# So ladies, how much money...



## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

does a man have to earn for you to have a serious relationship with him?

Notes on the poll numbers
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/1060181365-post116.html


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## earlgreytea (Jul 11, 2012)

I'm only 20, so it really doesn't matter as long as he's doing _something_ with his life.


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## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

I'm not a gold digger. If he's got a job and is working towards a goal, he's good enough for me.


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## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

earlgreytea - What is _something_ you would consider of value?

lyric555 - I'm not implying that. But money does matter as you get older, as you get closer to the stage where marriage and family talk becomes a big factor.

----
I know people won't admit it but money is as important for women as looks are for men- when seeking a long-term relationship. It just makes us feel shallow when we admit it.


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## SoWrongItsRight (May 9, 2012)

It doesn't matter to me


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Just for a relationship in your early to mid 20s it doesn't matter so much. If you want to get married more soonish then at least $50,000. More like $70,000 if you live in LA, SF, or NY. It would also depend on how attracted I was to the guy. If the guy is really my type then I care less.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

If your young it shouldn't be a big deal, but I can see how it could become a problem as you reach your mid-late twenties. This is something I'm starting to worry about. I haven't gone to college and I'm having a really hard time finding better work.


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## Mirror (Mar 16, 2012)

I think he should make at least as much as I do. 

Doesn't really matter though, as long as he's contributing and making an effort. I'd be perfectly happy with a simple lifestyle.


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## SoWrongItsRight (May 9, 2012)

ThatOneQuietGuy said:


> If your young it shouldn't be a big deal, but I can see how it could become a problem as you reach your mid-late twenties. This is something I'm starting to worry about. I haven't gone to college and I'm having a really hard time finding better work.


Same here. No one wants me


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## Cashew (May 30, 2010)

Mirror said:


> I think he should make at least as much as I do.
> 
> *Doesn't really matter though, as long as he's contributing and making an effort. I'd be perfectly happy with a simple lifestyle.*


This


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## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

So you ladies are saying I shouldn't be too insecure about my income status or occupation? I just turned 30. I used to not care about it, but then I started to when I was about 25. Around the same time I stopped hanging out with my friends.

It's basically the biggest thing that triggers my SA, depression, confidence.

I don't think I'm getting honest answers here besides komorikun's. Don't you girls want a nice house, nice car, fun travels around the world? Money is needed for all of that.


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## earlgreytea (Jul 11, 2012)

foe said:


> earlgreytea - What is _something_ you would consider of value?


Either education, traveling, or doing something he really loves...things of that nature.


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## Schizoidas (May 11, 2012)

I don't understand why it's such a big deal to women. Even if I made a lot, I still wouldn't be giving her any.. like, if we bought a house together or something, she would always be paying half


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

When I married my husband, we were homeless. Does that say anything?


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## SoWrongItsRight (May 9, 2012)

foe said:


> So you ladies are saying I shouldn't be too insecure about my income status or occupation? I just turned 30. I used to not care about it, but then I started to when I was about 25. Around the same time I stopped hanging out with my friends.
> 
> It's basically the biggest thing that triggers my SA, depression, confidence.
> 
> I don't think I'm getting honest answers here besides komorikun's. Don't you girls want a nice house, nice car, fun travels around the world? Money is needed for all of that.


Everyone would like to have those things. I'm not the kind of girl that asks for money unless I desperately need it. My fiancé actually gets aggravated with me because I try to pay for my own meals, etc when we go out. I would rather I earned big money So I could buy myself those things. It's so much more rewarding when you earned the money yourself.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

let me think....

"is that a wallet in your pocket or are you just glad to see me".


that kind of money - not. 

I make my own, thanks.


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## CoastalSprite (Sep 8, 2011)

Preferably around the same income level as me by the time our careers are off the ground. I'd feel insecure if he made a lot more, and strained if he was making a lot less. As long as he could comfortably support himself, it wouldn't be a big deal.


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## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

mynameislacie said:


> Everyone would like to have those things. I'm not the kind of girl that asks for money unless I desperately need it. My fiancé actually gets aggravated with me because I try to pay for my own meals, etc when we go out. I would rather I earned big money So I could buy myself those things. It's so much more rewarding when you earned the money yourself.


I hope there are more women like yourself than I imagine. It is definitely more to due with me being bitter about not having a good job/career than it is me thinking that women care a lot about money.

I don't know why I think that way, but I do. Maybe I'm the one who cares too much about money and status than I should.


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## T-Bone (Oct 1, 2010)

I can plant food, hunt, make love, clean, cook, and protect. Isn't that enough? Women are so picky these days. Gotta have a man with college education, money, a house, cars and all of that. :roll


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

20‐23 ~ $45,000‐$55,000 [Entry‐Level/Recent Grad]
24‐26 ~ $55,000‐$60,000 [Some Experience]
27‐30 ~ $60,000‐$75,000 [Manager]
30‐35 ~ $75,000‐$85,000 [Boss]
35‐40 ~ $85,000‐$95,000
40‐50 ~ $95,000 + [Exec]

I think that's pretty reasonable. Personally, I expect to be near six figures in my 30s though.


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## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

SomebodyWakeME said:


> I can plant food, hunt, make love, clean, cook, and protect. Isn't that enough? Women are so picky these days. Gotta have a man with college education, money, a house, cars and all of that. :roll


Without a college degree, good career, money, house or cars...we're nothing but scrubs.


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## orbero (Jul 20, 2012)

foe said:


> I hope there are more women like yourself than I imagine. It is definitely more to due with me being bitter about not having a good job/career than it is me thinking that women care a lot about money.
> 
> I don't know why I think that way, but I do. Maybe I'm the one who cares too much about money and status than I should.


Women care about looks more than money.


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## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

Some of the men in this thread are generalizing. All women are not materialistic and heavily focused on a man's salary. Like I said earlier, as long as he has a JOB and is working towards a goal, he's fine. Some women are attracted to men for who they are, not what's in their pockets. Don't focus on the media or bad experiences you've had because you'll think all women are the same. 

And like someone else said, if men want to generalize and say we're all after money, we could say all men are after modelesque chicks with big boobs and movie star faces. Both genders are shallow and superficial, just in different ways.


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## fonz (Oct 15, 2008)

calichick said:


> 20‐23 ~ $45,000‐$55,000 [Entry‐Level/Recent Grad]
> 24‐26 ~ $55,000‐$60,000 [Some Experience]
> 27‐30 ~ $60,000‐$75,000 [Manager]
> 30‐35 ~ $75,000‐$85,000 [Boss]
> ...


:afr


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## Fair Lady (Jul 3, 2012)

I don't care as long as he has job and ambitions.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter to me if they don't have a job either. I wouldn't accept it though if they had no money whatsoever, not even jobseekers allowance. I'm not gonna be the one who pays for everything in a relationship, that would just be stupid <.<;


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## Mimic (Jul 25, 2012)

calichick said:


> 20‐23 ~ $45,000‐$55,000 [Entry‐Level/Recent Grad]
> 24‐26 ~ $55,000‐$60,000 [Some Experience]
> 27‐30 ~ $60,000‐$75,000 [Manager]
> 30‐35 ~ $75,000‐$85,000 [Boss]
> ...


I hope you're joking, because that isn't reasonable at all.


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## thewall (Feb 1, 2009)

Doesn't matter to me. I definitely didn't marry for money.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

mynameislacie said:


> Same here. No one wants me


I don't see how that's possible :b


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## huh (Mar 19, 2007)

7 votes for 75k+ so far...lol. Are there dudes voting for that option just to skew the poll, or do that many women here really want a guy with that much cash?


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

$75,000 isn't very much for California or NY. Rent here is astronomical.


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

calichick said:


> 20‐23 ~ $45,000‐$55,000 [Entry‐Level/Recent Grad]
> 24‐26 ~ $55,000‐$60,000 [Some Experience]
> 27‐30 ~ $60,000‐$75,000 [Manager]
> 30‐35 ~ $75,000‐$85,000 [Boss]
> ...


No offense, you're also from California (at least judging by your name) and grads in other parts of the country only make half this much... of course they pay less than half in rent costs too than in California.


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## huh (Mar 19, 2007)

komorikun said:


> $75,000 isn't very much for California or NY. Rent here is astronomical.


I suppose location and cost of living in the area will make a difference. I'm not sure it explains all the votes, but probably a few. None of the 75k+ have spoken up yet.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

I can't imagine ever asking someone how much money he made.

I don't care, in any case.


