# How to start dating past age 25?



## cckmp (Feb 6, 2016)

I have never been on a date in my life and I finally reached a point where I would feel comfortable enough with myself to try and have an intimate and honest relationship. I have no clue where to start. The obvious choice is online dating. My concern is that I cannot be truthful about my past relationship experience. Having never had a relationship I think it would scare most women away immediately. 

Also I don't have many pictures of me hanging out with friends so I would not know what kind of profile pictures to upload. I cannot even force a smile because I am not exactly altogether happy, although I have made small strides forward in my life. Any advice and or personal stories would be much appreciated.


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

Probably too late. I've been trying and been on a few dates, but by now, after all these years of not developing my dating/social skills, it's not possible. I don't think dating or happiness is possible at this age if you haven't already been successful in dating by now. Try it, but, my advice is give up and find something else that doesn't involve women to make you happy.


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## cckmp (Feb 6, 2016)

Wings of Amnesty said:


> Probably too late. I've been trying and been on a few dates, but by now, after all these years of not developing my dating/social skills, it's not possible. I don't think dating or happiness is possible at this age if you haven't already been successful in dating by now. Try it, but, my advice is give up and find something else that doesn't involve women to make you happy.


Oh. It sucks to hear but I guess it's the truth and you have had more experience in that area of life than I have. To be clear I am not talking about dating in the conventional sense, like some guy who gets lots of women and jumps from relationship to relationship if he is not altogether satisfied with how its going or something. I was hoping it is still possible to form a meaningful relationship at this stage in life, but I guess you might be right. Not having a family and not having anyone to love will leave most people depressed. It messed me up badly. I am not sure if happiness is possible without another person to love but your advice is sound and at this age I too share your perspective about it being too late. Thanks for the rational response bud, at the same time I still have some irrational hope; I might just take that hope to the grave with me when I am a lonely senior citizen struggling with cancer.


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## The Library of Emma (Mar 3, 2016)

Almost nothing's impossible, especially not this (let's feed that irrational hope, shall we?)

As far as not smiling for your profile pic, that's okay, but a "pleasant" expression is important. Hopefully, the woman of your dreams will come across this picture, and if she does, what expression would you want her to receive?

best of luck


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## Rex87 (Jan 5, 2015)

I was 26 when I started dating and yeah it was online dating. And I was on there for years.... with no dates or anything, mostly because I didn't know how to seal the deal so to speak, you know get her off that damn site! I didn't know wtf I was doing! Terrible with women, terrible on online dating, yeah it just wasn't good. But once you date a couple women from there... you get it! That's how it worked for me at least. 

The advice I can give for a male(I gave this advice many times already on here. People don't listen. Can't fault anyone for that though. When it comes to dating and finding your partner...you kinda find out on your own what works for you) when online dating, first off message a lot different women. Be patient. Short n sweet messages at first, you really shouldn't do long messages until she does. Get her number after a while, could be an hour or so, could be a couple hours, could be a couple days. You will know, it is all about connection and opening up to one another.

Once you get her off the site, many would advise to meet asap! I don't, and there is nothing wrong with meeting right away but it works for some and not others. Me, it doesn't work meeting asap. Once you are talking and texting all day for over a week or two(or longer, I took as long as nearly 3 mos to meet), that's when you should meet. This usually cuts a good bit of the awkwardness, shyness, etc. You are both a good bit into to each other by then so the chances of flaking and a second date are usually higher than meeting right away.

Those are some tips I have. Oh and I didn't tell my previous non experience and little experience to the first couple women I dated, the subject of previous relationships did come up but yeah that was a one way street. And as for pics...just put your best up, don't have to be hanging with friends or anything like that.


