# FINALLY stood up for myself in a meaningful way



## RyanAdams (Aug 15, 2008)

I asked my dad to show me how to change the oil in my truck, and he said he would. So he got under my truck and started to get really dizzy. He got up and looked really out of it and had a hard time keeping his balance and got really sick. So, as I tried to help him back to his house, person B comes out and got on the other side of him...and swatted my hand away from him. I was taken aback, and then as we got closer to the house, person B looked at me angrily and asked why I let him get under the truck (he's a big guy, you can't control him, that's why). I was taken aback again, and tried to be nice. Finally, we got him in the door, and as I was about to walk inside behind him, person B closes the door on me and blocks my way in...kinda like what bullies do. I don't know what came over me, but after years of trying to appease this person to an exhaustive degree, I got angry and let them have it--telling them that it wasn't ok to place the blame on me without getting the full story, nor was it ok to block my way into the house so we could presumably have another "Ryan, it's all your fault chat." So for once, rather than bowing my head and towing the line, I stood up for myself. I'm one step closer in a long journey to being like the superheroes I admired as a kid. Now, if I could just get this spider I dunked in toxic waste to bite me. I think that's how this works.


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## swiv2D (Oct 20, 2005)

Good for you dude, person B whoever it may be had no right, sound like he was taking any sort of frustration out in you.


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## RyanAdams (Aug 15, 2008)

Thanks swiv2D. It's a start.


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## sherbert (Jun 24, 2005)

That's really awesome! Standing up for yourself is always a difficult task and one the often leaves you with a bit of uncertainty. Some people are bullies and they act that way b/c it allows them to control their environment-- or it gives the perception of control. By standing your ground, you're asserting that your opinion matters and you deserve a level of respect. It's not really important whether the other person 'gives' you respect, but it is important to be heard. Anyways, I am sure that other people have their own take, but it's something that I have thought long and hard about before. 

I think too often people who struggle with mental issues have a difficult time being assertive. Part of that, I believe, is that they generally devalue themselves. Awesome job!


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## FTFADIA (Jul 26, 2011)

Good job! I have this problem as well, I hate confrontation and would rather avoid it at all costs. Its nice to hear someone similar to me stand up for themselves. In the rare instances I do stick up for my self I feel good but at the same time I feel a little guilty that I may have made the other person feel bad. How did you feel after? You feel now that in the future it will be easier to stand up for yourself not just with person b but with anyone?


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## mind_games (Nov 30, 2008)

Good going Ryan!


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## fatelogic (Jun 21, 2011)

you are SAS of the month, if you ask me.


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## RyanAdams (Aug 15, 2008)

Thanks everyone I haven't thanked yet.



FTFADIA said:


> Good job! I have this problem as well, I hate confrontation and would rather avoid it at all costs. Its nice to hear someone similar to me stand up for themselves. In the rare instances I do stick up for my self I feel good but at the same time I feel a little guilty that I may have made the other person feel bad. *How did you feel after? You feel now that in the future it will be easier to stand up for yourself not just with person b but with anyone?*


Just like you, after I calmed down I felt guilty about it. I feel a lot of empathy for people's feelings, and I want to treat people the way I want to be treated, so that's screwed with my head and made standing up for myself pretty tough. I don't think it'll get any easier either. If I get this TV job I'm auditioning for, it might pay me enough where I'll have enough money and time to weight train and build some muscle and pursue martial arts training. That might help...or not, we'll see. Good on ya for standing up for yourself, too.


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## Christina123 (May 26, 2011)

How did person B react when you went from the shy pushover to standing up for yourself?


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## layitontheline (Aug 19, 2009)

That's great. I love reading posts about people standing up for themselves; it's awesome to hear.


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

Hey, good for you. If the spider won't bite, I see a power ring in your future


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

Christina123 said:


> How did person B react when you went from the shy pushover to standing up for yourself?


I'm curious about this too. I hope whatever their reaction was, it hasn't put you off of what you did for yourself.

Good for you, this was great to read!


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## RyanAdams (Aug 15, 2008)

Atticus said:


> Hey, good for you. If the spider won't bite, I see a power ring in your future


NOOOOOO! I don't want to be the Green Lantern...or one of the kids from Captain Planet(pretty sure you're talking about the Green Lantern). :lol I'd rather be Superman. I've always wondered how my love life would be if I were Superman (without that outfit though). Nice to talk to a fellow Missourian by the way.



Christina123 said:


> How did person B react when you went from the shy pushover to standing up for yourself?


Well, they actually groveled for my forgiveness. But they're not the most emotionally stable person out there. I wouldn't get that reaction from most people, I don't think.


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## tutliputli (Feb 22, 2009)

Brilliant! Well done on handling it so well.



RyanAdams said:


> Well, they actually groveled for my forgiveness. But they're not the most emotionally stable person out there.* I wouldn't get that reaction from most people, I don't think.*


Maybe not the grovelling but they'd certainly respect you and probably feel rather stupid for being such a moron. People generally only behave that way if they think they can get away with it. Hopefully this person will treat you better from now on.


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