# Dr.Richards' Series-Sessions 1-20



## Ganmo (Aug 4, 2009)

Hi. This is the thread for Session 1 of the Dr. Richard's Audio series. Myself and several other posters are gonna tackle 1 session per week and discuss it here, along with our progress and experiences with the techniques from the series. Anyone can join in.

We're gonna start here on Monday the 15th and continue onto a new session & new thread every Monday after that. There are 20 sessions in total, so we should finish on the 26th of August. I feel that it's very important to engage with the series each week in order to gain the most from it.

So let's all listen to Session 1 on Monday then engage on this thread for the following week.

Good luck everybody!:clap

_****Please no posters asking how to get the tapes or if we could send them links. *_
_*That information is available elsewhere and is not what this thread is about.****_​


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## Ganmo (Aug 4, 2009)

I'm gonna listen to it soon!


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## Wingman01 (Mar 15, 2012)

I started my first week last week again. I did start the series last June yet I fizzled out after week 11. So I'm trying again, hopefully this time I can compete the entire series. I tried to start it up at various time during the winter,but I couldn't seem to keep myself motivated. 


I'm on week two right now.I will join in if you don't mind?


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## Mina84 (Jan 2, 2011)

Session 1:

Hi everyone, I didn't want to be the first one, but here we go 

For me, the most important points of this session are:

- Overcoming SA takes a lot of effort and time, but the rewards are life changing!
- Repetition, Reinforcing, Reprogramming
- This means we have to get all the strategies so deep into our minds that we couldn't forget them, even if we tried.

- Symptoms: I could relate to most of the symptoms. I'm also afraid of answering the phone and making phone calls in general. I used to have a typical SA job, now I'm a student, but I lack confidence and often think I'll never be able to graduate and if I ever graduate, I won't be able to do my job. I'm studying to become a teacher and I think that's a job, that requires very good social skills and in which you have to be in the spot everyday. On the one hand, it terrifies me to think I'll have to stand in front of a class and talk, on the other hand, I want to be able to do it.

- Causes: Dr. Richards remarks that we should not focus on what caused our SA. However, he mentions that it could be caused by life events, in which we felt helpless to change and by being raised in a very authoritarian way. This is exactly what I think contributed a lot to the development of my SA. For the purpose of the therapy though we don't have to know the cause. If we spend 1 hour rehearsing our anxiety fears, we'll be reinforcing them. Dwelling on our problems = making our problems worse. Instead, we should focus on how to get out. We want a solution, not an explanation of the past.

- Bottom line: 
Instead of practicing our anxiety fears and negative thinking for several hours per week (just like I've been doing it most of my life), we are going to practice new techniques and methods that will hopefully help us get rid of the anxiety.

Well, that's it. 
Looking forward to hearing your ideas about the first session.


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## KindredSpirit (Sep 30, 2008)

Mina84 said:


> Session 1:
> 
> Hi everyone, I didn't want to be the first one, but here we go
> 
> ...


Congratulations for being the first one to post.
It's 9 PM E.S.T. here and I have looked though the book. I can't listen to the tapes until I get another cassette player and those things are hard to find these days ... lol (Does anyone on here have one for sale?)
I hope more people listen to the series and gets some help from it.


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## mere phantom (Dec 16, 2003)

* dont focus on what causes SA, just focus on what can help solve it
* spend 30min a day doing their CBT examples as you do 1 tape per week at most


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## Ganmo (Aug 4, 2009)

Hi, I listened to it there. Points I picked up on are: 

I need to change how I perceive things. 
I have to be consistant with the audio series, every week without fail.
I can relate to Dr. Richards' story about avoiding his neighbours and dwelling over little things he said to them, for hours afterwards. 
I have to stop replaying past conversations in my head, its a waste of time.
I want to live in the present moment more, instead of worrying about the past or future.

The only way to fail is to give up.
SAD is living in a constant daily fear.
Worrying about and dreading an upcoming event months in advance.

