# Finish the story..what happens next



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

Try to make it a one liner


There once was a young lady name Sara..............


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## pm5kbebop (Oct 22, 2005)

who lived in a treehouse within the dark ,enchanted, misty woods....


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## brownkeys (Sep 19, 2005)

While bathing in the river of blood and mud...


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## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

was attacked by a slimy mud creature named Bob...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

she tried fight back but her punches just went through him........


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

'cause this Bob is a sponge who wears square pants and square underwear too (and is rumored to be gay, but I'm not one to gossip about his "special friend," Patrick)...


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## Maseur Shado (Jun 7, 2005)

...but when Sara invoked the magical words, "Tinky Winky!", the horrid creature called Bob disappeared into a puff of yellow smoke.


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

Sara ran back to her tree house only to find something diffrent......


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## Chesca (Dec 15, 2005)

her bedroom had been replaced by a giant red and white mushroom ... with a little door ....


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## pm5kbebop (Oct 22, 2005)

she walks up to the twisted,wooden door...a sign that reads "No Vacancy" is flashing above the mushroom...the door man,a gnome,greets her with a hearty " 'ello "....


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

Sarah said frightenly why are you in my bedroom? The gnome magical dissaperared into sparkly dust.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Her skin turned blue and her clothing changed to a white dress. "What is this? Some kind of joke?," she cried.


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## FailureGene (Nov 12, 2005)

"No, this is a joke." the gnome said (Edit: as he sneakly re-appeared :um ). He smiled, and told the funniest joke ever told, anywhere. Ever. EVER In the history of jokes. (Edit: EVER) It went something like this:


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## pm5kbebop (Oct 22, 2005)

and with that Sara burst into laughter....as the wooden door to the mushroom slowly opened...releasing the warm light that was held imprisoned within the plant....


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

then out of nowhere appeared Papa smurf, saying Sarah your one of us now, you are a smurf.. and a smuf is u... and Sara said.....


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

"I can't believe this! Change me back! What did I do?"


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## StrangerHere (Jul 26, 2005)

Papa Smurf only grinned a dippy grin. She jumped as her cell phone rang.


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## Arcanine (Dec 13, 2005)

Papa smurf snatched her cell phone and threw it out the window while grinning wickedly. Sarah..


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## pm5kbebop (Oct 22, 2005)

quickly ran inside the mushroom,which was a lair for lawn knomes ...a room filled entirely with their wicken plan of world domination.."one lawn at a time"...she proceeded to run for the door on the other side of the room...when all of a sudden...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

the lady smurf Smurfette, jumps on Sarah , Smurfette was pregnant and didnt know who the babyfather was . . She smack Sarah and said .. leave my man alone Big Poppa belongs to me.......


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

pm5kbebop said:


> quickly ran inside the mushroom,which was a lair for lawn knomes ...a room filled entirely with their wicken plan of world domination.."one lawn at a time"...she proceeded to run for the door on the other side of the room...when all of a sudden...


lawn k=gnomes -> don't you mean *wicker* plan of world domination. (just thinking of lawn furniture) :lol



Jay_Dizzle_Gurl said:


> the lady smurf Smurfette, jumps on Sarah , Smurfette was pregnant and didnt know who the babyfather was . . She smack Sarah and said .. leave my man alone Big Poppa belongs to me.......


All right....a Jerry Springer moment!

Sarah pulls Smurfette's wig off to reveal it has been fake all along! Once Smurfette was on the ground, Sarah declares "you can have your man back." and storms out of the mushroom. :lol


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

All of a sudden, Sarah sprinted back into the mushroom, saying "The tax collectors are coming! The tax collectors are coming!" Making an unspoken tempoary truce, they boarded up their door, and armed for battle, where...


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Brainy Smurf sat reading trying to come up with a way to raise money. Just then, Sleazy Smurf came up out of the basement and....


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## Arcanine (Dec 13, 2005)

decided Brainy Smurf wasn't helping the situation. Furiously Sleazy Smurf grabbed a chair and ...


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Smacked brainy in the face. This provoked him into...


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Calculating a way to have Sleazy Smurf "taken care of" by calling in Ditzy and Brawny Smurf.


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

come to find out ditzy was a tube of candy pedds and brawny was paper towel. So Sarah got the paper towel and wrapped ditzty in it and said the magic words..... your not fully clean unless your zestfully clean! and ran out..............


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

into the trap set by...


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Gargamel and his stupid cat Osrael. "Let's see what little morsel we have picked up here".....


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

At that moment, he turned his head and had no time to react as a...


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

giant tree was about to fall on the antagonist. Osrael hissed at Sara who was still pinned. The tree helped release her and...


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Use her awesome powers of communicating with short beings to alert the Hobbits of the distubance. When she only got Frodo's answering machine, Sara...


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

left a message before leaving Smurf Village. She walked through the forest...


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

leaving a trail of breadcrumbs...


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

birds ate them, but led her to the...


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

old hag of a witch's cottage, who was a cannabal and...


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

a lunatic. The first thing she said to Sara was "


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Would you like fries with that?"...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

fries ? what are fries? The wicked witch said you are fries my dear, and bit her ear lobe off. and ketchup squirted out her ear, Sarah terrifidely fell to the ground passed out and when she a awakened a handsomely prince was rubbing her forehead and said.........


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

I'm mugging you, gimme all the loot you the got. Sarah screamed and hit him where men should never get hit, and then...


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## Anatomica (May 23, 2005)

he smacked her upside the head knocking her out once more, and he...


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Ran away with the Holy Grail concealed inside her pocket. Upon waking up dazed in a hospital ward with 7 little dwarfs around her, Sarah...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

Then Sara said PLease! Please! dont hurt me? Sleepy dwarf then said Oh Sarah dont be afraid, He climbed on her bed and fell asleep. Sara then got off the bed and began to run out of her room away from the dwarfs into the hallway until she tripped over a sick little girl in the hallway ...................


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

and said excuse me, even though she was afraid to catch the little girl's illness. She ran to the bathroom and washed her hands four times.


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

When the little girl approached her, asking "Why're you here?" but interrupting herself in the middle by sneezing onto Sarah's shirt...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

when the little girl sneezed, she sneezed flowers breautiful one's like roses, violets, daisy's and corsathemums. The little girl said i know why your here, i have 2 pills a red pill and a blue pill, you take the blue pill you awaken and if you take the red pill you will belong to the MATRIX!!!!!!! Sara then ..................


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

ate them both at the same time, causing a massive crash in the computer's mainframe...


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

sending her in to a parallel timeframe where things look doubled. Sara had to find a global positioning system fast, or she would develop disorientation. Luckily, there was one hanging on a tree.


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

She grabbed it, but the tree woke up, and in fury, kicked her in the rear straight down the rabbit hole, where she emerged as a blonde wearing a blue dress...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

computer's mainframe was nothing more than a mustard seed, and sara ate it and turned into a lap top...........


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

C:\windows\sara\help\recovery_steps.cpp

She entered the C++ file and tried to change her code so that her lapto pwould function correctly.


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

And promptly woke up, destroyed the computer, and donned a Neo-like outfit, stepped outside and...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

and then did this mean back kick so sharp that george bush felt it.......


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

in his nether regions, mercifully ending his chances of reproducing again...


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Sara dusted herself off and continued walking through forest. Upon reaching a road, she noticed a sign that was pointing in two different directions.  On it were....


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

paper or plastic, sara chose plastic and then.......


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## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

melted into a puddle of plastic goo...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

llolol


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

the goo tranformed into a helium ballon which flew to heaven and then she saw god and said.......


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## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

"WHY IS THERE SOCIAL ANXIETY IN THE WORLD???"


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

god replied because i have a plan for you and you will be one of the great ones and struck her back to earth and she woke up lying in the middle of the street where people were gathered around her until someone said .....................


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Dude! Where's my car?...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

Where's my car? i dont know where your freakin car is! sara snapped. Sara realized the guy who ask her that question was her high school crush from 5 years ago Stephon she then got on her feet and kissed him something she never could do with SA HE THEN REPLIED......................


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

"there's no place like home, there's no place like home" a million times over and suddenly he woke up in his bed after the tornado...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

and Stephon thought about Sara considering he was only in 11th grade and didnt know sara felt this way about him.... He wondered if sara had the same dreams he had, the next day he arrived at school and saw sara and said......


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

nothing, because he let her do the talking...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

and he shouldnt let her do the talking because sara could not exspress her feeling to a certain depts, so he just ask her sara do you have wierd dreams like i do? she looked at him and said yes Stephon, yes i do and they both...........


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## Saki (Nov 8, 2005)

went to class. Sara assumed that Stephon was trying to tell her that he's gay so she decided to treat him like a friend only. The next time she saw him...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

and told him about her crush on him and if he was gay she would leave him alone. GAY!!!! Stephon shouted im not gay, Sara said , oh. So then sara said i keep having these creepy dreams since the tornado ,so have i said stephon and they both decided to meet after school to the see old man laver the guy who knew about everything until................


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

The piano fell on her car...


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## Saki (Nov 8, 2005)

and Sara just so happened to be in the car at the time and was instantly killed. Stephon decided to forget about Sara so he went to a bar and...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

And there he saw Sara as the bartender, Stephon couldnt believe his eyes.. he looked in a mirror next to the bar, and it was himself 40 years older he shouted..............


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## Saki (Nov 8, 2005)

"MARRY ME!" So they got married and had two kids, a daughter named Sora and a son named Dart. Twenty years later, Dart was clipping his toenails and suddenly...


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## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

...the entire universe collapsed in on itself into a point of infinitely dense matter.


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

When it popped back out again, cows were now the sentient species on Earth...


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## JohnnyEnnui (Jul 10, 2005)

and they frequented bars where human's milk was served ice cold on tap...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

then all of a sudden it started to rain and sara woke up and was frightened from her vicous cycles of dreams she was having..... She just could not take it anymore so she went to the bathroom went into the cabinet and reached for.............


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## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

...the Magical Mystery Medication which could rectify the imbalances in her psyche...


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

by swapping her mind with a rabid muskrat and back again.


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## Arcanine (Dec 13, 2005)

"Ouch!" Sara pulled out her hand from the cabinet and saw greenish liquid covering her fingers when she heard strange noises..


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

coming from the kitchen sink. It turns out the pig in the disposal had indigestion, so...


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## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

...she replaced it with a new pig, then sat down to ponder whether determinism and free will are compatible or not...


