# My girlfriend hit me today.



## Propaganda (Oct 26, 2010)

I met my GF at her best friends apartment. When I arrive (9pm) she is passed out drunk, so I am like WTF do I do now? 

Well, I hang out with her best friend (female) which has a BF and is trying to get with her neighbor (she is poly). We drink, and drink, and drink... and drink a little bit more. So now it's just me and my GF's BFF walking to the gay club to go dancing. We dance. Talk to strangers. When we get back she casually kisses me on the cheek and says "Thanks for going dancing w/me". 

I don't remember this as I don't even remember walking back from the club I was so wasted. The morning comes and I wake up on the couch cuddled up with my GF. My GF starts to grill me on what I did last night, so I tell her everything: I drank, danced, talked to gay dudes, talked to a lesbian, nothing special. But, then she asks me if I made out with her BFF, I said no. She continues grilling me, I try to assure her the best I can, not in a jackass way, but a caring person way. She is still extremely upset her BFF gave me a friend kiss on the cheek as we walked in the apartment (which she has done in the past anyway).

So I tell my GF I have no control if someone kisses me on the cheek and to demonstrate my point I gave my GF a kiss on the cheek... she quickly gave me a stern look and slapped my face really ****ing hard! Then she says, "That's how you have control". WTF! I have control over other people kissing my cheek by slapping them when they do? Needless to say I packed my bag and walked out the door wordless. 

I never been hit before nor have I ever struck a women (I am a gentle guy). I find the situation both disturbing and oddly hilarious. She is taking medication for paranoid schizophrenia, so I try my best to keep everything on the up and up for her sake. But this time she not only crossed the line she probably dynamited all the bridges between us.

After I left she texted me that she is sorry and asked if I am coming back; she called and I did not answer. I texted her I am not coming back, don't want to talk, and need to be alone.

We've been dating for almost three months, but I think this ends it. :|

*edit* Bad diction, super hung over.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

You're completely in the right dude ! There are lines you don't cross, and physical violence is one of them.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Well, there's two lines - she crossed one, but so did he.

I would have to ask if your girlfriend knew if you went dancing with the other girl. If you did, it would still imply that something happened between the two of you - more verbal than anything else. The club scene would be a bit toward social stuff, but not something that would cause problems between the two of you. You could have even badmouthed your girlfriend to this girl and vice versa.

Next time she is passed out drunk, just go home. You are supposed to be visiting her anyway.


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## BKrakow (Jul 8, 2010)

that is whack. I'm glad you realize her behavior is unacceptable. definitely dump her.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

It's probably best to end it now before you get in deeper and too attached. If not, expect a very rough ride with such a person. Not worth it.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

dancing or no dancing, hitting is never acceptable, and all that you describe sounds desperately unhealthy. Walk away.


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## Propaganda (Oct 26, 2010)

millenniumman75 said:


> Well, there's two lines - she crossed one, but so did he.
> 
> I would have to ask if your girlfriend knew if you went dancing with the other girl. If you did, it would still imply that something happened between the two of you - more verbal than anything else. The club scene would be a bit toward social stuff, but not something that would cause problems between the two of you. You could have even badmouthed your girlfriend to this girl and vice versa.
> 
> Next time she is passed out drunk, just go home. You are supposed to be visiting her anyway.


Yes, she knew we where going dancing, we asked her several times but she just wanted to sleep. Going dancing was even her idea.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Propaganda said:


> Yes, she knew we where going dancing, we asked her several times but she just wanted to sleep. Going dancing was even her idea.


Well, you know there was a line crossed with her and she did overreact.
Basically, it is up to you. If this kind of thing happens often, I would walk away from the relationship. If it is a one time thing, then I would stay at it. I would say she was hurt - by you guys, but more from herself.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

^ I'm sorry, but I disagree with you, MM75. it is unacceptable for anyone to hit anyone with whom they are in a relationship, ever (self defense is a different matter. hitter should never have hit hittee in the first place). 

I don't care what lines were crossed. if she found his behavior unacceptable, she should have simply stated this and then decided whether or not to stay with him, or whatever.

to not do so displays an appalling lack of maturity and control over one's emotions.


