# Ever get the feeling you make OTHER people nervous?



## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

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## sonya99 (Sep 5, 2005)

All the time. I try to tell myself it doesn't happen as often as I think it does and I try to remind myself that it's the other person's problem if they feel uncomfortable. I'm just never able to convince myself of it :|


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## Halcyon (Nov 24, 2003)

njodis said:


> So today I was in a long checkout lane and there was a woman about my age behind me. I don't really know what came over me, but I kind of tried to make small talk. Right away she seemed extremely embarrassed or something, I dunno. Her face kind of went red, wouldn't even look at me, whatever. Just seemed like I wasn't supposed to be talking to her or something.
> 
> I didn't think I was acting abnormally, but of course when I got that kind of response I immediately became ultra self conscious, thinking things like, "Wow, she must be embarrassed to be seen talking to someone like me." and crap like that. I shut up pretty quickly, because I could feel it going downhill (the good ole SA @#%$ started to kick in, but it wasn't entirely due to how she was acting.) I just turned back around and got the hell out of there as fast as possible.
> 
> ...


i feel like this at work

i notice when i'm around the other cooks don't seem to be as talkative or lively...i've come to work before and sat in the office and the same people i work with are singing and joking around really loudly and that rarely happens when i'm on shift...i don't think i'm exaggerating this but maybe...

I think it happens because i'm quiet and uncomfortable around these people...i'm too considerate and the other people seem to take notice to this so they become the same way and are a bit careful in how to approach me or what to say around me instead of letting whatever they want out of their mouths they hesistate...like the girl who usually swears said poop around me....POOP...i don't swear around people just because i'm weird like that but at home i can swear i think she noticed this and said POOP ....POOP!!!!!

my counselor was mentioning that if i don't say Hi some people might think of me as a snob or might believe they aren't good enough or something like that....which is strange because i feel exactly the same way around them.

I think i could ease that tension and make others comfortable but forcing myself to act out of my comfort zone i think i've tried it before and i come off a bit crazy and could make the situation more awkward


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## Halcyon (Nov 24, 2003)

also i made a post awhile back about being rude...rude in a good kind of way, i know lots of people joke around and poke fun at one another which i kind of have a hard time doing being the nervous wreck i am but poking fun and bugging another person in that rude but KIND way seems to ease tension as does telling a joke or whatever and so If i'm working in an environment where i don't do that at all I'm just really making others feel at edge all the time.....

ALSO i've found when i do let lose at times people seem to lose respect for me, so there's a balance there to be reached i could let lose but people might also be like okay seen enough thats goo...they are comfortable but you are no longer as important to be considerate around if that makes any sense.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

One of my old "friends"(ha, some friend) used to tell me I made him uncomfortable/nervous because I didn't talk much. :roll :wtf


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

This isn't the first time something like this has happened. I remember in one of my classes this guy sat beside me because I was wearing a concert t-shirt. He started talking about how he liked the band, and when I started replying in my awkward-*** way, he suddenly started acting odd, too. It was like he suddenly changed once he saw how I reacted and responded.

I think it must throw people for a loop when they expect someone to interact normally but they actually interact more like a psychopath. :lol


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## beatlegeuce (Jun 28, 2007)

I know i deffinally make people nervous when ive been around them for awhile and havent said anything then suddenly get brave and start to talk. They will get this " Omg you never talk" look on their face. This is why if you dont assert yourself as a talker in the begining, it will be too late to try later, or just make awakward situation.


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## davemason2k (Feb 11, 2005)

yup, this happens to me alot since I have trouble keeping eye contact for long periods. People get jittery once they see me avoiding eye contact.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

I know that my one word replies to friendly questions make it seem like I don't want to talk to the person, which is fine. I prefer to be the intimidating one.


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

I get that feeling sometimes.


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## Mads (May 8, 2006)

*Re: re: Ever get the feeling you make OTHER people nervous?*



beatlegeuce said:


> I know i deffinally make people nervous when ive been around them for awhile and havent said anything then suddenly get brave and start to talk. They will get this " Omg you never talk" look on their face. This is why if you dont assert yourself as a talker in the begining, it will be too late to try later, or just make awakward situation.


Exactly. People have actually told me, "I didn't know you could talk!" before. Nothing shuts me up faster, of course. I mean really, how are you supposed to respond to something like that?

