# Second Life Support Group



## d3lusionkt (Jan 21, 2007)

EDIT 6/13/2014
I've started a group but haven't planned any meetings. We have about 7 people so far who have joined. We have a google drive shared folder with meeting info. If anyone is interested in joining and being notified when we start a meeting, and wants access to the meeting group, send me a pm with your email. 

Also if anyone wants to lead group sessions send me a pm. I think with a group leader who can do the talking, this group can get going. I'd write a script for you that you can use so you don't have to wonder about what to say, or we can work together on it. I think leading the group would be a good experience for anyone. If I get the time and get back into this I will start some meetings myself but for now I just haven't had the drive to do it. 
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Does anyone want to start a Second Life support group?

I haven't played it too much, but I've explored and seen how people can use a microphone to chat with each other. 

I think it would be a cool and safe way to practice in a group session and have a sort of virtual meetup. I know I have a difficult time talking to strangers, even via a microphone on social media, so if others have the same issues and want to work together maybe we can do it. 

We could treat it like a traditional anxiety meetup that might happen in person, go around the group and be prompted to answer easy questions, and maybe get a discussion going. 

I think we would need a host though to guide the meetup i.e. start the talking, as I wouldn't be good at that, but I could help with planning a structure. I guess I could try to host it if noone else wants to. 

We could also have it optional to use text only if you're not ready to talk yet, and we could work up to talking later for some people. It would be a safe environment, where we don't judge each other, just meet with other people who have the same issues. I also don't think it should be a "let's just chat" thing, and it should have a guided structure, because it is difficult for a lot of us to just socialize, and I feel that having a structured topic and prompts would make it easier.

Is anyone interested/have thoughts?


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## blueman1027 (Aug 9, 2013)

It's been a while since I've been on second life. I always went on there alone and just explored the vast world of creations people made while customizing my wolf character. I never really found a group that I fit in with, so it got boring after a while.

If anyone else wants to do this, I wouldn't mind re-installing Second Life and joining in. Where would you host this though? Do you have any land bought?...or are you just going to try and find a secluded place somewhere?


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## Umbrella (Aug 15, 2013)

This sounds like a good idea... But I would be hesitant to try it. 

I've never heard of second life before is this an online thing that already exists? Is it a support group thing or just a chatting thing like an anonymous skype?


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## housebunny (Oct 22, 2010)

maybe...


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## joked35 (Oct 13, 2013)

I like this idea. It's been a few years since I played, but it was interesting to explore. I was also a trouble maker back then.


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## housebunny (Oct 22, 2010)

Kanfusuuruq said:


> I'm a former addict who's sworn it off but I may consider it a bit.


That's my concern.


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## Kiba (Apr 26, 2013)

That'd be kind of cool. I haven't been on Second Life since like high school but i'd be open to doing something like this.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

I never truly used Second Life, but maybe...


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## d3lusionkt (Jan 21, 2007)

blueman1027 said:


> It's been a while since I've been on second life. I always went on there alone and just explored the vast world of creations people made while customizing my wolf character. I never really found a group that I fit in with, so it got boring after a while.
> 
> If anyone else wants to do this, I wouldn't mind re-installing Second Life and joining in. Where would you host this though? Do you have any land bought?...or are you just going to try and find a secluded place somewhere?


I figured if noone else had any land, we could just go to a secluded place. It would be nice if someone who wanted to join in had land, even if they just hosted it. Then we could kick anyone out who made trouble right? But I doubt people would make trouble anyway.

There's an existing Social Anxiety group in SL we could join to be able to chat with each other before we got there and share the link to travel to the meetup spot, or however it works.


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## d3lusionkt (Jan 21, 2007)

Umbrella said:


> This sounds like a good idea... But I would be hesitant to try it.
> 
> I've never heard of second life before is this an online thing that already exists? Is it a support group thing or just a chatting thing like an anonymous skype?


Yeah it's been around for a while. From what I've gathered it's pretty much a social chat thing where you have avatars that you move around with in a virtual world. Some people are focused on designing stuff like clothing or avatars/buildings etc. You can chat with text or mic if you have one setup.

The interface is a bit clunky - it took me some getting used to.


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## Inscrutable Banana (Apr 1, 2008)

I explored Second Life a bit several years ago just out of boredom and curiosity and haven't been back to it since then. I suppose I could try derping around in there again if an SA group were to form.


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## d3lusionkt (Jan 21, 2007)

Question- Is there any benefit to having a meetup over SL as opposed to something voice-only like Skype? So far as being helpful to overcome SA.


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## Inscrutable Banana (Apr 1, 2008)

d3lusionkt said:


> Question- Is there any benefit to having a meetup over SL as opposed to something voice-only like Skype? So far as being helpful to overcome SA.


None that I can think of, really. I suppose if the people involved were creative types and willing to spend a little money there could be a collaborative group effort to build some sort of digital hangout, but that's a tad superfluous and how helpful such an activity could be is debatable.


