# CoWorkers Think I'm Stupid



## TiberiusGavier (Aug 15, 2017)

I'm not entirely sure why I am on here or why I am creating this post. I've gotten rather annoyed all together and I think it would feel better just to type it all out and send it off into the void.... so I suppose that is what I will do.

I have never particularly had issues with people thinking I'm stupid at work. I may act goofy and awkward (since social interactions are very difficult for me) but at all my jobs people have realized that I am a good worker and treat me well. However, at my "new" job all of my coworkers treat me like I'm stupid and it has not gotten better even after a year's time.

Backstory: So I started a new job one year ago. It is an extremely difficult and high-pressure job. More than one site has said that it is one of the most challenging jobs out there and that only a very few people have the skills and abilities to do it. I applied for the job and eventually decided to accept it because I thought it sounded fun, it seemed to me as though I could do it, and it payed extremely well for someone so young. I started the training in the job (which lasts about six months).

Training was utter torture...but that is to be expected with training. You never know where anything is or what to do, and everybody treats you like you are stupid. After a few months of this, I was actually VERY close to quitting because I hated the way people would talk to me as though I was a child and how the trainers would whisper behind my back about what on earth they were going to do because I wasn't catching on. The truth was that I eventually I understood the job, but I was just so uncomfortable with all the people judging me that it was difficult for me to perform the way they desired when they were literally watching and critiquing every move I made literally every second of every day. 

But thankfully I made it out of training somehow. Conditions immediately improved, as people were no longer judging me constantly and explaining things to me as though I was a retard. People still treated me like I was stupid, but I figured that would improve as I learned more and became more comfortable.

I did become more comfortable. I understood my job completely now and I feel as though I do good work. I have very good evaluations each month. However, my coworkers treat me as though I am some stupid child in the room. No matter what I say - anything at all - they have to disagree with me and explain to me why my point is wrong. They'll even be talking about something and so I'll agree with them, and then just add a quick sentence confirming what they said in my own words so that I appear to be engaged in what they are saying - and then they'll argue with me about that (the very thing they had just been saying was true themselves). And these are things that don't matter. These are things like I like McDonalds - and they'll explain to me in utter detail why McDonalds is disgusting. Or I'll say that I really like a certain TV show - and they'll all bully up on me and laugh as they explain why that TV show is stupid and pathetic and why it is for dumb people. These aren't things that matter! They aren't things that are life and death. I am merely telling them a fact about myself - and they ALWAYS tell me why I am wrong to feel that way (which they have absolutely no right to do). 

I may be weird, but in my own life whenever someone says something I try to agree with it and lift that person and their opinion up (even if I don't agree with it). Unless its something wrong that I can't agree with, I'll just go along with what they are saying and try to support their opinions. Why? Because I'm not there to tear down their opinions. But no matter what I say, my coworkers think they need to explain why it is wrong. And this makes me so terribly irritated. 

I am already very shy and uncomfortable talking around "know-it-alls", but even during situations like this I try to engage in the conversation in order to be polite. Lately, however, I don't even say anything because I know all four of them will just disagree with it and shut me up. So now I don't talk at all. And I'm sure that only makes them think I'm even more stupid.

On top of this, whenever any of them have conversations, they never ever look at me (even though all day long we sit in one room together). Ever. They never make eye contact. They never look at me. They speak to each other only (even on workplace issues that effect all of us). When I try to say something and add to the conversation so it is less awkward, they either deny what I am saying or there is just an awkward silence and then they continue talking to each other. If they are talking to one another, and then the others happen to walk out of the room - the one remaining just stops the conversation, as if I am too stupid to continue the conversation with. And when the others come back into the room, the conversation continues. 

On top of that, it seems as though they think I am the "town idiot". I'll do things, I'll say things that aren't supposed to be funny - and they all laugh, look at each other, raise their eyebrows. I believe this all has to do with the whole idea that they don't think I have any intelligence. They just think I'm some stupid little child that isn't quite in their league and is there for them to laugh at. 

