# Girls definition for 'creepy'?



## lonesomeboy

for female members of this board, what would you define as 'creepy' or 'creepy' behavior?
just interested. I think for guys its hardcore stalking thats creepy but for girls its much less extreme than that.


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## ardrum

lonesomeboy said:


> for female members of this board, what would you define as 'creepy' or 'creepy' behavior?
> just interested. I think for guys its hardcore stalking thats creepy but for girls its much less extreme than that.





dictionary.com said:


> creep·y [kree-pee] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
> -adjective, creep·i·er, creep·i·est.
> 1.	having or causing a creeping sensation of the skin, as from horror or fear: a creepy ghost story.
> 2.	that creeps: a creepy insect.
> 3.	Slang. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a person who is a creep; obnoxious; weird.
> *4. ardrum*


I _knew_ it!

(Sorry. Back to serious responses from the ladies...)


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## livingnsilence

1) Someone who stalks me
2) Someone that when I'm at the same party or event as them they almost always seem to be lurking over my shoulder even when I try to get away from them (pretty close to stlaking to me)
3) someone who is constantly trying to touch me, and flirt with me and be around me even though I've turned them down multiple times and they won't leave me alone. 
4)guys who seem to only want to be around me when I'm drunk and offer me drinks when I'm drunk and then want to be the one to take care of me when I get so drunk I can't walk and I get sick (luckly I have people who look out for me and don't let these guys get me alone)
5) or just someone who is extreamly weird (I don't run into to many of this last type more the previous ones). 
Unfortunately I tend to attract creepy guys (normally I attract guys that are a combo of 2,3, and 4), it's getting to the point I thinking about never going back to the one place I go to party b/c I have to drink to be able to stand being there and there are several creepy guys there that like me and I'm afraid something might eventually happen (even my "friends" are extreamly suspicious of one of the guys when it comes to me, they are afraid he's going to slip me something, one of them even thinks he has sliped something to me before but I don't know...I know he didn't b4 I blacked out but afterwards who knows, at least nothing happend)


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## Lisa

Men who disregard social conventions, overstep even subtle boundaries. E.g. men who talk to you on public transport or who stand to close to you, men at work/ college who are overfamiliar, men who check me out and don't mind that I notice, men who just stare and stare and stare.


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## meesha327

If you're worried that you're creepy (i'm assuming maybe since you wrote this you think you are? don't know) you are more than likely not. Having SA makes you more aware of social interactions between people so I doubt you have come across that way. anyways, the number one thing that makes girls think you are creepy is if you are touchy/feely or you say sexual/perverted things even in a joking matter. Also if you have a weird obsession with star trek, GI Joes, something like that and if you look creepy i suppose (unkempt, etc) but thats just what would creep me out. no offense to anyone that likes star trek or GI joes, I'm talkin' someone who goes to conventions, wears GI Joe pajamas or something.


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## nothing to fear

meesha327 said:


> If you're worried that you're creepy (i'm assuming maybe since you wrote this you think you are? don't know) you are more than likely not. Having SA makes you more aware of social interactions between people so I doubt you have come across that way. anyways, the number one thing that makes girls think you are creepy is if you are touchy/feely or you say sexual/perverted things even in a joking matter. *Also if you have a weird obsession with star trek, GI Joes, something like that and if you look creepy i suppose (unkempt, etc) but thats just what would creep me out. no offense to anyone that likes star trek or GI joes, I'm talkin' someone who goes to conventions, wears GI Joe pajamas or something.*


but.. those kind of guys are the coolest!


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## Futures

I often times get the impression if you're a guy who the woman is not attracted to and you show interest in her, that alone is enough for some women to label you as creepy.


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## nubly

meesha327 said:


> I'm talkin' someone who goes to conventions, wears GI Joe pajamas or something.


so my spider-man PJs wont freak you out right?


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## Lisa

meesha327 said:


> If you're worried that you're creepy (i'm assuming maybe since you wrote this you think you are? don't know) you are more than likely not. Having SA makes you more aware of social interactions between people so I doubt you have come across that way. anyways, the number one thing that makes girls think you are creepy is if you are touchy/feely or you *say sexual/perverted things even in a joking matter*. Also if you have a *weird obsession with star trek*, GI Joes, something like that and if you look creepy i suppose (unkempt, etc) but thats just what would creep me out. no offense to anyone that likes star trek or GI joes, I'm talkin' someone who goes to conventions, wears GI Joe pajamas or something.


You hit the nail on the head! For a few weeks last year I had to work with a guy who was a Star Trek obsessive and who kept trying to start conversations by telling me that he had bought his neighbour a deck of playing cards with naked women on them. WTF! I gave only one word answers and frequently left the office but he wouldn't get the message and kept making sexual comments in a joking way. In the end I actively avoided him and then he told everyone how very rude I was. :wtf


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## meesha327

nubly said:


> meesha327 said:
> 
> 
> 
> I'm talkin' someone who goes to conventions, wears GI Joe pajamas or something.
> 
> 
> 
> so my spider-man PJs wont freak you out right?
Click to expand...

Well, if they're _your_ spider man PJ's then I guess it's okay, but thats the only exception! :lol


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## WineKitty

lonesomeboy said:


> for female members of this board, what would you define as 'creepy' or 'creepy' behavior?
> just interested. I think for guys its hardcore stalking thats creepy but for girls its much less extreme than that.


That definition is going to differ from girl to girl if you ask me. I have personally been stalked and that to me is the epitome of creepy. But there are other things that qualify as well. But that will differ from one person to the next.

Sorry, probably not much help or insight there, right?? :eyes


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## jane

The* definitive *answer? A creep is a man who needs a restraining order to understand "thanks, but no thanks."

That is why long stares, standing too close, touching, inappropriate comments, stalking, and approaching drunken women are all not cool- because it's hard or impossible for the woman to say 'no,' or it's already too late.

(And it doesn't matter what the guy looks. If someone yells "nice ****" from his car window, I'm not going to giggle and say "thank you," no matter what how good looking he is)


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## lonesomeboy

meesha327 said:


> If you're worried that you're creepy (i'm assuming maybe since you wrote this you think you are? don't know) you are more than likely not. Having SA makes you more aware of social interactions between people so I doubt you have come across that way.


nope I am not worried that girls have perceived me as creepy. Mostly cos I never show them attention cos I am too shy to lol. I just wanted to know what is the boundary between showing that you like a girl and being weird/creepy. From people's responses it seems it matches what I knew already. I agree about having SA and being more socially-aware, I would say I am even hyper-sensitive to it. I am very aware when people are happy, sad, enjoying or not enjoying conversations, when they are interested/disinterested,etc..


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## ardrum

I don't know of anyone who has said I'm creepy. I have a knack for picking up on and meshing with the attitudes/energy/humor of whoever I'm around. I'm like a chameleon in that I am constantly changing my socializing style/approach/behavior/etc with my surroundings in order to appear least creepy.

It's no wonder I have problems identifying what _I_ want to do. :lol

I don't come close to doing any of the above mentioned behaviors though at least.


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## Becky

Creepy would be this old guy I deliver to. He's always invading my personal space. He'll get really really close to me and I'm afraid he's going to try to grab me so I always back up and try to leave there as fast as I can. 

There was on time I was in there and he was standing next to me and he managed to cop a feel on my boob :afr


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## ardrum

Becky said:


> Creepy would be this old guy I deliver to. He's always invading my personal space. He'll get really really close to me and I'm afraid he's going to try to grab me so I always back up and try to leave there as fast as I can.
> 
> There was on time I was in there and he was standing next to me and he managed to cop a feel on my boob :afr


Wow! That's in the stratosphere of The Creepy Scale!


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## shyvr6

This guy, lol


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## ardrum

That was my thought exactly, shyvr6! :lol

"That muscley-armed paper boy coming to bring me some good news?"

"You need to come down to the cellar."


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## ericj

"Girls definition for 'creepy'?"
...
Anyone of the opposite gender they don't specifically like at that particular moment.

My mind is drawn to a sad, but very true, Good Charlotte song...



Good Charlotte - Girls and Boys Lyrics said:


> Educated
> With money
> He's well dressed
> Not funny
> And not much to say in
> Most conversations
> But he'll foot the bill in
> All situations
> Cause he pays for everything
> 
> Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money
> Boys will laugh at girls when they're not funny
> 
> Paper
> Or plastic
> Don't matter
> She'll have it
> Vacations
> And shopping sprees
> These are a few
> Of her favorite things
> She'll get what she wants
> If she's willing to please
> His type of girl
> Always comes with a fee
> Hey, now, there's nothing for free
> 
> Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money
> Boys will laugh at girls when they're not funny
> And these girls like these boys like these boys like these girls
> The girls with the bodies like boys with Ferraris
> Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money
> 
> Let's go!
> Eh, eh!
> 
> Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money
> Boys will laugh at girls when they're not funny
> And these girls like these boys like these boys like these girls
> The girls with the bodies like boys with Ferraris
> Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money
> 
> All of these boys, yeah get all of these girls
> Losing their souls in a material world
> All of these boys, yeah get all of these girls
> Losing their souls in a material world
> All of these boys, yeah get all of these girls
> Losing their souls in a material world
> All of these boys, yeah get all of these girls
> Losing their souls in a material world


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## scairy

For a guy you're pretty much screwed on both ends. If you stare or check out a girl she may find you creepy. Another girl may find you creepy if you don't acknowledge her. Another girl finds it creepy if you are a total stranger and strike up conversation with her. Another girl may find quiet guys creepy. Bottomline you have a good shot of being found creepy multiple times over the course of your life. I think the key is to not care. Just reverse it. Think they're crazy for thinking you're creepy :b

I'd say more girls think I'm creepy but that's because they don't know me. The ones that overtime have gotten to know me think I'm awesome


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## ~AJ~

girls think every guy is creepy! They probably think their own dad is creepy

Its just Automatic Negative Thinking on their part. Its some sort of instinctual defense mechanism. Which is why nice guys come out last, cause they're nice enough to respect the automatic negative thinking

I always feel like they think im a creep, which would be pretty funny, since Im awesome. Calling me a creep is like calling a cute puppy dog a psychotic killer


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## lonesomeboy

can girls be creepy?


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## RubyTuesday

-


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## embers

The one thing that creeps me out is overt staring and then not saying anything, no expression change, and not looking away when I catch them. Thats kinda weird.


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## nothing to fear

i hate to say this, but from what i've noticed women seem to label guys as being creepy pretty easily. when a guy happens to be standing there and looking at a girl, many automatically brand him as being creepy. at work i look at guys i find attractive (though i try not to when other co-workers are around) but others don't seem to consider that creepy because i'm female.
it also seems like if a guy is attractive and charming, he will be much less likely to be considered creepy than a guy who is less attractive or average even if they do the same thing.

in my opinion what i find creepy: when a guy invades your personal space and you've made it clear that you are uncomfortable with it.


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## Drella

nothing to fear said:


> in my opinion what i find creepy: when a guy invades your personal space and you've made it clear that you are uncomfortable with it.


That's mostly what I imagine when I think of creepy. I've been called creepy, and I don't do anything. I keep my distance from people and I don't even look at them, let alone stare. I suppose I'm considered creepy because I never speak to anyone or make eye contact.... maybe that's creepy. Or maybe all ugly people are considered creepy; I don't know.


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## Lisa

I think you can easily get the label 'creepy' for just being different. A lot of people can't tolerate otherness and immediately feel uncomfortable, straight away they call you creepy.


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## nubly

this reminds me of a temp that worked in this office. here in vegas there is a porn convention in feb or so. he worked for us shortly before the convention and would constantly talk about it. to a lot of the people he didnt know :lol


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## LonelyEnigma

Futures said:


> I often times get the impression if you're a guy who the woman is not attracted to and you show interest in her, that alone is enough for some women to label you as creepy.


Yea&#8230; I've actually heard women openly admit this. We use to have a dorky, cubby, kind of goofy looking security guard at the place I work. He would always want to talk to people as they entered. One of the girls I work with said she though he was creepy&#8230;.but then openly admitted she wouldn't be saying that if the guy was hot. If the guy was hot, she said she would want and like the attention.


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## ardrum

LonelyEnigma said:


> Futures said:
> 
> 
> 
> I often times get the impression if you're a guy who the woman is not attracted to and you show interest in her, that alone is enough for some women to label you as creepy.
> 
> 
> 
> Yea&#8230; I've actually heard women openly admit this. We use to have a dorky, cubby, kind of goofy looking security guard at the place I work. He would always want to talk to people as they entered. One of the girls I work with said she though he was creepy&#8230;.but then openly admitted she wouldn't be saying that if the guy was hot. If the guy was hot, she said she would want and like the attention.
Click to expand...

Yeah, that's quite a liberal usage of "creepy" there. I suppose merely existing can be enough to be called "creepy" by at least some people.


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## vicente

lonesomeboy said:


> can girls be creepy?


Nope, unless she openly stalks you.

Finally a woman (nothing to fear) agrees that women call guys "creepy" too easily.


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## nothing to fear

nubly said:


> this reminds me of a temp that worked in this office. here in vegas there is a porn convention in feb or so. he worked for us shortly before the convention and would constantly talk about it. to a lot of the people he didnt know :lol


hey it could be worse.. there is a guy at work who looks at porn while working. two people have told me they've caught him. and it's not like he has a private office where he works alone.. he has one cubicle wall and for his job he always has to talk to other employees and leave his desk often. his clothes are always sweat (and probably semen..) stained.. yuck!
he also does other creepy things like randomly rubs your shoulders.


