# Boy Approach Girl, Or Girl Approach Guy.



## LonleyBoy15 (Sep 13, 2006)

Im 16, and ive just been waitng for a girl that fits my liking to approach me..

So do girls approach guys? or should the guy approach the giirls.


I just think no girls like me because they dont come up to me and say they do.. 

So girls: Do you want to be approached?. Or Do girls what guys to approach


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Girls want the guy to approach (at least that's the way it used to be) :um.


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## Panic Prone (Mar 5, 2006)

There's no rule. I can't stand girls who say a guy has to come up to them. I let girls come to me. That's how i've always been.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

Well, uh, I neither want to be approached nor do I want to do the approaching. It's too awkward a situation for me to be comfortable in either way.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

LonleyBoy15 said:


> Im 16, and ive just been waitng for a girl that fits my liking to approach me..
> 
> So do girls approach guys? or should the guy approach the giirls.
> 
> ...


Usually women will approach but what they considering approaching is essentially giving silent cues. They'll come sit near or next to you and then run their fingers throught their hair or look over at you and then look away and then look over at you. Rarely will they start the conversation but a few will. As much as it may appear that the guy should take first initiative the girl has to first give you one of these signs as an okay otherwise you better be a good talker because her guard will be elevated.


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## GraceLikeRain (Nov 9, 2003)

LonleyBoy15 said:


> So girls: Do you want to be approached?. Or Do girls what guys to approach


I guess I would rather approach the guy because then I would know that I would have the confidence to talk to him.
I think that most women want to be approached, though...sorry, lol.


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## Argo (May 1, 2005)

I wouldn't really hold out much hope on things getting done unless you do them.


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## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

I think it's the soceity that has made a social condition in girls for some reason not to approach so very rarely will they outright walk up to you and talk to you. Personally I like it if girls did that more, but that's just not what they do.


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## cat burglar (Sep 2, 2006)

Well girls are all different. And nobody's going to come up to you and say they like you. They'll hint much more subtly than that, if at all.

Keep in mind that if you wait for a girl to approach you, you probably won't be dating any shy girls... if that's what you want. And some guys who wait around like that are never approached anyway, so you might be out of luck.


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## MissChocolateMilkshake (Jul 25, 2004)

All Girls and Women are different. But for me I would rather a Man approach me. So atleast, I would know that they are interested in me. If they dont approach me than, they really did not want to talk to me. I have never approached a guy, probably never will. I have the fear of getting rejected to my face.


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## Whimsy (Mar 16, 2006)

:agree 

I want the guy to approach me.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

Cold approaches from women are almost unheard of. If you're waiting for that girl in the library to come up to you and ask for your phone number out of the blue, it ain't gonna happen.

Women don't operate like that. Girls never make such a direct approach. Instead they wait for a guy who they've had time to be around for a while (as in casually knowing them). And if they like him, they'll do sublte things like lightly touching his arm and being flirty and stuff like that, in hopes that he'll take the hint and make a move on her. It's very indirect.


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## knglerxt (Jan 18, 2006)

Panic Prone said:


> There's no rule. I can't stand girls who say a guy has to come up to them. I let girls come to me. That's how i've always been.


 What's been your success rate with this approach? I assume not very good. From my experience, girls just don't approach guys. I've been told by a lot of people that I'm a good looking guy, and girls never approach me.


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## Restless Mind (Jul 19, 2006)

The guy approaches. It's always been that way, and it will remain that way.


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## Skackal (Aug 4, 2006)

MissChocolateMilkshake said:


> If they dont approach me than, they really did not want to talk to me.


Do you *REALLY* believe this after reading all the posts from all of us socially challenged guys? There are a lot of guys out there that would love to get to know you but just simply lack the ability to initiate a conversation.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Skackal said:


> MissChocolateMilkshake said:
> 
> 
> > If they dont approach me than, they really did not want to talk to me.
> ...


Yeah. But I do see in a way what she might mean. How badly do we really want to get to know that girl if we can't approach her? Obviously we have this feeling somewhere in us that says we can live without getting to know her.

Now the problem for me is at least 99% of the time I'd get shut down because of the noticeable nerves and lack of social skills to a complete stranger. So even if I did approach showing that I really did want to talk to them I'd be in the same predicament that I was in before being shut down.

