# Have you ever been rejected by the opposite sex so many times that you don't date?



## witherwings (Feb 17, 2011)

I've been rejected by every single guy I've ever liked. Combine this with my extreme shyness and recent social anxiety and you get a girl who does not date. Everytime I ever even smile at a guy that I like, he brings out his girlfriend the next time I see him. I have an awful radar for guys that are already taken.

Do you think you are undesirable, unworthy, and basically not worth loving? I do. And I'm struggling with it. Because somewhere inside I know I'm lovable and have good qualities, but can't seem to convince guys of this. People keep saying I'm pretty, which disgusts me, because that doesn't equate to being loved and accepted. 

The only guys who approach me are scary guys with huge beards, guys a lot older than me, and psycho-desperate men. I try to project a calm and put together image and am constantly studying. So I don't know why these types are drawn to me. 

Do you ever wish you could attract someone that is normal to you? Rather than freaks and weirdos? How do you stop attracting predators to you if you already feel like a victim and insecure about your life?


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## Pani (Feb 17, 2011)

witherwings said:


> I've been rejected by every single guy I've ever liked. Combine this with my extreme shyness and recent social anxiety and you get a girl who does not date. Everytime I ever even smile at a guy that I like, he brings out his girlfriend the next time I see him. I have an awful radar for guys that are already taken.
> 
> Do you think you are undesirable, unworthy, and basically not worth loving? I do. And I'm struggling with it. Because somewhere inside I know I'm lovable and have good qualities, but can't seem to convince guys of this. People keep saying I'm pretty, which disgusts me, because that doesn't equate to being loved and accepted.
> 
> ...


_I do not believe one is defined by a job, a disorder, or a relationship. You are not to question if you are worthy of love, (it is if another is worthy of yours). Everyone has the right to be loved and respected.. You are not an exception to this, but a reason for it. _
_That you first.. feel selfless enough to try to put the blame inward instead of putting it on another human being, shows great quality.._

_Love you~ the rest will follow.. _


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## JamieHasAnxiety (Feb 15, 2011)

Not really, luckily for me. I don't flirt or anything with anyone, I love my girlfriend and wouldnt dare tread waters to 'find out'. I know I could, but its one of those things where it doesnt cross my mind. 

But honestly, even if my girlfriend and I split up, I think I would like to be alone for awhile. Relationships can be hard work you know?


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## i just want luv (Feb 13, 2011)

Ive made 3 attemps. 1st. in 2nd grade a girl I crushed on had her friend say "she doesnt like you because my race." (echos in my head till this day)

2nd. In 8th grade got a yes on V-day, It was one of the happiest days of my life. Then the next day I got turned down soon as I saw her in the morning.

3rd. 2 years ago I was shut down because I was too short. She was nice about it and gave me false complaments. I dropped out of school that year.

Im just trying to protect my heart these days.


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## fictionmachine (Feb 16, 2011)

Yeah, sometimes I feel this way. "There's nothing wrong with you," they say, but hey, I'm still single. And I also got rejected by someone to whom I told that I like him. But I just said that, "Oh, we didn't match, it's alright! The spark just wasn't there, right?". He was surprised at how lightly I took it. It hurts me a lot deep inside. As far as I know, he's been dating cute girls and I secretly think he thinks I'm not cute enough. But, at least I walked out in style. And one day, he made a FollowFriday for me in his Twitter, saying, "Follow her, a girl with character."

I'm still messed up and single, but girl, don't lose your style. I'm sure you're a pretty cool girl. You will have some respect by the people who even reject you  Go go go!


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## ferrellwolf (Jan 7, 2010)

i just want luv said:


> Ive made 3 attemps. 1st. in 2nd grade a girl I crushed on had her friend say "she doesnt like you because your black." (echos in my head till this day)
> 
> 2nd. In 8th grade got a yes on V-day, It was one of the happiest days of my life. Then the next day I got turned down soon as I saw her in the morning.
> 
> ...


Wow, I feel for you man; I didn't think second graders knew how to discriminate based on color. I honestly don't remember anyone caring about race when I was that young, in fact almost everyone in my school was dating (if you can call it that) outside of their race because nobody ever made a big deal out of it. Anyway, don't let that memory be a road block to your well being, there are plenty of women out there that don't care what color you are as long as your a decent guy.


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## ambergris (Oct 15, 2010)

Well, you're getting approached by guys you don't want, which is obviously annoying but it does suggest that you don't have a problem attracting guys _per se_, so sooner or later one of the guys you like is going to like you back.

In the meantime, do you wear glasses? If you don't, start. I'm serious. When my sister started wearing contacts she immediately started attracting unwanted attention, but when she switches back to glasses it evaporates like magic. I've always worn glasses and have never had any male attention at all. They are really good at weeding out the random chancers. Or you could gain some weight. That's even better.


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## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

Every guy I liked rejected me, so I dont even try because most men already hate me when they see me. This has been happening ever since I have been a young girl. All the other girls can get boyfriends, but something about me is very different from others.


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## foodie (Apr 27, 2010)

.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

I've never gotten the chance to be rejected.


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## AlekParker (Oct 31, 2006)

how many times have you been rejected in your life?


sounds like you might have rejected more men than you have been rejected by...


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## stranger25 (Apr 29, 2010)

It seems to me like you are just automatically judging guys based on their appearance. How do you know if they are psychos or not.


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## Godless1 (Aug 1, 2008)

[/QUOTE]*The only guys who approach me are scary guys with huge beards, guys a lot older than me, and psycho-desperate men. I try to project a calm and put together image and am constantly studying. So I don't know why these types are drawn to me.

Do you ever wish you could attract someone that is normal to you? Rather than freaks and weirdos? How do you stop attracting predators to you if you already feel like a victim and insecure about your life?*[/QUOTE]

This is what sticks out to me. You sound uncannily similar to all the guys around here who claim that all the datable chicks only go for the pompous jerks. Maybe you need to take a second look at the desperate guy. Since you are an attractive girl, those are the type of guys that will treat you like a queen. You might want to reconsider how you judge potential boyfriends. You're not going to get very far in the dating world if you are shallowly judging guys you don't even know. Sorry, but I have a medium sized beard and certainly could be seen as desperate, so I was a little offended by this (half kidding).


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## Destined2B (Jan 6, 2011)

No, haven't been rejected yet. Too hard to even get to the asking stage, let alone get rejected. 
Some people keep blowing money on lotteries and never win, and some people just never play.


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

I've only been rejected a few times, but that was enough to permanently put me off trying again.


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## Hot Chocolate (Sep 29, 2008)

I never ask seriously but I do get rejected in the past when I went for blind meetups after we talk online for a while.

After 18, everything was like blaaaaahhhhh. I never did any asking. So no rejections.


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## emptybottle2 (Jan 18, 2009)

deleted


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## JGreenwood (Jan 28, 2011)

What's so scary about huge beards??


