# Any other ex-Jehovah's Witnesses suffering with SAD?



## garth560

I was born into a J.W. family and it took me 32 (I'm now 35) years to break free of the extremely controlling cult that it is. Looking back I can't believe it took me so long to get out, but when you are born into it it becomes your identity. It definitely played a large part in me developing SAD as being a JW isolates you from the rest of humanity and I was bullied at school a lot for being 'different'.

So now at 35 years of age I have no friends and even my parents (who are still JWs) won't have much to do with me.

I'm probably now what JWs would refer to as an 'apostate', which is a label they stick on you to ensure that any JWs that might still want to keep in touch with you, stay the hell away from you.

I guess I'm agnostic now but I don't really like the label. I don't believe in a god but I'm open to the possibility that there could be, if that makes sense...


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## markwalters2

garth560 said:


> I guess I'm agnostic now but I don't really like the label. I don't believe in a god but I'm open to the possibility that there could be, if that makes sense...


Welcome to the club. Agnostics do acknowledge the possibility of god. Atheists supposedly don't. There are plenty of like-minded people here 

Glad that you got out and hope you enjoy the conversations and support here.


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## Under the Radar

Yeap. I was raised with the JW ideology but now I'm an agnostic (maybe even atheist). Sometimes I'm thinking this religion really slowed down my emotional and intellectual development. I wish I'd given up earlier on this religion like when I was 14 or 15, maybe my life would have been a lot better now.


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## Noca

garth560 said:


> I was born into a J.W. family and it took me 32 (I'm now 35) years to break free of the extremely controlling cult that it is. Looking back I can't believe it took me so long to get out, but when you are born into it it becomes your identity. It definitely played a large part in me developing SAD as being a JW isolates you from the rest of humanity and I was bullied at school a lot for being 'different'.
> 
> So now at 35 years of age I have no friends and even my parents (who are still JWs) won't have much to do with me.
> 
> I'm probably now what JWs would refer to as an 'apostate', which is a label they stick on you to ensure that any JWs that might still want to keep in touch with you, stay the hell away from you.
> 
> I guess I'm agnostic now but I don't really like the label. I don't believe in a god but I'm open to the possibility that there could be, if that makes sense...


Congratulations on your recovery from the disease known as religion. I too was infected with it at birth, and it took me many years to recover as well, though my particular strain of religion was not as invasive as yours was. I am sorry that your parents are still suffering from this illness, I can only hope that the too may one day recover before their brains have completely necrotized.


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## sadgirl95

I was raised a JW as well my mother got baptized while she was preg. with me lol i am not one but my parents still are I know what you mean i wasnt like the other kid because my morals were diffrent like I have a hard time connecting with people who lie, cheat, steal, kill etc. and think Ill always be like that. and I dont believe its a "cult" but that just MY opinion.


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## garth560

Thanks so much for kind replies everyone! 

Sadgirl95 - It wasn't that the other kids at school had different morals to me (except maybe that I didn't swear), it was more to do with me not celebrating, well.. everything basically. And some kids saw me out in the 'field service' dressed in a suit and tie. Plus I had almost no idea how to interact with non JW kids as I was forbidden to have any non JW friends.


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## garth560

sadgirl95 - I should add that I too have a hard time connecting with people who lie, cheat, steal and kill. Especially people who kill - I generally try to avoid them


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## Noca

garth560 said:


> sadgirl95 - I should add that I too have a hard time connecting with people who lie, cheat, steal and kill. Especially people who kill - I generally try to avoid them


lol this too, who hangs out with people who kill?


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## on the edge

I was also born into and raised in this religion. It really is a cult-like mentality that these people have. You cannot associate with anyone outside it (worldly) except to preach to them the good news of the kingdom.

You cannot vote, celebrate any holidays religious or secular, attend or celebrate birthdays, say the pledge of allegiance or even stand when it is being said or the anthem is being sung, hold a political office, give or take blood transfusions or any medications derived from blood, be alone with someone of the opposite sex unless you are married, masturbate because it will make you gay, go to a church that is not a kingdom hall, or associate with or even talk to people that have fallen out of good standing with the congregation and are now disfellowshipped, including family members. You are encouraged to shun your own family.

It is easy to see how vindictive this "religion" is in the amount of control it has over its members. Complete mind control.

Its extremely difficult for anyone who is a former cult member to reintegrate with society, ESP. when exposed to it at such a young age.

That along with the fact that I'm gay has made my life hell for the past 14 years. I'm now 26 and have wanted literally nothing but to end my life for many years. I think about it everyday. I've just never had the courage to do it.


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## ShyGirl Ireland

my mom was jw my dad catholic bt didn't go to church so the only religion i knew was jw as i got older i started to realize things i disagreed with but it wasn't until a close family friend that was a jw was having issues with alcohol and reached out to only be dismembered and have people turn there backs on him. my mom and myself left the religion and tried contacting him to find out he had taken his life.
i was around 14-15 at the time and hold a lot of guilt still. 
i don't believe in religion anymore.


