# Started Social Freedom Exercises



## grendelswall (Oct 27, 2007)

So I now have an incentive to start regularly doing these because I'm working at my Uncles' house during the week and the Stanford Shopping Center is on the way, in 2 weeks I'll go back to community college so I can work on these there. I posted the exercises in the Self Help Resources by the way. 

1-10 comfort rating (10's most comf.), you weigh overall experience of exercise (e.g. lead up + actually doing it / 2)

1. "Make eye contact with 3 people. Hold it as long as possible"
-Almost everyone just kept looking away, even if I was really staring intently. I didn't try it with couples or sunglasses wearing people.
-There wasn't much release or a feeling of "this isn't so bad", I still felt really weird staring at people and they looked at me odd back. Maybe I should have said hi next time to release the tension.

Comfort rating: 4

2. "Ask for the time"
-It was kind of hard to find someone I was comfortable with asking this.

Comfort rating: 6

3. "Ask a stranger for directions"
-I asked two guys where a book store is, first one didn't know, the second one looked like he was a former peer of mine in middle school and high school and that made me really uncomfortable because I thought he might see through my whole act, but he did smile a bit and it didn't seem like a derisive smile.

Comfort rating: 4

4. "Ask for directions and then make small talk for 30 seconds."
-This didn't cause me too much anxiety because I had it all planned out, plus it was a woman in her 50s or 60s. I asked for directions to a local burger place and then asked if she thought there were any better places to eat at in the area. She talked about two other places close by. She seemed contented that I had spoken to her from her smile. 

Comfort rating: 5

For the 2-4, the lead up was worse than actually doing it. When I got into the moment it didn't seem that bad at all.

Okay, so I want to reach number 5 next time which is "make small talk with a store clerk for 2 min." - I'm really worried about this, I just can't think of questions or follow up questions that will get me to last that long. There's restaurants, Ice cream parlors, clothing stores...well they do have electronics store so I guess I might just have to ask the right questions about the features of an item or something. Anyone have any other ideas for other stores?


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## R4ph4el (Sep 20, 2005)

Great you started it. 
Ive been pushing myself lately to take all opportunities to talk to people. Work/family/... it doesn't matter. I'm pushing myself to talk to as much people as possible just for practice.


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## TorLin (Nov 14, 2006)

I've always have been saying "Hello" /or "Good Evening" to random people when I go out.

I started out with a goal amount of people, started with 1, than next few weeks i went to 5, than 10, 20, than keeps going up. Im at the point where i no longer keep track of saying hello or good evening to people i just and randomly meet.

But yes I like these exercises... Good job.


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## ImAboutToEXPLODE (Nov 20, 2007)

> "Make eye contact with 3 people. Hold it as long as possible"


Hehe why?! Is this from a book or something?

You're actually gonna make eye contact with strangers and stare them right in the face as long as you can?

What's the point of that? Who does that?


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## grendelswall (Oct 27, 2007)

ImAboutToEXPLODE said:


> > "Make eye contact with 3 people. Hold it as long as possible"
> 
> 
> Hehe why?! Is this from a book or something?
> ...


It's not from a book. I posted about the exercises in the triumphs forum. The exercises in full are here: http://rapidshare.com/files/97564818/Social_Freedom_Exercises.pdf.html

I think you're actually supposed to do this while you're walking towards the stranger and as you go past, so its not like you're just standing in one place just staring till you feel your eyes start to tear. That's what I did anyway - walking towards the stranger.


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## ImAboutToEXPLODE (Nov 20, 2007)

It still seems a bit strange for me, maybe mostly because i seriously dislike being stared at.

I will at best glance at a strangers eyes as i walk past them, but only for a second, and that i think is also the rational and normal thing to do, because there's nothing wrong with having a quick look at your surroundings.

Isn't long eye contact best left for one-on-one conversations?


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## grendelswall (Oct 27, 2007)

ImAboutToEXPLODE said:


> It still seems a bit strange for me, maybe mostly because i seriously dislike being stared at.
> 
> I will at best glance at a strangers eyes as i walk past them, but only for a second, and that i think is also the rational and normal thing to do, because there's nothing wrong with having a quick look at your surroundings.
> 
> Isn't long eye contact best left for one-on-one conversations?


I really don't know when long eye contact is really 'best'. I say it's better to test the boundaries of such social behavior as a means to be more willing and comfortable in taking new opportunities in social interactions.

I have also been surprised at how often people smile at me when I hold eye contact (while I'm smiling somewhat of course) - especially if I say hi. So, obviously it's not a very big taboo for the people I've come across or seen as 'ab-normal'.


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