# Is it creepy to tell a stranger that their pretty?



## franklin86 (Oct 31, 2013)

If the first thing I said to someone is that I find them attractive, is that creepy/turn off? Should I just try to have a conversation and not mention looks at all? Thoughts?


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## Kalliber (Aug 18, 2012)

I don't think it's creepy, if it was no one would flirt


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## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

It's not creepy. Everything in moderation. Though compliments along the lines of "you're beautiful" aren't exactly the most originals.

I like to pay attention to details and make comments based on my observations. If the person has a particular fashion style, if something stands out, which isn't necessary related to their physique (the way they speak, their accent, their glasses/haircut wtv...). I find that it leads more easily to conversation.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Mr Bacon said:


> It's not creepy. Everything in moderation. Though compliments along the lines of "you're beautiful" aren't exactly the most originals.
> 
> I like to pay attention to details and make comments based on my observations. If the person has a particular fashion style, if something stands out, which isn't necessary related to their physique (the way they speak, their accent, their glasses/haircut wtv...). I find that it leads more easily to conversation.


I prefer when a guy don't give compliments at all and just try to start a conversation. It's usually pretty transparent when a guy compliments something you wear instead of your looks, anyway(but it's preferable).

I think that women tend to view it as lazy rather than "creepy".


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## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

The more attractive that person considers you to be the less creepy they'll think it is, that's the unfortunately reality of that kind of straight forward approach.


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## housebunny (Oct 22, 2010)

Conversation is better.


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## tennislover84 (May 14, 2010)

I think it totally depends on the person as to how they will take comments about appearance. Some people might dislike those kinds of compliments, because they feel that they're being treated like an object, instead of a person. Other people will really appreciate being told that they look good. 

I definitely don't think it's creepy if it's just an innocent remark, with the intention of making someone feel good. The problem is you can't always judge how other people will react to anything you do, so there's no right answer to your question. Some people might think it's creepy, but if you know that your intention was different to the way someone interpreted it, you shouldn't have to feel bad. Not unless you keep doing the same things, after figuring out that someone really doesn't like it.

In real life, I'd be much too nervous to give compliments to random people. But I've said that a few people on SAS look nice in their photos. It worries me slightly that someone could take it the wrong way, but as so many of us here are down on ourselves, I'd rather say something that might help someone's self-esteem, than keep quiet for fear of being misconstrued. And I wouldn't say anything unless I believed it, either.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

Depends what you're intentions are I guess.

If you just want to tell someone they're pretty just for the sake of it, and not pursue anything further, than it might be ok. I get the urge to do this from time to time, but I almost never do.

If you want something more from them, like a relationship for example, then I guess it might seem a little....suspect.

Although different strokes different folks.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

It's only creepy if she doesn't find you attractive.


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## Jef (Jan 8, 2012)

I can tell you it happened to me once when I was on bus. The girl seating next to me starting a conversation, mentioning that I'm pretty (I'm a guy, by the way). And after I got off the buss she sent me a message saying 'omg, you are so pretty!'. Was she high? I wasn't anyway

This happened two weeks ago


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## Jef (Jan 8, 2012)

crimeclub said:


> The more attractive that person considers you to be the less creepy they'll think it is, that's the unfortunately reality of that kind of straight forward approach.


Yes, unless you have SA. I'm way much comfortable when someone doesn't mention how pretty I am ... what the heck


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

First thing you say to a stranger? Creepy.


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

I've had that happen to me IRL, and it was a really unpleasant experience. He went on as far as to tell me I look "really sexy", and then tried to have a casual conversation after that ... It'd be more expected to have that happen in a bar or something, but this was during daytime on a train station. Fled the scene and had wild paranoia about him possibly trying to follow me home.

Oh and before someone starts to whine: no, his looks had nothing to do with my reaction.


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## Idontgetit (Nov 1, 2013)

Jesuszilla said:


> It's only creepy if she doesn't find you attractive.





crimeclub said:


> The more attractive that person considers you to be the less creepy they'll think it is, that's the unfortunately reality of that kind of straight forward approach.


QFT


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## franklin86 (Oct 31, 2013)

My intentions would be to try to get a date with the person. Still creepy? I consider myself average looking btw.


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

Yeah, it SHOULDN'T be considered creepy, but unless you are in like the top 1% of dudes in terms of attractiveness, it WILL be considered creepy.


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## Mussolini (Jun 5, 2013)

Meh, it depends...If you have charm it could work, but if you say it all awkward like, it will be creepy. 

