# Anyone used eharmony.com ?



## VivaLaVida (Apr 22, 2009)

Anyone here used eharmony.com ? Am I really going to have to fork over some money if I want to communicate with my matches who have put down that they want to communicate with me?


----------



## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

well I TRIED but they told me I had no matches, so screw eharmony


----------



## numero1 (Apr 7, 2009)

Shauna The Dead said:


> well I TRIED but they told me I had no matches, so screw eharmony


That's harsh


----------



## VivaLaVida (Apr 22, 2009)

Well, I guess I do consider myself lucky then. I did get matched with a dozen or so, and two 19 year old girls sort of started the next phase of communicating with me. The weird thing about that is these girls are 19 and I'm essentially 23 (although I'm probably like 14 in social years).


----------



## kikachuck (Nov 10, 2003)

Shauna The Dead said:


> well I TRIED but they told me I had no matches, so screw eharmony


I never liked that particular quality of eharmony. Their commercials are all lovey dovey with happy couples hugging and kissing w/ nice music. In reality, though, they are a perfect example of how cold the dating world can be :lol


----------



## Chiro2b2 (Mar 29, 2009)

I have thought about it, the first two times (masochistic here) I didn't meet their criteria, I took the test (healing) and I have matches, that's kinda scary;-)

Anyway, my ex met his wife on e-harmony, they now have a baby. I'm not jealous or anything, I'm not, really, I'm not:no:b


----------



## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

I never used eHarmony but did have success with Match.Com many, many years ago (late 90s).


----------



## Akane (Jan 2, 2008)

I've had my say about eharmony plenty of times. They are very picky about who they'll let join. I've only heard a few people say they got accepted and haven't really talked to any of them. Eharmony pretty much only takes people who they can match to the majority out there and want a permanent relationship. That's how they can boast such a high match rate. Personally I much prefer okcupid and have had plenty of success there. I've met several people, dated a couple, and am currently living with a guy I met off okcupid. Plentyoffish.com kind of works. I met a few people, talked to a few on the phone, but there were far too many creepy guys, 40+ year old stalkers going after girls in their late teens to early 20s, and guys just looking for one night stands. None that I talked to were anyone I'd want to date.


----------



## scaredtolive (Mar 19, 2009)

I tried it. It was a complete waste of time and money. It's expensive too and you have to change your settings or they keep charging you after your subscription expires. Those commercials make it look so easy. What a load of ****. I'm not datable though so I probably shouldn't have gotten my hopes up.


----------



## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Not a chance that eharmony could find anybody who matchs me. I'd be tossed in their reject pile. They reject people who are a hundred times closer to "normal" than I am.


----------



## fern (Nov 16, 2008)

Shauna The Dead said:


> well I TRIED but they told me I had no matches.


Me too.


----------



## mardy423 (Aug 27, 2008)

I tried to use it a few days ago actually. It said I had no matches and that it happens to about 20% of people who use that site. Guess I'm just the odd one out.


----------



## VivaLaVida (Apr 22, 2009)

I have matches, but the problem is a couple of them have requested that I put up a picture. The problem is I know someone who has several good pictures of me, but I'm too afraid to ask to see if I could use one of those (anxiety anyone?)


----------



## JS86 (Jun 16, 2009)

VivaLaVida said:


> I have matches, but the problem is a couple of them have requested that I put up a picture. The problem is I know someone who has several good pictures of me, but I'm too afraid to ask to see if I could use one of those (anxiety anyone?)


They're pictures of YOU. You have a right to request copies, dammit! :mum

Good luck with that. Photos are essential since one of the first things people do when it comes to dating, whether you like it or not, is determine whether they personally find you attractive. They don't want to waste time going on a date and spending time and money on someone they have no physical chemistry with.


----------



## Stanley (May 11, 2007)

I've been registered on a dating website only once back in like 99, when I was still in high school. I think it was called, American Singles, or something like that. 2 months later I deleted my profile after failing to get a response from anyone I've e-mailed. Also I think male to female ratio on there was like 4:1. I remember my sister registered on there as well, and she got like 500 messages in her inbox in just a few hours :lol


----------



## EagerMinnow84 (Sep 1, 2007)

Shauna The Dead said:


> well I TRIED but they told me I had no matches, so screw eharmony


That happened to me too.


----------



## shygirl14 (May 23, 2009)

I tried it a few years ago, it's expensive. Most of the matches I had were not who they said they were (anyone can lie just to meet someone). I' m sure there are success stories, I don't hear them that often. 

shy


----------



## bloggingagainstSA (Feb 15, 2008)

I haven't tried it myself but from what I've heard it's a real pain. I had a pretty good (although sometimes frustrating) experience with Match though. I'd recommend that over the others.


