# I just want to be normal



## purplereign722 (Nov 26, 2017)

I'm feeling sad and lonely. I don't have anyone to talk to. When i do try to talk, i always feel like I'm saying the wrong things. Why does socializing have to be so hard. ) :
Just wish i was "normal" 

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## CNikki (Aug 9, 2013)

I do, too. The people I do socialize with end up pulling back due to how overbearing I can be. It's not fair to them. I fail at just about every aspect in life and death seems to be the better option than having to live my life 'dealing with it.'


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## purplereign722 (Nov 26, 2017)

CNikki said:


> I do, too. The people I do socialize with end up pulling back due to how overbearing I can be. It's not fair to them. I fail at just about every aspect in life and death seems to be the better option than having to live my life 'dealing with it.'


This really sucks, I'm the sane way and i keep putting myself out there just to feel rejected. I'm a crying mess right now. I feel horrible

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## CNikki (Aug 9, 2013)

purplereign722 said:


> This really sucks, I'm the sane way and i keep putting myself out there just to feel rejected. I'm a crying mess right now. I feel horrible
> 
> Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


:hug

I hear you. Really. Crying it out helps, but don't overdo it.

If you want to talk/rant, PM me.


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## purplereign722 (Nov 26, 2017)

CNikki said:


> :hug
> 
> I hear you. Really. Crying it out helps, but don't overdo it.
> 
> If you want to talk/rant, PM me.


Thanks

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## Chris S W (Mar 5, 2017)

I know the feeling. I hope I didn't accidentally make you feel bad in some way. You said absolutely nothing wrong, just to be clear. Your words were nice.


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## Oz67 (Dec 10, 2017)

You know, there are many times I wished I was “normal” too, but more often than not, and as difficult as life can be sometimes, I’m thankful for being a bit of a mess and an oddball. I still find it difficult having conversations with people and constantly feel like I’m saying the wrong things, but I think it’s partly because I just can’t relate to “normal”. You can only be you and you will find people that you can talk and relate to. For me, I try to be the best me I can be. I’m not without fault and I do make mistakes, but we live and learn.


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## Scaptain (Aug 12, 2016)

Why? Being normal sucks.


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## discoveryother (Sep 18, 2016)

yeah it sucks sometimes. but can't you talk to your husband?


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## purplereign722 (Nov 26, 2017)

Scaptain said:


> Why? Being normal sucks.


Being like this sucks, not knowing how to be around people and always feeling uncomfortable around people is a real bummer.

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## purplereign722 (Nov 26, 2017)

andy1984thesecond said:


> yeah it sucks sometimes. but can't you talk to your husband?


 My husband doesn't understand because I wasn't always like this. I used to be very extroverted. I had a lot of friends and an active social life. Now everything is different. When I was taking lexapro for depression and anxiety it diminished my libido and my husband felt like I didn't want him anymore, so I stopped taking them. I really just want to be normal for him. He's a great husband and he didn't know I would be like this.

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## Scaptain (Aug 12, 2016)

I see. Well, hopefully everything gets better for you.


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## purplereign722 (Nov 26, 2017)

Oz67 said:


> You know, there are many times I wished I was "normal" too, but more often than not, and as difficult as life can be sometimes, I'm thankful for being a bit of a mess and an oddball. I still find it difficult having conversations with people and constantly feel like I'm saying the wrong things, but I think it's partly because I just can't relate to "normal". You can only be you and you will find people that you can talk and relate to. For me, I try to be the best me I can be. I'm not without fault and I do make mistakes, but we live and learn.


I do appreciate my uniqueness, but I feel so lonely. And I'm having suicidal thoughts on the regular. I know I won't do it, but I'm thinking of it all the time. I'm not happy when I should be. It just sucks feeling like this truly.

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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

purplereign722 said:


> My husband doesn't understand because I wasn't always like this. I used to be very extroverted. I had a lot of friends and an active social life. Now everything is different. When I was taking lexapro for depression and anxiety it diminished my libido and my husband felt like I didn't want him anymore, so I stopped taking them. I really just want to be normal for him. He's a great husband and he didn't know I would be like this.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


Damn you sound like a really great wife to go off lexapro for him. I feel like you should go back to your psychiatrist and try out a different medicine or combination or something that has less chance of affecting your libido though.


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## purplereign722 (Nov 26, 2017)

naes said:


> Damn you sound like a really great wife to go off lexapro for him. I feel like you should go back to your psychiatrist and try out a different medicine or combination or something that has less chance of affecting your libido though.