I guess it couldn't hurt to try.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

It is if you hire a skywriter.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

franklin86 said:


> My intentions would be to try to get a date with the person. Still creepy? I consider myself average looking btw.


Well I'd personally start a conversation first and maybe work in a compliment somewhere while talking to her. It wouldn't be the first thing out of my mouth. It's probably be the last thing I say before asking for her number.


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## cooperativeCreature (Sep 6, 2010)

they're*


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## cafune (Jan 11, 2011)

franklin86 said:


> My intentions would be to try to get a date with the person. Still creepy? I consider myself average looking btw.


That is always awkward (this may just be me being graceless, I don't know, but this is a scenario where I'm totally out of my element). I don't enjoy tossing around the word 'creepy', though (unless I feel like I'm unsafe) so I'll leave that out of it.

But anyway, usually compliments make it clear that the conversation is motivated by their physical attraction to you, they're looking for something other than friendship (personally, this adds a sh-tload of pressure to the interaction --> raised anxiety levels; all despite the fact that I'm not interested _in guys like this, ever_) and you're easily replaced with the next girl that walks by (as in, there's little interest in girls as individuals, which sucks because who doesn't like feeling like a special snowflake? I'm only kidding. Kind of.)

I wouldn't mention looks at all.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

^ What's up with girls hangs up on being replaced? Of course your not special yet, and for guys dating is a numbers game so obviously we're going to quickly move on (maybe not to the next girl we see) you're only special after we get to know you. Otherwise you're just a cute girl we want to know


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

My opinion is invalid because I'm a guy and all but I think it depends on how you say it

I have zero advice on how to get a date with her though.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

I'm going to give you some solid advice.

The actual part about telling women that their pretty is not the issue. We women LOVE compliments, we fish for compliments, we spend hours getting ready just to get compliments.

You need to ask yourself this however, if you're putting all your cards down on the table from the start....._what's left of the mystery_?

You need to think about the psychology involved.


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## Tinydancer20 (Jun 17, 2013)

1 time a nice caramel skinned boy told me I was pretty in Walmart.
I will always remember him. He had a kind aura


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

cooperativeCreature said:


> they're*


*Thur*


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## pati (Aug 15, 2012)

It wouldn't offend me and I wouldn't find it creepy.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Tinydancer20 said:


> 1 time a nice caramel skinned boy told me I was pretty in Walmart.
> I will always remember him. He had a kind aura


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## just smile (Nov 2, 2013)

no, not to me at least.
i remember walking to school one day and this guy stopped his car on his way to work next to me and got out to tell me i was cute and i just thanked him. it's flattering, not creepy at all c: it'll be creepy if the guy stalks you after the compliment, now dat's creepy lol


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## fineline (Oct 21, 2011)

in respone to OP.

uh..

yup, its creepy.

but if you've got game(like me ), then you can work your way up to that. and then it isnt creepy.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

It depens on how you say it and your face expression.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

To answer the question, yes, it is usually considered creepy. Girls think differently than men on this issue.


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## alienbird (Apr 9, 2010)

I think it's creepy.
I don't care if some random guy thinks I'm pretty. Like... your opinion on my appearance is unimportant, so keep it to yourself. 

If you're trying to date me, complimenting my appearance first is going to turn me off.

But women don't think the same about this. I'm sure some girls will go gaga if some guy tells them they're pretty.


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## avoidobot3000 (Aug 22, 2010)

TicklemeRingo said:


> It is if you hire a skywriter.


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

franklin86 said:


> If the first thing I said to someone is that I find them attractive, is that creepy/turn off? Should I just try to have a conversation and not mention looks at all? Thoughts?


If this person is a complete stranger than why make compliments at all ?

I did this for a while (I was trying to learn some pua at the time), but then I realized "why the hell should I give compliments to her" ?? I dont even know her.

Lets say after 2-3 meet ups and she seems cool, then yes.

Just my POV, no one compliments me too. So why should I feed other persons ego ? Only in case they earn it or have real qualities other then looks.


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## nevmx (Mar 20, 2013)

Some girls will think it's creepy, others won't. Either way, it doesn't matter whether it's creepy or not. If you want to do it, do it. Going for what you want in life isn't creepy. Being confident and going for things you want is an attractive quality. OR you can waste your time thinking whether it's creepy or not.

