# Never been to a party?



## mmac900

I am in 2nd year of college and I have never been to a party with my peers in high school or college. How sad is that? Also, how big of a loser does that make me?


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## rctriplefresh5

mmac900 said:


> I am in 2nd year of college and I have never been to a party with my peers in high school or college. How sad is that? Also, how big of a loser does that make me?


about as big of a loser as me. i turn 20 on the 15th, and have never kissed a girl, never went out in highschool (actually got kicked out of highschool because a kid was picking on me and a teacher hated me and sided with him..not that it matters because im in the same college as most of those kids now and im doing better than they are.)

but yeah...your time will come.


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## secretlyshecries

I don't think that makes you a loser at all. Partying is overrated.


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## Setolac

I think I am the worst

Never been to a party
Never went out/ hang out with any friends
Never had any real friends
Never had a girlfriend
Never had a date
Never spent more than 10 minutes alone with a girl

When people find out about this, what will they think of me? Ofcourse im a loser.


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## rctriplefresh5

Setolac said:


> I think I am the worst
> 
> Never been to a party
> Never went out/ hang out with any friends
> Never had any real friends
> Never had a girlfriend
> Never had a date
> Never spent more than 10 minutes alone with a girl
> 
> When people find out about this, what will they think of me? Ofcourse im a loser.


yeah didnt really want to admit it but im htat way too. i have ''friends'' in class, but never had friends outside of class. i had a girl touch my penis for a second, but iwwas wearing pant bottoms. never have i kissed a girl, or been on a date.

im sure this post makes me seem like a man *****, let me clarify. i was in school and this random girl said can i touch your penis..and i was about to say i dont think thatd be a good idea when she grabbed it and walked away.
but yeah i have never had any friends or a girlfriend in my lfie, and ifear if i ever do get friends or a girlfriend, they will leave me when they hear this.
i mean what kind of girl will say oh youre 20 and never kissed a girl before thats so cute...most girls now adays are ****ty beotches. its hard to find a nice girl, they all are poisoned by the medias./


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## secretlyshecries

> I think I am the worst
> 
> Never been to a party
> Never went out/ hang out with any friends
> Never had any real friends
> Never had a girlfriend
> Never had a date
> Never spent more than 10 minutes alone with a girl
> 
> When people find out about this, what will they think of me? Ofcourse im a loser.


You're only a loser if you keep calling yourself a loser and dwelling on all what you haven't done. Look, there's still time to achieve all the things you want. I'm constantly beating myself up for the fact that I've hardly lived at all but in the end, what does it matter? There's _time_. The world isn't going to end tomorrow.

There's all this peer pressure-- we _have_ to have kissed someone by a certain age, we _have_ to have had sex at a certain age. Well I say screw all that. Wanting these things because everyone else has them or has experienced them is wanting for the wrong reasons, imo. You should want them for yourself and only when you're ready. I had my first kiss when I was 17 (just shy of my 18th). It was horrible. I felt a little better afterwards because I'd finally 'done it' (lol not that 'it') but no one else knew I hadn't been kissed up until that point so it's not like it mattered. I didn't like the guy, and I didn't see him again. I felt a little disgusted with myself afterwards for letting it happen because the guy was kind of gross. I would have prefered my first kiss to be better than that and if that meant waiting a few more years, so be it (that's not to say I had huge expectations of what it should've been like, I just mean I would've liked it to have been with someone who I genuinely liked as a person).

Don't worry so much about these things. They'll happen. I'm still a virgin and I used to worry about it all the time but at this point, I don't care anymore. I'm sure I'll meet someone nice eventually and if they're not understanding about it, they're not worth it anyway.


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## rctriplefresh5

secretlyshecries said:


> You're only a loser if you keep calling yourself a loser and dwelling on all what you haven't done. Look, there's still time to achieve all the things you want. I'm constantly beating myself up for the fact that I've hardly lived at all but in the end, what does it matter? There's _time_. The world isn't going to end tomorrow.
> 
> There's all this peer pressure-- we _have_ to have kissed someone by a certain age, we _have_ to have had sex at a certain age. Well I say screw all that. Wanting these things because everyone else has them or has experienced them is wanting for the wrong reasons, imo. You should want them for yourself and only when you're ready. I had my first kiss when I was 17 (just shy of my 18th). It was horrible. I felt a little better afterwards because I'd finally 'done it' (lol not that 'it') but no one else knew I hadn't been kissed up until that point so it's not like it mattered. I didn't like the guy, and I didn't see him again. I felt a little disgusted with myself afterwards for letting it happen because the guy was kind of gross. I would have prefered my first kiss to be better than that and if that meant waiting a few more years, so be it (that's not to say I had huge expectations of what it should've been like, I just mean I would've liked it to have been with someone who I genuinely liked as a person).
> 
> Don't worry so much about these things. They'll happen. I'm still a virgin and I used to worry about it all the time but at this point, I don't care anymore. I'm sure I'll meet someone nice eventually and if they're not understanding about it, they're not worth it anyway.


yeah it makes me sick seeing all these 11 year olds on yahoo answers asking about axe cologne and kissing. i mean what has society become, no wonder no one on this forum likes people..whats to like about the modern day society. but yes i agree iwant to kiss a girl just because i want to do it already. its frustrating not doing these things. ifeel like ill never do them hahas. i just want to have some fun for once in my life and get a girlfriend thats all./


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## lyssado707

Woo! I'll join the "never been to a party" club. I'm past the point of caring though.


