# I am moving 1000 miles away from home & family.



## xTaylor (Aug 18, 2011)

On July 2nd, I will be waking up early in the morning to get ready for the 45 minute car ride to O'Hare airport in Chicago and impatiently wait to board my one way flight to North Carolina.

Once I get off my second plane, i'll be in Jacksonville, NC, & my fiance will be there waiting for me to drive us to the courthouse to get married. We're keeping our marriage on the down-low though. I don't want to make a big deal over a courthouse wedding, once I have my real wedding i'll tell the whole world!
Then i'm assuming my new husband will have to fill out paperwork for the Marine Corps. to notify them that he is now married and will live off base.

Now, this might sound crazy, but I am hoping this is a good step into getting rid of my social anxiety. Being with him makes me want to be better at life, he motivates me. Living at home with my alcoholic father and unmotivated mother is very.. depressing. They don't encourage me to do anything, and talking to my mother doesn't help my social anxiety at all. I'll tell her something, an opinion, an idea, just anything really, and her response is 'hm.' I don't even put in the effort to talk to my dad, he's just a straight a--hole, if I want to keep some self-esteem, I stay clear of him. 

I was going to go to community college to get my associates in web development here, and then realized there's no way I can even get to school.. We have one car, my mom's hours change because she works in retail and my dad works at a factory 3rd shift. And a side note, my dad basically terrified me of driving more than I already was because he constantly told me how bad I was when we did drive.. I have my license, but I've hardly drove because he made my fear of it even worse. I just find my parents very judgmental and I want to get away from it. 


So in short, I'm moving to NC to marry the guy I've been with for four years to hopefully start new and get away from a depressing lifestyle. I notice I do better socially in public by myself then with people I know here. 

This plan can either fail miserably or be one of the best things I've ever done.

Thoughts?
My age might make some people ask what the hell am I doing.


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## LordScott (Apr 9, 2012)

good luck darling


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## xTaylor (Aug 18, 2011)

LordScott said:


> good luck darling


Thank you.


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

Your age is something to note, but not all 18 year old's are created equal and maybe you're mature enough to make such a major decision. I hope you're confident that you won't regret this when you're 23, because while that's only 5 years away, you will change a lot as a person in that time frame. How old is your boyfriend?

It sounds like you're running away from problems, so I hope it works out for you.


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## xTaylor (Aug 18, 2011)

the cheat said:


> Your age is something to note, but not all 18 year old's are created equal and maybe you're mature enough to make such a major decision. I hope you're confident that you won't regret this when you're 23, because while that's only 5 years away, you will change a lot as a person in that time frame. How old is your boyfriend?
> 
> It sounds like you're running away from problems, so I hope it works out for you.


I've heard that before, that i'll change with in the next 5 years. I noticed my fiance changed, but I suppose that's what becoming a Marine does :stu. I adapted to the changes.. We're 2 years apart, he is 20.


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

xTaylor said:


> I've heard that before, that i'll change with in the next 5 years. I noticed my fiance changed, but I suppose that's what becoming a Marine does :stu. I adapted to the changes.. We're 2 years apart, he is 20.


Well everybody changes throughout life, but the change between 18 and 23 can be one of the trickier one's. You'll both change in the next 5 years, but if you can change together, it'll work out.

Are you rushing the marriage in order for him to be able to live off-base?


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## xTaylor (Aug 18, 2011)

the cheat said:


> Well everybody changes throughout life, but the change between 18 and 23 can be one of the trickier one's. You'll both change in the next 5 years, but if you can change together, it'll work out.
> 
> Are you rushing the marriage in order for him to be able to live off-base?


He wants me there because he says life is better when i'm around, and his unit wont allow us to live together unless we're married. So I suppose, we're rushing it so we can be together again, we've been long distance for about a year and a half now and it's expensive for me and him to go back and forth, and long distance relationships are hard.


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

Do you have a plan for your own life, once you're there? Will you be able to attend college once you're living with him? I think you should do it, you only live once and you can't let potential mistakes stop you from taking risks in the first place.


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## xTaylor (Aug 18, 2011)

the cheat said:


> Do you have a plan for your own life, once you're there? Will you be able to attend college once you're living with him? I think you should do it, you only live once and you can't let potential mistakes stop you from taking risks in the first place.


There is a community college there, but it's not very good for the degree I want to get.. So I was planning to do college online. :/


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

xTaylor said:


> There is a community college there, but it's not very good for the degree I want to get.. So I was planning to do college online. :/


Get planning! Hit the ground running, so to speak.  I mean, of course you'll have to wait until you have your place and internet and such, but your first few weeks and months there will be when your motivation to improve will be at its highest, so try and take advantage of it.

Good luck, I hope he's right for you.


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

Good luck.


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## xTaylor (Aug 18, 2011)

the cheat said:


> Get planning! Hit the ground running, so to speak.  I mean, of course you'll have to wait until you have your place and internet and such, but your first few weeks and months there will be when your motivation to improve will be at its highest, so try and take advantage of it.
> 
> Good luck, I hope he's right for you.





Nada said:


> Good luck.


Thanks


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Well, you are young, so you should make sure not to get pregnant until you are done with school and have a decent job. I recommend the IUD for birth control. 

I also think you should get a regular degree. I have a sinking feeling that online degrees from for-profit universities are worthless.


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## CrimsonTrigger (Jun 28, 2011)

Sounds like things are moving in a positive direction for you. As far as being too young to get married, I'm simply going to say that you never truly know anything until you try, so I say think of it as a positive step forward. 

I hope things start to move in a positive direction for you. You seem like a deserving person.


