# Anyone else feel like you don't have anything to talk about/say?



## runner13 (Dec 12, 2016)

I'm awkward to the extreme


----------



## Excaliber (May 16, 2015)

Depends on the situation, but more often then not I end up feeling like I've exhausted content to talk about so it becomes very difficult for me to keep the conversation going.


----------



## PepeSylvia (Dec 1, 2016)

Yea, a lot of times my mind goes blank and I can't think of what to say to keep the conversation going.


----------



## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

Yes, like when i'm having a conversation with someone about random stuff, i mostly feel bored talking to them and just want to be alone in my own thoughts. I usually have the right questions to ask, to keep the convo going without having a silence between and feel super awkward about it. I really try each time but i'm having no satisfaction about it...


----------



## Crisigv (Aug 3, 2013)

Yes, this is where a lot of my SA comes from.


----------



## Kilgore Trout (Aug 10, 2014)

Most of the time this :


Overdrive said:


> Yes, like when i'm having a conversation with someone about random stuff, i mostly feel bored talking to them and just want to be alone in my own thoughts. I usually have the right questions to ask, to keep the convo going without having a silence between and feel super awkward about it. I really try each time but i'm having no satisfaction about it...


Because people usually bore me.
But sometimes I'm actually interested in the subject but don't say anything because I feel my knowledge of the subject isn't enough and I'm afraid I'll say something stupid.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Everchanger (Dec 7, 2016)

You're definitely not alone; this is me all the time. It gets extremely awkward when you have absolutely nothing to say. Your mind goes blank and you can't even dig up a simple sentence to say. I can't even go off of someone else's sentence to keep the conversation going. It's extremely frustrating.


----------



## andy0128 (Dec 19, 2003)

Yeah with most people i find it really difficult to have conversations. I may be able to respond to the first thing they say althoughnot always but after that it's a real struggle. I'm really bad with smalltalk. Quite often i just smile in response.


----------



## gtanil (Dec 17, 2016)

I have no one to talk to. Started in the 6th grade when people just ignored me in the middle of a conversatino I was having with them. After some time I just kept talking although the listener was not listening anymore. To be honest, I don't really care anymore.


----------



## Leenalee (Jul 14, 2015)

I can never continue and keep up with conversations which is why I can't meet new people and even when I do try to talk I feel like I bore them.


----------



## SamanthaStrange (Jan 13, 2015)

Yes.


----------



## Chillyy (Sep 20, 2016)

Yep, and that's why I can't make friends.


----------



## MadAlice (Dec 18, 2016)

I feel that way all the time because my mind goes blank and I have so much difficulty putting my thoughts into words. Doesn't help that I don't have much life experience and have trouble recalling past events. I feel so much pressure to say something funny or interesting and I fail every time.

Even replying to a thread here is difficult for me, I want to say something but nothing feels right, so I write, erase, write again, erase again... Like I did now. I'm slowly trying to improve that aspect by forcing myself to post on this forum and get a little exposure.


----------



## SoTired93 (Dec 22, 2016)

All the time.

I recently went to a wedding and it was glaringly obvious that I was the most boring person in the group and the more I became aware of it, the more I thought everyone else could tell, and then I just sat there. It was uncomfortable to say the least.


----------



## Herzeleid (Dec 14, 2016)

Yeah, mostly because my only interests are pretty much music and a couple of TV shows.
When I'm talking to someone online is easier because well I have time to think about what to say, but irl I'm always blank.


----------



## chaoticgalaxy (Dec 23, 2016)

For sure, but I'm kind of weird in the fact that I absolutely hate small talk. Don't try and talk to me about the weather or how great your great aunts foot problem is getting.

I love delving into bigger topics like how things work, how people think, their muses, etc. I like deep conversations
Otherwise, count me out


----------



## teopap (May 12, 2013)

I never have anything to say and I look like I'm cold and distant. If I make great efforts to find something to talk about, the usual result is a brain fart.


----------



## StorageMunters (Jun 20, 2015)

Uhuh. If I force myself to speak I usually come out with something completely irrelevant to the topic, leading to me getting ignored...

I've tried looking up advice for this online, and have read many an article on conversation tips only to subsequently forget it all in a real life setting lol...