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## Loggerman (Feb 18, 2011)

witherwings said:


> People keep saying I'm pretty, which disgusts me, because that doesn't equate to being loved and accepted.


Same here, I'm a man. Girls flirt with me but they don't want to date me. The worst part is hearing how you're attractive is that you feel you're wasting it. And wake up old one day and "missed the train."



> The only guys who approach me are scary guys with huge beards, guys a lot older than me, and psycho-desperate men. I try to project a calm and put together image and am constantly studying. So I don't know why these types are drawn to me.


Some older men with beards can get any young super model they want. Some men, like 1% of all men, improve as they age, just like wine.










Well maybe not young models, but he still looks good for being bald and 80 years old.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

I did get rejected by the one guy I actually liked but it was for the better anyways since I'm a killjoy. He saved himself if anything. But I never had a chance to reject anyone because guys my age don't talk to me, except for 40-60 year old dudes on bus stops and such. I've given up on dating because it's way too hard to even find someone that would have enough in common with me and actually tolerate my quietness.


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## Cosmic (Feb 7, 2011)

I'd rather be rejected by some guy I have a crush on then broken up with by somebody with whom I'm in a relationship. I've experienced both. Having a crush reject you can be a blow to your self esteem, it can make you feel as though you're not good enough, and it can be pretty depressing. Being dumped by somebody you're in love with goes beyond that. It's heartbreak. Rejection doesn't make me want to stop dating -- eventually somebody will show interest in me again. No, it's fear of having my heart broken again. It makes part of me want to run screaming at the first sign of a possible romance.


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## ambergris (Oct 15, 2010)

> You might want to reconsider how you judge potential boyfriends. You're not going to get very far in the dating world if you are shallowly judging guys you don't even know.


Wow, you are so right. We should all be open to dating guys we don't like or find attractive. Because, you know, guys are so totally into the idea of dating women they're not interested in, it's only fair if we reciprocate with a similar disregard for looks, personality and sexual chemistry :roll

It's kind of an integral part of 'the dating world' that a) you get judged according to your appearance, behaviour and general demeanour and b) if you put yourself out there, you risk rejection. I've asked two guys out, got rejected by both. I already knew perfectly well that men don't find me attractive and I only went there because I wanted some form of closure on my hopeless crushes. And then I gave up, because really, if you get to your thirties without so much as a flicker of male interest in you it's a pretty good indication that you should either give up or become a lesbian. Since women don't float my boat, I gave up.

_That's_ how the dating world works. Some of us don't belong in it. You can either spend your life being bitter and railing against the shallowness of the rest of the world (as if they had a choice in who they fancy, any more than we do) or you can move on and embrace the other things life has to offer.


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## Loggerman (Feb 18, 2011)

ambergris said:


> Wow, you are so right. We should all be open to dating guys we don't like or find attractive. Because, you know, guys are so totally into the idea of dating women they're not interested in, it's only fair if we reciprocate with a similar disregard for looks, personality and sexual chemistry :roll


Speak for yourself. I'm a man and I want to date women. I don't just want sex. I would be happy with kisses before marriage... :|



> It's kind of an integral part of 'the dating world' that a) you get judged according to your appearance, behaviour and general demeanour and b) if you put yourself out there, you risk rejection. I've asked two guys out, got rejected by both. I already knew perfectly well that men don't find me attractive and I only went there because I wanted some form of closure on my hopeless crushes. And then I gave up, because really, if you get to your thirties without so much as a flicker of male interest in you it's a pretty good indication that you should either give up or become a lesbian. Since women don't float my boat, I gave up.


Age doesn't matter. There are women over 40 who are hotter than most around 20.



> _That's_ how the dating world works. Some of us don't belong in it. You can either spend your life being bitter and railing against the shallowness of the rest of the world (as if they had a choice in who they fancy, any more than we do) or you can move on and embrace the other things life has to offer.


Agreed!


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

I've never been rejected by women because I refuse to approach them, or show explicit interest. However, I seem to be completely ignored by them and can't remember a single instance of being flirted with. Since high school, anyway. I take it as an sign that it's useless to put any effort into the matter, so I don't.


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## UnknownDaniel (Apr 24, 2010)

shadowmask said:


> I've never been rejected by women because I refuse to approach them, or show explicit interest. However, I seem to be completely ignored by them and can't remember a single instance of being flirted with. Since high school, anyway. I take it as an sign that it's useless to put any effort into the matter, so I don't.


:ditto


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## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

Been rejected zero times because I'm afraid of asking a girl out.

Which is funny because when I was younger I probably wouldn't have been afraid, but I didnt want to because all the guys would tease me about being a girl liker


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## rdp234 (Jan 13, 2011)

Rejection is hard. It can throw you off and make you believe that you're not good enough. I went through it. I was married and things got bad and for a while I gave up, but then I realized I wasn't so bad and now things are a lot better. Don't give up and don't let what anyone else thinks get you down. Not everyone is going to like you, but you'll find someone. Hang in there.


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

This Valentine's Day, the guy I was dating dumped me. He was one of only two guys who ever called me back after the first date. He never kissed me or anything so I still haven't had my first kiss at the age of 26. Talk about being an old maid :/

I thought about putting up a new OKCupid profile... but I realized its not going to help.


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## bitoqueen (Feb 18, 2011)

Don't get me started. Every guy I've had the guts to ask out have rejected me. That's why I've never had a boyfriend. I'm painfully shy too, so that doesn't help me. I really want to know what it's like to be with a guy that u love.


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## Johnny_Genome (Nov 11, 2003)

I'm pretty sure SAD is a big part of my dating problem -- probably 99% of it.


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## chwol (Feb 19, 2011)

witherwings said:


> I've been rejected by every single guy I've ever liked. Combine this with my extreme shyness and recent social anxiety and you get a girl who does not date. Everytime I ever even smile at a guy that I like, he brings out his girlfriend the next time I see him. I have an awful radar for guys that are already taken.
> 
> Do you think you are undesirable, unworthy, and basically not worth loving? I do. And I'm struggling with it. Because somewhere inside I know I'm lovable and have good qualities, but can't seem to convince guys of this. People keep saying I'm pretty, which disgusts me, because that doesn't equate to being loved and accepted.
> 
> ...


well it's difficult, it's the mating game -just get on with it - is the answer, more difficult to achieve than that if course,

but really, if you go into a venue of I don't know , 100 people - the reality is that you will actually only be attracted to, what 4 of them.

Humans, even now are programmed to understand only small communities - anything you can do - to return to this will help you - i.e things you might be interested in - dance, etc.,


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## Omnium11 (Feb 11, 2009)

Ughhhhh! I just got dumped by girl I've been dating for the past couple weeks not 5 minutes ago! Horrible feeling. God I don't know how much longer I can live this way.

She said the felt more with the guy she was with last night than she ever did with me.


