# Friend-Zone Fiona



## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

Friend-zone fiona, the perfect representation of a friend-zone situation :no:


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## gentleman caller (Feb 22, 2012)

I don't believe in the idea of a friend zone. It just means they you are not sexually attractive to her. I think people came up with the idea of the 'friend zone' because their egos were too hurt to face the truth. Just move on.


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

These are hilarious.


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

gentleman caller said:


> I don't believe in the idea of a friend zone. It just means they you are not sexually attractive to her. I think people came up with the idea of the 'friend zone' because their egos were too hurt to face the truth. Just move on.


If you can't move on or refuse to (for whatever reason) you're in the friend-zone :|. It exists, but it's just a girl not being attracted to you while you're attracted to her.


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

^ A few more lol


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## quietmusicman (Feb 3, 2012)

we could be more than friends... we could be best friends


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)




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## Nefury (May 9, 2011)




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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

^ LOL :lol


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## lonelyjew (Jan 20, 2010)

Ha! These are great. Men really need to learn to cut and run in these sorts of relationships.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Either the girl is into you or she isn't. It's as simple as that. If you are in the "friend zone", you were always there! Or maybe she did find you attractive at one point but then something about you turned her off afterwards. And you can't treat a woman's acceptance/rejection of you as some sort of referendum of your character or desirability. Because different girls are looking for different things or interested in different types of guys.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

I feel bad for putting a girl in the friend zone and second and a third and....


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)




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## huh (Mar 19, 2007)

I still prefer the onion :b

http://www.theonion.com/articles/but-if-we-started-dating-it-would-ruin-our-friends,11473/


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

huh said:


> I still prefer the onion :b
> 
> http://www.theonion.com/articles/but-if-we-started-dating-it-would-ruin-our-friends,11473/





> Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn't answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would die if something like that happened to us.
> 
> Plus, ick, can you even imagine getting naked in front of each other? I've known you so long, you're more like a brother that I've drunkenly made out with twice and never mentioned again. It'd be way too weird. And if we did, then whenever you'd come shopping with me, or go to one of my performances or charity events, or take me for ice cream when I've had a bad day at work, you'd be looking at me like, "I've seen her breasts." God, I can't think of anything more awkward that that.
> 
> ...


LMFAO :lol :haha



> No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.


:rofl


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## Snail Shells (Feb 11, 2012)

Being in the friendzone is largely the guy's fault. If you're in the friend zone, break it off with her. Either she's going to realize that she DOES want you as more than a friend or you're going to end an unhealthy relationship that was doing nothing but sapping you of energy and happiness. There's no downside. I know this from experience haha.

That being said, I love these pics.


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## Cynical (Aug 23, 2011)

I never got into this type of problem..... probably because I'm way too logical, level headed, and cursed with unending forethought... (is that sad?) anyway I takes a freaking long time before I fall for a girl, and even if I do I dunno I can somehow will myself to change the form of love that I feel for that person??? plus if I know that it bad/impossible for us I automatically keep them at arms length to avoid such feelings.... urgh, kinda sounds horrible now that I wrote it.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

gentleman caller said:


> I don't believe in the idea of a friend zone. It just means they you are not sexually attractive to her. I think people came up with the idea of the 'friend zone' because their egos were too hurt to face the truth. Just move on.


This.

I'm just LOL'ing at the idea of a friends zone. It's nonexistent, just a term coined by the PUA community.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Friend zone DEFINITELY exists. Example: a girl is interested in you, but you never read the signals or you don't have enough confidence to know what to do about them. Time will pass and she will lose interest and move on. She will start to think that you are too wimpy and/or lack the confidence to be with her. Interest is lost, she has a different perception of you...and that perception defines the friend zone, which is incredibly hard to get out of. Of course, if you are an incredibly handsome and gorgeous guy, I doubt it really matters. But for the vast majority of guys, the friend zone absolutely exists. There are even cases where both people could be attracted to one another but one person doesn't want to potentially ruin the friendship with sex and/or dating. And then of course the last case, where you start out as friends and over time one person develops feelings for the other. All situations where if you, as the person in the friend zone, tried to make a move, it could totally creep out the woman. That's not to say it's impossible to get out of the friend zone, I mean some of the best relationships are people who start as friends. But in general it is tough because that initial attraction from the woman is gone (or wasn't there to begin with) and you have to really have to work hard to get her interested in that way.

