# I'm finally a doctor!



## Tonberry (Nov 14, 2013)

It's definitely been a long road. Six years of medical school, full of a mixture of nerve-wracking, but also rewarding experiences. I finally graduated last month in December and started my job as a junior doctor this week!

Going through medical school and being a doctor can be a nightmare for anyone with social anxiety. It's highly stressful and you are often under scrutiny by the more senior doctors who give you evaluations. You are always working with people, and often you will have to perform procedures or speak in front of others. Medical schools are also full of some of the best and brightest, and that generates a lot of self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy, especially for me.

I'm the kind of person who constantly downplays my achievements and only thinks of things that I have failed to achieve. Even on my graduation day, I had barely congratulated myself. In my mind I was only thinking, "now is when the hard part starts, you're going to struggle for real when you start working". But I realise this is the exact kind of behaviour that stops me from enjoying life and gaining confidence in myself. 

I had lost a few battles along the way where I would avoid anxiety-provoking situations, which I notice only magnified the fear. But overall I think it was a victory for me against social anxiety. I managed to draw enough courage to face some of my biggest fears. I learned a lot more about people and gained a lot of social skills, which I would never have done if I had backed out from medical school as I had once thought of doing. I'm not going to give up because I want to prove to myself and others that despite having social anxiety, I can still be a good doctor.


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## JustRachel (May 22, 2013)

Oh wow, congratulations.

What an achievement _anyway_..nevermind for someone with SA.

Well, I've every faith that if you've come this far DESPITE your struggles, you'll be a GREAT doctor. And hey, it gives you that little more insight to mental health issues when those kind of patients come in.

Well done.


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## Soclose111 (Dec 26, 2013)

OP how did you pass the med entry interviews if you have SA?

And grats.


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## dvana (Mar 9, 2012)

Awesome. Congratulations. :clap? What an achievement - with or without SA. NOW HELP ME....... :evil. Just joking Are you going to Study SA in more depth. - maybe best not to say on here, you will end up with a long waiting list, with me first in line, lol. - Anyway what r u doing on here - Go and do something huge to reward yourself.


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## therealbleach (Jan 11, 2013)

write me a script for an SSRI and I will friend you on SAS


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## yesterdays (Dec 31, 2013)

Congratulations!


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## Kekai (May 31, 2013)

Excellent!


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

JustRachel said:


> Oh wow, congratulations.





yesterdays said:


> Congratulations!


 I think you mean "Congratulations _*doctor*_" 



Tonberry said:


> I'm the kind of person who constantly downplays my achievements and only thinks of things that I have failed to achieve. Even on my graduation day, I had barely congratulated myself. In my mind I was only thinking, "now is when the hard part starts, you're going to struggle for real when you start working". *But I realise this is the exact kind of behaviour that stops me from enjoying life and gaining confidence in myself.*


This is very true. It's something my therapist pointed out I was doing too.

To some extent, our brains learn by punishment and reward. So if we constantly skip over the reward part, (and even keep on punishing ourselves with more anxiety and problematic self-criticism), then we don't really get the confidence boost/reduction in anxiety that comes with achievement.

My therapist referred to it as a problem of "shifting the goalposts". Instead of taking time to acknowledge when we have achieved something and perhaps congratulate ourselves, our thoughts immediately shift to _"yes, but..." _For example: _"Yes I did do the thing I set out to do, but now I have this other thing to worry about"_ or _"Sure, I did manage to do that, but there is so much more to do. I won't be able to handle all this other stuff."_


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

Congratulations! By the way, what sphere of medicine do you specialize in?


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Congratz! That's a huge deal.  It's hard enough for people without SA, but especially awesome since you kicked medical school's butt WHILE having SA.


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## Bigmo (May 28, 2013)

Congratulations mate


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## arao6 (Jul 12, 2013)

Awesome! Congratulations!

If you don't mind, can you speak more about your experiences in medical school? I am starting medical school next fall, so I am curious.


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## Tonberry (Nov 14, 2013)

Thanks everyone for your kind words. You guys are the best! 



Soclose111 said:


> OP how did you pass the med entry interviews if you have SA?
> 
> And grats.


Where I lived the top medical school didn't have an interview and entry was only based on academic marks, so I applied there knowing my chances were quite high there. The second leading medical school in my area required an interview and that really shook me up. I had such bad anticipatory anxiety on the day of the interview that I literally locked myself in the toilet and got my parents really worried and somewhat angry. It was a low point in my life because I ended up not going to the interview, and for the next few days I was constantly thinking about whether I was really cut out to do medicine.



therealbleach said:


> write me a script for an SSRI and I will friend you on SAS


Haha you should talk to your local family doctor about that! SSRIs are great especially if you also have underlying depression, but therapy with psychologists can be equally effective if it is predominantly anxiety.



eveningbat said:


> Congratulations! By the way, what sphere of medicine do you specialize in?


