# Derealization.. Not so much a disorder but.. A symptom?



## saysomethingelse (Feb 6, 2012)

I've been experiencing derealization for three weeks or so now. I find, when I'm not looking at anything in particular, things are distant and almost blurry. But when I'm focus in on something, the lines seem to be sharper and everything in familiar but unusual. And I am so entirely detached for everything. Besides this heart-wrenching desire to be connected and have things seeming real. My ears feel muffled too, but also it's like i'm hearing every little thing. Also, I can't remember anything. I lose track of what I'm saying in mid-sentence and what I'm doing and I have to stop and think but it all tumbles away faster than I can grasp it. it's been going on for so long that nothing seems to make sense anymore. Reality seems to be non-existent. I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm not sure what I'm looking for in posting this. But maybe I'd have some comforting knowing someone has been through this before and I can move past it.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Yep - derealization is a mechanism for the body to "step back" when it is too anxious.
It is a scary feeling, but one that can be controlled. The key is to not let ourselves get worked up to that point.


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## saysomethingelse (Feb 6, 2012)

It's hard to not feel anxious when it's in my face from the moment I get up til the moment I go to sleep. All I can do is ignore it and I usually do this by distracting but this is getting ridiculous and I just want it to stop. I'm really scared.


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## LainToWired (Nov 10, 2011)

Derealisation is a ****ing scary experience. Last week saw me going and commenting on how huge my therapist's head looked, it felt hyperfocused. So I focused on a cup. Which also looked very close up.


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## Shredder (Apr 19, 2011)

Im not sure what derealization is but over the last couple of weeks Ive had an overhelming sense of detachment. It feels like Im living a dream and that my mind is foggy. Like the blurryness that you mention yet I havent seen the sharpness when focussing. It was very scary like I was losing my mind. As I came out of this fog phase I noticed that I was also starting to become more anxious again. It was then that I noticed that the whole time I was in zombie mode I was not getting anxious at all ... probably because I shut myself off from everything that would cause any anxiety.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

I have chronic derealization. Don't mean to scare you, but I've had it constantly for 8 years on end. It's diagnosed as Dissociative Disorder NOS, because Depersonalization Disorder usually isn't chronic, it's episodic. 

My symptoms are: Things look far away & blurry, like I'm looking through a foggy window; 2-dimensional vision that never goes away, I can't even drive because of this; my sense of touch is blunted a lottt; my sense of hearing is often amplified, I get very disoriented when there is a lot of loud noise around me. My sense of unreality is very strong, I feel like I'm living in a constant dream, I often think that it really "is" a dream. I start to have psychotic like thoughts a lot. 

I'm trying a drug experimentally with my psychiatrist to try to help it. :|

I hope yours goes away.


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## KRTotten (Mar 11, 2012)

I Have had constant derealization I do believe ever since July 25th of 2011, I remember the date so well because of how confident I was before I had a severe panic attack which resulted in a constant state of derealization, I have been to my family doctor about it, blood work was done, but my blood was healthy he said, I was smoking marijuana at the time of the panic attack, but it was so severe that my arms went numb, my heart pounded incredibly hard (Made me think I was having a heart attack, very common symptom), Also my vision went almost like "Zoomed" in and that's what created the panic attack in the first place, I can't recall the last time I've felt "Normal", if that's how one would label it, on a daily basis now I feel semi-normal sometimes but feel myself constantly stressed, angry, and confused all at once, coupled with a feeling of being detached in certain situations such as, If I look at certain things they seemed angled "Funny" is how i'd describe it, almost tilted or rounded in some senses, I use to feel complete peace walking through forests or listening to very calming music, I use to find joy in helping out around my community and also contributing and helping in anyway I can, Now I find myself barely enjoying anything at all, I have several other situations I'll posting as time goes by but for now I've dragged this paragraph on long enough, I guess to sum it all up I'm curious if anybody else experiences such feelings on a daily basis.