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## cckmp (Feb 6, 2016)

Rex87 said:


> I was 26 when I started dating and yeah it was online dating. And I was on there for years.... with no dates or anything, mostly because I didn't know how to seal the deal so to speak, you know get her off that damn site! I didn't know wtf I was doing! Terrible with women, terrible on online dating, yeah it just wasn't good. But once you date a couple women from there... you get it! That's how it worked for me at least.
> 
> The advice I can give for a male(I gave this advice many times already on here. People don't listen. Can't fault anyone for that though. When it comes to dating and finding your partner...you kinda find out on your own what works for you) when online dating, first off message a lot different women. Be patient. Short n sweet messages at first, you really shouldn't do long messages until she does. Get her number after a while, could be an hour or so, could be a couple hours, could be a couple days. You will know, it is all about connection and opening up to one another.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the tips. Everything you wrote is helpful.


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## RenegadeReloaded (Mar 12, 2011)

I met all of my girlfriends online. But not on dating sites. I met them on chat.


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## warhaiku (Apr 12, 2016)

What chat did you use?


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## Morpheus (May 26, 2006)

This is a good question, cckmp. I am in the same boat.


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

Wings of Amnesty said:


> Probably too late. I've been trying and been on a few dates, but by now, after all these years of not developing my dating/social skills, it's not possible. I don't think dating or happiness is possible at this age if you haven't already been successful in dating by now. Try it, but, my advice is give up and find something else that doesn't involve women to make you happy.


This, definitely. Nothing but World of Warcraft and masturbation for the rest of your life. 25 is the new 80.


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

path0gen said:


> This, definitely. Nothing but World of Warcraft and masturbation for the rest of your life. 25 is the new 80.


Your social skills and ability to actually communicate with people develops when you're a child and into your teens and early twenties. You're really not going to learn these skills if you haven't by now, it's too late, your brain isn't still in that phase where it can learn those things.


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## PaperLeaf (Jul 9, 2016)

cckmp said:


> My concern is that I cannot be truthful about my past relationship experience. Having never had a relationship I think it would scare most women away immediately.


You don't have to mention it in your profile 



cckmp said:


> Also I don't have many pictures of me hanging out with friends so I would not know what kind of profile pictures to upload. I cannot even force a smile because I am not exactly altogether happy, although I have made small strides forward in my life. Any advice and or personal stories would be much appreciated.


Online dating can work  I would say that the odds of getting into a nice serious relationship through online dating for any person are at least 10% higher than what chance they would have IRL - this being due to the bigger pool of candidates that are available and "reach-able" online. That being said, this doesn't mean that it's all easy; the "game" still has to be played.

Make sure you have a nice profile to begin with 

For pictures, go to a nearby park or something (or on the porch, in the alley, etc. anywhere outside, you get the _picture_ 0) on a quiet day (i.e. when no one is around or very few people), and use the timer on your phone/camera to take outdoorsy pictures of yourself. You can do that indoors too, at work, just anywhere with a decent setting.

And a smile, just like anything else in life, just gets better with practice 

Good luck!


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## PaperLeaf (Jul 9, 2016)

cckmp said:


> I was hoping it is still possible to form a meaningful relationship at this stage in life


25 is young, actually. It's just the beginning. Trust me, there's a lot that can be done from then on.


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## PaperLeaf (Jul 9, 2016)

cckmp said:


> My concern is that I cannot be truthful about my past relationship experience. Having never had a relationship I think it would scare most women away immediately.


Oh, you mean telling a woman face to face. I misunderstood, my bad.

Well let's reverse it, would you mind being with a 25-y-o woman who has never had a relationship? I'm pretty sure there are women who will not mind the "lack of experience" in a guy, as long as he is decent and has a good attitude. And this, regardless of her own dating experience or lack thereof.

If asked why you've never been in a relationship, you can just say that you've always been kind of a loner, or an independent person if you prefer, and that you've just never focused on dating, and that now you feel like you'd like to find a nice person to be with and share your life with


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## cckmp (Feb 6, 2016)

PaperLeaf said:


> 25 is young, actually. It's just the beginning. Trust me, there's a lot that can be done from then on.


