# Religious and Non religious relationships



## Aurora

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## Desperate

I agree with you.. How does it work? I consider myself an open minded person.. I come from a Hispanic, Catholic family only I have decided that religion is not for me.. I believe God, I just don't believe the bible or going to church will "save" me. (Sorry if I offend anyone). My boyfriend is not religious either but if he was, I wouldn't care so much because I love him. As long as you can accept each other and love each other no matter what your beliefs are, then everything will work out just fine..


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## Madison_Rose

I couldn't have a serious, romantic relationship with anyone deeply religious. We'd just have views that were too different, about things that are too important. I love to have _friends_ with views different to mine (as long as they enjoy debate as much as I do and don't get offended too easily), but a significant other is different.

By the way, Aurora, what do you mean by "connect spiritually?" "Spiritual" is a word I hear a lot, but I don't know what people understand by it.


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## WineKitty

My husband doesnt share my beliefs....although he is spiritual in some sense and my creationist beliefs vary from his. We share so much else in common that it isnt that much of an issue. He isnt over the top and neither am I; And I am glad that we both are able to allow each other room for our beliefs or we wouldnt have the great relationship that we have. Almost nine years later...guess we have done something right.


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## screwjack

I've always wondered how this would work if one or both believed in one of those religions that condemns others (to hell or elsewhere) for not believing in what they do. I could still see love and respect happening I guess, but if you really thought your spouse was going to fry I don't see how that can ever be a healthy relationship.


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## SoloSage

Our neighbors have this exact type of relationship. The husband is a 'militant' atheist by my definition (and I'm an atheist myself), and his wife is one of the most 'Christian' Christians you'll ever meet! Truly bizarre really — and they've been married for over 20 years. I still don't know how their relationship works. Sometimes opposites really do attract.


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## bezoomny

I've only really dated or been interested in men who were either lapsed and indifferent or atheists. I just think that religion, especially for me, is an extremely private matter so that not having that in common really isn't an issue.


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## Anxiety75

I prefer to stick to Christians who have the same beliefs. I know from experiences I've heard that there are arguments and disputes because both people have differing beliefs and will not always get along because of it. Standards also are different with others' beliefs.

_A wife is bound during all the time her husband is alive. But if her husband should fall asleep [in death], she is free to be married to whom she wants, only in [the] Lord._ 1Corinthians 7:39

_Do not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers. For what fellowship do righteousness and lawlessness have? Or what sharing does light have with darkness_ 2 Corinthians 6:14


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## Neptunus

I'd rather date someone who has similar beliefs, as my religion is a big "part" of who I am. 
It is something I am not willing to hide, even if it means being single for the rest of my life.


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## bezoomny

Anxiety75 said:


> _A wife is bound during all the time her husband is alive. But if her husband should fall asleep [in death], she is free to be married to whom she wants, only in [the] Lord._ 1Corinthians 7:39
> 
> _Do not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers. For what fellowship do righteousness and lawlessness have? Or what sharing does light have with darkness_ 2 Corinthians 6:14


I assume that you don't say hello to or befriend non-Christians either, in accordance with the second book of John, verses 7-11.

Ah, Biblical literalism. Fun, eh?


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## IllusionOfHappiness

Anxiety75 said:


> _Do not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers. For what fellowship do righteousness and lawlessness have? Or what sharing does light have with darkness_ 2 Corinthians 6:14


So, religious people are the Light and the Righteous, while I, on the other hand, represent darkness and don't follow law.

Or did I interpret that wrong?

Don't tell me those are just comparisons that don't imply what I stated above.


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## bezoomny

IllusionOfHappiness said:


> So, religious people are the Light and the Righteous, while I, on the other hand, represent darkness and don't follow law.
> 
> Or did I interpret that wrong?
> 
> Don't tell me those are just comparisons that don't imply what I stated above.


Oh, there are way more offensive ones that could've been chosen, trust me.

I have a big issue with literal interpretation of the Bible.


