# Fear of Farting



## CrystalGemPearl

I just need quick, affordable therapy... now.


----------



## SFC01

exposure therapy, go into a library, shout "look at me" and let it go.

Sorry, I`ll stop ruining your threads now.


----------



## SFC01

blame someone else, laugh ? ok sorry


----------



## Dissipated

prrrt ,oops.


----------



## SFC01

well farting is quite funny, especially when you do it in a bag and light it, or in someone's face.

What is the fear exactly, doing it in public? In front of friends or colleagues ? Among friends I would say best bet is to laugh it off, trying to hide could increase your anxiety about it. If in public they probably wont notice its you, so you can pull a funny face like "who did that". 

One of the funniest things as a kid was me and my mates being dragged into the deputy head masters office, when after giving us a right shouting at, he screamed what have you to say for yourself and my mate farted so loudly, we were falling on his desk laughing. Ahh happy days.


----------



## SusanStorm

During yoga class yesterday I was thinking "this has got to be one of the worst places to fart". You do all these excercises that aren't exactly helping you holding it in and then you're going to sit quietly meditating  

The only thing I do is to hold it in while in public and just let it all out when I'm alone. I do not want to fart in public.


----------



## SFC01

hehe, doesn't everyone fart during yoga?

Do what my mum does and cough to hide the noise, and if we notice and give her some stick, she blames it on the cough.


----------



## SadSADMan

Just don't do it... The fear you feel is very normal, it's very easy to avoid doing it.


----------



## MCHB

It's the wet ones you have to watch out for!


----------



## Overdrive

Just let it go !


----------



## SilentLyric

i already don't shower enough. I guess I have nothing left to lose.


----------



## Overdrive

CrystalGemPearl said:


> Disgusting and unladylike.


:clap


----------



## waterfairy

Strictly hang out with nurses/nursing students then. We're used to hearing people fart, so it doesn't even phase us.


----------



## CrystalGemPearl

waterfairy said:


> Strictly hang out with nurses/nursing students then. We're used to hearing people fart, so it doesn't even phase us.


That was the very reason I wanted to become one myself.
In fact, the only way nurses would hang out with me is if I became/showed interest in being one myself.


----------



## pocketbird

SFC01 said:


> exposure therapy, go into a library, shout "look at me" and let it go.
> 
> Sorry, I`ll stop ruining your threads now.


THIS ^^

fear of farting in front of people or fear or farting in general - even by yourself? the only way to really get over it is to fart in front of people really loudly or whenever possible and 'embarrass yourself' while laughing afterwards. it's really not that embarrassing! everyone toots


----------



## millenniumman75

Overdrive said:


> Just let it go !


:lol



CrystalGemPearl said:


> Disgusting and unladylike.


 Yes - you have to learn the art of the quiet fart, the root of the silent poot.

Practice makes perfect.

If it's bad, then you must go to the nearest restroom and let it all out.


----------



## SusanStorm

SFC01 said:


> hehe, doesn't everyone fart during yoga?
> 
> Do what my mum does and cough to hide the noise, and if we notice and give her some stick, she blames it on the cough.


No,I don't. Not sure what other people do,but couldn't smell anything while I was there


----------



## SFC01

"No,I don't."

Liar liar pants on fire


----------



## CrystalGemPearl

pocketbird said:


> THIS ^^
> 
> fear of farting in front of people or fear or farting in general - even by yourself? the only way to really get over it is to fart in front of people really loudly or whenever possible and 'embarrass yourself' while laughing afterwards. it's really not that embarrassing! everyone toots


That'll have to be next week, when I can make a nice 4 bean casserole.


----------



## SFC01

I`ll stay out of libraries next week then


----------



## millenniumman75

CrystalGemPearl said:


> Those do tend to reek.
> Bathroom walls also echo.


I have heard it all in the bathroom. That's the place to let loose.
It's either that or pop like a balloon.