I sure hope so. I'm actually well passed 25 I just tried to generalize the question so it applies to other people too. I didn't think that I would still have to play the "game" though but so be it. Thanks for all your advice.


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## cckmp (Feb 6, 2016)

path0gen said:


> This, definitely. Nothing but World of Warcraft and masturbation for the rest of your life. 25 is the new 80.


New 80? Well then I'm 89.6 years old then by that ratio. Warcraft yuck.


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## TonyH (Mar 8, 2015)

WOW! Thanks for you honesty and sincerity. I realised that sounded sarcasitic but legit I love how open you are about it. There's a good start. Being upfront about it is the first step. Just talk with females and decide who you get on with. Eventually, you'll disclose more personal stuff (like this) and they'll accept you no matter what if you have a bond and stuff. Good luck mate. Oh and try developing better communication skills, body language, coping skills and demeanour. Girls often love dkhead guys you know why? Because they tick all the boxes - communicate well, easy going and make them laugh. They could say they are an axe murdering maniac and the girl would most likely laugh and think he was joking as this wonderful hunk of a man could never be. Well then, I want him tonight they ponder. Anyway, dude good luck. If insecurities and anxieties are causing too much trouble, try meds.

Your focus determines your reality. Look for the good you will see it
Look for the bad and you life will become hell xD
Good luck!

Hope I didn't offend anyone hahaha. But legit my advice is sound, work on those skills and you'll get better


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## TonyH (Mar 8, 2015)

If all else fails, there's always buying your way for some action if you know what I mean . HAHAHA XD


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## Shadow5 (Jul 12, 2016)

It's not a big deal. You may need to date a couple of girls to get better at dating, but you'll succeed eventually. I already dated a guy who was older than you and who never had a girlfriend before. I was surprised when he told me, because there wasn't any obvious sign that he had no experience with girls. I did not mind, but I was curious and asked why he had never tried before, so you should be prepared to offer an earnest answer. I suggest that you wait a few dates before telling the girl, but make sure you actually tell her before anything physical happen, that way you'll be sure she won't judge you if you are clumsy


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

at that age youre gonna have to settle with someone with loose vagina.... Good Luck.


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## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

It's definitely possible and don't listen to the naysayers. As was mentioned, keep in mind that many women out there have had issues of their own - maybe not the same thing, but just remember they aren't perfect.

Just go for it. I wouldn't worry too much about whether or not to bring up the past. Some might care - and if so, you simply move on. Others might not. The main thing is to keep trying.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

1.) Learn enough social skills to make male friends
2.) Make female friends but not to date. This allows you to see women as human beings and not sex objects or, even worse, goddesses on pedestals
3.) Learn pickup artistry. Just don't listen to the fedora-wearing negging rape apologists. Go out with guys at least twice a week to practice approaching and flirting with strangers until it becomes fun for both you and the woman. In the beginning, it will be awkward. Yorkdale, Eaton Centre, Bloor St., and Yonge St. are perfect for daygame, Richmond St. for night game.


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## pancakeface666 (Aug 19, 2014)

M0rbid said:


> at that age youre gonna have to settle with someone with loose vagina.... Good Luck.


True, like ****ing a Predator's mouth huehuehue .

Sent from my XT1068 using Tapatalk


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## Kakumbus (Mar 27, 2012)

Have a life and dont be miserable, act like you are happy and successful, thats the best advice I can give you.


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## Findedeux (Mar 16, 2012)

Definitely agree with point 1 & 2.

Not quite so much with 3 but it is a good idea to practice initiating/flirting with women since guys are stuck with doing everything re initiating a relationship.



vicente said:


> 1.) Learn enough social skills to make male friends
> 2.) Make female friends but not to date. This allows you to see women as human beings and not sex objects or, even worse, goddesses on pedestals
> 3.) Learn pickup artistry. Just don't listen to the fedora-wearing negging rape apologists. Go out with guys at least twice a week to practice approaching and flirting with strangers until it becomes fun for both you and the woman. In the beginning, it will be awkward. Yorkdale, Eaton Centre, Bloor St., and Yonge St. are perfect for daygame, Richmond St. for night game.


