# Violent thoughts, but scared to tell someone



## Faded Lines (Sep 22, 2006)

Ok, I know this may be frowned upon but I have nowhere else to talk about it. As many of you may know, I have some anger issues (such as a very short temper and violent thoughts). I have tried my best to suppress my violent thoughts, but now they have taken a turn for the worst. For the past couple of days, I will just be sitting in class, in a good mood, nobody is doing anything annoying. Let's say I take a look at maybe one of the nicest kids in class...literally, out of nowhere, my thoughts will shift to violence. I don't get it. I will start looking at him and thinking how great it would be to just peel back his face or hack of all of his limbs, and it gives me pleasure to think about. The part that really bugs me, is that I start to feel tense, almost as if I am holding myself back from actually doing it. 

I don't know why I feel this way, especially since I can be in a good mood and start thinking like that and barely feel phased. I want to tell someone, but I am afraid they'd put me on some sort of watch or in like a psych ward or something.


----------



## Madison_Rose (Feb 27, 2009)

I think if you're not actually hacking anyone's limbs off then just having violent thoughts is not nescesarily bad or wrong. It's a problem if it upsets you, or if you act upon those thoughts.

Have you considered taking up a martial art? A proper, sensible one will teach you not just how to hit hard, but when it is appropriate to hit hard, ie only in self defence. I recommend this one: http://www.shorinjikemponyc.org/ Why not email this branch, or any martial arts club that may take your fancy. Be honest, say that you have SA and that you have a few anger issues. If get a sensible, helpful response, try a class.

I trained in Shorinji Kempo for two and a half years before I had to give it up because of my job. It made me a calmer, happier person.

Edit: Oh yeah, and don't watch horror movies, they'll just fuel your imagination and make you worse!


----------



## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

lol ive had thoughts in a ocd type of tape of slicing a womans throat and have had neighbors call the police. now theirs the constable patroling the neighborhood like im some kind of serial killer.


----------



## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

The stuff ...music and videos that are violent like that one you posted..is triggering them for sure....you might want to completely stop that and watch violence within an actual situational context when there is a reason for it like in other action movies. When I watch that my mind makes judgments on what is happening, it doesn't just flow into my mind as normal in itself..and it does not bother me later..

Then there is the full moon that was yesterday but the 3-4 days before and after is also a period of instability. Most wall calendars have when the full moon is and you can mark off those days before and after.


----------



## march_hare (Jan 18, 2006)

You could try meditating. It helps to relax your mind and have greater control over your thoughts.


----------



## GhostX (Dec 16, 2008)

Faded Lines said:


> Ok, I know this may be frowned upon but I have nowhere else to talk about it. As many of you may know, I have some anger issues (such as a very short temper and violent thoughts). I have tried my best to suppress my violent thoughts, but now they have taken a turn for the worst. For the past couple of days, I will just be sitting in class, in a good mood, nobody is doing anything annoying. Let's say I take a look at maybe one of the nicest kids in class...literally, out of nowhere, my thoughts will shift to violence. I don't get it. I will start looking at him and thinking how great it would be to just peel back his face or hack of all of his limbs, and it gives me pleasure to think about. The part that really bugs me, is that I start to feel tense, almost as if I am holding myself back from actually doing it.
> 
> I don't know why I feel this way, especially since I can be in a good mood and start thinking like that and barely feel phased. I want to tell someone, but I am afraid they'd put me on some sort of watch or in like a psych ward or something.


I used to have violent thoughts of what I would do to people that have annoyed me and even like innocent things like you've said about the nicest kid in the class, but as far as it goes I think it just ties down to life sucking at times... most people who are on these forums are put through hell compared to what normal people have to deal with, my self can justify why evil thoughts pop up.

but way you gotta see it is as long as you don't ever get the hunger to actually act these acts out it doesn't matter, but when you do have the urge to kill things human, you should then really go and seek help.

Oh and I took martial arts and its helped me a lot with the anger issues I used to have. 
Also I gained a lot of confidence and self calm when dealing with people
so its a definite double plus to angry males and females to go join a martial arts group


----------



## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

*I had these ALOT and I was in a fear-trance for years. I abhor violence and I thought I was going to become unhinged and hurt myself or others. Try to listen to Lucinda Bassett's tapes. They discuss these. And yes, anger management helps. Being assertive and living YOUR life and not letting others co-opt it will diminish these greatly. Get enough rest and eat properly/exercise and you'll be amazed how healthier your mind behaves.*


----------



## John_in_SF (Mar 1, 2009)

What you're describing, FL, are obsessive thoughts. You don't want them but they pop into your head anyway. This is a symptom of an anxiety disorder. I think that if you tell a professional about the violent thoughts, and emphasize that you don't want to act on them, you will get some help without being locked up.


