# Harder to meet people in college?



## nkprasad12 (Aug 27, 2011)

I just finished my first semester, and I really got the feeling that in classes, it's always going to be a go to class, sit down, leave sort of thing... at least in high school I was somewhat forced to talk to people. I'm having a harder time making friends, and now that the semester's over I've only really made one friend that would qualify as somewhat close. Anyone else?


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

In college, I was forced to talk to people. You do a lot of group work in college. It sucks because some people are f*ckin irresponsible. I met so many rude people in college. I just hated my life back then. I'm glad I'm away from those bitter human beings. Sorry for venting on your post.


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## nkprasad12 (Aug 27, 2011)

Paloma M said:


> In college, I was forced to talk to people. You do a lot of group work in college. It sucks because some people are f*ckin irresponsible. I met so many rude people in college. I just hated my life back then. I'm glad I'm away from those bitter human beings. Sorry for venting on your post.


Interesting perspective: maybe it depends on majors? I'm in a Computer Science/Math, so a lot of the work is just sit on my laptop/desk and solve problems. On one hand, I'd like group work just so I can talk to people, but then I've had enough experience with bad partners in high school. I was in a history class this semester where we had this group essay with 4 people. Most of my partners were good, but there was this one dumbass who literally put in half a page with no citations.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

nkprasad12 said:


> Interesting perspective: maybe it depends on majors? I'm in a Computer Science/Math, so a lot of the work is just sit on my laptop/desk and solve problems. On one hand, I'd like group work just so I can talk to people, but then I've had enough experience with bad partners in high school. I was in a history class this semester where we had this group essay with 4 people. Most of my partners were good, but there was this one dumbass who literally put in half a page with no citations.


I was in Culinary for one year. We had to cook in groups. It sucked because they wouldn't let me do anything and the irresponsibility incident happened when I was taking a speech class. My partner and I had a presentation to work on and present in a week. Turns out she was out of town and she never told me. This is my reason for dreading group work. Yeah, there's always that one person that doesn't do anything. I make sure that doesn't happen and I give them work to do. Haha That just made me sound like a b*tch.


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## Zil (Feb 5, 2011)

nkprasad12 said:


> I just finished my first semester, and I really got the feeling that in classes, it's always going to be a go to class, sit down, leave sort of thing... at least in high school I was somewhat forced to talk to people. I'm having a harder time making friends, and now that the semester's over I've only really made one friend that would qualify as somewhat close. Anyone else?


I finished college a year ago. I had the exact same perception as you did(Go to a class, listen to it and then leave). I was in CS so it wasn't exactly group-friendly, most of the work was done alone. I met some good people, but I can't consider them friends. People just have different priorities at that age...

It's funny because I truly believe some of them acted as if they were too busy for friendship, but that deep down they were just as alone as I was.

If you really want to find somewhere to belong during college join a club that does stuff. I took the poor choice of going to the gym which is a pretty solitary activity.

@Paloma, I can totally relate. I was lucky in college, but now in Uni I constantly get matched with complete tards. They either don't care about the class or hope some other team member will get the job done. The problem is, at this level the work is built with team effort in mind. Which in turn means that doing them alone is almost impossible if you have other classes. I always act as the group leader to avoid problematic situations, I take care of reading what's to be done and tell everyone what has to be done and when it has to be finished. It's troublesome...


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## anxious dreamer (Dec 23, 2012)

Yes, it's harder to meet people. But I feel like it's also more acceptable to be a loner. People may not even notice you have no friends, unlike in high school where you might become the subject of teasing. This is one reason I enjoy college more than high school.


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## Marlon (Jun 27, 2011)

I've attended two different universities because I transferred. The first one I lived at home and met 0 people in 2 years, the second one I *am* living on campus and have met tons of people in 1 semester.

It really depends on whether you live on campus or not... sucks to say, but true.


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## Wurli (Sep 15, 2012)

Marlon said:


> I've attended two different universities because I transferred. The first one I lived at home and met 0 people in 2 years, the second one I *am* living on campus and have met tons of people in 1 semester.
> 
> It really depends on whether you live on campus or not... sucks to say, but true.


Totally agree with you on this.


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## smartyx101 (Oct 24, 2012)

I've made friends easier at college because 1) I have three friends here that are from high school, so I feel more comfortable, 2) two of those friends at in my major (and one rooms with me), so we have made friends with each other, and 3) I'm majoring in music, so the community is small and we see each other every day in classes. I'm also majoring in math. If I was just a math major and I went to a school on my own, I could guarantee that I'd have a very hard time making friends. It would have been horrible, a complete setback for me. 

