# age difference, 33 years



## Riri11 (Mar 24, 2013)

theres this guy who I like but he's 55 and I'm 22... if I'm going around preaching about how appearance isn't important and how a soul connection is all that matters maybe I should give him a chance.. I truly do believe in age being irrelevant.. meh :/

have I lost it?:sus


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## Gavroche (Jan 12, 2013)

Riri11 said:


> have I lost it?:sus


Yes, I believe so.

Where in the world do you even meet a 55 year old in a social setting?


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

Good luck


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## Ruthy17 (Apr 15, 2015)

I used to fancy my friends Dad, but it was just a silly crush looking back. If you like him, then why not. He'd probably be crazily happy knowing an early 20s girl wants him!


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## Riri11 (Mar 24, 2013)

Gavroche said:


> *Yes, I believe so. *
> 
> Where in the world do you even meet a 55 year old in a social setting?


thanks for being honest.. I think I need a reality check.. someone write me a check


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## Gavroche (Jan 12, 2013)

Riri11 said:


> thanks for being honest.. I think I need a reality check.. someone write me a check


I didn't want to sound rude, but I felt I had to just out and say it. It just seems like in this day and age there is a huge disconnect between the world of someone in their early 20s and someone in their mid 50s, you're at the age of first entering the workforce, and this man is likely prepping for retirement. I feel like I'd have a hard enough time relating to someone who is in their 30s let alone their 50s! What was making you even contemplate this?


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## Riri11 (Mar 24, 2013)

Gavroche said:


> I didn't want to sound rude, but I felt I had to just out and say it. It just seems like in this day and age there is a huge disconnect between the world of someone in their early 20s and someone in their mid 50s, you're at the age of first entering the workforce, and this man is likely prepping for retirement. I feel like I'd have a hard enough time relating to someone who is in their 30s let alone their 50s! What was making you even contemplate this?


being rejected and used for sex by men my age, thank you though for helping


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Well you aren't gonna have a "soul connection" with a 55 year old lol. Well maybe you will, but he won't. You are just a baby to him. But the real question is: is he hot??


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## DistraughtOwl (Mar 1, 2014)

Riri11 said:


> being rejected and used for sex by men my age, thank you though for helping


Seems like you've been hanging around the wrong guys. I don't see how a 50 year old wouldn't use a 20 something for sex. Unless his libido is gone or something.

I wouldn't say appearance isn't important at all. Besides I don't see you having a "soul connection" with a 50 year old man but that's your decision I guess. Just seems disgusting to me.


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## Riri11 (Mar 24, 2013)

Imbored21 said:


> Well you aren't gonna have a "soul connection" with a 55 year old lol. Well maybe you will, but he won't. You are just a baby to him. *But the real question is: is he hot*??


:cig he's rich


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Gavroche said:


> I didn't want to sound rude, but I felt I had to just out and say it. It just seems like in this day and age there is a huge disconnect between the world of someone in their early 20s and someone in their mid 50s, you're at the age of first entering the workforce, and this man is likely prepping for retirement.


 You mean they still allow old people to retire? Where?


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## Gentlecrab (Apr 14, 2013)

Let's be realistic here. Even if you both love each other he is at the age where his health will begin to fail and then you will have to take care of him. Eventually he will die and you will be left to mourn. Being a widow at such a young age can be dangerous in regards to your own mental health.


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## Gentlecrab (Apr 14, 2013)

Riri11 said:


> :cig he's rich


Well then, so much for preaching about "soul connection".


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## Kcnca (Jan 26, 2013)

Life is full of these:









There are those of us who stick our fingers in them and have stories to tell, and there are those of us who spend our lives living vicariously through other peoples stories.

Which person are you?


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## Riri11 (Mar 24, 2013)

Gentlecrab said:


> Well then, so much for preaching about "soul connection".


I never said I liked him because of that.. @Imbored21 lists being either *hot OR rich *as very important components of a relationship.


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## Riri11 (Mar 24, 2013)

Kcnca said:


> Life is full of these:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


:blank 
am I supposed to be one of those people that sticks their fingers in all of those ?


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

It is a big difference. But if you want to know if he is gonna pay interest in you, just look at your butt, if it is hot, then .. sure, he is going to give you attention.
If you want love, I cant tell .. possible? Maybe. But 55 and 20 something are two different mind sets.

