# Some people are too ugly for love



## Com1 (May 27, 2012)

Simple as that.


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## MrGilligan (Apr 29, 2012)

I don't think so... I watch those discovery health channel shows about horribly deformed people, and a lot of them have spouses.... Love is about a hell of a lot more than appearance.


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## Chirp (May 27, 2012)

MrGilligan said:


> Love is about a hell of a lot more than appearance.


This.


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## Com1 (May 27, 2012)

Those people never find love, only pity and desperation.


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## ChangeInProgress (Apr 23, 2012)

When love is there, ugly doesn't exist.


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## DesertStar91 (Feb 1, 2012)

ChangeInProgress said:


> When love is there, ugly doesn't exist.


Exactly. I agree, all the way.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

ChangeInProgress said:


> When love is there, ugly doesn't exist.


And such a beautiful comment comes out of this thread.

Well said.


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## Com1 (May 27, 2012)

ChangeInProgress said:


> When love is there, ugly doesn't exist.


Ugly people can't be loved.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

Com1 said:


> Ugly people can't be loved.


I am sorry you believe that. This world is full of amazing unique people looking for different things. So much more to people than the surface. And if that is all you are look at then you wont find love.


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## Com1 (May 27, 2012)

I've always looked at everything. But i am properly HIDEOUS. Unless you become a hideous freak that's constantly rejected and mocked because of your looks you have no idea what I'm talking about.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

I don't think I will know. We have two different outlooks on life and will never see a situation the same. Even if we were in the exact same shoes. 

Hope you find love


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Com1 said:


> I've always looked at everything. But i am properly HIDEOUS. *Unless you become a hideous freak that's constantly rejected and mocked because of your looks you have no idea what I'm talking about.*


You will find your female equivalent. Problem solved.


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## Venkska (Oct 29, 2011)

Everyone can find love. Simple as that.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

pics plz


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## Ashley1990 (Aug 27, 2011)

_That they love the one that dnt find u attractive but others whom u r not interested in ask u for movie every week daily tell u that u look smart n hot.._

_But just not him_

_...whys isnt he him....._


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## Resonance (Feb 11, 2010)

No they aren't, they can just date blind people. 

Sorted, next!


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

Resonance said:


> No they aren't, they can just date blind people.
> 
> Sorted, next!


Love is blind. :b


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## LucasVandal (May 25, 2012)

Ugly people can be loved. Ugly personalities can't. If you go around thinking ugly people can never be loved then that makes your personality ugly.


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

The Jerry Springer show and the the Jeremy Kyle show disagree with you op.


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## Aaron0 (Feb 7, 2012)

Love is blind. I don't think physical appearance has anything to do with it. But yeah someone people will end up being alone there entire life. It it's just childish and naive to think that we live in a perfect world where everyone finds there soul mate and lives happily ever after.

So people just end up alone because they never find that someone that actually compliments them and makes them happy and some people settle because they feel they need someone.


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## CyclingSoPhob (Apr 8, 2008)

Well there are a lot of shallow people, just read the forums at Plenty of Fish. Won't date an overweight person, won't date a bald person, teeth aren't quite right, you get the idea. But you know what, the shallow people making those comments are truly ugly. If I found out a female I was interested in was shallow like this I would lose interest immediately.

Just as an experiment the op should go into Walmart and observe couples for about an hour. There's all kinds of people together.


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## Meatloaf (Mar 26, 2012)

We didn't have a choice how we "look" our features, we were all involved in a lottery called DNA some won and some lost, some of the "uglyist" people have the best personalities and are the friendlyist.

If I saw the most beautiful physically attractive woman in the world and she had a horrible personality I wouldn't want to be with her if her personality is horrible and replusive - I place higher value on personality than I do looks, ANY DAY.


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## Com1 (May 27, 2012)

At no point in this thread id I claim all ugly people are unlovable, I said SOME people are too ugly for love. And that IS a fact. The Elephant man died a virgin and he was part of high-class society in his later years. Some people can be so ugly no one wants them, some people's looiks get so bad their personality doesn't matter (Susan Boyle for example).


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## gomenne (Oct 3, 2009)

Com1 said:


> Ugly people can't be loved.