----------



## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

this could be OCD related. i get intrusive violent thoughts as well - mostly i imagine committing or witnessing a violent act, and just the thought of it makes me worried i will actually go through with it. for example, if i'm standing on the subway platform i'll suddenly get the idea of pushing someone off and it freaks me out so i stand away from everyone and back up against the wall. or if i am holding my baby cousin, i'll imagine throwing her and it will _terrify _me.. that being one of the worse of the compulsive thoughts since it actually stops me from being around young kids since i have those crazy thoughts.

this is a pretty common OCD trait though. this explains it briefly: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive-compulsive_disorder#OCD_without_Overt_compulsions

if you were to tell someone like a therapist or psychologist, i don't think you have to be worried about them locking you up. they see so many patients that they can tell apart those who have the OCD thoughts and those who are actually violent.


----------



## Black_Widow (May 23, 2008)

I've experienced (and still have) unwanted intrusive thoughts since I was about 6 (sometimes of this type of nature) and for many years felt really messed up about it as I'm not a violent person by nature and not inclined to do harm to anyone. Prior to 2007 I didn't understand what was happening to me. I was really scared at the time it was a sign I was going mad.

In the end I decided to tell a therapist as - in addition to SA - felt this was causing me a number of problems and desperately felt I needed to tell someone. It was very hard, but I was glad I did as she really put my mind at rest - pointing out that in fact it's normal to have those types of thoughts from time to time and that (as mentioned already in here) there's a difference between having them and acting on them. She also confirmed that it was a sign of OCD - in my particular case.

Maybe considering seeing a counsellor or therapist (if you're not already) might also help you? It's just a suggestion anyways.



Madison_Rose said:


> Edit: Oh yeah, and don't watch horror movies, they'll just fuel your imagination and make you worse!


Agreeing with this. I've found that's happened to me too before. Although not with all horror films.


----------



## determinedtowin (Nov 19, 2008)

John_in_SF said:


> What you're describing, FL, are obsessive thoughts. You don't want them but they pop into your head anyway. This is a symptom of an anxiety disorder. I think that if you tell a professional about the violent thoughts, and emphasize that you don't want to act on them, you will get some help without being locked up.


When people have obsessive thoughts (as in OCD) they DO NOT gain any pleasure from the thoughts - in fact, for those with OCD, the thoughts cause tremendous fear and repulsion and they do anything to get rid of the thoughts.

If your thoughts are related to anger or hate, i seriously suggest that you talk to a therapist.


----------



## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

Instead of suppressing them you should find a way to release them.


----------



## sonya99 (Sep 5, 2005)

I think you would absolutely hate doing those things that pop into your head. That's my guess that I base upon my own experience. It's not as if I've never had a super violent sadistic thought before. Fantasy is different from reality. If you seek some professional help for these thoughts that seem to be plaguing your mind, I think the therapist would encourage you to express these thoughts and not feel the need to hospitalize you or something, unless you say something like you are seriously terrified that you're on the brink of one day snapping and harming/killing people.


----------



## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

I think you should talk to a therapist about this.


----------



## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

shyvr6 said:


> Instead of suppressing them you should find a way to release them.


:lol what are you saying?


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Every once in a while I have angry/violent thoughts about others that have frustrated me, I think it's normal. However if it's frequent you may want to see a therapist even if only to a get a sense of the root cause of them.

In terms of releasing or expressing the thoughts you may consider taking up martial arts like others have mentioned or even regular art. If you've seen the covers of some metal bands albums then you'll know that they can be very graphic in depicting violence/anger. So long as you're channeling the thoughts in art like this without acting them out it may be helpful.

If you're looking to remove these thoughts more thoroughly then as others have also said staying away from violent films/music/art may be the better option


----------



## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

I think violent thoughts can be implanted when artistic mediums such as music videos, music words or art or story lines are allowed to be watched without the mind making appropiate judgments on it. Appropiate judgments are that is it gross or sick or disgusting or wrong and with a feeling of repulsion. If what you are watching seems to try to make bad seem good in any way, it is immoral of the artist to do that and you should not let yourself be caught up in why this it but know you are being manipulated psychologically is enough. Shock does cause energy however and that is all you need to know that you are being manipulated through shock along with some element present that is calming such as a rhymthic beat or calming intonation of words despite the words meaning themselves. Watching a movie allows the judgment to still be in place, unlike just music or just art, unless it is glorifying violence and you agree with that. Usually it is bad guys and good guys and you root for the good guys internally and are disgusted by any act of violence from the conflict at some level but having empathy for all characters as human at least. There may not be a story such as the video that Faded Lines posted. No story = no empathy for anyone who is hurt in that video. I think the critical mind is important to keep engaged to judge things so the mind is kept protected. If the violence bothers me in a movie however, even if there are good guys I turn it off too. I then reflect on what I had seen so far and wrap up the meaning of it in my mind to some conclusion. I don't need to see the conclusion of the movie to make a conclusion on what it means to me. I have learned to read the content of rated R films first for the tags if it has graphic violence in it. Adult language or whatever they call it, does not bother me much if it is slight in one of the minor characters. It is good to condemn things that are not good to keep it out of your mind. If you don't condemn it, it will be allowed to remain. The only thing you have to do is say "I don't like this" and/or avoid looking at it and look away or avoid it completely. Things that are made to confuse the senses of morality of good and bad like that with elements to shock and to calm also are an artistically moral crime.


