# How does it feel to have never felt love?



## TheVoid

So I started this other thread here knowing what was coming.

I now want to feel a bit better about my pathetic state by acknowledging that there are others like me. So, if you are a fellow unfortunate soul who has never felt this great feeling of love, please share your misery with us. :rain


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## WineKitty

How old are you?

Love can find you when you least expect it. I know that sounds like a worn out cliche but really is true.


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## Marc999

Well, I've felt love maybe 2 times, the others were just dating periods I suppose. Yet, it's been a very long time since I've really loved a woman, felt it etc. It's really not a pleasant experience living without it for so long...rather crushing at times. Especially when you see other couples in lala land staring into each others' eyes. Yeah, I miss it. 

Nevertheless, have to stay optimistic, take care of #1 first, the rest will follow. 
That's the plan stan


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## Deepthought

I am sad that I have never felt love, even more sadder knowing that no one has ever loved me, apart from my family ofcourse. But that isnt enough for me. I am a nice guy, always treat women with respect, never say a bad word about anyone and I am a very patient man. Yet none of these qualities has got me very far at all.
I have had huge crushes where I thought about some women every minute of every day for a few weeks at a time, but I never got any indication that they were ever into me.

People say I will find love one day, but considering that at best a third of my active life has already gone, I am not feeling too confident in this.


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## Bigmo

I don't want to fall in love. I prefer being single.


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## BillDauterive

I've turned 26 today and have never had a girlfriend, never kissed a girl, never held hands, etc. NOTHING.

The closest I've ever had is some crushes with girls online but every single one would just end badly. I just want to give up entirely and do my best to be content with being a single virgin forever. If I have to get castrated or whatnot, I don't care. Just please get rid of these desires which left unfulfilled for so long, are eating away at me inside.


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## Mongoose

I'm pretty sure I've felt love before, but no woman has ever loved me back. I don't even know of any women I've been interested in who've been interested in me.


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## TheVoid

WineKitty said:


> How old are you?
> 
> Love can find you when you least expect it. I know that sounds like a worn out cliche but really is true.


33
It has been a very long wait. Too long that I am beginning to feel that yes, it IS a worn out cliche


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## mfd

For myself I wouldn't describe it as misery... more like a curiosity, or confusion. I'm someone who doesn't form emotional connections to others (and never has), so I've not been in love, and I've not felt it from others.

I know there are people who love me (I'm not talking about romantic love here), but why they do, and what exactly it means I don't fully understand.

The closest I'd guess I've come to 'love' is probably back when I returned to public school for my senior year.

By chance I became friends with a girl in my art class, and I quite liked spending time with her. For several months we spent almost every evening and every weekend together. She was very funny, totally uninhibited, extremely nice, and was very intuitive. I'd never met anyone like her before, and haven't since.

More than anyone else I've ever known, she seemed to understand my social limitations. She could get me to talk, and get me out of the house, and I can truly say I enjoyed her company. It is exceedingly rare for me to _want_ to be around someone, but with her I couldn't get enough. She fascinated me, and I felt like a real person around her.

Unfortunately, she began speaking about topics that I wasn't comfortable with, and I got the sense there was more behind it (other people told me they thought so too). As time went on these topics came up more and more frequently, and at the time I didn't know what to do about it so overnight I just stopped hanging out with her. From that point on avoided her :stu It's a shame because she would have been a good person to have in my life still, but I didn't know how else to handle it back then.


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## JamesM2

I'm another one of those people who doesn't form emotional connections with people. I've had crushes in the past but have never really been in love, which is just fine with me as I neither seek nor desire it.


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## ravens

I've never had a girlfriend. Never held hands, kissed a girl before or had sex.


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## ShouNagatsuki

Love, as in romantic love?
I'm 21, never been in love and is completely not bothered by that. I'm even curious why having a boy/girlfriend and marriage is a big deal... Romantic relationship is way too emotionally stressful for me.*shrugs*


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## soulstorm

*I have SA and I've felt love before*

I was in love one time over a decade ago and the damage from that relationship has left me crippled to this day. Not disabled, just crippled. If you've never felt love I wouldn't sweat it. It could be the worse thing that ever happened to you. I hope you do find mutual love eventually though.


