# To da ladies in da houuuse..



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

How many dates before you have sex with a guy (or at least more than making out..if ya know what I mean )? Assume that you are attracted to the guy (or girl for the lesbians) and you seem to have a connection with him (or at least as much of a connection as your SA will allow).


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

I hope it's plenty of dates....I'd rather get to know the lady first.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

BobtheSaint:1059744269 said:


> I hope it's plenty of dates....I'd rather get to know the lady first.


You sir.....I have no words.


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## Daft (Jan 5, 2012)

Going steady.


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## Radiata (Aug 1, 2011)

A... Veeeeeery long time. 
I rushed into sex with my 2nd boyfriend, and I've never even liked sex very much from the beginning (for personal reasons). It made me absolutely miserable. 
With my first bf, we'd been dating for an year and a half before we so much went beyond kissing each other on the cheek. Patient guy!


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

A woman, being an adult who makes her own decisions and doesn't have any hang ups about sex (most women), will have sex with you very fast depending on chemistry. If there is chemistry and flirtation, you can have sex with a girl the first night. A lot of the time the girl wants to have sex with you as much as you her but she's waiting for you to make the moves as a man.

There are obvious signs a woman is into you and you'll know when she is. Basically, if she's into you and you notice it then you can have sex with her that night if you pursue it. As a guy in our society, you have to be comfortable with it as well and go for it if that is your intention because if you don't then it may not happen.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

bwidger85:1059744361 said:


> A woman, being an adult who makes her own decisions and doesn't have any hang ups about sex (most women), will have sex with you very fast depending on chemistry. If there is chemistry and flirtation, you can have sex with a girl the first night. A lot of the time the girl wants to have sex with you as much as you her but she's waiting for you to make the moves as a man.
> 
> There are obvious signs a woman is into you and you'll know when she is. Basically, if she's into you and you notice it then you can have sex with her that night if you pursue it. As a guy in our society, you have to be comfortable with it as well and go for it if that is your intention because if you don't then it may not happen.


Thank you for the lesson, professor. But I was more looking for what the ladies on this forum in particular have to say about the subject.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

I think this forum wouldnt be the best to ask for advices on such a topic.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

rdrr:1059744378 said:


> I think this forum wouldnt be the best to ask for advices on such a topic.


No one is asking for advice.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

rymo said:


> No one is asking for advice.


I said advices, but you are right. Maybe some female on this forum who has experienced what you are asking about can oblige. Good luck with procuring sexual relations with girls as early as possible.


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

It depends on the lady and her personality. Every lady is different, laddie


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Radiata is the only one who answered my question...thank you Radiata.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

rdrr:1059744406 said:


> rymo said:
> 
> 
> > No one is asking for advice.
> ...


I'm not trying to but thanks anyway.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

rymo said:


> Thank you for the lesson, professor. But I was more looking for what the ladies on this forum in particular have to say about the subject.


ok then,. ask your mom, son

*******


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

bwidger85:1059744475 said:


> rymo said:
> 
> 
> > Thank you for the lesson, professor. But I was more looking for what the ladies on this forum in particular have to say about the subject.
> ...


You're cute when you're angry 

Anyways, all I asked were the girls on the forum to share their thoughts on when they usually will have sex when they're dating someone. I have no clue when this turned into me asking for advice.


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## Sadr00008 (Mar 9, 2012)

it depends, I usually have sex with my dates after 3 dates.


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## Innamorata (Sep 20, 2011)

When we're in a serious relationship.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

rymo said:


> You're cute when you're angry
> 
> Anyways, all I asked were the girls on the forum to share their thoughts on when they usually will have sex when they're dating someone. I have no clue when this turned into me asking for advice.


Idk, but it's an open forum. I didn't mean to offend you, and obviously what I say means little to you, so my bad. Just tryna give my perspective and you just decided to be an *** about it... it's all good though. I'm just saying if you have that connection with a girl you can have sex with her relatively fast but that's just what i've read, seen and experienced. The women here can obviously answer from their own perspectives.

*edit
I'm not advocating taking advantage of women because obviously the girl will have sex with you because she also wants to. If she doesn't want it then she doesn't want it but when the pieces are there and early on then chances are good if you go for it


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

bwidger85:1059744613 said:


> Idk, but it's an open forum. I didn't mean to offend you, and obviously what I say means little to you, so my bad. Just tryna give my perspective and you just decided to be an *** about it... it's all good though. I'm just saying if you have that connection with a girl you can have sex with her relatively fast but that's just what i've read, seen and experienced. The women here can obviously answer from their own perspectives.
> 
> *edit
> I'm not advocating taking advantage of women because obviously the girl will have sex with you because she also wants to. If she doesn't want it then she doesn't want it but when the pieces are there and early on then chances are good if you go for it


I've also experienced that and therefore completely agree with you


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

rymo said:


> I've also experienced that and therefore completely agree with you


 cool man


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

A little over a week or two, I think. But, I've never dated in the traditional sense and with my current relationship, we spent nearly every moment of those two weeks together since we were both unemployed at the time and it was the holidays and junk.