But yes, I do often get the feeling that I make people uncomfortable with my awkwardness.


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## ehhh (Aug 2, 2007)

Yeah, it feels horrible when people react that way. It's ironic that people get nervous around people who are nervous.
:sigh


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## Aron James (Jun 16, 2007)

NONE of you make other people nervous at all.

Bold statement.

Anxiety breeds in the minds of everyone. You literally reflect anxiety like a mirror to other people, as they do to you and this causes others to feel the way they do. You are only a contributing factor to someone else freaking out or being nervous or whatever. The real demon is the mind of anxiety, which causes others to react this way.

The nasty side effect though is that you feel you have done something wrong like it was your SA which is functioning, it isnt, but you tell yourself this and so you blame yourself for other peoples nervousness?

The entire world is infected by anxiety in various degrees. When you see how true this is, your own anxiety minimalizes somewhat because it is no longer you all the time that is to blame, you feel closer to others.

Aron


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## Halcyon (Nov 24, 2003)

*Re: re: Ever get the feeling you make OTHER people nervous?*



Aron James said:


> NONE of you make other people nervous at all.
> 
> Bold statement.
> 
> Anxiety breeds in the minds of everyone. You literally reflect anxiety like a mirror to other people, as they do to you and this causes others to feel the way they do.


saying that just negated the first commend didn't it?

You're saying none of us making others nervous then you say we reflect anxiety onto other people which IS saying we make others nervous based on how we feel, since we have social anxiety we have a tendency to FEAR or be uncomfortable around other people thus transferring the way we feel onto these people?



> The entire world is infected by anxiety in various degrees. When you see how true this is, your own anxiety minimalizes somewhat because it is no longer you all the time that is to blame, you feel closer to others.
> Aron


i agree we're one of the same but feeling this way puts a great deal of pressure/expectation upon me that I can ease this other persons anxiety/fear and I don't know that just starts the cycle of anxiety/fear again


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## katelyn (Jul 11, 2006)

I've been told by people before that I make them feel nervous. One said "you have an effect on people that makes them stop talking". Others are just really quiet when I'm around. I get the impression they think I'm annoyed by loud people or something, or maybe that I'm too stuck-up to talk to them. And sometimes they must sense my neediness to have them like me, because some of the best friends I've had in my life I've made when I wasn't caring what they thought of me, whereas when I purposely try to make people like me they usually act really awkward around me as if they have a duty to be nice to the friendless girl but really they don't know what to do.


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## Aron James (Jun 16, 2007)

Halcyon

I am genuinely really happy you see this.

In this context we can reflect anxiety onto 'others' means: others that we normally see (the perceived people to whom we usually relate to, our subjective experience of the other person). For example, we feel anxious and we 'create' a world of anxiety, where everything seems gittery. It appears like everyone is affected by our anxiety but all they may perceive is someone who is anxious, we do not know what sort of mind they generate when we are in this state, perhaps a loving caring mind, we simply cannot tell. We do not some how give them anxiety because this is how we ourself feel like a contagious disease.

But saying this, our own anxious state can make others feel anxious, depending on what state of mind they are in, if their mind so perceives this. Just as we oursleves may feel anxious if we see somone shaking for example we infer they are anxious and may become anxious ourself when in fact they are just cold.

Anxiety from one person's mind cannot mix with the anxiety of anothers persons mind, if this were true, then most people around us would be a lot more anxious than they would be usually, would they not?

Speaking more specifically, NONE of us make other people nervous at all, we actually create them, a bit like how an angry person creates enemies of his or her own minds creation. It depends entirely upon the other persons mind if they get anxious or not, not our mind.

In short, we can reflect anxiety onto others so we create nervous people, this is maybe what we see, but this is not necessarily how they actually are.

I hope this is now clear, if not, i am happy to try again.

Aron

[/quote]


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Anxious fears can sometimes lead to self-fulfilling prophesies. If you're really afraid of making someone nervous, you might adopt safety behaviors, thinking they will prevent the negative result (someone you're around gets nervous). These behaviors though often aren't the best and can possibly be interpreted in a way that makes someone nervous. 

This is the thing I mean: 

Thought: I don't want to make this person nervous. I just won't talk and avoid eye contact so that he won't talk to me, which would make him nervous.
Person's Reaction: Why isn't this person saying hello or even looking at me. Geez, his ignoring me makes me nervous.

