# What you're thinking about right now, Creativity Edition



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

All right! I've been pondering starting this thread for ages but never had the guts. Here it goes.

Similar to its namesake thread, this thread is for typing what you're thinking about, EXCEPT the theme is creativity. Type what you're thinking about whatever creative/artistic endeavor you happen to be engaged in. *Writing, poetry, screenplays, film, music, dance, photography, arts (any kind), crafts, design, whatever medium you use, whatever you're thinking about it, share it here.* :smile2:

This is _not_ a thread to ask for criticism on your latest project. You CAN feel free to share any art or writing or poetry or lyrics or whatever you like!...but please don't expect other users to critique it or to respond unless they offer to. If you're looking for critique, it would be good to start your own thread or post in another thread for that purpose.

This also isn't a thread to chatter about OTHER people's creative works (for example, famous art or published books)--that would belong better in the Entertainment section--BUT, feel free to talk about these if they have a bearing or influence on YOUR works. For example, if you're writing a fanfic, or if somebody's book or song or painting inspired you to create your own and you want to give some background info, please do. (It's always fascinating to learn about inspiration!)

Obviously I have no say over what does or doesn't get posted here, just providing some guidelines so the purpose of the thread is understood.

...And now I imagine I'll be in here talking to myself. ;_; But oh well...the thread is here for anyone who wants to use it!


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

What I'm thinking about right now...working on the DID story I've been sporadically posting to the site. I really want to add some to it but I'm stuck. I know certain events I want to happen since this story has been in my head for years, but I don't know the order of them all (originally this was supposed to be a bunch of different novels), and I don't know how to pick up where I left off. Transitioning from one story event to another has become troublesome, since, as I said, this wasn't originally meant to be just ONE story.

And now I've wasted the night posting this thread, instead. :serious:

I just feel frustrated when I FINALLY have the time and inclination to write something but I just have no clue where to start or continue. :/


Okay, goodnight.


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## Virgo (Jun 27, 2016)

Did not practice guitar today. Must practice extra tomorrow!!!

To be fair though, I was in NYC at a museum so there we go, I was absorbing and experiencing enough creativity today. :teeth I was just too tired when I got home to not relax and watch videos...

Since I'm a complete beginner though, it is pretty essential that I practice every day.

I will from now on. :crying:


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## flyingMint (Aug 31, 2015)

I don't know if this counts but i've spent the last 30 minutes browsing the copyright database digging around to see if my favorite artists had recently submitted anything new for copyright. 

That's creative right? Obsessive but creative :b


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

While trying to doze I also tried brainstorming some ideas of where I want this story to go. Got a few thoughts. I imagine another time skip (since it's apparently lots of different intended novels combined into this one...whatever this thing is I'm writing, it's going to have time skips), but oh well, I never claimed it was high literature. :/


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## Tongue Twisted (Mar 23, 2017)

Virgo said:


> Did not practice guitar today. Must practice extra tomorrow!!!
> 
> To be fair though, I was in NYC at a museum so there we go, I was absorbing and experiencing enough creativity today. :teeth I was just too tired when I got home to not relax and watch videos...
> 
> ...


I've recently started to learn guitar also! At first my fingers were crying from the pain but I think I've got used to it now.

I've learnt some chords and am trying to play Wonderwall. My neighbours have to put up with my slow, noisy progress heh.

But yeah, practising every day is a must but can be really hard!


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## Virgo (Jun 27, 2016)

Tongue Twisted said:


> I've recently started to learn guitar also! At first my fingers were crying from the pain but I think I've got used to it now.
> 
> I've learnt some chords and am trying to play Wonderwall. My neighbours have to put up with my slow, noisy progress heh.
> 
> But yeah, practising every day is a must but can be really hard!


Agreed, my fingers hurt so bad. Everyone says their fingers are sore at first. I was told to take a break and run them under lukewarm water if it hurts, I haven't done that yet I'm just trying to get used to it and push through the pain lmao.

I want to learn to play Cath by Death Cab. I need to learn chords still haha. Switching between them, too. You're much farther ahead than me! Good luck keep on practicing.


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## Act to fall (Apr 15, 2017)

I've been trying to take drawing seriously and make a more serious effort to get better at it, but I'm having trouble finding time to practice since I don't like the idea of my parents seeing me drawing.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Virgo said:


> Agreed, my fingers hurt so bad. Everyone says their fingers are sore at first. I was told to take a break and run them under lukewarm water if it hurts, I haven't done that yet I'm just trying to get used to it and push through the pain lmao.
> 
> I want to learn to play Cath by Death Cab. I need to learn chords still haha. Switching between them, too. You're much farther ahead than me! Good luck keep on practicing.


Yeah I remember that when I used to play the guitar years ago, after a while they just kind of become numb lol.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Virgo said:


> Agreed, my fingers hurt so bad. Everyone says their fingers are sore at first. I was told to take a break and run them under lukewarm water if it hurts, I haven't done that yet I'm just trying to get used to it and push through the pain lmao.
> 
> I want to learn to play Cath by Death Cab. I need to learn chords still haha. Switching between them, too. You're much farther ahead than me! Good luck keep on practicing.


Wait till you get to the peeling calluses. :laugh:

Got enough tubes of hand lotion to hand out to every self-proclaimed forever alone guy on here to do their business.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

I have all these great ideas that can theoretically have potential to sell, but I lack the artistic talent to execute them even half well. What a let down. I'm thinking about publishing a book sometime by the end of this year, but I'm going to need an artist to help me with the illustrations.


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## Virgo (Jun 27, 2016)

acidicwithpanic said:


> I have all these great ideas that can theoretically have potential to sell, but I lack the artistic talent to execute them even half well. What a let down. I'm thinking about publishing a book sometime by the end of this year, but I'm going to need an artist to help me with the illustrations.


What kind of book is it since you need illustrations? Children's book?


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Virgo said:


> What kind of book is it since you need illustrations? Children's book?


I'm curious about what type of book it is, too. :blush


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## LydeaCharlotteGirl (Aug 27, 2013)

I've been thinking about the next chapter of one of my sadly now very rarely updated fanfics. Like most of them, it's set in a girls' boarding school, and related to the Chalet School childrens book series that has a fairly huge worldwide fanbase. Though unfortunately, it's not just me who isn't writing much fanfiction for it any more (there used to be lots of activity) and I very much doubt anyone on here has heard of the series, let alone read any of the books.


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## Act to fall (Apr 15, 2017)

Well here we go, time to out myself as having no business posting in this section of the forum


http://imgur.com/GNkCcX4


Not posting that for critique, though that's certainly welcome. I'm posting that to give context to my "what I'm thinking about." What I'm thinking about is why I'm wasting my time, and whether people without natural talent can actually learn art. I want a creative outlet for my thoughts and visual representation is what I'm drawn to rather than music or words, but I'm not sure I have the capacity to actually learn to draw. It is really painful, to flip through the last 100 pages of my sketchbook, and see that it just won't click. Even watching someone else draw and copying what they do as they do it, I can't make my pencil do what they're doing. I just don't know if I should continue pursuing this or find a different medium.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Virgo said:


> What kind of book is it since you need illustrations? Children's book?





tehuti88 said:


> I'm curious about what type of book it is, too. :blush


A math-related book. :laugh: For now I'm just substituting lame clip art as I type it, so that when I find an illustrator, they'll get an idea of what I'm wanting on each page.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Act to fall said:


> Well here we go, time to out myself as having no business posting in this section of the forum
> 
> 
> http://imgur.com/GNkCcX4
> ...


What!! That looks great! Of course there are people with natural talent but I feel like the majority of great artists learnt through trial and error and practice, lots of practice. I'm not a great artist or anything but if you saw my progress through the years it's still substantial. It's actually irritating when people compliment me by saying I'm naturally talented because I'm not. I guess what I'm trying to say is that art is more practice and honing than anything in my experience.

Getting back to the point, if you enjoy the idea of drawing and you have a passion for it then keep at it! Maybe try different mediums and genres, if it truly doesn't resonate with you. I find that I enjoy digital and oil/acrylic painting the most because when it "doesn't click" I just keep going over it until it does.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Tomorrow I need to focus and work on the set list for this metal band, get my bass playing nice and tight


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## Act to fall (Apr 15, 2017)

roxslide said:


> What!! That looks great! Of course there are people with natural talent but I feel like the majority of great artists learnt through trial and error and practice, lots of practice. I'm not a great artist or anything but if you saw my progress through the years it's still substantial. It's actually irritating when people compliment me by saying I'm naturally talented because I'm not. I guess what I'm trying to say is that art is more practice and honing than anything in my experience.
> 
> Getting back to the point, if you enjoy the idea of drawing and you have a passion for it then keep at it! Maybe try different mediums and genres, if it truly doesn't resonate with you. I find that I enjoy digital and oil/acrylic painting the most because when it "doesn't click" I just keep going over it until it does.


I'd love to see before and after pictures if that's something you have.


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## PhilipJFry (Jan 24, 2012)

I'd like to sit around and write some music. I can never just write for a couple hours though and I have too much to do today.


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## slyfox (Nov 18, 2007)

I've been thinking of getting back into stone carving. I usually prefer harder stone like granite because I don't like how soft alabaster and soapstone are. Wish I had better tools, but I can't really justify buying better with as little as I've stone carved. My tools (diamond files, dremel with flex shaft and diamond bits) are only really suitable for smaller stone carvings like pendants and figurines. I would like to move up to bigger rocks that can be placed outside(about basketball sized or smaller). Might have to invest in a carbide tipped chisel(unless I do something like limestone), but I'm probably going to wait until I do a few small carvings first to make sure I'll stay motivated.

Just need to get the motivation. I never feel up to it. Maybe I should force myself to do a little bit each day even if it is a pathetic amount. I find Ted Ludwiczak inspiring http://folkart.org/mag/ted-ludwiczak . He just used whatever tools he had around. Assume some were of softer stone though.

A little on the frustration side of things. One type of power tool I could upgrade to is an angle grinder with diamond disks. I've seen people use them to shape stone and to make cuts, which they break away with a chisel. Aside from money the problem is those things scare me. I've gone on forums and read how deadly angle grinders can be if their disks shatter. People have literally been killed by the shrapnel and I think some of those people might've been using the safety guard. These people were just talking about regular use like on cars and construction sides. I would imagine hard stone could be even more dangerous if you don't do it properly.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Act to fall said:


> I'd love to see before and after pictures if that's something you have.


oh well I have a lot of pictures to choose from it was hard to choose what to show exactly but I tried to keep it with similar genre, medium and subject matter (I hope these links work)this is from my first year of starting digital art, and this is something I drew relatively recently. Please ignore the subject matter of both of them since they are equally cringe in different ways lol

but yeah over time I definitely feel my own improvement whether or not it's really visible here. Over time drawing has becoming more and more about drawing whatever I want to draw rather than being limited by my lack of skills and being stuck drawing the small number of things I was confident in drawing. I'm still not great even now but I look to keep at it and hope I'll be better for years to come! I implore you to do the same.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I need to start rehearsing my own songs regularly


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## Act to fall (Apr 15, 2017)

roxslide said:


> oh well I have a lot of pictures to choose from it was hard to choose what to show exactly but I tried to keep it with similar genre, medium and subject matter (I hope these links work)this is from my first year of starting digital art, and this is something I drew relatively recently. Please ignore the subject matter of both of them since they are equally cringe in different ways lol
> 
> but yeah over time I definitely feel my own improvement whether or not it's really visible here. Over time drawing has becoming more and more about drawing whatever I want to draw rather than being limited by my lack of skills and being stuck drawing the small number of things I was confident in drawing. I'm still not great even now but I look to keep at it and hope I'll be better for years to come! I implore you to do the same.


Yeah wow, that is a big difference, and I guess you also switched to a more realistic style. Thanks, and good luck in continuing to improve.


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## konas8 (Nov 23, 2016)

roxslide said:


> oh well I have a lot of pictures to choose from it was hard to choose what to show exactly but I tried to keep it with similar genre, medium and subject matter (I hope these links work)this is from my first year of starting digital art, and this is something I drew relatively recently. Please ignore the subject matter of both of them since they are equally cringe in different ways lol
> 
> but yeah over time I definitely feel my own improvement whether or not it's really visible here. Over time drawing has becoming more and more about drawing whatever I want to draw rather than being limited by my lack of skills and being stuck drawing the small number of things I was confident in drawing. I'm still not great even now but I look to keep at it and hope I'll be better for years to come! I implore you to do the same.


Nice work. That's quite a marked improvement.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

I feel like posting some of my art on the forum would be a good exercise. Unfortunately my favourite pieces are nudes.

Also, I really need to try digital art again. Had the tablet since last July, used it three times I think. My style of drawing doesn't seem to lend itself to digital, though maybe I can do line art, scan and then colour it digitally. 

Also also, I wish I had imagination.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

It's not learning the music that gets me in bands, it's the social element when you're not playing


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## Rains (Jan 20, 2016)

TheWelshOne said:


> Also, I really need to try digital art again. Had the tablet since last July, used it three times I think. My style of drawing doesn't seem to lend itself to digital, though maybe I can do line art, scan and then colour it digitally.


Which tablet are you using? I've hardly used mine. I keep just painting with my mouse instead. Everyone seems to think this is crazy but I just don't find painting on a tablet to be easier or better.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Well, the other day I finally wrote some more on my DID story, though didn't finish the scene yet and have been too depressed over health issues to work on it since then. :/ At least it's something, I guess.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Rains said:


> Which tablet are you using? I've hardly used mine. I keep just painting with my mouse instead. Everyone seems to think this is crazy but I just don't find painting on a tablet to be easier or better.


I always preferred that too, I got used to using a mouse before using a tablet. I did find using the small bamboo tablets I used at uni better than my own one though.


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## Paperback Writer (Feb 7, 2015)

I've decided to (belatedly) take the advice that it's best to write short stories before moving onto bigger projects. I haven't finished anything (nothing coherent, anyway) since my "serious" writing began in 2013. At this point, I just want to be able to say that I have, so maybe lowering my ambitions will help.

There's something I've been working on, on and off, since that year. I'd envisaged a series of flashback chapters for it, and I think that they could work as a short story in their own right. I'm also hoping that writing something set in the past of this series will help me clarify a few details that I still haven't really worked out - despite the initial idea being nearly four years old. :um

It's going...slowly. I know that I _could_ push myself to write X amount of words a day, but I'm not. Maybe I just don't want to mess up another idea. Earlier this year I'd challenged myself to finish something by my birthday (which is in about three weeks), so maybe mentioning that here will help motivate me to do so.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

Rains said:


> Which tablet are you using? I've hardly used mine. I keep just painting with my mouse instead. Everyone seems to think this is crazy but I just don't find painting on a tablet to be easier or better.


It's a Wacom Intuos Draw. I'm so used to just drawing pencil-to-paper that it's hard to look at a screen instead of down at my pen; plus it's a bit stilted. I can see using a mouse being better, tbh. Esp for painting. I should have shopped around a bit first and probably got the iSKN Slate, seems to suit my style of working better. I'm not great with change. :lol


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

Been holding off on cutting the expensive German leather for one of my bracelet prototypes. Cutting is difficult because of me neck (cant properly get over the top of it for very long) and don't want to screw it up.

Still, I think I might have devised a way to minimise both leather use, and get it done easily. This leather is sooo nice though, I'm scared to do it :lol.


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## slickyabra (Feb 14, 2016)

Have some pretty good ideas for a piece of music, but still lost on certain elements. Can't get down certain melodies and I'm stuck on the chord progression.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

Peter Capaldi is gonna have left Doctor Who before I get this goddamn cross-stitch finished. Gotta get my arse in gear.


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## TryingMara (Mar 25, 2012)

oops, wrong what are you thinking about thread.


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## Act to fall (Apr 15, 2017)

I wish there was a thread to post stuff for critique or to chart your progress for people learning.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

While dozing had more ideas for the backstory in my DID storyline (i. e., not the stuff that's going on now, but stuff in the past that shaped what's going on now and explains the characters' motivations and interactions)...but can't share details as it's rather R rated. :um Let's just say Kristeva has one messed-up past.

Maybe it'll be good for one of my smutty stories.



Act to fall said:


> I wish there was a thread to post stuff for critique or to chart your progress for people learning.


This thread is fine for charting one's creative progress.  I used to keep a log of progress back when I wrote regularly. And sometimes it's interesting to look back and see how much one's technique has changed over time.

I clarified that this isn't the thread for critique as I've seen on other sites that there are far more requests for critique than there are people willing to offer critique, and I wouldn't want anyone to feel snubbed. :/ I've grown too shy of offering critique myself since I always seem to offend people. ops

...

I wanted to thank everyone who's been contributing to this thread so far, BTW. I enjoy seeing the creative things everyone is up to.


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## janet11 (May 2, 2017)

I really want to create a painting by myself, and I tried many times to complete a good painting. It’s hard to for me to imagine, which I still can't draw it out after a few months. Maybe I copy too much and lose the ability to create? I am not clear.


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## Smallfry (Oct 11, 2004)

I might have a go at making Kimichi which i suddenly have a craving for but the idea of putting squid or dried fish in it sounds gross. I'll be leaving that out if and when I have the energy to make it


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I need to refocus on my poetry and put together a book


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## Virgo (Jun 27, 2016)

My guitar just got fixed up and it made such a huge difference. Wow it's like a brand new guitar!!! It sounds awesome.

Plus I'm improving!!!!

My teacher is such a master though lol omg he can play so fast and I'm like :O


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Scales and song rehearsal this evening while watching the hockey game


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

More brainstorming backstory ideas. Now Kincaid's past is a lot more disturbing than I'd thought. Let's just say it involves a collar and a muzzle. :um


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

I thought if I moved to my mom's house I'd somehow have more room to be creative but it's really getting stifled by all the people here. I'm hoping when I get time tomorrow to be alone, I can get some time to draw/design things, maybe even learn some new songs on piano.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I'm not doing enough practice on bass to learn all the songs for the metal band I joined, I need to improv on that so I'm not scrambling before sessions


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## Act to fall (Apr 15, 2017)

It's hard to keep track of time when drawing, I sit down at 11:30 to do 30 minutes before bed and then suddenly it's 1am.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Act to fall said:


> It's hard to keep track of time when drawing, I sit down at 11:30 to do 30 minutes before bed and then suddenly it's 1am.


I kind of wish drawing was like that for me. I sit down to draw and if it isn't perfect within 30 minutes, I get frustrated and give up. ops

To draw and zone out and lose track of time sounds nice. (Even if it means one loses some sleep.)


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## Watashix7 (Apr 16, 2017)

I don't know if i have to tell him, that i don't like hokey (Lol, i'm in a chat and even there, i'm not sure of what i should say and what not)


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## Act to fall (Apr 15, 2017)

tehuti88 said:


> I kind of wish drawing was like that for me. I sit down to draw and if it isn't perfect within 30 minutes, I get frustrated and give up. ops
> 
> To draw and zone out and lose track of time sounds nice. (Even if it means one loses some sleep.)


Even though I completely suck at it, I really enjoy drawing and it's almost like meditation. I got a chance to draw some just now, I guess I was at it for about 2 hours. http://i.imgur.com/YSWHui0.jpg making basically zero progress, also these were pretty much all drawn naked and then I threw on the clothes to make it safe to post here at the end lol


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## Paperback Writer (Feb 7, 2015)

I feel like I've been writing more songs lately. Some of them are just fragments, but generally a lot has been coming.

One thing that's struck me is how lazy I am with the songwriting process. Once I have the melody I tend to just scribble down whatever words come to mind that fit and think, "that'll do". I have to force myself to go back and finish off the lyrics. But even then, I just tend to go with the first thing I can think of that doesn't sound completely terrible and then deem it finished.

I think it's because I don't take it as seriously as my largely disastrous attempts at fiction writing.


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## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

How to measure gun violence fantasies according to various levels of gun acceptance in societies delineated by geopolitical boundaries.

Ty for your drawings, Act.


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## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

does anyone else like to digitally alter photographs? I have messed about with this quite a bit in my spare time. basically I take a photo and kind of, remix it? lol. here is some stuff I have done;


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Act to fall said:


> Even though I completely suck at it, I really enjoy drawing and it's almost like meditation. I got a chance to draw some just now, I guess I was at it for about 2 hours. http://i.imgur.com/YSWHui0.jpg making basically zero progress, also these were pretty much all drawn naked and then I threw on the clothes to make it safe to post here at the end lol


Cool, I used to love figure drawing.  It was like the _one_ type of drawing I was good at, ha.

Unfortunately I was only good when looking at a reference; doing it from my imagination was...blech.



unemployment simulator said:


> does anyone else like to digitally alter photographs? I have messed about with this quite a bit in my spare time. basically I take a photo and kind of, remix it? lol. here is some stuff I have done;


This one's pretty interesting, it's almost like she's removed her own face. I'd love to manipulate photos (or at least learn to draw better!) to illustrate the dreams I have, but alas, that talent eludes me so far.

...

Today finally worked on a little more writing on my DID story, nothing terribly eventful, though I did get to toss in another mention of Kristeva being "the guy who investigates dead animals." That will hang over his head forever. :lol


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## quiet88 (Jan 14, 2016)

Act to fall said:


> It's hard to keep track of time when drawing, I sit down at 11:30 to do 30 minutes before bed and then suddenly it's 1am.


I also wish I could lose time like that when trying to do something creative. Unfortunately, that only happens when I'm just browsing mindlessly online or staring off into space.

Thinking to try starting a blog again. No idea what to write about though. Life is pretty boring.


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## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

tehuti88 said:


> This one's pretty interesting, it's almost like she's removed her own face. I'd love to manipulate photos (or at least learn to draw better!) to illustrate the dreams I have, but alas, that talent eludes me so far.


thats usually where the inspiration comes from, imagination. never really been able to do the same thing with painting, but with digital it seems a lot easier to me. i'd say give it a try, you can do some stuff with just some basics down. like using the cut tool to trace around the edges and cut out a specific part of the picture. then you can start to play around with pasting that onto something else, bit like a digital collage. collage is something i'd like to get more into in general. gimp https://www.gimp.org/ is a decent free alternative to photoshop. its what I use most of the time. would like to try out some 3d programs too at some point.


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## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

would like to give this a go at some point






edit; 3:37 is where the fun starts


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Love the concept of having a looping melodic theme that can be layered upon to varying degrees of intensity in crescendoed waves coming in and out like the tide, it's totally sonic meditation


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

unemployment simulator said:


> would like to give this a go at some point
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Poor preamps :grin2:


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## Rains (Jan 20, 2016)

I find it hard to motivate myself to do anything when I feel depressed af. Strangely though, once I get started I can't stop, so I know I just need to get over the initial hump of inertia.



Act to fall said:


> Even though I completely suck at it, I really enjoy drawing and it's almost like meditation.


Yeah I can relate to it being meditative, which is why I should do it more. I notice when I ruminate while painting, it feels more contemplative rather than distressing.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

These albums have given me renewed confidence in my own compositions


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## Act to fall (Apr 15, 2017)

So I also try portrait drawing, which I struggle with a lot. I feel like this face came out alright (although I put the top of the head a little too low) but I didn't get the likeness of the model at all. If this was just a character I was trying to create I'd be happy, but it's supposed to look like someone and it doesn't at all.


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## Act to fall (Apr 15, 2017)

Also I'm wondering what the site's policy on nude drawings are. What about a drawing that's given the "Ken-doll" and is nude but dick-less?


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## GraciaSeinoPie (Sep 12, 2014)

I'm thinking of learning to play guitar! I've been admiring those electric guitarists for quite some time now, and I'd love to be able to play as well. Also, I think by playing my favorite songs on guitar, it could help me expressing my feelings better.

And I also love to start learning how to do digital art as well. I'm ok at drawing, but I don't know anything about coloring or PS, AI etc. I've seen amazing artworks out there and want to try doing it too!

And maybe start a fanfic of some sort... I don't know, but I think it would be fun. Of course, how good it turns out is another question... I feel bad torturing my future readers (let's pretend I will have some...). But oh well, something has to start somewhere :grin2:


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

That moment when someone reposts your art but gets way more attention than you ever did when you posted it


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## Paperback Writer (Feb 7, 2015)

I think it would make more sense if the monsters were active (but invisible) in reality, and that accessing that other place was a means of giving them physical form in order to neutralise them.

There. I'm making the big decisions. This is good. Admittedly, I should have been making them four years ago, but it's better late than never.


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## softly (Apr 24, 2017)

Just had an enlightening conversation with my professor, I'm really inspired to lock myself in the practice rooms and practice for hours later tonight. It's also a beautiful day, and that is also inspiring.


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## softly (Apr 24, 2017)

Also for any musicians out there, I find it really helpful to draw pictures on my sheet music. If you're an extremely visual person (as I am), I think this might help you express yourself more musically to the audience through your playing!


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## Rains (Jan 20, 2016)

Sometimes I think there's no point... Churning out crappy art that always falls short and gets ignored. I should stick to just reading and sleeping.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I'd like to teach guitar again


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

softly said:


> Also for any musicians out there, I find it really helpful to draw pictures on my sheet music. If you're an extremely visual person (as I am), I think this might help you express yourself more musically to the audience through your playing!


If I could read sheet music or understood music theory I would try that, lol


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## Act to fall (Apr 15, 2017)

Laziness, particularly with respect to hair, is a big issue for me. I feel like I'm improving but it's so random, I draw something and I'm like wow and then the next day I suck again.










If you recognize who this is I will cry with joy but I doubt I got the likeness well enough for that. I'm curious if anyone can guess though, obviously it looks like her to me since I just spent a half hour looking at her photo.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Act to fall said:


> If you recognize who this is I will cry with joy but I doubt I got the likeness well enough for that. I'm curious if anyone can guess though, obviously it looks like her to me since I just spent a half hour looking at her photo.


I'm likely wrong (I really apologize, I'm horrible with faces ops ) but her eyes make me think of Heather Locklear.










I'm pretty lazy with drawing and I think this might be one reason I get so easily frustrated when an image doesn't turn out the way I wanted it to within a half hour. I went through a phase of trying to learn how to draw cartoon faces, and did make some progress, but not nearly as much as I'd hoped (everyone started looking the same :/ ), and so quit.

I have no idea how to make them all look different, and wonder how, say, Disney animators do it. :| Perhaps this is because I'm equally bad at describing/identifying individual aspects of faces in real life; I doubt I could help put together an artist's composite.


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## mattmc (Jun 27, 2013)

One of the problems I have with writing is I don't actually care much about how the characters look. I'm not great at describing people but even if I was, it just doesn't mean a lot to me.

Kind of envy those who are so naturally fascinated with every detail of clothes, hair, etc. That passion must go along way in being able to make the visual aspect come alive. Where for me I just want to focus on the character traits, relationships, and the soul's journey. The vessels and their ornamentation often feel more like distractions.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

mattmc said:


> One of the problems I have with writing is I don't actually care much about how the characters look. I'm not great at describing people but even if I was, it just doesn't mean a lot to me.
> 
> Kind of envy those who are so naturally fascinated with every detail of clothes, hair, etc. That passion must go along way in being able to make the visual aspect come alive. Where for me I just want to focus on the character traits, relationships, and the soul's journey. The vessels and their ornamentation often feel more like distractions.


Similar, except for me it rather bothers me and I wish I were better at it. :/ If a character has some particularly outstanding/unusual physical characteristics, then I can describe those, but aside from that they're all pretty generic looking in my mind, especially facial features, hairstyles, and body types.

I think for me this isn't so much a lack of interest as it is my difficulties with individual physical features (see my previous post). I see people "all put together," not as individual traits, so that makes it difficult to point such things out.

I'm better at describing scenery. :/


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## mattmc (Jun 27, 2013)

tehuti88 said:


> Similar, except for me it rather bothers me and I wish I were better at it. :/ If a character has some particularly outstanding/unusual physical characteristics, then I can describe those, but aside from that they're all pretty generic looking in my mind, especially facial features, hairstyles, and body types.
> 
> I think for me this isn't so much a lack of interest as it is my difficulties with individual physical features (see my previous post). I see people "all put together," not as individual traits, so that makes it difficult to point such things out.
> 
> I'm better at describing scenery. :/


Yes, I'm pretty much the same in thinking of people more as a whole package physically. Like if I was just looking through photos of people, saw a certain hairstyle that was cool, it'd probably be challenging for me to describe it accurately.

One thing that can help is to make someone very unique. Like, if they have wings, they stand out more and the wings have an actual use beyond being a cosmetic feature. Or maybe they have a long tail for grabbing things.

You're probably better at scenery than me. :]


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## Act to fall (Apr 15, 2017)

tehuti88 said:


> I'm likely wrong (I really apologize, I'm horrible with faces ops ) but her eyes make me think of Heather Locklear.


 
* *

















tehuti88 said:


> I have no idea how to make them all look different, and wonder how, say, Disney animators do it. :| Perhaps this is because I'm equally bad at describing/identifying individual aspects of faces in real life; I doubt I could help put together an artist's composite.


That's something naturally tough in art, see for example, anime, where everyone is the same face with different hair.. The solution is drawing real people, until you train yourself to see those differences. Drawing someone's eye teaches you a lot more about what an eye looks like than just looking at their eye. The advice I keep seeing is, draw realistic, draw real people, until you are good at that. Then, after you understand how real people look, you can play with the 'rules' and stylize.


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## bingereader87 (May 16, 2017)

*Writing*

I'm thinking about my aspirations to be a writer. Due to my own shortcomings and how I feel about myself (spoiler alert! It's not good), I am always going back and forth with pursuing it further. I want to be an author. I have so many ideas, including a way to share my experiences with SA, Depression, and my pretty awful mother and father.

That's what I'm thinking about at this moment. :serious:


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## mattmc (Jun 27, 2013)

_"Whoever destroys a soul, it is considered as if he destroyed an entire world. And whoever saves a life, it is considered as if he saved an entire world." - Babylonian Talmud Sanhedrin 37a_

When a character truly views another character as their whole world, and the writing manages to make you feel it, there is nothing more powerful in storytelling. Especially if these two characters feel the same way about each other. The Blacklist is a good example of how effective this can be. Reddington will do anything to protect Elizabeth Keen. The more we see it, the more we feel it, the less it matters that we can't fully explain it. The longer the show goes on it seems like the more Keen sees Reddington how he sees her. That really encapsulates what I want to do with my characters. Have relationships that develop from wherever their starting point is until the characters leave an undeniable mark on each other and hopefully the reader.


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## Mc Borg (Jan 4, 2008)

I wish that I wasn't so impatient with making music. I give up way too easily.


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## ShatteredGlass (Oct 12, 2012)

tehuti88 said:


> All right! I've been pondering starting this thread for ages but never had the guts. Here it goes.
> 
> Similar to its namesake thread, this thread is for typing what you're thinking about, EXCEPT the theme is creativity. Type what you're thinking about whatever creative/artistic endeavor you happen to be engaged in. *Writing, poetry, screenplays, film, music, dance, photography, arts (any kind), crafts, design, whatever medium you use, whatever you're thinking about it, share it here.* :smile2:
> 
> ...


This is a great thread idea! I'll be sure to make use of it sometime.


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## rabidfoxes (Apr 17, 2016)

Act to fall said:


> * *


I guessed right - so there, it's not just you


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## Act to fall (Apr 15, 2017)

rabidfoxes said:


> I guessed right - so there, it's not just you


Haha, thanks. Honestly idk how to improve though, the next four portraits I did were worse. I watch tons of youtube videos of portrait artists but I just can't do it.


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## rabidfoxes (Apr 17, 2016)

Act to fall said:


> Haha, thanks. Honestly idk how to improve though, the next four portraits I did were worse. I watch tons of youtube videos of portrait artists but I just can't do it.


Really, you can't see progress? Is your skill at the same point where it was, say, a year ago?


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## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

anyone started using paint 3d? (new thing in the free windows 10 creators update) I haven't started playing around with it yet. but this looks kinda useful.


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## Act to fall (Apr 15, 2017)

rabidfoxes said:


> Really, you can't see progress? Is your skill at the same point where it was, say, a year ago?












I mean, obviously there's progress, but I'm just not sure if I can actually get better. I feel like I may just fundamentally not understand drawing. This picture is wrong, but I don't know how to make it better. I could spend 100 more hours on this, it won't look better than it does now.


* *


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## rabidfoxes (Apr 17, 2016)

Act to fall said:


> I mean, obviously there's progress, but I'm just not sure if I can actually get better. I feel like I may just fundamentally not understand drawing. This picture is wrong, but I don't know how to make it better. I could spend 100 more hours on this, it won't look better than it does now.


Maybe if you were just working on this one, and couldn't figure out what it is that could be improved (my guess would be - less even and more carefully shaped ear/eyebrows, slight change in proportions - in photo face is longer than in your drawing when compared to neck, different shading to the face - but don't listen to me, I've been in a drawing class once and was told I was doing everything wrong ), but if you spent those 100 more hours working on various exercises and theory? Idk just sounds like the issue is actually you feeling discouraged rather than you being unable to get better at drawing.


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## AffinityWing (Aug 11, 2013)

I really want to write something on When The Seagulls Cry but I'm still waiting until I finish all the arcs, to do it. Though there might not be much of a problem since I'm already on Episode 7, but I'd like to use more aspects from the core mystery. It is a work of art that needs to be well understood, after all.


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

I wish i was creative at the moment to make music, depression got me on this one.
Might try to build something with some "forest samples", got a huge library, never used.
Thing is, while adding some more instruments and fx i will end up perfecting the mix and ruin the creativity part, like always.
I need to cool down on mixing and pre-mastering process.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I need to seriously learn this metal bands setlist in its entirety


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## Winds (Apr 17, 2011)

I'm tired of having a line in my head, but when I write it down its nothing like how I imagined it. But that's what life is like as a writer. Forever chasing ghost lines.


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## Rains (Jan 20, 2016)

Act to fall said:


> I mean, obviously there's progress, but I'm just not sure if I can actually get better. I feel like I may just fundamentally not understand drawing. This picture is wrong, but I don't know how to make it better. I could spend 100 more hours on this, it won't look better than it does now.





rabidfoxes said:


> my guess would be - less even and more carefully shaped ear/eyebrows, slight change in proportions - in photo face is longer than in your drawing when compared to neck, different shading to the face - but don't listen to me, I've been in a drawing class once and was told I was doing everything wrong


This. If you're going for a more realistic look, I'd tweak the proportions, and ramp up the shading. Shading is critical to giving an image depth and perspective (something I'm working on myself atm). It depends on your style though. If you're not going for realism then disregard. Some artists just draw and paint in a more flat way which can be just as eye catching.


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## Act to fall (Apr 15, 2017)

Rains said:


> This. If you're going for a more realistic look, I'd tweak the proportions, and ramp up the shading. Shading is critical to giving an image depth and perspective (something I'm working on myself atm). It depends on your style though. If you're not going for realism then disregard. Some artists just draw and paint in a more flat way which can be just as eye catching.


So I'm not trying to be extremely realistic, but my main thing is I want to get the likeness. I'm having a hard time grasping what I need to do to get the likeness. Realism obviously isn't the only way, since when you look at caricatures, those are completely unrealistic with inhuman proportions and yet you still immediately recognize who the drawing is.


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## Rains (Jan 20, 2016)

Act to fall said:


> So I'm not trying to be extremely realistic, but my main thing is I want to get the likeness. I'm having a hard time grasping what I need to do to get the likeness. Realism obviously isn't the only way, since when you look at caricatures, those are completely unrealistic with inhuman proportions and yet you still immediately recognize who the drawing is.


I see. That style exaggerates distinctive features so it's mostly about proportions. For instance, in that photo compared to the drawing, he has a more chiseled and angular jaw, the chin is longer and squared off, and he has more worried looking, goofy, downturned, longish eyebrows. Those are probably his most recognisable features. The less obvious ones are his lips... photo has a more pronounced cupids bow and the line of the mouth extends beyond actual lip on the sides of that makes sense. The nose you drew is fairly good but needs to be a tad wider, and sits slightly higher in his face. And with the nose pushed up that gives him a longer philtrum which is also more like the photo.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

Soldering thingymagig (sp?) super cheap coming from amazon so I can seal the stainless steel ring thungymagigs on my bracelets to make them officially proper (almost, should probably get some of that hardcore glue that probably causes cancer).

Had lost interest in them again, but I realised the other day I think they are actually quite good.

It sucks having a hobby that is almost incompatible with a neck that can't look down though.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Just trying to think of all the characters with (full) names who've appeared in my Minot storyline so far...

Dr. Katherine Applegate
Mandie Armstead
Mitchell Barnes, AKA Mitch
Roy Bennet
Reginald Boomgaard, AKA Reggie, AKA Boomslice
Chief Donald Bowen, AKA Don
Kyra Bowen
Mary Bowen
Zoe Bowen, AKA Zo, AKA Zo-zo
Stanley Brooks, AKA Stan
DA Shane Buchanan
Matthew Claasen, AKA Matt
Bryan Condry
Det. Beverly D'Arca, AKA Bev
Det. Samuel D'Arca, AKA Sammy
Officer Christine DelBora
Det. Chance Devetko, AKA Dev
Philip J. Falcon, AKA Phil
Dep. Tracy Hatcher, AKA Trace
Officer Stephen Hawthorne
Den Heikkinen
Det. Lorenzo Ingrisano, AKA Renz
Chad Jenner
Luke Jonas
Lt. Alan Kincaid, AKA Alan Connor, AKA Alan Doe, AKA Kinnie, AKA Kooky Kinnie
Sgt. Mark Halsey Kincaid
Christina Kristeva, AKA Chrissie
Dr. Ivan Kristeva
Det. Maxwell Sutherland Kristeva, AKA Max
Natalie Anne Kristeva, AKA Nat
Juliana Lockett, AKA July
Trooper Matteo Lopata, AKA Matt
Douglas Nyrkkanen, AKA Doug
Officer Raymond Passeno, AKA Ray
Ace Pauley
Brenda (Singer) Pierce
Det. Justin Daniel Reichert, AKA Reich, AKA JR
Krystall Rhoades
Nora Rhoades
Sean Rhoades
Sheriff Wayne Rhoades
Jason Stuart Rosedale, AKA Jay Campion, AKA Campy, AKA JJ/Jay-Jay
Det. Michelle Rosedale, AKA Mike
Dep. Kennard Scott, AKA Scott
Diana Shea
Officer Joseph Silvertree, AKA Joe
Officer Roger Sinclair
Cheryl Singer
Det. Wesley Todd Singer, AKA Wes, AKA Fox
Dr. Elias Steiner, AKA Eli
Det. Erica Tulie
Russell Whittaker, AKA Russ, AKA Miles

I know I'm forgetting a bunch. (For example, Campy's trans girlfriend Manuela, and Kristeva's mother, aren't included because they don't have full names yet. But ta-da, Dr. Steiner finally just got a first name.)

Yeah, I overdo it with characters, that's just my thing.


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## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

do I really need another pair of monitors? I have been eyeing up the current best the market has to offer for a modest price bracket. I sort of want to upgrade and I think the more reference points you have for your own work, the better picture you get for how it sounds. I also sort of like the idea of working with a different setup, just a fresh setup and it might prove inspiring in its own way. I do think there are probably things that need to come first in my studio though... maybe I might settle with a good pair of cans first.


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## Act to fall (Apr 15, 2017)

I'm not that interested in drawing anime, but I decided to start learning how to draw Kurapika, because he's so beautiful, and I want to draw him doing things that he isn't going to do in the anime :lol


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I have never wanted to play in a professional cover band but it would pay somewhat decently and I'm tired of low paying or back breaking regular jobs so I'm seriously thinking now is the time to try it


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

I'm writing! I got some ideas! _Yes!_ *insert frantic arm-waving emoji here*

ETA--HUNDREDTH POST! :yay


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## Sabk (Jun 15, 2017)

I'm thinking of drawing an elephant for a friend of mine, as it's her favorite animal. It's not as silly as it sounds.
Debating whether to use pencil-only or soft pastels.
Maybe mostly pencil and soft pastels for some colorful highlights?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Eh nuggets, I'm so close to finishing this scene but have run into a brick wall. :x


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Lololol the notes I just played using the virtual midi keyboard in Reaper spell out rip on my PC keyboard (wasn't intentional, realised afterwards when writing them down.) It's even funnier because I'm using Reaper.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

FINISHED! :yay No time to post the scene here tonight, though. ;_;

Perhaps it's best I lack readers, I find the story interesting, but I can't help but feel it's just going in circles and readers would be bored. :sigh


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

I'm just about convinced by now that Lt. Kincaid is an Aspie. :serious: Go figure that I recently tried to deliberately create a character with Asperger's when a different character has probably been there all along, I just figured his odd behavior had another cause.

Unfortunately, it'll have to remain "undiagnosed," since I don't think this diagnosis was in use yet, or else it had only just come into use, at the time of his rescue/therapy.

...

This reminds me of when I would take psychological/personality tests from Det. Kristeva's POV, and couldn't figure out why I kept coming out with two different personality types, every time. Well, I know why, now. :lol


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## 8888 (Oct 16, 2014)

I should pull out my watercolor paints and create something.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

8888 said:


> I should pull out my watercolor paints and create something.


I wish I had watercolor skills. They're beautiful and fun...but all I could ever do was abstract crap, colored blotches on the page. ops :lol

I tried a couple of landscapes once...but they were really childish and lame.


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## 8888 (Oct 16, 2014)

tehuti88 said:


> I wish I had watercolor skills. They're beautiful and fun...but all I could ever do was abstract crap, colored blotches on the page. ops
> 
> I tried a couple of landscapes once...but they were really childish and lame.


I'm better with acrylics myself.

Sent from my XT1526 using Tapatalk


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

:idea I was stuck on the latest part of my story (Dev and Kristeva are awkwardly discussing meeting Sheriff Rhoades) but while futilely trying to nap I think I got an idea! A little odd/implausible, but well, the entire story is implausible, yes? Anyway. Will have to work on that later.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

I like writing Sheriff Rhoades, for the same reason I like writing my sociopath characters. They're all a-holes. A-holes are fun to write. :lol


----------



## Nitrogen (Dec 24, 2012)

Still trying to come up with a background for my half-elf character in dnd. I used to love lore and creativity and coming up with stories on the spot, but now it's so difficult for me and I hate it.


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Finished another scene! :boogie But again, no time to post it here tonight. ;_;


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## Sabk (Jun 15, 2017)

Major procrastinating. Over the past two days, I've gotten a solid 45-min average on the drawing.


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## Nitrogen (Dec 24, 2012)

Trying to get back into drawing more again but as of late everything I've created has looked like ****, and I'm just not happy with the progression of my art. :/ I've been stuck in this block for months now, and I wish I could just... come out of it already.


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## zanemwarwick (Jun 18, 2017)

I love writing but I suck at it.

A dilemma pops up: to write or not to write.

To write - catharsis.

To not write - relief.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I need to start planning for teaching guitar again and see what tracks I've recorded but never mixed have enough to completed tracks


----------



## Paperback Writer (Feb 7, 2015)

_Me yesterday, attempting to write:_










I got about 500 words in before I decided it was terrible and threw it onto the pile of failures. At least I tried though. It had been a month or so since I even did that.


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## kivi (Dec 5, 2014)

I want to start hoop embroidery or cross stitch. I really need a hobby that can take my stress out and make me feel pleasant at the end.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

No writing at the moment but lots of weird background thinking about one of my characters, he's even slipping into my dreams. :um


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

This song has a riff that's a bit tough to to play on bass the way I want to at the quick pace required


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## forever in flux (Nov 26, 2016)

Canadian Brotha said:


> This song has a riff that's a bit tough to to play on bass the way I want to at the quick pace required


a job that slowly kills you, bruises that won't kill?


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

It's funny, all this time I've thought that I've been procrastinating too much in learning the songs for the band I've joined and then today on Facebook I see a post that says "we've got a new bass player that is learning the songs super quick"



forever in flux said:


> a job that slowly kills you, bruises that won't kill?


I'm not quite sure what you are asking me here, lol


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## nietzschemami (Jul 5, 2017)

Thinking about how i should do my math homework since i have a lot of it i need to do still  Lol


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## Winds (Apr 17, 2011)

Something about this seems off. May have to redo the whole thing or scrap it.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I need to look into artistic grants again


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Sitting down and messing with some of my older songs again is actually fun, I can tweak them a little bit or try vocal versions and see if I can find a way to sing and play them


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## uziq (Apr 9, 2012)

all of these facets of brilliance, but never all at once


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

A little attention to detail and I'll have an old(but newly mixed)track completed


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## cosmicslop (Nov 24, 2012)

There's no way the Renoir Sucks at Painting protests/IG weren't the efforts of The Onion. Can't believe I missed this when it happened 2 years ago.



