# why does my guy friend act so weird?



## sapphire22 (Jun 9, 2013)

Hi guys. This is going to be kind of long but i hope you will be able to give me some insight on my situation.

I have been good friends with this guy since 10th grade. He's nice, pretty trustworthy. your typical 'normal' guy. He is a year old than me (im 20) and we hang out with my best friend who is a girl. She is very outgoing and friendly. They are opposites and I am the 'in between' friend since i was friends with both, then we became close.

He has liked me since we first met. I dont feel the same, let him know that but he still tries. I havent really been hanging out with my best girl friend so its just been me and him. I am just finding him insuferable lately. Guess ive never noticed it before but he's really boring. He acts as though nothing bothers him, he barely shows emotions...just overall, lackluster. Lately, when we he asks to me to hang out he has an excuse halfway through "oh my parents just called, they want me home now" or "im dropping you off at __ time" and we've only hung out for like, an hour. (Btw, he drives. I dont. He used to have his own car but he got in an accident and has to use his parents for now) i truly feel either he doesnt want to chill (but why ask ?) Or he just makes up excuses for unknown reasons.

I miss my girl bff. So im planning to hang out with her again. I just deleted this guy because thats just too much bs for me. He used to be very reliable and decent but now, i dont know.

what do you guys think?

By the way, i dont have feelings for him. i am very empathetic, very in tune with emotions and passion. and he's....not lol. easpecially since i have sa, i get very short and annoyed with unreliable people


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## sapphire22 (Jun 9, 2013)

I forgot to add-
I am not the type of person to discuss others 'erratic'
behavior with them because they may take it the
wrong way.

All three of us went on vacation to the nj shore
for a few days. He spent almot the entire
time in the hotel room while me and my other bff
had fun. He would leave early or make up excuses.
we thought he was homesick (we were only 1 state away
from home lol) but that couldnt be since was co.sidering
going to europe on his own.

i am not delusional. if you were to ask my why he acts thus way,
I have a few theories:

he has an embarrassing medical problem (just my impression)
he is addicted to masturbation (we noted his box of tissues and lotion lol)
Or he secretly hates us both lol


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## life01 (Feb 20, 2013)

imho you state 'He has liked me since we first met. I dont feel the same, let him know that but he still tries' he's in the friend zone and hates it, have you never loved someone and it's not been reciprocated? it must be hell for him, if he has other friends my advice is to gently and kindly create distance between you to and maybe hell be able to move on and find someone who loves him. He may already be trying to do it. I feel sorry for him


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## HanSolo (Jul 5, 2013)

well this summer I fell real hard for an involved girl, and she told me a few times it was not going to happen, and I kept interpreting her friendliness has a sign that its still all right to be openly showing all this affection.....and I did push a few boundaries too many...

And it took me getting evicted to realize I was wasting my love on an involved girl...that was not cheating.

So my heart has been crushed, I have no idea if I was anything more than just some guy, and I'm moving into a hell hole........and trying to stay positive while trying to meet other girls


so the point is if he has real feelings, like a mad crush like I get...(I get very very strong feelings for some girls, that would lead right to true love, sacrificing myself for her type thing.....)

then you have to yell at him to break his attraction, its not going to happen, its in your mind, we are friends, USE YOUR ENERGY ON SOMEONE ELSE.........and if its a true crush, he has to get away from you most of the time unless he has another to start liking. I could still live with her if I had another girl as lovable that wanted me back.....then it would be alright for me.

Otherwise, even though I'm going out a even met a few girls, when I'm around her its just so hard not to love her.......:afr


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## Wulfgar (Aug 23, 2013)

maybe he met a girl who likes him as more than just a friend and he'd rather spend time with her rather than you...or maybe he's going through some personal issues ...maybe you should just ask him whats going on instead of assuming he has some ridiculously embarassing problem like masturbation addiction -_- ...just tell him you've noticed he's been acting a certain way and then ASK him whats wrong..thats what a GOOD friend would do instead of speculating/forming ridiculous "theories" about him and then deleting him/writing him off....YOU'RE the one who sounds unreliable.


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## sapphire22 (Jun 9, 2013)

Let me add this-

I would totally and completely LOVE if he found
a girl, but he makes the FIRST move in asking me to
hang out (80% him 20% me) I dont call or text him blah
blah. That is why I specifically said- he asks first. he comments on
my statuses and pictures on fb all the time. my other friends say i should be careful, you dont know what guys like this are capable of

As for the theories, they arent far fetched at all.
They are strong speculations of why I think hes this way.

he doesnt show hus emotions, we dont really
have 'deep talks' (like me and my girl) and i bet
if i did bring it up, it would be incredibly awkward

as for me being unreliable, no i just dont put up with
unnessesary bs. i am done with it. i have no plans
to to re add him, either.


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## life01 (Feb 20, 2013)

sapphire22, you state 'I would totally and completely LOVE if he found a girl, but he makes the FIRST move in asking me to hang out (80% him 20% me) I dont call or text him blah
blah' thats your perspective. his perspective is he may be in love with you and stuck in the friend zone, you say your very empathetic, whats so hard to see?


