# How can I stop having all these negative thoughts?



## daaaaave (Jan 1, 2007)

I am noticing this more now that I am unhappy, but I have these negative, hurtful comments that come into my head for just about everything. I don't say them, of course, but they are very negative. I feel like I am a negative person on the inside and I hate people or something, but I don't want to. For example, I was just on a guy's blog and he had a post and picture of him running his 1st marathon and all I thought was "he looks like a loser, he's slow" and he had a slogan for a business of his and i thought "what a stupid slogan." I think like this all the time about everything and everyone. I want to be positive, but it is hard. In my journal I keep at night, I only express positives because I have trained myself not to be so hard on myself, but why am I so hard on others in my thoughts?? I really feel like a bad person because of this.


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## Roped (Feb 24, 2008)

hey,i can relate to this.i can have really negative thoughts about others and myself.sometimes for longer periods sometimes shorter.i know what you mean cos i dont want to have them either and i try not to and when they come i try to shrug them off as quickly as possible and try to think something positive about the person im thinking negative of instead and that usually helps,but its a ongoing battle sometimes better sometimes worse,dont beat yourself up about it cos that will just make it worse.just try to let it pass.i have started to tell my head to shut up when it comes with bad thoughtssomehow that seems so funny to me that i start smiling when i say it and that sort of brings a positive tone to my thinking and that kind of helpsi dont know if that made any sense?


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

*Journal "Dialogue" technique*

I don't know if this can help you, but you journal so it worth giving a shot.

Journal "Dialogue" technique

There are two voices in the dialogue, you and your Dialogue partner. The Dialogue partner is whatever irritates or disturbs you, it could be a person in real life, it could be someone no longer living, it could be a character trait they have, it could be a character trait you have, it could be a thing, it could be a situation, it could be a feeling, practically anything.

Just have a conversation while writing. See, feel, and notice what pops up. Doing this process as long as its enough you'll notice why you think, feel, or behave that way. The answer to negative thinking really relates something back to the individual. Once you understand why you think a certain way, the symptom will be gone, hopefully. You can also do this with the symptom of anxiety of a person, situation, object, etc.

This is somewhat similar to therapy because the therapist tries to find his/her way by questioning your experience to find the root if you were to do psychodynamic therapy. The "Dialogue" process makes you feedback your thoughts back to each other to find that answer.

Anyway, examples of format:

Me:
Slogan:
Me: 
Slogan:
Me:
etc...

or

Me:
That Marathon guy:
Me:
Marathon guy:
Me:
etc...

Try and see if it helps.


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## Pinzelhead (Mar 14, 2007)

Unfortunatly, for many people who suffer from social anxiety, their problem isn't so much with their head, its with their heart.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Gerards suggestion is very very good. It almost always yields up the root of what causes you to do that. Then when it pops up, it doesnt have so much power.

I get weird urges too. If I am getting on well with someone in authority, I get a massive impulse to spit at them or punch them. It has to do with a sense of feeling subjugated and feeling that eventually something will go wrong - so I get the urge to do it straight away - getting my sense of subjugation AND the final moment of catastrophe out the way quickly.

Knowing this makes it easier to just go "oh that again" when it pops up.


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## sherbert (Jun 24, 2005)

Pinzelhead said:


> Unfortunatly, for many people who suffer from social anxiety, their problem isn't so much with their head, its with their heart.


I disagree and I thought Gerard's comment insightful. I know it's easy to be bitter when someone offers their two cents, (how can they truly understand?) well some do and especially here. What's great about catching and counteracting negative thoughts is the more you do it, the easier it becomes. It is hard as %^&*! to take the intial steps, but it gets easier. Is it fair, not really, but I am sure there are advantages you have that seem unfair also.

Unless I misinterpreted your retort and you were alluding to heart pallipatations. In that instance, I am not well-versed enough to argue. I would assume most psychiatric conditions are based in the brain, but I am no expert and some are physiological (like Crohn's).


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

Take some Adderall


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## Pinzelhead (Mar 14, 2007)

sherbert said:


> Pinzelhead said:
> 
> 
> > Unfortunatly, for many people who suffer from social anxiety, their problem isn't so much with their head, its with their heart.
> ...


The heart being refered to is figurative. Not the physical organ itslef! The "heart" is not the brain. The word "heart" has an important meaning which "mind" does not convey. Your heart is the centre of your being, not some cold, intellectual faculty of the mind. People use the word heart in a figurative manner all the time; put you're whole heart into something, you're hearts desire and such. It is what is in your "heart", not brain, that will cause social anxiety to manifest itself. If you have dark, disturbing things existing in your heart, then you may very well begin to experience social anxiety. Because whatever that is in your heart, whether good or bad, will come to you in the end.


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## sherbert (Jun 24, 2005)

Where-ever you may believe emotions to originate from, my contention was more with dismissing a very useful technique. Perhaps it would have been prudent to have said as such in my (first) response (?). In any case I was pretty sure you were refering to the symbollic idea of the heart. I only refered to it as an organ because I thought it counter-productive for one to condemn anothers advice (it doesn't make much sense, IMO). Now I understand that you just ascribe to a different take on maintaining one's mental health. I interpreted your first message as a rebutal rather than offering counsel.



blah blah blah yakaty smackidy -- no harm meant.


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## Pinzelhead (Mar 14, 2007)

sherbert said:


> Where-ever you may believe emotions to originate from, my contention was more with dismissing a very useful technique. Perhaps it would have been prudent to have said as such in my (first) response (?). In any case I was pretty sure you were refering to the symbollic idea of the heart. I only refered to it as an organ because I thought it counter-productive for one to condemn anothers advice (it doesn't make much sense, IMO). Now I understand that you just ascribe to a different take on maintaining one's mental health. I interpreted your first message as a rebutal rather than offering counsel.
> 
> blah blah blah yakaty smackidy -- no harm meant.


glad that's settled :clap


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## DudeHere (Jul 10, 2008)

Oh I know this feeling, like when someone does something good, or succeeds, and you just want to knock them down. I mean, there have been times When I have been supportive of people, and I mean it when I say it, and other times when I just either do or want to knock them down, like you aint so great.


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## nicole1234 (Jul 16, 2008)

I can relate. I am so hard on myself and really critical/jealous of others as well....I feel like everyone is fake.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

me too, its not just all in your head, i can say to a cardiologist its all in the chest but of course its my heart same with no its all in my head of course its your brain


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## Happyman (Apr 12, 2008)

I think it is caused by low self esteem / frustration with your own life. It becomes projected onto someone else, thus the negative thoughts on them.


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## R4ph4el (Sep 20, 2005)

Jealousy is imo the most harming thing to humankind.


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