# Do girls prefer guys that never had sex before or is it weird?



## TreborHG9

I just want to hear the opinion of girls only but guys can leave comments too. Would you prefer that a guy's first time is with you or do you prefer him to be more "experienced"? and why do you prefer one over the other?


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## Amphoteric

Yes, I would prefer a virgin.


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## diamondheart89

I can't really say since no guy I've been with has been a virgin (as far as I know). But it definitely wouldn't stop me if I liked him. It would be kind of cute actually. I could teach him stuff.


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## komorikun

Don't care either way if it was a relationship. I can teach them.

For a one night stand, of course, experienced is preferable. I've never been with a virgin (that I know of) but I think I have been with a couple inexperienced guys. They didn't seem to know how to move well and were not keen on going down.


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## Mr Bacon

Your age would be a factor to consider. But overall, if you've got many things going for you, the simple lack of sexual experience shouldn't be too much of a problem. This has always been my opinion.


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## DeeperUnderstanding

> Your age would be a factor to consider.


Please clarify this statement. Do you mean that guys who are a certain age can't lose their virginity? Or do you mean that, depending on your age as a virgin, you should look for different things (as in, if you are an older virgin, you should look for women who are more experienced and maybe single mothers?)

If you're trying to say that older virgins (past 25 and into their 30s and 40s) can't lose their virginity, I find that ludacris. Lisa Kudrow was 32 when she lost hers. That Tim Tebow dude is close to 30 and still a virgin.


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## TreborHG9

Mr Bacon said:


> Your age would be a factor to consider. But overall, if you've got many things going for you, the simple lack of sexual experience shouldn't be too much of a problem. This has always been my opinion.


I'm 20. What age would you say being a virgin becomes "creepy" and not "cute"


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## Mochyn

I wouldn't care either way.

Purely for health reasons a virgin could be preferable because you'd know they didn't have any STDs.

and

If that person has chosen you to be their first then that's a compliment.


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## changeme77

Doesn't matter although experience will make you better in bed.


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## march_hare

No preference.


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## Morumot

I guess I would prefer a virgin seeing as how I'm a virgin myself, I would just be concerned that they might want to 'spread their seed' before they settle down.


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## LunaOsa

I prefer a virgin seeing as I'm also a virgin..


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## dal user

Of course not many of the women here would care. As soon as they lose it though they would care.

once you reach your 20's without having sex it will never happen. It gives off a weird vibe. Dont anybody tell me im ****ing wrong either. Some people here live in a dream world if they think it doesn't matter. I've even witnessed a few posts here from people saying they wouldn't date a virgin. 

Do a survey out in the real world and I'll bet my life on it that all the answers given will be NO.

Look at it this way, why would any self respecting outgoing woman date a man who's awkward as **** and has never had sex before?

Its ****ing laughable that some people here discrddit my statements all the time. Its always the same people as well. Its cos I speak the ****ing truth and thats that. At the end of the day I know im right, thats why I get so many responses cos some people dont like the truth.


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## MrQuiet76

^^lol, my buddy lost his virginity well into his 20's and he's pretty socially awkward, so.... you're wrong


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## lisbeth

Rich91 said:


> once you reach your 20's without having sex it will never happen. *It gives off a weird vibe. *
> 
> (...)
> 
> Look at it this way, why would any self respecting outgoing woman date a man who's *awkward as ***** and has never had sex before?


It's the weird vibe and awkwardness that are the reasons for never having had sex, not the result of it. I wouldn't want to date a guy who had all the sexual experience under the sun if he was awkward as **** and had a weird vibe.


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## dal user

MrQuiet76 said:


> ^^lol, my buddy lost his virginity well into his 20's and he's pretty socially awkward, so.... you're wrong


Im not though

You're making it up


lisbeth said:


> It's the weird vibe and awkwardness that are the reasons for never having had sex, not the result of it. I wouldn't want to date a guy who had all the sexual experience under the sun if he was awkward as **** and had a weird vibe.


Well if someone with SA doesn't like socially awkward guys then us guys are truly ****ed (no pun) wouldn't you agree?

also ugliness is a reason too. Some women wont **** a guy who looks like quasimodo or a troll.


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## MrQuiet76

Rich91 said:


> Im not though
> 
> You're making it up


lolol yeah i sit on an SA forum making up stuff just to counter your powerful "don't tell me I'm wrong" argument... you're really something else


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## Persephone The Dread

Don't care. It would have all the impact on me that hearing they'd never tried playing basketball before would have.


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## dal user

MrQuiet76 said:


> lolol yeah i sit on an SA forum making up stuff just to counter your powerful "don't tell me I'm wrong" argument... you're really something else


Hahaha I dont give a **** bro, say what you like, I know what im saying is right. And I've always been something else so yeah you're right about that one.


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## thruthecracks

Rich91 said:


> Look at it this way, why would any self respecting outgoing woman date a man who's awkward as **** and has never had sex before?


Here are a couple of reasons: There are still women and men who romanticize sexual activity and value "saving themselves" for people they love. There are also people who are practical about the consequences of sexual activity.

You sound really upset, Rich91. What's going on?

Here's my answer to the original question:

Some men finish quickly their first time or two, so in such circumstances, I think it would be best to be with someone experienced (or educated and caring) who will not take it personally or be annoyed, knowing it's common. Therefore, a female virgin may do better with someone who will protect her self esteem.

Mostly, though skill and stamina are certainly appreciated, I think similar attitudes, a sense of humor, generosity, etc., contribute equally to create a positive experience.


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## dal user

thruthecracks said:


> Here are a couple of reasons: There are still women and men who romanticize sexual activity and value "saving themselves" for people they love. There are also people who are practical about the consequences of sexual activity.
> 
> You sound really upset, Rich91. What's going on?
> 
> Here's my answer to the original question:
> 
> Some men finish quickly their first time or two, so in such circumstances, I think it would be best to be with someone experienced (or educated and caring) who will not take it personally or be annoyed, knowing it's common. Therefore, a female virgin may do better with someone who will protect her self esteem.
> 
> Mostly, though skill and stamina are certainly appreciated, I think similar attitudes, a sense of humor, generosity, etc., contribute equally to create a positive experience.


So thats why its never gonna happen then.

*[Staff Edit]*


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## thruthecracks

Rich91 said:


> So thats why its never gonna happen then.


Are you really going to make me slog through a bunch of ultraconservative propaganda or sickly sweet romantic nonsense just to show you there are real people who would want to have sex with someone "pure" in order to express "true," mutual love?

Or, I can get into the details of how a woman might enjoy shaping an inexperienced lover to do whatever she wants.

I'll check my calendar. Stop being a grump, or I'm going to send a dom to knock you off that rocking horse.

XOXO


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## Mr Bacon

DeeperUnderstanding said:


> Please clarify this statement. Do you mean that guys who are a certain age can't lose their virginity? Or do you mean that, depending on your age as a virgin, you should look for different things (as in, if you are an older virgin, you should look for women who are more experienced and maybe single mothers?)


No, I'm not saying that it is impossible to lose your virginity past a certain age. I'm simply saying that the older one gets, the more red flags are going to be associated with one's virginity.



TreborHG9 said:


> I'm 20. What age would you say being a virgin becomes "creepy" and not "cute"


I wouldn't know where to place the line exactly. Many seem to say that past 25, it starts raising questions.

Still, if I were a virgin when I was 20 I most likely wouldn't advertize it to everyone. I would stick to something along the lines of "_I don't have that much experience under the bed covers and have been down on my luck in the dating department lately._" That's just me.


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## thruthecracks

Mr Bacon said:


> I would stick to something along the lines of "_I don't have that much experience under the bed covers and have been down on my luck in the dating department lately._"


Sweetie, don't say that. Learn good foreplay, and she likely won't even hear whatever you try to say.

Gotta run. Night, all.


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## dal user

thruthecracks said:


> Are you really going to make me slog through a bunch of ultraconservative propaganda or sickly sweet romantic nonsense just to show you there are real people who would want to have sex with someone "pure" in order to express "true," mutual love?
> 
> Or, I can get into the details of how a woman might enjoy shaping an inexperienced lover to do whatever she wants.
> 
> I'll check my calendar. Stop being a grump, or I'm going to send a dom to knock you off that rocking horse.
> 
> XOXO


Well they must be few and far between if there is any women out there like that.


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## Mr Bacon

thruthecracks said:


> Learn good foreplay, and she likely won't even hear whatever you try to say.


Wise words. Actions tend to trump words. :yes


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## lisbeth

Rich91 said:


> Well if someone with SA doesn't like socially awkward guys then us guys are truly ****ed (no pun) wouldn't you agree?
> 
> also ugliness is a reason too. Some women wont **** a guy who looks like quasimodo or a troll.


Shyness and social anxiety don't necessarily equal social awkwardness. I would class the former as _being _uncomfortable in social situations and the latter as _making other people _uncomfortable. Big difference.

Rich, let's turn this around. Say you meet a girl who's really physically unattractive, gives off a weird and creepy vibe, and makes difficult or unpleasant company. Do you immediately want to drop your pants and run off into the sunset with her?


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## dal user

lisbeth said:


> Rich, let's turn this around. Say you meet a girl who's really physically unattractive, gives off a weird and creepy vibe, and makes difficult or unpleasant company. Do you immediately want to drop your pants and run off into the sunset with her?


Obvious not. Thats my point though thats why me and other physically unnatractive people are most likely to be alone for good. Its alright for you being picky because you are attractive and seem really clever. You will go far in life because of that and will gain a lot of interest from people. You even said you have quite a number of friends?

So naturally its easy for good looking people to be where they want and get what they want. Ugly dumb people like myself are at the bottom all the time. Dont anybody say this isn't true either because it ****ing well is. Ugly people get treated like we are sub human or something.


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## lisbeth

Rich91 said:


> Obvious not. Thats my point though thats why me and other physically unnatractive people are most likely to be alone for good. Its alright for you being picky because you are attractive and seem really clever. You will go far in life because of that and will gain a lot of interest from people. You even said you have quite a number of friends?
> 
> So naturally its easy for good looking people to be where they want and get what they want. Ugly dumb people like myself are at the bottom all the time. Dont anybody say this isn't true either because it ****ing well is. Ugly people get treated like we are sub human or something.


I mean, I just think you've got the wrong way of looking at this. Of course people aren't going to be drawn to somebody who doesn't actually show any traits that'll draw them in, that's natural. But instead of taking a ridiculously defeatist attitude about it, surely it makes more sense to think about what you have to offer. Like, to work on becoming someone who's nice to be around. There are things everyone can do to improve their presentation, kindness, social skills, other skills/hobbies so they have something interesting to talk about, whatever. Little things in themselves but it all has a cumulative effect. The constant negativity is just so poisonous.

As for the rest of it, all that 'it's all right for you' - why do you always have to make everything personal?


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## dal user

lisbeth said:


> I mean, I just think you've got the wrong way of looking at this. Of course people aren't going to be drawn to somebody who doesn't actually show any traits that'll draw them in, that's natural. But instead of taking a ridiculously defeatist attitude about it, surely it makes more sense to think about what you have to offer. Like, to work on becoming someone who's nice to be around. There are things everyone can do to improve their presentation, kindness, social skills, other skills/hobbies so they have something interesting to talk about, whatever. Little things in themselves but it all has a cumulative effect. The constant negativity is just so poisonous.
> 
> As for the rest of it, all that 'it's all right for you' - why do you always have to make everything personal?


People dont give a **** what im interested in or what im like as a person. They only see me as one thing and thats a RETARD.

I dont have **** to offer. Being nice doesn't pay and where I grew up kindness is taken for weakness. I've lived my whole life in a negative ****hole town up north how am I not supposed to have a negative self defeatist poisonous attitude?

I make things personal because thats all I know. Im not picking at you but it easy for a uni student to be saying things like this to a dunce like me. Up north we dont care for things like presentation and all that bollocks. Even when I've tried to be nice it never works cos apparently im too stupid and ugly looking to ever be good enough for anyone. Its hard for someone like to make new friends as im quite awkward to be around and im very dosile looking, like theres something wrong with me, people can tell just by looking at me there is something not normal about me.

If I get on your nerves or you dont like me just block me if you want to, thats fine by me. I cant change who I am at the end of the day and I dont always mean to make things personal.


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## TreborHG9

Rich91 said:


> People dont give a **** what im interested in or what im like as a person. They only see me as one thing and thats a RETARD.
> 
> I dont have **** to offer. Being nice doesn't pay and where I grew up kindness is taken for weakness. I've lived my whole life in a negative ****hole town up north how am I not supposed to have a negative self defeatist poisonous attitude?
> 
> I make things personal because thats all I know. Im not picking at you but it easy for a uni student to be saying things like this to a dunce like me. Up north we dont care for things like presentation and all that bollocks. Even when I've tried to be nice it never works cos apparently im too stupid and ugly looking to ever be good enough for anyone. Its hard for someone like to make new friends as im quite awkward to be around and im very dosile looking, like theres something wrong with me, people can tell just by looking at me there is something not normal about me.
> 
> If I get on your nerves or you dont like me just block me if you want to, thats fine by me. I cant change who I am at the end of the day and I dont always mean to make things personal.


Dude take it easy and calm down. I'm not good looking at all neither and I have been bullied at school for it. You need to improve the things that you CAN improve and love yourself just the way you are since you can go ANYWHERE on the planet and you will never find anyone like you. That makes you UNIQUE. If you are not confident about your looks post your pic and I will give you a real, honest opinion. I'm ugly and I actually had an attractive girl fall for me in high school. I thought she was kidding so I didn't pay much attention to her so I guess she stopped trying after that. Complaining will not change anything in your life. You need to take action. You can put yourself down all day and not accomplish anything. Try experimenting and changing your looks a bit. Being nice would also help a lot.

First step would be not to curse or scream at girls like you have been doing here. If you do this outside, then women will definitely try to stay away from you.


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## dal user

TreborHG9 said:


> Dude take it easy and calm down. I'm not good looking at all neither and I have been bullied at school for it. You need to improve the things that you CAN improve and love yourself just the way you are since you can go ANYWHERE on the planet and you will never find anyone like you. That makes you UNIQUE. If you are not confident about your looks post your pic and I will give you a real, honest opinion. I'm ugly and I actually had an attractive girl fall for me in high school. I thought she was kidding so I didn't pay much attention to her so I guess she stopped trying after that. Complaining will not change anything in your life. You need to take action. You can put yourself down all day and not accomplish anything. Try experimenting and changing your looks a bit. Being nice would also help a lot.
> 
> First step would be not to curse or scream at girls like you have been doing here. If you do this outside, then women will definitely try to stay away from you.


You're right about one thing, I am unique, I mean there is nobody else on the planet as retarded as I am. I cant change the way I look unlesd I have plastic surgery and like I said being nice doesn't get me anywhere so im just nasty all the time because then people tend to leave me alone.


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## Sacrieur

Amphoteric said:


> Yes, I would prefer a virgin.


It's true, she sacrifices them :|


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## LoungeFly

Don't really have a preference. Either would be just fine as long as I was into him.


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## Amphoteric

Sacrieur said:


> It's true, she sacrifices them :|


Nothing wrong with having found the source for eternal life and youth.


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## nster

I personally don't see experience as an indication of someone being good in bed or anything. I'm still a virgin and been only with one girl, but even though we were inexperienced we clicked right away and with some communication everything under the covers was fantastic. I think compatibility and communication and being ready has much more to do with how well you do in bed and I don't see why virginity has to be relevant until you guys are comfortable enough that if that is a problem for the girl at that point, she's just being shallow and she either gets over it or she isn't worth your time

I think until 23-25 it can still be cute after that I'd wait before ever bringing it up. 

After that for more casual encounters... well it's a different story.


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## Enoxyla

depends. it's good when they're somewhat experienced doe


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## TheDarkGuardian

Rich91 said:


> Of course not many of the women here would care. As soon as they lose it though they would care.
> 
> *once you reach your 20's without having sex it will never happen. It gives off a weird vibe.* Dont anybody tell me im ****ing wrong either. Some people here live in a dream world if they think it doesn't matter. I've even witnessed a few posts here from people saying they wouldn't date a virgin.


Yeah cos when you think of yourself in that light you give off that vibe that puts people off.


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## Sacrieur

Amphoteric said:


> Nothing wrong with having found the source for eternal life and youth.


This forum does have a high concentration of virgins :teeth


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## eveningbat

To me it would be better to deal with a virgin perhaps because I am also one. But it doesn't really matter that much.


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## probably offline

Some people have a natural talent for sex just like some people have a natural talent for dancing. They don't need as much practice. It's mostly about eagerness to learn and having a genuine interest in making the other person have a good time(selfish and lazy people are usually bad lovers). Having a lot of sex doesn't necessarily make you better at it.

I've never had sex with a virgin, but it wouldn't be some kind of dealbreaker for me. Definitely not. But, I'll admit that I might become a bit more suspicious if the guy was around my age. "Why is he still a virgin?" It would just raise more questions.

I would find the virginity, _in itself_, more appealing if he was young. Just trying to be honest(disregarding personality and everything else). I'm quite attracted to the idea of "teaching" someone innocent(in theory).


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## likeaspacemonkey

Mr Bacon said:


> No, I'm not saying that it is impossible to lose your virginity past a certain age. I'm simply saying that the older one gets, the more red flags are going to be associated with one's virginity.
> 
> I wouldn't know where to place the line exactly. Many seem to say that past 25, it starts raising questions.
> 
> Still, if I were a virgin when I was 20 I most likely wouldn't advertize it to everyone. I would stick to something along the lines of "_I don't have that much experience under the bed covers and have been down on my luck in the dating department lately._" That's just me.


What Bacon said. You're expected to lose your virginity in your teenage years, at least before you're 20. You can push it till your early 20s but that's already a bit weird. I think bringing up being a virgin in your 20s or later would raise some of those red flags. Of course nothing is catastrophic, if a chick's into you she won't make a big deal out of it, but she'll find it weird and possibly (but not necessarily) a turnoff. But again, if a chick's into you, she's into you.


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## jlscho03

Seeing as I am one, I would also highly prefer the guy to be a virgin as well.
But, considering my age and all that, I feel that it would be a lot harder to find a guy as inexperienced as I am, so I might have to settle with, 'As long as he's accepting of me.' 
I'm afraid of anyone being surprised by my virginity.

If I weren't a virgin, I don't think I would care either way.


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## DisneyMisfit

A guy's attitude about sex is more important to me than whether or not he is a virgin, but I do like it when a guy is one, cause it's just kinda special knowing you're someone's first.


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## ravens

likeaspacemonkey said:


> What Bacon said. You're expected to lose your virginity in your teenage years, at least before you're 20. You can push it till your early 20s but that's already a bit weird. I think bringing up being a virgin in your 20s or later would raise some of those red flags. Of course nothing is catastrophic, if a chick's into you she won't make a big deal out of it, but she'll find it weird and possibly (but not necessarily) a turnoff. But again, if a chick's into you, she's into you.


That's why I would probably just say I lost it years ago but don't have that much experience. It would look too weird to say that I'm a virgin at 43.


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## Alone75

I like to observe a woman's actions rather than what she says, most actually do mind a virgin guy. Especially one my age, I am not even on most women's radar, even when I try and get dates. It's my fault in some ways for letting undiagnosed SA and other things mess up my chances earlier in life, but not all the blame is mine now.


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## hughjames95

I've got about a year and half before i'm 20, Need to lose my v card before then or i'm f**ked.


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## dal user

TheDarkGuardian said:


> Yeah cos when you think of yourself in that light you give off that vibe that puts people off.


How else should I think of myself?

Should I think of myself as being a guy who has a good personality, is good looking and will go far in life yeah? Would that draw people to me?

Of course thinking highly of myself is a must init, even though im the thickest, pig ugliest gaunt looking c*n* alive I still must think of myself highly.


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## JimmyDread

The vast majority of women see a man past twenty who's still a virgin as creepy/weird. Unless they're also a virgin, and even a lot of them will find it weird too.

[/Thread]


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## TreborHG9

JimmyDread said:


> The vast majority of women see a man past twenty who's still a virgin as creepy/weird. Unless they're also a virgin, and even a lot of them will find it weird too.
> 
> [/Thread]


Good lord what happened to society


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## Alas Babylon

JimmyDread said:


> The vast majority of women see a man past twenty who's still a virgin as creepy/weird. Unless they're also a virgin, and even a lot of them will find it weird too.
> 
> [/Thread]


_This_ is your first post?