I know from personal experience that the friend zone exists. In high school, a girl that was sort of my friend asked me three times to the senior prom. I wasn't interested in her in that way at first (mostly because I thought I had no chance), but eventually I relented and agreed. It didn't hit me till about a month later (despite her dropping so many hints during this time) that she might be interested in me as more than friends, and I was so desperate at the time that when I did realize it I fell in love with her in like two seconds. But I didn't really know what to do...I had NO confidence...hated myself...SA...all that crap. So I tried hanging out with her more but had even less to say because I was so incredibly nervous around her. And then about a month before senior prom, she gets a boyfriend. We still end up going to the prom together, but her bf showed up too. It was a disaster. I was miserable. I blew it. I showed her that I didn't know how to handle the situation and she friend-zoned me to the point that she even got a bf while we were already going to the senior prom together. Point is, there was interest at first, then I got friend-zoned, and if I met her today, she would still have that perception of me and it would take EXTRA work to get out of it as opposed to if I had never met her before.


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

Oh god this is a painfull reminder for me:|


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

Lol, i can so relate to pretty much all of those.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Hopeful25 said:


> If you can't move on or refuse to (for whatever reason) you're in the friend-zone :|. It exists, but it's just a girl not being attracted to you while you're attracted to her.


What if, a girl is attracted to you, but you don't feel the same way?



phoenixwright said:


> Either the girl is into you or she isn't. It's as simple as that.


After this, there is nothing else. :yes


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

rymo said:


> Friend zone DEFINITELY exists. Example: a girl is interested in you, but you never read the signals or you don't have enough confidence to know what to do about them. Time will pass and she will lose interest and move on. She will start to think that you are too wimpy and/or lack the confidence to be with her.


I would pretty much have no interest in a woman that wants me to be like that and expect me to read her mind. I would think a woman would pull her own weight in conversating with somebody she likes.


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## gentleman caller (Feb 22, 2012)

Losing attraction is just that. People's feelings change. There is no such thing as a friendzone. It is just the absence of sexual attraction and feelings. Like I said people come up with the most absurd things to protect their ego.


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## leave me alone (Apr 1, 2011)

I don't care whether it exists or not. Some of those are funny and totally true.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

gentleman caller:1059699174 said:


> Losing attraction is just that. People's feelings change. There is no such thing as a friendzone. It is just the absence of sexual attraction and feelings. Like I said people come up with the most absurd things to protect their ego.


Friendzone is just a term to describe exactly what you just said. It's not some actual, mental construct...it's just a term to describe that situation. And how being in the that situation protects anyone's ego I have no idea.


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## gentleman caller (Feb 22, 2012)

Because a friend zone implies that the friendship is too valuable to ruin or some garbage like that. When it really means she does not find you sexually attractive. It's dishonest to yourself and rationalizing your rejection as some kind of consolation prize.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I always thought the girl was kidding or would try and humiliate me if I asked her out. I gave up after 8th grade,


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

gentleman caller:1059699412 said:


> Because a friend zone implies that the friendship is too valuable to ruin or some garbage like that. When it really means she does not find you sexually attractive. It's dishonest to yourself and rationalizing your rejection as some kind of consolation prize.


I think most guys view the friendzone idea as having incredibly negative connotations. I don't recall anyone in my lifetime ever mentioning being friendzoned in order to rationalize the situation...but rather just to express their dismay and disappointment. And there are so many cases where a girl is attracted at one point in a guy and not another, but still wants to remain friends with him. I think this situation absolutely cries friend zone.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

I'm not sure the Friend Zone is there to save your ego...how could it? It means she doesn't want you that way. And usually it is hard to exit the Friend Zone, unless you don't want to be her friend at all, lol.


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## Losm (Jan 23, 2011)

I think the whole 'friend zone' thing is a bit silly, but those are still funny :b


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

BobtheSaint said:


> What if, a girl is attracted to you, but you don't feel the same way?


Then she's in the friend-zone also. It's not only exclusive to males, females get into it as well.


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

gentleman caller said:


> Losing attraction is just that. People's feelings change. There is no such thing as a friendzone. It is just the absence of sexual attraction and feelings. Like I said people come up with the most absurd things to protect their ego.





gentleman caller said:


> Because a friend zone implies that the friendship is too valuable to ruin or some garbage like that. When it really means she does not find you sexually attractive. It's dishonest to yourself and rationalizing your rejection as some kind of consolation prize.


