# Guys: Do girls pay attention to you?



## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

I don't get it. I would consider myself to be a decent looking guy. I'd say I'm about a 7 (maybe 7.5 on a good day). But yet women don't ever notice me. I can be out and about shopping, or wherever, and never do I see girls give me a second look. At work, there are girls everywhere that are my age. In the 1 year that I've been working there, not one has gone out of her way to actually talk to me. The one girl I showed interest to avoided me and rejected me when I asked her out.

I thought perhaps I was over estimating my appearance. So, I put a few pictures up on various rating sites. Regular pics of me yielded ratings in the 7 range. My shirtless pic consistantly got 8.5-9.5. I would think if I really was a 7, I would at least get something from women in real life, but no. I can probably count on one hand the number of times a girl has shown the slightest bit of interest in me.

I'm curious to hear about other guys experiences on this issue.


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## Lateralus (Oct 28, 2007)

It could be a couple things. First is you want to look confident and friendly. If you are depressed or angry, even if you're just sitting at your desk or getting groceries people can kind of pick up on it. Try smiling at a girl next time and odds are you will see her look at you again. The other thing is it really helps to dress well and look clean. When I find myself looking at girls sometimes they aren't even above average, but a warm friendly face, nice clothes, shiny hair, etc. can keep me looking. Try something like a new bolder hairstyle or new clothes to boost your confidence and girls will pick up on it. Well that's just my opinion, you really should ask the girls on this forum lol.


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## gooden222 (Oct 26, 2006)

yep they do, i try not to take it for granted but it's annoying when the same girIs that didn't Iike me in middIe because i was shy/nice/feminine, Iike me now with a more vain personaIity. It's because i changed from the nice quiet guy to the guy with a tougher image but im stiII quiet

It doesn't matter if ur quiet, just act more manIy/ vain,and dress tough guyish but cIean and with cIass.

keep repeating in ur mind : ''Im the man'', ''i am better then these fake guys'' ''I don't care what my voice is Iike''


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## Johnny1234 (Nov 16, 2006)

Maybe you have a bad sense of fashion. Some cloths can make a 10 look hedious, while clothes that fit you can make you a 10. Also, your hairstyle, tone of skin etc. All those things matter, so you have to take care of yourself.


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## Crushed Box (Oct 20, 2007)

They do, and probably more than I realize because on days when I'm feeling more confident and allow my eyes to meet those of girls I see in the hallways at work, I will often find them looking back, often even before I look at them they're already smiling at me. The hard part is I'm near-sighted so I have to wait until they are close enough to see what they look like  But it always makes my day to look over and meet the eyes of a girl who's smiling at me. I think a lot of little factors, factor into it like others have said. I have to dress up a little bit for work, and I think looking professional helps. I work mostly with women so I pick up what some of them say they like, and guys in business suits is a big one. Another thing some of them like, is a little bit of facial hair - a mustache or goatee (but no beards). A friend at work actually suggested that to me (some facial hair), but personally I don't think I'd be comfortable wearing a mustache or a goatee.


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

Never. Women avoid me like the plague. I've never seen anyone checking me out, never a smile or even the slightest hint of interest. I've been called ugly more than enough times in my life and I don't beleive anyone has ever said to my face I was attractive. I used to post pictures on hot or not and was usually rewarded with a low score. It doesn't bother me that much anymore, I've grown used to feeling unwanted.


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

Lonelyguy said:


> Never. Women avoid me like the plague. I've never seen anyone checking me out, never a smile or even the slightest hint of interest. I've been called ugly more than enough times in my life and I don't beleive anyone has ever said to my face I was attractive. I used to post pictures on hot or not and was usually rewarded with a low score. It doesn't bother me that much anymore, I've grown used to feeling unwanted.


(((((((((((((((Dave))))))))))))))) You come across as the sweetest guy on the planet and why someone hasnt snatched you up already is beyond me...you seem to possess the qualities women really want in a man, as I have read many of your posts on various subjects.....while I have never caught your pics (they have disappeared before I got to them) I have heard many others say that you are a handsome gentleman....you hang in there....Any girl would be lucky to have a guy like you....


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## Becky (Nov 5, 2003)

Penny said:


> Lonelyguy said:
> 
> 
> > Never. Women avoid me like the plague. I've never seen anyone checking me out, never a smile or even the slightest hint of interest. I've been called ugly more than enough times in my life and I don't beleive anyone has ever said to my face I was attractive. I used to post pictures on hot or not and was usually rewarded with a low score. It doesn't bother me that much anymore, I've grown used to feeling unwanted.
> ...


Penny's right, you're a sweetheart and I've seen your pics, you're not a bad looking guy at all.


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## HangNail (Sep 1, 2005)

yes, they do....but I never respond right. :sigh


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## demian1 (Dec 11, 2006)

Some do, some don't, some did. As I've gotten older and started being called "sir" by attractive young women, I get the sense that I may have passed my peak in appearance. Losing hair never has made me feel that attractive.

But Futures, when I had girls interested in me in the past, I was way too nervous and didn't know what to do, so I avoided the situation, or the interest was from females who I did not find very interesting or attractive.

I still have not given up hope!


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## Mr. SandMan (Aug 24, 2007)

i never really notice a girl giving me a second look...but i notice girls noticing me....i mean, i consider myself attractive when im not blushing, and its not like i blush all day....but i notice girls looking at me, i try not to even look back though cause it makes me feel uncomfertable, cause girls look at me who i really dont even like much, and if i like them a little, its really not that much of a reason for me to talk to them....ima talk to a girl if i actually like her, and the way she is.....i dont know though, i notice girls looking at me....but i never do nothin cause my hands and armpits sweat too much and it holds me back ...isnt it great.......