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## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

I've had this for about ten years. It's always there, the most constant anxiety symptom. Needless to say I had to stop driving in order to keep others safe. I'm told grounding helps people get out of it but I've yet to get it to work for me.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

It is a symptom.
When the anxiety overall descreases, this will happen less often.


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

saysomethingelse said:


> I lose track of what I'm saying in mid-sentence and what I'm doing and I have to stop and think but it all tumbles away faster than I can grasp it. it's been going on for so long that nothing seems to make sense anymore. Reality seems to be non-existent. I feel like I'm going crazy.


:sigh This part resonated with me in a big way. This right here is what bothers me the most.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

I created egroup for DP & DR here: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/groups/depersonalization-and-derealization-279/

I had it since at least the age of 13. Only until 2010 did I find out about it and was diagnosed with dissociative disorder not otherwise specified in 2011. This is because I have depersonalization AND derealization. The only way one can be diagnosed with depersonalization disorder if they only experience DP. I have DR 24/7. This is basically how I've been living my life. I always knew there was something strange how I saw the world but didn't allow myself to think about it much because the idea sounded crazy in my head. Everything I look at lacks vividness, clarity, solidness, everything that makes up the visual part of reality. I don't know if I really do exist or my surroundings, but I do know that something does exist because I experience it every day, except that it's dreamlike. For people who have DR it's more than a feeling. We really do see the world differently than others. I feel like I'm trapped in a dream and I'm waiting to wake up so I can experience reality again, which I haven't for a long time.

I feel like I'm outside my own body, that's the DP symtpom. I'm not entirely convinced that I do have this disorder even though I was diagnosed with it and even though it's the only explanation for my experiences. It's hard to believe that I'm 27 and all of this time, all of these years I haven't been experiencing reality? It's like telling someone who has been in a coma after they have come out of it many years later that they were in that condition for that long. The difference is that I didn't wake up yet, I remain in this dreamlike state. I don't want to get rid of this disorder. I am scared to find out truth. But worse, I am scared to experience reality because it's something I don't clearly remember experiencing. The images in my head are not that clear but I do get the impression that it was more real back then than now. It will make my SA worse I've been told by those who specialize in dissociative disorders. You get rid of DR, the feelings and emotions will be stronger, more intense, and seeing everything more real will make your SA worse. It's already bad. I will most likely have to quit my job if I didn't have this disorder.


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## Fear Goggles (Dec 18, 2011)

KRTotten said:


> I Have had constant derealization I do believe ever since July 25th of 2011, I remember the date so well because of how confident I was before I had a severe panic attack which resulted in a constant state of derealization, I have been to my family doctor about it, blood work was done, but my blood was healthy he said, I was smoking marijuana at the time of the panic attack, but it was so severe that my arms went numb, my heart pounded incredibly hard (Made me think I was having a heart attack, very common symptom), Also my vision went almost like "Zoomed" in and that's what created the panic attack in the first place, I can't recall the last time I've felt "Normal", if that's how one would label it, on a daily basis now I feel semi-normal sometimes but feel myself constantly stressed, angry, and confused all at once, coupled with a feeling of being detached in certain situations such as, If I look at certain things they seemed angled "Funny" is how i'd describe it, almost tilted or rounded in some senses, I use to feel complete peace walking through forests or listening to very calming music, I use to find joy in helping out around my community and also contributing and helping in anyway I can, Now I find myself barely enjoying anything at all, I have several other situations I'll posting as time goes by but for now I've dragged this paragraph on long enough, I guess to sum it all up I'm curious if anybody else experiences such feelings on a daily basis.


I had a very similar experience as yours. I hit 4 bowls of hash in a row without thinking, completely unaware of the effect it would have on me (first time trying hash). After a giggle fit (which is actually uncommon for me when I smoke), time started to dilate, everything slowed down and my heart began to race. This escalated into a panic attack (although I was convinced I was having a heart attack), and ever since that day I've been chronically depersonalized. It's pretty manageable when I'm not anxious, but as my anxiety increases as does my feeling of detachment. I go through the typical experiences of being frighteningly aware of the arbitrary and nonsensical nature of existence. I usually feel as if I'm floating above my body or peering through a veil at a universe I don't recognize. I sometimes feel like I'm going insane, there's a constant back and forth between my rational thoughts and my depersonalized ones. Words hold no meaning and emotions are hollow. It caused me to drop out of college, and I rarely talk to friends anymore. I can't feel anything.

