# For people who used to be a Christian and are now Atheists



## jdrubnitz

This question is for people who used to be *passionately believing* Christians, with relationships with other Christians, who left their faith later into their life (around their teens).

What has been the most difficult part about coping with social anxiety since your beliefs changed? IE (you used to pray for comfort, and now it does not comfort you, etc.)


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## gopherinferno

Praying only ever gave me a bitter/sour grapes type of superiority complex.


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## Imbored21

The most difficult part was I lost a lot of my social support. Church people are soo nice and inviting.


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## visualkeirockstar

I never prayed for my social anxiety because I didn't know it at the time I was still going to church. I never really believed anything at church anyways. Me and my cousin would always snuck out anyway. So there's not much of a difference.


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## reaffected

I miss _*nothing from it.*_ I even used to hold a bible study for people my age, that's how into it I was. I don't miss the people or the fake support or the hypocrisy or the crap in the bible.


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## forgetmylife

i don't recall religion ever helping with my sa...

if anything, i'd imagine utilizing something like religion to treat a problem that actually exists in the real world to be quite hindering


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## Cyclonic

It used to be a comfort, I always felt that my struggles were worth it because I could look forward to an eternity in heaven. Losing faith made me realize that I have to make the best of my life right now, I have one shot and I can't just sit around waiting for the afterlife.


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## Barentin

I attended a church once and it was funny


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## cambryan

Well, I guess I miss the social circle and some of the attention I used to get as a preacher. Also, the relief I got each time I remembered I had a sky daddy who loved me. But I was always puzzled about why he never did anything I prayed for.

Actually, I think religion played a huge role in my SA. It made me a recluse. It grotesquely contorted my psyche. I became somewhat of an ascetic. I wasn't like that initially.


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## Meissa

My SA got worse leading up to my change in belief, but got better a couple years after leaving the faith. Still not sure if there was any connection between the two.

I will say I always dreaded going to things like youth group. I believed and believed passionately, but my beliefs were always a little different than everyone else's in the group. I always felt isolated and like an outsider. Honestly, it was a relief to stop going, now that I've fully embraced my outsider-ness.

And, I think losing religion helped me stop worrying about what people think and just let go of things. It's kind of complicated to explain how I came to that conclusion, but it makes sense in my head.


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## jdrubnitz

Thanks for the responses, yall. Interesting. So it looks like it didn't affect things much, other than the lost sense of community support. 

Meissa, I can relate to what you're saying. I was the same exact way, and leaving my faith helped me do the same thing.


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## illadelphroots

I just accepted my views as they were; _natural_. I don't know where exactly, they came from, but I just thought that if they were natural, then they came from me criticising religion for my own reasons, and that there was no need to worry as I had just discovered a part of myself.

As for coming out to my parents as an atheist, that didn't go so well. Being from a lebanese family, they were are religious Christians. They said I couldn't ever be a good person anymore, and that I will regret it. Yada yada yada, all the typical stuff they say. Now, they've gotten over it for the most part.

The best way to cope with the worry you get from yourself, is to see it as natural and embrace it.

As for coping with worry from external influences, it is difficult. I actually had it very easy, I think. I say it's best to keep it to yourself. I wish I could go back in time and not say anything, for the simple reason that no one needs to know or be concerned about your beliefs. If they did, you wouldn't have to worry about how they thought of you and your beliefs.

Just try to love your beliefs and find a good support system, like a close relative or friend. My brother and one of my friends are Atheists and comforted me when I was struggling after I told my family. If you have no one, feel free to talk to me or other people on the forums to relate to and comfort you.


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## meijipandabiscuits

I don't miss Christianity at all. Which is funny because in high school I used to be so into it, pray everyday, read the Bible everyday, try to convert my non-Christian friends to Christianity (cringe). Now I just feel happy that I'm not obliged to do those things anymore, because no matter how much past "religious me" tried to brainwash myself into thinking that praying or Bible-reading was a joy, it felt like such a chore. And I think Christianity hasn't affected my SA much, only now I don't need to rely on an imaginary guy in the sky to solve my problems.


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## justgrace41

I agree with a lot of yall about the community.. There aren't a lot of types of social circles really equivalent to being part of a church, but now I don't really feel comfortable being in groups with religious people considering I would have to fake it and that feels wrong.


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## catwizard

from what i've noticed, becoming an atheist/agnostic has actually helped and improved my condition. as a christian, i prayed for help and got no answers. i got worse and worse with depression, pushed everyone further away. i couldn't turn to church people for help, as i was ashamed. i felt guilty for everything, because i knew i wasn't pleasing some god.

as i became agnostic/atheist in college, became interested in philosophy and such, i guess you could say it helped put my problems into perspective. if science and history are correct, then im just a small speck on this planet and even smaller in the universe. My existence is barely a blip in time. Is it really such a big deal that i said that one stupid thing last week? My problems aren't so bad, really. 

as far as philosophy goes, im the only thing i know for sure even exists, so i should focus more on making myself happy instead of hoping something or someone else will. i don't have to worry about pleasing some god. in a way, i'm like the god i have to please. i dont have to feel bad for self-help, and i know it's okay if i make mistakes.