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## Koichi (Aug 31, 2013)

d3lusionkt said:


> Question- Is there any benefit to having a meetup over SL as opposed to something voice-only like Skype? So far as being helpful to overcome SA.


I guess SL can offer a more relaxed environment to chat in, especially if there are birdies singing in the background. I liked listening to the birdies. And you are socially interacting in some way even if you don't feel up to chatting. Plus, you can blame all the awkward silences on lag. And I don't think you can teleport to safety on Skype yet.


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## IAMX (Mar 10, 2014)

i play SL sometimes, and there are lots of support groups there, they have suicidal support groups, agoraphobia ones etc.. i think it is a great idea as i spent hours searching for a social anxiety support group on SL


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

Clarity's polar bear said:


> I'm a former addict who's sworn it off but I may consider it a bit.


Same here. At one point in my life I was consumed by it.


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## pavane ivy (Feb 9, 2014)

I've never played it... I'm willing to give it a shot though if this group does form.


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## d3lusionkt (Jan 21, 2007)

I am glad to see that people are showing interest and thanks for the input. Sorry I have been busy for school so may necro this thread. The idea of starting this makes me anxious but I really want to because I have been wanting to attend something like this for a while too. 

What do you guys think about this format:

E.g. we set a meeting time (10 PM EST Saturdays?) and we log into second life and we all port to some remote area. We can get the location link by sending it to the second life anxiety group chat (There's an existing group that I thought would be good that we can just join)

We get on our mics, and we have the group leader start the meeting by saying an introduction and they go around and ask everyone to introduce themselves. The leader prompts each person to answer. They're allowed to say or type "pass" or type their answer instead of speaking if they want.

Then we have some sort of topic going on. E.g. we ask a volunteer to explain a recent time they had an anxious situation, and then we prompt others to give advice on how to deal. Then we can ask another volunteer until noone else wants to volunteer. Or we could ask something such as "how has family affected your anxiety" etc. 

I feel that these meetings would have two benefits: 1 is to feel some validation to actually speak to others who have anxiety, while at the same time gaining experience talking and courage from the support from people who go through the same thing. 2. Learn some helpful techniques or gain insight on things that could help us.

E.g. We go over david burns' common cognitive distortions, E.g. fortune telling- where you think you can read others minds by assuming they think something bad about you. Then throughout we could make a point to have others point out cognitive distortions if they're present in people's sharing of their experiences. 

Another idea is to have a guided mindfulness meditation session. But I don't know enough about it. We could go over other techniques but I don't really know enough. We could also have it open so people can volunteer to be a group leader, especially if someone knows a good anxiety technique they can teach to the group. 

Another idea would be to have some mock conversations to help out with small talk. (Yuck!) but it's another activity option. I'm not sure how the format of that would go but I think most of us would like practice with this and tips.

All meeting plans will be posted ahead of time so people can know what to expect. We could go so far as to have all of the questions and prompts for the group leader in a script and posted verbatim. Is this too much?

Group rules would be: 1. No criticizing of others or making fun of people- with anxiety we can be overly sensitive and we want to keep this a safe environment. 2. Is cursing allowed / talk of sexual stuff / suicide / violence? Other rules? 

If someone starts trolling the group we can send a private message to all of the other people there to port out to another location. 

Any other ideas on meeting format you would like to see, or thoughts on these suggestions? It would be nice to have an ongoing input from members on what they would like to see for future meetups.

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Also any ideas on a good online medium to keep the calendar and meeting plans? I checked meetup.com as they do have a virtual meetup section, but it costs money to start a group so that was out.

And do you think we should encourage people to use avatars like what they look like in real life? Or just leave it open?

Sorry for the long post.


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## taawni138 (Jan 6, 2014)

i would be down i go on sl quite a bit !


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## joked35 (Oct 13, 2013)

Yea I registered again and I don't remember it being this boring. I'm still trying to find a crew of people to hangout with. All I do is just wander aimlessly.


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## Koichi (Aug 31, 2013)

Clarity's polar bear said:


> I've had a go with making mesh avs with the new MakeHuman release, they look good in Open Sim and such. Going to play with texturing the faces better. It might give me incentive to go back to it a bit.


Is this something you do outside of SL? Never heard of any of that stuff. What's Open Sim?


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## CEB32 (Mar 6, 2014)

Know all about it but never bothered with it as i knew if i got into something like that then it would become a crutch and a bad one at that.

When i get around to fixing my main PC i could run a server for something like minecraft and a voice program like teamspeak. If what you are interested in is a place to chat,meet up and be creative in a secure environment.

Can you host shards for second life, or is it all on the games end?


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## Moselle (Aug 2, 2011)

d3lusionkt said:


> Also any ideas on a good online medium to keep the calendar and meeting plans? I checked meetup.com as they do have a virtual meetup section, but it costs money to start a group so that was out.
> 
> And do you think we should encourage people to use avatars like what they look like in real life? Or just leave it open?


