# Prefer Online Friends, Real Life Friends or Both?



## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

Most people want friends in real life while those who cannot get a friend or feel lonely in real life have friends online. Others have both depending on the individual. Which do you personal prefer? 


It is difficult for me to have friends. In real life I rarely go out due to circumstances. I am also quiet, introverted. A small talk kind of person. This is online and in real life. The only friends I have are my Mom and my Older Sister. Well more like family. But even with them I do not talk as much as I can. Something I need to work on. Online friendships work for me because I can be myself online. People can get to know more. Just imagining one on one friendships in real life feel like it would be an issue with me because I am hard to open up. Even if I do open up I just don't feel like talking to people unless we are close friend. Close friends as in we click.

I prefer Online Friends. Perhaps this is my way of having friends before actually meeting them in person if I happen to meet someone from online in real life. Just that with online you have to be really careful with who you meet because there are some crazy people out here. You hear the stories. Even with online dating.
____________________________



What do you prefer? Online Friends, Real Life Friends, or Both?


----------



## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

I'd say online, I kinda avoid life IRL well except for work.


----------



## leaf in the wind (Mar 28, 2017)

There's a part of me that doesn't consider online friends to be actual people, even though I know it isn't true. It's like they're just a figment of my imagination or some kind of AI bot. 

I've had some online friends for as long as a decade without meeting in person.


----------



## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

It's true I am an A.I bot gathering intelligence.


----------



## Dispatch (Jun 25, 2019)

blue2 said:


> It's true I am an A.I bot gathering intelligence.


1st let me say I think you could be a blue3 if you wanted to ... so, just so you know ... anyways how's that intelligence gathering going ? didja find any yet ? &#128556;


----------



## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

I'm one of many, all Information is being fed back to a mainframe for analysis & to study behavior pattern's & filter whats fit for use in our world domination plans.


----------



## Dispatch (Jun 25, 2019)

well getting back to the question ... I think the anonymity of places like this forum for instance is actually very helpful ... it allows us to be more open ... a glimpse perhaps of a more true self ... us, without the anxiety ...


----------



## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

Does not compute !! You have been selected for termination.


----------



## JH1983 (Nov 14, 2013)

I like both. I don't have a lot of energy to spend hanging out with people in real life. Online friends are lower maintenance like that and I don't feel so drained talking online. Plus easier to be more open online. It's nice to have people to hang out with on the occasions I actually feel like it though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Dispatch (Jun 25, 2019)

blue2 said:


> Does not compute !! You have been selected for termination.


huh ... you think you know someone smh


----------



## Musicfan (Mar 4, 2017)

I've only had one online person I consider an actual friend but we barely talk now. I do have a new one that is pretty cool and I enjoy writing to her and hearing from her. Last time I had real life friends was in high school.


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I don't really have anyone I can have a decent personal connection and share stuff with anymore online and in real life and probably won't ever again all things considered. My current longest friendship is with someone I met IRL but now we only communicate online since we live far away from each other. Nobody will ever know me so whatever. It's impossible.


----------



## Harveykinkle (Apr 26, 2019)

For me it's two very different ways of connecting. In person you have that physical presence, being in the same room, sharing a meal, playing video games, that sense of someone standing by your side, and hearing them laugh next to you. Where online it's more mental, more about knowing each other's inner self, if that makes sense.

It's possible to share your "inner self" in person but for me it's very difficult to do. Because I have anxiety and getting the words out is a challenge but also because my inner self tends to work better online. Online you can find people more into certain topics and more willing to discuss serious matters in general. Offline it seems to be about small talk most of the time.

I appreciate both kinds of friends in their own way. An online friend can't give you hug. But they're also less likely to open up to the same degree. It's very different sorts of intimacy. Because I feel deficient in person I'd probably give the edge to online friendships. That and I like deep and/or strange conversations.


----------



## EmotionlessThug (Oct 4, 2011)

Online interactions, because I have more time to think my thoughts through and concentrate on formulating my responses clearly.


----------



## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Both are good. But the majority of my socializing for the last 10+ years has been online. And that's where I've found the deepest connections...I don't think the people I talk to in person know much about me - just the surface.


----------



## Sekiro (Dec 29, 2019)

They're one in the same.


----------



## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Friends and acquaintances are different things (I think). It's difficult for someone like me to have anything more than acquaintances even IRL. But it's pretty much impossible online. I don't do any kind of "real time" communication online. Forums are as close as I get. I don't enjoy being put on the spot where some kind of coherent response is expected "right this instant". Takes me more time to process things and thing about how to respond.