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## nster

I think attitude towards your own viginity has something to do how the person takes it as well


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## inerameia

Probably thought of as weird to most girls. I told a girl I never kissed and she didn't believe me at first. I think she enjoyed it though (the kiss). Anyway, we were gonna have sex but I panicked and left her house instead. I regret it to this day.

I'm not a girl though so I don't know what they think of virgins. Probably varies.


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## nothing else

Rich91 said:


> Of course not many of the women here would care. As soon as they lose it though they would care.
> 
> once you reach your 20's without having sex it will never happen. It gives off a weird vibe. Dont anybody tell me im ****ing wrong either. Some people here live in a dream world if they think it doesn't matter. I've even witnessed a few posts here from people saying they wouldn't date a virgin.
> 
> Do a survey out in the real world and I'll bet my life on it that all the answers given will be NO.
> 
> Look at it this way, why would any self respecting outgoing woman date a man who's awkward as **** and has never had sex before?
> 
> Its ****ing laughable that some people here discrddit my statements all the time. Its always the same people as well. Its cos I speak the ****ing truth and thats that. At the end of the day I know im right, thats why I get so many responses cos some people dont like the truth.


Tell that to a church full of Christian women. I know many who would rather you be a virgin and these women are in their late 20's....


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## Persephone The Dread

Alas Babylon said:


> _This_ is your first post?


This forum now attracts more people who want to talk about physical appearence and issues they've had with dating, than peopke suffering from SA. When you think about it, it makes sense because of the large number of posts on those subjects. In about a year this forum will just be a slightly more anxious version of the bodybuilding forum :lol then I will officially have no reason to stay I guess.


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## TreborHG9

Peregrínus said:


> Probably thought of as weird to most girls. I told a girl I never kissed and she didn't believe me at first. I think she enjoyed it though (the kiss). Anyway, we were gonna have sex but I panicked and left her house instead. I regret it to this day.
> 
> I'm not a girl though so I don't know what they think of virgins. Probably varies.


LOL  I'm sorry but it's a bit funny. You were about to have sex and you walked out and left? Damn lol. Not blaming you, I would have probably done the same thing


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## JimmyDread

Alas Babylon said:


> _This_ is your first post?


What should my first post be, pray tell? Should I introduce myself and lay out all of my problems? That would make me too self-conscious.



Persephone The Dread said:


> This forum now attracts more people who want to talk about physical appearence and issues they've had with dating, than peopke suffering from SA.


You caught me, I don't have SA. I'd better go tell my therapist I've been lying to him for the past 7 years.


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## LoungeFly

Rich91 said:


> Of course not many of the women here would care. As soon as they lose it though they would care.
> 
> once you reach your 20's without having sex it will never happen. It gives off a weird vibe. Dont anybody tell me im ****ing wrong either. Some people here live in a dream world if they think it doesn't matter. I've even witnessed a few posts here from people saying they wouldn't date a virgin.
> 
> Do a survey out in the real world and I'll bet my life on it that all the answers given will be NO.
> 
> Look at it this way, why would any self respecting outgoing woman date a man who's awkward as **** and has never had sex before?
> 
> Its ****ing laughable that some people here discrddit my statements all the time. Its always the same people as well. Its cos I speak the ****ing truth and thats that. At the end of the day I know im right, thats why I get so many responses cos some people dont like the truth.


You're wrong. I've known many people who lost their virginity later in life. And I know plenty of people who would sleep with someone who has never had sex before.


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## mooncake

Wouldn't bother me at all. If I'm honest I'd prefer to be with someone less experienced, purely for the selfish reason that I'd feel a little better knowing that there'd be no one he could compare me to. Can't understand why there'd be an issue with sleeping with a virgin; so what if it ended up being a bit awkward or less than amazing at first. It'd be fun to practice together! If you like someone, you like someone. Finding out that they've never had sex before couldn't change my feelings toward them.


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## TreborHG9

JimmyDread said:


> You caught me, I don't have SA. I'd better go tell my therapist I've been lying to him for the past 7 years.


LOL


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## Persephone The Dread

JimmyDread said:


> What should my first post be, pray tell? Should I introduce myself and lay out all of my problems? That would make me too self-conscious.
> 
> You caught me, I don't have SA. I'd better go tell my therapist I've been lying to him for the past 7 years.


I was not specifically talking about you but in general. It wouldn't be surprising if you didn't have SA given what most people seem to come here to post about recently (and then often disappear completely not long after..)


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## dal user

nothing else said:


> Tell that to a church full of Christian women. I know many who would rather you be a virgin and these women are in their late 20's....


I couldn't get with a religious girl though.


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## dal user

LoungeFly said:


> You're wrong. I've known many people who lost their virginity later in life. And I know plenty of people who would sleep with someone who has never had sex before.


Yeah maybe cos they've met someone who's quite reserved and shy?

Are these people you know shy?

Its very weird though because people might think the person has some sort of disease or something. I need to take a chill pill for now, its grinding me down all this arguing and I get very stressed when people disregard everything I say.


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## meepie

I don't care, and I'm not even religious.


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## cuppy

Yeah, I don't care either.


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## mind0vermatter

The more sex you have the more you'll be able to give and receive sexually with a partner. It'll be more fruitful for both of you. 
I'd think that only inexperienced women would want virgins but I guess if they really like the guy, it doenst matter as much.


----------



## dal user

Like I said in one of my previous posts

do a survey offline and I can bet a grand all the answers will be *NO*


----------



## riderless

See guys! Women almost prefer virgins. I too, was brainwashed to think I needed experience to take to a relationship.


----------



## mooncake

Rich91 said:


> Like I said in one of my previous posts
> 
> do a survey offline and I can bet a grand all the answers will be NO


By that logic, then, no guy would ever be able to lose his virginity. Clearly there's something amiss with your definition.


----------



## CheekyBunny

It would be preferable that he were experienced simply because I'm not big on the whole 'teaching' thing, but ultimately I'm really bothered by it.


----------



## Conquer Fear

DeeperUnderstanding said:


> Please clarify this statement. Do you mean that guys who are a certain age can't lose their virginity? Or do you mean that, depending on your age as a virgin, you should look for different things (as in, if you are an older virgin, you should look for women who are more experienced and maybe single mothers?)
> 
> If you're trying to say that older virgins (past 25 and into their 30s and 40s) can't lose their virginity, I find that ludacris. Lisa Kudrow was 32 when she lost hers. That Tim Tebow dude is close to 30 and still a virgin.


I agree with you on the rest, but as far as Lisa Kudrow, she strikes me as just asexual... as for Tim Tebow, despite how macho he looks, I am convinced he is gay from what I have read online... I know he is super-religious, but still.


----------



## twinkies

Doesn't matter.


----------



## dal user

mooncake said:


> By that logic, then, no guy would ever be able to lose his virginity. Clearly there's something amiss with your definition.


Not really no, read the post I've quoted below. Even girls with social anxiety dont wanna know.



CheekyBunny said:


> It would be preferable that he were experienced simply because I'm not big on the whole 'teaching' thing, but ultimately I'm really bothered by it.


And this is why everything I say is right


----------



## Amorphousanomaly

Most of the guys I've been with have been virgins, not that I'm trying to seek them out or anything. Liking quiet, nerdy types makes that how it is, I guess. Having no or little experience would be less weird than having a ton of experience.


----------



## Nomad64

Of course they prefer to be with a man who knows what he's doing and can take control sexually. However, if she's a virgin herself she will feel a lot less self conscious with a guy who's a virgin too.


----------



## x Faceless x

I am waiting until marriage to have sex, so I personally would prefer a guy to be a virgin.


----------



## Classified

For any girls that prefer it and are ones themselves, I'm right here.


----------



## mooncake

Rich91 said:


> Not really no, read the post I've quoted below. Even girls with social anxiety dont wanna know.
> 
> And this is why everything I say is right


But you can't just select the posts that conform to your idea of what's a fact and pretend different viewpoints don't exist (even though that post you quoted even ends with the opinion that it ultimately doesn't really matter). You've totally ignored my post, which stated that a less experienced male would be more preferable to me.


----------



## dal user

mooncake said:


> But you can't just select the posts that conform to your idea of what's a fact and pretend different viewpoints don't exist (even though that post you quoted even ends with the opinion that it ultimately doesn't really matter). You've totally ignored my post, which stated that a less experienced male would be more preferable to me.


Yes to you it doesn't matter but the majority of women would rather be single their whole life than date a virgin.


----------



## CheekyBunny

Rich91 said:


> Not really no, read the post I've quoted below. Even girls with social anxiety dont wanna know.
> 
> And this is why everything I say is right


Yeah, completely ignore the fact that the majority of girls in this thread said they either wouldn't care or that they'd prefer a virgin lol.


----------



## dal user

CheekyBunny said:


> Yeah, completely ignore the fact that the majority of girls in this thread said they either wouldn't care or that they'd prefer a virgin lol.


Well of course they wouldn't but thats because most of the girls here I pressume are quite shy and introverted. There aren't many girls out in the real world who would respond to it very well.


----------



## TreborHG9

Rich91 said:


> Well of course they wouldn't but thats because most of the girls here I pressume are quite shy and introverted. There aren't many girls out in the real world who would respond to it very well.


Dude you have to try. How do you know this if you haven't tried.


----------



## dal user

TreborHG9 said:


> Dude you have to try. How do you know this if you haven't tried.


Im pig ugly, awkward as ****, thick as ****, so what chance do I stand?

Girls just turn their nose up at me because of how bad I look. Hows a girl gonna introduce a retard like me to her family and friends?

It would shatter any girls image being with a pig ugly thick cu** like me.


----------



## TreborHG9

Rich91 said:


> Im pig ugly, awkward as ****, thick as ****, so what chance do I stand?
> 
> Girls just turn their nose up at me because of how bad I look. Hows a girl gonna introduce a retard like me to her family and friends?
> 
> It would shatter any girls image being with a pig ugly thick cu** like me.


Let me see your pic and I will find something beautiful in you. When we look at ourselves in the mirror we usually believe that we are not beautiful since we swallow all the stuff given to us in media and magazines of what pretty is suppose to be. Trust me, there are people that had accidents on their face and they are still able to find someone that will love them. If you can't win a person by your looks, try to win them over with your knowledge and pleasant personality


----------



## tbyrfan

This "everyone is beautiful" stuff is the biggest load of BS I've ever heard.


----------



## dal user

TreborHG9 said:


> Let me see your pic and I will find something beautiful in you. When we look at ourselves in the mirror we usually believe that we are not beautiful since we swallow all the stuff given to us in media and magazines of what pretty is suppose to be. Trust me, there are people that had accidents on their face and they are still able to find someone that will love them. If you can't win a person by your looks, try to win them over with your knowledge and pleasant personality


im not posting my photo. End of. It would do me no good anyway because people will just make up **** like saying im good looking when its clearly not true. If anybody thinks im good looking then they need a really good pair of glasses and have really bad taste.

at the end of the day personality does not win over looks. I dont have any knowledge or personality anyway but even if I did it wouldn't get me anywhere in the dating world.

Its a **** feeling when a few of my mates have girlfriends and I dont. Its because im a pig ugly ****ing retard with the confidence of a squirrel.


tbyrfan said:


> This "everyone is beautiful" stuff is the biggest load of BS I've ever heard.


Haha I know, tell me about it.


----------



## Mmmm

Rich91 said:


> *I dont have any knowledge or personality anyway
> *


Isn't that the truth.


----------



## gunner21

tbyrfan said:


> This "everyone is beautiful" stuff is the biggest load of BS I've ever heard.


Not to say you're ugly or anything, but if there were no ugly people, good looking people wouldn't exist.


----------



## dal user

Mmmm said:


> Isn't that the truth.


Glad someone finally agrees with me.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

tbyrfan said:


> This "everyone is beautiful" stuff is the biggest load of BS I've ever heard.


I think beauty's subjective.



Rich91 said:


> im not posting my photo. End of. It would do me no good anyway because people will just make up **** like saying im good looking when its clearly not true. If anybody thinks im good looking then they need a really good pair of glasses and have really bad taste.
> 
> at the end of the day personality does not win over looks. I dont have any knowledge or personality anyway but even if I did it wouldn't get me anywhere in the dating world.
> 
> Its a **** feeling when a few of my mates have girlfriends and I dont. Its because im a pig ugly ****ing retard with the confidence of a squirrel.


OKay, so you say you are ugly. And you say you lack confidence. And you say it hurts you when your mates have girlfriends.

Do you want a resolve?

It's time to stop hitting yourself with a metaphorical baseball bat and look for solutions to your problems. The only thing neccessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. You want that evil to triumph over your life? Or are you going to become a good man and do something? Yeah, genetics may give your friends looks and confidence but when someone fights through the worst to rise to become the best is one of the most respectable features for a human being EVER.


----------



## dal user

TheDarkGuardian said:


> I think beauty's subjective.
> 
> OKay, so you say you are ugly. And you say you lack confidence. And you say it hurts you when your mates have girlfriends.
> 
> Do you want a resolve?
> 
> It's time to stop hitting yourself with a metaphorical baseball bat and look for solutions to your problems. The only thing neccessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. You want that evil to triumph over your life? Or are you going to become a good man and do something? Yeah, genetics may give your friends looks and confidence but when someone fights through the worst to rise to become the best is one of the most respectable features for a human being EVER.


Do something like what?

I dont think women would give a **** if im a respectable human, they'd only care about what I look like and unforunately I look disgusting and grotesque so yeah any woman on earth wouldn't date me even if I did become a respectable guy, I'd just be a filthy looking dog ugly thick respectable guy so I still wouldn't stand a chance. I've got more chances of dieing than I have ever getting a woman. FACT.


----------



## probably offline

Why are you guys even bothering? He doesn't want help.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

probably offline said:


> Why are you guys even bothering? He doesn't want help.


Batman had to give it a shot. :stu

Ah well, if he's so certain he'll never be loved then I guess that's that. He obviously doesn't want a resolve and just wallow in his own pity instead.


----------



## Ineko

probably offline said:


> Why are you guys even bothering? He doesn't want help.


also the thread went wayy off topic

To answer the question of said thread, Personally sex yes please *hands out ready to receive* seriously anyone get any class to not kiss and tell and be clean is all I need lol.

*side note* To the gent that thinks poorly of himself, put yourself in my shoes, I'm not a "attractive" person by any means to most males, so it works both ways. Women have problems getting boyfriends/lovers the same as you. 
Confidence is sexier than any pin up model.
*drops mic*


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

Ineko said:


> *side note* To the gent that thinks poorly of himself, put yourself in my shoes, I'm not a "attractive" person by any means to most males, so it works both ways. Women have problems getting boyfriends/lovers the same as you.
> Confidence is sexier than any pin up model.
> *drops mic*


:nw ^what the dudette said


----------



## dal user

probably offline said:


> Why are you guys even bothering? He doesn't want help.


im unhelpable. Nobody can change my views and first hand encounters of getting verbal abuse over the way I look. I only repeat what people have said about me.



Ineko said:


> also the thread went wayy off topic
> 
> To answer the question of said thread, Personally sex yes please *hands out ready to receive* seriously anyone get any class to not kiss and tell and be clean is all I need lol.
> 
> *side note* To the gent that thinks poorly of himself, put yourself in my shoes, I'm not a "attractive" person by any means to most males, so it works both ways. Women have problems getting boyfriends/lovers the same as you.
> Confidence is sexier than any pin up model.
> *drops mic*


yeah but I'll never get a girlfriend now because im 22 and have never had a relationship so what chance do I stand now?


----------



## dal user

TheDarkGuardian said:


> Batman had to give it a shot. :stu
> 
> Ah well, if he's so certain he'll never be loved then I guess that's that. He obviously doesn't want a resolve and just wallow in his own pity instead.


Its not that I dont want to resolve things its just its impossible

I have no social status, I only have very few friends too and I dont have a good enough job. All those are also gonna stop me enjoying life and getting to know women.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

Rich91 said:


> Its not that I dont want to resolve things its just its impossible
> 
> I have no social status, I only have very few friends too and I dont have a good enough job. All those are also gonna stop me enjoying life and getting to know women.


What's going to happen if I say that you're not in an impossible situation?


----------



## tbyrfan

Rich91 said:


> im unhelpable. Nobody can change my views and first hand encounters of getting verbal abuse over the way I look. I only repeat what people have said about me.


This 100%.


----------



## dal user

TheDarkGuardian said:


> What's going to happen if I say that you're not in an impossible situation?


I honestly dont know


----------



## tea111red

It's not that big of a deal if a guy is inexperienced. The positive w/ it is that you don't have to have any mental image of them w/ someone else or hear about any past experiences. Also, you know at least they are "clean."


----------



## TenYears

Ineko said:


> I'm not a "attractive" person by any means to most males, so it works both ways.


Uhmmm, yes, yes you are. Quit beating yourself up. And I wish you would post another pic :b


----------



## LoneCat

I would _only_ date guys who are virgins


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

From my experience, younger women do. So if you're in your 30's, you'd be best off dating someone who is ten years younger.


----------



## Pompeii

I honestly couldn't care less as to a man's experience or lack thereof regardless of his age.


----------



## Jib

This is all I have to say:


----------



## Paper Samurai

Jib said:


> This is all I have to say:


Fight da Powaa !:boogie


----------



## Milco

tbyrfan said:


> This "everyone is beautiful" stuff is the biggest load of BS I've ever heard.


_ "You don't know you're beautiful, but that's what makes you beautiful!" _ :flush

I'm not a girl, but for me, whether or not another person is a virgin is about as important as whether they were born on a Tuesday.


----------



## tbyrfan

Milco said:


> _ "You don't know you're beautiful, but that's what makes you beautiful!" _ :flush


You don't know you're wrong, and that's what makes you wrong.


----------



## Milco

tbyrfan said:


> You don't know you're wrong, and that's what makes you wrong.


You don't know you passed the test, and that's what made you pass the test!

[spoiler= ]



[/spoiler]


----------



## Gio1

Yeah attractive for sure ..I once I heard this girl say this once " I hate the way girls call themselves bad *****es and that a guy can't feel like a man until he's slept with 12 of them "

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


----------



## r77115

I'm older and I prefer guys who haven't slept around.


----------



## dal user

At the end of the day though it is a big turnoff for most women.

Besides I doubt anybody could lose it once they are in their 20's, maybe a guy whos handsome could but an ugly guy couldn't. Its just the way the cookie crumbles.


----------



## r77115

Rich91 said:


> At the end of the day though it is a big turnoff for most women.
> 
> Besides I doubt anybody could lose it once they are in their 20's, maybe a guy whos handsome could but an ugly guy couldn't. Its just the way the cookie crumbles.


This is a false assumption.

I am a female. I am much more worried about a guy's personality and character. The rest can be worked on.


----------



## dal user

r77115 said:


> This is a false assumption.
> 
> I am a female. I am much more worried about a guy's personality and character. The rest can be worked on.


Yes thats you though init. Thats your preference. A lot of girls just want a bad boy player whos been with tonnes of girls.

the fact the majority of girls want the same thing and have the same taste in men. I mean why would any girl want to be in the company of a guy whos never had a girlfriend or any experience with girls before?

it just means a guy is undesirable and not attractive to women.


----------



## elitebutterfly

I've always told my friends, much to their surprise, that I'd rather date someone who was as inexperienced as I am (very), just because I think we'll both be reaching relationship, sexual and emotional milestones together...and we can both be completely understanding of eachother and awkward together. In saying that though a guy with some experience isn't bad too, but I feel like it would intimidate me if he were too pro at it.


----------



## r77115

Rich91 said:


> Yes thats you though init. Thats your preference. A lot of girls just want a bad boy player whos been with tonnes of girls.
> 
> the fact the majority of girls want the same thing and have the same taste in men. I mean why would any girl want to be in the company of a guy whos never had a girlfriend or any experience with girls before?
> 
> it just means a guy is undesirable and not attractive to women.


I think on the surface women like the "psychological games" bad boys play with them, but deep down most want a sensitive guy who cares about them on a deeper level.

So just be a nice guy with game. And don't use game (not necessarily implying that you would) just to get sex from someone. Women are pretty keenly aware when someone is just trying to get something from them.


----------



## nothing else

I'm sure it's weird. It sets off a lot of red flags.


----------



## r77115

If I were a guy and a chick was more interested in my sexual experience versus me as a whole, doesn't that tell you something? This is not the kind of chick you want to get interested in, or if you are just wanting her just for sex, she's going to be the type who will laugh in your face if everything isn't up to par or doesn't work out right.