Rymo already said it, I don't know why you think the term "friend-zone" is ego-related. It's simple: Person A likes person B but person B is not romantically/sexually attracted to person A. So person A is in the friend zone: they like someone who doesn't like them back. No one said anything about "friendship being too important to them", they just don't like the other person that way. Whoever told you that's what the friend-zone is is misinformed.


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## identitycrisis (Sep 18, 2011)

I've always defined 'friend-zone' as meaning the person is (consciously or subconsciously) using your attraction for them to satisfy their emotional needs, which is a lot different than simply 'not being attracted to you'. Also different than a real friend, who would be very open about where your relationship stands, as opposed to stringing you along for personal benefit.

I think everyone's definition is going to be at least a little different.

That said, Fiona's hilarious


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

rymo said:


> I think most guys view the friendzone idea as having incredibly negative connotations. I don't recall anyone in my lifetime ever mentioning being friendzoned in order to rationalize the situation...but rather just to express their dismay and disappointment. And there are so many cases where a girl is attracted at one point in a guy and not another, but still wants to remain friends with him. I think this situation absolutely cries friend zone.


Exactly :yes


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

About 5 or so years ago, there was this girl who tried to create an atypical 'friend zone' sort of arrangement with me. :um I honestly was not attracted to her in that way - I find it quite hard to be attracted to someone in the first place (I'm not like most guys) and she was far from my type both physically speaking and personality wise.

Anyway, I was a lot more awkward than I am now and I acted probably overly nice because I genuinely wanted to be friends (we had some common interests) she must have thought though that I had a crush on her because of these factors. So basically not to long after we had met she starts really badly trying to play me but I see through the attempts every single time lol :b She wanted me to buy her drinks when we were down the pub, to give her lifts to places and even to drop what ever I was doing sometimes just so she could have someone to talk to. I tactfully refused on pretty much every single occasion. :yes 

Needless to say this friendship was doomed from the start and about a month later she moves out to live elsewhere. It also didn't end well for her after that, because I knew from a friend on the same course as her that she started dating a low-life scum bag Steve type of dude. This also must have ended quite badly because she started bombarding me with texts and calls about 4/5 months later saying she's feeling down and needs someone to talk to... I changed my number and forgot about her. I know it sounds cold, but I don't think I could have done things any differently.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Hopeful25 said:


> Rymo already said it, I don't know why you think the term "friend-zone" is ego-related. It's simple: Person A likes person B but person B is not romantically/sexually attracted to person A. So person A is in the friend zone: *they like someone who doesn't like them back.* No one said anything about "friendship being too important to them", they just don't like the other person that way. Whoever told you that's what the friend-zone is is misinformed.


It's nothing but just a crush.


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

BobtheSaint said:


> It's nothing but just a crush.


A crush who you're close friends with, but you know you have no chance with them (as it stands right now, later down the line maybe, but right now he/she is not attracted to you). A crush is just with anyone, this is a crush on a friend (someone you see on a daily basis) and you know that they don't like you.


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

Paper Samurai said:


> This also must have ended quite badly because she started bombarding me with texts and calls about 4/5 months later saying she's feeling down and needs someone to talk to... *I changed my number and forgot about her. I know it sounds cold, but I don't think I could have done things any differently.*


That is cold, but I understand why you did it. I probably wouldn't have done that though, but maybe I'm just too nice. Seperating from people like that seems to always be for the best (because they wanted to use you in the past, so how can we be sure she won't do it again? lesson learned for that person, now find someone else to confide in).


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## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

The solution to this "problem" is right here:










although I wouldnt call it a problem, friends are very useful.
Why does she have to have sex with you?! Why cant you hang out as friends and she can invite all her friends and you meet other people?
thats what i did


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Hopeful25 said:


> That is cold, but I understand why you did it. I probably wouldn't have done that though, but maybe I'm just too nice. Seperating from people like that seems to always be for the best (because they wanted to use you in the past, so how can we be sure she won't do it again? lesson learned for that person, now find someone else to confide in).


You should meet her, I think then you'll probably agree with me without a moments hesistation :b She was incredibly sulky half the time, two faced and overly critical. I always try and find the good in people and I have no issues being friends with someone that is unpopular or a bit eccentric providing there's a spark of good underneath. With this girl, there was nothing. A void of all human empathy, a destroyer of happiness and an unrepentant manipulator. I've only met a couple of people in my entire life that I would categorise in the same bracket as her, and the lesson I have learnt time and time again is to stay the heck away from them !


