# How young would your ideal partner be?



## Victor88 (Feb 3, 2015)

Let's be honest guys, if you are in your mid 20s and have not been in a serious relationship yet (one night stands and prostitutes don't mean anything), _Removed_

Now if you could get together with a 16 year girl, who is more likely to be inexperienced than a 20-something, would you go for it (provided it is legal in your country/state)?

Obviously 20-somethings would rather choose any of the normal 200 guys hitting on them on Tinder, rather than going through the emotional weight and misunderstandings of a first relationship with a SA guy.

On the other hand, when you have work and college stuff to do, you have so little in common with a school girl. And many of them seem to be not mature enough emotionally yet - you know, with all that peer pressure and everything. Also I doubt you can even have a serious relationship if you had to hide from her parents who would accuse you of being a pedophile, no possibility to move together until she's 18 and all the other age related hardships.

_Staff Edit_


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## anomnomnom (May 28, 2013)

Well I'm a bit past mid 20's

And I've had a couple of limited relationships

16 is technically legal here..I believe

not sure about "Ideal" but 19/20 would probably be as low as I'd go personally, probably still be more experienced than me anyway! 

16 is too low for me I feel, a 17 year old took quite a bit of interest in me when I was 25/26 at my old job and although she was sweet and everything I found it too awkward to take it further than texting


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## ChickenMcNuggets (Sep 17, 2014)

I'd want someone who was my age or maybe a few years older, someone who'd 'show me the ropes' between the sheets and in terms of relationships, as it were. 

I was chatting to an 18-year old on a dating site once who WOULD have been perfect, but I couldn't really relate to her that well - she was talking about games, college etc... things that I'd moved on from about five years earlier.


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## Victor88 (Feb 3, 2015)

ChickenMcNuggets said:


> I'd want someone who was my age or maybe a few years older, someone who'd 'show me the ropes' between the sheets and in terms of relationships, as it were.
> 
> I was chatting to an 18-year old on a dating site once who WOULD have been perfect, but I couldn't really relate to her that well - she was talking about games, college etc... things that I'd moved on from about five years earlier.


I have been talking to an 18 year old on skype for the last month. We never actually discussed school or college and the other stuff one can talk about (your personal history, things you like or hate, politics etc.) seemed to be enough for now. But I too get the feeling that now we are reaching the point where none of us can contribute to a conversation because of different social circles.

I think the problem I made was not asking her out soon enough. Once you get to the point where you watch movies, eat a home-cooked meal or play some console together, you naturally have more stuff to talk about, but an invitation to one's house means basically intercourse and girls who don't want to look like sl*ts try to delay that point for a while. now I have at least a few weeks of real life dates ahead of me (if I am lucky) and don't have a clue what to talk about.


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## yodogsup (Nov 25, 2014)

Why 18 of course 

i hope i can get there again


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## Blue Scout (Feb 5, 2015)

I would only want to be in a serious relationship with one person and she's 17.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

23


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## Bored Alien (Feb 5, 2015)

I'd have been better off in ancient times when after you were finished being trained as a man your last test was to stalk and wrestle a woman into submission thereby winning yourself a strong bride and if you fail no loss cause they just toss you off a cliff.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

19-23. Ideally the same age as me. I barely have anything to talk about as it is. An age gap would make it even worse.


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## feverfew (Jan 11, 2012)

I dunno, I think I would prefer somebody older. They generally seem less shallow and more relationship oriented. Maybe they'd like the idea of teaching me stuff too :whip


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## Victor88 (Feb 3, 2015)

feverfew said:


> I dunno, I think I would prefer somebody older. They generally seem less shallow and more relationship oriented. Maybe they'd like the idea of teaching me stuff too :whip


Femdom is an entirely male fetish. There are almost no women who enjoy is sincerely (and not for money). The few exceptions have mostly gender issues and are lesbian.

I'm also not sure about older women being less shallow. From my experience a young girl might be forgiving if you have no car or whatever, but when you try to date someone older, first thing she does is go through a checklist of qualities a guy has to have, because her biological clock is ticking and she doesnt have time for her partner to make something out of himself first.


