# Becoming an atheist is what caused my severe anxiety!



## amber89 (Jan 7, 2016)

I was so blissfully ignorant as a Hindu. I wish I never stopped believing in God. Then one day I started doing research and actually thinking for myself and realized God doesnt exist, i havent been able to cope since that day. Knowing that after death there is nothing is terrifying! How do you all live so peacefully being atheist?
I wish i could believe in God again.

It also started a stream of thoughts that became very extreme, ofcourse i was labelled as borderline personality. I started thinking if there was no god, then i had to be someone famous to be remembered as my legacy would be the only way to live on. Then I started thinking i needed to have lots of money so I could buy immortality if it came to that point in the future when we found a 'cure' to death, i wanted to make sure i had money to get it. It is very possible, but those goals were so extreme they ruined my life, the pressure to be someone famous ruined me and now im so anxious i can barely leave the house..funny how crazy these thoughts sound, yet i still believe them. We are all going to die and be nothing. So wouldnt you do anything humanly possible to avoid that? If in the future they found a way to live forever, lets say your brain frozen or put onto a machine of some sort, wouldnt you want to do it, if the only other option was to be dead?

Sometimes i think knowledge screwed me over, i just want to be a hindu praying to 20000 Gods again.0


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

We're finite, in both space and time. But we won't _be_ nothing. The horrifying thing about imagining not existing is imagining an experience of a void, but there won't be any experience. The times in which we don't live (past and future) are like the spaces we don't occupy, they're simply not part of our experience.

At any rate, remember that you handled not being alive for nearly 14 billion years already. Can't have been that bad.

As for doing anything possible to not die... well, I don't eat healthy or exercise as much as I should or get checkups, so apparently I'm not very invested in living longer if it's not convenient.


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)




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## Tetragammon (Jun 2, 2015)

That's funny, because being Christian caused my severe anxiety. I mean seriously, all those pointless rules about what you can or can't do, and if you don't measure up then you're going to hell to burn forever. Wow. I always felt like I could never be good enough, that I was going to hell no matter what I did, that God hated me because I couldn't experience anything even remotely spiritual.

Atheism literally saved my life, and both my anxiety and depression have subsided considerably since I embraced it. The likelihood that there is no god or afterlife just makes me really savor every day of this life all the more. And when this life ends you literally won't be capable of worrying or regretting or feeling anything else. Death is just a part of life and it'll happen whether you like it or not. No need to fret over the inevitable.


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## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

Start believing in God again lol


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## Kilgore Trout (Aug 10, 2014)

Both are bad. I felt less anxious and depressed when I was religious though. Not because of afterlife, nonexistence is a bliss. Because when you are religious you think maybe there is a reason behind all this suffering in the world, maybe the guilty will pay for their sins one day. But when you are an atheist you have to live with the fact that people have suffered, and will suffer, gravely, forever, for no reason at all and those who make others suffer live happily and will never pay for what they have done. Quite sad and irritating.


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## amber89 (Jan 7, 2016)

I really expected a more educated debate or discussion on my issue then "believe in god then" or "how can you be sure there is no god"/ Irritates me.
I dont CHOOSE to be atheist, I happened to be smart and educate myself, which led to me ruining my life, i would love to believe in god, unless i can get amnesia it will never happen.

ANYWAYS, i think you all havent thought hard enough about that fact that we will no longer exist, for billions trillions of years, we will be nothing...so if there was nothingness on one end of the scale, and a slight chance at immortality on the other, the sane person will always choose immortality, and so began my chase for immortality and my social anxiety demise.\feeling like its the purpose of my life

I think with science the way its advancing, maybe in our lifetime or in our childrens, we will get to a point of immortality, and itll be a question of who can afford it and who cant.


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## doe deer (Oct 9, 2016)

i think the sane person would choose nothingness instead of immortality. yeah someone can make an argument that life is a never ending cycle and our energies are always here and whatnot but imagine living one life forever, imagine all the good and bad experiences that would be a part of just that one life. a mind would be extremely worn down by having that many experiences. how much would that be to bear? i'd never want it.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

Atheism is one of the few things that keeps me sane. To me, nothing seems more oppressive and discouraging than the idea that there is one correct way to live, that someone else has decided that for me, and that people who don't live that way will be punished. No one has the right to tell me how I should think or feel about things. I thank God every day I'm not religious. There's no freedom in religion, only slavery.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

amber89 said:


> I dont CHOOSE to be atheist, I happened to be smart and educate myself, which led to me ruining my life, i would love to believe in god, unless i can get amnesia it will never happen.