Furthermore, Aron James makes the great point that we can't literally "make" someone nervous. That is out of our hands.

Say we clucked like a chicken in a department store... Two other people are there. One person thinks you're insane and becomes very nervous while the other person laughs and enjoys the show. Two people. Two completely different reactions. 

I'd agree that certain actions on your part might lead to a higher PROBABILITY of nervous reactions from other people, but no actions (even clucking like a chicken) can be guaranteed to "make" someone nervous.


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## Redefine (Jan 11, 2005)

ardrum said:


> Anxious fears can sometimes lead to self-fulfilling prophesies. If you're really afraid of making someone nervous, you might adopt safety behaviors, thinking they will prevent the negative result (someone you're around gets nervous). These behaviors though often aren't the best and can possibly be interpreted in a way that makes someone nervous.
> 
> This is the thing I mean:
> 
> ...


Your right. It's the safety behaviors that really make the person nervous. The common way one reacts when they are nervous is to avoid eye contact, talk in mumbled low pitched voice and respond with short brief responses. This will make the other person feel like you don't care about what they are saying and you will come off as cold and awkward. Thus leading the person to feel insecure about themselves and nervous.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

I'm paranoid about eating in a restaurant on a date. So I was out with this guy and I was barely touching my food and I was probably looking really nervous, he actually told me I was making him nervous. I excused myself to the bathroom so I could take a break from the situation. I hated myself.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

*Re: re: Ever get the feeling you make OTHER people nervous?*



Strange Religion said:


> I'm paranoid about eating in a restaurant on a date. So I was out with this guy and I was barely touching my food and I was probably looking really nervous, he actually told me I was making him nervous. I excused myself to the bathroom so I could take a break from the situation. I hated myself.


Is it eating in front of your date, the other people in the restaurant, or both?


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Mainly the person I'm eating in front of, but others also add to it.


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## PlayerOffGames (Mar 19, 2007)

i think cuz of my SA people think im arrogant...but i dont look like i have the "right" to be arrogant...im not making anyone nervous...theyre just trying hard not to laugh :lol


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## wiley (Aug 5, 2007)

That sucks. It can really make you doubt yourself! But you don't know what was going through her mind. Maybe she was holding a big box of tampons and was embarrassed that you might see it. Maybe she passed gas? Maybe SHE had social anxiety disorder too, and she didn't know what to do? 

I've felt that way before, too - I'll respond to someone and their whole demeanor will change. I always feel like a freak show, and I try to analyze what was strange about what I said. That's a huge part of why I avoid people. I told my husband, I'm going to start telling people my parents locked me in my room until I was 16, and that's why I'm so weird.


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## embers (Dec 19, 2006)

I'm prob repeating other posts, didn't have a chance to read them but...

This is a total success. No matter the outcome. First of all, its not your responsibility how people react. Don't take that burden on. Second of all, let other things enter your mind so you don't think its just you. Like, she could have been shy, attracted to you, etc. Just let yourself think those things, you may not believe it, but over time you will. Another thing, if this isn't the reaction you wanted (its never a failure), just take what you can learn from it and try again.

One tip, when I started the spontaneous small talk, people hate being focused on, looked at directly for too long, and a lot of people will blush and feel uncomfy. Make it about something else, random, casual, like it doesn't really matter, look away and say something sideways. 

but good job anyways, let us know how much better it goes next time.


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

Heh, well, it went horribly, but I guess I tried. It's pretty tough for me. Baby steps. :b

But yeah, you're right, it could have possibly not been my fault. I find it hard not to blame myself for things that go badly, though. Anything that goes wrong, I find a way to blame myself for it. Gotta work on that.

I just felt pretty horrible. I hate bothering people, and she seemed genuinely uncomfortable with me talking to her.

Hmm. I sure hope she's not reading this. :lol :lol


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## Jocelyn (Aug 10, 2007)

While reading your post, my very first thought was, "Maybe the woman has social anxiety disorder and that's why she looked uncomfortable."

Stranger things have happened.


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## coldmorning (Jul 4, 2007)

Yeah, she's probably on this board now thinking about that sweet fellow who tried to talk to her and probably beating herself up as to why she couldn't just have a conversation with him.


