# Asperger's



## antonina (Oct 25, 2008)

Is there anyone on here with Asperger's? I would like to know what the relationship between Asperger's and social anxiety disorder is? I would like to know how one would differentiate between these two disorders. I also think there is probably overlap. Asperger's causes people to fail in social situations. It would be important to know if it is just anxiety or if this is caused by neurological differences. For example, I don't find the average things humorous, I get overstimulated easily, and I like being alone. However, I do want more social connections too. I also could be a Highly Sensitive Person according to Elaine Aron. The main thing is even positive experiences in social situations seem to drain me and I long to be alone afterwards. I wonder if it is worthwhile to try to pinpoint what the exact problem is. I have Kaiser insurance and they don't want to do anything but offer more and more antidepressants. They also have exposure therapy classes, however if I go ahead and do the exercises and fail at them because I am very unique (Asperger's or HSP), then I think it would be important to find out what the problem is. I am also really sick of having to fit in. I think our society needs to have more acceptance of neurological diversity (sas, depression, bipolar, adhd, nld, asperger's, etc...
Why can't people be more accepting of people who are different? As long as you are not hurting anyone, why can't it be acceptable to be different? I don't think some of these therapists understand how painful this whole process is. Anyway, I am trying to find out more about Asperger's and HSP.


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## yakubu (Nov 4, 2008)

antonina said:


> Is there anyone on here with Asperger's? I would like to know what the relationship between Asperger's and social anxiety disorder is? I would like to know how one would differentiate between these two disorders. I also think there is probably overlap. Asperger's causes people to fail in social situations. It would be important to know if it is just anxiety or if this is caused by neurological differences. For example, I don't find the average things humorous, I get overstimulated easily, and I like being alone. However, I do want more social connections too. I also could be a Highly Sensitive Person according to Elaine Aron. The main thing is even positive experiences in social situations seem to drain me and I long to be alone afterwards. I wonder if it is worthwhile to try to pinpoint what the exact problem is. I have Kaiser insurance and they don't want to do anything but offer more and more antidepressants. They also have exposure therapy classes, however if I go ahead and do the exercises and fail at them because I am very unique (Asperger's or HSP), then I think it would be important to find out what the problem is. I am also really sick of having to fit in. I think our society needs to have more acceptance of neurological diversity (sas, depression, bipolar, adhd, nld, asperger's, etc...
> Why can't people be more accepting of people who are different? As long as you are not hurting anyone, why can't it be acceptable to be different? I don't think some of these therapists understand how painful this whole process is. Anyway, I am trying to find out more about Asperger's and HSP.


i think asperges is more of a learning difficulties thing. these people actaully have problems comunicating

social phobic dont have problems with actually being ABLE to communicate, they just find it extremely hard cos they feel so anxious.

ive been in situations before were i found it so hard to communicate that i thought i had aspergers but ive just come to the conclusion that its the anxiety


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## copper (Nov 10, 2003)

yakubu said:


> i think asperges is more of a learning difficulties thing. these people actaully have problems comunicating
> 
> social phobic dont have problems with actually being ABLE to communicate, they just find it extremely hard cos they feel so anxious.
> 
> ive been in situations before were i found it so hard to communicate that i thought i had aspergers but ive just come to the conclusion that its the anxiety


They also can't recognize the different facial expressions, and they tend to have narrow interests. I deal with a couple of clients that have Aspergers at work. I have one that has interests in bears and church. He will only talk about those things constantly. He also gets these obsessions that really cause him lots of anxiety.


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## antonina (Oct 25, 2008)

*asperger's*

What about very mild forms of asperger's? I have heard that the musicians Gary Numan, Ladyhawk, and the lead singer of the Vines have Asperger's. They obviously don't have these tendencies. Apparently they have mild forms of it. Obviously I don't have the severe form, but I can be obsessive about some things. For example, I am really into fantasy and science fiction. If I like an author I try to get every book by that author. I can get obsessive about things.

I just wonder because sometimes I make these social faux paus like I forget to introduce people or I talk too long. I may say things at the wrong time.

However, I do have empathy and people have told me that I am very kind. I just am wondering what is causing it though. I wonder why I do such stupid things sometimes. I mean I wonder if it is worth being evaluated just to know for sure.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

antonina said:


> I would like to know what the relationship between Asperger's and social anxiety disorder is? I would like to know how one would differentiate between these two disorders. I also think there is probably overlap. Asperger's causes people to fail in social situations. It would be important to know if it is just anxiety or if this is caused by neurological differences.


I would also like to know. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if there are any ways to test it. I wish I knew if it's just social anxiety with me or there's some other issue in addition to it underneath.


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## MissMay1977 (Oct 25, 2008)

I don't know but books about that are right next to the books about bipolar at the library lol


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## Lirael (Jan 6, 2009)

I saw this documentary on PBS about this guy that had it. It freaked me out a little that I could relate to him. It is hard to know what behaviors might be a consequence of SA (and the general anxiety which i have a huge amount of) or if the SA is possibly a a consequence of aspergers.


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## nightwalker (Nov 20, 2008)

Asperger's is a kind of autism.. 

Coincidentally, my chem teacher was talking about them today.