----------



## r77115

Try to educate yourself online somewhat about what women like sexually... that will help. If they like you enough in every other respect, they'll be understanding and work with you.


----------



## ElectricWizard

If you are a virgin then the best thing is not to tell anyone. fake it and act like you had some action in the past. If you do meet a girl and do the deed for the first time then tell her after if you want but not before.


----------



## Mochyn

ElectricWizard said:


> If you are a virgin then the best thing is not to tell anyone. fake it and act like you had some action in the past. If you do meet a girl and do the deed for the first time then tell her after if you want but not before.


Typical guy response.

I don't think that's something you can fake experience in convincingly, if you want the experience to be good (because you always remember your first unfortunately :roll) then the other person needs to know it's your first time otherwise you'd just be flopping around like a fish out of water and there wouldn't be a second time :no


----------



## ElectricWizard

Mochyn said:


> Typical guy response.
> 
> I don't think that's something you can fake experience in convincingly, if you want the experience to be good (because you always remember your first unfortunately :roll) then the other person needs to know it's your first time otherwise you'd just be flopping around like a fish out of water and there wouldn't be a second time :no


Sex is not rocket science. My first time alcohol played a part and I was the one who was taken advantage of  When I seen her the day after she put her hands out like she wanted me to run over and give her a hug! I felt really bad for not doing so. I don't have a problem pulling women when i've had a drink but I don't do much socializing these days.


----------



## r77115

Even if a guy doesn't have experience, I think he should try to read and educate himself about how women think and about female sexuality. The experience factor is not a turn off for me, but a guy who is not even curious enough to pick up a book to learn about how women think, etc., definitely is.


----------



## ElectricWizard

No book, no sex!


----------



## r77115

ElectricWizard said:


> No book, no sex!


 Well, obviously not you are not going to find a one size fits all book, but read some stuff on female psychology, sexuality, etc. Like don't watch porn and try to learn about women. Porn is designed for men in mind but will teach you nothing about women.

Sexual experience or no sexual experience, it does take a little while to learn someone and what they like. No guy, regardless of sexual experience, is going to get it exactly right the first time with a new partner. Guys are too hard on themselves in this respect. If she likes you as a whole, she'll be patient and you'll learn each other as you go.

If a chick ditches you over a sexual mishap or bad first time sexual experience, she didn't like you much as a person in the first place and may even use that as an excuse to ditch you.


----------



## RedViperofDorne

Rich91 said:


> Of course not many of the women here would care. As soon as they lose it though they would care.
> 
> once you reach your 20's without having sex it will never happen. It gives off a weird vibe. Dont anybody tell me im ****ing wrong either. Some people here live in a dream world if they think it doesn't matter. I've even witnessed a few posts here from people saying they wouldn't date a virgin.
> 
> Do a survey out in the real world and I'll bet my life on it that all the answers given will be NO.
> 
> Look at it this way, why would any self respecting outgoing woman date a man who's awkward as **** and has never had sex before?
> 
> Its ****ing laughable that some people here discrddit my statements all the time. Its always the same people as well. Its cos I speak the ****ing truth and thats that. At the end of the day I know im right, thats why I get so many responses cos some people dont like the truth.


That's true. I'd say that if you are a guy who is still a virgin in his 20s you basically have 2 options left. Lose it to a prostitute or wind up dying as a virgin.


----------



## ElectricWizard

r77115 said:


> Well, obviously not you are not going to find a one size fits all book, but read some stuff on female psychology, sexuality, etc. Like don't watch porn and try to learn about women. Porn is designed for men in mind but will teach you nothing about women.
> 
> Sexual experience or no sexual experience, it does take a little while to learn someone and what they like. No guy, regardless of sexual experience, is going to get it exactly right the first time with a new partner. Guys are too hard on themselves in this respect. If she likes you as a whole, she'll be patient and you'll learn each other as you go.
> 
> If a chick ditches you over a sexual mishap or bad first time sexual experience, she didn't like you much as a person in the first place and may even use that as an excuse to ditch you.


True, porn is cold. Good sex involves passion, foreplay, fun and lots of friction :lol Been kinky is another great addition! If you can't joke and have fun with the person during a conversation then you know you won't be having much fun in the bedroom! A good sense of humor is a must


----------



## r77115

Rich91 said:


> Im pig ugly, awkward as ****, thick as ****, so what chance do I stand?
> 
> Girls just turn their nose up at me because of how bad I look. Hows a girl gonna introduce a retard like me to her family and friends?
> 
> It would shatter any girls image being with a pig ugly thick cu** like me.


Develop an awesome personality... chicks are not as hard on guys about their looks. Your personality can go a long way. Guys don't have to sweat their looks near as much when it comes to the opposite sex.

Read some of David Deangelo's stuff. http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ It is effective. Just don't use it in the wrong way or to damage people.


----------



## ElectricWizard

RedViperofDorne said:


> That's true. I'd say that if you are a guy who is still a virgin in his 20s you basically have 2 options left. Lose it to a prostitute or wind up dying as a virgin.


There is a third option! Get drunk and let some horny MILF take advantage of you. You won't remember much but the next day when you see her and she gives you a wink, then you can be sure it happened


----------



## r77115

ElectricWizard said:


> True, porn is cold. Good sex involves passion, foreplay, fun and lots of friction :lol Been kinky is another great addition! If you can't joke and have fun with the person during a conversation then you know you won't be having much fun in the bedroom! A good sense of humor is a must


You got it my friend 

It's different with us. We aren't really visual. It has more to do with what we hear and how you make us feel when you are around us. We are also keenly aware when guys are not genuine or just trying to get something from us. If you have done your emotional and psychological work, her body is automatically going to be more responsive sexually to you. If on the other hand you haven't, she's not going to respond well. If she ditches you over a bad sexual experience, chances are there a whole sum of other things she doesn't like about you.


----------



## Jesuszilla

ElectricWizard said:


> True, porn is cold. Good sex involves passion, foreplay, fun and lots of friction :lol Been kinky is another great addition! If you can't joke and have fun with the person during a conversation then you know you won't be having much fun in the bedroom! *A good sense of humor is a must *


I'm screwed I don't have much of a sense of humor and I'm not funny at all.


----------



## Jesuszilla

r77115 said:


> You got it my friend
> 
> It's different with us. We aren't really visual. It has more to do with what we hear and how you make us feel when you are around us. We are also keenly aware when guys are not genuine or just trying to get something from us. If you have done your emotional and psychological work, her body is automatically going to be more responsive sexually to you. If on the other hand you haven't, she's not going to respond well. If she ditches you over a bad sexual experience, chances are there a whole sum of other things she doesn't like about you.


As a bitter guy who's been rejected every single time no matter how hard I try, with SA (or the most likely case of me being a loser) that is much easier said than done. And trust me I don't do weird stuff, I'm not clingy, I don't use corny pick up lines or nothing weird. I just crazy low self esteem due to the rejection.


----------



## r77115

Jesuszilla said:


> As a bitter guy who's been rejected every single time no matter how hard I try, with SA (or the most likely case of me being a loser) that is much easier said than done. And trust me I don't do weird stuff, I'm not clingy, I don't use corny pick up lines or nothing weird. I just crazy low self esteem due to the rejection.


Personality is not set in stone. My personality has changed a lot over time. Taking a step back and working on self improvement is sometimes the best thing to do. If you aren't happy with yourself, trust me it can wreck havoc on relationships.

I don't know your situation... do you have a clue as to what it might be that you could be doing wrong?


----------



## Alone75

r77115 said:


> Develop an awesome personality... chicks are not as hard on guys about their looks. Your personality can go a long way. Guys don't have to sweat their looks near as much when it comes to the opposite sex.
> 
> Read some of David Deangelo's stuff. http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ It is effective. Just don't use it in the wrong way or to damage people.


What a load of crap, looks matter a lot to women as well as how successful the guy is in life. Also why are you touting the double your dating scam, if anyone is clueless it is you!


----------



## Jesuszilla

r77115 said:


> Personality is not set in stone. My personality has changed a lot over time. Taking a step back and working on self improvement is sometimes the best thing to do. If you aren't happy with yourself, trust me it can wreck havoc on relationships.
> 
> I don't know your situation... do you have a clue as to what it might be that you could be doing wrong?


Well I have had a girl tell me I was too shy, I had another girl insult me when she found out I never had a girlfriend, another girl told me women like men who f*** them good (which I am very inexperienced). And I'm always told to either fake confidence or be a man. Which given how much I put myself out there, I don't think me being a man is the problem.

In short I can't pin point what I do wrong since I don't record myself in such situations. All I know is that women don't find me attractive or worthy to date.

I have been alone every day of my life. Never had friends or a girlfriend and my family always makes excuses when I want to hang out with them. So I will never be happy with myself since life has taught me in 23 years I've been alive that I can't connect with people. Self improvement has been irrelevant to my happiness. I lost weight (still losing more), bought new clothes, keep a decent hair cut, keep a clean cut shave, worked crazy hard on my anxiety and I'm still lonely as hell. So until I get a girlfriend I will never be happy.


----------



## r77115

ZeroPoint said:


> What a load of crap, looks matter a lot to women as well as how successful the guy is in life. Also why are you touting the double your dating scam, if anyone is clueless it is you!


Success does matter, but depending on the female, some have higher expectations than others. I didn't say looks didn't matter at all, just that usually women don't put as much emphasis on them as men.

Off the top of my head I can think of several good-looking female friends who have married some rather homely guys.


----------



## r77115

Jesuszilla said:


> Well I have had a girl tell me I was too shy, I had another girl insult me when she found out I never had a girlfriend, another girl told me women like men who f*** them good (which I am very inexperienced). And I'm always told to either fake confidence or be a man. Which given how much I put myself out there, I don't think me being a man is the problem.
> 
> In short I can't pin point what I do wrong since I don't record myself in such situations. All I know is that women don't find me attractive or worthy to date.
> 
> I have been alone every day of my life. Never had friends or a girlfriend and my family always makes excuses when I want to hang out with them. So I will never be happy with myself since life has taught me in 23 years I've been alive that I can't connect with people. Self improvement has been irrelevant to my happiness. I lost weight (still losing more), bought new clothes, keep a decent hair cut, keep a clean cut shave, worked crazy hard on my anxiety and I'm still lonely as hell. So until I get a girlfriend I will never be happy.


You are only 23, so you have plenty of time. Don't give up  What kind of chicks are you going after? If a chick has had a lot of sexual partners, she's going to expect more. Try to get the ones who aren't as wild so they won't expect as much or won't have as many to compare you with.

Also, it is right in saying you do have to fake confidence even if you aren't feeling it (I keep up a front even if it's not exactly what I am always feeling at the time.) Don't come onto them at first (maybe you don't at all, idk), but put them in the friend zone, and then pretend you have like a chick that texts you all the time. Idk, that will help get their attention and curiosity up if they are interested. You have to play games like this. Yeah, it's a lot of work, but it often works.

I went out with a guy once who had SA. He never came onto me, and I was so perplexed by it. I was expecting it, because usually that's what guys do do it, but this one didn't. I don't know if he was using reverse psychology on me or was just being himself, but I came onto him like Big time, which I Never Ever do with any guy. I think he used some kind David DeAngelo reverse psychology on me, because he was just an average-looking, kind of nerdy guy.


----------



## r77115

ZeroPoint said:


> What a load of crap, looks matter a lot to women as well as how successful the guy is in life. Also why are you touting the double your dating scam, if anyone is clueless it is you!


I wasn't trying to sell you anything. I went out with a guy who had SA and who I think was using some of DeAngelo's techniques on me, and it worked initially. We just could never get along so ended up breaking it off.


----------



## Jesuszilla

r77115 said:


> You are only 23, so you have plenty of time. Don't give up  What kind of chicks are you going after? If a chick has had a lot of sexual partners, she's going to expect more. Try to get the ones who aren't as wild so they won't expect as much or won't have as many to compare you with.


How would I know if a girl had a lot of sex partners? It's not like people ask this. Also I have tried to meet shy or introverted girls and their body language usually makes it hard to approach. There are plenty of girls who haven't slept with many men and still wouldn't want a guy like me. My only option is to keep trying out of blind faith.



> Also, it is right in saying you do have to fake confidence even if you aren't feeling it (I keep up a front even if it's not exactly what I am always feeling at the time.) Don't come onto them at first (maybe you don't at all, idk), but put them in the friend zone, and then pretend you have like a chick that texts you all the time. Idk, that will help get their attention and curiosity up if they are interested. You have to play games like this. Yeah, it's a lot of work, but it often works.


What? This is a catch 22 for me. On one hand I need to be fake and play game to get a girl's attention on the other hand I want a girl to like me as a person. I hate those games but if it's the only way for a girl to like me then I must sell my soul to the devil so to speak and be what I'm not. Alsi I tried faking confidence when I first started dating and it never worked. Girls saw through the act.

Also you contradict yourself. You say women can see through a guy putting on a show to get women and yet I should still fake confidence. I'm starting to think you're BSing me.

Anyway you are another woman who has turned me off even more to dating because you confirmed what I always thought but was often to "proud" (more like stupid) to follow. Dating is a game and the way to win is to scam some bimbo imto thinking II'm something I'm not and frankly have little desire to be.

This is why I don't befriend women I'm interested in. It's why I don't open up to women. It's why I think I must put on an act when I do go out and meet women it's because it's all true. Thank you for being honest at least.


----------



## Jesuszilla

I would kill to be the man women want. I know its always my fault these girls don't like me. If I were a real man everything would be alright and I'd be able to get a relationship. But no, I have to have social anxiety, I have to be this creepy nervous wreck around women and find new ways to turn them off to my ugly a**. Ugh, why can't I be desirable? Why can't I be good at dating? This f***ing sucks. I hate being alone, I hate masturbating and not having sex, I hate that I have to see real men both online and off be able to get a gitl that loves them. Fml.


----------



## eyes roll tears

dnt care about his past .... he is should me loyal for me instead of virgin......


----------



## dal user

Looks do matter to women. Why the hell this is so hard to get through to some people here I dont know. Personality and a good sense of humour will NOT win over a girl


----------



## Mr Bacon

Rich91 said:


> Looks do matter to women. Why the hell this is so hard to get through to some people here I dont know. *Personality and a good sense of humour will NOT win over a girl*


That's how my dad won over my fine a** mom


----------



## Shizuma

Jesuszilla said:


> If I were a *real man*


What do you mean by that ?


----------



## r77115

Rich91 said:


> Looks do matter to women. Why the hell this is so hard to get through to some people here I dont know. Personality and a good sense of humour will NOT win over a girl


Yeah, it does work.

I know a girl (I wouldn't say a friend, more like an acquaintance) who is very attractive (like a 9 or 10) who married this guy who is really, I hate to say, but really homely, has a large mole on his face, etc.


----------



## dal user

Mr Bacon said:


> That's how my dad won over my fine a** mom


But that was years ago. Things are different these days.


----------



## dal user

r77115 said:


> Yeah, it does work.
> 
> I know a girl (I wouldn't say a friend, more like an acquaintance) who is very attractive (like a 9 or 10) who married this guy who is really, I hate to say, but really homely, has a large mole on his face, etc.


*LOOKS ARE ALL THAT MATTER.*

NOTHING can compensate for looks, I mean NOTHING. Personality doesn't mean ****.

Anyway im not gonna argue with you anymore cos you wont believe me.


----------



## Ghostie

I think I would struggle with dating someone who wasn't a virgin because I am so insecure. I would constantly be thinking about the other people that they slept with. Plus, the idea of having one sexual partner forever is pretty cute to me.


----------



## Jesuszilla

Shizuma said:


> What do you mean by that ?


I don't feel like I'm man enough to attract women due to the vast amount of rejection.


----------



## Mr Bacon

Rich91 said:


> But that was years ago. Things are different these days.


hahahaha, nice theory Rich. 25 years ago, women were into personality. Two decades later, they have had the time to evolve into different creatures who crave looks.

That could make an interesting PhD thesis. :clap


----------



## dal user

Mr Bacon said:


> hahahaha, nice theory Rich. 25 years ago, women were into personality. Two decades later, they have had the time to evolve into different creatures who crave looks.
> 
> That could make an interesting PhD thesis. :clap


Things change over time bro

Deep down you know im right mate. Stick to your theory about how dressing nice and having a good personality will have the ladies swooning if it makes you happy. Fact is my theory is more realistic.

*LOOKS ARE ALL THAT MATTER*


----------



## Lazarusx

Rich91 said:


> Things change over time bro
> 
> Deep down you know im right mate. Stick to your theory about how dressing nice and having a good personality will have the ladies swooning if it makes you happy. Fact is my theory is more realistic.
> 
> *LOOKS ARE ALL THAT MATTER*


Looks will easily get you one night stands, maybe a casual friends with benefits dynamic for a while, but as you get older and unless you have really good game.. your social status, direction in life, career and money will take priority over looks.. especially if you want a relationship.

Looks do play a MAJOR role and are great for frequent hookups, but women will settle for an ugly man with direction in life, over a handsome man with no direction.

I lost two incredibly gorgeous women from my life, because i hadn't sorted my life out. Sucks.


----------



## r77115

Jesuszilla said:


> How would I know if a girl had a lot of sex partners? It's not like people ask this. Also I have tried to meet shy or introverted girls and their body language usually makes it hard to approach. There are plenty of girls who haven't slept with many men and still wouldn't want a guy like me. My only option is to keep trying out of blind faith.


No, but you should be able to get some type of idea the more you are around, talk, and learn about them.

Well, don't get your hopes up too much or hung up too much on any one chick. Talk to several of them, experiment, and see what works. It's an experiment, everyone has to learn and grow. Everyone one gets rejected at times, it's a part of life.

Also, don't be so hard on yourself. A negative attitude will only bring you down and make you feel worse and essentially cripple you. Be fair to yourself and embrace your positive attributes as well. Every time you think of something negative about yourself, remind yourself of something positive you have going for you.



> What? This is a catch 22 for me. On one hand I need to be fake and play game to get a girl's attention on the other hand I want a girl to like me as a person. I hate those games but if it's the only way for a girl to like me then I must sell my soul to the devil so to speak and be what I'm not. Alsi I tried faking confidence when I first started dating and it never worked. Girls saw through the act.


I'm not saying scam them or change your personality completely, rather just tweak it a little. You have to use a little psychology on them to at least get their attention and spark their interest or else they aren't even going to care about getting to know you as a person.



> Also you contradict yourself. You say women can see through a guy putting on a show to get women and yet I should still fake confidence. I'm starting to think you're BSing me.


No, I meant women are pretty keenly aware of when guys are just trying to get laid and aren't really interested in them.

Also, I am not in any way advocating gaming women just to sleep with them. I'm just saying if you want a girlfriend, you do have to use a little psychology to get and keep one.



> Anyway you are another woman who has turned me off even more to dating because you confirmed what I always thought but was often to "proud" (more like stupid) to follow. Dating is a game and the way to win is to scam some bimbo imto thinking II'm something I'm not and frankly have little desire to be


.

Well, thanks. I don't have all the answers. I was just trying to help 

Relationships, marriages, etc. are like anything else, they require work.



> This is why I don't befriend women I'm interested in. It's why I don't open up to women. It's why I think I must put on an act when I do go out and meet women it's because it's all true. Thank you for being honest at least.


 You have to act confident and happy with yourself and make it appear as if you are fine with life with or without them (you need to learn to be like this anyway, but even if you are not there yet, don't let them know it) Even if you are upset or freaking out, don't let them see you sweat. It gives them power over you.

None of it is black and white. It depends on the situation. If you have screwed up some situation, it doesn't mean it's impossible to recover. Like I said, it just depends on the situation...


----------



## tbyrfan

Mr Bacon said:


> That's how my dad won over my fine a** mom


"Fine *** mom"? Gross.


----------



## dal user

Lazarusx said:


> Looks will easily get you one night stands, maybe a casual friends with benefits dynamic for a while, but as you get older and unless you have really good game.. your social status, direction in life, career and money will take priority over looks.. especially if you want a relationship.
> 
> Looks do play a MAJOR role and are great for frequent hookups, but women will settle for an ugly man with direction in life, over a handsome man with no direction.
> 
> I lost two incredibly gorgeous women from my life, because i hadn't sorted my life out. Sucks.


I have no social status, direction in life, career or money, oh and im grotesque looking too so I think any woman would rather be hit by a train than be with me.


----------



## mb47

Virginity is like a blood type…it really does not affect mate selection.

(Until you have a baby and realize you should've screened for a negative Rh factor because you're f*ed.)

