# If no one ever complimented you, how would you feel about yourself?



## LolaViola (Jun 23, 2013)

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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

It depends. If you were never complimented, but you never overheard anyone else being complimented either, it'd be one thing. If you were never complimented BUT were insulted or even just overheard others being complimented, it'd be another thing entirely.

Until relatively recently, the latter was my experience. It makes you feel invisible at best, but more often you just feel like ****. I do think you need positive affirmation from others in order to develop any kind of sense of self-worth. If you've grown up in a critical family, I think it's particularly hard.


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

Personally I think it's impossible to have any self esteem at all if you never had any validation from anyone, so I think it would suck, and it would be virtually impossible to gain any confidence.


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## Lids (Aug 19, 2013)

I've never really thought about it before. I've gotten compliments my entire life; for my looks (don't care, didn't work for it), my writing skils (do like, i work hard), my intelligence, my kindness, and even my art (which I think is subpar and don't particularly enjoy making). I think I wouldn't have much self-esteem if I never recieved any validation from anyone. I don't like compliments much now, but if I didn't get them at all I would have no idea how people saw me so I could balance it against my own self-loathing.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

I would not have much desire to reason to live.


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## moloko (May 1, 2013)

Excluding family, that has been my case for a very long time. I can tell you about my experience. I think you grow with it, get used to it and learn to rely on your opinion of yourself. That's not always good, since it can get distorted (for better or worse) as you don't get input from others. But it's not awful if you manage to be honest with yourself and your opinions of yourself, as much as you can in this situation of course, which is not much. This way you can rely on yourself, not the opinion of others.

Of course this is not the optimal solution. It's always better to get compliments from other people, always, but you can get by. And by "get by" I mean not feeling like ****, not having a great self-esteem. That always come with the acknowledgement of others, in my opinion.

However if you get insulted and demeaned by others, that's different and I guess that may impact your self-esteem a lot.


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## Yer Blues (Jul 31, 2013)

The joint specialist told me I have nice ligaments.


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## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

When you've reached that point where you KNOW you're so good at something... others' praise doesn't mean s***.

I have a tendency to assume many are hypocrites, so I never take their comments too seriously. I have a suspicious nature.


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

The same as when I am complimented.


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## Mister Spirit (Mar 28, 2013)

I have never been sincerely complimented by anyone in my entire life. I've been honestly criticized multiple times, but never honestly complimented. It has always been those "I'm only saying this to make you feel better" kind of compliments. It honestly does make me feel like **** and is one of the reasons why I feel so worthless in this world. It doesn't matter how many compliments I give to myself when nothing I do or say warrants any kind of sincere acknowledgment from others. It's just one of those things I still can't get over.


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## prettyful (Mar 14, 2013)

I don't think it's possible for someone to have never gotten praise or a compliment in their life even if it was small.


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## jlscho03 (Sep 5, 2012)

I rarely get complimented. I did today, though, and it really stuck out, because it is so rare.

I don't know. I guess I would get depressed if I NEVER got complimented (and have when I haven't received anything in two months or so). But in past experience, I tend to hit rock bottom and 'fish' for a compliment if it's been a long time. (Hangs head in shame) I'm not talking big things like "You're pretty," or, "OMG!!!1! you're soooo amazing!"
but rather "Good job," or "You are doing well," etc. It doesn't take much to satisfy me. And yes, I will take praise as a compliment 

MisterSpirit, I'm sure you've been complimented (you're a lot more creative in choosing a username than I am). <-- Compliment 1.

If not and you need some real life compliments, you might just have to go get a fishing rod and do some fishing, because I do think that compliments help with a lot. It boosts your confidence and makes you feel good.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Yer Blues said:


> The joint specialist told me I have nice ligaments.


I notice I feel flattered even when at the dentist's office they tell me, "You brushed your teeth pretty well!" or "You're so quiet and patient waiting for the doctor to arrive!"

No lie. ;_;


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## Yer Blues (Jul 31, 2013)

tehuti88 said:


> I notice I feel flattered even when at the dentist's office they tell me, "You brushed your teeth pretty well!" or "You're so quiet and patient waiting for the doctor to arrive!"
> 
> No lie. ;_;


Well, going to the dentist deserves some type of reward. 

Another good place is the veterinarian's office. They give me all kinds of treats for being a good guy. I've learned to roll over.


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## Deion (Jul 26, 2013)

I don't get complimented and i'm doing alright i guess.


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## x Faceless x (Mar 13, 2011)

I never get complimented. Definitely don't have good self esteem, but I doubt compliments would have changed that.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

I never been complimented for my looks so I feel like I'm ugly as sin.

I have been complimented for other things here and there which I admit does make me feel good since they're so few and far between.


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## firestar (Jun 27, 2009)

I get compliments only rarely and yes, it's tough. Even when I am complimented, I tend not to believe it and sometimes even disagree with the person.


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## newusernamethatdoesntexi (Jun 15, 2013)

tehuti88 said:


> I notice I feel flattered even when at the dentist's office they tell me, "You brushed your teeth pretty well!" or "You're so quiet and patient waiting for the doctor to arrive!"
> 
> No lie. ;_;


I'm the same way! When I got my wisdom teeth removed, he said I was his favorite type of patient, I'm assuming for the same reasons you said.



firestar said:


> I get compliments only rarely and yes, it's tough. Even when I am complimented, I tend not to believe it and sometimes even disagree with the person.


I can so relate. Anyone who compliments me I either think is a) being nice, b) wants something from me, or c) only wants themselves to feel good about giving other people compliments.


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## turtle boogie (Jul 16, 2013)

I feel however I feel. Compliments are kind of like a bonus when they're genuine or an alarm when they're fake, like "this person wants something, watch out. Try and find out what it is."


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

What is this "compliment" that you speak of?


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## misspeachy (Aug 11, 2011)

It's not really like I hear compliments all the time anyway. I don't really care I'm not really reliant on other people's opinions of me.


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## Grog (Sep 13, 2013)

Like I feel now it doesn't happen


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## Kakumbus (Mar 27, 2012)

No different at all, I don't need anyone to compliment man, I know my worth.


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## TryingMara (Mar 25, 2012)

I'd feel terrible most likely, or I'd be constantly doubting everything about myself. I usually do feel bad, because I don't receive that many compliments other than those from my mom, while those around me seem to always gush over eachother. We shouldn't be completely reliant on others' opinions, but let's face it- that IS how we build up our self- esteem. When you're validated by many others, you feel better about yourself. You start to feel more secure and it builds up your confidence.


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