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## ardrum

nothing to fear said:


> nubly said:
> 
> 
> 
> this reminds me of a temp that worked in this office. here in vegas there is a porn convention in feb or so. he worked for us shortly before the convention and would constantly talk about it. to a lot of the people he didnt know :lol
> 
> 
> 
> hey it could be worse.. there is a guy at work who looks at porn while working. two people have told me they've caught him. and it's not like he has a private office where he works alone.. he has one cubicle wall and for his job he always has to talk to other employees and leave his desk often. his clothes are always sweat (and probably semen..) stained.. yuck!
> he also does other creepy things like randomly rubs your shoulders.
Click to expand...

Uhhhh... yeah, that can qualify as creepy. :lol


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## Zen Mechanics

i think people are more likely to find someone's behaviour creepy if they aren't attracted to them.. ie comparing brad pitt going up to some girl and saying "you have beautiful eyes" to some ugly dude. same goes with guys though..


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## McBeef

I remember in high school I was in this youth group and there was this girl I kinda liked (more importantly I thought she may have liked me.) So I made a few efforts to talk to her just chat and later during some youth group thing one of her friends approached me and said 'hey, you don't like so and so do you?' and she had this look of concern like she was asking me if I had double parked or left a stove on. I tried to make a joke out of it and was like 'oh no, I wouldn't do that to her.' and she started laughing really hard and was like 'okay, just checking.' So brutal. I kind of suspected that everyone there regarded me as the creepyguy but I thought I'd take a chance anyway in case it was just in my head.

I hate this creepy nonsense. For whatever reason I have to make extra effort to make other people feel comfortable but when I do I get no respect. Like today at work someone at my desk row was telling me about how other people in the office think I'm made of stone and really scary. I literally got this badass reputation by sitting in my chair and working.


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## embers

nothing to fear said:


> he also does other creepy things like randomly rubs your shoulders.


The random shoulder rub is never good from anybody, cute or not, guy or girl. It's just embarassing and awkward.


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## Meee

Zen Mechanics said:


> i think people are more likely to find someone's behaviour creepy if they aren't attracted to them.. ie comparing brad pitt going up to some girl and saying "you have beautiful eyes" to some ugly dude. same goes with guys though..


I think it's just that people are asshats, tbh. I had a girl i wasn't attracted to show interest in me, and i didn't think 'ZOMG SHES CREEPY!'. I just thought, you know, there's a a girl who likes me.. and that was about it. I don't know wtf is wrong with people in this regard. Maybe they just don't know how to handle it or something, or maybe they genuinely feel disgusted that someone they don't like is interested in them. I don't know.

I think some people definately do have that 'creepy' vibe, but i'd reserve that term for the scary stalker people or the full on perverts, not the average guy / girl who shows some unreciprocated interest.


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## ~AJ~

its just negativity. just like social anxiety makes us feel negative irrationally, they feel fearful that this guy is a staler/rapist and call him a creep. I say stay positive no matter how negative they be. Ive seen so called "creeps" become "cool guys" just by talking for a few minutes nicely. Lead them into positivity, dont let them lead you into negaivity.


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## vicente

Meee said:


> Zen Mechanics said:
> 
> 
> 
> i think people are more likely to find someone's behaviour creepy if they aren't attracted to them.. ie comparing brad pitt going up to some girl and saying "you have beautiful eyes" to some ugly dude. same goes with guys though..
> 
> 
> 
> I think it's just that people are asshats, tbh. I had a girl i wasn't attracted to show interest in me, and i didn't think 'ZOMG SHES CREEPY!'. I just thought, you know, there's a a girl who likes me.. and that was about it. I don't know wtf is wrong with people in this regard. Maybe they just don't know how to handle it or something, or maybe they genuinely feel disgusted that someone they don't like is interested in them. I don't know.
> 
> I think some people definately do have that 'creepy' vibe, but i'd reserve that term for the scary stalker people or the full on perverts, not the average guy / girl who shows some unreciprocated interest.
Click to expand...

Most of these asshats are women because I guess men aren't that concerned about female perverts and rapists. If you're ugly and/or shy and you like a woman who's too good for you, then prepare to be "the creepy guy who likes Alicia. Ewww. I bet he has a shrine of stalker-pictures of her and strands of her hair."


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## shyvr6

I saw plenty of girls that I thought were creepy in my lifetime.


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## lonesomeboy

vicente said:


> If you're ugly and/or shy and you like a woman who's too good for you, then prepare to be "the creepy guy who likes Alicia. Ewww. I bet he has a shrine of stalker-pictures of her and strands of her hair."


I agree with this. I guess the point is to hit on girls on your 'level' of looks whatever that may be.

Also, I think there is a level of arrogance on the part of the female to openly be so mean to someone who took the courage to show interest and trying to be nice.


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## ardrum

It's a bit presumptuous of the women who would be so quick to label a guy creepy (for non-stalkerish, non-perverted behavior I mean) to assume that guys are out there to specifically impress them in the first place. I think some women, out of a certain degree of insecurity, might delude themselves into thinking they are more appealing/"superior" than they really are in order to "promote" themselves to a place from which they can put down guys who very likely might not even care to impress them. Your poop still stinks, princess. :lol


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## scairy

lonesomeboy said:


> vicente said:
> 
> 
> 
> If you're ugly and/or shy and you like a woman who's too good for you, then prepare to be "the creepy guy who likes Alicia. Ewww. I bet he has a shrine of stalker-pictures of her and strands of her hair."
> 
> 
> 
> I agree with this. I guess the point is to hit on girls on your 'level' of looks whatever that may be.
> 
> Also, I think there is a level of arrogance on the part of the female to openly be so mean to someone who took the courage to show interest and trying to be nice.
Click to expand...

Yeah but you need to know what girls are on your 'level' and some of us have no idea. You can't really get a straight answer from girls that are your friend because they seem to say oh you could do better; they care more about your feelings than helping you out with the truth, lol. I'd say approaching them is the best way and even then you don't know if it's you. To really find out it would require approaching more girls than the typical sa guy does. Now there is some fun. Do some statistical research select a proper sample size and do a completely random sample of women to figure all this out. I might have to do this. I think I've got a new assignment 

As for creepy girls something popped into my head. When a girl that you hardly know or is pretty much a stranger is touching you or trying to sit on your lap. Getting way too touchy feely way too fast=creepy.


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## LonelyEnigma

I think much or women’s paranoia about guys being creepy is due to the media. In the media, nearly all guys are portrayed as perverted, manipulative, and obsessed with sex. Truthfully, there are many guys who are just as disinterested or more disinterested in random fu*king than girls. 

Some of the paranoia ladies have about guys being creepy is legitimate though. There are a lot of dangerous predators in our society……and unlike men, women do not have the physical strength or size to protect themselves from aggressive men. I’m not afraid of most people (male or female) because I know I can defend myself against most people…..But if I was a petite, slender lady I would be much more cautious because I wouldn’t feel near as confident about my capacity to defend myself from dangerous people.


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## ardrum

LonelyEnigma said:


> I think much or women's paranoia about guys being creepy is due to the media. In the media, nearly all guys are portrayed as perverted, manipulative, and obsessed with sex. Truthfully, there are many guys who are just as disinterested or more disinterested in random fu*king than girls.
> 
> Some of the paranoia ladies have about guys being creepy is legitimate though. There are a lot of dangerous predators in our society&#8230;&#8230;and unlike men, women do not have the physical strength or size to protect themselves from aggressive men. I'm not afraid of most people (male or female) because I know I can defend myself against most people&#8230;..But if I was a petite, slender lady I would be much more cautious because I wouldn't feel near as confident about my capacity to defend myself from dangerous people.


Good thoughts there.


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## meesha327

LonelyEnigma said:


> I think much or women's paranoia about guys being creepy is due to the media. In the media, nearly all guys are portrayed as perverted, manipulative, and obsessed with sex. Truthfully, there are many guys who are just as disinterested or more disinterested in random fu*king than girls.
> 
> Some of the paranoia ladies have about guys being creepy is legitimate though. There are a lot of dangerous predators in our society&#8230;&#8230;and unlike men, women do not have the physical strength or size to protect themselves from aggressive men. I'm not afraid of most people (male or female) because I know I can defend myself against most people&#8230;..But if I was a petite, slender lady I would be much more cautious because I wouldn't feel near as confident about my capacity to defend myself from dangerous people.


I agree totally with this. Maybe you're right. Maybe that is where it is coming from. When I was younger I used to think "girls are just as tough as boys" "i don't need a boy to help me open this" etc, but now that I'm older I realize I really am so much tinyer compared to the majority of males. Most males could easily beat the crap out of me and so a lot of times I feel very vulnerable, so if I get a creepy vibe from some dude especially if I'm alone my instincts react.


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## nightmahr

Most guys are like that, lying and disturbingly sex-obsessed while at the same time against women. It scares me to be around them and I'm a guy.


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## scairy

nightmahr said:


> Most guys are like that, lying and disturbingly sex-obsessed while at the same time against women. It scares me to be around them and I'm a guy.


Eh I don't think it's as much as you think. Could be media playing a role but I think some guys feel pressured into talking a big game when in reality unless they got a gf they probably aren't getting much sex. Sure there are some guys that are the exception to this. It's almost been a requirement that in order to be a male you have to be out of control horny and lie about where you've been to your gf if you have one and at least flirt with some girls on the side. But then you look at women and they face media pressures as well; mtv spring break. It's like you aren't a normal girl now and something is wrong with you if you aren't out of control in college.


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## jane

Do you know what I find creepy? 
Being called irrational, easily manipulated, both conceited and insecure, shallow, cruel, and narrow-minded. 
Thanks Y chromosomers, thanks.


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## archaic

Bitterness is creepy. :troll


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## vicente

jane said:


> Do you know what I find creepy?
> Being called irrational, easily manipulated, both conceited and insecure, shallow, cruel, and narrow-minded.
> Thanks Y chromosomers, thanks.


You're only proving the point, that you use the word "creepy" to mean any male who's unattractive to you.

Accusing most women of such things may be unattractive or at most whiney and counterproductive, but creepy like a pervert or stalker it is not.


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## LonelyEnigma

nightmahr said:


> Most guys are like that, lying and disturbingly sex-obsessed while at the same time against women. It scares me to be around them and I'm a guy.


Yea&#8230;. most "normal" guys scare me too. Often, I find myself having to walk away from their conversations because they are so perverted, shallow, and disgusting. For the most part, I get along with "normal" guys&#8230;but the moment they start talking about women I feel sooooooooo different. My entire perception and outlook toward relationship is very different from the masses. I do NOT have an obsession with sex; I have an obsession with LOVE. In fact, I would rather be sterile and married to one lovely lady I'm very in love with&#8230;&#8230; than be bursting with testosterone and be able to have sex with a different playboy model every night.

The "many guys who are just as disinterested or more disinterested in random fu*king than girls" I was referring to in my post are people like you, me, and some of the other SA members. Since I've been a member here, I've noticed that there are far less sex-obsessed guys here than in the real world. I wouldn't be surprised if over 30% of the male SA members here would only be willing to sex with someone they're in love with.


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## ardrum

vicente said:


> jane said:
> 
> 
> 
> Do you know what I find creepy?
> Being called irrational, easily manipulated, both conceited and insecure, shallow, cruel, and narrow-minded.
> Thanks Y chromosomers, thanks.
> 
> 
> 
> You're only proving the point, that you use the word "creepy" to mean any male who's unattractive to you.
> 
> Accusing most women of such things may be unattractive or at most whiney and counterproductive, but creepy like a pervert or stalker it is not.
Click to expand...

Yeah, it's mostly a definitions game, but I also see "creepy" to have far more to do with someone being openly perverted and stalkerish rather than merely someone who has any of the above unattractive traits.

Some people really use the words broadly though. It kind of makes the word lose meaning though if that route is taken.


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## BeNice

LonelyEnigma said:


> nightmahr said:
> 
> 
> 
> Most guys are like that, lying and disturbingly sex-obsessed while at the same time against women. It scares me to be around them and I'm a guy.
> 
> 
> 
> Yea&#8230;. most "normal" guys scare me too. Often, I find myself having to walk away from their conversations because they are so perverted, shallow, and disgusting. For the most part, I get along with "normal" guys&#8230;but the moment they start talking about women I feel sooooooooo different. My entire perception and outlook toward relationship is very different from the masses. I do NOT have an obsession with sex; I have an obsession with LOVE.
Click to expand...

I don't feel comfortable in these conversations, either. Guys talk to each other in a certain way that tends to put emotions aside. They will talk about women in terms of "what a ****",
"she's crazy" and so on. Between each other, guys can go out to bars on the premise of getting laid (they won't, usually, because they are pathetic, but they know inside that that's not all they want), but the girls are still "****s" if the guys know they have done it with more than one guy, or even one guy, in a given time period. The girls get dressed up and go out for each other for the most part. They don't even want to look at most of these guys. It's a clever way to make money off everyday people on a consistent basis. It's a smart business and I wish I had money to start my own bar. I could rip people off so they can show off their designer clothes and exercise their pickup lines, or just plain talk s--t, potentially meet someone in a drunken stupor and/or get laid. I'm not saying people don't meet at bars/clubs, but they surely do in other situations.


----------



## shelovescliche

Well, there's this thirty-something year old guy that's obsessed with my best friend (who's 17); he works at the Dunkin Donuts that she goes to a lot. He hits on her and even followed her to her crew regatta a few times.

And one of my other friends works with a sixty-something year old man who never shuts up about his sex life with teenagers...and he even tried to lure her into his car (after telling her how many women he's slept with in the back seat).

I'd say as long as you don't fit into either of these profiles, you're good to go (to a certain extent, anyway) :b .


----------



## ardrum

shelovescliche said:


> Well, there's this thirty-something year old guy that's obsessed with my best friend (who's 17); he works at the Dunkin Donuts that she goes to a lot. He hits on her and even followed her to her crew regatta a few times.
> 
> And one of my other friends works with a sixty-something year old man who never shuts up about his sex life with teenagers...and he even tried to lure her into his car (after telling her how many women he's slept with in the back seat).
> 
> I'd say as long as you don't fit into either of these profiles, you're good to go (to a certain extent, anyway) :b .


