# Dos anyone else clam up during therapy?



## rm123 (Mar 21, 2016)

It's like my anxiety is stopping me from getting help for my anxiety. I'm so nervous talkin aloud during counselling that I just retreat into myself and sit there mostly in silence, or give awkward half-responses. The only time I was able to talk to my current psychiatrist about my family etc was when I showed up drunk out my mind and started crying. But she's said that she'll refuse to see me if I show up drunk again and I understand that, just means I've never been able to talk about the issues I raised again after that day. I have a list in my head of things I want to discuss but when I'm in front of her it's like the words won't come out and I get so frustrated with myself. Does anyone else experience this?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## djp15 (Apr 16, 2014)

rm123 said:


> I have a list in my head of things I want to discuss but when I'm in front of her it's like the words won't come out and I get so frustrated with myself. Does anyone else experience this?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I haven't specifically experienced this, but I completely understand the feeling of clamming up in situations that, ideally, are designed to help. I'd recommend taking that list in your head and literally writing it down. There's no rules, no shame in doing so. Bring in bullet point lists of things that you want to discuss, subjects you want to talk about. You may not hit all of them in one session, you might only hit one, but let the conversation flow from there. That gives you some jumping-off point and guidance and direction in an anxiety-inducing situation, where you're supposed to open up to this doctor.

Also, a very helpful part of therapy - as meta as this might sound - is discussing your experience in therapy. If you feel uncomfortable there, say that. If you feel reluctant to talk about certain subjects -- family, dating, etc. -- more than others, share that. All of that information is useful and can be unpacked and NONE of that is rude to say to the therapist. In fact, it's the opposite - it's helpful to both of you, because it lets you delve into real issues and help you unpack yourself, with the therapist's help. Hope that was helpful. Happy to answer any other questions you have.


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## ilsr (Aug 29, 2010)

I've clammed up in the past when I realized the therapist knew nothing about SA, was fake and patronizing , or was initially rude, or even crazy yelling at me. Then finding out a few weeks later they were fired from the center.


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## 8888 (Oct 16, 2014)

I do, I sometimes have panic attacks while entering my therapist's office.


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## 629753 (Apr 7, 2015)

Nothings happening. I promisse. Almost 100%


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## Tsuba11 (Dec 27, 2014)

This happens to me consistently. Especially in classes. The first thing to recognize is that the anxiety is acting as an intimidation, and that intimidation or fear is convincing us that our minds are blank, when really that's because we're shelled up. To break free from that shelled up feeling, we gotta push through the fear of openness. Basically, overcome the fear of open communication. To do this, we just gotta trust that when we open our mouths, the right words will just come out. Communication only works in the present, in other words. It's not something that works when premeditated upon. It needs to be natural (in that very present moment of time). So before we speak, we just gotta grab a single idea (a purpose for talking) and then just say it. It will probably be difficult at first, but the more we just openly communicate our thought life, the easier it will become. It'll become more natural.  

But from an in-general perspective, I can understand exactly what you mean by this. I am quite shelled up inside my head a lot, and can only really open up if the environment feels comfortable enough for me, otherwise it's quite pointless. I'm apart of a gaming discord, and whenever everyone goes into voice chat, I always enter into it with my mic muted for fear of sounding like an idiot over the mic. -_- 

I don't have all the answers, but I can certainly understand where you're coming from as I can relate. But I believe the key to being more open is simply to just recognize that "blank mind" moment as an illusion. Break through it by simply just getting your voice out!


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## SwtSurrender (Nov 24, 2014)

Yeah same here, I get angry when they try to help me. Then I don't talk. It was working when I first got on prozac, but now it doesn't work anymore.


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## Lauralwroberts (Apr 19, 2016)

It took me 2 years to reach out to a doctor to talk to them about how I felt and I was shaking so much that she asked if I wanted to step outside for a breather for a bit, I get very clammy hands when in nervous situations like this and I usually start playing with my phone however it fell on the floor because my hands were so sweaty haha, and I also couldn't speak to her for 15 minutes because my throat would go really dry and I felt close to tears.. I honestly wouldn't worry about it though, because at the end of the day you're receiving help and yeah it might be difficult to talk to your therapist but you e done the biggest step and that was to get out of bed that day, get yourself clothed and to the therapist so you must want to help youself, you've just got to accept the fact that they are genuinely there to help you and that they won't judge a single word that comes out of your mouth regardless of what you say, how you say it or how you come across to them, just try to get to the therapists place a bit earlier so you can sit down, accept your surroundings and feel happier and a bit calmer before you go in? Hope this helps


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## SwtSurrender (Nov 24, 2014)

Tsuba11 said:


> *This happens to me consistently. Especially in classes. The first thing to recognize is that the anxiety is acting as an intimidation, and that intimidation or fear is convincing us that our minds are blank, when really that's because we're shelled up. To break free from that shelled up feeling, we gotta push through the fear of openness. Basically, overcome the fear of open communication. To do this, we just gotta trust that when we open our mouths, the right words will just come out. Communication only works in the present, in other words. It's not something that works when premeditated upon. It needs to be natural (in that very present moment of time). So before we speak, we just gotta grab a single idea (a purpose for talking) and then just say it. It will probably be difficult at first, but the more we just openly communicate our thought life, the easier it will become. It'll become more natural.  *
> 
> But from an in-general perspective, I can understand exactly what you mean by this. I am quite shelled up inside my head a lot, and can only really open up if the environment feels comfortable enough for me, otherwise it's quite pointless. I'm apart of a gaming discord, and whenever everyone goes into voice chat, I always enter into it with my mic muted for fear of sounding like an idiot over the mic. -_-
> 
> *I don't have all the answers, but I can certainly understand where you're coming from as I can relate. But I believe the key to being more open is simply to just recognize that "blank mind" moment as an illusion. Break through it by simply just getting your voice out!*


This is very helpful, thank you!


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