# what is depression like for you?



## fairy12 (Oct 2, 2013)

For me, it is feeling emotionally weak and "down". Less confidence. Sad.


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## LoneWolf14 (Dec 18, 2014)

When in one of my depression swings its like the saying when it rains it pours. I usually cut everyone off, make no effort to socialize. I go to school keep to myself come home chill in my room/sleep. Not a whole lot of fun so I try to pick myself up before it gets to bad.


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## roseblood (Mar 1, 2010)

^^like that


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## roseblood (Mar 1, 2010)

"That’s the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it’s impossible to ever see the end."

— Elizabeth Wurtzel 

^^Like that too


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## KoolKat (Feb 6, 2015)

I just don't want to do anything and see no point in anything.


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## Cloudsephiroth (Feb 9, 2015)

Like a nightmare, but you never wake up and you have no desire to wake up because it would take effort.


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## slowlyimproving (Jan 2, 2014)

fairy12 said:


> For me, it is feeling emotionally weak and "down". Less confidence. Sad.


Sad, hopelessness, lethargic, fragile......I just want to hide in a deep pit somewhere.


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## fairy12 (Oct 2, 2013)

slowlyimproving said:


> Sad, hopelessness, lethargic, fragile......I just want to hide in a deep pit somewhere.


what meds do you take, if any?


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## fairy12 (Oct 2, 2013)

roseblood said:


> ^^like that


haha


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## slowlyimproving (Jan 2, 2014)

fairy12 said:


> what meds do you take, if any?


Well, I was taking Effexor but it stopped working. Now, I'm not taking anything.....I hate the idea of taking more medication but I'm in pretty bad shape. I'm just tired of it all.


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## fairy12 (Oct 2, 2013)

slowlyimproving said:


> Well, I was taking Effexor but it stopped working. Now, I'm not taking anything.....I hate the idea of taking more medication but I'm in pretty bad shape. I'm just tired of it all.


I'm glad you aren't taking any medications. I think this site will help you meet nice people who can lift you.


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## slowlyimproving (Jan 2, 2014)

fairy12 said:


> I'm glad you aren't taking any medications. I think this site will help you meet nice people who can lift you.


Thanks, that would be nice.


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

*You can't*

Is what I'm told by everyone.

Absolute false statement


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

I don't really get too depressed unless someone really pisses me off. Then I spend a few days moping and am OK again. OTOH, I guess you could say I am what might be described as permanently depressed. I have a certain level of cynicism and pessimism that never goes away but it pretty much never goes to rock bottom levels where I'm curled up in a ball in a dark, leaky basement crying.


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## ShatteredGlass (Oct 12, 2012)

I don't feel distinctly sad for the most part, I just have little energy and motivation to do anything, even my hobbies. I consider video games to be a hobby of mine, but I usually can't be bothered playing them, even though I have plenty of free time. I constantly feel inferior to most people and my self esteem is generally very poor. I'm veeeery sensitive and it doesn't take too much to put me in an even-worse-mood. Talking to my mum will usually put me in a worse mood. In fact, social interaction typically makes me feel worse in general because I'm always socially anxious and socially retarded.

Frustration comes quickly. Doing poorly in something (which I do a lot, especially at school), will result in self-hate-filled-thoughts and urges to self harm, mainly because of feelings of complete and utter inferiority. I'm very negative about everything and see little hope. I just do things for the sake of doing them. It doesn't feel like I'm getting anything out of them. I listen to music, but oftentimes I don't take notice of the music. I play video games, but it sometimes feels like I'm just pressing buttons to make things happen without actually 'experiencing' it.

I feel angry when I'm at school. Everybody else is hanging out with their friends, being (not) socially retarded and not being plagued with never-ending worry and negative thoughts. People don't take much notice of me. This is bittersweet because I'm too anxious to talk to people, but at the same time, I'm painfully lonely. People constantly reject me. The other day, a dude at school asked everybody in the immediate vicinity (I was around too) a question relating to school work. It was an individual question and he asked the other few people (who weren't his friends btw), but he didn't ask me. I was left out. I felt sad and kind of angry. I don't get why people don't seem to like me. Yeah, I don't talk and I'm socially retarded, but I don't have an angry resting face and I try to appear friendly when I'm at school. I try to sound friendly during the rare times people actually talk to me. Anxiety mostly stops this from happening though. I guess I come across as rude a lot of the time. Bleh.

Suicidal thoughts are so common in my mind that they don't even affect me. They feel completely normal because they're so frequent when I'm at school. School is a barrage of daily horrors and I absolutely detest it. I wake up on school mornings and my first thoughts are: "ugh, I've got school today. I wonder how I'm going to suffer today...?" School never disappointing with horror. Literally the first 15 minutes into the school year, in late Jan this year, school already hit with a KO punch. An explanation of the actual event would take too long but yeah, it was a nausea inducing horror within the first few minutes of the school year. 

Many of my non-school hours are spent complaining (mentally) about how much I despise school. I punch myself over school. I hit things. I grit my teeth. I think about burning it down. I scratch my skin. I headbutt walls. "I ****ING HATE YOU SCHOOL! GO KILL YOURSELF!"

Unfortunately, I can't escape.

