# Obsessed with people?



## ShyViolet

I'm going to sound like a total freak, but I'm wondering if anyone here can relate to this.

Do you ever become obsessed with a certain individual, not necessarily in a romantic way, but just someone you like and you think about them ALL the time? Do you feel depressed and wish you could just be in their presence? Do you envy their family and friends, the people who are close to them and get to see them all the time? 

I go through these phases where I'll have a particular person on my mind for what seems like every waking moment of the day. I'll be sitting around the house on a Saturday afternoon and think 'I wonder what so-and-so is doing right now.' I'll be watching a movie and think 'I wonder if so-and-so has ever seen this movie.' I'll hear or read a news story and think 'I wonder if so-and-so has heard about this.' I'll go to a store or a restaurant and think 'I wonder if so-and-so has ever been here.' Or when I go out I think it would be cool (yet nervewracking) if I happened to bump into that person.

Even when I'm in the company of other people I'll still have that person on my mind. From my experience there have been only two ways to get over an obsession: 1. A very lengthy period of time has gone by in which I haven't seen them and I know I'm never going to see them again. 2. Someone new happens to comes along who grabs my interest and becomes my new obsession (which of course doesn't even solve the problem... it's just a new person, same obsessive thinking, same pain.) It's really depressing and draining to be thinking about someone so much. At times I actually resent the person for "invading my mind" so to speak, while they probably never have a moment's thought about me. 

Advice such as "Get to know the person better. Invite them to hang out some time." wouldn't even be helpful because the funny thing is my obsessions are usually with people I can't be friends with. For example, I was once obsessed with my dentist. Another time I was obsessed with a married man where I was working (and his wife worked there too.) I'm guessing it's a psychological thing of wanting what I can't have.

Is this something only lonely people with few or no friends deal with? Can someone with tons of friends who is never alone be obsessed with someone? 

I apologize for my long, freakish rambling. I'm just hoping someone here understands me.


----------



## lilly

I think I understand this ShyViolet. Pia Mellody's books "The intimacy factor" and "Facing love addiction" might apply to what you are talking about.

What the basic ideas in the book is either you're a love addict or love avoidant if you are displaying addictive relationship behaviour:
a. love addicts received too little attention and love as a child and 
b. love avoidants were given too much responsibility as a child.
The love addict attracts love avoidant personalities because it feels familiar to the lack of warmth/attention they received as a child.
Love avoidants attract love addicts as it feels familiar to be around someone needy and they put up a wall to you because they are wary of becoming engulfed like their parents did to them in childhood.

Sorry if I'm way off the mark but I hope it will help. Pia Mellody's books are interesting anyway as they outline ways of recovery and healthy relationships.


----------



## embers

I relate very well. For me its an infatuation. There's never been a point in my life where I wasn't infatuated with someone. I only get obsessed with people whom there is no chance of getting involved with, or whom I know it would be unhealthy. So I would be a love avoidant type. It makes sense because of the way I grew up.


----------



## ShyViolet

Thanks for the replies. I'll have to check out those books some time. They sound very interesting. I guess I'm a love avoidant type too. I wonder if being bullied as a child has anything to do with it.


----------



## SqueakyGibson

Mm-hmm, it happens to me most times I make a friend (online, that is... I don't get to make friends in the real world). I think I already told you about one female friend who I became infatuated with and it drove me crazy and I had to stay away from her.

It's scary, because it's so close to what a stalker would be like. I wouldn't ever go as far as a stalker. But I bet it's the same beginnings of thoughts.

These poor girls who befriend me... then I get way too attached to them, just because they befriended me. I start to obsess over everything they say and do, reading deep things into their casual conversation. Of course when I do that, nearly everything they say has the potential to upset me, even if it's nothing to do with me (especially when it's nothing to do with me... it means she's not thinking of me!). I get so jealous of her other male friends, and how they make her laugh and make her happy, when I can't because I'm a humourless depressive. 

It's not even a sexual or romantic thing... there's no way a relationship could happen. Deep down I probably wouldn't be compatible with them anyway. It's purely because she gave me the time of day. One little taste of her attention, and she's my new obsession. 

I start to track when she's online in various places, staying hidden myself. I track her public comments, and make note of who she's befriending (often disliking who she befriends... "They'll be a bad influence on her, they'll corrupt her, they'll make her happy and take her away from me..."). Stuff like that. Like I said... it's the beginnings of stalking.

It's pathetic because I have no idea what grown adult relationships are like. Perhaps I'm like this because I haven't had real fulfilling friendships. I attach myself way to seriously to people who give me a slight chance.


----------



## LoneLioness

I'm obsessed with a ton of people, but I was extremly close to all of them in the past. I "stalk" them online. Have actually found out alot about them this way. I'd probably make a good PI....every single person whos ever been in my life in any way (even online, tho then only if I've become good friends with them) I've googled before and looked up on various sites. I can't stand to not know whats happening in their lifes now and whether of not their happy (some I wish the best for, others I hope their miserable). Except for 1 person, I've found at least a little bit of info on everyone. Including newsgroup postings, hot or not, my space, etc profiles of people, dating site profiles, online journals, etc. I'm so good at it I should open up a service :lol. Some of it does take alot of patience though, sure finding someones myspace is easy, hotornot or dating sites, you need to know keywords and stuff to search for and scour through other profiles before finding them. Needless to say stalking someone takes lots of patience :b


----------



## PlayerOffGames

i think im a love addict Ö.ö


----------



## ls56

I think I know what you're going through with that. 


Whatever the moment of connection, I start to think of that person. I'm afraid that I'm creepy to certain people because of it, and it causes me to avoid them. :hide


----------



## Letsplaywar

.


----------



## winduptoy

ShyViolet said:


> I go through these phases where I'll have a particular person on my mind for what seems like every waking moment of the day.


Wow, I seriously do that too. I thought I was alone! It's always people I'll never see, like once I was obsessed with my English professor from a few years ago. I'd always hope to see him in public places and stuff.



> At times I actually resent the person for "invading my mind" so to speak, while they probably never have a moment's thought about me.


I have those kinds of thoughts as well! I seriously say things like "Ugh, so-and-so, just get out of my mind!"


----------



## Razorblade Kiss

I've been going through that lately, it's so annoying to think about someone so much. Then a part of me will want to reach out to the person, but I know he's a piece of **** and I shouldn't bother so I talk myself out of it. It just hurts.


----------



## sweetxfracture

Thank god I'm not the only one..


----------



## sagotmee

deleting all my posts. kthxbye.


----------



## blueroses

i know its really late but i feel exactly the same and i have no idea why. I become obsessed with people that i could never get to know better or that I have met for a brief period but will never see them again..


