# Are foreign women really that much different from American women?



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

My dad says so, but I'm not quick to believe the hype. Actually, he showed me his dating site on Columbiancupid.com. There he is getting hit on left and right from beautiful Columbian women and he isn't all that to begin with (I love him, but he isn't). Of course, my first concern is they are after some status quo or green card or something. My dad thinks it is because the men treat the women so bad down there, but that isn't a good excuse in my opinion. I mean, it'd be one thing if semi-attractive women were hitting on my dad from this site, but here women are gorgeous, and some are in their 20s—my dad is 50 something. Something isn't adding up here to me. If you go to any American dating website, ESPECIALLY pof, you'll notice that it is like pulling teeth for even average looking women to respond, so why the vast difference between American dating sites and ColumbianCupid.com? I don't buy it that they are so in need of quality men that they have to put there focus on foreigners. I honestly think that either there is a person scamming someone on this site (but my dad was ON THE PHONE with these girls while I was over at his house, so wth!?) or these women are after money or status that American men may be idolized down there. Trying to date a woman your actually attracted to on an American website is freakin' hard (and I'm not even a bad looking guy ands gave up with dating sites) but yet on this Columbian website your like a God. Does this make any sense? I don't get it. I think it is a scam or that the women are trying to take advantage of American men... what do you think? Has anyone else experienced this difference? Are our cultures really that different that the women are completely different? That doesn't make much sense to me...


----------



## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

I kind of wonder about this too because I've heard similar stories, except it was for eastern European women, and it had nothing to do with dating websites. From the little bit that I've seen of them, they appear a lot more relaxed and down to earth than a lot of American women.


----------



## Stanley (May 11, 2007)

bwidger85 said:


> I think it is a scam or that the women are trying to take advantage of American men... what do you think?


Most of the time it is a scam. I don't know about South American dating websites, but Eastern European are for sure. Lately it died down though, but a few years back I remember seeing a lot of stories on TV about how Americans, Australians and Western Europeans getting burned on these things. Tell your dad to be careful with whoever he's talking to and ditch her the minute she'll ask him for money.


----------



## Stanley (May 11, 2007)

Futures said:


> From the little bit that I've seen of them, they appear a lot more relaxed and down to earth than a lot of American women.


That changes really fast once they move to US :lol


----------



## cakesniffer (Nov 11, 2003)

A know a man in his mid-50s that just brought over a Russian woman in her mid-40s whom he met online, somewhere. She arrived at the beginning of February, and now they're married, per the rules of her visa. I'm anxiously waiting to see when the **** hits the ceiling.


----------



## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

Mail order brides work well for guys that don't want a lot of hassle with personality. So if you are looking for basic companionship, sex, and a maid, its a good deal. 

I've heard of mainly Thailand, Russia, and E. Europe as the more popular places. Many Korean chicks try to snag the Military guys there.

But basically any 3rd world country, you are basically a superstar by mere fact of being an American.


----------



## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

Sure wish you could buy men that way lol....

companionship, sex and a handyman... that would be kool....


----------



## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

caflme said:


> Sure wish you could buy men that way lol....


You can.


----------



## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

Yeah - but I'm sure once they are here they turn on ya

but heck my 2nd husband did too once I put the ring on his finger.


----------



## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

Part of the time, you do have to wonder if the girl is real on some of these websites. And you don't always know their past or if they are part of a crime ring.

Having said that, there is a difference. 3rd world and countries with really bad living conditions and where their economy has gone to hell, you can be seen as the way out. If you had to choose between a guy in a trailer home and a guy with a house on the beach, which would you pick?

Now, for developed, modern countries, there is a different attitude and such, but there are a wide variety of women in the USA with very differing views on all the issues.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

My dad met a woman from the same site about a year ago. They were planning on getting married till he found out she was only in it to come to America. That's BS. I have a strong feeling these women are doing the same thing. There are too many good looking women hitting on my dad... I literally couldn't believe it, especially when I saw some of the ones in their 20s—these women probably could get anyone they wanted, and my dad is an overweight middle-aged balding male.

