# Would you rather be good at making friends or having romantic relationships?



## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

Please assume that one will not lead to another, because sometimes it doesn't. Many, including myself, have friends, but don't get to have relationships, and yet really want a romantic relationship. On the other hand, people that attract a lot of romantic interest seem to really want more friends.

And why?

I'm asking because there seem to be a number of threads lately asking why good looking people have SA. I do believe good looking people can have SA, but, to be honest, I'm a bit jealous of those people. Really, I think I would give up my ability to make friends to have women approach me more often in a hot minute. I think I'd also give up my friends themselves for a girlfriend I like. From what I understand, many people who become involved in a romantic relationship do that anyway, since they lose interest in/don't have time to hang out with their friends.


----------



## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

Friends anyday. Having "connections" can get you far in life.


----------



## anonymid (Oct 16, 2005)

Tough call, but I went with friends.


----------



## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

I am not good looking, but I don't find it difficult to start/maintain romantic relationships.

I'd rather be good at making friends. I guess you always want what you don't have.


----------



## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

I believe I am better at having romantic relationship then making friends. I dont know what I would prefer. But I cant change what I have anyway. 

I also have the gift of destroying romantic relationships


----------



## BreakingtheGirl (Nov 14, 2009)

I'd rather be good at romantic relationships. It is a different sort of meaningful to me than friendships. Im not even sure how to explain it. I do have friends but there is just something about a close intimate relationship that beats trying to make friends anyday.


----------



## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

If its with the right person, you have romance and a good companion wrapped up in one person.


----------



## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

Tough call. Too many people just stresses me, so I feel like I'd rather have a smaller number of people I'm closer to than more people I'm not as close to. Romance is about as close as you can get, so I _think_ I could be happy any without friends if I had the right person. Though I might also be happy with a few close friends and no relationship, I'm not sure. Hard to predict.

I'd gladly take being good at either.


----------



## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

pita said:


> I am not good looking, but I don't find it difficult to start/maintain romantic relationships.


Nice try, pita, but I've seen a picture, and you're hot.


----------



## pollster (Oct 4, 2009)

Atticus said:


> If its with the right person, you have romance and a good companion wrapped up in one person.


This.


----------



## steelmyhead (May 31, 2009)

Maybe I should have read the comments before voting cause some good points have been made. I voted to be able to make friends.


----------



## 2Talkative (Nov 1, 2007)

I've never had a romantic relationship so I choose that over friends as I "had" friends before.


----------



## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

I would choose relationship over friends. To be honest I never had much desire for wanting friends in the first place. But maybe that's the loner in me talking.


----------



## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

I've already experienced making friends but not having relationships. I think this time I would try the other one. At least I would have one friend which is my romantic interest, lol.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

I'll be the party pooper and not vote because they both go hand in hand. Friendships are relationships; relationships are friendships! LOL, but w/e...


----------



## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

Romantic relationships, because I only need a couple of people around me to feel content. The idea of friends plural makes me feel suffocated and I would have to deal with the added hassle and stress of failed romantic relationships.


----------



## strawberryjulius (Jun 28, 2009)

Why isn't there an option "Suck at both but have 10 cats?" :b


----------



## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

STKinTHEmud said:


> Nice try, pita, but I've seen a picture, and you're hot.


That made me lol. But thanks anyway.


----------



## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

I guess the 1st option, because If you're in a really strong relationship then the chances are that the person you're going out with will become your best friend anyway...

Very deep-thinking subject for this hour of the morning, I need a lie down now


----------



## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

I would rather be good at making and keeping friends.


----------



## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

making and keeping friends here, too.


----------



## VeggieGirl (Dec 11, 2009)

I think I would rather be good at making friends.
I mean I am in a perfect relationship and I love my girlfriend dearly, however I think before I met her if someone said I will hand you 5 best friends on a plate or 1 girlfriend I would choose the friends.


----------



## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

odd_one_out said:


> Romantic relationships, because I only need a couple of people around me to feel content. The idea of friends plural makes me feel suffocated and I would have to deal with the added hassle and stress of failed romantic relationships.


Yes, I know what you mean.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I voted relationships because I've seen those films where the couple are in essence all they have & I think given that I can manage without too many contacts for long periods that having one good relationship could do wonders for me


----------



## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

And here I thought the overwhelming majority would choose romantic relationships over friendships. I wonder if this is "an other side of the fence" thing, that those of us that that have one but not the other really want the other.