Yikes, those are some genuine creeps. :eek

I don't know how some guys reach such points. At some point, they must say to themselves, "Yeah, I think it's a good idea for me to _follow_ her."

That just baffles me! I think the creepy guys probably have no idea that what they do is considered to be unacceptable behavior.


----------



## Lisa

ardrum said:


> shelovescliche said:
> 
> 
> 
> Well, there's this thirty-something year old guy that's obsessed with my best friend (who's 17); he works at the Dunkin Donuts that she goes to a lot. He hits on her and even followed her to her crew regatta a few times.
> 
> And one of my other friends works with a sixty-something year old man who never shuts up about his sex life with teenagers...and he even tried to lure her into his car (after telling her how many women he's slept with in the back seat).
> 
> I'd say as long as you don't fit into either of these profiles, you're good to go (to a certain extent, anyway) :b .
> 
> 
> 
> Yikes, those are some genuine creeps. :eek
> 
> I don't know how some guys reach such points. At some point, they must say to themselves, "Yeah, I think it's a good idea for me to _follow_ her."
> 
> That just baffles me!* I think the creepy guys probably have no idea that what they do is considered to be unacceptable behavior.*
Click to expand...

They do know. Some men get a kick out of scaring women.


----------



## Vincenzo

vicente said:


> jane said:
> 
> 
> 
> Do you know what I find creepy?
> Being called irrational, easily manipulated, both conceited and insecure, shallow, cruel, and narrow-minded.
> Thanks Y chromosomers, thanks.
> 
> 
> 
> You're only proving the point, that you use the word "creepy" to mean any male who's unattractive to you.
Click to expand...

To some women, that's more than enough. They find the idea that someone they consider unattractive might be attracted to them truly repulsive. Still, those who think this way are basically children and any woman worth knowing will be a lot more cool about it.


----------



## aviator99

I'll never forget these two guys in high school, 10th grade, my math class. HILARIOUS. Some may call it creepy, must creepyness comes off as funny to me. 

Anyhow, there were 5 rows of individual desks, each row having 6 desks (so 30 seats in the room). I would sit in Row 4, seat 6 (against the back wall). One of the guys sat in Row 1, Seat 6, and his friend in front of him (Row 1, Seat 5). The guy who sat against the wall in Row 6 (3 rows to the left of me) always came off as gay but never openly admitted that. This guy, was so hilarious, I was laughing almost every day in that class. Him and his friend were both very outgoing socialites (and preppy). Well, the guy whom I thought as to always have been gay, he would always make these sexual sounds almost every day in class, 50% of the time grabbing his friend in front.

It would be all serious in the room, then say the teacher would step out for a minute or two. You're doing some math problems, the class is semi-quiet, and the next thing you hear is "Ohhhh, Ohhh YES, YES BABY, YESSSS, YESSSSS!, OH YEAH!", and some clinging sounds of desks hitting together, and the guy sitting in Row 1, seat 6 against the wall is doing all these sexual moaning sounds (like an orgasm of some sort), just out of nowhere. Half the time he would grab his friends shoulder and rub them while doing this, or grab his desk chair from behind and push/pull it forward and back (like he was humping it), while making these orgasmic sounds. So all these orgasmic sounds plus the banging of the desk sounds, it was hysterically funny, everyone was laughing including the girls in the class.

Everyone in the class was laughing so hard because it was so loud, too. His friend in front of him would laugh also, but would say (while laughing) "get off of me man! he's raping me, help!" and comments like that, making everyone laugh more. Or sometimes he'd give in and cooperate and make moaning sounds also (I also think his friend may have been gay, but i'm not sure).

He would also fill the back wall with boogars too. Everyday at the start of class he picked his nose and would wipe the concrete wall behind his desk with the boogars while the teacher had her back to the class. I was one of the few people that would see this, because I sat in the last row, so I could easily see it, nobody else really noticed.

He also would make sexual comments toward the teacher while she was talking, but he would whisper them, like "so hot baby, mmm yeah, turn your back to me, yeah thats right, sexy butt, yeah", and stuff like that. It was SO HILARIOUS, and the teacher never had any clue since he was all the way in the back and she had her back facing the class most of the time. She was a young teacher too (like 25), so this went on like daily :lol 

He caught me laughing so hard sometimes and then a couple times as people were walking into class before class started, he would come over to my desk (knowing that I was laughing the day prior) and start humping my desk (with me in it), making moaning sounds and saying things like "yeah you like that baby ahhhh yeah". Everyone was laughing.

This was before I had SA, by the way. I was somewhat shy, but didnt have SA, so everyone laughing at this guy humping my desk (he did it to others too) didnt really bother me, aside the fact that I had to make clear many times that I am not gay :lol 

He also kept his hands down his pants the entire class period (rarely did any work). He would put his hands down his pants, and pull them out 10 secs later and smell them, then wipe his hands on the desk :lol He sometimes did that (put his hands down his pants), wipe his hands all over the textbook and pages, then go to the teacher and hand the handbook to her and say he needs help with these problems, so she grabbed the book and would flip the pages, not knowing he has all his...sweat...all over them, ROFL.

I swear, this guy did some of the most craziest things i've ever seen, and the most hilarious. Since he sat all the way in the back, the teacher NEVER caught him doing any of those things. Only us people in the back did and found all of it to be hilarious.

Oh, he also did go up to some outgoing-popular girls in the class and would hump their desk also with his moaning sounds. The girls would laugh though (they were friends with him also), and basically shove him off the desk or hit him on the arm to get away, lol.

10th grade Algebra was one of the classes I always looked forward to going to. Every day was a new form of entertainment from this guy, you didnt know of the day would be the "hands down the pants for 60mins, smelling and rubbing", or, "boogars all period on the wall", or when he would breakout in some orgasmic sounds humping his friends desk or rubbing his shoulders, or what else he would do. Just hysterically funny. 

One thing that was reallllllly gross for me, though, was one day he came into class with sandals and his feet stunk horrendously. You could smell them in the entire room (he probably intentionally didnt wash them for like a week, haha). He took his sandals off and intentionally rubbed his feet on the carpet, barefoot, in the middle of the room before class started, and poured some of his water from his water bottle on it. The stench was fuming for a week, it smelled horrible.

That guy was great, some people in the class found him as a "weirdo", some found him hysterically hilarious. I found him to be hilarious.


----------



## scairy

BeNice said:


> LonelyEnigma said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> nightmahr said:
> 
> 
> 
> Most guys are like that, lying and disturbingly sex-obsessed while at the same time against women. It scares me to be around them and I'm a guy.
> 
> 
> 
> Yea&#8230;. most "normal" guys scare me too. Often, I find myself having to walk away from their conversations because they are so perverted, shallow, and disgusting. For the most part, I get along with "normal" guys&#8230;but the moment they start talking about women I feel sooooooooo different. My entire perception and outlook toward relationship is very different from the masses. I do NOT have an obsession with sex; I have an obsession with LOVE.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> I don't feel comfortable in these conversations, either. Guys talk to each other in a certain way that tends to put emotions aside. They will talk about women in terms of "what a @#%$",
> "she's crazy" and so on. Between each other, guys can go out to bars on the premise of getting laid (they won't, usually, because they are pathetic, but they know inside that that's not all they want), but the girls are still "****s" if the guys know they have done it with more than one guy, or even one guy, in a given time period. The girls get dressed up and go out for each other for the most part. They don't even want to look at most of these guys. It's a clever way to make money off everyday people on a consistent basis. It's a smart business and I wish I had money to start my own bar. I could rip people off so they can show off their designer clothes and exercise their pickup lines, or just plain talk s--t, potentially meet someone in a drunken stupor and/or get laid. I'm not saying people don't meet at bars/clubs, but they surely do in other situations.
Click to expand...

I don't know if you'd want to open a bar/club in my area as it's very competitive. There is significant risk of failing in it. As for women looking to be among friends and nothing more, I'd say it depends on the particular bar/club scene.

In general I don't think women really want to be hit on because they don't want to be bothered. If they're on a park bench reading they are there to read not to have some loser try to talk to her. If she is at the grocery store she is there to buy food not pick up guys... In my opinion the only time you have a shot is if she gives you the all clear signal and flirts with you first. Then again if you are extremely smooth all this goes out the window.

On a side note I once saw a show talking about psychopaths (serial killers in particular) and it said that they are masters at socializing getting people to like them; essentially they don't come off as creepy.

But guys like us in reality should be creepy or cause a girl to be defensive because I'd say most sa guys aren't the best socializers and this characteristic is found in other anti-societal behaviors that I'd rather not mention.


----------



## shelovescliche

ardrum said:


> shelovescliche said:
> 
> 
> 
> Well, there's this thirty-something year old guy that's obsessed with my best friend (who's 17); he works at the Dunkin Donuts that she goes to a lot. He hits on her and even followed her to her crew regatta a few times.
> 
> And one of my other friends works with a sixty-something year old man who never shuts up about his sex life with teenagers...and he even tried to lure her into his car (after telling her how many women he's slept with in the back seat).
> 
> I'd say as long as you don't fit into either of these profiles, you're good to go (to a certain extent, anyway) :b .
> 
> 
> 
> Yikes, those are some genuine creeps. :eek
> 
> I don't know how some guys reach such points. At some point, they must say to themselves, "Yeah, I think it's a good idea for me to _follow_ her."
> 
> That just baffles me! I think the creepy guys probably have no idea that what they do is considered to be unacceptable behavior.
Click to expand...

Haha, well I'm pretty sure the guy from Dunkin Donuts has absolutely no idea why stalking is a problem, but I think the old man just gets a kick out of making girls squirm. And it's even more perverse considering his wife works the same shifts as him.

Apparently some of us never fully evolved :roll .


----------



## ardrum

I just don't like that these creeps end up making some girls hypersensitive toward the idea of many more guys being like that.


----------



## 4v0id4n7

i'm probably quite creepy... when people talk to me, like making some small talk or joking, i usually need some time to figure out what to say and then i start wondering is it too late to answer already because i was thinking for like almost a minute... usually if someone else is present they end up answering instead of me even if the question or remark was directed to me... talking mostly about coworkers here (and i don't really talk to other people except for a few of my friends), so i even thought of changing my messenger (which i also use to communicate at work) name to 'just some creepy guy at work'..
speaking of girls etc, i feel like i'm being creepy too, but not because i stare that much or follow them but more because i try not to look at all at the girls that i like (or being attracted to), and if by chance i do glance at them then i probably have a wierd look, at least that's how it feels because i'm all out confused in my mind and also reaching highest level possible of frustration.. so i guess when trying to be anti-creepy you're still being creepy in the end..
it's a good thing that most of the time i don't really care anymore how they percieve me.. or maybe it's a lie and i do care?.. it's hard to figure out what is real anymore after all this..


----------



## theman

Men radiate creepiness when they are interested in a woman and DON'T let her know.

They do everything to avoid showing it, and that 'hiding' behavior is CREEPY.


----------



## AdamCanada

theman said:


> Men radiate creepiness when they are interested in a woman and DON'T let her know.
> 
> They do everything to avoid showing it, and that 'hiding' behavior is CREEPY.


yea i agree with that, its either 'creepy' status or 'freind' status with that kind of behaviour.


----------



## vicente

theman said:


> Men radiate creepiness when they are interested in a woman and DON'T let her know.
> 
> They do everything to avoid showing it, and that 'hiding' behavior is CREEPY.


What happens if you're a desperate guy and would be willing to date almost any woman? Do you go around telling everyone that you like them, and therefore scaring them away because they don't want you pursuing them?

It's a lose-lose situation: if you look interested but don't do anything, you're creepy and girls stay away. if you look interested and tell them, then you're stillk creepy and girls stay away.


----------



## nothing to fear

i think it's unfortunate that guys are labeled as "creepy" so easily. i don't know many guys that i would consider "creepy", and sometimes even if i get that immediate thought i tried to analyze the situation and i might realize how he is acting is not that creepy.

i've noticed that some women brand a guy as creepy if they are around them but don't talk, or when they do they aren't "charming", i.e. they might not smile or flirt, usually if that guy is less than average in looks. this can easily be a guy with social anxiety when i think about it. a lot of women don't really think in terms of what they are actually doing and just label them as creepy for no real reason. (i hope this doesn't bring any of you guys now.. just thought i'd write about my experiences and what i've observed).

i guess an example is this guy in my high school who a friend always thought was very creepy. thinking back there wasn't really anything creepy about him. he would just approach her and try to make conversation but he wouldn't smile or flirt and he'd talk kind of in a monotonous voice (maybe out of nervousness)? he wasn't terribly unattractive but he did have a lot of acne. it's kind of interesting she would see him as being creepy, but another guy who actually i think is kind of creepy she really liked, and this guy would always be really touchy and get physically close with girls without their consent but she (and others maybe) would see him as being "charming" because he might smile and flirt a bit. :stu


----------



## ardrum

Perhaps we should come up with a negative word for women who hastily label guys as "creepy" .... Hmm, then if it catches on, they will feel bad for automatically assuming 50%+ of guys are creepy. Sweet, sweet revenge! :lol


----------



## ardrum

vicente said:


> theman said:
> 
> 
> 
> Men radiate creepiness when they are interested in a woman and DON'T let her know.
> 
> They do everything to avoid showing it, and that 'hiding' behavior is CREEPY.
> 
> 
> 
> What happens if you're a desperate guy and would be willing to date almost any woman? Do you go around telling everyone that you like them, and therefore scaring them away because they don't want you pursuing them?
> 
> It's a lose-lose situation: if you look interested but don't do anything, you're creepy and girls stay away. if you look interested and tell them, then you're stillk creepy and girls stay away.
Click to expand...