So yeah, fun times all round. I know what you're going through. At least I think I do.


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## KRTotten (Mar 11, 2012)

Fear Goggles said:


> I had a very similar experience as yours. I hit 4 bowls of hash in a row without thinking, completely unaware of the effect it would have on me (first time trying hash). After a giggle fit (which is actually uncommon for me when I smoke), time started to dilate, everything slowed down and my heart began to race. This escalated into a panic attack (although I was convinced I was having a heart attack), and ever since that day I've been chronically depersonalized. It's pretty manageable when I'm not anxious, but as my anxiety increases as does my feeling of detachment. I go through the typical experiences of being frighteningly aware of the arbitrary and nonsensical nature of existence. I usually feel as if I'm floating above my body or peering through a veil at a universe I don't recognize. I sometimes feel like I'm going insane, there's a constant back and forth between my rational thoughts and my depersonalized ones. Words hold no meaning and emotions are hollow. It caused me to drop out of college, and I rarely talk to friends anymore. I can't feel anything.
> 
> So yeah, fun times all round. I know what you're going through. At least I think I do.


Yea Its kind of a frightening experience, for me anyways, I constantly question myself and ask things like "How is this possible", "Did things always look this way?, and I just never cared or it never phased me?", I'm also very self conscious when it comes to health now, I feel paranoid to eat and drink certain things, I smoke up to a pack of cigarettes a day now I can't quit those for the world being trapped in a derealization state, I never feel fully relaxed basically anytime anymore, It has been more "Manageable" to say the least though, at first It was so bad that things I looked at were constantly swaying, and when I would walk down long streets by myself I kind of get that never ending hallway effect you see in movies, also when It was at its worst I became semi-suicidal I guess, I did not want to take my life by any standard, but I would go to sleep at night sometimes and wish I never woke up (I believe the anxiety may have been coupled with depression, but also believe the depression was brought on by the anxiety), at this point in time I fear I'll never recover from it, It seems almost been to long now, Usually illness heals itself that's what the human body does, but at this point I feel its a part of who I am which is very unfortunate, I also find myself questioning reality still quite a bit to this day, its definitely ruining the quality of my life, I use to be so confident I would do anything in the world I had no fears, Now I fear even little things like getting on airplane, driving in cars as a passenger etc etc, I still have a job, I live on my own with my girlfriend and 2 dogs, I find myself mistreating my girlfriend (Not intentionally but because of the lack of emotion I feel for anything anymore), Hoping something during my experimenting with a treatment helps, (I Refuse to take any medications or therapy sessions due to the fact there all business's and the only thing they'll do is take your money or make you a ton more sick in the long run)


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## Beyking (Oct 23, 2012)

*Living with Chronic Derealization*

Hello everyone,
I'm 17 and I've been experiencing derealization constantly for 8 years now. I thought I was the only person living with it until now and it makes me feel comfortable knowing that it isn't just me it's happening to. The first year, I constantly payed attention to it but then after a while, this sounds weird but I just forgot about it and didn't notice it. I only notice it if I think about it, if that makes sense. There's nothing wrong with my daily functions - I can function properly as normal and my memory isn't distorted or anything - I am only short sighted which is normal for me. I've only recently noticed that it isn't my eyesight that has caused the derealization but my brain because even when I close my eyes, I feel as though I'm living in my own dream world. It started when something hit my eye when I was 9 and I remember it so vividly. From then on, I suffered from derealization but didn't tell anyone just in case they didn't understand. I feel as though I am me but I feel as though I'm not living. I don't know if I'm alive or not which sounds weird but I don't feel normal as in I don't know if I'm awake. From time to time I feel as though I'm in a coma and haven't woken up yet. My senses are perfectly fine but I don't feel as if what I'm seeing or hearing or feeling is now. I find it hard to believe I'm alive or awake. If this is happening to anyone else please tell me!