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## AnonymousPersonG

To be honest I think getting social anxiety/depression made me not believe anymore, or made my belief a lot weaker.
This is an obnoxious question I know but if there's a god why doesn't he just cut to the chase and make everyone's lives perfect?!?!


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## ireallydontknow

I really don't miss it. I was so afraid to let my thoughts wonder about religion. Now I feel more free in a way. Though if anything it has hindered my confidence socializing a little since it's just one more secret to keep and most people get so angry when they find out.


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## its anobrain

Because I am still forced to attend family Christenings (I am 16, obviously they just think I'm too young to make my own decisions) I feel out of place and like everyone is staring at me when I don't pray with them or sing their hymns, same goes for weddings.


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## AnxiousInFL

*Self-Deception?*

You guys really think your involvement with church/religion does not affect your social anxiety?? I am surprised by the responses here. Churches are simply a gathering of like-minded people (ie socializing). If I could live with myself being liar about my beliefs there is no doubt within a heartbeat I would be going to as many churches / Bible studies / community groups etc. They are mostly nice, fun people.


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## wrongnumber

As a child I actually had OCD involving God (won't go into it, too weird and complicated). Basically, I think I've always had a pathological relationship with God even when I did believe. And soon after that I had 4 years of doubt before becoming an atheist at 16. 

Anyway, now, I have mostly positive but slightly mixed feelings when it comes to how this has impacted my mental health. Since believing in God was always tied to pathology and anxiety for me, I don't miss that and I feel I'm better off. I do however, envy strong believers sometimes, since they seem to derive comfort from their belief. I'd like some comfort too. But believing in God feels like believing in the tooth fairy or Santa Claus now. It makes no sense and I'm mystified at how I was able to entertain such things.


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## ugh1979

wrongnumber said:


> As a child I actually had OCD involving God (won't go into it, too weird and complicated). Basically, I think I've always had a pathological relationship with God even when I did believe. And soon after that I had 4 years of doubt before becoming an atheist at 16.
> 
> Anyway, now, I have mostly positive but slightly mixed feelings when it comes to how this has impacted my mental health. Since believing in God was always tied to pathology and anxiety for me, I don't miss that and I feel I'm better off. I do however, envy strong believers sometimes, since they seem to derive comfort from their belief. I'd like some comfort too. But believing in God feels like believing in the tooth fairy or Santa Clause now. It makes no sense and I'm mystified at how I was able to entertain such things.


An analogous feeling of validity can be achieved from a rational scientific intellectually honest based position. I'm entirely comfortable with my place in the universe, and I have the humility to happily accept it. It's a position that is also far less likely to induce cognitive dissonance in well informed people.


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## Ntln

It hasn't made me feel worse _per se_. It's just it's hard not to fall into the pitfall of replacing my christian religion with something else. Essentially what I mean is, when you're raised to believe that there is some form of higher power guiding everything, looking after you, it's hard to let that go. I often find myself thinking in terms of spirits or destiny and such, even though rationally I know such things aren't real. So basically I need to stay on my toes in terms of not soaking up any "spiritual" bulls*** and not starting to believe that crap.


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## WillYouStopDave

I was kind of back and forth on it as a young child (mainly because I thought if so many adults thought it was true it must be). But I was never really passionate about it. Church was never the kind of thing I would do every week on my own. I went with my parents because I had to until they stopped going.


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## photorealisticotakuman

I prayed for my anxiety ( even a girlfriend lol) and I felt betrayed by all my religious teachings because I saw no difference even after putting effort. After closing down my beliefs, I worked even harder till I improved my life day by day. Now I know it takes action to see result. I have improved. Although I sometimes I do christian things with my family, I feel alone somehow. I can't believe that I got a girlfriend only after closing my beliefs. I feel alone because her family and mine are very christian and I am an agnostic. I feel strong, yet alone. I used to belief I was not alone in my challenges. But now i realize I have always been alone unknowingly.


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## SickAndTiredofSA

Meissa said:


> My SA got worse leading up to my change in belief, but got better a couple years after leaving the faith. Still not sure if there was any connection between the two.
> 
> I will say I always dreaded going to things like youth group. I believed and believed passionately, but my beliefs were always a little different than everyone else's in the group. I always felt isolated and like an outsider. Honestly, it was a relief to stop going, now that I've fully embraced my outsider-ness.
> 
> And, I think losing religion helped me stop worrying about what people think and just let go of things. It's kind of complicated to explain how I came to that conclusion, but it makes sense in my head.


i understand! i stopped going to church when i was 17 or 18 and it was a relief


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## Strategist

Meditation is so much more helpful than prayer. 

Also, the girls I went to church with were significantly snobbier than the other girls I knew. So no loss of community for me.


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## TryingMara

I'm not sure that I ever derived comfort from my faith in regards to social anxiety. Honestly, I became quite frustrated because it was clear that prayer did absolutely nothing in helping my anxiety. I wasn't looking for a miracle cure, but I was always humiliated when communicating with others. It was one social fail after another no matter how hard I tried, the effort I put in, and no matter how much trust and faith I put in god. 

