# Hideously SA inducing class has me running for the hills



## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

*SA inducing class has me running for the hills*

French Pronounciation through Drama.

You did indeed read that right. French Pronounciation. Through. Drama.

I've been slowly but steadily working towards a French minor since 2006. However, I SA'ed it up and avoided seeing an advisor to declare my minor until last semester, when the French department changed the requirements. Suddenly, I was required to take a pronounciation class, and the only one offered before I graduate was....the theatre one! If I don't take it, my 10 French classes go to waste and I get no minor.

My first class was today. It is my own personal brand of hell. It is everything that makes me anxious, wrapped up in four hours a week. I literally cried afterwards and called my mom.

"Leave your inhibitions at the door!" the spunky and extroverted theatre prof called, "and your shoes!" Oh and move the desks and chairs out of the way, we won't need those".

Today was all ice breakers and stretches, along with the course outline. I made geometric shapes with my classmates, I pretended I was Rageddy Ann. I made fun gestures and emotions to go with my name. I created my own war chant. We did some yoga together. I learned there was no final, as our final was replaced by a theatre piece we are to present to the entire French department. I learned each week we will do comedic improvisational French skits. I learned my ability to captivate my audience was 30% of my grade. I learned we each need to reveal our hidden talent, such as miming or ballet, which she will incorporate into our theatre piece.

I'm not doing it. I am not. doing it. I nearly had a mental breakdown in the first two hours, I cannot do this for a whole semester with 25 strangers. I am dropping the course. I'll just..not apply for a work grant in the summer and take the non drama pronounciation course then and be broke. Sure. That works. My improv group will just have to find another zoo monkey and airline stewardess for Tuesday's skit, because I am *outta there*.

The prof is lovely though, and I know her sorta well from other French courses. I feel like I would need to explain to her why I backed out. I know I'll have to send her an email I just...don't know what I'm going to say. She told me this class would be challenging because she knows I'm shy, but I don't think she realizes how much of a problem it poses for me. She's going to think poorly of me when I abandon her theatric endeavours on Tuesday. What should I dooooooo.


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## Ida (Jan 3, 2011)

Uuuuugggghhhh! I really do feel for you, Perfectionist. Year 11 and 12 were probably _the_ worst two years of my life. I was constantly swapping subjects to get out of doing anything that involved having to speak in groups. I never completely finished year 12 because of this.

With time (6 years later) I eventually forced myself to apply for college and hopefully get over my fears. I managed to get through the three years only having to do three presentations and a few other scary assessments. I cannot believe I got through it. I made a fool out of myself by being so obviously nervous. I'm really surprised I graduated.

Have you had to do many presentations?


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

Academic presentations I can manage. Through five years of univ I've done enough of them. I powerpoint it up, and I do okay. I even got a comment on my last one that I was a good speaker.

But miming in front of all the French department professors? No to the wayyyy.


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## Dane (Jul 27, 2009)

Wow. I can get through presentations with a little help from paxil, but skits? Especially when a big part of the grade is how well you capture the audience? For me that would be a nervous breakdown waiting to happen. 

I feel for you, Perfectionist.


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## Cheesecake (Feb 2, 2007)

I wish you could build up the courage to go through with it. And I would be trying to convince you stick with it. But I don't think even I could put up with that torture.


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## natty8 (Sep 25, 2010)

I totally understand what you're going through, Perfectionist, I was a French major until I got into my junior year when I had to take a French Literature class which involved a lot of reading out loud and group work. The oral exams and presentations from the other french classes was hard enough so with this added on, I couldn't handle it anymore and decided to change my major. 

I don't really have any good advices for you because I didn't talk to my professor about dropping the class either but I know how hard it must be to be in a class like that :|


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

^Yeah, the reading aloud is really really tough, even in your first language. And when it's in your second? Forget about it. I think you need to be really outgoing to major in a language at univ.

The sucky thing is I've already gotten through the two literature courses, and their wonderful associated groupwork. This is the laaaaaaaaaaast one.

I really don't know what I'm going to say in this email to the prof. Hey sorry I can't theatre it up with you, I gots me some SA. Peace.


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## natty8 (Sep 25, 2010)

Oh, gosh, now I have the urge to say that you should just go through with this class since you're almost there, but of course, it's easier said than done.

As for emailing your prof, I really have no idea what you can say to her either because I've never been good with communicating with any of my teachers. But, here's a strange question, do you think if you sent her an email, would she still encourage you to take the class or would she understand and that's the end of it?

