# Who here has never had a gf/bf, date, sex, hug, kiss, cuddle, hand-hold, or dance?



## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

Anyone else? It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't a daily urge.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Isn't 21 a little young to be complaining about this?


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## SnakeEyes (Jun 27, 2012)

I have just not in the last 14 years.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Why do people always list "hugging" as though hugging was a sign that somebody is attracted to you? Because it's not. I've been hugged by many girls who'd already friend-zoned me, they hug me after they hug everyone else.


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## IdontMind (Dec 31, 2011)

They hug me and then they say "Oh it's you".


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## enfield (Sep 4, 2010)

vicente said:


> Why do people always list "hugging" as though hugging was a sign that somebody is attracted to you? Because it's not. I've been hugged by many girls who'd already friend-zoned me, they hug me after they hug everyone else.


because we are not thinking about the greeting good-bye kinds of hugs, and understandably so. you need to have had like mixed-gender circles of friends to have experienced that. but we don't typically have those.



komorikun said:


> Isn't 21 a little young to be complaining about this?


don't you remember when you were our age


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

enfield said:


> don't you remember when you were our age


I don't recall ever obsessing over being a virgin or anything. And besides lots of people don't start dating till their early 20s, especially those with social anxiety. I'd say it's time to get worried and take drastic action if you haven't started dating by age 23.


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

komorikun said:


> I don't recall ever obsessing over being a virgin or anything. And besides lots of people don't start *dating* till their early 20s, especially those with social anxiety. I'd say it's time to get worried and take drastic action if you haven't started dating by age 23.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

I've never done these things either. Cuddles to you and everyone else.



komorikun said:


> I don't recall ever obsessing over being a virgin or anything. And besides lots of people don't start dating till their early 20s, especially those with social anxiety. I'd say it's time to get worried and take drastic action if you haven't started dating by age 23.


Holy crap, it's komorikun! Yay!!



SilentLuke said:


> Anyone else? It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't a daily urge.


And SilentLuke, my homie! Everyone's here! :yay


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## enfield (Sep 4, 2010)

komorikun said:


> I don't recall ever obsessing over being a virgin or anything. And besides lots of people don't start dating till their early 20s, especially those with social anxiety. I'd say it's time to get worried and take drastic action if you haven't started dating by age 23.


the OP is not doing that! he just wants nice relationship things you know like hugs. but haha okay i see. and i know relative to other ppl with SAD it is nothing abnormal. if we only compared ourselves to the SAS population there would be a lot less complaining. but real life isn't like SAS so obviously that's not easy.

anyway it's different i think when it comes from a feeling place rather than a 'i'm so behind in my life, omg, i do not have what i need / am supposed to have' place.


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## BTW (Jul 8, 2009)

komorikun said:


> ...I'd say it's time to get worried and take drastic action...


What would you count 'drastic action' as?


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

enfield said:


> because we are not thinking about the greeting good-bye kinds of hugs, and understandably so. you need to have had like mixed-gender circles of friends to have experienced that. but we don't typically have those.
> 
> don't you remember when you were our age


And how could I forget enfield. The alcohol has fried my brain.


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## enfield (Sep 4, 2010)

Ape in space said:


> And how could I forget enfield. The alcohol has fried my brain.


you know out of _everyone _on here i would want you to have an intelligent human female companion the most. if there was one up for grabs and for some reason we had to vote on which lucky SASer would receive the female companion i would vote for you.

also on that thread where we had to list our favorite threads i was going to submit your 'should i get absolutely wasted' thread in my post :b. (i didn't for some reason but i intended to).

it's so funny how mirthful / maudlin (i am trying to use big words like you) your drunk posts are relative to your sober ones. as if your normal ones were not awesome enough already! :b.


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## Josefz27 (Oct 26, 2012)

Same here. Hopefully I start dating around 24. I guess I have that "You'll eventually find someone" mindset" for marrying a woman some day but as the years pass.. I have no idea how it's suppose to happen when I never even had a girl friend plus I act like a nervous wreck around girls, especially around ones I like.


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## Odinn (Dec 15, 2012)

These questions and threads are getting a little redundant.


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## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

What are these things of which you speak?