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## BackToBasics

Love isn't always easy and you're absolutely right - it can be crippling. I've been there, done that. It could be the worst thing that has ever happened to you...but then again, it could be the best thing to happen to you. And you know what? I wouldn't change having the opportunity to love and be loved for anything in the world.



soulstorm said:


> I was in love one time over a decade ago and the damage from that relationship has left me crippled to this day. Not disabled, just crippled. If you've never felt love I wouldn't sweat it. It could be the worse thing that ever happened to you. I hope you do find mutual love eventually though.


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## starsonfire

I was in love. It's nice until you realize it's not mutual. Unless it's mutual, you're better off feeling nothing.


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## fern

Deepthought said:


> I am sad that I have never felt love, even more sadder knowing that no one has ever loved me, apart from my family of course. But that isnt enough for me.


:ditto


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## michijo

I felt love at least twice for a woman in a relationship. I am just glad for Latin American women in the USA, otherwise I would probably have never kissed a girl, been in love, or had sex.


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## michijo

I think women are the victims of Feminism, and that women who have never been in love are loveless due to Feminism distorting their reality. Feminism leads to loneliness in women, due to the distortion of gender roles. After the woman loses her femininity, men cannot love her. She becomes internally abrasive and angry.

With the loss of the ability to love, the feminist turns sour toward all men and humanity in general.


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## TheVoid

michijo said:


> I think women are the victims of Feminism, and that women who have never been in love are loveless due to Feminism distorting their reality. Feminism leads to loneliness in women, due to the distortion of gender roles. After the woman loses her femininity, men cannot love her. She becomes internally abrasive and angry.
> 
> With the loss of the ability to love, the feminist turns sour toward all men and humanity in general.


Either read a good book and get an idea what the **** feminism is or don't come to this thread showing your ignorance. Feminism is not a hatred for men as some media channels have most hopeless, emotionally-vulnerable, sexist men believe.

Feminism is not even exclusive for women. It is a movement involving all people except the sexists. Feminism came as an important socio-political change in most societies to address some of the issues around women and facilitate women equal political and social rights.

If women have fu**ed you up physically or emotionally, deal with it separately without dragging feminism into it. Also, not all women want a man for love or live by so called "gender roles" some pathetic sexist fantasizes about and jerks off to at night.


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## Daveyboy

starsonfire said:


> I was in love. It's nice until you realize it's not mutual. Unless it's mutual, you're better off feeling nothing.


This^...

Also once you find out it wasn't mutual, you have to fight with your brain... 
break it off and go on...
...or just keep going because it's all you may ever have..

Tougher choice than you may think..atleast it was for me..


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## Richard83

Deepthought said:


> I am sad that I have never felt love, even more sadder knowing that no one has ever loved me, apart from my family ofcourse. But that isnt enough for me. I am a nice guy, always treat women with respect, never say a bad word about anyone and I am a very patient man. Yet none of these qualities has got me very far at all.
> I have had huge crushes where I thought about some women every minute of every day for a few weeks at a time, but I never got any indication that they were ever into me.
> 
> People say I will find love one day, but considering that at best a third of my active life has already gone, I am not feeling too confident in this.


I'll just quote this, since this is exactly my situation. Feels really good! :blank


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## shinning like me

well i fell in love when i was 17 and got married to him at 23 and still with him. But now i feel not being loved by him. My husband is the only guy who approached me and than there was no one before and after him. So i think other trhan him , there was just no other guy ever interested in me. And now as the life moves on I m not feeling the love at all....


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## Alienated

michijo said:


> I think women are the victims of Feminism, and that women who have never been in love are loveless due to Feminism distorting their reality. Feminism leads to loneliness in women, due to the distortion of gender roles. After the woman loses her femininity, men cannot love her. She becomes internally abrasive and angry.
> 
> With the loss of the ability to love, the feminist turns sour toward all men and humanity in general.


Thank YOU dude !! I am totally with you on that one. I answered a ad in the paper of a woman just wanting to have a date, you know like dinner, or a movie. We talked for a while on the phone and said why not. We met and she scared the HELL out of me.

She served 8 years as a Marine, trained in small arms and hand to hand combat skills, had 4 ex-husbands , and started telling me what I would have to like to date her.

She was her worst own enemy !!


