# When "friends" ignore you....feeling depressed.



## pansie707

I'm not even sure if anyone will read this, but I'm feeling kind of upset... I private messaged a friend of mine over FB asking if she wanted to hang out. I gave her three days that work for me and asked her if she was free any of those days. I know she saw the message because it says "seen at (time)" on FB. One of the days I suggested was today, and she hasn't replied. Its been like seven days since I sent the message.

Maybe I'm overreacting, but I do tend to get sensitive. I don't know if I should message her back or what asking if she's free or not. 

This also happened with my "best friend" who didn't reply. And now its also happening with another friend of mine. 

Why is everyone ignoring me? I swear to God I did nothing wrong - I haven't even seen them all summer. Are they all ignoring me? Is everyone? I'm starting to overreact and get depressed. I feel like nobody likes me. 

I hope nobody ignores this and I get some advice/people to relate to. I rarely feel happy anymore...just very alone...and this just makes the sadness more unbearable.


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## Just Here

This what I hate about commutating with people over the computer. Nobody talk to each other anymore face to face. Try to understand that there may be other issues here that you don't know about. If these are good friends go see them and ask them what the problem is.


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## awkward lola

I totally get you. This often happens to me too.

with the few friends I have, most of the time I write them in FB or through text I feel like I'm bothering them, like I'm not important to them or they don't consider me a friend anymore. 

Some times they don't answer me or they answer simply with a "yes" or "no". I try to start a conversation and they just don't put any effort. For example, with my "best friend" we usually text or message each other in FB. But every time I tell her to hang out, she simply ignores it or evades the question. I know she's having problems of her own, but still it makes me feel like crap.

But I think I exaggerate sometimes and over-analyze everything. So don't take it too personal or serious. I know it can be overwhelming, and we tend to think the worst. But what I have noticed is that it's not that they don't want to hang out with me or don't want to be friends with me anymore. It's just that they have other stuff to do too. At least for me, I don't see my friends as often as I would like. That's just the way our friendship is and I've come to terms with it.

If they don't answer the message, call them one of these days and invite them somewhere. You'll see whether or not something is wrong.


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## Just Lurking

No advice, other than to say "f*** people".

Only around when _they_ need _you_... only around when they have no other choice but _you_... Not anyone's priority... Not anyone's first choice, or second choice, or third choice or fourth -- only when there's no one else available, do they come to you.

Yep.


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## MomofMousies

I'm going through something like that myself and not just with Facebook. Sometimes I just want to delete my Facebook account.


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## Scarlettskkye

*Errrgh*

Yeah, i'm like that too. I'm extremely sensitive and overthink EVERYTHING, unfortunately. Just recently, I became friends with a small group of people, one boy in particular. We all started to hangout a lot and I thought things were going pretty well (though sometimes I'd tell myself that they think im weird/dont like me anymore). But, my friend would text me a lot and ask me to hangout a lot for about 2 weeks. But now, he isn't doing either. I wonder what I did wrong. I'm sick of feeling like I'm always doing something wrong! I mean, nothing major happened that I can recall. I really just don't get it. I'm really not good with people its annoying. He also is aware that I have depression, and all of my old friends left me, so sometimes I wonder if our friendship was just surrounded by pity...


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## Alice1222

I feel like that too! I have a bunch of friends who I've spoken to a couple of times during the summer, and suddenly they just stopped answering when I sent messages although I saw they had read. Some still answer, but almost everyone ignores my messages... I feel like literally everybody hates me whenever I try to get in contact with them. I'm afraid of texting because I feel like if I do they'll just end up ignoring me.


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## CeeDee4

Yes! We are talking about something similar to this in another thread. I have a friend who I reconnected with after high school (on Facebook ironically) and she has been blowing me off more and more lately. I just sent her another message this morning and she "saw" it but didn't respond. My mind also races with all the "what did I do wrong?" and "she must hate me" thoughts.


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## Kalliber

Yes I hate that..on kik


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## Erik20

Funny, I just created similar topic. Yeah I don't understand how a real friend can just ignore your message, especially when it's about something like hanging out.
How hard is it to just give a yes or no? I love and hate that "seen at" feature on Facebook. I like it because you are sure your friend got the message and read it. 
But I hate that you now just know that you're being ignored when you don't get a reply.


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## Autumn26

This has happened to me too. Sometimes, I try to comfort myself with the thought that they saw the message at a busy time and forgot to reply. I kind of worry that I may come off as annoying or pushy if I keep messaging them so I'm never too sure what I should do o.o I've deactivated my Facebook a couple of times to avoid these hurt feelings because I can be really sensitive at times.


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## CeeDee4

Autumn26 said:


> I've deactivated my Facebook a couple of times to avoid these hurt feelings because I can be really sensitive at times.


Me too. And I'm a grown woman in my late 30s. It still hurts when friends blow me off. It's hard too being a married mom of two who works part time and people think that I should be content to just hang around the house doing the dishes and laundry when I'm home. Truth is, we always want friendships. We always want to "hang out" and chat with friends a few days a week. Getting blown off at this age hurts just as much as it did when I was a teen or 20something. :roll


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## emeraldfire2065

I know full well what you mean. I had this recently with a friend who messaged me asking why I wasn't talking to her anymore (long story but I had noticed I was always the one initiating conversations so i was testing to see whether they would message me if I stopped--it took them a month). I explained I had been busy (which I had) and I don't usually hang around if people aren't online. I know she read that message, because like you I got the 'seen at' thing... but she never bothered to reply.