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## northstar1991 (Oct 4, 2011)

For a long time. I'd rather get to know the guy really well first.


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## missalyssa (Jun 18, 2011)

My rule is try for 3 dates before sex.. Its sometimes soooo hard if you have good chemistry, but I always stick to my guns !


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

I think it'd depend on the guy, and how I'm feeling in the moment.
With my ex, it took about 3 dates and I don't think I would've been comfortable if we had had sex before then.
Because my SA is absolutely awful, I can only really imagine myself dating someone I've met online first (at the moment). If we had been talking for a while online and we had good chemistry in person, I would probably be willing to have sex on the first date.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

A long time. Like...10 dates or something. It takes me a long time to feel comfortable.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

Perfectionist said:


> A long time. Like...10 dates or something. It takes me a long time to feel comfortable.


10 dates? Inconceivable!


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Perfectionist said:


> *A long time. Like...10 dates or something*. It takes me a long time to feel comfortable.


Sounds fine to me...


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

Waiting two or three months also gives me time to lose weight before he sees me naked.

It's not the main reason, but it's a close second.


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## Xtraneous (Oct 18, 2011)

Buss downs. Mm.


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## StayingMotivated (Sep 5, 2011)

psshhhhhh at least 4826384 dates duhhhh

it depends on the situation and person


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## KelsKels (Oct 4, 2011)

Eh I like to take it slow. Took me six months to be comfortable with it with my boyfriend.


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## roseblood (Mar 1, 2010)

I have to agree with the other ladies, It would be months.


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

It takes months for me to develop even a simple (non-romantic) friendship. So for something like this, I would say several months for me. But who am I kidding, I've never gotten laid...no wonder, right? Ha


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## Downwiththesickness (Nov 13, 2010)

I dont know, I have no set rule, t it would depend on how comfortable you are, one guy it was on the 3rd time we saw each other (it was hard not to as I had to stay at his house the night) but another guy i liked more I had to wait till the 10th date cuz he wouldn't make a move, it was worth the wait though, it made it more exciting.


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## RiversEdge (Aug 21, 2011)

After how many dates???? 
I honestly prefer to be in a relationship to have sex with someone. 

When I think of dates, it's like...how can you even really know
someone that well...


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

RiversEdge said:


> After how many dates????
> I honestly prefer to be in a relationship to have sex with someone.
> 
> When I think of dates, it's like...how can you even really know
> someone that well...


On the flip side, how can you know you are sexually compatible with someone unless you try it?


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## RiversEdge (Aug 21, 2011)

rymo said:


> On the flip side, how can you know you are sexually compatible with someone unless you try it?


Being sexually compatible is a HUGE importance to me
-- sex is a big thing to me.....but before you enter a relationship - you spend time together - get to know eachother...you talk about these things, right?
That's why you enter a relationship rather than date - because you find compatibility in different areas.

...besides, something this good can't be just given away that easily for
a date..psh.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

It would take a few months for me to get to know the guy better before he could ask me out. One time there was this guy who I've never even spoken to and right away he wanted to date me. I don't roll that way. It takes a lot for me to get to know who someone really is before dating them. Ofcourse no kissing on the first date either and as for the sex part....if we have been together as a couple for more than two years, and their is a strong love between us, then yes. I have boundaries and I'm okay with that.


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## RiversEdge (Aug 21, 2011)

^^^ 2 YEARS!!???? 

lol...that's a LONG time to wait. When I said be in a relationship...it's SO ON when
we enter that relationship!! 
My sex drive is TOO MUCH to wait that long.


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

I would say it takes a long time if you're in a relationship. If you're just looking for casual sex then of course, there are people that would 'do it' the first night. Sounds like you're looking for the latter.


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## Wacky Wednesdays (Apr 10, 2011)

If I'm just after a one nighter, I'd do them on the first date but if I'm looking to get to know them on a personal level, I'd wait for a bit.
Once I've had sex with someone, I get really bored and if we don't gel, personality wise (no matter how good looking) then I cbf going any further.