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## enfield (Sep 4, 2010)

Odinn said:


> These questions and threads are getting a little redundant.


i know that's why komo's reaction was indifference. but then we all quoted her.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

enfield said:


> the OP is not doing that! he just wants nice relationship things you know like hugs. but haha okay i see. and i know relative to other ppl with SAD it is nothing abnormal. if we only compared ourselves to the SAS population there would be a lot less complaining. but real life isn't like SAS so obviously that's not easy.
> 
> anyway it's different i think when it comes from a feeling place rather than a 'i'm so behind in my life, omg, i do not have what i need / am supposed to have' place.


Maybe cause I'm not romantic, I never thought about how I had never held a guy's hand or hugged/cuddle someone. I also did not go to high school, so I was not exposed to normal culture/indoctrination. And the internet did not exist at that time. I knew I was bored with my life and I did want to get laid.



BTW said:


> What would you count 'drastic action' as?


Joining a dating site and going to clubs/bars. If that doesn't work, then figure out what it is about you that could be improved on.

Personally, I moved to Japan 3 months before turning 20 and started going to bars weekly.


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## Secretaz (Sep 10, 2011)

Me :cry no one is interested in me.


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## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

Secretaz said:


> Me :cry no one is interested in me.


:rub


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## enfield (Sep 4, 2010)

komorikun said:


> Maybe cause I'm not romanti,c I never thought about how I had never held a guy's hand or hugged/cuddle someone. I also did not go to high school, so I was not exposed to normal culture/indoctrination. And the internet did not exist at that time. I knew I was bored with my life and I did want to get laid.


i probably underestimate the culture / indoctrination aspect. i think loneliness is a large component of it though. and there is a lot of variance in that and how people end up coping with it given the same degree of social isolation.


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

*raises hand*


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## Daniel C (Apr 17, 2012)

I've never come any further than a cuddle and a dance. But it's still something I guess...


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## AxeDroid (Jan 11, 2013)

Yeap.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

Me.


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## BrookeHannigan (Mar 29, 2012)

komorikun said:


> I don't recall ever obsessing over being a virgin or anything. And besides lots of people don't start dating till their early 20s, especially those with social anxiety. I'd say it's time to get worried and take drastic action if you haven't started dating by age 23.


Lol 23 is also early 20s right,
Besides still very young most 23 year olds i know are single your acting like 23 is ****ing 80 lol


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

Daniel C said:


> I've never come any further than a cuddle and a dance. But it's still something I guess...


I assumed a lot of guys have danced with a girl at a school dance, but how do you end up cuddling with a girl who isn't your girlfriend? Do you mind sharing that information?


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

BrookeHannigan said:


> Lol 23 is also early 20s right,
> Besides still very young most 23 year olds i know are single your acting like 23 is ****ing 80 lol


I did say 21 was too young to whine about having not dated. On this forum I see 18 and 19 year olds say "oh I'm never going to meet anyone...." :roll

So what age would you say is time to take drastic action?


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## munir (Jun 1, 2012)

Elad said:


>


:haha


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## Daniel C (Apr 17, 2012)

SilentLuke said:


> I assumed a lot of guys have danced with a girl at a school dance, but how do you end up cuddling with a girl who isn't your girlfriend? Do you mind sharing that information?


Haha, well, it was more like they were cuddling me. Somehow these girls liked to cuddle me to see how I reacted. So I don't think it should be taken too seriously. But still. :b


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## Mourn4UrSelf (Nov 2, 2012)

I've held hands but that's about it. 
I don't expect to do any of the other things you've listed within my lifetime.

Forever alone </3


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## Izzy as pie (Sep 1, 2010)

At first I was resigned to never being with anyone, too. But these days if even a pillow rests against my back I begin to wish it was a guy. Kinda pathetic, eh? 

Keeping busy is a healthy alternative to lovesickness.


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

komorikun said:


> Isn't 21 a little young to be complaining about this?


After college, not a whole lot can happen if you aren't in a big city where you can meet specific subsets of people, or in a small town where you know everyone and the only other people are an hour away... It isn't all that good in the medium sized cities where there is always someone better than you, but everyone just keeps to themselves as well when they are out.

