# I am having an affair



## fantasysuite (Aug 17, 2013)

I suffer from social anxiety and for some reason want to have affairs with married men. I started chatting online with the guy I am having an affair with about a year ago. We have been chatting on and off since- the months we did not chat was because I stopped going online to get away from all this affair stuff. We finally met for the first time a few weeks ago. I wasn't really sure I would like him in person to begin with and was hesitant to meet him a second time. However I did go back a second, and third time. I keep thinking about him and keep checking online to see if he is on so I can chat with him.


----------



## Introspect (Aug 9, 2013)

well, if you do it because it turns you on to have secret affairs, break rules, or have novel/exciting relations - then you are dangerous! the buzz of the attractions can be because they are supposed to be unavailable, aka forbidden fruit.

if you're doing it and you're not sure why (its not some obvious reason) then i would suspect it could be to do with low self esteem - don't value yourself or feel good enough for something better, so instead your interest is won by men you subconsciously know you can't have fully, or make dreams become reality - because they are committed to another. its a vicious cycle.

nobody likes to be with someone that makes them feel they arent good enough for them.


----------



## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

OK. Are you asking for advice or something?


----------



## JakeBoston1000 (Apr 8, 2008)

cool!


----------



## BobbyByThePound (Apr 4, 2012)

I'm married. U wanna?


----------



## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

I don't see why the OP needs to say she suffers from social anxiety.


----------



## wolfie620 (May 3, 2013)

BobbyByThePound said:


> I'm married. U wanna?


subtle. i like that.


----------



## riderless (Jul 21, 2013)

That 's the most ....ing confession I have ever heard! Pray for forgiveness! God have mercy on your soul.:afr


But seriously..................... I'd be wracked with guilt about that kind of thing so I hope you aren't going through some kind of hell. And if you are, maybe some good will come of it, if you gain some self-awareness through the experience.
I'm not hardcore Christian by the way, far from it.


----------



## h00dz (Dec 25, 2012)

BobbyByThePound said:


> I'm married. U wanna?


:banana


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

It sounds like a complicated web of issues here. 
The best thing to do is steer clear of this man - it would hurt a LOT of people!


----------



## alienbird (Apr 9, 2010)

That sure is nice... 

:roll


----------



## MoonlitMadness (Mar 11, 2013)

You need to end things now. Even if you enjoy seeing him, you're only going to get hurt in the long run, when your emotions get more and more tied to him. You're already feeling attached. He's got a wife, and a home.. why would he give that up for you, even if this affair continued for years? People who have comfortable situations like that want the best of both worlds, but if they have to choose, unless they are in love, they will always choose the wife/husband.

Not only that, but how would you feel if you were being cheated on? If you don't want karma to bite you in the butt, find a single man.


----------



## Dear turtle (Sep 7, 2011)

I feel the OP stumbled upon this forum and felt the need to use us to gain advice.


----------



## Memememe (May 7, 2013)

oh gosh. thats not good. #
you need to stop. think of it this way. imagine you are married to that same guy and he goes off seeing other women hes met online for affair or whatever. you will not like it. 

you should try prevent from being attracted to married men. 
so many kids' lives get ruined from this


----------



## tony420 (Jul 27, 2013)

the thought of sneaking around turns me on alot


----------



## fantasysuite (Aug 17, 2013)

Sorry I did not write enough the first time. I said I have social anxiety disorder because this is a social anxiety forum isn't it? I am a very shy person in public but I have a wild side that not many people know about. I do crazy things and I think its because I feel as though I did not enjoy my life when I was younger when I had full blown selective mutism. I also have a hard time meeting men even though I am attractive because I am so quiet. 

I cant handle a relationship right now and just want the sexual part of it so I thought that married men were probably desperate for some affection so that's why I am doing this. Yes it is very wrong.

According to this guy he has only had sex once in the last year with his wife. 

I like the excitement, thrill of it. We did it in a public place last week and afterwards realized we did it right in front of a camera. oops.

