# Need help with choosing a therapist



## AndyLT (Oct 8, 2007)

Hello,
I've decided to see an expert. And I need your help on how to choose a good one.

*Budget*: Not big. Probably, enough to cover 2-3 sessions.
*Aim*: To receive a concrete diagnosis. To get some guidelines for self-help.

*My questions*:


A psychologist or a psychiatrist?
A woman or a man?
Old and, probably, experienced or young and, possibly, energetic/innovative?
Private cabinet or a bigger clinic?
*Should I call him/her before and ask if:
*

He/she has experience with SA?
Is willing to do a short 2-3 sessions therapy?
*Any other tips?*

Thanks for your answers.


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## AndyLT (Oct 8, 2007)

Come on, there must be lots of people with tons of experience in this field.


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## rachelynn (Sep 12, 2008)

I'm just guessing...

For what you want, I'd pick a psychologist. From what I've read/heard, psychiatrists are mostly just for when you want meds.

Who would you feel most comfortable with, a man or a woman? that would be your answer.

I prefer the old, experienced ones. But not SO old. More like 40s-50s. Late 30s is ok too.

I've noticed that bigger clinics are often way busier than smaller places. When I went to a clinic I got around one appointment per month. At a smaller place, I got one every week or one every 2 weeks.

It might be good if you ask if they are experienced with SA. But I have never done that, but perhaps that is a good idea, especially if you just want a few sessions, you would want someone who knows what they are doing to begin with.

I think there would be many out there willing to do just a few sessions. Also, you should see if they have a sliding scale, the price may be lower based on your income.


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## AndyLT (Oct 8, 2007)

Thanks for response rachelynn.

You say that a psychologist would be enough for my case. So, a psychiatrist has more medical background and is capable of giving drugs. What is the advantage of a psychologist? Are they more affordable?


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## Arbor (Jun 17, 2009)

I had this goal in mind before but wasn't successful because I saw the wrong people. This is what I did....

The person I saw the longest was a psychologist. He refused to diagnose me. The issue I saw him for was SA and he acknowledged it because that's what we'd talk about but he avoided giving me the diagnosis when I asked him. I think his clients were probably people just looking for someone to talk to. He wasn't very proactive.

The other two people I saw wouldn't do it either, one was a psychiatrist and the other was a psychoanalyst in training. The psychiatrist actually had 45 minute sessions and prescribed medicine too, which was unexpected since I thought they only prescribe meds but I guess the types of therapists are varied. He had the same attitude as the analyst - they didn't diagnose people (In fact, I mentioned avoidant personality disorder to him and he went wha???. he was an experienced (30+ yrs) person too). So some don't even work with them. She explained it as: she wanted me to "see myself as a whole person with different conflicts and not divided into precise labels, which only exist for insurance companies." <-- view of psychoanalysts in general I think, at least the part about seeing your mind as a whole. She said that after I told her I just wanted to kill the anxiety, but she said the anxiety was the visible facet of other unconscious problems (again, this is how the school of psychoanalysis sees things I think).

So I guess my advice is don't see a psychoanalyst if you only want a diagnosis. :b

I don't like energetic ones because it's harder for me to talk about serious things with them. Also they remind me of my sister. I can't confide in women shrinks for that reason. That doesn't have any impact on my relationships with women IRL but confiding in an analyst it'll be harder for me to talk about my problems with my sister growing up.

It's my only option right now though to find one who's training and will lower their price. I'm still looking for one I can get along with. When it comes to professional help, I do better at confiding in old people. I feel like they won't be as surprised by what I tell them, and they're far enough from my age to be distanced by the culture I grew up in... That might sound silly, but if you feel more comfortable seeing a certain type of person, that's what you should do. It's very important to be honest about whether or not you can confide in them completely. If you don't get along with them, you don't need a reason to stop seeing them other than that. I just told the person we weren't compatible and that was that.

And that's all I know about therapy.....


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## AndyLT (Oct 8, 2007)

Thanks Arbor for the info. It seems that you weren't lucky to meet a really professional specialist who cares more about healing than money.

This is what I fear the most. Spending tons of money just to hear some generalized ideas from uninterested "specialist".


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