# That's it, SA is done. It needs to go.



## Faded Lines (Sep 22, 2006)

This is taking a lot for me to say this. I have said it in the past, but now I really have to get rid of SA. If I feel fear in a situation, I am going through with it. I'll tell you how I came to this...at my job (I stated this in another thread but my adrenaline is pumping now)..anyway, at my job, I found out my friend who I work with has summer school now, so I can only work with him on Saturdays or Sundays. I am going to man it out and work with a Spanish worker. If they don't like it, screw them. I am doing it. I fear that they hate working with me because I am American and that they feel I am inexperienced, and that I am holding them back. I'm going to do it guys...I need to. I have done it in the past and the guy was really mean to me, which is also why I am scared...but I am going to do it anyway. I am going to start taking chances with girls, hiding and facing my fears in conversations, and picking up the phone more often. 

Wish me luck, I love you all.

*Edit- Not ready for parties yet though, heh.


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## oceanchief (Jan 6, 2007)

Go get em! Good luck bro! Keep us updated....


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## Faded Lines (Sep 22, 2006)

Will do. I am so nervous but at the same time excited for the huge changes I am about to make.


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## SADFighter (May 4, 2007)

Good stuff man. I think there are only a few things in this world stronger than a truly determined human being. And I don't think SA is one of them.

Good luck and keep at, even when the times are tough.


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## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

I wish you luck man! I hope everything works out for you! :boogie :hug


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## mindfulgirl (May 7, 2007)

Good for you! :boogie


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Keep coming back and post the successes and the not-so-successes - you can learn a huge amount from the stuff that goes wrong!

Big thing to take on, make sure you fully understand WHAT you are going to do to handle the situations, and make sure that they arent in some way maintaining anxiety. Facing fears is awesome - as long as you don't wildly overcompensate with some other form of extreme behaviour. If you do a 'me' and try to be super witty, funny, confident and amazing, and drive yourself deliberately into situations that terrify you, you are setting yourself up for a fall. Try to be as natural as you can, and pay more attention to THEM, than to how you are feeling. Take things one step at a time, rather than a full frontal assault - your gains will be stronger and more permanent.

This will give you the strongest base with which to challenge your anxiety.

In addition, as what you are doing could be thought of as 'exposure therapy' (facing fears) you might find the book in my signature line helpful in giving you lots of ideas on how to best tackle your fears.

Good job, and good luck! I'm rooting for you :banana 

Ross


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## Faded Lines (Sep 22, 2006)

Thanks a lot man. Yeah I decided that jumping into it too hard would be a bad idea. I hung out with 3 girls and I was the only guy the other night. I was real uncomfortable but happy I was doing it and I had a good time anyway.


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## track (Jun 23, 2007)

Good job dude. Face yr fears ...


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## GaSS PaNiCC (Mar 27, 2007)

This is the exact attitude that is required man, you'll get through it. Do not let those negative thoughts control you or influence you, YOU CAN DO IT PRA PRA!


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## Faded Lines (Sep 22, 2006)

K, here's my update.

Wow. What a week. First off, I went on vacation with 5 of my friends this past week and had a great time. I didn't have the courage to go up to girls and start talking (unfortunately) but today I conquered one of my biggest factors of SA....I worked with not one, but two Spanish guys at work today. My friend was sick so I had to. I felt awkward since I thought that they didn't want to work with me (which is probably true). I also thought that every single conversation they had they were talking about how bad I was or something, but then I thought "They must be pretty lame to talk about me for 9 hours straight". I got over it quickly and enjoyed my day. I am prepared to do it again, which I am very proud of.

Oh, and I also had about a 5 minute conversation with one of the workers who I thought didn't like me, but I feel a lot better towards him now.


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## shiznit (Nov 21, 2004)

How do you deem yourself as a qualified SA person in the first place?

You are a totally normal kid and apparently, nobody is reminding you of that except me. You are growing up just like every other teenager. You just had a great vacation experience. You are 100% wrong if you think you have SA. You are kicking *** in life dude.

Social Anxiety (aka SA) is for people who do not have the ability to do the things you have already accomplished. You are going through puberty; you are not going through SA. Stop listening to the peeps who do not know what they are talking about. If you continue to think that you are inferior to others, you will pay big in the future. I am telling you right now that the only reason you will pay big time is that you think *you have SA when you do not. *

I know my stuff.


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## shiznit (Nov 21, 2004)

I am on your side big time.

Last thing you need to be doing is convincing yourself subconsciously that you have SA. You have the easy way out right now as a kid by blowing this stupid concept of SA reality to smoke while you are 16.

I am 100% serious. You are kicking *** as you speak. You will be asking the ladies out big time in the next few years at the rate you are going. Last thing you need to worry about is SA. SA is a irrational perception of feeling sorry for yourself. The sorry feeling only multiplies as time goes on for the masses. I was in your shoes 15 years ago.

*It is not reality unless you allow it to control your life.*

You really want to feel sorry for yourself or do you want to grow up and be in control of yourself at all times? You have the freedom right now to make that quick decision right now.

The peeps you are listening to are not well informed. They like to feel sorry for themselves and have no problem telling you to do the same thing on a consistent basis. If you continue to think as you are, you will essentially wire your brain to naturally think in a negative fashion.

That's reality. You need to face up and get positive about yourself or going to struggle big time in your future because you were informed yet decided to. It's your decision. I hope you make the right one.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

*Re: re: That's it, SA is done. It needs to go.*



shiznit said:


> I know my stuff.


Thats a relief, I thought we were all alone for a moment there.

Ross


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## Faded Lines (Sep 22, 2006)

Shiznit, all I can say is: You're the man. That was the biggest confidence booster I have ever read. However...I do believe I have social anxiety. Getting all worked up about how to say hello and little things like that, in my opinion, is not part of puberty. It doesn't matter anymore though, because I am beating this thing :banana


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Heh, best of luck, let us know how it goes bro!


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## Thief13x (May 4, 2005)

Shiznit is right. Social anxiety is only as real as you allow it to be. I was in your age 3 years ago, and I overcame SA, and look where I am again now? Don't lend an ear to the negative, I would rather be the weirdest kid on the block and not give a **** than to be who I am today


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## Faded Lines (Sep 22, 2006)

Hm..aside from some good days, I really didn't live up to this at all.


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

Faded Lines said:


> Hm..aside from some good days, I really didn't live up to this at all.


it certainly takes a lot of time, and i think you can live up to it if you keep on trying.

i'm in the same place right now. i feel like i've had a kind of "revelation" when i realized just how much i want to overcome my SA. of course i always wanted to but i didn't put any effort into it as i felt there was no point and i was hopeless. but i'm starting to think differently and now i'm feeling so motivated to have it treated and be able to actually live my life to the fullest. i'm feeling very excited but also a bit scared because i know it will take a lot of hard work, but it will so be worth it in the end.

anyway, i hope you continue on the right track, and keep on pushing yourself.. and just try to be confident and think positively. good luck.


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