# Work Gossip/backstabbing



## ManthMo

Is this just the way it is in the working world? Everyone wants to backstab the next person to seem superior. I've grown so tired of people and all of their pettiness. I feel like every day that I walk in, there is a group of people talking together about coworkers that did this wrong, or didn't do it "the way they would have done it". Ok, let's give you all a round of applause, because you all never make mistakes and are obviously THE BEST employees...EVER!"


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## pork

I'm fortunate enough to work only with people of my choosing. In my industry, gossip and backstabbing gives you such a bad reputation that no one wants to work with you ever again!


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## Just Here

I have found in this day age that everything is about covering your own ***. A lot of these people that talk about others are trying to take the spot light off themselves. Don't be pulled down to there level just ignore them. Do your job well and let them talk.


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## AussiePea

Agree with the others. DO NOT get involved with workplace gossip and bickering and just do the best job you can. The people who matter will notice these things and you will be better off to steer clear of that working lifestyle. Unfortunately sometimes the backstabbers are the ones who BS their way to the top, but you can't let that affect your own professional growth.


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## GetOutOfMyHouse

Unfortunately yes, It seems to be the rule, the worst are older people who feel threatened by new younger people, but everyone wants the spotlight and they become *** kissers and gossip about situations that make them look good.

One little history: I was asked to empty the trash bin and I did it just before I left, the next day a co-worker Insinuated I procrastinate a lot.


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## Omgblood

What I've learned at work: trust no one.

I have some co-workers that do nothing but gossip. Seriously, for one of them, every other interaction I have with him is him belittling or insulting another co-workers.. thats it! Sometimes when they're in a group they'll go on and talk crap about other people to anywhere up to 15 minutes. They're very two-face as well... for example today, one of co-workers got so angry at another worker (for something trivial and petty) he went on a ten minute rage and called the plant director just to complain. Then when that other worker showed up to the work floor, they just talk (and bullsh*t) for 20 minutes _like_ they're on good terms with each other.. o...k then.

I'm sure and would bet money they talk about me as well. Kind of makes me want to run my car into the tent at the break/smoking area where they congregate.. and load my car with explosives and do this


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## BAH

Nobody has backstabbed me but I have stabbed someone in the back..it was a bloody mess.


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## twitchy666

*Self gain*

I remember one comment "you kept that one secret, didn't you?"
in the car park when I had a new car and never mentioned it. I didn't because I was sure they'd be bored if I said anything. That is a very positive attitude.

What was kept secret from me: their judgement / verdict of me
behind the scenes

Their burst into laughter. It's him! He hasn't! He won't!


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## indiga

Omgblood said:


> What I've learned at work: trust no one.
> 
> I have some co-workers that do nothing but gossip. Seriously, for one of them, every other interaction I have with him is him belittling or insulting another co-workers.. thats it! Sometimes when they're in a group they'll go on and talk crap about other people to anywhere up to 15 minutes. They're very two-face as well... for example today, one of co-workers got so angry at another worker (for something trivial and petty) he went on a ten minute rage and called the plant director just to complain. Then when that other worker showed up to the work floor, they just talk (and bullsh*t) for 20 minutes _like_ they're on good terms with each other.. o...k then.
> 
> I'm sure and would bet money they talk about me as well. Kind of makes me want to run my car into the tent at the break/smoking area where they congregate.. and load my car with explosives and do this


I couldn't agree more. You really learn the hard way otherwise. I didn't traditionally trust people at work, but I thought as part of my SA recovery I would try to be more trusting. Bad idea! The following two situations really brought it home to me that you can't trust people at work.

1) I had a run in with the receptionist at work. There was a breakdown in communication and unfortunately because I couldn't stand up for myself, or even explain to her where I was coming from, I was the worst enemy in the office for two or three days. Girls who I thought I was on friendly terms with, automatically sided with her (even though they spent the majority of their time gossiping about her!) and gave me the dirtiest looks. It wasn't even that big of deal. I laugh about it now!

2) Guy who I thought I was extremely close to at work ditches me at an office social event. I could even see he was purposefully ignoring/avoiding me. I ended up going home desperately sad. The next day he was super chatty to me, being really friendly. I knew from that moment on he wasn't interested in being friends with me, he was just playing office politics (i.e. using colleagues when it benefited him).

Thankfully I've gone back to being less trusting at work. I don't think it has negatively affected my SA recovery because I still chat to these people, but I feel like I'm not under illusions about their intentions or agendas. Unfortunately the majority of people at work are trying to survive and make it to the top. At the end of the day, it takes courage not to engage in office gossip. Too many people don't have the guts to say, "sorry, I'm not interested". I think I'm actually more upset about the guy who ditched me than the girls who were gossiping about me. Really thought he was a good guy.


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## thinkstoomuch101

I can come into work, do my job, read my kindle or my watch my tutorial videos in medicine - and these females will damn near tear their hair out looking for someone to gossip with, or stir up some s***.