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## Snail Shells (Feb 11, 2012)

Paper Samurai said:


> This also must have ended quite badly because she started bombarding me with texts and calls about 4/5 months later saying she's feeling down and needs someone to talk to... I changed my number and forgot about her. I know it sounds cold, but I don't think I could have done things any differently.


Think you did the right thing. I was in a situation kinda similar to yours where I had to cut off a best friend, and overall it was a good choice, although it was a painful one.

Sometimes relationships are toxic, and need to be broken.


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

Snail Shells said:


> Being in the friendzone is largely the guy's fault. *If you're in the friend zone, break it off with her.* Either she's going to realize that she DOES want you as more than a friend or you're going to end an unhealthy relationship that was doing nothing but sapping you of energy and happiness. There's no downside. I know this from experience haha.


Very well said! :clap The friend zone is ok if: You actually want to be friends with her. If not, adios! :lol

These pics...along with other meme pics are hilarious!


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

Paper Samurai said:


> You should meet her, I think then you'll probably agree with me without a moments hesistation :b She was incredibly sulky half the time, two faced and overly critical. I always try and find the good in people and I have no issues being friends with someone that is unpopular or a bit eccentric providing there's a spark of good underneath. With this girl, there was nothing. A void of all human empathy, a destroyer of happiness and an unrepentant manipulator. I've only met a couple of people in my entire life that I would categorise in the same bracket as her, *and the lesson I have learnt time and time again is to stay the heck away from them!*


So true :yes. There's absolutely no point in staying in that kind of relationship. Thanks for the extra info, now I know I would have done the exact same thing.


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## NatureFellow (Jun 14, 2011)

I don't feel remotely attracted to that woman :/
Am serious
srs bsns


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

Hopeful25 said:


> Then she's in the friend-zone also. It's not only exclusive to males, females get into it as well.


And yet... it's Friend Zone Fiona?

The "friend zone" may be a problem for females as well as males, but the premise behind the meme is that women are shallow and hypocritical, which any SAS frequenter would know is a commonly-held belief among many of the men here. Sure it's not true that ALL women are like Fiona and since the women on SAS are so different and special there's no need for them to get offended, but the meme is probably as funny to me as










is to you.


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## lonelyjew (Jan 20, 2010)

rednosereindeer said:


> And yet... it's Friend Zone Fiona?
> 
> The "friend zone" may be a problem for females as well as males, but the premise behind the meme is that women are shallow and hypocritical, which any SAS frequenter would know is a commonly-held belief among many of the men here. Sure it's not true that *ALL *women are like Fiona and since the women on SAS are so different and special there's no need for them to get offended, but the meme is probably as funny to me as


What is it with people putting words in our mouths, claiming we're making any sort of sweeping generalizations? 'Post about a racist white man,' response: "how dare you claim *ALL* white men are racist?!" 'Post about an overly sensitive/angry feminist' response: "how dare you claim *ALL* feminists are overly sensitive/angry?!" Nobody here is saying that all women lead men on to use them as emotional rags, but those women are out there, and it is those that this thread is about. Again, *this thread is not about ALL women*, but women who knowingly take advantage of a man's attraction for their personal gain.



Paper Samurai said:


> This also must have ended quite badly because she started bombarding me with texts and calls about 4/5 months later saying she's feeling down and needs someone to talk to... I changed my number and forgot about her. I know it sounds cold, but I don't think I could have done things any differently.


Great decision on your part. It is easy to get sucked in, thinking it would be immoral not to give a "friend" help in their time of need, despite any hurt they might have brought upon you. Funny also how these "friends" can not call for months on end and then when they need an emotional crutch, they suddenly start calling and telling you how much of a great friend you are.


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## DAM71392 (Jan 28, 2012)

how come u ppl on here are always talkin about relationships?!! i feel like i'm not so much on the same boat as any of u anymore


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## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

The friend zone is real, I got friend zoned twice in high school its just a label for a common situation. It doesn't exist though if you just want to be friends, i think that's where the confusion comes in. Anyway in one case I know she was attracted to me, but she realized how little confidence i had, and decided that i was not worthy to be anything more than friends. She used to hang all over me anyways, and lead me to think we might get to together. It was my fault for allowing it to happen, but i had tunnel vision only seeing what i wanted to see, stuff that reinforced my hope that we might get together. She and I wanted different things from the relationship that's what the friend zone is all about.