----------



## Zack

Yes, a doctor I knew at school (he was not yet a doctor). He is my age. He was better than me at everything. Like you say, it isn't a romantic thing in the least - that would repulse me - but he has made his mark in the world. He has done the hard work - now, if he chooses, he can just coast along until a happy and prosperous retirement. Knowing him, he won't, he'll have greater ambitions, but just knowing I have been stagnating for 10 years makes me feel not only emotionally unwell, but actually physically feel sick.


----------



## RoseWhiteRoseRed

blueroses said:


> i know its really late but i feel exactly the same and i have no idea why. I become obsessed with people that i could never get to know better or that I have met for a brief period but will never see them again..


same here. also, sometimes, with people that aren't friendly with me.


----------



## janulik85

I too get obsessed with some people, but typically it's other way around. I tend to idealise and demonize people, but that is also part of my borderline personality disorder.

For instance, there are people who I regard very highly, they might be very pretty and very intelligent but they hurt me in the past.

What I normally do is that I ask myself similar questions.
I wonder what this and that person would think of me if they saw me wearing particular dress.
I wonder what the other person would think of me if they saw me behaving the way I was behaving other day.

In other words, I quite struggle to let go of people who hurt me and I think about them all the time.
I wonder what they are doing, I wonder if we were in touch with me if they would be friendly and I wonder how they feel about me if I ever cross their mind.

I must admit that the more I think about it, the more I loathe of them and what they have done to me.

Sometimes I even get crossed when I think of how I wanted to be their friend but they didn't care a cent.

I don't know if it makes any sense to anyone here...


----------



## Lazarusx

lilly said:


> I think I understand this ShyViolet. Pia Mellody's books "The intimacy factor" and "Facing love addiction" might apply to what you are talking about.
> 
> What the basic ideas in the book is either you're a love addict or love avoidant if you are displaying addictive relationship behaviour:
> a. love addicts received too little attention and love as a child and
> b. love avoidants were given too much responsibility as a child.
> The love addict attracts love avoidant personalities because it feels familiar to the lack of warmth/attention they received as a child.
> Love avoidants attract love addicts as it feels familiar to be around someone needy and they put up a wall to you because they are wary of becoming engulfed like their parents did to them in childhood.
> 
> Sorry if I'm way off the mark but I hope it will help. Pia Mellody's books are interesting anyway as they outline ways of recovery and healthy relationships.


You just blew my mind.

This is absolutely spot on for me, and it explains down to a tee how my recently previous relationship played out and inevitably fell apart.

I would be the love addict in this scenario.. as a child my father was often absent working all the time, and although my mum was present she was and is quite emotionally detached. The girl i recently became interested in, her father died when she was very young and she was forced to take on the responsibilities of looking after her younger brothers while her mum worked full time to support them.

So in our case, she was the love avoidant. I became obssessed with her in the way the OP described, always on my mind. While she on the other hand maintained her distance and was very cautious..

I often avoid those who show too much attention to me, when really these are the people i should be getting to know, instead i seek out those who ignore me or show little interest because im familiar with this.. but inevitably i end up becoming hurt.

Every person i've been interested in has been very distant emotionally; in fact the more distant/avoidant they are the more obsessed i become. But those who show me attention i run from or want nothing to do with.. how bizarre.

Thanks for posting that, this really astonished me.

EDIT: And i just realized this was a 5 year bump from 2007.. whoops!


----------



## Heavymetal123

janulik85 said:


> I too get obsessed with some people, but typically it's other way around. I tend to idealise and demonize people, but that is also part of my borderline personality disorder.
> 
> For instance, there are people who I regard very highly, they might be very pretty and very intelligent but they hurt me in the past.
> 
> What I normally do is that I ask myself similar questions.
> I wonder what this and that person would think of me if they saw me wearing particular dress.
> I wonder what the other person would think of me if they saw me behaving the way I was behaving other day.
> 
> In other words, I quite struggle to let go of people who hurt me and I think about them all the time.
> I wonder what they are doing, I wonder if we were in touch with me if they would be friendly and I wonder how they feel about me if I ever cross their mind.
> 
> I must admit that the more I think about it, the more I loathe of them and what they have done to me.
> 
> Sometimes I even get crossed when I think of how I wanted to be their friend but they didn't care a cent.
> 
> I don't know if it makes any sense to anyone here...


Its the same with me. I cant stop thinking about someone who had hurt me. I think about it all the time. I even tried getting close to her brother. No one is able to understand me.


----------



## SkylarMathers

This happens to me off & on. I at one time was alone for so long that anyone that even talked to me & sparked my interest I began thinking of things we could talk about in my head or go do together. & like you said, wondering if they have done this, or been in the place you're at at the time. This happened to me when this guy was funny & gave me a lot of attention. It was dumb though cause he was 2 years younger than me & I didn't truly like him. I was just happy for the attention, & even better, a guys attention. He was the first person to truly spark this for me last year or so. It seriously took me what seemed like forever to get over him. I have also had this on & off after this situation. I am glad I found this & learned that im not alone or crazy.


----------



## inthewater

This has happened to me a few times in my life. It's happening to me again right now, actually, so I was happy to find this thread. It's good to know I'm not alone.

For me, it's always an older man, every time. And that's no big surprise, considering the relationship I've had with my father. Looking at the posts above, I think I could be described as the "love addict." I never received love or acceptance from my father, and he abused me when I was a child. He barely speaks to me now. Even as old as I am, I still search for that validation from older men. And when I get obsessed with one of them, it's always someone totally out of reach, someone who will never feel that way about me. But I just always keep hoping. Yes, it's pathetic, but there it is.

When this happens to me, I think about the man constantly. That's no exaggeration. Almost everything I do in the day will make me wonder what he'd think. I imagine all kinds of scenarios. They always consist of my doing something to impress him, to gain his respect, and then he showers me with praise and compliments. Sometimes the fantasies become sexual, but not always. Inevitably, I start to idealize the man in my head, just based off my fantasies and not what I really know about him. This is probably the sickest part. I mean, it's happened to me more than once. I turn a normal man, old enough to be my father, into some kind of savior in my mind. No one can live up to that.

It's a habit I'd like to break eventually, but it fills a void for me. The imagined father figure has been more to me than my own father. 

I've never mentioned it to my therapist because it embarrasses me to say out loud how much I need someone's approval. I can't stand my own self, so I depend on another person's praise, even if it's only imagined. It's been helpful to write about it here.


