# College girls destroy my confidence



## MechanicallyMinded (Jul 17, 2017)

This may end up being mostly a vent post but these are some sexuality issues I have been struggling with since I started (been in college for 6 years now graduate in may)

Firstly about me I'm 24 I have an associates went to college further to get a bachelor's* (didn't like the job environment associated with my first degree). I'm bisexual but I don't really tell people if I don't need to (self concious about it). I'm a bit overweight 6'0 265lbs (I think I still look okay but I'm pretty self concious about my apperance) I have a stable relationship and I have everything in the world that I should be happy and thankful for but I still find ways to get depressed out of "nothing".

I want to ask or at least have a thought experiment about why I can't keep my mind off of sex when I'm at college. Every single girl I come and cross wears very very revealing clothing (literally saw bright pink panties fly by me as a girl was riding a moped in a mini skirt *headsmack*) and I start to get kind of pissed at people. Like "stop making me think about sex you dumb bimbos". But in reality I feel they should wear whatever they want and it's just my issue. I think I'm addicted to sex, I watch porn once a day and I feel like I always want it. 

I'm basically a man ***** who isn't in shape enough to actually get laid...well also I have my girlfriend so it's really weird that I feel anything at all. I mean I don't like any of these girls personality at all I find most of them insanely annoying but there hot and im a ****ing loser so I fall for staring at them and looking like a creepy tool when I probably wouldn't sleep with them anyways because there personality annoys me. 

Really really weird I know, my mind is all over the place. Plus I have a girlfriend I don't want this little college thots in my head all the time but I'm like a ****ing dog and I hate myself for it. It's not like these girls would even consider banging me I don't know why my brain thinks it's even in the right to imagine that ****. College guys are ****ing ripped where I'm at, hot preppy rich and they have loads of self confidence. Everything I lack that girls want.

I do get sexual thoughts about the guys here too but it's different and less frequent. I'm into specific types of men so it doesn't come up much, but girls I'm so wired for I love them all....and hate them at the same time.


Why am I so damn pathetic.....

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## huzah (Sep 11, 2010)

Soooo what you're saying is, you're a guy ? You're almost out of college just tough it out


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## MechanicallyMinded (Jul 17, 2017)

Ah genius why didn't I think of that. (Sarcasm intended)

Just trying to have a thought experiment if I liked the answers that took 3 second of thought I wouldn't be making a post about it

Tough it out is obviously what I'm going to do but that doesn't mean I should even let myself be bothered by girls and I'm posing the thought of why and how other people with SA cope with my situation


huzah said:


> Soooo what you're saying is, you're a guy ? You're almost out of college just tough it out


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## huzah (Sep 11, 2010)

This isn't exactly SA related. My short reply was short for a reason. To indicate that this is in no way a unique 'problem'

Guys are gonna look at butts, guys are gonna look at boobs. Guys are gonna want to have sex with the person attached to said assets. Guys are gonna feel bad said person doesn't think the same about them. But just like any other mentally sound person you realise these women are their own person, and they can do whatever they damn well please.

Go count your blessings & bone your girlfriend. Ignore this little 'problem' of yours as best you can, just like literally any other guy who isn't a 6'8 muscular six-packed tanned ****toy.

Well either that or get chemically castrated, choice is yours.


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## Emma-Pixie89 (Jun 20, 2018)

To be fair it's hard not to think of sex when you can see a girl's underwear, i wish i could have some sort of answer for you but unfortunately not, all i can say is i think a lot of people have these thoughts (myself included) and you kind of just have to zone out a bit. I am also bisexual but I'm also married to a man and sometimes i am overwhelmed with thoughts about women(never other men) and i have to just try and focus on other things. Easier said than done i know, but just know you aren't alone and a lot of people go through the same thing.


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## huzah (Sep 11, 2010)

Not just a lot of people, nearly everyone. I'm guessing it gets better over time, as libido reduces. But what the hell do I know.

I always wondered about that btw, bisexual people in a relationship. I always figured there'd be a lot of desire left there. Interesting!


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Welcome to college. 
You know all kinds of crazy stuff happens on campus. Those kids don't know anything about real life (well, most of them anyway). 


Dressing skanky will only go so far, but will they have self-respect in the morning.


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## funnynihilist (Jul 29, 2014)

millenniumman75 said:


> Welcome to college.
> You know all kinds of crazy stuff happens on campus. Those kids don't know anything about real life (well, most of them anyway).
> 
> Dressing skanky will only go so far, but will they have self-respect in the morning.


People still care about self respect?


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

funnynihilist said:


> People still care about self respect?


Apparently not. That's a rude awakening for many.


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## MechanicallyMinded (Jul 17, 2017)

You guys have some decent points I just feel over stimulated all time and I hate it.

I wish I could shut it off, I wish I could just talk to a 19 year old wearing botty shorts and a tanktop and not think about getting in her pants.