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## warhaiku (Apr 12, 2016)

vicente said:


> 1.) Learn enough social skills to make male friends
> 2.) Make female friends but not to date. This allows you to see women as human beings and not sex objects or, even worse, goddesses on pedestals
> 3.) Learn pickup artistry. Just don't listen to the fedora-wearing negging rape apologists. Go out with guys at least twice a week to practice approaching and flirting with strangers until it becomes fun for both you and the woman. In the beginning, it will be awkward. Yorkdale, Eaton Centre, Bloor St., and Yonge St. are perfect for daygame, Richmond St. for night game.


Assuming you were once from or in Toronto. Is it me, or is it a hard city to meet girls in? Probably just me since I'm pretty lousy at it.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

At the time I lived in Toronto my social anxiety was so bad there was no way I would be going out to meet women. Or even hitting on women at group events. Completely out of the question.

So I don't know.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

I was 28 until my first actual relationship so don't give up, it's very possible. A lot seem to disagree with internet dating but if it wasn't for internet dating I would be single.


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## railcar82594 (Mar 1, 2016)

maybe this can help. from the "other" perspective about what not to do.
http://www.thefemininewoman.com/2012/11/5-signs-he-is-not-an-alpha-male/

All you guys not yet 30. I sincerely think you still have a chance. After 30-35 then it's pretty much over. So I highly suggest to keep trying until then.

As for me, I'm way older. The only way I'll have a s/o is getting rich and then having to settle for a 40+ divorcee with kids as a beta cuck. No way I can go for < 35 at this point not to mention any degree of attractiveness. So it really is too late for me, not for you.


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## cckmp (Feb 6, 2016)

AussiePea said:


> I was 28 until my first actual relationship so don't give up, it's very possible. A lot seem to disagree with internet dating but if it wasn't for internet dating I would be single.


That's encouraging to hear bud, thanks for sharing. Hopefully it works out. What website did you use? I am using POF but from reviews I read it may not be the best choice. Still women on it seem fairly responsive so it is nowhere near as bad as the reviews claim. I have no idea what I am doing though. Soon I will have to go on an actual date and see for myself.


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## cckmp (Feb 6, 2016)

railcar82594 said:


> maybe this can help. from the "other" perspective about what not to do.
> http://www.thefemininewoman.com/2012/11/5-signs-he-is-not-an-alpha-male/
> 
> All you guys not yet 30. I sincerely think you still have a chance. After 30-35 then it's pretty much over. So I highly suggest to keep trying until then.
> ...


I don't think its over. I know two 40+ men who met women at that age and got married. Now they are in their 50's. They both have kids. One of them met a woman in her late 20's the other one was in her early 30's. Neither one was rich and one traveled to Asia to meet his future wife, after talking to her online.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

cckmp said:


> That's encouraging to hear bud, thanks for sharing. Hopefully it works out. What website did you use? I am using POF but from reviews I read it may not be the best choice. Still women on it seem fairly responsive so it is nowhere near as bad as the reviews claim. I have no idea what I am doing though. Soon I will have to go on an actual date and see for myself.


I had FAR more success with paid sites such as Eharmony because the woman there take it seriously and I found there was a lot less BS involved with the whole process. Their matchmaking was also quite good and I found that the woman I went on dates with were usually quite compatible.

The problem with free sites is that there's far less incentive for people to take it seriously.


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## cckmp (Feb 6, 2016)

AussiePea said:


> I had FAR more success with paid sites such as Eharmony because the woman there take it seriously and I found there was a lot less BS involved with the whole process. Their matchmaking was also quite good and I found that the woman I went on dates with were usually quite compatible.
> 
> The problem with free sites is that there's far less incentive for people to take it seriously.


