# Ask this girl out in a couple of weeks PART 2.



## Banks (Jan 12, 2012)

A few details about my story. I challenged myself to overcome my social anxiety to befriend and eventually ask this girl out. Everything seemed to be golden up until the point she said she already had a boyfriend - not only that, but he has the same name unfortunately. She likes me and I am pretty damn sure of it.

NOW... part 2 of my story will feature my new goal. I plan to win this girl over from her boyfriend. I will make the most out of our one class that we have together (its once a week). since this is the only way i can see her. this new goal will require me to speak up even more than i have for the past few weeks and if i want to attempt to win her over im going to have to be bold. the first part of my plan is - instead of sitting across the table from her - next class im going to sit right next to her. i will try to be upbeat and keep my courage.

here is part 1 of the story...
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f10/ask-this-girl-out-in-a-couple-of-weeks-163221/

i know some of you followed me in part 1 and if you're interested to keep following me i'd be flattered/grateful. remember any advice you can give me is greatly appreciated. just having someone to talk to about this really helps me improve my self confidence. let the game begin :teeth


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## Zstanmore (Feb 3, 2012)

Subwolf was right, you found the courage, youre the winner now. 

Well, If you want to win her over her boyfriend, you need to get relevant information. To find out whether shes happy with him or not. If she loves him, your second winn should be to wish her her happiness. If she doesnt, or if shes in doubt, just let her talk to you, just let her know youre interested and she would talk to you definitely. And remember /judging from my 5 year relationship/ - I do not know what a woman is but this can not be a human. She is constantly driven by emotions if these are reversed in minutes even seconds, and one can not listen to what she says because she does not mean it the way she told it.

good luck Banks!


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## Wesses (Jan 18, 2012)

^^^truth


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## ryobi (Jan 13, 2009)

if she has a boyfriend idk it might be good to find someone else


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## Whatev (Feb 6, 2012)

Plenty of other girls out there try not to put all your efforts in one especially when she has a bf. If shes happy with him then let her be and stay friends but if shes unhappy and constantly complaining about him, then good luck!


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## Subwolf (Feb 1, 2012)

Banks said:


> I know she's into me and now that this boyfriend is in the picture I haven't won yet. There has to be something I can do to shift the tides in my favor... I also feel like I can't get enough contact with her in class once a week. I need to be able to see her outside of class to improve our connection. If I could just bring her into my world I could totally win her over. I want to text her and see if she still wants to get coffee but as friends or something. i just need a chance where i have all her attention on me.


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## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

Good luck and keep us posted.


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## Banks (Jan 12, 2012)

*@Subwolf*, LOL that video cracked me up so much.
*
@Zstanmore*, I want her to be happy, I really mean it too. If she really loves her boyfriend then I don't want to take that away from her, but the way I see it is - the relationship might not last forever between them, so instead of giving up on her I'm going to try my best to test her to see if she could be happier with me. How do I go about getting that relevant information about her boyfriend without straining my relationship with this girl?

*@Borophyll*, I'm still open to other girls, but I really like this girl and I don't think I should give up on it just yet. I have to be really careful from here on out with what I say to her. I want to become better friends with her, but I want to keep that vibe going that lets her know that I'm interested in her.

*@Ryobi*, You're right it would be better to find someone else, because I'm just going to get more attached to this girl, but that is the risk I'm willing to take.

*@Lisa*, Thanks Lisa and will do! I'll let you guys know how class goes next Thursday.

Hopefully after telling you guys about what happens next Thursday you guys could tell me what I did right or wrong - what I should have done better, but I like your guys posts keep them coming! I need the advice.


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## Subwolf (Feb 1, 2012)

Banks said:


> *@Subwolf*, LOL that video cracked me up so much.


Well, actually I posted that because I really think you should "let it go" since she has a boyfriend right now. I just don't think it's a healthy idea to keep pursuing her right now. I mean, with all due respect, if you had a girlfriend and some guy was trying to take her away from you, wouldn't you feel a bit upset? Anyway, that's just my humble opinion, I'm not trying to tell you what to do. Sorry, I should of explained myself when I posted that.

I also should of used this shorter video clip. It's much more succinct.


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

Be prepared to get a well deserved slap in the face from her boyfriend, I'd consider it bad juju to interfere with another persons relationship intentionally. But if you stay friendly/flirty with her, then somewhere down the line when she is available you might be likely to get her attention.