It's so against the way I want to think and feel. I work with these girls in projects and design clubs and most of them are really smart and I respect their mind and I feel kinda bad when I realize I'm totally checking out there *** and having some really dirty thoughts. 

I mean yeah its hard when 80% of the girls here wear shorts that are high enough for me almost to be able to see their crack (not even a little sarcastic) but I wish I could just walk around school and not get flustered and distracted.

It feels so stupid and it distracts me alot, sometimes I can't even do my homework over how horny I get. I get thst it's natural but I wish it wasn't so hard to focus on something other than sex.

That's why I feel like there's something wrong with me, I mean isn't it a bad sign when you get so horny you can't focus on normal ****, just from being next to hot girls. 

Idk maybe I'm over exaggerating it all but I just want to do my homework and get through school hahaha curse you sexy teases (sound like the lamest nerd in the world)

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## MechanicallyMinded (Jul 17, 2017)

Yeah but as a 24 year old adult (in comparison to these kids) I'm done with the mad crazy kid stuff I just want to get a degree and try not to cheat on my girlfriend but these girls make it so damn hard to concentrate. 
Why do girls want to show their *** off so bad doesn't it make them feel emabressed when guys stare?

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## funnynihilist (Jul 29, 2014)

MechanicallyMinded said:


> Yeah but as a 24 year old adult (in comparison to these kids) I'm done with the mad crazy kid stuff I just want to get a degree and try not to cheat on my girlfriend but these girls make it so damn hard to concentrate.
> Why do girls want to show their *** off so bad doesn't it make them feel emabressed when guys stare?
> 
> Sent from my SM-S902L using Tapatalk


Quite the opposite, they feel empowered (but only if the right guys stare)

Let's not forget that women have a window of time to leverage their sexuality and college is prime time.


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## MechanicallyMinded (Jul 17, 2017)

And is it wrong if I stare if I'm not that guy. I guarantee I'm not no college girls wants a guys that's overweight. So I'm just surrounded by all this eye candy that doesn't even want me and I just feel like **** after a while.

And then I get pissed off at the girls for making me feel depressed. I ****ing hate that feeling.


funnynihilist said:


> Quite the opposite, they feel empowered (but only if the right guys stare)
> 
> Let's not forget that women have a window of time to leverage their sexuality and college is prime time.


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## funnynihilist (Jul 29, 2014)

MechanicallyMinded said:


> And is it wrong if I stare if I'm not that guy. I guarantee I'm not no college girls wants a guys that's overweight. So I'm just surrounded by all this eye candy that doesn't even want me and I just feel like **** after a while.
> 
> And then I get pissed off at the girls for making me feel depressed. I ****ing hate that feeling.
> 
> Sent from my SM-S902L using Tapatalk


No reason to be depressed or angry when you realize that the whole thing is just a biological game.
At 47 when I see a girl dressed provocatively I may appreciate her from an aesthetic standpoint but I also see the game she is playing as being kind of cheap and two dimensional.
Now the woman who can be provocative with her mind is quite another story.


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## MechanicallyMinded (Jul 17, 2017)

I respect your opinion and your resolve but I don't quite have that in me as of yet.

Normally I do but college is insanely stressful in my field. I just quit smoking, I'm in a lead position in two design projects and I'm taking 16 credits (I know boo hoo he's doing things with his life) I get that, but still the stress makes me super weak.

At the end of the day I feel like I just need a vacation with a pound of coke and ten of these girls but that's such a childish wish.

I just feel broken weak and undeserving. I hate that girls don't want me (even if I'm not really trying to get them) and I hate that I don't get a break and noone around me gives a damn when I walk around half destroyed in the shear weight of my schedule and the thousands of things I need to do.

It's the third week of classes and I'm already at the end of my wits. And the cheap games are working wonders destroying the little focus I'm trying to keep.

Some days are better than others but I still feel like a gross perv when I lose my state of mind. And I really don't want to make girls feel awkward even if they do dress ****ty. It's not really my business to judge them.

Sorry I'm getting kind of ranty now I'm just having a super drag *** of a Tuesday


funnynihilist said:


> No reason to be depressed or angry when you realize that the whole thing is just a biological game.
> At 47 when I see a girl dressed provocatively I may appreciate her from an aesthetic standpoint but I also see the game she is playing as being kind of cheap and two dimensional.
> Now the woman who can be provocative with her mind is quite another story.


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## OneStarOneWish (Sep 12, 2016)

MechanicallyMinded said:


> Really really weird I know, my mind is all over the place. Plus I have a girlfriend I don't want this little college thots in my head all the time


Im confused :con:con


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## MechanicallyMinded (Jul 17, 2017)

Hahaha I'm confused too. What part has you like "wtf is this guy thinking"


OneStarOneWish said:


> Im confused :con:con


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## EggsBenedict (Dec 28, 2017)

Well, at least you have a girlfriend who apparently likes you enough. Hopefully, you're not just stringing her along or something.

