# I don't want to work, ever



## novabagel

I'm eighteen years old, I finished secondary school when I was sixteen and haven't done anything since then. I tried sixth form, I lasted 4 days before I stopped going because it was horrible, I hated it and it made me suicidal again. Since then my anxiety has gotten worse, I freak out just going to the supermarket now. I rarely leave the house and my anxiety sky rockets when I have to go into town.

My dad wants me to get a job, I live with just him and he's been pressuring me for years and I hate it. I've never wanted to work, I've never been able to find something I want to do. I never thought I'd even live past fifteen years old, I was very depressed and suicidal when I was in school, and I _know_ that will come back if I start working. It went away over the holidays after I finished secondary school and came back within four days of sixth form if that's not enough proof.

I don't know if its an anxiety thing, or a depression thing, but I just don't want to work. I would much rather be a housewife...yet I'm asexual and aroflux so that won't happen. I don't care for money, the only time I want it is when I want to get new plugs and tunnels for my ears. I just want to stay at home and live in my own personal bubble where I'm most comfortable. I'm comfortable not seeing anyone, I have one friend and I haven't seen her since july. I leave the house maybe two or three times a month and that's it.

Is anyone here like this? I just don't know what to do with my dad constantly pressuring me to work and it just makes me freak out and cry.


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## paladin

I feel like this is a depression thing. I rejected society for about a year after sixth form. You need to stop making decisions based on what makes you less stressed and more on what will get you a future. Clawing your way back will be one of the hardest things you will do but if you stay lonely, depression will inevitably eat you alive. My advice is talk to a GP and tell them how much this affects you. You have to get help if SA inhibits your life style and decisions. It takes months to be seen for CBT on the nhs so do it soon.


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## fonz

Well the truth is,most people don't want to work. I'm 28 and do work part time but I get the same rubbish from my parents. Work just doesn't interest me,never has. I certainly wouldn't advise you to just shut up shop and never work,but for the time being,maybe you should just say you've applied for a few jobs or at least looked in the paper,to please your Dad...


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## TruthAndOtherDisasters

Ugh. It's true. Especially if you have been or are depressed, you don't have desire to do much anyways, let alone work. And for most young people the transition between school and full time work is generally chaotic, hard and undesirable, because you have to find your ways through basic survival up to being fully independent, and there are things you just don't learn how to manage from school. 
I agree that learning how to manage your anxiety is a great idea. But you also have to understand that as long as you are dependent on someone else for your survival/living expenses, of course they will be concerned with you getting your own money eventually. So the only way not to get that pressure from your dad, is figure out how to take care of yourself- and then what you do with your time is your choice.
While you are getting better, if working with people is such an issue perhaps look for jobs that have less human interaction, or jobs online. Or if non of that is an option, well then get anxiety medication and work to gather savings that will allow you to take time off enough to seek better job.
And if you want your dad off your back, perhaps make a plan of how to deal with the situation. Knowing you have a plan may ease his mind, and then he won't push you to follow his plan.
I know none of this sounds easy, but it's more long-term solution. Of course you can lie to your dad about what you did, but there are only so long that you can spin going to interviews without actually getting anything. And the pressure of the lying itself may make your anxiety worse.


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## Farideh

You will have to work if you don't get married.


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## PenguinNinja

Try a job such as shelf stocking at Walmart. Especially third shift if you want to interact with as few people as people. There is a relaxing quality to stocking shelves. It frees up your mind when you are focused on a task. I'm under the impression that the people who work at Walmart are fairly laid back and easy going. They aren't going to care if you don't talk a lot. You will make money, and work build character, so you will also feel better about yourself as a bonus. And sometimes its good to do something that you would never think about doing.


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## sqiee22

I'm no doctor but I don't think you seem to be functioning well enough to start a job right now anyway, that doesn't mean you shouldn't try and get better though. I know being inside gives you that sense of well-being and safety that being outside doesn't, I used to find it exhausting even going to the supermarket not unlike you. However I knew that I could not live my life in such a way forever as it's inevitable that I have to provide my own means of living as I imagine do you. If you do end up in work you don't have to do it full time anyway. But I don't think you should focus on a job right now, you need to think about getting better, if that is ultimately what you want.