I didn't want to lose my husband, so i did it. This is new for both of us and I know he's having a difficult time adjusting to the new me. Lexapro had many side effects for me, I felt like the walking dead. I'm looking into vitamins now, I'm just really afraid of any negative side effects.

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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

purplereign722 said:


> I didn't want to lose my husband, so i did it. This is new for both of us and I know he's having a difficult time adjusting to the new me. Lexapro had many side effects for me, I felt like the walking dead. I'm looking into vitamins now, I'm just really afraid of any negative side effects.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


I highly doubt vitamins are what you need in your situation. You really need to try out some new medicines. Have you discussed any of this with a professional?


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## purplereign722 (Nov 26, 2017)

naes said:


> I highly doubt vitamins are what you need in your situation. You really need to try out some new medicines. Have you discussed any of this with a professional?


My husband had me hospitalized in June because of my depression(suicidal). I've seen someone once since I came home. I didn't feel comfortable there, so I haven't gone back. And I'm not big on taking meds. It's like I'm not supposed to be well or have friends and lasting relationships. This is the only aspect of my life that I suck at.

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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

purplereign722 said:


> My husband had me hospitalized in June because of my depression(suicidal). I've seen someone once since I came home. I didn't feel comfortable there, so I haven't gone back. And *I'm not big on taking meds*.* It's like I'm not supposed to be well or have friends and lasting relationships*. This is the only aspect of my life that I suck at.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


If it helps you cope with depression and anxiety then i don't see why you shouldn't. 
And no offense, but that is bullcrap.


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## purplereign722 (Nov 26, 2017)

naes said:


> If it helps you cope with depression and anxiety then i don't see why you shouldn't.
> And no offense, but that is bullcrap.


No offense taken, I'm just different I guess. 
But I do appreciate the conversation, can't talk to my husband about any of this without him getting angry with me. Third community really helps.

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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Yeah, same.


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## webs (Jul 5, 2016)

purplereign722 > did you ever consider other methods than medications? Therapy, books etc? 
I can personally recommend reading (or watching) Eckhart Tolle..


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## purplereign722 (Nov 26, 2017)

webs said:


> purplereign722 > did you ever consider other methods than medications? Therapy, books etc?
> I can personally recommend reading (or watching) Eckhart Tolle..


I haven't yet, just started on this forum and its been helpful. Don't have people in my regular life that I can talk to about these things. And thanks I'll look into eckhart.

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## CNikki (Aug 9, 2013)

Have you invested in a psychologist? It takes a while, but hopefully there's the 'right one' out there. I say this as someone who desperately needs one too and hoping to invest effort by tomorrow. I still have some hope I guess.


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## Cook38 (Dec 10, 2017)

purplereign722 said:


> I haven't yet, just started on this forum and its been helpful. Don't have people in my regular life that I can talk to about these things. And thanks I'll look into eckhart.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


That's why I joined this forum too. Its hard talking to the people in your life about this stuff without feeling like it makes you seem weak. Having a safe place like this to vent can't be a bad start. I'm with you on the meds too. I don't even take aspirin for a headache. A psychologist or therapist of some sort is a good idea, but I don't want them to just shove pills down my throat. Maybe you could do some research and find one in your area who is less into prescriptions and more into actual therapy.


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## purplereign722 (Nov 26, 2017)

Cook38 said:


> That's why I joined this forum too. Its hard talking to the people in your life about this stuff without feeling like it makes you seem weak. Having a safe place like this to vent can't be a bad start. I'm with you on the meds too. I don't even take aspirin for a headache. A psychologist or therapist of some sort is a good idea, but I don't want them to just shove pills down my throat. Maybe you could do some research and find one in your area who is less into prescriptions and more into actual therapy.


 thanks cook, I'm definitely looking into different things because I'm over felling bad all the time.

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## Suede1971 (Jun 27, 2017)

purplereign722 said:


> I'm feeling sad and lonely. I don't have anyone to talk to. When i do try to talk, i always feel like I'm saying the wrong things. Why does socializing have to be so hard. ) :
> Just wish i was "normal"
> 
> Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


There isn't such a thing as normal really, everyone has problems but most are good at hiding it.


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## Sadianime (Oct 16, 2017)

Like that person said, there’s no such thing called “Normal” I feel the same way at times but it’s fine. We all in this support group is going through the same thing. Just try to work on your confidence and you’ll do fine


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## purplereign722 (Nov 26, 2017)

Sadianime said:


> Like that person said, there's no such thing called "Normal" I feel the same way at times but it's fine. We all in this support group is going through the same thing. Just try to work on your confidence and you'll do fine


 thanks ☺

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## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

Who cares about normal, just be you.


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