# My wife convinced me to see a m/h professional again...



## James of Maine (Sep 8, 2005)

I brought up my problems last night, and we had a very lengthy discussion about it. She suggested it, is making the appointment, and is going with me to "hold my hand," so to speak. It's done... it's out of my hands... I can't procrastinate or turn back now. I think the person I'm going to be seeing is a psychologist... but I'm not sure. This is through an employee-assistance thing that my wife's employer subscribes to, that also covers spouses and dependents. I get up to three free one-hour visits.

I have no high expectations. I don't know what to expect really. Realistically, I know I have struggled with anxiety and depression all my life, and will probably continue to do so for the rest of my life. But I know I have to do something to manage it better. I saw a family doc a few times 4 years ago, and a psychatrist a few times 8 years ago-- that's it. Both times the treatment basically consisted of a cursory discussion of my present symptoms, and then prescribing anti-depressants and monitoring how they worked. 

I hope I can focus more on the possible root causes, as well as a clearer idea of what is actually "wrong" with me, and possible ways to deal with it, besides just medications. If the psych recommends I go back on some kind of meds, I'll listen, of course.

Anyway, I'm hoping this will help... I don't think it will hurt, and I have nothing to lose here anyway, since it's free.

Edited to Add: Yep, the person I'm going to see is a doctorate-level psychologist. She's going to call my wife back tomorrow to set up the appointment.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

JamesOfMaine,

How did it go? I hope that things will improve a little. I think this is a good opportunity to get the door open. It will help :yes.


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## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

You're lucky to have someone like your wife.


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## A -Mom-With-SA (Jun 9, 2006)

Hey james,

Sounds like your wife is genuinely concerned and supportive of your recovery..thats really great..I would also encourage you to seek therapy for the depression and anxiety.. in my opinion it is a long hard road without professional help..not to say that it can't be done..but it is beneficial and helps keep us on track..that is, if you can find a good therapist who is familiar with SA and the tecniques for coping with the illness..

I hope your meeting goes well..and if you feel this doctor is not a good match you can always search for another...or look into a low cost mental health clinic ..

Goood Luck 

Take Care of You


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## James of Maine (Sep 8, 2005)

Thanks guys. The appointment is tomorrow (Thursday) evening. The person I'm going to be seeing _is_ a doctorate-level psychologist (PsyD), which is good. By total coincidence she's in the same building (possibly the same floor) as the psychiatrist I went to eight years ago--- but not part of the same practice. This is the first time I'll be seeing a non-MD for mental health stuff. I have no idea if three visits will be enough to discuss all the issues I have, but that's all I get.


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## GIJOE290 (Nov 8, 2004)

Wow, what a great wife! Give her extra hugs for sure! Good luck James and keep us posted!! We're pulling for you!


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## James of Maine (Sep 8, 2005)

Well, I had the appointment. I guess I did okay. I was very, very nervous, but my wife was there for support, and that made all the difference again. I still had a lot of trouble articulating, and was very shaky and sweaty. I made an embarrassing Freudian slip at one point, but I think she shrugged it off, I hope. This psychologist was ten times more empathetic and supportive than the psychiatrist I first went to when I was 20. She was really nice, and seemed to have a lot of insight. She really helped me gain insight and validate a lot of my feelings and experiences. We went more in depth about my family history and childhood experiences, something I have never done with a professional before. We discussed what she felt might be the root causes of my depression and anxiety. It was really helpful.

She's going to have me start doing some CBT stuff, simple mental exercises to begin with. Specifically I have to think of one negative thought I have about myself often, and replace it with a positive one. It's going to be tough, but I'll try it. I also have to "live in the moment," something I sort of already try to do.

I have no illusions that I'll get anywhere near 100% better overnight, or that this is some kind of cure. But I'm willing to try it. Hopefully I'll gain some "tools" to help me cope better, and have a considerably less miserable existence. At some point I might want to go back on meds, and we will discuss that at a later appointment, but she wants me to try the CBT first, since I have been managing ok without meds for so long.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Woohoo, JamesOfMaine! :boogie :boogie :boogie


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## dianac (Feb 11, 2006)

Good going!


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## James of Maine (Sep 8, 2005)

Thanks guys... but getting rid of my negative thoughts is like taking heroin away from a junkie. It's hard but I'm ut I'm trying.

I had trouble thinking of a positive phrase to repeat to myself. I know one of my negative thoughts is along the lines of "Dammit, I can't do this. Might as well give up." So I thought of "I can do this." But then I remembered that that's sorta taken by someone here... Needed to think of something original.

"I do a good job, because I can, and I have been." (x10)

There.

We'll see how it goes.


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## dianac (Feb 11, 2006)

We're with you!


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## FearNoMore (Mar 29, 2006)

I like "I can do this", it doesn't matter if someone else is using it. It could work for you too. Anyhow, good luck!


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