# My therapist wrote me a letter.



## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

Actually, she wrote me two.

A while ago, I posted this thread questioning whether I should get back in touch with this therapist - to cut a long story short, I saw her from December/January to around May but felt the sessions were very unstructured and not helpful enough to be worth the cost. And like I said in the thread:



> Eventually, in May, I used my A-Level exams as an excuse for a 'break', with the intention of going back. The therapist asked me to call her to arrange another session when I felt like it. Thanks to my SA, I never did. A while later she sent me a letter asking me to get in touch through email. Again, thanks to my SA, I never did. I couldn't bring myself to do it.


The first letter she wrote me was on the 10th of May. She wrote:

_"When we last met, you were undecided about our next appointment, and said that you would let me know what you wanted to do. I wonder if you have been able to make a decision?
Perhaps you would let me know - my email address is....
I look forward to hearing from you. Best wishes..."

_I feel unhappy about the fact that I never wrote back to her - it was very discourteous - but I just couldn't do it. I just added the letter to the bottom of the pile of other unanswered correspondence on my dresser (including letters from banks - oh, god, my life is a mess) and tried to forget that I had ever received it.

Then on the 15th of August - so, two weeks ago - she wrote to me again:

_"I thought_ _I would just write to you to say that I hope everything is going well for you. As I'm sure you know, I received a letter from your mother some weeks ago saying that you no longer wanted to come for sessions at the present, which, of course, is fine. _[Actually, I didn't know this; I had the intention of going back at that time, but my parents were very passive-aggressive about my going to therapy while I was still attending sessions, so it doesn't surprise me that this happened behind my back.]
_Should you want to come back at any point, you know where I am, so do feel free to contact me. With all good wishes for the future..."

_When I received this letter, I was surprised and touched. It seems sincere to me and - terrible as it sounds - I really didn't expect that she would give a **** about me either way after she stopped being paid to. It sounds like she is genuinely concerned about my wellbeing, and I really feel I should write back to her.

But I have no idea what to say.

I always feel like I should tell people good news rather than bad news, because surely that's what they want to hear - but all I can truthfully tell her is that, in the last month, I've barely left the house. I've been very anxious and depressed. For several months I've been willing myself to make an NHS appointment, but I still haven't done it. Tomorrow will be the first time I've seen any of my friends since June. I haven't even started searching for a job.

I'm ashamed to admit that even here on SAS - I can't write to her and tell her something so pathetic. But nor can I lie. I don't know what to do.

Should I write back at all?


----------



## breaks0 (Aug 1, 2012)

Why not, if you want to? She's a therapist and has repeatedly tried to contact you, despite the bs it SOUNDS like your parents may've been pulling behind your back. My point is, if she's doing her job properly (and it sounds in fact like she's going well beyond the call of duty, unless that's different in the UK from the States), she's the last person you need to or should feel anxious about. Her job is to be a resource person to help you conquer/learn to live with your SAD. And besides, you've had a ****ty summer, yes? So you're particularly hurt, vulnerable or whatever sad, hurt and/or embarassed feelings you're going through right now. If you wanna continue working w/her, I'd think it's a no brainer that you get back to it, maybe the sooner the better. Potentially, this can help you to work through your issues and move on to a happier life sooner than later. Good luck!


----------



## dustin2012 (Aug 27, 2012)

lisbeth said:


> Actually, she wrote me two.
> 
> A while ago, I posted this thread questioning whether I should get back in touch with this therapist - to cut a long story short, I saw her from December/January to around May but felt the sessions were very unstructured and not helpful enough to be worth the cost. And like I said in the thread:
> 
> ...


You should call her I think and maybe schedule an appointment? Or just talk to her. She seems like she cares even when she's not being paid to care, which to me is the sign of a great therapist. Maybe her methods weren't working for you... if you tell her that and why you feel they aren't working for you maybe she can change the way she does her sessions with you.


----------



## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

Thing is, she's pretty expensive. That's why I'm trying out the NHS route now.

Is it OK for me to write to her and not schedule another appointment?


----------



## sickofshyness (Oct 18, 2011)

lisbeth said:


> Thing is, she's pretty expensive. That's why I'm trying out the NHS route now.
> 
> Is it OK for me to write to her and not schedule another appointment?


I would definately write or email her and let her know that you are going to try NHS because you feel it was costing your parents too much.

I would also keep her in mind if it doesn't work with the NHS because it sounds like you can be honest with her and tell her what you need in the sessions and she would do her best to help you. Good luck .


----------



## Wanna be drama queen (May 2, 2011)

Wow she sounds like a great therapist, I would love to have one care about me as much as that, mine doesnt even know how to pronounce my name even though she has heard it at least 5 times! I definitely think you should reply to her if you havent already and I am sure she will understand that you cannot afford it any more. It sounds to me like she is just concerned over your well being


----------



## upndownboi (Oct 7, 2010)

It probably varies a lot but where I am NHS psychodynamic therapy has a 2 year waiting list :/


----------

