# is anyone else sick and tired of being alone?



## Karla (Dec 26, 2005)

Ok, so i tried the whole single thing, loved it, lived it, tired of it. ready to move on. It wasn't so bad during freshman year cause back then no one was a couple. Everyone was single so i didn't feel so left out. now, it's "oh i'm hanging out with the bf tonight" or "my bf is the best!" or "i love him, he did the cutest thing today!". Ok, i admit it i'm insanely jealous of those people couples. 

i can't even get a date and i know people who switch bf's every week it seems. how are they doing this?! where do you go to meet people? screw meeting people, i've met enough, now how do i get a date? to be honest, i don't even want a date, i just want a bf. 

to those that tell me, the best is yet to come, i say lets see you wait! i've honestly had enough. am i going to be single my entire life? i don't want that at all. i'm so desperate i'm thinking up the most random people as possiblities when in reality they have nothing to do with anything!!!!!!!

GGGRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

i just want a boy  :cry :cuddle :love :rub :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :sigh


----------



## Guest (Nov 7, 2006)

I've been single my whole life and, yes, I'm sick of it.


----------



## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

It straight up just makes me angry. My friend told me yesterday that this girl he is friends with couldn't go home because it was too late, so she slept in his bed, but they didn't do anything. All I could think of then is "I don't care!!!!!", and this is just one of the girls that likes him. He's got a fan club, it seems, ever since he broke up with his g/f. It just makes me sick, and not only because I am jealous. I'm really not into the girls that much. Not my type. I just think it's so silly the way he talks to them. I'll go over to his house and watch him talk on IM to them. ??? I mean, I love the guy, but come on. He'll just sit there and be flirty and joke with them. This is the big thing in his life now, I guess. I think what pisses me off the most about it is the fact that it reminds me of how different I am from everyone... the way he interacts with them, flirts, jokes, and just how he is able to even be friends with them. And they could really care less about me, but maybe that is because I don't talk to them. I have nothing to say, really.


----------



## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

daaaaave said:


> I've been single my whole life and, yes, I'm sick of it.


:ditto
I want a relationship badly but the whole concept of dating and relationships is so foreign to me I don't know where to begin or if its even possible at all at my age :sigh


----------



## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

Lonelyguy said:


> I want a relationship badly but the whole concept of dating and relationships is so foreign to me I don't know where to begin or if its even possible at all at my age :sigh


Yes I know what you mean. I've over 40 and never had (never been able to because of my SA) a date. So the entire relationship concept is also foreign to me and even though I think I can possibly handle it now, I don't know if it is even possible for someone my age that has never been in a relationship.

As Karla says, us singles feel so left out. It's like everyone has a BF or GF except us. I don't understand how people get into a relationship so easily. It's almost like whenever they want to get into a relationship, or even just a date, they just snap their fingers and "POOF!", instant GF/BF. It's almost like they can just place an order and the person is there waiting for them. You hear about it all the time and read about it on the internet all the time: Someone breaks up with another person, they then decide they want to get into another relationship and then almost instantly, "Poof" - they're in another relationship. It's like I said, they seem to almost order it up like it was nothing. And the thing about it is... a lot of these people that can get into relationships a lot of times are jerks and scumbags (applies to both men and women). Of course not all of them are, but a lot of them are.

Then there are people like us. Nice people who can't even get into ONE relationship - or even one date. We see other people easily get dates like it was nothing and here we are going years and not even really getting close to finding someone. It just doesn't seem fair.

Lifetimer


----------



## Woody (Nov 16, 2003)

...


----------



## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

i dont like being single either but i dont know where to meet women. i have no problem approaching someone _if_ there is a common interest. but that rarely happens


----------



## GTI79 (Feb 2, 2004)

Can i just copy and paste what you said, just changing all the b/f's to g/f's?

*sigh*


----------



## IndigoGirl (Aug 13, 2006)

I don't want to stay single as well. I'm really alone and wish I had company. I don't think there is an age limit on relationships at all, that's for sure. I used to like being alone, now it's getting to the point where I realize how much I need the connection, how much it would help me improve as a person, I mean with confidence, though that originates from within, forming relationships helps it grow and be stable, too.


