# F'in weddings!



## vlad soma

Do you hate weddings??? Jesus fckin christ, i just got invited to another Gdam wedding. How the hell do you turn down a wedding invite? I've always hated weddings. They have always been the most uncomfortable situations for me with the worst anxiety. Ever since I was a kid too. Smiling, trying to pretend having a good time, trying to make small talk with people you dont know. It sux. I'm 32. I'll be the only single guy there my age with no date, so I'll feel like an Ahole. Especially when I have to send the invite back with 0 guests. Then they have that stupid thing where the single guys are supposed to go out and try to catch the Gdam garter. I never do it but theres always someone that says "Heeey man, there ya go, get out there! HaHa" and I'm like "yeah...haha, no thanks(Fck you). I dont know what would be worse for me...going to the wedding or seeing that person again after I didnt go and then have to try and make an excuse. What do you think is worse? My fear of confrontation has always made my compliant so I always just go. Idk this time. thanks for letting me vent guys.


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## Rossy

Just don't go then.


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## Double Indemnity

Weddings are tough. I use to hate them more when I was younger. Now I can socialize a little better. I enjoy the pageantry of it - the dress, the flowers, etc. so in that respect I enjoy them.


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## mzmz

*i never get to go*

no one invites me to weddings.

I think your lucky. I mean yeah im sure it would be awkward for me, too but
at least you get to see them up close. I just see them in movies.


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## Propaganda

My oldschool friend invited me to her wedding. She asked me my address and I told her to make my invitation smell like blueberries. I am still waiting. =|


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## falling down

Yes I hate them, love my family but I hate these damn things.


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## Syndacus

Some old person will always nudge me and say.."you're next son"

but they do that to get me back when I nudged them at a funeral..."you're next tee hee"


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## Just Lurking

vlad soma said:


> How the hell do you turn down a wedding invite?


You don't 

You go to the ceremony, have a (usually) decent dinner, and then soon after the partying starts, you give your regards to the bride and groom, then slip out the door.

That's my wedding m/o.

The trickier situation is when you're asked to be in the wedding party...


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## FoggyMirror

I turned a couple down and regret it now. Finally went to a wedding and it wasn't so bad. Granted I turned down weddings in the past because of mental issues/SA and have gotten better over time. Not nearly 100% yet.


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## CeilingStarer

Just be thankful that you weren't asked to be a groomsman... there's no way out of that. I'm the same 30 y.o., single a/hole as you and had to go through with this earlier in the year: it was so embarrassing/humiliating etc. 

The dickhead jock 'best man (I didn't even know)' asked me "haven't found the right man yet?" when it was discovered that I was single. The bridesmaids thought I was a quiet creep... it was terrible. I didn't even rock-up to the next day after-wedding barbecue, which is apparently totally unacceptable for a member of the bridal party.

If I get invited to another wedding, I think I'd choose the "not going, and awkwardness seeing them/making an excuse." That would have been my choice here (hadn't even seen the groom for 5 years), but a bit hard when you're asked to be a groomsman.


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## vlad soma

Thanks for the replys guys.


mzmz said:


> no one invites me to weddings.
> 
> I think your lucky. I mean yeah im sure it would be awkward for me, too but
> at least you get to see them up close. I just see them in movies.


Youre right. I should be happy that I know someone who wants me to be there on their wedding day. I'll probably end up going. I have two options so far. One, get a ride so I can drink which will cure the SA. Or two:


Just Lurking said:


> You don't
> 
> You go to the ceremony, have a (usually) decent dinner, and then soon after the partying starts, you give your regards to the bride and groom, then slip out the door.
> 
> That's my wedding m/o.
> 
> The trickier situation is when you're asked to be in the wedding party...


Thanks Just Lurking. I may do that if I cant get a ride and drink. I'm sure the wedding isnt for awhile but I'll let you guys know how it goes. Thanks


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## rgrwng

i caught was a lucky recipient of the toss game (i caught the ring thing the bride wears on her thigh - it still smells nice after 12 years!) but i have yet to meet anyone. i think it was cursed, because i still have it in my closet hung with the suit i wore back then.

i don't like weddings, either, and i hope i never have to go to anymore of them. maybe it's the vibe of "how perfect it is or should be". foods sometimes could be larger portions, as well. next time i am invited, i will RSVP with a fat NO WAY on it.


