# Somebody PLEASE SHOOT me, IT HAPPENED AGAIN!



## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

Had been dating a guy for a week or so...now he decides he "doesn't want a girlfriend at the moment". WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME? :mum :con


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## SADFighter (May 4, 2007)

Aww, I'm sorry.

There's no explaining things like this. Just happens.


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## sweetxfracture (Feb 2, 2005)

Bah. Guys are jerks.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

if i remember correctly, you said that you meet guys from online? if your conversation turns sexual before you meet them then theres the problem


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## opivy22 (Mar 1, 2005)

Were things getting serious? As a guy, my experience is low pressure is a good thing. Maybe he doesn't want to see you anymore (but as a guy, we usually handle this by "disappearing" if its a short term thing), but it could also be that he isn't immediately looking to get into a relationship. I've heard the exact same thing from girls before and, at least in retrospect, its because I was looking for too much too soon. How often have you two been talking to each other and hanging out? If its like every other day it might be a little too much too soon for him.


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## SilentProphet (Jun 1, 2007)

UMMM cause you keep finding random guys on myspace to hook up with once a week? scumbags perhaps? I hope you get tested after all these " sleepovers" you post about weekly.


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## SilentProphet (Jun 1, 2007)

I don't mean that in a bad way either tho Miss care all, so don't take it the wrong way. But every week on here you post about a new guy you met and went to his house.... it never works out, yet you keep doing it, weekly.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

It's a vicious cycle and I always feel I can relate to LMSA when it comes to guys and dating because they're full of sh*t. Though, after dating a guy for a week, it's probably too soon to expect a relationship, then again, it seems like these guys don't want relationships anyway. 

Another major problem is because we have SA, we don't get out in social situations where we would meet people in real life. Our main way of meeting guys is on the internet and honestly most of these guys are just predators. Myspace is the perfect place for them to meet girls and then toss 'em to the side....on the other hand I tell myself that even if I met guys from real life, I would probably just get the same results. 

I think a break from dating would be a good idea. Just focus on yourself awhile.


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## davemason2k (Feb 11, 2005)

Shauna, go to church and meet a guy there. Too many weirdos online.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

My mom recommended I go to church for that, well not only to meet guys, but I couldn't help laughing.


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## Soul666 (Oct 29, 2006)

Quit dating guys you think are hot, if you want a longer lasting Relationship...
There most likely just after one thing...

Date a Ugly Guy...But nice, there stick around...
Date a Girl...

Church...lol


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## AJFA88 (Jun 16, 2007)

lol...i remembered you had some crush on some guy...and about a camping thing on his birthday...or something. whatever happened to that? 

It happened to me as well with a girl at work. she said she didnt want to be my girlfriend because she didnt know me well enough. Later on we kept on dating(4 months!) and eventually hook up, but it didnt last long anyway


anywayz...I seriously dont know how someone can hook up on myspace. i mean, you would just search and see profile by profile....i mean there are way too many people there. 

also it depends how he said what you are quoting. look at it this way, maybe the guy doesnt want to commit with someone he doesnt know well because you've been dating for just ONE week. 1 week :lol One way to get a boyfriend/girlfriend that fast is if there is some sort of chemistry and both are deep in love. otherwise just take it easy, and get to know the guy.


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## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

*Re: re: Somebody PLEASE SHOOT me, IT HAPPENED AGAIN!*



SilentProphet said:


> UMMM cause you keep finding random guys on myspace to hook up with once a week? scumbags perhaps? I hope you get tested after all these " sleepovers" you post about weekly.


Eeeek! Be nice, be nice! It's so easy to judge others when you haven't walked in their shoes.

And my advice to you is (and I'm religious so excuse me if you're atheist, i'm not trying to be pushy): Pray that your angels help bring a good guy into your life, and trust that they will. In the mean time, God helps those that help themselves so find as many dates as possible, discount no one (those may be the ones who surprise you), dress nicely on your dates, handle yourself like a lady, and write off boys that don't treat you as such--And know that the right guy is coming your way.

Your attitude counts for alot (alot) so I'm sending the best of luck your way.

*On another note, I knew about your break-up via Facebook before SAS, lol.


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## Soul666 (Oct 29, 2006)

*Re: re: Somebody PLEASE SHOOT me, IT HAPPENED AGAIN!*



SilentProphet said:


> UMMM cause you keep finding random guys on myspace to hook up with once a week? scumbags perhaps? I hope you get tested after all these " sleepovers" you post about weekly.