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## wiley (Aug 5, 2007)

njodis, do you have a therapist? Maybe he/she could help you figure out how you come across. Maybe you could also tape yourself talking and watch it back? That could give you clues about how you act. I think non-shy people have perfected their "persona" - the way they act in front of people. We just need more help figuring out what to do.


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## LonelyEnigma (Jan 7, 2007)

Yes, I do get the feeling I make people nervous sometimes....However, it is not because of what I say but how I look. Despite my somewhat sensitive/softhearted disposition, my physical appearance seems to intimidate some people.

I'm a young black male and I live in a rather white community. Many people their are not use to seeing black people and believe the negative stereotypes portrayed by the media are true.

I also doesn't help that I have multiple tattoos from my rebellious teenage years and time I served in the Marine Corps. Lastly, I'm somewhat ripped so when it is hot out my veins pop-out quite a bit making me look even stronger than I am. I think all these factor sometimes lead others to think I'm aggressive or dangerous. I did have a short rebellious streak during my teen years, but my teen years are far behind me. People really don't have anything, at all, to be afraid of. 

My natural disposition has always been compassionate. I only temporarily rebelled against my innate shy, soft-heartedness as a teen because I wanted to fit in. Black men, apparently, are supposed to be tough, aggressive, outgoing, popular, and very experienced with women. Because of the community I lived in and my benign/shy/nerdy disposition, some people use to accuse me of not being "black" enough. Whatever that means :stu Black is a race, not a specific attitude/personality/income the media propagates. Believe it or not, many black men from my community (upper middle class, predominantly white) have also dealt with similar issues of identity.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

****, I think I just started to drool a little.


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## LonelyEnigma (Jan 7, 2007)

Me?? :eek ops :mushy


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

*Re: re: Ever get the feeling you make OTHER people nervous?*



LonelyEnigma said:


> I also doesn't help that I have multiple tattoos from my rebellious teenage years and time I served in the Marine Corps. Lastly, I'm somewhat ripped so when it is hot out my veins pop-out quite a bit making me look even stronger than I am. I think all these factor sometimes lead others to think I'm aggressive or dangerous. I did have a short rebellious streak during my teen years, but my teen years are far behind me. People really don't have anything, at all, to be afraid of.


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## LonelyEnigma (Jan 7, 2007)

:eek Ooh!, Thanks. :blush  :mushy 

:blush  You look quite attractive as well.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

Think what you will


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## LonelyEnigma (Jan 7, 2007)

LostInReverie said:


> Think what you will


 :con :con


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Yes, especially people closest around me. Not family, though.


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## Pinzelhead (Mar 14, 2007)

Happened to me plenty of times. Some people just seem to become ashamed to be friendly with me. I think it's their own insecurities. I have seen people come and go in my workplace who NEVER speak a single word during lunch breaks yet NO ONE comments on it. These people seem far more secure than the idiots who become so insecure around shy and socially awkward people and can't help but disparage shyness and quietness. **** 'em all I say.


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## guitarmatt (Aug 13, 2009)

Aron James said:


> NONE of you make other people nervous at all.
> 
> Bold statement.
> 
> ...


hit the nail on the head. Just like positive emotions can be spread through people, so can negative emotions. While people can pretend that its all in their heads, that would be ignoring reality. Its certainly possible that anxious people can make others nervous. Its just not good to feel guilty about it.


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## Walker (Jun 22, 2011)

Aron James said:


> NONE of you make other people nervous at all.
> 
> Bold statement.
> 
> ...


Bang on! I feel exactly the same way about this and couldn't have put it better. A lot of those people who we sense getting nervous have an extent of SAD themselves and may not even be aware of their condition yet.

When I started to deeply analyse my SAD and how to overcome it, all my workings came to one logical conclusion and answer... drumroll... 'to not give a ****'!

Much harder than it sounds, but having worked at it for over a year I have improved dramatically. When I feel someone freaking out in my presence I just chose to ignore it (really not easy) but I now sense people starting to feel more comfortable around me and similarly it helps me too. A mirror relationship just like you explained.