I agree. You're screwed either way. I think it has more to do with how you look than what you do too. I mean, the obvious stalking/sexually perverted behavior will be creepy for most guys, but the less severe stuff isn't nearly as likely to be creepy if it's performed by a male model vs. the average joe or unattractive guy.

I think "creepy" should be associated with behavior rather than looks, but I think looks is a big factor in the equation nevertheless.


----------



## theman

Vincente, Ardrum

- I don't think a guy is ever labeled creepy for being interested in a woman and showing it.

The only time overt interest in a woman would be CREEPY is if the interest shown were way out of proportion, like if he had been thinking about a woman for weeks and finally approached her and asked her to go away with him on a day trip. It comes off as TOO MUCH interest at once.


----------



## nothing to fear

ardrum said:


> I agree. You're screwed either way. I think it has more to do with how you look than what you do too. I mean, the obvious stalking/sexually perverted behavior will be creepy for most guys, but the less severe stuff isn't nearly as likely to be creepy if it's performed by a male model vs. the average joe or unattractive guy.
> 
> I think "creepy" should be associated with behavior rather than looks, but I think looks is a big factor in the equation nevertheless.


yeah i agree with this. did anyone else see that episode of, uh... dr. phil where they had his son dress up as a completely different guy (very overweight, completely different face) and had him approach women in different situations, and then they had him do it again without the costume? he would do the same thing, say the same things but would have completely different results. with the unattractive/overweight guy women would be really weirded out but as his normal self they would be really friendly. all of the audience seemed shocked at the results but i wasn't surprised one bit since i've always observed that kind of behaviour.


----------



## ardrum

theman said:


> Vincente, Ardrum
> 
> - I don't think a guy is ever labeled creepy for being interested in a woman and showing it.
> 
> The only time overt interest in a woman would be CREEPY is if the interest shown were way out of proportion, like if he had been thinking about a woman for weeks and finally approached her and asked her to go away with him on a day trip. It comes off as TOO MUCH interest at once.


Careful with absolutes. I've directly seen what you say never happens. 

I think I would probably be in similar agreement with you in regards to what you see as creepy, but the standard varies by the person. For some, merely one look communicates "He's creepy" regardless of everything else.


----------



## ardrum

nothing to fear said:


> ardrum said:
> 
> 
> 
> I agree. You're screwed either way. I think it has more to do with how you look than what you do too. I mean, the obvious stalking/sexually perverted behavior will be creepy for most guys, but the less severe stuff isn't nearly as likely to be creepy if it's performed by a male model vs. the average joe or unattractive guy.
> 
> I think "creepy" should be associated with behavior rather than looks, but I think looks is a big factor in the equation nevertheless.
> 
> 
> 
> yeah i agree with this. did anyone else see that episode of, uh... dr. phil where they had his son dress up as a completely different guy (very overweight, completely different face) and had him approach women in different situations, and then they had him do it again without the costume? he would do the same thing, say the same things but would have completely different results. with the unattractive/overweight guy women would be really weirded out but as his normal self they would be really friendly. all of the audience seemed shocked at the results but i wasn't surprised one bit since i've always observed that kind of behaviour.
Click to expand...

I didn't see the Dr. Phil show, but I've seen similar experiments carried out over and over with similar results. Especially when someone is made to look overweight. It's true for both guys and girls too (so I'm not picking on ladies here). The attractive are treated a lot better on average.


----------



## theman

ard - I think any woman who would judge a man as creepy for showing honest interest is creepy herself. I'd say that does not reflect on the guy, it reflects on the woman.


----------



## ardrum

theman said:


> ard - I think any woman who would judge a man as creepy for showing honest interest is creepy herself. I'd say that does not reflect on the guy, it reflects on the woman.


Yeah, anyone who is that quick to judge is not likely to be attractive in my eyes...it would be a mutual thing.


----------



## tainted_

The only things that creep me out are when a guy is overly flirty... I'm talking extreme, like someone who throws a pick up line or something into every sentence and keeps trying to touch you in some way. That makes me really uncomfortable. 
Also if someone was to turn up at my house when I wasn't expecting them or I didn't ask them then that REALLY bothers me and I feel really violated ( I have ended relationships because of this) and also if someone assumes they can call me at home when I haven't said they could - like once this guy looked up my number in the directory and called my house... that made me feel really uncomfortable. 

Basically if you respect someones personal space and don't harass them then you wont be thought of as creepy (in my opinion anyway)


----------



## Eraserhead

ardrum said:


> nothing to fear said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ardrum said:
> 
> 
> 
> I agree. You're screwed either way. I think it has more to do with how you look than what you do too. I mean, the obvious stalking/sexually perverted behavior will be creepy for most guys, but the less severe stuff isn't nearly as likely to be creepy if it's performed by a male model vs. the average joe or unattractive guy.
> 
> I think "creepy" should be associated with behavior rather than looks, but I think looks is a big factor in the equation nevertheless.
> 
> 
> 
> yeah i agree with this. did anyone else see that episode of, uh... dr. phil where they had his son dress up as a completely different guy (very overweight, completely different face) and had him approach women in different situations, and then they had him do it again without the costume? he would do the same thing, say the same things but would have completely different results. with the unattractive/overweight guy women would be really weirded out but as his normal self they would be really friendly. all of the audience seemed shocked at the results but i wasn't surprised one bit since i've always observed that kind of behaviour.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> I didn't see the Dr. Phil show, but I've seen similar experiments carried out over and over with similar results. Especially when someone is made to look overweight. It's true for both guys and girls too (so I'm not picking on ladies here). The attractive are treated a lot better on average.
Click to expand...

 :afr ops :cry


----------



## nothing to fear

Nicolay said:


> ardrum said:
> 
> 
> 
> I didn't see the Dr. Phil show, but I've seen similar experiments carried out over and over with similar results. Especially when someone is made to look overweight. It's true for both guys and girls too (so I'm not picking on ladies here). The attractive are treated a lot better on average.
> 
> 
> 
> :afr ops :cry
Click to expand...

i feel the same :hug


----------



## Meee

Yeah, i've seen a few similar experiments. It's hardly shocking news, i thought it'd be obvious. They always seem to use fat suits though... is being overweight the main factor for the different reactions or is it the other stuff (hair, face, etc)? At least people can fix being overweight if they really, truly want to. You can't fix ugly (aka me). At least not without obscene amounts of money, and then you might just end up like Michael Jackson, so yeah... maybe not the best idea.


----------



## korendir

Most girls say they want a "nice" guy but end up dating jerks, in my experience, the tough thing for descent guys is getting in touch with themselves without becoming an abusive jerk or letting rejection get to them. Women tend to react to attraction as an emotion while men sometimes think they have to DO logical things to get a woman to like them, such as buying her drinks or agreeing with whatever she says, which I think comes off as creepy to most girls. A guy who "hangs around" a girl isn't usually "stalking" her he's just unsure of how to start a conversation and doesn't want to offend her, whereas a guy who "knows what he wants" usually isn't bothered what some random stranger thinks of him, no matter how hot she might be.

IMO women in bars and clubs tend not to be the kind of woman I imagine having a steady relationship with anyway, but I guess u never know. Btw IMHO as harsh as this might sound nice guys are the equivalent of Fat chicks when it comes to sexual attraction and in that respect women can be just as blind as men.


----------



## nubly

is the male definition for 'creepy' psycho-*****?


----------



## Just Lurking

nubly said:


> is the male definition for 'creepy' psycho-*****?


Do you mean guys finding girls creepy? Now that I think about it, I can't recall ever being "creeped out" by a girl. Many different sorts of reactions, but not that.


----------



## nubly

Just Lurking said:


> nubly said:
> 
> 
> 
> is the male definition for 'creepy' psycho-*****?
> 
> 
> 
> Do you mean guys finding girls creepy? Now that I think about it, I can't recall ever being "creeped out" by a girl. Many different sorts of reactions, but not that.
Click to expand...

yea ive never heard about it either. but guys throw around 'psycho-*****' so much that thats probably the equivalent to creepy


----------



## ardrum

Yeah, I'd agree that women seem to get the "psycho/crazy" label more often than guys. Although guys do get that a fair amount of the time. I guess the proper response to being called creepy is to call them a psycho.


----------



## ~AJ~

ok, how bout this, I am a creep!! I am a creep!! I want every woman on earth to know Im a creep! I will go up to women and introduce myself as follows "Hello, i am a creep, nice to meet you  " 

there, now that thats settled, Im pretty much free to do whatever I want. freedom = fun. being a creep is good, not being a creep is bad.


----------



## ~AJ~

ok, so i went on two forums and sent message to random girls that read "Hi there, Im a creep, nice to meet you"


the responses were all positive. some said "well hello Mr creep, how do you do" and others just went "hahaha"

not a single negative response, interesting


----------



## hello it's me

Okay there are some genuinely creepy guys out there, no doubt. But most of the time it's just someone try'na get by the best he knows how.

Especially for some of the girls HERE of all places to be calling guys creepy is kinda wrong somehow. I mean how many times have some of you ladies been considered weird because you might be a little socially awkward. You just have the luxury of not being a guy (in this instance).


----------



## ardrum

Yeah, there's a big difference between a guy minding his own business (or maybe says "hi"), just existing in the same room as a woman, who does not sexually excite the woman... 

...and a guy who goes up to women telling them to cuddle with him on a subway, asking for her address, licking his lips and making sexual sounds while touching himself.

Calling both of these people "creepy" makes the words itself rather meaningless due to it not distinguishing between the behavior of these guys. :lol


----------



## lonesomeboy

~AJ~ said:


> not a single negative response, interesting


the internet does not equal real life


----------



## Pinzelhead

Some girls take delight in the sexual overtures made by men. Most men would enjoy it when women do that to them. I don't see it as creepy, more of an ego-inflator for some.


----------



## vicente

Where are these "psycho-*****es" and how can I meet them?


----------



## ardrum

I wonder if Mike Tyson is considered to be creepy by most women.

"I normally don't do interview wit women unless I fornicate wit them. (long silence) So you shouldn't talk anymore...unless you wanna, you know."


----------



## sleeknchic89

Pinzelhead said:


> Some girls take delight in the sexual overtures made by men. Most men would enjoy it when women do that to them. I don't see it as creepy, more of an ego-inflator for some.


I like it when guys are a little overbearing. It turns me on. Call me crazy. :eyes


----------



## ultraphobe

lonesomeboy said:


> Also, I think there is a level of arrogance on the part of the female to openly be so mean to someone who took the courage to show interest and trying to be nice.


THAT IS SPOT ON!!!!


----------



## ardrum

I've thought it's strange when people make it known that they are not pleased with someone who is just minding their own business and looks unattractive to them. Who are they to put that person on trial? I think such people (frequently called "arrogant") need to be reminded that not everyone is trying to impress them in the first place.


----------



## JR87

definition for creepy... a guy who expresses that he would literally eat one of my toes. lop it off and snack on it. then again i initiated this kind of cannibalistic talk with this particular guy. :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol 


:um 

yes i'm pretty creepy myself.
:lol :b

*goes to hide*


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## shyvr6

I sent this one girl on another forum a pic of me awhile ago, and she said it got deleted recently, and now she can't see me anymore. 

I don't know, I'm sure it's nothing, but it just sounded creepy since we hardly talk, lol. Like she stares at it or something.


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

Believe me this kind of worry is not unique to SA sufferers. I have had many conversations with 'healthy' guys who feel the same way. I have also had many conversations with guys whose own connection to their masculinity has been torn out by conditioning in school, pornography, the media and poor education in their formative years about the rightful place of sex and how to be comfortable in, and relate confidently from, their own sense of sexuality.

It is not the fault of women - it is the fault of a society that has commericialised and commoditised sex, caused men to believe that they THEMSELVES "want only one thing", that power and money are a substitute for REAL sexual connection with a REAL woman, and the subsequent feeling that either women must be manipulated, controlled or coerced into sex, or that the mans own NATURAL desires as a man are in themselves disgusting, shameful and wrong.

The easy availability of pornography teaches men two things - one, that 'meaningless sex' is all they want - devoid of warmth, connection or personal understanding - and two, that sex should be easily avaialble. Buy a magazine. Click a link - there she is, ready and willing. The idea that a sexual relationship is something to do with understanding, meaning and connection is lost in the quick pursuit of orgasm. Yet men are victims of this. A global pornography industry thrives on this sense of loss and confusion that so many men experience nowadays in regard to their sexuality and masculinity. Fed the twin messages that having sex is 'won' by being powerful, handsome, or wealthy, and that they must therefore BE all those things, the pursuit of ejaculation becomes somehow 'normal' - and in the place of connection, love and the desire to find that truly special meaning, in its place instead is the feeling that the next orgasm, the next model beauty, the next sportscar - will somehow heal the void they are experiencing. A void that seems to have no definition or edge. Through further immersion in fantasy as an escape for this sense of alienation, men continue to be locked away from the thing that would help them begin to heal - making (the admittedly difficult and often naturally painful) real efforts to communiacte and know women. This is a an extra layer that eats ever more into the mind of someone already suffering with deeper emotional problems.

Sold these messages, men see themsleves as inferior, and unable to get that one thing that would confirm their acceptance - sex. So their focus becomes power, looks, wealth and their use in 'winning' a woman - using the trappings of success to earn their right to a cheap thrill. Many men do get these thrills - and yet still the complaints of distant, unconnected and non commited men abound. Are all me b*stards? Or is it because they have been sold a complete bunch of rubbish about their own sexuality for the last god knows how long?