I was thinking the same thing... :sigh



SilentProphet said:


> I don't mean that in a bad way either tho Miss care all, so don't take it the wrong way. But every week on here you post about a new guy you met and went to his house.... it never works out, yet you keep doing it, weekly.


Im sure she will...why wouldn't she... :hide


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

*Re: re: Somebody PLEASE SHOOT me, IT HAPPENED AGAIN!*



sweetxfracture said:


> Bah. Guys are jerks.


Definitely.



SADFighter said:


> Aww, I'm sorry.
> 
> There's no explaining things like this. Just happens.


Thanks



Gumaro said:


> if i remember correctly, you said that you meet guys from online? if your conversation turns sexual before you meet them then theres the problem


Yeah...they sometimes do but not always. Depends on the guy. But it always turns out the same. Either way. I've found it has nothing to do with sex.



opivy22 said:


> Were things getting serious? As a guy, my experience is low pressure is a good thing. Maybe he doesn't want to see you anymore (but as a guy, we usually handle this by "disappearing" if its a short term thing), but it could also be that he isn't immediately looking to get into a relationship. I've heard the exact same thing from girls before and, at least in retrospect, its because I was looking for too much too soon. How often have you two been talking to each other and hanging out? If its like every other day it might be a little too much too soon for him.


Well it was only about a week so it wasn't SERIOUS SERIOUS...but he had told me he thought he was falling in love with me and stuff...we were pretty serious for a couple who'd only been together a week or so... which obviously he wasnt in love with me or anything, or else this wouldn't have happened.
He was the one who ASKED ME OUT...he was the one who wanted to take things fast from the start, not me. I would have been fine with being friends first for a month/a few months, whatever...until he was ready. But now that he seems to wanna go backwards it makes me feel like ****. Because everything was his idea from the start. I mean of course I like him alot......very much. But he was the one who asked me to come stay with him and stuff and asked me out and said he loved me first, etc. etc.... so I don't see why now he decides this.



SilentProphet said:


> UMMM cause you keep finding random guys on myspace to hook up with once a week? scumbags perhaps? I hope you get tested after all these " sleepovers" you post about weekly.


I dont need to get tested. When I do things with people I'm safe about it. I'm not a complete idiot.



SilentProphet said:


> I don't mean that in a bad way either tho Miss care all, so don't take it the wrong way. But every week on here you post about a new guy you met and went to his house.... it never works out, yet you keep doing it, weekly.


No, not weekly. More like...monthly?



Strange Religion said:


> It's a vicious cycle and I always feel I can relate to LMSA when it comes to guys and dating because they're full of sh*t. Though, after dating a guy for a week, it's probably too soon to expect a relationship, then again, it seems like these guys don't want relationships anyway.
> 
> Another major problem is because we have SA, we don't get out in social situations where we would meet people in real life. Our main way of meeting guys is on the internet and honestly most of these guys are just predators. Myspace is the perfect place for them to meet girls and then toss 'em to the side....on the other hand I tell myself that even if I met guys from real life, I would probably just get the same results.
> 
> I think a break from dating would be a good idea. Just focus on yourself awhile.


I don't see the purpose in taking a break...except the fact that it'll save me from more disappointment. But if I dated again after a few months, a year, whatever...it would just be the same thing over & over again anyway. So the only way to cure it would be a permanent break.
This guy really seemed to want a relationship...He introduced me to all his friends as "his girl" and everything...told me he'd never felt more comfortable around anyone, etc... I don't get it at all. I did suspect something was wrong yesterday though. He once referred to me as a "friend"... and just seemed a little different. 
I didn't meet this guy on myspace though, I met him on facebook....basically the same thing though. And I actually had a good feeling about this guy at first. SO TO ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO EVER TOLD ME TO BE MORE OPTIMISTIC...I dare you to ever say it again. It does NOT work. Pessimism is the only way to go.



davemason2k said:


> Shauna, go to church and meet a guy there. Too many weirdos online.


There's no one at church...everyone's too young or too old or something or already has someone.



Soul666 said:


> Quit dating guys you think are hot, if you want a longer lasting Relationship...
> There most likely just after one thing...
> 
> Date a Ugly Guy...But nice, there stick around...
> ...


Thought about the girl thing.......Need to try it, apparently since ALL guys hate me and wish I was dead. I must have been meant to be lesbian. At least a few girls like me...though maybe not in that way...at least they dont hate me & treat me like ****.