But whatever you do don't focus all of your attention on it.

Make sure to go talk to other girls too!


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## adamac (Feb 1, 2012)

Good luck man!!


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## Silent Image (Dec 22, 2010)

Make sure her boyfriend isn't a 250 pound linebacker


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## andytenshi (Jan 21, 2012)

I agree with the others about letting it go. It's probably not healthy for you to be looking at the situation like "I'm going to steal this girl from her boyfriend" you should look at it as a friendship and be happy with that, and if her situation changes and you're still around then that's good. but don't be basically sitting in the shadows waiting to pounce on her or plotting and scheming to drive a wedge between her.

I think if things don't turn out the way you're hoping you'll be even more devastated than you are now and you could end up coming across as a D-bag.


I have worked with a particular girl for all together maybe 5 years+. for the longest time I've known she was attracted to me and I grew to like her as well. We would talk as friends a lot at work and flirt back and forth occasionally. I felt very relaxed around her and my usual anxiety around women was almost non existent. The problem was she had a boyfriend whom she had been with almost as long as I knew her.

I always hoped in the back of my mind that if things between them fell through that I'd be there waiting. eventually they did, and she immediately started dating this other guy I had never even heard about up to that point. It's been maybe 3 weeks now since I found out and I can still barely look in her direction.

I guess my point is that it would really be better for you to move on and not have your heart so focused on this one girl because regardless of how hard you try and how much you think she likes you it still might not turn out. just keep that in mind.


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## The Professor (Jul 31, 2011)

get after it! ...if you really like her. I did this once... only to lose interest in the girl and not pursue anything, or maybe it was fear.


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## Banks (Jan 12, 2012)

*@Subwolf*, I understand what you're saying, but I'm not trying to "steal" her from her boyfriend; rather, I'm trying to build a better relationship with her, (in a flirty manner). Who knows, maybe she even made that crap up about her having a boyfriend.

*@Andytenshi*, The same thing happened to me with a girl I worked with. I asked her out and she said she was seeing someone, but said it might not work out, so she asked if she could take a raincheck. A few days later she was dating a different guy. This isn't the first time I've seen this happen, and I worry it could happen again.

Man... I can't believe most of you guys think this is a bad idea. I truly value every one of you guys for taking your time to listen to my piss *** story, but this just makes me more disappointed :|. I know what I'm doing may not be right ethically. I just have this feeling that I should keep going. I've had to let go of girls in the past - it's not like I'm new to this, but like I said, there is just a feeling I get that leads me to believe I should keep trying to win this girl over. My mind is made... but I just want to ask you guys, can you help me? I know you guys may not agree, but can you at least give me advice to help me with my goal?


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## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

I think it is a good thing to do 

For you this is about getting over social anxiety. If you do not get out there and 'take' what you want you will never have anything.

The people on this board are mostly good people. A little too good sometimes. If you wait for the world to give you the time of the day then you lose out.

Nice guys finish last. Go for it :yes


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## Banks (Jan 12, 2012)

Lisa said:


> I think it is a good thing to do
> 
> For you this is about getting over social anxiety. If you do not get out there and 'take' what you want you will never have anything.
> 
> ...


Wow, thanks a lot Lisa. Your post means a lot to me.


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## Idris (Oct 17, 2009)

I'm in a similar position I guess. I really like someone at work. When I first began at work she was dating a guy. It began to look like she may be single a few months ago. Whilst I'm not up to a stage to ask directly I felt strongly enough to ask a friend to ask her whether I had a chance. I'm not sure she really asked fully as it became clear that the girl had another boyfriend - If I'd had begun things a few months earlier she would have been single to ask (though she may well have said she wasn't interested anyway).

In my case she seems serious about the guy (lots of declarations of love for him - and he does similar for her - on Facebook). She is fairly young though (22 this year) and she made similar declarations about the last boyfriend so I guess given time it may end with this guy too.

For me I think I'm aiming to push some of the thoughts of her out of my mind. I still need to develop a lot socially anyway so it makes sense to focus on this and try to improve. That way if she's single again in several months time I'd be in a far better position (having the compatence to go out places and do things) to sustain going out with her anyway. If she's not single in the future or if she is single but doesn't want to be anything other than friends then this focus on improvement will help me move on to someone else.

The general searches I've done on this tend to suggest most people advise that if the girl you like is dating someone you back off out of respect for her and for him (it would suck if you were to win her over only to find some other guy trying to attract her from you).


