# Looking for your soulmate?



## Shygirl427 (May 25, 2008)

Or the One? 
Is there a difference between finding your soulmate and the one, are they one in the same? Which would you prefer?

Sorry for those who will not understand this reference but _Think Pacey vs. Dawson_

*My opinion*: I think there is a difference between the two.(eleborate later) after I see everyone else's opinion on the matter.


----------



## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

i dont think there is 'the one' out there. its more 'the ones'.


----------



## quiet0lady (Sep 29, 2009)

nubly said:


> i dont think there is 'the one' out there. its more 'the ones'.


I agree. Or at least I hope it works that way, it would definitely increase my chances of finding the right person.


----------



## Hadron92 (Apr 17, 2009)

I doubt there is anyone in the world who fits the criteria of my "soulmate". I'm just too weird to have something in common with anyone else.


----------



## Emptyheart (Sep 15, 2009)

Hadron said:


> I doubt there is anyone in the world who fits the criteria of my "soulmate". I'm just too weird to have something in common with anyone else.


Same here lol!
You can never find someone Who fits like a puzzle peice.


----------



## Thomas Paine (Mar 29, 2008)

Hadron said:


> I doubt there is anyone in the world who fits the criteria of my "soulmate". I'm just too weird to have something in common with anyone else.





Emptyheart said:


> Same here lol!
> You can never find someone Who fits like a puzzle peice.


You are both like 17 or 18. How would you even know this yet? :b


----------



## jellybelly (May 10, 2009)

I came across a quote about soulmates yesterday. It's from the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and I found it at the Livejournal community literaryquotes, http://community.livejournal.com/literaryquotes/7693357.html.

_"And please don't laugh at me now, but I think the reason it's so hard for me to get over this guy is because I seriously believed that David was my soul mate."

"He probably was. Your problem is you don't understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can't let this one go. It's over, Groceries. David's purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of that marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it. That was his job, and he did great, but now it's over. Problem is, you can't accept that this relationship had a real short shelf life. You're like a dog at the dump, baby - you're just lickin' at an empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it. And if you're not careful, that can's gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. So just drop it."_

I'm not sure if I believe in 'soul mates' or 'the one' but I suppose 'the one' is the one you're supposed to be with forever/as a life partner (though I think there's more likely to be mulitple 'ones' lol) whereas soul mates have a big impact on you, but you're not supposed to be with them which is rather bittersweet.


----------



## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)

They are different. Soul mates--- don't exist. (in my opinion)
"The One" --- in the sense of a predetermined mate (which is basically the same thing as soulmate) doesnt' exist.

but I do say "the one" in terms of just the one that I end up with. Not a predetermined person, just the person who I happen to end up with. He's "The One" for me. "the one" I want to spend the rest of my life with.


----------



## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

I am looking for a connection. The one that makes my heart leap a little whenever I see him. I want an understanding of heart and mind. I didn't think I was, and i didn't want to, but i guess I must face the fact that I am. I will be searching for the rest of my life.

Even at 45, I believe it is possible. Likely? No. but i think it does exist. I don't expect that person to be perfect, but i do expect them to be perfect _for me_.

My mother was right, I think. She's always said that no one is meant to be alone. Even those who say that they are meant to be alone belie the truth in their attitudes about it.

Or maybe, if people are very lucky, all it amounts to is that they just happen to think someone is their soulmate, and the other sees them the same way, a pure coincidence. I don't know. But, if I can't have it, if I don't come across some such person I feel that way about, I would rather be alone.

I don't think there is any hard and fast definition to such terms. we can only bring our own perceptions and feelings to these things. they will probably mean something a little different to each of us.


----------



## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

I don't believe in soul mates.


----------



## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

jellybelly said:


> I came across a quote about soulmates yesterday. It's from the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and I found it at the Livejournal community literaryquotes, http://community.livejournal.com/literaryquotes/7693357.html.
> 
> _"And please don't laugh at me now, but I think the reason it's so hard for me to get over this guy is because I seriously believed that David was my soul mate."_
> 
> ...


I dont know if that is a soul mate or not but it makes a lot of sense. I had the same thing happen to me earlier this year. Was the most incredible thing and then it was over. Tried to keep it but it just wasnt going to work. Set me free from the life I was stuck in, as it did for her too. 
So whatever that person is talking about exists.


----------



## Kelly (Dec 12, 2003)

I am a constantly changing person. How could I expect anyone else to fit me for the rest of my life? I don't even know who I'm going to be for the rest of my life. :sigh

Have a nice day,
Kelly


----------



## meowgirl (Aug 24, 2009)

I think not everyone has a soulmate, but they are out there:duck


----------



## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

nubly said:


> i dont think there is 'the one' out there. its more 'the ones'.


:agree


----------



## Thomas Paine (Mar 29, 2008)

If you find somebody who you believe is the one for the rest of your life and still believe it on your deathbed, then they really were the one. But if you believe you are never going to find the one, or that "the one" is just a myth, then you obviously never will find them.