When guys make it into a big deal and it makes them awkward and stiff (no, not down there) to be around, that's a turn off.


----------



## ElectricWizard

mb47 said:


> When guys make it into a big deal and it makes them awkward and stiff (no, not down there) to be around, that's a turn off.


This is why I say older male virgins should make up some story like 'I was drunk when I first had sex and I don't remember much' That way you avoid the stigma of been a Virgin. Telling people you are a virgin will make people question why. They will think you have a tiny willy or that you are damaged goods and will avoid you.


----------



## Mr Bacon

tbyrfan said:


> "Fine *** mom"? Gross.


You're just jelly cause you're not as fine as my mama 8)



Rich91 said:


> Things change over time bro
> 
> Deep down you know im right mate. Stick to your theory about how dressing nice and having a good personality will have the ladies swooning if it makes you happy. Fact is my theory is more realistic.
> 
> *LOOKS ARE ALL THAT MATTER*


No.


----------



## tbyrfan

Mr Bacon said:


> You're just jelly cause you're not as fine as my mama 8)


Nice thing to say to someone who has serious issues with their looks.


----------



## adifferentkindofgirl

I would prefer a virgin because I'm only 17 and have 0 experience with dating so I wouldn't feel like he is way ahead of me. Once you're in your mid twenties though, I think it doesn't really matter.


----------



## Shizuma

Jesuszilla said:


> I don't feel like I'm man enough to attract women due to the vast amount of rejection.


A man "enough" ? Your feet are branches ? You have only half a penis ? :lol

Seriously. You are a person at first, I mean "acting like a man" or other PUA theories are completely bull****. Dunno what you are rejected, but I think that questionning if your are or not a man "enough" is a mistake.

Anyway, that is my personal opinion.


----------



## Jesuszilla

Shizuma said:


> A man "enough" ? Your feet are branches ? You have only half a penis ? :lol
> 
> Seriously. You are a person at first, I mean "acting like a man" or other PUA theories are completely bull****. Dunno what you are rejected, but I think that questionning if your are or not a man "enough" is a mistake.
> 
> Anyway, that is my personal opinion.


Why must you insult me?

It's not PUA stuff I never read that stuff and im a little insulted you assumed that of me its a combination of years of my mom telling me to man up all the time (she still does) and I've been rejected for not being man enough as well. Straight from the women mouths. So that must mean I am not man enough for women if they were so specific about it.


----------



## diamondheart89

Jesuszilla said:


> Why must you insult me?
> 
> It's not PUA stuff I never read that stuff and im a little insulted you assumed that of me its a combination of years of my mom telling me to man up all the time (she still does) and I've been rejected for not being man enough as well. Straight from the women mouths. So that must mean I am not man enough for women if they were so specific about it.


I hope this doesn't come across as offensive because it isn't meant to be, but are you black? I've noticed that a lot of AA people I've seen play into hyper-masculine culture. I'm not sure if it's just the people I know or if it's a larger trend, but even on the internet I see a lot of hate and division between black men and women - beyond the level of just regular internet arguments. Like there's some guy on youtube who makes videos exclusively hating on black women and at first I thought it was an anomaly, but then I stumbled across many different places where people were just hating against each other and telling each other why a) men weren't man enough and deadbeats or useless or whatever or b) women were __insert curse word here__

I was genuinely left speechless. Is this actually a thing? And if it is, it's no wonder that people feel bitter and cynical.


----------



## Mr Bacon

Shizuma said:


> A man "enough" ? Your feet are branches ? You have only half a penis ? :lol
> 
> Seriously. You are a person at first, I mean "acting like a man" or other PUA theories are completely bull****. Dunno what you are rejected, but I think that questionning if your are or not a man "enough" is a mistake.
> 
> Anyway, that is my personal opinion.


Many of us men on here are bound to question our worth as males. We all wish we could be courageous, fearless, emotionally strong, proactive and confident. Unfortunately SA leaves a huge mark on the way we behave, and it's hard to come to terms with it.

Look at relationship status polls on the forum. 90% of us SA men are single. No wonder we question our desirability in the eyes of the opposite gender.



Jesuszilla said:


> Why must you insult me?
> 
> It's not PUA stuff I never read that stuff and im a little insulted you assumed that of me its a combination of years of my mom telling me to man up all the time (she still does) and I've been rejected for not being man enough as well. Straight from the women mouths. So that must mean I am not man enough for women if they were so specific about it.


I don't think she was trying to insult you.


----------



## ElectricWizard

diamondheart89 said:


> I hope this doesn't come across as offensive because it isn't meant to be, but are you black? I've noticed that a lot of AA people I've seen play into hyper-masculine culture. I'm not sure if it's just the people I know or if it's a larger trend, but even on the internet I see a lot of hate and division between black men and women - beyond the level of just regular internet arguments. Like there's some guy on youtube who makes videos exclusively hating on black women and at first I thought it was an anomaly, but then I stumbled across many different places where people were just hating against each other and telling each other why a) men weren't man enough and deadbeats or useless or whatever or b) women were __insert curse word here__
> 
> I was genuinely left speechless. Is this actually a thing? And if it is, it's no wonder that people feel bitter and cynical.


It's funny because women are becoming more masculine and men more feminine these days. Some people don't even know if they are gay or straight. The trend now is to be bisexual. The sexes really are in a state of termoil. No wonder some people are messed up!


----------



## Shizuma

I never meant to insult or hurt anyone.



Mr Bacon said:


> Many of us men on here are bound to question our worth as males. We all wish we could be courageous, fearless, emotionally strong, proactive and confident. Unfortunately SA leaves a huge mark on the way we behave, and it's hard to come to terms with it.
> 
> Look at relationship status polls on the forum. 90% of us SA men are single. No wonder we question our desirability in the eyes of the opposite gender.


Yeah I get it. I think that society standards towards men, what society expects of men, is at first impossible and then I guess it hurts. Because apparently some men think they have to be, or to behave that way to be accepted, to be desirable and so on, and I think it's the society's fault. So my point is, I think it's better for men just to give up on this standards, I mean stop thinking there is one way to be a man, because it actually do more harm than good. But I know that it's not so simple.


----------



## Jesuszilla

diamondheart89 said:


> I hope this doesn't come across as offensive because it isn't meant to be, but are you black? I've noticed that a lot of AA people I've seen play into hyper-masculine culture. I'm not sure if it's just the people I know or if it's a larger trend, but even on the internet I see a lot of hate and division between black men and women - beyond the level of just regular internet arguments. Like there's some guy on youtube who makes videos exclusively hating on black women and at first I thought it was an anomaly, but then I stumbled across many different places where people were just hating against each other and telling each other why a) men weren't man enough and deadbeats or useless or whatever or b) women were __insert curse word here__
> 
> I was genuinely left speechless. Is this actually a thing? And if it is, it's no wonder that people feel bitter and cynical.


I'm mixed. Mr. Bacon summed up the manhood thing quite well. And ironically, the women who did turn me down for not being "man enough" were black. But I have had some really nice black women turn me down, so I don't think its a black thing.


----------



## Umpalumpa

It all comes out of trying to be accepted by other people, feeling different and thus being afraid, the amount of threads in this forums that ask:"I'm like this and like this, is it ok?" Is crazy, yes people, you are all human and you are okey
People make too big of a deal out of it.


----------



## LoungeFly

Rich91 said:


> *LOOKS ARE ALL THAT MATTER.*
> 
> NOTHING can compensate for looks, I mean NOTHING. Personality doesn't mean ****.
> 
> Anyway im not gonna argue with you anymore cos you wont believe me.


You do realize that looks fade with age. And because of that fact, people better pick someone with a good personality that they can get along with and....you know....love so they aren't miserable when their partner is all wrinkly.



Personality does indeed matter.


----------



## Shizuma

Umpalumpa said:


> It all comes out of trying to be accepted by other people, feeling different and thus being afraid, the amount of threads in this forums that ask:"I'm like this and like this, is it ok?" Is crazy, yes people, you are all human and you are okey
> People make too big of a deal out of it.


:clap so true my dear.


----------



## dal user

LoungeFly said:


> You do realize that looks fade with age. And because of that fact, people better pick someone with a good personality that they can get along with and....you know....love so they aren't miserable when their partner is all wrinkly.
> 
> 
> 
> Personality does indeed matter.


Ok keep on believing that then


----------



## LoungeFly

Rich91 said:


> Ok keep on believing that then


I will, thanks. And keep on believing it doesn't, and you'll only end up disappointed.


----------



## r77115

Lazarusx said:


> Looks will easily get you one night stands, maybe a casual friends with benefits dynamic for a while, but as you get older and unless you have really good game.. your social status, direction in life, career and money will take priority over looks.. especially if you want a relationship.
> 
> Looks do play a MAJOR role and are great for frequent hookups, but women will settle for an ugly man with direction in life, over a handsome man with no direction.
> 
> I lost two incredibly gorgeous women from my life, because i hadn't sorted my life out. Sucks.


I agree. This guy is right.


----------



## Jesuszilla

Why the hell would I want a woman to settle for me just because of my job or what I own


----------



## r77115

Jesuszilla said:


> Why the hell would I want a woman to settle for me just because of my job or what I own


 Women are going to be more attracted to guys who are more financially secure or who are working on becoming more financially secure. It makes them know that the guy is reliable and can take care of them if need be.


----------



## r77115

Jesuszilla said:


> Why the hell would I want a woman to settle for me just because of my job or what I own


It's not just about or all about that, but it does help. You are only 23, so you have plenty of time to work on this.


----------



## Jesuszilla

r77115 said:


> It's not just about or all about that, but it does help. You are only 23, so you have plenty of time to work on this.


What is it about then? What does my job have to do with my personality? That's like me not dating a woman because she's not a nurse but a CNA


----------



## r77115

ElectricWizard said:


> It's funny because women are becoming more masculine and men more feminine these days. Some people don't even know if they are gay or straight. The trend now is to be bisexual. The sexes really are in a state of termoil. No wonder some people are messed up!


If I found out a guy was bisexual, that would kill it for me. I think some chicks do this to be trendy, because they think it turns guys on, but are not actually gay. Guys dabbling in this however would have an entirely different meaning.


----------



## Dango

Jesuszilla said:


> What is it about then? What does my job have to do with my personality? That's like me not dating a woman because she's not a nurse but a CNA


I don't think it especially about what kind of job you do but more about how you do your job. That says a lot about your personality. It shows whether you are passionate about something, or are a responsible and reliable person, something along those lines.


----------



## peyandkeele

Jesuszilla said:


> What is it about then? What does my job have to do with my personality? That's like me not dating a woman because she's not a nurse but a CNA


its not about your job. its about a woman being attracted to you because she knows you can feed her and a potential family. its about her knowing you actually have a life, not just a life as in spending time with friends or partying or what not. but knowing youll be something in life, as in having at the very least a decent job, and a way to provide for yourself and her. if she thinks your life is stable in those aspects, that generally means you have a good personality as well(not always, but its a strong indicator among other things). and having a good personality often times will draw people to be more physically attracted to you as well. i could go more in depth if you need me to, but i dont want to confuse anyone, so i'll leave it here.


----------



## dal user

I was gonna make a thread about what im about to post but I wont bother, I'll post it here instead.

Some people might not like what im about to say so if you are easily offended *STOP READING NOW.*

Right here goes. I've noticed a lot of people say here that having no dating experience when you're an adult is okay but deep down thats just a flawed way of thinking.

Most people in their 20's and what not are out most of the time partying and getting casual sex. Those who are not doing the normal things are classed as 'losers' or 'weirdos'. Any guy or girl who's lets say my age and hasn't ever been out partying or had any casual sex is not seen as desirable and it will just give off red flags and it will crush the chances of getting with a guy or girl if they find out which will be quite easy to guess if you're an awkward person.

I see a lot of people here typing complete nonsense about how it will be a gift to whatever girl or guy finds out the person who's interested in them is inexperienced with the opposite sex. This is first class BS. How the hell is any person gonna wanna get with someone in their 20's who's never had the chance to sew their wild oats before due to being rejected and awakward?

I know for a fact I'll never get a girl now because im past it. I've never had a girfriend before and im 22 for f**k sake, why would I be considered for a relationship now. Its just so weird and not good, it makes me odd. I've heard enough people out in the real world say that they wouldn't get with a virgin at my age because its 'weird'.

So there you have it, theres just no hope. People need to start being real and stop making up fake BS to try and give false hope. I bet if anybody in their 20's went out in public and made it known that they were a virgin they'd get turned down like a bad penny.


----------



## r77115

peyandkeele said:


> its not about your job. its about a woman being attracted to you because she knows you can feed her and a potential family. its about her knowing you actually have a life, not just a life as in spending time with friends or partying or what not. but knowing youll be something in life, as in having at the very least a decent job, and a way to provide for yourself and her. if she thinks your life is stable in those aspects, that generally means you have a good personality as well(not always, but its a strong indicator among other things). and having a good personality often times will draw people to be more physically attracted to you as well. i could go more in depth if you need me to, but i dont want to confuse anyone, so i'll leave it here.


ditto

Well said, peyandkeele:yes


----------



## kjwkjw

Are you sirius? Girls hate that. They want a real man. Not a loser.


----------



## achelle92

Rich91 said:


> I was gonna make a thread about what im about to post but I wont bother, I'll post it here instead.
> 
> Some people might not like what im about to say so if you are easily offended *STOP READING NOW.*
> 
> Right here goes. I've noticed a lot of people say here that having no dating experience when you're an adult is okay but deep down thats just a flawed way of thinking.
> 
> Most people in their 20's and what not are out most of the time partying and getting casual sex. Those who are not doing the normal things are classed as 'losers' or 'weirdos'. Any guy or girl who's lets say my age and hasn't ever been out partying or had any casual sex is not seen as desirable and it will just give off red flags and it will crush the chances of getting with a guy or girl if they find out which will be quite easy to guess if you're an awkward person.
> 
> I see a lot of people here typing complete nonsense about how it will be a gift to whatever girl or guy finds out the person who's interested in them is inexperienced with the opposite sex. This is first class BS. How the hell is any person gonna wanna get with someone in their 20's who's never had the chance to sew their wild oats before due to being rejected and awakward?
> 
> I know for a fact I'll never get a girl now because im past it. I've never had a girfriend before and im 22 for f**k sake, why would I be considered for a relationship now. Its just so weird and not good, it makes me odd. I've heard enough people out in the real world say that they wouldn't get with a virgin at my age because its 'weird'.
> 
> So there you have it, theres just no hope. People need to start being real and stop making up fake BS to try and give false hope. I bet if anybody in their 20's went out in public and made it known that they were a virgin they'd get turned down like a bad penny.


Really? You're only 22..it's not like you're 44 or something. Don't give up on getting a girlfriend so quickly.

As for the question it really doesn't matter to me.


----------



## SummerRae

I prefer a virgin definitely, I hate knowing that someone in a relationship with me has been intimate with another person. But it also depends on how deep our relationship is.


----------



## Perkins

I really don't care if he's a virgin or not. I'm quite aware at this point that it's unlikely that a guy my age would still be a virgin seeing as we're both over 21. Though it wouldn't really shock me either way if he was unexplored territory or not.


----------



## londonguy202

SummerRae said:


> I prefer a virgin definitely, I hate knowing that someone in a relationship with me has been intimate with another person. But it also depends on how deep our relationship is.


I dont know many women who would still prefer a Virgin. I am a Virgin but am ashamed to admit it to a women since she will think that there is something wrong with me because i didnt have sex yet. Most women in Florida do think that.


----------



## Perkins

londonguy202 said:


> I dont know many women who would still prefer a Virgin.* I am a Virgin but am ashamed to admit it to a women since she will think that there is something wrong with me because i didnt have sex yet.* Most women in Florida do think that.


I can understand this way of thinking. I myself don't really like admitting it to people because of the typical responses I'd get afterwards. For some reason it's hard for people to believe that some people like me just have a hard time socializing and that a number things prevented me from sex, not just the social anxiety. As cliché as it sounds it won't matter to the person you end up losing it to. Anyone who gets turned off or passes judgment on you for being untouched doesn't deserve to be in your pants anyway.


----------



## dal user

achelle92 said:


> Really? You're only 22..it's not like you're 44 or something. Don't give up on getting a girlfriend so quickly.
> 
> As for the question it really doesn't matter to me.


Why would a girl want to get with me now, its really strange and off putting that I've never had a gf before. Its over, I'll nevef get a gf now, im well past it and thats the truth. Its not like im good looking either so yeah, ME = DOOMED.


----------



## Gwynevere

SummerRae said:


> I prefer a virgin definitely, I hate knowing that someone in a relationship with me has been intimate with another person. But it also depends on how deep our relationship is.


Yeah that's definitely something for the op to consider. I would like being someone's first, would be nice not to be compared to others, not have to worry about any leftover feelings for the ex, etc. And that weird feeling of thinking he's already done this same thing in this same bed with someone else.


----------



## Rixy

Rich91 said:


> Why would a girl want to get with me now


Because all you do is wallow in self pity, hijack numerous threads about your appearance and hilariously generalize what an entire society demands through a few examples. Not because you're a virgin.

What? Someone had to tell him.


----------



## Umpalumpa

Rich91 you really need to relax, you don't make any sense


----------



## dal user

Rixy said:


> Because all you do is wallow in self pity, hijack numerous threads about your appearance and hilariously generalize what an entire society demands through a few examples. Not because you're a virgin.
> 
> What? Someone had to tell him.


Im right in what I say though. Nobody can tell me im not. I do go out and realise how hostile people are towards people like me.



Umpalumpa said:


> Rich91 you really need to relax, you don't make any sense


Why dont I make any sense?

Its not as simple as just relax either.


----------



## owls

either or, i'll take whomever wants to procreate.


----------



## Umpalumpa

Rich91 said:


> Im right in what I say though. Nobody can tell me im not. I do go out and realise how hostile people are towards people like me.
> 
> Why dont I make any sense?
> 
> Its not as simple as just relax either.


What are you looking for? Casual sex? A relationship? Saying you are doomed to begin with wont lead you to one of your goals, unless of course your goal is to stay at your comfort zone (which is okey)
Being a virgin is not that big of a deal...or is it? Do you feel awkward and odd? Does it completely relate to you being a virgin? Maybe you just decided that you are odd because idiots called you that once? You wanna let other people define you? Hmmm that's not even the case anymore, now you are just "playing to their hands" and calling yourself odd without them saying it anymore, I say stop letting it dictate your life, and wish for progression, the mental situation of thinking I am lame because this and that doesn't make any sense, it goes against you getting what you want but I do feel you are saying all this because you want to avoid conflicts.
Having lack of sexual experience doesn't make a person less 'worthy', if you think that anyone cares about how experienced you are, you are wrong.
For example I know this guy who has sex with 3 different girls every week, does it make him cooler? Not at all, I also know this guy who if he doesn't have sex at least 6 times a week he gets depressed in levels that you can't imagine, you think this make those people strong? You are wrong.
On an other note, what do you have to offer to a girl? (Of course this is not offensive) try to think, because it needs to work in both ways, it needs to b equal if you want it to be good (relationship)


----------



## dal user

Umpalumpa said:


> What are you looking for? Casual sex? A relationship? Saying you are doomed to begin with wont lead you to one of your goals, unless of course your goal is to stay at your comfort zone (which is okey)
> Being a virgin is not that big of a deal...or is it? Do you feel awkward and odd? Does it completely relate to you being a virgin? Maybe you just decided that you are odd because idiots called you that once? You wanna let other people define you? Hmmm that's not even the case anymore, now you are just "playing to their hands" and calling yourself odd without them saying it anymore, I say stop letting it dictate your life, and wish for progression, the mental situation of thinking I am lame because this and that doesn't make any sense, it goes against you getting what you want but I do feel you are saying all this because you want to avoid conflicts.
> Having lack of sexual experience doesn't make a person less 'worthy', if you think that anyone cares about how experienced you are, you are wrong.
> For example I know this guy who has sex with 3 different girls every week, does it make him cooler? Not at all, I also know this guy who if he doesn't have sex at least 6 times a week he gets depressed in levels that you can't imagine, you think this make those people strong? You are wrong.
> On an other note, what do you have to offer to a girl? (Of course this is not offensive) try to think, because it needs to work in both ways, it needs to b equal if you want it to be good (relationship)


Casual sex. I dont go out much socially though and I dont have many friends so that topped with my grotesque looks, non existent confidence and self esteem and the way I come accross is a death sentence in terms of getting a girl or meeting new people in general.

