happy since everyone else thought it was pretty retarded haha. Afterwords I wen't up to her and asked her about the math we had, like if she finished any of the questions, and she started shaking like crazy, twistng her hands and responded with "uhhhhmm.....I d-don't know!" and laughed awkwardly, I just kind of laughed since I really was feeling the same feeling as she was, nervousness, but one of her guy friends helped me out. When we got out of the class and waited to get picked up from our parents, she was sitting with a guy friend of her's and there was this annoying group of girls who walked up to me and started saying things such as "I love you!" and "can I have a hug?!", and I just said to them no go away. And they just walked out saying "I love you -name-!" and I said to them "yeah, hate you too!!". So anyway, that was really bad timing that happened because I don't wan't the girl to get the wrong idea because that is the kind of **** I avoid as much as possible but it always seems to happen at the _worst_ times. I asked them if they were getting picked up and the guy friend said yes and the girl just responded with "yes" and they just stopped talking, and I just said "well, I'm just waiting for my mom, she always takes so long"; the girl didn't say anything as she was on her phone texting but the guy friend was like "yeah, my mom smokes all day so she won't be coming". The girl got up and decided she would just walk home, and I said "bye -name-" and she said bye as well. What was weird though was that I didn't feel nervous at all, I felt like I've talked to these people tons of times. Later on, she tweeted herself something like "I always wan't what I can't have", and she tweeted this right after this whole thing happened. I thought I hope she doesn't have the wrong idea because those group of girls nagged me, thinking I was dating one of them or something. I don't know why she would tweet something like that when I'm completely open to her, what does this exactly mean anyway and why would she tweet this? Quite a day I must say...


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

Plasma said:


> Today was one of the most embarrassing days of the entire year of 2013, I had a extremely awkward conversation with one of the attractive girls at my school. This girl surprisingly had a crush on me, she would show pretty much a lot of the signs. So I decided to go up to her today to ask her if we had any homework, and when I said that she gave me like this warm smile that made me stutter my sentence a little. She explained that we didn't which was good to know anyways, so then I just casually said "how do you like the school so far?", and she said she liked it. And I just said "are you joining any sports this year?", and she just simply said "yeah". ...and then I locked up, my whole brain just shut off and I didn't even know what I could say, so I just said "ahh, I forgot what I was about to say!" and she laughed with me a little which helped the awkwardness of the conversation tone down a lot more. So I just said "k well see ya later" and she laughed and said bye. I walked out of that school so sick, like what just happened. I had so much to say and I just locked completely up, letting my anxiety take over my thoughts and preventing me from saying anything more. I just wanted to be nice and casual with this girl, hoping to create a friendship, but it turned into an awkward mess of a conversation. I don't even wan't to go to school tomorrow seeing that girl knowing what happened the day before. You guys ever experienced this? :|


actually reading this back again and from the way u described it (im not a girl obviously) seemed like u had a little bit of an endearing quality to ur awkwardness and its very possible that she thought it was cute....i say try talking to her again


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## brooke_brigham (Nov 28, 2013)

Plasma said:


> The thing was I had it all planned out (like what I was going to say) and it all flopped. I think it's because of my aching hand I formed while writing two papers of full paragraphs of the canadian definitions during geography. Haha, maybe I'll just go up to her tomorrow and just apologize for yesterday explaining I couldn't think straight because of my aching hand. I don't know, what do you think.


NO! Dont do that.

Play it off like it never happened. It doesnt sound anywhere near as bad as you think it did. I think you tried to force conversation and thats why it didnt flow. Ask her an open ended question instead of yes or no questions.


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## brooke_brigham (Nov 28, 2013)

whoops nevermind Im too late. Ok advice #2 can you find out through the grapevine if she has someone she likes (referring to the Tweets). If you are not who's she's tweeting about you might be in for a fall.


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## Plasma (Aug 6, 2013)

blue_blue said:


> whoops nevermind Im too late. Ok advice #2 can you find out through the grapevine if she has someone she likes (referring to the Tweets). If you are not who's she's tweeting about you might be in for a fall.


This whole line of tweets started just last week, nothing before that.


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## realitysucks (Jan 18, 2013)

Go for it ffs


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## Bellatrix55 (Dec 10, 2013)

This wasn't even your fault. It sounds like she was nervous and didn't have anything to say either. Besides, this happens to pretty much everyone with or without SA. This really isn't something most girls (or at least any worth your time) will get bothered by. She will forget about by tomorrow.


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## Solidify (Jul 29, 2013)

Just Lurking said:


> Sounds like you need some practice talking to girls.


I beg to differ.

I think you did well OP. You approached her on your own, despite feeling anxious. Also, not only did you initiate the conversation, but when it was about to go dry, you were able to stimulate a new topic about her joining sports. You did very well and guess what, you got a smile out of it. And despite it not having gone as well as you'd have wanted it to go, you did manage to approach her. At the end of the day, she will remember you. You wanna know why? Because you make the conscious decision to go over there and speak to her.

Rome wasn't built in a day. You laid down the foundation. Next time you see her, just strike up another conversation with her about whatever you'd like to talk about. There's no need to think about what is an appropriate conversation. Before going over there, think to yourself: what would I like to know about this girl that I already don't? Then go over there and ease into it. And if something awkward happens like the last encounter, don't stress about it. Try this technique that I do in which I try to leave my physical body and get an altitude on me and the girl talking. If I'd have seen me standing there will nothing left to say, I'd have just laughed it off and said "Oh, well this awkward" or "Alright then! And that's my cue, have a good day!".


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## 000XXX000 (Dec 1, 2013)

talk about how you both wear leather. from everything you have said, you have no excuse to not ask her out.


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