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## bruised

At the very least I think you should talk to a professional. It sounds like "you just don't want to" as you've repeated, and therefore you just don't feel like doing anything to help yourself even if you are capable of it. I've done tons of anxiety provoking, depressing things, and guess what, it sucked but I improved while you sat here and whined like a child.


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## EchoIX

You should get a job. If it's a job you hate, then it will bring you closer to finding out what you actually WANT to do. You'll hate it so much, you'll fantasize about a job that you love. You'll want to do that job just to hatefully spite the lousy job.
Also, work may not come in the form of jobs. Maybe there's something you like to work at.
For instance, I work out because I want to lose weight and be attractive. Once I meet this goal, I'm still going to keep doing it because it's become something I like to work on. I want to become a personal trainer and work for myself. But I have to look the part, and get the money to pay for courses and the certification exam. Then actually get to work doing the thing that's become such an important part of my life. Yes, this will involve no small amount of work. But it's what I want, taking steps to get there is the only thing I can do until I'm there.

Did I know what I wanted to do at 18? HELL NO. Take something part-time. If you're living with your parents, you're doing fine. In America we have this silly notion of pulling ourselves up by bootstraps, and it's just a trap. Work part-time, save some money while you live at home and find something you like and work towards that. Don't worry about the pressure. Life is all about people pressuring you.


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## HellCell

One day your parents are not going to be with you anymore, so what's your backup plan? I was in your situation at your age and eventually I started looking for jobs.
Wait a couple years, you'll be 20 with no job experience, the pressure builds. Then 25 comes around the corner and the pressure builds more, only getting worse with an empty resume. There's no getting around it, we live in a workcentric society


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## kiwikiwi

Buy some homes, live off the rent. Make lots of money online, repeat.


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## Joe

I just hate the world I live in, **** I'd love to work if it wasn't for something menial.

I'm miserable being unemployed NEET, don't recommend it personally. And likewise, I used to think "I'll just kill myself when it gets too bad" but yet I'm here. 

If I had the conviction for suicide, I'd probably have the conviction for life.


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## Orbiter

bruised said:


> At the very least I think you should talk to a professional. It sounds like "you just don't want to" as you've repeated, and therefore you just don't feel like doing anything to help yourself even if you are capable of it. I've done tons of anxiety provoking, depressing things, and guess what, *it sucked but I improved while you sat here and whined like a child*.


Great, such kind words.
So you are a fan of the tough love approach I assume?


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## Shinobi1001

I don't ever want to work either...well I have been working but I want to save up a lot of money and then retire at like 35 forever


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## TruthAndOtherDisasters

Shinobi1001 said:


> I don't ever want to work either...well I have been working but I want to save up a lot of money and then retire at like 35 forever


That is fairly possible actually, I've read on it, but from what I know it requires too much sacrafices for good amount of years.
Personally I'm too anxious to put such pressure on myself. But if you are positive and proactive, you can do it, though!
Good luck!


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## JohnDoe26

I was like you, 16, never wanted to work, put it off, and now in my late 20s, never had a job, have severe anxiety and agoraphobia. 

Don't be like me.

Do what you have to do to get better. See a doctor, visit some LGBT center that can offer you resources for your mental issues, build a support system. Otherwise (trust me), nothing will really change and it will only get worse.


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## TheGuardian

How do you plan on making a living though? It's time to step up and act like an adult, your dad can't/won't take care of you forever, what will you do when that stops? How will you live? Plus aren't there things in life you want to do? Traveling/Vacations/Anything fun? I don't want to work either but i want and need money, there are a lot of things i want to do in life. I don't like going out in public but someday i want to do fun things like skydiving/mountain hiking/traveling etc. Plus i want to live in my own place and not rely on my parents to take care of me. Staying inside all the time will just feed that depression and make it worse, trust me i've seen what it does to my mom, getting outside and facing your fears will be hard at first but after a while you will get over those fears and start getting happy. It's not an easy or fast process but it _will_ be worth it. You just have to take that first step.


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