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## Unlikely hero

partys are overrated. Just an excuse to get really messed up, do something stupid, then have an excuse the next day of why you did it.


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## its_a_rick

Meh, yeah, same here, 3rd year of college and no parties at all. Although I don't really mind, don't really feel the need to go to one.


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## TheForgotten

Been to parties a lot, not overrated, certainly not at first. You'll start to like them less when you grow older, and then you rarely go to parties except where older people are to. 
But well you are even older then me so I don't know if you'll still like it.

For me this applies:

Never had a girlfriend
Never had a date
Never spent more than 10 minutes alone with a girl (however I had a friend who was a girl but that when I was like 6-8 years old)
Virgin


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## Kush

rctriplefresh5 said:


> i was in school and this random girl said can i touch your penis..and i was about to say i dont think thatd be a good idea when she grabbed it and walked away.
> /


thats a situation id like 2 b in


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## KumagoroBeam

I was at a party with only very quiet/shy people, once. It was weird but also fun. 
None of us even dared to stand up and get ourselves something to drink. Me and my one aquaintance just sat there for the whole night, eating pretzel sticks, because they were standing right in front of us. 

Other than that, I've only been to one party. Later I found out that I had only been invited because the girl felt sorry for me :/

I don't have any real friends, never hang out with anyone, never had a boyfriend, never kissed, never held hands, never had a date, never had anyone express the slightest bit of interest in me.


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## Peter Attis

I've never been to a party either. I'd like to go, just to see what they're about, but I doubt I'd really say or do anything while I'm there.


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## FlickeringHope

I've never been to a "party." And I'm in my final year of college. 

I don't know...I mean, a part of me used to be okay with that fact. Like in high school. I always thought all the 'popular' kids were kind of dumb because of the stupid things they'd do that'd get themselves in trouble (like excessive drinking). Maybe also 'cause I knew college was coming and there'd be a chance there. But now I just sort of feeling like I'm missing out. 

It's weird...a part of me wants it, but another part of me *knows* it's NOT my scene at all. I'd just end up going there, sitting there silent by the wall...not dancing, not talking (or only talking to those that I KNOW)...and just looking at other people having fun.

I suppose the part of me that wants to go, is the part of me that would really love to experience what it's like to be so damn carefree and happy and easygoing as everyone else seems to be. But again, that's not me. :S

Meh. You are not alone. Right now I don't even have anyone to go hang out with. Not one single friend. And of the friends I've had, most only came to hang out with me as a last resort (when none of their other, "fun" friends were available.) It sucks.


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## mmac900

FlickeringHope said:


> I've never been to a "party." And I'm in my final year of college.
> 
> I don't know...I mean, a part of me used to be okay with that fact. Like in high school. I always thought all the 'popular' kids were kind of dumb because of the stupid things they'd do that'd get themselves in trouble (like excessive drinking). Maybe also 'cause I knew college was coming and there'd be a chance there. But now I just sort of feeling like I'm missing out.
> 
> It's weird...a part of me wants it, but another part of me *knows* it's NOT my scene at all. I'd just end up going there, sitting there silent by the wall...not dancing, not talking (or only talking to those that I KNOW)...and just looking at other people having fun.
> 
> I suppose the part of me that wants to go, is the part of me that would really love to experience what it's like to be so damn carefree and happy and easygoing as everyone else seems to be. But again, that's not me. :S
> 
> Meh. You are not alone. Right now I don't even have anyone to go hang out with. Not one single friend. And of the friends I've had, most only came to hang out with me as a last resort (when none of their other, "fun" friends were available.) It sucks.


I feel the same as you. I feel like I want to go and experience it and see what it's like but at the same time i feel like it's really not my scene.

I have seen a lot of people on here say they never had a partner, never kissed, had sex. I did and I do and have done those things. My question is, would you rather have been to parties or had a partner if you could choose?


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## DitzyDreamer

I've been to a couple of parties (stayed sober), and I've come to the conclusion that partying is overrated too. I'm pretty sure that I'm not alone when I say this, but I would rather go out and see a good/entertaining movie, enjoy a nice dinner, and play a card/board game than go out and get wasted.

And at any rate, isn't college supposed to be about the learning and academic experience, not the heavy drinking and flunking out of classes? Isn't college supposed to be about getting an education, studying abroad, and yes, finding yourself and not something out of jackass?

