# shy bladder/paruresis



## contranigma (Jun 24, 2009)

I realized that I don't think I've made a thread just about this, or I haven't for a long time.

I have shy bladder/paruresis and I know I've seen others post that they can't pee in public, but does anyone else feel that this is the main cause of their social anxiety?

For me, it feels like it is a major contributing factor if not the cause, because I have been very fearful of social events since middle school. It was then that it became a big problem for me, because I held my pee for the full school day and on some occasions for considerably longer because of field trips. So I began to have obsessive thoughts and behaviors, like not drinking anything throughout the day so that I wouldn't have to pee. Then I would worry about becoming dehydrating from not drinking anything.

Anyway, the main point is that this fear grew to the point where I became avoidant of social situations because I feared I would have to pee and wouldn't be able to because there would be a busy bathroom. So through middle school, high school, college, and even now I avoid people because of this. I really feel that if this wasn't an issue for me, I would be a lot more open to social activities.

There is a website and a forum specifically for this phobia, and I was using it before I found this website. There are also weekend workshops in larger cities where cognitive behaviorial therapy is used in a restroom setting. This would probably be the best thing for me, but I never wanted to have my parents cover the cost of this workshop, so I'm still waiting to become financially independent to give it a go.

Has shy bladder been this much of an issue for others on this site?


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

Shy bladder syndrome is a real biggie for me, and is definetly one of the number one causes of my SA. If anyone can hear or see me pissing at all, then i will struggle to go. Most guys my age in this country tend to go out drinking a lot (on a social level) which is always a complete nightmare for me, drinking lots of alcohol in crowded places is always tricky for me. I've lost count of the amount of times ive had to bail from bars, nightclubs, concerts....etc, because i simply couldnt piss when people were around, not even in the cubicles :blank

Sometimes i feel like im getting a hold of this condition, then i'll have one bad night with it and im back to square one.

I absolutely despise having paruesis. Not being able to perform one of the most basic human functions makes me feel like the most pathetic and worthless person on the face of the planet.


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## contranigma (Jun 24, 2009)

nemesis1 said:


> I absolutely despise having paruesis. Not being able to perform one of the most basic human functions makes me feel like the most pathetic and worthless person on the face of the planet.


I feel for you. Bars are one of the scariest situations for me, too. Two factors are working against someone with shy bladder. 1) you are drinking, so you will have to pee 2) everyone else is drinking so they will have to pee which means the bathroom is crowded as ****.


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## olmert (Dec 21, 2008)

*Help for shy bladder sufferers*

The International Paruresis Association (IPA), a nonprofit based in Baltimore, offers help and support for shy bladder sufferers, their partners & friends, and health care professionals who treat them.

Please visit http://www.paruresis.org .

Women who suffer from this condition are advised to go to www.bathroomsmakemenervous.com for further information.


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## contranigma (Jun 24, 2009)

olmert said:


> The International Paruresis Association (IPA), a nonprofit based in Baltimore, offers help and support for shy bladder sufferers, their partners & friends, and health care professionals who treat them.
> 
> Please visit http://www.paruresis.org .
> 
> Women who suffer from this condition are advised to go to www.bathroomsmakemenervous.com for further information.


Yeah, paruresis.org is the site that I mention in my original post. I've always heard from that site and from the book that about 10% of the population suffers from shy bladder to some extent, so I'm really surprised that there isn't more people on this site who can relate. Maybe it is more rare than I have been led to believe.


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## twinkle2 (Jan 15, 2011)

mine isnt exactly shy bladder but fowlers syndrome and im in complete retention so no matter how full my bladder is i cant just go to the toilet. the only way of emptying my bladder is with a catheter and i refuse to use them outside my home as it causes so much anxiety. i have an op coming up and hopefully it will help so i can at least pass small amounts while im out. that way although ill always have something left behind in my bladder it will empty enough to ease the pain/discomfort that comes with 1000ml plus in the bladder!
i hate it and think if i could get this sorted my anxiety would be reduced


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## Letty123 (Jun 11, 2011)