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

I have to be dating the person, and not for only a short while


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

sanria22 said:


> I would say it takes a long time if you're in a relationship. If you're just looking for casual sex then of course, there are people that would 'do it' the first night. Sounds like you're looking for the latter.


Yes, that's what I'm looking for. That's why I made this topic, to score on the first night.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

rymo said:


> You sir.....I have no words.


 :teeth


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

bwidger85 said:


> A woman, being an adult who makes her own decisions and doesn't have any hang ups about sex (most women), will have sex with you very fast depending on chemistry. If there is chemistry and flirtation, you can have sex with a girl the first night. A lot of the time the girl wants to have sex with you as much as you her but she's waiting for you to make the moves as a man.
> 
> There are obvious signs a woman is into you and you'll know when she is. Basically, if she's into you and you notice it then you can have sex with her that night if you pursue it. As a guy in our society, you have to be comfortable with it as well and go for it if that is your intention because if you don't then it may not happen.


Very true.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

rymo said:


> You sir.....I have no words.





srschirm said:


> :teeth


Lol, I'm just a patient man.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

I wouldn't know. I've only ever dated one guy. Buy he tried to have sex with me the first or second time I went to his house ^^; it's all a blurr now, was kinda drunk too xD. With someone else though... would take me a long time to get comfortable with them...


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

so to summarize.... girls generally have sex somewhere between 0 to 1,000,000,000 days after the first date.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Lol yes it's true. It's interesting to see the difference between women. Where some would have sex on the first to third date, others take a very long time (in my eyes anyway) to become comfortable. For me, sexual compatibility is something that's very important for a relationship...and for the relationship to ever develop into just that, I would have to have sex with the girl fairly early on. Without that level of affection and seeing if we click in the bedroom, I would never allow myself to vulnerable enough to fall for that girl. I'm not saying it has to be within the first three dates, but any more than 2-3 weeks of going out and I would have a tough time continuing to date that girl (with exceptions, I'm sure). 

I understand how some girls need to feel super comfortable though, because a lot of guys are creeps and will just hit it and quit it, and the girl just ends up feeling regretful, especially if they really liked the guy. So to me...waiting a bit could definitely work to a girl's advantage, but over a few months seems a bit excessive to me.


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## Ashley1990 (Aug 27, 2011)

I would ask him to marry me first:idea


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

4 dates in no sex......but it could be soon :clap


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Janniffy said:


> 4 dates in no sex......but it could be soon :clap


lol @ small text :b


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

rymo said:


> Lol yes it's true. It's interesting to see the difference between women. Where some would have sex on the first to third date, others take a very long time (in my eyes anyway) to become comfortable. For me, sexual compatibility is something that's very important for a relationship...and for the relationship to ever develop into just that, I would have to have sex with the girl fairly early on. Without that level of affection and seeing if we click in the bedroom, I would never allow myself to vulnerable enough to fall for that girl. I'm not saying it has to be within the first three dates, but any more than 2-3 weeks of going out and I would have a tough time continuing to date that girl (with exceptions, I'm sure).
> 
> I understand how some girls need to feel super comfortable though, because a lot of guys are creeps and will just hit it and quit it, and the girl just ends up feeling regretful, especially if they really liked the guy. So to me...waiting a bit could definitely work to a girl's advantage, but over a few months seems a bit excessive to me.


A lot of it depends on the goals of the couple as well. For instance, if they both just want to have sex for pleasure without seeking a long term relationship then I see no reason why there should be any date 2's, 3's, etc. if that's not what they want. Obviously, being upfront about your intentions are good in this instance so there is no confusion or heartache in the end.

On the opposite end, if seeking long term, or even if your looking to date for a while, then in my mind prolonging sex past 5 dates seems a little risky considering if sex is important in your relationship. Honestly, as a guy, I'm not so sure how her "performance" would matter if I'm physically attracted to her. I'm also not that experienced in relationships so it is hard for me to say the full impact of sex on a relationship; although, I would imagine it to be great. I know chemistry in general is HUGE, and I would think sex would be too.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

rymo said:


> Lol yes it's true. It's interesting to see the difference between women. Where some would have sex on the first to third date, others take a very long time (in my eyes anyway) to become comfortable. For me, sexual compatibility is something that's very important for a relationship...and for the relationship to ever develop into just that, I would have to have sex with the girl fairly early on. Without that level of affection and seeing if we click in the bedroom, I would never allow myself to vulnerable enough to fall for that girl. I'm not saying it has to be within the first three dates, but any more than 2-3 weeks of going out and I would have a tough time continuing to date that girl (with exceptions, I'm sure).
> 
> I understand how some girls need to feel super comfortable though, because a lot of guys are creeps and will just hit it and quit it, and the girl just ends up feeling regretful, especially if they really liked the guy. So to me...waiting a bit could definitely work to a girl's advantage, but over a few months seems a bit excessive to me.