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## livinginfear (Jan 31, 2009)

Asperger's is similar to high-functioning autism, which my son has. I have a social anxiety disorder, which is completely different, though when my son was first diagnosed, and I began reading up on autism, I have to admit I fit quite a lot of the criteria myself! My son's adopted so there's no genetics at play here. My son has been slow to pick up on social cues and nonverbal communication, that kind of thing, which makes him a little behind socially. There's so much communication that goes on that is unspoken, and people expect others to pick up on it all. He may not pick up on others' disapproving looks for instance, and I, on the other hand, would be overly sensitive to that. He didn't speak until he was four and that was with early intervention supports. As a kid (and an adult for that matter :O) , I wouldn't speak at school, but it was out of terror, my son was actually unable to speak, I chose not to. Social anxiety, at least for me, is more of an irrational fear of being judged by others that can lead to absolute panic in what would be every day circumstances for most people. It's not rational even to me, but feels absolutely beyond my control. My son actually does better than me socially in some respects. It's like he's lacking a bit of awareness as to what others may be thinking and this may cause him problems socially, and I'm sort of the opposite, hypervigilant and overly concerned about what others may be thinking, which causes me problems socially.


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## kev (Jan 28, 2005)

You could have aspergers. It occurs on a spectrum so don't compare yourself to extreme examples that you might find on tv and in magazines. My parents and my therapist think I have it but I don't like the label so I don't use it. It's a personal choice whether you identify yourself as having AS or not. 

The fact is it is not a disorder, it's a difference in development and how you perceive the world. Because people aren't always tolerant of differences, it can lead to secondary problems like depression and anger. It usually occurs with anxiety in social situations, and sometimes other disorders like adhd or ocd. So while aspergers isn't disabling in itself, it often occurs with other problems that are disabling, especially when the wrong medications are being used or the wrong approach to therapy is being used (because the therapist assumes the patient is just like any other person).

You can't always pick people with autism out of a crowd (you don't have to be a "freak"). Sometimes the symptoms are subtle especially at the high functioning end.


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## beautibelle (Dec 13, 2008)

Extremely mild forms of Asperger's mimic social anxiety disorder but the causes are completely different. In general, people with Asperger's have an impared ability to pick up other people's feelings and to see things from other people's views. So sometimes people with Aspergers come off as uncaring, sarcastic or too blunt in social situations. People with social phobia often come off that way too but the cause is due more to a lack of practice with social situations. While with Aspergers, it's due to a neurological cause.


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## thisisfraser (Feb 2, 2009)

I've often wondered the same thing too. Mostly because of the very intense level of focus I am capable of and the SA that comes with being around people. 

I think a lot of why I misunderstand things or miss subtlety is because a) I'm male and males are far from subtle creatures and b) my brain is so stuck in anxiety mode that things don't always click. I find once I'm able to relax myself in social situations I rarely miss out on anything. I sometimes need a firm direct answer from people but only when my SA is kicking in.

I do know a guy who has Asperger's and for the few things I have in common with him there are plenty of things I don't have in common with him. Like the fact that I don't show up to a party wearing a costume when it's not halloween. 

The idea of mild autism could be true and I'm curious to know if you're right.


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## copper (Nov 10, 2003)

beautibelle said:


> Extremely mild forms of Asperger's mimic social anxiety disorder but the causes are completely different. In general, people with Asperger's have an impared ability to pick up other people's feelings and to see things from other people's views. So sometimes people with Aspergers come off as uncaring, sarcastic or too blunt in social situations. People with social phobia often come off that way too but the cause is due more to a lack of practice with social situations. While with Aspergers, it's due to a neurological cause.


I deal with a client in one of the group homes I deal with that is very sarcastic. Sometimes when you say something to him he will give you this dirty look. We had to switch team leaders of the house because the team leader when he came didn't like him, and he picked up on it. You had to hear the kind of things he called her.


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## dontcare (Oct 6, 2008)

Someone posted an Asperger's test on the board, I got a high score and it shook me up a little. But Dr. Richards (of audio series fame) explains the difference:
http://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/asperger.html
So I'm pretty sure I have only SAD. If I do have Asperger's, it's probably too minor to really matter, not even worth looking into.


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## Taboo710 (Feb 15, 2009)

I'm so glad I found this thread. I thought I was the only one who wondered about this. I used to be convinced that I had Asperger's until my therapist told me that I didn't. I had crippling social anxiety which sometimes made me act socially inept. When you're so preoccupied with making sure you don't get read the wrong way or making sure you don't read others the wrong way, sometimes you do those exact things. Sometimes when you're so scared people are going to think you're awkward or weird, you act awkward and weird. Let me ask you a question. You said you don't think the average things are funny. Are there any jokes or movies that you _do_ find humorous? Highly intelligent people sometimes have dry unconventional senses of humor.


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## Little Willow (Oct 26, 2008)

I have SA and Asberger's. The biggest difference would be that I don't recognize facial expressions or other people's feelings. I don't understand if someone's joking or being serious. I also can't make eye contact unless know the person extremely well (like my mother). Sometimes when I was little I wouldn't understand that other people had feelings. That sounds weird, but I just didn't get that other people felt things that were different than what I felt. It's difficult to live with, but I can function relatively normally. The other defining characteristic of Asberger's is physical awkwardness. I have practically no hand/eye coordination, and I've broken my wrist three times and sprained my knee twice. I also trip over my own feet every day and I walk into walls. I don't think of myself as having autism. I try and think of it as more of a personality trait.