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## forgetmylife (Oct 1, 2011)

still a child mentally? that's hideous..

life isn't just about the pursuit of reproduction and a soulmate

_Staff Edit_


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## Victor88 (Feb 3, 2015)

forgetmylife said:


> still a child mentally? that's hideous...
> 
> life isn't just about the pursuit of reproduction and a soulmate


I'm not gonna report you for insults because I believe in free speech.

But you should know any sort of goal directed at mankind is bound to fail because the chances of contributing to anything ACTUALLY relevant and getting praise for that are really small.

Goals aimed at your career in general are not better either as you will get older, at some point lose your job, with another 20-30 years of retirement left to do nothing and with no one there to be with you.

But those are just the reasons why your alternative is bull****. The reason why I said "mental child" is because you don't know how to handle responsibilities. You learn that only by taking care of others, be it your sick parents, your girlfriend, your baby children or whatever. You may found a company and employ 10.000 people, but you will never care for them and your life will stay empty with no real purpose or dedication. As Stalin said, one man's death is a tragedy, the death of a million is a number.

_Staff Edit_


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## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

forgetmylife said:


> still a child mentally? that's hideous...


Yeah I am disgusted by this thread. The pedophilic obsession with youth and inexperience is something to seek help for, not act on.


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## Ender (Aug 5, 2012)

Well I'm around 40 and would prefer someone my age thinking we would have more in common. However I would being willing to settle for two women who are 20.


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## PaulWani (Feb 6, 2015)

I do not care as much about age as experience in relationships. Ideally, I'd prefer a partner with as much experience is I have, which somewhere between zero and nonexistent..

And lol @ Mr Ender. Simple addition, yet so much joy.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

Victor88 said:


> Femdom is an entirely male fetish. There are almost no women who enjoy is sincerely (and not for money).


Incorrect.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

at least 18.


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## forgetmylife (Oct 1, 2011)

Victor88 said:


> I'm not gonna report you for insults because I believe in free speech.
> 
> But you should know any sort of goal directed at mankind is bound to fail because the chances of contributing to anything ACTUALLY relevant and getting praise for that are really small.
> 
> ...


I can't even begin to comment on your first paragraph because of how vague and poorly worded it is... I'd say at least half, if not most, of "major breakthroughs" are orchestrated by teams of people, not by individuals my friend. You need to specify what a "goal directed at mankind" is and please tell me again what's "actually relevant" rofl

Intrinsic value/motivation has been shown time and time again to be much more important psychologically speaking than extrinsic, and what it is that you value is highly subjective.

Not everyone needs to be in a relationship to be happy and content with themselves or their lives.

Being responsible has nothing to do with taking care of other people, it can literally be anything and is based solely off of discipline...


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## Victor88 (Feb 3, 2015)

forgetmylife said:


> I can't even begin to comment on your first paragraph because of how vague and poorly worded it is... I'd say at least half, if not most, of "major breakthroughs" are orchestrated by teams of people, not by individuals my friend. You need to specify what a "goal directed at mankind" is and please tell me again what's "actually relevant" rofl
> 
> Intrinsic value/motivation has been shown time and time again to be much more important psychologically speaking than extrinsic, and what it is that you value is highly subjective.
> 
> ...


Oh, please. You are 21 years old. Lots of people still think around 20 how they could move mountains if they wanted. But the truth is, placing those subjective values in something like a career will most likely break you. Working environments are very unfair and unrewarding and you too will get to learn your own limits, especially when working in a team (and you are absolutely right that nothing of importance these days can be done by an individual).

Now having a loving wife and kids is something that will last forever. If you find the right one, that is.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

TicklemeRingo said:


> Incorrect.


Seconded.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

@Victor88 Did you make this thread because you're interested in 16 year old girls, and you wanted to see if any other guys felt the same way? I think a lot of guys are attracted to girls that age, but most wouldn't act on it unless they're just looking for sex and it's legal where they live.


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## yodogsup (Nov 25, 2014)

Alot of 16 year old girls have quite a bit of experience too believe it or not.
hooking up is very common these days.