Girls would care about the whole virginity thing though I can guarantee if a guy tells a girl she'd walk, especially if shes the outgoing type with loads of friends.

What do I have to offer a girl?

well not much, im a bit funny so people have told me but that wont win me a girl cos im still grotesque looking. I have no confidence, self esteem, im not very well as a person, I tend to come accross rude and show no sympathy so thats no good really. I have a lazy eye, weak chin and jaw, crooked smile, huge nose and my hair is horribly bushy oh and I cant grow a proper beard so that secures me a place as a loner for the rest of my life.

I've not even made friends at work and I've been there over a year now. People say I neec to open up to people but nobody wants to know a retarded ****wit like me. I have a really bad speech impedament and a hunched back too.


----------



## Umpalumpa

Rich91 said:


> Casual sex. I dont go out much socially though and I dont have many friends so that topped with my grotesque looks, non existent confidence and self esteem and the way I come accross is a death sentence in terms of getting a girl or meeting new people in general.
> 
> Girls would care about the whole virginity thing though I can guarantee if a guy tells a girl she'd walk, especially if shes the outgoing type with loads of friends.
> 
> What do I have to offer a girl?
> 
> well not much, im a bit funny so people have told me but that wont win me a girl cos im still grotesque looking. I have no confidence, self esteem, im not very well as a person, I tend to come accross rude and show no sympathy so thats no good really. I have a lazy eye, weak chin and jaw, crooked smile, huge nose and my hair is horribly bushy oh and I cant grow a proper beard so that secures me a place as a loner for the rest of my life.
> 
> I've not even made friends at work and I've been there over a year now. People say I neec to open up to people but nobody wants to know a retarded ****wit like me. I have a really bad speech impedament and a hunched back too.


Grotesque? I doubt it, lets see what fixable?
Self esteem and confidence aren't a permenent thing obviously, being rude and having no sympathy is because you don't trust people, it's not a permanent thing, lazy eye I'm not sure about, but I know of someone who fixed it, weak chin and jaw...you can make them look more "masculin" if you will work out so your neck would get stronger, hmmm I doubt having a "weak" chin and jaw is a problem, crooked smile has to do with how you feel ATM, huge nose not changeable, bushy hair? Haircut... Can't grow a proper beard? Shave more, hunched back? Very fixable.
If something bothers you make an effort to change it no? It's easy to stay in the comfort zone of giving up though.
You are a realist right? You like honesty?
Maybe looking for casual sex with those type of girls you were describing is not what right for you right now? Work on the real problems, being a virgin is not the reason it is just the effect, be honest with yourself and your feelings, be more yourself and less what people expect you to be, or what the television told you is right or wrong


----------



## dal user

Umpalumpa said:


> Grotesque? I doubt it, lets see what fixable?
> Self esteem and confidence aren't a permenent thing obviously, being rude and having no sympathy is because you don't trust people, it's not a permanent thing, lazy eye I'm not sure about, but I know of someone who fixed it, weak chin and jaw...you can make them look more "masculin" if you will work out so your neck would get stronger, hmmm I doubt having a "weak" chin and jaw is a problem, crooked smile has to do with how you feel ATM, huge nose not changeable, bushy hair? Haircut... Can't grow a proper beard? Shave more, hunched back? Very fixable.
> If something bothers you make an effort to change it no? It's easy to stay in the comfort zone of giving up though.
> You are a realist right? You like honesty?
> Maybe looking for casual sex with those type of girls you were describing is not what right for you right now? Work on the real problems, being a virgin is not the reason it is just the effect, be honest with yourself and your feelings, be more yourself and less what people expect you to be, or what the television told you is right or wrong


I do shave a lot but it never grows properly, it just looks all scruffy.

as for the rest maybe some of the problems are fixablebut I doubt a hunch back is. I dont know what haircut is bext for me, I always get a number 3 all over because I doubt I'd suit anything else. I am grotesque looking, theres no denying that.


----------



## Umpalumpa

As for me?
I don't like this whole masculin bull****, I don't like people with "perfect" bull**** buddies, I don't like those stereotypes I don't like those shouty girls, I don't like men who can't move their body because of muscles, I like people with real bodies, I like people with personality, people that don't give up, people that stand for themselves, people that can love and don't judge what's right or wrong the way the television judge, giving up is wrong, not standing for yourself is wrong.
People weaknesses and imperfect sides are what beautiful about them, they are real.
Watch the ****ing television, every ****ing dude has 6 abs and every girl has fake boobs...it is getting so boring.


----------



## Umpalumpa

A hunch back is very fixable.


----------



## dal user

Umpalumpa said:


> A hunch back is very fixable.


Probably only by major operation spinal surgery


----------



## AllToAll

Thank you, men of SAS, really, for letting me know that I do in fact care about a guy's virginity if he's over the arbitrary age of 21. Here I was believing that it didn't really matter, or that it could even be kinda cute since we could learn from one another, but no. I was wrong. How foolish of me to think I knew how I felt about this oh-so important topic. Thank you for showing me the way.

_*Waits for a guy to reply "you're welcome."*_


----------



## r77115

Umpalumpa is right... your perspective is killing you and not going to get you anywhere. Also, if you work out and strengthen your upper back muscles, this often corrects bad posture and the associated hunchback.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

AllToAll said:


> Thank you, men of SAS, really, for letting me know that I do in fact care about a guy's virginity if he's over the arbitrary age of 21. Here I was believing that it didn't really matter, or that it could even be kinda cute since we could learn from one another, but no. I was wrong. How foolish of me to think I knew how I felt about this oh-so important topic. Thank you for showing me the way.
> 
> _*Waits for a guy to reply "you're welcome."*_


I like turtles :banana


----------



## r77115

Umpalumpa said:


> What are you looking for? Casual sex? A relationship? Saying you are doomed to begin with wont lead you to one of your goals, unless of course your goal is to stay at your comfort zone (which is okey)
> Being a virgin is not that big of a deal...or is it? Do you feel awkward and odd? Does it completely relate to you being a virgin? Maybe you just decided that you are odd because idiots called you that once? You wanna let other people define you? Hmmm that's not even the case anymore, now you are just "playing to their hands" and calling yourself odd without them saying it anymore, I say stop letting it dictate your life, and wish for progression, the mental situation of thinking I am lame because this and that doesn't make any sense, it goes against you getting what you want but I do feel you are saying all this because you want to avoid conflicts.
> Having lack of sexual experience doesn't make a person less 'worthy', if you think that anyone cares about how experienced you are, you are wrong.
> For example I know this guy who has sex with 3 different girls every week, does it make him cooler? Not at all, I also know this guy who if he doesn't have sex at least 6 times a week he gets depressed in levels that you can't imagine, you think this make those people strong? You are wrong.
> On an other note, what do you have to offer to a girl? (Of course this is not offensive) try to think, because it needs to work in both ways, it needs to b equal if you want it to be good (relationship)


This is very wise advice


----------



## r77115

Rich91 said:


> Casual sex. I dont go out much socially though and I dont have many friends so that topped with my grotesque looks, non existent confidence and self esteem and the way I come accross is a death sentence in terms of getting a girl or meeting new people in general.
> 
> Girls would care about the whole virginity thing though I can guarantee if a guy tells a girl she'd walk, especially if shes the outgoing type with loads of friends.
> 
> What do I have to offer a girl?
> 
> well not much, im a bit funny so people have told me but that wont win me a girl cos im still grotesque looking. I have no confidence, self esteem, im not very well as a person, I tend to come accross rude and show no sympathy so thats no good really. I have a lazy eye, weak chin and jaw, crooked smile, huge nose and my hair is horribly bushy oh and I cant grow a proper beard so that secures me a place as a loner for the rest of my life.
> 
> I've not even made friends at work and I've been there over a year now. People say I neec to open up to people but nobody wants to know a retarded ****wit like me. I have a really bad speech impedament and a hunched back too.


I don't know how UK health care works, but if your vision is affected by having a lazy eye, maybe you can get it paid for since it's a functional issue? I know someone who had this and had a terrible time with their vision.


----------



## londonguy202

*A British expat now living in USA*



r77115 said:


> I don't know how UK health care works, but if your vision is affected by having a lazy eye, maybe you can get it paid for since it's a functional issue? I know someone who had this and had a terrible time with their vision.


As a British Expat who now lives in FL, I gotta chime in here. I had a lazy eye since 2 years old. I also have short sight. This means I can see long distances without glasses. The Lazy Eye can not be treated. I did wear a NHS provided eye patch over my affected left eye for a few years at night which corrected it but I was told do a finger test. This when you hold your finger, close your good eye and make your lazy eye concentrate on the tip of your finger as your bring it closer to the eye. This will make your eye muscle stronger.

A surgery can be done which is just for cosmetic reasons. I was called my lazy left eye was caused by a lazy eye muscle.

You do not need to pay for anything. Anyone can use the NHS for FREEE. I have used NHS glasses which are free for under 16 and as long as you are 18 and in full time education the glasses and tests are free.

Most dental and vision treatments including eye surgery is free. Only eyesight tests and glasses are required to be paid for when your are over 18 and not a student.

The NHS is free thanks to the 1985 NHS Act. free for all at the point of entry.
Most of the funding comes from taxes and a very small amount from National Insurance contributions which are required to be paid by everyone. This is a very small amount and is taken from the PAYE (Pay as you earn ) amount of your pay check. Even if you are unemployed, you will pay for NI contributions which is paid for you by the government. National Insurance is also used to pay for your state pension and the more your work the more you get in state pension. More in on gov.uk
http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/thenhs/about/Pages/overview.aspx


----------



## dal user

r77115 said:


> I don't know how UK health care works, but if your vision is affected by having a lazy eye, maybe you can get it paid for since it's a functional issue? I know someone who had this and had a terrible time with their vision.


My sight is not affected. Last time I went to the opticians they said my eye sight was fine. What it is, when I laugh my right eye creases more than the left one, it completely clises sometimes while the left one doesn't crease at all. I'll have to take a photo tomorrow to show you what I mean.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Rich91 said:


> At the end of the day though it is a big turnoff for most women.
> 
> Besides I doubt anybody could lose it once they are in their 20's, maybe a guy whos handsome could but an ugly guy couldn't. Its just the way the cookie crumbles.


You. Are. 22.

A lot of guys are virgins at 22. It's not the end of the world. Just lose it now.


----------



## dal user

DeeperUnderstanding said:


> You. Are. 22.
> 
> A lot of guys are virgins at 22. It's not the end of the world. Just lose it now.


Its not as simple as 'just lose it now' im not good looking so yeah.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Rich91 said:


> Its not as simple as 'just lose it now' im not good looking so yeah.


It's simple enough that you aren't in the "OMG what's wrong with you?" percentage yet.

That happens when you turn 26. And it gets worse every year. I'm 31, and in the same position, and I can tell you that it's a lot worse (but not impossible) for me.


----------



## dal user

DeeperUnderstanding said:


> It's simple enough that you aren't in the "OMG what's wrong with you?" percentage yet.
> 
> That happens when you turn 26. And it gets worse every year. I'm 31, and in the same position, and I can tell you that it's a lot worse (but not impossible) for me.


How can you be so sure about that?


----------



## r77115

Rich91 said:


> My sight is not affected. Last time I went to the opticians they said my eye sight was fine. What it is, when I laugh my right eye creases more than the left one, it completely clises sometimes while the left one doesn't crease at all. I'll have to take a photo tomorrow to show you what I mean.


Sounds like you mean droopy eyelid?

" it completely clises sometimes while the left one doesn't crease at all." Um, this would affect your vision. Sounds like a functional issue versus a cosmetic one. Sounds like you might be able to get it paid for...


----------



## dal user

r77115 said:


> Sounds like you mean droopy eyelid?
> 
> " it completely clises sometimes while the left one doesn't crease at all." Um, this would affect your vision. Sounds like a functional issue versus a cosmetic one. Sounds like you might be able to get it paid for...


Either way im really self conscious about it. I dont really know whats up. I dont really have much feeling on the left side of my face and im quite worried. I feel like such a freak when I laugh or smile.


----------



## r77115

Rich91 said:


> Either way im really self conscious about it. I dont really know whats up. I dont really have much feeling on the left side of my face and im quite worried. I feel like such a freak when I laugh or smile.


You should definitely make an appointment with a doctor and have it checked out. There could be something more serious going on.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Rich91 said:


> How can you be so sure about that?


How can I be sure about anything?

I'm 31. You aren't 31. Therefore, I can talk about things, as a 31 year old, that I didn't experience as a 22 year old.


----------



## Hideki

I'm 29 and still a virgin. I've always thought that girls wanted a guy with experience. Because that's the way it's usually portrayed in the media. It's also from what I've observed. On a dating show, I saw a girl reject a guy for being a virgin and called him a little boy. He was 34, while she had two kids. I've heard a girl who was a virgin herself say that she doesn't want her future husband to be a virgin. I've even heard of a girl who was in a relationship, dump her boyfriend when she found out he was a virgin. Stuff like this has made me bitter towards women.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

Hideki said:


> To me they are. Unless I'm shown otherwise.


What you've seen are small examples portrayed on the media where their aim is to overexaggerate things and instill emotions like fear and insecurity into the viewer. Don't let those few examples shape your view of women, I've had bad experiences with girls too but not all of them, I have met a couple of genuinely good girls with good hearts and they, like other good people give hope to humanity.


----------



## dal user

Hideki said:


> I'm 29 and still a virgin. I've always thought that girls wanted a guy with experience. Because that's the way it's usually portrayed in the media. It's also from what I've observed. On a dating show, I saw a girl reject a guy for being a virgin and called him a little boy. He was 34, while she had two kids. I've heard a girl who was a virgin herself say that she doesn't want her future husband to be a virgin. I've even heard of a girl who was in a relationship, dump her boyfriend when she found out he was a virgin. Stuff like this has made me bitter towards women.


And this is why when your in your 20's without losing it, its impossible. It depresses me so much but its not cool for girls to be with a man who's a virgin.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

Rich91 said:


> And this is why when your in your 20's without losing it, its impossible. It depresses me so much but its not cool for girls to be with a man who's a virgin.


Slept with about a few girls in the last 3 years and I'm 22.

And you know what? I feel pretty much the same - why? Because none of thsoe girls i could develop a deep emotional connection to except 1. But even then I couldn't continue a relationship with her? Why? because we lived on different sides of the world and just met while both on holidays in one location and she inspired me to make something of myself, to become more. And even though I'm single and get sad about being lonely every now and then it's the underlying drive and devotion to becoming a better man that drives me to live.


----------



## dal user

TheDarkGuardian said:


> Slept with about a few girls in the last 3 years and I'm 22.
> 
> And you know what? I feel pretty much the same - why? Because none of thsoe girls i could develop a deep emotional connection to except 1. But even then I couldn't continue a relationship with her? Why? because we lived on different sides of the world and just met while both on holidays in one location and she inspired me to make something of myself, to become more. And even though I'm single and get sad about being lonely every now and then it's the underlying drive and devotion to becoming a better man that drives me to live.


But I dont buy into that sentimental ****. About all that wait for the special one blah blah blah. Of course I'll never be able to get with a girl now because I've never bern with a girl before so girls would just turn their nose up at me.


----------



## herk

my virginity gets me laid all the time


----------



## Gwynevere

Hideki said:


> I'm 29 and still a virgin. I've always thought that girls wanted a guy with experience. Because that's the way it's usually portrayed in the media. It's also from what I've observed. On a dating show, I saw a girl reject a guy for being a virgin and called him a little boy. He was 34, while she had two kids. I've heard a girl who was a virgin herself say that she doesn't want her future husband to be a virgin. I've even heard of a girl who was in a relationship, dump her boyfriend when she found out he was a virgin. Stuff like this has made me bitter towards women.


I don't really see why you need to say anything about it. Out of all the possible things that she might ask about and be turned off by the answer, I just can't picture virginity coming up.


----------



## dal user

StreetWiseHercules said:


> my virginity gets me laid all the time


Stop lying

saying you're a virgin at 22 will not get you laid. FACT.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

Rich91 said:


> Stop lying
> 
> saying you're a virgin at 22 will not get you laid. FACT.


Shutting down everyone's comments by slamming FACT at the end of yours is not an attractive trait, whether it be for friends or for relationships. I've seen your posts now and I figure that you're so adamant that you're ugly and that you'll never get a girl that despite what people tell you, you just ignore them and continue on with your bigotry because you can't respect your opinions because of your own lack of self respect. I hate bigotry. Most logical people hate bigotry. That's a fact.

We throw you a solution but you just shut us down, then you say 'oh it's not like I don't want a solution but I don't know what to do'. You know what bub? Make up your mind. You want help then get help and work on your self esteem. You want to be bitter and angry at yourself and the rest of the world for the rest of your life then do that. I'll tell you though I'm getting sick of you just slamming everyone down that tries to help you.


----------



## tbyrfan

TheDarkGuardian said:


> Shutting down everyone's comments by slamming FACT at the end of yours is not an attractive trait, whether it be for friends or for relationships. I've seen your posts now and I figure that you're so adamant that you're ugly and that you'll never get a girl that despite what people tell you, you just ignore them and continue on with your bigotry because you can't respect your opinions because of your own lack of self respect. I hate bigotry. Most logical people hate bigotry. That's a fact.
> 
> We throw you a solution but you just shut us down, then you say 'oh it's not like I don't want a solution but I don't know what to do'. You know what bub? Make up your mind. You want help then get help and work on your self esteem. You want to be bitter and angry at yourself and the rest of the world for the rest of your life then do that. I'll tell you though I'm getting sick of you just slamming everyone down that tries to help you.


It's not "bigotry", it's body image and self-esteem problems. On a site where people have mental health problems, you can't expect people to graciously accept everyone's advice. It's better to just ignore it if it upsets you instead of lashing out at the person. It will only make matters worse for them and won't serve as a wake-up call like most people think it will.

It seems that people will get sympathy for pretty much any issue on here except for body image problems. I wonder why.


----------



## dal user

TheDarkGuardian said:


> Shutting down everyone's comments by slamming FACT at the end of yours is not an attractive trait, whether it be for friends or for relationships. I've seen your posts now and I figure that you're so adamant that you're ugly and that you'll never get a girl that despite what people tell you, you just ignore them and continue on with your bigotry because you can't respect your opinions because of your own lack of self respect. I hate bigotry. Most logical people hate bigotry. That's a fact.
> 
> We throw you a solution but you just shut us down, then you say 'oh it's not like I don't want a solution but I don't know what to do'. You know what bub? Make up your mind. You want help then get help and work on your self esteem. You want to be bitter and angry at yourself and the rest of the world for the rest of your life then do that. I'll tell you though I'm getting sick of you just slamming everyone down that tries to help you.


Mate, even though I appreciate some of the help I get here I have to shut the **** down because I feel as if what is said here is void out in the real world. I mean people here think its not that bad to be a virgin in your 20's but out in the real world its seen as not acceptable and a huge turn off for girls. You know deep down that being a virgin in your 20's will not get you laid ever, its not an attractive trait as it gives off a weird vibe and it means undesirable, so why would a girl let me anywhere near her when no other girl has?


----------



## Umpalumpa

Go go Rich91 we believe in ya


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

tbyrfan said:


> It's not "bigotry", it's body image and self-esteem problems. On a site where people have mental health problems, you can't expect people to graciously accept everyone's advice. It's better to just ignore it if it upsets you instead of lashing out at the person. It will only make matters worse for them and won't serve as a wake-up call like most people think it will.
> 
> It seems that people will get sympathy for pretty much any issue on here except for body image problems. I wonder why.


How does ignoring the situation help it? Sometimes you have to go the deep end to find the solution. It's called taking a risk. It's called life. People do get sympathy here for body image problems.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Rich, maybe if you started trying to think more positively, you'd get somewhere? You certainly don't want to be my age, and still worrying about this.


----------



## dal user

Umpalumpa said:


> Go go Rich91 we believe in ya


you'd be better off believing in someone else. Dont waste your time with me.



DeeperUnderstanding said:


> Rich, maybe if you started trying to think more positively, you'd get somewhere? You certainly don't want to be my age, and still worrying about this.


Thinking positively wont get me anywhere and it certainly wont get me any sex cos im well too ugly and have no social status.

I think realistically. Girls wouldn't date me because of my name, tge way I look, my non existant confidence and my general awkwardness and the fact I've never been with a girl before. Theres no point now its way too late.


----------



## Gwynevere

Rich91 said:


> Girls wouldn't date me because of my name


Is your name not Richard?


----------



## dal user

Gwynevere said:


> Is your name not Richard?