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## copper (Nov 10, 2003)

demian1 said:


> Some do, some don't, some did. As I've gotten older and started being called "sir" by attractive young women, I get the sense that I may have passed my peak in appearance. Losing hair never has made me feel that attractive.
> 
> But Futures, when I had girls interested in me in the past, I was way too nervous and didn't know what to do, so I avoided the situation, or the interest was from females who I did not find very interesting or attractive.
> 
> I still have not given up hope!


People started to call me sir just last year. Must be the snow that has developed on the roof. :lol


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## copper (Nov 10, 2003)

Lonelyguy said:


> Never. Women avoid me like the plague. I've never seen anyone checking me out, never a smile or even the slightest hint of interest. I've been called ugly more than enough times in my life and I don't beleive anyone has ever said to my face I was attractive. I used to post pictures on hot or not and was usually rewarded with a low score. It doesn't bother me that much anymore, I've grown used to feeling unwanted.


'

Maybe it is the type population that go to sites like hot or not. I have a feeling that many that do are very shallow individuals. They probably don't rate anyone good unless they look like a fashion model which the majority of the population doesn't look like that. They aren't worth your time. You don't want anyone like that anyways. I am sure there is a person for all of us, but where to look is the hard part.


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

This has just been my experience in real life. I've actually had people point and laugh at me in public. Online I feel more relaxed and my personality comes out more so its easier to build a relationship (which is something I'm working on right now), but in real life women don't pay the slightest bit of attention to me. I don't really care that much anymore since I'm not looking to meet anyone when I do go somewhere, but it would be nice to feel attractive instead of like a piece of **** when I'm in public.


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## copper (Nov 10, 2003)

Lonelyguy said:


> This has just been my experience in real life. I've actually had people point and laugh at me in public. Online I feel more relaxed and my personality comes out more so its easier to build a relationship (which is something I'm working on right now), but in real life women don't pay the slightest bit of attention to me. I don't really care that much anymore since I'm not looking to meet anyone when I do go somewhere, but it would be nice to feel attractive instead of like a piece of @#%$ when I'm in public.


Yeah I know what you mean. It is hard to shake those kind of feelings when they been programmed into a person for many years. I am glad that you are working on a relationship with someone online. Hope it works out for you.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

No one pays attention to me, male or female

I don't think there's a single person on Earth who thinks more about me than I think about them. That includes acquaintances, friends, and people who I've seen but have never met.

Can you tell that I have self-esteem issues?


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

To Futures: You mentioned that you tried asking out a girl at work and got rejected. It's quite possible that the girl wouldn't want to have any kind of relationship with a co-worker. I wouldn't base your attractiveness to women on your experience with a co-worker.

As for me, I was surprised last week to get a pleasant smile from a very cute girl who was looking at me when I walked into the library. I didn't have the presence of mind to smile back because it surprised me that a person would smile at me who wasn't laughing at me. Plus, I was walking too fast and she was standing still, so I couldn't process that she was actually smiling at me because she thought I was cute until I was well on the other side of the room! 

In general, though, I get the impression from things I read that women want men to make the first move and to be the one showing interest.


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## daaaaave (Jan 1, 2007)

i'm 25 and some people call me sir, i hate it, it just reminds me i always have a stone cold expression on my face and the fact i'm tall and pretty well built i think intimidates people

i do notice girls checking me out. they are sneaky though, if you really want to catch them, you might want to throw on some sunglasses and like someone else said, dress fashionable.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

daaaaave said:


> i'm 25 and some people call me sir, i hate it


Well, as men we don't have anything else to be called but "sir", really. It isn't an age-dependant term. You don't call a male "boy" or "kid". A woman can be called "ma'am" or "miss" depending on her age.


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## Stanley (May 11, 2007)

daaaaave said:


> i'm 25 and some people call me sir


Me too. But I agree with IcedOver on this one. There's basically no other term for us than sir.


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## syphilitic_monarch (Nov 6, 2007)

Girls don't like short guys (5,6 here). There was a recent study that indicated short guys are more likely to be pedophiles. That's not encouraging.


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## Stanley (May 11, 2007)

Futures said:


> The one girl I showed interest to avoided me and rejected me when I asked her out.


This just happened to me recently, so I can totally relate.


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## gooden222 (Oct 26, 2006)

Im 15, and men that are 50+ caII me sir


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## Redefine (Jan 11, 2005)

I've been getting a lot of attention from girls recently, like maybe last half year or so. This is probably because my acne has totally cleared up (thank you accutane), and they like my voice (they say its deep and sexy, haha). I've also been working out and I'm getting more muscular. The attention was great for my confidence at first, but now its only making me more anxious. It seems to just bring the fact that I'm horrible with girls out into the public eye. I hate being known as the 'hot shy guy'. One girl in particular is in love with my voice, and I have the biggest crush on her because shes incredibly sexy, but I'm just too dam awkward and shy. I can tell she knows I like her, which kills me inside because shes getting frustrated. My lame attempts of communicating with her are painful. Most of the time I just try to avoid her. I could kill myself :sigh


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## gooden222 (Oct 26, 2006)

manIy deep voice + muscuIar body = girIs want

i figured out it's reaIy just a simpIe eqaution


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

Redefine--I know what you mean about getting attention because of your voice. I'm not a very good looking guy and am not muscular (thin but not muscular) and yet I have a very deep, resonant voice like a newscaster. I get a lot of comments on it but not from any attractive women because I simply am never around any attractive women. :no

As for the girl you mentioned, you need to just forget your shyness and go for it and ask her out.


