# Not being able to remember faces and names?



## Fuzzy Logic (Sep 16, 2009)

All my life this has been a magor problem for me. I can't remeber who people are or what they look like. For example, I will go to a tutorial group at university one week, get introduced to everyone, but by the time I get back next week I have completely forgotten what everyone looks like or what their names are. Does anyone else have this problem?

It gets embarassing because by the end of the semester or such someone will sometimes tell you do something with so and so and I will have no idea who they are.


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## shy67 (May 2, 2008)

This is also a problem for me. I don't remember people's names unless I talk to them often. I meet people at orientations or in class and the next time I see them, I can't remember their name. This gets embarassing when they remember me and my name and I don't remember them.


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## Fuzzy Logic (Sep 16, 2009)

Yeah, I wonder if it might be worth learning some memory excercises that might improve this, like saying the name over again and again in your head and then trying to picture them without looking at them while you think it over.

My memory is rubbish in general though. I couldn't survive or get anything done without my notebook and 'things to do' lists. I can't even remember phone numbers (thank goodness for mobile phones storing contact details). Revision is a total nightmare, it's a miracle I do as well as I do at uni. I had to drop out of GCSE history back in school because I was so hopeless at remorising dates and time lines.


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## shy67 (May 2, 2008)

Yeah, I make "to do" lists all the time too. If I don't write something down, I will forget it. However, I seem to have some good memory because I do really well on tests and exams. But then I forget the stuff from the exam.


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## Anna (Sep 24, 2009)

this is a HUGE problem for me.

i can meet someone and they'll tell me their name and i forget before they even walk away. it's like i can't focus anymore. i swear i'm listening when people talk, why can't i hold on to any information? faces are even more shocking for me to forget. like this weekend, i was in the audience watching a guy. later the person i'm with says to me "hey that's that guy" when he's stading near us and i'm like "what? who?"... it's ****ing ridiculous. i watched this dude for like 30 minutes. his clothing didn't register to me either... _nothing_. how does this happen?

i was trying to write a post about this but i couldn't even structure sentences or pick a forum to post it in. i really don't use the word lightly, but it's like i'm mentally _retarded_ after so many years of sa and depression. i never really took medication, and certainly not long term so that isn't the cause. this has had devastating effects on school and work. been fired for not remembering the simplest of things over a long period of time. i didn't start life being this slow. i really believe all my anxieties and depression fried my brain. i don't know what to do to fix it.

this is my biggest frustration now. i have job interviews coming up and i can't even make myself nervous about getting it. i wouldn't hire me, so i go in almost apologizing for wasting their time. i'm not anxious so much now, just dumb as a damn rock.

*edit: in "frustraions" i posted about how stupid the workers in my town are but i'm not from this town so it's not the same thing.


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## sansd (Mar 22, 2006)

When I don't remember names, it's because I wasn't paying attention in the first place. I'm usually too nervous to remember that I should actually listen to someone's name in case I need to know it later.

I'm not very good with faces of people I don't already know, but I've been getting better. I think this is also a matter of just needing to pay attention for me. I'm too busy thinking and worrying to really look at people.


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## MCSS (Sep 28, 2009)

Yup, I also have the same problem, I mean they tell me their name but I dont know, I gues I just dont care or, it just goes in one ear and out the other. So, everytime I'm at work I'm like "yeah that one dude, you know..I dont know his name..hes bald..yeah.." lol.. it gets pretty bad for me..


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## Fuzzy Logic (Sep 16, 2009)

Probably one of the most embarassing ones is when I had to fill out a tutor evaluation form for a seminar group and couldn't remember the name of my tutor. She had taught us for twelve weeks... Fortunately I was able to get around this by asking how she "spelt it".


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## Banzai (Jun 4, 2009)

Fuzzy Logic said:


> because I was so hopeless at remorising dates and time lines.


Ditto this - I dropped politics A levels partly because of this. :roll


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

A tip for remembering people's names - when you hear it, say it.


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## thinktieng (Jul 20, 2010)

i also have the same problem, its so difficult to remember faces n names, btw, saying their name again n again after they tell me, its not working for me, i think i need focus, but my mind kinda automatically drifted away when ppl says their name. i try to remember their name, buy using abc to search the name out, such as, if the person name start with A...or B.. until the end Z, most of the time, i cant get it out :b

sometime when i watch the police drama where u get to point out which person is the killer, i would imagine myself saying to the policeman "im so sorry, i cant remember" n the killer would live happily ever after. but what i do in real life is when ppl talks to me, i try to memories their faces, look at them more often if i can n the face turn out to be a "familiar face" but i still dont knw whose face it belong too, i even draw their face in my book to help to memorize them, but i wont work on me  but i do smiles to everyone out there, in case they know me, but dont know that i dont know them


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

Actually I'm extremely good at remembering faces, ive recognized people who i only met once years ago.........but when it comes to remembering names im absolutely horrible........i constantly forget peoples names and call them something different.....just yesterday my friend who ive known for a few years said hi to me yesterday and i totally forgot his name....