----------



## Iced Soul (Jan 28, 2009)

Kelly said:


> I am a constantly changing person. How could I expect anyone else to fit me for the rest of my life? I don't even know who I'm going to be for the rest of my life. :sigh
> 
> Have a nice day,
> Kelly


That's what I was thinking.
Plus, I just don't think I'll ever find anyone who really suits me. I'm so weird, random, and spontaneous. Most guys would think I'm insane.
I'm optimistic, though.


----------



## xerwb2 (Aug 5, 2009)

I like to think these sort of things exist. But I know they probably don't. I mean the chance of someone having the same combination of interests/tastes and a similar personality is vanishingly small.


----------



## Indigo Flow (Oct 3, 2009)

If there was "the one" it would be really hard to find him out of 6 billion people (6 billion is the world's population isn't it?)


----------



## Thomas Paine (Mar 29, 2008)

Why does everyone seem to think that "the one" means someone who is perfect? All you have to do is decide that this is the person I'm going to stay committed to, and then they become the one, through thick and thin. I think this is lost on most people though. Most people have a reverse way of thinking about it anymore. You think if your SO shows any flaws at all, you're gonna have to leave them and find somebody fresh instead of helping them work through it. But then that new person starts showing flaws, and so on, and so on.

The way I've always thought of it was that you make a decision that somebody is "the one", and then you never abandon them unless they abandon you. In which case, you would realize that they weren't really "the one". But the point is that there are much fewer breakups/divorce/broken dreams if you find someone amazing (to you) and decide that you are willing to tell this person that they are the one (aka "I love you" or "will you marry me?"), AND STICK WITH IT when it inevitably gets tough.


----------



## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

I never look. I would like to experience a love relationship sometime in my life, though (on the condition it does not cause misery), rather than something like the shallow ones I've had.


----------



## Hadron92 (Apr 17, 2009)

Thomas Paine said:


> You are both like 17 or 18. How would you even know this yet? :b


As I'm sure you'll agree, one is only as old as he feels (though for some reason, this saying is mostly used by "older" people. go figure :b). And although I'm technically 17, I have a lot more in common with 70 year olds than with teenagers of my own age. In certain areas of life (not all) I have much more experience than probably most 30 year olds. But then again, this area is not relationships, so perhaps you have a point there.

On second thought though, I think I'm with Shauna The Dead - I don't believe in soulmates either...


----------



## Thomas Paine (Mar 29, 2008)

Hadron said:


> As I'm sure you'll agree, one is only as old as he feels (though for some reason, this saying is mostly used by "older" people. go figure :b). And although I'm technically 17, I have a lot more in common with 70 year olds than with teenagers of my own age. In certain areas of life (not all) I have much more experience than probably most 30 year olds. But then again, this area is not relationships, so perhaps you have a point there.
> 
> On second thought though, I think I'm with Shauna The Dead - I don't believe in soulmates either...


Just wait lol... college is full of soul mates.


----------



## veryalone (Aug 26, 2009)

Hadron said:


> As I'm sure you'll agree, one is only as old as he feels (though for some reason, this saying is mostly used by "older" people. go figure :b). And although I'm technically 17, I have a lot more in common with 70 year olds than with teenagers of my own age. In certain areas of life (not all) I have much more experience than probably most 30 year olds. But then again, this area is not relationships, so perhaps you have a point there.
> 
> On second thought though, I think I'm with Shauna The Dead - I don't believe in soulmates either...


Lol, you are 17 years old...you don't have much experience in anything. Sorry to burst your bubble there, buddy. :b


----------



## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

SAS is where you find your soulmate.


----------



## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

rdrr said:


> SAS is where you find your soulmate.


Looks like it came from a fortune cookie


----------



## Thomas Paine (Mar 29, 2008)

Thomas Paine said:


> Just wait lol... college is full of soul mates.





somethinginthewind said:


> LOL! Not to my experience, ugh.


LOL, me either, but that's obviously because _our_ souls were waiting to meet! :yes

If your boyfriend reads this tell him I am totally serious because I'm from Kansas and we have no sarcasm skills.


----------



## polardude18 (Oct 13, 2009)

I do believe in soul mates, in my opinion there is someone for everyone, but not everyone is lucky enough to find that person.


----------



## DitzyDreamer (Jun 10, 2008)

Thomas Paine said:


> Just wait lol... college is full of soul mates.


Idk about that....

I don't think there is such thing as a soul mate. Although I would like to believe there is someone out there for me and everyone else, statistically speaking, there just can't possibly be. Plus, these abstract entities called "relationships" have been cheapened to meaningless one-night stands and so-called 'marriages' usually end within a short period of time. I hate to sound pessimistic, but I just don't believe in "soul mates" or "the one", though I would like to.

