# Moving Out of Parent's House - Good or Bad?



## AxlRose408 (Apr 11, 2013)

Hello All,

I have always lived with my parents and I can now afford to get an apartment of my own. My parents are very traditional Indians who controlled me and made my very dependent on them. Like any family, we have had serious fights and arguments that have gotten out of control sometimes. I was kicked out of my house once and they called the police on me twice for isolating myself in my room. Later, they found out that I was smoking weed. 

My dilemma is do I move out and try living on my own or do I stay with my parents forever. In India, it is not uncommon for grown adults to live with their parents. Of course, this isn't India but for many the same culture applies. I have no plans for marriage or any female companionship so I would be living completely by myself in my apartment.

Should I make the big move and move out or should I stay with my mom and dad. Is living on your own very lonely and depressing? Should I choose freedom over the company and comfort of living with mom and dad (we have a very nice house)? I would describe my relationship with my parents as rocky but not unbearable. 

Any advice?


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## CeeDee4 (Jul 21, 2013)

AxlRose408 said:


> Hello All,
> 
> I have always lived with my parents and I can now afford to get an apartment of my own. My parents are very traditional Indians who controlled me and made my very dependent on them. Like any family, we have had serious fights and arguments that have gotten out of control sometimes. I was kicked out of my house once and they called the police on me twice for isolating myself in my room. Later, they found out that I was smoking weed.
> 
> ...


I just posted a similar response to another member on here  I know it's hard to deal with the decision to leave home, especially when you need to escape a bad home environment and also when some many other people seem to be living with their parents into their late 20s or 30s and having no problems with it.

I'm in my late 30s now and lived at home until I was about 23 or so. It was horrible because my parents were very dysfunctional and verbally abusive and even worse I had a deadbeat, druggie 35 year old brother who was still living at home too who used to make my life a living hell and who I suspected could one day snap and kill me.

I got an apartment in the city with a guy buddy roommate at 23 t0 24. Living the city was kinda scary because our apartment was robbed and my car was broken into in the same week. My roommate was gone often and I used to be scared and lonely alone in the apartment. Oh and at the time I supported myself with a part time student job/student loan money and then eventually a full time temp jobs. (Temp agencies can be good places to go if you need a job quickly. Then can put you somewhere where you can get a paycheck. It might not be perfect, but it is sometimes easier than sending out tons of resumes and going on interviews.)

I spend a few months back at my parents' house after I left that apartment and I knew that I couldn't stay there forever because of the maltreatment and dysfunction.

My next apartment I got at 24 I was completely alone. I remember who weird it felt falling asleep in my bed alone the first night. I mustered up all the strength I could because I knew I had nowhere else to go. Eventually I made friends with the other tenants in my building and that helped. They were a warped group too LOL looking back, but having them in the building made it easier for me to fall asleep at night. I felt less alone.

So, if I had any advice for you now, looking back I would have made sure my first apartment was in a SAFE neighborhood, as safe as I could afford. Also, if you had a roommate who was of a similar mindset and supportive, go for it. But if you have to live alone, find a place that is safe and make sure you have enough outside activities, take a class or join a club they say, to keep you busy and less lonely.


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## cloister2 (Sep 2, 2011)

leave while you still can


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## AxlRose408 (Apr 11, 2013)

After reading your situation, I feel lucky that my parents supported me financially because I honestly couldn't do it alone in my twenties. Plus, my parents are not as bad as you describe yours. I have to be careful to leave on 'good terms' with them. I know its hard for parents to see their last son move out because I may not keep in touch frequently. But yeah, my apartment is going to be safe and in a good location.

I will have to get used to living alone and I hope I meet cool tenants like you did. Thanks for the advice.


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## Vicktarius (Apr 14, 2014)

*Don't waste your life, Get out.*



AxlRose408 said:


> Hello All,
> 
> I have always lived with my parents and I can now afford to get an apartment of my own. My parents are very traditional Indians who controlled me and made my very dependent on them. Like any family, we have had serious fights and arguments that have gotten out of control sometimes. I was kicked out of my house once and they called the police on me twice for isolating myself in my room. Later, they found out that I was smoking weed.
> 
> ...


If you live with your mom and dad it is actually fair you abide by their rules. Forget they are your parents. Just cos they brought you up and gave a big part of their lives, once you grow up sitting in your room and having weed, don't expect them to live by your rules. You are old enough to worry and lead yourself that you must. Once they firm an opinion about you as people, they will respond to you in that manner, for everything you do, even if you change.

They did not make you dependent on them, as I see, they gave you all they vou,d to support you. If they:
Sent you to a good school with fine teachers,
Supported education from good college,

Then these are days you need to learn about what's Rose going to be in this global village in future. What will be her role? Maybe you didn't think too hard of it then and kept taking parents support. This with all clarity read my first line, if you want to stay with patents. And it is their right to man their family.
------------- living on your own.

I had moved out of my home in late twenties when I just married, infact from that day. They too wanted. The case was something like yours. I have little regrets. Only I rarely see them due to politics at home. That too is very minimal and painless.

I would call my life as successful in worldly way and happiness that has scored high. I was miserable with their controlling habits. I found people who will walk with me with same happiness, friends who shared common goals, business or career that opened the world, and wife that is a great partner.

But that is also due to my selections and insight. I could have selected bad friends, bad wife and had a bad life.

---- you are a free spirit and you can explore this world if you take your responsibility, make a goal or many goals to pursue, don't ever waste your time its sacrilege, keep your decision to be successful in your goals, dont give up because it's meaningless, and on each step if you believe as I do, keep faith in your Gods. Thus could be the single factor that will guide your life through all your goals, risks, and chances to victory. Nothing else works.

Bottomline we aren't gonna live forever anyway. We are gonna die one day like everyone else whether we are a billionaire or millionaire or trying to be one, learning lessons. But they say if this life you learn, you'll be closer to becoming one next life. So there must be no scare or success or failure. Only of not taking on the ride of your life, of not getting on the horse ever thinking what if.

You will need a dash of belief and courage, then remember to keep challenging yourself to develop and strengthen your courage system. A weak heart is meant to demolish. So be brave, its a fine quality and there's much to explore. Don't waste your life, Get Out!


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## pork (Sep 4, 2011)

Leaving my parent's house was the best decision I've ever made in my entire life.

I think living independently gives you a new perspective which makes it completely worth it.


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