# YES FINALLY GOT LAID! - Detailed!



## MrNiceGuy

WOOOOOO.! So been talking to this girl that lives a plane ride away. She came down here to go sky diving so I was just talking to her the whole time. Shes here for like 3 days and I just happened to catch her when her friend is still knocked out (her friend is a chick). So idk how it happened but we ended up talking about sex and she's like flirting back hard and im like wow if you were here right now.... and she said well im only a few miles away  and im like im picking you up. I pick her up take her to my room and she kept getting text messages from her friedn I thought she was making it up so she could leave but im sitting on my bed and she smiles at me all nervous and im like well so what do you want to do.

She's like idk im right here you do what you want. So im like FK IT! and start kissing her and shes like sucking my tongueout my mouth lol. Anyway. She thought i was BSing her cause I never had sex cause I was shy but shes like, during, "haha is this shy? your totally bsing me" lol. Anyway when it got time to perform my soldier was stage fright. WORST POSSIBLE TIME EVER!!!
She tried her best but she got tired and she was pissed off at me.
I convinced her to spend the night and we layed there for a good 30 minutes and im like fk it lets watch some pron put that in didnt help. Got lotion and bingo I won. I didnt even finish nor she but my first time was awkward as hell.... 

1 hour later or so we are just laying down talking and one thing lead to another BINGO. Another time. Same situation guy didnt perform as well as I hoped haha. 

Another hour later AGAIN it happened. Im like ugh we gotta sleep you have to be with your friends in a few hours we gotta wake up in 2 hours! shes like well stop touching me and I couldnt resist lol. which is why we had sex like 3 times in a night.
Finally we fell asleep and I wake up cause shes moving the bed. and im like morning wood. So one thing lead to another and I ended up hitting her head against the wall lol so I stopped and had to put pillows behind her. THEN FINALLY after 3 times she helps me out. The whole time I was giving she receiving. 
Then its about 6:14 and we are laying down in bed. It gets to 6:45 and shes like we gotta go now and im like no I dont want you to leave and im like well let me do one last thing. and.. BINGO... 
Then w e ended up being late cause we took a shower together. Weird lol but fun. 
So I dropped her off and shes off to do her own thing. We kept texting back and forth like damn if you were here sort of thing. I told her if shes free tonight she should hit me up. Shes like ill let you know, but dont finish without me . Cause thats why I couldnt perform earlier. So she got mad haha.

Anyway now i gotta wear a dang bandage on my neck cause its like covered in hickies. luckly the same side. 

YAY! 

==================EDIT===========================
January 25 2015

Welp 2 years later we are married lol. Life has been good. I havent been on this website since this. 

We dated for a long time and we are celebrating our 1 year marriage in march.
I just wanted a friend and she came along. Then we really got to know eachother and we talked every single night. She told me everything about her and her sexual past and all that. To both of us we were just something fun cause we are bored until we started talking everyday and it turned into something amazing. She met my family and i met hers. Even though we are married we hardly see eachother. She is still a plane ride away. Its difficult but we sleep together on the phone everynight and text and talk to eachother all the time. 

The reason why im looking at these forums again is to see where I was in my life and where I am now. 

I destroyed my SA and im a better man because of her. I have a few friends I go drinking and hanging out practically every weekend and I have a wife that loves me for who I am no matter how much I mess up. She is 100% faithful and caring. She donates blood, donates her time to protest drugs in her town. She is amazingly hot used to be a model legit! She is way out of my league and I ask myself everyday how did I end up with someone like her. She is always on my mind. We plan our lives together all the time and I couldnt of been happier. 

This post is just to show people that you can beat SA because I did. Hell I had 328 posts wow!

Also feel free to look at my threads I posted and see how much my life has changed!


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## xTaylor

Good job  Sounds fun.


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## laura024

Thanks for the lols.


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## In a Lonely Place




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## MrNiceGuy

AHAHAHHA loving that post. ^


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## Sourgirl25

Trust me, No one on SAS gives a **** about this thread.


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## kiirby

Sourgirl25 said:


> OMG! No one on SAS gives a **** about u getting laid. Lol


This is the triumphs over social anxiety section. This can be seen as a triumph to some. Don't be a jerk.


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## forex

funny as hell.


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## jook

:clap:clap:boogie:boogie:banana


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## Raphael200

Sourgirl25 said:


> Trust me, No one on SAS gives a **** about this thread.


:agree


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## Just Lurking

Sourgirl25 said:


> Trust me, No one on SAS gives a **** about this thread.


Speak for yourself.

Good for the OP


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## scythe7

Sourgirl25 said:


> Trust me, No one on SAS gives a **** about this thread.


Congrats to OP. But basically this. :agree


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## purplefruit

congrats on the sex.

man **** being asexual everyone else seems to be having so much fun.


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## Jr189

Congrats!!


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## xxsnapshot

lmao it's funny and successful!  good job


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## tronjheim

Let's go! Everybody out on the floor!
Get up, get up!
Gotta get up, get up now!
Let's move! Can you show me what you're gonna do?
Get up, get up cause the party don't stop now!


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## Futures

Sourgirl25 said:


> Trust me, No one on SAS gives a **** about this thread.


Well at least he didn't come on here like most people and tell a forum full of virgins that "it was really no big deal."

He's excited about it, and he should be.

So for that...


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## Loveless

I hope I lose my V Card. I will not however make a thread about it when I do


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## arnie

Sourgirl25 said:


> Trust me, No one on SAS gives a **** about this thread.


I care. :hug


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## TicklemeRingo

Congratulations. I like how you just told the story without lecturing other people about how they should feel.


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## inerameia

Holy **** that was funny. Congrats haha


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## MrNiceGuy

LOL. yeah some parts I was like cracking up when I was like on her and her head banging the wall and i had to put a pillow I laughed out loud when that happend haha. but thanks for the comments. Im just saying ive been on this website and had sa for years. (joined 2010? I think) and yeah I just want to share my experience to say yeah I did do a ****ty job. Couldnt get it up and all the worst possible things but I didnt let that get to me. Im happy, I had fun, it wasnt as mind blowing as I thought it would be but nevertheless still fun and felt good lol.