So yeah, it does seem harder. I'm just thankful to be in the situation that makes it easy for me.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

It's almost impossible to make friends in classes. The vast majority of the friends i've made in college have been from living in the dorms the first two years or from the clubs I joined.


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## No more Elysium (Oct 13, 2012)

My idea is the exact opposite, as I found it very easy to make friends in college. Perhaps that's due to my subject (Environmental Sciences), which only has 25 people, so you get to know those really well. But most students have their own place here, which means they have to cook every evening, so it's very convenient to invite others. Besides that, here I have some massive groupwork projects (3 months of spending 4 hours a day with each other), so you really get to know people well during that.

One final note, perhaps that's also related to the university I study at, but the students seem very relaxed, friendly, and a lot of them are even more shy than I am.


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## Archaeron (Dec 16, 2012)

I actually found it much easier to make friends during the first 2 weeks of college. Everyone talks to everyone because nobody has real friends then. But after 2 weeks they got to know me, that I'm a very quiet boy and never know what to say. Then they kinda ignored me until now, probably for the rest of the year too. If you don't **** up during the first weeks then you're settled I think. Next year another try for me haha.


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## SnowSunRainClouds (Dec 3, 2012)

I too have just finished my first semester. I agree that it's mostly a go to your lecture, study, go home after the end of your last lecture, study, and then sleep kind of environment. (Yes I know people do more than study, sleep, and go to class)

I find it very, very hard to make friends. Either you hang out with high school friends or you hang out with dorm mates. I went into university with no good friends. The good friends I have either failed high school (due to a credit error by the teacher), went to Community College, are still in high school, or just lost touch. (More like one of each...)

The only 'friend' I made in university was a girl in my history class. I doubt that I'll be talking to her in four months because I won't ever actually see her. Plus that class was the only one where we had to regularly do group discussion. It made me anxious as h**l, but I did meet someone pretty cool. 

I joined a club, but I don't really like most of the people in it. I like maybe three or four people in a club that has around thirty to forty members. They're just... I dunno. Snobby maybe? A lot of the club members are in engineering, and that's the snobbiest faculty in my university. They also tend to bring in room mates or high school friends. So most people already knew each other and stuff and aren't very friendly. 

It's just hard to break into any social circle, particularly when you were only friends with the outcasts of high school (and junior high). By this time, everyone is so tight with their circle. 

I wish I could be away from home for university. I really, really do wish that. I'd honestly transfer in a heartbeat if I could, but my parents would be livid, and I just can't afford it now.  

Maybe it will be different next semester.


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## sunrisesunset2 (Sep 18, 2011)

Having same problem.
The dorm I live in had an early orientation so I had so many opportunities to make lots of friends and unfortunately squandered so many by talking to the same 2 or 3 people the entire time.
They found it easier to make friends later, but for me it was more difficult, so I joined a lot of clubs and a few ( like the Astronomy club) are really good for people like me since the people there act mostly the same as I do and I'm less afraid to approach them.

So my advice, join clubs with people who you will feel okay talking to even if they do not initiate it.

I did however, make a couple of friends in my classes this semester, but not the lasting type, like the ones in my dorm.
So next semester, going to be friendly and talk to people in my classes but focus more on the clubs i go to and the on campus concerts i go to, to meet people, as well as any events in the dorm.

It is just annoying that if you don't act fast when people are meeting each other you lose out, but with some effort you can get to a point that doesn't suck.


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## JohnWalnut (May 2, 2012)

It's all about campus and extracurricular activities. Class is completely useless for making friends.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I never really made any friend going to city college or university. I got some acquaintances or almost friends in my Japanese classes since we have something in common and it's a rather social subject. In my other classes not really. My major is accounting and it's a huge major. So many people major in business, so you are not with the same people in each class. Same with general ed. Plus people studying business are really not all that into the subject. They just want a job and it is sort of a default major. So there is nothing to commune/commiserate over....other than talk of how to get a job after graduating. There are very few group projects. 

My old roommate who is majoring in interior design already has a posse. She was going out drinking (or hanging out at each others houses) with her project's group member every week. It is a small major so they are in almost all the same classes. And that project was worth like 70% of their grade.

Plus my uni is a commuter university. Very few people live on campus.


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## psychofanatic (Dec 17, 2012)

Depends on whether you actually mean university, or an actual college. I see that you're in the States and I know that going to college can mean going to university.

University is not that great for meeting people especially if you have social anxiety. In college (vocational/community), class sizes are small and there's typically a lot of group work. Through this, you're forced to meet people and more often than not, your group members will be good people and you'll eventually become friends with them. This happened to me simply because I was forced to interact. If college for me was like university, I wouldn't have talked to a single person.