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## Howlett

I screwed up my chances when I was younger and it really haunts me everyday. What's worse is that now that I am older, women aren't as interested in me as I was when I was younger(I think it's because they can sense something is not right about me), everyday is emotional/mental torture. I'll take any opiate I can to prevent from feeling pathetic and lonely and to give me what little self-esteem I can muster. I really regret the stupid desicions I made.


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## TheVoid

Alienated said:


> Thank YOU dude !! I am totally with you on that one. I answered a ad in the paper of a woman just wanting to have a date, you know like dinner, or a movie. We talked for a while on the phone and said why not. We met and she scared the HELL out of me.
> 
> She served 8 years as a Marine, trained in small arms and hand to hand combat skills, had 4 ex-husbands , and started telling me what I would have to like to date her.
> 
> She was her worst own enemy !!


If you don't like women "trained in small arms and hand to hand combat skills and had 4 ex-husbands" that's you personal choice but I don't see how this connects to feminism or her being her own enemy. It seems that some people try to confine women (and men) into specific gender roles they have set according to their liking, but people are diverse with diverse interests and personalities. Just because someone does not follow a narrow-minded stereotype does not mean he/she is a screwed up outcast.

Your personal choices aside, the world is filled with different types of people. Some of them are actually way better off than some of us losers desperately trying to go with the flow.


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## antonina

Alienated said:


> Thank YOU dude !! I am totally with you on that one. I answered a ad in the paper of a woman just wanting to have a date, you know like dinner, or a movie. We talked for a while on the phone and said why not. We met and she scared the HELL out of me.
> 
> She served 8 years as a Marine, trained in small arms and hand to hand combat skills, had 4 ex-husbands , and started telling me what I would have to like to date her.
> 
> She was her worst own enemy !!


The feminism is not about hating men but allowing people to live as they chose regardless of gender. This also includes men not having to conform to gender roles. Shy guys should like this as this would loosen up having to conform to the outgoing super masculine stereotype set for men.

It sounds like some men on this thread are blaming women for all their problems.


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## TheVoid

antonina said:


> The feminism is not about hating men but allowing people to live as they chose regardless of gender. This also includes men not having to conform to gender roles. Shy guys should like this as this would loosen up having to conform to the outgoing super masculine stereotype set for men.


Exactly! :yes

Anyone talking down the feminist movement is obviously not well informed of it. Feminism is for creating an environment where everyone can live with dignity and in harmony irrespective of differences.

What I really don't understand is why people like us (most of us here don't really go with the flow anyway) would reject it out of all people. For example, I see guys here everyday complaining that they are thought of as less of a guy because they are shy, don't play aggressive football or don't have a girl. But the next moment we go out and feed these stereotypes right back to society that comes back and bites us eventually.


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## howard26

Around 20, i thought i was in love, but now I'm not sure if what i felt was real love. I may have been happy to be in a relationship, etc. Since it was so long ago, it's hard to remember. I guess when real love happens, you will know it? I just don't know. I know i cried a lot when i broke up:teeth


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## LostinReverie

antonina said:


> It sounds like some men on this thread are blaming women for all their problems.


On SAS? No way.

Anyhow, I have also never felt anything besides unrequited love. Currently, I have fallen pretty hard for a guy _9 years_ my junior. How stupid can you be?


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## DaydreamBeliever10

I always have feelings for the wrong people. I fell in love once and they said they loved me too but it was very complicated and it wasn't meant to be. I had a guy falling in love with me but I think I dismissed him too quickly. I ended up panicking and running and now he won't talk to me. I'm sick of seeing people in love, it's great for them and I don't want to be a sour, miserable person but why is it so much harder for us. I start falling for the ones I can't have and the ones I can have and who want me, I run from them. I wish I could kick social anxiety's ***!! I want to know what it's like to be mutual love and be able to enjoy it.


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## losteternal

I have never been in love I dont know how it feels so its no loss. I have been mad about four men in the course of my life, always men who dont feel the same which is a nuisance but quite convenient as well, saves it getting meaningful and complicated. Bet I wont be saying that in twenty years time when im on the floor with a broken hip and no one has noticed ive gone missing lol.


