# Game night with crush and mostly strangers



## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

Went to a meetup game night. One friend there, girl I'm really into, and about 8 strangers. I felt very little anxiety, it was a fun, friendly environment where everybody was really nice. Played Pictionary, Apples to Apples card game, and everybody sharing stories and laughs.

I actually initiated conversations with my crush. Had only seen her once before, and she gave me her FB and phone number previously, we'd had some very good back and forth messaging. So last night I got to sit next to her, and that made me a teensy bit nervous but I think I hid it well and fought through it, made some eye contact, made her laugh a few times.

Brought her favorite snack and surprised her with it, she was really happy about that. Feel like I have a chance with her, it's a long shot, she's a lot younger than me, and still kind of 'raw' from some previous relationships going badly, guys not treating her right.

Maybe I can restore her faith in the male gender. I'm impatient. It's going better than expected, but I want her to really like me, to become a trusted person, involved in her life. She just lights up a room, with her personality and cuteness. It's been a long time since I felt this strongly about a person.

Guess I should be glad I'm taking on my anxiety and trying new things that years ago I would be too scared to do! Wasn't that long ago my head was buried deep up my *** and I was hiding from the world and hating myself. Now I'm at a party laughing and flirting and sharing smiles with a gorgeous woman who trusted me with her phone number and social profile.

This all or nothing mentality.... why can't I be happy!?!? Argh! For every success, there's a feeling of wanting more. No matter how things go, I should be grateful and proud of myself for trying. (and you should too, dear reader)


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## beastmittens (Aug 25, 2014)

Wow! I just came across this and I can't believe how similar it sounds to a situation I just went through in the last few weeks. Your way of thinking/feeling seems so familiar to me! I actually laughed out loud while reading it cuz it was such a funny coincidence. A few weeks ago I went over to my friends family's house one Sunday night for a game night and ending up developing quite a crush on his 19 year old sister. I'm 28 so there is an age gap like you are dealing with. Not sure if your age gap is quite as large as mine. Your description of her personality sounds a whole lot like how I would describe this girl I like too. She's also had some bad relationship experiences so I was really wanting to show her that not all guys are like that! The first few times I was around her she was very flirty with me which I really enjoyed because it rarely ever happens! I knew I wanted to ask this girl out, but because of this intense fear I have towards dating I became extremely anxious about it. So anxious that my mind basically became consumed/obsessed with this girl to the point I felt I had no control over my mind. I was trying so hard to figure how I was gonna work up the courage to actually ask her out and I would think about it all day and night. My anxiety would go through the roof just thinking about all the possible scenarios and "what ifs". I knew if I asked her out that either possibility was bad. If she turned me down then I would feel depressed, rejected and feel just terribly worthless. If she said yes and agreed to go on a date then my anxiety would go to even greater heights and I would obsess over how to not screw it up and would probably have panic attacks. I ended up going over to her house for family game night a few times and was able to get her number in the process. I texted her a few times and she seemed interested. My friend/her brother and his fiancee even told me that she was interested in me! So I thought I've got to fight through all this horrendous anxiety and make this happen! So one night when I couldn't sleep cuz of nervousness I faced my fear by texting her and asking her out. Unfortunately, the story doesn't end so well though. She wrote back the next day and turned me down. I couldn't believe it. So just like I imagined, I have felt really depressed for the last week. My mind has been obsessing over trying to figure out what I did wrong and wondering if I should be persistent and not give up. It seemed to be moving in a good direction and then all of the sudden the floor dropped out and I still can't figure out why. I've tried to text her some but either only got really short replies or no reply at all. I know I shouldn't be obsessing over this one girl that I don't really know that well but unfortunately this is the way my mind works. Like you said I know I should grateful and proud of myself for trying and working up the courage to ask her out but my crazy mind seems to do what it wants to do. I know this is really long so I'll just end it by saying that I really hope your situation ends better than mine did!