----------



## kevS (Dec 24, 2003)

I don't know if I would know what to do sexually now anyway.I've never had much of a sex drive.Its weird that almost the whole world treats their first kiss/partner and all the other things that go with it like going out on dates and holidays for granted,unaware than many people never experience any of it at all.My whole youth was about sitting in my bedroom watching TV.The only thing I really miss now is companionship.


----------



## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

I feel the same way. I don't want to date.. I want to skip all of that. I've come to simply accept that I'm far too crazy to have a boyfriend. I could hide the crazy for a few months, but it would all come gushing out sooner or later and devour him. I wouldn't, literally, _eat_ him. I'm not _that_ crazy, but how "eccentric" I am would overwhelm anyone.


----------



## lc28 (Aug 13, 2005)

I don't know where to meet girls either, but I assume I won't anytime soon since I don't get out much outside of work. 

But yeah, I'm not interested in the whole "dating" thing either. I don't really like finding out I'm boring yet again.


----------



## cakesniffer (Nov 11, 2003)

I'd love it if I could just skip to the "I have a boyfriend" stage. Dating sounds scary, and kind of impossible for me.


----------



## LastChild (Jul 27, 2006)

I feel the same as the rest of you :|


----------



## quiet_one (Jun 14, 2006)

Oh I know what you mean; I'm almost to the point now where I'm willing to settle for a guy whom I don't have much in common with just because I'm so sick of being single; I'm starting to think it's far better than being alone.


----------



## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

I quite like being alone, actually. It's fine.


----------



## green and lonely (May 29, 2006)

You can add me to the list as well. I haven't been in a relationship since April of 1994 (and doesn't that sound like a _really_ long time ago?), and I'm beyond sick of it. It's been ages since I've been able to even feel any hope. I must say that it's nice to read posts like Woody's.  Sometimes it's hard for me to remember it, but my life really isn't over yet, even if I act like it is. I suppose what's really frightening is just how easy it is to give up completely. I've been freaking out about turning 30 (I really didn't think I would, but I am!), especially since both of my (younger!) sisters have already been married. But there's still time.


----------



## Meee (Oct 24, 2005)

Sometimes it's ok. Other times.. most of the time.. it really, really sucks. It feels like i'll be alone for my entire life though, so i guess i'd better get used to it.


----------



## Matt J (Oct 19, 2006)

It seems we have a good cross section of men and woman here who really want a relationship. My questions is this. Why do the overwhelming number of threads in the Connection forum see no replies...or virtually no replies?

Its hard for me being in Aus...but for U.S people, for every state there are like a 100 active members it seems. 

Im just wondering why people dont use that forum more...in terms of introductions and making connections its probably the least intimidating way of doing it.


----------



## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

Matt J said:


> My questions is this. Why do the overwhelming number of threads in the Connection forum see no replies...or virtually no replies?


My guess would be anxiety. :stu 
Either that or perhaps there aren't a lot of SASers in certain areas of the globe.


----------



## Matt J (Oct 19, 2006)

Drella's_Rock_Follies said:


> [quote="Matt J":501ed] My questions is this. Why do the overwhelming number of threads in the Connection forum see no replies...or virtually no replies?


My guess would be anxiety. :stu 
Either that or perhaps there aren't a lot of SASers in certain areas of the globe.[/quote:501ed]

Im sure anxiety plays a part, and for areas outside the U.S, your options are a lot more limited...but still, its a good way to make a first step...

I also notice the overwhelming number of threads on there are from guys seeking girls. The Connections dating site is 2 1/2 to 1...male to female


----------



## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

> Why do the overwhelming number of threads in the Connection forum see no replies...or virtually no replies?


lack of interest.


----------



## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

I have mixed feelings on the subject. I cant help but feel envious of happy couples, genuinely sick in love couples. I get that sad empty feeling inside of me like I'm unworthy of love or I'm that repulsive that I havent been approached by anyone in real life. I dont know. 
Then other times, I'm perfectly fine being alone, especially after seeing my sister being in this game of a relationship, I dont think I want it. As selfish as it sounds, I only want to be with a certain person for a short time, like an hour a day, then I get tired of them and want to retrieve back into my shell. I hate when people invade my personal space. I have a weird crush now, I like this kid, but honestly I dont want any type of relationship with him, its just a distant crush and I want to keep it that way. Is that weird or what?


----------



## addictedtochaos (Jun 11, 2004)

I know how you all feel. I've never been in a relationship either. I don't know what it is that attracts women to men but whatever it is I don't have it.