No of course they cant be loved, nobody wants to date an ugly person. Good looks are everything in this life, it's more powerful than money.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

I don't like being gratuitously negative (okay, I do :teeth), but I think some of the sayings out there are damaging because they give false hope. Some people, especially those who are disadvantaged in areas like looks, social confidence, and so on, really do have a lower probability of finding love. Some people never find it.

Having good looks or a confident social personality is like a 'hook' used to gain a foothold, which can eventually lead to love. (And contrary to popular belief, it isn't wrong to be attracted to 'shallow' traits like looks or popularity. It is rarely a conscious decision to be attracted to those things. Everyone is attracted to SOME trait at first, but it can then develop into something greater.) Those who can gain a foothold obviously have a greater chance of finding love than those who can't gain a foothold. So if your looks or social confidence are such that they appeal to very few people, you are obviously going to have a lower chance of finding love.

But as people have said, lacking one of these traits isn't the end of the world. There are many ways of meeting people, and circumstances can deliver someone to you in unexpected ways. But I think it's counterproductive to tell people that they will eventually find someone no matter what they look like. Finding someone takes work, especially for those disadvantaged people, and the first step in this process is accepting the reality of the situation so that you know what steps to take, instead of banking on luck to bring someone to you. These people should instead be encouraged to take concrete steps to fix their problem.

EDIT: Looking over my post, maybe I'm reading too much into the situation. Or maybe not. Whatever.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

This is how I feel a lot of the time.


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## northstar1991 (Oct 4, 2011)

I disagree. A lot more goes into a relationship than just looks.


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

northstar1991 said:


> I disagree. A lot more goes into a relationship than just looks.


It still plays a vital part, if one person isn't attractive to the person, that person will probably not consider them?


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## Chirp (May 27, 2012)

Dissonance said:


> It still plays a vital part, if one person isn't attractive to the person, that person will probably not consider them?


If you're not attracted to somebody, I can see why it'd be very difficult to have a sexual relationship with them.

But the word 'ugly' is rather subjective, don't you think? A person you may think is the most hideous looking creature on the planet, could be an absolute beauty to somebody else. I've dated guys that all of my friends thought were pretty ugly in the past, but I didn't care, I thought they looked great, and that's all that should matter.

I find it hard to believe that there's anybody in the world that's actually "too ugly for love," but maybe that's just me being overly optimistic here. But as stated numerous times in this thread, looks really aren't everything in a relationship anyway.


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## Selbbin (Aug 10, 2010)

I think I'm ugly in that inner beauty kind of way. Girls get attracted to me for some reason (and if you've seen my pic you'd be just as surprised as me). Looking at the shiny skin of this delicious apple they want to bite, only to find out that I'm rotten.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I think I'm just going to forget about it. Honestly, not worth worrying about. 

If a girl likes me, that's great. If she doesn't, that's great, too. 

I have enough in my life to keep me occupied, than worrying about if some girl is shallow or not.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

northstar1991 said:


> I disagree. A lot more goes into a relationship than just looks.


Unfortunately it's a huge part of it. It's too bad male brains (mine included) are wired to think that way. If we didn't care so much about looks, then life would be a lot easier. However, I can't choose to stop caring about looks anymore than a gay guy can choose to be straight, so I will be distracted by hot girls for the rest of my life.


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## jgentle (May 23, 2012)

you see its all an illusion, you can change it


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## ejmafive (May 16, 2012)

well i must say that some people are too beautiful, too perfect and too smart that no one even dared to loved them. you must take everything in balance. i guess it depends on how we tweak are own personalities...


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## caughtinthematrix (Jan 11, 2008)

ChangeInProgress said:


> When love is there, ugly doesn't exist.


spot on


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Com1 said:


> Ugly people can't be loved.


I am probably one of the most hopeless people on here and I don't believe this either.


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## Frunktubulus (Jan 8, 2012)

Larry King's been married 7 times and look at the bloke,







Mick Jagger's a sex symbol and he looks like a mummified sea creature.
Love is weird, its existence can't be pinned down to any single purpose.


