# Do people talk over you or turn their attention away?



## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

It happened twice to me last night.-I was at a Memorial day event. There were lots of people,noise and coming and going.- Twice when I was talking directly to someone,mid-sentence-they just turned there attention away to someone talking nearby and started talking to them?? I know my voice is quite and I always appear timid,but WOW! If someone is clearly talking to me,I'm going to pay attention. Makes me feel like I'm invisible.:um


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## Amelia (Nov 24, 2003)

That was very rude of them. I can't recall someone doing that to me recently but I am aware when someone isn't really listening. It can be annoying, as it often seems to be the people who love the sound of their own voice and who expect you to be hanging on their every word who don't have the patience to listen to you.


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## kelly0205 (Jan 28, 2010)

When people are talking in a group and i'm included, no one ever makes eye contact with me. They will connect eyes with everyone in the group while they tell their anecdote, story, whatever, and i'm always passed over. I may as well go sit by myself rather than trying to even be present in groups. But I cannot recall the last time someone turned away when I was in midsentence though, thats pretty rude.


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## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

kelly0205-Yes,I've noticed this too! The only thing I can come up with is that maybe the speaker is making more eye contact with the others because they seem more engaged/interested in whats being said?? They're giving off more warmth than I am?


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## amene (Mar 28, 2010)

That is rude...I hate that, makes you feel like a nobody. Sometimes I talk to someone, and it's like they're hardly paying attention to me, it's mean...


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## kelly0205 (Jan 28, 2010)

Still Waters said:


> kelly0205-Yes,I've noticed this too! The only thing I can come up with is that maybe the speaker is making more eye contact with the others because they seem more engaged/interested in whats being said?? They're giving off more warmth than I am?


It could be anything. SA'rs probably seem a little unfriendly or standoffish, but that doesn't give anyone the right to be rude. I almost started a thread about this. I've tried to change how I come across, i.e. less intense stare, a little more animated, tilt the head, sit forward. Nothing works. No one wants to address me.


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## Ambivert (Jan 16, 2010)

I have the opposite problem people turn their attention to me but I try to avoid direct conversation by averting eye contact with the convo initiator, and they often get puzzled/confused when I don't reciprocate by acting normally with eye contact and animated emotion


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## rctriplefresh5 (Aug 24, 2009)

Still Waters said:


> It happened twice to me last night.-I was at a Memorial day event. There were lots of people,noise and coming and going.- Twice when I was talking directly to someone,mid-sentence-they just turned there attention away to someone talking nearby and started talking to them?? I know my voice is quite and I always appear timid,but WOW! If someone is clearly talking to me,I'm going to pay attention. Makes me feel like I'm invisible.:um


happens to me all the time. also this girl who is rude to me at work(she will talk behind my back..and act lie im not even an employee must times) asked me to get her a salad from the kitchen.(apparently the people in the kitchen never give them anything to eat,and they gave me 3 tuna sandwiches today...so i guess they like meh hahaha.

but anyway i get her a salad,and im like dont you say thank you(jokingly). she said...''i said you were the best'' im like id dint hear it. let's hear it again! and she ignored me....so i said that same sentence again,and she said nastily you're the best!!!!!!!:mum


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## hatepickingnames (May 14, 2010)

Again that is THEM being wrong not something wrong with you. I get that a lot too...people interrupt me or don't pay attention. I attribute it to their poor behavior not something faulty with me.


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## MeMe89 (Jun 25, 2009)

My mother does this to me. The only time she pays attention to me is when she has something negative to say to me or about me. She's so lovely, isnt she?


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## sparkationsgirl (Oct 25, 2008)

This happens to me a lot, because I look really young and naive. This is especially true if I'm among a group of older adults.


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## Hello22 (Feb 10, 2010)

Ya, because when i tell a story/ have a conversation, i get lost half way and forget the point of the story. 
But when i do talk in a group, usually people don't 'get' me, and get disinterested, but i don't give a **** anyway, i'll say my story! And anyway, some people who i interact with, i find their conversations meaningless especially at my job - there's alot of gossiping and politics that i tune out....... it's so not in my nature to get caught up in that crap.


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## OregonMommy (Mar 3, 2010)

I hate that too and it's happened oh so many times! I try to not take it too personally but if that person passes you over they weren't worth talking to in the first place if they can't be polite/nice enough.


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## gray1 (Jan 4, 2011)

For many years i have had similar experiences mostly in work. I would be mid conversation with a collogue some one would walk in the room and i would be completely ignored. I thought at first it was because i looked young for my age but not any more as its been going on for a long time. I wondered if i talk to much or just boring. Football has a lot to do with it as i do not follow the game so no nothing about it and a lot of lads talk footy. This can make you have a complex or feel a bit depressed if it has been going on for a long time. i learned to ignore it now if someone stops talking to me rudely, i just immediately walk away. You can choose your friends But they may not choose you.


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## losinghope (Mar 29, 2011)

I know this feeling a little too well.

Whenever i am with a group of people even my family, they always talk to everyone and look at everyone but me. And it makes you feel so invisable and like you are just a little kid in the room. I think it is incredibly insensitive.

But i'm also happy in a way cause i can just leave sometimes and i feel like no one even notices but it is very depressing at times cause you feel like you are not heard or respected because of your problem with social anxiety


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