# Just what the heck is sexual tension?



## WTFAust (May 26, 2011)

Please elaborate.

I mean, is it when people talk about sex?
Or is it like when people are close and start physically touching each other? 

I ask because I see loads of examples of boys and girls talking about touching their butts, sitting on their laps etc. Well, not necessarily talking about it, but hinting at it and stuff.
It's almost like all the boys at my school have this "connection" with at least one other girl, who they are "lose" too.
Except for me of course.

Don't get me wrong, I talk to loads of girls, and can handle females physically just fine. Emotionally and psychologically however, My mind is reduced to nothing but a rabble of WTFAusts trying to assert their opinions. Like a stock market meeting.

Is it like flirting? How do people actually achieve this "sexual tension" phenomenon? Every time I try to do it I fail and get seen as a pervert.
I'm not very "close" to many people emotionally, so maybe I just lack experience.


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## JGreenwood (Jan 28, 2011)

You can't "achieve" sexual tension. It's an unspoken feeling between 2 people who are attracted to each other. It can be detected through a look, a slight touch, a smile, or something as simple as a laugh. It's not flirting, but the sexual tension sometimes leads to flirting. Hope that helps.


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

When two people have an urge to **** each others brains out..(or do anything else that is sexual), but dont(for whatever reson). This "tension" makes things uncomfortable for them because they both want to do something, but can't/won't.


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## Retronia (Dec 18, 2011)

In my opinion, sexual tension is between two people loving each other. I mean, you dont feel a sexual tension in some girl you just met and want her in your bed. Thats just hormones. And maybe your friends are lying. At that young age, you cant even know what sexual tenssion is 
You will be mature, more experienced


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

I've been wondering about this too....if someone keeps staring at you, and quickly looks away when you look at them, does that mean they are checking you out?
Also, when you make eye contact, and someone gives you lovey eyes....are they coming onto you? This is not in my head, I swear. Their eyes glisten. This has been happening more than ever lately. It makes me feel awkward,so I look away..


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## Intron09 (Jan 25, 2012)

I believe I have this with someone. She's touched me softly several times, and has wanted to go out and do activities. We went for coffee 2 or 3 times (nerve-wracking for me). She's asked about my personal life, and given me her number (disguised the purpose for doing it).

We haven't been "out", as in dinner or movie or something. I also think she's been single for a very long time, and doesn't have male friends.

I can definitely sense sexual tension even though we havent been on a date. And I think it's because I'm so passive at making a move, that it's constantly there. But it might not last much longer if I keep up this "I'm just your friend" bit.

If I could be some other guy with confidence in himself, I _would_ be dating her/had sex with her. All I can do now is fantasize....:|


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## identitycrisis (Sep 18, 2011)

JGreenwood said:


> You can't "achieve" sexual tension. It's an unspoken feeling between 2 people who are attracted to each other. It can be detected through a look, a slight touch, a smile, or something as simple as a laugh. It's not flirting, but the sexual tension sometimes leads to flirting. Hope that helps.





ccoop said:


> I would say its unspoken sexual attraction between two people that causes stress or awkwardness or something like that.


Pretty much what these guys said.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

It's when two people reaaalllyy want to sleep together but either can't, won't, or don't.


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## WTFAust (May 26, 2011)

Retronia said:


> In my opinion, sexual tension is between two people loving each other. I mean, you dont feel a sexual tension in some girl you just met and want her in your bed. Thats just hormones. And maybe your friends are lying. At that young age, you cant even know what sexual tenssion is
> You will be mature, more experienced


Nope. They aren't lying, I have seen it with my own eyes at school and stuff. But the rest of what you said sounds legit.



Kathykook said:


> I've been wondering about this too....if someone keeps staring at you, and quickly looks away when you look at them, does that mean they are checking you out?
> Also, when you make eye contact, and someone gives you lovey eyes....are they coming onto you? This is not in my head, I swear. Their eyes glisten. This has been happening more than ever lately. It makes me feel awkward,so I look away..


I feel your pain. Well, I don't really (no one's eyes have EVER glistened when staring at me), but I understand what you mean.



JGreenwood said:


> You can't "achieve" sexual tension. It's an unspoken feeling between 2 people who are attracted to each other. It can be detected through a look, a slight touch, a smile, or something as simple as a laugh. It's not flirting, but the sexual tension sometimes leads to flirting. Hope that helps.


It does, but it leads to loads more questions:

How can you tell if sexual tension is felt between two people?
How can you tell if this is NOT sexual tension?
How do you embrace the tension? Or repel it? 
Why does this tension occur?
How old do you have to be to understand the properties of sexual tension?
What are the properties of sexual tension in the first place?
Why might sexual tension NOT occur with certain people?
Is one sided sexual tension possible?
Do we need sexual tension for any possibility of romance?
If yes, then why is this so?
Isn't unspoken feelings of attraction achievement of sexual tension anyways?


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## WTFAust (May 26, 2011)

Barette said:


> It's when two people reaaalllyy want to sleep together but either can't, won't, or don't.