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## Banks (Jan 12, 2012)

Idris said:


> I'm in a similar position I guess. I really like someone at work. When I first began at work she was dating a guy. It began to look like she may be single a few months ago. Whilst I'm not up to a stage to ask directly I felt strongly enough to ask a friend to ask her whether I had a chance. I'm not sure she really asked fully as it became clear that the girl had another boyfriend - If I'd had begun things a few months earlier she would have been single to ask (though she may well have said she wasn't interested anyway).
> 
> In my case she seems serious about the guy (lots of declarations of love for him - and he does similar for her - on Facebook). She is fairly young though (22 this year) and she made similar declarations about the last boyfriend so I guess given time it may end with this guy too.
> 
> ...


yeah, *Idris*... nearly everyone has told me to let it go and find someone else, but I refuse. I don't care if "most" people disagree with me, because I'm not like everybody else. I've been reading A LOT about this lately *Idris*, and I'm not expert, but I have come up with some good sources that have given me valuable information. If you're interested, I can message you my google finds.

Here's the thing... she is not going to be in that relationship forever. I'm not going to *steal* her from her boyfriend. I'm going to do my best to win her over. This goes for your story as well *Idris*, I'm going to keep flirting with her and treating her like she means a lot to me. I want to make her feel special. If I were you Idris, I would do just that. Flirt with that girl and let her know you like her. Be enthusiastic and happy around her and make her feel special. I wouldn't wait until she's single to do this, because if you start doing this now then she will know you're available when she becomes single again.


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

It'll be hilarious when she breaks up with her bf and starts dating somebody other than you.


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## Idris (Oct 17, 2009)

Post the links here. I imagine there are plenty of others would benifit from the information (struggling with crushes is fairly common when you don't have the social skills to interact and express yourself freely).

I suspect I will continue to try and be friends with her at least, I'd hate to cut myself off entirely and then find myself looking back with regret.

I feel like I should use this as encouragment to try and focus on improving quickly. I'd be satisified if I could look back on this year and feel that, even if she settles with this boyfriend, I'll have given it my best shot and have grown from the experience.

Today, at least, I think if I can up my game and become more normal I''l feel better about myself and be far more appealing. If that's not enough to win this girl, then hopefully it'll put me in great shape for the next one


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## Banks (Jan 12, 2012)

*@Shadowmask*, that has happened to me before, but I doubt this girl would do that. I think it would be funnier if YOU were the next guy. :yes Thanks for your input Shadowmask.

*@Idris*, Yeah you're right, there probably are other people who could use this information too. And yeah, you have nothing to lose, but a lot to gain in this situation. Here are the articles down below, I took notes in a notebook so I don't remember all the sources, but I found some of them. Remember to not take all the information seriously on these websites; rather, take what information you think will benefit you.

http://www.lovepanky.com/men/how-to-tips-and-guide-for-men/how-to-get-a-girl-with-a-boyfriend

http://www.wikihow.com/Win-a-Girl's-Heart

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Attract-a-Girl-Who-Already-Has-a-Boyfriend&id=534692


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

@Banks - No prob. I'm afraid you may end up disappointed, though, since I don't go around looking to steal girls from their boyfriends.


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## Banks (Jan 12, 2012)

Just a side note, today I asked out a completely different girl, (I know her pretty well - she wasn't a random), but she already has a boyfriend. I swear the guy to girl ratio around here is 5:1. On the good side, I feel like I'm becoming more comfortable approaching woman and I'm not afraid to ask them out, but I am afraid of disappointment. I'm becoming less and less afraid of consequences that result from things.


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## ruxul (Oct 22, 2008)

Im in a similar boat right now. I developed a crush on a classmate. It took me weeks to finally get up the courage to talk to her. And we've had a few good conversations. Today I was hoping to ask her out for coffee or something but before I had a chance she mentioned having a boyfriend in passing.

Now I'm debating what to do...


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## ruxul (Oct 22, 2008)

BTW, how "well" did you really know the other girl if you didn't know she had a boyfriend? Haha


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## Banks (Jan 12, 2012)

ruxul said:


> BTW, how "well" did you really know the other girl if you didn't know she had a boyfriend? Haha


I've known her since highschool - we work together every now and then. She has a new boyfriend every other week. I pretty much assumed she had a bf already, because I'm pretty sure there aren't any single girls around here. The main reason I asked her out was to basically take a shot in the dark. I also thought that maybe she could fill my time temporarily until I win this girl in my class over - which is my main goal.


