# Falling in love on SSRI.



## Antacid (Aug 26, 2011)

Hi.
I know i'm a kind of infrequent user here and pretty new, so i hope i'm not breaking some etiquette rule by posting this poll. But i was wondering about people's experiences.

I suffer from Social Anxiety and Depression. I'm 34 and never had a gf or any sort of romantic relationship. A while ago i managed to go out for a few dates while on prozac. Prozac made me feel better, but i didn't feel anything for the women i dated, even though they were all cute, smart, nice etc.
Reading a little on the web made me realize that some experts think falling in love is like OCD, your seratonin levels are dropping and you kinda get obsessed about the person you are in love with, so SSRIs by raising seratonin levels, prevent that.

So i was wondering, have you managed to fall in love while you were taking some an SSRI or some other medication that affects seratonin? If so, what medication was it?

Thanks.


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## beaches09 (Feb 1, 2009)

Oh man I could write a book about this. I have to run though. Maybe I'll get the chance when I get back.


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## RockiNToM (Jun 15, 2009)

Interesting topic. 

I would say yes it is possible. I voted "No" but I am unsure to be quite honest. I did have a brief period while I was pro social on Paxil where I got quite close to a girl in one of my classes at college. I felt attracted to her, but I don't remember if it was love or just that we became close on interests/friendship.


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## swim (Apr 4, 2011)

more serotonin = less romance


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## istayhome (Apr 4, 2012)

The loss of libido on ssri's made "falling in love" the last thing on my mind and quite impossible. No attraction=no love.


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## ladysmurf (Jan 3, 2012)

Why wouldn't you be able to fall in love?


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## istayhome (Apr 4, 2012)

ladysmurf said:


> Why wouldn't you be able to fall in love?


my mom never hugged me and my dad never played catch with me.


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## fanatic203 (Jun 23, 2010)

Yes, on Prozac.


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## beaches09 (Feb 1, 2009)

Ok so I did some thinking about this while I was away. And this is what I have come up with.

I have found high dose SSRIs to without a doubt make me more uninhibited and my emotions obviously of course more blunted. As a result I had many relationships and experiences while on them.

Most of the women I was with while on them I didn't have any feelings for other than sexual. And therefore that's how I treated the relationship. Always up for a good time and even fun times going out, but never any thoughts about it going further.

And the kicker is, mind you, this is coming from a guy that is totally absolutely a natural passionate romantic.

During these specific periods of high dose SSRI use then coming off of them I have at times looked back and thought to myself "what the hell was I thinking", so and so girl was amazing etc, and I'd be lucky to have her. But I never once thought that on the SSRIs. To add to that I often met fantastic girls that were very great and I had a habit of completely blowing them off.

Now that gives more evidence to the theory of not being to fall in love while on SSRIs. But here is the other thing.

While on those SSRIs I did occasionally encounter girls that I thought were very special and would have had feelings for. For whatever reason circumstances/timing wasn't right and nothing came of them. But I am confident if they had, I would have fallen in love with them.

So here is my conclusion. It's natural for many people especially those that have a tendency of depression/anxiety/isolation/etc or whatever else, to more easily fall in love than others. Therefore the way I think of it is the SSRI is more a toughener and a filter. And here I'll explain why.

For example, in my experiences when I look back I didn't have feelings for any women I dated while on SSRIs, but when I think about some of them now (while not on SSRIs) I could easily see myself caring about them and being genuinely interested in them. But I also couldn't see myself marrying them. But those other "special" girls, they got through the filter. So if you look at it in that way, maybe the SSRI filters out the people that really wouldn't be right for you in the first place, they are just people we are temporarily with because you know how it goes, everyone likes/needs companionship and it's part of growth. But the SSRI makes you stronger in that you don't fall for them because subconsciously you know they aren't the right person for you. Therefore you don't settle out of comfort.

Now before anybody has the urge to pick that apart, this doesn't mean leading people on and breaking hearts. I never once lead any woman on, and nobody should ever lead a person on. Always be true in your intentions and what you're all about. 

That is my theory.


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## gilmourr (Nov 17, 2011)

Just saying, this poll will most likely be skewed to the "no" side after a lot of votes.

Most people on this forum have great problems just living normally day to day. I'm guessing those people are going to have trouble falling in love just because they don't have the chance to. This doesn't mean that the SSRI prevents people from falling in love.


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## TheoBobTing (Jul 8, 2010)

You may well be able to fall in love with someone while you're taking an SSRI, but god dammit you'll be lucky to be able to consummate the marriage.