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## Saki (Nov 8, 2005)

she began to draw with the greenish liquid while contemplating...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

The grinch and the grinch jumped out of her green gooish painting.....


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## FailureGene (Nov 12, 2005)

AND HE SAID!!!

"Plaaaay the best song in the world, or I'll eat your souls. (souls...)"


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

with a spork of steel!


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## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

So she took the next flight to Timbuktu and met up with the spy with the plans for the Death Ray...


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

that would reverse the greenish liquid that was plaguing. Upon seeing the plans, she knew they looked familiar. She had seen them as blueprints for


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

building the ultimate machine to suck the smurfs up and turn them into...


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

furniture gnomes. The little blue ghastly beasts, most with no shirts on, would be "transformed" into these statues that are "more than meets the eye." These gnomes will be able to change into...


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

forms of water by using their rings and by shouting "wonder gnome powers ACTIVATE!"...


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## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

...thus calling into question the supposed sanity of the universe. However, the final showdown between good and evil was about to begin...


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

when the Teletubbies invaded Captain Hook's ship and demanded he turn over to the dark side.


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## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

Meanwhile, Jake and Eddie were playing in their room, when Kelly walked in and said


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

"welcome to the jungle, we got fun and games"


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Sara was hiding behind the door waiting to scare Jake and Eddie. The first thing that she said was


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

"I'll give you three guesses, and the first 2 don't count as to...


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

"Beware ye mortals! Tremble in fear! For the time has come for the return of the Onion Knights! Go now and spread this sacred revelation!"


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

However, her pleas fell on deaf ears, as they were all listening to Ipods anyways


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

The very same Ipods which all contained a hidden hynotic message of...


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Evan Eht Nioj, which Sara countered by


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## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

...reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in French while balancing an upside-down bottle of ketchup on her nose...


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

while juggling 20 bananas, a clam, and 3 old newspapers, all while doing her math hw...


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

and breaking up with her long lost boyfriend who just happened to be...


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## Ktgurl (Dec 6, 2005)

the convicted killer from the far away land called....


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Neverland, where Michael Jackson clones run free...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

and all of micheal jackson clones have fake noses and pale clay skin and they just tickle themselves giggling and waiting until another kid just like mccaully calkin shows up until ...............


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

an undercover organization known as Fathers Against Rude Television (FART) stormed in, straitjacketed him, and sent him to...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

the closet where sarah was, until someone tapped one of the f.a.r.t on the shoulders it was micheal clone and then 1,200 micheal clones showed up and.............


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## Ktgurl (Dec 6, 2005)

scared everyone to death which resulted in....


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

a sudden mass of Michael Jackson scarred and frightened souls overwhelming heaven which caused God to...


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## efren perez (Oct 19, 2005)

come down to earth to restore the peace by exterminating the clones and turning back time on the original Jackson, which caused him to regain his factions (nose, skin color, etc...). Then


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

he was able lead a normal life not involving weird interests in children and his amazing story served as an inspiration to Ted the chainsmoker who...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

who gave up cigarettes to eat apples, he luved apples so much that he was eating 90,000 apples a day until he turned into a apple and then gave himself to an elementry teacher until one of the pupils..................


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

took a bite out of him which caused the Great Blue Mushroom God to become deeply offended, so he...


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## Anatomica (May 23, 2005)

committed self elimination, and was reborn as a goat...


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

and begun a cult for others to worship the mysterious force of gravity, so in time it's members went out and...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

sacrificed them to jesus who said i am a homeboy and a homboy is I. He ordered every man to wear jesus is the homeboy t-shirt 4 men and mary is my homegirl for girls until...........


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

his mom found about what he was doing. She was angry and decided to disipline him by...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

by sending him in the wilderness for 40 days and 40 days nights and he changedhis name to grover when all of a sudden............


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## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

...all of his flesh melted off and he became a skeleton, thereby going to the nearby nursing home and...


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## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

eating the brains of the helpless staff and residents. When Nurse Vicky heard the raucous, she stepped out of her clothes and into the closet, where she...


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

was promptly choked by Jack Nicholson...


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

who then promptly stepped out of the closet and gingerly put on Nurse Vicky's clothes since she no longer needed them and set out to...


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

raid a bus filled with mental ward patients and take them to a strip club where...


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

they heroically joined forces with the strippers to battle the nefarious Golgathen **** Demon who was sent by...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

the gutarist from system of a down who........


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

was secretly fighting against a deep desire for owning all the hairless poodles of the world. This desire began with...


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

a visit from David Letterman, whose gap tooth traumatized him and made him vow to...


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

find Sara, no matter what the cost. Was she stripping with the mental ward patients, peddling Skippy peanut butter on side-streets, or trying her hand at knitting a beautiful poncho (like the one Martha Stewart got from prison)?


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

David Letterman found Sarah under his bed suprisley, because she was still having dreams but she desired to go back to her forest until David shouted....................


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

the magic words of "Uppazza, upazza, mesiandio verl!" which broke the spell on the magical gateway to...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

HELL!!!!!!!!!!!! and then...........


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

Hitler escaped hell, but somehow he forgot who was he was so the first person he sought out...


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

was Howard Hughes, whom he hoped would aid him in discovering the cure for the uncommon cold, however...


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## Ktgurl (Dec 6, 2005)

howard hughes refused to help him and instead....


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

he found hugh heffner, he took one of hugh's girl's and exsprimented on her day and night until..........


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

the FBI intervened. However, Hugh cut a deal with them to supply the FBI with a lifetime subscription to Playboy if they would...


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

only, just only, catch that clown with the machine gun accordian who ruined his tomato garden and interupted his "private" time. So they...


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

shoke hands, but the FBI double-crossed him, and whacked him with...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

a juicy fruit 2 edged sword which turned him into........


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## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

A golden fetus, to be cared for in the eternal bosom of...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

of audry 2 of little shop of horror, the big plant then.........


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

got dressed and went to work, calling to it's wife to take junior to the baseball game. He used this opportunity to...


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## FailureGene (Nov 12, 2005)

Establish a major world religion based on the principle of...


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Fonz-ism, which revolved around


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

that all matter comes from dirt, therefore everyone and everything is just dirt and should be treated as such. The faith quickly spread across the world and...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

and people start growing branches and leaves and they turned into thier favorite fruit like, polmagrams, and cherries and georgia peaches and then............


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

the aliens attacked!


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## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

The aliens came from the planet Xixixgolth, where there are six sexes, all required for the reproduction of the species.


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## FailureGene (Nov 12, 2005)

As you can imagine, it was a busy night. The next morning, in a cottage not far from the scene of the "attack"...


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## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

...a strange alien/human hybrid was born who was to unite the world under a banner of peace, love and Sharpie permanent markers...


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

the only marker authorized by the "Mark" clan for the strict useage of drawing stupid things on drunk people's faces.


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

When s/he/it realized what was on his face, s/he/it promptly went berserk and went on a killing spree, wiping out every ant hill he/she/it could find...


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

until the supreme leader of the imperial ant homeworld, Zxcylxy, declared war on the makers of Sharpies. Ant space battle cruisers then arrived at earth and...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

And drew a mustache on everyone he saw on earth and considering he had 8 billion arms it only took him about 4 minutes to draw for everyone on earth. then..............


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

everyone quickly lost any sense of who was female and male since they all had mustaches which led to...


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## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

...an oddly sexless society in which people distinguished each other by whether their belly button's an innie or outie...


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

which led to the complete breakdown of social norms since it was unlawful to wear anything covering the mid-riff.


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

The ensuing revolution as a response to the backlash of the midriff laws left...


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Zycylxy in a fashion disaster waiting to happen. Upon gathering his cabinet, they devised a new clothing line for Spring 2006 that featured


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

shirtless shirts and pantless hats...


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

with bright, updated, unique colors for tha ant on the go. It was a way for the anst to make peace


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

between the warring Hippos and Rhinoceruses of the East Serengeti plain...


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

who have been battling since the last rainstorm for precious


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

diamonds harvested by Jane Goodall's monkeys


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## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

some of which were hidden in the booby-trapped Tomb of Mjklog...


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

which Indiana Jones met his untimely doom in by choosing the blue wire.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

in front of that big ball filled with more diamonds! :banana


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

The explorer who found Jones' corpse, Minnesota Johnson, then


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

decided to question the feds about the current location of the Ark...


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

but was stopped when banana-toting gorillas in high heels stormed in...


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

followed by their leader, the evil clone of Sarah, known as Harrah...


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

's Entertainment, who by this time monopolized their grip on the Casino Industry by invading the mines and


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

mind of Bill Gates. With their newfound power they...


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

brought the whole entire country of china , and instead of products sayng made in china it said made by bill gates and harrah entertanment thats when......................


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

JAPAN DECLARED WAR! An army of wannabe ninjas and toy mecha piloted by otaku invaded China and...


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

said "Domo Arigoto! Mr. Roboto, TEAR DOWN THAT WALL! Tear it DOWN!"


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

Surrounded by angry otaku and her wall coming down, Harrah prayed to Chuck Norris for assitance...


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

And he said "Not now, I'm going to flex my muscles on tv while my stuntman does all the work, lest I pull a pinky while bending to tie my shoe."


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

Angry that her prayers went unfilled, she turned to the next best thing...


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

disco night at the bar. Yes, she was that desperate.


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## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

where she learned how to do the funky chicken and the wave, until she saw sara............


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

and turned into a giant chicken handing out expired coupons to the Peter Griffins of the world


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

until the real Peter Griffen showed up and starting attacking the chicken with a...


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## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

pair of MC Hammer pants, combined with U Can't Touch This and a breakdancing midgit...


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

named Margurite, who was well known for once...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

for his (yes, HIS) inspired perfomances and imitations of John Madden and...


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

inspiring a vastly succussful videogame series about...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

the advocacy of such controversial topics as sex and...


----------



## Vincenzo (Sep 24, 2005)

...Finnish people who happan to drop by...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

and watch the grass grow


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

but the grass grew so high that it took over the world and then there was a war against man vs grass.


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

Grass won.


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

and people de-evolved into nomadic hunting tribes that scoured the tall grass for...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Elvis and Tupac, looking for ANY signs of their appearances


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

Once they finally determined that they couldn't see 3 feet in front of them because of the grass, they gave up the search for Elvis and Tupac and returned to...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

the protesting of the new president, Mr. Jingles


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

Mr. Jingles was a jolly fellow who liked to wear bells because of...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

the paranoia he had about the ant empire. In case he was ever attacked, the bells...