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

Minimum: $45,000
Dream scenario: $100,000+

Take into account that I'm old and have expensive taste . My ex-husband made an average salary. With both of our incomes we lived comfortably. My SA keeps me in "back office" positions despite my college degree. It would be nice if my future man could make bank in order to compensate for this. I don't care so much for a big house. I'd like to stay in my 1500ish square foot house forever. Vacations and retirement funds are nice though. As are Louis Vuitton handbags...


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## RUFB2327 (Sep 28, 2008)

calichick said:


> 20‐23 ~ $45,000‐$55,000 [Entry‐Level/Recent Grad]
> 24‐26 ~ $55,000‐$60,000 [Some Experience]
> 27‐30 ~ $60,000‐$75,000 [Manager]
> 30‐35 ~ $75,000‐$85,000 [Boss]
> ...


Sorry, but you're out of your mind. That's not reasonable at all, specifically for your lower age ranges.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

RUFB2327 said:


> Sorry, but you're out of your mind. That's not reasonable at all, specifically for your lower age ranges.





Revenwyn said:


> No offense, you're also from California (at least judging by your name) and grads in other parts of the country only make half this much... of course they pay less than half in rent costs too than in California.





Mimic said:


> I hope you're joking, because that isn't reasonable at all.


I thought I was being INCREDIBLY reasonable.

It's pretty logical, look at it this way, most of the respectable people in my family/among my friends are making 100k+ and they are 40 and up. If you use that, and then consider that the average starting salary for recent grads with a bachelors degree is around 40 to 45 k, prorate those amounts among the rest of the age groups, it's a decent guideline.

Also, a 12% pay increase every 4 years or so should be *expected* when you are consistently employed.

You have to have goals guys, can't be stagnant in a dead end job forever!


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

I'd put a cap on $40k, actually. I'm not into people who have too much money, or people who act like they have too much money and buy things they can't afford. (This is of course assuming there aren't and will never be any kids, although even if there are I don't understand why anyone would need to make $100k/yr. What are you buying your kids, designer diapers?)


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I guess the major cost with kids is paying more for the extra bedroom and child-care if both parents are working. So $234,000 /18 years= $13,000 extra per year-per kid. Not including college.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/halahto...it-costs-to-raise-a-kid-today-before-college/


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

calichick said:


> the average starting salary for recent grads with a bachelors degree is around 40 to 45 k
> 
> Also, a 12% pay increase every 4 years or so should be *expected* when you are consistently employed.
> 
> You have to have goals guys, can't be stagnant in a dead end job forever!


Depends on the field, though. Some fields just pay sh*t but people love the work. Mine, for instance.

I think I'd rather date a guy who was passionate about his low-paying job than a guy who made $90k and hated his life.


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## Black And Mild (Apr 11, 2011)

calichick said:


> I thought I was being INCREDIBLY reasonable.
> 
> It's pretty logical, look at it this way, most of the respectable people in my family/among my friends are making 100k+ and they are 40 and up. If you use that, and then consider that the average starting salary for recent grads with a bachelors degree is around 40 to 45 k, prorate those amounts among the rest of the age groups, it's a decent guideline.
> 
> ...


I thought that was pretty reasonable to be honest, but at the same time when you consider all the people that don't make that kind of money you're excluding _a lot_ of people from the get go...


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

It kind of depends on what other qualities you have got going. If you are good looking then you probably don't need to make much money or if you have a gregarious personality. But if you are sort of on the ugly side of things and are not the most sociable then yeah, money can help a lot.


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## successful (Mar 21, 2009)

calichick said:


> 20‐23 ~ $45,000‐$55,000 [Entry‐Level/Recent Grad]
> 24‐26 ~ $55,000‐$60,000 [Some Experience]
> 27‐30 ~ $60,000‐$75,000 [Manager]
> 30‐35 ~ $75,000‐$85,000 [Boss]
> ...


lololol
You better be a at least a 9/10 in the face, Have a Amazing body, Have no kids, Never complain, keep it tight, & Give the best mouth in the city......If not you'll be crap out of luck at those standards.

A man making 95k a year not going to settle for less, unless he's senseless.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

pita said:


> Depends on the field, though. Some fields just pay sh*t but people love the work. Mine, for instance.
> 
> I think I'd rather date a guy who was passionate about his low-paying job than a guy who made $90k and hated his life.


I'd rather date a guy who was passionate about making money.

I don't like my job but I know there is huge potential $$ wise.

We like what we are...



successful said:


> lololol
> You better be a at least a 9/10 in the face, Have a Amazing body, Have no kids, keep it tight, & Give the best brain in America......If not you'll be crap out of luck at those standards.


What do you mean? This salary chart above is my OWN reference for myself (Im expecting to make along these guidelines). I think it is standard for everyone regardless of other factors.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

calichick said:


> I'd rather date a guy who was passionate about making money.
> 
> I don't like my job but I know there is huge potential $$ wise.
> 
> We like what we are...


Fair enough. If you're passionate about making money, you'd probably be frustrated by a guy who didn't care about it.

Like, I'm passionate about working, and I'm not into guys who'd rather not work at all.


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## applesauce5482 (Apr 26, 2012)

calichick said:


> 20‐23 ~ $45,000‐$55,000 [Entry‐Level/Recent Grad]
> 24‐26 ~ $55,000‐$60,000 [Some Experience]
> 27‐30 ~ $60,000‐$75,000 [Manager]
> 30‐35 ~ $75,000‐$85,000 [Boss]
> ...


LOL


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Black And Mild said:


> I thought that was pretty reasonable to be honest, but at the same time when you consider all the people that don't make that kind of money you're excluding _a lot_ of people from the get go...


Thanks.

Gotta cut the weak out am I right?

Beggars can't be choosers!


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## straightarrows (Jun 18, 2010)

foe said:


> does a man have to earn for you to have a serious relationship with him?


:idea:b why do you think God created Women?? :b to waste our money $$$$$!!!..... saw in your life a women that don't loe [email protected]


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## successful (Mar 21, 2009)

calichick said:


> What do you mean? This salary chart above is my OWN reference for myself (Im expecting to make along these guidelines). I think it is standard for everyone regardless of other factors.


I know & that's fine. All im saying is you better be damn near perfect (appearance, Sexual, attitude, & personality wise) if you expecting to get with a man making that much.
A (smart) man with money not going to take crap or settle for less, Unless he's much older & really serious about settling down...Otherwise as you give him trouble or he get tired of the relationship..... On to the next B**** >>>>


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

successful said:


> I know & that's fine. All im saying is you better be damn near perfect (appearance, Sexual, attitude, & personality wise) if you expecting to get with a man making that much.
> A (smart) man with money not going to take crap or settle for less...Soo as you give him trouble or he get tired of the relationship..... On to the next B**** >>>>


But why "do I have to be perfect"? (even though I think I am)

It's not asking ANYTHING unreasonable. If I wanted to date a millionaire, I'd understand that, but these standards are easily obtainable !



pita said:


> Fair enough. If you're passionate about making money, you'd probably be frustrated by a guy who didn't care about it.
> 
> Like, I'm passionate about working, and I'm not into guys who'd rather not work at all.


Those guys are the worst


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## successful (Mar 21, 2009)

calichick said:


> *But why "do I have to be perfect"? *(even though I think I am)
> 
> It's not asking ANYTHING unreasonable. If I wanted to date a millionaire, I'd understand that, but these standards are easily obtainable !


Why would a rich man date an average girl?
Not saying there aren't any out there that would, But in general.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

successful said:


> Why would a rich man date an average girl?
> Not saying there aren't any out there that would, But in general.


But that's just my point!! That's NOT rich.

I define rich as one individual making $150k ++ after taxes.

Anything under 100k is average


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## successful (Mar 21, 2009)

calichick said:


> But that's just my point!! That's NOT rich.
> 
> I define rich as one individual making $150k ++ after taxes.
> 
> Anything under 100k is average


Yeah you're right. 2+ Million a year is about rich.
But same thing applies to someone making $100k a year. Most not going to date an average girl.

you better be pretty damn good looking.


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## coldmorning (Jul 4, 2007)

I think there's some miscommunication based on region. 75k is not that much in some parts of the US.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

successful said:


> Yeah you're right. 2+ Million a year is about rich.
> But same thing applies to someone making $100k a year. Most not going to date an average girl.


Well I'm not an average girl. Anyways there are 6 figure men just swarming my workplace. I think my worth is around 175k to be honest. If not more.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

The rent on a one-bedroom apartment is over $2000 in San Francisco.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

komorikun said:


> The rent on a one-bedroom apartment is over $2000 in San Francisco.


