# Anyone missed out on being in a relationship as a teen or school years?



## Georgina 22 (Jan 4, 2009)

I did. Most people have at least had their first boyfriend/girlfriend in say year 8,9,10,11 on high school/college. Or had a casual relationship with a guy and held a guys hand or had their first kiss. 
I haven't had a relationship til' now. I am 24 and in a long distance relationship but have met him before and it was great to do all the things I missed out on doing as a teenager, like holding hands and sitting together and going on dates and kissing etc
So I missed out on it in high school. I was bullied by most of the guys in my year so when your the person thats shy and quiet and gets bullied it's sometimes difficult for you to form friendships/relationships with guys or you don't know how to because they may be friends with the people who bullied you. 
So I hadn't experienced what it's like to be 'loved' or 'make out' with a guy during my high school years. I am also kinda abit naive about 'relationship' related things. 
Though luckily the person I am with right now also hasn't had experience with relationships before so then you learn together.

Anyone else had this?


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## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

Yes. I didn't experience anything at all except for crushes until I was 25. My shyness kept me and the boys of my schooldays from making any moves beyond flirting. Had some extremely loose relationships after that. Once again my shyness caused problems, so I was unable to go very far with those. Now, like you, I have a long-distance boyfriend who I finally got to meet in person 12/29. We talked a lot before meeting and I think that made it that much more comfortable for me to actually be with him and go on dates and hold hands etc.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I'm 28, and never even kissed a girl. A relationship...forget it.

I believe some women find me attractive, but that won't help if my shyness is getting in the way.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

I did but consider it a good thing. Such distractions from my work and interests would not have been welcome. Interest was shown but nothing was done.

I've still not met anyone suitable. I always end up with the wrong people who quite frankly aren't good enough and seem to know it too. Maybe that's why they go for me. Therefore it feels like I am experiencing adolescence in a way.


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## RockIt (Jan 8, 2011)

I had a serious girlfriend for many years in high school. Many people even thought we would end up married. When I went to college, it all fell apart.

Looking back I am not sure if it was the best thing. It sheltered us some from the world around us, but we missed out on some things too.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

I've missed out on dating during all my years. I can now add my 20's to that list too. Dating is such a lost cause for me.


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## Syncsolo (Oct 26, 2010)

Yes I missed out on teenage relationships and young love. I remember feeling almost suicidal around 17, when literally everyone around me was in love or had lost their virginity. I had my first kiss at 21, been on a few dates since, a failed one night stand, then I turned 30 and it's been game over ever since.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

I never had a relationship.


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

Yes. I was picked on heavily at school. People even got picked on for hanging around with me, to the point where I had lost friends because of it. I probably could have had a relationship with a girl if I really wanted, but I was afraid she'd have gotten hassle for it. So I never bothered. I kind of wish I had the chance to experience an immature, childish relationship - constantly being around each other, referencing each other in our facebook statuses. Puppy love I guess you could call it. I wouldn't want it now because I'm older and transitioning into an adult. It'd be too weird for me.


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## Observer (Jan 1, 2011)

Sort of. I first started dating at 17 with a 23 year old woman. She was smoking hot, had an awesome attitude to life, intelligent and great in bed. She was every boy’s dream and a great introduction into adult life. It suited us fine because I looked a lot older at the time and many people considered us a serious couple. Man we had some amazing times. 

Did I miss out? No I don’t think so. I never really liked girls my own age when I was a teenager, too much youthful arrogance and tiresome melodramatics, I had a few girls ask me out but none of them were more than eye candy. I was considered to be the ‘mature’ guy at school (started shaving before the others, much better physique etc.) and I saw a lot of the girls my age as being childish, especially the ones who would try talking dirty just to impress a guy without actually understanding what they were saying. 

A friend of mine recently married the girl he’s been seeing since he was 16. They’re both in their 30’s now and while it sometimes sounds sweet, the idea of being with just that one person all this time (and now into the future) seems like an incredibly risky venture.


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## Georgina 22 (Jan 4, 2009)

sarafinanickelbocker said:


> Yes. I didn't experience anything at all except for crushes until I was 25. My shyness kept me and the boys of my schooldays from making any moves beyond flirting. Had some extremely loose relationships after that. Once again my shyness caused problems, so I was unable to go very far with those. Now, like you, I have a long-distance boyfriend who I finally got to meet in person 12/29. We talked a lot before meeting and I think that made it that much more comfortable for me to actually be with him and go on dates and hold hands etc.


Yeah, I am the same. I spoke to my boyfriend on Skype alot before we met in person. So we were comfortable around each other when we met and it was not ackward when we kisses/held hands, in fact it all just came naturally and when we first met it was like we were just meeting each other in town not for the first time in an airport.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

It didn't happen for me, but I don't think it matters much, I wasn't prepared to have any kind of relationship back then, and especially those shallow highschool type relationships. If I met a shy gal who was similar to me than it could have worked, but didn't see many girls around that I think I could have opened up to.


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## heyJude (Aug 1, 2009)

Yeah, me too. The guys avoided me like the plague back in my school years, save for the occasional flirt or two. I was more of the 'buddy-type', I guess. I haven't had any romantic experiences until I was 23...the first time I ever kissed/made out/held a guy's hand, etc. I'm still pretty new to this relationship stuff and I do worry that new guys I meet may judge me negatively for that. It's happened before.


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

Me too. This is depressing. I think this calls for an SAS orgy that leads to plural marriage.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

i never had a relationship till i was 18


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## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

Yip at high school mainly,one girl was my age and another was a year older both friends and they both wanted to get me:teeth
In class the girl that was the same age as me kept sitting next to me and got rather close,the older girl kept talking to me outside of class but I got serious nerves you know the knees shaking ect.Not much came from it because I was too shy.