----------



## loneliness

inthewater said:


> This has happened to me a few times in my life. It's happening to me again right now, actually, so I was happy to find this thread. It's good to know I'm not alone.
> 
> For me, it's always an older man, every time. And that's no big surprise, considering the relationship I've had with my father. Looking at the posts above, I think I could be described as the "love addict." I never received love or acceptance from my father, and he abused me when I was a child. He barely speaks to me now. Even as old as I am, I still search for that validation from older men. And when I get obsessed with one of them, it's always someone totally out of reach, someone who will never feel that way about me. But I just always keep hoping. Yes, it's pathetic, but there it is.
> 
> When this happens to me, I think about the man constantly. That's no exaggeration. Almost everything I do in the day will make me wonder what he'd think. I imagine all kinds of scenarios. They always consist of my doing something to impress him, to gain his respect, and then he showers me with praise and compliments. Sometimes the fantasies become sexual, but not always. Inevitably, I start to idealize the man in my head, just based off my fantasies and not what I really know about him. This is probably the sickest part. I mean, it's happened to me more than once. I turn a normal man, old enough to be my father, into some kind of savior in my mind. No one can live up to that.
> 
> It's a habit I'd like to break eventually, but it fills a void for me. The imagined father figure has been more to me than my own father.
> 
> I've never mentioned it to my therapist because it embarrasses me to say out loud how much I need someone's approval. I can't stand my own self, so I depend on another person's praise, even if it's only imagined. It's been helpful to write about it here.


There's nothing to be ashamed of. Fantasies are just fantasies. If daydreaming about older men is the worst you've got, then you're in good shape. 

And really, there's nothing wrong with an older man being with a young girl .. as long as the relationship doesn't rest on a questionable foundation.


----------



## Caramelito

Not only people, also happens with objects, subjects, everything...


----------



## inthewater

loneliness said:


> There's nothing to be ashamed of. Fantasies are just fantasies. If daydreaming about older men is the worst you've got, then you're in good shape.
> 
> And really, there's nothing wrong with an older man being with a young girl .. as long as the relationship doesn't rest on a questionable foundation.


Hi, loneliness, thanks for the response. Yeah, there is certainly nothing wrong with a younger/older relationship if both people want it. I've done it. I guess sometimes I feel that my excessive fantasizing has a negative effect on my life. But like I said, sometimes it's all I have to make me feel good. For now, I'm holding on to it.


----------



## Starless Sneetch

I do this all the time -- even with people I've never met, or people who are no longer even alive.

I am currently obsessed with an online friend of mine, and I know exactly why. He is the only person to ever express any interest in me and he's told me many times how interesting and cool I am. I know this could very well lead to a bad situation, but I am so caught up in it. I really like talking to him because he makes me feel good and confident in myself -- a feeling I've rarely had before.

My relationships like this are completely odd, since I have an incredibly loving and caring family, even today. We are as close as one could possibly be. I am not a "love addict" because I was neglected. So why do I struggle so much with confidence? Could it be simply that I have not had friends since elementary school? But my family are my friends, so what is wrong with me?


----------



## ScottyKnows

I'm a love addict in death throes. I've been completely obsessed with one person for a year and a half now. I completely alienated her with my weird, obsessive, needy behavior. I told her I loved her after knowing her for less than a week. ****ing pathetic. I left flowers on her doorstep. ****ing creepy. I would think about her all the time, want to be with her constantly. I based my happiness on whether I was spending time with her. If I wasn't with her, I wasn't happy, so I told myself. Loved to fantasize about marrying her, having kids, normal life, blah, blah, blah...

Never really obsessed about the other guys in her life until she started dating one of my two friends in life. Now I'm back down to one friend. End rant :mum


----------



## GrainneR

Ha ha, definitely. It's always someone who would obviously never be interested in me, even as a friend. I usually just think it's a weird way that I punish myself.


----------



## starviolet

I go through periods of this as well. It could be old friends, new people in my life, people I work with, old boyfriends or someone completely random. I'll research them, look for pictures and information. Since I've started medication this has subsided. I honestly think my lack of social interaction caused this just like it causes my maladaptive daydreaming. It was my brain's way of keeping my busy and coping. I honestly believe that.


----------



## Daria1990

Wow, I'm so happy to find out that I'm not the only one.

It happens to me with guys mostly, even in a totally platonic way. I get super intense with my feelings and want to talk to them all the time and get closer to them. I eventually scare them off because people aren't used to this intensity in "casual" friendships or relationships. 

I think I might be a love addict. I feel that way towards people who show interest in me and are nice to me, maybe because it's rare for me. Most people are not nice to me or talk to me, so when it happens I want to cling to it. 

I'm going through a situation like that right now. I met a guy that I had fun talking to and was extremely nice to me, and then it all fell apart because I wasn't able to be "normal" and "casual" and not stalker-ish =\
And it hurts badly when it ends.

I also identify with what you said about one obsession replacing another. It happens to me too. I'll probably forget all about him once I've met someone else to obsess over.


----------



## leelindalee

It's so weird how you can think that you're the only one dealing with something, but find out later that there are other people out there like you with the same problem. I usually get over it by keeping myself busy all the time.


----------



## SwtSurrender

ShyViolet said:


> I'm going to sound like a total freak, but I'm wondering if anyone here can relate to this.
> 
> Do you ever become obsessed with a certain individual, not necessarily in a romantic way, but just someone you like and you think about them ALL the time? Do you feel depressed and wish you could just be in their presence? Do you envy their family and friends, the people who are close to them and get to see them all the time?
> 
> I go through these phases where I'll have a particular person on my mind for what seems like every waking moment of the day. I'll be sitting around the house on a Saturday afternoon and think 'I wonder what so-and-so is doing right now.' I'll be watching a movie and think 'I wonder if so-and-so has ever seen this movie.' I'll hear or read a news story and think 'I wonder if so-and-so has heard about this.' I'll go to a store or a restaurant and think 'I wonder if so-and-so has ever been here.' Or when I go out I think it would be cool (yet nervewracking) if I happened to bump into that person.
> 
> Even when I'm in the company of other people I'll still have that person on my mind. From my experience there have been only two ways to get over an obsession: 1. A very lengthy period of time has gone by in which I haven't seen them and I know I'm never going to see them again. 2. Someone new happens to comes along who grabs my interest and becomes my new obsession (which of course doesn't even solve the problem... it's just a new person, same obsessive thinking, same pain.) It's really depressing and draining to be thinking about someone so much. At times I actually resent the person for "invading my mind" so to speak, while they probably never have a moment's thought about me.
> 
> Advice such as "Get to know the person better. Invite them to hang out some time." wouldn't even be helpful because the funny thing is my obsessions are usually with people I can't be friends with. For example, I was once obsessed with my dentist. Another time I was obsessed with a married man where I was working (and his wife worked there too.) I'm guessing it's a psychological thing of wanting what I can't have.
> 
> Is this something only lonely people with few or no friends deal with? Can someone with tons of friends who is never alone be obsessed with someone?
> 
> I apologize for my long, freakish rambling. I'm just hoping someone here understands me.


