# The consequences of the lack of "physical" contact



## SebastianMaximus (Oct 8, 2011)

Hi guys,

What consequences (perhaps long term) does a lack of "physical" contact with the opposite sex have? I am not just talking about sex, but also kisses, hugs, well physical contact in general - also, what consequences does a late sexual debut have. 

Does anyone know if there are any articles written on the subject? If so, be so kind as to post them or link to them.

Feel also free to post your own thoughts on the subject.

My own though: well, I personally have no experience on any kind of physical contact with the opposite sex, but I am almost certain that it can´t be a good thing to lack it. A mate once told me that "sex" was good for a mans heart, simply put, but I kind of understand the deeper meaning behind the words.

Best Wishes
Sebastian M.


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## Lyrical Lonely (Oct 5, 2011)

SebastianMaximus said:


> My own though: well, I personally have no experience on any kind of physical contact with the opposite sex, but I am almost certain that it can´t be a good thing to lack it. A mate once told me that "sex" was good for a mans heart, simply put, but I kind of understand the deeper meaning behind the words.
> 
> Best Wishes
> Sebastian M.


Sex has been proven to be good for your heart and contribute to a longer lifespan. I don't have any links but look that up, those studies are all over.

And hugs are good, too. "A brief hug and 10 minutes of handholding with a romantic partner greatly reduce the harmful physical effects of stress..." http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2003-03-09-hug-usat_x.htm


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## SebastianMaximus (Oct 8, 2011)

From the article:

"The findings suggest one reason that isolated, lonely people tend to have poorer health, says Ohio State University psychologist Janice Kiecolt-Glaser"

Damn:blank


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## Zima (Jul 6, 2011)

I can tell you first hand, the effects are there and they're pretty severe. I've been single(and not seeing anyone) for 8 months, and I'm more stressed and irritable than I'd normally be, and I'm becoming more cold and distant to people and my defensive barriers are up higher than ever...I damn near crave physical connection - NOT sex, but a long hug, or cuddling...I think about that every day, and whenever life throws crap at me I just wish someone would hold me, because I haven't felt that in so long. 

Not that I show this in any way, but it's on my mind all the time. Way more than sex. 

And sex *has* been proven to have positive benefits already.


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

Lyrical Lonely said:


> Sex has been proven to be good for your heart and contribute to a longer lifespan. I don't have any links but look that up, those studies are all over.
> 
> And hugs are good, too. "A brief hug and 10 minutes of handholding with a romantic partner greatly reduce the harmful physical effects of stress..." http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2003-03-09-hug-usat_x.htm


brb dying at 40


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

I hear ones testicles may drop off. Currently duct taped mine to my leg to ensure this does not happen.


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## BlazingLazer (Jul 16, 2011)

shadowmask said:


> brb dying at 40


Where do you have to go?


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## humourless (Sep 27, 2011)

This is a nice thread...and it's hard for me to admit that Yes..I need huggin' too! (fortunately I have a wife for that ) I was brought up in a very loving but undemonstrative family...my parents were too shy to show affection to us as we got older.(after 9 years of age)
lack of touch is a problem and the main reason I didn't become a priest or monk!


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## Bloody Pit Of Horror (Aug 15, 2011)

I want a hug, cuddle in front of the tele, and sleep with someone in my arms at night.


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## GunnyHighway (Sep 28, 2010)

I know that I have lacked it nearly my whole life, and I do believe it has had a negative effect on me to this day. 

It's like something I am in a constant search for. Days that I have gotten hugs from people other than family (a whopping total of three since I can remember) have been relatively anxiety free. It's like physical contact melted my SA away temporarily.


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## Lanter (Aug 3, 2011)

Bloody Pit Of Horror said:


> I want a hug, cuddle in front of the tele, and sleep with someone in my arms at night.