I was deluded into believing that I had a real relationship with Jesus, though. I felt comfort in believing that there was someone, at least one person, out there who knew me, understood why I acted the way I did and who loved me unconditionally. It was difficult to deal with that loss. Now I focus on the unconditional love of my mother. She's an amazing person that I am extremely fortunate to have in my life. Although she may not entirely understand my anxiety, she is always there for me. 

Now when it comes to dealing with social anxiety as an atheist, I feel relieved in a way. Religion compounded my frustration and struggle. Now I can focus more on tackling issues and taking more control of my life, instead of thinking that everything that happens is due to or "allowed" by a deity.


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## ugh1979

TryingMara said:


> I'm not sure that I ever derived comfort from my faith in regards to social anxiety. Honestly, I became quite frustrated because it was clear that prayer did absolutely nothing in helping my anxiety. I wasn't looking for a miracle cure, but I was always humiliated when communicating with others. It was one social fail after another no matter how hard I tried, the effort I put in, and no matter how much trust and faith I put in god.
> 
> I was deluded into believing that I had a real relationship with Jesus, though. I felt comfort in believing that there was someone, at least one person, out there who knew me, understood why I acted the way I did and who loved me unconditionally. It was difficult to deal with that loss. Now I focus on the unconditional love of my mother. She's an amazing person that I am extremely fortunate to have in my life. Although she may not entirely understand my anxiety, she is always there for me.
> 
> Now when it comes to dealing with social anxiety as an atheist, I feel relieved in a way. Religion compounded my frustration and struggle. Now I can focus more on tackling issues and taking more control of my life, instead of thinking that everything that happens is due to or "allowed" by a deity.


Good for you.  It's so much better to focus your attention and love on actual people rather than imaginary friends.

Ridding yourself of religion means you now free to do what _you _think is right, rather than having to conform to some largely outdated and now often immoral "divine moral" code.


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## kaspenpiedad

I used to be a Christian with many friends that worshiped the same thing. I think around my later teens, when I hit a rough spot in my life, I realized that it praying doesn't do anything for me. It was me that pulled myself through.


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## Maiq

I used to believe that god would make everything right in the end as long as i kept my faith and just stayed as a good little christian boy. It wasn't just the fact that things were going bad in my life that I lost my faith. It was because things were going bad in the whole world and there were so many people that I'm sure felt worse than I did. I don't see how a loving god would allow people to feel so ******* that they kill themselves only to send them straight to hell. I eventually just started to feel like god doesn't care about any of us, which wasn't the god I was raised to believe in. So there was no point in believing in god anymore since I pretty much had just made up a new god to replace the other god I thought was real. 

In the end I stopped believing things would just get better and I made things better. I still had others to help me but I did most of the work and thats how it should be. The only person that can make things better for yourself is you and the only people that can help are those around you. 

Oddly enough my brother became a more devout catholic around the same time that i became an atheist. I told him all this too and he basically told me maybe god just wanted you to realize that on your own. Well i mean that's really just how things are and I'm not going back since I realized don't need a god to be happy or to be even a good person. That's just what I am now.


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## Sdistant

I went to church as a child. Not out of choice but because my mum made me. I hated it. People there were rude and the children bullied me. Glad I don't believe in any religion now.


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## Hero

If anything it just showed me what I thought I had was an illusion just like god. 

You thought u had friend and a real sense of community... its mostly just ppl who are nice to u because they have to be nice there . Some of u may understand when I say church friends are like classmates. U probably never be in the same room by choice in any other real life situation and yet here u are every week. So u make some polite conversation and even help each other out when convenient but... no one calls to see if ur ok. No one invites u places. to their birthday party or anything. 

I am sure there are some exceptions. Maybe u did make a good friend. Good luck keeping em when ur new realizations conflict with what they deeply believe . 

Sorry to sound so ... negative but if u can see this harsh truth life tends to get better from there on. The things we believe we can only get from church or is special because its church... isnt that case at all. Sooner u realize that u can start living ur life.


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## TryingMara

ugh1979 said:


> Good for you.  It's so much better to focus your attention and love on actual people rather than imaginary friends.
> 
> Ridding yourself of religion means you now free to do what _you _think is right, rather than having to conform to some largely outdated and now often immoral "divine moral" code.


Thanks ugh . When my faith fell apart, it was one of the most difficult times I've been through, which probably sounds silly to some. However, when you're raised to believe it should be the most important aspect of your life, it can have such a hold on you and really does pervade every part of your life. My deconversion, or whatever you want to call it, was terrible, but now living without that burden truly is freeing.


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## thebigofan

The only part for me that changed is that I know now that I can't rely on someone else to solve all my problems.


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## icewater

After I stopped being a Jehovah Witness and became an Atheist it has been rough dealing with family and witnesses I run into. My whole family, and everybody I knew was a Witness. They always jab me with things like "Why don't you come back to the meetings?", or "We miss you." 