Thank you for the prompt response! I thought so, common sense really, but I still had to ask. It's good to hear your advice before I dish out money lol. I am very selective about which women I message and don't really send many a day like people say you are supposed to; "numbers game" etc. etc. I just can't do it if I don't think I have anything in common.

For now I met at least one woman on there who seems genuine, so I'm gonna try to see if I can turn it into something. By now I am sure she realized that I am not very experienced at this online dating thing. Turning it into an actual date and then going on a date with her will still be another few hurdles.


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## Shadow5 (Jul 12, 2016)

I am not sure you have to pay a lot to meet serious people, but I agree that POF might not the best place: I used it only for a couple of days before trolls started trolling me around. I had better success with OkCupid, the site is more pleasant to use in general, and the people I talked to were more polite. You can try the free suscription or pay for some useful things (such as advanced search, and you get to know who liked your profile which is useful to target people who are at least slightly interested). I did not try eharmony. Stay away from Tinder. 

It is fine not to send tons of message to women, just make sure to manage your expectations: I found that talking for too long/ too much / in depth with someone online can lead to disapointing results when you meet for real (some people try harder to please you online to get a date than being their true self).


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## Brandeezy (Dec 23, 2009)

I'm in the same boat and i'll be 27 soon. I always found it difficult to make friends and as a result i've had only made one or two in my lifetime. Right now I currently have none and haven't any in a very long time. I've tried dating sites but with no luck. I'm not that attractive and my height seems like a problem. I doubt i will ever find an gf anytime soon, so i just focus on the things i like to do


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## railcar82594 (Mar 1, 2016)

cckmp said:


> I don't think its over. I know two 40+ men who met women at that age and got married. Now they are in their 50's. They both have kids. One of them met a woman in her late 20's the other one was in her early 30's. Neither one was rich and one traveled to Asia to meet his future wife, after talking to her online.


Somehow I think your friends were not really poor and SA screwups ike many older > 25 hard cases on this forum. i.e. never had success before 40, so why should things be different unless they had some previous successful social and career history. In any case Ill wait if I get rich to try again.


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## cckmp (Feb 6, 2016)

railcar82594 said:


> Somehow I think your friends were not really poor and SA screwups ike many older > 25 hard cases on this forum. i.e. never had success before 40, so why should things be different unless they had some previous successful social and career history. In any case Ill wait if I get rich to try again.


You are right they were not screw ups. I don't know, maybe attraction still happens between 40+ screw ups, maybe not.

I also focus on bettering other areas of my life like financial circumstances, then I think what's the point? It is why I am now focusing on what actually needs work; forming meaningful relationships. I might fail.


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## JaegerLover217 (Feb 23, 2016)

AussiePea said:


> I was 28 until my first actual relationship so don't give up, it's very possible. A lot seem to disagree with internet dating but if it wasn't for internet dating I would be single.


even in online dating, guys, men are still expected to send the first message, which is something i never liked


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## JaegerLover217 (Feb 23, 2016)

and it's extremely difficult to be confident and have high self-esteem if you have never had a girlfriend before, ifi had an ex-girlfriend, then i feel very likely i would be better accepting of the gender role that guys are expected to initiate


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## foxie911 (Aug 10, 2016)

I'd advice not to mention the fact that you've never have had a gf. It will just raise eyebrows and make women think that there is something seriously wrong with you. You can just say , you haven't had a lot of relationships or something like that. ( but even that will make someone ask you how many have you had ? ) lol

Anyways just upload few photos of yourself , from waist up or whole body. 


Honestly, if you are nice to people and greet everyone you see at your local gas station , grocery store, church , etc.. you might even find a connection in real life...

Just try to smile at women ... be confident .

:mum

Other than that I don't know what to say , as a woman I found that you will find someone when you are not really looking for it. I know it sounds cliche but it works for women I guess.

