# Where do i start with CBT



## Meero (Dec 13, 2011)

I wanted to start CBT and don't know where to start or how to start. I'm on a waitlist for counselling at my university I attend so till then I would like start doing some CBT on my own. If someone can point me in the right direction would be greatly appreciated


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## DukeDuck (Jul 27, 2016)

CBT is like a retraining of the mind. Basically you have to face your fears until you become comfortable with them. So if you have social anxiety, you just throw yourself out there and put yourself in social situations and slowly become ok with it. Have you heard of the fight or flight mechanism? You have to choose the fight option and not see the flight option as an escape route.


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## Meero (Dec 13, 2011)

I thought that was exposure therapy. I have been trying to do that for a month or soas much as possible. I've joined a gym, started playing pickup basketball couple times a week, been going out with family and reading at coffee shops . I don't have many friends so it sort of hard to put myself out there. When I do put myself out there, my anxiety at times can be unbearable and sometimes if I think these social situations went well, I tend start overanalyzing the situation in my head till it becomes another failure. I have done social anxiety step by step audio series for like a 5-6 weeks and stopped. Wasn't really motivated as I should of been and didn't put in the work as much. Now I feel much more motivated and really I want to start regaining control of my life.


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## SFC01 (Feb 10, 2016)

Mindfulness meditation can help with a lot of things like depression and anxiety, and life in general and its something they may suggest when you get to CBT so maybe get yourself a good book with a guided course before you start CBT. 

Recommend for beginners the Mark Williams / Danny Penman book - Mindfulness for a frantic world - or something like that. Either get the book or audio and try that ?

I`ve been practicing for 5 years now but only daily for the last 12 months and it really does help with all sorts of things such as changing your relationships to thought, insomnia, pain right through to things like healthy living and enjoying more the simple things in life.

It does have evidence that it works and is backed up by clinical trials etc but its something you need to commit to on a daily basis if you can but I`m only talking 10-20 minutes.


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## Meero (Dec 13, 2011)

SFC01 said:


> Mindfulness meditation can help with a lot of things like depression and anxiety, and life in general and its something they may suggest when you get to CBT so maybe get yourself a good book with a guided course before you start CBT.
> 
> Recommend for beginners the Mark Williams / Danny Penman book - Mindfulness for a frantic world - or something like that. Either get the book or audio and try that ?
> 
> ...


Thanks for the reply. I've looked into mindfulness and like the concept. The book that you suggested is an 8 week program and my local library has a lot of holds on it so most likely wont have it for the 8 weeks. I would rather gain some knowledge on it before purchasing anything. I'm leaning towards "The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation" by Thich Nhat Hanh. If you read it, I would love to hear your opinion.


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## SFC01 (Feb 10, 2016)

I`ve not read that one but I`ve heard good things about it.

One thing to remember if you are starting out with mindfulness is that it doesn't matter one bit when practicing that your mind won't settle - I know that is usually emphasized by the authors of these books but its so easy to forget that and think "**** this, i just cant settle" or "whats the point" etc.

If you feel that you only focused on your breath for about 1 minute out of 10, then its still a very worthwhile practice.


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## SwtSurrender (Nov 24, 2014)

DukeDuck said:


> CBT is like a retraining of the mind. Basically you have to face your fears until you become comfortable with them. So if you have social anxiety, you just throw yourself out there and put yourself in social situations and slowly become ok with it. Have you heard of the fight or flight mechanism? You have to choose the fight option and not see the flight option as an escape route.


Ah, no no, better to not flood or avoid but do stuff that causes a little bit of anxiety or none at all and move up from there. I agree, you'll become okay with it and then you can take another step, but don't flood yourself or avoid, then you'll be okay.


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## SwtSurrender (Nov 24, 2014)

DukeDuck said:


> CBT is like a retraining of the mind. Basically you have to face your fears until you become comfortable with them. So if you have social anxiety, you just throw yourself out there and put yourself in social situations and slowly become ok with it. Have you heard of the fight or flight mechanism? You have to choose the fight option and not see the flight option as an escape route.


I like what you have to say. :wink2:

Oh that's good, yes with the fight or flight I get confused sometimes, but yes take the fight but when you do try to not fight with the anxiety and just accept it. Like, just ignore it and stay calm and rational, it may seem like you're not fighting it but you are. If you just fight it with let say anger, you will make your situation worse. Flight is something like avoiding it all together.

