# Clingy girl I met online



## daaaaave (Jan 1, 2007)

I just met this girl online yesterday on IM from a personals ad I placed. We talked on the phone last night and today. Now this girl is unlike anything I have ever experienced. She is asking me all these personal questions already ("have you ever been in love", "are you a virgin", "how many girls have you slept with"....etc etc). I have not been in a relationship so I don't know if this is normal or not?? What she does is different from most girls I have known...she just picks 1 guy and pursues a relationship hard with that guy. We talked for 80 minutes just today and last night about an hour. She is kinda manipulative and a lot of it is her saying how I am too guarded cause I won't answer all her questions and I just say I am slow to open up to people. I wasn't taking this too serious at first, but now that I think about it, even if it is kinda weird she is being so clingy and hasn't even met me yet, I feel like this is a good thing cause she might actually make me open up. She is very good at asking me about emotions and tough questions and I've never had anything like that so I feel like she is sorta being a psychologist and some stuff is coming to the surface. It is kinda annoying how much she talks and is manipulative though. I am probably gonna meet her either tomorrow or next week. does anybody have any thoughts on this?


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## barnabas (Apr 24, 2007)

Judging from the questions she's asked... I think she's just desperate for a relationship.


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## LoneLioness (Nov 16, 2003)

I think she just sounds like a smart girl who wants to get to know a guy fast so she can see if theres any potential sooner rather then later. But if you're not as into being open and clingy as she is you 2 probably aren't compatible.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

if you've never had a relationship before, who cares, go for it


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## daaaaave (Jan 1, 2007)

We talked again for 45 minutes. She has backed off the personal questions and apologized actually even though she didn't have to. We had a conversation I was much more comfortable with today and she showed a lot more depth so I am more interested now. She is coming down here tomorrow.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

Just go meet her and if she's annoying don't go out with her again. I can imagine that it must be very grating to have a conversation/date be more like an interview or psychiatric session than something romantic.

Did you turn the questions around on her and ask her how many guys she's been with, if she's ever been in love, etc.? It's only fair. You can't let it just be one-sided. If you answer something really personal like that you have to ask her the same thing. If you allow her to completely control the conversation then you won't have any "hand" in the conversation (to borrow another "Seinfeld" phrase).

I hope it goes well for you and let us know what happens when you meet.


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## daaaaave (Jan 1, 2007)

Yeah I asked her the same questions. The thing is she is very open and will answer anything. Also, despite the sexual questions she asked, she isn't a **** from her answers. She is extremely friendly and outgoing, but she says she understands I am not as open right now.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

It sounds like you're feeling more comfortable and that she might be a good person to date after all. Is she good looking or haven't you seen her photo? Good luck and be sure to give us desperate, dateless dudes details of how it went.


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## daaaaave (Jan 1, 2007)

Yes, I have seen many photos of her and she is very pretty.


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## mindfulgirl (May 7, 2007)

Good luck! Let us know how it goes.


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## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

Daaave you're kicking butt online. It's like you meet a new girl every week! lol...it's good that you guys can talk so much, just have fun, I'm sure it will go well. At first I thought maybe she was kind of desperate for a date to ask you those kind of personal questions, but maybe that's just her personality. She seems nice...when you see her, maybe you want to smile and give her a big hug =)


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

Sometimes, women are in a big hurry to get married or start a committed relationship. These women tend to treat dates much like "interviews" for possible candidates.

Or...as LoneLionness said, maybe she's just a smart, savvy lady who's sick and tired of the "games" in dating, and she wants to measure you up as soon as possible.



Strength said:


> At first I thought maybe she was kind of desperate for a date to ask you those kind of personal questions, but maybe that's just her personality. She seems nice...when you see her, maybe you want to smile and give her a big hug =)


 :agree Go for it. Get to know her better. Just be wary, so that her manipulation doesn't get out of hand. I like how she apologized to you, on her own accord--that's a good sign. It shows she's open-minded and willing to compromise.


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## daaaaave (Jan 1, 2007)

I have no clue what to do!! She couldn't come down on Friday so we aren't going to meet until next weekend (she is driving 4 hours to see me!), but we are talking on the phone for hours every day. She is great, she's very nice, smart, good values, funny, and we get along well, BUT she is very very emotional. She wanted to be my girlfriend and it took me a while and she felt rejected, but now she is my girlfriend. But, tonight she said "I think I love you" and that is just way too fast for me and I haven't met her yet! So now she is very upset, but I just don't think she is being rational about this and I'm afraid she is loving someone who I am not. I don't know what to do!!!


