# Is smoking a dealbreaker for a potential partner?



## Gojira (Jun 1, 2015)

Is this something you could live with or absolutely not?


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

I'm a former smoker so I don't really care. Girls that smoke are sorta hot to me.


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## iCod (Feb 17, 2015)

Ugh....you know....sort of. 

And I hate to choose not to date someone just because they smoke or drink or gamble or serial kill people or whatever the reason may be...But you have to draw the line somewhere.

I'm totally not against smoking, no, not at all. You wanna smoke? Then fine, do it. You have your right and freedom to smoke.

I just don't want to associate myself or in general be around people that feel the need to smoke, or smoke for whatever the reason may be.


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## TCNY (Dec 3, 2014)

maybe short term id be alright


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## vanilla90 (Jun 22, 2010)

If I find her hot I'll light it up for her, hell I'll even split a pack with her. Live and let live. (Or in the case of smoking I guess the saying should be "live and let die"??)


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## Robleye (Sep 26, 2012)

Ehhh.. it's hard to say. I hate the idea of smoking but if it's someone I'm really really into, I don't think I could dismiss them just for that. I'd just be worried about their health.

On second thought, I've grown up around smokers all my childhood and the constant lingering smell is terrible. I don't know how well I'd be able to deal with that every day.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Basically, yeah. It's one of my few dealbreakers. If I was with them for years and they took up smoking maybe I'd put up with it because being without them was worse, but I really wouldn't like it.

*edit:* your poll is a little confusing actually I answered based on the thread title but the poll question is 'partner that smokes?'


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## that weird guy (Aug 14, 2015)

so let me get this right..on a site where people talk about being alone forever and just wanting friends and "will i ever fall in love" your gonna talk about "dealbreakers" yeah maybe murderer,sex offender,abuse butt smoking no smoking is not a deal breaker im guessing many people here are just happy to find someone.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

I'm not a fan of the cig.


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## Gojira (Jun 1, 2015)

Persephone The Dread said:


> *edit:* your poll is a little confusing actually I answered based on the thread title but the poll question is 'partner that smokes?'


True, I just threw it on there quick.

I'd imagine most people can answer the thread title in a post, then vote on the poll question.

Thanks.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

God, this is really making me feel like a smoke.


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

I'm one of the people that holds their breath walking past the smokers outside work in the morning (*******s, go further from the door)


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## Sean07 (May 9, 2014)

I smoke and I can completely understand why certain people wouldn't want to be with someone who does. It's so bloody stupid. I try and be as courteous as possible, I don't smoke around those who don't, imposing my ****ty choices on others would be an awful thing to do, my dad used to smoke in the house as a kid and I hated it. 

I wouldn't care if my partner did because how hypocritical would that be? Nevertheless, it does show poor judgement and to be honest, I'm gutted I ever started (I was young and susceptible to making poor choices if there's any redemption to be had). I would contend with the notion that you can judge me poorly as a person for purely my smoking habits though, as it really isn't a part of who I am. As turn-off for a potential partner though? Fair enough.


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## Orbiter (Jul 8, 2015)

Sean07 said:


> I smoke and I can completely understand why certain people wouldn't want to be with someone who does. It's so bloody stupid. I try and be as courteous as possible, I don't smoke around those who don't as imposing my ****ty choices on others would be an awful thing, my dad used to smoke in the house as a kid and I hated it.
> 
> I wouldn't care if my partner did because how hypocritical would that be? Nevertheless, it does show poor judgement and to be honest, I'm gutted I ever started (I was young and susceptible to making poor choices if there's any redemption to be had). I would contend the notion that you can judge me as a person for my smoking habits though, as it really isn't a part of who I am. As turn-off for a potential partner though? Fair enough.


Me too, when a mother with her kid is passing by I stop until I am far enough.
As long as you do it at a place where nobody minds/it's allowed, I don't see why it should be anybody's business.


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## Sean07 (May 9, 2014)

Orbiter said:


> Me too, when a mother with her kid is passing by I stop until I am far enough.
> As long as you do it at a place where nobody minds/it's allowed, I don't see why it should be anybody's business.


