# The ultimate triumph over Social Anxiety Disorder



## zendog78 (Jan 27, 2010)

Its funny I should start posting here at this time because I have had a bunch of things happen in my life of late that has more or less cured me of Social Anxiety.
I didn't suffer any 2 bit anxiety disorder either. I am 32, I have suffered it since I was about 16. I have spent years living as a hermit in my early 20's, I have had partial success with SSRI's only to have them stop working time and time again. I have abused alcohol and drugs only to have it rebound worse than ever into my face. I have tried therapy but it never worked other than to give me some support for the **** I was going through. It never was able to change my thinking, my chronic worrying, my constant stress that socializing, grocery shopping, working or even walking into my lounge room with my house mates caused.
I have basically lived the last few years with my clonazepam crutch to get me through the day. 
But now I am free of even that, I have been on a medication for the past few months that with a dose adjustment in the past few weeks has smashed my inhibitions. That drug is Nardil, I am now back at work, happy, feeling sociable, having hope for the future. 
But something else happened, something that cut to the core of my faulty thinking and freed me. 
I went to an amazing festival that ran for 3 days and nights a short time ago. I had been dancing to electronic music for a few hours when suddenly I was overcome by euphoria, this warm feeling rushing all over me. I hadn't taken any drugs, lsd and the like being illegal in Australia, the only thing I can figure that happened is that I worked myself into a state of trace with the dancing and the beats and the physical exertion. This wikipedia article explains it well http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trance
I looked around and saw people dancing, I could see they were self conscious about it and I was struck by how ridiculous it is, to worry about what a total stranger in a crowd of people thinks about you're dancing.
I saw how people can judge you in situations like this, offload their own insecurity and try to make you feel small to make themselves feel bigger and I realized that you don't have to let these people in. They can laugh at you or mock you or point at you but it's only when you give these people value or credibility that they can have any power over you. If however you regard them as nothings, scenery, big fat zero's then they cannot touch you. They are just background noise.

In this society we are so worried and concerned about being nice and polite that we give people who add no value to our lives so much time, all in the name of manners.
But I propose a different way of looking at things which is that this is my universe, and if you're going to intrude on it you had better come bearing something of value or I am going to shut you out. You are going to be a zero, a nothing. This isn't an absolute position, I think its important to remain tolerant and friendly, but you can do that whilst shutting out some or all of that person if you feel that they are bringing negativity your way.

We give people way to much credibility, the fact of the matter is that most people are not worth the time and energy, frankly, most people are ****. They live shallow, consumer driven, unexamined lives. They don't have opinions gained from looking hard at the facts, talking to others and thinking...they just parrot what they heard someone say in the media. 
Most people don't seek to understand, only to escape...in banality and triviality which is western culture. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bread_and_circuses

And these are the people we worry so much about, stupid ignorant people who don't give a **** about you. These are the people who give you panic attacks.

Let me break some news to you, you are more powerful than you could possibly imagine. Everything you see around you, its yours, you have total control over what you see. You just need to make a decision, even the wrong decision as long as you make it and put your heart into it and you can change your universe, everything you see if your universe.

If you can take the position that you are all powerful within your own universe (which is the truth http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Existentialism)
and that everyone around you is worthy of only common courtesy and is basically just another drone until proved otherwise and let into your universe. Then you are god
And what kind of god gets anxious about mere mortals. About inconsequential things.
This may sound harsh and non PC and maybe a little hard to follow but we have so little time on this planet, if your going to get anxious around people, shouldn't it be around people who are actually your betters?

Thanks for reading.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

I agree with all your points, particularly the ones about who to let close to you, and who not. 

All this is made so much easier by knowing yourself, who you are, what your values are, and what's important to you. then you can decide what you are or are not willing to put up with, and who you want to associate with. then everyone else's opinion ceases to be, the be all and end all of your self worth and image. Which then in turn gives you freedom. 

As you point out, there's so much more that goes into all this, but you've summed it up nicely. 

Great post, and congratulations to you!


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## zendog78 (Jan 27, 2010)

Thanks dude, I think I may have decended into rambling at the end but I am too tired to try and clarify at the moment.

I don't have all the answers and i am still digesting my experience but I really think so much of our suffering comes from a fear of being alone. 
I used to live as a gay man, I didn't feel acceptence then
Now I live a hetrosexual life, still the same stuff.
You will never find the universal acceptance you crave, people won't like you for all kinds of reasons. Only by giving up, not caring and finding your mission in life and steadfastly focusing on that can you pull everything into perspective. It doesn't matter what, just pick a path and eventually it will lead to the right one. You have to seek before you can find. Treading water gets your nowhere.
Again I digress... Would like to hear what others think about what I have to say. Cheers
Brad


“One always dies too soon - or too late. And yet one's whole life is complete at that moment, with a line drawn neatly under it, ready for the summing up. You are - your life, and nothing else.”

Jean-Paul Sartre


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Welcome, ZenDog78!