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## Stantheman (Oct 11, 2010)

Well in highschool a girl went very far out of her way to make sure I would never try to engage a girl in any sort of romantic situations, and I gotta say she did a good job of scaring me.


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## rdp234 (Jan 13, 2011)

If you worry about rejection you're more likely to be rejected. That's how it works. If you don't care, you can't really be hurt and people like that. People don't like when you're too clingy or dependent. No one does. I think that's one of the reasons why my marriage didn't work out. When I first met her, I didn't care and it was great. Then I became dependent and things got bad. Now I don't care again and things are good again. I can get any woman I want. I believe that, at least and if I get rejected, I really don't care. Their loss.


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## Destined2B (Jan 6, 2011)

rdp234 said:


> If you worry about rejection you're more likely to be rejected. That's how it works. If you don't care, you can't really be hurt and people like that. People don't like when you're too clingy or dependent. No one does. I think that's one of the reasons why my marriage didn't work out. When I first met her, I didn't care and it was great. Then I became dependent and things got bad. Now I don't care again and things are good again. I can get any woman I want. I believe that, at least and if I get rejected, I really don't care. Their loss.


Finally a breath of fresh air. lol


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## woot (Aug 7, 2009)

Omnium11 said:


> Ughhhhh! I just got dumped by girl I've been dating for the past couple weeks not 5 minutes ago! Horrible feeling. God I don't know how much longer I can live this way.
> 
> She said the felt more with the guy she was with last night than she ever did with me.


Dude you are an attractive man. Her loss, let her go, she was wasting your time. Now go find a better girl


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Omnium11 said:


> Ughhhhh! I just got dumped by girl I've been dating for the past couple weeks not 5 minutes ago! Horrible feeling. God I don't know how much longer I can live this way.
> 
> She said the felt more with the guy she was with last night than she ever did with me.


Oh Good Lord, I am sorry you went through that. I can't believe she would say that. :no
You are still SAS's version of a young Marlon Brando, so you will definitely have other chances with da ladeeeez! :yes


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

Never rejected because never approached anybody. Which is fine by me. I'm not willing to gamble away what is left of my self-esteem on the off chance that I *might* have a romance (no guarantees to its duration either). Too big a price to pay for potentially nothing in return.

No thanks.


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## krista91 (Feb 11, 2011)

ambergris said:


> Wow, you are so right. We should all be open to dating guys we don't like or find attractive. Because, you know, guys are so totally into the idea of dating women they're not interested in, it's only fair if we reciprocate with a similar disregard for looks, personality and sexual chemistry :roll


Of course you shouldn't, nobody should. But then, you have to realise, if you're going to reject other by their looks or attraction (and it's perfectly okay to do so, because hey, if you're not attracted to someone, it's not going to anywhere anyway), then other people have the right to reject you, too. So.. Why back off dating just because you've been rejected *if* you reject others as well?


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## Omnium11 (Feb 11, 2009)

millenniumman75 said:


> Oh Good Lord, I am sorry you went through that. I can't believe she would say that. :no
> You are still SAS's version of a young Marlon Brando, so you will definitely have other chances with da ladeeeez! :yes


Aw thanks guys

Last night was really depressing, very suicidal. I woke up today, maybe its just the Klonopin that was just prescribed to me, but I'm feeling great! Time to find a new woman! I guess I don't regret taking that risk at all. Besides she bought me a bottle of pretty decent cologne and all I could afford for her was a cheap box of chocolate a homemade card and a bitter bottle of wine. Score! I definitely came out on top lol. Definitely learned a bunch about what NOT to do in a relationship and while dating.

Also I'm only going to date the shy / sensitive girls from now on. Going to try another social anxiety meetup group and then perhaps a bipolar one as well. I really think if we just all started dating eachother we would be much happier.

Stay away from Craigslist. People there are liars and cheaters.



rdp234 said:


> If you worry about rejection you're more likely to be rejected. That's how it works. If you don't care, you can't really be hurt and people like that. People don't like when you're too clingy or dependent. No one does. I think that's one of the reasons why my marriage didn't work out. When I first met her, I didn't care and it was great. Then I became dependent and things got bad. Now I don't care again and things are good again. I can get any woman I want. I believe that, at least and if I get rejected, I really don't care. Their loss.


Words of truth!


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## Sandwhich (Jan 26, 2012)

...mm..I've given up on dating at my age because.. every single day at school its hell.. I keep to my self and that left me with almost to no friends at all.. I think due to my s.a.d my sense of existance is close to none at all but it still feels horrible walking in the hallways in my entire life I've only confessed four times. And three were by notes(is always write them alone because of my fear of other guys thinking I'm weird.) And of all the confessions I've always been rejected.. it sucks.. I've never been to a party in my life.. or anywhere at all actually urgh.. life sucks. :l just a few minutes ago I found this site. And I'm still having problems writing here cause you guys might reject me just like the rest of the world.


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## Loser Name (Jan 26, 2012)

Rejections: 0
Attempts: 0

Success! :um

I am very extreme avoidant.


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## im Lost (Dec 4, 2010)

i got rejected by a girl yes it was humiliating


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## Russ2012 (Jan 23, 2012)

My mother has always said that for ever product in a store thereis a buyer and thats what keeps me going when i know that my life is going by me without that special someone P.S. Its funny how there are so many lonely,nice and good looking people and they are so lonely while the once who deserve to be alone are happy,maybe its because they r cheap unlike some products in a store :yes .


witherwings said:


> I've been rejected by every single guy I've ever liked. Combine this with my extreme shyness and recent social anxiety and you get a girl who does not date. Everytime I ever even smile at a guy that I like, he brings out his girlfriend the next time I see him. I have an awful radar for guys that are already taken.
> 
> Do you think you are undesirable, unworthy, and basically not worth loving? I do. And I'm struggling with it. Because somewhere inside I know I'm lovable and have good qualities, but can't seem to convince guys of this. People keep saying I'm pretty, which disgusts me, because that doesn't equate to being loved and accepted.
> 
> ...


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## Beelz (Jan 22, 2012)

aside from loosing my virginity the only contact ive had with females is questionable im at a point were i dont see people and feel attracted but getting to know somebody is not gunna happen when your too afraid to even start a conversation with em... so i supose its almost like being back a sqaure one.


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## brownzerg (Jan 8, 2012)

I've been rejected and friend-zoned so many times I have lost count. I'm not sure what its been about me over the years that is so glaringly unattractive, thought it over plenty of times and I just have theories. 
I try to be a good friend and often have no trouble making and maintaining meaningful friendships with women, its just taking that step forward into something more that just isn't happening. Trust me I have asked/tried but they just don't seem interested in me in that way, or kinda patronize me in response...like "awww so cute, you'll find someone some day". 
Some of my female friends have honestly thought I was gay! I'm not sure where in the hell they get that from since I don't have nearly enough fashion sense or take care of myself enough to even come off like a homosexual. 