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

would always let his personal guardians know where he was. They were all highly trained...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

in martial arts...no wait, make that arts and crafts.


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

and when ever they ere attacked they drew picture of machine guns and big 2 edged swords and the pictures would jump out the paper and ATTACK!!!!! until one day..............


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

someone yelled "Santa Claus is coming to town, Santa Claus is coming to town, Santa Claus is coming to TO-own!"


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Sara was making her list
Checking it thrice
not realizin'
OCD ain't so nice...


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

so she rewrote the letter 136 times before she could give it to Santa Claus until.............


----------



## FailureGene (Nov 12, 2005)

Santa got so fed up of waiting he rocketed thunderously out of her chimney and suggested...


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

she wake up from this insane dream, but before that to be sure to make some french toast and...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

vegetarian meatballs, because she didn't want to be as fat as Santa...


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

who was now getting away with the loot from...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Graceland...


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

where the ant emperor has made his headquarters. Utilizing the grass to his advantage, his forces...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

stormed into Marrakesh using only barbed wire, wire cutters, and a very quiet goat


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

There they discovered the secret of Nibufu, the Great Prophet of Cosmetics which was...


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

just a really old tube of lipstick, with hairs and dusk and anything you could imagine that would be on old tubes a lipstick when it doesnt have a top then.............


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

"The Man" appears suddenly and thrawts the ants with his skills of mystery. He takes the old lipstick and...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

smashes it in Ms. Jackson's petunia branch


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

adding a splash of color to her spring blossoms. "Take that, you petunia! Maybelline says Hello!". Ms. Jackson runs out swinging her purse like a helicopter propeller screaming "What did you do to my petunia branch? Who do you think you are?" At that point, he exclaimed "I am the Almighty Sultan Nibufu of Marrakech, Morocco!"


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

"I am the cousin of Lawrence of Arabia's cousin, the Duke of York, who had 10,000 men, he used to march them up the hill, and march them down again."


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

all of a sudden they were in the middle east somewhere in Egypt in 1914 where the professor was trying to figure out the fifth element alls you heard was a shout that said Aziz Light!!!!!!! and then...........


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

someone yelled "FREE BEER!!!!!!" Immediatly, the people ran, leaving only the spy and his scantily clad contact waiting.


----------



## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

...so they sat down on the edge of the world and debated what was a better name for a band, "Super Heavy Goat ***" or "Bongzilla"...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

until they finally compromised on "Space Monkeys from Hell" as an homage to the fine feathered folks at...


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

kentucky fried chicken famously known as KFC and thenn........


----------



## FailureGene (Nov 12, 2005)

not a lot happened and continued to happen for about fifteen seconds, mainly because...


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

they took off on a racous around the world adventure involving the collection of DNA samples from famous musicians...


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

like....rolling stones, bethovan,lenny kravitz, 50 cents, keyshia Cole, Micheal Jackson, Britnay spears, Gwen Stephanie and System of a Down. Thats when when................Bam!.....


----------



## FailureGene (Nov 12, 2005)

they realised that they forgot to pick up anyone with any tallent, so they went back and grabbed...


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

a bag a potato chips and a dancing mokey when then..........


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

the aliens attacked!!!!!!


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

These aliens were different from those before. However no one knew what they looked like since every time someone tried to look at them they got mustard in their eyes...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

from the hot dog guns they were shooting at the Yankees game in an attempt to gain one side of the rivalry with the Red Sox...


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

until the red sox turned into the blue sox and they dominated earth and everyone was ordered to wear blue sox for.........the.....rest.......of...there.......lives............HAHAHA!!! THATS WHEN.....


----------



## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

...it officially became illegal to write long stream-of-consciousness stories with no coherent plot...


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

until Sara yelled I am the plot you guys deserted me, remember the smurfs, remember the dreams, remember Stephon , fine Stephon oh how i miss Stephon, she yelled guys bring me back please until...............


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

"That Man" again appeared and stuffed Sara in a decorative oak chest and shipped it to...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Nome, Alaska. On the way, however, she got mistakingly sent to Abu Dhabi, where


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

she was mistaken for an indian princess name Anupama and then they took sarah away thats when............


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

(Kent Brockman-style) The elephant who couldn't stop laughing was put to death.


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

When that happened, millions of children across the world were filled with ambivilence at the loss...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

but got over it when they were given candy to shut up.


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

Some time then passed...
Everyone took a quick nap until...


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

they slobberedall over there pillows and everyone was awimming in a pool of drool, thats when.......


----------



## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

...the pillows came to life and starting singing a rousing chorus of...


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

"Grandma got run over by a reindeer" which led to the outlawing of strange people driving reindeer sleds...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

and the "accidental" death of Bill Gates


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

To replace Bill Gates, the secret organization that was using him decided to use their back-up genius who was...


----------



## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

...Shigeru Miyamoto, creator of Donkey Kong...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

and Clark Kent, journalist, as his corporate muscle


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

man to fly to change into Superman, floy over to Abu Dhabi to rescue Sara the Indian princess from the evil Pico El-Aceite, secret leader of the OPEC henchmen.


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

However, when the quiet goat he had in his repretoire blew their cover by eating a tin can...


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

....one of the henchmen saw who he'd be dealing with, and got Sara out of the oil harem captivity for him!


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

Interupting the exciting developments, Tom Cruise appears and offers a quick informative speech on how scientology has helped his life when...


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

Brooke Shields came out of know where with warrior gare on screaming .... Give Us Freedom!!!! thats when...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

The fat man attacked!


----------



## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

And the fat lady sang


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

her rendition of an annoying boy band song called


----------



## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

N Sync


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

's oldest dance hit: Old Man River


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

, Cry Me a River, Moon River, and left Her By the River. The recurring water theme made Tom Cruise, Brooke Shields, Sara, and even the evil king of Abu Dhabi have to go to the bathroom. Tragedy struck when they found there was only one bathroom. Sara and Brooke flipped a coin and.....


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

it landed on it's side, so...


----------



## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

...they decided to have a good old-fashioned knife fight...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

using Wolfgang Puck versus Emeril Legace brands


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

however the moment one of them nicked the other they all screamed like little girls and ran away to the doctor who was...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Dr. No


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Sara and Brooke took Tom Cruise and left him on the table, while the Abu Dhabi Dude tried to escape. Dr. No's arms got really long and pulled him back alongside Tom Cruise. "You're mine" he said. Sara and Brooke watched in horror as Dr. No put helmets on Tom and Abu Dhabi.


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

Tom screams, again. Dr. No then takes an old 8mm video camera and some paint cans out of a closet, and instructs the women to disrobe in front of the white wall...


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

and when they disrobbed they had cardboard bodies with broken flaps thats when......


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

the butterfly with bullet wings swooped in and...


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

grabbed the paint brushes and paint the word "dunce" on the helmets. Sara and Brooke (the cardboard queens) put their clothes back on and ran from the scene. Abu Dhabi and Tom sat in shock that the butterfly could do such a thing to them. Dr nod was then painted different colors from head to toe and he spontaneously combusted due to the paint fumes. 

Tom and Abu took off their helmets and ran, but Sara and Brooke were too far gone.


----------



## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

The next chapter in this fascinating foray into the human unconscious involved Sara boarding a plane for Istanbul, on board which she met a strange man with a peg leg...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Who really liked this woman with a wooden eye.


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Sara said "But, I don't have a wooden eye." The man said "Would you like one?" Sara said "No!" and moved to another seat. That person turned out to be none other than.....


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Gene Shalit, who was having a minor argument with Jay Leno and Jon Stewart over the state of public education in the school system. This argument climaxed when Leno...


----------



## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

...smashed Gene Shalit into the ground using the patented "chin smash" move...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

And caused Jon Stewart to broadcast it live on TDS...


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

with Steven Colbert reporting on the importance of marshmallows in combat. Sara couldn't believe that she was going to be on TV to tell of her story.


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

But she had to believe it, since as soon as she said that she noticed herself on public TV. "Wait a minute! That's not me!" she wondered aloud. However Bill O'Reilly butted in with a report confirming that it was indeed her and that it was a unarguable fact.


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Sara would then sue O'Reilly for emotional damages, hiring Johnnie Cochran as her attorney.


----------



## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

However, she couldn't pay Cochrane's $2 million fee, so she had to find a way to raise money...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

Several nights later, standing on the corner, Sara met a young, traveling troothbrush salesman named Bob...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

the Builder, who was recently unemployed from Nick Jr. after the labor strike...


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

He offered to build a toothbrush capable of brushing anybody's teeth from anywhere in the world. However it would come at a price...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

quit, wondering, "hey, if he's so great at building, why does it take a fortune to build his devices?"


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

because the trick is that the furtune does not build the devices kid he then said the devices build the furtune hahahahaha thats when a huge splat noise came from the......


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Slime tank above them...


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

and below them - can't miss!


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

Then it was time for a commercial, but I woke up...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

and said, "Oh no! THE DUST BUNNIES ARE ATTACKING!"...


----------



## Ktgurl (Dec 6, 2005)

the evil dust bunnies climbed on the....


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

stove, and proceeded to cook themselves.


----------



## ~*~Shine~*~ (Jan 31, 2006)

...became very sick and had to go to the hospital, where they met...


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

Dr. Kevorkian who made them an offer so they could die peacefully. However his actions were halted by the renegade...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

sleuth Ace "Dimes" Mahoney, who questioned their whereabouts on the night of January 31st.


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Sara and Bob couldn't come up with an answer. They offered Dr. Kevorkian a lovely dust bunny pastry pocket for his time and trouble. Det. Mahoney wanted one, too.


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

So he scrapped his nickname in favor of Dr. Duerf Nietsnie, and proceeded with Operation Dessert Desert...


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

He offered Sara a Sand Dune brand Sugar cookie, one that sent her spiraling into a temporary parallel universe where everybody told the truth.


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

However, since Dr. Nietsnie moonlighted as a lawyer, sending them to a dimension where everyone told the truth was in reality telling them a lie, as all lawyers do, so they ended up on a Earth just like we live in, except...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

it was inhabited only by mermaids and cave women.


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Facing this dramatic shift, Sara soon realized her mission here was to leap from person to person, to help the merpeople conform with their everyday problems in a remake of a late 80's sitcom.