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## fanatic203 (Jun 23, 2010)

Yeah, I missed out on just about everything during my high school years. I was so depressed. Luckily, I have my first boyfriend now, so I hope I can make up for lost time.


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## Black_Widow (May 23, 2008)

I didn't go out with anyone at all during my high school years. Generally back then guys showed no interest in me. At my first senior school they usually just made fun of me if anything, as I went through alot of bullying there. I did sort of get involved with a guy at my second high school. But only casually/briefly, and I realised very soon after it had been a big mistake. Unfortunately one that ended up ruining my reputation amongst alot of my school peers at the time, which led to more bullying. I was convinced for a long time after that bad experience I'd never find anyone willing to go out with me, though in the end did meet my first proper boyfriend when I was 16.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I do feel I missed out on something as most of my friends had those young love relationships in high school, one even got married shortly after it & now a few have kids together too. I had some short lived experiences then but nothing serious, it was more a matter of being with someone who liked me for a bit to get away from being teased about my lack of experiences I think. She initiated it & I just went along to see if something could come of it but in the end I just wasn't into her that way, she was my friend. There was general interest too so if I really pursued some gals I likely could have found or experienced what my friends did but part of me was too anxious, the other part not interested. Now I find I really would like to try having a real relationship with someone, we'll see if I can take my chance when it comes though.

@Georgina 22 - I think it's nice you've found someone & it's working well despite the distance factor


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## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

But of course. I was short, scrawny, ugly, nerdy, and awkward. Oh wait, still am. And still have zero real relationship experience.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

I've missed out on having any sort of relationship or even friendship with a girl my entire life. Most guys aim to have sex with a woman. I'm just aiming to have a meaningful conversation with a woman.


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

Yeah...I was badly bullied when I was younger. Other than a few friends I somehow managed to find, everyone else considered me a loser. It would have been social suicide for any girl to date me back then, not than any wanted to anyway. After high school my friends all started dating and getting married, while I got left behind. I'm 35 now and still haven't even had a first kiss. It hurts...I feel so empty inside not knowing how it feels to touch and hold another person. Thinking about it is extremely depressing so I work myself to exhaustion to avoid dwelling on it.


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## Breezzy (Jan 20, 2011)

i felt ive missed out. i missed prom and graduation ceremony and never went to any dances or any social even during middle school and high school. i missed so much school i never got to make friends, i wouldnt even say i went to school i never went for more than 2 months. when i was there some boys talk to me and ask me out but i just ignored them because i feared that if i talked to them or went out with them they would find out how extreamly shy i am and realize they shoudn't have asked me ha. And in middle school i did say yes to like two boys and thats exactly what happened is i never spoke to them or would hide when i saw them and not want to hold hands or anything because i didnt wanna be embarresed so then they eventually stopped talking to me as well. I am a little better now i think thou.


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## Kakaka (Apr 7, 2010)

Yeah, I had nothing as well. Rather jealous of those who did. Depressing seeing 13 year-old couples walking around and knowing they've probably had more experience than you.

I had some pretty unfortunate experiences. The worst being when I spent a long time fancying a friend who was also my mate's girlfriend. So incredibly frustrating, hope I never feel like that again. I never told her but it was most likely unrequited.

Quite a few of my friends are in the same position though, I find that somewhat consoling.


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## FakeFur (Nov 4, 2009)

I've never dated a guy before, or ever talked to guys at all. I even went to an all-girls high school, so literally never interacted with, or was ever around guys my age for those 4 years. 

By the time I entered college, I was convinced that no guy would ever be attracted to me, or would want to talk to me. Then I started to notice that a couple of guys would always look at me often, but I assumed that meant they thought I was weird. I've always been so naive about guys, that I didn't even know what certain obvious signs meant! They were probably hoping for some sort of signal from me, like a smile or something, but I didn't even know that (and I'd be too shy to do something like that anyway).


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## HannahG (Aug 31, 2010)

Boys never paid attention to me in high school. Nothing's really changed now. I was told once, a few years ago that this one boy in high school really liked me. I knew his first name but we didn't have any classes together. Apparently he was too shy to ask me directly but he made small talk with me a few times and had hoped I would ask HIM out. Problem is when he was doing that, I was really out of it. Depressed - it was when my sister was in the hospital with cancer. Apparently he knew and still wanted me to ask him out. I didn't know. I was a little preoccupied and distracted. By the time my sister got better apparently he had lost interest in me. Yeah...I seem to always have terrible timing.


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## rockyraccoon (Dec 13, 2010)

I've never had a relationship period.


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## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

rockyraccoon said:


> I've never had a relationship period.


Snap!


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## Timeofallout (Jun 23, 2010)

I was taught at home; my first relationship came at the age of 19 and has since been my last. So I've been in the cycle of being single once again for the last year and eight months.


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## Music Man (Aug 22, 2009)

rockyraccoon said:


> I've never had a relationship period.


Snap x2

I feel more confident talking to girls in general but as of yet, I've never had a girl show any interest in me at all.
I have shown interest in girls but they never respond in a positive manner, more of a 'can you go away, I don't want to talk to you' sort of thing.

I don't mind not having a relationship in school as I couldn't anyway; uni is harder, as there are so many nice girls but happen to have boyfriends and I don't have any dating skills (I don't have a clue at all about anything). 
When I'm on my own, I get on with work but when I see and hear girls talking about relationships they've had, I feel even more confused because I don't understand what they're saying.
I concentrate on my work but as I get older, the confused feelings get stronger because I'm not learning anything about relationships.
When I ask people about relationships, they always say 'I'm not telling, you're too innocent'; well thanks for that, because I'm trying to understand things and with your response, I still don't understand!

