# Very few posts to this forum.



## Entrensik (Apr 25, 2014)

The Frustration forum is very active, yet this one isn't.

Could it be because a lot of people like to bathe in their own sorrow?:surprise: I try to stay away from that forum because i feel there's way to much negativity. Where as in this forum and the Triumphs over SA forum i can read about people's everyday triumphs over SA and be part of others positive thinking.

What do you guys think?


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## altghost (Jul 13, 2012)

MiserableLife99 said:


> Could it be because a lot of people like to bathe in their own sorrow?


I thought it was aveeno T-T

I stay away from this forum because I feel like I'm going to run into some unrealistic, overly upbeat, inspirational self-help pep talk that fails to take into consideration the fact that I *have* tried simply 'thinking positively.' (ironic, given much of my comments on others' posts, but I digress.) It feels less conversational, and more preachy.


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## Entrensik (Apr 25, 2014)

altghost said:


> I thought it was aveeno T-T
> 
> I stay away from this forum because I feel like I'm going to run into some unrealistic, overly upbeat, inspirational self-help pep talk that fails to take into consideration the fact that I *have* tried simply 'thinking positively.' (ironic, given much of my comments on others' posts, but I digress.) It feels less conversational, and more preachy.


Theres nothing unrealistic about overcoming SA. The reason it seems preachy is because when you overcome something or you go face to face with what's holding you back, you feel amazing and want the world to know how you did it. I think the majority of people on that forum (not all) just love getting their wounds kissed. Theyre stuck in this negative mindset as a result of everyone dick riding their problems as oppose to helping them. I very rarely see anyone give advice on that forum, everyone just gives an example of how their life suffers as well.


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## ElraOne (Aug 18, 2015)

I don't really like the way you put "bathe in their own sorrow", it implies a general superiority to people who talk about their problems more, or have worse problems and often don't have much control over their depression


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## MaePa (Jul 1, 2015)

It's easier to relate and commiserate than to offer advice, especially when so many of us are still in the thick of our issues and can't even help ourselves. It helps to know we're not alone, you know? It's great if simply thinking positively has helped you out of your issues; I'm not discounting that at all. But if SA is big enough a problem that it takes drugs, outside professional support and intervention, and a whole host of other methods to simply manage, you have to understand it's not going to be the same level of simplicity for each sufferer, especially when what we specifically struggle with varies person to person.

That said, I am rather wary of the Dating subforum in the Frustration section because a lot of those threads tend to slope into misogynistic territory, and it makes me uncomfortable.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

Maybe because some of us don't have any reason to be positive or don't have any triumphs...

When you say it isn't preachy, you have to understand the kind of advice we're usually faced with here. I understand people think they're helping, but most of them are not and are rather attempting to take some spurious highroad by talking about how easy it is, or to think positive, or some other generic drivel we've been fed our whole lives.

How many people are actually putting a genuine effort into being helpful?

And plus, it is the Frustration forum. It is designed for our negativity. Many of us have nowhere else to go with it. I'm sorry that it offends your sensibilities, but that's the way it is. Nobody "dick rides" our problems. It's just that we lack solutions we are capable of enacting.

If people are actually having the serious triumphs you describe, they wouldn't be here. As it is, there's no use to continue to lie to myself with generic positive thinking.

Lots of problems, little success. I think you shouldn't judge and feel superior.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

People need let steam out. A lot people have no one to talk to.


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## Whatev (Feb 6, 2012)

I don't think this is very positive.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

I guess it's because the whole basis and foundation of this forum is stemmed from frustration.


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## iCod (Feb 17, 2015)

People with SA hardly think positively.


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## Hayman (Dec 27, 2014)

I will admit that I've only looked at this particular section of the forum twice, maybe three times since I signed up here. The sad fact is that I think a lot of us are here because we struggle to find positivity through our experiences with SA. A good number of us, myself included, don't actually have any positive experiences to reflect back upon to try and perform that age-old phrase of "_improve ourselves_". We need others to give us a helping hand and unfortunately, a lot of us find others are merely hindrances rather than actual help.

If I had something to be positive about, I would do so. Do people honestly think we like to be miserable? I don't understand how anyone can be happy about being sad all the time. This is the whole reason why we come here to see what we can do about it - and of course vent.

There are people out there who have made a real effort to improve and overcome at least some of their SA traits. I've done this myself. However, making the effort doesn't always equal results. Whilst it may for some, others find themselves more or less stuck in place whether through not putting the effort in the right places (maybe through no fault of their own), or in my case really trying to only find our suspicions and fears are re-confirmed when we try to interact and mix with others. I honestly don't know where the positive is in this. We have sought advice. We have put in the effort and unfortunately, still got nowhere! It doesn't make you feel positive. It makes you feel positively cheated.