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## Taboo710 (Feb 15, 2009)

Little Willow said:


> I have SA and Asberger's. The biggest difference would be that I don't recognize facial expressions or other people's feelings. I don't understand if someone's joking or being serious. I also can't make eye contact unless know the person extremely well (like my mother). Sometimes when I was little I wouldn't understand that other people had feelings. That sounds weird, but I just didn't get that other people felt things that were different than what I felt. It's difficult to live with, but I can function relatively normally. The other defining characteristic of Asberger's is physical awkwardness. I have practically no hand/eye coordination, and I've broken my wrist three times and sprained my knee twice. I also trip over my own feet every day and I walk into walls. I don't think of myself as having autism. I try and think of it as more of a personality trait.


so when you say you don't recognize facial expressions what do you mean? Do you get the basic ones like happy, sad and angry? or like, when you're watching a tv show can you tell when one character is jealous of another, or if they're nervous? sorry if im being too nosy im just curious to know more.


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## antonina (Oct 25, 2008)

Taboo710 said:


> I'm so glad I found this thread. I thought I was the only one who wondered about this. I used to be convinced that I had Asperger's until my therapist told me that I didn't. I had crippling social anxiety which sometimes made me act socially inept. When you're so preoccupied with making sure you don't get read the wrong way or making sure you don't read others the wrong way, sometimes you do those exact things. Sometimes when you're so scared people are going to think you're awkward or weird, you act awkward and weird. Let me ask you a question. You said you don't think the average things are funny. Are there any jokes or movies that you _do_ find humorous? Highly intelligent people sometimes have dry unconventional senses of humor.


I do find some things funny. I thought the Saturday night live impersonations of politicians were funny. Although this is visual versus just verbal jokes. In certain social situations where people are being very witty or making jokes I often don't get it. I think this makes people think I have no sense of humor or uncomfortable around me. I may get it later. It's possible I have some kind of language processing disorder. I also think I talk too long and wear out my welcome some times. I think maybe I'm obsessive compulsive. I see people looking at the clock and realize I better wrap it up. So there is some awareness but I don't know sometimes I'm just too obsessed. I also used to have a hard time in pe with baseball I never could seem to catch the ball. I have a lazy eye so I don't know if it was due to this. In basketball I was actually really good. So I don't know what the deal is.

When my father was young they thought he had autism way back then. He also is very obsessive compulsive and good with mechanical things. He excelled in his academic classes but often would have trouble relating to the people on the job. He also has obsessive interests and can tell you anything about plants. He also is oblivious to the feelings of others. You have to come out and tell him things directly several times before it registers. He also will sometimes talk to himself out loud. I think he probably really has it. So it is a concern to me that I may have some milder form of it and that that is what is wrecking havoc in my life. Either that or it was traumatic growing up with my father because he was so much in his own world. I really would like to figure out how to cope with these issues. Maybe I need to go to a support group for adult children of the mentally ill. My parents both have serious psychological issues and it really traumatized me and left me with a feeling of shame. I really think this is a big part of the social anxiety. I don't know how to overcome the shame. I always feel like a freak and that I have a lot to hide.


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## Hot Chocolate (Sep 29, 2008)

I don't know man, but when I went to this particular aspergers forum and read some of the posts there...I feel that I could relate better there than here.

They touch deeply on problems like communications with other people, why people react this way, speech problems, laughing inappropriately, obsessions, stimming...I don't know why but I actually understood where they are coming from.

I went to this psychiatrist and he diagnosed me as having SA and some personality disorder. I told him that I've got childhood asthma and was in and out of the hospital often and I remembered that before or after this, I was always so painfully shy and was often throwing huge tantrums in public.

But I don't know if I should get an official diagnose though.


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## darkangel33 (Feb 25, 2009)

*Aspergers*

I have a 15 year old son who has aspergers and social anxiety (along with mood disorder). I know with him it took a while to get a diagnosis, I would go to his doctors when he was little and try to explain things but they thought I was a nut... Then I switched his doc at age 11 and went in the first appointment completely ready sound "like a nut" and I explained the same things to him as I had to the other doc and he told me, I noticed it right away, no one ever said anything before. I wanted to cry. One thing that is an "asperger" quality is being very literal. My husband would tell my son to take his shoes upstairs and he would, and he would set them right on top of the stairs (not in his room where they were supposto be). Once when he was about 4 I said it was raining cats and dogs outside, he actually went to the window and looked. I strongly believe that the two diagnosis overlap in a big way. My son is 15 and just going to school is painful, he wont go out of the house unless I am with him. I have my own issues with anxiety so, I guess we just help each other cope in a way.


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## ohioisforloners (Jan 14, 2009)

I did not know much about Asperger's until I read this post and started to read up on it a bit.. WOW, I have never been diagnosed with AS, but uh... yeah, that's me. I am almost positive that I have some form of AS, and not as much SAD.

I am not constantly nervous, only in few situations. I am however, very sarcastic and come off as a non-caring individual. This usually scares most people away because they think that it is because I don't like them personally, but I assure them it's not. It really is not easy to socialize with most people my age, and I find myself almost avoidant of most situations that involve speaking or "small talk" just because I CAN'T do it. I just don't have anything interesting to talk about with the majority of people, therefor I try to just keep to myself and not ruin anyone's day. I often feel I am to blunt with some people, maybe not even realizing it at times. They must think im this depressed, insensitive idiot with "doom and gloom" in my mind at all times.


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## OrangeBlossom (Mar 2, 2009)

I was actually falsely diagnosed with asperger's when I was 16. It took 1 and 1/2 years to get rediagnosed as having social anxiety. You mentioned wanting to see a psychiatrist to diagnose you so you know for sure - if you do this, just make sure you don't go to a specialist, as they will be looking for asperger's. I don't think anyone who thinks they have asperger's should let it bother them because a diagnosis doesn't change who you are (well, sometimes it can - it certainly gave me an 'excuse' to stop struggling against being different which made a huge long-term difference in that it made my social anxiety worse). From your original post, you sound quite similar to me, and I know that I don't have it. However, I think everyone is supposed to be somewhere on the autistic spectrum, and everyone fits some descriptions/symptoms of asperger's. There really is a lot of overlap between SA and asperger's in symptoms but not in causation. I'd advise not to let it bother you or just not think about it at all (tricky, I know).