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## howard26

Very true for me > """I start falling for the ones I can't have and the ones I can have and who want me, I run from them"""


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## IcedOver

I'm not looking for "love", whatever that is. I have neither the time nor the interest in any kind of long-standing relationship. However, I am looking for "lust", and to be 37 and never to have felt that with someone, never even to have looked at a naked woman in person, makes me feel absolutely silly, even though it's all my fault. I've got a conversation going that could lead to it, but my anxiety is telling me that I've either already blown it or will blow it.


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## TheVoid

howard26 said:


> Very true for me > """I start falling for the ones I can't have and the ones I can have and who want me, I run from them"""


Same here. Sometimes I wonder why the hell it is so :um


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## mps625

*Love is like heroin*

I equate love to a drug. I used to think that it was more spiritual, the whole notion that love comes from God and all that. But my experiences make me believe it's more of a weakness than anything, and people can use it to take advantage of you.

I'm not totally against it, but I'm not willing to take a lot of risks just to get it.


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## Tawnyshade

soulstorm said:


> I was in love one time over a decade ago and the damage from that relationship has left me crippled to this day. Not disabled, just crippled. If you've never felt love I wouldn't sweat it. It could be the worse thing that ever happened to you. I hope you do find mutual love eventually though.


Unfortunately, I can relate to this statement entirely. Love can definitely be damaging to the point where having experienced it in a certain circumstance hurts you more than ever uplifted you when you had it. This isn't always the case, but can be. It has happened to me. How I admire those of you whom merely wonder what love can bring, I would trade places with you in an instance. It's a better fate than knowing what it can result in at it's worst.


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## ChuckBrown

I've never been loved. I'd waste time sometimes years perusing women that weren't interested. It would be nice to find someone.


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## RelinquishedHell

I was mutually in love once. There really is no greater feeling in the world. Once it's over though, there is no worse feeling in the world.


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## howard26

It kind of feels like people can tell just by looking at you.


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## AdrianNZ

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepthought View Post
I am sad that I have never felt love, even more sadder knowing that no one has ever loved me, apart from my family ofcourse. But that isnt enough for me. I am a nice guy, always treat women with respect, never say a bad word about anyone and I am a very patient man. Yet none of these qualities has got me very far at all.
I have had huge crushes where I thought about some women every minute of every day for a few weeks at a time, but I never got any indication that they were ever into me.

People say I will find love one day, but considering that at best a third of my active life has already gone, I am not feeling too confident in this.



Richard83 said:


> I'll just quote this, since this is exactly my situation. Feels really good! :blank


I'm gonna just quote your quote :| A lot of *very* familiar stuff in this thread...


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## pierceson07

I'm not sure if I have ever felt it really. In my family I don't think we have ever told each other that I love you, and we don't give hugs. In a relationship I do start out with the butterflies and being on cloud nine, but then it goes away into an emotionless state. I fantasize in my mind about it, and it brings me some form of peace.


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## hanzitalaura

"Love" is highly overrated. One should focus on loving themselves first if you find someone you can't stand to be around then stick around but don't change who you are or expect much out of anyone because more often than not you will be dissapointed. Love is nothing but an illusion a craze to posses. We have been brainwashed by the media and movies that romantisize Love, making us search for someone that will make us feel and experience all those things we see other people do on tv. Even in real life when you see a "happy in love couple" you are only seeing what they want you to see. Behind close doors there's no such thing as a soul mate or perfect bf/gf. You simply stick around with the best person you are able to find and if you find someone better then you move on. Period.


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## diamondheart89

Almost everyone has felt love, maybe not romantic love, but love.


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## losteternal

I really feel for all you guys who want love, its such a shame to want something so much. But I believe that most of you will find true love and the longer you wait, the more chance you have of getting it right. Try not to get into despair over it, just go about your business and fate will put you together when the time is right.


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## aquilla

starsonfire said:


> I was in love. It's nice until you realize it's not mutual. Unless it's mutual, you're better off feeling nothing.


This, sadly.


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## Subject 1

I have been in love.
When the bond is strong there is not much I can compare to the feeling.
It is a very good feeling.
Grey clouds we tend to live under disappear, positive thoughts appear more often, outlook on life feels more optimistic.

We do take great emotional risk when we fall in love because the feeling can be incredible.

The loss of love can be so devastating yet many of us will continue to feel a need to be loved by another and continue the cycle until we find someone who will not stop loving us for who we are.


