# I can't connect with anyone/feel useless



## AE722 (Mar 10, 2017)

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Sorry if this is in the wrong place

I don't really know how to start this but it's something that I've hit a wall at. I've tried so much all of my life to connect and bond with others but no one has ever really met me half way.

I'll skim some details and sorry if I go all over the place

Was always the loner growing up, kids were a******s and everyone grouped up together. I was good friends with my cousin growing up but once they found a GF, they forgot I existed even after the inevitable break up. Only other instance was a friend from 8th grade up but now its the same thing, they rather have a relationship and complain about only having satellite internet, having relationship issues, being in a rural area so jobs are too hind to find as oppose to moving here with me where there's an extra room and a lot more job and career opportunities. He never answers my texts anymore.

I've tried everything, mimic other successful behavior, kept a relaxed smile and body language and have things flow as natural as possible. I've had several jobs, went to college (recently graduated), it's always the same. At best, I find some common interest with someone, they seem interested, we talk at work or school than they suddenly never want to have anything to do with me. Ive been to meet ups too. Everyone, EVERYONE, always has their own groups and never have any time or interest to include me, which I kind of get when you have a relationship and a full time job, usually no one HAS time to invest, or at least that's what I tell myself. It just sucks when I see people are buddy-buddy to each other.

It's gotten a bit better due to finally getting a career based job and that's made me feel a bit hopeful of life after 3 whole years of hell (but that's beside the point) 

I feel this agonizing empty pain inside whenever I play some kind of game or watch some kind of show that always involves fighting or conflict and persevering for people you love and they actually talk to you, they approach them and say hi, they say nice things to each other. I know it's more or less fantasy, but I just can't shake off feeling useless and alone. I get severe withdrawals from games like that where you have friends or some amazing person worth fighting for and overcoming conflicts. Because I self reflect and the pain is something I don't feel like there's any solution for. 

I went to the doctor for Chronic Fatigue and Prozac and Venlafaxine and that did nothing (even dropping it suddenly did nothing). I can't help but stay in my room and just play some Pokémon game and suffer when I have to turn the game off. The people that would emphasize is probably somewhere but I have no way to find them, it's too much luck that might not ever pay off. I just don't feel like I fit in anywhere or anyone doesn't want to have anything to do with me

This includes online too, I even found someone in a chat, we had EVERYTHING in common, and we played some new things together and had a blast then suddenly they went on to another person they know that I talked to a bit and playing their own games on Steam or whatever.

It happens every time in different situations. I know it's not their fault but it doesn't help the agonizing heart ache. I just want to see a sincere smile for me and something and someone to fight for, not just rest in my room in the dark imagining that the character that gives a about you is real.

I'm not really suicidal but I'm in a LOT of internal pain and it gets worse the older I get.


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## crybaby97 (Jan 14, 2017)

I can really empathize with you. Ever since I can remember, I've felt like I simply haven't been able to connect with people. I'm sorry, hope it gets better.


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## Destormjanina1 (Jan 9, 2017)

I didn't always have the feeling of not being able to connect with people. This came about a couple years back after i dropped out of school and left the social scene. But ever since those few years of isolation I find myself not being able to connect with anybody the way I used to connect with old friends. It's frustrating and I wish I knew how to have meaningful conversations with people, but I don't. I have very few interests and they aren't things that other people are typically interested in. The more time goes on the lonelier it gets and the more detached I become. It's not healthy and no human being should isolate the way I have. I hope you find someone to connect with that stays in your life for a longer period of time.


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## Meditari (Mar 12, 2017)

I can relate a lot to this, there's been times when I briefly question whether anything is real because of this kind of situation. The thing is that I've also been on the other side of this situation, where I feel so overwhelmed by how much a person wants to interact with me that I distance myself. Making new friends is a little daunting for me, and I'm not really sure why some people stick and most others don't but life is full of disappointments, and I guess we have to deal with that a lot before we find something substantial. Maybe, for your own sake, don't get so emotionally caught up in a new friendship and simply let things play out naturally. If they decide to leave, just be happy for the good time that you had and don't ruminate on their absence too much.


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