----------



## Skroderider (Oct 4, 2006)

Lifetimer said:


> As Karla says, us singles feel so left out. It's like everyone has a BF or GF except us. I don't understand how people get into a relationship so easily. It's almost like whenever they want to get into a relationship, or even just a date, they just snap their fingers and "POOF!", instant GF/BF. It's almost like they can just place an order and the person is there waiting for them. You hear about it all the time and read about it on the internet all the time: Someone breaks up with another person, they then decide they want to get into another relationship and then almost instantly, "Poof" - they're in another relationship. It's like I said, they seem to almost order it up like it was nothing. And the thing about it is... a lot of these people that can get into relationships at will are jerks and scumbags (applies to both men and women). Of course not all of them are, but a lot of them are.


Wow, these are my thoughts _exactly_...

It's really hard for me to see all the happy couples too. I hold on well in the uni, being friendly, fairly talkative and able to avoid overthinking everything. But all these lonely evenings... I usually start to remember everybody I saw that day, and quickly get really desperate. I know this is not healthy and the negative thoughts are probably false, but I just can't help it.



Drella's_Rock_Follies said:


> Either that or perhaps there aren't a lot of SASers in certain areas of the globe.


Yes, AFAIK I'm the only active Russian member -- and I could found only two other Russians who had posted before. It's hardly surprising, of course -- after all, we speak different language . But it seems there are virtually no Russian SA-related Web sites, and that's why I am here.


----------



## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

> also notice the overwhelming number of threads on there are from guys seeking girls. The Connections dating site is 2 1/2 to 1...male to female


Thats better than most dating places, where the ratio is like 5 to 1.


----------



## moejo (Aug 29, 2005)

Matt J said:


> Im just wondering why people dont use that forum more...in terms of introductions and making connections its probably the least intimidating way of doing it.


2 SAer's getting together is a mistake imo. It wouldn't last. If a bad situation pops out, both of you can't be hiding in a corner.

Multiplying 2 negative #s makes a positive, but not in real life.


----------



## itsmemaggi (Sep 26, 2005)

I guess I'm very different from some of you; I get so clingy that no matter what happens in a relationship, I don't retreat. Unless I'm forced to...

Relationships do not seem to be my forte. I hold out hope, though. But yes, right now, I HATE being without someone.

xoxo
Maggi


----------



## inactive (Sep 27, 2005)

...


----------



## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

> Multiplying 2 negative #s makes a positive, but not in real life.


But if you *add* two negatives you get a greater negative...


----------



## Cherry (May 30, 2006)

yes, I am tired of doing it all on my own, having no one when it really counts, and not having that sense of love,as far as being on cloud 9 and knowing that person is on the same cloud over you.


----------



## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

contrary to popular belief, being with someone does give you a better chance to love life and yourself. and i think its a lot easier to seek out a relationship with someone who has similar mental health problems

at least from my experience


----------



## Morningrise (Aug 7, 2006)

The trouble is that everything in our society is geared towards couples. Being "comfortable with yourself" can only go so far. You can't really travel alone, or go out to a restaurant alone, or go bowling alone, or whatever. It makes it even difficult financially because houses/apartments are priced for a two-income household.

Yes, I'm fed up with being alone and single. Too bad that everyone hates me or has no interest in me, especially women my age. And there's no place for me to meet eligible singles anyway.

Ugh...I'm becoming more bitter everyday. :rain


----------



## Karla (Dec 26, 2005)

i think there should be a valentine's day for us single people


----------



## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Karla said:


> Ok, so i tried the whole single thing, loved it, lived it, tired of it. ready to move on. It wasn't so bad during freshman year cause back then no one was a couple. Everyone was single so i didn't feel so left out. now, it's "oh i'm hanging out with the bf tonight" or "my bf is the best!" or "i love him, he did the cutest thing today!". Ok, i admit it i'm insanely jealous of those people couples.
> 
> i can't even get a date and i know people who switch bf's every week it seems. how are they doing this?! where do you go to meet people? screw meeting people, i've met enough, now how do i get a date? to be honest, i don't even want a date, i just want a bf.
> 
> ...


:hug

If you were in my area I'd ask you on a date but you're not so...