I usually end up occupying the 'guy friend for guy questions' spot and the 'relationship advice/counselor' spot. It used to make me feel good since I was in some way shape or form partly involved in making her happy but after so many years and so many different girls/women, ending up in the same spot over and over just wears on you.

I'm not sure what to do much these days, although I try my very best to keep a positive attitude and outlook despite the mountain of evidence to the contrary. 
Some days I feel as though the girl that was meant for me died in a pool long ago :| (long story but that actually did happen, only meaningful relationship ive had so far in my life.)

So yeah, needless to say i can empathize


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## Ponceau 4R (Nov 17, 2011)

brownzerg said:


> I usually end up occupying the 'guy friend for guy questions' spot and the 'relationship advice/counselor' spot.


there's a neat phrase for that: hairy girlfriend


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Yes. Every guy that I have ever liked or found attractive has found out and been absolutely disgusted because of the way I look. Upon finding out, they would usually say something along the lines of "EWWWWW! HAHA, she's so ugly, I can't believe she thought she had a chance with me!" Men never approach me or even look in my direction, and I have been called ugly countless times, especially buy the guys I used to be attracted to. Because of all this, I have given up on liking people and wanting to date - why bother if I am too ugly for all guys? I am learning to accept the fact that I am far too ugly for any guy to ever like me, and that I will be alone forever. It's really hard for me because I wanted to get married and have children eventually, but it's clear that I can't achieve those goals. I think that because I was born so hideous that NO guys will like me, I was just meant to be single.



witherwings said:


> People keep saying I'm pretty, which disgusts me, because that doesn't equate to being loved and accepted.


THIS THIS THIS!!!!!!!!! I'm sick and tired of people telling me that! If it were really true, I would have a boyfriend, or at least have guys approaching me/showing interest. Every time people compliment me on my looks (which is often, unfortunately), I just think of how untrue it is, based on the fact that guys call me ugly and never show any interest in me. I don't need anyone's pity.


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## Ponceau 4R (Nov 17, 2011)

tbyrfan said:


> they would usually say (...) " (...) she's so ugly, I can't believe she thought she had a chance with me!"


a man doesn't say something like that. except gays maybe


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## radiancia (Apr 6, 2011)

This is really such a common human dilemma...the odds of probability. I really find it amazing that there are so many relationships and marriages because its just such a rare thing statistically, to find someone you are attracted to and compatible with who will also feel the same about you. 

I definitely understand this problem. Guys who like me = none Im attracted to, or they're obvious players/d-bags. Guys I like = none ever like me. Its a sad puzzle, but what can you do?


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## smt074 (Dec 16, 2011)

Yes I've been turned down by every woman that I've truly been into (that I've had the courage to let them know). On the flip side I've turned down every woman that has ever really been into me.

Guess I can't really complain about it.

But yes, dating now seems like a chore to me even though I strongly desire female companionship.


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## primalrose (Sep 28, 2010)

So there really is something about the social anxiety/quiet vibe that attracts the weirdos and psychopaths. Lol. I have no idea why, its like they can smell it a mile away. I kept attracting the worst kind of people in my life, most with severe mental problems who'd abuse me or did not understand basic ettiqute. Some were on drugs, some were so sociopathic I can't describe it. One decided to go have sex with a girl just because he couldn't get laid while degrading her behind her back and revealing his deep hatred of women. He hated everybody but he so nice to them to their face. Not that mental issues equals bad person but when they start severely abusing you or lack basic ettique, well yeah there's a problem. It really scared me after a couple of years and I started to question myself.

I learnt after a while it was because I was I severely lacking self-worth and came off as way too nice to the wrong people. The wrong kinds of people will leech onto you and take advantage of you if you let it.


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

Well i am avoidant so i've never in my life asked a girl out. I'm just too afraid of rejection, and i guess i rather live a life of frustration than have my already pathetically low self esteem reach Australia! (down under)

A female online friend whom i have met a few times rejected me even though i never asked her out. 

My ex therapist asked me if ''wouldn't you prefer to know if she liked you as more than a friend or not?''


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## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

witherwings said:


> I've been rejected by every single guy I've ever liked. *Combine this with my extreme shyness and recent social anxiety and you get a girl who does not date. Everytime I ever even smile at a guy that I like, he brings out his girlfriend the next time I see him. I have an awful radar for guys that are already taken.*
> 
> Do you think you are undesirable, unworthy, and basically not worth loving? I do. And I'm struggling with it. *Because somewhere inside I know I'm lovable and have good qualities, but can't seem to convince guys of this. People keep saying I'm pretty, which disgusts me, because that doesn't equate to being loved and accepted. *
> 
> ...


OMG! I have the same problems! Thats why I kept making threads on the signs of someone who is cursed. Because the guys always has a girlfriend. I mean, every guy I like!!!!!

I think something is definitely wrong with me! Psychos and crazy guys are drawn to me too even though I have a very cool demeanor.

Girl, I hope that u find a guy that u want because you deserve it


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## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

smt074 said:


> Yes I've been turned down by every woman that I've truly been into (that I've had the courage to let them know). On the flip side I've turned down every woman that has ever really been into me.
> 
> Guess I can't really complain about it.
> 
> But yes, dating now seems like a chore to me even though I strongly desire female companionship.


Same here.


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## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

radiancia said:


> This is really such a common human dilemma...the odds of probability. I really find it amazing that there are so many relationships and marriages because its just such a rare thing statistically, to find someone you are attracted to and compatible with who will also feel the same about you.
> 
> I definitely understand this problem. Guys who like me = none Im attracted to, or they're obvious players/d-bags. Guys I like = none ever like me. Its a sad puzzle, but what can you do?


Yep, this is the same dilemma Ive always had.


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## tohellandback (Aug 28, 2011)

I haven't really had the chance to be rejected when I'm too scared to ask the girl out in the first place. That's where I am at too. There is a girl I currently like but am too scared to ask her out. I can imagine else asking her out really soon and me getting super depressed because I should have asked her out but couldn't.


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## ZEROMOTION (Jan 27, 2012)

gaz said:


> A female online friend whom i have met a few times rejected me even though i never asked her out.


Brutal.

Sometimes I think we SA males make things way harder than they have to be. I mean, what if we just walked up to girls we found attractive and were like "Hey, you seem awesome. How does lunch with me on Friday sound?"

If you get rejected you walk away and try again until you find the candy bar with the golden ticket. I mean if its a numbers game you're bound to have the dice roll in your favor eventually.

Unfortunately, I have never had the balls to just start doing this.


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## shynesshellasucks (May 10, 2008)

I never asked a girl out because I know I will get rejected. I also don't like the idea of asking random girls out because it is hard (especially for someone like me who has zero social skills). I think meeting girls through friends is much more easier and effective. I just wish I had friends who have connections with girls I find attractive. My friends know several girls, but I find none of them attractive.


