# Why do men want women?



## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Hi everyone,

I'm curious to what everyone's opinion is on this

What do men want in women? Why do they feel attracted toward them? What is their goal?

I kind of understand why women want men: they want the feeling of being safe and secure, being romanced by the man and being swept off their feet by his suavity.

But what do men want? What feelings and experiences do men get out of a relationship?

I find it interesting that so many men so desperately want to be in a relationship with a woman. But why?

Unfortunately I can't answer this question myself since I am not fully part of the masculine gender. (The previous board let me put that down, now I must choose between "Male" or "Female" )


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## Pharao (Jun 10, 2004)

Having a girl that you care about to talk to is important to me. My emotions always get wrecked in relationships but I always want one over just something random anyways. So I always have to ask myself why I even want all that trouble? When i could just be with someone without the emotion and have something physical. Like a norma guy would want lol...But there is something important about having someone there for you that you can trust and talk to..I guess the feelings I have are..If a girl treats me well and I trust her and feel like I can tell her anything..It makes me feel really secure and not so alone. But then because you care about that person and you've given so much of yourself to them..When things go bad..It goes straight down so fast LoL. ;(


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

I'm not a man but I'm guessing most of them want sex? :b


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Other than sex, couldn't love and companionship be had with a man as well?

What is so special about women that makes a man want to experience love and companionship with them?

About women, I see how most of them want a man: to be in his strong arms and feel safe and secure and protected. As well as love and companionship.

But men? They want a woman because ...?

Is it ONLY because of sex?


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## Johnny1234 (Nov 16, 2006)

In random order:

Societal status
Sex
Love
To take care of them and the house(cook clean)
Someone to spend time with
It feels good


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Men, when you have a crush on a woman, and think about her, are you thinking about having sex with her?


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## sonya99 (Sep 5, 2005)

I *think* (I'm not a man) men want women for sex or sex + love...and that a select few want love alone. 

I'm sorry, I don't know if you're into women or not...but I'm sure there have been plenty of straight men throughout history who have been puzzled as to what more a man would want from a women other than sex and bearing/raising his children. I mean, ancient Greeks didn't think the highest love was between a man and a women, but between too men. Of course...I *think* there was a homoerotic element to that too but I'm no expert on the subject. Anyway, I'm sure there are examples from other cultures too.


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

vicente said:


> Men, when you have a crush on a woman, and think about her, are you thinking about having sex with her?


Eh. Sometimes, but usually not.

Mostly I'm thinking about how much I like her, what I like about her, wondering what she's doing right now, and things like that. Usually accompanied by a warm, tingly feeling inside. :mushy


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## Pharao (Jun 10, 2004)

It isn't all that puzzling. It's pretty much the same thing as asking why do people need friends? It isn't about sex..Obviously that adds a lot to it..But the main part is really just wanting someone that is your best friend that you can talk to all the time and never get bored of.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

^^ Yeah but can't you do that with a man?

The question is: besides sex, why do men want to have relationships with women? What is there that can't be between two men?


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

I guess you're overlooking that sex _isn't_ the only reason. Guys can find women who can be their best friend, lover and more.


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

Strange Religion said:


> I guess you're overlooking that sex _isn't_ the only reason. Guys can find women who can be their best friend, lover and more.


Yeah, agreed.

Also, most guys want someone they can be intimate/affectionate with (not just sex.) If you're not attracted to someone (i.e., you're not into the dudes,) you're probably not going want to be intimate with them, which is going to leave you emotionally unfulfilled.

Sure, two guys can have a "relationship" without intimacy. It's called being buddies.


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## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

Men want women so that he can spread his genes. Let's not kid ourselves about this people -- that's what it's all about. You put your right foot in, you put your......
Everything else is about reinforcing that relationship and making sure your offspring survive. It's too bad my natural inclinations won't let me just go around ****ing all day long and spreading my seed as far as ye eye can see. I also have to worry about my pesky off spring surviving. At least, to some extent. My personal hero is Mohammed Bin Ladin (I think he went through something like 50 wives). He spread his seed far and wide. I envy that kind of gene-spreading. He must have been viewed as the messiah to his genes. Of course, he had to sacrifice a lot to get there. He died for his genes and he died so that he could forgive his genes for what they produced -- Osama bin laden. That pesky rascal hasn't spread his seed far and wide. In fact, he's endangered his seed by challenging a country filled with seeds -- seeds that will not be wiped out by him. Seeds are on the march!


