# Techniques for improving conversational skills?



## Leimu (Nov 12, 2010)

Hi guys, I'm not sure if this is the right section of the forum to ask, but anyway...

So I have found this friend over skype with the same issues like me, and I was wondering if we can do something together that can be really useful - like ways to improve our conversation skills. To be more precise - our main problem is that we can get stuck for words very often, we cannot think of a topic to talk or a way to continue the conversation and, well, this sucks

Can you think of something, like, anything - techniques, ideas, etc, that we can do together to help ourselves (it can be in real life or over the internet, it doesn't matter)?


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## Brightpaperwarewolf (Oct 16, 2008)

Read the book "How To Start Conversations and Make Friends." Has a wealth of information that you'll subliminally capture when you try to talk to people. Helped me quite a bit.


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## ju_pa (Sep 21, 2008)

Read books it's a real deal. If your problem is fatigue then it's whole different story.


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## Carrie123 (Dec 26, 2010)

Does anyone have this problem? I have no idea how to participate in group conversations. I stopped eating in the teachers' lounge because I became bored listening to the same people dominate the conversation. However, it was never my turn to interject anything. Once I did and I got a comment that I was in the wrong for not waiting my turn. That's when I basically gave up and started eating in my office each day instead. Also, the person dominating conversation said how eating lunch with others energized her. It just drained me. But I wish I could sense patterns and know when it is OK to speak. It seems if I speak, someone more dominant chimes in at the same time or I am just somehow out of step with the conversation.


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## MattFoley (Dec 5, 2009)

^ whoever told you it wasn't your turn to speak is an ***. I get this though a lot too. I always wait so long to speak that I lose all confidence in my ability to do so. It even gets to the point where i stop caring and lose the motivation to even try. I've always found that if I don't start of strong and assertive things only get harder as the conversation goes on. It's something I try to practice but it's not easy


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## trevor35th (Oct 22, 2008)

My problem is when I don't know what to say, I'll just ask questions. Then I realize that I haven't really said anything; I've just asked a bunch of questions. It's embarrassing when I don't follow up.. Someone answers the question, and then it's quiet again. I'm too uptight when I have to have a conservation with a bunch of people or with someone I'm not comfortable with. I wish I could just relax and be myself. Then there wouldn't be so much tension in the room. Ughh..


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

slow talk helps alot


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## saara (Jun 7, 2010)

Carrie123- I'm the same. I always come in too late with a comment in a conversation, or I'm thinking for too long about if what I am preparing to say will be stupid and then someone else says it and my point is gone. I usually just up and nod my head and try to look happy and entertained when inside I am sad and want to run.:roll


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## Raul (Jan 11, 2011)

hi
I advice you to show keen interest in and be curious about those you talk with.Develop a balance between what you say and what you listen. Ask better questions from the others.Try to increase your vocabulary.


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## hulaa (Oct 4, 2011)

Trevor35th and saara, im exactly the same!
I either ask a load of questions or just say something really unintresting. Either way its not long before the conversation dies and becomes really forced and awkward.


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## ntdc (Jun 29, 2011)

try toastmasters


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## justinkl75 (Oct 12, 2011)

I know this isn't a technique but I've heard that the amino acid L-Tyrosine is supposed to help with this. It's supposed to make you more social and talkitive. So maybe if you took this you'd just automatically feel more talkative and wouldnt have to try as hard to think of things to say, might help a bit.


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## guppy88 (Nov 12, 2010)

Leimu said:


> Hi guys, I'm not sure if this is the right section of the forum to ask, but anyway...
> 
> So I have found this friend over skype with the same issues like me, and I was wondering if we can do something together that can be really useful - like ways to improve our conversation skills. To be more precise - our main problem is that we can get stuck for words very often, we cannot think of a topic to talk or a way to continue the conversation and, well, this sucks
> 
> Can you think of something, like, anything - techniques, ideas, etc, that we can do together to help ourselves (it can be in real life or over the internet, it doesn't matter)?


Funny you say this. I have this exact problem. I always say something dumb and everyone gets mad. I should probably get skype and start talking with you guys.


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## bluepelican (Nov 7, 2009)

ntdc said:


> try toastmasters


Yep, it's definitely helpful. But, what I think is even better for developing conversational skills is taking an improv class. It forces you to really listen to people instead of thinking of what to say next. Also, you don't have time to get stuck in your head because most of the time you just have to hurry and spit something out.


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## eletro (Oct 17, 2011)

Go out to bars and talk to people. The reason why this is great is that in a bar it's quite normal to approach random strangers and strike up a conversation. Over the course of a night out you can have dozens of conversations with all sorts of people. What's also great is that you'll never see these people again so it really doesn't matter if you're conversations suck at first, and most have been drinking anyway so they don't really care what you say to them. If you're talking to 5-10 new people a week, over the course of a year imagine how many conversations you would have had. This was the single best way I found to improve my conversation skills.


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## SHYartist13 (May 23, 2013)

*blank screen....*



trevor35th said:


> My problem is when I don't know what to say, I'll just ask questions. Then I realize that I haven't really said anything; I've just asked a bunch of questions. It's embarrassing when I don't follow up.. Someone answers the question, and then it's quiet again. I'm too uptight when I have to have a conservation with a bunch of people or with someone I'm not comfortable with. I wish I could just relax and be myself. Then there wouldn't be so much tension in the room. Ughh..


i feel similar to what you are feeling or going through. It just stinks to know that I am having so much trouble when it comes to loosening up when talking with others. I think some personalities just do not click very well. I guess we can not win every conversation. I know I think to much and worry about acting myself in front of others. 
:get


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