I am like this too man, I am obsessed with people that I meet out in real life and people that I meet online, it's like I feel connected to them and worry about them and if they are ok and how they are doing and I make up images and stories in my mind about how their day is going, it is always like we are trying to look out for them and see them safe and happy.

It's like you are obsessing/thinking about them and they are like your friends if you don't have any friends, you think about them and imagine scenes in your mind as if you're hanging out with your friends.

Even all the people I've met on this forum, I am obsessed with them, I guess it's normal, I want them to be ok and safe and happy, and I feel connected to them like they are in my mind my friends in reality that I wish I had.

I think this is a normal evolutionary survival tool, that we hang on to people we meet to ensure our own survival and also to ensure theirs too, now that we are kind of like researching psychology and behavior, it's like we think we have something wrong with us when no, we are supposed to have these feelings and obsessions for things cuz it is all for our survival on this planet.

It only gets to a sexual obsession if I feel attracted to that person, so then you can fantasize and have a Maladaptive Daydreaming disorder, sure no problem, but I wouldn't say I obsess sexually with just any one! lol

But it feels so good, ahh :time :love


----------



## imskyhiii

Well first i did notice this post is from 2007 omg but i was google searching something about being obsessed with people and i saw this. LET ME TELL YOU lol i can relate so much to this but sadly i am only this way with boys. like i literally think about them all day every day and whats worse is i even try to find them online so i can stalk them. weird


----------



## mb1221

imskyhiii said:


> Well first i did notice this post is from 2007 omg but i was google searching something about being obsessed with people and i saw this. LET ME TELL YOU lol i can relate so much to this but sadly i am only this way with boys. like i literally think about them all day every day and whats worse is i even try to find them online so i can stalk them. weird


yep online is the worst, you can stalk them all day. I thought his whole thing just happened from loneliness


----------



## dimpz0619

I am so glad I have found this!


I thought I was all alone but im clearly not, I know this is an old thread but its just good to get it out I feel like im going crazy...


This obsession with people has always been an older woman in my life first it was a youth leader then my college tutor now its my boss. I cant help it and it only happens when im around them, the youth leader and college tutor I don't really think about anymore but its now my boss... I want to be around her all the time and I try to think of questions and conversations in my head that will give me the excuse to see her, I try to immerse myself into their life's.. I feel so weird about it all the time but then cant help doing things and wonder/dream about weather they ever think about me or talk highly of me. its getting to the point where I need to know how to control it so I don't come across like stalker... can anyone give me any advice? I was loved and brought up very well by my mum so it cant be anything to do with that?


----------



## Rhianicks

I am so glad I have found this forum. I have also struggled with these obsessions for years, when I was younger it was celebrities or teachers but now is more often colleagues or older friends of friends, never anybody particularly close to me (but sometimes owing to the nature of the obsession you become closer to them as you find excuses to spend time with them/have things in common...anyone else find this?) that leads to a self- perpetuating cycle and if anything causes the obsession to intensify. 
Also if I have a romantic relationship with someone, even someone I am not that keen on, if they get in there and finish things before I do I can become completely obsessed with them, sometimes also their friends/new partners and just stalk them online constantly.
I feel like this obsessiveness hinders my ability to form real meaningful friendships or romantic relationships as I am always preoccupied with a pointless made up obsessive relationship in my head that I would choose over all others.

Watching the movie Notes on a Scandal with Cate Blanchett and Judi dench as the teachers made me realise I wasn't alone..I think the character of the older teacher is supposed to have a similar issue caused by loneliness...has anyone seen it/agree?

So glad to know I'm not alone
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Angel8000

I have had issue for as long as I can remember where all I want is to be close with a certain person I meet and hit it off with. They seem to be really into that at first or so it seems. It is usually a person who should be off limits anyway and I know I do that on purpose. I usually am able to hide that about myself for the most part so people never really see me. A while back I met a doctor who started working in the office with us who from the moment I met him there was what I believed was a serious once in a lifetime connection with. Now, I have been working with doctors and nurses for years so it's not a doctor thing. Ever since the moment we met I have been obsessed with him. I always think about him and what he's doing or if he ever thinks about what I am doing. Sometimes I dream award winning dramas about the two of us. He is always nice to me and we joke and play but I think to him that is all it is and it hurts. I don't know what to do with these emotions. I hate/love them. I want to be rid of them and never think about him again but I also feel that if I never saw him again it would devastate me. I sound stupid and pathetic. I realize that and I hate that about myself. the only thing I can do is shove it down and hope he never notices the truth behind the things I do for him or what is really behind the words I say for him. I mean I actually learned another language just to be able to talk to him in his native tongue! I guess I will have to keep pretending around him. I would hate to make him run screaming in the other direction at the idea that I might be a stalker....


----------



## Poiklp

So..... What about obsessions that make no sense? I don't know a thing about the person, and I know they don't like me. But it won't go away. Anytime I have down time (which really isn't that often) they pop right back up. It's kinda annoying as f. And I literally am getting a head ache from it


----------



## booyah

I can definitely relate to this. Has anyone found out how to deal with this problem? Would really appreciate it because its really bugging me.


----------



## sad1231234

I used to get obsessed with people but ever since i chatted to dozens of people in online gaming and from this website, i dont get obsessed anymore. I think the best thing for you to try is to just experience more and more friendships, that way you will eventually be less obsessive over people.


----------



## Chicksta

This happens to me too. I'm 32 years old and I've always gone through one obsession over another. I found this thread simply out of frustration for being obsessed with this guy. I had to look and see if someone else out there had the same issue. I am bisexual woman in a lesbian marriage. My childhood was pretty messed up. My father wasn't present because of depression. My older brother molested me for years. That's just a couple of things that I think are influencing how I am as an adult. I've always seeked and craved attention from people that don't want me. Unfortunately it usually starts with me offering sex. Even if I'm not particularly attracted to this person. In the back of my mind sex is the only way that will make men like me. Although the love that my brother or my father should have given me is what I truly crave.

My latest obsession is my contractor. We are currently building our home.. and even in the midst of all the excitement of starting this new and amazing chapter in our lives.. all I can think about is him. 