I plan to follow this program for 20 weeks. I hate making phonecalls, meeting new people/friends, leaving the house, etc. But I love being outdoors, how ironic :/ Has anyone thought of emigrating to another country so you would be anonymous? Maybe it's just an easy way out. 

PS, Hi everyone! I'll be back on this thread during the week, hope more join us!


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## Ganmo (Aug 4, 2009)

Mina84 said:


> Session 1:
> I'm studying to become a teacher and I think that's a job, that requires very good social skills and in which you have to be in the spot everyday. On the one hand, it terrifies me to think I'll have to stand in front of a class and talk, on the other hand, I want to be able to do it.


That's so weird Mina84, cos I'm a teacher! I always said to myself- why am I pursuing this job since I have SA, but I'm so glad I did and I would even class myself as a good teacher. Because you have a curriculum to teach, you're not standing in front of a class making chit-chat, you're busy teaching them. So it's totally do-able for someone with SA. I find the staffroom tough though, that's when the SA kicks in. But that's only a small part of the day really. It's funny, cos I see some of the really quiet students and think- "why are they so scared and quiet, why don't they speak up for themselves or get involved more?". Then 10 mins later, I'm in the staffroom quiet as a mouse!!! SA is so so so so weird.


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## Ganmo (Aug 4, 2009)

Where is everyone else that said they'd partake in this for the next 20 weeks- c'mon guys!!! Let's beat SA together!!


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## Mina84 (Jan 2, 2011)

I was wondering the same thing, lol, it's quite sad.
In case nobody knows, the first session is available for free on the SA Institute website:
http://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/overcoming-social-anxiety
And of course everyone is welcome to join us any time.

@Ganmo: How was your week?
Yesterday I had a really bad day, I was feeling the least competent of all students and started thinking that I should just quit because I'll never be able to become a teacher 

It's encouraging to know that anxiety didn't prevent you from reaching your goal. So teaching does not trigger your SA at all? When you're standing in front of a class, do you feel a little bit anxious? I always feel very anxious when I have to participate in class or work in groups, my heart starts beating really hard and I carefully form every sentence in my mind before saying it, otherwise I wouldn't dare to say anything 

My main goal is to function well at school and later at my job, I don't care so much if I'm able to chitchat with my neighbours or not (for now), I just want a "decent" job, I used to clean in a hotel and that was no fun 


> Has anyone thought of emigrating to another country so you would be anonymous?


I don't understand how that is supposed to help. What do you mean by anonymous? I actually moved to another country 8 years ago and I still have to deal with my SA. For some stupid reason, I even feel less being a foreign. I think the problem is inside me. What I found more important is to be surrounded by positive people, who make you feel accepted and loved and avoid negative people or people who belittle you.


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## ANXPhoenix (Mar 17, 2013)

Sorry, I'm a bit late... didn't seem like there was much to add, since a lot of the stuff on the 1st tape we all already know. I guess I could give some history and stuff

*History with Anxiety:* I've had it most of my life. I was always introverted but time, abuse, and bullying made it progressively worse to the point where I had no friends, quit school, and hardly ever left the house. Now I have a job, and a few friends, but still have difficulty a lot of difficulty.

*Social Anxiety triggers:* Dealing with strangers, being around people alone, thinking everyone is judging me, small talk, getting close to friends, and being confident at work.

*Goals:*I want to be able to be able to trust people more, to be able to make small talk even if I don't have anything in common with someone, to be confident in my abilities, be able to say more than 2 words to strangers without breaking into a sweat, and be willing to commit more of my time to social affairs instead of social escape.

Didn't do much therapy this week, but I did agree to volunteer for Search and Rescue with some coworkers and went out with them afterwards... first time I've ever done anything like that, and now I'm a little fearful of the commitment.


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## Ganmo (Aug 4, 2009)

Hi ANXPhoenix, welcome!

Mina84- I suppose it depends on what age-group you teach. What kind of teacher are you training to be?

