# She's 13 and he's 26! How can she convince him it's not okay for her!



## Wowcoolxd (Apr 22, 2013)

Okay I met this girl @Yahoo answers. She's just 13. But still she sounds very smart, matured and intelligent. And we are very good friends now (only friends). And I just received this mail from her. 

"Ok so I met this guy on y!answers a month or two ago...he needed help to get over a girl and I did 
After that he became very friendly and I did the same ...we became quite close and it was all ok after a few weeks of our meet .... He was acting too romantic and calling me sweety, honey ,darling and etc and he always asked me to come online...I miss u and he said all that...I did not really bother and I spoke to him normally..just as a friend nothing more 
And then after tat he told me the story of his life and he was hurt many times and his childhood was extremely sad..so basically the point is he has a very broken heart...so I did not want to hurt his by saying that it annoys me so I kept quiet...and then when I asked him how old he is he said he was 26...I was like what the- I told him I was 13 but it did not matter to him at all ....
But still we continued talking and I told him I liked a guy from school he totally broke up..I said it was not my fault and he kept on saying I ditched him...we were just friends and I told him I don't want anything else ....after that we did not talk for a long time and he mailed me and said sorry ..well to make a long story short we started talking again and he was still all romantic and he got possessive about me day by day and finally he asked me for a relation I said no ways cus our age difference is just too damn much so..not possible so he said on love there is no age and blah blah so I said I was not in love with him and he got crazy about me.. Now he only thinks about me and he misses me like hell ... I don't wanna break his heart so I talk to him.. And one day he said I should stop talking to him cus his life is getting complicated so I was happy but like I idiot I acted as if I will miss him and blah. Blah so he said he will never leave me...so now let's end this story and get to the point 
He like me and I want to get rid of him...I want him to lose interest in me 
I would not mind if he was my age but the thing is he is too old for me..
I just want u to help me out how to make him lose interest in me and forget me? 
I know I should not be so rude but its a real problem
Thanks in advance  


So do you guys have any solution for her. The thing is she doesn't want to hurt him. She just want to be his friend. 

Thanks in anticipation!


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## Nono441 (May 14, 2012)

Just tell her to run the **** away. This isn't really healthy.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

Tell the police because it's probably a child predator.


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

Police please


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## Wowcoolxd (Apr 22, 2013)

Okay that means you guys can't help in this!


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

Wowcoolxd said:


> Okay that means you guys can't help in this!


An acquaintance of mine has a particular pet peeve about people not listening... I can see how she feels.

Listen.

There is no possible friendship. He's guilting her to be with him. He's being abusive right out of the gate. Go ahead and threaten to cut him off, I would bet $5 he threatens to kill himself.

Plus she's only 13. This guy... No seriously you should call the cops.

He's either terribly mentally unstable or a child predator. In both scenarios the best option is to get the hell out.


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

You can't be just "friends" with someone who is clearly obsessed with you. She should cut all contact with him, it's not healthy in any way for an adult man to be talking to a kid like this.


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## JAkDy (Jan 23, 2011)

That random bloke fits what the rest of us call a pedophile. She should say "NO" and bail.

Believe it or not, when a girl isn't interested you're allowed to simply say 'no'.
That guy should get over it himself (and possibly seek his own help), that's not really her job.


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## HollowPrince (Dec 9, 2012)

Dude, just... ugh. Tell her to tell the police.


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## SilentWitness (Dec 27, 2009)

She doesn't want to hurt him?! He won't get hurt, just inconvenienced to not get his jailbait. She's over dramatizing the whole situation, she probably should report him but as she cares about his feelings, i don't think that's likely. 

All she's got to do is block him, so simple. Ugh


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## Glass Child (Feb 28, 2013)

Sounds a lot like someone I used to talk to. He was 21 and I was 14. That friend of yours has a good heart, just confused judgement(I can relate to that).

Tell her to cut contacts. He will be okay without her, even if she feels like she deserted him. It isn't her fault things are the way they are, and she can't have regrets for escaping from a dangerous situation.