A couple of you mentioned how this is popular in Russia. Surprisingly, there was this 29 year old Russian woman (super pretty) that is emailing my dad saying how she wants to love him forever and how their lives could be perfect together..in that fashion, and she doesn't even know him. Guy and girls are the same everywhere.. I guarantee she has guys drooling over her in Russia. It's BS, and I feel sorry for my dad. I sat there trying to make sense of it all, and asked him if it bothers him that it appears only out of country women are acting this way towards him? He said it is what it is and if they like them then they like him... I just wanted to pull my hair out!

I realize this is happening out of the country and everything but it makes me question a lot about women in general, and that isn't a good thing, but you can't really help it sometimes. I think I'm going to call my dad in a last attempt to tell him he is most likely getting set-up. After that, I'll probably steer clear of asking him how everything is going with the women he is talking to because I just don't want to hear it anymore... it makes me sick. I've been trying to tell him to meet women in this country but he won't and I can't believe he is doing this to himself.. he is usually a lot smarter than this...


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

It could be a game. Women from other countries are women from other cultures - they experience different things than Americans would. :stu


----------



## MindOverMood (Dec 12, 2009)

Keep us updated.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

millenniumman75 said:


> It could be a game. Women from other countries are women from other cultures - they experience different things than Americans would. :stu


That is what my dad keeps saying, but something as primal as physical attraction is too instinctive to be different just because of culture.


----------



## Emptyheart (Sep 15, 2009)

Sounds like they're after something, papers I guess? Who knows maybe they just want to expirence life in America...
Ehh dating sites kinda scare me lol I'd tell your dad to watch out
And yes keep us updated!


----------



## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

While women in other countries aren't as finicky about age as here in the U.S., there is no doubt these women are seeking a better lifestyle. 

But when I women here brags about marrying a doctor or lawyer, is it not the same thing. 

Maybe your dad is just sick of games or something and willing to settle for less than ideal. Mine was.


----------



## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

With the divorce rate among American women, and the financial/emotional effects of divorce, I'm not sure that is really the best route either later in life.

I thought that the guys would fly to these countries and meet a bunch of different women in real life?

Have you ever been to any of these countries? Some of them are willing to do whatever to get out. And there are some other differences in culture and upbringing with regard to relationships.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Emptyheart said:


> Sounds like they're after something, papers I guess? Who knows maybe they just want to expirence life in America...
> Ehh dating sites kinda scare me lol I'd tell your dad to watch out
> And yes keep us updated!


Yeah, dating sites scare me too. I've experienced so many iffy girls from there that it has created a strong, strong contempt for it. I mean, hypothetically, yet truthfully, I could literally send out 100 emails on POF, get 20 emails back (on a lucky day); out of those 20, 5 keep on a normal touch kind of a basis; out of those 5 maybe 2 are interested; out of those 2 one is crazy and the other one is looking for friendship. You think I'm BS'n till you've experienced it yourself then you'll see I'm not just saying all this to pull anyone in my favor here; I'm past that stage.

Right now I'm in a really confusing, emotional and insecure place and nothing is making sense. Who knows if that will go away tomorrow after some rest or not but I don't like it, and this stuff that is happening with my dad almost had me thinking if he was right, but it's just too iffy&#8230;


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

VanDamMan said:


> While women in other countries aren't as finicky about age as here in the U.S., there is no doubt these women are seeking a better lifestyle.
> 
> But when I women here brags about marrying a doctor or lawyer, is it not the same thing.
> 
> Maybe your dad is just sick of games or something and willing to settle for less than ideal. Mine was.


These women are super gorgeous; if that isn't ideal I don't know what is. No, he told me that women seem to have more interest in him over there than compared to here, which worries me, especially since they are so beautiful. His most profound logic on the matter was that if they like him he basically wouldn't question why and he'd just go with it, and when I hear those kind of naive solutions to anything it frustrates me to know end! He doesn't have an option of NOT settling less than ideal (beautiful women) because those are like the majority of types that are contacting him!


