# Therapy not working. Getting desperate



## Tyrande (Jun 12, 2011)

I was in regular therapy 3 and a half years a year ago, and in therapy in various stages in my life (starting as a young child).

After the 3 years I switched to another councillor. I've been seeing her a few months, but I've seen her about 3 times.

The first councilor never really addressed my anxiety. We mostly sat and talked about random things.

Im seeing the same thing with the new councillor. I switched to her because I asked the group she is working with I needed someone who knew about anxiety.

Ive read about cognitive therapy, and the only specialists are 100 miles from me.

I don't know what to do. I am getting so desperate. I can't continue to live like this. I get so depressed. I don't want to get out of bed anymore because I see no point. Or I stay up for days because my mind wont quiet down. Like now Ive been up 24 hours.

Ive been housebound for 6 years already, and its getting steadily worse. Ive tried many different medications and none of them have put a dent into my anxiety.

Melatonin is starting not to work for me anymore. Im thinking about taking up drinking just to quiet my mind. I cant do this anymore.

Ive lost who I was completely. Ive lost large chunks of my memory. It seems like all I can remember is what Im living through now. I used to be an artist. All of that has dried up. I cant access that artistic well I used to have. I have no urge, or gumption to do anything.

Im sorry if any of this seems like jibberish. Im extremely tired.


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## MrWibblyWobbly (Mar 2, 2012)

Really sorry you're going through this, Tyrande. 

IME, 90% of CBT, even if you're working with a counselor is done on your own anyway. A counselor/therapist will merely teach you the basic ideas behind it, and then give you the exercises to do. It's your job to then do the exercises regularly at home on your own time regularly. That's the nice thing about CBT. It teaches you to be more self-reliant, rather than relying on a counselor. This sort of therapy has its limitations, especially if you're dealing with deeper traumas, but it can be extremely effective in getting the ball rolling. If you don't have a CBT counselor near you, there are many great books that basically give you what you would get from a counselor. One of the following would be a good choice:

1.) _Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy_ by David Burns -- this is the book that popularized CBT for the public, and it's been in print for several decades. It's very good. The three-column technique is something that never fails to help me get a new perspective on my unhelpful thoughts.

2.) _Overcoming Depression_ by Paul Gilbert -- this is a very good book. It's not as streamlined as Burns', but I like Gilbert's focus on compassion.

3.) _The Mindful Way through Depression_ by Mark Williams, Zindel Segal, Jon Kabat Zinn, and John Teasdale -- this book helped me immensely about four years ago. It teaches you how to use meditation as a way to bring you out of depression. It's a very powerful tool, especially when combined with more traditional CBT like that presented in Burn's book.

4.) _The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling and Start Living_ by Russ Harris -- this book is probably more appropriate if you're higher-functioning and aren't completely and utterly depressed. It's based on ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) which is a newer evolution of CBT. It presents a new take on how to deal with emotional pain. I read it after having been exposed to mindfulness and CBT, so a lot of it was stuff I already knew, but I've heard of people whose lives were turned around by exposure to these ideas through this book.

I would start with Burns' book. Then, if you feel you need more help, one of the others. Go to Google Books and maybe read the Introduction to each. See which one speak to you most.

As for melatonin, be careful with it. Dr. Oz recently had a very good segment on it: http://www.doctoroz.com/episode/why-melatonin-may-be-dangerous-your-sleep

I know it's tough not to be able to sleep, and feeling desperate, but supplements need to be used in very specific dosages and with very specific timings in order to be more helpful than harmful. You might benefit from watching ASMR videos on Youtube (just search "ASMR" there). They're videos intended to relax the viewer. I've found them really helpful for insomnia.

Best wishes!


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