# Is work the only socialising you do?



## ChuckBrown (Jul 2, 2013)

I don't have any friends or a girlfriend. Every job I have had everyone likes me, even the girls. The majority of time I am interacting with people is at work. There's a few girls at work that I'd like to go out with. I just can't imagining it happening. As soon as I leave work I have no life. The majority of my life is work.


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## Makiz (Dec 31, 2012)

Yeah same, when I'm asked questions about my outside-work-life I just want to curl up and die. 

May as well give it a shot with asking those girls out? Easier said then done for sure but worth it surely? (If that's what you want.)


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## So Lonely (Nov 7, 2012)

Haha, i don't know what inspired me to read this, because i don't have a job, but i can relate. the only socializing I do is at school. And by "socializing" i mean possibly saying a few sentences a day.


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## The Misery Chick (Jun 30, 2013)

Pretty much. Unless using SAS counts as socializing, too.


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## timewarped (Jul 7, 2013)

I was recently told to move on with my life. "Go out and live your life!"

I do not have a life. I just have to keep working to earn a pension so I can retire and hide away in a senior residence with the door shut tight. That's all I have to look forward to. I'm only 42 and I consider my life over.

Socializing makes my head hurt. I can't sit around a group function and try to socialize. It gives me a migraine. I can't talk to a bunch of people and I have nothing to say that would keep a conversation going between me and one other person. I mimic the words I've heard other people using in conversations but I have nothing genuine or unique to add. I am faking every social interaction all of my life.


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## Amethyst Forest (Jul 29, 2012)

Pretty much. But after 8+ hours of constantly being around large groups of people, I am very okay with spending the rest of the time alone or with just one or two other people who are close to me. The majority of my interactions outside of work are one-on-one with any of these 4 people: my mom, my step-dad, my friend, and my boyfriend. I don't get to see any of them that often, though, so I spend most of my time alone. Though I am good at finding ways to entertain myself, it still kind of sucks when people ask me about my life outside of work, ha.


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## JamesM2 (Aug 29, 2012)

Yes, the 40 hours I spend a week at work is about the only time I spend around people, although in my case it's 40 hours too much. People tend to drive me up the wall and I couldn't imagine actually _wanting_ to spend time socialising - it sounds about as fun to me as sticking pins in my eyes.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Yes. And i don't like to talk to them. Its a warehouse job so there no girls to be around with.


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## firestar (Jun 27, 2009)

Same here, unfortunately, except that talking to children isn't really socializing. I only see my coworkers occasionally, maybe once a week at most.


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## Morrik (Nov 11, 2012)

Yup, I do ALL my socializing at work. Once I'm done with work, I prefer to spend my free time ALONE (in the gym, in my room and on my computer). If I do any socializing after work, it's online when I play games and even then it's not very much. I'm completely de-charged after every day of work in terms of socializing and the only way I can re-charge is by spending time alone.

This is something I'm OK with.


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## hopeless93 (Apr 20, 2012)

I hardly socialize at work at all. I mostly work in isolation because I'm a dish washer.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

ChuckBrown said:


> I don't have any friends or a girlfriend. Every job I have had everyone likes me, even the girls. The majority of time I am interacting with people is at work. There's a few girls at work that I'd like to go out with. I just can't imagining it happening. As soon as I leave work I have no life. The majority of my life is work.


I feel the same as you dude. I wish I had advice, but I need help as well.


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## coffeeandflowers (Mar 2, 2013)

Yeah, I do all my socializing at work. Which is a step up from before which was no socializing. I still do my online and texting buddy social thing. Sometimes that slows down though. I am happiest while I am working it seems. I am thinking part of that has to do with the socializing aspect. But it is not enough. I want more. I want an actual social life :/


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## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

yep only at work i talk to people well that not my family but i only work with people that are 20+ years older then me and one guy that a year younger but we dont have any thing in common


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## Mousey9 (Dec 27, 2012)

I work evening shifts at a sort of a lumber warehouse with two other people that hardly speaks english so I can't even socialize if I wanted to. I really like it since i'm on my own most of the time with no one to bother me but sometimes I wish I had a job where I could socialize. Even if it's a retail or at a fast food joint, I'd at least like to try and improve socially.


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## iworkatthegatesofhell (Jul 15, 2013)

I would definitely have to advise against dating anyone at work. Unless you plan on quitting that place soon, there could definitely be drama for sure. I would try to go out and meet friends elsewhere. Church, bar, gym perhaps?


