# Bf got lap dance from stripper.



## missalyssa (Jun 18, 2011)

Hay. So my boyfriend/fiancé went to a friends bachelor party and ended up buying himself a lap dance from a stripper. I thought this wouldn't bother me as it isn't real and he doesn't love her blah blah blah... But it is killing me inside!!!! I've been to bachelorette parties and I have never bought a dance for myself from a male stripper, only paid him to dance on the girl getting married. But I did go for the show. Anyway the bf was running low on cash so I lent him 200$ for the bachelor party weekend to make it memorable for the groom and I'm really upset he bought a lap dance for himself. Idk how to tell him. I'm just torn up inside that he would do that when he has a girl like me. I am so good to him sexually and I'm fairly pretty but it makes me feel like ****, like I'm not good enough obviously.


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

He was probably under "peer pressure" - it is not the decision I would have made.
You have to talke to him about it, or show him that you can lap dance, too. Make him give you your money back :lol.


----------



## Schizoidas (May 11, 2012)

I would not be ok with that.


----------



## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

I always end up feeling bad for the strippers. Like I want to tell them that I'll pay them to just come have a cup of coffee and talk about their childhood issues with me.

As for the whole scenario you find yourself in, I really have no advice to offer other than to tell him how you really feel.


----------



## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

Well at least it wasn't sex with a hooker.


----------



## Luka92 (Dec 13, 2011)

nemesis1 said:


> Well at least it wasn't sex with a hooker.


True. OP, I don't think you should worry too much.


----------



## missalyssa (Jun 18, 2011)

Luka92 said:


> True. OP, I don't think you should worry too much.


Yah, I guess I am overreacting. That was a drunk post lol. My gfs boyfriends/husbands were at the same bachelor party and they all did the same thing. He may have been pressured into it. I don't care that much anymore and I won't grill him on it when I see him.


----------



## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

What happens at bachelor parties is supposed to stay at the party.


----------



## wvmtnmama (Sep 16, 2012)

You need to tell him how you feel about it so he can man up next time and realize that peer pressure is not more important than your feelings. Don't invalidate yourself because you had some booze when you posted this, perhaps it is then that we allow our feelings to be known, even to ourselves.


----------



## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

I would never get a lap dance from a stripper while in a relationship. I don't know what your boyfriend got. But when I get a lap dance at a strip club, I usually at the bare minimum get tits rubbed lightly against my face. And at most, I've got as much as sucking on a stripper's tits a bit. I doubt you are comfortable with your bf going that far. lol. Some girls at certain clubs will even give you "extras" if you pay a good bit extra like handjobs, fellatio (with a condom. Boourns) and vaginal sex (with a condom too naturally. But that is expected. Any sex worker that would let you **** them without a condom is certifiably insane)


----------



## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

$200 dollars lol waste of money might as well through it in the garbage, same thing


----------



## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

MobiusX said:


> $200 dollars lol waste of money might as well through it in the garbage, same thing


I was thinking this too, your first problem was lending him the money from the start! But yeah it'd bother me too. But that's why I don't have nor want a relationship. You can't trust anyone fully.


----------



## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

He might have interpreted being loaned the money as the "go ahead." Can't really blame the guy without letting him know how you feel about it. I think it's only an issue if he knew it'd upset you but did it anyway.


----------



## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

If you can pay for your friend to get a lap-dance when she's about to get married, and you know how much she loves her soon-to-be-husband, I think you should be able to shake this off...


----------



## SoWrongItsRight (May 9, 2012)

I'd be pissed


----------



## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

I'd be pissed because it was *my* money, which was meant to be spent on the groom and not for him to have a woman grope his dick with her ***.

I want to say talk to him about it, but there isn't much to say. You already know what he's going to say. Talk to him if only to get it off your chest, but don't expect a good response, unless you're into one-dimensional apologies.


----------



## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

missalyssa said:


> . He may have been pressured into it.


Yeah,"they" made him. Of course, "they" are all telling their SOs same


----------



## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

I can certainly understand why you'd be upset. Not only did you trust him to spend your money selectively, but also I'm sure you trusted him not to do something like that with another woman. You should tell him all your feelings about the situation and let him know it's not okay.


----------



## BKrakow (Jul 8, 2010)

you lent him $200 and he used it to pay for another woman to rub her junk all over him? oh I'd be maaaaaaaaaad.


----------



## youngloc (Dec 23, 2009)

I wouldn't care if I had a gf and she did that, I would have probably makes jokes about it. Personally I could never do it, I would much prefer keeping the 200$ for something more useful like toilet paper than wasting it on a stripper.