I have one good friend, and she's somewhat of a partier. She wants to get high Friday and go to some frat parties. I would like to go, but I'd rather see a movie or go shopping instead. :/


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## rctriplefresh5

mmac900 said:


> I feel the same as you. I feel like I want to go and experience it and see what it's like but at the same time i feel like it's really not my scene.
> 
> I have seen a lot of people on here say they never had a partner, never kissed, had sex. I did and I do and have done those things. My question is, would you rather have been to parties or had a partner if you could choose?


defiantely a parnter. i have no interest in partying, it seems stupid, but having a gf for a change would be nice. someone to study with etc. i do study with ''friends'' from my class a few times a week before class though so i am doing ok socially..while inside of school grounds that is except(not friends with anyone outside of school) i still need a gf.


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## Sydney s

Setolac said:


> I think I am the worst
> 
> Never been to a party
> Never went out/ hang out with any friends
> Never had any real friends
> Never had a girlfriend
> Never had a date
> Never spent more than 10 minutes alone with a girl
> 
> *When people find out about this*, what will they think of me?


Don't admit anything. Nor is there anything wrong with lying, my man :yes


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## pjm1978

You cant judge yourself by parties. I ve been to like a hundred, and threw some good ones as well including a new years millenium party that was legendary in my town, and you know what, that doesnt make me great or cool but just a guy that had fun. My advice just try and make new friends whenever you can and you might get some party invites.


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## mmac900

Well, one of the people I just met this year in one of my classes has invited me to a party about a week ago but of course I turned it down right away sigh. Im thinking that maybe it's just not my thing, I want to try it yet im too anxious. But now I doubt he will ask me again, so I dont have to worry about that.


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## FlickeringHope

mmac900 said:


> I feel the same as you. I feel like I want to go and experience it and see what it's like but at the same time i feel like it's really not my scene.
> 
> I have seen a lot of people on here say they never had a partner, never kissed, had sex. I did and I do and have done those things. My question is, would you rather have been to parties or had a partner if you could choose?


Oh, that's an easy one for me. I'd definitely rather have a partner (and this is supposing it'd be a good match) than be a partier. A relationship would be consistent...have someone to share with on a daily basis and just be there for you. And it could go somewhere for the future. Partying is temporary. And most people grow out of it.

I've never dated or anything. It's pretty much a foreign concept to me. 



DitzyDreamer said:


> I've been to a couple of parties (stayed sober), and I've come to the conclusion that partying is overrated too. I'm pretty sure that I'm not alone when I say this, but I would rather go out and see a good/entertaining movie, enjoy a nice dinner, and play a card/board game than go out and get wasted.
> 
> And at any rate, isn't college supposed to be about the learning and academic experience, not the heavy drinking and flunking out of classes? Isn't college supposed to be about getting an education, studying abroad, and yes, finding yourself and not something out of jackass?
> 
> I have one good friend, and she's somewhat of a partier. She wants to get high Friday and go to some frat parties. I would like to go, but I'd rather see a movie or go shopping instead. :/


1. actually, yeah...that type of stuff fits my personality better. Still think maybe I've somehow missed out on that rebellious stage of life without ever having experienced a party. But yeah...if I could have a group of friends who could really have a great time just watching movies, hanging out, playing games...that would be amazing. I sort of did my first year of college. But that group basically ended up getting sick of each other and fell apart. The first and only time I've felt I fit in. And now I'm back to having no one. Too short-lived. 

2. Of course. In saying I'd like to experience parties, I'm not saying I'd like getting wasted (necessarily) and definitely not to the point where I flunk out. But it would still be nice to get out and feel carefree for at least little while. And sadly, now being a senior, and getting a degree that seems worthless...and not having any friends or experiencing anything fun to boot...it just seems like my whole college experience is worthless. I feel the same, actually worse and even more clueless, than after high school graduation. :S


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## Sydney s

^what's your degree?


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## FlickeringHope

Sydney s said:


> ^what's your degree?


psychology, with a minor in criminal justice...no idea what I'm going to do...


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## kenny87

> I am in 2nd year of college and I have never been to a party with my peers in high school or college. How sad is that? Also, how big of a loser does that make me?


not sad at all really, I've never done it and don't want to really, not a party person, just because I am mostly alone and feel bad about being alone doesn't mean I wish to do what a normal guy would do.


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## DitzyDreamer

FlickeringHope said:


> Oh, that's an easy one for me. I'd definitely rather have a partner (and this is supposing it'd be a good match) than be a partier. A relationship would be consistent...have someone to share with on a daily basis and just be there for you. And it could go somewhere for the future. Partying is temporary. And most people grow out of it.
> 
> I've never dated or anything. It's pretty much a foreign concept to me.


We are definitely on the same page here. Anyone who would rather have a bunch of so-so friends and be a hard-cord partier than a soul mate isn't looking at the big picture, imo. The only thing I need is one close female mate and a boyfriend who can be lover and a friend. Who needs trillions of shallow friends anyway?