----------



## alohomora (Apr 5, 2009)

I got rejected from eharmony. I thought it was freaking hilarious. Of course, I had a good excuse for being rejected. The day I took their survey, I was REALLY depressed and angry and had terribly low self-esteem. So when they asked me to rate my personality, intelligence, skills, etc. I put none or almost none for everything, hahaha.


----------



## PolarBear (Jun 23, 2009)

I had the same thing happen to me as a few others in this post, no matches. Not really a surprise though considering our.....unique mental chemistry 
I like to think that at least trying is better than wallowing in my own self pity


----------



## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

I got rejected from eharmony. I only took the test (over a year ago it was) to see if they'd accept me or not. 

I would not pay to use a dating site when there are decent free options out there.


----------



## kenny87 (Feb 22, 2009)

there has been quite a few complaints about eharmony on this forum before, though I have never done dating sites so I can't speak on it.

As far as if I use it I am not sure, I may or may not be on it

Story:

My sister wanted to go to borders so I told her to check her email for any coupons as we both are subscribed to the free email coupon thing they have. She gets on her email in the living room while I am there I glance at her list of emails as she is deleting them, I see one addressed to a guy with my middle name(what I go by at home) and its from eharmony. I ask her what it is and she says "oh, just something me and my friend were playing around with" and I say " oh, so you just happen to know a guy with my name you want to sign up to e harmony" and she goes "yea."


I know you have to pay for it and she is only 15 and has no credit card or anything so she can't do much though I don't think.


----------



## VivaLaVida (Apr 22, 2009)

Well, I just wanted to see, so I joined for one month. It's weird sort of seeing who I supposedly match with. To be honest, I don't think I would have given but maybe two or three or so out of the 2-3 dozen girls a second look. Not because all the girls were ugly, but there is a certain undescribable quality I look for in a person's appearance (there is a difference between appearance and looks). Probably a waste of money, but it feels good to know what I now know about this stuff.


----------



## Phronima (Jan 17, 2009)

Another rejected :boogie


----------



## Miss T (Jun 17, 2009)

I signed up a few weeks ago and received numerous matches. The day I signed up, I actually had a guy contact me. We seemed to have a lot in common and he seemed to be a great guy. We communicated daily through the site for over a week, then the emails slowed. I found out today that he's on a trip with this girlfriend.


----------



## rickthegreat (Dec 22, 2008)

Miss T said:


> I found out today that he's on a trip with this girlfriend.


Ouch. Sorry about that Miss.

As far as Eharmony, I would give it a B- or a C. They really try hard but my complaint is that they match you with people kinda of opposite you somewhat. People that "compliment" you. As opposed to PerfectMatch which I think matches you with someone more your type. Match.com I think also does that, or they let you change your settings to find people more like yourself.

Also communication can be slow. There's a "fast track" thingy where you can request immediate e-mail communication, but most people like "guided communication." Before that it's this kind of insipid questionnaire that you send back and forth like "Where is your ideal vacation." It get's a little old.

But I mean it's ok.

BTW I think there is a way to game Eharmony's pricing. Sign up and create a profile, but don't actually pay yet. After a few days a coupon should come to your e-mail. I get them for %65 off all the time. It started at %35. 

So I mean I would recommend it. It's alright. The other ones seem cool to. Have you checked out PlentyofFish.com (eh kinda crazy) or OKCUpid.com or, Downtoearth.com ? They're all free and the last one is from the people at Match.com

I want to sign up for all of them and have a competition. :b If I meet someone in person that's better than the internet ones, I'll ask for my money back. :b


----------



## aviationboy (Jan 9, 2009)

yeah i've tried it. was given 11 matches in my area. sent ice breakers to all of them but never had any replies....

so i copied the personality description and went on my merry way


----------



## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

It wasn't eharmony but I'm sure I tried one of those dating sites once. I filled in all my info and even put up a pic. I forgot about it for like 2 years or something and checked the email I gave them. Not one message. :haha It seems social outcasts aren't very popular. 

The funny thing about dating sites is that most people who can afford to be picky probably don't need them but they're full of picky people. 

I learned my lesson years ago when I was 20 or something. I tried using this dating line I found in the phone book. I put my message on there and checked every day to see if I had any messages. One day I did and she turned out to be a hooker. Believe it or not, I was tempted.


----------



## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

I'm boycotting eHarmony. They didn't allow LGBT people onto their site until they were sued, and even when they did finally agree to match LGBT people, they made a separate (but equal) site for them. Besides, I heard they support groups against gay marriage.

I tried okcupid, emailed maybe two dozen women, got a few responses, but no dates. Eventually, I started feeling humiliated by being rejected by women's absolute silence, so I quit. But I think I'll try it again if I can get a six pack and a picture of it sometime soon.