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## justpassinby

Anxiety75 said:


> I prefer to stick to Christians who have the same beliefs. I know from experiences I've heard that there are arguments and disputes because both people have differing beliefs and will not always get along because of it. Standards also are different with others' beliefs.
> 
> _A wife is bound during all the time her husband is alive. But if her husband should fall asleep [in death], she is free to be married to whom she wants, only in [the] Lord._ 1Corinthians 7:39
> 
> _Do not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers. For what fellowship do righteousness and lawlessness have? Or what sharing does light have with darkness_ 2 Corinthians 6:14


I like these quotes 

Heres a good one my SO has memorized:

Ephesians 5:25-27 (New International Version)

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

IMO religion keeps men in line, they are accountable to God for their actions, seen or unseen. Also God serves as a great mediator between two people.


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## Ericisme

It's fine as long as you're not huge religious or non-religious people. The kind that constantly mentions "I love God" or prays or something(luckily not many are these days), or mocks God in any way. If either one of you are like that, odds are that'll be a lot of arguing. But if you're both just nice and normal people that don't make it the #1 thing in your life, then it should be fine. Just try to never bring it up.


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## Zephyr

bezoomny said:


> Oh, there are way more offensive ones that could've been chosen, trust me.
> 
> I have a big issue with literal interpretation of the Bible.


No one can possibly take it all literally. Some just go further than others. It's a gradient.

That quote from John you referenced....hoo boy. Never heard of that one beore. That might come in useful...


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## sprinter

Zephyr said:


> No one can possibly take it all literally. Some just go further than others. It's a gradient.
> 
> That quote from John you referenced....hoo boy. Never heard of that one beore. That might come in useful...


It might be useful to look it up in a Bible handbook first because that is talking about* false evangelists* teaching false christian doctrine like the one that Jesus wasn't a flesh and blood human being but rather came to earth only as a spirit being. "Many deceivers, who do not acknowledge Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh"


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## hyacinth_dragon

Most people I meet are atheists or some sort of nontraditional xtian who thinks evolution is plausible so I don't see religion as a problem.


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## yellowpaper

I don't think I could connect well with a highly religious/spiritual person. I'm not religious or spiritual at all. My ex suddenly became a buddhist and that did nooot work out. My best friend is Muslim. It's never been an issue, because our personalities are so alike. I'm a vegan, and she's never questioned it at all, because she views it as on the lvl of her religion. Plus neither of us have extreme views and are relaxed on the topic... would rather not discuss it anyways. Her bf is a Catholic. Not an issue there either (other than disapproving parents). So, if we're on a similar level... share values, live in a similar reality, then religion will not interfere with our relationship.


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## bezoomny

sprinter said:


> It might be useful to look it up in a Bible handbook first because that is talking about* false evangelists* teaching false christian doctrine like the one that Jesus wasn't a flesh and blood human being but rather came to earth only as a spirit being. "Many deceivers, who do not acknowledge Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh"


Y'see, that's an interpretation, not literalism. Did he say 'false evangelists'? No. He might mean false evangelists, but it doesn't change what is in the wording of the Bible itself.


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## Canadian Brotha

I think the degree of influence and/or significance of the religious/spiritual(or non-religious/spiritual) belief is the deciding factor in these types of relationships. For those whose religious/spiritual(or non-religious/spiritual) beliefs are what I would called "functional", that is they believe(or not) but are liberal with regard to the ways of others, such relationships would appear to have the same 50/50 chance as those without this factor. But for the extreme/fanatical people involved in whatever belief system surely things would go awry rather quickly if they could even manage to start a relationship


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## TruSeeker777

bezoomny said:


> Y'see, that's an interpretation, not literalism. Did he say 'false evangelists'? No. He might mean false evangelists, but it doesn't change what is in the wording of the Bible itself.


It's pretty close. In the KJV, the Greek word for "deceiver" and "deceivers" in 2 John 1:7 is "planos". That word is defined as wandering, corrupter, roving, misleading, leading into error, imposter, deceiver. Those words say a lot on their own and imply something or someone assuming a false identity or title for the purpose of deception.