New session tomorrow guys!!! It's the real deal, no more introductory stuff 
Tomorrow, I'll make a new thread called *Dr. Richards' Series- Session 2*


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## Banzai (Jun 4, 2009)

This sounds like a good idea. I started doing the tapes but only did the first few. I won't have time until after my exams though..so I might crash in in June if that's OK 



Ganmo said:


> Hi ANXPhoenix, welcome!
> 
> Mina84- I suppose it depends on what age-group you teach. What kind of teacher are you training to be?
> 
> ...


Maybe you should keep the sessions all in one thread so it doesn't spam the Support Groups section?


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## Ganmo (Aug 4, 2009)

Banzai said:


> Maybe you should keep the sessions all in one thread so it doesn't spam the Support Groups section?


I would if someone could tell me if I can edit the title of the thread after I've made it- is it even possible?


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## Banzai (Jun 4, 2009)

Ganmo said:


> I would if someone could tell me if I can edit the title of the thread after I've made it- is it even possible?


If you "report" your OP and in the message you can ask a mod to change it to whatever you want.


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## Staticnz (Mar 25, 2013)

I have been doing this course. However my problem is depression, not really SA...so I've found some of the sessions to not particularly apply to me. I've found Slow Talk and challenging Automatic Negative Thinking a little useful, but I often find myself trying to substitute the word 'SA' for 'depression'. Which is tough sometimes.

When he said 'nothing is wrong with you, it is just learned behavior', I knew having depression that might not be true. There might actually be something wrong in my brain. Could be more than just learned. But it's hard to tell in life.

Anyways, I'm doing the course and I'm keen to follow along with your threads, so I'm going to keep an eye on this...


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## Mina84 (Jan 2, 2011)

@Staticnz: He mentions in other tapes that the cure for depression is similar to the cure for SA, meaning we have to do the things we feel the least like doing. Do you "only" have negative thoughts? how does your depression manifest itself?

@Ganmo: I teach young people, age range mostly between 14 and 19_._


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## Ganmo (Aug 4, 2009)

I'm late listening to Session 2, gonna set time aside tonight for it. I feel like I did well today as I went outside the house by myself and went to a local park and stayed for about 2 hours without freaking out.

@mina84- to me, that age group is tough. I find that the older they get, the more challenging they can be, to me anyways. I suppose it all depends on you.


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## jimjam (Aug 22, 2012)

Ah, I missed the the start of this! I swear, I want to commit to this!

I missed the last sessions because I had lost my job at the time, and swung into a huge depression for about a week. But I'm feeling pretty great now. I've already listened to the first 3 lessons in the past, so I didn't "miss" anything, but I'm definitely gonna listen to them again tonight to catch up.

I guess I missed my intro, so I'll just give a brief one here.

History with SA: Had it since I was about 7. Something happened to me at age 7, everything changed. I don't know what exactly. It wasn't that bad. Its gotten gradually worse and peaked at age 22 (this year) where I got full panic attacks. I've been recovering slowly over the last year.

Triggers: It used to be everything and anything. Not so bad anymore. Not so much strangers, but people that I kinda know. That awkward phase between aquaintence and friend. Seeing people that I know, but without time to "prepare" myself. Seeing other people do "normal things" with relative ease, and no stress.


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## Mina84 (Jan 2, 2011)

jimjam: it's never too late to join the group 

*Session 2*
The things that stood out to me the most in this session were:

1. it's very important to practice every day for 30 minutes, the more we practice, the more results we'll see.
2. practicing can be listening to the tapes, reading the handouts in slow talk, making a summary of the session, etc...
3. I usually practice slow talk on Mondays and record myself so I can listen to the handouts any time I don't feel like reading them or when I simply can't do it (e.g. while cooking, cleaning, etc...)
4. practicing detecting and stopping ANTs. This is something that needs a lot of practice, so we are not supposed to be able to do this in just one week, but I'm slowly getting better at this.
5. choose some distractions from the list of suggestions: I chose music, reading the handouts and surfing the internet 
6. pick two rational coping statemenst from the list:after stopping my ANTs, I'm going to say to myself: "I've stopped my negative thoughts before and I'm going to do it again now. I am becoming better and better at deflecting these ANTs and that makes me happy." I also wrote this on a post-it note and stuck it to the bathroom mirror.

