# fear of going crazy?!? anyone?!?!



## down123 (Jun 22, 2005)

hello everyone!

do any of you out there ever get tensed up at some point during the day because you feel like you are going crazy or feel like you will develop something serious in the near future like schizophrenia??!!?? or bipolar??!! I DO!!! and it literally makes me sick!!! i feel like im going crazy or that i can potentially develop or downspiral into something worse than social anxiety!! it scares me!!. i know that fear of going crazy is a common thought in someone with anxiety but im still afraid what if i have it in my genes or i pass it down to my kids in the future (when i have kids!)

today i was reading the news and recently there have been two reports on two men who have been reported to have ddeveloped schizophrenia in the USA, and as a result have commited the crime of murder!!. one was a young boy (probably around early 20s) who has a college student i think (something like that) who was once a popular, smart, athlete at his highschool and from a decent family, but he downspiraled in his grades and lost friends, started acting bizarre, then one morning somehow murdered a policeman. 

then there is that Mousouui guy who is being charged in britain/england/ wherever (i didnt pay good attention ...sometimes i think im slow)for conspiracy and plots to be the 20th terrorist for the september 11 thing. and now they believe he has paranoid schizophrenia. 

WHAT IM TRYING TO GET AT IS.....during the day im fine, then when i read the news, which i love doing, but when i end up reading an article that talks about ppl who have developed schizophrenia and have commited horrible crimes and they describe why they think this person is schizophrenic and describe all the delusional and paranoid thoughts, it scares me!!! even seeing the word 'schizophrenia' in the news scares me!!! it makes me sick!!! 

then i get scared, what if i might get it in the future!! because sometimes my SA makes me act and think weird... :S im worried!! I HONESTLY FEEL LIKE IM SO CLOSE TO GETTING IT!!!!

can ppl just have a nervous breakdown one day, kinda like just SNAP, when they are under a lot of stress or something tragic happens in their life, can they develop scizophrenia or some other mental disorder?? im afraid one day i might just lose it!

does anone else feel like this or fear this?!?!?!


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## itsmemaggi (Sep 26, 2005)

Everyone, at some point or another, reads things like that, or descriptions of conditions or diseases, and think, "Wow, maybe I have that..."

You're not crazy. Those who are truly crazy, supposedly, don't even think they are. That's what makes them crazy.

But yes, I've had the same thoughts you have.

xoxo
Maggi


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## ghostgurl (Sep 20, 2004)

Yeah, I've had that thought cross my mind before. I don't think I'll become schizophrenic because my family doesn't have that, but sometimes I wonder if I'll just decide to lose my grip on reality and just become this thing that exists because I can't deal with it, and just be living in some fantasy world. I wouldn't be surprised if that happened to me.

I think you'll be ok. Being afraid it might happen makes it worse. I think the best thing you can do is take care of your body. Get enough sleep, eat well. I know stress can really make you go nuts if it gets out of control. How about maybe writing down your thoughts and looking them over and find some reason for them. It may not be as bad as you think.


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## BMSMA1A2B3 (Apr 7, 2006)

itsmemaggi said:


> Those who are truly crazy, supposedly, don't even think they are. That's what makes them crazy.


I *know* I'm not crazy! The voices in my head tell me so!


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## Caedmon (Dec 14, 2003)

Hi, I'm bipolar-II. I've experienced delusions and hallucinations. I dislike the term "crazy".

To answer your question, yes, it's possible to have some symptoms of psychosis as a result of anxiety or depression (please, let's use the right term here, not "crazy" which is pejorative). It is unlikely, and it's usually mild if it does happen. The vast, vast majority of people with psychoses do not hurt other people. You are more likely to harm yourself.

Re: schizophrenia, please read up on some of the experiences at http://www.schizophrenia.com for more information. There are lots of good people there who are knowledgeable.


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

Caedmon said:


> The vast, vast majority of people with psychoses do not hurt other people. You are more likely to harm yourself.


That's comforting.

I know a girl my age who really has schizophrenia, and she functions very well. She has a full time job she loves, she is very friendly and funny. It is very unlikely you will suddenly develop schizophrenia, but even if you do, you are not doomed.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

My tin foil hat keeps me safe :troll


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## Bon (Dec 24, 2005)

Media hype

As others have said, people that have these conditions are more prone to hurt themselves than others. 
Keep in mind, this could be a lawyers defense for someone that broke the law, and they wonder why mental illness is still looked upon as it is. 