Maybe a good idea to try would be not going into the bathroom with the intention of peeing. It sounds weird but just tell yourself that although you are going into the bathroom, you are not focused on peeing and that it is not your primary goal. Just go in to sit and relax and think about your day or something. When you are unable to pee due to anxiousness, you feel defeated. You give up on trying to go and leave the restroom with a full bladder. This lowers your self esteem about going pee in public, setting you up for future similar incidents.This is because you are so intent on peeing when you go into the bathroom that if you don't accomplish your goal then you are surely going to feel utterly defeated. Pauretics put so much more emphasis on peeing than the rest of the world does. If you stop going into the restroom with such a huge intent on peeing, then you feel less pressure. The next time you have to go pee in public just tell yourself "I'm going into this without any expectation of peeing and if I don't pee, that's ok, I probably wasn't going to be able to anyways with my prior way of thinking." While in the restroom, find something to do such as listening to your music player or looking at pictures on your phone or thinking about future plans. Then, after a little while, try to pee. Don't really think about it just start trying. In fact, you could just start off by not even trying to pee at all for a couple times. Just go into the bathroom, do something that interests you or is relaxing, and then leave. After a couple times, start trying to pee after a little while in the bathroom. The important thing is to grow comfortable in the bathroom. For those with anxiety issues, a lot of there issues stem from a lack of peace and comfort in their surroundings. People have to stop putting so much pressure on themselves to go pee and not corncern themselves with other peoples reactions and feelings. There is no reason to care about what other people think of you. First, it is impossible to know for sure what someone else thinks. Second, you have to come first. You must be more important to yourself than any other human being. If they are judging you, which they usually aren't, so be it. Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be. The "condition" of pauresis is not really a condition at all, as those that deal with it are unintentionally bringing it upon themselves. You are your own worst enemy sometimes, and this is what people have realize. In addition, another helpful tip is to wear earplugs in the restroom. Also, sometimes, if it comes down to it, just tell yourself you are going to stay in the restroom as long as it takes to go pee. Tell yourself that people can think all that they want, but your health and happiness is most important. Trust me, taking an hour to go pee will not have a huge negative impact on your life and won't lead to any unhappiness. The only thing that will lead to your unhappiness is holding your bladder. Just have patience with yourself and stay determined and impenetrable and at peace with yourself and life. You have the right to a good life with happiness and without this unnecessary problem. Lastly, this is such a silly, yet unfortunate mental issue that is NOT forever. That is, you can and will forget about it at some point in time. It WILL go away and it's important to have faith. Hopefully, everyone is able to move on from this struggle soon and enjoy their life to the fullest.


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## OldSchoolSkater (Jun 3, 2011)

Yes. I suffer from this to an extent. Not sure when it started - but it causes me quite a bit of trouble at times. Like you said, leaving or avoiding situations because of this. Sometimes I am ok and can make it work but other times I can't and it just plain sucks.


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## blueeagle (Jun 16, 2011)

nemesis1 said:


> Shy bladder syndrome is a real biggie for me, and is definetly one of the number one causes of my SA. *If anyone can hear or see me pissing at all, then i will struggle to go*. Most guys my age in this country tend to go out drinking a lot (on a social level) which is always a complete nightmare for me, drinking lots of alcohol in crowded places is always tricky for me. I've lost count of the amount of times ive had to bail from bars, nightclubs, concerts....etc, because i simply couldnt piss when people were around, not even in the cubicles :blank
> 
> Sometimes i feel like im getting a hold of this condition, then i'll have one bad night with it and im back to square one.
> 
> I absolutely despise having paruesis. Not being able to perform one of the most basic human functions makes me feel like the most pathetic and worthless person on the face of the planet.


haha same here... And also i can't use those urinals. Everyone sees each other's penis. God that's horrible...


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## StevenGlansberg (Apr 1, 2009)

If you have friends you can kind of joke with it about it helps. Especially if they're going out with you, you can kind of tell them hey I'm gonna go pee and they'll be like good luck! And they can go with you.

If I'm out somewhere I'll just go in and out of the bathroom until I go. If people notice it then oh well, lol.