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## Mike555 (Nov 26, 2012)

Yes I make people nervous as hell and i'm now nervous as hell too....... and anxious.. it feels like I'm shocked.. like paraliyed.. my mind is like high and i don't know what to do.. that's how it feels like. i transfered this feeling to other people and they became the same.. i made people go nuts sometimes.. even my best friend online goes nuts sometimes because of me but he doesn't know i'm the one who causes him to be nervous. i'm extremely in-secure. and i don't know what to do, how to decide, i don't want to make people sad or angry so i try to be polite and i'm not even sure my self where to go, where to play where my multiple friends invite me.. idk what to decide so my friend becomes super nervous because the way i talk and i don't know in which room to play and the other person becomes angry that i don't join room so i became crazy after that.. then my friend also.. because i keep being polite becoz i don't want to anger the person....... hell i feel my brain is like shocked, like i'm dead.

once in the job, a guy from there looked at me.. i had chips in my hands.. and i said.. want ? i stared at him, he stared at me awkwardly.. he nodded "no".. then when we worked together.. we had to.. it was extremely awkward.. i was nervous as hell.. he became nervous too i think and that day he went completely nuts.. he started screaming.. this guy btw was sick mentally as well.. not social anxiety but other mental problems.. and he really couldn't handle it.. now thanks god i'm not there anymore..

i effect people at my place right now as well, i depress the boss over there even lol.
They are aware of my problem. i did tell them i have social anxiety, i think he doesn't even know what it is.. now because of that, they try to act more nicely with me and be more easy with me.. i also have ADHD, there are many times i don't understand somethings...... so i keep asking.. i have no idea how to communicate so i ask ice cold stupid questions non-stop if i have a question and it feels that i ask too much and they became upset the way i talk.. coz i suck at it.. and i'm extremely anxious and socially awkward.. so usually the bosses scream at other people .. normal communication (they let everything out).. but when i come.. they don't scream at me, even though they want to, so because they stuff everything inside them selves, they became depressed, i remember they were happy before, but after became sad.. their voice even became weird.. like they're holding something inside them, like their throat became tight and i had it too.... omg! horrible!

btw sorry.. it's not the job........ it's the army and i must to serve there.. i did tell the psycholog i have s.a.. i did and they know........ still they took me in.......... and i can't GO OUT OF THE ARMY! I CAN'T BECAUSE MY dad told me he'll kick me out of the house coz i need to bring MONEY! PFF BUT I HAVE PROBLEMS. Idk what to do! i can't even work becoz i effect other people.


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## Galileo (Sep 5, 2014)

Apparently i don't even have to talk to people to do that.

I don't act like a normal disabled person, so people just don't get me and don't know how to deal with me because I tend to throw a lot back in their faces. I can be rude, and I do not apologise for being so. I don't thank people who try to help me, because I never asked them to, they just assume that I will be all submissive and grateful.
So when I am not, and when I tell them that touching a person without permition should be illegal they tend to back off pretty quickly.

I have a general almost physical disdain for real life strangers that seems to radiate from me, and I don't try to stop it, because it is what keeps the majority of people away from me and therefore means I stay calm.


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## Bool (Sep 6, 2014)

Considering how reluctant I am to talk offline, I probably do make people nervous sometimes. I can't imagine it's very comfortable to have someone who doesn't want to say more than a few words to you.


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## justin25 (Sep 7, 2014)

I get this a lot at work. Everytime my boss sees me he'll start acting crazy and stupid to try and get me to talk but it just gets very awkward. I know he gets uncomfortable but I just dont know what to say to him.


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## spititout (Sep 7, 2014)

lol omg ppl are always cratching their eyebrow or back of their head when talking to me


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## Apathie (Dec 21, 2013)

Pretty sure i do, often. Not my problem though. I'm not responsible for other people's emotions.


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## sleepingcat (Sep 7, 2014)

yea i feel that everyone seems to be uncomfortable when im around too, which makes me feel unwelcomed... i dont know why they have to feel uncomfortable though


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## Jakeawake (Jun 18, 2015)

*Eber get the feeling you make other people feel nervous?*

All the time. What bothers me the most is that I'm a good looking
man. (From what others keep telling me over the years)
I dress well, I'm in great shape and I'm 40! Why the hell would
people act nervous around me? I get this with woman a lot.
At times, I may get on the tube and the lady holds her bag tighter!
I really hate seeing this over and over again. Is it my square jaw?
I thought that is what made me handsome? Do I give off a bad vibe?
I just don't get it. I've even been dressed as a prep and this has
still happened. My other half has seen it happen also. :surprise:
Maybe my deep hidden anxiety has so much power people
can feel it.