Men have been taught for centuries that to show emotion is wrong. Men are strong. Powerful. They do not cry - they do not show weakness. The maxim is "everything is fine". Devoid of appropriate male figures to relate to, to learn from and to be nurtured by, and with people such as politicians, rock stars or movie actors as surrogates, men internalise the pursuit of power and status over love and connection. They almost view the latter as despicable. Seeking power, they sometimes get it. Yet still feel unfulfilled - as evidenced by the higher than average divorce rate among the highest earning members of society. Those who do not get power become resentful and bitter. They see women as judges, as rejectors of their worth and masculinity. They come to resent them, and then to seek to control them. They may seek cheap and easy sex with a woman they feel superior to, in order that she might momentarily elevate them.

When a man reaches this stage - when he sees sex and women as icons of power and things to be manipulated for the healing of an empty, un-nurtured masculine soul, THAT is the point when he becomes creepy. Projecting clearly the idea that he is so divorced from his own appropriate sense of natural male desire that he must use manipulation and 'techniques' to virtually bludgeon a woman into having sex with him, it becomes clear to women who speak with him that in order to value this man would be to give up some semblance of choice, an element of their humanity.

A genuine man is aware of both weakness and strength. He is not just the jock, the busnessman, the super-charismatic guy. These are STEREOTYPES which men have tried for too long to wear in place of genuine self-awareness. A genuine man sees that as a human , he has sexual desire and that when expressed in the context of true understanding and meaning, sex is more than mere ejaculation. Perhaps for the first time in his life, he will experience a true ORGASM - the blending of deep acceptance, emotion, heart and understanding.

Its not just SA sufferers that have issues with this. There is currently a world-wide mens movement which has finally woken up to the fact that men have been divorced from their sense of humanity, and in so doing subjugated themselves and alienated and resented women, for far too long. Therapy has been the start of this realisation for me. Many other men have come to see it through the work of the modern mens movement - a 'quiet revolution' in the way men see themselves and women - a positive view of women as equal but uniquely differently gifted creatures, a bonding with the masculine spirit instead of an add-on, or a trophy, a merit award or as a source of resentment. This movement is not anti-feminist - it is pro-humanity via the nurturing of genuine acceptance of innate, positive and accepting masculinity and its equal balance with femininity. 

If you are interested in learning more, check out the book 'manhood' by Steve Biddulph or check out his website online. Waking up to these new realisations, as a man, will benefit men, women, children - everyone, as men begin to see that domination, power and competitiveness are in fact NOT the sole things that our hearts were designed to experience.


----------



## nubly

vicente said:


> Where are these "psycho-*****es" and how can I meet them?


vegas


----------



## meesha327

While I agree with alot of what you have said, i am assuming you're a dude because only a dude would ignore the fact that women are the ones that are the REAL victims here. How many male role models are there versus women? Who gets raped more? Who is sexually assaulted more? Who do you see objectified in sexual images? WOMEN! I think women have been divorced of their humanity more than men. I'm not trying to make this into a battle of the sexes at all or berate you because I think you were spot on with most of what you said and it was intelligently and eloquintly written so please don't take offense, but it's just my opinion!


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

Agreed - women are treated badly, and IMO it is because of all the stuff I wrote above. As men come to see sex as apower struggle, why wouldnt _some _men naturally take that as far as rape, abuse and so on? This is utterly sickening - but it is increased and stirred by the sexual backgorund that men, and our society, has been in for a very long time. If men were able to express themselves, both to each other and to women, were less ashamed of sexual desire and saw women as 'equal but different' - then there would be greater closeness and understanding and less anger and alienation. For most 'healthy' men even, the nearest they get to genuine male closeness is getting drunk and shouting a bit as a group on a Friday night. Alienation is not only restricted to the SA populace. I am advocating that ALL men face up to their responsibility in the world but at the same time make contact with the lost side of themsleves - closeness to other men, adoption of positive male role models, that symbolise care, protection and nurturance instead of power and virility. Through nurturance other men would know closeness, they would recieve counselling and support. They would feel less ashamed of their weakness and less inclined to compensate for them via drinkenness, sexual exploits and rage.

On role models, I think there are lots for men, but they are the wrong ones, so in fact I agree totally with your post.

Whats wrong with sexual dynamics in the world today isnt restricted to 'either or' - we're both in this together  And also thank you for being so honest - I can see that your words meant a lot so I appreciate you being forthright 

:hug

Ross


----------



## meesha327

So true, so true. I wish other men adopted your thinking. I really do hope that it becomes more acceptable for men to show their feelings. I think it is very admirable because most don't and I hope this hypersexualized culture dies down soon so we can make some real change together.


----------



## meesha327

In fact, it secretly makes me really happy when I see one cry. Not cuz they're sad but because they have feelings!


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

Whee :banana and :cry

:lol

Hopefully the development of a heatlhy mens movement will finally reconcile the two genders together - to see that there does not need to be a "battle of the sexes" at all. Once acceptance and understabding is present, so too is nurturance and forgiveness. I don't think buddhists are the only ones that regard these priciples as the core of harmony 

There are also those who belive that Womens Liberation only went half way - that it was in fact hijacked half way through by commercialism. There's a book you may like meesha, called "Female Chavinist Pigs - The rise of Raunch Culture", which, despite its controversial and rather attacking sounding title, is actually pro-feminist and discusses exactly this - the hijack and commoditisation of female sexual liberation, and its negative effects on both women and men. It argues for genuine embrace of true femininity, and again - its appropriate and equal harmonious melding with masculinity. They could have titled it less provocatively but then it wouldnt have sold so well ....

People still have a ways to go ...

Actually I am going to go and buy it today and have a read. Will let you know what I find if you like 



Ross


----------



## meesha327

Yes I have heard of that book before and was interested in reading it. I will have to check it out!


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

Woah careful - I just got it and its like having a box of fireworks go off in your face .. :afr


----------



## sleeknchic89

I think women are the ones more likely to complain about being treated unfairly in today's society, as being seen as "pieces of meat" to be had and used and then discarded, but not as living creatures with emotions and goals. Then again, we're the ones who put our boobs on display and then complain when guys look at them. It's like dangling a treat in front of a dog's face and then smacking him upside the head when he bites at it, lol.

On the other hand, I agree with Ross . . . men are the ones here who have been shaped deliberately into these sex-grubbing swinging d*cks who have indeed got one thing only on their minds. And it's mostly due to the Hollywood depictions of what a true "man" should be (tall, handsome, and full of piss and vinegar, ready to beat the living **** out of anyone who gets in his way, fully capable of compelling any woman to go to bed with him). This goes for women, too.

Sometimes . . . and I mean this quite literally . . . I really do with I could just walk up to some of these ****head actresses, actors, and directors, and kick them in the damn face for being so utterly stupid and light-handed with their power. :mum


----------



## nubly

i wonder how other cultures view the sexes


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

sleeknchic89 said:


> I think women are the ones more likely to complain about being treated unfairly in today's society, as being seen as "pieces of meat" to be had and used and then discarded, but not as living creatures with emotions and goals. Then again, we're the ones who put our boobs on display and then complain when guys look at them. It's like dangling a treat in front of a dog's face and then smacking him upside the head when he bites at it, lol.
> 
> On the other hand, I agree with Ross . . . men are the ones here who have been shaped deliberately into these sex-grubbing swinging d*cks who have indeed got one thing only on their minds. And it's mostly due to the Hollywood depictions of what a true "man" should be (tall, handsome, and full of @#%$ and vinegar, ready to beat the living @#%$ out of anyone who gets in his way, fully capable of compelling any woman to go to bed with him). This goes for women, too.
> 
> Sometimes . . . and I mean this quite literally . . . I really do with I could just walk up to some of these @#%$ actresses, actors, and directors, and kick them in the damn face for being so utterly stupid and light-handed with their power. :mum


Erm I think you kinda paraphrased me a little .. but the broad themes are .. um ... there


----------



## sleeknchic89

yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> sleeknchic89 said:
> 
> 
> 
> I think women are the ones more likely to complain about being treated unfairly in today's society, as being seen as "pieces of meat" to be had and used and then discarded, but not as living creatures with emotions and goals. Then again, we're the ones who put our boobs on display and then complain when guys look at them. It's like dangling a treat in front of a dog's face and then smacking him upside the head when he bites at it, lol.
> 
> On the other hand, I agree with Ross . . . men are the ones here who have been shaped deliberately into these sex-grubbing swinging d*cks who have indeed got one thing only on their minds. And it's mostly due to the Hollywood depictions of what a true "man" should be (tall, handsome, and full of @#%$ and vinegar, ready to beat the living @#%$ out of anyone who gets in his way, fully capable of compelling any woman to go to bed with him). This goes for women, too.
> 
> Sometimes . . . and I mean this quite literally . . . I really do with I could just walk up to some of these @#%$ actresses, actors, and directors, and kick them in the damn face for being so utterly stupid and light-handed with their power. :mum
> 
> 
> 
> Erm I think you kinda paraphrased me a little .. but the broad themes are .. um ... there
Click to expand...

Lol . . . I did paraphrase, my apologies. I tried to generalize so I could be brief, I was on my way to work. opcorn


----------



## vicente

sleeknchic89 said:


> I think women are the ones more likely to complain about being treated unfairly in today's society, as being seen as "pieces of meat" to be had and used and then discarded, but not as living creatures with emotions and goals. Then again, we're the ones who put our boobs on display and then complain when guys look at them. It's like dangling a treat in front of a dog's face and then smacking him upside the head when he bites at it, lol.


That's exactly what that book ("Female Chauvinist Pigs") is talking about.

Women today confuse sexual power (freedom to use their bodies to "feel sexy") with real power. They are still being slaves to men's sexual desires.


----------



## nightmahr

nubly said:


> i wonder how other cultures view the sexes


It's not very different in most.


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

vicente said:


> sleeknchic89 said:
> 
> 
> 
> I think women are the ones more likely to complain about being treated unfairly in today's society, as being seen as "pieces of meat" to be had and used and then discarded, but not as living creatures with emotions and goals. Then again, we're the ones who put our boobs on display and then complain when guys look at them. It's like dangling a treat in front of a dog's face and then smacking him upside the head when he bites at it, lol.
> 
> 
> 
> That's exactly what that book ("Female Chauvinist Pigs") is talking about.
> 
> Women today confuse sexual power (freedom to use their bodies to "feel sexy") with real power. They are still being slaves to men's sexual desires.
Click to expand...

I could only read the first 10 pages of that book. It stirred up just about every negative emotion I possess, it was really quite horrible. The language used was erotic so I felt aroused, but at the same time it was all about manipulation, subjugation, sadness, hollowness ... it made me feel EXACTLY as my post above said - 'made to feel shamed and controlled by my natural desires, but they had been twisted and embittered by something outside of myself".

It made me feel angry and resentful at a wide range of people including myself. It truly was dynamite for me. I cant read the rest as I value my sanity.


----------



## ardrum

I usually don't like books that try to categorize women and men into sweepingly conclusive categories regarding power relations between the sexes (who is in charge, in what sort of convoluted ways, etc.). It always just seems so naively simplistic and breaks down totally when you look at the stark differences among individuals _within_ the same sex (not simply between the sexes).

I also don't like all the "should" statements about men and women in such literature. Women "must" do this or that to be liberated, men "must" do this or that to be a man, etc. I'd rather not see the world like that.


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

You'd love the overgeneralisation in one of the other books I have then:

"All men are _terrified_ of female sensuality". Emphasis theirs. And this woman is a popular writer too.

My perception was that the author had taken one very small cross section of men - that is, those who actually have corporate or political power and who subjugate women, as opposed to the average 9-5 guy who happily goes home to his wife or girlfriend and moans about his boss - and then generalised that rule to EVERY MAN on earth. The book was mainly talking about how to take the power from those she saw who had it - that small cross section of men. The vibe was very much 'zero/sum' - either you lose, or they do. It read less like 'equality' and more like 'revenge' - which personally I can never see adding up to equality, reconciliation or anything. She just sounded like she wanted power and money and was trying to clear anyone in her way - male or female - out of her path.

So the female literature I bought came across very negatively (almost painfully so in the case of "female chauvinists') and seemingly full of spite for BOTH SEXES, (yep women too), and then you read the male literature - and its about guys getting in touch with feelings, being vulnerable and connecting and bonding with both sexes and crying. So, one towards 'typically male' traits (aggression and own gender competition) the other towards 'typically female' traits (nurture and affiliation). Perhaps we are all headed for a melding in the middle or something. So we all end up as a neat androgynous blob?

Cool. Do we all get a pinkie AND a schmirtle in the future?


----------



## meesha327

Androgynous blob? I could go for that!


----------



## ardrum

Let's all just be biologically asexual and bud off new humans. I can imagine all sorts of fun new clothing styles that would result... shirts with holes in the back to allow the head of the new "you" to grow out of it like a house plant. Yay!


----------



## ultraphobe

all the arrogance I've seen from the females is slowly but surely turning me into a misogynist.


----------



## ardrum

I don't think that's a female-exclusive trait by _any_ means.


----------



## watashi

Someone who's overly clingy. Sends 10 messages a day when you replied to none. Doesn't give you much space. Often unexpectedly appears in random places where you are. Hangs out near your house every day. I guess, the latter would mean I'd have to get a restraining order haha. Also says creepy weird things that make you feel uncomfortable.


----------



## johnkim

creepy guys are ones who can't read social cues. Girls have a special "creepy detector" that guys don't.

When I was working at an autoshow awhile ago, I saw a guy was talking to one of my female co-workers Lauren. I thought they were hitting off well because that guy is always talking to her whenever he's on break. Little did I know, when I went to to Lauren, the first thing she told me was that "OMG that guy is such a creep. He kept talking to me and then offered me a $5 pop. WTF and he tried to invite me to his party."

I just LOLed.


----------



## Emptyheart

Guys who stalk you in random places and eveytime u turn around u still see him.
It's happened a few times..it's creepy and scary.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Lisa said:


> Men who disregard social conventions, overstep even subtle boundaries. E.g. men who stand to close to you, men at work/college who are overfamiliar, men who check me out and don't mind that I notice, men who just stare and stare and stare.