----------



## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

Friends


----------



## Miami (Jul 21, 2009)

both are good but I think I would rather have friends.

because I remember back in highschool, when I would break up with a girl or if I was just "down on my luck"... my friends would be around and we would go to a party or something and have fun to forget about all my problems.


fastforward to a year or two (or three) ago, when I had a girlfriend but no friends, when she broke up with me it was horrible becuase I didnt have friends to pick me back up when I "fell".

so all in all, if I had to choose, I'd rather be better at making friends. and the real type of friends that would have your back no matter what like I used to have.


----------



## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

STKinTHEmud said:


> And here I thought the overwhelming majority would choose romantic relationships over friendships. I wonder if this is "an other side of the fence" thing, that those of us that that have one but not the other really want the other.


Not for me. I've never had a "true" relationship, but I'd still choose friends over a relationship.

But then again, maybe part of the reason why I think that is because of my bad experience with my one LDR :stu


----------



## solasum (Nov 17, 2008)

I'd rather have a romantic relationship.


----------



## SilentLoner (Jan 30, 2006)

odd_one_out said:


> Romantic relationships, because I only need a couple of people around me to feel content. The idea of friends plural makes me feel suffocated and I would have to deal with the added hassle and stress of failed romantic relationships.


:yes I feel the same.

Looks like a tie at the moment, btw.


----------



## sacred (May 25, 2009)

making friends. personally i find romantic relationships to be incredibly boring however meeting new people all the time and acquiring an army of friends and social connections sounds like a life of excitement. 

really.. go climb mount everest with a big group of friends or watch a movie and cuddle again with girl number 18 im about to bang..cmon!


----------



## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Atticus said:


> If its with the right person, you have romance and a good companion wrapped up in one person.


That's exactly what I was thinking. A romantic partner should ideally be a best friend -- with the added benefit of sexual stuff!


----------



## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

I was just thinking: A while ago met an awesome girl at a party. We had a nice conversation for about 45 minutes, and I thought she might be interested, so I asked for her number and she gave it. Feeling good about where this might lead, I called her, and she asked me to come to another small party with her friends. I asked if she wanted to go for coffee before that. She told me she had a boyfriend (which she neglected to mention at any time before this) but that she'd like to be friends. I said I'd think about going to her party, but knew I wouldn't because I have enough friends and don't have the time to really get involved with another group of friends.

She wanted friends, but had a boyfriend, and I wanted a girlfriend, but had friends. So it goes. Although I did take a strange sort of pleasure in rejecting her as a friend, however right it was for me, perhaps because I don't think it's fair that she gets everything she wants from me while I get nothing of what I want from her.


----------



## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

I chose romantic relationship, because for me I value one on one connections more than I have ever cared about quantity of relationships. I would like to know every thing about another that I can. Instead of scanning through many relationships and not truly meeting the "real" people. 

Plus why can't your significant other be some one who is your best friend too, or was that already established.... bleh time to read the thread.....


----------



## Cleary (Nov 10, 2007)

Atticus said:


> If its with the right person, you have romance and a good companion wrapped up in one person.


This.


----------



## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

BetaBoy90 said:


> Plus why can't your significant other be some one who is your best friend too, or was that already established.... bleh time to read the thread.....


I don't think anyone ever said that an SO can't be a friend, too.


----------



## Deathinmusic (Jun 5, 2009)

This is actually not a very easy choice, because I really want to be able to have both a significant other and friends. But since I have to choose I would rather be good at romantic reationships. I simply need that pure intimacy and passion more than I need other kind of companionship. It's more fulfilling to me. I have spent much of my life alone, so I'm kind of able to go without either a girlfriend or friends, but the longer I'm lacking both, the more painful it is becoming.

I really really want to be able to feel a sense of community one day, but even more than that I need to have someone to really love with all my heart and have them love me back the way I am.


----------



## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

Well I'm already better at keeping romantic relationships than maintaining friendships. I don't really mind because when I like a guy he's all the company I need.


----------



## Groundskeeper (Feb 6, 2010)

Atticus said:


> If its with the right person, you have romance and a good companion wrapped up in one person.