> Renoir is a figurehead of the Impressionist movement, and Geller doesn't deny Impressionism's importance to art history. He just really, really hates Renoir. "If you were to take Renoir's word for it, trees would be nothing but a collection of disgusting, green, squiggly lines. But in reality, trees are beautiful. Renoir just sucks at painting," Geller states.





> "What a beautiful painting!" Geller shouted in front of a Monet. A Renoir nude came in for some serious criticism, by contrast. "This is just a sad painting. She's obviously dead. You can tell by the ligature marks on her neck."





> "Sharpies are for protest signs, not depicting children's eyes!"


I enjoy Renoir's "flipper hands" on his figures as Max Geller calls them though. A totally relatable thing to anyone who has tried to draw/paint/ hands.

----

Unrelated article from the Economist: 


> But performance art is most associated with the conceptualism of the 1960s and 1970s, in which the idea was more important than the execution. And New York has been the centre of modern performance since those grungy beginnings, when Vito Acconci notoriously masturbated, heard but unseen, for eight hours a day under a wooden ramp at the Sonnabend Gallery.












This is the kind of art I live for. Plus, "notoriously masturbated" is a great phrase.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I forgot this laptop has a dampener on the headphone jack which means using it to mix new tracks is a false lead, they won't turn out bad but there'll be that margin for improvement that I'm totally aware of now


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

I'd really like to rewrite _Minot_, not only to put it more in line with the story I'm now writing, but to just make it better since it sucks. (Especially the reveal at the end with Kinnie. Ugh it is so out of date and unbelievable it's ridiculous.) Plus I could put a lot more detail and maybe even backstory into it. (Not sure how, since Kinnie's backstory isn't known to any of the POV characters...except Kinnie when he's breaking down, and maybe Psyche Cooper, since she's, well, psychic...but anyway.)

I started rewriting _Lucifer_ a while back, got a good way through but didn't finish. Hope to pick it up again someday. But anyway, _Minot_. I would do such a better job now that I know a whole lot more about Kinnie and Jenner and the whole lot. Maybe I could even cameo Rhoades or some such? (No Kristeva, unfortunately, since he's not in the MPD yet. Was he in the Sheriff's Department? I think so, but I'm not sure.) Also, one of the other cops who briefly appears in the story is a bad guy (but this isn't revealed for years).

Thing is, I'm not so good at telling how good a job or not I'm doing with such things. I kind of wish I had a reader or two to help me through, give me motivation. When somebody besides myself is interested it motivates me more. One reason my motivation has been lacking for so long. :/


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

tehuti88 said:


> I'd really like to rewrite _Minot_, not only to put it more in line with the story I'm now writing, but to just make it better since it sucks. (Especially the reveal at the end with Kinnie. Ugh it is so out of date and unbelievable it's ridiculous.) Plus I could put a lot more detail and maybe even backstory into it. (Not sure how, since Kinnie's backstory isn't known to any of the POV characters...except Kinnie when he's breaking down, and maybe Psyche Cooper, since she's, well, psychic...but anyway.)
> 
> I started rewriting _Lucifer_ a while back, got a good way through but didn't finish. Hope to pick it up again someday. But anyway, _Minot_. I would do such a better job now that I know a whole lot more about Kinnie and Jenner and the whole lot. Maybe I could even cameo Rhoades or some such? (No Kristeva, unfortunately, since he's not in the MPD yet. Was he in the Sheriff's Department? I think so, but I'm not sure.) Also, one of the other cops who briefly appears in the story is a bad guy (but this isn't revealed for years).
> 
> Thing is, I'm not so good at telling how good a job or not I'm doing with such things. I kind of wish I had a reader or two to help me through, give me motivation. When somebody besides myself is interested it motivates me more. One reason my motivation has been lacking for so long. :/


I've never been good a critiquing writing, but I'll read whatever you've got.


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## Laurelles (Jun 28, 2017)

I'm planning a novel called "Four Pieces of Heaven" set during the Taiping Rebellion in China. The research is very time and energy consuming but extremely rewarding. Ostensibly, the novel will be about identity and how fragile and malleable our senses of identity are - the main issue is my laptop charging port has broken and so Ive got to wait a while for it to get fixed. My creativity comes in short bursts over a few days and then disappears for months so this is very frustrating.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I want to do some "jazz hop" renditions of a couple hip hop tracks. Busts Rhymes - Gimme Some Mo & KRS-One - Outta Here. Would be such fresh & fun jams to have/play


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## cosmicslop (Nov 24, 2012)

I love it when people try to demean modern and contemporary art by saying they could vomit on a plate or a splat paint on a canvas and call it art. Um, that's the point of art like that no matter how stupid it can be. Technical skill and craft is not the focus and is not meant to be seen from that context. 

And they say that they could bull**** any sort of meaning to that fake art they made, like it's such a revelation. You're bull****ting something that is already a form of art that's ambiguous. Of course someone can't tell the difference between what's fake and real if art is so subjective. But even a beautifully crafted painted could be explained with a bull**** meaning and convince the audience. Like that's why constant Breaking Bad theories birthed the "bravo Vince"meme because of the stuff people spewed. lol 

I'm not interested in making art like that but I'm glad other people do it. Honestly, I just love modern and contemporary art because it upsets people.


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## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

cosmicslop said:


> I love it when people try to demean modern and contemporary art by saying they could vomit on a plate or a splat paint on a canvas and call it art. Um, that's the point of art like that no matter how stupid it can be. Technical skill and craft is not the focus and is not meant to be seen from that context.
> 
> And they say that they could bull**** any sort of meaning to that fake art they made, like it's such a revelation. You're bull****ting something that is already a form of art that's ambiguous. Of course someone can't tell the difference between what's fake and real if art is so subjective. But even a beautifully crafted painted could be explained with a bull**** meaning and convince the audience. Like that's why constant Breaking Bad theories birthed the "bravo Vince"meme because of the stuff people spewed. lol
> 
> I'm not interested in making art like that but I'm glad other people do it. Honestly, I just love modern and contemporary art because it upsets people.


ha! yea, while I respect skuckism I dislike it when people try and write off conceptual or modern art in a very ignorant way and say they could do the same. if that were the case then the art world would be completely different! I don't think either expressions of art should be discredited, craftsmanship or imagination. people write off photo-realism and say well that takes no artistic skill, technical skill but no creative skill, I don't think they understand that composition and choice of subject are taken into account and can reflect on the overall themes and ideas, some photo-realism for example is very culturally evocative.


----------



## Laurelles (Jun 28, 2017)

cosmicslop said:


> I love it when people try to demean modern and contemporary art by saying they could vomit on a plate or a splat paint on a canvas and call it art. Um, that's the point of art like that no matter how stupid it can be. Technical skill and craft is not the focus and is not meant to be seen from that context.
> 
> And they say that they could bull**** any sort of meaning to that fake art they made, like it's such a revelation. You're bull****ting something that is already a form of art that's ambiguous. Of course someone can't tell the difference between what's fake and real if art is so subjective. But even a beautifully crafted painted could be explained with a bull**** meaning and convince the audience. Like that's why constant Breaking Bad theories birthed the "bravo Vince"meme because of the stuff people spewed. lol
> 
> I'm not interested in making art like that but I'm glad other people do it. Honestly, I just love modern and contemporary art because it upsets people.


:ditto

Art gatekeepers are the worst.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Sometimes as a musician(or any other type of artist) you write(or create) something that you just feel is at the pinnacle of your creative prowess, it just feels unbelievably good to ya


----------



## cosmicslop (Nov 24, 2012)

unemployment simulator said:


> ha! yea, while I respect skuckism I dislike it when people try and write off conceptual or modern art in a very ignorant way and say they could do the same. if that were the case then the art world would be completely different! I don't think either expressions of art should be discredited, craftsmanship or imagination. people write off photo-realism and say well that takes no artistic skill, technical skill but no creative skill, I don't think they understand that composition and choice of subject are taken into account and can reflect on the overall themes and ideas, some photo-realism for example is very culturally evocative.


That's true. The funny thing about visual arts is that there's more than what meets the eye, immediately at least. The ideas, themes, composition, like you said are what people don't take account. Thinking about an artist's intentions and having some historical context can help. But they'll just judge it by what they see right off the bat. People want to to be dismissive of other types of art just because it doesn't suit their preferences. And that can be just about the most boring discussion point you can have with art.

I hear people say that kind of stuff about phtorealism, by writing of by simply saying a real camera might as well make he picture for you But I would love to go to a gallery and see some Chuck Close portraits in person, especially with that large scale he uses for his pieces. To see how a guy who couldn't see faces could do that just by using a grid.


----------



## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

cosmicslop said:


> That's true. The funny thing about visual arts is that there's more than what meets the eye, immediately at least. The ideas, themes, composition, like you said are what people don't take account. Thinking about an artist's intentions and having some historical context can help. But they'll just judge it by what they see right off the bat. People want to to be dismissive of other types of art just because it doesn't suit their preferences. And that can be just about the most boring discussion point you can have with art.
> 
> I hear people say that kind of stuff about phtorealism, by writing of by simply saying a real camera might as well make he picture for you But I would love to go to a gallery and see some Chuck Close portraits in person, especially with that large scale he uses for his pieces. To see how a guy who couldn't see faces could do that just by using a grid.


yea, chuck close is amazing, love his work. one of the artists who got me into photo-realism.


----------



## Paperback Writer (Feb 7, 2015)

I was finishing off the lyrics to one song, and then another one just came out, fully formed.

It's like unexpectedly giving birth to twins.


----------



## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

It's like everytime I finally save enough money to buy just one new pedal, I plan on buying another fuzz or delay so I can stack multiple similar effects. And then as soon as I watch demos to select which box I need, some electronics company always has to release a new reverb. My mind is telling me that I already have enough reverb pedals, but my ears are telling me that I don't have enough. ****. The amount of effects I would buy had I possessed a few thousand in my account. Being a shoegazer is expensive.


----------



## Mc Borg (Jan 4, 2008)

acidicwithpanic said:


> Being a shoegazer is expensive.


:grin2:

I need to force myself to learn a new song on the piano. I've been severely neglecting it.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

An electric upright contrabass would be the ultimate bass to record and perform my music with


----------



## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

wouldn't mind writing a song called "IDS murder scum", in fact i've got a lot of ideas for channeling a bunch of political work. just can't figure out the format and delivery at the moment.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I need to stop fussing over a perfect performance and just go out to an open stage and see how I do. Either I'll crash & burn, or it'll be a so/so performance or I'll ace it. No matter the outcome I need to know how I'll after all of those scenarios performing my own music


----------



## Polar (Dec 16, 2006)

Could I produce power like windmills from fidget spinners? I'm thinking, in series of like 20 spinners. How would I keep them going? With a pendulum. When the spinners stop, the pendulum would give the first one a kick to start up all in the series. When the pendulum stops, a spinner would give it a kick, restarting the whole process. If they both stop, sacrifice some of the power of the aggregate (that would store the energy), wired to the pendulum to get them started again.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Joining his cover band will require more discipline than I previously thught


----------



## Laurelles (Jun 28, 2017)

I have a great idea for a film but I need a millionaire benefactor


----------



## Chevy396 (Jul 10, 2017)

How I can be creative about the way my next business will be ran. Whether it should be non-profit or for-profit. I think non-profit might be more successful and I can live with giving myself a salary. Hopefully I'll be able to.


----------



## Winds (Apr 17, 2011)

Our words really are a collection of our experiences. Even the small mundane ones like the sound of tree leaves dancing in the wind.


----------



## SparklingWater (Jan 16, 2013)

I wrote so many songs when I was younger and have a whole bunch of snippets on sound recorder. time to put it together and actually finish it and record.


----------



## 8888 (Oct 16, 2014)

I was thinking how I used to like printmaking. I wonder if there are any printmaking classes in my area. I took one once but it was for teens, I wonder if there are adult ones.


----------



## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

Laurelles said:


> I have a great idea for a film but I need a millionaire benefactor


Start a porn movie, much cheaper lol.


----------



## Paperback Writer (Feb 7, 2015)

Sometimes I wish I didn't have the desire to write. I hate having ideas I like but that I'm literally unable to put into words.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I need to make a ton of guitar videos


----------



## cinto (Jun 19, 2017)

Similar to what someone mentioned up top, I have many ideas and sometimes I'll write them down but I wasn't blessed with the ability to beautifully convey the messages. 

I do still write lyrics to songs from time to time. I've written a few intro to songs but don't finish them. One song I wrote was about highways, just because there are so many highways in America and when you're riding on a highway you see all these other people with lives and families sharing the road


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I need to make a solo guitar/guitar duet album


----------



## SunshineSam218 (Dec 6, 2013)

I'm working on a poem as of right now. There's things coming to my mind. I love when I get inspiration like this. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

I really miss having art friends. I've been trying for years to meet people and make friendships or join friend groups like I did multiple times before but it just doesn't stick anymore. It's most likely me but even when I approach people they don't seem to bite or be the type of person I'm looking for I guess. I think I'm also at the age where people are moving on to more serious stuff, career related or just more serious pieces. Like my sister for example, I don't feel like I connect with her as much about it because she takes her stuff so seriously now. Sigh, idk. I just really miss those friendships it was really fun to draw together and make each other laugh and also really fulfilling because we motivated and challenged each other, even if all we drew was silly ****.


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

roxslide said:


> I really miss having art friends. I've been trying for years to meet people and make friendships or join friend groups like I did multiple times before but it just doesn't stick anymore. It's most likely me but even when I approach people they don't seem to bite or be the type of person I'm looking for I guess. I think I'm also at the age where people are moving on to more serious stuff, career related or just more serious pieces. Like my sister for example, I don't feel like I connect with her as much about it because she takes her stuff so seriously now. Sigh, idk. *I just really miss those friendships it was really fun to draw together and make each other laugh and also really fulfilling because we motivated and challenged each other, even if all we drew was silly ****.*


I miss this too, except in regards to writing. Every other writer takes everything so seriously. I just want to do this for the enjoyment of it, with somebody else who enjoys it too. :sigh

And @*novalax* , that's part of why I never replied to you (and why I've avoided this thread). I'm not so much looking for critique as I'm looking for somebody who's just interested in what I'm into and could provide feedback in addition to that...I don't want to burden anyone with reading my stuff if they're really not interested in it. (The story in question is rather weird, part of a series, and would probably make zero sense on its own, anyway.)

Plus I haven't yet worked up any motivation to work on it as it is, and probably won't for a good long while, if ever. Sorry. ops


----------



## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

tehuti88 said:


> I miss this too, except in regards to writing. Every other writer takes everything so seriously. I just want to do this for the enjoyment of it, with somebody else who enjoys it too. :sigh
> 
> And @*novalax* , that's part of why I never replied to you (and why I've avoided this thread). I'm not so much looking for critique as I'm looking for somebody who's just interested in what I'm into and could provide feedback in addition to that...I don't want to burden anyone with reading my stuff if they're really not interested in it. (The story in question is rather weird, part of a series, and would probably make zero sense on its own, anyway.)
> 
> Plus I haven't yet worked up any motivation to work on it as it is, and probably won't for a good long while, if ever. Sorry. ops


Yeah I guess that's an issue just being a hobbyist in a field saturated with professionals or hopeful professionals.

I don't really write (not for a long time, anyway) but I have had friends into writing too and it was really exciting plotting or discussing story lines with them. I still read a lot of amateur writing like fanfic/original stories/web comics I hope this doesn't make you too upset but maybe I will give yours a try when I get the time. If it does please carry on.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

@tehuti88

Yes, we are the comedy duo.  :grin2:


----------



## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

i'm not liking the sound of the roland se 02. sorry roland, I know you are going analog again and that's cool ,but you haven't sold me on this.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I need to start practicing with a metronome


----------



## Kandice (Jan 26, 2017)

I need to find another job before October


----------



## Paperback Writer (Feb 7, 2015)

It should be a library instead of a police station.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Jazz standards & new scales, jazz standards & new scales, jazz standards & new scales


----------



## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

I wanna take up drawing and visual art, but I know that would be such a masochist thing to do that would only end in frustration and pain. sospiro ~


----------



## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

I'm learning to play guitar! kind of.... not really...

I just picked up my little brother's guitar and am trying to teach myself a song but I'm so bad it hurts lol. The problem is I'm a lefty so I think I need to change the strings or something but I can't b/c it's my brother's guitar. When I pretend to play the guitar with my hands switched it feels better idk.

Maybe I should just stick to piano lol.


----------



## CaseyB (Oct 4, 2016)

That I've been on here for several hours now when I should really be off working on character designs and promoting my art. I'm just not motivated today :/


----------



## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

It seems like the only gigs I can get nowadays require me to play more pop music. While I like listening to pop music, performing it is another story. Give me a catchy tune with a nice beat and I'm dancing until I pass out, but give me sheet music to perform the same song and I'm dying of its repetitive boredom. Repeat this section 8x, repeat this other section 16x, and the fastest notes are only 8th notes. Oh, and good luck trying to find a piece that contains a C6 or above, (unless you're Mariah Carey).


----------



## May19 (Apr 25, 2012)

Thinking about trying to learn jazz so I can try to some improv but at the same time, I feel like you have to be crazy talented to do that.


----------



## Ghst (Jul 30, 2017)

Drawing again


----------



## Steve French (Sep 17, 2012)

Been feeling a bit inspired lately. In life and otherwise. By god, I actually sat down and wrote something today, and it wasn't that bad. I tried this idea I've been toying around with for a while. Writing the end of the story at the start. It was a bit stimulating. Experimenting usually helps me get the words down. Not sure if it helps the end product though. Might try an epistolary.


----------



## cosmicslop (Nov 24, 2012)

That Accidental Renaissance subreddit is one of my favorite things I've seen recently on the internet.


----------



## Arbre (Mar 9, 2014)

roxslide said:


> I'm learning to play guitar! kind of.... not really...
> 
> I just picked up my little brother's guitar and am trying to teach myself a song but I'm so bad it hurts lol. The problem is I'm a lefty so I think I need to change the strings or something but I can't b/c it's my brother's guitar. When I pretend to play the guitar with my hands switched it feels better idk.
> 
> Maybe I should just stick to piano lol.


I found guitar difficult to learn. If you do play it left-handed you would need the strings switched, but I'm not sure if that would work. You might need a left-handed guitar.


----------



## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

Really need to start working on the graphic novels again. Or the stories. Or the cross-stitch. Or the drawings. Guh, I had this plan that I was going to be so damn creative, three weeks alone, perfect. And so far... not a damn thing to show for it.


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

cosmicslop said:


> That Accidental Renaissance subreddit is one of my favorite things I've seen recently on the internet.


*Googles*

What an odd and interesting concept.










:lol


----------



## cosmicslop (Nov 24, 2012)

@tehuti88

Yeah, it is. There are seriously some great ones. The subreddit has like 280k subscribers so I can't believe I didn't know it existed until recently.

I always thought this scene in a Kanye/Zach Galifianakis music video looked like a painting. It's more Accidental Impressionism though.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I need to write/adapt endings for a few songs when performing them solo


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I need to start running these songs daily and get tight for the song structure playing solo


----------



## Marakunda (Jun 7, 2011)

This probably isn't a big deal to most of the creative types here but, I've been drawing regularly for over a month now. Feels good. 
I never really could keep it regular. It's a challenge for sure and I don't really feel like I'm making much progress, but it'll be worth it. I want to be an artist. 
It's been helping my mood, and I feel a lot less depressed. I actually have something to work towards.

Still working on thinking in 3D, and drawing/scribbling real fast to sort of work out the "form" first. After that, the accuracy will come. 
I got to the point where I can quickly draw a couple (outlines at least lol) of rough bodies in 5-10 minutes.

Also been keeping a dream diary for a couple weeks and feel like my writing will improve if I keep it up.
I will keep this up this time. And I will improve.


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Been working on some of my smutty writing (though it has plot!). 'Tis all. ops



Marakunda said:


> This probably isn't a big deal to most of the creative types here but, I've been drawing regularly for over a month now. Feels good.
> I never really could keep it regular. It's a challenge for sure and I don't really feel like I'm making much progress, but it'll be worth it. I want to be an artist.
> It's been helping my mood, and I feel a lot less depressed. I actually have something to work towards.


I keep meaning to get back into drawing. Haven't made time for it yet, though. I'm the type who gets frustrated if it's not going right within like a half hour. :/



> Also been keeping a dream diary for a couple weeks and feel like my writing will improve if I keep it up.
> I will keep this up this time. And I will improve.


Dream journals are awesome. :clap


----------



## SunshineSam218 (Dec 6, 2013)

As I get older, I'm beginning to really appreciate my childhood and the way things used to be. I have such a visual memory that sometimes it sort of creeps me out. Once I remember I was with my family and I was watching the fireworks and seeing all the gorgeous colors. As I was looking at them, my brother was scared off by the sounds and I remember giving him a hug. The whole crowd I remember clapping and cheering off into the distance and that moment sort of stuck with me because we were all together as a family. Watching the pretty fireworks and comforting my brother. 

Lately I've been using my visual memory and putting it into art. I'm not perfect when it comes to art. Sort of just create art as it comes to me.


----------



## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

I want to finish writing my comic script before October 4th but I don't think I will finish on time: ( It would be a rush. I'm thinking about extending the date to my birthday. November 5th. I should be finished before then but I was hoping to finish before October 4th because that day will make it a year since I started writing the comic.


----------



## kivi (Dec 5, 2014)

Most of my works of last year look so lame. I can't look at them without feeling embarrassed. I hope I'll be more creative and orderly now on.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Not quite sure why I can’t get my playing tight until I’ve run the tracks a couple times. More practice is needed for sure


----------



## slyfox (Nov 18, 2007)

Last night I tried to pit fire some clay pieces I made. It was a huge failure. Out of 12 pieces I made I'm only sure 2 survived  Most exploded in the fire. There are 2-3 small pieces unaccounted for but they are probably destroyed as well. Some had over a week to dry so I think it was more thermal shock than not being dry enough. 

I started the fire slowly away from the ceramics, but towards the end I sped things up more. I also let fire touch the ceramics when it finally reached them. I'm guessing that was probably wrong and I should've just surrounded them with the hot coals after the fire died down.

I didn't have this much failure when I used a cooking grill in the past to fire them. A farm I visit around Halloween for corn mazes, etc has a man that teaches about Native American crafts, etc. He had something he pit fired last year, so maybe if I see him again and he isn't busy I'll ask him for advice.

Wish I could get a real kiln but they are really expensive and I don't think I have the skills to make good wood fired one. Frustrating losing so many clay pieces but it is still a a lot cheaper than getting a $3,000 kiln. There are kilns around $700 but they have a really small interior.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Ran some ideas for our show by the band but they didn’t take. C’est la vie. Still more of a hired gun at this point


----------



## kivi (Dec 5, 2014)

I'm about the give up on my major and it's the beginning of the semester. I'm too coward to do creative things and I don't know how to "sell" myself about my works. I feel very depressed. I should've chosen something more scientific. I can't continue this.


----------



## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

I am thinking about how I did not meet my finished date of writing my comic script the other day. It made it a year on Oct. 4th. I finished the first 1-7 chapters. My 8-something is incomplete. I could of had 2 story arc. in one year like my other comic story script I wrote. 

Well I extended the finish date to Nov. 5th. My birthday. Defiantly I should be finished before then. If anything me writing something is progress. I basically wrote a whole book.....or volume script within a year. 2 for one comic and 1 and a half for the other comic. 

Not B.A D for me starting.


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

kivi said:


> I'm about the give up on my major and it's the beginning of the semester. I'm too coward to do creative things and I don't know how to "sell" myself about my works. I feel very depressed. I should've chosen something more scientific. I can't continue this.


:squeeze


----------



## kivi (Dec 5, 2014)

tehuti88 said:


> :squeeze


Thank you 
I feel slightly more confident about this now because of my latest class.


----------



## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

That letgo app is my now go-to. People are selling their nice guitar pedals, pedal board supplies, and instruments for cheap, so I can finally get my hands on some juicy experimentation without the guilt of spending too much.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

There’s work to be done before the gig next month for sure


----------



## Shredder (Apr 19, 2011)

Canadian Brotha said:


> Ran some ideas for our show by the band but they didn't take. C'est la vie. Still more of a hired gun at this point


Damn that's gotta be tough. I'm freaking out at just the thought of putting ideas out there for people to critique. You are a warrior! I just gotta say I felt inspired by some of your posts recently and the way you are putting yourself out there. I got out a couple of weeks ago and put one of my guitars on consignment so I can get a bass (which I bought on the day) I got all impulsive and also bought a weeping demon wha pedal. It must be the first time in about 5 years I've been into a guitar shop. It felt pretty good  Anyway just wanted to let you know because it was your posts that was the catalyst.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Shredder said:


> Damn that's gotta be tough. I'm freaking out at just the thought of putting ideas out there for people to critique. You are a warrior! I just gotta say I felt inspired by some of your posts recently and the way you are putting yourself out there. I got out a couple of weeks ago and put one of my guitars on consignment so I can get a bass (which I bought on the day) I got all impulsive and also bought a weeping demon wha pedal. It must be the first time in about 5 years I've been into a guitar shop. It felt pretty good  Anyway just wanted to let you know because it was your posts that was the catalyst.


I'm glad I've got you shopping for gear man! haha. My gear plans are still fluid/fluctuating...I'll blog about it sooner or later


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I’m not confident in these lyrics but I do like singing them


----------



## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

will I ever get this album finished? I was supposed to do this as a project for the summer...


----------



## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Found out that my former stand partner in middle school is now a registered sex offender. 

(This was also the same guy that poked my eye with his bow in the middle of a Star Wars theme performance.) Guy was a talented musician, so that's a shame...


----------



## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

I'm thinking about how cool my clip art cover page for my Facebook look: )
I may not have drew each clip art image but each image I took and built a really cool picture. 

I made this one 2 months ago. I made a winter cover page yesterday. These cover page are for my "Lets Write And Doodle!" Facebook page.


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

An old episode of _Law & Order_ tonight featured Briscoe and Green in a spat with each other and coming close to quitting as partners. Made me think of Kristeva and Devetko in my current WIP and how it didn't start out much differently with them--basically they hated each other's guts.  And finally I felt a little bit of inspiration about the next turn in the meandering story.

Notes to self:


* *





Deskwork, notes, "I can't hold on to it if you're not interested," "You're not the first person to have a problem with me, and you definitely won't be the last," "You were a lot more fun when you were honest," investigation technique, "You said you can use the printer to blow s*** up...?"


----------



## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

I very rarely have solid writing ideas, but I came up with one that I thought was pretty good. I've been working on it, chipping away at all the rough edges, making sure the storyline and the history actually made sense and worked.

Tonight I read a story that contains elements that are very similar to my idea, and their version is more plausible and more intriguing. Goddammit.

(On an different note, I've actually started writing a m/m story, and a m/f from both POVs. For some reason I've always shied away from writing from a male perspective, but it's too hot to pass up now)


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Rewriting my song lyrics has gone well the past 2 days


----------



## Paperback Writer (Feb 7, 2015)

The dialogue feels a bit too contrived, but at least I'm actually trying to write again. It's been a while.


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

TheWelshOne said:


> (On an different note, I've actually started writing *a m/m story*, and a m/f from both POVs. *For some reason I've always shied away from writing from a male perspective, but it's too hot to pass up now*)


Sounds interesting. :love2


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Singing is tough & requires constant practicing like learning/speaking a language


----------



## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

tehuti88 said:


> Sounds interesting. :love2


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Learning new video editing software is a process


----------



## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

Some of the musical tidbits I’ve posted on my blog I completely forgot how to play lol, I’m gonna have to learn them again as if they were somebody else’s song.

On one of them, I played some slow arpeggios so I could later figure out what chords I was using, dunno why I didn’t do the same for the second one.


----------



## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

My bro took his acoustic up to UF, but now this gives me a reason to get an electric guitar again!


----------



## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Sigh, I hold artistry/creativity so close to my identity but I haven't had a creative thought or sat down to do anything creative hardly at all recently. What little I do now seems to be extremely canned or derivative as well. Seems kind of pathetic or almost delusional at this point to still think of myself as an artist.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I filmed this take of one of my tunes and there are some minor mistakes as per usual but what really bothers me is that when I'm singing I have this horrible habit of swallowing or smacking my lips before a verse and it's very audible and makes cringe. It is only a practice take so I could post that and note it but at the same time yuck. Should probably just post it as exposure anyway


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

TheWelshOne said:


>












...

More notes to self!


* *





Kind of a stretch, but faster/better access to state database; piano/horse dream; "There's something you forgot to dig up"; Sinclair?; pics


----------



## riverbird (Mar 30, 2016)

Thinking about updating the plot to a novel I started writing for NaNoWriMo in 2009 so that I can use my two favorite characters and finish their love story in some way, even if it wasn't their original story. But I'd most likely be yanking them out of the 1950's and into present time, which makes me sad. The 1950's charm is what made me fall in love with the original idea, but that storyline is so depressing looking back on it now. Hmm.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I need that audio interface so bad


----------



## riverbird (Mar 30, 2016)

I wish the vision I have in my head would cooperate and transfer to Photoshop. This isn't working!


----------



## Virgo (Jun 27, 2016)

roxslide said:


> Sigh, I hold artistry/creativity so close to my identity but I haven't had a creative thought or sat down to do anything creative hardly at all recently. What little I do now seems to be extremely canned or derivative as well. Seems kind of pathetic or almost delusional at this point to still think of myself as an artist.


I completely understand where you're coming from. I feel the same. However, despite the long breaks, or times where you feel like putting minimal effort into something, you will always be inherently creative and at least maintain appreciation for the arts. It's just something you have in you. Take breaks that you need, you can always go back to it at another point in your life.

I need a new drawing tablet! Mine isn't broken, but it totally sucks and I fight with it all the time getting it to work. It's just very outdated at this point.


----------



## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

Canadian Brotha said:


> I need that audio interface so bad


Which one ?


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Overdrive said:


> Which one ?


Nothing fancy, just something to work with again


----------



## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

Canadian Brotha said:


> Nothing fancy, just something to work with again


Alright.


----------



## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

I'm thinking about writing a new poem story for my Tales of Horror series. The thought and the first few lines just hit me after I woke up this morning. LOL. I said: "Hey this make a good poem!" 
Ha Ha Ha.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Signal chains, I want to experiment with signal chains, next week needs to hurry up


----------



## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

Basil Bunting's advice for poets


----------



## Steve French (Sep 17, 2012)

I should write comedies. You can get away with so much just by passing it off as a joke, surrounding it with humour, or actually making a terrible joke, especially if it's self-deprecating.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

So if I play the track on the CD in the stereo, run from the stereo out into the mixer, & from the mixer into my DAW in theory I should be able to get copies of these old demos on my laptop despite not having an optical drive in it. Signal chains...


----------



## Winds (Apr 17, 2011)

Limit the labels and the lines and embrace the fact that it can't be easily defined.


----------



## 8888 (Oct 16, 2014)

I found these plastic brushes which are meant for washing one's face but I bought them for painting. They are textured so I think they will be interesting for abstract art.


----------



## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

Trying to write poetry is even worse than making music - rarely satisfying, often tiring and headache-inducing.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Knowing when to swallow so you don’t get saliva build up while singing as well as knowing when to take a breath so you can hold notes is truly an art in itself


----------



## Steve French (Sep 17, 2012)

My teacher told me that I was the best dialogue writer she had seen in her fifteen years of teaching. Here I always thought I was terrible. But in this one I stole some **** straight out of real life. There is a huge disconnect though. You notice there's never any random tangents or a bunch of "uhs" in literature conversation.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I need to rehearse these tracks for a few hours before tomorrow’s recording session


----------



## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

I have a few ideas for songs that I'm going to start working on and already have one that I just need to record. I'm also thinking about writing a screenplay.


----------



## Steve French (Sep 17, 2012)

I am terribly afraid of being mediocre. It makes me want to avoid trying. I mean, I have had nothing but positive responses from the safe people I've showed my stuff too. Glowing responses even. Still, putting it out there terrifies me. I have this casual arrogance about my abilities that I can't have taken down a peg.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

$50 more would’ve got me the same mixer with built in effects, live & learn


----------



## kivi (Dec 5, 2014)

For a few weeks, we have been doing analyses of early 20th century houses which were built by famous architects. There're ~20 houses from different architects and I got Villa Savoye (I didn't choose it) and I unfortunately made a horrible presentation in the first week but now we have to make an analyse board which is 70cm x 100cm (I have never prepared something on a paper as huge as this  ) and have to make presentations again. I'm anxious. It's until Monday and I didn't start.


----------



## Rains (Jan 20, 2016)

Steve French said:


> I am terribly afraid of being mediocre. It makes me want to avoid trying. I mean, I have had nothing but positive responses from the safe people I've showed my stuff too. Glowing responses even. Still, putting it out there terrifies me. I have this casual arrogance about my abilities that I can't have taken down a peg.


Actually it's good to be arrogant. The most successful artists tend to be narcissists. That means if someone doesn't like your art it's because they don't get it.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Productive eve musically. Ran a couple of the bands tracks a few times in prep for Sunday and then got in a good hour of singing/playing practice too. Recorded it as well so can listen back and see where I can improve. Video footage didn't turn out but can't win em all


----------



## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

when you can't find the music you would really like to listen to, the more productive option would be to make the music yourself.


----------



## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

I want to write a whimsical poem about fairy-type Pokemon, basically something like what Yeats did with Irish folklore. I was gonna complain about my almost complete lack of ability but I remembered that I did type out some ideas for it a while back. It's full of references to things specfically from Pokemon X/Y so that limits the audience for it unfortunately :\


----------



## Lohikaarme (Aug 28, 2013)




----------



## Wren611 (Oct 19, 2012)

Lohikaarme said:


>


Pretty much what I came here to say.

Guess I don't need to now.


----------



## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

unemployment simulator said:


> when you can't find the music you would really like to listen to, the more productive option would be to make the music yourself.


You made some new trax recently ?


----------



## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

Overdrive said:


> You made some new trax recently ?


not yet, I can't decide if I want to sell some gear to fund a new purchase or not?


----------



## Lohikaarme (Aug 28, 2013)

Wren611 said:


> Pretty much what I came here to say.
> 
> Guess I don't need to now.


Glad to have been of service :grin2:


----------



## Johnny Walker (Mar 10, 2017)

I don't care


----------



## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

unemployment simulator said:


> not yet, I can't decide if I want to sell some gear to fund a new purchase or not?


https://www.facebook.com/groups/synthesizer.freaks/

https://www.facebook.com/groups/207294059467806/

You know those groups on fb ?


----------



## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

Overdrive said:


> https://www.facebook.com/groups/synthesizer.freaks/
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/groups/207294059467806/
> 
> You know those groups on fb ?


ah can't access them mate, not on the facebooks. how are things going for you music wise at the mo? got any new techno tracks done?


----------



## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

unemployment simulator said:


> ah can't access them mate, not on the facebooks. how are things going for you music wise at the mo? got any new techno tracks done?


Alright, no problem.

Haven't touched synths and ableton for 2months now, i don't really know what to produce atm.

There's this track i made with the guy i usually collab :


----------



## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

Overdrive said:


> Alright, no problem.
> 
> Haven't touched synths and ableton for 2months now, i don't really know what to produce atm.
> 
> ...


really nice! get it sent to some labels man if its not already signed.


----------



## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

unemployment simulator said:


> really nice! get it sent to some labels man if its not already signed.


We haven't done that yet, thx mate


----------



## Lohikaarme (Aug 28, 2013)

There is no such thing as parthenogenesis when it comes to creative pursuits


----------



## Steve French (Sep 17, 2012)

I was thinking about dystopias, ya know, maybe writing one. And every idea I had had this major flaw. They were too contemporary. Says something about how questionable I find the current state of things, but I digress. The best dystopias, for me are the ones that were quite prescient, ones that I come to many years after publication and notice disturbing parallels with the modern day. So to write something that isn't topical but seems prophetic many moons later, so it probably has a mediocre reception and is rediscovered down the line as a classic. That's the ticket. Unfortunately I was never much of a Nostradamus. So I think it has to be the Orwell method. Take influence from something that is currently going on or recently went on, that may become commonplace in a few decades. It might be a coin flip.


----------



## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

I’ve been practicing guitar a lot lately even tho I barely have the attention span to listen to a whole song.


----------



## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

My baby nieces and nephews really seem to like when I sing lullabies. I wonder if I could make up my own?


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I'm just going to lay down bass takes at home, I can do it, I have the time to do it, & we're wasting time trying to schedule sessions with mismatched calendars


----------



## Lohikaarme (Aug 28, 2013)

_"You possess the ability to access the exact date and location of any photo of your choosing, the catch being that it's a one-way trip. You're a nomad at heart, have nothing left to live for in the present and you're aware at some point you're inevitably going to get stuck somewhere in the 19th century but you're okay with that. Using people's personal photos is frowned upon so you usually stick to landscapes or postcard landmarks. What better way to see the world, plus it's free! Until now you thought you could only travel to the past but one day you unknowingly transport yourself inside a photograph taken by another time traveler, years in the future--where you discover that traveling via photographs has long been outlawed.

Who was the mysterious time traveler and why did they leave the photo for you to find?"_


----------



## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

Working on a remix constest that happens on the 24th on a Techno group, structure is finished, sidechain done, i might change some automations eventually.
Last thing to do is the mixing and mastering, i might change the way i do the mixing usually because i'm gonna run the track thru the reel to reel. 
It adds a lot of harmonics, i might rework the mid/high frequency side before reccording with the reel to reel.


----------



## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

I’m practicing trumpet for the first time in months. I can still play the first few notes somewhat consistently, everything else is a mess. So nothing has changed really!


----------



## Lohikaarme (Aug 28, 2013)

A serial killer who only goes after other serial killers.

♫the hunter becomes the hunted♫


----------



## thinkstoomuch103 (Nov 28, 2017)

this house is big, but the walls are not insulated..

The walls are mostly exterior types, which means, there really isn't much barrier/insulation between these walls and the cold outside.


----------



## thinkstoomuch103 (Nov 28, 2017)

Whelp!

I wondered why i had that diabetic incident.. Those "no sugar added brownies" are basically sugar..

When marketing reps use the words No Sugar Added, versus "Sugar Free".. this means, anyone who's a diabetic, should stay away from it.

There IS sugar added..

Polydextrose, sucrose, sucralose, and hydrogenated starch - are derivatives of sugar.

Regardless of what the marketing rep's wording? A diabetic incident is a reality..


----------



## thinkstoomuch103 (Nov 28, 2017)

I don't care for "spin doctors"..

but when people's lives are at stake, words can't change a situation..

Nor gaining "talking points"..

So damn weird..

Yeah, we had a nuclear war, but the president actually didn't "push" the button, he just "nudged it a little"..


----------



## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

unemployment simulator said:


> really nice! get it sent to some labels man if its not already signed.


Well it got signed by a label , they are sending it for mastering. This will be released on VA vinyl compilation.


----------



## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

Overdrive said:


> Well it got signed by a label , they are sending it for mastering. This will be released on VA vinyl compilation.


:clap

superb stuff,great news mate (this should go in the achievements thread) :yes


----------



## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

unemployment simulator said:


> :clap
> 
> superb stuff,great news mate (this should go in the achievements thread) :yes


----------



## Wontbehereforlong4356 (Jan 22, 2018)

How to create nontraditional heroes without them acting like the Punisher.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I need to lay down shorts of all these random song ideas so I don’t forget them


----------



## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

PaulXStretch plugin is now free to download :

https://xenakios.wordpress.com/paulxstretch-plugin/

Windows 64 bit VST2, for Windows 7 or newer :
https://goo.gl/YwJ4qB
Mac Os 64 bit VST2 and AudioUnit, for OS-X 10.9 or newer :
https://goo.gl/XSWBrS
No Linux build yet, but will appear at some point. Support for 32 bit, Windows XP/Vista and old Mac OS-X versions is not in the plans.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Seems odd you have the expensive Mac PC, decent monitors, & the official Cubase program yet a bit of cut/paste editing of recordings confounds you


----------



## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

Ending my existence... ._.

EDIT: Just saw the "creative edition" part, but the way I would do it is creative so I hope it counts.(?)


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I liked that take but the focus didn’t work so it’s useless unless I can find some kind of filter to make it visually intriguing without clarity


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Hello, my old thread.

Haven't been up to anything lately since it sucks not having any audience. :sigh Have had thoughts of submitting to that drawing-a-day subreddit, though. Someplace where I could show off a bit and not expect to be lambasted with criticism or outright ignored in response. The thing is, I can never find a time of day at which I feel like drawing, and I'm shy to do it in front of my parents, and I'm not sure if my tablet could take a decent pic of a drawing. (Tried doodling on the tablet itself but for some reason I really suck at it, even with a stylus.)

(And go figure, a recent theme was "Wendigo." Of course I would miss that one. I seem to have forgotten how to draw my own Wendigoes, though... :sigh )

There was this lady who posted a pic of herself in cosplay or something in a different drawing sub recently and I was so inspired, I tried to draw her in my own style since she looks like she could be from one of my stories, but I couldn't get it right. She was so beautiful, let me see if I can find her.










__
https://www.reddit.com/r/redditgetsdrawn/comments/7wvwof

So discouraged that I can't draw people the way I imagine them, no matter how much I try over.  I even looked up some YouTube videos on how to draw and I was mostly doing it right, I just suck is all. -_-

There's a writing prompt sub too, but I can never seem to do well with those either, unfortunately.


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

> I spent a good deal of time mulling over what instrument Kristeva would use to break the sideview mirror. Pick something up randomly from the sidewalk? A tree branch? Something somebody was selling? His bare fist? What? Nothing sounded feasible. :/ Then while writing this scene tonight I remembered the umbrella Devetko's been carrying with him all along, even long before this scene popped into my mind, the umbrella I've mentioned repeatedly for no obvious reason. And voila.
> 
> Funny how these things work.


--comment


* *





Devetko: "An umbrella...? Are you serious?"

Page: "I know you're not the romantic type who likes to walk around in the rain, getting all wet...you're practical. Rational. Down to earth...sort of like this." (pause) "I know it sounds kind of stupid when I put it that way..."

Devetko: (pause) "You're not saying...I'm too safe? Boring?"

Page: "What--? No! No, I'm not saying that at all...what I'm saying is...you're a stabilizing influence in people's lives. Some people need that. There's a problem, you see a solution. When everyone and everything else in my life is all crazy and falling to pieces...I know you're the one person who won't be. You keep me grounded."

Devetko: (pause) "Well...I'm going to be grounded, if I take this out in a thunderstorm..."

*****

Devetko: (confused) "Where did you get that--?"

Kristeva: "I figured how hard can it be to fix a f***ing umbrella."


----------



## kivi (Dec 5, 2014)

I'm working on a project with my group friend and it is about designing spaces with the concept of one book we choose. I have very abstract ideas, I'm not sure how it'll come off.

And I wish I could afford more markers.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I’m so sloppy...I’m practicing now but precision takes time...awareness is a factor too...try, try & try again


----------



## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

I wrote 7k on my latest novel today. That makes 30k in 6 days. I really hope I can keep this momentum up because this is going to be a long one.


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Still only have a computer keyboard so my notes are like:

A2

hold x and play p, y 
C + Y


I'm going to see if I can try and make something that spells out some kind of message somehow.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

What a tongue twister of a poem to read aloud. I think making these poetry reading vids is gonna be good for my speech and reading aloud overall


----------



## birddookie (Jan 8, 2018)

Lohikaarme said:


> A serial killer who only goes after other serial killers.
> 
> ♫the hunter becomes the hunted♫


Check out Dexter from Showtime, and your thinking will become reality.:smile2:

How to get into bed and sleep for 7 hours.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I’m slow to the Reaper + Amplitube party but today is as good a day as any to delve in


----------



## Lohikaarme (Aug 28, 2013)

birddookie said:


> Check out Dexter from Showtime, and your thinking will become reality.:smile2:


Good suggestion, I've never seen that but I've read positive reviews about it.


----------



## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

things I would do if I didn't have social anxiety and could actually hold good conversations and was generally competent at talking when prompted and had people to speak to.

podcasts discussing things I am interested in/things other people are interested in
youtube channel discussing things I enjoy and hobbies and news on these things
possibly livestreaming or live q&a's with others


----------



## birddookie (Jan 8, 2018)

Lohikaarme said:


> Good suggestion, I've never seen that but I've read positive reviews about it.


Great TV series, might make you question your morality.>0


----------



## Paperback Writer (Feb 7, 2015)

It might "only" be a short story, and a pretty derivative one at that, but it's mine and it exists. Right now that's enough.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

All that work on this poetry vid only to realize I misread a line...