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## kikyoumiko (Nov 24, 2009)

leonardess said:


> ^ I'm sorry, but I disagree with you, MM75. it is unacceptable for anyone to hit anyone with whom they are in a relationship, ever (self defense is a different matter. hitter should never have hit hittee in the first place).
> 
> I don't care what lines were crossed. if she found his behavior unacceptable, she should have simply stated this and then decided whether or not to stay with him, or whatever.
> 
> to not do so displays an appalling lack of maturity and control over one's emotions.


Exactly. She hits you once, she might do it again over something else. I applaud you for walking away.


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## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

I laughed when I read you kissed her and that was her response. 

But I think you are in the right to be annoyed.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

Physical violence in relationships is unacceptable, props to you for walking away!


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## offbyone (May 5, 2010)

I think you should go dancing with her BFF again.


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## SoWrongItsRight (May 9, 2012)

Physically abusive relationships suck.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

What she did is unacceptable. I would agree with walking away.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

That's not good if she hit you just after dating 3 months. Yeah I think it is best for you to be away from her. What she did wasn't right, but what you did didn't make you look like a saint either. Question: Why on earth would you go out drinking and getting drunk, dancing with her BFF alone??? I wouldn't be happy at all. If I was the gf I would've sat down and talked to you and the BFF.



Propaganda said:


> Yes, she knew we where going dancing, we asked her several times but she just wanted to sleep. Going dancing was even her idea.


Sorry I just read this now. So it was your girlfriend's idea from the beginning. I don't think she has a right to get so mad at you then if it was her idea and she didn't go. She should talk to her BFF about the issue moreso. She shouldn't have kissed you on the cheek. I would be mad at my BFF if she did that to my boyfriend. Was she drunk also?


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Yeah, she crossed the line big time. Put it this way, how would you feel if your dad, mom or best friend just up and hit you for a silly reason? Would you forgive them that easy? **** no. She doesn't seem good for you.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

gomenne said:


> Even though this is a pointless thread, and I dont know why I posted in it, anyway.
> You'r making it sound like you were sitting there innocently watching tv or something, and she slapped out of the blue. Obvioulsy she did that because you did something, you'r putting all of it on her, not fair. It's your fault from the very start.


Uh, no it's not. He didn't ask to be kissed on the cheek, and he sure didn't ask for his girlfriend to smack him in the face! I don't see how you think he is to blame for this... she was clearly out of line for what she did. Totally unacceptable.


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## HeavyweightSoul (Jul 24, 2012)

relationshipabuse.com lmfao


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

Break it off. If the situation was reversed, you could easily be in jail.


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## AwkBoy (Jun 7, 2012)

When I read the title I thought it would be about some kinky sex experience, then I remembered you can't talk about sex on here, for what reason I do not know. 
Anyway, this instance seems like an isolated incidence. I'm not implying you don't have the right to be upset, but don't cast the blame 100% on her because it's not like she slaps you around 24/7 for no reason. 

Besides, the only way she could really hurt you is if she picked up a weapon, gouged you eyes out, punched you in the throat, or just stomped your nutsack in lol


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## James_Russell (Aug 26, 2011)

Sounds like a drama queen. A kiss on the cheek isn't cheating, and definitely doesn't warrant a slap in the face lol.

Maybe let it cool off a bit. But personally I'd probably break it off. If hanging out with other girls is that much of an issue for her. I mean, I bet she has guy friends lol. Who have probably kissed her on the cheek once or twice :lol


And also, wow if there's one thing I wouldn't want if I'm hungover, it's definitely that >< lol


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## MaxPower (May 1, 2012)

Propaganda said:


> I met my GF at her best friends apartment. When I arrive (9pm) she is passed out drunk, so I am like WTF do I do now?


I have heard of too many cases of alcohol poisoning to leave anyone passed out, so I would be more worry about her health than what I going to do for the rest of the night. But that's me.



Propaganda said:


> Well, I hang out with her best friend (female) which has a BF and is trying to get with her neighbor (she is poly). We drink, and drink, and drink... and drink a little bit more. So now it's just me and my GF's BFF walking to the gay club to go dancing. We dance. Talk to strangers. When we get back she casually kisses me on the cheek and says "Thanks for going dancing w/me".