Yeah it pretty much needs to be soon for me too. Otherwise I'll think the girl doesn't like sex or is cold. My worst nightmare is getting stuck with a girl who doesn't like sex.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

hyejan:1059753207 said:


> i dont do dates but after a few weeks/a month of chemistry n take from there sex leads to relationship no?


English?


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## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

What moves or gestures do you ladies do as a hint that you want to jump on it?


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

rymo said:


> Lol yes it's true. It's interesting to see the difference between women. Where some would have sex on the first to third date, others take a very long time (in my eyes anyway) to become comfortable. For me, sexual compatibility is something that's very important for a relationship...and for the relationship to ever develop into just that, I would have to have sex with the girl fairly early on. Without that level of affection and seeing if we click in the bedroom, I would never allow myself to vulnerable enough to fall for that girl. I'm not saying it has to be within the first three dates, but any more than 2-3 weeks of going out and I would have a tough time continuing to date that girl (with exceptions, I'm sure).
> 
> I understand how some girls need to feel super comfortable though, because a lot of guys are creeps and will just hit it and quit it, and the girl just ends up feeling regretful, especially if they really liked the guy. So to me...waiting a bit could definitely work to a girl's advantage, but over a few months seems a bit excessive to me.


At least you're honest and know what's right for you. We're all different. Good luck


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

Because I lack experience in "this field," I wouldn't feel comfortable having sex with a guy after a date or two. I would most likely wait at least a couple of months before I finally slept with him. But it's hard to come up with an arbitrary number because I might feel comfortable with the guy after a few dates, or it might take me forever.

I don't think I'd be able to have a one-night stand or sex after two dates with a guy even if I *did* have experience, but mostly for safety reasons. I'd be putting myself in a physically vulnerable position and I'd be too scared of the "what if's" in the situation.

Regardless of how long I wait, though, I'll probably want to sleep with him from the first date. I just won't.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

AllToAll said:


> Because I lack experience in "this field," I wouldn't feel comfortable having sex with a guy after a date or two. I would most likely wait at least a couple of months before I finally slept with him. But it's hard to come up with an arbitrary number because I might feel comfortable with the guy after a few dates, or it might take me forever.
> 
> I don't think I'd be able to have a one-night stand or sex after two dates with a guy even if I *did* have experience, but mostly for safety reasons. I'd be putting myself in a physically vulnerable position and I'd be too scared of the "what if's" in the situation.
> 
> Regardless of how long I wait, though, I'll probably want to sleep with him from the first date. I just won't.


As emotional creatures as women are, when it comes to sex, it seems they are very logical about waiting until they feel comfortable. Even if they really want to do it, they can easily say no and just wait until another time. Whereas guys will just stick it anywhere anytime. Totally understandable though that women usually need that feeling of safety and security to go all the way (unless their really uninhibited and/or drunk), it's just interesting how much easier it is for them to be logical about their horniness.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

rymo said:


> As emotional creatures as women are, when it comes to sex, it seems they are very logical about waiting until they feel comfortable. Even if they really want to do it, they can easily say no and just wait until another time. Whereas guys will just stick it anywhere anytime. Totally understandable though that women usually need that feeling of safety and security to go all the way (unless their really uninhibited and/or drunk), it's just interesting how much easier it is for them to be logical about their horniness.


It's not that women are "more emotional creature," it's that there are more things we have to think about: safety (i.e. date rape), getting pregnant, what will he think of me, what will my friends think of me. As women we're taught that sex/wanting sex is something we shouldn't flaunt. It's easier for men to jump anyone because it's not frowned upon. To say, however, that men will **** anyone isn't accurate. Men can be equally mindful about having sex/waiting.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

AllToAll said:


> It's not that women are "more emotional creature," it's that there are more things we have to think about: safety (i.e. date rape), getting pregnant, what will he think of me, what will my friends think of me. As women we're taught that sex/wanting sex is something we shouldn't flaunt. It's easier for men to jump anyone because it's not frowned upon. To say, however, that men will **** anyone isn't accurate. Men can be equally mindful about having sex/waiting.


Nah..it's pretty accurate for the most part. Yes, they CAN be mindful, but 99% of guys would have no issue having sex on the first date if the girl was down for it.