----------



## Sliusarek (Aug 14, 2016)

what is creativo? I don't understando hehehe


----------



## Johnny Walker (Mar 10, 2017)

Right now i dont give a damn what will happen with my job


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

It’s actually better when I don’t try to really project my singing voice, I have more control. I have to remember the mic is there to amplify my voice and it’s my job to sing as best I can not as loud as I can


----------



## FedericoC (Feb 12, 2018)

do anyone know "the holders" creepypastas, i'm writting a thing about it


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

The intonation on the high E string is off by micro tones but I can’t correct it because the screw is at its limit


----------



## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

FedericoC said:


> do anyone know "the holders" creepypastas, i'm writting a thing about it


Yeah &#128561; I've read and listened to quite a few.


----------



## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

been really obsessed with this app called dotpict, it's basically a pixel art app for your phone. I've been doing it on my breaks at work.

























obviously I'm not that good at pixel art but hopefully after this I'll get better. Would be cool to make some avatars for pixel rpgs and stuff. I might buy a cheap stylus for my phone because it's annoying to draw with my finger.

it's really fun because what feels like a lifetime ago, I was obsessed with oekaki boards (anyone remember these???) and drew similar stuff I guess with a pixely style but much bigger than this. man I miss oekaki boards, a few are still active but mostly in other languages I guess. there's a big polish one but I can't speak polish obviously lol


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

roxslide said:


> been really obsessed with this app called dotpict, it's basically a pixel art app for your phone. I've been doing it on my breaks at work.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Those are cool especially the purply ones. I tried making some pixel art a few years ago but haven't recently. Also did this for a few days (they post daily themes then you post your pixel art and tag them and they retweet/fav ones they like):

https://twitter.com/Pixel_Dailies?ref_src=twsrc^google|twcamp^serp|twgr^author

Everytime I see some cool pixel art (because I follow some pixel art stuff,) I think 'I should start trying to make it again' but then don't..


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Got new guitar strings, the intonation question can be answered for sure now


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I can’t believe how hard it was to find info on the selection tool(or marquee tool) in Reaper. In every other DAW I’ve used it’s just there or in the toolbar menu, easy access & use but for some reason certain things in Reaper are the equivalent of Android vs iPhone where the former is basically plug & go while the latter requires a series of very specific steps or the desired task/goal can’t be accomplished


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Gotta remember the slight string rattle on this guitar when the action is lowered doesn’t actually come through when plugged into the amp


----------



## Daxi004 (Apr 16, 2018)

I would like to have ideas of fictional stories
Or just start typing some random words in a document

And also start sampling music pieces and organize a sample library


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I need to get serious about learning music theory


----------



## onepiecefreak16 (Apr 16, 2018)

Im drawing a picture for my grandpa


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

It could be a solid band if all the personal politics wasn’t getting in the way


----------



## Mabel Pines (Mar 19, 2018)

onepiecefreak16 said:


> Im drawing a picture for my grandpa


What's the drawing of, if I may ask?


----------



## riverbird (Mar 30, 2016)

For the first time in I don't know how long, I've got the bare bones of a plot outline that I am actually so stoked about. I can't wait to start writing this story. It has the potential to become a series, I think... ahh!


----------



## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

riverbird said:


> For the first time in I don't know how long, I've got the bare bones of a plot outline that I am actually so stoked about. I can't wait to start writing this story. It has the potential to become a series, I think... ahh!


:O


----------



## Wren611 (Oct 19, 2012)

I'm really bad at everything creative. Idk why I keep bothering.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I need to mix a tube video and & 2 jazz tunes by Monday


----------



## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

I am thinking about why I haven't started typing my story.
The sooner I finish the better.


----------



## CTouln (Oct 26, 2017)

onepiecefreak16 said:


> Im drawing a picture for my grandpa


That's nice! Have you come up with the finished product? I hope you don't mind sharing it here. That's good that you have the skills to draw. How I wish I can do it perfectly.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

No that I’ve taught myself the main to the Eric Dolphin tune Iron Man by ear I should figure out what key its actually in


----------



## Daxi004 (Apr 16, 2018)

I'm preparing before buying my first daw... I'm nervous :serious: :smile2:


----------



## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

anhelou said:


> I'm preparing before buying my first daw... I'm nervous :serious: :smile2:


Which one will you choose ?


----------



## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

anhelou said:


> I'm preparing before buying my first daw... I'm nervous :serious: :smile2:


don't worry, we are always here to help


----------



## Daxi004 (Apr 16, 2018)

Overdrive said:


> Which one will you choose ?


I want Reason 10.... But I read somewhere it's not released until october? But like... what? It' says on their website you can buy it I think??

I mean if I have to wait til october this year.... I will feel bad

god damn it, theres no good "free" download of any daw I like (to mac)


----------



## Daxi004 (Apr 16, 2018)

unemployment simulator said:


> don't worry, we are always here to help


YEY ^^ :group


----------



## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

anhelou said:


> I want Reason 10.... But I read somewhere it's not released until october? But like... what? It' says on their website you can buy it I think??
> 
> I mean if I have to wait til october this year.... I will feel bad
> 
> god damn it, theres no good "free" download of any daw I like (to mac)


Hey, yes you can buy it on their website atm no problem, it's at v10.1.
I have Reason since v7, made an upgrade to v9 and they offered me the upgrade to v10.

I might be tempted to sell you my license ( if Propellerhead have a function for it) for half the price because i don't use it anymore, i mainly work with Ableton now.

There's tons of cracked version of Ableton v10 available and works properly even on mac, you might save a lot of money.


----------



## Daxi004 (Apr 16, 2018)

Overdrive said:


> Hey, yes you can buy it on their website atm no problem, it's at v10.1.
> I have Reason since v7, made an upgrade to v9 and they offered me the upgrade to v10.
> 
> I might be tempted to sell you my license ( if Propellerhead have a function for it) for half the price because i don't use it anymore, i mainly work with Ableton now.
> ...


well if you want to and can I am interested  I worked with Ableton the last few years, but I need to swap for now! I've tried two or three downloads Ableton from tpb, the only one that I can figure out how to install crashes every half year or so, and it's not easy getting it to work again... I'm not so good at solving computer problems.


----------



## Daxi004 (Apr 16, 2018)

I'm wondering why harry potars songs often has a weird intro I don't like at al and then the rest I like allot...


----------



## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

I been trying to write a blog about a story idea I have but because I have too many ideas for this one story my brain is tired from over thinking. 
I spent about 3 hours re-typing and thinking the blog post. I have 2 posts saved in my draft. 
If my brain can't decide I'll have to feel this story out.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

Black As Day said:


> I been trying to write a blog about a story idea I have but because I have too many ideas for this one story my brain is tired from over thinking.
> I spent about 3 hours re-typing and thinking the blog post. I have 2 posts saved in my draft.
> If my brain can't decide I'll have to feel this story out.


I'm thinking that it will be an amazing story.


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Have been doing a count of all the words written in what I consider my "adult phase" fiction--not my smut (though that's included), but basically, the writing I've created since around when I came online (2000). The main exceptions are my four novels (_Horus_, _Lucifer_, _D Is For Damien_, and _Minot_), which were written in the Nineties; I include those as they're major _completed_ works of mine, and tie in closely with writing I've created in my adult phase, including the WIP being posted here. I'd like to rewrite them someday, though I can't say when/if that'll happen.

Anyway. The various items I included in the count were:

_Horus_ (completed novel)
_Lucifer_ (completed novel)
_D Is For Damien_ (completed novel)
_Minot_ (completed novel)
_Manitou Island_ (completed serial)
_Return To Manitou Island_ (completed serial)
All completed novellas, short stories, and scenes set in the _D Is For Damien_ continuity and related storylines
All completed novellas, short stories, and scenes set in the _Horus_/Kemet continuity
All completed novellas, short stories, and scenes set in the _Manitou Island_ continuity
All completed erotica/mature items set in the _D Is For Damien_ continuity and related storylines
All completed erotica/mature items set in the _Horus_/Kemet continuity
All completed erotica/mature items set in the _Manitou Island_ continuity
All completed erotica/mature items set in the _The Trench Rats_ continuity
The 100 Themes Challenge, _Minot_ edition (WIP)
All WIP novellas, short stories, and scenes set in the _D Is For Damien_ continuity and related storylines
_Escape From Manitou Island_ (WIP serial)
All WIP novellas, short stories, and scenes set in the _Horus_/Kemet continuity
_Lucifer_ (rewrite) (WIP novel)
_The Lurker At The Threshold_ (adaptation) (WIP novel)
All WIP novellas, short stories, and scenes set in the _Manitou Island_ continuity
_Osiris_ (rewrite) (WIP novel)
_The Ameni Chronicles_ (WIP serial)
All completed erotica/mature items set in the _The Ameni Chronicles_ continuity
_Antakh Of The Apsiu_ (rewrite) (WIP miniserial)
All WIP erotica/mature items set in the _D Is For Damien_ continuity and related storylines _[including the unnamed WIP currently being posted on SAS]_
All WIP erotica/mature items set in the _Horus_/Kemet continuity
All WIP erotica/mature items set in the _Manitou Island_ continuity
All WIP erotica/mature items set in the _The Ameni Chronicles_ continuity
All WIP erotica/mature items set in the _The Trench Rats_ continuity
_The Trench Rats_ (rewrite) (WIP novel/serial)

Including completed works (finished and proofread/posted online), rough drafts (completed but not proofed), and WIPs (incomplete), the approximate word count total of all the above is 4,981,708 words.

This isn't all my writing...just the stuff since around 2000, plus my four novels. There's a lot from before then too, including shorter items from my adolescent years, and WIP novels also dating from the Nineties but not included here since they're unfinished and really need redoing. (At least two novels--_True Believers_ and, I think the other one is _The Scorpio Murders_, I got a good way through them before losing interest.)

My two early collections of short stories set on Manitou Island--the direct precursors of the short Manitou Island stories in existence today--have unfortunately been lost, somehow.


----------



## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Idky it didn't occur to me to learn that song yet. It's like an iconic song to me. The piano part sounds rly easy if I can get some time to myself tmr at my mom's house I'll give it a try.

Also I really wish I could get some time off without being plagued by hmwrk. I really feel like I can't draw because I always feel guilty that it should do my hmwrk instead. School kills my vibe. Because drawing is kind of intense for some reason, even if I've finished my hmwrk early I still can't draw because I'm mentally exhausted. It's not relaxing like playing music for whatever reason.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Vaguely interested in getting into doll repainting. It just sounds like an awesome way to combine two things I like: painting+makeup.... but I also hate dolls and find them creepy. The act of doing it sounds fun but in terms of the result I'd probably want to throw them out afterward, I hate the idea of keeping dolls in my home ugh. Maybe I could sell them. Hmm.


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## Daxi004 (Apr 16, 2018)

now I have 9 semi-active word documents open.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

There’s seems to be a disparity between how the drawn wave file appears, what the VU meters are showing & the audio level I’m hearing...rather bizarre & rare


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## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

I would like to write a short "one shot" comic story but knowing me I would want to turn it into a series......and a crossover.


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## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

@tehuti88, that's quite a list! You must really love to write!


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## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

I'm working on an online song collaboration.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Maslow said:


> I'm working on an online song collaboration.


Cool, cross country or international?


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

The problem with constantly writing songs is that some never reach their full potential because they aren’t truly refined & some are forgotten nearly as quickly as they are written


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## Steve French (Sep 17, 2012)

I found my nanowrimo attempt from some years back. It's quite awful. Well, there are a few moments of genius amidst all the trash. It's interesting looking back on a creative endeavor such as this after a few years. Feels like something from a different person. I remember a great deal of doubt while writing it, at everything essentially. Even the things I now see that worked. I don't know how a person ever sends off a manuscript to the publishers.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Randomly got a new story concept for a comic or something which hasn't happened in a while. I am not sure if I dreamt it or thought of it before I went to sleep.

I just remembered it now so I just want to write it out so I don't forget, warning: it probably won't make much sense.

A character that is a portal or door. A girl, I think. With long hair and a flowy dress to represent shape of the door. Possibly abnormally tall. Can't decide what the setting actually is (video game?) but the region the character is in is dark and atmospheric, and the destination is green and alive. When you pass through her, she is seen from the back standing no matter what angle you look at her from, and you are unable to interact with her. 

Conflict: because she serves as a portal/door she is trapped and unable to escape from her realm. Also unable to physically interact with other characters.

Unable to decide if this is a romance or what. But I'd like to draw concept art at the very least.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

I'm upset that I never came up with a good pixel horror concept. I had one but I have to be honest it was just a rip off of a scene from the telltale walking dead game.

I guess I had another idea that was kind of cool but not really right for that platform.


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## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

thank **** for quantization, sparing my blushes right now.


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## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

I can't wait to finish my poem about my Sesshouma-BOO from Inuyasha and upload it on Deviant Art.
I hope to get a lot of likes from all the so called fan girls.
If not then that is ok. I made my point on why he is so hot.
 Ha Ha Ha


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## BackToThePast (Aug 31, 2012)

Unreal Development Kit (2013) is such a pain in the *** to work with. What doesn't help is when you use it for modding purposes that 75% of the work becomes an abstract guessing game of whether certain things exist from the game or are meant to work in a different way or if I'm missing a piece of the puzzle. Not to mention problems with UDK itself that causes it to randomly crash or corrupt your save file or delete links to your Kismet nodes.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

I accidentally killed my WIP thread -_-

My last post got deleted during those weird couple of days where posts were disappearing. I tried to repost the post that got deleted, but right before I did I deleted my previous post because I thought the wips were kind of ugly. But then I got hit with the "this thread is more than w/e days old" denial message.

Darn it. Now I have nowhere to post my wips... maybe I will post them here now.

Currently working on this little pixel of a kitty


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

@*roxslide* I'm sorry to hear about your thread.  You're more than welcome to post WIPs here if you want, of course.

I really like the kitty.  I'd like to try pixel art but haven't the patience.

...

My own update for my own thread, I've just been migrating all my writing and of course that's time consuming. >_> And my reading/writing OCD is as bad as ever; can't figure out a way around it. Not sure when I'll get back into something that's actually creative.


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## AffinityWing (Aug 11, 2013)

Writing more philosophical works with the organic way I write is increasingly hard. It also feels like there are just contradictions cropping up everywhere, even if it's mostly just a series of loosely connected paragraphs. 

Well, I've realized it's definitely not something good for writing when it's late, my brain is already very tired from the rest of the day and I'm already having trouble putting out coherent thoughts. LOL


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

tehuti88 said:


> @*roxslide* I'm sorry to hear about your thread.  You're more than welcome to post WIPs here if you want, of course.
> 
> I really like the kitty.  I'd like to try pixel art but haven't the patience.
> 
> ...


Aw thanks! Yeah I don't really have the patience either tbh but it's the only way I can somewhat effectively produce art on my phone so far so I just work on them when I'm out and about. I use this app called dotpict.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I need to get back to work


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## Zatch (Apr 28, 2013)

Smelling like a bed of roses. By now you should've been long asleep beneath one.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Woah I almost always draw faces from the left side, or slightly from a left angle. How did I not realize that until now wtf. (probably because I don't know my rights from my lefts) or maybe I just don't draw as often anymore so I forgot about it. I wonder if the drawing from the left side thing is because I'm left handed.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

wacom makes the best tablets but BOY setting them up is a ****ing nightmare. I have been a wacom customer for... 10 years now and have bought at least 4 tablets from them and every single time I have issues making the driver work.


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## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

tehuti88 said:


> Have been doing a count of all the words written in what I consider my "adult phase" fiction--not my smut (though that's included), but basically, the writing I've created since around when I came online (2000). The main exceptions are my four novels (_Horus_, _Lucifer_, _D Is For Damien_, and _Minot_), which were written in the Nineties; I include those as they're major _completed_ works of mine, and tie in closely with writing I've created in my adult phase, including the WIP being posted here. I'd like to rewrite them someday, though I can't say when/if that'll happen.
> 
> Anyway. The various items I included in the count were:
> 
> ...


that's amazing!! I envy your commitment to your passion. I love writing and have been doing it since I was a kid, rewriting fairy tales in the books themselves and getting in trouble for damaging the books lol But I can't seem to finish anything I start. Are your novels completely your own, not fanfiction?


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I need to watch his tube videos on the subject as well as that other instructional video for Reaper


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Well, my writing blog is finally up to date, and I can abandon my Google Site.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> that's amazing!! I envy your commitment to your passion. I love writing and have been doing it since I was a kid, rewriting fairy tales in the books themselves and getting in trouble for damaging the books lol But I can't seem to finish anything I start. Are your novels completely your own, not fanfiction?


I'm sorry, I missed this somehow. ops In two of my storylines (I have four main ones) I use characters and events from mythology, but aside from that, my stories are my own.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

I think maybe I like writing author's notes more than actual writing. I get to spoil all the stuff I'll probably never get the chance to write. :/

One reason the AFF site bugs me, they limit your author's notes to 600 words or some such. Yeah, I know, nobody reads them, but still I write them.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

tehuti88 said:


> I think maybe I like writing author's notes more than actual writing. I get to spoil all the stuff I'll probably never get the chance to write. :/
> 
> One reason the AFF site bugs me, they limit your author's notes to 600 words or some such. Yeah, I know, nobody reads them, but still I write them.


Omg you have an AFF account??? MAJOR THROWBACK. (Hopefully I am not embarrassing myself, the A is for "adult" right).

This just goes to show what a weirdo I am but I used to read the weirdest stuff on AFF. I remember reading Invader Zim fanfiction and also Transformers haha


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## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

tehuti88 said:


> I'm sorry, I missed this somehow. ops In two of my storylines (I have four main ones) I use characters and events from mythology, but aside from that, my stories are my own.


Still that's really interesting! It takes a lot to put your own story together using mythology anyway, so the fact you have finalized works of your own is a big accomplishment!  As a gift to yourself you should look into getting them bound in a book, find some really cool art or someone to contribute original art for them. I bet you're a great writer too 

Yeah I always seem to get ahead of myself, plots will just unravel in my head and I'll be more interested in making author notes regarding the eventual future of the story than actually writing to the finish.


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## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

The great thing about playing the trumpet or saxophone has to be the fact you can just play riffs or melodies as free as you wish. I always feel guilty doing that on guitar or piano, i.e. just playing with my right hand and not providing any chords or bass.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Got back into crochet again. I'm making another "grocery bag" bag (tote bag made out of plastic grocery bags, why yes I am a dirty hippie). Stuff made out of grocery bags is hideous tbh but I get a smug satisfaction knowing that I am upcycling hundreds of grocery bags at this point. Come at me, "no waste" vegans!!

Anyway after I finish my tote bag I think I'll try to make a crochet crop top.










Something like this I guess, or a deep V kind. I'm pretty crafty but I can't sew at all... but I figured I could at least crochet some clothes. I'm sick of making hats and I've been kind of into crop tops lately though I don't think I'm thin enough to properly pull it off (but idc lol).


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Bought some new yarn and hooks to crochet while I'm on the boat. I'll also bring my sketchbook and my pens I guess.

I think I'll start with the simpler crop top design and then move to thinner thread and more complicated designs.

I also wanted to try at carving eventually but it's too complicated to get into right now. I want to carve wood but with the tools and space I have now, I could probably only realistically carve soap.... which is... less than desirable (aka sounds really pointless idk)


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## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

roxslide said:


> Bought some new yarn and hooks to crochet while I'm on the boat. I'll also bring my sketchbook and my pens I guess.
> 
> I think I'll start with the simpler crop top design and then move to thinner thread and more complicated designs.
> 
> I also wanted to try at carving eventually but it's too complicated to get into right now. I want to carve wood but with the tools and space I have now, I could probably only realistically carve soap.... which is... less than desirable (aka sounds really pointless idk)


Eager to see the finished top! What colors are you using?


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Practice & getting teaching to pick up again is a must


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Idk if this belongs here but I was drawing on my pixel art app. I showed that I got some followers and likes on some of my drawings to my little brother (12) so it got him kind of excited and he worked a while on his own first drawing. I was kind of shocked when he excitedly told me to post it on my account. He told me really excitedly that it should boost my account popularity and he expects it to be my most popular work which made me nervous. I told him it will take a while for all the likes and follows to show up. He will ask about it eventually and I'm sure he will be disappointed that it didn't do nearly as well as he thought. I didn't mean to end up in this situation where I'm showing up my baby brother and he gets sad or frustrated.



A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Eager to see the finished top! What colors are you using?


I bought a peach, green and black yarn! I'm on vacation right now so I actually ran out of the yarn I brought and my shirt is currently unfinished...


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## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

roxslide said:


> Idk if this belongs here but I was drawing on my pixel art app. I showed that I got some followers and likes on some of my drawings to my little brother (12) so it got him kind of excited and he worked a while on his own first drawing. I was kind of shocked when he excitedly told me to post it on my account. He told me really excitedly that it should boost my account popularity and he expects it to be my most popular work which made me nervous. I told him it will take a while for all the likes and follows to show up. He will ask about it eventually and I'm sure he will be disappointed that it didn't do nearly as well as he thought. I didn't mean to end up in this situation where I'm showing up my baby brother and he gets sad or frustrated.
> 
> I bought a peach, green and black yarn! I'm on vacation right now so I actually ran out of the yarn I brought and my shirt is currently unfinished...


Ooh those are good colours! Haha it's ok you should enjoy your vacation 

That's so sweet! He's into art too? oh no the world of likes & dislikes. hopefully he won't get too disappointed.


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## BeautyandRage (Jul 2, 2018)

Life is beautiful, but you don’t have a clue.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I’ve lost my muse again, need to rediscover it


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

I know this shouldn't come as a surprise but the canvas panels I bought from walmart for cheap are terrible quality wow. They are warping and the one I painted last night is still damp/soft somehow after using acrylic??? The ones I bought from michaels are way superior. lesson learned I guess


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

For the plans of Mice and Men gang aft ahglaghlalay. .... something about British English dialects and all that jazz. It'd be cool to come from the land of poets. And of the ice and snow. Valhalla I'm coming ..


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

I think I want to draw some disenchanted fanart lol


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## Zatch (Apr 28, 2013)

Conversation I had with someone earlier:

"Hey... you know what's funny?"

"Comedy."

"... You know what's funny _other than comedy?_"

"Bad comedy."

She laughed. Victory is mine!


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

I'd like to learn how to digitally draw. Right now this is about the extent of my ability/patience.



Yeah, that was only a minute or two and I did it on the first digital drawing site that pops up on Google (took me longer to crop the damn thing on my tablet), but most drawing sites/apps are so complicated (layers?) or else are TOO simple (the thing that comes in Memo or Samsung Notes, which is basically glorified Memo), and I get frustrated if I don't produce something awesome within a few minutes. And if this is the way S Pen and all styli draw (*scribbles* *nothing appears* *pulls stylus away* *oh, THERE it is*), I'm not sure I could handle the irritation. It's like drawing almost blind.

I also get overwhelmed looking at sites and apps. Sony Mobile Communications's "Sketch--Draw & Paint" looks most promising but I don't know, I suck at this.


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## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

tehuti88 said:


> I'd like to learn how to digitally draw. Right now this is about the extent of my ability/patience.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


way better than anything I can do. And it only took about a minute?? wow. It's so cute Tehuti  ♡♡♡


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## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

tehuti88 said:


> I'd like to learn how to digitally draw. Right now this is about the extent of my ability/patience.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Looks good to me. 

I would suggest to do some life drawing if you can on paper. It helps to improve your drawing skills. 

Also a pen / graphics tablet (similar to a tablet pc with pen). But a pen / graphics tablet is better for drawing, due to faster to respond to pen inputs, etc. Quite a common tool in 3D for sculpting models, compositing, etc.


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## Korcari (Aug 27, 2018)

tehuti88 said:


> I'd like to learn how to digitally draw. Right now this is about the extent of my ability/patience.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Ahhh. Cute kitty. c: Layers are about the most common thing to find in image editing programs though... 
and they're insanely useful (especially when coloring/shading/etc). 
I can't draw freehand super great (digital or manual :/), but I color manga panels and things sometimes.

@*roxslide*, you seem to have many talents. c:
disenchanted fanart sounds fun. a tad disappointed though tbh. 
i was scrolling through the thread and was very interested to see that crop top. :serious: 
i wish i could crochet. 
----

wrote this at random. i know it's going to make sense to no one. 
trying to get back into writing though.

_"Construct your own fate,"
they ask of me, 
knowing I cannot even 
construct myself. 
I am recycled from a wolfish palette, 
grey in the bud. 
And I am delicate in the way that I am hard.
The grains in my skin rubbed raw to a rose 
mahogany that is only as firm as the tenets on the wall. 
which is to say, softer than a house of straw. 
and softer than the stars they eat 
that fatten them for fodder in the hearth. 
spoon-fed like babes with no teeth but toothy smiles,
I am the wolf in their cauldron.
How does happiness taste?_


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

tehuti88 said:


> I'd like to learn how to digitally draw. Right now this is about the extent of my ability/patience.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Actually looks great for a minute! I actually drew with a mouse for the first few years I did digital art. It was much more clumsy but not too bad. These sites are really going out of style but you might want to check out oekaki, it's all about simplicity in the interface and even the result. Often a lot of oekaki interfaces don't even let you choose layers. I believe there are still some active boards like oekaki.nl and oekaki central. (I just found another board called chicken smoothie lol) I used to run a few of my own oekaki boards actually lol but my hosting sites died I think. If you just want to try oekaki out without any commitment, I believe 4chan has an oekaki board where you can post anon (I've used it a few times when I missed the oekaki experience)

There are actually a few community driven sites that are like oekaki boards that also have simple interfaces:

Tegaki, drawr (run by pixiv), there are some new apps launching too (like the pixel art app I use). On these sites it's really about having fun/experimenting and not worrying too much about a professional effect.

Yeah I have had my fair share of issues with using digital means of drawing. If you find using your stylus is too glitchy then you can actually buy a small and functional graphic tablet for cheap nowadays. Like I found a decent huion tablet (I have tried this brand, not too bad) for 20 dollars on Amazon.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Korcari said:


> @*roxslide*, you seem to have many talents. c:
> disenchanted fanart sounds fun. a tad disappointed though tbh.
> i was scrolling through the thread and was very interested to see that crop top. :serious:
> i wish i could crochet.


Yeah sorry I'm the queen of not finishing stuff. That's why I made a thread dedicated to works in progress. I have like 3 separate unfinished crop tops right now Haha

Anyway thanks! I think the reason why I have a lot of hobbies is that I get bored easily. So I just cycle between s bunch of stuff.

These were the patterns I was using though if you're curious

https://www.girliescrochet.com/bea-crop-top.html <was making this in black

https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/lex-crop-top <- a most green. Something went wrong when making this one though, I think it's going to be way too big for me somehow

https://www.google.com/search?q=gra...hVcHjQIHXWsDxwQ_AUIDygC#imgrc=3jcemfGpbMdcwM: <-peach

Edit:also sorry for the doublepost... I'm always too lazy to multiquote. That requires way more foresight than I actually have


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## Korcari (Aug 27, 2018)

roxslide said:


> Yeah sorry I'm the queen of not finishing stuff. That's why I made a thread dedicated to works in progress. I have like 3 separate unfinished crop tops right now Haha
> 
> Anyway thanks! I think the reason why I have a lot of hobbies is that I get bored easily. So I just cycle between s bunch of stuff.
> 
> ...


AHHH I love the first and the last one. Peach isn't quite my color preference, but I'd love that top in some variation of "natural" tan/off-white. Or even brown. greens/browns/black. My colors entirely. Lol 
Those are insanely cute though.

I see handmade clothing all of the time where I'm like "I wish I could do that," but I never really go out of my way to learn how. -_- Lazy. I did jewelry for a while. I liked trying to make different ring/bracelet sets (similar to slave bracelets) with wire. There's a girl I love on etsy who does something similar with ear cuffs. I feel like I don't have the patience anymore though.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Korcari said:


> AHHH I love the first and the last one. Peach isn't quite my color preference, but I'd love that top in some variation of "natural" tan/off-white. Or even brown. greens/browns/black. My colors entirely. Lol
> Those are insanely cute though.
> 
> I see handmade clothing all of the time where I'm like "I wish I could do that," but I never really go out of my way to learn how. -_- Lazy. I did jewelry for a while. I liked trying to make different ring/bracelet sets (similar to slave bracelets) with wire. There's a girl I love on etsy who does something similar with ear cuffs. I feel like I don't have the patience anymore though.


Yeah I'm actually the same. For the size yarn I was looking for they only had peach and white. I chose peach (because white crochet seemed too idk, matronly or something) but after I started on it I realized I really hated the color and that's why I stopped working on it. I pretty much only wear green and shades of the grayscale.

I'd be too lazy too. I only know because my mom taught me as a kid. I've tried to learn to knit a few times and never really figured it out. I still have some out knitting needles that I don't know how to use. It's cool that you do jewelry though. I messed around with that a bit bit I don't really wear jewelry so it didn't work out.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Downloaded the drawing app. I think the lag I experienced was the site's fault and not the S Pen. This app has a couple of tiny bugs (for example, a wand that's supposed to draw stars draws circles instead, and brush widths display inaccurately in preview so you need to try them out first) but aside from that seems nice so far. No way will I participate in the community, though, I think it's rigged to display all the talented work; I see zero scribbles like mine. (I've actually been a member of Chicken Smoothie for years... :lol ...but just for the pets...even the beginner oekaki board is way too advanced for my skill level.)

Second effort, around 20min. (most of that trying to color stuff):



(Yes, a cat loaf.)

Granted, I should be working on learning how to sketch before even trying to color anything. I read an article a digital artist wrote a while back about this very thing, that they were trying too hard to paint before they could draw. Just that it's difficult to convey "tortoiseshell" in B&W. :blank

My biggest difficulty seems to be maintaining focus/patience for anything longer than 10 minutes. I'd probably improve greatly if I could just sit and work on a piece for an hour or more like a real artist. :/

(EDIT, I forgot to draw lines in her ears... :um )


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

tehuti88 said:


> Downloaded the drawing app. I think the lag I experienced was the site's fault and not the S Pen. This app has a couple of tiny bugs (for example, a wand that's supposed to draw stars draws circles instead, and brush widths display inaccurately in preview so you need to try them out first) but aside from that seems nice so far. No way will I participate in the community, though, I think it's rigged to display all the talented work; I see zero scribbles like mine. (I've actually been a member of Chicken Smoothie for years... :lol ...but just for the pets...even the beginner oekaki board is way too advanced for my skill level.)
> 
> Second effort, around 20min. (most of that trying to color stuff):
> 
> ...


Idk, everyone has different styles. My sister is a way better artist than me and she actually works on her stuff in bits and pieces. Like she'll spend 30 minutes a day for a week on a drawing and by the end it's impeccable.

I am definitely one of those one and done people, but my stuff actually turns out way more unfinished and sketchy than hers.

Yeah I mean most sites are like that but even if you find that your stuff is less developed most people are really nice on boards, of course everyone wants to do well but I don't think anyone minds seeing people practice. I have never had any bad experiences on oekaki boards and even made some really great friends. It's totally your choice though, I don't want to seem like I'm pressuring. When I started I was pretty terrible, for reference, I drew this right before I joined my first oekaki board lol and I'm fairly certain I actually worked hard on this and was proud lol










----

Also yesterday I came to this thread but got totally derailed... but I was going to say somehow my ex-coworker found my art instagram!!! Yikes.... I wasn't comfortable with that because my art is kind of weird and disturbing at times so I blocked her. Hopefully she doesn't notice. I just don't want anyone I know seeing this account, at least people who don't know me well. I hope she doesn't tell anyone about this acct.


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## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

tehuti88 said:


> Downloaded the drawing app. I think the lag I experienced was the site's fault and not the S Pen. This app has a couple of tiny bugs (for example, a wand that's supposed to draw stars draws circles instead, and brush widths display inaccurately in preview so you need to try them out first) but aside from that seems nice so far. No way will I participate in the community, though, I think it's rigged to display all the talented work; I see zero scribbles like mine. (I've actually been a member of Chicken Smoothie for years... :lol ...but just for the pets...even the beginner oekaki board is way too advanced for my skill level.)
> 
> Second effort, around 20min. (most of that trying to color stuff):
> 
> ...


I like that. 

You have a good eye. 

Now I wonder what your shadow work is like (a layer with some transparency, black paint for shadow).


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## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

roxslide said:


> Idk, everyone has different styles. My sister is a way better artist than me and she actually works on her stuff in bits and pieces. Like she'll spend 30 minutes a day for a week on a drawing and by the end it's impeccable.
> 
> I am definitely one of those one and done people, but my stuff actually turns out way more unfinished and sketchy than hers.
> 
> ...


Botan!!!! ♡♡♡♡

So cute.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Botan!!!! ♡♡♡♡
> 
> So cute.


Aw thanks Haha. I was obsessed with botan when I was like 14-15 (around when I drew this)


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## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

roxslide said:


> Aw thanks Haha. I was obsessed with botan when I was like 14-15 (around when I drew this)


yea I used to love that show. She was my favourite too. I have a little figurine of her somewhere I'm sure. Haha. Oh cool, I didnt realize it was an older drawing. You've always had artistic talent


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Man, so bored of everything lately. I don't want to face my life so I just keep drawing but I'm totally lacking any kind of inspiration so I just keep drawing the same **** over and over lol










girlface, girlface, girlface and flowers, girlface, animal, girlface, skull, girlface, skull and girlfaces....

I draw dudes too sometimes but only when I'm drawing fanart tbh (omg I looked for the last time I drew a dude's face and it was almost two years ago hahaha. I should try to draw more dudes I guess.)

also sorry for spamming this thread


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

@unemployment simulator

"*An Anuform® anal electrode connected to a modified Peritone EMG sensor registers the activity of my sphincter muscle.*"






Why not.... :lol.


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## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

Overdrive said:


> @unemployment simulator
> 
> "*An Anuform® anal electrode connected to a modified Peritone EMG sensor registers the activity of my sphincter muscle.*"
> 
> ...


hahaha gives a new meaning to I couldn't be arsed when making this tune.

all praise be to behringer, continuing to deliver the goods! first proper audio out demo of their 808 clone.


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

unemployment simulator said:


> hahaha gives a new meaning to I couldn't be arsed when making this tune.
> 
> all praise be to behringer, continuing to deliver the goods! first proper audio out demo of their 808 clone.


Nice with the RD-808, the kickdrum has changed from the original it has a harder low end.

I'm sure there something waiting for 9/09 :grin2:.


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## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

Overdrive said:


> Nice with the RD-808, the kickdrum has changed from the original it has a harder low end.
> 
> I'm sure there something waiting for 9/09 :grin2:.


yea! and maybe a sp1200, now that would be interesting &#129300; : D


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

@unemployment simulator









Obviously...


----------



## TheFighterStillRemains (Oct 3, 2010)

I miss shooting on film so damn much


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Some many VST’s to choose from...so glad my buddy hooked me up!


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## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

Is there a general name for singing without lyrics? Scat singing would be an example. The closest thing to a name I can find is "Non-lexical vocables in music".


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## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

"Another method of scat singing is practiced by guitarists who scat along with their solos note for note. Notable practitioners include George Benson, Sheldon Reynolds, and Rik Emmett."

I really wish I had the kind of musical mastery to do that...


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

Those mastering services like LANDR are a scam. They slam your production with a limiter and some basics eq presets for each genre and that's the fuk all... In the end process you end up with your original vs LANDR mastered (no balanced between the two) and obviously the LANDR sounds much louder than the original... No **** !!! if you slam a limiter in the chain it's gonna sound like a brick or a sausage. The worst part is all the pigeons who use this service, all they care about is the volume, more dB moarr bettar.


FFS save some bucks and go for some real professionals who knows their stuff not some clumsy algorithms.


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## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

Overdrive said:


> Those mastering services like LANDR are a scam. They slam your production with a limiter and some basics eq presets for each genre and that's the fuk all... In the end process you end up with your original vs LANDR mastered (no balanced between the two) and obviously the LANDR sounds much louder than the original... No **** !!! if you slam a limiter in the chain it's gonna sound like a brick or a sausage. The worst part is all the pigeons who use this service, all they care about is the volume, more dB moarr bettar.
> 
> FFS save some bucks and go for some real professionals who knows their stuff not some clumsy algorithms.


yea man, look at the loudness wars, everyone wants overall loudness over dynamics. it's kinda sad and doesn't really seem to be getting any better? : /


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

unemployment simulator said:


> yea man, look at the loudness wars, everyone wants overall loudness over dynamics. it's kinda sad and doesn't really seem to be getting any better? : /


It's the music industry (mostly EDM and Techno like Drumcode and Minus + other overrated labels).

Most popular DJs will hunt musics thru Spotify or even soundcloud, i don't know if spotify have high encoded streaming audio above 128kbps, soundcloud have reduced their encoded to 64kbps...
If you upload a track on soundcloud without any limiter in the chain, compression free -6dB peak standards, you will hear a lot of artefacts in the mid/high range. That's why when it's a sausage, compressed balls deep  you won't hear any because everything is loud !.

But yeah when some popular DJs are browsing thru those audio streaming platform all they want is loudness, the more it strikes to the hears the more it sells.

It does not get any better mate, if every tracks has the same brickwall sausage type sound it get boring and without some dynamics you remove some personality on the track.
Imagine if old school band had acess to the digital era, it would sounds awful lol.


----------



## Winds (Apr 17, 2011)

I probably should leave it as noodle. It's a funny typo even though it doesn't really fit.


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## Great Expectations (Jan 25, 2018)

Wrongwolfe said:


> I miss shooting on film so damn much


I want to create something on film again too.


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## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

Overdrive said:


> It's the music industry (mostly EDM and Techno like Drumcode and Minus + other overrated labels).
> 
> Most popular DJs will hunt musics thru Spotify or even soundcloud, i don't know if spotify have high encoded streaming audio above 128kbps, soundcloud have reduced their encoded to 64kbps...
> If you upload a track on soundcloud without any limiter in the chain, compression free -6dB peak standards, you will hear a lot of artefacts in the mid/high range. That's why when it's a sausage, compressed balls deep  you won't hear any because everything is loud !.
> ...


that's already happening mate. part of the reason I don't like a lot of heavy rock music nowadays, remasters of classic lp's are turned into sausages. 




it just sounds ****ing plastic and the loudness wars is partly responsible for that overall sound. metal and some punk in particular,to me its not supposed to sound plastic that just undermines its point lol.

sausage dynamics. :lol yea right it does look like a sausage in a wave editor.
I have no problem with beats peaking to give a bit of kick I do that myself its kind of needed in some ways to drive a dancefloor especially with techno, beats and bass should have a bit of compression, this still leaves a **** load of space in the track with clever use of eq. but to have no room for anything just seems to kill creativity. like some people are putting compression on ****ing everything! and its just unnecessary. I read an article about vst compressors the other day and the guy was like reeling off all these compressors he uses on virtually every instrument! I was like da***!? lol really why are you using so much compression!?

I haven't listened to drumcode for a while, I used to like the label about 10 years ago as it was adam bayers thing but I haven't checked in with it for years. mainroom stuff is a bit like this, some mainroom trax are ok (its still much more tolerable to listening to an hour of trance lol) but a lot of them totally lack personality, they are boring and I find I don't really want to return to listening to them years later. thank **** most of it is constrained to edm genres I don't care about, brostep. a lot of variants of this that have spawned up in the last 10 years. its basically down to the counter culture stuff to stick two fingers up, vaporwave and associated genres, techno and noise.


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

unemployment simulator said:


> that's already happening mate. part of the reason I don't like a lot of heavy rock music nowadays, remasters of classic lp's are turned into sausages.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yeah right many have already done that with some remasters. It really depends who does the job honestly, some are fuk ups really. I remmenber i did a blog here on this subject.

Lol about the compression part, it always made me laugh when they use them for everything feels like they don't understand the main purpose of this tool haha !. It's basically down to some clumsy tutorials on youtube who wants to sound like some edm fukery.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Man I am so bad at keeping my layers straight... I wish I was one of those people who drew in a super organized way (lineart, color layer, background layer, effects/adjustment layers) I always wind up just flattening the image every once in a while (so I don't slow my computer with 30+ layers) or even drawing over a single layer sometimes. I just paint tbh and I don't really draw. I'm just constantly painting over stuff until it looks good enough

I remember seeing some artist I really admired comment on the amount of layers she used and it was crazy... like 90 or something. How could she resist flattening the image?

now it's completely bit me in the butt because I have to painstakingly erase a bunch of parts so that the bg in the png is transparent and clean.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

roxslide said:


> Man I am so bad at keeping my layers straight... I wish I was one of those people who drew in a super organized way (lineart, color layer, background layer, effects/adjustment layers) I always wind up just flattening the image every once in a while (so I don't slow my computer with 30+ layers) or even drawing over a single layer sometimes. I just paint tbh and I don't really draw. I'm just constantly painting over stuff until it looks good enough
> 
> I remember seeing some artist I really admired comment on the amount of layers she used and it was crazy... like 90 or something. How could she resist flattening the image?
> 
> now it's completely bit me in the butt because I have to painstakingly erase a bunch of parts so that the bg in the png is transparent and clean.


When I used to work on stuff in Photoshop I'd always create an insane amount of layers almost compulsively, because I was really paranoid about things going wrong and not being able to easily delete/edit them (which had happened a few times.) Like I'd make a new layer for the tiniest thing so if you looked at many of the layer previews it would just be this checker board pattern with like a minuscule squiggle or something lol. There's at least one thing I worked on that had 147 layers (which is an insane amount lol, especially for what it was) though some ended up deleted.

They wouldn't be organised at all though, sometimes I'd make folders to group them and/or name them, but most of the time I'd just ctrl + click on the area on the image to get to the layer I wanted to move stuff around.


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## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

I wanted to transcribe a song I discovered recently (basically just a few riffs), so I set my mind to it and actually succeeded! But it wasn't rewarding at all really, kind of makes me not want to devote myself to anything ever again.. for the moment at least. :\


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Idgi. Whenever I am really happy with something I've done... it's usually some of my most unpopular work, or even receives the most crticism/negative comments. Stuff I'm meh about blows up though somehow.

Also omg hahahahaaaa I just found a wattpad fanfic with my fanart as the cover. It's rated ~mature~ (though who knows what that means when it comes to the 14 yr olds on there) Should I read it? I think I will haha


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## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

Overdrive said:


>


:lol


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Drop C is such a crazy low tuning...I almost feel like it’d be better to detune the 8-string than have a 6 string so low that’s not a baritone guitar


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## Steve French (Sep 17, 2012)

If I compiled all my forum posts on various websites over the years, I'm sure I will have written enough to fill many novels. Dozens, probably. I'd like to compile a dump of them all. Measure it up to the actual writing I've done over the same time period.


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

Getting back on Ableton is hard, almost 4months of break and still no envy to make music. I hate those blank periods.
I really miss the time i had the drive for it, now i begin to think i slowly lose it.


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## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

Canadian Brotha said:


> Drop C is such a crazy low tuning...I almost feel like it'd be better to detune the 8-string than have a 6 string so low that's not a baritone guitar


I'm tempted to tune down that far just to play a catchy boss theme from Yakuza -






And I used to tune to drop B(b) to play 'Seven Angels' by Earth. I'm not into drone metal enough to invest in a baritone or 8-string guitar though.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Gonna try my best with inktober... this month has been so busy so far though with moving in! Hopefully I can make it through


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## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

attempted to get some field recordings done in the only nearby wildlife reserve, which is in the middle of a city... I think I got a clear 4 mins of audio and its possible I could splice some parts together before they got ruined. I need this to be a relaxing sound.

it was actually perfect apart from one thing, footballers playing on a nearby pitch, so every now and then I get a nice bit of wind rain and leaves rustling perhaps a nice bird singing, and then the natural sounds are pierced by the sound of "ON THE ED SON!! PASS IT YOU FOOKING DONKEY! YES YES! YEAHAHAHAHAHHAA WHARRGARBL"

****s sake! I guess I need to go back when the football pitch is closed.... best look up the times.


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## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

Barakiel said:


> I wanted to transcribe a song I discovered recently (basically just a few riffs), so I set my mind to it and actually succeeded! But it wasn't rewarding at all really, kind of makes me not want to devote myself to anything ever again.. for the moment at least. :\


I did it again! The only reason it isn't rewarding is because I'm not immediately good at it though. :blank I _could_ practice it, but I'll probably never want to hear the tune ever again after that.

I've always wondered if classical pianists with a decent repertoire can ever sit down and listen to somebody else play the pieces they know.


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

unemployment simulator said:


> I get a nice bit of wind rain and leaves rustling perhaps a nice bird singing, and then the natural sounds are pierced by the sound of "ON THE ED SON!! PASS IT YOU FOOKING DONKEY! YES YES! YEAHAHAHAHAHHAA WHARRGARBL"
> 
> ****s sake! I guess I need to go back when the football pitch is closed.... best look up the times.