Exactly, I always hide my cigarette behind my hand if a child is walking past. The potential that a kid might see me and think I'm cool because I smoke is something I want no part in.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

The poll is probably meaningless since the question and the title are in conflict.

No...I would not accept a partner that smokes.

Yes... It is a deal breaker.

Maybe... I guess if I were absolutely smitten and the partner was actively working to quit.

I've smoked before and know how easy it would be to start up again even though healthcare jobs are starting to make non-smoking a requirement for employment.


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## Sean07 (May 9, 2014)

KyleInSTL said:


> I've smoked before and know how easy it would be to start up again even though healthcare jobs are starting to make non-smoking a requirement for employment.


That's such a stupid rule (not saying you agree with it Kyle). I assume the health care companies will be monitoring the quality of food their employees eat, the amount of coffee they drink, the amount of exercise they have and anything else deemed an unhealthy lifestyle choice to cover all bases right? Or is it just smokers? It sets a very eery precedent for workplace discrimination.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Sean07 said:


> That's such a stupid rule (not saying you agree with it Kyle). I assume the health care companies will be monitoring the quality of food their employees eat, the amount of coffee they drink, the amount of exercise they have and anything else deemed an unhealthy life choice to cover all based right? Or is it just smokers? It sets a very eery precedent for workplace discrimination.


I do wonder if it'll ever come to that. You look around and many healthcare workers are horribly out of shape. The idiom "Physician, heal thyself" comes to mind.

To the degree they want our patients to not be surrounded by hypocrisy, is what they want to control.

I'm grandfathered in my current position, but recently applied to another ambulance service and that was stated clearly as a condition of employment.


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

It's one of the few traits that will make me overlook any other good element of a person. In the back of my mind, I will always think 'this is a smoker' can't date you. It's disgusting, I hate the smell, and I'm not going to deal with it. End of discussion...


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## quesara (Jul 25, 2015)

Sean07 said:


> That's such a stupid rule (not saying you agree with it Kyle). I assume the health care companies will be monitoring the quality of food their employees eat, the amount of coffee they drink, the amount of exercise they have and anything else deemed an unhealthy lifestyle choice to cover all bases right? Or is it just smokers? It sets a very eery precedent for workplace discrimination.


I work for a healthcare organization and they actually do impose certain requirements you must meet in order to qualify for a discounted health insurance rate. One of these requirements is to participate in a smoking cessation program if you smoke, and another is that you log "healthy steps" like exercise, water intake etc. or participate in a health program with co-workers, involving weekly meetings to discuss how to live a healthy lifestyle, complete with workbooks and quizzes. If you don't complete these programs by a certain date, you have to pay $$$. It's completely overboard, IMO.

To answer OP question: if we're talking cigarettes, it's not a deal breaker, but it's a turn-off for sure. My gf smokes every once in a blue moon and knows that I won't go anywhere near her if she smells like cigarette smoke.


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## Sean07 (May 9, 2014)

KyleInSTL said:


> I do wonder if it'll ever come to that. You look around and many healthcare workers are horribly out of shape. The idiom "Physician, heal thyself" comes to mind.
> 
> To the degree they want our patients to not be surrounded by hypocrisy, is what they want to control.
> 
> I'm grandfathered in my current position, but recently applied to another ambulance service and that was stated clearly as a condition of employment.


Imagine having to start the week with a celebrity fit club style weigh-in followed by a round of blood testing fit for the Tour de France... A fascistic nightmare.

"You thought you could have mayonnaise in your sandwich and get away with it? Think again Mr bad lifestyle choices, not in my town!"


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## caelle (Sep 9, 2008)

Yes, it's a dealbreaker. I can't stand the smell of it, it's so strong. 

This might be wrong, but I assume that people who smoke are addicted to it. I don't like that it makes me uncomfortable.


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## Depo (Jan 30, 2015)

that weird guy said:


> so let me get this right..on a site where people talk about being alone forever and just wanting friends and "will i ever fall in love" your gonna talk about "dealbreakers" yeah maybe murderer,sex offender,abuse butt smoking no smoking is not a deal breaker im guessing many people here are just happy to find someone.


