# I have given up on my family



## PinkSkullRose (Aug 26, 2012)

Sorry in advance if this is way too long. This is something that has been on my mind for a while, and really need to let it out.

Ok, about two years ago, in August, my mother became very ill due to her diabetes. It was pretty bad, and it resulted in her getting her right foot amputated. It was very hard on her, me, and my sisters, but things are looking a bit better now. My mother has finally gotten her prosthetic leg, and is learning to walk again. She is now taking care of her health and is doing much better now.

HOWEVER, during this dark time, when all of us as a family, should have stuck together and supported my mother and each other, has resulted in me being VERY disappointed with my sisters and mother. I have tried so hard to make things better. I have tried to make everyone forgive each other, and move on, but to no avail. 

During the time my mom was in the hospital, my sisters began to argue about things, such as stuff in the past, things about my mom, etc, etc. I understand the situation was very stressful for all of us, and we could say things we don't mean when we are not ourselves, but holy ****, could you guys just shut up? Mom is in the damn hospital, fighting for her life! However, things just went downhill when my mom was released from the hospital. 

I am the youngest of four sisters. My third oldest sister and I took care of my mother and things around the house. At that moment I didn't care who was doing what, and who was not doing anything. All I cared about what the well being of my mom. My sister on the other hand, was busy barking and fighting with my sister regarding the situation my mom was in. My sister suffers from anxiety, and because of this, she has this thing when she is SO busy trying to guess what people are thinking and saying of her. Sometimes she will even go as far as to put words in your mouth, and thoughts in your head of what she thinks you think of her. For example, if I don't call her on the phone, she'll think I'm mad at her. If I am not in the house when she arrives, she'll think I'm trying to avoid her. My sister even argued with me, telling me that I didn't visit my mother enough at the hospital. Before my mom fell ill, she was the one working full time. I was working part time. When this happened, I suddenly became the head of the household, and with part time work and a lousy pay, there was no WAY I could afford to take a day off to see my mom. Besides, I work at the hospital she was staying, so before my shift and during my lunch, I'd go see my mom. My mom understood.

With my sisters fighting left and right, I talked to my mom about it, and this was when I started to lose respect for her. I told her that I was concerned on how my sisters were behaving. She just said "If they don't want to talk to each other or me, let them be that way. They can never beat me when it comes to not speaking to me" I couldn't believe, that to this day, she still follows that stupid belief of hers. As far as I can remember in my childhood, my mom always said this when someone in the family didn't agree with what she said, and honestly, it worried me. She saw it as a way of dealing with people, but I saw it as a stupid immature game.

Now here I am, its June, 2013, and my family pretty much is dead. Holidays have come and gone, and there was nothing. I have tried to reach out to everyone, but nothing. Sisters still think someone is mad at them. I've grown sick of this atmosphere my home has gotten. I no longer see them as family, but people I just need to live and interact with. 

Another thing that has been bothering me, is how my mother has managed to distance us from the rest of the family. See, besides my mom and sisters, and an aunt, and a cousin, I honestly don't know anyone else from my family. My father left my mom when I was about four months old. The family outside from my own, I've only seen them in pictures. I thought when my mother fell sick, she would try to contact them. She didn't. Its like my mother had "hid" herself and my sisters from everyone. 

I'm 29 years old, but my sisters see me like I'm 10. After coming up with a plan, I finally broke it to my family that I am finally moving out, and living on my own. They didn't take it well since they see me like I'm too stupid to do anything on my own. I told them that I want to move on in my life. I want to live, I want to experience what the world has to offer. My life can't be put on hold simply because my mother is recovering. I know this sounds harsh, but what if suddenly one day, my mother became sick again? What if she dies? My mother isn't going to be around forever, and I can't depend on everyone forever either. I need to be out there, taking care of MYSELF and live my life.

Well thats my rant. Sorry about the length.


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## Mimi SIB (Jun 18, 2013)

PinkSkullRose said:


> I know this sounds harsh, but what if suddenly one day, my mother became sick again? What if she dies? My mother isn't going to be around forever, and I can't depend on everyone forever either. I need to be out there, taking care of MYSELF and live my life.


Good for you!! You don't know me from the man in the moon but I fully support this idea!

I have long since come to the conclusion that normal families a la the Brady Bunch and the Cleavers are actually the abnormal ones. Each one comes generously supplied with drama, gossip, demands, and unrealistic notions. Yep, there are some extremely loving families out there -- and if anyone finds himself in one, I envy you -- but I think the majority is rife with issues.

I pretty much broke off with mine save for a few light chats now and then, never anything serious. My family did something to me that I am not ready to discuss, but it is something that has left me very bitter for some twenty years now. If I had had the cojones then to STAND UP FOR MYSELF and NOT LET THEM BULLY ME, I would not be in a particular mess that I'm still knee-deep in, to this very day.

So, yeah, do what you think is best for you. You've done your bit. You're not too stupid. If you're looking for someone to give you the green light, I'm shining away atcha.


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## Shadowboy (Jun 12, 2013)

I'm sorry you have to go through this all alone.  Family are those who you love to be with and home is the place where you can feel relaxed and comforted. If they lack it, then leave them and live your life as you like. What matters the most is your feelings.

I think you're neither selfish nor stupid. You're responsible and strong enough that you have managed to come this far on your own, taking care of your mom while your sisters neglected her. I know, the day will come that your sisters will need your help and you'll be able to make them understand they were all wrong.


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