# I can't cry anymore?



## Daniel C

I know this is going to sound weird but it's something that's really bothering me. My depression has been going on for a little longer than a year now. In the beginning I used to cry a lot about it, as much as every week, when I felt really bad even every day. But since some months I find myself unable to, well, just get tears out of my eyes. This probably sounds like a positive development but it doesn't feel like that. I always had the feeling crying made me feel better, like I could momentarily pour out the heavy burden that rested on me. But know I'm just stuck with this burden day in day out and I have no idea what I could do about it. I often actually feel like crying, but the tears just won't come. I've ever moved to the point where I'm actively trying to make myself cry by playing sad music or looking at nostalgic photos, but nothing will work. (I feel so pathetic about that last line. Please don't judge me for it.) 
Anyway, it's really bothering me. I think the reason could maybe be that I've been on medication for some months now, but if I recall correctly my crying blockade actually started before I started taking medication (though I'm not entirely sure). So does anyone know what the cause may be? And also if you can do anything about it? Thanks a lot.


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## ElectricEnigma

Daniel C said:


> I know this is going to sound weird but it's something that's really bothering me. My depression has been going on for a little longer than a year now. In the beginning I used to cry a lot about it, as much as every week, when I felt really bad even every day. But since some months I find myself unable to, well, just get tears out of my eyes. This probably sounds like a positive development but it doesn't feel like that. I always had the feeling crying made me feel better, like I could momentarily pour out the heavy burden that rested on me. But know I'm just stuck with this burden day in day out and I have no idea what I could do about it. I often actually feel like crying, but the tears just won't come. I've ever moved to the point where I'm actively trying to make myself cry by playing sad music or looking at nostalgic photos, but nothing will work. (I feel so pathetic about that last line. Please don't judge me for it.)
> Anyway, it's really bothering me. I think the reason could maybe be that I've been on medication for some months now, but if I recall correctly my crying blockade actually started before I started taking medication (though I'm not entirely sure). So does anyone know what the cause may be? And also if you can do anything about it? Thanks a lot.


I find it hard to cry as well. I am guessing my medication may be partially to blame as it blunts me emotionally. And no, I am not going to judge you at all.  Feel free to message me if you would like, I will listen.


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## probably offline

I don't cry either and I don't try to make myself do it. I cried so much as a kid that it feels like I ran out of tears. I only cry when animals get hurt or to music/films sometimes. It would probably help to release some anxiety from time to time.


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## Brasilia

I deal with a similar issue, although It's not due to depression (at this present moment). It seems to me, and I may be wrong, that you've reached a point at which your emotions are too intense, making it hard for you to release them normally. I've heard people with similar issues like this on this forum. 
I used to cry a lot, even as a young child, crying was my thing, but when I turned 15 things changed and I forced myself to stop crying, I chose to and I still do out of habit, even though I feel "happier". 
It's a shame because on the rare occasion when I do manage to cry it feels so good and like a different experience altogether.
I think your inability to cry maybe an indication that you no longer care for crying, that's how I felt, I couldn't be bothered with self-pity. 
But learning to care for yourself is the most important thing in this world, and I cannot stress further the importance of crying, so start by being kind to yourself, care for yourself and eventually you will cry again!! :cry


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## tehuti88

I've experienced this myself; Brasilia makes some good points. Sometimes it's almost like one can get "cried out"--the negative feelings are still there, but the means of expressing them just seem like too much effort or like it's not worth the trouble. I don't experience this often--I cry TOO much--but I know that it's an awful feeling, to have the emotions but be unable to express them. Crying might not get much done, practically speaking, but it CAN help vent strong emotions, like letting off steam. I do know that sometimes I feel a little better after crying.

Meds could definitely influence this. When I was on SSRIs I got rather apathetic and while I didn't exactly feel happy, whenever something that would normally upset me happened I just had this feeling of, "It's not worth getting upset about, so, meh." Not the same as what you're describing, but meds CAN dampen both moods and how we react to moods.

I'm sorry I haven't advice on how to overcome it.  I say keep finding ways to try to stimulate your emotions, good and bad. Maybe you're just "cried out" for now and need time.


