# Feel like Outcast from Family and Now In-Laws



## Conquer Fear (Aug 11, 2013)

Very complicated, I will try to cut down as much as I can... My dad and sister were always close, and she was "little miss perfect" type with friends who could do no wrong and I was the bad kid/lost soul. 

She didn't want any relationship with me (I think ever) and always went out of her way pretending to. 

So now my sister gets married and her husband and his friends/sister and her wife AND his parents AND my parents all are kinda a big team while I am not included in or invited to anything. I know I really didn't initiate anything, but the sense I got right away after meeting them was I was not any part of any of it, and they all wanted nothing to do with me. I know I am not imagining this, there are signs such as body language, etc. 

So I went over to my parent's house to do stuff on their computer, print out tickets when my scanner wasn't working and today I scanned pics on their scanner. 

Anyway, while I am on their computer for the one or two times I am there as they never even invite me over more than 4 times a year, I did something morally wrong by looking in on E-mails on the computer. F.Y.I, I didn't get anyone's password or log into any accounts, these are all older messages...

Anyway, on 2 occasions, I looked through some and realized that my sister is in regular contact with my parents and zero with me.... she also NEVER Skype's with me even though she convinced me for years she desperately wanted to and I bought and set up the stupid Skype. I initiated Skyping with her once right after Christmas, she has never asked me to in OVER 6 MONTHS NOW. She was basically lying through her teeth.

To make matters worse, I read in some E-mails that my dad is also in contact with my sister's husband's family (his sister and her wife) to the point of signing messages with "Send my love" to her. Also when my sister's husband stayed over the last 2 Christmases, he treated him like GOLD, always laughing/joking with him and going OVERBOARD trying to help him with whatever work he was involved in. Even the way he treats my sister's friends who he barely knows is ten times more friendly than how he treats me. Worse than anything, he is in regular contact with my sister all year through Skype and my mom too. They also are in very good standing with my sister's husband's parents. From the E-mails that I know I was wrong in one way or another for reading, I am not told about any important events, and never consulted with or asked for advice on anything. 

My point is not really to complain, I just feel like in my family I am not only not cared about, but almost targeted in some weird way to be outcast by everyone due to my lack of career, along with my refusal to lower myself and display phonyness/politeness that they ALL seemingly show in spades. 

I just really feel it is shocking how badly I am treated, I don't take it personally and not complaining as there are like a billion people without clean drinking water not to mention endless shelters/poverty while I get fat on beer and eat well. 

Again, I know I shouldn't be complaining, as I am older now and I should have my own life to live (which I don't) but I still am pretty shocked and devastated right now about how I am treated, avoided, and dismissed like I didn't freaking exist.

Anyway, if anyone has any legit responses to anything I posted, I would like to hear. Or if anyone can relate or is in a similar situation.


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## Conquer Fear (Aug 11, 2013)

I guess no one is touching this one haha. I admit it was way too long-winded a post and too heavy... part of it is I guess imagined on my part, either way don't feel too close to family right now... without family support, it trickles down to other relationships.


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## Just Here (Jul 16, 2013)

That's a sad story and I'm sorry the pain they have caused. I just wondering why you have any thing to do with them? I know it not healthy to walk away. But these people are hurting you and making you question there love. From what you wrote nothing good will come from confronting them. I just would limit my time with them and not be drawn in to a fight it will do know good. They don't even see the problem they cause you.


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## Conquer Fear (Aug 11, 2013)

Thanks, I think many if not most are unintentionally hurting me. Either way, doesn't make it any easier. At least I confronted every single one on their B.S. and called them out on it. Part of me might have overreacted...

The main theme that I am most upset about is that everyone in my family/friends/girl I was seeing just leads me along... like if they see me, it is usually to kinda "shut me up." In other words, they usually don't initiate calling or wanting to see me, I have to usually break down and call them which they then show up out of some obligation. 

The over-polite-ness also drives me up the wall. Like they will criticize me for little things, then apologize for not calling or seeing me as they have all been "busy" I guess I will never know what it is like to be in demand.


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