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Classified said:


> With the divorce rate among American women, and the financial/emotional effects of divorce, I'm not sure that is really the best route either later in life.
> 
> I thought that the guys would fly to these countries and meet a bunch of different women in real life?
> 
> Have you ever been to any of these countries? Some of them are willing to do whatever to get out. And there are some other differences in culture and upbringing with regard to relationships.


No, I haven't been to any of these countries, but that isn't hard to believe, especially seeing everyone flooding out of Mexico illegally (crossing boarders, risking their lives, etc) to come to America-it doesn't surprise me at all. Arg, man...

Even more so interesting, my dad told me tonight that when he was dating this woman from Columbia, who he was going to marry, he'd go out there, and in one instance he was in a restaurant, his fiancé at the time went to the bathroom and another Columbian woman came up to him while he was waiting and started asking him a bunch of questions (flirting). My dad's fiancé came out of the bathroom and was furious, supposedly, because I guess what this lady was asking of my dad was his name, address and personal information! Also, later he told me he was on a bus over there whilst visiting the same woman (his fiancé at the time) and some older woman approached him and showed him a picture of her niece who was younger, like in her 20s, and asked my dad for his information because she said her niece would be interested in him! And no, I am not making this up...

From every thing I've heard so far, they are just using him as an escape to get the hell out of their country... bad situation...

This is one of those instances I'm just really becoming super aware of, and so maybe that is why I am so confused about the whole thing... it'll probably sink in here soon enough&#8230; I just don't have much firsthand experience to prove otherwise aside from what I hear...

I don't know why, but I'd love to here more women give their opinion on this whole thing.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Classified said:


> With the divorce rate among American women, and the financial/emotional effects of divorce, I'm not sure that is really the best route either later in life.


This whole subject affects me deeply. I want to believe that these people that are getting married have major, major conflicts of interests in their lives that happen for them to divorce. I reason this way because I guess I don't want to accept the fact that men and women can't come together harmoniously. I don't like that gray and black picture and it creates a lot of questions to pop up, and it makes me boil inside because it beckons a part of me to believe that maybe men and women AREN'T really that good of a match together. Who am I to say what is right and what isn't?

There is a part of me that thinks people are people and more similar than different; then, the other half, thinks cynically about others motives. I prefer to choose the harmonious assumption-I do think that there are those out there who are really interested in a real relationship. Even so, I am willing to accept the fact that later in life individuals can not meet up on common ground, but I just don't want to assume men and women can't make it work, and not just by agreeing, but harmoniously; in love.

I realize that there are many, many factors that can alter a marriage to not work properly, but this 50% married divorce rate makes me question people's commitment and/or relationship management skills. Maybe naively said, but if you love someone you should find ways to work it out. If someone's love falls out so far as in which it creates an undeniable feeling of separation, then once again, I question people's ability to compromise. I would like to think that if I loved somebody so deeply as to get married, I'd find ways to make it work. I also understand that not everyone marries for the same reasons. For my reasons (love), that would be the only way I'd consider marriage, so it is hard for me to fathom the high percent divorce rate... maybe someone with more experience could chime in here?


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Classified said:


> Having said that, there is a difference. 3rd world and countries with really bad living conditions and where their economy has gone to hell, you can be seen as the way out. If you had to choose between a guy in a trailer home and a guy with a house on the beach, which would you pick?


Money isn't what makes me choose a partner. If a girl was poor and I was poor, but I liked her a lot, I'd choose a poor chick over a rich woman any day-money isn't what matters most to me; however, this is easy for me to say because I'm not struggling to survive with no hope of financial freedom either. So yeah, even though I don't agree with partnering up with someone simply because of money, I suppose I can't really blame those in dire need of financial support or hope. Still, I refuse to get with anyone woman here in America who is after such things because they have the opportunity to make it better for themselves most of the time (at least I think?). I guess it's all relative to one's economy/situation what makes or breaks decisions for relationships. Knowing this kind of puts everything in a more accepting perspective for me&#8230;

I wonder if men from other countries do the same thing to women here in America? That is, seeking opportunity over other things?