And no, as a default, I think 20 is when people should start working on it or getting professional help. If you wait too long, it becomes harder to overcome and the girls you do meet if your first relationship doesn't work will have way higher expectations than what you know.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Classified said:


> After college, not a whole lot can happen if you aren't in a big city where you can meet specific subsets of people, or in a small town where you know everyone and the only other people are an hour away... It isn't all that good in the medium sized cities where there is always someone better than you, but everyone just keeps to themselves as well when they are out.
> 
> And no, as a default, I think 20 is when people should start working on it or getting professional help. If you wait too long, it becomes harder to overcome and the girls you do meet if your first relationship doesn't work will have way higher expectations than what you know.


But the vast majority of people do live in a city or a suburb of one. How small of a city are you talking about? I still think 20 is premature since I've read of many people on this board getting their first bf/gf in their early 20s.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rural_area#United_States


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

I think a lot depends on what city it is. Do young people leave or is it a city they want to go to? Plus the ratio of single available women to the number of men is an important number...

I thought the city I lived by was in the top 100 in terms of population size, but it isn't even close. But it is still too big to run into the same people more than once a week.


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

Me, and I don't rally care either.


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## mysterioussoul (Jul 17, 2010)

I've never had a girlfriend and haven't done any of the above save for when this guy I met at a bar/club kissed me a few years ago. It wasn't pleasant but at least I experienced it?


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## jrocket (Apr 19, 2011)

I am 26 years old and I am still a virgin and I have never had a boyfriend . Men make me nervous. I don't know if I will every feel comfortable around men.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Classified said:


> I think a lot depends on what city it is. Do young people leave or is it a city they want to go to? Plus the ratio of single available women to the number of men is an important number...
> 
> I thought the city I lived by was in the top 100 in terms of population size, but it isn't even close. But it is still too big to run into the same people more than once a week.


Did you see this article?

http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/ar...thing-that-might-really-hurt-monogamy/266970/


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

jrocket said:


> I am 26 years old and I am still a virgin and I have never had a boyfriend . *Men make me nervous. I don't know if I will every feel comfortable around men*.










Hi..........


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## Raphael200 (Aug 18, 2012)

Me who is here .

Cyber hugs do not count.....


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## Anxietyriddled (Jan 5, 2013)

24 Never had a female friend or kissed. Never got a girl's number. Extremely nervous and panic attacks in big crowds or loud high energy places. Scared to talk to people. Don't know what to say. Very timid. Can no one help me out at all. How do I get a girlfriend with no friends and no job? and no experience? What do I tell women I meet? The truth? Lie my *** off? I make money from other things but my future doesn't look bright or exciting at all. What should I do? I'm extremely worried, terribly lonely and sexually frustrated.


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## Picturesque (Jan 13, 2013)

Well, I hug my dog daily..


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## BillDauterive (Oct 24, 2012)

Going to be 26 in a few months. Never did any of those things. :um:no:afr
I wish I could be asexual. I want to permanently remove my urges and desires for sex and also relationships. I want to be content even if I never do any of those things for the rest of my life. They being unfulfilled are just burning me up from the inside.


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## loneranger (Dec 29, 2012)

Mostly hugs.


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## NoHeart (May 5, 2012)

I have never had a relationship, I've never kissed a girl that wasn't my mother, I've sorta been on 2 dates ( I don't really know if one of them counted as a date, maybe it did ), I've been hugged by one girl who was also not my mother, I've never cuddled with anyone or held someone's hand and I have never danced with someone else who wasn't family or friend.


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## T-Bone (Oct 1, 2010)

DANCE?! :lol Am i supposed to care if i've never danced with a girl? That **** ain't necessary. I've never even danced by myself and i'm just fine with that. 
I've done all those other things though.


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## NoHeart (May 5, 2012)

SomebodyWakeME said:


> DANCE?! :lol Am i supposed to care if i've never danced with a girl? That **** ain't necessary. I've never even danced by myself and i'm just fine with that.
> I've done all those other things though.


Get your groove on! :clap


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## Remnant of Dawn (Feb 22, 2012)

Nope, never done any of those things...

Sad part is I've had opportunities to engage in those activities (except maybe sex) in the past and ignored them/made them go away because of crippling anxiety.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

I've done all of those things. I'm just extremely wary when it comes to dancing and sex is all <.<;;


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## Spritz11 (Jan 8, 2013)

I think I'm going to have to move in to an ugly home -.-


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## panda67 (Jun 21, 2012)

nobody finds me interesting ):


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## vancouver (Apr 7, 2012)

Does line-dancing in gym class count?