----------



## millenniumman75

CrystalGemPearl said:


> Apparently, my boyfriend has had jobs cleaning bathrooms, and knows that women have gone in just to fart.
> 
> But I still get to do so in public and make a blatant show out of it... it's the only way.


I saw a lady walk out of a bathroom and ask me if she made too much noise.

I am like "nope". I know everybody has flatulence. I have it. You have it. Even cows have it. That's part of natural methane production.

...and maybe global warming.


----------



## Ominous Indeed

waterfairy said:


> Strictly hang out with nurses/nursing students then. We're used to hearing people fart, so it doesn't even phase us.


Sounds like something that is going to cause an uproar one day.

"We are tired of old people ****ting in their pants!".

Soon, every nursing student ever:



















And then all the hospitals with nursing students are going to turn into Mount massive Asylum.


----------



## millenniumman75

This should sum it up, OP.


----------



## sandromeda

Let it rip my dude


----------



## Lonelyguy

Why fart and waste it when you can burp and taste it?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

waterfairy said:


> Strictly hang out with nurses/nursing students then. We're used to hearing people fart, so it doesn't even phase us.


Also have to help elderly patients in the bathroom, letting one go, wiping and all. :eek

Not an easy job.


----------



## CrystalGemPearl

SFC01 said:


> I`ll stay out of libraries next week then


That would be a wise decision.


----------



## SadSADMan

CrystalGemPearl said:


> I'll use any excuse not to let it out.


Good! DON'T ever let it out srs. Wtf? Just don't do it... I don't think I've ever done it in public... You think you need to cure yourself and then go around acting like an animal in public? Just don't do it trust me. It's not normal to want to pass out like you, but it's VERY normal to avoid doing it in public at all costs.


----------



## millenniumman75

Lonelyguy said:


> Why fart and waste it when you can burp and taste it?


If it goes past the stomach, it's too late. :lol


----------



## MobiusX

I don't know why but some guys like it. Some men and women for some strange reason like scat porn and do it. Take a probiotic called Align. Do you also have constipation?


----------



## KILOBRAVO

CrystalGemPearl said:


> Not me.


I very rarely pass gas. like, hardly ever... an there's nothing wrong with my guts... I just hardly ever do that.


----------



## Lester Roquefort

I like ladies who're free with farts. They show me that farting is the least of their worries.


----------



## flotilla

Farting is terrifying. Last month I was at the gym squatting and farted the loudest thus far on accident.
Even though I'm not sure anyone actually heard it as I always choose an empty section of the building, I dropped everything, went home, and was too terrified to come back for the next four days.


----------



## Overdrive

You should buy one of these :


----------



## twitchy666

*just the telly fone for me*

neither to worry about!

I wish I could get it straight

I love all my farts by myself or loud in public. All to be relished.

after beers or before. rhythm of how many I knock out, in a row. Breakbeat √


----------



## MobiusX

flotilla said:


> Farting is terrifying. Last month I was at the gym squatting and farted the loudest thus far on accident.
> Even though I'm not sure anyone actually heard it as I always choose an empty section of the building, I dropped everything, went home, and was too terrified to come back for the next four days.


Dont know why but girl farts smell worse, maybe its because they have bigger butt cheeks and it covers their anus more so when they fart its not properly released cause their big butt cheeks is blocking a lot of gas so it just contues to build up more until there is too much and the female just releases it like a big explosion of gas so its gas that was backed up for days

At the gym last year I was on the treadmil and 2 women on both sides of me and out of nowhereI smelled a smell like as if I was in the bathroom and it had to be the woman on my right who had the speed up and some guy walked by and was like " what"s going on here" and I heard the fart even though music was playing and equipment being used and people talking while I was listening to music with headphones on so I didnt even hear it as loud as it really was and a feq minutes later she did it again and was runing even faster, its like she was so focused and didnt want to stop running