----------



## StorageMunters (Jun 20, 2015)

MadAlice said:


> I feel so much pressure to say something funny or interesting and I fail every time.


Do you think about a conversation afterwards and come up with perfect response about several hours after the moment has passed? I hate it when that happens : / lol


----------



## EBecca (Oct 15, 2016)

Well, I'm not sure how to answer that, cause most of the time I don't know what to say, especially when I talk to more than one person at a time, but I am actually really talkative if I feel comfortable and can say a lot to any topic. If I start discussing something interesting it's hard for me to stop... But as I said most of the time I keep quiet. I think my problem is just anxiety that blocks my thoughts :/...


----------



## Pongowaffle (Jul 23, 2015)

Yes. The less of a social life you have, the less you have to share and talk about. And this makes it even harder to bond, make friends and relationships and develop a social life. Eventually it becomes a constantly sinking complementary effect.


----------



## MadAlice (Dec 18, 2016)

StorageMunters said:


> Do you think about a conversation afterwards and come up with perfect response about several hours after the moment has passed? I hate it when that happens : / lol


YES! It happens to me all the time. Even weeks after. It's so frustrating.


----------



## Alexander0 (Aug 29, 2014)

It's weird. With people i know i could talk for hours about everything. I could talk to everyone when i was younger, but isolating myself too much has just made afraid of new people or something. Whenever i try to talk to strangers my mind just goes completely blank. Like you could ask me the most basic question and i'd stand there looking like a question sign.. it's so stupid tbh.


----------



## Moxi (Nov 24, 2015)

Sometimes, yeah. A lot of people my age are married with kids, so in public they'll be sharing what's going on in their family lives while the most I have to say is that I watched my nephew for an hour over Christmas. I backed out of what was supposed to be my career because it made me question why I even bothered to get up in the mornings, and isolated me from people, and now I've got nothing there, either.


----------



## criesofsilence (Jan 1, 2017)

Pogowiff said:


> Yes. The less of a social life you have, the less you have to share and talk about. And this makes it even harder to bond, make friends and relationships and develop a social life. Eventually it becomes a constantly sinking complementary effect.


Stuck in a black hole with no way out.

I grew up feeling like my opinion didn't matter, and was afraid of saying the wrong things, so I kept my mouth shut. Now I have no idea what to say in conversations, my mind is just totally blank. I can't understand how people can drone on and on about things. How do all those words come out so easily?


----------



## TwerkinForTalos (Jan 2, 2017)

RedMedicine said:


> When I'm talking to someone online is easier because well I have time to think about what to say, but irl I'm always blank.


I feel this way, like I don't have any time to prepare or the time to properly structure my words in person. It's very frustrating.


----------



## cooligan (Dec 16, 2016)

This is me exactly however it's not that I don't know what to say, I'm afraid to "talk". When I was younger, I'd say 9 or 10, I was so afraid to speak that when I had to, I would speak so quickly no one would understand me. I've since worked on how fast I speak but I find myself still flubbing over words or stuttering, even still find myself speaking quickly...and it's extremely embarrassing. So to avoid having that happen, I just don't talk. 

It's frustrating because it makes it seem as though I can't hold a conversation whereas I want to, I just know my words are not going to match what my brain wants me to say.


----------



## Ominous Indeed (Sep 6, 2015)

Leenalee said:


> I can never continue and keep up with conversations which is why I can't meet new people and even when I do try to talk I feel like I bore them.


Why that username?

Btw is that Erza? No, it's a fake erza


----------



## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

Yep, I don't get out much, so I don't have much to talk about. I can do alright with people I don't know very well, since they haven't heard my stories before. But with family, I don't have much to say.


----------



## Pongowaffle (Jul 23, 2015)

criesofsilence said:


> Stuck in a black hole with no way out.
> 
> I grew up feeling like my opinion didn't matter, and was afraid of saying the wrong things, so I kept my mouth shut. Now I have no idea what to say in conversations, my mind is just totally blank. I can't understand how people can drone on and on about things. How do all those words come out so easily?


Referring the point of fear of saying the wrong things, I think people that are closer to each other get more leeway and forgiveness in saying the wrong things. If they do, they get away with it. They are judge less harshly for it, or maybe eve not at all.