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## hazelblue (Jun 6, 2012)

I think I may have derealisation when I have a panic attack. Apart from that though, a few days this week I have been scared that I would do something bizarre (which I would never do). Is that derealisation? Like I was in a fed up mood and I automatically thought of something mean to say but I was worried I would actually say it. Then I was really tired and bored in class and I was really worried that I would heckle the lecturer. Yesterday I had coffee in a mug in class and I thought of pouring it everywhere just to create a scene and I was convinced I would actually end up doing it, even though I would never do that or have never seen anyone do that for any reason! I also have quite bad sleep and I think that might make me think like this.


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## sunflower456 (Oct 25, 2012)

You are not alone. I have been through this before and came out of it. Mine lasted months before it finally broke.


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## sunflower456 (Oct 25, 2012)

Im wondering if it did break all the way. I never knew the term derealization, this is the first I've heard of it. I always called it losing touch with reality. No difference I suppose, just what I always called it. I found some wonderful articles on google when I entered "losing touch with reality". I found helpful things and other people going through it.


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## drifter29385 (Apr 7, 2013)

Monroee said:


> I have chronic derealization. Don't mean to scare you, but I've had it constantly for 8 years on end. It's diagnosed as Dissociative Disorder NOS, because Depersonalization Disorder usually isn't chronic, it's episodic.
> 
> My symptoms are: Things look far away & blurry, like I'm looking through a foggy window; 2-dimensional vision that never goes away, I can't even drive because of this; my sense of touch is blunted a lottt; my sense of hearing is often amplified, I get very disoriented when there is a lot of loud noise around me. My sense of unreality is very strong, I feel like I'm living in a constant dream, I often think that it really "is" a dream. I start to have psychotic like thoughts a lot.
> 
> ...


May I ask what drug you're trying for it, and whether you think it helps?


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## Robert Paulson (Apr 11, 2012)

I've had bouts of depersonalization where I feel like I'm not in control of my actions, I'm just a robot who's actions are determined by and in accordance with the laws of physics. I float through life in a haze, not sure if anything's even real. As others have said, like you're in a dream.

The majority of the time I don't feel this way. My condolences to those of you who deal with this all or most of the time. I don't have much to add, just want to mention I hope you find relief in the future.


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## Alaska girl (Mar 21, 2013)

*I am in the club*

When I get anxious,afraid or overwhelmed I retreat. It seems like everything around me is fake a play that I am watching. I detach , retreat into my mind I focus on a pattern in the carpet, the drapes anywhere , I count, I tap my foot I do anything not to be where I am. I have had this since I was 5 or so . My therapist said I did this to deal with a trauma (I don't know what ) I can't remember although I have this nagging feeling my whole life. Now I do it as a coping mechanism for situations in my adult life. Wish I could remember the beginning of it all.....


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

drifter29385 said:


> May I ask what drug you're trying for it, and whether you think it helps?


Honestly, I don't remember what drug I was referring to in that post, it was a long time ago. I think I was referring to a stimulant, which I didn't experiment with long enough. The low dose didn't work, and since I was depressed at the time, I told my doctor to forget it. I regret giving up out of frustration and not trying a higher dose but depression influenced that decision.

I hate to say it, but the symptoms I described in that initial post by me are inaccurate now, because my disorder got significantly worse and I have more, very disturbing, symptoms. I prefer not to talk about it though, it's a hellish struggle that I'm trying to desperately find a cure for. Will probably try ECT in the future as all drugs are ineffective, might as well be swallowing sugar pills.