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## Kabuki (Jun 4, 2013)

Absolutely, and even then I barley say a word, however it gets me out of the house which is nice.


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## Just Here (Jul 16, 2013)

You have a life outside work your just not happy with it. Please be carful getting in a relationship at work. I don't have much to do with coworkers outside of work been burned. Wish you the best of luck.


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## Gryffindor85 (Nov 7, 2011)

Yeah, almost all my socializing is at work. The thing is, after being at work for 40 hours, I need a lot of alone time and don't feel like doing anything outside of alone stuff.


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## VengefulAvocado (Apr 6, 2013)

Yes. The people at my work are great, very nice and very funny, but I've never been more than just some-guy-from-work-meh to any of them.

Other than them I have no-one, frightening actually.


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## Tibble (Jan 11, 2011)

Pretty much, but the problem is that I _rarely_ speak to anyone at work. I'm lucky to even get a conversation going for over a minute. I have poor social skills :|


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## Big Game Theory (Jun 16, 2013)

Same here, OP! I've had this conversation several times. I only socialize at work and my coworkers say that I seem fine at it. They've oftentimes have told me that I'm normal at conversation and wonder why I don't go out more.

They also know I'm a virgin and are trying to hook me up. haha


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## Just Here (Jul 16, 2013)

I have pretty good friend at work. We don't do much outside of work but have lot in common. 

My problem is that when I did socialize outside of work with coworkers all we talked about was work. I put in 12 hour days so last thing I want to do is talk about work. So when I'm free of work I like my lone time.


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## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

Yes. It was work and school for the past 2 years. Now it's strictly work until something magically happens. 

I'd go out once every month or 2, though.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

Yes and I find it disheartening cause only muggles work at my store. How am I suppose to meet the Sorceress love of my life when I exhaust too many hours of my life at work and the rest of the time I'm too tired to go out?


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## Silent Ninja 88 (May 14, 2010)

Yes, and I don't do much of it. I'm only at work for 4 hours and it's from 4am - 8am so on most days I'm too tired to socialize.


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## e200e (Mar 31, 2013)

All I do is work full time and im not good friends with people at work. I have two days off but no friends and idk what to do where to go.


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## mybelovedaldra (Mar 26, 2013)

I talk to people on my job not everyone but 3 people I've made friends with but i mostly talk to people online and a few high school friends i keep in touch with


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## footballhead (Jul 19, 2013)

I only socialize at work and only when I'm driven to. I'm okay at putting up a friendly (if not painfully superficial) front but the minute the other person tries to go a bit deeper I start giving them the silent treatment. Its not nice, and with coworkers its probably unwise to poison my professional relationships, but what can you do?


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## CrossYuuki (Jul 22, 2013)

Yes, and that's pretty much all the socializing I can take in one day, any more and I'll just shut down.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

It basically is as I tend to get overloaded fairly easily. On the odd occasion I get out but not often at all


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## TailsAlone (Apr 26, 2013)

Yes. Work is pretty much the only socializing I do that's not in front of a computer. And even at work it's exhausting. I'm a hotel clerk and I interact briefly with people in a controlled environment, but it's still hard.


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## JeezusKreistSooperstarr (Jul 22, 2013)

Yea. It just sucks because ppl at my job don't respect me or even like me at all. I do socialize a bit with coworkers outside of work, but they just use it as a time to say every negative thing they can about me. Then i just go home feeling worthless and inferior. I just wish I could meet some people that would wanna hang out with me regardless and just let me be myself without picking at me. I get so bored from never being challenged in a positive way.


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## Everton (Jul 15, 2013)

I wish


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## Everton (Jul 15, 2013)

Sounds good to me

How did you people step up to applying for a job??


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## Morris the Kat (Jul 31, 2013)

I have a very socially demanding job where I have to talk to hundreds of people on a weekly (if not daily) basis. I manage to hold up well enough, but on the "bad days" I end up escaping to my car for an hour of alone time because I can get too overwhelmed. Then after work I am exhausted so I go home to my dog until it is time to go back to my circus show of a job where I often feel like a performing monkey. So yeah... I'd say 90% of all my socializing is done at work.


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## Sunhawk (Oct 3, 2013)

hopeless93 said:


> I hardly socialize at work at all. I mostly work in isolation because I'm a dish washer.


A talking dish washer?! Nice! What brand are you? haha sorry :lol


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## Idontgetit (Nov 1, 2013)

I would say that most of my socializing takes place at work, being a cashier. Some customers try and talk to me sometimes which is nice, unless they are telling me their life-story.