This goes for both sexes: I think one thing that leads to being friend zoned is being too nice, that just doesn't work. I'm still nice but not a doormat like i used to be when i was infatuated.Theres difference between being nice and and being too nice. You dont want to _ always _ put the others needs ahead of your own, thats what I thought would attract girls, wrong lol. If you just do whatever they say, and don't assert yourself sometimes, you won't get respect which is key. They'll like you because you are so nice, but they won't respect you in the way they need to, in order to see you as a romantic interest. Anxiety according to Dr. David Burns, ( the famous CBT psychologist) is the nice people disease, he talks about how most anxious people are the nicest in the world.I think that's why people on here are more likely to get friend zoned, we're more likely to be a doormat to someone else living under the " nice guy/girl" delusion. Obviously there's other reasons for the friend zone, attraction being the largest one.On here people are more likely to not find low confidence a deal breaker, because they themselves know what its like myself included. But for your average non-anxious person they see it as weakness for some reason.

I am not some PUA guy, and have learned this all on my own, using common sense, observation, experiences, and talking with more successful people my age. I just struggle with self confidence/esteem whatever you want to call it, and have observed how it has affected me in relationships with other people whether it be friends or more.


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## Snail Shells (Feb 11, 2012)

Keith said:


> This goes for both sexes: I think one thing that leads to being friend zoned is being too nice, that just doesn't work. I'm still nice but not a doormat like i used to be when i was infatuated.Theres difference between being nice and and being too nice. You dont want to _ always _ put the others needs ahead of your own, thats what I thought would attract girls, wrong lol. If you just do whatever they say, and don't assert yourself sometimes, you won't get respect which is key. They'll like you because you are so nice, but they won't respect you in the way they need to, in order to see you as a romantic interest. Anxiety according to Dr. David Burns, ( the famous CBT psychologist) is the nice people disease, he talks about how most anxious people are the nicest in the world.I think that's why people on here are more likely to get friend zoned, we're more likely to be a doormat to someone else living under the " nice guy/girl" delusion. Obviously there's other reasons for the friend zone, attraction being the largest one.On here people are more likely to not find low confidence a deal breaker, because they themselves know what its like myself included. But for your average non-anxious person they see it as weakness for some reason.


*Exactly* _*right.*_ +1 gazillion.


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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

Hopeful25 said:


>


LMAO


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

rednosereindeer said:


> And yet... it's Friend Zone Fiona?
> 
> The "friend zone" may be a problem for females as well as males, but the premise behind the meme is that women are shallow and hypocritical, which any SAS frequenter would know is a commonly-held belief among many of the men here. Sure it's not true that ALL women are like Fiona and since the women on SAS are so different and special there's no need for them to get offended, but the meme is probably as funny to me as
> 
> ...


I actually find that kinda funny lol.

If it makes you feel any better there's a "friend-zoned phil":










I think this is all for laughs and no one is trying to generalize any gender or offend anyone. A lot of guys initiate, and therefore a lot more guys probably get friend-zoned because they become friends with the intention of becoming something more but the relationship doesn't develop that way. Again, I'm not saying "all women don't initiate", just that the more typical form of starting a relationship for men is approaching a girl and showing interest, while for girls it isn't as encouraged as it is for guys, guys will probably be friend-zoned more. Plus guys came up with the term lol.


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)




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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Hopeful25 said:


> Plus guys came up with the term lol.


The only time I've seen the term is on SAS and from PUA guides.


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

BobtheSaint said:


> The only time I've seen the term is on SAS and from PUA guides.


I hear it all the time :| (or at least I did in high school, which was a year ago). I still believe it exists as a relationship position.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Hopeful25 said:


> I hear it all the time :| (or at least I did in high school, which was a year ago). I still believe it exists as a relationship position.


For real, you've heard it in real life? I've seen people get into successful relationships a lot, be it coming out of friendship or not...and in my 21 years of living, I still never heard anyone mention such a theory in real life.:sus BTW, congrats on getting 2900 posts


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

BobtheSaint said:


> For real, you've heard it in real life? I've seen people get into successful relationships a lot, be it coming out of friendship or not...and in my 21 years of living, I still never heard anyone mention such a theory in real life.:sus


Yep, hear it all the time. There's a show called "Friend-Zone" on MTV, and this is after the term was created so I'm guessing it caught on :stu.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Hopeful25 said:


> Yep, hear it all the time. There's a show called "Friend-Zone" on MTV, and this is after the term was created so I'm guessing it caught on :stu.