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Scott Bakula became a one episode love interest until he turned blue and vanished leaving her in 1989. Little did she know that she had that little Lego teleport thingy that could...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

create a Time Machine out of a Delorean, a piece of string, and a very quiet goat, MacGyver style...


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

but the goat quickly started screaming milki me!! me milk me!!! and then milk and cheese squirted out of the goats tits, and thats when .......


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

LIVE LONG AND PROSPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

scanned the goats body in red letters,like the ones you see in time square and then the broad way show chitty chitty bang bang came out the goats ear and they sung really neat songs and then Mary poppins showed up and everyone knew it was going to be trouble , mary hit the.........


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

back of herself. Just as she did so, she instantly gave birth to a clown baby of exquisite porcelain, to be presented to its father who...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

was temporarily assigned to Antarctica as part of a special task force to explore the habits of the penguin.


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

But when he got there he was promptly eaten by an ice-burrowing mole the size of Rhode Island.


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

The mole, however, led him down a mole hole a la Alice in Wonderland, except for the cheese-eating surrender monkeys...


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

who laughed at the thought of Sara milking a goat!
They proceeded to use their tails to loop through the air as they grabbed cheese growing on trees by the Cheshire cat exhibit. They nibbled on the Gouda until....


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

The Dairy King, inferior to the Dairy Queen, attacked the city of Brie in the first battle of the butter battle book.


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

The second battle however was never finished and continues to rage on to this day inside a sealed refridgerator.


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

where the buffalo roam, and the deer and the cantaloupe play.


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

They play patty-cake quite a lot which causes much jealously in...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

the lone, roaming buffalo, who...


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

decide to build a machine that can travel to the center of the Earth so they can find the...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

secret to becomming a successful former baseball umpire who opens a bar...AT THE CENTER OF THE EARTH!


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

Meanwhile, Jake and Edward were busy in their garage laying out plans for their garbage-for-food program...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

which involved major contributions from viewers like you.


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

After the public service announcement finally ended the story took a sudden, dramatic, and shocking change...


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

all of the worlds children became play doe and suprisley the parents were not mad thats when.....


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

the government collected all of the children and molded them into a giant playdough mountain, which...


----------



## vaness (Sep 22, 2005)

made jake and edward very angry, so they


----------



## Argo (May 1, 2005)

ran up and down the driveway weeping with rage, when suddenly


----------



## anxiouslittleme (Feb 17, 2006)

a van came speeding up the driveway, knocking into edward and killing him instantly. jake swore revenge on the government, saying...


----------



## Flu102 (Jul 11, 2005)

"Darn you government! Darn you!" Just then the van turned around and sped toward Jake,


----------



## Argo (May 1, 2005)

who ran but stumbled over a squirrel, and sprawled into the street, as the van


----------



## Flu102 (Jul 11, 2005)

broke down and three attractive foreigners stepped out of the van, Jake stood and...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

saluted the foreigners, whose names were Trixy, Toby and Hildegarde. The women were not wearing any clothes, so...


----------



## Flu102 (Jul 11, 2005)

He was a polite young man and gave them his.


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

But they didn't know how to put them on, so they didn't. Jake saluted them again, but not with this hand. It started to rain, so...


----------



## KireiYume (Feb 13, 2006)

They brought out the slip-and-slide and laid it out in the middle of the street, taking turns sliding on it.


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

At first they took turns sliding down it, but that got boring so they...


----------



## Argo (May 1, 2005)

took Jake's advice and stood around in a circle, as he told them to close their eyes, while he


----------



## suppressed (Apr 19, 2005)

went around the circle patting them on the head saying " duck ....duck....duck.... and then all of a sudden he got to the end of the circle and....


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

exploded. The girls were expecting this and had plastic garbage bags ready to...


----------



## Argo (May 1, 2005)

collect the pieces. Then one of them had an idea and held out a mangled arm to Hildegarde, telling her to


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

shake her hand in a wicked act of jest. Hildegarde then grabbed the arm away from Toby and said...


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

tinky winky........dipsy.........lala...........poe thats when...........


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Michael rowed the boat ashore, Hallelujah...


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Sarah, hidden by the TeleTubbies, had been forcefed TubbyCustard by the vacuum cleaner sent down from the baby in the sun. When Michael tried to rescue her, the TeleTubbies Televisions activated and showed an episode of the Jerry Springer show. The show was about


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

the liberation of the Anarchists from the esteemed Fortress of Solitude...


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

with two anarchists fighting over one man. When Steve Wilkos took action, the two were arrested leaving the man to wonder where his next meal would come from. Sara yelled at the TeleTubbies to change the channel, but they just giggled. The speaker periscope popped up and the lady exclaimed "Time for TeleTubby cancellation....Time for TeleTubby cancellation" Not two seconds later some people started running over the fake grassy hill, it was the Anarchists. Their plan was to....


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

lie naked with Sara, that they might conceive a "Golden Child" to bring rule and order to their world of anarchy. And they did. And Sara bore a son, and he was named Bob...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

who was later featured in a commercial for a drug for erectile dysfunction which makes him smile WAAAAAY too much...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

until his smiler stopped smiling and he started crying because...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

he got hit in the jewels by a boxing glove-wearing monkey in tights


----------



## Argo (May 1, 2005)

but fortunately the diamond-studded necklace which the monkey punched saved Bob from any injury. While the monkey was reeling in anguish holding his smashed paw, Bob .....


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

Bob decided to create a cartoon called bobby's world it was a smash hit! Thats when the viewers..........


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

grew up to be insane. The show was cancelled, and Bob...


----------



## suppressed (Apr 19, 2005)

decided to do infomertials in the AM hours selling ...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

human booster shots from a guy named Molly, guaranteed to...


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

rid the world of erectally dysfunctional 8008s named Bob. Sara manned the phones!


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

However, the robots already invaded the telephone lines, prompting a weird man named W wearing a mask to rescue her from armed thugs and recruit her to...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

a stratified position in the Society of People Against Society...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

...at which the irony of their organization entirely escaped them. After she exposed them to this conundrum, they reacted hysterically and...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

the universe collapsed into an "embryonic singularity"...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

... named Janet ...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

Weiss, whose apple pie didn't taste too nice...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

and in her bowl, she comes bearing rice


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

with little signs that said hateful society. Sara spoke out against the SPAS and told them they're all "haterz". The telethon ended with a grand total of $23.64. It was that amount that Sara gave to Janet, finally shutting her up. Sara then walked a few blocks to where...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

the Fathers Against Rude Television (FART) were protesting the recent inclusion of The Brady Bunch on PBS, citing "personality differences" and "radical eco-terroristic values" preached on the show...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

Then a stale voice could be heard over loudspeaker saying, "It is now time for beach blanket bingo. I repeat, it is now time for beach blanket bingo."


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Immediatly afterwards, two men in gorilla costumes stormed out, armed with loaded Bananas, and emptied everyone's pockets before fleeing the scene with George of the Jungle serving as the getaway driver...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

Unfortunately for them, forensics turned up a print from a single fruit cell and were able to match it with the precise stem, peel, and banana used to carry out the crime...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

But all of the cops who went in for the arrest mysteriosuly disappeared, at precisely the same time that...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

Disco Donuts opened shop in the middle of the city, where a young, timid donut boy named Kevin...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

crossed the 4th wall and entered your living room...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

where he took off his clothes, got down on all fours and defecated on my carpet. I then hit him on the head with a newspaper..


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

he took the news paper turned it to the sports section and jumped into a football game thats when....


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

Circus clowns hijacked the Goodyear blimp and...


----------



## christiem (Mar 1, 2006)

...flew it across the country. Suddenly they had serious engine trouble forcing them to...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

stick their arms out the window and flap...


----------



## christiem (Mar 1, 2006)

but try as they may, thier arms grew tired and...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

the blimp crash landed in the middle of a swamp, which was actually a refuge for wild crocodile.


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

The crocodiles were gifted with enormous inteligence, as they were debating the philosophy of war and moderation in the human race...


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

thats when the crocadiles wanted to be aligator because they always wanted to say " after while crocadile. but got stuck with seya later aligator thats when.......


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

The story ended...or DID it?


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

It would have, were it not for a shoe salesman named Bob, who emerged from the swamp waters with a machine gun in hand, ready to chew bubble gum and kick ***..


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

until the cows came home, and then he would party with the cows...


----------



## christiem (Mar 1, 2006)

and evaluate their leather hides for a new type of shoe he was designing...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

called the "Deiter" design...


----------



## christiem (Mar 1, 2006)

so he hired the clowns and the crocodiles-turned -alligators to create his design in sweatshop like conditions while being paid in...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

exotic varieties of cheap, bottled wine from India...


----------



## christiem (Mar 1, 2006)

he became completely infatuated with, so they went...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

and drank a lot of it one day, and everybody got really drunk...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

when they woke up to a monkey and a giraffe inside of their house grazing on the leftovers in the fridge, they weren't surprised...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

that they were dead, because dead people don't get surprised. Monkey and Giraffe took note of this and...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

stole their CD's and the treasured Golden iPod...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

and sold them on eBay for a hefty profit. They used the money they made to...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

buy out Google and eBay in a shrewd negotiating move involving barbed wire, some wire cutters...and a very quiet goat.


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

Their plan was to build a barbed wire fence around Google headquarters. Then, with the wirecutters, they would breach the fence and sneak in to steal the "secret files". If anything were to go wrong, Josephine, the quiet goat, was instructed to signal them by yelling "Hey!".

They later consorted with each other, nauseated and blood-drenched, holed up in a Seven-Eleven bathroom stall, and agreed that, when searching for a "signal-man", the enlisting of a 'very quiet goat' was a bad choice...

(whew) :fall


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

when Bill Gates and his crack team stole the goat and forced her to talk by tickling her with a feather...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

in all the wrong places, causing it to explode.


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

They then stole the sheep's brain and implanted it into a robot chicken...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

that ended up having some serious mental problems, which caused it to...


----------



## christiem (Mar 1, 2006)

run around as if its head was cut off. This worried them all because...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

the roaches were about to attack, and they needed a strong chicken defense to head the anti-roach defensive entitled Operation Sanders...


----------



## christiem (Mar 1, 2006)

but what they didn't realize was that this particular operation was as dead as the Colonel himself. So instead they...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

exhumed the colonol to be put on display in the annual parade...


