# Am I Unhappy Because I am Agnostic?



## Squareone (Nov 22, 2006)

I just wanted to see what people had for responses to this. Maybe other peoples' personal experiences or philosophies will help me out.

Thanks for any help.


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## Kardax (Dec 29, 2004)

My agnosticness isn't affecting my happiness. Actually, I enjoy the lack of any peer pressure to do certain things at certain times on certain days, and other rituals.

Besides, there's certainly no shortage of unhappy religious people. Just go to an ultra-conservative church and shout out "gay people are awesome!" and you'll get to meet a lot of them :yes

On the other hand, people do find happiness in their religious lifestyle.

I guess the only conclusion you can draw from this is happiness and religion aren't necessarily related... it's other things...

-Ryan


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## a989chris (Dec 12, 2006)

Nope, as an agnostic I feel no pressure to be tied to any one religious tenet or dogma. I enjoy reading and acquiring information from everything from pagan philosophers, some christian writers, islamic teachings, and the eastern faiths of Asia. All contribute to my sense of understanding of the world.


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## smiles (Nov 13, 2006)

Your happiness depends on what and how you are thinking while you're awake. If something in religion helps people ... its the thoughts that they think about what they read or follow.


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## Traeynne (Mar 2, 2008)

i think that's something people try to use as an excuse...as to why being an agnostic is bad. it's your outlook in life that really affects things...


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## Prism (Dec 17, 2004)

There is EXTENSIVE evidence that "religious" people are happier and less stressed. Of course, there are many agnostics and atheists who seem to be reasonably content. I suppose I could link some research if there is a desire for it.

My Christian point of view:

As someone who went from being an atheist to a Christian, I have battled anxiety and depression in both stages. The main difference is that now I have an underlying hope for both the world and my own life. Moreover, when I was an atheist I was suicidal and interested in drugs but now all of that is gone (upon my conversion the harshest depression in my life was lifted).

That being said, God isn't a magical fairy that you can call on to wipe away every one of your problems. What God offers is more; grace to cover man's true affliction; sin.


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## youfailme (Mar 7, 2008)

I'll agree that religion can provide that.

I feel like i was happier when i had something to rely on when i used to go to church. I don't believe in god anymore, and I do miss being able to rely on some heavenly figure when things are bad, but I also would not want to force myself to attend church when I think its all bogus.

But i dont believe that you need religion to be on the same level as believers in terms of happiness.


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## Trybrow (Mar 13, 2008)

Prism said:


> There is EXTENSIVE evidence that "religious" people are happier and less stressed. Of course, there are many agnostics and atheists who seem to be reasonably content. I suppose I could link some research if there is a desire for it.
> 
> My Christian point of view:
> 
> ...


Thats why they say ignorance is bliss


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## tropicalsq744 (May 15, 2006)

I'm one of those undecided ones (and agnostic) too, though I've been going to church a few times in the past weeks (mostly because my mum forces me to)

Last week, I "accepted" the lord (ie. said the sinners prayer) to make my mum happy. I don't know if I made the wrong decision. I mean I'm still pretty much undecided, and I lean towards the atheist side of the argument (which is where I was when I left church).

I very much want to believe in God like how I used to but it's so hard. I mean once your mind has been "opened up", its hard to believe again, especially with the childlike and simple-minded faith that evangelical churches nowadays seem to empahsize so much on..


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## SadRosesAreBeautiful (May 15, 2008)

I actually went from Christian to atheist at very end of my high school career. I don't believe in heaven or hell either, but this is not what contributes to any unhappiness I have. I actually love being a 'freethinker.' I don't believe that just because one is agnostic means that he or she is automatically an unhappy person. There are many unhappy Christians as well, and I happened to be one of them back in the day.


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## aries (May 2, 2008)

You might be happier with a religion or diety to look to in times of need, I find it helps me appreciate and make sense of the world... and to some extent cope with my problems.
But of course you can't force yourself into something if you don't fully accept it.


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

a989chris said:


> Nope, as an agnostic I feel no pressure to be tied to any one religious tenet or dogma. I enjoy reading and acquiring information from everything from pagan philosophers, some christian writers, islamic teachings, and the eastern faiths of Asia. All contribute to my sense of understanding of the world.


Although I attend church regularly I hate the label "Christian". I also like reading anything and everything about personal enlightenment and philosophy. Your spirituality should, IMO, give you an appreciation for knowledge not cause you to shun it. One of the sadder ocurrences is when I meet a close-minded/narrow-minded person, regardless if they believe in god or not.