Also, he is way too old for her, even if she is mature enough to talk to adults. The fact he is obsessing over her is not healthy in the least, and will only get worse over time.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Wowcoolxd said:


> and then when I asked him how old he is he said he was 26...I was like what the-


Duh, this is why it's good to get the ages out in the open right off the bat.

As to the "solution for her" -- Obviously, she needs to cut contact. She should just block him without even saying another word to him.

If he manages to pry some location information out of her, it's a potentially dangerous situation.

Yikes. I have a niece who's 13. Wow. If I found out something like this, I'd have to tell her parents. I mean, I'd talk to her and get her to a point where she was OK with me doing that, but I'd tell her parents regardless of whether she wanted me to. I wouldn't take the chance that she'd handle it on her own.



Wowcoolxd said:


> She just want to be his friend.


She needs to know that it doesn't work that way.

Even ignoring the age thing, if a guy wants a relationship with a girl and the girl only wants to be "friends" -- it's not going to work. Just let it go.

If you don't know this girl personally and can't get in touch with an adult in her family (which is the first thing I would suggest), then I would say just be insistent with her about the potential danger, that he's a predator, and that she should cut off contact. Failing that, then maybe you could forward the relevant information to someone at Yahoo Answers :stu


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## Jig210 (Jan 24, 2013)

Sounds like he needs to be reported. Next thing you know hes going to guilt her into sending him pictures, then threaten her later in life to send more stuff. It does and has happened. 

Has to cut contact.


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## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

Wowcoolxd said:


> Okay I met this girl @Yahoo answers. She's just 13. But still she sounds very *smart, matured and intelligent*. And we are very good friends now (only friends). And I just received this mail from her.


I didn't get that impression at all from the amount of grammatical mistakes in her message to you. Why are you making friends with 13 year old girls on yahoo answers? Aren't you 22?


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## Wowcoolxd (Apr 22, 2013)

ManOfFewWords said:


> Why are you making friends with 13 year old girls on yahoo answers? Aren't you 22?


Hey yes I'm 22! But why shouldn't I do friendship with a 13 year old girl mate? What's wrong in that? And please note that grammatical mistakes doesn't have anything to do with one's maturity and smartness!


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## SilentWitness (Dec 27, 2009)

Wowcoolxd said:


> Hey yes I'm 22! But why shouldn't I do friendship with a 13 year old girl mate? *What's wrong in that?* And please note that grammatical mistakes doesn't have anything to do with one's maturity and smartness!


When your in a cell doing time cause her parents don't like her being 'friends' with a 22 yr old man then ask.....

also, you know what's up, why act so stupid? You'll be crying when you're put on the sex offenders list, stop acting so innocent. ugh


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## Wowcoolxd (Apr 22, 2013)

SilentWitness said:


> When your in a cell doing time cause her parents don't like her being 'friends' with a 22 yr old man then ask.....
> 
> also, you know what's up, why act so stupid? You'll be crying when you're put on the sex offenders list, stop acting so innocent. ugh


... Seriously? I don't even... Just... HOW? Idiot.

What's wrong with you guys lol? If talking to a 13 year old girl by a 22 year old man is an offence, then I can say even breathing air is a crime!!!


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

Or don't listen to me and put your friend's well-being at risk.

That's cool too.


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## SilentWitness (Dec 27, 2009)

Wowcoolxd said:


> ... Seriously? I don't even... Just... HOW? Idiot.
> 
> What's wrong with you guys lol? If talking to a 13 year old girl by a 22 year old man is an offence, then I can say even breathing air is a crime!!!


The cops would call it 'grooming' what you're doing. Will you stop with the butt hurt **** too? I'm calling you out for what you are doing, just be glad it's not the cops!


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## Wowcoolxd (Apr 22, 2013)

SilentWitness said:


> The cops would call it 'grooming' what you're doing. Will you stop with the butt hurt **** too? I'm calling you out for what you are doing, just be glad it's not the cops!


