# Positivity Cures SA



## AlekParker (Oct 31, 2006)

I realize now from reading countless books on anxiety, depression, motivation, CBT, therapy, counseling etc, that negativity is the root our anxiety. 

Therefore now I can finally accept my anxiety, accept my awkwardness etc. and get out there and do ****. I've accomplished so much in the past few years trying to get over my SA. Now I've made positivity a major part of my life. Every day I read something positive, watch motivational movies, talk to people who have succeeded in life etc. I feel better every day.

5 years ago I would have pessimistically denied that I could be this successful socially. I've come a long way and looking back on everything I'm so happy where I am right now. **** YEAH!!

:yes :yes :yes


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## bent (Aug 4, 2005)

i often wonder how much positive thinking and positive verbalizing really influences reality. i still am skeptical but it can't hurt to try now and then. so here's something for us all to read and perhaps say out loud: "We will all overcome our social anxiety and achieve the goals we pursue within the coming months. Yeah!" I hope it helps even if only a little bit. 

I believe it therefor it will be real. Oops...i doubted...that's ok though. Just thinking it in a positive way can have a beneficial impact on the outcome of our lives. I don't know to what extent but i am willing to believe that somehow it is beneficial.


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## social_awkward_butterfly (Feb 17, 2007)

AlexParker, good for you! I am the same as you...i read something positive everyday, everymorning and also at bedtime. Take it one step further as i have done=avoid negative tv shows/movies, the daily and nightly news, delete negative words from your vocabulary, write down and read to yourself positive affirmations AND always stay in the present moment...don't dwell on the past or look to far into the future. Being positive is extremely important to finding happiness within yourself, as negative thoughts only lead to anger/depression/resentment etc. Being positive in a realistic and optimistic way draws you to other people with the same type of thinking, which can lead to positive experiences and feelings of goodwill towards each other. I know this from very good personal experience, as i grew up with some very negative people who influenced my mind in a very bad way. When i started to burn out emotionally from years of negativety, i decided it was time to return to a place in my mind when i was that positive and optimistic person. Fill your mind with good thoughts about yourself and about others and always, ALWAYS....''walk on the sunny side of the street.''


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## fraidycat (Oct 29, 2004)

i agree..we've been filling our minds w/so much negative crap you have to inject a little positivity to counteract it. I haven't gotten there yet. It's hard to believe that everything's _that _easy. Also, it's a little scary. Does anyone know what I mean? It's like i'm so prone to believing in things in a certain way, that if I were to change my mindset and have a major set back I'll be even more crushed.

But a great example of positive thinking for me...say I was meeting up w/a couple of old friends. Instead of thinking "oh god, i'm going to be a mess, they're going see how stupid and awkward I am and hate me". I try to think (I was told by my cousin to try this out) " yep, I'm the sh1t, my friends love me, they're going to be so excited to see me and vice versa"


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## Steve85 (Oct 11, 2006)

*Re: re: Positivity Cures SA*



fraidycat said:


> i agree..we've been filling our minds w/so much negative crap you have to inject a little positivity to counteract it. I haven't gotten there yet. It's hard to believe that everything's _that _easy. Also, it's a little scary. Does anyone know what I mean? It's like i'm so prone to believing in things in a certain way, that if I were to change my mindset and have a major set back I'll be even more crushed.


Yep, I'm right there with you. For instance, when I happen upon a situation that has caused me anxiety in the past, and then this time I do not feel anxiety or as much anxiety, I'm confused and even a bit scared for some reason. We've habituated ourselves to all these negative actions, that when we no longer feel them we're out there in a new place we've never been before. That's why I'm totally 100% on the positive thinking bandwagon. If we habituate ourselves enough to the positive thinking, pretty soon the positive thinking will become habit, and won't be so surprising when we encounter it.


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## Steve85 (Oct 11, 2006)

Can someone recommend a quality positivity book they have read or are reading? Or perhaps a website you frequent, anything positive besides positive affirmations (which are great, but I've got them up the ying yang!).

I just purchased the new book entitled "blink" by Malcolm Gladwell about the power of thinking, but I'd like to encorporate some more positive reading in as well.


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## Nuthatch (Apr 13, 2007)

> Can someone recommend a quality positivity book they have read or are reading? Or perhaps a website you frequent, anything positive besides positive affirmations (which are great, but I've got them up the ying yang!).


I read this book a little while ago called "Positive Addiction" by William Glasser. It focuses more on positive behavior and how that can really propel you forward in terms of overcoming negativity in your life. There were some things I disagreed with him about, but overall it's a good, beneficial read.


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## shiznit (Nov 21, 2004)

Nice post. SA is a mindset. SA is something we all have developed on our own through various experiences in life. The tilte of this thread is the key to making the SA go away quickley. The more positive you are , the quicker the SA will cease to exist.