Field recording at its finest ! :lol.


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## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

Overdrive said:


> Field recording at its finest ! :lol.


I really need to get out of this city at some point and get on to the downs. Even my doctor recommended I get out into nature.


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

unemployment simulator said:


> I really need to get out of this city at some point and get on to the downs. Even my doctor recommended I get out into nature.


He's right, if you get a chance to take a break in the countryside or nature for a moment it could be a relief for you.
Nothing beats a walk in nature during those cold winter time imo, or when all the landscape is covered with snow, love it !.






soooon 0.


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## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

I need to make a new "Let's Write And Doodle!" 2018 Winter cover page. 
I already made one in advance between late Summer and early Autumn but because I made it too early if feel like it is outdated.
Plus I have a tendency of wearing my Seasonal cover pictures too early. {Causing me to sometimes have 2 seasonal pictures}


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

The more I write, the more I realize how bad a writer I am.


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## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

I have something new to talk about creatively on this thread. Sorry my Doodles, new art here. LOL. 


Anyway I'm made the effort to draw a fanart picture with a Friend: )
I don't think I will be coloring it. I stink at coloring and shading. 

Overall the picture is looking surprisingly well though in some areas it look kind of big from afar but heck. Give a girl who draw Stick People comics some credit.


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## Steve French (Sep 17, 2012)

I wandered past a display in the bookstore the other day. It prominently displayed Mark Manson's "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a ****" and about ten other books that essentially copied it, all noted as best sellers. Many carried titles that to me damn near bordered on plagiarism. Perhaps if you want to be successful with your art, you have to throw creativity out the window, and just ride the latest trend. Maybe it just has to be particularly inspired hack work. I should write up some erotica or a self-help book. I mean, it's nice to scratch that creative itch, but it would be even nicer to get some pay off of it. Get two birds stoned at once.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Well huh. A while back I bought some special gloves for drawing on a tablet without your hand interfering with the work, but they don't work worth crap, it's like your hand is still bare and if the glove touches the screen it leaves marks. Disappointing. I've just been drawing without any bracing for my hand which limits my already limited drawing ability but oh well. I'm used to sucking.

Then yesterday I bought a $10 pair of polyester gloves to protect my hands while roughhousing with the cat. (She's declawed in front, but overcompensates with her back claws and teeth. My hands already take a beating due to repeated washing and chapping, I don't need more injury.) These gloves have faux leather pads on the thumb and first two fingers, presumably to help with texting.








_Was weirdly difficult to get a tablet pic of my sexy gloved hand, so you better enjoy it._

So out of curiosity I tried swiping on my tablet with one. The pads worked. The other fingers didn't. I opened the drawing program and ran my gloved hand all over. Nothing. Didn't even trigger the side menus.

Go figure a dumb Wal-Mart glove does what a special art glove can't. :|

Then for some stupid reason my S Pen stopped working :cry and I had to turn the tablet off and back on to get it back. Don't know what that was about. I misplaced the replacement nibs and tweezers that came with it (ANY OTHER TIME they'd be in the box, but no, not this time! :x ) so I had to buy a third-party replacement which I hope works just as well. UGH.


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## AffinityWing (Aug 11, 2013)

Writing romantic things feels very, very weird. I end up trying it sometimes, for no real reason, but it's very difficult without feeling disgustingly cheesy every single time.



> This person, lived so upright while turning anything he wanted around, at the same time. A confidence that attracted people with too much of it like bloodhounds, and people with too little of it like a mass around a Messiah, but to me he was the most beautiful in his normalcy. Forgetting to turn off the TV, getting a piece of rice stuck on his cheek, putting his tie on wrong in an airheaded hurry. Even though he is like this, I love that about him as well. For he never grows bitter from it, and he would still wear that silly smile. Even when he comes home, barely having slept or eaten the night before, he never says anything of it. It worries me greatly, and I feel once again like the bystander of that day. Why do you smile even when you want to cry? His heart is simply too big, so it is probably because of all those people who cry when they want to smile.





> We've gone to sleep with restless hearts, where the sun is rising in the day of another world. These birds that will chirp in the morning are hiding in the shadows, but their song is still ringing clearly in my thoughts. What kind of world am I in? In this world that we have built together, you stood as a sun that would never set for even a moment and as a singing bird that would make the shadow want to hide itself. That sort of straightforwardness, it is something very endearing to me. Even when you act like a small child, sometimes you manage to look even cooler. Such a person full of contradictions has helped someone like me become more consistent? I really don't understand, but I think he shows many sides too many humans are too shy to express at all. There are too many people all too confident that are still all too shy. In contrast, this person seems a little too shameless, but it's alright. A shameless heart is still a heart, a heart that beats with life more than any other. A shameless heart isn't a shameless mind. Ah, of course, he can work a bit on his mindfullness sometimes, but&#8230; jeez, he really is a kid. He is too honest and defenseless like this. I worry about him in this world that is too dishonest and defensive.


I keep worrying how realistically I portray love in them, since I have absolutely no experience in this sort of thing. I'm sure they must just sound like the idealizations of a hopeless romantic who has just been exposed to too many romance novels and movies. Well, it's not far off. :blush


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

AffinityWing said:


> Writing romantic things feels very, very weird. I end up trying it sometimes, for no real reason, but it's very difficult without feeling disgustingly cheesy every single time.
> 
> I keep worrying how realistically I portray love in them, since I have absolutely no experience in this sort of thing. I'm sure they must just sound like the idealizations of a hopeless romantic who has just been exposed to too many romance novels and movies. Well, it's not far off. :blush


 Coming from someone who is always using too many words whenever I write anything, I think the main issue I see with what you wrote there is it's a bit too wordy where (perhaps) the same thoughts could be communicated with language that condenses what you're trying to say but doesn't detract from the meaning in any way (which I'm very bad at).

I am sure there are a few experienced writers here who could give better advice in that department. I'm not a reader (my attention span stinks and I don't get emotionally invested in fiction very easily).


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## AffinityWing (Aug 11, 2013)

WillYouStopDave said:


> Coming from someone who is always using too many words whenever I write anything, I think the main issue I see with what you wrote there is it's a bit too wordy where (perhaps) the same thoughts could be communicated with language that condenses what you're trying to say but doesn't detract from the meaning in any way (which I'm very bad at).
> 
> I am sure there are a few experienced writers here who could give better advice in that department. I'm not a reader (my attention span stinks and I don't get emotionally invested in fiction very easily).


I've gotten the same comment from other writers, when I attended a writing club at my university last year. Before, I would have an obsessive urge to constantly look up synonyms for almost every word so I would end up being extremely verbose. One of them told me they felt that they had to look up words every two seconds. I feel like I fixed that issue, but I suppose my overall language is still too unconcise, isn't it?

I always suffer from tremendous writer's block and I don't help it much with always writing so organically, with absolutely 0 planning, so I pretty much force myself to write things even I can't clearly understand and have trouble expressing. It's frustrating when it always sounds better in my head... :sigh I've been writing things like this since 6th grade.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

AffinityWing said:


> I've gotten the same comment from other writers, when I attended a writing club at my university last year. Before, I would have an obsessive urge to constantly look up synonyms for almost every word so I would end up being *extremely verbose*.


 But you did it. You just condensed my entire post to two words.


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

Drexciya, those guys were sooo far ahead of there time. Still amazed everytime i listen to their productions.


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## AffinityWing (Aug 11, 2013)

WillYouStopDave said:


> But you did it. You just condensed my entire post to two words.


Hm, well, I've tried to take that criticism into consideration ever since so I am glad if I've improved. Their feedback was amazing and I was really thankful for it. They pointed out many things I had worried about previously but wasn't sure someone would notice, so I was shocked. lol


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## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

Heh.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Gonna buy a ukulele if I get any spare cash. I know, I know... girl with a ukulele cliche but idc


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Someone should make a monster character or video game monster after the bejeweled skeletons


* *


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

It's weird how much of my artwork over the years has included the letter x in places and before I became aware of it's symbolic significance. I also just remembered when I was pretty young there was this building in town with two things on the side don't remember what lights maybe? Square shaped thing? But they had something that ressembled an x in the middle and for some really weird reason I referred to that building/area as x's after that. I don't know why there's lots of weird stuff like this in my childhood like all the obsessive drawings of thousands of tiny people and calling everything I associated with music/sound (including some clothing,) 'lala' but I don't remember that (there is video footage though of me doing that with a church bell when I was a toddler.)

I guess I've always liked the aesthetic of it in names and words too. Nyx, Alex etc.

Which brings us to now and my obsession with IamX. Recently I was also reading another artist's wikipedia page, musician I mean but I forget who. They used x somewhere and it mentioned there that they liked the ambiguity/flexibility because of it's use in maths/logic which I think is more or less why IamX says he likes it too. And he has it tattoed on him (and the rest of the current live band do, and well many fans too actually saw one in a Motionless in White music video recently and was like Hah!) and I have drawn them on the skin of people multiple times over the years as well. Uh artwork people, not real life people haha. Wandering around with a marker pen waiting to strike... >.>

It's also frequently a third gender marker.

(I realise my status is x right now but that's actually a coincidence because I needed to replace whatever the last one was and had no ideas so just stuck in a random letter.)


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

I've been playing around with this sci-fi idea but can't really figure out the specifics....

Basically I thought it would be cool to have a story based around a new development in surgery where they take a device located somewhere around the head and override the neurons in the brain so that while surgery you basically leave your body but I can't decide if you enter a VR (seems too cliche) or maybe they have a robotic body double with sensory/nervous system based technology so that you can move and get sensory experiences out of body as the robot. I like that idea better but it's harder to base a story or come up with a plot line besides that.

I was thinking a person with a chronic illness goes into the hospital and uses this technology in the US PNW. Then that crazy earthquake that we are waiting for finally happens and the hospital shuts down mid surgery. The person obviously gets trapped in this technology or something like that but I can't decide what happens next....

Do they (as the robot or in VR) have to save their corporeal body? Are they just stuck like that forever since their body's nervous system gets damaged in the earthquake? Idek. Can't seem to make it work. It's not like it will ever come to fruition anyway. 

But it's an interesting suspense or possibly horror story.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

one of my sadder hobbies is whenever I'm feeling insecure I reverse image search my stuff and see if other people reposted it or altered my stuff. I guess some people get really upset or angry but it makes me feel flattered and a teeny bit annoyed sometimes when they don't credit me

* *






I'm growing a collection on pinterest lol










also on one post I found the best caption lol

"imagine if ludwig told italy he was a trans man and italy was just like "okay that's cool good for you" and lud had been scared because feli is christian and he was afraid that feli wouldn't accept him but hE DID and lud starts transitioning and feli helps him through it to realize that ve's nonbinary and i'm sorry for killing them have some happy imagines"

my pictures hints or relates to NONE OF THIS by the way bahahaha what


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I need to practice an hour a day beginning now


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## rabidfoxes (Apr 17, 2016)

roxslide said:


> I've been playing around with this sci-fi idea but can't really figure out the specifics....


That's a great seed for a story. Might be one of those where you start writing and the story develops itself? I find this helpful: sit and do nothing but think for about 5 minutes before each writing session, then work on whatever is the best you've come up with. Keeps things moving forward.

You should write it. Even if nothing develops out of it in the end.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

roxslide said:


> Gonna buy a ukulele if I get any spare cash. I know, I know... girl with a ukulele cliche but idc


Bought the ukulele... but it's not coming until the next month


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

rabidfoxes said:


> That's a great seed for a story. Might be one of those where you start writing and the story develops itself? I find this helpful: sit and do nothing but think for about 5 minutes before each writing session, then work on whatever is the best you've come up with. Keeps things moving forward.
> 
> You should write it. Even if nothing develops out of it in the end.


haaa thanks! but I actually don't write. I wish I did though, I love to plan stories. Usually if I'm considering implementing them it's in comic or game form. If I'm dedicated to them enough then I usually create a story board and a development journal/notebook or something. It's difficult to keep things straight just writing casually like in these forums so writing as an art form is particularly intimidating and frustrating for me :cry


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

roxslide said:


> Bought the ukelele... but it's not coming until the next month


 This is interesting. Can you play?


----------



## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

WillYouStopDave said:


> This is interesting. Can you play?


No, I want to learn. I am not a newbie to playing music though, just to ukuleles.


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## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

I need to get back to writing my comic script. Since I decided to re write the opening chapter I haven't been feeling the new opening. It is too much talk. One of my main character is talking to another character I am introducing. This character's role is minor but in my crossover comic he play a major role. I need to have this encounter with my main character just that their exchange of words isn't exactly what I had in mind. I needed to mention 2 things in their conversation in which I did but how it came up in the conversation isn't what I had in mind.

I also want add a few mentions in their conversation but this is causing my opening to be long. On top of this I am struggling to create a personality for the character I am introducing. Since I made the character say "mon" I have the impression that he sound like a Jamaican. lol. He is not Jamaican. "Mon" is street talk in my Doodle World. Similar to the term "gal" for girl "Mon" is like the word "man." If this keep up his speech may end up sounding like a Jamaican. His speech is to sound proper with little to no slang. He also is to replace the word "I" with his street name almost every time he talk. He say "Daddy Coo is cool" instead of "I am cool." He is to use the word "I" only when he cut the street act. This is all the personality I have given him so far and the fact that he is a big liar.

And on top of this when the time come I need to think of my next scene.

Time to re read my script again.

_ Sent by the CIA, the FBI, IOU, and XYZ using Tapatalk_


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I can either adapt a poem about perseverance into lyrics or a poem about sex into lyrics...I always feel self conscious singing about the latter though given my lack of experience and overall awkwardness with dating/sex...really does fit the guitar riffs though in terms of structure and melodies


----------



## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

thought of this song today out of nowhere, so I decided to make a recording:

(warning low-q // no music // offkey)

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1SMY4nh0opx

also reminded me of this: (clever but vapid)










#imjustabagofsunshinearenti #urwelcome


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## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

You're singing is beautiful, bad baby.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Hopefully tomorrow I can sit down and customize my recording programs & make a couple clips for Instagram


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## Smallfry (Oct 11, 2004)

Finally get to tidy up my workspace for the holidays and not having think about making any more orders. Need to keep busy though to avoid getting ill. I have been ill for the last few Christmases so hopefully touch wood, I am ok this year


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Serial killer who keeps their victims in a soundproof room, and records their screams/sounds to use in music tracks.

Inspired by 'hey the editing of the music and multiple screams actually works pretty well together here. That could be an interesting song if only I knew more about music production, oh what if there was some serial killer that did that using their victims.' :blank


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

(Been avoiding my own thread out of anxiety, big surprise.)

I'm not sure if this link is visible or not, but oh well whatever.



http://imgur.com/84TEg3J


This is where I've been putting all my tablet sketches, oldest at the bottom ("Sweet Sassy Molassy"), newest at the top. I add one every day or so since I try to keep up with r/SketchDaily. (Haven't the heart or skill to branch out on my own yet.)

Anyway. Nothing stupendous but there it is (if the link works, which it might not, because I really don't want Imgur folks seeing or voting on my stuff, they seem rather prickly).


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## lackofflife (Mar 24, 2015)

.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Full hollowbody is the resonance of an acoustic with the feel of an electric, it’s quite pretty


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Serial killer who keeps their victims in a soundproof room, and records their screams/sounds to use in music tracks.
> 
> Inspired by 'hey the editing of the music and multiple screams actually works pretty well together here. That could be an interesting song if only I knew more about music production, oh what if there was some serial killer that did that using their victims.' :blank


You can also make some chords or ambient sound with those screams samples by pitching them up/down and mixing them together, it's quite fun. I mean, everything is possible with sound design that's why it's amazing.


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## SparklingWater (Jan 16, 2013)

My riffs are so horrible right now. I've neglected running scales for years and the difference is not only noticeable, but unbearable to listen to lol. I'll start with just chromatics and listening to a lot of music again. And even though it's been more than a decade snce I've been religious, I'll be upping my gospel music consumption. There's no better training course to clean runs than gospel music. Also jazz/blues and r&b.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Tweaked the intonation on the hollowbody tonight, really enjoying this guitar


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## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

I wrote a little poem the other night. I haven't written once since October.

_Sent from Mars using Tapatalk_


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Practicing singing is embarrassing, making mistakes openly, it’s different on an instrument for some reason, how I feel about mistakes


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Been practicing the ukulele, still needs lots of improvement lol. 

Also I'd like to make some patterns that I just want to wear myself like eyeballs and insects and stuff but drawing stuff like that is so tedious lol.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I’ve written out all the whole notes for each string of the guitar on the fretboard, now to memorize them.

Also, it occurs to me that I can use my Bluetooth earbuds as monitors for the metronome on my phone when I film clips of singing/playing for instagram, that way I can keep better time but not have a click track in the final mix for the video


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## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

Looking at the guitar style of T-Bone Walker.


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## Flora20 (Mar 18, 2013)

I hope I can practice violin at least once this week..


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

I'm pissed I can't seem to find the pen for my graphics tablet... which is frustrating because this is the backup tablet to my "professional" tablet that I lost the pen to already.

I probably should just buy the replacement for the original tablet but it's like 60 dollars. For a pen. Wtf. At least the price has gone down a little bit. When I first lost it, it was 80 bucks.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

I'm a total hoarder. I keep random things for years and years if I think I might reuse them one day.

The other day I threw out a ziplock bag of bottle caps I kept for 5+ years because I thought they would be useful for holding paint.

Anyway I was looking through my drawer that's full of weird junk like that and found a baggie with 20+ empty gift cards from different retail jobs. I tried to use them once, I cut them up and glued pieces together to make a dodecahedron out of them... but then I was like "i spent all this time on it but what the hell do I do with this??" Lol I used it as a toy "ball" for my cat until it fell apart

Anywaaaay enough rambling. I have a new idea. I think I will paint different scenes on each of them and space them out and then glue them on a canvas or something and frame it

Now I just have to think of a theme. I might just paint places I want to visit. I'm hoping the acrylic doesn't peel off the smooth plastic. I wonder if I should preemptively sand them or wait and see


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

roxslide said:


> Anywaaaay enough rambling. I have a new idea. I think I will paint different scenes on each of them and space them out and then glue them on a canvas or something and frame it
> 
> Now I just have to think of a theme. I might just paint places I want to visit. I'm hoping the acrylic doesn't peel off the smooth plastic. I wonder if I should preemptively sand them or wait and see


So I just started trying to paint sky scenes and yikes... I didn't think that the fact the cards were plastic would have such a drastic impact on drying time... it took forever just to dry a single layer. Not sure if it's worth all that time to continue


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I don’t even know if I can teach while she’s home from work


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## Suchness (Aug 13, 2011)

I want to see a movie called Calypso get made, an adventure movie like from decades ago shot on film with a lot of sun, yellow and orange colours.


----------



## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Hmm. curious about this website: https://paintberri.com/posts/browse

I'm going to sign up and look to see if there's anything else that's active like it.

Also just spent 70~ dollars on my graphic tablet replacement pen lol

oh well at least I will be able to draw digitally again


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

roxslide said:


> Hmm. curious about this website: https://paintberri.com/posts/browse
> 
> I'm going to sign up and look to see if there's anything else that's active like it.
> 
> ...


 Wacom right? Apparently (and I don't know if you can confirm this) 5 or so years ago their prices were still reasonable. In recent times however, they've come to realised that they're the 'only ice cream shop in town'.

I dread to think what I'm going to have to fork out when I have to replace the plastic nibs. '=|


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Paper Samurai said:


> Wacom right? Apparently (and I don't know if you can confirm this) 5 or so years ago their prices were still reasonable. In recent times however, they've come to realised that they're the 'only ice cream shop in town'.
> 
> I dread to think what I'm going to have to fork out when I have to replace the plastic nibs. '=|


I've been a wacom customer for 10+ years and the prices have always been pretty ridiculous tbh. At least for the "pro" tablet lines.

I've had a bamboo fun, intuos 4, the new "intuos" (aka revamped bamboo fun) and a intuos pro. Never touched the cintiq line

They really are the only tablet provider worth anything though so yeah, it is pretty much a monopoly. I bought a knock off tablet about 5 ish years ago and it was awful.

Which tablet do you have?


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## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

I find myself intrigued by his drumitar despite how ugly it is. :um


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

roxslide said:


> I've been a wacom customer for 10+ years and the prices have always been pretty ridiculous tbh. At least for the "pro" tablet lines.
> 
> I've had a bamboo fun, intuos 4, the new "intuos" (aka revamped bamboo fun) and a intuos pro. Never touched the cintiq line
> 
> ...


 Hmm, I'll have to ask my friend about the price thing again at some point. He seems to think that Wacom nowadays charge for a medium sized tablet what they use to for a large. I bought a pre-owned intuos pro - but not the current edition, the one that came out before it. It seems to my mind at least to be more functional but it doesn't look quite as snazzy when out on the desk.


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## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

I need to get back to writing my comic script. That rewrite set me back. Now that I am over it I still haven't gotten around to typing.

I may write something today.

_ Sent from SPIRITO BAMBITO using Tapatalk_


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

I've decided that tomorrow I am going to dedicate the whole day to learning All Star on the uke so I can annoy the **** out of my little bro next time I see him 

....SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

The cartoon filter on the Clip app on iPhone X is cool but I don’t get why it only edits in a 4:3ish aspect ratio...still, it’s a new toy to experiment with. Now I need to edit some of that singing practice & the poetry reading


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

I'm thinking of giving animation another try. Really simple stuff, nothing crazy. I just got inspired lately.

I'd like to make some animated gifs, possibly animated pixel art or really short looped cartoons.

I think the last time I tried to animate it was at least 5 years ago. I remember working on this (taken from an old blog of mine):










I think I was trying to do some kind of gintama fan animation or something? I remember this was set to this song lol






(yes this is a song from naruto's credits. wow... I was such a weeb. I still like this song though)

aaaaanyway if anyone knows a good 2D animation software let me know, flipaclip seems cool but unfortunately it's a tablet/phone app.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

oh cool, I guess you can make animated gifs on fire alpaca which I already have installed. I guess I'll start with that


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

ugh I really want a www.toyhou.se account now. mostly because it's exclusive and invite only haha. I feel like I'm pimping myself out at this point. I posted on three different threads offering to draw something for a code now lol.

I don't even have that many OCs, I just want to be a part of the club :cry it seems fun

edit: YES!!! someone finally responded after I spammed like 5+ different threads jeez! Let's draw away! Whenever the other people respond I'll have to cancel on them lol yikes


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## kesker (Mar 29, 2011)

Neil Young's not given enough credit for his guitar playing. His chording in Harvest Moon is an example. Learning those chords and rhythms will not get me far but feeling them will. So my goal would be to feel the rhythms of Neil Young on Harvest Moon and to maybe have a bit of a feel for music like he does. I'm digging my toy glockenspiel.....was playing Crimson and Clover by Tommy James and the Shondells on it but it didn't sound as good as Fields of Gold by Sting.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

so I finished the drawing of that person's character, so hopefully I will have access to toyhou.se now. However, the other people responded! I actually really like one of the people's characters, I kind of still want to draw them... I really like drawing people's OCs. Should I draw it for another invite code that I don't need? Anyone else want an invite code...? haha.... if only I had friends.

But she's a pretty elf lady! who doesn't want to draw a pretty elf lady https://toyhou.se/1178361.princess-velyndis?key=3N6EWpU6d3mwkkt

edit: I drew her ... I love her I wish she was my character.


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

I could so draw a elf : /


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I’m such a perfectionist, usually what I produce is decent enough


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

I used to keep a writing log, back when I actually wrote every day. Then along came interstitial cystitis followed by general apathy and discouragement. I wrote a little bit recently and should keep track of it again even though it isn't regular or anything and I'm not sure if it ever will be (lack of readers puts a big damper on being productive).


January 14/15, I think--3357 words, Jay Campion/Leslie Henrick (M/M erotica) (WIP) (Henny-Penny finally got a first name...I made it a unisex name so Campy has yet more reason to make fun of the poor guy)

January 16--987 words, "

January 31-February 1, I think--1266 words, untitled DID story, part 31 (crime/psychological drama) (FINISHED) (was actually started quite a while back--July 2018, I believe--but I got stuck)

February 1, I think--1714 words, untitled DID story, part 32 (crime/psychological drama) (WIP)

Didn't get to work on it yesterday as my computer decided to keep crashing for some reason. Maybe tonight.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

February 3/4--1344 words, untitled DID story, part 32 (crime/psychological drama) (WIP)


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## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

I was thinking about this space photo I found on the NASA website several years ago. I forgot the name of this photo but when I first saw it I started to see things in it. I tried to draw what I saw. There are demons in this photo. I see Satan on the left, Yeshua {Jesus} on the bottom right with his crown of thorns. His face glow with yellow. Then there are skulls in a river of some sort of liquid. I see it as blood. Then there are somewhat 4 other demons stretched out from the "Satan-like" figure from left to right. 

The 1st one is burning with blue, yellow and bright pale yellow. I'm not sure if this thing is a demon or not. I think it is a person's soul because it is blue and fiery. 

The one next to it I didn't finish outlining. From what I see is a demon-looking thing. I swear I clearly see a face. It is an unsightly looking thing.

The 3rd one is hard to tell if it is a demon or not. It doesn't look unsightly. I think it is another poor soul because it look somewhat similar to the 1st one color-wise. It has a faint burning fiery glow. 

The last on, the 4th one I don't know what it is. A goblin-looking thing or a poor soul but he look sad. 

I haven't outlined it but I also see what appear to be a woman figure with some sort of veil over here hair/head over Ysshua {Jesus} gesturing the praying hands. The praying hands is the brownish-orange smoke-like cloud above Yeshua's {Jesus' head} The outline of the woman looking down is the ashy blue color with some brown/redish coloring like hair.

Call me and my imagination crazy but I be seeing stuff. If only people saw what I see.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

February 4--535 words, untitled DID story, part 32 (crime/psychological drama) (FINISHED)

Would've written more but that's the end of that part and it's late since I wasted the day. :/


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Well crud. Just realized I haven't updated my writing blog/site with these. Guess that's for tomorrow if I remember.


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## 8888 (Oct 16, 2014)

There's this cool place by me that has candle making classes with seasonal themes. I'm really hoping they have one for St. Patrick's Day that I can go to but so far the schedule isn't posted.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Finally came up with surnames for a bunch of my Minot characters in preparation for writing up profiles (not that most of these will be getting their own any time soon, but still, it's nice to fill in the blanks).


* *





Cultists Melissa (Sgt. Mark Kincaid's bait) and Becky (Det. Wesley Singer's bait/contact) are now Melissa Church and Rebecca Frost. Prostitutes Brianna, Eli, and Lori are now Brianna Duchamp, Eli Leblanc, and Lori Monday. Sgt. Mark Kincaid's agoraphobic neighbor/former flame Emma is now Emma Hemstad. I previously mentioned Jay Campion's cult handler Henrick receiving the first name Leslie. (He's also obtained a tragic backstory of his own. Explains why he hates "junkie w****s" like Campy so much. Well. Until he realizes he's attracted to Campy. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) Prison guard Jeffries, the only one astute enough not to fall for Chad Jenner's sociopathy, is now Keith Jeffries. Deputy Tracy Hatcher's sadistic abductors, Perry and Lou, are now Perry Kohler and Lou Smolak. Russell Whittaker's former boyfriend Bryan is now Bryan Napolitano. (Fortunately he doesn't show up in recent events since there's another Bryan, Trooper Condry...) Det. Chance Devetko's late boyfriend Page now FINALLY has a last name, Novak. (To be honest I was never quite sure if "Page" was his first or his last name. :con ) Lt. Alan Kincaid's old acquaintance Jenna is now Jenna Ramsey (plus the story of their relationship is a LOOOOOOT different now from the original.) Falcon's Nest bartender/waitress Mariposa (who I don't think has actually appeared in anything yet) is now Mariposa Toledano. Stan Brooks's abusive a-hole ex-boyfriend Will(iam) now FINALLY has the last name Travers. Det. Justin Reichert's timid neighbor Tina (who ends up saving his life after he's stabbed) (just remembered, I have to add the perpetrator to this list) is now Tina Webber. Det. Max Kristeva's (trans) ex-GF Danielle has FINALLY gotten the last name Windrow. And Campion's (also trans) prostitute GF/confidante Manuela has FINALLY gotten the last name Zamorano.




(Yes, this series is weird.)


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

It shouldn't be legal to sell art commissions depicting celebrities or some other person who isn't present to agree to be in the picture....

I get that line can be pretty blurry, like merch with people's faces on it for example, or depicting a scene of a celebrity who's playing a character in a movie... (I personally think characters are a different realm, I know some people disagree with that.)

But something about manipulating someone else's image/likeness for money is just really skeevy idek. Just my opinion I guess.

Sorry, I was looking through a hentai art site and saw an artist who is selling and even advertising R18 commissions depicting celebrities. Here's their description:



> "Would you like pictures of real people (friends, relatives,famous people) - please ... I can help ... "


So. Despite criticizing it I have actually sold a commission myself that was like that (G rated though!!). Maybe that's why I feel somewhat strongly about it. I was part of an art commission website/network thing, so I felt obligated to produce it but I did not like drawing it and the request actually made me pretty uncomfortable. I believe this guy was an investor of the website or something.

This guy asked that I draw his portrait of him standing next to Nicki Minaj as if she was his girlfriend. I drew it but yeah, as I scroll past the image in my files I always feel kind of icky. idek. It's funny because I've drawn some stuff that is actually really messed up or explicit but that pic makes me more uncomfortable.


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## Scorpius (Feb 26, 2010)

roxslide said:


> I've been a wacom customer for 10+ years and the prices have always been pretty ridiculous tbh. At least for the "pro" tablet lines.
> 
> I've had a bamboo fun, intuos 4, the new "intuos" (aka revamped bamboo fun) and a intuos pro. Never touched the cintiq line
> 
> ...


I've been using an old wacom tablet the original one for years and it's still working fine..I remember buying it used in like new condition with its original box from ebay for like $50 which was a pretty good price back then. It looks like this one:










Now there are like 100s of different models and other brands, it's hard to choose a tablet. And yea the wacom intuos and cintiq prices are ridiculous.

My first tablet though was one called pablo and the pen was connected with a short wire to the tablet..lol..it was pretty ****ty compared to the wacom intuos specially the pressure sensitivity of the pen.
You can find it on ebay still..it says $20 rebate on the box if anyone is interested though i wouldn't recommend it..lmao

https://www.ebay.com/itm/Pablo-Inte...132138555583?_trksid=p2385738.m4383.l4275.c10

There are a lot of new brands now that make cheaper regular tablets and screen tablets like the cintiq but not sure if they are worth it.

I don't think a big cintiq is worth it for home or office use regardless if it's wacom or other brand. The only advantage would be if it's portable and you can take outside. 
The new wacom cintiq 16 is nice and portable but the price is still ridiculous at $650.
There's another brand the xp-pen artist 15.6 for $360..that's the lowest price i can find on a screen tablet but honestly that's still kinda ridiculous..lol
I do think the prices are going to drop soon though because the competition is catching up.

BTW which knock off tablet did you try in the past and didn't like?


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Scorpius said:


> I've been using an old wacom tablet the original one for years and it's still working fine..I remember buying it used in like new condition with its original box from ebay for like $50 which was a pretty good price back then. It looks like this one:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I forget what model but the brand was Huion, which is actually a pretty popular brand for tablets. The sensitivity was not great, setting it up was kind of a pain and then what really threw me was my pen actually broke and became completely unusable when I was replacing the battery for it after a few months.

I guess I took the battery-less wacom pens for granted. sheesh.


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## Scorpius (Feb 26, 2010)

roxslide said:


> I forget what model but the brand was Huion, which is actually a pretty popular brand for tablets. The sensitivity was not great, setting it up was kind of a pain and then what really threw me was my pen actually broke and became completely unusable when I was replacing the battery for it after a few months.
> 
> I guess I took the battery-less wacom pens for granted. sheesh.


That really sucks..yea i'm not sure if i would like changing batteries for the pen..how long did the batteries last though?

I also noticed that the screen tablets i mentioned are actually not that portable since they still have to be connected to a pc or laptop to work..it's very tricky buying one because of all the different features.

I guess a real portable one would be like the wacom studio pro or an Ipad pro but their prices are also crazy..lol..funny thing is the Ipad pro is like half the price of the wacom yet still kinda expensive.

The good thing is that you really don't need any of these expensive tablets..a regular tablet will do just fine for the most part. Sure they would be nice to have but their prices don't really justify their few advantages at least to me.


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## 8888 (Oct 16, 2014)

I really do have too many scrapbooking supplies, even more than I thought. I should really start scrapbooking again.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I waste far too much time distracting myself when I could be working on music and poetry


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Been drawing more but feeling pretty uninspired bleh

I wish I could find something to be excited about, nothing interests me right now


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

roxslide said:


> Been drawing more but feeling pretty uninspired bleh
> 
> I wish I could find something to be excited about, nothing interests me right now


 When that happens to me, I usually just go to bed and sleep. Of course that doesn't really fix the problem overnight. I usually wake up the next day feeling pretty much the same. And every day after. That is when I go into "basic living" mode and just don't try to get excited about anything other than survival and routine. When your body is happy and healthy, your mind wants to be alive and inspired. I usually eventually wake up one day feeling refreshed and like I actually want to do something that interests me.

Really, it might sound weird for someone to tell you that you sound tired when you just slept and you're wide awake. I find that I'm usually mentally exhausted when I start feeling bored and uninspired and so forth.


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## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

1) I rented an alto saxophone today for the first time in years. (results here in case anyone's morbidly curious :um).

2) I have a bad habit of coming up with musical fragments that I believe have potential and just forgetting about them entirely. But lately I've actually put some effort into trying to add on to something I came up with on piano, I have a few ideas but so far, nothing that exciting really.

The idea that I have real potential as a composer is something I guess I'm desperately hanging on to. If I were to give up on playing music entirely I don't think I'd have too much going for me to be honest. :\


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

I've been interested in coming up with _spooky scary _ monsters lately but they all wind up looking pretty childish and lame. I came up with one that I think is kind of eerie but it's not really what I was going for. We'll see.

I think my two favorite monsters are the Pale Man and Penanggalan (floating head of a woman with her entrails) for scariness factor of the design.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

I just had this random idea for a short comic or something. I'm trying to think of names that would be a funny pun on flies.

Elvizzz
Jeff? (For Jeff Goldblum lol)

That's really all I have lol.

But yeah I have no idea where I want to go with it. It's probably going to be disturbing because most of my ideas are. :stu


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

It’s somewhat inspiring to hear professional touring musicians make mistakes, particularly when singing, it makes me feel like my own challenges singing are just a part of it all, even for the best of the best


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

tehuti88 said:


> Finally came up with surnames for a bunch of my Minot characters in preparation for writing up profiles (not that most of these will be getting their own any time soon, but still, it's nice to fill in the blanks).
> 
> 
> * *
> ...


Two more.


* *





Capt. Bernarda Arraiza, Det. Rosedale's current boss (took Sgt. Virtanen's place after his death) (just noticed I never mentioned Virtanen, probably because it looks like I didn't mention any of my characters who got new full names); and Alexandra Lang, Rosedale's former housemate/BF/confidante.

Hm. I didn't notice I had only mentioned characters who already had a first name, so this post is rather useless since I have a LOT more who got entirely new names. :/

Kidnappers Rich and Stella seem to be missing. Big oops.


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## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

@tehuti88

Interesting. There is a lot of characters there.

Are you going to focus on some characters at a time when telling the story?

Like maybe 3x characters and how they bump into each other in say a church or similar?

I'm seeing a very Southern America theme to this story, going by the characters, church, etc.

In addition, when we did computer character development, we made drawings of the characters. Helps to describe things about the character, what they are wearing, draw story boards, etc.

To be honest you should try flip book animation, as your drawings are really good and I think your stories would be best told with actual visual characters (not just written, which is the first stage of the process).


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Uniman said:


> @*tehuti88*
> 
> Interesting. There is a lot of characters there.
> 
> ...


These are actually lots of different stories that kind of blend together here and there (was originally intended to be a series of novels, and related side stories/backstories, but lately I've just been combining parts into like this big ongoing story). I do have a very large cast of characters but they appear at different times/in different stories (for example, a few of them are deceased by the time the story I'm telling right now is taking place, and appear only in flashback or backstories, and many of them I haven't written about yet).



> I'm seeing a very Southern America theme to this story, going by the characters, church, etc.


Oh goodness no...I've never written anything remotely like that. ops This is actually mostly set in Minot, North Dakota (a place I've never been to BTW) and is about a criminal Satanic cult. (Morbid, I know.)



> In addition, when we did computer character development, we made drawings of the characters. Helps to describe things about the character, what they are wearing, draw story boards, etc.
> 
> To be honest you should try flip book animation, as your drawings are really good and I think your stories would be best told with actual visual characters (not just written, which is the first stage of the process).


Unfortunately, I'm no good at drawing any of my characters. :sigh


----------



## Crisigv (Aug 3, 2013)

I feel like I might want to make a couple jewelry pieces soon. I have so many supplies.


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Crisigv said:


> I feel like I might want to make a couple jewelry pieces soon. I have so many supplies.


What kind of jewelry do you make?


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

It’s very different making a guitar lesson video vs one on one in person, good to know if I do any kind of lessons tube page


----------



## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

tehuti88 said:


> These are actually lots of different stories that kind of blend together here and there (was originally intended to be a series of novels, and related side stories/backstories, but lately I've just been combining parts into like this big ongoing story).


Sounds interesting. I can sort of picture setting out the act structures and start, beginning and filling the rest in with side stories/backstories. Then picking the catchy name.



tehuti88 said:


> I do have a very large cast of characters but they appear at different times/in different stories (for example, a few of them are deceased by the time the story I'm telling right now is taking place, and appear only in flashback or backstories, and many of them I haven't written about yet).


I noticed some have used the different order of the act structures, like with Pulp Fiction (movie script), where inter mix stories, act structures from different stories.

Like for example, most use the 123 act structure for stories. With Pulp Fiction they said they used like as an example, with abc being the different stories, characters and 123 the act structures.

1a1b1c then 2a2b2c then 3a3b3c.

That is kind of what I was thinking when seeing so many characters and taking into account what you are saying.



tehuti88 said:


> Oh goodness no...I've never written anything remotely like that. ops This is actually mostly set in Minot, North Dakota (a place I've never been to BTW) and is about a criminal Satanic cult. (Morbid, I know.)


Can always use Google maps as reference material to describe background (screen capture). Sounds like a Ghost Rider movie type of theme.



tehuti88 said:


> Unfortunately, I'm no good at drawing any of my characters. :sigh


Going by what I'm seeing, you might be a life drawing type of person, so have to see something infront of you to draw well.

That means reference material like photo's of objects people wear or are in the room, people that closely match your characters look, etc, which most use when drawing characters, storyboards, etc.

With movies they use location scouting photo's, actors photo's, lots of reference material to create story boards, etc. Those amazing drawings one sees with movies don't just come out of peoples heads, they use rēference material.

Sometimes people create the characters (if cartoon or 3D type) in modelling clay, paint, etc. They use photo's of peoples body types, etc as reference to do so (copy).

When doing this you could be out and about shopping, etc and take hundreds of photo's of things you like. Can become obsessive if like doing that.



Crisigv said:


> I feel like I might want to make a couple jewelry pieces soon. I have so many supplies.


Now one wonders what you are making. :sus


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## Crisigv (Aug 3, 2013)

tehuti88 said:


> What kind of jewelry do you make?


 @Uniman

Nothing special. Some necklaces and bracelets. Also, a watch. Want to try wire wrapping a ring.


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## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

Crisigv said:


> @Uniman
> 
> Nothing special. Some necklaces and bracelets. Also, a watch. Want to try wire wrapping a ring.


Sounds interesting.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

oooooh what about a visual novel?????

I don't have a story though hm.

I really wish I could pair up with a writer sometimes, sigh. 

It would be cool to make a horror visual novel though. There's really only 3 different genres of visual novel imo, eroge, dating sim or horror. The other two are pretty boring. 

I just need to come up with a horror story I guess. EaSY PeAsy......


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## Crisigv (Aug 3, 2013)

Uniman said:


> Sounds interesting.


It's stupid


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## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

Crisigv said:


> It's stupid


Not really. I used to make jewellery like things from flax, metal, etc.

Simple things are often the most interesting looking.


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## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

roxslide said:


> oooooh what about a visual novel?????
> 
> I don't have a story though hm.
> 
> ...


I think it'd be interesting to see a visual novel go the opposite route of Doki Doki Literature Club by starting out as horror but ending up a dating sim. I know you said that's a boring genre, but would getting to date a monster make things more interesting? :um


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I need to learn AD/DC’s Back In Black before my lesson tomorrow at noon. Also, could have a new idea for a jazz tune that switches between a diatonic scale and a harmonic minor scale, interesting concept I don’t completely understand but at least initially seems like it’ll work


----------



## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

I came up with a dope design idea while walking around town but I haven't drawn it yet. I'm writing this post to remind myself to draw it when I get home


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

emofuri..... is horrifying

* *















(not my art, it's from this tutorial)

I think it would be good to use for a horror animation though because it's super creepy valley imo (even though it's not human like at all)


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

I'm obsessed with the combination of greens and reds lately

I used to hate that combo because it reminds me of xmas but there's so many creative ways to use those colors besides a xmas theme


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

I've actually been meaning to draw something inspired by that and also other creepy butterfly things.

Like this (warning, creepy):


* *





https://vimeo.com/211697322

I actually really like this artist's work.

I was going to post it on the "post art you like" thread but I thought it was probably a bit much.


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## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

I put so much effort into transcribing the first few bars of a solo, and I was planning on posting the results in a Facebook group that's been my primary way of connecting with fans of a certain artist these past few years. After taking a look at transcriptions other folks have done, I realized that mine would stand out, and not in a good way :\










(the 2nd page is _supposed_ to be an in-progress polishing up of the 1st one!)

I remember posting something with little to no rhythmic notation back in 2016, and at least one person was still interested in seeing it even after I warned them I had no idea how to notate rhythm properly. I'm having trouble finding that exchange now though. Maybe it's because SAS isn't the only site with a terrible search function. But what if the mods really judged that it was a waste of paper and deleted it due to lack of quality? :um

The educational value was only half my reason for transcribing it. I haven't talked to fans or musicians in this artists' circle for months, and I thought it'd be a great way to connect with some of them again. But I feel like this is too embarrassing to post, or at the very least I'd have to give a clear warning of my mediocrity before sharing it.

It's so discouraging, you can see on the 2nd page that I figured out the key signature and got rid of all the unnecessary flat signs. I thought that was some real progress. :\

I'm not sure what time it's in, but at least I know triplets when I hear them huh.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Looking at other people's animations on http://flipanim.com and getting truly depressed lol :cry

edit:
Also I forgot to say. I think the reason my quality of work has gone south recently is the fact that I am currently not using reference pics at all or even trying to improve at all. I'm just doodling whatever I think looks cool or going with my brain has come up. So my anatomy,lighting or anything based in reality is terrible right now. But... I don't care. It's kind of fun, just going with whatever my brain thinks up. For lack of a better word, it's the creative version of mental masturbation. It's satisfying but doesn't really amount to anything worth while.


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## BlenderGuy (Mar 16, 2019)

Thinking about how I want to proceed with a 3D sculpt I've been working on. I've had little energy to work on it but I've kinda picked it up again. This weekend I made a very basic low-poly model... it felt good to open up Blender again and make something but I felt guilty for not pushing myself. Still, working in 3D feels nice to me so I want to compile a list of little ideas I can make when I have low energy so I can have a self esteem boost when I need it.

Here's the thing I made the other day, by the way. Nothing exciting. A dumbbell just happened to be the first thing to come to mind, which worked out since it only required one low-poly cylinder to make.


* *















Here's another low-poly project I just casually work on whenever I feel like it... I should pick it up again.


* *
























Still mostly learning how to do 3D stuff but it's fun and relaxing.


----------



## 8888 (Oct 16, 2014)

There's this craft supply swap-meet thing I may go to. I have to see if I have enough stuff I don't want to make it worthwhile.


----------



## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

I'm going to write a sci-fi comedy screenplay.


----------



## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

I tried to mess with some online music making tools and wow. big yikes


----------



## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

I haven't been able to produce anything I like lately


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Been chickenly avoiding my own thread since I last asked another user a question and then was too terrified to read any reply lest I be drawn into a conversation I couldn't fulfill. Maybe it's better if I just post in here and try not to interact unless somebody else initiates it. :sigh

Anyway just been doing crap art for r/SketchDaily and character profiles, as usual.