Auron said:


> lol...i remembered you had some crush on some guy...and about a camping thing on his birthday...or something. whatever happened to that?
> 
> It happened to me as well with a girl at work. she said she didnt want to be my girlfriend because she didnt know me well enough. Later on we kept on dating(4 months!) and eventually hook up, but it didnt last long anyway
> 
> ...


Ahh the guy who asked me to go camping...he got a girlfriend.
Yeah this guy told me the same thing...he said "We barely know each other, we just met." But he should have thought of that before he asked me to be his girlfriend. Like I said it would be understandable if we'd started out as friends...that would be a pretty normal thing to do. Then maybe dated after a month or a few months, whatever. 
So what he said is that he likes me. But doesn't want a girlfriend right now. Not me or anyone else...he said it would be the same no matter who he was dating right now, that it just wasn't a good time and he just got out of a relationship not too long ago. So I asked if he had feelings still, for this girl and he said no. I asked if he liked anyone else right now and he said no. And I want to get to know him and I told him we could take things slower but he still says he doesn't want a girlfriend right now...He said it didnt have anything to do with me but it's kinda hard for me to believe because this same thing happens to me all the time, and I told him that...so then he said he wasn't like most guys...Guys are all confusing to me though. All the ones I've dated or known, anyway. I thought I had found one who wasnt but apparently not.



NightinGale said:


> Eeeek! Be nice, be nice! It's so easy to judge others when you haven't walked in their shoes.
> 
> And my advice to you is (and I'm religious so excuse me if you're atheist, i'm not trying to be pushy): Pray that your angels help bring a good guy into your life, and trust that they will. In the mean time, God helps those that help themselves so find as many dates as possible, discount no one (those may be the ones who surprise you), dress nicely on your dates, handle yourself like a lady, and write off boys that don't treat you as such--And know that the right guy is coming your way.
> 
> ...


Thanks. I always do dress nice... I never dress ****ty or anything like that. I usually wear jeans and a metal band t-shirt or something when I go out.


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## SilentProphet (Jun 1, 2007)

Stupid SP


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

yikes


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## Soul666 (Oct 29, 2006)

:lol

Guys don't hate you... :stu 

I feel :cry now...


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## AJFA88 (Jun 16, 2007)

SilentProphet, calm down dude :lol why are you taking this so serious anyway...

Miss scare all, my advice would be to lay off dating and focus on other things. you seem desperate to find a guy, whats the rush? i mean, you are young, you got a future ahead, you got good looks. cherrish what you have, and eventually you'll be approached by a nice guy without even trying.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

SP i love you more than i love vincenzo (if thats even possible!) but sometimes you come down a bit too hard on people. i know you dont mean to come across that way but dont forget that people with SA are overly sensetive



> Yeah...they sometimes do but not always. Depends on the guy. But it always turns out the same. Either way. I've found it has nothing to do with sex.


little miss if you talk to the guy about sex before you meet him then there are good chances that thats all he wants you for. my advice, next time youre interested in someone, dont bring up sex. and if he does bring up sex, change the topic or tell him youre not interested in talking about that. i guarantee that a guy who is sencere about being in a serious relationship with you wont even bring up sex on the first date. if he does, then he just wants to get laid and has no intentions of being with you.


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## SilentProphet (Jun 1, 2007)

Here we go again. They just want to have sex with her! They probably allready HAVE girlfriends lol! The joy of online dating!


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

*Re: re: Somebody PLEASE SHOOT me, IT HAPPENED AGAIN!*



Strange Religion said:


> It's a vicious cycle and I always feel I can relate to LMSA when it comes to guys and dating because they're full of sh*t. Though, after dating a guy for a week, it's probably too soon to expect a relationship, then again, it seems like these guys don't want relationships anyway.
> 
> Another major problem is because we have SA, we don't get out in social situations where we would meet people in real life. Our main way of meeting guys is on the internet and honestly most of these guys are just predators. Myspace is the perfect place for them to meet girls and then toss 'em to the side....on the other hand I tell myself that even if I met guys from real life, I would probably just get the same results.
> 
> I think a break from dating would be a good idea. Just focus on yourself awhile.


Trust me, the a-holes of the internet are at the bars, too.

Getting out doesn't mean you have to go to bars. You can meet genuine people by just having a circle of friends, people that you actually know. I'm just not the kind of person to depend on "going out" as a means to my future.