Anyway, I think "friends" are also pretty rare. I think it's a term people misuse. A friend is someone who is loyal to you. Everyone else is an acquaintance. Most people do not have real friends. JMO. Even married people have fragile bonds in modern times.


----------



## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

real life. not had online friends for a long time, not missing much/anything. surprised this is even and actual question.

actually I cant be bothered with expressing my inner self anymore lol. that kind of thing is exhausting.


----------



## MCHB (Jan 1, 2013)

Real life! ^_^


----------



## The Linux Guy (Jul 11, 2013)

mezzoforte said:


> Both are good. But the majority of my socializing for the last 10+ years has been online. And that's where I've found the deepest connections...I don't think the people I talk to in person know much about me - just the surface.


I kinda get where your coming from. I think it depends how good are you are at talking to people in real life.


----------



## aqwsderf (Aug 16, 2013)

I voted both as well. Plus I consider my online friends...my real life friends. They're just long distance. At this point in my life all my friends are long distance since I've moved cities.


----------



## That Random Guy (Jan 31, 2015)

*Reality*

Not that I have any, but I prefer real friends where I can actually see their authenticity.


----------



## Replicante (Oct 31, 2017)

I like both


----------



## The Linux Guy (Jul 11, 2013)

After High School Graduation, I spent a lot of years trying to make friends. The only ones available to me were all online. I went through so many ups and downs, that I think it messed me up emotionally. That's why I prefer offline friendships. I want something that I can actually touch!


----------



## Velorrei (Jan 30, 2011)

It would be so nice to have both. I'd say all of my friends are online right now.  In real life, I'll interact with people if I _have_ to.

Right now, I distance myself from everyone in real life. Maybe one day I'll have real life friends again.


----------



## discopotato (Dec 24, 2016)

honestly, probably online, or thats how I feel in my current mental state anyway. I find human interaction incredibly exhausting. It would be nice to have a small group of IRL friends but the majority online.


----------



## Aurel (Mar 5, 2020)

Real friendship is more durable, it's hard to make good friends through the internet, but I don't have choice at this moment, so I voted for both.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Online friends are often easier with SA, however, it’s good to chill in person now & them too


----------



## Elle Knight (Jan 18, 2019)

Both. But sometimes online friends tend to be closer to us than the friends in person.


----------



## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

RL friends are easier in terms of my personality, I think. Sometimes I just like hanging out and relaxing, sharing someone's company without necessarily having to keep a conversation going the entire time.

Hard to "hangout" online in the same way.


----------



## Eric Narvaez (Apr 11, 2020)

Both. The more you have, the better it is too practice conquering SA. 

Sent from my SM-J260T1 using Tapatalk


----------



## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

Real life. 

In real life, I can at least use other physical cues, facial expressions, body language etc to supplement my personality and what I say verbally. Whereas online, I am what type and how others interpret them as. They don't like something they read from me, then I am exactly that, they move to the next person instantly and avoid interacting with me again. In real life, its less convenient to do that as quickly and easily. You kind of have to hang around for a bit even if you don't like that person. Sometimes that "hanging around for a bit" might be enough to let you know "that person actually isn't that bad, I think I misunderstood that person initially".


----------



## cafune (Jan 11, 2011)

oh my gosh, the phrase 'in real life' is so.. (눈_눈) i have to say 'in-person' or else my right eye will twitch.

anyway, i prefer in-person friendships (ie. not fb/instagram/social media/text). online friendships, by their very nature, aren't sufficient for me. i need facial expressions and body language and intonation of voices and physical presence and just everything.


----------



## The Linux Guy (Jul 11, 2013)

The sad thing is, most people I know only are fine with being acquaintances. They show me no signs of wanted to be anymore then that. When I try to be outgoing they receive me like they would receive and inanimate object, or they find me annoying, just because I Exist.


----------



## zonebox (Oct 22, 2012)

I don't have any, but I do prefer online friendships over real life friendships. Online, I can be whoever I want to be, and so can others, we can build our own lives, and be who we want to be. I prefer that, I prefer people being who they want to be, and me being who I want to be, and I really do not like being restricted by real life.


I think I would rather be friends, with a person who identifies as they wish towards me, rather than be restricted by the persona they have to fill in real life, in order to survive. I prefer the mind of a person, rather than than the role they have been assigned to.



You know it is funny, back in the day, people used to only use text chat. Others built their views upon people, through text chat, but once voice became normal, the identity people had built for themselves dissolved rather quickly. For World of Warcraft for example, a person who was an amazing warrior, could quickly become a nasal weirdo that commands no respect. That is how I view real life, we are limited by what we were born with, our voices, our hairline, our facial features, our height, our race, our gender, our quirks, etc, etc, they all bring upon limitations.