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## Victor88 (Feb 3, 2015)

mezzoforte said:


> @*Victor88* Did you make this thread because you're interested in 16 year old girls, and you wanted to see if any other guys felt the same way? I think a lot of guys are attracted to girls that age, but most wouldn't act on it unless they're just looking for sex and it's legal where they live.


Yeah, for most men young girls are like trophies - just sex and no dating. But I specifically asked about having a relationship with them, because even if they are more experienced than a SA guy, they still have less experience than a 25 year old woman.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Victor88 said:


> Yeah, for most men young girls are like trophies - just sex and no dating. But I specifically asked about having a relationship with them, because even if they are more experienced than a SA guy, they still have less experience than a 25 year old woman.


Well I dated a guy from here who was 22 when I was 16, but I feel like even that's not common. Most of the time, guys will get criticized for the age gap, even if they do care about each other. Plus, most girls that age don't really want to commit, even if they think they do. Relationships at that age tend to last for a few months maybe...of course there are some exceptions. I completely understand your desire to date someone who is inexperienced like you so that you can grow together (I feel the same way), but maybe people who have some experience aren't so bad. :b


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

The idea age for women is 36 - two 18 year olds.


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## Victor88 (Feb 3, 2015)

mezzoforte said:


> but maybe people who have some experience aren't so bad. :b


Of course they aren't. But most women expect men to earn more and be more experienced than they are, so they would not take anyone who doesnt meet these criteria. There is a reason why guys, when being asked, triple the number of girls they slept with, not only when bragging to their buddies, but also when being asked by girls.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Is Vic really from Hamburg. If it's Germany I looked this up: "The age of consent in Germany is *14*, as long as a person over the age of 21 does not exploit a 14-15 year-old person's lack of capacity for sexual self-determination, in which case a conviction of an individual over the age of 21 requires a complaint from the younger individual; being over 21 and engaging in sexual relations with a minor of that age does not constitute an offense in and of itself. Otherwise the age of consent is 14, although provisions protecting minors against abuse apply until the age of 18 (under Section 182(1), it is illegal to engage in sexual activity with a person under 18 "by taking advantage of an exploitative situation."

So 16 is a bit old by their standards.


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## a degree of freedom (Sep 28, 2011)

Ideally we'd have been born the same day! Anyway, I think you guys like young girls until you try to have a relationship with one. If you have a child mentality it just means you aren't used to responsibilities and independence, and possibly you are immature and obsessed with your level of sexual experience. After all, who couldn't convince themselves they were a child by thinking that way habitually?


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## Bored Alien (Feb 5, 2015)

mezzoforte said:


> Well I dated a guy from here who was 22 when I was 16, but I feel like even that's not common. Most of the time, guys will get criticized for the age gap, even if they do care about each other. Plus, most girls that age don't really want to commit, even if they think they do. Relationships at that age tend to last for a few months maybe...of course there are some exceptions. I completely understand your desire to date someone who is inexperienced like you so that you can grow together (I feel the same way), but maybe people who have some experience aren't so bad. :b


Except theyre very likely to judge you and treat you like **** for being inexperienced, like certain posters on this forum even obviously hold such a view. Though the thing is you can't really grow together with someone. I missed out. No making up ffor it, there'll never be anyone that'll understand or be compatible.


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## Victor88 (Feb 3, 2015)

scarpia said:


> Is Vic really from Hamburg. If it's Germany I looked this up: "The age of consent in Germany is *14*, as long as a person over the age of 21 does not exploit a 14-15 year-old person's lack of capacity for sexual self-determination, in which case a conviction of an individual over the age of 21 requires a complaint from the younger individual; being over 21 and engaging in sexual relations with a minor of that age does not constitute an offense in and of itself. Otherwise the age of consent is 14, although provisions protecting minors against abuse apply until the age of 18 (under Section 182(1), it is illegal to engage in sexual activity with a person under 18 "by taking advantage of an exploitative situation."
> 
> So 16 is a bit old by their standards.


Yeah, man. I still remember guys from my class making fun of me about being a virgin at 16. Also that spinning bottle and kiss game at class trip in seventh grade.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Victor88 said:


> Yeah, man. I still remember guys from my class making fun of me about being a virgin at 16. Also that spinning bottle and kiss game on class trip in seventh grade.