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## Loveless (Apr 6, 2012)

Looks make it hard for someone ugly to find love but not impossible. Hard and impossible are very different. Heck I may call myself Loveless and I may act hopeless and make everything look bleak but even I believe in my black heart of hearts it'll happen.


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## erasercrumbs (Dec 17, 2009)

Being ugly is a rough thing, but it's not always a disability. Some people are born with enough innate confidence and a natural swagger that causes a negative appearance to not affect them too adversely. But for sensitive souls, being born ugly is a kick in the ribs that you never recover from. 

I would bet money I'm the ugliest person on this forum, and one of the moral quandaries of being as ugly as I am is that if I met someone with a heart big enough to overlook my physical shortcomings, they would automatically deserve someone better than me, and so I'd constantly feel guilty about their affection. It's an ethical conundrum.

But I've become comfortable with the idea of being alone for the rest of my life. It makes me sad sometimes, but perhaps it's for the best this way--if not for me, then for the person I would share my life with.


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## b0m (Oct 1, 2011)

I think the problem lies within inner ugliness, not as much as the outer one..


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Men are programmed to want to have sex with women who would ensure that his offspring survives (women who are attractive tend to have features that facilitate easy childbirth and better child rearing) and his DNA lives on. Women are programmed to want to have sex with the male with the best DNA she can possibly get. Since the man is able to reproduce a hell of a lot more, he isn't as picky about quality though. That's why even undesirable women can "get laid" very easily and there are no social rewards for women who are promiscuous, only penalties (**** shaming). Since its harder for men to get laid, there are social rewards for doing so ("stud" "the man").

That's just how it is. Men have more testosterone than women and tend to be more promiscuous as a result. So we get sexually frustrated when we don't get any in awhile or not often enough. Women may be frustrated if their significant other doesn't give it enough to them. But they aren't as desperate to go find some guy to have sex with. Because they are programmed to go for quality over quantity. When their ovaries are near their expiration date or they get lonely and the desire for male companionship is strong, many women "settle" out of desperation. If they want to have kids that is.


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## Com1 (May 27, 2012)

It's sickening. The entire human race is worthless. As an ugly male with no social standing my life isn't even worth living and I hate absolutely everything as a result.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Com1 said:


> It's sickening. The entire human race is worthless. As an ugly male with no social standing my life isn't even worth living and I hate absolutely everything as a result.


at the end of the day humans are animals and that is the way of the animal kingdom. Just be thankful that we have civilization. The other animals aren't any better.


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## Com1 (May 27, 2012)

Yeah, what a great "civilisation" we have. It only seems good because we have nothing else to compare it to.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

So true. I hate having to resign myself to the fact that I am simply too ugly for any guy and will thus be alone forever, and will never fulfill my dreams of getting married and having children. Unfortunately, this means i'm going to have to cope with being miserable for the rest of my life.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

arnie said:


> Unfortunately it's a huge part of it. It's too bad male brains (mine included) are wired to think that way. If we didn't care so much about looks, then life would be a lot easier. However, I can't choose to stop caring about looks anymore than a gay guy can choose to be straight, so I will be distracted by hot girls for the rest of my life.


Yeah. It's unfortunate.


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## sonicrainboom (Apr 11, 2010)

I have heard that being too good looking can make it hard to find love too.


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## arpeggiator (Jan 6, 2011)

I've accepted I am going to be alone for a long time, being ugly or repulsive doesn't bother me anymore. Maybe I'll find a woman in my 30s or 40s who is willing to settle down for a guy like me. Or not.


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## gomenne (Oct 3, 2009)

Com1 said:


> It's sickening. The entire human race is worthless. As an ugly male with no social standing my life isn't even worth living and I hate absolutely everything as a result.


It's the same for me. It's miserable to live as an ugly person, only good looking people have can live in this society.
I have resigned myself to knowing that I'm going to live the rest of my life alone. Like how few people did here.
If you are ugly in this world you can not form relationships, thus can't get married and have a family, can't have a decent job, cant have enough money to live comfortable, cant do anything but live in misery.


