# Anyone else stopped college due SA and has no expectation for return?



## Stranger In Moscow (Jul 6, 2013)

After school I try college in 2009 enrolling me in Computer Science which was the only course I thought for me due the fact I always deal with pc and due my terrible personality and SA.

But of course this didn't work, what I observe is there is no area in which people don't get along with each other, socialize, etc, and there will be a time you gonna need this, for a work group or even some help on field you are having difficulties.

After 1 semester having no talk with someone, hating (and having difficulties) the course, and going to classes practically dragging me due the depression, I had to stopped.

Then in 2011 thinking I was better I tried again returning to the same course but failed again after 2 semesters due the same reasons.

Currently I'm still depressed, no kind of social contact except family, with 23 years and no plans to return.


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## Asha1985 (Aug 23, 2014)

Are there online classes for computer science majors? Would you want to try that instead?

As far as my own personal experience, this is going to sound a little weird but I am terrified of my mother. I say that because had it not been for this fear, I would've dropped out of school a long time ago.


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## VanderlyeCrybabyGeeks (Sep 5, 2014)

I dropped out of college twice too, not even one month in each time. Starting a new course on Thursday and terrified doesn't begin to describe it. I went with a way smaller college this time though , didn't go for a university for just the mere title of it all. I don't know if being in a smaller group is necessarily a good thing though , feels like a lot more attention. When I was at home those 2 years I did do an on-line course and an evening course that didn't involve much talking. I felt a lot better that I was doing something, not good, but better.


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

i'd go back and do whatever i can to go through it (which is exactly what i did, i even took a few extra courses for my licence in the future), without higher education most likely you will end up in a position where you have to deal with people for the rest of your life


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

Pretty much was my reason for dropping out. Only about 10 people including me on my course. Everyone else had things in common with each other (All liked guitar based music... I didn't). They all grouped together from day 1 because of the things in common. Due to SA I had no chance of socialising in that situation.

It was mostly that but also the way SA made me quiet, like a loner which even the tutor would poke fun out of. Left and never returned


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## Shirotora (Aug 19, 2013)

I just started my first time in college and I'm really positive about it.

This is what I did.
First thing is being diagnosed and then making appointments at the college to get to know the place.

Meeting with disability faculty is the main thing because they help you with anything you need and motivate you.

Always seeking help when you need to, will take away a lot of anxiety and difficulty with courses.
It does take the load off.

So, try something similar and I hope it works for you, like it did for me.


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## Kanova (Dec 17, 2012)

I totally failed my course because I missed too many days. Went back the next year to do it again but this time told the new teacher that I was a socially awkward ****** that would sometimes miss days because panic attacks suck, and he completely understood. That took a lot of pressure off. Class was easy.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

This is what basically ruined my life and I hate thinking about it every day. This is what is making me depressed and this is what makes me feel like a complete failure to my parents. Both of my brothers graduated from a university this year and they are already in their career. My oldest sister got married and has her own home building her life. I'm still in the same phase. I took advantage of skipping school ever since my dad gave me a car which I don't deserve at all. I stopped going to school because of my agoraphobia and anxiety and I would go to the park instead and stay there for two hours every single f&cking day. Then I would come home and realize what the hell is going to happen to me in the future. I tried going back to school in January and I only lasted for about 4 weeks plus they put me to work with a damn partner again and he was not being productive at all. So I really wasn't going to waste my time and I didn't return again. Then my parents found out I haven't been going to school and the look on their faces killed me. That was the time when I really wanted to sink into the ground and disappear. I even overheard my mom telling my brother that graduating from college is an accomplishment and a success and that she's very proud of both of my brothers. That made me feel like complete sh&t and I just sadly walked away not wanting to hear anything else.