Man, this is really making me think hard about everything! lol. It is kind of fascinating to think of how humans are adaptive with attraction based upon their living situations, environment, etc. So like, hypothetically, if I honestly believed an Asian woman was the only woman with whom could bare me offspring, and I really wanted offspring badly, I'd adapt to be more attracted to them? A-whaaat?


----------



## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

my cousin is a cautionary tale in this area. He was scammed by someone from Eastern Europe. Lost some money. Now he is married to a russian woman who has a daughter from a previous relationship. She knew not a word of English when they met. 

It is obvious to me that as soon as she is able to do so, she will ditch him and become a Canadian citizen and go her own way, having made a better life for herself and her daughter. It's only a matter of time.

And, he too is not "all that". He's let himself go, to be blunt. Nice enough guy, but drank to excess for years and has one of the biggest dunlaps I've ever seen. Funnily enough, he was on another dating website and met a really nice American woman, lovely personality, had her own business and so on, but she wasn't svelte or pretty enough for him. I'd class her as being very down to earth. 

Oh well. To each their own I guess.


----------



## GnR (Sep 25, 2009)

Canadian women FTW .


----------



## BreakingtheGirl (Nov 14, 2009)




----------



## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

Lots of men tend to add fuel to the fire. They imply/brag that they are very financially successful. I think it's so sad for both people,I'd rather been alone my entire life than be dishonest. It's not worth the damage it does to your soul.


----------



## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

*hmm*

It really only boils down to this: these women may be trying to scam your father or they may not be.

Having read through this, I think your father could benefit from being a little bit more critical of things and you could benefit a lot from having more faith in your father. You don't think he's "all that". But that doesn't mean he isn't. He could well be. Just as you could be too.

American women are individuals. Just like women from any other country are.

"American women priced themselves out of the market. I don't blame your father for seeking companionship outside the femisphere. Yes, foreign women are different: They're still women."

What market? How did they price themselves out of the market? What on earth is a "femisphere" and what is wrong with women being "feminists"?


----------



## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

joinmartin said:


> What market? How did they price themselves out of the market? What on earth is a "femisphere" and what is wrong with women being "feminists"?


The answers are several orders of magnitude larger than your questions.

Like I said, in spite of my criticisms of the American dating scene I still wouldn't date foreign women.


----------



## Stanley (May 11, 2007)

GnR said:


> Canadian women FTW .


How do they **** the world? :con


----------



## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

^ at LAST!! so that's what that means! I've been afraid to ask, for fear of seeming ignorant. Of course.......


----------



## MindOverMood (Dec 12, 2009)

FTW = For the win. Step your game up people =p


----------



## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

I thought it was flump the wool. God I am so out of touch.


----------



## cakesniffer (Nov 11, 2003)

MindOverMood said:


> FTW = For the win. Step your game up people =p


There was similar confusion when a picture surfaced of a kid who took a picture with Jay Leno and the kid had written "Coco FTW" on his hand. There were some fierce debates over what FTW meant. And, yes, it's "for the win." :lol


----------



## markx (Dec 22, 2007)

I thought it was street slang for WTF. :b

I was approached by a lot of gorgeous "foreign" women on Match.com, mostly claiming to be from Russia or the Philippines. Most of them were using photographs of models and I think they were more interested in my bank account than in getting a plane ticket to the UK. Fake profiles are usually pretty easy to spot (Uh, you're gorgeous, why are you contacting _me_??) but as with most things in life, if it looks too good to be true, it probably is.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

joinmartin said:


> American women are individuals. Just like women from any other country are.


This is something I try to hold true, and the more I meet more and more women in my life, the more I see how this is apparent; however, it is also apparent that he could be getting scammed as well.