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

i dunno. two years ago, i met someone online who was similar. we went out three times only but she still calls me from time to time. even after ive asked her not to call me. she just got too attached to me and that was not what i was looking for


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

daaaaave said:


> But, tonight she said "I think I love you" and that is just way too fast for me and I haven't met her yet! So now she is very upset, but I just don't think she is being rational


Personally, it would turn me off immensely if someone was like that, especially after _three days_ of knowing me, and without ever meeting. I would not talk to the person any more. But if you really like her, you should probably at least give her a chance in person.


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

> She wanted to be my girlfriend and it took me a while and she felt rejected, but now she is my girlfriend.


That reminds me of when I used to put personals in the local paper and this one guy, while talking to me for the first time on the phone, had us married and having kids... If I were you, I'd run as fast as I can.

You haven't even met her in person yet and you're her b/f? To me, that's a huge *RED FLAG* What if things don't work out? I would think that taking it slow and not placing so many expectations would be better than making it to 'itemhood' even before you even meet. At least then, it would be easier to not see her again if things didn't work out. Now, you're more or less committed to her.

Also, just the fact that she felt rejected when she was pressuring you into being her b/f says a lot. I'm sure that she's probably a nice person in general but... I think your initial evaluation of her as clingy and manipulative is spot on.


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## daaaaave (Jan 1, 2007)

I don't know guys. It's not as if she is crazy, she just has this need to make these declarations so early on. She called this morning and she was a little more reasonable, but it's obvious she wants to be in love. I'm a little afraid of that, but if I really was in love with her, I think things would be great. I guess she has to feel wanted.


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## mal (Mar 26, 2007)

I sort of like the idea of being upfront early on with questions, but the loving you bit is rather odd. How can she love anyone after 3 days of phone calls & messages ? :um


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## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

Well I don't think you have anything to lose. You definetly should meet her and see how things are, it sure beats sitting around doing nothing.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

I would also be really turned off if someone said they loved me without having met me. I don't know what advice to give you other than to meet her and see what happens. To be honest, I don't know why you would want to meet or communicate with someone who lives four hours away. I wouldn't even want to meet someone who lived 30 minutes away.


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## Molbrew (Oct 28, 2004)

I'd be really worried if i were you. Things are moving too fast. Way too fast. And I imagine if you do get into a serious relationship with her it will end real fast and she'll leave you and fall for another guy in like two seconds. She could be a love addict, but who knows.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Just be careful mate. Did she say she loved you? That's a red flag there, but maybe she's worth a go?


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## daaaaave (Jan 1, 2007)

She didn't say she loved me...she said she "thinks she loves me." Apparently she thinks there is a difference, but I don't really know what the heck that means. I don't know why she makes these announcements to me. We have great conversations otherwise and I am getting better at keeping her from saying those things. We do get along really really well so I am happy to have her as my girlfriend, but I am worried she was just looking for a relationship.


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## InTheWorldOfNiM (Oct 3, 2010)

honestly, while I don't know your situation, I think I would be pretty fine with that to be honest. I think I'd be kinda happy though it be better once we had met first but still, I'd rather be certain than be left in a state of uncertainty.


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## InTheWorldOfNiM (Oct 3, 2010)

damnet, just noticed you were banned. WTH!!! I wanted updates.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

The thing is, I dont see things moving too fast as a problem.

Maybe she wanted to know what type of person you are by asking them questions. Perhaps she knows she wants and is ready for a relationship...but doesnt want to waste time playing it slow and finding out after a while that your not the guy for her.

Personally I would rush a relationship. I would want to find out as much as possible about them in a short space of time, find out their intentions, what they want and of course what we have in common.

Im completely ready to commit and be in a loving relationship and im not desperate, but I dont want to spend months taking it slow only to find out theres no way we could work, cause in that time I could of met someone that I could get it to work with


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

This thread is five years old guys...


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

oops


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## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

*scratch that - old thread is old*


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## InTheWorldOfNiM (Oct 3, 2010)

pete24 said:


> The thing is, I dont see things moving too fast as a problem.
> 
> Maybe she wanted to know what type of person you are by asking them questions. Perhaps she knows she wants and is ready for a relationship...but doesnt want to waste time playing it slow and finding out after a while that your not the guy for her.
> 
> ...


agreed!


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## lonelyjew (Jan 20, 2010)

InTheWorldOfNiM said:


> honestly, while I don't know your situation, I think I would be pretty fine with that to be honest. I think I'd be kinda happy though it be better once we had met first but still, I'd rather be certain than be left in a state of uncertainty.


Honestly, what possesses people to bring back random 5 year old threads?


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