Oh well, whatever happens, happens


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## david tan (May 23, 2009)

I never ever had a relationship before. I am 25 now, almost 26.


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## purplefruit (Jan 11, 2011)

I missed out and I did feel left out. Up till now I still haven't been in a relationship, held a hand, kissed, danced with a guy.
I don't think anyone ever found me attractive or had a crush on me, either. Double whammy! :um


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## shynesshellasucks (May 10, 2008)

I have never been in relationship either. The fact that I was obese and had acne problems didn't help either. I couldn't connect with anyone or make any friends due to my lack of social skills. Bottom line if you are an unattractive guy with SA, you can pretty much forget about having a relationship with a girl, unless I settle with girls I'm not really attracted to.


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## amoeba (May 19, 2010)

Yes, of course. Luckily, robots do not desire such human interactions.

...or do they? :um


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## matt20 (Apr 22, 2010)

Went through high school without any real relationship. I took a girl to junior prom who asked me, but nothing more really happened after that. Now on my third year of college and it's just more of the same. I definitely feel I am more attractive now then those days, but still more of the same (nothing) and no clue how to talk to the opposite sex besides brief "small talk".


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## Silent Image (Dec 22, 2010)

Well one girl was flirty every day with me in classes, but she was one of those girls looking for attention from every boy. She failed the 7th grade and I haven't seen her since. I never got that kind of attention again.

I was actually approached by probably 5 girls from grade 7-12 that had an interest in dating me, but I was too shy. What the hell was I thinking?


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## StevenGlansberg (Apr 1, 2009)

Nothing for me.

I'm pretty much past being upset about missing out on prom and high school sweethearts and all that. I just don't get if ever I do want to get in a relationship with someone how I'm supposed to tell them oh yeah I have zero experience without them running away. It's a huge red flag.


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## KumagoroBeam (Sep 15, 2008)

I missed out on being a teenager in general.


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## purplefruit (Jan 11, 2011)

StevenGlansberg said:


> I just don't get if ever I do want to get in a relationship with someone how I'm supposed to tell them oh yeah I have zero experience without them running away. It's a huge red flag.


Agreed, if I ever end up dating, the idea of coming clean about my lack of relationship experience definitely freaks me out too. :afr


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## liso (Aug 15, 2010)

Eliza said:


> Agreed, if I ever end up dating, the idea of coming clean about my lack of relationship experience definitely freaks me out too. :afr


This is what I fear most. I've told one guy that I've never dated and he actually preferred that but most of the time I think guys think something is wrong with you if you've never had a boyfriend.

I missed out big time during high school. I never once had a boy interested in me (that I know of) and I never took the initiative. I'm so behind and have no idea how to actually have a boyfriend.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

Age 28 and counting.


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## robtyl (Sep 2, 2010)

liso said:


> This is what I fear most. I've told one guy that I've never dated and he actually preferred that but most of the time I think guys think something is wrong with you if you've never had a boyfriend.
> 
> I missed out big time during high school. I never once had a boy interested in me (that I know of) and I never took the initiative. I'm so behind and have no idea how to actually have a boyfriend.


At least you're 19. Try being 24 and being in the same position - and actively pushing away pretty girls who tell you they like you because you're too embarrassed to let them know you have no idea how to be in a relationship and are too fearful of being a disappointment since there are heaps of other guys in your same circle that are much cooler than you... and then upsetting them and coming off like a complete ar$ehole because they're actually really nice on the inside and not just the outside - but you can't bring yourself to do anything about it because you're petrified of looking pathetic (despite the irony in having already made yourself appear to be so). And then beating yourself up about it night after night because you have no way of avoiding this person and attempt to find the courage to do something about it but feel dread and panic over the thought of ever broaching the topic with her and looking like a pitiful fool.

And then thinking that perhaps things will always be this way and just wishing there was someone, somewhere that wouldn't judge you and would just understand you're a bit different and would actually like you despite your mild eccentricities and oddities - or even better, like you all the more for them. And would not compare you to all the other cool guys out there who you can never match up to and would not be disappointed in you when you turned out not to be anything like them.

Exams in three days. Back to work.

x


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## joe11 (Jan 22, 2011)

I have barely even come close to having a conversation with a girl let alone anything else. I even remember where I was out with a few guys once on the very rare occassion that I was and we went to a nightclub and they all danced with girls, brought their girls home and into their room etc. I was basically on my own the whole time once we went into the nightclub. I didn't even talk to a girl.

I'm almost 22 so yes I missed out on a relationship by quite a distance as a teen and in school and that doesn't look like changing anytime soon either and I am almost finished college. I was just thinking that today too. I feel like I lost those years of my life.


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## denverite (Dec 31, 2010)

-


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## Brightpaperwarewolf (Oct 16, 2008)

I had a 4 year gap between the last 3 years of high school and part of college without a girlfriend. 

I'm also going through a dry spell currently, 2 1/2 years without a girlfriend. I been getting some attention recently, I'm slowly learning what it takes, but I'm clouded with self-doubt, people look at being single that long as a strike. I want to be with someone that feels empathetic to my anxiety issues because she has it herself.


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## Yozo (Nov 19, 2010)

yeah...i'm a diminished adolescent.


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

Brightpaperwarewolf said:


> I had a 4 year gap between the last 3 years of high school and part of college without a girlfriend.
> 
> I'm also going through a dry spell currently, 2 1/2 years without a girlfriend. I been getting some attention recently, I'm slowly learning what it takes, but I'm clouded with self-doubt, people look at being single that long as a strike. I want to be with someone that feels empathetic to my anxiety issues because she has it herself.