True. But that's a really crappy city, so

65 degree average weather in July in CALI. Hell no.


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## VC132 (Sep 1, 2010)

^that's not cheap. 

im gonna wear white tee shirts for my entire life to keep ppl guessing


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## successful (Mar 21, 2009)

calichick said:


> True. But that's a really crappy city, so
> 
> 65 degree average weather in July in CALI. Hell no.


san francisco? Really Crappy City?
lol im done here, you must be joking or under the age of 15.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

calichick said:


> True. But that's a really crappy city, so
> 
> 65 degree average in July in CALI. Hell no.


Not sure if it's crappy or not but yeah, it's cold. LA has better weather but I don't really want to drive. I think the rents are cheaper in LA. More like $1500 maybe?


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## VC132 (Sep 1, 2010)

coldmorning said:


> I think there's some miscommunication based on region. 75k is not that much in some parts of the US.


which parts? 75k/yr is still a lot if you're frugal, i'd think.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

komorikun said:


> Yeah, it's cold. LA has better weather but I don't really want to drive. I think the rents are cheaper in LA. More like $1500 maybe?


Yes but that's just because it's more spread out. SF is one of the densest cities in America.

Anyways I can't imagine living somewhere where I couldnt tan year round. I need 90 degree weather.



successful said:


> san francisco? Really Crappy City?
> lol im done here, you must be a troll or under the age of 15.


*looks at your location*. Oh New Orleans? Wait isn't that like 45 minutes outside of SF :roll

/you don't have a say


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## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

calichick said:


> I think my worth is around 175k to be honest. If not more.


This chick cracks me up.


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## coldmorning (Jul 4, 2007)

VC132 said:


> which parts? 75k/yr is still a lot if you're frugal, i'd think.


Sf, Honolulu, NYC, etc. Average rent in manhattan is $3,400 according to this: http://money.msn.com/saving-money-tips/post.aspx?post=c6a45234-1b92-4cc8-88dd-898a94808ddf And studios are supposedly 2,000 - 2,400/month.

By the 40 x rent rule (which many landlords use) you'd have to make $80,000 a year to qualify for a bottom of the range $2,000 studio in manhattan.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Jollygoggles said:


> This chick cracks me up.


You wouldn't be laughing if you knew me.

Jus saying, I have an air of wealth.

Btw anyone who is not a Cali native I am telling you for a fact, the beauty standard in SoCal is 50x higher than in SF. No f*ing joke.


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## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

calichick said:


> You wouldn't be laughing if you knew me.
> 
> Jus saying, I have an air of wealth.


An 'air of wealth' is nothing other than a crass affectation. 
If you were 'old money' then you'd know how unrefined it is to even discuss it like you have.

Your conduct is a source of personal amusement and I wouldn't wish for you to stop for a single second.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

calichick said:


> 20‐23 ~ $45,000‐$55,000 [Entry‐Level/Recent Grad]
> 24‐26 ~ $55,000‐$60,000 [Some Experience]
> 27‐30 ~ $60,000‐$75,000 [Manager]
> 30‐35 ~ $75,000‐$85,000 [Boss]
> ...


I just struck oil. :teeth


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Jollygoggles said:


> An 'air of wealth' is nothing other than a crass affectation.
> If you were 'old money' then you'd know how unrefined it is to even discuss it like


And I'd be old money.....why? Am I going on 60?

I said an "air" of wealth not actual wealth . My household income is only around 180k combined


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## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

calichick said:


> And I'd be old money.....why? Am I going on 60?
> 
> I said an "air" of wealth not actual wealth . My household income is only around 180k combined


Let me guess, and be honest, you're 16 years old?


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## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

calichick said:


> Well if you can't remember my age from.....20 hours ago, I'm in my 20s. With more life experience than 85% of this board.
> 
> ^^ that's why people love me here


I remember now. 
You're the girl whose self-esteem, I surmised, relied entirely on external forms of validation. Nothing internal at all.

That's where all this 'air of wealth', 'people love me on here', valuing your worth against yearly income stems from.

Fair enough.


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## Black And Mild (Apr 11, 2011)

calichick said:


> I think my worth is around 175k to be honest. If not more.


LOL...I was with you until this point.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Jollygoggles said:


> I remember now.
> You're the girl whose self-esteem, I surmised, relied entirely on external forms of validation. *Nothing internal at all.*
> 
> That's where all this 'air of wealth', 'people love me on here', valuing your worth against yearly income stems from.
> ...


Correction, I'm the girl who thinks she's in the top percentile in terms of everything.

Think to yourself, some of the members here, who are like my "eternal haters" why do you think they get so sensitive around me? Consider *who I am* dear.

There's a reason my ego is as big as it is Lmao



Black And Mild said:


> LOL...I was with you until this point.


Like I said, if you knew me, you wouldn't disagree. People irl tend to think I have loads of money. Unfortunately I don't =''( I have money, but I will have more as I get older with more work experience.


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## applesauce5482 (Apr 26, 2012)

calichick said:


> Let me guess yours
> 
> 20-40 ~ $35,0000
> 
> ...


Ha ha nice try, but I'm not even 20 yet  Trying to guess how much I will earn at 40 years old would be a guess based upon close to nothing.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

321kyle said:


> Ha ha nice try, but I'm not even 20 yet  Trying to guess how much I will earn at 40 years old would be a guess based upon close to nothing.












Was referring to standards in other people.....not self projections...

man oh man


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## SoWrongItsRight (May 9, 2012)

calichick said:


> And I'd be old money.....why? Am I going on 60?
> 
> I said an "air" of wealth not actual wealth . My household income is only around 180k combined


What do you mean only??


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## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

calichick said:


> Correction, I'm the girl who thinks she's in the top percentile in terms of everything.
> 
> Think to yourself, some of the members here, who are like my "eternal haters" why do you think they get so sensitive around me? Consider *who I am* dear.
> 
> There's a reason my ego is as big as it is Lmao


You're better than anything you place in the top percentile of. You're worth more than even the highest annual salary. You're full of worth and none of it has to do with how you stack up against arbitrary measurements of this and that.

A big ego is not a boastful claim. Our ego, whether you knew it or not, is our defence mechanism against thoughts we are uncomfortable with. A 'big ego' in your instance could guard against threatening thoughts like, 'I, alone, am not good enough'.

You don't need to tell people about how much you make, how intelligent you are, how good you are at this and that in order for them to like you. They may just like you for being you.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

mynameislacie said:


> What do you mean only??


We're in a little debt so this amount isn't that great...

Well, I'm in a little debt. haha



Jollygoggles said:


> You don't need to tell people about how much you make, how intelligent you are, how good you are at this and that in order for them to like you. They may just like you for being you.


..........don't think he realizes that my "internet" self is completely different from who I am in real life....loooool.

Yes, sure, IRL I just talk about this sh*t 24/7 people want to smother me alive. Yea. Not.


----------



## pisceskyuu (Jul 29, 2012)

calichick said:


> You wouldn't be laughing if you knew me.
> 
> Jus saying, I have an air of wealth.
> 
> Btw anyone who is not a Cali native I am telling you for a fact, the beauty standard in SoCal is 50x higher than in SF. No f*ing joke.


external beauty right?

...for me, i see people who want to make lots of $$$ as selfish and the more money a person makes, the less desireable in my book. The Rich can not exist without there being poor people. It just wouldnt feel right spending/sitting on a bunch of money while many suffer.


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## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

calichick said:


> ..........don't think he realizes that my "internet" self is completely different from who I am in real life....loooool.
> 
> Yes, sure, IRL I just talk about this sh*t 24/7 people want to smother me alive. Yea. Not.


Well. There we have it so.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

pisceskyuu said:


> *the more money a person makes, the less desireable*


I'd lead with that line



Jollygoggles said:


> Well. There we have it so.


to be honest, the only reason why I come on the internet is so I can get out my deepest internal ramblings. . . I'm oppressed in my daily life


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Jollygoggles said:


> An 'air of wealth' is nothing other than a crass affectation.
> If you were 'old money' then you'd know how unrefined it is to even discuss it like you have.
> 
> Your conduct is a source of personal amusement and I wouldn't wish for you to stop for a single second.


:rofl


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

calichick said:


> 20‐23 ~ $45,000‐$55,000 [Entry‐Level/Recent Grad]
> 24‐26 ~ $55,000‐$60,000 [Some Experience]
> 27‐30 ~ $60,000‐$75,000 [Manager]
> 30‐35 ~ $75,000‐$85,000 [Boss]
> ...












