# Are there any decent women out there?



## olschool (Sep 3, 2011)

*I seem to just meet sexually promisicuous women*

I met this girl on an online dating site-- weve been texting for about three weeks--- intimate convos and all that--- the other day , she texted crying about how people used her-- i went into detail and asked who used you - she says a guy wanted to use her car and thaat he was a friend --I asked if she was involved with him - she said they were **** buddies--- my jaw droppped- i told her that i wasnt playing any games and that i tired of it.. now im disgusted with her,- she cant be trusted -- she saiid -im not gona lie weve been **** buddies. Shes had a **** buddie and shes been textin me trying to get with me- I dont respect that- wat is wrng with this girl?She read my profile she knows i dnt want women like her


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

I understand you're upset, but your topic line reeks. A woman can do what she wants with her body. You may feel betrayed, but do not lump all women into a category because you're upset with one.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Did you tell her before that you were only interested in considering a monogamous relationship?

This is the 21st century. If you haven't found the right partner you are looking for in a committed long-term relationship, what's wrong with having some fun in the mean time with a friend with benefits? Maybe you don't believe in it. For a lot of people, they can't keep love and sex separate. I respect that. But lots of people can separate the two.

Personally I wouldn't mind a friend with benefits (I would prefer a real relationship though hands down. Much more rewarding than casual sex, especially one-night stands). But my SA holds me back from say going to a bar or a club and meeting girls who are into that sort of thing. The guys from the Jersey Shore can straight up ask a girl "are you DTF?" with a straight face. They don't care if they get rejected. Because eventually some girl will say "yes". Whereas I know if I get rejected, it's usually a big setback for me because it just reinforces my insecurities and low self-esteem. And dating sites can really crush your self-esteem too given the low response rates on there.


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## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

Bunnybee said:


> You ought to slap that ho.


WFT!


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## Nathan Talli (Dec 13, 2010)

Loosen up bro. This is extremely common for people in their 20's.


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## Marakunda (Jun 7, 2011)

Nathan Talli said:


> Loosen up bro. This is extremely common for people in their 20's.


It shouldn't be... :b

Pretty immature and stupid if you ask me. :no


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

I don't even understand why you're upset with her. At least she was honest. Frankly, I have no problem with a girl sleeping around, as long as she's upfront about it and doesn't manipulate guys just to get some.


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## olschool (Sep 3, 2011)

shadowmask said:


> I don't even understand why you're upset with her. At least she was honest. Frankly, I have no problem with a girl sleeping around, as long as she's upfront about it and doesn't manipulate guys just to get some.


gud advice!!!!!!!


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

olschool said:


> gud advice!!!!!!!


I wasn't giving you advice. You didn't ask for any, merely posed a question that no one here can definitively answer.


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## BrightDays (Sep 13, 2011)

**** that *****!!


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## olschool (Sep 3, 2011)

shadowmask said:


> I wasn't giving you advice. You didn't ask for any, merely posed a question that no one here can definitively answer.


understandable, i was merely just trying to say that your comment made the most since and that i like it -- thats all


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

olschool said:


> understandable, i was merely just trying to say that your comment made the most since and that i like it -- thats all


Oh...I thought you were being sarcastic. Your anger at her is somewhat hard to understand because you didn't clarify whether she actively deceived you in the op. If she did lie in her profile or told you that she's not seeing anyone else, it's a different story.


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## CourtneyB (Jul 31, 2010)

shadowmask said:


> I don't even understand why you're upset with her. At least she was honest. Frankly, I have no problem with a girl sleeping around, as long as she's upfront about it and doesn't manipulate guys just to get some.


And she's willing to take an STD test...? I would have no problem asking a guy I'm getting serious with to get tested.


