# Does anyone here NOT get crushes?



## Babygirly (Dec 2, 2004)

I ask this because i cannot STOP mine.. I'm always looking for a new one... haha. ever since i can remember (age 5).

Crushes are on most of the of guys in my classes... then had a crush on a couple of teachers... then people I worked with.. boyfriend's friends... yada yada... XD And they are always, well typically, extreme ones... i'll eventually end up fantasizing about our future babies and such... ;x

Of course, everyone isn't like this, I know.. typically, people have one here and there. And since i've always have at least one going (seriously, at all times.. Lol..) i can't fathom what life would be like without having crushes! so, what do you people do?!!? Hobbies? Even if i do things such as watch movies or go for a walk I always think "Hey- it'd be more enjoyable is [crush] were here..."

So, from the people that don't get crushes... What do you think about mostly? And if someone has a crush on you are just you indifferent about it or something? :get ... :b ..cuz as soon as a guy shows interest in me, even if it's neutral, I'm all thinking about how our kids will be.. :rofl


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

I think I've had my last crush.


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## HoboQueen (Jan 25, 2008)

It's interesting that you posted this because I was just thinking about this subject the other day.

I used to get a lot of crushes when I was younger. The last crush I had was when I was 14 and since then I haven't had any. There have been people who I've been attracted to but it's never crossed the line into infatuation. My last crush was kind of intense so who knows. Maybe I just got it all out of my system? Or maybe it's because my healing process began when I was 15 so I just didn't require the distraction of a crush anymore?


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

I'm not sure if i ever had a crush. There was this girl at my last job who had a very pretty face, and I couldn't stop smiling whenever I saw her, but I don't know if that would be considered a crush or not.


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

Let me rephrase that. I've had the last crush that I'll pursue. If I'm attracted to someone in the future, I'll just ask them out and avoid all the bs dancing around and crap. Apparently I'm growing a set of balls in my middle age.


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## Pinzelhead (Mar 14, 2007)

I can't help BUT develop crushes on pretty little ladies. Drives me absolutely insane. Some last only minutes, others well, one is still going as strong as ever, 23 years and counting. My crushes are normally transient unless I get even so much as a glance it will persist forever and ever.


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## Nihlanth (Sep 1, 2004)

I used to get crushes but they were very rare. Now, after all the confounding pain of rejection - and subsequent analyzations of why I developed a crush in the first place - I inadvertently trained my own mind and heart to make it immune to crushes. The drawback of this is that feelings of empathy and trust are thrown out the window, and in its place is a desire for maintaining the upper-hand (maintain power) in a relationship. Infatuation is impossible since I am able to pinpoint flaws and find excuses not to like the person.

In a way, having a crush once in a while is a good thing becauses it increases your motivation and drive to talk to that person.

Or maybe I simply dont meet enough young women on a daily basis?


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## archaic (Jan 16, 2006)

A while back, someone posted a link to the Wikipedia page on "limerence." That fits me exactly.


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## Vincenzo (Sep 24, 2005)

I used to have obsessive crushes on people all the time up until I was like 20, but now I seldom feel the same way. It's a retarded-sounding way to describe it, but I think I've 'grown out' of having such childishly romantic notions. I'm sure that this has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that every crush I had was a pathetic exercise in self-torture.


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

i get a lot of minor crushes. i've actually only had a couple serious crushes, "serious" meaning they last months, they only happen when they guy actually pays attention to me back and seems interested, even though i know it would never work out.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

I've had / have two on this site and a few at work


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

I haven't had a crush since high school. It's hard for me to develop crushes on people, since I don't really talk to anyone or go anywhere.


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## Slow Polk (Feb 28, 2008)

I had them all through high school and college. I think is was because I found myself alone and bored so often that I would look for cute & interesting girls in my immediate surroundings to help pass the time. Now that I am out of school I don't seem to have any crushes. It's probably due to the fact that most of the women I now encounter on a daily basis are married. That just takes all the fun out of it for me.

I'm pretty sure that none of my crushes ever knew I existed. I still found it fascinating to ponder what it would be like to have a relationship with them.


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

Crushes go away as you get older. Then again, _everything_ goes aways when you get older. I'd almost wish i'd get them again. I've been romantically barren for the past three years.


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

i have this problem too. i really don't want to have one because i know nothing will ever come of it so why bother wasting thoughts on the person. on the other hand it gives me something to look forward to in life, though i always get depressed in the end.the only way i seem to get over a crush is if i find out they are completely different than they appeared, finding a new one or not leaving the house.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Well the good news is they are less frequent than they used to be  I still get them every so often. It's funny though I think I feel better when I have no crushes.