Haha, so true, right? Smoking??? What about finding your loved one in bed with someone else? Or doing drugs or hiring escorts? These dealbreaker threads are getting so lame.

And it's funny when people say "oh yeah, it's definitely a dealbraker!!! I'd nevah allow it!" while on the other hand they keep posting on other threads "oh, I've never had a girlfriend! I wish I had one! I'm so lonely!" If you're in that situation you can't be that picky. :lol

In my case I'm a smoker and all my bfs have been non-smokers. I've never met someone who had a problem with smoking. And no, it wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me.


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## CannabisOil (Sep 16, 2015)

I can't stand cigarettes so I avoid girls who smoke. 

Girls who smoke cannabis on the other hand...I love.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Depo said:


> Haha, so true, right? Smoking??? What about finding your loved one in bed with someone else? Or doing drugs or hiring escorts? These dealbreaker threads are getting so lame.
> 
> And it's funny when people say "oh yeah, it's definitely a dealbraker!!! I'd nevah allow it!" while on the other hand they keep posting on other threads "oh, I've never had a girlfriend! I wish I had one! I'm so lonely!" If you're in that situation you can't be that picky. :lol
> 
> *In my case I'm a smoker and all my bfs have been non-smokers.* I've never met someone who had a problem with smoking. And no, it wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me.


Is that why it bothers you? You shouldn't take it personally, especially if people aren't being insulting about it (haven't read through all the posts in thread.) There are plenty of people on here that list traits that I have that they don't want in a partner.

For that matter actually, since you mention it, in a recent thread I never listed cheating as a definite dealbreaker, but smoking pretty much would be for me. Can I moan about people who list 'cheating' as a definite dealbreaker? Or is that stupid?


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## DistraughtOwl (Mar 1, 2014)

I'd rather date someone that doesn't do any drugs including smokes or alcohol. I guess alcohol once or twice a year during the right moments might be okay but I still don't like it.


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## Depo (Jan 30, 2015)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Is that why it bothers you? You shouldn't take it personally, especially if people aren't being insulting about it. There are plenty of people on here that list traits that I have that they don't want in a partner.
> 
> For that matter actually, since you mention it, in a recent thread I never listed cheating as a definite dealbreaker, but smoking pretty much would be for me. Can I moan about people who list 'cheating' as a dealbreaker? Or is that stupid?


Don't get your panties in a bunch. It doesn't bother me and I would be childish if I took it personally. I just find it amusing on a SAS forum. I really don't care if people with SAS think smoking is a dealbreaker or not (I never date people with SAS anyway.) I just thought there were more interesting things that could be dealbreakers. And this is a public forum, I have any right to express my opinion any way I want (as long as I don't break the rules) whether you like it or not.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Depo said:


> Don't get your panties in a bunch. It doesn't bother me and I would be childish if I took it personally. I just find it amusing on a SAS forum. I really don't care if people with SAS think smoking is a dealbreaker or not (I never date people with SAS anyway.) I just thought there were more interesting things that could be dealbreakers. And this is a public forum, I have any right to express my opinion any way I want (as long as I don't break the rules) whether you like it or not.


Yes I know you do, and I'm reacting to your opinion. I've seen lots of people get offended in threads like this before, but if you're not that's great.

Anyway this is just the thread that's here right now, there have been like a ton of different threads on various ones over the years. Including 'would you keep dating someone who is your cousin' and stuff like that, so if you wait long enough... The weirder stuff will come to you.


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## Depo (Jan 30, 2015)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Yes I know you do, and I'm reacting to your opinion. I've seen lots of people get offended in threads like this before, but if you're not that's great.
> 
> Anyway this is just the thread that's here right now, there have been like a ton of different threads on various ones over the years. Including 'would you keep dating someone who is your cousin' and stuff like that, so if you wait long enough... The weirder stuff will come to you.


If you're reacting badly to what strangers say on a public forum, you really need to get help. It's no like it's your problem if people get offended or not. After all it's just a public forum and the internet is not serious business. :teeth


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Depends on what she smokes. If she smokes pot, that's OK.