I'm still thinking about that at the moment, but whatever I end up doing, I really want to do something that can help people with social anxiety, either as my main work or as a side project.



arao6 said:


> Awesome! Congratulations!
> 
> If you don't mind, can you speak more about your experiences in medical school? I am starting medical school next fall, so I am curious.


Everyone has different experiences in medical school and I assume it would be more-so since you live in the US. One thing that would be common is that usually our anxiety and stress peak during transition periods over our careers. This would be things like the first few weeks starting medical school and having to make new friends, going from university lectures to clinical work in the hospital, as well as the anxiety of knowing you are about to finish med school, applying for internship positions and knowing you are about to have to take a much bigger responsibility for patients when you graduate. I think it's really important to have a psychologist and start some therapy if you have not already. Having great friends, either medical or non-medical, and family members to support you during these periods is also really helpful. I am thinking of starting a blog to write down my experiences, so if you're interested I can send you a link once I've written a few posts!


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## Lacking Serotonin (Nov 18, 2012)

Congratulations, what an achievement.


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## arao6 (Jul 12, 2013)

Tonberry said:


> I am thinking of starting a blog to write down my experiences, so if you're interested I can send you a link once I've written a few posts!


I'm very much interested in this! Reading about all the good and bad times will help me a lot. Thanks!


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## Crimson Lotus (Jul 26, 2013)

Congratulations Herr Doktor.

I can't imagine the incredible amount of courage it must take to achieve something so incredibly stressful while suffering from SAD. Truly admirable.


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## JoelNZ (Dec 20, 2013)

Congratulations!! I'm going back to college this year to study to be a social worker. Knowing that you accomplished this gives me more hope with my studies. Good on you. I really admire your accomplishment


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## Larkspur (Sep 30, 2009)

Congratulations! That is an amazing achievement! I hope you have a successful, fulfilling career. You've definitely earned it! :yay


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## ToughUnderdog (Jul 7, 2013)

Congrats Doc! That's a huge accomplishment! You'll definitely be one of those compassionate doctors that will actually help people with anxiety.


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## dcaffeine (Oct 26, 2013)

When I get a hernia, will you repair it?


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## Testsubject (Nov 25, 2013)

Congratulations!


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Tonberry said:


> It's definitely been a long road. Six years of medical school, full of a mixture of nerve-wracking, but also rewarding experiences. I finally graduated last month in December and started my job as a junior doctor this week!
> 
> Going through medical school and being a doctor can be a nightmare for anyone with social anxiety. It's highly stressful and you are often under scrutiny by the more senior doctors who give you evaluations. You are always working with people, and often you will have to perform procedures or speak in front of others. Medical schools are also full of some of the best and brightest, and that generates a lot of self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy, especially for me.
> 
> ...


 Well, congratulations, Doctor Tonberry! :boogie :boogie :boogie


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## JH1983 (Nov 14, 2013)

Congratulations!


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## VioletHour (Aug 26, 2013)

Congratulations! I want to thank you, I'm studying to be a doctor (hopefully) in the US. I came onto the site today, after not being on for a month, because life has shaken me, the anxiety is back, and I was wondering if medicine was really for me. Thanks for reminding me that medical school is more about your drive and perseverance. Best coincidence


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## peach123 (Dec 13, 2010)

Congratulations Tonberry!!!! You are an inspiration!!!!!


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

you should be very proud of yourself

Women love doctors


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## Dan the metalhead (Jan 7, 2014)

Congrats man!!!!


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## inerameia (Jan 26, 2012)

Congrats. That's a praiseworthy achievement.


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## Tonberry (Nov 14, 2013)

VioletHour said:


> Congratulations! I want to thank you, I'm studying to be a doctor (hopefully) in the US. I came onto the site today, after not being on for a month, because life has shaken me, the anxiety is back, and I was wondering if medicine was really for me. Thanks for reminding me that medical school is more about your drive and perseverance. Best coincidence


Hi VioletHour! I used to worry constantly about what you have probably been concerned about. A great mentor of mine once told me that there can't be just one kind of personality that's appropriate for being a doctor, and that different types of people bring different things to the table. While I'm definitely not the most talkative or outgoing, patients have told me they feel I'm someone who listens. My colleagues have also commented that when they see me with patients I look like I am genuinely concerned and care about what they say. Best of luck in your studies!



dcaffeine said:


> When I get a hernia, will you repair it?


You are way too young to be worrying about that! haha


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## General Specific (Mar 4, 2008)

That's fantastic news! Congrats mate. I wish I was smart enough to be a Doctor haha.


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## JAkDy (Jan 23, 2011)

Congratulations Dr. 'Tonberry'!!!
I've still got 2 years left (I'm in a 5yr program). Maybe one day we can cross as colleagues, seeing as we're both in Australia, and probably not even realise who we were on SAS.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

If I was a doc I would become a hair transplant surgeon. Think about it.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

That's great news, congratulations!


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## oood (Nov 1, 2012)

Massive congratulations, what a top achievement!


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