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## kb_101 (Apr 7, 2007)

As a young adult, my wife is currently on this Asperger's kick and is trying to tell me that most of our communication problems are because I have aspergers. She could of course be right. I do know that something is wrong though. When I was in highschool I my grades were either awesome or I was on the brink of failing or actually failing. When I went to college on an athletic scholarship, they provided me with an academic mentor, and sent someone to test me for like 3 hours using flash cards, asking a bunch of questions, etc. I will be seeing a therapist soon to get a real diagnosis. I did however go and take the asperger's test (http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html) and scored a 38, which means there is an 80% chance that I have it.

I tend to:

1) Not get jokes at all. I have to really really think hard to just to get the plot and after everyone is already done laughing, I may chuckle a little bit so I do not look to awkward. With story jokes especially, I tend to get lost after the 2nd sentence. I am totally on cloud 9 for the rest of the joke, story, or directions I am being given.

2) I have an EXTREMELY difficult time following verbal instructions which is currently why I am not working )=.

3) Most things just are not funny at all to me, even though other people are laughing. The only jokes that I really laugh at are jokes that I can relate to like from: Seinfeld, Office Space, American Pie, etc because I have been in those situations.

4) I do tend to go on and on about a particular subject that interests me, and there is not very many that do.

5) I find social spontaneity very very frustrating. If its Wednesday and my wife say oh "so and so is coming by tomorrow or the day after". I start to freak out inside. Especially if there is no exact time set.

6) One therapist said that I have PTSD and tend to misinterpret facial expressions as anger. This is very true. I myself tend to look angry, even though I am not at all, probably just frustrated.

7) I feel that I can read others facial expressions. But I do not feel the same way. I do not cry easily if at all when everyone else might. Or even laugh when everyone else might.

8) I take things very literally.

9) I cannot play sports that take to much coordination. It is just too difficult. Like basketball for instance.

10) I cannot think when working in groups like a project for example. Its only when I get some a lone time that I can begin to think about what is in front of me.

11) I will ace a test verbally. But fail the very same test if given to me on paper. It's really weird, because I cannot follow directions verbally.

12) I can get hyper-focused on a particular subject, to the point that distractions become extremely irritating. But then again, I am also easily distracted. I just depends on what I am doing.

13) I can go way off tangent when in a discussion and come right back to where I left off. Other people usually cannot follow me, and say "I tend to talk in circles".

14) I am extremely visual. Classes where they start off by talking about a particular peice of something like for a example a car part are very frustrating, because I need to see the big picture and how everything works as a whole.

15) Am not good with small details, another reason I am currently out of a job.

16) Always notice patterns in things that other people just do not get how I see that.

17) I actually have some social skills which I learned on my own through reading books, but the anxiety is still overwhelming at times, and not just that but there are times when I really do not want to be around anyone. And when I've been alone too long and/or I feel like I have accomplished enough, then it is okay for me to talk to the neighbors or family, etc.

18) I do not find it difficult to make new friends in the sense of making a new friend. But when it comes to trusting them, trying to read their intentions, then I tend not to make friends with them because I figure that I have better things to do.

19) Am a good diplomat, or at least I like to think so (=.

If I had to diagnose myself, I would say that I have a cocktail mix of: ADD, PTSD, SAD, and possibly Asperger's.

Although from my reading they did say that people with ADD or ADHD tend to be more social than anything else, so usually it a diagnoses for people with Apergers.

I think there is a huge difference between SAD and Aspergers. I think that Aspergers is an umbrella for SAD. So you could have SAD and not have Aspergers, but if you have Aspergers, then you probably have SAD. I think the PTSD part has to do with the abuse. Which a lot of Asperger children probably witness while growing up. Complex PTSD could probably be put under the umbrella of Aspergers as well. I the thing that differentiates Apergers from any other illness is the way their learning ability along with any physical characteristics that many Asperger children and adults tend to have. I do not have these physical symptoms and that is what makes me very skeptical as to whether or not I have this, but we'll see.

Does anyone else relate to the list of symptoms posted above?


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## Hot Chocolate (Sep 29, 2008)

^I can totally relate what you wrote especially about the difficulty to follow instructions, tend to talk in circles, obsessed with a certain subject, the mistaken facial expressions etc.

And I understand where you are coming from about having to see the big picture, because I don't like superficial understanding of a particular subject. I think this is why I don't understand something which is like so simple yet I made it so complicated?

And add to that, I had troubles communicating with people, in real life and even apparently online too.

Anyways, I do have a job but had a hard time going through it, that's why you'll see some of my topics here are mostly about my problems at work because I can't follow instructions well enough, is always anxious, is easily distracted and me and my colleagues' communications is always here and nowhere, which in turn frustrates them a little.


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## kb_101 (Apr 7, 2007)

Wow, I didn't actually think anyone was going to respond to my long winded post, but I am glad you did, thank you. I totally get everything you just said. When I was working, it was so tough because my boss would be giving me instructions and after like 15 seconds I would totally and involuntarily get a blank stare on my face and not hear a word that my boss was saying. It's like my internal tape recorder just shut off.



> I can totally relate what you wrote especially about the difficulty to follow instructions, tend to talk in circles, obsessed with a certain subject, the mistaken facial expressions etc.


