# Do I REALLY need to go to therapy?



## Ltsax (May 28, 2012)

I believe that I might have a form of mild social anxiety. When I went to the free campus counseling at my university (kind of on a whim), I expected to just talk and leave, but the on-call counselor scheduled weekly appointments for me. I assume this means that he believes that I need semi-serious intervention (I'm really not sure). Here are my symptoms:
- only participate in class if my grade will suffer if I don't
- when I speak in class, I can feel my heart in my chest
- I would rather stay at home and study than hang out with my friends most of the time (but I still feel very lonely)
- I feel that people are always looking at me and judging me/ think that I am unattractive 
- Fear that the only think I have going for me is my academics, and without that, I have no other talents
- I think about eye contact, body language and other elements too much to really enjoy conversations
- I won't say something unless I am absolutely sure I am right because I fear looking stupid
- I have a speech disfluency (kind of like stuttering except for there are pauses in my speech) which causes/adds to my social anxiety.

I know that was a long list (but there is probably more things that I just can't think of right now). Do you believe this warrants an intervention? Does this sound like social anxiety? After leaving my initial appointment, I have considered cancelling my next one because the anticipation is making me nervous.


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

It is up to you really - if your anxiety causes you problems that you want to deal with then sure why not, but if you are fine with how they are going why bother.

The other things I get from this is do you feel that your anxiety is not bad enough that it does not derisive help?


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## Temujin (Sep 3, 2012)

Go for it, what's the worst that can happen? The councillor's a professional, they didn't just ask for you to come back because they flipped a coin.


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## Ltsax (May 28, 2012)

Temujin said:


> Go for it, what's the worst that can happen? The councillor's a professional, they didn't just ask for you to come back because they flipped a coin.


I should add that I can function socially, but my stuttering has caused me to view hanging out with friends and socializing as a chore/something I only do so I won't be lonely. I talk to my friends everyday and force myself to raise my hand in class (to get a participation grade) but I feel like I only do the bare minimum not to be considered an outcast. Because a therapist can't do anything for my stuttering (and I am beyond speech therapy), can a therapist really help me?


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## Ltsax (May 28, 2012)

Janniffy said:


> The other things I get from this is do you feel that your anxiety is not bad enough that it does not derisive help?


I did some research on Social Anxiety as it seems a lot more extreme than what I go through. That is why I was surprised when my therapist recommended weekly counseling (which I assumed was only for more serious cases than myself).


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## sickofshyness (Oct 18, 2011)

Yes, a therapist can help you. Go for it-I wish I had gone for it when I was in college and _thought _I wasn't _that _bad. Good luck.


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## Temujin (Sep 3, 2012)

Ltsax said:


> I should add that I can function socially, but my stuttering has caused me to view hanging out with friends and socializing as a chore/something I only do so I won't be lonely. I talk to my friends everyday and force myself to raise my hand in class (to get a participation grade) but I feel like I only do the bare minimum not to be considered an outcast. Because a therapist can't do anything for my stuttering (and I am beyond speech therapy), can a therapist really help me?


Well I'm not an expert, but maybe he/she can not stop your stuttering (or maybe it can help with that) but they can stop your stuttering from bothering you and affecting the way you act socially to the extent it is.


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## Thix (Jul 14, 2012)

Ltsax said:


> . . . After leaving my initial appointment, I have considered cancelling my next one because the anticipation is making me nervous.


I think you've kind of answered your own question here. It sounds like you're too worried about being seen as weird or wacky or whatever. You've already taken the first step toward figuring out what's bothering you, you might as well keep going. Especially considering it's free and you already have another appointment set up. Try not to think of it as, "If I go to this next appointment the counselor is officially going to label me with a mental disorder," but instead more of a fact-finding mission. See what you can find out about yourself and maybe how to make yourself feel more comfortable.

I don't really stutter, but I . . . have a tendency to trip over my words. Sometimes it bothers me, sometimes it doesn't. I've just sort of accepted that my mouth and brain aren't always in sync with each other. There's not really anything we can do about that, so try not to worry about it.


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## Sierpinski (Jun 17, 2012)

Ltsax said:


> I believe that I might have a form of mild social anxiety. When I went to the free campus counseling at my university (kind of on a whim), I expected to just talk and leave, but the on-call counselor scheduled weekly appointments for me. I assume this means that he believes that I need semi-serious intervention (I'm really not sure). Here are my symptoms:
> - only participate in class if my grade will suffer if I don't
> - when I speak in class, I can feel my heart in my chest
> - I would rather stay at home and study than hang out with my friends most of the time (but I still feel very lonely)
> ...


I had a nightmarish experience with on-campus counseling. The counselor ignored my OCD, even though I kept telling him I had symptoms. He just shook his head and said "I don't see you doing that." He informed me that I would be seeing an on-campus psychiatrist, but offered no explanation as to why. The psychiatrist said nothing to me about a diagnosis but prescribed Trilafon which caused derealization and panic attacks. I suffered on Trilafon for six months. Years later, I got hold of the case notes, and the idiots were treating me for schizophrenia without telling me. That's super, especially given that I had no symptoms. My OCD was never addressed while in campus counseling, and it persisted long afterward. The therapist is now head of a counseling center in another university. Frankly, I think that campus mental health services are dangerous, but that's a reflection of my own experience of course.


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## Sierpinski (Jun 17, 2012)

Ltsax said:


> I did some research on Social Anxiety as it seems a lot more extreme than what I go through. That is why I was surprised when my therapist recommended weekly counseling (which I assumed was only for more serious cases than myself).


