# My first Xanax experience



## DK3 (Sep 21, 2011)

I've just received a batch of 0.5mg Xanax which I thought I would try out as I'm having quite a stressful day which is making my anxiety worse (nuisance neighbour playing loud music and risk of local authority coming out to pay a visit) .

I popped one 0.5mg pill with some water on an empty stomach and waited about 30 minutes but didn't feel much benefit. So I decided to pop another. Within about 30-40 minutes I began to feel quite drowsy and coordination was affected such that I almost fell over. Feels like being very tired and wanting to crash and sleep, but yet being mentally alert and able to focus on things. My mind feels more care-free and I'm not feeling so wound up. 

My anxiety has also subsided considerably and I feel more confident in dealing with the local authority representative should they call. I even feel slightly aggressive, like going down to pay my nuisance neighbour a visit or at the very least shouting some abuse over the balcony, which is very much unlike me. I normally wouldn't say boo to a goose. 

I'm quite sensitive to drugs, even a cup of strong tea gives me the jitters. So I decided to have a second strong cup now to see if the Xanax takes the edge off it and keeps me sedated.


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## Bacon (Jul 4, 2010)

Good that its working. Dont abuse it.


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## DK3 (Sep 21, 2011)

Bacon said:


> Good that its working. Dont abuse it.


Yes I'm trying to be very careful and sensible as I'm well aware how dangerous benzos are and how easy it is to fall into a the trap of daily usage.

I'm quite reclusive and don't need to go out or socialise much so I shouldn't need to take them except for emergency situations like today.

Interestingly the Xanax has totally muted the effects of the caffeine from the 2nd cup of tea I just had...Normally I'd be highly stimulated now and edgy but I'm just very much chilled still although more metally alert.


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## d829 (Jul 29, 2010)

You can be as sensible as possible but you have no control over your GABA receptors and these pills affect them.


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## DK3 (Sep 21, 2011)

d829 said:


> You can be as sensible as possible but you have no control over your GABA receptors and these pills affect them.


That is true, but providing you don't take them daily or too regularly, it shouldn't have any lasting change to the brain chemistry and the risk of dependency is minimal.

I speak from experience as I was prescribed Valium for 3 years under supervision and never had any tolerance, addiction or withdrawal issues.


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## belfort (May 3, 2009)

wouldnt it make sense to assume your Gaba levels were out of whack or lesser than that of a normal persons PRIOR to using benzos??thats the reason you have the high anxiety??


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## DK3 (Sep 21, 2011)

belfort said:


> wouldnt it make sense to assume your Gaba levels were out of whack or lesser than that of a normal persons PRIOR to using benzos??thats the reason you have the high anxiety??


I've been wondering about the connection with GABA and anxiety for many years and done some research in this area and it's quite a complicated area. It's interesting how substances that affect the GABA receptors (notably alcohol) can have such a profound effect on someone with SA, and in the case of myself, result in almost a complete personality change so there's almost no anxiety and making conversation and eye contact is easy. The same experience happened to me when using GHB (another substance that acts on GABA receptors much like alcohol).

So maybe you're right in that there is some chemical imbalance or some problem with the GABA receptors. But I think we have to be careful to draw this conclusion and it may be that other factors are causing the anxiety (perhaps related to adrenalin, non-adrenalin, serotonin, dopamine etc) and that GABA is just relaxing and compensating for that.

One thing is clear, if you look at how many SA people are in social situations, it's very much the "fight or flight" response is amplified.. the brain perceives it as a fear situation and goes into the normal biological response of releasing adrenalin and your body tells you to get away from the situation as quickly as possible.

Then there's the problem of not feeling empathy or happy around people. SA sufferers may come across as miserable or uninterested in communicating/listening to people. Smiling and making small talk is next to impossible it just doesn't come naturally. Is that down to brain chemistry and a lack of "feel good" chemicals like serotonin/dopamine, or is it more to do with self-image and self-esteem, such that an individual who doesn't feel good about themselves can't project a positive or happy outward self to others.


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## belfort (May 3, 2009)

^^well i know this, on benzos i feel complete lack of anxiety but i also am very apathetic and zombie-like..i have no anxiety but i also simply dont care to do anything..

on GHB i feel strongly motivated to go out and connect with people, mostly women.i do feel empathetic and energized somewhat by socializing...on GHb my anxiety is decreased but my desire is increased, sexual and social desire...

