# It can get better. Don't give up.



## PF123 (Sep 1, 2019)

For over 10 years I was seeing a bad therapist, that I unfortunately liked and respected. I trusted him and later his colleague, a psychiatrist that managed my meds, with my well being, and I should not have. I'm now under new care, and it is a night and day difference. I still have a ways to go, but it is improving. Please don't assume that if you are not getting better it is your fault.

Here is few signs I overlooked because I was afraid I of being nit picky and needy. I know it's a lot of text but I hope my experience can help somebody else.

1. My therapist would occasionally spend 10-15 minutes at the beginning of our session talking about nothing related to my therapy because I would ask how he was doing at the beginning of our session.

2. My therapist would often a interrupt a discussion to make a joke. Humor in sessions can be good, but I wish I knew that the interruption and subsequent diversion of topic was a boundary test.

3. I often heard him and other members of the staff muttering about other patients. I ignored this because "he was really nice to me." I was foolish enough to think they must have deserved it.

4. Never accept free, off the books-_no record of the session_-therapy. This is not the same a pro bono work. The 16 months I saw my therapist off the books at his suggestion is when he amped up his undermining of me. I was reverted back to suicidal fantasies and off my anti depressants. All because I criticized his colleague the psychiatrist when I thought his behavior was unethical and told my therapist I no longer felt comfortable with the psychiatrist.(He previously told me they were very close.) My therapist then told me how to ween myself off of my medication instead of referring me to another psychiatrist.

5.If a psychiatrist or therapist tries to scare you with "you're going to get sued for slander" find a new doctor ASAP. There is no reason they should assume what is said in a confidential therapy session is being broadcast by the patient in public. They were trying to scare me into silence.

I hope this is helpful to people.


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## PF123 (Sep 1, 2019)

TMI


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## Untitled_Painting (Apr 5, 2020)

Sorry you had to go through that.

I'm going to be needing to look for a therapist and I'm worried I might miss red flags, or ignore them because I have a hard time speaking up when I'm not happy about something.


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## PF123 (Sep 1, 2019)

Thank you, I’m doing better. There are good people out there. The doctor I’m seeing now is a good person. When you start therapy don’t be afraid to switch doctors if your instincts tell you something is off. I ignored mine in the beginning with the previous guy because he’s a professional so I assumed I was being paranoid. My current therapist encourages me to ask questions if I’m not sure what he means or what point he is trying to make –he tells me that is not being needy, over-worrying, or any other self-questioning negative attribute. He wants us to be on the same page. He also encourages my personal boundaries without labeling other people. My previous therapist would pretend to know what other people’s intentions were. My current therapist never does that.
I hope you find someone who is a positive influence in your life. You deserve good things.


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## PF123 (Sep 1, 2019)

*This was originally posted in venting. Moved here by monitor.*

TMI


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## Untitled_Painting (Apr 5, 2020)

PF123 said:


> Thank you, I'm doing better. There are good people out there. The doctor I'm seeing now is a good person. When you start therapy don't be afraid to switch doctors if your instincts tell you something is off. I ignored mine in the beginning with the previous guy because he's a professional so I assumed I was being paranoid. My current therapist encourages me to ask questions if I'm not sure what he means or what point he is trying to make -he tells me that is not being needy, over-worrying, or any other self-questioning negative attribute. He wants us to be on the same page. He also encourages my personal boundaries without labeling other people. My previous therapist would pretend to know what other people's intentions were. My current therapist never does that.
> I hope you find someone who is a positive influence in your life. You deserve good things.


Glad you are doing better. Ignoring warning signs because I assume that the other person knows what they are doing sounds like something I would do.

So this is helpful, thank you.


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