# SAS Annihilation Project



## Andy AM (Feb 12, 2004)

I'd like to start this project about annihilating SA from our lives.

I'd like you to throw in here as many ideas as possible and then discuss them and wrestle with them until we get results out of them.

Here is the first idea to kick it off:

"Strive to attain personal happiness from the inside without any external dependencies as you can never depend on the outside world to make you happy as it is too volitile and may always let you down"

I believe if we do this, it wouldn't matter to us anymore how others behave around us and how our external environment is. If we know how to make ourselves happy, we just will remain happy.

Anymore ideas, questions, or anything to contribute, even an opinion?


----------



## Melusine (Jun 19, 2004)

Great idea  it reminds me of a quote by Mary Lou Cook "Seek not outside yourself, for heaven is within." I think about it alot.


----------



## Patrick79 (Nov 18, 2004)

True, I think that's a part of SA, seeking approval from others.

It's kind of funny that for all of our threads on this board...we don't have one about the nature of SA- what is SA? How does it develop, what are it's causes, how do you overcome it, etc.

I'm willing to bet that talking about our experiences and seeing those of others is part of the solution, but it's probably also true that you need an understanding of SA in order to get past it.


----------



## Ryanoles (Aug 4, 2004)

That's good thinking Andy, and I hope this can turn in to something positive.


----------



## Andy AM (Feb 12, 2004)

Thanks for the feedback guys. I'm looking forward to some more. 

In the meantime, here is a scoop of the latest techniques I'm trying.

Today, I decided to consider scary fearful events exciting, just as I would treat bungie jumping, roller coasters, skiing, and skydiving.

Whenever I feared doing something I wanted to do with people (like say Hi or ask a question), I would jump into the opportunity with all my fear while feeling excitment and courage. Boy, it felt good after doing it a few times. It kinda increased my confidence.

I'm gonna try to keep doing this. In the meantime, please try it gals and guys and tell me how it works for you


----------



## meggiehamilton (Nov 12, 2003)

That sounds like a good technique Andy. I will have to try it.
 
I have been trying visualization myself. Like before I enter a fearful situation I try to visualize myself in the situation before hand doing really well. This way I can stay positive.


----------



## Ryanoles (Aug 4, 2004)

That sounds like a good idea Andy, I never thought of it like that, I'll try that out and give my feedback on it.


----------



## Andy AM (Feb 12, 2004)

Ok here is some more feedback about that technique, which I shall call for now "Face your fears".

It worked well at work today though occasionally I got overwhelmed. At the end of the day I got worn out and didn't wanna do it anymore as I was too tired because I didn't have enough sleep yesterday.

Regardless, thoguh I don't feel like doing it anymore until I have more energy, I wanna point out that if this happens to you, don't be discouraged. Recognize your limits and try it again later when you feel you want that thrill of fear again.


----------



## rybo (Apr 5, 2005)

I went out of my way to talk to people I didn't know today. Went grocery shopping by myself (which I hate doing, way too many people).

Seems silly, but I was proud of myself. Had some serious sweating going on walking around by myself in the store.


----------



## Fly (Apr 9, 2004)

Andy AM said:


> Today, I decided to consider scary fearful events exciting, just as I would treat bungie jumping, roller coasters, skiing, and skydiving.


Hey, I do (or try to do) the exact same thing. And although I'm not consistent enough with it yet, it does help.


----------



## Andy AM (Feb 12, 2004)

Kudos for your effort rybo. Yes, I do experience the muscle tensing and sweat as well. Thanks for Right Guard for making such good deodarants :lol

Fly, that's cool. I have a feeling I will begin to experience some positive changes once I persist with it enough. In the meantime, I'm still working on attaining happiness from the inside.

Stay tuned for more, and feel free to post any ideas.


----------



## RHB (Dec 30, 2004)

'Thinking' is my problem...if I didn't think about things all the time I' be fine. Thinking I'm boring, ugle,weak,pointless,useless,meant to be like this forever,worthless,a freak etc etc. The one book that's ever helped is Stop thinking, start living but to do that takes a lot of will power but I know that it's the only way I'm going to get better.


