# "SAD or Just Shy?"



## SAS Admin (May 28, 2012)

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/253031.php

This was brought to our attention by a fellow member of the website and I thought this might be a fairly common topic among us. 
What are your thoughts? 
Your experiences?


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## Reprise (Nov 4, 2012)

i know for one thing im kinda shy in meeting new people
espically when i can't think of anything to say

I can handle most places alright or familiar places, even malls with heaps of people freak me out, thats some what busy at the moment with christmas

I think the hardest thing for me is to keep a conversation flowing, as opposed to be shaky or anxious. 

I think we all experience to varying degrees of social anxiety, and it would be hard to place one in any particular named disorder of been shy or social anxiety disorder. I have a bit of both, no extremes or base lines, I guess i've learnt to cope with different social situations to varying degrees.


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## Daktoria (Sep 21, 2010)

Shyness is an attitude.

SAD is an emotion. It's not embarrassment or humiliation itself. It's a physical stress that courses through your nerves, veins, muscles, tendons, and bones, makes you cry, makes you jittery, makes your shoulders hunch over, etc.

They are two totally different things. Heck, sometimes, my social anxiety drives me to socialize, and it's most energized while socializing.

Whoever wrote that doesn't know what someone's talking about.


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## Electric Emu (Oct 28, 2012)

Surely SAD is just the point at which shyness becomes so extreme and debilitating that it seems to require some sort of medical response, i.e. it's a question of degree? After all, looking through the list of symptoms associated with SAD, i suspect a very shy person would identify at least to some extent with pretty much all of them.


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## Andrea91 (Oct 20, 2012)

Both


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## AceEmoKid (Apr 27, 2012)

I think I might have both. I've been shy since I was little...but as I grew older it just got more and more extreme, until my "shyness" just got ridiculous. It's not even being shy, or afraid to socialize. It's even when I WANT to socialize, and I am in the process of socializing, that I get very nervous/anxious. Feels like my hearts going to explode, I stutter around crowds and peers my age, I seem unapproachable and don't really understand social norms much (though that last part may not be a symptom of SAD necessarily). 

I agree with what another poster said. Shy is just a personality type, while social anxiety is an actual emotion.


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## hunnyb (Jan 23, 2014)

i have always been very shy, i have never been great at social events. when i first was dating my husband, he was into clubbing etc. we went into one crowded club and i freaked out. i was physically scared, it was very over whelming and i was almost in tears. he is also in many computer clubs and has asked me to support him. i have said no i can't because some of the other members scare me. i can't even go and get something to eat, or go to the toilet around them. i have decided home is where i feel safe. and even though i do stuff up, at least i know i can go and cry in peace.


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## dontwaitupforme (Feb 23, 2013)

I sometimes question this..


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## UltraMagnus (Jan 25, 2014)

If you are anxious in social situations, then you have SAD.
Otherwise you are "just shy".


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## Izzy Reeves (Mar 2, 2014)

I've personally found that they are different things, when I was younger I was 'shy', I was nervous when doing musical performances and sometimes didn't like having to perform or talk to people I didn't know but now its SAD, I can't talk to people I don't know without overthinking or tensing up, I can't perform infront of people without shaking and crying (I blamed this on nerves but I don't think it is anymore) and I can't talk to people I don't know or a small group of people without going red and tensing up


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## hybridmoments (Feb 24, 2014)

Shyness isn't half as hard to control. I takes a lot of motivation to to be normal to most people in most situation when you have S.A. Shyness is when you tell yourself you don't want to do things. S.A is when you KNOW you want to, but when you do it feels like you did something wrong, and your usually the only one who sees it. S.A is when you rarely can stop thinking about all the things you could do wrong and wondering about what everyone thinks of you. 

S.A is when you feel like more time is spent thinking about doing things, than actually doing it. And if you are at home you might feel just fine, but anywhere in public you feel like all they are thinking about is your imperfectness. 

S.A is shyness x10. It's when you can really get freaked out and sometimes feel like some will fume from your head, because you don't stop thinking. Feeling like the only people (if any) that can understand you are people with S.A.

(from a youtube comment)


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Shy is being afraid to do things. SA is being afraid to do things while your heart is literally pounding hard, your face is red and you're sweating.


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## H011y (Mar 9, 2014)

I don't think it matters whether someone has severe shyness or has crossed the border into social anxiety, that can both be combated the same way. The important thing is helping overcome it


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## startspreading (Jan 4, 2012)

I've always been mad when people said I'm shy. With my diagnosis, I knew: I was never shy for some situations, like receiving compliments, prizes or reading in front of the class of an audience. I saw I have problems socializing. with people, which makes me another person with SA.