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## shyguyy (Mar 1, 2012)

rymo said:


> How many dates before you have sex with a guy (or at least more than making out..if ya know what I mean )?


I'm 12.. my virgin eyes... :no


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

rymo said:


> Nah..it's pretty accurate for the most part. Yes, they CAN be mindful, but 99% of guys would have no issue having sex on the first date if the girl was down for it.


I'm not saying that men wouldn't be able to have sex with women on the first date, but women would women have sex on the first date as well if there wasn't the social pressure not to.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

rymo said:


> How many dates before you have sex with a guy (or at least more than making out..if ya know what I mean )? Assume that you are attracted to the guy (or girl for the lesbians) and you seem to have a connection with him (or at least as much of a connection as your SA will allow).


At least two. Often more. I've had sex with a guy I just met, but we weren't dating.


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## shyguyy (Mar 1, 2012)

AllToAll said:


> I'm not saying that men wouldn't be able to have sex with women on the first date, but neither would women if there wasn't the social pressure not to.


Thats some English. Lets see if I can break this down. Neither would women.. ok so

Women wouldnt be able to have sex with men on the first date if there wasnt the social pressure not to.

Wtf did I just read?

Edit: "I'm not saying that men wouldn't be able to have sex with women on the first date"

Wtf does this part of the sentence mean also? Holy **** am I losing my comprehension abilities?


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

shyguyy said:


> Thats some English. Lets see if I can break this down. Neither would women.. ok so
> 
> Women wouldnt be able to have sex with men on the first date if there wasnt the social pressure not to.
> 
> ...


Already fixed.


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## Quinn the Eskimo (Jan 22, 2012)

yea most girls put out pretty easily, as long as there is a connection and they like you

the date limit is a dying practice


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## Quinn the Eskimo (Jan 22, 2012)

rymo said:


> Nah..it's pretty accurate for the most part. Yes, they CAN be mindful, but 99% of guys would have no issue having sex on the first date if the girl was down for it.


agreed. most dudes will bone a hot chick with no second thoughts.

most dudes will also bone a but-her-face provided no one directly knows about it.

there are chicks out there like this too, just not as many because of social pressure, not some kind of higher emotional standard


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## shyguyy (Mar 1, 2012)

Quinn the Eskimo said:


> yea most girls put out pretty easily, as long as there is a connection and they like you
> 
> the date limit is a dying practice


Share some tips bro. All my girls actually move backwards when it comes to sex, they want to friendzone me. I went on a 1st date with this chick and she was in stocking and a hot skirt, said my eyes were cute. Anyway 2nd date she's in jeans and says lets me friends. :no

She was hot, too. Had to let her go as I knew she wasnt gonna give me sugar anytime soon and I'm an ADD fuk I need sex soon or I just cant spend time going through the dog and pony show.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

andy1984 said:


> so to summarize.... girls generally have sex somewhere between 0 to 1,000,000,000 days after the first date.


Yep. Exactly.


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

We were two weeks away from getting married, after five years in a relationship.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

rymo said:


> As emotional creatures as women are, when it comes to sex, it seems they are very logical about waiting until they feel comfortable. Even if they really want to do it, they can easily say no and just wait until another time. Whereas guys will just stick it anywhere anytime. Totally understandable though that women usually need that feeling of safety and security to go all the way (unless their really uninhibited and/or drunk), it's just interesting how much easier it is for them to be logical about their horniness.





AllToAll said:


> It's not that women are "more emotional creature," it's that there are more things we have to think about: safety (i.e. date rape), getting pregnant, what will he think of me, what will my friends think of me. As women we're taught that sex/wanting sex is something we shouldn't flaunt. It's easier for men to jump anyone because it's not frowned upon. To say, however, that men will **** anyone isn't accurate. Men can be equally mindful about having sex/waiting.





AllToAll said:


> I'm not saying that men wouldn't be able to have sex with women on the first date, but women would women have sex on the first date as well if there wasn't the social pressure not to.


I don't have many of the inhibitions that other women have due to growing up in a liberal area with liberal parents. Also being in my own little world age 12-17 (didn't go to school) probably contributed to it. Still I would have slept with much more men if I hadn't gotten the strange reactions that I got. Even if you are not looking for a relationship most men will not want to see you again for paranoia that you will try to push for one or perhaps they just weren't really attracted to you in the first place. I don't think men get that reaction from women very often. So after that happening a few times, casual sex became much less attractive. I like casual sex but not one night stands.

