# Is therapy for me? Is there anything I should be wary of?



## BoyWithTheThornInHisSide (Apr 13, 2011)

I recently went to my doctor and told him that I was having a hard time not feeling desperately low all the time. He referred me to a therapist (who I'm now on the waiting list for). The few people I've told about this have been incredibly sceptical, and have basically given me the whole "pull yourself together and keep away from the nuthouse" routine.

I feel like I'm in desperate need of some sort of intervention and re-evaluation though. I feel like I can't keep my mind still for more than a few seconds; my concentration is completely shot and I can't seem to keep still or relax for very long. I've never had a job for longer than ten months, and I've been out of work since December. I can't, for the life of me, decide what I want to do with my life.

I'm so desperately sad and lonely and disappointed with life. Often, I can't tell the difference between wasting time and doing something worthwhile. I have a hard time understanding what the purpose of life -the carrot at the end of the stick- is supposed to be, and don't really understand why everyone doesn't feel as hopeless as me. I find it hard to relate to the vast majority of humanity. I also feel like all the usual 'rights of passage' are missing from my social development, and I'm full of regret for all the opportunities I've missed. 

I can't go on like this. I've tried meditation, exercise, changing my diet, etc. Nothing seems to work. So yeah, I guess my basic question is; 'based on all your experiences, is therapy a 100% good thing for me?' Is there anything in particular I should be wary of?


----------



## Icthys (Nov 8, 2008)

I think I understand how you're feeling, as I'm in a similar situation myself. I started going to therapy a while ago, but I'm not sure how to evaluate the experience yet as it's still a work in progress.

You should realize that perhaps you won't get exactly what you expect from therapy, depending a bit on what kind of therapy your therapist practises. There are things out there like CBT, Gestalt therapy, Rogerian therapy, schema therapy etc. that have very different approaches. My experiences have mostly been with CBT. In hindsight I think perhaps some Rogerian therapy and/or schema therapy would have done me some good.

Regardless of what type of therapy is practiced, it's still you who have to do much of the work to bring about change. Neither will the therapist take charge of your life and make decisions for you. All they can do is make suggestions.

In my own experience you probably shouldn't go to therapy with the expectation that someone is finally going to fully understand you and/or take care of you, you have to take care of yourself and they will provide professional support along the way.

You should also keep in mind that Psychology and Psychotherapy are faulty, and not exact sciences.

You sound like you're suffering from depression, so perhaps medication is an option to consider?

Also, watch out for the quacks: http://www.quackwatch.com/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/mentserv.html

I hope this is at least marginally helpful. I wish you all the best


----------



## Cisco (Mar 2, 2007)

I wouldn't worry about the skeptical people, especially if the skeptical people's experience with psychology is limited to Dr. Phil and what they've seen in movies. You have to do what's right for you, and there's only one way to figure out what that is. 

The only way to know if therapy is the solution for you is to give it a try. Obviously your doctor thinks it would be of benefit in your situation, and he would know better than we would - he knows you in person and talked with you about your problems. 

I would be wary of the therapist who doesn't have a direction or a plan. There's a lot of therapists who are content to have you discuss how the last week has gone with no larger plan of treatment. While that kind of supportive therapy can be helpful depending on your circumstances, I think it's more productive to have some kind of goals or structure to make sure you keep moving forward. Make sure you ask about what the therapist's approach is - by the end of the history session, they should be able to give you a rough outline of what they will cover with you over the next few weeks, or tell you what approach (like CBT) they use. They may need to modify it depending on how things go and what comes up as they get to know you better, but they should have a plan.


----------



## BoyWithTheThornInHisSide (Apr 13, 2011)

> Make sure you ask about what the therapist's approach is - by the end of the history session, they should be able to give you a rough outline of what they will cover with you over the next few weeks, or tell you what approach (like CBT) they use. They may need to modify it depending on how things go and what comes up as they get to know you better, but they should have a plan.


Thanks. Really helpful.




> In my own experience you probably shouldn't go to therapy with the expectation that someone is finally going to fully understand you and/or take care of you, you have to take care of yourself and they will provide professional support along the way.


Fine.




> it's still you who have to do much of the work to bring about change. Neither will the therapist take charge of your life and make decisions for you. All they can do is make suggestions.


I think I have a lot of complex, overlapping issues that prevent me from properly knowing my own mind. I guess my hope is that if I can get these issues aired and ironed out, I can make practical decisions about my own life.




> You sound like you're suffering from depression, so perhaps medication is an option to consider?


Trying to avoid it really. I'm too wary of possible side-affects.


----------



## ntdc (Jun 29, 2011)

BoyWithTheThornInHisSide said:


> I recently went to my doctor and told him that I was having a hard time not feeling desperately low all the time. He referred me to a therapist (who I'm now on the waiting list for). The few people I've told about this have been incredibly sceptical, and have basically given me the whole "pull yourself together and keep away from the nuthouse" routine.
> 
> I feel like I'm in desperate need of some sort of intervention and re-evaluation though. I feel like I can't keep my mind still for more than a few seconds; my concentration is completely shot and I can't seem to keep still or relax for very long. I've never had a job for longer than ten months, and I've been out of work since December. I can't, for the life of me, decide what I want to do with my life.
> 
> ...


theres enough stigma against seeking mental health help that you can be reasonably sure if _you _think you need therapy you probably do.

at the very least, it cannot hurt.


----------