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## Redefine (Jan 11, 2005)

IcedOver said:


> As for the girl you mentioned, you need to just forget your shyness and go for it and ask her out.


I wish it was that simple. The thing is, when I talk to her I turn into this boring, cold person who can't even look her in the eyes. I just want her to know the real me.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

gooden222 said:


> manIy deep voice + muscuIar body = girIs want
> 
> i figured out it's reaIy just a simpIe eqaution


I posted a voice clip of myself on a message board one time and all the girls went crazy over my voice. They loved it.

Like I mentioned in my original post, I posted a shirtless pic of myself on various sites and got a 8.5-9.5 on each site. I've been working out for years, although I'm still quite skinny. I guess the best comparison is a surfer body.

Despite those two things above, girls treat me like I'm invisible in real life.


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## daaaaave (Jan 1, 2007)

How big are you physically?


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

To Futures: It sounds to me like you have all the physical attributes that a woman would want but perhaps you have to just put yourself out in the field and be more aggressive in trying to get what you want. Display yourself in person with the same confidence with which you displayed yourself in photos online and perhaps you'll have success. At least you have the voice and the looks. I sound like Superman but I look like an uglier, twirpier version of Spider-Man! Good luck to you.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

I've never had any kind of female attention when I'm 'out and about'. Whether it was at school, work, or just walking through a mall or outside or whatever. I've never been called ugly, but I've never been called anything at all. I've never been hit on when I'm out doing stuff. It's like I'm invisible.

It's not really any kind of mystery though. I'm not much to look at, and I possess no fashion sense whatsoever. I got nothin'.


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

> manIy deep voice + muscuIar body = girIs want


Not always...
My voice deepend early, around age 12 or 13 and is still rather deep today. And while I don't have enough mass to have a body builder type physique I am fit and pretty well built for my size with good muscle tone and defintion. Plus I spend a lot of time in the sun during the summer months so I always have a dark tan. Even with all those things going for me I'm pretty much invisible to women when I go out in public. Doesn't really matter much to me anyway, but just thought I would put that out there....


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## RacerX (Jun 12, 2006)

Lonelyguy said:


> > manIy deep voice + muscuIar body = girIs want
> 
> 
> Not always...
> My voice deepend early, around age 12 or 13 and is still rather deep today. And while I don't have enough mass to have a body builder type physique I am fit and pretty well built for my size with good muscle tone and defintion. Plus I spend a lot of time in the sun during the summer months so I always have a dark tan. Even with all those things going for me I'm pretty much invisible to women when I go out in public. Doesn't really matter much to me anyway, but just thought I would put that out there....


Thats kinda like me. Actually, very like me. Other guys say things like 'hit the gym a fair bit? Because you're a pretty f*ckin big dude' or 'wow dude youre ripped as ****' or even 'you look nice man, after some women tonight?'....and even then, no visible interest. Whatsoever. I just don't understand. I'm not a professional bodybuilder, but I do have a good tan, good clothes(RL polos, A|X), nice hairstyle, high cheekbones defined jaw....but none of this seems to matter. At least if I was fat i'd know it was my weight and I could work on losing weight, but I have nothing left to work on. I look as good as I possibly can and it means nothing.


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## chuck12121 (Feb 6, 2005)

I couldn't tell you if a girl was checking me out or flirting with me. I have sort of programmed myself to think that no one would ever be checking me out. I know I'm not a great looking guy but I had my share of girlfriends. All the girls I have dated showed interest in me first. I have never really asked out a girl and put myself out there to be rejected. Like now I have a friend of a friend who I chat with and see out sometimes. I think everyone would tell me to at least ask her but no matter what, I always believe my irrational thoughts.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Futures said:


> I don't get it. I would consider myself to be a decent looking guy. I'd say I'm about a 7 (maybe 7.5 on a good day). But yet women don't ever notice me. I can be out and about shopping, or wherever, and never do I see girls give me a second look. At work, there are girls everywhere that are my age. In the 1 year that I've been working there, not one has gone out of her way to actually talk to me. The one girl I showed interest to avoided me and rejected me when I asked her out.
> 
> I thought perhaps I was over estimating my appearance. So, I put a few pictures up on various rating sites. Regular pics of me yielded ratings in the 7 range. My shirtless pic consistantly got 8.5-9.5. I would think if I really was a 7, I would at least get something from women in real life, but no. I can probably count on one hand the number of times a girl has shown the slightest bit of interest in me.
> I'm curious to hear about other guys experiences on this issue.


It could just be the paranoia of sa but it seems like I'm noticed, which in turn heightens my anxiety. I start thinking what do I do this girl is looking at me; especially if they're looking for an extended period or if they look constantly or make it obvious they are looking. Do I look back at her? I don't know how to force a smile so usually I don't look back, lol. It could be how you're looking at women. In my opinion women don't want to be stared at. A peek is one thing but if there is a hot girl and every guy is just non-stop looking at her I think she takes more interest or tries to stir more interest from the guy that looks without staring and isn't dam near drooling. I think this is a benefit to saers. The disadvantage comes when you have to approach. If you continue to peak without giving/showing much interest and don't initiate a convo I think they get kinda ticked or annoyed because I've noticed usually they'll give you the benefit of the doubt if you don't approach the first or second time but more than that and they're just annoyed. But then again I've had some where they'll ignore you for a bit then start showing interest again so :stu

You know how they have those bracelets for people with diabetes. I wish they had something like that for us so that any woman that was checking us out would realize we have it that way I know that they aren't going to freak out when they find we have it. Same goes for women with sa.


