# MTV true life: I PANIC, full video here



## jjyiss (May 6, 2006)

http://www.mtv.com/overdrive/?id=1579316&vid=202443

more of a panic attack than social anxiety, but similiar in that they feel trapped at home, room, etc..


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

Copyrights restrict us from playing this video outside the U.S.

I guess it's time to find a US proxy server.


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## SebFontain (Jan 27, 2004)

Thank you for the vid link. I am going to watch it here shortly. Ty again.


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## AllieM (Feb 17, 2007)

thank you so much!..that was pretty interesting. i can relate to bits n peices of what theyre going through.. esp. the people around you not knowing whats wrong with you.


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## jjyiss (May 6, 2006)

moved to "secondary disorder" discussion board FYI.


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## yes (Feb 27, 2008)

Thanks. I just watched the the "True Life: I Work in the Sex Industry" on tv and that one was pretty interesting lol (I watched it because I could NEVER imagine that kind of life). Hopefully this one's just as cool. I think MTV is crap nowadays (still miles better than anything Vh1 though) but the True Life series have always been good.


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## jjyiss (May 6, 2006)

ahahahah.... im that video i work in the sex industry true life video, the 3rd video, asian guy. lolzz. me and my friend tried it out the speed dating, it was my first time, and wanted to see what it was like. rebekkah had a potty mouth which was a turn off because it just wasn't a good 1st impression. also, couldn't take her seriously w/her working inthe sex industry. maybe in a different environment she'd be cool to hang w/. anyways, after the speed dating, no one was really talking w/her, the guys or girls. felt alittle bad for her, but oh well, she made her decision w/her job, and of course she will be judged accordingly.


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## Joodie (Jun 25, 2007)

*MTV true life: I Live a Double Life on the Web*

You know, MTV is filming a new episode for "I Live A Double Life on the Web" and they'd like me to be a part of it. I have pretty severe social anxiety but online I'm a totally different person. I guess you could say I do "porn" but that isn't really the point. Anyways, I think I may be the first person with social anxiety to be represented in the MTV True Life series. I always wanted them to do one on social anxiety but I can see how they might not have a lot of volunteers for that. I'm predicting that it will be torture to film it, but really interesting to see the public reaction. Eeep. Pray for me!!! I hope I survive through it because I really want to be able to tell my story. But geez cameras watching me eat, talk on the phone, get my mail, walk down the street..... :afr


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## Truelife.MTV (Apr 23, 2008)

Hi there...
I work at MTV and right now we're casting/researching for a new show True Life: I'm Agoraphobic. So if you saw True Life: I Panic and it really resonated with your story we'd love to hear from you!
Here is the posting that's on the MTV website right now.

True Life: I'm Agoraphobic
Do you suffer from agoraphobia? Is it extremely difficult or even impossible for you to leave your house or go to places that aren't completely familiar to you? Does even the thought of going outside of your home or into a new space trigger a panic attack? Do your friends and family know about your condition or do you keep it a secret? Are you becoming increasingly reclusive and don't know how to stop the downward spiral? Or has this disorder come to define you and you feel like you can't take it anymore? Are you willing to make a drastic change in order to overcome your fears? If you're agoraphobic and it's having a huge impact on your life, MTV wants to hear your story.
If you appear to be between the ages of 16 and 28 and believe you suffer from agoraphobia email us at [email protected] with all of the details, including how and when the condition affects you, whether you've ever sought treatment, and what your daily life is like. Please be sure to include your name, location, phone number and a photo, if possible.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

Wow, someone who was in a true life vid and a mtv rep. all in the same thread, lol.

jjyiss, after you watched your true life episode did you have a different view of Rebekka?

If that happened to me I probably would of had the same thoughts of wow, she works in the sex industry. After seeing the vid I realized that, yes, she's into the industry, but it really wasn't that bad. She interviews talent and helps set up some scene work. I think the porn industry does get a bad reputation, but I'm not gonna complain, cause they helped me out on lonely nights, lol.


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## tednugent2007 (Oct 28, 2007)

How can you have social anxiety, but at the same time let an MTV crew film you 24/7 for a few weeks, so millions of people can see you on tv? lolol


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## erwr (Apr 19, 2008)

Wow, please keep us posted on this True Life episode. I have been waiting for there to be one about "us"... I could sort of relate to the OCD episode but not quite.

joodie - good luck to you. you are extremely brave for being willing to tell your story to the masses. And we all owe you a ton of gratitude for educating people and raising awareness.