It's pretty well known that in those days (and these days as well) as missionaries and evangelists traveled to different areas testifying to the truth of Christ, they were invited into and stayed in the homes of other Christians. This is even mentioned in 2 John 1:10:

"If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed."

The Greek word for doctrine in that verse is "Didache" defined as teaching or instruction and is taken from the root word "Didasko" defined as to teach or impart instruction.

The Greek word for receive in that verse is "Lambano" defined as to take.

By defining the words in Greek, it's pretty clear to me (yes, my interpretation) that John is addressing this letter to fellow Christians about imposters of the Christian faith and teachings.

I used http://www.studylight.org for this word study, and searched the passage using KJV with Strong's Numbers, clicking on the underlined words to find the Greek words/definitions. It's a nifty little website.

Sorry if this was t


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## screwjack

bezoomny said:


> Y'see, that's an interpretation, not literalism. Did he say 'false evangelists'? No. He might mean false evangelists, but it doesn't change what is in the wording of the Bible itself.


Even if it only means "false evangelist" it dosen't sound so hot. I guess jews, muslims, unitarian universalist et al can't be friends with christians.


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## TruSeeker777

screwjack said:


> Even if it only means "false evangelist" it dosen't sound so hot. I guess jews, muslims, unitarian universalist et al can't be friends with christians.


I don't see it that way at all. Christians are commanded to "love your neighbor"...period; not love only your Christian neighbors.

I liken the false evangelist (or deceiver) to be like if someone joined this forum for ulterior motives (deception), claiming to have personally struggled with SA but really hadn't (imposter) but found a cure and now wants to share that cure with us, making a complete mockery out of SA and those genuinely affected by it. Once we found out, we would more than likely tell others, the ones truly suffering with SA, to stay away from this person who is posing as "one of us" and trying to mislead us for his or her own personal gain.


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## Cerberus

It really comes down to how tolerant the people are. There are certainly challenges that come with those kind of relationships though, especially if there are children involved. If one parent is intolerant of the other parent's values, and only wants their child(ren) to receive the intolerant parent's values, there will be problems. If both parents are intolerant of each others values and beliefs or one is, they should not be married. 

Ideally, those kinds of relationships would allow the child to make up his or her own mind. However, that kind of thing can lead to jealousy (one parent doesn't like that another parent is more influential or whatever). Parents in those kind of relationships would have to be highly mature and tolerant.


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## slyfox

It doesn't work very well with my parents. My dad is an atheist and he is always belittling my mom's Christian beliefs.  He likes to put Christian channels on TV and mock them. Stuff like this happens on almost a daily basis. He seems to get joy out or tormenting her in one way or another. I'm not saying all atheists are like this. My dad is just a jerk.

One good thing is that I'm more independent in my beliefs. I'm not a Christian, but I'm also not an atheist. I've persued knowledge of various religions on my own. In the end I've found that I don't like to limit myself to any one religion. Organized religion is not for me.


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## UltraShy

It would only work if she accepted me as I am. I don't believe in anything supernatural, I never have believed, and I'm never going to believe it unless I see it which I don't expect will ever happen.

It could work if she doesn't feel the need for me to agree with her on everything and isn't determined to "save my soul". I imagine there'd need to be a "don't ask, don't tell" policy in place where she doesn't tell me about her church or about some passage from her bible and thus I can avoid telling her what I think of it.


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## espearite

You know, I really couldn't tell you unless you actually look at some examples. It would depress me if my partner did not have the same belief system, especially if he did not acknowledge the existence of God.


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## elvm

I enjoy being friends with people from many different backgrounds, but i don't think i could be in a serious relationship with someone who wasn't some type of atheist/agnostic, ect. Science plays a big part in my life, perhaps in the same way religion plays in others, so i think it's perfectly understandable to want to be with someone who has the same ideals.


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## SilentLoner

elvm said:


> I enjoy being friends with people from many different backgrounds, but i don't think i could be in a serious relationship with someone who wasn't some type of atheist/agnostic, ect. Science plays a big part in my life, perhaps in the same way religion plays in others, so i think it's perfectly understandable to want to be with someone who has the same ideals.