My Week:It was ok. 

Thursday- I spent 4 hours hanging out with a classmate I don't know so well. At the beginning it was not difficult and I tried to talk more than usual (I usually don't know what to say), but this made me really exhausted, towards the end, I didn't say anything at all. But I didn't feel anxious, which is a good thing.

Friday - There's a class that is highly anxiety causing. This week we had to work in groups and I was not able to contribute in any way. Later, while working in pairs, I just said a short sentence and I'm sure I looked very shy/insecure while saying it. I was not able to speak up in class, I was too anxious, even though I would have had something to say. I hope the tapes will help me get better at this.

Sunday - Today was the worst day of the week. Nothing to do with SA though. It looks like my relationship of 8 years is slowly coming to an end 

Please everyone, remember that it's important to practice if not everyday, then at least once a week  I'd really like to read your opinions about the sessions.


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## essixo (Feb 3, 2013)

Each audio session is about a total of 1 hour each... Does that mean I am only supposed to listen to half each day, making it 30 mins? So each half should be played every other day during the week. I am confused. 

If someone could please clarify this for me, I would appreciate it.


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## ANXPhoenix (Mar 17, 2013)

Pretty quiet this week.... I got distracted by my mom going to the hospital last sunday, I was rather distraught and a bit depressed all week due to that. Shes supposed to be released tomorrow though, so hopefully things will get back to normal.

Week 2 is pretty simple. Basically just slow talk 10 minutes a day, and trying to identify some negative thoughts as well as stop them. Amusingly enough I already did the whole "stop!" ad constantly singing to distract thing even before the tapes... I did argue with my thoughts though, which is bad.
My main issue is that I hate talking to myself, I always feel like someone is spying on me and judging me so it's hard for me to practise slow talk. When I was doing it on my own I did get to the point of doing it with friends but I made the mistake of telling them I Was slow talking; not that it would have mattered, I have a lot of trouble getting the rhythm so a lot of the time I just ended up speaking syllable by syllable. I really need to practise this more.

Besides my mom's health issues this week was pretty good, didn't get much therapy in, but I did go to the volunteering thing again, and I also went to a rehearsal for a lip dub video promoting the town I work in... another thing my boss pushed us all to do; I was nervous and got slightly drunk to cool my nerves. It was cool, the actual video happens next sunday so hopefully I can do it, and with with less drinking.


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## Mina84 (Jan 2, 2011)

*@essixo:* Listening to the tapes is like having a session with a therapist. You're supposed to listen to the whole tape e.g. every Monday, and the rest of the week you read the handouts in slow talk for 30 minutes every day. However, you can listen to just half of the tapes if you don't have enough time and then listen to the other half another day.

And of course you can listen to the tapes as many times as you want/need, not only once a week. The goal is to keep listening/reading the handouts until all the concepts sink in to your brain. So the more you practice, the more you'll be able sink the handouts permanently in to your brain. It's like studying for a test, you'll get better results if you study a little bit every day than if you start studying the day before the test. We want to learn all the coping strategies so that we can use them when we start feeling anxious.

*@ANXPhoenix:* I hope your mom is doing better now. From what you said, I assume you still live with your parents, right? You could practice at home when you know you'll be alone, for example when everyone is at work or shopping. Or when you say you feel like someone is spying you, do you mean your neighbors?