----------



## catcave (Mar 30, 2006)

.......held in honor of all former colonels under 5 feet tall that....


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

included Napoleon Bonaparte, the union leader of the Lollypop Guild, and the Jolly Green Giant (the comittee had a sense of ironic humor). Angry at the Giant's inclusion, the other 3...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

called the union, which resulted in a series of lawsuits and a public boycott of parades...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

for the grand Duke of York, who had 10,000 men...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

that were all afflicted by VD after spending a night with the Duke's wife...


----------



## christiem (Mar 1, 2006)

the duke decided to have them all beheaded. but while standing line at the guillotine


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Marie Antoinette appeared, and yelled to the masses "I HAVE CAKE FOR ALL!!! DON'T KILL ME!!!!!!!!"...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

The cake was immediately beheaded. The duke hates vanilla...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

but likes Tabasco pepper sauce, so he ordered two hundred tacos with pepper sauce and a 2 liter bottle of undenatured ethanol.


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

He would use the ethanol as a substiture for cologne, and the tacos, appetizers for his dinner, where he proposed to marry into the royal family, where he was promptly...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

executed for even considering the prospect of tainting the royal bloodline with his vagrant, alcoholic, Tabasco loving seed.


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

The king, however, yearned for an heir, so he adopted a pig by the name of...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

Isaac, who was the son of Abraham...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

...who was son of all things that glitter or are flamboyant. With the exception of "sparklers" due to

_Harold Ferbissi v. his Own Hand_

at which the Supreme Court ruled that...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Licking doorknobs is not illegal, as long as it is done within your own premesis...


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

and pigs within those premises don't consumer tacos. The king looked for his fair Sara, but she's been missing for pages now. Upon not finding her, he continued in his quest to obtain the Almighty Taco of the East by proclaiming to his people - "I MUST HAVE TACO!" His pig said "get a grip, fatso!" and then walked off to look for some corn.

A fair maiden named Tatiana came up and offered to make a giant taco for the king. "But it will cost you..." she said. The king said "How much?", to which Tatiana replied...


----------



## catcave (Mar 30, 2006)

.....by knocking the kings crown off his head and yelling as loud as she could.....


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

"I LIKE STICKY STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

The king responded "I'd buy that for a dollar!" and she whipped up a taco. The problem was the outer shell couls not be constructed correctly. She needed the help of the master....


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Chucky Cheese, who, with his mighty powers of hypnotism over children, planned to take over the world.


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Chuck E. could only handle pizza, though. He had to ask he puppes to fry a pizza dough. The pianist said...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

"Play it again, Sam...while I PUMP YOU FULL OF LEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

BAM! goes the gun - Chucky's a robot and a possessed one at that!


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

However, robotics have nothing on giant chickens, who decided this moment was ideal to take out both their rivals in one blow...


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

into chicken nuggest for everyone and a chicken SOFT taco for the king with a side of rice!


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Batman intervened, and took the glory, though, using an ingenious plan to qwell the raging sides by cleverly manipulating...


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Tatiana to throw the taco at the king.


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

...ok to interrupt the story you went TOO FAR with the tacos! R.I.P. wasted tacos... 

The king would get his revenge, as he was deported to Hawaii soon after...


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

No way - the king got a new one; Tatiana messed up the first one .

he grabbed his taco, and while eating it, told Tatiana that she had to get a job at Teodoro's Tortilleria to learn how to make good tacos or be deported herself.


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

Soon thereafter, a mysterious plague befell upon the Kingdom. Everybody died. ; - ; But the gypsy tramp taco-making Tatiania survived...


----------



## starblob (Oct 23, 2005)

"Well this is a fine how you do" she said as she walked out into the stench filled street. "Well surely i can't be the only survivor, i shall go and find others". Walking off down the street she thought to herself - well at least i don't have to work at that taco place anymore....


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

She soon found herself walking down a yellow brick road. No less than thirty paces ahead of her, she saw...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

A monkey who was missing a banana. Tatiana offered that the monkey travel with her to find the wonderful Lizard of Ros(well, New Mexico), whom she claimed could solve all their problems...


----------



## starblob (Oct 23, 2005)

After walking for a while they found themselves at the edge of a forrest, and from within they could hear...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

the creaking noises of the Tin Can, who wished to be filled and packaged and shipped so he could feel useful...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

When Tin Can crossed paths with Tatiana and monkey, he said "mah spoon is too big."


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

They responded with a generic, "What?". It was then they saw the giant spoon man behind Tin Can. He was hungry for something...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

which was proven when he leaped out at the group and yelled "BRAINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


----------



## starblob (Oct 23, 2005)

Tatiana yelled at the spoon "Hey that is not the way to get an intellectual injection - we are on our way to the great and powerful Lizard of Ros, i am sure if you asked him he could give you some smarts - why don't you come with us"


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

It was then that a pair of large hands extended down from the heavens, and began to juggle Tatiana, monkey, tin can and spoon monster.


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

However, soon the hand spraigned it's pinky finger, and dropped all of them to a long 50-foot drop into a cherry pie...


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

That had the "Big Cherry" holding the secret key to the Tin Can. Tatiana used user culinary ability to get into the pie without making it look like sombody had broken in, pulled out the Big Cherry. And opened it up to get the key. Just then, the Cherry pie maker caught her and said "What do you think you are doing?"....


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

At which point, the gingerbread people (being PC) rose up from the cookie jar, and proceeded to lock of all the doors, preventing any escape, and excecuted Command Route 66...


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

to get Tatiana from opening the Tin Can, Giovanni Gingerbread, mayor of the gingerbread cookies declared that HE wanted the Tin Can open, but sent Tatiana to the cherry pie festival dunking machine. She siad "No way will I get wet!". He said "Too bad, so sad". As Gina and Giuseppina Gingerbread took Tatiana away, she exclaimed....


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

... perspiration pouring down her cheeks, a sad, pitiful longing shining through her eyes like a light through a dull, worn and threadbare lampshade, lungs exhausted from a seemingly futile effort to break free of the tightening grip, fists clenched in gut-wrenching desperation as she fights for one last chance at humanity, this beautiful down-trodden creature, her heart writhing in pain and fear, opens her mouth and expels a single breath of air and cries:

(oh, yes! the suspense is rising!)


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

ROSEBUD!


----------



## Ramoz (Feb 6, 2006)

A giant snow sled magically appears and whisks Tatiana away from the Gingerbread men. Unfortunately, the snow sled..


----------



## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

clammers into a white hole and...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

strawberry jelly comes from out of nowhere and...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

chocolate sprinkles rained over the mountains...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

and flooded the valley. Everyone died but for an old man, his family, and two of every animal, both male and female.


----------



## starblob (Oct 23, 2005)

Under these circumstances the animals saw the perfect opportunity to get rid of human kind once and for all and take over the world themselves...


----------



## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

but the old man and his family were immortal vampires, so...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

they ditched the arc and moved to Nevada, where they started a sexy vampire gang.


----------



## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

Now, this sexy vampire gang was most awkward, since all members were related. To really understand this situation, we must flash back to 1954, when Charlie Pruden tripped over a homeless man in Seattle. The homeless man was ...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

frozen solid, and upon striking the ground, shattered into a million pieces.


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

The pieces would be put back together 10 years later by a clumsy French detective named Jacques Clouceau...


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

who by his nature, added in several parts of frozen vegetables...


----------



## Rozy (Apr 19, 2006)

... a whole lotta love and a bit of wine. Then came Beyonce..


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

who owned a chain of restaurants in the South, and employed the homeless man as an exotic, Caribbean salad bar.


----------



## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

The homeless man, who would later "ghost write" the pop song Unbreak my Heart, felt an affinity for Beyonce, for they both had a fetish for bathrooms. On a side note, the famous murder of ...


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

Iwata "Toothy Grin" Hayato created a media blackout on all things regarding dental care.


----------



## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

And they all died. The end. :stu


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

It so happened that a man named Tito Siflhoff, only 37 seconds before Mazikeen's post, legally changed the term "The end." to mean: "More rice, please." And so rice sprayed in mists from inside of the hills and revived all the deceased (obviously). Unfortunately, Mazikeen, somehow being the only one to survive and witness the death wave, inhaled the rice in large quantities and went blind...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

temporarily. When she(?) regained her(?) sight, she(?) beheld a man(?) named...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

(lol, you'll notice I used no masculine/feminine articles in my previous post)

...simply 'L'. Mazikeen asked 'L' when Mazikeen would fully recover Mazikeen's sight. He replied that Mazikeen must first find the _Temple of All Things That Begin With The Letter 'L'_. And so, Mazikeen packed up Mazikeen's stuff and began on Mazikeen's journey.


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

However, at that very moment, the projector caught fire, and the audience fled the theater as the fire alarms went off, while I broke the 4th wall in this story. Meanwhile, back in the movie...


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

... they had just arrived at the edge of the universe after a grueling struggle against the Tofu Empire in a battle for the souls of all the baby ducks...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

that were riding the jade tortoise as it drifted along the beach of oblivion towards the golden fetus of the sea. Accompanying the tortoise was a mighty minstril, who sang:


----------



## adsuperfan (Mar 7, 2006)

"f is frolick through all the flowers, u is for ukalealea, n is for nose picking, sharing gum and sand licking down here in the deep blue sea." At which point the tortoises explained that that particular minstrel was envious of sea creatures, especially square-shaped sponges who broke the laws of physics. this minstrel couldn't break such laws, but...


----------



## starblob (Oct 23, 2005)

he could put people in trances and make them do his bidding with his songs....


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

...which he recorded with his garagerockband, the _DiRtY NO-gOoD TeEnS_. but when his mom kicked them out of the garage they had to...


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

find robots to do jobs for them and earn money so they could...


----------



## adsuperfan (Mar 7, 2006)

buy glass shields to protect the baby ducks' souls, because they knew that one day a war would break out over baby ducks' souls because baby ducks...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

...can make very intimidating faces. In fact, the faces they make are SO intimidating that...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

The beluga whales planned for it, and when the moment was right...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

they blew themselves up, propelling particles of carrion through the air that would splatter upon the ducks faces and humiliate them.


----------



## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

They felt stupid, and said so. The plan was in shambles, for one thing, and the ducks were geese in disguise. Therefore...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

...the 'gucks' quietly retired to their dwellings and spoke no more upon the subject. Days later, however, the gucks discovered a growing sympathy for them, due to their embarassing incident, spreading throughout the land. They were idolized by all and in an effort to take advantage of their popularity they...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

developed their own language, which would be annually revised to enslave non-native speakers into buying a copy of the manual every year.


