# You were a :Bully or a victim of Bullying?



## straightarrows (Jun 18, 2010)

During School/ College days.

Details are appreciated. 

Was Bullying is what cause your Social Anxiety? Agoraphobia???

Did you met your old FRIENDS after long years?? Could they remember? 

Did your Tewachers know/noted that?? what they did??

Did your parents noted/know about it?? what they did 

(I *think parents r always busy saying: don't talk to strangers, don't accept gifts from strangers!! and If she/he grow up a little: don't use drugs, don't play @%!*

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*I think Americans are the best Bullies!! since pre-school till death! just a short tour over the internet ( Personally I think it's all that violence on TV, Internet and Video Games!!) *

*School Shootings are the best Examples!!! *


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## this portrait (Jul 18, 2009)

Victim of verbal bullying. Who says words can't break bones?


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## SOME (Jul 13, 2009)

I was a watcher.

I remember bouth in middle school and in highschool were the gang bangers would assault and rob kids. It happened alot in the locker rooms, it was very sad and frustrating watching somebody geting beat up and rob. Especially the kids who brought thier ipod and cell phone to school, big mistake.

I was never really 'bullied' because I knew some of those guys and I always just kept quiet and never told the teachers since I didn't want to get involved and start something.

Here's a little something I pulled of the local news paper for maxium details.



> The gang members distinguish themselves by the colors of their clothes or rags hanging from their pockets. Some write the names of their gangs or their gang monikers in schoolbooks. Others represent their gang affiliations on the belt buckles or hats they wear. A lot of tension can build when rivals sit in the same classes.
> Talk to students at Rubidoux High, and they will rattle off the names of gangs in the area and point to bus stops where classmates were attacked. Some said they worry they will be caught in the middle of the violence.
> Yvette Hernandez, 14, said she sometimes thinks twice about going to the movies or the park.
> "I'm scared people will shoot me out of nowhere."


.


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## strawberryjulius (Jun 28, 2009)

I've experienced bullying pretty much everywhere, home, work, both primary and high school and outside of those things.

Bullying didn't cause my SA since I had it before it happened. SA is actually the cause of my bullying. It made my SA worse.

The people who bullied me added me to myspace/facebook and acted like nothing ever happened. I wasn't interested in speaking to them so I deleted them.

The teachers I told didn't do anything because, "those girls wouldn't do something like that!" My parents received the same sort of reply when they spoke to the school principal. They did manage to get the boy bullying me punished and the next year I wasn't in the same class as the girls. Then I experienced bullying with the girls in THAT class. Ugh.


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## NVU (Jul 1, 2010)

I voted both bully and victim of verbal bullying.

I never beat any kids, it was always verbal and this was when I was young (Primary School). I'm not a believer in Karma, but I guess you could say it bit me in the arse. When I left primary school for high school, none of my friends went to the same school so I was a loner more or less. I was a pretty stocky lad for my age but I was quiet, so if anything was said I wouldn't speak up.

I left after a year to join my friends at another school and I was fine. I think it could possibly have contributed to my SA somehow, as the feelings started to resurface towards the end of high school when I was seperated from my friends in most classes. I've always stuck with one close friend throughout my life, all at different stages and all of which I don't speak to anymore. I guess the feeling of abandonment or lonliness is what caused my SA and still affects me now.


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## Meli24R (Dec 9, 2008)

I've experienced verbal and physical bullying. I had sa before the bullying started so I don't believe it alone is the cause. I do believe it made it worse. 
The neighborhood kids would call me all sorts of names and sometimes throw rocks at me if I wandered away from my house. 
I was bullied nearly every day in elementary and middle school (I was mostly ignored in high school) My parents confronted and informed my teachers that I was being bullying more than once, but they didn't give a ****. There was this one boy who picked on me a lot in elementary school. He once slammed a dodge ball right into my face in gym class(and this was after the game had ended) I kept seeing spots in my vision afterwards..I found out later that it had damaged my left cornea. The teacher saw it happen. She made him sit in time out for like 5 minutes as punishment:roll
The verbal bullying (by a group of girls) was the worst in 6th and 7th grade.


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## huh (Mar 19, 2007)

I was picked on sometimes, but not often. If I fought back, they generally stopped. No one really bothered me in highschool. I never bullied anyone.


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

I was a little - but it was really in our school was far to small!


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

I selected physical, verbal, and emotional. Though I'm not at all clear on how verbal and emotional would differ, as they seem to largely overlap.

I've was the perfect target. Shy, fat (this was back before being fat a common size for kids), and didn't fight back. I might as well have worn a bullseye with a sign that said "pick on me."

