# making friends in university



## Moonflower (Feb 18, 2006)

hey everyone, I am new here...

I am in 2nd year at university and I am feeling kinda lonely. Last year I lived on campus but I kinda screwed it up by not making too many friends from my floor. I just couldn't deal with 40 teenagers (I am older than most of them) running around being crazy and loud all the time. I was extremely stressed out because of the loud environment, that never erally felt like home to me. I liked most of them, but I avoided them because they were always in huge groups and it stressed me out.

So it made this year worse due to the fact that I made only a few friends, and 2 of them did not come back this year, I had a falling out with another one, which leaves me with like, 3 friends basically (and one of them is so super busy I hardly see her).

It seems most people this year have formed their social groups already, so I'm having a hard time finding new friends. My roommate invites me out with her, so I have gotten to know most of her friends, which really helps. But I am not "really" friends with most of them...they are just aquaintences at the moment. I guess at this stage I am just working hard at getting to know my aquaintences better, since I don't really know how else to meet people...my classes are all so large it's tough to get to know anyone in them. And I want to join a club but I have checked them out and there is literally nothing that interests me! So I can't even meet people by doing that!

Well I guess I just felt like getting that off my chest, and seeing if anyone else knows how I feel...or any suggestions are welcome!


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## Argo (May 1, 2005)

Heck, three friends is pretty good. Try zero for the last 10 years (me). Sounds like you're doing about right and I doubt anyone here could give you advice you haven't already given yourself. I'd stick with your roommate (looks like you're moving into her circle) and maybe reconsider whether any of the clubs do interest you. I mean, no interest at all? I'm sure there's some that you'd at least be willing to visit and check out. You could also check your paper or online and see what non-school clubs there are in your area that appeal to you.


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## Moonflower (Feb 18, 2006)

Thanks...yeah I guess I could be worse off. The only problem is my roomie (and all her friends) graduate this year, so in a few months they'll all be gone. And my one good friend doesn't really invite me out with her and her roommate's friends...I don't know why...I guess I just feel kinda like a loser that I go out with my roomie, but she never comes out with me because I never GO out drinking with my own friends (the 1 never invites me, the other hates clubs and the other is way too busy). 

I guess I just feel stressed out because almost eveyone expects me to act like a party animal (which I am not!) just because I'm in university. One of my friends from back home even told me that I'm a hermit/loner! Which might be true but I don't appreciate when people say that to me, as if it is a bad thing or something! I sorta stopped talking to her because she always asks me if I'm meeting lots of pjeople and going to lots of parties and keggers and stuff and obviously the answer is "no." I mean I'm just not like that. I feel like I'm always trying to cover up who I am, because when people find out I am not 'Miss social butterfly' with 500 friends, they act disappointed, or think I am boring...


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## Scattered (Feb 5, 2006)

There's nothing wrong with being a solitary person. It only becomes "wrong" when you're solitary but wish to be extroverted and are therefore hurting yourself. If not, then so what? everyone has different personalities, its just unfortunate that so many people aren't accepting of others who are different.


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## crystallizedtear (Feb 9, 2005)

I am solitary but really wish to be extroverted...sighs...


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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

Yeah, I've been taking a course in uni aswell. To be honest I haven't put in the effort of making friends just yet. It just seems everyone is so different that I am. I've been focusing on not freaking out on other things. If all goes well and I'm in full time this fall then I'll put in the effort. But I can relate to how you feel.


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## cellardoor (Dec 12, 2005)

I am in my first year of university. The people seem mature and nice but i jus dont know where to meet people either. I talk to some people in my classes, but how do u become friends with those people. Its harder when you live off campus though, which i do. Oh well im sure there are lots of ppl in univ. looking for friends. Hey if anyone on here goes to york university or is in toronto for that matter mssg me i wouldnt mind meeting someone new.


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## zelig (Apr 15, 2005)

There has to be at least ONE club that interests you. It is hard to get to know people in big classes, but its not impossible. Make an effort to talk to the people you sit next to and stuff.


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## grizzlybare (Feb 27, 2006)

I'm in 3rd year uni, I would suggest to you to get to know the people in your groups very well...always show up for meetings on time and just be yourself. Thats how I met my current group of friends.


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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

cellardoor said:


> Hey if anyone on here goes to york university or is in toronto for that matter mssg me i wouldnt mind meeting someone new.


 I'm not a york student but I am in Toronto.


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