I later realized that a lot of those people I knew, and the semi-friends I had were mostly based on what I believed, rather than them just liking me. Leaving religion opened my mind to other ideas, and has made me a much more tolerant and open minded individual. I no longer fear not making it to some paradise, or always pleasing others. Religions just seem like strange social clubs to me now.


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## Wooddan

I used to pray every night and before every meal. However, I found that deep down, I didn't really believe, but rather, I was just obsessively showing signs of belief because I was paranoid that if God was real then he would punish me for not acting faithful. Eventually, I realized that just going through the motions of faith wouldn't fool him if really existed, and so when given the choice to Confirm myself, I declined. Honestly, I don't think that this change has affected me negatively in any social way. I didn't really get along with the other kids at church, and the prospect of seeing them each week actually contributed to my anxiety.


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## gopherinferno

icewater said:


> After I stopped being a Jehovah Witness and became an Atheist it has been rough dealing with family and witnesses I run into. My whole family, and everybody I knew was a Witness. They always jab me with things like "Why don't you come back to the meetings?", or "We miss you."
> 
> I later realized that a lot of those people I knew, and the semi-friends I had were mostly based on what I believed, rather than them just liking me. Leaving religion opened my mind to other ideas, and has made me a much more tolerant and open minded individual. I no longer fear not making it to some paradise, or always pleasing others. Religions just seem like strange social clubs to me now.


It's a really funky feeling. It's hard to believe that used to be what my life revolved around. I feel like I escaped something but there's no point in trying to tell people who are still trapped because they can't or don't want to believe it. Plus, you know, a lot of people are in in much much deeper than I was.


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## Shadowsoftheworld

I used to be moderately religious. Meaning, I believed in God, but didn't attend church or any other religious events or meetings. Often I used to get depressed, or something would happen to me or my family, and so I'd pray. I used to beg him to help, but he never did. I went through a love hate relationship, where when bad things happened, I'd basically swear at him and be like "You aren't real". I then started watching debates, and at first I supported the religious argument, but the more I listed the more I started thinking "hmm the scientist have point" and that combined with my prayers never being answered turned me into an atheist. I'm not a more devoted atheist than I was christian.

To the question, "What has been the most difficult part about coping with social anxiety since your beliefs changed? " simply, it hasn't been difficult at all. It's bees the complete opposite. I now realise the only person that's going to be here for me forever is myself. When I feel lost, I now realise that the on;y way I can find my way is the be there for myself. I am now a much more positive person as well. Overall, religion was a bad experience for me.


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## Shadowsoftheworld

Shadowsoftheworld said:


> I used to be moderately religious. Meaning, I believed in God, but didn't attend church or any other religious events or meetings. Often I used to get depressed, or something would happen to me or my family, and so I'd pray. I used to beg him to help, but he never did. I went through a love hate relationship, where when bad things happened, I'd basically swear at him and be like "You aren't real". I then started watching debates, and at first I supported the religious argument, but the more I listed the more I started thinking "hmm the scientist have point" and that combined with my prayers never being answered turned me into an atheist. I'm not a more devoted atheist than I was christian.
> 
> To the question, "What has been the most difficult part about coping with social anxiety since your beliefs changed? " simply, it hasn't been difficult at all. It's bees the complete opposite. I now realise the only person that's going to be here for me forever is myself. When I feel lost, I now realise that the on;y way I can find my way is the be there for myself. I am now a much more positive person as well. Overall, religion was a bad experience for me.


I meant to say I'm now* a more devoted atheist than I was christian.


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## mattmc

I lost a support group of people I loved.


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## Caffeine Anonymous

I became an agnostic right before I got schizo at age 18. I was reading science books and saw ideas in them that were more convincing than christianity and I lost faith immediately. My anxiety got worse because of the sz but at the same time, I felt enlightened knowing that christianity is bull. It was weird. I guess losing faith made me more confident even though I was having more anxiety.


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## Jay Autumn

I'm not sure if I'd be aloud to join this conversation (I don't call myself an Atheist. But LaVeyan Satanism is practically Atheism. We don't believe in "divine" beings, or Satan if "he" wouldn't be called a "divine being".) I don't know if it helped me. I don't even think I noticed that I was scared of people when I went to church. I think one of the reasons I don't believe it today is because I eventually started to notice that "he" wasn't helping me at all with anything. Or my mom. Or anyone. I actually pray still though, but not to a deity or whatever. I don't even think it would/should be considered praying. I like to think of it as talking. I talk to the trees sometimes, they always seem to know what's goin' on.


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## Foh_Teej

Jay Autumn said:


> I'm not sure if I'd be aloud to join this conversation (I don't call myself an Atheist. But LaVeyan Satanism is practically Atheism. We don't believe in "divine" beings, or Satan if "he" wouldn't be called a "divine being".) I don't know if it helped me..


Theism has a precise definition. The only criterion for atheism is to not be that. It completely void of any meaning outside of being exactly not theism. So, yes, if you do not believe in a god or gods, you are indeed an atheist.