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## thecurerules (May 31, 2004)

I do get attention from girls at times, and it makes me feel uncomfortable. Not all of them are friendly toward me.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

chuck12121 said:


> I couldn't tell you if a girl was checking me out or flirting with me. I have sort of programmed myself to think that no one would ever be checking me out. I know I'm not a great looking guy but I had my share of girlfriends. All the girls I have dated showed interest in me first. I have never really asked out a girl and put myself out there to be rejected. Like now I have a friend of a friend who I chat with and see out sometimes. I think everyone would tell me to at least ask her but no matter what, I always believe my irrational thoughts.


There must be something attractive girls see in you, otherwise no one would ask you out.


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## AJFA88 (Jun 16, 2007)

around my last year in high school a couple of girls approached me. but i sunked the first date. Oddly i made a girlfriend, then it didnt last long and afterwards i was depressed as hell.

My daily routine is around people WAY older than me. The only times i see girls my age is when im riding the bus. Very few actually even look at me with interest...


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Not in a couple of years.


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

I think part of the problem is girls usually expect guys to make the first contact, so if a girl was interested in you then nothing usually would happen unless your the one to initiate it otherwise they might just assume your not interested or go about thier business.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

NerveShock said:


> I think part of the problem is girls usually expect guys to make the first contact, so if a girl was interested in you then nothing usually would happen unless your the one to initiate it otherwise they might just assume your not interested or go about thier business.


But this approach I wouldn't recommend for saers because we aren't good enough conversationalists. My tip is look don't stare if you get a reaction like she tries to make herself more visible by going next to you or right into your line of vision does a hair flip or something like this then if you have the guts initiate contact. But just going up to someone that hasn't reacted to you, means you have to go through a concrete wall defense system and if you aren't a good talker :afr


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## TheStig (Nov 24, 2007)

I definitely agree that the right set of clothes can turn heads. Why don't you try a few pin-striped shirts from American Eagle or something. Or a brown shirt, with deep blue jeans and white adidas. It works for me.


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## daaaaave (Jan 1, 2007)

I wish I knew how to initiate contact at a bar or something. I see them look and sometimes the hair flip thing which is supposed to be a sign, but if I approached it would probably be just an awkward "hi" and I wouldn't know what to say. I feel like I could do alright if I got the convo going though.


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## mjatte (Feb 10, 2007)

do girls pay attention to me? yes, but when they find out that I don't know how to be social, all their interest is gone...


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## ihateme (Nov 17, 2007)

1 girlfriend in 29 years. Never had sex and women treat me like the elephant man.

I am going to the 40 year old virgin. So the rest of you are doing better than me


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## TheStig (Nov 24, 2007)

mjatte said:


> do girls pay attention to me? yes, but when they find out that I don't know how to be social, all their interest is gone...


Amen, Mjatte.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

All of you guys have girls checking you out? No one ever checks me out or has shown a tiniest bit of interest in me even for a few seconds.

Oh damn am I really that ugly? I thought I was at least a 4 out of 10. Maybe I am at best a 2


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## Eraserhead (Sep 23, 2006)

vicente said:


> All of you guys have girls checking you out? No one ever checks me out or has shown a tiniest bit of interest in me even for a few seconds.
> 
> Oh damn am I really that ugly? I thought I was at least a 4 out of 10. Maybe I am at best a 2


Dude, same with me 

I'm really surprised at how many SAS guys seem to get checked out. I guess I must be pretty unattractive (and I've got a personality to match).


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## Stanley (May 11, 2007)

Girls pay attention to me occasionally but mostly in classes when they have a question about a homework or a test. Funny thing is, as soon as I try to talk about something that has nothing to do with the class their most common response is "OK, thanks" and they turn away.

:con


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

My friend says I dress bad. I'm starting to agree. I have some pretty darn ugly clothes. Add to that being nervous, lacking confidence, keeping my head down. I've pretty much abandoned the idea of having any kind of relationship and it doesn't feel as bad as it used to. I'm actually more worried about what to do with my life the most... not having a girlfriend or something.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

vicente said:


> All of you guys have girls checking you out? No one ever checks me out or has shown a tiniest bit of interest in me even for a few seconds.
> 
> Oh damn am I really that ugly? I thought I was at least a 4 out of 10. Maybe I am at best a 2


 :ditto

I'm a hopeless case. :boogie


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## LonelyEnigma (Jan 7, 2007)

mjatte said:


> do girls pay attention to me? yes, but when they find out that I don't know how to be social, all their interest is gone...


 :ditto 
Sometimes ladies become interested in me because of they way I look&#8230;.but my serious, super shy personality is the ultimate lady-repellant.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

ihateme said:


> 1 girlfriend in 29 years. Never had sex and women treat me like the elephant man.
> 
> I am going to the 40 year old virgin. So the rest of you are doing better than me


Wait I haven't had a physical gf that lived in my area :rofl 
I guess I'm worse than you.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

Last week at work, I got a major IOI (indicator of interest). I walked into the lunchroom and right away this girl is like "what's your name?" I told her what it was and then she told me her name. I said "nice to meet you" and then just completely ignored her and went about doing what I went in there to do. I didn't even know what else to say. I think she was kind of suprised that I blew her off like that.

