# A way way more higher standard for a potential girlfriend



## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

I know I posted something like this a year ago but again I'm depress finding no one, that is it, no one! Seriously no one in my classes every semester or volunteer work that I've done in the past year since last June of 2006. I'm fantasizing so heavily

It feels weird from last year because the list is longer after countless of daily journal entries assessing who I am and my needs such as being in therapy for 10 years and being more knowledgable in general.

Personally I know who to approach. I just haven't found her, yet. And I'm not setting myself up for disappointment. I KNOW WHAT I WANT! OK? :b 

strongly introverted or shy (big and foremost important one)
whose an INFP Myers-Briggs
has creative meaningful hobbies
lives frugally
lives simply
critical with her appearance, 
very few close, solid, meaningful friends
doesn't feel close with shallow people...extremely hard to connect with them
whose not necessarily close to her own family but loves them dearly
who likes the fine arts
likes all kinds of music especially classical 
that wouldn't mind me playing a Chopin or Tchaikovsky on the piano for her 
that also wouldn't mind me singing and playing Coldplay on the piano for her  
who is well read that likes history, psychology, social justice, biography books
who is extremely critical of US Foreign Policy
who has a yearn to volunteer overseas
who likes volunteering in society in anyway to do good and for fun
whose political orientation of course is strongly liberal and progressive not Democrat liberal like Green Party liberal
whose career is a healing, helping, teaching profession
whose strongly humanistic
who has worked longterm with a therapist
has experience her own sense of suffering
general likes people in general, a people's person 
who is strongly or somewhat spiritual
not necessarily religious but spiritual
who believes in personal growth
who believes in spiritual growth
who is sensitive to human rights
who is ecologically sensitive
who loves nature
who loves recreation 
who wants to travel and see the world
who lives everyday as if it were her last
who tries, explores and eats different types of ethnic foods
who is sensitive to racism
who is politically active
who commits her life to social, cultural, and political justice
who is healthy meaning physically active...exercises rountinely 
who likes yoga
who likes meditation
who does aromatherapy
who tries and explores other alternative medicine, Reiki, Qigong, Tai Chi etc
who believes we are composed of chakras
who believes in astrology
who likes tennis
who likes biking
who likes jogging
who eats healthy and is not overweight
who doesn't like makeup
who is sensitive to animal rights but still eats meat
who journals for fun and for personal and spiritual growth
who likes learning for fun, a lifelong learner
who smiles a lot
who always needs hugs a lot
who expresses a lot of feeling in her communication
who knows how to give empathy
who can understand why K-Pax is my favorite movie
who is strongly dependant
who has other mental health symptoms 
and who believes in reincarnation and wants to find each other again in our next life :b 

:hide


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Gerard,

Would you settle for a girl that doesn't have all of those? I hope this doesn't set it too high for you - you might miss out! :yes


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## michellejl (Aug 20, 2006)

*re: A way way more higher standard for a potential girlfrien*

And I thought it was asking too much to want a man who is an infp, Christian, and loves kids. :lol (well thought I was being picky on the infp) I figure if I can't find a man with at least these 3 things, I'm better off alone. But that is quite a list you have there. Wow, good luck Gerard. :b


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## michellejl (Aug 20, 2006)

*re: A way way more higher standard for a potential girlfrien*

double post


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

*re: A way way more higher standard for a potential girlfrien*

I wish you a lot of luck with that. But, you might have to face that you might not find a girl with *all* those qualities/likes/attributes.

I never had a straight up 'list' for looking for a mate. For me, it was more about how he would relate to me personally, not his likes/dislikes. The only things that I would actively look for is that he loves animals, doesn't drink excessively, doesn't abuse drugs, isn't a pathological lier, has compassion for other people... that's really about it.

Too, chemistry is key. Even if you met someone with most or all of the things on your list, if chemistry isn't there, it's not going to work.


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

*re: A way way more higher standard for a potential girlfrien*

Sounds like an incredible girl. Good luck with that.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

*re: A way way more higher standard for a potential girlfrien*

How wedded are you to the idea of being alone?


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## gwen (Feb 16, 2007)

*re: A way way more higher standard for a potential girlfrien*

ok your post is highly depressing. I secretly think every man has one of these crazy lists, expectations that are impossible to live up to. I'm thankful however that I no longer dwell on this thought- whenever that feeling shows up ( like right now after reading this) I just remind myself that what makes me truly happy is achieving my own goals for my own self.

Maybe what you're really looking for is a better you- maybe your standards for yourself are just way to high and therefore you never achieve self satisfaction? Sometimes the people I'm most attracted to are those who have the qualities that I don't. Maybe I'm just talking ****? but good luck with your search.


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## barnabas (Apr 24, 2007)

*re: A way way more higher standard for a potential girlfrien*

women have their expectations as well:



> What I Want in a Man, Original List:
> 1. Handsome
> 2. Charming
> 3. Financially successful
> ...


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

*Re: re: A way way more higher standard for a potential girlf*



gwen said:


> ok your post is highly depressing. I secretly think every man has one of these crazy lists, expectations that are impossible to live up to.


Nah, trust me, I think even most guys here would agree that his list was a bit ridiculous. Anyone that has a list of 100 specific things that they require in a partner is going to be pretty disappointed in the long run.

No one ever finds their perfect partner, and I think it's pretty important to accept that fact. If you wait around for your idea of a perfect woman/man, you're going to find yourself 80 years old and alone.