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## anarchist_penn (Jan 21, 2006)

Cerberus said:


> Men want women so that he can spread his genes. Let's not kid ourselves about this people -- that's what it's all about. You put your right foot in, you put your......
> Everything else is about reinforcing that relationship and making sure your offspring survive. It's too bad my natural inclinations won't let me just go around @#%$ all day long and spreading my seed as far as ye eye can see. I also have to worry about my pesky off spring surviving. At least, to some extent. My personal hero is Mohammed Bin Ladin (I think he went through something like 50 wives). He spread his seed far and wide. I envy that kind of gene-spreading. He must have been viewed as the messiah to his genes. Of course, he had to sacrifice a lot to get there. He died for his genes and he died so that he could forgive his genes for what they produced -- Osama bin laden. That pesky rascal hasn't spread his seed far and wide. In fact, he's endangered his seed by challenging a country filled with seeds -- seeds that will not be wiped out by him. Seeds are on the march!


According to some studies, 0.5% of the world population descended from Genghis Khan, perhaps the most successful human being from an evolutionary perspective.


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## R (Jun 13, 2006)

deleted :wtf


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## R (Jun 13, 2006)

Cerberus said:


> Men want women so that he can spread his genes. Let's not kid ourselves about this people -- that's what it's all about. You put your right foot in, you put your......
> Everything else is about reinforcing that relationship and making sure your offspring survive. It's too bad my natural inclinations won't let me just go around @#%$ all day long and spreading my seed as far as ye eye can see. I also have to worry about my pesky off spring surviving. At least, to some extent. My personal hero is Mohammed Bin Ladin (I think he went through something like 50 wives). He spread his seed far and wide. I envy that kind of gene-spreading. He must have been viewed as the messiah to his genes. Of course, he had to sacrifice a lot to get there. He died for his genes and he died so that he could forgive his genes for what they produced -- Osama bin laden. That pesky rascal hasn't spread his seed far and wide. In fact, he's endangered his seed by challenging a country filled with seeds -- seeds that will not be wiped out by him. Seeds are on the march!


LOL opcorn

Actually the biggest pimp in history is Genghis Khan



> An international group of geneticists studying Y-chromosome data have found that nearly 8 percent of the men living in the region of the former Mongol empire carry y-chromosomes that are nearly identical. That translates to 0.5 percent of the male population in the world, or roughly 16 million descendants living today.


http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news ... nghis.html

As far as the original topic, generally speaking Cerberus is right but I think we are looking more at how that primal drive expresses itself in our behavior and personality. The whole focus on sex is a narrow point of view. If you say reproduction, ok but saying, it's only sex, is saying that guys are only after the physical pleasure of sex and not even mentioning women's pleasure from orgasms. weather intercourse or orally, if you can give a girl a orgasm, then they are going to want sex out of a relationship just as much as a guy.



vicente said:


> What feelings and experiences do men get out of a relationship?
> 
> I kind of understand why women want men: they want the feeling of being safe and secure, being romanced by the man and being swept off their feet by his suavity.
> 
> ...


[/quote]

Just wondering, what is your gender? are you transgendered?

That's a pretty simple view of womens needs in a relationship, so the male version is easy. A male wants to be needed, to be needed to provide that security and safety, to be a romancer , they want to sweep women off their feet. This doesn't talk about how that secuirty is provided or for who (herself/her kids/future kids), on the other hand suavity or sexyness/confidence/pimpness can be a turn off to some women, furthermore those same attributes can be what a man finds attractive in a women.



anarchist_penn said:


> Cerberus said:
> 
> 
> > Men want women so that he can spread his genes. Let's not kid ourselves about this people -- that's what it's all about. You put your right foot in, you put your......
> ...


Damn you beat me to it :sigh


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

OK here's a statement that many people would agree with: Women and men are different. A glaringly obvious thing to say, but women are female - they are the spiritual other side to the coin of humanity - one part of a whole. Having said that, I think its possible to have a feminine personality and be male, and vice versa. Its possible in a homosexual relationship to have male and female personalities. Its possible in a heterosexual relationship to have 'reversed' sexual personalities. But I think that most people need that in their lives - the opposite gender (spiritually speaking). There may be a number of reasons why intimacy is not right for you at the moment - and that is ok. You are who you are for a reason, and dont let anyone tell you that you MUST be different. If you WANT to change, then you know we are all here to support you. If you don't, then don't!