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## 345

Weddings are torture funerals are not much better but i haven't gone to either so long i'm not asked.just say no.


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## pumpkinspice

CeilingStarer said:


> Just be thankful that you weren't asked to be a groomsman... there's no way out of that. I'm the same 30 y.o., single a/hole as you and had to go through with this earlier in the year: it was so embarrassing/humiliating etc.
> 
> The dickhead jock 'best man (I didn't even know)' asked me "haven't found the right man yet?" when it was discovered that I was single. The bridesmaids thought I was a quiet creep... it was terrible. I didn't even rock-up to the next day after-wedding barbecue, which is apparently totally unacceptable for a member of the bridal party.
> 
> If I get invited to another wedding, I think I'd choose the "not going, and awkwardness seeing them/making an excuse." That would have been my choice here (hadn't even seen the groom for 5 years), but a bit hard when you're asked to be a groomsman.


That sounds so horrible.


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## CaliSwaqq2012

man im sick and tired of you people with mild social anxiety complaining all the time at least u get invited places have girlfriends ir boyfriends and have a life get over ur selves try suffering with severe social anxiety


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## CeilingStarer

CaliSwaqq2012 said:


> try suffering with severe social anxiety


Already am thanks.


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## Perfectionist

mzmz said:


> no one invites me to weddings.


Ditto I've only been to two in my life, one in the last decade.

There wasn't any dancing and I spent the whole night in the kitchen washing dishes woop woop.


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## ToucanSam

vlad soma said:


> Do you hate weddings??? Jesus fckin christ


I vote that post as the best I have ever seen on SAS!!!!! :clap

Dude, you & CeilingStarer hit the nail on the head!

The only thing I can tell you is that things DO get better! By the time you reach your 40's, most of your friends/siblings are either married, divorced, or perpetually single, so the wedding invitations pretty much disappear. I don't know anyone who's gotten married in the last 3 or 4 years.

Regardless, I think folks understand if a single person declines a wedding invitation. If the couple or their family are friends of yours, and you can afford it, then sending a gift is a nice gesture.


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## copper

Try being best man. I was at my brothers wedding. I was nervous as hell throughout it. First, I didn't hold the bridesmaid arm correctly while walking down the aisle. I couldn't hardly sign as a witness on the marriage license. I never knew this was done during the ceremony. Everyone could see my trembling hand while I try to scratch out my signature. Then the reception was pure hell. Had to sit at the head table with the my brother and wife. Also, I can't even dance. Never learned too. The photography kept motioning at me to go do it. Just leave me alone you ***. I couldn't even make the toast. I was totally unprepared for this role. My brothers wife and family I can tell were pissed at me. I don't even want to be around my brothers wife because I am a total embarrassment. My brother and her are going to come for a visit in June. This is the first time in awhile she has come with him. Usually she goes to her folks that live downstate. But they are both moving to Arizona at the end of June.


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## victoriangirl

Thankfully I have always been abroad when I was invited so I didn't have to come up with an excuse. But I just had to go to the wedding of one of my closest friends, and it was tough. We didn't have any common friends but he knew of my SA but I still had this feeling that I should make him 'proud' and show up. So I was prentending to have a good time even though it felt extremely awkward and lonely the whole evening. I was the only single person there so all the lovers were cuddling and being all romantic and there I was confronted with my eternal lack of romance or ever finding my soulmate. So after an hour, I snuck away. The next days I found out that noone even noticed that I was gone - which is good in one way, but sad in another.

So my advice, do go but find a way to 'disappear' after a few hours.


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## TheVoid

One life event I have always hated. They are absurd, superficial rituals and I have to show up with a fake smile on my face, alone with no date, just as you said. What I do is I usually go since it is rude to turn down an invite but I leave early saying I have errands to run


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## Deadguy

It depends on who it is for and how much that person means to me. 

My brother asked me to be inhospitable wedding and at first I was hesitant, but my brother is such a great person, I eventually said yes. 

I ended up having a blast, not only at the wedding, but the Bachelor Party as well. No one really seemed to care that I was dateless and it gave me a chance to approach women and pretend I was a Hedge Fund Manager, Astronaut, Lawyer, etc., and see how they react. It helped that the groomsmen were nice but I went there with the intention of just having fun and letting my brother know how much I care for him.