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## lanzman (Jun 14, 2004)

olschool said:


> I met this girl on an online dating site--


Mistake number one.... :b


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## lonelyjew (Jan 20, 2010)

olschool said:


> I met this girl on an online dating site-- weve been texting for about three weeks--- intimate convos and all that--- the other day , she texted crying about how people used her-- i went into detail and asked who used you - she says a guy wanted to use her car and thaat he was a friend --I asked if she was involved with him - she said they were **** buddies--- my jaw droppped- i told her that i wasnt playing any games and that i tired of it.. now im disgusted with her,- she cant be trusted -- she saiid -im not gona lie weve been **** buddies. Shes had a **** buddie and shes been textin me trying to get with me- I dont respect that- wat is wrng with this girl?She read my profile she knows i dnt want women like her


Well that's incredibly judgmental. So what the hell if doesn't subscribe to your personal value system, are you the universal moral arbiter or something? She has every right to do with her body whatever she wants, so long as she's not being dishonest. If you think she owes you anything because you've been texting for three weeks, she doesn't, and if you're not interested, then just tell her that and move on, instead of being a self righteous jerk.


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## Cynical (Aug 23, 2011)

.....well I'm thinking that might have been a g.i.r.l. (guy in real life). not saying women can't be like that but I find that when women are like that they usually have better finest in saying it lol.


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

CourtneyB said:


> And she's willing to take an STD test...? I would have no problem asking a guy I'm getting serious with to get tested.


I meant on a moral level, I wouldn't look down on a promiscuous girl simply for her sexual behavior as long as she's honest about it. That's not to say I'd consider a relationship with her, in fact, I wouldn't touch her at all, for the reason you mentioned and others things.


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## UniversalPolymath (Jun 3, 2011)

There are decent women all over the place. In fact, the one you've been texting for about three weeks could very well be one of them.


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## olschool (Sep 3, 2011)

lonelyjew said:


> Well that's incredibly judgmental. So what the hell if doesn't subscribe to your personal value system, are you the universal moral arbiter or something? She has every right to do with her body whatever she wants, so long as she's not being dishonest. If you think she owes you anything because you've been texting for three weeks, she doesn't, and if you're not interested, then just tell her that and move on, instead of being a self righteous jerk.


 first, im far from self righteous, she read my profile and it said exactly wat i was nt looking for- one of em was if ur a ho, then stay away from me


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

olschool said:


> weve been texting for about three weeks--- intimate convos and all that


I wish I could find someone to text for 3 weeks, wow, all the guys want to meet after the first message.


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## olschool (Sep 3, 2011)

calichick said:


> I wish I could find someone to text for 3 weeks, wow, all the guys want to meet after the first message.


 i can do that for ya


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

olschool said:


> first, im far from self righteous, she read my profile and it said exactly wat i was nt looking for- one of em was if ur a ho, then stay away from me


I can't believe you actually put that in your profile. If I was a woman, I'd be turned off by a guy who had that in their profile.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

that's because we both have social anxiety =)

We like to live in a fantasy. 


But seriously, what's with all the guys that want me to join them and their girlfriends for threesomes, and all the profile photos of their p94nises laid out next to a ruler...so disgusting!


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## luceo (Jan 29, 2011)

I don't really get where the problem is. She was having sex with someone? Or is the problem that she's having sex with someone that isn't you? It's not like you and her were exclusive. Have you even actually met her or have you just been texting?

If your problem is the fact that she's having sex with someone then you need to either stop being a prude or find a celibate. Sex is fun. People will do it. If she's safe with it then it's fine. Like I said, you two aren't exclusive so she's not cheating. She shouldn't have lost your trust. If anything she's being more honest about her sex life than a lot of people would be.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

olschool said:


> wat is wrng with this girl?


She's obviously severely demented. Possibly sociopathic.


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

phoenixwright said:


> Did you tell her before that you were only interested in considering a monogamous relationship?
> 
> This is the 21st century. If you haven't found the right partner you are looking for in a committed long-term relationship, what's wrong with having some fun in the mean time with a friend with benefits? Maybe you don't believe in it. For a lot of people, they can't keep love and sex separate. I respect that. But lots of people can separate the two.
> 
> Personally I wouldn't mind a friend with benefits (I would prefer a real relationship though hands down. Much more rewarding than casual sex, especially one-night stands). But my SA holds me back from say going to a bar or a club and meeting girls who are into that sort of thing. The guys from the Jersey Shore can straight up ask a girl "are you DTF?" with a straight face. They don't care if they get rejected. Because eventually some girl will say "yes". Whereas I know if I get rejected, it's usually a big setback for me because it just reinforces my insecurities and low self-esteem. And dating sites can really crush your self-esteem too given the low response rates on there.