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

beastmittens said:


> Wow! I just came across this and I can't believe how similar it sounds to a situation I just went through in the last few weeks. Your way of thinking/feeling seems so familiar to me! I actually laughed out loud while reading it cuz it was such a funny coincidence. A few weeks ago I went over to my friends family's house one Sunday night for a game night and ending up developing quite a crush on his 19 year old sister. I'm 28 so there is an age gap like you are dealing with. Not sure if your age gap is quite as large as mine. Your description of her personality sounds a whole lot like how I would describe this girl I like too. She's also had some bad relationship experiences so I was really wanting to show her that not all guys are like that! The first few times I was around her she was very flirty with me which I really enjoyed because it rarely ever happens! I knew I wanted to ask this girl out, but because of this intense fear I have towards dating I became extremely anxious about it. So anxious that my mind basically became consumed/obsessed with this girl to the point I felt I had no control over my mind. I was trying so hard to figure how I was gonna work up the courage to actually ask her out and I would think about it all day and night. My anxiety would go through the roof just thinking about all the possible scenarios and "what ifs". I knew if I asked her out that either possibility was bad. If she turned me down then I would feel depressed, rejected and feel just terribly worthless. If she said yes and agreed to go on a date then my anxiety would go to even greater heights and I would obsess over how to not screw it up and would probably have panic attacks. I ended up going over to her house for family game night a few times and was able to get her number in the process. I texted her a few times and she seemed interested. My friend/her brother and his fiancee even told me that she was interested in me! So I thought I've got to fight through all this horrendous anxiety and make this happen! So one night when I couldn't sleep cuz of nervousness I faced my fear by texting her and asking her out. Unfortunately, the story doesn't end so well though. She wrote back the next day and turned me down. I couldn't believe it. So just like I imagined, I have felt really depressed for the last week. My mind has been obsessing over trying to figure out what I did wrong and wondering if I should be persistent and not give up. It seemed to be moving in a good direction and then all of the sudden the floor dropped out and I still can't figure out why. I've tried to text her some but either only got really short replies or no reply at all. I know I shouldn't be obsessing over this one girl that I don't really know that well but unfortunately this is the way my mind works. Like you said I know I should grateful and proud of myself for trying and working up the courage to ask her out but my crazy mind seems to do what it wants to do. I know this is really long so I'll just end it by saying that I really hope your situation ends better than mine did!


Wow. This is too much of a coincidence. And you just joined this month, and your first post is this???

Are you trolling me? What you wrote is almost exactly the same as I think, how I feel. Situations almost identical.

My paranoid mind detects something wrong here

Also, edit that and use paragraphs, giant wall of text hurts my eyes


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## beastmittens (Aug 25, 2014)

Haha well I can definitely understand how you would think I was trolling you, but I can assure you everything I said is 100% true. Your paranoid mind is definitely wrong this time! Not really sure how I can convince you; you will just have to trust me.

And actually the only reason I joined this forum was to reply to your post. I was having a rough day yesterday and while doing some research I came across this website. I was just browsing around the forum and saw your post. I saw it had game night with crush in the title and I thought hah thats funny, that's what I just went through. Then I read through it and was like holy cow this is weird! I wasn't even thinking about joining but your post was just so eerily similar to what I'm going through that I knew I had to reply to it!

Sorry about the wall of text. I just started writing and couldn't stop. Not sure how to edit it unfortunately.

Keep me updated on your situation. I'm interested to hear how it turns out. If you have questions for me feel free to ask away.


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

beastmittens said:


> Haha well I can definitely understand how you would think I was trolling you, but I can assure you everything I said is 100% true. Your paranoid mind is definitely wrong this time! Not really sure how I can convince you; you will just have to trust me.
> 
> And actually the only reason I joined this forum was to reply to your post. I was having a rough day yesterday and while doing some research I came across this website. I was just browsing around the forum and saw your post. I saw it had game night with crush in the title and I thought hah thats funny, that's what I just went through. Then I read through it and was like holy cow this is weird! I wasn't even thinking about joining but your post was just so eerily similar to what I'm going through that I knew I had to reply to it!
> 
> ...


That is weird. Glad you're not screwing with me, posting personal stuff on here makes me a tad paranoid that people would look up who I really am and try to wreak havoc on my life as part of some sick game. In reality though I doubt any one really cares enough to go to all that trouble for little old me. Maybe that's a good movie idea... "I Know What You Did Last Forum Post" ... working title. If the Blair Witch Project can make millions, why not this?

Thank you for sharing though. It's hard fighting against the obsessive thoughts, especially being lonely socially awkward people with small or non-existent social lives, and not getting a lot of opportunities to connect with people. So when one does come along, it' feels like a huge deal, an the desperately lonely mind latches on hard. Of course, clingy-ness and neediness are girl repellant. So reminding myself to chill out, relax, be patient, not over-think it are very important. To not over-analyze every communication. Be cool, I tell myself.