I used to think it's creepy. I don't anymore. I prevent my mind from playing tricks on me. In fact, I'm going out tomorrow to do EXACTLY THAT. Walk up to random chicks and tell them they're cute


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

i have seen a guy told a girl "you have gorgeous hair" before he got off the subway

and a guy once says to me "cool t-shirt"


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

This is one of those times where all the "aesthetics mean everything balha blah i wish i was good looking" threads show a degree of truth. How someone reacts is almost entirely dependent on how you look/carry yourself confidence wise.

If you're an overweight guy with a neckbeard and BO sweating profusely while mouth breathing, not giving off a confident vibe, you're going to make that person feel equally uncomfortable and possibly say the word creepy.

On the flipside if you're a well groomed male with a beautiful smile and a little swagger/confidence, you're going to make them feel much more at ease with what you're saying. People feed off the energy you're putting out in these situations; if you're uncomfortable it'll make them uncomfortable and vice versa.

(no offense to people with neckbeards and such, just trying to paint a picture)


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Amphoteric said:


> I've had that happen to me IRL, and it was a really unpleasant experience. He went on as far as to tell me I look "really sexy", and then tried to have a casual conversation after that ... It'd be more expected to have that happen in a bar or something, but this was during daytime on a train station. Fled the scene and had wild paranoia about him possibly trying to follow me home.
> 
> Oh and before someone starts to whine: no, his looks had nothing to do with my reaction.


I agree. At a bar would be okay. On the street would be creepy and it makes you seem very horny.


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## MoonlightSky (Mar 24, 2012)

No I don't see it as creepy at all, I actually think it's nice. Think about it the other way round, how would you feel if somebody did that to you? I often compliment people's looks before I chat to them, or even if I see somebody in town who has nice hair/clothes/style I'll tell them.  It's a confidence booster for them.


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

On it's own, not usually.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Umm, you can say pretty much *anything you want to a person*... It's all in the delivery - timing, body language, tone of voice...


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## Strategist (May 20, 2008)

Just Lurking said:


> Umm, you can say pretty much *anything you want to a person*... It's all in the delivery - timing, body language, tone of voice...


^ This.

So, a guy at my work who has spoken to me about 3 times over the course of 2 years emailed me to tell me that I was "looking good" the other day... and it was creepy imo. He's twice my age, ugly, and I'm not single. Now I wonder how frequently he's been looking at me in ways I don't want this nasty man looking at me and I avoid him at all costs.

So yes, it is creepy. However, if you've been flirting with someone for a while and they flirt back and you know they're single, they would be more accepting of a compliment on their looks, probably flattered. Don't just suddenly tell them they're attractive, makes you look shallow.


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

It really depends on the person. I know people don't like vague answers like that, because it's human nature to want everything to be yes or no, this or that. But there are too many people in this world, with too many varying opinions, for anything to ever be that simple. Some people might be really flattered by a compliment like that. It may make their day. Others might feel very uncomfortable.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Jesuszilla said:


> It's only creepy if she doesn't find you attractive.





crimeclub said:


> The more attractive that person considers you to be the less creepy they'll think it is, that's the unfortunately reality of that kind of straight forward approach.


I would feel flattered. Even if a guy I found unattractive told me I was pretty, it would make me feel good about myself since I automatically assume guys dislike me/think I'm ugly until I'm proven wrong. (I assume girls who get hit on all the time might feel annoyed by it if it's not a guy they're attracted to though.)

Although if the guy kept talking to me after the compliment, I might start to feel a little anxious, since I'm not used to random people approaching me - especially guys. I'm just not used to talking to people, in general.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

I wanted to leave a little note once telling a waitress I thought she was really pretty.

I didn't do it of course, but I wonder how people would feel about receiving something like that?


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

TicklemeRingo said:


> I wanted to leave a little note once telling a waitress I thought she was really pretty.


So what did she do or achieve to have "earned" that note if I may ask ? 

Like did she make a perfect job or was very nice to you?


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

Nexus777 said:


> So what did she do or achieve to have "earned" that note if I may ask ?
> 
> Like did she make a perfect job or was very nice to you?


 Well she was very nice and the service was fine, but really it's just an urge I get on the rare occasions when I see someone I find breathtakingly beautiful (the urge to tell them, I mean - I don't do it because it would probably be weird).


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

TicklemeRingo said:


> but really it's just an urge I get on the rare occasions when I see someone I find breathtakingly beautiful (the urge to tell them, I mean .


I dont see why you would have that urge ???