I don't want one bad enough or I'd have one. For you ladies it's a little different because you don't initiate the date/ setup the date/ ask the guy out. I'd like a girlfriend but again another excuse I guess, I'm too lazy to go through all the trash in my area to find a good girl. I wish there was a place where I could go and say okay where are all your good girls and then see if I like any of them then talk to them and see if any have interest in me. Might have found one at school based on some of the things she said but I think she has a bf.


----------



## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Karla said:


> i think there should be a valentine's day for us single people


That's something I've never had in my life, lol. Valentines day never really bothered me though. The time when I feel lonely more than any other is around christmas/holidays, not sure why. No it has nothing to do with missing out on getting presents from a gf, lol.


----------



## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

Yes. I am sick of it. I've been single my whole life too.


----------



## Matt J (Oct 19, 2006)

quiet_one said:


> Oh I know what you mean; I'm almost to the point now where I'm willing to settle for a guy whom I don't have much in common with just because I'm so sick of being single; I'm starting to think it's far better than being alone.


I probably shouldnt say this...its not really the right thing to say I guess, but it amazes how many beautiful SAS girls are single. Quite_One ive seen your photo...your a honey, I cant believe somebody hasnt plucked up the courage to ask you out.

I know theres a lot more to it...and suffering from SA myself I know how intimidating it can be for a guy..neverless...im still amazed.


----------



## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

ColdFury said:


> > also notice the overwhelming number of threads on there are from guys seeking girls. The Connections dating site is 2 1/2 to 1...male to female
> 
> 
> Thats better than most dating places, where the ratio is like 5 to 1.


This has always confounded me. Given the fact that there are about the same number as women as there are men in the world (in fact, I think there are more women than men), how is it that at just about all the dating sites, clubs, etc. that the vast majority of the time there are many more men members than female members? Shouldn't there be about the same amount of men AND women members? If anything, statistically speaking, there should be MORE female members than males (since there are more women than men in the world). Can anyone account for this?

Lifetimer


----------



## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

Lifetimer said:


> Can anyone account for this?


In the real world, it's easier for females to get a mate, so they don't need to use online dating as much as males do.


----------



## Morningrise (Aug 7, 2006)

Lifetimer said:


> ColdFury said:
> 
> 
> > > also notice the overwhelming number of threads on there are from guys seeking girls. The Connections dating site is 2 1/2 to 1...male to female
> ...


There are only more women than men if you consider all ages. Women have a longer life expectancy (at least in the USA). If you select an age limit (say 65 or lower) it's more equal.


----------



## Woody (Nov 16, 2003)

Lifetimer said:


> how is it that at just about all the dating sites, clubs, etc. that the vast majority of the time there are many more men members than female members? Shouldn't there be about the same amount of men AND women members? If anything, statistically speaking, there should be MORE female members than males (since there are more women than men in the world). Can anyone account for this?


It may be because the circumstances for women are different than they are for men. There are some risks in dating. And that is more true for women than it is for men. Most all sex crimes and violent crimes are committed by men. If a woman is single, lives alone, and she lets it be known that she does not have a boyfriend then she is putting herself at more risk than would a man in the same situation. Some women who live alone will even have a male friend record their outgoing answering machine message so as to give the appearance that they are not alone. I think women (especially those with SA) have an equally difficult time finding a partner. It's just that our circumstances are different.


----------



## Redox (Jan 20, 2006)

yeah. I guess it just wasn't meant to be. I think I should go join a nunnery.


----------



## MissBrownEyes (Nov 6, 2006)

Yes I hate being single to, right now im stuck betwen a rock and a hard spot, this is the first time in a LONG time ive been sngle, i have omeone i care deeply for ( just posted a thread on this so i wont get much into it, checkit ouf if your intrested) but yes, I miss the holidays w/ someone, the I love yous and the feelin of being loved so deeply.

There is somone out there for all of us though. And I guess what doesnt break us will make us. Everything we go thorugh in life and live though, will only make us a better person and even stronger.

hang in there, love comes when you least expect it :kiss


----------



## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

Redox said:


> I think I should go join a nunnery.


 :ditto


----------



## GURLWONDER (Oct 1, 2004)

dez said:


> Redox said:
> 
> 
> > I think I should go join a nunnery.
> ...


I triple :ditto, lol!!!