I asked that because when I was in high school I told one of my teachers about my fear of public speaking, it was great to get it off my chest but then, like most teachers, she said that I should face my fear and just do it. At that point, I was like, great, what should I do now? If I tell her no, then what would she think of me? If I said yes, then I'll have to go through with the class. So in my situation, instead of having the prof think poorly of me for dropping the class, she is now thinking poorly of me for not even trying :afr 

I don't mean to discouraged you from explaining to your prof because I still think it's the best thing to do, but I tend to think ahead of what her response might be (or I'm just thinking wayyy too much into this.) If she encourages you, would you be able to explain to her why you really must back out? But if she doesn't say anything else, then great, she must understand your situation (Sorry, I hope I am making some sense, it's quite late and I'm not thinking clearly.)


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## Zeddicus (Apr 1, 2009)

Oh my gawd. This is even worse than boot camp. If I ever had to take that class... just, *no*. I walked out of and withdrew from my public speaking class on the first day - there's no way I'd be able to put up with a class like that. My brain would simply be melted by SA.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

natty8 said:


> As for emailing your prof, I really have no idea what you can say to her either because I've never been good with communicating with any of my teachers. But, here's a strange question, do you think if you sent her an email, would she still encourage you to take the class or would she understand and that's the end of it?
> 
> If she encourages you, would you be able to explain to her why you really must back out? But if she doesn't say anything else, then great, she must understand your situation (Sorry, I hope I am making some sense, it's quite late and I'm not thinking clearly.)


Good question. I don't know. I know she loves theatre and said she thought I would really like it to, as a break from all my academic stuff. But I already mentioned to her I will probably be dropping the class and she seemed to understand.

I would never tell her I have SA, maybe just say that I have too much on my plate right now to have yet another out-of-my-comfort-zone experience going on in the form of this class.

I can imagine your teacher telling you to get over your fear like that - I think that's a typical response. And it _is_ good advice, for most people. Just....not us.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

Officially dropped the class. I'm still nervous about telling the prof though. 

But still, I know I will not be miming anything this semester, and that makes me very very happy.


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## Ready To Freak Out (Jul 20, 2010)

I think you're making a mistake, for what it's worth. I would suggest going to talk to your prof, or sending her an email if you can't do it face-to-face, and telling her you have SA and explain how it affects a class like this. She may be able to accommodate you. I know at post-sec institutions in Alberta, students who have exam anxiety are allowed to write their exam alone in a room instead of in the gym surrounded by people and are given a bit longer to do it; who knows what she'd be willing to do for you if you talked to her? Maybe nothing, but wouldn't it be wise to check before just giving up?

SA is a disability, and you should be able to tell your prof you have a disability. I suggest you tell her, and see if it's not too late to work something out.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

oh dear, does this mean all your French classes will now go to waste?

in an email to your professor (who sounds pretty cool, if a little nutty), copy and paste as accurate and detailed a definition of SA as you can find on the net. Explain that this is what you are dealing with, and that the problem is so difficult that you have dropped the class. Ask is there any other way she can work it out with you so that your education which you've worked so hard for doesn't go to waste?

Um, this is easy for me to say as I am not in your position and can only imagine the hell it would be for me, but I've found in the past that in situations like this, honesty is best. if something can be worked out, so much the better. if not, _then_ drop it.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Perfectionist said:


> French Pronounciation through Drama.
> 
> You did indeed read that right. French Pronounciation. Through. Drama.
> 
> ...


I would think having a teacher you knew would help you.
At this point, I think you are overwhelmed. Not all of that stuff is going to happen at once. I think the other people in the class would have the same problem. This might be a chance to get to know some of your classmates, too. It would let you get to know what they do. Plus, you are confident enough in French that you could pull it off linguistically.

Do a piece on SA. It is not worth throwing away a minor. Change is a mess but the less we react to it, the better off we are!


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

I can't get my minor, but I can still get a certificate. There is now another French pronounciation course offered in the summer, which looks exceptionally boring and has a wonderfully reserved and introverted prof. It was newly added to the schedule, and I made sure of it before I dropped the devil course. By pushing this course back a semester I can't finish my minor, but I can get a certificate. Fine with me. I wasn't going to use my minor for anything anyways. The bottom line is no. miming.



Ready To Freak Out said:


> SA is a disability, and you should be able to tell your prof you have a disability. I suggest you tell her, and see if it's not too late to work something out.





leonardess said:


> copy and paste as accurate and detailed a definition of SA as you can find on the net. Explain that this is what you are dealing with, and that the problem is so difficult that you have dropped the class. Ask is there any other way she can work it out with you so that your education which you've worked so hard for doesn't go to waste?