A lot of times I observe my other friends saying the most cringing and stupid things and the other friends will not call them out on it and play along. I think most of the times they don't even notice it. When a blacksheep within the group say something that might sound just a little bit stupid, the whole group jump on the person like vultures.

I think respect and admiration among friends play a huge part in social dynamics. The more other admire you and are impressed by you, you can be an absolutely scumbag and they will like you. Vice versa if they do not admire you, you can be the nicest person and they will pay little attention to your positive and they will just dwell on your negatives. That is what I notice at least.


----------



## Layna9 (Aug 30, 2016)

I feel this. Have no interesting friends to talk about. Nothing interesting happens in my life, I don't really have any stories to tell. I just kind of go along with life and don't say anything... And when someone does try to strike conversation, like asking general questions even then I don't know what to say! What's your fav movie/band/blah? I DON'T KNOW. When people talk to me I don't seem to know anything. I feel like I have no personality, so it's better if you just don't talk to me. thank you very much


----------



## 0blank0 (Sep 22, 2014)

All the timeuh!


----------



## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

I probably have a lot I could say, but I never think it's of any interest to anybody. Especially, when a lot of it has things that I have done, but not necessarily doing right this moment so may not be current enough to be of interest.

I don't keep current on sports, pop culture, entertainment, etc., so those topics are out.

I've traveled extensively for business, but not much you can say when you've seen airports, hotels, and offices.

I used have a pilot's license, but that's ancient history and couldn't really speak too currently on the subject.

I mean, in the average social circle, I really don't have much to share that anyone would care about.


----------



## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

It depends really. I can talk sports and stuff with guys and goof around a little, but I don't really have a lot in common with most people. Most of the things that are currently popular usually don't interest me to keep up with them, and the things I am interested in really aren't the things most people know a lot about. That and the fact that half of the time, I feel like I am trying to escape a conversation as quickly and painlessly as possible. I am really more of an activity oriented person.


----------



## Kevin21 (Jan 1, 2017)

Definitely, especially because I can't relate to anyone around me. They're all doing things I can't do because of my anxiety and it makes it hard to relate to them. Plus I don't feel like anyone has similar interests to me and the most crippling of all is I feel like my insecurities will be brought up so I really watch what I say. This sometimes make me not being able to talk about anything cause I'm so scared :/


----------



## alioninside (Jan 6, 2017)

I mostly sit quietly and listen to the group have a conversation. I either have nothing to add or am so disgusted by what they're saying that it would be bad to say what I was thinking. Don't get me wrong; I do like to listen but sometimes people grate on my nerves (I can't relate or they're being ugly, etc). So because I don't talk much, people tend to treat me like I'm dumb or don't exist. And it sucks. Oh and if I do get the courage to speak up, I usually get interrupted or ignored and then I feel even worse than if I had just kept quiet.


----------



## atinyvoice (Jan 9, 2017)

Hey, coming in late, but I ditto those who say that they mostly sit still and listen to everyone else talk

I could never get interested in small talk. Sometimes I can do it, but I always feel like I'm disingenuous and faking it. It's so much worse seeing the people around me seem to enjoy it so much. I prefer communication that's direct, concrete, and to the point. But I also crave the emotional connection that I see other people having when they just talk about "nothing" or things that seem like nothing to me. 

I've tried very hard to become personable over the years and I think I've achieved that goal or at least now how to "turn the charm on". But after about an hour or sometimes less, I just run out of things to make up to say. The ends of my very rare social outings tend to be me pasting a smile on my face, saying nothing, and just sitting there listening to other people. I wonder how it seems to come so naturally to basically every other human being besides me. 

Does that parallel anyone else's experience?


----------



## Scentient (Jan 10, 2017)

Yes, then later I think of something I could've said


----------



## Destormjanina1 (Jan 9, 2017)

I almost never have anything to say. Which Is why I have no social life. I can't initiate or keep a conversation. Nothing funny or witty or creative to say most times. Just short, bland responses if I'm spoken to. Literally nothing comes to my mind when I'm put in social situations. It's weird and abnormal & idk what to do about it. I blame the last couple years of isolation.