Needless to say picking her up right now and ready for round 2 lol..


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## changeme77

hickies lol thats a word i haven't heard in a long time.


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## Rixy




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## Zeeshan

Excellent


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## getsomeair

No one? Too obvious? Meh I don't care!


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## Raynic781

It always amazes me how many replies threads like these get. Any other thread is lucky to get 2 or 3 replies. Any threads related to sex always get the most replies. 

Anyways, while I'm here, congrats to the OP for getting "laid".


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## photorealisticotakuman

Never felt this happy for ANYONE for getting laid  

MrNiceGuy --Tres bien! Uitstekende! Outstanding !


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## MrNiceGuy

Lol GETSOMEAIR hahaha. Forgot that song! So yeah she came over again and we "parked the airplane in the garage" about 3 more times. Had to take breaks inbetween. 
UGH damn YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL
Didnt know it would be so warm and wet lol. Like a freaken tsunami down there lol. Woke up at like 6 played around fell asleep like on top of eachother and woke up at 8 went at it again. Shes like I have to leave in a few hours so she just is like kissing me and she whispers just one more time before I leave. and BINGO game over, I didnt just get BINGO I BLACKED OUT that full card. haha. Then right after shes like we gotta leave now and she says lets change so right after we just changed and left to drop her off. 

I got the biggest smile on my face right now lol. FAOUKKKKK YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the bad side she gave me more hickies and now my neck is just like uhh yeah u cant cover that up with bandaids. You need a turtle neck man! 

Thanks for your comments!


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## Raynic781

mark101 said:


> Yet you added your's


I sure did, but I also reply to the other threads.


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## Brandeezy

You're now a legend Mr. Nice Guy, a legend"


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## Shylock holmes

The people who don't care are clearly jealous otherwise why would you open such a titled thread in the first place.

Good job dude, sounded a bit embarrassing at first but she must have been really into you for her to stay even when your one eyed monster was feeling shy.


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## MrNiceGuy

Hahah yeah. I guess we are just fun buddies. Cause I kinda asked her on a date to the movies when she comes back she just bluffed it off. All we talk about is sex now lol. Im trying to stray away from those convo's cause shes going to be back in 3 weeks and she wants me to not do anything like masturbate so when she comes back I hopefully will perform at best lol. and sex talks gets me...... ya know.

But yeah during, I kept laughing and saying FK HAHA I bet youre so pissed and mad at me but she didnt say anything, she just said lets rest for a bit. She was frustrated sometimes and said I suck but not in a pissed off mood more of a damn I want some mood.


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## MrNiceGuy

Welp 2 years later we are married lol. Life has been good. I havent been on this website since this. 

We dated for a long time and we are celebrating our 1 year marriage in march.
I just wanted a friend and she came along. Then we really got to know eachother and we talked every single night. She told me everything about her and her sexual past and all that. To both of us we were just something fun cause we are bored until we started talking everyday and it turned into something amazing. She met my family and i met hers. Even though we are married we hardly see eachother. She is still a plane ride away. Its difficult but we sleep together on the phone everynight and text and talk to eachother all the time. 

The reason why im looking at these forums again is to see where I was in my life and where I am now. 

I destroyed my SA and im a better man because of her. I have a few friends I go drinking and hanging out practically every weekend and I have a wife that loves me for who I am no matter how much I mess up. She is 100% faithful and caring. She donates blood, donates her time to protest drugs in her town. She is amazingly hot used to be a model legit! She is way out of my league and I ask myself everyday how did I end up with someone like her. She is always on my mind. We plan our lives together all the time and I couldnt of been happier. 

This post is just to show people that you can beat SA because I did. Hell I had 328 posts wow!

Also feel free to look at my threads I posted and see how much my life has changed!


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## hughjames95

Good for you m8, I'm kinda jealous but I do hope that one day i'll be able to make a thread like this when I finally get laid for the first time..

EDIT : Didn't see the date this was initially posted.. lol FAIL


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## bbarn

that is awesome thanks for the update. This is my first time back on these forums in a while and glad i saw this.


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## coldsorehighlighter

Bingo!


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## yeahl

wow great story

will read again

thanks for sharing and updatng


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## MD10

lol i read your story for the first time and then read the edit and wasn't expecting that. Congrats man! Makes me feel like I have hope lol..currently a 23 year old virgin. 

PS I think it was very rude for those who said no one gives a **** about this thread. For some, talking to girl is hard shiit, let alone having sex with them.

PPS LOL at the just had sex video comment. I'm definitely playing that when I finally have sex.


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## mjkittredge

That's awesome, Glad she was patient with you as you overcame your anxiety together with her. And that you both stayed in touch after this and grew closer. Hope you 2 are together happily for life, and can eventually get a place together.

I had a similar story developing when I was younger, but it got derailed.


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## visualkeirockstar

That's 1 in a million lucky.


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## AntiAnxiety

Bingo!


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## DeafBoy36

mjkittredge said:


> That's awesome, Glad she was patient with you as you overcame your anxiety together with her. And that you both stayed in touch after this and grew closer. Hope you 2 are together happily for life, and can eventually get a place together.
> 
> I had a similar story developing when I was younger, but it got derailed.


The fact that you once had a similar story with a girl indicates that you'll have a girlfriend again.


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## DeafBoy36

People don't realize that once you lose your virginity, it's no longer an issue FOREVER! It's gone. Now you can really focus on the core issue - anxiety and not worrying about virginity.

I have lost my virginity years years ago. Do I worry about it now? No. I know what sex is like many many times. So my focus now is figuring out how to tackle anxiety so I can have a good dating life. Sex - I'm not worried about. I know i'll do it again. Dating - that's an issue I need to work on.

OP - congratulations! now you don't have to worry about being a virgin. Enjoy your life with your wife!  You are right. Once you found the right person, they help make you be the best man you can be. That means helping you out with reducing anxiety/depression. 