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## gomenne (Oct 3, 2009)

arnie said:


> Unfortunately it's a huge part of it. It's too bad male brains (mine included) are wired to think that way. If we didn't care so much about looks, then life would be a lot easier. However, I can't choose to stop caring about looks anymore than a gay guy can choose to be straight, so I will be distracted by hot girls for the rest of my life.


This is a sad and hurtful truth, but at least you are brave enough to admit that guys are superficial unlike most males in here.


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## strugglingforhope (Jun 13, 2009)

I think everyone goes off looks to some degree, but if you follow looks too much you'll miss other things in a partner that are more important for a relationship like compatibility, kindness, intelligence, belief systems, things in common, ect. Realistically most (not all) of our fear of dating ugly people is based on how other's will treat/respect us because of that choice; the hardest thing to do is getting past what society expects us to do and not worrying about how society compares us to others - although I think it might be impossible to do that completely. The thing is we can all do it to some degree.

Personally when it comes to looks for me I try to only let myself judge when it's something I feel the other person can control - to me the reality is most people can work/sacrifice to become fairly fit and be at least reasonably attractive if they are that. If they can't see that the average american lifestyle/diet isn't a healthy diet; I don't think I'd have respect for them. I make my own sacrifices to look my best and be healthy, I wouldn't think it was fair if the person I was with didn't respect me in that way and didn't make any sacrifices themselves. With all that being said there are still other ways to make up for a person lacking in being physically attractive, it will just make it more difficult.


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## missalyssa (Jun 18, 2011)

In faith, I do not love thee with mine eyes;
For they in thee a thousand errors note.
But 'tis my heart that loves what they despise;
Who in despite of view is pleased to dote.
~ Shakespeare


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## Com1 (May 27, 2012)

stopitidontlikeit said:


> I have heard that being too good looking can make it hard to find love too.


Yeah, because it makes you judgemental and unfaithful. But it's much easier to find someone that will look passed personality defects.


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## BoBooBoo (May 15, 2012)

Count me in on being another one who knows they will be alone for life. I've given up on trying to make myself look good for someone. I stopped with the make-up (makes my face itch anyway), don't dress up (shorts/t-shirt, jeans/sweatshirts is normal attire for me) and I've given up on the being the "perfect" weight. I lost a huge amount sometime back, reactivated my Match.com profile with a new "perfect" weight picture of me. And had absolutely nobody contact me, neither did anybody reply to what I sent out. 

It's a huge blow to the self-esteem. I've given up trying to fit in to what society says "pretty" people should look like and wear. I'm resigned to living the rest of my life alone. I've got bad enough depression, I don't need more rejection making it worse. 

If someone comes along and they don't mind me just the way I am. I'll take it.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

I have seen a very unattractive woman manage to jump from boyfriend to boyfriend to boyfriend. And unattractive guys get lucky too.

The core problem for guys with SA is that we have trouble relating with women. The vast majority of the time when I look at a girl's dating site profile, I find little motivation to ask/talk about any of her interests or hobbies. I mainly message girls if I think they're cute. It's rare that I meet a girl I genuinely enjoy talking to as much as I do my guy friends. It's easier for me to relate to guys.


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## Com1 (May 27, 2012)

I know it's because oft looks. Whatever those people looked like I bet it was better than me. Some people ARE just plain ugly and disgusting. Some people are so ugly the best they can ever hope for is people laughing at them behind their backs (rather than in their face).


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## Northern Lights (Jul 22, 2010)

ChangeInProgress said:


> When love is there, ugly doesn't exist.


Thanks! 
You're absolutely correct!


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

Yup I happen to be one of those people.


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

> Some people are too ugly for *sex*.


That's more accurate.

Love has nothing to do with your appearance. It's about how you feel towards someone emotionally. But there are a lot of guys out there that can't find sex, so they act as though women _hate_ them or that they're completely _unlovable_ because of it. Nonsense. Just because a woman may not want to sleep with you doesn't mean she dislikes you. It just means there's no sexual attraction. That same women could easily love you, even if it was just platonic, so long as you were pleasant towards her and spent enough time together as friends.