This is just so dead on that I cannot actually believe there is someone else out there who struggles with the same things I do.



> And I understand where you are coming from about having to see the big picture, because I don't like superficial understanding of a particular subject. I think this is why I don't understand something which is like so simple yet I made it so complicated?


This is extremely frustrating. I have so much difficulty with this. In school they wanted to teach me about the different computer chips and etc without barely any understanding of how a computer works. I was like "what is the point?" Don't teach me something if I cannot apply it. Like today for example, they teach kids calculus, but the kids have no idea how, where, when, or why it can or should be used. Without this understanding, why would they want to learn about it.



> And add to that, I had troubles communicating with people, in real life and even apparently online too.


I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel like people think I'm from outer space or something when I try to communicate with them. It's like they have no idea what I am saying.



> Anyways, I do have a job but had a hard time going through it, that's why you'll see some of my topics here are mostly about my problems at work because I can't follow instructions well enough, is always anxious, is easily distracted and me and my colleagues' communications is always here and nowhere, which in turn frustrates them a little.


Wow, I really empathize with you here. I know how this feels. Communication is such an issue for me, that I prefer to do things on my own. In hopes of not sounding arrogant, a lot of times I feel like I can come up with better ideas than 6 people who are in a group combined. This is of course not always the case as there are some really smart people out there. The other thing that sucked was that most of my ideas were thrown out of the window either because it took me too long to explain it or because they just couldn't understand what I was saying.

I'm going to make an appointment to see someone soon. Hopefully things go well and I can get in early. Thanks for listening. Been wanting to get that out for 20 years.

I wish I could offer you some advice about the job scene. I'm in a learning mode myself and am lost on the communication side of things.

If anyone has been dealing with these issues as well, and especially if you have figured things out. Please let us know. Thanks.


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## GoldenPanther (Apr 7, 2010)

A few things I'd like to note regarding Aspergers - there's no issues associated with cognitive or linguistic development - one of the key differences between Aspergers and autism. In other words there are no learning disabilities involved.

Socially however, development is stunted. An Aspie (a term used by many with Aspergers as a casual reference) is likely to have difficulty with understanding and internalizing the emotions of people around them - this can manifest either as having no empathy (which is what people typically think of with Aspies) or as having a strong negative reaction to changes in the moods of those around them. For example an Aspie (as a child) with the latter issue might find him/herself frightened or worse on seeing the anger their parent is directing towards another - say a football game referee, perhaps fearing it is directed at them.

As for PTSD and its relationship, I'd have to say that it is not directly associated with Aspergers, except that some of the anxieties and OCD-like behaviors may be similar in outcome, but certainly not causation - PTSD is a result of traumatic experience, Aspergers is a result of a neurological difference.

Sorry for the ramble, I just had to address all that - as an Aspie myself, Aspergers has become a focus of interest... and fellow Aspies know what that can be like


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## shychick2 (Oct 20, 2008)

I may have this. I have been discharged from CBT (for SA/depression) as the therapist thinks it is not working due to possible Asperger's traits. Initially when I brought it up with her (as someone suggested previously) she didn't believe me. It took her a lot of sessions to change her mind to the point of preparing me for the assessment with a written prompt. I've not actually been assessed and been told today there is no funding for it. I've had assessment by a psychiatrist but need the next assessment by an Asperger's specialist.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

^ Lack of funding. Typical.

I'm at the end of my rope. Can't get help. I don't know how much more I can take and have a breakdown every few days now. It's too much and I can't take much more.


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## littlemisshy (Aug 10, 2010)

Just wanted to confirm something here. For anyone else reading this thread.
I agree that asperger kids don't have 'learning disabities' as such they just have a _different way of learning_.
They tend to process information 'visually'. 
With my sons case (he has aspergers), he is more 'slow' with processing things.
His reading and spelling are phenomenal but he has great difficulty in comprehending what he is reading.
He gets quite irritated and upset when his routine is changed and likes structure.
He makes friends but has difficulty in following social cues and rules. eg: likes a game to follow 'his rules'.
My son had speech and language delay, only had 5 words by 21/2yrs old. His expressive skills were even more delayed.

I should point out too that diagnosing adults with aspergers is different to diagnosing children. In diognosing an adult the psychologist usually goes by what the adult was like as a child.

btw my son's psychologist follows 'Tony Attwood's' teachings.

Sorry, for the ramble hopefully my input will help someone else out there


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## FloydRose (Aug 21, 2010)

GoldenPanther said:


> Socially however, development is stunted. An Aspie (a term used by many with Aspergers as a casual reference) is likely to have difficulty with understanding and internalizing the emotions of people around them - this can manifest either as having no empathy (which is what people typically think of with Aspies) or as having a strong negative reaction to changes in the moods of those around them. For example an Aspie (as a child) with the latter issue might find him/herself frightened or worse on seeing the anger their parent is directing towards another


I never understood how people around me changed their mood. As an adult it frightens me that when I can finally understand what's bothering someone else, by the next day they're okay, they're different. Whilst I had just begun to pick up.


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## Manic Monkey (Sep 6, 2010)

I, myself, do not suffer from Asperger's Syndrome, but I do happen to have an older brother and uncle who suffer from the condition. Both are extremely socially isolated and do not like to be around people, very much like me, but what makes us unlike eachother, what makes Social Anxiety Disorder different from Asperger's Syndrome, is that when in a social situation, they will become ignorant, but I will become panicked, resulting in anxiety attacks and such. However, your case may be different, but in the case of my older brother, uncle and myself, that is what seperates us.