One of my great regrets is that I failed to stand up for myself. I lived in an era long before Columbine when schools failed to realize the exceptional degree of trauma that bullies can cause and did little to stop bullies who largely had free reign to terrorize anyone weak or timid.

Looking back, I wish I'd beaten the daylights out of the first kid who dared to mess with me. Yeah, I could have been suspended, but a minor price for knowing that nobody would even think about picking on me again. Bullies, like all predators, target the weakest in the herd. Bullies don't mess with somebody they know will fight back with a vengeance and leave them bruised & bloody. I know many of you are thinking that by my age I should know violence isn't the answer. Well, unfortunately, a firmly worded statement from me to cease any further bullying would not have worked and we all know it. Now a bully with a with a bloody nose and a very swift kick to the groin is likely to remember an unspoken message of don't f'ing mess with me quite well.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

huh said:


> I was picked on sometimes, but not often. *If I fought back, they generally stopped.*


I failed to read earlier comments before posting my own. I covered the same issue in my own post.

Too bad I failed to fight back as you did. When one fights back, bullies move on to easier targets.


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## straightarrows (Jun 18, 2010)

This is what I mean by the word americans (so no one : *misunderstand me ):*
http://www.livevideo.com/video/1889DF4D52B3483FAF2491BE6C8702A9/fat-kid-beats-geek.aspx

http://www.livevideo.com/video/B637A18042AC4C71AD5C7D6F7D92A699/terrified-skater-cries-during-.aspx

they grow up in age : better not to post, kicking someone else in the head!!

not sure , but I feel mine was kind of worst than others, in my days (still in my 20's)

bullying was something uncommon!!

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*Physical :*

Causing Physical Injuries
Stealing
Punching
Shoving
Slapping
Debagging
Wedgies
Attacking
School pranks
Teasing and abusing
Fighting

*Emotional/Indirect school bullying*
Examples of emotional/indirect bullying include:[1]

Spreading bad rumors about people
Keeping certain people out of a "group"
Getting certain people to "gang up" on others (It also could be considered physical bullying)
Ignoring people on purpose - the silent treatment
Harassment
Provocation
Whispering to another in front of someone - whispering campaign
Keeping secrets away from a so-called friend

*Verbal Bullying*
Examples of Verbal Bullying:

Teasing People in a mean way, or cussing someone
Name Calling
Commenting meanly on someone's looks, clothes, body, or anything else
Tormenting
Harassment
Profanity


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## RyeCatcher86 (Sep 14, 2010)

I was a victim of both physical and verbal bullying, though the physical component was mostly limited to my time in elementary school. I was the new kid from a foreign country who had no friends in town, thus becoming the token outsider from day one. I was easy prey.
Verbal abuse (mostly related to my appearance), on the other hand, accompanied me throughout my school experience save for the last two grades or so. It was the worst from 5th to 8th grade but it only stopped by the time I reached 12th grade.
Interestingly enough almost all of the good friends (not that there were many) I made throughout my time in school were former bullies of mine. I guess when they made the effort to actually get to know me, they found out that I'm not that terrible of a person after all. :roll


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

Victim for a while, then i got fed up and started fighting back. I broke my bully's jaw and after that i was pretty much left alone. Seems like bullies aren't so tough once you start hitting them back.


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## Resonance (Feb 11, 2010)

For a variety of reasons (e.g. my looks, my dyspraxia, my social anxiety and general social ineptitude) I was bullied both physically and verbally almost all the way through school from age 5 to 16, to the extent I made several suicide attempts and self-harmed as a result.

Also as a result, I myself joined in the insulting of other kids on the rare occasion someones social status momentarily dropped below mine. You see, I noticed that the ones doing most of the bullying were generally the more popular kids, so I figured that the key to popularity was to bully those less popular than oneself to assert social dominance. Ergo, if someone else other than me was a victim and a chance came along for me to add to their torment I sometimes did, so I picked bully, and the victim options. I was also an impartial observer to many incidents of physical, emotional and verbal abuse, but as the observer option features the word "just" I didnt pick this option.