Then you have no choice, you have to be atheist and accept you will eventually die.

There is no reason why being atheist should cause you this much misery, being atheist might have led to this revelation, but it isn't the cause of it. It is _a_ cause of it, but not *the* cause (things always have multiple causes). It doesn't necessarily follow. I have always been atheist and never struggled significantly with any of this, so there must be other causation in your case. My guess is that you haven't really yet accepted the _impossibility_ of immortality.



amber89 said:


> ANYWAYS, i think you all havent thought hard enough about that fact that we will no longer exist, for billions trillions of years, we will be nothing...so if there was nothingness on one end of the scale, and a slight chance at immortality on the other, the sane person will always choose immortality, and so began my chase for immortality and my social anxiety demise.\feeling like its the purpose of my life


Oh we have 

It just makes zero difference what we believe as to whether we have immortality or not. Immortality is impossible at the current time, it simply isn't on the cards. Makes no difference how many gods you believe in, or what you do, or what you believe, _immortality isn't going to happen_. A religious person doesn't get a chance at immortality on account that they believe, they will die just like everyone else (if you don't believe in an afterlife). The chance of immortality is 0% across the board. What you believe is totally irrelevant as to whether you will actually get immortality, and I think you just need to fully accept this. This is atheism. There is no afterlife or immortality, being atheist or religious is in itself completely irrelevant to the question of immortality.

I really want to have giant mechanical giant spider legs and be a billionaire. How much time do I spend making myself miserable about not having these things? As much time as I spend pining after immortality (none). When you truly accept something is impossible it just becomes an absurdity to waste time on it.

I am not saying this to be cruel or anything. On the contrary, I think that accepting the reality of the situation, _truly_ accepting it, is how you end up being able to deal with it. When you accept it as completely inevitable, then you can let it go.

If you want something more uplifting though, @Paul's answer is a good one. Sure it isn't uplifting in a deceptive religious kind of way (you do get to live forever), but its totally correct. The dead don't care about being dead, they don't have brains so they have no apparatus with which to care 

*edit, I just read this back and it probably isn't very helpful - apologies if it has made things worse.


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## Virgo (Jun 27, 2016)

Hi (weeks later), I'm sorry to hear that. Ignorance is bliss. You're right, it's not a choice, it's simply realizing that atheism makes the most logical sense and then never being able to go back from that. I think gradually over time you'll learn to accept that. Paul's answer is good. You won't actually realize you stopped existing because you won't exist.

Though, you can at this point lean more towards the atheist-agnostic point-of-view where you believe there is no God and nothing can possibly happen after death, but not claim to know this for sure, because no one actually knows. I'm more of this, it doesn't make that big of a difference. But then there's still that one aspect of realizing no one actually knows? Because I sure hope I'm wrong.



amber89 said:


> ANYWAYS, i think you all havent thought hard enough about that fact that we will no longer exist, for billions trillions of years, we will be nothing...


All atheists realize this. It really is just a matter that some people aren't as bothered by it, not that if we aren't terrified to death (no pun intended) then that _must_ mean we haven't though about it hard enough. I don't doubt that you are having a difficult time with this. Personally I wasn't ever religious so I'm not abruptly transitioning from one belief to another. But for me, even dealing with significant deaths in my life and realizing that they just went, well, nowhere... I just accept it. (that doesn't mean it isn't tremendously difficult to go through, that I don't miss them every single day, etc...)

I think you need to just give yourself more time, that's all. To accept something radically different from what you believed before is a huge process. How recent is this?


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## nesc (Apr 12, 2017)

I didn't expect to find an Agnostic and Atheist subforum here. A pleasant surprise, however.