----------



## Jochy (Mar 1, 2005)

i agree with you andy 100%, rhb i used to have those tornados in my head too untill less than 2 month i'd say. and you know what? i don't have that problem anymore, it doesn't mean that i'm ok at all, i still have the anxiety and need to work on it, but if you stop blaming yourself you'll feel a little better. how? one day i said to myself;

i'm a human being and not guilty, i don't want this problem so there's no reason to feel guilty, yes, sometimes i make mistakes, but instead of seeing those mistakes as unforgivable acts that take me down, i will think that is pretty normal that a person with anxiety reacts that way, so i will analyze my errors and try to make it better next time, but no more self blaming, i'll give myself a break.


----------



## Andy AM (Feb 12, 2004)

Thanks for sharing your experience with us Jochy.

I agree with you. However, sometimes I have trouble convincing myself that I am not guilty or worthy. 

Another technique that helps me lately when I'm overwhelmed with thinking and problems is to stop for a moment and realize that this is exactly where I am, sitting somewhere at a particular moment with those thoughts in my mind and these problems in my perception; nothing can ever change that truth; so what am I going to do next to get through the problem? How creative and intelligent will I be to accomplish that task? Once I start thinking this way, I often see problems as challenges, and I begin thinking creatively to solve them acknowledging facts such as that I can only tackle one part at a time and need not feel guilty if not all the problem was solved within a time frame. It is basically about accepting reality as it is before attempting to change it.

In a nutshell, when I have a problem, I think what is my situation NOW, and what can I do NEXT?


----------



## heavymetal (Jan 28, 2005)

Post sentence never this like Board on SAS, and have I now.


Last sentence didn't make much sense, right? Lesson #1: Strive to be imperfect, let go, mispell a few wrods, have fun, do something unusual and realize you can get through it and move on to something else. SAD can be a rut. Seek change, not just in our own attitudes but in our experiences, too.

Lesson #2: Learn to express anger appropriately. Be slow to anger, but don't hold it in so that you self-destruct. Realize that we can channel our anger into energetic pursuits and productivity. Sometimes when I'm angry, I grab my guitar and go wild with it. Others slam a tennis racquet against their beds. Anger is O.K.;just express it reasonably.


----------



## Andy AM (Feb 12, 2004)

Siddah said:


> Andy AM said:
> 
> 
> > Today, I decided to consider scary fearful events exciting, just as I would treat bungie jumping, roller coasters, skiing, and skydiving.
> ...


Not really I did not feel fake, yet perhaps more real sometimes as I actually did what I wanted to really do if I did not have SA, such as say Hi to someone or ask somebody a question.


----------



## Andy AM (Feb 12, 2004)

heavymetal said:


> Post sentence never this like Board on SAS, and have I now.
> 
> Last sentence didn't make much sense, right? Lesson #1: Strive to be imperfect, let go, mispell a few wrods, have fun, do something unusual and realize you can get through it and move on to something else. SAD can be a rut. Seek change, not just in our own attitudes but in our experiences, too.
> 
> Lesson #2: Learn to express anger appropriately. Be slow to anger, but don't hold it in so that you self-destruct. Realize that we can channel our anger into energetic pursuits and productivity. Sometimes when I'm angry, I grab my guitar and go wild with it. Others slam a tennis racquet against their beds. Anger is O.K.;just express it reasonably.


Thank you for sharing HeavyMetal (I like your nickname by the way, my kinda music  )

I sure will try lesson #1. I think it's gonna be cool and fun to try. It sure teases creativity.

As for lesson #2, I believe in it, but have problems still in expressing my anger. I didn't discover what channels my anger the most I guess. Thanks for reminding me though to seek better ways to channel my anger into positive or fun acitivities.


----------



## willy_wonka (Jan 31, 2005)

andy if you do kung Fu can't you channel your anger through that??

I do think you should come to enjoy the edge and excitment of pushing your comfort zone every day. I recently heard David Bowie in an interview say how he would always embark on a new musical path that he felt somewhat uncomfortable with and he knew that as long as he wasn't completely comfortable with it, he was on the right track. 

Myself I am organizing a party at my place. I've never don ethat before and so it is making me nervous. But at the same time however it turns out and however many do or don't come I can be glad that I made the effort.

I think the main thing we should do in eradicating our social anxiety is not to focus on eradicating it but rather to study and learn everything we can about happiness and happy people and purposefully an with all our energy do everything we can to become happier. Someone posted alink in this forum to a website that has a book and 14 hours of video on the subject of happiness. Go check it out!

Tynan


----------