I have a friend that is Bi-polar, she holds an excellent job, has a good life, she got the proper treatement, gets a tune up once in a while. There are many people that have this illness, interesting idea, they were much better off after it was dianosed, then they were able to get the proper treatment, to go foreward in life.

And, to the question, yes, I felt like I was losing it once in a while;-) but now I have papers that prove I'm sane and it's the rest of the world that is out of wack;-)


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## dobug (Oct 29, 2005)

I have a huge fear of going crazy. Same with losing control of myself.

This one time I was at this restaurant, the kind that are like on the 60th floor or whatever. I had this huge fear I'd lose control of myself and jump out the window.
The waitress had us move away from the window because I turned pale and lost my appetite. Or she thought I'd do it...


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## apprentice1 (Feb 9, 2005)

Yes, I have also this fear in the back of my mind. I am so scared that I will lose my job and not be able to find another one and then end up homeless and eventually just lose it completely and end up in a mental hospital somewhere looking out the window. I have a history of bizarre unbelievable things that really happened, but it is difficult to believe that I haven't made them up myself if you sit and listen to me. I try not to talk about things except to professionals. Paradoxical things keep happening to me where I look like the guilty one and the guilty one goes skipping away...yeah, it worries me that I obsess about these things. I know it can't be good for me. When I was in my early twenties, I was actually in a mental health clinic and put in the "quiet area" restrained with leather restraints to a bed bolted to the floor and shot up with thorazine for trying to explain about something that really did happen there and they didn't want anything except for me to shut up.


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## inquisitive1973 (Nov 11, 2003)

Fear of going crazy sounds like OCD to me


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## apprentice1 (Feb 9, 2005)

I don't know if you can bend OCD that far, but, yeah, maybe. The fear is something that I just carry around with me like excess luggage...OCD is pretty vague as far as I'm concerned. maybe we should determine just what the criteria are for OCD first and then see.


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## inquisitive1973 (Nov 11, 2003)

After thinking about this for a bit - the fear of losing control can also be anxiety - "the feeling good handbook" talks about this quit a bit. I think OCD would be more extreme such as fearing that you'll lose control and stab your spouse with a knife while you're carving a turkey, or lose control and sexually abuse your child while giving them a bath. OCD is more obsessing about what you might be capable of doing and Anxiety is more about fearing just losing control and "going crazy".


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## apprentice1 (Feb 9, 2005)

You get varying degrees of definitions for OCD depending on where you look...

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is an anxiety disorder characterized by intense, recurrent, unwanted thoughts and rituals that are beyond the person's control.
webcenter.health.webmd.netscape.com/content/article/45/1663_51211

an anxiety disorder in which a person has an unreasonable thought, fear, or worry that he or she tries to manage through a ritualized activity to reduce the anxiety. Frequently occurring disturbing thoughts or images are called obsessions, and the rituals performed to try to prevent or dispel them are called compulsions.
http://www.montefiore.org/healthlibrary ... ontent.asp

is characterized by recurrent, unwanted thoughts and conscious, ritualized, seemingly purposeless acts. ii
http://www.fountainhouse.org/moxie/reso ... ndex.shtml

a condition that is characterized by the presence of obsessions and/or compulsions. Obsessions are recurrent, intrusive thoughts usually irrational worries that often necessitate behaviors to prevent untoward consequences (eg, fears of contamination from dirt requiring the individual to wear gloves at all times). ...
www2.med.umich.edu/psychiatry/umdc/defquery.cfm

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is a disorder characterized by the presence of obsessions and compulsions. Obsessions are repetitive, unwanted thoughts. There is a sense of urgency and tension that rises until the person feels compelled to act on the obsessive thought. An action based on an obsessive thought is called a compulsion. Compulsions range from mild checking behavior (is the stove off? ...
depression.about.com/library/glossary/blglossaryindexo.htm

DHCR's Office of Community Development.
http://www.dhcr.state.ny.us/ocd/pubs/ht ... -gloss.htm

