# Quit Picking



## MojoCrunch (Mar 25, 2011)

For once I will use this site to help me with actual problems instead of ranting about stuff, like I normally do.

So, I have trichotillomania, as well as several other nervous habits. I constantly pick my left eye lashes all the time when I am bored or nervous. It's a horrible habit not only because of loss of my long eyelashes, but I will also get swelling and infections and pains in my left eye. Hell, even when I do have a red swollen eye I will continue picking it! I really need to stop and I think by setting this goal and updating on my progress it really might help me to stop. At least, it will help me to be more aware of it, in order to quit all this picking.

Day 1:
May 28,2011
12:33 PM

Let's see if I can at least stop picking entirely for a week!

I need to keep my hands away from my face entirely. I can already feel my left fingers brushing against it. :no


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## MojoCrunch (Mar 25, 2011)

1:45 PM - Wow, already an hour into this and I feel my hand going up to pick, but instead it's just brushing the lashes. Not being able to pick it is pushing me to the brink of sobbing. I think for the first time I realized how serious this is. This is soooo hard. 

2:06 PM - My irritation levels are up and I want to punch someone (primarily members of my family. Since when did this house turn into Holiday Inn?!). Not being able to pick during situations like this make me want to break down and cry. I hate it. I never realized how dependent I am on this as a coping mechanism.


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## hickorysmoked (Mar 7, 2010)

I knew a girl that had trichotillomania, I met her on another SA site. I didn't know that there was such a disorder like that until she showed me her hair without her wig. She said she had had it since she was a kid and people used to make fun of her, and some even reached through a school us and pulled her wig off. She had to ride some with no wig on and kids laughing at her. She was one of the most genuine people I had ever met, or, conversed with, though. I think she had made strides to stop with relapses here and there. Hopefully you can do the same Mojo. I pick at the skin on my forehead, in the corner of the hairline where the top of the forehead meets the middle. and my beard all the time. I don't think its a disorder, but I cant stop until the scab thats there is off. Sometime it bleeds sometimes it doesn't.


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## uhmm doh (Feb 5, 2011)

ouch... eye lashes!!? i tried plucking an eyelash right now but is damn hard to do!

i used to pluck my eyebrows when i was smaller but fortunately stopped.

keep posting your progress, and quit picking!


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## MojoCrunch (Mar 25, 2011)

2:25 PM - :cry


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

Man oh man do I ever know this feeling. Picker, puller, nail biter, I've got the whole package. I've never had a completely pull free day, but there are days when it is lesser than others.


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## gilt (Jan 7, 2010)

MojoCrunch, I have a few comments:

- First, a week might be too long for you right now. I don't know what your pick frequency is, but maybe you can shorten this to a day or even to a set number of hours - something difficult, but attainable. 

- Perhaps you can explore the use some of the therapies out there like Habit Reversal Training or a medication. These might help you to reach your goal.

Best wishes for you MojoCrunch!


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## MojoCrunch (Mar 25, 2011)

Thanks for the advice, gilt! I'll look into that. Right now I'm trying to lower my frequency of pulling. I know I can't downright stop it so quickly.



Revenwyn said:


> Man oh man do I ever know this feeling. Picker, puller, nail biter, I've got the whole package. I've never had a completely pull free day, but there are days when it is lesser than others.


Thank you for the first-hand understanding. I only have it in one area, but I could only imagine having it in more than one place.

So yesterday I gave in one or two times and downright picked. The area around my eye is still just as swollen as yesterday. But even though I kind of failed yesterday, I'm still going to try. It's at least better to be aware of when I do it.

Day 2 - 10:59 AM

Let's see how this goes today...

6:22 PM - Only picked one or two times so far. Not too bad so far. My eye is still rather swollen so I'm reeeeally hoping this goes down.


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## MojoCrunch (Mar 25, 2011)

Day 3 - 12:52 PM

Lightly picked only three or four times yesterday. It didn't go as deep. Mostly did it when my mom yelled at me. But it was a lot lighter yesterday than it was the first day.

5:22 - Just caught myself subconsciously picking.


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## kesker (Mar 29, 2011)

Thanks for putting yourself out there, MojoCrunch. Maybe these continuing updates will help you to progress through this and help others going through similar experiences. You have a cheering section here. I wish I could say I was an expert on this sort of thing, but I think advice given earlier about seeking therapeutic modes of treatment and support sounds like a good idea. 
Keep posting. I wish the best for you.


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## MojoCrunch (Mar 25, 2011)

^^ Thanks Kesker. I appreciate it!

Day 4 - 8:11 AM

Welp, yesterday I didn't pick as much so that was good and I at least caught myself every time I did it. Gotta get a lot of work done. So we'll see.

