# Ever been in the hospital?



## nursingstudent (Nov 12, 2008)

I am trying to write a short paper on hospital experiences. I would love for everyone to share their stories with me. I am a nursing student and my younger brother tried to commit suicide twice due to depression caused by his social anxiety. 
*Was your time in the hospital a positive experience?
What made it positive/negative?
Did the health professionals you came in contact with influence your experience (nurses, doctors, etc.)?
Did you feel any judgement in any way, shape or form (age, gender, health problems, history)?
What would have made your experience better?
Is there a better way of treating patients in your circumstances?
What did you gain from being in the hospital?
Did your assumptions of the hospital and psychiatric wards influence your experience?
*


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## dax (Nov 19, 2004)

Do you mean in the hospital for anything or due to depression/SA? BTW I am very sorry to hear about your brother, I hope he is doing better.


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## nursingstudent (Nov 12, 2008)

Thanks. I am mainly looking for hospitalizations due to mental illness.


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## Nottalkin (Nov 12, 2008)

nursingstudent said:


> I am trying to write a short paper on hospital experiences. I would love for everyone to share their stories with me. I am a nursing student and my younger brother tried to commit suicide twice due to depression caused by his social anxiety.
> *Was your time in the hospital a positive experience?
> What made it positive/negative?
> Did the health professionals you came in contact with influence your experience (nurses, doctors, etc.)?
> ...


I was in the hospital twice:

Once when I broke my arm snow boarding the other cause I had a panic attack and thought I was gonna die.

The second was really scary I thought I was having a heart attack and passed out.

Thankfully I don't have that many panic attacks and that was definitely the worst one. But you never know :afr


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## nursingstudent (Nov 12, 2008)

Thanks for your story Nottalkin!


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

nursingstudent said:


> I am trying to write a short paper on hospital experiences. I would love for everyone to share their stories with me. I am a nursing student and my younger brother tried to commit suicide twice due to depression caused by his social anxiety.
> *Was your time in the hospital a positive experience?
> What made it positive/negative?
> Did the health professionals you came in contact with influence your experience (nurses, doctors, etc.)?
> ...


I've been to the psych ward 4 times now. Two of them were negative experiences at one **** hole hospital and the other two were good at a depression treatment psych hospital. The people there make it positive or negative. There were some good nurses some bad, same with docs. I didnt feel judged by the patients but i did by the staff; to them I was a "crazy" person(which I guess I am). It woulda been better if they fire some of the people who just plain dont like their job and make everyone else miserable with them. Id rather try to improve my life than sit in a stupid psych ward. I gained the title of "crazy" person from being in a psych ward as many times as i did. And lastly, no my assumptions didnt influence my experience.

Edit: those were just the times ive been hospitalized for mental illness, ive been in the hospital MANY more times than that.


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

I can write a good very reflective short story on everything in my adolescent inpatient hospital stays. For a person who couldn't communicate at all at much at the time, it was a horrible experience.


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## nursingstudent (Nov 12, 2008)

Thank-you for sharing your stories!


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## copper (Nov 10, 2003)

I use to work in an alternative Psyche unit as an overnight Psyche tech. It was in an old Victorian mansion. I think it was a very good program for people that didn't need to be put in a big hospital psyche unit. It was like a big family there. Too bad they couldn't compete with the big city hospitals. They closed down after only being open for a few months. I learned a lot about mental illness while working there. I even learned a lot about multiple personality disorder. We had a lady that had like 20 personalities and I seen a few of them while she was there. One was the German housewife that spoke fluent German. I come in one day and she is rambling on in German. She made the best meal I ever ate. Then I seen when she was the 5 year old girl. She tried running out of the house until I stopped her. She was talking like a 5 year old girl. Another personality was the artist. She was a very good artist. She even did a charcoal drawing of her Psychiatrist.


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## michellejl (Aug 20, 2006)

I lived in a smaller town and was hospitalized but it was just a town hospital with no psych ward or psychiatrist. I basically lived there off an on and was allowed to go to school but then had to return to the hospital. I didn't mind being in the hospital because it was a lot better than living in the foster home. Of course this had social implications living part time in the hospital. But at the time, it wasn't a big concern and was already thought of negatively by my peers before this happened anyway.The staff were nice, although this was 13 years ago and can't remember too many details of my stay, sorry.