If she doesn't have anxiety issues, she's gonna have something. We've all got issues, self doubt going on somewhere. Maybe not to mental disorder level but the human condition means we are all vulnerable to some extent.

People look at being single that long as a strike? Which people?

If you think someone likes you, go for it. They are, chances are, not going to care how long you have or have not been single. This is your life.


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## Georgina 22 (Jan 4, 2009)

Canadian Brotha said:


> I do feel I missed out on something as most of my friends had those young love relationships in high school, one even got married shortly after it & now a few have kids together too. I had some short lived experiences then but nothing serious, it was more a matter of being with someone who liked me for a bit to get away from being teased about my lack of experiences I think. She initiated it & I just went along to see if something could come of it but in the end I just wasn't into her that way, she was my friend. There was general interest too so if I really pursued some gals I likely could have found or experienced what my friends did but part of me was too anxious, the other part not interested. Now I find I really would like to try having a real relationship with someone, we'll see if I can take my chance when it comes though.
> 
> @Georgina 22 - I think it's nice you've found someone & it's working well despite the distance factor


hey thanks


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Yeah, try being 28 and never even kissed a girl. And try to explain that to girls.

I'm not even concerned that much about virginity anymore. After all, plenty of older people are virgins, and that's okay. Even Lady Gaga said that it's okay to be celibate.

However, the 'never kissed a girl', and the 'never been in a relationship', is a little harder to explain. Most people wouldn't understand SA, and how it can keep you from living a normal life.


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## joe11 (Jan 22, 2011)

WintersTale said:


> Yeah, try being 28 and never even kissed a girl. And try to explain that to girls.
> 
> I'm not even concerned that much about virginity anymore. After all, plenty of older people are virgins, and that's okay. Even Lady Gaga said that it's okay to be celibate.
> 
> However, the 'never kissed a girl', and the 'never been in a relationship', is a little harder to explain. Most people wouldn't understand SA, and how it can keep you from living a normal life.


Try not to worry. Although I am a few years younger I am the same other than that. I am sure there will be some girls who will understand that. Any girl who gets to know you and likes you, would not reject you for that reason. I am sure of that.


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## Brightpaperwarewolf (Oct 16, 2008)

joinmartin said:


> If she doesn't have anxiety issues, she's gonna have something. We've all got issues, self doubt going on somewhere. Maybe not to mental disorder level but the human condition means we are all vulnerable to some extent.
> 
> People look at being single that long as a strike? Which people?
> 
> If you think someone likes you, go for it. They are, chances are, not going to care how long you have or have not been single. This is your life.


Well women do. There was one date when I was just single a year, she asked me how long I was single and told her. She seemed so weirded out by that and it essentially ruined the date. Ever since then, it's been hard to be motivated to want a relationship. I just want companionship so I don't have the same expectations.


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## Sabriella (Nov 23, 2009)

Never been in a relationship.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Brightpaperwarewolf said:


> Well women do. There was one date when I was just single a year, she asked me how long I was single and told her. She seemed so weirded out by that and it essentially ruined the date. Ever since then, it's been hard to be motivated to want a relationship.


People judge based on their picture of the world.
Many take relationships for granted, so when your experiences are some they can't relate to, it creates tension and can make things feel unnatural, which is obviously bad in that situation.

I can't encourage people to lie, but it is probably something people need to be aware of. And while they hopefully won't think less of you for it as such, it does create hurdles and can make them stop seeing you in that role.


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

absolutely nothing. wooo


(no dates, no kisses, not even hand-holding)


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## Brightpaperwarewolf (Oct 16, 2008)

zephys said:


> People judge based on their picture of the world.
> Many take relationships for granted, so when your experiences are some they can't relate to, it creates tension and can make things feel unnatural, which is obviously bad in that situation.
> 
> I can't encourage people to lie, but it is probably something people need to be aware of. And while they hopefully won't think less of you for it as such, it does create hurdles and can make them stop seeing you in that role.


I know what you mean, but I refuse to lie. I'd rather die alone in honesty than live a lie with someone. That's no way to live. There is someone for everyone and one day I'll find that woman who can accept my honesty and not what they want to hear.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Brightpaperwarewolf said:


> I know what you mean, but I refuse to lie. I'd rather die alone in honesty than live a lie with someone.


I agree.
I'm a pretty honest person generally and just can't pretend in order to fit into some expected norm - gives me too many flashbacks to school, popularity wars and bullying.
Just have to find girls that can relate to us and our lives.. which really seems like a no-brainer, when put like that :roll


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## Destined2B (Jan 6, 2011)

Brightpaperwarewolf said:


> I know what you mean, but I refuse to lie. I'd rather die alone in honesty than live a lie with someone. That's no way to live. There is someone for everyone and one day I'll find that woman who can accept my honesty and not what they want to hear.


Really?Die alone in honesty? So it would be OK for others to lie, without you knowing, but you wouldn't allow that for yourself?
I really hope you're a religious person.


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## Scrumpilump2000 (Jan 24, 2011)

It all seems like such a pathetic joke! Relationships....without alcohol I'd be a virgin still, probably. Such drunken stupidity and regret on my part. 

Ah, I'm just depressing myself. There were some good leads....I just believed very strongly in my own ugliness and was mired down in social anxiety and depression for my whole teenage life.

Ah, I've got no more to say! Keep your chin up, folks.


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## Brightpaperwarewolf (Oct 16, 2008)

Destined2B said:


> Really?Die alone in honesty? So it would be OK for others to lie, without you knowing, but you wouldn't allow that for yourself?
> I really hope you're a religious person.