In my books, you didn't do anything wrong here, as long as she was safe (as per above) and the "dancing" was G-rated.



Propaganda said:


> I don't remember this as I don't even remember walking back from the club I was so wasted. The morning comes and I wake up on the couch cuddled up with my GF. My GF starts to grill me on what I did last night, so I tell her everything: I drank, danced, talked to gay dudes, talked to a lesbian, nothing special.


Wasted or not, you didn't tell her about the kiss, even if it was a friend kiss.



Propaganda said:


> But, then she asks me if I made out with her BFF, I said no. She continues grilling me, I try to assure her the best I can, not in a jackass way, but a caring person way. She is still extremely upset her BFF gave me a friend kiss on the cheek as we walked in the apartment (which she has done in the past anyway).


The fact that you kept the kiss from her, gives her reasons to assume there was more to the story than what you are saying.



Propaganda said:


> So I tell my GF I have no control if someone kisses me on the cheek and to demonstrate my point I gave my GF a kiss on the cheek... she quickly gave me a stern look and slapped my face really ****ing hard! Then she says, "That's how you have control". WTF! I have control over other people kissing my cheek by slapping them when they do? Needless to say I packed my bag and walked out the door wordless.


Although I would say her angry was justified, that doesn't give her the right to hit you and in my opinion, her reasoning doesn't hold water. No-one has the right to hit anyone else, unless in self-defense, and a kiss doesn't warrant a hit.



Propaganda said:


> But this time she not only crossed the line she probably dynamited all the bridges between us.


I think both of you crossed the line, that said, I'm not going to give my opinion because I don't know the history. I believe only you can answer the question whether the relationship should be saved or not.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

I have not put up with far less than this, :lol

You could've avoided the situation but her reaction was terrible. Ask yourself if you see it getting any better..


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

MaxPower said:


> I have heard of too many cases of alcohol poisoning to leave anyone passed out, so I would be more worry about her safety then what I going to do for the rest of the night. But, that's me.
> 
> In my books, you didn't do anything wrong here, as long as she was safe (as per above) and the "dancing" was G-rated.
> 
> ...


Exactly. Best advice in this thread.


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## Propaganda (Oct 26, 2010)

MaxPower said:


> The fact that you kept the kiss from her, gives her reasons to assume there was more to the story than what you are saying.


Incorrect, I did not remember the kiss hence why I did not say anything about it, my GF was the one who told me about it. More than likely the kiss is not even the real issue. It seems as though she was upset that when I came back I did not immediately give her affection. (I was in the bathroom correcting the issue of overdrinking)

Also, I did mention my now ex GF is a paranoid schizophrenic; at times I notice she lets her imagination get the best of her and she does on occasion demonstrate obvious delusions. Based on her degree of adamancy in believing shenanigans occurred am inclined to suspect she was unable to separate thoughts caused by common jealously with reality.

Yes, G-rated dancing.


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## MaxPower (May 1, 2012)

Propaganda said:


> Incorrect, I did not remember the kiss hence why I did not say anything about it, my GF was the one who told me about it. More than likely the kiss is not even the real issue. It seems as though she was upset that when I came back I did not immediately give her affection. (I was in the bathroom correcting the issue of overdrinking)


You are the one that did the over-drinking, therefore you are responsible for everything that came afterwards. Lets turn this around, what if you was at a friend's house waiting for her and you pass out, you wake up to a noise at the door. You look through the peephole to see your drunk best friend kissing your drunk girlfriend. What would you do?



Propaganda said:


> Also, I did mention my now ex GF is a paranoid schizophrenic; at times I notice she lets her imagination get the best of her and she does on occasion demonstrate obvious delusions. Based on her degree of adamancy in believing shenanigans occurred am inclined to suspect she was unable to separate thoughts caused by common jealously with reality.


If you already made up your mind why are you trying to justify your reasons to strangers?



Propaganda said:


> Yes, G-rated dancing.


You remember that, yet you didn't remember the kiss? Odd.


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## Propaganda (Oct 26, 2010)

Your logic is flawed; you can not be held responsible for the actions of others when there is no provocation. The kiss was not concealed, it was inside the apartment, on the bottom of the steps with my GF right there. A peck on the cheek nothing more; I was a bystander to the event.