Sounds like me. Unfortunately.


----------



## lonelyjew

ericj said:


> "Girls definition for 'creepy'?"
> ...
> Anyone of the opposite gender they don't specifically like at that particular moment.


Not true, I know girls that feel the same way about lesbians. Otherwise you're right.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Guys that invade your personal space, can't pick up social cues, or in general act weird.

I recognize that I acted like a creep towards a salesgirl (selling me a computer) yesterday. But, honest to god, I was in a weird mood; I was taking antibiotics and barely got enough sleep. I even scared my cats when I got home, the way I was acting.

Luckily, got 13 hours sleep last night, woke up today, and feel normal. Now, if only I could repeat the incident today, I'm sure I would have come off a lot better.


----------



## bezoomny

It's like when guys call a girl crazy. There's usually no reason at all, just a "feeling."


----------



## SOME

johnkim said:


> *creepy guys are ones who can't read social cues. Girls have a special "creepy detector" that guys don't.
> *
> When I was working at an autoshow awhile ago, I saw a guy was talking to one of my female co-workers Lauren. I thought they were hitting off well because that guy is always talking to her whenever he's on break. Little did I know, when I went to to Lauren, the first thing she told me was that "OMG that guy is such a creep. He kept talking to me and then offered me a $5 pop. WTF and he tried to invite me to his party."
> 
> I just LOLed.


Dang no wonder that one girl at my school suddenly just stop talking to me..... She would always start talking to me then I open my mouth and she just stop approaching me and talking to me. 

There goes my self esteem.:flush


----------



## pita

You have to be fairly weird for me to find you creepy.

People I've found creepy:

- The guy who followed me all over Wal-Mart. Pretty sure he didn't work for Wal-Mart.

I'm drawing a blank now. I'm sure there are more. Mostly, when men are awkward or inappropriate, I just figure they're socially delayed like I am.


----------



## tea111red

-most men
-those who lurk behind you

i go mostly by vibes than what a person says when determining creepiness.


----------



## Belshazzar

Failing to wear pants.

Wearing wrapping paper and a tag that reads: "From: God, To: Women."


----------



## Pure Phobia

Women jump to conclusions faster than men.

It's likely why I never really knew many girls, because when I realized I was always being a dick after a certain age, I became a quiet and more self-conscious person. I tried my best not to be a dick, then I just stopped talking to people into a few years ago. Still didn't know many girls, since they wouldn't even try to talk to me.

Social cues... how about being just straight-up? Its easier, doesn't require the nervousness to be non-existent. Its simple.

Chivalry is dead, and women killed it. <--- Read that.Doesn't apply to all girls, but probably to many of them. And I have nothing against women, since I still open the doors for them all the time.


----------



## bazinga

Lisa said:


> Men who disregard social conventions, overstep even subtle boundaries. E.g. men who talk to you on public transport or who stand to close to you, men at work/ college who are overfamiliar, men who check me out and don't mind that I notice, men who just stare and stare and stare.


Do you have any advice for a recluse as to how to meet women? I think you probably have some good information.

I dread public flirting. I don't really work with people my age, they're usually younger. I don't party or go out much because I don't have many close friends where I live.


----------



## emptybottle2

I've come across this type of guy a few times in my life:


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

nothing to fear said:


> yeah i agree with this. did anyone else see that episode of, uh... dr. phil where they had his son dress up as a completely different guy (very overweight, completely different face) and had him approach women in different situations, and then they had him do it again without the costume? he would do the same thing, say the same things but would have completely different results. with the unattractive/overweight guy women would be really weirded out but as his normal self they would be really friendly. all of the audience seemed shocked at the results but i wasn't surprised one bit since i've always observed that kind of behaviour.


Yeah, honestly it doesn't surprise me one bit either.


----------



## mcmuffinme

- sexual jokes too early into meeting a guy
- stalker behavior (aka, if you think a girl doesn't dig you based on the way she responds to you- forget her and move on. my mom was interested in my dad, and he turned her down, and she did this and he said he became jealous when she completely got over him and he changed his mind. i find this funny, but it makes sense. don't make yourself out to be desperate- even if you are)
- touching a girl too much before you've established a relationship where this is acceptable.
- when a guy gets mad at you for rejecting him even when you do it in the most polite way possible. that's just awkward. 
- don't be a player. you may be trying to come off cool, but it's possible you may be giving off rapist vibes, lol. i'm exaggerating by saying rapist, for the record, but still- it can be intimidating. 

those stand out to me


----------



## BuzzAldrin

watashi said:


> Sends 10 messages a day when you replied to none.


I second that.

I know from experience, its extremely annoying.. and creepy. :lol


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

emptybottle2 said:


> I've come across this type of guy a few times in my life:


Wow, now THAT is creepy!


----------



## Spacespider

Interesting topic. Yes, it's a reality that many women will find many men creepy. I was reading a very interesting book The Gift of Fear by Gavin Becker and one of the first things he says is "Men fear women will laugh at them, women fear men will kill them."

It's a horrifying statement and I think many on here's first reaction will be to denounce this but I feel that's how it works out. Most men don't really have to fear most women. There are always guns and cars but face to face combat, they don't worry about how the women would hurt them.

It's not true for women. If you are a woman, you have to worry about where to go, who with etc especially if something does happen, it will be your fault, not the attacker but much of the blame will be yours. (victim blaming). It will be, you must have been wearing something or not wearing something, you shouldn't have been drinking, you should have known better. Sad whatever assualt happened to you, but you should have done something else. It can be that it was because you were wearing tight jeans (recent case in Italy), or that you were wearing tight jeans and because they are difficult to rip off, and they were not ripped off, duh it must be consensual (recent case in New Zealand). You can be wearing a burka and still get raped and it will still be your fault. Ultimately it's because you own a vagina. Whatever happens is your punishment.

And really what kind of thinking is it that some humans can't control themselves merely because another human is wearing something? Surely, the emphasis on education should be on those who can't control themselves. It reminds me of the case where there were these dogs who attacked a woman in the street and the owners claimed it must be because she had her period. You wouldn't allow those dogs on the street if that really were the case because how would you control women having their periods? It's one thing if the dogs had escaped, then you warn the women these dogs attack women while on their periods then it will be a momentary thing until those dogs were caught. If the location of the dogs was known, you wouldn't let them wander about. The dogs would be stopped from going out, not the women. It would be ridiculous otherwise.

It's said 25% of all women will be raped at some time in their lives. And there's a higher percentage for sexual assualt as well. So if you know any females, 1 in every 4 would have been raped. Just think of all your female acquaintances and remember, they will not tell you. 
I can't imagine there are any women who haven't had any harrassing aggressive behaviour from a man at some point in their lives.

The super sign of a creep is that they do not respect you as a human. They demand your attention whether you want to give it to them or not. You don't have the right to your own attention. They are entitled to your attention despite your wishes. If you don't give them the attention they demand from you, they can turn angry, (call you frigid *****, rude, lesbian etc, it's all a technique to blame YOU not them). No one has the right to anyone's attention. If a woman is reading a book, and you keep making conversation and she's trying to read her book and you are not allowing her, you are being a creep.

Creeps will attack anyone they perceive will not fight back and is easier to control, it's also an assertion of power. It's easier to harrass a 15 year old than a 30 year old for example, which is why many teenage girls will have the dubious honour of dirty creeps flocking to them. Someone who has low self esteem is also perceived as easier to control. 
It's about control and power.

Sure, it's sad that some men get called creeps when they are simply being awkward or perhaps simply copying what they've seen when they really are not that way. They shouldn't blame the women, they should blame the culture that thinks this sort of thing is okay. And for the women, yes, occasionally someone gets named as a creep unfairly but better safe than sorry. So maybe that helps why many women are quick to label creep. I didn't use to especially when I was young, I wanted to be more tolerant and did get into some trouble. I've been stalked. Now, I just say f it. I don't have the energy or time, though I say I'm more aware when it's social awkwardness or plain creepy. I've had very cute and ugly guys where I didn't feel comfortable around them. I call them creepy and don't care about their hurt feelings.

This is an article about this issue you may be interested in. 
http://jezebel.com/5630170/on-women-and-street-harassment

A poster about street harassment
http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/files/2010/09/street_harassment1.jpg


----------



## stylicho

A girl grabbed my crotch once back when I was in 4th or 5th grade. It was a school outing and we had just finished swimming at the local pool. As I was walking down the bus isle she reached out and grabbed my thingamajig. I just looked at her. She was sitting with her friend smiling. I didn't think she was creepy at all . But for some reason now when I go around grabbing women's crotches they all call me a creep :stu. Oh the hypocrisy :lol.


----------



## stylicho

That last part was a joke :lol but the part about the girl grabbing my crotch, that is 100% lodged in my memory bank lol.


----------



## Amber78

emptybottle2 said:


> I've come across this type of guy a few times in my life:


Haha that is funny... "The back of your head is ridiculous"

Stalkers are creepy or guys that randomly do crap like in that vid.


----------



## Nathan18

If you dare to approach someone and she finds you unattractive, you're automatically creepy.


----------



## Belshazzar

Nathan18 said:


> If you dare to approach someone and she finds you unattractive, you're automatically creepy.


----------



## Nathan18

Belshazzar said:


>


:lol

All guys should watch that video.


----------



## lonelygirl88

Just don't approach like this:






At least get the accent/country right lol


----------



## tea111red

^lololol


----------



## Crystalline

lonesomeboy said:


> Also, I think there is a level of arrogance on the part of the female to openly be so mean to someone who took the courage to show interest and trying to be nice.


Sometimes it's not really this.



LonelyEnigma said:


> Some of the paranoia ladies have about guys being creepy is legitimate though. There are a lot of dangerous predators in our society&#8230;&#8230;and unlike men, women do not have the physical strength or size to protect themselves from aggressive men. I'm not afraid of most people (male or female) because I know I can defend myself against most people&#8230;..But if I was a petite, slender lady I would be much more cautious because I wouldn't feel near as confident about my capacity to defend myself from dangerous people.


This.

Some guy who openly showed interest in me (that I tried to be polite to as a acquaintance) grabbed me and put his hands up my shirt when he had the chance to be alone with me (the other person with us just suddenly left). I was struck dumb by it but managed to keep my wits and got into his face instead of showing how afraid I was, so he stopped. I've also been followed around very late at night by a man (I lived alone then and I had to ask the help of a security guard to get away). Regardless of whether he were hot or ugly I'd still have been terrified. Who knows what might have happened.


----------



## millenniumman75

The original post.....creepy.

I am going to say for the record that Millenniumman75 is NOT creepy and I do not even want to be accused of creepy. I may be a little weird, but that does not make me a creepy.


----------



## Freiheit

Creepy. Let's see. When a random guy starts talking to me out of the blue and asking questions about me, and gets in a seat next to me, which is what happened last week when I was on a bus. That's awkward.


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## CandySays

I think it has to do with their attractiveness, most of all. It's a mixture of not being attractive enough (to the girl, not necessarily in general) and being too forward. Most girls probably would not complain if Johnny Depp began chatting them up.


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## DeeperUnderstanding

CandySays said:


> I think it has to do with their attractiveness, most of all. It's a mixture of not being attractive enough (to the girl, not necessarily in general) and being too forward. Most girls probably would not complain if Johnny Depp began chatting them up.


I would agree with this. It's really a looks game.


----------



## millenniumman75

Olazet91 said:


> Creepy. Let's see. When a random guy starts talking to me out of the blue and asking questions about me, and gets in a seat next to me, which is what happened last week when I was on a bus. That's awkward.


Well, it may not have been his intentions. You had the right to be en garde, but you still have to have a semi-open mind.

Relationships begin with openness. If it is too fast, then that is not cool. Just be open to being a little open. Small talk is okay.


----------



## KittyGirl

being perceived as 'creepy' has very little to do with one's attractiveness... -___- honestly it's the body language; it's following someone around, asking the same questions repeatedly-- trying to probe a girl for personal information when she's obviously freaked out... that is creepy.
Just giving out a vibe like you're desperate or dangerous in some way would definitely send up warning flags to MOST girls and make them want to run away from you.
There are also guys who will secretly find out a girl's name and then google search them and look for them on facebook to learn more about them... and that in itself is mega creepy to me. Same when girls do it to a guy they might've met once and want to know more about him.

Some girls do NOT like attention from people. Some girls get scared when they're hit on or when someone shows interest suddenly and they become uncomfortable or feel creeped out.
Not every girl wants attention from guys or is _used_ to being hit on and sees it as something indecent. Getting wayyy too much attention from a person who they don't know anything about can be very very creepy-- wether he looks like prince charming or a toothless hillbilly.
Still creepy either way.


----------



## Prodigal Son

No I think for a lot of girls if she is physically attracted to the guy or not can definitely be a factor, its not an all or nothing on body language. First impressions and appearance (age, clothing, size, hygiene) is definitely a variable, it isn't an exact science either (the creepy label), some girls will not be easily creep'd out and others at the drop of the hat. I do think how the media portrays women as victims does play a factor, but both men and women can get trapped in victimhood though. Probably just different labels too, there are huge guys I see where I probably make snap judgments about, appear intimidating or just look "off" scary as hell or have certain mannerisms that doesn't seem right, I just probably wouldn't use the word creep something else to replace it. Like crazy, that dude seems crazy. threat level high

and for the guys...I don't think the creep label matters much if you know you did nothing wrong (boundaries, cues) and having a bit of common sense. The label is powerless if you don't believe it is true about you. It might not be about you at all and just a way for somebody to vent they're scared and uncomfortable or issues they have on their own and not necessarily about you.

If somebody freaks because you tensed up because of SA I wouldn't think much of it, some of those reactions are auto from your anxiety. Unless you're thinking about raping and killing peeps, but I imagine most people with SA probably tensed up or reacted oddly because of ANTs and insecurity.