Bingo!


----------



## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

It's true that when you have a good romantic relationship, you also have a good friend. My bf is my best friend and I like it that way.

But sometimes I just wish I had more people to talk to.


----------



## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

Unfortunately, having a lot of friends doesn't mean you always have someone to talk to, especially if you're a guy. I feel that I can't really share much with my friends, usually because when we hang out, we want to keep the mood light. And I don't really call my friends unless we're planning on hanging out. My best friend doesn't even think I'm really a virgin.


----------



## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

I can barely keep up with the small number of friends I do have. I don't need any more of those right now (unless they are really fun and will pay me to quit my job and travel the world with them).


----------



## slkjao (Aug 5, 2009)

i think u need both equally. idk if u dont have any friends i would first go for making friends and then seeking a gf/bf


----------



## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

Atticus said:


> If its with the right person, you have romance and a good companion wrapped up in one person.


Absolutely true! But I'd rather not put "all my eggs in one basket," because when the relationship ends, it's like the end of the world. Been there, don't wanna be there again! Yep, it's my goal in life to have a nice, _healthy_ balance between the two...


----------



## ktbare (Sep 13, 2009)

Making friends definitely. I'm sick to death of relationships.


----------



## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

I take back my vote. I want romance.


----------



## anonymid (Oct 16, 2005)

STKinTHEmud said:


> Unfortunately, having a lot of friends doesn't mean you always have someone to talk to, especially if you're a guy. I feel that I can't really share much with my friends, usually because when we hang out, we want to keep the mood light. And I don't really call my friends unless we're planning on hanging out. My best friend doesn't even think I'm really a virgin.


Well, if this is what's meant here by "friends," then I'd change my answer to "romantic relationships." I don't just want buddies to hang out with; I want friends that I can be open and honest and myself with--people I don't have to feel like I'm hiding anything from. I don't want to have to always keep the mood light.



Neptunus said:


> I'd rather not put "all my eggs in one basket," because when the relationship ends, it's like the end of the world. Been there, don't wanna be there again! Yep, it's my goal in life to have a nice, _healthy_ balance between the two...


Same here. This is exactly why I went with the friends option.


----------



## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

And even if the relationship doesn't end, it's never good to focus all of one's attention on one person. It takes really healthy self-esteem not to have a bad day when your loved one is having one, or is angry with you.


----------



## moxosis (Aug 26, 2009)

Want your bad romance.


----------



## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

moxosis said:


> Want your bad romance.


Ditto, and not because it happens to be a song.


----------



## blair (Feb 1, 2010)

Relationship.


----------



## metallica2147 (Feb 15, 2010)

pita said:


> I'd rather be good at making friends. I guess you always want what you don't have.


True. But I don't have either.


----------



## Nintendo (Nov 17, 2009)

Seeing that I don't care about having a lot of friends (2 or 3 is fine with me), I'm going with "romantic relationship."


----------



## mixolydian (May 23, 2009)

Romantic relationship, definitely the more fulfilling


----------



## iuseings (Nov 11, 2009)

I'm the type of person that can maintain close intimate relationships (friendships and romantic partners) but I can't keep a social network or make acquaintances.


----------



## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

anonymid said:


> Well, if this is what's meant here by "friends," then I'd change my answer to "romantic relationships." I don't just want buddies to hang out with; I want friends that I can be open and honest and myself with--people I don't have to feel like I'm hiding anything from. I don't want to have to always keep the mood light.


Hmm. I'll pass on that kind of 'friend', too.

I want friends that I can relate to like I relate to my boyfriend, sans long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners, etc.


----------



## HarrietTheSpy (Aug 26, 2010)

I'm not really good at making friends or relationships, but I guess I could count myself as good at keeping relationships since I am married ;D

I voted relationships. I'm pretty happy how I am, with no friends but one husband.


----------



## Kakaka (Apr 7, 2010)

Some really interesting answers here...

I've never really had a problem making "friends" but as it stands, I'm not particularly close to any of them and they can come and go with as little a goodbye as a text message. 

So I went for relationships as I'd rather have one really strong connection then several tiny, superficial ones. Plus it'd make a change :blank


----------



## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)

friends.


----------



## Emptyheart (Sep 15, 2009)

Making friends.


----------



## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

Friends definitely.


----------