That seems legit.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

Oh sexual tension, It can be between two people which do sleep together, but can not at that particular time. Around people and so on.


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

It can be the build up to sex and usually is. It stems from flirtation and attraction.


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## Eia Au (Jul 13, 2010)

I experience sexual tension in my body when I am looking at the person I am attracted too, like I am turned on a little and know that they are feeling turned on by me too.


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## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

Something no one in their right mind would ever feel for me


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## WTFAust (May 26, 2011)

Double Indemnity said:


> It can be the build up to sex and usually is. It stems from flirtation and attraction.





Eia Au said:


> I experience sexual tension in my body when I am looking at the person I am attracted too, like I am turned on a little and know that they are feeling turned on by me too.


So... It's just the idea of sex flying around in people's heads, but not actually being explicitly stated?
What's the point in that? Oh wait, it's probably one of those social etiquette things.


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

WTFAust said:


> So... It's just the idea of sex flying around in people's heads, but not actually being explicitly stated?
> What's the point in that? Oh wait, it's probably one of those social etiquette things.


The fact that it's not being explicitly stated is the part that it makes it cool, fun, hot, and or a combination of all those things. If I weren't on my phone I would link the scene from Pulp Fiction when Vincent is talking about foot massages. YouTube it.


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## WTFAust (May 26, 2011)

Double Indemnity said:


> The fact that it's not being explicitly stated is the part that it makes it cool, fun, hot, and or a combination of all those things. If I weren't on my phone I would link the scene from Pulp Fiction when Vincent is talking about foot massages. YouTube it.


The burger scene is better in my opinion!
But I get what you mean.


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## WTFAust (May 26, 2011)

joinmartin said:


> It's a certain type of rapport between two people. A connection. It tends to begin with the spark of attraction (physical or combined attraction) between two people. It's not necessarily that people are denying their desires for one another or being prevented from expressing them. It's just that there's a friction between two people that isn't a bad thing but is nevertheless a heat, a force etc.
> 
> If you want to light a fire you'd take the match and try and get it to spark. You'd rub it up and down on the back of the matchbox trying to get it to spark and light up and burn. That's basically sexual tension: the process of the ignition of the fire of passion between two people.


I see. So how can you tell if this "tension" is taking place?
Can one sided tensions work?
And how do you foster this?


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

It's when two people who see each other regularly are hot for each other but are not exactly upfront about it.


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## WTFAust (May 26, 2011)

joinmartin said:


> It's more likely that one is able to feel the sexual tension between two people. This sort of thing can be misinterpreted but opening up of the sensory acuity, use of the emotional and social intellect and general body language reading can usually help people see sexual tension in action.
> 
> One sided tensions would be very dodgy and perhaps even come across as "odd" to the other person. Best if there's two to tango on this one (two people involved).
> 
> Consciously creating this sort of tension between yourself and another person is a tough business. There is no instruction manual. If you fancy someone and they fancy you back then there's a good chance sexual tension can be created between you so long as the desires are not fully repressed and you're not denying fully that you have feelings for the other person.


All of this sounds hard to understand... Meh, I'll just continue and see what happens.


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## roylee1970 (Dec 11, 2011)

It's what happens when I'm driving through farm country


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## jaydee7780 (Aug 22, 2010)

jsgt said:


> When two people have an urge to **** each others brains out..(or do anything else that is sexual), but dont(for whatever reson). This "tension" makes things uncomfortable for them because they both want to do something, but can't/won't.


hello

i actually have this problem with a girl at work , we flirt alot i say sme means things to her eg i really hate you , she says some means thing back to me , im abit awkard with her but i think she likes it lol,she even said your bloody awkard, i ignore her sometimes when im abit pissed at her

she ignored me but i do it by purpose ,eg when i saw her and another girl go home i said really loudly bye to the other girl and she looked at me just to piss her off

one time i ignored her /hid from her for like 2 weeks she got really pissed at me and said why? don,t you talk to me anymore , make sure you say bye to me when you leave , it turned me on soo badly i wanted her there and then lol

i fantasized about having sex with her alot even look at tall skinny girls porn sorry ladies

sometimes im nice to her i say stuff like i really miss you she ges really happy lol, sometimes i say her friends looks pretty hott,

i mean maybe we want to **** eachother brains out i don,t know , she keeps telin me she does not have a boyfriend, maybe its all in my head 
shes 18 im 25 , i,ve always had a problems attracting younger girls cuz i look really young

im 5'11 and she taller then me and really skinny , which i find really sexy, she even wears glasses sometimes i told her she looks really sexy in them she blushed lol

please help me


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## confused2012 (Jan 28, 2012)

InfiniteBlaze said:


> Something no one in their right mind would ever feel for me


that hit close to home


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## DubnRun (Oct 29, 2011)

just remember the poem: wanting to **** without the luck


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## CWe (Mar 7, 2010)

I know you wanna bang me and i know i wanna bang you!


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