I offered sex.. told him I was a sex addict and that me and my wife had an open relationship (we don't). Im not even that attracted to him. He declined..and that made things even worst. I text him constantly making up questions about the house.. I think about him day and night.

I'm a fairly confident person. I feel I have a lot to offer. I've been happy in my marriage and I still can't get over these damn obsessions.  

This time though.. I've decided to reach out to him to talk. I told him briefly about my issues. He agreed to meet once building season is over. Part of me feels it's just another plot of mine to just be around him and maybe make him laugh and make him like me. But I'm hoping that by meeting him and forming some kind of friendship and dishing out why I behaved the way I did can maybe help me get over this..

Have any of you ever done this? Did it help or make things worst?

I'm glad I'm not alone


----------



## jbphillips2001

I know this is a 10 year old thread but I can definitely relate and am so glad to see I'm not the only one! I'm like others here that go on obsessing from one person to the next. In fact, my last obsession was a young lady that I really liked. At one time, she also liked me and we tried to date..for 2 days until she decided she couldn't date someone like me. That was her words. The thing is, she actually made me feel comfortable and many of my SA symptoms had gone away up to that point. Later on, she hinted (she never gave me a straight answer on what she meant) that she was worried that I was going to be extremely quiet around her Church family and any BF of her's couldn't be like that in her Pentecostal Church. Yeah, it was a mess.

After that, we tried to be friends but I couldn't help obsessing and overdoing everything. No matter how hard I tried to be a regular friend, it was too much and, long story short, we are no longer friends. She is the only person I've ever blocked on Social media. I blocked her not because of her actions, but because I didn't want to see her face or even think of her anymore. Obsessing is very exhausting or draining to me. It also depressed me to the point of wanting to end things. Thankfully, I'm doing better now.

So yeah, you can count me in on this too.


----------



## cupidstunt

Mainly a few youtubers I'm pretty much obsessed by!!

Because they are really nice looking,funny,random,help cheer me up with useful videos,etc!!


----------



## meatismeat

Can relate. There's this one guy in my school that's a grade above me and one day I just happened to see him and I've been obsessed with him since. I don't really think it's romantic. I can only see him for about 20 minutes every weekday. I can see him for 10 minutes in lunch break (9:45 AM to 10 AM) since we're from different grades, and sometimes 5 minutes if I come in early, and I catch a few glimpses of him when I'm leaving. I really, really like looking at him. He's extremely beautiful. He has clear blueish-green gray eyes, dark blonde, wavy and long hair, and very soft skin. His hair also looks very silky. Whenever I get close to him I get extremely nervous, I start sweating, my legs get weak, my heart starts beating fast and I just can't help but stare at him and slowly follow him around wherever he goes. I know every single one of the spots he stays in. Yes, I know I sound like a creep but he's so, so beautiful. Whenever I can see him, I just sit and stare at him, he's caught me staring a few times but I still didn't break eye contact. I try my best to figure out things about him but I don't even know his name or what his voice sounds like. I feel extremely nervous but relieved and happy when he's around. Even if he's far away I just feel so great being able to see him. I just really, really want to be with him and talk to him but I can't build up the courage to ever go near him. Once I got so nervous I almost passed out so I had to sit down and try to calm down. I think he noticed because he asked me if I was okay and I just lied and said I was nervous because finals were coming up. Whenever I'm not with him I'm constantly wondering what he's thinking, where he is, what he's listening to, if he's asleep or awake, what he's wearing, etc. This has happened with other people too but with him it's different. It's extremely intense, and yes, I'm gonna sound like a huge creep right now, but I like to record him and take pictures of him so I can look at them when I'm sad. Yes it's creepy but it works wonders.


----------



## chrissyq3838

meatismeat said:


> Can relate. There's this one guy in my school that's a grade above me and one day I just happened to see him and I've been obsessed with him since. I don't really think it's romantic. I can only see him for about 20 minutes every weekday. I can see him for 10 minutes in lunch break (9:45 AM to 10 AM) since we're from different grades, and sometimes 5 minutes if I come in early, and I catch a few glimpses of him when I'm leaving. I really, really like looking at him. He's extremely beautiful. He has clear blueish-green gray eyes, dark blonde, wavy and long hair, and very soft skin. His hair also looks very silky. Whenever I get close to him I get extremely nervous, I start sweating, my legs get weak, my heart starts beating fast and I just can't help but stare at him and slowly follow him around wherever he goes. I know every single one of the spots he stays in. Yes, I know I sound like a creep but he's so, so beautiful. Whenever I can see him, I just sit and stare at him, he's caught me staring a few times but I still didn't break eye contact. I try my best to figure out things about him but I don't even know his name or what his voice sounds like. I feel extremely nervous but relieved and happy when he's around. Even if he's far away I just feel so great being able to see him. I just really, really want to be with him and talk to him but I can't build up the courage to ever go near him. Once I got so nervous I almost passed out so I had to sit down and try to calm down. I think he noticed because he asked me if I was okay and I just lied and said I was nervous because finals were coming up. Whenever I'm not with him I'm constantly wondering what he's thinking, where he is, what he's listening to, if he's asleep or awake, what he's wearing, etc. This has happened with other people too but with him it's different. It's extremely intense, and yes, I'm gonna sound like a huge creep right now, but I like to record him and take pictures of him so I can look at them when I'm sad. Yes it's creepy but it works wonders.


it reminds me of this guy i was obsessed with in highscool i used to follow him in halls i thought he had no idea i follow him or even existed but my friends friends told him i like him so one day i noticed he stopped by my class and was watching me walk to class i thought i finally got his attention but no his friends told him i liked him i didnt want him to know i liked him so from Then on i ignored him. I used to get my friend to drive past his house so i could get glimpse of him and one time when i was drunk at a party i called him he said dont call him. I said why he said coz your ugly then laughed then i walked to his house down street when i was drunk opened his gate to his backyard climbed steps to his back patio and saw him laying on his couch LOL then he called me back next morning wanting to talk to me but i was too shy . he died recently


----------



## MightBeDeadSoon

I just want you to know you are not alone


----------



## MauEvig

Hello, I'm new! I know this probably isn't the place for introductions, but when I saw this thread I decided to join this forum. 