Again, unfortunately taking advice and acting doesn't always mean success. Nor does repeating the same advice to what has already been given which has proven not to work once, twice, maybe three or more times over before. At what point is it accepted that "_maybe this isn't working&#8230;_"? There's only so many years you can try and fail before you know in your heart that you're essentially stuck. This is what some people don't understand.

Don't take this the wrong way. I'm open to pretty much any piece of advice I can get because my life is passing me by and I'm still in the same situation I am now than I was when I was 14/15 years old. I'm becoming desperate to change as I don't want to be like this for the rest of my life. I've already lost my entire youth to this but unfortunately, I just can't 'grind out' that change to improve despite my efforts.

Please don't interpret this as some sort of 'trolling post'. I'm merely trying to explain why the 'Frustration' section is considerably more popular than here. I only hope I've explained this well enough without others 'rolling their eyes' to this&#8230;!


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## ShatteredGlass (Oct 12, 2012)

i think it's kinda ironic that your username has 'miserable' in it lol.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

MiserableLife99 said:


> The Frustration forum is very active, yet this one isn't.
> 
> Could it be because a lot of people like to bathe in their own sorrow?:surprise: I try to stay away from that forum because i feel there's way to much negativity. Where as in this forum and the Triumphs over SA forum i can read about people's everyday triumphs over SA and be part of others positive thinking.
> 
> What do you guys think?


Yeah, I'm pretty much like you. I've had to take breaks from SAS, because I let the negativity get to me. I'm thankful for all of you in this section!


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## selfloathingregular (Aug 14, 2015)

I am positive in areas of life that I know I can improve on. But approaching women is something I know I will never achieve, therefore I do find it reassuring to hear similar stories to mine. So, amid the negativity lies some positivity.


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## Kind Of (Jun 11, 2014)

I don't post on these types of sections because they're mostly superficial and self-congratulatory posts that never make me feel better and feel dishonest when I post them. I'm humorous and light-hearted in situations where I don't feel I have to show off how happy I am to strangers who don't care but pretend to in order to keep the atmosphere going, and no stock quotes on how to "just be happy".

There's ample advice out there, but more threads every day than any user could ever post it to. People who want it will find it easily.


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## iCod (Feb 17, 2015)

How does one think positively when they're suffering with a cripplingly mental illness?

????


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

iCod said:


> How does one think positively when they're suffering with a cripplingly mental illness?
> 
> ????


Such a paradox. I think we're supposed to make rainbows come out of our asses on top of everything else.


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## dontwaitupforme (Feb 23, 2013)

Everyone is miserable, god bless us all.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

hmm


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## CaffeineAddict (Aug 6, 2011)

"Misery loves company", right?

Positive change requires action; action requires work. Most people are inherently stubborn. (I'm no exception!)


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## Entrensik (Apr 25, 2014)

ElraOne said:


> I don't really like the way you put "bathe in their own sorrow", it implies a general superiority to people who talk about their problems more, or have worse problems and often don't have much control over their depression





MaePa said:


> It's easier to relate and commiserate than to offer advice, especially when so many of us are still in the thick of our issues and can't even help ourselves. It helps to know we're not alone, you know? It's great if simply thinking positively has helped you out of your issues; I'm not discounting that at all. But if SA is big enough a problem that it takes drugs, outside professional support and intervention, and a whole host of other methods to simply manage, you have to understand it's not going to be the same level of simplicity for each sufferer, especially when what we specifically struggle with varies person to person.
> 
> That said, I am rather wary of the Dating subforum in the Frustration section because a lot of those threads tend to slope into misogynistic territory, and it makes me uncomfortable.





minimized said:


> Maybe because some of us don't have any reason to be positive or don't have any triumphs...
> 
> When you say it isn't preachy, you have to understand the kind of advice we're usually faced with here. I understand people think they're helping, but most of them are not and are rather attempting to take some spurious highroad by talking about how easy it is, or to think positive, or some other generic drivel we've been fed our whole lives.
> 
> ...





Whatev said:


> I don't think this is very positive.





iCod said:


> People with SA hardly think positively.


The way i go about my life is that i dont have to be positive all the time (because lets face it theres very little to be positive about) but i can never be negative. SA isn't our real enemy, negativity and depression are our true enemies. Ask yourself, how is it that people who live in atrocious conditions can smile? Its because their not caught up in their depression or their negativity. I don't have a gf, i don't even have friends but because i try to stay away from my own negativity, im able to stay optimistic and therefore i have a legitimate fighting chance. Thats why i stay away from that forum, not because i feel superior (most of you probably have better social lives than me) not because we dont have a legitimate reason to complain, but because im trying to get out of this myself and therefore i cant afford to be negative.


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## Tymes Rhymes (May 28, 2014)

It may be considered negative but i'm going to post it here anyways.