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## Amphoteric

Crying is one of the questions in the Beck depression inventory. Basically the harder it is for you to cry, the more depressed you are.
Citalopram has kept me away from the crying path for a good while now, but every now and then I feel able to cry out my sorrow.


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## harrison

ElectricEnigma said:


> I find it hard to cry as well. I am guessing my medication may be partially to blame as it blunts me emotionally. And no, I am not going to judge you at all.  Feel free to message me if you would like, I will listen.


My first reaction when I saw this thread was to ask if the OP was on anti-depressants. It's very common to not be able to cry when you take them.


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## probably offline

The only thing anti-depressants ever did for me was make me endlessly tired, so I gave up on that. I stopped crying long before I started taking those so idk.


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## mesmerize

same thing here 
even if i manage to drop a tear its just that really...a tear. i cant continuously cry.


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## Disintegration

I have the same "problem".
I can't remember the last time I cried. Then again, I don't seem to remember too much.


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## Daniel C

Thanks for all your reactions. I guess medication may be one of the factors then, I'm on citalopram as well so that may be the culprit. I might want to consider if I really want to continue using them cause they don't really seem to work so far, but well. It's good to see there are others who feel similarly.


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## Bivsy

I can't cry at all. I haven't cried since my mom up and left about a half of a year ago. She just left me she didn't die she didnt say I need to leave, she just left. I had a strong relationship with her. I also didn't cry when I got in a car accident and burnt down a house. I use to cry when i was little but i had a lot of abuse and mental scaring from my parents and brother. I had abuse from step parents and all was hard on me as a child. I was in a spot recently hanging out with a friend of mine who knows my struggles and she brought up somethings that I have had troubles with for a long time but.... Nothing. I had no feelings. I have no feeling just anger sometimes. I want to cry i want to feel again. Please don't judge me, I need honest people with honest answers. I need to know if anyone has had the same problems


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## Awwilson91

I know this is an old post, likely unread by now, but I made an account with this site just to post this... I also cannot cry, with exception (that I remember) for a girlfriend that I had last year who, without so much as a 'have a nice life' left me for someone else and broke off all communication overnight. In that case, thanks to Stone Sour's Hesitate, I was able to cry for all of two minutes. I remember vividly at the age of five deciding that crying was a waste of my time and resources, primarily because the week before I'd gotten into some trouble and cried so much that I had to drink water to cry some more. So I decided that it was beneath me and as a man I should not cry.... Turns out I'm bipolar I, so about 5 months out of the year I regret that decision I'd made back when I had nothing more to cry over than 4 previous years of life's decisions. I've been on meds and off meds for anxiety and depression, about 50/50 over the past 8 years and I can say with certainty that meds will shut down your ability to cry, unless something so traumatic happens that it overcomes the medication (think of it more like armor, if something weak hits it, then it does nothing, however if you can get through it then you can still easily stab the fleshy bits underneath). I'm still uncertain whether I cannot cry now because I decided not to, or if I decided not to back then because of how taxing it was on me to cry... Most tragedies in my life now are met with uncontrollable laughter, even if I do feel remorse, sympathy, empathy or anything else you'd like to throw at it. I feel numbness at best, simply nothing, sorrow at worst, as if the wold is conspiring against me..... But no matter what I go through, I cannot know the joy of releasing it all with a good cry. So it builds to the brink of breaking and eventually it all builds up to the point where I just can't stand it anymore and I still can't scream (neighbors/residential), can't cry, have nothing to punch, nobody trustworthy to talk to, can't stand the routine of the days and feel like I can't make it through. 
Ok, so I released a bit more into this thread than previously discussed, and despite rereading this all several times I'm sure I've got many grammatical errors, but thanks for the time of reading, hope someone out there can relate to this.