As a challenge - how many married men do you know that are still in SAS? There are some, but not many. That gives you an answer.


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## mjkittredge

DeafBoy36 said:


> The fact that you once had a similar story with a girl indicates that you'll have a girlfriend again.


I have had g/fs after that. Just none that I felt as strongly about as her  she was a real beauty, with a bright mind. Would give anything to get her back


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## DeafBoy36

mjkittredge said:


> I have had g/fs after that. Just none that I felt as strongly about as her  she was a real beauty, with a bright mind. Would give anything to get her back


I know the feeling. Been there. It can be painful but you'll find a girl someday  Have hope.


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## Farideh

Wow...girls really do love lotion. Was it Jergens.


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## 2Milk

had huge smile on my face while reading it, awesome dude.


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## SummerRae

That's fking awesome! So happy for you two, I hope things continue to go well and hopefully you two move in together someday. 

BTW why are you two still a plane ride away from each other? School?


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## tejasjs

Congrats


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## TooBad12

Congrats man, all though it was a few years ago apparently. And if I was just losing my virginity I would have made a thread about it, too. lol


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## handsup

This thread proves that even people with SA may have really good days and a great life one day. Life is full of surprises, man.


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## millenniumman75

DeafBoy36 said:


> People don't realize that once you lose your virginity, it's no longer an issue FOREVER! It's gone. Now you can really focus on the core issue - anxiety and not worrying about virginity.
> 
> I have lost my virginity years years ago. Do I worry about it now? No. I know what sex is like many many times. So my focus now is figuring out how to tackle anxiety so I can have a good dating life. Sex - I'm not worried about. I know i'll do it again. Dating - that's an issue I need to work on.
> 
> OP - congratulations! now you don't have to worry about being a virgin. Enjoy your life with your wife!  You are right. Once you found the right person, they help make you be the best man you can be. That means helping you out with reducing anxiety/depression.
> 
> As a challenge - how many married men do you know that are still in SAS? There are some, but not many. That gives you an answer.


It should be "sex - it happens when it happens", not "get it over with".
This mindset needs to change because it will NOT make everything fall into place.

After sex, you stil have to relate.


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## AntiAnxiety

handsup said:


> This thread proves that even people with SA may have really good days and a great life one day. Life is full of surprises, man.


And I want to add that this, in particular, is very possible. From the way the topic creator is talking, he was talking to this lady on one of those social dating sites. I've messed around on those, and I've had opportunities where someone wanted to come to me or wanted me to come to them. Just make sure you're well-groomed, put a couple pictures up, everything else will work itself out.


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## SmartCar

*Congrats.. & I'm glad it worked out for you*

But i just want to point out.. & this is in no way a diss, or completely directed at the OP.. but for everyone. I feel like a number of posts (not all) on the forums, have always been about losing one's virginity.. & that if they lose it, their life will be better.. & that they'll have no more SA, maybe that's true for the OP, & a select few, but i also don't think we should generalize as a whole.. & i'm sure that wasn't the intention of the OP, SA affects all parts of one's life, not just being able to pick up girls.. or lose one's virginity.. & I don't think that once you get a girlfriend/boyfriend or get married, that it automatically disappears, there are even people on this site who are couples, some who are even parents.. that still struggle with Social Anxiety, until one comes to terms with what truly causes their triggers, then you can't really say that something like losing one's virginity will make life blissful, but i will say that this is a fascinating story this is what i would call one of those once in a full moon (if i said that right) type of things, usually something from online doesn't last, let alone for someone with Social Anxiety, anyways Congrats to you:yay i really seriously hope that the marriage does last for you


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## Pancho35

MrNiceGuy said:


> Welp 2 years later we are married lol. Life has been good. I havent been on this website since this.
> 
> We dated for a long time and we are celebrating our 1 year marriage in march.
> I just wanted a friend and she came along. Then we really got to know eachother and we talked every single night. She told me everything about her and her sexual past and all that. To both of us we were just something fun cause we are bored until we started talking everyday and it turned into something amazing. She met my family and i met hers. Even though we are married we hardly see eachother. She is still a plane ride away. Its difficult but we sleep together on the phone everynight and text and talk to eachother all the time.
> 
> The reason why im looking at these forums again is to see where I was in my life and where I am now.
> 
> I destroyed my SA and im a better man because of her. I have a few friends I go drinking and hanging out practically every weekend and I have a wife that loves me for who I am no matter how much I mess up. She is 100% faithful and caring. She donates blood, donates her time to protest drugs in her town. She is amazingly hot used to be a model legit! She is way out of my league and I ask myself everyday how did I end up with someone like her. She is always on my mind. We plan our lives together all the time and I couldnt of been happier.
> 
> This post is just to show people that you can beat SA because I did. Hell I had 328 posts wow!
> 
> Also feel free to look at my threads I posted and see how much my life has changed!


So overall, although obviously not an automatic cure, would you say getting laid was the single biggest step to curing your social anxiety?


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## chompers

Good job! 

Appreciation for the awkward details :clap


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## sajs

MrNiceGuy said:


> WOOOOOO.! So been talking to this girl that lives a plane ride away. She came down here to go sky diving so I was just talking to her the whole time. Shes here for like 3 days and I just happened to catch her when her friend is still knocked out (her friend is a chick). So idk how it happened but we ended up talking about sex and she's like flirting back hard and im like wow if you were here right now.... and she said well im only a few miles away  and im like im picking you up. I pick her up take her to my room and she kept getting text messages from her friedn I thought she was making it up so she could leave but im sitting on my bed and she smiles at me all nervous and im like well so what do you want to do.
> 
> She's like idk im right here you do what you want. So im like FK IT! and start kissing her and shes like sucking my tongueout my mouth lol. Anyway. She thought i was BSing her cause I never had sex cause I was shy but shes like, during, "haha is this shy? your totally bsing me" lol. Anyway when it got time to perform my soldier was stage fright. WORST POSSIBLE TIME EVER!!!
> She tried her best but she got tired and she was pissed off at me.
> I convinced her to spend the night and we layed there for a good 30 minutes and im like fk it lets watch some pron put that in didnt help. Got lotion and bingo I won. I didnt even finish nor she but my first time was awkward as hell....
> 
> 1 hour later or so we are just laying down talking and one thing lead to another BINGO. Another time. Same situation guy didnt perform as well as I hoped haha.
> 
> Another hour later AGAIN it happened. Im like ugh we gotta sleep you have to be with your friends in a few hours we gotta wake up in 2 hours! shes like well stop touching me and I couldnt resist lol. which is why we had sex like 3 times in a night.
> Finally we fell asleep and I wake up cause shes moving the bed. and im like morning wood. So one thing lead to another and I ended up hitting her head against the wall lol so I stopped and had to put pillows behind her. THEN FINALLY after 3 times she helps me out. The whole time I was giving she receiving.
> Then its about 6:14 and we are laying down in bed. It gets to 6:45 and shes like we gotta go now and im like no I dont want you to leave and im like well let me do one last thing. and.. BINGO...
> Then w e ended up being late cause we took a shower together. Weird lol but fun.
> So I dropped her off and shes off to do her own thing. We kept texting back and forth like damn if you were here sort of thing. I told her if shes free tonight she should hit me up. Shes like ill let you know, but dont finish without me . Cause thats why I couldnt perform earlier. So she got mad haha.
> 
> Anyway now i gotta wear a dang bandage on my neck cause its like covered in hickies. luckly the same side.
> 
> YAY!
> 
> ==================EDIT===========================
> January 25 2015
> 
> Welp 2 years later we are married lol. Life has been good. I havent been on this website since this.
> 
> We dated for a long time and we are celebrating our 1 year marriage in march.
> I just wanted a friend and she came along. Then we really got to know eachother and we talked every single night. She told me everything about her and her sexual past and all that. To both of us we were just something fun cause we are bored until we started talking everyday and it turned into something amazing. She met my family and i met hers. Even though we are married we hardly see eachother. She is still a plane ride away. Its difficult but we sleep together on the phone everynight and text and talk to eachother all the time.
> 
> The reason why im looking at these forums again is to see where I was in my life and where I am now.
> 
> I destroyed my SA and im a better man because of her. I have a few friends I go drinking and hanging out practically every weekend and I have a wife that loves me for who I am no matter how much I mess up. She is 100% faithful and caring. She donates blood, donates her time to protest drugs in her town. She is amazingly hot used to be a model legit! She is way out of my league and I ask myself everyday how did I end up with someone like her. She is always on my mind. We plan our lives together all the time and I couldnt of been happier.
> 
> This post is just to show people that you can beat SA because I did. Hell I had 328 posts wow!
> 
> Also feel free to look at my threads I posted and see how much my life has changed!


I am really happy for you !. Keep it up !


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## vicente

Hey everyone,

Just in case you think this guy simply got lucky, or he doesn't REALLY have SA and that this could never happen to you, I had a similar story, except I'm a little older (age 25 when I had my first relationship and lost my virginity and got married the next year, all with the same woman).

Too bad I f**ked s**t up and she kicked me to the curb ten weeks ago. Not asking for pity, but I wanted to put a real-world twist to these kinds of fairy-tale success stories. Your life can change in a heartbeat. Don't lose hope even if you feel like your life is a long list of failures and missed opportunities. Don't take your relationship for granted either.


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## gloomy

congrats on getting married, and getting over your SA!


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## black eye

vicente said:


> Hey everyone,
> 
> Just in case you think this guy simply got lucky, or he doesn't REALLY have SA and that this could never happen to you, I had a similar story, except I'm a little older (age 25 when I had my first relationship and lost my virginity and got married the next year, all with the same woman).
> 
> Too bad I f**ked s**t up and she kicked me to the curb ten weeks ago. Not asking for pity, but I wanted to put a real-world twist to these kinds of fairy-tale success stories. Your life can change in a heartbeat. Don't lose hope even if you feel like your life is a long list of failures and missed opportunities. Don't take your relationship for granted either.


good story bro,
at least you have some new life experience now.

for this reason i recommend people not to marry their first love... 
better to mess up in small relationships, than in a big one.

also, if u never had another it's easy to fall into the trap of "how would things be like with another"


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## Riri11

god.. this brought me tears.. you deserve to be happy


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## MrNiceGuy

I really did have social anxiety i failed a couple of college classes because i refused to present in class. I used to be suicidal and recently its catching up with me but i just think positively. Getting laid was to me was a feeling that im not invisible anymore. That i actually belong somewhere. Working out by myself in the gym helped me not freakout anymore. I listened to music and kept to myself. There were sometimes i was too afraid of what people would think about me but that changed. However today im not as extraverted as i was a few years ago. Today i feel isolated and i just do my own thing. Im currently stationed in korea while my wife stays back stateside. Yes i am in the air force.


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## Cassoulet94

niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiceeeeeeeeeeeee thread.


Thanks for doing it.

Beautiful story.

It gives me some hope.

If you feel you are going down again, don't wait, find new ways to fight depression, there are plenty of it. It comes and goes but it doesn't mean that you won't be better after some time.


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## mike91

Congratulations mate and i am happy that you over came your anxiety and you are happily married


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## millenniumman75

iCod said:


> Staff Edit


Actually, it doesn't make him a "normie".
SA can creep back up - especially if he returns to the United States and away form the structure of the Air Force.

Having sex and/or getting married is not the end-all of anxiety.
That's another lie spread around here.

You are still going to be your own person, with your own stresses, having to manage life.


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## Charmeleon

iCod said:


> Staff Edit


we're not going anywhere mr

the normies are here to stay


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## iCod

RadnessaurousRex said:


> we're not going anywhere mr
> 
> the normies are here to stay


Normie phrase on SAS.
"We're here, we're extroverted, get used to it." :laugh:


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## Gojira

millenniumman75 said:


> Actually, it doesn't make him a "normie".