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Oh. I think I've _vaguely_ figured out what layers do, though I've been too chicken so far to actually try them, since 1. they don't seem to have all the functionality I'd hoped (at least, not in this free app), and 2. knowing my luck I'd probably lock up the app and crash it.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

The effects pedals that use batteries are set now, just need to find the power adapter for the one that doesn’t use battery power. Also, I need a midi cable for the keyboard/controller, & another mic stand


----------



## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

Even though typing my Comic Stories on my laptop has helped me to see my story in one whole chapter page instead of several pages on loosely paper I still miss using a pencil to write it all out. I could go back to paper and pencil just that I would waste a lot of paper omiting a lot of my script. Typing help me to easily remove something I don't want. And typing helps me to see my story on a larger scale vs one sheet of paper at a time. I get more creative juices flowing from typing than I do writing. Maybe in the near future when I have a ton of 5 Subject Notebooks I will go back to the pencil.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I need two mic stands, two midi cables and some extra car cables at a bare minimum


----------



## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

I just passed 10,000 words in the novel I'm writing. 70,000 words to go! Or maybe it will be a short novel of 50,000 words or so.


----------



## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

I realized recently that blowing into my saxophone doesn't feel as satisfying as exhaling normally does. I catch myself taking a break from playing just to breathe out through my nose like normal, and not because I've run out of breath. This is probably something I should look into but I'm not exactly sure how to word it for a google search :um

Also I keep procrastinating on giving this circular breathing tutorial on youtube a try.


----------



## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

I've been keeping an archive of most my art on tumblr for years now. But I'm not sure why... It's password protected and no one else can see it lol. I used to stalk artists that kept up a huge gallery of most of their work so I've always coveted one myself but it's too scary to make public, esp since I have some bad stuff on there. Not so much now that tumblr deleted some of my posts though


----------



## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

Passed 20k words. I'm not sure if this story has much more in it. It might just be a novella.


----------



## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

The fact that the piano is something you play indirectly compared to other instruments bothers me in some weird, OCD(?) kind of way. How the real action is the hammers hitting the strings and not the hands ‘tickling the ivories’, or how strumming a guitar with a pick is still more direct and closer to the source of the sound than pressing a key is.

I don’t think organs or synthesizers bother me as much in that regard, even though they probably should. :um


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

PLAAAAAAAAAANETS! This is my first use of more than one layer! :yay


This looks a whole lot better on my tablet...

Granted...I just had the one starry background layer, then the planet/comet layer. ops And the functionality wasn't quite as I'd hoped, since I couldn't blur/smudge the comets (which were briefly their own layer) without it blurring the separate background layers in too. (How does that make sense? Erase didn't affect the background but blur did? :con ) So...I have yet to figure out what else I can do with these. Plus more functionality (like transparency of some kind) is apparently limited unless I want to pay up. Anyway.


----------



## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

tehuti88 said:


> PLAAAAAAAAAANETS! This is my first use of more than one layer! :yay
> 
> 
> This looks a whole lot better on my tablet...
> ...


Yay! It looks awesome! What app/program are you using out of curiosity?


----------



## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

gdi. My lisa frank drawing is too big for my laptop to handle. Idg how artists draw with such big files and don't have any problems (my file is approx 6000x7000 pixels)


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## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

I need another couple of chapters. Shall I add a murder or drug bust for conflict?


----------



## donistired (Nov 29, 2018)

I have flash fiction type stuff that I'd like to share with my friends to see what they think and because writing this stuff and keeping it to myself defeats the purpose. Even thought about trying to get some of it published. Just kind of, at the same time, I would prefer people to know less about me and have less to speculate about me, because these works are very much so a mirror to my own psychological struggles and ways of feeling/thinking.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I’ve forgotten how much of signal chain in digital audio workstations is trial & error. I suppose it is with analog gear too though. It took me days to figure out how to get the MIDI keyboard controller to work in Acid Pro. Then it took me forever to figure out setting up my Behringer audio mixer & the M-Audio interface so that I can record from them both at the same time. It’s quite satisfying when one figures it out though


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## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

Recently {like a few weeks ago} I wrote a few dialogues for my "Stickective" comic. Today though I wrote one dialogue. I'm not stuck. It just feel like a steep hill I am climbing very slowly. Once I get over this hill I would feel like this Story Arc has finally begun. On top of this I still need to write "Forbidden Love." I haven't wrote anything on my Story Arc 3 since late last year. So far it is a cat and mouse {more like a dog} game with them. It is too early for me to make Sweety and Athens to be more serious. I think a few more whacky damsel in distress predicaments will do for now.

_ Sent from the Eagle using Tapatalk_


----------



## 8888 (Oct 16, 2014)

I got to make something for this autism art project thing that I'm participating in. I'll probably do an abstract 6x6 inch acrylic painting on canvas.


----------



## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Yes! Found a pixel art animation mobile app :mushy


----------



## kesker (Mar 29, 2011)

I'm beginning a database with music I'll want to include on a music blog which I have no idea how to do. I would like to focus a portion on local music, a portion on new music and a portion on odd music and maybe have a feature where songs could be constructed cooperatively by listeners. Like maybe each song is constructed by ten listeners and then featured every week or something......


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Seems I can’t power the MIDI keyboard via USB direct to my laptop and run out of the M-Audio sound card via the MIDI ports, USB signal takes precedence apparently, I’ll have to run the USB to a power adaptor and see how that goes


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

roxslide said:


> Yes! Found a pixel art animation mobile app :mushy


Nvm. The drawing tool sucks. I guess I'll stick with dotpict sigh


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## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

I’ve learned a few major scales on saxophone, but I’m not sure if learning the corresponding pentatonic scales first would be a good idea or not. Whenever I tried improvising with only the notes of C major pentatonic, it just feels like I don’t have enough notes and I’m tempted to fill it in with notes from the major scale, but I guess that just speaks for my lack of creativity.  Or to put it more positively, I guess that’s more reason why I should continue to mess around with the pentatonic scales and hopefully improve at improvising.


----------



## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

**** you latency !, i'm gonna get a sync gen II pro in 2 weeks.
Tired of those latencies problems with ableton and my synths, dealing with that **** for wayyyy too long.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Overdrive said:


> **** you latency !, i'm gonna get a sync gen II pro in 2 weeks.
> Tired of those latencies problems with ableton and my synths, dealing with that **** for wayyyy too long.


Took me a minute to sort out latency issues in my rig recently too, it's very annoying but luckily I solved it. That said I don't use many synth style gear so I'd imagine it can be a huge issue if you have a number of them


----------



## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

Canadian Brotha said:


> Took me a minute to sort out latency issues in my rig recently too, it's very annoying but luckily I solved it. That said I don't use many synth style gear so I'd imagine it can be a huge issue if you have a number of them


Glad you solved it.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Overdrive said:


> Glad you solved it.


You manage to get yours sorted?


----------



## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

This is REALLY cool. I love it.


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

Canadian Brotha said:


> You manage to get yours sorted?


Not yet, i'm waiting for this sync box to arrive, it's coming from Australia.
Got a good deal on it.


----------



## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

Need an idea for a scene at a bar. Should it be someone talking rationally about the economy or someone going off on a crazy rant?


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Overdrive said:


> Not yet, i'm waiting for this sync box to arrive, it's coming from Australia.
> Got a good deal on it.


What's the sync box? I'm curious.


----------



## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

Canadian Brotha said:


> What's the sync box? I'm curious.


 This one :

https://www.innerclocksystems.com/products/sync-gen-iipro


----------



## 8888 (Oct 16, 2014)

I wish I enjoyed painting more, I used to love it but not anymore.


----------



## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

32k words in my story. Another 8k and it's officially a novel.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Overdrive said:


> This one :
> 
> https://www.innerclocksystems.com/products/sync-gen-iipro


Cool, interesting to learn about new toys.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I seriously need a laptop specifically for audio/visual projects and the one for general use, it would be the ideal setup truthfully. Plus my laptop is held together on a shoe string


----------



## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

and now I have a synthesizer that makes cat noises lol. I think I am gonna start getting into modding. time to pick up some solder and and iron and start bending circuits!


----------



## Cherrycarmine (Apr 19, 2015)

I've found it easier to write dialogue-only vignettes than actual stories (as practice at least). There's only one of the vignettes that I've been trying to make into an actual story but I haven't really felt inspired to complete it lately.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Lessons with a new student this evening, should be interesting


----------



## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

man I'm pissed at myself for not being as productive as I was as a teen/young adult

when you compare how prolific I was to now it's really pathetic


----------



## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

I'll probably think of this whenever I hear a bagpipe from now on. :um

Also I listened to Sunn O))) for the first time in a while and realized I could easily get 10 minute-long tracks based on some of the riffs I've come up with.


----------



## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

I am thinking about creating a Tumblr account. It can become tiring interaction with a lot of people. I'm use to spending my time creatively and being in my own corner. Tumblr can help this. 


In the past I use to have an accoint. 3-4 accounts at different times but I had no use for them so I deleted them. I want to blog about my little Comic Stuff. And maybe encourage people who feel like their artwork is bad that they can draw and create a grand story too. 


I also want to try to create a Cartoon Theme Blog. This idea is a new one for me. This would be a whacky blog. Cartoon theories, going down memory lane. A fun and funny kind of blog. 


Another blog would be another for fun, personal main blog. Like a "Thought of the Moment" blog I write here on SAS. Just something I had one before. 


Then there is my favorite. The Blog I want to recreate again. My Hot Anime Guy blog where I posted nothing but the best hottest Hot Anime Guy Ever. It was my Hot Anime Guy Harem. I use to search for some really Hot Anime Guys photos in the past when I was in my early 20's but I stopped. Now I want to recreate the blog again. I have good taste.


----------



## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

how on earth am I gonna find out what studio gear someone used to make a specific videogame soundtrack? i've already asked on a forum related to that game with no luck and i'm too socially anxious to ask them directly. :/
this is one thing that sucks about social anxiety ,never knowing the answer to specific things because of an inability to ask a specific person. end up just going through life not knowing the answer to it. i'm glad i have the internet, without it i wouldn't be able to know half the stuff i know but i still face this problem every now and then.


----------



## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

I thought of a nickname for a character in my "Stickective" story. This Stick Person Guy always have to add in their "2 cent" to everything this other Stick Person Guy have to say. He is their assistant. You see the other guy you see the assistant. And he has a tendency of speaking for the other guy. I'm going to have my Stickective Crew refer to this guy as Side-d**k when they talk about him behind closed door because that is what this guy. Like a sidekick. Instead of kick it will be the other word. {My sense of humor kicking in no pun here.} 


I named the guy Edgor. Like the name Igor: a disfigured creature who worked for a mad scientist. My guy Edgor isn't disfigured though. He is just an assistant to a Stick Person government offical named Congress. This guy really IS Congress.


----------



## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

My Twitter author account consists of: 5% pimping new stories; 10% pimping other people's stories; 85% trolling other users.


----------



## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

Passed 41k words in my novel. Now, it's just a matter of fleshing out the story.


----------



## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

i'm spending hours just doodling with synths making all manner of odd noises, not sure how much of this is usable? I often feel torn about where to take things after i've done stuff. do I just let it flow and follow where ever it goes in a freestyle jam? or do I chop it up or layer it differently. it can go in potentially wildly different directions.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

This noise reduction VST is solid but there just a tid bit of sonic distortion and I can’t tell if it’d really be a factor until I do a full band mix. Also, I’ve not yet messed with the settings to see if I can negate what I’m hearing directly in the VST settings


----------



## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

This list of synonyms for "contemptible" is a perfect summary of my oeuvre:



> despicable, detestable, hateful, reprehensible, deplorable, loathsome, odious, revolting, execrable, unspeakable, heinous, shocking, offensive


On some level, I feel like I should feel bad about that. It's just not the level I spend all my time in.


----------



## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

Something just happened in an early chapter of my novel during a fleshing out of the story that affects a later chapter. I'm going to have to do a reorg or something. Not too big of a deal with the editor I'm using.


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I saw this on tumblr:










And the woman reminded me of this really **** drawing I did years ago and then Photoshopped, because of the colouring similarities, (there's also a really bad animatic that I made for uni that she appears in, in different positions which is even worse,) But of course the above version is actually good and I can't draw people, or paint textures properly. It made me think of the person who tried to fix that Church painting too lol. or those expectations vs reality memes.


----------



## TinyFlutter (Jun 19, 2011)

I hope I can finish the draft of a tattoo to show it to my artist so he can create the final design before my appointment next week.


----------



## Cherrycarmine (Apr 19, 2015)

I should've wrote the current story I'm working on in the first person instead of third limited. It took me weeks after I started writing to realize that the first person POV would work better since the story only has two characters in it (it's part of a series that I've been working on for a few years). Or maybe I'm just being dumb?


----------



## TheForestWasDark (May 23, 2015)

The Scientist is a nice song, but it hits me in the feels and I just get depressed practising it.. on to the next one


----------



## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

I should create a personal Vision Board for myself. I made one for my Family and I as a whole. I had some things in it that I would like to have and see happen. Like having my dream dog, joy, spirituality, art studio, strength, Love, God. Etc. Stuff like that but nothing really REALLY deep. Something like Anxiety Free, Highly Confident, Brave, Free Spirit, Emotionally Balance. Smarter. Etc. Personal development stuff. I forgot about myself...I guess I have a hard time seeing this.


----------



## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Spent like 3 hours trying to sculpt a little face out of sculpey, inspired by the succubus tutorial that I posted a while ago. 

So difficult! I kind of gave up on the eyes... I'll just paint the details on I guess. I'm not done... we'll see how it goes.

It's covered in tiny cat hairs too unfortunately. I can't really do anything about it.

--

Idk if this is truly "creative" but I had an idea to create a tree ID guide. I'm going to collect and press leaves of different trees that I run into on my hikes... glue them on to pages and then note different details like name, location, description and possible uses.


----------



## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

I'm researching some writers to help me develop my style. I haven't found that one writer who I can use as a role model yet, though.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Mixing any kind of vocals into other audio is by far the most challenging task for me, still on that learning curve


----------



## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

I'm really pissed. I put all my art together (10+ years worth) on a usb and I've lost it. I've been looking for it for a couple weeks.

It's ok. I still have most of it on my laptop and my desktop but I'm pretty sure I've lost some stuff and progress on a few different files. It's negligible I guess. I just thought it would be smart to have my art files on a portable usb so I don't have to load down my laptop with it. I think I'll try to make another one and if I lose that I'll just ****ing give up and buy a cloud membership ugh.


----------



## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

roxslide said:


> I'm really pissed. I put all my art together (10+ years worth) on a usb and I've lost it. I've been looking for it for a couple weeks.
> 
> It's ok. I still have most of it on my laptop and my desktop but I'm pretty sure I've lost some stuff and progress on a few different files. It's negligible I guess. I just thought it would be smart to have my art files on a portable usb so I don't have to load down my laptop with it. I think I'll try to make another one and if I lose that I'll just ****ing give up and buy a cloud membership ugh.


Well, damn. I guess it wasn't completely negligible. I lost the originals (full versions) of anything I worked on in 2018 and 2017 it seems. Which means I've lost a couple designs that were meant for t-shirts and stuff. I was planning on revamping at least one of them. It's a good thing I upload compressed versions online though at least so I haven't lost them completely... they're just useless now for print or edits (unless I trace over them and basically redo the whole thing) which is pretty annoying.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

omg I'm ****in dead this person is sooooo good

how


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## Steve French (Sep 17, 2012)

I picked up Jeff VanderMeer's Annihilation today. Pretty clear to me that he took some influence from "the Zone" from Roadside Picnic/Stalker, though he vehemently denies this. Got me thinking of other, somewhat similar cases. The Hunger Games in many ways seems like a straight rip-off of Battle Royale but Suzanne Collins says she had never heard of it till near publication(lol). Aronofsky bought the rights to Kon's Perfect Blue so he could copy a scene in Requiem for a Dream, yet claims it had no influence on the very similar Black Swan. I don't discount unintentional influence, as I think it very real, and I don't take issue with some borrowing. Just seems odd to me that so many creators pretend they live in a concrete box and have never heard of anything in the outside world. I suppose they think it an insult to their talent, an affront to their creativity, or think it may open up a lawsuit. I can't think of very many cases folks were up front about what they were going for.

I think if anyone ever takes an interest in my work I think I'll be quite up front about my inspirations. I look at Cobain and his musical recommendations. Kept some great but obscure bands going and gave others new life. Probably cut some good pay checks.


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## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

It seems like everybody's writing fantasy these days, and I'm writing literary fiction. No matter what I do, I'm always out of the mainstream. :mum


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## smoothlinghs (Jun 2, 2018)

I almost lift my easel from my closet!


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

I think I might be finally breaking into the paintberri community! The problem though is that I am not into RP at all. I only have one OC that I sort of care about but she's not.... appropriate lol. I just don't really like to RP.... it makes me cringe a little bit.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I want to record the guitar riff through my combo amp and then double it by running my guitar through my Marshall head into my DAW and through Amplitube. Not quite sure how I’d layer the mix as I don’t have much of a habit of dubbing when I record, usually I just do one bass track, one guitar, etc but for the sake of exploring options and experimenting I want to try it


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## Steve French (Sep 17, 2012)

I was watching The Thin Red Line earlier. Got me to thinking of the war movie I wanted to film. Of course, I only ever think about various aspects of filmmaking and occasionally piss around on a script. Not really realistic that I might find myself helming a blockbuster. Regardless, I find an issue with most American war movies is the age of the actors. It's a big problem in many films and shows, often instituted because of child labour laws, but it shouldn't be an issue in this case. The most common ages to die at in Vietnam were 19, 20, and 21 years old. Perhaps it is because those slightly older actors are more established, but I think it might be for other reasons, i.e. people find it uncomfortable or unbelievable to see teenagers killing and being killed. They should be uncomfortable at the thought. I'll cast those ****ers right out of high school. Put it right in their faces.


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## TheFighterStillRemains (Oct 3, 2010)

My heart is just broken for my friend. He's a musician recently diagnosed with MS and I can't imagine how living with that and having it eventually take away what you love the most can do to someone. It makes me want to make art again. It would make for a good way to destress with all the coding I've been doing.


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## ceidauilyc (Jun 26, 2019)

How wild it would be if the world had werewolves and women, not men and women!


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## notandrewwinkwink (Jul 1, 2019)

How much fun castles are!!


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## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

I hope it's just because I'm relatively new to it, but I feel like I haven't been nearly as creative on saxophone as I have been on guitar or keyboards.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

It’s a funny feeling when you’ve written songs but forgotten how to play or sing them and have to relearn your own creation


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

I've been having a surge of erotic creativity so I've been making Porn Photoshops again the last week or so
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I read this recently:

(someone reminded me about this guy on Discord, though I read about him a while ago.)

https://hyperallergic.com/241213/the-radical-ambiguity-of-henry-darger/



> I'm particularly enticed by Darger's young "Vivian characters," originally conceived of in his magnum opus, The Story Of The Vivian Girls, In What Is Known As The Realms Of The Unreal, Of The Glandeco-Angelinnian War Storm, Caused by the Child Slave Rebellion. A 15,145-page novel, The Realms (the preferred abbreviation) tells the story of an endless war triggered by the rebellion of children tyrannized by a people called the Glandelinians. The victims are backed in their struggle by the Angelinnians, seven of whom (the Vivian Girls) are the heroines of the novel. These girls also have complicated genders and typically been described as hermaphrodites.
> 
> The reasoning behind giving the Vivian girls penises is unclear. Darger had a straightforward technique where he traced and enlarged images from noncontroversial magazines and coloring books, yet he went so far as to give the Vivian characters transparent dresses in certain pieces, so as to explicitly reveal the veiled double sex. Clearly he found that aspect important, and it is. For the hermaphrodite gets at a truth that a thing can be both one thing and its opposite - that two opposites can exist simultaneously and not cancel each other out.
> 
> Hermaphroditic gender performance is politically important in that it resists drawing boundaries around the "other"; but the works go deeper than sheer pansexuality. The patriarchal construction of woman as other and the female body as object is deeply rooted in the supposed duality (opposites) of the (two) sexes. Most feminist theory questions this patriarchal construction of sex and gender, suggesting that sex is expressed through a continuum, rather than an opposing couplet based on heterosexist male/female polarities. Darger's hermaphroditic art challenges these polarities and our tendency to view the world in limited terms.





> John M. MacGregor, an art historian with psychiatric training (who retrospectively diagnosed Darger with Asperger syndrome), has said that this darkly congested work is the best of Darger on paper.


Not sure if you can really diagnose someone as autistic after their death, but autistic people seem to be drawn to ambiguity and combining of opposites (in one person or even bringing two opposite people together.) Not just in gender but like anthropmorphisations even (I've noticed this with many people online.) That's kind of why I started looking through my stuff again, because I have a lot of autistic traits and always did the same thing creatively. Both with gender and animal/plant/technology stuff. A planet that is a super computer, cyborgs, multiple intelligences occupying the same body, fae, elves or other invented species that are part plant part Humanoid or have insectoid features, androgynous people, vespertilian Humanoids, flesh and bone trees etc.

I regurgitate ideas a lot. I found a drawing from one of my OC's that I created probably age 22 or so? It's based on a story I created for nano 2013. The race he's from seems very similar to earlier characters I created at some point in my teens. I found a description of one in a notebook.



http://imgur.com/2YpB0Tc


So the older character is called Ravyn (how original,) and is 17 training to be a sorcerer she has large black wings, very tall with long purple hair + eyes and lots of piercings. She's part of a species called Xiroken and she's half vampire half that species.

This is like the teen weeb version of what eventually evolved into the race my OC was from which.. Haven't settled on a name to this day but at that point was using one that was inspired a bit I think from Hungarian language. The characters are pretty different though just similar with the wings.

I think around the same time I had them be able to turn into mist that appeared like a swam of insects or something so they could bite people vampircally.

There was also a small amount of writing with some vampiric-moth type thing, and descriptions of eyelids with makeup as butterfly wings.

In the drawing he actually has a slightly mechanical wing for some reason, but yeah the race is basically bat like and lives in caves. They're also related to gargoyles in cursed form in my more recent daydream verse. During the story though that particular character actually lost his body and was trapped in the body of a Human girl as punishment after some ritual was carried out when she was a baby (I wrote like 10s of thousands of words in notes but don't remember it all now.)

Also I found some Yugioh GX Atticus/Zane fanfic in that teen notebook ahahah. It honestly took me a minute to realise it was fanfiction because I forgot the details of that show and also used the name Atticus for tons of OC's because of a Sim story featuring a goth character with that name and I thought it was a cool name.

Also:



> He hated Humans and their technology that polluted and killed the environment, as far as he was concerned plants should have taken over again long ago, things would have been a lot less messy if they had.
> 
> He continued to look at Atticus who looked downright miserable now.
> 
> ...


Then a couple of pages later there's a scribbly drawing with notes like 'flesh tree' 'silver leaves/robo tree' 'flesh person tree with expression of horror' 'tree with robo scythe weapon.'


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I can run the vocal mic through Acid Pro or Reaper via the mixer to apply a Reverb VST which comes out via the 5.1 Stereo & simultaneously run it out of the mixer via the FX Send to my 4x12 Cabinet without reverb blending the two so that the reverb accents the raw sound without dominating it & then mic my combo amp so that I can both simulate a stage feel of performance venue and record myself as reference for where I tend make mistakes. If the take is good I can then use the recorded audio to make youtube or Instagram clips if I have been filming my practice as well...good ole audio/sound engineering, it’s fun stuff!


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## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

I really want to do something with all these patches that I have made, they kind of remind me of jexus' youtube videos. I have some ideas in my head, maybe some industrial or something electroclash based, would be nice to bring my guitar in to this too and some vocals. I need to study song writing as in writing lyrics, I currently really suck at this.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I don’t know it’s helping my confidence but posting my singing practice video clips on Instagram has been my thing lately & I’ve got a long way to go in learning to fully project at all times as well as hit/maintain notes, I’m often semitones off


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

These lyrics are important & I have to find a way to use them be it the original piece or a new one


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## TopShelfHeart (Sep 27, 2019)

Got a new guitar and really want to cover something


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## Suchness (Aug 13, 2011)

TopShelfHeart said:


> Got a new guitar and really want to cover something


Do Tracy Chapman - I'm Ready.


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## TopShelfHeart (Sep 27, 2019)

Suchness said:


> TopShelfHeart said:
> 
> 
> > Got a new guitar and really want to cover something
> ...


Maybe. Been wanting to do a sad cover of Love of My Life by Queen. Idk why lol.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

I started a new story today. A horror. I am one sick, sick ****.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I wish I bought the mixer with built in FX


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Now and then there's this distant sort of creepy train sound that I can hear in my bedroom, it doesn't happen very often though but I really want to record it sometime. Seems unlikely that I'll be able to do that though without being able to predict when it happens short of sitting here everyday for months at a time waiting with my sound recorder.

I looked online and nobody has uploaded anything that sounds quite the same. It evokes a sort of similar feelings to this (while not sounding exactly like this) 0:56:






Which is just amazing and there's a few versions of this and another version I heard is the only music that's ever really freaked me out with headphones haha. To the point where I woke up one morning not long after I heard the other version for the first time, and heard a similar sound while half asleep (though might have imaged it,) and freaked the **** out haha. There's also a DC comics character in Arkham Asylum based on that track.

This is probably like the 10th time I've posted about this one track but it is great experimentally.

There are a lot of interesting creepy train sounds though, does seem to be a great source for sounds:






I love creepy industrial/metallic sounding things though. (Like screeching metal sounds,)


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

@Persephone The Dread

My grandmother's building was next to some kind of lumber place that had a steam whistle for lunch and it sounded like a train next door. She lived there for like 20 years and would hear that every day. I don't know how she didn't go bonkers from it.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

WillYouStopDave said:


> @Persephone The Dread
> 
> My grandmother's building was next to some kind of lumber place that had a steam whistle for lunch and it sounded like a train next door. She lived there for like 20 years and would hear that every day. I don't know how she didn't go bonkers from it.


Yeah that would be really annoying but I guess you get used to it. Like living near an airport.

Weirdly my friend recently reminded of how about 8 years ago I lived next door to some kind of care home where people would be screaming and one time chucking plates around, and all kind of chaos regularly. I completely forgot about that for some reason lol, but that was insane and since I was in a relationship with him at the time he'd sleep over and it freaked him out lol. Also my window was stuck open for months at a time because the landlord got someone to 'fix' it once, but it didn't stay fixed so it got stuck open again I think and then I just had to put up with it till I moved.


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## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Now and then there's this distant sort of creepy train sound that I can hear in my bedroom, it doesn't happen very often though but I really want to record it sometime. Seems unlikely that I'll be able to do that though without being able to predict when it happens short of sitting here everyday for months at a time waiting with my sound recorder.


I used to live on a road where I would hear drunken people walking back from the pub, I thought about sampling them singing one day and calling it symphony of the night. but I had the same problem, I think the best time I heard them singing was when I was sitting on the loo, and well, i'm not running out of the loo mid crap to grab my field recorder. i'm not quite that dedicated. yet.


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## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

god, mastering is such a chore sometimes. I have got stuff done to a level which is.... ok... essentially I want it to be at a level which is at the very least, professional. but most of the time I don't really know what other professionals think. I don't have access to a club and I don't know any dj's or producers in the genre I am making stuff. I also kind of don't want to go back down that path again because last time I did I found it really exhausting and tbh I was pretty **** at it and it gave me huge amounts of social anxiety. this post on reddit is unintentionally depressing as **** in respect to my situation.



> If you are really into people playing your tracks, the first thing you want to do is put the tracks somewhere for download and then hit up a select group of people you follow and look up to with the link. Be someone who writes a small note individually to each person with the link, say, "I loved your set at X," or, "Your track Z really inspire(s/d) me to do Y," etc. Everyone loves to know people like them, and that will surely be a better bet they'll listen to the track. Make the track easily streamable so that they can preview it, everyone wants to preview a track before they download it.
> 
> *Another step is building a local support base. Do you know other producers and DJs around town? Do you go to shows and support your local labels and producers and DJs? If not, this is a huge step forward. Gaining a local following happens through putting in face time. That's literally 50% of the music industry game: showing up. 25% of the game: being a nice person. 20% is being confident. About 3% is what you produce, 1% is your originality, 1% is how "good" your tunes are. You definitely should be giving your music out for free to every local producer you know. The more friends you make, the more you get your tracks dropped, the more people will start thinking of your tracks as bangers and start expecting them in the rotation. And that feeling is ****ing amazing. When people know your vocal sample and say it, or they recognize your song on the intro when you are playing your own set, it's literally what your mission was, and it comes full circle, you're feeding the rave what you consumed as a dancer.
> *
> ...


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

If my tax return is good & the ad is still up for the Presonus AR16 Mixer I need to get it. What’s the point of having multiple inputs if everything recorded is only mixed to stereo? One needs to be able to track all inputs individually


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Got the mixer, now it’s time to learn it


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## Paulmichle (Mar 12, 2020)

To find someone to have a beautiful life


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## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

I'm trying to create my "Let's Write And Doodle!" banner. I'm not sure if I want to make one fun banner {another banner just for fun during the Spring season} or draw my usual seasonal banner. I already drew my Spring banner. What makes me sad is the fact that I have decided to not use several transparent clip art images to create my banners. I really liked my banners. I was really creative. I have several reason to not no longer use them. One reason was because a friend criticized me for not hand drawing my banners. {I use MS Paint. MS Paint was not the issue with them} When I made my first "Let's Write And Doodle!" hand drawn banner for the first time without using any clip art it made me feel happy. I was pleased with it and yet looking at it at times it just stands out. My best work was using clip art. I think I just need to get use to the way my banners will now look. Another reason that makes me sad is that my friend keeps criticizing me of my artwork as a whole. It just makes me feel bad and sad. They're not helping. It is to a point where I don't like my art style because I'm not the grandest artist. My art is crap but even so deep down my art isn't all that bad. It makes me happy because it is unique.



I will keep trying to draw. I should try to ignore them. I literally have poor self esteem with my artwork. {Bad enough I draw Stick People Comics} It makes you not want to share your stuff with anyone.


Also: Sadly my outdated tablet won't even allow me to use a few photo editing APPs to make my font. I been screwed since last Summer. {Stupid phone went out on me} 
___________________________


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Now I’ve figured out the scope of this mixer & gear it’s time to get to work


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## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

DAC dongles. 

so I never knew about this, basically something which seemed to be made to plug the market after phones removed their headphone socket actually could prove to be a really portable solution for headphone amplification when writing music away from home? nice!


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## Cherrycarmine (Apr 19, 2015)

I finally started sharing my writing (the first drafts at least) on Tumblr earlier this year. Someone in my family convinced me to do so as one of my 2020 goals (some of which are now on hold because of the virus. Sharing my work is pretty much all I can do these days). If anyone is interested just look up the tag Yokai Medley.


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## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

In my case it's highly doubtful there ever will be an end product..


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I’ve never tried daisy chaining amps before...as long as you’re careful about the input levels running from one amp to the other though it’s fun experimenting


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Should return to my own thread, one of the very few semi-successful things I've created in my entire life.

The past couple of years I've been trying to learn digital drawing (still use the same drawing app even though it went defunct last autumn :blank )...I've improved, though I feel like I've plateaued and won't make much more progress. Maybe it's just as good as I'm meant to get.

Unfortunately, it still hasn't been anywhere near good enough to garner me very much notice on the several sites where I post it. It's common to go over a week without a single vote on Reddit; the most upvotes I do get is usually two or three. I believe I've had one drawing reblogged on Tumblr, and very very few likes, mostly from the same one or two users who don't even follow me so I'm not sure how they come across my work. :con 90% of the one or two faves I get at DeviantArt--when I get any faves at all--are either from the same two or three users who fave many of my items (probably just to be nice), or from Russian bots who've hijacked abandoned accounts to randomly fave everything showing up in recent submissions and have porn or virus URLs on their pages. (The exact same bots are also plaguing Goodreads. :x ) Seems impossible to get noticed there anymore unless you have social connections and/or real talent...neither of which I possess. As for comments...those are almost entirely nonexistent across all sites.

Anyway. I keep trying, though it seems pointless by now.

My own thread is as good a place as any to share, I suppose. I follow r/SketchDaily on Reddit. Today's art theme was "Carrots."


* *










I have no idea how big this will display.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Huh, for some reason r/SketchDaily liked my weird carrots. Three upvotes.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

tehuti88 said:


> Huh, for some reason r/SketchDaily liked my weird carrots. Three upvotes.


I think corona themed stuff is popular right now, they are cute carrots though.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I was so worried about adjusting the truss rod on my guitar but as long as you don’t force it and follow the guidelines it’s ok


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Oarfish:


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

* *





I hadn't posted any art in here since the carrot picture, as I've been rather dissatisfied with the work I created since then and/or considered it low effort, not really worth showing off. Oarfish is the first work I've been kind of happy with since then.

And this is what happens almost EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I dare to feel a bit proud of a work of mine. Those crappy subpar works I've produced since the carrot pic (which was one very rare exception, garnering several upvotes, though that was probably just because of the theme and not the artistic "skill," such as it was, itself) have gotten at least one, maybe two upvotes...except this one. Oarfish, the first work I've found a bit worthy of notice since the carrots, got zero notice at all, no votes, and even fewer views/hits than usual. -_-

No surprise...this is the constantly recurring pattern of things with anything I create, for over THIRTY YEARS. I get a bit of undeserved attention (probably pity attention), then, the moment I start to feel complacent and think maybe I am finally getting noticed, and start to feel a bit of pride in my work, the attention vanishes, and the work I actually put effort into is invisible.

With my digital art, this has been going on for almost two years now, on each of the 3-4 sites I post it on...I thought there'd be a point when effort starts to pay off (I'm such a moron I honestly thought if I could learn to draw, it'd bring attention to my writing like other artist-writers experience--HA!--stupid me), but I'm just not talented enough for that, and apparently never will be. Like I've said before, my "skills" seem to have plateaued, and all I get is the occasional pity vote, almost none of them on the work I feel proud of, so no matter how long I work on this or put time into it, I'm never going to truly be noticed. Not even as an amateur.

Which is all I'm ever destined to be, anyway. (For example with my writing, I've written over 1.5 million words (not even counting my earlier work), I've been writing since I was eleven and have probably put more time and work into it than many well-known amateurs and even some published writers, but all I can ever refer to myself as is an amateur, a wannabe...a writer is not a real writer without an audience, and I've completely failed to garner even a small one in thirty years.) I was hoping I could at least be a mildly talented amateur, but I'm not good enough for that, either. I'm just a crap, piddling, below-average amateur, and no amount of time or effort will change that.

I wish I could understand why I even keep trying at all. All the *hours* I pour into this crap. I'm so desperate for validation I'll never deserve.

Tl;dr, I'm discouraged and disappointed and it just sucks that _every time_ I'm presumptuous enough to feel a bit proud of something, that's the something that nobody will notice or care about. The only time I get a shred of notice is when I'm mediocre. So, mediocre is all I'll ever be. I wish effort meant something, but it only does if you're already talented and/or popular, neither of which I will ever be. I mean, look at me, I've been at this since before I was an isolated teenager and now here I am, in my forties, my creations scattered all across the Internet, yet still as much of a nothing loser as I've always been, absolutely nothing to be proud of in my entire life. I've never created anything that matters to anyone else...and not for lack of trying. I've tried really hard. That's why it hurts so much.

Today's theme is one I'm no good at so I was planning to go off theme. Maybe try to draw one of my characters. May as well just draw a crap doodle in under ten minutes...maybe it'd get a few upvotes. Though probably not, when the pic I'm proud of gets no notice, I generally get no notice for up to a week afterward. My record is eleven days. Surprise surprise, it's what my junk "art" deserves, and I hate that life has to keep reminding me of that. You think I'd get it by now.

Enjoy my stupid ****ing oarfish, nobody else did. -_-


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

@tehuti88

I think it's this way for most people so many people are creating stuff that there's just too much to get attention most of the time especially if you're not good at marketing yourself and networking. It might be better to just focus on the process of creating itself. I have 0 motivation but I still kind of remember fondly some music stuff I was messing around with a couple of years ago some of it I shared online, some I didn't. I didn't really have the motivation to get far with it but I liked experimenting and trying something new.

When I look back doing creative stuff in general especially since I got a lot of negative comments/discouragement from formal education, I mostly don't think of external comments but the imaginary worlds, and feeling like I accomplished something by creation in itself (although this works less when it often felt like I wasn't making progress in fact that was pointed out to me too with drawing by a teacher lol..) Also just the feeling of being inspired now and then is nice. Plus sometimes I kind of like stuff even if I think it's probably objectively **** in terms of technique. Probably in the same way some people still love their children even when they go around on a murderous rampage.

I have this memory of trying to paint something and it went terribly wrong (think this might have been when I was 18 ) but I kind of view it happily because it reminds me of summer time and Placebo's cover of 'Running up that Hill' which I discovered around the same time and was listening to a bunch. So it's like even though the end result was **** and I think unfinished actually I still have the imagination of what I wanted in my head and how I felt at the time.

And from when I used to paint, I have these tissues stuck on my wall where I'd dry the paint brush off on them which created a kind of almost tie dye effect just random splatters of various colours, and these are literally trash but they kind of remind me of how I was happier in some ways being creative. Another thing I like to do is myopically look at old work from years ago and notice patterns/themes/symbolic stuff like that. then sometimes write long obnoxious essays about that on this forum and then notice similar themes in other people's works and comment on that too. Like some essay I had saved in my browser's cache when returning to this thread that I decided not to post because I was repeating myself. Was basically just about chaos again. Some discussion of dragons.

I feel like I'm remembering the past in a kind of rosy way like I was more motivated/inspired. I mean I guess a tiny amount but not really. That just shows how **** I am now lol with motivation. I've always had serious motivation issues though.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

I like your pictures, @tehuti88 . They're way better than anything I could do, and I spent years trying to learn how to be an artist. I wanted to make graphic novels when I was a kid, but I'm obviously terrible at it!

I've been writing virtually every day for the last few years, constantly trying to improve my writing, and I'm still lucky if I sell two copies of a story the first week it comes out. I don't have a single dedicated fan after almost 9 years of writing! (And my editor doesn't count.) I think I must be the worst -- or at least the least-successful -- professional writer who's ever lived. If you compare the sheer amount of work I put in with the amount of money I actually make. (Some never make any money ofc, but they're also not usually doing it full-time and professionally.)

Whether my writing is really just that bad (it probably is :lol ), or it's luck, or visibility is just an insurmountable obstacle for anyone without a hefty advertising budget, irdk. I think luck definitely plays a major part, as there doesn't seem to be any simple correlation between the quality of writing, the strength of a person's media presence, and the volume of books a writer can sell. Some stuff just sells ... for no particular reason. A lot of it is social media presence; networking, endless self-promotion. But that generally only works for people with the right sort of persona: one that is appealing to a large number of people. It's hard for someone like me to compete with people like that.

My post obv isn't going to be encouraging, but I wanted to assure you that you're not alone. I could have written this part pretty much word for word:



> I wish effort meant something, but it only does if you're already talented and/or popular, neither of which I will ever be. I mean, look at me, I've been at this since before I was an isolated teenager and now here I am, in my forties, my creations scattered all across the Internet, yet still as much of a nothing loser as I've always been, absolutely nothing to be proud of in my entire life. I've never created anything that matters to anyone else...and not for lack of trying. I've tried really hard. That's why it hurts so much.


:squeeze


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

I'm sorry I haven't properly responded to the comments here...I feel like I don't deserve them, anyway. Not having a good night again.


* *





I'm not feeling well today, so today's sketch was just a crappy doodle like the one I submitted after my last post here. Weirdly, that last doodle garnered an upvote and a friendly comment. Yesterday's drawing was ignored (it wasn't that good anyway). Tonight's was downvoted in under a half hour.

I know it didn't deserve any upvotes...but did it really so deserve a downvote? It's actually _hard_ to get downvoted in that sub (one of the reasons it's the only sub I'm active in anymore)--the only other time I recall it happening was when I made the mistake of mentioning the Forever Alone sub; I deleted that comment and resubmitted with the reference deleted and no second downvote appeared. So I figure that was why it was downvoted, and I'm careful to keep my FA misery out of any comments on Reddit, even my own page. (I guess I couldn't even blame them. The FA sub is a pile of ****.)

Like a chicken I deleted tonight's comment too and resubmitted (I hope it doesn't break my streak). If the downvote reappears, well...either the insecure troll who followed me from here to Reddit has returned, or my art sucks even more than I already knew.

I even said in the comment that I'm not feeling good today (physically...though mentally now, too). Some others in that sub submit nothing BUT rough doodles, after all, it's called SKETCHDaily...one person submits almost nothing but stick figures, and that's fine...what did I do tonight that was so awful? Even if my art is crap (and tonight's, especially, was--I even admitted it), why do I need to be kicked while I'm down? I wasn't seeking pity votes, just explaining why it's so crappy tonight, because, as messed up as it is, *I feel I need to apologize when I don't want to put my full effort into something*. And here's the even more messed-up thing: *I feel like I should apologize to whoever downvoted me, for obviously pissing them off, somehow.* I hate to upset people, even when they upset me. But I can't even do that, because if you so much as acknowledge a downvote on Reddit, you just get more.

I almost hope it IS the troll because at least I could shrug him off as the one with the problem. But I have no way of knowing.

I'm sorry I can't be more grateful for the comments offered here, but it seems for every time somebody tries to cheer me up, somebody else promptly brings me back down to earth to realize how untalented I am. I complain about being unnoticed, so then I get negative attention instead...I guess I deserved that. I feel like the smallest speck of trash for even trying. :crying:

(The final irony: Stupidly buoyed by the friendly comment I'd gotten on the earlier trashy drawing (even though I expected no such response tonight), while working on the doodle tonight I didn't feel too stressed that it was crappy, because I figured, well, that's okay, and it's even a bit fun/goofy in its crappiness. That's the last time I make that mistake. Life has taught me I don't have the right to slack off or do anything less than my best, even if my best sucks, too.)




I see from a glance you two put a lot of effort into your comments so I hope to try to respond to them later. Just so you know they weren't completely wasted/ignored. If I don't, it's not because I didn't appreciate them, it was just my dumb anxiety again (I avoid threads where I've recently complained because I always feel so guilty afterward).


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

I rather like my acorn, which means Reddit probably won't notice it. If I'm lucky.



EDIT: Yep, I was right. Nobody on Reddit noticed it. (Or Tumblr either, but that's pretty normal. I've gotten all of two likes this month, last one April 7/8. And out of 656 posts so far I think I've had an artwork reblogged exactly once. That post got the most notes ever...seven.)

At least it didn't get downvoted, I guess.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

The color/texture of your acorn is really delicious, @tehuti88 .



> I feel I need to apologize when I don't want to put my full effort into something. And here's the even more messed-up thing: I feel like I should apologize to whoever downvoted me, for obviously pissing them off, somehow. I hate to upset people, even when they upset me.


I struggle with this, too. Not downvoting, but simply existing. Because I know I make people uncomfortable. I feel bad about creating negative emotions in other people.

Don't worry about the replies. It's right there in your signature.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Can I get a returned compressed/gated track to all 3 mics in both DAW’s?


----------



## Cherrycarmine (Apr 19, 2015)

Cherrycarmine said:


> I finally started sharing my writing (the first drafts at least) on Tumblr earlier this year. Someone in my family convinced me to do so as one of my 2020 goals (some of which are now on hold because of the virus. Sharing my work is pretty much all I can do these days). If anyone is interested just look up the tag Yokai Medley.


I finally figured out how to leave a page for the series itself on Tumblr yesterday. Should've added it sooner








.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I hope reentering the authorization code will set Amplitube back to normal


----------



## Winds (Apr 17, 2011)

I have some many thoughts in my head but I don't feeling anywhere near creative enough to put them down. Yet I try as I got no other outlet outside of gaming.


----------



## kesker (Mar 29, 2011)

I think Lynch may have something.


----------



## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

I rediscovered this salty art meme I made a while back :um










It's not completely serious, as someone who likes New York City I can't truly hate Art Deco. But feel like it overshadows Art Nouveau a bit too much.


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Barakiel said:


> I rediscovered this salty art meme I made a while back :um
> 
> 
> 
> ...


lol I had a lecturer that really loved art deco (liked Bioshock and stuff,) and personally I prefer art nouveau too. That's also why I really like all the elf stuff in the LoTR films.










I have a weird fixation with spiraly things though so maybe that's partly related. Like when I used to doodle it was often spiralling vines etc. Also though there's more occult and naturalistic themes.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

$1000 for a pair of PA speakers, a pair of floor monitors, & a pair of studio monitors is about as cheap as it can get


----------



## Winds (Apr 17, 2011)

Decades can past with no one wanting anything to do with me, yet as soon as I pick up a pen or want to write a thought down on my phone, I get a thousand phone calls and countless interruptions.


