# For those who feel they'll always be alone - Read me!!



## blackbird87

Hey all,

NEVER expected to post in this section of the forum but as a serious SA sufferer who finally had a good experience, I had to share this with all of you to remind you that there's always hope.

I got a text message last night from a girl I haven't seen in 2 years. We talked on the phone all night and eventually I just asked her to hang out tonight. She agreed and all day today I was terrified of going because I was so nervous that my SA would make me seem very shy and untalkative.

The night went very well although I'm sure I was fidgeting the entire time. I managed (despite being terrified) to maintain conversation with her for 4 hours. I wasn't sure whether or not this was a date but about 20 mins after getting home, I got a text saying "she had a great time". I messaged back that we should get together again soon and she said "that's a great idea!"

Now, regardless of whether or not this turns out to be a relationship in the future or not... this is a huge suceess just based on the fact I was able to ask a girl out and on top of that, be sociable for an extended period. 

The moral: NEVER LOSE HOPE. Things will happen when you least expect them to.


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## Perfectionist

This thread is adorable. Congratulations! That sounds totally awesome and like a great success for you. I hope it continues to go well!


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## Hamtown

These stories are cool.Its usually always someone breaking out of the shell and they really don't know how they did.In other words all of us can break out the shell if we just take action.

I applaud you, congratulations man!!


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## stranger25

What about the guys who are like this:

Never had female friends

Haven't had any friends in years

No way to build a stable social life

horrible talking to girls

unemployed


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## Jessicah1

Congrats blackbird87! I have a goal of inviting more friends over for food & games. Scares me to think of it but then I have done so successfully a handful of times so I'll just have to think of those times and be brave! I bought myself a black chef's apron for the effort I'd love to be a host regularly, it makes others happy and it's like exposure therapy. 

Stranger25...I guess it depends how you define a friend. We all have to start somewhere. You have lots of friends on SAS:hs hehe! You're not a stranger, you're Stranger25!


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## RUFB2327

Good for you, Congrats


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## Nessy

Good for you!  Feels great doesnt it!


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## blackbird87

Thanks for your support everyone!!



stranger25 said:


> What about the guys who are like this:
> 
> Never had female friends
> 
> Haven't had any friends in years
> 
> No way to build a stable social life
> 
> horrible talking to girls
> 
> unemployed


Believe me, I haven't had friends in 6 years (since high school ended). I'm also horrible talking to girls... the last girl I hung out with asked me within 1 hour if I was claustrophobic  I have been in the same routine since graduation, work all day, get home, spend the night alone, go to bed. But I'm hoping that this will change!!! Don't give up!


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## Paragon

Awesome  Always good hearing stories of things starting to turn around. Hope it works out, and if not hope you get more success in the future.


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## stranger25

Jessicah1 said:


> Congrats blackbird87! I have a goal of inviting more friends over for food & games. Scares me to think of it but then I have done so successfully a handful of times so I'll just have to think of those times and be brave! I bought myself a black chef's apron for the effort I'd love to be a host regularly, it makes others happy and it's like exposure therapy.
> 
> Stranger25...I guess it depends how you define a friend. We all have to start somewhere. You have lots of friends on SAS:hs hehe! You're not a stranger, you're Stranger25!


That's different though. I've spent everyday for the last 6 years alone with no social life whatsoever. That can really damage a person. And I can say there are only 1 or 2 people here who I appreciate chatting with. Noone else because they either have a grudge against me or just no chatting.


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## Gemini32

Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Neptunus

Sweet story. Congrats!


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## Donnie in the Dark

stranger25 said:


> That's different though. I've spent everyday for the last 6 years alone with no social life whatsoever. That can really damage a person. And I can say there are only 1 or 2 people here who I appreciate chatting with. Noone else because they either have a grudge against me or just no chatting.


 Life can sort of slide that way, and social contact is really important for almost everyone, so I can only hope you don't give up entirely. Whilst I don't believe in fate or their being "someone for everyone", I think if you are willing to bare yourself a little your chances of connecting are very high. Sometimes it can be hard to imagine being compatible with anyone- I often feel like that, but social contact is worth the effort and stress.


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## IsThereAComputerOption

Sooo... because you found someone it isn't impossible for everyone else to find someone?

Forgive my cynicism, but I think we've heard that one before.


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## IcemanKilmer

IsThereAComputerOption said:


> Sooo... because you found someone it isn't impossible for everyone else to find someone?
> 
> Forgive my cynicism, but I think we've heard that one before.


I totally agree with this.

It seems that every time someone comes on here who has friends or a significant other, they think that all the sudden everyone else is automatically able to achieve what the person that has friends or significant other has.

When are you some of you going to realize that some people are just born without adequate social abilities?

There are millions of people on this planet that live their lives as loners and never achieve social success. The "there's someone for everyone" quote is statistically wrong by millions of people.

The world isn't this fair place where everyone succeeds eventually. Some people live their life as failures. It happens. Everything isn't going to be okay for everyone. This isn't some feel-good movie where everything gets solved at the end of the movie.


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## Alchemist

Congrats, man!!! I really believe in things like this. But, sometimes, it is so hard to wait... 
Of course, I never loose hope 

Thanks for sharing


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## stranger25

Donnie in the Dark said:


> Life can sort of slide that way, and social contact is really important for almost everyone, so I can only hope you don't give up entirely. Whilst I don't believe in fate or their being "someone for everyone", I think if you are willing to bare yourself a little your chances of connecting are very high. Sometimes it can be hard to imagine being compatible with anyone- I often feel like that, but social contact is worth the effort and stress.