Adding details to deepen an explanation to a violent reaction does not indicate a mind is made up or I am attempting to justify anything. 

The kiss was at the very end of the night when the BAC was the highest, dancing was in the middle of the might when the BAC was moderate, hence why I remember dancing and not the kiss.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Just curious, but do you have a thing for the friend by any chance?


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## Propaganda (Oct 26, 2010)

Good question. No, I do not have a thing for her. To be fair, she is physically attractive and has a stellar personality, but she polymonogamous (a turn off for me), extremely extrovert (huge turn off), and generally just not my type. Would I like to be with her for a night pending if I did not have a GF? Yes I would, but at the same time no. My higher functions have more control than my libido over my decision process.


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## MaxPower (May 1, 2012)

Propaganda said:


> Your logic is flawed; you can not be held responsible for the actions of others when there is no provocation. The kiss was not concealed, it was inside the apartment, on the bottom of the steps with my GF right there. A peck on the cheek nothing more; I was a bystander to the event.


I'm just trying to follow your logic and you seem to have you memory back...



Propaganda said:


> The kiss was at the very end of the night when the BAC was the highest, dancing was in the middle of the might when the BAC as moderate, hence why I remember dancing and not the kiss.


...no wait, it's gone again.



Propaganda said:


> Adding details to deepen an explanation to a violent reaction does not indicate a mind is made up or I am attempting to justify anything.


If you believe 100% that it wasn't your fault, why did you tell us this story? Or more importantly, why are you asking for our opinions on it? And why are you trying to get us to take your side?


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

Yes, relatively mild physical altercations aren't that rare in relationships, but blatant slaps to the face are. Imagine the gall needed to slap your lover hard right in the face, or the amount of underlying warped thinking/emotions going on needed to set that off.

I doubt people would be blaming him for getting hit if he were female. It's irrational - and as though they can't believe a female could attack unprovoked.

I wouldn't hold out hope she'd behave better in future. People are like meat robots always repeating the same behaviours. I used to think it was only a general guide but have realised their behaviours are much more ingrained than that.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

VanDamMan said:


> Break it off. If the situation was reversed, you could easily be in jail.


Trying going to the police in this situation and the guy probably would get laughed at.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

Dump her. I knew a guy who was in an abusive relationship for a number of years. He have black eyes, teeth and scratch marks on him, he'd complain he'd be kicked out of his house by her.


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## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

odd_one_out said:


> People are like meat robots always repeating the same behaviours.


Lol, true. It always happens when the weight against their egos is too much to bear -- a reversion to the wild kingdom. This point varies greatly from person to person.


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## unknown123 (Dec 21, 2011)

Get away from her. Next time she might do some real damage and falsely accuse you of harming her. That will ruin your reputation and land you in prison.


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

She has shown you the tip of the iceberg, so props for handling it like a man. 1)not hitting her back...and 2)standing up for yourself and not taking her BS.


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## hmnut (Aug 8, 2011)

Agreed the TC did the exact right thing. There is NOTHING he could have done that justified the girlfriend hitting him, NOTHING save hitting her first. 

If this other girl kissed the TC and his girlfriend is upset about that, that is worthy of a conversation (which it sounds like he was trying to have) but as soon as she resorts to violence she loses the moral high ground.

The TC deserves a pat on the back for riding the absolute right line between not responding to violence with violence but at the same time not taking it.

I believe people with SA are a lot more prone than others to find themselves victims in dysfunctional and abusive relationships... YES MEN TOO!!!! And it always starts with a simple hit that can be explained with "I was upset." or "I didn't think I hit you so hard."

She hit him, that makes her wrong, no matter what the TC did.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

If this was a woman getting hit by a man...I'm sure the attitudes in here would change. Unless people would just blame the woman anyways. It's still not right to hit anyone in the face be it a man or a woman. If you are so angry then a slap an object.


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## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

meganmila said:


> If this was a woman getting hit by a man...I'm sure the attitudes in here would change. Unless people would just blame the woman anyways. It's still not right to hit anyone in the face be it a man or a woman. If you are so angry then a slap an object.


