# Virtual support group over zoom?



## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

Anybody know of any virtual support groups that use video conferencing technology so we don't have to actually go to a meetup in person? I'm getting a bit stir crazy, and it has nothing to do with the pandemic.

If there aren't any out there, I might start one. What would you want in a video support group?


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## ladyscuttle (Jan 29, 2012)

I am sad that no one has answered this. I'd be more than happy to participate in a free support group. I was getting ready to attend AA meetings, just to have people to talk to despite not being an alcoholic or spiritual, hah. I wish there was something readily available for people with mental health issues. I'd love to see it in a sharing setting, where the floor gets opened up for people to share their stories and have some supportive feedback. Almost like an IOP setting I guess. If you ever get this running, let me know.


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## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

ladyscuttle said:


> I am sad that no one has answered this. I'd be more than happy to participate in a free support group. I was getting ready to attend AA meetings, just to have people to talk to despite not being an alcoholic or spiritual, hah. I wish there was something readily available for people with mental health issues. I'd love to see it in a sharing setting, where the floor gets opened up for people to share their stories and have some supportive feedback. Almost like an IOP setting I guess. If you ever get this running, let me know.


Hi, ladyscuttle, I found something called EmotionsAnonymous (EA), which is a 12 step program similar to AA, so there is that "god" factor, but you don't need to believe. I actually went to some of their in-person meetings about 10 years ago, and they were pretty decent, but in-fighting destroyed the group. The guy who ran it was a paranoid that people in the group were against him. It was a long drive to get to the meeting, anyway.

It turns out that they have a bunch of virtual groups over Zoom and some other technologies. Here's a link:
https://emotionsanonymous.org/what-we-offer/find-a-meeting/phone-and-internet-meetings.html

I'll let you know how it goes and you can do the same if you try it.


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## either/or (Apr 27, 2020)

There are also meetup.com groups you can try. There is an SA meetup.com group that is active in my area but I normally don't go to their meetings. I'm pretty sure they all have Zoom meetings now.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

I can't do video conferencing, so anything like that is no good to me. I won't do video even with my best friend or my therapist.


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## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

either/or said:


> There are also meetup.com groups you can try. There is an SA meetup.com group that is active in my area but I normally don't go to their meetings. I'm pretty sure they all have Zoom meetings now.


I took a look at Meetup.com and found a few SAD groups, but none of them said anything about virtual meetings. And they just had a few people attending and nobody anywhere near my age.



truant said:


> I can't do video conferencing, so anything like that is no good to me. I won't do video even with my best friend or my therapist.


Are you concerned with your appearance being scrutinized? I have that problem in person; I don't know if I'll have it in a video call. Some of them allow phone-ins with just audio.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

Maslow said:


> Are you concerned with your appearance being scrutinized? I have that problem in person; I don't know if I'll have it in a video call. Some of them allow phone-ins with just audio.


Partly. But mostly it triggers my gender dysphoria. The reason why I finally broke down and got a therapist is because I can't bring myself to do video calls or share pictures. I've never met anyone with a bigger issue than I have about their appearance. If everything moves to video I'll be even more screwed than I already am.

I find video worse than meeting people IRL. I'm not sure why, except that maybe it's because on video calls you're basically forced to stare at each other's faces, but IRL I can talk without looking at the person I'm talking to, and they can talk to me without looking at me.


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## rabidfoxes (Apr 17, 2016)

I find video very hard as well. And I kind of lock myself out of these video conferencing things by refusing to use Zoom. The NHS offer a mental health group where I am, and although they don't use Zoom, they use Microsoft. Next week I'll see if it works for me, but it might not because they want me to download Google Chrome (not going to happen). It's a little annoying that even the public health service rely on software with a bad privacy/security record.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

I'd like to challenge myself with Zoom but haven't been able to get my hands on a decent web cam as yet.


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## ladyscuttle (Jan 29, 2012)

Thanks for sharing with me! Have you gone yet? I just logged in, so I'm just seeing your response. I'll have to check it out. 


I know some of you are worried about the camera thing, but you definitely have the option to keep your camera off and just listen or just use the voice option! I do it in my IOP sometimes, usually when I'm crying a lot. When there's a lot of faces, it isn't really zoomed in on ya either.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

I don't do voice chat, either. For the same reason. All of the other person's attention is focused on my voice, which triggers my gender dysphoria. It's the sound of my voice, not what I'm saying that triggers it. Text is the only format I feel comfortable with. If I can't do that, then I'll meet face-to-face. Then voice. Then video. Video is the worst option for me and it looks like that's the direction everything is heading.


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## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

I just sat in on a group. I didn't participate at all and had my camera pointed at the wall and still had anxiety, thinking that at any moment, somebody was going to ask me a question, but that didn't happen. I didn't care for the prayers or the "powerless over my emotions" aspect, but it seemed pretty safe and non-judgemental. I'll try some more groups and maybe I'll find one where I feel like I fit in, although I never feel like I fit in anywhere, but what the hell... it's something to do.


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## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

I sat in this morning for a few minutes on another group from back east with a bunch of ethnic looking mf-ers who looked kind of like me. That's scarier than looking like a complete alien in a group. I get anxious when I don't look like anyone in the group and even more so when I do look like some of them! Again, I didn't participate.

I think I'd prefer a meeting that was late at night; that's when I'm most comfortable. There's a time window from around 12:30AM - 12:35AM when I'm in my element. Or maybe I could get some blackout curtains for my windows so I can simulate nighttime anonymity. I look much better in the dark -- like when it's pitch black and you can barely see five feet in front of you. That's when I look good -- as long as who's ever looking at me is more than five feet away.


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## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

I just sat in on another group and decided that I don't really want to talk about my problems and I don't want to hear about other people's problems. I'd rather discuss something more interesting. I'm not sure what, though. I'm tired of politics. I like music, but mostly stuff from the 60s and '70s, and I don't know if I want to talk about that, anyway. What else is there? And I don't want to talk to complete strangers. I don't want to get to know anybody. I hate people. I hate this f-ckin' world.

Bleh.


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