# 28 And Just a Third Year Student



## GuitarPaladin (11 mo ago)

Hey everyone,

So my complaint and shame lies in that I have been struggling with multiple mental health issues for many years now, social anxiety being one of them. I started at a community college in 2011 at the age of 18 and it took me essentially 8 years to complete a two years associate's. Its' so embarrassing and I'm now in my junior year of college as an undergrad at a university. I have very little work experience and due to my anxieties, haven't really been able to work properly. Not even part-time. The fact that I am still supported by my family financially at 28, just starting four year university, and not knowing when I'll graduate just makes me feel so shameful and embarrassed. Can anyone relate or have tips or offer advice of sorts? I believe I will eventually graduate and get my bachelor's, its just that sometimes I think I'll be 40 by then lol.


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## CNikki (Aug 9, 2013)

It had taken me five years to complete a bachelor's. Nearly dropped out twice in my two-year before going to the four-year. This started a few years after high school. So technically speaking, I had been about eight years behind if we want to talk about the average traditional student pace. To this day I still don't know completely as to what I'm doing because I decided to go past bachelor's and yet still not meet many criteria and 'be stable' by now. 

This is not to compare. Just trying to say that people go at their own pace and for some it's not as easy to have the average life that we see many of people around our age are living. While we can say to not care, it can still affect us in ways that are inevitable. Family meetings brings a great reminder for me as an example. 

You are still trying to further yourself and get what you want out of your desired degree. Take pride that you are still trying when many people give up. Life happens and many go to school later or even go back because the degree they decided to go for at 18 wasn't what they thought they wanted.


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## Socialmisfits (May 14, 2021)

I guess a human being never stops learning. At a job you need to learn about new equipment and techniques on a very regular basis. Pilots have to keep updating their knowledge because technology always upgrades. For promotions in companies you often need to study to make a chance of getting the promotion. I also heard stories of people way older than you that attend colleges. During the covid pandemic I read about lots of barmen who went studying to change professions. One went to school because he decided to become a teacher. 
Generally studying long or studying again is considered something to be proud of because it means you have motivation and you look at the future optimistically. Governments actually encourage studying regardless of age because of the aging of our society.

The way I see it you are motivated and courageous and that is commendable. If all this doesn't make you feel better then I wouldn't mind sending you a picture of myself so you can look at it and feel superior. You see I got you beat at the living with parents thing. I am 38 and never worked in my life due to social anxiety. The moral of the story you are doing fine and you will make it. The thing is you can't skip steps, you have chosen to study and now it is not the time to worry about when you will graduate now is the time to concentrate on your studies. I believe you will grow more confident as it goes and when you notice people surely aren't going to judge you for studying at 28.

Good luck man!


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## GuitarPaladin (11 mo ago)

Socialmisfits said:


> I guess a human being never stops learning. At a job you need to learn about new equipment and techniques on a very regular basis. Pilots have to keep updating their knowledge because technology always upgrades. For promotions in companies you often need to study to make a chance of getting the promotion. I also heard stories of people way older than you that attend colleges. During the covid pandemic I read about lots of barmen who went studying to change professions. One went to school because he decided to become a teacher.
> Generally studying long or studying again is considered something to be proud of because it means you have motivation and you look at the future optimistically. Governments actually encourage studying regardless of age because of the aging of our society.
> 
> The way I see it you are motivated and courageous and that is commendable. If all this doesn't make you feel better then I wouldn't mind sending you a picture of myself so you can look at it and feel superior. You see I got you beat at the living with parents thing. I am 38 and never worked in my life due to social anxiety. The moral of the story you are doing fine and you will make it. The thing is you can't skip steps, you have chosen to study and now it is not the time to worry about when you will graduate now is the time to concentrate on your studies. I believe you will grow more confident as it goes and when you notice people surely aren't going to judge you for studying at 28.
> ...


Thank you for your kind words. I hope all goes well for you. Yes, working can be hard but we have to make do with what we can and can’t do


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

I can relate. I dropped out of high school at 18 because I was failing all my courses (literally; I wasn't passing a single course 😂 ). Then I took a year off and went back and took 'bird courses' and got my high school diploma at 20. I was 21 for my 1st (and only) year of university. I couldn't handle the course load and botched my exams and probably had one of the lowest grade point averages in my year. Needless to say, I never went back for a second year. I'm turning 50 this year and I'm obviously never going to have a degree in anything. I'm probably one of the least-educated people on this forum.😁

After I dropped out of school the first time (when I was 18), my parents kicked me out. I didn't have a job, so I had to go on welfare. I was on welfare (aside from the year I was in university, where I had no income) until I was 27. In all that time I never managed to get a job that wasn't temp work because no one would hire me. (I applied for several hundred jobs in that time; that's how well I interview 😂.) So when I finally got an actual job at 27, I still effectively had no work experience worth mentioning. As far as living with your parents goes, that was the norm for most of human history, and it is still the norm in a lot of places, so it's completely normal. At least statistically.😛

The point is, there are other people out there struggling too, so you're not alone. Mental illness does that to people. You can't expect to do as well as other people when you're struggling with anxiety, depression, etc. You just have to try to ignore what other people are doing and focus on improving the quality of your own life, whatever it looks like. Feeling embarrassed and ashamed will just hold you back and get in the way of reaching your potential.


