# Ladies: would you date a fat guy?



## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

Pretty much what the title says. I'm 6'0" and about 290 pounds, my arms and legs are normal size but my face is fat and I have a very large belly. If you clicked in other ways with a guy like me, would you consider dating him or would the weight totally turn you off? Also, if a guy like that approached you and you weren't interested, would you be disgusted because he might have been thinking about you sexually and/or fantasizing about you? Would the thought of him as a sexual being make you uncomfortable? Thanks.


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## pastels (Sep 18, 2012)

no i wouldn't mind dating a bigger guy its normal, unless he was midley obese then id be concerned


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

Well, I still need a haircut and a shave, but

WARNING: Do not click the following link if you are operating heavy machinery

here is a link to some shirtless pics of me and my face for reference as to the kind of obesity I'm talking about.


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## jmoop (Jul 12, 2009)

I would only if he was making efforts to lose the weight and get healthy.


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## godhelpme2 (Apr 4, 2012)

yeah, i wouldn't let weight stop me from being with someone i want. But i would kinda try to encourage them to work out.


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

Thanks, all. And my second question? Would the thought of him as a sexual being make you uncomfortable?


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## Moongirlie (Jan 1, 2012)

In general, bc I'm really small, 5' and 100 pounds, i like shorter guys who are also smaller. I dont like muscle, etc... But if I were taller, like 5'7+ and obviously, i would be more than 100, i would want a guy bigger than the ones i date now, like my last bf was 105 pounds, alotta girls wouldnt even consider him bc of how small he is, if I were 5'7, i prob wouldnt either... so, i guess wat im trying to say is i would always want someone similar to me.

Would i be in any way offended if a bigger guy was attracted to me and i knew? No. Why would that be at all a problem?


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

A small pot belly is okay but obesity is not attractive.


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

> Would i be in any way offended if a bigger guy was attracted to me and i knew? No. Why would that be at all a problem?


I only ask because it's happened to me. More than once I've had a woman wrinkle her nose and say "ew" when _someone else_ (i.e. not me) talked about me taking my clothes off. And I don't like making people uncomfortable that way.


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## Moongirlie (Jan 1, 2012)

to answer ur second question.. i am only grossed out by the thought of really old people being sexual... everyone else is ok


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

komorikun said:


> A small pot belly is okay but obesity is not attractive.


So it would be a deal-breaker for you? Understood.


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## Moongirlie (Jan 1, 2012)

Dissonant said:


> I only ask because it's happened to me. More than once I've had a woman wrinkle her nose and say "ew" when _someone else_ (i.e. not me) talked about me taking my clothes off. And I don't like making people uncomfortable that way.


whoever said that just sounds like a *****, and there are alotta *****es out there... dont worry yourself. there are probably alot more guys who would wrinkle their noses and say eww at the idea of those girls taking their clothes off.... and they probably know that, therefore, their comments to u came from a point of insecurity. Secure people, would never have a reason to say something so mean, their minds are not messed up enough to think up stuff like that.

One of my tv crushes is kevin james, even though is is prob way bigger than me in real life....i would sooo date him


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

I've always been concerned about the same thing. I've been overweight since I was 20. I've lost a lot of weight in the last year. At my heaviest I weighed 250 pounds. I'm 6'0 and I currently weigh 187 pounds.


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

Moongirlie said:


> whoever said that just sounds like a *****, and there are alotta *****es out there... dont worry yourself. there are probably alot more guys who would wrinkle their noses and say eww at the idea of those girls taking their clothes off.... and they probably know that, therefore, their comments to u came from a point of insecurity. Secure people, would never have a reason to say something so mean, their minds are not messed up enough to think up stuff like that.


That explains why I think about it so much :b but seriously, yeah. I can't say I liked any of those particular women as people. I guess I just need to be less self-conscious? Rejection isn't so bad, I'm just worried about grossing people out.