I've gone through similar situations like this myself throughout my life. The first big obsession I remember is with a teacher, and later with a friend in High School. I clinged to them so much I ended up pushing them away as a result. I had similar problems in romantic relationships. My current boyfriend and I have been together for almost eleven years, I know with him it started as an obsession but he was able to break me off of it. Unfortunately, I ended up obsessing over other people instead. I recently lost a job because...I became way too obsessed with my boss. I developed a crush on him, became extremely guilty because I'm already in a loving relationship, and knew there was nothing I could do about it which only fueled the obsession. It felt good to be around him, but when he lost his temper I'd just react extremely defensively, we tried to be friends (I learned the hard way, NEVER be friends with your boss!) but it only created more problems. I was also jealous because he's younger than I am, and inherited his position, it was a family owned business. His first job and he gets to be a store manager! If I want to get anywhere in life, I have to work my rear end off. I'm currently studying to be a teacher, and I already have three associates degrees under my belt but I can't find work in the first two because "I lack experience." (I went to school to GET the experience!) Case in point, it was a mess. Thankfully my boyfriend has been loving and understanding though, now I'm going to see a psychiatrist and try to sort things out. 

I think it'll be good for me to be in a support group though, but I wanted to add my two cents, when it comes to obsessing over people, I can completely relate. I do obsess over other things though, and I dare say I might have OCD with one exception, I'm not in the slightest bit neat about anything, although if I DO attempt to clean something, I'm going to end up washing the same thing over and over again while everything else remains a mess.


----------



## mxeknt

ShyViolet said:


> I'm going to sound like a total freak, but I'm wondering if anyone here can relate to this.
> 
> Do you ever become obsessed with a certain individual, not necessarily in a romantic way, but just someone you like and you think about them ALL the time? Do you feel depressed and wish you could just be in their presence? Do you envy their family and friends, the people who are close to them and get to see them all the time?
> 
> I go through these phases where I'll have a particular person on my mind for what seems like every waking moment of the day. I'll be sitting around the house on a Saturday afternoon and think 'I wonder what so-and-so is doing right now.' I'll be watching a movie and think 'I wonder if so-and-so has ever seen this movie.' I'll hear or read a news story and think 'I wonder if so-and-so has heard about this.' I'll go to a store or a restaurant and think 'I wonder if so-and-so has ever been here.' Or when I go out I think it would be cool (yet nervewracking) if I happened to bump into that person.
> 
> Even when I'm in the company of other people I'll still have that person on my mind. From my experience there have been only two ways to get over an obsession: 1. A very lengthy period of time has gone by in which I haven't seen them and I know I'm never going to see them again. 2. Someone new happens to comes along who grabs my interest and becomes my new obsession (which of course doesn't even solve the problem... it's just a new person, same obsessive thinking, same pain.) It's really depressing and draining to be thinking about someone so much. At times I actually resent the person for "invading my mind" so to speak, while they probably never have a moment's thought about me.
> 
> Advice such as "Get to know the person better. Invite them to hang out some time." wouldn't even be helpful because the funny thing is my obsessions are usually with people I can't be friends with. For example, I was once obsessed with my dentist. Another time I was obsessed with a married man where I was working (and his wife worked there too.) I'm guessing it's a psychological thing of wanting what I can't have.
> 
> Is this something only lonely people with few or no friends deal with? Can someone with tons of friends who is never alone be obsessed with someone?
> 
> I apologize for my long, freakish rambling. I'm just hoping someone here understands me.


Sounds like too much norepinephrine floating around in your brain.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

I only really get this way with people I have a crush on or famous musicians/fictional characters I also find attractive (well maybe in childhood I wasn't attracted to all the fictional characters I was obsessed with, but after age 11.) Otherwise I might find someone cool but not really like that. 

But there was one exception when I was about 13/14 or so with an older girl who I never spoke to. I'd get really excited whenever I saw her, and if I saw someone who looked like her or had similar glasses I'd hope it was her. And I remember my brother had spoken with her a bunch of times even though he's a year below me and she was 2 years above because my brother was very disruptive/loud/ADHD in school so everyone knew him and I think I tried to ask him questions at one point while downplaying my interest. Also at one point I renember excitedly talking about something (not sure what,) to do with her to my dad and he said it was weird. Anyway I don't know why I was so obsessed at the time I guess I just thought she was really cool and liked similar music and was kind of alternative but there were a bunch like that who she hung out with in her year so not sure why her but yeah.

Anyway in general I assume it's because I'm vaguely autistic.


----------



## Jewell

I do this too! I thought I was the only one. I do it with anyone older then me and whose female. I have a therapist who I want to know everything about, I want To be her favorite patient, I want her to care about me as much as she cares about her family, I think about what she’s doing, if she’s seen a movie I’m watching and just anything she’s always on my mind. I want to see her personal life so I’ve found her on Facebook and looked at her family members as well. I want to be close to her and want her to hug me like she really cares, I’m not attracted to girls so I don’t really know why I crave attention. I assume it’s because I don’t have parents and I look for loving mother figures so anyone who shows me kindness I become obsessed with. Not sure but nice to know I’m not the only one, I felt like I was crazy


----------



## Jagick

Obsessed with my best friend. For five years it was mutual and for the last year there was NO ONE else but her and I. We spent all of our free time together in some way. That abruptly changed in January and I can't cope. She is the only person that doesn't exhaust me. The only person I want to be around. The only social contact I really enjoy and can manage indefinitely.


----------



## CabecitaSilenciosa

My boyfriend has become my obsession. I keep saying I want and need other friends (one or two will suffice), but I can't seem to like or become accustomed to anyone else.


----------



## Blue Dino

I don't think I ever have outside of people I romanticize about. But I know this is common for people to obsess with others like this outside of romantic areas. Usually people you admire, idolize or enjoy being around with. I know people that have done this to friends, in an unromantic way. I think it has more to do with the person wanting to me like them to the point of mimicking all aspects of the other person's life.

For me, I guess I haven't really met anyone I fully admire. But however, I always tend to try to look for flaws in others though and just about most people I met and know, I will note their flaws. I might seem like a bad and intimidating person for this. I think maybe it's my own way to cope with my own insecurities.


----------



## meatismeat

meatismeat said:


> Can relate. There's this one guy in my school that's a grade above me and one day I just happened to see him and I've been obsessed with him since. I don't really think it's romantic. I can only see him for about 20 minutes every weekday. I can see him for 10 minutes in lunch break (9:45 AM to 10 AM) since we're from different grades, and sometimes 5 minutes if I come in early, and I catch a few glimpses of him when I'm leaving. I really, really like looking at him. He's extremely beautiful. He has clear blueish-green gray eyes, dark blonde, wavy and long hair, and very soft skin. His hair also looks very silky. Whenever I get close to him I get extremely nervous, I start sweating, my legs get weak, my heart starts beating fast and I just can't help but stare at him and slowly follow him around wherever he goes. I know every single one of the spots he stays in. Yes, I know I sound like a creep but he's so, so beautiful. Whenever I can see him, I just sit and stare at him, he's caught me staring a few times but I still didn't break eye contact. I try my best to figure out things about him but I don't even know his name or what his voice sounds like. I feel extremely nervous but relieved and happy when he's around. Even if he's far away I just feel so great being able to see him. I just really, really want to be with him and talk to him but I can't build up the courage to ever go near him. Once I got so nervous I almost passed out so I had to sit down and try to calm down. I think he noticed because he asked me if I was okay and I just lied and said I was nervous because finals were coming up. Whenever I'm not with him I'm constantly wondering what he's thinking, where he is, what he's listening to, if he's asleep or awake, what he's wearing, etc. This has happened with other people too but with him it's different. It's extremely intense, and yes, I'm gonna sound like a huge creep right now, but I like to record him and take pictures of him so I can look at them when I'm sad. Yes it's creepy but it works wonders.