> 1. actually, yeah...that type of stuff fits my personality better. Still think maybe I've somehow missed out on that rebellious stage of life without ever having experienced a party. But yeah...if I could have a group of friends who could really have a great time just watching movies, hanging out, playing games...that would be amazing. I sort of did my first year of college. But that group basically ended up getting sick of each other and fell apart. The first and only time I've felt I fit in. And now I'm back to having no one. Too short-lived.


Ah. :kiss

I don't understand my peers and their obsession with alcohol and being drunk. In Europe, kids are nowhere NEAR as crazy over alcohol as kids in America. Maybe it is because they've been exposed to it all their lives or something?

And another thing I also do not get is everyone's fear of "silence". What is wrong with just sitting there and enjoying the peace and quiet? Even adults have been asking me why am I so quiet and serious all the time or why I don't talk constantly. Maybe it is because I don't have anything to say???



> 2. Of course. In saying I'd like to experience parties, I'm not saying I'd like getting wasted (necessarily) and definitely not to the point where I flunk out. But it would still be nice to get out and feel carefree for at least little while. And sadly, now being a senior, and getting a degree that seems worthless...and not having any friends or experiencing anything fun to boot...it just seems like my whole college experience is worthless. I feel the same, actually worse and even more clueless, than after high school graduation. :S


I understand completely. I was never the free-spirited rebel, but the "good girl." I've never screwed around, gotten drunk, or experimented in drugs like all the other "normal" kids.

Btw, your college degree and minor aren't worthless. You can branch out into so many things outside of criminal justice and psychology. There is law school, med school, you can be a cop, you can be a social worker, etc.

Now if you were an art history major, this might be different story.


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## Sydney s

FlickeringHope said:


> psychology, with a minor in criminal justice...no idea what I'm going to do...


Earn a master's degree?



DitzyDreamer said:


> The only thing I need is one close female mate and a boyfriend who can be lover and a friend. Who needs trillions of shallow friends anyway?


Apparently most people. When I do manage to make a friend or get involved with a girl, I'm always embarrassed that I don't have many friends or even one friend at times for them to meet.


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## FlickeringHope

DitzyDreamer said:


> And another thing I also do not get is everyone's fear of "silence". What is wrong with just sitting there and enjoying the peace and quiet? Even adults have been asking me why am I so quiet and serious all the time or why I don't talk constantly. Maybe it is because I don't have anything to say???


yeah...I don't get it either. Even my family, well, a brother-in-law of mine has done that before. I get asked the "whats wrong?" question a lot. Of course, there usually is something on my mind, though, something I'm worrying about. But not always!



DitzyDreamer said:


> Btw, your college degree and minor aren't worthless. You can branch out into so many things outside of criminal justice and psychology. There is law school, med school, you can be a cop, you can be a social worker, etc.
> 
> Now if you were an art history major, this might be different story.





Sydney s said:


> Earn a master's degree?


Advisors have told me a psych degree is pretty versatile. I suppose it's just scary it's not geared toward anything. I have a book about what to do with a bachelor's degree in psych...but all the jobs seem crap, esp. with only a bachelor's. It's stuff you could get into without the degree.

I don't think I can go to grad school at this point. Too burned out with school. I have a test tomorrow for a class, for example, and I'm avoiding studying at the moment by coming here. I HATE to study. Secondly, I just don't feel interested in anything at this point, so wouldn't know what to go into and work towards. I have no direction.

But what scares me most is just being able to get a job that I think I could do. Even though the social jobs sort of interest me, it's like I automatically dismiss them, thinking I'm incapable of anything social because I have the communication (verbal) skills of a 5-year-old.

ha...sorry, OP, for getting off topic. Certainly don't want to turn this thread into me and my dilemmas...just had to vent a bit..*sigh*



Sydney s said:


> Apparently most people. When I do manage to make a friend or get involved with a girl, I'm always embarrassed that I don't have many friends or even one friend at times for them to meet.


I'm kind of like DitzyDreamer...in that I'd be just fine with a couple of people I'm very close rather than have tons of superficial relationships. I am very embarrassed by my lack of social contacts, though. Other people find it strange. I don't even know how I'm managing right now on my own having virtually no-one in my day-to-day life.


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## DitzyDreamer

Sydney s said:


> Apparently most people. When I do manage to make a friend or get involved with a girl, I'm always embarrassed that I don't have many friends or even one friend at times for them to meet.


I don't think you should be embarrassed. There is such a thing as having too many friends. Socializing can be great, but imo, it can be extremely time consuming and stressful, not to mention a complete distraction from things that are really important (i.e. studying).

My cousin is a prime example of this. He is almost thirty years old, he has bounced from college to college. He didn't have any focus, and from what I've heard, he's been too busy partying and whatnot. It has been almost ten years, and he still hasn't graduated.