It's awesome that you took the chance despite your fear to ask her out. I hope in the future I can do the same with my crush. Do you think if you'd waited longer to ask, and built up the connection with her in the mean time you might have gotten a better result? I'm thinking I should stop messaging her and wait for her to send me a message. And if she doesn't, let it go and focus on other people.

ps there should be an edit button under your previous post


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## Paragon (Apr 13, 2010)

Glad it went well man, hope it continues to as well  Sounds good that you got her number and FB too.


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

Paragon said:


> Glad it went well man, hope it continues to as well  Sounds good that you got her number and FB too.


Thanks!

That's what I was thinking when I started to worry - she didn't give me her FB and phone number, trusting me with those, for no reason. It wasn't an accident. There had to be some interest there or she wouldn't have bothered at all.

Now it's just a matter of hoping her mood improves and we can get back to the positive, fun conversations we had earlier last week.


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## Paragon (Apr 13, 2010)

Read the latest post on your other thread and it sounds kinda positive that she came back to you, makes it seem more likely she was genuinely having a bad day. Well, I hope it works out


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## beastmittens (Aug 25, 2014)

mjkittredge said:


> That is weird. Glad you're not screwing with me, posting personal stuff on here makes me a tad paranoid that people would look up who I really am and try to wreak havoc on my life as part of some sick game. In reality though I doubt any one really cares enough to go to all that trouble for little old me. Maybe that's a good movie idea... "I Know What You Did Last Forum Post" ... working title. If the Blair Witch Project can make millions, why not this?
> 
> Thank you for sharing though. It's hard fighting against the obsessive thoughts, especially being lonely socially awkward people with small or non-existent social lives, and not getting a lot of opportunities to connect with people. So when one does come along, it' feels like a huge deal, an the desperately lonely mind latches on hard. Of course, clingy-ness and neediness are girl repellant. So reminding myself to chill out, relax, be patient, not over-think it are very important. To not over-analyze every communication. Be cool, I tell myself.
> 
> ...


Yeah I think you might be right about the mind making a huge deal out of these situations because of the rarity of them. This situation seemed so perfect to me that I got really attached really quickly. Then when it abruptly ended it left me in total confusion and my mind still doesn't want to fully accept that it is over. I am trying to relax and just move on but a part of my mind still thinks that there's hope to turn things around. I'm having to really fight the temptation to text her even though I know it's most likely not a good idea. Like you said I know I need to just let her text me and if she doesn't then just move on. The hard part is just getting my mind to accept it!

I'm not sure if there's really anything I could've done differently that would've changed things. I could've waited longer but I was afraid she would lose interest in me if I didn't strike while the iron was hot. Of course now it appears the iron wasn't as nearly as hot as I thought it was!

Do you have another thread that talks about your situation with that girl? How can I find it? Sorry, I'm new to this forum so I don't know my way around yet.


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

beastmittens said:


> Yeah I think you might be right about the mind making a huge deal out of these situations because of the rarity of them. This situation seemed so perfect to me that I got really attached really quickly. Then when it abruptly ended it left me in total confusion and my mind still doesn't want to fully accept that it is over. I am trying to relax and just move on but a part of my mind still thinks that there's hope to turn things around. I'm having to really fight the temptation to text her even though I know it's most likely not a good idea. Like you said I know I need to just let her text me and if she doesn't then just move on. The hard part is just getting my mind to accept it!
> 
> I'm not sure if there's really anything I could've done differently that would've changed things. I could've waited longer but I was afraid she would lose interest in me if I didn't strike while the iron was hot. Of course now it appears the iron wasn't as nearly as hot as I thought it was!
> 
> Do you have another thread that talks about your situation with that girl? How can I find it? Sorry, I'm new to this forum so I don't know my way around yet.


Exactly. It's like a war between the rational mind and the heart. The rational mind knows it's most likely over with no chance, but the heart won't listen. It's already built up this person and a vision of you both together with hope and imagination and wishful thinking. When a person lights up your life with their brilliance and energy, the heart doesn't want to return to the desolate emptiness, the darkness that came before her.

I agree about waiting vs going for it, damned if you do, damned if you don't. It's like either approach could go wrong and it's mostly guess work. So you make an educated guess and hope for the best. If you're too interested and too available, it puts them off, if you're not interested enough, it puts them off. Trying to find that invisible sweet spot, like hitting the g-spot, lol.