But, what the hell ? If you want it, give it a shot.


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## roverred (Dec 23, 2007)

He's 55 still got some good time left. Nobody says the relationship has to be long-term. If you just want some fun with a rich guy dude, just do it.


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## Riri11 (Mar 24, 2013)

roverred said:


> He's 55 still got some good time left. Nobody says the relationship has to be long-term. If you just want some fun with a rich guy dude, just do it.


heh.. I just want someone to cuddle with, and have him be mature enough to understand and respect me. I truly am not looking for something short term fun..


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## Riri11 (Mar 24, 2013)

In a Lonely Place said:


> You are attracted to him so why not? Not every relationship has to be serious or for life.


for someone like me ? yes and yes.


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## Gentlecrab (Apr 14, 2013)

Riri11 said:


> I never said I liked him because of that.. @Imbored21 lists being either *hot OR rich *as very important components of a relationship.


Mhm by soul connection I believe you mean connection to his bank account and his will but ok. And who is Imbored21? Is that the guy who plays WoW all day? Yeah sounds like a real love expert.


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

*It ain't heavy - he's my brother*

he's 67 & I'm 39

something weird in that family. He's about father age to me. Has 4 daughters. Youngest 15, oldest 40

Our mum's dead, and so is our brother

This situation is to be ignored - not dwelled on, but, either the root cause of my whole trouble. Retired parents grandparent age to me after collapsed hospitality business when I was born. Bad luck. Bad mood brining up a young child.

Please keep updating your situation and your choices


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## Riri11 (Mar 24, 2013)

Gentlecrab said:


> Mhm *by soul connection I believe you mean connection to his bank account and his will *but ok. And who is Imbored21? Is that the guy who plays WoW all day? Yeah sounds like a real love expert.


thats not how I viewed him.. but him being rich was a bonus. if you know what I mean.


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## jennyyyxo (Apr 3, 2015)

no offense, but i'm not sure what a man in his 50s and girl in her early 20s could even have in common

those are two completely different areas in life


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## ifyoubuildit (Apr 12, 2015)

Riri11, do what makes you happy


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

Riri11 said:


> for someone like me ? yes and yes.


"Yes and yes" but you always talk about one night stands and more recently about guys using you for sex. So what's the truth? Really.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

You'll hear stories of relationships lasting even with significant age gaps. Some people make it work. 

What success rate they have compared to close-in-age relationships, who knows. How would you measure that, anyway? 

People will have their opinions, but they don't really know you, so they are based on generalizations.

As for risking your mental and emotional well-being in doing so... Well, you're risking those things every time you get close to someone (age regardless), so...

Do what you want; do what feels right.


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## Riri11 (Mar 24, 2013)

Just Lurking said:


> You'll hear stories of relationships lasting even with significant age gaps. Some people make it work.
> 
> What success rate they have compared to close-in-age relationships, who knows. How would you measure that, anyway?
> 
> ...


meh. its funny because they often say that love is sacrifice and I'm starting to believe this statement.. uh..

me
wants = stable relationship
needs = true love, soul connection

normal people
wants = true love, soul connection
needs = stable relationship


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## Riri11 (Mar 24, 2013)

sajs said:


> "Yes and yes" but you always talk about one night stands and more recently about guys using you for sex. So what's the truth? Really.


:rain
get used to me, I'm difficult to understand


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

Riri11 said:


> :rain
> get used to me, I'm difficult to understand


Its not difficult, it's senseless, :lol

And, I guess that those guys do not force you, right ? So, why do you do it if you are going to blame them or complain about it ? I dont get it.


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

Well there is viagra....don't give him a heart attack.

_Staff Edit_


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## Rickets (May 5, 2014)

Did you have father or abandonment issues by any chance?


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Rickets said:


> Did you have father or abandonment issues by any chance?


Why do you need to seek out a root mental illness for the attraction? Really?


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## meandernorth (Nov 12, 2014)

That's a significant age difference. I never say "Never" in life. That said, being in different life chapters could be among the obstacles to success.


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

Have fun dating your dad.