Then again I really don't want to talk to a girl I don't know but it is the only way you can get to know someone, lol. You have to get through the tantalizing initiation to get to the enjoyable conversations afterwards.

Wow that probably was a waste of time and space as it more than likely makes no sense, lol.


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## lonesomeboy (Aug 29, 2005)

what you said makes sense scairy. for me i have an innate fear of talking to strangers (both male or female - but moreso with females), like my personal space is being invaded or something. I have to get really drunk or high for this barrier to be bought down.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

Well, I usually approach guys myself. Since basically no guys approach me so I have to approach them. It's really tiring because I can't remember a time when a guy approached me, really. It's always been me approaching. I got rejected too. ****ing sucks.


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## Christian (Oct 5, 2006)

It's weird because I don't ever remember learning that that's the way it's supposed to be. It's hard because when is a girl is approached, you know that you're liked, but if a guy approaches a girl, we lose face because we put it all on the line, whether you like us back or not. And what makes it worse is that these so-called signs could end up being nothing at all, or they could be misinterpreted.

If I had any advice to girls it would be to go after who you want and don't feel like you have to wait around for him to catch on.


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## kimi1889 (May 11, 2005)

I like to be approached because I'm afraid to go talk to guys I like (I had my first panic attack a week ago when i was going to call the guy I liked), but it can definitly go either way. Just because girls don't come strait out and say they like you doesn't mean that they don't like you. Even if she's not normally a shy girl, she may be shy about something like that. So yes, pull together all of your courage and talk to her! Because waiting around stinks (trust me, I've been waiting 6 months for this guy that i know likes me to say something, but we're both too shy). If she does like you, she'll be absolutly thrilled that you approached her! It'll make her day! I know it's hard, but don't be afraid!!


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## Mehitabel (Oct 13, 2006)

I'm just a big romantic, and believe in chivalry and the whole man-protecting-woman thing. So of couse I want to be approached. After my boyfriend and I waited two years to be together because it took us that long to say anything, he kind of complains sometimes that I didn't say anything. But hey, it worked out!


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## workman (Mar 5, 2004)

Boys approach girls most of the time

Sucks if you are a guy that doesn't like doing it, or a girl that likes a guy like that.


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## pyramidsong (Apr 17, 2005)

Futures said:


> Cold approaches from women are almost unheard of. If you're waiting for that girl in the library to come up to you and ask for your phone number out of the blue, it ain't gonna happen.
> 
> Women don't operate like that. Girls never make such a direct approach.


I did. I asked this guy out a few months ago. I was petrified but he was worth the risk. I don't do flirting, I feel stupid and fake if I do it. He said no, but it was *still* worth the risk, and I've never regretted asking.


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## planetdystopia (Sep 20, 2006)

I find it hard to approach girls primarily because I usually have no basis for knowing whether or not I might even like/have anything in common with them. I've never understood how people end up finding love by random approach. I've always felt like I have to have at least a small amount of prior knowledge of what sort of person she is before I can really have meaningful conversation. I've tried random conversation with girls who caught my eye many times, and it always seems to immediately dead-end. Either there's no similarities in personality and interests, or she's already taken anyway, or she's a very outgoing and sociable person who I'd never be compatible with, etc. etc. Then again, I am a pretty obscure person so maybe it's easier for others to find commonalities with the opposite sex.


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## cakesniffer (Nov 11, 2003)

No one's ever approached me, but I'd prefer it if the guy did it. A couple of years ago I went through two months of torture as I tried to get the courage to talk to a guy in my class. I'm not going through that ever again since I made a fool of myself. :lol


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

I want to be approached but no guys ever approach me so basically I have to do the approaching. I hate it. No exaggeration included.


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## better days (May 3, 2006)

my girlfriend was shy and never approached me even tho she liked me when she first met me and we didnt end up dating until 6 monthes after we met. i wish i would have approached her earlier but i didnt. even tho she liked me, which she later told me, she didnt approach me because she's kinda shy and didnt think i really liked her even tho i did. now i know that its better to approach a girl instead of waiting even tho it is hard. the worst thing they can say is that they dont feel the same, and even tho its embarasing, its not as bad as wondering what could have been.