I crossed paths with her a couple more times in the days after that, and again she made a couple blatant attempts at trying to talk to me. My SA kicked in again and I gave her the cold shoulder.

Then today I saw her again and this time she didn't even bother to say anything to me. Perhaps it was because I avoided eye contact with her even though she walked right in front of me...

It doesn't really bother me too much because I'm not really attracted to her. But I guess it's just the principle of it all that gets me. Even if the girl was drop dead gorgeous, I'm sure I'd not have the slightest idea what to say in return to her flirtatious comments.

BTW, I think that was the first IOI that I've gotten in at least 5 years...probably longer.


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## Zen Mechanics (Aug 3, 2007)

Depends what situation. If it's at a party/club whatever, or more to the point, if I'm drunk and hence are in a relaxed/happy/approachable mood then yeah i generally have girls coming up or whatever. On the other hand, in class or at uni or just in every day life they often treat me like i don't exist. i'm guessing that's because my 'neutral' face (when i'm sober at least) looks kind of angry/pissed off and add that to the fact i just sit there and never say anything.. people tend to just steer clear of me.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Futures said:


> Last week at work, I got a major IOI (indicator of interest). I walked into the lunchroom and right away this girl is like "what's your name?" I told her what it was and then she told me her name. I said "nice to meet you" and then just completely ignored her and went about doing what I went in there to do. I didn't even know what else to say. I think she was kind of suprised that I blew her off like that.
> 
> I crossed paths with her a couple more times in the days after that, and again she made a couple blatant attempts at trying to talk to me. My SA kicked in again and I gave her the cold shoulder.
> 
> ...


Once a year or so a girl does that to me too. But that happens once a year to me with guys too. And they're always the same type of easy-going person who talks to everybody so I know that it's not like they're attracted to me in particular, they just like to make friends with whoever they run into, and I happen to be at the right moment at the right time.

Or maybe I'm being too negative and I really am better than their 200 friends. Maybe it's different with you. Does that girl look like someone who'd be friendly to everyone? How does she act toward other people?


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

Attention?...
Depends on what one means.
I would say hardly ever. Sometimes in the friendship way, but pretty much never in a relationship sense. Online isn't any different from RL in that sense.


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## Stanley (May 11, 2007)

Futures said:


> It doesn't really bother me too much because I'm not really attracted to her.


I bet this girl right now is posting a new topic on some forum titled, "Girls! Do guys pay attention to you?" :lol


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## X33 (Feb 13, 2005)

-


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## X33 (Feb 13, 2005)

-


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

I think I'd die if a girl showed interest in me.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

ag said:


> soundlessenigma said:
> 
> 
> > I think I'd die if a girl showed interest in me.
> ...


Yep, fortunately/unfortunately.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

ag said:


> ag said:
> 
> 
> > girls have shown interest in me in the past (I am not that ugly loooking)
> ...


Yeah they obviously liked something about you. The comments about women making the first verbal move makes me wonder whether most of the girls that I think have eyed me perhaps weren't but were rather looking at me and looking away in fear and just happened to play with their hair :con


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

ag said:


> In it were 2 fairly good looking girls (strangers), one asked if I wanted a ride. I was taken aback and mumbled something like no thanks I will wait for the bus


That totally reminds me of the scene at the end of Dumb and Dumber where the bus pulls up to them with all the Hawaiian Tropic Girls... :lol

Although, I can easily see myself reacting the same way because I don't think quick on my feet when overwhelmed by anxiety.


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## demoneyeskyo (Oct 23, 2006)

I always avoid eye contact whenever im in public so i can never tell if anyone is checking me. I highly doubt that any girls would. when they do its probably out of disgust or amusement. I have a bad hair style and bad taste in apparel. i go out wearing the same shoes i wear for running and they are so worn out.


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## Mayflower 2000 (Nov 11, 2003)

I have no idea if they pay attention to me. Even just looking at me. Because I never really *look* at anyone unless I already know them, or I'm talking to them. It's like I'm too SA to look at a person as I walk by them.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Nope, no attention from girls. It's frustrating, but what can I do? Right now I feel powerless.


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## thecurerules (May 31, 2004)

Futures said:


> That totally reminds me of the scene at the end of Dumb and Dumber where the bus pulls up to them with all the Hawaiian Tropic Girls... :lol.


Haha, that movie is hilarious! This is my favorite scene...


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

No, but it's not such a big deal to me any more.


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## 2Talkative (Nov 1, 2007)

I've never in my life had a girl pay attention to me at all. I thought it was because I was ugly as sin. But who knows...I;m ****ed..


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

They only pay attention to me when they want to get a good laugh.


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## Avilos (Jul 7, 2005)

I seem to be getting a lot of attention from Girls lately. Or Maybe I am just noticing it for the first time. WHen I go to stores the young female employees are extra chatty with me. Is this a sign of something???? At Target a few weeks back the changing Room attendant was joking about how how much power she has( meaning not much) needing a ticket to use the changing room. I have a sarcastic sense of humor. I said she has got to use any power she can get...But I am afraid it came of as harsh.

Then today when I bought a book at Walden Books the girl at the register was extra chatty. We joked about how I could not find my Rewards Card and that people carry stuff 
in their wallets that they never use. She was cute, "Cute Geek"... I mean that as a complement too! She had glasses and a big smile....I think she was flirting with me!!! She bent over to reach something under the counter...and I could see down her shirt! :blush She was wearing a very baggy T-shirt and I could see her skimpy bra underneath. SHE HAD TO KNOW I COULD SEE! 