The loudest fart I ever heard came from a tent next to mine, a woman I knew and who was my 7th day adventist pathfinder which is like church scouts for boys and girls. Some female said she heard it to her and they both laughed and then the one who farted saw me sitting in my tent and stopped laughing, i just looked confused because i didnt know how I should have felt, mad? funny and laugh? insulted? I guess I just saw it as it really was, she farted and she laughed with someone else about it, so all that crap I saw of girls getting disgusted by anything small was a lie, I especially know this now as an adult since we all know from porn the disgusting sexual acts they perform from scat porn to having sex with dogs and horses and other animals


----------



## millenniumman75

MobiusX said:


> Dont know why but girl farts smell worse, maybe its because they have bigger butt cheeks and it covers their anus more so when they fart its not properly released cause their big butt cheeks is blocking a lot of gas so it just contues to build up more until there is too much and the female just releases it like a big explosion of gas so its gas that was backed up for days
> 
> At the gym last year I was on the treadmil and 2 women on both sides of me and out of nowhereI smelled a smell like as if I was in the bathroom and it had to be the woman on my right who had the speed up and some guy walked by and was like " what"s going on here" and I heard the fart even though music was playing and equipment being used and people talking while I was listening to music with headphones on so I didnt even hear it as loud as it really was and a feq minutes later she did it again and was runing even faster, its like she was so focused and didnt want to stop running
> 
> The loudest fart I ever heard came from a tent next to mine, a woman I knew and who was my 7th day adventist pathfinder which is like church scouts for boys and girls. Some female said she heard it to her and they both laughed and then the one who farted saw me sitting in my tent and stopped laughing, i just looked confused because i didnt know how I should have felt, mad? funny and laugh? insulted? I guess I just saw it as it really was, she farted and she laughed with someone else about it, so all that crap I saw of girls getting disgusted by anything small was a lie, I especially know this now as an adult since we all know from porn the disgusting sexual acts they perform from scat porn to having sex with dogs and horses and other animals


Wow - she could have had a blowout in her leotard!


----------



## cihanthepanda

I think this is a troll thread

I would like the moderators to remove this disgusting topic. thanks


----------



## millenniumman75

Everybody has gas. We just have to know how to handle it. Do what you need to limit the noise. It would have to be released or it can cause troubles.

When you have that burning sensation of trying to hold it in, remember this.










Give a hoot, let out a poot.


----------



## rabidfoxes

I think it's better if it's loud, because then you/others can laugh, you can say 'sorry' and it's done. If it's quiet and stinks, it can be awkward. I have been in situations where I was around people and said 'sorry, I farted' and most people just pretend I didn't say anything. Others just go 'no worries, it's all cool'. 

But then if you're in a large group and sitting in relative silence (a meeting at work?) the situation can be tricky. Talking about farting can be seen as distracting/childish. I used to get very embarrassed but nowadays I mostly just keep quiet & chuckle inside at how everyone is trying really hard not to mention it.

It inconveniences people, but cannot be helped. You just have to work through your embarrassment and arrive at a point where you're at peace with your farts. My mother used to say: "if you're afraid of someone, remember that they also defecate". Everyone farts! (people who believe they don't, do too...we don't notice most of our farts)


----------



## CrystalGemPearl

Overdrive said:


> You should buy one of these :


Or get this:


----------



## MobiusX

CrystalGemPearl said:


> Seeing as my previous attempt failed yesterday, and all the gas got trapped... I'm going to have to try again today and improvise a bit more.


did you ever try the Align probiotics? the gas-x sucks, it causes more gas, there are different reasons why the gas might be trapped, ever heard of a pelvic floor disorder?


----------



## 2na

Fart in a crowded place, there will be more people to blame and it's less likely for you to be found guilty.


----------



## MobiusX

CrystalGemPearl said:


> I just ate too many beans is all...


so it only lasted 1 day? align is also good for constipation btw


----------



## millenniumman75

CrystalGemPearl said:


> So is water and exercise.