The other thread I made about this, click my name on the left above my picture, then click view profile. Then select statistics, and threads created by.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

mjkittredge said:


> Went to a meetup game night. One friend there, girl I'm really into, and about 8 strangers. I felt very little anxiety, it was a fun, friendly environment where everybody was really nice. Played Pictionary, Apples to Apples card game, and everybody sharing stories and laughs.
> 
> I actually initiated conversations with my crush. Had only seen her once before, and she gave me her FB and phone number previously, we'd had some very good back and forth messaging. So last night I got to sit next to her, and that made me a teensy bit nervous but I think I hid it well and fought through it, made some eye contact, made her laugh a few times.
> 
> ...


How young? :bat


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

millenniumman75 said:


> How young? :bat


Haha, that's a cute smiley, I needed that for the bullying threads.

If you read the other thread I made on the subject you'd know her mom has known me for months and trusts me enough to introduce her daughter to me as her own idea.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

mjkittredge said:


> Haha, that's a cute smiley, I needed that for the bullying threads.
> 
> If you read the other thread I made on the subject you'd know her mom has known me for months and trusts me enough to introduce her daughter to me as her own idea.


Well, since her mom knows....


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## beastmittens (Aug 25, 2014)

mjkittredge said:


> Exactly. It's like a war between the rational mind and the heart. The rational mind knows it's most likely over with no chance, but the heart won't listen. It's already built up this person and a vision of you both together with hope and imagination and wishful thinking. When a person lights up your life with their brilliance and energy, the heart doesn't want to return to the desolate emptiness, the darkness that came before her.
> 
> I agree about waiting vs going for it, damned if you do, damned if you don't. It's like either approach could go wrong and it's mostly guess work. So you make an educated guess and hope for the best. If you're too interested and too available, it puts them off, if you're not interested enough, it puts them off. Trying to find that invisible sweet spot, like hitting the g-spot, lol.
> 
> The other thread I made about this, click my name on the left above my picture, then click view profile. Then select statistics, and threads created by.


Wow man I think you are spot on. The war you describe sounds just like what I'm going through. I feel like you understand my way of thinking better than my counselor does! Haha.

The part where you talked about finding that sweet spot is something that has always bugged me about the whole dating thing. You're either too interested and "clingy/needy/desperate" or you're not interested enough and you don't care about her and she wants someone who'll show her more attention. It just seems like there is no logic, rhyme or reason to any of it. Any little thing you do or don't do can be taken as something completely different than you intended and ruin your chances. I feel like you have to do everything perfectly or it's over before it could even begin. It just seems like playing an frustratingly difficult game. Alright enough venting for today! Haha


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

beastmittens said:


> Wow man I think you are spot on. The war you describe sounds just like what I'm going through. I feel like you understand my way of thinking better than my counselor does! Haha.
> 
> The part where you talked about finding that sweet spot is something that has always bugged me about the whole dating thing. You're either too interested and "clingy/needy/desperate" or you're not interested enough and you don't care about her and she wants someone who'll show her more attention. It just seems like there is no logic, rhyme or reason to any of it. Any little thing you do or don't do can be taken as something completely different than you intended and ruin your chances. I feel like you have to do everything perfectly or it's over before it could even begin. It just seems like playing an frustratingly difficult game. Alright enough venting for today! Haha


You're supposed to guess their moods correctly every time. If they are pissed you're supposed to know and leave them alone. If they are needing comfort you're supposed to know and give them attention.

But they won't tell you. In between the avoidance and guessing games and silent treatment and long waits for a tiny, short, disinterested message from them, there is the dream we had of a happy relationship with this person.


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## seeking777 (Oct 24, 2012)

Congrats on a success man. Hearing these stories always inspires me and gives me hope for improving my own situation. By telling your story you're helping others as well as yourself, thanks for sharing.


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

seeking777 said:


> Congrats on a success man. Hearing these stories always inspires me and gives me hope for improving my own situation. By telling your story you're helping others as well as yourself, thanks for sharing.


You're welcome, thanks for reading and responding. It's taken a long road to get to this point, and I'm still a ways off from where I want to be. But the main thing is I'm doing gradually better than before.


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

*Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhh*



beastmittens said:


> Wow man I think you are spot on. The war you describe sounds just like what I'm going through. I feel like you understand my way of thinking better than my counselor does! Haha.
> 
> The part where you talked about finding that sweet spot is something that has always bugged me about the whole dating thing. You're either too interested and "clingy/needy/desperate" or you're not interested enough and you don't care about her and she wants someone who'll show her more attention. It just seems like there is no logic, rhyme or reason to any of it. Any little thing you do or don't do can be taken as something completely different than you intended and ruin your chances. I feel like you have to do everything perfectly or it's over before it could even begin. It just seems like playing an frustratingly difficult game. Alright enough venting for today! Haha


And it's finally over today. We had a decent back and forth on FB, so I asked to hang out with her, asked if I could be her friend. She said I was too old, and didn't want anything more than an occasional online chat or texting.

