# Third date done, future uncertain



## Nessy (Mar 3, 2011)

We had fun on the date at her flat, a bit weird silence type things (we were watching something though so guess its okey to be a bit quiet) but other then that okey. 

Felt the date went fine but of course I didnt do jack %&"# about being more physical :bash. Really annoyed at myself and starting to get gloomy thoughts 

I think she moved a bit closer to me on the sofa but of course I didnt move closer to her because I'm afraid she wont like it or it'll be awkward and she'll move away. I didnt kiss her on the cheek either like I had planned. And of course no kiss.

God I'm so pathetic :mum She didnt ask if we should meet up again either. I guess thats it. :sigh

How ****ing hard should it be to just touch a girl? Just a small thing like moving next to her on the sofa is impossible for me to do.

Guess I'll end up lonely after all :cry

Gonna go depressed to bed and hope for a better tomorrow


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## LostProphet (Apr 4, 2010)

Hey Nessy,

Don't beat yourself up just yet, just call her in a couple of days and her tone and attitude should give you a hint of how she is feeling towards you.

Like you said, you two had fun on the date. It's totally OK that you didn't kiss her or do anything physical, it was only the second date! Everyone goes at a different pace.

Good luck


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## DreamyDove (Dec 8, 2009)

Hey,... you posted this in the "Triumphs Over SA" section...., focus on the triumphs


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## Nessy (Mar 3, 2011)

LostProphet said:


> Hey Nessy,
> 
> Like you said, you two had fun on the date. It's totally OK that you didn't kiss her or do anything physical, it was only the second date! Everyone goes at a different pace.


Was the third one :/ Going to call her or send a text some time today and find out what the situation is. Just say I had fun and ask if she got plans for the weekend.

She did "plan" to take me to an amusement (sp?) park when they open during the date and asked me when my birthday was and think she plotted it in on her phone so maybe I'm not completely screwed just yet.

Going to try and stay positive  Had a "**** you all" attitude when I went to work today so barely had any anxiety which I sometimes have so thats at least something positive ;P


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## josephisaverb (Mar 8, 2011)

Don't jump off the wall yet! Call her again, act like you are interested, ask her out again, and make that move for sure this time.


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## Nessy (Mar 3, 2011)

Seems I jumped the gun on my assumptions. I asked her if she wanted to do something this weekend and she said she had alot of fun yesterday and would like to see me again.

Probably a movie night so will try to "make a move" this time. Will try first and see if I can sit close to her on the couch then put my arm around her then maybe go for a kiss on the cheek. (Escalate slowly so I dont push myself too far and of course dont do anything she doesnt want to do)


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## Nessy (Mar 3, 2011)

Plans changed so going to go iceskating then go a bit windowshopping and then get something to eat. Guess I'll have to wait till the end of the date when I drop her off to kiss her. Might try to hold hands and stuff during the date I think, then the kiss will be less of a big thing.

Dont think I've asked this but how do you kiss? :S Afraid I'm going to mess it up.


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## JGreenwood (Jan 28, 2011)

iceskating? Hopefully she will be awful at it and you can catch her several times as she's falling. Then you have no choice but to touch her. You can't let a girl fall on the ice!


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

^^Listen to her, and good luck. You'll be fine. It sounds like this woman genuinely likes you, so keep that in mind :yes


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## madsv (Mar 19, 2010)

Yeah it is quite clear that she likes you.

About the kiss, holding hands etc, try not to analyze everything. Sometimes you need to take some chances.

Good luck buddy:yes


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

I agree with everything Lost Prophet said except the part about not worrying about the kiss so much bc everyone goes at their own pace. You know what happens to guys who move too slow? FRIEND ZONE!!!! And of course every girl is different and expects different things, but I am SURE that you have put in enough time to go for the kiss. You've given her sufficient time to feel comfortable with you and to realize you're a nice guy and that you're not a creep. But you know that cliche "nice guys finish last" saying? While it's partially bull**** because you can be super nice and still get plenty of women, it rings true in the case of nice guys who are too afraid to take charge...too afraid to take a chance because they don't want the girl to be uncomfortable. If you absolutely can't stand the thought of the girl MAYBE being uncomfortable if you try to put your arm around her, then you are being desperate in a passive way, and the girl will smell that desperation eventually (I know in this case it's more lack of experience than desperation, but you get the idea). LISTEN... You have raised the comfort level, now go into attraction mode. Take charge and make your move or you will become that nice guy that every girl wants to set up with her friends but who they don't want to date. YOU ARE THE MAN AND YOU ****ING kKNOW IT, THIS IS YOUR TIME SO JUST DO IT!!!!!


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## Nessy (Mar 3, 2011)

Yeah, the friend-zone is what I'm afraid of so I'm just gonna go for it on saturday and hope for the best


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

sophieness07 said:


> kissing comes naturally. remember kissing should be romantic, not pornographic. by this I mean not quick or violent, but soft. kissing isn't a one man show, you can't just do your own thing, you have to "listen" and respond to her, what she is doing, and the way she likes- she will show you if you kiss her. best done with eyes closed and hands touching her hair or back. don't be afraid!


That is a pretty good description. Takes two to kiss.

And if she can skate then, I recommend sucking for a while so she has to help you out. Just enough so that she has to help hold you up. Then after a couple of minutes just tell her you were joking can cant believe that she thought you would suck at skating.

If your on the couch watching a movie, just grab her closest hand with your furtherest and put your closest arm around her. So as you put your arm around her you pull her in, dont have to say anything, if she is into you like it sounds it will be smooth and who doesnt like snuggling on the couch.


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## madsv (Mar 19, 2010)

Nessy said:


> Yeah, the friend-zone is what I'm afraid of so I'm just gonna go for it on saturday and hope for the best


Thats the spirit. Just do it


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