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## xTaylor (Aug 18, 2011)

CrimsonTrigger said:


> Sounds like things are moving in a positive direction for you. As far as being too young to get married, I'm simply going to say that you never truly know anything until you try, so I say think of it as a positive step forward.
> 
> I hope things start to move in a positive direction for you. You seem like a deserving person.


Thank you . That's how i was thinking, I won't know until I try it, and i've got nothing to lose..



komorikun said:


> Well, you are young, so you should make sure not to get pregnant until you are done with school and have a decent job. I recommend the IUD for birth control.
> 
> I also think you should get a regular degree. I have a sinking feeling that online degrees from for-profit universities are worthless.


Ee, no babies! Not anytime soon! I need to learn how to take care of myself first! lol. & thanks, i'll look into it. 

I kind of thought that too about online degrees. :| I don't know. Atleast I know what I want to do lol, it took me soo long to figure it out.


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## stewie (Feb 11, 2011)

Good luck


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## SuperSky (Feb 16, 2011)

Good luck!  My long dist. boyfriend and I are trying to figure out how to do a 9000 mile move, so I understand the tricky logistics of it.
Hope it all works out for you, and good on ya for giving it a go


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## xTaylor (Aug 18, 2011)

stewie said:


> Good luck


Thanks!



SuperSky said:


> Good luck!  My long dist. boyfriend and I are trying to figure out how to do a 9000 mile move, so I understand the tricky logistics of it.
> Hope it all works out for you, and good on ya for giving it a go


Eee! Hope you guys move together soon , sounds like it could be a little difficult! But thanks!


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## jayjaythejetplane (May 13, 2011)

I wish I had just an ounce of your bravery. Hope it all works out.


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## xTaylor (Aug 18, 2011)

jayjaythejetplane said:


> I wish I had just an ounce of your bravery. Hope it all works out.


Lol, i'm a little scared . But thank you


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## Ninetales (Jan 6, 2012)

Going out of your comfort zone usually brings awesome stuff!

Good Luck, and most of all be positive! Don't let small problems think otherwise. You'll definatly get some problems, perhaps temporary, but know it is normal. 

And age is nothing, some people become adults when they are 13, others when they are 24, and other never grow up.


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## xTaylor (Aug 18, 2011)

Ninetales said:


> Going out of your comfort zone usually brings awesome stuff!
> 
> Good Luck, and most of all be positive! Don't let small problems think otherwise. You'll definatly get some problems, perhaps temporary, but know it is normal.
> 
> And age is nothing, some people become adults when they are 13, others when they are 24, and other never grow up.


Thanks!  I will remember to stay positive!
& that last statement is very true!


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## Dark Soul (May 18, 2012)

In most things, I am "age be damned"...just do it. However, when it comes to marriage, I'm a little more hesitant. 18, in my opinion, is way too young. I mean, you haven't even had time to explore the possibilities yet. Maybe this person is "the one," but that is a big maybe. Anyhow, like I said, I'm all for doing what you like regardless of age, so if you feel strongly about this then by all means do it. Good luck.


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## xTaylor (Aug 18, 2011)

Dark Soul said:


> In most things, I am "age be damned"...just do it. However, when it comes to marriage, I'm a little more hesitant. 18, in my opinion, is way too young. I mean, you haven't even had time to explore the possibilities yet. Maybe this person is "the one," but that is a big maybe. Anyhow, like I said, I'm all for doing what you like regardless of age, so if you feel strongly about this then by all means do it. Good luck.


I don't think there are many 'possibilities' with social anxiety.  
But thank you.


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

I Salute You


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## PitaMe (Sep 3, 2008)

I did the exact same thing when I was your age too. Just remember social anxiety, and a bad family life doesn't go away the farther you move. You take it with you wherever you go, and the key is finding a way to deal with the effects of the two. I wish you all the best  North Carolina is beautiful.


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## here4umm (Jun 9, 2012)

I think that it's really great that your making a change in your life instead of just being "there" and believing there is nothing else to it or any point in life. I feel stuck on the "there" part of things but I'm trying to find a good psychiatrist/therapist at the moment.


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## windchimes (Jun 26, 2012)

I think your better off getting married cause I lived a life like that, and after I married and then moved away I really learned to love life and myself, I think moving away was the best thing i could of ever done, of course I was 29..if you really love him, go and see what happens, if you have any doubts, maybe live together and see how you feel in two years?


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## xTaylor (Aug 18, 2011)

Kristie26 said:


> I did the exact same thing when I was your age too. *Just remember social anxiety, and a bad family life doesn't go away the farther you move. You take it with you wherever you go, and the key is finding a way to deal with the effects of the two.* I wish you all the best  North Carolina is beautiful.


That is so true.  
Hopefully my new husband will help me overcome social anxiety, like he has in the past. But i'm hoping I can push myself once i'm out there, because I will have more opportunities than i will here living with my parents.



here4umm said:


> I think that it's really great that your making a change in your life instead of just being "there" and believing there is nothing else to it or any point in life. I feel stuck on the "there" part of things but I'm trying to find a good psychiatrist/therapist at least..


Thank you! I've been there, and hopefully don't ever go back there. I never believed talking to a psychiatrist would help me, but maybe that's because I didn't want to find out that it really didn't help me and that I was hopeless. I really just wanted to disappear. I realized I needed to at least attempt to stop being miserable, & moving away is my attempt, because I will never get anywhere in life sitting in my room.


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## Reclus (Jan 11, 2012)

Go for it - love is always worth chasing after.

Best wishes


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## Rivermark (Jun 17, 2011)

I do believe that the distance will help you grow into your own person. Good luck, I hope everything works out!


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