So what is the protocol for a situation like this? Its not like I could ask her out while she is working!


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

srschirm said:


> Nope, no attention from girls. It's frustrating, but what can I do? Right now I feel powerless.


If you moved out to my area and allowed me to work my magic on you I'm sure you'd be getting more attention than me. For one we'd work on your physique. Your glasses would disappear. Seriously you could definitely pull girls. I on the otherhand am great at pulling girls into the friends zone :lol


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

scairy said:


> I on the otherhand am great at pulling girls into the friends zone :lol


Cue the them to the Twilight Zone..... :fall

I always hated the dreaded line: "I just don't like you in that way"


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

millenniumman75 said:


> scairy said:
> 
> 
> > I on the otherhand am great at pulling girls into the friends zone :lol
> ...


I've strangely never been told such a line (or similar). Then again, I don't ask people out so it makes sense. I just assume that I'll never see anyone I meet ever again, and it's a surprise if I make a friend. :lol


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## keyscloud (Apr 13, 2007)

its funny when i was in middle school and early on in high school i had some of the cutest girls in the school really interested in me. but now im 21 and have never had a girl express interest me in like 5 or 6 years. i really dont get it, i dress decently, have clear skin, work out, try to walk with confidence but nada. it depresses the hell out of me. the only thing i could think of is that im on the shorter side (5'9'') but meh whatever. i guess i have to work on my approach and "game" but damn it would be nice if any girl could express interest in me.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

5'9" is only 1 inch shorter than average so that shouldn't be the issue. It's only when you're 4-5+ inches below average (such as myself, haha) that it becomes a significant problem.


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## Mayflower 2000 (Nov 11, 2003)

I just looked up the other day to find that average height for American men is 5'9". About 5'9.25".


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Mayflower 2000 said:


> I just looked up the other day to find that average height for American men is 5'9". About 5'9.25".


It can range a bit too depending on what age groups are looked at, but that sounds just about right. It certainly wouldn't be much more than 5'10" if you exclude the more elderly people who have lost some of their height.

I'll probably be 5'3" if I live to be an old man. :lol


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## Mayflower 2000 (Nov 11, 2003)

ardrum said:


> Mayflower 2000 said:
> 
> 
> > I just looked up the other day to find that average height for American men is 5'9". About 5'9.25".
> ...


I swear I lost almost an inch already! I used to be 5'10"! I'm in my early 20s


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## keyscloud (Apr 13, 2007)

Mayflower 2000 said:


> ardrum said:
> 
> 
> > [quote="Mayflower 2000":zb8ztkv7]I just looked up the other day to find that average height for American men is 5'9". About 5'9.25".
> ...


I swear I lost almost an inch already! I used to be 5'10"! I'm in my early 20s [/quote:zb8ztkv7]
nah you probably just have poor posture. start doing pullups, back/yoga type stretches and youll be fine.


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## Halfie (Dec 29, 2007)

I've basically given up on girls. If you're a guy without any self-confidence or self-esteem, girls will brutally punish you for it. I thank God I'm bisexual, and that guys only care about looks. It means I have a chance. If I weren't bisexual, I still wouldn't know how it feels to kiss someone, or to feel the warmth of another person's body. I'd be even more isolated than I am now, with no end in sight to the loneliness. The thought of spending the next 30 years or more alone is more than most of us could bear, and it would only be a matter of time before I started contemplating suicide. My bisexuality saved my life.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Halfie said:


> I've basically given up on girls. If you're a guy without any self-confidence or self-esteem, girls will brutally punish you for it. I thank God I'm bisexual, and that guys only care about looks. It means I have a chance. If I weren't bisexual, I still wouldn't know how it feels to kiss someone, or to feel the warmth of another person's body. I'd be even more isolated than I am now, with no end in sight to the loneliness. The thought of spending the next 30 years or more alone is more than most of us could bear, and it would only be a matter of time before I started contemplating suicide. My bisexuality saved my life.


Yeah, I can imagine how having a larger "pool" of candidates for attraction is a major benefit.

Your bisexuality puts you in a unique position to be able to look at how attraction works from both sexes as well. It's interesting that you find it easier with males, but I think it makes sense when looking at the big picture.


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## Halfie (Dec 29, 2007)

People think there's no reason why a bisexual guy, given the choice between a girl or a guy he likes equally, would ever pick the guy, because of the stigma of being gay. That assumes the guy is normal and doesn't have depression or self-esteem issues, and it doesn't take into account just how lopsided the playing field is between girls and guys and the expectations applied to each. The "price" of being gay today is nothing to me, because what's the alternative? Being alone for the rest of my life? Tempting, but I'll pass.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Halfie said:


> I've basically given up on girls. If you're a guy without any self-confidence or self-esteem, girls will brutally punish you for it.


Someone here once mentioned that a guy with no self-confidence and self-esteem is like a fat girl. I sort of agree, the only thing is that there's a sizeable minority of guys who like fat girls, but there are more girls who have been struck by lightning twice than girls who are attracted to guys with no self-confidence and self-esteem.



Halfie said:


> I thank God I'm bisexual, and that guys only care about looks. It means I have a chance. If I weren't bisexual, I still wouldn't know how it feels to kiss someone, or to feel the warmth of another person's body.


I wish I was good-looking like you so I could find a guy who would like me.



Halfie said:


> I'd be even more isolated than I am now, with no end in sight to the loneliness. The thought of spending the next 30 years or more alone is more than most of us could bear, and it would only be a matter of time before I started contemplating suicide. My bisexuality saved my life.