----------



## Johnny_Genome

In general, I avoid talking to or approaching women who are going about their day to day business -- I wouldn't want to be bothered by every tenth guy who walked past me either. I am not overly friendly to any of the women in my building, if they say hello or smile I will reciprocate, but a lot of times they pass by in the halls like I don't exist; and I'm okay with that, that's their right. Women have a lot more safety concerns than men, and I don't want to do anything that would make them feel uncomfortable. A lot of men misinterpret even a hello or smile for interest, so I get that many women are cautious.


----------



## XxArmyofOnexX

Wooo, OCD and "what is creepy" thread = paranoia about being creepy. 

Great.


----------



## herb the dolphin

After reading this thread, I don't think I'll ever try to talk to a woman ever again.


----------



## percyblueraincoat

*hmm*

Lots and lots of paranoia on here. To the point where people ignore people for fear of coming across as something they are unlikely to come across as.

Also a lot of people refusing to drop the: "women mostly go on looks and I hate myself enough to dismiss my own looks" belief system. If it mattered how "attractive" the guy is then that's a fluctuating variable. You've got individual girls with their own definitions of what "attractive is". So one girl's creep would be another girl's prince charming.

If I've got a super model ringing me up claiming she's stood outside my house with binoculaurs pointed at my bedroom window, that's still creepy no matter how attractive she might be.

Some regional variations do happen with this. If you go to certain parts of London, England and start talking to strangers, some people will look at you like you're bonkers. That is a sweeping generalised judgement and it's important people recognise that. Not everyone in that place will act like that all the time. But it can happen. However, head into Wales and people on the street you've never met before will start up conversations with you.

Fact of the matter is: you don't know what's been going on with people when you meet them. How they react to you may have nothing to do with you at all. To be honest, I wouldn't really do the whole, walk up to girl in middle of street and ask for her number thing. So much advice I've had from girls is basically: "slow it down". Be relaxed, be confident, slow it down. Sometimes, I went on a bit too fast because I wanted everything sorted so I could feel secure and drop my belief about being a loser. But a lot of women said to me: "bad stuff is gonna happen, things aren't going to go your way all the time, we want to see our man handle himself in those situations".

I've done the go up to someone and be friendly thing. I've even gone up to one or two women and told them how good I think they look. Not just in terms of looks but style and that kind of thing. Those went well.

I still fumble, I still probably say the wrong thing and I still probably come off as weird to some people. But since I stopped believing most of the negative stuff I'd thought about myself, I stopped caring when that happens.


----------



## PickleNose

All men are "creepy". Some are just better than others at hiding it. Or to put it another way - All men are "creepy". Some of us know it and some of us don't. The ones who know it are usually better at concealing their own creepiness. So, ironically, women frequently end up with the creepiest men around by actively looking for a man who doesn't seem the slightest bit creepy.


----------



## herb the dolphin

KittyGirl said:


> There are also guys who will secretly find out a girl's name and then google search them and look for them on facebook to learn more about them... and that in itself is mega creepy to me. Same when girls do it to a guy they might've met once and want to know more about him.


Uhhh... isn't that the whole point of facebook?


----------



## melissa75

I'm not going to read ALL posts here, but after skimming through, "creepy" has taken on a new connatation, it seems. Google searching, facebooking people or whatever, is not "creepy" to me. If you've ever actually been stalked, this is nothing. "Creepy" like joinmartin said, is a hot girl with binoculars trying to get a look at you through your window. It is not someone you consider to be unattractive trying to randomly get to know you. Now, if someone was following me around constantly, after I told him (or her) that I wasn't interested, that would be creepy. But, you can't fault anyone for being attracted to you and trying to get to know you...at work, at the gym, wherever. If they continue to bother you with their efforts, and you've made it clear you're not interested, that might be considered creepy or just annoying.


----------



## herb the dolphin

KittyGirl said:


> Some girls do NOT like attention from people. Some girls get scared when they're hit on or when someone shows interest suddenly and they become uncomfortable or feel creeped out.
> Not every girl wants attention from guys or is _used_ to being hit on and sees it as something indecent. Getting wayyy too much attention from a person who they don't know anything about can be very very creepy-- wether he looks like prince charming or a toothless hillbilly.
> Still creepy either way.


WOW.

So now talking to a girl you don't know well is considered creepy? How are you supposed to get to know her? She's not going to try to get to know you, that's for sure... girls never do this! Even if they like you, all they do is look at you like 'why aren't you making your move?'... but then if you do go over there and start talking and they find out you're not capable of putting them at ease in a situation where your nerves are already pretty much shot, they'll deny that this ever happened or change their mind or whatever, and then act like you're creepy. So basically, you're screwed if you don't, and you're screwed if you do.

Personally, I wouldn't want to know someone like you EVER... but it seems to be becoming more acceptable to think this way. Girls are becoming so touchy about this kind of thing that it's impossible to meet anyone... it's become like a female bonding experience to express mutual disgust over so-called creepy men... many of whom are probably just socially retarded like me and end up beating themselves up endlessly afterwards... this after finally magically mustering up enough confidence to approach someone only to be shot down time and time again.

I GIVE UP.


----------



## bsd3355

Yeah, I'm about to give up to, or at least take a break for 50 years. I get rejected so much I would of never imagined it to be the case in the past.


----------



## Clumsy

Men who are 20+ years older than I am hitting on me are generally those who I view as creepy. Also, a man who stares too much, like constantly stares, especially if he has a weird smile on his face.

I don't mind guys who randomly come up to me and start conversations, as long as they don't get too personal.

My question is, isn't it also possible to be seen as creepy even if you're female?


----------



## TallGuy87

Clumsy said:


> My question is, isn't it also possible to be seen as creepy even if you're female?


Only if I'm awakened at 3:47 a.m. to the sound of her violently going through my worn clothing and sniffing my dirty underwear.

In all seriousness though, I don't think I've ever found any girl who has watched me or walked up and attempted to start a conversation as creepy. I take it as a compliment more than anything. Ok, I take that back I find it creepy when random drug addicts downtown ask me for change. Other than that, I don't label anyone as being "creepy".


----------



## pita

I've only ever heard one woman be called creepy by a man. She had social anxiety disorder, I'm pretty sure, so that was probably part of it. 

Usually, 'crazy' is the special word reserved for women who don't understand social cues & rules. The creepy gal? She got called crazy, too.

I think creepiness implies some kind of power imbalance in favour of the so-called creep. That's why women aren't usually considered creepy. A 'creepy old guy' following you around the park is creepy in part because we think he's potentially dangerous and capable of overpowering us. A 'crazy old woman' might be considered unstable, but I've never heard anyone say they're afraid to walk around women's shelters at night.


----------



## FireSoks

Well it's good to know that woman aren't all that often perceived as creepy. Gives me more permission to start initiating conversations with guys while not worrying what is sounding off in their heads. In this day and age I think more females have taken it upon themselves to walk up to random guys or start conversations, but that may just be my take on it.

I have no issues with guys approaching and having conversations with me as long as they keep a type of formalness to their topics. 

Also, reading some posts about guys who have invaded personal space- I hope you girls retaliated in such situations. :|


----------



## velvet1

Staring for way too long. I just find that creepy but also things that are just out of the ordinary. I know this kid who says things about his life, about how his mom didn't want him and how he hit head on a brick wall plus other things :um. He is not a bad person but their is a creepiness about him. They're also people who have that creepy face because of their facial expression.


----------



## nothing to fear

Spacespider said:


> Interesting topic. Yes, it's a reality that many women will find many men creepy. I was reading a very interesting book The Gift of Fear by Gavin Becker and one of the first things he says is "Men fear women will laugh at them, women fear men will kill them."
> 
> It's a horrifying statement and I think many on here's first reaction will be to denounce this but I feel that's how it works out. Most men don't really have to fear most women. There are always guns and cars but face to face combat, they don't worry about how the women would hurt them.
> 
> It's not true for women. If you are a woman, you have to worry about where to go, who with etc especially if something does happen, it will be your fault, not the attacker but much of the blame will be yours. (victim blaming). It will be, you must have been wearing something or not wearing something, you shouldn't have been drinking, you should have known better. Sad whatever assualt happened to you, but you should have done something else. It can be that it was because you were wearing tight jeans (recent case in Italy), or that you were wearing tight jeans and because they are difficult to rip off, and they were not ripped off, duh it must be consensual (recent case in New Zealand). You can be wearing a burka and still get raped and it will still be your fault. Ultimately it's because you own a vagina. Whatever happens is your punishment.
> 
> And really what kind of thinking is it that some humans can't control themselves merely because another human is wearing something? Surely, the emphasis on education should be on those who can't control themselves. It reminds me of the case where there were these dogs who attacked a woman in the street and the owners claimed it must be because she had her period. You wouldn't allow those dogs on the street if that really were the case because how would you control women having their periods? It's one thing if the dogs had escaped, then you warn the women these dogs attack women while on their periods then it will be a momentary thing until those dogs were caught. If the location of the dogs was known, you wouldn't let them wander about. The dogs would be stopped from going out, not the women. It would be ridiculous otherwise.
> 
> It's said 25% of all women will be raped at some time in their lives. And there's a higher percentage for sexual assualt as well. So if you know any females, 1 in every 4 would have been raped. Just think of all your female acquaintances and remember, they will not tell you.
> I can't imagine there are any women who haven't had any harrassing aggressive behaviour from a man at some point in their lives.
> 
> * The super sign of a creep is that they do not respect you as a human. They demand your attention whether you want to give it to them or not. You don't have the right to your own attention. They are entitled to your attention despite your wishes. If you don't give them the attention they demand from you, they can turn angry, (call you frigid *****, rude, lesbian etc, it's all a technique to blame YOU not them). No one has the right to anyone's attention. If a woman is reading a book, and you keep making conversation and she's trying to read her book and you are not allowing her, you are being a creep. *
> 
> Creeps will attack anyone they perceive will not fight back and is easier to control, it's also an assertion of power. It's easier to harrass a 15 year old than a 30 year old for example, which is why many teenage girls will have the dubious honour of dirty creeps flocking to them. Someone who has low self esteem is also perceived as easier to control.
> It's about control and power.
> 
> Sure, it's sad that some men get called creeps when they are simply being awkward or perhaps simply copying what they've seen when they really are not that way. They shouldn't blame the women, they should blame the culture that thinks this sort of thing is okay. And for the women, yes, occasionally someone gets named as a creep unfairly but better safe than sorry. So maybe that helps why many women are quick to label creep.* I didn't use to especially when I was young, I wanted to be more tolerant and did get into some trouble. I've been stalked. Now, I just say f it. I don't have the energy or time, though I say I'm more aware when it's social awkwardness or plain creepy. I've had very cute and ugly guys where I didn't feel comfortable around them. I call them creepy and don't care about their hurt feelings. *
> 
> This is an article about this issue you may be interested in.
> http://jezebel.com/5630170/on-women-and-street-harassment
> 
> A poster about street harassment


Really great post *claps*. Heh, I actually saved that picture when I first read that Jezebel post so that I could whip it out when discussing harassment/creepiness.

The last bolded part is how I also used to feel about it. Getting harassed by men every so often over the years has resulted in me being very alert all the time (mainly when alone) for any potential creeps/creepy behaviour. The first bolded part is how I'd described many situations I've been in (essentially, the only times I have been approached by a stranger were like that and I am not overreacting). I can't wrap my head around why some men think that is a good idea... Then there is the obnoxious yelling/hollering from 1 or more guys if I'm just walking my dog in the park or something (and sometimes they don't let up until I acknowledge their presence, ugh). 
I used to feel confident and enjoy going out alone but with the amount of random sexual assaults that occur and all the times I've been really scared of something happening, I've ended up being pretty bitter and really ****ing paranoid when in certain situations or settings (like, "heart being out of your chest and being ready to sprint the **** home" paranoid).

So... While I understand why SA guys are so worried about seeming creepy, one should probably first understand that women who use the 'creep' label are doing it because there is a need to - they have been harassed, followed, felt threatened, maybe even assaulted or rape in the past - and safety is (and should be) the top priority.


----------



## sacred

creepy is just a defence against beta rape. when she say creepy she is subconsciously thinking about when beta gangs rode the rape train before humans became civil.

do you notice when a creepy guy is around these girl will cling to an alpha or an enforcer type guy. same old **** just a different time period.


----------



## nothing to fear

No, but I can see them trying to avoid the "creepy guy"


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

RooBear said:


> Also, reading some posts about guys who have invaded personal space


One of them was mine, I bet.


----------



## bsd3355

_AJ_ said:


> creep·y [kree-pee] -adjective, creep·i·er, creep·i·est.
> 1. Anything unattractive with a penis
> 
> And heres some helpful tips for avoiding sexual harrassment charges:
> tip 1: be attractive
> 
> with these helpful tips your sure to get by just fine


lol


----------



## BeNice

nothing to fear said:


> I used to feel confident and enjoy going out alone but with the amount of random sexual assaults that occur and all the times I've been really scared of something happening, I've ended up being pretty bitter and really ****ing paranoid when in certain situations or settings (like, "heart being out of your chest and being ready to sprint the **** home" paranoid).


I feel the same way when walking at night ever since I was jumped at the end of August. Three guys beat the crap out of me. Now, every time I am walking at night and I see a young black guy and no one is around, I feel like I am going to get robbed. My heart will start racing like crazy, sometimes even when I see someone from far away and then I get closer and it turns out it's someone that's pretty harmless looking, like an older couple. Just knowing that there are guys out there ready to beat the living s--t out of you freaks me out. After something like this happens to you, your perspective kind of changes. And, the thing is, they really are out there ready to do this to you. You just have to be in the right place, and I often am. Can I not go for walks at night anymore because of a-holes? This is why I now believe that you should be able to carry a gun. If someone wants to try to hurt me while I'm going for a walk, a bullet to your face.