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## mranonhello (Nov 13, 2003)

*re: A way way more higher standard for a potential girlfrien*

One day Gerard will find that perfect girl, but she will have her own list that he doesn't match. :lol


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## terpswin! (Mar 2, 2007)

*re: A way way more higher standard for a potential girlfrien*

I know someone who fits all of those. Except, she likes to listen to the Beatles on the piano and hates Coldplay. :lol

If that's really your list, are you sure you didn't intentionally make it so exclusive so that you never have to deal with facing rejection?


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

:lol on all of you.


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## Nae (Nov 10, 2003)

*Re: re: A way way more higher standard for a potential girlf*



Zephyr said:


> How wedded are you to the idea of being alone?


 :lol


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

*Re: re: A way way more higher standard for a potential girlf*



terpswin! said:


> I know someone who fits all of those. Except, she likes to listen to the Beatles on the piano and hates Coldplay. :lol


Snap her up. She's got good taste. That's rare...



Nae said:


> Zephyr said:
> 
> 
> > How wedded are you to the idea of being alone?
> ...


I wasn't really trying to be funny....


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

*re: A way way more higher standard for a potential girlfrien*

I got a good laugh out of the women's list....

As usual, I am a parrot echoing Annie  



leppardess said:


> I wish you a lot of luck with that. But, you might have to face that you might not find a girl with all those qualities/likes/attributes.
> 
> Too, chemistry is key. Even if you met someone with most or all of the things on your list, if chemistry isn't there, it's not going to work.


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

*Re: re: A way way more higher standard for a potential girlf*



Penny said:


> As usual, I am a parrot echoing Annie


 :lol I've just been around the corner too many times :um :b


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

*re: A way way more higher standard for a potential girlfrien*

It seems like your list is a little too specific. It's not a problem to narrow down the possible choices a little, but if they meet a majority of your criteria, you might be able to work on getting her to change a few things about herself to match what you are looking for a little better.

Then again, a few of those things seem like you are just limiting yourself too much. I would try to rank those requirements from 1 to 50 (or however many you have) then take the top 10 and try to see how many girls you can find that would meet those requirements. See if she is open to doing things with you (going to political meeting, jogging outside, playing tennis, traveling, etc&#8230

To *gwen*, don't worry about the lists too much. Most of the time they are normal things like *leppardess* said. We want people who will like us and not hurt us, and to make sure they have a few of the same interests we do.


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## LoneLioness (Nov 16, 2003)

My list probably isn't as long but is harder to find. I'd rather be alone then with someone who didn't fit it though, better to have loved and lost isn't true for everyone. If I had to chose I'd rather spend a life alone then to get in a failed relationship, and any relationship I got into with someone who didn't fit my requirments would most definatly fail.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

*re: A way way more higher standard for a potential girlfrien*



> What I Want in a Man, Original List:
> 1. Handsome
> 2. Charming
> 3. Financially successful
> ...


This is awesome :lol


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## BJ (Mar 1, 2007)

.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I fit that list for the 30+ man, however, I am checking my nose and ears as I type this!


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## mismac (Oct 27, 2005)

millenniumman75 said:


> I fit that list for the 30+ man, however, I am checking my nose and ears as I type this!


Seriously dude, I STILL don't know why you're still single.

As for the list...I used to have a list, but that was in my single days. I threw that list away when I met current guy. Who needs a list when you have red hot chemistry?? :b

Having said that, it's good to have a general list of what you want or don't want in a partner. You gotta have at least *some* standards.


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## gwen (Feb 16, 2007)

*re: A way way more higher standard for a potential girlfrien*

Thanks for the reassurance- I'm not that worried, I'm pretty positive most of the time.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

*re: A way way more higher standard for a potential girlfrien*

That's a fine list, just don't reject someone because they don't have _all_ those attributues-that would be the definition of ludicrous.


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

*Re: A way way more higher standard for a potential girlfrien*

I think that you may find someone with some of those qualities but it will be difficult to meet someone who has every thing in common with you.


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## jane (Jan 30, 2006)

It's like that Cake song, short skirt, long jacket.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

*re: A way way more higher standard for a potential girlfrien*

not trying to be rude or a jerk but did you create that list to make excuses for why you're single, maybe on a subconscious level?


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## barnabas (Apr 24, 2007)

Are we the only ones who think Gerard was mostly kidding when he posted this...? :um


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

And here I thought it was only women who had ridiculously high expectations in a mate...are...you...serious?


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## mismac (Oct 27, 2005)

barnabas said:


> Are we the only ones who think Gerard was mostly kidding when he posted this...? :um


Nah, I thought he was joking too.


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

stellar said:


> barnabas said:
> 
> 
> > Are we the only ones who think Gerard was mostly kidding when he posted this...? :um
> ...


No, I am not. I'm deadly serious. Gad. Some of you guys/gals just don't understand. Eh, I just feel like crap right now. Forget it. :fall


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

Maybe he's describing someone that he knows already. :stu


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## mismac (Oct 27, 2005)

Gerard said:


> No, I am not. I'm deadly serious. Gad. Some of you guys/gals just don't understand. Eh, I just feel like crap right now. Forget it. :fall


Well, in THAT case...good luck dude!!


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## barnabas (Apr 24, 2007)

we're with njodis on this one. opcorn


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