> One of my tv crushes is kevin james, even though is is prob way bigger than me in real life....i would sooo date him


Heh! I just saw Hitch on TV last night... I thought he was great in that movie


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

ravens said:


> I've always been concerned about the same thing. I've been overweight since I was 20. I've lost a lot of weight in the last year. At my heaviest I weighed 250 pounds. I'm 6'0 and I currently weigh 187 pounds.


Me too... most of my weight is a consequence of my eating disorder, I've been a lot thinner earlier in the past.


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## SupaDupaFly (Sep 1, 2011)

If you look like you dont make the effort to take care of yourself...then no im pretty sure most girls wouldnt wanna date someone who is obese or even overweight.just saying


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

SupaDupaFly said:


> If you look like you dont make the effort to take care of yourself...then no im pretty sure most girls wouldnt wanna date someone who is obese or even overweight.just saying


Point taken. Maybe this is better taken up in the eating disorder/body image thread. Thanks for your input


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

...so it would just be better if I gave up on approaching women? My psychological scars when it comes to "taking care of myself" seem to run pretty deep, and I haven't had any luck fixing them yet.

I'm getting more and more depressed, think I need to take a break from posting for the night.  Sorry for bringing everyone down.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

Dissonant said:


> ...so it would just be better if I gave up on approaching women? My psychological scars when it comes to "taking care of myself" seem to run pretty deep, and I haven't had any luck fixing them yet.
> 
> I'm getting more and more depressed, think I need to take a break from posting for the night.  Sorry for bringing everyone down.


Dude, I used to be huge. Being overweight isn't an incurable disfigurement.

What you need is a set of dumbbells, some work out dvd's, a diet plan, and some goal setting.

Here you go


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

I once knew a morbidly obese guy...he was huuuuge! And he had a girlfriend but she was also morbidly obese. So if you're worried I'd say just go for women about the same size you are. I have a cousin who's overweight and she always dates guys that are chunky or overweight also.


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## Moongirlie (Jan 1, 2012)

I agree with canucklehead... Ive had physical problems too... i dun wanna say exactly what, but if they can be worked on, i always tried whatever i could do to make myself happier with my physical appearance. I know that you have an eating disorder, so that might make it extra difficult, but sometimes that just means you need to see a therapist/counselor if that is an option you have or may just talk to other people who overcame the problem.  dont stop bloggin, theres nothing to be depressed over.. there are plenty of guys/girls who have the same issues and feel the same... theres always a way out


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## SupaDupaFly (Sep 1, 2011)

Dissonant said:


> ...so it would just be better if I gave up on approaching women? My psychological scars when it comes to "taking care of myself" seem to run pretty deep, and I haven't had any luck fixing them yet.
> 
> I'm getting more and more depressed, think I need to take a break from posting for the night.  Sorry for bringing everyone down.


No.. you should never give up on anything. You can do something about it.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

I didn't think I would ever lose weight. I finally had enough of being overweight and I went on a diet and in over a year I have lost over 65 pounds. I was obese a year ago and now I'm just barely overweight.


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

Canucklehead said:


> Dude, I used to be huge. Being overweight isn't an incurable disfigurement.
> 
> What you need is a set of dumbbells, some work out dvd's, a diet plan, and some goal setting.
> 
> Here you go


Yeah, it's the diet plan and goal setting that are the problem for me. I am an emotional eater and usually end up feeling suicidal if I think about restricting my eating. And "goal setting" triggers a lot of childhood abuse memories :/ I've been going to therapy but I seem to be resistant to it, sadly enough... I just get too angry to listen and then spiral into a depressive episode 

The exercise sounds good though, because of my medical issues I'm exercising through my local medical clinic.

Anyway I didn't want to derail the thread with discussion of my psychological problems.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

The question should be "would you date a skinny guy?" I'm really skinny i don't think women want a to date a piece of stick.


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## LoneLioness (Nov 16, 2003)

You are willing to date a girl as overweight as you right? So just go for girls as overweight as you. They will most likely date you if they like your personality. If they don't date you they're being hypocritical. There's a lot of obese girls especially in the US so it shouldn't be too difficult for you to find one.