You don't really do your name justice. :lol

OT;
It's fine really, I bet living a long healthy life isn't what it's cracked up to be anyhow.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

There was a study a few years ago about how cat owners have lower rates of heart disease. And yeah, it's true, people with few friends are more likely to die early. Especially single men, because they resist going to the doctor if there is no wife to push for it.

http://health.usnews.com/usnews/health/healthday/080221/cats-help-shield-owners-from-heart-attack.htm

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/07/19/the-nagging-effect-better-health-for-married-men/


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## mind_games (Nov 30, 2008)

I think (non sexual) physical contact is pretty important in and out of a romantic relationship. It makes one feel human, connected, and in a relationship it makes each partner feel loved even when there is no sex involved. I've even noticed that when my relatives do it to me (with hugs, pats on the back, kids playing with me) it creates a closer rapport than if they were to avoid all physical contact with me - despite the fact that I don't like them that much or feel comfortable around them.

This is one big reason I ended up liking dancing classes. :lol

This reminds me of a thread I made about 'skin hunger' a while ago.


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

I've spent my entire life without ever experiencing those things so I can't say for sure how much difference it would make. But I can say its on my mind constantly and I know the lack of physical intimacy plays a major role in my rather constant state of depression. I have nothing to look forward to, I leave work and come home to an empty house and an empty bed. I've become bitter and withdrawn over the years, the few friends I had mostly abandoned me after they got married and started families. I mostly keep to myself...I don't try getting close to people anymore because I've been rejected and abandoned by others my whole life. I try to focus on work instead, when I'm home on the weekends I usually force myself to constantly stay busy with something as a distraction from the loneliness and emptiness. I rarely leave home on the weekends because its too painful to see couples together everywhere, so I don't get out much anymore. So yeah...I know a total lack of intimacy has had a negative impact on my psychological health. I'm a sad, lonely man and not satisfied with my life at all because of it.


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## Ballerina (Jul 14, 2011)

I'm surprised someone like me hasn't posted yet, though I'm sure they willll. My last hug was a few months ago, but my second last was 22 months, or 2 1/2 years ago. I only recall the exact date because it was an incidentally important one. Other than that, the other physical contact I've experienced in the last 2 1/2 years has been a very rare handshake. 
I didn't even consider it a negative thing until this thread. I want to say it has the same significance as killing a bug, but I love bugs. :heart :heart It has very literally the same significance to me as whether an accountant in Japan decides to have Cocopops or Rice Bubbles for breakfast cereal today. I would have written Cocopops or Special K Berry, but I realized that part of me was rooting for the latter because it would be a more health-conscious and berrylicious experience for him, and that's more emotion than I feel toward lack of physical contact. Rice Bubbles and Cocopops are more in the same league for me (to hell with Cocopops propagandists!) (my civil rights have been violated for the last time!).
Anyway, for me it hasn't had a consequence, nor has my lack of socialization, though in response to your question apparently for the average person it does.


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## sansd (Mar 22, 2006)

People who aren't getting physical contact would also tend to not get the emotional support that would come from relationships, so it would be hard to study only the effects of physical contact or lack thereof.


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## jonesy852 (Oct 12, 2011)

Ospi said:


> I hear ones testicles may drop off. Currently duct taped mine to my leg to ensure this does not happen.


duct tape will lose its stickiness after a while. I recommend stitching them to your thigh.


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

max4225 said:


> Kind of like that saying 'a picture is worth a thousand words', so is touch. It's a language in it's own right. Sometimes we dream in the touch language. When you stop having touch dreams that's not so good. Never sharing physical contact is like locking yourself in a box never having access to this whole other world. *You start talking to yourself and maybe make you go a little crazy crazy..*


uh oh! :afr

Its not necessarily a sign of a mental problem though, is it?


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

Ballerina said:


> I'm surprised someone like me hasn't posted yet, though I'm sure they willll. My last hug was a few months ago, but my second last was 22 months, or 2 1/2 years ago. I only recall the exact date because it was an incidentally important one. Other than that, the other physical contact I've experienced in the last 2 1/2 years has been a very rare handshake.
> I didn't even consider it a negative thing until this thread. I want to say it has the same significance as killing a bug, but I love bugs. :heart :heart It has very literally the same significance to me as whether an accountant in Japan decides to have Cocopops or Rice Bubbles for breakfast cereal today. I would have written Cocopops or Special K Berry, but I realized that part of me was rooting for the latter because it would be a more health-conscious and berrylicious experience for him, and that's more emotion than I feel toward lack of physical contact. Rice Bubbles and Cocopops are more in the same league for me (to hell with Cocopops propagandists!) (my civil rights have been violated for the last time!).
> Anyway, for me it hasn't had a consequence, nor has my lack of socialization, though in response to your question apparently for the average person it does.