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## GotAnxiety (Oct 14, 2011)

Girls love it if your on ssri cause you turn into a machine but it nothing but frustration for you. It diffently can be a relation breaker and leave crushed hearts. Ssri can make you make bad decision cause it makes you too happy.i kinda felt girls were more attacted too me on an ssri specially well drunk i would more likely hit on them or try and bring them home. Ssri cause better blood flow too my member and just reduced the feeling. But it unnatural sex and you sweat so much it gross. maybe wellbutrin can bring back orgasms anyone know?.


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## istayhome (Apr 4, 2012)

beaches09 said:


> Ok so I did some thinking about this while I was away. And this is what I have come up with.
> 
> I have found high dose SSRIs to without a doubt make me more inhibited and my emotions obviously of course more blunted. As a result I had many relationships and experiences while on them.
> 
> ...


Nice thinking and you make some great points!

After reading that and looking back on my time on SSRI's I remember that anytime I was rejected by a potential "love interest" I really didn't care at all. That's pretty different from my otherwise unmedicated state. Part of it is probably just experience that has come with age, learning to not really care about rejection but in retrospect there was a noticeable difference when I was on SSRI's. Even if I was rejected by a woman who I felt was the most wonderful woman I had met in my life, I just didn't think about it afterwards. That might be good to an extent, not feeling any negative feelings that come with rejection. But part of it might have been not so good because if I had cared a little more I might have spent more time and seen where the relationship could go.

The speedy "give up" response is not something I am predisposed to and I may have lost someone great during my time on SSRI's.


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## A Sense of Purpose (May 8, 2011)

beaches09 said:


> Ok so I did some thinking about this while I was away. And this is what I have come up with.
> 
> I have found high dose SSRIs to without a doubt make me more uninhibited and my emotions obviously of course more blunted. As a result I had many relationships and experiences while on them.
> 
> ...


I whole heartedly agree with this and can relate to a lot of what you have said.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

TheoBobTing said:


> You may well be able to fall in love with someone while you're taking an SSRI, but god dammit you'll be lucky to be able to consummate the marriage.


^ Now that's funny!:yes


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## Inshallah (May 11, 2011)

I'm more likely to fall in love ON SSRI's than I am while not on them. I simply don't care for other people enough to come anywhere close to the state of love when not on antidepressants.


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## Antacid (Aug 26, 2011)

Cool, right now the poll is 7-7... that gives me some hope. At least some people seem to be able to pull it off.

beaches09, interesting post, i hope you are right, i hope the "special" girl can get through the SSRI fog... of course, it can also be different for different people. Oh, how i wish that there was more knowledge about this.


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## Inshallah (May 11, 2011)

I'm basically the exact opposite of beaches, I would certainly care more for people ON SSRI's than off, including feelings of genuine love.

But perhaps this is so because I have always been (very) depressed and he was on them more for his SA?


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## Antacid (Aug 26, 2011)

I'm not sure "love" equals "falling in love" though, when i was on prozac i felt love family and pets. I also felt other emotions. "Falling in love" is the first stage of romantic love, the stage where you see that person everywhere and they are always on your mind, that kind of obsession probably requires low levels of seratonin, or maybe i'm wrong. But maybe romantic love can develop even if you skip the obsession stage, i don't know, never been there.
Maybe people who require that obsession stage fail to achieve love on SSRI's while people who don't require that first obsession stage can achieve romantic love?


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## Inshallah (May 11, 2011)

Antacid said:


> I'm not sure "love" equals "falling in love" though, when i was on prozac i felt love family and pets. I also felt other emotions. "Falling in love" is the first stage of romantic love, the stage where you see that person everywhere and they are always on your mind, that kind of obsession probably requires low levels of seratonin, or maybe i'm wrong. But maybe romantic love can develop even if you skip the obsession stage, i don't know, never been there.
> Maybe people who require that obsession stage fail to achieve love on SSRI's while people who don't require that first obsession stage can achieve romantic love?


That could very well be it indeed. I would never like the obsessive love and I know most other people don't neither so I wouldn't want it anyway


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## RockiNToM (Jun 15, 2009)

I guess you could say, it depends on the medication. Some SSRIs are stronger than others. On Paxil I was probably social enough to meet girls easily, but also I didn't feel as strongly about them in the attraction sense, hence probably why the confidence. I tend to find, if I am very attracted then I become too shy and all confidence goes out the window. I think it's probably better to have a little bit of nervousness/anxiety to make the attraction work otherwise they just become another person.

It's important to have some sense of emotion/fear and therefore why I won't go back to feeling without that again from some of the antidepressants I have taken in the past.


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