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## Lilfly (Feb 16, 2007)

:ditto 

(except the "attends church" thing)


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## venusfruit (May 9, 2008)

I think people who believe in an afterlife are more happy. I don't believe in life after death, so I'm kind of terrified of dying. It's scary to think about the end of your existence, even if it's not a happy existence  I just can't force myself to believe in it.


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## venusfruit (May 9, 2008)

I should note that I had a strong belief in God when I was a teenager. I wanted so desperately to believe in something and I was so lonely. It made me feel a little bit better. I had 'someone' to cry to and praying was a comfort. I was still very innocent then. In my twenties, I turned into a self-destructive hedonist. Now I believe that all beliefs are created in the human mind, so therefore, nothing is real. It's all illusion. The main thing that I don't agree with in regards to religion is teaching people to be afraid. I have enough fear as it is. I'm still trying to work through that now.


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## Caligula (Apr 16, 2008)

...


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## Christian (Oct 5, 2006)

Squareone said:


> I just wanted to see what people had for responses to this. Maybe other peoples' personal experiences or philosophies will help me out.
> 
> Thanks for any help.


when i was atheist/agnostic i could never imagine a meaningful life if we're alone. i mean maybe for some people its okay but i just could not accept it.


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## soldierforchrist (May 19, 2008)

it could be, or could be a number of other factors. personlly believe anything outside a persnal relationship with christ is religon or in vain, so beleiving there isnt enough proof to know their is a god, yet christians(saved chrisitians) live higher life, by overcoming doubt,misery,sin,the world and they are the happiest people on the planet. and chrisitnas leave no room for doubt about their not being a god. 

but anyways if u think being agnostic is making u miserble dont hang on to it, its not worth continuing unless u are likethe many christians who suffer for whatthey beleive in.


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## colonelpoop (Jun 18, 2008)

Being agnostic is not affecting your mental well-being, I assure you.

I myself am agnostic. I suspect that some supreme "god" like thing does in fact exist, it is just beyond my comprehension.


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## Slim Shady (Jun 24, 2008)

venusfruit said:


> I should note that I had a strong belief in God when I was a teenager. I wanted so desperately to believe in something and I was so lonely. It made me feel a little bit better. I had 'someone' to cry to and praying was a comfort. I was still very innocent then. In my twenties, I turned into a self-destructive hedonist. Now I believe that all beliefs are created in the human mind, so therefore, nothing is real. It's all illusion. The main thing that I don't agree with in regards to religion is teaching people to be afraid. I have enough fear as it is. I'm still trying to work through that now.


 :ditto

and i sense some influence of Bach here. am i right?


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## Were (Oct 16, 2006)

religious people are happier :

(taken from wikipedia ) There is now extensive research suggesting that religious people are happier and less stressed.[5][6] Surveys by Gallup, the National Opinion Research Centre and the Pew Organization conclude that spiritually committed people are twice as likely to report being "very happy" than the least religiously committed people.[7] An analysis of over 200 social studies contends that "high religiousness predicts a rather lower risk of depression and drug abuse and fewer suicide attempts, and more reports of satisfaction with sex life and a sense of well-being,"[8] and a review of 498 studies published in peer-reviewed journals concluded that a large majority of them showed a positive correlation between religious commitment and higher levels of perceived well-being and self-esteem and lower levels of hypertension, depression and clinical delinquency.[9][10] Studies by Keith Ward show that overall religion is a positive contributor to mental health,[11] and a meta-analysis of 34 recent studies published between 1990 and 2001 also found that religiosity has a salutary relationship with psychological adjustment, being related to less psychological distress, more life satisfaction, and better self-actualization.[12] Finally, a recent systematic review of 850 research papers on the topic concluded that "the majority of well-conducted studies found that higher levels of religious involvement are positively associated with indicators of psychological well-being (life satisfaction, happiness, positive affect, and higher morale) and with less depression, suicidal thoughts and behavior, drug/alcohol use/abuse."

i used to be a believer when i was a child but as i grow up , mostly because of all the bad things happened to me i lost all my faith , i was an agnostic with atheist tendencies , but if you keep looking for God(in my case Allah) you will find it again i'm sure .


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## mountain5 (May 22, 2008)

It's been some years since I went to church regularly. I used to be quite devout during my middle school years, but that went out the window when I realized that the "superstar" model children at church were just putting on a show to look good.

I've tried to go a church a few times in the past couple years. Every time, I feel worse coming out of church than I did coming in...I thought it's supposed to be the opposite.

It's frustrating because I do have some level of belief. I just feel like Christianity is totally incompatible with our modern way of living, and I can't see myself ever converting to a different religion.


