# I did WHAT today?!



## Speratus (Jan 24, 2009)

So yeah...I pretty much snapped today, but in a good way.

I just feel like I got fed up with it all. I was sick of hearing people laughing and not being a part of it. I was sick of sitting in front of a computer screen letting life pass me by. I was sick of feeling miserable. I couldn't take it anymore and I refused to let ANOTHER day go by. This morning I started off really depressed as usual, but when I went to my international relations class one of my worst fears happened. Two very attractive women decided to sit on either side of me FREAKING me out to an insane degree, especially since I couldn't tell whether or not they were giving me glances or not. (Very freaky given my problems with the opposite sex.)

Afterwords though...I don't really know how to describe my feelings. I just got even more frustrated. Here were two attractive women, _possibly_ staring at me and I just blew them off with no eye contact and acted like they didn't exist or anything. It just kept eating away at me that I chose to once again do anything. And it almost felt like I decided to struggle waking up from a terrible, terrible nightmare. Don't get me wrong, it's not like somebody flicked a switch and suddenly everything is miraculously cured, but it just feels like my state of mind took a total 180 today.

For example, I decided to sit between two girls in my next class. Not because I thought they were attractive, or because they were women, but because they just happened to surround the spot in the second row where I WANTED TO SIT. I was actually able to see the professor's notes and the class was quite a bit more interesting than when I was sitting in the back and off to the side unable to read his lecture notes.

If THIS wasn't enough, I had a class later today with only about 12 people or so. After the class was over, I told everyone I was going to get some food and asked if anyone wanted to go with. And somebody actually said yes, and I had a conversation with another dude from the class. It was nice, I didn't eat lunch alone for a change and had a really interesting conversation regarding the class, our own educational plans, and various other random stuff.

Oh, but it doesn't end there. I got back to my dorm and heard a whole group of people laughing in the hallway. Rather than get depressed and ball up into my cocoon, I took the day's momentum and decided to go outside and give them a bad time for being inside on a sunny day. (In a friendly humorous way of course). I got involved in the conversation and we ended up watching a movie in one of their dorm rooms, after which they invited me out to see a movie tomorrow in a theater. Unfortunately though I had to decline because they wanted to go at the same time as a beginning guitar extension class I'm taking tomorrow. Oh well! I got facebooks and sent friend requests, so hopefully I'll get something back.

Finally, I hung out with and had dinner with one of my friends and one of HIS friends of the opposite sex. I was freaked out at first but starting chilling out a bit and by the end of the night. Then of course, she reached out to hug my friend and I begun to do an internal eyeroll thinking, "Oh boy, here we go again, remind me I'm still single." And then she did something I wasn't expecting, she reached to do the same for me as a friend, I was slightly caught of guard, but managed to pull it off without doing anything stupid or embarrassing. Just friends saying goodbye for the night. Didn't get back to my dorm until 9:30 lol.

I'm going to try to maintain this just INSANE amount of confidence and courage as long as I can. I think I'm going to revisit the idea of exploring the floor tomorrow. I did it today and only good things came of it. Also, I'm thinking my confidence with the opposite sex may be starting to turn around. Not letting my change in direction pass me by I think I'm going to sign up for a month long dance class and go for the death blow with my fear with women.

I'm not "fixed" by any means, but I think today I took a HUGE step in the right direction. In a sentence, today was FREAKING AWESOME. And after I posted all THIS, I was invited to a party. HELL YEAH (Just a close friend's b-day though)


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## mind_games (Nov 30, 2008)

Well done bro


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## Girl_Loner (Mar 17, 2009)

That sounds like a brilliant day!


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## stealyourface722 (Aug 31, 2008)

SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!! lol


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## CutieBoots (Feb 17, 2008)

Speratus said:


> where I WANTED TO SIT. I was actually able to see the professor's notes and the class was quite a bit more interesting than when I was sitting in the back and off to the side unable to read his lecture notes.


Doing what we want for ourselves is the best feeling in the world, isn't it? I am feeling similar lately. love things like this.


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## Meee (Oct 24, 2005)

awesome


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

Sounds like you had an amazing day! You should be so proud. It sounds like you turned it around by making choices that you don't normally make. Awesome!


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## Zeddicus (Apr 1, 2009)

Victory!


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## Freedom2010 (Jan 29, 2009)

Wow! What a great day! Keep up the good work


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## kikachuck (Nov 10, 2003)

That's something to build upon. Good work :nw


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

All that in one day? That's amazing progress!


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## Black_Widow (May 23, 2008)

Well done! You sure achieved alot within quite a short space of time. That's fantastic!


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## 22017 (Mar 17, 2009)

Wow. I think if I'd have done all that in one day I'd have passed out! Good job, dude.


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## goodthing (Feb 16, 2009)

Wow thats amazing! Great job!


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## wxolue (Nov 26, 2008)

think reckless thoughts. i had a day like this and it was amazing. i woke up the next day feeling down, but then i started saying **** it what am i doing and i got pumped up and just went out and had an hour or 2 of the same thing


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## Adelleda (Apr 14, 2009)

That sounds totally awesome, it's so fulfilling when you got out on a limb and it rewards you generously, try to remember this day to always lift your spirits and to help you gain confidence. Well done, that's a tremendous step!


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## crome (Dec 2, 2008)

Awesome... almost brings a tear to my eye. More doing, less thinking...


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