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## Polar (Dec 16, 2006)

I don't get crushes very often any more, but right now I have a big one. :mushy

She doesn't seem to be very interested though... :stu


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## trey (Nov 26, 2007)

I don't get crushes.

The closest I get is enjoying somebody's personality so I have the desire to spend time around them and get to know them better. It is not any sort of romantic interest however, and if given the opportunity to date them I would not do it. I've never had any real interest in any sort of romantic relationship.

I'm pretty sure it's caused by some form of psychological repression, but I have little desire to change that. Having watched people in relationships over the years I don't feel as though I'm missing out on much.


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## CoconutHolder (Oct 13, 2007)

wow yeah I've probably had a million crushes in my life. And obsessive ones too. I was REALLY bad when I was younger.


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

I still get crushes but they're easier to ignore. I've come to realize that I have no chance with anyone I get a crush on. No point to even dwell on them anymore.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

No, no crushes here. I had two in my lifetime. One at age 16-17, and another at age 18-20. Nothing since, and I don't know if I'll get them again. I'd be very uncomfortable if someone asked me out.


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## Veggie1 (Jan 12, 2006)

Not really. I had them a lot when I was a young girl and into my 20s and they would last a LONG time. I had a crush on a guy in high school when I was thinking of dropping out of school but I stayed because I looked forward to seeing him and him just saying a friendly hi to me. That one lasted three years. He's a married minister now, I guess, and I'm agnostic. 

Now I might see someone cute somewhere but I don't actually get crushes because it's futile. The closest thing to a crush now is a cute celeb, which just isn't real, or reading about a man who is passionate about helping animals. I could love someone like that but it's not likely I'll meet anyone in person like that (Gene Baur is probably taken, haha). Paul Watson is taken. They usually are. :b


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## Prism (Dec 17, 2004)

I suppose I am pretty similar to the topic creator - I usually have a crush (or crushes LOL). Right now though I have a far more serious crush than I normally do to the point where I feel pretty excited about it at times and depressed other times when my negative thinking gets the best of me ("it will never happen," etc.). I want to tell her about it yet I have a lot of difficulty with expressing my feelings.


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## slyfox (Nov 18, 2007)

Maybe one or two crushes a year tops. Very few women interest me anymore.


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

I rarely get crushes, for they have to fit a certain type of personality. 

I'll write about it sometime.


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

Gerard said:


> I rarely get crushes, for they have to fit a certain type of personality.
> 
> I'll write about it sometime.


i think this is why i don't get crushes often too. there's a certain personality type that i like and most guys don't fit that criteria. i'm not saying i just dismiss a lot of them quickly, i just don't even fit in and relate with the majority of the people i meet. i have to at least relate to someone or share something in common with someone to like them as a friend or more. in a way i embrace my uniqueness but at the same time it makes it very difficult to find someone i could have as a friend or boyfriend.. and then there's my shyness/SA on top of that so it's nearly impossible to find people to get close to.


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

I'm more "discerning" now that I've survived my latest crush. If I feel crushy feelings coming on, I acknowledge I care in some way for that person (woman), but I try to keep an appropriate emotional distance. Crushes are really a waste of emotional energy. They have nothing to do with liking someone's character. It's a big desire to have them like you. Which is really just insecurity or basing your validation on one person's opinion. And they're probably going to turn out to be an idiot in the end. 

Is that cold enough? I could go on? haha


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

OOh my screen just frosted up


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Emotional distance for years and years and years is absurdly boring and makes life desaturated. Trust me. It's a bit difficult to leave now (cough, UNDERSTATEMENT, cough).


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## palecadude (Jan 26, 2008)

No crushes here, but then again I guess it's kinda hard to get a crush when you don't see or talk to the opposite sex.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

I think I need to get some fresh ones


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Where are you finding these crushes, Ross? Is it mostly in places you go to buy things, or... I don't know. Maybe it's a dumb question, but I don't know where else people would go really. Also, what's the minimum level of interaction you can go and still get a crush? Is it sometimes just by looking alone?

I can recognize females as pretty, but I get no sort of "crush" feeling whatsoever (since it's so shameful, after all... hah).


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Kwik-e-mart.

Top shelf.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Oh my. Are they alive??


