# The secret to getting girls is...



## BeSerious (Sep 14, 2012)

Cockiness. Confidence verging on egotistical. Everything else follows.
It's as simple as, "get your **** together."
You have to love your situation and yourself first, then you will understand and believe that girls are there to be flirted with, courted, and dated. Not untouchable goddesses.

Sorry. I was bored, and wanted to start a new thread in this section going.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Well we have had 10543 threads on this but like the rest the answer usually lies somewhere along the lines of this kind of attitude working on some girls, girls who do find that kind of personality attractive but it will not draw all woman. A lot prefer the more laid back and less arrogant guys, some shy and introverted guys, it varies person to person. 

As a guide I would say it is important to at least have some self confidence, but other than that there is going to be someone out there who prefers you own kind of unique personality.


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## BeSerious (Sep 14, 2012)

What kind of threads do not get posted? Let's start those!!


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## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

...luring them with candy and puppies.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

And yes also luring with candy, puppies AND rainbows.


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

Candy, puppies, rainbows, AND clowns... the scary ones that hides in the closet.


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## BeSerious (Sep 14, 2012)

Alright... so I feel bad for starting this thread. But that doesn't change what I originally wrote. I really believe it to be true.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Just don't take it so seriously. Just be carelessly flirty with them and then see where it goes.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

sarafinanickelbocker said:


> ...luring them with candy and puppies.


That also works. Just tell them you have lots of candy and puppies in your car and you have even more at home :twisted


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## BeSerious (Sep 14, 2012)

...and promises of One Direction signed CDs....


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

Giving a ring is only what works with me. Others are players and I don't want to know them.


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## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

AussiePea said:


> And yes also luring with candy, puppies AND rainbows.


 :yes



ThatOneQuietGuy said:


> That also works. Just tell them you have lots of candy and puppies in your car and you have even more at home :twisted


 :clap



Nada said:


> Candy, puppies, rainbows, AND clowns... the scary ones that hides in the closet.


 :afr Darnit, she ran away!


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## vanishingpt (Mar 9, 2012)

LOL @ the outcome of this thread


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

SnowFlakesFire said:


> Giving a ring is only what works with me. Others are players and I don't want to know them.










Do you love me now?

I also have some puppies >: )


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

It's just better to be ASSERTIVE and humble, rather than cocky.


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## Solomon's Tomb (Aug 14, 2012)

The secret to getting girls is licking the alphabet.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Solomon's Tomb said:


> The secret to getting girls is licking the alphabet.


:teeth


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## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

Solomon's Tomb said:


> The secret to getting girls is licking the alphabet.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

I thought by then you are already gotten a girl....


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

ThatOneQuietGuy said:


> Do you love me now?
> 
> I also have some puppies >: )


We are engaged :boogie


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

I'm with tea - assertive but humble, and vulnerable, gets me everytime it tugs at my heartstrings... but I'm not the droid they're looking for. So yah but for me, a guy who can show his vulnerability and yet is also strong most of the time... I heart that a lot.


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## ShadyGFX (Jul 18, 2012)

True. If you're a ****, you get sex. I've seen it too many times before. There is no room in this world for nice guys.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

ShadyGFX said:


> True. If you're a ****, you get sex. I've seen it too many times before. There is no room in this world for nice guys.


I beg to differ. Nice guys that aren't pushovers get plenty of action.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

ShadyGFX said:


> True. If you're a ****, you get sex. I've seen it too many times before. There is no room in this world for nice guys.


It's because the nice guys are sitting in the corner of the room, sipping on their drink while the douche bags are over there talking to the girl you've been glancing at for the last 3 and a half hours.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Canucklehead said:


> It's because the nice guys are sitting in the corner of the room, sipping on their drink while the douche bags are over there talking to the girl you've been glancing at for the last 3 and a half hours.


True. Women won't make the move, so you have to.


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## Moongirlie (Jan 1, 2012)

i like confident, but if a guy is arrogant/cocky... i get turned off veeerrrry quick. its like he acts like he can have this, and i just for some reason want to show him he can't and id rather have that shy guy over there.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

Thinking logically about things im not like that, nor would I ever choose to be,

Its true that many women go for that type..... but more fool them.

If you think about it, most of the guys like that are players, cheaters or have greater potential to screw women over.

Then theres the knock on effect, where it can bring insecurity's and issues into a womans head that can be ruin a relationship with the next guy she meets.

