# Group Work...when the professor doesn't pick your partners



## asc (Nov 8, 2011)

My college program has lots of group activities. Last semester, the professor assigned groups to us, this semester, that isn't the case. Maybe because the professors assume we're more comfortable with each other since this is our second semester in the program, idk...but anyway it's stressful to me.

I loved/liked college very much up until this point. Last semester was stressful, but this whole "chose your own group" thing is really pushing me. I'm in a 2 yr healthcare program with the same group of classmates for the next 2 1/2 semesters. The first semester ( last) was where everyone seemed to make quick ( quicker) connections and friendships than me so at this point I feel like an...outcast, almost. Sure, there are several people I like and enjoy talking to, but these same ppl either aren't in the same class as me or already have a friend they are closer to that they end up being partners with.

And, the kid I was partners with today informed me that he may end up dropping the program, so that will leave me as the one person w/out a partner, forcing there to be a group of at least 3 for this one particular class. It's embarrassing. And unfortunately it's a situation where I can't work alone. I just don't want to have to ask ppl to be in their group...esp given the times so far I've done it...it's sooooo awkward.

In my physics lab, the professor let's us get into groups of 3 or 4 ( the same kid I mentioned above was my partner this week) once he's gone there's is like one girl I'd consider asking, but I worry about that rejection bc maybe she'd want to join another group and be that fourth. Then there is a group of 2 guys who I just could not work with ( they seem critical, gossipy, not my type).

If it weren't for this " choosing your partner" thing I'd feel better about being in college. This whole experience reminds me of high school. The whole reason I dropped out of high school was because of social anxiety ( I've regretted it for years)...I won't drop out of college, I just won't. But, these feeling I have are taking me back to how I felt in high school.

I know this was long....I needed to talk to someone/this screen though.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Yeah these situations are tough. Most of the time teachers/professors just assigned me to a group. Just pick the friendliest person, someone you think won't reject you. That is what I did when teachers/professors wouldn't help out. Most of the friendly looking people said yes. Sorry its making you feel awful, hang in there.


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## Fredderika (Mar 27, 2014)

It would be so much easier if the professors didn't just assume everybody is comfortable with finding themselves a group. I hate it when that happens. My only strategy is to wait for someone to ask me, which isn't a good strategy. Last semester in one of my classes I was one of the last two students without a group. The groups were supposed to be of three or four, but ours was two by default.


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## chatsnaps (Jan 21, 2016)

I know exactly how you feel. I thought that university would leave group projects behind in highschool, but boy was I ever wrong. First year didn't seem to have any, so I didn't really bother making friends, I was there for education. Now it's second year and the group projects are piling up. And of course people who've become friends always form groups. I have one prof who said if you want to work with friends, let me know and I'll put you in a group together, if not I will form groups myself, and what a great idea that is. You can try waiting until somebody asks you, or you can try going up to the professor and saying " hey, I haven't been able to form a group, do you know if any group needs an extra person?" or something like that. I'm in the same situation now, tomorrow morning in class I'll have to go up to someone and ask to be in their group. There's no avoiding it, something that has to be done. Just take a deep breath and ask someone, maybe ask the person you sit next to. There must be someone else who doesn't have a group too, don't feel like you're the only one


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## hazelsmiles123 (Mar 27, 2016)

group labs are the worst! People are already in their little cliques so I always have trouble finding a group  I hate it, also considered dropping out cause of that, you're not alone :T


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

College was worse for me than high school. In fact, people were nicer in high school and not in college. Funny because people experience the opposite, but not me. Anyway...I think it's great that your professor let's you choose your partners. I was stuck with the same guy for another semester. Professor assigned partners. He did not look happy to be with me again...but that's because I was bossy to him. I'm a perfectionist.


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