Later that year I was also transferred to the city psych ward for a short time for attempting suicide after I begged my parents to sign me out of the town hospital against the doctor's wishes. I went back to the foster home but it was only a matter of days before I ended up in the city. I remember the recreation part of it being the highlight. I got to do activities with other people around my age that could relate. Also, I liked that we didn't have to get up at a certain time, if we felt like eating breakfast we went down. It was more of a dining room not eating in your room. From what I remember the psychiatrist who saw me seemed "crazier" than I was. I don't remember any of the nurses. As bad as this sounds, one positive experience was that I saw that there were people a lot more worse off than I was. Like the man who was convinced he was pregnant. It was a very interesting and eye opening experience. Another positive was that I got to talk to a couple of other people about their similar experiences, and had NEVER had anyone to relate to before then. 

Last year I ended up volunteering at that psych ward and loved it. I hope to work there or in mental health when I'm done school for recreation therapist.

The nurses on that ward are AWESOME!! One even went home and got me eggs so I could bake with the clients!!

Good luck with your paper and your schooling.


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## nursingstudent (Nov 12, 2008)

What an awesome story! I am glad to hear that you are doing better and good luck with your schooling! You will be a great recreation therapist!!


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## Sierra83 (Sep 24, 2007)

Was your time in the hospital a positive experience?
At first it was not because I felt a sense of imprisonment, but I left feeling like it was overall a positive experience.
What made it positive/negative? My doctors were very patient and caring. 
Did the health professionals you came in contact with influence your experience (nurses, doctors, etc.)? Absolutely, I wouldn't be where I am today without them.
Did you feel any judgement in any way, shape or form (age, gender, health problems, history)? No judgment that I can recall.
What would have made your experience better? Perhaps allowing relationships in the psych ward, but I now understand why they frowned upon it.
Is there a better way of treating patients in your circumstances? Not really. Well, one small thing, having to do with having healthier food in the fridge for night time snacking 
What did you gain from being in the hospital? Myself, basically. I became a much calmer, better version of myself.
Did your assumptions of the hospital and psychiatric wards influence your experience? Yes, I was very resistant toward it because I felt I would be treated like a prisoner, but gradually I gained privileges while I was there.


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## nursingstudent (Nov 12, 2008)

I am glad you had such a great hospital experience Sierra83! Thanks for sharing!


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

Was your time in the hospital a positive experience? yes
What made it positive/negative? food and location
Did the health professionals you came in contact with influence your experience (nurses, doctors, etc.)? no
Did you feel any judgement in any way, shape or form (age, gender, health problems, history)? no
What would have made your experience better? interpersonal therapy
Is there a better way of treating patients in your circumstances? no
What did you gain from being in the hospital? nothing
Did your assumptions of the hospital and psychiatric wards influence your experience? yes, I knew their would be other people suffering some form of mental health problem worse off than myself.


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## Venus (Feb 4, 2009)

I was at the hospital for a month and bit. I didn't really volunteer but I wasn't forced either. Long story short, I went in because I was hearing voices. I didn't like any of the therapist there, or most of the nurses. I did like my admitting nurse though, she kept trying to be my head nurse but it never worked out. 

It was really tough for me during breakfast, lunch and dinner because a huge trigger for me is eating around others and they wouldn't give me that choice, I think that if they did I wold have felt more comfortable in my surroundings. I did feel judgment not from the therapists there but one I had after, not because of anything in particular, to me it just felt like I was a joke to her. 

I did get a little bit out of it though. Some stuff was worked out and I got properly diagnosed, but all and all I wouldn't say it was a good experience. I don't think I had any assumptions of what it would be like, I knew it would suck and it did.


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## screwjack (Dec 19, 2008)

I chose jail over going to the hospital when I was suicidal (I lied and said I had only been drinking, played off wanting to kill myself) because I have a phobia of hospitalization. Maybe it would have been more beneficial if I was committed at the time. Sorry I can't help.