:ditto


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## this portrait

Part of me doesn't really care what a guy's religious beliefs are as long as we get along, but then I would kind of prefer to date someone who is sort of like me: holding a belief in God, but not taking part in any specific traditions.


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## Phibes

*READ THIS GUYS*

*Do I have to change religions to train?*
You don't need to change anything. Stay believing whatever you believe, whether it's in God, Jesus, Moses, Muhammad or anyone else. I believe in them all. I believe in all of the religion's special leaders, they all teach people to be good people, to only do good things, not to do bad, and to help other people. All of them just have different names, I believe in them all, love them all, and I believe they love us too. When you come to the Temple, you don't need to change what you believe, change religions, shave your head, or become a vegetarian. I do not teach Chinese philosophy, I teach International philosophy. I encourage my students, disciples, and followers to go to church, go to monasteries, go to mosques, to open their minds and open their hearts. Learn all of the philosophies and combine them together - that's your philosophy. Just like in the martial arts world, there are many styles, karate, tae kwon do, jiu jitsu, muay thai, and hundreds more. Whatever style you practice, it doesn't matter - learn all of the styles, combine them together, and that's your style. That way, you can get the knowledge for yourself, and share it with other people.

Quoted from "http://www.usashaolintemple.org/chanbuddhism/"

It's what a shaolin monk has to say about the issue.

 God I love buddhism, I think of myself as a christian too.


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## jmoop

I don't think I would match well with a person who does not share my beliefs or at least doesn't respect my religion. I am not good at arguments or debate and could not spend the rest of my life with someone who would constantly berate me for having different beliefs. I do go to church and I would never hear the end of it if my future husband didn't go as well...


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## Daylight

I wouldn't mind dating a girl who believes in a talking snake, but if the girl and her family tries to force religion on me, there will be problems.


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## Paul

Though they can be friends, I doubt I could be in a relationship with someone whose strongly-held beliefs I consider fully irrational. I just wouldn't be able to respect them as much or connect as well as if I felt they were living in the real world. That rules out conspiracy theorists and paranormalists and most religious people, but not all. I've encountered a few religious people who are reasonable and open-minded and not overly sure of themselves, who've just come to different conclusions than I have.


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## TheGecko

I'm an atheist but I acknowledge the literary and philosophical values from various religions and a lot of them form the basis of my own personal morality (treat others as I would like to be treated, paraphrasing here - sorry if that's inaccurate). I don't think people in a relationship have to agree on *everything* and unless they were the type who told me I was going to burn in hell fire for all eternity I don't see why it wouldn't work. The girl I want to be with is Christian and I think we get along great.


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## caflme

This was in our Homily last Sunday and I agree with what our Priest said... he said that it is about knowing and believing and spreading the truth through the divine inspiration of the Holy Spirit because you are called to by God versus wanting to look good, be popular and falsely respected because you are proclaiming to be a 'Christian' and promoting things that suit you and make 'you' look good and feel more 'important' instead of doing the Will of God and spreading His truth. Those are the deceivers we are not supposed to interact with. Like not going to a Church that is all about money and popularity and show. Or not hanging with fake people who are all about themselves and pretend to be all about God. That is who the deceivers are... and they can lead you astray.

Jesus came for sinners not saints... he dined with sinners, the poor and the suffering and interacted with sinners not the pious. I figure the greatest battles are won when someone who is depressed, sad or lonely smiles, when someone who has no food gets to sit down to a meal, when someone who feels worthless has someone look at them with respect and interest, that is what true Christians are called to do. As far as going to Church, it is to form a community of like-minded believers, there is strength in numbers and people can accomplish a lot when they work together, plus when we share common experiences those experiences take on a greater meaning because we feel less alone - that is what Church is about. Plus, as a Catholic, we believe that going to Church is about being invited to Christ's home, dining with him, visiting him and talking to him intimately in his home... we believe that he physically manifests himself in the bread and wine so that he can become one with us and form a bond that strengthens us and gives us the power to overcome our fears, sinful natures and our anxieties... I know it sure helps me.