I may be going out with friends tonight and he started acting weird when I told him. Think he is getting jealous cause he knows I may get hit on. We only chat online and dont' know each other's phone numbers or anything but our conversations are getting very intimate and we can't wait to see each other again. 

But then I think what am I doing??? And then when I want him I realize I can't see him because he is home with his wife. He said his wife had an affair years ago, and then he had one to get back at her. he has been trying for years to get sex and it's not working.


----------



## Daveyboy (Jan 13, 2013)

fantasysuite said:


> According to this guy he has only had sex once in the last year with his wife.
> 
> He said his wife had an affair years ago, and then he had one to get back at her. he has been trying for years to get sex and it's not working.


Secret:::
Don't believe everything guys tell you.....(unless it's me)

I can't really think of anything good that can come of this for you..
-In the long run..


----------



## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)




----------



## tony420 (Jul 27, 2013)

damn thats awesome u go girl


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

What is the point of marriage if you are just going to cheat on them? Tax benefits? Idk. That doesn't sound like a good situation to be in.


----------



## Lazercarp1 (Jul 2, 2013)

my advice is if you're going to be unethical, do it in the most ethical way possible. go for guys whose marriages are clearly gonna fall apart anyway or who have some kinda legitimate grievance with them caused by the wife. also avoid men with kids, which makes it worse. do all that and you're not mother Theresa but you're hardly doing anything hugely bad in the scheme of things either


----------



## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

I feel bad for his wife. Hoping she's cheating too at least lol.


----------



## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

tony420 said:


> the thought of sneaking around turns me on alot


You should play the Metal Gear series.


----------



## Zatch (Apr 28, 2013)

Logan X said:


> You should play the Metal Gear series.


----------



## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

with an ice cream sandwich?


----------



## Jujubee2000 (Aug 17, 2013)

I agree with Capcom. With a name like Fantasysuite...maybe she did stumble on the wrong forum


----------



## MoonlitMadness (Mar 11, 2013)

fantasysuite said:


> Sorry I did not write enough the first time. I said I have social anxiety disorder because this is a social anxiety forum isn't it? I am a very shy person in public but I have a wild side that not many people know about. I do crazy things and I think its because I feel as though I did not enjoy my life when I was younger when I had full blown selective mutism. I also have a hard time meeting men even though I am attractive because I am so quiet.
> 
> I cant handle a relationship right now and just want the sexual part of it so I thought that married men were probably desperate for some affection so that's why I am doing this. Yes it is very wrong.
> 
> ...


I'm sorry but you really need to grow up. You are toying with people's lives. It's exciting is it? You really need to find a new hobby. You don't even sound that ashamed. Have some humanity, some respect for yourself and others.


----------



## Soundboy (Feb 16, 2013)

You go girl


----------



## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

MoonlitMadness said:


> I'm sorry but *you really need to grow up. *You are toying with people's lives. It's exciting is it? You really need to find a new hobby. You don't even sound that ashamed. Have some humanity, some respect for yourself and others.


 Not be mean but that's ignorant.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian (Jun 1, 2013)

Viro said:


>


Hahhahahaha, thank heck that wasn't Raiden!


----------



## Rich19 (Aug 11, 2012)

fantasysuite said:


> I suffer from social anxiety and for some reason want to have affairs with married men. I started chatting online with the guy I am having an affair with about a year ago. We have been chatting on and off since- the months we did not chat was because I stopped going online to get away from all this affair stuff. We finally met for the first time a few weeks ago. I wasn't really sure I would like him in person to begin with and was hesitant to meet him a second time. However I did go back a second, and third time. I keep thinking about him and keep checking online to see if he is on so I can chat with him.


Wait how have u been having an affair for a year if u only met 4 the 1st time a few weeks ago:idea


----------



## JadedJade (Feb 12, 2013)

MoonlitMadness said:


> I'm sorry but you really need to grow up. You are toying with people's lives. It's exciting is it? You really need to find a new hobby. You don't even sound that ashamed. Have some humanity, some respect for yourself and others.


I second this!