To be honest, I didn't get what you're exactly trying to tell me by that! Can you elaborate it a little?


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## SaikoSakura382 (Nov 8, 2011)

Tell her to just cut off contact, he will not want to settle with friends, he's way too obssesed. And it's pointless to call the police, unless he sent her sexual messages or told her he wanted to do things to her then the police can do nothing. Absolutely nothing. They can put his y!answers name on file, and they may watch him for awhile, but other than that he did nothing illegal so they can do nothing.



SilentWitness said:


> When your in a cell doing time cause her parents don't like her being 'friends' with a 22 yr old man then ask.....
> 
> also, you know what's up, why act so stupid? You'll be crying when you're put on the sex offenders list, stop acting so innocent. ugh


He will not get arrested for being friends with someone even someone under age, they can only arrest him if they have evidence of sex. There are a lot of grown people (over 18 who are friends with younger kids and the parents don't mind. Next door neighbors are of various ages, some kids go to recreation centers and meet people, and then there are things like big brother; most parents find the older kids to be good roll models. Of course if they are a low life then the parents will stop communication, but they can't have them arrested. He won't be put on the sex offender's list either. Please use your brian, it's up there for more reasons than filling space.


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## SilentWitness (Dec 27, 2009)

SaikoSakura382 said:


> Tell her to just cut off contact, he will not want to settle with friends, he's way too obssesed. And it's pointless to call the police, unless he sent her sexual messages or told her he wanted to do things to her then the police can do nothing. Absolutely nothing. They can put his y!answers name on file, and they may watch him for awhile, but other than that he did nothing illegal so they can do nothing.
> 
> He will not get arrested for being friends with someone even someone under age, they can only arrest him if they have evidence of sex. There are a lot of grown people (over 18 who are friends with younger kids and the parents don't mind. Next door neighbors are of various ages, some kids go to recreation centers and meet people, and then there are things like big brother; most parents find the older kids to be good roll models. Of course if they are a* low life t*hen the parents will stop communication, but they can't have them arrested. He won't be put on the sex offender's list either. Please use your brian, it's up there for more reasons than filling space.


You know, this is what gives me the ****s! You guys that encourage another guy to keep a relationship with a 13 yr old girl. When it all falls down, where will you be? Will you protect him? Use YOUR brain!!

Calling a parent a low life for protecting their daughter???!!! You need help.


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## Wowcoolxd (Apr 22, 2013)

SilentWitness said:


> You know, this is what gives me the ****s! You guys that encourage another guy to keep a relationship with a 13 yr old girl. When it all falls down, where will you be? Will you protect him? Use YOUR brain!!
> 
> Calling a parent a low life for protecting their daughter???!!! You need help.


Okay may I know what you want me to do actually?


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Why don't you have a seat over there?


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## SilentWitness (Dec 27, 2009)

^ haha yes!


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## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

Right on cue Mr. Hansen


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## Wowcoolxd (Apr 22, 2013)

ManOfFewWords said:


> Right on cue Mr. Hansen





SilentWitness said:


> ^ haha yes!


Well I don't know if there's something wrong with me, or with you! I just can't understand what you're saying.......


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## lilyamongthorns (Aug 13, 2012)

This girl is naive. If she was an adult she would see this clearly. The guy is a pedophile. Period. She wants to be nice to this "poor" guy. He knows exactly what he is doing! She is 13! She needs to cut contact immediately. If he starts threatening her, she needs to report him to the police. I don't think it would hurt if she reported him now because he is probably going to look for his next victim after her. She should save his messages as evidence. She needs to tell her parents about him, and they really need to step up and protect her because this guy is already very pushy.


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## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

Wowcoolxd said:


> Well I don't if there's something wrong with me or with you! I just can't understand what you're saying.......


You're not metcognicent of the situation.


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## Wowcoolxd (Apr 22, 2013)

ManOfFewWords said:


> You're not metcognicent of the situation.