You always make threads more fun to read!


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

I think at the end of the day it's all about living within your means - something my parents drilled into my head. Save like crazy, kids. You aren't guaranteed x amount of income and there is no such thing as a completely secure job. A person who spends money as fast as he or she makes it is not much better off than a poor person.


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

successful said:


> lololol
> You better be a at least a 9/10 in the face, Have a Amazing body, Have no kids, Never complain, keep it tight, & Give the best mouth in the city......If not you'll be crap out of luck at those standards.
> 
> A man making 95k a year not going to settle for less, unless he's senseless.


Yeah it does make you wonder what this girl looks like.. good looking people don't usually have to tell people they are good looking all the time.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Elad said:


> Yeah it does make you wonder what this girl looks like.. good looking people don't usually have to tell people they are good looking all the time.


how does it happen that whatever the topic is, it always turns to my looks? lmfao I didn't bring up anything about my looks in this topic. In my post about married men, someone asked me why I'm talking about my looks again. When I posted something about wishful thinking and false expectations, oh no talking about her looks again! Why are people so curious, curiosity kills.

Just take my word for it, I am really good looking. No more questions, no more comments k


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## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

Pics for science!


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## CosmicNeurotica (Sep 26, 2009)

Calichick, asking how much money does a MAN have to make, assuming you need a man to support your ***, then saying "take my word for it, I am really good looking" with no proof and such a bold statement, is giving you a bad image. Maybe just take those two things into consideration and continue to wonder why you have social anxiety.


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## Black And Mild (Apr 11, 2011)

calichick said:


> Just take my word for it, I am really good looking. No more questions, no more comments k


MMM nahh I don't think it works that way.


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

calichick said:


> how does it happen that whatever the topic is, it always turns to my looks? lmfao I didn't bring up anything about my looks in this topic. In my post about married men, someone asked me why I'm talking about my looks again. When I posted something about wishful thinking and false expectations, oh no talking about her looks again! Why are people so curious, curiosity kills.
> 
> Just take my word for it, I am really good looking. No more questions, no more comments k


Well in this thread you claimed to be in the top percentile of everything. Even if you looked great and had a good job, ultimately your attitude will make it difficult for you to find someone. You might be in the top percentile of a lot of things, but when it comes to personality and attitude you're way down. :|

Why would anyone who makes that kind of money put up with you if you act so apathetic and superficial?


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Jollygoggles said:


> Pics for science!


Considering the fact that I've bared my naked soul in all its ugliness on these boards including sleeping with married men and loving money over my very own soul and toying with guys as emotionless objects (also don't forget my apparent "hatred" of male virgins), you might want to think about asking for that again.



CosmicNeurotica said:


> Calichick, asking how much money does a MAN have to make, assuming you need a man to support your ***, then saying "take my word for it, I am really good looking" with no proof and such a bold statement, is giving you a bad image. Maybe just take those two things into consideration and continue to wonder why you have social anxiety.


I actually have very low social anxiety, I'm probably one of the more outgoing people on these boards. Obviously. Like I've said in some other threads, I've reduced my SA by nearly 40% in the past year. All due to self realization.

>> I don't need a man to support me, I expect him to be either equal or greater than me.

Understand? How much clearer do I have to make this? I probably make a lot more money than most of you.



Elad said:


> Well in this thread you claimed to be in the top percentile of everything. Even if you looked great and had a good job, ultimately your attitude will make it difficult for you to find someone. You might be in the top percentile of a lot of things, but when it comes to *personality* and attitude you're way down. :|
> 
> Why would anyone who makes that kind of money put up with you if you act so* apathetic* and superficial?


Please refer to my response to Jolly about how I act on the internet is NOTHING of how I act in real life.

I will admit though my standards are high, I'm in a type of world where I'm content with myself if no guys meet my standards. Which is a bit self defeating.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

*** Thread Advisory ***

*Yep, this one's on the radar screen. Keep it under control, please.*


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Just Lurking said:


> *** Thread Advisory ***
> 
> *Yep, this one's on the radar screen. Keep it under control, please.*


What's not under control, I don't see anything wrong


----------



## successful (Mar 21, 2009)

Just Lurking said:


> *** Thread Advisory ***
> 
> *Yep, this one's on the radar screen. Keep it under control, please.*


Come on, really?
Nothing extremely offensive hasn't even been posted yet.


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## successful (Mar 21, 2009)

calichick said:


> Just take my word for it, I am really good looking. No more questions, no more comments k


Pics or lies...


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## CosmicNeurotica (Sep 26, 2009)

are you sure "self realization" isn't you overdoing it, which will ultimately lead to another destruction? My question is if you're so confident, why are you still here then making topics? Sounds pretty trollish to me.


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

calichick said:


> Please refer to my response to Jolly about how I act on the internet is NOTHING of how I act in real life.
> 
> I will admit though my standards are high, I'm in a type of world where I'm content with myself if no guys meet my standards. Which is a bit self defeating.


Just because you type it instead of saying it doesn't make it any less you. There is no "internet self", its just the stuff you're too afraid to tell people in person, you seem to get off on making grandiose claims about yourself and the attention it garners. Do you think this is healthy or normal?


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

successful said:


> Pics or lies...


Did you miss my ever so eloquent response above ? lol I don't write these things for my health you know



> *are you sure "self realization" isn't you overdoing it, which will ultimately lead to another destruction? *My question is if you're so confident, *why are you still here then making topics?* Sounds pretty trollish to me.


Overdoing....what?

I never said I was confident. I said reduced my SA by 40%. That's nothing on the scale of actual normalcy. I could insert an offensive joke here but will not

I don't make many topics fyi, I think I've made 4 or 5 topics here and I've been a member for 2 years. I genuinely like [written] discussions. If you haven't noticed.



Elad said:


> Just because you type it instead of saying it doesn't make it any less you. There is no "internet self", its just the stuff you're too afraid to tell people in person, you seem to get off on making grandiose claims about yourself and the attention it garners. Do you think this is healthy or normal?


False, you were making claims on my personality. The personality is "*the visible aspect of one's character as perceived by others*". I think I've had this discussion one too many times. Personality does not refer to moral sense or whatever.

I don't make grandiose claims, I think that's where you're wrong. Perspective is an awfully brilliant thing. Like this is *REALLY* me. Think about it.


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## CosmicNeurotica (Sep 26, 2009)

Calichick, where are the pics? So we can genuinely discuss this, perque your claims.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

CosmicNeurotica said:


> Calichick, where are the pics? So we can genuinely discuss this, perque your claims.


I have pics spread all over the internet it's like a treasure hunt.

Can't keep them all in one place, that's no fun.


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## fonz (Oct 15, 2008)

calichick said:


> I have pics spread all over the internet it's like a treasure hunt.
> 
> Can't keep them all in one place, that's no fun.


Maybe you posted a pic of yourself in the cutest girl I've ever seen thread. Hmmm...


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## Hadron92 (Apr 17, 2009)

I'd only marry a woman at my age if she was really rich lol. 

seriously though, when I'll become really rich, i won't get married. i mean, what's in it for me? :roll


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## fonz (Oct 15, 2008)

Hadron said:


> I'd only marry a woman at my age if she was really rich lol.
> 
> seriously though, when I'll become really rich, i won't get married. i mean, what's in it for me? :roll


If you have to ask that,maybe it's not a good idea to get married at all...


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## Cletis (Oct 10, 2011)

What about a dude that doesn't work but is financially independent?


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## successful (Mar 21, 2009)

so you're really ugly or average looking with social anxiety faking to look good and barley have social anxiety? Ok


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

successful said:


> so you're really ugly or average looking with social anxiety faking to look good and barley have social anxiety? Ok


Are you talking to me or Cosmic?

I don't think I'm ugly or average looking. I get a lot of 'validation' (yes I know how much you guys hate that word) in real life. And you're probably thinking 'that's just because you dress provocatively. What do you expect'. But I don't, I can wear just jeans and a sweater and be walking down the street and guys will be turning their heads and whistling and gawking at me. I don't have the biggest chest or the biggest butt, but I'm tall, slender and classy looking.

So, I go by the amount of this attention that I get.

I only have SA around attractive men pretty much. And I have high standards. This doesn't help.


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## ViciousValentine (Feb 19, 2009)

I'd expect a significant other to be making at least as much money as me, its more that he puts as much effort in as I do so things are fair.