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## ugh1979

Jay Autumn said:


> But LaVeyan Satanism is practically Atheism. We don't believe in "divine" beings, or Satan if "he" wouldn't be called a "divine being".)


No it's not, just as Buddhism isn't practically atheism. Atheism _only _infers non-belief in a deity/deities. That's not all LaVeyan Satanism/Buddhism is.


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## Jay Autumn

LaVeyan Satanism is a religion of philosophy. I myself don't entirely agree with all of it, but a good portion I do. Generally LaVeyan Satanists see themselves as their own "god". You're (mostly) able to control your life and what you do/accomplish in it. With Atheism you choose 100% what your morals and whatnot are. Satanists can also choose what they think is moral to them. You have the right to free-thinking either way and you don't praise a god (I know I said they/we view ourselves as our own, but only in the sense that I as a being can control what I do and believe, just as a god can generally do. I don't see myself as a more important being than anyone else, or that I need to be praised.) , the main difference I see is the title. I never meant to "preach" about all of this stuff, I apologize in advance if I did or seemed to do that. I know that Atheism and Satanism aren't the same. But Satanism's "foundation" is Atheism. They are similar though.


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## ugh1979

Jay Autumn said:


> LaVeyan Satanism is a religion of philosophy. I myself don't entirely agree with all of it, but a good portion I do. Generally LaVeyan Satanists see themselves as their own "god". You're (mostly) able to control your life and what you do/accomplish in it. With Atheism you choose 100% what your morals and whatnot are. Satanists can also choose what they think is moral to them. You have the right to free-thinking either way and you don't praise a god (I know I said they/we view ourselves as our own, but only in the sense that I as a being can control what I do and believe, just as a god can generally do. I don't see myself as a more important being than anyone else, or that I need to be praised.) , the main difference I see is the title. I never meant to "preach" about all of this stuff, I apologize in advance if I did or seemed to do that. I know that Atheism and Satanism aren't the same. But Satanism's "foundation" is Atheism. They are similar though.


Atheism has nothing to do with choosing your own morality. It infers nothing other than disbelief in a deity/deities. Anything else an atheist believes in is inconsequential to their atheism. It's not an ideology/philosophy, just as believing cats can't fly isn't an ideology/philosophy.

I understand what you are saying about some things LaVeyan Satanists believe are often also believed by people who are atheists/agnostics, but as I say, they are inconsequential to that as they don't provide any ideological framework.


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## Blue2015

I'd class myself as an agnostic at the moment because I do not know enough about atheistic beliefs such as evolution to say I definitely believe in them. But even if the God of the bible is real, from what I know about his character I no longer want to follow him. 
I did used to passionately believe in the Christian faith to the extent that I would cry over sins while praying for forgiveness I could not stop doing. Such as; sexual thoughts (lust), anger, jealousy,and pray for him to relieve me of my SA and depression. I would sincerely beg the Godhead to help me overcome them but I guess it didn't work. The bible says Jesus will take our burdens and sins upon himself but when I was a Christian it was the opposite effect. I continually had the guilt of Jesus' death and natural or learned behaviours on my shoulders and it mentally did more bad than good. Also I would overlook many issues and contradictions in the bible, which if you look at with reason as your guide, do not make any logical sense. In a nutshell what turned me away from Christianity is simply; no matter how much a dying cancer patient, someone who cannot help lusting after the same sex or a person tries to rid themselves of human behaviours known as sins in the bible, cry's out to God for help with these issues, it does not come. Sadly people who continue to tell themselves the lie that a loving God does come to our aid, I believe, are just trying to escape from the realities of life. Which is like putting small plasters over a gaping cut that needs stitches.


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## Foh_Teej

Blue2015 said:


> I'd class myself as an agnostic at the moment because I do not know enough about atheistic beliefs such as evolution to say I definitely believe in them. But even if the God of the bible is real, from what I know about his character I no longer want to follow him.


Atheism has no beliefs, principles, ideologies, or worldview. Theism is the belief in a god or gods. Atheism works exactly like every other word with an a- prefix. It simply means _not theism_. It's identical to being a non-golfer or non-smoker in respect to meaning. A-, non-, and dis- prefixes function the exact same way to indicate no, not, a lack or a negation of the root. That's it; nothing else. Evolution has nothing to do with atheism. Agnosticism is not a doxastic position but an epistemological one. They are different concepts. Theism is a binary proposition. You either believe a god or you do not. There is no middle ground nor is agnosticism a neutral alternative between theism and atheism.


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## Blue2015

Foh_Teej said:


> Atheism has no beliefs, principles, ideologies, or worldview. Theism is the belief in a god or gods. Atheism works exactly like every other word with an a- prefix. It simply means _not theism_. It's identical to being a non-golfer or non-smoker in respect to meaning. A-, non-, and dis- prefixes function the exact same way to indicate no, not, a lack or a negation of the root. That's it; nothing else. Evolution has nothing to do with atheism. Agnosticism is not a doxastic position but an epistemological one. They are different concepts. Theism is a binary proposition. You either believe a god or you do not. There is no middle ground nor is agnosticism a neutral alternative between theism and atheism.


