# Eye contact exposure



## Dalmat (May 5, 2013)

I figured this out about week ago. If you are self conscious in public places, don't keep your gaze fixed in front of you like we usually do. Look around, pay attention to the things around you, and when you become confident enough, try to make eye contact with other people. If you are uncomfortable with this, start to do that while driving or from a longer distance. 
While you are making eye contact, don't think about your performance, think about people who you are looking at. It will keep your attention externally oriented, and that is a point of everything, external attention. It should be done repeatedly, just like any other type of exposure.

Since I am doing this, I feel much more confident than ever before. I mostly don't have a problem of facial tension which made me look angry or sad in most public situations. Yesterday i ate at restaurant alone for the first time in my life.


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## Thatguy55 (May 23, 2013)

You mean to just walk by a stranger and look him in the eye? Don't know if that's a good idea, maybe you should initiate a conversation or smile, say hello or something along those lines. A simple stare into someones eyes without anything else could end up being more uncomfortable for the person you're staring at.


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## Dalmat (May 5, 2013)

That is not staring, just a normal eye contact for max 1 second. It is natural thing, people do that all the time.


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## Thatguy55 (May 23, 2013)

I believe I misunderstood, I got the impression that you were literally staring at people to gain eye contact. I apologize for the confusion.


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## Dalmat (May 5, 2013)

I would compare this with a fear of monster under the bed. What is the solution to this problem? Look under the bed and prove yourself there is nothing to fear.

When you look at other people, you will prove yourself that nobody is watching you with judgment like we usually think. Actually, most people will avoid direct eye contact. Second, you will keep your attention externally focused and not think about your fears. Third, conversations will become less uncomfortable because eye contact is big issue in soc anx and social interaction.

Did some experiments this morning. Confidence overload. Felt like Chuck Norris most of time.


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