Ok I'm running out of inspiration for tonight.

Good luck


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## JaegerLover217 (Feb 23, 2016)

foxie911 said:


> I'd advice not to mention the fact that you've never have had a gf. It will just raise eyebrows and make women think that there is something seriously wrong with you. You can just say , you haven't had a lot of relationships or something like that. ( but even that will make someone ask you how many have you had ? ) lol
> 
> Anyways just upload few photos of yourself , from waist up or whole body.
> 
> ...


ya i feel tempted to lie as well


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## cckmp (Feb 6, 2016)

foxie911 said:


> I'd advice not to mention the fact that you've never have had a gf. It will just raise eyebrows and make women think that there is something seriously wrong with you. You can just say , you haven't had a lot of relationships or something like that. ( but even that will make someone ask you how many have you had ? ) lol
> 
> Anyways just upload few photos of yourself , from waist up or whole body.
> 
> ...


Well thanks for the inspiration! Yes when I was younger I would always find someone when I wasn't looking. Unfortunately I failed to turn it into anything positive so here I am.

You are right it does scare women away. I went on a date with a woman and it was kind of awkward, but we had a few moments where we connected. My first ever date, Hurray! In the end we agreed to see each other again.

Then online I revealed a little too much about myself and I got the impression that she was suddenly trying to end contact fast. Due to her politeness it's still somewhat hard to tell at this point, but now I doubt she will want to meet again after I revealed my past. Truthfully online is probably not the right place to tell someone.

I have a date with another woman coming up and I have a feeling that I will be very nervous. She seems way more mature and intelligent than I am. Out of my league so to speak.


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## Flutterlee (Aug 11, 2016)

I just don't agree at all that its too late. I just don't. You're only 25. There are no rules as to when people should date and when they should meet their soulmate. Everyone has their own experiences, and meet people at different times. You could always try speed dating, where you like meet all sorts of women and talk to each one for just a few women. Maybe that would bee a bit difficult for you? not sure how bad your SA is. With online dating, I think you just need to really get to know someone pretty well before you bot can agree to meet. And when you meet, you'll kind of already know each other. Or just going out and doing something that you enjoy doing. And find someone who is there who shares that common interest is another suggestion. I hope this helps. I really do wish you well. Seriously it's not too late. We can always improve ourselves for the better. It may take some time, but its' possible. Trying to improve myself, trying to push myself to be the person I want to be.


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## SwtSurrender (Nov 24, 2014)

Ah, yes, well if you find an understanding woman, then your history of no dating experiences will most likely be understanding to her and she'll feel very proud to be your first, oh I know I would. Now you say you want to put up pictures of you with friends? Why on earth? My pictures that I upload are only of me, my face. Although, I have come across several profiles with guys that had pictures of themselves with friends both males and females and it made me feel rather uneasy. There's nothing wrong with just pictures of yourself, stand up for yourself, be proud to be an individual.


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## SwtSurrender (Nov 24, 2014)

cckmp said:


> Oh. It sucks to hear but I guess it's the truth and you have had more experience in that area of life than I have. To be clear I am not talking about dating in the conventional sense, like some guy who gets lots of women and jumps from relationship to relationship if he is not altogether satisfied with how its going or something. *I was hoping it is still possible to form a meaningful relationship at this stage in life*, but I guess you might be right. Not having a family and not having anyone to love will leave most people depressed. It messed me up badly. I am not sure if happiness is possible without another person to love but your advice is sound and at this age I too share your perspective about it being too late. Thanks for the rational response bud, at the same time I still have some irrational hope; I might just take that hope to the grave with me when I am a lonely senior citizen struggling with cancer.


Yeah, you can still form a meaningful relationship at 25 years old. In my opinion, the older the better you are at holding meaningful relationships, the dating scene as I see it is mostly for young teenagers jumping from place to place undecided/confused.


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