Couldn't you just lie and say you weren't a virgin? I remember guys in the 7th grade saying they weren't virgins. Really. Guys lie about that all the time.


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## Victor88 (Feb 3, 2015)

scarpia said:


> Couldn't you just lie and say you weren't a virgin? I remember guys in the 7th grade saying they weren't virgins. Really. Guys lie about that all the time.


The guy who asked me that literally looked like David by Michelangelo (and his name was David) with curly hair and everything, being captain of the soccer team and having best grades and a car his parents bought him and I knew he dated 2 specific girls from our year.

ALso I didn't tell them anything; I told them to leave me alone. But honestly, I can sense myself when a person is a virgin. It is not a hard thing to do.


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## a degree of freedom (Sep 28, 2011)

Bored Alien said:


> Except theyre very likely to judge you and treat you like **** for being inexperienced, like certain posters on this forum even obviously hold such a view. Though the thing is you can't really grow together with someone. I missed out. No making up ffor it, there'll never be anyone that'll understand or be compatible.


What is this expectation that no one will have patience with you? As though people don't make investments when they see something they like that might be worth a little work. I'd argue it would be someone with experience who would be more likely to have patience with you and be better at interpreting your cautions and fears as personal matters and not indications that they are doing something wrong themselves so that misunderstandings are less likely and you will feel more comfortable as a result.

And this is a strange notion of growing together with someone. As though two experienced partners find no ground to grow together about, or that this is somehow less important or meaningful for them.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Victor88 said:


> But honestly, I can sense myself when a person is a virgin. It is not a hard thing to do.


That's ridiculous.


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## Victor88 (Feb 3, 2015)

senkora said:


> What is this expectation that no one will have patience with you? I'd argue it would be someone with experience who would be more likely to have patience with you and be better at interpreting your cautions and fears as personal matters and not indications that they are doing something wrong themselves so that misunderstandings are less likely and you will feel more comfortable as a result.
> 
> And this is a strange notion of growing together with someone. As though two experienced partners find no ground to grow together about, or that this is somehow less important or meaningful for them.


Sounds cute in theory, but the real world looks like this: you have a dating market with women being the choosers and men being the beggers. Instead of going through months of introduction how to function in a relationship, they just pick any of the 200 confident guys hitting on them. Months of trouble have been saved by two mouseclicks.

Also they just have a natural instinct to reproduce with and being protected by an alpha male as opposed to an insecure loser. When it comes to instincts, rational planning is meaningless.


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## The Sleeping Dragon (Sep 29, 2011)

Not everybody matures at the same pace. So it is different with each and every person. But if I had to pick a number I guess starting from 20? Nice round number. But like I said I wouldn't care if I met somebody that is 19 and we just connect really well. 

If it's two adults who am I to comment on other peoples relationships? Not my business.


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## yodogsup (Nov 25, 2014)

Anyone with sense. Man I wish I could've got that 28 year old now. So inexperienced for her age, perfect...
Had to tell her I was a virgin tho. No more replies from her number that she gave me now


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## hulkamaniak (Mar 21, 2008)

Would rather closer to my own age of 27, to be fair though the only girls I have had talk to me (very few) from dating sites have been 18-20, any closer to my age quickly question the fact that I live at home with parents and don't work, 18-20 doesn't seem to care as bad, whatever the case I am basically screwed.


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## yodogsup (Nov 25, 2014)

Exactly. Can only go for the dumb young ****s


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## GGTFM (Oct 7, 2014)

I'm 17 she's 15 <3


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## Cyclonic (Oct 25, 2012)

21 to mid-30s... Unfortunately due to age restriction laws here, being younger than 21 can limit the choices when going out.

That said I'd prefer someone my own age as they are easier to relate to... Recent college graduate, getting started in a career, independent, mostly predictable schedule.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Your last paragraph basically negates your first.