----------



## Pongowaffle (Jul 23, 2015)

Yeah it is especially difficult when you have not seen someone for a while. You do not know what is going on with them. You grow distant. It becomes mutually more uncomfortable for both parties to share much because of this. So it is much harder to think of topics to bring up. So both parties become more uncomfortable and hesitant to meet up again and again to rekindle a relationship. Relationships and friendships then drift apart. To the point it just straight up ends. Years down the line, you will probably run into each other in the streets, recognized each other, but just decide to look away and kept walking without acknowledging. 

At the end of the night when you are in bed, you think back and you thought about how that person was your best friend for more than 10 years. You think to yourself, how the f*** did that happen? You start thinking of more and more relationships and friendships that have ended the same way. So now you are laying in bed alone just like you have been for the past dozen years. 

The very next day, you venture by yourself out to grab some lunch. Waiting for your order, you see 5 of your mutual close friends from when you are younger. One of them was Brad the crappy friend that no one liked in your group back then, but he's just always there. All sitting together at a table nearby, eating lunch together and, laughing it up. Trading inside jokes and gabs. You quickly put on your sunglasses and hoodie fearing they will recognize you. The awkwardness of it. The food server yells out your name for your order. All of your former friends turned towards you recognizing your name possibly. They all gave you a glance. See some strange suspicious man in sunglasses and hoodie. They look away and return to their conversation. 

You quickly saunter away with tears beneath your shades. But seconds later as your emotions are about to reach its peak, some chubby ghetto macho scumbag walking by decide to intentionally shoulder bump you out of amusement. He bumped you so hard, it knocked your expensive sunglasses to the ground breaking it. Your tears that were hidden behind your shades are exposed to the world. It further enhances macho scumbag's satisfaction to see you crying and that he has broken your shades. He laughs a big AHA! showing you his plastic chrome grills. Your emotions erupt off of a sudden. It was your final straw. You charge at him to attack him. A person twice your size. He picks you up with ease, throws you flying into a nearby outdoor dining table. You landed on top shattering it like a victim of the Dudley Boyz. 

With the loud commotion, your former friends all sprinted out to see what the deal was. There they see you and recognize you. Their former weird friend, they haven't spoke to in years. Now they appeared to him as a strange hoodie wearing sad looking man, and then minutes later, some shattered victim laying on the ground on top of a crushed table in tears. They facial expression was a combination of feeling sorry for you and glad with the decision that they disassociated with you to begin with. One of them flinched to want to reach out to help you up, but the thought of you being a former friend makes it awkward. So they just turned around and stroll back inside to the restaurant. Then you realize Angie was there. You use to have a huge crush on. The one you try so hard to impress her when she was your friend. But she never returned her affection other than a smile and pat on your back. The one that got away. She look even more gorgeous now. But she just gave you a very put-off and disgusted stare before walking back with the group. 

More waves of dark thoughts began to overwhelm you. But once again they were distracted when the macho scumbag was still standing above you and gifted you with a final huge spit to your face, yelling another AHA! before swaggering off with his scrawny skinny sidekick friend who begins to yell to him endlessly of how boss he was.


----------



## littleghost (Oct 29, 2016)

Maslow said:


> Yep, I don't get out much, so I don't have much to talk about. I can do alright with people I don't know very well, since they haven't heard my stories before. But with family, I don't have much to say.


Yeah, this. I don't go out much and have limited interaction with people. The only things I have to talk about are things I read on the internet, books, or saw on TV. I don't have any interesting experiences, so I don't have good stories to tell.


----------



## Destormjanina1 (Jan 9, 2017)

I never have anything to say. Even when I try to mentally prepare and come up with things ahead of time. I don't know how to Uniate or keep a conversation going. I'm anxious whenever I'm in a conversation with someone, afraid of awkward silences and words misconstrued. I can barely even follow up when someone is talking. It's bizarre and I hate it. This is why I have no friends. It's not even like I'm afraid to say what's on my mind. There really is nothing on my mind for me to push myself to say. I hate it and wish I could go back to being oblivious to how non talkative I am. Because now my nerves soar whenever I'm in close proximity to someone. Deathly afraid they'll try to start a conversation or make small talk which is something I just can't seem to do most of the time. It's hell.