Having been a follower of the Religion of Peace™, I lost my faith over two years ago. I can sort of relate with the OP. The problem I have is that I'm a closeted atheist. Pretending to be religious is no fun (except it's cool in a crazy way how I outwardly appear like I'm your average deluded religious person, yet I detest religion inside.) Anyway, more to the point, I think I've have had a mild form of anxiety for a fair number of years, but it has worsened over the recent year or so. I think praying, although most of the time it was a half-hearted attempt on my part because I didn't _truly_ live in fairyland, was perhaps a rather calming activity. And being an atheist pretending to be a religious person probably has to fudge one's mind up to a certain extent. :')


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## Kuse (Feb 15, 2017)

nesc said:


> I didn't expect to find an Agnostic and Atheist subforum here. A pleasant surprise, however.
> 
> Having been a follower of the Religion of Peace™, I lost my faith over two years ago. I can sort of relate with the OP. The problem I have is that I'm a closeted atheist. Pretending to be religious is no fun (except it's cool in a crazy way how I outwardly appear like I'm your average deluded religious person, yet I detest religion inside.) Anyway, more to the point, I think I've have had a mild form of anxiety for a fair number of years, but it has worsened over the recent year or so. I think praying, although most of the time it was a half-hearted attempt on my part because I didn't _truly_ live in fairyland, was perhaps a rather calming activity. And being an atheist pretending to be a religious person probably has to fudge one's mind up to a certain extent. :')


I am a life long atheist and always will be. My mum and dad always said you can believe in whatever you want to. I will never go to church, but at least you are socializing.


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## googleamiable (Jun 5, 2009)

nesc said:


> I didn't expect to find an Agnostic and Atheist subforum here. A pleasant surprise, however.
> 
> Having been a follower of the Religion of Peace™, I lost my faith over two years ago. I can sort of relate with the OP. The problem I have is that I'm a closeted atheist. Pretending to be religious is no fun (except it's cool in a crazy way how I outwardly appear like I'm your average deluded religious person, yet I detest religion inside.) Anyway, more to the point, I think I've have had a mild form of anxiety for a fair number of years, but it has worsened over the recent year or so. I think praying, although most of the time it was a half-hearted attempt on my part because I didn't _truly_ live in fairyland, was perhaps a rather calming activity. And being an atheist pretending to be a religious person probably has to fudge one's mind up to a certain extent. :')


where did you grow up, and are you a closet atheist because it's dangerous to announce that you have stopped believing?


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

Actually, few things are more unnerving to me than the thought that death won't be 'the end'. Part of my brain has difficulty imagining a final end, there's always the irrational fear that my consciousness will be reborn or something,. But it makes no sense, of course. As animals, we're just not designed to be aware of our own mortality so it's hard to imagine a permanent state without brain activity or sensory input. I guess the closest thing is if you wake up without remembering any dreams. As far as you're concerned, the last thing you remember after falling a sleep is a brief moment of complete sensory deprivation. If it's like that after death, that's the best possible outcome as far as I'm concerned. No senses + no emotion = no pain.


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## tkCal (Apr 21, 2017)

One of the best things for me to come to grips with was that life isn't necessarily fair, life on earth is what we make it, and that is okay. It’s empowering, and helped me begin to overcome my crippling anxiety. I’ve come to feel my atheism is a gift that has made me stronger and more accountable to myself and the world. I don’t push it on others. Sometimes, though, I am ridiculed for it. 

I was never really a believer, though. I greatly respect anyone who has the strength to challenge anything they have learned as a child and seek new answers, even if those answers confirm their faith. It’s very tough to do, but if you don’t question what you were taught at a young age, how do you ever know if your belief is real?

The idea that people die and watch over you disturbs me. I happen to have both a cousin and a sister who cannot get over the death of their parents, even a decade later. They both think their parents are in heaven seeing their mistakes. They both wonder why their parents aren’t coming to them in visions or dreams. It’s a crippling source of pain and long-term depression. I do not envy their belief. I’m not saying it is like that for all people, of course, but I think I have done better in accepting the loss of my parents because I know they are just gone and there will never be resolution (Sis and I had a very complicated and painful relationship with our parents. She is still seeking answers. I want them too, but I know they will never come so I don’t think about it much anymore). There is peace in accepting finality. 

I don’t know who is right, only that what I believe (or do not) isn’t a choice.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Paul said:


> We're finite, in both space and time. But we won't _be_ nothing. The horrifying thing about imagining not existing is imagining an experience of a void, but there won't be any experience. The times in which we don't live (past and future) are like the spaces we don't occupy, they're simply not part of our experience.
> 
> *At any rate, remember that you handled not being alive for nearly 14 billion years already. Can't have been that bad.*
> 
> As for doing anything possible to not die... well, I don't eat healthy or exercise as much as I should or get checkups, so apparently I'm not very invested in living longer if it's not convenient.


That's a good point.

It is scary thinking about not being around anymore. But sometimes I think to myself that other people have very similar feelings and thoughts as I do, so I will live on sort of......not reincarnation but you get the gist.