----------



## orpheus (Nov 16, 2003)

I want to find someone that adds color to my life. Someone I can be myself completely around. I think many of those types exist in my range. The problem is that I'm way too cowardly to find out.


----------



## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

I need to find a boyfriend that isn't imaginary. Although, Hank the one legged, imaginary janitor really knows how to please a woman.


----------



## sparkler (Aug 10, 2005)

The boredom of being single can be frustrating at times, having nobody to go places with or share anything with, i think the older i get the more confused i feel..right now a companion would mean a lot to me but i'm not getting far with finding one.

I'm so tempted to give in to someone i talk to online..i don't even like him , hes arrogant, macho and all the things i usually avoid but he wants to meet and says i have low self esteem and he can bring people out of their shell, hes married, he talks about relationships hes had with other people. 

Theres people i like much better and they say they like me too but theres always some obstacle or other in the way so perhaps meeting someone like him would be a start even though i know i'd regret it but at least its something.


----------



## Matt J (Oct 19, 2006)

sparkler said:


> The boredom of being single can be frustrating at times, having nobody to go places with or share anything with, i think the older i get the more confused i feel..right now a companion would mean a lot to me but i'm not getting far with finding one.
> 
> I'm so tempted to give in to someone i talk to online..i don't even like him , hes arrogant, macho and all the things i usually avoid but he wants to meet and says i have low self esteem and he can bring people out of their shell, hes married, he talks about relationships hes had with other people.
> 
> Theres people i like much better and they say they like me too but theres always some obstacle or other in the way so perhaps meeting someone like him would be a start even though i know i'd regret it but at least its something.


Mmm I dunno, I think perhaps you should rethink that..You could end up doing yourself long term harm, if he is, how you say he is...

I know its incredibly hard when you really want a companion..Im in the same boat...but you could be going from the frypan into the fryer here.


----------



## Optimistic (Nov 4, 2006)

Woody said:


> Lifetimer said:
> 
> 
> > how is it that at just about all the dating sites, clubs, etc. that the vast majority of the time there are many more men members than female members? Shouldn't there be about the same amount of men AND women members? If anything, statistically speaking, there should be MORE female members than males (since there are more women than men in the world). Can anyone account for this?
> ...


That could be the case, although women face greater risk in any situation,
be it a first-time meeting thru a dating service/site or within a committed relationship. A woman is more likely to be abused in a relationship than by some stranger.

Another factor may be the stigma that women fear when they feel they may be seen as desperately available. Society seems to view a lonely, available woman more pathetically than it does lonely. available men. There is, unfortunately, a bit of a double standard with that. A woman can offset this view by claiming, true or not, that she's holding off for Mr. Right or simply too involved with other things, like work.


----------



## Optimistic (Nov 4, 2006)

Karla said:


> i can't even get a date and i know people who switch bf's every week it seems. how are they doing this?! where do you go to meet people? screw meeting people, i've met enough, now how do i get a date? to be honest, i don't even want a date, i just want a bf...
> 
> i just want a boy  :cry :cuddle :love :rub :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :heart :sigh


Karla, I understand your desperation and hope you find a way out of your predicament. Your words concern me, as I hope that in the event that you meet a guy who asks you for a date, your mind rather than your heart or desperation takes the lead.

If your heart or desperation takes the lead, you risk scaring guys off. or worse yet, getting used and dumped. Of course, you don't want some kind of short satisfaction that will lead to misery when a guy sees you as an easy date rather than as a lady suitable for a long-term relationship.

I'm curious to know about where these girls you know who have bf's are meeting guys. It might be that they are meeting them at parties, maybe activities that you have no interest in or that provoke your SA. Could any of these girls introduce you to a guy? Or are they too busy yakking about their bf's to concern themselves over your social welfare?

I haven't checked the connections dating page to see if you are listed there, but if you are not, maybe that would be an option for your consideration.

Good luck to you.

Optimistic


----------



## Eraserhead (Sep 23, 2006)

Drella's_Rock_Follies said:


> I need to find a boyfriend that isn't imaginary. Although, Hank the one legged, imaginary janitor really knows how to please a woman.


I actually laughed out loud 

Having a girlfriend would be hard for me, since I have extreme trust issues at the moment. Not to mention navigating my way through the dreaded _dating game_. But this loneliness really gets to me sometimes 

I just wanna feel loved :rain


----------