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## tieffers (Jan 26, 2013)

Fear Goggles said:


> I had a very similar experience as yours. I hit 4 bowls of hash in a row without thinking, completely unaware of the effect it would have on me (first time trying hash). After a giggle fit (which is actually uncommon for me when I smoke), time started to dilate, everything slowed down and my heart began to race. This escalated into a panic attack (although I was convinced I was having a heart attack), and ever since that day I've been chronically depersonalized. It's pretty manageable when I'm not anxious, but as my anxiety increases as does my feeling of detachment. I go through the typical experiences of being frighteningly aware of the arbitrary and nonsensical nature of existence. I usually feel as if I'm floating above my body or peering through a veil at a universe I don't recognize. I sometimes feel like I'm going insane, there's a constant back and forth between my rational thoughts and my depersonalized ones. Words hold no meaning and emotions are hollow. It caused me to drop out of college, and I rarely talk to friends anymore. I can't feel anything.
> 
> So yeah, fun times all round. I know what you're going through. At least I think I do.


My feelings of depersonalization seem to be acute right now. Having a lot of the feelings you guys are describing and also...can't even look at people. Their faces seem strange and foreign and unreal to me, including my own. I'm glad I found this thread because I thought I was being paranoid seeing a connection between marijuana and feeling this way. But it gets so bad after smoking. Sometimes not during the actual high, but I feel overcome by it with some periods of normalcy for a couple weeks after smoking a few consecutive days. I'm seriously done with weed. I really am. Having an occasional good high isn't worth this at all.

I've been wondering what the cause was, and the general consensus that it seems to be dissociation brought on by severe anxiety makes a lot of sense. I suppose you can't really treat depersonalization unless you treat the underlying cause - what made you unconsciously pull away from reality in the first place.


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## Beyking (Oct 23, 2012)

*depersonalisation or derealisation?*

These are exactly my symptoms »


MobiusX said:


> I created egroup for DP & DR here: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/groups/depersonalization-and-derealization-279/
> 
> I had it since at least the age of 13. Only until 2010 did I find out about it and was diagnosed with dissociative disorder not otherwise specified in 2011. This is because I have depersonalization AND derealization. The only way one can be diagnosed with depersonalization disorder if they only experience DP. I have DR 24/7. This is basically how I've been living my life. I always knew there was something strange how I saw the world but didn't allow myself to think about it much because the idea sounded crazy in my head. Everything I look at lacks vividness, clarity, solidness, everything that makes up the visual part of reality. I don't know if I really do exist or my surroundings, but I do know that something does exist because I experience it every day, except that it's dreamlike. For people who have DR it's more than a feeling. We really do see the world differently than others. I feel like I'm trapped in a dream and I'm waiting to wake up so I can experience reality again, which I haven't for a long time.
> 
> I feel like I'm outside my own body, that's the DP symtpom. I'm not entirely convinced that I do have this disorder even though I was diagnosed with it and even though it's the only explanation for my experiences. It's hard to believe that I'm 27 and all of this time, all of these years I haven't been experiencing reality? It's like telling someone who has been in a coma after they have come out of it many years later that they were in that condition for that long. The difference is that I didn't wake up yet, I remain in this dreamlike state. I don't want to get rid of this disorder. I am scared to find out truth. But worse, I am scared to experience reality because it's something I don't clearly remember experiencing. The images in my head are not that clear but I do get the impression that it was more real back then than now. It will make my SA worse I've been told by those who specialize in dissociative disorders. You get rid of DR, the feelings and emotions will be stronger, more intense, and seeing everything more real will make your SA worse. It's already bad. I will most likely have to quit my job if I didn't have this disorder.


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## watchideosorreadreco (Jun 14, 2013)

Beyking said:


> Hello everyone,
> I'm 17 and I've been experiencing derealization constantly for 8 years now. I thought I was the only person living with it until now and it makes me feel comfortable knowing that it isn't just me it's happening to. The first year, I constantly payed attention to it but then after a while, this sounds weird but I just forgot about it and didn't notice it. I only notice it if I think about it, if that makes sense. There's nothing wrong with my daily functions - I can function properly as normal and my memory isn't distorted or anything - I am only short sighted which is normal for me. I've only recently noticed that it isn't my eyesight that has caused the derealization but my brain because even when I close my eyes, I feel as though I'm living in my own dream world. It started when something hit my eye when I was 9 and I remember it so vividly. From then on, I suffered from derealization but didn't tell anyone just in case they didn't understand. I feel as though I am me but I feel as though I'm not living. I don't know if I'm alive or not which sounds weird but I don't feel normal as in I don't know if I'm awake. From time to time I feel as though I'm in a coma and haven't woken up yet. My senses are perfectly fine but I don't feel as if what I'm seeing or hearing or feeling is now. I find it hard to believe I'm alive or awake. If this is happening to anyone else please tell me!