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## ruxul (Oct 22, 2008)

how serious is the main girl with her bf?


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## Banks (Jan 12, 2012)

ruxul said:


> how serious is the main girl with her bf?


she said, "it's getting pretty serious", so I'm just going to assume that she hasn't known him that long. Both of these girls I've been talking about were both really flattered/ blushing when I asked them so I feel like I have a strong chance to succeed.


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## ruxul (Oct 22, 2008)

I wish I were as direct as you haha. Im not sure what to do in my case. She mentioned staying in a 5 star hotel in Asia because her boyfriends uncle owns it. So it sounds pretty serious. That was a bit discouraging but who knows...


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## Banks (Jan 12, 2012)

ruxul said:


> I wish I were as direct as you haha. Im not sure what to do in my case. She mentioned staying in a 5 star hotel in Asia because her boyfriends uncle owns it. So it sounds pretty serious. That was a bit discouraging but who knows...


Ruxul don't let anything discourage you. The way I see it life is an adventure. Most people have no adventure in them and they don't attempt to try anything new/ out of the ordinary. I think we can all agree that our social anxiety has kept us from experiencing a lot. Lately like I said, I've been less and less wary of the consequences of my actions, ( I also could care less of peoples opinions of me).


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## Banks (Jan 12, 2012)

To anyone who cares today went okay.. i guess. 

When I arrived to class I said hey and asked her how her valentines day was. She said she doesn't really celebrate valentines day, (makes me wonder if she even has a bf), and she asked me how mine was. I told her I just played one man twister alone and she laughed and said awww and all that crap. I joked around most of the class and I dressed up really nice and was looking sharp as hell, honestly I thought I was looking like a 9/10 or even 10/10 looks-wise. At the end of class when most people had already left i approached her and said, "since coffee is out of the question howabout studying together in the computer lab? she said "well when does our group get together for our project?" and i was like "i don't know...,(pretty much knew she didn't want to get together)" then she said "cus we can get together then" and i responded with "ughhh fine" and just walked away and she said "im sorry". 

maybe i'm rushing things and i never tell her how beautiful she is. I should have said something like " you look gorgeous today" or something instead of what i said. whatever i can do that next time, but this week worth of waiting is killing me. i want to see her more so i can show her how cool i am. i just don't get it, all the signs were there its driving me insane. i've been single for like 10 years and i can't take it anymore. i'm a good looking guy and i'm always nice and funny to people but it's like nobody gives a **** about me not even my own parents. i swear, it's like i look in the mirror and see a perfectly normal guy but other people see me as some retard or something. i'm lost. i live by the motto that life is about creating yourself, its not about finding yourself, but im starting to ask myself "for what?". i've been far above average in everything i do ranging from sports to the arts yet it's all pointless. it doesn't impress anybody and i dont enjoy any of it. i feel like i have rid myself of all my anxiety, but what does it matter? i feel like **** because every girl turns me down - i feel like **** if i don't ask them out. i speak with confidence and never look away from peoples eyes while talking, but just like my other accomplishments it's pointless. :| as for everyone who says "you shouldn't interfere with her relationship because of karma or because it's bad", i've had girls cheat on me and completely block all communication with me and i have never done anything wrong. so if karma does exist when is something good going to happen to me? 

i'm going to keep trying with this girl and not give up, so i at least have something to look forward to in my ****ty life.


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## marcopolo94 (Feb 4, 2012)

The best thing y


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## Idris (Oct 17, 2009)

There should be other girls out there for you. I think it's a positive sign that she was interacting with you so well. The general advice when someone has a boyfriend is to back off a little and, if you like them, wait it out to see what happens between the pair. You could still maintain friendship with her and see where she stands in a few months?

I'm having to work on getting over the girl I like as well. I lack the social skills to interact with her properly so without massive help I tend to stay silent around her. I do think I'm improving, but it's happening a bit too slowly (maybe a few more months of constant pushing and I may be outgoing enough to hold a proper conversation with her).

For example I'm on a course at the moment and she is there as well. It's a four day thing and we have a few coffee and one lunch breaks. It would be an ideal time to try to improve my interactions with her (we're away from work and it's a small group so I should find it easier to find my voice). I've barely said anything or even looked at her throughout though. She hasn't been that visible during breaks, but others have managed to chat to her fine.