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## GuitarPaladin (11 mo ago)

truant said:


> I can relate. I dropped out of high school at 18 because I was failing all my courses (literally; I wasn't passing a single course 😂 ). Then I took a year off and went back and took 'bird courses' and got my high school diploma at 20. I was 21 for my 1st (and only) year of university. I couldn't handle the course load and botched my exams and probably had one of the lowest grade point averages in my year. Needless to say, I never went back for a second year. I'm turning 50 this year and I'm obviously never going to have a degree in anything. I'm probably one of the least-educated people on this forum.😁
> 
> After I dropped out of school the first time (when I was 18), my parents kicked me out. I didn't have a job, so I had to go on welfare. I was on welfare (aside from the year I was in university, where I had no income) until I was 27. In all that time I never managed to get a job that wasn't temp work because no one would hire me. (I applied for several hundred jobs in that time; that's how well I interview 😂.) So when I finally got an actual job at 27, I still effectively had no work experience worth mentioning. As far as living with your parents goes, that was the norm for most of human history, and it is still the norm in a lot of places, so it's completely normal. At least statistically.😛
> 
> The point is, there are other people out there struggling too, so you're not alone. Mental illness does that to people. You can't expect to do as well as other people when you're struggling with anxiety, depression, etc. You just have to try to ignore what other people are doing and focus on improving the quality of your own life, whatever it looks like. Feeling embarrassed and ashamed will just hold you back and get in the way of reaching your potential.


Thank you for the encouragement! Don't beat yourself up about your education status. People can have many different types of intelligences'. I'm sure you'll find yours in your own time. Yes, I am fighting with my very being not to be ashamed. I know I will get there.


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## JH1983 (Nov 14, 2013)

truant said:


> I'm probably one of the least-educated people on this forum.😁



I'm right there with you. Dropped out of high school at 17 the first semester of my junior year. Got my GED a year or so later. Signed up for a semester of college that I never showed up for even once. Then maybe a year after that I signed up for literally one class so I wouldn't get overwhelmed and actually completed it. Then like eight years later I signed up for another semester that I never finished. I'll be 40 next year.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

GuitarPaladin said:


> Hey everyone,
> 
> So my complaint and shame lies in that I have been struggling with multiple mental health issues for many years now, social anxiety being one of them. I started at a community college in 2011 at the age of 18 and it took me essentially 8 years *to complete a two years associate's*. Its' so embarrassing and I'm now in my junior year of college as an undergrad at a university. I have very little work experience and due to my anxieties, haven't really been able to work properly. Not even part-time. The fact that I am still supported by my family financially at 28, just starting four year university, and not knowing when I'll graduate just makes me feel so shameful and embarrassed. Can anyone relate or have tips or offer advice of sorts? I believe I will eventually graduate and get my bachelor's, its just that sometimes I think I'll be 40 by then lol.


What was this course in? I think your community college courses sound like they're similar to what we call Tafe courses here in Australia. The courses here can be very good in as much as they're more practical and can get you a job.

Depending on your perspective University and College degrees can be a waste of time - especially if they're just Arts courses. Obviously there are arguments against what I just said - but if I had my time again I'd probably try and study something saleable - like Computer Science. 

My point is try to study something that will actually lead to a job.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

JH1983 said:


> I'm right there with you. Dropped out of high school at 17 the first semester of my junior year. Got my GED a year or so later. Signed up for a semester of college that I never showed up for even once. Then maybe a year after that I signed up for literally one class so I wouldn't get overwhelmed and actually completed it. Then like eight years later I signed up for another semester that I never finished. I'll be 40 next year.


