# I'm new here, and I'm surprised by how many of the teen SA-suffers have a bf/gf



## bamboo (Jul 13, 2009)

It seems strange. Lots of the posters here even say they have no friends, and yet many have a boyfriend or girlfriend. (And I'm guessing there's at least some overlap between these groups.) Can someone please explain how it happens? I always thought getting a bf/gf would only be easy with enough friends to hook you up with one.

Also, this is my first post.  I guess I might post something in the proper newbies section later...


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## Braxietel (Jan 9, 2009)

I was surprised when I managed to get a girlfriend, so was.. well.. everybody, I think that was partly because I can be an unlikeable ******* and also because some were fairly certain I was gay. However it wasn't due to me having friends, I don't have many and a lot of these the friendship can be pretty tenuous, so what's my point? I don't know.


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## Infexxion (Jun 29, 2009)

I had a girlfriend last summer, but I only got to know her through the internet. My communication with her in real life was about 80% less than what it was online. It was pretty pathetic. But, to explain it, I only feel well, not nervous, communcating over the internet.


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## TheB0a (Aug 2, 2009)

Yae well...i'm more of the online dater type a person, though i have been asked out a few times, i'm just more of the online type


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## dirty rich (Aug 21, 2009)

i'm 16 and i've never had one ...it surprises me too 

the only way i would ever be able to get one is to go out with a random guy who approached me in the street seeing as i don't have a "social network" but all the random guys who have approached me have been creeps...not that i get approached very often especially since i don't go out that often because i have no friends


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## Hypnos (Aug 17, 2009)

Infexxion said:


> I had a girlfriend last summer, but I only got to know her through the internet. My communication with her in real life was about 80% less than what it was online. It was pretty pathetic. But, to explain it, I only feel well, not nervous, communcating over the internet.


I was the same, we communicated a lot more online than in person, it s just so much easier to open up that way, even though i wish it wasn t.

And in my experience, friends are a hindrance when it comes to dating. They get in the way and cause a lot of problems. Because of that, i preferred keeping my relationships private from them because they re impossible to talk to about that.

Friends don t help in the creation of a relationship, but destroying one seems to come naturally to them.


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## polardude18 (Oct 13, 2009)

*meet a girlfriend on the internet, its easier*

well i have a girlfriend, but i never in my life expected to have a girlfriend at 17 with my social anxiety

we meet on the internet, i dont think i could ever actually meet a girl in real life lol, but it turned out we only lived about 45 minutes away, so we decided to meet at a mall, even thought we had talked for about a month before we first met, it was kind of akward, i mean talking face to face is very different than over the night, and even though the date was akward for both of us, we talked as we walked around the mall and went to different stores, and eventually we got more comfortable with each other, we have been going out every week, for about a month and a half now, and even now its still a little scary, i mean there is still the occasional silence, but as time goes by, it gets easier

it was a lot easier sense even though we were meeting for the first time, we already kind of knew each other, i guess what im saying is, sometimes you just have to go against your fear of meeting someone, and just meet them, as sometimes it can work out well


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## shyprettygirl (Oct 16, 2009)

well i have a boyfriend, we meet in a chat room on aim and we juss seemed to click. its weirdwen you think about havin a boyfriend/ girlfriend wen you have social anxiety buhh acctually its really easy for me. i got to know him on aim for about two weeks before we met in real life. so he got to know the real me and not the self-concoius shy one. it was a lil awkward wen we met and i do still get a lil nervous wen we hang out buh he makes me feel so comfortable and he acecpts me for who iam and so that make me feel so good that all those anxious and negative thoughts juss go out the window!!  ilove him so muchh and i really do think he is helping me by keepin my mind off the sa ( even though he doesnt know i have it ) and gettin me out into the world and meeting new people!


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## ruinMYlife (Nov 23, 2008)

i met a girl on the internet 4 or 5 years ago who lives in the same city as me, i want to meet her but i think she doesnt want to meet me, how sad


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## sarah22 (Oct 21, 2009)

Im 15 and ive never had a bf. It just takes a lot of confidence I think, confidence which i do not have.