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## VanderlyeCrybabyGeeks (Sep 5, 2014)

Farideh said:


> This is what basically ruined my life and I hate thinking about it every day. This is what is making me depressed and this is what makes me feel like a complete failure to my parents. Both of my brothers graduated from a university this year and they are already in their career. My oldest sister got married and has her own home building her life. I'm still in the same phase. I took advantage of skipping school ever since my dad gave me a car which I don't deserve at all. I stopped going to school because of my agoraphobia and anxiety and I would go to the park instead and stay there for two hours every single f&cking day. Then I would come home and realize what they hell is going to happen to me in the future. I tried going back to school in January and I only lasted for about 4 weeks plus they put me to work with a damn partner again and he was not being productive at all. So I really wasn't going to waste my time and I didn't return again. Then my parents found out I haven't been going to school and the look on their faces killed me. That was the time when I really wanted to sink into the ground and disappear. I even overheard my mom telling my brother that graduating from college is an accomplishment and a success and that she's very proud of both of my brother. That made me feel like complete sh&t and I just sadly walked away not wanting to hear anything else.


Same with my parents, the disappointment, they were never angry but that makes it kind of harder because they don't understand. I so badly wanted to finish college even if it was just for them. I know how you feel about the sibling side of it too my brother just graduated with one of the best results in his college, having extended family constantly comparing it to " Oh and you're still not really doing anything" is quite crushing.

_______________________________________________
* Maybe when you're older you will understand why you don't feel right , why you can't sleep at night.*


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## BlueDay (May 6, 2014)

monotonous said:


> without higher education most likely you will end up in a position where you have to deal with people for the rest of your life


That depends greatly on WHAT the degree is in and the demand for it. I have a BA and can only find jobs where I have to deal with people. Just having a degree is no guarantee of anything, especially right now in America.


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

BlueDay said:


> That depends greatly on WHAT the degree is in and the demand for it. I have a BA and can only find jobs where I have to deal with people. Just having a degree is no guarantee of anything, especially right now in America.


depends on the person and intelligence, a bachelor in philosophy politics and economics can be a prime minister of a nation, or a telemarketer, its all you


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## Stranger In Moscow (Jul 6, 2013)

Asha1985 said:


> Are there online classes for computer science majors? Would you want to try that instead?
> 
> As far as my own personal experience, this is going to sound a little weird but I am terrified of my mother. I say that because had it not been for this fear, I would've dropped out of school a long time ago.


In fact I also realized I don't like computer science, like I said that time is the only option I had because I always dealt with PC.

And the main problem If I wish to return is that today despite the SA I have no pleasure in my life and don't see myself liking any course, meanwhile the clock is ticking...


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## masterridley (Jan 20, 2007)

Stranger In Moscow said:


> In fact I also realized I don't like computer science, like I said that time is the only option I had because I always dealt with PC.
> 
> And the main problem If I wish to return is that today despite the SA I have no pleasure in my life and don't see myself liking any course, meanwhile the clock is ticking...


Look at what @Shirotora posted. If your college has a mental health department, go to it and see how you can get help. Sometimes, there are special procedures for people who battle with this stuff like depression etc

I've basically dropped out twice. The first one was a drop out in anything but name, I took 9 years to finish a 5 year degree in comp sci in Greece and no one gave a sh1t that I was not showing up at all for 2 years :roll

The second time was this year where I dropped a course because it required group work and I ended up with no team, the other because I couldn't finish my thesis due to depression. Fortunately, here in the UK people are a little bit more organized and care about what you're doing. So they asked me to come in and explain and they told me there's a mitigation policy for unfortunate cases like me. So I get another chance to finish these 2 but with my grade capped at Pass.

My advice is the same, no matter if you choose to go into Comp Sci or not. Just be careful not to choose computers because you think you can be by yourself. That USED to be the case. Now programmers work in groups mostly and have to have social skills as well to communicate the problem at the least.


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## Stranger In Moscow (Jul 6, 2013)

masterridley said:


> Look at what @Shirotora posted. If your college has a mental health department, go to it and see how you can get help. Sometimes, there are special procedures for people who battle with this stuff like depression etc
> 
> I've basically dropped out twice. The first one was a drop out in anything but name, I took 9 years to finish a 5 year degree in comp sci in Greece and no one gave a sh1t that I was not showing up at all for 2 years :roll
> 
> ...