Its like a deep craving for me - having someone that is opposite to me yet similar in many ways. When a girl has just a certain kind of personality, I can't help it - I feel magnetically drawn to her. Its like a kind of fascination and wondering what she will do next. And there are no men in my world that do this, because by and large they are masculine personalities. Yes of course sex comes into it. Its a deep, primal need to bond and connect with your sexual opposite. There is nothing shameful or evil about sex, there is nothing wrong with wanting it. Some men can be cold and not consider a womans feelings, making her feel used, and that is not pleasant. Equally, there are women who sometimes want sex and nothing more. ITS OK to want sex - it is natural and part of our humanity. But sex is only one little element of the male / female equation. I cant entirely put it into words, but when I meet a girl who is bubbly, slightly quirky, confident but just vulnerable enough, I feel an immediate connection. I'm not talking about just feeling horny - Its like a spark, an energy that just comes from nowhere. You can see that energy in a man or woman who is in love - there is a spring in their step even when they are not around the other person. Another guy cant give me that same energy.

Ross


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> OK here's a statement that many people would agree with: Women and men are different. A glaringly obvious thing to say, but women are female - they are the spiritual other side to the coin of humanity - one part of a whole. Having said that, I think its possible to have a feminine personality and be male, and vice versa. Its possible in a homosexual relationship to have male and female personalities. Its possible in a heterosexual relationship to have 'reversed' sexual personalities. But I think that most people need that in their lives - the opposite gender (spiritually speaking). There may be a number of reasons why intimacy is not right for you at the moment - and that is ok. You are who you are for a reason, and dont let anyone tell you that you MUST be different. If you WANT to change, then you know we are all here to support you. If you don't, then don't!
> 
> Its like a deep craving for me - having someone that is opposite to me yet similar in many ways. When a girl has just a certain kind of personality, I can't help it - I feel magnetically drawn to her. Its like a kind of fascination and wondering what she will do next. And there are no men in my world that do this, because by and large they are masculine personalities. Yes of course sex comes into it. Its a deep, primal need to bond and connect with your sexual opposite. There is nothing shameful or evil about sex, there is nothing wrong with wanting it. Some men can be cold and not consider a womans feelings, making her feel used, and that is not pleasant. Equally, there are women who sometimes want sex and nothing more. ITS OK to want sex - it is natural and part of our humanity. But sex is only one little element of the male / female equation. I cant entirely put it into words, but when I meet a girl who is bubbly, slightly quirky, confident but just vulnerable enough, I feel an immediate connection. I'm not talking about just feeling horny - Its like a spark, an energy that just comes from nowhere. You can see that energy in a man or woman who is in love - there is a spring in their step even when they are not around the other person. Another guy cant give me that same energy.
> 
> Ross


Very well said :nw :nw :nw :nw


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

I think it is mostly just a fantasy because overtime I've found women are just as imperfect as the average guy as they play games, betray, aren't necessarily honest. 

To me they're like a soft, silky stuffed animal. Having someone that you can tell anything to. Someone as your partner through life that supports you and who you support. I don't know it just comes off as hot, but again I'm starting to think that this is more of a fantasy and not what relationships are anymore. That being said even after realizing this it's hard trying to stop yourself from wanting this.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Cerberus said:


> Men want women so that he can spread his genes. Let's not kid ourselves about this people -- that's what it's all about. You put your right foot in, you put your......
> Everything else is about reinforcing that relationship and making sure your offspring survive. It's too bad my natural inclinations won't let me just go around @#%$ all day long and spreading my seed as far as ye eye can see. I also have to worry about my pesky off spring surviving. At least, to some extent. My personal hero is Mohammed Bin Ladin (I think he went through something like 50 wives). He spread his seed far and wide. I envy that kind of gene-spreading. He must have been viewed as the messiah to his genes. Of course, he had to sacrifice a lot to get there. He died for his genes and he died so that he could forgive his genes for what they produced -- Osama bin laden. That pesky rascal hasn't spread his seed far and wide. In fact, he's endangered his seed by challenging a country filled with seeds -- seeds that will not be wiped out by him. Seeds are on the march!


That would leave me empty. Nothing more than a physical encounter would leave me depressed.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

leppardess said:


> yeah_yeah_yeah said:
> 
> 
> > OK here's a statement that many people would agree with: Women and men are different. A glaringly obvious thing to say, but women are female - they are the spiritual other side to the coin of humanity - one part of a whole. Having said that, I think its possible to have a feminine personality and be male, and vice versa. Its possible in a homosexual relationship to have male and female personalities. Its possible in a heterosexual relationship to have 'reversed' sexual personalities. But I think that most people need that in their lives - the opposite gender (spiritually speaking). There may be a number of reasons why intimacy is not right for you at the moment - and that is ok. You are who you are for a reason, and dont let anyone tell you that you MUST be different. If you WANT to change, then you know we are all here to support you. If you don't, then don't!
> ...