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## R (Jun 13, 2006)

colonelpoop said:


> Being agnostic is not affecting your mental well-being, I assure you.
> 
> I myself am agnostic. I suspect that some supreme "god" like thing does in fact exist, it is just beyond my comprehension.


I agree

Also I find that science, fills the holes 'good enough'. I have met enough religious people to know that religion isn't a guaranteed way to happiness, not that it's supposed to be.


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## danielk (Jun 4, 2008)

I think others have said it well. Only you know whether or not your belief system is bringing you down. It has been my experience that I seek out belief structures that fit my current mood. So, in a year's time, I could be an atheist, agnostic, deist, and theist. This used to drive me nuts. I desperately wanted something to identify with. I've learned, though, that if I go with the flow I am less likely to break! Ridgid belief structures make one very vulnerable.

On an aside, culturally I am a Christian - I can't escape that. And I do go to church with my wife and son. What's of benefit to me from church is the social aspect. Being around people helps me. Our church is very liberal, though, and person's beliefs are regarded as private. I should add that both my wife and I identify pretty strongly with Judaism as far as beliefs go. We had both gone through the "conversion" process (Reform) but never felt integrated into the culture.


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## R (Jun 13, 2006)

danielk said:


> On an aside, culturally I am a Christian - I can't escape that.


I got a bit of that, the only reason I would be religious is because I identify with Christians even though they don't with me. But I never felt the urge to follow up on any of it besides reading or researching because its interesting.

I have played with Deism too. The only problem is that almost any religion you either have to give up science or pick and discard to many aspects of that very same religion because the denominations don't agree... the whole religion thing just doesn't seem to be very religious-like

besides agnostic which just says that i don't understand... :stu


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## danielk (Jun 4, 2008)

R said:


> ... the whole religion thing just doesn't seem to be very religious-like


 :lol


R said:


> besides agnostic which just says that i don't understand... :stu


The way I understand agnosticism is that it's basically a problem of relativity. That is, due to a person's relation to the universe, it would be impossible for one to know objectively about the existence of a god one way or another. Of course, that could also be extended to many, if not all, of man's other intellectual disciplines.


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## R (Jun 13, 2006)

danielk said:


> R said:
> 
> 
> > ... the whole religion thing just doesn't seem to be very religious-like
> ...


Ya i have looked into it in the past, and have already forgot most of what I learned. Just like any other religion there are many forms of it, so now days I just keep it easy and say its beyond mans understanding.


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## drarum (Aug 7, 2008)

I haven't read all of the previous posts, and I want to give my "unbiased" opinion (if there is such a thing, haha. I will try to be as sensitive as possible to everyone's beliefs). 

I was agnostic up until the age of 18, and I then became a Christian. I was depressed when I was agnostic (I don't think it was BECAUSE I was agnostic, just because I had SA and didn't know how to talk to people/make friends/etc. I didn't have a social group to guide me, nor did I have parental guidance). After I went to college, I began to become more social (not related to religion, just different atmosphere). I was more comfortable speaking to people. I eventually became Christian (That's another long, unrelated story). Since I was agnostic before, it was initially difficult for me to buy everything in the bible about God caring for me, etc, and TRULY believing it. But, what did INITIALLY help with Christianity was the social atmosphere of a good church -- The good friends that you could gain at a "good church" will usually help you open up. A lot of churches have "support groups" (although they don't usually call them this. My church calls them "Local Community Meetings"), but we do talk about our week/etc. It kind of makes you think on your feet and open up, become more social, and it really seemed to help me. 

With that being said, most people only have a couple social groups, like.. coworkers at your work, or people at school, etc. To an agnostic, the benefit of a church would be the addition of another social group, but also a real support group where you could possibly make life-long friends. It takes time to fully buy in to the Bible (and I won't start a debate here. I am not really a debating person. Comes with the SA, haha!), but the initial support really helped out. I think I would have been better off as a Christian when I was younger because of that social group supporting me and guiding me in a good direction. Churches teach more about life than following God. Many also teach important life lessons, how to treat your kids, how to overcome anxiety, etc. 

But then again.. I've gone to about 4 or 5 different churches in my life, and I have only found 1 that has given me the true support I need, and it is actually a Korean church with English Service (I am white, for reference, and a lot of the folks are still young adults like myself, so I think a similar age helps also). Other churches were ones that I didn't have any friends at. I just came for the service and left. Sometimes people said Hi, but that was it. I think it takes a lot of time to find a good church, but once you find one, you would have to give up a lot to lose it.

Another thing that I heard (which may not be true, and this statement is a little biased) is the following. People who are usually agnostic did not trust their father or have a good relationship with him when they were young. Either he was missing, or not guiding the child in the proper direction. Since the child couldn't trust his real father, how could you trust him to trust his eternal father, God?
Anyway, that statement described me quite well, so maybe it has some point.