Victor88 said:


> *Femdom is an entirely male fetish. There are almost no women who enjoy is sincerely (and not for money). The few exceptions have mostly gender issues and are lesbian. *
> 
> I'm also not sure about older women being less shallow. From my experience a young girl might be forgiving if you have no car or whatever, but when you try to date someone older, first thing she does is go through a checklist of qualities a guy has to have, because her biological clock is ticking and she doesnt have time for her partner to make something out of himself first.


_Staff Edit_


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

Victor88 said:


> Let's be honest guys, if you are in your mid 20s and have not been in a serious relationship yet (one night stands and prostitutes don't mean anything), _Removed_


No, you really are not! You are just another grown up that didn't insert his penis into a vagina. Big deal.

To answer the question, not younger than 16 but not older than 16, by much, either. :b


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## Victor88 (Feb 3, 2015)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Your last paragraph basically negates your first.
> You make a lot of ridiculous posts, don't you?


A demanding woman is not the same as a dominant woman. Many high class women who can pick their toyboys as they like, would still prefer to be dominated by them in privacy because of their daddy issues.

_Staff Edit_


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## Buckyx (Nov 1, 2014)

I am child in a lot of aspects but thats not cause Ive never been in a serious relationship, how did you come to that conclusion?

to answer your initial question: 17-2X, as long as she doesnt look much older or grown up lol

_Staff Edit_


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Victor88 said:


> A demanding woman is not the same as a dominant woman. Many high class women who can pick their toyboys as they like, would still prefer to be dominated by them in privacy because of their daddy issues.


Wtf are you going on about now? I knew what you meant. And I just pointed out how dumb it was for you to suggest that sexually dominant women all have gender issues or are lesbians, nor is it an entirely male fetish.

_Staff Edit_


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

Legal


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## Dre12 (Jul 25, 2014)

I am sexually attracted to more physically developed women. The teen look does nothing for me, nor do I want a relationship with someone with a vastly different emotional maturity level to me. I would date 21 up, though they would need to be a more mature 21.


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## Victor88 (Feb 3, 2015)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Wtf are you going on about now? I knew what you meant. And I just pointed out how dumb it was for you to suggest that sexually dominant women all have gender issues or are lesbians, nor is it an entirely male fetish


I said almost entirely. I talked to a bunch of femdom fetishists online a while ago and they told me the scene is full of fake, greedy dominas and those who take it seriously are usually older (40s plus) or crazy in some way.



Dre12 said:


> I am sexually attracted to more physically developed women. The teen look does nothing for me, nor do I want a relationship with someone with a vastly different emotional maturity level to me. I would date 21 up, though they would need to be a more mature 21.


yeah, my problem is that I see myself as immature, somewhere around 16. physically I am attracted to girls my age too.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Victor88 said:


> I said almost entirely. I talked to a bunch of femdom fetishists online a while ago and they told me the scene is full of fake, greedy dominas and those who take it seriously are usually older (40s plus) or crazy in some way.


No... You didn't. You said 'entirely' not 'almost entirely'

And that doesn't sound like scientific research to me.


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## Victor88 (Feb 3, 2015)

Persephone The Dread said:


> No... You didn't. You said 'entirely' not 'almost entirely'
> 
> And that doesn't sound like scientific research to me.


Ok, you can add the "almost" if you like, exceptions prove the rule. And you know very well that surveys and other scientific methods are very easily twistable when it comes to sociology. The liberal hippie professor just screams "correlation does not equal causation" whenever confronted with an inconvenient truth. I trust opinions of individuals more.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Victor88 said:


> Ok, you can add the "almost" if you like, exceptions prove the rule. And you know very well that surveys and other scientific methods are very easily twistable when it comes to sociology. The liberal hippie professor just screams "correlation does not equal causation" whenever confronted with an inconvenient truth. I trust opinions of individuals more.


Nothing's perfect, but certainly preferable over 'I talked to a couple of people online and that's it.'


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## Victor88 (Feb 3, 2015)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Nothing's perfect, but certainly preferable over 'I talked to a couple of people online and that's it.'


