# Learning to swim as an adult.



## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

I can't swim. I never learned as a kid. A mixture of social anxiety, fear of the water itself, crappy body image leaving me reluctant to be seen in a swimsuit and also just sheer aversion to exercise and physical activity. But mainly the SA and fear of water. I don't think I've been to a pool since I was twelve, and even then I'd do anything to avoid getting in the water. Like a cat in a bath.

I've been on boats since enough to know that the fear of water in general is still a big issue for me (any time I step on board, I accept death and start repenting for my atheism) but my specific fears have really disappeared now I'm an adult. I mean, when I was a kid most of my fear about being in water was really the fear of other kids pushing/holding me _under_ the water (I wish I could say this was unrealistic, but I had a pretty ****ty time with bullying). And as the only times I swam it was because school PE lessons forced me to, I was afraid of teachers forcing me to go out of my depth, losing control and feeling like I was drowning. It really terrified me. Just thinking about it now makes me feel pretty anxious, but it's a needless emotional reaction because those things are never going to happen.

I still have absolutely zero desire to go anywhere near water. I find no pleasure in it and actually find it actively horrible. The idea of being in the sea or in a pool has absolutely no associations of fun for me. If it was just a case of contentment, I could easily spend the rest of my life on dry land and die happily as an old woman never having swum a length. That's be dandy. But anytime I admit to somebody that I can't swim, they tell me that I really need to learn. I know they're right. I really don't want to, but I ought to.

I mean, it's not just the whole prevention-of-drowning thing or even just an embarrassment thing (because good lord is it embarrassing to be 20 and unable to swim five meters) but a health thing. I really, really want to get fit/active and start exercising and swimming seems like a good way to do that. I have ****ty joints among some other problems and any time I even go on a long walk I'm feeling it the next day, so exercise that's less weight-bearing might be better for me to start with.

But how the hell do you learn to swim as an adult? Do you teach yourself? How?


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## tronjheim (Oct 21, 2012)

There are swimming lessons here from where I'm from. This is for all ages, including adults. My mom even suggested last month that I take the lessons just so I'd have something to do. I already know how to swim so I refused. Any way, maybe you can check out your local pool and inquire if there are lessons. 

Don't worry, being in the water is fine. It's also fun! It's so much easier and better to face water than people (at least for me).

Dom


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## arkham (Apr 22, 2014)

I don't know how to swim too! I hope to learn to swim as soon as possible. Because it makes my life a disaster in summer. And I mean it. I avoided all the classmate and uni mates meetings held on summer, because I fear to tell people that I can't swim at this age.. I refused to go to parties, birthdays all kinds of stuff when I thought there was a slight possibility that everyone would go near water and swim and stuff. 
Now my social life is getting way better and I feel urgency to learn it no matter what. 
I think you should ask a person you trust to teach you to swim somewhere where there are no other people (less stress) and the water is not too deep.


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## loneliness (Oct 3, 2013)

I was like you for the longest time, until my friend pushed me into the deep end of a pool. I learned to swim faster than I've ever learned anything before.


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## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

I never learned how to swim either. I have two much older siblings who were given swim lessons when little,I think by the time I came along my parents were sort of pooped out with the whole -"hmmm,now what things should we help her with to adequately prepare her for life?" I've avoided water like the plague as a result and REALLY feel like a weirdie when summer comes around and the emphasis is on water activities!!

Swim lessons for adults aren't that uncommon though -call around to some rec. centers and you'll find a bunch that are pretty inexpensive! I wish you luck,you're braver than I am!!!


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

I'd start by just learning to float/not drown (although maybe you can do that already?)

Then the thing to do it get one of those little floating board-things that look like a cheese-board (yes, I'm middle class), hold that out in front of you or clasp it to your chest and work on kicking the legs. Once you get the hang of that, put the board under your belly or legs so you stay afloat, and work on the arm strokes. Finally, loose the board and add them together.

Those things shouldn't be too hard to get the hang of. The slightly harder part is getting the breathing/head movements right, but that comes with time.

There probably is a lot of information/"how to" stuff online, so if you have the opportunity to go somewhere where you'll be safe (and have the right equipment - board, goggles...) then you could even learn on your own (please don't drown!).

As others here have said, there may be some beginner lessons available you could look for. 

Or maybe it's something a future boyfriend could help you with? :b Free lessons + with someone you're more comfortable being partially clothed around.

Regular lap swimming is good exercise, but it's actually pretty intense. Is there not a chance that it might actually put you off exercise altogether? Maybe starting with something less physically intense first would be better, then working up to lap swimming? It's a good goal to have though.

Really I don't think you should be too embarrassed about not being able to swim. We're land mammals. There are a lot of people who can't/don't due to location or various other reasons.

I can sympathise with your experience of PE swimming lessons, though (especially if the pools weren't heated in the UK? :shock). A lot of swimming teachers of young kids seemed to be really sadistic, in my experience. Plus there's the whole semi-nakedness thing, which is never fun.

Side note: Whoever invented water-polo was one sick mother****er. It's basically dodgeball while trying not to drown + the added joy of being kicked/groped underwater.


