# South Florida?



## Kaylamm (May 8, 2012)

I know there isn't much anxiety support in south Florida. Would anyone want to start one?


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## MannyQ (Mar 23, 2012)

Hey I live in miami! start a support group? sounds absolutely interesting and sure I am 100% willing.

Here is my testimony I just posted on another thread

I know alot of you are struggling with anxiety and all sorts of issues in your life. I want to write this summary on how I became the way I was and how I was able to do the impossible.


Since elementry I was a very shy, humble and quiet kid. My kindness was abused and I was picked on severly. By middle school I was being totally humiliated (kids forced a banana down my throat as a joke, cut me with knives) etc. I didnt take it lightly although I did not psychically hurt them or unleash the pain I had inside.. I grew a strong emotion of how unfair life is so young (I witnessed many destruction and abuse in my family from cocaine, and deaths) and it caused my school life to go downhill were I didnt even have anyone to take me even though if I went I surely would become what you could call social anxiety..Come on I was depressed.. I was hurt, I started to hate humanity and this existance for I was in the school originally for 11 years straight and acustom myself to it. They expelled me for writing "War is good , crack is good, hate etc" Although childish and absolutely not true it was a way to vent my frustration rather than bullying others or consider killing others and myself as I was going psychotic. Imagine how I felt that none of those kids ever got in trouble.. However when I decided to finally go into high school after years of swapping schools I fell into hardcore drugs at the age of 16. I was doing cocaine, weed, and all sorts of illicit and psychedelic drugs as well. I was caught with it the second day of my brand new start in school and was once again expelled, but this time arrested..

I was ..destroyed...hopeless.. and by this age I was put on abilify and lexapro for two years already due to a rage attack I had at my families house that obviously wasnt normal for me...I had alot of it..and releasing just a bit caused damage. After this some years passed by were I got into the wrong crowds, surrounded by self destructive people and people that intentionally wanted to destroy my life although I didnt know because I was lonley and trust anyone, and lived a very dangerous and close to the grave lifestyle. I was hospitalized several times and one time the fire rescue of miami dade country used ammonia over my lips so that I can react (I was being unresponsive on purpose call it uncooperative) and they caused my lips to be split open in and cut up. The department called us and my father spoke to them and they apologized and made a new law in miami dade just because of me that it may not happen again. One of these hospitals also stuck a cathedar(I think thats what its called) in me which was a violation and very wrong as they stuck it in and ripped it with force right out to see if I react..as a test(with several attempts at sticking needles into me each attempt bigger size to make me talk) 

Anyways life was going very bad for me...weary..and tired every day I wanted to litterly take my life and how I contemplated blowing my head off with a shot gun (with it in my hand) In my later teens I was put on rispiridone, and celexa along with klonopin three times a day. At this point I was beyond reach. No one could save me..I nearly died a few times...so lucky to be alive (overdoses, suicide attempts, being around criminals and dangerous people)

I was 19 and about to turn 20 years old and my mother asked me if I would like to go to church on my birthday..normally growing up I would rebel against God and the likes saying that wont work, it looks stupid, or ive tried..little did I know what would happen that day.

The day of my birthday came along and I brought along my girlfriend in whom we been togethor for a couple years and heard the message. When I heard it I didnt know what to expect I simply was just hopeless, out of ideas..empty. When I heard that Jesus loves me and he came into the earth ..a holy God which is perfect for the plan of laying down his life for us that we may have life and life abundantly forever? I began to take this seriously..not just what the public makes it seem like..not the mockery that people make of it, or any hypocrisy, and not even the religous people for I knew that when I heard of Jesus this was much more than just religion or a church or pastor...for me he filled that empty void in which I desperatly looked left and right at all things..money, drugs, lust, material, success, and he gave me the meaning of life..its like it all makes sense because we live in a corrupt and dark world and men have no good in them but yet God is good, and his holy spirit works through us..without getting into that to detailed I gave my life to him in a prayer and asked for forgiveness of all the horrible things I was doing..

The same day I came out wondering what did I just get myself into..and my mother had played a video of my birth and I started to have a moment and cried..I said to myself..look how much my family loves me in that video.. how did I ever become who I was to hate them. I was simultaniously asking for forgiveness..and it had alot of meaning behind it as I was reborn in spirit through Christ, I was also watching that later and this happen to be the same day of my birthday! 

Back to the medicine..weeks passed by after that were I didnt think to much about the medicine I was taking.. but I started to notice side effects in myself that werent normal. I felt great and asked what could of been making me feel this way? I learned that most of the side effects I had (irritation, anxiety, fatigue, visual problems) etc were effects from use of the medicine. These doctors were ready to give me more and not consider that I could be a normal person that can do normal things. I was judged by what I said about my past leaving them with not a thought to consider how I have changed. Now this is were I was going to go through one of the hardest trial I ever faced. 

Getting off the medicine. I wasnt going anywhere with the psychiatrist as all of them and they are many diagnosed me differently . One said I had underlying schizophrenia, psychosis, and bipolar I. Another says I had a chemical imbalance (severe depression , anxiety) and they all had different opinions on what I should take.. I stood up for myself and new after finding the hope of The Lord I wasnt truly depressed, or hopeless.. Although my anxiety came from the medicine itself. I talked to my psychiatrist about getting off risperidal first and he said go for it..(Insane as your suppose to ween off...I was taking anti psychotics for almost six years) and I went through severe pain in the head, all of my side effects increased, pain in my eye/visual distortion, and migraines..daily. Three months later after stopping everything cold turkey I relapsed and could not take it..I was so fatigue that I considered this it it..utterly terrorizing to go through..and with a little research some of those side effects are common, for just one of the medicines. I became frustrated because I knew I couldnt stay on it longer although I started taking it again. I felt that way because even on the medicine I had the effects that I started originally and I said to myself thats not right..I shouldnt suffer for this. With advice from several people on the forum, different doctors, and PRAYER and FAITH through Jesus I was able to conqueor being on Risperidal, Celexa, Klonopin/Lorazapams, Ambien/Vistaril/Benadryls, etc. It was definetly not in my timing and in the norm it takes along time to recover but alot say that I may never recover..can you believe I have no diagnosis as of today and am perfectly fine and dont take anything? It is true.. I took alot of fish oil, multivitamins, antioxidens to help me through the fighting a relapse to take an anxiety med..I mean this was hard..but with God on my side I pulled through those chains of mental slavery. There is no such thing as a chemical imbalance..search it. 

I pray and would love for everyone to trust in the Lord and take the right steps if you are going through amazingly difficult trials in your life.. its not over..I promise. Never stop abruptly like I did, it never worked..but find hope , pray and ask and you shall recieve if you believe truely in your heart..ask for people with understanding to come into your life with knowledge in this matter..for help for strength...and it shall be given you.

Remember dont expect to be healed one day to another I dont know what God's plans for your life is! he may want to use to to help others that are hopeless and are suffering one day but all in his timing and his plan is 100x better than our human ways and our plans. It took me an entire year of devotion to get were I am. I have my moments and surely we are all not perfect...but what a difference people....its a testimony in itself to see people I used to know when they see me they are shocked because how changed I am..and I dont even have to mention Christ...

Thank you for being so kind to read and even consider my story..Its never the end..there is hope! if any of you have any particular questions pm me and I can answer or give you links to some sermons or bible verses..or just be there to help.

Manny 









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I would really want to help others here in south florida and would like to help you here or out there! 

Manny


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