It's the last day today. Maybe I should just try to be a bit more confident around her and try my best to talk with her. It is unlikely that there'll be another similar situation, courses like this are pretty infrequent and most of the time I'm never in a group with her when they do. I guess I do overthink things (I'm constantly stressing whenver she's around and locking up). From her side of things I'm sure she only just registers I'm there. If I tried to talk to her I'd feel like I were intruding and being pushy, whereas she'd just see it as a few minutes conversation with someone she works with. Still it's very hard to find the confidence to interact with her (it'd be a lot easier if I could just work out whether she's going to appriciate my trying to reach out to her or not)


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## Banks (Jan 12, 2012)

marcopolo94 said:


> The best thing y


don't leave me in suspense!!! WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO SAY BEFORE CUTTING OFF! haha.

*@Idris*, I'm gonna try to maintain a friendship with her, but it's almost like she doesn't want to hang out with me at all because she is threatened by me moving in on her OR because she really doesn't think much of me, (like im unattractive or something but i doubt that).

As for your situation Idris, what really helped me with my social anxiety was citalopram(40mg) and a special medication to prevent me from sweating like crazy in nervous situations. I also dress really sharp, which boosts my confidence. When I'm at home I practice talking out loud to myself as if I were talking to the girl. Being able to hear myself really helps me memorize things I can say to the girl in the future. My family thinks its weird that I walk around talking to myself, but I learned not to care what other people think of me and this helps me talk to girls in front of groups of people who may over hear my conversation with her.

During you coffee and lunch breaks I would approach her and just ask her if you can sit by her, (i don't know the whole situation). Just start off by building a friendly relationship with her. Make a comfort zone so then she will feel comfortable approaching you and talking to you. Oh it's your last class? whatever that's some decent advice above ^.

One thing I want you to know idris is that every girl that has turned me down was really flattered that I asked them in the first place. Some thought it was cute and others wondered why I was even interested in them. As long as you're nice to them and show that you care even after rejection they may look at you in a whole new light. i still talk to some girls who turned me down and we're good friends.



> If I tried to talk to her I'd feel like I were intruding and being pushy, whereas she'd just see it as a few minutes conversation with someone she works with.


no no no you're not being pushy. trust me as long as you're really nice to the girl and interested in whatever she has to say they will be grateful that you took the time to talk to them. just carry yourself well though, dress nice and be clean, because that kind of sets the foundation for her mental image of you in her head.


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## Banks (Jan 12, 2012)

just a update here. since this girl in my class has a boyfriend already and it's impossible to break her shell i'm just going to take it slow and try to be funny and nice to her and drop the whole thing. i'm gonna try to be her friend the best i can, but at this moment i'm not looking to date her.

after asking her out and a few other girls... i became aware that rejection isn't so bad. i was even the laughing stock at my work for a week or so because that girl i work with turned me down. it didn't bother me one bit that i was made fun of, because since i became aware of rejection not being as bad as i thought i've attempted approaching more and more girls. i've gotten three girls numbers in the past week. i'm trying to be careful because i don't want to hurt any of them. i also learned that every girl is completely different, one girl will be crazy about me and absolutely out of my league while another girl will think im a loser and she isn't even the slightest bit attractive. i'm not sure if it's my citalopram or what but i haven't given a damn what anyone thinks of me. i've been so open with whatever i wanted to say almost like i am drunk. i'll even joke around with people or the teacher in front of the entire class. i've just been so careless and i think it's so awesome. i feel like a new person and now that these girls are entering my life maybe i'll feel even better.


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## Banks (Jan 12, 2012)

had a girl over tonight. had a good time and i thought for a first date it couldn't have been better. :clap i had no anxiety the whole time.


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

Sounds like you're on the right path now, good work!

C:


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## Wolfie (Feb 22, 2012)

Sounds like you're doing great man. Keep it Up!!

The thing about rejection(even talking to girls in general) is that you _HAVE_ to keep practicing!
Every time you talk to someone or ask someone out, it feels like you're at the top of a roller coaster and you're deathly scared to go over and fall. But, after the initial plunge, you realize it's not so bad and you do it again and again. The more you do it the easier it becomes.

You just need to keep doing it because when you stop and don't talk to anyone for a while, it's like starting all over again at the top of that roller coaster and you have to re-break down the negative thoughts we tell ourselves when we like someone and want to try to ask them out.