So you disagree that it is worse to have love and lost, then to never have loved.


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## Halfie (Dec 29, 2007)

The flip side of guys caring mostly about looks is that nothing else matters that much. It doesn't matter if you're depressed, or if you're from a different socioeconomic class, or if you're nerdy, or whatever. It might matter in the long run, but guys will at least give you a chance. That's why I think guys putting so much emphasis on looks ironically makes them LESS superficial, because it means they're willing to expose themselves to people from very different walks of life. Even if you're not particularly attractive, you're at least on an even footing with every other person with average looks. 

Straight guys have a harder time of it, but if you are able to get past this, you'll end up in an even better position than the gay guy. Girls will be attracted to you as long as you radiate confidence, and because they care less about looks, it won't matter that much if you're not good-looking.

For every photograph where I look halfway decent, there's 100 photographs that I will do everything in my power to make sure never see the light of day, hehe.


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## crazyg (Jun 18, 2005)

Halfie said:


> The flip side of guys caring mostly about looks is that nothing else matters that much. It doesn't matter if you're depressed, or if you're from a different socioeconomic class, or if you're nerdy, or whatever. It might matter in the long run, but guys will at least give you a chance. That's why I think guys putting so much emphasis on looks ironically makes them LESS superficial, because it means they're willing to expose themselves to people from very different walks of life. QUOTE]
> 
> I understand what you're saying. But I think that's a bit of a stretch. It certainly does matter in the long run whether there's any kind of connection between the people, regardless of looks. And on the flip side of your flip side, (heh) those that care about looks may turn away some people that don't fit their standards, thus not exposing themselves to a really large group of potentially great people. Therefore, they are still limiting themselves as much or more than others who pick partners based on other qualities. But I guess it's debatable and I could go on all night about that.
> 
> ...


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## crazyg (Jun 18, 2005)

Just wanted to add, Halfie, that prior to writing my above post I hadn't read your previous posts. Anyway, I didn't want to come off sounding like a jerk or unsympathetic. Sorry about your bad experiences with girls. And it is good that you've had more luck with guys.


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## Dempsey (Jun 27, 2009)

It depends on what mood I'm in. If I'm feeling down I probably look angry all the time and girls want nothing to do with me. Other times, people notice me more.


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## JFmtl (Dec 23, 2008)

I don't get much attention from girls in the dating/flirting department. Physically, i'm very.. average, i'm not really good looking to be honest and i'm a bit small (5'7'')

So I don't get much attention, unless it is to be in the just-a-friend category.


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## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

Well, yes i actually do get looks from women, occasionally. The flirting usually works, right up to the "just friends" part. Then all progress comes to a halt.


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## Inscrutable Banana (Apr 1, 2008)

Being the recluse that I am I don't give interest much of an opportunity to present itself. As far as online interest goes, well, that's a bit of a lost cause in general I'd say.


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## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

I don't think I'm the type of guy that girls tend to notice. At least, I haven't ever caught a girl "noticing" me.


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## EagerMinnow84 (Sep 1, 2007)

Witan said:


> I don't think I'm the type of guy that girls tend to notice. At least, I haven't ever caught a girl "noticing" me.


When I notice guys, I try not to make it seem like I am noticing them. I think a lot of us girls do that.


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## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

EagerMinnow84 said:


> When I notice guys, I try not to make it seem like I am noticing them. I think a lot of us girls do that.


Maybe. But I know my freshman year in college, tons of girls would flirt with my roommate without giving me a second thought, even when I tried to be social and part of the group. I dunno. Maybe I am "noticed", but just put out vibes that I'm unapproachable?


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## kenny87 (Feb 22, 2009)

nope, it would be awesome if they did but I don't think so, of course I probably wouldn't notice if they did.


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## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

No.


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## markx (Dec 22, 2007)

On the rare occasions when someone seems to be paying me more than the usual amount of attention, I always assume that they're just sizing up the weird guy whilst planning to scream/run/hide.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

EagerMinnow84 said:


> When I notice guys, I try not to make it seem like I am noticing them. I think a lot of us girls do that.


I think guys do that, too. Or at least I do.


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## Eraserhead (Sep 23, 2006)

No they do not. I have some ideas why.


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## dessibel (Jul 28, 2009)

Even if someone is looking at me theres nothing that can be done because I dont know them. Its hopeless, just ignore everybody.


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## 2Talkative (Nov 1, 2007)

I'm too busy being scared to notice someone looking at me.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

I don't know. It doesn't really matter anyway since I'm just not in a position to be talking to any women or entertaining the idea of dating at the moment and never have been. I'm not a good looking guy but once in a great while a woman will throw me a smile. The clearest signal was just a few weeks ago when a woman clearly flashed me a coy smile twice in a library. But I noticed that she was wearing an engagement ring, so I don't know what the hell was going on with that. 

I'd love to be able to chat up a girl I don't know and maybe ask for a number instead of trying online dating which is the easiest route for a shy guy but which also has a ton of competition. But I could never initiate a conversation unless I knew that a girl had some interest.


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## nightrain (Nov 17, 2008)

I notice girls checking me out once in a while. My problem is I don't go out very often. I'm pretty confident about how I look and dress.

I must say that I did NOT feel this way just a few months ago. I've been working on myself. I didn't dress nice before and I've been working out. It helps too that my skin has cleared up.


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

Yeah, I see girls staring at me all the time! But, uh....not in a good way.


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## N3XT2NON3 (Aug 10, 2009)

there i days i feel confident in my looks & times where i'm not. i think some notice. approaching them is the problem


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

I don't think so?