Psychoneurosis characterized by disturbing, unwanted, anxiety-provoking, intruding thoughts or ideas and repetitive impulses to perform acts that may be considered abnormal, undesirable or distasteful to the patient.
http://www.mhacv.org/Glossary/mental_he ... ossary.htm

obsessive-compulsive disorder
http://www.psychmd.info/glossary/o.shtml

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a brain disorder, and more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive drive to perform a particular task or set of tasks, compulsions commonly termed rituals. 
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OCD


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## apprentice1 (Feb 9, 2005)

"Not all OCD sufferers engage in compulsive behavior. Recent years have seen increased diagnoses of Pure Obsessional OCD, or "Pure O." This form of OCD is manifested entirely within the mind, and involves obsessive ruminations triggered by certain thoughts. These mental "snags" can be debilitating, often tying up a sufferer for hours at a time. As of 2004, headway continues to be made by specialists. It is believed by many that Pure O OCD is in fact more prevalent than other types of OCD, although it is likely the most underreported as it is not visibly apparent, and sufferers tend to suffer in silence. In this disorder, the sufferer tries to "disprove" the anxious thoughts through logic and reasoning, yet in doing so becomes further entrapped by the obsessions. "Pure O" OCD is thought to be the most difficult form of OCD to treat."

Down 123 might be borderline pure OCD. Things like reports in the news about schizophrenia happening don't happen on a daily basis, though, so I would consider that as a sign against pure OCD if it doesn't happen on a near daily basis. It depends on how severe and problematic the situation is.
I would also wonder if 'just playing with an idea' like Down 123 may also be doing, doesn't agitate things. Remember, if you play with something long enough, it WILL play back with you...


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## Jess (Oct 23, 2004)

*I second that*

I have been scared of going crazy like one day all the anxiety I go through might just make me into a total cook....but I dont think things like schizophrenia can be tied to anxiety and depression...can they? I was pretty sure it was completely seperate just like a physical disease.


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## apprentice1 (Feb 9, 2005)

here we go again with the tedious fine-line differences and types of schizophrenia...have to settle that first. Some types are dangerous and require immediate hospitalization, others are very unnoticeable.


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## Jess (Oct 23, 2004)

*?*

can you elaborate on that apprentice? i just dont know anything about it so i would like to know more.


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## M.L. Joynes (Aug 14, 2005)

I have just recently experienced these kind of feelings. It started with the thoughts, "I'm losing control." I was driving at the time and had been going through many sleep deprived nights. I had also been going through some rather stressful and unusual circumstances. After the thoughts ran through my mind it made my heart race frantically. My mind started racing also like a panic attack. I thought I wouldn't be able to drive much further. But, I manage to get to my mom's house which was close by. I felt those thoughts coming back again strongly. I felt like I might do something outside of my control, but I didn't know what. It was so scary!!! I had these feelings come back another time in the middle of the night. I felt like I had to go outside and get fresh air.

I contribute it to the stress and anxiety that has happened as a result of this unusual situation called gangstalking. You definitely do not want this to happen to you. After researching what this was on the internet and finding so many similarities between others' circumstances and my own, I knew it was truely what was going on with me. Yet so many people don't know about this, so they don't believe it or understand me. It appears to make me look and sound paranoid. So, I don't even talk about it to any one anymore. Just give to God and ignore any signs of it when I do see it occuring. The one person that I did tell and knew about this was a nurse at my doctor's office. She said she once dated a guy who was in the Mafia and this was an activity that gangs participate in. She believed me. She helped me and gave me alot of encouragement. She told me just to act as if they don't bother me when they are staring me. So, I do that. It really does help. 
Once in a store, I was walking toward this burly looking man and I saw him looking at me. I looked away quickly and as I was passing by him I looked back at him quickly. He had this expression that made me laugh inside. He twitched his lips like someone does when their plans don't succeed. So, ha! It does work to let them see that they are not getting to me.


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## Dampy (Apr 28, 2006)

Ya, I've felt this before. A few weeks ago I thought I had symptoms of Depersonalization and it got so bad that I could barely go through the day. It lasted for a few days until I got an Anxiety attack and I finally went to a doctor. It was the first time I've talked to someone about my Anxiety, so I guess it was a good thing :b


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