No one knows I have SA. I don't...I don't think I could tell her. I'd feel so shameful.

I work with the disability office through my other job on campus. I know the people that work there, and so I think it would be really hard for me to confide in them because it's no longer an anonymous service for me. Also, I know the services they offer, and I've kept an eye out for SA stuff and haven't seen anything concrete.

I'll go to her office on Monday. I'll say....something vague. Something.


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## Ready To Freak Out (Jul 20, 2010)

Perfectionist said:


> No one knows I have SA. I don't...I don't think I could tell her. I'd feel so shameful.
> 
> I work with the disability office through my other job on campus. I know the people that work there, and so I think it would be really hard for me to confide in them because it's no longer an anonymous service for me. Also, I know the services they offer, and I've kept an eye out for SA stuff and haven't seen anything concrete.


Hmmm...do your coworkers in the disability office mock students with disabilities? I hope not. A disability is just a disability. I know that with emotional disorders, it's a little less straightforward than something like, say, dyslexia, but I think you should be able to talk to your prof about this. Maybe she won't even make you go through the disabilities office.

You've done great getting this far with school - that's an awesome accomplishment; wouldn't you like to at least try to get over this hurdle? Life is going to throw a TON of obstacles at you when you have SA, so you may as well see what you can do about this one before walking away.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

Perfectionist said:


> I can't get my minor, but I can still get a certificate. There is now another French pronounciation course offered in the summer, which looks exceptionally boring and has a wonderfully reserved and introverted prof. It was newly added to the schedule, and I made sure of it before I dropped the devil course. By pushing this course back a semester I can't finish my minor, but I can get a certificate. Fine with me. I wasn't going to use my minor for anything anyways. The bottom line is no. miming.
> 
> No one knows I have SA. I don't...I don't think I could tell her. I'd feel so shameful.
> 
> ...


well. I certainly understand where you're coming from. I too feel more than a little ashamed right now. I will somehow have to tell my boyfriend that after doing some heavy thinking since I got back to the UK, I need to go back to the states and move to a place where I can get real help for this.

While I feel I've made some progress, I now think that perhaps that progress has gotten me to a point where I now feel I can support myself and live on my own (in fact, I prefer it. and now I know I'm not going to die of loneliness), get myself decent jobs when I need them, I don't need to depend on anyone for financial support, that I have the ability to take care of my own life, and _*get the help I need for myself*_. However, it is embarrassing to admit I still need to get help to get my SA issues under control once and for all. Or at least as much as I can. But I know I have to do it, or spend my remaining years still running.....from myself. don't let this be you. Once again, I'm telling someone like my much younger self - let me be your cautionary tale. Time's wasting.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

Thanks for your post Leo. I am glad you are doing what you need to to tackle this, as difficult as it sounds. It sounds like you have made a lot of progress and I hope you make more.

I don't know if you can be my cautionary tale though, since I think it would be pretty dope if in twenty years I had my own forum of loving and devoted followers, like someone else I know in this thread.

I went to my prof's office twice, but she wasn't there. I tried to wait but other profs stared at me so I ran away and emailed her instead. I just said the summer course fit better with my schedule and I was really outside of my comfort zone. Her reply said she understood, but it was really brief so I hope she's not offended. Nrrrg. I still feel like I should talk to her. Maybe later in the semester.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

whoever that is with the loving followers, sounds pretty damn awesome...


well, in view of the fact that you are handling this conference thing and will no doubt have to do more of those types of things, I think you've done the right thing. the drama french? thing is simply just something you're not ready for. 

as for myself, i've gotten meself sorted. I'm going back home to work on my own stuff, which is really what I should be doing.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

I'll be on the same continent as Leo? I am giddy. I am glad you are sorted. 

I think the fact that I am doing lots of other crazy things right now is what pushed this class into the not-gonna-happen realm. Had I had an otherwise calm semester and not much SA provoking stuff, then I think I could have done it. I could had the time and effort to deal with the challenge and try and grow from it. 

But with this conference, and new responsibilities at my other job, and three classes with presentations? I am already out of my comfort zone far enough. I think it's a good thing, that I know when it's too much for me. I may only take baby steps, but it's better than trying to run and falling on my face.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

^hey, all that is MUCH more than baby steps. I had not realized the full extent of all the challenges you have going on. You are doing puh-lenty! 

yep, same continent. if you see a mushroom cloud hovering o'er Washington state's verdant hills, you will know i have landed.


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