# I'm afraid of losing my best friend



## allycat27

Hi. So I'm knew here, and I think tonight I really need to get this all out and hopefully get some feedback.

I've had a really rough past couple of days, and my problem is that I am very paranoid of losing the friends I have. I don't have many, but I particularly afraid of losing my best friend.
My best friend is practically my sister. We've known each other for three years, and we've been close almost since the day we met. We talk every day, we joke and we're very very close. She knows me like the back of her hand and I know her just the same. 

I'm a very emotional person, and I'm also a worrier at times. I'm not quite sure where the line draws between normal human emotions, and when it gets irrational. I know both have happened, but I'm always so hard on myself I never know when I'm being irrational or when what I feel is completely fine. This is one of those instances. I always try to be perfect and i constantly apologize, and every time I make a little mistake by being overly emotional about a situation or maybe I snap at someone or say something rude and I feel overly guilty about it and cry, I'm afraid she's going to get sick of me doubting myself. And I've talked to her about this before, and I don't want to anymore because I know I make her feel bad, like I don't trust her. And I know that hurts her. I talked to her about it the other day, how I was sorry that I doubt myself or that I can be a handful, and all she said was that it was fine and not to worry about it. I over think a lot, and I feel terrible that I doubt her words. She told me in July she just wants me to be happy, and that she wouldn't let something like this tear our friendship. I'm just worried one day she'll get fed up.

I'm going to see someone to talk to in a couple weeks, I'm just not sure what I should do before then. My friend suggested I start a journal and write the thoughts, which I started to do last night. I just want some sort of way to stop over thinking and worrying and trust other people's word, and not let past situations make me so worried.


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## Tinydancer20

From what you are saying, there really isn't any evidence that you will lose her. I think you just need to focus on calming your anxiety, it does seem
a bit irrational.


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