 :agree


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## ruinthps (Aug 15, 2007)

Well it depends what type of relationship you are talking about. You say you feel secure and protected meaning you are obviously talking about big masculen men, as opposed to someone like me who is scrawny. The typical masculin man only wants sex and to feel good about themselves. I on the other hand just want someone to hold and love whom loves me back. Now there are exceptions but that is the generalized version of what males do. I do have cravings for sex but they aren't important, I can supress them. The short version is:
big guy wants sex,
small guy wants love


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

Simply ridiculous


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## Airick10 (May 10, 2007)

Where does Wilt Chamberlain rank? He's claimed to have slept with over 10,000 women.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

He died at 63. Thats 159 women a year. Thats three a week, not counting the fact that he probably wasnt shagging that much between the ages of 0 - 15. So the new maths on that is now four women a week, none of them the same one. Ever.

I think it was a thousand, as he is quoted as saying "_Having a thousand different ladies is pretty cool, I have learned in my life I've found out that having one woman a thousand different times is much more satisfying_" 

Ross


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

vicente said:


> Men, when you have a crush on a woman, and think about her, are you thinking about having sex with her?


Yes, absolutely. I don't think it's very fruitful to overanalyze such a thing. And I would assume that most women feel the same thing. If a woman sees a guy whom she finds very attractive, what else is she going to think but the same thing that a man thinks -- that she wants to have sex with him? Is any person going to have a crush on someone physically with whom they don't want to have sex? I don't believe so.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

When I see an attractive guy, I don't desire to have sex with him. I don't even think about it. I may look at him for quite a bit if I am able to do so undetected, but I am admiring him, not desiring to have sex with him. The only time I truly desire sex is when I have an emotional connection to a male. Then I dwell upon many scenarios of seduction. Obviously I can only speak for myself, but what you just said in the above post shows a whole hell of a lot of assumption, considering you have never been a woman.

Or have you?


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## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

scairy said:


> Cerberus said:
> 
> 
> > Men want women so that he can spread his genes. Let's not kid ourselves about this people -- that's what it's all about. You put your right foot in, you put your......
> ...


I could love each and everyone of my wives -- just for shorter periods of time. Don't think that just because my goal is to spread my seed to the ends of the earth, doesn't mean I can't love my seed catchers. :b


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

Cerberus said:


> scairy said:
> 
> 
> > Cerberus said:
> ...


What the... oh. Utah.


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

IcedOver said:


> vicente said:
> 
> 
> > Men, when you have a crush on a woman, and think about her, are you thinking about having sex with her?
> ...


Well, you certainly don't speak for every guy here, because I know I certainly don't think that way, and I'm sure many others don't, either.

All of my crushes have been on people I know or have interacted with. Friends I've had, people I've talked with, things like that. Of course there is usually a physical attraction, but it goes way beyond that. I become infatuated with their personality, the little things they do, and stuff like that. I've never had a purely sexual crush on anyone. Maybe some people have a different idea of what a crush is, but I can only name about 5 women that I've ever truly had a crush on. :stu


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Hey Iced

I _feel _sexual attraction but I'm not actually thinking about the way in which I'm going to do it - you know, like picturing a little p()rno in my head or whatever. That doesnt happen and I'm guessing it doesnt really with you either. The little things she might do to make me interested in her, personality quirks etc, will increase that attraction and thats why its nice to get to know her and build up comfort gradually - once she's comfortable she will start to be herself more and its more fun. After a while the mood may well become more intimate and then its more kind of at the front of my mind. If the mood is right, then yes of course I will not say no - but the mood isnt right unless I have actually found something I really like in her and there is a connection. You cant really fake that feeling and I can't have mechanical sex with a girl just for the sake of it. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Ive always found that waiting a couple of dates before going down that route makes it six times as nice - all that anticipation built up!

Ross


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

njodis said:


> vicente said:
> 
> 
> > Men, when you have a crush on a woman, and think about her, are you thinking about having sex with her?
> ...


:ditto
I'm sexually attracted to women as are all heterosexual males, but when I'm seeking a relationship with a woman its not for sex. I only look at sex as a benefit, there are far more important things to me. I want to be there for her when she needs support, I want to hold her when she's feeling down and laugh with her when she's happy, ect. Most of all I want companionship, someone to share my life with who I can love unconditionally and feel the same in return. Its hard to explain but I think men want women for the same reasons women want men and it goes deeper than physical attraction.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Cerberus said:


> scairy said:
> 
> 
> > Cerberus said:
> ...