I have the advantage in that I've suffered with this sort of thing long enough with my friendships that I no longer care. But you're at that stage where it upsets you.

Have you tried messaging her again saying 'hey, i messaged you xx days ago, but I haven't heard from you. Do you want to meet up or shall I make other plans?' or something like that. That way you're not sort of begging them to respond, but basically saying 'look, if you don't reply I'll just go ahead and do stuff without you'. You may not do anything, and they may not care, but you're giving them a friendly ultimatum that way. People might say 'oh, I was too busy to respond' but it takes barely a second to put 'sorry, i'm busy, another time' or 'sure, I'll message you when I'm free to arrange'.


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## CeeDee4

I finally said (or texted/facebook messaged rather, ugh) that one friend of mine and told her I thought that she was getting sick of me and needed a break from me. She wrote back, "No, I never get sick of you. You're my closest friend."

That is so insanely confusing. If I'm really a "close friend" then why does she continuously blow off my messages? This is especially true if I ask her if she wants to hang out, she "sees" the message and doesn't respond, then later she's posting online that she's she out at an event or something with a different group of people.

I agree with everyone that the hurt feelings that online communications cause are upsetting and confusing and EXHAUSTING. And again, I'm not even a teenager or a 20something. I'm a grown woman pushing 40!


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## Autumn26

CeeDee4 said:


> I finally said (or texted/facebook messaged rather, ugh) that one friend of mine and told her I thought that she was getting sick of me and needed a break from me. She wrote back, "No, I never get sick of you. You're my closest friend."
> 
> That is so insanely confusing. If I'm really a "close friend" then why does she continuously blow off my messages?


Have you ever asked her why she keeps ignoring the messages? I feel like if you full-out asked her if she needed a break and just confusingly wrote back "no," it would be the time to keep pushing her for a real answer.

I guess friends can be confusing and send mixed signals at any time in our lives, really. When someone ignores my messages on purpose, I wish they would be upfront with me about it D:


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## CeeDee4

Autumn26 said:


> Have you ever asked her why she keeps ignoring the messages? I feel like if you full-out asked her if she needed a break and just confusingly wrote back "no," it would be the time to keep pushing her for a real answer.
> 
> I guess friends can be confusing and send mixed signals at any time in our lives, really. When someone ignores my messages on purpose, I wish they would be upfront with me about it D:


I actually went out and had drinks with her the other night and she was genuinely nice. She says that when she sees messages she can't "formulate what she wants to say in writing" so she doesn't write back right away. Hmm, I guess I believe her now. But when other people ignore still, it's very difficult to interpret what they mean.


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## e11ie

Just want to say thanks for posting that cus it makes me feel less lonely. Sorry for the situation you're in and hope it's just a simple misunderstanding. My friends do it all the time, only talking to me when they are fighting with each other but I haven't got n e one else to turn to.


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## Letmebe

Why do you think I hate facebook and dropped it?


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## Ricebunnyx3

I once sent a text to a friend I used to consider a best friend. She claimed to have never gotten the text. So when I was over her house, she fell asleep. And I went into her phone and found my text that I sent her and it was opened. 

I'm constantly ignored, especially by her, but as well as other acquaintances.


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## Waop14

I used to be very antisocial. But recently over last year I have made a few close friends. Or at least I would like to be close to them and treat them as close friends. And out of about 5 of them , I am very close to 1 and want to be close to another. I am super close with that 1 friend however I get super anxious and scared when she doesn't reply. I start over thinking and sometimes even become angry. And the other one , I just want to be closer to him because we are so good together. So we were suppose to me meet up. But last minute , the 2 nd friend cancels and my closest friend doesn't reply. And I feel so sad and anxious and bored. I didn't do Anythjng to offend them and I don't know why it appears to be they are blowing me off. Although when we do end up face to face by coincidence, we gel together so well. But if we are not face to face like when on a long summer vaca, then I feel so lonely and without them and use they are so different online.


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## ShadowOnTheWall

Ask them why they do this


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## visualkeirockstar

I don't care to bother invites anymore. I do things by myself.


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## kuroshure

I can't think of a reason why your friend would ignore you if he/she was a real friend. I'm not gonna be pessimistic though, as it has been only a couple of days since you sent the message. My friend ignored me for months. I don't care now.


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## H8PPLNDGS

I don't bother with social media anymore which was a great relief. 
People will ignore you if you are not a priority at a given period of time. It's hard but try not to expect too much. Unfortunately, they would get pissed if you ignore them it they so happen to want attention. If they don't want your attention and you confront them then there is the risk of being labeled clingy so they can push you away until oh let's say they want to the world to acknowledge them again with the grand news or disappointed they need the world to hear. 
Friendships are like relationships they come and go depending on how convenient it is for the parties involved. 
Again try your best to take it with a grain of salt and by no means it is your fault.


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## Furiosa

Try not to worry too much about it, I've experienced this a lot. I'll admit it seems to be even more irrittating I think when you are the kind of person that always promptly replies to messages. It's not you that's the problem, its other people. Some people are just lazy and have no manners, they cant be bothered to send a quick reply, even if it is just to say "Sorry, no I'm busy". Which is quite rude really considering it only takes a minute or so to do this. If you want an instant reply, why don't you try giving them a telephone call instead.


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## Allycat101

*I have the same problem*

Hi i wanted to say that i have the same problem i sometimes feel like my friends don't like me and ignore me on purpose and this one girl i've been waiting for her to be my bff since 1 GRADE!!!!!!!! shes says shes my "bff" now and now i try and message her or ask if she can get on our chat and she looks at me and goes to talk to another friend.:frown2:


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