# I think my therapist was crying



## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

a little, one of her eyes-- very watery and the whole time I was putting myself down, talking negative about myself, lack of social skills, being embarrassed of myself, etc... Should I say anything about it in the next session?


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## Gavroche (Jan 12, 2013)

What do you think would happen if you mentioned this? Or perhaps more telling, what do you want to happen after mentioning this?


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## Yer Blues (Jul 31, 2013)

That could be sign of empathy? Or that she has allergies?


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## Crimson Lotus (Jul 26, 2013)

They're all just humans after all, it could be due to a hundred reason, maybe he/she has personal issues as well. Who knows?


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## Zack (Apr 20, 2013)

It would obviously embarrass her so why do you want to mention it?


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## GlimmerBanjo (Sep 30, 2013)

Does it matter? It's not really your business actually.


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## Kalliber (Aug 18, 2012)

Well..i think you can try to do something nice..maybe she has a bad life


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## Ichigo91 (Feb 21, 2012)

Maybe she had the same problems as you which triggered negative emotions in her.


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## Wulfgar (Aug 23, 2013)

she might have just had allergies or maybe she was sensitive to the humidity or LACK of humidity in the room..sometimes that messes with my eyes too


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## AbsenceOfSound (Nov 29, 2011)

If it's bothering you, I would say something about it. I've had discussions with my therapist before about how she reacts and her body language, etc. I think therapy should be a place where you can talk openly about these things. But that's just my opinion...


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## zstandig (Sep 21, 2013)

People often tear up unintentionally.

If anything it just means she cares about her patients.


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

They often do that. It is scary.


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## sejoga (Oct 27, 2013)

I would encourage you to talk to her about it. My therapist would routinely kind of "interrupt" our sessions just to ask things like, 
"How is my reaction making you feel?" 
"What are your thoughts on what I'm saying?" 
"I noticed you just gave me a funny look... did I do something that bothered you?"
etc.

At first it was jarring, but I realized that as my therapist he was just trying to make sure that his actions, reactions, and words were contributing to our sessions. If your therapist does or says something that you're curious about or that make you uncomfortable, you should totally feel comfortable addressing that in your sessions. I think it helps you establish a working relationship with your therapist to know what's going on with them during your talks.


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## LucyClaire (Oct 30, 2013)

I have had that happen three times...once it was a therapist I did not like and it made me feel small and pitied. The other times it was very discreet and both of those people really do care. I didn't say anything but it made me see that what had happened to me did matter, it wasn't trivial. If you are comfortable with the therapist and it is discreet, not distracting then don't worry about it too much. If the tears become about the therapist and make you feel bad it is different, it is projecting.


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## Stoneface (Aug 9, 2011)

Schierke said:


> They're all just humans after all, it could be due to a hundred reason, maybe he/she has personal issues as well. Who knows?


Yeah, it happened to me once. I think it was a matter of that therapist going through a rough personal time.


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## inclaric (Nov 2, 2013)

This happened to me once. With a very young and unexperienced therapist.


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

Yer Blues said:


> That could be sign of empathy? Or that she has allergies?


This!


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## tennislover84 (May 14, 2010)

It's odd, but I was just reading an article about this on the BBC site.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-22486089

Anyway, it's happened to me a couple of times too. I didn't mention it because I was concerned that the therapist might worry that it was an inappropriate reaction on their part. But I found it quite endearing; it told me that my therapist cared enough to get upset about my sad, sad story.

When you've got social anxiety, you can find it hard not to constantly second-guess other people's thoughts, feeling and intentions. Do they really mean that? Does this person really care, or is it nothing more than a job to him/her? I found it helpful to realise that, while my therapist is not my friend, he/she does actually care.

I also agree with the people who said that if it's bothering you a lot, just ask about it. A good therapist wouldn't have any problem answering the question.


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## The Phantom Pain (Oct 6, 2010)

I personally wouldn't, but that's just me


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## compasstrail (Nov 4, 2013)

been there, done that.

I once recorded one of the "conversations" my mom had with me, because when I would tell counselors/therapists about the things she would say it always seemed like they didn't believe me.

So I secretly recorded this tape of my mom just laying into me with criticism. It went on for 25 minutes (short compared to some episodes).

My counselor only made it about halfway through it before she had to leave the room. She was crying too hard to continue.

After coming back from the bathroom, she said she had been working as a counselor at my major university for 14 years, and has never heard anything like that in her life.

Wonder why I have social anxiety when I had 18 years of that crap? No, I don't wonder at all.


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## compasstrail (Nov 4, 2013)

oops i hijacked your question to talk about myself. sorry.

in my opinion you should talk about whatever is on your mind. that's what they're paid to do.


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