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## Chairman Dan (Jul 20, 2010)

A couple of people here mentioned that Asperger's sufferers can be sarcastic. Correct me if i'm mistaken, but i always thought the opposite was the case in that people with Asperger's have difficulty picking up on nonliteral usage of language, such as metaphors, irony, and surely sarcasm. Isn't this point supposed to be one of the defining characteristics of Asperger's?


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

^ They can be pretty much anything including sarcastic, because there are always exceptions and degrees of difficulty with aspects associated with autism such as non literal language difficulties. For example, in the Gillberg diagnostic criteria, _impairment of comprehension including misinterpretations of literal/implied meanings_ is only one criterion under the speech and language problems. Not all have to be met.


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## AaronH (Sep 20, 2010)

my doctors have diagnosed me with both social anxiety and asperger's. sometimes I can tell which is which, sometimes it feels like asperger's is causing the anxiety. My asperger's causes things such as: not bieng able to look people in the eye(I avoid it and pretend to look at something else), failure to communicate at school and work and a fear of applying for jobs (because I have to introduce myself and make a good impression), failure to initiate conversation with strangers(which makes getting girlfriends almost impossible), OCD-like symptoms (i have to double check things even though i already know the answer, or double check something i just looked at a minute ago), and this like mental block that forces me to avoid certain things (usually social) with no rational reason to do so, it's like my brain takes over and tells me that I can't do it no matter how much I want to or need to (i will go out of my way to avoid situations only because my brain tells me I cant). I have been taking anti-depressants but they only make me feel slightly happier (not happy) and definitely do not correct the major problem. I still have friends and a social life, but this disorder holds me back from almost everything I want to do. It has been the cause of all my major problems since I was a child. It's the only thing I hate about myself. :afr I really don't know what to do about it. My doctors told me it's a new disorder that they don't fully understand or know how to cure it  I try my best, but it holds me back and makes everything 10x harder, which leads to depression.


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## jlotz123 (Dec 11, 2009)

antonina, my brother has Aspergers

His doctor has told my mom that people with Aspergers are 3 years behind everyone else, their socializing development is always lagging behind. I can see this clearly with my brother, although he's a very outgoing talkative person, he follows the crowd like a sheep. If something is in trend, he follows it..... but he does it in a way that just doesn't seem right. You can see how hard he tries to keep up, it's like a slow turtle who's trying to race with rabbits.

The social cues that most of us pick up on just don't click with him. I always have to reword everything I say, because he just doesn't understand. He also has poor listening skills when he's distracted on something. But there's something that he has that other people don't, he can focus on something with such great detail. He's obsessed with history, he's borderline historian and is VERY good at drawing.

I can see his struggle so much, it's painful to watch at times. He's extremely self conscious of his body, he has to perfect every little thing. If something doesn't go his way he freaks out and destroys things. He used to burn his clothing, tore up his wallet and money, shattered potted plants, punched holes in walls, shaved parts of his head, etc. Because of that I had a very nerve wracking childhood, he's already tried to committed suicide 4 times already. The last one almost killed him because he was overdosing on pills. At times I become so angry at him, but usually I feel so bad for his condition.


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## Jayne311 (Aug 20, 2009)

I can't follow verbal instructions from a real live person, or someone not in a story; for example, someone can tell me to do something at work, and I won't hear them, but I can pay absolute attention to a fictional movie and understand what people are saying and what they mean. 

This has gone away for the most part, but especially when I was really young, even as young as three or four, I would be extremely frustrated because I remember being angry that I was alive. I was mad because I had never asked to be born and I was expected to do more and more because I was growing every day. All I wanted was to hide somewhere. 

I'm very obsessed with a TV show, but that isn't quite as narrow as some of the interests I've heard people be obsessed with. 

I don't get jokes right away when people say them right to my face, or two people are talking to each other in front of me. Sometimes on TV shows I don't get jokes either, but I get those quicker, I think because I'm less focused on being a participant and can just observe.

Things overstimulate me very easily. I can't stand droning sounds like those that a washing machine would make, and if my room isn't neat and clean, I start to be upset and can't focus until it's clean.

Being around people exhausts me. Even if I have a fun time with them and I feel like things went well, I'm still tired when I get home and I need time alone to recharge. 

I don't understand why people would want to fall in love. I heard someone sing in a song recently about wanting to do a bunch of different things in their life, but it wouldn't mean anything if they couldn't experience those things with their girlfriend. For me, the ultimate goal is to go out and do fun things and have meaningful experiences by myself. If I'm with another person, I'm less inside my head, and I can't experience things or know myself fully, and I don't like that feeling.


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## CrimsonKing (Oct 14, 2010)

*AQ test*

just thought I would post this link again for anyone who has any doubts about Asperger's Synd. or Hi-functioning Autism. I scored REALLY high on this test, which was both depressing and a kind of relief, since I was officially diagnosed 4 years ago anyway.

Take the test and see what score comes up, either for you or for a loved one:

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html

If you want a true diagnosis just go to a PSYCHOLOGIST with a clinical practice and a PhD, not a psychiatrist or "therapist".....and preferably choose one who is younger (20-40 years old)

CrimsonKing


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## Akane (Jan 2, 2008)

24 on that test. Directly in the middle of "normal" and majority of people diagnosed with autism. I've been diagnosed with it 3 times from different psychiatrists and it really doesn't fit. The only things I score towards autism on I do for a different reason than what is perceived.