I talked to him on the phone today. I told him I respect what he is trying to do because, he is, after all, my dad and a full grown man. I do respect his views because he is trying to come at it positively. He told me that he loves to travel, he wants to make friends and if one woman pressures him into any type of commitment too soon he'll be cautious (like his ex-fiancé did). He says he wants to make friends and be casual about it, but we all know he ain't flying out to Columbia just for traveling or friendships, which, of course, is risky, but hey... w/e.. i said my peace.


----------



## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/personal/03/19/rr.ladies.love.lists/index.html?hpt=Sbin

For some reason, I don't think many foreign women have this 'list'. At least the ones that haven't been exposed to a lot of western culture.


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

One of the coolest guys I ever met was married to a Columbian woman. He had been around the world and was all about setting himself up in life and living, and being good at what he did. He liked to be the best, but not in a cocky pretentious way. He once said "You think you are free in America?" "NO, you're not free here. Move to columbia." He must have known something.


----------



## JayDontCareEh (Jul 16, 2007)

GnR said:


> Canadian women FTW .


:yes


----------



## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

We may not agree with his finding a foreign woman, but surely we can understand where he is coming from. When we feel under-appreciated by women in our own country, we start to think of ways to have companionship in other way. I'm sure we've all been there, and many of us are still there. I think he deserves compassion.


----------



## GnR (Sep 25, 2009)

Stanley said:


> How do they **** the world? :con


:lol


----------



## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

Well, your dad is just being scammed. He just has to fully buy into a scam. That will be up to him. I think most men would know what it's about to an extent. Yeah, young attractive women from foreign places just want to be with middle class and up American guys that never got it right with women. It's just American women that are the problem, not them! 

It's sad that men even look for women from abroad. I think as things become more competitive and desperate in our society, you will see more of things like this.


----------



## Johnny_Genome (Nov 11, 2003)

My first reaction was: we all know how this is going to end.

But the reality is, it could work out.

He could also marry someone local and be divorced in a few years -- which could be just as costly. People are people. If he is a decent judge of character he should be able to weed out anyone that's just trying to use him. His chances would be much higher if he learned the language and went for someone closer to his age, but hey, it seems like he has some sense of what is real and not from his previous experience.


----------



## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

I have only read the first page of this thread but it reminds me of Mickey Rourke. Apparently he is planning to marry his much younger and much more attracktive Russian girlfriend. Why would _she_ be attrackted to _him_? You have to wonder...


----------



## april showers (Jun 27, 2009)

It's most likely that they want to move to America. If your dad is looking for someone who wants to be with him because they love him, then he's going to have a hard time finding that in a site like that. 
In my experience, forgien women aren't really that different from American women. Culture and individual personalites have an effect of course, but you cannot attribute a major personality trait to all women from such-and-such place. Plus our culture has a habit of fetishizing forgieners base on these sterotypes. Which is what some American men do. 
For example, I know of men who have a thing for Asian women. Mainly because these men have this misguided and archaic mindset that all Asian women are naturally quiet, submissive, and will do to whatever a man tells her to do. 

Really though, don't let the fact that there are sites like these affect your view of women or see them as goldiggers. If anything, women who rely on these mail-order bride type sites do it because they don't have much of a way out. Alot of those women come from countries where their economic choices are limited and will most likely have them living in poverty. Not to mention over glorifying the oppurtunities avalible in America can spurr them to go there.
Which is why they're willing to risk going to a another richer country, not knowing the language and living with a man they don't know. Whe you're that desperate for a better life, then other people's feelings don't really matter. Plus, most men who go on these sites look for a pretty women who can cook and clean for them and who they can ssleep with. So they don't have of a emotional investment in it either. Your dad is an exception of course. And in your dad's case it's a bad situation overall. 

I hope your dad will be able to find someone who'll really love him for him and not anything else.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Lisa said:


> I have only read the first page of this thread but it reminds me of Mickey Rourke. Apparently he is planning to marry his much younger and much more attracktive Russian girlfriend. Why would _she_ be attrackted to _him_? You have to wonder...


