# How do you psychologically handle Academic Dismissal?



## creativedissent (Oct 25, 2008)

I was dismissed from the University of Michigan Ann Arbor. 
I really disliked the town of Ann Arbor. Maybe it was because I had never been on my own before. 

But hear me out. (I may sound like a freak) 

And seeing Darren Criss act on GLEE and others like that just makes me jealous to watch. 

Maybe there isn't a psychological answer. You just suck it up and go home happy. 

I'm supposed to go home happy. 

It's like, I was a sophomore. And I'm sooooo sour that this year (2010-11) was supposed to be my junior year. My grades didn't hold up to par and for some reason the school dean was "interested" in my academic epic fails. 

Well, I guess all I can say is: "It's over now, so suck it up deans!". (basically an epic reminder that I suck). Hey, at least I didn't go to a frat party or get drunk illegally. And at least I didn't bust my image. Gosh. 

Gosh Gosh. What the hell it takes to be a good student these days with the additional pressure of your families?

One word: Why? 

I can't handle dismissal. Gosh. Why? Because I feel that this would get me sent to academic jail with no prospect of forgiveness from my parents or myself. 

I can't forgive myself. And what do I say to all my friends who got into Ivies or didn't get dismissed? This is by far my worst kept secret. 

I feel I AM smart. In academic terms I guess I had a little slip-up. Additionally so many angry people up my ***. But I'm bitter. 

And my health has suffered for it. Since coming home I haven't gotten a job, nor have a talked to any friends. Nor do I go out much. 

I have spent the past year just lazing around and painting writing and such. Even competed for a talent pageant. 

But all my friends do is laugh. 

And this furthers my mental anxiety. 

What's the use of friggin brains if you make the biggest mistakes? 

aaaand I have frequent bowl problems. Just had an emergency. 

Gosh. I feel like a bad person because I got dismissed. 

Words cannot describe my pain and anguish. 

Oh well, on a more positive note, I'm getting a Tibetan Mastiff. Exciting?

But I guess I fear academic embarrassment. 

Anyone ELSE got dismissed/put on probation and CANNOT handle it? May or may not reply.


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## cavemanslaststand (Jan 6, 2011)

What's a Tibetan Mastiff? Nevermind looked it up the web.

Here's a toast to your long climb back after a break. It's not going to be easy, but difficult situations make life memorable if it doesn't take us out first.

College in the midwest is just plain uninspiring. When visiting schools in the sunny states after the fact, was absolutely green with envy and couldn't believe the highlight of my college existence was consistently walking miles through subzero temperature with ice and snow to reach class or change classes.

Consider eventually starting over in better scenery like California, Florida, and Texas. You can always transfer to those after rebuilding transfer credits at a cheaper community college to get your bearings. You can even leave out the fact that you were ever at U of M when applying to other major schools.

Other than practical regional finance concerns, forget UM, MSU, OSU, IU, UW, and the other U of M. Come back with a more enjoyable, inspiring, yet focused expectation of college...

Hope you can derive inspiration too from legitimate starting over stories (a doctor who initially flunked school but eventually came back with a strong focus; resilient immigrants who lost everything if not loved ones in a previous life and started over with a resolve; military veterans who initial flunked out of school and came back mercenary to get it done; others)

2nd chances seem to be harder (and prohibitive financially), and the perception that the US is no longer advertises itself as a place for second opportunities. But you're the only individual that matters so who cares about stupid statistical trends.

Sorry for excessive ramble. Let me know if you decide to slowly climb back and if you decide to hit subjects like math, science, and programming.


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## letitrock (Jan 10, 2009)

the only way i think you could handle it, and the only way I've thought I could handle whenever I thought it would happen to me is to just keep going, don't let it stop you or bring you down, I think about all the people who didn't graduate form high school or who didn't go to college but who are still going and they may not be the most well off people in the world but they just keep going, they keep working retail, they're still living life, or in some cases, thye have made a success of themselves even without a full education

keep working, keep trying to get an education, can't you try a stint at a community college to at least earn some college credit, get back on your feet, take care of yourself, get your grades up, work on improving your academic habits?

or just take a break, earn some money, work on taking care of yourself, work on yourself


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## fredbloggs02 (Dec 14, 2009)

There is no such thing to me. When tutors endeavour their patronizing rituals none of it sinks in and they know it. I only care because I need qualifications, yet the qualifications don't spell me, they spell the possibility of speaking to more than myself for amusement although my receptive self will find solice within my talkative self often and he is the only one who ever sinks in to dismiss me. Some feel they've angered or upset me silently, to other marginally more sophisticated tutors this frustrates them and they argue with me about submission and individuality being part of a whole, hard to come to terms with some of my arguements they let me speak or fall silent and think to themselves how unteachable I am quite possibly In the end the syllabus prevails and we end up going through that parrot fashion without any dialogue. They prefer it that way in one on one tutorials when you regard your pupil with utter disdain. In the subjects where this doesn't happen I get on well with tutors, they enjoy when I have my own ideas and discuss things with me. I've had more interesting discussions with my psychology tutor than in any philosophy tutorial thus far, simply because disgustingly enough philosophy is like history these days and that was clear when I first prompted some rather pompous derision in my writings from my first teacher. I get through philosophy tutors quickly... I need to become jelly to survive, I need to let go of everything I think I know and any originality for the sake of a course that masquerades as the future of original ideas. The truth, people just arenn't original enough today, people need to be told of their great success and originality having completed an originality course. This leaves me bitter and frustrated as I know I have never been one like them. People are too concerned with how right they are, they care so little for how another suffers for their sense of righteousness.


