# Emotionally Retarded?



## Sad_ape (May 26, 2007)

Apologies if "retarded" is an insensitive word. I couldn't really think of another word to describe it off the top of my head. I was curious to know if sufferers of social anxiety tend to overreact to certain life events. Like invest much more emotion into things than a regular person would? For example. Say you'd had a bad time or something, someone was rude to you etc. You think horrible thoughts and think about suicide and stuff (I know I do) or if you'd had a good time, someone complimented you on your looks or something you become extremely happy or even cocky and arrogant when it happens? 

I ask because this is exactly what I do. I think I'm just not used to socializing so I invest more emotional attachment to things than normal people would. I feel like my normal emotional base-line is to be depressed though, like if I weren't depressed I would feel strange and probably have really bad anxiety


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

I prefer the term 'emotionally damaged' myself.



> I was curious to know if sufferers of social anxiety tend to overreact to certain life events. Like invest much more emotion into things than a regular person would? For example. Say you'd had a bad time or something, someone was rude to you etc. You think horrible thoughts and think about suicide and stuff (I know I do) or if you'd had a good time, someone complimented you on your looks or something you become extremely happy or even cocky and arrogant when it happens?


Maybe not to the extent that you do but I over react to things (make more of the situation than what it really is).

Now that I realize that I do this, I tend to not react or even under react, if that's possible. But, I internalize things quite a bit too.


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## Sad_ape (May 26, 2007)

Well that was just an example. I'm not as bad as I made it out to be I think. I do get extreme emotional differences at times though.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

I am emotionally underdeveloped, or I'm manic depressive... could be either.


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

in certain situations i might overreact (for example if someone said something negative towards me) but much more often than not i am just very indifferent and apathetic. i actually think it's a big problem for me because i don't really have normal conversations because of it... that doesn't really make sense but i mean at the end of the day i am expected to talk to my mum (hard to do, honestly) and i never have anything to talk about because my day isn't ever good or bad. and if someone is talking to me about their day i don't really react at all and partly because of that i don't know how to converse like a normal person.


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## PlayerOffGames (Mar 19, 2007)

yup...thats me :yes


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## lilly (Mar 22, 2006)

I definitely overreact. I am happy when something good happens then on the same day may plummet into despair and worry over something that may be considered small on afterthought. Everything is storm-in-a-teacup with me. I hate it - I wish I could stop it. I want to be calm about things!
Also I've heard of "emotional intelligence" talked about a lot and think that's what they call emotional ability regarding other people and ourselves. Emotional thermometer of others and selves I mean.
I remember when I was having some therapy this psychologist told me you have to defuse the situation. This is really good advice if I can remember to do it.


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## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

I'm sensitive to some things. Recently someone I'm not acquainted with very well made fun of me in a way that I didn't like - not directly, but in sarcasm. My cousin said he likes to mess with people. I was surprised by it and felt hurt. Sometimes my grandparents will overreact to something and I will feel light and tender over their reaction. Like, "Can I borrow the car?" and they will say, "WAHH DON"T TAKT THAT CAR!" I'm afraid to ask anything of them as it is - it's not like I'm going to beg if they just say no. I feel emotionally immature at times just by the way I feel about some things. At least I know though that I don't have to react that way and I can work to be stronger about it. I also used to feel tender and light (like crying) in photography class during the critiques - I just wasn't used to it. I got better about it toward the end.

It all depends on what I'm doing with myself and my daily dose of social interaction. I don't know what to do beyond work/go to school. When I don't have a lot going on, it seems my mind sucks everything up like a black hole and collapses in on itself.


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## timbeau0805 (May 22, 2007)

I'm mostly apathetic but sometimes when someone may say negative about me or another negative event happens to me I may usually shrug it off for a little bit, but then it really starts to bug me a lot and I can't get it out of my head.


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## insanechub (Jul 2, 2007)

I once told a therapist that I feared I might be mentally retarded, he told me he didn't believe I was, but that I am emotionally retarded.

I didn't like the way it felt to be called emotionally retarded.


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## Sad_ape (May 26, 2007)

Yeah, I'd thought I was mentally retarded for a while as well lol. I'd actually convinced myself almost that I had partial down syndrome or something. I am so quiet sometimes though that I may come off that way to people. I don't know really. 

I think I am emotionally retarded though just for lack of social experience. I become too attached to people when I connect with them and become incredibly hurt when they mistreat me in any way. A fat guy in good spirits wouldn't care if some little kid called him a fat guy. He'd probably think it was funny and make a joke out of it. If a little kid points out a flaw about me I just feel like killing myself lol. If someone talks to me kindly, or is just nice to me (like a cashier) I feel good about myself for the rest of the day until I convince myself to find something to hate about myself again. It's all really childish.


