# Thinking of seeing a Male therapist...



## Keikei (Mar 16, 2004)

I'm female and always tried other females as therapists, with the exception of med management dr's. I'm so extremely depressed now and need to get help. I've always felt too afraid i wouldn't be able to open up to someone if they were male, even though most of my friends are guys. But I wonder if perhaps I might actually respond ok to a man doing the counseling if I just gave it a chance for once. I'm just so tired of these women who are too nice and, for me at any rate, do not particularly push me to grow in any way.

How is therapy for women when you see a male therapist? Like pro's/con's you could think of? I am going to try to get a list from my insurance tomorrow and they always ask do you care if it is a man or woman, so I'm trying to figure out what I want to do in this regard. :um


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## MrWibblyWobbly (Mar 2, 2012)

I'm male, and have found even some male therapists are too nice and don't really help me get out of myself. My two previous therapists were male and... well, they didn't help me much. They just sat there, very passively, guiding me with questions. I feel like that could work with some people, but for anxiety/depression, I think most people need a more active-directive approach. I can ask myself questions in my journal. I come to therapy for fresh perspective on my life/issues. 

I know how frustrating it is to have a "nice" therapist, because you feel all that's happening is they're just reinforcing your old, anxious self. I knew after a while that, if I continued with those guys, I'd simply never make any changes in my life. I finally found a good therapist (who happens to be female) who was a breath of fresh air: she was really down-to-earth and compassionate, but also hard-edged and very blunt. I liked her style. She uses concepts of mindfulness/Buddhist psychology, which works really well for me and has helped me make progress much faster. When I moved cities, I found a male therapist, who was also very good, and had a nice active approach. 

I think just getting a therapist that works for you is the important thing, whether male or female.


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## blue the puppy (Jul 23, 2011)

im female and my last two therapists were male. i find them much easier to talk to and less judgmental than the many female therapists ive seen over the years. i cant think of any cons. my next therapist (unfortunately i had to stop seeing my last one) will be male too.


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## sickofshyness (Oct 18, 2011)

I find my male therapist very helpful. However, I think a lot of it is he truly understands SA; not so much he is a male. I was surprised that I am able to open up to a male therapist as much as I have. Soooo give it a try-I hope it works for you! Maybe you could also be straight with the therapist at the beginning telling them that you want them to be a little hard on you-that you really want to get better and that you want to open up-but may need some pushing-because you know how you are.


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