It's definitely less anxiety though, OP said it himself "I haven't been here since". "Only back because I want to see how much I've changed."

The people without life crippling SA - able to function in society - create a family, meet an S.O., live life - albeit a somewhat nervous one- they still want the attention of the label. While people like iCod with severe anxiety and isolation, are ignored, just like irl. SAS wants the normies because it's parent company needs the revenue.

What @iCod is saying, is that there are people who honestly will not have success. That's life. We like to tell them they will though, because it actually makes ourselves be able to go on and ignore the severe cases and go on with our own lives.  Making families, hanging out with other people - stuff that severe sufferers actually may never know. The problem here, is that people with crippling anxiety are on a completely different level of pain and suffering than the types of ppl you mentioned.

Just tell them the truth. There are ppl that will die alone. With anxiety. They just want you to accept them in this. Treat them like people too. (Not speaking directly about you, mm, normies in general.)

As far as normies, Yh, they are NOT people that fit this definition:



> Social isolation refers to a complete or near-complete lack of contact with people and society for members of a social species. It is not the same as loneliness rooted in temporary lack of contact with other humans.


Isolated people don't relate to to types of people you mentioned. And the bigger problem... they don't relate to us either. It's not recognized the difference between functional but uncomfortable people, and debilitated people with life shattering anxiety. Imagine, no friends, no relationships, isolation. _There are groups that protest when inmates face it._


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## Overdrive

Congrats !!!


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## Charmeleon

iCod said:


> Normie phrase on SAS.
> "We're here, we're extroverted, get used to it." :laugh:


bingo!

two oreo cookies for you


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## harrison

Gojira said:


> The people without life crippling SA - able to function in society - create a family, meet an S.O., live life - albeit a somewhat nervous one- they still want the attention of the label. While people like iCod with severe anxiety and isolation, are ignored, just like irl. SAS wants the normies because it's parent company needs the revenue.
> 
> What  @iCod is saying, is that there are people who honestly will not have success. That's life. *We like to tell them they will though, because it actually makes ourselves be able to go on and ignore the severe cases and go on with our own lives.* Making families, hanging out with other people - stuff that severe sufferers actually may never know. The problem here, is that people with crippling anxiety are on a completely different level of pain and suffering than the types of ppl you mentioned.
> 
> *Just tell them the truth. There are ppl that will die alone. With anxiety*. They just want you to accept them in this. Treat them like people too. (Not speaking directly about you, mm, normies in general.)
> 
> /QUOTE]
> 
> I don't agree that we tell them this to try and make ourselves feel better. We try to tell them because we know that life is long - and circumstances change.
> 
> You're 27 @Gojira? Do you really think that I should tell you that you are going to spend the rest of a very long life completely isolated and then eventually you'll die alone?
> 
> I don't believe that will be your life - not for a second. In a couple of months I'll be 57 - 30 years older than you are now. And even I know my life will change considerably over the next 10 or 20 years.
> 
> We have some say in what happens to us and what we choose to do - it's not all set in stone mate.


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## fairy12

what a lovely story


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## Gojira

@don

I wish you were right, but it's simply not the case.

Some of us are unfixable. And it's better to accept that, and be there for us in that process.

Work, and relationships, whether it's friends or S.O.'s, it's not going to happen for me. I tough it out at work till I burn out and can't do it anymore. Relationships, I talk to girls . I approach. It doesn't matter. I'm ****ed up. I'm anxious, awkward, and nervous. NO CHANGE.

Other than these two areas, I have changed a lot, so I know what change is. I've been able to move out from my parents after being isolated and jobless for the first half of my early twenties, from 19-23. I did it by staying at ****ed up jobs that made me miserable. And not accepting money help from anyone - I wanted to say I did it on my own. I have made the moves I thought I should have. Looked good on paper. It doesn't matter.

I'm just alone in a bigger place.

I am tired of this.

Believe me. I'm one of the ones that's tried my nuts off, as much as I can in the area I'm in, and with the cards I'm dealt. That's life. It's what you do.

But part of life is also adapting. And part of this adapting is accepting the truth of my circumstance. I will not make progress in social matters, no matter what I do.

You are right, things could change. I COULD GET A STROKE OF LUCK. It wouldn't be from me, or my doing. Not from my hand, or my self determination. It would be chance. A roll of the cosmic dice.

The honest truth is, some of us with social anxiety HAVE died alone, whether people want to see that or not. It'd be nice if we just got some understanding before we did.


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## harrison

Gojira said:


> @don
> *
> Believe me.* I'm one of the ones that's tried my nuts off, as much as I can in the area I'm in, and with the cards I'm dealt. That's life. It's what you do.
> 
> *But part of life is also adapting. And part of this adapting is accepting the truth of my circumstance. *I will not make progress in social matters, no matter what I do.


I believe you. And I know a lot about adapting to a situation and making the best of a difficult situation. I've been doing that for a long time too. I take an antidepressant just to make everything seem more bearable - it makes my days less lonely. But I'm going to stop them again soon and go to Bali again. I'm sick of living like this - it bores the hell out of me.

Have you ever been to a meetup for people with SA or depression? Don't know if there are any in your area? Would you be able to get to one of those?


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## millenniumman75

Gojira said:


> It's definitely less anxiety though, OP said it himself "I haven't been here since". "Only back because I want to see how much I've changed."
> 
> The people without life crippling SA - able to function in society - create a family, meet an S.O., live life - albeit a somewhat nervous one- they still want the attention of the label. While people like iCod with severe anxiety and isolation, are ignored, just like irl. SAS wants the normies because it's parent company needs the revenue.
> 
> What @*iCod* is saying, is that there are people who honestly will not have success. That's life. We like to tell them they will though, because it actually makes ourselves be able to go on and ignore the severe cases and go on with our own lives. Making families, hanging out with other people - stuff that severe sufferers actually may never know. The problem here, is that people with crippling anxiety are on a completely different level of pain and suffering than the types of ppl you mentioned.
> 
> Just tell them the truth. There are ppl that will die alone. With anxiety. They just want you to accept them in this. Treat them like people too. (Not speaking directly about you, mm, normies in general.)
> 
> As far as normies, Yh, they are NOT people that fit this definition:
> 
> Isolated people don't relate to to types of people you mentioned. And the bigger problem... they don't relate to us either. It's not recognized the difference between functional but uncomfortable people, and debilitated people with life shattering anxiety. Imagine, no friends, no relationships, isolation. _There are groups that protest when inmates face it._


I have changed significantly in the last two years.....I didn't have to have sex or get married to prove it! That's my point.