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## Paranoid of Spies (Nov 3, 2011)

When I was in university, it was pretty much individual work and like many people the routine of going to school, sitting in lecture, then leaving for a study area or library before next class and if there was no next class, then I just went home. I barely knew anyone, only a couple of acquaintances. 

However, since I went back to school in a College, we do a ton of group work which is good for socializing (but like someone said can suck if you have people that don't do their work, or give a crap about it) and I have made 4 or 5 friends and occasionally talk to a dozen other people. During periods between class, usually I sit alone as I have done in university, but sometimes I sit with people I know and we do homework or talk together.


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## QuietCatLover (Dec 21, 2012)

It's really hard to make friends in college. it's not easy. I'm more than half way through and still haven't figured it out.


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## vanishingpt (Mar 9, 2012)

Yeah I think it can be more difficult making friends in college. Especially if you have giant lecture classes with 100+ people. You don't really get time to socialize as the Professor is always talking, and people are focused on taking notes and such.

Though I guess it depends on what kind of classes you have. The ones I'm in are pretty small (30 people is considered too much LOL, I had a class of 6 people once which was nice). It becomes easy to make friends when you're in smaller classes that are project based because then you get work periods and the opportunity to discuss/socialize with other students.

I've also had friends from the same high school attend the same University as me, and even then it's kind of hard to see them. Schedules are different and sometimes it's just inconvenient meeting up when there's so much going on.


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## ImAlwaysAnxious (Dec 30, 2012)

I agree with a lot of you. I have made way more friends from meeting them in the dorms as opposed to making friends from classes. In class, people tend to be more isolated because we're all there to get work done. In the dorms, it's more relaxed and feels closer to home than classrooms. But you could try making friends from classes...I've made a few, but those friendships never blossomed as my dorm friendships have. It takes a lot more effort and time, and if you're meeting someone from class, you have to put in more effort to get to hanging out outside of class. In the dorms, I can just literally knock on someone's door and we can decide to go to the dining hall and have a meal together, or watch an episode of a TV show together. It's simpler. 
Apart from classes and dorms, I say you would benefit from joining a club if you want to make friends. Since you joined a club with a particular interest, you could spark a conversation that might lead to a friendship...Maybe even try a fraternity/sorority, especially academic ones? For people with SA, I supposed it'd be difficult to get along with people in a social fraternity/sorority. I'm in an academic frat, so I don't get the same pressure that social frats get. I get to do my own thing without feeling pressure to conform with the other members or to feel an urge to be liked by my "sisters."


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

I hadn't made any friends in college, no. It's a community college with small classes, so some people here are assuming it's easier to make friends with that - totally not the case. Even in small classes, everyone sits down for the class and then leaves. There is no socializing. 

I've often said it, that my college is extremely individualistic. There is a huge amount of people who are walking around and sitting alone, usually with their laptops. With myself being a loner, I love it, as I blend right in. Even when I used to sit alone in the gardens every day in spring, there were always a few others there sitting alone as well - it was an area of the campus for those that don't want to be disturbed and I definitely wasn't the only one who sought it out. 

So, with the nature of my college being that way - it's just about impossible to make any friends. I only went out with one person from one of my classes before, and that was during a manic episode where I appeared to be the life of the party. But apart from that rare incident - there is no such thing as socializing with those you don't know. Which is fine for me most of the time, since I'm not looking for friends. But if I were it certainly wouldn't be the environment to do so..


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## SlothsRcool808 (Jan 1, 2013)

I just finished my first semester at college. I made a few friends. No one that I could call a "close friend" but people that I can hang out with outside of class. I think it doesn't help that I am still living at home. There really isn't anyway of making friends in class, especially if your in a class of a 100+ people. 

My plan for next semester is to join some school clubs, maybe talk to the people in the library more, do some kind of sport thing. Im still living at home, so I just go to make the best out of what I got.

Good luck guys! I think we can all make friends.


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## Mani14 (Oct 23, 2012)

i find it much harder to meet people in college than high school. in college it's like you're just totally on your own. i go to a community college and have had no luck with friends so far and it really frustrates me because it was difficult for me to even make friends in high school but somehow i still managed to and now it's just even more difficult.


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## Cnidaria (Dec 13, 2012)

So far I've found it much easier to make friends in university, but I think that a part of that has to do with the fact that my university has a collegiate system, so at times it's more like being in a small school. I haven't really made any friends outside of my college though, I've started to chat to some of the other people doing my subject, in praticals and things, but people tend to stick with their college groups.


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