# To get 5 dates in the next 11 days. Will approach 50 girls.



## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

I live in a city where there's this really big carnival type exhibition that lasts for over a week this time of year. Everyday, over 100,000 people everyday will go to it (more on weekends). There is a real buzz during this time where the whole city transforms into this party zone, I imagine it is similar to Mardi Gras minus the flashers. You can actually get those beads when you lose a game at the carnival haha. 

Last year I couldn't go because....well I didn't have anyone to go with, and I didn't want to go alone. This year, I will try to go on the busiest days with a girl. The nightclubs will be very busy but I don't know if I'll go to those, because it's like a circus atmosphere in there during this time of year, and I'd rather meet people under normal circumstances, but we'll see.

I have no prospects. I'm not exagerating. None. It will have to be either walking up to someone and just asking them....or messaging random people on the internet (although probably not as much because time is against me here). So why am I doing this? Because I would like to have fun and go to a carnival and also go on a date. It's like killing two birds with one stone. And I like to be with girls I'm attracted; I don't have much SA when I'm with them even out in public. Oh yeah, and also because I haven't gotten a gf for years and years. I've only had 1 date in the past 9 months.

I think the biggest problem of social anxiety is that we don't like listening to the sound of our own voice. We subconciously try to speak as quickly or softly as possible. Being confident means enjoying your own voice and talking as much as you want. Just today I was at the mall. Usually when someone asks for help, I look at them for a split second and say "I'm just looking around" and then quickly divert my eyes and pretend to be shopping. Today, this hot girl asks me, and then I maintained eye contact while saying the same thing. The eye contact alone gave me a feeling of so much power. I was thinking how funny it would be to just say random things to these people just to see their reaction. 

The carnival has already started. Even if I am only 10% successful with the approaches, 10% * 50 girls = 5 dates. I am assuming that I will have slightly higher percentages, maybe 25%, that way I would only need to approach 20 girls; but I'm willing to do 50. I've only really approached 3 girls in my entire life. Once was in college a couple years ago. It went okay, she was talkative but I didn't ask for her number, and she lost interest because I didn't ask. The second was this really horrible one where I walked up to my crush last year, asked her some trivial question, she gives me a one word answer, and that was it. If I actually continued talking I'm sure it would have went okay. The third was at a mall, where I recognized her from college although she didn't, and talked for about 10 minutes. It had its awkward moments, she was never into me, although I still have her phone number. 

I was even thinking in terms of virtual reality. If I was in a video game, would I really be this anxious? Would I even care what the other person is saying? I'm going to experiment with that idea next time I go to the mall and see what happens.

So, the only criteria is that I have to be physically attracted to her, and hope that she has a good personality. Hopefully one of the girls will be worth having an actual relationship. Right now, I'm into girls who are leggy, thin, smooth skin, and curvy. And it begins...


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

*re: To get 5 dates in the next 11 days. Will approach 50 gi*

This is a hard goal. I know, I have tried. If you pull it off, then :nw

Go to google. Type in the words "Albert Ellis", "dating", "100" and "women".

Inspiration from the grandfather of CBT.

Ross

PS to my mind, confidence is the ability to forget yourself, and your own needs, long enough to want to wonder what makes the other person tick. And then find where you mesh.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

Holy crap! You don't call yourself 'Strength' for nothing.


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## daaaaave (Jan 1, 2007)

Wow, I wish you luck. That is a lofty goal.


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## embers (Dec 19, 2006)

*re: To get 5 dates in the next 11 days. Will approach 50 gi*



> Being confident means enjoying your own voice and talking as much as you want


Thanks for this tidbit :agree [/quote]


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## Gameplan (Jul 11, 2007)

*re: To get 5 dates in the next 11 days. Will approach 50 gi*

Good luck with this!

Im doing something similar, which I just posted about in the triumphs over social anxiety forum. or well not similar, but I think it's related!


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## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

andy1984 said:


> Holy crap! You don't call yourself 'Strength' for nothing.


lol

No kidding. Good luck Strength!


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

This is a massive one. I really want to hear how this turns out. I'm nowhere close to even imagining myself doing such a stunt. I'd be aiming for 2% success rate.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

*re: To get 5 dates in the next 11 days. Will approach 50 gi*

Hehe this was 24 days ago - come on dude, what happened?? I HOPE you are gonna say "jesus now I gotta date 50 women" ...

Ross


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

*Re: re: To get 5 dates in the next 11 days. Will approach 5*



yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> Hehe this was 24 days ago - come on dude, what happened?? I HOPE you are gonna say "jesus now I gotta date 50 women" ...
> 
> Ross


Maybe he did get a 100% success rate. He's probably too busy with girls all around him to post on SAS anymore. :con


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## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

*re: To get 5 dates in the next 11 days. Will approach 50 gi*

Anyway I made this original post because I saw this girl...this was at a mall close to my place. She looked like a hispanic or mediterranian girl. She looked very much like a girl next door, very angelic, wholesome, carried a bag with Tinkerbell on it, and was wearing casual booty shorts. She had the nicest butt and the nicest legs. She was waiting for friends or something, and I could have approached her for like 10 minutes, but I chickened out. Looking back, it was so stupid. I mean she was wearing a bag that had Tinkerbell on it, imagine how easy it would have been to say something like "Disney movies are for kids! haha" I think someone from my old high school actually walked past me during this anxiety. That frustration and anger was what made me make this post in the first place.

