# Ladies, What would you think if a random guy came up to you



## daaaaave (Jan 1, 2007)

...and asked "what's your name?" 

I'm just sick and tired of not knowing anyone so I am thinking of doing this when I see a cute girl. It's college so I don't think she'd think I was a serial killer or anything, but would she think its weird?? What kind of response could I get?

Oh, and if I get a positive response, the plan is to just introduce myself, say I gotta go, but I wanted to meet you sometime and ask for her number.


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## Tania (Jan 8, 2005)

I get creeped out when men just up and ask me my name or any other personal information. The only time I've been OK with men approaching me is if they notice something, like for example if I'm wearing my Raider's jacket, they will say "Oh, a Raiders fan!" then I'll start talking to him about football. But if that same guy just randomly came up to me and asked me my name, I wouldn't want to talk to him. Mind you I'm referring to guys at bus stops and the such... at college might be a different story.


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## Vincenzo (Sep 24, 2005)

Immediately saying you've got to go is stupid and would come across as really awkward. 

It sounds sort of harsh but even in college you can't just randomly approach potential romantic partners unless you have the skills for it. You need to build a reasonable social circle and meet women that way. If you can't build up the social circle, the chances are you can't get the woman. It takes a great deal of patience and effort.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

Tania said:


> I get creeped out when men just up and ask me my name or any other personal information.


Yes, I agree. Although men randomly sitting down next to me and probing me about my life is much more awkward.

Unless you plan to actually speak to the girl for a little while, introducing yourself and then leaving probably isn't the best method. If there's a girl in your class, you could try talking to her about an upcoming test or something, and then maybe ask for her number to get together and study... Then again, what do I know?

haha, two people have asked for my number in that situation, but neither ever called me. :lol I am a pathetic perversion of nature.


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## daaaaave (Jan 1, 2007)

Maybe the name isn't a good question then. The reason I am just planning to introduce myself is cause I am going somewhere, she is probably busy too and I hate bugging people. I figure she has already sized me up by that time so I don't care to have lame small talk until we are both relaxing some evening when I call her. I don't want to talk to people in class or people I'll see regularly either.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

*re: Ladies, What would you think if a random guy came up to*

Well personally I'd be shocked cause nobody ever talks to me and I'd wonder why anybody would want to know me or anything about me. But I wouldn't mind it unless he seemed weird(in a bad way)...usually weird to me is a good thing. :yes
But it would make me happy if somebody came up and was nice to me like that and seemed to wanna get to know me. People hate me.


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## loner2389 (Oct 28, 2006)

*re: Ladies, What would you think if a random guy came up to*

This is a problem i have. I don't really have a "social circle" where i can meet any girls. I don't sound nervous when i talk but i'd have trouble making any sort of clever witty comment that is appropriate around people i dont know. I have maybe 7-10 friends 4-5 i talk to at lunch and they are all guys i've known for a few years. Im in 11th grade right now.

No girls in any of my classes that i'd have a chance with to put it simply. All taken or have too many guys flirting with her already that i'd have to have more then 0 experience to not look like a retard.

I'd like to know how much of an ***/creep/ect... it makes a guy look like if they talk to random girls like that. I'm pretty sure im not bad looking (unless every girl who flirted with me was trying to play a joke on me), but i do look about 3-4 years older then i really am so i don't know if that'd make a girl nervous or not.

Also what's a good way to start a conversation so i don't seem like im a FBI agent interogating a terrorist.


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## Tania (Jan 8, 2005)

Try lots of eye contact first and feel out her reactions from that. She will know right away that you are considering approaching her if you make lots of eye contact, smiling that sort of thing. At least I would know that LOL and that would give her more time to warm up to the idea of you approaching her. I would stay away from asking anything personal about her (like her name)... I feel interrogated and uncomfortable when people come up and ask me about myself. Instead ask her something that you might have in common... how about school? Ask her what she is majoring in? Comment on her nice shirt? I like things like that. But when I get any personal questions about my name, age, etc. right off the bat I am weary of the whole conversation after that.


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

It depends if the chemistry is there or not. If she's not interested, she'll be creeped out. If she thinks you're cute, she'll love it.

I've had guys approach me, complete strangers who decided to strike up a conversation. Even when I wasn't interested, I didn't think they were jerks for it. They saw me, they liked me, and they wanted to talk to me. That's it. I don't know how that would make them a jerk.