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

Good. If I'm suffering, they have to suffer, too.

Just kidding. I'm not that evil.


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## NE2 (May 5, 2015)

This is my worst problem. I can make a fool of myself but I don't feel like I can inconvenience others.


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## myNameIsFenix (Apr 4, 2017)

Hello everyone, 

Lately, people get red around me, and very uncomfortable, and I just feel like I'm crazy because of that, and I try to understand why is that happening, why are they turning red when i talk to them.. I do notice that my heart is beating faster when I want to tell a joke or something funny, mayb it has to do something with that... Is there someone who has the same problem like I do?


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## shana (Mar 9, 2009)

Yes, when I'm on certain medications. When I took certain antipsychotics, like Abilify and Vraylar, I think people around me didn't want to be around me when I was dealing with the side effects of it. I felt bad on these drugs, and they made me more much anxious. 
It's not just psych meds that make me super nervous. Recently I took 25 mcg of levothroxyzine for a hypothyroid, and it also made me more anxious and I felt like people got anxious around me. I had to stop it.


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## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

I know that I do. Someone on here told me to let them be nervous though. I guess that's fair.


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## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

I walk around with a black hoodie in the summer time and i feel insecure when i leave my arms out so i keep my hands in my pockets. So i probably do make people nervous lol.


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## primalrose (Sep 28, 2010)

Yes, I know how you feel. It's also not that I think I do, I know I do. The same pattern has happened so many times in social situations I know now my anxiety being mirrored onto them is the usually the problem. It does make it doubly hard to try to interact with people. Because you know you need exposure to get better, but when people start to feel anxious around me due to my body language it messes my head up again. Then you wonder to yourself "OK this person clearly doesn't know what to say to me, how can I make them feel more comfortable? But I'm feeling sick with anxiety, I don't even feel comfortable." Then I sometimes get secretly upset when I observe the same person acts so comfortable and happy around other people and not me. I know, its a little messed up.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

I make lots of people nervous. Because I look and act like a weirdo. Though I have to say, it's nice not having to worry about salespeople bugging you when you're out shopping.


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## Rains (Jan 20, 2016)

Some really odd psychoanalytic mumbo jumbo posts from 2007. Oh well... yes I do. In my case it's most likely due to emotional contagion. It happens mainly with people who are sensitive and empathic or else are prone to anxiety themselves; they easily pick up on my anxiety and start getting flustered too. It's very annoying because it's hard to manage my anxiety when someone else is being affected so much by it. It effectively doubles the problem. I've wondered why some people with SA seem to 'infect' others with their anxiety while others with SA don't so much. I guess it's something to do with how intimidating you are because I think I might be somewhat intimidating (and how intimidating you are probably depends mainly on non-verbal cues). I'm still in the midst of trying to figure this all out though.


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## melancholyscorpio (Aug 14, 2015)

Yep I do and sometimes I don't know why.

I'm not that awkward. I know I can be awkward sometimes but I can socialise normally (or so I think).

I guess it is because I'm too quiet and keep to myself.

It's really disconcerting when extremely social people are awkward around me. For eg. this co-worker is extremely social but sometimes she's awkward around me and it makes feel uncomfortable because I don't feel uncomfortable. I just go about my business.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RickSanchez (Jun 5, 2017)

*Balance*



Halcyon said:


> also i made a post awhile back about being rude...rude in a good kind of way, i know lots of people joke around and poke fun at one another which i kind of have a hard time doing being the nervous wreck i am but poking fun and bugging another person in that rude but KIND way seems to ease tension as does telling a joke or whatever and so If i'm working in an environment where i don't do that at all I'm just really making others feel at edge all the time.....
> 
> ALSO i've found when i do let lose at times people seem to lose respect for me, so there's a balance there to be reached i could let lose but people might also be like okay seen enough thats goo...they are comfortable but you are no longer as important to be considerate around if that makes any sense.


I think Halcyon is spot on and although I kind of know this sometimes my prudish and snobby side gets in the way, but I think it's true that you can be a little "rude" to break the ice in social situations. It's all about not taking it too far, which really annoys me when I see others act like this...


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