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

I got academic dismissal due to my learning disabilities and lack of effective tutoring. It sucks. This was back in 2004 and I haven't been back to college since.


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## creativedissent (Oct 25, 2008)

Hey ya'all, thanks for the replies. 

It seems no matter how hard I try and try this always seems to appear in my mirror. I would really like a magic mirror at this point!

So so far I've been out of college two so years. Not bad given the letter the dean sent to me, which was the fact that I must apply to another school. In one of your replies you mentioned that I'm getting a dog. lol. 

So, I emailed the dean with my dismissal appeal at hand to attach to the email so they would read it. The only response I got was the fact that my dismissal was permanent and I have no option for appeal. 

My first reaction was "does this even make sense?" Permanent?! Really? 

If you listen to the New York stock exchange, they swap around a lot of business proposals. I'm not a part of that. I won't lie. But to have this high of an expectation - that I would like fail - is a bit erroneous to me. 

So over the course of one year I had failed a biology class, a math class, and two art classes. Yeah. At superficial glance it didn't seem it needed all that much to be dismissed. What does the term dismissed even mean? 

My teachers seemed to be harbingers of this miserable moment. They refused to talk to me about academics or study before I received that letter. I heard one nursing student even sued the school after academic dismissal from the same university. does this mean I could sue too?


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## shammie (Oct 31, 2012)

The only thing I can really think of is:

University qualifications seem to be cyclical. We're going through a period when it seems like McD's won't take you on without University qualifications. (I joke, but in the UK I believe McD's have sponsored a qualification they want you to have)

So we'll soon go through a phase of "Actually, let's go back to only a few people having degrees, so it gives us something to differentiate candidates". 

I'm not sure how it works in the US - over here, you'd be free to apply elsewhere. Is there a 'permanent record' of sorts that follows you?


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## creativedissent (Oct 25, 2008)

Quoting the above, yeah definitely! Mcdonalds won't hire you if you don't have an education degree. Do you know what my parents said? They said that this would add up to a permanent record of ALL the things I've been doing or something like that. If I'm 10,000 USD in debt, people won't lend me money. If this happens, it lands on my record. If that happens, it'll land on my record. I'm am so scared of my education mishaps becoming an obstacle to me ever being hired. The reflex thing I could think of would be to correct my failure, or assess my education as not all, 100% failure. If I seek to get hired at Disneyworld, for example, what steps would it take? It seems most companies want degrees. So that's a bit of an obstacle. I just imagine this roller coaster, you know. it's like a game.


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## enfield (Sep 4, 2010)

aw i'm sorry you got dismissed . and it's cool you came back and updated us.

I was accepted to a school, but then i failed a class in the spring term of senior year and my acceptance was rescinded. i appealed, but it was denied (i was really qualified in some dimensions so i thought i had a chance). so I ended up staying home for a year. and finally going to college this year (at an average school).


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## Awkto Awktavious (May 11, 2011)

I was dismissed from university and I felt exactly how you feel
-Guilty
-Ashamed
-Significant increase in SA, etc
I also didn't drink/party; all I did was study.

I stopped talking to all my friends because of how embarassed I was to be thought of a "failure/loser"
The damage definitely took its toll on me.

That was about 5 years ago, and since then I worked part time retail, graduated from community college, and now working full time.

And yet I still think about it constantly, still wishing I graduated from that university the year I was supposed to.


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## Lizza (Nov 14, 2012)

I was dismissed two years ago from a good university in UK, and I was on a good course. I was an international student as well(from Uganda). I had started off just fine, even got good grades. Then all this 'group presentation' stuff began and I couldnt do it because I imagined everyone else was cleverer than me. I also wasn't too serious and responsible about university, so I wont blame it all on SA. Feelings I dealt with when I got the dismissal letter in my 2nd year:

1. Fear and anxiety (what will I tell my parents who've been paying so much money)
2. Shame (what will my parents and friend and classmates think?)
3. Suicidal (maybe instead of hanging around to see all their reactions, I can just off myself)
4. Weight loss (why should I eat when I know I'm a failure?)
5. Self-doubt (maybe I'm not as clever as I thought I was)
6. Confusion (what the hell am I going to do with my life when I go back to Uganda without a degree?!)

Right now (two years later):
I'm back in Uganda, still alive, my parents did not kill me, people did not laugh at me, not many people know or care about my failure, and I'm studying Public Relations and Media which I enjoy. I am also writing a lot.


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## gorbulas (Feb 13, 2004)

I got put on academic probation before eventually having to withdraw from school the next quarter (to save from getting kicked out). it has been the lowest point of my life and I felt like I lost 2-3 years of my life because of that. part of it had to do with bad study habits (i coasted through high school) and i will let you guess what the other part is (its not that hard to figure it out). the tibetan mastiff will cheer you up I am sure if you ever feel down


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