4:41 PM - One thing I notice is that when I drive, I always pick in between stop lights. I never realized that I did that before.

10:53 PM - Very anxious all of a sudden for some reason. I'm not picking too deep. But I'm picking a lot more frequently than I have in the last few days. I've at least stopped this second. Oh, how badly I want to....:eyes


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## MojoCrunch (Mar 25, 2011)

Day 5 - 4:47 PM Was very busy all day (trimming hedges and doing yard work) and I don't think I have even picked once! :yay But there's still the rest of this day. Now that I am thinking about it....I want to pick. But I can't. Of course, I do the occasionally "eye rub" which could be considered cheating but all I knows is that the tip of my fingers is not touching that one area.

6:20 PM - F*** I just picked. But I immediately stopped.


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## IfWinterEnds (Jun 4, 2010)

Hiiiii. The only time I've ever gotten fake nails in my life was earlier this year when a friend told me she was paying for them. I'd compulsively picked one area of skin for four years. Couldn't seem to control it, decided to stop so many times. The fake nails lasted a month and embarrassed me a little. Now nails are gone, I haven't picked in four months. Sometimes I touch the area out of habit, but no picking. Don't wanna undo the progress. With the nails, it just wasn't satisfying at all to even try to pick. Pretty much impossible. Try it!!! Even if you're not a fake nails kind of person.


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## StevenGlansberg (Apr 1, 2009)

Great job so far! You can do it Mojo!


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## MojoCrunch (Mar 25, 2011)

Thanks for the support, Glansberg! I appreciate it.

IfWinterEnds - Sounds like a great idea! I'll try it. However, I actually have naturally long nails and...I still pick.  I don't know. I always find ways to get around stuff like that. But maybe I'll consider something like that for my future attempts at quitting. Thanks!

It's 11:36 PM. I get anxious around this time for some reason. I picked within the hour but did restrain myself. I need to work a bit harder. Two more days. Maybe ONE of those days I can see if I can spend the whole day quitting.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

I just found this thread! 

I also have trich. It's thankfully just eyebrows and eyelashes for me. I know how sad it is to lose those lovely eyelashes.

Mine is really REALLY related to stress. I'm pretty calm right now, so I've been okay. Good luck! I really hope making this thread helps you. It's a tough issue to talk about, since so few people understand it. I hope you keep going 

Edit: I might not come back to this thread. It's been like three minutes and I can FEEL my eyelashes....


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## luctus (Mar 31, 2011)

Mojo, I wish you the best with this. I know it can't be easy. Yeah, I can sort of relate to this because of my cutting and skin-picking. The skin-picking is just this constant compulsion, and if I try to quit I almost get suicidal.
I once deliberately tried to replace my cutting with hair pulling (mostly body hairs, because who needs them anyway?). After about two weeks of doing that, I'd caused myself so much discomfort and gotten so obsessed with it it scared me and I quit. I learned quickly that there wasn't anything "harmless" to that. It was silly trying to switch disorders haha

Sounds like you're making some huge progress, by the way


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## ReincarnatedRose (May 20, 2011)

I remember when I used to cut myself, I did a few things like wear rubber bands on my wrists so instead of cutting I would sometimes just snap the rubber bands and that would pinch the skin but not cut, and it eased the tension and allowed me to control my urge to cut.

I also used red markers and I'd just draw these red dark lines ll over my arms, and that also eased the frustration and need to see red blood on my arms.

So, maybe you can think of something similar you can do. Another activity that can perhaps give you the same "high" but won't cause that much damage. Something you can focus on while you find a way to control your thoughts and urges completely.


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## MojoCrunch (Mar 25, 2011)

Day 6 - 12:02 PM 

Thanks for the support everyone. I appreciate it.  And I know what you mean Perfectionist about how you can FEEL those eyelashes. I just effing picked a minute ago. I'm a bit disappointed in myself because last night I got very anxious and picked a lot, even before I went to bed.

Right now stress is up and dad is letting me know all the problems we have right now. I feel guilty because I feel like I could have done more to help - increasing my stress- and urge to pick badly right now. But I am restraining myself. Let's see how this goes today. I suppose I'll do my best to distract myself with work.

3:57 PM - Picked out of boredom after doing a little studying and mowing the lawn.  Dammit.

7:41 PM - Having a depressive episode and feel miserable. Funny, normally I would be picking my eye apart till it bleeds, but I am actually not doing that! It's kind of a cool feeling.

9:14 PM - VERY anxious. On fire. Feel like running twenty miles off a cliff and exploding, kind of anxious. Picked a little earlier, but have managed to restrain myself. Right now my eyelashes are like Juliet and my finger is like Romeo. It's saying all this romantic poetry **** to her and wants to climb up there.