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## TJG255 (Jun 27, 2011)

I've had this disorder since i was in middle school and it still has a significant impact of my day to day functions and overall personality in social situations, Ive gone to two seminars for it (one when i was 16 and one 17, I'm now 24) and the seminars were really beneficial for not only the information and practice but also the support and realizing your not the only person with this disorder and its so comforting hearing everyone explain their stories and how similar everyones thought process and patterns were to get through a normal day with this. some things ive learned to ease it are just going in and sitting on the toilet in a public rest room, if someone things that im having a **** then i feel like the pressure is off and i find it much easier to go, normally a 100% success rate, although this option isnt always available. Also at bars I will go and scope them out first and know the bathroom situation, if theres a low chance that i will be successful at urinating i just wont drink as much, however sometimes i will drink more until im drunk and then i dont seem to care as much and it can be easier to urinate, ive even been successful urinating in crowded troughs at some points (i was wasted every time) so thats something else i consider, do i drink soooo much where i will have to urinate but just not care, or do i hold off drinking so i can avoid the bathroom. sorry for the rambling and no sense of direction with this but there are options and everyone is effected at different levels i just hope everyone can find some type of relief from this disorder because it will truely take over your life


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## Oscar7 (May 20, 2011)

I have this, too. Unless, there are those, uhh, mini-walls in between, then it's much easier. But I sometimes worry about having to pee and there being people there, so I tend to wait for quiet moments. It sucks. But imagine happy thoughts, I guess. Waterfalls or something, haha.


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## SciFiGeek17 (Oct 19, 2009)

To be honest, shy bladder is 99% of the reason I'm socially anxious and that really frustrates me, because I know things would improve and be positively different if I didn't suffer from this.

I actually have one of two things, the shy bladder and then if I have any kind of juices, sugars, spices and/or sauces (plus a few other things) my bladder becomes inflamed and irritated bad enough I constantly run to the bathroom between every 2-15 minutes. I've been able to avoid most but there are some ingredients you just can't escape. So between my nervousness and actually physical problem, it's a nightmare. 

I barely function at home. This last thanksgiving my brother came up and just having even a few people around makes me nervous and I spent almost the whole time in my bedroom crying and sort of yelling because I was too nervous to go and was holding several glasses of water for 5+ hours. And my brother stayed the night, prolonging the sever experience until the morning and barely slept.

I try to be positive and hope for the best, that one day I'll get over it. I try breathing techniques, calming myself down, listen to some music or read something in order to distract my mind enough to feel comfortable to go, but it's a 50/50 result.

I really get frustrated because I wish I could be like others around me who don't seem to have this problem. I'd like to be able to just go to the bathroom when my body tells me and then be done with it. It's just stressing me out too much and ruining my ability to live...


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## contranigma (Jun 24, 2009)

SciFiGeek17 said:


> I actually have one of two things, the shy bladder and then if I have any kind of juices, sugars, spices and/or sauces (plus a few other things) my bladder becomes inflamed and irritated bad enough I constantly run to the bathroom between every 2-15 minutes. I've been able to avoid most but there are some ingredients you just can't escape. So between my nervousness and actually physical problem, it's a nightmare.


I seem to have an overactive bladder at times, too. Even if I don't drink much of anything I may have to go every 15 minutes for a while randomly. That definitely makes shy bladder that much tougher to deal with. I knew a guy with shy bladder that felt comfortable holding his urine for an 8 hour car trip with friends, while drinking. Now that's a bladder!


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## contranigma (Jun 24, 2009)

TJG255 said:


> Also at bars I will go and scope them out first and know the bathroom situation...


That's a good idea. Bars are definitely the location I fear most with shy bladder.


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## angiemarie (Dec 26, 2011)

My main issue with social Anxiety has to do with bathrooms, but it's kind of the opposite of what you are saying. I haven't gone to the movie theater or to the mall in YEARS, and crowded places in general give me panic attacks, because I start thinking I need to use the restroom, if I'm not near one. It seriously is a NIGHTMARE. Especially on planes, if I'm not seated near the restroom.


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## SciFiGeek17 (Oct 19, 2009)

contranigma said:


> I seem to have an overactive bladder at times, too. Even if I don't drink much of anything I may have to go every 15 minutes for a while randomly. That definitely makes shy bladder that much tougher to deal with. I knew a guy with shy bladder that felt comfortable holding his urine for an 8 hour car trip with friends, while drinking. Now that's a bladder!


