# would like to some input



## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Ive been talking to this girl each day for a week on the phone. We’ve gone out twice, once for 9 hours and the other time for 6 hours. I just don’t feel anything for her though. I mean I enjoy talking to her and had fun hanging out with her but have no interest in going further than friends. I am not sure what she wants with me though and I don’t want to give any bad signals from us talking on the phone each day. If you had someone of the opposite sex (or same sex if youre not straight) call you and talk to you each day, what would you think this persons interests in you are?

I have not talked to other women as much as I talk to her. Usually its just a date and I call them (or vice versa) every once in awhile, not on a daily basis.


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## SilentProphet (Jun 1, 2007)

Damn man, breaking it off ALREADY? I was hoping for a wedding  Just make sure you break her heart sooner than later! and don't keep going on more dates until you tell her how you feel G.


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## sunnyE206 (May 17, 2006)

If some guy was calling me every day, I'd think he had a thing for me.


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## Kardax (Dec 29, 2004)

Are you calling her or is she calling you?

-Ryan


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

*Re: re: would like to some input*



Kardax said:


> Are you calling her or is she calling you?
> 
> -Ryan


both


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## opivy22 (Mar 1, 2005)

Well, she should get the point if you keep doing this without making a further move. I don't see any need in sitting down and having a lets be friends chat with her since nothing beyond friends has appeared.


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## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

*Re: re: would like to some input*



SilentProphet said:


> Damn man, breaking it off ALREADY? I was hoping for a wedding  Just make sure you break her heart sooner than later! and don't keep going on more dates until you tell her how you feel G.


 :agree

She may just want to be friends, but in my experience, I have never been able to be strictly "friends" with a member of the opposite sex without feelings developing.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Since you've been on a few dates and you're talking every day, she might get the impression you really like her (not just in a friendly way).
It also depends on the conversation though. I can tell when a guy is really into me by what he says.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

I'm thinking she's really into you, Gumaro. Why aren't you into her?

I would let her know (gently mind you) about your feelings soon...


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

*Re: re: would like to some input*



NightinGale said:


> SilentProphet said:
> 
> 
> > Damn man, breaking it off ALREADY? I was hoping for a wedding  Just make sure you break her heart sooner than later! and don't keep going on more dates until you tell her how you feel G.
> ...


I agree. Very, VERY infrequently have I been able to maintain a platonic relationship with a woman. Even then, that's nothing a few drinks probably wouldn't have changed my mind about. I don't know whether it's because I'm a guy or what but I do find myself wondering what sex would be like with co-workers, girlfriend's friends, friend's relatives, that cute grocery store clerk, the chick that works at the pizza place and so on and so forth. I would never act on any of these desires because the thought of losing my current girlfriend is more overwhelming than the urge to bed the other women. However, even though we're all sort of friends by association right now, it should be noted that I would sleep with any of them in a heartbeat were I not involved.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

*Re: re: would like to some input*



path0gen said:


> I don't know whether it's because I'm a guy or what but I do find myself wondering what sex would be like with co-workers, girlfriend's friends, friend's relatives, that cute grocery store clerk, the chick that works at the pizza place and so on and so forth.


when i was with my ex, she told me that a guy told her that all guys think about sex when they see a woman. she asked me if that were true and i said its not. before and during our relationship, i never saw women like that. after we broke up, i did imagine myself having sex with women i would see. i thought that was kind of strange.

i find this girl very attractive but i cant see myself sleeping with her. maybe its the lexapro killing my sex drive but i have no interest in her other than a platonic relationship


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

I've experienced only a slightly diminished sex drive from Lexapro but none such that would inhibit my natural hormone-driven thought processes. I think you may be someone out of the 'norm' in terms of how you perceive women. At least everyone I associate with and ever have has admitted to being curious about sexual encounters outside of relationships while technically committed. I don't find it any more worthy of guilt than your average woman drooling over Brad Pitt or Orlando Bloom. 