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## UnderdogWins (Apr 9, 2015)

Riri11 said:


> theres this guy who I like but he's 55 and I'm 22... i I truly do believe in age being irrelevant.. meh :/
> 
> have I lost it?:sus


 I would strongly recommend you evaluate what you want out of life.

Its sounds like you do not have a strong history of friendship with this gentleman. So I assume your connection is not that strong to begin with.

As you claimed you're just tired of guys in your age range because they are only looking for a physical relationship. So I think you are considering this gentleman because you're lonely.

Even if you truly liked (loved?) this guy there are a number of issues to consider. Do you dream of having children? It may more difficult to conceive children as he gets older. Even if you could conceive children how would this older man handle newborns? It's a major life changing event.


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

you're both adults, do what you want. imo.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Yeh I mean do whatever. But you're not going to have anything long term or super serious with the guy, it's just not gonna happen. So once you inevitably fall in love with him because he's "mature" and "understands you" and is rich, you're going to end up being very, very disappointed soon afterwards.

It seems like you just need someone to fill an emotional void, even if it will end poorly. You just need it so badly that rationality goes out the window. But hey, as long as you learn from these experiences then whatever. At least you're trying things.


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## Riri11 (Mar 24, 2013)

Rickets said:


> Did you have father or abandonment issues by any chance?


Yes.. :cry


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## Riri11 (Mar 24, 2013)

Guy rejected me


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## slowlyimproving (Jan 2, 2014)

Riri11 said:


> Guy rejected me


That's just as well. Sounds like you're seeking a long term relationship...take it slow, use some restraint and wait until you find the right guy.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Riri11 said:


> Guy rejected me


Use this as an opportunity to work on yourself a little bit and put relationships on the back burner. You seem to be putting far too much focus on getting into one and as a result you're becoming far to attached to people. (which can scare people off)


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## Riri11 (Mar 24, 2013)

Paper Samurai said:


> Use this as an opportunity to work on yourself a little bit and put relationships on the back burner. You seem to be putting far too much focus on getting into one and as a result you're becoming far to attached to people. (which can scare people off)


No 
I just have to accept im going To get rejected every single time :cry


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## Riri11 (Mar 24, 2013)

slowlyimproving said:


> That's just as well. Sounds like you're seeking a long term relationship...take it slow, use some restraint and wait until you find the right guy.


Ugh 
I just have to accept this.. I'm a failure


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## Rickets (May 5, 2014)

KyleInSTL said:


> Why do you need to seek out a root mental illness for the attraction? Really?


It interests me that's why.


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## meandernorth (Nov 12, 2014)

Riri11 said:


> No
> 
> I just have to accept im going To get rejected every single time :cry





Riri11 said:


> Ugh
> 
> I just have to accept this.. I'm a failure


You're not a failure. Love, like, relationships, etc. often happen on Mother Nature's timeline. Just keep trying to meet people and let a natural friendship go where it goes.


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## Riri11 (Mar 24, 2013)

shorefog said:


> You're not a failure. Love, like, relationships, etc. often happen on Mother Nature's timeline. Just keep trying to meet people and let a natural friendship go where it goes.


I see people who are in relationships who probably aren't even that committed to them and here I am waiting for the one, willing to die for the one, yet I'm getting constantly disappointed. every heart break is like death.


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## meandernorth (Nov 12, 2014)

Riri11 said:


> I see people who are in relationships who probably aren't even that committed to them and here I am waiting for the one, willing to die for the one, yet I'm getting constantly disappointed. every heart break is like death.


I understand how you feel. It can be frustrating. I hate to say this because waiting is painful but it might be better to wait. Like you mentioned, there are people in relationships who aren't committed. One way to avoid meeting someone like that is to take things slower. Don't settle. There's nothing wrong with having expectations and, at some point, you'll probably meet that someone. If anything, any uncommitted relationships you see around you can help you avoid getting involved in one. While you're waiting, work on things you want to pursue. Work, school, volunteering, personal items, and stuff like that will help you lay a nice foundation. When you meet that special someone, that foundation might help.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Rickets said:


> It interests me that's why.


