# Lost motivation in school...move back home or join the military



## Partofme (May 23, 2004)

I was going to UW for about a year. I am 1-2 years away from my Bachelor's. This year it became obvious that I was not focused in school and I felt like I was going just because that's what I thought I was supposed to do. Before in community college it was easier to get away without a real, solid plan. I really don't want to drop out of school. I have narrowed down my major but I still am not very excited about pursuing it. I started floundering winter quarter when I took organic chemistry, biology, and calculus. I ended up dropping calculus because I didn't think I could handle it. I didn't do very well in these classes. I think it was a self fulling prophecy because I went into these classes with a bad attitude. 

Anyway, then spring quarter I signed up for calculus again and bio 200 and dropped both (kept statistics). Then my financial aid went away due to the lack of credits. Obviously I can see that I screwed up. The anxiety and depression (and crummy attitude) certainly didn't help. 

Now my dad is cutting me off financially. 

Now I'm at the point where I have to make a decision. My dad offered me a job at his office. I would have to move back home which doesn't sound very appealing. He is willing to train me again and teach me some accounting skills. It is scary moving back home because the thought is that I am going to get stuck there and still be there 10 years from now. I already know I don't want to be an accountant or anything like it.

My other option is to join the military - either navy or coastguard. That requires 8 weeks of bootcamp and a 4 year commitment. This is the scariest option. However, it will guarantee a dramatically changed life.

I could try to get a job now where I am at but I have very little experience. I think it's very difficult to try to sell yourself when you have such low self confidence and feel like you are lacking in marketable job skills. I've looked on craigslist but I haven't tried applying. 

I could try to go back to school by taking out loans. That doesn't seem very smart. I don't see how I would suddenly gain motivation to tackle these difficult classes. 


I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has been at a point of crossroads in their life. What did you do in your situation? What would you do in my situation? I am also feeling a tremendous amount of pressure from my boyfriend about joining the military...he doesn't want me to move back home because he thinks I'd be moving backwards in life (I worked for my dad when he met me). Is it that pathetic and awful to move back home? I am so confused about what to do that I feel immobile and depressed...like I want to lay in bed all day and not wake up. I need to make a decision. I can see that this is all a result of not making a definite decision about my major and career. Thank you social anxiety and depression for sheltering me from the real world to the extent to where I had no clue as to what I wanted out of life. 

Now I can see what they mean when they say "if you don't make a decision and take control of your life...someone else will."


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## SilentLoner (Jan 30, 2006)

I haven't had such a dramatic crossroads in my own life - but I will admit sometimes I've secretly wished for something similar to happen to me. My life has pretty been following what my parents expected - college followed by a master's degree right after (I'm supposed to start applying for grad school this year).
One very meaningful choice I do regret to this day - I did have the chance in high school to participate in an EMT program. I didn't because I was intimidated. Now I think that might have been exactly what I wanted to do and I doubt I'll have the time to do it in the future.

I always think I would have definitely gone to the military if I didn't have medical issues that would prevent me from being accepted (plus my family disapproval). I'm feeling almost disillusioned with my choices in college at the moment.

I agree that if you move back home to work you'll likely become stuck even if you dislike the work. You'd be suprised how fast years can go by. 
If I were in your shoes I'd apply to the Coast Guard. There is a lot of potential there and you will have the chance to learn discipline and useful life skills - I've known people with anxiety disorders who did well in the military. But there's no guarantee of really anything, its up to you in the end.


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## superjake (Mar 2, 2011)

I think enrolling in a military teen school would provide you a new perspective in life. Although a military teen school can seem like an extreme measure to take. The fact that children who attend a military boarding school are pulled away from their families can be more than some parents can bear. But for many teens, boarding schools offer them the opportunity to be removed from bad influences and old habits and start their lives over again. This clean break can be critical for teens in getting their lives back on track.


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