LOL, MTV really needed another reality stunt. Facepalm. :stu

The show started in about 2011, which is probably why I never heard of it, and I still haven't. Since guys seem to be the more confident gender, that leads to me to say the term was invented by guys because of ego. But I'm not buying into the ploy, it'll just hold me back. :afr


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

BobtheSaint said:


> LOL, MTV really needed another reality stunt. Facepalm. :stu
> 
> The show started in about 2011, which is probably why I never heard of it, and I still haven't. Since guys seem to be the more confident gender, that leads to me to say the term was invented by guys because of ego. But I'm not buying into the ploy, it'll just hold me back. :afr


I know right? MTV's so bad now, I don't think I've turned to that channel in months at least.

Yeah it was definitely developed because of the ego and wanting to be more masculine and pick up more chicks. Unfortunately I have to buy into it because I've been there lol. But at least I can move on from the experience knowing how to avoid it in the future. :yes


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## blue the puppy (Jul 23, 2011)

i love how she's dating scumbag steve :lol


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Hopeful25 said:


> I know right? MTV's so bad now, I don't think I've turned to that channel in months at least.
> 
> Yeah it was definitely developed because of the ego and wanting to be more masculine and pick up more chicks. Unfortunately I have to buy into it because I've been there lol. But at least I can move on from the experience knowing how to avoid it in the future. :yes


Yes, MTV sucks lol. I'd assume it was those types of guys that are just after one thing (you know what it is) that made it up. But that's never going to be my intention.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

LOL this thread is funny.


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## Jenikyula gone mad (Nov 9, 2009)

I know someone who gets friend-zoned a lot, and I suspect it's because...he never directly expresses his feelings. If he likes someone, he should give some indication of it! For example, even just saying "I like you" or "would you like to go an a date" would probably work. I swear, I have seen him hang out with a multitude of girls who OBVIOUSLY like him, and yet....he doesn't go for it! And this guy is sort of cute and nerdy, and must have low confidence. Otherwise he'd be swimming in cute nerdy girls! 

The lack of directness in out culture is astounding. Subtlety is soooo frustrating. Wouldn't it be great if everyone HAD to tell the truth and say exactly what they were thinking?


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## Snail Shells (Feb 11, 2012)

Jenikyula gone mad said:


> I know someone who gets friend-zoned a lot, and I suspect it's because...he never directly expresses his feelings. If he likes someone, he should give some indication of it! For example, even just saying "I like you" or "would you like to go an a date" would probably work. I swear, I have seen him hang out with a multitude of girls who OBVIOUSLY like him, and yet....he doesn't go for it! And this guy is sort of cute and nerdy, and must have low confidence. Otherwise he'd be swimming in cute nerdy girls!
> 
> The lack of directness in out culture is astounding. Subtlety is soooo frustrating. Wouldn't it be great if everyone HAD to tell the truth and say exactly what they were thinking?


Exactly. Being friendzoned is mainly the guy's fault. Be direct, show your feelings, and if they aren't reciprocated, then either find a way to not be attracted to her or get out.


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## lonelyjew (Jan 20, 2010)

Snail Shells said:


> Exactly. Being friendzoned is mainly the guy's fault. Be direct, show your feelings, and if they aren't reciprocated, then either find a way to not be attracted to her or get out.


I wouldn't say always; there are women out there who will knowingly use sexual attraction to get what they want out of men, and string them along, with no intention of pursuing a romantic relationship. Also, you say "Be direct" as if it is an easy thing to do. If you're on this forum, and actually suffer from social anxiety, you should be able to understand that something that simple, that should be easy, can be insanely hard.


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## Snail Shells (Feb 11, 2012)

lonelyjew said:


> I wouldn't say always; there are women out there who will knowingly use sexual attraction to get what they want out of men, and string them along, with no intention of pursuing a romantic relationship. Also, you say "Be direct" as if it is an easy thing to do. If you're on this forum, and actually suffer from social anxiety, you should be able to understand that something that simple, that should be easy, can be insanely hard.


Yeah, everything you say here's true. I guess I just think that at a certain point a guy has to be able to see when a woman's using him and be able to have the presence of mind to say "Enough. I'm ending things with you." I've had to do this before, and it's honestly been good for me.

Being direct is one of the hardest things a shy person can do, I know from experience haha. But, it's also, in my humble opinion, an excellent way to both overcome social anxiety and meet people. People appreciate the mental fortitude it takes to to just approach a stranger and make yourself known. I've lost a ton of opportunities because of my shyness and my failure to initiate. I'm not doing that any more, and I just hope that others can realize this earlier than I did and perhaps not miss out on some of the good things that I did.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Men use women, women use men. It goes both ways.