Its sad how women can be attracted by these types of guys, id rather stay as I am and not deal with the type of girl that goes for those guys


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## AliBaba (Nov 16, 2005)

awkwardsilent said:


> ... but I'm not the droid they're looking for.


Haha. I lol'd. Does it also help if a guy is dressed as a stormtrooper?


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

BeSerious said:


> Cockiness. Confidence verging on egotistical. Everything else follows.
> It's as simple as, "get your **** together."
> You have to love your situation and yourself first, then you will understand and believe that girls are there to be flirted with, courted, and dated. Not untouchable goddesses.
> 
> Sorry. I was bored, and wanted to start a new thread in this section going.


I disagree


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## LoneLioness (Nov 16, 2003)

My guess is you're just after looks if you really think this. Plenty of girls will date nice guys.


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## Luka92 (Dec 13, 2011)

I know plenty of guys who aren't cocky/douches, but are in a relationship.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

The reason they say "love yourself first" is because when you love yourself you typically:

1. Respect yourself
2. Don't put up with ****
3. Not willing to suppliment your values or who you are

This means, if you love yourself, then you automatically will not do **** that is unattractive to the sex you go for. If you don't "love yourself" then you lack at least one of the qaulities listed above, and when you lack those qualities you will be weak, fragile and supplimentive, which is unattractive; hence, "confidence" seen as a sexy trait (confidence=loving yourslef). Confidence is not concrete in everything and therefore neither is "loving yourself". This means that someone who loves him/herself is someone who understand that, like confidence, it is also not concrete, giving way to self-doubt at times. But what they do understand is themselves well enough to not be self-hating the majority of the time.

Yes, love yourself, or learn to love yourself first and not only is it attractive but it will allow you to enjoy the company you are with because you will be more positive about yourself and others. This is attractive for both sexes, not just women. No one wants a debby-downer. Everyone wants value. When you subtract value, or suck value, from people then they will typically move on because you are causing negatives in their life. Not to worry though, someone who "loves him/herself" is someone who always gives value because they see themselves as valuable and they give value without sucking value. It sounds complicated but it isn't in practice. Just practice loving and respect yourself and it will be manifested in the things and people you interact with and you will be a valuable person.

This video is kind of all over the place but w/e. I actually saw it right after I posted this by accident which is kind of weird lol


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

pete24 said:


> Thinking logically about things im not like that, nor would I ever choose to be,
> 
> Its true that many women go for that type..... but more fool them.
> 
> ...


Everyone has it in them instinctively to be enough for someone else. When you THINK you aren't enough then you do things out of insecurity and you view yourself as lower than the person you deem more valuable. When you try to be "cocky/funny" when it isn't really you then it isn't congruent and it usually will not be interpreted the way you want. There is a saying to be "congruent" with who you are and this is the best place to come from.

If you want to be attractive to someone else then be yourself. This doesn't mean that being yourself will make someone want you. What it really means is you are approaching the person you like optimally, because when you aren't yourself you come off as "off" people can sense something wrong. You cannot get anyone you want. Rejection is a given for anyone who approaches. What you are doing is presenting yourself optimally (in your best fashion) to the people you interact with by being yourself and being congruent with who you are.

It isn't always easy to do and sometimes it comes automatic that we don't present ourselves congruently, which is why it is something the dating community teaches guys to do. When you view yourself as "less" than someone else you do things that reveal how you view the situation and the other person isn't attractive to that because they see that you don't value yourself enough to be with them, and that isn't attractive. If, however, you "love yourself" then you KNOW that you are enough emotionally to be on equal level with the person you approach, and hence you are presenting yourself optimally.

Physical appeal is something that is subject to a large degree, but if someone doesn' tlike your physical appearance then there is little you can do about that. However, I would say someone who "takes care of themselves" or "loves themselves" will USUALLY look the part via the clothes they wear and the way they carry themselves. When you like the way you look (regardless of how you look) and you like yourself then you are presenting yourself optimally.

Because dating is a 50/50 thing, your only choice is to present yourself and see if the other person reciprocates interest. ONce again, if you present yourself optimally (loving yourself + outer appearance factors), and you present yourself as YOURSELF and not someone else, then you have basically put your ace on the table. If she views what you have, from your optimal presentation, and it still isn't valuable enough for her then there is NOTHING you can do; no "cocky funny" or "*******" behavior will win her over. Why? Because dating is a 50/50 thing; you can only present the best half of that equation.

When you do things that aren't congruent with who you are you may fool someone briefly but ultimately they will catch on and they will see you do not love yourself enough to present who you are because you view yourself as lesser value.