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

I usually have to meet the person at least 3x before it sinks in. The further apart the meetings, naturally, the less retention. And if I see them out of context, say, meeting a coworker at the mall, it sometimes takes a few seconds to register who they are.


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## tigerlilly (Mar 30, 2009)

oddly enough, i can RECOGNIZE names and faces really easily. like i always know if someone looks familiar or i've heard their name before, even if i can't place it, but i have a hard time remembering names off the top of my head or describing/picturing a person's face when i'm not looking at them. i think the face issue is called "face blindness" and is surprisingly common.


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## Meli24R (Dec 9, 2008)

I'm really good with remembering faces, but I'm terrible with names. I was looking through my high school year book with a friend not long ago. She was holding the book and asking me if I remembered all these people and I hardly remembered anyone until I looked at their pictures.


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## kleewyck (Aug 13, 2010)

There is a condition called prosopagnosia that is literally face blindness.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosopagnosia

It has been suggested by a family member that I have a very mild form. Though, I doubt this is the case. Sometimes, more often than is typical (so I am told) I won't remember meeting people at all, what they look like and/or the situation in which we met. It is more often that everyone looks vaguely familiar and I will mistake them for other people.


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## littlemisshy (Aug 10, 2010)

I have also heard of 'Prosopagnosia' some people who have it forget even what their family looks like. How terrifying

But, I actually remember faces and promptly forget their names as soon as they tell me as I get so caught up with the sa and nothing can get into my head:blank

I have heard too that its best to repeat the person's name back to them to remember it. ie: "Pete, what do you think of such and such"


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## kleewyck (Aug 13, 2010)

littlemisshy said:


> I have also heard of 'Prosopagnosia' some people who have it forget even what their family looks like. How terrifying


Donna Williams tells a story where sometimes she doesn't recognize her husband. It is like a stranger has walked into her home. Oddly she says she can always make a positive ID by how he smells rather than how he looks!



littlemisshy said:


> I have heard too that its best to repeat the person's name back to them to remember it. ie: "Pete, what do you think of such and such"


Repeating a name back is useful if there is a formal introduction but sometimes people aren't introduced and ones name is only learned in passing. I understand how it could work to reinforce association but unfortunately haven't had much success with this method.

Making a mental catalog of features and associating the features with the persons name is a technique that can sometimes work. A lot of the time people wear certain clothes or shoes on a regular basis or have long brown hair that is often tied back, etc... It works for a while until, heaven forbid, someone changes their hairstyle! :roll

Usually when I don't recognize someone I feel that they are familiar just can't place them. It's that frustrating feeling of presque vu. The harder one tries the further away it slips.



littlemisshy said:


> But, I actually remember faces and promptly forget their names as soon as they tell me as I get so caught up with the sa and nothing can get into my head:blank


It's the whole feeling someone is familiar when they aren't that is unsettling and dangerous. :um


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## alphatoomega (Aug 14, 2010)

I do this too. Its really awkward when you've actually clicked with a person but completely misplaced the name. Maybe I'm just shallow, lol 

The only thing that I've found helps is putting the name in my cellphone along with their number or a note about how I met them etc.

I've tried doing the association game with their face or things that are important about them but I often just forget the association. Then again, I used to be stoned 24/7, so that might have something to do with it...


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## FakeFur (Nov 4, 2009)

Yes! Sometimes I really struggle with this. Not with names, but often with faces. If I have a conversation with someone I just met, unless their look stands out to me in some way, I won't remember what they look like. It'll just be a blur to me. Then I get scared that if I see them again, I won't recognize them, or I'll think that someone else is them even though they're not. Usually I have to see them a few more times for me to completely have no problem recognizing them.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

I can remember that he or she is someone I've seen before. Names are much harder. I'm not sure if my ability to put a name to a face is really any better or worse than average though.


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## gonewiththewind (Aug 18, 2010)

Again, this is also a huge problem for me. I remember a few distinct faces, but most people look alike to me. I also find it hard to recognize people outside the context that I normally see them in. If I normally see X in formal wear at work, for example, I would NOT recognize him dressed in a Hawaiian shirt in a grocery store.