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## CoconutHolder (Oct 13, 2007)

:int 
thread


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## Opie (Dec 28, 2006)

this thread should be pinned


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## Joodie (Jun 25, 2007)

tednugent2007 said:


> How can you have social anxiety, but at the same time let an MTV crew film you 24/7 for a few weeks, so millions of people can see you on tv? lolol


It was only one camera person, and they were really friendly. We'd go out for lunch before filming anything to get to know each other. There were 3 different 'sessions' of filming and 3 different camera people (aka producers). So I got really comfortable after a while. One of the producers was kinda aggressive and made me feel awkward. She kept saying my disorder was "funny". I was like, "You're gonna kill me with this!!" And she just kept laughing. It was not cool. But the other two producers were AMAZINGLY understanding. They were sooo kind and sooo polite and I even consider them good aquaintences now. I learned a lot from the producers. That was the best part (the part nobody got to see). Just learning how to get comfortable with the camera people, cause there was no turning back really. Anyways, the episode cut out all the juicy bits about my SA and I was sorta disappointed. But at least they mentioned it. :eyes


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

Joodie, I saw your episode and I thought you were pretty hot, lol. Do you do your website because your anxiety is too much for a normal job? I kind of wish they would've explained more of your anxiety in general about why it is you are like that, and explained it more with the grocery store and the bowling alley. It didn't really show why you wanted to leave the bowling alley, so I doubt people will understand. I kind of feel bad for you that you have to do what you do to get money, but I understand. Too bad your in Wisconsin, lol. 

I also hated Malary's friend Anna. When they were in the bar and she was telling guys to come talk to Malary or showing her how easy it was to talk to guys, I just wanted to slap her. That is what most people on this site hate.


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## Caligula (Apr 16, 2008)

...


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## Raplovehate (Jan 15, 2008)

jjyiss said:


> ahahahah.... im that video i work in the sex industry true life video, the 3rd video, asian guy. lolzz. me and my friend tried it out the speed dating, it was my first time, and wanted to see what it was like. rebekkah had a potty mouth which was a turn off because it just wasn't a good 1st impression. also, couldn't take her seriously w/her working inthe sex industry. maybe in a different environment she'd be cool to hang w/. anyways, after the speed dating, no one was really talking w/her, the guys or girls. felt alittle bad for her, but oh well, she made her decision w/her job, and of course she will be judged accordingly.


Noooooooooo crap man :eek ! That's like the coolest thing ever to get a view from beyond the camera. I thought she was a pretty attractive woman.


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## jeepy97_21 (Nov 2, 2005)

I just watched the video today and did enjoy it. Not fully on social anxiety like I had hoped but they did touch on it. Seemed everyone in the episode suffered from some social anxiety but that was not the theme and they didn't say too much about it I guess. That took a lot of guts to go on tv like that joodie, and just wanted to commend you on that. I'd like to thank the other girls on the episode as well, if they are reading this.


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## lyssado707 (Oct 29, 2004)

OMG I haven't seen the whole episode yet, but THANKS so much, Joodie, for doing this and getting the word out. You're very brave. I know the episode was not on SA, but they sure as heck mentioned it, which is a great start to the public being more informed. There may be hope yet for gaining understanding of this horrible and "unknown" disorder yet. Thanks so much, and CONGRATULATIONS for being the first SAer on TrueLife!!! This means so much!!


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## Opie (Dec 28, 2006)

:nw Judy :nw


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## Joodie (Jun 25, 2007)

Awwwww! I've been so busy lately I hadn't had the chance to read the replies here. But I'm glad I didn't let anybody down. I was afraid someone would blast me for being a horrible representation of SA or something. But it's unique for everyone right? I was most scared watching the episode on my television. I thought I was going to throw up. And once it was over, I got really angry. I had built it up to be some great enlightening thing for social anxiety but it was really brief.

I overreacted because even the mention of it is super! Thanks so much! I've gotten soooooo many emails and messages from people saying that I helped them and thanking me for going on tv and being brave. I've gotten some ignorant people too but I'm trying to focus on the positive reactions more than anything else. <333


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## Joodie (Jun 25, 2007)

shyvr6 said:


> Joodie, I saw your episode and I thought you were pretty hot, lol. Do you do your website because your anxiety is too much for a normal job? I kind of wish they would've explained more of your anxiety in general about why it is you are like that, and explained it more with the grocery store and the bowling alley. It didn't really show why you wanted to leave the bowling alley, so I doubt people will understand. I kind of feel bad for you that you have to do what you do to get money, but I understand...