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## Andrew White (Aug 18, 2007)

I obsess about what people say to me, good or bad. If someone is rude to me I don't get depressed but I obsess on extremely OTT ways I could kill them. Don't worry, I'm not a pyschopath and the thoughts are just mind games, ways of getting back at the person without actually having to deal them in reality. Lol, I almost deleted that as it sounds quite worrying! Honestly, I am the least violent person in the world, it's just my humour.

I imagine it has something to do with the extremely little amount of contact I have with people, so every bit I do get means that much more. Like your mind has a space for dealing with people that gets filled if you talk to one person or a million people each day. The one person's thoughts get magnified.

I was once helping at a stables and I literally couldn't join in with any conversations and gave one word replies to everything. I began to suspect they thought I was retarded and I don't blame them really. It's odd how when someone shows signs of difficulty in communicating, the reaction isn't sympathy but contempt.


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## Sad_ape (May 26, 2007)

lol yeah I think that way as well but I think that thinking that way makes me depressed. 


At work, people would often come up to me and strike up a conversation. They'd great me warmly like a friend and everything (I'd often try quite hard to converse with them) and they'd never talk to me again afterwards lol. 

I ended up working there like 1 1/2 years just going every day like a ghost. No one would talk to me and I times I think many employee's disliked me (like you say, they don't want to help you in anyway, they just show contempt for you and perhaps are even cruel if you look as though you need help) it really got to me badly after a while. I'd rather not socialize at all and be a shut in then have to deal with that sort of thing again.


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## Mads (May 8, 2006)

I've always been overly sensitive. I tend to blow tiny things way out of proportion. Something that a 'normal' person would shrug off within 5 minutes will ruin my entire day.


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## veronica (Sep 5, 2007)

I'm the exact same way but i'm also borderline so...


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## shy_chick (Sep 27, 2006)

*Re: re: Emotionally Retarded?*



Mads said:


> I've always been overly sensitive. I tend to blow tiny things way out of proportion. Something that a 'normal' person would shrug off within 5 minutes will ruin my entire day.


I am too. An example is I had a temp job and someone shouted at me. Someone else might have shrugged it off, or had a go at her. I was anxious about meeting her all week, nearly crying and ready to give up, and invent conversations in my head where I need a reference and I say it will be bad and it looks like I couldn't do the job and I can't get on with work colleagues. I spent all night worrying and going on forums for advice. Maybe a little over-reaction for a 1 week job!
I take comments the wrong way too, and immediately assume the worst and feel stressed.


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## suicidal (Oct 5, 2012)

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I found someone who knows what I'm going through, I think at least.

I am, have been suicidal... for too long. Thing is, I don't know how and what to change inside of me to get me out of this destructive lifestyles. I have NO motivation in everything I do, and the thought of giving it all up seems almost blissful. I would really like to talk in more detail, but I feel too ashamed even online. But I DO overreact to EVERYTHING. Sometimes i think i'm not suited for life as society has created. I try to seize the day, so as not to regret. But ironically, my seizing fails and I regret seizing. Even talking about it gets me welled up. I feel like all hope is lost, (as in no more alternatives to turn to). I do smoke weed which helps me sleep at night, otherwise I get consumed in my thoughts, keeping me up till 4 am. 

Help me, I want to live.


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## ChrissyQ (Apr 15, 2009)

I think so!


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## reliefseeker (Jul 21, 2010)

Yeah me too, but i dont think this behaviour fits into the category of "retardedness" though. 
I too sometimes can get quite worked up over some negative trivial stuffs that other people say, and it tends to affect me much more than a normal person would. At one point i even tell myself that I have no idea how to live this life anymore. :no
I think sometimes we just need to find some ways to pre-occupy ourselves with other thoughts instead of dwelling over what other people say...Constant dwelling will only damage our self-esteem, and would only cause u to be more vulnerable to anxiety.


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## DubnRun (Oct 29, 2011)

Yes, based on many past experiences of my own


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## Ben Williams (Sep 9, 2012)

i know how you feel mate. I feel bad most of the time, then a few months ago i got hit on by a pretty girl in town and got the biggest ego boost, big for anyone not just big compared to my normal anxious self. made me wonder about bi polar disorder n stuff it was so intense


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## pantazi (Sep 3, 2012)

Why what are you trying to imply I'm a baby??????????



Joke. yeah I do it's clearly a part of my/our issues. 

It's been comented on by a trick cyclist too, *****, she would say that.


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