You Utah people :no :b

I'll never know but my feelings are if I had more than one wife I wouldn't be able to form as deep of a relationship with them. If I had only one there would be a deeper bond because it would involve spending more close intimate time with one versus splitting it up between all of them. But that's just me. Maybe different things trigger happiness and a tight bond for different people :stu


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Lonelyguy said:


> njodis said:
> 
> 
> > vicente said:
> ...


I wouldn't say that. People are trying to seek happiness. Some think they'll find it with sleeping with as many women as possible. Other may think they'll find it by remaining partners but never going through the marriage ceremony. Others feel marriage alone will bring happiness. And the list goes on.


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

I don't know why men and women want each other. That's just the way we're designed, I guess--for reproduction.

Also, a well-functioning society is based on the family unit, right? Humans are social creatures and families are needed for survival. A partnership between men and women, is required for society to flourish. Both sexes contribute different things to keep the human race going.

It doesn't make sense for the sexes to split up and build their own societies. It would be too much like a sci-fi movie. LOL.


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

I wonder what would happen if people were separated at birth at placed in civilizations with only their own gender, ie, one with only men and one with only women, and everyone was lead to believe that only one gender existed.

You think all of the people would try to build relationships with their own gender?

I think about these weird things sometimes. :lol


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

Lonelyguy said:


> njodis said:
> 
> 
> > vicente said:
> ...


How refreshing to read something like this in this forum. So often I read posts that allude to the fact that all men care about is how "cute" a girl is, and that sex is also all men care about. Depends on the man, of course, and the age. I think age has A LOT to do with it.



> *I think men want women for the same reasons women want men and it goes deeper than physical attraction.*


 In 100% full agreement!!!


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

Lonelyguy said:


> I think men want women for the same reasons women want men...


I agree as well. I don't believe safety and security are primary factors for women wanting men.

Besides being programmed to be attracted to each other, I think the reasons are all the ones you'd most likely expect....love, attraction, sex, companionship, and happiness.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

vicente said:


> Men, when you have a crush on a woman, and think about her, are you thinking about having sex with her?


Ummm..I...Can you define "sex"?



whiteclouds said:


> I don't know why men and women want each other. That's just the way we're designed, I guess--for reproduction.





Cerberus said:


> Men want women so that he can spread his genes. Let's not kid ourselves about this people -- that's what it's all about. You put your right foot in, you put your......


I absolutely do not want to spread my genes. I may not be a man. Not surprising.


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## beatlegeuce (Jun 28, 2007)

LostInReverie said:


> What the... oh. Utah.


Omg lol ahahahhaha!!!!


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

njodis said:


> I wonder what would happen if people were separated at birth at placed in civilizations with only their own gender, ie, one with only men and one with only women, and everyone was lead to believe that only one gender existed.
> 
> You think all of the people would try to build relationships with their own gender?
> 
> I think about these weird things sometimes. :lol


I definitely think women would. Not sure what what you men would do with each other.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

njodis said:


> I wonder what would happen if people were separated at birth at placed in civilizations with only their own gender, ie, one with only men and one with only women, and everyone was lead to believe that only one gender existed.
> 
> You think all of the people would try to build relationships with their own gender?
> 
> I think about these weird things sometimes. :lol


Yes all you have to do is look at what happens in jail :b


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

Eh... I'm not really sure the prison thing is the same. The whole prison rape thing is supposedly more about power than anything else. I was thinking more of a normal society, just with all men or all women.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Amazon Men of the Jungle?


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## VCL XI (Jan 19, 2004)

Mercurochrome said:


> I absolutely do not want to spread my genes. I may not be a man. Not surprising.


Same here. I thought long and hard about getting a vasectomy, that is, until I looked in the mirror.

I don't think about sex at all when I get a true crush on someone, even if I find her really attractive. In fact, this is going to sound weird, but I only have sexual fantasies about women who I don't care about as people. Kind of like (to use the creepiest possible example I possibly can) how killers have to dehumanize a person to do the deed. If I really, _reeeally_ like a girl, the last thing I'd want is for her to lower herself to commit such filthy acts with a hideous piece of **** like me.

To be honest, I really don't know why I want women aside from those pesky, inexorable primal human urges. It's one of the reasons I gave up looking, because I truly have nothing to offer them. When I notice a gal with the sort of personality I'm attracted to I'll think, "what things would you do with her if she was into you anyway?" I'm never able to find a good answer.



millenniumman75 said:


> Amazon Men of the Jungle?


Pitch that as a reality show to CBS...maybe it can follow that new show "Kid Nation".