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## KirLog (Oct 3, 2010)

kleewyck said:


> There is a condition called prosopagnosia that is literally face blindness.
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosopagnosia


Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! And many thanks to the person that initiated this thread.

I use to just kinda fear that I was self-centered. I also never made the connection between this an social-anxiety, which although it isn't much of a problem for me these days, it would still be crippling if not for the techniques I've picked up over the years.

I've also had a horrible time remembering names, but it seems memorization of words is much easier for me than faces. If I can tie the name to a characteristic I can remember it[and as a few others here have said, saying it helps] but I simply can't remember, or even visualize faces. I can draw a room I've been in from memory, but I can't even picture my best friend's face. Not even my own mother's! Really, that always just made me wonder if I was some horrible, selfish person.

Like others have said, there are techniques to compensate for this. Personally, I usually remember people by their hair style. Also I've always been drawn to people who dress alternatively. I like to chalk that up my great taste in style> But let's be honest, it makes people a lot easier to tell apart when you can't rely on racial recognition.


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## offroad (Sep 9, 2010)

Kind of wonder of some Face Blindness goes with Anxiety. Betting it does now.


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## Bloodie Indy (Jan 17, 2012)

I have this problem as well. I work in sales and this gives me a lot of problems and the only thing that saves me is that I'm good at faking. I have to see a person at least 4 to 5 different times before I'm able to recognize them. Names aren't so bad for me as long as I see the name written down first. I am also horrible with directions. I have to use the GPS on my phone to get places even after I've been there several times. My memory on most things is usually pretty good.


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## madelinechism (Feb 13, 2012)

Only lately have ive been plagued with this forgetfullness...Im a waitress so this little nasty memory loss things is a diaster!!!!!!


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## surrlste (Dec 23, 2012)

I also suffer from not being able to remember faces (forgetting names is one thing, but forgetting faces is much more awkward). I think part of the problem is either not looking at people's faces, or being anxious while looking at them, so you don't really see them properly.

I've found it helpful to practise names/faces on a website that quizzes you on them: http://www.knowthatface.com

The main thing, for me, is that practising like this (you could probably just practise looking at people on the street as well), encourages me to actually be curious about people's faces and to notice them and study them (hopefully not in a creepy way!), which makes me naturally remember them. Well, sometimes anyway!


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## Kon (Oct 21, 2010)

This is one of the things that gives me major anxiety at work. I can't remember people's names, histories or any personel information they tell even if I see them for years. It's not just anxiety. It seems that I'm not interested in most people (probably due to being very introverted?) and I just can't store the information into long-term memory as other people do.


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## thungerf (Nov 18, 2012)

*Names and details*

My psychologist said that people with high anxiety do not remember details because they are constantly in "fight to flight". My anxiety is huge and self-esteem is even worse!


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## viryan23 (Dec 13, 2012)

In my case, I can remember their faces but I cannot remember some of their names unless if I always have conversation with them or always encounter them, but meeting them once or twice in some casual events, I cannot barely remember their names after. It has been said that *Prosopagnosia * is the disorder for of face perception where the ability to recognize faces is impaired, while the ability to recognize other objects may be relatively intact. While *Anomic aphasia*, also known as dysnomia, nominal aphasia, and amnesic aphasia; is a severe problem with recalling words or names. Under *Prosopagnosia * and *Anomic aphasia* are their different types.


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## CoastalSprite (Sep 8, 2011)

I have this problem too... I know that in my memory, their names are there, but often my mind would draw an absolute blank even if it's someone I see fairly regularly. It's happened a few times where I say something like, "Oh I gave it to.. uhm.. (panicking a little).. _Anyways_.. (change topic)."

One girl I worked with told me her name probably three freaking times over the course of the summer. And right now I can't remember what it is! Good god. **** me.

For faces I can recognize them much better but if there's some changes, like if a girl has her hair down when I usually see it up, it takes a few moments before I recognize her. If they don't make eye contact with me, sometimes I'm not even sure if they're who I thought I saw.

Maybe I'm just getting old. Or my brain has shrunk from disuse.


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## zwartekat (Dec 9, 2012)

All of my life I was good in remembrering peoples names... and faces.
Since my SA got worse this year, I've been having a very hard time rememebering faces! Sometimes I act all weird/shy around somebody I know "well" just because I can't remember their face! Of course, I feel all stupid afterwards. 

Has anybody else had the same thing? I'd like to know...


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