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

They would quickly patent this language, calling it the "____ for Dummies" series, and proceeded to rapidly give people help on random topics such as poker, international parcheesi tournaments, and the popular "Curing your need of self-help books for Dummies"...


----------



## adsuperfan (Mar 7, 2006)

meanwhile, mazikeen hitched a ride with mr. banana grabber, a banana who rides on an electric scooter and solves crimes, and mr. banana grabber took mazikeen to the teple of all things that start with the letter l, and ...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

was interrupted by the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and Women, who impeded progress by...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

...standing inside the doorway to the temple and refusing to let them in. When one of them opened his mouth to say "You shall die before ever entering this temple", everyone was surprised to hear him actually shriek "LEMONS! LEMONS! LEMONS!!" For you see, the Temple of All Things That Begin With the Letter 'L' had excercised its mysterious powers upon him. A second member of the league then exclaimed...


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

"Let Lemons Love Like Leprechauns!"


----------



## starblob (Oct 23, 2005)

He continued to shout it out unable to stop louder and louder - his head began to move from side to side and around in a frenzy...until "NOOOOO!!" it exploded right off his shoulders. Then a booming voice spoke out from the temple.....


----------



## Icon of Sin (Jan 21, 2006)

Get off my mother!


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

...but was rudely interrupted in mid-sentence. The voice tried to remain confident on the outside but its sensitive heart was wilting on the inside. With an untimely ruptured sense of self-worth, which required mending, the great booming voice hobbled over to the nearest corner and sobbed its misfortunes away. After a count of 14 minutes, the booming voice recovered enough self-esteem to once again confront the mob, and upon doing so...


----------



## starblob (Oct 23, 2005)

was overcome by a violent feeling of anger and wrath. He stretched his arms out in front of him and...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

spinned himself around really fast, such that his spinning bore a hole in the ground... When he reached China, someone was standing by the hole to greet him with a ball of rice.


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Despite he objections, he knew he was famished, so he let them take him to their hut...which turned out to be, not just a hut, but a...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

...rather large nosehair... plucked from a giant basket-weaving turtle named "Seabiscuit"...


----------



## OnyxHeart (Jun 13, 2005)

...who offered them the secret of life in exchange for a nosehair clipper...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

but they balked at the deal, saying they wanted a llama included...


----------



## starblob (Oct 23, 2005)

..insulted by the request, the giant basket weaving turtle blew his nose all over the ungrateful little poeple. The copious amount of snot carried them far off towards...


----------



## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

the nebulas of the Nostrils of Nostradamus, where Norman the happy Newt...


----------



## VelvetElvis (Apr 29, 2006)

...lived inside a mucous membrane shaped like Todd Bridges, dispensing bronze falafels and go-go boots to the mutated lemmings that infested the Nose Hair Forest, until they refused his gifts and decided to boil him in a raspberry paste...


----------



## starblob (Oct 23, 2005)

..which they then decided to eat. Delighted at the taste of their newt raspberry dish, which they called 'Tewtie Newtie' they decided to sell it commercially. But in order to do so they would need more Newts. Armed to the teeth they left their forrest dwelling...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

...making sure to put on teeth guards beforehand. During the first leg of their journey, they were confronted by a small plastic man carrying a paper bag which contained a great deal of silverware...


----------



## VelvetElvis (Apr 29, 2006)

Who shouted, "hands off my ham!"


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

and challenged him to a fiddle contest with a golden fiddle that sounded horrible and weighed hundreds of pounds.


----------



## starblob (Oct 23, 2005)

"What are we doing my brothers and sisters ?" said Minty one of the mutated lemmings. "We are a mighty band of lemmings and we can do whatever the hell we want" he continued. "We don't have to challenge anyone, we can just knock those down who get in our way". The crowd of lemmings liked the sound of this and turned and stared savagely at the plastic man. As they began to run at him, he put to his lips a whistle that he carried with him...to summon....


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

A giant sloar, who then challenged everyone to a game of guess by saying: "Okay, I'm thinking of a word. It's five letters. It starts with a p and ends with a y." :um


----------



## adsuperfan (Mar 7, 2006)

and, the mutated lemmings having mutated minds, said "poopy" which set off the giant being, because he hates poopy, and he...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

...pulled out all their hair and rubbed their scalps with lemon balm to attract nats and mosquitos. But little did he know that lemmings have a natural allergy to lemon balm which causes them to repeat the last word they said for eternity. After being pulped by a hailstorm of "poopies", the giant had no choice but to do the noble thing and...


----------



## starblob (Oct 23, 2005)

spontaneously combust into a hundred little peices. He had to do this you see - because when he (or his parts thereof) is small enough, the word 'poopy' has no affect on him. Hundreds of little sloar peices ran off to find some water, so they could regenerate back into the giant sloar that they once were.


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

When the action passed by, the giant would reform, using the new technology of Marionism- spontaneous manipulation of atoms to shrink and grow, and develop powers with it just by touching mushrooms. The giant grew a mustache, and...


----------



## adsuperfan (Mar 7, 2006)

started dating the dumb girl from down the trail, who thought that the giant was tom selleck. meanwhile, the lemmings...


----------



## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

stood in line, handing out lemons to the vagabonds of FiddleFoom, who happened to be passing through on their way to BangleBoon. Behind them, they carried on a cart the deceased body of Lily Long Legs, the giant's ex. The giant, who had not seen L^3 since last Mother's Day and the unfortunate incident with the three frogs, saw the limp body of his old love and violently...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

began to dance the Macarena with chaotic results.


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

Meanwhile, as a spec of dust floats aimlessly through an evenloping darkness toward unknown resolutions, a middle-aged housewife...


----------



## starblob (Oct 23, 2005)

...quickly puts her hand up to her eye as she is accosted by a spec of dust. She stands back up and looks around her unfamiliar surroundings and sees a reflection of herself in a window. Horrified at the image, she faints and dreams about her once long legs and her former love who liked to dance...


----------



## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

until that fateful day when her lover, Dorian Gray, ...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

coldly shunned her, in spite of her love. He was then snatched and flown to another world by a screeching harpy...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

... named Gorian Dray. In this world, Gorian and Dorian intended to fight to the death. However, upon being strewn into opposing planes of existence, their bodies intersected one another, consequently creating Gorian-Dorian, a doubleman with irresistible charm and an unmatched repugnance. Gorian-Dorian returned to the middle-aged woman and insisted that...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

she consummate her undying love for him while wearing a clown costume. he had a clown fetish...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

and the shoes and nose to match...


----------



## starblob (Oct 23, 2005)

Unfortuantely he did not know that she had a phobia of clowns. At the mere suggestion she had a heart attack and died :dead ...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

but that didn't stop him from...


----------



## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

dressing her like a clown and sitting her at the table for his folks. Yew see, his folks ain't the discerning type, and figured she was just a quiet type of folk. They also figured she was a bad cook, for Gorian-Dorian tended to batter with mud and stones and such things, which were very undigestible. Gorian-Dorian's pa, whose name was actually just Pa (IX), was on the toilet for the duration of his visit. Ma (real name Bonny-Jean) was, on the other hand, ...


----------



## starblob (Oct 23, 2005)

on the verandah smoking what she thought was a cigarette. After a while she began to see.....


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

...that she was actually smoking a "cigarelle", a small mythic woodland creature which changes shape every sunset. You can identify a cigarelle because they are always donning a set of plastic vampire teeth. However, if ever you were to take a cigarelle's vampire teeth away...


----------



## starblob (Oct 23, 2005)

they would instantly fly into your mouth, making you a vampire. Unfortunately Ma didn't know this and took them out - after she bled the little cigarelle dry she walked inside and...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

slung the lifeless body of the girl over her shoulder and carried her upstairs...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

where he was surprised to see the president, VP and treasurer of the Lollypop Guild awaiting them...


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

..to show them their newest Spring 2006 collection of lollipops: in the delicious new flavors that include: four-leaf clover, new car, and dog biscuit. Pa wondered what the secret recipe for the dog biscuit flavor was, but the VP wouldn't tell him. "It's a secret - arf arf!" he told Pa (IX).

Ma :wife, upset at Pa's little endeavor, decided to go to the Guild and tell them they needed a new flavor - rolling pin. Outraged, she also said...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

"Man the bilge pumps!", to which Pa took offense...


----------



## starblob (Oct 23, 2005)

"Hey, i may talk nonsense but there is no need for THAT" he said slightly irked. Still under the influence of his 'irked' mood, he dobbed in Ma for being a vampire. Vampirism is illegal and the penalty for being one is...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

death by jalopeno peppers!


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

Meanwhile, approximately 400 miles above the surface of the earth, a Russian cosmonaut bangs on a pipe with a wrench...


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

Since Russia land is so flat........the pipe flew all the way to tennesse and almost hit a famous country singer by the name of............


----------



## starblob (Oct 23, 2005)

Lusty Funbags. After realising what had ALMOST happened she decided to hold a press conference detailing her 'ordeal'. (She was a fading star you see and needed the press) As she was approaching the podium to give her harrowing story she noticed that...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

her fly was open, so...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

...she replaced her pants with a pair that wasn't unzipped and...


----------



## brokenlight (Mar 10, 2004)

proceeded to take the now famous pipe to an appraiser, who told her that her fly was unzipped again, and also that the pipe was worth...


----------



## slurpazillia (Nov 18, 2005)

:banana


----------



## starblob (Oct 23, 2005)

a fellow made of jello grabbed her. He then proceeded to drag her under and through a secret plug hole at the bottom of the pool, which led to the land of Jelly. Lusty didn't know it yet but she was destined to....


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

be the first person to get eaten by a mutant rooster, with her fly unzipped.


----------



## VelvetElvis (Apr 29, 2006)

Which is only legal in Louisiana and New Mexico, unless you're carrying a poodle, which was, fortunately, tossed to her by a mysterious bystander wearing a diamond-encrusted zoot suit...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

with his fly unzipped.


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

while driving to Talahassee in the pouring rain, with a rabid babboon in the backseat...