I've "started over" at the top of the roller coaster more times than I can count and to me, that feeling is usually worse than a rejection.
Good luck!


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## Sourdog (Sep 13, 2011)

Great job man, it looks like things turned out well for you! I wish my first date went well.


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## Banks (Jan 12, 2012)

Wolfie said:


> Sounds like you're doing great man. Keep it Up!!
> 
> The thing about rejection(even talking to girls in general) is that you _HAVE_ to keep practicing!
> Every time you talk to someone or ask someone out, it feels like you're at the top of a roller coaster and you're deathly scared to go over and fall. But, after the initial plunge, you realize it's not so bad and you do it again and again. The more you do it the easier it becomes.
> ...


i know exactly what you mean wolfie, because when i got into this phase where i was talking to as many girls as i could - i started to become fearless.

i spent the whole weekend with this girl. i was at her house all saturday and sunday. while talking to her, i found out that she views me TOTALLY DIFFERENT than how i view myself. while i'm negative and think low of myself she views me as the opposite. her whole outlook on life is so different than mine as well, for example i'm more judgmental about everything than she is. i can't even believe this girl likes me, she's gorgeous and she could probably have any guy that she wants. i think the reason why we get along so well is that we have somewhat similar upbringings. we have similar personalities and we can relate to each other really well. some advice for the other guys out there, i don't know if this is just an ability she possesses or it's something all woman have, but she can read me like a book. i'll try my hardest to hide something and she knows like exactly what i'm thinking. i'm not going to get too much into detail but i swear she can read minds. another thing i learned is that beautiful girls don't like being complimented on their looks, because they get that A LOT from guys.

thanks jimmydean, sourdog, and wolfie for your input!!!


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## identitycrisis (Sep 18, 2011)

Glad to see things are going well!

I think complimenting a girl on her looks is a very subjective thing - depends on the girl, no one-size-fits-all rule. Girls like yours who hear it all the time will probably find it annoying, but girls who may not hear it as often would probably appreciate it a lot. And there's likely exceptions to both of those.

Keep up the confidence man, your thread has turned into a very inspiring narrative for all of us single guys


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## Wolfie (Feb 22, 2012)

Banks said:


> i know exactly what you mean wolfie, because when i got into this phase where i was talking to as many girls as i could - i started to become fearless.
> 
> i spent the whole weekend with this girl. i was at her house all saturday and sunday. while talking to her, i found out that she views me TOTALLY DIFFERENT than how i view myself. while i'm negative and think low of myself she views me as the opposite. her whole outlook on life is so different than mine as well, for example i'm more judgmental about everything than she is. i can't even believe this girl likes me, she's gorgeous and she could probably have any guy that she wants. i think the reason why we get along so well is that we have somewhat similar upbringings. we have similar personalities and we can relate to each other really well. some advice for the other guys out there, i don't know if this is just an ability she possesses or it's something all woman have, but she can read me like a book. i'll try my hardest to hide something and she knows like exactly what i'm thinking. i'm not going to get too much into detail but i swear she can read minds. another thing i learned is that beautiful girls don't like being complimented on their looks, because they get that A LOT from guys.
> 
> thanks jimmydean, sourdog, and wolfie for your input!!!


Dude, You need to spend as much time as you can with this girl. She is probably what will bring you out of your shell more, up your confidence and make you feel much more highly of yourself all of the time. Girls like that are rare. In my experience, most girls are just too damn shallow and self-centered to even care about what you're thinking/feeling. It just seems like no one (around here at least) has a good personality anymore.

About beautiful girls not liking compliments on their looks: Depending on the girl, you don't really know if they have gotten them a lot, or not. I've known some really cute/attractive girls that say they've never been complimented on how they look, or they were always really shy so guys didn't really talk to them much.
Girls always like being complimented on how they look (especially if they get all fixed up for a date or something) but with some girls, it's the generic/everyday "You have pretty eyes" kind of thing that everyone says that can get kind of old after a while. Since they hear it a lot, it starts to lose it's meaning and not seem as sincere. You* will *stand out more from other guys if you compliment her_* mind*_ and personality more than you do her looks. Compliment things she likes to do or they way she feels about something or something she is creative in. It also lets her know that you think looks aren't EVERYTHING and personality matters too.