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## HopefulSeeker

shinning like me said:


> well i fell in love when i was 17 and got married to him at 23 and still with him. But now i feel not being loved by him. My husband is the only guy who approached me and than there was no one before and after him. So i think other trhan him , there was just no other guy ever interested in me. And now as the life moves on I m not feeling the love at all....


Shinning. Life does get complicated and busy some times. So busy that events seem to get in the way of what really matters. I hope you are able to work on your relationship with him. It takes patience, a level of patience I often do not have when my wife tries to get me to do the same. In my case I do care, though I feel so burned out some times. Work feels never ending. I think the trick is just slowing down. But I have not mastered that trick yet.

As far as love goes, I'm one of the fortunate who has SAS. I've had many relationships, but I've only met two women whose depth of being knocked me unconscious. Both very religious people, both were the great loves of my life. Interesting that they were both religious, since I'm an atheist. I'm married to one of them. I've been very lucky.

Seeker


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## The Sleeping Dragon

I've been in love. Never loved back.


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## DarrellLicht

Been in love. I loved her, her family, both loved me back. 

I flaked out. There is a forbidden factor in the whole situation I wont readily talk about. 

She was nurturing, affectionate, and understanding. Her parents/sibling were intelligent and supportive and fun to be around. Just about everything I ever wanted.
I miss her, I long to meet another person like her.

I feel optimistic at times. Most times not.


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## Sonnyboy

Its real difficult, the thoughts and feelings inside that keep me from having connections with woman make life difficult. I think if I had male friends I would have probably met woman.

Now days I can hardly let my mind have a thought because its so messed up . It has helped me learn how to disconnect from my thoughts somewhat.


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## hypestyle

It's awful. autumn is here, winter is coming, and I'll just be alone again as usual, nobody to cozy up with.


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## Memory Motel

Personally, it has made me go somewhat mad. I've obtained body dismorphic disorder, suicidal thoughts, low self esteem, and enormous rages. This is literally because I have never had reciprocated love from a female, something that is essential for mental wellbeing in my opinion.


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## Findedeux

It's a cliche but I think you have to love/be ok with yourself before you can expect other people to fall in love with you.


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## Radjinn

TheVoid said:


> Either read a good book and get an idea what the ***** feminism is or don't come to this thread showing your ignorance. Feminism is not a hatred for men as some media channels have most hopeless, emotionally-vulnerable, sexist men believe.
> 
> Feminism is not even exclusive for women. It is a movement involving all people except the sexists. Feminism came as an important socio-political change in most societies to address some of the issues around women and facilitate women equal political and social rights.
> 
> If women have fu**ed you up physically or emotionally, deal with it separately without dragging feminism into it. Also, not all women want a man for love or live by so called "gender roles" some pathetic sexist fantasizes about and jerks off to at night.


I think this comment brings credibility to the "Abrasive and angry" comment the previous guy posted lol.


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## ScorchedEarth

I never have and it sounds like I'm better off this way. It's not like other people turn out more ethical or considerate from it, everyone's an ******* regardless. I hate intoxicants and from what I hear, love is also very effective at clouding judgment. No thanks. 

Bet you anything that it'll never happen either. I suspect I missed out on the stages and aspects of socialization that enable romantic love.


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## Agricola

I don't think I have ever really been in love. Even when I had a long-term relationship (a little over a year) with a girl in college I don't think I really loved her. I know it sounds bad but even though I was physically attracted to her and had fun hanging out with her I don't think I loved her. In fact, toward the end of the relationship I found her personality less and less attractive so that by the time we broke up I didn't feel very bad about it and was somewhat glad it was over since it really wasn't going anywhere. 

One day I would like to fall in love but I hope it is with the right person who will love me back.


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## Maverick34

Empty


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## AquarianHorse

I'm starting to believe love isn't real. Just a fantasy. I never had a boyfriend, dated, etc or anything.


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## EMPx

I have never loved or been loved. Hurt & Pain. Mild depression. Confusion. Self confliction. Unable to feel anything....


I feel I'm too old for that stuff now anyway.


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## bbarn

i'm not really sure. I'm talking about being in love with someone not being loved by someone.


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## Evo1114

I actually don't really think about it. Actually I have no idea if I have ever felt like romantic love. Is it something you KNOW you'd feel? I've dated people for several months before, but when we broke up I was never too heartbroken. Like actually I think I was more disappointed about not having regular sex anymore, more than anything. I would guess that would mean I wasn't really 'in love'.