----------



## nothing to fear

BeNice said:


> I feel the same way when walking at night ever since I was jumped at the end of August. Three guys beat the crap out of me. Now, every time I am walking at night and I see a young black guy and no one is around, I feel like I am going to get robbed. My heart will start racing like crazy, sometimes even when I see someone from far away and then I get closer and it turns out it's someone that's pretty harmless looking, like an older couple. Just knowing that there are guys out there ready to beat the living s--t out of you freaks me out. After something like this happens to you, your perspective kind of changes. And, the thing is, they really are out there ready to do this to you. You just have to be in the right place, and I often am. Can I not go for walks at night anymore because of a-holes? This is why I now believe that you should be able to carry a gun. If someone wants to try to hurt me while I'm going for a walk, a bullet to your face.


Yea, I read that thread, thats ****ed up. I have an acquaintance who was on a beach here with some friends, just playing guitar and causing no ruckus or harm to anyone (no one was even nearby), and a group of guys come by and beat them up and rob them. No one was severely hurt but that sort of thing is really ****ed up. Actually the guitar was broken (or stolen?) and a music store here ended up donated money for a new guitar which is pretty cool.

Hearing about situations like that always freaks me out though. I tend to think I'm safe if I go out one person (or more), particularly if it's a male (I'm usually with my boyfriend anyway) but if there are two others who assault or rob you then it really doesn't matter. I've heard of sexual assaults here where a couple would be approached and both threatened with a knife or gun and forced to comply... Ugh.

Anyway I don't think anyone should live in fear like that and not be allowed to have a leisurely walk without that intense fear. I've actually thought of how great it would feel to have a switchblade with me and stab some ****er who tried anything and I'm usually really against resorting to violence in the vast majority of situations, but I just get too scared sometimes .
Thought about learning self-defense?


----------



## baseballdude

Sorry for bringing this thread back but I have always thought this topic was interesting. In my case, I almost always label myself as "creepy". I often think to myself that all girls find me creepy, and if they don't find me creepy at first, they will eventually down the line will see me as creepy. I hate it.


----------



## Harpuia

Why oh why did you have to bring this thread back up?


----------



## Ivan AG

I have a bad feeling about this.....


----------



## IcedOver

Futures said:


> I often times get the impression if you're a guy who the woman is not attracted to and you show interest in her, that alone is enough for some women to label you as creepy.


Yes, this is the case today. If you don't look like Brad Pitt and your gaze strays to a woman for more than one second, you're considered "creepy" and a potential rapist.

It's pretty sad that today's women have the latitude to label a guy a "creeper" so liberally, as doing so can have a negative effect on a good guy's social standing. A woman's choice of when and to whom to apply this adjective says more about her than about the guys.


----------



## Freiheit

I don't consider guys creepy...unless it's a random old guy trying to be overly friendly/tries to get into my personal space...or a straight up pervert...


----------



## Harpuia

Can't this thread just die? Seriously? Or someone lock it? It's making me very uncomfortable.


----------



## IcedOver

So don't read it.


----------



## watashi

People who don't know when to back off and leave you alone are creepy. I guess, sometimes you can blame it on misunderstanding, not being able to assess the other person's mood. Eye contact and body language can actually tell you a lot, but some guys either don't care or rely too much on their ego to pay attention to such details. Well, as long as someone is not really a sociopath serial killer rapist I probably wouldn't consider them truely creepy.


----------



## melissa75

Harpuia said:


> Can't this thread just die? Seriously? Or someone lock it? It's making me very uncomfortable.


What I hate about this thread is that there are numerous posts by women stating what they define "creepy" as. Yet, those posts are ignored/discounted, and the guys continue to say what girls _really_ consider creeps to be. Our opinions don't matter even though we were asked our definition of "creepy", and it's nothing like the guys are making it out to be.


----------



## Harpuia

melissa75 said:


> What I hate about this thread is that there are numerous posts by women stating what they define "creepy" as. Yet, those posts are ignored/discounted, and the guys continue to say what girls really consider creeps to be. Our opinions don't matter even though we were asked our definition of "creepy".


Part of that, and I hate to say this because I sort of side with the girls here on this, is that people tend to say one thing and act a whole different way.

The only other solution to that problem is that the girls here say one thing and are actually telling the truth, but the guys here are far more often encountering a whole different type of girl who would find a creepy guy as any guy who isn't that Hollywood-looks hunk making a bunch of money as an executive/lawyer/gambler. So even though you can say "you're not that kind of girl" and all of you (well, most of you) probably are, think that many of these guys are encountering the girl who, when they ask them out, don't just reject them, but humiliate them.

Either way, this thread is just going to cause more problems, and I hate the word "creepy" entirely. I never use it to describe ANYONE, because I know how rough the word can be on a human being. I've had it labeled to me half a dozen times, including once recently. And if you make a fuss about it, you cause problems and if you're a guy like me, you're usually at a disadvantage to prove you're not creepy as the accused.


----------



## Chris16

I'm sorry if the women feel like they're being ignored; it's not only the people who post in this thread that read it, so it's not wasted.

I figure a lot of guys didn't enter this thread with the intention to ask a question like the OP did. They saw the word creepy and wanted to share their experiences overhearing the word used on themselves or on other people, and that's all it was. A lot of us didn't even know sites like this existed, so when we find posts we can relate to we just vomit out the thoughts that have been dammed up for a long time without caring much about what others say.


----------



## Ape in space

The fact that some women on this thread have given their definition of creepy is beside the point. Even if there are many women who don't use 'creepy' so liberally, a significant proportion of them do, and many of us have experienced this in real life. Those girls clearly DO consider harmless guys to be creepy, solely because they are mean-spirited and judgemental. So this is not simply a matter of guys closing their eyes to reality and ignoring what women actually think. We have experienced this in real life enough to know that it is a real issue, even if not all women behave like this.


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## melissa75

Yeah, I probably spoke too soon. I agree there are girls that will call a guy creepy for no reason, and I'm sorry for you guys that have had to deal with that. I guess I just wanted to make sure you knew that there are women that aren't like that. But, obviously you knew this already.


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## Harpuia

melissa75 said:


> Yeah, I probably spoke too soon. I agree there are girls that will call a guy creepy for no reason, and I'm sorry for you guys that have had to deal with that. I guess I just wanted to make sure you knew that there are women that aren't like that. But, obviously you knew this already.


QFT. I just think that many of the girls here shouldn't shrug off the guys' feelings so easily. But yeah, believe me, there are real.. uh... eccentric people out there, that would scare anyone, guy or girl. They almost certainly wouldn't be on a forum feeling socially anxious. They're the type that actually feel confident about themselves, believe it or not, just in the weird, wayward, psychotic, not-normal kind of confidence.

I haven't seen a guy here that has to worry about being THAT way.


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## solasum

Instead of a definition, I'll provide an anecdote: one who waits in train station cafés to hit on women.


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## Stilla

solasum said:


> Instead of a definition, I'll provide an anecdote: one who waits in train station cafés to hit on women.


:lol

I've noticed that the library is an incredibly popular pick up place as well...


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## Atticus

melissa75 said:


> What I hate about this thread is that there are numerous posts by women stating what they define "creepy" as. Yet, those posts are ignored/discounted, and the guys continue to say what girls _really_ consider creeps to be. Our opinions don't matter even though we were asked our definition of "creepy", and it's nothing like the guys are making it out to be.


I think you have a point. You and other women who try to be reassuring in this thread and other similar threads do seem to get ignored. This has to be frustrating. It's not entirely sex based though. In the "weight/appearance" threads authored by women, reassuring comments from both sexes were often ignored while unsupportive remarks were attended to. Human nature, maybe?

I do think the word "creep" presents sort of a special case, especially here. Men who are simply quiet and keep to themselves tend to rouse suspicion in women and outgoing men. It's unexpected behavior, against the norm. Because they are hard to know, quiet men walk a very fine line between the "quiet" guy and the "creepy" guy, and sometimes the only difference is the mood of the person doing the labeling. So it's a particularly sensitive issue here, I would think.

As an aside, I never got the creep label as a young man. I went from total almost total isolation to being married in a pretty short period of time, and being married validated me to some extent. Maybe I was lucky.

However, as I age I have to check myself more and more. Every thread about creepiness or difficulty women have in public places eventually has a post or two about creepy old guys. I am old, but I don't think I'm creepy. I'm pretty concerned about that label, though. I walk around as if I'm wearing blinders. I look for men or women over age 40 if I'm in public and need to ask a question or communicate with someone for any reason. I have a keen, almost eerie (creepy word :yes) sense of personal space, so I'm unlikely to invade someone else's, yet I'm hyper aware now of where younginsh women are around me and I try to steer away from them.

I do these things not because I don't trust myself and not because I'm paranoid. I do these things because I don't want to be perceived as "that creepy old guy". I think I'm sane, and I firmly believe there is a real issue here. Young guys with limited social skills who are trying to relate to women feel vulnerable. Older guys who are concerned about their reputations feel vulnerable. Even when we don't have a genuinely creepy bone in our bodies.


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## melissa75

Harpuia said:


> QFT. *I just think that many of the girls here shouldn't shrug off the guys' feelings so easily*. But yeah, believe me, there are real.. uh... eccentric people out there, that would scare anyone, guy or girl. They almost certainly wouldn't be on a forum feeling socially anxious. They're the type that actually feel confident about themselves, believe it or not, just in the weird, wayward, psychotic, not-normal kind of confidence.
> 
> I haven't seen a guy here that has to worry about being THAT way.


I agree with the bolded statement after reading some of the guy's posts in this thread about being called a creep. I do see now how frustrating it must be to be called this derogatory term when you feel like you've done nothing wrong but show a little interest. And, coming from someone with SA, I know how tough it is to show a little interest. There is a big difference between guys that show interest and guys that outright stalk girls that needs to be recognized.



Atticus said:


> I do these things not because I don't trust myself and not because I'm paranoid. I do these things because I don't want to be perceived as "that creepy old guy". I think I'm sane, and I firmly believe there is a real issue here. Young guys with limited social skills who are trying to relate to women feel vulnerable. Older guys who are concerned about their reputations feel vulnerable. Even when we don't have a genuinely creepy bone in our bodies.


I totally get this, and it's unfortunate. I say that because it's true that mostly men are expected to approach women. But, then, they have to somehow know if it's okay to approach them. Well, if you have limited social skills, how do you know what to say, what to do without blurting something out that seems outright creepy? I know I would be empathetic enough to not consider it creepy, but I know what you guys go through. I see lots of guys post on this forum that they don't want to look at profiles, or comment on pics, or message girls because they're afraid of being called a creep.

I feel terrible that they feel that way. But, I wonder why...are there that many girls out there calling these guys creeps for no reason??? Are they doing it for attention or what? I don't get it. But, I've seen a few posts from girls in this thread on their definition of creepy, and sorry, but that is not what "creepy" should be defined as. That is frustrating as **** and another reason I hate this thread.

p.s. I know I need to get over thinking my little reassuring comments are going to make a world of difference to everyone because you're exactly right...it's just human nature .


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## Harpuia

solasum said:


> Instead of a definition, I'll provide an anecdote: one who waits in train station cafés to hit on women.


Ok, see? This is what I mean. Have you ever thought to analyze why the guy is on that train station cafe?

Assume three possibilities.

1) To hit on a woman.

2) To get to somewhere on the train and just happened to see a pretty girl nearby so thought he'd start a conversation.

3) [albeit least likely] Someone who has SA who is looking to try to get out of their comfort zone and talk to someone and who just happens to have ran into a girl. Because some guys (like me) are more comfortable talking to girls than to guys.

If their intention is 2 or 3, that is NOT creepy by any definition of the word. If it's 1, he's most likely just a "creep" and not "creepy". And it's beliefs like that that only validates the guys on this board by trying to tell other girls that they only believe X, Y, and Z when they do not. X being looks, Y being money, Z being alpha-ness.


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## Harpuia

melissa75 said:


> I agree with the bolded statement after reading some of the guy's posts in this thread about being called a creep. I do see now how frustrating it must be to be called this derogatory term when you feel like you've done nothing wrong but show a little interest. And, coming from someone with SA, I know how tough it is to show a little interest. There is a big difference between guys that show interest and guys that outright stalk girls that needs to be recognized.
> 
> I totally get this, and it's unfortunate. I say that because it's true that mostly men are expected to approach women. But, then, they have to somehow know if it's okay to approach them. Well, if you have limited social skills, how do you know what to say, what to do without blurting something out that seems outright creepy? I know I would be empathetic enough to not consider it creepy, but I know what you guys go through. I see lots of guys post on this forum that they don't want to look at profiles, or comment on pics, or message girls because they're afraid of being called a creep.
> 
> I feel terrible that they feel that way. But, I wonder why...are there that many girls out there calling these guys creeps for no reason??? Are they doing it for attention or what? I don't get it. But, I've seen a few posts from girls in this thread on their definition of creepy, and sorry, but that is not what "creepy" should be defined as. That is frustrating as **** and another reason I hate this thread.
> 
> p.s. I know I need to get over thinking my little reassuring comments are going to make a world of difference to everyone because you're exactly right...it's just human nature .


That's why I have said in my story that guys should in turn try to find girls that fit their personality, not just their interests. A lot of people thought I meant "date on SAS". Not true. There are places where girls tend to be more attuned to the personality of the guys on here. A nightclub or a bar is definitely not one of them. A frat party sure is not either.

Just little clues I picked up along the way.

And melissa, you know I don't refer to you. You're teh awesome!!!


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## stylicho

Is it a creepy when I ask woman in grocery store "how much"? And I not refer to a shoulder steak, I refer to a rump roast.


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## millenniumman75

This whole thread is creepy :afr.


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## Neptunus

^ Hear, hear!


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