I've thought about taking a single course here and there, but between the money and the anxiety and the lack of any real objective, I just never got around to it. I spend a lot of time researching stuff for my writing, so that's sort of like an education, right? 😂


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## GuitarPaladin (11 mo ago)

harrison said:


> What was this course in? I think your community college courses sound like they're similar to what we call Tafe courses here in Australia. The courses here can be very good in as much as they're more practical and can get you a job.
> 
> Depending on your perspective University and College degrees can be a waste of time - especially if they're just Arts courses. Obviously there are arguments against what I just said - but if I had my time again I'd probably try and study something saleable - like Computer Science.
> 
> My point is try to study something that will actually lead to a job.


completing a two year associate's degree at a community college is just something you do before you enter into a four year university here in the states. Now, if you automatically go from high school to an actual university, you don't do that two year associate's thing. The degree essentially goes towards your major. Hopefully that clarified things a bit for those of you who don't live in the U.S.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

GuitarPaladin said:


> completing a two year associate's degree at a community college is just something you do before you enter into a four year university here in the states. Now, if you automatically go from high school to an actual university, you don't do that two year associate's thing. The degree essentially goes towards your major. Hopefully that clarified things a bit for those of you who don't live in the U.S.


Oh, I see. 

I really would try not to be too hard on yourself. Everything is relative and 28 is still young. No-one else knows or has to know your situation - it's none of their business.

For what it's worth I didn't even start my BA until I was 37 - and it took me 3 years just to start it. Everyone's different.


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## Raies (Nov 3, 2016)

Interestingly enough I came to post about my disappointment with university studies, and spotted this before I did that.

I'm 28 (to be 29 this year), and on my third year as well (1 year left for bachelor's and 2 years after that for masters).
I am a few courses short of doing a bachelor's in two subjects, although I will combine them into one; maybe next year. Except that I probably will change school and my line, so I'll possibly graduate at the age of 33.
There is a chance the studies would become more interesting for masters, but if they don't that's 2 more years wasted.
The structure I've planned isn't great for employment, since I chose to pick something I _thought_ would be interesting. (sigh)

I feel I've learned nothing (of value), and the main thing the school has taught me is putting some hours in; which I avoid as much as I can because I don't like any of it.
I think there's been a total of 1 good course that I've actually enjoyed and taken something from, and that's 2 being courses short of bachelor's (worth ~ 36 courses).

So if I change, it would probably mean another 4 years of education (with the option of working in the field after ~2 years)
The problem is I don't know if I'm interested enough in that field either to spend 4 years in it. (Let alone work in it for 40)
There's a few other fields as well, but the same problem exists & I'm not as sure they give as great chances for employment.


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## EmotionlessThug (Oct 4, 2011)

I just finished my last course for community college and earned 60 credits for my associates degree in psychology at age 29. I was supposed to start college back in September, 2012, but my living conditions are unstable. My cousins and father derailed me from going to college. I was accused of having a knife and punching my cousin's son in the face, and the NYPD officers had to remove me from my aunt's house on Aug, 27, 2011. On May, 4, 2012, my father's girlfriend had an argument with her tenant, who was just released from jail or prison. She wanted me to have a fight or argue with the gentleman. I'm not supposed to intervene because I'm not the owner; my father's girlfriend is the owner. My father's girlfriend called her family over and they threatened to put my body in a trash dump. They forced me to leave and I was in the streets for hours. My mom and sister came to pick me up from the streets, so I could live in a shelter with them.

The shelter said that me and my family weren't complying, so they told us we were going to be sleeping in a school or on a school bus. My mother got tired of traveling on the train and running on the long steps. She said if she continues she will die. I used my money that I made online to leave NYC. We have lived in motels and hotels for 6 years. No one would hire me at all, but my mom got several jobs. She used her tax money to leave Florida to go back to New York. We stayed in a hotel for two weeks and went back to living in a shelter. I was too late to sign up Spring 2018 semester, so I applied for two colleges for Fall 2018. But the college that I put in for wanted me to take an SAT and a placement test. While the college rejected me.

I was invited to a community college for Spring 2019, and I told my case manager in the shelter to send a residential letter to my college. She refused to have an appointment with me or my family for four weeks, and she told the shelter director that we were not complying. My community college said that I was too late, and just told me to register for Fall 2019 semester. I was able to attend Fall 2019 semester, but I ended up failing my math because all the homework is online. I don't have enough data on my smartphone to watch tutorial videos or the time to complete my homework.


Now I can't transfer to a 4 year college because the A.I Computers made my mother die with the coronavirus. I got accepted to the best college in Queens because of my GPA. My mother finically supported me to continue with my education, but the A.I removed her. My mom's cousins visited my mom's apartment to separate me and my sister from each other, and they abandoned me for over a month in my mom's apartment.

Before my cousins deserted me......


My mom's cousins that I haven't seen since I was 10 years old said that I should have been on disability a long time ago. They forced me to give them my social security number and high school osis number. Also, my cousins told my sister that I have a little autism spectrum. Before passing my last class, I told my cousins that I'm a full college student and they didn't believe me. One of my cousins said to me what I do all day? I told them that I was studying for my 50 question exam and doing my research paper for food/culture course. Not only that, my cousins and sister left with my dead mother's clothes from the hospital and clothes in her closet. The cousins never asked me if I had money to pay for the rent or the electric bill. The last time one of my cousins came to visit mom's apartment was Feb,19, 2022, while I was sleeping for school. My sister didn't call me or text me. She just came in and packed up all of her personal belongings, and said she has better job opportunities living with the cousins. My cousin asked my sister if she had anything to say to me? my sister said duces and my cousin laughed while the door closed.