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## Kon (Oct 21, 2010)

I also score very high on all of the 3 tests (especially Aspergers and Highly Sensitive Person tests):

1. Aspergers
2. Social anxiety disorder 
3. Highly Sensitive Person 

Something seems weird here. Either the tests are flawed (too many overlapping symptoms to differentiate between the different conditions) or I have a bit of all 3 conditions (assuming those conditions are valid). My psychiatrist told me that the main difference between Asperger's and SAD is Asperger's patients tend to talk at you not with you. So he doesn't believe I have Aspergers, although I score higher on those tests than I do on SAD tests.


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## lyricalillusions (Nov 29, 2008)

I have very severe social anxiety & have my whole life. It has nothing to do with embarrassment for me, though, which seems to be a huge part of the SA criteria. As for Asperger's, though I've never been tested or diagnosed, I'm sure that I fall somewhere on the spectrum. I began seriously looking into it after a therapist asked if I had ever been diagnosed with it about 2 1/2 years ago. An ASD explains a lot of the things about my childhood that I had always been confused about before I read up on them. It makes my life make sense.

I got a 41 on that test, though I don't put much value into those things. I believe I have an ASD because, after reading up on it & hearing about others' experiences with ASD's, I realize that I definitely encompass a lot of the characteristics. Most, but not all. hope to get tested for real, but seeing as how I have no health insurance & no money, it doesn't seem as if it will happen for a while.



dontcare said:


> Someone posted an Asperger's test on the board, I got a high score and it shook me up a little. But Dr. Richards (of audio series fame) explains the difference:
> http://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/asperger.html
> So I'm pretty sure I have only SAD. If I do have Asperger's, it's probably too minor to really matter, not even worth looking into.


The guy who wrote that obviously knows very little about Asperger's Syndrome. Not only did he get the name wrong by calling it "Asperger's _Disorder_", but he seems to think that people with Asperger's are not supposed to face anxiety, even saying: _"__If a person experiences undue and irrational anxiety, then the condition is not likely to be Asperger's._" Well, that's not true at all. People on the Autism Spectrum (Asperger's included) oftentimes have sensory issues & those sensory issues can cause very serious anxiety.


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## Kon (Oct 21, 2010)

The lack of empathy criteria for Asperger's has also been questioned by some: 

"A groundbreaking study suggests people with autism-spectrum disorders such as Asperger's do not lack empathy - rather, they feel others' emotions too intensely to cope"

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/art...nins-01-077.pdf

http://www.philosophicalturn.net/in...rged_Brains.pdf

For some of sensory issues, here they are:

"An intense and immediate emotional and physiological reaction (possibly rage, frustration, sadness, or panic) upon hearing certain sounds - most prominently noises associated with oral functions such as eating, breathing, chewing or other noises such as typing sounds or pencils scratching-are the defining symptoms of a little known and poorly understood condition called "Selective Sound Sensitivity Syndrome" or "4S".

http://www.soundsensitive.org/index...d=46&Itemid=149


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## OneIt (Jun 10, 2011)

First post...

My son has been diagnosed with aspergers and has alot of problems at home and school. After he was diagnosed I read a book on it and it hit me, I had it too!

Recently I have come across SA and realized how much of a problem it has been for me. It almost seems like SA is all of my problem.

Someone tell me what they think about my breakdown here.

*The Good*
I was a star athlete in my younger years.
I never had any problems learning.
I get jokes, make them myself and crack on people. Most things are humorous to me.
I have many interests although I bounce around alot. I don't have a favorite.
I am great with small details.
Have always had a job and I am a successful system/network admin now.

*The Bad*
Can't look people in the eye.

I have a very hard time initiating conversation with people I don't know real well as well as keeping one going.

Hate meeting new people.

Hate when people come over my house.

I can be blunt with people. Maybe so I don't have to explain myself or maybe so they don't want to talk to me?

I think I get peoples feelings but am scared to realize them because I don't know what to say or how to comfort them.(I think, what if I say something to upset them more or they just think i mean or stupid...)

I hide my feelings because of what others will think of me. I had a rollercoaster of emotions growing up which is why I think I block my emotions now.

I hated school and never wanted to go (I missed alot of school from preschool through highschool)

When I was younger I had alot of anger and wanted to die (I guess thats just depression though)

I had a few close friends through school that I always hung with. We always went out to parties and places (I always had to be drinking though)

I seemed to always have a girlfriend. They never lasted long though. I would break it off before things got serious. (again maybe I was afraid of my emotions coming out and what they would think???)

I do get entrenched in what I am doing and hate being interrupted, doesn't everyone though??

I am a perfectionist. Growing up i remember art projects not being perfect so I wouldn't do it. I was worried people would think i was stupid for how I did.

I do like things in order and try to have everything perfect (I now think this is because of what people think of me. I have to be perfect or people will think i am stupid and talk about me)

I do like structure and things to be in order (What will people think of me if I am not organized and have structure.)

While on this subject I will let you know I don't have to do things multiple times or check things twice unless it is because someone else will think something about me.

I suck at pattern recognition

I do make weird noises. (I think it is to break the silence or something, I only do it around people I know real good.)

I think that covers it all.

Now I have been reading this book called "Dying of Embarrassment" and a light went off in my head that maybe I have SA and not aspergers. Although alot of the traits for aspergers apply to me they seem to come from SA.

It seems I really care about how people view me and what they think about me. I have been blocking it out and acting like I didn't really care what anyone thought and this whole time its whats been killing me.