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## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

Well first of all, there is a good amount of chance that some form of God exists. I mean, look around us at the universe we live in, it seems to be intelligently designed. Of course it is also posible that evolution designed our universe. But when you realise that there is a decent amount of probability that some form of afterlife may exist, then that can help you to feel much better. If we do end up going to heaven when we die then thats great, if there is no afterlife when we die then thats great to because we can spend the rest of eternity just resting in peace with no more stupid problems. Also just accept things for the way they are, appreciate life and live day to day. Each day that comes is not a right, but a privallege. Think of it like you are managing to win each day of existence from some kind of lottery. And make the most out of your days and just focus on the now, rather than the future. Enjoy your life one moment at a time and eventually time will tell whether or not we are gonna spend the rest of eternity in some kind of afterlife or peacefully away from all our problems forever.


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## CNikki (Aug 9, 2013)

To some extent, I can understand where you're coming from. It took me from the watered-down version of Christianity, to the 'origins' (being the Old Testament) up until I started to question my own humanity and how I was going to decide on living. Especially since Judaism/Christianity have pagan roots to them, it's hard to see it in the similar way I intended in order to find an "escape from damnation." What kind of God would it be if they had all the fallacies of human nature only to have humans themselves try to "correct" themselves or else they are outcasts, or even worse, killed? And, depending on the section of Christianity you believe in, being sent to some fiery place for the rest of eternity?

I'm hoping that if there is something, it's something that makes sense out of any and all dimensions we're in and that it's ultimately full of love. So long as the person doesn't inflict their life onto others to the point genocide is created, they can believe whichever way they choose as to what sense of purpose life is for them.


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## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

The great thing about death is that when you die, you wont even notice it. Its like while you are alive you are existing forever, but when you die you just disapear into a world of peace and serenity.


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## Midnight Fool (Nov 15, 2015)

Life just is what it is. When my intelligence began to overcome my faith I really spiraled downward. I was never popular, and respecting other people just got me used by them and then they'd step over me on their way to the top. Back when I was young all the cheating and hatefulness in the world didn't bother me because I was striving to be a good person and my god could see that. So in the end suffering in life didn't matter.

But when I realized religion didn't make any sense, I realized nothing I do matters. Being a good person meant nothing. Nobody was watching me from behind the scenes. I wasn't earning myself the merit badge of "a good life". I was just a bug running in circles at the bottom of a glass jar. I wasn't going anywhere and my time being able to live my life and do something with it was running out.

I never grew out of being respectful of other people to the point of self-sacrifice, though. Despite my personality souring to the point of social sewage. I still help those who don't deserve it. I still get used. And I still watch people step over me and make their way towards their goals while I'm still just a little bug in a jar going nowhere.

I haven't necessarily made peace with it all, yet. I'm obviously still struggling with the fact that I'm living the rest of my life right now. I won't make any progress in life because in order to make progress, I am expected to have already made progress to begin with. I'm too old to start dating and I'm not attracted to women with more dating experience than me. So I'll never have a family. I've not had a stable job through my entire lifetime and I'm currently living on the minimum through disability. I have no skills and my drive to try when I have failed so many times is completely spent. My health is starting to decline pretty rapidly over these past few years due to diabetes complications, dental issues, and failing eyesight. And I have no drive to push to improve any of it because I see no point in prolonging a life of nothingness.

But in the end, it won't be about who I became, or what I did to be remembered in the world. I'm not special. I won't make a difference in the world. And when I die I'll be forgotten. But that doesn't mean I did nothing while I was alive. If death is meaningless and there isn't life after death, then all you can do is live. Were the people around you happy with you? Did your family love you? Even something like giving your pet a happy life. Or even caring for a plant. Did something, anything, you did effect another life in a positive way?

Life is a mass of experiences, and there are bad ones and good ones. And all we can do is pass them between ourselves while we wait out our lifespans. Might as well contribute to the good ones and be content with knowing you did good for the sake of just doing it so this world isn't just a miserable toilet filled with hate. We're on a tiny little speck flying around a tiny little fireball in a seemingly endless void of empty space. If we get caught up in how we matter, we're going to be disappointed. We are what we are. Little flickers of existence in a universe we really don't know anything about. And while that makes out world extremely small and pretty much meaningless in whatever chaotic mess is going on, it doesn't mean we should just lay down and forget about even existing.

I don't know where else I planned on going with this. I'm gonna drink the rest of my tea now.


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