Alcohol i just feel numb, anxiety is less but again, extreme apathy...

one must not also forget the draining that we get from socializing...im introverted and if im sober i find talking to be more tiring than doing manual labor..there has to be a big reward at the end if im going to force myself out to socialize but lets face it, there rarely is so i just keep to myself..

not feeling happy around people or energized around them is a huge hurdle for us or me..im 33 years old and i can get by just fine in social situations BUT i have to FAKE the interest and energy..most people naturally get energized and enthusiastic about talking to others but i never really have...after all these years i have learned to fake it so i somehow fit in better but that does me no good in the grand scheme of things..i dont know if its depression, introversion, SA, apathy, schizoid or what but i do know this problem wont likely be figured out in my lifetime


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## DK3 (Sep 21, 2011)

belfort said:


> ^^well i know this, on benzos i feel complete lack of anxiety but i also am very apathetic and zombie-like..i have no anxiety but i also simply dont care to do anything..
> 
> *I feel exactly the same, but I also feel less inhibited and will exhibit aggression more readily which is uncharacteristic for me. For instance yesterday when I took Xanax for only the second time, I found my temper exploded over an incident with a long-standing nuisance noisy neighbour in the flat below. I suddenly found myself shouting and swearing over the balcony at them and threatening to...well go down there and do not nice stuff. Heh. Most unusual for me I normally wouldn't have the courage to say boo to a goose. *
> 
> ...


*I can totally relate to what you mean here. It feels like we're fake or pretending sometimes and is just hard for us to understand how others seem so happy and genuinely interested in listening and speaking to others often about trivial stuff. This got me thinking, how many people are really genuine and how many are just very good actors. I once dated a very confident girl and she told me she wasn't that confident and it was an act, she said you get through life by acting and putting on a front. Often famous celebs do it, inside they're very different, but on the outside you would never know you just see a smiling happy confident person. Maybe you can convince yourself if you behave that way, who knows? I've also known people in my life who do not pretend and just *are* naturally miserable, you can see it in their face..but it doesn't seem to bother them and they just don't care what people think. I remember I had a few teachers like that at school.*


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## ktbare (Sep 13, 2009)

I f cken love xanax


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## barry1685 (May 25, 2011)

ktbare said:


> I f cken love xanax


ditto.... Does anyone know how fast xanax builds tolerance?


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## DK3 (Sep 21, 2011)

barry1685 said:


> ditto.... Does anyone know how fast xanax builds tolerance?


I have no clue, I took Valium for about 3 years off and on, sometimes daily, and even sometimes several times a day..I was prescribed 3mg and my doctor would give me 3 months supply - about 90 pills (he was very trusting)...I never experienced any tolerance but that may have been because I never took more than 3-6mg as I found it so powerful it just knocked me out and sent me to sleep anyway.

I have heard, if you take Valium daily, tolerance can develop in as little as 2-3 weeks. No clue about Xanax though.


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## randomprecision (Aug 19, 2011)

I remember my first Xanax. I was about 19 and someone gave me a couple (my friends were all druggies). I took one and went to a bar with them. I can remember being so amazed ... "wow, this must be what it feels like to be normal!" Nothing has ever quite matched that feeling.


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## freud (Sep 21, 2011)

Is there anyone who did not enjoy Xanax? It's just so strange, because it never did much for me... But i keep reading that it's the favorite of many people.http://www.dict.cc/englisch-deutsch/environmental.html


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## DK3 (Sep 21, 2011)

randomprecision said:


> I remember my first Xanax. I was about 19 and someone gave me a couple (my friends were all druggies). I took one and went to a bar with them. I can remember being so amazed ... "wow, this must be what it feels like to be normal!" Nothing has ever quite matched that feeling.


That sounds like my first experience with marijuana! At the time I was going through my lowest point with SA, I had spent like 6 years in my bedroom at my family home...never going outside during all that time and seeing nobody except my immediate family. Then one day I had the good fortune to have a spliff come my way, and after a few puffs on that and I was able to go outside for the first time in 6 years, I felt totally normal and relaxed and that is what started my road towards recovery.


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## DK3 (Sep 21, 2011)

freud said:


> Is there anyone who did not enjoy Xanax? It's just so strange, because it never did much for me... But i keep reading that it's the favorite of many people.http://www.dict.cc/englisch-deutsch/environmental.html


What dose do you take and did you get it on prescription or by other means? I wouldn't describe it myself as having a recreational value at the low doses I have tried it at, but it certainly is effective at knocking the SA into touch.

I've heard some people say higher doses of benzos (particularly Valium) do give euphoria and a kind of high, but I don't know how you really take such high doses and be functional without nodding off!


