# No Friends...Lonely & Depressed



## BryanSA (Jul 1, 2013)

Hey guys, I'm sure some of you may struggle with the similar problem I have, but I'm gonna write it down here anyways. Hopefully I get some good advice or directions to what I should do at this point.

I'm 27 and right now I don't have any friends that I can really call "friends." Many of the people I know are just acquaintances or not very close. I rarely hang out with these "acquaintances," and if I get VERY lucky, I get to hang out with them maybe once or twice a year. It's like I almost have to beg them (I'm not really begging) to come out and spend time with me because they are busy, already have appointments, sick, not in the mood, not interested, or whatever the reasons are. And obviously, this kind of relationship doesn't develop into friendship because I'm only seeing them once or twice a year. I mean in order for the relationship to develop into friendship, you need to see that person regularly and share common interests or do stuffs together and talk with him/her a lot. And this doesn't happen simply cuz most of the time they just reject me whenever I try to make a social interaction. I'm just tired of getting rejected all the time. And yes, I've tried to be involved in various clubs or activities to meet people and make friends, but no luck there either. It never develops into friendship and they all seem indifferent and uninterested in me. 

I'm really frustrated and depressed right now not only because I'm lonely but I've been living like this for almost 10 years, with no friends, just staying home most of the time doing stuffs like watching TV or playing computer games. Plus, I know I'm aging and nothing seems to change or get better. I'm worried cuz I'm afraid things will be the same when I reach 40 or older. I kind of worried like this when I was 17 or so and my "prophecy" became true. I have no hope for my future. Time really does fly and I'm totally helpless. I want friends who care about me and a social life, but it seems to me it's as hard as winning a lottery. I've been on meds, received counselling many times as well as on CBT programs, but they are not working. Not if I could mind control people to like me, nobody likes me. I'm a complete loner.

I'm depressed and constantly having these suicidal thoughts or cutting myself with a knife. I know I'm not gonna suicide unless my parents (who are very warm and supportive) pass away, but sometimes I get super depressed that I get impulsive and lose control of myself and just want a car to hit me or cut my arm with a knife. I know I will never do these kind of stuffs when I can think rationally, but I don't know if I'm able to keep on living like this with this massive depression and "no friends" thing.


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## Dan the man (Jul 4, 2013)

BryanSA,

I kind of know what you mean as I'm kind of on the same boat as you at times. But, I wouldn't change who you are just to be accepted by others. As long as you can live and like yourself is all that should matter and could look yourself in the mirror. It sounds like you have parents who love you for what you are anyway.

I know it may be hard to believe but people with appear to have a lot of "friends" and lead wonderful lives can be quite unhappy too. It's all just an act they put on


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## itsjustin (Oct 21, 2011)

I feel I am in the same boat. I do have more of acquaintance-friends than I do friends. 90% of them are girls. I really just long for more companionship. Gay, straight, black, white, Latino, fat, skinny... I just want more of a male influence. It gets really lonely talking or hanging with my girl friends. The guys I do know have their own close friends and I am just on the back burner. I hate it. It's so difficult to find a guy who wants a close friendship with another guy... no romance involved. All I want is one!


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## Ev93 (Jul 9, 2013)

I know EXACTLY how you feel, I'm a 20 year old female, and I've been ostracized and lonely for about eight years. I really don't seem to matter to ANYONE, no matter how friendly and candid I am I always get rebuffed, and rejected, I was also bullied a lot ... I could die tomorrow and I don't think anyone outside of my immediate family would give a flying ****. Honestly no one has initiated contact with since about 2011 and when they do initiate contact they only do it because they have nothing else to do.


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## Neddy123 (Jan 2, 2013)

Feel your pain man


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## savage (May 28, 2013)

what would suicide do? ...people who thought you are a freak will be confirmed in their opinion about you
i would not give them such a joy


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## Readytolive (Jun 14, 2012)

I feel very much the same way. The only friends I have either hardly get back to me or live too far away. I feel desperate for having close friends to be able to really talk to and confide in. I have felt in a lot of ways alone for years and feel stuck. 

Also, growing up with social anxiety has created a horrible cycle of isolation. Since I grew up socially awkward and isolated, I was always too afraid and uncomfortable in my own skin to try to live like other people my age. As a result, I grew up without so many of the typical experiences people have with friends, life experiences growing up, that it makes me feel like I have to hide who I have been and the life I have lived to people now.


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## Keeevin (Jul 16, 2013)

I have SAS... yet I chose to stay away from ppl. Over the years I determined they didn't like me and I didn't like them much either.

Find the people who can benefit from knowing you and vice versa i.e. drug dealer/customer relationship one needs drugs the other money, u both benefit from knowing one another, over time trust builds and instead of a "friend" u get a business associate.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

*Suicide*
_If you are currently thinking about harming or killing yourself please seek help immediately._ 
On the forums, suicide threats and the discussion of suicide is not permitted. On your personal blog, sharing your feelings is fine, but please do not share means or plans of suicide.


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