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## diamondheart89

My name is A---- and I am a recovering religious zealot. We have a whole Fanatics Anonymous going on here, I like it.


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## Brad

on the edge said:


> masturbate because it will make you gay


They really believe that? If that were the case every guy on the planet would be gay.


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## harrison

on the edge said:


> I was also born into and raised in this religion. It really is a cult-like mentality that these people have. You cannot associate with anyone outside it (worldly) except to preach to them the good news of the kingdom.
> 
> You cannot vote, celebrate any holidays religious or secular, attend or celebrate birthdays, say the pledge of allegiance or even stand when it is being said or the anthem is being sung, hold a political office, give or take blood transfusions or any medications derived from blood, be alone with someone of the opposite sex unless you are married, masturbate because it will make you gay, go to a church that is not a kingdom hall, or associate with or even talk to people that have fallen out of good standing with the congregation and are now disfellowshipped, including family members. You are encouraged to shun your own family.
> 
> It is easy to see how vindictive this "religion" is in the amount of control it has over its members. Complete mind control.
> 
> Its extremely difficult for anyone who is a former cult member to reintegrate with society, ESP. when exposed to it at such a young age.
> 
> That along with the fact that I'm gay has made my life hell for the past 14 years. *I'm now 26 and have wanted literally nothing but to end my life for many years. I think about it everyday. I've just never had the courage to do it.*


I'm very sorry to hear it - please don't let those idiots make you believe you're any less of a person than they are.

I was raised in a religion called the Seventh Day Adventists - it's funny because other people used to often think that we were Jehovah's Witness. ( Believe me, they're equally as stupid and also use terms like "worldly". )

I let them know what I thought of their nonsense when I got to about 16 years of age, plus my father was never religious in any way - it was just my poor old mother.

OP I'm glad you were able to get away from them and I wish you all the best.


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## acw151

My Grandmother, who was a Jehovah's Witness up until the day she died, suffered with SAD. I think that was down to all the abuse she got from when she did her door-to-door ministry, I know from what I heard some of the people she tried to preach to were VERY threatening and bordering on violent towards her. I think at one point, her nervousness bordered on agoraphobic.


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## NeedleInTheHay

Brad5 said:


> They really believe that? If that were the case every guy on the planet would be gay.


no, they really dont.

anyways all religions can go and i would be a happy man.


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## ugh1979

garth560 said:


> I was born into a J.W. family and it took me 32 (I'm now 35) years to break free of the extremely controlling cult that it is. Looking back I can't believe it took me so long to get out, but when you are born into it it becomes your identity. It definitely played a large part in me developing SAD as being a JW isolates you from the rest of humanity and I was bullied at school a lot for being 'different'.
> 
> So now at 35 years of age I have no friends and even my parents (who are still JWs) won't have much to do with me.
> 
> I'm probably now what JWs would refer to as an 'apostate', which is a label they stick on you to ensure that any JWs that might still want to keep in touch with you, stay the hell away from you.
> 
> I guess I'm agnostic now but I don't really like the label. I don't believe in a god but I'm open to the possibility that there could be, if that makes sense...


Sorry to hear about the abuse you suffered as a child.

I commend you on breaking free from the shackles of religion. You sound like an intelligent level headed strong person, as I know you need to be to escape such a religion that has forced itself into your life from birth. I can hope that you will find friendship and happiness despite your SAD.


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## garth560

Thank you ugh79. Something that is helping me with my SAD and re-connecting with people outside of religion is meetup.com - I've joined a few meetup groups on there (one for social anxiety) and it's been a tremendous help in getting out of the house and meeting people with similar interests.


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## Zack

Nearly every thread here mentions masturbation.


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## ugh1979

garth560 said:


> Thank you ugh79. Something that is helping me with my SAD and re-connecting with people outside of religion is meetup.com - I've joined a few meetup groups on there (one for social anxiety) and it's been a tremendous help in getting out of the house and meeting people with similar interests.


Good stuff.


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## Duzie

I wasn't born into a JW family, but I almost married into one. So glad I didn't.
What I hated the most was not being able to donate blood while dating him.. He always found a way to make me feel ashamed for wanting to do it. The *man* said it was wrong, so I had no say in it, or any matter.
I'm happily tattooed now, and many more are coming. I think he would've preferred to my skin burned than inked.


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## The Phantom Pain

It's brutal. 99% of my lack of social skills comes from most of their teaching that everyone not in the religion is "worldly" and shouldn't be associated with (despite the fact that they go door to door to spread their word) and that you couldn't learn stuff like martial arts that would have really helped me in the beginning of jr high school.

Not to mention that it's almost training wheels to be agnostic because they promise of Armageddon and their other teaching that probably won't ever happen. I'm not 100% full blown agnostic yet, but I'm sure getting there.

I doubt I would even stick with the religion even with the guilt from my family or if I met a person I would marry in it. I couldn't raise my kids to believe like I did. It's either a mainstream religion, or nothing.


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## MagusAnima

I was born in too, but got out early luckily (around 8 or so).