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## AnonymousPersonG (Nov 5, 2014)

I mean, I get they enjoy it and we all have our "coping" methods but something that is detrimental to not only you but also the health of people around you is a deal-breaker for me.


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

I think it's wrong to suggest that people with anxiety should just take what we can get and be happy someone's willing to date us. I know a lot of us feel very insecure and don't think we deserve a partner who's a good fit for us, but that's not a healthy mindset to have. 

I don't like would you date... questions either, they seem like a convenient way to butt in and criticize others who have nothing to do with you, but that seems like a pretty huge overreaction.


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## TheOLDPrince (Jan 18, 2014)

idk maybe yes, but I would make an exception for scarlett johansson


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

Smoking is a disgusting bad habit. Of course I don't want to be with a woman who smokes. I don't even want to kiss her. Her mouth would smell like an ashtray. My grandmother passed away from lung cancer two months ago. That's the reason why I quit smoking and I will not be with someone who smokes.


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## MondKrabbe (Sep 7, 2015)

Yeah I'd have to say as well, just because most of us are alone and may very well be that way for the rest of our lives doesn't mean we have to settle with just anyone. 

My oldest brother did that, and now he's saddled up with a woman who does nothing to support him, but he still loves her anyways. And she smokes as well, and every time I hug her to show "support" of the relationship, I can smell it. IT gives me a massive headache, so I don't think I could be with someone who smokes, especially since I get headaches easily from it.


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## Genos (Dec 17, 2014)

i find it hot tbh


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## Charmeleon (Aug 5, 2010)

Pretty much unless I really, really, really, really, reallllllly like you.


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## CoffeeGuy (Sep 23, 2013)

It would be a deterrent, but if I really liked her then I could probably accept it.


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## Excaliber (May 16, 2015)

I couldn't do it but not because I think its disgusting, I have bad lungs as it is and I know when i have been around smokers that it triggers my asthma.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

I smoke a bit so I don't care.


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## Staticnz (Mar 25, 2013)

No, it isn't.

But I did go on two dates with a girl once, and she smoked like a chimney stack. Totally fully addicted and after two dates was like...I'm sorry...I can't take it.. Smoke smell on all her clothes and breath and her flat and just everything. Lighting up every two minutes. Was too much.


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## Jammer25 (Feb 22, 2014)

99% of the time it would be a deal breaker.

She would have to have some amazingly redemptive qualities about her for me to live with the fact that she smokes.


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

Depends on how much they smoked and if they insisted on smoking indoors.

I'm a smoker myself so smoking itself is not an instant dealbreaker.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

It's hot and smells good but says a lot about her intelligence level which could be a pretty big turn off. It's not a deal breaker tho.


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## scooby (Jun 24, 2009)

Even as someone who is a non-smoker in the fitness industry, no I don't care if they smoke. In fact someone I'm pretty into smokes. Quite a bit.


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## Memory (Mar 4, 2011)

I can't stand the smell. It makes me feel sick and grimy. I hold my breath every time I walk by someone who's smoking. So no I wouldn't want to be with someone who smokes. If they switched completely to nicotine gum instead then it wouldn't be a problem.


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## kageri (Oct 2, 2014)

I would even reconsider being friends upon finding out someone smokes. The smell is horrid, sticks to everything, and is one of the only things that gives me asthma attacks. I have had so much less breathing difficulties since smoking was banned in all public places and it's safe to go sit in restaurants now. It's not that I dislike the people who smoke. I hate the smoke. You can do what you want but part of the consequences of doing what you want is many people not wanting to be around you.


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

I tend to avoid smokers but if I happen to like the person I've never held it against them.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Its gross. Already lost someone to cancer, no more thanks.


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## Catherine Cavatica (Feb 2, 2011)

No way. I smoke.


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

It used to be, but I'm considering taking up smoking myself now. At the end of the day, even if you do consider it a bit of an ugly habit, so what? Your partner's general personality matters more, and it's not like they will never do other gross things.


