# I feel like I'm a bad person.



## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

I rarely trust people and hardly make a real effort to connect, despite all this pushing myself to be more amicable, doesn't seem to ever be enough.

People are intuitive and sense this of me, am I bad person? I've never committed any crimes or lied to people yet my apathy and indifference certainly doesn't make me a genuine ally does it?

How do I warm up to people truly to the point I actually have real bonds that last, new people show up and make friends on a mere whim. I've known the same people for years and I still feel like an outsider. I somehow dropped the ball when socializing with them... I don't know.


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## mattmc (Jun 27, 2013)

You're not a bad person and I wouldn't consider that genuine apathy. Apathy is when you could easily do something, like engage people socially, but you don't because you choose not to care. Apathy isn't struggling with something like socializing to the point where it's hard to invest yourself because you're afraid it won't work out. That's not at all the same thing IMO.

Even my first example of what apathy is often just translates into being too tired to have the energy to socialize. A lot of people who are socially capable get tired of being "on" all the time. That's not really apathy either. Apathy is generally misused because people mean they have difficulty with something but do care or that they would care but they're too exhausted or depressed to be able too.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

I get what you're conveying here, but to the outward eye, other people can't tell the difference, can they?--It all falls ultimately up to the person in question to push through the nervousness. People say if you really genuinely wanted something, you'd force yourself to fight through the pain and learn, obviously if they lack the spirit to do so, then other people can consider that as simply not trying hard enough, thus lacks motivation. :frown2:


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## Mattsy94 (Feb 11, 2013)

I feel like a bad person too. Like you I don't trust people very much either due to past bad experiences. I feel like I'm just a blight on the world who's mooching off my parents. People look at me and form judgements over me because I'm depressed and never look happy. I'm always angry at everything and the slightest thing can set me off. I feel like people avoid me and I've lost friends because of this. It would be better if I just didn't exist...


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