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## stealyourface722 (Aug 31, 2008)

ive been to the hospital a few times. They just gave me real generic medicines. Ones with a ton of side effects. Like the ones that are gold standard efficiancy even though hardly anyone can tolerate the side effects. like zyprexa 
Then they put me on effexor and my blood pressure and heart rate went way up and I knew the drug was not for me the first day I took it, but I had no other choice really because they just throw you on medicines and you leave. I wanted to stay there and figure this stuff out but I was discharged after a few weeks which was a really long time there.


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

Yes, for a suicide attempt.

I found the whole stay very frightening. I was thrown in with every other teen, so I was mixed in with drug addicts, alcoholics, violent people and firestarters. I didn't really feel like I improved at all, I just learned how to fake improvement enough for the doctors.

The forced intimacy with all these random kids was something I've never experienced before or since. That probably helped me the most, being able to actually communicate with kids my own age.

I really wish that the treatment had been more specialized. We had so many different issues going on that group therapy became kind of pointless. What helped the antisocial get over his violent tendencies didn't help the manic depressive or the social phobic. In particular, the drug addicts and alcoholics should have been separated out, because what they were going through was completely different and unrelatable to what the rest of us were going through (some were detoxing and going through withdrawal in the psych ward, which was bizarre).

Through my stay in a hospital, I have learned to never admit to suicidal ideation ever, or I'll get thrown right back in. That's really it, though.

Going in, the only ideas I had of what a hospital was all about came from _One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. _So that was probably unhelpful, but I don't think it negatively influenced me.


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## Aurora (Feb 27, 2009)

When I was 15, Id run away from home everynight getting into all sorts of trouble. My social worker at the time, told me I was going on a camp which I wasnt too keen on anyway. :no Didnt get off to a good start by lieing to me about where I was going. 
Walked into the adolescent psychiatric ward and they locked the door behind me. My anxiety peeked in there. It was hell for me. I didnt want to join in the activities, I didnt want to go eat at a table, I hated the nurses watching me closely and telling me what to do, they took all my things off me! I hated being there. I muted myself. Didnt talk to anyone in there. I just wondered what the heck I was doing there and what was wrong with me.
There was all sorts of young people in there. But I was too scared to talk to any of them. I just watched and cried alot.

After a week they put me in an outpatient program run downstairs in the hospital. Everyday Id spend the day with a group of young people and we'd do things like go to the snow, bowling, gym etc as well as talking in a group therapy type thing. It was very structured but in a fun kind of way that a young person would enjoy and could warm up to. I enjoyed that more at the time. I came out of my shell there.


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## Aurora (Feb 27, 2009)

Was your time in the hospital a positive experience? I would say no, but the outpatient program worked at the time.

What made it positive/negative? No communication with me, I felt alone and locked up.

Did the health professionals you came in contact with influence your experience (nurses, doctors, etc.)? Yes, there was no communication from them.

Did you feel any judgement in any way, shape or form (age, gender, health problems, history)? Yes, but not in any specific way, just felt 'watched' all the time.

What would have made your experience better? If the health workers actually told me what was going on and were more open to me, or took more time to talk to me.

Is there a better way of treating patients in your circumstances?
The outpatient program was good for young people. 

What did you gain from being in the hospital?
An understanding of the mental health system... and that hospital is not a nice place to be.

Did your assumptions of the hospital and psychiatric wards influence your experience?
No, the experience was exactly what I pictured a psych ward to be. Depressing.

Sorry this was meant to be in my last post... and oops I just realised its an old thread. :eek


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## PCUluv (Mar 12, 2009)

*PCU Experience: Care Giver-Patient Relationship*

This is the type of research I am doing in Canada and is reflected in Norah Vincent's work Voluntary Madness. Nobody knows yet if I have a mental disorder and my assessment is in April. In the last two months I have been in short stay and a mixed-stay ward. The first time I went into short stay was due to suicidal thoughts and my brother worring about me. In addition, the res psych at the hospital emerge said something about anxiety. I was so out of myself that night.....didn't remember much. All I remember is that I had a previous female friend come over to the hospital to drive my vehicle back to her place. The ironic thing is she has conversion anxiety.