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

Shauna The Dead said:


> I once knew a morbidly obese guy...he was huuuuge! And he had a girlfriend but she was also morbidly obese. So if you're worried I'd say just go for women about the same size you are. I have a cousin who's overweight and she always dates guys that are chunky or overweight also.


A nice thought  The 2 women I've dated I wasn't sexually attracted to because of their weight, although they were much heavier than me... but I don't think anyone could find me attractive either, I certainly don't.


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

LoneLioness said:


> You are willing to date a girl as overweight as you right? So just go for girls as overweight as you. They will most likely date you if they like your personality. If they don't date you they're being hypocritical. There's a lot of obese girls especially in the US so it shouldn't be too difficult for you to find one.


Willing to date? Yes. Sexually attracted to? Not generally, although I do find them less repulsive than I am at comparable weight. But it's a moot point because I'm too ashamed of my sexual feelings to approach anyone, in part because of my own repulsiveness but mostly for other reasons


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

I have never dated. I wouldn't care if she was a little overweight.


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

I used to be like 6'5 260 and like 33% bodyfat.... girls wouldnt look my direction... i got down to 187 13% bmi.... Things changed.


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

ravens said:


> I have never dated. I wouldn't care if she was a little overweight.


Neither would I  but I'm much more than a little. And I did say I'd be willing to date anyone regardless of weight (the last woman I dated weighed more than me and was a full foot shorter) but I've dated women I'm not sexually attracted to before, it never ends well. :no


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## CoastalSprite (Sep 8, 2011)

If I click with someone, weight definitely wouldn't matter to me unless it's to the point where it interferes with his daily functioning.


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

illmatic1 said:


> I used to be like 6'5 260 and like 33% bodyfat.... girls wouldnt look my direction... i got down to 187 13% bmi.... Things changed.


Yeah, I'm 6'0" 290 and 32% myself... guess I'm both fat AND big-boned :haha


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## brownzerg (Jan 8, 2012)

I certainly hope they would or else I'm outta luck!

5'10 and 260

I'm workin' on it though. You'd be absolutely amazed what just a few situps/pushups, and a couple ten pound weights lifted in a few different ways will do for you. I haven't even exercised for longer than maybe ten minutes tops and I have dropped ten pounds.

Just take it slow and set easy goals. I used to do one situp, then two, then four, then i stopped counting and just went until i felt like that was enough.


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

Moongirlie said:


> to answer ur second question.. i am only grossed out by the thought of really old people being sexual... everyone else is ok


You will have time to get used to it... Becuse people are sexual till death.



visualkeirockstar said:


> The question should be "would you date a skinny guy?" I'm really skinny i don't think women want a to date a piece of stick.


My first boyfriend was short and skinny. Just skin and bones.

The truth is that some people has obsessions about person's looks. Some people does not care. I would say "Be what you are looking for" because people many times want to date someone who is similar by looks and life style. Many couples look each others. Of course not all. My causin is short and much over weight and her hubby is tall and skinny. My aunt is short and skinny but was married a tall fat guy.. There just must be... Sparkles to make it happend!


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

brownzerg said:


> I certainly hope they would or else I'm outta luck!
> 
> 5'10 and 260
> 
> ...


Yeah  I can't do situps or pushups yet (soon) but I like weights and I love the recumbent bike they have at the clinic... wish I could afford one... someday soon I hope to  need to find a job first.


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

Dissonant said:


> Yeah, I'm 6'0" 290 and 32% myself... guess I'm both fat AND big-boned :haha


actually it probably means you have alot of muscle underneath it all.... if you lost weight and lifted a bit of weights you might find that youd be pretty buff


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

illmatic1 said:


> actually it probably means you have alot of muscle underneath it all.... if you lost weight and lifted a bit of weights you might find that youd be pretty buff


yep  I'm built like an overweight ex-linebacker :haha

I really do want to lose weight... and I do like to exercise... but the compulsive fast food overeating is really interfering. I'll talk to my therapist about it at my next (and sadly last) appointment.