Also let me just leave this here.... 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning–Kruger_effect


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## Resonance (Feb 11, 2010)

I would never sleep with a guy who wasn't pulling in at least $10mil a month

*flutters eyelashes*


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## G i r l (Jul 30, 2012)

As long as he doesn't totally rely on me for money, it doesn't bother me. Maybe in the future if I'm married with children it would be nice (and practical) for him to earn a decent wage, but I'd rather be with the right person and poor than be with someone for the sake of money.


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## Tania I (Jul 22, 2012)

- Not how much do you earn, but how much your effort and willingness to earn
- Not how much money, but what's your attitude towards money (cheap/generous/calculated/careless,can you save, etc)
- Not higher or lower salary than mine, but what do you think and what would you do with my money.

that should sums it up.


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## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

To clarify the poll numbers, I live in a city of about 45,000 with the medium income for males at $35,500 and $26,500 for females. About 11.5% is living below the poverty line.

So anybody who's making more than $75,000 annually is making a good living my city/area.

For New York City, LA(and most of Cali), Chicago, Dallas and other big cities, their numbers should be double-to-triple the amount. So Calichick's original post wasn't that far off for her area.


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## user12345 (Jan 10, 2012)

To the people asking for photos, even if calichick was smokin' hot, would you actually admit that to her? Or would you just call her ugly or unattractive because you don't like her personality?

There's no point in her showing what she looks like on the outside when you've already decided who she is inside. And on that point, what she says on SAS is only *ONE FACET* of her whole personality. I don't think it is fair to come to a conclusion based on the words she types here.


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## Amorphousanomaly (Jun 20, 2012)

It's not really fair to expect your partner to make more money than you do. I don't make a ton of money, so it would be silly for me to have a higher expectation for my partner. As long as someone either had a job of some kind or was in school it doesn't matter.


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## Elixir (Jun 19, 2012)

R91 said:


> There's no point in her showing what she looks like on the outside when you've already decided who she is inside. And on that point, what she says on SAS is only *ONE FACET* of her whole personality.* I don't think it is fair to come to a conclusion based on the words she types here.*


Lol, then on what should we base our conclusion ? What else have we got available? In a forum, people are going to judge other people according to what they write in their posts.

So if, let's say, someone's posts reek of snobbery and superficiality, then said person is going to come across as such on the internet. You can't expect people to say "On the internet her posts are horrible and somewhat rude, but let's be soft on her in case she's a saint in real life". Wishful thinking lol. It doesn't work like that. You can't expect people to worship the ground you walk on after you make posts with such vainglorious and patronizing claims as these:



> But why "do I have to be perfect"? (even though I think I am)





> I think my worth is around 175k to be honest. If not more.





> Well if you can't remember my age from.....20 hours ago, I'm in my 20s. With more life experience than 85% of this board.
> 
> ^^ that's why people love me here





> Correction, I'm the girl who thinks she's in the top percentile in terms of everything.
> 
> Think to yourself, some of the members here, who are like my "eternal haters" why do you think they get so sensitive around me? Consider *who I am* dear.


See what I mean?


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

As long as he is doing something I don't care


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## John The Great (Jul 23, 2012)

I've not been on this site long, but I've seen so many threads that seem to think a worthy relationship is just black and white. They aren't.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

R91 said:


> To the people asking for photos, even if calichick was smokin' hot, would you actually admit that to her? Or would you just call her ugly or unattractive because you don't like her personality?
> 
> There's no point in her showing what she looks like on the outside when you've already decided who she is inside. And on that point, what she says on SAS is only *ONE FACET* of her whole personality. I don't think it is fair to come to a conclusion based on the words she types here.


Hahahaha I like you


Elixir said:


> Lol, then on what should we base our conclusion ? What else have we got available? In a forum, people are going to judge other people according to what they write in their posts.
> 
> So if, let's say, someone's posts reek of snobbery and superficiality, then said person is going to come across as such on the internet. You can't expect people to say "On the internet her posts are horrible and somewhat rude, but let's be soft on her in case she's a saint in real life". Wishful thinking lol. It doesn't work like that. You can't expect people to worship the ground you walk on after you make posts with such vainglorious and patronizing claims as these:
> 
> See what I mean?


Ironically I'm like Mother Teresa in real life.

Not even joking.


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## blc1 (Jan 8, 2009)

calichick said:


> Hahahaha I like you


I read your original post where you wrote that if the posters who dislike you saw you in real life they would take you for an angel. You imply that some people on here judge you negatively by the kind of character that emerges from your posts, but in real life this would not happen because you're very attractive/angelic looking and it's a shallow world we live in. I agree with you, but why do you seem to revel in the superficiality rather than find it regrettable? Isn't it less than ideal that beauty is so terribly important given the fact that it's fleeting and has no moral value?


----------



## thing (May 17, 2012)




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## clutchcity10 (Aug 5, 2012)

CoastalSprite said:


> Preferably around the same income level as me by the time our careers are off the ground. I'd feel insecure if he made a lot more, and strained if he was making a lot less. As long as he could comfortably support himself, it wouldn't be a big deal.


First I heard of this, you'd feel insecure?

I don't want to brag, but one thing I really, really look forward to do is take care of whoever my future girlfriend/wife is. Obviously, I don't want her to seek stuff from me, but I'd like to give it as a surprise.

If you met a man who did that, would that make you feel insecure?

Your views on money in a relationship is absolutely and undeniably attractive. If I ever get married, or find another girlfriend, I'd love one that thinks along those ways provided she lets me take care of her when I want to.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

blc1 said:


> I read your original post where you wrote that if the posters who dislike you saw you in real life they would take you for an angel. You imply that some people on here judge you negatively by the kind of character that emerges from your posts, but in real life this would not happen because you're very attractive/angelic looking and it's a shallow world we live in. I agree with you, but why do you seem to revel in the superficiality rather than find it regrettable? Isn't it less than ideal *that beauty is so terribly important given the fact that it's fleeting* and has no moral value?


I'm going to tell you something that I told Jolly on my blog.

Beauty is not fleeting. Beauty is everlasting. Beauty transcends generations. Beauty is the line between happiness and depression. What will leave me in decades will be passed down through genetics, of then which I will be more than happy to nurture.

As we become older and as we progress through the phases in our lives, we as women become less selfish and more geared towards the next generations in our family. This is important in life. We cannot always be stagnant.


----------



## blc1 (Jan 8, 2009)

calichick said:


> I'm going to tell you something that I told Jolly on my blog.
> 
> Beauty is not fleeting. Beauty is everlasting. Beauty transcends generations. Beauty is the line between happiness and depression. What will leave me in decades will be passed down through genetics, of then which I will be more than happy to nurture.
> 
> As we become older and as we progress through the phases in our lives, we as women become less selfish and more geared towards the next generations in our family. This is important in life. We cannot always be stagnant.


Beauty is a myth and can not truly be defined, and the worship of beauty can be dangerous. Physical beauty is largely culturally defined, which is why you prefer europeans. What would happen if your beautiful child was, God forbid, in a horrible accident that left them disfigured. Would they lose all value in your eyes? In life we must cling to the things that will sustain us in our old age when charm and attractiveness have disapppeared, and we must pass those values on to our children.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

blc1 said:


> Beauty is a myth and can not truly be defined, and the worship of beauty can be dangerous. Physical beauty is largely culturally defined, which is why you prefer europeans. What would happen if your beautiful child was, God forbid, in a horrible accident that left them disfigured. Would they lose all value in your eyes? In life we must cling to the things that will sustain us in our old age when charm and attractiveness have disapppeared, and we must pass those values on to our children.


Hold on right there.

Let's set this for the record if I haven't said it 10 times already. I prefer the LATIN race. I prefer mixtures.

Give me tan skin, deep eyes ANY day of the week.

I agree with you on the pass down good values, but I think you should know I view genetics as one of the most valuable commodities in this world.

I mean things like healthy traits like height and structure and facial symmetry and whatnot.


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## huh (Mar 19, 2007)

Wait...what happened here. Wasn't this thread about money? :um


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## blc1 (Jan 8, 2009)

calichick said:


> Hold on right there.
> 
> Let's set this for the record if I haven't said it 10 times already. I prefer the LATIN race. I prefer mixtures.
> 
> ...


ok. "latin" refers to the southern part of Europe, the darker mediterranean peoples in southern Italy, Spain, and France. I don't know how you arrived at the conclusion that genetics is one of the most valuable commodities in the world, but if that's what you believe. No matter how healthy, strong, attractive we are, we're all subject to deterioration. I'll just remind you then there have been many sickly or unnattractive people that have brought ideas into this world and their contributions were invaluable. Einstein was no beauty, Socrates was described as hideous, Jesus was reportedly homely, Dostoevsky had epilepsy etc.


