# Happy Hour



## wmu'14 (Sep 17, 2010)

Crap.

Just when it reaches Friday at last you find out that the company is having a happy hour.

I've been at my job for 3 weeks now. Pretty much the work just consists of typing, but I do have the coworker interaction. They're nice and try to be friendly. I think my socially awkwardness/anxiety can turn them off a little bit but they're happy to still try to include me in conversations. 

But happy hour. .. . .. . .. . ? **** A coworker asked me today if I was going and I didn't really give an answer. She's kind of ADD and moved on to something else when she saw me being quiet and my mind scrambling for an answer in silence but not coming with one due to the awkwardness. But she did tell me that I didn't have to go if I don't want to.

I don't want to. 
I'm socially anxious, awkward, can't really relate enough with coworkers to have a good time, etc etc

Questions:
Happy hour is normally after the usual time work ends, right?
While I do like drinking (finally my mind's not anxious), what should I get? I don't really know my drinks or what'd be appropriate. Is there food? What should I eat?
Should I go? I think I'm going to be quiet about it unless they ask a couple times and say with a smile 'If there's drinking, I can go anywhere.'
Anyone else go to happy hour for work?
How often do places have happy hour?


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## wmu'14 (Sep 17, 2010)

Well it went absolutely horrible. I highly recommend anyone with social anxiety/social awkwardness not go to happy hour with work ever.

I just can't ****ing socialize normally. I've never been good at talking to groups. I can't joke around. I don't care what they're talking about. Their conversations move too fast for me to follow or put in a comment. The restaurant's loud noise made it even harder. I can't speak over that loud noise. My ears which already have a hard time following the conversations hears all the background sound mixed in. Every time someone commented on me drinking I took it as them teasing me for not having enough. Who knows. Maybe they were. I had to sit by some ***** who I had never met that reminded me of so many women who have been rude to me and insulted me. There was another girl coworker who I had never met who was apparently looking for a date that tried talking to me and I never really answered her when she spoke to me and when she tried I just gave awkward answers. Every time I opened my mouth it was awkward, awkward, awkward. Pretty much the whole time I just sat in silence. My whole department is superoutgoing, and the one or two that aren't are social enough that they blend in in these types of outings.

****. This went bad. I hope they don't do this too often.
I don't care. I'm going to start making excuses to get out. Good college friend from the other side of the state is in town. Good friend who works weekends finally has today off. I don't know. If I become alienated and seen as weird for not going, who cares. It's been like this my whole life. 

I even had enough drinks to relax me. Enough that would've had me in giggles with my great friends. It didn't matter here. I was having a hard time socializing period.

Ugh.


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## BlueDay (May 6, 2014)

wmu'14 said:


> Well it went absolutely horrible. I highly recommend anyone with social anxiety/social awkwardness not go to happy hour with work ever.


Sorry to hear, but that can be one tough road to climb for many of us. I've only done it rarely, only when it involves free food. That way i can at least eat, so it's not as awkward to not be talking. Otherwise it can be VERY uncomfortable...unless you have a good friend from work that you can latch on to.


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## wmu'14 (Sep 17, 2010)

BlueDay said:


> Sorry to hear, but that can be one tough road to climb for many of us. I've only done it rarely, only when it involves free food. That way i can at least eat, so it's not as awkward to not be talking. Otherwise it can be VERY uncomfortable...unless you have a good friend from work that you can latch on to.


I thought the drinks would act like your food distraction but they really didn't. 
I just don't understand. How can the drinking really make me talkative when I'm with friends or silly when alone but still totally silent when with people I may not really be as close to?

I wouldn't even describe it as 'uncomfortable.' I felt like I didn't belong there. You know you have a problem when you've had some drinks and are still stuttering. lol

What excuses do you use to get out of these things?


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## BlueDay (May 6, 2014)

wmu'14 said:


> What excuses do you use to get out of these things?


Usually just a generic "Sorry, I have plans." Most peole won't press you for what the plans are-- if they do, I say it's dinner with a relative or some relative's birthday.

If it's just a get-together announced in general through an email or some posting, I might just no-show and the next day pull a "Ohhhh.....it slipped my mind! And I really wanted to go!" lol


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## wmu'14 (Sep 17, 2010)

I just can't believe how ****ty I actually did.


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## jlscho03 (Sep 5, 2012)

I turned down happy hour all the time. I actually was only invited because they knew I'd say no, haha. I actually liked my coworkers, too. First couple times I was genuinely invited, I think, but after that they knew I'd say no. No one ever pressed it further.

I never went because I had never been to a bar before and didn't want to embarrass myself. How do I order? WHAT do I order? What do I talk about? Etc.

If I were to get invited in the future, I would probably go, though, but I guess it depends on the people.


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## detweiler (Aug 2, 2009)

wmu'14 said:


> How can the drinking really make me talkative when I'm with friends or silly when alone but still totally silent when with people I may not really be as close to?


I'm guessing it's because you experience enjoyment in the former situation whereas you feel fear in the latter, and because alcohol basically exacerbates one's existing emotions and leads to more behaviors associated with those emotions.



wmu'14 said:


> I just can't believe how ****ty I actually did.


This makes me think you viewed the happy hour as a performance of sorts, an opportunity to be evaluated by other people. No wonder you were stressing. This is an issue for me as well.


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