# I am over my S.A.D..My STORY!!



## AnxietyKILLER (Oct 27, 2008)

Hey everyone, I've wanted to join an online community for sometime regarding my condition, and I figured this would be the best place because of the population on this website...

Well, to get right to the point, my name is Tim, or I go as TJ, my middle name is Jordan

Backround Information::
My dad blushed and had problems when he was an adolescent, My mom had anxiety disorder during her 20's. A great gene pool for me  lol..

My Summary of S.A.D and how I Kicked the **** out of it::

I am 20 years old and I have had social phobia or S.A.D since I was 13, around the time I entered post secondary education. In elementary school I was one of the top dogs around, I was cute, athletic, girls liked me, I was a class clown, I was a very happy child. Entering high school was going to be a great experience I thought..(I compared it to the likes of Save By the Bell..LOL..what a mistake)

It all began with my confidence levels, the big environment, the large population of kids and faculty made me feel insignificant and unimportant. At this time puberty basically hit me like a brick in the face. I started developing serious Acne. My eyesight also became blurry, so for an added treat I had to wear glasses. I was never really picked on or teased, but I felt like my life was over because my physical appearance took a nose-dive. In high school I was in the average crowd, I was basically friends with whoever was kind. I didn't have any girlfriends or sexual relations during my four years. In grade 10, when I was 14/15 I started to notice my hands. They were always moist and cold, and if a situation occurred that caused an increase in my heart rate, I would begin to sweat. If teachers suddenly called on me, or if my name was mentioned out loud, I would immediately blush without failure. This would then snowball into a bigger blush because of the crowd I would draw, whether it was class or the cafeteria, my red face would glow. I began to feel depressed and hopeless, I never joined any sports teams and my school marks were sub-par. I never approached strangers and shyed away from social events in public. I still went to almost every party because drinking Alcohol; like most of you already know, takes the difficulty away from socializing. I was over obsessed with my appearance, always going to the washroom to look at my self, only to find my face flushed and my eyes red. I blushed, I sweat, you name it I did it. I went to a Catholic school so we would have mass every so often, this would cause a raise in anxiety for me because I knew during the peace offering I would have to shake hands. This is what I'd think about during the whole ceremony, nothing else. When the time came my hands would be soaked so I would fake a sneeze and tell them "Oops sorry I sneezed"..preety lame..lol...
I graduated high school at 17 years old without a clue on what I wanted to do. I was a regular weed smoker and I experimented with other drugs being a raver and all. The thing is, through all this pain and suffering, I never told a single soul, not my brothers, nor my parents. I was so embarrassed. And If I did mention something of the matter, my Dad would tell me 'its just your nerves it'll go away when you get older'...(Yeah right, fu%k waiting till 40)

I went back to school for a semester because I didn't want to go to university... that to me was like high school on steroids. I was selling a little weed here and their in school, and I got caught one day and I was expelled. After breaking all the trust with my parents, I fell into a deeper depression. My dad then asked me I'd like to meet with a friend of his from his A.A group (My dads a recovering Alcoholic:um) I met with him and was amazed with how positive he was, we began to meet once a week to discuss my future plans for a career, as well as life goals and such. This was hard because I would be very shy still and would never tell a stranger about my inner most feelings. I began to think more positive about my situation but yet I still couldn't shake the sweating/blushing. I then told myself I'd get help.....

MY TREATMENT::::::idea

Botox: I have taken more needles in the arms/hands then a heroine addict....lol... and I'll tell you one thing... it FU#$ING HURTS!!
The pain was excrutiating, 60 needles in my hands and about 20 on my face..
It lasted for about 4 months, costing me about 700 Dollars Canadian.. I did it twice a year for about 2 years..It stopped the sweating somewhat, but I was still very self conscious. At this time I was 18, and I began going to school in Toronto to a trade/high school for plumbing. I felt like it was a new chapter in my life, new knowledge, friends and work. Well at first I hated it..I didn't speak to anyone until the 2nd week. I was friends with my whole class, actually being one of the most popular. But I almost gave up because of my S.A.D.. I remember calling my parents from school crying because I would sweat so much, even though nobody noticed. I was also self conscious because I had not had sex yet, and whenever someone would bring up girls, I'd play along like I was a pimp, suffice to say it worked 

I began researching on the internet for a new solution, I wanted to get ETS surgery, but that was out of the question. After 5 years of denial, I told myself "you have a condition, you have a Phobia". After googling "Facial Blushing" I began to read my *** off, and I discovered about the disorder I had. 

I researched and researched, and turned to medication..