I have heard a lot of testimonies from people with derealization, but I think your situation is the one which most strongly matches mine, only I would say mine has lasted for more like four or so years. I'm a little older--turned 18 this May. I actually don't have social anxiety disorder, but I found this thread when searching for derealization in Google, and so I decided to make an account. I think it would do both of us some good to talk.


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## Beyking (Oct 23, 2012)

Hi guys! 

I can totally relate to the last two replies of my message. I'm scared to come out of this state too because I forgot how reality is like. I don't even want to get diagnosed because I'm worried the doctors will misdiagnose me. I'm happy knowing I'm not the only one who faces this!


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## SilentWitness (Dec 27, 2009)

I used to have it real bad, where i felt i wasn't really there, i was someplace else. Now when that happens i tell myself, 'you're here ______, stay right here.' Somehow it works.


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## tryingbutfailing (Jun 7, 2013)

Sounds a lot how I felt when I was put on a strong dose of antidepressants


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## Captainmycaptain (Sep 23, 2012)

Out of curiosity, did your derealization set on after experimenting with marijuana? A lot of people, myself included, suffered from years of depersonalization after using marijuana. Mine went away after about two years.


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## JezZar (May 28, 2013)

I have only recently realised that I had this and still do but not as much. I can relate to all what has being said, it feels like Im wakening up from a dream but not fully awake yet. I use to go round in a say unconscious state of mind where I would do things without thinking, hearing without listening, looking without seeing sort of thing which made me do clumsy, irrational and completely detached from emotion and intuition. I thought I had autism because of this as I was just not there mentally.
I see things much differently now though, read situations on deeper levels, more aware of my thought patterns and switch back on when I lapse into the dream mode I was always in. I see some people saying there scared of experiencing reality again but why, for me I feel so much better being here, now able to connect with my emotions and intuition which allows me to connect with people much better. Running away from emotions will only make anxiety worse but confronting them will deeply enrich your life and understanding which is needed on the road to recovery.


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## Scarlettskkye (Jul 27, 2013)

*Depersonalization*

I used to have depersonalization. It's a scary thing, and it ****ed me up for good. I got it from smoking synthetic marijuana (stupid I know) I regret it completely, but basically by body reacted really badly to it. I started to feel like everything that was going on wasnt real, and I wasn't controling my movements. It was almost like being possessed with random actions, with your mind following slowly behind. My body felt numb and imaginary. I was with some friends, and during the time I had no idea who they were. Apparently I was hitting and punching a bunch of them, they said, but i didnt remember. I was so relieved when the trip was finally over, thinking I was lucky, but it wasnt over yet. At least a few times a day, some of the symptoms like the numbness, uncontrolled actions, and feeling as though i wasnt real returned. It was especially bad at night time. I couldnt sleep because my legs felt restless and numb and it was so scary. My mind always felt blurry and i feared that my sanity was coming to an end. Even my family noticed that i was acting different. I became more secluded because I was so scared, and i didn't want anyone to think I was going insane. Not to mention, at this point I had no idea what depersonalization was, I thought that everything i was going through was completely abnormal, so you can only imagine how much more insane that made me feel. So, severe-ish symptoms a few times a day b/w 5-10 minutes (longer at night), continued to happen for about 4 months. After 4 months, I still had the symptoms, but they weren't AS BAD. At this time, I also did some research and found out about depersonalization, so that helped. I continued going through mild symptoms for about another year, and nights continued to get better. Present day, I only get a very light form of the symptoms maybe once a day or every other day. (The disorder isnt necessarily a chronic disorder, thankfully). Although the symptoms aren't too bad now, the experience made my depression much worse and gave me severe anxiety. I used to have A LOT of panic attacks, and I still do. And worst of all, I never feel completely sane. I still question my sanity and feel unreal a lot of the time. So, biggest thing to take from this is ....