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

No, I got to school and do a little volunteer work aswell... I also used to have a group of friend and we would hang out pretty much every day but we all drifted apart


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

*Socialising*

why didn't someone tell me this in 1998 when I started 'working' 
when I was 20

*This is the best thread on the forum*

I've never understood this before. Family probably told me this during my school and at family gatherings. I laughed at the older and younger people in the family. I was the only person with any intelligence who loved science and atheism.

My first job at Dominos Pizza was OK because we did laugh and all went to the local bar after shifts. I thought it was puerile and got excited about my career ahead and didn't expect it to be in an office, but it should have been clearly obvious

I did go to a bar on Fridays for the first few years and didn't like it which I did when I was a student.

Life didn't progress properly. I lost each job before lasting a yesr.

It's the other way around with this thread. Work & Socialising are evil words. I soon realised that nobody talks about the job they did and this involved all my family and working friends. People hate their job but I always loved all of mine and wanted to describe it to everyone and nobody wanted to know.

Now sidelined, the impossible way back in requires immediately making friends with strangers, which I cannot do

http://www.ere.net/2013/05/20/why-you-cant-get-a-job-recruiting-explained-by-the-numbers/

Today I have to interview. It will be number 262
I want to change to a different approach due to this thread. Lying & acting about how much I love people. I have so many times faced a horror of walking around people at offices before and after the interview room, always emerging with a thought that I should have hugged & kissed all these people I didn't know, to impress them and crack a funny joke. I never could after all of this. I still don't know what's important because every person has their own way. I don't know how to blanket a particular attitude for a lot of people. I have my own way. It starts with DIY for coffee & tea rounds. I want to take care of and look after myself and nothing more. I can be sure of one fact in life. I lost my status when my girlfriend deserted me and married someone else. I made heroic effort as a loner by crawling back and I knew it was a slippery slope, but kept hoping.

Everyone need to have their own offspring to have a place in life at work.

I don't know how the two are kept seperate or always talking about the others. It was everyone did at work and always laughed their family in the office and the reason I lost every job was because I was single

I made the best progress in my life earning good friends in jail at 19, although somewhat mocked a bit as usual

I'm digesting this thread really well about the cashier and everything on two sides of the border between work and friends - like laughing at a teacher together in class.

I've always been the other way around. I ignore all strangers at work and do what I do. I never laugh with them. That is why I don't have work and there's no way back.

My disorder doesn't have a category. I wish I could find it. Work people are all imbecile and I feel superior to them as intelligent. Don't know if I could flock with people. I could try but it's been a long time.

Maybe I appear miserable at interview. This is why recruiters win. They caused that


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## tim78 (Nov 2, 2008)

Same problem with me. All of my socializing is at work. most people like me, and want to talk to me. I actually get depressed when I'm not at work because I get lonely.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

If your coworkers like you then why don't you ask them if they want to hang out? Work is where I made my friends.


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## sociallya (Aug 24, 2014)

timewarped said:


> I was recently told to move on with my life. "Go out and live your life!"
> 
> I do not have a life. I just have to keep working to earn a pension so I can retire and hide away in a senior residence with the door shut tight. That's all I have to look forward to. I'm only 42 and I consider my life over.
> 
> Socializing makes my head hurt. I can't sit around a group function and try to socialize. It gives me a migraine. I can't talk to a bunch of people and I have nothing to say that would keep a conversation going between me and one other person. I mimic the words I've heard other people using in conversations but I have nothing genuine or unique to add. I am faking every social interaction all of my life.


I hate hate hate it when people use that line on me, because my life is uneventful and dull, and I have no friends. It causes me so much stress when people ask about my personal life, because there's barely anything to be said about it. Back when I did used to have friends (middle school, wow), I lived in fear of them asking me to do things/go out with them, and would often pretend like "my mom said I couldn't" in order to avoid them outside of school. One of my old friends still calls me every once in a while, and I hate those phone calls. We have nothing meaningful to talk about anymore and I wish she'd stop. My mom tells me I should be grateful to have a "true friend" like her but I'd rather not talk to someone who's only calling me out of misplaced obligation/boredom than talk to them just to pretend like I still have a friend left.


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## Nothing123 (Oct 3, 2014)

Amethyst Forest said:


> Pretty much. But after 8+ hours of constantly being around large groups of people, I am very okay with spending the rest of the time alone or with just one or two other people who are close to me. The majority of my interactions outside of work are one-on-one with any of these 4 people: my mom, my step-dad, my friend, and my boyfriend. I don't get to see any of them that often, though, so I spend most of my time alone. Though I am good at finding ways to entertain myself, it still kind of sucks when people ask me about my life outside of work, ha.