----------



## MoonlitMadness (Mar 11, 2013)

MavenMI6Agent009 said:


> Not be mean but that's ignorant.


No it's not. A mature adult would let this guy go, and have respect for his wife. She isn't even in love with this guy, she just happens to like him a lot, it's like a teenage crush. She should know better.


----------



## Lazercarp1 (Jul 2, 2013)

I think you all need to stop being so judgemental. This girl doesn't know the guy's wife so why does she owe her anything? At the end of the day, its the guy whose betraying the wife's trust, not her.


----------



## JadedJade (Feb 12, 2013)

MoonlitMadness said:


> No it's not. A mature adult would let this guy go, and have respect for his wife. She isn't even in love with this guy, she just happens to like him a lot, it's like a teenage crush. She should know better.


Agreed!



Lazercarp1 said:


> I think you all need to stop being so judgemental. This girl doesn't know the guy's wife so why does she owe her anything? At the end of the day, its the guy whose betraying the wife's trust, not her.


Maybe it's not as much judgment as it is our opinion of the situation. Anyone put out for the public to comment on is going to have multiple point of views, some agreeable and others not.

Because their are married! It's not just about two people tieing the knot, it's a commitment and a promise a vow to stay with your partner for the bad as well as the good times, a promise to always work things out, try to get help and communicate rather than sleeping around to get back at each other. That is immature and like a teenager or kid doing something for the sake of it rather than using their brains and thinking of the consequences and ramifications of their actions!


----------



## fantasysuite (Aug 17, 2013)

Blame it all on the other woman. 

And to clear things up- I met him online about a year ago and we have been chatting on and off since. I finally met him for the first time in person a few weeks ago.

And we did have sex and have plans to do it again and again.


----------



## Zatch (Apr 28, 2013)

Oh my goddddd.


----------



## Glass Child (Feb 28, 2013)

Good for you op. /sarcasm


----------



## Introspect (Aug 9, 2013)

Glass Child said:


> Good for you op. /sarcasm


:clap


----------



## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

Viro said:


> Oh my goddddd.


What? :um


----------



## MoonlitMadness (Mar 11, 2013)

fantasysuite said:


> Blame it all on the other woman.
> 
> And to clear things up- I met him online about a year ago and we have been chatting on and off since. I finally met him for the first time in person a few weeks ago.
> 
> And we did have sex and have plans to do it again and again.


Well yes, I will blame you, AND of course the husband, but he's not here to try and talk some sense into, is he? Anyway, it's clear you're not looking for advice, you seem very happy with the idea of being a homewrecker.

And of course I will judge this woman, she has no guilt whatsoever. No, she doesn't know the wife personally. But when we hear about people falling ill, dying, or losing their partners, do we not have something that a lot of people clearly haven't heard of - empathy? Good luck OP, let me know how it goes when the wife hears about this.


----------



## MoonlitMadness (Mar 11, 2013)

JadedJade said:


> Agreed!
> 
> Maybe it's not as much judgment as it is our opinion of the situation. Anyone put out for the public to comment on is going to have multiple point of views, some agreeable and others not.
> 
> Because their are married! It's not just about two people tieing the knot, it's a commitment and a promise a vow to stay with your partner for the bad as well as the good times, a promise to always work things out, try to get help and communicate rather than sleeping around to get back at each other. That is immature and like a teenager or kid doing something for the sake of it rather than using their brains and thinking of the consequences and ramifications of their actions!


Exactly.


----------



## nadine (Aug 26, 2013)

Just my humble opinion on the relatively common view that "The Other Woman" or "The Other Man" is just a blameless innocent party to the affair, that there is something very wrong in the marriage or relationship that justifies the affair, that the very fact of the affair taking place is proof that the marriage or relationship was effectively already over when the affair began - blah, blah, blah:

It is generally accepted that people owe it to one another to be decent and kind or at least civil to one another. That is why things like cutting in line, "stealing" a parking spot, failing to wash one's hands after using the bathroom and before handling other people's food, being a bully, standing idly by while someone is being assaulted or otherwise suffering a medical emergency (i.e., the "bystander effect" or Genovese syndrome), etc. are generally frowned upon. This speaks to a phenomenon often referred to as "common decency." See, people are capable of all sorts of indecent or cruel things that aren't exactly illegal, but just because it isn't illegal doesn't mean people don't owe it to others to refrain from doing it.