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## nonethemore

Awwilson91 said:


> I know this is an old post, likely unread by now, but I made an account with this site just to post this... I also cannot cry, with exception (that I remember) for a girlfriend that I had last year who, without so much as a 'have a nice life' left me for someone else and broke off all communication overnight. In that case, thanks to Stone Sour's Hesitate, I was able to cry for all of two minutes. I remember vividly at the age of five deciding that crying was a waste of my time and resources, primarily because the week before I'd gotten into some trouble and cried so much that I had to drink water to cry some more. So I decided that it was beneath me and as a man I should not cry.... Turns out I'm bipolar I, so about 5 months out of the year I regret that decision I'd made back when I had nothing more to cry over than 4 previous years of life's decisions. I've been on meds and off meds for anxiety and depression, about 50/50 over the past 8 years and I can say with certainty that meds will shut down your ability to cry, unless something so traumatic happens that it overcomes the medication (think of it more like armor, if something weak hits it, then it does nothing, however if you can get through it then you can still easily stab the fleshy bits underneath). I'm still uncertain whether I cannot cry now because I decided not to, or if I decided not to back then because of how taxing it was on me to cry... Most tragedies in my life now are met with uncontrollable laughter, even if I do feel remorse, sympathy, empathy or anything else you'd like to throw at it. I feel numbness at best, simply nothing, sorrow at worst, as if the wold is conspiring against me..... But no matter what I go through, I cannot know the joy of releasing it all with a good cry. So it builds to the brink of breaking and eventually it all builds up to the point where I just can't stand it anymore and I still can't scream (neighbors/residential), can't cry, have nothing to punch, nobody trustworthy to talk to, can't stand the routine of the days and feel like I can't make it through.
> Ok, so I released a bit more into this thread than previously discussed, and despite rereading this all several times I'm sure I've got many grammatical errors, but thanks for the time of reading, hope someone out there can relate to this.


It both saddens and outrages me a little when I read entries like this. It reminds me of how emotionally repressive society is overall, perhaps more so towards males than females in this instance, because males are conventionally taught not to show excess emotion or sensitivity.

Personally I love crying, it is a great catharsis, and I can't imagine not being able to do so. In fact, I do feel numb when I'm unable to and disconnected from myself.

I think one of the major reasons people don't cry is because of society's general reaction to emotions, particularly intense emotions like suffering, anguish, anger and despair. The greater the pain, the greater the resistance in most cases. We are taught to resist and evade our emotions, rather than accept them.

If everyone were able to release and express however they feel, in a manner in which they are compassionate towards themselves, the world would be a much less violent and suppressive place.

Psychiatric drugs are a manifestation of this suppressive society. And it's amazing to hear one common side-effect is that they blunt one's ability to cry; this perfectly natural, healing thing -- blunted.


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## GreenFairy

Just throwing my two cents in to say that I also haven't cried in about 5 years, since I started taking antidepressants. I miss how cathartic it could be to just have a good cry.


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## Anon2090

I've always had trouble expressing my feelings towards my friends and family especially. If you know about psych. You'll know all about Expresses emotions (EE). And my family would be the poster family for EE. I'm 18 and I come from a migrant African and muslim household. My dad, it's very hard to talk to him. He use brute force with his words, it's his way or gtfo the house and be a prostitute. And then there's my mum, who's emotinally over baering, so I don't want to flood her w my problems. Then there are my siblings who would rather go on their iPhones than give me the time if day to "talk". My life has been filled with so many emotinal live events that it's just ridiculous. I have no one to vent to but the notes on my phone. Every so often my threshold is broken by a certain comment and I run to the toilet turn on the shower sit in tht corner and just cry. Lately, I can't cry anymore especially when my dad told me that I'm moving from England to Romania to study medicine for 6 years. I'm terrible at science and I wanted to presue a law degree so badly. According to my dad he's just looking out for me bc law isn't a stable job. He basically told me that if I don't go, I'm dead to him??? So In a months time I'm going to a place I never wanted to go. Everything is just building up and I haven't cried yet. It's annoying me bc honestly as sad as it sounds, crying is my only release. I play my own devils advocate sometimes when I'm crying to make me cry even more. I'm not diagnosed w anything btw. I don't even know what to do. I'm hopeless. I'm scared that there will be a repeat of last year, where I had fudged up thoughts and was thinking about suicide.


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## Rodrigo R

Amphoteric said:


> Crying is one of the questions in the Beck depression inventory. Basically the harder it is for you to cry, the more depressed you are.
> Citalopram has kept me away from the crying path for a good while now, but every now and then I feel able to cry out my sorrow.