The most uplighting thing about this whole lecture is this: you are "enough" already, and not because someone else deems you that (because they often won't), but because YOU deem yourself that. It is true, you are who you think you are. Learn to love yourself and you will present yourself in the best optimal fashion. No gimmicks needed. All those gimmicks you try to impress someone, if you like who you are then those things come naturally, and if they don't at first, then it isn't congruent so don't force it.


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

Sure, that's how you get girls.

But it's not how you get women.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

Be popular, have lots of friends and an exciting social life. If you don't have any of this, act as if you do.

Women are interested in how other people view you, not how they view you themselves. Women are followers by nature.


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

TPower said:


> Be popular, have lots of friends and an exciting social life. If you don't have any of this, act as if you do.


Once she finds out the guy has lied about his situation (and she will), she'd probably be turned off pretty quickly. Your advice is questionable.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

tea111red said:


> Once she finds out the guy has lied about his situation (and she will), she'd probably be turned off pretty quickly. Your advice is questionable.


So what? By that time he already would've gotten something out of it.


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## Ivan AG (Sep 29, 2010)

srschirm said:


> So what? By that time he already would've gotten something out of it.


What, a one night stand?

I though most men were after relationships not one time flings.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Ivan AG said:


> What, a one night stand?
> 
> I though most men were after relationships not one time flings.


Or plain companionship. Most guys do want a long-term relationship.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

The key to getting girls is not being shy.


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

The secret is not making these threads and going outside and actually talk to them.


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## brownzerg (Jan 8, 2012)

rymo said:


> I beg to differ. Nice guys that aren't pushovers get plenty of action.


This is quite true. The challenge I find myself with is that I'm usually looking further down the road than most. So a challenge to my ego or whatnot is usually seen by me as not worth the time/effort/energy/emotion, however it looks like I'm a pushover.

Having respect for others' likes and dislikes also seems to come off as being a pushover. Must I defend my taste in music with someone who obviously hates it? Am I required to let someone know I feel the books they read are the stupidest junk ever written? 
If it is what you like then more power to you, might not be my speed but I can respect that it is yours. I guess that's being a pushover


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

cockiness and confidence are two different things. and arrogance is...horrific.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Improving your looks is a way to get girls interested.

*Key points on improving your looks

*1. Changing glasses, or changing contacts
2. Getting a good haircut
3. Losing weight/bulking up
4. Wearing newer clothes/clothes that fit you


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Dissonance said:


> The secret is not making these threads and going outside and actually talk to them.


lol you have a point.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

AussiePea said:


> And yes also luring with candy, puppies AND rainbows.


:clap


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

srschirm said:


> lol you have a point.


There shouldn't have to be some ancient methodology, there are people of varying ideals and preference, you may want someone but that person feels like you don't satisfy their preferences, move on. The best thing to do is not try to make it strategic, if two people can see each other as attractive, then it happens.


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

srschirm said:


> So what? By that time he already would've gotten something out of it.


#1. I had a guy aiming for a relationship in mind when I read TPower's post, not a fling or "companionship."

#2. You're just assuming the guy has gotten something out of it.

#3. (commenting on your other post) Why would a woman want companionship w/ someone who is a liar (why would anyone, really)? It'd be hard to believe anything that person said in the future, and make building any sort of "companionship" very difficult. Most people would not bother to waste their time w/ a person who chooses to lie about a big chunk of their life.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

I didn't take it as outright lying about your life situation. It's sad that guys feel they have to embellish aspects of their lives. We certainly don't choose that reality.


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## ryobi (Jan 13, 2009)

TPower said:


> Women are interested in how other people view you, not how they view you themselves. Women are followers by nature.


Unfortunately I have found this to be true...


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

ryobi said:


> Unfortunately I have found this to be true...


Woman take both how they view you (this is #1) and how others view you (this is #2) into account, just as I'm sure men do w/ women. Men are also followers, too. For example, a lot of men copy things women do and will take up their interests to get their approval/get them to like them.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

It is sad, but a lot of guys are clueless when it comes to love, sex, dating, and relationships. We need to invent reasons for being single, otherwise we will be looked at weird.


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

WintersTale said:


> It is sad, but a lot of guys are clueless when it comes to love, sex, dating, and relationships. We need to invent reasons for being single, otherwise we will be looked at weird.


A good reason can be that being in a relationship is more trouble than it's worth, and that you have enough stress in your life to deal w/ right now. When you resolve your issues, then maybe you'll look for one. Something to this effect.