I have friends, people I can talk to. I am FAR more outgoing than I used to be - and it is my personality! I can also take a ton of criticism from people on here and not have a blistering panic attack.

It's the MINDSET, not the SEX!

Until people realize that how we THINK determines how we FEEL, we can't get anywhere!


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## millenniumman75

Gojira said:


> @*don*
> 
> I wish you were right, but it's simply not the case.
> 
> *Some of us are unfixable.* And it's better to accept that, and be there for us in that process.
> 
> Work, and relationships, whether it's friends or S.O.'s, it's not going to happen for me. I tough it out at work till I burn out and can't do it anymore. Relationships, I talk to girls . I approach. It doesn't matter. I'm ****ed up. I'm anxious, awkward, and nervous. NO CHANGE.
> 
> Other than these two areas, I have changed a lot, so I know what change is. I've been able to move out from my parents after being isolated and jobless for the first half of my early twenties, from 19-23. I did it by staying at ****ed up jobs that made me miserable. And not accepting money help from anyone - I wanted to say I did it on my own. I have made the moves I thought I should have. Looked good on paper. It doesn't matter.
> 
> I'm just alone in a bigger place.
> 
> I am tired of this.
> 
> Believe me. I'm one of the ones that's tried my nuts off, as much as I can in the area I'm in, and with the cards I'm dealt. That's life. It's what you do.
> 
> But part of life is also adapting. And part of this adapting is accepting the truth of my circumstance. I will not make progress in social matters, no matter what I do.
> 
> You are right, things could change. I COULD GET A STROKE OF LUCK. It wouldn't be from me, or my doing. Not from my hand, or my self determination. It would be chance. A roll of the cosmic dice.
> 
> The honest truth is, some of us with social anxiety HAVE died alone, whether people want to see that or not. It'd be nice if we just got some understanding before we did.


No one is unfixable. You have to know what to do and where to go.


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## Staticnz

millenniumman75 said:


> I have changed significantly in the last two years.....I didn't have to have sex or get married to prove it! That's my point.
> 
> I have friends, people I can talk to. I am FAR more outgoing than I used to be - and it is my personality! I can also take a ton of criticism from people on here and not have a blistering panic attack.
> 
> It's the MINDSET, not the SEX!
> 
> Until people realize that how we THINK determines how we FEEL, we can't get anywhere!


:clap:clap:clap

When we aren't discussing politics perhaps we see more eye to eye than expected.


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## millenniumman75

minimized said:


> Staff Edit


Uh, I remember all too well what it was like to have severe SA.
I would go whole nights without sleeping due to worry.
I could go days on limited food due to the nerves.....and I run like crazy!
I was in the fetal position rocking and BEGGING the thoughts to stop.
I would stutter and hyperventilate when speaking.

......and to find out that over 90% of what I worried about NEVER HAPPENED!

Yeah, that sounds like someone wanting to isolate, but I have news for you.

We have bad thinking. Our reaction to people is the problem and it's also the solution. Talking to people means watching THEIR reaction to things and seeing how THEY relate. Eventually, you can bounce ideas off and see how altered our thinking really is.


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## Royals

Good that it did something to you. But in gerneral I don't get this hurry to be loose your virginity. Self development, losing fear and requiring more self esteem are much more important. One time sex is not everlasting love. We only hurrry because of pressures of society, the media, parents and friends. And because we think it magically solves all our problems.


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## McFly

Great thread, nice to see something positive resulting here



millenniumman75 said:


> I have changed significantly in the last two years.....I didn't have to have sex or get married to prove it! That's my point.
> 
> I have friends, people I can talk to. I am FAR more outgoing than I used to be - and it is my personality! I can also take a ton of criticism from people on here and not have a blistering panic attack.
> 
> It's the MINDSET, not the SEX!
> 
> Until people realize that how we THINK determines how we FEEL, we can't get anywhere!


Also a great post, glad you're better off and this is a good example that it's never to late to fix yourself.


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## minimized

millenniumman75 said:


> Uh, I remember all too well what it was like to have severe SA.
> I would go whole nights without sleeping due to worry.
> I could go days on limited food due to the nerves.....and I run like crazy!
> I was in the fetal position rocking and BEGGING the thoughts to stop.
> I would stutter and hyperventilate when speaking.
> 
> ......and to find out that over 90% of what I worried about NEVER HAPPENED!
> 
> Yeah, that sounds like someone wanting to isolate, but I have news for you.
> 
> We have bad thinking. Our reaction to people is the problem and it's also the solution. Talking to people means watching THEIR reaction to things and seeing how THEY relate. Eventually, you can bounce ideas off and see how altered our thinking really is.


You don't seem you would have been sick like me. You at least have a job and clearly a following on here. I mean, I'm so inconsequential I'm like a super saiyan except in reverse. I take it to a whole new level. Problem is, it's the basement level. Few people in the universe can ever master such invisibility techniques. Not even the crappiest jobs in the universe would have me. Society has no use for something so broken.

Broken things can be mended - but things that are broken beyond repair get tossed into the trash.

I might as well print out the first post and read it as I fall asleep, because it's a fairytale.


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## Surly Wurly

this thread needs more fan art


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## millenniumman75

minimized said:


> Staff Edit


It doesn't make any difference - we all have to overcome this thing.
Don't give yourself hopelessness by comparing yourself to other people.


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## minimized

Cassoulet94 said:


> Staff Edit


Not blind. Realistic.