I've had lots of therapists and psychiatrists through the years. I think I know something about this. A mental health professional expects to see seriously disturbed people. To use the psychological term, they are *primed* for it. The mere fact that you walk in the door labels you as having a very serious problem. It would be odd if the counselor said something like "There isn't much wrong with you. You may go."


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## Ltsax (May 28, 2012)

Sierpinski said:


> I had a nightmarish experience with on-campus counseling. The counselor ignored my OCD, even though I kept telling him I had symptoms. He just shook his head and said "I don't see you doing that." He informed me that I would be seeing an on-campus psychiatrist, but offered no explanation as to why. The psychiatrist said nothing to me about a diagnosis but prescribed Trilafon which caused derealization and panic attacks. I suffered on Trilafon for six months. Years later, I got hold of the case notes, and the idiots were treating me for schizophrenia without telling me. That's super, especially given that I had no symptoms. My OCD was never addressed while in campus counseling, and it persisted long afterward. The therapist is now head of a counseling center in another university. Frankly, I think that campus mental health services are dangerous, but that's a reflection of my own experience of course.


Is there anyway to request to see what the psychologist writes down? I'm really curious to see what he thinks I have.


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## Ltsax (May 28, 2012)

Thix said:


> I think you've kind of answered your own question here. It sounds like you're too worried about being seen as weird or wacky or whatever. You've already taken the first step toward figuring out what's bothering you, you might as well keep going. Especially considering it's free and you already have another appointment set up. Try not to think of it as, "If I go to this next appointment the counselor is officially going to label me with a mental disorder," but instead more of a fact-finding mission. See what you can find out about yourself and maybe how to make yourself feel more comfortable.
> 
> I don't really stutter, but I . . . have a tendency to trip over my words. Sometimes it bothers me, sometimes it doesn't. I've just sort of accepted that my mouth and brain aren't always in sync with each other. There's not really anything we can do about that, so try not to worry about it.


Also, when I talk about myself (as in really personal things I do not usually share with others) I get really emotional and start to tear up. I am the type of person who hates crying in front of others, even as a child I hated it. So, I am kind of nervous about that happening. (Even though I am sure they are used to seeing that ).


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## forex (Dec 29, 2010)

i wish i had sh-it like that on my school.


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## Sierpinski (Jun 17, 2012)

Ltsax said:


> Is there anyway to request to see what the psychologist writes down? I'm really curious to see what he thinks I have.


One dominant assumption in therapy is that the patient has a distorted perception of reality. This assumption is made even when the patient is not presumed to be psychotic but merely, say, neurotic. The therapist believes they have a duty to protect the patient from information which would threaten their false sense of reality. The patient's misconceptions must be challenged indirectly and, in some sense, gently. So the answer is no.


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## Ltsax (May 28, 2012)

Sierpinski said:


> One dominant assumption in therapy is that the patient has a distorted perception of reality. This assumption is made even when the patient is not presumed to be psychotic but merely, say, neurotic. The therapist believes they have a duty to protect the patient from information which would threaten their false sense of reality. The patient's misconceptions must be challenged indirectly and, in some sense, gently. So the answer is no.


Ohh, that makes sense from a medical perspective but it is still very annoying lol.


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## Sierpinski (Jun 17, 2012)

Ltsax said:


> Ohh, that makes sense from a medical perspective but it is still very annoying lol.


You could try asking anyway. I'd be shocked if they said yes. But I've known mental health professionals to make terrible mistakes, and I've known highly regarded and credentialed mental health professionals to themselves be very mentally ill.

I know I'm not supposed to say this to a young person considering therapy -- but, dammit, it's true.


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## Sierpinski (Jun 17, 2012)

Rola said:


> I don't think a university counselor is the same as speaking to a specialist therapist. I have known a few who has been to the uni counselor and they've told me they're useless in helping, they just listen to you and ask you questions (to make you see in a different perspective I guess). Which could be all done here on the forums. If you feel you need someone to talk to face-to-face then it would be a good place to start I guess. IMO if your problem is supposedly mild, I'm sure you can deal with it yourself and just face your fears. You don't need a counselor's help in that.


In my case, I wish that's all they'd done. They pretended I was something they read about in a textbook and had fun giving me inappropriate treatment.


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## Ltsax (May 28, 2012)

I just had my second therapy session and I now have a feeling of constant uneasiness. Is this normal? Now I overanalyze all of my thoughts and actions. Also, is it normal to get the impression that your therapist thinks your weird?


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## Paul Hughes 2 (Sep 21, 2012)

Sierpinski said:


> You could try asking anyway. I'd be shocked if they said yes. But I've known mental health professionals to make terrible mistakes, and I've known highly regarded and credentialed mental health professionals to themselves be very mentally ill.
> 
> I know I'm not supposed to say this to a young person considering therapy -- but, dammit, it's true.


Hello

Clients in the UK have a right to see their notes. Besides, I never write anything in my notes which has not already been discussed with the client. I suppose that this may be different in countries where psychotherapy is an adjunct to medical psychiatry.

Paul


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## Paul Hughes 2 (Sep 21, 2012)

Ltsax said:


> I just had my second therapy session and I now have a feeling of constant uneasiness. Is this normal? Now I overanalyze all of my thoughts and actions. Also, is it normal to get the impression that your therapist thinks your weird?


Hello

Yes, I think it is perfectly normal to be feeling like that. Therapy requires people to open up and challenge their thinking. It's almost inevitably going to be uncomfortable at times. That's why having a good relationship with your therapist is so important - because they can help you through.

Telling a therapist one's innermost secrets is difficult precisely because people fear they will be seen as weird. Any therapist worth the name won't see you like that.

Best wishes

Paul


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