Absolutely. If everyone else chose to live their lives in lies, it's not my problem. I simply don't want to be around people who lie consistently, it's my choice. Everyone lies, you have to for survival. But the one area I want to feel I have no burden thinking I have to lie is to a person that you like or love? Honesty is a good feeling to me. Why would I want to feel bad trying to pretend?

I'm a very spiritual person and not at all religious btw.


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## BioHazard (Jan 24, 2011)

24 and counting.


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## Barnold (Nov 10, 2005)

heroin said:


> Age 28 and counting.


:ditto


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## angus (Dec 18, 2010)

Yer i've chickened out lot's of times.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

:hide 35


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## trendyfool (Apr 11, 2010)

17 and nothing yet...I think I'm almost ready though.


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## Tsubasa_ (Jan 31, 2011)

I have never been inside a relationship. Because of my brutal honesty towards myself, I stood out far too much from the crowd with regards to my behaviour, and didn't visually stand out because I didn't like to follow fashion. I also hated to conform to general opinions or generic mindsets for things (EG. Argumentum ad populum), so I never really socially connected with people. So with many other guys showing themselves with these traits and portraying themselves as available, they are often the more desired choice.
There's plenty of other reasons too, but I won't go into them here. This post would get far too long if I did that! lol. But add this on top of the fact that I often read and try to interpret people's motivation behind their behaviour to add to the social awkwardness fun.

So yeah, going on 23 and counting.


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## Teeelo (May 23, 2012)

I absolutely missed out in my high school years. One of if not the most depressing times of my life.
Pretty much laid the foundation for the next few years and forced me to understand what kind of future I held.
Some of you virgins 25 yrs and higher...how, I mean what are you still doing being able to function? It's hard is an understatement


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## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

Will be 20 in 2 months, and I've missed it. Too mentally and emotionally unstable be in one at this point though..


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

I actually did have a two weeks sort of relationship when I was 16. But really I do not count that as even a relationship..it was just dumb. I'm really glad I didn't do anything sexual in high school though.


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

I missed a lot of relationships that were pretty much served up to me on a silver platter.. denial and anxiety make for a lonely mix when you're young.


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## YahYouBetcha (Mar 24, 2012)

Teenage romance is stupid. i never bothered dating until i was 18.


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## 50piecesteve (Feb 28, 2012)

no, but i feel like im missing out at a time where life's supposed to start coming together and you meet someone special all my friends are married and have kids, and i've ran the streets for so long acting a fool, i don't know i just feel like im behind in life


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## Ashley1990 (Aug 27, 2011)

NOOOOoo...i was ugly,dark n shy that time




one jerk proposed me saying – would like to pass ur time with me n I said – nooo...i dnt like u
the other guy..he wasnt my type n stammered a lot..- I said ur like my brother...


n the one I had crush on wasnt interested in me


i was always lonely


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## nonethemore (Oct 18, 2010)

I did. In retrospect, I don't see it as something so terrible. I think even if I were to have had a relationship back then, it would've felt empty anyway and I would've been doing it more for the sake of fitting in. I think my present relationship has partly influenced that perspective and I might be thinking differently if I weren't in one right now.


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## Octal (Aug 2, 2011)

20 in a week, did I lose?


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## Luka92 (Dec 13, 2011)

I'm turning 20 in about two weeks. Never had a date/kiss/girlfriend/sex.


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## randomprecision (Aug 19, 2011)

Sometimes I still mourn the fact that I did not but in retrospect it was probably a good thing. I was a train wreck.


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## b0m (Oct 1, 2011)

Luka92 said:


> I'm turning 20 in about two weeks. Never had a date/kiss/girlfriend/sex.


+1, except i'm 20


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## Music Man (Aug 22, 2009)

YahYouBetcha said:


> Teenage romance is stupid. i never bothered dating until i was 18.


:teeth contradiction made me laugh!


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## ejmafive (May 16, 2012)

jizzz! i'm already in college and still have no experience at all. i'm desensitized about that fact anyway. cheers to all singles out there


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

I "missed out" in the sense that I never had one, but I don't regret it at all.


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## Soilwork (May 14, 2012)

Yes. 20 and still nothing.


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## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

I didn't date in high school, for reasons I mentioned elsewhere. Though I guess it sort of starts a foundation and gives an idea of the whole dating experience early on? It doesn't really matter, I started going out in college and felt it was a better choice for me. Not that it's any easier, I'm still extremely shy and anxious around guys lol.


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## Hewigi (May 4, 2012)

Never been in a relationship really, which sucks because I always wanted that high school not a care in the world relationship, anything from now on has to be more serious then that it seems.


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## theCARS1979 (Apr 26, 2010)

Yes , Ive been without a relationship. I didnt have one in high school which is probably one of the first relationships everyone ever has. I didnt go to college afterwards so I had nothing there to talk about either. I had about too semi relationships when I was 26. And not one of them took off cause there was no attraction which is mandatory in a relationship or forget it. I did a complete over haul on myself since then and still nothing. I went from 205 pounds to 170 and even gained a 1 1/2 inches in height. I just got a hair transplant and Ive been doing neurofeedback therapy for about 2 years. I hope that someday some girl will see the good in me. It gets really frustrating and depressing at times


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## Isolated Silence (Apr 16, 2012)

My teen years where a Nightmare for me right from the start, overwhelming shyness (still present), couldn’t get a girlfriend/relationship (still alone), People bullied/beat me up during my schooling years (still tormented by it), I had trouble concentrating at school, never had a friend (still got no friends) plus everyone seemed to hate me for some reason (I Never did anything to anybody) I just feal like I’ve missed out on so much..... Now I’m 24 and I’m still in anarchy and I’m sick and tried of being alone, but I doubt things will get any better.

I’m a lost Cause right from child Birth.