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Ouch 

Ross


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

The whole spreading the seed talk is so old skool to me. I think maybe it was more like that back in the day, but I know damn well I never want kids and more men probably feel the same.
It reminds me of the religious talk like "Sex is only for procreation."
Puh-lease.


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

I definitely want kids, but I'm not too sure I want to bring another person into this ****ed world. Besides, the last thing I want to do is pass on my crap genes and mental issues - if they turn out to be genetic. I'd really like the _idea_ of having our own kids, but the more I think about it, adoption does seem to be a better choice.

I dunno. I guess it's too early to really say.

Ever since I was a young teenager I knew I wanted to have a family when I was older. It's always been my main goal. It's my main reason for wanting to get over this SA garbage, too.

I wanna be a family man. :lol


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Sometimes I wonder whether it's true that men and women want the same things in their partner, at the deepest level. But I think about all the strong macho men who don't show emotions. Do they really share their deep feelings and insecurities with their women? And crave the support and validation from them? Sometimes it feels like that's what women want in men, but that men want something else, which I'm not sure what that is. It seems contradictory if men are seeking to protect and provide at the same time as they want to seek comfort from a woman. It must be something else.

About my gender, I'm biologically male but my gender is neither male or female. I don't like the word "transgendered" because it seems to imply that you act totally like the gender opposite your biological sex and may therefore want to get a sex-change. But for me that would be inappropriate because I have both male and female personality characteristics. I'm not manly enough to feel comfortable calling myself a man, but I'm not womanly enough either to call myself a woman. I'm sure that most men have a tiny bit of feminine traits and most women have a tiny bit of masculine traits but my personality's quite stuck in the middle so I have trouble identifying with other biological males, especially when it comes to how they view women they like. I created this thread because I want to see how "normal" males tick, what it is that attracts them to women.

VCL XI, I share a lot of traits that you have. I don't think about sex when I have a crush on a woman, not because I'm suppressing it due to some moral or religious conviction, but because it just doesn't come to mind. I also don't know what I'd have to offer to a woman. If it's true that "opposites attract", then I'd have to find a biological female who also has a personality conflicting with her gender and is attracted to biological males like me who aren't very manly (this is the hard part).


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

Just because your personality is not the stereotypical 'macho' man doesn't mean you're any less of a man or aren't a male. I think in every man there is a sensitive side, some are conditioned (or all are to a certain degree) not to display their emotions as intensely/or frequently as many females, but it doesn't mean they don't experience them to the same degree. Plus, the ones who do express their emotions are considered the sensitive men, but unless you are obsessing crying or something I don't think there is near as bad connotations to that expression as in years past.


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## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

LostInReverie said:


> Cerberus said:
> 
> 
> > I could love each and everyone of my wives -- just for shorter periods of time. Don't think that just because my goal is to spread my seed to the ends of the earth, doesn't mean I can't love my seed catchers. :b
> ...


Hey, just because Utah is filled with Mormons and I was raised as one, doesn't mean that my ambitious desire to spread my seed around the world is a religious motive. I'm sure plenty of secular people have similar ambitions. :b :troll


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I don't want to be a Maury guest!


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

I also think that women want men for the same reasons that men wants a woman.For me I don't care about the whole "I need a guy to protect me" kind of thing because I see myself as a modern and independent woman, and well to be honest I don't need a man to take care of me.
Anyway I want a relationship with a man because I want love,friendship, and sex.And well aren't those the main reasons for people wanting a relationship these days?Ok,and the whole family thing too for some people.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Prodigal Son said:


> Just because your personality is not the stereotypical 'macho' man doesn't mean you're any less of a man or aren't a male. I think in every man there is a sensitive side, some are conditioned (or all are to a certain degree) not to display their emotions as intensely/or frequently as many females, but it doesn't mean they don't experience them to the same degree. Plus, the ones who do express their emotions are considered the sensitive men, but unless you are obsessing crying or something I don't think there is near as bad connotations to that expression as in years past.


I agree with all of this. I think sensitivity to emotions is different to responding to emotions. Being assertive, letting people know how you feel, being genuine ... that for me is _responding_ to emotions and I do not regard it as sensitivity - people feel emotions all the time but choose what to do with them. In fact I think the stronger a man is, and I mean REAL strength, not bullying, muscular machismo - the more likely he is to respond authentically to his emotions. If a man is fearful he is less likely to express them, but that does not make him any more or less sensitive than the other guy.

Being unafraid to express liking, love, anger, disapproval, support etc are healthy signs and I think they are all signs of strong masculinity.