I think it is a lot like how silent movies once were, there were extraordinary actors, who were in demand, they were beloved by many, but as soon as audio came into play, they were no longer significant. They did not have the voice, to express their role, and were no longer significant for the roles they once played. That is real life, that is how things work.



I prefer to let people be who they want to be, I don't like my own biases to be involved, and I don't like being part of other people's biases.


----------



## Shawn81 (Jul 9, 2014)

Would prefer one or two in person because I've already spent too much of my life online, and I know it would be better for me, but there's nothing wrong with online either. Too bad meeting anyone in person is beyond the scope of my social ability.


----------



## The Linux Guy (Jul 11, 2013)

It's hard to face the truth. I'm just as bad at being a friend online as I am offline. I suck! I'm Unsubscribing from this thread.


----------



## Care2018 (Aug 23, 2018)

both


----------



## lil_tails (Aug 13, 2018)

ofcourse online! im just so handicapped of real life comunication i dont know word for it...i dont know how to talk? but also interact and how to live? with other ppl around? its so scary...with ppl in online its tuff too but sometimes its lit!


----------



## Lohikaarme (Aug 28, 2013)

Ideally, a healthy mixture of both


----------



## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

I like to have work acquaintances, be it online or irl because they can help your career along but as far as friends go I'd rather not have any.


----------



## Tetragammon (Jun 2, 2015)

I strongly prefer online friends because I'm much more comfortable interacting online. It's also easier to get out of situations that are uncomfortable when you can pull a plug and fake internet troubles or whatever. Meeting people IRL has always seemed like such a hassle, and I'm always nervous with people in person.

I wish I could just do everything online all the time.


----------



## rabidfoxes (Apr 17, 2016)

I used to prefer online friends but have since changed my mind. I fear that for someone like me, who might use the internet as a 'replacement' for the real world, online friends are not far off from phantasies in a schizoid worldview. Also, ironically, I found that relationships online were no more 'deep' or 'real' than the ones I have offline. 

What I like about online relationships is that it's easier to find a good fit in terms of shared interests, views, etc.


----------



## Arbre (Mar 9, 2014)

I prefer real life friends since you can do stuff with them in real life and interact with them face to face, but I do have online friends too. I've made some great friends online and met quite a few of them in real life. And I would like to make more online friends, right now I really just have two from this forum.


----------



## alwaysrunning (Sep 7, 2019)

I don't think I could do friendship in real life as there is too much talking you need to do. If I am with someone in person then it is usually the person I am in a relationship with.


----------



## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

Real.


----------



## Nitrogen (Dec 24, 2012)

I don't know how to make online friends if I could. It was slightly easier when I was younger and spent more time on the internet, but even then it was hard to find people online I could connect with. These days I forget everything and my ability to reply back and keep conversations going is awful so I don't bother.

There's a quote from Ruth Ozeki's _A Tale for the Time Being_ that resonates with me:

"I swear, even on the Internet people can give off a virtual smell that other people pick up on, although I don't see how that's possible. It's not like a real smell, with molecules and pheromone receptors and so on, but it's just as obvious as the stink of fear in your armpits or the vibe you give off when you're poor and don't have any confidence or nice stuff. Maybe it's something in the way your pixels start behaving, but I was definitely starting to have it."

It's hard for me to meet/make friends in-person and I think I must carry the same off-putting traits online, or something. Not sure. I don't think people like initiating with someone who isn't likely to engage or reply back, but that wasn't always the case with me. Maybe they didn't like what I typed or how I typed it. I felt like too it was because I never really revealed a lot about myself online so people could never really find a meaningful way to reach out, which didn't help me with feeling isolated with my own thoughts and feelings with things.

I wish I could meet people online who lived close enough for me to know them in-person, that would be my preference, but it hardly lucks out that way. Unless I wanted to meet someone through an app or something, but I have plenty of reservations about those.


----------



## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

I like my online friend the most. I don't have any other friends in real life, other than family.


----------



## Rains (Jan 20, 2016)

In most cases real life. But i have one online one that I've had for over ten years now and that friendship feels just as important as the irl ones.


----------



## Excaliber (May 16, 2015)

I've met great people online and I appreciate them but I still prefer a real life friendship, being able to interact in person and do activities with someone just goes so much further to build your friendship.


----------



## Vacateer (Oct 14, 2013)

Real life friends are better but hard to meet.


----------