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## orchidsandviolins (Jul 8, 2011)

I certainly did. I was really shy, didn't really care about my appearance, awkward, and hated high school for the most part. It would bum me out a lot to think I missed out on it, but I came to college and a lot of great things happened. I've come a long way since high school and met a lot of people. I don't dwell on that part of the past anymore.


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## 17Racer (Jan 30, 2012)

I did. I didn't have my first girlfriend until after college. Before then I was too focused on school to get involved with anyone...and of course, found it too hard to approach anyone to even ask in the first place.


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## Corvus Cowl (Apr 25, 2012)

Never was in a "real" relationship with anyone during grade/mid/high school years. I do have some "what if" thoughts about it here and there, but I mainly just don;t care enough to have gone through all of the drama my friends were complaining about as they were dating.


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## Toppington (Oct 26, 2011)

Yup. Pretty much no way it'll happen at this point and I'm just being forced to slowly accept it. It's really my own fault though. I threw away any chance I had when I dropped out of school for online classes.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

Yes. I never had a boyfriend until my first year of college at 18.


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## hypestyle (Nov 12, 2003)

... yeah, missing out and only having crushes from afar, that was me.. I didn't drive during high school.. my parents didn't have a car... 
since early on, I wasn't the guy that girls were interested in "like that".. more often than not it seemed if I wasn't outright loathed, I was nominally respected as a straight-arrow and homework-literate, but not remotely in the category of potential "boyfriend".. 
by the time I was well into high school, I felt stupid at the prospect of trying to ask girls out.. hey I don't have a car, but I've got a skateboard, 4 wheel drive, let's hang out..
..this was a school with cross-county attendance, so your crush could literally live in an entirely different town.. to me (and my anxiety), that didn't make attempting to hang out anywhere but school practical.. (i had to catch a bus back home or walk for an hour).. 
.. so no homecomings for me, no proms.. even casual dating seemed out of the question.. I wasn't the "natural heartthrob, a comedian or the best athlete.. Geek culture wasn't "in" like it is now, so this was just a time to be lonely..
..since high school, my adult life just hasn't lent itself to regular interaction with single women of my generation.. I never have a "wingman", so trying to approach women that are alone or with a female buddy is too intimidating.. and now women "my age" frequently have children and/or are married, and if they're single at this point they have a much more narrow window of tolerance for dating challenges..


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Will be 30 in 7 months, and still no relationship.


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## Tomohiro3 (May 23, 2012)

I never had a relationship before (except for maybe one time where i had the chance as i mentioned elsewhere), and i had no relationship until this moment. I was never respected, nor liked (i only got a few friends, but i lost connection with most of them).
As i can remember, i was beaten down many times, even had suicide attempts. Still, i am convinced that i probably have done so much evil just by existing, that i cannot, may not, and will not have a relationship just because i don't want anyone to suffer. At some times, i think i keep doing everything against people without even realising it.

In short, never had a relationship, never will.
I'm 17 and i still haven't got used to loneliness, which beats me down. Sometimes i think that "love" should be banned as feeling, but then i get back to reality...


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

I missed out on a lot in high school. I often like to say I would change a few things, but don't necessarily "regret" how things turned out. That seems to be a healthy point of view. The trick is trying to focus on the present/future and improve yourself.


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

i havent even been on a date yet and im 18.... freinds and family are always telling me that girls are checking me out and sometimes they are.... but most of the time i think they are saying that kind of stuff so i will approach them and ask them out... i dont think i could be in a "healthy relationship" tho cause i dont open up to people in person....there are a few girls that i have liked and liked me back but for some reason with girls the better they get to know me its like the more i close down.... Maybe im trying to hide my sa cause over the years of gotten pretty good at appearing normal on the outside as long as i kept my coversations short and concise and people just end up thinking im a normal guy who is just very direct in a polite way but the closer people get to me the more i start to get nervous around tehm and then i end up talking even less than i did before... what makes it worse is that the girls who i know liked me were always the more popular and talkative ones and alot of people who know me said that that was a good thing cause im quiet and we would balance each other out, or complete eachother in a way... but it never was really like that cause the more they talked the more nervous and uncomfortable they made me..... it like a vicious cycle.... the more they like me, the more i end up pushing them away even tho i would like to get close to them


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## Class (Nov 6, 2011)

My parents, especially my dad, didn't let me date in high school. I don't mind much - didn't then - because I didn't like anyone back in high school, either. Still nada.


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## Donnie in the Dark (Mar 15, 2011)

Up to now I have been pretty chill about this.

But now I have just turned 19 and am Kind of desperate to have a relationship before I leave uni.....


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## Tomohiro3 (May 23, 2012)

I'm starting to hate relationships lately, i mean, what's the point?? It's not starting for anyone whose future has nothing to do with any of that. And even if, by any miracle, you'll be involved into one, it'll be over eventually.
Another thing is that some people are losing the real conception of relationships. I thought the main reason is to be happy with another person, but it keeps turning into something like if relationship is a super-cool device that, just by its existance, makes the whole humanity inferior to the device's user. "If you're single, you're less than a human", simple as that.
I had to go through f***load of school bullying just because i had no GF in my life. Not only i regret wasting my life on trying to fight my former class because i still ended up losing somehow, but i also regret all my atempts to stop being single. I know that i'm to young to just judge stuff like that (i'm 17 btw), and i cannot decide for anyone else, but just for me, i think that relationship is completely obsolete and, in some cases, too dangerous to handle due to personal reasons.

In short, I'M OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP STUFF, AND IF NOT FOREVER, THEN FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE.