I happen to get very emotional about Coco Pops. It used to be my favourite cereal, in no small measure due to the fact that it was promoted by a monkey. Unfortunately they don't sell it in North America. They've got something called Cocoa Puffs here which is promoted by some crazy bird, but it's not nearly as good. Um... what were we talking about again?


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

I haven't had anything physical since forever it seems like. I think maybe it's getting to me. I'm all moody and all. It's sometimes nice to have something.


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## Ballerina (Jul 14, 2011)

Ape in space said:


> I happen to get very emotional about Coco Pops. It used to be my favourite cereal, in no small measure due to the fact that it was promoted by a monkey. Unfortunately they don't sell it in North America. They've got something called Cocoa Puffs here which is promoted by some crazy bird, but it's not nearly as good. Um... what were we talking about again?





> (to hell with Cocopops propagandists!) (my civil rights have been violated for the last time!).


I KNEW IT. I KNEW ONE OF YOU WOULD ARISE. Insulting Coco Pops is like projecting the bat signal. Coco Pops propagandists flock toward you. If I ever lose my compass in the North American woods and become lost for days on end and run out of food and water, I'm going to insult Coco Pops. Out of nowhere, three hikers will approach from a distance and exclaim, "Wow, I _thought _I heard something!! My God, are you alright? Do you need help? ...Did you say something about not liking the texture of Coco Pops? Because you know, it's meant to be eaten with milk. 'Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!'"

Bahahaha monkey. "I'm cuckoo for Coco Puffs"? I don't know how I know that motto. :sus It doesn't taste as good?  Awww, that's a shame. I actually love Coco Pops too, now that I've considered it. Chocolate-y.


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## keithp (Mar 13, 2007)

komorikun said:


> There was a study a few years ago about how cat owners have lower rates of heart disease. And yeah, it's true, people with few friends are more likely to die early. Especially single men, because they resist going to the doctor if there is no wife to push for it.
> 
> http://health.usnews.com/usnews/hea...cats-help-shield-owners-from-heart-attack.htm
> 
> http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/07/19/the-nagging-effect-better-health-for-married-men/


I'm a cat owner and my blood pressure is good, but I am a single man and I always go to all my doctor checkups each year, so that's a myth about single men not going.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

keithp said:


> I'm a cat owner and my blood pressure is good, but I am a single man and I always go to all my doctor checkups each year, so that's a myth about single men not going.


You may be the exception to the rule.


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## username91 (Oct 13, 2011)

I never hughed, kissed, affectionately touched a girl before and it's killing me inside( and I had the opportunity before, several times). But I just couldn' do it, there's something deep in the back of my mind always preventing me from doing the things I really want.
I spend months thinking about being close to a girl, by the minute i start to notice one of them geting closer to me I start to run away. Maybe I fear the unknown, maybe i'm afraid they don't like the "real" me ( which is probably true), I haven't found the reason yet for why I keep self sabotaging myself.


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## Syndacus (Aug 9, 2011)

I went without physical contact for about 7 years, I never really had physical contact when I was a baby or little kid to begin with other than being pushed, smacked around or kicked.

I'm still self-conscious on who's touching me and I'm still not keen on strangers or friends touching me. It took me awhile to even undress in front of my girlfriend for a bit because I was afraid she'll turn away or get repulsed by it. I nearly freaked out when she hugged me the first time because I usually expect getting smacked afterwards.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I haven't hugged anyone in a long time, maybe a year. Oh wait, I take that back. My dad miraculously gave me one in June at the end of my visit. I'm very stiff, even if I have friends I will rarely if ever initiate a hug. Within my family I never got much of any hugs except from my mom (she died when I was 17) when I was little. Well, maybe from my dad when I was very little. I was more comfortable with my mom and I still have a photo of me sitting on her lap at age 12. I used to do that as a joke and she would call me her big baby. She had very nice hands too. I love hands.