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## sparky10 (Dec 30, 2008)

OneIt said:


> First post...
> 
> My son has been diagnosed with aspergers and has alot of problems at home and school. After he was diagnosed I read a book on it and it hit me, I had it too!
> 
> ...


I would say you just have social anxiety as you already know but not aspergers. Although there are people with greater knowledge on aspergers than me so its just my opinion.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

Me have aspergers' condition

I not understand how to keep conversation going.
I not understand when I upset someone. and I usually just laugh anyway at them when they are quite obviously upset.
I get totally freaked out when introduced to new people, usually a pretty girl.
I say mean things for no reason like once I told my parents I hope they divorce, I just said it out of the blue and I got smacked for it.
I';ve said things to teachers out of the blue for no reason that have got me in trouble. Like one time the teacher asked "now who wouldn't want to do that worksheet?" I was the only one who said no. She thought I was being smart but I misnterpreted the question.
I can't tell if someone is looking at me so I don't like to look back at someone who is staring at me, like a girl who likes me.
I always am uncaring and don't understand other people feelings properly or even my own.
I ALWAYS talk to myself like I am 3 or 4 people and never get lonely.
When I lift a really heavy object my mind talks to itself uncontrollably.
I have crap dreams that are never interesting. I NEVER dream about sex.
I can't read a book because I must keep repeating words over and over again just to make sure I read it properly.
I hardly don't get jokes. Comedies are not funny while everyone else is laughing.
If there is a game or movie with many sequels I will just buy them even if I don't like them.
I just listen to people what they tell me to do and have been exploited again and again.
I get easily angry over small noises like someone coughing or clearing their throat and I feel like killing them.
I don't understand the meaning of simple things like a wave or a smile. So I usually just ignore the person.
I don't like clubbing or partying or reading or watching movies or listening to music. I don't see any fun in any of it.
I don't understand the emotional meaning of music or art or shows or movies.


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## nbtxdude (Jun 20, 2010)

I thought I had SA. I still may, though. I was recently diagnosed with Asperger's meeting most of the criteria:

1. I won't look people in the eyes.
2. I don't like to be touched (hugged/etc) by others.
3. I'm clumsy to the point of running into the wall while walking down a hallway (or sideswiping a corner when turning).
4. I had a slow speech development process when I was a kiddo...
5. I get intense obsessions on different topics for a few months, then find something else.
6. For all intents I'm asexual - no desire of any type. No fantasies. 
7. I can pretend to be empathetic. But I'm not in reality... I'll comfort people because I need to, but I don't share in their emotion... 
8. I can be harsh sometimes but I have no idea that I'm doing it. Some of my friends have said I can be too much like "Sheldon" from Big Bang Theory, but be completely oblivious that I said something wrong.
9. Good Long term memory. Terrible Short Term...

If you have most of those (except maybe 6), then you have some level of Aspergers. I was never "afraid" of talking to people. I just didn't want to do it...

Actually, the diagnosis helped bring closure to me. I've always wondered why I was the guy who was following the beat of a different drummer. Why the normal motivations of life (money, sex) have never been a primary influencer of my life.


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## angiemarie (Dec 26, 2011)

I have had a few therapists tell me that I probably have it too. The word Autism caught me off guard at first, and I shrugged it off... but upon further reading on it... Yeppp, sounds about right. I fit most of the criteria. Not asexual, though I am absolutely horrible with relationships due to some of the things you listed though.


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## SicilianuAmericanu (Jul 6, 2011)

My therapist thinks I have PDD-NOS which is related to Asperger's. http://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/pdd-nos


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## Ulysses (Feb 3, 2012)

Me too, I have both, was diagnosed with Aspergers a while ago, learned lots of rules that seem to help me function well enough in some social situations, but I do feel for people I just have problems reading people, which doesn't mean I have no empathy, just that its often misplaced, and misdirected. 

Humor I don't get, nor people's interest or lack of interest, have learned painfully how to read, but its all in the mind not intuitive at all, and a lot slower then what people do naturally every day.


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## syrella (Aug 4, 2011)

I thought I might be somewhere on the spectrum for about a year. I finally decided that I probably am not, though I share a lot in common with people who are. I might qualify for PDD-NOS, but until then, I'm just a quirky, rather asocial person with obsessive interests.


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## TheExplosionist (Apr 13, 2009)

I was told I have aspergers but I don't believe it.

I do behave in an autistic way but it's completely attributable to the anxiety. I'm definitely not obsessive nor unable to read people.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

beautibelle said:


> Extremely mild forms of Asperger's mimic social anxiety disorder but the causes are completely different. In general, people with Asperger's have an impared ability to pick up other people's feelings and to see things from other people's views. So sometimes people with Aspergers come off as uncaring, sarcastic or too blunt in social situations. People with social phobia often come off that way too but the cause is due more to a lack of practice with social situations. While with Aspergers, it's due to a neurological cause.


This sounds like me. There's a whole spectrum of asperger's symptoms. I think I'm on the lower end, but It's definitely there. My interactions with strangers have gotten better over the years, but I think that's just from observation and practice. I still feel like I'm forcing myself to act out another personality just to be out in society.

Smile...Maintain eye contact... not too long... ugh It's mentally exhausting.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Of course, being human, I can recognize when I have traits that aren't normal so I can force myself to stop doing them. Like when I was in grade school, I used to say something out loud and then repeat it under my breath. People called me on it, so I forced myself to stop doing it. Or when I was ridiculed for not looking people in the eye. Now I force myself to look everyone in the eye, even if it makes me uncomfortable.

Doesn't this make aspie's harder to diagnose? When they recognize their own symptoms and then work to suppress them.


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