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## callalilly26 (Jun 13, 2012)

I feel as I missed out on a lot during the days of high school. I never had a boyfriend and no guys were interested in me during high school. I always wanted to have a high school boyfriend just to have that experience. When I had my first boyfriend at 19, he treated me like crap, and really destroyed me. We didn't even date for that long but I had no idea how to handle a relationship. I dated a lot but never anything serious or long term until my long distance relationship that went on for over a year. And that just became codepedent, because I was foolish and did everything for him meanwhile he would never do anything for me. I never knew what a healthy relationship was and I kept falling into things that didn't last long or were awful for me. So today, I do not have a clue of how to have a healthy long term physical relationship because it hasn't happened yet. 

And I blame not ever having the experience in high school and the low self esteem of being picked on or not acknowledged. I always had this dumb dream in high school of having a date with some boy and him bringing me to the fair. It never happened, but I would have loved that. Man, I missed out on a lot...

My 20's are just as bad if not worse because I'm completely judged for being single. 
Annoying. So I'm just going to try being happy single. All I have is me until the end anyway!


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

callalilly26 said:


> I feel as I missed out on a lot during the days of high school. I never had a boyfriend and no guys were interested in me during high school. I always wanted to have a high school boyfriend just to have that experience. When I had my first boyfriend at 19, he treated me like crap, and really destroyed me. We didn't even date for that long but I had no idea how to handle a relationship. I dated a lot but never anything serious or long term until my long distance relationship that went on for over a year. And that just became codepedent, because I was foolish and did everything for him meanwhile he would never do anything for me. I never knew what a healthy relationship was and I kept falling into things that didn't last long or were awful for me. So today, I do not have a clue of how to have a healthy long term physical relationship because it hasn't happened yet.
> 
> And I blame not ever having the experience in high school and the low self esteem of being picked on or not acknowledged. I always had this dumb dream in high school of having a date with some boy and him bringing me to the fair. It never happened, but I would have loved that. Man, I missed out on a lot...
> 
> ...


Your experience sounds quite a bit like mine. I didn't really have a relationship during my high school years, though I did start a long-distance one just before graduating. I missed out on a lot due to fear of the approach.


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

I'm 31 never had a relationship, never dated etc. I missed out on my teens because firstly i was busy battling anorexia and attending weekly couunselling, my shyness/social anxiety, and then i took up cycling which took my time and my interest away from girls.

Now at 31 i have missed out on my twenties too. I'm going to be a 40 year old virgin:afr


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## Tommy5000 (Jun 18, 2011)

Yeah...almost 24 now and never been in a relationship.


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## UndreamingAwake (Apr 11, 2011)

Yup. First kiss only at 20, first gf also at 20. Never had much interest from girls, or maybe I didn't see it. Didn't make moves myself because I was bullied at the time, and that has left a couple of marks, though it's gotten better.


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## Venkska (Oct 29, 2011)

Nah not really..I just don't see the point in a relationship right now as its just about sex right now in highschool. I'll wait until then.


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## twisterella (Jun 14, 2012)

I've never had a boyfriend and I'm sad that I never got to have one in high school. I was very much in love with a classmate, but he was not interested in me then. He did show interest a few years ago though, but I think I'm too insecure to have a relationship. 

I've dated a few guys, but I always had to drink alcohol before I met them. That didn't feel good at all so I just stopped seeing them.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

gaz said:


> I'm 31 never had a relationship, never dated etc. I missed out on my teens because firstly i was busy battling anorexia and attending weekly couunselling, my shyness/social anxiety, and then i took up cycling which took my time and my interest away from girls.
> 
> Now at 31 i have missed out on my twenties too. I'm going to be a 40 year old virgin:afr


It's MANorexia and it is just as bad as anorexia. It's a growing problem among men. 

You have almost nine years - you still have your looks.

I have three years and four days until I turn 40. I don't look it, not even gray hair! Blond eyebrows bleached in the sun, but no gray hair! Thanks to my maternal grandfather :yay


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

I didn't have a boyfriend in high school, but I wouldn't say I "missed out" on that experience. I had great friends and amazing experiences; having had a boyfriend at the time would've been an annoyance. Some of my friends did and they were constantly bickering, fighting, or asking the BF/GF if they could do X or Y. 

As for college, I go to an all-women's school and I'm not gay, so it's unlikely it'll happen in the next year.


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## callalilly26 (Jun 13, 2012)

It sucks we didn't get the similar experience to what most others had :-( But on the bright side, at least we can all relate to each other :yes



srschirm said:


> Your experience sounds quite a bit like mine. I didn't really have a relationship during my high school years, though I did start a long-distance one just before graduating. I missed out on a lot due to fear of the approach.


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## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

It still hasnt happened for me. As you can see from the other thread, my crushes are never interested, so it hasnt happened ever. If guys are interested, I usually dont like them in that way. I keep thinking that guys who are interested have an agenda and are trying to use me or hurt me in some way. I know thats horrible for me to think this way, but more than 80% of the time the guys who do like me are creepy or weird. Those types scare me. So I dont date, but would like to one day if I can find a guy who is not creepy.


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## hypestyle (Nov 12, 2003)

i'm planning on making some changes, later in the year.. especially as things get closer to me graduating with my bachelor's.. me not finishing school has been a major private embarrassment and a contrubutor to my SA..


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

millenniumman75 said:


> It's MANorexia and it is just as bad as anorexia. It's a growing problem among men.
> 
> You have almost nine years - you still have your looks.
> 
> I have three years and four days until I turn 40. I don't look it, not even gray hair! Blond eyebrows bleached in the sun, but no gray hair! Thanks to my maternal grandfather :yay


It's rarer for males to have the condition. Thankfully i got counselling and was cured within the same year i suffered it, though i still felt guilty for a long time about eating certain foods like i wopuld not eat any junk food at all for a few years.