Of course you're worried about how other girls think of you. You're always gonna see and want hot booty. Forget about it.


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## MechanicallyMinded (Jul 17, 2017)

EggsBenedict said:


> Well, at least you have a girlfriend who apparently likes you enough. Hopefully, you're not just stringing her along or something.
> 
> Of course you're worried about how other girls think of you. You're always gonna see and want hot booty. Forget about it.


I'm certainly not stringing her along we've been together for 6 years now, I have no problem with her and work decently together.

However she isn't in college and doesn't have near as high of a sex drive as myself. I don't blame her for not being a total **** for me all the time, but when I'm this stressed out my urges go through the roof and when I'm at school she's not around and all I have is college girls messing with my mind.

I'm not saying I'm inoccent or its right to have other girls in my head but that's the whole reason I'm talking about it. I'm at least honest with myself if nothing else.

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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

what does it have to do with confidence? or was that just a cool sounding thread title?


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## MechanicallyMinded (Jul 17, 2017)

andy1984 said:


> what does it have to do with confidence? or was that just a cool sounding thread title?


Confidence has a little to do with it. Was just my mood when I made the post felt insecure being around girls that I know dont want me.

Maybe more confidence would make me not even want them.

Read what ever you want into it I mostly just wanted to start an interesting conversation and vent a little bit on the before this ****ing schooling ate me alive.

I don't have time to go to a counsler so I ***** on here. Make sense

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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

MechanicallyMinded said:


> Confidence has a little to do with it. Was just my mood when I made the post felt insecure being around girls that I know dont want me.
> 
> Maybe more confidence would make me not even want them.
> 
> ...


oh i can be a counselor. do you feel like you're not confident about your relationship? difference in sex drives can be quite a difficulty.

it really sounds more like a self esteem problem - you need them to like you so you can like you.


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## MechanicallyMinded (Jul 17, 2017)

I'm fairly confident in my relationship. It's more like I want them to like me because I feel like I deserve more respect than I get.

Some of its insecurities for sure, but I wouldn't say I purely feel that. Depends on my mood and how I'm being treated.

I really really hate feeling like I'm being overlooked in this world. It's cocky and childish but it's honest. I'm not trying to feel like a star but I wish I just meant a speckle more to people. All around me other guys are getting more respect and looked at like they are worth something but I'm here busting my *** for this world and I get **** for all in return.



andy1984 said:


> oh i can be a counselor. do you feel like you're not confident about your relationship? difference in sex drives can be quite a difficulty.
> 
> it really sounds more like a self esteem problem - you need them to like you so you can like you.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

MechanicallyMinded said:


> I'm fairly confident in my relationship. It's more like I want them to like me because I feel like I deserve more respect than I get.
> 
> Some of its insecurities for sure, but I wouldn't say I purely feel that. Depends on my mood and how I'm being treated.
> 
> ...


yeah it does sound a bit cocky and childish. you've already got a girlfriend.


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## MechanicallyMinded (Jul 17, 2017)

andy1984 said:


> yeah it does sound a bit cocky and childish. you've already got a girlfriend.


Hahaha yeah thanks captin obvious. The point isn't that I don't understand my problems the point is that I'm trying to understand WHY I have them and how to control them.

I wouldn't be interested in a counselor if I couldn't recognize a problem. Knowing what an issue is and stopping it are two different things. You shouldn't offer help if you don't understand even what someone's asking for. Now your just gonna piss me off and who's that helping

Edit PS: I'm also kinda tired right now don't take anything too personally, I just come off as pissy when I'm pissy..lol

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## TheFather (Sep 20, 2012)

I think that college campuses are typically filled to the brim with young, hot blooded twenty-sometimes who have finally broken free from parental control and go absolutely wild. Many of them have not had to grow up yet, or accept adult responsiblity. Their only focus is sex, sex, fun, and more sex. As much sex as they can get. However, some studies I've read show that only the top percent of "attractive" students actually have a lot of sex in college. It's just like in the economic world currently, in the "sex" world of US universities today, only a handful of people are having oodles of sex, while most people simply aren't. So don't feel bad that you aren't out sowing wild oats among these young women, most guys aren't. It's natural to see a load of conventionally attractive women and feel, "pulled" towards them. Your hormones are going into overdrive, and it isn't likely you'll ever be surrounded by that many young women in life again. Many girls, or really people for that matter, in college have no idea of how to be an adult yet, and as such college is mostly just high school part II, the more freedom-included edition. Also remember that most colleges have a female population of between 60-70%! That means that you'll mostly see women, with a spattering of guys here and there. The male-to-female ratio is actually quite bad in many places and colleges are having a tough time keeping young males enrolled. 