I love my nieces and nephew and they love me...that's all that matters to me at this point in my life. Like finding romantic love would just be a 'bonus' type of thing. I'll be fine with or without it.


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## Schmosby

I think love is just a feeling our brains give us to get us to breed, I don't think love is a great component of a relationship, it makes you behave irrationally, it hurts, it's just not great. You should count yourself lucky i would say.


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## pianist

I replied the first time you posted this with a quote from Hamlet. This time ... with more experience...

If asked if I would move away with you? Yes I would move to another state with you, without hesitation.. 

I think about you every single second of the day I'm able with a warm hearth in my body...

a simple touch to my forearm could end all the heartache I've ever felt....

and so on.


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## Quatermass

I've been in love a few times, but as far as I know it's never been mutual. The truth is I'm not a great catch. I'd probably end up being a burden.


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## soulstorm

I was in love once, but I don't think it was mutual either. And the results were quite painful. Although we were dating and I received affection from her, it took me years to get over it. If you haven't felt the rejection only love can bring, consider yourself fortunate, IMO.


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## ilsr

same here. maybe four times in my life had a crush


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## EMPx

Love, S**, Relationships are all over stated. 


Can I just add I'm picking up a lot of emotional here on this topic among other things. 


Cheer up everybody. Not as bad as it seems. 


I know it can feel like there a piece missing to your life. Where all the emotion originates from. Biological requirements etc...


There is more to life than such things. These things are but one small part....


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## shwoop

To love someone is to give them the power to destroy your life but trusting them not to do so.


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## Maverick34

shwoop said:


> To love someone is to give them the power to destroy your life but trusting them not to do so.


True


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## ThatOneFoxyFox

From what I've been seeing I'm not the only swan in a pond full of ducks, I have others like me. I have never, ever felt love and this is completely true. Even in my childhood I never felt love. I was constantly confused because I never truly cared for anything or anyone. I thought maybe I just hadn't found the right one, maybe I was pansexual, maybe I was something else. I turned out to be none of those things. Anyway, onto what I really came here to post. "Happiness" and other joyous moods are quite rare for me, they always feel oddly fuzzy. Without love, I feel strangely hollow. It's awful too because I understand I'm the only member of my family to ever be this way, or at least from what I know. Being someone who can't feel love isn't fun.


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## cubsfandave

It feels great!


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## Norea

I think I am incapable of feeling loved, my mind rejects it but yet my heart craves it beyond anything else. So I continue to seek it.
I am in a relationship and he says he loves me but I can't believe him nor can I feel it. I can give love myself, a lot actually but mostly to animals. Animals are so easy to love.
Maybe our idea of what love is supposed to be is corrupted by movies and books etc. Creating an idea of love, that its magical, conquering all and eternal while in reality it's not all that special.


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## GibberingMaw

I'm in the same boat here, never had any kind of relationship or ever been in love. So don't worry, your not alone.


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## hypestyle

Just found out that a woman I had a mild crush on has a boyfriend. She's friendly towards me but that's it.
I'm crestfallen. I'm glad that I never approached her with the intent of dating. it would not have ended well for me, lol. 

It just sucks to never have had that kind of interaction or dating relationship that was brought to an emotionally close level. I grudgingly accept it but it sucks.


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## tehuti88

Saddening and lonely and like I'm hideous and broken. But probably for the best, considering that nobody will ever love me in return.

Seems like every guy I start to get a crush on ends up in a relationship with somebody prettier and sexier and more interesting, anyway. :sigh


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## Notebook

Horrible, absolutely horrible. I don't feel human.


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## DustyShinigami

Only been in love once to the point that it made me love sick. And then I was rejected. Since then I've never been in love and I doubt I will. I suspect I'm aromantic.


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## twitchy666

*nobody's been in that vacuum*

you have to be there to know it

I have


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## dragneel803

*Same here.*

I don't think I have experienced being in love either. Sometimes, I wonder if I am missing out on something that could be great. Who knows? I can't really talk to guys, so I think it may be a while before I could experience anything. For now, all I could do is look forward to a positive future created by me, where I may or may not have a significant other. I just want to be happy. If I am happy alone, then I think that's all I need. :smile2:


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