Going after someone else's spouse (or partner), and/or knowingly and willfully being the person with whom someone is cheating on someone else, causes great pain to someone else in the vast majority of cases; to cite an example that was in the news not too long ago - the pain that Elizabeth Edwards exhibited when she tore her shirt off at the airport in an anguished fit after finding out about her scumbag husband's affair, exposing her breast cancer-ravaged chest. Thus, going after someone else's spouse is widely construed as pretty damn impolite. Pissing all over something that is precious to someone else, the way John Edwards and that ho-bag Rielle pissed all over Mrs. Edwards' marital vows, is generally considered an impolite thing to do. Besides, lacking empathy for another's pain, and lacking guilt for causing pain to another, are two characteristics of being a psychopath.

In other words, the view that The Other Woman or The Other Man is just a sweet, blameless innocent party to the affair is bullcrap. The bullcrap of that view is especially apparent when you consider that people who hold that view would probably be among the loudest to criticize "The Other Woman" or "The Other Man" as being a tremendous a-hole for lesser things like cutting in line and stealing a parking spot.



Lazercarp1 said:


> I think you all need to stop being so judgemental. This girl doesn't know the guy's wife so why does she owe her anything? At the end of the day, its the guy whose betraying the wife's trust, not her.


----------



## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

fantasysuite said:


> Blame it all on the other woman.
> 
> And to clear things up- I met him online about a year ago and we have been chatting on and off since. I finally met him for the first time in person a few weeks ago.
> 
> And we did have sex and have plans to do it again and again.


you both need to grow up. knock it off and figure out how to have healthy, mature relationships. You need to figure out how to have a healthy relationship with yourself first. when this ends in tears, as it surely will, you'll both go on to repeat this ridiculous situation with other people. after that, you'll do it again, and again, and again, until you finally, if ever, pull your head out of your ***.


----------



## h00dz (Dec 25, 2012)

leonardess said:


> you both need to grow up. knock it off and figure out how to have healthy, mature relationships. You need to figure out how to have a healthy relationship with yourself first. when this ends in tears, as it surely will, you'll both go on to repeat this ridiculous situation with other people. after that, you'll do it again, and again, and again, until you finally, if ever, pull your head out of your ***.


Well said. :yes


----------



## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Why are there so many threads about women having affairs with married men lately? Are these all written by the same person?


----------



## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

there have been? I wasn't aware.


----------



## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

The OP only has 11 posts. Why would you come to an SA forum and ask these very non-SA questions? The OP has another thread about her booty call. Is this married guy another one of her men?

This all sounds too much like a caricature. It sounds like the view of women some very bitter SA guy may have and he created these fake posts to troll.


----------



## fantasysuite (Aug 17, 2013)

No, I am not a troll! Sorry if your lives are not as interesting!


----------



## Schmilsson (Jun 7, 2013)

fantasysuite said:


> No, I am not a troll! Sorry if your lives are not as interesting!


----------



## h00dz (Dec 25, 2012)

Rostagin said:


>


:clap


----------



## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

fantasysuite said:


> No, I am not a troll! Sorry if your lives are not as interesting!


what you are doing is all too common.


----------



## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

fantasysuite said:


> No, I am not a troll! Sorry if your lives are not as interesting!


----------



## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

Yawn.


----------



## JadedJade (Feb 12, 2013)

fantasysuite said:


> No, I am not a troll! Sorry if your lives are not as interesting!


Lol. I want a somewhat normal life, but not that kind. I'm not envious of you in any way and I'm sure many here feel similarly.


----------



## h00dz (Dec 25, 2012)

tbyrfan said:


>


Yes more gifs!


----------