They do the dramatic tactics, i.e., eavesdropping while i'm interacting with my patients, backstabbing each other constantly, competing for doctor's attention, ("I'm good friends with this radiologist"), right, and these same good friends - throw them under the bus every chance they get.

One of my co-workers who states that she "just comes in and does her job and leaves" - is a devout, gawd-fearing catholic that goes through our discarded files every day. Yes, *basically the trash* - to compete with her co-workers on how to write her notes better. All she has to do is ask.

The other one from Eastern India, is constantly lying, backstabbing, manipulating, making up stories about co-workers, and putting down everyone else to make herself to look good. She swears she NEVER talks to the manager - yet when you pass by the manager's office - There she is.. complaining about everyone else except herself.

Those two LOVE that manager's office. When they feel insecure about themselves? that can't get that office fast enough.

I truly don't see the logic in trying to compete for "superiors" friendship or attention.

I truly don't see the logic in getting one's own esteem from people that treat them like Donald Sterling would treat the LA Clippers.

I truly don't see the logic in "competing" "lying" "backstabbing" "manipulating" on the job to the point of ruining anyone's trust in you to get that pat on the head.

But i definitely see the logic in just doing your job, and going home.


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## thinkstoomuch101

are these people THAT fearful??

I mean, seriously.. are they THAT insecure about their job?

sheeesh, and i thought WE were the ones with social anxiety, right?


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## Omgblood

Some have to get their value from something else, someone else or from a superior in this case


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## jesse93

God wouldn't it be nice to work in a place where there was no need to gossip?

ALL of my coworkers are female, besides me. It's like a real life reality tv show. They all pretend to love each other and converse with each other, but behind each others back they're always **** talking each other. I try my best to stay out of it, I know they talk bad about me because of how quiet I am, I've heard it before. I just ignore what they say and keep working, because at the end of the day i don't want to be part of this drama and BS. Drama is not something I crave or care for, like all my other coworkers.


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## thinkstoomuch101

i was talking to someone from a different dept. who came by to chat.

i just happened to glance over the person's shoulder. Lo and behold - staring right out of the office was my devout catholic co-worker who was* supposed to be on the phone.* She was craning her neck around the corner to hear our conversation.

this is exactly how she looked.


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## lonelyalways

Unfortunately, I have found most workplaces to be filled with gossip and backstabbing. Where I work if someone gets an email from a client that indicates a mistake had been made by someone else, they will immediately forward it to the boss and act like they have no idea what happened. In most cases, there is an easy fix, but they want yo make sure the boss know somebody else messed up. It is such a petty and pathetic move. There is also rampant nepotism where I work. This compounds the problem because obviously someone's mother, brother, uncle, etc. couldn't possibly ever be wrong.


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## imuy99

Hi,

I realize that work is just like high school. Unfortunately, my workplace is 90% women, (myself included).
They all clique up and gossip and back stab all the time. I've been thrown under the bus multiple times.
Currently 2 co-workers are trying to be my boss's BFF. My boss unfortunately has a character flaw, in that she judges people by their appearance and loves to gossip about others, but also loves to boast about herself. I have another co-worker that works in a different department. She always is talking out loud on how easy her job is, how EVERYONE LOVES her, this is a woman in her mid-60s. 
I just try to "kill everyone with kindness" or stay out of everyone's hair.

I am trying to lose weight, as I am seen as being less attractive than my peers, but I accept myself for who I am. I secretly hate them girls who constantly eat like birds and then shout about how "fat" they are. They're all toothpicks compared to me.
My BF says I am a "real" woman compared to them. I have all the right curves according to him. I think he's just being nice.

I lost a lot of weight once, but I wasn't any happier. I didn't like being looked at lecherously by men I didn't know and I didn't like getting hated on by girls/women I didn't know. Just can't win I guess. 
I know that's how it will be at work. Some of my co-workers noticed that I was beginning to lose some weight. The cattiness instantly began.
Why are women so catty?? Why do they have to be this way?

Aside from being an entrepreneur/self-employed, what other recourse do I have?


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## GamesRUs

This was them: talk smack, talk smack, HAHAHAHA 

Me: excuse me, I'm a. I sensitive, and I assume you don't mean to be cruel. 

This was them: HAHAHAHAHAHA. This is fun. Let's do it more often. Feels good. 

This was me, "cry, sob, cry, sob, begging you not to talk about me". 

Them: it's too much fun to stop. Wait, a new person came to the office. Let's get em

Me: should I feel bad about the other person, or relieved about me? I will forget about them. I cannot afford otherwise. But, this is killing me. Those jerks really love to kill a persons spirits. They call me and others names, like wired, eccentric, ....how do they view themselves? 

Them: shut up and stop crying bout other people, we all have problems you know, 


Me: note to self, STOP WINING AND BEING WIMPY, THEY SMELL BLOOD. NO GOOD COMES OF IT.