The rest of the human race seems to want me dead, or just caught up in a life of complete misery. Just about everything in my life is a disaster because of other humans. Outside of my family, just about every human being hates my guts and wants me dead. If it wasn't true, I think people would be more than willing to talk to me when I go out. But this doesn't happen. I am just ignored like wind.

If I have to live with a reality like this when I am a full adult for the rest of time:

No friends
No relationships, no love ever
No personal success with jobs, hobbies, etc.

Then I don't see it as a life worth living.

Sometimes I wish people would be forced to socialize with others, so they learn how much suffering they put another person through.


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## IcemanKilmer

stranger25 said:


> Sometimes I wish people would be forced to socialize with others, so they learn how much suffering they put another person through.


That is my dream.


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## sherbert

Congrats! I had a similar experience a while back and it only required me to be a very attentive listener. It led to a friendship and that's OK!


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## blackbird87

IcemanKilmer said:


> I totally agree with this.
> 
> It seems that every time someone comes on here who has friends or a significant other, they think that all the sudden everyone else is automatically able to achieve what the person that has friends or significant other has.
> 
> When are you some of you going to realize that some people are just born without adequate social abilities?
> 
> There are millions of people on this planet that live their lives as loners and never achieve social success. The "there's someone for everyone" quote is statistically wrong by millions of people.
> 
> The world isn't this fair place where everyone succeeds eventually. Some people live their life as failures. It happens. Everything isn't going to be okay for everyone. This isn't some feel-good movie where everything gets solved at the end of the movie.


Wow alright, what I joined an SA forum because I have adequate social abilities?? The point of my post was to show that even though I have no social skills at all, have also been diagnosed with severe depression and have not had friends in 5 - 6 years, somehow I still managed to have a connection. I wanted to share my experience so that it might lift some people's hopes like as it does for me when I read others success stories. Regardless of whether it was just that once with her, or whether it lasts years... the point is it's progress. And if it can randomly happen like this to me, it can for anyone else with SA.


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## rymo

I think what the naysayers are missing is the belief that things can get better. However, this seems to be a front more than anything because they wouldn't be on this forum (especially Triumphs) if deep down they didn't have some type of hope. What I think it really is is a cry for attention - "hey, you have had some success, but that doesn't mean I will! In fact, I will never succeed!". What is someone supposed to say to that? I don't blame people with SA for being cynical as hell, but there's absolutely zero chance of recovery if you don't have a slight bit of optimism and the ability to appreciate even the tiniest of victories. Just because you think you have it worse than another person doesn't mean you are **** out of luck. I used to think I had it the worst, but at 24 I grew sick and tired of being miserable and used that tiny drop of hope I had deep down to change my life around, starting one fateful night when I went, feeling friendless and alone, to a bar - by myself - and refused to leave without a number. You truly never know when things will change for the better, and you may be in a situation where no one will help you towards that goal. I was, and I had to do something about it myself.

Congrats TC, keep us updated on the situation!


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## blackbird87

rymo said:


> I think what the naysayers are missing is the belief that things can get better. However, this seems to be a front more than anything because they wouldn't be on this forum (especially Triumphs) if deep down they didn't have some type of hope. What I think it really is is a cry for attention - "hey, you have had some success, but that doesn't mean I will! In fact, I will never succeed!". What is someone supposed to say to that? I don't blame people with SA for being cynical as hell, but there's absolutely zero chance of recovery if you don't have a slight bit of optimism and the ability to appreciate even the tiniest of victories. Just because you think you have it worse than another person doesn't mean you are **** out of luck. I used to think I had it the worst, but at 24 I grew sick and tired of being miserable and used that tiny drop of hope I had deep down to change my life around, starting one fateful night when I went, feeling friendless and alone, to a bar - by myself - and refused to leave without a number. You truly never know when things will change for the better, and you may be in a situation where no one will help you towards that goal. I was, and I had to do something about it myself.
> 
> Congrats TC, keep us updated on the situation!


I agree. And I'm the same way, I make excuses for everything and have no optimism 99% of the time. I guess I got caught off guard when I saw a few of the negative comments. I wasn't trying to shove it in anyone's faces... I wanted to contribute to a section of the forum that I found inspiring so that hopefully, even if it's just for a few minutes, I could give a drop of hope to someone out there.


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## O B kool

I proud of you bro keep it up man! I think you shouldnt put all your hopes and dream into one basket thought. You should make another female friend


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## Nuthatch

To all the naysayers: Come on people. This folder is called 'Triumps over social anxiety.' Let a success story inspire you for once. And if you're unable to be inspired then maybe you'd do well to stay away from this folder if these kinds of posts aggravate you. Being cynical is fine, and there are plenty of other folders for that. But don't pick apart someone's post who just wants to share his success and encourage others. 

I know that it encouraged me -- shows that there's always hope! Thanks blackbird!!


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## blackbird87

Thanks everyone!! It didn't end up working out in the end, but I'm looking at the positive aspect in the fact that I reconnected with someone and I also learned some valuable lessons from the experience. If anything, I forced myself into a social situation that was very difficult for me and it's something to be proud of I suppose.


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## Choci Loni

I am very happy for you, and this made me hopeful as well.
Thank you.


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## Gorillaz

thats awesome man


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## SPC

you are a good example to follow man. +1


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## wootmehver

This is like majorly AWESOMELYFUL dude. *Congratulations!*

I now believe with all my being that my soulmate HAS to be out there somewhere, some special luminous lady that I was meant to merge with in an eternal, glorious union of mind, body and soul. We might have lost track of each other in previous incarnations, but in this one I intend to move heaven and earth in my quest to reunite us. Who knows, she could be living in my neighborhood right now. If my karmic portfolio is in order, I might meet her today!


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