----------



## dunky (Jul 10, 2009)

Eharmony is a very, very very very very very, religious site. They are some branch of Christianity, and very into it. Lots of people don't get matches simply because they chose to select a religion that did not coincide with Eharmony. If you get rejected from Eharmony, don't take it personally and think it's your fault, it's their fault. It's almost as if you go to a health food store trying to buy junk food. They might have some, but it's not a big seller.


----------



## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

dunky said:


> It's almost as if you go to a health food store trying to buy junk food. They might have some, but it's not a big seller.


I prefer to see it as like going to a junk food store trying to buy healthy food...


----------



## Cerrada (May 26, 2009)

lawls no matches. xD Oh well.


----------



## mountain5 (May 22, 2008)

Yeah, eHarmony is a religion-based business, however they market it. I've never tried it myself, they seem to market it for women who want a marriage partner, and that's really not what I'm looking for.


----------



## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

I just took the personality quiz to see how I would fare.

Like most people here, I got no matches.:b


----------



## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

STKinTHEmud said:


> I prefer to see it as like going to a junk food store trying to buy healthy food...


 In deed!


----------



## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

mountain5 said:


> Yeah, eHarmony is a religion-based business, however they market it.


 You know, I kind of knew that I got that sort of creepy religious vibe from their commercials all along. I recognized it like a vaguely familiar scent but couldn't quite place it until someone just told me about it on some web site.


----------



## PolarBear (Jun 23, 2009)

dunky said:


> Eharmony is a very, very very very very very, religious site. They are some branch of Christianity, and very into it. Lots of people don't get matches simply because they chose to select a religion that did not coincide with Eharmony. If you get rejected from Eharmony, don't take it personally and think it's your fault, it's their fault. It's almost as if you go to a health food store trying to buy junk food. They might have some, but it's not a big seller.


You say this like people having religious beliefs is a horrible thing.

I joined about 2 weeks ago, after filling out the questionnaire a second time when i was feeling better about myself than the first time i filled it out. I've gotten a large number of matches since then with a decent number of them either having no religion or have pegged themselves as spiritual but not religious.


----------



## mountain5 (May 22, 2008)

I don't think it's "horrible" that the company is religious, and I don't think they do anything to block people on a religious basis. They probably believe that their questionnaire really works. As long as you score within whatever parameters they set, they'll let you in.

I guess I'm not a big fan of questionnaire-based matching in general. Every questionnaire that I take in good faith makes me come out as dishonest, neurotic, clinically depressed, you name it. I might try the site someday, but it's not my first preference.


----------



## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

PolarBear said:


> You say this like people having religious beliefs is a horrible thing.


 It's not as long as you don't push it on others. A lot of religious people do (or try to). I've heard the thing about the eharmony people being very religious from more than a few completely unrelated sources so I tend to believe it. I have no real problem with them running it as a religious business but it would be nice if they just came right out and said it instead of pretending they're a dating site for everyone.


----------



## VivaLaVida (Apr 22, 2009)

Well, I started the thread, and yes, I am sort of a religious type.

Secondly, I find most of the profiles on there are of the hypocritical religious type. That's not something I should explain in a thread about eharmony.

Thirdly, most of the profiles on there, at the least the ones I have matched with, are of the free variety. So, you basically can't communicate at all. I had some money to waste so I signed up for a month just to see.


----------



## dunky (Jul 10, 2009)

PolarBear said:


> You say this like people having religious beliefs is a horrible thing.
> 
> I joined about 2 weeks ago, after filling out the questionnaire a second time when i was feeling better about myself than the first time i filled it out. I've gotten a large number of matches since then with a decent number of them either having no religion or have pegged themselves as spiritual but not religious.


Not at all what I said. Having religious beliefs is not a horrible thing, but pushing them onto others or discriminating based off of them is, in fact, a horrible thing.


----------



## PolarBear (Jun 23, 2009)

I agree with everything you guys have said. My view of religion is probably even more negative than the rest of you. Some might even call me anti-religious.

I was just playing devils advocate


----------



## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

I have no objection to religion. I DO have a problem that use religion as an excuse to oppress 10% of the population of the US through law. Of course, I also have a problem with those who oppress American citizens outside of religion.


----------



## aloss4words (Jul 17, 2007)

It would be something I would love to do if it didn't cost like 130 dollars just to talk to people on there! What a rip off.


----------



## rcapo89 (Jun 3, 2009)

Well I've never used eharmony but my sister has. Unfortunately for her she was rejected and received no compatible matched. :lol


----------



## ivankaramazov (Aug 22, 2009)

I don't have the patience to get through 150 questions about myself. Last time I tried I got bored two pages in, and just randomly clicked through the next 15. I got a bunch of matches that way, but didn't feel like throwing down the $20 the next day. Probably for the best as the whole "I thought you were Mormon" conversation would have been way awkward.


----------