For instance, if she is really in to say... art or music, and likes draw or sing or play guitar or something, compliment those things. I guarantee you no other guy has done that before and it will make her feel really good. But always, *always* mean what you say and say what you mean. 
Good luck dude!:high5


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## Banks (Jan 12, 2012)

im back to give you guys an update. i need some help though, i've felt so down lately. sorry its a long read, but please read it.

so i'm still seeing this girl that i was telling you guys about. we've seen each other almost every day since we've met. we're moving out together in a month, into an apartment. there have been a lot of ups and downs so far. 

I feel like I've really given this relationship everything i have. i was the only person who got her presents on her birthday, (her family didn't buy her anything, they actually locked/kicked her out of her own house) and i bought her everything she wanted, she was so happy. one thing i bought her was netflix and i let her watch her shows while i massage her back and stroke her hair,( not just for her bday but i do this like every day). i take her out to eat and buy her what she wants. i do her laundry and basically serve any needs she has. her mom kicked her out and i let her move in with my family. im going to be working 2nd shift, 10 hour nights 6 days a week. i'm doing all of this for her and it's like if i don't get her a glass of water when she asks for one or if shes crabby she just takes it out on me and tells me how irritating i am and how disgusted she is with me. i never ask her for favors and it seems like she seldom thinks of my wants/needs. we always listen to her music, watch her shows, eat where she wants to eat. 

she can be so rude to me too. i'll be in the middle of saying a joke or talking about a hypothetical situation and she'll just say, "shut the **** up, you're so annoying". and that takes me from the really happy/funny mode i was in and just makes me feel like ****. she has never laughed at anything i've said and nobody has done that to me before. usually everyone laughs at what i say, i mean EVERYONE. my phone is packed with people and you could call any of them at random and just ask how funny i am and they will give you so many stories. not once has she laughed at my jokes, in fact they seem to make her disgusted with me. another scenario was when we were looking at apartments, she would constantly tell me "oh i know a guy who lives there", .... "hey i know a guy who lives here". and when we were looking at the apartment that we actually just paid the security deposit for, shes like "i ****ed this guy who lives here"... i just wanted to get into my car and drive off, it's like ... why the **** would i care about that? why would i want to hear that? im the annoying one though remember? LOL.

my really close friend moved to florida in middle school. i visit him often and he visits me. we really have no way of hanging out so we play videogames together. its now to the point where he doesnt even call me anymore because my girlfriend will shut off my xbox if i ever try playing it. she thinks its immature that i play video games.

there are times where she shows she cares about me, but when she lashes out at me it just makes me feel like what's the point. i haven't done anything that i've wanted to do in a long time, but what i want is for her to just love me. last night she just flipped out at me before she went to bed and i was so close to just slicing my wrist open after sitting around in the dark dwelling on my life. i think there would be a shock within my community, but i'd be forgotten after a few days. i was helping her get ready for work this morning and she said she had a nightmare last night of me killing myself and how sad it was. when she told me about it, it was almost exactly how i imagined it the night before so i was kind of weirded out, because it was like she could read my mind.

she has been the only person who seems to care about me lately and what relationship doesn't have it's bad moments, but i just ask myself what do i do to deserve this ****? when shes in a good mood i couldn't be happier, we have so much fun sometimes, but she is easily irritable so im constantly cautious that our great day will take a downturn. 

oh and i take care of her pet dog too. the thing doesn't even show any interest in me, but tons for her and im the one who takes the most care of it. all it does is **** all over my house and whine all night. the thing isn't playful at all with me, the only time it gives me attention is when i have food. 

i feel like if i end this relationship, she will just go **** another guy instantly to get back at me and make me feel more like ****. she has a lot of guy friends, (that she smokes pot with) and they all hate me. i've seen her messages on facebook with them and her guy friends talk so much **** about me and i haven't done anything wrong to them lol. they must think i don't deserve her and that they do...lol. yet she still continues to talk to these guys and claims that i'm "immature", but they aren't??? i know she loves me because she wouldn't cling to me so much if she didn't. who knows, maybe she clings to me because i can satisfy her every need like no other guy could and i mean literally every ****ing need. i don't know, i'm just venting to you guys - i need someone to talk to. maybe i need some time away from her, but i can see her slipping into some of her old bad habits and just dumping me.


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## Banks (Jan 12, 2012)

i just want to say that she isn't always mean to me, but when she is... it's like wtf did i do to you? is it just a woman thing? woman seem to just snap and be pissy for no god damn reason


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