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## gmdrew (Jan 8, 2012)

Yes...I have been rejected a lot. People are such *******s. I know I am not a model but at the same time I don't think I am that bad looking...yet somehow I get rejected often. It sucks. I have seen girls with ugler guys than me and women with boyfriends that treat them like dog crap. So why do i get rejected? If only people could see the inner beauty of others...I mean I treat a significant other like gold while at the same time treating her like a person plus really loving that person. yet I get cheated on, dumped, or just forgotten about. I just want to find someone who loves me back the way I love them. So yes, I think about giving up on dating all the time but at the same time I hate being alone...and so the viscious cycle repeats...:no


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

The thread title alone is partially why I'm on this site. Each rejection I get wrecks my confidence and increases frustration. I just feel that I'm too good of a guy to keep getting rejected over and over.


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

ZEROMOTION said:


> Brutal.
> 
> Sometimes I think we SA males make things way harder than they have to be. I mean, what if we just walked up to girls we found attractive and were like "Hey, you seem awesome. How does lunch with me on Friday sound?"
> 
> ...


Well, i never directly asked her out. It started off when i first met her in 2008 in person. Before i met her i thought that i'd just see her as a friend, but it soon changed. I interputed her saying ''you are special and i'm glad i met you'' as her being attracted to me. I've visited her a few time since but i never let my feelings known for fear of rejection. In 2009 she asked me if i loved her in email and i said yes, but then she put me in the friend zone.

Yeah life is about rejection but ''normal'' guys just keep trying. If you have low self esteem that rejection continues to eat away at it.


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

gmdrew said:


> Yes...I have been rejected a lot. People are such *******s. I know I am not a model but at the same time I don't think I am that bad looking...yet somehow I get rejected often. It sucks. I have seen girls with ugler guys than me and women with boyfriends that treat them like dog crap. So why do i get rejected? If only people could see the inner beauty of others...I mean I treat a significant other like gold while at the same time treating her like a person plus really loving that person. yet I get cheated on, dumped, or just forgotten about. I just want to find someone who loves me back the way I love them. So yes, I think about giving up on dating all the time but at the same time I hate being alone...and so the viscious cycle repeats...:no


That sucks real bad:no


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## Ponceau 4R (Nov 17, 2011)

gaz said:


> life is about rejection but ''normal'' guys just keep trying


by "normal guys" you mean "_real_ men"?


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

Ponceau 4R said:


> by "normal guys" you mean "_real_ men"?


I mean as in men who don't have depression/anxiety/low self esteem issues.


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## Secretly Pretentious (Dec 18, 2011)

What I find fascinating about myself is that I gave up on dating long before I even bothered to try. I feel worthless and flawed and undesirable, but it isn't because I was ever rejected. I had just always assumed that I was unlovable. I was convinced that that putting myself out there was foolish and that it would be an inconvenience for the other person. 

I honestly have never thought about it in this context until now, but my first crush was in 3rd grade. Without ever really talking to him, I assumed that I would be rejected. So I completely pushed my feelings away and never let on to anybody that I thought anything of him. Years later in high school, after my crush on him had long worn off, I learned from my mother that he was crushing on me right back the entire time. I had always thought that my self-defeating self-conceptions started to plague me around 7th grade...but now I'm beginning to wonder if it's been a part of me for much, much longer.


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## dkriot (Dec 12, 2011)

Secretly Pretentious said:


> I honestly have never thought about it in this context until now, but my first crush was in 3rd grade. Without ever really talking to him, I assumed that I would be rejected. So I completely pushed my feelings away and never let on to anybody that I thought anything of him. Years later in high school, after my crush on him had long worn off, I learned from my mother that he was crushing on me right back the entire time. I had always thought that* my self-defeating self-conceptions* started to plague me around 7th grade...but now I'm beginning to wonder if it's been a part of me for much, much longer.


This is it for me too. I have this image of myself and it is hard to tell if it is grounded in reality or if I am have a warped sense of self image. You can never trust family or friends because they will tell you are blah, blah, blah but you can kind of tell they are just lying to be nice. At least you are part cyborg and can club people with your titanium enhanced arm when you are feeling down. I have no plan B. :|


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## brownzerg (Jan 8, 2012)

Secretly Pretentious said:


> What I find fascinating about myself is that I gave up on dating long before I even bothered to try. I feel worthless and flawed and undesirable, but it isn't because I was ever rejected. I had just always assumed that I was unlovable. I was convinced that that putting myself out there was foolish and that it would be an inconvenience for the other person.
> 
> I honestly have never thought about it in this context until now, but my first crush was in 3rd grade. Without ever really talking to him, I assumed that I would be rejected. So I completely pushed my feelings away and never let on to anybody that I thought anything of him. Years later in high school, after my crush on him had long worn off, I learned from my mother that he was crushing on me right back the entire time. I had always thought that my self-defeating self-conceptions started to plague me around 7th grade...but now I'm beginning to wonder if it's been a part of me for much, much longer.


Aww  thats so cute and sad at the same time  *hugs*

I'm trying to get out of the 'not trying' part but I've taken about a 3 year hiatus so far in trying to date and talk to women. It adds up to being about 10 years since my last (and only) meaningful relationship. So far no luck as per usual, but also i'm so bad at flirting and trying anyway that I usually don't have decent luck. Or I see that someone else is already chatting with them and I feel like I can't compete with that guy cause he's so much cooler than I am in my eyes. Trust me i've finished second in that kindof contest more often than i'd care to recall heh.

I just keep tryin' cause i dont know any better


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## gusstaf (Jan 1, 2012)

Secretly Pretentious said:


> What I find fascinating about myself is that I gave up on dating long before I even bothered to try. I feel worthless and flawed and undesirable, but it isn't because I was ever rejected. I had just always assumed that I was unlovable. I was convinced that that putting myself out there was foolish and that it would be an inconvenience for the other person.


Sounds exactly like me. I've been broken up with once, but I've otherwise never outright been rejected. I just have always assumed that any guy would dump me the second he found out about the SA, depression and everything else.


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## Secretly Pretentious (Dec 18, 2011)

dkriot said:


> This is it for me too. I have this image of myself and it is hard to tell if it is grounded in reality or if I am have a warped sense of self image. You can never trust family or friends because they will tell you are blah, blah, blah but you can kind of tell they are just lying to be nice. At least you are part cyborg and can club people with your titanium enhanced arm when you are feeling down. I have no plan B. :|


YES! THAT'S ME! THAT'S ME! THAT'S ME!