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## CoconutHolder (Oct 13, 2007)

LOL


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## estelle85 (Jan 22, 2008)

..THIS IS SAD CAUSE I GET CRUSHES ON ALMOST EVERYGUY I MEET..( AS LONG AS THEIR NOT TOO UGLY AND TOO FAT..LOOOL)..this just proves how deprieved i was of human beings..err nVM :wtf 



:rofl


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

ardrum said:


> Oh my. Are they alive??


They are the handbag people. The ones I carry around with me and feed muffin and cheese pieces to.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

I think another contributing factor to my lack of crushes (in addition to the unfortunately very deep shame) is the defectiveness aspect of finding it so, so, so damn hard to even imagine that a female living human being could be attracted to me romantically. 

Has anyone considered dating blind people?


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

ardrum said:


> I think another contributing factor to my lack of crushes (in addition to the unfortunately very deep shame) is the defectiveness aspect of finding it so, so, so damn hard to even imagine that a female living human being could be attracted to me romantically.
> 
> *Has anyone considered dating blind people?*


uh, i've thought about that.. how much easier it would be to be with a blind guy compared to one with sight because he wouldn't have to see how ugly i am and would only judge me based on my personality. then again he might be able to touch my face and _feel _how disfigured it is.. if that makes any sense.


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

i'm curious, what would all of you define as a "crush"?

i rarely get any major crushes. a minor crush for me would be a guy i see occaisonally, who's personality and appearance i like but i wouldn't think about him constantly (e.g. this awkward hot guy at work who i've never spoken to). 
a "major crush" would be a guy who i think about when i'm not around him, he gives me "butterflies" in my chest (uhh, is that how you describe it?) when he starts a conversation online even, or when i speak to him in person and he smiles at me or if he is slightly affection. i also feel an insane amount of jealousy if i see him with another girl, either flirting or even just talking to her. :sigh surprisingly i've only gotten a few major crushes that have lasted months.. maybe years. even if i go a very long time without seeing them, the odd time that i will i still have those feelings even if they are not that strong.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

nothing to fear said:


> i'm curious, what would all of you define as a "crush"?
> 
> i rarely get any major crushes. a minor crush for me would be a guy i see occaisonally, who's personality and appearance i like but i wouldn't think about him constantly (e.g. this awkward hot guy at work who i've never spoken to).
> a "major crush" would be a guy who i think about when i'm not around him, he gives me "butterflies" in my chest (uhh, is that how you describe it?) when he starts a conversation online even, or when i speak to him in person and he smiles at me or if he is slightly affection. i also feel an insane amount of jealousy if i see him with another girl, either flirting or even just talking to her. :sigh surprisingly i've only gotten a few major crushes that have lasted months.. maybe years. even if i go a very long time without seeing them, the odd time that i will i still have those feelings even if they are not that strong.


By those standards, I've had a couple major crushes in my life (the more recent being more strong). I was friends with both of them, and it wasn't very fun at times, thinking you're not good enough to ever be more than friends with someone you genuinely like so much.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

Well, I date a lot. As in one guy after another. I think this goes hand in hand with having crushes. I'm always finding a new guy to like and only SOMETIMES we end up dating.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

estelle85 said:


> ..THIS IS SAD CAUSE I GET CRUSHES ON ALMOST EVERYGUY I MEET..( AS LONG AS THEIR NOT TOO UGLY AND TOO FAT..LOOOL)..this just proves how deprieved i was of human beings..err nVM :wtf
> :rofl


Awwww bless


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

deadrun said:


> Well, I date a lot. As in one guy after another. I think this goes hand in hand with having crushes. I'm always finding a new guy to like and only SOMETIMES we end up dating.


Woooow. You must have a lot of gifts.

If you have dated any geeks and they bought you any marvel comics toys you dont want, my address is

ROSS
SCOTLAND
THE UK

Id like a wolverine please. Ta

Thanks


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

Not really. I just have carnal desires all the time now LOL


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

I don't usually get crushes, not usually on "real" people anyway...but I'll always want Jared Leto. :lol :b


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

It's tough (and extremely rare) for me to get a crush on anyone.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

I get them all the time. I had some really intense ones in middle and high school, but I've kinda toned it down since then.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Paxil seems to have eliminated any remaining libido as well. I'm like a neutered cat.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

ardrum said:


> Paxil seems to have eliminated any remaining libido as well. I'm like a neutered cat.


This is so true. I mean, when I was on it, I still wanted a relationship and affection, but the sex thing really couldn't happen...lol.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

I never have crushes on celebrities(whats the point? Those people wouldn't give me the time of day, so screw them)

I do get crushes once in a while on people i meet.
but for now, i have a huge crush on my girlfriend


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