You have to "position the cheeks". It could take practice, so you would have to do it in the privacy of your own home first. The "slow leak" technique is the best, most quiet, and stealth there is.


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

millenniumman75 said:


> You have to "position the cheeks". It could take practice, so you would have to do it in the privacy of your own home first. The "slow leak" technique is the best, most quiet, and stealth there is.


The ol' left cheek sneak eh..

I don't understand why such a natural bodily function has become so taboo and frowned upon. I mean as long as you're considerate and not too uncouth about it. My ex gf used to fart her *** cheeks off and I had no issue with it. It's nice to be able to feel that comfortable around someone.


----------



## millenniumman75

CrystalGemPearl said:


> I'm to be loud and proud.


Not in some places.


----------



## twitchy666

*Yep.*

the power of your guts you were born with. Muscle-up.

Complaints or fear of farts would be like saying sex was dirty, evil & naughty.

Not things you can die from. Wouldn't want to put a Tourniquet round anything, like trying to stop your heart beating?

choke, strangle, strangulate, garrote, gag any person making music
with their bottom?


----------



## CrystalGemPearl

millenniumman75 said:


> Not in some places.


It's the only way to get over my flatuphobia.


----------



## millenniumman75

CrystalGemPearl said:


> It's the only way to get over my flatuphobia.


No, it isn't. At most, one time. It's not the end of the world.

Use this instead. From Medina, Ohio...


----------



## CrystalGemPearl

millenniumman75 said:


> No, it isn't. At most, one time. It's not the end of the world.
> 
> Use this instead. From Medina, Ohio...


Or change my diet to produce more gas.
It'd be much funnier to fart for real.


----------



## Evo1114

SFC01 said:


> hehe, doesn't everyone fart during yoga?
> 
> Do what my mum does and cough to hide the noise, and if we notice and give her some stick, she blames it on the cough.


Those aren't farts. Whenever I bring up yoga, everybody always asks about the farting thing. I'm like, uhhh...I've never had to fart from yoga. Unless of course I had KFC the night before or something that has nothing to do with yoga. They are queefs. Women have other parts where air likes to sneak in and then be forced out when positions change. I do still think that would be embarrassing though. But who knows.

Anyways, thankfully we can hold farts in so that we never ever have to do it in an embarrassing place.


----------



## SFC01

thanks for the delightful explanation Evo


----------



## SplendidBob

I haven't farted yet IRL. I have online and in dreams though.


----------



## komorikun

*Yoga>>> Queef*


----------



## komorikun




----------



## WillYouStopDave

komorikun said:


>





komorikun said:


>


:lol

That's pretty epic! When I saw you had posted in this thread I knew it was gonna be good.


----------



## komorikun

WillYouStopDave said:


> :lol
> 
> That's pretty epic! When I saw you had posted in this thread I knew it was gonna be good.


The positions you see in the photos are when the air goes in. Once you put your legs down then the queef happens.

I don't know what the names of these yoga positions are.


----------



## Overdrive




----------



## millenniumman75

Wow - I thought yoga was quiet.


----------



## CrystalGemPearl

I need to get back into yoga. And I need free classes, because no job = no money.


----------



## ghost dog

Can men queef? The real question.


----------



## CrystalGemPearl

Actually the real question is can I get over my fear of farting after 5 pages of still having it? As well as learn to think of farts as funny.


----------



## Evo1114

Men can't queef. 

Yep...any yoga position that involves the legs bent upwards and towards the head will likely result in somebody queefing. However, when I took pilates class it was a lot worse...like a symphony...probably because of the legs being up AND the crunches acting kind of like a pump. Thankfully everybody was mature enough to just carry on as if nothing happened. Being the only male in all my classes though, I was taken aback at first. Actually, Komorikun may have even been the one to teach me about this phenomenon. I recall when I first started yoga, I always questioned why people had no control over their gas during class.


