# Do you think you are too negative to make friends?



## Joe (May 18, 2010)

Ignoring the death barrier of anxiety when it comes to forming bonds, and my general lack of ability to be able to get close to people sometimes I think my negativity burdens me.

Obviously I don't meet many new people, but I feel when I feel so depressed I become consumed in my own thoughts and end up shutting down almost and avoiding conversation. Also even on here when I'm in a bad mood (which is like 80%+ of the time) I tend to be very negative about myself, also I say really negative things to my family quite frequently. "I wish died when I was 16", "I wish I was never born", "I wasn't made to live" are examples.


----------



## noneM (Oct 30, 2015)

Everything can change. By personal experience, I tell you. It's true.

If you start to change your own thoughts... also you're young. Work on self-esteem is key.

So, ask yourself; why do I have those thoughts?. I'd start there... Everything began since child.

regards,


----------



## Akuba (Oct 17, 2014)

I often feel out of place when I'm with others.

I do have some friends and acquaintances at my community college, but not very many. I am somewhat negative and this may contribute to my lack of friends.


----------



## iCod (Feb 17, 2015)

Yes.

You can easily tell from my posts that I just ooze negativity and self-pity. No wonder everyone in real life avoids me like a plague.


----------



## Beast And The Harlot (Jun 14, 2015)

Yeah. That, and I'm too ugly and wierd.


----------



## MondKrabbe (Sep 7, 2015)

I tried talking about my constant negativity and depression in a much lighter fashion with the person I wanted to be my friend. Never got to ask her how she felt about me dumping my problems on her. So yes, it does, because the last time I had a casual conversation with someone that I wasn't forced into was back in June. Uuuuuuuuugh, I'm feeling down again.


----------



## Freezing Moon (Nov 15, 2015)

I see it. From some time in the past up to now I have become extremely negative, partly because of philosphical principles and partly because I cannot find a way to connect to people. I am in fact (truly) starting to think that I am invisible, which would be incredible.

Anyways, I do not seem to find a way out of the maze.


----------



## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

No. I'm too negative to want friends. :lol


----------



## keyboardsmahshfwa (Apr 22, 2014)

Sort of. I've been called Negative Nancy, Debbie Downer, and Buzz Killington every now and then. 'A**hole' is another one...

But my apathy towards friendship and relationships in general is mainly what stops me from forming bonds with people. I'm not worthy of anyone's time so I don't even bother putting in the effort.


----------



## Freezing Moon (Nov 15, 2015)

sio said:


> Sort of. I've been called Negative Nancy, Debbie Downer, and Buzz Killington every now and then. 'A**hole' is another one...
> 
> But my apathy towards friendship and relationships in general is mainly what stops me from forming bonds with people. I'm not worthy of anyone's time so I don't even bother putting in the effort.


Are you apathetic like you simply do not see value in those things or you are thinking that people see you as someone inferior?

I ask that because I am not completely apathetic and now and then try to connect, but it DOES NOT happen. Maybe I died and don't even know yet...


----------



## Genos (Dec 17, 2014)

yes because i expect people to disappoint me and i associate people with pain
yay life


----------



## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

I dont know why 100% but people tell me i am negative i cant help it i never see many positives to life and every time i start to get somewhere something bad happends witch makes it nearly impossible but o well that life i guess


----------



## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Sorta. I'm always feeling like no one cares about me or what i have to say. I'm not worthy of their time.


----------



## rippy (Nov 15, 2015)

i really want to make friends but im so preoccupied with being anxious I can't form a bond -.-
and i feel im not worth peoples time anyway and my presence is offensive


----------



## harletta (Nov 4, 2012)

I think so .. my main problem is that I wasted so many years.


----------



## keyboardsmahshfwa (Apr 22, 2014)

Freezing Moon said:


> Are you apathetic like you simply do not see value in those things or you are thinking that people see you as someone inferior?
> 
> I ask that because I am not completely apathetic and now and then try to connect, but it DOES NOT happen. Maybe I died and don't even know yet...


