# depressed about my pointless existence



## Mr. Orange (Apr 20, 2008)

when i am not depressed about other things, i often find myself depressed thinking about my life and how arbitrary it is. all the things which i once coveted and hold dear are only viewed in such a way because i am occupying the body of a completely random human being. there is nothing inherently special about my existence, nor anyone with whom i associate. for instance, there is no viable reason for me to feel any emotions with regards to my family. the only reason that i see them more than humans with similar biological makeup is because of exposure, and dependence. that being said, i have no reason to have any emotions regarding myself, because all that i am was not chosen by me, but rather chosen for me, in some sense or another.

that being said, friendships and socializing have the logical function of interdependence. as a species, it was difficult to exist on our own when humans were in their infancy, but now we can be less dependent on society and more self reliant. a person, assuming he has a family that can provide him adequate shelter and food, does not need to interact with society at all. relationships with others is very superficial, and thus i see no reason to value them.

i have concluded that my emotions regarding feeling left out and isolated from most others are purely irrational, and only serve me in the evolutionary sense that i desire to interact with others so they can serve to assist my existence. this makes me feel like everything that i am missing out on is very shallow, and i am surviving without it, and as a biological species, this is all i need to do. the only interaction i really need is with a sole mate (not SOUL lol), with whom i can pass on my genes and then my existence has fulfilled its sole purpose.

yeah, i don't like thinking this way, and i do have a lot of emotions, but i still don't see any logical reason for them.

does anyone else think this way? and how can you stop?


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## John_K (Aug 21, 2004)

I started having similar feelings a few years back. Up until that point I was pretty self-assured about myself and felt like I had purpose. Then I had a series of setbacks, and developed a bad case of SA and BDD (although I really do have physical deformities). It was one long existential crisis, and I started having a cavalier attitude about living in general, which annoyed people around me.

I still don't know how to solve it, to close this Pandora's box in my mind. Last year I packed up and lived overseas for eight months. That experience really put some things in perspective. Yet it didn't solve the big problems. Maybe the only way out is to settle down and raise a family. If I had kids, maybe I wouldn't have time to think about myself all the time. I don't know.


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## BeachGaBulldog (Feb 13, 2007)

My life is pointless, too. I have to find some way to laugh, even if its something stupid, silly, or obscene.


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## stardog99 (Mar 22, 2008)

slicenrice said:


> when i am not depressed about other things, i often find myself depressed thinking about my life and how arbitrary it is. all the things which i once coveted and hold dear are only viewed in such a way because i am occupying the body of a completely random human being. there is nothing inherently special about my existence, nor anyone with whom i associate. for instance, there is no viable reason for me to feel any emotions with regards to my family. the only reason that i see them more than humans with similar biological makeup is because of exposure, and dependence. that being said, i have no reason to have any emotions regarding myself, because all that i am was not chosen by me, but rather chosen for me, in some sense or another.
> 
> that being said, friendships and socializing have the logical function of interdependence. as a species, it was difficult to exist on our own when humans were in their infancy, but now we can be less dependent on society and more self reliant. a person, assuming he has a family that can provide him adequate shelter and food, does not need to interact with society at all. relationships with others is very superficial, and thus i see no reason to value them.
> 
> ...


Meditate. Do it every day and you'll start to see your way out of that sh*t


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## Mr. Orange (Apr 20, 2008)

stardog99 said:


> Meditate. Do it every day and you'll start to see your way out of that sh*t


did this work for you?


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## johnysmith1234 (Dec 2, 2006)

Something that's helped me is excersising. Not only do you feel good, but you get to see results from the hard work you put into bettering yourself.


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## Mr. Orange (Apr 20, 2008)

johnysmith1234 said:


> Something that's helped me is excersising. Not only do you feel good, but you get to see results from the hard work you put into bettering yourself.


i already exercise everyday lol. but maybe i can tune it up a notch. thanks.


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## Bo Nody (Aug 8, 2011)

*hope*

So if i dont give up hope im just lost? not truly lost! 
Whats the difference?
existance is pointless


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## OldSchoolSkater (Jun 3, 2011)

Dude, are you seeing a therapist at all? It sounds like you could definitely use some professional help to get back on track. They way you talk scares me and I think the way you look at things is killing your ambition to live. 

If you are unhappy, find something to make you happy and go for it. Don't just continue on complaining about how pointless life is and blah blah blah. Go find a reason to be alive and embrace it.


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## keyla965 (Jan 13, 2011)

i know that this is so cliche but, i couldnt have said wat you said any better. 


OldSchoolSkater said:


> Dude, are you seeing a therapist at all? It sounds like you could definitely use some professional help to get back on track. They way you talk scares me and I think the way you look at things is killing your ambition to live.
> 
> If you are unhappy, find something to make you happy and go for it. Don't just continue on complaining about how pointless life is and blah blah blah. Go find a reason to be alive and embrace it.


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## Phoenix Rising (Jul 7, 2011)

sounds like you're a member of the club with depression and SA (I'm a member too!)---seek help specifically for depression in addition to what else. You will get better and your lows will get higher--affirmations, journaling, having a couple people (therapist and a family member or a member of a support group or friend or anyone) to talk to all helped me. I'm still getting better as well.