My first experiences with hospitals have been in my childhood many times for medical stuff and then I helped my female friend through her time of need.

48-Hours of Darkness (might shape into my autobiography)

This includes Feb. 27 weekend admittance and March 6 weekend admittance, as well as many hospital stays because of self-harming from March 1st-2nd. Nobody would admit me becuase of not being in immediate suicidal danger at the hospital. Rather the thoughts and actions I would have came after I got discharged or when I was away from the hospital. Last week Wednesday I stayed up from 4:45 in the morning till 8 in the evening over a two day period, enduring 5 hour waits for the acute care in one hospital (transcribing, since the computers were down).

Just this last weekend I was admitted into an interesting ward. My experience over all was quite good and enjoyed being in this section of the hospital. My stay wasn't necessarily a crutch because to me I had legitimate reasons why I was there. You normally look towards the hospitals for medical safety, and in this case I recognized I wasn't safe.

Before I was admitted, I had gone through many rejections despite my self-harming. And even the mobile response team in my city rejected help in a time when I was pretty serious about killing myself. They belittled me and undermined trust with a counselor, where I thought my secrets were private. Sitting on the table was a letter from my mental health counselor asking to be redirected back to her. I was enraged and was lucky I didn't hurt anybody.

While staying in Ward 49 (won't say what hospital) I realized the nature of such a place. Very devoid of any emotion and very stark white walls. I actually lifted the spirits of the ward and everybody that was being treated since I hadn't been prescribed meds; I was the happiest one there. I also realized through talking with the patients that the meds helped but were extremely damaging to the emotional spirit. Some patients commented on other patients that had been their for months, confined by the drugs they were taking, some of it unneccessarily. One had been "jailed" in the ward by her father because of some religious beliefs.

On discharge I greeted all my friends in the ward good luck and even wrote a letter of encouragment to the girl who was detained by her religion. Everybody had liked me and we all had some good laughs at the nurses. I was even able to change my name on the board from "Confidential" to "aka Half-X" and no nurse asked me about that change. It was definitely a place I needed to go. Couple of the patients and me were talking about ward shirts for everbody on the floor. That go me thinking about a Fubu shirt or jersey tagged with the number 49, and "No Emotion' stylized. LOL.

*Was your time in the hospital a positive experience?*
Yes
*What made it positive/negative?*
The people who thought they were abnormal. One patient said that sometimes the people in the wards are lot kinder, easy-going than the people on the outside. I agree!
*Did the health professionals you came in contact with influence your experience (nurses, doctors, etc.)?*
Two nurses were good and got me to fill out a form called a Tidal Wave model. I saw no medical doctors, despite my rare medical condition that is apparently predisposed to psychiatric conditions. One insightful on-call psychiatrist.
*Did you feel any judgement in any way, shape or form (age, gender, health problems, history)?*
They didn't look at my medical problem and judged me therefore stritcly on clinical psychiatric terms.
*What would have made your experience better?*
To stay in the ward, work through my main issues with the nurses and CBT, continuing to boost my morale, self-esteem, and worth.
*Is there a better way of treating patients in your circumstances?*
My research will hopefully open a better dorway to diganosis/therapy for people with my combination of syndromes and mental disorders (?).
*What did you gain from being in the hospital?*
I gained self-esteem, worth in the form of small successful steps of improvement, and feeling more valid. Also getting helpe while helping others.
*Did your assumptions of the hospital and psychiatric wards influence your experience?*
Yes on admittance I was freaked out and pretty anxious. All they wanted to give me was Olanzapine. I never did take those wacked out drugs.

Closing:

Every time I get out of one of these places I feel worse and more dangerous. Yesterday evening I went from self-harming with out sharp objects to self-harming with knives. I am unsure why I commit the actions I do because I can't explain it. Their just impulses maybe rooted in deep childhood experiences such as abuse. The system/doctors just don't get the dynamics of my situtation. I have to say though that being alive and happy in a psych ward is in direct correlation to my faith and relationship in God. That's why I am here to still tell you the story of my darkess hours trying to get help from supposed safe instiutions. Our healthcare ssytem isn't that much better, theirs advantages/disadvantages to both sides of our health care systems.


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