I recently did some extensive research and looks like I most likely have IC(Interstitial Cystitis). Just joined a forum I found to get support, though the only really thing you can do is avoid what effects you the most, there is no cure and everyone is different.


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## In a Lonely Place (Mar 26, 2012)

I have suffered with this for 20yrs and it's made my life a misery and a huge factor in why i've missed out on so much.Just makes me cringe when i think about times i had to hold it all day and the pain and akwardness with people chatting away unawares of the misery im going through.Pathetic really,i'm embarrassed and ashamed that i've wasted my life through crap like this


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

I consider it to be one of manifestations of my SA not the cause. Bars are one of the worst places. This place I liked to go in college only had two stalls and a long line, which was a nightmarish scenario.


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

Urinals. *shudder* Am I right, guys?


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## ToucanSam (Mar 22, 2012)

contranigma said:


> does anyone else feel that this is the main cause of their social anxiety?


*YES !!!*


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## In a Lonely Place (Mar 26, 2012)

5Guys1Punch said:


> Dude just go to the bathroom and act like you have to dump. Sit down in a stall and piss. No one has to know, they just think you're taking a manly bowel movement. Problem solved. Dignity held high.


I have done this in the past but when that muscle clamps up and i'm close to a panic attack i've actually failed at peeing sitting down before.It goes through my head that other guys might know what i'm doing and it makes me feel embarrassed/ashamed or less of a man even.


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## ToucanSam (Mar 22, 2012)

mark101 said:


> It goes through my head that other guys might know what i'm doing and it makes me feel embarrassed/ashamed or less of a man even.


Yep, same here.

Anyway, the pee-in-a-stall technique is unreliable, because there are often only a couple of stalls and in a busy area, they are probably occupied.

Anyway, public stalls are usually gross. I went into one tonight where some a**h*le had pissed all over the floor, about a quart.


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

When i go to piss in the cubicle i get paranoid that people can see my feet facing the other way through the gap at the bottom, so they know im trying to piss in there instead of the urinal.


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## Shredder (Apr 19, 2011)

Double Indemnity said:


> I consider it to be one of manifestations of my SA not the cause. Bars are one of the worst places. This place I liked to go in college only had two stalls and a long line, which was a nightmarish scenario.


 I agree ... its stands to reason that anyone with SA is going to have trouble being that close to another person in a toilet. Its just one of the symptoms that I have to deal with in regards to SA. Bars were awful.


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## Shredder (Apr 19, 2011)

5Guys1Punch said:


> Dude just go to the bathroom and act like you have to dump. Sit down in a stall and piss. No one has to know, they just think you're taking a manly bowel movement. Problem solved. Dignity held high.


 haha "manly bowel movement" love that line. what's the difference between a manly and a girlie one?


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## In a Lonely Place (Mar 26, 2012)

Some places have a disabled toilet but they're really strict on only letting people in wheelchairs use them,i feel we should be able to apply for a licence to use those on account of how something most take for granted becomes such a traumatic experience for us

Failing that i'm seriously considering a piss bag


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## RoflSaurus (Feb 25, 2012)

In highschool I used to lock the door in the bathroom when it was empty so no one could come in, lol.


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## ToucanSam (Mar 22, 2012)

nemesis1 said:


> When i go to piss in the cubicle i get paranoid that people can see my feet facing the other way through the gap at the bottom, so they know im trying to piss in there instead of the urinal.


Agreed, but I try to keep in mind some good advice I got once: before you resolve your discomfort of peeing at a urinal, you must first resolve your discomfort of peeing in a stall.

It makes sense - if I am self-conscious peeing in a stall, then that self-consciousness will be ten times worse at a urinal.

Also, I see guys peeing in stalls ALL the time.


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## Zarrix (Apr 22, 2008)

I never use urinals these days because of this, unless I'm drunk. I'll even not be able to go despite me being the only person there, have to go to the stalls every time.