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## wwefwjndrg3274 (Aug 25, 2009)

mean either, im also 15, sa gets in my way alot


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## N3XT2NON3 (Aug 10, 2009)

last when i had a gf was a year & a half ago. around that same time was when I realized i had social problems (hence taking online classes). I miss the feeling of being there for someone else. less emphasis on myself


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## Kirby (Nov 28, 2009)

I'm 16 and I've never had a girlfriend. Going to an all guys school doesn't help much lol. What makes it harder is that I want a real relationship, unlike what most teens do with their gfs/bfs these days... Having a gf is what I want more than anything right now, but I don't know how I'd ever be able to get one, let alone keep her. 

I guess it's weird for a 16 year old male to be thinking about love rather than "other things," but it fills my mind all day, and i'm constantly afraid of being alone the rest of my life.


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## TMD18 (Sep 15, 2009)

Kirby said:


> I'm 16 and I've never had a girlfriend. Going to an all guys school doesn't help much lol. What makes it harder is that I want a real relationship, unlike what most teens do with their gfs/bfs these days... Having a gf is what I want more than anything right now, but I don't know how I'd ever be able to get one, let alone keep her.
> 
> I guess it's weird for a 16 year old male to be thinking about love rather than "other things," but it fills my mind all day, and i'm constantly afraid of being alone the rest of my life.


I am and I feel the same way with guys....


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## VeggieGirl (Dec 11, 2009)

Well I have a girlfriend, but lack friends.

I met my girlfriend online, through a gay dating website called TomDickandSally (if you are gay and looking for someone then check it out seriously because it is awesome) luckily she lived down the road from me however we had never met before!

After a couple of days talking, we decided to meet up and yes I was completely ****ting myself about it, but it was fine and we got on great!

She has introduced me to her friends and I couldn't thank her more for it, because I guess her friends had no prior judgement of me and so I could be whoever I wanted to be and tbh around them I find myself very relaxed.


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## Musicismyhideaway (Dec 16, 2009)

I don't know how they do it, either. I have a couple of close family friends, and I'm making some friends since I moved, but I've never had a boyfriend. -sigh- For me, friendly situations are much easier than romantic ones. I don't know if this is SA or just bring a teenager, lol.


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## miniman45 (Dec 9, 2009)

PEOPLE WHO HAVE SA ARE NICE PEOPLE
TEENAGERS ARE FORCED INTO SOCIAL SITUATIONS

=

NICE PEOPLE IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS (VERY ATTRACTIVE TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING)

sorry bout the caps but thats my theory.


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## VeggieGirl (Dec 11, 2009)

Tbh with me finding a girlfriend has always been easy, its actually staying in the relationship which I find hard.
The relationship I am in at the moment is pretty solid and I am so happy about it, but the worst thing about being in a relationship is thinking "what would I do if I lost them?"


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## Amanda123 (Jan 21, 2010)

I'm 16 & never had a bf. I've had plenty of guys ask me out though.. I've always been fearful of being in relationships.. and idk I enjoy being free from commitment, we're young, so why not just enjoy life and not be involved with all the bull that comes from teen relationships.


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## SincerelyMe (Jan 6, 2010)

I'm 17 and I never had a boyfriend because I choose not too.
High schools guys are immature and are majority perverts, and love
to joke around pervertdly.
Plus, 6 people I know that are my same grade have gotten pregnant
some kids at my school have gotten expelled because of ehrm, doing some
innapporiate sexual stuff.

And a lot of my so called friends have already done it.

Maybe my school is just full of perverts? But whenever I think of me and high school relationship it's a "NO!"


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## tribble (Feb 13, 2010)

I'm 16 and I haven't had a boyfriend in over two years (and at those times, the relationships weren't serious at all.) I think a big part of it is that guys won't notice me if I don't go out of my way to talk to them, and there's no way I'd be able to do that. Also, the school I'm at harbors a lot of kids with drug and/or behavioral problems (I'm only there because of a chronic pain condition), so it's not exactly like there's a proper dating pool. But I don't have friends there, either. I think if I went to school with some kids who had the same values as me, things might be easier as far as gaining friends and/or a boyfriend.


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## Vine_of_Sodom (Jan 18, 2009)

Alot of kids are depressed, confused, anxious, and wild... It's not uncommon for them to go for anything, if you look good, act genuine, it's not too hard to get a girlfriend. Eventually when teens mature into adults, and learn about themselves things can get more complicated, or on the other hand easier because you know what you are looking for.