Yes my name is richard


----------



## Gwynevere

Rich91 said:


> Yes my name is richard


I don't get why that's a negative.


----------



## dal user

Gwynevere said:


> I don't get why that's a negative.


I dont think any girl with a stable mind would date a guy whos nickname is d**k


----------



## Gwynevere

Rich91 said:


> I dont think any girl with a stable mind would date a guy whos nickname is d**k


I think you're just making up excuses to not try. There was a Dick in my highschool who was probably one of the most popular guys (obviously being a sports star helped, but still, name was never an issue, and he insisted on Dick rather than Richard).


----------



## dal user

Gwynevere said:


> I think you're just making up excuses to not try. There was a Dick in my highschool who was probably one of the most popular guys (obviously being a sports star helped, but still, name was never an issue, and he insisted on Dick rather than Richard).


Im not

theres tonnes of things why no girl would date me

- im grotesque looking
- I have no social status
- I only have a small number of friends
- im a retarded ****ing idiot who cant talk properly
- I have a job that is considered degrading
- I have really big buck teeth
- big bulbous nose
- no confidence or self esteem
- cant stand up straight. I have a hunch back
- not intelligent enough
- look sleepy all the time
- awkward as ****
- poor conversational skills
- not much money
- I live in a deprived area in the middle of nowhere
- I have no ambition or prospects
- im pale and look lifeless
- cant grow a beard
- hair is greasy and grows weird and too long
- I look unhygenic, scruffy, trampy.
- have never had a girlfriend or dated.
- weak looking
- not manly looking


----------



## Gwynevere

Rich91 said:


> Im not
> 
> theres tonnes of things why no girl would date me


SUBJECTIVE
- im grotesque looking
- I have really big buck teeth
- big bulbous nose
- look sleepy all the time
- im pale and look lifeless
- cant grow a beard
- weak looking
- not manly looking

ACTUAL PROBLEMS
- im a retarded ****ing idiot who cant talk properly
- not intelligent enough
- awkward as ****
- poor conversational skills
- I have no ambition or prospects
- hair is greasy and grows weird and too long
- I look unhygenic, scruffy, trampy.
- cant stand up straight. I have a hunch back

EFFECTS
- I have no social status
- I only have a small number of friends
- I have a job that is considered degrading
- no confidence or self esteem
- not much money
- I live in a deprived area in the middle of nowhere
- have never had a girlfriend or dated.

I don't know why i'm doing this, but let's break this down.

First off, some of what you listed are effects of your problems, not problems themselves, so ignore that.

Next there's subjective problems. Most of the things you put in looks are really vague(grotesque) or completely subjective(not manly), so ignore them.

So then we're left with your actual problems.
The first 4, can be worked through. Either in therapy or just with a lot of practice. 
Next, no ambition is a choice. Find something that interests you, and if you can't, maybe you have depression.
The next two are easy, take showers and cut your hair.
Finally hunchback, i have no idea about that one, but you know, people in wheelchairs can find partners. It's not like a minor physical disabiilty(i mean you can still walk) will completely hold you back.

So there, you've got a lot of work to do, but you're not doomed.


----------



## dal user

Gwynevere said:


> SUBJECTIVE
> - im grotesque looking
> - I have really big buck teeth
> - big bulbous nose
> - look sleepy all the time
> - im pale and look lifeless
> - cant grow a beard
> - weak looking
> - not manly looking
> 
> ACTUAL PROBLEMS
> - im a retarded ****ing idiot who cant talk properly
> - not intelligent enough
> - awkward as ****
> - poor conversational skills
> - I have no ambition or prospects
> - hair is greasy and grows weird and too long
> - I look unhygenic, scruffy, trampy.
> - cant stand up straight. I have a hunch back
> 
> EFFECTS
> - I have no social status
> - I only have a small number of friends
> - I have a job that is considered degrading
> - no confidence or self esteem
> - not much money
> - I live in a deprived area in the middle of nowhere
> - have never had a girlfriend or dated.
> 
> I don't know why i'm doing this, but let's break this down.
> 
> First off, some of what you listed are effects of your problems, not problems themselves, so ignore that.
> 
> Next there's subjective problems. Most of the things you put in looks are really vague(grotesque) or completely subjective(not manly), so ignore them.
> 
> So then we're left with your actual problems.
> The first 4, can be worked through. Either in therapy or just with a lot of practice.
> Next, no ambition is a choice. Find something that interests you, and if you can't, maybe you have depression.
> The next two are easy, take showers and cut your hair.
> Finally hunchback, i have no idea about that one, but you know, people in wheelchairs can find partners. It's not like a minor physical disabiilty(i mean you can still walk) will completely hold you back.
> 
> So there, you've got a lot of work to do, but you're not doomed.


I cant overcome retardation. You'll understand what im talking about if you've seen my video in the video thread.

Thats just too much to work on, by time I've worked on them all I'll be even more past my sell by date to get a girl. Also I shower everyday and im quite hygenic, I just dont look it.


----------



## tbyrfan

TheDarkGuardian said:


> How does ignoring the situation help it? Sometimes you have to go the deep end to find the solution. It's called taking a risk. It's called life. People do get sympathy here for body image problems.


I think you misunderstood my post. I meant that it's better to ignore users like Rich when they talk about their self-esteem problems instead of lashing out at them and calling them a bigot.

And there is little sympathy on here for people with body image problems. People compliment you at first, then get extremely hostile if you can't take the compliment the way they want you to or if you don't agree with their advice (which is usually horrible). It's one of those things that you have to go through to understand.


----------



## r77115

@Rich91 I just saw a side pic view of you, and I think you are blowing this out of proportion. You aren't grotesquely ugly. I don't know why you say all this?! You need to change your perspective and quit being so negative. Your views don't seem to be at all aligned with reality.


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

I would surmise that girls would have more peace of mind entering a relationship with someone who likewise was a virgin, for obvious reasons.


----------



## dal user

r77115 said:


> @Rich91 I just saw a side pic view of you, and I think you are blowing this out of proportion. You aren't grotesquely ugly. *I don't know why you say all this?!* You need to change your perspective and quit being so negative. Your views don't seem to be at all aligned with reality.


Because thats all I've been told all my life. Every girl I've taken interest in has just verbally attacked me with snotty arse comments like 'ewwwwww no way, I'd rather die than be with him' 'what? Him? Hes so ugly though' 'no hes a ****ing tramp, I mean look at him' 'I'd rather go out with quasimodo' obviously all them are quite out of order to say, if it would of been a 'oh no, I dont want to thanks' it would of still been a downer because rejection always is but all them others I posted are a kick in the balls. Thats why im so bitter and can get easily annoyed with women, I mean wouldn't you if someone you were attracted to called you a '****ing tramp' ?


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Rich91 said:


> Because thats all I've been told all my life. Every girl I've taken interest in has just verbally attacked me with snotty arse comments like 'ewwwwww no way, I'd rather die than be with him' 'what? Him? Hes so ugly though' 'no hes a ****ing tramp, I mean look at him' 'I'd rather go out with quasimodo' obviously all them are quite out of order to say, if it would of been a 'oh no, I dont want to thanks' it would of still been a downer because rejection always is but all them others I posted are a kick in the balls. Thats why im so bitter and can get easily annoyed with women, I mean wouldn't you if someone you were attracted to called you a '****ing tramp' ?


Do you think these women are good people, though? I mean, seriously, do you think you should value their opinion?


----------



## CheekyBunny

Rich91 said:


> Because thats all I've been told all my life. Every girl I've taken interest in has just verbally attacked me with snotty arse comments like 'ewwwwww no way, I'd rather die than be with him' 'what? Him? Hes so ugly though' 'no hes a ****ing tramp, I mean look at him' 'I'd rather go out with quasimodo' obviously all them are quite out of order to say, if it would of been a 'oh no, I dont want to thanks' it would of still been a downer because rejection always is but all them others I posted are a kick in the balls. Thats why im so bitter and can get easily annoyed with women, I mean wouldn't you if someone you were attracted to called you a '****ing tramp' ?


Were you going after girls who were equally matched in looks with you?


----------



## dal user

DeeperUnderstanding said:


> Do you think these women are good people, though? I mean, seriously, do you think you should value their opinion?


no I shouldn't but the fact is I think all girls see me that way



CheekyBunny said:


> Were you going after girls who were equally matched in looks with you?


I didn't go after any, it was just my mates having a joke when we were younger, they'd wind each other up asking girls out for each other to emarass them and that was the responses I got. One of them wasn't even attractive but the others were so yeah they were out of my league.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Rich91 said:


> no I shouldn't but the fact is I think all girls see me that way
> 
> I didn't go after any, it was just my mates having a joke when we were younger, they'd wind each other up asking girls out for each other to emarass them and that was the responses I got. One of them wasn't even attractive but the others were so yeah they were out of my league.


Are you ready for a mindblowing experience?'

Okay...here we go...

Women don't have a hive mind.










Seriously, you need to re-examine your attitude, because that is what is probably turning off women, more than your looks.


----------



## Gwynevere

Rich91 said:


> I didn't go after any, it was just my mates having a joke when we were younger, they'd wind each other up asking girls out for each other to emarass them and that was the responses I got. One of them wasn't even attractive but the others were so yeah they were out of my league.


Wait, how younger? Are you basing this entire thing off what *highschool* girls said about you!?


----------



## r77115

@Rich91 I didn't see your video, but going by your profile pic, I think you have a nice face structure and features  Keep your head up and be positive. Quit basing your perceptions on what people said in hs. Sometimes the nice-looking kids in hs don't always age so well and vice versa.


----------



## dal user

Gwynevere said:


> Wait, how younger? Are you basing this entire thing off what *highschool* girls said about you!?


It was when I was in high school when I was about 14. The girls who said it were in my year so they were my age.


----------



## dal user

r77115 said:


> @Rich91 I didn't see your video, but going by your profile pic, I think you have a nice face structure and features  Keep your head up and be positive. Quit basing your perceptions on what people said in hs. Sometimes the nice-looking kids in hs don't always age so well and vice versa.


Thats very hard to believe as I've never had a compliment from a woman before but thanks anyway.


----------



## Gwynevere

Rich91 said:


> It was when I was in high school when I was about 14. The girls who said it were in my year so they were my age.


Well then don't think about it, kids are just *******s. If I listened to what high school kids said to me then I'd have killed myself.


----------



## dal user

Gwynevere said:


> Well then don't think about it, kids are just *******s. If I listened to what high school kids said to me then I'd have killed myself.


But I feel as if I did approach a women I liked, I'd expect a hostile response because of what I look and sound like. I dont know, I just cant see any woman appreciating me showing interest, I imagine I'd get an awful response.


----------



## Gwynevere

Rich91 said:


> But I feel as if I did approach a women I liked, I'd expect a hostile response because of what I look and sound like.


Idk what the UK is like, but here people and especially women don't often respond hostilely unless you do something really egregious. A 'hi how are you' will at worst get a 'no thanks.'


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

tbyrfan said:


> I think you misunderstood my post. I meant that it's better to ignore users like Rich when they talk about their self-esteem problems instead of lashing out at them and calling them a bigot.
> 
> And there is little sympathy on here for people with body image problems. People compliment you at first, then get extremely hostile if you can't take the compliment the way they want you to or if you don't agree with their advice (which is usually horrible). It's one of those things that you have to go through to understand.


I have body image problems too but I just handle it... ...differently. I have my own insecurities as well you know and I think it's better to be blunt and honest and 'lash out' with someone than to just let them shoot themselves down. Yes I know they have a mental illness but whether people like it or not, sometimes the solutions require drastic actions/change over time.


----------



## tbyrfan

TheDarkGuardian said:


> I have body image problems too but I just handle it... ...differently. I have my own insecurities as well you know and I think it's better to be blunt and honest and 'lash out' with someone than to just let them shoot themselves down. Yes I know they have a mental illness but whether people like it or not, sometimes the solutions require drastic actions/change over time.


From my experiences as well as those of people I know, bluntness and anger is never a solution. It only adds salt to the wound and makes people feel more hopeless and alone. For the vast majority of people, it's an extremely poor way of handling things.


----------



## Rainbat

I think the stigma against male virgins is not necessarily the fact that they haven't had sex, it's the qualities they often possess that likely prevented them from having sex in the first place.

No reasonably attractive and otherwise competent guy would have any issue finding a significant other, virgin or not. Even if you're 40+.

It's the unattractive qualities that most male virgins have that gets the bad rep. They're often unkempt, awkward, and generally unpleasant to interact with for long periods of time.

You get greasy guys with B.O. who walk up to women with their fedora and unkempt facial hair and simply leer at them for several minutes while breathing heavily. _That_ is what's unattractive, not the fact that they haven't slept with anyone.


----------



## Alone75

Rainbat said:


> I think the stigma against male virgins is not necessarily the fact that they haven't had sex, it's the qualities they often possess that likely prevented them from having sex in the first place.
> 
> No reasonably attractive and otherwise competent guy would have any issue finding a significant other, virgin or not. Even if you're 40+.
> 
> It's the unattractive qualities that most male virgins have that gets the bad rep. They're often unkempt, awkward, and generally unpleasant to interact with for long periods of time.
> 
> You get greasy guys with B.O. who walk up to women with their fedora and unkempt facial hair and simply leer at them for several minutes while breathing heavily. _That_ is what's unattractive, not the fact that they haven't slept with anyone.


What about the male virgins who are clean, well kept and are virgins because of women rejecting them because of their SA behaviour or not having the right job, or own place? 
It can come down to it that you're a virgin because you're ugly as well, but women do the choosing. It's the women's pickiness, narrow shallowness and adhering to the standards set by society also, it's not always the guys fault.


----------



## Jesuszilla

AceP said:


> What about the male virgins who are clean, well kept and are virgins because of women rejecting them because of their SA behaviour or not having the right job, or own place?
> It can come down to it that you're a virgin because you're ugly as well, but women do the choosing. It's the women's pickiness, narrow shallowness and adhering to the standards set by society also, it's not always the guys fault.


Good point. For some guys they are just not attractive. If everyone was attractive ugly wouldn't exist. SA obviously plays a huge factor in it as well. In short we don't know why girls turn us down so I think focusing on why is useless.

I have mixed feelings on women being picky. There are definitely picky women with a shopping list of qualities a man must have before he even thinks of looking at her. At the same time I can't get mad a women not willing to sleep with me because they don't find me attractive. I guess it would be the context in which I'd consider a woman picky.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

Jesuszilla said:


> Good point. For some guys they are just not attractive. If everyone was attractive ugly wouldn't exist. SA obviously plays a huge factor in it as well. In short we don't know why girls turn us down so I think focusing on why is useless.
> 
> I have mixed feelings on women being picky. There are definitely picky women with a shopping list of qualities a man must have before he even thinks of looking at her. At the same time I can't get mad a women not willing to sleep with me because they don't find me attractive. I guess it would be the context in which I'd consider a woman picky.


Depends on the type of person the woman is, same could be said of the man too. A person with a very poor attitude and below average looks is not likely to get with someone who has a good attitude and above average looks.


----------



## dal user

DeeperUnderstanding said:


> Are you ready for a mindblowing experience?'
> 
> Okay...here we go...
> 
> Women don't have a hive mind.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Seriously, you need to re-examine your attitude, because that is what is probably turning off women, more than your looks.


Im a virgin at 22 so I'll never be able to get laid and I'll be alone forever. Its not my attitude, its the fact im still a virgin at 22. Looks like I'll end up at a brothel cos I aint gonna get nothing. Girls are too picky and stuck up these days and once they find out a guy is a virgin, well pffffft lets just say that guy isn't getting any ever.


----------



## LoungeFly

Dude, I have known many people who lost their virginity after 22, 25, 27, and even after 30. The fact that you are a virgin at 22 does not mean you will never lose it. That is absolutely not true.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

Rich91 said:


> Im a virgin at 22 so I'll never be able to get laid and I'll be alone forever. Its not my attitude, its the fact im still a virgin at 22. Looks like I'll end up at a brothel cos I aint gonna get nothing. Girls are too picky and stuck up these days and once they find out a guy is a virgin, well pffffft lets just say that guy isn't getting any ever.


I don't see any scientific evidence that confirms to absolution that because you're 22 and a virgin that you'll remain that way forever. And girls aren't all the same , they don't have a hive-mind and you've probably just spent too much time dwelling on those 'bad/mean' girls. If you are so concerned about losing your virginity then you might as well go to a brothel but really losing your virginity with no one special to you will mean nothing. You're better off losing your virginity to someone who you share a deep loving connection with.


----------



## londonguy202

LoungeFly said:


> Dude, I have known many people who lost their virginity after 22, 25, 27, and even after 30. The fact that you are a virgin at 22 does not mean you will never lose it. That is absolutely not true.


true, Men being virgins is not important as women who are virgins.


----------



## LoungeFly

londonguy202 said:


> true, Men being virgins is not important as women who are virgins.


this doesn't make sense to me.


----------



## dal user

TheDarkGuardian said:


> I don't see any scientific evidence that confirms to absolution that because you're 22 and a virgin that you'll remain that way forever. And girls aren't all the same , they don't have a hive-mind and you've probably just spent too much time dwelling on those 'bad/mean' girls. If you are so concerned about losing your virginity then you might as well go to a brothel but really losing your virginity with no one special to you will mean nothing. You're better off losing your virginity to someone who you share a deep loving connection with.


Right, here goes.

You are right not all girls think the same but when it comes down to sex and they find out theguy is a virgin then they all think the same and act the same. I could bet you that if I went out this weekend to a bar or club looking for a woman to sleep with, lets just say if I woo'd a woman and she found out I was a virgin she wouldn't sleep with me and even if I didn't make them aware, they'd no when it comes down to the sex because I wouldn't know **** the **** im doing. I could bet that all women would react the same as well, when it comes to sex nobody wants to teach people my age how to do it properly because im an adult.

Secondly I dont buy into all this 'lose it to someone you have a deep loving connection with' its bollocks. As crude as this may sound I just wanna sleep around first but due to me being a loser who's never had sex, this will never happen. I wont ever get a girlfriend either because I've never had one before so what chance do I stand now?

Theres other things to take into account as well. Im ugly, awkward and I have no status. I have 5 friends and I dont see them anymore so I never get to go out socially. I've never been clubbing before and in the last 6 years I've had about 2 social invites from friends so im finished, done. Girls wont wanna know me because of this and thats a fact. We dont live in a just world where people are understanding of these things and will give me a chance.

This video is what women think of older male virgins. I mean just listen to how hostile she is and people wonder why I say im doomed.


----------



## dal user

LoungeFly said:


> Dude, I have known many people who lost their virginity after 22, 25, 27, and even after 30. The fact that you are a virgin at 22 does not mean you will never lose it. That is absolutely not true.


And were these people you know guys by any chance?

I bet they didn't lose it to the outgoing social butterfy type girls did they?


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

Rich91 said:


> Right, here goes.
> 
> You are right not all girls think the same but when it comes down to sex and they find out theguy is a virgin then they all think the same and act the same. I could bet you that if I went out this weekend to a bar or club looking for a woman to sleep with, lets just say if I woo'd a woman and she found out I was a virgin she wouldn't sleep with me and even if I didn't make them aware, they'd no when it comes down to the sex because I wouldn't know **** the **** im doing. I could bet that all women would react the same as well, when it comes to sex nobody wants to teach people my age how to do it properly because im an adult.
> 
> Secondly I dont buy into all this 'lose it to someone you have a deep loving connection with' its bollocks. As crude as this may sound I just wanna sleep around first but due to me being a loser who's never had sex, this will never happen. I wont ever get a girlfriend either because I've never had one before so what chance do I stand now?


AskMen, really? You're going to use AskMen as your source of evidence...

AskMen is a terrible site. Yeah it might help here and there with telling men to have self-respect for themselves but at the same time it's a materialistic, yuppie-ish website with a relationships department that hires colonel douchebag who calls himself_ Doctor Love _(notice how the guy is not married)...

What about the girls that are virgins as well, do you think they know what they're doing? If you want so sleep around without having a relationship then why not go to a brothel then? Still, no scientific evidence that confirms to absolution that because you don't have a girlfriend now doesn't mean you will ever get on in the future.



Rich91 said:


> Theres other things to take into account as well. Im ugly, awkward and I have no status. I have 5 friends and I dont see them anymore so I never get to go out socially. I've never been clubbing before and in the last 6 years I've had about 2 social invites from friends so im finished, done. Girls wont wanna know me because of this and thats a fact. We dont live in a just world where people are understanding of these things and will give me a chance.