It's alright for a guy to ask my name in a conversation. What else is he going to call me? Hey, you!!!


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## chiz (Aug 17, 2006)

*Re: Ladies, What would you think if a random guy came up to*



daaaaave said:


> ...and asked "what's your name?"
> 
> I'm just sick and tired of not knowing anyone so I am thinking of doing this when I see a cute girl. It's college so I don't think she'd think I was a serial killer or anything, but would she think its weird?? What kind of response could I get?
> 
> Oh, and if I get a positive response, the plan is to just introduce myself, say I gotta go, but I wanted to meet you sometime and ask for her number.


this is a bit too fast. .personally, if someone asks my name, the best that I can respond may just be a smile and ask why.

having that way of yours might not really scare a girl but it would really depend on the situation.


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

Do you get creeped out because of the SA factoring in or do you fear for your safety? I mean, just asking what your name is shouldn't creep out girls, should it? It seems incredibly harmless to me.


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## chiz (Aug 17, 2006)

yeah, totally harmless. But asking the reason would do no harm as well, right? Well, that would then b the time that I will give my name. I don't know if it goes for all of the girls, too. .


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## daaaaave (Jan 1, 2007)

I think maybe if I do this I will just pretend I think I know her....like "excuse me, is your name ______?"....she can offer her real name if she wants, but she doesn't have to.


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## Vincenzo (Sep 24, 2005)

That really isn't going to work. You're not starring in a quirky independent movie where a random awkward loner can just approach a girl with some inept conversation and she'll chase after you. You do need to be socially grounded first.

I sound really nasty saying this, but I'm not trying to be a *****. This is just the way things are and you evidently have some major misconceptions.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

*Re: re: Ladies, What would you think if a random guy came up*



loner2389 said:


> Also what's a good way to start a conversation so i don't seem like im a FBI agent interogating a terrorist.


"Hi, how are you?" To me that's always better than some lame *** chat-up line. Dave, you can start the conversation out that way. At least make a little small talk first and then ask what her name is. You know, work your way into it.


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## daaaaave (Jan 1, 2007)

Vincenzo, you really aren't contributing at all. You assume everyone here is incapable of making conversation which is not true at all. I am well liked by people I get to know one on one. I only have anxiety in groups. It sounds like you are trying to spread your own pessimistic attitudes on everyone else.


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## Vincenzo (Sep 24, 2005)

daaaaave said:


> Vincenzo, you really aren't contributing at all. You assume everyone here is incapable of making conversation which is not true at all. I am well liked by people I get to know one on one. I only have anxiety in groups. It sounds like you are trying to spread your own pessimistic attitudes on everyone else.


You suggested asking what her name was before immediately leaving and pretending to know her as good ideas.

These are objectively bad ideas that would almost never work out in real life. By telling you this, I _am_ contributing.


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## Failure (Feb 4, 2007)

*re: Ladies, What would you think if a random guy came up to*

Going to sound ****ty, but I'd reccomend practicing talking to girls you don't like first. It will suck if you go and try to introduce your self to the girl you really think is cute then you sound like an idiot when you cant carry the conversation past "Hi, I'm ..... what's your name?" But i never even try so don't take what i say to heart, im just really bad at small talk.


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## Message (Sep 20, 2006)

I would give him my first name, but instantly I would feel dread that he was going to ask me out. I don't want strangers asking me out. I have to know them first, and know them pretty damn well. I'm a person who won't take chances on anybody.

You shouldn't listen to me though. People have told me that I re-define the phrase, "hard-to-get". I'm not exactly the one to ask about these things, actually. The reason I'm so hard to impress is because I'm always under the impression that if I guy just were to come up to me like that, it's like I am simply a goal and a strategy for them and nothing more. How can a stranger know that this person they are asking out is who they want to let's say, date.



> "Hi, how are you?" To me that's always better than some lame *** chat-up line. Dave, you can start the conversation out that way. At least make a little small talk first and then ask what her name is. You know, work your way into it.


Strange Religion's on the right track. That sounds like a good way to go. I don't think a guy should ever ask a girl out when first meeting her. But, if you have some sort of connection... she is in your class or your co-worker or someone you see regularly, then get to know her, let her know you. Then once you know her a bit better it will give you a better clue on whether or not you want to ask her on a date and whether she wants to as well.

