# I feel like my brother "stole" the good genes?



## DetachedGirl

Hey,everyone.
Does anyone else here feel jealous of how your sibling/s,is/are better than you in like every category ? My personality faults definitely outweigh the few good traits,and my older brother doesn't seem to have anything wrong with him!He's better socially(definitely the opposite of me),financially well off.better looks,smarts,better relatioship with my parents(I feel like that,mostly because they never cease to compare the two of us and point out everything he's achieved)..now,i know i have a lifetime to work on my flaws and try to be better,but it's crazy how we're not alike AT ALL!it seems to me that he either took all the good genes and i'm left with leftovers lol crazy or not?
p.s. I don't really want my account removed,I was just having a really bad day and got a little extreme by saying that....


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## twistedlogic89

definitely not crazy. I know exactly how you feel.

I always got slightly better grades than my sister who is closest in age to me, but she always had everything else. Good at sports, popular, never got in trouble, better with her finances, much better relationship with my mother. As opposed to me, being socially awkward, into offbeat things, terrible at sports, few friends, always broke, have been in trouble with the law on more than one occasion, and was always sneaking out of the house to go drink during my high school days. My sister is the golden child and i am the black sheep. :b


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## mSerenity

Oh yes, I have an older brother too and I feel that he's just so smart, seems like he's got the answer to everything I ask him, so wise all the time =( But hey, I am thankful to have him as a brother because he helps me out a lot. I am jealous of him but really, what good does that do to me? So might as well turn this into a positive situation? I'm sure you've got positive traits about you that your brother wishes he has, he just might not share them with you. =D


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## kittyxbabe

Eh no.. my brother is better looking than me (I'd estimate he's considered about a 6/10 in terms of looks by the general female population but he's only 5'3") but he's 15 and his handwriting still isn't legible, he has problems with depression, he had ADHD and as a kid was tormented for being small (Only 40 pounds and very short through a lot of elementary school.. someone attempted to push him in front of a car once). Isn't very bright in terms of academics (though he's great with mechanics.. ) 
My brother is also better off socially . He has a decent circle of friends going. I'm really happy for him in elementary school he practically had none he saw on a regular basis and he was miserable. I'm happy he's happier than he was in elementary.

My other half-brother (different dad) was born with cerebral palsy, walks with one of his feet turned to the side, he can still talk and socialize with people like a normal person.. but still..

I'm the most intelligent academically out of all 3 but I struggle with depression, ugliness, eating disorders, social anxiety..

It's like all the bad genes in my family's lineage got passed down to my siblings and I. (I believe my ugliness comes from my moms side) My mom wasn't very attractive either and apparently my biological grandmother was worse (My mom was adopted.. I've never seen my biological grandma).

I feel like such a disappointment..  I wish I had a sibling that actually made my parents proud because I feel like my brother and I are both huge disappointments to my parents. Neither one of us has achieved much.


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## firestar

It's not crazy. I have a brother who is less than a year younger than me, but we could not be more different. He's much more outgoing than I am, he's more physically attractive (relatively speaking), and he's more open with other people. It seems like everyone likes him, while I'm usually ignored. 

I love my brother and we have a good relationship, but of course I'm jealous of him sometimes. We're so close in age that I feel like we should be similar, either equally ignored or equally loved, but we're not. It seems unfair.


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## Kakumbus

He doesn't have better genies he is just different then you and doing better.


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## Crimson Lotus

The feelings are understandable, but sadly I don't think genes don't work like that lol.

That being said, the fact that he's the older brother may have had some impact, specially if you were born after your mother reached a certain age. The elder the woman (and to a somewhat lesser degree the father) the higher the chances for issues with the child.


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## Kieran92

i can relate to this.. to me my younger bro was just always better at sports, better at making friends and just a cooler guy.. i'd have people in the year ahead of me at school and in my own year come up to me ask me how it was my brother was so much cooler and more likable than me.. it sucked, but I read a book (Private Peaceful, Michael Morpurgo) where the theme was brother's, it was very like my situation, and there was one line I always remembered.. "I don't live in his shadow, I live in his glow" his good fortune is my good fortune because he's MY brother, one family!


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## always starting over

I don't know how it is for women, but I've read that men get less and less testosterone as they get more and more brothers. So the oldest always gets the most by default.