I will admit that I do tend to have a more laid-back personality. I am not all serious. I am not about trying to sound as smart as I can or using big words. I don't care about making people I first meet think I'm super smart. I care more about making sure they are comfortable and don't feel in any way belittle by me. Because of that, I make stupid jokes and say things some might consider stupid so that others will be comfortable. I don't like to put people down. I want them to feel at ease. I don't like to judge new people. I know that if I am kind to them and don't constantly call them out on every mistake or make fun of what they do - they will get used to what they are doing and will be comfortable. I don't like to correct people, and if I do I will do so in a way that will not make them feel embarrassed or as though they are being corrected. All of this perhaps make me come off as very light and bouncy and goofy....but it doesn't mean I'm stupid. 

Every once in a while we have game nights outside of work. I try to attend all these (even though I don't want to) because I am trying to get closer to them rather than more distant. If I bring a new game to try, they all act like its stupid before I even begin explaining the game. Needless to say, the game never gets through more than a couple turns and they decide it's just not fun enough. However, when they bring new games (that are a hundred times more complicated) they all will spend an hour trying to understood the instructions (when they can't even spend ten minutes trying to understand games that I bring). When we go out into the city, they will have no idea where they are going. I will know exactly but when I try to show them they all just keep wandering in a big heard in the wrong direction (because I couldn't possibly be right) even though eventually they do turn the very same way I was originally going to bring them. 

I don't mean to sound rude or harsh or judgmental of these people. I wasn't at first. But it has been a year like this. I feel as though I have proven myself. I am good at my job. I do my work very well. I have tried to not be quite so goofy just in case that was what was leading them to treat me like this. I am trying to be more serious and sound more confident when I voice my own opinions. I am trying to just relax and not think so much about it (in case that was the cause). I try to make eye contact with them during conversations (even though I hate doing that). 

But nothing is getting better. They treat me like I am some stupid child that just tags along. I don't really enjoy being around them anymore. I don't like talking around them, so I end up just being quiet all the time. I'm just starting not to like them and I'm getting sick of all their crap. 

I'm not really sure why I posted this. If you have any or advice, go for it. Or if you are in a similar situation, let me know. Perhaps it will help us both feel better.


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## JuneBird (Apr 18, 2017)

TiberiusGavier said:


> I'm not entirely sure why I am on here or why I am creating this post. I've gotten rather annoyed all together and I think it would feel better just to type it all out and send it off into the void.... so I suppose that is what I will do.
> 
> I have never particularly had issues with people thinking I'm stupid at work. I may act goofy and awkward (since social interactions are very difficult for me) but at all my jobs people have realized that I am a good worker and treat me well. However, at my "new" job all of my coworkers treat me like I'm stupid and it has not gotten better even after a year's time.
> 
> ...


You need to switch jobs and/or report them for bullying to HR. Tell everything you just told in this post, but in person. I had a**hole coworkers freshman year of college, and when I finally told my manager senior year, she wished I had told her a lot sooner.

It doesn't sound worth the pay, for what you have to put up with.


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## Alex4You (Jun 19, 2017)

Stare them down and demand their respect.


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## Grog (Sep 13, 2013)

I didn't read all that but have to ask 
Are you stupid , I know I am so I don't hold it against people for thinking so .
I mean no every one is smart contrary to what parents might tell you . Reality is not every one is smart , not every one is special and most of aren't good looking . 
Soo it is a possibility that you may be stupid . 
And if your not well that sucks and they must just be so insecure they have to make you look stupid so they look smarter but the truth generally comes out with time .


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## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

Somebody's probably backstabbing you and telling everyone you're stupid. All it takes is one person to ruin your life when you're quiet and not confident, and that person is usually inept.


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## VerdeLemon (Dec 15, 2016)

Maslow said:


> Somebody's probably backstabbing you and telling everyone you're stupid. All it takes is one person to ruin your life when you're quiet and not confident, and that person is usually inept.


I agree with this, there's always a snitch and backstabber. I remember telling something in confidence to another coworker about this job and next day the manager took two days off my schedule. So **** them and change jobs inmmediatly but maybe this is exactly what they want..that you go away so they can take over your job...i dont know anymore


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

VerdeLemon said:


> I agree with this, there's always a snitch and backstabber. I remember telling something in confidence to another coworker about this job and next day the manager took two days off my schedule. So **** them and change jobs inmmediatly but maybe this is exactly what they want..that you go away so they can take over your job...i dont know anymore


thanks for that. I have a tendency to talk more than I should and I really should learn to bite my tongue at work. You never know when a coworker wants to use ammunition against you even tho they seem to be confidable:serious:


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