Man... would be so cool when I am doing an introduction and I can experience the way I am fighting the anxiety with calmness and if I get to the other side just fine, I'll start feeling like I am having an orgasm.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Don't get discouraged if you aren't seeing too many positive results even months after you start. CBT is a gradual learning process, and all those success stories that happen within a year that you hear about are all from a select few who have probably had other treatments that were left uncredited. In other words, those CBT success stories achieved in short amounts of time are pretty much bs, and you shouldn't model your own experience after those. Recognize that it is likely it will take years in order for you to get back to a state in which you're pretty satisfied with yourself.


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## DukeDuck (Jul 27, 2016)

SwtSurrender said:


> Ah, no no, better to not flood or avoid but do stuff that causes a little bit of anxiety or none at all and move up from there. I agree, you'll become okay with it and then you can take another step, but don't flood yourself or avoid, then you'll be okay.


Hmm yeah I have heard of that technique too. To start with things that cause a little anxiety and then keep moving up a notch. But I think that depends on the situation and what exactly you're trying to get over. Sometimes its a situation where you can't really split it up into levels and its just one big thing that you have to do at one shot.

And sometimes you can bypass this process by straight away going to the final level. I don't know if that'll work for everyone though. It's worth giving it a shot if you're in a safe place. I have difficulty talking to people (I stutter) but once I was suddenly made to talk to an entire audience and I was able to talk easily. Not sure how that happened lol

You don't necessarily have to choose the fight option by using anger. You simply tell yourself that you're going to do what you have to do and nothing in the world is going to stop you. It's more of determination that anger. When you get into that phase, the anxiety seems to completely disappear.


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## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

You can try online CBT courses but it works better in the real world with a therapist.


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## SwtSurrender (Nov 24, 2014)

DukeDuck said:


> Hmm yeah I have heard of that technique too. To start with things that cause a little anxiety and then keep moving up a notch. But I think that depends on the situation and what exactly you're trying to get over. Sometimes its a situation where you can't really split it up into levels and its just one big thing that you have to do at one shot.
> 
> And sometimes you can bypass this process by straight away going to the final level. I don't know if that'll work for everyone though. It's worth giving it a shot if you're in a safe place. I have difficulty talking to people (I stutter) but once I was suddenly made to talk to an entire audience and I was able to talk easily. Not sure how that happened lol
> 
> You don't necessarily have to choose the fight option by using anger. *You simply tell yourself that you're going to do what you have to do and nothing in the world is going to stop you. It's more of determination that anger. When you get into that phase, the anxiety seems to completely disappear.*


Yeah, I've felt that before, it must be my determination.


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## Meero (Dec 13, 2011)

SFC01 said:


> I`ve not read that one but I`ve heard good things about it.
> 
> One thing to remember if you are starting out with mindfulness is that it doesn't matter one bit when practicing that your mind won't settle - I know that is usually emphasized by the authors of these books but its so easy to forget that and think "**** this, i just cant settle" or "whats the point" etc.
> 
> If you feel that you only focused on your breath for about 1 minute out of 10, then its still a very worthwhile practice.


Yeah I've noticed that it is very hard to keep my mind from racing when listening to the youtube videos. But I'm keep at it, I think it will get better with practice. THanks for the advice


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## Meero (Dec 13, 2011)

acidicwithpanic said:


> Don't get discouraged if you aren't seeing too many positive results even months after you start. CBT is a gradual learning process, and all those success stories that happen within a year that you hear about are all from a select few who have probably had other treatments that were left uncredited. In other words, those CBT success stories achieved in short amounts of time are pretty much bs, and you shouldn't model your own experience after those. Recognize that it is likely it will take years in order for you to get back to a state in which you're pretty satisfied with yourself.


Yeah I should keep my goals realistic. I have never been resilient person and I have tried to change that recently. I think that has kind of contributed to this whole mess. But Ill make sure I stay patient as most changes don't happen overnight.



DukeDuck said:


> Hmm yeah I have heard of that technique too. To start with things that cause a little anxiety and then keep moving up a notch. But I think that depends on the situation and what exactly you're trying to get over. Sometimes its a situation where you can't really split it up into levels and its just one big thing that you have to do at one shot.
> 
> And sometimes you can bypass this process by straight away going to the final level. I don't know if that'll work for everyone though. It's worth giving it a shot if you're in a safe place. I have difficulty talking to people (I stutter) but once I was suddenly made to talk to an entire audience and I was able to talk easily. Not sure how that happened lol
> 
> You don't necessarily have to choose the fight option by using anger. You simply tell yourself that you're going to do what you have to do and nothing in the world is going to stop you. It's more of determination that anger. When you get into that phase, the anxiety seems to completely disappear.


I feel for me the gradual approach is better. I tend to go straight back into my hole after a big anxiety attack. But I hear you try to stick through it.


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