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## Shredder (Apr 19, 2011)

5Guys1Punch said:


> *MANLY: *Skip to 1:20 seconds to see a manly bowel movement.


 haha love the sweats and bloody nose!! Now, if that really is a manly one then just call me Tinkerbell :shock 


5Guys1Punch said:


> *GIRLIE: *Typically done discreetly.


 ohh doesn't get much uglier than that!! 3 girls in a hottub and you'd think things were about to go well!

Here's one with the girls doing a great job at BattleS**ts


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## madsiusiack (Apr 25, 2012)

Hi guys, 
my first post here, sorry for my english, it probably sucks...

I'm just searching Internet for every single topic about paruresis trying to find any useful advice how to treat this fuc*** ruining my whole life problem since 10 years. I'm an extreme case, i can't even pee freely at my own home with my family inside. 
It seems all people around the world suffer from it, in Poland there are also quite many of us, we have our own small forum dedicated to paruresis and the only thing which makes me having hope is that some people there have recovered from this ****.
But still there is no simply cure for paruresis, it seems it's all because of our sick psyche and it's extremely difficult to treat, at least for me. 

I've made many researches on causes and mechanisms of developing paruresis in our minds but unfortunately language is still a barrier to sharing them with you.

Now i'm really considering using a catheter outside my home because i'm afraid of wasting my whole life on tormenting myself with paruresis, i prefer pain in my penis rather than losing my life, as some of you mentioned for me paruresis is also a main cause of other anxieties.


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## shymandan (Mar 1, 2012)

I used to suffer extensively from paresis, especially while using a public bathroom. How I got over my fear was with positive self-talk. I had to convince myself that I had to go, and that in fact everyone has to use the bathroom, it's mother nature's way of saying, "what goes in, must be expelled". I know that it is tough for a lot of us that suffer from this condition though.


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## Chpinnlr (May 12, 2012)

I went to a hypnotherapist for my shy bladder, and it has changed my life! I still suffer from Social Anxiety but I can finaly pee in a public restroom. I usualy use a stall out of habit but I have been going to the urinals more and more!


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## skyfly (Jul 11, 2012)

*Shy Bladder No more, NO where!*

I had, well still have this problem for a long time. I'm 37 and it's been going on since I was 11. Their was time when I was younger that it kinda of came and went, but by high school it was here to stay. I wont go into everything I went through, most of you already know all that. I want to tell you how I over came it, discovered I didn't have to worry about it anymore.

I discovered by accident because I was so upset "pissed" off, that I couldn't pee one day. My sister and brother in law where about to arrive and of course I was worrying about how I was going to relieve myself the whole weekend. I was in thw shower, running hot water ya know. Most time it worked well, except when my anxiety was through the rough. Anyways...I just started "pushing" like just "pushing"..I was mad. I was gonna break something in me, or pee. Then all of a sudden a little came out. I got out of the shower and sat down on the pot. I started pushing, like when you have to crap. It took a couple of times of "pushing" then resting, then "pushing" again...for my muscle to finally relax. But I was able to "make" myself pee. I could force myself to. All I had to do was just "push" like when your constipated, and that will do it. If you have much anxiety your going to have to do what I did. That is "push" nothing happens...relax....push....nothing happens...relax.....but in a minute it will happen. You push for about 20 seconds then rest, then go again, till your empty.

This teqhnique becomes easier when your bladder is fuller. If you where like me as soon as you drank a little water or whatever you instanlly started to obsese over where you would pee, how you would pee. I had it so bad I could like make myself "think" I needed to go when I didn't. So learning how to do this allowed me to relax my mind, my thoughts. Their was no longer any worry at all. No I cant use a urinal, but who cares. Set on the pot, who knows, your crapping for all they know.

I still have this problem today. I know it exsists only in my mind, in my thoughts. Knwoing that, has never ever made it better. What has, is knowing I need never again worry about being able to relieve myself, or be in pain for hours on end. It opened up my world again. I use to avoid drinking anything during the day, now I dont. I have a life. I hope this helps someone. You can force yourself to go! Do it, then deal with the mental part as you go along. Thats what I've done. I work on the mental part and have had large sucess, but still for whatever reason my mind reverts back to just "closing" it up. So I revert to "forcing" myself to...it works


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I can't go in the public urinal. I have to go into the stall, and shut the door. Otherwise I can't pee at all.

