# No references on resume due to Social Anxiety



## Auntie Social (Jun 3, 2016)

I have Social Anxiety and am considering looking for a new job. Weird problem, though. Due to my lack of social interaction at work, I'm having trouble updating my Professional References for my resume. One of my references hasn't seen me in 8 years, and nobody at my current job really knows me enough to be a reference. Not to mention my Personal References. One is my husband's mom and the other is his close friend. 


Anyone else with this issue? Suggestions?


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

I struggle with this too. Thankfully I have enough coworkers who like me that I can fill it out. But they are ALL my current coworkers...I think references are expected to have more variety. It's stupid. The job market is very heavily set up against people like us.  It is probably ridiculous to stress over it, but it still does seem kind of unfair.

Not sure how crazy this would be. But perhaps you could help people you maybe kind of know for the sole purpose of putting them on your references? Lol. I've actually considered doing that before. Help the old lady who lives next door carry her groceries in and maybe she will tell the hiring people what a 'sweet helpful person' you are.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Yeah my references consist a couple of old managers and a professor I had. I usually don't give out real phone numbers though. At one point I was making up names, putting family members, etc. I don't think references will make or break you.


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## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

Some companies make their managers do reference checks. Then there are managers like myself, where I ignore the forms I'm supposed to use to document said checks lol.

That said, I do like to see references on a resume and I do call them for candidates I'm seriously considering. They don't have to be current and former employers, but family members are a no-no. I won't even call those references as I know what I'm going to hear simply because they're family. If you're not sure who to put, see if some old teachers are ok with being listed. That's a far more trustworthy character reference than family.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Put down family as professional references but don't say it's family. Just let your family members know what's going on incase they receive a call. Contradicting the above post, I just put "references on request" because I hardly get asked for them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Fyoeu (Jan 20, 2016)

I'm in the same boat. I have exactly zero friends. What I do for references, is one, obviously out down a previous manager or supervisor. For all the rest, I just use cousins in my family who have gotten married and adopted their husband's name or my aunt or uncles. 

I have a really big family though, so that does out me at an advantage.


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## regimes (Aug 24, 2011)

if it's a minimum wage job i usually just fake them because they never tend to follow up on them


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## Aleida (Jun 11, 2013)

Auntie Social said:


> Anyone else with this issue?


In my country we don't really need references. But I studied in the UK and would have wanted to stay there. However, I couldn't even apply for jobs because there they require references and I was too shy to ask a prof (also worried about what they'd say about me if they got a call).


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## mt moyt (Jul 29, 2015)

i really really hope they dont me ask for references. i have exactly zero.

only now am i realising how difficult it is to be alone in this world. The corporate world really hates loners - from references to linkedin, and nowadays checking social media. They make it so hard to be alone.

Im going to put family for sure. My mom's family mostly have a different last name, and i might call up my supervisor from my retail job, idk. Some of my cousins are married so could ask them, but would be quite awkward.



> This Thread is more than 523 days old. It is very likely that it does not need any further discussion and thus bumping it serves no purpose.
> If you still feel it is necessary to make a new reply, you can still do so though.


i just encountered my first job application where they ask for references in order to apply


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

You're not doomed; some companies/recruiters/managers don't ask for references.

I work at a multinational corp and I was hired after 2 interviews and no background or referencing checking whatsoever.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Putting “references on request” is a smart play gives you a minute to find a person/people to speak on your behalf. 

I’ve been told many a story about people agreeing on stories with friends, family, or ex-coworkers so that when they get the call they know the deal. Had a friend ask me to do so recently. It’s fine so long as all they do is call & don’t check further details than that


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I think it depends on the country. I don't give references unless they ask for them. I don't mention any on my resume. 

My current company was real cute. They didn't even ask for references but went ahead and called my former employer without my permission. They must have googled the phone number because I certainly didn't give it to them. Luckily I am on good terms with them and they spoke to the right supervisor and not the one that disliked me. 

I noticed on a few applications they ask for references right from the start. That is such bullish*t. I don't want anyone calling my references unless I have received a job offer. I also had one place I interviewed at ask for references but they say said they were still interviewing people. Such bull.


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## Kandice (Jan 26, 2017)

I put "References available upon request" on my resume. Very few job applications I've done actually asks for references anyways, most don't. In the applications that do require me to type in a reference, I just put down my previous employer because I feel like they might end up calling them anyways.


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## That Random Guy (Jan 31, 2015)

I'm currently contemplating about asking a previous professor of mine to add as a reference. He's the only professor I've spent more than one sessions with after class (office hours). I don't think we're close enough to the point where he'd have anything decent to say about me--not to mention that I didn't really ever show my "good" side to him. I have respect for him as a professor and I've always commended his work ethic/teaching style above the rest in his department. I don't want to put family on my resume for the fear that it will be seen as a cop out or below the "standard". At the same time, I don't think having none would be beneficial to me either. I understand the need for fact-checking and validating one's integrity, but it shouldn't be the ruling basis for employment. I think someone pointed it out on a YouTube video, but if anyone's hiring process was perfect, we wouldn't see the inadequacies we see today with poor work ethic and slackers. Anyone can bluff their way through an interview, especially extroverts. The response to that comment was that their process deems to find the "ideal" candidate and not the perfect one. When everyone lies and uses their connections to get around, what do you define as "ideal"? Corruption?


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