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## Not So Nervous Nelly (Feb 24, 2007)

tropicalsq744 said:


> I'm one of those undecided ones (and agnostic) too, though I've been going to church a few times in the past weeks (mostly because my mum forces me to)
> 
> Last week, I "accepted" the lord (ie. said the sinners prayer) to make my mum happy. I don't know if I made the wrong decision. I mean I'm still pretty much undecided, and I lean towards the atheist side of the argument (which is where I was when I left church).
> 
> I very much want to believe in God like how I used to but it's so hard. I mean once your mind has been "opened up", its hard to believe again, especially with the childlike and simple-minded faith that evangelical churches nowadays seem to empahsize so much on..


Let me clear a few misconceptions:
You cannot and must not become a Christian just please everyone else Only God himself can enable you to come. Jesus even discouraged some people to separate those the fans from the true follower The Christian life is tough you must want it for yourself. I went through a similar crisis, but I am glad I held on because God has definitely given me strength. 
Child-like faith does not mean intellectually weak. In fact I am very much against the strain of anti-intellectalism that has prevaded the church. It means a sense of wonder. Have you ever seen a little kid. They are always so happy and joyful and carefree. It is okay to question, don't feel like you're less of believer because of it. It means you're thinking for yourself . Go the Bible too. PM me if you want to know more.


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## Not So Nervous Nelly (Feb 24, 2007)

Religious are generally happier because they have sense of purpose that extends beyond themselves.


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## SilentLoner (Jan 30, 2006)

I'm an atheist and am quite happy in life, even though my it has its nasty share of ups and downs. I was fairly miserable as a devout catholic, however.

PM me if you want to talk.


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## SadRosesAreBeautiful (May 15, 2008)

SilentLoner said:


> I'm an atheist and am quite happy in life, even though my it has its nasty share of ups and downs. I was fairly miserable as a devout catholic, however.
> 
> PM me if you want to talk.


^I was a miserable Protestant, now I'm atheist and happy with my beliefs. It just really sucks being an Atheist in the Bible-Belt, though.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

Religious belief and the lack thereof hasn't been found to correlate to happiness for me. We used to go to church pretty much every Sunday; I did the Sunday School thing when I was younger, later got baptised and confirmed and the whole bit. I believed in something called 'God' because I was told God was there. I never had a very strong belief but I did believe God was there and it knew what I was thinking and was watching over me. Even just typing this now I'm a little embarrassed by how naive I was. All through those years I wasn't any happier or sadder than I am now.

I eventually had to grow up and give up childish things. I just couldn't believe in the invisible being anymore. In many ways I found it freeing, knowing that it was up to me to chart my own path, that I wasn't some predestined automaton just fulfilling some part of a "divine plan." That's the nice part of being agnostic. The other side is realizing that there's no safety net to fall back on. No invisible being is there helping you along - it's just you and your fellow humans. Yeah, it can be scary, but also exhilarating. I don't see how it necessarily implies depression.


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## CoconutHolder (Oct 13, 2007)

^You don't have to belive in God.

But God is always there for you, if you just reach out to him/her. Its as simple as that.

You give up on God, what do you expect God to do for you?

To the OP:
I hope you find the help you need. If you think spirituality is the way to go then that may be very helpful for you. *Whatever* spiritual path you may choose. Just open up your my mind and heart and ask God for guidance/to show you the way. Pick up a book that interests you ....

I love Yoga too. Therapy and meds can work well too for some also. Good luck and hugs!


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## Gordon2108 (Oct 23, 2008)

Try not to turn this into a religious debate. I get enough of that and it wont help anyone. 

On a side note. Im an atheist-agnostic, but I wonder, would a church let an atheist-agnostic attend and go to their different 'help' things and such? 

It could be quite helpful for me, even if I dont believe in any of it.


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## TruSeeker777 (Nov 9, 2003)

You would be welcome at my Christian (non-denominational) church, Also, some churches have classes for those who are wanting to learn more about Christianity but who do not necessarily call themselves Christians. Recovery and 12-step groups at churches and synagogues are usually open to anyone as well.



Gordon2108 said:


> Try not to turn this into a religious debate. I get enough of that and it wont help anyone.
> 
> On a side note. Im an atheist-agnostic, but I wonder, would a church let an atheist-agnostic attend and go to their different 'help' things and such?
> 
> It could be quite helpful for me, even if I dont believe in any of it.