THE COMBINATION THAT HAS SAVED MY LIFE::::

Clonazepam and Ditropan.. is all I have to say.. I went to my doctor and asked for a 3 month prescription of these pills after explaining to him my story. He agreed and I began treatment. I started at .5mg of Clonazepam(1 pill) and 5mg of Ditropan(1 pill), both at night. I didn't notice any difference, but gradually I began to feel the same way as i did when I was a kid. I was happier, more confident and for the first time in forever...I FELT NORMAL!!!!:clap
I have been on this combination for about 2 years now, with 2 pills of clonazepam(1 in the morning and 1 at night) and still 1 pill of ditropan
at night. I swear to god when I say..I FORGET WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BLUSH...AND I DO NOT SWEAT ANYMORE AT ALL, ONLY WHEN I PLAY SPORTS, WHICH IS HEALTHY....

My life has done a 180 degree turn, I have total confidence in my self now, I can do anything I want without worrying about other people. I have been sweat/blush free for 2 years now and I feel great. My doctor now prescribes it to other patients because of the success stories I have told him. I'm 20 years old, I'm healthy, I'm fit, I have a beautiful girlfriend who I love, I have tons of friends, I rap/MC for small parties and work my *** off. I truly feel like God has given me a second chance at life, I have NO SIDE EFFECTS ONCE SO EVER. At night, an hour after I take them, I do feel good however..haha.. like a slight buzz.. but I am NOT ADDICTED..and healthy as an OX!(I'll post some pics) The dosage on this medication is usually higher then what I take, and I consider myself to have sever S.A.D, so a little goes a long way with respect to dosage. Thank god..

I thank God everyday for the willpower and determination I found deep inside myself when it came to finding a cure for this condition. Their is one more thing I'd like to share with that has helped change my life...

POSITIVE THINKING...BEING POSITIVE...I read and read and read, self help books are so helpful. Books like the "Secret" the "Law of attraction" and "Ask and it is Given" are a few to name. I can happily say I create my own reality because of the tools I have learned from these books, I will also post an amazing website that has tonnes of knowledge and quotes from these books, this website alone has changed my whole philosophy on life. You can't comprehend what a positive outlook on life can do for you until you do it. I'm done, thats it...

I'd like to say thank you for reading this novel I've written..haha..and if you have any questions or views, feel free to get at me.. 

PS. I've also cleared up my skin immensely with simple natural methods, I'm happy to help anyone with their acne problems.



SWEAT N BLUSH FREE SINCE 2005...BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAP!!!!!!:boogie


----------



## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

It's great that you're living your life now the way you want it to be. Do you think that you would be able to go off of the meds now to see if you don't need them anymore?


----------



## AnxietyKILLER (Oct 27, 2008)

No I definitely need them, S.A.D is a chemical imbalance in the brain, It doesn't bother me that I'll be on these for the rest of my life, I couldn't care less, I want to get the message out about this potent aniexty killer, this story has taken a huge weight off me, I've wanted to tell my story for a long time and now I have, I'm also here to support and help anyone out, were all in this together!


----------



## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

The chemical imbalance issue has been debated on here and I think it's part of the reason, but not entirely. That is for another thread though. Well glad you got help and I'm sure someone will get some help from your story.


----------



## Thunder (Nov 5, 2003)

AnxietyKILLER said:


> No I definitely need them, S.A.D is a chemical imbalance in the brain, It doesn't bother me that I'll be on these for the rest of my life, I couldn't care less, I want to get the message out about this potent aniexty killer, this story has taken a huge weight off me, I've wanted to tell my story for a long time and now I have, I'm also here to support and help anyone out, were all in this together!


 SA is almost certainly not a chemical imbalance. I haven't figured out what the potent anxiety killer is you're talking about yet, clonazepam?


----------



## AnxietyKILLER (Oct 27, 2008)

Ditropan controls sweating, yes it is meant for an overactive bladder, the side effects of Ditropan make a person sweat less, so I used these two medications together. I have no side effects from either or, so I definitley recommend them to anyone with SAD


----------



## Gary (Oct 19, 2008)

Thunder said:


> SA is almost certainly not a chemical imbalance. I haven't figured out what the potent anxiety killer is you're talking about yet, clonazepam?


true this, I overcame my SA drug-free, I dont even drink alcohol


----------



## dragons09 (Nov 18, 2008)

Story was interesting until the medication came in.It just seems like your masking your problem.Im afraid that if you forget your meds one day then you will have a bad day.I wish you got rid of it in a drug free way.Would have made the story better.Sorry


----------



## BossMan (Nov 18, 2008)

Gary said:


> true this, I overcame my SA drug-free, I dont even drink alcohol


How did you do that?


----------



## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

well good job in overcoming a common mental health problem in the world.


----------