He doesn't plan on getting with a younger woman. He has got emails from younger women but he is talking to a couple of women around his age.


----------



## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

women and men would be different in different areas of the world because people grow up adapting to the culture around them, so different cultures breed different norms. biologically we're the same, but culturally we have different standards and will act accordingly, so there is bound to be differences depending on your background.


----------



## ifp (Jan 4, 2009)

Lisa said:


> I have only read the first page of this thread but it reminds me of Mickey Rourke. Apparently he is planning to marry his much younger and much more attracktive Russian girlfriend. Why would _she_ be attrackted to _him_? You have to wonder...


 Well, tastes differ. I personally can't stand Rourke (and never have, even in his earlier movies when he looked much better) but I like Clint Eastwood. And though not enough to want to actually be with him, I can understand why someone much younger (case in point - his wife) would fnid him attractive.
And being from Eastern Europe, I regularly hear stories of those mail-order bride scams. There are a few telling signs - if she's soon asking the man to send her money for her visa arrangements/surgery for her poor old mother or little sister - it should be a red flag. Or if she's not sending any pics of herself in everyday settings, just "glamour shots" - sometimes they use a Russian pop star's pics. And not all of those con artists are women, btw.


----------



## Squizzy (Dec 21, 2004)

I was born in Scotland and raised English, and I believe I am a lot different then American girls


----------



## BrokenDreams (Nov 22, 2008)

bwidger85 said:


> These women are super gorgeous; if that isn't ideal I don't know what is. No, he told me that women seem to have more interest in him over there than compared to here, which worries me, especially since they are so beautiful. His most profound logic on the matter was that if they like him he basically wouldn't question why and he'd just go with it, and when I hear those kind of naive solutions to anything it frustrates me to know end! He doesn't have an option of NOT settling less than ideal (beautiful women) because those are like the majority of types that are contacting him!


It is likely that they are trying to get out of their country and come to the U.S. That doesn't mean that they won't make a good companion. Some may be appreciative and stay with the guy and just be glad to have such a nice life. Some may eventually fall in love with the person. Others may just stay until they can get citizenship and then leave but it still may be an enjoyable experience while it lasts.

I would highly recommend some kind of pre-nuptial agreement if your father owns a home or has any savings.


----------



## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

Squizzy said:


> I was born in Scotland and raised English, and I believe I am a lot different then American girls


If this is meant to be a jab at American girls, I find it very amusing. The word you want is "than," not "then." Also, it's extremely awkward to compare a singular to a plural.


----------



## behave (Apr 18, 2012)

bezoomny said:


> If this is meant to be a jab at American girls, I find it very amusing. The word you want is "than," not "then." Also, it's extremely awkward to compare a singular to a plural.


Americans tend to be very matieralistic, not that there's anything wrong with that. Whereas in places like UK, Sweden, women like to get their own stuff.


----------



## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

Beautiful Colombian women asking a 50 year-old American man out... in fact, beautiful Colombian women throwing themselves at him and giving them their niece's picture and information. Yes, it is "too good to be true."


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Can't believe this thread is 2 years old already. Geesh.


----------



## Tania I (Jul 22, 2012)

Since it's resurrected anyways..how does it goes?


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Tania I said:


> Since it's resurrected anyways..how does it goes?


With my dad? Oh... well, he's still a sucker for these sites unfortunately. Ironically none of the "girlfriends" he interacted with lasted for too long. If it makes him happy then w/e. I wouldn't do it, but then again he drives truck around the country and has no social life, but even then.... it's been a while since I even wanted to voice my opinion to him about it because I accept it is just something he likes to do I guess? idk,,


----------



## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

****, didn't even notice the date. Well, I hope your dad had his, um, fun...


----------



## Tania I (Jul 22, 2012)

Ya. Hope he will get a real relationship


----------