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## dreamer222 (Jan 26, 2008)

I don't feel that being agnostic or atheist automatically makes one unhappy. I'm sure there are quite a few nonreligious people out there who love life and have a very positive outlook on it. That said, I think some people may need religion in their life in order to be happy. To be agnostic or atheist, one has to accept the possibility that there may be no real meaning to life, a concept that can be rather depressing.

Personally, I'm agnostic. I was never really brought up to be a religious person. My parents were nonreligious and told me that when you died you simply didn't exist anymore; it was only when I was talking about this with my grandma that I was introduced to religion (Christianity). I actually was a Christian for quite a while and took it very seriously. But, long story short, I began to see things differently when I got older and couldn't really believe in it anymore. I don't feel that the shift has made me any less happy. It was great, sure, to believe that someone was looking after me when I was a Christian, but I became really depressed sometimes thinking of all the people who wouldn't be "saved," simply because they were brought up to follow a religion other than Christianity. Being agnostic, I see life's purpose as one big question mark. This outlook can be unsettling, but at the same time it just makes me all the more fascinated by the world around me. It's fun to ponder questions such as "How can something come out of nothing?"


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## Hot Chocolate (Sep 29, 2008)

Sadly, everytime I go into a religion, I just associate with 'bad luck' Why so? 

You see, from young, my family and I were buddhists and we frequently goes to temples to pray and even took part in many buddhist related events. But my memory of it was a bad one. Our family feel apart after that and we were constantly visited by strangers and everything wasn't stable during my childhood and fights were always so frequent. We even had an altar at home. And then there was my passing of grandpa and and the dumping of my grandma to another home and me to another home too. It was sick. I even nearly got banish down to some stupid dept. in some buddhist temple when I was working so I got angry and left. But I regretted and called back to ask for it and the manager yelled at me on the phone to look for another job instead.

Then I was in a christian school. I had people making fun of me and stuff. And there were hardcore christians just siding the bullies and even tell me to go to hell. Oh and besides, when I was young, after I got move to a relative's place, there was a group of people going round the blocks of houses preaching to people. So my grandma hook me up with them. 

Well, I was terribly shy from young so I couldn't fit into the churches' sunday school and group events. They were talking amogst themselves and besides, all they do was praising the lord and watching shows related to Jesus again again. Yes, I was bored to death.

Right now, even though I am not doing so well..but at least I got some peace and quiet. I think my situation at present is still better than when I was younger. And I am also agnostic.

It doesn't matter what religion you go or whether you are an atheist. You just have to find peace within yourself first.


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

SilentLoner said:


> I'm an atheist and am quite happy in life, even though my it has its nasty share of ups and downs. I was fairly miserable as a devout catholic, however.
> 
> PM me if you want to talk.


I'm the exact opposite. I couldn't find a faith that made sense to me (I'd tried being agnostic, United Methodist, Unitarian, Presbyterian and Episcopalian) until I found Catholicism. Something about the ritualism and the emphasis on prayer and contemplation really helps me a great deal.

It just all depends on the person and what's right for them. Luckily, in most cities there's a lot of different options religiously. I love the modern world.


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## jellyfish (Jul 3, 2008)

I don't think that religion itself makes people happy; rather, the feeling of having a life's purpose is what makes people happy. If you don't believe in any religion, you don't need to pretend to in order to have a purpose in life. Just try your best every day to give more than you take and leave your little piece of the world better off than when you got it. Sure, you won't get a divine reward for it, but isn't it enough to know that you've helped others?

I was considered a Christian once, and it made me miserable. The religious community, at least in my area, was very intolerant of differences, and basically shunned me once they realized I had a crush on another girl. I was eight at the time. That was the most unhappy period of my life, and the first time I ever remember feeling like an inferior, incomplete person. I can't imagine that the rest of the community was very happy, either. If they were, they wouldn't have had to hurt children just to make themselves feel morally superior.


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## eagleheart (Jun 14, 2007)

I'm confused. I don't think that would be why, or at least, if for you (since everyone is different) it is involved, I really doubt it would be the sole or foremost factor. Lots of agnostics are relatively happy and lots of non-agnostics aren't. I'm sorry if I'm misunderstanding the question, I got confused.


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## MeganC (Nov 23, 2008)

jellyfish said:


> I don't think that religion itself makes people happy; rather, the feeling of having a life's purpose is what makes people happy.


Exactly.
I'd classify myself as agnostic and I would say that it's more challenging to be happy as such, but it's not impossible. Agnosticism is not nihilism. Serving a higher purpose does not necessarily mean worshipping God. It can be helping to make your community a better place to live, or taking an active role as a citizen of your country and this planet. We don't have to look to the cosmos to find purpose, because there's a world right outside our doors.


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