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## beanman80 (Oct 11, 2006)

*aahhhhh*

Guys have the tortured role of being the one's in most situations having to walk up to a girl in order to even have a conversation or get their number..ect...women just don't have to walk up to guys(Don't have to explain for the guys)....I remember this one time at work when I was younger I had the biggest crush on a girl that I worked with.....after 2 months I finally asked her out and the old ohhh your my friend stabb in the heart :afr ...she might as well said don't talk to me...well I only worked there a few more weeks ...and as for the good looking guys saying they can't find any women out there...1> you are either way too picky...or 2.)you are gay just admit it...then you will be more successful in the dating game
MissChocolateMilkshake wrote: 
If they dont approach me than, they really did not want to talk to me. 
Your wrong on that one ohh yes you are sooooo wrong  have a nice day


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## Message (Sep 20, 2006)

I think... that the only way I'm going to ever being a relationship is if I am interested in a guy before I'm asked-out. There's just no way I'm going to spend time with a guy and "see where things go". I have to be 100% positive that I like this guy and he likes me... *red flag for AvPD*

So... that's complicated. I'm too afraid to ask a guy out myself, but 99% of all guys that ask me out will get a no, unless I'm practically in love with them first. So, someone I'm secretly in love with has to ask me out. Basically, I'm waiting for a miracle.

Omg, I am so screwed.


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## Misanthropy (Aug 16, 2006)

If you're secretly in love with someone and they're not in a relationship you should ask them out. I'd seriously bet they say yes.

Yes, I admit it's hollow advice and I sure as hell wouldn't do it, but you could get away with it.


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## Maseur Shado (Jun 7, 2005)

I believe that a girl/woman should go over to a guy if she's attracted to him and chat him up. Honestly, handing over all the power of dating to a man puts a woman at a major disadvantage. She's not doing herself any favors, and she's being...well, selfish. I think we're far enough ahead in society now that women should do this, and that men should allow it and not look down on any woman for doing it.

And Big Ugly Dike did practice what she just preached back in the old days...I actually asked someone out. It was only one time, but again, I'm hideous, so I have a much smaller pool of guys to choose from...plus there have been very, very few guys I've ever been genuinely attracted to, which made the pool even smaller. I got rejected, of course, but I did do it.


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## pyramidsong (Apr 17, 2005)

Maseur Shado said:


> And Big Ugly Dike did practice what she just preached back in the old days...I actually asked someone out. It was only one time, but again, I'm hideous


Please don't call yourself that....


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Usually I'm approached by guys I'm not interested in. 
I remember back in highschool I had an eye on this guy and one day after class I walked up to him. I basically just told him I like his style and I'd like to get to know him better. We exchanged numbers and he soon became my boyfriend. I remember approaching a guy another time too because he was gorgeous and we went out for awhile.
SO...I wouldn't mind a guy approaching me, but if I REALLY want someone, I'll take the initiative.


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## pyramidsong (Apr 17, 2005)

OT- Pretty Beck avatar.... Beck pretttttyyyyyyy......

:mushy


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Hehe, gotta <3 Beck.


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## Ventress (Jul 30, 2006)

Message said:


> I think... that the only way I'm going to ever being a relationship is if I am interested in a guy before I'm asked-out. There's just no way I'm going to spend time with a guy and "see where things go". I have to be 100% positive that I like this guy and he likes me... *red flag for AvPD*
> 
> So... that's complicated. I'm too afraid to ask a guy out myself, but 99% of all guys that ask me out will get a no, unless I'm practically in love with them first. So, someone I'm secretly in love with has to ask me out. Basically, I'm waiting for a miracle.
> 
> Omg, I am so screwed.


Hee-hee... :lol this is so much like me. I just don't even want to give anyone a chance unless he's _someone in particular_. But, it's okay; I'm not really wanting to be with someone at this time. I'd make such a horrid girlfriend...


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## binckie (Dec 4, 2015)

LonleyBoy15 said:


> Im 16, and ive just been waitng for a girl that fits my liking to approach me..
> 
> So do girls approach guys? or should the guy approach the giirls.
> 
> ...


Unless you are some sort of topmodel or very rich: it will hardly ever happen that a girl approaches you or makes the first move.


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

When this thread was created, the OP was 16 years old. Now he is 25.


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## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

Evo1114 said:


> When this thread was created, the OP was 16 years old. Now he is 25.


Hahaha

OP corpse.


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