My belief as to why this section receives too few posts is because as stated previously, people like to stay still in comfort rather than expand their horizons.

This isn't just the case for the so-called "normies" but pretty much humanity as a whole.

Read some of the posts in the Frustration section, easily the most populated area of the site. A lot of people do not want to change and they say as much.

They'll say something akin to "I want to have friends but I will never leave my room." Maybe with current limitations they are doing all that they can but it actuality, if they never leave their rooms, it makes sense that they would have no friends.

I have no friends whatsoever and understanding my faults and other reasonings as to why, fascinates me.

With most people though, we must protect our egos. "It's not my fault, it's the normies fault" While I don't mean to imply that one's circumstances is entirely their fault, people often like to find blames elsewhere as well and therefore hold no personal responsibility.

Bringing this up to most people is touchy too. There is actually a guy here whom seems to be entirely too understanding of even the most out-there topics and will criticize anyone whom dares to challenge the OP's point of view.


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## Joe (May 18, 2010)

It's because people with mental health issues are more frustrated than positive, if you look at the user:subforum ratio it'd be a little closer though.


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## avoidobot3000 (Aug 22, 2010)

i think there is a tendency in all humans to focus on the negative things more than the positive ones. for example, on the weekend i was at the club and i was the first one of my friends to take the plunge and hit up the dance floor. i will probably forget about that small triumph within a few weeks, and yet there are slightly embarrassing things i did like 5 years ago that still keep me up at night. :teeth


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## apx24 (Jan 31, 2012)

This is the positive thinking forum, and you're making a negative post on here in the hope of getting users here to be more positive.

Logic...


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I think your username is ironic.


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## EchoIX (Jul 5, 2015)

There is some truth to what you say OP.
It's easy to stay negative. Thinking positively can be hard. One must come to terms with the negative things in their life. But then we have to actually do something about it. This is work, it's pushing boundaries and it's facing the worst part of oneself. 
It's very daunting, and repeated failures is certain. The end result may not look like exactly as you pictured either. 
I do think people should frequent the positive boards more often. I think *I* should be on the positive boards more often.


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## Perspicacious (Jun 28, 2015)

I find the frustration forum helpful.


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## tooljunkie (May 31, 2014)

I understand exactly where the OP is coming from. When I first found this site I was very excited to have stumbled upon it. It was very comforting to know there are so many people who understand what I'm going through that it made me feel normal when I came here. However, after awhile it got very depressing reading all the negative and self pitty stories, so like a previous post said, I took a break from here too. I never really sought out these positive forums before until recently and I try to stay away from the negative ones now. 

I get what most of you are saying but for me it's beneficial to stay away from the negative. I find it didn't help me and can keep you stuck where you are. Yes I've had some very negative postings in the past. I don't come here that often anymore but when I do I want to read and work on being more positive this time around.


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## livetolovetolive (Jun 11, 2015)

MiserableLife99 said:


> The Frustration forum is very active, yet this one isn't.
> 
> Could it be because a lot of people like to bathe in their own sorrow?:surprise: I try to stay away from that forum because i feel there's way to much negativity. Where as in this forum and the Triumphs over SA forum i can read about people's everyday triumphs over SA and be part of others positive thinking.
> 
> What do you guys think?


That saying "misery loves company".

People who come here are miserable. They seek out the company of misery. Positive thinking is boring. That's very sad to admit, but I feel that's the truth.


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## Entrensik (Apr 25, 2014)

tooljunkie said:


> I understand exactly where the OP is coming from. When I first found this site I was very excited to have stumbled upon it. It was very comforting to know there are so many people who understand what I'm going through that it made me feel normal when I came here. However, after awhile it got very depressing reading all the negative and self pitty stories, so like a previous post said, I took a break from here too. I never really sought out these positive forums before until recently and I try to stay away from the negative ones now.
> 
> I get what most of you are saying but for me it's beneficial to stay away from the negative. I find it didn't help me and can keep you stuck where you are. Yes I've had some very negative postings in the past. I don't come here that often anymore but when I do I want to read and work on being more positive this time around.


Thats exactly how i feel. I have no time to dwell. If i dwell i'll get stuck in a negative mindset and then everything goes to ****. As much as i want to help others out based off what ive learned in my life, i cant afford to be part of others negativity.


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## Entrensik (Apr 25, 2014)

EchoIX said:


> There is some truth to what you say OP.
> It's easy to stay negative. Thinking positively can be hard. One must come to terms with the negative things in their life. But then we have to actually do something about it. This is work, it's pushing boundaries and it's facing the worst part of oneself.
> It's very daunting, and repeated failures is certain. The end result may not look like exactly as you pictured either.
> I do think people should frequent the positive boards more often. I think *I* should be on the positive boards more often.


"I dont ***** i adjust" I live by that now. And we dont have to be positive, we just have to try really hard to not be negative.


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