Ross


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

Invisible_girl said:


> I also think that women want men for the same reasons that men wants a woman.For me I don't care about the whole "I need a guy to protect me" kind of thing because I see myself as a modern and independent woman, and well to be honest I don't need a man to take care of me.
> Anyway I want a relationship with a man because I want love,friendship, and sex.And well aren't those the main reasons for people wanting a relationship these days?Ok,and the whole family thing too for some people.


Yeah, I really don't need protection either. I'd like to see someone try and hurt me. Or rape me. That would be pretty damn funny.


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## Brax (Jun 15, 2005)

The short answer is that we're designed to reproduce and feelings that go along with that (falling in love) aide us in that endeavor. I don't want kids but I do want the romantic love. So I'll take the love and leave the kids to other people. 

More specifically, for me, I don't want someone who's greatest goal is protection and security from their lover. I want someone like me, most of all. I want a person, as well, that is embracing romantic love for, well, love and the beautiful thing that is two people in love. I want a companion (companions maybe) that are going to be a very deep part of my life.

I also want sex which I'll ideally get outside of any deep romantic relationships (for now). So I want women for that (and women who want me for that so no I'm not going around "breaking hearts" and being a jerk). Chicks are hot?


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## Brax (Jun 15, 2005)

vicente said:


> ^^ Yeah but can't you do that with a man?
> 
> The question is: besides sex, why do men want to have relationships with women? What is there that can't be between two men?


Sexual orientation is the part of the equation you're missing here . For heterosexual men there's something that they can only get from women both sexually and emotionally. If they could get that from men then they'd be bisexual, or homosexual. If how humans are designed. Most of us happen to be breeders and heterosexual or bisexual and thus guarantee the survival of the species.

Of course homosexual love is a mystery right now. I guess it's about having allies in life, having more parents to adopt stray kids.

Basically, we call it love, we very often crave it and enjoy it. It's a side effect of being an intelligent, emotional, social species. A very nice side-effect.


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## Mayflower 2000 (Nov 11, 2003)

vicente said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> I'm curious to what everyone's opinion is on this
> 
> ...


I don't know. But I'm male, and in my case, why and what I'd want from a relationship is basically a combination of being a close friend (including that 'love' thing), sexual partner, and family member (sharing household/all that/potential parenting).


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## B-Dog (Dec 19, 2003)

Im speaking strictly for myself here but I loathe being alone. Im also a very sensitive guy and watching the stars with my male friends would probably cause them to stop hanging out with me. I like to talk and listen its what I enjoy doing and to me there isnt much anything better than with a woman that I love.

Also, social acceptance. Say what you will but as soon as your first friend gets married people start bugging the **** out of you.

I have no plans or desire to have kids. I like sex, its like a catlyst for a good relationship I think. 

-B


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## faceshed (Sep 11, 2007)

vicente said:


> About my gender, I'm biologically male but my gender is neither male or female. I don't like the word "transgendered" because it seems to imply that you act totally like the gender opposite your biological sex and may therefore want to get a sex-change. But for me that would be inappropriate because I have both male and female personality characteristics. I'm not manly enough to feel comfortable calling myself a man, but I'm not womanly enough either to call myself a woman. I'm sure that most men have a tiny bit of feminine traits and most women have a tiny bit of masculine traits but my personality's quite stuck in the middle so I have trouble identifying with other biological males, especially when it comes to how they view women they like. I created this thread because I want to see how "normal" males tick, what it is that attracts them to women.


If you want to know how a NORMAL male ticks then you might want to disregard this because nothing about me tends to fall into any norm but I'll tell you how it is for me:
I'm a virgin at 21 because I believe sex is a expression of love not the other way around, so I will (continue to) pass up any offers for sex with people till I find the one I love even if I live to be 180 and I've thought long and hard about how I might find this person or what it is I'm really looking for in a girl.
I saw a show where a palm reader tried to guess out of 3 couples who was with who and got them all right, she said at one point "we find it's people that are the same or opposite that really get along" it really stuck in my head and seams to be right.
As for me there are tons of people that are nothing like me and nothing about them turns me on, but when I talk to a girl that plays a lot of games or is really shy or likes a sex act that I won't say it drives me crazy.
So I want someone I can share my path in life with, a like minded companion that I can relate to in hard times and easy.


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

> What the... oh. Utah.


 :lol


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

vicente said:


> Men, when you have a crush on a woman, and think about her, are you thinking about having sex with her?


when i see a woman thats my type, someone i would be interested in, i dont picture myself having sex with her.

when i see a woman im attracted to but isnt my type, i think about sex


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Strange Religion said:


> The whole spreading the seed talk is so old skool to me. I think maybe it was more like that back in the day, but I know damn well I never want kids and more men probably feel the same.
> It reminds me of the religious talk like "Sex is only for procreation."
> Puh-lease.