Why do you want to go clubbing? Clubbing is overrated and unless you love the idea of dancing in dim lights while getting wasted then clubbing is really for those insecure people who have to continutally prove their masteriastic, social worth because they can't think for themselves. You do know there are awkward girls out there as well. You'd be surprise at how many understanding people there are out there in the world, you just haven't found them - friend or partner or whatever. Have you tried just making new friends? Expanding your social circles? Surely there's a meetup group for the socially anxious at your local city.


----------



## LoungeFly

Rich91 said:


> And were these people you know guys by any chance?
> 
> I bet they didn't lose it to the outgoing social butterfy type girls did they?


Yes, some are guys. Professional guys too, good looking, and just didnt have the chance earlier to lose it. Shy, reserved guys. Cant say th e type of person they lost it to, but im not sure that matters? I do know some of tge girls had had previous relationships.

It comes down to the right people, the right ppl will not care how experienced someone is if their into them. Ive had a crush or two on older virgins, and ones who had multiple partners, and in between. Im not going to care if i dig the person, and get along with them.


----------



## dal user

TheDarkGuardian said:


> AskMen, really? You're going to use AskMen as your source of evidence...
> 
> AskMen is a terrible site. Yeah it might help here and there with telling men to have self-respect for themselves but at the same time it's a materialistic, yuppie-ish website with a relationships department that hires colonel douchebag who calls himself_ Doctor Love _(notice how the guy is not married)...
> 
> What about the girls that are virgins as well, do you think they know what they're doing? If you want so sleep around without having a relationship then why not go to a brothel then? Still, no scientific evidence that confirms to absolution that because you don't have a girlfriend now doesn't mean you will ever get on in the future.
> 
> Why do you want to go clubbing? Clubbing is overrated and unless you love the idea of dancing in dim lights while getting wasted then clubbing is really for those insecure people who have to continutally prove their masteriastic, social worth because they can't think for themselves. You do know there are awkward girls out there as well. You'd be surprise at how many understanding people there are out there in the world, you just haven't found them - friend or partner or whatever. Have you tried just making new friends? Expanding your social circles? Surely there's a meetup group for the socially anxious at your local city.


Its impossible to make friends at my age as people have set social circles and dont want newbies. I live in a party city, I highly doubt there is a group for people with SA. Where are these understanding people you speak of?

Dont forget we live in two different parts of the world. I dont see or meet many nice people. A guy I work with said I look down syndrome yesterday and said I'd be on deaths door when im 50, so obviously people dont think much of me.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Rich91 said:


> It was when I was in high school when I was about 14. The girls who said it were in my year so they were my age.


Teenage girls can be cruel. They go for the most popular guys in school.

Adult women are different. If you are still basing your experience in dating off something that happened 8 years ago, you seriously need to work on this in therapy.


----------



## dal user

LoungeFly said:


> Yes, some are guys. *Professional guys too, good looking,* and just didnt have the chance earlier to lose it. Shy, reserved guys. Cant say th e type of person they lost it to, but im not sure that matters? I do know some of tge girls had had previous relationships.
> 
> It comes down to the right people, the right ppl will not care how experienced someone is if their into them. Ive had a crush or two on older virgins, and ones who had multiple partners, and in between. Im not going to care if i dig the person, and get along with them.


Well thats why they lost it then. You said they were professionals and good lookimg too, im not so I dont stand a chance.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Rich91 said:


> Well thats why they lost it then. You said they were professionals and good lookimg too, im not so I dont stand a chance.


God, I hate this attitude. It is all over this ****ing forum, and the reason I want to leave here. This isn't therapeutic at all, it's actually pretty sad.


----------



## dal user

DeeperUnderstanding said:


> God, I hate this attitude. It is all over this ****ing forum, and the reason I want to leave here. This isn't therapeutic at all, it's actually pretty sad.


But its true though. If a woman had to chose between an ugly guy and a good looking guy, shes gonna pick the latter isn't she.


----------



## LoungeFly

:clap


DeeperUnderstanding said:


> God, I hate this attitude. It is all over this ****ing forum, and the reason I want to leave here. This isn't therapeutic at all, it's actually pretty sad.


Fricken co-sign.

All sorts of ppl find others attractive. What one finds attractive, another simply wont.

Stop calling yourself ugly rich, and have a good attitude, and ppl will be drawn to that.


----------



## dal user

LoungeFly said:


> :clap
> 
> Fricken co-sign.
> 
> All sorts of ppl find others attractive. What one finds attractive, another simply wont.
> 
> Stop calling yourself ugly rich, and have a good attitude, and ppl will be drawn to that.


Right okay. I'll take on board your advice and try my best to have a good attitude out in the real world and see how far it gets me.


----------



## Barette

I've only read a couple of posts but I'm going to comment anyway.

Rich, your signature signifies that you don't want any sugarcoated responses so I shall give one. You are a very miserable person and nobody is going to want to be around you with how you are. It has nothing to do with your looks. A lot of people on here are very frustrated with you, and have long ago tired of your posts and attitude. All we get are words, a little peak inside your brain, obviously your looks have nothing to do with this. It's you. What's making a lot of us not care for you is... your personality. You are convinced your life is worthless, pointless, and impossible to improve. Nobody can tell you otherwise because you are set in your ways more than a leaf dried into cement. And you will never have a good life until you change your mind. Never. You are dismissive of others and oftentimes rude and sometimes even combative. I don't respond to you or try and help you for that reason, because it's useless and because I don't see you as having any hope. Nothing to do with your looks. Entirely with your brain. We are getting an objective impression of you. So guess what? Your problem is you're unlikable, if you were a character in a movie I wouldn't root for you. I'd turn the movie off, because I don't want to listen to someone complain all the time without accepting anybody's answer. You right off anything positive as sugarcoating, you just want someone to mirror your own thoughts that you have the worst life evar. When, sorry dude, you don't. You don't have a nice life and I wouldn't like your life but jesus christ get over yourself. I think if you woke up and suddenly liked your face you would still be difficult to be around because of your personality, I think it would still hold you back. Because there are plenty of people who are miserable, hate themselves, are unhappy, had horrible things happen to them either externally or internally, and they are not nearly as difficult and thick-headed as you.

That is not sugarcoated in the least. If it's rude I'll edit it but he seems to want honest answers and I gave one.


----------



## Perkins

^^^ I must agree with Barette.


----------



## Consider

Barette said:


> I've only read a couple of posts but I'm going to comment anyway.
> 
> Rich, your signature signifies that you don't want any sugarcoated responses so I shall give one. You are a very miserable person and nobody is going to want to be around you with how you are. It has nothing to do with your looks. A lot of people on here are very frustrated with you, and have long ago tired of your posts and attitude. All we get are words, a little peak inside your brain, obviously your looks have nothing to do with this. It's you. What's making a lot of us not care for you is... your personality. You are convinced your life is worthless, pointless, and impossible to improve. Nobody can tell you otherwise because you are set in your ways more than a leaf dried into cement. And you will never have a good life until you change your mind. Never. You are dismissive of others and oftentimes rude and sometimes even combative. I don't respond to you or try and help you for that reason, because it's useless and because I don't see you as having any hope. Nothing to do with your looks. Entirely with your brain. We are getting an objective impression of you. So guess what? Your problem is you're unlikable, if you were a character in a movie I wouldn't root for you. I'd turn the movie off, because I don't want to listen to someone complain all the time without accepting anybody's answer. You right off anything positive as sugarcoating, you just want someone to mirror your own thoughts that you have the worst life evar. When, sorry dude, you don't. You don't have a nice life and I wouldn't like your life but jesus christ get over yourself. I think if you woke up and suddenly liked your face you would still be difficult to be around because of your personality, I think it would still hold you back. Because there are plenty of people who are miserable, hate themselves, are unhappy, had horrible things happen to them either externally or internally, and they are not nearly as difficult and thick-headed as you.
> 
> That is not sugarcoated in the least. If it's rude I'll edit it but he seems to want honest answers and I gave one.


lol, i await the personal attack that will be inevitably birthed from this awesome post.

*golf clap*


----------



## Valtron

The guy I'm dating now is a virgin, and so am I. The first kiss was a little awkward (in a cute way), as we both are very inexperienced. But we got through it, and we'll get through other things too. It does makes things a little slower, but I'm not the least bit bothered. We'll take our time to explore.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

Funny how when I post out against Rich it's called lashing out but when Barette does it it's called truthful. It is though. And Rich,


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Barette said:


> I've only read a couple of posts but I'm going to comment anyway.
> 
> Rich, your signature signifies that you don't want any sugarcoated responses so I shall give one. You are a very miserable person and nobody is going to want to be around you with how you are. It has nothing to do with your looks. A lot of people on here are very frustrated with you, and have long ago tired of your posts and attitude. All we get are words, a little peak inside your brain, obviously your looks have nothing to do with this. It's you. What's making a lot of us not care for you is... your personality. You are convinced your life is worthless, pointless, and impossible to improve. Nobody can tell you otherwise because you are set in your ways more than a leaf dried into cement. And you will never have a good life until you change your mind. Never. You are dismissive of others and oftentimes rude and sometimes even combative. I don't respond to you or try and help you for that reason, because it's useless and because I don't see you as having any hope. Nothing to do with your looks. Entirely with your brain. We are getting an objective impression of you. So guess what? Your problem is you're unlikable, if you were a character in a movie I wouldn't root for you. I'd turn the movie off, because I don't want to listen to someone complain all the time without accepting anybody's answer. You right off anything positive as sugarcoating, you just want someone to mirror your own thoughts that you have the worst life evar. When, sorry dude, you don't. You don't have a nice life and I wouldn't like your life but jesus christ get over yourself. I think if you woke up and suddenly liked your face you would still be difficult to be around because of your personality, I think it would still hold you back. Because there are plenty of people who are miserable, hate themselves, are unhappy, had horrible things happen to them either externally or internally, and they are not nearly as difficult and thick-headed as you.
> 
> That is not sugarcoated in the least. If it's rude I'll edit it but he seems to want honest answers and I gave one.


You put it much, much better than I ever could. Co-sign.


----------



## Alone75

Barette said:


> I've only read a couple of posts but I'm going to comment anyway.
> 
> Rich, your signature signifies that you don't want any sugarcoated responses so I shall give one. You are a very miserable person and nobody is going to want to be around you with how you are. It has nothing to do with your looks. A lot of people on here are very frustrated with you, and have long ago tired of your posts and attitude. All we get are words, a little peak inside your brain, obviously your looks have nothing to do with this. It's you. What's making a lot of us not care for you is... your personality. You are convinced your life is worthless, pointless, and impossible to improve. Nobody can tell you otherwise because you are set in your ways more than a leaf dried into cement. And you will never have a good life until you change your mind. Never. You are dismissive of others and oftentimes rude and sometimes even combative. I don't respond to you or try and help you for that reason, because it's useless and because I don't see you as having any hope. Nothing to do with your looks. Entirely with your brain. We are getting an objective impression of you. So guess what? Your problem is you're unlikable, if you were a character in a movie I wouldn't root for you. I'd turn the movie off, because I don't want to listen to someone complain all the time without accepting anybody's answer. You right off anything positive as sugarcoating, you just want someone to mirror your own thoughts that you have the worst life evar. When, sorry dude, you don't. You don't have a nice life and I wouldn't like your life but jesus christ get over yourself. I think if you woke up and suddenly liked your face you would still be difficult to be around because of your personality, I think it would still hold you back. Because there are plenty of people who are miserable, hate themselves, are unhappy, had horrible things happen to them either externally or internally, and they are not nearly as difficult and thick-headed as you.
> 
> That is not sugarcoated in the least. If it's rude I'll edit it but he seems to want honest answers and I gave one.


Of course he acts this way, as he is obviously very depressed, has a poor self-image and is extremely negative. I think he needs meds and therapy to help if he isn't already.

You're the one who needs to get over themselves, this is supposed to be a support site for "socially anxious" men as well as women! Try showing some support or ignore his kind of posts, simple!


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

AceP said:


> Of course he acts this way, as he is obviously very depressed, has a poor self-image and is extremely negative. I think he needs meds and therapy to help if he isn't already.
> 
> You're the one who needs to get over themselves, this is supposed to be a support site for "socially anxious" men as well as women! Try showing some support or ignore his kind of posts, simple!


Give me a break. She is a fine poster, been here a long time and always given helpful advice.

I'm socially anxious, 9 years older than him, and in the same situation. But you don't hear me saying that I will never get a girl. He's 22, it's not like he's 92. He's in the age range to date a hot 19 year old girl who is most likely inexperienced. Me, at 31, can't date a 19 year old, or at least the 19 year old wouldn't want to date me.

It's frankly insulting to hear a 22 year old boy who is just out of his teens complaining about how he's never going to have sex. Most likely, he is still in college, and he has plenty of time to catch up. And all these 22 year old or 25 year old or virgins in their 20's are complaining about something that they can easily explain away at their age.

Barette is just talking about what she experiences, as a woman. I feel this forum is a cesspool of these bitter and angry men.


----------



## Barette

AceP said:


> Of course he acts this way, as he is obviously very depressed, has a poor self-image and is extremely negative. I think he needs meds and therapy to help if he isn't already.
> 
> You're the one who needs to get over themselves, this is supposed to be a support site for "socially anxious" men as well as women! Try showing some support or ignore his kind of posts, simple!


The thing about mental illness is that anybody can get it. That means that any personality type can get it. Having a mental issue does not excuse your treatment of others, and does not negate any poor personality traits. You can be rude and mentally ill. You can be kind and mentally ill. You can be anywhere in between, and mentally ill. On a site that is pretty much _for_ the mentally ill, you can see that wide rainbow of personality traits. There are members on here who are in places of absolute misery but treat others with respect and politeness when offered advice (which may mean just not acknowledging the advice), even if they don't think the advice is helpful or applicable. I have been where Rich is, I have been suicidal, I have hated myself---there are many people on here who have been there. His feeling like that does not grant him special privileges of conduct. He acts this way because he is a rude, self-centered, and myopic person who happens to be mentally ill. I was in inpatient and saw people whose illness bred great empathy and kindness because they knew what it's like to have hell in your mind, and wanted to help others with that hell. And when they expressed that hell, they didn't shoot down any advice or poo-poo anything that didn't just echo their own thoughts (not saying he needs to be a saint, but just a decent human---he doesn't get a pass on that, I hate when people think their awful life gives them the excuse to treat others awfully, because most other people have awful lives too---trust, it's selfish to think otherwise, especially since on an SA site a lot of people make shallow assumptions based off of first impressions).
I've met people like him who were completely mentally sane---it's just a bad personality trait. He has that, but also happens to have depression and very low self-esteem and w/e else. If he didn't have depression or self-esteem then he would still have those personality traits and that would still make him an undesirable person imo. So there he goes. I'm a woman who would never want him because of who he is, not because of what he looks like. I don't know what he looks like. I just don't like who he is.

Again, he wants honest, and I am giving honest.


----------



## Elad

Rich91 said:


> Im a virgin at 22 so I'll never be able to get laid and I'll be alone forever. Its not my attitude, its the fact im still a virgin at 22. Looks like I'll end up at a brothel cos I aint gonna get nothing. Girls are too picky and stuck up these days and once they find out a guy is a virgin, well pffffft lets just say that guy isn't getting any ever.


I'm not reading 300 posts in this thread, but I have to say your attitude is the thing holding you back more than your looks. (which I'm sure you read hundreds of times now)

The world isn't going to mold itself around how you feel or pander to your insecurities to make things happen. Its up to you to mold yourself and adapt accordingly, if you're unwilling to do so then you only have yourself to blame, as harsh as it sounds.


----------



## Alone75

DeeperUnderstanding said:


> Give me a break. She is a fine poster, been here a long time and always given helpful advice.
> 
> I'm socially anxious, 9 years older than him, and in the same situation. But you don't hear me saying that I will never get a girl. He's 22, it's not like he's 92. He's in the age range to date a hot 19 year old girl who is most likely inexperienced. Me, at 31, can't date a 19 year old, or at least the 19 year old wouldn't want to date me.
> 
> It's frankly insulting to hear a 22 year old boy who is just out of his teens complaining about how he's never going to have sex. Most likely, he is still in college, and he has plenty of time to catch up. And all these 22 year old or 25 year old or virgins in their 20's are complaining about something that they can easily explain away at their age.
> 
> Barette is just talking about what she experiences, as a woman. I feel this forum is a cesspool of these bitter and angry men.


Well I'm much older than Rich and still a virgin [and not happy about it] and it annoys me too, when he says things like "22 and my life is over, too late to get laid now, blah blah!.. 
But I felt the same at his age, man I was even depressed as hell at 16 when everyone at school seemed to have lost their virginity except ME!

At the end of the day this is a support site, if a poster really annoys you report them or ignore I think. Imagine how he'll feel when he reads Barette's reply, she may be a respected poster and think she's smart but that doesn't change my opinion!


----------



## Barette

I figure if he's so desperate for an honest answer then I was going to give one, especially from a woman's perspective. At a certain point I do agree that sugar pointing is counterproductive, you're not addressing the actual issue. IMO, the actual issue is who he is as a person.


----------



## probably offline

Barette said:


> I've only read a couple of posts but I'm going to comment anyway.
> 
> Rich, your signature signifies that you don't want any sugarcoated responses so I shall give one. You are a very miserable person and nobody is going to want to be around you with how you are. It has nothing to do with your looks. A lot of people on here are very frustrated with you, and have long ago tired of your posts and attitude. All we get are words, a little peak inside your brain, obviously your looks have nothing to do with this. It's you. What's making a lot of us not care for you is... your personality. You are convinced your life is worthless, pointless, and impossible to improve. Nobody can tell you otherwise because you are set in your ways more than a leaf dried into cement. And you will never have a good life until you change your mind. Never. You are dismissive of others and oftentimes rude and sometimes even combative. I don't respond to you or try and help you for that reason, because it's useless and because I don't see you as having any hope. Nothing to do with your looks. Entirely with your brain. We are getting an objective impression of you. So guess what? Your problem is you're unlikable, if you were a character in a movie I wouldn't root for you. I'd turn the movie off, because I don't want to listen to someone complain all the time without accepting anybody's answer. You right off anything positive as sugarcoating, you just want someone to mirror your own thoughts that you have the worst life evar. When, sorry dude, you don't. You don't have a nice life and I wouldn't like your life but jesus christ get over yourself. I think if you woke up and suddenly liked your face you would still be difficult to be around because of your personality, I think it would still hold you back. Because there are plenty of people who are miserable, hate themselves, are unhappy, had horrible things happen to them either externally or internally, and they are not nearly as difficult and thick-headed as you.
> 
> That is not sugarcoated in the least. If it's rude I'll edit it but he seems to want honest answers and I gave one.


I'm glad someone else said it.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

So I guess this is the part where we await the return of Rich91?


----------



## SilentLyric

Valtron said:


> The guy I'm dating now is a virgin, and so am I. The first kiss was a little awkward (in a cute way), as we both are very inexperienced. But we got through it, and we'll get through other things too. It does makes things a little slower, but I'm not the least bit bothered. We'll take our time to explore.


this is kind of off topic, but this is the cutest thing ever.


----------



## DubnRun

I only talk like conversation a month if im lucky so no point even trying, too brain damaged now.


----------



## dal user

Elad said:


> I'm not reading 300 posts in this thread, but I have to say your attitude is the thing holding you back more than your looks. (which I'm sure you read hundreds of times now)
> 
> *The world isn't going to mold itself around how you feel or pander to your insecurities to make things happen. Its up to you to mold yourself and adapt accordingly, if you're unwilling to do so then you only have yourself to blame, as harsh as it sounds.*


exactly and this is why girls wont get with me because im a virgin and it would make them feel so wrong about me being their first.

you dont even properly know what I look so you and others here cant be so certain that its my attitude thats holding me back.


----------



## Sacrieur

Rich91 said:


> exactly and this is why girls wont get with me because im a virgin and it would make them feel so wrong about me being their first.
> 
> you dont even properly know what I look so you and others here cant be so certain that its my attitude thats holding me back.


Your attitude isn't what is holding you back, but it is what's stopping you from moving forward.