My sister's wedding was a different story, however, as I just do not like her. My brother in law asked me to be in it, so I said yes, because he is nice. The worst part was having to give a speech at the Rehearsal dinner, in front of 100+ people. I just told a rather funny story that everyone seemed to enjoy. Afterwards a lot of people told me that my speech was the best out of everyone elses. 

The Reception was death, however. It was awful sitting there and watching everyone else dance. I finally just asked my mother if it would be okay if I went home, and thankfully she was ok with that.


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## butterflymarie

Hate weddings, funerals, wakes... any place you have to make small talk. And I am in my best friends wedding at the end of this month and I am petrified!!


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## vlad soma

CaliSwaqq2012 said:


> man im sick and tired of you people with mild social anxiety complaining all the time at least u get invited places have girlfriends ir boyfriends and have a life get over ur selves try suffering with severe social anxiety


Well im sick and tired of people who beat themselves up and have nothing better to do then complain and tell everyone how much worse they have it with each post they make. "oh yea, well I, blah blah blah" You have no idea what my life is like. You think you have me figured out because I got invited to a wedding? You dont. You have nooooo idea. And are people who have bfs or gfs automatically happier than you. No they arent.

With SA we all have constant negative irrational thoughts and being self destructive is easy. I can see where you are coming from. Its easy to think that if someone has a friend or is invited somewhere then they shouldnt even be here. The truth is that thought is completely irrational and is wrong. Its the SA talking.

I have it bad, but I want to get better. Thats why I'm here. I want to help people too. Maybe thats where we are different. I want to help and you judge others and try to make them feel bad with posts like that.
Its good to vent and try to relate to people but trust me, we cant figure anyone out from a few posts.
And thats why I didnt accept your friend request. I didnt know you, never read a post by you and after seeing that you had 20 something friends
after a few days I figured you were a troll. Definitely no SA when it comes to forums. jk Youre probably not a troll. It just makes you feel better to have "friends" on here and thats fine. I have none, boo hoo me.


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## Droidsteel

GO.

you might meet a single girl...


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## MobiusX

my brother will get married in 2 months, but i don't care, I'm not going to go, I don't even believe in weddings or marriage, weddings are just part of people's imagination, it's unnecessary and pointless. I'm not going to talk to the person he will marry cause I don't care.


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## pjb77

Just got an invite to my female cousins wedding.... The same female cousin that asked her brothers wife "who's that hot guy?" talking about me at my brothers wedding many years ago. I was a groomsman. At least my cousin thinks I'm hot. LOL. When your cousin don't know you it's a sign you don't get out enough. LMAO
Don't think I will be going. I think my brothers wedding was the last one I went to or maybe my sisters. 
I avoid the congratulation(?) line like the plague.


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## falling down

pjb77 said:


> Just got an invite to my female cousins wedding.... The same female cousin that asked her brothers wife "who's that hot guy?" talking about me at my brothers wedding many years ago. I was a groomsman. At least my cousin thinks I'm hot. LOL. When your cousin don't know you it's a sign you don't get out enough. LMAO
> Don't think I will be going. I think my brothers wedding was the last one I went to or maybe my sisters.
> I avoid the congratulation(?) line like the plague.


Nuthin says lovin like marryin u'r cuzin.


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## pumpkinspice

pjb77 said:


> Just got an invite to my female cousins wedding.... The same female cousin that asked her brothers wife "who's that hot guy?" talking about me at my brothers wedding many years ago. I was a groomsman. At least my cousin thinks I'm hot. LOL. When your cousin don't know you it's a sign you don't get out enough. LMAO
> Don't think I will be going. I think my brothers wedding was the last one I went to or maybe my sisters.
> I avoid the congratulation(?) line like the plague.





falling down said:


> Nuthin says lovin like marryin u'r cuzin.


:lol


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## Don Gio

I have a phobia for weddings,can't stand them,unless it's my own.


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## fg35

This thread is awesome. i thought i was like the only miserable sob out there who hated weddings.


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## Knowbody

my cousin invited me to her wedding in june, but i can't go due to the fact that we're the same age (mid 20s) and she's about to be happily married, I mean... I love her but I'm just too jealous to go, I hate myself for it too.


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