It's so frustrating not knowing for sure how the world perceives you.



brownzerg said:


> Aww  thats so cute and sad at the same time  *hugs*
> 
> I'm trying to get out of the 'not trying' part but I've taken about a 3 year hiatus so far in trying to date and talk to women. It adds up to being about 10 years since my last (and only) meaningful relationship. So far no luck as per usual, but also i'm so bad at flirting and trying anyway that I usually don't have decent luck. Or I see that someone else is already chatting with them and I feel like I can't compete with that guy cause he's so much cooler than I am in my eyes. Trust me i've finished second in that kindof contest more often than i'd care to recall heh.
> 
> I just keep tryin' cause i dont know any better


Well, you've been braver than I have. But I'm trying to change. I don't feel ready yet to initiate a relationship, but I made myself promise not to turn down a date if I found whoever asked to be pleasant. I just recently started wearing makeup in attempt to look attractive to men. No more of this "I'm-too-ugly-to-bother-anyway" crap!







Keep fighting for love, my SAS brother!


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## offbyone (May 5, 2010)

Secretly Pretentious said:


> What I find fascinating about myself is that I gave up on dating long before I even bothered to try. I feel worthless and flawed and undesirable, but it isn't because I was ever rejected. I had just always assumed that I was unlovable. I was convinced that that putting myself out there was foolish and that it would be an inconvenience for the other person.
> 
> I honestly have never thought about it in this context until now, but my first crush was in 3rd grade. Without ever really talking to him, I assumed that I would be rejected. So I completely pushed my feelings away and never let on to anybody that I thought anything of him. Years later in high school, after my crush on him had long worn off, I learned from my mother that he was crushing on me right back the entire time. I had always thought that my self-defeating self-conceptions started to plague me around 7th grade...but now I'm beginning to wonder if it's been a part of me for much, much longer.


This sounds exactly like me, just with not approaching women. I'm starting to try though!


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## tsipp (Jun 2, 2012)

*tbyrfan*



tbyrfan said:


> Yes. Every guy that I have ever liked or found attractive has found out and been absolutely disgusted because of the way I look. Upon finding out, they would usually say something along the lines of "EWWWWW! HAHA, she's so ugly, I can't believe she thought she had a chance with me!" Men never approach me or even look in my direction, and I have been called ugly countless times, especially buy the guys I used to be attracted to. Because of all this, I have given up on liking people and wanting to date - why bother if I am too ugly for all guys? I am learning to accept the fact that I am far too ugly for any guy to ever like me, and that I will be alone forever. It's really hard for me because I wanted to get married and have children eventually, but it's clear that I can't achieve those goals. I think that because I was born so hideous that NO guys will like me, I was just meant to be single.
> 
> THIS THIS THIS!!!!!!!!! I'm sick and tired of people telling me that! If it were really true, I would have a boyfriend, or at least have guys approaching me/showing interest. Every time people compliment me on my looks (which is often, unfortunately), I just think of how untrue it is, based on the fact that guys call me ugly and never show any interest in me. I don't need anyone's pity.


If you don't want to be alone maybe you should be more open to someone who does want you. I know you said no guy has ever approached you, but there has to be someone out there. What would you do if another female liked you, would you give them a chance or politely decline? I'm sorry if that was too much; it's been my experience that people say they want someone and when someone does show up they don't give them the time of day.


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## AmericanZero (Apr 17, 2012)

i just want luv said:


> Ive made 3 attemps. 1st. in 2nd grade a girl I crushed on had her friend say "she doesnt like you because your black." (echos in my head till this day)
> 
> 2nd. In 8th grade got a yes on V-day, It was one of the happiest days of my life. Then the next day I got turned down soon as I saw her in the morning.
> 
> ...


I'm trying to turn mine toward myself...I'll just love _me _and expect that everyone else who comes into my life will eventually disappear. After all, that's usually the case.

No need to be down about it though, just enjoy people while they're here but don't expect it to last forever. I've actually found myself cheering people up on these forums, which is pretty much unheard of from someone as isolated and depressionated (new ****ing word I just made up) as I am.

But yeah, I've been lead on and turned down three times, once in real life, once online, and once in my dreams (I have a lame joke quota to meet today) and not to mention I've been negatively criticized by two girls (at separate times) that I was neither interested in nor conversing with.

So, next time I think I'll go into it with the expectation of failure that way if it fails, I won't be devasted and if it works I'll be like "holy f*** this is amazing!" and then be devasted once it inevitably fails anyway.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

tsipp said:


> If you don't want to be alone maybe you should be more open to someone who does want you. I know you said no guy has ever approached you, but there has to be someone out there. What would you do if another female liked you, would you give them a chance or politely decline? I'm sorry if that was too much; it's been my experience that people say they want someone and when someone does show up they don't give them the time of day.


That doesn't make sense. No guy has ever shown interest in me or wanted me, so i've never even had a chance to accept/reject anyone. And if another female liked me, of course I would decline, because i'm straight...


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## CoastalSprite (Sep 8, 2011)

witherwings said:


> Do you think you are undesirable, unworthy, and basically not worth loving?


Yup. Basically why I never try. I don't even believe my family or friends truly love me, but that's another can of worms.

The way I see it is even if they like me now, at some point sooner or later they'll learn something about me that they'll be repulsed by and leave for someone better anyways (not exactly hard)... So why invest so much emotionally trying to start something that's doomed to fail? This applies to pretty much every non-family member in my life.


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## McdonaldMiller (Apr 16, 2012)

Um...YAH...Im saying yes alot today. I will not even try to date.


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## ChrissyQ (Apr 15, 2009)

Story of my life!


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

No.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

I've never asked a girl out on a date so I've never been rejected:










Well I did when I was in 5th grade or so, but that doesn't really count.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

I was rejected once and that was enough for me not to even consider the possibility of a date ever. Plus people tend to hate me anyways so I'd rather not play those types of games since I can't afford any more pain in my life.


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## DesperateOne (Feb 6, 2012)

arnie said:


> I've never asked a girl out on a date so I've never been rejected:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


lol, same here.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

I was rejected in high school, in college...my whole life. After college I couldn't take it anymore. I was so lonely that I ended up with a do or die attitude - I am going to get a girl, or else. I went out to bars by myself and got rejected so many times you wouldn't even believe it. If you could see tape of me approaching girls and being shut down you would feel incredibly embarrassed for me. But guess what? I wouldn't have cared. It was all worth it because I was getting better and better, learning more and more. I ended up with a gf, and since then I've been with about 9 other girls. That was a year ago. In one year I went from never even having kissed a girl (at 24), to having had 2 relationships and fooled around with a bunch of other girls. Why? I TRIED! That's it. I just tried and tried and tried and never gave up. It wasn't easy. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. But you just can't give up. You have to try, learn from your mistakes, and then try again. If you keep your head up as much as you can, you will improve and eventually succeed.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

rymo said:


> I was rejected in high school, in college...my whole life. After college I couldn't take it anymore. I was so lonely that I ended up with a do or die attitude - I am going to get a girl, or else. I went out to bars by myself and got rejected so many times you wouldn't even believe it. If you could see tape of me approaching girls and being shut down you would feel incredibly embarrassed for me. But guess what? I wouldn't have cared. It was all worth it because I was getting better and better, learning more and more. I ended up with a gf, and since then I've been with about 9 other girls. That was a year ago. In one year I went from never even having kissed a girl (at 24), to having had 2 relationships and fooled around with a bunch of other girls. Why? I TRIED! That's it. I just tried and tried and tried and never gave up. It wasn't easy. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. But you just can't give up. You have to try, learn from your mistakes, and then try again. If you keep your head up as much as you can, you will improve and eventually succeed.