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## DitzyDreamer

FlickeringHope said:


> yeah...I don't get it either. Even my family, well, a brother-in-law of mine has done that before. I get asked the "whats wrong?" question a lot. Of course, there usually is something on my mind, though, something I'm worrying about. But not always!


You just kind of have to laugh of him. In this extroverted-dominated society, introverts are misunderstood. We are often mistaken for being too serious, angry, or even "tired" because we don't feel the need to open our traps 24/7.



> Advisors have told me a psych degree is pretty versatile. I suppose it's just scary it's not geared toward anything. I have a book about what to do with a bachelor's degree in psych...but all the jobs seem crap, esp. with only a bachelor's. It's stuff you could get into without the degree.
> 
> I don't think I can go to grad school at this point. Too burned out with school. I have a test tomorrow for a class, for example, and I'm avoiding studying at the moment by coming here. I HATE to study. Secondly, I just don't feel interested in anything at this point, so wouldn't know what to go into and work towards. I have no direction.


Have you thought about taking a year off, getting some few internships and some ome work experience before entering grad school?

And you are not alone. Most college students are not into studying.



> I'm kind of like DitzyDreamer...in that I'd be just fine with a couple of people I'm very close rather than have tons of superficial relationships. I am very embarrassed by my lack of social contacts, though. _*Other people find it strange.*_ I don't even know how I'm managing right now on my own having virtually no-one in my day-to-day life.


And I bet most of those people are extremely outgoing, the ones who are always texting and twittering away, or talking about the latest party they attended.

Do you have any acquaintances (sp?) or people you talk to before class? Those could be considered "social contacts." According to America's standards, you don't have to be uber close to someone to be a friend.


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## FlickeringHope

DitzyDreamer said:


> Have you thought about taking a year off, getting some few internships and some ome work experience before entering grad school?
> 
> .
> .
> .
> .
> 
> Do you have any acquaintances (sp?) or people you talk to before class? Those could be considered "social contacts." According to America's standards, you don't have to be uber close to someone to be a friend.


To the first one...I have thought about that. Haven't looked into anything at all, though. Don't even know where to start with myself, lol. :S I guess it's just being extremely unmotivated and worried about the future and expecting I'm incapable of anything. Avoidance is a huge problem of mine. Though, yes, I realize avoidance will not make this all disappear and everything will fall into place without any work. ugh. I keep putting off figuring out what I'm to do after graduation. I keep telling mysef in December, since I won't have classes at least, I'll really be serious about figuring things out.

To the second part I quoted...I had some friends my first year in college, but we pretty much already went our separate ways. My roommate has her long-time boyfriend and best friend she boasts about all the time on facebook. As for currently, I really don't have any one I talk to. I mean, there is one girl in one of my classes that I know from a class last semester, but I usually sit too far away from her. I often walk into classes late...and then leave straight away once they're done. The way my classes are set up, it's just not so easy to really get to know people. Sometimes, especially if we don't introduce ourselves at the beginning of class, which many teachers don't, I can go most the semester without knowing anybody's name. Horrible, I know. :/


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## Phibes

'The Million Dollar Hotel' movie has the best love story in my opinion.


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## veron

mmac900 said:


> I am in 2nd year of college and I have never been to a party with my peers in high school or college. How sad is that? Also, how big of a loser does that make me?


Have you been to children's birthday parties (as a child)? Those were the parties I enjoyed. Later on parties just went downhill - music I didn't like, alcohol (which I don't really drink), awkward moments, taking lots of pictures, etc. You're not a loser in my eyes for not having been to a party.


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## Gen Eric

I don't really know where people get the idea that every party has to look like the first 3 mins of a csi: Miami episode. There's a huge range of types of parties. Just on campus you've got everything from frat parties to phd parties. You've got Christmas parties and fundraisers and protest and rallies and pep rallies. Pick your party, seriously. Personally I like [the idea of] club parties. Cuz you have some meetings a get to know the people a little first, then you get to party with less-than-complete-strangers. I went to a toga party the ski club put on a few weeks ago, and it was fun. I still didn't talk to a whole lot of people, and didn't make any more friends but it was a start


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## kenny87

> Later on parties just went downhill - music I didn't like


I can relate somewhat, never been to a party but right before my high school prom(which I didn't go to) they handed out a voting sheet on what songs to play at prom, It made me want to puke. Seriously, the last thing I want is to be around craptastic music for hours and then come home with it stuck in my head all night.

I am also not a drinker or talkitive person which just makes parties that much more useless to me.


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## Cait Sith

I've never been to a party. I dont feel bad about it though. I'll go to one some day, and i'll enjoy it.


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## kos

For some reason i always seem to make "friends" with the party animals so I have seen my fair share of parties and to tell you the truth its just not my cup of tea. Most of the music that gets played is not my style, the conversation is boring, overall most of the people themselves aren't my type so its hard to have a fun time when your surrounded with things you don't like. 