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## SilentProphet (Jun 1, 2007)

I know  i feel bad now. I get carried away. Same thing happened when i got into an argument with penny on the 4th  I have SA too tho, so feel free to attack me, i need a good beating now and then. 

You guys are right tho. I was laying in bed a minute ago and felt bad thinking about what i said in here to miss scare all. I know i said it the WRONG way, but thats all i know how to say things. :stu I'm sorry tho with all my heart. :sigh

I went back and edited my other posts in here. She is still going to hate me tho but oh well!


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## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

*Re: re: Somebody PLEASE SHOOT me, IT HAPPENED AGAIN!*



sweetxfracture said:


> Bah. Guys are jerks.


And women never do anything bad.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I can't believe you guys are laughing about church-going people. I was one until SA and people trying to have me kicked out for it. People made me nervous!  I would go back if I knew they wouldn't be so hostile toward me.

...then again, people were hostile towards Jesus himself!

Anyway, so yeah, there are people in relationships. As long as they are committed and the married ones WEAR THEIR RINGS :mum, I can hang out with the unmarried ones .

Little Miss Scare-All, it sounds like the guys you are meeting have issues of their own. Their intentions are not the same as yours. You are after commitment, and they probably don't know what it is. The first thing about SA is value of self. We are bright people who deserved to be loved - by the right people.


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

Submitting posts about experiences that aren't entirely one-sided and overly critical would probably help. For example, every time this happens to you, you come on here and complain about how the other guy was a jerk...and seek reassurance from your SA posting counterparts. The problem is, you never tell us what happened so it's impossible to formulate any good advice or voice any opinions. So what is it that happened to cause him to leave? Did his decision immediately follow some sort of intimate encounter? Do you think you behaved any way that might have put him off? What did you do when the two of you hung out? More information please, otherwise it just sounds like you go out every other week, get laid and then complain when the guy leaves you the next day.


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## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

*Re: re: Somebody PLEASE SHOOT me, IT HAPPENED AGAIN!*



path0gen said:


> Submitting posts about experiences that aren't entirely one-sided and overly critical would probably help. For example, every time this happens to you, you come on here and complain about how the other guy was a jerk...and seek reassurance from your SA posting counterparts. The problem is, you never tell us what happened so it's impossible to formulate any good advice or voice any opinions. So what is it that happened to cause him to leave? Did his decision immediately follow some sort of intimate encounter? Do you think you behaved any way that might have put him off? What did you do when the two of you hung out? More information please, otherwise it just sounds like you go out every other week, get laid and then complain when the guy leaves you the next day.


The guys that respond to your postings, Little Miss, seem rather hostile, no? I think I sense jealousy here...

And I'm just curious, what if you got a little more dressed up for dates? I know it sounds unnecessary, but I wonder what kind of reaction you'd get from your date if you went with a nice top, pair of jeans, and heels combo? Sometimes little things make big differences.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

I may be wrong, but shouldn't she stick with her personality? That should be the part that matters, no? Not fancy clothes. Oh, whoops, I'm sorry. Sometimes I forget how different I am from general society.


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## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

Dont treat it like a date when you go out, dont let them pay for you or open doors, etc, just treat them distantly as a friend, I say for at least a month, but preferably longer. Get to know them on friends basis first before you start showing interest, its important to know who youre dealing with first before taking a plunge. It is a relationship and the feeling must be mutual, you've got plenty of time, dont rush it. 
Everyone makes the same mistake of jumping the date train and getting caught up in this idealistic illusion of lovey dovey "relationship". I say enjoy the time you have and forget the labels.

and I do agree with NightinGale, make sure to evaluate your appearance. I dont mean to barge into your personal life, but your pictures do send off that badass, likes to have fun vibe, I know its your style and all, but keep in mind mens mentallity. They interpret it differently, they think they'll be getting some on 2nd 3rd date.


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

No offense to silentprophet, but I think path0gen said approximately what SP was trying to say, just more delicately. I don't think path0gen was off base. Since this is the "relationship" forum, its sort of natural for people to offer advice. Maybe forum choice shouldn't matter, but the "frustration" forum seems a better fit if you just want to vent and have people offer undiluted support.

On topic, if you try something repeatedly and it doesn't work, it makes sense to look at what you are doing and try a different approach. You have some control over yourself, but you have absolutely no control over the other person. A different approach doesn't guarantee different results, but the same approach pretty much guarantees the same results.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

I agree ^^^. Pathogen is right on, imo. There is that common saying that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.