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## King Moonracer (Oct 12, 2010)

Your lucky benzos work for you. I wish i was sensitive to drugs, but im rediculously tolerant to them. A mg if xanax doeant do ****. I just took 2mg last night, because i only had 4 pills left and im moving to ativan. On this dose i actually felt a little. But i was no where near falling over. 

But i guess im lucky im tolerant, because theres no way ill get addicted. I was on 3 mg of klonopin once, and it hardly did anything. So i just weened of in a month with minimal withdrawal effects. But it still sucks it hardly worked for me.


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## belfort (May 3, 2009)

i have never enjoyed benzos...this is what happens when i take them, i start to get very relaxed and laid back, my thinking slows down, i get tired and my motivation drops..i have never experience any type of euphoria from benzos..

DK3-benzos make you aggressive??wow, not me, they just almost zap the life right out of me...

i dont over-analyze conversations but i notice during them i tend to get tired and downright bored...i can socialize as long as its centered around a game or sports event but if its just socializing straight up, i get drained and bored quite fast...
even with ghb or whatever i almost dont even see the point of socializing..no clue how to get around that hurdle as it gets worse with time..even with family i dont see a reason to talk much..its like when i socialize i get deja vu quite often, talking about the same old things over and over..

yes alcohol used to work great for me but when i drank daily it turned into something to numb me and thats it..garbage drug imo..


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## freud (Sep 21, 2011)

I experienced all kinds of strange things with benzos. I was on Valium a month or so, started again because i began to work in a medical lab at this time and i was just so exhausted from all the tension from the SA with all those new workmates, trying to figure everything out, but after taking Valium every morning it was no problem. But a month later i felt so numb, no emotions at all and i began to get suicidal thoughts. And i thought: Wtf? Normally i take benzos and every suicidal thought is gone. And i think at this time i was really close to it. Because, no fear, no anxiety, no emotions, nothing.

So, i just realized: For me, long term benzo use for me is from now on no option anymore.

But back to topic: I got my Xanax from other means because in Germany it's not widely used, but it was legit. I did take 1, 2, 3mg on several occasions and i really felt it but it didn't change something regarding mood or anxiety like all the other benzos i did try.

I also never got tired from benzos, even 30mg midazolam didn't knock me out. A friend of mine took 15 and he had a little tolerance and he fell into a coma. It was really funny, one moment he was talking to me, the next he fell on the couch an snored.

I hope i don't bore you guys with my storys.


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## DK3 (Sep 21, 2011)

freud said:


> I hope i don't bore you guys with my storys.


No way, I love to hear them 

I must be a super fly weight when it comes to drugs, because even the slightest thing affects me... 0.5mg xanax makes me real tired, 1mg has me almost falling over! No joke, my coordination gets real messy. 3mg Valium has me yawning and very drowsy, unable to concentrate.

Even a cup of strong tea gets me high and sometimes gives me the jitters/makes anxiety worse. I used to drunk (badly) on about 3 beers and a vodka, slurred speech, unable to walk straight.


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## DK3 (Sep 21, 2011)

I just popped a 0.5 xanax earlier before I left to drop some packages off at the post office. I shouldn't of really as I've made a rule I'm keeping benzos strictly for emergencies, but I was expecting a run-in with my troublesome neighbour and was expecting them to confront me on my way down the stairs, so I needed a bit of extra courage ;-) 

I don't know if it's the actual xanax or just my own confidence boosted knowing I've taken one, but when I've taken it nothing seems to phase me, I can stare people in the eye or I can smile and say hello.. normally I wouldn't do either and would keep my head down.

I can see this becoming a habit if I'm not careful....:|


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## freud (Sep 21, 2011)

Better throw them away. :b I know exactly how you feel right now. Back then, i started to get afraid of myself.  The thing is, its nice, but the price is too high. If you're feeling that you can't control it... Ah, just be careful now, i don't want you to wake up tomorrow, half naked, somewhere in the bushes, not remembering a thing.


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## QuietBoy99 (Sep 7, 2010)

DK3 said:


> I've just received a batch of 0.5mg Xanax which I thought I would try out as I'm having quite a stressful day which is making my anxiety worse (nuisance neighbour playing loud music and risk of local authority coming out to pay a visit) .
> 
> I popped one 0.5mg pill with some water on an empty stomach and waited about 30 minutes but didn't feel much benefit. So I decided to pop another. Within about 30-40 minutes I began to feel quite drowsy and coordination was affected such that I almost fell over. Feels like being very tired and wanting to crash and sleep, but yet being mentally alert and able to focus on things. My mind feels more care-free and I'm not feeling so wound up.
> 
> ...


Please be careful because Xanax can be highly addictive. It can cause aggressive behavior and violence.


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