You are in UK and I live in Brazil, imagine the huge difference, I never heard anything here about mental health department, Brazil is terrible in many aspects, especially people's culture, having SA in any country is awful but here I bet is one of the worst...


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## Asha1985 (Aug 23, 2014)

Stranger In Moscow said:


> In fact I also realized I don't like computer science, like I said that time is the only option I had because I always dealt with PC.
> 
> And the main problem If I wish to return is that today despite the SA I have no pleasure in my life and don't see myself liking any course, meanwhile the clock is ticking...


Dealing with depression and anxiety is not easy so I understand how hard that must be for you. As far as finding a major you like.....this may not be good advice but for me, I knew I would never find a major I enjoyed due to my SA and depression. So I chose one based on salary and job prospects. But, again, this is just me and my main focus is trying to move out of my parents' home as I think it would help me a bit to distance myself from my mother.


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## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

VanderlyeCrybabyGeeks said:


> Same with my parents, the disappointment, they were never angry but that makes it kind of harder because they don't understand. I so badly wanted to finish college even if it was just for them. I know how you feel about the sibling side of it too my brother just graduated with one of the best results in his college, having extended family constantly comparing it to " Oh and you're still not really doing anything" is quite crushing.
> 
> _______________________________________________
> * Maybe when you're older you will understand why you don't feel right , why you can't sleep at night.*


This..I don't even drive BC of my high anxiety.. ugh.


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## uselessgoodfornothing (Sep 10, 2013)

I was doing I.T for the same reasons....anyway dropped out after 5 weeks becauseiI was getting 3 hours of sleep a night and I don't have the willpower to go back


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## VanderlyeCrybabyGeeks (Sep 5, 2014)

Sugarslippers said:


> This..I don't even drive BC of my high anxiety.. ugh.


There are many different layers in people's lives. You can't look down on what someone else considers a hard time in their life. I'm talking about one single thing that related to what someone else said. Isn't that why we'ere here? to talk to others going through the same thing and look for some bit of solace and advice, not to be belittled and made feel like you're being trivial. You don't know the hardships in others lives, though they may seem little to you. There isn't a specific level of SA required to be here. Everyone here is meant to be helping each other.

_____________________________
" Never be ashamed of what you feel. You have the right to feel any emotion that you want."

"Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always."


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

Im afraid that I will regret not going back to school when given the opportunity free at no cost to me. Now I cant afford it and stuck. Hopefully I can find a part time job and finish my education finally.


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## Swagonite (Jun 24, 2014)

I dropped out of community college IT program this semester after just 1 week of class. I wasn't used to it and it was a lot overwhelming for me so I reacted by just quitting and withdrawing. Looking back though I know its important to have for what I want to achieve and do so I'm going to pay off the student debt I have (hopefully its not very much since I was on finacial aid only 1 week of class) then I want to go back in the spring semester starting in january. Maybe the next 3 months will give me time to focus on some books related to the program and find a job that i'll be able to work while waiting.


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## LolaViola (Jun 23, 2013)

VanderlyeCrybabyGeeks said:


> There are many different layers in people's lives. You can't look down on what someone else considers a hard time in their life. I'm talking about one single thing that related to what someone else said. Isn't that why we'ere here? to talk to others going through the same thing and look for some bit of solace and advice, not to be belittled and made feel like you're being trivial. You don't know the hardships in others lives, though they may seem little to you. There isn't a specific level of SA required to be here. Everyone here is meant to be helping each other.


I think you misunderstood what she meant. I believe she was simply agreeing with what you said and also stressing how severely anxiety affects her life, to the point where she feels like she can't drive, let alone handle college. Her post didn't seem insensitive or belittling to me. Just saying.