Oh okay thanks for the info :smile2:
But, for instance, if you are atheist then you are certain and say there is no God. If you are agnostic, you say, you are not sure whether there is a deity/some form of a supernatural being who created everything.


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## Foh_Teej

Blue2015 said:


> Oh okay thanks for the info :smile2:
> But, for instance, if you are atheist then you are certain and say there is no God. If you are agnostic, you say, you are not sure whether there is a deity/some form of a supernatural being who created everything.


Atheism isn't a position of certainty. It's simply a word used to describe not being the root word. As I already explained, (a)gnoticism describes an entirely different concept and therefor not an alternative to theism or atheism. However, they aren't mutually exclusive, either.


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## Diáfanos

catwizard said:


> from what i've noticed, becoming an atheist/agnostic has actually helped and improved my condition. as a christian, i prayed for help and got no answers. i got worse and worse with depression, pushed everyone further away. i couldn't turn to church people for help, as i was ashamed. i felt guilty for everything, because i knew i wasn't pleasing some god.
> 
> as i became agnostic/atheist in college, became interested in philosophy and such, i guess you could say it helped put my problems into perspective. if science and history are correct, then im just a small speck on this planet and even smaller in the universe. My existence is barely a blip in time. Is it really such a big deal that i said that one stupid thing last week? My problems aren't so bad, really.
> 
> as far as philosophy goes, im the only thing i know for sure even exists, so i should focus more on making myself happy instead of hoping something or someone else will. i don't have to worry about pleasing some god. in a way, i'm like the god i have to please. i dont have to feel bad for self-help, and i know it's okay if i make mistakes.


I relate to this. I wrote this somewhere on the web in regards to the _self_. Although, how did you finally come to a final episode of disillusionment when it comes to Christianity and disproved the belief of an external God? I am still starting on my journey to convince myself that an external God does not exist and Jesus was merely a historical figure than anything else.

Christianity is childhood indoctrinated from my position. I only could believe when I integrated my feelings within my being as a concept of Jesus' love that greatly touches the mass of sinners. I am naturally detached from my feelings.

I guess you could say that I'm both a Christian but a great skeptic as well. But I would rather, if people get to know me to label me as someone who is not a representative of the Christian faith as I am showing uncertainty and I find a lot of paradoxes in me as well. In terms of relativity, I am somewhat in the middle but from some peeking through the Christian lens, they quickly come to the assumptions that either: I am a Devil's advocate, a wolf in sheep skin or an Atheist trying to destroy their beliefs which are pretty much the same thing in their eyes. When my main motive is simply, of understanding. If I can explain my paradigm in terms of typology I am able to explain this better. It leads towards divergence in comparison to convergence of truth. Which the majority of the people hold.


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## Estillum

I had a total event horizon when It finally hit me that there was going to be no afterlife, It triggered an absolutely massive panic attack/existential crisis that left me practically comatose for the better half of a year.

Other then that that there isn't much I miss. Most people I went to for help where more judgmental than helpful, and my choices in music/clothing/entertainment was constantly under attack. Though I do miss the weird Inexplicable atmosphere that only seems to exist in churches; The old and young, friends and enemies, even people who are generally aggressive and rowdy outside of church, all sitting quietly and chanting and singing in unison to a statue of a man hanging from a cross. Sort of creepy in a way, but a peaceful bastion from the tribulations and unfairness of life, a sort of common ground, is something I miss very much.


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## CheezusCrust

I think prayer affected me more with generalized anxiety than social anxiety, but regardless, I actually felt better once I stopped praying, which came as a surprise to me. I was obsessive about it, and I felt a sense of relief when I didn't think it was necessary to pray for so many different things anymore.


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## 3Haney

*Pray for me*

I actually tried my hardest to become religious because I envied it. No matter how hard I tried I just could not make myself believe that there is a higher power. It just doesn't make any sense to me, it all just seems like one big fairy tale, the greatest lie ever told.


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## Lao

When I was a christian I never prayed anyway, I was a very simple person. I never wanted anything. I remember being forced to pray for something. I was like,,, erm..... well.... I want the sims 2. Oh why didnt i pray for world peace or something... Now you think of something :lol 

I never read my bible, I tried. believe me I've tried many times it just gets boring after God makes the world and Adam eats the apple, its just a long list of who was born and how long they lived and who they married. BORING!!!

So no longer believing in God just meant I no longer have to worry about Hell 0 I never thought my SA was a problem before, doesn't God love the meek????


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## KelsKels

I grew up in a hardcore Christian household.. wasn't allowed to be subjected to pretty much anything "secular" growing up. I use to pray all the time and believed that it was actually doing something.. but I don't think that was the hardest thing to get over. For me, knowing that we don't all meet up and live forever after we die is the hardest part to becoming an athiest. When you believe for the longest time that you never truly lose anyone.. and then realize that this time is all we have.. that is the hardest thing for me to cope with. Everything is much more final and every second feels important now. It gives me anxiety a little, knowing that my life actually will end.. but I'd rather feel the truth than a foolish lie.