----------



## Alleviate Suffering (Jan 28, 2014)

The novel in my mind seems so beautiful but I do not think I will ever put it into words. Every time I try to transfer it from my imagination to paper I get so frustrated because it feels like I lack the writing talent to ever express it properly. Regardless of whether I ever write it down or not the characters feel real to me now and will live in my head for the rest of my life.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

This is surprisingly female gaze for a painting created by a man (and that includes a woman in it):










Oh he painted Hylas and the Nymphs, I saw that on tumblr. Also didn't know this:



> The painting was the centre of a controversy in 2018 when the curator of the Manchester Art Gallery decided to remove the painting from the walls of the permanent collection. What triggered the removal? Some believed because of the nudity on display in the work. The official stance was that removal of the painting was part of an art project by British Afro-Caribbean artist Sonia Boyce inspired by the MeToo and Time's Up campaigns. A film of the removal of the picture was screened at the gallery with the intention being to inspire debate about the presentation of women ! There was an instant backlash from the public with regards this removal and the national press had a field day when the curator had to reverse her decision. The Daily Mail of February 5th 2018 splashed the headline:
> 
> OFFENSIVE NYMPHS ARE BACK ON DISPLAY AT MANCHESTER ART GALLERY AFTER BACKLASH WHEN ARTWORK WAS TAKEN OVER FEAR IT WAS OFFENSIVE TO WOMEN.
> 
> Waterhouse's Hylas and the Nymphs was taken down, it was 'offensive to women'. A curator had claimed that the 1896 artwork perpetuated 'outdated and damaging stories' that 'women are either femmes fatale or passive bodies'


And I think I reblogged it at some point because I liked the nymphs, aesthetically hah.

Also a similar painting by Henrietta Rae from 1909 with the same title exists lol. It does paint the nymphs as more active I think, though it's still sadistic.

Men are just more concerned with their emasculation. You have two homme fatal narratives that come from women (off the top of my head.) One is quite stereotypical and can be described using the example of Twilight and no doubt most feminists would dislike it for different reasons (possibly because the female protagonist lacks agency. Tbf the characters have basically no personalities so..) The other narrative is uh complicated:



> In her male homosexual stories, Mori emphasizes a formulaic relationship between male lovers, typically portraying such characters as a couple made up of sophisticated (aristocratic) middle aged man and a capricious but beautiful teenage boy. What makes Mori's stories authentic homme fatal narratives is the variety of ways in which these beautiful teenage boys gradually begin to exploit these older men, who, by the end of the narratives in which they appear, invariably end up being destroyed.
> 
> There is no doubt that in Mari Mori's fiction beautiful boys are male versions of the femme fatale type which was widely favoured in the nineteenth century. It seems that they appear in the present world in order to over-throw the firmly established power relations of heterosexual society.


If you project her into it as the homme fatal as a lot of people would because they don't view this genre from every angle (and plus they describe her as the Japanese Electra,) you could view it as her being the femme fatal but that brings me to a quote I read before which complicates it further:



> Mori Mari wrote that she always felt that her father was too good for this earth. There was something in his goodness that made him vulnerable, and she felt it her duty to protect him. In 1960 she wrote, "Once a nightmare disturbed me and woke me in a cold sweat; it was about some men approaching my father working at his desk and attacking him from behind."⁴⁴ Any reader of Mori Ōgai (including most likely Mari herself) would be reminded by her dream of a passage in his 1909 novel Vita Sexualis. The protagonist of this ironically autobiographical novel (a text that is so sex-phobic that one of my students once called it Vita Asexualis) is terriﬁed of homosexuals and takes a dagger with him to bed in his boarding school to defend himself against the older students who he believes are out to rape him.⁴⁵ In Mori Mari's stories and the yaoi works they spawned, homosexuality may not be out and proud, but it is not nearly as scary and violent as it was in her father's novel.


There's obviously the heterosexual Danish story with the male merman (Agneta and the Merman,) who seduces her into the ocean, but in the end she's kind of the villain because she leaves him and her children to return to land (I think there are various slightly different versions of it because it was passed down orally.) It's also just a pretty different dynamic because all the Merfolk stories are sad like The Little Mermaid. The Swedish version is more like that though:



> In contrast to these Danish versions, an examination of a variation from Sweden will show the ways in which the tale altered depending on culture. A Swedish version keeps similar elements, however Agnete's love for the merman is falsified. In this ballad, Agnete refuses the merman's advances, offering him flowers instead, but is pulled beneath the waves and wiped of her human memories.
> 
> She then proceeds to marry the merman and produce seven children in eight years. It is only after-once again-hearing church bells that call her to resurface that she regains her memories and chooses to leave her underwater husband and children. When her husband comes for her, in an evident deus ex machina moment, God intervenes, banning the merman from entering the church and allowing Agnete to remain with her father.


I feel like this is more patronising. Also, mindcontrol erotica haha.

I like this nymph story and was going to mention it before I got sidetracked writing this post by the above painting museum thing (and speaking of nymphs and emasculation this is quite literal lol):



> Ovid's account relates that Hermaphroditus was nursed by naiads in the caves of Mount Ida,[7] a sacred mountain in Phrygia (present day Turkey). At the age of fifteen, he grew bored with his surroundings and traveled to the cities of Lycia and Caria. It was in the woods of Caria, near Halicarnassus (modern Bodrum, Turkey) that he encountered the nymph, Salmacis, in her pool. She was overcome by lust for the boy, who was very handsome but still young, and tried to seduce him, but was rejected. When he thought her to be gone, Hermaphroditus undressed and entered the waters of the empty pool. Salmacis sprang out from behind a tree and jumped into the pool. She wrapped herself around the boy, forcibly kissing him and touching his breast. While he struggled, she called out to the gods that they should never part. Her wish was granted, and their bodies blended into one form, "a creature of both sexes".[8] Hermaphroditus prayed to Hermes and Aphrodite that anyone else who bathed in the pool would be similarly transformed, and his wish was granted. "In this form the story was certainly not ancient," Károly Kerényi noted. He compared the myth of the beautiful ephebe with Narcissus and Hyacinthus, who had an archaic hero-cult, and Hymenaios.[9]
> 
> Diodorus Siculus in his work Library of History mention, that some say that Hermaphroditus is a god and appears at certain times among men, but there are some who declare that such creatures of two sexes are monstrosities, and coming rarely into the world as they do have the quality of presaging the future, sometimes for evil and sometimes for good.[10]


You know though, nymphs in general probably get a bad rap:



> In Greek mythology, Salmacis (Ancient Greek: Σαλμακίς) was an atypical naiad who rejected the ways of the virginal Greek goddess Artemis in favor of vanity and idleness. Her attempted rape of Hermaphroditus places her as the only nymph rapist in the Greek mythological canon (though see also Dercetis).


They're probably not as rapey as the Greek Gods.










_The Remorse of the Emperor Nero after the Murder of his Mother 1878
_

Going back to Waterhouse I like the vulnerability he brings out in men.

A Naiad is interesting as well (the painting.) I can't post most of these paintings because of obvious female nipples ¬_¬


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Sharing this here since I'm kind of proud of it and I doubt anyone on Reddit will notice it. Imgur now mangles anything over 1MB though they say you can upload up to 5MB. :roll Will it let me link to Tumblr...?


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Drew a completely non-racist and nonpolitical tiki torch tonight. First time trying to draw a flame without using the pretty fire brush that comes with the app.


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## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

tehuti88 said:


> Sharing this here since I'm kind of proud of it and I doubt anyone on Reddit will notice it. Imgur now mangles anything over 1MB though they say you can upload up to 5MB. :roll Will it let me link to Tumblr...?


Neat-o! Not sure if being sleep deprived had anything to do with it, but I thought this was a photograph at first. :um
I like the shading and bold lines of your torch as well.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

It's really ****ing hard to do self-promotion on social media when all you want to do is suck on a shotgun. Like everything else, the art community is dominated by cheerful extroverts.



tehuti88 said:


> Drew a completely non-racist and nonpolitical tiki torch tonight. First time trying to draw a flame without using the pretty fire brush that comes with the app.


The flame turned out really well. I like the reflected glow on the cap.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

@truant

Yeah I started a gaming YT channel recently and I've noticed most of the big channels in the genre I'm focusing on atm have very bubbly personas. I don't think they all started off that way, but they adopt it over time. It feels too fake for me to do. I guess there are some without it especially the ones who don't also do streaming on twitch as well, but if your work isn't very amazing or you didn't move from some other place with a large audience into gaming, then you need to be more interesting (and even if it is really the best creator I've come across still only has 10's of thousands of subscribers and I think it's because they sound pretty awkward. Someone actually commented on one of their videos saying they loved their work but wondering if they were OK.) Some of them basically vlog about stuff going on in their life while doing things in game, and I imagine a lot of people like that but I can't because aside from not having a life I want to remove my identity as much as possible from the content. Also not willing to show my face (have to do audio because it's kind of the bare minimum you can get away with,) and the networking component is sort of N/A atm because I don't have enough people following me but that's difficult too. Since everyone started using patreon it's kind of normal to make yourself super available and create your own discord server and everything so you basically have to host the chat. Some of these people also get together irl and there's a very social aspect that just intimidates me (my brother went to at least one networking event for YouTubers that he was invited to when he was regularly making videos.)

Even responding to YT comments I struggle to think of the best way to convey happiness/excitement and respond to stuff. I looked up how others were responding to comments recently like I'm a robot :') and then they just seemed so excited with all these exclamation marks and stuff which I never use and it felt like it would be too fake if I did that. I've started including emojis in places because people seem to like those.

But yes even with stereotypical introverted stuff, you often have to be happy and likeable to get anywhere most of the time.


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## XebelRebel (Apr 21, 2019)

truant said:


> It's really ****ing hard to do self-promotion on social media


So what is it that you have been promoting on social media? What is your art like?

I have been doing some self-promotion on this forum, in more ways than one. Someone even replied to my thread in the spirituality forum! OK, so it seems like it was to say Kira Kosarin is an attractive girl -- but there has been none of that "Get behind me, Satan!" talk from before. So I am looking on the dark side of the situation!  That is a joke; it is like how the characters of the TV show Vampirina say things like "spooktacular" to mean "that is a good thing".

I will be the me I want to be, without regard for my popularity -- knowing that I am not bad -- and focus on all the ways in which I am getting what I want.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Yeah I started a gaming YT channel recently and I've noticed most of the big channels in the genre I'm focusing on atm have very bubbly personas. I don't think they all started off that way, but they adopt it over time. It feels too fake for me to do. I guess there are some without it especially the ones who don't also do streaming on twitch as well, but if your work isn't very amazing or you didn't move from some other place with a large audience into gaming, then you need to be more interesting (and even if it is really the best creator I've come across still only has 10's of thousands of subscribers and I think it's because they sound pretty awkward. Someone actually commented on one of their videos saying they loved their work but wondering if they were OK.) Some of them basically vlog about stuff going on in their life while doing things in game, and I imagine a lot of people like that but I can't because aside from not having a life I want to remove my identity as much as possible from the content. Also not willing to show my face (have to do audio because it's kind of the bare minimum you can get away with,) and the networking component is sort of N/A atm because I don't have enough people following me but that's difficult too. Since everyone started using patreon it's kind of normal to make yourself super available and create your own discord server and everything so you basically have to host the chat. Some of these people also get together irl and there's a very social aspect that just intimidates me (my brother went to at least one networking event for YouTubers that he was invited to when he was regularly making videos.)
> 
> Even responding to YT comments I struggle to think of the best way to convey happiness/excitement and respond to stuff. I looked up how others were responding to comments recently like I'm a robot :') and then they just seemed so excited with all these exclamation marks and stuff which I never use and it felt like it would be too fake if I did that. I've started including emojis in places because people seem to like those.
> 
> But yes even with stereotypical introverted stuff, you often have to be happy and likeable to get anywhere most of the time.


I do have a "bubbly persona" by nature; I built my brand on being something of a comedian, and most of what I write is either comedy, or has comedy in it. I try to say something funny in every one of my tweets. (It's almost diametrically opposite to the way I post here.) But I find it very hard to sustain that persona on social media when I'm, y'know, suicidal. If I wasn't already a "laugh through the tears" kind of person I wouldn't be able to do it at all.

As it is, all I can manage are a few sporadic tweets every time I publish a new story. I'm trying to tweet every day and it's like drinking a gallon of vomit. There's no way I could maintain a Patreon account, with all that socialization and deadlines and doing special favors for fans and whatnot. I simply do. not. have. the. psychological. resources. If I don't slit my wrists in the morning it's a major achievement unlocked. Plus, I can't share photos or make videos. I'd lose more readers than I'd gain.

And yet this is the environment I have to compete in. It's the only environment that exists anymore. I must be funnier, more outgoing, more interesting than thousands of other people AND a good writer. This might be doable if was in a good place mentally, but there's no way to do that with a string of letters after your name [OCD, PTSD, GD, etc.] and a bottle of pills in one hand. With all those letters, you have to at least be attractive so people can fetishize your illness.

Frankly, I don't see a way out of my predicament. I can't compete in a gig economy and I don't qualify for assistance. When the money runs out, I'm just blowing my brains out.

And on that happy note, good luck with your gaming channel. I really do hope you can find some kind of success. Lord knows it ain't easy.



XebelRebel said:


> So what is it that you have been promoting on social media? ... I will be the me I want to be, without regard for my popularity -- knowing that I am not bad -- and focus on all the ways in which I am getting what I want.


I'm promoting my writing. Which is how I earn my living. I don't have the luxury of being completely myself without regard for my popularity. If I'm not popular, I don't eat. It's that simple.

I suspect the main reason why my writing doesn't sell is because I _do_ try to be myself as much as possible in my writing without worrying too much about what people think. I take a lot of creative risks and try to do things other people aren't doing. I'm more interested in exploring things artistically than grinding out clones of popular franchises. But the road to poverty, as they say, is paved with artistic pretensions.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

truant said:


> I do have a "bubbly persona" by nature; I built my brand on being something of a comedian, and most of what I write is either comedy, or has comedy in it. I try to say something funny in every one of my tweets. (It's almost diametrically opposite to the way I post here.) But I find it very hard to sustain that persona on social media when I'm, y'know, suicidal. If I wasn't already a "laugh through the tears" kind of person I wouldn't be able to do it at all.
> 
> As it is, all I can manage are a few sporadic tweets every time I publish a new story. I'm trying to tweet every day and it's like drinking a gallon of vomit. There's no way I could maintain a Patreon account, with all that socialization and deadlines and doing special favors for fans and whatnot. I simply do. not. have. the. psychological. resources. If I don't slit my wrists in the morning it's a major achievement unlocked. Plus, I can't share photos or make videos. I'd lose more readers than I'd gain.
> 
> ...


 yeah it really isn't fair how everything is so focused on image. I hope you get some good luck at some point. If the near impossible happens and I end up having any kind of success I will try to help you.


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

^^ I hope you both have success 🙂


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> yeah it really isn't fair how everything is so focused on image. I hope you get some good luck at some point. If the near impossible happens and I end up having any kind of success I will try to help you.


I appreciate the sentiment, but I would never ask anyone to do that. :squeeze
@blue2 Thanks. :squeeze


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

@truant Well I'm not in a position to atm but I think someone should even if you wouldn't ask. :squeeze
@blue2 thanks


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Everything was perfect, the template was made in Acid Pro, open up the program, open the template & voila, everything labeled & equipped, adjust the levels & go...now I have to remake the whole damn thing again


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I can play but I’m definitely rusty on the skins


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## uziq (Apr 9, 2012)

my sleep schedule is absolutely hosed


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

A sketchy rhino.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

@tehuti88

I like that. Reminds me of Eeyore.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I wonder how many files I will have lost or need to rebuild because of this stupid technical issue


----------



## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

I came up with some ideas on how to connect two chord progressions I've been messing around with on piano for a while.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Once I get these PA speakers I’ll have a proper outlet for this mixer


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## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

“Recently, my son said to me after seeing a ballet on television: ‘It’s beautiful, but I don’t like it.’ And I thought, Are many grown-ups capable of such a distinction? It’s beautiful, but I don’t like it. Usually, our grown-up thinking is more along the lines of: I don’t like it, so it’s not beautiful. What would it mean to separate those two impressions for art making and for art criticism?” - Sarah Ruhl


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## FritzThird (Oct 8, 2020)

Thinking about finishing an animated scene, but life keeps interrupting my creativity. :frown2:


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## FritzThird (Oct 8, 2020)

tehuti88 said:


> A sketchy rhino.


I love it! Looks ready for animation.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Part of me feels like the way the drum set is currently setup is restrictive to me, at the same time though, I need to practice a hell of a lot more


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## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

I didn't draw/create my "Let's Write And Doodle!" autumn banner 2020. I don't think I would create a Winter on. I fell off......I fell like I can probably get one in but I'm just not so sure.


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

I bought an Iridescent purple watercolour half tin yesterday. I expected it to be a somewhat sparkly purple. It’s not. It’s almost transparent, but if the light hits it right it’s purple. It’s neat, but I’m not sure what to do with it (yet ;D)


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I really need to start a practice routine for drumming


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## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

I haven't thought about creating something recently. I wish I did just that I don't have any ideas.


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## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

I've listened to System of a Down a bit, and now my guitar is suddenly in Drop C tuning. :um


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I can’t wait to run my experiment for my speaker setup, if it works it’ll be a solid hold over until I can afford an new amp


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Miked/amplified drums in a small space?....


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

All my ideas heavily rely on my ability to draw amazing backgrounds. I suck at drawing backgrounds


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## kesker (Mar 29, 2011)

Skeletra said:


> I bought an Iridescent purple watercolour half tin yesterday. I expected it to be a somewhat sparkly purple. It's not. It's almost transparent, but if the light hits it right it's purple. It's neat, but I'm not sure what to do with it (yet ;D)


I read that as an _*indecent*_ purple watercolour half tin.......

It made me wonder what indecent purple would look like. And I'm considering Indecent Purple as the name of my new imaginary band, so thanks.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Watching a clip pf myself playing drums from that angle is rough, clearly I need to work on my finess


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## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

Tried playing saxophone for the first time in a while, it didn't go too well. Sometimes it does, but inconsistency is the only consistent feature of my life, and if I actually put in effort and force myself to do something only for it to turn out unrewarding, that can be pretty disastrous sometimes.










Like my last therapist, these people have absolutely no idea what it's like living a socially isolated life with ADHD and no guarantee of having opportunities to share your interests with other people (let alone playing music with others), but unlike him at least they have an excuse for their ignorance probably. But if I'm reluctant to look up musical tutorials and such these days, it's at least partially because of things like this.


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## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I know there's a poetry thread but since this thread is about expressing what were thinking about right now I think I can write a poem about it here.


Looking up to heavens
Is anyone listening?
I don't know where I'm heading
So listen in

Kinda feels like I'm choking
Dreams stolen by inner demons, 
screaming "Yeah right! Keep dreaming."
leaving me bleeding from within
feels kinda grim
looking in mirror thinking 
"If only you believed in him."

Fighting an inner battle for self-belief 
against my disbelief and it's ability to deceive 
my belief in myself and what I can achieve

If only I could believe in myself
then I might treat myself better
and take off some of the pressure of what I think might be a fear of success 

and I know I repress my fear of failure
by avoiding taking action and putting things off for later
but that doesn't bring any satisfaction
So why I do I go out of my way to avoid things that make me uncomfortable?
When It's just making me miserable

I have a dream
I'd like to do something with
Writing, rhyming, rapping
or something in between
But that doesn't bring a clear vision to help me make a decision
so I can pick a direction and make it my mission
Instead of feeling like I'm sitting in an intersection
not knowing where I'm going or where I'm headed
and I know if I don't follow my dream
I'm gonna regret it

Sometimes I worry about having unhealthy levels of self esteem
Like in some way if I follow this dream
it could mean I'm just manic
Worrying if my egos gigantic
making me feel like I want panic and run the opposite direction
of my souls intention


I question

Is it healthy to dream this big?
This one just feels so real coming from deep within
All this has me looking in the mirror thinking 
"If only you could believe in him"


----------



## valina (Nov 23, 2020)

Snap out of it.


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Love, will you find your way back to me?
Heart, will you continue to beat strongly?
Light, will you help me to see?
Hope, will you hold me closely?
Is this the way it's gotta be?
Possibly it's you who's missing me?
I know I'm loving and missing you dearly
Nothing's ever clear to me when I can't see clearly
Is it all waiting for me in a future I can't foresee?


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

These clamps with cymbal arms are brilliant, really allows you to setup with having to have a rack or loads of boom stands


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I refuse to let myself fall
Even if I have to crawl to get to my feet
Take a walk down the street
Headphones on listening to a sick beat on repeat
Treat myself to something sweet
Take a seat and meditate
Elevate my mental state
Alleviate the pain and stimulate my brain
Go back to the top and do it all over again


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

All this thinking has my wheels spinning within
Want to start living but have little interest in the system we live in
Don't want to fit in in a society that lies to me about how we're free
It ain't hard to see
In reality it's more like a prison
I refuse to be just another worker bee
Protect our freedom? Sorry but I'm not dumb
I'm not blinded by patriotism
I like where I live but this world is big enough for everyone and something has got to give


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Woke up this morning
Still mourning the loss of you
What am I to do?
When you left this world 
My world unfurled
Still dreaming, seeing your face
In my mind you'll never be replaced
Woke up to my heart racing
Breaking, hearts aching
Memories of your passing leaving me shaking
I won't pretend I don't want to get to the end just to see you again
I know you'd want to see me happy
But sadly I feel I can't be without you
It's true, you gave me strength to get through
Now you're gone and I just don't know what to do


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

(This is not directed at anyone on this forum, I'm just venting from my personal life)


I'm fed up
I've f***in' had it
Yup, about to split their lip with each lyric I spit
I try not to cuss but I don't give a s****, I've had enough
Don't like it when I'm rough? Tough luck
You stepped up to me and you're about to see the beast in me
I'm setting it free
Stop looking at me so awkwardly
I'ma burn you to the fourth degree
I'm gentle till you test my patience 
Sane but I can still come at you like a mental patient
listen to this cadence
You've got nothing on my determination
I'll fade you out as I fade in
Stop fakin' before I break in changin' your mind
You're one of millions, I'm one of a kind
You wanted to mess with me? Now you're in a bind
You want to test me? Scream and shout but I'm covering all the exits
No way out
In my space, you can't exist
You can't handle this
I warned you, you don't want to see me pissed off
Watch as you drown and cough in these bars
Worst case scenario, you better prepare your coffin
Best case I'll leave you seeing stars
I don't feel this way often but now I'ma leave you feelin' socked in
Cloud your vision leaving you feelin' boxed in
Next time watch who you're tauntin', after what you did is this really so shockin'?
Had enough? Keep walkin'


----------



## zkv (Feb 18, 2020)

I've wanted to start recording again for a while now, but the electric guitar needs a service and my brother dropped the acoustic one and now it has a loose wire or something. So I'm screwed 'til further notice.


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

What am I doing on this earth?
Was I somewhere before birth?
What's the meaning of life?
Is there an afterlife?
Don't want kids, I'm good with a few dogs and a wife
Questioning 
the purpose in everything
Feeling 
reborn like spring
They say life's what we make it
I admit
I can see the benefit to think like this
Don't think we'll ever really know why we exist
This morning I felt ungrounded and possessed by anger
Now I feel blessed and anchored
Funny how we go through phases
How time changes who we are
Looking back, I've come so far


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I can already tell today is gonna be a good day
Shaping it like clay, making it go my way
No need to prey, "Angels" relay what I say to "God"
Making my life better than the vanilla version, like a game mod
Had my french vanilla coffee, no longer feeling groggy
Staying frosty, today is the day I share my hobby
No need to hurry already prepared my rap like poetry
I know this right here isn't my best work
I'm just half a**ing it like a store clerk on the night shift
Feels like I'm on a waiting list, just killing time
This is definitely not my best rhyme
Just conveying what's on my mind


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I’ll swap out the mics as for live rehearsal the cheaper one has more high end which I’ll just have to EQ a bit to ward off feedback, otherwise testing out running everything through the board has gone well so far, using the sends for the guitars is amazing


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

They've got you under their feet
You're already down when you don't need to be
Don't run from the Winter
You'll find harmony with her
Winds blowing seas apart
Strength is in the beat of your heart
Weather withers within when without waking watchfulness
A consciousness full of thoughtfulness
Even when you're in a hole that feels bottomless
Remember there's light eventually
Right now it's just too dark to see
let it be, let it be


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I don't know whether to use my will and fight these emotions
or to stay still and let the commotion pass
Life around me is moving so fast
I forget to laugh, to stop and smell the fresh cut grass
Taking life way too serious
Too depressed to get any deep rest leaving me delirious
In my weariness I try to remember it's all just an experience
Building resilience every time I pick myself back up after a fall
I say I don't care what people think of me but I don't know if that's true at all
Speaking to myself crassly
As the insecurity in me haunts me like a banshee but I won't let it outlast me


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Who knew emptiness could way the heaviest
The heaviness of all of this has been leaving me feeling precarious
Today my social anxiety has assaulted me
Finding it hard to open up, even to those I trust
Holding it all in has me feeling like I'm about to combust
Within there's nothing but stormy weather
Determined to keep myself together
Calming the storm by expressing it in poetic form
A lack of present acceptance is my tormentor
Finding hope in the center
Letting go of the struggle within
Emotions lightening
Feels enlightening


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Have to try the different EQ ideas that come to mind & see which work best


----------



## Saoirse8 (Mar 12, 2021)

I've been thinking about still-lifes lately and what would be beautiful to paint. I've just discovered oils and would love to use glazes in a way that would make it seem like the objects are glowing. Like, a huge bowl full of lemons! Or oranges, or a glass of water....Beautiful, bright light. Color. 

I play piano and am also wondering which composer I can move on to after Clementi. Someone easy, but not too basic. I'm getting kinda tired of how happy and structured Clementi is....


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I hate having writers block
It's like trying to play hopscotch without chalk
Tired of being taken advantage of for my kindness
It has me feeling lifeless, leaving my heart where the noose is 
Truth is I don't know if these bruises will heal for as long as I can feel
But as long as I keep it real, my soul they can never steal
Can't be anybody else but myself
To have or to be?
I don't possess me, I am me


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Doing my best to follow my dreams
Staying up late writing, no rest
Knowing it is what it is but hardly is it ever what it seems
Not impressed by those who treat life like a contest
And I confess my mind is a bit of a mess
But I digress,
We all need a reason for being 
Keep breathing, steady our hearts beating 
To keep going even without knowing if we're succeeding
To continue dreaming when past memories bleed in, seeping, leaving us weeping
To find our own meaning to hold onto to see us through times of pain
Even when life feels like you're trying to light a flame in the pouring rain
The storm will pass and beams of light will dash through your skies again
Remembering, underneath all the perplexity of humanity we're all the same


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Guitars...whether to sell, whether to buy


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

What is this nonsensical sense of doom that despite being nonsense
no amount of rationality can convince my feelings it isn't true


When will I breakthrough the self pity
It's tricky
It's constantly trying to trick me
Where do I begin
I know to look within
I try to keep chin up
And fill up my cup
But it's not always enough


Restlessly in agony from past tragedy
Making it hard to see clearly
And it's hard for my heart to guide me
When I don't always trust it
Sometimes I think it's busted

I need to re arrange the the way
I think
I'm on the brink
Seeing broken pieces of myself in all this "ink"


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Never forgetting where I'm coming from but never knowing where I'm going to
All these emotions I've been going through, leaving me feeling broken in two
Feeling blue, happiness is long over due
If only I knew then what I know now I might not be missing you
Life never gives you what you want on queue
All these feelings have skewed my point of view
And it's confusing, so many viewpoints I'm seeing through
Trying to find something true to hold on to but for now this will have to do


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I'm just trying to cope
Feels like I'm standing on a slope
Holding on to a thin rope of hope thinking to myself "Nope."
This is not the way I'm gonna go
So I put my pain into every flow
I sow new seeds, patiently watch them grow
And I know sometimes I just want to let it go and throw it all away
Some days all the colors seem to fade to grey
Reminding myself every night I'm dying trying to make it through to the next day
Ain't no way anybody's gonna make me betray myself and hold back what I've got to say
Don't believe in god but still I pray anyway, not faithless
Feeling depressed, too heavy to weigh this
In my chest is where the pain is
Truth is life isn't always painless
But now my aim is to rise up 'cause I've had enough
Just reminding myself the truth is love


----------



## Crisigv (Aug 3, 2013)

Going to start getting better at calligraphy. I pick it up pretty easily and gives me a reason for my stationery addiction, lol.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Not the guitar I wanted but not a bad one to get either


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I'm changing, as time and space is rearranging
Erasing parts of me but replacing at the heart of me
Lately, I've been struggling daily 
Remember a time when most days were carefree
Was trying to get back there but it was getting me nowhere
So I refocused to find the future is where hope is
Doubt and worry sometimes still leave me feeling hopeless
But with time it always passes, I know this
Break free from chains of past torment
And keep moving forward from the present moment


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

It's 3AM and I'm on my mind again
Feeling my mental well being elevating from meditating
Wondering, can I transcend the moment
Feels like knowing without knowing how I know it
In life there's only one opponent
The only way to face it is to embrace it and own it 
We can't rewind time but we can free ourselves 
from the confines of the binds in our minds


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I need to start actually practicing playing drums


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I had this idea for a new YT series which would basically be playing a game in cosplay and then editing the vocals later too, but I'm not sure on how to go about it and there are several potential issues.

1. Either it will require creating the costume which would be difficult for me since I have no experience with that + might not look good or spending quite a bit potentially on a decent looking costume. I have at least one specific idea in mind for the costume and there are patterns on etsy but yeah no experience.

2. Don't really have any acting experience, may end up being very awkward.

3. Have to decide whether I want to put myself into the game sort of and how to do that/if that's feasible sort of like this guy:






involving a green screen I guess.

4. Following on from all previous points my video editing skills are very rudimentary.

5. Audio stuff. Would need a way to capture the audio better while wearing something that covers my head. May need to record it separately. But then would have to act it all out later in costume which would be weird but eh it might be necessary.

6. Nobody is subscribed to me for that, would still want to make existing content, this will take up lots more time.

I always come up with these unrealistic elaborate ideas that would be great but are out of my expertise area or something else is off. And by always I mean when I come up with an idea which is rarely due to motivation issues/depressive symptoms etc. I had some other costume YT channel idea in 2008/2009 although this is a bit more thought out it still requires a lot of things I'd have to figure out first and probably the most difficult acting in character.

If I manage to pull it off and it's not too cringe I think it could be pretty entertaining to watch, but would also give me an avenue to express myself in ways I can't do with normal content with my voice/appearance. Sort of like drag queen gaming but the opposite. I have multiple ideas for characters though, one would be sort of tied to one specific game but I also like the idea of doing something with dragon aesthetics.


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I hear whispers in my ear that no one else can hear
Begging me to give love another try
And I know the best things in life are that which you can't buy
Please tell me why it feels like I'll never love again?
I wish I could pretend holding on to you has only made my heart bend
But it breaks again and again
Cause if it didn't this love would be fake
But it's time I move on 'cause I know holding on to a past that's long gone for so long is my mistake


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I've realized how to see with my real eyes
Shedding my disguise, I'm on the rise again
Thought the downward trend would never end
On the mend, never a need to pretend
Transcend doubt like it's a godsend
Suspend my disbelief and find some relief
Full of self belief for a future I can't foresee
Keep moving forward at a steady speed without knowing if I'll succeed
Only one way to see, what will be will be


----------



## CeltAngel (Mar 24, 2021)

I'm thinking that I'm keen to continue the creative roll I've got going, but two hours sleep is not really enough to run on.


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

What happened?
When did I stop laughing?
When did I start to feel like I'm lacking in every area of my life?
When did this knife appear in my chest
When did I stop getting any deep rest
When did I start feeling stressed and depressed half the time
When did my mind no longer feel like mine?
When did I start asking myself if there's even a reason for me to breathe
When did my mind start to deceive me?
When will I be free from my insecurity?
When did I stop dreaming?
What happened to my feelings?
Why am I numb?
What have I become?
When did I start feeling like I'm noone?
So cold from the loneliness I'm feeling frozen
Spending most days coping, hoping I can stay open
But then my emotions flow in leaving me feeling broken


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

The pressures of this world aren't fair and sometimes they may leave you feeling despair, just remember to take in the air and trust there are people who care.

Take a breath, you've still got time left. When you're feeling lonely know you're not the only one and that weight on your shoulder might weigh a ton but 

"there will be peace when you are done." 

There's more to this existence than we can see with our naked eyes and sometimes our own thoughts arise telling us lies 

Some day, some time, some way I'll find the perfect rhyme to say what I need to say, how everything will be okay.


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Too much time to reflect and dissect my mindset I suspect it's the reason my emotions are sometimes leavin' me feelin' wrecked. 

When left unchecked my mind has a tendency to project a false reality making it hard to see what's right in front of me. 

I deflect negativity and interject with intellect to correct their fallacy when someone tries to step up to me and attempts to judge, I refuse to budge. 

I need to remind myself from time to time I am the architect of my own mind, to decline the ideas of others trying to infect my inner design.

When emotions are bursting, thoughts are stirring, it feels like we're burning and it all seems endlessly recurring...trying to find the right wording to say...

...nobody's perfect and even if we sometimes feel we have no purpose and we're feeling worthless I know we're all worth it.


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Floating on a river of emotion
Stilling commotion in motion
Flowing in stillness I open
Expansive like the ocean
Chosen words unspoken
Woven in a golden poem


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Days pass, fading into the past
What's happening now won't last
Unable to grasp the moment
Like sand slipping through our hands
Emotions overflowing like water from broken dams
Till it all settles like a single morning dew drop on flower petal


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

This morning my head's feeling foggy 
Looking towards the future but it's to cloudy for me to see
Despite the decreased visibility I possess the ability to express mental agility
High mobility, dodging bombs dropping like lyrical artillery
I maintain my dignity even though I know I'm sometimes lacking in humility
And it's killing me to know it would only be an act of futility 
I show no sympathy, I could write a symphony that exquisitely disses the whole industry
But I'll hold back to protect my own sanity


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Wish I could find a way to be happy somehow
but I'm feeling pretty crappy right now
I want to open my mind and let hope in my mind
Sometimes I find I just want to leave this place without a trace
The weekends are the hardest, take me up in space with the stardust
Take me away someplace far, to the farthest star
Someplace I can heal this scar


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I'm thinking I'm overthinking as my forehead is wrinkling it's giving me an inkling that it may be why I feel like I'm sinking 

Feeling a bit wound up, I need to slow down and backup, gently turn this around by calming down and tuning into the background,

Into the silence behind the sound and allow myself to unwind inside my mind and body to find and embody some peace of mind 

Taking a brief pause to step out of time decreasing my heartbeat and breathe to find some relief underneath these feelings that are concealing inner peace


----------



## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

I've been watching diorama videos on YT for a while. They're so amazing and I'm always in awe of how stuff is made. Just decided to watch this one video that looked really intricate so I was seriously excited... only to discover all the buildings were (I think) 3D printed and shipped in. For some reason, this really disappointed me and now I feel like an ***  Like, no, I don't care how much painting and scenery you did for this, why didn't you personally stack tiny bricks into multiple shapes, you lazy person?


----------



## Sainnot (Feb 6, 2021)

Many thoughts were circling through my head, but once I got to this thread, the only thing I could think is how Uncreative, non-artistic, and emotionally stunted I am. Well I guess I’ll try:

I don’t know how to
Make art because I have no
Creativity


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Every image of you in my mind makes me want to cry
Sometimes I don't know how I'm making it through, left here asking why?
You were the one and every day I ask myself if there's anything I could have done?
It's truly killing me, sometimes I wake up thinking you're next to me
Then my chest gets heavy as I come back to reality


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Breath deep and put a gentle intention on releasing the inner tension
Relax, allow the mind to unwind like a clenched fist releasing its grasp
Let go, gently put your attention on the breath, and let it flow naturally
Calmly relax the body, soften your heart in the center of your chest
Worry not about making mistakes just doing your best is all it takes
There's no pressure and when it comes to your worth there's no measure
Our thoughts can be deceiving and I know you may not believe me
But you don't have to for it to be true


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

The wind breathes through the leaves
Trees setting their roots deep
The world sleeps under the moon
Like the rising sun at noon the sleeping wake from their dreams
Streams of consciousness in a waking populace


----------



## Winds (Apr 17, 2011)

I just wanna chill
And embrace the vibes
Alone, in the dark
Until it is bright


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

We can cease chasing the thoughts in our mind by allowing them to run their own course 
Let them run free and wild till they settle, like horses running wild in a meadow 
Do not chase after the horse, be your own master, let your heart fill with laughter, 
Your mind with curiosity and wonder, to feel again as you did when you were younger 
Before the past and future filled you with fear, anger, sorrow, or resentment 
In the present, you will find peace, love, and contentment 
Do not resist for what we resist persists, let it be and you will begin to see 
To realize with our real eyes, the nature of awareness in disguise 
To see the beauty in the relation of the apple to the tree 
To see all life in loving harmony


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

The progression has a sort of STP vibe about it


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

@Canadian Brotha If you were referring to what I wrote and meant Serenity, Tranquility, and Peace, then thank you. It's sometimes hard to tell, you may have just been pondering your creative works. By the way I like your music.👌


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

When you're in the darkness just relax and breathe
The light will shine soon when you let it be
You'll see with clarity through the confusion created by the shadows illusion
Nothing to fret for fear itself isn't a threat
Nor is it a promise, we never know, simply rest in the calmness
Allow the process to take place at its own pace
No need to force anything, there is no race
Each time you will see a bit more clearly to the beauty in everything that is reality
Not separate from you and me
See through the illusion of duality
Life being taken far too seriously
Life is a dance to play and sing, within the flow of everything









Edit: Revised


----------



## firelight (Jan 31, 2019)

.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Fresh skins & a double kick pedal, my kit is getting so close to being ideal in my eyes, just need to replace the bass drum skins & sell a cymbal to get another one


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Reinstalling Windows & getting newer versions of Reaper & Acid Pro has been a good side effect of the interface in my mixer crapping out


----------



## Crisigv (Aug 3, 2013)

I tried my hand at watercolour markers (watercolour in general) for the first time. I'm not creative, artistic or anything so I don't know why I thought I could do this. But I don't think I did half bad for my first time. I just need to stick to simple things.


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I thought I knew you, now it's like I see right through you
Your true colors shown, two-faced
A heart of stone and I'm left with a bitter taste
Now when I look at you I can't keep a straight face
Cause' the pain has found its resting place in the center of my chest
What the f***, I'll put you in the back of my mind with the rest
You left me with memories that can't be erased, but you can be replaced


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

This isn't a confession, just me in self-reflection
I know many times I put on a show of perfection
In reality, it's just a form of self-protection from a fear of rejection
I tend to push people away the moment I start to feel a deeper connection
It's my fear of abandonment, though I'm learning how to better handle it
If love were a present, I'd be terrified to open it
If hope were a candle there are many times I find it hard just to keep it lit
I'm confident but I admit I still have a fear of judgment
Even though I tell myself it's nothin' and that I don't give a s***
Though I like to think of myself as emotionally intelligent
There are times I still get angry and throw a fit
Probably my PTSD but I won't let it be excused
My ego is still a bit bruised from being abused
And my mind is sometimes haunted by memories etched in my brain like tattoos


----------



## extremly (Oct 25, 2012)

I think it will be most impactful to show my main character engaging in self-destructive behavior across several chapters without any form of moralization from the narrator. I don't have to spell out the fact that something is wrong for people to grasp that is wrong. Showing the depravity without (my) the narrators input is more impactful I think. Like how Ian Bank's describes tragic, shocking things. I will also limit the amount of insight I give the reader into the character's thought pattern, is probably more realistic that way


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Feel in when you're around deep in my demons cease screaming
Revealing all these feelings I've been concealing
When you lean in I see the beauty in your eyes gleaming
When we're together it feels like I'm dreaming
Time seems to pass like the seasons
You've given me something to believe in
My heart's beaming for you without reason
You deepen my life's meaning
You ease all the pain and the fear
When I held you near our surroundings disappeared
I try to hide my vulnerable side
But all these feelings I can no longer deny
When it's just you and I


----------



## extremly (Oct 25, 2012)

I had such a great detailed dream that would have made a great story (happens when I drink cough medication). But again, I thought "it was such a vivid dream, no way I can forget it. I'll write it down later". Now the idea is gone...


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I adapt to every situation but never feel like I fit in
My heart's racing to the frustration in knowing that I'm different
Where's my home?
Sometimes I close my eyes cause I crave the unknown
Feel the blood in my veins and the pain so deep it seeps into my bones
Spent my time growing up alone with the monsters under my bed
Now they've manifested like a whisper tone conjured in my head
I try to hide all my scars
A distant stare like I'm gazing at the stars
Sometimes I feel like my body is just a host for a disembodied ghost
I feel no fear in knowing my soul wants out of here
It try to find a place away from the thunder and pouring rain combined
Just another beautiful mind waiting on the sun to shine


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

This anxiety inside of me will not release
I fight the beast to find some peace
I sit silently as the heat rises from the inside of me
When it feels like everybody's eyeing me
I know my emotions are lying to me
I keep the rage caged within
On the outside, I look tame
Feels like my blood's boiling beneath my skin
Took on all the shame as if I were the one to blame
Made me feel like I was full of sin
I refuse to play these childish games
I know this s*** isn't pretty
I won't give in to the pity
Even if people look at me differently
I'll stay gritty


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I need to calm down and come back to the ground
I can hear my heart pound like it's in surround sound
Remind me there's beauty abound
Gotta stay strong and remember we only see what we choose to focus on
Haven't seen you in a day or two and it was making me blue
Sometimes I forget who I am without you
At the same time, I lose myself in you
It's not good for my health, I need to stay strong in myself
Writing a rhyme to remind me what to do
Stay true


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Our brain is like a mainframe that we change
It doesn't have to stay the same
My mind is my domain
I am who I became
Through all the pain
When it's pouring just let it rain
The sun will always shine again
If life was easy it wouldn't be worth livin'
I don't waste time wishing
Feel the ambition
When I feel like giving up I never give in
Fear and anxiety, I don't resist em'
I know I'm different
The real me, I'm not afraid to show it
Feel my essence, it's in my presence
When I make a mistake I take responsibility and own it
I learned my lesson
The weight on my shoulders has lessened
I'm gracious for all my blessings
Feeling weightless
Aware of all our greatness


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

People fear what they do not understand
I'd rather be disliked for who I am
Then liked for who I'm not
I do my best to not give a damn
Sometimes I feel like an astronaut in a foreign land
I don't play pretend, I stay genuine
Overcame over analyzation through meditation
Do not try to people please
No longer freeze in conversation
Learned to get out of my head
By no longer thinking too far ahead
Don't jump to conclusions
It will only cause you confusion
Go easy on yourself cause' we're only human
Trust me, nobody has it all figured out
Everybody has to deal with worry and doubt
Find healthy ways to ease your mind
Change takes time
You'll be fine


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

This is just completely random writing without giving much time or thought about what I'm gonna say next. Just for fun.

