# Forming Fluent/Coherent Spoken Sentences



## huh (Mar 19, 2007)

This has been an issue that has gotten worse as my social anxiety has gotten worse. I've found that I usually have no problem expressing my thoughts and forming understandable and well thought out sentences if I actually write them.

However, when I try to form a sentence on the fly in a conversation with someone I always manage to screw it up. I cannot think of a word or I start to word my sentences the wrong way and they don't flow, or I constantly have to backtrack and correct myself because I doubt what I even just said. I also seem to have a horrible working memory, which probably causes a lot of my grief. I never used to have this issue though.

It's not that I have nothing to say, I just don't know how to say it and by the time I have it correctly thought out it would be pointless to bring the topic back up. I'm guessing most people with SA experience this to some degree. I'd be interested to here what others have to say about this. I'm just not sure how to actually combat this issue.


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## SadRosesAreBeautiful (May 15, 2008)

I used to have to write things I needed to say down on paper before I called anyone on the phone...anyone meaning people outside my immediate family. I would get so nervous even thinking about it. But I started making my self "wing it" as it were and it has helped a bit. I stumble over my words like crazy sometimes, but I look at it as good practice and learning to deal with embarrassment. 

It's the same in person. I tend to form incoherent sentences since I'm so nervous and end up not making any sense, only to received raised eyebrows from my counterpart. It's really embarrassing. I don't really know what to do about it other than looking at it as good practice. I can have a conversation with my mom without stumbling too much, but it's totally different around anyone else, even my sister who always intentionally makes me feel like crap, so naturally I'll feel nervous when talking to her. 

I have a memory problem too. I'll be in a converstation with someone and will forget what I'm talking about mid-sentence. Or they'll be talking and I'll go to say something and forget what I was going to say or forget what they were talking about. It's really frustrating I know. I attribute this completely to social anxiety, although I can forget what I'm saying when I'm talking to my mom too, but it's much worse when talking to someone else.


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

Oh, how I can relate! I've developed this anxiety/OCD thing with grammar, causing me to overanalyze everything I say to the point where it doesn't come out right. I have a bachelors and a doctorate (in two different fields) and you'd never be able to tell. :sigh One of my future projects involves spending some quality time with a grammar book.


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## dax (Nov 19, 2004)

I have the same exact problems. Mostly in the work place. Which is the worst place to have it. If I had money and time I'd see a speech therapist/specialist or something. Maybe that would help.


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## styler5 (Oct 7, 2006)

Yes. In addition, English is not my mother tongue, and my spoken English improved little over the last 5 years b/c of SA. I can write a bit better though b/c I have time to think and can talk with ppl by posting online.


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## huh (Mar 19, 2007)

SadRosesAreBeautiful said:


> I used to have to write things I needed to say down on paper before I called anyone on the phone...anyone meaning people outside my immediate family. I would get so nervous even thinking about it. But I started making my self "wing it" as it were and it has helped a bit. I stumble over my words like crazy sometimes, but I look at it as good practice and learning to deal with embarrassment.


Yeah, I'd do that same thing with writing things down before calling people. I stopped because I think it was making me more nervous, heh.

I suppose I can look at my mess ups as good practice at least...I definitely need it.



Phoebus said:


> It's like I've developed this anxiety/OCD thing with grammar, causing me to overanalyze everything I say to the point where it doesn't come out right.


Exactly! I overanalyze everything as well. Sometimes I see it as a great trait because sometimes it makes me doubt things that others may take for granted and gives me a more nuanced view of different issues. But in another respect it's horribly crippling in social situations (in most cases).


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## aw3se4dr5 (Jan 4, 2009)

when i'm forced to talk to strangers my voice breaks and i can't really talk too well and it was a big problem for me in high school people would make fun of me and call me retard... =/


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## ilikebooks (Nov 26, 2008)

I pretty much learned three languages at the same time (English, French, and German) and I think that and SA have completely messed up my ability to speak properly. I'll either throw in words or sounds from other languages (common ones include pronouncing "st" like "sht" or "th" like "s"), or I'll have to completely stop a conversation and start thinking of the proper word.

I think it's because now I've become so much more aware of this. I'm so focused on not making silly mistakes when I talk that I actually forget what I'm talking about, and then the anxiety kicks in more and everything turns into a huge mess.


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## solasum (Nov 17, 2008)

It happens to me at work, where I constantly have to talk to people. I sound like an idiot. Anything I do say to the customer is stiff and formulaic. I hate when I'm trying to make a joke and I mess up the words.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

Yeah, same. I wonder sometimes if it's genetic, because my younger, extroverted sister has this problem too.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I have this problem as well, I have a tendency to slur words mid sentence both when I'm feeling SA symptoms and when I'm not. I find it embarrassing but then again I find everything SA related embarrassing. At times I when I do speak I find people are not interested in what I'm saying so I'm not to keen on long conversation and often keep my thoughts to myself. I have taken up poetry to go along with writing music and it helps as it's a way of expressing yourself thoroughly and completely without reservation.


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## bitofajungle (Jan 23, 2009)

huh said:


> However, when I try to form a sentence on the fly in a conversation with someone I always manage to screw it up. I cannot think of a word or I start to word my sentences the wrong way and they don't flow, or I constantly have to backtrack and correct myself because I doubt what I even just said. I also seem to have a horrible working memory, which probably causes a lot of my grief. I never used to have this issue though.


That is me, word for word.


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## yellowpaper (Nov 13, 2007)

I'm like this too, but also with writing. Once I write something, I often have to edit it multiple times before it's "right". In my AP english classes in high school, I could write essays very well, but I took forever to perfect them. I was horrible at timed writings though, in comparison to my regular essays. I improved a bit, but I just can't form thoughts while under pressure. I can't really translate what I'm thinking into words right now either.


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## shychick2 (Oct 20, 2008)

I sometimes just can't say anything coherent. It is there in my head but I can't put it into words or express myself properly. I just look at the person and panic. I also start to talk and forget what I am saying and stop and panic. There is also going blank and only saying the minimum of words.

I am great writing things down, again I'm someone with a doctorate, but talking out loud.... :b
Actually I'm not too bad at presentations as I have prepared the talk already and have prompts and no-one who will interrupt and take over the conversation if I freeze


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