I know no one asked but I felt the need to update on this. So. Update.
I have bad news, and good news. The bad news is my obsession has gotten 10x more intense then it was back when I first saw him. Whenever I don't see him I pretty much get sad for the rest of the day, until I can see him again. By see I don't mean talk or anything, just being in his presence, being next to him even if we're not talking makes me feel extremely relieved. It's like everything is okay and all my anxieties are gone, but then when he goes away I pretty much go back to being bored and numb. He's been showing up in ALL of my dreams lately, and by all, I mean all of them. I've been dreaming more than often, pretty much everyday, and in all of the dreams I've been having involves him. Is my mind trying to tell me something? I've looked up dream meanings and they all pretty much make perfect sense, I don't know though.
Good news is that I found a way to actually talk to him now, but it rarely works. Since he's a grade above me, his class gets out usually before mine does, so by the time I arrive he's already sitting on the spot he always sits. Not every week, though. Some weeks, my class gets out earlier than his class, which gives me time to put down a letter. I usually write letters 10 minutes before lunchtime, so by the time it's lunchtime and I can go downstairs I have 5 minutes before he arrives. I know pretty much every spot where he sits, so I know where to place them. The first time I tried doing it, to my surprise, he saw it, but he just read it and threw it in the trash. The second time he actually replied, I think he saw me pick it up, because he and I made eye contact after I picked it up, I don't know though. Initially, I was planning to keep the note but my mom found it, so I just took a picture of his reply, and burnt the note, just so no one found it, and even if anyone did find it it was basically destroyed. The letter method was working, but not anymore. I think he's avoiding them on purpose, either that, or he just doesn't see them. I placed them RIGHT NEXT to where he sits, which was really hard to guess since now he just sits on different places pretty much everyday, and even when I manage to find out where he'll go he never sees it, which is a bummer. I really, really, want to hear his voice, so for the past two weeks I've been planning to talk to him. I don't know what I'll say, or when, or even if I'll actually follow through, but that's not the main problem. The main problem is, I'm fat and ugly, and he's pretty much the opposite. I've been taking EXTRA care of my appearance lately. I've seen some results, while they aren't that obvious I do look a bit better. I'm pretty sure I've lost about 6 lbs, and most of the spots on my face are gone. But that isn't enough. No one wants a fat boy. On the bad side, I think I might be slowly developing an eating disorder.


----------



## Solomoon

Sometimes I miss the innocence of being young and having crushes. Back when just being in the same room, having them be nice to you in a small way, would make you feel as if you were dancing on the moon. Things become so unbearably serious as an adult. It's part of why I haven't had a crush in a while.


----------



## twitchy666

*mishmash*

life experience

took too long to enlighten me

I followed to simplest lead of perfection. do as told.

next
next

new
fired
cycle
repeat - short & long term

humans are a threat. endeavour & determination show me immediately at age 25 that my existing experience means nothing to anyone. I can do all the stuff I've been doing, to help. ignored. back turned

friends don't last
employers don't last. no colleagues last as long as me

Too much trust in humans. all a waste of my time. I did everything for them.
no human has done enough for me over long term. only quick snapshots. lack of attention. no future plans capable of them. I can see ahead for a chess or snooker game, maybe F1 Grand Prix race too. loads of track racing when I was 10 at clubs. social time.

still now in flip-flop transistor logic. staying away, avoiding humans
but knowing how much they're needed for employment, reliant on money...
rejection rife! why bother? hoping for luck seems sensible

probability the best logic.


----------



## twitchy666

*humans are in my way*

I want to kill 'em all

not early life

just after how much I've lost straight after being age 25

realising also all the people, family I even knew were a threat. nothing else.

negative. mockery not worth listing. immaturity bothered me, but only serious matters of rejection led my fate. all the people were playing me. nothing real

just never got on. 'love you' the most hoax, incoherent, impractical unreal manifestations. Only absolute hate received - hidden behind secret curtains

not surprised I keep coming up with fresh ways of expressing

always praised at school for best essay responses


----------



## icAntbreatheanymore

So glad I’m not alone on this. When I was young, I’d obsess about different celebrities and older guys at school that I had crushes on. Id think about what they were doing, and fantasize about them talking to me, or holding my hand. (OMG THIS SOUNDS SO STUPID LMAO) And I’d make up scenarios in my head about them confessing their undying love for me. 😂 Or If it was a celebrity movie star that I had a crush on, I’d pretend that I had a starring lead role in a movie they played in, and our characters would fall in love. I’d even pretend that they were in my room with me, and I’d daydream up some conversation that we’d have. My little sister did the same thing. I mean, I don’t think it was necessarily abnormal for a young girl to daydream about a crush she had, but who knows? That’s just something I can look back on and laugh about now. I was a lonely girl growing up, so I think that daydreaming was my way of coping. 
But I’ve taken an unhealthy turn over the last few years with obsession. I constantly obsess over people who have done things to hurt me. For instance, my sister in law. She’s a nasty person. Very Type A, opinionated, know-it-all, loves controversial subjects. Everything she says is always “right” She has no moral values. And she has a really big mouth. Loves gossip. She’s extremely arrogant and prideful...and sometimes violent. If she doesn’t like you, she’ll try to fight you. Well, after figuring her out, I’ve tried to keep my distance. But this past year, She did ,and said, some unthinkable things to me. It absolutely devastated me, because I was already in a really low place in life. She was downright horrible to me, and my Husband (her brother) never took up for me or defended me. (Another crappy situation in itself) Afterwards, I became obsessed with her opinion of me. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if my husband had stuck up For me, but nonetheless, I find myself constantly tormented over what she said. Just thinking about what she told me and said about me makes me see red. I obsess over it. Like, I wish she’d go fall in a hole somewhere. It makes me more and more mad the more I think about it. I literally hate her. And I know that’s not Christian like of me, but it’s the truth. What she said isn’t even true about me, but it still hurt me so deeply. I can’t let it go. And when I finally get to the point where I feel like I’m doing better mentally with not dwelling on it so much, she’ll do or say something else that takes me right back to where I started. I can’t quit thinking about it. Why should a sh*thole of a person have that much control over me? It shouldn’t be that way. But it consumes me. And my husband makes me feel horrible because of it. He thinks I just need to let it go. He just doesn’t really care. But I don’t know how to let it go, and stop obsessing. Help!


