# Still no social life / sophomore in college. Please help if you can.



## eschaton (Oct 18, 2012)

I am currently living in Puerto Rico. I have been living here for about 4 years and I do not have anything that resembles a social life. I eat alone every day and I spend every weekend inside my room. 
I live this way essentially because I feel overwhelmingly uninvited. I feel that I have no right or reason to be anywhere in public. Right now while typing this, I feel that people on this very forum won't want me here because I do not have as much social phobia as some or any real advice to give. 
The only thing I am very comfortable with is music. I would love to bring my guitar to school and just play, but I feel that since I don't have a legitimate reason to do so, like playing with other people or taking a class that requires me to bring it, people will think, "Why did he bring his guitar? He is just trying to show of, He clearly doesn't have anyone to play with. etc". 
I live a block away from what may be the most social street in all of Puerto Rico, but I don't dare go there because of the fact that I am going alone and I don't know anybody there. Therefore it is painfully obvious to anyone there that I am socially inferior to them. (No one goes alone unless they are already known in the town) I have made several attempts to go out, buy a drink and talk to someone, but long story short, it never ends well. I always come back extremely sad with even more evidence of how ****ty my social life is.
During class a lot of girls give me signs that they want me to talk to them. I am actually not bad looking at all. However, since i have no social circle, no job and no clue how to start a conversation, every scenario that runs through my head ends in them finding out how pathetic and broke I am. 
I am not expecting anything from this forum, but if you have read this far I would like to thank you. Also, my go to social move is to share my soundcloud page (Kinda like facebook for musicians) so I won't treat you any different.

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https://soundcloud.com/


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## marthatav (Jul 26, 2012)

Force yourself to do things you don't want to do.
I mean if you're not bad looking, and girls dig you, you're approachable.

If you don't have SA that bad, give it a try 
Best of luck.


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## eschaton (Oct 18, 2012)

Not to get all negative nancy, but I am really starting to worry that this pattern of eating alone and spending half the week locked in this room will continue until I graduate. I have not once seen another person eating alone and I feel super weird when I do it. It's almost unheard of here in puerto rico. I got a job today at the puertorican version of taco bell so by two weeks i should be capable of taking a girl out. I am just very worried because I don't see why a girl would stick around someone with literally no social life.


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## marthatav (Jul 26, 2012)

You're attractive I guess, and maybe she sees something in you. Maybe she wants to break you out of your shell... If she still hangs out with you after all, there's something about you that is catching her attention... maybe she doesn't care that you don't have a social life.
Is it important to? Does it matter? From my point of view, she want's to get to know YOU.
And it will stay the same until you do something about it. Obviously it's not gonna get better if you are gonna be stuck in your room. If this girl is so interested in you, tell her you have social anxiety. 

And, she mostly likely will be understanding about it.
Girls are more understanding than guys are I guess.


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