It's not that at all! I don't do what I do because I HAVE to. I held a regular retail job for about a year prior to launching my own internet business. Comparing the two, what I do now is much more difficult! I have to run a whole business, it's a lot of work! And I've always kind of wanted to run a paysite because it seemed like such an empowering thing. To be able to bring in viewers and make a living off of your sexuality. I have a healthy view of my sexuality and (on most days) my body. And I only do what I'm comfortable with. It's really liberating. Nobody is pushing me to do something I don't want to, I don't have any "quotas" to meet. I don't have to look a certain way to please my boss. I don't have to follow any stupid rules. It's great! I enjoy it a lot. Having a retail job is great for expanding social experiences, but to be honest I don't have the time for it anymore. I'm proud of mu business and even though I'm not out meeting tons of people I'm happy. I continually try to fulfill my social needs in other ways. (I got a dog so I could go on walks and stuff! etc.) But yeah, I love what I do. Don't let anybody tell you different! :yes


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## mephisto122 (Jun 5, 2008)

*woot*

I think your awesome, it took alot of bravery to admit that to the world esp with how many people watch mtv. I say kudos to you and hopefully people will realize what SA is and respect people who have it. I think your awesome!!


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

I know this will sound odd, but I'm getting a weird feeling because someone I saw on t.v. actually responded to me, lol. You're like a mini celebrity, haha. Well I'm glad you're doing it for you and not because of your anxiety. You should post some pics of your new dog. Woot!


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## Joodie (Jun 25, 2007)

Nah, I'm not a celeb. I haven't been recognized in public yet (though I am kinda hiding and when I go out I wear sunglasses). What the heck am I going to do if someone comes up to me and starts talking to me?!?! That's what I"m most scared of right now. The show has had that negative effect, but I'm sure it will pass. It's kind of like intensifying the thought that "everyone" is looking at me. Because you never know. I really didn't do it for me though... like what person with SA would be like "I want everyone to know who I am and what I do for a living." I certainly continued to think about the (cheesy but) "greater good" that could be done. My SA is certainly still a problem. I wish I could be a spokesperson saying how I got over it, etc... but... one day! I hope!


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## emptybottle (Jan 3, 2005)

Are you anxious about how your family and former classmates would react to this? That would worry me more than what random strangers think.


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## jjyiss (May 6, 2006)

i partially saw the episode on it, and i remember the bowling alley part. as with many ppl that has SA, from people that doesn't have SA or don't understand, they may see you as being stuck up, or too good for your bowling alley friends. but they don't know what internal struggles you go through. 

it reminded we of a quote from batman begins, when bruce is out with these 2 chicks partially drunk, and katie holmes character sees them together. bruce tells her that this isn't really him, that inside he is really a different person. katie holmes character responds by saying, "It’s not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you." anyways, i kind of agreed, but you can't generalize everyone like that, especially people with SA. we may seem arrogant, cold, disinterested, but that doesn't mean we are really that type of person. its SA that makes us act that way.


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## Joodie (Jun 25, 2007)

Thanks jjyiss... very true. And to be honest, I used to really like bowling. But I'll probably never go bowling again because of that stupid day. I was emotional and angry because the entire day had not been a good one. I don't see the reason why anyone would be 'too good' to go bowling. I was just freaking out. Trying to text on my phone and look like I was busy. Haha and I regret say "I just want to be normal" because I don't. I just figured bowling shouldn't be that hard (and it's not more a lot of people). I like being weird lol!

And a girl from my old school actually messaged me and asked if she had ever hurt my feelings or put me down. It was funny because she's this hilarious girl, and when I hear the word "outgoing" I think immediatly of her. So I told her, in turn, that I was envious of her. But she never made me feel bad. I always wanted to be like her. weird coincidence. And I'm only worried about my dad and brother finding out. My brother due to the awkward part and my dad.... the 'unknown' part (I don't know how he'll react). Everyone else, well screw them it's not like I'm going to lose any friends over it since I have none in the first place.