----------



## icAntbreatheanymore

Off1st said:


> Yup, and whoever I'm "obsessed" with (I probably wouldn't use that strong a term) would *never, ever *return my "affections" (again, not necessarily in a romantic way). *No reciprocation whatsoever, ever. *It seems I have a certain eye for something, and like certain personalities/vibe/style, but the ones that I like will hate everything about me and don't give a **** about me. And so they're nasty to me, and if I'm stuck with them, it's like a master and slave relationship - I'm the admiring one, catering to their every need, and they're the arrogant, entitled idiot who can abuse me. Human nature is cruel and baffling to me.


I understand completely. It's the same for me. I don't know that I'd call what I did as a little girl "obsessing" either. More like a school girl crush...but what I do now, I would consider obsessive. I literally do OBSESS about nasty people's opinions of me. And I have no idea how to fix it. LIKE WHY DO I GIVE A FLYING **** WHAT A SPINLESS LOSER THINKS OF ME? It makes me mad at myself, because I shouldn't care what a**holes think of me, but I do. The whole situation with my sister in law absolutely drives me nuts....and then when my husband has this "idgaf" attitude, it makes me feel crazy. He can just let go of it, but I've never been like that. Why am I wired the way that I am? It's only with people who have a negative opinion of me though, or with people who treat me horribly. I could care less about anyone else. It's like I have this deep-rooted desire to be liked by those who are cynical and cruel. I've always picked people that I have absolutely no business being around to be romantically involved with too. People who use, abuse, and play games with me. I'm always the one who "loves more" in the relationship. And just like you said, the feelings aren't reciprocated. My marriage was never like that AT ALL in the beginning, but it's slowly morphed into that kind of a relationship too. I'm the giver and he's the taker; Granted, he's working on getting better about not being a di*ck all the time lol, but still, I think "Am I doomed to have these kind of dead end relationships for the rest of my life??" Human nature truly is baffling.


----------



## Mealoux

Dunno if this place is dead by now but I just wanted to Voice my thoughts even though I don’t usually do this. I cling to one specific person at a time, always the same pattern. And without them I lose myself. My emotions become overwhelming and difficult to handle, I feel numb and weak. This has caused me to get myself in bad situations where I am being used or made fun of for this. With this one person, he was my everything. I’d stare at him constantly which probably creeped him out a lot. I would try to give him notes and would get jealous over girls who would simply just talk to him. I would literally plan out how to harm them in my mind, and no I don’t do this anymore. I wasn’t able to get him off my mind, I’d fantasize of our wedding and our future children, it creeps me out myself to be honest. 


I feel bad for the people I cling to, I’m not the prettiest. I am told by a lot of people I am fairly decent or good looking but no matter what when I see myself I feel disgusted by my reflection. I need someone to look after me, to tell me I’ll be okay, to love me and without that I am just a cluster of negative feelings. I feel so worthless. I have always been insecure about myself. With my recent relationship he calls me names and tells me I’m a awful person when really I never did anything. I know for a fact I didn't because all I try to do is care for him, try to spend time with him, but that’s just not enough I guess. Still, I am obsessed with him. I am well aware that it is toxic but I still can’t leave. I don’t wanna feel what it’s like to be all alone again. The feeling is unbearable. I am insecure, I can’t do anything. I can’t even make a descion on my own, it’s a living hell to me. I can’t explain these things to anyone else because they don’t understand how I feel. How it hurts that I can’t be on my own and how my mind infatuates itself with one person to keep a stable mindset. I truly do hope that someday I can live on my own. To be able to have my own house with a decent job without needing and craving some person like they are the blood to my body. Maybe I’m over exgeratting this, but ya that’s all I guess.


----------



## Yu89

Mealoux said:


> Dunno if this place is dead by now but I just wanted to Voice my thoughts even though I don't usually do this. I cling to one specific person at a time, always the same pattern. And without them I lose myself. My emotions become overwhelming and difficult to handle, I feel numb and weak. This has caused me to get myself in bad situations where I am being used or made fun of for this. With this one person, he was my everything. I'd stare at him constantly which probably creeped him out a lot. I would try to give him notes and would get jealous over girls who would simply just talk to him. I would literally plan out how to harm them in my mind, and no I don't do this anymore. I wasn't able to get him off my mind, I'd fantasize of our wedding and our future children, it creeps me out myself to be honest.
> 
> I feel bad for the people I cling to, I'm not the prettiest. I am told by a lot of people I am fairly decent or good looking but no matter what when I see myself I feel disgusted by my reflection. I need someone to look after me, to tell me I'll be okay, to love me and without that I am just a cluster of negative feelings. I feel so worthless. I have always been insecure about myself. With my recent relationship he calls me names and tells me I'm a awful person when really I never did anything. I know for a fact I didn't because all I try to do is care for him, try to spend time with him, but that's just not enough I guess. Still, I am obsessed with him. I am well aware that it is toxic but I still can't leave. I don't wanna feel what it's like to be all alone again. The feeling is unbearable. I am insecure, I can't do anything. I can't even make a descion on my own, it's a living hell to me. I can't explain these things to anyone else because they don't understand how I feel. How it hurts that I can't be on my own and how my mind infatuates itself with one person to keep a stable mindset. I truly do hope that someday I can live on my own. To be able to have my own house with a decent job without needing and craving some person like they are the blood to my body. Maybe I'm over exgeratting this, but ya that's all I guess.


Well, you just revived it. Anyway, best of luck to you. Hope you are able to stay strong and improve yourself. You will be OK. :hug


----------



## Blue Dino

I have done this a lot, but all of these people, are in a romantic way. Mostly romantic crushes.


----------



## mgra

FINALLY someone expressed exactly what I was feeling--wow. I was super obsessed with this girl for a long time (I believe I still am a little actually), but my current crush is starting to take over and completely become my obsession. 
This transition period is kinda weird for me because I feel like I have two people that I'm obsessed with right now---one romantically and one non-romantically. But I can feel the non-romantic obsession fading and my obsession with my new crush completely taking over. Don't know if that made any sense whatsoever.


----------