The kind of girl I'm interested in would never sit at a bar waiting for guys to hit on her.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

arnie said:


> The kind of girl I'm interested in would never sit at a bar waiting for guys to hit on her.


My first gf, who I met at a bar, was the sweetest, nicest girl ever and was hanging out listen to live music with her friends when I approached her. She wasn't waiting to get hit on. I don't have a clue what you're talking about, unless the type of girl you're looking for is a recluse who never leaves her house. Which you're going to have a tough time finding. Good luck though.


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## ShyFX (Mar 6, 2006)

Yeah, I've been rejected by every single girl I've ever shown interest in and as a result I have no confidence with women. I haven't even talked to a girl, outside of work, or one who wasn't dating/married to a friend, for years. What I find strange is that every guy I talk to wants to be my friend.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

I've approached hundreds of girls and I pt pbe girl to say yes but it was a fake pickup line she fell for that was about six Yeats ago relying just on appearance


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## gomenne (Oct 3, 2009)

I never even had a chance to go on a date to get rejected. But I would rather not get involved at all with anyone other than have experience and then get hurt and laughed at. It's so illogical and stupid to want to be with someone but it's human failure emotions.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

arnie said:


> The kind of girl I'm interested in would never sit at a bar waiting for guys to hit on her.


What's wrong with sitting at a bar waiting for guys to hit on you?


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

arnie said:


> The kind of girl I'm interested in would never sit at a bar waiting for guys to hit on her.


I agree. I hate bars anyway.


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## Valentine (May 17, 2012)

I've never been rejected by a girl :boogie

Then again, I've never asked a girl out. Ideally if I found the right girl it would transition into a relationship without the whole "asking out" thing.


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## ChrissyQ (Apr 15, 2009)

arnie said:


> The kind of girl I'm interested in would never sit at a bar waiting for guys to hit on her.


:clap


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## GuyMontag (Dec 12, 2010)

I've never asked a girl out.


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## huh (Mar 19, 2007)

Technically I've never been rejected, even though when I initially asked someone out last they said they couldn't make it. But they subsequently asked me out a week later. So they probably were actually just busy. That's the only time I've asked someone out, so I never get rejected due to a lack of trying. Unless we count unreturned online dating messages, in which case I've been rejected...a lot. But that seems like kind of a loose definition of rejection, since it's so impersonal.

I'm guessing a few actual rejections might make it worse for me personally. It would just reinforce a view that not many girls would actually be interested in me anyways, even though rejection is just a normal part of dating and putting yourself out there.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

It's a combination of this and negative experiences of past relationships... I can go on dates, and find them surely, but making a connection with someone seems like such a foreign concept to me now. I have no clue on how to come about to it. I feel disconnected with every relationship, platonic or not.


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## AinmCleite (Jun 5, 2012)

*Yep*

Every guy I have asked out has said no. I have been asked out exactly one time. I had a guy lie and have one if the 'cute' girls cover for him when I asked him if he wanted to dance ( I had known him for years, the girl also) since I had heard that he wanted to dance but none of the girls at his table would dance with him. 
It hurts everytime. Now I am trying to be 'just friends' with a guy I like. I don't want to scare him off by approaching him in that way. Plus I need good male interaction. 
Males in general can cause me to have a panic attack. (Bad history with my dad, unintentional mental abuse) beards are another of my triggers (dad again ) but I try not to judge by facial hair alone.
I have also had three different stalkers since 2006. So I am extremely cautious. 
I have NEVER been on an actual date, the closest I've had was a few weeks ago when everyone in the group cancelled besides my roommate, two guys and I. Turning a group outing into an unintended double date.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Never put myself into a situation where I could be rejected, and that is why I never date.


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## darkarashi (Dec 1, 2013)

*it sucks*

To be honest no one gives me the time of day. I am invisible to all the males I have ever encountered. All the guys I like and seem nice reject me. I have good qualities and have been told by friends that I am pretty but I am invisible to everyone. Why is that? Maybe I am one of those people who are easily replaceable and am not capable of being liked by any guy as in more than a friend. I probably have friend zone syndrome which sucks. Is there anything to change that beside plastic surgery and what not


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## nothing else (Oct 27, 2013)

I don't have the prerequisites to date so I just don't.


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## inerameia (Jan 26, 2012)

Yeah. I don't see any point in trying any more since it always ends the same. I'm too ****ed up. I'd rather just mess around.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

I have been rejected many a times (and I come here to b**** and moan about it, hehe) I still keep trying. 

The way I see it no girlfriend is going to fall into my lap. There is no special someone out there waiting for me or none of that. I have to go out and meet women. Face rejection. Deal with my insecurities. Get better at socializing. Flirt. Have fun. And try to attract girls I'm interested in.

I have failed a lot. Rejection sucks. But I am confident that I will meet a woman that likes me as much as I like her and we have a great relationship together.


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## NicoShy (Jun 11, 2009)

Yeah most guys I get involved with I eventually find out they are flirts and cheaters. Guess I'm too boring


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## Lonelyguy111 (Oct 14, 2013)

Yes times 10,000.
<SIGH>

I gave up long ago so I spend my time with my cat.


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## Putin (May 21, 2013)

I have never been rejected. But that's probably because I don't even bother with women.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

Putin said:


> I have never been rejected. But that's probably because I don't even bother with women.


That's surprising.


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## mdiada (Jun 18, 2012)

Yesss, been rejected so many times it makes me wanna give up and be a nun. Seriously. If it isn't my awkward shyness and boring/crappy communication skills, it's my appearance, or vice versa.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

Never been rejected but never tried.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Putin said:


> I have never been rejected. But that's probably because I don't even bother with women.


So why do you devote so much of your time ranting about why women reject men?  Odd.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Never because i never asked. I probably will anyways though.


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## theweirdkid (Jul 10, 2012)

In my case, I always find that the more alpha-male guy always gets the girl and she doesn't even notice me, or I'm just that guy in the friend zone.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

diamondheart89 said:


> So why do you devote so much of your time ranting about why women reject men?  Odd.


Honestly that's why I'm so surprised by his comment.


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## HopefulDreamer (Feb 26, 2012)

Any man who I have ever liked has rejected me. I've given up now due to my age. It's too late at 27.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Yeah, I've been rejected every time and always will be. It pisses me off most when someone pretends to like me, leads me on, then rejects me. I don't understand why women like to trick me like that?