If there isn't someone out there [for me], I'm still going to live my life! Travel the world, enjoy many different hobbies, pursue a fulfilling (and hopefully lucrative) career, and be a single parent to b/g twins (via artificial insemination of course.  ).

The problem with society is that people are expected to have that "one"/"soulmate" and if they don't, their life cannot be complete which is BS. You can still live a fulfilling life without with, or at least I think so.


----------



## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

As Samantha on Sex and the City said, "I've had hundreds."


----------



## Thomas Paine (Mar 29, 2008)

somethinginthewind said:


> LOL! You're bad. :wife


Why does everyone tell me that?


----------



## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

I believe there's lots of people that we're compatible with on different levels i dont believe in a one that is perfect on all levels because human beings aren't perfect,except for me


----------



## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

Thomas Paine said:


> LOL, me either, but that's obviously because _our_ souls were waiting to meet! :yes
> 
> If your boyfriend reads this tell him I am totally serious because I'm from Kansas and we have no sarcasm skills.


LOL, smooth


----------



## zomgz (Aug 17, 2009)

veryalone said:


> Lol, you are 17 years old...you don't have much experience in anything. Sorry to burst your bubble there, buddy. :b


wow that was rudeeee

anyway.. i believe in soul mates


----------



## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

zomgz said:


> wow that was rudeeee
> 
> anyway.. i believe in soul mates


Some people do have them I think. I mean there have been people married happily for life, and people who fell in love and also loved each other deeply. I think if you love your partner from the heart, and not just about being in love, it is a soul mate.


----------



## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

nubly said:


> i dont think there is 'the one' out there. its more 'the ones'.


:ditto

And you'll only find "the ones" (or more like they'll seek you) when you are confident in yourself - when you love yourself. If you recall from chemistry class: "like likes like!"


----------



## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

Keith said:


> I believe there's lots of people that we're compatible with on different levels i dont believe in a one that is perfect on all levels because human beings aren't perfect,except for me


I agree. Except for that last part, I'm the perfect one.


----------



## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

rdrr said:


> SAS is where you find your soulmate.


I agree with you. SAS is hookup city for single SA sufferers. I met my girlfriend here and i think/hope she's the one.

I could name a bunch of people who met a significant other at SAS.


----------



## mind_games (Nov 30, 2008)

nubly said:


> i dont think there is 'the one' out there. its more 'the ones'.





Thomas Paine said:


> Why does everyone seem to think that "the one" means someone who is perfect? All you have to do is decide that this is the person I'm going to stay committed to, and then they become the one, through thick and thin. I think this is lost on most people though. Most people have a reverse way of thinking about it anymore. You think if your SO shows any flaws at all, you're gonna have to leave them and find somebody fresh instead of helping them work through it. But then that new person starts showing flaws, and so on, and so on.
> 
> The way I've always thought of it was that you make a decision that somebody is "the one", and then you never abandon them unless they abandon you. In which case, you would realize that they weren't really "the one". But the point is that there are much fewer breakups/divorce/broken dreams if you find someone amazing (to you) and decide that you are willing to tell this person that they are the one (aka "I love you" or "will you marry me?"), AND STICK WITH IT when it inevitably gets tough.


I agrees with both of you.


----------



## IThinkIAmMe (Aug 18, 2009)

bah, soulmates
I would feel sorry for my soulmate if (s)he existed, how unlucky would they be to be stuck with me for the rest of their life, I would drive them insane LOL


----------



## Thomas Paine (Mar 29, 2008)

IThinkIAmMe said:


> bah, soulmates
> I would feel sorry for my soulmate if (s)he existed, how unlucky would they be to be stuck with me for the rest of their life, I would drive them insane LOL


"_Some of them want to abuse you_ / _Some of them want to be abused_" lol


----------



## TATA (Sep 18, 2008)

I don't believe in soul mates, don't believe in the one or the ones either. I used to though. 
But I'm hoping that I will find someone who will be good for me and who i'll be good for.


----------



## Thomas Paine (Mar 29, 2008)

Mine had to move to Florida with her parents when we were like 12-13. I still get butterflies thinking about her sometimes.


----------



## Hadron92 (Apr 17, 2009)

veryalone said:


> Lol, you are 17 years old...you don't have much experience in anything. Sorry to burst your bubble there, buddy. :b


Your like totally right gran!!! cuz...like, no one ain't got no experience at such a young age, innit!?:b
　
Sorry for being such a naughty boy... :no


----------



## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

Quote from Thomas Paine: 
All you have to do is decide that this is the person I'm going to stay committed to, and then they become the one. 

I like that.


----------



## Daxter (Feb 4, 2009)

Part of the fun of love is that they are in many ways different from you.

There's no fate-like soulmate, that's just delusional nonsense. There are plenty of good people for you out there, it's just so bloody hard to find them so we like to say corny things about soulmates and 'the one'.


----------