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

I agree. We deserve to be more selfish, and we CAN ignore what we consider to be "politeness" to become happier (most people will secretly hate you for being nice). Everything is out there for our benefit, it's just waiting for us to take it.


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## Atari82 (Jan 19, 2010)

nice inspirational story


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## jook (Nov 25, 2009)

Brad, it sounds to me like you had a spiritual experience where you suddenly "knew" a basic truth about how we should think of ourselves. Interesting that you put it "...you are god."


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## zendog78 (Jan 27, 2010)

Thanks, and the good thing is I did it without the help of any hallucinogens. Not even one drop of LSD on my hand by a random stranger on the dance floor. Even though there is huge ammounts of research into the benifets of psychedelic's, that would be breaking the law and the people in power obviously know best for me so I would never do that. Nup :teeth


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## mimirandmemory (Feb 1, 2010)

Thank you for this. I actually experienced something similar at a rave (no drugs) my freshman year which got me through the first three years of high school until my thoughts began resurfacing. And I often feel on the verge of that breakthrough again after being at concerts for so long. The fact that you have spelled it out is so incredibly beneficial.

Just today, I was thinking how completely unfair I am to myself by skirting around others when they so clearly don't do it for me. I am ready to put a little selfish back into my life.


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## scuff66 (Feb 1, 2010)

zendog78 said:


> Let me break some news to you, you are more powerful than you could possibly imagine.


This is an inspiring read. I'm going to print it and save it. Thankyou.

A small note: I've consciously avoided negativity in people and cut off many friendships due to the way their negativity affects me. So be it .. they're not pleased and don't understand ... I don't care.


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## DK3 (Sep 21, 2011)

I very much enjoyed reading this post as I have sort of instinctively felt this way myself at times inside.. I generally take the same view as yourself that a great many people are drones and not worthy of your time. Life is too short to waste time on engaging with them, or worse arguing or trying to fit in or conform to silly standards..just "shut them out" as you put it and change the rules for your own universe, don't live by anyone elses.

I'm sort of a "non-conformist" myself, I disconnected my telephone and I hate mobile phones. I tell people to contact me online or use email. I don't answer the door to visitors even government people unless they have an appointment from me in writing. I don't pay my TV license either or do anything the government tells me all those silly census and voting things. I ignore their threats and ignore them completely and they become powerless. I basically do not give a **** what people think about this or what they feel is normal and abnormal. I just do what works best for me.


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## Himi Jendrix (Mar 24, 2010)

Nice revelations. Its like you got high without getting high. lol

Definately a good post. I hope the feeling lasts for you. Another success with nardil. Very good to hear. 

I was once to the point of wanting to try MAOI drugs. MAOIs seem awesome and operate on a relatively simplistic mechanism compared to most drugs. I just wish it was safer with the diet and all. 

I am probably 70% cured with prozac and klonopin and thats pretty darn good for me.


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## stig6 (Oct 4, 2011)

zendog78 said:


> I went to an amazing festival that ran for 3 days and nights a short time ago. ...
> I looked around and saw people dancing, I could see they were self conscious about it and I was struck by how ridiculous it is, to worry about what a total stranger in a crowd of people thinks about you're dancing.


I would be one of those people  I went to Pyramid Rock last New Years for 3 nights (which was a big deal for me; people everywhere, and nowhere to hide!!), and the entire time, I was trying to dance and get into it, but I just couldn't. I felt like people were watching me (even though they weren't), and it ruined the experience a little. What you described sounds amazing! :yes

Fantastic post, by the way


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## humourless (Sep 27, 2011)

zendog78 said:


> Its funny I should start posting here at this time because I have had a bunch of things happen in my life of late that has more or less cured me of Social Anxiety.
> I didn't suffer any 2 bit anxiety disorder either. I am 32, I have suffered it since I was about 16. I have spent years living as a hermit in my early 20's, I have had partial success with SSRI's only to have them stop working time and time again. I have abused alcohol and drugs only to have it rebound worse than ever into my face. I have tried therapy but it never worked other than to give me some support for the **** I was going through. It never was able to change my thinking, my chronic worrying, my constant stress that socializing, grocery shopping, working or even walking into my lounge room with my house mates caused.
> I have basically lived the last few years with my clonazepam crutch to get me through the day.
> But now I am free of even that, I have been on a medication for the past few months that with a dose adjustment in the past few weeks has smashed my inhibitions. That drug is Nardil, I am now back at work, happy, feeling sociable, having hope for the future.
> ...


A very interesting post......your insights really apply to me. I give way too much respect to people who don't deserve it. And then their opinion of you becomes life-threatening!
My only concern is if we all adopt this attitude, there may be no-one truly listening to anyone. Sometimes you have to tolerate a little of someone's negativity...their bad behaviour...in order to get to the "good stuff"...their positive attributes. Do you undertand what I'm trying to say? I mean there is a danger if we all go round spinning in our own universe without compromise.

But your advice is really crucial to polite, sensitive social phobics like myself who tend to roll out the red carpet when others arrive on the scene.


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## ASAR (Sep 14, 2010)

i like this post


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