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## MollyAmins (Sep 25, 2012)

BeSerious said:


> Cockiness. Confidence verging on egotistical. Everything else follows.
> It's as simple as, "get your **** together."
> You have to love your situation and yourself first, then you will understand and believe that girls are there to be flirted with, courted, and dated. Not untouchable goddesses.
> 
> Sorry. I was bored, and wanted to start a new thread in this section going.


100% correct.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

tea111red said:


> A good reason can be that being in a relationship is more trouble than it's worth, and that you have enough stress in your life to deal w/ right now. When you resolve your issues, then maybe you'll look for one. Something to this effect.


So I should wait until I'm 40, to have sex? When I can't even enjoy it?

What's wrong with the world? Honestly?


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

WintersTale said:


> So I should wait until I'm 40, to have sex? When I can't even enjoy it?
> 
> What's wrong with the world? Honestly?


That's your choice.

But really, I was thinking about the short term and if people were to ask or comment about why you're single. The reason/example I gave was a legitimate one that many people give that is not viewed as "weird." I don't know why you are getting defensive and getting an attitude (at least that is how I am perceiving things). It's not the world's fault you are single, it's yours since you are the one who controls the things you think and do.


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## ryobi (Jan 13, 2009)

tea111red said:


> Woman take both how they view you (this is #1) and how others view you (this is #2) into account, just as I'm sure men do w/ women. Men are also followers, too. For example, a lot of men copy things women do and will take up their interests to get their approval/get them to like them.


I'm not trying to start a gender war, but I've never asked a buddy, parent, or sibling what they thought about someone I was dating. Imagine, "Hey Dave what do you think of my girlfriend" and Dave says, "I think she's hot"-lol
However, many of the women I've dated have asked their friends parents, or siblings what they thought about me? One girl I was dating even asked her friends what they thought of me right in front of me like I wasn't there-lol
I wish more women thought for themselves, and did not need the approval of others to decide who they would date. Maybe I dated the wrong women???eh????


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## luctus (Mar 31, 2011)

Eww...that's actually a major turn-off for me. Egotism bordering on narcissism is more like a good reason to run away..

Healthy confidence? Great. But if someone forces it too much it tends to come off as arrogance or just aggressiveness.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

ryobi said:


> I'm not trying to start a gender war, but I've never asked a buddy, parent, or sibling what they thought about someone I was dating. Imagine, "Hey Dave what do you think of my girlfriend" and Dave says, "I think she's hot"-lol
> However, many of the women I've dated have asked their friends parents, or siblings what they thought about me? One girl I was dating even asked her friends what they thought of me right in front of me like I wasn't there-lol
> I wish more women thought for themselves, and did not need the approval of others to decide who they would date. Maybe I dated the wrong women???eh????


If I found a girl who I really liked, I would absolutely ask my family and even friends what they thought about her. As far as I'm concerned, if I like the girl that much that I would ask people about her then I already know the answer I'm going to get - I just want to be even more elated with my decision. And I think girls are the same way. They are happy and they want to show off their man and just get the opinions of people they really care about. Nothing wrong with that.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

BeSerious said:


> Cockiness. Confidence verging on egotistical. Everything else follows.


Confidence is good, but good luck with the cockiness and egotistical ****. Those sounds like hollow confidence and a little boy who's actually really fragile.



> It's as simple as, "get your **** together."


If that's what gets you going... :roll



> You have to love your situation and yourself first,


Started off well...



> then you will understand and believe that girls are there to be flirted with, courted, and dated. Not untouchable goddesses.


...but ended so badly. We may not be "untouchable goddesses," but believe me you we're not here for your enjoyment and to be courted and flirted with.



> Sorry. I was bored, and wanted to start a new thread in this section going.


New, but not original. Try a little harder next time.


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

in my experience women love jerks

and the bigger the jerk, the more the actions. Must be because daddy always told little sara what to do, daddy used his loud voice, and used his bad words. Daddy was the first love, daddy only used his harsh voice when he wanted to say something important, and he only did it because he loved us

therefore if he gives me orders, treats me like a possession, then he is like daddy, and i love him tooooo

or maybe not


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

Zeeshan said:


> or maybe *not*


This


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

Most girls who always complain about jerks are beautiful women.

Getting in a 'normal' relationship for a beautiful girl is too easy, they get bored of it. So they want something exciting, like a jerk that is hard to tame. That creates a lot of emotions and drama, they can't get bored.


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## sorrwel (May 20, 2012)

Eh, this is partially true...


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