As if having SA and just a really sh*tty life in general wasn't punishment enough. I've been forced into involuntary solitude. I'm going to be 40 years old and living alone in a tiny apartment with no money, no woman, and no friends. Assuming I can hold out that long without putting a bullet through my head.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I'm willing to go on dates rarely but I'm very sceptical of men. It takes a good while for me to trust someone. I assume the worst and won't change my assumptions until proven otherwise. My assumptions are that they are most likely working on several other women and that they not that interested in me.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Well I think I have reached my wits end. Rejected again after what I felt went really well, like I usually do. So clearly something fundamentally wrong.


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## Pompeii (Aug 25, 2013)

I haven't given up on dating but I have given up approaching blokes. Too many painful and outright cruel rejections.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

RadnessaurousRex said:


> I don't date much and I don't go out seeking women so no, I'm usually the one doing the rejecting.


Me too. I was rejecting girls during middle school because at that time i was too childish to be dating. After that no girl ever ask me out.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

AussiePea said:


> Well I think I have reached my wits end. Rejected again after what I felt went really well, like I usually do. So clearly something fundamentally wrong.


I don't get it. I really don't. Come to America, I will introduce you to women and they will attack you with passion.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

diamondheart89 said:


> I don't get it. I really don't. Come to America, I will introduce you to women and they will attack you with passion.


Uh, did you quote the wrong person? Why would you introduce him to women that will attack him? I'm very confused by this response.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Jesuszilla said:


> Uh, did you quote the wrong person? Why would you introduce him to women that will attack him? I'm very confused by this response.


No. Because he's a pretty awesome dude, and my fwend. And I'm pretty sure American women would appreciate him since he's Australian (in addition to being a great person, that is).


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

diamondheart89 said:


> No. Because he's a pretty awesome dude, and my fwend. And I'm pretty sure American women would appreciate him since he's Australian (in addition to being a great person, that is).


I see I read attack with a passion wrong. My SAS senses had a false alarm. Carry on.


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## Morumot (Sep 21, 2011)

I've been rejected a few times and guys never seem interested. There are some people that just can never get a date and I'm one of them. Since I was little I was afraid of going under the knife, but now I feel like I have to do it. Almost all guys, regardless of their own attractiveness, would only date an attractive girl.


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## BeachGaBulldog (Feb 13, 2007)

I have just never hit it off with women. I don't trust them! I haven't been rejected in years. I just don't date. I don't need the aggravation of a female in my life. They have never given me a reason to trust them.


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## zstandig (Sep 21, 2013)

I've never had anything in common with women so why bother walking up to them if I can't even talk about anything other than the few things we have in common?

A conversation can only go so far once you get past the names, the weather, and what you had for lunch if you have nothing in common.


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## amy94 (Jun 28, 2013)

Guys who've liked me when they first meet me and think I'm pretty...and then, after they get to know me, they reject me. :/ which sucks even more, because they're rejecting me for my personality, not because i'm ugly or anything. that hurts more


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## ToughUnderdog (Jul 7, 2013)

amy94 said:


> Guys who've liked me when they first meet me and think I'm pretty...and then, after they get to know me, they reject me. :/ which sucks even more, because they're rejecting me for my personality, not because i'm ugly or anything. that hurts more


Ouch that hurts! I agree with that. Getting rejected on the basis of personality is much more painful than looks alone.

It's just a tough world out there. There's just too many people out there that it's difficult to finally stumble on the right person.


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

Yeah...I've lost all interest and motivation to try anymore because I'm so broken inside from being constantly rejected and feeling unwanted.


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## Michael127 (Dec 10, 2011)

I am too afraid of women to form connections with them. Fears include: fear of engulfment, smothering and others. 

I think single mothers (my parenting background) do not have the right tools to raise boys into men. And thereby, you spend a lot of time wanting a relationship, but not knowing how to form them or maintain them.

Also, women try to make it hard for guys do date them. I think they think it ups their value or something. Instead, it just annoys me. Lol.


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## ilsr (Aug 29, 2010)

zstandig said:


> I've never had anything in common with women so why bother walking up to them if I can't even talk about anything other than the few things we have in common?
> 
> A conversation can only go so far once you get past the names, the weather, and what you had for lunch if you have nothing in common.


zstandig, I can understand. You look like a decent looking guy and relatively young. So sometimes girls must actually approach you.

Then agreed, it's a whole another story whether a serious date ever comes from it or just a coffee meeting or an extra "phone call" or "text/chatroom". Then trying to make a girl stay interested, making them laugh every other minute or want to playfully slap you. Like I see those PUA expert guys who must spent half of their waking lives practicing picking up girls even when they already have a hot gf too good for them actually. It's like we SA guys live a completely different life in another world in another century or just a different universe. i.e. social universes.

I would say when I was 15 years younger, I had at least a girl or two approach me each year or so like if I was in a class or just walking around or reading something on a class wall when school was out of session.

Now, out of shape , overweight and hair thinning it never happens anymore.

It's hilarious when older guys at work or some situation ask me why I never had a gf when I tell them I never was in a relationship. And they bluster "you didn't try". Of course in my head it's "HAH!" . They have it all wrong. Getting to a date, or a pseudo date, or just "another meeting to chat" which becomes an embarrassing kill-me-now flop always ends up that way. Of course, it doesn't matter trying to explain. The older guys don't always see all my peers just laugh at me. 
And the ladies too. All different situations, different rooms, different parts of one's day,the segmented life of a day people don't see initially. When the girl sees the whole picture they want nothing to do with me and wish they never met me. simple as that.


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## Brandeau (Dec 22, 2013)

I've been in one "serious" relationship in my life. Since I started noticing girls and was of the age to chase the girl I liked around the play ground, so to speak, I've always said "I'm not ever going to make the first move".Meaning that I would never approach a girl and ask her out. I was too afraid of rejection, even back then. I made up my mind very early in life that if a girl liked me, then she could ask me out. I was probably around age 8 when I made that pact with myself. Twenty years later, and I'm pretty sure I've only ever asked a girl out that I liked maybe twice... 
The one serious relationship I mentioned before was especially hard on me because I had helped this girl raise her son as my own loved him like my own. When we broke up, I never saw him again and was devastated. 

Hence, I have vowed to myself that I will actively avoid and refuse to approach a girl, humor a girl who approaches me regardless of what she looks like, go on dates, be in a relationship or have anything to do with a girl intimately in any way. Including deep meaningful conversation. And I've stuck with it. I don't want to rely on anyone or have anyone rely on me. I don't want anyone to be upset when I die. How do you accomplish that? Keep people further than arms length and never form relationships with ANYONE.
Basically I've built up walls around me that even I couldn't bring down if I wanted to. 

I should write a book on how to be clinically depressed, have crippling social anxiety, and enjoy life while you're waiting to die.


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