# social anxiety leading to suicidal thoughts....



## raya (Nov 7, 2014)

hi!
well, i dont really know if i have social anxiety because i never went to a psychologist or told my guidance counselor about it. but, i am afraid of social situations very much. it started 2 years ago and i'm not even sure why. i just started isolating myself from people. its gotten better now. i talk a bit more, but idk... knowing i have social anxiety is making me have suicidal thoughts for a few reasons. i regret things easily. knowing that i could've done better or if someone else was better than me. i am also very sensitive to people and i feel like the worst person ever when people are mean to me or dont like me. i hate the fact that im older (2-3 years older) than my classmates but im more inferior and emotionally weaker than them. i just hate it when i try to express myself through simple words and actions and i feel like people give me looks that tell me im weird. like, i shouldnt even try. that makes me feel very inferior and makes me have a bad mood in the rest of the day. so, sometimes i just stay there in my seat the whole day being quiet. it sucks. i just want to get it over with. i dont know.... its pressuring me..... i feel like **** and i feel like the simplest way for social anxiety to go away is to kill myself sometimes. i never attempted but i always thought about it a lot.

i wanted to talk on here bc im scared to talk about it in real life. im scared to tell my mom because i think she'll judge me for being so weak. i told my sister once before saying, "i think i have social anxiety" and told her about my experiences with it. but i think she felt awkward talking about it and avoided the topic. i dont feel like talking abt it with anyone else bc i feel like im over exaggerating.


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## Shadowboy (Jun 12, 2013)

Suicidal thoughts usually come from hopelessness. Why don't you think your situation can improve in the future while it has gotten a little better lately? There have been people with SA whose life has changed in a good way and then there are SA sufferers who are trying to fight back SA (Like me).

You regret and think you could have done better, okay I got it. However, I think we believe we could do better because we have knowledge of what have already passed. We did what we could at that time in that situation and if our memory got erased and we put in the same situation maybe we would even do worse . Don't you think so?

You compare your performance in a matter with others' performance while their background, prior experiences, knowledge and situations are different than yours. How do you think these people would perform if you put them in your place with the same background, circumstances and so? They could do as good as you, not more better, right?

I'm sorry for the way you feel because of your sensitivity, but it is not like that the cold and senseless are more superior and cooler than sensitive guys.

Finally, social anxiety can be diminished to a controllable level. Support from other people is unquestionably helpful but you are the one who actually do the fighting against SA. Hopefully, you find such support either here in this forum or irl.


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## Robot the Human (Aug 20, 2010)

It may be comforting to read more and discover what exactly is going on with you. It is very hopeless, especially in the beginning not even knowing for sure if anything is going on or not. Our first reaction is to immediately go to family or friends, someone we are familiar with. The harsh reality in that, is that they probably know a lot less about it than we do; they can't offer much more than temporary support, as opposed to actual solutions.

Try reading up on things like HSP (Highly Sensitive Person). Learning about HSP has helped me a lot. Reading more on here about people's point of view may also help you to put pieces together. Knowing absolutely nothing or where to start can be overwhelming. Learning just one new thing can go a long way. 

I've been researching more about the human brain, and it's nice to know how I'm different from everyone else. It's also comforting to know that sometimes my brain functions just like everyone else's brain.


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