----------



## brokenlight (Mar 10, 2004)

Armed with her poodle, for a moment she was content. Then, it hit her. She was now legal to be eaten by a mutant rooster. Freaking out, she let loose the poodle, who then ran directly to the backseat of the car and began buckling the babboon's seatbelt, careful to do so using only his favorite paw...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

so as not to scathe anything sensitive that might be exposed since the baboon's fly was unzipped.


----------



## brokenlight (Mar 10, 2004)

The mysterious driver stood up and stuck his head out of the sunroof, shouting at the top of his lungs...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

"CATCH THE MIST!~ CATCH THE MYTH!~ CATCH THE MYSTERY!~ CATCH THE DRIFT!~"


----------



## starblob (Oct 23, 2005)

Unknown to the mysterious driver he unwittingly cast off an ancient curse with his seemingly nonsensical outburst. Long ago a disgruntled witch doctor put a curse on a bunch of practical jokers - turning them into....


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

cognitive toilets who hear with their handles and see with their mouths, to be placed in bars and diners around the world.


----------



## starblob (Oct 23, 2005)

Now back to their human form they vowed to exact revenge on the whole world for their repulsive punishment at the hands of the witch doctor. OOHH!!!!! the flashbacks of people eliminating their putrid waste over the years :cry "We will have our revenge" Wolfgang assured his fellow practical jokers. We will begin by.......


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

pushing his car into the creek and...


----------



## starblob (Oct 23, 2005)

then kidnapping his beloved.....


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

...toe nail clipper, which he could not possibly stand to live without due to the fact that...


----------



## starblob (Oct 23, 2005)

it was the ONLY toenail clipper that could get through his tough as nails :kma toenails. If he didn't find it quick stat his nails would grow and grow rendering him unable to walk. He had to lay a trap for them - 'What to do what to do" he thought to himself. AHA! I've got it, i'll.....


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

become a merman so that I will never have to walk again." So the witch doctor went to the beach one day...


----------



## anonymousnewbie (Nov 21, 2005)

.....and saw a UFO crash landing on shore. The extraterrestrials climbed out of the spaceship and announced that they would soon conquer the entire earth and destroy every thing that moves on this planet. The witch doctor laughed and said that she longed to do that as well but could only take out her anger on Wolfgang and the practical jokers. But the extraterrestrials insisted that they wanted the honor to destroy earth, to which the witch doctor replied........


----------



## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

"Which witch would switch with you at this hour? Me." And she proceeded to sigh. Enter death, stage right, ....


----------



## Amande (Feb 5, 2005)

Having conspired with the witch doctor prior to his arrival, death began to chant "oooh eee ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing-bang" and the aliens were lulled into a relaxed and passive state. Which left the witch doctor and death to go about...


----------



## brokenlight (Mar 10, 2004)

Eh, what was it they wanted to do? They could no longer remember. They now unexpectedly found themselves seething with jealousy as they watched the peaceful aliens relaxed and sleepy. Perhaps we should sleep as well, they pondered...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

or perhaps not. Perhaps we should rent a bus and treat the local convent of elderly nuns to...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

...punch and pie. Everybody loves punch and pie.


----------



## My_Shrink (Jun 27, 2006)

Meanwhile in Ouagadougou, the capital of the west-african
republic of Burkina Faso....


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

a naked man traverses the plain on a home-made pogo stick, singing to himself...


----------



## calidan535 (Jan 11, 2006)

zipedee doo dah zipidea, my oh my what a wonderful day! But just when life couldn't get better he broke his pogo stick and was suddenly left without transportation in the lion infested plains...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

it was then that a band of cannibals rushed out of a thicket and feasted upon his flesh, while singing...


----------



## brokenlight (Mar 10, 2004)

We may never pass this way again...


----------



## calidan535 (Jan 11, 2006)

but the disturbing situation came to an end


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

and then it came to a beginnig again...with gum drops and lollipops with........


----------



## brokenlight (Mar 10, 2004)

Peeps. Lots and lots of brightly colored peeps. They waddled across the land searching high and low for...


----------



## calidan535 (Jan 11, 2006)

furbies and weebles, because...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

.. it was recently proven, scientifically of course, that furbies and weebles hold the key to the heavens.


----------



## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

Yes, for the furbies and weebles every day was like nirvana. Literally. Then along came Julius Caesar, proclaiming, "The government's trying to kill me!"


----------



## calidan535 (Jan 11, 2006)

Clearly, there was only 3 options available.....Ben & Jerry's ice cream, American Idol, or...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

..eyeglass cleaner. The naive citizens of Cape Cape chose American Idol over the other 2 options. However, their spectacles soon became muddled with dustbunnies, eyelashes and other unsightly things that they soon could not even WATCH their American Idol!

To fix the problem, the Count of Cape Cape, Count Cape, ordered an emergency delivery for vast quantities of...


----------



## calidan535 (Jan 11, 2006)

Newtonian physics powder. Why? Because it sounded cool. In his excitement while carrying it he tripped and the powder went all over the tv, but it was on a commercial...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

.. flight to L.A. that he realized his hair dresser did a terrible job dying his hair. In a state of frenzied embarrassment, the Count broke into the nearest petshop and began thrashing about. Then, grabbing the first 2 kittens he spotted, he promptly stowed them under his armpits. 

In his crazed, self-conscious stupor, the Count ran into the center of a bustling intersection and proclaimed ...


----------



## brokenlight (Mar 10, 2004)

"Don't hate me because I am beautiful!!!" Placing the cats on top of his head he continued, "This is my hair in the morning".... Then he made a mad dash towards the corner pavement and...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

.. just then, a jaded girl scout ramsacked him with a box of cookies while shouting "Take me to Wallyworld!" Naturally, there was only one way for the Count to respond...


----------



## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

"Why yes I am the late departed Wally Wood!" as he saved this thread.


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

Then an ice cream truck crashed into an abandoned lemonade stand and burst into flames...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Prompting a huge stock surge in WAFFLES, TASTY WAFFLES!


----------



## bb927 (Sep 16, 2006)

"Finally I meet my father!" and embrace Papa Smurf...


----------



## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

as Papa Smurf shakes his head, stating, "Some mook just called me Brutus. Thank goodness he's dead." He proceeded to eat some waffles with Wally Wood, who was getting syrup all over his drawings of naked disney characters.


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

but maple syrup wasn't the only thing he spilled on his drawings, so it was no big hassle. Meanwhile, in the city of Bethlehem of Judea,..


----------



## parker (Jun 4, 2006)

jesus was raking in record profits up from the waffle stocks he bought as a young savior. now maybe heaven will have enough money to...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

finance a new single entitled "Extravagantus Dominus Maximus", for the sheer purpose of...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

..distracting honeybees from their hives so that beekeepers can..


----------



## parker (Jun 4, 2006)

impregnate the queens with blessed semen to create a race of holy honeybees. they then sent these bees to hell where they...


----------



## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

get attacked by dogs that shoot cannibalistic bees out of their mouthes and..


----------



## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

it was the Holy Honey Bees (HHBs) vs the Cannibalistic Bees of Cerberus (CBCs). The fight evenly matched until...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

.. 6, the vicious beast leading the attack for the CBCs, became terribly and horribly afraid of 7, blessed leader of the HHBs. Why?

Well it seems that 7 8 9.


----------



## parker (Jun 4, 2006)

then 9 ripped violently out of 7's gullet! the battle was on when all of a sudden...


----------



## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

A swarm of hornets darkened the sky and 9 turned to 6 and said.....


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

"Psst! If you grew a 'stache you would look just like Burt Reynolds." 

Several weeks later, after 6's 'stache was in full bloom, he decided the results were unsatisfactory and became angry at 9 for getting his hopes up. The next day, at the breakfast banquet, 6 officially declared 9 to be his archnemesis and...


----------



## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

9 reminded 6 that he was a she, in which case her mustache was quite luxuriant. 6 was momentarily lulled by 9's charming ways, until more hornets came and......


----------



## aria (Sep 29, 2006)

swept them away into the woods. They spotted the hornet's nest up ahead and quickly turned down another path to avoid it, went around the corner and ran into...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

a bus, filled with...


----------



## adsuperfan (Mar 7, 2006)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

trekkies, whose super-pale skin was tempting to the angry bees


----------



## aka dru (Oct 30, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

she turned jewish an wanted a lobster for a boyfriend...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

but had to lower her standards to a kosher pig named Doofus McPinklewad...


----------



## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

who drowned himself when he saw her naked...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

in a hot tub with Don Corleone...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

who was, at the time, shaving his legs...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

while counting his money, and after getting out, toweling himself off with stacks of spare dollar bills...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

and having licked his finger and saying in a colorful manner, "MMmmm, I taste sooOO gOOood!"


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

However suddenly the Spanish Inquisition barged in ready with their devices of torture and ridicule...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

and proceeded to get overtaken by a fleet of quicker, smaller English inqusitors...


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

They then calm down and realize they are in the same business and joyfully discuss their various torture techniques. They ultimately come to the agreement that they don't like the French and head out to invade France.


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Meanwhile, the French prepare for the invasion, stockpiling millions and millions of...


----------



## donniedarko (Oct 23, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

cans of Potted Meat and jars of....


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

recycled pigs heads, in an effort to...


----------



## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

monopolize on the flesh of dead animals, which was...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

at the time, neutrally controlled by the Sweedes...


----------



## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

who market economy had recently crashed, causing, among other things, widespread electrical outages. Their of supply of....


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

rancid cat pee confused the rest of the world, but in the end, was ignored because of other, more pressing matters. The Sweedes took advantage of this oversight, and sprung into action...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

labeling their plenteous cans of rancid cat pee as Mountain Dew, eventually prompting an all time high in Mountain Dew sales! Competing soda companies compensated by...


----------



## jay_dizzle_girl (Nov 17, 2005)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

Make new outfits so they can look more fashionable until...........


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

the gorillas attacked!


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

the ears of the people of Earth with a new global radio show called...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

American Idol: Radio edition, that


----------



## donniedarko (Oct 23, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

gave new life to the long dead careers of Vanilla Ice and...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

MC Hammer, who collaborated on a new album called...


----------



## donniedarko (Oct 23, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

Ice Breakers, which was sponsored by the huge multi-national corporation....


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Planet Starbucks, a conglomerate of the namesake coffee company who was expanding their empire to other worlds, their first stop being...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

The sun, which is not a planet, but in fact a star. Upon discovering this...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

they died and birthed little coffee babies that made their home on the sun...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

of the third moon of Planters 11, named of course, for it's namesake. However, they were eventually sued for...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

turning the sun into a giant hydrogen powered percolator, which...


