# Ever been called out for being too quiet in class?



## Xisha (Apr 19, 2015)

One of my teachers just did this to me in class and I completely froze in my seat. I thought he was talking about the whole class in general when he made a remark about not enough participation but then he turned and stared at me when he said it and there was just complete silence while everyone else stared at me and I just froze because _everyone_ was staring at me.

Why would _anyone_ think that's a good way to go about it! I don't participate much because I genuinely don't know the answer most of the time so I listen to him and the other students or take notes and then research them when I get home and _that's_ how I learn. I was fine with him getting me specifically to answer questions (even if I didn't know) as a way to get me to talk but then he just threw me out in the middle of nowhere with this!

Ever happened to anyone else before?


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

No. My teachers all had too many unruly kids in class and were busy trying to figure out how to get them to behave.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Yes. :sigh The teacher actually threatened me with a lower grade if I didn't start raising my hand and participating more. And it's not like I was inattentive/disruptive or a bad student--prior to that, I'd always gotten A's and B's, and I was a goody-two-shoes.

Humiliated and ashamed, I nevertheless started raising my hand more often. And...the teacher wouldn't ever call on me! :x

That's the only time in my life that I got a C- and didn't make the honor roll. More annoyingly, it was some weird aimless class called "Quest" and to this day I still don't understand what the point of it even was. That lack of understanding, and not my anxiety, was the main reason I didn't raise my hand much--I had no idea what was expected! :|


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## lonerroom (May 16, 2015)

Xisha said:


> One of my teachers just did this to me in class and I completely froze in my seat. I thought he was talking about the whole class in general when he made a remark about not enough participation but then he turned and stared at me when he said it and there was just complete silence while everyone else stared at me and I just froze because _everyone_ was staring at me.
> 
> Why would _anyone_ think that's a good way to go about it! I don't participate much because I genuinely don't know the answer most of the time so I listen to him and the other students or take notes and then research them when I get home and _that's_ how I learn. I was fine with him getting me specifically to answer questions (even if I didn't know) as a way to get me to talk but then he just threw me out in the middle of nowhere with this!
> 
> Ever happened to anyone else before?


Thats awful I'm sorry that happened to you. What did you do after that? I hope you recovered.

I had that happen too, it was a different situation but it was humiliating all the same. 
When I was 17/18 I was new to my college and I could not find my art class, I was too shy to ask anyone so I spent 2 days looking for my class and when I finally found it I was way behind with that class, and I did not understand what the teacher was talking about since I was late and I did not know which equipment she was talking about and I was going through my box and she got mad and called me out infront of everyone, it was so humiliating, after she turned around to talk to someone else, I packed and left and dropped the class for the semester because I was behind already and humiliated. 
In a different drawing class, the teacher wanted everyone to mush together to look at some objects on the table, and that made me uncomfortable so I sat in the corner then she called me out too and said I had to stand with everyone else to see the angle. That was also humiliating.


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## Xisha (Apr 19, 2015)

lonerroom said:


> Thats awful I'm sorry that happened to you. What did you do after that? I hope you recovered.
> 
> I had that happen too, it was a different situation but it was humiliating all the same.
> When I was 17/18 I was new to my college and I could not find my art class, I was too shy to ask anyone so I spent 2 days looking for my class and when I finally found it I was way behind with that class, and I did not understand what the teacher was talking about since I was late and I did not know which equipment she was talking about and I was going through my box and she got mad and called me out infront of everyone, it was so humiliating, after she turned around to talk to someone else, I packed and left and dropped the class for the semester because I was behind already and humiliated.
> In a different drawing class, the teacher wanted everyone to mush together to look at some objects on the table, and that made me uncomfortable so I sat in the corner then she called me out too and said I had to stand with everyone else to see the angle. That was also humiliating.


Well I guess it's really not that big a deal in the long run now that I've had time to get over it because it's not like I should let him get to me but I still don't really feel like going to his classes anymore. Might just do the rest of the class online for now or at least until I feel like going back.

And ouch, sorry that happened to you. I understand that they're only human too and we all make mistakes but I wish they'd just be that little more considerate of individuals.


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## TumblrAddict (Jan 12, 2015)

When I was in 7th grade my teacher gave me an award for being the quietest person in my class. He was giving out silly awards to random people to be funny, but it still kind of sucked.

Now that I am remembering I also got one when I was a sophomore in high school. What is it with teachers giving out humiliating awards?


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## chapis (Apr 10, 2016)

Xisha said:


> One of my teachers just did this to me in class and I completely froze in my seat. I thought he was talking about the whole class in general when he made a remark about not enough participation but then he turned and stared at me when he said it and there was just complete silence while everyone else stared at me and I just froze because _everyone_ was staring at me.
> 
> Why would _anyone_ think that's a good way to go about it! I don't participate much because I genuinely don't know the answer most of the time so I listen to him and the other students or *take notes and then research them when I get home and that's how I learn*. I was fine with him getting me specifically to answer questions (even if I didn't know) as a way to get me to talk but then he just threw me out in the middle of nowhere with this!
> 
> Ever happened to anyone else before?


I do exactly the same. I don´t understand so quick like the others, but in my house I read or research slowly and I understand enough well.

And your teacher is an idiot. Why the need to exposing you?


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## Q003 (Jun 24, 2015)

Some teachers were OK with me not talking, others disliked me for it. One teacher once told me I'm just sitting there like a plant.
Also, because I had good grades, other people in my class kept complaining to the teachers that they should lower my grades because I didn't talk.