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

Rainbat said:


> That's more accurate.
> 
> Love has nothing to do with your appearance. It's about how you feel towards someone emotionally. But there are a lot of guys out there that can't find sex, so they act as though women _hate_ them or that they're completely _unlovable_ because of it. Nonsense. Just because a woman may not want to sleep with you doesn't mean she dislikes you. It just means there's no sexual attraction. That same women could easily love you, even if it was just platonic, so long as you were pleasant towards her and spent enough time together as friends.


Well that really doesn't make it any better...


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

Theory doesn't hold true for people like Rush Limbaugh or Newt Gingrich, for instance, who are as ugly on the inside as they are on the outside.

Never question the psychotic nature of the human race.

Of course, saying all this doesn't help me either. I'm not rich or crazy enough to paper over my deficiencies.

Bah, **** it. Some of us aren't even capable of a platonic relationship and yes, it doesn't make it better.


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

Dissonance said:


> Well that really doesn't make it any better...


Sure it does, friend. It means that there are plenty of gals out there that would love your company, they just may not want to fool around with you in the sack.

There's _nothing_ wrong with that. Stop focusing on what isn't there, and start appreciating what is.


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

Rainbat said:


> Sure it does, friend. It means that there are plenty of gals out there that would love your company, they just may not want to fool around with you in the sack.
> 
> There's _nothing_ wrong with that. Stop focusing on what isn't there, and start appreciating what is.


Meh. No thanks.

Where would that lead me? People befriending me without any interest in me at all? So I just bend over backwards whenever someone just wants to be friends, and the case repeats itself for all women I meet?


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## Toppington (Oct 26, 2011)

Rainbat said:


> Sure it does, friend. It means that there are plenty of gals out there that would love your company, they just may not want to fool around with you in the sack.
> 
> There's _nothing_ wrong with that. Stop focusing on what isn't there, and start appreciating what is.


I definitely wouldn't call that love.


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

Toppington said:


> I definitely wouldn't call that love.


Then you have a poor definition of love. Sex isn't everything.


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

Toppington said:


> I definitely wouldn't call that love.


But just enjoy it, you get to be around all those women, but never actually get intimate with them, mentally or physically.


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## Toppington (Oct 26, 2011)

Rainbat said:


> Then you have a poor definition of love. Sex isn't everything.


Don't start judging me that quickly. I'm wondering if you speak from experience. I highly doubt you'd be quite as eager to prove this theory if you were the person you're speaking of. Would *you* be content in a dedicated relationship with absolutely no sex? While sex isn't everything, it's almost always a big part of being in a serious relationship. How can you honestly say you love someone if you're still basically openly telling them that you think they're too ugly for you?


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

Dissonance said:


> But just enjoy it, you get to be around all those women, but never actually get intimate with them, mentally or physically.


You can be intimate with them mentally and physically. What about cuddling with a female friend? Chatting for hours and having a bunch of fun together? You could feel completely understood, wanted, and content around them. I'd say that's mental/emotional intimacy.

I think it's a shame that you throw out the possibility for that kind of connection entirely because there's no sex involved.


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

Rainbat said:


> You can be intimate with them mentally and physically. What about cuddling with a female friend? Chatting for hours and having a bunch of fun together? You could feel completely understood, wanted, and content around them. I'd say that's mental/emotional intimacy.
> 
> I think it's a shame that you throw out the possibility for that kind of connection entirely because there's no sex involved.


who the hell talks for hours? cuddling? That's basically just giving you mixed messages, that maybe she will finally accept you for you and not being ugly, and might actually consider to take you seriously, but she won't. There are very rare people I enjoy talking to. I just don't want to be friend zoned, it will only hurt me more then it would make me feel better.

Hell I don't even cuddle with my guy friends, are you sure you're just friends with these women?


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

Toppington said:


> Don't start judging me that quickly. I'm wondering if you speak from experience. I highly doubt you'd be quite as eager to prove this theory if you were the person you're speaking of. Would *you* be content in a dedicated relationship with absolutely no sex? While sex isn't everything, it's almost always a big part of being in a serious relationship. How can you honestly say you love someone if you're still basically openly telling them that you think they're too ugly for you?