Thanks everyone for your support.  :clap I really appreciate it.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

When I weighed 252 my BMI was about 34. Right now I weight 187 and my BMI is 25.4. I don't know what my body fact percentage was when I weighed 252 but right now it's around 21%. I lift weights almost every day.


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## Innamorata (Sep 20, 2011)

I have dated overweight guys, it doesn't bother me. I'm not overweight either.


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## mdiada (Jun 18, 2012)

Of course! I prefer bigger men, myself, anyway. My ex was bigger. Love love love it!


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## Amorphousanomaly (Jun 20, 2012)

Fat guys are the best, obv.


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

...thanks, you 3 :blush. Even if some of you are stretching the truth (pun definitely intended) or even being outright sarcastic, thanks for just saying it ops


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

I'm bigger than you so duh, but you wouldn't find me attractive probably. My plan is to work on myself and be okay being alone. At this point it's where it's at.


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

awkwardsilent said:


> I'm bigger than you so duh, but you wouldn't find me attractive probably. My plan is to work on myself and be okay being alone. At this point it's where it's at.


I wouldn't count yourself out completely even in my case... physicality is just one component of sexual attraction and can be overridden (not just compensated for, but actually overridden) by others. And there are plenty of men that find larger women more attractive, as I'm sure you know. Still, working on yourself is a good thing, and never time wasted  Good luck to you.


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## Laura1990 (May 12, 2012)

I have before. 
It's not so much the fact that a guy is larger that would put me off, but the fact that he doesn't take care of himself.


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

Laura1990 said:


> I have before.
> It's not so much the fact that a guy is larger that would put me off, but the fact that he doesn't take care of himself.


This is an excellent point. I really need to conquer this eating disorder, for my own sake as well as others'.

Thanks.


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## Secretaz (Sep 10, 2011)

I would date a fat guy as long as he is not dangerously overweight. It would look funny as i'm skinny as a skeleton and a guy is like an elephant!


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

I've lost the weight mainly for health reasons. I was on so many blood pressure medications so I decided that I would change my diet. I'm now taking 1 blood pressure drug and that has been cut down. I'm also working out almost every day. I don't know if anything will change about not having a girlfriend. I have never been able to ask women out so unless I can talk to women or by some chance somebody talks to me I don't see it happening.


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## Lonelygirl1986 (Sep 4, 2012)

Yes! I love being under big men


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

ravens said:


> I've lost the weight mainly for health reasons. I was on so many blood pressure medications so I decided that I would change my diet. I'm now taking 1 blood pressure drug and that has been cut down. I'm also working out almost every day. I don't know if anything will change about not having a girlfriend. I have never been able to ask women out so unless I can talk to women or by some chance somebody talks to me I don't see it happening.


:squeeze SA can be a terrible thing. I feel for you.



Lonelygirl1986 said:


> Yes! I love being under big men


:blush :blush :blush


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## Ltblue (May 20, 2012)

*Girls look ugly naked*

Not trying to be d*ck, but most girls don't look that good(naked) as well. A lot of the "skinny" girls are skinny fat.. lol I know it sounds weird but it's true.


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## Lexortiz (Sep 13, 2012)

*Don't think so hard....*

Fat really has nothing to do with anything. Besides that, 6'0" 2 .. something is not fat! Now, fat has nothing to do with anything. It's all about sex appeal. And how you carry yourself. If YOU feel unattractive, you will reflect that. And if you reflect that, then you will not attract anyone. 
Now, if you don't like how you look. Then my dear, it is time to do something about it. But don't worry about what others think. that's what starts us to analyze ourselves in a bad light. 
And there is nothing wrong with thinking about someone sexually. Just don't stare at them while you are doing it! lol 
If you are at home and you feel the need to ... well you know... knock yourself out! Just don't get caught up between fantasy and reality.