Okay this is just getting stupid! I'm backing off!


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## lilyamongthorns (Aug 13, 2012)

Wowcoolxd, it does seem inappropriate for a 22 year to friend a 13 year old. I refuse to add teens here to my SAS friends list because you never know, they might accuse you of something or take something the wrong way and you can get in a lot of trouble. I also don't want a youngster to start crushing on me, so I see it my responsibility to guard their heart. So just be cautious. I am glad you are concerned for your friend. Please warn her about this guy.


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## SilentWitness (Dec 27, 2009)

lilyamongthorns said:


> Wowcoolxd, it does seem inappropriate for a 22 year to friend a 13 year old. I refuse to add teens here to my SAS friends list because you never know, they might accuse you of something or take something the wrong way and you can get in a lot of trouble. I also don't want a youngster to start crushing on me, so I see it my responsibility to guard their heart. So just be cautious. I am glad you are concerned for your friend. Please warn her about this guy.


I agree lily, well said. :yes


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## NightWingLikeABoss (Sep 11, 2011)

lilyamongthorns said:


> Wowcoolxd, it does seem inappropriate for a 22 year to friend a 13 year old. I refuse to add teens here to my SAS friends list because you never know, they might accuse you of something or take something the wrong way and you can get in a lot of trouble. I also don't want a youngster to start crushing on me, so I see it my responsibility to guard their heart. So just be cautious. I am glad you are concerned for your friend. Please warn her about this guy.


^This.

Though, I will say a 22 year old *befriending* a 13 year old is not inherently wrong (If the 13 year old is fun to talk to and mature, and the 22 year old is the "Papa bear"/non-romantic white knight type of friend then it makes sense), but there are implications that can be drawn, and in today's excessively pedophile-phobic society, it could land you in ridiculous amounts of hot water regardless of how pure your intentions are.

Secondly, she needs to cut off all ties with this man. He is manipulative, and is seeking a romantic relationship with someone who's barely even a teenager, regardless of any kind of maturity you want to drag into this.
Either he is a predator and into young children, or he is unstable enough to have no problems chasing a young girl so relentlessly. No matter how one looks at it this man is dangerous, and in this situation, trying to be nice and sensitive can put her in harm's way. This, as other posters have said, could even be the sort of problem for authorities to tackle, but as also previously stated this could be troublesome for you too.


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## forex (Dec 29, 2010)

well , everybody gets hurt/offended some time in there life.
it isn't a big deal to say whats on your mind , the longer you wait and hold back the stronger the feeling of getting hurt will be.

it's for him to choose, if he still insist then it's better to cut all contact
bc of the age , you aspect a 26 to be mature and make decisions on a mature level.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

DiceMan said:


> Be honest this "guy" is really the OP. Its obvious now why he's getting butthurt over the comments.


Do you have any proof of this? Or are you just speculating?

---

Don't attack the OP, this isn't about him. Who are we to judge anyway?


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

There is no reason for you to befriend a 13 year old being 22.

Also, She should just block and end all communication with this dude.


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## wallenstein (Mar 27, 2013)

Tell her to contact Chris Hansen.


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## mistylake (Apr 24, 2012)

opcorn


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## xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxMrFunnyPants (Apr 1, 2013)

WowcoolXD- This situation is not okay, he is clearly not thinking straight. She needs to end all communication or you need to report this guy to prevent anything bad happening. I used to have a customer at my work years ago, he was a nice guy but extremely private. He would come in just to talk and told me I was his only friend.

One day the police knock on my door BECAUSE THIS HAPPENED!!!!!!-
http://news.smh.com.au/breaking-news-world/qld-man-faces-puerto-rico-sex-charges-20090626-cym0.html

**** got real! I wish I had the knowledge that you have back then because maybe I could of done something about it.


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## Wowcoolxd (Apr 22, 2013)

@Diceman: What the heck dude! When was I getting butthurt over the comments (only when someone said, it's not appropriate to friend a 13 year old girl, I just said it is not)? Well it isn't me! And she is just a good friend. That is all...... 