Just a few days ago I had a drunken conversation with these two girls and I remember the one girl telling me how messed up her childhood was and even her adulthood. She had been raped three times, her cousins were stealing from her Mom and people dieing close to her ect... and I just straight up asked her how she dealt with all of that and she told me "by partying and having a goodtime". 

It seems to me that all the good looking people, the club rats, people with boat loads of friends, outgoing types, deep down are hiding something. If not then maby they just don't see the big picture. Its funny how you can be surrounded by people but feel so loney at the same time because you don't share the same feelings. What I see when I walk into some parties and most clubs are groups of loney people and at some point all the club hoppers will hopefully come to this conclusion too.


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## SilentLoner

Same here. I don't really care much anymore, but I do regret not going to at least one (and I had the chance) just to see what it was like.


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## solasum

Let's just say the last "party" I attended was a skating party.


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## kenny87

> Let's just say the last "party" I attended was a skating party.


I remember having those, had them in elementary school from back in the day where field trips where still ok. Only I never knew how to skate so I just played video games at the arcade in the back and ate junk food at the food area. That was a time when I wasn't so afraid to be out I guess.


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## letitrock

I'm 21 and in my 3rd year of college and I've never been to a party EVER


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## solasum

kenny87 said:


> I remember having those, had them in elementary school from back in the day where field trips where still ok. Only I never knew how to skate so I just played video games at the arcade in the back and ate junk food at the food area. That was a time when I wasn't so afraid to be out I guess.


Ah, good times. :blank I remember they played "Gangster's Paradise" about every other song.


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## KyleThomas

mmac900 said:


> I am in 2nd year of college and I have never been to a party with my peers in high school or college. How sad is that? Also, how big of a loser does that make me?


I don't think I've ever been to a party in my life, and I can't say that I feel I've missed out on anything.


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## kenny87

> Ah, good times. :blank I remember they played "Gangster's Paradise" about every other song.


I remember them frequently playing Backsteets back alot, don't remember to many others it was so long ago, I do remember that was guaranteed to be on the playlist, every time I went there, for every grade through 5th grade.

Now I am trying to figure out why I always went on the skate trips when I didn't even know how to skate. Guess I was just weird back then.


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## aNervousGirl

FlickeringHope said:


> I've never been to a "party." And I'm in my final year of college.
> 
> I don't know...I mean, a part of me used to be okay with that fact. Like in high school. I always thought all the 'popular' kids were kind of dumb because of the stupid things they'd do that'd get themselves in trouble (like excessive drinking). Maybe also 'cause I knew college was coming and there'd be a chance there. But now I just sort of feeling like I'm missing out.
> 
> It's weird...a part of me wants it, but another part of me *knows* it's NOT my scene at all. I'd just end up going there, sitting there silent by the wall...not dancing, not talking (or only talking to those that I KNOW)...and just looking at other people having fun.
> 
> I suppose the part of me that wants to go, is the part of me that would really love to experience what it's like to be so damn carefree and happy and easygoing as everyone else seems to be. But again, that's not me. :S
> 
> Meh. You are not alone. Right now I don't even have anyone to go hang out with. Not one single friend. And of the friends I've had, most only came to hang out with me as a last resort (when none of their other, "fun" friends were available.) It sucks.


This is EXACTLY how I feel.
Except, I'm a junior in college.

Like you, in high school it wasn't that big of a deal to me. In fact, I sort of looked down upon the so-called popular kids for partying hard and not doing well in school. But I think deep down I was kind of bitter about it too.

I figured things would change once I got to college.

It would be a chance to meet new people, make friends, be less socially anxious and inept....and go to a party that wasn't hosted by my cousin who only invites me out of pity.

Instead I just stayed rigid in my old ways.
It probably shouldn't bother me as much as it does...but I can't help it. 
Like you said, I can't help but feel like I'm missing out. I WANT to go to one, but I've never been invited because I haven't made friends.
And if by some miracle in the future I DID make friends, I have a strong feeling I would probably sit nervously in a corner, silently berating myself for going and not socializing at all.

Another factor (besides the fact that I WANT to go to one) that bothers me about this is that certain peers/acquaintances that I talk to always seem to place a significant amount of importance on partying. 
This past week I've made comments about how I'm so tired or didn't get enough sleep the night before. And without fail, the response I ALWAYS get is a knowing smile and a nod, accompanied with, "Partying last night?"

And they're not being sarcastic. Like, THAT could be the only possible reason a 21 year old is tired. And it's embarrassing to think that they might be catching on to the fact that I have no social life whatsoever with my response always being, "No, I just procrastinated on homework and went to bed late."

One time I had a strong feeling one DID know. He asked, "So ----, you party hard right?" But he said it in such a way that I KNEW that HE KNEW that I don't. 
When my coworkers are huddled up discussing the crazy house party the night before, I feel my stomach and throat tighten. I can never contribute and end up feeling more alienated than I did before.


