# Dating as an atheist/agnostic



## free thinker (Nov 11, 2003)

No doubt dating for the socially anxious can be a serious challenge in itself, but for those of us who also have an indifference or repulsion to religion or spirtuality, the prospect of meeting someone compatible and maintaining a relationship often seems about as likely as winning a million dollar lottery. The link below is a brief article on the subject. 
http://msn.match.com/msn/article.as...ngID=516311&BannerID=544657&menuid=8&GT1=9983


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Sometimes it feels like it, but I think more people are open-minded than we think. I'm open-minded to religion and dating people who are religious.


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## nesteroff (Nov 14, 2003)

Do you see the poles on belief in god on this board? Something like half the people who voted came out as nonbelievers. Just judging from that I really wouldn't think it would be that hard to meet nonreligious people with SA.


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## mserychic (Oct 2, 2004)

It's never been an issue for me.. even when I was with a devoted Roman Catholic :stu


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

so far ive only dated athetists


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## free thinker (Nov 11, 2003)

*Re: re: Dating as an atheist/agnostic*



nesteroff said:


> Do you see the poles on belief in god on this board? Something like half the people who voted came out as nonbelievers. Just judging from that I really wouldn't think it would be that hard to meet nonreligious people with SA.


Outside of SAS the numbers are much different. In the U.S., less than 10% of the population is either atheist or agnostic. Lately, I've made a habit of bringing up the subject of my lack of belief to the attention of the people in the different groups I've attended and to this point I have yet to hear from any woman who has stated that she doesn't have some kind of religious or spiritual belief.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

*Re: re: Dating as an atheist/agnostic*



free thinker said:


> nesteroff said:
> 
> 
> > Do you see the poles on belief in god on this board? Something like half the people who voted came out as nonbelievers. Just judging from that I really wouldn't think it would be that hard to meet nonreligious people with SA.
> ...


Maybe that's telling us something. Maybe we all need to be religious, then we wouldn't be socially anxious anymore.


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## Nae (Nov 10, 2003)

I sometimes chat online with a devote Jewish girl who dates a devote catholic. :lol I am not sure how problematic being an atheist would be on the dating scene, unless either party is intent on pushing their view. It is known atheists are less trusted by society so perhaps a jewish girl dating a catholic guy is more likely than a catholic or jew dating an atheist?


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## sonya99 (Sep 5, 2005)

I think it would be harder if you were religious.


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## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

*Re: re: Dating as an atheist/agnostic*



free thinker said:


> Outside of SAS the numbers are much different. In the U.S., less than 10% of the population is either atheist or agnostic.


Where's the proof?
I came across this Newsweek poll that claims 91% believe in God. Instead, what I think it shows is that 91% of _Newsweek readers_ believe in God. 
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17879317/site/newsweek/

Next, they'll take a poll outside a church and proclaim that 100% believe in God. 

Even census results don't show the whole truth, because many people may just put their family's religion, instead of the individual's own belief.

I think small forums, like this one, is where the real truth comes out.

edit: nevermind. I see that the Newsweek poll was conducted by Princeton Survey Research Associates International. So they probably talked to random people. Still, all it shows is that more people with a belief in God take polls about God, while the rest opt-out.


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## free thinker (Nov 11, 2003)

*Re: re: Dating as an atheist/agnostic*



srschirm said:


> Maybe that's telling us something. Maybe we all need to be religious, then we wouldn't be socially anxious anymore.


Heavens, no! :lol

I don't think there is any correlation. I had social anxiety long before I became a non-believer.


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## free thinker (Nov 11, 2003)

*Re: re: Dating as an atheist/agnostic*



Inturmal said:


> Where's the proof?


Actually, there are many surveys done by researchers and polling organizations which support the 90%+ statistic.

"Overall, the center's survey of surveys confirms that America truly is one nation, under God-or at least Americans say it is. In survey after survey, overwhelming majorities say they believe in God. More than nine in 10 Americans-95 percent-told ABC News polltakers that they believe in God. A Gallup Organization survey for CNN and USA Today last December found much the same thing: Nearly nine in 10-86 percent-said they believed in God, while another 8 percent said they believe in some form of "Universal spirit or higher power."

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/polls/wat/archive/wat042400.htm


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## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

*Re: re: Dating as an atheist/agnostic*



free thinker said:


> Actually, there are many surveys done by researchers and polling organizations which support the 90%+ statistic.


Just as I said.. People with a belief in God are more likely to agree to taking a survey in the first place. There's been at least five times where someone called me up asked me to take a poll. I said no, and hung up. Conclusion: All the people who declined to answer are non-religious, and the poll results are skewed. :b

Anyway, on topic, I think it's only a problem in dating when someone has a very strong opinion about it and can't get over it. As long as she isn't a militant religious person, I'm ok with her.


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## free thinker (Nov 11, 2003)

*Re: re: Dating as an atheist/agnostic*



Inturmal said:


> Just as I said.. People with a belief in God are more likely to agree to taking a survey in the first place. There's been at least five times where someone called me up asked me to take a poll. I said no, and hung up. Conclusion: All the people who declined to answer are non-religious, and the poll results are skewed. :b


People who believe in God are *not *more likely to take a survey unless there is bias in the way the question is asked and researchers are trained to avoid this kind of bias otherwise the survey is considered useless. Surveys are done by various methods which will confirm results. When you hear that a poll is accurate within + or - such and such, this means that it *is* accurate to this degree. For researchers and pollsters, this is a science afterall, not a guessing game.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

(I'm often choleric that the existence of God is piledriven into our little baby minds that we, as atheists, even have to ponder about these issues as adults.)