So since adulthood, almost all the hugs I've gotten were from boyfriends. Now, I prefer men's hands. I tried holding my sister's hands but they are so small and delicate, they just don't do it for me, don't feel comforted. 

It was a bit of a shocker moving to South America. They touch a lot. If you're female you have to kiss both men and women on the cheek when you meet them and if you know them to an extent many will give you a hug at the same time. So moving back to America, I get touched much less. It was kind of weird one time, I went on an internet date with this American guy a few months after moving back here. A date is more intimate than just meeting a new person, so I couldn't help feeling weirded out when he picked me up and there was no smooch on the cheek or even hug. Currently my only comfort is the computer and my blankets.


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## watashi (Feb 6, 2008)

What happens is you slowly go insane. Then you adobt a bunch of cats to compensate for lack of companionship and affection.


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## super (Sep 9, 2009)

pretty sure in long term it is not good at all, as humans we are meant to feel all of this stuff and not getting it isnt good.

it doesnt matter who, from your mother or father, girl or guy.
its good for you.


i truely feel bad for older virgins, they NEED to have sex. sorry to you guys that read this but even if you say ''oh i don't feel the urge to have sex'' or ''im waiting until i find the right girl'' and you are over 25, then you need to get laid.

its human nature and i honestly think its unhealthy.

although i was 15 when i first had sex it boosted my confidence a lot, then it went to **** due to an unfortunate string of events which along came mr anxiety again....

anyway the point is, you need physical contact.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

I've had physical contact before but it was like a temporary high and I honestly don't see the point in touching other people. I hate having to hug and stuff even family, it feels awkward. I think it only affects peoples' health negatively if they actually want it and aren't getting it, then it becomes an issue.


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## rgrwng (Aug 25, 2011)

besides handshakes and quickie hugs, i do not like to be touched.

i was physically abused as a child for 14 years, so i do not like to be touched with hands or objects. i do not like when people are holding things while pointing at me, because it looks like they want to hit me sometimes, and i do not like to be touched on my upper arms, torso or head. if people are pointing at me, they must be more than 3 feet away, or i start to feel very scared. even the joking motions of hitting (putting up the open pimp hand) makes me very scared.

Probably the rest of my body, too, because i was spanked with various objects, as well. Okay, so maybe i just do not like to be touched, at all. i have surely had a lack of "positive" physical contact so far in life.


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## RetroDoll (Jun 25, 2011)

whatever the consequences are, they're probably drastically overblown


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

I like to tell myself that I don't care for other people but really... I miss being touched physically. I've never been kissed or anything like that, but I have been hugged before & snuggled with someone. It was like Heaven...

Then - he moved away, along with me becoming mentally ill. I told him that I would be willing to take our relationship far when he came back. (Meaning sex basically.) But... he told me to "move on from him".

So .. I got dumped.


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## idksureiguessso (Oct 13, 2011)

ive been talking to people a lot less the past few weeks and now find it really difficult to think of anything worth saying around people


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## Haunty (Oct 24, 2008)

This is something that I worry about a little.

I've been very touch-deprived for most of my life. I seem ultra-sensitive to touch now, if someone puts their hand on my shoulder, I jump and tense-up. I dated a gal a few years ago, she tried giving me a back rub, she could only gently run her hand on the surface because it was so overwhelming. 

I'm like an untamed quivering bunny when it comes to that.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

I'd say it has a detrimental effect, but not as much as the root problems that cause us not to touch or to feel able to touch others. The lack of touch and physical intimacy can make your problems worse, most likely, just by cutting you off even further. I've never, ever had more than a handshake or light, uneasy hug with anyone, and I'm not a well guy. If a bare bones lack of physical contact has affected me, perhaps I could say that it's only exacerbated my already prevalent feeling of disconnectedness. I absolutely crave the idea of cuddling and physical intimacy, but it's unlikely.


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## zomgz (Aug 17, 2009)

I don't really like being touched unless I _invite_ them in my person space. If you touch me when I don't want to be touched them you will end up as my sworn enemy for all eternity! Not like if someone accidentally brushes up against me, though it is uncomfortable. I mean if someone put their hand on my arm or back or attempted to hug me without me wanting a hug.

Is it unhealthy? Probably


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