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## cemeterygates (Feb 15, 2010)

I do, but he's only online. He's perfect but the distance kills me. :sigh


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## metallica2147 (Feb 15, 2010)

.....


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## sabueed (May 8, 2008)

metallica2147 said:


> I'm 18 and have only had online "girlfriends". It's very hard to meet people, let alone have a relationship with a girl.


What is an online girlfriend? How does that work?


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## lehcar18 (Feb 17, 2010)

I'm 18 and have never been in a relationship.


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## thuphanl (Feb 20, 2010)

I am really surprised that the suffers here have bf/gf. I'm for one am afraid to get one. I believe that no one want me at my state. However, I also believe that I can change myself and get all the friends that "normal" people have. Why me? Why can't I help myself to be like othe "normal" people with companionship. Why? I hate myself for asking that question.


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## Setolac (Jul 26, 2009)

Maybe these "sufferers" aren't suffering at all. Some just exaggerate their anxiety and complain about very minute things such as "My girlfriend/boyfriend didn't text me last night, now im depressed" etc.


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## Lionking92 (Apr 6, 2011)

i've always had a boyfriend throughout school even though i was painfully shy.. i met my current boyfriend from an old friend just last year. He was always 2 lockers away from mine in high school and we never spoke since he seemed like the popular time. But when we started talking this year we clicked and found out we are exactly the same!

it's been almost 7 months already 
everyone deserves someone so good luck to all <3


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## notna (Aug 24, 2010)

Lionking92 said:


> i've always had a boyfriend throughout school even though i was painfully shy.. i met my current boyfriend from an old friend just last year. He was always 2 lockers away from mine in high school and we never spoke since he seemed like the popular time. But when we started talking this year we clicked and found out we are exactly the same!
> 
> it's been almost 7 months already
> everyone deserves someone so good luck to all <3


How did you manage too talk to him ?


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## xTKsaucex (Jun 23, 2010)

nope never. Been asked out like ages ago - god knows why I didn't say yes, fear I guess or worthlessness.


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## chocoandhunter (Apr 16, 2011)

I have had a bf before surprisingly and it wasnt through the internet. Im not sayin it lasted long but still i didnt have to meet him over the internet which was surprsising


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## TheQueenOfNoise (May 28, 2011)

I'm 15 and I never had a bf.. And I also can't understand how some people who have SA can get a gf/bf.. Lucky them.. ): 

I had some "opportunities".. Two of my friends, who are very out-going, tried to hook me up with a guy who is 7 years older..  I mean, I was saying "No, no, no" and convinced them hours later.. Because the guy tried to be with them too.. And they said he liked me. -.- I really don't know what did he like in me, as I'm very quiet and wasn't even talking to him.. Just saw him TWICE. 

Then, there were random guys in my school, and my surroundings, who were like "interested" in me.. I hate it. I hate when a strange guy sees me for the first time on a street, or in a cafe, and starts flirting, or even worse TALKING, with me. >.< I just ignore them. I hate flirting. I'm not going to have a bf yet.. I mean, everyone is immature and sexually obsessed, and probably won't understand me.. :/


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## Ricebunnyx3 (Sep 1, 2010)

This baffles me as well. I've never had a boyfriend. And I would hate to get one on the internet. It's weird, no offense, and I'd like my relationship to be prominent in real life.


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## trendyfool (Apr 11, 2010)

I've never had a boyfriend, and I'm 18. It's not because I couldn't have one, it's because I don't feel ready. Definitely moreso than I used to be, though. I have to get my life in order, start loving myself more consistently and then get out there and try to meet someone.


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## Invalid Username (May 25, 2011)

I've never had a girlfriend. I've had several opportunities with girls that have had a crush on me but I've never had the confidence to make the first move.


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## Jess32247 (Jun 4, 2011)

Really? I havn't seen anyone say they have a gf/bf.

I guess I'm looking in the wrong sections.

And congrats on your first post!


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## Creeps McKinster (Jun 6, 2011)

xTKsaucex said:


> nope never. Been asked out like ages ago - god knows why I didn't say yes, fear I guess or worthlessness.


Samesies...


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