9:19 PM - I'm a real piece of ****. I just picked the crap out of my left eye and it felt soooo gooood....stop stop stop!!!!

9:48 PM - Romeo and Juliet just had a massive make-out session.  Know what? I need to stop sitting around and letting this anxiety set in. I could easily be reading a book. I'm going to get my silly self off this site and read it!


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## Ambitious (Apr 17, 2011)

You know, you are doing a really good thing but keeping a journal of this. Keep it going; keep posting.

Also reconigise what areas you feel you can improve on, like you last comment said "I'm a real piece of ****". NO WAY are you a piece of ****!"

I know this is how your feeling, but say something like "I feel like a piece of ****, but i know i have made a huge effort and this effort is HUGE". 

Say it and mean it.
Dont degrade yourself.
It will make you feel that way
Why feel like **** when you can recongise the HUGE achievements?!

Best of luck


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## MojoCrunch (Mar 25, 2011)

^^ Thanks for the advice and kind words.  I'll try not to beat myself up over it.

Day 7 - 9:19 AM
*cue music*

So this is the last day. Last night I picked...quite a lot. And I think today I'll do something a little different. I'm going to try and not pick for just a few hours. Starting at 10:00 AM. Between 10 and 12, absolutely no picking. And then if I can do that at least, I'll see if I can go a little longer.

10:25 AM - Phooey, I already broke it. I think I did it because dad came home and unleashed a whole new slew of problems our family has. Ugh, as long as I'm living in this house or living with other people I don't know if this trich will ever go away. Oh well, TRY AGAIN. I'm going to start small. I won't pick for an hour. 11 AM - 12 NO PICKING.

12:24 PM - Broke it again last hour and just did five seconds ago. TRY AGAIN.


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

Just wondering, as a trichster I've developed things to do with my hands. Do you do any hand crafts that would divert from the picking?


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## MojoCrunch (Mar 25, 2011)

Revenwyn said:


> Just wondering, as a trichster I've developed things to do with my hands. Do you do any hand crafts that would divert from the picking?


Sometimes I just touch my eyelid with the back of my hand. That helps a little. Other than that my hands have to keep working. Like typing or moving something.

What hand crafts do you use?

Btw, I manage to NOT pick at all between 1-2 PM. So that's pretty good.


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## MojoCrunch (Mar 25, 2011)

Well the week is up. Technically I have failed as I have not been able to go a single day without picking. Which means I set too high of a goal and next time need to make it smaller and try other options. I'll revive this thread another time and try again.

I'm not going to lie, I feel disappointed in myself for not having the self-control to stop for even half a day. But I guess if I try to look at the situation positively, I at least am more aware of WHEN I pick, and have been able to restrain myself in tense situation where I'd normally go crazy.

Thanks for the support everyone.


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## modus (Apr 27, 2011)

Hey, I have bad trich too except I pick at my actual hair and create these huge bald spots. I used to pick at my hairline and neck but now I've moved onto the very center of my hair 

I have stuff to cover it up but it rubs off kind of easy.. just can't stop.. One thing that helped me was ordering a fake butterfly knife and using my hands to do tricks with it. Unfortunately, I used it so much that it broke after a couple weeks. I should get more of those...

Good luck to both of us :[


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## Kate4evr1018 (Jul 20, 2011)

*same!!*

Yes!! I am exactly this


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## kilgoretrout (Jul 20, 2011)

exobyte said:


> Hey, I have bad trich too except I pick at my actual hair and create these huge bald spots. I used to pick at my hairline and neck but now I've moved onto the very center of my hair
> 
> I have stuff to cover it up but it rubs off kind of easy.. just can't stop.. One thing that helped me was ordering a fake butterfly knife and using my hands to do tricks with it. Unfortunately, I used it so much that it broke after a couple weeks. I should get more of those...
> 
> Good luck to both of us :[


I used to have trich when I was in grade school and I too pulled out my scalp hair for awhile and was left with a noticeable bald spot. It definitely wasn't easy to cover up and my own friends picked on me for it. I'm not exactly sure why I eventually stopped - I know though that my anxiety and depression had something to do with the cause. It felt so good pulling strands of my hair out even though I knew my bald spot (and the teasing) would just get worse. My mother took me to the doctor because I denied pulling out my hair, I was so embarrassed. The doc misdiagnosed me as having alopecia.


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## MojoCrunch (Mar 25, 2011)

Whoa, forgot about this thread. Sorry for all of you guys that got picked on for your trich and has noticable bald spots. Thanks for sharing your experiences all. Been picking the crap out of my eye again as of recently so I might start up again. If any of you guys want to try quitting for a little bit as a starter feel free to post your progress in this thread.


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