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

ViciousValentine said:


> Also let me just leave this here....
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning–Kruger_effect


*snort*


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

blc1 said:


> ok. "latin" refers to the southern part of Europe, the darker mediterranean peoples in southern Italy, Spain, and France. I don't know how you arrived at the conclusion that genetics is one of the most valuable commodities in the world, but if that's what you believe. No matter how healthy, strong, attractive we are, we're all subject to deterioration. I'll just remind you then there have been many sickly or unnattractive people that have brought ideas into this world and their contributions were invaluable. Einstein was no beauty, Socrates was described as hideous, Jesus was reportedly homely, Dostoevsky had epilepsy etc.


Latin refers to a combination of indigenous american blood with Euro and Afro influences.

I arrived at my conclusion from basic logic. Our contemporary society is placing greater and greater emphasis on physicality and it's correlation to status and importance.

Why do you think the majority of people know more about Kim K and Lindsay Lohan than scientific research?


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## blc1 (Jan 8, 2009)

calichick said:


> Latin refers to a combination of indigenous american blood with Euro and Afro influences.
> 
> I arrived at my conclusion from basic logic. Our contemporary society is placing greater and greater emphasis on physicality and it's correlation to status and importance.
> 
> Why do you think the majority of people know more about Kim K and Lindsay Lohan than scientific research?


Latin is not a race, but that's not important. The supremacy of multi-national corporations, wage slavery, and the commodification of education are also features of contemporary society, but they are nothing to celebrate. People like KIm K and Lindsay Lohan are household names because our culture is spiritually vacuous and we have erected all these mini gods on the basis of wealth, physicality, and other such qualities. People have always to some extent worshipped wealth and beauty, but I don't see why it's something to celebrate considering those things are ultimately devoid of value.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

blc1 said:


> Latin is not a race, but that's not important. The supremacy of multi-national corporations, wage slavery, and the commodification of education are also features of contemporary society, but they are nothing to celebrate. People like KIm K and Lindsay Lohan are household names because our culture is spiritually vacuous and we have erected all these mini gods on the basis of wealth, physicality, and other such qualities. People have always to some extent worshipped wealth and beauty, but I don't see why it's something to celebrate considering those things are ultimately devoid of value.


La Raza is used in South/Central America and it refers to Latin (American) peoples and it translates to race in Spanish. So I'm using it.

I'm confused why everyone keeps saying physicality is devoid of value or importance.

What would you rather have beauty, money, fame, fortune or intelligence?

Out of all of those, beauty is the only one which cannot be learned, or which cannot be acquired eventually over time. Sure you can spend thousands of dollars (Michael Jackson, Heidi Montag, etc etc) to try to change what was given to you, but it'll never get you perfect facial symmetry. It'll never make you grow 5 inches. It'll never change your overall body frame.

I am being a *realist*. You can loathe and despise and regret (as you asked me, don't you regret that society is the way it is?) everything about this world we live in, that's not going to change anything.

The moment of conception when two genetic materials meet determines 100 years of a person's life, and largely be responsible for how well that individual fares in society.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

calichick said:


> La Raza is used in South/Central America and it refers to Latin (American) peoples and it translates to race in Spanish. So I'm using it.
> 
> I'm confused why everyone keeps saying physicality is devoid of value or importance.
> 
> ...


I love how realism gets blamed for THIS existing in the world. But continue, it's amusing in a horrible sort of way.


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## blc1 (Jan 8, 2009)

calichick said:


> La Raza is used in South/Central America and it refers to Latin (American) peoples and it translates to race in Spanish. So I'm using it.
> 
> I'm confused why everyone keeps saying physicality is devoid of value or importance.
> 
> ...


Musical genius, intelligence, and various talents can not be learned. Why is beauty supreme to you, is a beautiful person with low intelligence more valuable than a plain looking musically gifted person. Which inherited qualities are the most valuable? We can't say, which is why we shouldn't base human worth upon any inherited quality, especially arbitrary ones that can't be universally defined.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

blc1 said:


> Musical genius, intelligence, and various talents can not be learned. Why is beauty supreme to you, is a beautiful person with low intelligence more valuable than a plain looking musically gifted person. Which inherited qualities are the most valuable? We can't say, which is why we shouldn't base human worth upon any inherited quality, especially arbitrary ones that can't be universally defined.


Intelligence (versus common sense) CAN be acquired through hard work and dedication. I say this especially from my perspective and background because I was a slow child (no jokes!) and couldn't grasp basic concepts in elementary school, and then through my own will power and competitive drive of wanting to be the best, I've become recognized in terms of academia ever since age 12 and up. I spent hours, sometimes never sleeping, drilling my brain and obsessing over concepts, which forced this pattern and almost methodical way of reasoning into me and the way I comprehended certain things.

As for musical genius and various talents, these are pretty much parallel to being a supermodel. They are rare and are on the extreme limits, and shouldn't even be taken into consideration.

Instruments can be learned. Well. Talents, sports can be learned. Well. Practice makes perfect, not everyone is going to be an Olympian or the next Mozart, but they can sure learn it and acquire certain skills which can accomplish goals.

I can't judge which person, a beautiful person/low intelligence vs. a plain looking person/musically gifted is more valuable to me.

But I would prefer to have whatever quality is impossible to acquire. Which is beauty. Physical beauty is impossible to acquire. I'm just going to use a dumb example










So Courtney, the model, on the show, (2nd row) and the winner obviously she has the most *symmetrical face and well balanced dimensions and proportions *in terms of facial structure here (duh she's a model). What makes her stand out amongst this handful of women? Her LOOKS. Looks make or break you in my opinion. Looks = rank. This world revolves around the concept of *competition*/survival of the fittest. Beauty is a lot to offer.

By the way, if any of you haven't guessed, yes I do have BDD and am extremely obsessed even with my own looks and perfection.


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

calichick said:


> Intelligence (versus common sense) CAN be acquired through hard work and dedication. I say this especially from my perspective and background because I was a slow child (no jokes!) and couldn't grasp basic concepts in elementary school, and then through my own will power and competitive drive of wanting to be the best, I've become recognized in terms of academia ever since age 12 and up. I spent hours, sometimes never sleeping, drilling my brain and obsessing over concepts, which forced this pattern and almost methodical way of reasoning into me and the way I comprehended certain things.
> 
> As for musical genius and various talents, these are pretty much parallel to being a supermodel. They are rare and are on the extreme limits, and shouldn't even be taken into consideration.
> 
> ...


when I got to sheryl










was she voted in from the internet? lmao


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Elad said:


> when I got to sheryl
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 I dont know what was the story behind that, I never actually watched the show just some clips on YouTube because I thought Courtney's behavior was fascinating lol


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

improved numbers said:


> 23‐27 ~ $45,000‐$55,000 [Entry‐Level/Recent Grad]
> 27‐36 ~ $55,000‐$60,000 [Some Experience]
> 37‐45 ~ $60,000‐$75,000 [Manager]
> 45‐55 ~ $75,000‐$85,000 [Boss]
> ...


That is a lot more reasonable. It is what my life has been so far. Unless you become a rare successful entrepreneur or lucky investor to make a lot of money, it is really hard to make it high up in a company that fast.

Anyways, money hasn't done much for me with the ladies.


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## HeavyweightSoul (Jul 24, 2012)

30 women are liars. look at the poll results for their names


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## blc1 (Jan 8, 2009)

calichick said:


> Intelligence (versus common sense) CAN be acquired through hard work and dedication. I say this especially from my perspective and background because I was a slow child (no jokes!) and couldn't grasp basic concepts in elementary school, and then through my own will power and competitive drive of wanting to be the best, I've become recognized in terms of academia ever since age 12 and up. I spent hours, sometimes never sleeping, drilling my brain and obsessing over concepts, which forced this pattern and almost methodical way of reasoning into me and the way I comprehended certain things.
> 
> As for musical genius and various talents, these are pretty much parallel to being a supermodel. They are rare and are on the extreme limits, and shouldn't even be taken into consideration.
> 
> ...