I think you've misunderstood me. I should have been more specific. I'm not talking about dedicated relationships, I'm talking about loving friendships. Obviously if there's a committed relationship in the "couple" sense then sex would need to be there (some couples get along fine without it, but personally I wouldn't be able to do it). I'm only saying that, if given the opportunity to befriend a girl and get close to her non-sexually, don't turn it down. A platonic relationship can still be a great relationship.


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

Dissonance said:


> who the hell talks for hours? cuddling? That's basically just giving you mixed messages, that maybe she will finally accept you for you and not being ugly, and might actually consider to take you seriously, but she won't. There are very rare people I enjoy talking to. I just don't want to be friend zoned, it will only hurt me more then it would make me feel better.
> 
> Hell I don't even cuddle with my guy friends, are you sure you're just friends with these women?


I don't know. Talking for hours with someone you get along with really well seems plausible to me. And yeah I don't cuddle with my male friends either, only female ones, and it never leads to sex.


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

Rainbat said:


> I don't know. Talking for hours with someone you get along with really well seems plausible to me. And yeah I don't cuddle with my male friends either, only female ones, and it never leads to sex.


I think the circumstances are different, no one would want to cuddle with ugly people unless put in a situation where they have to, do your female friends find you unattractive and have told you that?


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## Toppington (Oct 26, 2011)

Rainbat said:


> I think you've misunderstood me.


Seems that way.



Rainbat said:


> I'm only saying that, if given the opportunity to befriend a girl and get close to her non-sexually, don't turn it down. A platonic relationship can still be a great relationship.


I never would pass it up. But I also don't believe that anyone in the world can be so horribly ugly that absolutely no one is willing to sleep with them. People shouldn't be screwed (pun quite possibly intended) out of such an amazing experience just because they were hit with the ugly stick a few too many times on the way out of the womb. This is coming from someone who considers themselves average in the looks department. I just don't think it's right to tell someone that they're too ugly for sex. No one is going to change anyone's mind though. This _is_ still the internet after all. You have your opinion and I have mine. I'll drop it now.


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

Dissonance said:


> I think the circumstances are different, no one would want to cuddle with ugly people unless put in a situation where they have to, do your female friends find you unattractive and have told you that?


No, they haven't told me that because I've never really brought it up. It's kinda unspoken that there's no sexual attraction there. If you've literally been told that you're unattractive by a friend, I can see how that would suck, but I don't know how that kind of thing would come up. Did a close female friend of yours straight up tell you that you're ugly? Not much of a friend there, man.


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

Rainbat said:


> No, they haven't told me that because I've never really brought it up. It's kinda unspoken that there's no sexual attraction there. If you've literally been told that you're unattractive by a friend, I can see how that would suck, but I don't know how that kind of thing would come up. Did a close female friend of yours straight up tell you that you're ugly? Not much of a friend there, man.


Strange cuddling is not something even I do with female friends. I doubt there is lack of attraction if they are willing to get that close to you without many problems..I usually bring it up and see what the person thinks of me, it's hard for me to tell what a person thinks of me. It doesn't really matter the reality is that most female friends I've encountered are either manipulative, or deal with me because I am a friend of a friend.


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

Toppington said:


> I just don't think it's right to tell someone that they're too ugly for sex.


You're right, I apologize. I'm not trying to insult anyone. I'm just trying to differentiate love and sex here. When I edited the title of the thread, I didn't literally mean that people are too ugly for sex. I'm just sort of poking at the fact that "love" is a very non-superficial thing, but sex is, if that makes sense.


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

Dissonance said:


> Strange cuddling is not something even I do with female friends. I doubt there is lack of attraction if they are willing to get that close to you without many problems..I usually bring it up and see what the person thinks of me, it's hard for me to tell what a person thinks of me. It doesn't really matter the reality is that most female friends I've encountered are either manipulative, or deal with me because I am a friend of a friend.


That's where we differ then. I'm insecure about a lot of things, but I see no good in projecting them. Just because I think there's something unlikable/wrong about me doesn't mean others feel the same way, so I'm not going to put the idea in their head by bringing it up . If you haven't literally been told that they're just "dealing with you" or that you're "ugly", don't tell yourself that it's what they think. I used to do the exact same thing. I'd have an okay friendship with someone, then it would fall apart because I was constantly worrying that they thought little of me. I figured, well if I think little of me then they must feel the same. Not true. You just have to try and convince yourself that everything is alright. Assume the best unless you're explicitly told/shown otherwise.