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## GuitarPaladin (11 mo ago)

Raies said:


> Interestingly enough I came to post about my disappointment with university studies, and spotted this before I did that.
> 
> I'm 28 (to be 29 this year), and on my third year as well (1 year left for bachelor's and 2 years after that for masters).
> I am a few courses short of doing a bachelor's in two subjects, although I will combine them into one; maybe next year. Except that I probably will change school and my line, so I'll possibly graduate at the age of 33.
> ...


Thanks for your sharing your experience! I hope all goes well for you.


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## GuitarPaladin (11 mo ago)

EmotionlessThug said:


> I just finished my last course for community college and earned 60 credits for my associates degree in psychology at age 29. I was supposed to start college back in September, 2012, but my living conditions are unstable. My cousins and father derailed me from going to college. I was accused of having a knife and punching my cousin's son in the face, and the NYPD officers had to remove me from my aunt's house on Aug, 27, 2011. On May, 4, 2012, my father's girlfriend had an argument with her tenant, who was just released from jail or prison. She wanted me to have a fight or argue with the gentleman. I'm not supposed to intervene because I'm not the owner; my father's girlfriend is the owner. My father's girlfriend called her family over and they threatened to put my body in a trash dump. They forced me to leave and I was in the streets for hours. My mom and sister came to pick me up from the streets, so I could live in a shelter with them.
> 
> The shelter said that me and my family weren't complying, so they told us we were going to be sleeping in a school or on a school bus. My mother got tired of traveling on the train and running on the long steps. She said if she continues she will die. I used my money that I made online to leave NYC. We have lived in motels and hotels for 6 years. No one would hire me at all, but my mom got several jobs. She used her tax money to leave Florida to go back to New York. We stayed in a hotel for two weeks and went back to living in a shelter. I was too late to sign up Spring 2018 semester, so I applied for two colleges for Fall 2018. But the college that I put in for wanted me to take an SAT and a placement test. While the college rejected me.
> 
> ...


Man, my condolences dude. That’s rough as hell. Do you think you’ve gotten tougher because of all this? Thanks for sharing by the way. Your family is something else, I hope you find good people because I think you are good people.


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## EmotionlessThug (Oct 4, 2011)

GuitarPaladin said:


> Man, my condolences dude. That’s rough as hell. Do you think you’ve gotten tougher because of all this? Thanks for sharing by the way. Your family is something else, I hope you find good people because I think you are good people.


Tougher, yes. I also take everything more seriously now because of the unsusal behaviors from my environment. The situation just keep getting worse for me because my mom's landlords are piling up the money. My mom's rent is $1800 dollars a month. The rent here in NYC is very expensive; I don't have a job right now, and I didn't graduate yet from my community college. My college advisor told me to contact the registrar's office to sign up for graduation. I was planning to do an internship, but I can't. I need to graduate first. I have $3520 dollars that I saved up from my college refund and stimulus grants. I use my money to pay for the electric bill and the internet.

I learned that a job alone is not enough to get my own apartment. People in NYC live with roommates, a partner or families to pay for the rent together.



> Your family is something else, I hope you find good people because I think you are good people.


My mom's cousins made me feel ashamed that my mother died, and that I'm in a situation where I have no income. My sister said they behaved very weird towards me. Usually, my sister would say she doesn't care when I tell her things. It's been two months now since my cousins visited me in my mom's apartment. My cousins never wanted my social security number to sign me up for disability. Obviously they wanted my social security number to do a background check on me, and my high school osis number to see if I graduated high school. My cousins think that I don't have a high school diploma. My cousins wouldn't be able to answer questions about me on a disability application because they don't know anything about me. Now I can see the reason why they did a background check on me. I finished my last course on Feb, 22, 2022, and earned 60 credits. My cousins are going to question me about what I have been doing for over a month to expose me. They want me to admit that I don't want to work with people or be an adult. I need my college to process my graduation so I can show my cousins that I graduated.

I'm also planning to sue the hospital for negligence because my mother ate food that was too chewy to eat. She said that the hospital cooks raw meat in the microwave instead of on the stove. My mother was starving to death as a Covid patient. Her body didn't get the proper nutrients to fight off the virus. My mother and the doctor argued with one another because she didn't want to be incubated. My mother took pictures of herself and the food a day before her right lung collapsed.


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