Well yes you still have your hair touch wood, and you look like Prince William....But with more hair obviously! Who knows you might find a Kate Middleton lookalike!


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> It still hasnt happened for me. As you can see from the other thread, my crushes are never interested, so it hasnt happened ever. If guys are interested, I usually dont like them in that way. I keep thinking that guys who are interested have an agenda and are trying to use me or hurt me in some way. I know thats horrible for me to think this way, but more than 80% of the time the guys who do like me are creepy or weird. Those types scare me. So I dont date, but would like to one day if I can find a guy who is not creepy.


What is our definition of creepy? I mean socially anxious/shy guys can appear creepy because of the awkardness.


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## hippiepixielover (Oct 25, 2012)

Nice to know I am not the only one who missed out.no-one wanted me when I was a teen,I was shy and was made fun of,by the time I was 15 I was a recluse.I couldn't understand what was wrong with me.why wasn't I getting any attention,why did I never get a valentines card,why did no-one want me?I took it that I must be hideous and have something seriously wrong with me that I couldn't see so I hid away.I wish I could go back and try again.watching teen dramas and coming of age stuff is always upsetting cos I have no concept of young love.it prob isn't as good as I imagine it to be and now I have found my soulmate I shouldn't be so bothered by it,but the truth is I am.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

I've never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl. I have had girls that were attracted to me but I've always been very shy. There was one girl that I liked that liked me but I didn't live there very long.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

Yea me too, I think I was more into relationships between the ages of 4 and 10 than what I was in high school years.

I know in the primary school years I had quite a few girlfriends but was too young to be serious. Then as I started secondary school I became a jerk. Dunno what it was, perhaps it was early signs of SA where I found it hard interacting with the new kids at school, so instead I would join the "silly" kids and rip the fun outta people (perhaps it was because I found it easier to go round being immature, rather than make conversation with people). I was such an idiot because when I started people thought I was a cool guy and tried socialising with me (even some hot girls) but by then end most people hated me.

Even college was a fail. I had no social skills so again let myself fall in with the immature group.

It was only around 18, when I started drinking, that I realised my potential. Some hot girls in clubs kissed me, had some relationships, lost my virginity. Realised I cant be that bad looking, and ditched my waste of space mates. Only thing now is I have to do everything on my own


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## x Faceless x (Mar 13, 2011)

I didnt get a boyfriend until age 20, but I'm actually happy about that so it worked out.


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## Cyclonic (Oct 25, 2012)

Never even got close in high school

College, a couple times, but never on a relationship level


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

I got extremely lucky because my crush asked me out over MSN when I was 17.

If it wasn't for that, I would be in the same boat as a lot of you. Honestly though, it ****ed me up more than it did good, so consider yourselves lucky.


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## MNM (Oct 3, 2012)

Yep


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## hydinthebasmnt (Aug 26, 2012)

I went to very strict all girl schools and not having a BF was actually the norm. Having sex was frowned upon, so I do not think I missed out on that. My parents never allowed me to date anyway.
I was lonely, mostly because I didn't have many close friends. I first went to school with boys when I went to college. Some of them liked me, and I had no clue about how to even talk to them. I basically spent my teen years alone and listening to music and fantasizing about my life getting better.


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## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

I'm still missing out. I had a girlfriend for like 2 months when I was 16, but that's about it. It makes me incredibly depressed to realize that most middle schoolers have more experience with the opposite sex than I do. I really feel like I wasted a lot of my youth. All I can do right now is keep my head up and hope that I have an incredibly fulfilling rest of my life. *crosses fingers* lol


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## Username4 (Oct 25, 2012)

19. Been on one date. Doubt it'll change.


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## whatyoumustthink (Apr 25, 2012)

Yeah, I totally missed out on it, and it haunts me a lot. I wasn't just one of the least popular in my year, rumours spread that I had some kind of learning difficulty (when I don't), so all 200 or so of these people never saw me as being on the same mental level as them anyway.

I remember struggling to find anyone in my own year who could look past my reputation, or talking to me like I was a child. School was hell on the basis of that in many different ways, but when people started teasing me about how it would be absurd to go out with me because the mainstream view was that I had the mind of a baby, it killed me. Gradually, the problem got bigger - people in the years below began to pick up the same story and tried their hardest to dismiss me too, and finally noone in my town wanted to go out with me because the reputation would never go.

Over the years, I did ask girls out, and it just ended in mockery from other people, mockery from the girls themselves (don't get me started), their opinions being poisoned, or then when I got to sixth form girls I met in general just said "no" of their own accord anyway. The concept of rejection was drilled into me. 

I did envy the other guys who had a girl who said they "loved" them and actually cared for them, and I envied my later friends from other schools who didn't understand why it was so hard for me. I think primarily because it made me see that it was possible to loved, admired, be cared for, make someone else happy... the adverse reaction of what I triggered in the opposite sex. It destroys your confidence, because you're left with no experience. And with no experience, you have no confidence. Rejections build up and in the end, you have nothing. All the while, people make those snide comments about how I'm "missing out" from sex or relationships. To be honest, sex doesn't mean a lot to me, but they don't get that it wasn't a f*cking choice to be a social outcast and not regarded as relationship material.


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## deadkittens (Jan 19, 2010)

i didnt date in high school and i didnt even go to high school. who cares about teenage relationships. they are shallow and meaningless. adult relationships are where you actually have meaningful contact with someone.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

I've never had any adult relationships either. I feel like I'm just worthless.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

WintersTale said:


> I'm 28, and never even kissed a girl. A relationship...forget it.
> 
> I believe some women find me attractive, but that won't help if my shyness is getting in the way.


I'm 24 & in the same boat dude.


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