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

Rainbat said:


> That's where we differ then. I'm insecure about a lot of things, but I see no good in projecting them. Just because I think there's something unlikable/wrong about me doesn't mean others feel the same way, so I'm not going to put the idea in their head by bringing it up . If you haven't literally been told that they're just "dealing with you" or that you're "ugly", don't tell yourself that it's what they think. I used to do the exact same thing. I'd have an okay friendship with someone, then it would fall apart because I was constantly worrying that they thought little of me. I figured, well if I think little of me then they must feel the same. Not true. You just have to try and convince yourself that everything is alright. Assume the best unless you're explicitly told/shown otherwise.


Don't worry it's not insecurity of myself, I just can't stand people who lack intellect or do not show any compassion.


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## merryk (Dec 25, 2008)

CyclingSoPhob said:


> the op should go into Walmart and observe couples for about an hour. There's all kinds of people together.


I've noticed that too. Not sure whether to be inspired or depressed by some of the pairings.


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## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

nice hair, nice clothes, nice physique
any other minor flaws left after that are insignificant
make it happen
gogogo


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I don't know what you look like, but I doubt you're that ugly.


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## Com1 (May 27, 2012)

Rainbat said:


> Sure it does, friend. It means that there are plenty of gals out there that would love your company, they just may not want to fool around with you in the sack.
> 
> There's _nothing_ wrong with that. Stop focusing on what isn't there, and start appreciating what is.


There absolutely is something wrong with that. It mean you're getting USED. She'll go out and screw around with every obnoxious ******* out there and go to you whenever she wants some actual intimacy (in the form of hugs, while she smells of semen). Your girl-friends are laughing at you behind your back.



WintersTale said:


> I don't know what you look like, but I doubt you're that ugly.


You have no reason to doubt that. You know mezzoforte? She wouldn't talk to me on msn anymore once she saw my picture.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Com1 said:


> You have no reason to doubt that. You know mezzoforte? She wouldn't talk to me on msn anymore once she saw my picture.


Are you serious???? I stopped talking to you because I was feeling like **** and completely depressed. Then you raged and signed off. I'm sorry, I should have told you I didn't want to talk, but I feel so helpless and lethargic when I'm depressed. I am not a shallow person, and I would love to talk to you again. I don't ****ing care what you look like. If you have a problem, you can PM me.


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## ijustwanttobemute (Jun 2, 2012)

There's so such thing as ugly. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's hard to love someone who doesn't love themselves. If you want love, you must become love.


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

Com1 said:


> There absolutely is something wrong with that. It mean you're getting USED. She'll go out and screw around with every obnoxious ******* out there and go to you whenever she wants some actual intimacy (in the form of hugs, while she smells of semen). Your girl-friends are laughing at you behind your back.


I'm not being used. It's not like they're running to me for some compassion after they got done being gangbanged. And none of my female friends date those kind of guys. That's some delusional, cynical thinking man.



> (in the form of hugs, while she smells of semen)


Seek help.


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## Com1 (May 27, 2012)

ijustwanttobemute said:


> There's so such thing as ugly. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's hard to love someone who doesn't love themselves. If you want love, you must become love.


Lies.


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## Com1 (May 27, 2012)

Rainbat said:


> I'm not being used. It's not like they're running to me for some compassion after they got done being gangbanged. And none of my female friends date those kind of guys. That's some delusional, cynical thinking man.
> 
> Seek help.


Are you a psychiatrist? Don't tell people o get help when you don't have a ****ing clue what you're talking about. I can be s bitter and angry as I want, I have every reason. You're not as ugly as I am so you'll never understand.


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## Loveless (Apr 6, 2012)

Rainbat let's just say that if I wasn't trying to behave on here my words would be much more harsher. But if you think people are too ugly for sex and suggest that "non-good Looking" people should just cuddle with their friends and let them selves get used and abused. I hope someone like you gets used and abused because that kind of line of thinking shows the type of person you are. I don't care how freakin' ugly I am I will get the girl I want. Maybe people who are "ugly" shouldn't be judged by numbskulls like yourself. Seriously. People like you are why i don't socialize.