Wish we'd had that conversation in the beginning before I became infatuated with her. Just bothers me that she gave me her FB and phone number, but didn't mean anything by it and was never interested in me, and I was getting false hope from those things. I assumed by her sharing those that meant she was interested - I mean I would never give a person either thing if I didn't like them. I feel like a fool.

I don't know. Maybe I dodged a bullet and she would be awful to date - young, inexperienced, moody, unsure who she is or what she wants. But for the brief time I spent getting to know her, she seemed wonderful, and now I'm very sad. There was so much I wanted to share with her, I imagined us happy together, hoped I had a chance no matter how slim.

At least now the obsessive thoughts can stop and I can feel normal again.


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## beastmittens (Aug 25, 2014)

mjkittredge said:


> And it's finally over today. We had a decent back and forth on FB, so I asked to hang out with her, asked if I could be her friend. She said I was too old, and didn't want anything more than an occasional online chat or texting.
> 
> Wish we'd had that conversation in the beginning before I became infatuated with her. Just bothers me that she gave me her FB and phone number, but didn't mean anything by it and was never interested in me, and I was getting false hope from those things. I assumed by her sharing those that meant she was interested - I mean I would never give a person either thing if I didn't like them. I feel like a fool.
> 
> ...


Oh man I'm sorry to hear that! I was hoping your situation would end better than mine did but it seems they are still eerily similar. It might not help, but I know pretty much exactly what you're feeling cuz I just went through this about a week and a half ago. I had the same hopes you did man.

Hey at least you got a reason as to why she wasn't interested. I'm still in complete confusion. My mind has been desperately trying to figure it out but no luck so far. I wish I could just get some closure but last time I tried texting her she didn't answer so it seems I'm not going to get an honest explanation.

I also feel lead on because all the signs pointed to her being interested. My mind, like yours, started imagining all these happy times together which got my hopes way up. Of course, when she inexplicably turned me down it made the rejection that much worse. I hope you will be able to turn off the obsessive thoughts and move on. I've been really struggling with that part. I know I'll get over it eventually, it will just take some time. I know you will as well. Hang in there.


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

beastmittens said:


> Oh man I'm sorry to hear that! I was hoping your situation would end better than mine did but it seems they are still eerily similar. It might not help, but I know pretty much exactly what you're feeling cuz I just went through this about a week and a half ago. I had the same hopes you did man.
> 
> Hey at least you got a reason as to why she wasn't interested. I'm still in complete confusion. My mind has been desperately trying to figure it out but no luck so far. I wish I could just get some closure but last time I tried texting her she didn't answer so it seems I'm not going to get an honest explanation.
> 
> I also feel lead on because all the signs pointed to her being interested. My mind, like yours, started imagining all these happy times together which got my hopes way up. Of course, when she inexplicably turned me down it made the rejection that much worse. I hope you will be able to turn off the obsessive thoughts and move on. I've been really struggling with that part. I know I'll get over it eventually, it will just take some time. I know you will as well. Hang in there.


Yeah that reason might seem like a small thing to others, but having closure makes a big difference. The mind doesn't have to wonder about answers because it knows the answer.

Without that who knows - she could have been initially interested, then lost interest/changed her mind. Could have met someone else. Could have gone through a huge mood swing. Could have had been a friend playing the spoiler "Oh no girl, he's no good for you!". Could have just liked the attention and you mistook her friendliness for more.

But the reason doesn't matter, the result is the same - they're gone. And they're lots of other people out there. You're right, we'll get over it with enough time. Thanks for the words of encouragement.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

f8cmyqqraaaahs said:


> wow good, I'm not playing crush and mostly strangers but I play was Text twist is one of the most popular free word games. If you are a habitual player then you might want to place your hands on some of the exceptional strategies to implement. For the ones who are a stranger to the text twist word game, I would first introduce the basics of the game. This addictive word game provides six or sometimes seven shuffled letters.
> The player is expected to form words out of those letters by aligning them in a proper manner. You can form as many words out of the letters as possible. Till the time you are able to use all of the presented letters in a single word, you will remain on the same level. A word with all six or seven letters will help you jump to the next level. The “twist” button on the screen, when clicked, will shuffle all the letters again for the sake of the player’s facileness.


You are about 7 years late with this post, lmao


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