# Overcoming Low-Self Esteem CBT book 'read-along'?



## upndownboi (Oct 7, 2010)

I've just started reading a CBT book called: Overcoming Low Self-Esteem by Melanie Fennell.










I'm finding it a really difficult read because of what its confronting and I guess I'm feeling a bit alone in tackling this scary thing. Is anyone else interested in reading it with me?, obv at some comfortable pace to roughly stay in synch. I was thinking we could read it through together, doing the exercises etc and discussing stuff and giving eachother support. I just want to say that it probably will bring up upsetting issues for you though, but I would just ask that you're also fairly committed to seeing it through.

I appreciate this is really asking a lot so I know most won't be interested but for anyone that feels strong enough and wants more out of life get in touch! the more the merrier!

Thanks for reading.


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

Do you have a digital/kindle version, if so I'd be happy to read along with you..


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## Sierpinski (Jun 17, 2012)

Your request is so sweet and disarming, my first instinct was to buy a copy and follow along. But I read in one of the amateur reviews that the book involves revisiting painful moments in one's life. Having had well over a decade over therapy and having read tons of self-help books, I don't think I'm up for more of that. But I would share a thought that recently occurred to me. I think that a lot of developing self-esteem involves thinking less about oneself, although that may sound paradoxical. I think it is important to find some big cause, something bigger than oneself that one believes in, and to work for that cause. It's a way of taking some attention away from oneself while nonetheless respecting oneself as an agent for that cause.


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## upndownboi (Oct 7, 2010)

newbornmind said:


> Do you have a digital/kindle version, if so I'd be happy to read along with you..


i don't  I take it with that version you can share passages and stuff? I have the paperback (and have ordered the workbook), I have kindle on my phone though so I'll look into it, I'll have every version of it at this rate!


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## upndownboi (Oct 7, 2010)

Sierpinski said:


> Your request is so sweet and disarming, my first instinct was to buy a copy and follow along. But I read in one of the amateur reviews that the book involves revisiting painful moments in one's life. Having had well over a decade over therapy and having read tons of self-help books, I don't think I'm up for more of that. But I would share a thought that recently occurred to me. I think that a lot of developing self-esteem involves thinking less about oneself, although that may sound paradoxical. I think it is important to find some big cause, something bigger than oneself that one believes in, and to work for that cause. It's a way of taking some attention away from oneself while nonetheless respecting oneself as an agent for that cause.


thanks for your reply, hope I haven't misunderstood you but for me personally in the period I had healthy SE i thought just as much about myself as now, I just didn't feel the need to talk about my feelings as much as there weren't any painful feelings I needed to release. The problem I'm encountering with having a bigger purpose than myself is that I very subtly and automatically seem to discount the positive while personalising the negative to fit in/confirm with my self-view-I've become somewhat of an expert at it. Anyway this means theres never any personal reward and the activity just ends up draining me via the low-SE precautions I put in place (perfectionism etc). Ppl with healthy SE seem to have a distance between themselves and their negative experiences and they can automatically personalise the positive and draw strength from it to keep going forward, even from the little things-especially from the little things.

Edit: I know Drew was looking into facilitating some kinds of therapy via the site so that sounds promising for the future. There are large numbers of us here who I feel could really benefit from this type of work, there are pre-requisites for it to work ofcourse though.


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## upndownboi (Oct 7, 2010)

Perhaps I'm asking too much, I just feel if there was a dedicated group of us wanting to attack the book it would make it so much more effective- from peer moral support to lending a sense of structure and discipline for working through the books's programme in a methodical manner- we could take this book and our mal-adaptive beliefs APART. how to put such a group therapy into practice is another thing though.

I'm waiting on the workbook but I will try to post my progress here and people are welcome to follow along or join in.


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

I would but I cant get it. Cant order online because family doesn't know about my SA and I live at home..

They don't have many books on SA in stores in my country. I have no problem discussing concepts in it if you give a summary though.


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## Chatise19 (Dec 31, 2011)

I would read little summaries or nitpicks of it, but I've already spent 20$ on a SA book called What you must think of me by Emily Ford. Thats a book recommendation btw lol


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## ThePride (Jun 25, 2012)

Hey dude , I'd love to read it along with you. I don't mean to disrespect the auther nor the buyer but I downloaded it from the internet. I always do this to check if the book is any good and if it is I might buy the physical version later. If anyone else wants to join in I could provide a link to where I downloaded it if you would be interested but don't have money or can't buy internationally. 

Maybe we could make a skype group or something that might be useful as a medium for communication.


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## upndownboi (Oct 7, 2010)

Chatise19 said:


> I would read little summaries or nitpicks of it, but I've already spent 20$ on a SA book called What you must think of me by Emily Ford. Thats a book recommendation btw lol


thanks! I'll have a look for it 



ThePride said:


> Hey dude , I'd love to read it along with you. I don't mean to disrespect the auther nor the buyer but I downloaded it from the internet. I always do this to check if the book is any good and if it is I might buy the physical version later. If anyone else wants to join in I could provide a link to where I downloaded it if you would be interested but don't have money or can't buy internationally.
> 
> Maybe we could make a skype group or something that might be useful as a medium for communication.


I think the skype group thing is a good idea, me and newbornmind have been playing with the exact idea.


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## THEuTASTEsOFeINKd (Apr 10, 2010)

Hey, just wanted to thank the OP for bringing this book to my attention. I've never read a self help book before because I thought them to be rubbish but I was wrong. I used to think that I didn't have many problems but now, reflecting on my habits and behaviours of the past 6 or so years, it's obvious that I should have seeked help long ago. I'm only 50 pages into it and I feel like this book is really going to help me narrow in on my irrational predictions and to challenge them. I can't wait to set daily goals for myself and experiment to test my predictions. It'll be scary but I'm ready.


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## upndownboi (Oct 7, 2010)

THEuTASTEsOFeINKd said:


> Hey, just wanted to thank the OP for bringing this book to my attention. I've never read a self help book before because I thought them to be rubbish but I was wrong. I used to think that I didn't have many problems but now, reflecting on my habits and behaviours of the past 6 or so years, it's obvious that I should have seeked help long ago. I'm only 50 pages into it and I feel like this book is really going to help me narrow in on my irrational predictions and to challenge them. I can't wait to set daily goals for myself and experiment to test my predictions. It'll be scary but I'm ready.


thats ****ing awesome man! :high5 we need more people telling their stories of how they're working toward KO-ing their issues.


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