This, the more depressed you are it becomes hard to cry, in my opnion this is very dangerous because it doesn't let you to overcome depression and you what can happen if somebody never overcomes depression
:frown2:


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## Mr A

Me neither. I probably haven't cried properly in a few YEARS now. I've become so emotionally detached and numb...


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## The Notorious D.B.L

I cried like a baby about 3 months ago, and that had been building up for a long time.

It was the worst I'd been in years.

I cried yesterday for about 30 seconds out of shear frustration, and felt like snapping my tablet in half, but neither crying or snapping my tablet in half does a thing. 

It's all pointless emotion.


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## Furiosa

I can relate to this, i can count on one hand the amount of times I've cried in the last decade or so, it takes a lot to upset me. I think I must have a heart of stone.

It's probably the medication, if you are on antidepressants they can be notorious for blunting your emotions. I'm currently on mirtazapine and I find just nothing bothers me anymore, I can't remember the last time I ever felt down or sad about anything.


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## bananaz

*Same*

I was looking for reasons why I can't cry anymore too. I'm just guessing that I have come to the point where I don't care enough about myself to cry about things that are hurting me. I cried for the first time in over 6 months last weekend when I was drunk and someone insulted me about something I hate about myself. It was horrible, it's like it opened a pandoras box to a world of self-hatred. After a while of not being able to let those emotions out through tears, they just build up and when the tears come out, so does all the reminders of why you are depressed... I don't want to cry anymore because I feel like it will make me feel worse... at the same time though, I feel less and less human the longer it stays inside of me. I just can't cry though. If you really want to cry, I advise alcohol. Just don't drink too much, you don't want to be a depressed alcoholic. Good luck, and I hope you can find a healthy outlet eventually.


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## pollutedessence

Bivsy said:


> I can't cry at all. I haven't cried since my mom up and left about a half of a year ago. She just left me she didn't die she didnt say I need to leave, she just left. I had a strong relationship with her. I also didn't cry when I got in a car accident and burnt down a house. I use to cry when i was little but i had a lot of abuse and mental scaring from my parents and brother. I had abuse from step parents and all was hard on me as a child. I was in a spot recently hanging out with a friend of mine who knows my struggles and she brought up somethings that I have had troubles with for a long time but.... Nothing. I had no feelings. I have no feeling just anger sometimes. I want to cry i want to feel again. Please don't judge me, I need honest people with honest answers. I need to know if anyone has had the same problems


Did you intentionally burn down a house?


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## springbreeze1

On my own I cry for many things. But I may have difficulty crying in public due to social inhibition.


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## Rickets

Only cried once in 10 years, when my dog died.

I can't cry anymore either, I've become too apathetic to everything.


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## yello33

I can relate. 

When I was 19, I left my then girlfriend in D.C. to fly back to the UK. I made an ABSOLUTE idiot of myself on the plane, cried like a baby all the way home. It was a night flight so I'm pretty sure many people were woken by the racket, but thankfully nothing bad happened on the outside. The cabin crew kept me topped up with wine the whole way (coincidentally this was the first time I ever really got drunk).

Inside I was dying, it was a feeling akin to grief. When the crying eventually stopped I was dead to the world for a year, and in that time I didn't shed a single tear. Today the proverbial well is still to be replenished.


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## TianaD

I have had this in the past. I had no emotion. It's terrible


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## dankMemesforsadTeens

Awwilson91 said:


> I feel numbness at best, simply nothing, sorrow at worst, as if the wold is conspiring against me....
> 
> I feel like I won't be able to really feel anything again, I feel like a living simulation;I look around but I can't really see, I'm tired of this I wanna cry again. The comments impressed me all of us have different problems some has traumatic family issues, some have depression or bipolar, some burns down houses...... but we all cannot cry..


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## myProblems

I have kind of the same problem. The difference is that I suffer a lot of anxiety and not so much depression, and that I have cried very little in my life. Not because I didn't need to, but because I always thought I was tougher than I really was, and always ate all the problems and kept them to my self, not letting them be alleviated by cry. Therefore my problems built in top of each other and I felt like my crying capabilities became blocked. Like I couldn't feel anything other than an impersonal suffering so big that crying wouldn't even help. I don't know. Right now I feel like crying would help me, but like you, I am just not able to do so.


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