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## CEB32 (Mar 6, 2014)

I wish i just got shy feelings as it seems many do, my body breaks down until i collapse, i feel sick dizzy,heart rate goes mad cant concentrate.

That is not being shy but i am sure there are many who are just overly shy rather than have full blown panic attacks and what i described, which is a shame as they wont be getting the help they need and likely get medicated when they dont need it.


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## RyannJ (May 6, 2014)

But social anxiety, or social phobia, is more than just shyness or occasional nerves. With social anxiety disorder, your fear of embarrassing yourself is so intense that you avoid situations that can trigger it.


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## hybridmoments (Feb 24, 2014)




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## megatheriidae (Jul 10, 2014)

SAD is extreme shyness, I think. It's when your fear of socializing affects your daily life so much that it decreases your quality of life. And like other people said, it messes with your body in so many ways because it's so stressful. I think you know you have SAD when you have so many physical symptoms. And if you actively try your best avoid most, if not all, social situations, that's also a big sign. I think the article says that


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## RRAAGGEE (Mar 15, 2014)

Helena_SAS said:


> http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/253031.php
> 
> This was brought to our attention by a fellow member of the website and I thought this might be a fairly common topic among us.
> What are your thoughts?
> Your experiences?


If you have social anxiety disorder you are painfully shy. If you're shy, you don't feel pain you just don't want to talk.


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## EddieDee (Jan 13, 2014)

I don't know if I have SAD, but I relate to A LOT of people here. I am just too shy and quiet. Perhaps I do have SAD? It is hard to tell, but when I was 15, I started to get acne and it was pretty bad. I was self-conscious by it and was afraid to talk to people or be near them. So I started avoiding people for 10 years! that's when I hit age of 25 when I started to clear up. During those years, I was just gaming, all day. I've decided to go to college at 21 and had bad zits but I still went to school everyday! I made 0 friends in college because I didnt talk to anyone. Now that I am clear and I go to a university, I can't seem to make friends, but I do go out and attend some meetups.com events. I even had a gf like a month ago, but we broke up because it was rushed and many other reasons. I guess I am getting better?

But not sure if I have SAD.. how can you tell? do I sound like I have SAD or I am just too shy?

I don't tend to get depressed. I am a happy person and I never cry, etc. I was depressed when I was with my ex gf and during those years when I had acne, but that's about it.


PS: My ex gf thought I was too quiet and she thought I couldn't follow a conversation which frustrated her. I also had trouble hearing her so I used to always make her repeat.. she has such a low voice. I need to work on that because she's right.. conversation is new to me. I haven't done that much.


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## Beriechil (Jul 31, 2014)

Thanks for this thread! I've found some articles before that said SAD was not a disorder, but just shyness, and now I'm afraid to tell people I have SAD because they might think the same. But there's a lot of good points here.

@Eddie: I was the same in school, though when I got to college, I got lucky because I found people that pursued a friendship with me, even though I would turn away from them at first because I was terrified of human interaction after high school.
Did you have any luck finding friends at the meetups.com events? I reckon that's where you met your gf?


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## KrazyDave (Sep 19, 2014)

I'm shy in work around pretty girls or groups of lads on holiday but If my misses wants me to go out for a drink at night just the thought of it makes my gear race. It's even racing now writing this. I can't get over it and week after week she goes out without me which I don't mind and know I can trust her. I just wish I actually wanted to go out sometimes. I hate people I don't know and there's always pretty girls out dressed up to the nines that want to talk to me and it makes me so scared I start stuttering and dunno what to say or do other then hi then turn red 

I hate being me sometimes


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

visualkeirockstar said:


> Shy is being afraid to do things. SA is being afraid to do things while your heart is literally pounding hard, your face is red and you're sweating.


It's an interesting clarification.


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## Blaze Crow (Sep 11, 2014)

My is more of smaller events and some big traumatic events along the way.


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## stranger14 (Sep 24, 2014)

I think I would be pretty angry if someone accused me of being "just shy". I have met many people in my life who are "just shy", and I act so different from them in social situations. I think it's safe to say that I do _actually_ have social anxiety, regardless of anyone that will ever call me "just shy". It's not a simple trait, it's a disorder.


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## Mr Fluff (Sep 16, 2014)

"Shyness" is a manifestation of a strong diathesis---a predisposition---to developing SAD. However, diathesis alone is not enough to develop SAD and some may have less of it than others. There must also be environmental stressor(s) that triggers the disorder.