Back on topic, though, I'd say the possibility exists that you're sending her mixed signals. Not because you're being overly flirtatious or accomodating but because of the frequency at which you interract. I have to ask, what do the two of you do when you're together? Is there a lot of poking fun, playful touching, etc.? Are the places you go together intimate or very public?


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

theres a lot of poking fun but no playful touching, just hugging hello and goodbye. the places we've gone to are very public.


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## SilentProphet (Jun 1, 2007)

What made you decide you didn't like her tho? The other day you seemed pretty ****ing happy when you hung out with her  Did you realize the more you hung out and talked the less you had in common? PLus the calling everyday probably didn't help! make you bored of eachother. Maybe it was just the fact that you went on date and were happy about the accomplishment? Truthfully tho from the pic she doesn't look like your type of girl at all.


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## GraceLikeRain (Nov 9, 2003)

*Re: re: would like to some input*



srschirm said:


> I would let her know (gently mind you) about your feelings soon...


 :agree


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

*Re: re: would like to some input*



SilentProphet said:


> What made you decide you didn't like her tho? The other day you seemed pretty @#%$ happy when you hung out with her  Did you realize the more you hung out and talked the less you had in common? PLus the calling everyday probably didn't help! make you bored of eachother. Maybe it was just the fact that you went on date and were happy about the accomplishment? Truthfully tho from the pic she doesn't look like your type of girl at all.


i like her, she has a great personality. its just that i dont see her as anything other than a friend. i still want to see her but not in a romantic way, just hang out and have fun (and not sex fun). we actually have a lot in common and she is a home body too. i dont think i am bored of talking on the phone with her since we spend about 2-3 hours each day talking. out of curiousity, what do you think my type is?


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## SilentProphet (Jun 1, 2007)

I just hope she doesn't take it to bad  maybe she just wnats to be friends too? doubt it tho :sigh Oh your type seems more Blonde/model looking girl.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

overall im more attracted to koreans than anyone else but im mainly attracted to women that have long, straight black/brown hair and have that girl next door look

*jennifer love hewitt*, trish doan, vicki costa, etc


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

I must have missed the thread when you posted a picture of this woman and discussed hanging out with her. Please link for more comprehensive feedback.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/for ... c&&start=0


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

Well, I'm not sure what to say. There's nothing at all unappealing about her, physically, and she seems to understand your social issues. Two characteristics that are very difficult to find in a potential companion. I honestly hope you're not ruling out the possibility of a romantic relationship just because she's not Asian. To each his/her own, I suppose.

Judging by your contributions to the other thread and what you've said on this one, I'd say that she's probably hoping that something more comes of your friendship than random daily phone calls and public excursions. You haven't given any reason for her to think otherwise and, in some cases, that's enough for someone to assume you're keeping an open mind. I don't think it's necessary that you create an awkward situation where you sit her down and tell her you're not interested in expanding on the relationship. That would seem both presumptuous and carries the risk of outright humiliation if you're wrong about her. Simply weaning off the casual outtings should suffice.

I think there may be a little than meets the eye here, though. I understand that you haven't been out much lately and social endeavors are both rewarding and inspiring but have you thought about what makes her so interesting and fun to be around? I have a mental list of things I look for in a significant other and the ability to communicate and respect one another as friends is paramount. Friendship is the basis of most long-term successful relationships, not lust, passion or co-dependence, though some people might think so. It would be a shame to exclude the possibility that this may some day turn into something more. Often times you don't realize the opportunities you've missed out on until they're gone.


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## SilentProphet (Jun 1, 2007)

*Re: re: would like to some input*



Gumaro said:


> overall im more attracted to koreans than anyone else but im mainly attracted to women that have long, straight black/brown hair and have that girl next door look
> 
> *jennifer love hewitt*, trish doan, vicki costa, etc


Off topic but yea!I LOVE jennifer love hewitt too. She is such a hottie but Like Jessica Alba tho so many girls HATE her! why is that?


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## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

Gumaro, I looked at that picture and she has wonderful features, but you're right--she does look like she's 16 and she definitely dresses childish. I bet if she put on a little black dress and heels and sashayed around on one of your dates she'd ignite a spark. Perhaps it's the dowdiness that's not attractive?