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## essixo (Feb 3, 2013)

Mina84 said:


> *@essixo:* Listening to the tapes is like having a session with a therapist. You're supposed to listen to the whole tape e.g. every Monday, and the rest of the week you read the handouts in slow talk for 30 minutes every day. However, you can listen to just half of the tapes if you don't have enough time and then listen to the other half another day.
> 
> And of course you can listen to the tapes as many times as you want/need, not only once a week. The goal is to keep listening/reading the handouts until all the concepts sink in to your brain. So the more you practice, the more you'll be able sink the handouts permanently in to your brain. It's like studying for a test, you'll get better results if you study a little bit every day than if you start studying the day before the test. We want to learn all the coping strategies so that we can use them when we start feeling anxious.
> 
> *@ANXPhoenix:* I hope your mom is doing better now. From what you said, I assume you still live with your parents, right? You could practice at home when you know you'll be alone, for example when everyone is at work or shopping. Or when you say you feel like someone is spying you, do you mean your neighbors?


Thanks a lot for answering my question, Mina! 

I guess the handouts are the exact words of the audio tapes?


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## ANXPhoenix (Mar 17, 2013)

essixo said:


> Thanks a lot for answering my question, Mina!
> 
> I guess the handouts are the exact words of the audio tapes?


For the most part they are the same but there's a lot of stuff that's only text and a lot that's only spoken. The audio tapes usually tell you to refer to the handout for specific things, though its kind of jarring when it asks you to listen, read the hand out, and speak it aloud when the hand out version has slightly different wording.

@Mina84: she got out of the hospital in Tuesday and is doing a lot better. The talking thing is mostly a compulsion I have of not wanting to make a lot of noise or disturb anyone... Even when there's no one around I do it still. I still try to do the slow talk, just at more of a murmur or a whisper. Though I have found that I'm more comfortable speaking louder in closed areas like a car.

So anyone doing week 3 now? I'm guessing there might be some people that fall behind, next week will be a good catch up time since the tapes state that part 4 should be listened to during part 3. So anyone who's fallen behind can do 2 this week and 3 and 4 next week, just a thought.

Before I got up to 6 and part 3 was my favorite with the ANTs narrative giving me something to say in slow talk. It begins to get kind of overwhelming and time consuming because the ANTs narrative is about 20 minutes and the relaxation tape is about 40 and he says we should do both every day for the weeks to come... I guess it's up to personal prioritizing for each person what they feel is being the most effective.


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## Ganmo (Aug 4, 2009)

Hi guys. I fell way behind but have Lesson 2 done now and will do Lessons 3 & 4 together during the week. I constantly have ANTs but don't realise they're ANTs until afterwards :/ The slowtalk is a good technique but I have to say- I hope I don't sound like Dr. Richards when I use it as his voice is extremely monotone and boring. I also feel that the sessions are very drawn out- he could cut out a lot of waffle and easily reduce the listening time for each. But I still intend to follow through with the program until I finish it!


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## Ganmo (Aug 4, 2009)

@ANXPhoenix- hope your mother's better. By the way, do you live near the Social Anxiety Institute?


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## Ganmo (Aug 4, 2009)

I've done Session 3. It was good. I'm glad I'm doing this. This thread is a bit empty!! Anyway, I'll just reflect  The ANTs are such a big part of my life, I find it hard to stop thinking negatively and replaying past events in my head, and possibilities of being embarrassed etc. I need to be on ANT alert!! There's a friend in my life who is very negative towards me and I feel that they try to embarrass me in front of others. They have good points too but I find myself trying to distance myself from them.


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## Staticnz (Mar 25, 2013)

Mina84 said:


> @Staticnz: He mentions in other tapes that the cure for depression is similar to the cure for SA, meaning we have to do the things we feel the least like doing. Do you "only" have negative thoughts? how does your depression manifest itself?


In answer to that question (a bit delayed), I think it manifests itself in an overall sense of the worthlessness of doing anything in life. Therefore there's no real reason to live as I feel trapped being me, someone who can't appreciate or enjoy anything for what it is.

Challenging negative thoughts might be useful against that. But it's hard to keep vigilant against this overwhelming sense that life is pointless. An existential angst that also makes me act totally hopeless in the real world, destroying parts of my life I like.

And I'm still doing the course, but I haven't been doing it at the pace it says to. I have just been randomly listening to sessions, heh. Still helps sometimes though.


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