----------



## dal user

Barette said:


> I've only read a couple of posts but I'm going to comment anyway.
> 
> Rich, your signature signifies that you don't want any sugarcoated responses so I shall give one. You are a very miserable person and nobody is going to want to be around you with how you are. It has nothing to do with your looks. A lot of people on here are very frustrated with you, and have long ago tired of your posts and attitude. All we get are words, a little peak inside your brain, obviously your looks have nothing to do with this. It's you. What's making a lot of us not care for you is... your personality. You are convinced your life is worthless, pointless, and impossible to improve. Nobody can tell you otherwise because you are set in your ways more than a leaf dried into cement. And you will never have a good life until you change your mind. Never. You are dismissive of others and oftentimes rude and sometimes even combative. I don't respond to you or try and help you for that reason, because it's useless and because I don't see you as having any hope. Nothing to do with your looks. Entirely with your brain. We are getting an objective impression of you. So guess what? Your problem is you're unlikable, if you were a character in a movie I wouldn't root for you. I'd turn the movie off, because I don't want to listen to someone complain all the time without accepting anybody's answer. You right off anything positive as sugarcoating, you just want someone to mirror your own thoughts that you have the worst life evar. When, sorry dude, you don't. You don't have a nice life and I wouldn't like your life but jesus christ get over yourself. I think if you woke up and suddenly liked your face you would still be difficult to be around because of your personality, I think it would still hold you back. Because there are plenty of people who are miserable, hate themselves, are unhappy, had horrible things happen to them either externally or internally, and they are not nearly as difficult and thick-headed as you.
> 
> That is not sugarcoated in the least. If it's rude I'll edit it but he seems to want honest answers and I gave one.


Well ****ing hell. Finally a post that is completely honest. I dont even wanna dig my grave even more and argue back because its true what you said. In my opinion its not rude because I've always said I wanna hear the truth and its took months for someone to state it.

I agree with most of what you said. Heres the thing though and not attacking you here. Didn't you have jaw surgery because you were self concsious of the way you looked beforehand?

I dont even know what you are like as a person as I've never met you but if you really are the person you say are and have qualities that makes people approach you why did you, if looks dont mean a thing have the surgery?

If it was for medical reasons then I shouldn't of asked, if it was ignore that question. If it was for cosmetic reasons then obviously looks do sort of matter to you and your personality probably didn't mean much to people then?

I dont know anyway. One thing I do know is you've provec me right in what I've been saying for a long time. No wonder people cant be bothered with me and act evasive when round me. Me being difficult to be around must mean I could be mentally challenged or retarded then, god knows.



TheDarkGuardian said:


> Funny how when I post out against Rich it's called lashing out but when Barette does it it's called truthful. It is though. And Rich,


you've not lashed out bro. Ignore those who said you have.



AceP said:


> Of course he acts this way, as he is obviously very depressed, has a poor self-image and is extremely negative. I think he needs meds and therapy to help if he isn't already.
> 
> You're the one who needs to get over themselves, this is supposed to be a support site for "socially anxious" men as well as women! Try showing some support or ignore his kind of posts, simple!


Thats true as well. Barette can come accross rude at times.



DeeperUnderstanding said:


> Give me a break. She is a fine poster, been here a long time and always given helpful advice.
> 
> I'm socially anxious, 9 years older than him, and in the same situation. But you don't hear me saying that I will never get a girl. He's 22, it's not like he's 92. He's in the age range to date a hot 19 year old girl who is most likely inexperienced. Me, at 31, can't date a 19 year old, or at least the 19 year old wouldn't want to date me.
> 
> It's frankly insulting to hear a 22 year old boy who is just out of his teens complaining about how he's never going to have sex. Most likely, he is still in college, and he has plenty of time to catch up. And all these 22 year old or 25 year old or virgins in their 20's are complaining about something that they can easily explain away at their age.
> 
> Barette is just talking about what she experiences, as a woman. I feel this forum is a cesspool of these bitter and angry men.


That is the most over exagerated thing ever. I can guarantee I'd never be either of those things you mentioned. I go gym tonight bro and I've not once thought of doing anything that drastic, I mean I know everyone who goes there and its a laugh.



Barette said:


> The thing about mental illness is that anybody can get it. That means that any personality type can get it. Having a mental issue does not excuse your treatment of others, and does not negate any poor personality traits. You can be rude and mentally ill. You can be kind and mentally ill. You can be anywhere in between, and mentally ill. On a site that is pretty much _for_ the mentally ill, you can see that wide rainbow of personality traits. There are members on here who are in places of absolute misery but treat others with respect and politeness when offered advice (which may mean just not acknowledging the advice), even if they don't think the advice is helpful or applicable. I have been where Rich is, I have been suicidal, I have hated myself---there are many people on here who have been there. His feeling like that does not grant him special privileges of conduct. He acts this way because he is a rude, self-centered, and myopic person who happens to be mentally ill. I was in inpatient and saw people whose illness bred great empathy and kindness because they knew what it's like to have hell in your mind, and wanted to help others with that hell. And when they expressed that hell, they didn't shoot down any advice or poo-poo anything that didn't just echo their own thoughts (not saying he needs to be a saint, but just a decent human---he doesn't get a pass on that, I hate when people think their awful life gives them the excuse to treat others awfully, because most other people have awful lives too---trust, it's selfish to think otherwise, especially since on an SA site a lot of people make shallow assumptions based off of first impressions).
> I've met people like him who were completely mentally sane---it's just a bad personality trait. He has that, but also happens to have depression and very low self-esteem and w/e else. If he didn't have depression or self-esteem then he would still have those personality traits and that would still make him an undesirable person imo. *So there he goes. I'm a woman who would never want him because of who he is, not because of what he looks like. I don't know what he looks like. I just don't like who he is.*
> 
> Again, he wants honest, and I am giving honest.


So if you dont know what I look like how can you be so certain its not my looks thats holding me back?

So what am I supposed to be like then as a person?

you've been rude yourself sometimes towards me so dont try and take the moral high ground. I imagine from what I've seen you say here you'd be the evasive stuck up 'im too good for most guys' type.


----------



## tbyrfan

DeeperUnderstanding said:


> I feel this forum is a cesspool of these bitter and angry men.


This is a pretty misguided thing to say.


----------



## Farideh

I prefer guys who already had sex. Not with a bunch of women though. God no. Too bad I won't find out about that part.


----------



## dal user

Paloma M said:


> I prefer guys who already had sex. Not with a bunch of women though. God no. Too bad I won't find out about that part.


Well here you have it folks

I keep telling you guys what its like but you wont listen.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

Rich91 said:


> Well here you have it folks
> 
> I keep telling you guys what its like but you wont listen.


She's just one person. Sheesh.


----------



## dal user

TheDarkGuardian said:


> She's just one person. Sheesh.


But its a majority thing


----------



## Barette

Rich91 said:


> Well ****ing hell. Finally a post that is completely honest. I dont even wanna dig my grave even more and argue back because its true what you said. In my opinion its not rude because I've always said I wanna hear the truth and its took months for someone to state it.
> 
> I agree with most of what you said. Heres the thing though and not attacking you here. Didn't you have jaw surgery because you were self concsious of the way you looked beforehand?
> 
> I dont even know what you are like as a person as I've never met you but if you really are the person you say are and have qualities that makes people approach you why did you, if looks dont mean a thing have the surgery?
> 
> If it was for medical reasons then I shouldn't of asked, if it was ignore that question. If it was for cosmetic reasons then obviously looks do sort of matter to you and your personality probably didn't mean much to people then?
> 
> I dont know anyway. One thing I do know is you've provec me right in what I've been saying for a long time. No wonder people cant be bothered with me and act evasive when round me. Me being difficult to be around must mean I could be mentally challenged or retarded then, god knows.
> 
> ...
> 
> So if you dont know what I look like how can you be so certain its not my looks thats holding me back?
> 
> So what am I supposed to be like then as a person?
> 
> you've been rude yourself sometimes towards me so dont try and take the moral high ground. I imagine from what I've seen you say here you'd be the evasive stuck up 'im too good for most guys' type.


I was nice to you at the beginning and tried to help you. You continue to do the same thing, say the same thing, and now have progressed towards putting down women or generalizing the female gender and have frustrated me time and time again (even by my just seeing your posts dominate a thread, like they often do), and so I don't like you so I don't feel the need to be kind or understanding. So yes I am rude to you sometimes.

Yes I had surgery, twice, and both times were for cosmetic reasons. I have BDD, it used to be a lot worse and that's why I had surgery, as a last resort measure towards finding ways to deal with living. I know what it is like to hate your face. I can empathize. In my opinion that makes my opinion more valuable rather than invalidates it. 
Have I ever said that looks don't mean a thing? I said that I don't know what you look like and I said that based off of your personality and the sense I have of your being based off of your posts, I don't like you and that is void of any influence that looks could have. I didn't say they don't mean a thing, I said they're not related to my opinion of you. I don't want to date someone I'm not attracted to. Looks have a large part to do with attraction. But so does personality. People appreciate and love beauty, it's a major part of life, so even outside of dating, looks mean something. But a person's worth does not hinge upon their looks, nor does their happiness. I don't think that looks matter in terms of who a person is, I think it's the least valuable part of a person. What's more valuable is who they are, their character, morals, intelligence, etc. In dating, those things matter just as much, if not more, than looks. So even if you had looks, I still wouldn't be interested in knowing you, nor would most women on here. That's what I'm saying.

And my personality did mean much to people, but I had/have a mental illness. That clouds judgement, obviously. If mental illness didn't impair anybody's life then it would be no more difficult to live with than a cold. But it does impair people's lives, and it impaired mine greatly. The surgeries was my attempt at a fix. It didn't work. So if I couldn't fix my looks, what did I fix? My mind. And now I'm reasonably okay. And people really like me because I have an engaging personality.

And like I said, your victimizing yourself and self-centered self-pitying is bothersome. I said you're unlikable to me, that doesn't mean you're retarded. By telling yourself that, you're giving yourself a limit to how far you can change. You're telling yourself, why bother? I'm retarded. I said you have a distasteful personality, but you can learn to present yourself better in terms of socializing and not coming off as abrasive or rude or patronizing or w/e else. But I guess if you're retarded, then you don't need to bother bettering yourself, am I right? It's just another thing in the world stacked against you, am I right? It's another reason you can't change, but is also another thing to endlessly complain about without needing to put in effort to changing, am I right?

And I'm not going to tell you what to be like as a person because I don't have authority like that, that'd be pretty egotistical of me. I'm just saying, I don't like you, a lot of people on here don't like you, and that's why. You can either say, whatever, y'all can deal with it, and then we'd just keep on with our opinions as long as you kept on with your posts. Or, you can consider ways to improve yourself and maybe that'll carry on into real life. I don't know, it's your life. I'm giving you my honest opinion.



Rich91 said:


> But its a majority thing


You haven't had sex, a relationship, or even female friends so you do not have the ability to make a judgement like that.


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## TheDarkGuardian

rich91 said:


> but its a majority thing


f**k da majority
p.s. Paloma's christian so....


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## dal user

Barette said:


> I was nice to you at the beginning and tried to help you. You continue to do the same thing, say the same thing, and now have progressed towards putting down women or generalizing the female gender and have frustrated me time and time again (even by my just seeing your posts dominate a thread, like they often do), and so I don't like you so I don't feel the need to be kind or understanding. So yes I am rude to you sometimes.
> 
> Yes I had surgery, twice, and both times were for cosmetic reasons. I have BDD, it used to be a lot worse and that's why I had surgery, as a last resort measure towards finding ways to deal with living. I know what it is like to hate your face. I can empathize. In my opinion that makes my opinion more valuable rather than invalidates it.
> Have I ever said that looks don't mean a thing? I said that I don't know what you look like and I said that based off of your personality and the sense I have of your being based off of your posts, I don't like you and that is void of any influence that looks could have. I didn't say they don't mean a thing, I said they're not related to my opinion of you. I don't want to date someone I'm not attracted to. Looks have a large part to do with attraction. But so does personality. People appreciate and love beauty, it's a major part of life, so even outside of dating, looks mean something. But a person's worth does not hinge upon their looks, nor does their happiness. I don't think that looks matter in terms of who a person is, I think it's the least valuable part of a person. What's more valuable is who they are, their character, morals, intelligence, etc. In dating, those things matter just as much, if not more, than looks. So even if you had looks, I still wouldn't be interested in knowing you, nor would most women on here. That's what I'm saying.
> 
> And my personality did mean much to people, but I had/have a mental illness. That clouds judgement, obviously. If mental illness didn't impair anybody's life then it would be no more difficult to live with than a cold. But it does impair people's lives, and it impaired mine greatly. The surgeries was my attempt at a fix. It didn't work. So if I couldn't fix my looks, what did I fix? My mind. And now I'm reasonably okay. And people really like me because I have an engaging personality.
> 
> And like I said, your victimizing yourself and self-centered self-pitying is bothersome. I said you're unlikable to me, that doesn't mean you're retarded. By telling yourself that, you're giving yourself a limit to how far you can change. You're telling yourself, why bother? I'm retarded. I said you have a distasteful personality, but you can learn to present yourself better in terms of socializing and not coming off as abrasive or rude or patronizing or w/e else. But I guess if you're retarded, then you don't need to bother bettering yourself, am I right? It's just another thing in the world stacked against you, am I right? It's another reason you can't change, but is also another thing to endlessly complain about without needing to put in effort to changing, am I right?
> 
> And I'm not going to tell you what to be like as a person because I don't have authority like that, that'd be pretty egotistical of me. I'm just saying, I don't like you, a lot of people on here don't like you, and that's why. You can either say, whatever, y'all can deal with it, and then we'd just keep on with our opinions as long as you kept on with your posts. Or, you can consider ways to improve yourself and maybe that'll carry on into real life. I don't know, it's your life. I'm giving you my honest opinion.
> 
> You haven't had sex, a relationship, or even female friends so you do not have the ability to make a judgement like that.


So who are these other people here who dont like me?

Im from a completely different part of the world to you so things are different, attitudes are different, the lifestyle is different. Maybe im just a straight up ****hole off my own back or maybe im a product of where I grew up.

The way you think you can just openly admit that you've been rude because you dont like what isay pisses me off, yet you have an amazing personality which draws people to you dont ya? If you dont like what I post, dont read it then and take your own advice and get over it.

Your right I dont have much of an ability to talk on things like that but I do know what the majority of women want as I've heard first hand myself. I used to be a nice guy but where did it get me?

So I had to switch things up a bit and start being more of a c*n* towards people and guess what, some people dont **** with me anymore because I stand my ground. I like chattin to people sometimes but I just think they dont wanna chat to me. If they dont ten **** em.

You say how much you hate me and all that and seem to be convinced that everyone else does too, something I've been trying to convince people for ages, so thank you on proving me right on that. Im pretty annoyed tbh at how much you seem to bicker at me, I liked your first post as it was the harsh truth and you hit the nail right on the head but then ruin it for yourself by bickering and telling me how much you hate me.

You even said yourself you were like me once so people probably hated you too. Like I said anyway if I piss you off that much then why do you read my posts?


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## r77115

Rainbat said:


> I think the stigma against male virgins is not necessarily the fact that they haven't had sex, it's the qualities they often possess that likely prevented them from having sex in the first place.
> 
> No reasonably attractive and otherwise competent guy would have any issue finding a significant other, virgin or not. Even if you're 40+.
> 
> It's the unattractive qualities that most male virgins have that gets the bad rep. They're often unkempt, awkward, and generally unpleasant to interact with for long periods of time.
> 
> You get greasy guys with B.O. who walk up to women with their fedora and unkempt facial hair and simply leer at them for several minutes while breathing heavily. _That_ is what's unattractive, not the fact that they haven't slept with anyone.


I think this is spot on!


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## Barette

Rich91 said:


> So who are these other people here who dont like me?
> 
> Im from a completely different part of the world to you so things are different, attitudes are different, the lifestyle is different. Maybe im just a straight up ****hole off my own back or maybe im a product of where I grew up.
> 
> The way you think you can just openly admit that you've been rude because you dont like what isay pisses me off, yet you have an amazing personality which draws people to you dont ya? If you dont like what I post, dont read it then and take your own advice and get over it.
> 
> Your right I dont have much of an ability to talk on things like that but I do know what the majority of women want as I've heard first hand myself. I used to be a nice guy but where did it get me?
> 
> So I had to switch things up a bit and start being more of a c*n* towards people and guess what, some people dont **** with me anymore because I stand my ground. I like chattin to people sometimes but I just think they dont wanna chat to me. If they dont ten **** em.
> 
> You say how much you hate me and all that and seem to be convinced that everyone else does too, something I've been trying to convince people for ages, so thank you on proving me right on that. Im pretty annoyed tbh at how much you seem to bicker at me, I liked your first post as it was the harsh truth and you hit the nail right on the head but then ruin it for yourself by bickering and telling me how much you hate me.
> 
> You even said yourself you were like me once so people probably hated you too. Like I said anyway if I piss you off that much then why do you read my posts?


_Aaaaaaannnnd _there it is. The good ole attitude of good ole Rich.

That's it folks, goodnight.


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## TheDarkGuardian

Barette said:


> _Aaaaaaannnnd _there it is. The good ole attitude of good ole Rich.
> 
> That's it folks, goodnight.


^


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## Rixy

Did you know that Childish Gambino was a virgin until 21? And that Chris Jericho didn't lose his until he was 24 when he was a huge star in Mexico - not only that but he lasted like 10 seconds...

What? I wanted to inject some levity into this place :b


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## dal user

Rixy said:


> Did you know that Childish Gambino was a virgin until 21? And that Chris Jericho didn't lose his until he was 24 when he was a huge star in Mexico - not only that but he lasted like 10 seconds...
> 
> What? I wanted to inject some levity into this place :b


Thats nlt true is it?


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## dal user

Sacrieur said:


> Your attitude isn't what is holding you back, but it is what's stopping you from moving forward.


Maybe you're right


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## Rixy

Rich91 said:


> Thats nlt true is it?


Yes.






Around 1:30ish

As for Jericho:

http://www.f4wonline.com/component/content/article/4374/



> Like all these things &#8230; pooping my pants on a plane in Mexico - yes, the mighty Chris Jericho pooped his pants! Even, you know, losing my virginity in thirteen seconds to a super-hot beer model. Like, all of these things are part of my life, and they happened as a result of wrestling - but not in the wrestling ring.


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## r77115

@Rich91 I think Barette was trying to help you. She is right in that your attitude is extremely negative, and a lot of people here were only trying to help you. A negative attitude is going to be a definite turn off to women. You are only 22 and complaining about being a virgin. 22 is so young. I don't know who you are listening to or who is influencing you, but you are allowing yourself to be brainwashed by lies and false ideas about how you are 'supposed' to be.

The problem is you insist on believing only what you want to believe, and anything to the contrary, you dismiss. There is no helping you when you are so closed-minded about an issue.


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## r77115

Rixy said:


> Did you know that Childish Gambino was a virgin until 21? And that Chris Jericho didn't lose his until he was 24 when he was a huge star in Mexico - not only that but he lasted like 10 seconds...
> 
> What? I wanted to inject some levity into this place :b


@Rich91 You don't really hear about negative experiences like the above as guys rarely talk about them. Most of the time if you hear anything at all, you are only going to hear about positives ones. This is part of the reason why you are allowing yourself to be brainwashed, because you are only hearing one side of the story, as well as you also have a bad habit of confirmation bias.


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## dal user

Rixy said:


> Yes.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Around 1:30ish
> 
> As for Jericho:
> 
> http://www.f4wonline.com/component/content/article/4374/


Listen to the way they speak to him after he announces it though. It just makes me feel like **** even though its not me.


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## londonguy202

Rich91 said:


> This video is what women think of older male virgins. I mean just listen to how hostile she is and people wonder why I say im doomed.


The Video above from askmen website is exactly why I will never ever tell a women I am a virgin. It really does not matter. We all know how to have sex. It will come naturally. As I get older Sex is not a big reason to have a GF. It is someone I can go to movies with or just dine and enjoy her company.


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## dal user

r77115 said:


> @Rich91 I think Barette was trying to help you. She is right in that your attitude is extremely negative, and a lot of people here were only trying to help you. A negative attitude is going to be a definite turn off to women. You are only 22 and complaining about being a virgin. 22 is so young. I don't know who you are listening to or who is influencing you, but you are allowing yourself to be brainwashed by lies and false ideas about how you are 'supposed' to be.
> 
> The problem is you insist on believing only what you want to believe, and anything to the contrary, you dismiss. There is no helping you when you are so closed-minded about an issue.


I dont know what I am or who I am anymore and it frustrates me hence why im so negative and miserable.

Its societies view on virgins at my age that makes me feel the way I do. I want to believe what people here say but then I go out into ths real world and its different. Theres much more than this whole thing that grinds me down too.


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## shyvr6

Conflicts/Off topic


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