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## Cassoulet94

minimized said:


> Not blind. Realistic.


No. I meant blind. Otherwise i would have written realistic. But i wrote blind.

But anyway, your thoughts create your reality. So if you have ****ty thoughts, you ll have a ****ty reality.


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## minimized

Cassoulet94 said:


> No. I meant blind. Otherwise i would have written realistic. But i wrote blind.
> 
> But anyway, your thoughts create your reality. So if you have ****ty thoughts, you ll have a ****ty reality.


I'm not blind though. I can clearly see what my situation entails. What it has always entailed.

It's not really true. My situation was ****ty before I even understood reality. Changing my thoughts isn't going to help me speak, or figure out how to make a living, or make my brain work, or make me desirable, or make people interested in me. The inner optimist I was raised to be lied.


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## harrison

Cassoulet94 said:


> No. I meant blind. Otherwise i would have written realistic. But i wrote blind.
> 
> *But anyway, your thoughts create your reality. So if you have ****ty thoughts, you ll have a ****ty reality*.


I agree. It's all about attitude.

Finding the courage to change is bloody hard. Even for the strongest of people. For us it's worse - but that doesn't mean it can't be done.


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## harrison

minimized said:


> I'm not blind though. I can clearly see what my situation entails. What it has always entailed.
> 
> It's not really true. My situation was ****ty before I even understood reality. Changing my thoughts isn't going to help me speak, or figure out how to make a living, or make my brain work, or make me desirable, or make people interested in me. The inner optimist I was raised to be lied.


So what do you do now?


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## minimized

don said:


> So what do you do now?


I don't know. Continue on as long as my counselor will have me. Continue on in group pretending I'm capable of learning anything. See what the medicine man has to say on Thursday. Then maybe I can find a way to get a job at last.

THIS IS THE BEGINNING. Okay, maybe not...


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## Surly Wurly

minimized said:


> Not blind. Realistic.


i know you feel bad, and i dont wanna dispute that you hate your life and all that stuff. im sure youve had a rough time man, i aint disputing that.

but to say that you will never get better is being "realistic"? i dunno man, i think maybe there are ways of thinking about that, which you havent thought of yet.

ive seen really, really messed up people who spent hours crying every day and generally just crashing from one breakdown to the next, reach a point in their lives where they can go to college, get their qualifications, get a relationship, all that stuff. now, if you had asked them in the middle of their several-year breakdown cycle, if they thought going to college, passing exams, and being in a relationship for a few years (its still going) were in their future, dyou think that would have seemed "realistic" to them?

for me myself, i spend so much of my time nowadays engaged in things which would have been COMPLETELY UNFEASIBLE to me just a few years ago.

the point i'm making is, like, do you think that in your current state, no doubt struggling with all kinds of depression and anxiety and probably lifestyle difficulties too, do you think that you are well placed to forecast what the rest of your life is going to be like? because theres no way you can "realistically" think that you know how your life is going to turn out.

a lot of my progress just _happened_. i had to look at myself one day and think "omg how is this happening". a lot of it i had to work for but you make all kinds of progress that you dont even realise sometimes.

dude, dont limit your future with this assumed outlook of doom. theres no psychologist in the world thats enough of a genius that they can figure out how your life is going to go, but somehow you have it sussed out? nah man, it just isnt like that.

i hope things start turning around for you buddy. and i hope one day this post seems less annoying to you  im not trying to rub your face in it. im just saying, sometimes its good to be wrong.


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## minimized

Surly Wurly said:


> i know you feel bad, and i dont wanna dispute that you hate your life and all that stuff. im sure youve had a rough time man, i aint disputing that.
> 
> but to say that you will never get better is being "realistic"? i dunno man, i think maybe there are ways of thinking about that, which you havent thought of yet.
> 
> ive seen really, really messed up people who spent hours crying every day and generally just crashing from one breakdown to the next, reach a point in their lives where they can go to college, get their qualifications, get a relationship, all that stuff. now, if you had asked them in the middle of their several-year breakdown cycle, if they thought going to college, passing exams, and being in a relationship for a few years (its still going) were in their future, dyou think that would have seemed "realistic" to them?
> 
> for me myself, i spend so much of my time nowadays engaged in things which would have been COMPLETELY UNFEASIBLE to me just a few years ago.
> 
> the point i'm making is, like, do you think that in your current state, no doubt struggling with all kinds of depression and anxiety and probably lifestyle difficulties too, do you think that you are well placed to forecast what the rest of your life is going to be like? because theres no way you can "realistically" think that you know how your life is going to turn out.
> 
> a lot of my progress just _happened_. i had to look at myself one day and think "omg how is this happening". a lot of it i had to work for but you make all kinds of progress that you dont even realise sometimes.
> 
> dude, dont limit your future with this assumed outlook of doom. theres no psychologist in the world thats enough of a genius that they can figure out how your life is going to go, but somehow you have it sussed out? nah man, it just isnt like that.
> 
> i hope things start turning around for you buddy. and i hope one day this post seems less annoying to you  im not trying to rub your face in it. im just saying, sometimes its good to be wrong.


Thanks. It's not annoying. I would love to be wrong about it for once...

Being here for 8 years, moving at a glacial pace (if at all)... talk about really messed up, no psychologist in the world is genius enough to unravel this mess, heh. I'm not used to things just happening for me.

I just don't have the confidence to think that anything can truly change... after all those dreadful years only to be passed on to a greater incompetence in addition to being so inconsequential, I'm not left with much more than fumes. I don't really break down, just continue on the meandering path of quiet existing. It seems unrealistic to think that that happened for so long (to what gain?), but not that that trend is likely to continue.