----------



## Black_Widow (May 23, 2008)

Canadian Brotha said:


> In terms of releasing or expressing the thoughts you may consider taking up martial arts like others have mentioned or even regular art. If you've seen the covers of some metal bands albums then you'll know that they can be very graphic in depicting violence/anger. So long as you're channeling the thoughts in art like this without acting them out it may be helpful.


Agreeing with this. (good suggestion there Canadian Brotha ;-))

Just as a further thought, you might also find that writing it all down in some form helps. Such as in a private journal. Or through creative writing. I personally almost always find that getting any kind of negative thought down onto paper helps me feel better.


----------



## Faded Lines (Sep 22, 2006)

Black_Widow said:


> Agreeing with this. (good suggestion there Canadian Brotha ;-))
> 
> Just as a further thought, you might also find that writing it all down in some form helps. Such as in a private journal. Or through creative writing. I personally almost always find that getting any kind of negative thought down onto paper helps me feel better.


If you check out the Arts subforum on here, I posted a lot of my writing. Check it out.

Thanks everyone for your responses. And shyvr, that was a really funny response haha...I know what you meant though.

@Sunshine, you always speak of the music I watch/listen to...you have to understand that I cannot enjoy listening to anything else, it has no substance and doesn't make me feel good so I don't see the point.


----------



## Black_Widow (May 23, 2008)

Faded Lines said:


> If you check out the Arts subforum on here, I posted a lot of my writing. Check it out.


Will do!


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

The intrusive thoughts are completely unwanted, as the name suggests, and can pop into your head sporadically and without warning. It is normal to sometimes imagine bringing harm to somebody who has brought you harm or discomfort in the past, but once you imagine yourself committing horrific crimes toward your family members things can become quite disturbing indeed. This is why I hate knives when my younger siblings or parents are around, and also why I cannot stand holding something so fragile and defenceless such as a small baby or animal. I know it's not that I can't trust myself, it's just the thoughts alone repulse and terrify me.


----------



## natevines (Mar 7, 2009)

Yes.
I frequently fantasize about killing people. I'll talk to a stranger with a friendly smile on my face but just be thinking about beating the sh*t out of him/her.

Never acted upon it, don't know how I would react.


----------



## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

I think thoughts like that are normal and I think everyone has them once in awhile. Its just that some people will admit it when others won't. Some people say they've NEVER had one thought about killing themself or someone else and I have and will always believe that those people are full of ****. They're just too worried about what other people think of them and don't realize that the THOUGHTS are normal. Its when you actually go through with these thoughts or seriously plan them out, that you need to worry.


----------



## flickaflicka (Jul 8, 2008)

This is really embarrassing/funny, but if it makes you feel any better, I once was sitting in a meeting, fuming at my boss, and had the sudden urge to bite her on the arm. It was the weirdest thing ever, and freaked me out at the time because I rarely have thoughts like that. In retrospect it's actually pretty funny.

I think that sometimes when we're stressed the older parts of our brain, the lizard fight or flight parts, start lashing out. The point is, you don't act on these thoughts. I agree with previous posters that asserting yourself more and taking some martial arts might be helpful in getting you in touch with your own personal power in a way that's productive.


----------



## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

Because I have obsessions, I am unable to watch anything violent. This is a trigger for me. Like the other day something about Columbine was on tv and I was like nope, I can't watch that. Yet, I can get stupid obsessions even if I am just watching pleasant tv. They can be pretty unpleasant, yet I know that these are just thoughts and that I have no intention on acting on them. I sometimes get angry and frustrated with myself about it, though.

What I find most interesting about your post is that you say that you are barely phased by your violent thoughts, while I am distressed and shocked when these thoughts come to mind. 

Maybe, you should talk to someone about them.


----------



## wxolue (Nov 26, 2008)

cognitive behavioral therapy the most common form of therapy used in anger management and prisons. Not saying your a criminal, but it can help to remove undesirable thoughts or emotions form your head. They also use it for people with eating disorders, OCD, and a host of other mental problems. not just anxiety


----------