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## DrPepper31 (Jan 27, 2013)

That's exactly what I went through 10 years ago! I went to community college then transferred to university-I had no clue what I wanted to do, what job I wanted, etc, etc. I dropped half of my classes, I was lonely, had no friends, didn't have any direction whatsoever. I would just sit in the library or shop for hours!!! My parents didn't find out until later and boy, was I in trouble! What really made it terrible was going to class, getting into group projects and not connecting with anyone in class-no one wanted to be my friend, I felt worthless. Now, I work at a job doing data entry, its not too bad-it fits my personality, its low-pay, meanwhile I've been trying to find another job-but most of the good paying jobs require a degree, its a no win situation, I do plan on going to a community college and at least getting a 2 year degree to have under my belt-I just regret wasting those 6 years of doing nothing, and just taken advantage of having the perks while still living with my parents and just picking a major. Now, I have to work full time and go to school which is alot harder to do.


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## burningpile (Feb 14, 2014)

I dropped out of my program during the first year, pretty much shocking everybody, I was just happy to be away from it all that I could care less about how it made my mom feel. Six years later and I've fully regretted the decision, I've been thinking about getting a 2 year diploma but it scares the **** out of me.
Either way, I saved myself a load of debt. Talking to others I've found that chem majors don't make a lot of money.
@ Stanger In Moscow , did you have to do military service after dropping out?


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## Stranger In Moscow (Jul 6, 2013)

burningpile said:


> I dropped out of my program during the first year, pretty much shocking everybody, I was just happy to be away from it all that I could care less about how it made my mom feel. Six years later and I've fully regretted the decision, I've been thinking about getting a 2 year diploma but it scares the **** out of me.
> Either way, I saved myself a load of debt. Talking to others I've found that chem majors don't make a lot of money.
> @ Stanger In Moscow , did you have to do military service after dropping out?


Yes, the debt is another thing that makes a person in this situation drops out, is terrible see the spending money with you in a situation like this.

And of course didn't want and was able to escape from military service, but almost here everyone says it's a waste of time for those who don't want to follow a career inside...


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## angelsfood (Jul 24, 2014)

21 never started, never will. Going to make it another way. College is worse than all the years of school before it combined, and all the info is child's play even at universities like Stanford. Which is where I got conned into believing it was somehow special.


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## turd ferguson (Sep 24, 2014)

for me university has been a long, hard slog. i have another year to go which is possibly the hardest. the classes this year are advanced and i have to do a research project. learning to work a spectrophotometer or neutron diffraction when I barely know how to use a cafetiere.


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## turd ferguson (Sep 24, 2014)

in fact i think the stress caused by university is unhealthy and unneccesary, but what can you do? gotta jump through these hoops or its back on welfare.


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## Aardvark (Sep 23, 2014)

I'm probably gonna drop out next year (my senior year, lol), but not because of SAD. Because I absolutely hate all of the dumb, useless core classes.

College is a scam and a waste of money. I can learn more on my own for free.


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## WhispersWithWolf (Apr 23, 2014)

Yerp. I totally stopped going to the local community college for about a year. When I first got there, I was going for a degree in Graphic Design. Big mistake. I had no idea what I was getting into. I honestly thought we would mostly just be drawing and putting pictures online. Wrong. I had no idea what I was doing. Plus I looked like a total idiot when I had to present my "designs"

Fast forward and I m taking bio which is a lot easier. 

Maybe you should go for a major that is more in line with your interests/hobbies. Doing so may make it a little less stressful. If you are enjoying what you are study, it will hopefully take your mind off your stresses. Also, it might be easier to connect with other people since you have the same major. That isn't to say that everyone with the same major will automatically become friends, but you will automatically have a topic discuss. That can lead to discussing other things and possibly more common interests. 


Also, sometimes its just bad luck. Sometimes you get bad professors and peers and sometimes you don't. You can't let them decide your life. Just keep trying. Maybe a vocational school or entrepreneurship or trade might be a better fit. Not everyone take the cookie cutter "safe" (ahem) route of university to gainful employment.