I'll say again that it is largely culturally defined, which is why all those women in that chart are heavily european, western standards and conceptions. Historically, beauty was derived from the average, and ugly simply meant that which is not average, irregular. It was not thought to be an unattainable rarity the way it is in our contemporary society that likes to put pecuniary value on everything. I do disagree when people say someone such as courtney is self-evidently more beautiful. I disagree with it as a self-evident factual judgment rather than a dubious perception based one. Beauty is actually not a definitive reality, it is a projection of the fancy. It is an impossible theoretical elusive idea. Is a colorful canary more beautiful than a solid-colored raven? Are tulips more beautiful than daisies? Are the commonly shared physical traits of arabs more beautiful than east asians? My point is that it is arbitrary, and often conceived of within a racial context, which is why it is detrimental to idealize a single type. Anyway, I don't know if we should keep going with this. lol. Maybe we should just agree to disagree.


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## offbyone (May 5, 2010)

No keep going! I think the systematic study of beauty through the brilliant social experiment known more commonly as "The Bachelor" is very worthwhile.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

blc1 said:


> I'll say again that it is largely culturally defined, which is why all those women in that chart are heavily european, western standards and conceptions.





blc1 said:


> It is an impossible theoretical elusive idea.





> Are the commonly shared physical traits of arabs more beautiful than east asians?





> My point is that it is arbitrary, and often conceived of within a racial context, which is why it is detrimental to idealize a single type.


Confused how that makes any difference seeing that I am a *realist* and I take things for what they *are*. Not what they could be or what they should be but how things exist.

I don't care why I think the way I do, I care about results and winning whatever race the human race is going through. About coming out at the top.

Not average
Not subpar

Better.

And I'm doing a pretty damn fine job as of now. :lol


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## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

Amber B is the prettiest out of that gallery. Kacie at second. Nicki's probably third.

Only Amber B and Kacie really stands out for me.

Courtney is very average for a model, but then again a lot of models aren't that pretty. They just have the look fashion designers go for. Fashion designers definitely don't have the same taste as most men do.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

Whole lotta white ladies on that Bachelor show.


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## huh (Mar 19, 2007)

Oh...what the hell, this thread is sufficiently derailed anyways.



calichick said:


> Intelligence (versus common sense) CAN be acquired through hard work and dedication. I say this especially from my perspective and background because I was a slow child (no jokes!) and couldn't grasp basic concepts in elementary school, and then through my own will power and competitive drive of wanting to be the best, I've become recognized in terms of academia ever since age 12 and up. I spent hours, sometimes never sleeping, drilling my brain and obsessing over concepts, which forced this pattern and almost methodical way of reasoning into me and the way I comprehended certain things.


I'm almost scared to ask...what exactly are you recognized for in academia?


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## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

pita said:


> Whole lotta white ladies on that Bachelor show.


If we were to do an SAS Bachelor show with me on it, I'd welcome all ladies of any race and ethnicity. I'd probably pick more than 1 winner as well.


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## Melinda (Feb 5, 2009)

leonardess said:


> let me think....
> 
> "is that a wallet in your pocket or are you just glad to see me".
> 
> ...


This.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

foe said:


> Amber B is the prettiest out of that gallery. Kacie at second. Nicki's probably third.
> 
> Only Amber B and Kacie really stands out for me.
> 
> Courtney is very average for a model, but then again a lot of models aren't that pretty. They just have the look fashion designers go for. Fashion designers definitely don't have the same taste as most men do.


lol just want to point out, you picked the girls with the honkiest noses



















Pass.



huh said:


> Oh...what the hell, this thread is sufficiently derailed anyways.
> 
> I'm almost scared to ask...what exactly are you recognized for in academia?


Everything my friend. I have literally been recognized in every subject up through the end of uni.

I'm not even joking.


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## RUFB2327 (Sep 28, 2008)

I'm definitely jealous of whatever lucky guy ends up with you.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

RUFB2327 said:


> I'm definitely jealous of whatever lucky guy ends up with you.


you should, I'm the full package.

I have to work on my attitude and judgmental side though.


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## RUFB2327 (Sep 28, 2008)

calichick said:


> you should, I'm the full package.
> 
> I have to work on my attitude and judgmental side though.


Maybe just a little.

I'm not an a**hole, but I will sound like one right now, but you are exactly the type of person I detest. It almost seems like you are better off single because you hold people to such high standards in every facet of life, that no one will ever make you happy.


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## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

calichick said:


> lol just want to point out, you picked the girls with the honkiest noses
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Honkiest nose? I don't even know what you mean by that.

I look at their the structure of their face, not nose, to determine their attractiveness. Overall, those two have the best features.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

RUFB2327 said:


> Maybe just a little.
> 
> I'm not an a**hole, but I will sound like one right now, but you are exactly the type of person I detest. It almost seems like you are better off single because you hold people to such high standards in every facet of life, that no one will ever make you happy.


There's a lot of people that detest my 'kind'.

Unfortunately it's the very reason why people also love us.

Ergo, hate to love us.

There is something inquisitive about human nature always seeking to satisfy the part of them that is the least fulfilled in terms of knowledge and approval, I don't think you can deny that.



foe said:


> Honkiest nose? I don't even know what you mean by that.
> 
> I look at their the structure of their face, not nose, to determine their attractiveness. Overall, those two have the best features.


ok good luck.


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## SoWrongItsRight (May 9, 2012)

calichick said:


> There's a lot of people that detest my 'kind'.
> 
> Unfortunately it's the very reason why people also love us.
> 
> ...


Nah I do not love people like you. You are the exact kind of person that gave me hell for my looks growing up. Why take pride on making people feel like ****?


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

mynameislacie said:


> Nah I do not love people like you. You are the exact kind of person that gave me hell for my looks growing up. Why take pride on making people feel like ****?


False. We were probably in the same situation growing up.

Difference is, I took that as incentive to make myself 10x better.

I'll let you all in on something, you have to get MAD. You have to have a PUSH if you really want something as bad as I did.

Granted, I did have a good genetic foundation to build off of.

#reasonwhyimobsessedwithgenetics


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## SoWrongItsRight (May 9, 2012)

calichick said:


> False. We were probably in the same situation growing up.
> 
> Difference is, I took that as incentive to make myself 10x better.
> 
> ...


Exactly. You're either born with a good foundation, average, or less than average. It's not something achieved, you either have it or you don't. So why put down those who were not as fortunate.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

mynameislacie said:


> Exactly. You're either born with a good foundation, average, or less than average. It's not something achieved, you either have it or you don't. So why put down those who were not as fortunate.


I have never put down anyone in my life.

This is the internet there's a difference. This is what I think in my head, I'm a judgmental person like I said above. I'm obsessed with perfection and anything that falls short of that pesters at my brain like some malignant tumor that won't go away.


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## SoWrongItsRight (May 9, 2012)

calichick said:


> I have never put down anyone in my life.
> 
> This is the internet there's a difference. This is what I think in my head, I'm a judgmental person like I said above. I'm obsessed with perfection and anything that falls short of that pesters at my brain like some malignant tumor that won't go away.


Nothing is perfect


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

mynameislacie said:


> Nothing is perfect


You're right nothing is perfect. Perfection is infinity.

It's more about comparative standards for me.

Keep in mind I do have BDD so I'm a bit *mental* about this kind of stuff.


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## SoWrongItsRight (May 9, 2012)

calichick said:


> You're right nothing is perfect. Perfection is infinity.
> 
> It's more about comparative standards for me.


I compare too but I also don't have high standards. I try to find something attractive about anyone, because I Know how it is to be judged. It's a big reason I fell into depression. People are cruel


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

mynameislacie said:


> I compare too but I also don't have high standards. I try to find something attractive about anyone, because I Know how it is to be judged. It's a big reason I fell into depression. People are cruel


You should take that hurt and anger as incentive to make yourself better and strive to be what you want to be.

I get the last laugh now. You should have seen how much of a loner I was in grade school. Now I command respect. People are superficial. I'm taking it for what it's worth. You can see why I don't have much respect for a lot of people in general. lol


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## TrcyMcgrdy1 (Oct 21, 2011)

Redonkulous. I am expecting cali chick to be like a young Jessica Alba or something. Lol.


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## SoWrongItsRight (May 9, 2012)

calichick said:


> You should take that hurt and anger as incentive to make yourself better and strive to be what you want to be.
> 
> I get the last laugh now. You should have seen how much of a loner I was in grade school. Now I command respect. People are superficial. I'm taking it for what it's worth. You can see why I don't have much respect for a lot of people in general. lol


I don't have a good foundation but I try to accept what I am as much as possible . Easier said than done though


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

TrcyMcgrdy1 said:


> Redonkulous. I am expecting cali chick to be like a young Jessica Alba or something. Lol.