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

I agree, positive thinking is the key! It transforms you from the inside out. I used to be very negative, and I slowly shifted my mindset to positive. I could still use improvements, but the changes I've experienced already are amazing. My mind has expanded, chores seem easier, and I even look better, physically. I get more smiles and hellos from strangers on the street. Positive energy is contagious. When you radiate positive engery, people loosen up and treat you better.


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

Yeah, I totally agree AlexParker!


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## shiznit (Nov 21, 2004)

whiteclouds said:


> Positive energy is contagious. When you radiate positive engery, people loosen up and treat you better.


Exactly. Like attracts like.


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## princessorwhat (Mar 30, 2007)

Thanks for reminding me of that... I'm going through a rather low patch right now, where I can't be bothered to do too many positive thinking exercises etc. But this did already help me a lot in the past 3 months. I've noticed that I smile much more, and yes, get more friendly looks from people on the street. Also, it just FEELS so much better to be positive. I had a job interview the other day. Instead of thinking, like I used to 'I will never get that job anyway' I found myself enjoying to put on make-up and wear smart clothes. I even enjoyed the interview and when I didn't get the job (but was kept on their record for upcoming futire jobs) I wasn't really upset, just a bit sad. I'm still glad I attended the interview.

The best book I've read on positive thinking so far has been 'Feel the fear and do it anyway' by Susan Jeffers. It has truly done wonders for me.


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## AlekParker (Oct 31, 2006)

Here are some books that are great:
How to Win Friends and Influence people by Dale Carnegie
Worry by Dale Carnegie
7 Habits of Highly Effetive People
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyways by Susan Jeffers
any of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books
Napoleon Hill
a lot of Auto/ Biographies of successful people

Listen to audios by:
Brian Tracy
Anthony Robbins
Napoleon Hill
etc

I'm serious about this... it takes time to really think positively... but it freaking works. I used to be severely depressed and highly anxious. I still feel anxiety, but my mind just says "who cares, just do it anyway" and i'll actually get out and do ****... after a while the anxiety goes away.

I've been working on this for years and it definitely takes a lot of persistance and will power... BUT you can live your life. Just accept it.

Life isn't as hard as WE make it out to be... force yourself to get help... go live life.

ps watch the movie "Life Is Beautiful" and youll see what i'm talking about


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## AlekParker (Oct 31, 2006)

PPS... when I realized that i was such a pessimist my life changed...

i think everyone who has SA is an incredibly negative thinker, especially when it comes to ourselves...

look at the amount of posts in the FRUSTRATION and COPING sections versus the POSITIVITY section

the fact that we know that how to overcome this means that the only thing holding us back is ourselves at this point... let's ****en get over this **** and live our lives. don't let our negative thoughts destroy us.

i sound like a motivational guru at this point... but i just want to share this with as many people as i can here... my life is awesome right now


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## princessorwhat (Mar 30, 2007)

I just had the exact same thought. The positivity section should be moved up higher on this discussion board! The frustration section is great when you want to vent, but I can only agree, if you truly want to get better, you just need to be positive about yourself and life.

Thanks for your inspiration Alex, and great to hear that your life is awesome right now.


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## Softy785 (Apr 16, 2006)

This thread is awesome, and I completely agree with what everyone is saying. Life _is_ beautiful, and we should be thankful for every day that we have! A great website with a daily inspirational positive message is http://www.greatday.com. I think everyone with SA should be reading those daily messages.

The only way to overcome social anxiety (which derives and feeds itself on your negative thoughts) is to wash the brain of the negative thoughts and fill it with positive, rational thoughts and feelings. We need to make this our daily mission by monitoring our thoughts for the junk that doesn't belong there and deliberately planting healthy, positive thoughts in its place. It takes a little effort, but its well worth it.


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## AlekParker (Oct 31, 2006)

Softy thanks so much for that site


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## Grantonio (Jan 20, 2006)

hehe, I too agree with a lot of what is being said. I have been through some hardcore CBT training and I feel like I can be on top of my SA so good it is not even funny...but I still find my self depressed on days even when I am doing excellent socially (like I begin to think people think I am cocky/over confident b/c I am talking well). thinking positive helps me over come this. Negativity truely is the heart of SA, not as much as irrational thought processes, but a dam close second. great posts!


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## barnabas (Apr 24, 2007)

Positivity does cure SA. I can vouch for that.


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## shiznit (Nov 21, 2004)

*Re: re: Positivity Cures SA*



princessorwhat said:


> The positivity section should be moved up higher on this discussion board! if you truly want to get better, you just need to be positive about yourself and life.


 :agree I second that. This site should be focused on the positive aspects that influence us anxious everyday.


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