I haven't read all the replies on this thread.. I'm sure others have stated what I already said much better than I did.. but whatever.


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## Noca

I was raised in an extemely fundamentalist Christian family. Christianity was not only boring but it was a source of great anxiety and depression. OCD and religion do not mix well, if anyone has OCD they will know what I mean. Constant obsession with whether or not I would go to Heaven or whether or not I was saved or said whatver prayer right tormented my mind as it required a higher level of certainty than most people need.

The thought of having to exist for eternity was Hell regardless of being in Heaven or Hell. Heaven in my mind was just a delayed Hell. Regardless if a cheesecake is your favorite food, if you ate it a bagillion times, it would be torture to have to eat it. To have to do everything infinite times would be Hell not to mention having to kiss some Gods *** forever.

If you ask a 100 year old man if he wants to live another 100 years he will say hell no. That isn't even a blink of an eye to what Christianity spoke of.

While my dislike of religion isn't justification to dismiss it, it was however a catalyst that made me question my beliefs and search for the truth.

Just as critical thinking had rid me of the irrational fears I had as a child when I thought a boogeyman lived under my bed, critical thinking freed me of the chains of religion and all of the irrational fears that came with it.

It feels much better knowing there is no man in the sky watching me and I don't go on existing forever when I die. The release of all the needless guilt, self-loathing and shame made life worth living.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RaeWolf

I became an agnostic atheist when I was 15, and I am now 19. My parents are very Christian and I still haven't told them I'm not religious anymore, although I think my mom is suspicious. I've had social anxiety for my whole life, but it got worse when I realized I could no longer be myself or be honest around my family members without facing judgment and ridicule.


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## Shockwave The Logical

In my experience, those idiots at the church offered to help my family and then turned their backs on us. Some old piece of **** asked for my number and I reluctantly gave it. He messaged me one morning to wake me up and go to church but that was when I as becoming agnostic (now atheist.) I couldn't make friends there, they stopped talking to me after we first met. Fine by me, I have better friends than those cocksuckers anyways. I felt I've improved by becoming atheist. I felt like a poser calling myself a Christian when I doubted so much of the BS they talk about. I don't believe in prayer and faith, it's up to humanity and yourself to make things happen. That was when I was 15, I'm 16 now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## meghankira

glad you started this thread.
i miss having that sense of identity, especially when i felt worthless, etc. i don't miss my church community because they were all so judgmental and rude and i have a lot of forgiving to do.


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## ugh1979

meghankira said:


> glad you started this thread.
> i miss having that sense of identity, especially when i felt worthless, etc.


Indeed having a sense of identity can be important, but there are of course many many secular groups you can feel that with.


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## Out of the Ashes

I still pray sometimes when I'm really desperate lol. I think of it like a relapse.

The hardest part is was getting over my phobia of hell. Some evil **** to plant in somebody's head right there.


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## spurs13

forgetmylife said:


> i don't recall religion ever helping with my sa...
> 
> if anything, i'd imagine utilizing something like religion to treat a problem that actually exists in the real world to be quite hindering


This is exactly how I feel. Praying to 'god' to help me through stuff only made me unsure whether it would actually happen, judging by past results. It also made me wonder whether I had done something wrong to deserve all that was happening to me... which is pretty much what my religion advocated.


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## Judy123

After I finished reading the bible at age 12. Plus watching lots of nature shows when I was a kid made me think god is the biggest cruelest serial killer mass murderer there ever was. It's horrible watching beautiful animals having to rip each other apart and cause pain to eat or assert dominance or defend themselves. That type of sick cruel joke by a god who could have easily made all animals vegan or whatever turned me away from god. Science is logical, rational, and uses evidence. If there really was a god why doesn't it care enough about me to give me proof and rationale that I can understand to explain its disgusting cruelty? Why be so mysterious when it supposedly knows I don't play games like that? Why make so many people jump through hoops? What kind of sadistic immature tactic is that? That's a belief I will leave to the gullible.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## regimes

gopherinferno said:


> Praying only ever gave me a bitter/sour grapes type of superiority complex.


this pretty much.


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## iAmCodeMonkey

*I will just leave this here...*


Feel free to draw your own conclusions.


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## longtimenolove

My passionate faith in god actually hampered my mental development. It made me feel as if I were just being persecuted by the devil for being a christian. It was kind of a nightmare. I pleaded with god every night not to send me to hell. Religion was a big factor in my SA as it didn't provide me any motivation to get better without interference from a god who never came. I was always taught that all my answers were in the bible and in prayer 

The only thing I miss about it at all was the constant sense of being able to "hope" things would get better. The fact that they didn't isn't really relevant, only the temporary sense of hope. That, and I felt like I could always talk to Jesus. But that was a pretty one-sided relationship with me always telling him how much I loved him. Man religion hurt me in so many ways, I can only barely imagine what it did to my psyche as a little kid...poor little kid.