I don't have latin (american) blood unfortunately. I look more Italian.

And I LOVE Italian men. So 



mynameislacie said:


> I don't have a good foundation but I try to accept what I am as much as possible . Easier said than done though


I don't know what you look like so I'm not going to judge.


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## TrcyMcgrdy1 (Oct 21, 2011)

calichick said:


> I don't have latin (american) blood unfortunately. I look more Italian.
> 
> And I LOVE Italian men. So
> 
> I don't know what you look like so I'm not going to judge.


Just a heads up. You got some stiff competition here. Lots of beautiful women here, they just don't think they are!


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## huh (Mar 19, 2007)

calichick said:


> Everything my friend. I have literally been recognized in every subject up through the end of uni.
> 
> I'm not even joking.


That seems rather vague considering all the possible courses of study at a University. I think the reality is you're afraid of seeming anything less than perfect so you go to rather ridiculous lengths to make it seem like you are. I don't generally value a typical formal education anyways, but was curious exactly what your focus was.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

TrcyMcgrdy1 said:


> Just a heads up. You got some stiff competition here. Lots of beautiful women here, they just don't think they are!


I receive too much daily validation to flinch...sorry


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## MindOverMood (Dec 12, 2009)

So much hype, but she'll never post a picture.


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## Black And Mild (Apr 11, 2011)

MindOverMood said:


> So much hype, but she'll never post a picture.


That's what I'm saying...


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## SoWrongItsRight (May 9, 2012)

calichick said:


> I don't know what you look like so I'm not going to judge.


I look like a female


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

MindOverMood said:


> So much hype, but she'll never post a picture.


If any one of you were in my shoes I'm willing to bet you anything you would not post a picture.

Like I've said 5 million times before, do you even think its safe for me to post a pic after I've said stuff about wanting to screw my boss out of the other 50 things ?

Really ? Think for a second. Please


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## Black And Mild (Apr 11, 2011)

calichick said:


> If any one of you were in my shoes I'm willing to bet you anything you would not post a picture.
> 
> Like I've said 5 million times before, do you even think its safe for me to post a pic after I've said stuff about wanting to screw my boss out of the other 50 things ?
> 
> Really ? Think for a second. Please


I swear you full of sh*t/an elaborate troll posting stupid sh*t for sh*ts and giggles.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Black And Mild said:


> I swear you full of sh*t/an elaborate troll posting stupid sh*t for sh*ts and giggles.


No I can assure you I don't post for giggles.

If I ever do get the chance to sleep with him Ill let y'all know. It seems like we are getting pretty close these days.


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## CosmicNeurotica (Sep 26, 2009)

I'm wondering who and where your validation is coming from in your lifestyle. Because it's pretty clear if you were in our circle, well, I think the posts speak for themselves. Your real "friends" don't seem to be helping your case. I think you've pushed yourself way too far in the opposite direction in trying to find your peace with the world. You aren't happy, you admitted yourself that you have BDD and judgement issues. Maybe these are things you should be seeing a psych for. 

And please, try to spare me an "I'm better than everyone else" response. If that's possible for you.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

CosmicNeurotica said:


> I'm wondering *who and where your validation* is coming from in your lifestyle. Because it's pretty clear if you were in our circle, well, I think the posts speak for themselves. Your real "friends" don't seem to be helping your case. I think you've pushed yourself way too far in the opposite direction in trying to find your peace with the world. You aren't happy, you admitted yourself that you have BDD and judgement issues. Maybe these are things you should be seeing a psych for.
> 
> And please, try to spare me an "I'm better than everyone else" response. If that's possible for you.


External validation comes in many forms and from different types of people.

You have the negative validation and the positive validation, BOTH of which are equally significant in terms of self esteem.

*Negative Validation*

(−) Hate
(−) Jealousy
(−) Reverse psychology, i.e. faking a certain emotion
(−) Insults
(−) General Contemptuous Behavior/Actions

*Positive validation*
(+) Infatuation
(+) Envy
(+) Compliments
(+) Trust
(+) General likability
(+) Obssession

There's 1) *Verbal *validation (most common) 2) Validation by *Action* (feels the best), 3) *Non verbal* validation (signals, body language, facial cues, etc), 4) *Intuitive* validation from non direct interaction or communication (hard to read)

As for the who part, validation can come from anyone.

Including

Strangers (Most rewarding)
Non strangers
Friends
Family members (Least rewarding)
Coworkers
Bosses
People encountered casually in public venues (i.e. street, cafe, bookstore, public transit, library, grocery store, shops)
Social goers (to bars/clubs/restaurants/etc)
Salespeople
Agents
Waitors/waitresses
Teachers and professors
Children
Family friends
Authoritative figures
Travelers 
Opposite Sex
Same Sex
Professionals
Doctors
Students
People on the internet (pic validation) > almost forgot this one!

etc etc

Have received validation from like people above.


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## CosmicNeurotica (Sep 26, 2009)

That's nice, but I was hoping for a more personal reply. Not a wiki article. You just got the whole world figured out don't cha.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

hell to the no, you did not just call my response a wikipedia article.


hell no.

This is Calichick Psych 101.


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## catcharay (Sep 15, 2011)

He should at least have a stable job and be able to try very hard to find a job when circumstances are desperate.

Anywho, on a side note - Calichick, you shouldn't place importance on peoples validation of your looks. As you grow older, the amount of attention you're seeking and are used to won't be obvious anymore. Life is more fulfilling above exterior values.


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## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

foe said:


> Only Amber B and Kacie really stands out for me.


Amber B and Blakely are the only two who stand out for me. Amber's definitely the best :yes


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## blue the puppy (Jul 23, 2011)

im ok with not making a lot of money at first, as long as they have goals and are making steps to achieve those goals. for example, i dated my ex who made $20k as a graduate student, but now that he's graduated he's making six figures. its all about ambition.


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## thing (May 17, 2012)

calichick said:


> You wouldn't be laughing if you knew me.
> 
> Jus saying, I have an air of wealth.
> 
> Btw anyone who is not a Cali native I am telling you for a fact, the beauty standard in SoCal is 50x higher than in SF. No f*ing joke.


Are you sure you're on the right forum? I think you'd fit in much better here:

http://www.psychforums.com/narcissistic-personality/


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## Elixir (Jun 19, 2012)

calichick said:


> hell to the no, you did not just call my response a wikipedia article.
> 
> hell no.
> 
> This is Calichick Psych 101.


In spite of myself I found this to be hilarious lol xD.
*
*
*
Anyways on topic: Personally I think that it doesn't make much difference to me if he doesn't earn much money. As long as he is able to support himself and is not some lazy bum, then it's fine with me.
*
*
*
And I think this thread is gonna be locked soon. It has turned into bashfest much.


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## successful (Mar 21, 2009)

lol calichick is fake as hell.
I don't even want to see a pic at this point, she'll likely just post another pic that's not her...


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

successful said:


> lol calichick is fake as hell.
> I don't even want to see a pic at this point, she'll likely just post another pic that's not her...


I thought Twelve Keyz made this post earlier. I'm confused.


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## successful (Mar 21, 2009)

rednosereindeer said:


> I thought Twelve Keyz made this post earlier. I'm confused.


huh? Well anyway she probably is...


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

successful said:


> lol calichick is fake as hell.
> I don't even want to see a pic at this point, she'll likely just post another pic that's not her...


Don't you think I would've done that by now? Lmfao maybe 1 year ago?

No 2 years ago?

No, ...still waiting still here, still me.

And what do you mean post another pic that's not me? I've never posted a fake pic online before in my life. I find it extremely validating to post my OWN photos.

And you know me. Love that validation


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Elixir said:


> In spite of myself I found this to be hilarious lol xD.
> *
> *
> *
> ...


Nah, everyone knows these people really love me. They just like to tease because I have an insanely large ego.



thing said:


> Are you sure you're on the right forum? I think you'd fit in much better here:
> 
> http://www.psychforums.com/narcissistic-personality/


I have BDD more than anything.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

*** Thread Lock ***

*All right, enough.*

*Board Guidelines*:



> Personal attacks on any member of this community will not be tolerated. Any post, which is judged by the moderators to be defamatory, degrading, threatening, humiliating, insulting or hurtful in any way to another member of the community, will be edited or deleted at the moderators' discretion. Antagonizing or demeaning language that isn't necessarily directed at any individual may also be considered unacceptable.


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