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

*Re: re: would like to some input*



SilentProphet said:


> What made you decide you didn't like her tho? The other day you seemed pretty @#%$ happy when you hung out with her  Did you realize the more you hung out and talked the less you had in common? PLus the calling everyday probably didn't help! make you bored of eachother. Maybe it was just the fact that you went on date and were happy about the accomplishment? *Truthfully tho from the pic she doesn't look like your type of girl at all*.


I had the exact same thought.

It just seems like Gumaro isn't feeling any sexual chemistry with her, that's all. No biggie. Oh and trust me when I tell you that the Lexapro isn't the problem. I was on it and when I was out with a guy I wanted, that didn't stop me.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

*Re: re: would like to some input*



SilentProphet said:


> Gumaro said:
> 
> 
> > overall im more attracted to koreans than anyone else but im mainly attracted to women that have long, straight black/brown hair and have that girl next door look
> ...


Jealousy maybe. If I was jealous of either, which I'm not, it would be Jessica Alba first. Only problem with her is she doesn't exude any sex appeal outside of her movies and she comes off as a prude.
Plus when she was complaining about only getting movies that show off her body, that was a turnoff. Boo hoo! Shut the **** up and look hot while you can *****.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

*Re: re: would like to some input*



path0gen said:


> Well, I'm not sure what to say. There's nothing at all unappealing about her, physically, and she seems to understand your social issues. Two characteristics that are very difficult to find in a potential companion. I honestly hope you're not ruling out the possibility of a romantic relationship just because she's not Asian. To each his/her own, I suppose.


her being hispanic has nothing to do with it. i think she is attractive i just dont feel any chemistry there



SilentProphet said:


> Off topic but yea!I LOVE jennifer love hewitt too. She is such a hottie but so many girls HATE her! why is that?


indeed she is the most beautiful woman ever



NightinGale said:


> Gumaro, I looked at that picture and she has wonderful features, but you're right--she does look like she's 16 and she definitely dresses childish. I bet if she put on a little black dress and heels and sashayed around on one of your dates she'd ignite a spark. Perhaps it's the dowdiness that's not attractive?


no. i prefer women in jeans, shirt, sandals with a ponytail. i like how she wears little makeup and doesnt believe that she needs to look good by applying mounds of makeup like most women do



Strange Religion said:


> It just seems like Gumaro isn't feeling any sexual chemistry with her, that's all. No biggie. Oh and trust me when I tell you that the Lexapro isn't the problem. I was on it and when I was out with a guy I wanted, that didn't stop me.


i just feel such a low sex drive after being on lexapro for two months. not that i have a constant sexual partner but it still sucks having a low libido


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## SilentProphet (Jun 1, 2007)

*nevermind! already was asked. 

I was asking if it might be cause you lost your drive from the lexapro, but Strange Religion said she had no problem when taking it. Then again wouldn't it be worse for guys?


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

I maybe missed this as I just skimmed through it, how old is she? She does look young. 

If you're attracted to her and get along with her well in conversations on the phone, in-person, I'm not sure what the hang up is? That Lexapro must be powerful stuff.


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## Introvert2themax (Jun 7, 2007)

I'm pretty curious to see how this turns out too. When I first saw that pic of her I thought.. oh s**t.. is that the girl I'm talking to? Cause I swear she looks just like her. Then you said she's 27 and asked you to go to a bar sat.. and I said.. oh S**t, it is her!! But then you said she's 5'0, so I said, *whew* it's not her. Haha.

And that's funny you're hispanic right? And you dig asian girls. I'm asian, and I dig hispanic girls. Well, I'll take one of my own too. ;P

Anyway, I kinda feel you on this one. It's kinda confusing when you know a girl that you think you should be wanting to like, but you don't. This happened last year with this girl I met off myspace.. she was hispanic with big b00bs lol.. but I just wasn't feelin it. And I was thinking what is wrong with me? I felt like with all my concerns over being single and hating never finding anybody, I should be running to this!! But why am I not?