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## Surly Wurly

minimized said:


> Thanks. It's not annoying. I would love to be wrong about it for once...
> 
> Being here for 8 years, moving at a glacial pace (if at all)... talk about really messed up, no psychologist in the world is genius enough to unravel this mess, heh. I'm not used to things just happening for me.
> 
> I just don't have the confidence to think that anything can truly change... after all those dreadful years only to be passed on to a greater incompetence in addition to being so inconsequential, I'm not left with much more than fumes. I don't really break down, just continue on the meandering path of quiet existing. It seems unrealistic to think that that happened for so long (to what gain?), *but not that that trend is likely to continue.*


i concern myself a lot with trends. like, im monitoring how i behave and how things are going and how i am coping and all that stuff. but its bad, like, i just use up so much thinking time tracking all that guff.

i dunno man, i do know what yuo are saying. if theres hope for you, its that you dont know how quickly things can turn around, and sometimes, it can be easy, not hard, you can have a breakthrough without even trying, sometimes things just go that way.

seriously man i was living an insane life of pure garbage for a long time, things got a lot better for me. its really hard for us to understand how our personalities can change, so its hard to feel hopeful about that. but when things are at their worst i can sometimes say to myself "well what the hell do i know?". humans are pretty bad at understanding themselves, and so when everything is grim, theres always that doubt, that you might just be thinking about stuff the wrong way.

i do sympathise man, and i hope you get some good feels coming your way before too long ^-^


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## shyvr6

These posts belittling other members by calling them normies and the who has it worse posts in general need to stop or violations will be issued. Also, please stay on-topic.


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## MortimerRush

No offence, I mean good for you. But just because you beat it doesn't mean everyone can. It's different for everyone.


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## harrison

@Surly Wurly - fantastic posts mate!  And @minimized- I hope things turn around for you a bit soon, don't lose hope - sometimes it's all we've got.


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## minimized

don said:


> @Surly Wurly - fantastic posts mate!  And @minimized- I hope things turn around for you a bit soon, don't lose hope - sometimes it's all we've got.


Thanks. After everything that happened, I did lose all hope. Can't seem to get it back. Still struggling with a lot of fear, worry, and uncertainty. Even if some good things have happened from being here. Even then I end up feeling like I'm one step away from losing it and being alone all over again...



shyvr6 said:


> These posts belittling other members by calling them normies and the who has it worse posts in general need to stop or violations will be issued. Also, please stay on-topic.


In case I contributed to the who has it worse posts, I apologize. Yeah, I've been here 8 years and know that isn't okay and I never intentionally make those sorts of posts. It wasn't my intention to belittle anyone's experiences.

As for being off-topic, that too. Just having a moment.

SAS is a great place.


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## McFly

shyvr6 said:


> These posts belittling other members by calling them normies and the who has it worse posts in general need to stop or violations will be issued. Also, please stay on-topic.


So does that mean we can stop seeing 'normie' posts from now on?

Thank god


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## ilsr

Gojira said:


> It's definitely less anxiety though, OP said it himself "I haven't been here since". "Only back because I want to see how much I've changed."
> 
> The people without life crippling SA - able to function in society - create a family, meet an S.O., live life - albeit a somewhat nervous one- they still want the attention of the label. While people like iCod with severe anxiety and isolation, are ignored, just like irl. SAS wants the normies because it's parent company needs the revenue.
> 
> What @*iCod* is saying, is that there are people who honestly will not have success. That's life. We like to tell them they will though, because it actually makes ourselves be able to go on and ignore the severe cases and go on with our own lives.  Making families, hanging out with other people - stuff that severe sufferers actually may never know. The problem here, is that people with crippling anxiety are on a completely different level of pain and suffering than the types of ppl you mentioned.
> 
> Just tell them the truth. There are ppl that will die alone. With anxiety. They just want you to accept them in this. Treat them like people too. (Not speaking directly about you, mm, normies in general.)
> 
> As far as normies, Yh, they are NOT people that fit this definition:
> 
> Isolated people don't relate to to types of people you mentioned. And the bigger problem... they don't relate to us either. It's not recognized the difference between functional but uncomfortable people, and debilitated people with life shattering anxiety. Imagine, no friends, no relationships, isolation. _There are groups that protest when inmates face it._


this, it's rare to see someone lay it out so well on SAS. another thing is standards. some of us come from different backgrounds. I was like top 2% in my high school class so when I went off to college, everything shattered. no sas back then. finally I realized the docs and therapists knew nothing about this and years later after the unhelpful usenet and bbs trollers in the 90's confusing and getting their kicks slamming alt.shyness/socialphobia sufferers I realized I was a social retard from the beginning where I could see it went terribly wrong since preschool.

it's standards too. I wasted a couple of years in a mental group home with half-retarded bums, where the only interested women were like 29 (i was 19 then), overweight, froth when they talk, watching biker men from mars cartoons. Or a crazy 40 yr old who would make strange laughing sounds propositioned me. At work it didn't matter; women at work could see me not get along with male peers.i believe it's a matter of level of one's social influence at a certain socio-economic personal situation. i.e. passive zero social influence among peers is not going to get anywhere. anyways, Im out on a limb and I was anxious to post this, but just to confirm with Gojira and all the other lurkers.


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## Gojira

minimized said:


> Thanks. After everything that happened, I did lose all hope. Can't seem to get it back. Still struggling with a lot of fear, worry, and uncertainty. Even if some good things have happened from being here. Even then I end up feeling like I'm one step away from losing it and being alone all over again...
> 
> In case I contributed to the who has it worse posts, I apologize. Yeah, I've been here 8 years and know that isn't okay and I never intentionally make those sorts of posts. It wasn't my intention to belittle anyone's experiences.
> 
> As for being off-topic, that too. Just having a moment.
> 
> SAS is a great place.


Before you apologize too much, remember that there isn't going to be a severe isolation subforum for those that need it :stu

This whole "normie" issue is a result of staff lumping everyone's problems together, when there are many different issues related to anxiety that people face, but on SAS, it's a one size fits all term.

Staff fails to recognize the longer they leave these issues unaddressed, the longer they simmer.


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## MissIndependent

LOL. OP, your post got my attention... 

Hehe, I didn't need to read details about your first time..... but it makes perfect sense you were so excited, what a major confidence boost!

Nice to hear your story, and happy for you!!! Love conquers all


----------