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## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

Dear OP,
I hope you're feeling better after reading this thread. Even people missing literally half a face, people with no legs, people with burns head to toe, people who just look funny from birth.... I've seen all the above with a wife or a husband. It happens. Love doesn't happen to hurtful people because they're too busy hating everybody or hating themselves.... that's all. I'm 22 and this is my opinion/contribution.

good luck


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

Loveless said:


> Rainbat let's just say that if I wasn't trying to behave on here my words would be much more harsher. But if you think people are too ugly for sex and suggest that "non-good Looking" people should just cuddle with their friends and let them selves get used and abused. I hope someone like you gets used and abused because that kind of line of thinking shows the type of person you are. I don't care how freakin' ugly I am I will get the girl I want. Maybe people who are "ugly" shouldn't be judged by numbskulls like yourself. Seriously. People like you are why i don't socialize.





Rainbat said:


> You're right, I apologize. I'm not trying to insult anyone. I'm just trying to differentiate love and sex here. When I edited the title of the thread, I didn't literally mean that people are too ugly for sex. I'm just sort of poking at the fact that "love" is a very non-superficial thing, but sex is, if that makes sense.


I don't know why you're portraying me as this arrogant frat-boy who thinks everyone else is ugly. I cannot stand superficiality, and my post history reflects that (as does my profile). You're the one who's judging me right now, and you've completely missed this post I made explaining why I said what I did. People aren't too ugly for sex in its entirety. People can be too ugly for sex with _certain people_. And what's wrong with that? You have to realize that not every woman on the planet is going to find you sexually attractive. There are tons of women who think I'm ugly, I just don't let it bother me because there are others who disagree with it. Same goes for you. There may be women who think you're too ugly, but there are others that don't. Stop getting so bent out of shape just because a few random chicks don't think you're hot.

And also,



> "non-good Looking" people should just cuddle with their friends and let them selves get used and abused.


This is the thinking I'm talking about. Since when does cuddling with your friend mean you're being _used and abused_? This person does not immediately have some kind of evil, malicious intent because they're not willing to sleep with you. It's not like they're going out to a bunch of clubs and having tons of wild sex, then calling you up to cuddle and watch The Notebook because you're this quintessential "nice-guy" they want to take advantage of. That's nothing but fatalistic, frustrated, and misogynistic thinking. It's one thing to be upset about the fact that you haven't found someone, but it's another entirely to start assuming that every female on the planet who doesn't want to sleep with you is some kind of manipulative *****.



Com1 said:


> Are you a psychiatrist? Don't tell people o get help when you don't have a ****ing clue what you're talking about. I can be s bitter and angry as I want, I have every reason. You're not as ugly as I am so you'll never understand.


I don't need to be a psychiatrist to tell you that you need help. You're telling me that every single one of my female friends is using me and being intimate with me after they've got done being coated in semen. That's warped and couldn't be further from the truth.


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## Knowbody (Jul 5, 2011)

sadly this is probably true


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## Later (May 5, 2011)

Brian Peppers is ugly 

Plus I keep reading so many excuses as to why men on here can't maintain relationships. "because we're too fugly, because women are beaches, because women have it easier, because blah blah blah" it's so immature. Someone said it - it's social anxiety, it's your low self esteem, it's your perception that everything comes easy, but they don't. A rejection probably hurt those with low esteem so much they won't ever do it again, it subconsciously becomes a chore.


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## Donnie in the Dark (Mar 15, 2011)

Com1 said:


> Are you a psychiatrist? Don't tell people o get help when you don't have a ****ing clue what you're talking about. I can be s bitter and angry as I want, I have every reason. You're not as ugly as I am so you'll never understand.


 Maybe you are talking like this to give yourself a get-out clause, so you never have to risk rejection and failure in searching for happiness. You refuse to acknowledge the validity of anyone else's opinion when they point out that whilst being not conventionally attractive can make things difficult, its not the end of the world either. You are accusing the rest of civilisation of being shallow..... but its you who seem to be most focused on outward appearance.


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