----------



## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

took much needed money away from the oil industry. The coffee and fossil fuel industries therefore teamed up with the penultimate goal of eradicating hydrogen and solar based energies from reaching...


----------



## donniedarko (Oct 23, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

orgasm, which on an inter-planetary level is also known as....


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

hara-kiri. That's it. Plain and simple. Nothing else to say here about this story, except...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

Three men and a baby. Yes. Three men and a baby...


----------



## donniedarko (Oct 23, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

were enjoying a quiet day at home when suddenly...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

one man reached into his pants and...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

laughed, as he pulled out his secret weapon...and a double entendre, as a double whammy...


----------



## donniedarko (Oct 23, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

appeared on the episode of Press Your Luck they were watching. The baby started to cry and suddenly...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Elvis rushed on stage, declared "BE BRITISH!" in a loud voice to the audience, and proceeded to set his guitar on fire and play a heavy metal rift, in an effort to get with the times. Unfortunatly, his stunt went awry when...


----------



## joe81 (Dec 16, 2006)

the audience realized that this wasn't Elvis, but Jimi Hendrix, both supposed to be dead that finally Jim Morrison had to join the action and inform the audience that "Your all a bunch of ****ing idiots"


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

The audience fell into a state of deep thoughtfulness, and thought about what was said. Just when they were about to start a new leaf, Hulk Hogan ran in, and screamed at the top of his lungs...


----------



## barnabas (Apr 24, 2007)

...only to find out Hercules had eaten his dinner.


----------



## Hoppipolla (Apr 11, 2007)

So he decides to...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

take him on in the ring, which would have gone through had Don King not reared his ugly head, and...


----------



## donniedarko (Oct 23, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

began to massage mayonaise into his scalp while performing an interpretive dance to the tune of 'Eye of the Tiger' and starting a rumor about...


----------



## joe81 (Dec 16, 2006)

how he gave Rocky a new steroid based on mayonnaise extract that enabled him to conquer the Russian, but some of the side effects being....


----------



## barnabas (Apr 24, 2007)

traveling back in time with...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

Marty McFly, and Bill Nye the Science Guy, and his clone, Will Rye the Tax Collector Guy...


----------



## donniedarko (Oct 23, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

who was known to enjoy Rye Whisky and slapping....


----------



## barnabas (Apr 24, 2007)

five ducks every other night while sitting...


----------



## donniedarko (Oct 23, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

in a warm Creamed Corn bath and reading...


----------



## barnabas (Apr 24, 2007)

a Chinese take-out menu. Five years earlier...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

he had ordered the same, only to be rubuffed by the Cablinasian mafia...


----------



## donniedarko (Oct 23, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

who were known for wearing Trucker Hats and knee high socks almost as much as they were known for their hatred of....


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

wubbards (the ones that live in cupboards). This hatred stems from...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

the Evil Monkey that lives in his closet, which constantly...


----------



## donniedarko (Oct 23, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

blasts Wham! CDs while drinking scotch and ....


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

barfing in his hands and then rubbing it all over his face. Why? Well you see...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

he was driven insane by a giant Sweedish meatball with a bloodcurdling scream...


----------



## donniedarko (Oct 23, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

until the terror caused him to lose complete control of his...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

pelvic splanchnic ganglion, creating a bowel movement that was so extreme he was lucky to have any bones left. This naturally left him a little alarmed, but his lifestyle was too hectic to dwell on it for too long...until the rabbits came...


----------



## donniedarko (Oct 23, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

and began to nibble away at his self esteem by suggesting that....


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

he is the one that let the dogs out...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

metaphorically, of course. If the dogs were ACTUALLY let out, it really wouldn't be that big of a deal says Jim because they get out all the time and they pretty much always come back before sundown. The real point of interest here is Jim's adverse collection of...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

the mysteriously-named-yet-painstakingly-obvious substance known simply as "it"...


----------



## donniedarko (Oct 23, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

which was left to him in the last will and testament of James Doohan, who in additon to playing Scotty on Star Trek also appeared on stage nude several times in....


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

this movie where this guy crapped in his pants and it come down his pant legs and onto the ground and he slipped on it and died...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

, and soon was promptly buried, where he rose again as Skater McGee, determined to...


----------



## donniedarko (Oct 23, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

gleam the cube in ways that would make Christian Slater experience the type of pants soiling mentioned above. McGee was the first skateboarder to ever....


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

skateboard while juggling babies. This was followed by a violent uproar from the baby community in the form of...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

oops! :stu


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

the radical group Polka Operators Organizing Parties, or POOP for short...


----------



## donniedarko (Oct 23, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

POOP's latest party was a fundraiser for farmers with sexy daughters. In additon to raising millions of dollars for this worthy cause, POOP also....


----------



## barnabas (Apr 24, 2007)

run across the field holding a flag that says...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

PARTY NAKED...THE GUILT WON'T KICK IN 'TILL TOMORROW!...


----------



## donniedarko (Oct 23, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

Unfortunately this flag was stolen by a gang of militant sheep farmers who were intent on...


----------



## barnabas (Apr 24, 2007)

learning how to sing the alphabet song within...


----------



## donniedarko (Oct 23, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

a designated time limit set by the king of....


----------



## psyche (Jul 16, 2007)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

the colony of forgotten old people in your attic who spend their days sipping exlax shakes and playing parcheesi, looking out the window at...


----------



## donniedarko (Oct 23, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

those darn kids who won't stay off of the darn lawn. The old people decided to set a trap for the kids by....


----------



## No-Name Jello (Jul 14, 2007)

hiding out in the bushes with 6 cans of shaving cream, a pack of condoms, and an issue of entertainment weekly with the intention to...


----------



## psyche (Jul 16, 2007)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

create an amazing flying machine to go back in time so they could find paris hilton as a baby and kick her in the head, forever disrupting the space-time continuum because Old Man Herbert...


----------



## donniedarko (Oct 23, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

would never have become a drag queen if he hadn't watched The Simple Life reruns while recovering from his butter churning accident. Unfortunately an unexpected result of this time travelling expedition was....


----------



## No-Name Jello (Jul 14, 2007)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

slight "jellification" which prevented him from...


----------



## psyche (Jul 16, 2007)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

completing the experiment he began in hopes of regrowing his bone marrow to fight the harrowing battle of osteoperosis, as his jellified limbs accidentally...


----------



## No-Name Jello (Jul 14, 2007)

developed self-awareness and promptly detached from the old man's body. They told him that if he was going to continue with all this time travel business, they wanted no part of it and left for the sunny shores of...


----------



## donniedarko (Oct 23, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

Brisbane, Australia, where beer is cheap and women are...


----------



## psyche (Jul 16, 2007)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

looser than old stretched out socks. and not nearly as cool as girls in Melbourne. Here the limbs met a world-weary, wise cracking philly named Chandice who took them home and introduced them to...


----------



## donniedarko (Oct 23, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

the joys of reading erotic Full House fan fitction. They found this hobby so disturbing that they immediately jumped out the window and....


----------



## joe81 (Dec 16, 2006)

then were confronted by the Olsen twins, who being the authors of said fiction, revealed that it was not fiction but real life erotica, leaving Joey to face many years in prison and the rest of the cast having to........


----------



## No-Name Jello (Jul 14, 2007)

go on an action packed, globe trotting adventure to clear Joey's name. Their Adventure saw them to the jungles of Bolivia where they were hot on the trail of the infamous Señor Gutierrez Ortega, a ruthless cartel boss with 300 armed men at his disposal, a long jagged scar extending from either end of his black eyepatch, and an insatiable appetite for blond American jailbait. However, upon attempting to infiltrate his jungle villa, our group of adventurers were captured and shot. Thus came to a tragic end the heroic (though some say foolhardy) effort to clear Joey's name.

***

After 25 years of hard time, joey was eventually released. The world had changed so much and it seemed as though life had passed him by. Finding work wasn't easy either, as he had become used to his job as the prison librarian.Finally one day, after being fired from his fifth burger-flipping gig, he bought a length of rope and tied it to the old oak rafters of the halfway house the state was so kind to provide him with. He placed a chair under the noose and stepped up onto it placing the rope around his neck. Joey paused for a moment, then took out his pocket knife and meticulously carved into the rafter "Joey was here". He took a deep breath and...


----------



## psyche (Jul 16, 2007)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

farted, then when he took another breath it stunk so bad he ran to open the window. while busy trying to figure out the "complicated" latch, a basketfull of deformed kittens walked in and, kittens being curious, inspected the noose and hung themselves. When he turned around, Joey...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

*re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

found himself naked in a room with a bunch of psychotic nymphomaniacs...


----------



## Jack (Dec 29, 2004)

mumbling to himself "ATTICA! ATTICA!" repeatedly, earning him both respect and disdain from...


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

*Re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

the Land of Lost Kitten SoulZ!

This is a place which, at one time, was a sacred and peaceful destination for kittens whose curiosity became the death of them. In 1999, however, it was bought out by P. Diddy -- he wanted to throw a dope New Year's Millenium bash there -- who swapped out the lower case "s" for a capital "Z" to appeal to a more youthful, less educated crowd. Much to Diddy's dismay, the souls of the lost kittens gathered and, at the stroke of midnight, overthrew him by...


----------



## TheStig (Nov 24, 2007)

*Re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

Meowing and purring a double platinum triple uranium billboards #1 beat. Diddy was so crushed that he got into his Landrover and...


----------



## Mr. (Steven) Hyde (Sep 8, 2007)

*Re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

did doughnuts in his worst enemy's yard, as retribution for the Noodle Incident of 2005.


----------



## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

*Re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

Which involved 10,000 pounds of stringy noodles, 5 goats name Mohammad Ali, and, most terrifying of all...


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

*Re: Finnish the story..what happens next*

Whoopi Goldberg, in a televised 24 hour mind-raping marathon of Sister Act 1 & 2.


----------



## anxiouslittleme (Feb 17, 2006)

Whilst | rubbing | her | saucer | nips | to | the | beat | of | her | premature | babies| life | machine


----------



## cicada (Aug 25, 2005)

she awoke from her dream


----------



## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

find she's one hour late for school


----------



## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

We drink to our youth, to the days come and gone.
For the age of oppression is now nearly done.
We'll drive out the Empire from this land that we own.
With our blood and our steel we will take back our home.


----------

