# Goals



## deliman (Feb 2, 2006)

*update 4/10

The past few weeks have been great for me. Though nothing concrete has happened, I've learned more, reflected on the past, accepted the present, and realized the opportunities I have for the future. Instead of quickly escaping to diversions like I have in the past, I've been keeping SA on my mind, seeing the pitfalls that I usually fall into and the possible solutions that I can apply.

After getting inspiration from parents, friends, as well as people on this board I think it's time for me to really turn the corner, take some steps, however small they may be, and make some real progress with SA and my future. So following what a lot of other people on here are doing I'm going to post some of my goals (for now):

*Answering the Phone: *Gotta pick up regardless who is on the other line. (Damn caller id). I've been avoiding too many harmless conversations just out of the fear of how I appear/sound on the phone. 
So far for today, I'm 1/1.
- 2/26: Answered the phone in pretty much most of my opportunities. The times when I got overly anxious and didn't answer I was able to will myself to call whoever called back (I consider this picking up the spare as opposed to getting a strike on the first bowling ball). It's been good so far, I'm getting more comfortable and am starting to dispel some of the fear I've had.
- 3/5: missed some calls here and there, but I pretty much have contacted back, in some way, the people who have called.
- 4/10: doing okay here. I've had some ups and downs but I'm back on track for the most part

*Volunteering: *I've always wanted to do this, but too anxious about making the first steps. I want to make significant progress for this.
- 2/26: Eek need to get going on this. I don't want to make empty goals.
- 3/5: Got the forms I need, just need to schedule an orientation. Going to volunteer at the university hospital! Woot.
- 4/10: Eh, scheduling gafoo with the orientation (since I have classes during all the orientation times). I'm trying to find a new opportunity that meets my needs.

*Going to Class*: Been missing too many classes the past few years. It's a wonder that I'm still doing pretty okay in school. There'd be classes where I only attended 1-2 lectures the whole quarter. Dang, if I had been going to class my grades would be so awesome. But that's the past, I can't let that knock down what I can do from now on. Weird SA circumstances or not, I need to get my *** there.
- 2/26: A little setback this week since I was afraid to go back to a small discussion class that I've missed the past few meetings. I need to jump past this hurdle now.
- 3/5: Shame on me. A little setback has turned into a big setback. The easy thing to do would be to stop updating on this thread, but I need to be dead honest with myself and face the facts. Gotta get back on track, especially with finals 2 weeks away.
-4/10: I'm doing okay with going to classes, though I can feel the SA kicking in harder (new classes). I'm trying to dig in deep and remembering the strength I had in the past.

*Visit my friend's dorm: Too scared to do this before, time to stop BSing excuses and check out his crib.*
- 2/26: I should have a chance to do this today since I'm giving him a ride back to his place. Time to muster up the strength.
- 3/5: Having the time to do this is more of a hurdle than SA itself now.

*Walk around in public more: goes without saying*
- 2/26: didn't have much opportunity so far since I've been studying a lot recently but I did catch some food with a friend a rarely see.
- 3/5: browsed around in some stores longer than I usually would have. Plus I was able to force myself to talk on a cell phone while walking around in the store. This usually freaks me out since anyone near you can hear you speak semi-candidly. 
- 4/10: Went to the mall, went to a tournament for something I enjoy (meeting some new people in the process).

*Health(2ndary): *anxiety has caused me to neglect keeping myself healthy. SA has given me long periods of inactivity as well as contributed to me starting smoking. I hope to kick the habit and improve my diet and exercise.
- 3/5: With some inspiration from the spirit of the Lent season, I've given up smoking cold turkey. So I guess that makes it 5 days smoke-free. I was pretty groggy for the first 2-3 days, but it's all worth it. 
- 4/10: I screwed up with the smoking thing... maybe I'm trying too much too early. I feel really horrible for this especially because of the religion consideration. But it's a tough task that I'm chipping away at. Within this time though, I've gotten off of caffeine related products, which is definitely good.

Hmmm, I thought I had more. I guess this will do for now, so I'm not overwhelmed.


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## Swiftwind (Feb 5, 2005)

I think it's great that you're making goals for yourself. I hope you get on well with them!

Sometimes I just set myself really simple tasks but it feels like a big achievement if I go through with them. This week I set myself the goal of talking to the new person in my class, and I did! And he is really quiet.

On the bad side, today I just couldn't pick up the phone at all.. The only time I got the courage to pick it up no-one answered on the other end!


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## deliman (Feb 2, 2006)

Good job with talking to someone new in class. That's something that feels infinitely difficult for me at times. 

Keep up with the phone answering! I answered the phone this week and got back in touch with a really good friend that I haven't talked to in a few months. Normally I would just look at the caller id and let it ring on.


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## Swiftwind (Feb 5, 2005)

That's really great, and what a nice outcome!  I got up the courage again to pick up the phone again and still no one was on the line (well they were, they just weren't answering), but then again tonight my friend rang me and I picked up (I don't have caller id). She is such a struggle to talk to because she doesn't say much, but I managed to last for 10 minutes, then made and excuse that I had to make dinner!  Oh well, I guess 10 minutes is better than nothing.


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## deliman (Feb 2, 2006)

And a nice outcome for yourself as well! Haha, it is always the quiet ones that are so hard. It's like a major test of SA. Those periods of silence... ugh. I wish it could be like Uma Thurman and John Travolta in Pulp Fiction with their comfortable silences, but no... the anxiety is so strong. But I think we can overcome.


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## Argo (May 1, 2005)

deliman said:


> I wish it could be like Uma Thurman and John Travolta in Pulp Fiction with their comfortable silences, but no... the anxiety is so strong.


Might have been a little joke there. The silence is so "comfortable" that they have to fill it with a conversation about how comfortable the silences are between them.


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## deliman (Feb 2, 2006)

Ah, i'm not sure if I caught that in the scene when I saw it, but that totally makes sense and is pretty damn hilarious. Need to rewatch that movie again, been a long time since I've last seen it.


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## On the way (Feb 9, 2006)

Don't forget to give yourself leeway to make lots of mistakes while you're learning, and also to pause long enough to appreciate your own courage.


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