DONT SMOKE SYNTHETIC (down to earth) MARIJUANA!!!! PLEASE. Every body is different, therefore reacts differently.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

I actually had the weirdest episode yet at Sam's club today. I was waiting in line and I was very intently watching the guy in front of me count out money and then it suddenly seemed like time slowed down and everything was moving in slow motion. Everything seemed amplified ( Colors, sounds, smells ) and I started to panic a little bit. I felt like a ghost that was just absorbing absolutely everything around me, including people's words and even their moods. I then did the weirdest thing.. When I got up to the register at the food court, I gave the cashier money without even saying a word. For some reason, I thought she already knew what I wanted to order, like it had already happened before and a scene was being replayed. ( Sorry for not making sense, but that is the best I can describe it ).


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## Derailment (Jul 24, 2013)

Can this happen as a result of drugs? I did stupid things in high school when the brain is still developing. I'd smoke pot and have a lost sense of reality for days after, but nobody I talked to could relate. One day I took a bunch of benadryl with a friend and haven't felt the same since. The world is rather 2-dimensional, I have trouble remembering things, sometimes people sound muffled (not a good thing to have at work), and there is an obviously different mental change of reality.


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## Derailment (Jul 24, 2013)

Ah nevermind, just read the rest of the thread... Well, what a crappy disorder...


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## MayFay (Nov 18, 2015)

KRTotten said:


> I Have had constant derealization I do believe ever since July 25th of 2011, I remember the date so well because of how confident I was before I had a severe panic attack which resulted in a constant state of derealization, I have been to my family doctor about it, blood work was done, but my blood was healthy he said, I was smoking marijuana at the time of the panic attack, but it was so severe that my arms went numb, my heart pounded incredibly hard (Made me think I was having a heart attack, very common symptom), Also my vision went almost like "Zoomed" in and that's what created the panic attack in the first place, I can't recall the last time I've felt "Normal", if that's how one would label it, on a daily basis now I feel semi-normal sometimes but feel myself constantly stressed, angry, and confused all at once, coupled with a feeling of being detached in certain situations such as, If I look at certain things they seemed angled "Funny" is how i'd describe it, almost tilted or rounded in some senses, I use to feel complete peace walking through forests or listening to very calming music, I use to find joy in helping out around my community and also contributing and helping in anyway I can, Now I find myself barely enjoying anything at all, I have several other situations I'll posting as time goes by but for now I've dragged this paragraph on long enough, I guess to sum it all up I'm curious if anybody else experiences such feelings on a daily basis.


I had what sounds like almost the exact thing happen to me 2 years ago.
I've since been in the hospital, where they gave me enough Seroquel to create a zombie out of me. No Good. Have an active - Very Active - 5 year-old boy to take care of every day.
I've been gradually going off of the seroquel for a few months now. My state of mind is so fuzzy and confused and heavy like a rock. I can't concentrate, have no memory capacity, and even my every day activities are becoming severely affected. I feel like I am no longer able to function in this world, and I disassociate and derealize 24/7. 
All of this hell began immediately after a "seizure-like" panic attack?
My vision zoomed, I started convulsing immensely - both my arms spasming at the shoulders. Like you, I thought I was having a heart attack. I had absolutely no control over any part of my body - except my mind, but only for the first 10 seconds or so. After that, I didn't even know if I existed! ...suddenly after about 1 minute, it stopped! What a freakin trip!!!
Apparently my coping skills are non-existent. I feel like I broke that night! 
I'm so scared. I don't want to tell doctors all of my thoughts because I'm scared it will affect my son.  (yet another major anxiety!!!)


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