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## GTI79 (Feb 2, 2004)

BANG!




there, atleast i took care of your first request. :lol


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## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

LostInReverie said:


> I may be wrong, but shouldn't she stick with her personality? That should be the part that matters, no? Not fancy clothes. Oh, whoops, I'm sorry. Sometimes I forget how different I am from general society.


Personality is on the inside...it'll come out no matter what you wear.

But people will make first impressions of you based on the outside so I always keep mindful of looking appropriate...altho I've always loved the punk-rock look, I don't think I could pull it off so I stay with preppy/girly.

I'm just saying it's worth a shot to see what kind of reaction you'll get. You may be surprised.


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

*Re: re: Somebody PLEASE SHOOT me, IT HAPPENED AGAIN!*



Atticus said:


> On topic, if you try something repeatedly and it doesn't work, it makes sense to look at what you are doing and try a different approach. You have some control over yourself, but you have absolutely no control over the other person. A different approach doesn't guarantee different results, but the same approach pretty much guarantees the same results.


In full agreement. :yes


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

*Re: re: Somebody PLEASE SHOOT me, IT HAPPENED AGAIN!*



Equisgurl said:


> Dont treat it like a date when you go out, dont let them pay for you or open doors, etc, just treat them distantly as a friend, I say for at least a month, but preferably longer. Get to know them on friends basis first before you start showing interest, its important to know who youre dealing with first before taking a plunge. It is a relationship and the feeling must be mutual, you've got plenty of time, dont rush it.
> Everyone makes the same mistake of jumping the date train and getting caught up in this idealistic illusion of lovey dovey "relationship". I say enjoy the time you have and forget the labels.


I wish more people were like you.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

*Re: re: Somebody PLEASE SHOOT me, IT HAPPENED AGAIN!*



BeNice said:


> Strange Religion said:
> 
> 
> > It's a vicious cycle and I always feel I can relate to LMSA when it comes to guys and dating because they're full of sh*t. Though, after dating a guy for a week, it's probably too soon to expect a relationship, then again, it seems like these guys don't want relationships anyway.
> ...


I'm sure they are and bars aren't my scene anyway.

I don't have a "circle of friends" in real life, add that to my list of problems.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

*Re: re: Somebody PLEASE SHOOT me, IT HAPPENED AGAIN!*



Little Miss Scare-All said:


> [quote="Strange Religion":4583b]It's a vicious cycle and I always feel I can relate to LMSA when it comes to guys and dating because they're full of sh*t. Though, after dating a guy for a week, it's probably too soon to expect a relationship, then again, it seems like these guys don't want relationships anyway.
> 
> Another major problem is because we have SA, we don't get out in social situations where we would meet people in real life. Our main way of meeting guys is on the internet and honestly most of these guys are just predators. Myspace is the perfect place for them to meet girls and then toss 'em to the side....on the other hand I tell myself that even if I met guys from real life, I would probably just get the same results.
> 
> I think a break from dating would be a good idea. Just focus on yourself awhile.


*I don't see the purpose in taking a break...except the fact that it'll save me from more disappointment. But if I dated again after a few months, a year, whatever...it would just be the same thing over & over again anyway. So the only way to cure it would be a permanent break.*
This guy really seemed to want a relationship...He introduced me to all his friends as "his girl" and everything...told me he'd never felt more comfortable around anyone, etc... I don't get it at all. I did suspect something was wrong yesterday though. He once referred to me as a "friend"... and just seemed a little different. 
I didn't meet this guy on myspace though, I met him on facebook....basically the same thing though. And I actually had a good feeling about this guy at first. SO TO ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO EVER TOLD ME TO BE MORE OPTIMISTIC...I dare you to ever say it again. It does NOT work. Pessimism is the only way to go. [/quote:4583b]

Maybe it would be the same, maybe not. I'm jaded when it comes to dating too so I'm leaving it alone for now. Whenever I'm ready to date again, hopefully I'll have a fresh perspective on it and I'm going to really take my time. I can think of some things I could've done differently in the past, a pattern I've had that needs to change. I take some of the blame. Yeah, the guys were jerkoffs, but my point is, there's always room for improving ourselves and the way we go about things.



> Thanks. I always do dress nice... I never dress ****ty or anything like that. I usually wear jeans and a metal band t-shirt or something when I go out.


I don't see anything wrong with that. I wear jeans and a nice top.
Sexy, yet casual style.


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