@Nada: That just sounds stupid and insane!


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## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

Are you the guy?


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## BiagioScanz444 (May 8, 2013)

Pedolicious


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## Wowcoolxd (Apr 22, 2013)

For one last time I want to make it clear that I'm not that guy. She just asked me for help in dealing with this!


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## Mr Grey (Jan 15, 2013)

Wowcoolxd said:


> Okay I *met this girl @Yahoo answers*. *She's just 13*. But still she sounds very smart, matured and intelligent. And we are very good friends now (only friends). And I just received this mail from her.


Unless you are a fellow teenager, that was your queue to bail out and act like you never knew her.


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## Mr Grey (Jan 15, 2013)

Sacrieur said:


> Plus she's only 13. This guy... No seriously you should call the cops.


As a father of a 13yo I say, screw the cops! Let the father handle the perv.:clap


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## Perkins (Dec 14, 2010)

I had something similar happen to me when I was 14. Only he wasn't so possessive, thank God, but he did have some kind of infatuation with me. He was 26/27. Basically I just stopped giving him the time of day, and he got the message.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

Mr Grey said:


> As a father of a 13yo I say, screw the cops! Let the father handle the perv.:clap


I advise against telling the parents.

Parents tend to overreact and it's possible she could suffer negative repercussions.


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

this is all the advice you need: stop emailing 13 year olds.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

Elad said:


> this is all the advice you need: stop emailing 13 year olds.


Ignoring the problem doesn't change the fact there is a 26 y/o who is a threat to a 13 y/o.

We can do something about it, so we should.


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## Mr Grey (Jan 15, 2013)

Sacrieur said:


> I advise against telling the parents.
> 
> *Parents tend to overreact* and it's possible she could suffer negative repercussions.


Yeah, you have a point there Sacri... I would, definitely, over react.


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

Sacrieur said:


> Ignoring the problem doesn't change the fact there is a 26 y/o who is a threat to a 13 y/o.
> 
> We can do something about it, so we should.


since shes still a child I think the only thing that should be done is notify the parents if there is a threat, its up to them to deal with it and their young daughter. getting any further involved, even if meaning well can possibly get you into some real ****. so tell them and then cut emails.

overreacting parents vs. child in danger, not a hard decision.


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## Wowcoolxd (Apr 22, 2013)

Okay so I told her to cut all contact with him! (Added a few points like he'll be alright without her, in sometime and time heals everything)

And here is an extract of her reply:
"Thank you so much ❤ I just hope he does not get heart broken��
I will say that I am too busy with my studies and stuff so I won't be able to mail him...and just break our contact....."


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

That seems like the best option.

But you'll have to wait and see how it goes.



Elad said:


> since shes still a child I think the only thing that should be done is notify the parents if there is a threat, its up to them to deal with it and their young daughter. getting any further involved, even if meaning well can possibly get you into some real ****. so tell them and then cut emails.
> 
> overreacting parents vs. child in danger, not a hard decision.


13 isn't quite what I'd call a child. We don't need her parents going harsh on her for doing something out of naivety. Think, the parents can't do anything about the guy online, they're part of an older generation that mostly doesn't understand the internet culture, and they're likely protective of their daughter.

What do you think is going to happen?

She's going to take the blame for it. All she was doing was being nice to this guy, in her eyes. Being punished for this is only going to discourage that sort of kind, sweet, and caring behavior.

Plus it teaches her how to deal with her own problems.

It's simply fortunate that she has a friend like Wowcoolxd who cared enough to help her -- and when he couldn't -- did the next best thing and asked for help.

---

You did the right thing, Wow.


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## Wowcoolxd (Apr 22, 2013)

Sacrieur said:


> You did the right thing, Wow.


Hey thanks mate! You're probably the only person who understood intention of this thread correctly. And yes, I'm sure she'll be alright as she completely breaks the contact with that lad. So there is no way that he could cause any trouble to her than.