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

crimeclub said:


> The more attractive that person considers you to be the less creepy they'll think it is, that's the unfortunately reality of that kind of straight forward approach.


Pretty much this.


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## WoodenFreeze (Dec 11, 2013)

Really, it depends on the person you´re asking. Personally, if someone complimented me like that, it´s not like I would be like "WHY DID YOU CALL ME PRETTY?! I HATE YOU!". It wouldn´t creep me out.


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## apx24 (Jan 31, 2012)

I imagine that people would prefer it if you complimented their personality rather than looks.

I'd be flattered with any compliments.


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

TicklemeRingo said:


> I wanted to leave a little note once telling a waitress I thought she was really pretty.
> 
> I didn't do it of course, but I wonder how people would feel about receiving something like that?


In a world where the average (young) female feels like there's something wrong with how they look I'm sure some people will appreciate the compliment.

But to others it's just a sad reminder that at the end of the day it's really how you look on the outside that matters (never mind that she was nice and did her actual job well).


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

jollysaintold said:


> In a world where the average (young) female feels like there's something wrong with how they look I'm sure some people will appreciate the compliment.


Is it not conceivable that someone could be glad to receive a compliment about their appearance for reasons other than that?



> But to others it's just a sad reminder that at the end of the day it's really how you look on the outside that matters (never mind that she was nice and did her actual job well).


One of the reasons I didn't go through with it is precisely because I am mindful of that.

But I'd just make two points:

1. How we look on the outside does matter to some extent, and that's not necessarily a bad thing.

2. It's not the _only_ thing that matters, and I didn't claim that it was. You don't know what I might or might not have written, so please don't jump to conclusions.


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## David777 (Feb 6, 2011)

Just don't tell her that she got sex appeal and a booty so big it's like a Ferris wheel.


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## SpaceRanger (Oct 28, 2012)

Can't help but imagine OP as Patrick...


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

I think it is okay to tell someone they look good or you like their new style or something. I am not sure if approaching people and telling them how pretty they are is going to win you any points and probably is going to make them uncomfortable if they weren't aware that you were checking them out.


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## olesilentone (Jan 22, 2011)

Only time I ever commented on a girl's appearance was to a cute girl in my class, and I said "cool t-shirt" - it was a Joy Divsion t-shirt how could I not? even the teacher said something - but she didn't seem too welcoming to this.

I think you're best suited to try and find something to speak about. I am not sure it's creepy but the fact it can be considered such makes it only tougher for yourself I think. The fact you're talking to the person should be enough to tell them you seem to be okay with their appearance in some way, and I'm not sure what else needs to be communicated at that point as far as appearances.


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## vanishingpt (Mar 9, 2012)

I guess it depends on how the person says it. If you've got enough charm, no it won't be creepy lol but if that's the only topic of conversation then yeah, it might be a little creepy :b


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

No but I still wouldn't say that to someone I had just met.


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## Tokztero (Sep 12, 2013)

No.


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## franklin86 (Oct 31, 2013)

So I guess if I approached a stranger and started with, "Hey, how's it going? You're cute. Are you single? Can I get your number?" That wouldn't be good? Do I actually have to have a conversation with the person? If so, tell me what to say to someone that I don't know. Let's say we are both walking around the park. Should I comment on the weather and then ask them out? Or comment on exercising and then ask them out? How long should I talk to the person before asking them out? Should I touch them in a sexual way to show my interest? (Rub their arm for example)


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

*they're*


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

franklin86 said:


> So I guess if I approached a stranger and started with, "Hey, how's it going? You're cute. Are you single? Can I get your number?" That wouldn't be good? Do I actually have to have a conversation with the person? If so, tell me what to say to someone that I don't know. Let's say we are both walking around the park. Should I comment on the weather and then ask them out? Or comment on exercising and then ask them out? How long should I talk to the person before asking them out? Should I touch them in a sexual way to show my interest? (Rub their arm for example)


Touching is a no. I guess it's okay if you're flirting but I'm not well versed in flirting.

I usually talk to a girl for a few minutes before telling her she's cute and asking for her number. As to what to say, well that's up to you. There is no script to follow. I just say something like "how is your day" or "cool shirt are a fan of X" or the other day I saw a girl shivering and jokingly said "I see your enjoying this fine weather". Any small talk to break the ice really.


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## Gwynevere (Oct 6, 2013)

I would say telling someone they're pretty and then leaving is fine. But telling someone they're pretty as a way to start a conversation - absolutely not!


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