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## Miss Awesome

My older brother and I are very different, but I've never really considered that genes could be responsible. I have sometimes wondered how we turned out so different when we grew up in the same situation. Then I remember that living in the same house doesn't mean we've had the same experiences, and even when we had the same experiences, we experienced them differently. Anyway, my point is that I don't think you can pin it on genes alone. I think environment has a lot to do with it too.

Also, probably not what you want to hear (and I'm sorry for that), but I think this may be a case of the grass being greener on the other side. You admit that you have some good traits, and I bet there are things you're better at than your brother. Try to focus on those - and I'd also suggest that you sit down with your parents if you can, and tell them how you feel when they compare you to him. Obviously I don't know your parents (so please forgive me if I'm wrong), but parents generally don't want to hurt their kids. I'm guessing they might try to cut back on the comparisons if they knew how it made you feel.


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## HopefulDreamer

Yes. My sister is gorgeous. I think she could be a plus sized model if she wanted to be one. We have different fathers, so we're only half sisters. People are always surprised when they find out we're sisters, because we look nothing alike at all. She's also outgoing and has a lot of friends. I'm not really sure about smarts, but I think she is smarter than me but she dropped out of school. I expect she would have done well if she'd stayed in school though. I've been jealous of her my whole life. I'd give anything to be as beautiful as her. I don't get why she got to have to such a beautiful face and I had to be so ugly.

Me, I am extremely ugly. I have a learning disability as well. I'm a slow learner, it takes me a lot longer to learn things, even simple things. It took me a lot longer than the average person to learn to drive a car! I don't understand math at all. They wanted me to be in the easy classes, but I was stubborn and I refused to go in them. I wanted to do all the harder classes, but I only managed to pass with below average to average marks, except History. But I was determined to prove everyone wrong because everyone like talking about how stupid I was, so that's why I did the harder classes. I even went back for an extra semester before I graduated. 

My sister thinks that I have the good life, and she has the harder one. I disagree. She has a son, she has friends, she is beautiful, she has a boyfriend, and even when she is single she has a line up of guys wanting her. She is smart. She says she wants my life because I have a license and a car, I make good money and I am skinny while she is overweight. I've give it all up to have everything she has. She has a pretty face, so it doesn't matter if she is overweight. I'd rather be overweight and beautiful than skinny and ugly. She can lose weight if she really wanted to.


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## RelinquishedHell

My 16 year old sister has the best genes in the family. She has no emotional problems, is in great physical shape and is very intelligent and well off socially. She gets straight A's and will be going to FIU on a scholarship through her softball team.


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## Raynic781

Yes, my bro "stole" the good genes, lol!


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## MilkyChocoxD

My younger brother has tons of friends and lots of girls like him, he's good looking, he has top marks in his school but doesn't study, I hate it.

But, he also doesn't have any empthy for people with mental disorders, which means he makes me feel like ****.


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## Raeden

HopefulDreamer said:


> My sister thinks that I have the good life, and she has the harder one. I disagree.


Life is always greener on the other side of the fence.


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## Trident44

I'm in the same boat. I'm the oldest of three boys. Yet, I'm the ****ing shortest. I resent it, a lot. Every time my brothers tower (kind of) over me.. although, people, for some reason are still able to "sense" that I'm the oldest, when they first meet us..

I'm not a midget or anything (5'11) but both of my brothers are well taller (6'1'', 6'2''..) they also used steroids in high school (can't even begin to express how much this pisses me off) so they look huge (although, they're losing muscle really fast now since they've stopped)...

I guess it's my attitude, seriousness, and my facial hair (that my brothers seem to not be able to grow) that makes people get a sense that I'm older...


I like my face, but my brother has a pointier nose that I'm jealous of.. yes, these are the kinds of things that go through a black person who lives in America's mind... living nightmare, if you ask me.