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## GenoWhirl

My first party I ever want to was my 12th Grade Grad party in June this year. It was a lot of fun, had all my close friends there and transformed into a party animal with the over-use of alcohol and cannabis. Needless to say the night and day post party was not fun, never have been that sick to my stomach in my entire life and decided to never get that under the influence again.

I've been to two parties since and have stayed true to my word, I still like to get a little drunk and high to try and eliminate the feeling of wallflowerness but sometimes it's not enough and I still felt that way at the end of the third party I went to. The second one picked up the more drank but I didn't drink anywhere near as much as the first. The third party I just used for toking mainly. But yea this really doesn't contribute nothing to the conversation but I just thought I'd talk about my party experiences. I haven't gotten an ounce more confident by going to them is the moral of this rambling.


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## lonelyjew

I never went to a party in high school, and the only handful I went to in my undergrad years were through my brother or a friend, only one of which was actually fun (and it was by far the smallest, more of a get together than anything else). Now, after every exam, my classmates throw huge parties, and I don't find them fun at all. I just like hanging out with people, not having to scream, and be pressured to drink, and feel my socially anxiety go through the roof.

Seriously, you're not missing out on anything.


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## Kathykook

:groupI would love every one of you people if it wasn't the internet


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## seafolly

Well, I DID go to a lot of parties (even though I don't drink due to Clonazepam) from grade 11 up until third year of university. I went with it because my main goal in life was to appear as normal as possible, attempting to mask the major anxiety issues. But honestly, I don't know what you could have missed. People play super loud music so you can't hear anyone, you have to have awkward conversations with strangers who insist on saying hello but didn't think beyond that word, drinks spill everyyyywhere, and even if you do meet someone, they're likely too drunk to even remember you the next day. I got some sadistic enjoyment about seeing someone later that week and after they say, "Nice to meet you" I'll say, "Nice to see you again."  

It's an experience, sure, but it's definitely one you can live without. Sure I like being able to think to myself, "Okay, did that rather normally," in that stage of life but I couldn't tell you one thing I gained from it. Except maybe strengthening the illusion to those who didn't know me well that I'm "normal."


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## Nocti

Didn't go, or even get invited, to a single party during high school. Thought college would be different and decided to go to a party. So I went there and stood alone for an hour didn't talk to anybody, just watched as people got drunk and chatted with each other (I don't drink alcohol at all). I had never felt like such an outsider, quietly left and decided not to go to a party again. Maybe if I had someone to hangout with


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## Dark Alchemist

The last party I went to was in 8th grade :rain


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## stewie

Dark Alchemist said:


> The last party I went to was in 8th grade :rain


....and I don't want to go again, ever......

Parties make me claustrophobic :afr


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## The Professor

Parties are like hell and heaven to me at the same time. There is so much initial fear, especially if you only know a couple people (or no one) but once you get going it's awesome. Don't be scared. Most people are really friendly and at the very least make an effort to converse with you. Keep in mind, everyone is drinking... and if you are drinking it makes it that much easier. 

I must say, when I get (very) drunk I say some stupid things, but I also find that this is when I make the most connections and have the most fun with girls.


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## Shadow2009

Parties are really not a big deal. Seriously. Once you get the first party out of the way it sort of becomes natural and you don't even think about it. I don't think you're a loser, btw. 

If you ever want to chat about parties or how to prepare for going to one etc, drop me a message, i'll be happy to help you.  I know how you feel man.


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## Savril

Yeah I never went to a party but even if I was invited I wouldn't go. Parties wouldn't make me feel any better just even more lonely because i know I'm not interesting to talk to and seeing other people with friends and being sociable I would just feel worthless..
..and out of place.


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## Black Star

I HAVE FELT EXACTLY THE SAME!! God, this forum has become the new sliced bread! I don't know how I can help, but I can tell you that I'm here.


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## cybernaut

@ OP:
Yes, I've never been to a party in my middle and high school years or during college either. The majority of this society might find it sad. But I don't care. I just don't have that type of "party animal" personality and plus I'm somewhat of an outcast.


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## rhubarb

Eh, you're not really missing out on that much. Those frat-house parties you see all the time on TV aren't fun at all unless you like hanging out in mildewy basements, being surrounded by shwasted douchebags and waiting in line 20 minutes for punch that may or may not contain roofies. 
It's ten times more fun to just have a few friends over for drinks. That way, you don't have to risk some stranger puking on you.


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## scorpion91

I've been to one house party so far in college. I had maybe 7-9 drinks spread out 3.5 hrs. I'm not really into the whole Greek bs in colleges. I rather try to go to house parties as much as I can.


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## zer0small

Never been to one.
Shame shame. Though I do think they're not all they're cracked up to be, it still would be nice to gone at least to one.