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## The Condition of Keegan (Feb 1, 2016)

TumblrAddict said:


> When I was in 7th grade my teacher gave me an award for being the quietest person in my class. He was giving out silly awards to random people to be funny, but it still kind of sucked.
> 
> Now that I am remembering I also got one when I was a sophomore in high school. What is it with teachers giving out humiliating awards?


Man I wish I had that type of teacher when I was in school. I was always quiet but I was called on anywa6 and I would think "****". When I was in 5th grade when I got my report card back, my teacher wrotexi needed to learn to speak more.


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## jacobmikiya (May 2, 2016)

My 9th grade math teacher found it hilarious to put me on the spot. I hated that guy.


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## user2017 (Feb 8, 2016)

Yes, I think it has happened to me at least once every ****ing year. Last time one week ago. I just hate it.


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## Str (Jun 4, 2013)

It happened to me a lot as a kid because I was very shy, but even now I'm starting to have similar situations, because I just don't know much. I get stuck with words a lot, even with friends and family, and my brain blocks easily when I have to explain something to anyone, even when I feel comfortable. I don't have a lot of trouble doing presentations when I know a lot about the subject and when I'm well prepared, but at university I feel like I have the life experience and problem solving ability of someone 8 years younger than me.


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## JohnDoe26 (Jun 6, 2012)

Yeah. Goes hand in hand with the "why are you so quiet?" by my peers.


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## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

Not at school but for the first 3 months at work i was very quiet would say hello that it but i work with women who have kids my age so they would talk to me and tell to speak more but they would keep trying to get me to talk so now i talk alot i am now been told shut up haha that only about 6 people the rest of the staff of dont talk to unless i have to but few months ago there was a staff happy hour that i refuse to go to and i found out from one of the staff that i was the topic of that happy hour and a about 5 other staff after that said you been here 5 years and still are shy how will you get a girlfriend been like this
Then another new guy came up to me later and said hey mike how are you i said good thanks then he said i heard you are a shy boy is that true this was in front of 8 other staff
People dont think i wonder why he is quite maybe there a reason nah lets call him out on it and make him feel worse i was so mad that day that i wanted to quit


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## The Punisher (Mar 24, 2016)

Q003 said:


> Some teachers were OK with me not talking, others disliked me for it. One teacher once told me I'm just sitting there like a plant.
> Also, because I had good grades, other people in my class kept complaining to the teachers that they should lower my grades because I didn't talk.


Wow that actually sucks that some people will complain to a teacher to lower your marks!
A Holes


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## hmweasley (Sep 12, 2013)

I cried in class once because one of my professors talked at length in front of the whole class about how she was tough on me and put me in positions to make me talk so much because she saw how much potential I had and wanted to see me grow. It was nice of her and mortifying at the same time.

Another professor, earlier in college, talked to me privately that she was going to have to dock my presentation grade if I didn't speak up more. I actually really appreciated that because it really did lead to me talking more in class.


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## Ichimatsu (Apr 8, 2016)

yeah, my 6th grade social studies teacher hated me for it and always told me i needed to "participate more." yeah whatever


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## aragog (Apr 22, 2016)

This happens to me all the time!

I cannot just think of an answer on the spot. I need time to think and reflect, and then I might have an answer. But when I am called on, my thinking process simply shuts down and I panic. Why do teachers/professors feel the need to do this? Like Susan Cain said in her book 'Quiet', classrooms only cater to the extrovert ideal. As for an introvert (with social anxiety, to top it off), it's hell.

Even if I do have an answer, I cannot bring myself to say it.

I wish I knew how to tackle this!


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## aragog (Apr 22, 2016)

Str said:


> It happened to me a lot as a kid because I was very shy, but even now I'm starting to have similar situations, because I just don't know much. I get stuck with words a lot, even with friends and family, and my brain blocks easily when I have to explain something to anyone, even when I feel comfortable. I don't have a lot of trouble doing presentations when I know a lot about the subject and when I'm well prepared, but at university I feel like I have the life experience and problem solving ability of someone 8 years younger than me.


Oh wow I can relate so much. I'm at university too and in situations like this, I feel like a little child.


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## Str (Jun 4, 2013)

aragog said:


> Oh wow I can relate so much. I'm at university too and in situations like this, I feel like a little child.


What do you think your career will be like after you've graduated? In my case it feels like most things I learn at university are useless without the social skills and general ability to solve whatever problems I encounter. I really wonder in what jobs people with social anxiety and no high level academic skills end up.


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## Perspicacious (Jun 28, 2015)

Teachers in my school don't care about participation so long as you don't cause disturbance. However, that doesn't mean I don't get asked why I'm so quiet. It happens a lot. I'd just respond with things like "If I wanted to say something, I wouldn't hesitate to." Which usually sends the message "mind your own business, and leave me alone."


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## aragog (Apr 22, 2016)

Str said:


> What do you think your career will be like after you've graduated? In my case it feels like most things I learn at university are useless without the social skills and general ability to solve whatever problems I encounter. I really wonder in what jobs people with social anxiety and no high level academic skills end up.


Luckily for me, my field is software engineering, where independent work is quite valuable to create software solutions. I guess the main problem in a full-time career is to make those solutions known to others. Without social skills it's going to be really tough. As you said earlier that you don't have trouble doing presentations when you're well prepared, this might aid you a lot in a career, because you can present your own work to others effectively.

But team meetings, brainstorming sessions, etc. are all going to be hell. I don't know how I'll fare. At least, I'm confident in my technical abilities. For those with more severe anxiety, I suppose any job (especially in today's teamwork-focussed world) will be mental torture.


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