# New student,new country and I'm afraid!



## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

Ok,maybe a little bit dramatic,but I am feeling very anxious and afraid right now.

I've just landed in Australia and today we had some information sessions and it was also for us international students to get to know each other.
I don't think it went that bad,I even asked some questions myself and I tried to be interested and friendly,but still I get the feeling that no one likes me.

This one guy I talked to just started to go on about how shy I was and that I shouldn't be like that and also that he couldn't understand what I said because of my accent:roll.(Other people here has understood me alright)It's not that easy to just speak english fluently right away when it's not my first language.
I also talked to another girl,but she didn't seem interested in talking to me anymore.Probably because I am shy,no one likes shy people do they.

This is the first day that we all have met each other(probably some has met before),but everybody seems to be good friends and everyone is in a group it seems.Every time I see someone standing alone I think that they are also alone so then there must be hope for me to,but often someone come and join them.
I'm just so afraid that I'll be the loner girl again and I don't know what to do.I tried my best today,I tried to change my behavoir,be more open and friendly and not avoidant like before.

I don't get how people do it.They've talked to like 10 minutes and already they're writing down phone numbers,names and whatnot.I really don't get it.

Btw,how do I respond when people say "Hi,how are you?"This is people I've just met or in stores.Now I just say "I'm fine thanks" or just "Hi".We don't do this in Norway..he he.so that's why I'm asking


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## Dempsey (Jun 27, 2009)

Welcome to Australia! Where are you studying?

If someone asks "how are you" say "I'm good, thanks". After that you can say "yourself?" or "how are you?" and if you're lucky they will have a story that makes chit chat easier.


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## societe anonyme (Dec 12, 2009)

Welcome to Melbourne. The offer of a coffee still stands... :b

(And yes, I totally relate to how all the other people can manage to conjure phone numbers and a busy social life while I'm sitting on the sidelines going 'WTF? How _do_ they do that?' A year into my present course and most people have made networks of friends. I speak to a couple of people occasionally and errr... that's it.)


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

I'm in Melbourne.

Sometimes it seems like people are saying that to be polite than they actually want to talk.Like if I'm on my way to somewhere and someone says "Hi,how are you?"I don't know if I should stop or keep on walking


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

societe anonyme said:


> Welcome to Melbourne. The offer of a coffee still stands... :b
> 
> (And yes, I totally relate to how all the other people can manage to conjure phone numbers and a busy social life while I'm sitting on the sidelines going 'WTF? How _do_ they do that?' A year into my present course and most people have made networks of friends. I speak to a couple of people occasionally and errr... that's it.)


Ehm..yeah,I'm kind of nervous with the whole meeting-people-off-the-internet thing.I need to settle in a bit also,still jetlagged and stuff.

Ugh,that's how I've been to.In Norway there were a few people I talked to a little bit,but no friends.I haven't made a new friend since high school


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## Dempsey (Jun 27, 2009)

It could be as simple as:
"hi how are you?"
"good thanks. yourself?"
"yeah, good"

Then you can usually keep walking. If they ask you a question then obviously they want to chat for a bit.


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## societe anonyme (Dec 12, 2009)

Answer: 'I'm well. You?' if it's someone you know/recognise. Otherwise keep walking.

(Unless you're obviously at death's door, as a general rule you don't actually answer the question 'how are you?' too honestly in Australia. Its function is generally as an icebreaker.)


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

Right..Thanks to both of you.Just a bit confused here


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## societe anonyme (Dec 12, 2009)

Invisible_girl said:


> Ehm..yeah,I'm kind of nervous with the whole meeting-people-off-the-internet thing.I need to settle in a bit also,still jetlagged and stuff.


You never know who you're going to meet... :sus :b

I'll try and stop giving off a weird, stalky vibe now.


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

Lols..Thanks  We'll see when I've settled in a bit.


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## eagleheart (Jun 14, 2007)

I hope you enjoy your time in Australia. I have never visited, but I would like to.

I was in the same situation once, I went to another country with another language. I absolutely fell in love and my heart aches for that place to this day. I had some of the best experiences of my life there.

Just don't be like me, I missed too much class!!



Invisible_girl said:


> I've just landed in Australia and today we had some information sessions and it was also for us international students to get to know each other.
> I don't think it went that bad,I even asked some questions myself and I tried to be interested and friendly,but still I get the feeling that no one likes me.


I felt kind of like that too. But I bet that all of those people are nervous too! It is a scary experience for anyone.



> This one guy I talked to just started to go on about how shy I was and that I shouldn't be like that and also that he couldn't understand what I said because of my accent:roll.(Other people here has understood me alright)It's not that easy to just speak english fluently right away when it's not my first language.


Exactly!! If he tried to learn Norwegian he would be the same way. It's hard for everyone except young children to learn a new language. He probably never tried to learn another language before.

Besides, a lot of people like accents anyway. I think he is just being foolish, LOL

And I have to tell you that your written English is superb. I assumed that you were a native English speaker until you said otherwise.



> I also talked to another girl,but she didn't seem interested in talking to me anymore.Probably because I am shy,no one likes shy people do they.


I do, and I must not be alone!



> This is the first day that we all have met each other(probably some has met before),but everybody seems to be good friends and everyone is in a group it seems.Every time I see someone standing alone I think that they are also alone so then there must be hope for me to,but often someone come and join them.


Yeah, I met several people who were from the same country as me. But they all knew each other and they were very close, and I could not get into their group.

I did see someone standing by himself looking kind of forlorn, and I took a chance and talked to him. I don't often do that, but we ended up being good friends actually. We were in a class together, though.



> I don't get how people do it.They've talked to like 10 minutes and already they're writing down phone numbers,names and whatnot.I really don't get it.


I don't really get it either, to be honest. I haven't experienced that very often.



> Btw,how do I respond when people say "Hi,how are you?"This is people I've just met or in stores.Now I just say "I'm fine thanks" or just "Hi".We don't do this in Norway..he he.so that's why I'm asking


I have never been to Norway so I find that interesting. I would answer exactly like that, something like "Good thanks, how are you?" Just something like that.

People do the same thing where I am from. Most of the time, it is just a thing that people do, and they are probably not trying to be intrusive LOL.


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

eagleheart said:


> Exactly!! If he tried to learn Norwegian he would be the same way. It's hard for everyone except young children to learn a new language. He probably never tried to learn another language before.


Thanks for replying to my thread.It's been a few weeks since I posted this thread so I'm settling in a bit more right now,haven't really gotten to know anyone yet.Just talked to few.

That guy was from a non-english speaking country and his english wasen't really any good.He had also been here for 2 years I think..
It just annoys me when people just have to start nagging about me being shy and no one would have said to an outgoing person "You talk to much,you should be more quiet"(sure,it has probably happened,but not that often)
It's easier for me to talk if people accept it and gives me some time because if they bring up the shy thing I just get more self concious so I need people who are actually willingly to give me some time..


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## tcv (Mar 2, 2010)

Invisible_girl said:


> It just annoys me when people just have to start nagging about me being shy and no one would have said to an outgoing person "You talk to much,you should be more quiet"


hehehe 

Just one thing I want to add, you might want to consider that someone who you've just met and want to talk to but isn't really responding well is also shy or has SA  Rather than them avoiding you because you're shy - I really doubt that's the case...

I think a lot of people think that I'm being a snob/rude when I don't talk much to them but really it's because I'm shy.

Let us know who you going throughout the semester, I hope things get better for you.

This is something I'm starting to worry about both here where I study because I have no friends and because I will be going to study in Italy at the end of the year. So hopefully you can give some good advice!


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