----------



## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

AllToAll said:


> I'd be pissed because it was *my* money, which was meant to be spent on the groom and not for him to have a woman grope his dick with her ***.
> 
> I want to say talk to him about it, but there isn't much to say. You already know what he's going to say. Talk to him if only to get it off your chest, but don't expect a good response, unless you're into one-dimensional apologies.





BKrakow said:


> you lent him $200 and he used it to pay for another woman to rub her junk all over him? oh I'd be maaaaaaaaaad.


She lent him the money...which means it's his money. Now he owes her $200...and probably an apology for hurting her feelings.


----------



## LoneLioness (Nov 16, 2003)

He paid another women to rub her body all over him. That's cheating and I would dump my boyfriend if he ever did that. It makes it even worse he used your money for it. He completley disrespected you. A guy who truly loved his girlfriend would never spend 200 dollars of her money on that.


----------



## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

I think you're right to be upset. You told him to spend it on the groom and he spent it all on himself with a lap dance. 

Excluding that specific situation, I don't really see a problem with getting a lap dance. It's a bachelor party and that's what goes on there. As long as there isn't anything more going on like specific sexual things, then there shouldn't be a problem.


----------



## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

Seems like you're more irritated that you thought you had an understanding which wasn't agreed upon. Tell him how you feel but understand it wasn't a reflection of you in any way. Since he never said he wouldn't do it, you can be hurt but not mad.


----------



## Marvel Fantatic (Aug 23, 2012)

missalyssa said:


> Hay. So my boyfriend/fiancé went to a friends bachelor party and ended up buying himself a lap dance from a stripper. I thought this wouldn't bother me as it isn't real and he doesn't love her blah blah blah... But it is killing me inside!!!! I've been to bachelorette parties and I have never bought a dance for myself from a male stripper, only paid him to dance on the girl getting married. But I did go for the show. Anyway the bf was running low on cash so I lent him 200$ for the bachelor party weekend to make it memorable for the groom and I'm really upset he bought a lap dance for himself. Idk how to tell him. I'm just torn up inside that he would do that when he has a girl like me. I am so good to him sexually and I'm fairly pretty but it makes me feel like ****, like I'm not good enough obviously.


Think of it this way. You paid for someone else's fiancee to have a lap dance. On his bachelor party, someone will more than likely pay for thim to have a lap dance.


----------



## missalyssa (Jun 18, 2011)

Marvel Fantatic said:


> Think of it this way. You paid for someone else's fiancee to have a lap dance. On his bachelor party, someone will more than likely pay for thim to have a lap dance.


Yeah, I'm fine with that i understand that's what happens at those parties an when it's my mans bachelor party I hope his boys do lots of embarrassing things to him and I'm fine if they buy him dances. I think it was the fact tht he bought it for himself.


----------



## mzmz (Feb 26, 2012)

*just my 2 cents*

I think its fine.

He was honest, it's not like he's cheating or going to the bar all the time or getting lap dances with rent money.

If my boyfriend went to a bachelor party, and DIDN'T get a lap dance, I would feel sad for him. It would be like a kid that doesn't get ice cream from the ice creme truck :-(

Of course, I have 1st hand experience at strip clubs and with strippers, so yeah, I know its mostly NOT blow and blow jobs, like holywood likes to tell ya ;-P

I dont think you need to worry at ALL.


----------



## Sam1911 (Dec 4, 2010)

this guy sounds like such a winner if you have to lend him money for strippers :clap women love douche bags


----------



## Kris10 (Oct 14, 2009)

I think that's very disrespectful.


----------



## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

Sam1911 said:


> this guy sounds like such a winner if you have to lend him money for strippers :clap women love douche bags


Your right there women seem too love total wastes of space,I notice it more and more now even my friends see what I am going on about.


----------



## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

I hope you asked for that $200 back.


----------



## Notscott (May 24, 2013)

OP, while I get what you're saying there, it would bother me too. But worse things have happened in the adult world to almost everyone. If that is shaking your faith in him, you guys might be in trouble. Talk to him about it and tell him that you didn't like it o/c. But, I wouldn't trip on it. I'm not sure it is fair to say that it's artificial as that would imply that there would be any kind of relations happening at all. That's not the case when you're just watching a stripper shake it up. I don't think he intended to hurt you by doing it. You're where his home is. A stripper is just an exciting movie. It's not that bad and many people who will say things like, "Oh, that's terrible blah blah I would never blah blah blah", but the truth is that most of those people either are or will be guilty of much worse than watching a stripper. I wouldn't blow it out of proportion.


----------



## Notscott (May 24, 2013)

Also, a man wanting to see another woman IS NOT a reflection of how he sees you. In fact I would bet that it was only fun for him because he had a real girl he loves to go home to. Otherwise it's a reminder of what you don't have. A man can love his woman completely and think she is the most beautiful woman in the world, but he would still like to see other girls naked. You can't really expect much else. He's a person.


----------