It sounds like a pain in the ***, but that's how I think it should be. A lot of people would say differently, however.


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## chiz (Aug 17, 2006)

I agree as well. You can start out a casual conversation with the girl, one which will not make her conscious talking with a stranger. Then work your way out on knowing or asking her out.


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## daaaaave (Jan 1, 2007)

Well I didn't have any chances so far today. I'm not gonna ask a random girl out, anyways. I plan to ask for the number, then get to know her over the phone.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Vincenzo said:


> Immediately saying you've got to go is stupid and would come across as really awkward.
> 
> It sounds sort of harsh but even in college you can't just randomly approach potential romantic partners unless you have the skills for it. You need to build a reasonable social circle and meet women that way. If you can't build up the social circle, the chances are you can't get the woman. It takes a great deal of patience and effort.


I tend to agree. If you don't have the social circle more than likely even if you did pull it off as soon as she finds there's no social circle it's see you later. They say guys look at the physical perhaps girls look at the social circle.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

*re: Ladies, What would you think if a random guy came up to*

Personally, I couldn't care less about the social circle. It's not even on my radar. Maybe guys look at the social circle too. I felt like a real loser when I was on a date and a guy was talking about his friends and different experiences, then when he asked me about my friends, I hardly had anything to say.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

scairy said:


> Vincenzo said:
> 
> 
> > Immediately saying you've got to go is stupid and would come across as really awkward.
> ...


Yes, that is what my experience has been. I've made 2 flat out cold approaches so far in my life and suprisingly I was successful on the first one...initially.

I just walked up to a girl I'd never spoken a single word to as she was getting out of class on the last day and asked her what her name was. After she told me, I then asked if she was single. Then I asked for her phone number. I got the number and gave her mine as well, then went home for winter break (1 month off). When I cam back to my apartment at school, *she called me!*

Things went great the first night we hung out. But as she began to find out more stuff about me, and that I had no friends and basically just sat in my apartment every Friday and Saturday night, she quickly lost interest. I kind of expected it, since I knew from the first conversation, that we were worlds apart socially.

Second girl told me she wasn't singe, so I left it at that and didn't even bother trying to get her number.

But yeah, I would say cold approaches are going to be extremely tough to pull off. It can be done, but you also need to develop a thick skin NOW because you are most likely going to crash and burn a few times before you are successful.

Also, whenever possible, it would be good to try and come up with some kind of icrebreaker before "hi what's your name?" I'm not really sure what though. I guess it depends on the situation.


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## Bon (Dec 24, 2005)

*re: Ladies, What would you think if a random guy came up to*

If a random man just came up to me and said 'What's your name" I would probably ignore him.

However if we have been talking back and forth I would think nothing of it.

The other day I decided to find out if someone was married, they said 'Yes" now, I'll never go back to that store, but..........;_) no it was cool, it wasn't bad, and I'll return to the store.


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

*re: Ladies, What would you think if a random guy came up to*

Hi, I'm Dave nice to meet you. What's your name? Are you single? If your single then maybe can I have your phone number. I give my real phone number every time, but she might give you a fake one. Beware!

If your in the same class ask if you can borrow a pencil or ask if she likes the class or what major she's taking.

I was actually thinking of doing some cold ask outs at the gym. Like walking beside this walker and asking him how to use this equipment (I honestly never use the one that he goes on and would need to know) There's all runners at our gym and when there's walkers, I'm all excited. I'm honestly too fragile and have too much baggage right now, though.


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## Christian (Oct 5, 2006)

Futures said:
 

> Also, whenever possible, it would be good to try and come up with some kind of icrebreaker before "hi what's your name?" I'm not really sure what though. I guess it depends on the situation.


It could be anything about the uniqueness of either yourself or the situation or the one you talk to. "Hi" is what you say to open the conversation but as soon as the other person says hi, they wonder why you said hi, and that's when you say something unique... then you flow with it from there.

For example, there is this kid in my history class who I thought looked like me, so I could've looked at the girl behind me and said "Hi, Can I ask you a question? See that guy over there...do you think he looks like me?" and then take it from there...

But people are on-guard for uncertainty, fear, etc, when it comes to strangers which is why you have to speak clearly and with confidence just to NOT be suspected as a possible serial killer


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

*re: Ladies, What would you think if a random guy came up to*

I would wonder why he wanted to know my name just right away,but I wouldn't mind or that depends on the guy...


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