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## Toppington (Oct 26, 2011)

Lmao... I love you, Hopeful.



Hopeful25 said:


>


Ouch. That one hit home.


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## lonelyjew (Jan 20, 2010)

Snail Shells said:


> Yeah, everything you say here's true. I guess I just think that at a certain point a guy has to be able to see when a woman's using him and be able to have the presence of mind to say "Enough. I'm ending things with you." I've had to do this before, and it's honestly been good for me.
> 
> Being direct is one of the hardest things a shy person can do, I know from experience haha. But, it's also, in my humble opinion, an excellent way to both overcome social anxiety and meet people. People appreciate the mental fortitude it takes to to just approach a stranger and make yourself known. I've lost a ton of opportunities because of my shyness and my failure to initiate. I'm not doing that any more, and I just hope that others can realize this earlier than I did and perhaps not miss out on some of the good things that I did.


I completely agree, and I'm glad you've found the strength to make such progress.

One situation that can make it very hard to simply walk away from such a relationship is when the person is using you as an emotional crutch. That is, they may have real problems that you help them with, and despite a completely uneven relationship - they may never be there for you, or blow you off when they don't need you - it can seem cold and mean to cut someone out of your life when they legitimately need you. This was my personal situation, and for a while, even knowing the relationship was not healthy, I took the attitude that self sacrifice was noble. It took really seeing how little she cared to be there for me, and how much that hurt, to really see that I had to start looking at my own well being first.

Anyways, back to making a move, that is critical, and it is on the guy. I don't blame people on here for not being able to, but blame is irrelevant because even if it is unfair that they are unable to make a move, they still won't be able to get a girl without doing so. There is no sense at being upset at women for guys having to be the ones to initiate either, because that is just the reality of the situation, and it is probably something that, at least in part, biologically hardwired.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Snail Shells said:


> Exactly. Being friendzoned is mainly the guy's fault. Be direct, show your feelings, and if they aren't reciprocated, then either find a way to not be attracted to her or get out.


People being used by others isn't their own fault. It's not ok to use others just because they are weaker or have confidence issues.
And it can be really hard to just walk away if the person actually, genuinely needs help. Or indeed if you're lonely and desperate for interaction :um

I have been in the situation too many times.
But I haven't noticed the same boost you have from ending things. I guess it depends what you are ending it in favour of.


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## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

I want to say, guys get in the friend-zone because they have nothing to offer that particular woman. If you have no job it's hard to date a woman, no woman wants to take care of a man. If you have no hygiene, how can she be attracted? If you have no aspirations and are self-loathing, who wants to be around that negativity constantly other than another negative person (misery loves company). I hate to generalize here, but a lot of guys I throw in the friend zone are a combination of some of the above and plus the fact they TRY TOO HARD. I just want anyone who thinks they are constantly put in the friendzone to do one thing: google body language. A lot of friend-zone guys tend to be clueless about hints... you can usually tell very shortly if a woman is attracted to you, and if she's not then you very likely won't be able to change that so don't carry a torch for her and waste your time. Learn body language, charisma, confidence, and make sure you are taking care of yourself (including your life and what you do with your time). That is what women want. I'm not trying to be harsh as this is a social anxiety website. I have been depressed on the verge of suicide, overweight, jobless and a female version of friend-zone guys so I do truly understand. I've been there before. Just please realise it's VERY hard to mean a confident, successful, gorgeous woman when you are dealing with the traits of men who are generally friend-zone aka the "nice guy" traits. No woman wants a doormat. We won't take you seriously. Some are cruel and will push you around and take advantage, some are kinder and will just reject you gentley which to you won't take the hint and perhaps continue to "fight" for her love. I'm not speaking for all of you, I know some of you definitely don't have this problem very badly or at all, but the ones that do please read about body language and flirting. Body language is a hugeeeeeee huge huge part of socializing and I found once I started to study and practice it life became so much easier! When less pressure is put on saying the perfect words it's easier to relax and also a lot easier to just read people in general. Anyway, that's what I wanted to post here. Good luck to anyone dealing with this problem. I honestly feel for you. It hurts to be lead on and have a carrot dangled in your face. Yes, women should be more direct and not play with your feelings like they're the cat and you're the dead mouse they bat around - but they will. Many simply don't care, just like many men lead women on and use them aswell. I want you to gain some awareness of the situation and practice new skills. You all deserve to feel happy and not in a situation again with another "Fiona"


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

kathy903 said:


> A lot of friend-zone guys tend to be clueless about hints... you can usually tell very shortly if a woman is attracted to you, and if she's not then you very likely won't be able to change that so don't carry a torch for her and waste your time.