There are other things that I could talk about, but I can't really be bothered. lol

Although I might mention that while I do have severe anxiety, mental exhaustion causes me to 'just not care' about other anxiety inducing things, like homework.

Actually, speaking of schoolwork, especially homework.. I ****ing hate it. I can't be bothered with most of it (except maybe things that don't involve creativity as they take much less effort), homework makes me want to cry. I sit there, staring at my computer screen with Microsoft Word or whatever open and I'm just biting my nails, feeling like my work is just horrible no matter what. I'm never confident with what I've done. My work always looks terrible and I hardly ever get anything finished. Homework makes me anxious, as evidenced by the nail biting. Great. Yet even more anxiety. Just what I need. That's what homework gifts me with. Getting nothing done just makes me feel worse, yet I can't finish it. There is simply too much anxiety and my ADD symptoms cause me to be distracted by basically anything. Walls become intriguing when I have homework in front of me. I'm serious. The fact that I have so many other things right in front of my that are less horrible doesn't help. I rarely get things finished and as a result, my grades suck.

Which makes my self esteem even worse.

I suck. I want antidepressants and I don't care about the side effects, although my mother doesn't understand my problems beyond some 'mild social anxiety'.


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## Sapphire14 (Mar 11, 2015)

When I feel it, it's like a numbness deep within. I swear my heart literally sinks. I feel too numb to even cry. It's as though I've put on glasses that allow me to see only negativity. I don't care about anything or anyone. I have absolutely no motivation to do anything or face anyone. I want to be alone in my room with the door shut and the curtains closed, with chocolate, and no interruptions. 

Thank God I don't experience it continuously! PMS that brings if on for me, and I'll feel it for a few days. Stress can also trigger it.


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## Losti (Aug 23, 2012)

I guess exactly that, no end or light in sight. Just helplessness, lack of interest in things, feeling demotivated and sometimes even guilty. The worst is when the feelings and misery gets so painful, your streaming with silent tears down your face, eyes bloodshot, your chest and throat feeling sore and tense as your overcome with emotions you got bottled up so deep. Luckily this is rare for now, but used to be pretty common.


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## Sapphire14 (Mar 11, 2015)

.


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## Smallfry (Oct 11, 2004)

fairy12 said:


> For me, it is feeling emotionally weak and "down". Less confidence. Sad.


^ that and exhaustion like the life has been sucked out of me :|


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## SummerRae (Nov 21, 2013)

I just feel like I'm ****ing drowning everyday of my life. I'm so afraid of drowning, I'd rather burn to death.


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## nameless3903787489796 (Sep 6, 2013)

Lack of motivation to do anything. 
Constantly feel like crying all the time.
Feeling that the future is bleak and hopeless.
Finding everything in life meaningless.
No interest in relationships


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

Very low self esteem, loss of appetite, loss of interest in activities I enjoy, low energy, my digestive system goes out of wack too. Feels like there's a hole in my stomach.


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## LolaViola (Jun 23, 2013)

It's like a dreary, rainy day that never ends. An emptiness that consumes.


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## dontwaitupforme (Feb 23, 2013)

I've managed to pull through out of the worst of it.. I do think short term meds helped balance out the chemistry up there.

Now it comes and goes.. I could be riding high and getting **** done, then all of a sudden something bad happens (que drama.) I feel negative at first, speculate too much and then fade into depression. What I've learned is when your at this stage.. Trying to push yourself to do something productive/positive as much as you can.. Even if you don't want to, is important. You tend to find you feel more a sense of contentment and sometimes even happiness for doing so.

If there is something toxic and uncontrollable happening in your life. You need to get rid of it. Whether that be cutting ties with someone, finding a new job, moving house/town/city.. Anything.

Depression is a blackhole.. But I believe we can come out of it.


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## Wylini (Mar 23, 2015)

Depression to me feels like I'm just empty, nothing really there.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

~ Lethargy & apathy of body, mind, & soul
~ Despondency
~ A crushing/sinking feeling in m chest
~ Loss of interest & motivation
~ Hopelessness & despair
~ Restlessness
~ Poor sleep & vivid dreams of a negative nature
~ Lack of appetite
~ Feelings of alienation 
~ Anger at the world
~ Self loathing & shame
~ Emptiness

*Any random combination of the above*


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## forgetmylife (Oct 1, 2011)

some cruel combination of apathy and sadness


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## MCHB (Jan 1, 2013)

Pretty well everything that's been said. I've been taking Wellbutrin for about two years now and it's taken that long to get it, for the most part, under control. The first several months were the worst; extreme mood swings, zero energy; I was pretty irate for awhile. If you dig back through my posts to around a year and a half ago, that was the extreme low point. 

I wound up having to leave my job (but it was time for a change anyway) and if it wasn't for my family, I don't know what sort of state I'd be in today. Eventually I hit a point where I thought to myself, "This is stupid, I have to get out and do something" and gradually started getting out of the house more.

It can be overcome, but not overnight.


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## DefineByte (Nov 10, 2012)

When I feel it it's as if my mind has been replaced with one that makes me feel worthless and completely apathetic towards everything
I think for the most part this last year I've managed to get a handle on it but there are still days when I wake up with the belief that I don't want to partake in life anymore and it's a real struggle to break those thoughts


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