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

Futures said:


> I'm curious to hear about other guys experiences on this issue.


 Not really but I've never gone out of my way to stand out in any appreciable way. 98% of the time, I'd really rather they _not _ notice me at all. Occasionally, I feel the need to at least be acknowledged but at the same time, I really don't want to hear what anyone has to say about me. That sounds weird and it is but so am I.


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## Catching Fire (Apr 23, 2009)

I honestly have no idea. Maybe because my SA always makes me focus on me too much. Anyone else not really know?


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## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

yeah, they always pay attention to me 

not that it matters though

it does not have any effect on my life one bit, so who cares


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## seanybhoy (Mar 2, 2008)

Yeah, unfortunately it's skanks n jailbait too though, ugh all the decent gurls are either taken or painfully shy.


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

2Talkative said:


> I'm too busy being scared to notice someone looking at me.


:ditto


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## Xephere (Jul 29, 2009)

I don't think there was any girl was ever remotely interested in me. There were a few girls that I liked in high school, and I would give them a compliment on something, and they would just say "thank you" and then they would just go back to ignoring me. When girls do pay attention to me, it's usually in a bad way. They'll just give me a nasty look. I've always been told by girls that I was really ugly. That hurt a lot. It would really make my day to hear a girl tell me that she thinks I'm cute.


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## rumjungle (Feb 13, 2009)

_AJ_ said:


> yeah, they always pay attention to me


That's because you're always popping up on the news! :b


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Nobody pays attention to me. And I'm the kind of guy who should keep his shirt on. I'm not like Obama & Putin.:lol (And do those guys wax or just naturally have no body hair?) Before we had leaders with shirts and had an arms race. Now we seem to get power from which leader looks best shirtless I guess.:stu


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

No, they don't, at least not romantically. I have an idea why, too, it's probably because I'm a skinny nerd. :no


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

I have no idea if anyone notices me... how do you know? I never talk to them so I guess its a mystery.


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## sacred (May 25, 2009)

i sometimes get a look and a smile but never take any action. the kind of women who do pay attention to me are the ones who want to be approached and have the guy do all the initial talking/macking. those are the kind of women im attracted to so i have two options if i want a dating life 1: grow a set of balls and get out there and start approaching women 2: accept and get used to being single.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

i dont want them to


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## Pelicanbay (Jun 30, 2009)

oh i was so looking forward to night, had a friend i just got back in touch with last week, she asks for me to go out tonight and at the last second, she says its a no go all of a sudden...i was so mad, not because i dont get to see her but because i was feeling good, like real confident and ready for anything, i could have approached any woman no problem tonight had she not done that, ****ty thing is she's still going to the place she said i all of a sudden couldnt go to...wtf?


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## ManOnTheMOON (Aug 14, 2009)

I get looks of interest every now and then but I always beat myself up cause I never take the chance to say hello. Or even in the club, lol i dont have the courage to just start grinding with a girl the way I use to when they give me a look.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

sacred said:


> talking/macking


What is macking?


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## ManOnTheMOON (Aug 14, 2009)

its basically flirting


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

Annoyingly, since I've had my hair cut, yes.

I liked my long hair but nobody else did


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## KennethJones (Jun 22, 2009)

andy1984 said:


> What is macking?


That word (mack/macking) never fails to put a smile on my face. It makes me chuckle. :teeth


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## sabueed (May 8, 2008)

To be honest, I'm not quite sure. I could have had hundreds of girls interested in me, or I could have had none at all, I will never be sure. I'm not good at reading women. Many times I wonder if that girl that was constantly staring at me was attracted to me, or maybe she thought she knew me.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

The only attention I get is when girls move out of the way so they don't run into me when walking by.


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## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

shyvr6 said:


> The only attention I get is when girls move out of the way so they don't run into me when walking by.


Well put. 

That's about it for me.


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## ivankaramazov (Aug 22, 2009)

If girls don't notice you, try carrying around a guitar.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I've noticed some glances here & there but I'm a Buffoon so it's not as though I feel capable of doing much with this info, perhaps a smile back on a really good day. Really though I'm often oblivious or notice to late


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## LostPancake (Apr 8, 2009)

i wouldn't say i'm very good looking, but they seem to notice me if i'm feeling okay with myself, ie not really caring what they think. i mean, my body language seems to be okay, and talking, to a certain extent, but if they get too close to me all my insecurity all comes out. then it's over!

and that, among other things, is why i'm in therapy.

it was a long, hard struggle to get as far as i did, but it's still not enough!


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## Mnster (Oct 2, 2008)

Yes and no... the type of girls I wouldn't mind, pretty, smart educated, drug free and clean are a no. But, I do note attention from the other types unfortunately at times. I'm not a bad looking dude, toned athletic I'd say, back at school I would get occasional hits but then they would find out I'm a social moron.

Attention always seems to come at the wrong time as well. Why can't I get attention solo at a singles bar or even at Wal mart or a gas station. Why does my brother, employer or otherwise always have be at my side when it happens? When they are with me I always turn into a nervous wreck and can't flirt in front of them for fear of being judged. If not that it's a time frame deal, girls chatting to each other in the dentist office, reading a magazine I barely notice as I rarely get attention that spews out to be noticable, the receptionist call my name and the girls all giggled as they now know my name, I follow the receptionist as she was waiting on me. GRRRRR


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

I never see girls giving me a second look, however then again I am usually too shy to look at them after the first glance anyway so I would not know. My lack of success over the years would suggest they probably aren't though.


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)




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