Care to hear the rest? 

It doesn't end well.


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## Omgblood

Yes people do take pleasure in inflicting pain in others (in this case in words).

Anyways today, one of my co-workers said, "I love drama" and I'm pretty certain he meant it. I understand why he would love it, but it makes working with him like 10 times more stressful and harder than it needs to be.


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## purechaos

I listen to people. Sometimes I get baited and bite the hook and may say something about a person. Then I come to slap myself mentally and see everyone as human again. But this is why I keep work away from my personal life, to keep drama to a minimum. I try to keep work speak about the work itself, philosophy, or something else, sometimes I vent about my personal life to a select few. I actually work in a predominantly male setting. The same thing happens, men gossip and back stab just as much. But even when you are out of the mix you're still in the mix. You can't escape the rumor mill but when you distance yourself from it to a degree you make the effect it has on you not as magnified. The less you know about that s*** the better off you are.


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## thinkstoomuch101

people who state that they love drama.. well,yeah.. they do.

my last co-worker said that. i didn't take it seriously.. until she started talking about her t.v. programs that she MUST watch every night of the week + her half-as** relationship with her long distance boyfriend. he sees her maybe once or twice a month, and when he does? it's a pit stop when he's on his way to see some other woman, or hang out with his fishing buddies.

and get this: She has to tune in to the Soap Opera's every day.

every single day, All my Children, and The Bold and the Beautiful..

I just see a bunch of people acting on t.v - and re-hashed scripting.,.. I don't see what the big deal is. But this chick says she HAS to "get her drama-fix".. every afternoon, and at night..

and when a patient interrupts her schedule? There's hell to pay later.

She's sweet to the patients - but behind the scenes, she turns into a total c**t.. yep, true to form "she loves drama"...


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## Omgblood

I wouldn't call this a gossip or a backstab but today the shift supervisor called our supervisor and told him we weren't working... okay. I'll spare the details but wasn't true, and maybe a misunderstanding. But before calling our supervisor couldn't he have just talked to us first...? directly. Anyways I'm pretty we won't be getting in trouble.

It's just.... more the reason I can't trust people.. I can explain what I mean by that if anyone is interested, but I'll save myself the typing for now


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## Omgblood

I was assigned a task I haven't done before, and it was quite a hefty one too. My co-worker gave me instruction on how to do it but I have suspicions that they were inadequate... 

Thus, making it appear like I did an incomplete job.

But time will tell until I know for sure...

Oh yeah. They won't even tell me if I've done it wrong until its too late, then someone can jump in and be the hero and correct it


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## imuy99

Omgblood said:


> I was assigned a task I haven't done before, and it was quite a hefty one too. My co-worker gave me instruction on how to do it but I have suspicions that they were inadequate...
> 
> Thus, making it appear like I did an incomplete job.
> 
> But time will tell until I know for sure...
> 
> Oh yeah. They won't even tell me if I've done it wrong until its too late, then someone can jump in and be the hero and correct it


I know how that feels. My workplace feels just like high school with the cliques and favoritism running rampant. Turn over is very high. I just deal with it because I want to buy a house eventually, and with the way jobs are, many don't want to pay for a retirement plan or health care. So, this job is kind of rare. Plus, no one else wants to hire permanent staff anymore. But, backstabbing is rampant. If you figured how to deal with it, do let me know.


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## HellCell

Yes, recently I had heard talk about wanting to get a co-worker fired due to being the "weak link".


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## Hayman

I've lost count of the amount of times I've been backstabbed in the workplace. It's something I could probably write a book about. 

In my last job, I was in effect constructively dismissed. Officially I was made 'redundant', but given they took on someone to work under me for around a year and then kept that person on rather than me (with nine years experience) says it all. That's probably the biggest stab in the back I've had. That was in July 2010.

In my current job, I have people telling me how to do something, I do it and then all of a sudden it should have been done another way – which they then claim they told me about. Umm…I don't think so. This probably happens once every few weeks. Then there's the regular occasions I'm accused that I'm doing 'nothing' when infact if they care to look on my desk, it rarely I have less than four piles of paperwork on my desk to do at any given time. Arriving in early every morning should give them a subtle hint that I'm infact snowed under – the opposite of having nothing to do. I simply don't do the same job as them and they seem to not understand that. Then of course you have the regular occurrence where approaching the office you can hear chatting going on, but the moment you walk through the door, there's silence. Basically, this means they were talking about you behind your back. Why stop talking otherwise? I've also head them start muttering to one another after I've left the office and stood outside the door for a few seconds.

It's got to the stage that I'm considering starting a diary to record these backstabbing events (like these and many more) as they happen so frequently. 

I think there's a 'clique' in just about every workplace. The ladies in our office get on well together. I also work in the office, but I'm very much excluded from their conversations unless it's something they can make me feel three inches tall about…


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