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## Repix (Jan 14, 2016)

As long as they don't smoke my cigarettes.. I need my daily packs. ALL OF THEM! >:l


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

If they are a serious chain smoker that smokes all day, every day then yeah that is a definite deal breaker. If she just smokes occasionally like in social situations I think I'd be okay with it. Though I really hate the smell of cigarette smoke and being around it for too long or too much of it bothers my allergies.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

No it woudn't. I don't care. 

Most of my buddies are smokers but I choose to not smoke because I don't want to get addicted and I know from watching porn that addictions are pretty friggin hard to quit.

Porn isn't as bad as smoking though at least long-term health wise. Maybe it is, guess i'll find out in the future...


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## Dane (Jul 27, 2009)

Smoking a couple of times a week while in bars or clubs would be fine.

Going much beyond that would be a negative.


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## helenav (Mar 5, 2016)

I don't think I could date a smoker


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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

I can deal with cigarettes, although I would prefer not.

Weed is a big turn off, though.


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## Rains (Jan 20, 2016)

Yeah it kind of is a deal breaker because I'm averse to the smell and it triggers asthma attacks. I can go without medication most of the time. But if I lived with or hung out a lot with a smoker, I'd probably be in perpetual respiratory discomfort, and have to go on medication indefinitely. And I'm not willing to do that. They should quit anyway, because it is a pretty pointless and antisocial habit imo. 

Also, I prefer the idea of a partner who's physically fit, athletic and robust. And when I think of smokers, they conjure an image which is basically the opposite of that.


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

It probably would depend on how often she did it. Occasional? I don't give a damn. If she can't make it an hour without having a smoke or three, no way. I'm kind of at a stage where being the least bit picky is not something worthwhile. I guess I'd have to analyze it on a case-to-case basis. (If I'm ever alone with a chick again, that is).


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## AllTheSame (Mar 19, 2016)

It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me. I used to smoke. I'd hope she'd be willing to at least try to quit though. There really is no benefit to it at all, it's a nasty, disgusting habit and I had no idea how bad it smelled....it gets in your clothes, it stays on your breath, it gets in your car, everything. I walk by smokers now and I'm just blown away at the smell, yet while I was smoking I really couldn't smell it.

I don't smoke anything anymore (weed or cigarettes) but I wouldn't have a problem with her smoking weed. There are actually a lot of benefits to that for some.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I wouldn't mind a social smoker, someone who puffs when out with friends for example, but a regular smoker would generally be a deal breaker because I have asthma


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## bobbythegr8 (Apr 1, 2013)

Yikes, I better quit.


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## DeadlyFurryWeeb (Apr 6, 2016)

I know a lot of people will not share my opinion, but smoking would be a complete deal breaker for me. Three of my grand parents have died from smoking cigarettes, and if the person I was potentially dating was willing to shorten his/her life and the lives around them for their enjoyment, I would end it. I'm completely opposed to cigarettes, they don't only kill you, but the smoke they release can give other people cancer. Also, You are literally just killing yourself. I view that as, well, unintelligent.


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## LemonBones (Sep 25, 2015)

She better be down toi smoke weed and ****


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Smoking is about the filthiest thing someone can do these days. Short of working in a garage and coming home covered in grease, the only slightly less nasty thing would be coming home reeking of stale smoke and having yellow teeth.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

It's just ****ing dumb. 

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk


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## 8888 (Oct 16, 2014)

If they smoke marijuana it's a deal-breaker, because that's illegal where I live (unless it's for medical reasons). Regular cigarettes, it may be a deal breaker because I hate the smell. Possibly not a deal-breaker if they are trying to quit. I'd help them quit if they were the right person.


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## AllTheSame (Mar 19, 2016)

Btw, happy 4/20 everyone. Ffs I don't even smoke weed (anymore) but I've gotten a few fb messages and texts wishing me a happy 4/20.


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## Blue2015 (Jul 3, 2015)

As long as she doesn't smoke inside.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

An absolute dealbreaker.

And I wouldn't look back.


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## SouthWest (Dec 4, 2014)

I've dated several smokers before. It didn't bother me then, but I may have problems with a partner smoking today because my mum and my sisters have all moved on to vaping. It's possible I would notice it more because of its long absence in my daily life.


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