Pretty much sums up my life.
Except no boyf, me and my mum are constantly at each others throats, i see my dad once every 6 months and i barely even work as it is cos im a loser :/


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

yep, work, come home and spend the night on sas, sleep few hour, go back to work

i love my life


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## Dunban (Dec 30, 2012)

I also only socialize at work. I hate everyone in my classes and I never talk to my classmates. But I get along with my coworkers and my boss, and actually enjoy their company.


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## inane (Oct 21, 2013)

When you're spending 40+ hours somewhere per week, it's inevitable that it'll make up a huge part of your social interactions. The only other human contact I have outside work (besides cashiers and other service workers) is through texting with coworkers from past jobs or friends who live on the other side of the country from me.


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## PaTrYcK (Jun 2, 2013)

I actually don't do much socializing at all at work, I work as a custodian and I'm usually alone in the wing of the building that I clean, there might be a few therapists in their office but they're usually too busy to stop and chat.


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## AHolivier (Aug 6, 2009)

.


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## H8PPLNDGS (Mar 15, 2013)

wisteria said:


> I socialize at work and church, but it's like we're all obligated to be social just as a way to pass the time. At work, I'm in a group with three guys and we're all cordial and easy going. But after work is over, we don't continue socializing until the next workday. On the job, it's like "we're all in this room, might as well talk!" but to be honest, we're not really close. And in a way, that's fine by me, because I'm too anxious to get close to anyone.


:agree:ditto

Also unless you really get on with someone anywhere people rather be left alone outside of work or whatever. Additionally, people rather not keep in touch in general if the networking won't yield anything at all if the initial reason you have been together no longer applies.

For instance the only reason the community and her regular coworkers would be in touch or hang out with her after work is mainly because of the children - no matter how great and truly loved by others here. If she moved away and changed jobs yes those people would be in touch with her for a short while but it would not be the same or everything would cease. She would in a sense have to start over.


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## pork (Sep 4, 2011)

I got a lot of social interaction at my old job. Now that I work alone, I don't talk to anyone ever. It's really depressing


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## keithjm (Apr 25, 2014)

I would not call work socializing. If the paycheck was not there, no one would talk to me. Proof for me is when we have outside meetings, cocktail parties, dinners where their paycheck is not dependent on talking to me. In these situations I am invisible to them. They have their groups.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

I don't socialize much at my new job. I don't really have to.


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## hobo10 (Apr 28, 2009)

YES! My job requires me to "float" to different locations so if I know the next day I'm going have to work at a location where I like the people...I actually get excited to go to work!


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## catcog (Nov 29, 2014)

The majority of the people I work with are older with kids, all very nice and funny. We don't have much to talk about though. The few coworkers that are around my age are easy and enjoyable to talk to. I do wish I worked somewhere that is more pertinent to my career goal because the people working there may have more in common with me. I work at a deli. Yup, I do 90% of my socializing at work. Hm.


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## Cylon (Mar 15, 2013)

Same here, I don't really meet other people outside of work.


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## soulstorm (Jan 5, 2012)

I've gotten pretty good at socializing at work. I even look forward to at times. But afterwards I feel so drained it doesn't sound appealing to do anything except spend time alone at home. I just want to be by myself and read, surf the internet or watch movies. My social life outside of work could be much more than it is, but I just don't have the interest or the energy it seems.


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## Omgblood (Jun 30, 2010)

No, I hate the people there. I want nothing to do with them at work, and become glad I don't have to see them outside of work. I've tried to earlier but it never worked out or nothing came of it so I just gave up


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## Lacking Serotonin (Nov 18, 2012)

Yeah most of my socializing is done at work.


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## ilsr (Aug 29, 2010)

I'm surprised I learned something in this thread. Much of my socializing was from work in the past decade. Now I'm finally learning people at work wouldn't have been that nice to begin with if everyone wasn't paid to be "civil" and "work together" in the first place, not discounting half of a typical workplace is full of jerks and hostile coworkers who don't care anyways about work conduct, and who pick on the quiet person already. Dang, I'm so naive. It all makes much better sense now depressingly concerning this aspect of work life.


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## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

ChuckBrown said:


> I don't have any friends or a girlfriend. . As soon as I leave work I have no life. The majority of my life is work.


Yup thats my life, just switch gf to bf...but thats my life till I get into school or meet people ...


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Same here.


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