# How to not get attached to therapist?



## crybaby97 (Jan 14, 2017)

I feel super attached to my therapist because I've been seeing them for a really long time and don't really share my feelings with anyone else. It's not a weird kind of attachment or even a crush, but I still wonder if it's normal.


----------



## The Library of Emma (Mar 3, 2016)

I can see why it would happen. It's not something i've experienced myself, but as long as you aren't obsessed with them i think it is fine.


----------



## crybaby97 (Jan 14, 2017)

Sometimes I imagine conversations with them in a therapy setting, I think that might be a little strange lol..


----------



## Kandice (Jan 26, 2017)

I started seeing a therapist last month and I feel like I'll feel the same way in time. Right now, I am reluctant to share my feelings but I feel like my therapist is going to break me down and I'll end up being attached to him.
I don't share my feelings with anyone else either.


----------



## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

That is good, you feel comfortable with them. Don't see any harm if they're helping you.


----------



## slyfox (Nov 18, 2007)

Sorry about my long post, but thought I would share because I am definitely having trouble with being too attached to my current therapist and having anxiety about who I'll get next if I go to a new therapist(looking likely).

He's into video games, nerdy, understanding(or at least used to be ) and in general fun to talk to. He recently is pushing for me to go to someone else since supposedly he doesn't think he is helping me enough and and he doesn't think I can see him enough with my insurance.

Started last year when he over scheduled me by accident and I ran out of visits for the year. He offered to see me pro bono to finish the year but would push that I should go someplace where I could have more visits. I figured he just was trying to get out of seeing me for free even though it was his mistake and he made the offer. Since my disability hearing was coming up I told him I would prefer not to switch, so he agreed to it.

When this year started I was happy because my insurance would pay again and I thought this would be all over. I was hurt though on my first visit of the year that he was pushing that I should go someplace else because I would only be allowed 12-15 visits a year. I really didn't want my session time wasted discussing that. 

Then my second session of this year, I told him how I had just been denied disability and was really upset. He started pushing for me to do a work rehabilitation program. I told him I didn't feel I could keep a job with my problems and wanted to wait until I was finished appealing my disability. I also didn't want to risk my appeal by being hired someplace when I didn't think I could keep the job long-term. Even though I said I wanted to explore being self-employed from home in the meantime, he basically said he thought I was being unwilling to try and he didn't think there was much more he could do for me. I was noticeably upset. He calmed down a little bit with me talking more about being self-employed.

I definitely am attached to him because I find him to be a fun to talk to therapist, but clearly he must not like dealing with me. I think my occasional suicidal tendencies add to him wanting me out of his hands. If he pushes again next visit I'm done with him though. Gives me anxiety because I have no idea who I might get next especially since he is pushing me towards a lower income place where I will have no choice of who I get. I'm going to try to make some positive steps before the visit, so he can't say I'm not trying. If he still thinks it would be better for me to go someplace else, I'll at least know I tried.


----------



## crybaby97 (Jan 14, 2017)

Kandice said:


> I started seeing a therapist last month and I feel like I'll feel the same way in time. Right now, I am reluctant to share my feelings but I feel like my therapist is going to break me down and I'll end up being attached to him.
> I don't share my feelings with anyone else either.


At least you're aware that you might haha. Sometimes I'm still a little reluctant to share things with my therapist, but I trust them more now so I'm more open. Best of luck with therapy!


----------



## crybaby97 (Jan 14, 2017)

Kevin001 said:


> That is good, you feel comfortable with them. Don't see any harm if they're helping you.


I suppose.:smile2:


----------



## crybaby97 (Jan 14, 2017)

slyfox said:


> Sorry about my long post, but thought I would share because I am definitely having trouble with being too attached to my current therapist and having anxiety about who I'll get next if I go to a new therapist(looking likely).
> 
> He's into video games, nerdy, understanding(or at least used to be ) and in general fun to talk to. He recently is pushing for me to go to someone else since supposedly he doesn't think he is helping me enough and and he doesn't think I can see him enough with my insurance.
> 
> ...


That sounds like a really tough situation :/ I hope things work out for you..


----------



## slyfox (Nov 18, 2007)

crybaby97 said:


> That sounds like a really tough situation :/ I hope things work out for you..


Thanks. I'll just have see how things go next visit.


----------



## Sonder (Feb 13, 2017)

I think it's relatively normal, particularly if you are pretty isolated and they are one of the first people you open to. Most people would love to have a therapist they feel comfortable with


----------



## crybaby97 (Jan 14, 2017)

Sonder said:


> I think it's relatively normal, particularly if you are pretty isolated and they are one of the first people you open to. Most people would love to have a therapist they feel comfortable with


I suppose. I'm surprised I'm even comfortable with mine at all. My parents made me go to therapy because we had a lot of family conflict when I was younger and I barely even spoke. I'm not 100% comfortable with the one I have now, but I still share a lot of crap about myself.


----------