Not sure what religious talk that is but last I heard in a religious setting the purpose of sex was to express love and affection along with procreation.

Recent statistics are showing it isn't the women that want kids it's the men.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

> To be honest, I really don't know why I want women aside from those pesky, inexorable primal human urges. It's one of the reasons I gave up looking, because I truly have nothing to offer them. When I notice a gal with the sort of personality I'm attracted to I'll think, "what things would you do with her if she was into you anyway?" I'm never able to find a good answer.


Wow that's scary. I think upon these exact same lines. I guess on a brighter side we are making the whole survival of the fittest process more efficient by getting out of the way :b


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## kevinffcp (Aug 30, 2007)

I guess it feel good and satisfied to be loved by a opposite sex?


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## michaelinnotts (Sep 19, 2007)

Pharao said:


> Having a girl that you care about to talk to is important to me. My emotions always get wrecked in relationships but I always want one over just something random anyways. So I always have to ask myself why I even want all that trouble? When i could just be with someone without the emotion and have something physical. Like a norma guy would want lol...But there is something important about having someone there for you that you can trust and talk to.


Exactly. Men get lonely just like women. I had a relationship for 6 years with a girl I didn't really love, and I wanted to get out of it pretty much from the beginning. I stayed because I was scared of being alone; and now that I'm single, I'm scared I'll be alone for the rest of my life.


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

Because I find women to be beautiful(and fascinating) creatures. I don't have much beauty in my life so that why I like women.

And then there's the sex thing and all but that's not really important is it?


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## Nutnutnut (Jun 2, 2007)

To be honest, I'm not sure what to think. I was thinking about it, and I noticed my brain was looking into people I admire's opinion to answer to this question. Now that wouldn't be right, to take someone else's opinion, even though people do it unconsciously all the time. So, I can't say I have a complete opinion about this, but there's a few points I have a firm stand on which I can talk about.

I think this debate shouldn't all be about Why men want women, it should also talk about Why women want men. The author of this thread just brushed off the topic of why women want men as if it was obvious, and always for the same reasons, which is an error.

I think people get into relationships, have sex, have a family, etc, for complete different reasons. It's ridiculous to try to generalize, because whatever cliche you will end up with, it will only apply most to the majority. By example, the cliche that women get into relationships because they want to feel "safe". It's true for a lot of women, but it's not true for all of them, and those for which it is not true get stuck with the image that people think they do it for those reasons, which creates confusion, and frustration. Example: 
Boyfriend: *Puts arms around woman* Don't you feel protected when I do that?
Woman: Ummmm? (_Wth?_) What makes you think I need your protection?
Boyfriend: Don't be silly, all women like that!
Women: No, grow up. *goes away*
Boyfriend: But wait...

In this case, the boyfriend got in a relationship with a totally different kind of girl he thought he did.

Now, I'm going to as far as my knowledge goes, say to you what I think around 80% of the population are like, cliche type. They do sex not as a matter to connect, but as a way to feel masculinity or femininity. They take on a "role", dominated, or dominator, it can be either male or female in any role nowadays. And those who do that have the particularity of feeling very connected, and identify themselves to their gender very much. They also have in common they are very "ordinary" people, not particularly spiritual, or intelligent.

Then, there's the motivation. Different people, different motivations. For some youngsters, they get a girlfriend/boyfriend as a status marker, because it's "cool" to be in a couple. Showoffs. For some, it's a biological need, especially males, they feel they need sex. Then later in life, the need to have a partner to face life with. Or, the need to have a family, and be a parent.

In all cases, relationships for grown adults are almost never based on nothing. There's just not some physical attraction, there's a profond attachment. But, there's always some underlyning motivation, simple or complex.

Now, that's the stereotypes, the "normal" terran human as I call them in my head.

Then, you got different people, who seem to not accept their gender, and have trouble finding their "role" in a couple. But, they are exactly on the same level as the other terran humans, because they try to find a role.

Then there is people, who seem to be totally uninterested the whole sex "role" playing, that desire relationships for totally new eccentric reasons, or motivations. I consider myself in that category.

In a nutshell, those eccentrics are not interested into the superficial level of relationships like all the others. Just look at the television for example, at celebrities. There is always that hyper-masculinized or hyper-femininized person jumping from relationship to relationship. Then, there is those actors who seem to into their relationships for much deeper reasons, and motivations.


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