Maybe you feel like, although you hate to admit it, that you could do better. Maybe you're probably just too much of a nice guy to admit something like that, even to yourself. She is pretty cute tho. Or just no chemisty, simply put. Or maybe you get along a little bit TOO good. Sometimes you need that tension.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

As far as Lexapro goes, yeah your libido is low, *BUT* it doesn't stop you from feeling sexual when you're with the right person.

It all comes down to chemistry folks and sometimes it's not there.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

*Re: re: would like to some input*



SilentProphet said:


> *nevermind! already was asked.
> 
> I was asking if it might be cause you lost your drive from the lexapro, but Strange Religion said she had no problem when taking it. Then again wouldn't it be worse for guys?


i dont know but im getting off this stupid med and i'll refuse all of these types of meds from then on



Prodigal Son said:


> I maybe missed this as I just skimmed through it, how old is she? She does look young.
> 
> If you're attracted to her and get along with her well in conversations on the phone, in-person, I'm not sure what the hang up is? That Lexapro must be powerful stuff.


shes 28



Introvert2themax said:


> And that's funny you're hispanic right? And you dig asian girls. I'm asian, and I dig hispanic girls. Well, I'll take one of my own too. ;P


well not asians, more koreans. and japanese. and vietna- aw who am i kidding. yea i have a thing for asian women. people at work tell me i do and i have no idea how they know



Introvert2themax said:


> she was hispanic with big b00bs lol.. but I just wasn't feelin it.


hmm what exactly werent you feeling?? 
yea im not feeling anything with her and i wish i did because, mentally and physically, she has the qualities i look for.



Strange Religion said:


> As far as Lexapro goes, yeah your libido is low, *BUT* it doesn't stop you from feeling sexual when you're with the right person.
> 
> It all comes down to chemistry folks and sometimes it's not there.


i dont know. this med just sucks


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

I hear ya'. I hated Lexapro anyway, that's why I'm off it.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

*Re: re: would like to some input*

well tonight we are going out for the third time. we've talked everyday since i 'met' her on aol. im just going to hang out with her, have fun and not worry about anything else until it comes up. and hope it doesnt come up



Strange Religion said:


> I hear ya'. I hated Lexapro anyway, that's why I'm off it.


what did you hate about lexapro? im thinking of just taking xanax as needed. the doc prescribed me the lexapro for depression. id rather deal with the depression than the side effects


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Lexapro made me feel unstable and insane, in a nutshell.
I also had a serious bout of depression while I was on it and I was more irritable than ever. I was ready to kill myself or someone else.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

how do you kindly tell someone that she calls you too much?


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## SilentProphet (Jun 1, 2007)

Just stop answering the phone and hide when it rings. OH damn tho you probably have a cell phone! not like you can avoid calls then. Damn tho you been waiting too long on this G! Everyday that goes by and you don't tell her is closer to her settings a wedding day.

Wait i haven't stayed updated, did you tell her you just wat to be friends already?


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

*Re: re: would like to some input*



Gumaro said:


> how do you kindly tell someone that she calls you too much?


I'll gladly take her off yours hands, Gumaro. Please inquire if she is into polygyny first.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

you from UT pathogen??

i havent said anything about being just friends but i dont think ive given any hints that i want to be in a relationship. for all i know, she just wants to be friends too


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

*Re: re: would like to some input*



SilentProphet said:


> Just stop answering the phone and hide when it rings.


Probably not the nicest thing, but it works. haha


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## SilentProphet (Jun 1, 2007)

*Re: re: would like to some input*



Gumaro said:


> you from UT pathogen??
> 
> i havent said anything about being just friends but i dont think ive given any hints that i want to be in a relationship. for all i know, she just wants to be friends too


LOL are you kidding? she knows she has made the catch of her life! have you seen how vascular you are? her other Boyfriends were probably little dweebs! She wont ever let you go, and the longer you wait the harder it's going to be to tell her how you feel. If your'e lucky though by that time maybe somebody will stand up during the wedding ceremony And say why you two shouldn't be joined in holy matrimony!


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

:lol In other words, run Gumaro! Run! Head for ze hills.


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