I saw Dream Theater and Iron Maiden two years ago. I missed out on part of Dream Theater, because I tried to go into the bathroom with about 40 other guys, and use the urinal (no stalls available), and...couldn't go. So I spent the whole concert having to piss like a racehorse. By the end, even though I stayed for both encores and loved the whole concert, I could barely stand it.


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## Amorphousanomaly (Jun 20, 2012)

I used to suffer from this, it has gotten much better recently. One thing that still weirds me out is that as a girl, other girls will try to talk to you not only in the bathroom but while you are peeing! Wtf? They seriously have conversations with each other while they are both peeing, really bizarre.


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## tinkletime (Oct 6, 2012)

*Shy bladder recovery*

Hi everyone,
I have been suffering from shy bladder for as long as I can remember, 30 years or more. This has really put a damper on my life. It's been so bad that I couldn't' even pee at home if others were in the house.

Just within the last three weeks I have been working on my shy bladder
and have been getting good results. I'm now able to pee in public washrooms in a stall, this is something that I have not been able to do ever. I have been doing a lot of reading and It became apparent to me, to be able to use public washroom I needed to face my fears.

I started out by make the decision to do my best to make a go of it.
I started out using a process called graduated exposure. The process involves starting off with a washroom that is easy to go in and slowly and gradually
working your way up to more difficult situations.

To start off with I decided to just get used to going into and hanging out in washrooms for say 2-3 minutes. I'd go sit in a stall and just hang out.
I didn't care if I went pee or not, that wasn't my goal to pee. My goal was to feel comfortable and to get used to the idea hey I belong in here!
This something I did several times a day for about a week.

Then about two weeks ago I came across the breath hold technique and it has totally changed my life. I can now with just three weeks of trying to use public washroom go pee in a stall!

the breath hold technique took me about a week and a half of practice before I was able to get it to work, but now I have it working like a charm.

I'm not cured of the shy bladder, but well on my way.

The breath hold technique can be found on Youtube here, buy this guy.






I'm just so glad that I took the first step to recovery and to a free life.

The breath hold consists of taking in a breath and breathing out about 70-75% of the air from your lungs, then holding your breath. What apparently happens is, as the oxygen in your lungs is used up the muscles that keep you from peeing will relax.

Like I said it took me a week and a half of practice to learn how to hold onto my breath with out giving in to the urge to breath, before the stream of pee would start. Now I'm at the point that if I can hold my breath until it starts and I'm able to use public washrooms again!


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

tinkletime said:


> Hi everyone,
> I have been suffering from shy bladder for as long as I can remember, 30 years or more. This has really put a damper on my life. It's been so bad that I couldn't' even pee at home if others were in the house.
> 
> Just within the last three weeks I have been working on my shy bladder
> ...


congrats! :boogie Hopefully people with shy bladder will see this post and be able to benefit from it.


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## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

I cannot piss in the urinals either. I HAVE to go in the cubicle, and then there is no big deal about it. 

I think that a big line of unshielded urinals fixed to a wall, with a line of guys with , basically all with their d***s out, pissing in unison in a public place, is an absolutely disgusting practice anyway.


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## tinkletime (Oct 6, 2012)

KILOBRAVO said:


> I cannot piss in the urinals either. I HAVE to go in the cubicle, and then there is no big deal about it.
> 
> I think that a big line of unshielded urinals fixed to a wall, with a line of guys with , basically all with their d***s out, pissing in unison in a public place, is an absolutely disgusting practice anyway.


I couldn't even go in a cubical if there was any chance of someone coming in to the washroom and definitely not if there was someone in the washroom. But now I'm able to. My next step will be standing up in a cubical. Then my goal it to be able to use a urinal with others in the washroom. 
Today every time I had to take a leak I left the house and went to a store to use their washroom to get exposure practice. A bit of work but for me it's how I face my fears.