----------



## CrystalGemPearl

Anyway, I can't wait to start studying nursing, so I can be exposed to farts often and learn how to see it as a bodily function. While risking getting IBS from the stressful work of nursing.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

ghost dog said:


> Can men queef? The real question.


 I guarantee you that you don't wanna know.


----------



## CrystalGemPearl

WillYouStopDave said:


> I guarantee you that you don't wanna know.


Not that anyone should care, because it's off-topic.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

CrystalGemPearl said:


> Not that anyone should care, because it's off-topic.


 Well, you know constipation will only make gas worse. Sometimes you just gotta toot like a foghorn.


----------



## CrystalGemPearl

MobiusX said:


> I don't know why but some guys like it. Some men and women for some strange reason like scat porn and do it.


I know. And I personally think those people should be shot.


----------



## yyyya

let it out boi


----------



## CrystalGemPearl

yyyya said:


> let it out boi


I'm female. And I won't just let it out. My code of ladylike ethics won't allow it.


----------



## yyyya

CrystalGemPearl said:


> I'm female. And I won't just let it out. My code of ladylike ethics won't allow it.


let it out gurl


----------



## CrystalGemPearl

yyyya said:


> let it out gurl


Would be unladylike to do so.... 
It's more complex than "let it out".


----------



## yyyya

CrystalGemPearl said:


> Would be unladylike to do so....
> It's more complex than "let it out".


well if you want an honest answer go to the bathroom or somewhere where there's no people and let it out


----------



## CrystalGemPearl

yyyya said:


> well if you want an honest answer go to the bathroom or somewhere where there's no people and let it out


Tired of it...

Nowadays I'm just a wannabe tomboy, feminist, clown, nurse.


----------



## yyyya

CrystalGemPearl said:


> Tired of it...
> 
> Nowadays I'm just a wannabe tomboy, feminist, clown, nurse.


feminism=abolish double standards --> allowed to fart in public  
or you could dress up as a guy or a clown and you won't feel unladylike anymore


----------



## CrystalGemPearl

yyyya said:


> feminism=abolish double standards --> allowed to fart in public
> or you could dress up as a guy or a clown and you won't feel unladylike anymore


A crossdressed clown... I ike it.

And as a nurse, I can hear lots of people fart and get used to it and see it as a bodily function... in both my subconscious and conscious mind.


----------



## Repix

And I never do it.. Hm.

Well at least now when I'm awake.


----------



## yyyya

CrystalGemPearl said:


> And as a nurse, I can hear lots of people fart and get used to it and see it as a bodily function... in both my subconscious and conscious mind.


why not be a feminist male nurse dressed up as a clown? it's a win-win situation


----------



## CrystalGemPearl

yyyya said:


> why not be a feminist male nurse dressed up as a clown? it's a win-win situation


I may or may not have to shave my head (I have to stop before I become more irrational).


----------



## yyyya

CrystalGemPearl said:


> I may or may not have to shave my head (I have to stop before I become more irrational).


shave your head then glue the hair to your face and voilà you have a nice beard


----------



## MobiusX

CrystalGemPearl said:


> I know. And I personally think those people should be shot.


why? what kind of other people should get shot? people who are disabled or have mental problems? I am asking you because shooting someone for just liking something is strange.


----------



## SFC01

MobiusX said:


> why? what kind of other people should get shot? people who are disabled or have mental problems?.


What if they are also into scat?


----------



## millenniumman75

All I know is......if a person has held it in as long as this thread has been around......

Someone would pop like a balloon.


----------



## IAMANOBODY2015

I hate passing gas. I even hate the word fart. I will do it alone, but not in public. Of course, I have had a few accidents.


----------



## CrystalGemPearl

yyyya said:


> or you could dress up as a guy or a clown and you won't feel unladylike anymore


I can kill two birds with one stone and make this my clown look.









This pic is *not* me, BTW.