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## longtimenolove

Estillum said:


> I had a total event horizon when It finally hit me that there was going to be no afterlife, It triggered an absolutely massive panic attack/existential crisis that left me practically comatose for the better half of a year.


That's pretty dramatic. I went through something similar though. There was just this lingering darkness that I couldn't get away from when I had to come to terms with no afterlife. Especially after my pets would die...it was horrid. Sometimes I even cried myself to sleep with my mind drifting to a more comfortable "spiritual" state where an afterlife of some sort exists. Of course I know that no such thing exists, but in a state of crisis it's either go comatose or grant your brain a temporary reprieve.

That helps me to better understand why religious people cling to their faith with every breath they have. Not everyone is strong enough to go through what we've gone through. As much as I would love for everyone to wake up from their fantasy--I'm not that confident in the human psyche--too many people would be crushed beyond repair.


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## SneekySnee

Barentin said:


> I attended a church once and it was funny


Haha me too. I've only gone to church once in my life (not including religion classes at school) and the priest read a bible verse about putting non believers to death. Its strange how they don't just get rid of the bible verses like that when i know they aren't actually going to do it anyway


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## SneekySnee

longtimenolove said:


> My passionate faith in god actually hampered my mental development. It made me feel as if I were just being persecuted by the devil for being a christian. It was kind of a nightmare. I pleaded with god every night not to send me to hell. Religion was a big factor in my SA as it didn't provide me any motivation to get better without interference from a god who never came. I was always taught that all my answers were in the bible and in prayer
> 
> The only thing I miss about it at all was the constant sense of being able to "hope" things would get better. The fact that they didn't isn't really relevant, only the temporary sense of hope. That, and I felt like I could always talk to Jesus. But that was a pretty one-sided relationship with me always telling him how much I loved him. Man religion hurt me in so many ways, I can only barely imagine what it did to my psyche as a little kid...poor little kid.


That must of been hard. Have you checked out this website
http://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/


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## TheGuardian

My parents used to say we are christians but now that i'm grown up i'm like people are who they want to be! Just because you are christian doesn't mean i have to be. I will say its hard living with someone whose very religious, its kind of annoying really.


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## the collector

All I can say is that I prayed and prayed and prayed as a christian, but nothing really changed for the better like I thought it should in the long haul. Since I left religion and belief in God, I've learned that it's all psychological and semantics.It doesn't matter what it is, if u keep telling yourself something, an idea, and keep believing it it will seem like everything around u is in harmony with that idea.\

I am not scared of anything, including death. Yes, i have anxiety issues, but fear and anxiety are not the same things.


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## dreamsaremybliss

Before college, I would claim I was a non-denominational Christian. I would pray, read the bible and look for motivation quotes within that religion. My grandma used to take me to a Presbyterian church for a few years before I encountered unsympathetic racism. Aside from that, I still practiced the religion and even found myself studying that of Jehovah Witness's (since my mom's friend who was very involved in my life introduced me to it), I would go to my friend's churches and found myself comfortable for the most part. I followed blindly because I found comfort and it was the social norm.

Moving on, in college I joined Campus Crusader's for Christ. Everyone was very warm and welcoming. They had events, bible study, worship and even conferences. I liked the idea of being involved for a better purpose, but the more involved I came the more I realized this wasn't for me. The more I learned what Christianity was about and was it believed it; I started to understand I didn't believe or value the same things. I decided maybe I just need to go to the conference to be reinforced about my religion, but it did the opposite. There were so many things that didn't make sense to me and I wasn't just going to believe in something because of 'faith'. Like I really loved having a community that were good people (that didn't believe in doing drugs, drinking, having sex all the time, etc...(my then disillusioned picture of what good meant)). I kind of felt like being Christian made me closed to other people, closed to understanding others and how the world is pretty messed up but closer to a particular community. I also couldn't believe that God would favor someone over someone else. Why were there people growing up spoiled, rich, beautiful, talented, and lucky and then you have innocent people, poor, sick, being slaughtered mercilessly and brutalized just because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time? Why were these genocides allowed to happen? Why is selfishness being rewarded and the ones who do good are usually ignored? Why are people innately cruel to others and then surprised when that victim takes a turn for the worst? How is one religion better than another? Why are we so divided by so many things, when we are all a part of the human race? 

I didn't realize I was atheist until someone pointed it out to me. I was in the car talking with my friend and he said, "yeah and that's why you're atheist and that's why I'm an atheist". I essentially told him everything I experienced and believed and then it all made sense when he said that to me. 

As much as I would love to be religious because it provides comfort, support, and motivation I just can't force myself to believe in any religion. So how do I cope? I don't really. I think I was better off with religion because now I can't even find any source of comfort, happiness, or motivation (not b/c of lack of religion but other events (but religion would have helped)). I just find comfort in the fact that when I die, I will just rot and decay. I won't have to worry about Heaven or Hell. I don't have to worry about being "good" and not being full of sin. Also why would God create humans to be full of sin and then blame us for his mistake? He just seemed like he did a lot of things, to make himself feel better...
But I don't have to give two ****s anymore. So that's nice.


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