Well, I am sorry, but I just find the idea of an average woman, being smaller, more fragile and less aggressive than an average male, to dominate a guy physically, ridiculous. Women dominate guys by not going out with them, not by leather and whip roleplay.
I don't think human females have evolved into their biological role along with a desire for sexual dominance. And no, I cannot prove hat hypotheses.


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## feverfew (Jan 11, 2012)

Victor88 said:


> Femdom is an entirely male fetish. There are almost no women who enjoy is sincerely (and not for money). The few exceptions have mostly gender issues and are lesbian.


I don't think that is true, but the whip emoticon was just a joke. Similar to saying "rawr" after talking about sex. It had nothing to do with femdom 

[EDIT] I see this went off on a whole tangent that I didn't mean to imply...



> I'm also not sure about older women being less shallow. From my experience a young girl might be forgiving if you have no car or whatever, but when you try to date someone older, first thing she does is go through a checklist of qualities a guy has to have, because her biological clock is ticking and she doesnt have time for her partner to make something out of himself first.


Eh, I don't know. That is generalizing a large swath of the population. Even younger women could potentially do the same thing. You asked how young my ideal partner would be, so that is my opinion.


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## Kazumichan (Oct 25, 2014)

I've never understood older guys' obsessions with barely legal girls. 16 is really pushing it.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

Kazumichan said:


> I've never understood older guys' obsessions with barely legal girls. 16 is really pushing it.


My girlfriend was 16 last year. We held hands. The horror.

Anyway, younger girls are more attractive because they're more fit for reproduction. As the saying goes old enough to bleed *ahem* ...

In any case, that's why 15-17 is the optimal age.


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## Kazumichan (Oct 25, 2014)

Sacrieur said:


> My girlfriend was 16 last year. We held hands. The horror.
> 
> Anyway, younger girls are more attractive because they're more fit for reproduction. As the saying goes old enough to bleed *ahem* ...
> 
> In any case, that's why 15-17 is the optimal age.


Ew.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

Kazumichan said:


> Ew.


She just turned eleven when I was graduating from high school.


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## a degree of freedom (Sep 28, 2011)

Victor88 said:


> Sounds cute in theory, but the real world looks like this: you have a dating market with women being the choosers and men being the beggers. Instead of going through months of introduction how to function in a relationship, they just pick any of the 200 confident guys hitting on them. Months of trouble have been saved by two mouseclicks.
> 
> Also they just have a natural instinct to reproduce with and being protected by an alpha male as opposed to an insecure loser. When it comes to instincts, rational planning is meaningless.


Hehe, the "cute" part is the worry about how to function in a relationship. ^^

I do get what you're saying. It's just kinda ... selling yourself short. A little over-harsh. There is surely truth there but kind of built up to scare and seem more than it is. And even if it's accurate, there are some things that might be true and other things you tell yourself, "first because it is necessary and second because it is correct." Don't take that as conceding a whole lot though. I think of you discount online dating and meet people in person you can shine through and ... well, don't under-estimate what can be accomplished if you are determined. Now, its hard to be determined if you're not sure what you want and hard to know what you want without experience and I don't have a solution there, but, I think a positive outlook is something you can work backward from once you assume it is legitimate instead of asking whether it is or not.


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## gloomy (Oct 21, 2014)

I'm 17 ... so 15-19


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

20-40


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## forgetmylife (Oct 1, 2011)

Victor88 said:


> Oh, please. You are 21 years old. Lots of people still think around 20 how they could move mountains if they wanted. But the truth is, placing those subjective values in something like a career will most likely break you. Working environments are very unfair and unrewarding and you too will get to learn your own limits, especially when working in a team (and you are absolutely right that nothing of importance these days can be done by an individual).
> 
> Now having a loving wife and kids is something that will last forever. If you find the right one, that is.


Now you're resorting to belittling me just because/based upon my age? lol
Well, if that makes you feel better...

If anything, you're the one claiming to have life all figured out. For instance, claiming that responsibility is only learned through "taking care" of others and that having a wife and kids is somehow the key to happiness.

You seem a tad bit closed-minded and I think you're still having a hard time grasping the fact that different things bring happiness to different people. Not everyone wants to get married and some people are completely content without having kids. Some people prefer open-relationships etc.


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