What I mean is, someone who has a shy temperament is probably more susceptible to developing SAD. But, it's not necessary to be shy in order to end up with SAD. It depends a lot upon the individual's experiences and perceptions.


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## Yokoo (Sep 27, 2014)

Electric Emu said:


> Surely SAD is just the point at which shyness becomes so extreme and debilitating that it seems to require some sort of medical response, i.e. it's a question of degree? After all, looking through the list of symptoms associated with SAD, i suspect a very shy person would identify at least to some extent with pretty much all of them.


But people can have SAD without being conventionally shy.

Like, many people don't like spiders. But only a few would cause an accident because they think they see a spider on the wind screen and drive on the opposite lane, or not be able to fall asleep in a room if they don't beforehand check all the corners to make sure there is no spider hidden in them - in a country without poisonous spiders. 
Of course, many people with arachnophobia will not experience that exact situation, but a person who dislikes spiders but isn't phobic hears about this they can't understand is, but a person with a phobia might think: if my fear gets a bit worse than now that is what might happen to me.

It's not just a difference in the degree, but in the quality of the reaction.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

Electric Emu said:


> Surely SAD is just the point at which shyness becomes so extreme and debilitating that it seems to require some sort of medical response, i.e. it's a question of degree? After all, looking through the list of symptoms associated with SAD, i suspect a very shy person would identify at least to some extent with pretty much all of them.


Yeh, kinda this.

I think SAD is the point where you are prevented from doing things you want / need to do because of it.

But there is also a slight conceptual difference between the two. I consider myself to have SAD, but I don't consider myself to be shy. I view shyness as a general quietness, almost a timidness. That is if someone is shy it is part of their character and personality, a trait if you will. SAD can occur without this (it does in me).


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## Josh (Apr 26, 2005)

splendidbob said:


> Yeh, kinda this.
> 
> I think SAD is the point where you are prevented from doing things you want / need to do because of it.
> 
> But there is also a slight conceptual difference between the two. I consider myself to have SAD, but I don't consider myself to be shy. I view shyness as a general quietness, almost a timidness. That is if someone is shy it is part of their character and personality, a trait if you will. SAD can occur without this (it does in me).


I agree. When I am with my immediate family or alone I am not shy at all. But when I am around strangers or in a social setting or making a phone call I act like a completely different person who I feel isn't the real me.


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

SAD is more of the build up to the conversation. This pain in your chest etc. Whereas Shyness is a personality trait.


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## Byotec (Oct 3, 2014)

hybridmoments said:


> Shyness isn't half as hard to control. I takes a lot of motivation to to be normal to most people in most situation when you have S.A. Shyness is when you tell yourself you don't want to do things. S.A is when you KNOW you want to, but when you do it feels like you did something wrong, and your usually the only one who sees it. S.A is when you rarely can stop thinking about all the things you could do wrong and wondering about what everyone thinks of you.
> 
> S.A is when you feel like more time is spent thinking about doing things, than actually doing it. And if you are at home you might feel just fine, but anywhere in public you feel like all they are thinking about is your imperfectness.
> 
> ...


This... Exactly


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## rubyruby (Jun 17, 2009)

Generally speaking people with sa are comfortable and themselves around close friends and family.

So it might be surprising to a family member to hear that a niece or nephew has social anxiety because they seem perfectly ok ard them.

The problem arises when the sa person goes out into the world and cannot keep a job or form relationships. When it interferes with your ability to hold down a job it is no longer shyness but a mental health issue called sa.


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## stv105 (Aug 21, 2014)

rubyruby said:


> Generally speaking people with sa are comfortable and themselves around close friends and family.
> 
> So it might be surprising to a family member to hear that a niece or nephew has social anxiety because they seem perfectly ok ard them.
> 
> The problem arises when the sa person goes out into the world and cannot keep a job or form relationships. When it interferes with your ability to hold down a job it is no longer shyness but a mental health issue called sa.


This is me. Its really terrible.


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## Akuba (Oct 17, 2014)

rubyruby said:


> Generally speaking people with sa are comfortable and themselves around close friends and family.
> 
> So it might be surprising to a family member to hear that a niece or nephew has social anxiety because they seem perfectly ok ard them.
> 
> The problem arises when the sa person goes out into the world and cannot keep a job or form relationships. When it interferes with your ability to hold down a job it is no longer shyness but a mental health issue called sa.


This pretty much describes me. Asperger's and (nearly) severe depression may also contribute.


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