Yeah, it's the same for me. I'm opened to forming bonds if a person and I instantly click, but that's never happened before. And to answer the question, I guess my apathy does stem from low self-worth/inferiority. As much as I appreciate people's friendliness towards me, I just can't get over the guilt of knowing that they're just wasting their time. :/


----------



## hevydevy (Oct 27, 2015)

I don't bother to keep in touch with people and I avoid any gatherings I'm invited to (usually out of pity). My one friend gave up after awhile and now I'm alone. Yay.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Joe (May 18, 2010)

Touka said:


> yes because i expect people to disappoint me and i associate people with pain
> yay life


i have the same issue but reverse, i kind of give up before it starts


----------



## Freezing Moon (Nov 15, 2015)

sio said:


> Yeah, it's the same for me. I'm opened to forming bonds if a person and I instantly click, but that's never happened before. And to answer the question, I guess my apathy does stem from low self-worth/inferiority. As much as I appreciate people's friendliness towards me, I just can't get over the guilt of knowing that they're just wasting their time. :/


I see it. However I reckon you shouldn't get too down with it. If I were you, I would try and see things as neutral as possible, including myself. Since I hardly think I will ever form any bond with anyone, save parents, I guess I need to develop some kind of method to be at least indifferent towards it.

Keep it cool.


----------



## Joe (May 18, 2010)

noneM said:


> Everything can change. By personal experience, I tell you. It's true.
> 
> If you start to change your own thoughts... also you're young. Work on self-esteem is key.
> 
> ...


I hope I can fix the way my mind works, it took years of degradation to get so low so it's a long ride.

Also the dog on your avatar is really nice


----------



## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

No, not at all.

Wait. What's a friend?


----------



## Kezlibra (Nov 16, 2015)

I think im just misunderstood, i think as a girl... sometimes if you're not loud, sassy or an extrovert people think your just weird & awkward.


----------



## sebastian1 (Feb 7, 2013)

Too boring, too socially retarded, and now too old. I think I'm the least interesting man in the world


----------



## noneM (Oct 30, 2015)

Joe said:


> I hope I can fix the way my mind works, it took years of degradation to get so low so it's a long ride.
> 
> Also the dog on your avatar is really nice


I have good news: yes, you can "fix" your mind for to be fine with yourself (and obviously be happy). Of course, with hard work inside and being patient.

First, it is to recognize that you've a problem.

Second, ask yourself questions:

E.g: Have I been always this way?. Which are my strong points?. My skills?

"I can do it. I can improve my life.". Also, you've that believe it.

PS: haha, thanks. I know. My dog-avatar it's cool :laugh:

PS2: sorry my English. I'm learning .

regards,


----------



## Chasingclouds (Jan 7, 2015)

WillYouStopDave said:


> No. I'm too negative to want friends. :lol


This right here explains me perfectly. While I do have one or two close friends, I feel like I'm too negative to want to really make any more.


----------



## XRik7X (Jun 11, 2014)

Nope, Im actually kinda positive but my problem resides in having no social skills.


----------



## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

I don't think so. I am usually remarkably positive and optimistic about the future being better than it is now despite never really having evidence that it is going to be that way. I guess being a fool has its merits.


----------



## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Sometimes I feel like this. Its like I don't want to spread my negativity on them.


----------



## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

No, I think I can be positive and upbeat.... I never show those close to me what's truly wrong...i guess I have a good poker face.. 

For me, I don't get close to people because ( from experience) I feel they want something from me...

Girls,(just the ones I have experience with) none of them were *****y or mean... But kinda made it clear they have their own group..and my other friend i thought was gonna take me out after I basically did her project for her.... She never called or text back...and after two weeks ,she tried to call me yesterday but I ignored her..bc she probably wanted more help... 😔 


And boys just wanna do me. 

So I'm guarded..and have good reason to be.


----------



## harletta (Nov 4, 2012)

videotape said:


> A lot of us here have fallen into that trap.


How many has it been for you? 6 for me.


----------