So it is more than societal pressure.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

komorikun said:


> I don't have many of the inhibitions that other women have due to growing up in a liberal area with liberal parents. Also being in my own little world age 12-17 (didn't go to school) probably contributed to it. Still I would have slept with much more men if I hadn't gotten the strange reactions that I got. *Even if you are not looking for a relationship most men will not want to see you again for paranoia that you will try to push for one or perhaps they just weren't really attracted to you in the first place. I don't think men get that reaction from women very often. So after that happening a few times, casual sex became much less attractive.* I like casual sex but not one night stands.
> 
> So it is more than societal pressure.


That seems like to me like it _is_ societal pressure.


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## Wacky Wednesdays (Apr 10, 2011)

shyguyy said:


> Thats some English. Lets see if I can break this down. Neither would women.. ok so
> 
> Women wouldnt be able to have sex with men on the first date if there wasnt the social pressure not to.
> 
> ...


Hah, I had difficulty comprehending that too.


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## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)




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## darkangel (Apr 19, 2005)

_AJ_ said:


>


^^^^.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

AllToAll said:


> That seems like to me like it _is_ societal pressure.


Maybe. I kind of see it as a sort of disconnect between the sexes. I really do not know why exactly men act that way. I can only theorize. But I'm pretty sure that more women would be up for casual sex if they did not get that reaction from men. I wonder how it works for gay guys.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

komorikun said:


> Maybe. I kind of see it as a sort of disconnect between the sexes. I really do not know why exactly men act that way. I can only theorize. * But I'm pretty sure that more women would be up for casual sex if they did not get that reaction from men.* I wonder how it works for gay guys.


Exactly, which is why I think it's societal pressure that causes a division of the sexes. If the same rules applied to both men and women (sans double standards), men in this situation wouldn't judge women, and women would have sex whenever they felt like it regardless of how long they've known each other.
Like I said in my original post, I would want to have sex with a guy if I was attracted to him, but because I'm a woman and I've been taught to act a certain way when it comes to sex, I wouldn't. As a society, we're supposed to look down to women who have sex on the first date. Some men don't take them seriously because of this internalized sexism (that even I, to an extent, am guilty of).


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## shyguyy (Mar 1, 2012)

AllToAll said:


> Exactly, which is why I think it's societal pressure that causes a division of the sexes. If the same rules applied to both men and women (sans double standards), men in this situation wouldn't judge women, and women would have sex whenever they felt like it regardless of how long they've known each other.
> Like I said in my original post, I would want to have sex with a guy if I was attracted to him, but because I'm a woman and I've been taught to act a certain way when it comes to sex, I wouldn't. As a society, we're supposed to look down to women who have sex on the first date. Some men don't take them seriously because of this internalized sexism (that even I, to an extent, am guilty of).


Another quality post by WSsicks I mean AllToAll.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

If she's really important you'll wait forever. For anything.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Railroad Cancellation said:


> If she's really important you'll wait forever. For anything.


Haha..I hate this topic. Some people completely misinterpreted what I was saying. Thanks for everyone who decided to have a logical discussion about it.

As for your comment, personally I have never been in a situation where I've fallen for someone before having sex with her (aside from back in high school when I was a complete mess and would fall in love with any girl who said hello to me). Not that I've really, truly fallen for anyone, anyway. I'm not saying it's impossible, but I feel like sexual compatibility is important in a relationship and if you don't know if you will have that it's prudent to try and hold back as much as possible emotionally until you do.

I was talking to this girl online a few days ago, and she was saying that with her ex, things were generally very good and they had a great chemistry making out and cuddling, but when it came to actual sex she felt that amazing, passionate, romantic spark was missing. Not that that was what ultimately ended the relationship for her, but it was a need that wasn't being fulfilled nonetheless.

Honestly, what if I fell in love with a girl, waited 3 years until she was comfortable, and then it turned out she had 3 vaginas. Extreme example, I know - and maybe some guys would be into that - but there's waiting and then there's waiiiiiting, and I don't realistically see waiting 'forever' or a really long time as an option, unless you reaaaally don't care about sex.


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Months, took me five with my current bf and we are in a serious relationship so that puts some input on how long I was going to wait.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

Depends on the situation...I dunno why guys get turned off when a woman has sex with them after like 2 dates or even 1. If there is a lot of chemistry do whatever you want..I guess my problem is I talk about sex too early with guys then they think of me as an object...it's stupid...why can't we talk about it in a mature honest way. Heh whatever..


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

meganmila said:


> Depends on the situation...I dunno why guys get turned off when a woman has sex with them after like 2 dates or even 1. If there is a lot of chemistry do whatever you want..I guess my problem is I talk about sex too early with guys then they think of me as an object...it's stupid...why can't we talk about it in a mature honest way. Heh whatever..


