# Finally got a date



## luciano (Jun 3, 2004)

sorta... I've never been out on a date, and I just asked this girl out that I had been talking to online for the past 2 weeks. Its only coffee but I'm still proud of myself. Hopefully this is a turning point. The big day is thursday. Any advice is welcome.


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## Beryl (Jan 9, 2007)

Congrats.

But I can't give any advice cuz i havent gotten as far as you. You should check out dating advice sites such as http://www.sosuave.net


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Tell us how it goes

and what you did to make it a romantic date and not just some random get-together.

Do you live in the GTA by any chance?


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## luciano (Jun 3, 2004)

I live about 2 hrs away. I'm up in Kingston


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## luciano (Jun 3, 2004)

vicente said:


> Tell us how it goes
> 
> and what you did to make it a romantic date and not just some random get-together.
> 
> Do you live in the GTA by any chance?


**UPDATE**
She had to cancel tonight as she wasn't feeling well and asked to reschedule. I guess I will have to save the feeling of accomplishment for another day


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

That kinda sucks luciano,
I hope the rescheduling happens.

Till then best wishes,
Gerard


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

So, when is the new date?


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## luciano (Jun 3, 2004)

She has flaked on me. I asked if she would like to reschedule and she said yeah, she has all this free time. I ask how such and such a day and time works for her a few days ago and havn't heard anything. I guess she just wasn't really interested. I don't know why I bother to try. Sorry I am just a little down that it didn't work out. I saw it as a milestone for myself, a show of progress.


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

Hey luciano, that really sucks. I'm really sorry. It must have been really disappointing I bet. I hope you have other chances though. I don't know if you want to take it or not, but I suggest trying to work on oneself, whether talents, social skills, etc to attract a potential partner. Just a suggestion. 

Anyway, I hope you are doing well though despite what happened.

Best wishes,
Gerard


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

I honestly have no idea how people are supposed to "act" on a "date." I have never understood the difference between meeting someone to do something and a date. I'm just myself in any and all social situations (as best as I can be) rather than striving for anything else. If someone doesn't like me for who I am, that's a better result than someone liking me for acting a different way than I can maintain over time. They're going to find out who I am eventually, so I might as well be myself right away. This helps me since I'm more comfortable too. I'd be a lot more nervous if I tried to act a certain way.

Tough luck though, luciano. I've had similar things happen to me with girls even when I'm NOT INTERESTED IN THEM!! :lol

I think a lot of girls assume that by asking them if they want to hang out, a guy is automatically interested in them romantically/sexually. This is annoying, since I often just want to hang out for nothing other than conversation/company.


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## leavemealone158 (Nov 23, 2007)

congrates! :banana I'm not really an expert, but try to open up and be youself.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

ardrum said:


> I honestly have no idea how people are supposed to "act" on a "date." I have never understood the difference between meeting someone to do something and a date.


Me neither :cry This summer I asked for a woman's phone number for the first time. We went out (walked around Long Beach for a street food festival) but it didn't feel any different from any other outing I've had with someone I just met. I had no idea how to make it into a "date".



ardrum said:


> I'm just myself in any and all social situations (as best as I can be) rather than striving for anything else. If someone doesn't like me for who I am, that's a better result than someone liking me for acting a different way than I can maintain over time. They're going to find out who I am eventually, so I might as well be myself right away. This helps me since I'm more comfortable too. I'd be a lot more nervous if I tried to act a certain way.


I want to act myself but no one likes me for who I am so maybe if I fake myself just a little then I'll have some friends to go out with and talk about stuff with rather than being alone.



ardrum said:


> Tough luck though, luciano. I've had similar things happen to me with girls even when I'm NOT INTERESTED IN THEM!! :lol
> 
> I think a lot of girls assume that by asking them if they want to hang out, a guy is automatically interested in them romantically/sexually. This is annoying, since I often just want to hang out for nothing other than conversation/company.


I HATE THAT! That happened to me with someone from this board (who shall remain nameless). Thanks for throwing me into the potential stalker/rapist/killer pile when I just wanted to have someone to talk to. That's always been one of my paranoias -- when I talk to women I try to seem less interested than I actually am in order that they don't think I like them. Unfortunately it makes me appear aloof so they don't become my friend anyway. But better to be brushed off as aloof than as a potential stalker/rapist/killer, isn't it?


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

I think a "date" is maybe just two people hanging out who are attracted to each other in a romantic/sexual way. It also seems to require there to be food/beverages involved. Maybe.

See, I don't enjoy myself if I try to be anything other than myself. I don't even know how to act any other way, really. If anything, I can restrain my quirky personality at will, but I don't know how to act differently. I just have a metaphorical dial that allows me to determine how much of myself I expose. The only alternative is being generic though rather than some sort of alternative personality. This is why I'd rather just be myself and keep my restraint at a minimum. So long as SOME people like this quirkiness, then it's fine.

Yeah, I still find it a bit difficult to try to communicate (indirectly of course, :lol) to females that I'm not interested in them sexually. Outright saying such a thing is monumentally disturbing, and there is no obvious way to suggest that you're after nothing but platonic communication.


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