# Girl Wants me to text her but makes it hard to do so?



## CoffeeGuy (Sep 23, 2013)

There's this girl from work that I know decently well So I got her phone number a few months ago to see how far I might be able to take things. 

I texted her a few times soon after, and it turned into one of those deals where I had to carry the entire brunt of the conversation, while she gave short, generic replies to everything I sent and never bothered to really add much to the conversation.

I safely assumed that meant she didn't really want to text with me and/or found me boring so I stopped. 

Now recently, she's got a boyfriend now so this is why I put this in the friendship topic, she's made multiple comments at work about how I never text her and how she wants me to text her sometime. 

Then this morning she actually texts me out of the blue, and so I decide to try conversing with her through text again, but after the first couple of messages the conversation returns to that same old point of her giving generic answers to everything or going 'haha' to my jokes, and making it hard to actually converse. 


I'm not skilled in the art of texting because I hardly ever have anyone to do it with, so I keep thinking I'm doing something wrong even though I try to make jokes, interesting comments, and ask open ended questions, but this girl always just seems to act like she wants me to go away...but when I do she tells me to start texting her again.

I don't get it...lol


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## Neo1234 (Mar 6, 2012)

ask her out asap!!


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## CoffeeGuy (Sep 23, 2013)

sonny680 said:


> ask her out asap!!


#1 . She has a BF

#2 . 









... I'd like to have someone to text with on occasion, but I'm just confused about why she continually says she wants me to text her, but then generally acts disinterested when I actually try.


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## brooke_brigham (Nov 28, 2013)

Move on. She is using you for a little ego boost. If people are interested they will engage in conversation.


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## Andres124 (Oct 23, 2012)

If she's giving short answers, it probably means she's not interested plus you did mention she has a boyfriend. She probably just sees you as a friend. I've had women give me short text replies before, and I usually assumed they weren't interested because of how short the texts were. I would move on when women would do that. If women are really interested in you, they will talk to you more.


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## Whatev (Feb 6, 2012)

She enjoys the control/attention, if she really wanted to text she'll do it.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Texting isn't meant for "conversations". It sounds like you may be expecting too much out of it.


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## TheHaxanCloak (Jul 26, 2014)

I get the routine "why havent you kept in touch with me ? =(" text all the time from girls that sound exactly like yours, OP.
They wont carry a conversation, ask questions, return questions, etc.
Even if they initiate the "hello" to me, they still give me nothing to work with, so it's like they may as well not have texted.

I'll even see them post passive aggressive statuses on FaceBook about how some people are "crappy friends" and dont try hard enough to keep a friendship alive. This is usually literally right before texting me, or right after! I can connect the dots...

If I stop texting them, they get mad and ask why. First off, because I was the last person to send the text. Second, because you're boring and there's not much I can say to a "haha" or "lol" or emoticon.

In my opinion, these people are just boring texters. I think to a certain extent they do like attention and ego boosts, but what it really comes down to is they're just boring. Their idea of texting doesn't meet our expectations or needs.
A girl suddenly texting you while having a BF though is a good time to take the hint and run away. She wants to feel attractive or sought-after during times in her relationship where her and her BF arent getting along too well, or something. 

This is usually around the time you just sit back, relax, and start humoring yourself by playing games with her, trying out new things(like being super cold, short, and boring)...If that's the route you choose to go. I'm not a believer in mind-games =)


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## Nothing123 (Oct 3, 2014)

Yeah i agree. I think she just wants the attention as an ego boost. If she asks why u dnt text her anymore, just be honest and say u dnt wanna text her if u can talk more at work or whatever. Id say move on. Shes not interested! Trust me when i like a guy i text them like crazy! She just wants to feel like shes being pursued or whatevs. Lame.


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## Znuffle (Jul 22, 2014)

The guuurl just want attention.. Just ignore her .. What your goal is on texting isn't the goal you need... Your goal should be: "Have fun"
And not like: "Have date no matter what"


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## Randomguy555 (Apr 26, 2014)

My advice is to be polite, but don't carry a conversation by yourself. It's perfectly fine to walk away from a conversation that's not going anywhere. After about the second "lol" response just let the conversation die because you're basically talking to yourself.


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## jesse93 (Jun 10, 2012)

god I hate people who want you to text them and then they give replies such as the ones you explained. Either she is just a boring *** texter, or she's busy doing other things,or maybe she's just not interested in you enough to put any effort into conversing with you besides a simple "haha"

Depending on what you say to her, it could be that you give her ego a boost or make her feel good about herself and that's why she wants you around.


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## Erik20 (Jul 31, 2013)

She probably just likes the attention.
I've noticed the same thing with some female friends. I would always be the one who initiates contact, and sometimes they would just stop replying in the middle of a conversation. A couple of times I just stopped texting first, and of course that meant there was no contact at all. Usually after a couple of weeks/months even I'd get a "Hey haven't heard from you in a while" text. 

I guess some people just like getting texts for an ego boost, or to feel important, even though they're not really interested.
She has a boyfriend anyway, but he probably doesn't text her that much. So she wants that male attention from you, while he gets to do all the fun stuff with her.

Only text her when it's really necessary.


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## Visi0n (Jul 3, 2014)

Yeah, I've had the same thing happen to me and it was only yesterday one of these girls contacted me after I stopped all contact with her for the past 5 weeks, she'd just give me short answer replies and all, the same stuff you've mentioned like not asking questions back or trying to hold a conversation with me, to tell you the truth I am getting this like 99% of the time with females.

Anyhow, I didn't reply back what so ever and I don't plan on replying back, of course they will contact after a few weeks of you not talking to them, they miss the attention, they are attention *****s. They just love the attention, it gives them that little confidence boost and they are not worth your time, don't even give them the satisfaction. This girl has friendzoned you and she is just using you for attention and an ego boost, get rid of her and stop talking to her.


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## AndrewUK83 (May 27, 2014)

brooke_brigham said:


> Move on. She is using you for a little ego boost. If people are interested they will engage in conversation.





Andres124 said:


> If she's giving short answers, it probably means she's not interested plus you did mention she has a boyfriend. She probably just sees you as a friend. I've had women give me short text replies before, and I usually assumed they weren't interested because of how short the texts were. I would move on when women would do that. If women are really interested in you, they will talk to you more.


This ^ and this ^ dont bother putting the effort in if she wont just send her basic crappy messages she is probably bored or her bf isnt paying her enough attention.


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## CoffeeGuy (Sep 23, 2013)

Thanks for all the input and replies. Unfortunately, I think most of you guys are correct in that she primarily interacts with me because she likes the attention I give her. She also displays this behavior in person when I actually think about it. She tends to lightly flirt with a lot of different guys at work, she usually likes to be the center of conversations, she acts like shes annoyed when guys she flirts with always ask for her number, but then she usually gives it out anyways, etc. 

Although she is a nice girl, if I examine her overall behavior, I think she does seek out male attention a lot, and I'm likely just another of a dozen or more guys who she wants to be talking/texting/thinking about her. 

(sigh) well, I'm actually not going to stop hanging around or talking with her because, to be completely honest, I too like the attention she gives me no matter how genuine it may or may not be. I'll just have to try and not expect her to be anything more than a workplace acquaintance.


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