Thisssssssssssssssssssss.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

meganmila said:


> Depends on the situation...I dunno why guys get turned off when a woman has sex with them after like 2 dates or even 1. If there is a lot of chemistry do whatever you want..I guess my problem is I talk about sex too early with guys then they think of me as an object...it's stupid...why can't we talk about it in a mature honest way. Heh whatever..


Yeah, men are weird. Once you talk about sex then it's like okay next date...YOUR HOUSE. You then get put into the "puta" or easy lay/not worth more than a pizza and some beer category. I've also learned not to mention how cool love hotels in Japan are. I get the feeling that American men think love hotels are sleazier than having sex at someone's place. Doesn't make sense to me but whatever.


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## MoniqueS (Feb 21, 2011)

When we are in a monogamous relationship so likely many dates.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

komorikun said:


> Yeah, men are weird. Once you talk about sex then it's like okay next date...YOUR HOUSE. You then get put into the "puta" or easy lay/not worth more than a pizza and some beer category. I've also learned not to mention how cool love hotels in Japan are. I get the feeling that American men think love hotels are sleazier than having sex at someone's place. Doesn't make sense to me but whatever.


Yea, it's like why does it have to be like that..I think talking about it is interesting and knowing what they think about it and all and likes and dislikes..I mean I would like to see if we are sexually compatible before I get serious. Yeah I'm not really old fashioned lol. I only know about Love Hotels from Enter the void and if you ever seen it they just show a bunch of random people doing it in it...I dunno if it's really like that.


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## warewolf95 (Nov 16, 2011)

BobtheSaint said:


> I hope it's plenty of dates....I'd rather get to know the lady first.


Ya know, Im 17 and I agree with him. Why would you want to be with a careless **** that doesnt respect herself and just throws it out there?


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

warewolf95 said:


> Ya know, Im 17 and I agree with him. Why would you want to be with a careless **** that doesnt respect herself and just throws it out there?


 *Example 1*


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## LordScott (Apr 9, 2012)

id hope to have sex with a girl first date. would be awesome


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

This kinda proves how different everyone is and that there actually are no rules to it. Some it's months, others it's weeks and then for some it's the first date, you just don't know. For my roomies it's just 1 night stands every weekend :roll


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## mountain5 (May 22, 2008)

When it comes down to it, everyone wants what they can't have.

Edit: That's not a statement about withholding sex or anything, in fact I find the complaining about men in this thread kind of annoying. I think it should just happen when the chemistry is right. In my mind, the problem is that most relationships have no chemistry.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

warewolf95 said:


> Ya know, Im 17 and I agree with him. Why would you want to be with a careless **** that doesnt respect herself and just throws it out there?


Wow...nice insult there...


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

rymo said:


> Haha..I hate this topic. Some people completely misinterpreted what I was saying. Thanks for everyone who decided to have a logical discussion about it.
> 
> As for your comment, personally I have never been in a situation where I've fallen for someone before having sex with her (aside from back in high school when I was a complete mess and would fall in love with any girl who said hello to me). Not that I've really, truly fallen for anyone, anyway. I'm not saying it's impossible, but I feel like sexual compatibility is important in a relationship and if you don't know if you will have that it's prudent to try and hold back as much as possible emotionally until you do.
> 
> ...


Then it comes down to your priorities. It takes certain life experiences to show a person what they really should value the most.

If sex was such a big deal then nip off down to your local escort agency, or, if your moral fibre does not permit that, do what I do and buy some porn and deal with that aspect of being a male like most others do as well.


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## CrimsonRaven (Apr 3, 2012)

For me it depends on the guy or how I feel. The general rule is awhile. If I'm really attracted to him and he makes me laugh and I love being around him.....5 dates. But I mean there has to be a great connection. If otherwise, I'll hold out for a couple months. 

.....unless I met Aziz Ansari and he was game then it would be that night lol


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Railroad Cancellation said:


> Then it comes down to your priorities. It takes certain life experiences to show a person what they really should value the most.
> 
> If sex was such a big deal then nip off down to your local escort agency, or, if your moral fibre does not permit that, do what I do and buy some porn and deal with that aspect of being a male like most others do as well.


Or I could just find a girl who is sexually compatible with me...


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

rymo said:


> Or I could just find a girl who is sexually compatible with me...


Yep. You could do that too. Just ensure you've checked the batteries in your sexual compatability calculator.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Railroad Cancellation said:


> Yep. You could do that too. Just ensure you've checked the batteries in your sexual compatability calculator.