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## Help please

I have never been to a party either, and I'm ok with it as I'm not big on the 'scene'


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## ThisGuy

Never been to a crazy frat party or anything. Just a handful of parties with nice engineers and CS majors who would take one shot and call it a night. None of us were really into the 'party scene', though I personally wouldn't mind experimenting hah, so kind of just play beer pong, get buzzed, and play video games.


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## Class

Haven't been to a party, and frankly I don't want to go to any parties.


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## DontDoSadness

Class said:


> Haven't been to a party, and frankly I don't want to go to any parties.


This.


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## MobiusX

one of the last times I went to a party was probably when I was a teenager invited to a kid's party, lol. I don't understand people who go to 'clubs' almost every weekend, I would never be caught in such a place, I would rather spend time at the library reading a book.


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## CityLights89

I remember in HS being invited to a few parties, although i couldn't go because of my mom and her interrogations. In order to quit hearing her questions, when people did ask for me to hang out or invite me to a party, I just told them "No,my mom is all strict." I think sometimes I actually wanted to go, in spite of my awkwardness, just so I could feel like a normal teenager. Eventually, people stop asking once they realize you are always turning them down with some sort of excuse. Did you know that my mom tagged along with me and my date (a friend) as a chaperon to my prom? That was embarrassing. Talk about feeling like the social loser. I came to the conclusion that a parent that always made people seem like villains is not a good way to raise a well-developed, social child because eventually the child will begin to internalize those feelings. As a result, these days I don't really want to go to any parties. What, food and music? I could do that at home. Now concerts are a totally different story :b


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## Darthbane2007

I've never been invited or attended one, and I don't/didn't care..


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## regimes

parties are overrated. you're no more or less of a person for having attended five million / never attended one.

i'm okay with them, but being an objective-oriented person i don't like that there's no point but drinking and talking. i'm good with dance parties, or activity centered get togethers (go to the movies, go eat ect)


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## Ambivert

I like this thread....makes me feel better about my lack of party attendance lol....


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## JennMcNeal23

They definitely aren't all they are cracked up to be. Binge drinking is a huge problem in college & high school students these days. You should be proud that you don't partake in that. Getting drunk and partying your way through your education is not "cool". Many students develop drinking problems and end up hurting themselves or others. I don't know about you but I don't need any more problems...


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## Jane Doe

I finished college without ever having gone to a party. Apparently I was so distant from social life that I hardly knew there were such things.


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## wolfinhiding

Me neither. Drunken/drugged idiocy just isn't my forte and guess what? I'm not a loser. I realize their are better things to do with my time than funnel it away in nights of raucous partying where the only objective (adolescent popularity) is to look like the biggest ***. 

I also didn't date in high school, or started here in college. I'm not interested in throwing myself around I guess. My problem is even if I did go to these parties, I wouldn't be able to associate with anyone there as small talk and gossip makes me wince. Then I'd be thinking what's worse? Staying in and enjoying my own company with occasional bouts of loneliness or going out, finding no one to relate to, and in the process being too damn distracted to relate to myself?


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## determination

Parties aren't all they are made out to be and neither are the people who go to them


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## Ambivert

Gawd I love this thread....bumpity bump bump


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## Donnie in the Dark

At freshers week I gave the whole party thing a go. Was quite fun while everyone was new, but now i really CBA with it.
I prefer socialising in small groups....such as.... on my own mostly (but with a friend if I am back home).


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## Intron09

I usually avoid parties and bar scenes, because I feel so out of place. I go to "gatherings" at friends' homes.

My voice doesn't project well, and so it feels like I have to try extra hard to talk to someone. And then when I can tell that they really didn't get what I said, I'll get all self-conscious that I'm making a fool of myself.

I see all my classmates who are so proactive in organizing parties, and spontaneous in attending large gatherings, and I just shudder at the thought of all that.

I've *never* attended a class party. I'm back in grad school since graduating 7 years ago. But I still will not attend a party.


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## CoolUnderFire

I've only been to like 3 parties before, and they were held by my own roommates. I'm graduating this year, so I really want to experience it before I leave.


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## DubnRun

I have never been to a party either


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## Evo

I've never been to a party.


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## quietmusicman

the party scene is kinda awkward. not a fan


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## Meta14

The best I've done is school dances. Definitely not worth the 10 bucks, because I can't dance (or I'm too embarassed to), it's difficult to communicate with friends due to the music, and my SA was too severe for me to really enjoy it. Hopefully alcohol will be able to remedy that in the future.


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## keithjm

I check a FB page that is for my old military unit. I am stunned to find so many pictures of people in Christmas parties, birthday parties, Thanksgiving parties, promotion parties, local festival parties, going away parties, group trips, New Years Eve parties, group vacations, athletic team photos, girls's night out, guys night out, pub crawls and note how they were able to do all this with me being completely oblivious of the social scene going on. I mean I worked with these people everyday. I guess it was for the best. No need to for me know since I was not part of any group(s). Par for the course


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