So, you're also interested in making someone feel broken? Got it. :clap


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## Riri11 (Mar 24, 2013)

shorefog said:


> I understand how you feel. It can be frustrating. I hate to say this because waiting is painful but it might be better to wait. Like you mentioned, there are people in relationships who aren't committed. One way to avoid meeting someone like that is to take things slower. Don't settle. There's nothing wrong with having expectations and, at some point, you'll probably meet that someone. If anything, any uncommitted relationships you see around you can help you avoid getting involved in one. While you're waiting, work on things you want to pursue. Work, school, volunteering, personal items, and stuff like that will help you lay a nice foundation. When you meet that special someone, that foundation might help.


meh,
thanks
I'm lonely and numbed out emotionally due to how lonely I'm feeling, I feel like while I can make "friends" , I fail at my friendships due to the fact that they have people close to them and I don't, so I'm either too needy or too disconnected.


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## zoslow (Jun 2, 2014)

Riri11 said:


> No
> I just have to accept im going To get rejected every single time :cry


Of course you aren't. Though it might feel like that sometimes I totally get it.

But someday a guy will come along and realize how much in common you got and how he likes all the various aspects of you and what a keeper you are.  Just need to be patient.


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## Riri11 (Mar 24, 2013)

zoslow said:


> Of course you aren't. Though it might feel like that sometimes I totally get it.
> 
> But someday a guy will come along and realize how much in common you got and how he likes all the various aspects of you and what a keeper you are.  Just need to be patient.


the reality is that i hate getting my heart broken, so no i don't want anyone to come along.

let me die alone


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Riri11 said:


> Guy rejected me


Did he give a reason?


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## zoslow (Jun 2, 2014)

Riri11 said:


> the reality is that i hate getting my heart broken, so no i don't want anyone to come along.
> 
> let me die alone


You won't feel like that once you meet that person that in ways completes your life.


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## hoddesdon (Jul 28, 2011)

twitchy666 said:


> he's 67 & I'm 39
> 
> something weird in that family. He's about father age to me. Has 4 daughters. Youngest 15, oldest 40
> 
> ...


your profile says you are 38


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## Riri11 (Mar 24, 2013)

zoslow said:


> You won't feel like that once you meet that person that in ways completes your life.


will you volunteer ?


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## zoslow (Jun 2, 2014)

Riri11 said:


> will you volunteer ?


Somehow I doubt you would want a socially awkward guy that pretty much no one wants to date and that lives in another country. But if for one or another strange reason that would appeal to you my PM box is always open.


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## Riri11 (Mar 24, 2013)

zoslow said:


> Somehow I doubt you would want a socially awkward guy that pretty much no one wants to date and that lives in another country. But if for one or another strange reason that would appeal to you my PM box is always open.


:cry no one wants me


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## zoslow (Jun 2, 2014)

Riri11 said:


> :cry no one wants me


Poor us:no


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

Riri11 said:


> Guy rejected me


What happened? Did you ask him to be your boyfriend?


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## Rickets (May 5, 2014)

KyleInSTL said:


> So, you're also interested in making someone feel broken? Got it. :clap


Nope just experienced it a lot and was curious. You, however seem pretty keen on trolling people. The question wasn't for you and OP didn't have to answer it but chose to.


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

Gay :/


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## Bored Alien (Feb 5, 2015)

Riri11 said:


> will you volunteer ?


Hey there :um


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## UnderdogWins (Apr 9, 2015)

Riri11 said:


> Guy rejected me





slowlyimproving said:


> That's just as well. Sounds like you're seeking a long term relationship...take it slow, use some restraint and wait until you find the right guy.





zoslow said:


> Of course you aren't. Though it might feel like that sometimes I totally get it.
> 
> But someday a guy will come along and realize how much in common you got and how he likes all the various aspects of you and what a keeper you are.  Just need to be patient.


 I agree with these statements. You just have to wait for the right guy to come along.

*Now go listen to some good music to get you mind off of it*. Music always helps me when I'm feeling lonely or sad.

"Wherever you are, whenever it's right, you come out of nowhere and into my life."


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## Kanova (Dec 17, 2012)

I find that pretty ****ing gross, but that's just me. Think how old he was when you were just born, ugh.


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## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

Riri11 said:


> heh.. I just want someone to cuddle with, and have him be mature enough to understand and respect me. I truly am not looking for something short term fun..


Have some short term fun anyway...there can always be exceptions to the rule. Just do it


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