Jersey shore is fake and stupid. Furthermore if you want to get depressed about your life watch that stupid show.

It says a lot about our society that that is what is popular. The future is looking less and less bright.

If you want to see a real show that is not scripted check out Keys to the VIP.


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## regimes (Aug 24, 2011)

Skylaishot said:


> It shouldn't be... :b
> 
> Pretty immature and stupid if you ask me. :no


I'm not sure what's immature about responding to your instinctual needs...

so what if she has a **** buddy. she told you the truth. girl has a right to do whatever she wants with her bod.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Jersey Shore is basically just a guilty pleasure of mine. I just watch it for the laughs. I don't glorify Mike/Pauly D/Vinny's lifestyle. Their life seems to revolve around clubbing and getting laid. Like yeah if I met a girl that I liked and was attracted to and she was DTF, yeah I'd go for it. But to make an entire lifestyle based on that? No. Ideally I'd want a loving, long-term relationship.


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## lonelyjew (Jan 20, 2010)

olschool said:


> first, im far from self righteous, she read my profile and it said exactly wat i was nt looking for- one of em was if ur a ho, then stay away from me


So tell her you aren't interested, I don't see the need to be judgmental. Just because you have the opportunity to be an a-hole doesn't somehow make it right to be one. Frankly, if you feel the need to do something like that, it speaks volumes of your level of maturity, or lack thereof.


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## olschool (Sep 3, 2011)

lonelyjew said:


> So tell her you aren't interested, I don't see the need to be judgmental. Just because you have the opportunity to be an a-hole doesn't somehow make it right to be one. Frankly, if you feel the need to do something like that, it speaks volumes of your level of maturity, or lack thereof.


ok listen sir, im not judgmental- your missing my point- i told her wat i was looking for in my profile, nut atleast shw was honest with me on the other hand- it has nothing to do with maturity and everything to do with getting hurt - it wont happen again i guarantee you-- dont bring whatever frustrations you have out on me- i dont know you and there is no reason for you to take MY problem personaly -


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

The issue isn't whether or not it's okay to have a **** buddy. The issue is that he invested his hopes for 3 weeks in a girl who he only later discovered didn't meet an important criterion that he had put in his profile. I can see how he would be hurt by that. It's not up to any of us to judge whether his criteria for his own relationships are valid or not.


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## olschool (Sep 3, 2011)

Ape in space said:


> The issue isn't whether or not it's okay to have a **** buddy. The issue is that he invested his hopes for 3 weeks in a girl who he only later discovered didn't meet an important criterion that he had put in his profile. I can see how he would be hurt by that. It's not up to any of us to judge whether his criteria for his own relationships are valid or not.


exactly!!!!!! thank you !!!


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## spaceygirl (Dec 4, 2009)

olschool said:


> Are there any decent women out there?


Yes.


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## olschool (Sep 3, 2011)

spaceygirl said:


> Yes.


i just hope i find one one day


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## Man Is An Island (Oct 12, 2009)

olschool said:


> first, im far from self righteous, she read my profile and it said exactly wat i was nt looking for- one of em was if ur a ho, then stay away from me


'Stro's before ho's, yo.


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## UniversalPolymath (Jun 3, 2011)

Ape in space said:


> The issue is that he invested his hopes for 3 weeks in a girl who he only later discovered didn't meet an important criterion that he had put in his profile.


"if ur a ho, then stay away from me" isn't a particularly clear criterion. A lot of people wouldn't consider a woman who merely has casual sex with a friend "a ho" (myself included), and it's not like she would've read that and thought, "Aw damn, I'm a ho. Guess that leaves me out".

The issue, as I see it, is that she could've been upfront about this other gentleman a lot sooner. But that has nothing to do with ignoring the derogatory instructions on his profile.


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## CynicalOptimist (Dec 31, 2010)

Zeeshan said:


> Jersey shore is fake and stupid. Furthermore if you want to get depressed about your life watch that stupid show.
> 
> It says a lot about our society that that is what is popular. The future is looking less and less bright.


:ditto


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## keyla965 (Jan 13, 2011)

ask her to stop. if she dosnt then shes not worth your time, simple as that


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## Perkins (Dec 14, 2010)

It sounds like you put her up on a pedestal, which you should never do.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

There are decent women out there - you just need to know where to look!


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