Too lit man, God damn
If the party's on fire from the propane
It's gonna stain my veins
And leave bloodstains in my brain
These lyrics are insane cause they don't make sense
I stay present, don't speak in past tense
Just speaking off the top of my head as I invent this flow
Lost my innocence so long ago but I had to grow
When I was younger I thought I knew everything
Now I know I know nothing
A curious mind in troubling times killing time writing nonsensical rhymes
The dark side of my mind sometimes leaves me blind to the light that shines
I don't believe in heaven but I've experienced the divine
Don't claim to know what it is just know it felt like bliss
Like being kissed by spirits lips


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I'm doing okay, just pain from a broken heart
What can I say? Feels like I'm being torn apart
If only I knew better at the start of us
I gave you all me too quickly, my heart and trust
Now I'm feeling sickly, finding a remedy is a must
Quick highs only provide a temporary rush
I guess only time can hush the pain
But I'll always have memories of you in my brain


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

When I drive myself I feel alive in mind and body
Times got me by the second hand when I feel like I'm slipping and
Barely gripping reality as the barriers that hold us together fall apart around me
It can get lonely if you're the only one you know who can see
Not trying to preach or discuss, it's just an experience I'm conveying
It seems to me that possibly this is just a game we're playing
It's like we're livin' in a waking dream is all I'm saying


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

When we parted I told myself I hated you
In reality, I couldn't face the truth that we couldn't make it through
And it wasn't all you, I played a part in it too
There was love but we're both to blame for letting it go down the drain
I played it cool while you played it like a game
I guess we let the flame burn too bright too fast, there's no way it could last
Now you're just a memory, a part of my past
Maybe I can move on at last


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Why do I fall in love so easily?
Feels like there's something wrong with me
Maybe it's because I never learned to love myself
Always trying to find it in someone else
But I avoid talking about love because it hurts too much
Reminds me of the few times in my life I've lost someone's touch
And all the long lonely years spent alone in between
At least my life is finding a change of scene

A few days ago I saw an old friend from my high school years
We went to a bar and had a few beers
He says he's doing good, doing fine, living his dream
Couldn't help but compare myself, took a little hit to my self-esteem
I was happy for him
but couldn't help but hurt just a bit within
I guess it's just a part of being human

Even though I'm not where I would like to be
Reminded myself life is better than it's been in any recent memory
And it's because of me and the work that I put in
Made me proud of myself and put a smile on my face again


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Where do we go from here?
Everything is so unclear
We keep running from the fear
But the unknown was always here
We need to take the wheel and steer

I put my heart before my head
Think before what is said
But don't think too far ahead

Don't get lost in analysis
The present is all there is


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

When we go our separate ways
I just wish that we could stay
When I don't look your way
It's because there are things I want to say
Feelings that I just can't show
It's not the time or place to let you know
When it comes to love I tend to put my head after my heart
I know I should let this go before it starts


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Life can be full of pain
But nothing grows without the rain
Gotta stop looking at it as a bad thing
Like they say no pain no gain
Change our inner narration
Raise our inner vibration
When our heart's racing
Our fears we're facing
When we feel like we're about to break
Is the moment we're about to breakthrough
The more we try the more we see what we can really do
Life will always be up and down
But strength comes from picking ourselves up off the ground


----------



## firelight (Jan 31, 2019)

Creativity is like water and I am a parched desert.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I’m sure that excess noise is because the USB cables


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Find something to fill up your cup
Doesn't matter what
As long as it matters to you
Deep in our hearts is love
There's so much we can do
We just need to open it up
We just need to trust
It's been waiting patiently on us
Gotta acknowledge its presence first
At first, it's gonna hurt
All the pain and fear has been covering up our worth
It's been blocked for so long
But the love in our hearts is never gone


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Come Alive

You're your only obstacle
Make up your mind to become unstoppable
Stop being your own jailor
Move past your fear of failure
Fail your way to greatness
Success isn't gonna be painless
Get knocked down, Get back up again
Everything you've ever needed has always been within
It's like we turn a blind eye to the fact that one day we will die
To the point that we forget at this very moment, we're alive
Don't wait before it's too late to realize you're great


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

On my honor
This Self-pity I'm going to conquer
This life I will not squander
Change the filter of my mind
Live life outside the lines
Leave the past behind
Be a light that shines


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I will not fail
I'm sick of feeling like I'm in hell
Done with the wishing well
If my mind were magic I'd be the spellcaster
In control in the midst of chaos and disaster
A focus that cannot be distracted
Gaining mental clarity through daily practice
I had to adapt to this
Or I'd no longer survive on this atlas


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I will not fail in the end
I cannot say I will never fail until then
These feelings I must learn to transcend
Bend the light to pretend I see hope again
Keep a mind of zen
Ascend above the negativity within me
Every time I fail and try again I'm winning


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Moonbeams gleaming down on starlit streams
Funny things dancing in the darkness
Laughter creeps up from beneath the sadness of the gladness
Bellowing below the surface of the pond was an unheard song
Eternity spent without a soul to hear and sing along
In its lonesomeness, it began to wonder if it even exists
When at last it was able to hear its own musical tone
Though alone it now felt known


----------



## extremly (Oct 25, 2012)

.


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## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Looking for destinations to some new sensations
I have no expectations in my communications
Learning I can go beyond my perceived limitations
Looking for touch because I feel its absence too much
It was a rush to have a crush but I'm looking for more
I can hear my heart roar in the center of my chest
Warriors being put to the test in a world of anxiety and stress
Heart elevated but keeping calm among the rest
No emotions suppressed just not allowing myself to be possessed
Looking for a head to rest next to mine
For now, I just keep it zen till someone makes my heart shine again
Someone who I can't get off my mind filling it with thoughts again


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Maybe it sounds contradictory in its delivery
Don't want to lie, I don't want to die any time soon
It's not like I want to get to the moon
Just want to feel my heart swoon
Used to be obsessed with trying to find someone to fill up this thing that beats inside my chest
Felt like I was nothing without it causing me to feel depressed
Now it's been addressed and I don't feel the pain of its absence
Had to find balance and learn to feel good within through challenge
I don't feel like I'm lacking anything outside of myself
Just looking for something heartfelt


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I profess this world inside my chest is on a quest to be expressed
So many feelings to digest but only one I put above the rest
They say love always wins in the end but let's not pretend this is a fairy tale
Let's keep it real
But we gotta keep trying even if we fail to set sail into the sunset
Don't wanna live a life of regret so I'm dead set on finding it
You can't just wish it
It's all timing and a bit a luck to find your heart awestruck
If you're not living you just might miss it
When it comes to life you get what you give it


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Toxicity like smog from the city surrounds me
But compassion grounds me
It's astounding what a little bit of caring for another does for your self-esteem
Life can go from feeling like a nightmare to a dream
So many are competing but I'm seeing us all as a team
Finding amnesty from myself by treating humanity like we're family
One of the biggest challenges is staying humble
Just don't let it go to your head, not forced but rather subtle
Trust your intuition over your head and you'll rarely stumble
Have to find the worth in you that stays true no matter what you've done or do


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Mountains crashing down
Pounding the ground with rubble
Making a sound like trouble
Rivers overflow from their banks
With the strength of tanks
Cascading madly down the valley
Sun covered in clouds so cold they'd make you shudder
Pouring rain and crashing thunder
Trees snapping by lightning cracking
In the center stood a man
He breathed in and
Neither walked nor ran
Until its passing
Clouds parting
The man enheartened
Finding himself in a beautiful garden


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I like telling my story with poetry and rhymes but telling a metaphorical story is so much more fun.


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Things are complicated in here
There isn't much fear
Except for those kept far back in the rear
And it's usually pretty clear
But the depths get so deep
There's sometimes no time for sleep
When the wheels are turning
And no one's observing
It's hard to lure in
As it's conjuring
Deep pondering
Wandering in wonder
Sometimes a lover undercover
When vulnerability isn't allowed to show
Still learning to let it go
Deep in though
Is a tamed rage without needing to be caged
Won't be phased
Never felt a need to set it free except in nightmares
Of a past where it felt like no one cared
But I am aware
It's not everpresent
When it's gone who knows where it went?
Only moments when it arises
Sometimes it surprises
Waiting patiently to the breath
Till the brain switches left
While sitting in the fire
Remembering those who aspire
To be the best self they can be
Looking passive
But actually pretty active
Until silently it passes
Refinding center
To let the peace reenter


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## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Still have scars from times far in the past
A shadow cast over my heart
Sometimes making it hard to feel the love in me that's been there from the start
A part of me that's been waiting patiently
Making me not trust easily when it comes to love
Language of touch
Sometimes I think I feel too much
I love it but sometimes I think my hearts GPS is busted
It's hard for me to trust it
I don't always believe this
But I know my sensitivity is not a weakness
How can I defeat this
Still have anger like an open wound from a time long gone
Mentally I've moved on and usually feel pretty free
Still at times, the emotions in my body won't let me be
Could just be my complex PTSD
So much complexity in me
I feel like I'm a mystery I'll probably never solve
Lost in the abstract as the world revolves
Sometimes I look at the stars and wonder if I could make a call
This world doesn't always feel like home
Like it's a temporary place we roam
Close my eyes because I love the unknown
It reminds me of a home I'd forgotten I'd once known
Beyond all this skin and bone
Thankfully I've found new places I want to be
New faces I'm glad to see


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## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I'm rebellious by nature
Blame my creator
Don't care about the haters
They can't see my many layers
I'm on a search for something greater
Walking the edge of a knife
To find a deeper meaning in life
Don't care about the hype or what's popular
Using my third ocular to see past all the gossipers
I envision my future like an astrologer
Don't try and take me by the hand
I take my own command
Proud of the man I am
My secrets I'ma keep this
Defeat this defeatist in me
I won't leave this be
I'll never give in to the misery
Until the day it's ancient history


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I hope these HDMI cables will allow me to hook up all the screens as planned so that I don’t have to move anything to use the TV as a monitor during my guitar lessons


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Silently a noise violently shrieks from peaks in the mountains above the clouds
As crowds gathered to see, all wondering what it could possibly be
Something that could change their known reality?
Unluckily suddenly an utterly terrifying roar bellowed from the sky above
As people below began to shove others out of their way in fear they were prey
The brave chose to stay for it would be them who would be remembered this day
At the speed of a comet came an object but as it got closer it grew smaller as the people began to feel taller
In the end, it was just fear testing their courage that these people had chosen to nourish


----------



## extremly (Oct 25, 2012)

When I base my characters on people I have known intimately, they sound and feel more believable (to me). Curse my anxiety though! If only I had a wider array of humans to tap into, writing this part of the story I am working on would not be so difficult. I almost feel inspired to "go out there" and meet more people, collect more characters


----------



## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

I wonder if renting an upright bass is the kind of change I need in my life, I've played some at music stores and of course they're more fun than just a fretless electric bass guitar and I wonder if I'd be motivated to work on getting my intonation right.


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## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Kings without thrones
Skin and bones
Rising from beneath the stones
Bruised and scarred
Refuse to be barred
Battle-hardened and repaired
The world better be prepared
Antifragile minds
Unraveled the lines that confine
Those who dare to wear the crown
Have the strength to yield but will never back down
Break them down into the ground
They rebound with new strength abound


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## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I know this leaves some people who know me dumbfound
But I don't suppress my anxiety, I relax around it
Same with fear except here the emotion is more intense
That's why I rarely appear tense
I do suppress my anger when I'm in a situation where I can't easily getaway
Or I'd say things I don't want to truly say
I get out my anger in other ways
Following the wise and channel it into something like my writing or physical exercise
I know deep down there is an anger beneath the surface
And I believe all emotions serve a purpose
An old attitude of you can't hurt this
To protect me from the feelings of a time when I thought I was worthless
A time when people in my life were oh so hurtful
When I had nobody in my circle


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

That served as a good soundcheck, learned a good lesson about the vocal gate I had setup


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Every day I first see you it's like I've been kissed by death
Cause' for a moment in time I can't catch my breath
No lies, your eyes give me butterflies
I want to show you what lies you beneath the disguise
Sometimes I swear you feel likewise
But I know we're in a situation we just can't compromise


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

It may sound crazy
Wouldn't understand unless you were me
From the moment I felt death embrace me
I've waited patiently until it takes me
It's like I'm addicted to the Otherside
This life, I just see it as a temporary ride
Till the moment time and eternity collide
Took a walk looking at the stars
Thinking about this world of ours
How so many people around me are obsessed
With the fancy cars and shiny things they possess
Their chests compressed from the stress
Leaving them all wonderless
Sometimes I wonder this
What wonder is
A second sight that can ignite the darkest night
A gift that can bring us back to life


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

So high I try to defy all reasons why I cannot fly
I'm no angel, I have no wings
I see from new angles, creating new things
Possibility gleams through the seams
Like daylight streams through the window in light beams
Changing my viewpoint to get a new point of view
New ideas brew in my mind like new sights to the blind
Stepping outside the lines outlined to keep us confined
**** the imperious, this life is mine to experience
It's a hard pill for them to swallow when they're left feeling hollow
No desire to follow or be followed
Keep my mind agile like an acrobat
Out of the aftermath, I create my own path
Sit back and laugh at the sky while they all stare and wonder why


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Surrounded by the static I create magic
It's so automatic it's become a habit
Making my life feel cinematic
Was living in a past that was traumatic
But enough of that, I'm done looking back
Looking through from the galaxy behind my eyes
Seeing through the lies this world's comprised of
Find a balance between power and love
Don't know when to stop, I can't get enough
So I'll rise to the top looking down from above
A star looking from far beyond all the scars
A new existence created from persistence
A consistent vision
Given birth when imagination and reality had a collision


----------



## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

I bought myself a graphics tablet. A fancy one with a screen. I've had it for a week and haven't used it. Partly because of the heatwave and partly because... I don't feel like I deserve it. I don't really do art anymore, I don't have an imagination, so it's not like I'll be making great stuff like I see other people doing. I love the idea of using one... but I loved the idea of using markers until I realised my colour perception was ****ed and the damn things aren't streak-proof like they said. I can return it before Aug 11th. I probably won't. It'll just be another reminder of my failings. Like the £300 worth of marker pens that I don't use. And the art desk that I don't utilise properly. And the giant Doctor Who cross-stitch that I never finished.


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## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Thoughts twisted and criss crossed across my mind as they toss around outside of time
Delusions causing some confusion as my perception is covered with deception
Keep my cool till it all settles down and I can rebound from my heart pounding
In desperate need of grounding as the voices are sounding loudly
Proudly I'm doing my best even in moments when I feel like the universe is putting me to the test
I confess at times today my mind was a mess
So hard to see reality clearly but I'm learning how to see through the stormy weather
With the light mental touch of a feather I keep it together


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

If this purchase works out it’s a solid stepping stone given the interface in my mixer crapped out


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

"J, be happy!", Why are these voices so chatty?
Whispering in my ear everywhere I go like an invisible lackey
What the ****, at least they talk me up
I've become so used to them I'm able to see right through them
It's like having an invisible friend that I can't talk back to
Back two years I would react to all my fears
But in my ears all I could hear were their cheers
I guess I'm grateful they're not hateful


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I shot for the moon but I'm headed for the sun now
Hope I make it there before sundown
A showdown, a feud between me and my moods
Shifting my view
No longer at war with my emotions
Used to keep them in behind words unspoken
When I thought I was broken 
Till I let the gates of my mind open
My hearts still copin', speeding up and slowing
As I'm living in a world of never knowing


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I find the simple things can give me wings
When the rope is tightening
Appreciating the breeze lightens its grip
It can flip my mind from the dark side to the light
Without needing to struggle or fight
Helps to rewrite the story and remind me things are transitory


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Complicated circumstances as my brain dances around possible chances
I don't want to rush anything but I don't want my heart to sing if there's nothing here
So I keep my mind as clear as I can and don't let myself obsess as I've done in the past
Burned so bright so fast it would've never last
I'm in a better place, used to feel lonely now I like my space
I've got a bit of the feels but I won't let it feel real to protect myself
From a situation that would be causing so much mental complication if I let it
So I don't sweat it, let myself enjoy her company but I'm busy lovin' me
The situations hard to read so for now I'll let it be
The future's always full of possibility


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

At the end of the night when I turn out the light
At the end of my life when my eyes lose their sight
Spaces between behind the scenes
Places I've seen behind the screen
A place of dreams
I've known the darkness
The nights that were starless
What shaped this external hardness
I know the light
The other side of the darkest night
When this play ends
When the daylight ends
When my soul transcends
What will I remember?
Will it bloom like Spring or die like December?
But after every year there's a new one
I wonder when it all begun
There's the big bang but even nothing existed before it
In my mind, it's a strange thing and hard to ignore it


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

These feels are real, the seal on my heart has faded
Trying to get sleep but thoughts of you have invaded
The truth is the past left me with bruises
But I know the winning doesn't come without the losses
It's 1 AM and I'm feeling lucid, struck by cupid
This confusion has me feeling stupid
It's true, I begin to question the times I felt you felt it too
Images of you laughing are grabbing my attention
I wanna let you know my intention
I don't usually get distracted, but now you're my distraction
I can't help but feel the attraction when were interacting


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Fight these feelings or give in
Either way, I'm at war within
I know I need to slow down this time
I'll trust my gut and ignore the signs
It's just a part of my manic mind
You'd understand if you knew mine
I'd like to know yours more
Even as I write I go back and forth
Like a game of tug-of-war inside
Shove down these feelings and pretend they died
Am I just in denial, how can I break this cycle
I am my own rival


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Haha I'm taking this all too serious
Almost 3 am and I'm slightly delirious
It's all just an experience
I need to remember to enjoy myself
To put these feelings temporarily on the shelf
I have such a tendency to move mentally too fast
Always ending up with a crash
I've found balance in meditation
But you still break my concentration


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

My fear of rejection is hurting me more than its attempt at providing protection
Feel like I'm cut in half at the midsection
Pain spreadin' outward from my heart
I should have known better from the start
Why do I do this to myself? It's not the fault of anyone else
Confusion has made an intrusion, I can't come to any conclusions
I get my hopes up only to end up feeling cut by my own hand
I'm feeling cold like a snowman
As old feelings of loneliness are slowly trying to seep in from deep in
My fear of abandonment is creepin' in
As soon I get the feeling I'm always ready to leap in
What's wrong with me, sinking into the bottom of me
But I'd rather swim than sink
Just feel, don't think
Tears drop with every blink
It's like I'm living in the past in how I feel
This s*** is just too real


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Staying afloat but I feel like I can barely speak what needs to be spoken
Floating in emotion without mental commotion
Feeling all that these feelings bring
Overflowing like a wellspring
It's hurting but my eyes I'm not averting
I could use some novocaine cause I can feel everything
I wish I could hug someone else other than myself
Take another quarter and throw it down the wishing well
I can feel the pain in every living cell
But I've got the skills to cope
So I'll just observe all of me like I'm looking at myself through a microscope


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Calm peace surrounds me
Inside my emotions rest soundly
Close my eyes and listen to the sound around me
I've learned to let it be and now I see
Had to stop resisting to set it free


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I've learned my heart is my biggest weakness
So I'll throw away the key to this
Don't need any more of this so I'll reign over it victorious
Unbarred but I'll remain on guard
Till it rests in the graveyard
Maybe one day someone will pick the lock
With a soft beautiful knock


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Watching waiting while weaving wickedness
Darkness as thick as this has never before existed
Giftedly twisted its gaze can darken the brightest of day days
Its wicked ways can play tricks on the scripts in peoples minds
Dark times, darkness even spread to children's nursery rhymes
As warning signs for darkness so thick it'll leave you blind
Hope is the enemy, the light in the dark we only sometimes pretend to see
A spark in the dark to light a dim flame can reclaim what the darkness gained
Hope unchained, the darkness tamed the days become brighter again


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

"Please go and play." The voices say
Shut up and get out of my way
It's barely 5 AM and I've had enough of the day
I just wanna disappear, evaporate from the atmosphere
To be clear, I want out of this stratosphere
Feeling disembodied I want out of this physical body
Detached from the impact of heavy news
Bringing up the past, giving me the heavy blues
Heavenless, right now I don't want to exist
Feel like I've fallen into a pit that's bottomless
But I'm only human, don't know what the **** I'm doin'
I've yet to find a way out of this


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Feelin' a little high
The blues have lifted into a blue sky
No longer feel so heavy
My mind was in a crisis
Things were getting sketchy
No longer feeling lifeless
Feelin' revived, Feelin' alive
I knew I would survive
Now it's time to put the gear back in drive


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

When I look into your eyes I feel like I'm under hypnosis
I know you notice when you're in the room you're my main focus
I don't know what to call this, all this rawness
I've had so many losses in love, never felt enough
Then you come along and I'm not saying this is love but there's a beautiful song
I haven't heard in so long and yet the timing's all wrong


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Can't sleep, Don't bother counting sheep
I've come a long way from who I was in the past
Let so much of my life pass me by
I don't wonder why anymore
When it comes to the past, I closed the door
You came along and reminded me
There's more to life than just the need to breathe
Finding some direction
But I still keep up my protection
What would you say If I told you I've never let anybody too close
Never allowed myself to be too exposed
Spent my teenage years hiding in the shadows
Most of my 20's were full of manic episodes
I've pushed anyone who's ever gotten too close away
But now I feel like something's given way
I'm more willing to be vulnerable
Because the loneliness was intolerable
I have to open more and more
But the truth is I'm never fully open unless it's behind closed doors
I wish I could fully express myself to you
Show you me through all my points of view
I am more open than I've ever been
But I won't pretend, I'm always partly hiding him


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

In the past, I didn't care about my future
Now in the future, I don't care about my past
Working on myself has been the hardest task
When it comes to help, I don't usually ask
In the knowledge that solving my own problems creates growth that lasts
I still hold myself up to high standards
It's better than watching my life go by like a bystander
Perfect isn't what I'm aiming for
Just a bit better than who I was the day before


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I've been feeling so misunderstood
I know it's my fault for not expressing all of me as I could
The hard exterior is just a barrier
A wall I put up in my youth
That I've been slowly breaking down, exposing the truth of who I am
So much deep down, I'm afraid to break the dam
Overflowing, showing the man hidden behind walls so high they're impossible to climb
Growing up, expressing myself was treated like a crime
Told my deepness was a weakness
So I hid all my uniqueness
As I grow in time, more of myself I find
I now refuse to be anybody else other than myself
But these walls are so automatic
Letting them down is like learning a new habit


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

When emotions burst forth like an explosion
It can be hard to find yourself in all the commotion
But eventually, they calm like the tides of the ocean
When it comes to my emotions, I like to explore
To think less and feel more
Guided by my intuition and navigated with intention
Expanding into a deeper understanding
To ease the impact of any future crash landings


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Don't want to mind what other see, I just want to be me
The me that thought I was a mystery is history
I still have these walls that at times rise so tall
Head in clear skies but down here I still stumble and fall
A heart that's on fire from unfulfilled desire
Making its presence known, louder than a choir
Volumes of pain dialed up like an amplifier
I've tried to ignore my hearts blueprint
But it's like pretending I'm not as unique as my fingerprint
It shines so brightly my eyes squint at its glint
Been living life with my guard up
Keeping my heart locked up
Outside there's a tough skin
Never letting anybody in
But within I feel everything
Emotions flowing like a wellspring
My heart is looking for a new song to sing
So I keep hope and an open mind to what the future may bring
But I need to stay grounded and ready to reach for opportunities I can see
Because honestly not living in a daydream is still fairly new to me


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

The setup for the M-Audio Fast Track Ultra compared to the Fast Track Pro is so much better…still old tech by todays standards though


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I saw the demons in your eyes
To their surprise, I was their demise
Fought all the lies as they arise
One by one they burnt up in the sun
It was over before it had begun
They will run but they can't hide
I will stand by your side
Set aside all of my pride
I'm not just along for the ride


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

You take my breath away
I can't speak the words I want to say
You're the sunlight in my day
Put color in my world of grey
Feels like we're put on delay
I know you feel it too
I can't wait forever for you
You can't wait forever for me
What an awful card we drew
How can we let this be?


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

There's a desire that underlies everything we disguise
I feel the heat when you look into my eyes
There's no defeat, we're on the edge of a rise
Love that can't be expressed lights my chest
A love we can only dream to manifest
The sound of your laughter lingers in my mind long after
Our connection spreads through me like infection
A love injection


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I can't get you off my mind
So sublime to make you mine
We never know what we might find
We're dancing out of time
Every moment I'm awake
My dreams you always make
I can feel the wake in energy between us 
As it begins to connect and shake
For our sake, we fight the lust
There's a trust, we do what we must
Our bodies open speaking the upspoken
The fire in our eyes tell no lies


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Random thoughts, like astronauts, lost in the abstract
When tracked back to make contact with a past act
Not an actual fact but remains intact till the impact with the present
Like a comet in descent, no way to prevent the torment
But it can be lessened to an extent without any disorient to the mind
And she comes back every time, entering every rhyme
A beauty that's impossible to define
Distracting my thought process, holding me hostage
But I want stalk holmes cause she thrills me to the bones


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Finally! I found out what was clipping in the mix. I tried & looked for every thing I could think of under the sun, the drivers, individual programs, USB ports, various old forum threads that mentioned similar but different issues…& of course it was a much simpler problem with a simple solution…I didn’t see the tree in front of me because I thought what I was looking for was at the edge of the forest so that’s the direction my gaze became obsessed with


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

My escape used to be my spirituality
Out of body, never grounding me
To escape reality
But I've found a place I like to be
With faces I'm happy to see
Spent so long feeling locked up inside
Still learning how to open up
to a world I tried to hide from for so long
Singing a sad and lonely song
But those days now feel long gone
I've grown strong and moved on
Changed my view on life's meaning
Sent my biggest demon screaming
Changing the dream I'm dreaming
Giving reason to this breathing
Still healing this beating in my chest
Where all the pain has laid to rest
Where so much has remained unexpressed


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Today the loneliness is creeping back in
I'd been wonderin' where it's been
Good things on the horizon
But I still feel like I'm stranded on an island
In the lonesome silence, I'm crying
As I feel the sorrow rising
My throat begins to tighten
Tears I'm wiping from my eyes
But from my past, I've grown wise
Don't listen to the lies my mind tries to devise
Let the thoughts come and go as they arise
Till I realize this is temporary
And all my fears of the future in the present are only imaginary
Rarely does worry come true
Changing my point of view
I can see through the blue mood
Leaving me feeling renewed


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Revised the above...


Today the loneliness is creeping its way back in
I'd been wonderin' where it had been
Good things are coming on the horizon
But still, I feel like I'm stranded on an island
Inside in the silence, I'm crying
As I feel the sorrow rising
Wisened, I turn my eyes in
I pay no mind to the lies my mind tries to devise
Let the thoughts come and go as they arise
I've realized it's all temporary
My future worries in the present are only imaginary
Rarely do they come true
And never like they do in my mind's view
Now I can see through my blue mood
My view is no longer skewed
Feeling renewed
With a new attitude


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I saw you smile as the wind blew through your hair
A moment frozen in time where I felt like I was floating in the air
I could see the reflection of the skies and the glare of the sun flickering in your eyes
I love the highs every time we say hi, I even love our goodbyes with your smile like a sunrise
I'll never tell you any lies, I want let you know what's on my mind...and it's you every time


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## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

My past is coming up and it's struck me like thunder
No wonder I'm balling while tears are falling
In my mind a younger self calling from a time not too far behind me
In my writing I find me as it reminds me to be present
A place of peace, calm and contentment
Looking back I see this moment has always been my reality
Now, I'm back to living in 3d
Believe me, I spent years living in my head
So worried about every word I said
Constantly trying to predict what might be ahead
Only brief moments of relief from the dread
The weight on my shoulder
Making me feel mentally and physically older
The pain in my chest
That still hasn't been put to rest
But I'm glad life has put me to the test
Looking back I can see I was always doing my best with what I knew
And because of all the pain I grew
When the rain seeps through the soil and the flowers begin to bloom
Opening under the sun and closing under the moon
As the breeze through the leaves sings a soft tune
What we struggle with now can sometimes be a future boon


----------



## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

I've been working on an art piece this week. Not my usual stuff and it's just decoration for my room when I finally move out. I was gonna put it up on DeviantArt when I finished, which should be tomorrow or Tuesday. Today I read my horoscope which told me to accept a job offer I get this week, that I wouldn't have been picked if I wasn't worth it and that I'm more talented than I think. I don't pay attention to horoscopes really but this has actually given me anxiety, to the point that I might wait a week before posting on DA. That can't be a normal reaction...


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Thinking back to a time when I felt dated
When I used to wonder why I was created
Now the past feels like it's faded
I've waited for this moment when my life now feels like it's been elevated
Simple yet complicated
Not sure these feelings can be translated into words
As I move towards a future of possibility
It's thrilling me as I try to maintain my humility
Thinking how we never know when the end could be
As I feel the life force course through my body
Reminding me how, in this very moment, I'm alive right now


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Your eyes, my butterflies
Dancing around one another clockwise
For you I compromise
Like heat waves under blue skies
Our love's on the rise
When the world around us dries up
We'll nourish it from our overflowing cups
You opened the door
I knew you were the one I've been looking for
You make my mind and heart soar
I feel like a child on his birthday
A world of grey now full of colors
I see only you, no others


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Well you opened up the door
I swear I haven't felt this way before
And I can't just let this be, my heart has room for two
One half was made for me and the other half I wanna give to you
I promise you I'll stay, I'll never walk away
You make me feel this way
You are worth the wait, just one more day...
And there's just one word I want to hear you say...


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Love and war
You've got me feeling raw
I'm in my feels, this is for real
It's like that, you got me coming right back
Before I die, I wanna give you a try
You and I are the perfect recipe
I wanna give you the best of me
I don't wanna go back home
I won't ever leave you on your own


----------



## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

For years I kept wanting to resume my world building project I started in my teens. I use to draft, write and drew everything ideas and all on a few notebooks. I manage to stumble across them again many years ago when I was digging through old boxes. It brought me back so much nostalgia. Most of the ideas were pretty stupid, but the overall of it was pretty cool. I was still baffled how much imagination I had even at that age. I think I stopped around the middle of high school when my social life finally took off. I had friends and relationships. I didn't even care about the project or thought about it again. A few times I was really close to just trashing the notebook feeling embarrassed by it.

Stumbling across it as an adult, it inspired me to want to get back to it, but now with a much more mature and educated spin. Having more experience and knowledge of the world now. Knowing I could incorporate much better themes to it this way.

For a few months around the summer of 2013, I did started on resuming it. I was quite depressed at that time and I used it to kind of cope. I managed to put a lot of the ideas together digitally so I could work on changing them and playing with them easier. But then I stopped again after awhile when more life stuff ruined my mood yet again. Past years I keep trying to resume again on/off to no avail. I keep procrastinating. Usually by the part of the day where I have time to do so, I am just too mentally tired. And I just want to relax with my brain turned off.

In all now, it's still kind of sad at my age now where I now back to doing something so juvenile I guess. When I should be focused on more important things. I never thought I will be back to thinking about this now. 😅 But the creativity and imagination always seem to provide me a good escapism for my mental health.


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

My insecurities are obscuring me from my ability to see clearly
Am I giving up prematurely?
Did I ever stand a chance in this dance of possible romance?
My thoughts are telling me I'm a fool
Now I just play it cool
I admit I am a bit of a flirt
And now that I feel something real
I'm afraid of getting hurt
The seat of the soul
Heart like a burnt out piece of coal
I know my worth, I thought I was ready
But the weight of my insecurities is just too heavy
As the past creeps up from where it last left me
So here I stand, a man, giving up on love again before it even began
Shutting down his heart like it were a work of art
A masterpiece, rapidly restoring my sanity
No more anxiety when she's sitting beside me
By relieving the agony of a fantasy between her and me as a possibility in my mind
I'm no longer in a bind
I'm tired of feeling the pressure like I need to impress her
Making me feel like I'm in a compressor
These feelings have brought up the past to haunt me
And now as it taunts me I feel I may not be ready
Maybe I'm still on the mend and it would be better to just be her friend in the end


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Yesterday I felt like a wreck
Today was a reality check
The past is like a speck in my rear view
I can see through the darkness
Far from heartless
She opened my heart
Now we go together like a work of art


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

She loves puzzles and has trouble falling asleep
I'll always be there to sweep her off of her feet
If she gives me her heart I'll take it
I promise I'll never break it
I know we can make it
My arms will be a place she feels safe in
Listen closely to every word she says
When she doesn't know how beautiful she is
I'll tell her over and over so she'll never forget
I'll give so much more than I get


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

When I'm with her I can feel my heart beat and my blood rush
And she's so cute when her face gets blushed
I know I make her nervous but that's okay cause she does the same to me
When I close my eyes at night she's the only one I see
The way she occasionally stares deeply deep in thought
Makes me wonder what's on her mind, I know she's on mine a lot
The way her eyes change colors in the light from green to brown
And her laughter is the most beautiful sound
Her loving nature makes me think heaven made her
And her smile's so beautiful I know the whole world would concur


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I've got a hundred thoughts on my mind
And she's ninety nine
She shines so bright
She's my guiding light
Like a lantern in the dark
She's the spark that ignites my heart


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I keep the thought of you in my mind
Cause' when it's dark you're a light that shines
I pay no mind to the signs I see
Trust in the reality that's right before me
When I'm with you my worries melt away
The way your body sways when you say hey
Takes my breath and in my chest there's a theft
You stole my heart, now please don't break it
You were the one to wake it up from it's slumber
It's a wonder how you make me feel 10x younger


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

It’s seems I can use the Asio driver to run both interfaces simultaneously, however, it means I can only run the MIDI keyboards via USB, using the Asio driver rules out using MIDI via the porta on either interface


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I'm getting close to you
I've got feelings I wanna show you
You're the best thing to happen to me
I wanna give you the best of me
You make my heart shine
You brighten my mind
It's been a long ride
Finally we collide
Most my thoughts you're occupyin'
And when I say I'm fallin' for you I ain't lyin'


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I'm sittin' at home with smoke in my lungs
Thinkin' about how you could be the one
Baby you're so stunnin'
I wanna give you all my lovin'
You're runnin' circles in my mind
You're only crime is you stole my heart
It's only the start and I'm already missin' you when we're apart
I don't need no one else, I want you a la carte


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

When I'm with you I feel blessed
You take my breath till there's no air left in my chest
As my heart is put to the test
Beating so fast as it does it's best not to go into cardiac arrest
As I confess how I feel about you
I wish you could see yourself from my point of view
So you'd never have doubts about your true beauty inside and out


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

This is the part at the start when we're apart and my heart misses yours
The only cure is your presence so that I can adore all that you are
Your essence is so pure it's like you're from the stars
I wish you weren't so far away, every time you leave I just want you to stay
You keep the thoughts that betray me at bay
Spending time with you is the best part of my day
I know we never know the future and it may not always be this way
So lets not waste time and dance the night away


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I would have never imagined
That this would have ever happened
You've seen me when my world was blackened
Didn't leave my side till the light shined again
When I'm with you I just keep it simple like zen
I'm open but I've yet to let you fully in
I'd been wonderin' when someone like you would come around
I feel like a king with his crown who's found his queen
You've got my brain high on dopamine
I ain't ever seen someone like I see you
I'ma do my best to continue to appreciate every little thing you do
As long as we're together, even in the stormy weather
I ain't looking for temporary, I'm looking for forever


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I went through hell to get here
Felt the pain in every cell year after year
Couldn't see a way to dispel the loneliness and fear
I would worry and dwell on everything
And didn't know how to deal with all suffering it'd bring
Back then I'd never of been able to foretell I would find my way one day at a time
That my mind would become a place I feel safe in
That I would walk around with a grin
I didn't understand you sometimes have to fail to win
As I reflect on where I've been I see how far I've come
I finally feel alive instead of numb
I need to remember I'm doing better because it's the outcome of everything I've done


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I'm sittin' here tryin' to think things through
You've got me trippin' as I'm distracted by thoughts of you
Writing is my passion and you're my muse, what can I do?
I hope to one day reveal everything I feel but it's too soon to show
I never want to have to ever let you go, so I take things slow
I've been cut deep in the past and I've moved too fast
For reasons I don't know just the thought of you silences my demons
I hope I get to grow with you through all of the seasons
For as long as I'm still breathin'


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Finally caught up on some sleep
I can tell I'm falling in deep when you're in my dreams
You're in my blood stream
In my eyes you're the most beautiful sight I've ever seen
I feel like a teen again
Back when my crushes left me feeling loveless
But I rose above this and found you
If only you knew everything I've been through to find you
I know these rose tinted glasses won't last forever
But whatever I'ma still treasure you flaws and all
Cause' whenever you call my heart beats faster
But it's okay cause' it's a feeling I'm after anyway
It just shows me how I feel about you
I just don't want to mess this up cause' these feelings are true


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I'm a bit afraid cause' I know love can hurt much more than hate does
I believe in us and it's a must that we always have trust
I've seen relationships combust cause' there was a false love
Too many expectations of how the other person should be
As they try to change each others reality
With a lost sense of individuality
I'ma always let you be you and love all of you
And I hope you do the same for me too
You're on my mind a lot but I won't lose myself in you
Remember even if we're together, we're still two


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I won't make promises that I can't keep
I feel like I love the whole world when you're beside me
The concrete city streets become paved in gold
And I can't see a world where your hand won't be mine to hold
But I need to slow down and come back to the ground
You've got my heart glowing and I feel like I'm floating
I'm just hoping things works out in the end
I promise I'll never break your heart but If you ever break mine I'll be left on the mend
And why do I get so nervous when I look into your eyes?
Butterflies spread their wings and all I can see are clear skies
All the years of tears and heartache
I used to think I'd never find someone who's worth the wait


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

It's what you do to me
I feel your energy movin' through me
You liked me since you knew me
You were right in front of me and I couldn't see
Now all I want is a world where it's just you and me
I've got friends but in the end I've always been a bit of a loner
You're the only one I want to let get closer
I don't show it on the surface but you make me nervous
I've grown a lot since the last time cause last time I ****ed up big time
And in my mind I'm afraid I'ma do it again
So I pick up a pen and put down how I feel and then when you're around I play it down
I'm cautious, my mistakes in the past were unconscious
This time I'm prepared to show you I care
Nervous but not scared to open to you
This time everything feels so new


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Nobody's perfect, It's gonna be worth it
You showed me love, now I'm addicted
We're like fittin' puzzle pieces clickin'
I'm stickin' around cause' I know what I've found
I don't want to ever let you down
So glad you found me now
Thankfully you didn't see the man I used to be
I wasn't looking but here you are and now I'm ready
You've got me if you want me
If you break my heart it'll haunt me
Even though I know I'll survive
I still want you while I'm alive


----------



## Known (May 9, 2021)

Gently gently touching fragile heart
Carefully tugging at heart strings
Playing it like a guitar
Releasing a sweet song 
Wrapped up in the cords loving kindness
Back into the rhythm 
Be still quiet heart
Away from the loud turmoil
Be released sweet bird to fly
No longer in that prison 
I am the Lord who heals you


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I know when I'm alone I don't have to feel lonesome
I've just got so much love and I want to show some
Still I feel a bit lonely even though I know I don't have to be
It's temporary, it never lasts
If I don't resist it it'll be gone pretty fast
I can already feel it starting to pass as I write
Seein' the light again as it bends the thoughts in my head
Twisting them so I can see something better ahead of me
Even though I know my thoughts aren't reality
Especially when they're future focused
I don't believe in the law of attraction, to me it's hocus pocus
I believe in action on any possibilities I notice


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

My writing doesn't come from my mind it comes from my soul
You've got my whole heart and I express it through my art
I'm giving you both parts cause' I don't wanna fall short
When were together I hope we never fall apart
Sometimes I need my space
But it'll never mean anything could ever replace you
I learned from my past and grew
I feel like this time it's something new
And your compliments to my poems and the pictures I drew
Showed how you appreciate me
You'd probably think I'm crazy if you knew how much you're on my mind lately
But then I wonder if you do the same too
Something inside me tells me it might just be true


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I love it in the night time
The best time to find me in my right mind
It's got me thinkin' of summer days
Days when we can get away
I've got these memories of us together
These memories will live forever
They'll never fade
I feel like we're on the same page
Still I need to keep a steady pace
If this we're a race you're already winnin'
My heart is yours, it's a given
It's all a little too much
And I'm in need of your love


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I've known you for two months and as we speak,
I've grown to like you now for three weeks
My whole life I've been in and out of hell
That's why it's hard to let you in
"Oh well," that's what I used to tell myself
While insisting that I don't need no help
I know if I mess this up, I'll be messed up
So I open up cause' I want your love
When you took that risk it was a sight to see
Showed me you'd risk your life for me
I wanna show you I'd do the same for you too
I'm not in a rush and maybe it sounds like too much
But I'ma give you all my trust cause'
Through all this writing and reflecting I just realized I'm in love
I thought I was just falling in but now I'm all in


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

You thrill me but this waiting is killin' me
I'll wait as long as I have to
I just wish you knew how I really feel about you
I'll admit I feel a bit agonized by our goodbyes
You can see it in my eyes
But you're smile like a sunrise reminds me tomorrows a new day
I've got so much I want to say to you
But I haven't had the chance to say what I need to
I pretend like it doesn't hurt but it never works
I'm addicted to you like cigarettes
You've got my heart on fire and I don't want no regrets


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

As I try to keep my head level
In one ear I'm hearing an upset devil
The other has an angel trying to sell me hope
As I cope trying to dodge
The mental barrage
Of negative thoughts
Tying me up in knots
From my blind spots
The past comes up and haunts me
Taunting me it's exhausting
It costs me so much sleep
I've lost count of counting sheep
So I keep in mind all the times
Things were much worse than this
When my life felt purposeless
When people weren't who they appeared on the surfaces
But I've learned from this
As I had to adjust
Just so I could trust again
As the dust settles within
I begin reflecting on where I've been
And seeing how far I've come
How I now feel alive instead of numb
But I need to remember I'm doing better
Because it's the outcome of everything I've done


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Tabbing in Guitar Pro is convenient as you get used to it but sometimes getting the timing or technique is a real challenge, & sometimes it could just be how the synth plays it back too


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

This girl's got me fallin' in love
And it's got me thankin' up above
The universe has me waitin'
I traverse her presence with mine, stayin' patient
Waitin' for the right time
Lookin' for a sign but I know they're all in my mind
The silverlinin' is she keeps eyein' me
While I act like I can't see her movin' closer
I keep composure
I can't wait till this is over
I know that I want you
But I succumb to every doubt
About whether this is gonna work out
For now, I'ma keep showin' you more of who I am
Until you're calling me your man


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

When you leave I can hardly breathe
You've got me, it's killing me softly
But I can't show it too soon
Today we talked all afternoon
Singing the same tune
Your eyes are so bright
And I know you see the light in mine
But do you know you're the one who makes em' shine?