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## Soilwork (May 14, 2012)

Well I have hugged one girl but that's it.


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## steve224 (Jan 25, 2013)

never a gf done everything else though


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## Kanova (Dec 17, 2012)

Forever a scone.


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## Mattsy94 (Feb 11, 2013)

I have hugged twice but it was in an awkward friend-zoning matter so it didn't matter really. I have done none of the other stuff.


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## apx24 (Jan 31, 2012)

I've hugged a female in a platonic way before but that's it.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

Hugging and dancing but that's it.


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## saya2077 (Oct 6, 2013)

20 and not a thing, unless you count drunk people forcing it on me.


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## Kanova (Dec 17, 2012)

Kanova said:


> Forever a scone.


Holy **** bud, 2 years ago you sucked. I should travel back in time and kick your ****ing ***. What a *****, I hope you die. Oh wait. Can I change my answer to "yes" in this necro thread?


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## Wylini (Mar 23, 2015)

Nope. Forever alone 

Wow, 50/50 results so far.


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## moory (May 26, 2015)

Besides of dancing, and hugging none of them.


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## tngrn (Nov 4, 2013)

I've been hugged plenty of times in the past (it's not fun being hugged multiple times in one day), and I danced with a girl once (it was extremely awkward, I didn't know what I was doing, and it only lasted 15 seconds). Ahhh, middle school...


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Hmmm.....the counting is about even.


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## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

with girls / women in the past.

cuddle .. yes
hug..... yes
hand held.... yes... at school dances. I got told I was a good dancer  ( it was waltzy) 
dance... yes 

talking and making good conversation / laugh... yes..

Kiss... yes. to some girl i happened to fancy at a party some years ago. ... it was very nice. she was really nice, but I think she may have been there with someone  never saw her again. 

flirting by talking... yes... school crush 

Exchange of romantic sentiments and acceptance..... yes... but over a long distance . 

at least its something I suppose.


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## slyfox (Nov 18, 2007)

Now I've done most of those things, but hadn't done any of them when I joined the site. Wasn't in my first and only relationship until I was 23. Used to think I would never meet anyone


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## LookOutTheWindow (May 15, 2015)

Does internet relationship count? They do don't they? No...?

Well in that case I haven't been in a relationship.

I hugged a girl once, like four years ago, but that's because I bought her a coke.

I danced with one when I was eight, or something.

Watched lots of porn though.


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## indiscipline (May 24, 2015)

Upp med hakan.  

(up with chin)


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## LookOutTheWindow (May 15, 2015)

indiscipline said:


> Upp med hakan.
> 
> (up with chin)


Haha, jag ska försöka. (Haha, I'll try.) :laugh:


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

*posting to be the third Swede in a row*


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## Steinerz (Jul 15, 2013)

Here I am, forever al0ne


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## indiscipline (May 24, 2015)

It's funny in Sweden, folks. promise.


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## indiscipline (May 24, 2015)

(chinup)

(funny)


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## AllieG (Feb 20, 2014)

I mean I suppose I have hugged one or 2 times before but never in a romantic sense so I am going with forever alone lawl.


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## Memories of Silence (May 15, 2015)

I would vote _No_, but I had a boyfriend once, online. Only for about a month, and he was from a different country.


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## SD92 (Nov 9, 2013)

None of those things apart from hold hand and hug. In school once, a girl randomly hugged me for some reason. And I held a girls hand once when she challenged me to an arm wrestle. Not sure if that counts.


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## Cherrycarmine (Apr 19, 2015)

Never really cared about dating anyone until now.


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## Demure (Jul 14, 2014)

Secretaz said:


> Me :cry no one is interested in me.


Aw, but you don't know that for sure.

Anyway, I said no, but I really hope that doesn't mean I'm forever alone. I don't want a relationship until I'm a year or two into my 20's anyway.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

I don't have gram of f***s to give anymore.


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## Shadowboy (Jun 12, 2013)

No, nothing, none of them. Have always bottled up my emotions, which I am not even sure if exist in me.


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