Some of what you say is true, but signals are often difficult for the average guy to read. What is wrong with the woman being more direct in her communication?


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

srschirm said:


> Some of what you say is true, but signals are often difficult for the average guy to read. What is wrong with the woman being more direct in her communication?


I prefer women that are direct...I don't read minds.


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## lonelyjew (Jan 20, 2010)

kathy903 said:


> I want to say, guys get in the friend-zone because they have nothing to offer that particular woman. If you have no job it's hard to date a woman, no woman wants to take care of a man. If you have no hygiene, how can she be attracted? If you have no aspirations and are self-loathing, who wants to be around that negativity constantly other than another negative person (misery loves company). I hate to generalize here, but a lot of guys I throw in the friend zone are a combination of some of the above and plus the fact they TRY TOO HARD. I just want anyone who thinks they are constantly put in the friendzone to do one thing: google body language. A lot of friend-zone guys tend to be clueless about hints... you can usually tell very shortly if a woman is attracted to you, and if she's not then you very likely won't be able to change that so don't carry a torch for her and waste your time. Learn body language, charisma, *confidence*, and make sure you are taking care of yourself (including your life and what you do with your time). That is what women want. I'm not trying to be harsh as this is a social anxiety website. I have been depressed on the verge of suicide, overweight, jobless and a female version of friend-zone guys so I do truly understand. I've been there before. Just please realise it's VERY hard to mean a confident, successful, gorgeous woman when you are dealing with the traits of men who are generally friend-zone aka the "nice guy" traits.* No woman wants a doormat. We won't take you seriously*. Some are cruel and will push you around and take advantage, some are kinder and will just reject you gentley which to you won't take the hint and perhaps continue to "fight" for her love. I'm not speaking for all of you, I know some of you definitely don't have this problem very badly or at all, but the ones that do please read about body language and flirting. Body language is a hugeeeeeee huge huge part of socializing and I found once I started to study and practice it life became so much easier! When less pressure is put on saying the perfect words it's easier to relax and also a lot easier to just read people in general. Anyway, that's what I wanted to post here. Good luck to anyone dealing with this problem. I honestly feel for you. It hurts to be lead on and have a carrot dangled in your face. Yes, women should be more direct and not play with your feelings like they're the cat and you're the dead mouse they bat around - but they will. Many simply don't care, just like many men lead women on and use them aswell. I want you to gain some awareness of the situation and practice new skills. You all deserve to feel happy and not in a situation again with another "Fiona"


I bolded the parts I think are most relevant to most "nice guys." From my experience it has nothing to do with being nice, more a lack of confidence, that often shows though being overly nice, and a complete inability to make a move.



srschirm said:


> Some of what you say is true, but signals are often difficult for the average guy to read. What is wrong with the woman being more direct in her communication?


They just aren't. While guys think women should be more direct, women think guys should be able to read them better. Guys will generally have to learn to deal with it if they hope to be successful in dating. I'm lucky in that my GF flat out told me she learned long ago if you actually want something from a guy it is far more productive to be direct about it rather than hoping for the best and getting upset when you don't get it; she's one of the rare one's though.


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## mzmz (Feb 26, 2012)

*my fave site about this crap*

http://www.laddertheory.com/ladderconstruction.htm

:boogie


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## CoolSauce (Mar 6, 2012)

gentleman caller said:


> Losing attraction is just that. People's feelings change. There is no such thing as a friendzone. It is just the absence of sexual attraction and feelings. Like I said people come up with the most absurd things to protect their ego.


getting friendzoned means, to me, that you've known a person for a while and feel sexually attracted to him/her but once you realize he/she only looks at you as a friend it means you got friendzoned. He/she never wás interested in you in a 'relation' way.

It's not something the person you have a crush on feels but it's your feeling of having your bubble bursted.


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

mzmz said:


> http://www.laddertheory.com/ladderconstruction.htm
> 
> :boogie


:eek

Loving this post ^^^^


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## Johnny_Genome (Nov 11, 2003)

I can only speak from the experience of myself and my guy friends.

I have several friends who will go out on 'dates' to only find out that they are not dates. They seemed like dates (he paid for concert tickets / dinner, sometimes more than once...). Inevitably they find out the girl has her eye on someone else. This is what they usually refer to as being friend-zoned.


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