I have a question do you think my friend David was "the voice of reason" as he proclaims or really just a friend that doesn't understand but thinks he does? He often tells me to just get over it so I know he doesn't fully get it and he's nice and all. But he was a jerk on the show. Just wondering what you guys thought of him.


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## colonelpoop (Jun 18, 2008)

haha, this thread is nuts. we have people from mtv posting in here, mtv stars from true life, i'm just trying to get this all straightened out.

jjyiss, if i read your first post correctly, you are in a sex industry episode of true life and you're an asian guy?

Joodie, I saw your episode last week on MTV, that's crazy that you post on here! You are very cute too!


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

From what I remember and only basing it from the show, he seems like he genuinely wants to help you, but doesn't fully understand what you're going through. Is life still the same from before the show or do you get recognized more now?


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## Joodie (Jun 25, 2007)

shyvr6 said:


> From what I remember and only basing it from the show, he seems like he genuinely wants to help you, but doesn't fully understand what you're going through. Is life still the same from before the show or do you get recognized more now?


Ok... cool. I'd say my social life is basically exactly the same. Business is booming though so I'm working harder than I ever have in my life. I guess my outlook has improved... I had a few emails from people saying that I somehow saved their lives. And well, it's hard to feel insignificant and small when someone tells you that. So I'm really trying to put my life together and be a good example. And, while my social anxiety still sucks, I don't let it get me down. It's good to be comfortable by yourself too. Two skills, socializing and contemplating. Why is so much emphasize always put on the socializing? I've learned sooo much about myself and consider social anxiety a gift in disguise. I'm more understanding and compassionate to other people and also really comfortable with my own identity. So my mind has changed quite a bit. Though I wish I could say I'm out on the town every weekend... movies at home aren't so bad... opcorn


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

I watched it a few weeks ago, and thought it was pretty good.

You should ask yourself why you can talk to people on-line easier than in real life. Do you worry about them not wanting to talk to you or not being able to come up with things to talk about? You don't have anything to worry about appearance-wise.


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## jjyiss (May 6, 2006)

no you misread, i don't work in the sex industry, the pink haired girl in the speed dating works in the sex industry


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## Pharao (Jun 10, 2004)

Can someone post this video on youtube or something so that people who don't live in the u.s. can watch it?


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## b0tz (Sep 5, 2008)

I <3 Joodie
but of course, I'm partial to True Life: I Panic because I was on it.
Hey Joodie, how's the social anxiety coming along?


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## brealair (Aug 31, 2008)

What a small world! Someone who participed in True life, someone who was caught on camera and a producer.


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## Joodie (Jun 25, 2007)

I went on a date today! I'm dead exhausted from the nerves and obviously kicking myself for half of the dumb **** I said. But maybe, just maybe, things are looking up for my social life.

At least I made it through the date and didn't die. It's hard when your goals are somewhat higher than 'non-dying' though... but it's something positive none-the-less. Although... I gave him a thumbs up at the end of the night. Ughhh! Whyyy!?


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## b0tz (Sep 5, 2008)

Joodie said:


> I went on a date today! I'm dead exhausted from the nerves and obviously kicking myself for half of the dumb @#%$ I said. But maybe, just maybe, things are looking up for my social life.
> 
> At least I made it through the date and didn't die. It's hard when your goals are somewhat higher than 'non-dying' though... but it's something positive none-the-less. Although... I gave him a thumbs up at the end of the night. Ughhh! Whyyy!?


I'm the same way when I go out on dates. I'm confused. you were on True Life: I Live Another Life on the Web?

I was on True Life: I Panic

Hit me up sometime
www.myspace.com/posterboyof718

-Frank


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## Joodie (Jun 25, 2007)

Yeah I was on the 'web' episode. Misleading title I thought but yeahhh that was me. That's neat that you were on the panic episode I watched that one and liked it!
Hah and as far as 'dates' go I'm still kicking myself because he called two days later and said he was sick so we couldn't hang out. He asked for a raincheck. Truth or a lie? :-\ I'm probably just a little bit too much crazy for anyone to handle.


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## jjyiss (May 6, 2006)

b0tz said:


> Joodie said:
> 
> 
> > I went on a date today! I'm dead exhausted from the nerves and obviously kicking myself for half of the dumb @#%$ I said. But maybe, just maybe, things are looking up for my social life.
> ...


oh wow.... my memory may be fuzzy but are you the person that had a difficult time driving through a particular bridge?? and at the end of the show you succeeded in crossing the bridge??


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