# A girl gave me her number.... i don't know of this was good or bad :S



## max87 (Aug 7, 2010)

Ok. So a friend of mine introduced me to a girl that o be honest i don't really care about. He was insisting in the fact that i should ask her number.
I don't think she did anything for me but i thought i might not become her boyfriend but at least i can have a new friend right?
So i went to class today and my friend was with her so i went and after a few words i decided to ask her for her number which she reluctantly gave me. 
I am a bit paranoid because after that i was encouraged by a few oher classmates to send her a message which i did but she never answered back, making me think she gave me a false number.
I don't know how to feel about this. It's a bittersweet feeling. 
I was able to ask someone else's number but i don't think she wanted to give it to me or something like that, maybe my lack of experience made me rush things?


----------



## droen (Jul 27, 2010)

I've had this happen to me recently. It was someone who thought I was attractive but didn't speak with me very often. I decided to ask for her number since we didn't have much of a chance to talk in or after class. She acted so awkward and tried to make excuses for not giving me her number that when she finally decided to give it to me, I had to decline because she seemed so darn uncomfortable giving me her number which made me uncomfortable taking it. I talked to her the next week about it and she said that I kinda "put her on the spot". Whatever that means.

So back to your situation; she could be just terribly shy or caught off guard by you suddenly asking for her number. I don't know. It's all very weird to me. Maybe both of us are just really socially inept and we're missing something here. lol


----------



## max87 (Aug 7, 2010)

droen said:


> I've had this happen to me recently. It was someone who thought I was attractive but didn't speak with me very often. I decided to ask for her number since we didn't have much of a chance to talk in or after class. She acted so awkward and tried to make excuses for not giving me her number that when she finally decided to give it to me, I had to decline because she seemed so darn uncomfortable giving me her number which made me uncomfortable taking it. I talked to her the next week about it and she said that I kinda "put her on the spot". Whatever that means.
> 
> So back to your situation; she could be just terribly shy or caught off guard by you suddenly asking for her number. I don't know. It's all very weird to me. Maybe both of us are just really socially inept and we're missing something here. lol


I'm sure she isn't "terribly shy" believe me , i would know because i am terribly shy!. She just didn't seem to be ok with the fact that our mutual friend introduced us. About being really social inepts, i guess most of us here on S.A.S. are


----------



## Tom90 (Mar 28, 2012)

max87 said:


> Ok. So a friend of mine introduced me to a girl that o be honest i don't really care about. He was insisting in the fact that i should ask her number.
> I don't think she did anything for me but i thought i might not become her boyfriend but at least i can have a new friend right?
> So i went to class today and my friend was with her so i went and after a few words i decided to ask her for her number which she reluctantly gave me.
> I am a bit paranoid because after that i was encouraged by a few oher classmates to send her a message which i did but she never answered back, making me think she gave me a false number.
> ...





droen said:


> I've had this happen to me recently. It was someone who thought I was attractive but didn't speak with me very often. I decided to ask for her number since we didn't have much of a chance to talk in or after class. She acted so awkward and tried to make excuses for not giving me her number that when she finally decided to give it to me, I had to decline because she seemed so darn uncomfortable giving me her number which made me uncomfortable taking it. I talked to her the next week about it and she said that I kinda "put her on the spot". Whatever that means.
> 
> So back to your situation; she could be just terribly shy or caught off guard by you suddenly asking for her number. I don't know. It's all very weird to me. Maybe both of us are just really socially inept and we're missing something here. lol


I'll tell both of you from experience i had before my anxiety and until now that if you do ask for a girls number and she gets awkward in a weird way like she starts looking around and getting avoidant and quiet then forget it at this point your embarassing yourself.
Make some random excuse and leave because when the excuses roll in like "oh i forgot my number" or "I dont have texting" or "let me take your number i dont know mine". Thats when you walk away turn around and say "**** YOU". Thats all it is.
If she wants to give you her number she will atleast flirt first if she seems bored than your not getting her number walk away. Also dont take their niceness as a good sign many feel bad for us and will act super nice. You dont need that you either end up in friend zone equivalent to the gay friend zone where she shares every detail of her life including guys but wont think twice of dating you. Use your detective skills and look for signs before taking her number.
Also from what you wrote it sounds like your friend just wanted to give the class something to laugh about or maybe get even with the girl for something she did to him by putting her in an awkward situation.
Im just speaking truthfully but it sounds like the guy used you because he found it amusing having you randomly ask his friend who is a girl for her number especially if he already knows your awkward.


----------



## max87 (Aug 7, 2010)

Tom90 said:


> I'll tell both of you from experience i had before my anxiety and until now that if you do ask for a girls number and she gets awkward in a weird way like she starts looking around and getting avoidant and quiet then forget it at this point your embarassing yourself.
> Make some random excuse and leave because when the excuses roll in like "oh i forgot my number" or "I dont have texting" or "let me take your number i dont know mine". Thats when you walk away turn around and say "**** YOU". Thats all it is.
> If she wants to give you her number she will atleast flirt first if she seems bored than your not getting her number walk away. Also dont take their niceness as a good sign many feel bad for us and will act super nice. You dont need that you either end up in friend zone equivalent to the gay friend zone where she shares every detail of her life including guys but wont think twice of dating you. Use your detective skills and look for signs before taking her number.
> Also from what you wrote it sounds like your friend just wanted to give the class something to laugh about or maybe get even with the girl for something she did to him by putting her in an awkward situation.
> Im just speaking truthfully but it sounds like the guy used you because he found it amusing having you randomly ask his friend who is a girl for her number especially if he already knows your awkward.


I was already thinking about this. But my therapist tells me to stop the negative thoughts as soon as they come out and i did that. 
I just told myself that i couldn't possibly know what this was about and if something like a friendship came out well, that was good for me, i have no interest whatsoever in this girl. 
I told this guy that and he was OK with it.
Now i believe what you say. I have to discuss this in therapy on my next session. 
I've been quite hurt in that department and refrained myself from having a relationship through out my life. I'm 26 and i've never had a g.f.
I sound pathetic i know. I just dont know what i want.


----------



## Tom90 (Mar 28, 2012)

max87 said:


> I was already thinking about this. But my therapist tells me to stop the negative thoughts as soon as they come out and i did that.
> I just told myself that i couldn't possibly know what this was about and if something like a friendship came out well, that was good for me, i have no interest whatsoever in this girl.
> I told this guy that and he was OK with it.
> Now i believe what you say. I have to discuss this in therapy on my next session.
> ...


Im not telling you to be negative always, im just saying be socially aware and look for signs. Therapy is great but your therapist doesnt seem to have that much social skill for people your age level maybe he does for older people in their 40s 50s.


----------