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Look in my soul
You'll find a gaping hole
I'm escaping the toll I've paid
You're making the pain fade
The weight that weighed me down
The thoughts that made me drown
No longer come around
And I ain't goin' nowhere
If you need me I'm near
And it's clear to me
I care for you dearly


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

3AM and you're on my mind again
I drop my pride
Let you inside
I need to confide
I'm waking up with you on my mind
Love in the past has been hard for me to find
I won't let it pass me by this time
Even though we're going slow
I don't show inside I don't ever want to let you go
Every time we part
My heart comes apart at the seams
I wake up in the morning before the sun rises after my dreams
And you're shining through my mind likes streams of light beams


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I don't know how to do this
I've been alone for so long
And all of these bruises
Still aren't gone
I feel like we're the perfect match
But I don't know how to detach
You make me feel alive
And when you're away like today
My mood takes a dive
Without you today I felt so alone
All the isolation deep beneath my skin
The cold chill within my bones
When I'm with you is the only time I feel at home


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

You've got me thinkin' how you're inked in my heart
How you're in almost every piece of my art
They say don't put all your eggs in one basket
What I feel for you I can't mask it
I have friends but I won't pretend that I don't want just you and me in the end
You're a godsend and I can't apprehend how you came into my life at just the right time
You found me in my right mind
Everyone's got issues
Mine is how much I miss you
The text you just sent saying hi
Lifted my mind into the sky
You want to take it slow, I'm game
I will never look at another woman the same


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Sometimes it may be hard to tell what I'm thinkin'
And in the past, it's been hard for me to let people in beyond skin deep
Might as well have been asleep while I was awake
Caught up in my head hiding from all the heartache
Look in my soul and you'll find a hole
Full of memories that can't be erased
Sometimes I catch myself staring into space
Caught up in thoughts of a different time and place
Temporarily feeling like the old me
A time when I felt so lonely within
All the isolation beneath my skin
The cold chill deep in my bones
You could hear it in my vocal tones
When I barely felt alive
When inside I'd try not to cry
And I told myself I didn't know why
As I turned a blind eye to reality
Afraid of what I'd see
Till I opened up my eyes and saw the beauty right before me
As wonder floods my mind again
Releasing the grips of the emotional arrest I've been in
Rememberin' how to come back to the now
Entering the flow as I let go of the constant need to know


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

In my meditation
I'm having trouble concentrating
Thoughts of you are circulating
Close my eyes for a while
And I start to see your eyes and your smile
So many things I could do with my time
But I spend most of it with you on my mind


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Feels like I'm walking the edge of a knife
When everything in my life feels so fragile
I do my best to stay agile and adjust
But I cannot seem to trust myself
With the waves of emotions I've felt
Over the past few days
All the ways it plays on my moods
The highs and lows have got me confused
And my heart is feeling a bit bruised
Every time I see you I feel moved
But then you go and I can't soothe the pain
You're the sun and I'm the rain
My bipolar brain in love has me questioning if I'm sane
It's too late now I've got you runnin' through my veins
You're a part of me and I'm forever changed


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

In my mind, I struggle and fight
Thinking about how to get this right
And I realize nothing's ever perfect
Now I can see I've been putting all my worth into it
Whether or not this works in the end
As our realities start to blend
Losing myself in you and all the things you do
And it's true I was less blue before I fell for you
It's not your fault though
It's just all these feelings I can't show
That cause me heartache when we take it slow


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I'm doin' my best
And I confess
My heart's ****ing depressed
Without you around I'm kind of a mess
I don't even know how I'm handling the stress
Of these feelings that rest
In the center of my chest
That I can't express
Waiting till they can be addressed
Cause it's true I can't keep my eyes off of you
All I wanna do is tell you how I feel
My biggest strength is that I keep it real
My heart you never had to steal
Cause I gladly give it to you
So I'ma see this through
Despite the pain
And my overly emotional brain
Nothing's perfect
But you're worth it
And when it comes to love I finally feel I deserve it
So I'ma go through all this hurtin'
And don't you think you're ever a burden
This is on my end
I'm afraid to get hurt and so my true feelings I hide them
And we're going slow
Still my biggest fear is you're gonna go
And I know we never know the future
But if you leave my heart's gonna need sutures


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Got cable swap sorted, although may need one more still


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I'm done fallin'
Feet finally on the ground
I'm still all in
But things are simpler now
I feel like myself again
No longer lost in you
Rediscovered my Zen
And through the pain, I grew


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I'm concerned I let you down
I just want to correct this now
Show me how to release this
As I drown in my broken pieces
Waiting till this pain ceases
So I can find the place where my peace is


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Tune the Batter Head to precision & then add the Reso Head & tune it, that’s the key to getting a decent kick drum tone without pillows or dampening pads


----------



## CoffeeCat (Feb 16, 2019)

I've been looking at a lot of Alexandre Diboine's art and it really makes me want to learn how to model in blender. I just wanna get a good night's sleep first.😄


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Life can get so complicated
But I don't question the worth in how long I've waited
Spent so long wondering why I'd been created
If this was the life I was fated
Feeling lost as the world rotated
Waiting for the pain in my chest making it hard to catch my breath to be alleviated
Put up walls so high they're now armor-plated
A shadow of my past cast over my heart that only love can make illuminated


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Lately, I've been feeling so depressed
I can't get any deep rest
I feel like I've regressed
So I take a look at my progress
To remind myself this is a process and I'm doing my best
But in times when I feel so prone to feeling like I'm all on my own
Even when I'm not alone
Leaves me feeling like I've got nothing left
Like there's been a theft in my chest
And all I want to do is take my final breath
A sound of isolation in my vocal tones
A chill that seeps deep into my bones
Thinking about how much I've grown
But I still can't escape the loneliness
And in moments when it hits heavy like this
I just wanna call it quits
When every day feels like a hit or miss
I feel like I'm gonna break under this weight
I can't contemplate my way out of this fate
As I awake to a new daybreak
With the same old heartache
But I know it would be a mistake
To make a decision in this mind state
So when my joy seems to be on latency
And my heart's in vacancy
I wait patiently
And thanks to the grace in me
My mind contains some sanctity
Sometimes it's just hard to see
As this road I've walked has taken it's toll
I'm whole but feeling empty
As dark thoughts tempt me
And believe me, I've got plenty
But I'm not giving in
This battle beneath my skin
Is a battle I'm determined to win
And when my time comes
And the last breath of air leaves my lungs
And I think of the sum of the life I've lived
I'll know I gave it all I had to give


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

An edited version of above

Lately, I've been feeling so depressed
I can barely get any deep rest
A couple of hours at best
Waking up in cold sweats
To dreams that are hard to digest
And it feels like there's been a theft in my chest
As it's getting harder to catch my breath

And I've been feeling possessed by feelings of loneliness
As I try to find my way out of this abyss
And I know what we resist persists
I trust that in time this heaviness will lift
It's just that time can be a curse or gift
It's useless to fight this
You're guaranteed to miss
It's like trying to use your fist to hit a cloud of mist
In the midst of thinking about all that I've missed
I made a checklist
And despite it feeling hopeless, I even made a wish
But I still haven't checked every box off the list
Like a reason why I even exist

I find in dark times my mind is obsessed with thoughts that upset
Addicted like cigarettes to thoughts of death
I've meditated on over a hundred million breathes
But I'm still afraid I'm gonna die in this loneliness
And I'm doing my best to find my way out of this mess
But you don't wanna know where I placed most of my bets

Lately, I've been hurting
And I've been feeling more like a burden
And it's hard to find the wording
For feeling all on my own
Even when I'm not alone
I have all these numbers on my phone

So please tell me why am I so prone to this feeling of isolation
And it's creation of thoughts that manipulate my imagination
Causing hesitation from thoughts of catastrophization
Skewing my interpretation of my current situation
Still knowing this doesn't always fully alleviate them

As my heart is aching
Leaving me thinking...

If I didn't exist would I really be missed?
Is there something more than this?
Is there an Otherside?
A place where time and eternity collide
But as long as I'm on this ride
I can't seem to escape times of loneliness
And in moments when it hits heavy like this
I just want to call it quits

I feel like I'm gonna break under this weight
I can't contemplate my way out of this fate
As I awake to a new daybreak
With the same old heartache
But I know it would be a mistake
To make a decision in this mind state

So when my hearts in vacancy
I wait patiently
And thanks to the grace in me
My mind contains some sanctity
At times it's just hard to see

As this road I've walked has taken its toll
I'm whole but feeling empty
As dark thoughts tempt me
Believe me, I've got plenty
But I'm not giving in
This battle beneath my skin
Is a battle I'm determined to win


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

They say fake it till you make it
But I can't stand fakeness
So I'm gonna discover my greatness
Without all the fake ish
And I don't believe in making a wish
Down the well into the blackness
So I'm gonna find my way out of this sadness
Even if I have to rap this


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Sometimes one can’t fit all the ideas into a single poem…I need to make some reading vids again


----------



## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

I came up with three lines for a fragment from 2017 recently.


> I peer into a pint of porter, dark
> with the soot of working-class London.
> It shares with other beers a humble pedigree,
> a bittersweet history which ends
> in a head crowned in venerable white.


Among other things, the heads of dark beers aren't usually white but I don't know what other color term to use that would preserve the "old man with stories to tell" metaphor.. I don't think grey or creamy would work would they?😶


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I thought I'd been in love before I met you
But it's true when I say this is something new
I can't explain how much I adore you
I walked through fire for you
In the growing pains, I grew
You stayed by my side even when I felt like I'd died inside
Showing me you're not just along or the ride
Even when I tried to hide my pain with my pride
And push you away you still stayed
I didn't think it was possible but I fall for you more every single day


----------



## rabidfoxes (Apr 17, 2016)

Barakiel said:


> Among other things, the heads of dark beers aren't usually white but I don't know what other color term to use that would preserve the "old man with stories to tell" metaphor.. I don't think grey or creamy would work would they?😶


I think you're definitely allowed that much poetic licence, it's a small jump between tan/cream and white. It's perfect, no change needed!


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I don't have enemies
But I've got people tryin' to take my energy
So I'm setting my boundary
I see you manifesting conflict where there isn't even any
You wanna cross the line with others, fine
Just don't cross it with me
I'm proud of my masculinity
But don't get it confused with my divinity
Our paths have crossed
This is my gain and your loss
I am my own boss
This isn't about you, this is my life that I value
I do what I'm gonna do and I don't need your permission
or misguided opinions to follow through


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I’d forgotten how mind bending drumming is in terms of trying to have each limb maintaining a distinct rhythm is, it’s like I can literally feel each hemisphere straining & in different areas as well. It’s one thing to keep a beat but when you get into some serious polyrhythms it’s another


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Caught up in a world that can be so deceiving
When trying to find a deeper meaning
Strictly speaking
I'm tired of the industries affecting our waking state of dreaming
Magazines with photoshopped dreams
Cookie-cutter guidelines guiding us in lines to dollar signs
But I won't move through this life blind
My mind is mine
I'll walk outside the confines that they've defined
So that I can find some peace of mind
Thought control confining our souls
Making us feel as if we aren't already whole
Setting fake standards of beauty
If only you could see through me
In my eyes
Shining like a ruby under the clear skies of a sunrise
As the clocks second-hand stops to watch the blooming of sundrops
As the sun drops behind the horizon
I'll live this life on my own terms or go out fighting like Tyson
Speaking my truth through lyrics so enticing
Is it really so surprising
That so many of us feel as if instead of living we're merely surviving
In my imagination, I can see a world rising where everyone is thriving
I can only hope to see the day when my imagination and reality start colliding


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

My mixer breaking makes running everything both from the amps & PA is so much more of a tedious process…

And I wonder if that adaptor & not the channel on the mixer is the issue…perhaps it’s both the adaptor & the channel though


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

A shadow of the past cast over the heart
A forgotten love that's been there from the start
A love that's been masked that asks nothing in return
Revealing the truth that lies beneath years of lies
Told by those with blind eyes that's now begun to become undone
A heart yearned, A trust earned, a presence returned
The moment he owned it, facing his only opponent
A bestowment of self-compassion leaves him laughing at the sky
As bystanders stand by wondering why
A glimmer in his eye as nearby birds let out a cry
As he let out a sigh of relief as he's relieved of his false belief


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I was up feeling emotional at 3 in the morning
I wish I hadn't but I couldn't help but feel like calling
Were you up making friends with the ceiling?
Trust me, I know the feeling
I don't ever want to let you down
I just needed to work this **** out
Taking a walk around my town
Trying to clear my mind of this doubt
I know when our eyes meet tomorrow
A smile on both our faces will follow


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Everything is alright in my mind when I'm by your side
When our eyes meet it feels like time and eternity collide
We keep things discreet
Knowing they can't see our hearts skip a beat before their rhythms repeat
We get away from the rest when we take a walk down the street
To this day the beating in our chests speeds up every time we meet
When we're alone our conversations become deep
The secrets you tell me I'll always keep
I find myself sleepless on nights we don't get to speak
You are my weakness yet you never make me feel weak
I wrote you poem for your eyes only 
For you to read on the nights you feel lonely


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Boisterous voices sometimes more than mere annoyances
Poisonous to my perception of what is
Maybe they're a wish I made on a lonely night to a shooting star
More likely they're just a manifestation of a past scar
I've come so far to see their just a part of me
Seemingly manifesting in my external reality
In actuality, they're in my own mind
It's taken me years to finally see it this time
Calm observation is the foundation
The missing equation
Constantly piecing it together like a puzzle
I wish I could strap them with a metaphorical muzzle
Thankfully ever since I let go of the internal struggle
They no longer give me quite as much trouble
Times of heavy stress seems to cause them to manifest
But I've been doing my best to keep my mind and body in a state of rest


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

My mind used to be so messy
And there are times anger still gets the best of me
Underneath it lays a sorrow for the world I see
It's easier to feel the anger than the pain
And I know trying to change the world would be in vain
Maybe there's still a greater plan
Maybe something more than you are and I am
All the same, life is strange
We grow and change through times of sun and times of rain
Whether we become more consciously self-aware or not
Determines how much our past dictates our present and future thought
Everything you need lies within
You're future doesn't have to be where you've been
We can change our own reality
And help create the world we want to see


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Poetical sometimes metaphorical but never hypothetical
To me, this is a form of expression
From my own minds dimension
I've seen my growth and progression
From times of deep depression
To years of anger I'd been suppressing
To thoughts I was obsessing over thanks to my bipolar brain
As I became who I had to become
To make it through the mental and emotional pain that many would succumb
Trudged through the mud and rain, again and again, to find myself in the sun
Fought my way out of hell but I know full well I'm not done
I'm stronger than when I started
And the battle won't end till my soul and this world have parted ways
But the work pays in better days


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Being human can be so confusing
How often do we sit still for a moment and just be
Not thinking about anything just noticing what you can feel, hear, taste, smell, and see
It can be challenging to remember to step out of our heads and into reality
Every day I take time to notice what's going on around me
To feel my whole body from top to bottom and let it ground me
To be aware of the silence behind the sound that surrounds me
Profoundly thankful for the breath that keeps us alive from birth till death


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I try to ignore the signs I see when you're with me
I know it's quite possibly a delusion in my reality
The truth is we never know, but it's hard to let it go
With every breath I take in my lungs
I can't help but wonder if you're the one
As you looked at me with all of your beauty
When I told you why I was afraid of falling in love
I felt loved and not judged
But I still can't help but wonder what thoughts you were thinking of


----------



## mt moyt (Jul 29, 2015)

Im starting to get bored of drawing after a month or so. Ill try to keep on practicing so i can get to the fun part when i am somewhat proficient. Im just drawing using pictures on the internet as a reference at the moment. It takes a lot of patience, which isnt really my strong point. Karl Kopinski is amazing, his reels on instagram make it look so easy.


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Took a minute to reorganize my signal chain with my mixer fully powering on again…unfortunately the main & control outputs are still in need of repair but at least I can use the bluetooth, recording inputs, FX, monitor & headphone outputs & the Windows 11 updated Asio driver means can also use my other audio interface simultaneously


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Something I can't see
With you, I feel free
Your voice, my mind you're enchanting
Your eyes, I feel my heart expanding
A deeper understanding
Love that's not demanding
A friendship to brace each others landing
You can always lean on me
I'll always be there when you need
I trust you like the air I breath
More than anyone ever before
The trust you showed in me that day
Paved the way


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I face the day
Closing my eyes just to see your face fade away
There's just no way to make it stay
There was a time I wanted no attachments
I fell for you by what seemed like an accident
Now, the thought of life without you? I ain't having it
10 years from now I'll look back and wonder how
I was ever lucky enough to call you my gal
In a world where every cowardly mind wants power
Your love washes away the pain like a rain shower
Counting down the day hour by hour
Till the suns morning glow when I can see you tomorrow


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

This life is temporary
Love means more to me than a garage full of Bentleys
I'd live in a cardboard box if it meant your love was never lost
It's so cold outside my breath looks like frost
I hold on to the warmth of your memory at all costs
But I wonder what am I holding on to?
It's you I love not the thought of you
You shine a light of hope I've never before seen
Like a King and Queen
This love runs deeper than just a rush of dopamine


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Caught at a dead stop by writer's block
So I'll just write down every thought
Drifting through the space in my mind like an astronaut
Sifting through this place in time, so priceless it can never be bought
No need to speak in the past tense when presence is our essence
A luminescence of hope looking towards the future
Life is hard but things tend to go smoother
When I stop opening wounds of the past like a broken suture


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Know Thyself

Fake it till you make it is the motto of the faithless
I can see the true faces of the faceless in a world full of fake ****
As they try and create an identity from who they pretend to be
A fallacy created by the cowardly powers that be
In the hopes we never see our authentic individuality
Cause' if we knew the truth it would set us free
They say knowledge is power but the only knowledge that matters
Is the knowledge you gather from within rather than from outside factors


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Experiencing this state of bliss
An open awareness
Like going from a closed fist
To an open palm
A blissful state of calm
Like I'd been dropped on
By a love bomb
I can't explain it
It's too uncomplicated
So simple
Beyond description with intellectual symbols
No words
Like when you're caught up in the beauty of a flock of birds
Timeless
Where no body or mind is
Boundless
Into the soundless
Unobservable by any scientist
An energy that's tireless
An emptiness that's far from nothingness
I've never felt whole like this
Nothing to worship
So hard to put words with
Unchangeable
Unexplainable


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

.


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## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

When one masters their mind it simply means they're no longer blind to thoughts that bind
Caught up in the thoughts predicting the worst seems to be humanities curse
One is always a student of life, step out of the dark and into the light...
There's a difference between thinking you're perfect and knowing you're worth it


----------



## PinkPikachu (Dec 29, 2021)

I haven't drawn in awhile but I was just thinking today about drawing for fun with my daughter. I was also thinking about a special book I want to write.


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

What pervades this strangeness?
It's outrageous having to brave this on a daily basis
She's like my oasis
She's the reason I'm still livin'
When I'm feeling imprisoned 
Looking at the world through tunnel vision
She's like a magician with all the love she's givin'


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I think I figured out why this audio interface has some digital distortion on output, it seems to stop when my laptop is running on battery not plug in, could be too much juice going both ways & power is always an issue in audio, shielding or protectors for ground interference for example when power & audio cables run alongside each other…it’s that plus a shoddy patch cord


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I need a compression pedal, an EQ pedal, a noise gate pedal, & a tuning pedal…everything else I can run out of an amp/head & the accompanying footswitch


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

So it begins…I have to come to terms with video lessons/teaching…I don’t like it, adds the element of tech issues(amongst other things), but also, it is literally the worst way for a newbie to get started given the physical aspects of playing any intstrument, physically showing some how to do something, especially if they’ve never really done it is always the best way. I’ve always thought that once you’ve got going online/video lessons are fine, I learn that way too now, but at the beginning, you really want to be in the room with the person teaching you an instrument


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

You lift me from these shattered floors I've been on
I want to rest my head next to yours till dawn
My heart has been behind closed doors for too long
Today you and I opened them just a bit together
Sever this pain and make it lesser
I wasn't sure if you'd ever change your mind
I held my breath till there was nothing left
But I can see it your eyes this time
I know that you're guarded
You've been left broken hearted
And you may not think you're ready
I was already falling before it started
So I'll hold steady
If you want to wait then I'll wait too
Cause' I've never felt this way about anybody but you
I still think that together we could fly
And I know I can be a lot but I try
You know my story
Where love was designed in my brains laboratory
Has the curse been lifted
Cause' you were clearly heaven gifted


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Late at night and I'm tangled in these thoughts of you
When the stars shine bright all I see is you in my minds view
When were together and I see your smile
There's no doubt in my mind you feel it too
But when we're apart after a while
I start to doubt these feelings in my heart
As my thoughts start to tell me lies
I begin to wonder am I the only one who's catching butterflies
In a million days and in a million ways I know this to be true
This love is more than just a phase
Tell me what to do cause' I feel lost in a maze running in circles to you
I tell myself to walk away cause' this pain in my chest is on replay while I wait
But I can't help but stay as I try to convey how my feelings for you run in a eternal figure eight


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Sometimes you confuse me
But you could never lose me
I'll stand by you till the very end
Even if you just want to be friends
But I won't pretend like I don't want more
For you that'll always be an open door


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

My whole life I've been good at disappearing
But I've never feared anything
Like I fear losing you
I know it's just the attention you attract
And that you don't really flirt back
But do you even have a clue
How when these guys flirt with you
It tears me in two
I act bravely, pretend it doesn't phase me
Yet, no matter how much I try to convince myself I don't care
It's just too much for me to bare
So I walk away so that I can catch some air
You say you can tell something's up and that you're worried about me
This situation feels f****d because I feel I can't tell you how I feel truly
I'm not sure who's fault this is if it's even anybody's at all
I should have put my feelings on halt but they would have only stalled
I've always been good at walking away
But every time I see you I just want to stay
You clearly mean more to me than anybody before
Or I would have already stepped out the door
Inside I've been putting up a fight for you, waging a war
But lately I've been losing sight, it's true, unsure what it's for anymore


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

It feels like December in my chest
Where everything I remember that's now gone goes to rest
It hurts but that's okay because I'm used to it
Curse the above verse for the truth in it
I've been trying to figure out how to set these feelings free
Cause' this love I feel for you is slowly killing me
I don't think my feelings are a secret
But did you know it's been breaking me into pieces
I've been hurting myself to keep you close
But I'm starting to see it's my love that I'm needing the most


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Trying times
Dividing lines
Blurred sight
When trying to figure out what's right
What's left if I give up the fight?
My stomach is in knots and my chest is tight
How can I sleep with these thoughts for another night?
I know eventually, things will work out
But how and when I can't figure out
I just have to keep pushing through all of this doubt
I'm still learning to love myself
Knowing the strongest souls are the ones that have truly felt


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Feeling lost in a world where someone's worth is determined by their Bentli
I find myself feeling so empty as I fall on a bent knee
Tears falling gently as my chest is heavy cause' I can't breathe...


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Taking a walk in the cool evening breeze
Looking up at the stars that keep me company
Sometimes they feel so close
Other times they feel so far
Like the distance of hope and that of past scars

I wish I trusted more and grew up less
All these emotions in my heart that I can't express
And lately, I've been feeling depressed
But I'll leave it up to you to figure out the rest

Then again I guess that's why I'm in this mess in the first place
In my mind all I can see is their hurt face as I push away those I love
It's like I don't trust those that I hold close and trust the most
And that makes no sense but somehow writing it does

There are pieces of me that are broken
Stuff in my heart and head that I'm not showing
As I try to keep all this hidden within
And even in these writings
You only see a sliver of him and what he's fighting

As my chest begins to tighten and I can't breathe
It's not the future that scares me
It's the memories that slowly become faded
Or the ones I can't recall because they were never created

I must have meditated on over a hundred million breathes
But I still sometimes find myself waking up in cold sweats
To the list of regrets of things that I've missed

And honestly, I don't know why I feel like I have to hide this
Feeling so empty as I fall to the floor on a bent knee
While tears pour gently from my eyelids

Or maybe it's just that I don't like pretending
That I'm not aware of it all ending

Cause' lately, when I say I'm fine it just means I'm hurting inside
While spending too much time thinking about the other side

And I've been feeling broken
Like I've forgotten how to open
Like no one's ever heard a word I've ever spoken
And this writing is the only way I'm coping

While on a different level, I'm hoping some higher power might be inclined
To send me a sign to follow
Cause' inside I'm feeling kinda hollow
And it's getting harder to see tomorrow through all of this sorrow


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

This may only last for the rest of today but I finally feel okay
Love can already be a rollercoaster
I'm finally starting to understand how it's like going mach speed in a jet when you're bipolar
The overdose of dopamine bring my mania to the scene
It's like living in a dream but then comes the other extreme
As the depression begins to scheme
My thoughts like intense notions
Following my emotions like underwater explosions
It took years to learn this lesson
But now all the pain is starting to look like a blessing


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

It's been a while since I've been around
I'm finding myself missing you right now
Reminiscing about times we spent
Maybe this distance between us was imminent
At least when we're together I'm no longer distant
I'm open, it's the real me I'm showing
Flying over the ocean next to the sun that's golden
Pouring my heart out in this poem
Still, I have no idea where I'm goin'
I guess if I did I'd be all-knowing
Even with this space between
I just hope you stay close to me
Cause' knowing you're near I don't feel alone at sea


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Life isn't easy and death isn't simple
This love is more than an impulse
I grew in growing tired of waiting
Don't be mistaken
There's fear in my heart that I've been escaping
Here without you, my soul is aching but I'm not breaking
It's only been a week and your face in my mind is slowly fading
Closing the door
It's time I stopped fighting this war
You may be missing me but I think I'm missing you more
So many tears over you I've cried
But you can't blame me cause' If you knew angels fly you would never be afraid to die ♥


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Spent so long becoming stoic
But she lights up my heart like a glowstick and she knows it
Maybe it's the way she drives me crazy
But nobody can phase me like she does
I guess that's just the price of this love


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Her hair, flowing and long
Her laughter, a beautiful song
Her eyes, heavenly drawn
My arms, where she belongs
My heart, for her, beats strong
My mind, thoughts of her till dawn
How the **** am I supposed to move on?!


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I should probably take my own advice
Be where you are
But I guess that's life 
When you're feeling scarred
My mind is a mess when you're far
Anywhere but present and you're always the star
My heart goes against my every instinct
If I told you I love you what would you think?
How can I heal when I see you in every blink?


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I'm in an endless fall
I see the senselessness of it all
A breathless call
I try to text but no words to recall
I'm still alone in this world
My heart's just on loan to this girl
All that's left is a wish
There's no hope left in this
I can't just erase her from my brain
Walk away or stay there's no way to escape this pain


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Fear to love to love to fear
Questioning why I'm even here
I just want to disappear from this sphere
The pain amasses as each day passes
Feeling different from the masses
Only one word on a list of reasons to exist
I'm losing the vision to persist
I've just about had it with this


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

If God is my builder
Why'd he make love so unfamiliar?
It's like going for the gold but only ever getting silver
I felt dead till her
Still, we're friends
But I won't pretend my heart doesn't extend beyond that
I've been praying, so where's God at?
If I walk away I can't turn back
My heart and mind are in combat
The thought of never seeing her again gives my heart an attack


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I tried but failed
Inhale but my chest feels impaled
In hell as I exhale air that's stale
My heart feels in jail
As I conceal what I truly feel
This situation isn't ideal but it's real
Life isn't always fair but it's part of the deal


----------



## system (Apr 3, 2021)

Starcut83 said:


> I tried but failed
> Inhale but my chest feels impaled
> In hell as I exhale air that's stale
> My heart feels in jail
> ...


real nice!...and your other verses are good too...maybe we should do a collab


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Hey man, thanks! I'm so used to working alone a collab might be interesting haha


----------



## system (Apr 3, 2021)

Starcut83 said:


> Hey man, thanks! I'm so used to working alone a collab might be interesting haha


yeah then pm me if youd like to write something!


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## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Waking to the memory of you in my dreams
I'm addicted to you like nicotine
Your love's all that remains in my veins
It's too late for a vaccine
You've infected my brain with dopamine
High off your touch
If love's a drug I think I took too much
Don't know why I love you, I just do
When it's just us two
I feel my dreams come true
Remember all our walks in the afternoon light?
Remember our talks in the moonlight?
But love's not true, right?


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Here's some advice
Speak to me nice
And I won't respond with veins full of ice
You tested me twice
Third time and you're testing your life
I don't quit
You're not even in my orbit
Just forfeit
You block the door
Think you've got me questioning what for?
Your childish games make me snore
You can't phase my zen
I take my anger and put it to pen
There's a reason I developed talent when...
You're probably still in your head counting to 10


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

The nature of this anger
You only see what's on the surface like a glacier
But beneath it's greater than a rancor
A beast made of razors
Cuts me deeper than asteroid craters
I'm a lover not a hater
But still I'm multilayered
She's like my anchor and for that I thank her
Her names inked in my heart like pen on paper
Breathe her in like vapor
As I'm asking my creator
If it wasn't meant to be then what's fate for?
Is it just folk lore?
Cause' I swear we're the perfect couple like six minus four


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Smilies plastered on my face hiding my anxiety like a hidden ace of spades
Her love invades my heart in waves like a dungeon raid
No way to evade the explosions in my chest like grenades
I'm gonna need armor upgrades to make it through this next phase
Clashing of blades till the smoke fades
Brace my landing as she's left standing
She's got the light of a sorceress and my heart she's enchanting
No use to fight or suppress my heart expanding


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Multidimensional
She brings out the side of me that's sensual
She lifts me out of this dimension of hell
Her love rebels into every single one of my cells
Her laugh is like a spell that makes my heart swell
It's getting harder to take the pain of our farewells
She's like a muscle in my mind growing stronger lifting dumbbells
The thought of losing her feels like I'm looking down a gun barrel


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Five minus four
Plus two more
Triple one
I've been chasing signs in my mind
But it's burning me like Icarus and the sun
No way to outrun what's already been done
I refuse to believe my destiny is already spun
But I'm not forever young
If I keep chasing illusions I'll be left with none
As I write a ton and introspect into my mind like Jung
I start to understand there's only one battle to be won


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Do you love her? Yes sir
Like no other? There's no measure
Impressed her with a letter I wrote addressed to her
That she keeps in the top drawer of her dresser
Treat her like the rarest treasure
Her touch, gentle like that of a feather
Connected together heart to heart by an invisible tether
When I look into her eyes I can see forever
No way to sever the bond reaching beyond the Ether
I don't believe in God but I believe in her


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I was subject to change
Only the same in name
No way to reclaim my old self
Looking into her eyes is like looking at my soul itself
One soul in two bodies like a divided cell
My hearts like a closed shell
As she mirrors my hot and cold spells


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

The path is winding as I'm finding my way back to lonely
I feel like she's the only one that truly knows me
People mostly leave me feeling ghostly
What's the secret here, I don't get it
I don't fit in, am I living or just dying slowly
Hard truth is hard to swallow
Feel like buying a bottle to drown my sorrow
My life's just on borrow
At this rate I'll be gone by tomorrow


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Feeling lost in between
Where's my soul? I don't know
Even with kerosene, this hell is so cold
Prescription pills like a bandage to cover the damage
An empty space in me the size of a planet
A lonely place that nobody inhabits
Temperatures so cold you'd freeze in a jacket
This brain full of bad habits in my skull
Feeling tearful from this hole in my soul
Tears fall making oceans full
Without her, I don't feel whole
Thoughts obsessed as I'm feeling enmeshed
I suppress this pain in my chest
Cause' I can't express how I truly feel to the one who's responsible for my heart's theft
Out of fear of losing her cause' it feels like I'd have nothing left
I guess that's what happens when you're sent the message as a kid that love is death


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I've only been to hell and back a couple hundred times
When reading my rhymes you need to read between the lines
She's the centerpiece of the shrine in my mind
I see her behind my eyelids, she's priceless
I know what a spine is, I just don't know where mine is
I'm not saying I'm spineless, but how can I get behind this?
Behind myself, beside myself, I need help
The past few weeks there's been more pain than I've ever felt
I fell into you, I'm split in two
My heart is a store and she's shoplifting
Who am I kidding, if she left it would only take 10 minutes for me to say **** living
One more day till I see my shrink, one more second till I see you when my eyes blink


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I've been feeling down and out
As these demons scream and shout
Writing is the only way to drown them out
Do this for as long as it takes even if it takes all night
Feels like there's a knife in my chest but I'm alright


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Another weekend alone again
I'm lost within
These voices need to stop 
I've been without oxygen 
As my chest tightens
Finding it hard to breathe in
As the light dims
My eyes skim my surroundings
The silence is sounding
In my head the crowd sings
Saying foul things
I can't fly with bound wings
In my chest my heart is pounding
I try counting sheep
But I'm in too deep to go to sleep


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I've been searching for a remedy
To the bad energy of these sad memories
To put my mind at ease
Down on my knees
Can I just let go of this pain, please?
So cold in my mind from the loneliness this time
You'd freeze at this degrees, below -9 Celsius
It's been a while since I felt like this


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I love her
So I'll continue to suffer undercover
I know that eventually, I'll recover
Until then I'll cover it with a fake smile
In the same style, it's been for a while
My heart's aching as I'm waiting for this pain to fade to a faint sting 
Thoughts of dead kings without their queens
Play on my heartstrings
Waiting for the day when my heart sings
I'll grow wings like Spring brings new things


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I can't sleep
Heartbeat in my chest feels weak
No one to speak with
Except for the voice in my head telling me "You're unique, kid."
If only my dreams did...the same
I'm growing tired of this nightmarish game
It's 1:30 in the A.M. 
I'm up thinking how they claim she's my "Twin Flame"
One soul in two frames
Two brains that think different
Maybe through all this pain, love is imminent
Anything is possible, if there's a shot, I'm not missing it
I swear sometimes hope is like a friendly enemy
How can I move on as long as there's hope in me?
I can't keep doing this dance
Either crush my soul or show me there's a chance


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I am a Gemini
Waking up and getting by
In love, on a mental high
I Memorized
Her heavenly eyes
I hope I still get to see them at seventy-five
They'd still be a light that shines
In this world of mine
It's perfectly timed
The heavens don't lie
As the stars are aligned✨


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

In writing, there's a peace that I obtain
It helps to cease the demons chatter in my brain
It's like pumping sanity into my veins
My heart's bleeding leaving bloodstains
As my pain falls like rain, enough to flood plains
In my mind, lights raise, light rays shine on bright days
I just hope this isn't a phase and the sun stays


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

It's barely the start of the day
But the sun in my mind's already started to slip away
Like bullets from a gun, the voices in my head start to ricochet
It's already almost May reminding me how I slowly decay 
As time ticks away to another birthday
I wouldn't mind if the earth shakes and opens a hole in the ground
Swallows me whole and sends me hell bound
My scent's already tracked by a hell hound
STOP
I've GOT to turn this around
Adversity abound
Moments like this are when Kings and Queens are crowned
Send the hell hound back to the pound
I know how to swim so why let myself drown


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

My bipolar brain's chemically uneven
As it changes seasons
Dopamine depletion as the sorrow deepens
Then without reason, I'm as high as the sun
Take me back to days when I was young
I'm on the run towards days that haven't begun
Anywhere but here 
I'm aware that's the problem right there
I've lost my presence
Been living in future and past tense
Sometimes this writing can be enlightening


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Back to my old self
Fought my way out of a cold hell
I'm like a whole-cell adapting to a cold spell
I excel where others fell
Wisdom and Confidence like no other are where my thoughts now dwell
Listen to your common sense and find cover cause I'm about to drop a bombshell...
I'm no stranger to anger
I don't need Spidey senses cause I am the danger
You don't like me? I'll address this with my middle finger
You're like a honey bee, attack once but you dead without a stinger
Go one round with me and you'll be put through the wringer
I'm eternal, I've always been here
Like an infernal, I bring fear
Better bring your thermal cause I freeze the air
You jump hurdles, I make em' disappear
My verbal they revere
I'm the king of this sphere
Born to ruin your career
Let me be clear, this is my frontier
I'm a boss, you just a volunteer
Most rappers today make me wish I born without ears


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Time to take a bow and put the anger down
Spread some love around
Sounds profound
Find some common ground
We're all humans beings now
For her, I would take a vow
You would do the same
For the one who captures your heart and brain
Even if there are times they drive your mind insane
And it's a crying shame we all have to die someday
But we're all alive now under the sun's rays
Tonight I'll play verbal games
As I inhale the purple haze
And feel the internal waves
I speak in nonverbal ways
In the hopes of attracting her gaze
Cause I know this love is more than a phase


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I emit waves with every lit phrase
As my eyes age, I start to see through my soul's gaze
Like a divine sage, each diary page is written in cryptic ways
I already went through my sadistic phase, like a misfit full of rage
My heart once caged as I wrote under a dead tree
Now I give praise as it's set free
Really, I'm fine, it's about time
So let me be as I rest on cloud nine with a sound mind
As I breathe in a green dime and let out a nice rhyme
You can't buy time so I bide mine
I'm in my right mind as the moonlight shines
I write lines with few guidlines
Like the universe speaks in divine signs
Don't ask me why, if I said I knew I'd be lying
One day I'll die but for now, I live with the heart of a lion


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Like a knight in armor
I write from morning till night on Earth
I face my demons with calm nerves
Graduate from this game with honors
Killing the machine like Sarah Connor
In this Matrix I'm a fiend when I play on words
I don't need Lasix to see we're ruled by the dollar...


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I can’t believe the difference that makes to the hi-hat setup, nice sizzle now every time


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

A rebel with a cause
I fend off attacks with steel jaws
I hear my inner critic's applause
A brief pause before I...
Break the laws of verbal cause and effect
As I find endless ways for words to connect
What did you expect?
I'm so sick I need to get my head checked
Show some respect
As I reflect I deflect direct attacks back to the neck
That's correct
I wreck their faces in
I'm sick of this racism
You think you own music?
Well that's ****ing amusin'
I hope you like losing
Let's clear up the confusion
This right here is human evolution
The only race there is...is human
If you can't see beyond skin color then...
You just a loose end


----------



## system (Apr 3, 2021)

this cypher where gems go
the next flow slice necks your head roll
i let the pen flow
since 2pac was on Death Row
my style is ancient times
old school like eighties vibes
my style the future...
like tomorrow's sun
im the grey days when sorrow come
yall could never be this raw
im pure like the vision Jesus saw


----------



## system (Apr 3, 2021)

this a short verse only eight lines
compared to me yall got ape minds
fam already spoke on 8 mile
so i aint with no one with fake smiles
when i leave this dimension...
the earth gone
i sung the first song
i yearn for dopeness the thirst strong


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

^0..0^


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

A sudden rise like a sunrise of troubled subtle vibes
Like sly spies behind disguised eyes that try and hide the pain of a thousand lives
A thousand tries with the pain of a thousand knives
Vows and lies as flowers die
Clear insight as I peer inside
Fear's in sight as I hold tight
Afraid of losing what I hold dearest
I keep it nearest till the day my body turns to mere dust
I start to understand how I fear trust as I begin to tear up
I do my best to cheer up but the pain inside my chest won't clear up
Like a shy bird forgetting his wings, I hurt from thoughts of upsetting things
Echoing screams like ghostly beings from harrowing scenes in broken dreams
Still images in time like frozen streams in my mind behind open seams
Nothing's ever quite what it seems
We're the director and our mind is a projector while the world is a screen
We exist somewhere in between the past that's gone and the future that's unforeseen


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Creative expression...not entirely fact




I took a night walk on the sidewalk
Bodies outlined in white chalk
I stalk my thoughts as I look into my third eye
From a birds eye view like a hawk
High atop the clouds
I adapt to crowds
Wrapped in the Tao
As my mind stays in an esoteric flow
Like a u.f.o.
Unidentifiable
Indefinable
One and the same
Like two in one frame
You can't tame this flame
Without getting maimed
Stay humble or your head will get inflamed
You'll crumble spilling red from your veins
Leaving bloodstains that flood plains
Welcome to my domain
I remain sane as I rest my brain
Dreaming in the Astral plane
They mark us like a cattle brand
But I'm a master and...
Like, mind over matter can...
I change their master plan
Cause it's disastrous when...
There are self-masterless men
Trying to be the master of men
But I won't pretend it'll ever end
Till the end of mankind
Cause man tends to be blind
When they've got power on their mind
So let the light shine and bring in the divine
It's about time we leave these cowardly minds behind


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Taunt the bull you get the horns
Undauntable as I shift forms
I rip the door off strict norms
F*** the dude who's painted orange
I cuss, they say it's rude but I'm born out of the eye of a storm
They've been warned, my hearts worn
I'm like Bourne, my identity's torn as I'm left with something foreign
Life must be rough cause they're acting tough
I see through their bluff as their chest they puff
I send them love cause I've had enough
Flatlined, they're out of time
My mind's in search of the perfect rhyme
But something tells me that's hard to find
About as hard as it is to define my mind
Karmically cryptic
Charmingly apocalyptic
I'm like a bomb as I tick tick
An optimistic mystic who's realistic
Skillfully spinning artistic linguistics
Idealistic, hardly simplistic
I could make a whole rhyme about fish sticks
Something about Kanye and fish dicks
As they try to get all analytical on my lyrics
I don't give a **** about parasitic critics
I haven't even reached my full limit
Wrote this in less than 30 minutes
But for now, I'll just say this is finished


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Like a pit bull that's caged
My fist full of rage
Only one war to be waged
So I let it out on every page
Like an enraged sage
My heart's engraved with an eternal figure eight
Don't mistake my anger for hate
I'm just mad at the state of the world
I'm just mad at my fate with this girl
And I could say that everything's fine
But then I'd be lying out of my mind
I'm slowly running out of time
At least the time that I have on Earth
Blessings upon her and it was an honor
But now I'm remembering my worth
From death to birth as I look at my life in reverse
I'm slashing past lies as I observe...
My life's flashing before my eyes as I write every verse
It feels less like a curse and more a reminder that one day I'll find her...
Could be as we pass on the street or at a diner
I'll know her when I find her cause my heart will be on fire
And I'll never have seen anybody finer


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

We're drifting apart and it's breaking my heart
I should have known from the start
We were both "broken" and scarred
Now hope is feeling so far
I'm taking a walk under the moon and the stars
But I feel like I'm the only one that's healing a scar
As I write out this hardship with my pen tip
Our friendship is slowly looking more like the wreckage of a wrecked ship
Wrecked in cold and lonely seas as it unfolds slowly and I'm down on my knees
You'll never see me beg but please don't leave
I tried to pray but I don't feel at ease cause I don't believe
It's true...I'm missing you...and the things we used to do
The time we used to spend just me and you...


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I am eternity in form
The Source that's born
The force of storms
Adverse to the norm
The calm of a psalm
The sound of Om
The Universes .com
The homepage with no age
The space before the stone age
My soul waged war before age four
Battle-hardened before the first garden
Long before the first Spartan
God's pardon
I feel like a martian on this planet
Extending beyond time's gamut
I'm just warming up like a jacket
This is more than a habit
If you looking for war, then you have it
You've been warned I'm resistant to damage
I've let go of most of my baggage
I've got the heart of savage
Your talent is just average
I've got every advantage
You're gonna need to bandage your wounds
My tune consumes your gloom
I was born in June under a full moon
Crazy like afternoon cartoons
Like Dr. Victor Von Doom
This is never gonna end so...I'll see you soon


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

It feels really weird trying to rap after singing.


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

.


----------



## system (Apr 3, 2021)

a Starcut collab!






ill trap your spirit so fall back
all yall lyrics i call whack
its my biddness to store crack
youll get a gram for free
im greatest the land has seen
matrix where my aura golden
yall mc's sorta posing
weapons from hell...
the sword will roast him
they call me SUB-human
battle?...ill bust shooting
me and Starcut 
first born the scene was star dust
the universe was peaceful darkness
basement fulla peoples carcass
im sick the page raw
Starcut rip their veins more
and drop them beats they banging
my enemies from trees they hanging
the word smith
they 5th matrix should emerge Smith
im neo...the one soul
imagery in words...
i done told
so listen to this word play
everytime i write the verse great
so i said fall back when son here
me and Starcut we done here


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

System's brung the fear
Lines spun to a beat inspiring terror
We bring the heat of the sun when we're near
We can't be beaten son, not on this sphere
We run this dimension
We got minds of Zen son
We guide the blind to sight with each rhyme we write
Like day and night
One dark, One light
Balancing the atmosphere when we unite
We run this like a joint, we're lit on point
Disjoint the thoughts in your mind with a blunt line
Crazy rhymes free our minds
Turning words into designs, like mental signs
I question if I'm sane all the time
I don't need to pose, creativity flows through this brain of mine
In the shadows, system is dodging your throws
Your nose be bleeding from his blows
From the light I inspire fright in egos
I've got no foes but if you oppose
You'll be left with your woes
My words cut sharp
Straight to the heart
Then after I'm clear
I disappear
We done here


Hope you like it haha. I'm not in an aggressive mood right now so it's the best I could come up with...like writing aggressively without aggression...

Edit: Made it a little more aggressive and far improved imo.


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Trying to write a rhyme about anything other than the girl on my mind...****


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I'm feeling writer's block setting in, probably cause I'm starting to get a bit tired.


----------



## system (Apr 3, 2021)

Starcut83 said:


> System's brung the fear
> Lines spun to a beat inspiring terror
> We bring the heat of the sun when we're near
> We can't be beaten son, not on this sphere
> ...


DOPE SICK!!!


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Haha thanks man!


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I was beginning to think the “drag” rolls on individual stick hands was just me being sloppy because I haven’t put time into practicing rudiments & double stroke rolls but that lesson vids was eye opening in that, it’s not laziness but rather a technique in it’s own right, one I do fairly well, so I don’t need to scrap it or think of it as sloppy, I just need to practice & refine those other techniques & then learn to combine all of them


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## asittingducky (Apr 23, 2013)

David Lynch being a madman
MAKE SURE TO TUNE INTO THE DAVID LYNCH THEATER YOUTUBE CHANNEL TOMORROW MORNING FOR DAVID LYNCH'S WEATHER REPORT AND THE NUMBER OF THE DAY, FOLKS! HAVE A GREAT DAY!!


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## Doubl3 (2 mo ago)

PhilipJFry said:


> I'd like to sit around and write some music. I can never just write for a couple hours though and I have too much to do today.


I have decided to seek out more educational opportunities & sources to learn emerging and improved techniques, software, production skills, & growing digital trends. I'm finding more useful, detailed information surrounding the many combinations of skill sets I _need_ to improve upon in almost every conceivable aspect of A&V poduction, direction, and creation. Surprisingly, 3 years into my hobby, I have found many more support forums & groups as well as education based programs than I had when I first ventured into the entertainment business. I am also learning how to pace myself properly in my research and implimantations. I must fight to not let myself become lost in the endless avenues & alleyways that line my path. I had let myself become overwhelmed, bogged down by what I could _possibly_ do for the next big step and new opportunity. It resulted in spreading myself too thin across the entertainment landscape. Two years of going balls to the walls & I began to drowned myself. Creative burnout flattened my spirit, my desire to create died, my dream tuned into a nightmare and I was starting to HATE it. I took a year off of writing & producing my podcast, I had *nothing *left to give. 

Now I am taking my first _small_ steps, going slowly while watching my steps. There are lots of _shiney_ new things to _tempt_ me from my path, but I've got the blinders on now & I'm going to do it *properly*. Rome wasn't built in a day, but just like Rome I fell quick & hard my first go round. New techniques to hone, tricks of the trade to be learned, new and improved software to learn, work flows to study & implement for *stability*. This go round I've set the creative compass on its _*true*_ course. I had to fall hard to see what I had to do & the _right_ way to get it done.
Wish me good _fortune_ Compadres!
Eller's _Out..._​


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## asittingducky (Apr 23, 2013)

I can admit to when I need help from my peoples...


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

Y’all. I did the mistake of drawing my best friend once, but she keeps wanting to change it.
Every once in a while (particularly when she had done speed for a week straight, which makes her impossible to reason with) she wants me to draw her skinnier, and more muscular, and to add details and change this a little and then that.. Just say no when people ask.. ffs


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