----------



## UltraShy

Sometimes I am really gassy and fart up a storm. I try to be discreet if others are around, though it feels damn good to be alone where you can just blast away.


----------



## SwtSurrender

Yes, I admit, I have way too much gas. Is it something common with socially anxious folks? I want to do so much stuff and jump on hot guys, but then I have this terrible bloating and gas I have to hold in way too much, and it's pretty hard to do what I want then, and I have to tell every hot guy the truth and then I bet they get turned off but whatever. I won't give up coffee, milk, sugar, if this is what is causing my gas.


----------



## CrystalGemPearl

SwtSurrender said:


> Yes, I admit, I have way too much gas. Is it something common with socially anxious folks? I want to do so much stuff and jump on hot guys, but then I have this terrible bloating and gas I have to hold in way too much, and it's pretty hard to do what I want then, and I have to tell every hot guy the truth and then I bet they get turned off but whatever. I won't give up coffee, milk, sugar, if this is what is causing my gas.


And I'll never give up my quest to be a much gassier woman.


----------



## SwtSurrender

CrystalGemPearl said:


> And I'll never give up my quest to be a much gassier woman.


Lol, you're funny, that's great, so you enjoy having as much gas as I do? That's unexpected but very lovely! Would you like to chase hot guys away with a little accident or a big accident on purpose? Would you like to smother them instead when they least expect it? I'd go with that if I hated them and say oops.


----------



## CrystalGemPearl

SwtSurrender said:


> Lol, you're funny, that's great, so you enjoy having as much gas as I do? That's unexpected but very lovely! Would you like to chase hot guys away with a little accident or a big accident on purpose? Would you like to smother them instead when they least expect it? I'd go with that if I hated them and say oops.


Or laugh in an obnoxious way. I just want to retrain my brain to think it's funny and take pride in it like men do. Heeheehee...


MobiusX said:


> why? what kind of other people should get shot? people who are disabled or have mental problems? I am asking you because shooting someone for just liking something is strange.


How disgusting do you have to be to like that, though?


----------



## MobiusX

CrystalGemPearl said:


> Or laugh in an obnoxious way. I just want to retrain my brain to think it's funny and take pride in it like men do. Heeheehee...
> 
> How disgusting do you have to be to like that, though?


Thats nothing, a female from this site once admitted wanting to have sex with animals, the thread got deleted


----------



## CrystalGemPearl

Still, my anger stems from being made fun of while asking in the wrong places.
I read Denise Brunette's blog and feel a bit better from then.


----------



## The Library of Emma

Five pages of this? Wow. 

I actually have to admire your persistence, OP, i know a lot of people have shot you down or asked you to leave, yet here you are


----------



## soulstorm

You don't have to rip one. Learn the art of SBV...silent but violent. That way there's plenty of debate as to who the offender is, and you can take your secret to the grave.


----------



## littleghost

I thought of this thread today. I was in meditation class where there were eight of us in a very small room lying on the floor, totally silent except for the soft voice of our instructor. I had gas really bad and kept thinking there's no way I can get away with that in here. I had to hold it in. Luckily I was able to resist.

OP, maybe you should take up yoga. There's a particular pose that is supposed to make the whole class fart. I just remember the name of the pose has "wind" in it.


----------



## CrystalGemPearl

@She and Her Darkness
Like I've said. Every phobia should be respected. No matter if it's one that people find freaking hilarious. And I will stand by it. 
@soulstorm
Not always. Under certain circumstances, they'll know I did it.
Yeah, but then I won't be so lucky after that. I'll have plenty of other opportunities to rip more obvious ones. No amount of easing it out will help. I'll just have to rip it loudly to get relief at those times.
@littleghost 


CrystalGemPearl said:


> I need to get back into yoga. And I need free classes, because no job = no money.


People also said those are queefs, but it depends on the position.


----------



## CrystalGemPearl

Aaaaaaand. I have no therapy options on my insurance (Medi-Cal)


----------