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

Physical, verbal, and emotional. I was singled out the day I started school because I was the shy, awkward kid who made an easy target. I was teased, harrassed, called names, humiliated and embarrassed. They made fun of the way I looked, dressed, and talked. Girls would tell me I was ugly and one particular group pretended to be infatuated with me for their own amusement because they loved to watch me squirm. Physically I was hit, had things thrown at me, kicked, punched, had a few things stolen. A few times I tried to fight back, but there was just too many of them. Fighting back only rewarded their efforts because they knew they were breaking me down and it made the process even more enjoyable to them, they simply tortured me to get a reaction.
When I was young and naive I used to fear for my life because I felt so hated. As I grew older I felt suicidal...I just wanted the pain and torture to end. I even considered switching schools for a short time, but there was simply no escape. If not in school, it was on the bus. If one of them saw me in public they would even humiliate me in front of total strangers. These people knew no boundries, anything was fair game for their amusement.
I've tried to repress most of those memories. I had a very painful and unhappy childhood and it took me years to put my life back together. To this day l don't have much confidence or self esteem because of all those years of abuse. I'm still unhappy and have serious trust issues and I don't know if that will ever change. Rejection is basically the only thing I've ever known from people...I've never felt truly wanted or accepted.


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## Duke of Prunes (Jul 20, 2009)

Got a bit of verbal abuse but nothing that had any real emotional effect on me (it annoyed me a little, but it didn't upset me or make me feel bad). Eventually they got bored of it. After that, I started bullying them back a bit. Beat them up if they looked at me funny or said anything wrong, and I keyed their parents' cars too. Did some pretty impressive injuries for a primary school kid. Nothing funnier than seeing once-popular kids being reduced to tears in front of the whole school, it's the ultimate payback.


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## Misanthropic (Jun 25, 2010)

The only person who has ever physically bullied me is my father. From anyone else, I have only been verbally and emotionally bullied.


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## mrbojangles (Oct 8, 2009)

Lonelyguy said:


> Physical, verbal, and emotional. I was singled out the day I started school because I was the shy, awkward kid who made an easy target. I was teased, harrassed, called names, humiliated and embarassed. The made fun of the way I looked, dressed, and talked. Girls would tell me I was ugly and one particular group pretended to be infatuated with me for their own amusement because they loved to watch me squirm. Physically I was hit, had things thrown at me, kicked, punched, had a few things stolen. A few times I tried to fight back, but there was just too many of them. Fighting back only rewarded their efforts because they knew they were breaking me down and it made the process even more enjoyable to them, they simply tortured me to get a reaction.
> When I was young and naive I used to fear for my life because I felt so hated. As I grew older I felt suicidal...I just wanted the pain and torture to end. I even considered switching schools for a short time, but there was simply no escape. If not in school, it was on the bus. If one of them saw me in public they would even humiliate me in front of total strangers. These people knew no boundries, anything was fair game for their amusement.
> I've tried to repress most of those memories. I had a very painful and unhappy childhood and it took me years to put my life back together. To this day l don't have much confidence or self esteem because of all those years of abuse. I'm still unhappy and have serious trust issues and I don't know if that will ever change. Rejection is basically the only thing I've ever known from people...I've never felt truly wanted or accepted.


That sounds terrible, i hope in time you can learn to move on from all of that. The best thing i can say is that kids and teenagers can be cruel. Most of the time they're trying to fit in themselves which is why they say or do such horrible things.

I was more of a watcher, seeing kids bullied pissed me off like crazy though. Although every once and a while someone would say something stupid about my appearance or how quiet I was, i never experienced any sustained bullying. It seemed like they would give me trouble for about a week then suddenly stop. I don't know why people left me alone. I seemed like a perfect candidate for bullying, I listened to weird music, physically looked different than most people in our school, and I never talked to anyone. If anyone did talk about me, it was usually in whispers so i couldn't hear them.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

*Was Bullying is what cause your Social Anxiety? Agoraphobia???*
No, I've had SA all my life, but the bullying sure didn't help it. People love to harass people they think are weak.
 
*Did you met your old FRIENDS after long years?? Could they remember? *
I didn't have any friends. As for the bullies, I haven't seen them since, and I have no interest in seeing them.

*Did your Tewachers know/noted that?? what they did??*
Yeah, they knew, and they did nothing. Useless bunch of donkeys. Whenever they caught someone in the act of punching me, they gave ME a detention too, and they always looked at me as if I was some troublemaker who was provoking the sweet little bullies.

*Did your parents noted/know about it?? what they did*
They knew, and they tried to talk to the teachers about it, but as I said, the teachers were useless and did nothing.

It was hard enough for me to make friends with my social anxiety, but the bullying just made 100% certain that I didn't have any chance of fitting in or having anyone who liked me. Even the girls got in on the bullying action. Oh well, screw 'em, I'm long past those crappy old school days now. Now I have to deal with new crappy days.


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## shale (Jul 24, 2010)

I was a slight bully to one kid in junior high once to fit in with my group of friends, but I felt terrible about it and stopped. I often wonder if I should look him up and apologize, or if he'd rather just forget about it.


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