Or I could find a girl who is willing to have sex before 20 dates (most girls) and just see that way...


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## CrimsonTrigger (Jun 28, 2011)

meganmila said:


> Depends on the situation...I dunno why guys get turned off when a woman has sex with them after like 2 dates or even 1. If there is a lot of chemistry do whatever you want..I guess my problem is I talk about sex too early with guys then they think of me as an object...it's stupid...why can't we talk about it in a mature honest way. Heh whatever..


I think you're right. I was talking to a girl I met online once and she told me she had a love for porn. Then she mentioned that whenever she mentions her love of porn to guys, suddenly they try to get her in bed. It's like with some guys all you have to do is mention the something sexual and the whole relationship changes completely.

I made sure to tell her I wasn't like that. Whether she liked me that way or not, I'll never truly know. I just assumed that she was really open about this kind of thing and wasn't actually inviting me to do anything.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

Theologic said:


> That raises the question "How much does she get around if she was this easy?" I'm not trying to be condescending, I just want to share my opinion about your statement. I personally see sex as more of a sacred kind of thing. I like my sexual experiences to be personal and to be only had with a partner that I loved. If it were easier, I'd limit having sex to one girl that I'd eventually marry.
> 
> I'm sure my take on that is among the minorities but a lot of guys I know wouldn't want to sleep with a girl who is easy regardless of if it was just for fun or not. It makes a man wonder if she's too promiscuous (has a reputation of having a lot of sex with many people or if she might have gained an std etc)


Well, we have two different views. I guess for me sex with strong feelings scares the crap out of me in a way. I have had sex with feelings and I started to get close and guess what they didn't like me anymore. I may think this way cause I am bitter who knows. I'm not that promiscuous I mean I did go a little crazy at 19 but I was young and new at everything, I haven't done anything in over a year and I seem to not care for now. I have made mistakes before....but the talking about it is a problem for me now and it shouldn't be....why do guys scare away once you TALK about it I will not know...it's not like we are doing anything.

Annnd think about this....what if you have been talking online for a long time and you finally meet and then you have sex...nothing wrong with that since you actually really know the person...that's why I said depends on the situation.


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## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

Anywhere between the first date to after marriage is good for me, ladies.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

Theologic said:


> I can understand how experiences would change your views. I don't think one view is better or worse, just a preference. I know people can be real jerks and I get too attached after sex myself, so that is apart of the reason I have to take it slow. If I date a girl for a year and she sticks around with no sex, I'll feel more comfortable having sex with her because she might actually like me so much that sex wouldn't ruin our relationship.
> 
> I know people make mistakes and can grow out of old habits, I myself have had experiences that I really wish I wouldn't lol. My past relationships have ruined the possibility of dating other people in my area...they know me and whats her face did this and that so they become disinterested or I seem like just another irresponsible, immoral, sex fiend lol idk.
> 
> ...


Not actually scaring but like "ohh sex..yeah this girl is in now I'm gonna want it now and blah blah"


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## Loveless (Apr 6, 2012)

Theologic said:


> Ohhhhhhh yeaaah I see! :sus
> I am so glad I am a man lol. I don't know what to tell you, I think men are bad at reading signals. I've never had a situation like this happen though. I'm not even sure if I'm understanding you very well lol =P


Theo my buddy don't even try to understand a women. they send more mixed signals then anything. There's this one girl I tried going for that sent me all sorts of mixed signals. I won't go into detalis but as a man, I believe women are too complicated. Either that or I'm too simple lol.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

Theologic said:


> Ohhhhhhh yeaaah I see! :sus
> I am so glad I am a man lol. I don't know what to tell you, I think men are bad at reading signals. I've never had a situation like this happen though. I'm not even sure if I'm understanding you very well lol =P


Heh just forget it...


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## factmonger (Aug 4, 2010)

Through experience, I have come to the conclusion that I only want to have relations with someone I am seriously and exclusively dating. I need that extra connection because otherwise it feels cheap and impersonal.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

factmonger said:


> Through experience, I have come to the conclusion that I only want to have relations with someone I am seriously and exclusively dating. I need that extra connection because otherwise it feels cheap and impersonal.


Fresh facts, fresh facts! :lol


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## Skttrbrain (Jun 17, 2011)

I've gone home with guys the first night I met or not long after .. and not even actual dates (blame it on the alcohol). But I'm taking a break and hopefully the next guy I sleep with will be my boyfriend. From my experience, guys don't really try to get to know you if you've slept with them too soon.


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