So overall, you have a nice girlfriend. Accept the fact that when one is placed in an ocean, it is better to swim than to drown. You've been thrown into an ocean of women, and you must swim around the temptation and lust and focus on loving your girlfriend and being the best boyfriend you can be. A lot of people in college don't pursue relationships, because either they're very serious about academics and use all their time learning; or they prefer hook ups and casual sex to relationships. Either way you're not missing out on much. Try to keep your eyes off all the distractions and focus on the big picture.


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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

MechanicallyMinded said:


> Hahaha yeah thanks captin obvious. The point isn't that I don't understand my problems the point is that I'm trying to understand WHY I have them and how to control them.
> 
> I wouldn't be interested in a counselor if I couldn't recognize a problem. Knowing what an issue is and stopping it are two different things. You shouldn't offer help if you don't understand even what someone's asking for. Now your just gonna piss me off and who's that helping
> 
> ...


He was being a d1ck iyam.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

MechanicallyMinded said:


> Hahaha yeah thanks captin obvious. The point isn't that I don't understand my problems the point is that I'm trying to understand WHY I have them and how to control them.
> 
> I wouldn't be interested in a counselor if I couldn't recognize a problem. Knowing what an issue is and stopping it are two different things. You shouldn't offer help if you don't understand even what someone's asking for. Now your just gonna piss me off and who's that helping
> 
> ...


you're attracted to attractive girls. unsurprisingly. but then you also want more attention from them for questionable reasons. ok, your thoughts/feelings about them are questionable. and not getting the attention you want is making you feel bleh - because for some reason you feel like you are owed more attention/whatever.

so work on the wanting attention and work on the feeling like people owe you something. both of those seem wrong. how do you stop it? there's no magic, just introspection and rational thinking. why would anyone owe you anything? just cos you want to be more popular/liked? that you have a girlfriend should be a defense against those thoughts - you don't need their attention because you already have someone's attention.

you wrote the words that they "destroy my confidence". that sounds really major. i don't know why it would be such a massive problem unless you have some underlying beliefs which are a bit out there.

so yeah, CBT techniques (like rational thinking) and introspection, acceptance, etc. the boring answer. all the answers are boring. that's why i want to give d1ck answers. buy a self help book or make time to see a counselor.


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## andy0128 (Dec 19, 2003)

Are you not happy in your current relationship? Do any of these girls want to hook up with you? It's kinda normal otherwise to be attracted like that. You're in your sexual prime.


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## MechanicallyMinded (Jul 17, 2017)

Yeah go **** yourself too buddy ;p. Mother ****ers act like fixing buried issues is so easy but they can't even fix thier own SA issues.

I dont know what kind of dumb **** you think I am but your missing everything.

If rational thinking was really the answer emotions would have no existence. They in thier very nature are almost designed to be against rational thinking.

The nature of one's obsessions are often buried deep in young young memories and events.

I live in a world where rational thinking trumps everything. And yet I still fall into apish emotions.

But why, why would someone capable of seeing the reason past them still fall for them. Why don't I just workout everyday and eat right to cure my weight problem. Why don't I just buy a hooker to cure my sex drive. Why dont I just fix all my issues the rational way.

These are the real questions I need to answer before I deal with my issues. Your solutions have far little value than you think.


andy1984 said:


> you're attracted to attractive girls. unsurprisingly. but then you also want more attention from them for questionable reasons. ok, your thoughts/feelings about them are questionable. and not getting the attention you want is making you feel bleh - because for some reason you feel like you are owed more attention/whatever.
> 
> so work on the wanting attention and work on the feeling like people owe you something. both of those seem wrong. how do you stop it? there's no magic, just introspection and rational thinking. why would anyone owe you anything? just cos you want to be more popular/liked? that you have a girlfriend should be a defense against those thoughts - you don't need their attention because you already have someone's attention.
> 
> ...


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## MechanicallyMinded (Jul 17, 2017)

I am happy enough in my relationship but I have always had issues of feeling overly sexual. I don't know how to turn it off. It's not like I would ever cheat on my girlfriend at all its just my brain feeds off needing to be wanted and helpful and praised and worth something to the world.

And for some weird *** reason it's all tied to sex and I'm clueless as to why I even care in the first place.

It's all emotion based things I'm not even trying to feel.


andy0128 said:


> Are you not happy in your current relationship? Do any of these girls want to hook up with you? It's kinda normal otherwise to be attracted like that. You're in your sexual prime.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

MechanicallyMinded said:


> Yeah go **** yourself too buddy ;p. Mother ****ers act like fixing buried issues is so easy but they can't even fix thier own SA issues.
> 
> I dont know what kind of dumb **** you think I am but your missing everything.
> 
> ...


ok... i'll let you know when i learn how to reach through the internet and manipulate your feelings for you. until then, adios.


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