Sorry this was so long.


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## AussiePea

wow how did I miss this thread before. My last and only relationship didn't work out for two reasons, one was my SA but the other was our different beliefs.

Being Afrikaans she was very religious (Christian) and although I knew this from the start I didn't really realise just how important a role religion plays in peoples lives who really do take it seriously.

I definitely respected her beliefs but there was no way I could live with them, specially when they would have such a large impact on how children would be brought up etc.

So can it work?? Well I'm sure it could but there would need to be so much respect in eachothers beliefs and yet I'm sure rules would also need to be broken in a faith along the way, and whether or not this would be worth it or not I guess is the big question. But for me, being with a very religious person could simply not work.


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## radames

Well, being brought up as a pastor's son twice over (my biological dad was one and my adoptive father is one too) it seemed that I had no choice in the matter and would have to end up with an angel on earth as a wife; or end up being the rebel that most preacher's boys end up being.

The good thing was that I didn't catch onto the favoritism that is prevalent in a lot of churches and mostly saw God as my only friend throughout life (because of my SA).

Having gone through idealistic thoughts and mindsets growing up I never really knew what I really wanted and based my understanding of what I SHOULD want and need from those around me. So, the religious leaders, my parents, professors, youth group leaders, all had a chance to guide me in some way and the conglomeration of their snippets of advice and "inspiring insights" had me going crazy trying to figure out what I should do and where I should go in life.

Anyway, the simplicity of my beliefs have weathered a lot of life's storms while stretching me out in many different ways; including who God would bring me for a wife. I had a crush on a girl who was involved with black magic (in my rebellious phase) and her psychic powers were impressive enough but I didn't feel any kind of growth or development from my association with her.

To sum things up, I didn't think that I deserved a woman who was a genuine believer in God and Christ yet I ended up with one who was exactly like this. So, in the end, I realized that though the spiritual mystery of other approaches seem intriguing and thought-provoking, I liked the fulfillment of a simple faith in the Lord that I have found in my wife excluding all of the flowery and bombastic stimulants that can be found in the variety of denominations and paths out there. There can be great adventure in our spiritual beliefs and philosophical analyses yet I am more refreshed in a redundant, consistent, and trustworthy sabbath rest in the Lord found in my wife. Oh yeah, I get a lot of adventure and laughs with her too. :duel :boogie


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## loona

*hi*

thats very true
but you know what't
at least in your country they wont kill you for who you are
come to muslim countries
and people will hate you if they know you're not muslim
so islam really do kill for geting out the relgion
so imagen how a muslim partner will act with you if knows that you're not muslim
it's hell
sorry
but this is how life is here
no freedom

thanks


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## mightyman

alot of agnostics here


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## izzy

My dad is Atheist and he married a woman who's religious. She used to be Mormon...I know she's Christian, but I don't know if she affiliates with a certain denomination. They get along quite well.


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## UltraShy

The only woman I ever really loved was Lutheran and would go to church every Sunday.

The issue rarely came up as she never behaved in any manner that would indicate her religion, other than the going to church thing. I never saw a bible or any other x-tian stuff at her place. She never tried to convert me.

She invited me to go to church with her; I replied that Atheists burst into flames upon entering churches.


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## Dane

I don't know how such relationships work. I guess for some people opposites attract (I think someone already mentioned this) or else they fall for a person based completely on personality and not on values. I'm not like that; I'm attracted to women who have beliefs in common with mine. 

There was an interesting newspaper article I read a long time ago about a couple who had been married for decades, one was a Mormon and the other was a denomination of Christian that believed the Mormon religion was a creation of the Devil. Unfortunately I forget the details of the article except that they had decided not to have children because of their differing beliefs.


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## Kevin001

It would be tough for me. I want someone who puts God first. I want someone that will grow with me in faith not pull me a way. Without God relationships tend to fail. But hey you never know.


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## SFC01

Mi laik jamaican rast girl, dem ah beautiful, praise jah.


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