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## Gwynevere (Oct 6, 2013)

^yeah, learn to float first, you could even learn in a bathtub, just take a really deep breath, lay back, and trust that your body wont go under water.

You might feel safer having someone teach you or at least just being around to pull you out if you start drowning.

It's gotta be hard learning as an adult though, you could try learning the same way kids do but it might be really embarrassing to start that way. I think most kids learn the 'doggy-paddle' technique first which is silly and inefficient but it's really easy to do and it'll give you some confidence that you can swim and have something to fall back on.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

TicklemeRingo said:


> Or maybe it's something a future boyfriend could help you with? :b Free lessons + with someone you're more comfortable being partially clothed around.


I'll be waiting a long time then. 

A friend offered to teach me just the other day, but he's a straight guy and that has so much potential to get weird.



Gwynevere said:


> ^yeah, learn to float first, you could even learn in a bathtub, just take a really deep breath, lay back, and trust that your body wont go under water.


Embarrassing confession: baths fill me with distaste too, so I only ever shower. Ever. I'm a cat.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

lisbeth said:


> I'll be waiting a long time then.
> 
> A friend offered to teach me just the other day, but he's a straight guy and that has *so much potential to get weird.*


Yeah, that situation sounds like the start to some badly written (although still kinda hot, tbh) erotic fiction.


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## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

I didn't read any responses so maybe this is redundant, but If I were in your position I'd youtube some beginner swimming lessons, find a pool on an overcast day so there are less people around, and practice in the shallow end. It's actually pretty easy to pick up.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

lisbeth said:


> But how the hell do you learn to swim as an adult? Do you teach yourself? How?


Find a pool that's not too deep (3 feet or so) and start practicing. You can find internet videos showing you the basic strokes.

I learned to ski in much the same way. I rented a pair of skis, went to the top of the bunny hill and observed the other skiers trying to copy their movements. It went okay. :stu


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## Marko3 (Mar 18, 2014)

loneliness said:


> I was like you for the longest time, until my friend pushed me into the deep end of a pool. I learned to swim faster than I've ever learned anything before.


hah so true.. i remember when i was like 6 or so.. i was standing by the pool and one guy just pushed me in just for fun... and into the deep part of the pool... was scared as ****... and i just started to swim, like a puppy...

was a cruel way how i learned swimming, cause i could have drowned


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

I don't know how to swim either. :high5
My boyfriend tried teaching me a bit, but I still can't even float :| Hopefully we can both learn one day Lisbeth.  I can't be that hard lol.



TicklemeRingo said:


> Or maybe it's something a future boyfriend could help you with? :b Free lessons + with someone you're more comfortable being partially clothed around.


:yes


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

TicklemeRingo said:


> Yeah, that situation sounds like the start to some badly written (although still kinda hot, tbh) erotic fiction.


If it was a summer evening at some secluded lake somewhere with birds and insects softly chirping in the distance and a breeze rippling across the warm, still water and overhanging branches making lovely shadows in the fading light of the sunset...

instead of frustration at my incompetence in a really crowded, over-chlorinated shabby indoor public pool that ten children have already pissed in that day, yeah.



mezzoforte said:


> I don't know how to swim either. :high5
> My boyfriend tried teaching me a bit, but I still can't even float :| Hopefully we can both learn one day Lisbeth.  I can't be that hard lol.


I know someone who learned to swim at 65, so it's never too late, mezzo! There's hope for us yet!


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## Gwynevere (Oct 6, 2013)

lisbeth said:


> instead of frustration at my incompetence in a really crowded, over-chlorinated shabby indoor public pool that ten children have already pissed in that day, yeah.


Oh god, that's where you were planning to learn! Idk if you should try to learn in a crowded place like that if you so many insecurities about water, you don't want to look over and see a kid push another kid under water and have those fears come back.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

Gwynevere said:


> Oh god, that's where you were planning to learn! Idk if you should try to learn in a crowded place like that if you so many insecurities about water, you don't want to look over and see a kid push another kid under water and have those fears come back.


There's nowhere else to!

I can go at weird times of day on weekdays when all the kids are at school and everybody else is at work.


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## Grog (Sep 13, 2013)

Again , just learn how to float and somewhere jou can stand up when you need to , when you can float and tread water the rest will follow fairly easily . Floating is laying on your back , deep breath and straight body and stick your chest up , don't worry to much if your legs sink a bit it's just about keeping your face above water not your whole head , use your cupped hands to stabilise and move . Treading water The main thing is keep them legs moving in circles and cupped hands the same now your treading water and can float your safe from drowning . . The easiest stroke is the survival stroke . One thing with all other strokes kick like **** constantly and have kinda floppy ankles and feet try and mimic flippers or fins it makes it a whole lot easier and breath slow and deep as air means float . 
Hope this helps 
Good luck I'm sure you can do it


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## KiwiGirl (Nov 13, 2011)

I have a friend who has recently started getting swimming lessons. She is 40. She has really bad anxiety with water. The lessons are working for her. They start you off in the kids pool. She is getting more and more confident. Try getting some lessons.


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