It might not be a bad idea to just make a gmail account and give the password out to people who are planning to attend. My boyfriend's workplace does this with the schedule so that people can check it from home or on their phone.

I think people should be able to make their avatars look however they want, but there should also be rules so that they aren't TOO distracting. Flashy particle effects and/or sounds (like walkers) should be minimal if allowed at all. Gestures would be fine as long as they aren't so long or noisy that we can't hear/focus on someone who might be talking.

I really, REALLY like this idea and think it could be really good for those who give it a chance. I was pretty into Second Life for a while and its actually where I met my current best friend. We found out that we're actually only a few months apart in age and I've been able to go to her with anything. We've been friends for maybe five years now and eventually met in person. She stayed with me for two weeks when she was going through a rough time mentally. You *can* form real relationships with the help of Second Life. We both had social anxiety issues when we met (still do) and we've been helping each other through things for years.


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## d3lusionkt (Jan 21, 2007)

Moselle said:


> It might not be a bad idea to just make a gmail account and give the password out to people who are planning to attend. My boyfriend's workplace does this with the schedule so that people can check it from home or on their phone.
> 
> I think people should be able to make their avatars look however they want, but there should also be rules so that they aren't TOO distracting. Flashy particle effects and/or sounds (like walkers) should be minimal if allowed at all. Gestures would be fine as long as they aren't so long or noisy that we can't hear/focus on someone who might be talking.
> 
> I really, REALLY like this idea and think it could be really good for those who give it a chance. I was pretty into Second Life for a while and its actually where I met my current best friend. We found out that we're actually only a few months apart in age and I've been able to go to her with anything. We've been friends for maybe five years now and eventually met in person. She stayed with me for two weeks when she was going through a rough time mentally. You *can* form real relationships with the help of Second Life. We both had social anxiety issues when we met (still do) and we've been helping each other through things for years.


That's a nice story about your friendship that started in SL. I personally haven't met anyone there as it seems like people keep to themselves pretty much and it's difficult to find a reason to interact (I'm curious of how you guys met).

Also thanks for the idea. I think I'll go off of that and use a google drive to share meeting info.

Anyone who wants to join, visit http://slsam.no-ip.org/slsam/ for information.

I'll edit the first post also to include the website.


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## Moselle (Aug 2, 2011)

d3lusionkt said:


> That's a nice story about your friendship that started in SL. I personally haven't met anyone there as it seems like people keep to themselves pretty much and it's difficult to find a reason to interact (I'm curious of how you guys met).
> 
> Also thanks for the idea. I think I'll go off of that and use a google drive to share meeting info.
> 
> Anyone who wants to join, visit http://slsam.no-ip.org/slsam/ for information.


We actually met by accident. I was one of those people you mentioned who kept to themself. I was IMing someone I knew in real life and left my avatar standing around somewhere. She walked up and said hello to me, then just kind of kept talking. We ended up bonding when I took her to meet my irl boyfriend and his best friend because they were doing weapons testing and kept killing us. Kind of a weird story, lol. We found out we had a lot in common and ended up hanging out in game daily, even just to chat while doing homework and things like that. After we'd been friends for a couple years, she was going through some rough spots at home and needed an outlet. I suggested she come visit for real. We worked out the details and she stayed with me for two weeks. It was actually pretty awesome and we've been wanting to do it again for a while now. 

I'm interested in the meetups/group stuff in game, but the link wasn't working for me. It just kept saying it couldn't find the page. :/


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## massas (Jun 9, 2015)

d3lusionkt said:


> EDIT 6/13/2014
> I've started a group but haven't planned any meetings. We have about 7 people so far who have joined. We have a google drive shared folder with meeting info. If anyone is interested in joining and being notified when we start a meeting, and wants access to the meeting group, send me a pm with your email.
> 
> Also if anyone wants to lead group sessions send me a pm. I think with a group leader who can do the talking, this group can get going. I'd write a script for you that you can use so you don't have to wonder about what to say, or we can work together on it. I think leading the group would be a good experience for anyone. If I get the time and get back into this I will start some meetings myself but for now I just haven't had the drive to do it.
> ...


I know this is an old post. Hi I'm new to the fellow ship. I don't know if your still doing this group, but if you are I would like you to count me in. pm me the details thx


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Did any of you meet Ralph Pootawn?


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## d3lusionkt (Jan 21, 2007)

massas said:


> I know this is an old post. Hi I'm new to the fellow ship. I don't know if your still doing this group, but if you are I would like you to count me in. pm me the details thx


Unfortunately the group never got going. But I'd consider starting it again. If anyone wants to join pm me your gmail address (It will involve being added to a google drive folder). It may be months or years until any meeting is planned though. Unless someone else is interested in helping lead it, or taking over, or talking with me about planning I feel I will probably not be motivated for a while.


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