This is going to be hard to write, I don't remember everything...I didn't really keep track of it this time (which I should next time because I learn more that way)...so here as far as I remember....

Day 1:

Drove to a mall on the opposite side of the city. See this really nice looking classy asian girl, ahh I forget to approach. I kind of turn around and walk for about 10 seconds wondering if I should say something, but thought it seemed too creepy. Really bummed out that I missed that opportunity. I see another girl who is not really my type, (I like them thin and good girl looking, and she wasn't that thin but still attractive)...and I again don't approach. I don't know why I care if I'm just taking someone out on a date or socializing, it's not like I'm planning on marrying her. Geez. Go to the foodcourt, and see this really pretty slender brunette just sitting there by herself playing on her cellphone. She constantly looks around so I'm not sure if she's waiting for someone. I remember she was wearing shorts cuz she had nice legs. I think I hesitated, walked around for about 10 minutes, and she was gone. It was very late, I think I was busy for most of this day, so I didn't have much time at all.

Day 2:

I went to the far away mall again. I like feeling away from home. See this really pretty girl walking. I remember talking to her online years ago...and I remember her living with her fiance or something....so I didn't. Walked to the bookstore and saw the most gorgeous girl. Very tall, model-ballarina type body, dressed in heels, mini skirt, black sultry top....not the type of girl you'd expect in a bookstore...and by herself...seriously I'd rank her as #1 on looks that I've seen in the past 6 months. Wait a second, I thought...I remember seeing her on Facebook! I get all hesitant now for some reason....and what sucks is I thought of a good opener...I was gonna walk up to her and say "you know, you're tall enough that you don't have to wear heels" and smile. But all these thoughts were going through my head. And she was like an inch or two taller than me. It's weird that she intimidated me on that, cuz she gave off a friendly vibe. The weird thing about this is that I did end up contacting her online, and she laughed about how I didn't talk to her in real life, and was very nice to me - even teasing me about not approaching her. See, women WANT to be approached! Arguably, the hottest girl I'd ever seen and she's wondering why I didn't just go over there. Anyway, we still send messages back and forth. That's what is stupid about online though, is it takes awhile to build rapport, whereas in real life, give me 5-10 minutes. I talk to a girl in a convenience store...she is young and so I kind of lose interest, and plus I was feeling tired.

walked into a mall close to my place. Saw gorgeous blonde with a girl friend walking to Starbucks, so I went in and stood behind her. She looked young though when I got to see her face...probably still in high school lol So that kind of made me hesitant. (I do wanna state that the legal age where I am is 16. I would prefer girls a bit older ofcourse) Anyway, girls certainly did not look like that when I was in high school. Just genetically blessed....tall, blonde, perfect smooth skin, curved in places that are unreal, big blue eyes, tight low cut jeans. What struck me, was that I knew I could not view women as robots or some computer game for this goal...because listening to her talk to her friend about her dad buying a car and how her mom was mad at him, she seemed very much down to earth, human, and nice. Chemistry only works if you're thinking about the other person and CONNECTING with them as humans.
The problem was that there were tons of people in this Starbucks. And, somehow, on my 2nd day of this journey, it was kind of hard. There was a guy behind me, who was also staring at that girl lol...it was kind of hard to think of a topic. And even if she was too young for me, I'm just socializing for god's sake. I was once again just too serious, and constantly trying to think of some "logical" conversation piece when I should have just said anything like "hey aren't you too young to drink coffee? it's a drug you know....you know what happens when I drink coffee...I can't wake up in the morning and I get jittery...like this one time...blah blah blah" And that's all. If you just open your mouth and talk, 99% of people will listen as long as you're not some psycho begging for money or preaching.
I was walking at Old Navy, and this girl who is kind of cute walks very slowly beside me...I know I could have opened her, but I was still thinking about the previous girl.

Anyway...sorry to cut this day short, I'm out of time...and I'll be going on vacation soon...so hope you guys have a happy summer!


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Thanks for the detailed update. Getting out on the "playing field" was a big step.


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## daaaaave (Jan 1, 2007)

Dang, you know everyone on the internet, lol. I wish I could actually see some hot girls around here so I could approach, but all they do in the summer is go from the parking lot to class and I never cross paths with anyone.


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## Mamaragan (Aug 30, 2007)

I would never do this, you my friend have balls of steel.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

man who is that girl in your sig? she is very beautiful


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## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

Hey, yeah she's Megan Fox...I saw her from Transformers.


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