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

He sounds like he might have SA.....


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## Neddy123 (Jan 2, 2013)

If he is so weird and such a pain in the ***......why are you maintaining a "friendship" with him?


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## sapphire22 (Jun 9, 2013)

I have speculated he might have SA but I doubt it.
He's outgoing enough that I really dont think thats it.

In reponse to me wanting to 'maintain the friendship'
i didnt say that. i wanted an unbiased opinion
on why he acts this way.

and in my mind i dont see the "hes in love with you"
because thats so ridiculous to me. I guess i just ignore
it because i can only see him as friend.

but oh well thanks for the responses everyone
but youre right, if we cant be only friends, then
we shouldnt be anything. it will never happen if thats the issue


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## Shockwave The Logical (Aug 27, 2013)

I'm going to form this reply with my experience in a highly similar case.

He sees that you are extremely friendly with him. It's possible that he may have not had such a friend in his life before entering 10th grade. This person may have the sudden thought of "Maybe she's the right one? She's unlike anyone I've met before. Could it be that she's the one?" Then, he starts answering his own questions by acting in a certain way towards you. He managed to make it explicit and even though you've told him that it would not work out, he still believes in a potential relationship between the two of you and thinks that you'll be willing to do it after a certain amount of time. It looks like it hasn't gone the way he has wanted it to go. This may be the time to take a break from him but it may devastate him and have thoughts running in his head such as "I've freaked her out, am I a creep? How stupid am I? I shouldn't have acted that way!"


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

If he's pushing away. Not having fun etc he may be depressed. I lost a good friend a few years ago due to depression. Didn't know I was depressed at the time just knew I was going through something. You said he was in an accident. Was it a bad accident possibly traumatized him maybe? 

Has you had a deep one on one with him to see what's really going on?


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## sapphire22 (Jun 9, 2013)

Thanks for responses Shockwave & Zilla,
Im glad you both asked that

Maybe he is depressed ? We have been friends
since high school but like I said, he doesnt really
open up. I try to be super talkative and caring,
if there is something bothering him, he's not
telling ! I was there for the first accident, with our
other bff & my sis. He got into another one but
he said it wasnt too serious.

I do notice he is constantly distracted (maybe
dissassociated?) Um...he is very detached.
Personality wise he reminds me of Hank
from King of the Hill. 


Shockwave-
Wow that is a very good observation. I think
everything you said is spot on. I am probably his
closest girl friend. I know my posts sound kind of
callous and cold but I havent walked in his shoes.
I havent really ever been in the friendzone
and men somewhat work differently than women when
it comes to these things.


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## sapphire22 (Jun 9, 2013)

Additional info:

I dont know if his parents think we're dating bc
I have been over his house by myself (with out my girl)
We just play video games and stuff. He mentioned
the other day his dad said "(his name) are you going to see ___(me)"

So i havent been over. Ive only been over maximum of 
4 or 5 times since the year started.

All in all, the distance thing isnt the issue, i don't
see him often enough (like in high school & last year)


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## cousin corona (Jun 13, 2011)

You sound more sociable than he is....He probably has SA.

Also you the friendship was screwed the minute he started liking you anyway. Best put this one to rest.


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

sapphire22 said:


> I have speculated he might have SA but I doubt it.
> He's outgoing enough that I really dont think thats it.


That doesn't necessarily mean he can't have it. I can come off as more outgoing than I really am in my current school now, since I'm so used to the environment. When I was new, my SA was extremely obvious. I could just as easily say you don't have SA, since you seem fairly outgoing and sociable from what you've described.
Just take that into account. He might be "boring" because he suffers the same problems we do.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

You're not friends.

He's just a guy who wants a romantic/physical relationship with you. You don't feel the same way, but he can't really accept it.


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## Wulfgar (Aug 23, 2013)

what do you mean you "dont know what guys like this are capable of" ? are you suggessting that he might be dangerous?....if that was based on fact then I would understand but based on the information given, you (or your "other friends") are sounding a bit presumptuous....I think maybe you've made the right choice by deleting him.... maybe now he might find a friend who really cares enough about him as a person to not just make ridiculous assumptions instead of simply going up to him and asking "WHATS WRONG? ARE YOU OK?".......jeez...what are friends for anyway?


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## sapphire22 (Jun 9, 2013)

Last post:

Okay, first of all, dont project your snarky
comments on me because you disagree
with what I did. What other people see
you sometimes DONT see yourself. 
Yeah it probably will be better not being friends !
Like the other person said above me.
He's not my 'friend', he is a guy who will
never get what he wants from me. Oh well, bye
bye. 

Being presumptuous about this? LOL
Ive known him (including our friends) for
4-5 years. With all due respect, no one says
that type of stuff if they werent serious! 
Even my friends dad said it. 

I know what SA is, I have been diagnosed.
I recognize my own kind. Im probably just
a higher functioning one.

Thanks for the help from some people on
this thread


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