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## RelyingonGod (Oct 9, 2012)

*Husband cannot pee in front of me*

I have never started a thread before, but am looking for some loving help, ideas or suggestions.  I cannot help but to feel hurt that my husband is uncomfortable peeing in front of me. I feel so shut out and feel as though I am good enough for sex but his peeing is private? I dont need to see him, though it would be great to be that open, but it just hurts that he is not comfortable. It would be somewhat like me not allowing him to see me breastfeed our baby? I know he does not do it to hurt me and actually somewhat denies that he is uncomfortable, but I just cannot seem to heal over this and I feel like he shuts me out this way, does not feel safe or comfortable with me and I so badly want him to feel safe. Please do not send hurtful responses as I will not read them...I am trying to figure out how to get through this and how to understand (and in reading a few threads I feel sorry for those who do struggle with shy bladder and really wonder how people develop this condition) Blessings


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## tinkletime (Oct 6, 2012)

Welcome to the forum!

Shy bladder effects more then 7 million North Americans.
Through the use of graduated exposure therapy and possibly Cognitive therapy it can become manageable to the point of having total freedom to pee where ever you want. I didn't use Cognitive therapy.
There is also different techniques to help relax the necessary muscles, to allow one to go pee.

This is possibly an issue he has had for some time, if he is anything like me. We don't hide this fact from others including loved one to hurt them, in the contrary we hide this condition to keep us from being emotionally and psychologically hurt ourselves.

I never told my first wife that I ever had a shy bladder. We were married 18 years. My wife who I have been with for just over 11 years now, knows about it and is actual helping me to recover from it. It is going very well and I am seeing great progress.

She helps me with my gradual exposure. it works real well.
If you would like me to explain about the technique to being able to pee in front of others let me know. I can also explain the graduated exposure and how my wife helps me. Also I can explain the techniques to help in peeing in front of others.

Glen


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## MrQuiet76 (Aug 26, 2011)

I don't think it's the cause of my SA but certainly one of the most frustrating symptoms of it


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## tinkletime (Oct 6, 2012)

Hey love your avatar MrQuiet76!!!!
I use Dumb and dumber ones in other forums :clap

Hey If you are ready to do something about your shy bladder let me know,
I can help you through it.

Glen


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## naxi23 (Oct 30, 2012)

*Method that work to cure SHY BLADDER/PARURESIS*

Probably this will help you 

I found an easy method that will help you find the cure to this annoying problem. This guide was developed by an Ex-paruresis sufferer and lot of people around the world is beating "shy bladder" thanks to him!

Take a look at it http://urinatenow.tk probably is what are you looking for


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## tinkletime (Oct 6, 2012)

naxi23 said:


> Probably this will help you
> 
> I found an easy method that will help you find the cure to this annoying problem. This guide was developed by an Ex-paruresis sufferer and lot of people around the world is beating "shy bladder" thanks to him!
> 
> Take a look at it http://urinatenow.tk probably is what are you looking for


That's quite the advertisement you got going there!
How much money do you get each time someone goes to that website?

Glen


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## thomasdavidtaylor (Oct 31, 2012)

Hi everyone,

I am a final year student studying product design, and have decided that for my year-long design project I'd like to tackle some of the embarrassing and awkward issues surrounding public toilets, and come up with a design solution. I'm currently collecting research, and have created a survey. If you can spend a quick few minutes and complete the survey I'd really appreciate it.

Everything is anonymous.

Cheers

(https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/Public-Toilet-Research)


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## Rusty000Shackleford (May 20, 2013)

I think if I could bring the issue up with my friends it would make the problem a lot better. For me it means having enough personal space that I can't be heard and I basically sneak off to piss. If I was upfront like has been mentioned there would be a lot less pressure to pee or not to pee and then if it didn't work out I could try again or move further away and then try again. (Spend a lot of time outdoors). Busy bathrooms are hit or miss, sometimes all the extra noise and chaos will work to my advantage. But being in a bathroom with one other person is by far the worst, especially if they came in at the same time as you.

Sorry if I shouldn't have bumped such an old thread...


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## tinkletime (Oct 6, 2012)

Hi Rusty,
Yes speaking to a friend about it would prob help, You may be surprised to find out your not the only one. I was surprised to see how many other people I told about my situation have the same issue about going in public.


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