But that would be too logical....


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

It's kind of strange knowing that a girl slapping a guy in the face isn't right, but it still gets portrayed on tv shows like nothing is wrong with doing it.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

shyvr6 said:


> It's kind of strange knowing that a girl slapping a guy in the face isn't right, but it still gets portrayed on tv shows like nothing is wrong with doing it.


It's not right for anyone to do it


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

bwidger85 said:


> It's not right for anyone to do it


I know that. I was just pointing out that tv shows still show girls slapping guys to this day and it just gets played off, but if a guy did it, people would be calling the cops.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

"That's how you have control." Yikes. What was she expecting you to do? Hit her best friend? :sus

WTF is right; you shouldn't stand for it. Aside from the fact that she was violent and regardless of your sex that's really f-ed up, she had no evidence of you guys making out, plus she's only been with you for three months and she felt entitled to hit you... 
Run.


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

Sounds like she has a lot of baggage already with those issues, and slapping you like that... lol.

Be thankful you got out after 3 months because it would have gotten a lot worse. btw, she sounds crazy as **** and unready to be with anyone. goodluck.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

shyvr6 said:


> I know that. I was just pointing out that tv shows still show girls slapping guys to this day and it just gets played off, but if a guy did it, people would be calling the cops.


I know. From that some girls think it's ok to do that cause of what shows and movies do. Expect to get hit back lol....I mean really...


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

Frankly, I'd give her a few more chances. It might have been wrong but if you like her, the relationship might be worth a bit of a sting from a slap.


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## garycoleman (Feb 9, 2012)

My g/f bites me a lot and they are usually hard enough to leave bruises. I know it's weird but I enjoy it.


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

Sorry dude I would have grabbed her hard by the shoulders and said wtf is wrong with you! Gotta put the pimp hand down, don't hurt her but let her know she can't burn ur house down or stab u without it gettin real. At a certain point, violence becomes equal oppurtunity, not this situation but say she pulled a knife or gun.


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

shyvr6 said:


> I know that. I was just pointing out that tv shows still show girls slapping guys to this day and it just gets played off, but if a guy did it, people would be calling the cops.


Hell yeah


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## low (Sep 27, 2009)

Don't drink so much.

Dump her.

Slap any more that do that to you back.


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## tuneindropout (Nov 14, 2011)

*Dump her*

Honestly, never give someone who resorts to violence second chances. She was angry and took an opportunity to vent her anger at you by slapping you - not cool! You're sweet and deserve a sweet girl.


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## Katelyn1236 (Jul 10, 2012)

Er...Wow. Hitting is a big no no! I dont give a damn if its a girl hitting a guy- i just dont care- you dont do that kind of thing. I know she was probably hurt by the fact that her friend kissed ur cheek (I think I would be a bit-but just hurt) but it was a drunk one. Anyway...hitting is hitting. Its up to you though if you dump her.


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## Propaganda (Oct 26, 2010)

Yes, I told her politely I do not want to see her anymore. At first she was cool, then she tripped out, then calmed down and was accepting, then she tripped out again. This was all over Facebook and text. Now all I have to do is give her the box. (the breakup box of all her stuff I have in my possession) I am meeting her tomorrow at the library so I can briefly hand her stuff back to her. This I am slightly dreading as I am still, nearly a week later, am at a lose for words over the incident and her tripping out. On one hand I really want to accept her apology as I think she shows signs of remorse, on the other hand I am angry and want to yell at her. Alas, I refuse to yell at her, just not my style; I would rather just watch Futurama by myself and laugh it off.

She told me that she loves me a few days after. Talk about bad timing. I known her less than three months and nothing sends a guy (or just me) running away faster than those three words. (when the feeling is not reciprocated and there appears to be no room for advancement)

Thanks all.


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## Schizoidas (May 11, 2012)

Girlfriends will always try and walk over guys with SA to get the upper hand. You have to stand up to her. She will actually have more respect for you if you do this, women like men to be dominant, not push overs.

So Next time you go fooling around with a girl, when you come home, grab your gf by the scruff off her neck, smack her one, then say; "bitc, you're next".

I don't support violence but in this case it's ok to hit someone back.


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