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## jesse93

Well I don't have an older brother, I have a younger brother, and even he talks down to me because of how I never go outside and such he makes fun of me. My oldest sister definitely seemed to get all the good genes though, she's beautiful smart motivated friendly she's a great person, I feel like the black sheep in my family, I feel just like my father to be honest, he didn't amount to much in his life and is now in a mental hospital for the rest of his life, and it honestly feels like i'm headed in that direction :no


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## PerfectlyIsolated

Yes, you could say I feel this way sometimes. My sister is about three years younger than me yet she has done much more to be successful in life. So much so that I feel I'm just struggling to get out of the gate, and she is midway through the race. My sister was always more sociable, and I believe extroverted as well. Very strong willed, opinionated, stubborn yet highly intelligent and able to focus and mufti-task. While I was still living at home, she managed to get pregnant, get married, move away from home start a family, go to college, become a RN, find a second marriage (that was healthier) and then juggle a career, and a family of her own before I had moved out of my parents house at 27. It got to a certain point when she had her first child that I felt that my role in working to carry on the family line was no longer necessary. Things got progressively worse as she continued to be successful building a life and the most I could do was move out on my own, work a dead-end job and suffer from severe depression, anxiety, isolation, and relationship dysfunction. I watched my finances get flushed down the drain due to impulsivity while she was building a healthy foundation for the rest of her life. She recently came to visit and seemed to be quite neuro-typical though she was empathetic to the problems I had been going through, and how hard it was to deal with my parents some time. She even said she had post-partum depression after having kids, but even that seemed to have passed. Compared to me, that would have been a picnic.

So to summarize, I feel I got the worst of both worlds in terms of mental disorders from my parents (depression, and OCD tendencies from my mom; anxiety, more depression, panic attacks and impulsive anger issues from my dad). I guess that explains why she is a successful person, and I am approaching my 30th birthday still stuck in the mud.

Heck, she might just have to take care of me some day in the not so distant future. And that would be an awful thing for me to have to come to terms with. Essentially being nothing more than a dependent in the family; another helpless child to look after.

So in many ways, I hope I die before that time comes.


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## Ntln

I'm jealous of my sister. She's successful, doing well in Uni abroad (and she didn't even remotely have the opportunities I do), she's great-looking and she could easily get a boyfriend if she wasn't obsessed with finding a really tall man and didn't reject every shorter guy who approached her (she's 6 feet tall), she's in great shape, she's outgoing, she has lots of friends, she gets along better with my parents, yet she is also far more independent. Meanwhile, here I am, average looking at best, have zero girls interested in me, a bit out of shape, doing bad in school and probably won't be able to get into a good uni and a social failure in almost every way. And yet she's still the one who complains and cries all the time. She'd have literally a perfect life if she was more open minded and yet she still thinks my problems are non-existent and I only complain.


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## Dawnbreaker45

Haha maybe you just need to find a starting point with your life and just keep trying to make yourself higher and if you ever need help, it seems like your brother is a good person to ask!


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## 7th.Streeter

Same boat.


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## Kinokocha

I felt exactly that way about my older sister. She is 38, I am 29 and until recently I felt she had it all, almost everything you described exactly. She has the looks, intelligence, outgoing, etc.,etc.. Everything I'm not and don't have. I was surprised to find however, that she was no better off than I am, even with my social anxiety and lengthy list of flaws. Yes, she has the great husband, is well off and all that, but I found beneath her seemingly perfect exterior there's some pretty dark, ugly secrets. It's like her "perfection" is just a facade to cover up the ugliness she doesn't want other people to see. 

For the first time in my life I don't envy her at all. :/ I'd rather be the person actually trying to live life honestly and dealing with my many issues than someone who just puts on a show and lives a lie for the sake of seeming perfect. I might not have as many things going for me as my sister, but it's nice to know my parents hold me, the "screwed up one," in higher regards than my "perfect" sister lol...


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## Scarves n Converse

*I feel you.*

My family just doesn't understand what's wrong with me.

Some times I start crying over something stupid, and my mother thinks it's hormones, but I know it goes deeper. I don't know how to tell anyone, though.

Sometimes I feel like everyone hates me because I'm too clumsy, I cry too much, I'm too quiet. But I can't help it.


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## Slytherclaw

Yeah, my brother has better luck with the "friend" thing. Also the "not crazy" thing. Also the good hair.


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## Crispy Taco

I have thin hair while my brother has a thick head full of hair.
My brother has a larger pool of friends while I'm kind of invisible to people.
My brother is better at sports, and I'm constantly referred to as "X's brother" when people do notice me. I have a name ya know!


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