I heard there's been a lot of bad press in Australia about the JWs, court cases and so on, especially about children being abused, I wish the press would report more about them here in the UK as well.

They are such a ridiculous religion really, a 10 second search on google will unearth their history of contradictory doctrines and weird origins. But none of them are allowed to google it because looking at non-approved materials is not allowed.

There are some great support forums for ex-JW's out there if you haven't already found them:

http://www.jehovahswitnessrecovery.com/forum/index.php

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/

http://exjehovahswitnessforum.yuku.com/


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## NeedleInTheHay

Dreday said:


> It's brutal. 99% of my lack of social skills comes from most of their teaching that everyone not in the religion is "worldly" and shouldn't be associated with (despite the fact that they go door to door to spread their word) and that you couldn't learn stuff like martial arts that would have really helped me in the beginning of jr high school.
> 
> Not to mention that it's almost training wheels to be agnostic because they promise of Armageddon and their other teaching that probably won't ever happen. I'm not 100% full blown agnostic yet, but I'm sure getting there.
> 
> I doubt I would even stick with the religion even with the guilt from my family or if I met a person I would marry in it. I couldn't raise my kids to believe like I did. *It's either a mainstream religion, or nothing.*


I speak from experience, definitely go for the latter.


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## garth560

I totally agree - NO RELIGION is the best religion!


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## BiagioScanz444




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## The Phantom Pain

MagusAnima said:


> I was born in too, but got out early luckily (around 8 or so).
> 
> I heard there's been a lot of bad press in Australia about the JWs, court cases and so on, especially about children being abused, I wish the press would report more about them here in the UK as well.
> 
> They are such a ridiculous religion really, a 10 second search on google will unearth their history of contradictory doctrines and weird origins. But none of them are allowed to google it because looking at non-approved materials is not allowed.
> 
> There are some great support forums for ex-JW's out there if you haven't already found them:
> 
> http://www.jehovahswitnessrecovery.com/forum/index.php
> 
> http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/
> 
> http://exjehovahswitnessforum.yuku.com/


Thanks for that. I had no idea it was that wide spread, but then again it's no surprise. Like I said, their silly rules are 99% of the reason I have SAD, so I can only imagine how it's affected others.



NeedleInTheHay said:


> I speak from experience, definitely go for the latter.





garth560 said:


> I totally agree - NO RELIGION is the best religion!


Yeah I can't see myself getting into another religion at this point, at least not seriously. I think it's better to get religious in old age _after_ you've actually lived, not the other way around.

You miss out on too much.


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## ugh1979

garth560 said:


> I was born into a J.W. family and it took me 32 (I'm now 35) years to break free of the extremely controlling cult that it is. Looking back I can't believe it took me so long to get out, but when you are born into it it becomes your identity. It definitely played a large part in me developing SAD as being a JW isolates you from the rest of humanity and I was bullied at school a lot for being 'different'.
> 
> So now at 35 years of age I have no friends and even my parents (who are still JWs) won't have much to do with me.
> 
> I'm probably now what JWs would refer to as an 'apostate', which is a label they stick on you to ensure that any JWs that might still want to keep in touch with you, stay the hell away from you.
> 
> I guess I'm agnostic now but I don't really like the label. I don't believe in a god but I'm open to the possibility that there could be, if that makes sense...


Commendations to you.

That's a shame you have no friends and are even shunned by your parents. If I lived in Adelaide i'd reach out and offer some friendship if you wanted it but i'm the other side of the world unfortunately. :|

I just hope you can recover from your imposed "cult" upbringing and experience and find happiness.


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## ugh1979

MagusAnima said:


> I was born in too, but got out early luckily (around 8 or so).
> 
> I heard there's been a lot of bad press in Australia about the JWs, court cases and so on, especially about children being abused, I wish the press would report more about them here in the UK as well.


Indeed. It's very rare to see much press about JW's. Especially compared with other religions. Maybe they just keep themselves that closed off from the rest of the world?



> They are such a ridiculous religion really, a 10 second search on google will unearth their history of contradictory doctrines and weird origins. But none of them are allowed to google it because looking at non-approved materials is not allowed.


Indeed it's ultimately just a crazy cult.


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## TicklemeRingo

Wow! Australia, Ireland, Romania... 

I had no idea JW was so widespread. I though it was mostly an American thing?

I imagine it would be even worse to be JW in a country where it is not very common, as you would feel even more different and cut off from everybody else around you.


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## BadGirl

garth560 said:


> I totally agree - NO RELIGION is the best religion!


well done garth560,
i once dated (in secret) a JW, it didn,t last long as i was never able to see any evidence that the world was about to come to an end, & i couldn,t agree with some of their version of The Bible (their own translation), 
despite all the terrible news from around the world, i believe that the world is getting better, and i hope it gets better for hou personally,
(( hug ))


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## TicklemeRingo

BadGirl said:


> despite all the terrible news from around the world, i believe that the world is getting better


This is true, and strangely it's something that a lot of people don't seem to realise.

Check this book out:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Better-Angels-Our-Nature/dp/1455883115


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