----------



## SparklingWater (Jan 16, 2013)

Yup that's my biggest issue lol. I just get stuck in my head. When i was in therapy something interesting happened though. I felt comfy around her and when she asked my opinion about things I was able to just talk. The words just flowed. Same as on this forum, in the relaxed environment, no pressure I'm able to process and give my opinions. So now i KNOW i do have things to say. I have a lot to say. As i use CBT and begin to reduce my anxiety I'll be able to express all the things I've wanted to. I have things to say. I have things to say and that knowledge feels so good.


----------



## rm123 (Mar 21, 2016)

I'm so panicky & shy around girls, I always assume they won't like me & I won't fit in & they'll laugh at me and jeneisjxbekaidbwkNd it's no fun


----------



## AllieG (Feb 20, 2014)

I always feel like I have nothing important to say to anyone. Online, I can probably carry on a convo for a while but irl, I just blank out. I have no clue what to say and I feel like I must appear super awkward to others.


----------



## Winds (Apr 17, 2011)

Pretty much. I'm struggling to come up with words to even explain it.


----------



## radelea23 (Jan 22, 2017)

I feel like I have so much to talk about and say, but yea once I'm confronted with a person all of it goes 100% out the window and I can't remember a darn thing. 
Yea I'm way too familiar with awkward silences. And although I hate small talk I always pray it will last as long as possible when I have to talk with someone, cause when it runs out I will stand there silently...nodding awkwardly.... frozen.... smiling around the room ....with that familiar pit of fear in my stomach and mentally pounding my brain to think of something to say.


----------



## XRik7X (Jun 11, 2014)

All the time


----------



## Strago (Jan 12, 2017)

I frequently feel this way too. If I need to come up with a topic to talk about I often have nothing to bring up. So to avoid having to have much input, if someone is telling me about something I listen and find something to ask a question about to keep them going on longer. Its surprising how long you can have a conversation go on with some people without ever really saying anything yourself.


----------



## SparklingWater (Jan 16, 2013)

I have a lot to say but I when I feel anxious it can be difficult to access my thoughts.


----------



## Twilightforce (Aug 7, 2016)

Sometimes it's not really about what I have to say. Sometimes I just feel like it's pointless and no one care what I have to say so I just don't say it.


----------



## BeyondRedemption (Jun 23, 2010)

Yep! I gave up trying to maintain small talk with people as I always feel I don't add value to it, or even have anything that i relate to them with. I think it's down to SA really as i probably do but i'm the opposite to the "speaking before you think" phase, I think - over analyse - don't speak!


----------



## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

yep.


----------



## That Random Guy (Jan 31, 2015)

*Yep.*



Chillyy said:


> Yep, and that's why I can't make friends.


Same.


----------



## Tokztero (Sep 12, 2013)

I have nothing to say right now. I hate it.


----------



## penguinbeak (Jun 5, 2017)

Well, in my mind, I have a lot of opinions and things to say, but in real life, I don't even try to express those opinions, in fear of people disagreeing with me or thinking that it's stupid. Every time I express an opinion, my older brother disagrees with it, and my mom always sides with him because he's the oldest. 


The more I grow, the less I talk, even though I have more to say, because most of the time when I enter a conversation the conversation doesn't interest me or they don't listen to me. EX. Once I got baited into a group of people by a childhood friend and I got stuck in this group, they were talking about a show. Coincidentally I watched the show too at the time, so I said ''hey, I watch that show too!'', and they all looked at me like I had three heads. There was an awkward silence. Sometimes people just don't hear me or they ignore me, even though I think my voice is not that quiet. 

In elementary school there was this girl in my class who always used the teacher's laptop for some reason. When I'd go up to her and ask her what she was doing, she'd just ignore me like I was a ghost. When I had my exam this month, I went and talked to an acquaintance, and I remember telling her something quite clearly to her face, and she ignoring me. I'm pretty sure she just didn't hear me, because I repeated it and then she responded, but this has happened SO MANY TIMES, that I just stop trying because if I shout, they ask why am I shouting? and if I speak normally, they don't hear me. And this is not one sided, because most of the time I hear what the person is saying, I just can't understand the articulation for some reason and I ask them to repeat everything they say.


----------