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## spititout (Sep 7, 2014)

computers are depressing as fck.
just because its "technological" or and advancement in technological terms (i.e. the iphone 14) doesnt mean its healthy.

university is seemingly pretty depressing. you have to be strong to last there (if youre a guy)


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## spititout (Sep 7, 2014)

Farideh said:


> My oldest sister got married and has her own home building her life. I'm still in the same phase.


ever notice how women are always mentally sweet and paving their own way? because they have support - whether in the form of a bf or her girlfriends. guys are just idiotic always trying to be tough n shyt. it just pisses me off how society makes out like women are intelligent and capable when in reality they just dont have to deal with the same level of bs that most guys do.


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## stress head (Sep 28, 2014)

spititout said:


> ever notice how women are always mentally sweet and paving their own way? because they have support - whether in the form of a bf or her girlfriends. guys are just idiotic always trying to be tough n shyt. it just pisses me off how society makes out like women are intelligent and capable when in reality they just dont have to deal with the same level of bs that most guys do.


I think upbringing plays a much larger part.

I know a girl (and a guy) who went to grammar school and the difference in their life and their confidence compared to me is insane.

The girl spent a year abroad at uni in hong kong, took park in all kinds of societies back here and then walked straight into a graduate job. Right now she's travelling in with friends in chile.

She has a never ending supply of confidence and positivity and everything in her life seems right. She is totally independent and she did it without a partner or anyone. Basically she was brought up to succeed.


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## kittys (Sep 26, 2014)

i was extremely overwhelmed when i first started college because i just started having panic attacks in senior year of highschool and my first diagnosis of anxiety and therapy was that year too. i had no idea what i wanted to do for study and my anxiety only starts in classrooms. i didn't know how to take it once college started, and i tried for 2 years to get over it, but it was impossible. i took a leave last year, but i do plan to go back once my anxiety gets better.


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## Danae (Nov 1, 2013)

I keep switching my classes around a lot and dropping classes when they make me too anxious. I really wish I could just stick to something. I think I've found what I really want to do now, though. I'm glad about that. I try and do as many external classes as possible because attending Uni is usually really horrible, especially since I've been there for years and haven't made a single friend.


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## keithjm (Apr 25, 2014)

I dropped out of several semesters because my acne was so bad, I could not bear to have anyone see me. What hurt even more was how the social people got better grades because they would study and do homework together. I had to figure everything out all on my own while they had help from other students. I would spend 5 hours on homework, they would do 2 hours of homework and get better grades because they had help via their social network. That really hurts.


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## plarp (Sep 29, 2014)

spititout said:


> ever notice how women are always mentally sweet and paving their own way? because they have support - whether in the form of a bf or her girlfriends. guys are just idiotic always trying to be tough n shyt. it just pisses me off how society makes out like women are intelligent and capable when in reality they just dont have to deal with the same level of bs that most guys do.


If they are attractive.


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## WanderingMind001 (May 4, 2014)

Yeah OP college is a real challenge, especially for SA people.

I went to college fall of last year not having any academic talents(or at least not ones for a career in high demand for workers) nor ambition to become something. So, I just chose communication studies and went with the flow for general ed classes. Yeah so, I took com classes to improve in whatever I'm lacking and plus I didn't think I had a shot at anything else, especially math based classes. I only finished one semester and one quarter then I took a break to work. Long story short about work: I got experience but I never got paid. So, I was going to go back to college but then I remembered how apathetic I was and how I didn't pass some classes or withdrew from a math class. Knowing that I decided that I won't come back. Although, I am planning to go to a vocational school this coming January after the holidays. It's my last shot now, further education wise. I gotta try my best not to mess this up. I've also gotta find ways to get a higher chance of being hired too. A degree or certificate isn't enough in this current state of the job market.


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## uselessgoodfornothing (Sep 10, 2013)

keithjm said:


> I dropped out of several semesters because my acne was so bad, I could not bear to have anyone see me. What hurt even more was how the social people got better grades because they would study and do homework together. I had to figure everything out all on my own while they had help from other students. I would spend 5 hours on homework, they would do 2 hours of homework and get better grades because they had help via their social network. That really hurts.


Exactly. And they all group together in class and help each other, so it's so much easier for them, where as we're stuck alone which not only makes us feel horrible it actually makes the work harder when you don't have a friend to help you


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