As far as dating, I don't think it makes any difference whether you're religious or an atheist in finding a mate. We have SA. Its difficult for all of us here, (to varying degrees).


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

I haven't thought about this much, but now that I do, I don't think I'd much get along with someone who was annoyingly devout.


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## Nae (Nov 10, 2003)

*Re: re: Dating as an atheist/agnostic*



Mercurochrome said:


> (I'm often choleric that the existence of God is piledriven into our little baby minds that we, as atheists, even have to ponder about these issues as adults.)


I dunno. I grew up in a rather non-religious family with siblings who rejected god and had some strange ideas of their own (albeit maybe more plausible, like perhaps we are a grand experiment started by aliens millions of years ago) yet still debated with myself for a couple years over atheism.

I have a feeling the idea of something more to life than the materialist view(every atheist needs to listen to 'Materialist' by Bad Religion, btw) or the idea that there is something bigger than all of humanity may be something rooted within our biology.


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## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

I am agnostic. I could only date a religious woman if she agreed to keep her religion to herself and to not be offended when I do not go to church with her on Sundays. 

One reason why I don't think such a relationship could last long, is what happens when you start to discuss having kids? I want my kids to grow up to make their own decisions about religion. I thank my parents for not baptizing me as a baby so I could make my own choice. If I'm with a religious woman who would want to baptize or even just brainwash (I'm sorry, I cannot use another term) our kids into believing in whatever religion she believes in, that's the end of the relationship right there.


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## barnabas (Apr 24, 2007)

It must be where I live, but I could've sworn every other person I know is an atheist or indifference to religion in general...

As a sidenote, I think some of you are confusing "being religious" with "having a religion." Being religious means accepting certain beliefs and following certain rituals _without _compromise. You can't expect someone to be religious but not _too _religious - that's just bogus. On the other hand, you _can _expect someone to have a religion and not be too religious... if at all.

I should know, I'm a Catholic who rarely go to church and have yet to read the Catechism. :hide

Secretly I'm just a theist, so yeah.


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## nesteroff (Nov 14, 2003)

pinkeye said:


> It must be where I live, but I could've sworn every other person I know is an atheist or indifference to religion in general...


 :ditto

Religion has never been an issue in any of my relationships. It hardly has ever even come up in conversation.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

*Re: re: Dating as an atheist/agnostic*



srschirm said:


> Sometimes it feels like it, but I think more people are open-minded than we think. I'm open-minded to religion and dating people who are religious.


yep. i dont think most people care these days.


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## mal (Mar 26, 2007)

Is this a US thing ? Most people here don't care about religion.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

*Re: re: Dating as an atheist/agnostic*



mal said:


> Is this a US thing ? Most people here don't care about religion.


the US has many problems labeling and placing people into groups. like the brits and their teeth


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## Mehitabel (Oct 13, 2006)

I'm religious, but not in a God way. I'm Pagan and atheist. I would have no problem dating a religious person as long as they were accepting and open. I only have a problem with relgious people who are pushy and intolerant.


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## mal (Mar 26, 2007)

*Re: re: Dating as an atheist/agnostic*



Gumaro said:


> mal said:
> 
> 
> > Is this a US thing ? Most people here don't care about religion.
> ...


The British teeth thing is a fact :lol


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## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

*Re: re: Dating as an atheist/agnostic*



mal said:


> Gumaro said:
> 
> 
> > mal said:
> ...


yeah it is lol


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

*Re: re: Dating as an atheist/agnostic*



Gumaro said:


> mal said:
> 
> 
> > Is this a US thing ? Most people here don't care about religion.
> ...


I totally agree.


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## Nae (Nov 10, 2003)

*Re: re: Dating as an atheist/agnostic*



srschirm said:


> Gumaro said:
> 
> 
> > mal said:
> ...


It's human nature to place people into groups. Not saying it is right, but it is something that comes easy for us and not just Americans.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

That's true too, Nae.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

I deem it largely a non-issue, assuming the girl isn't some bible thumper who is determined to "save my soul".

The only woman I ever truly loved was Lutheran and she actually liked going to church on Sunday morning. It wasn't an issue since we didn't discuss it. She knew very well what my views were -- that I think religion is nonsense -- and she never tried to push her views on me and, this will shock some of you, I don't run about trying to convert people into atheists. I only debate religion with those who bring up the subject and want a debate -- I'm more than happy to debate it a tear their arguments to ribbons if they ask for it.


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## DisgruntledEmployee (May 29, 2007)

*Re: re: Dating as an atheist/agnostic*



UltraShy said:


> I deem it largely a non-issue, assuming the girl isn't some bible thumper who is determined to "save my soul".
> 
> The only woman I ever truly loved was Lutheran and she actually liked going to church on Sunday morning. It wasn't an issue since we didn't discuss it. She knew very well what my views were -- that I think religion is nonsense -- and she never tried to push her views on me and, this will shock some of you, I don't run about trying to convert people into atheists. I only debate religion with those who bring up the subject and want a debate -- I'm more than happy to debate it a tear their arguments to ribbons if they ask for it.


God is an atheist. **** Jesus and the God he rode in on. Kill me right now god, please.

That's what I thought. Amen.


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