And I would like to know what's your age is Mr./Ms. Sacrieur?


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## NightWingLikeABoss (Sep 11, 2011)

Wowcoolxd said:


> Hey thanks mate! You're probably the only person who understood intention of this thread correctly. And yes, I'm sure she'll be alright as she completely breaks the contact with that lad. So there is no way that he could cause any trouble to her than.
> 
> And I would like to know what's your age is Mr./Ms. Sacrieur?


Actually, many of us were making that exact same point. You were too busy blindly defending your friendship and ignoring all else that was written.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

NightWingLikeABoss said:


> Actually, many of us were making that exact same point. You were too busy blindly defending your friendship and ignoring all else that was written.


There's something I learned from someone: people are more receptive if you talk to them rather than down to them.


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

NightWingLikeABoss said:


> Actually, many of us were making that exact same point. You were too busy blindly defending your friendship and ignoring all else that was written.


This.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

weird


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## Charmander (Sep 5, 2012)

NightWingLikeABoss said:


> Actually, many of us were making that exact same point. You were too busy blindly defending your friendship and ignoring all else that was written.


Exactly.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

Must be expensive to feed all of those horses.


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## xgodmetashogun (Apr 2, 2013)

Interesting


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## Wowcoolxd (Apr 22, 2013)

NightWingLikeABoss said:


> Actually, many of us were making that exact same point. You were too busy blindly defending your friendship and ignoring all else that was written.


Well sorry and thanks to you too and to all others who gave useful advice to my question.


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## NightWingLikeABoss (Sep 11, 2011)

Wowcoolxd said:


> Well sorry and thanks to you too and to all others who gave useful advice to the my question.


I forgive you.
And you are welcome:boogie


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## SaikoSakura382 (Nov 8, 2011)

SilentWitness said:


> You know, this is what gives me the ****s! You guys that encourage another guy to keep a relationship with a 13 yr old girl. When it all falls down, where will you be? Will you protect him? Use YOUR brain!!
> 
> Calling a parent a low life for protecting their daughter???!!! You need help.


I wasn't calling the parent a low life genious, I was saying if the *OTHER PERSON* is a low life then the parents will stop the communication. And you're telling me to use my brain?

You're missing the point, while some people are after under age people for sex, there are still a lot of people who are filling the roles of either big brother, big sister, and if the kid is missing a parent they can help fill that role. The OP doesn't sound like a pervert to me, and I've had profiling criminals as a hobby of mine for many years now so I think I would have good judgment in that area.


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

I find it funny how people act so hostile to criticism on this board when this probably the most polite, timid board I've ever seen.


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## 87Daniel (Jun 9, 2012)

:| could you not see all of this coming your way when you thought about creating this thread? you should've known better than to ask for help on SAS.
Seriously though, explain to your friend what the other guy's intentions/state of mind are/is, advise her to cut off contact. 
As far as you being friends with that girl, I can see very clearly why that freaks out many people, I mean you have a 22yo and a 26yo befriending a 13yo, one of them is a psycho, the other one is _____ ??? We just don't know. I'm not going as far as saying you're up to something devious but you do need to consider how that looks to the outside world. For some reason I don't think you're up to something bad, if it's only friendship there's really nothing wrong, the world is just too scared (with many good reasons) of the whole pedo thing.


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## VanGogh (Jan 13, 2013)

I call BS on this whole thread.


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## I Punt Puppies (May 6, 2013)

VanGogh said:


> I call BS on this whole thread.


Well after seeing the other thread, I agree. He/she is looking for hits on their profile lol


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## Wowcoolxd (Apr 22, 2013)

I Punt Puppies said:


> Well after seeing the other thread, I agree. He/she is looking for hits on their profile lol


I wonder what would one get if people view his/her profile!!!


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Your story is weird and creepy.

:no


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## Wowcoolxd (Apr 22, 2013)

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Your story is weird and creepy.
> 
> :no


Because you're weird and creepy!


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