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## Takerofsouls (Oct 20, 2010)

This is exactly how I feel, at this point I am just trying to accept the fact that I am pointless. I just dont really care about anything anymore, dont even care about getting better. 
Most all SSRIs cause sexual dysfunction so thats out of the question, and really I dont feel like trying to find something that will work. In my distorted mind its easier to accept the sadness and pain then to put the effort in to fail again at trying to fix it.


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## avoidobot3000 (Aug 22, 2010)

Sometimes when I'm walking down a busy street it feels like all the cars are empty and driving themselves. Or in a crowded place I feel like I'm an insect in a swarm and in my office people seem to have the same conversations everyday about losing weight, buying stuff, having kids THE SPECIES MUST CONTINUE. So yeah a lot of people are shallow but it makes the interesting people more interesting.

I think meaning is made; life is what you make of it. The best you can do is to have some fun and enjoy the ride or try to help some people (if that makes you feel less pointless). 

"The universe is very big!" - Whoopi Goldberg


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## kos (May 19, 2009)

"and how can you stop?"

I go to the water park.


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## FlexSteel (Dec 3, 2011)

Last year fall I remember experiencing the lowest sort of depression about the whole shibam until I was hit with the most profound, elated stroke of insight - I realized there did exist the potential for inherent meaning in the universe. the impact stuck with me for quite a while until this fall when I went to boarding school for the first time I eventually began to run into other sorts of problems. At the moment i've been struggling with sleep and haven't been able to think straight so I'll send you a power point I wrote up last spring which explains it for an open-ended humanities project. if I don't do a good job articulating my thoughts in the ppt just ask me what I meant and I'll try to send something else. 

I'd typed "arbitrary existence" into google and thought I might join this forum to see if I could provide you with answer to your crisis, I don't know a whole lot about forums but I gather you can't attach documents to a message. If you could give me your email, or if you'd like to be safe, an email account you've made up on live.com I'll send you it. Hope you find it useful.

James G.


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## 49erJT (Oct 18, 2010)

10 years ago I often felt the same way but the older I get the more I realize what my purpose is. When I was younger everything I did was based around trying to have fun. My purpose has shifted now to wanting to be a loving husband and hopefully one day father. 

I'm convinced that people are what make life so great and so horrible all at the same time.


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## beshino (Feb 19, 2011)

Mr. Orange said:


> when i am not depressed about other things, i often find myself depressed thinking about my life and how arbitrary it is. all the things which i once coveted and hold dear are only viewed in such a way because i am occupying the body of a completely random human being.
> 
> *You occupy the physical make-up of a human, but I don't find that you could be called a random human being. You were brought here from nothing and then evolved from creation. There's nothing random about it, and the reason why you view yourself that way would be because it makes sense for you with the way your mind has progressed thus far.
> 
> ...


10char ~ Just givin my opinion.


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## Slytherclaw (Jul 16, 2011)

It's kind of scary how much I agree with you.


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## letisa (Dec 4, 2011)

every little thing you said there on your text is true. it's absolute cold but undeniable truth. the thing is, what you need is to view these _facts_ in a _positive_ way. yes, you are a completely random human being - but that makes your existence almost a like a miracle, for the lack of a better word, because out of all infinite possibilities and combinations, you came out. and that makes you unique, as cheesy as it sounds, but it's also a fact. a rational, undeniable fact like all you've said there.

i understand your view on emotions - it's just how nature set us up to be. we are set up to live in families, to procreate, to love, to be instinctive. but we, as human beings, can get away from those biological needs that all the other animals agree to without conscience, and that is the burden we carry: conscience. but your way of thinking makes the burden even bigger, instead of learning how to deal with it and be peaceful with it. i know letting go of this rationalized view of life it's not what you want, you think it will dumben you down, make you alienated, but thinking like this kills the appetite for life. i know what that feels like. but you can be aware of all these things and be peaceful with them, coexist with them.

don't be critical on how ilogical your instinctive behavior is, because it is not useless. it's what makes your pointless life have a point.

_



Doctor Manhattan: Thermodynamic miracles... events with odds against so astronomical they're effectively impossible, like oxygen spontaneously becoming gold. I long to observe such a thing. And yet, in each human coupling, a thousand million sperm vie for a single egg. Multiply those odds by countless generations, against the odds of your ancestors being alive; meeting; siring this precise son; that exact daughter... Until your mother loves a man she has every reason to hate, and of that union, of the thousand million children competing for fertilization, it was you, only you, that emerged. To distill so specific a form from that chaos of improbability, like turning air to gold... that is the crowning unlikelihood. The thermodynamic miracle.

Laurie Juspeczyk: But... if me, my birth, if that's a thermodynamic miracle... I mean, you could say that about anybody in the world!

Dr. Manhattan: Yes. Anybody in the world... But the world is so full of people, so crowded with these miracles that they become commonplace and we forget... I forget. We gaze continually at the world and it grows dull in our perceptions. Yet seen from another's vantage point, as if new, it may still take our breath away. Come... dry your eyes. For you are life, rarer than a quark and unpredictable beyond the dreams of Heisenberg; the clay in which the forces that shape all things leave their fingerprints most clearly. Dry your eyes... and let's go home.

Click to expand...

_


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