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## Lexortiz (Sep 13, 2012)

*?????*



Ltblue said:


> Not trying to be d*ck, but most girls don't look that good(naked) as well. A lot of the "skinny" girls are skinny fat.. lol I know it sounds weird but it's true.


Skinny fat? It's a nice way of looking at it. I wish it was real, but unfortunately it's not


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## meeps (Dec 5, 2011)

komorikun said:


> A small pot belly is okay but obesity is not attractive.


+
chubby can be cute


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## meeps (Dec 5, 2011)

Ltblue said:


> A lot of the "skinny" girls are skinny fat.. lol I know it sounds weird but it's true.


you mean they have a belly


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

Chubby (not obese) is cutest, imo. I'm stick thin myself though.


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## Ltblue (May 20, 2012)

Lexortiz said:


> Skinny fat? It's a nice way of looking at it. I wish it was real, but unfortunately it's not





meeps said:


> you mean they have a belly


Yeah, the love handles and the hips(and others things I won't mention).. But I've been/seen a few and only one girl looked the way I'd imagine her to be, others.. Not so much.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Lexortiz said:


> Fat really has nothing to do with anything. Besides that, 6'0" 2 .. something is not fat! Now, fat has nothing to do with anything. It's all about sex appeal. And how you carry yourself. If YOU feel unattractive, you will reflect that. And if you reflect that, then you will not attract anyone.
> Now, if you don't like how you look. Then my dear, it is time to do something about it. But don't worry about what others think. that's what starts us to analyze ourselves in a bad light.
> And there is nothing wrong with thinking about someone sexually. Just don't stare at them while you are doing it! lol
> If you are at home and you feel the need to ... well you know... knock yourself out! Just don't get caught up between fantasy and reality.


i like this advice and for the most part i agree.

take care of yourself for yourself and learn to respecta nd cherish yourself.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

i'm surprised by many of the girls who'd date big men. i thought the responses would be much different. am i wrong to assume looks aren't as important to women as it is for men?


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

bwidger85 said:


> i'm surprised by many of the girls who'd date big men. i thought the responses would be much different. am i wrong to assume looks aren't as important to women as it is for men?


This is a support forum, and there are feelings to be hurt.

@op Seriously, if your that worried about it start making some change. I posted a torrent for p90x, the rest is up to you.


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

Canucklehead said:


> This is a support forum, and there are feelings to be hurt.


:blank yeah, because they totally saw this thread and thought "well, fat guys are gross, but I think I'm gonna make **** up and post anyway because someone's HURTING out there" :roll



> @op Seriously, if your that worried about it start making some change. I posted a torrent for p90x, the rest is up to you.


Is that what that was? Sorry, it looks good for what it is, but, you know... not for me due to various medical issues. And, you know, an eating disorder. But those aren't real and can just be ignored, right? I'm just coddling myself. uke


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## Visionary (Apr 13, 2010)

No, because three of my exes were overweight


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## Black And Mild (Apr 11, 2011)

I'm obviously not a female, but I have seen plenty of big dudes with gorgeous women... and I'm not just saying that to cheer you up either.

...However, I'm sure losing weight would make you more attractive, and would broaden the spectrum of women you could choose from.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

how do people with huge bellies have sex?


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

komorikun said:


> how do people with huge bellies have sex?


It's possible, even for 2 overweight people (both of my exes were also large), but some positions are easier than others. Hanne Blank has written what I've heard is an excellent book on the subject. There's also lots of information available via Google, etc.


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

Black And Mild said:


> I'm obviously not a female, but I have seen plenty of big dudes with gorgeous women... and I'm not just saying that to cheer you up either.
> 
> ...However, I'm sure losing weight would make you more attractive, and would broaden the spectrum of women you could choose from.


Oh, definitely. And I haven't given up yet. But you know what? Hearing from some women that they're OK with larger guys is actually making me feel BETTER about losing weight! It's putting a break in the cycle of shame and depression that's contributing to my disordered eating in the first place. 

Thanks.


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