# Help, I'm primarily attracted to white girls



## J.T. (Jan 9, 2009)

BUT I'm black.

and even the black girls I like usually have European attributes, e.g., Thandie Newton, Beyonce, and Hallie Berry.

Ooh, and when I say white girls, I'm not just talking about brunettes with olive skin.... I'm also talking about blond haired, really white girls, even country girls like Taylor Swift :heart. I love their facial features, light complexions, and especially their straight hair.

Before you say anything crazy or make any insane judgements about my life or thoughts, please read this list below.
1. I love my mother and we have a great relationship. I'm a mama's boy. 
2. I do NOT hate myself because I'm black. I do hate myself, but it's because of SA (and resulting life limitations) NOT because I'm black. 
3. I don't think white girls are easy
4. I don't think having a white girl would improve my status among peers. I'm extreme introvert, I don't really have any peers. 
5. I'm not brainwashed by the media. I don't really care about media because I'm an outcast. Outcast don't care about following societal standards of beauty, etc. 
6. I don't think white girls have better personalities. Personality is not related to race. Black girls can be just as adorable as white girls.

The above are common stereotypes I hear about black men who are attracted to white women. In my case, none of these are true. Why is it that so many negative stereotypes surround this issue anyways? Even gay people are treated better. Gay people are rarely accused of having self-hate, having ancestor-hate, having bad family relations, being abused, hating their parents, etc.

OK now back on topic

*If you have time, copy/paste the questions below and highlight your selection. *

What should I do? (I've never been on a date or anything; however, I might consider it one day)
A. Never date at all 
B. Only date black girls, despite my white primary attraction
C. Date whatever race you want to, even white girls (it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says)
D. Don't date white girls, but you can date any minority (Black, Asian, Hispanic, Indian, etc.).
E. I'm not voting. You're a traitor and I hate you.

Just out of curiosity (white girls), have you ever been attracted to a black guy (be honest)?
A. Yes 
B. No

Can I change my primary attraction?
A. Yes, here's how 
B. No, you shouldn't want to change it anyways. There is nothing wrong with how you feel.
C. No. There is something wrong with you, but there's nothing you can do about it.

P.S., this was a very difficult post for me to make; however, you can be honest. I would rather hear blunt honesty than gentle lies.

*Also, *I know their are not a lot of black guys on this forum... but please do not assume I'm a representative for most black guys. Nor am I a representative for most black guys who are attracted to white women. Just like each white person is unique, each black person is unique... and I would argue that I'm not only unique, but extremely unique in all aspects of my life.


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## MNM (Oct 3, 2012)

Who cares? You like what you like... just make sure you find a girl who loves you for you and you love her for her and all the rest will be ok


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## deltarain8 (Sep 26, 2012)

What should I do? (I've never been on a date or anything; however, I might consider it one day)

*C. Date whatever race you want to, even white girls (it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says)
* 
*As a member of the "Pure Black Girl Alliance", I grant you permission to date/marry whomever you like and make lots of cute biracial babies.*

Can I change my primary attraction?

*B. No, you shouldn't want to change it anyways. There is nothing wrong with how you feel.*

*You seem like a pretty self aware guy, so I don't think your obsession with white/white looking women is a product of the media or self hate. 
Maybe you view white women as something exotic or new. "The unexplored frontier" lol. Which is perfectly normal so take a deep breath...in...out.

In the end, keep your mind open. Don't pass up a great girl (whatever race she is) because you went chasing after a fantasy or you were scared of what others might think. *


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

You must have grew up around people who shunned this type of attraction. You seem to have already figured it all out. Race =/= personality and you claim to not be attracted for societal reasons. You just seem to simply be attracted to them. It's only a big deal to those who make it a big deal. In the grand scheme of things, who is your attraction hurting? Only those who possess this primordial instinct, in which case they are hurting themselves.

What should I do? (I've never been on a date or anything; however, I might consider it one day)
A. Never date at all 
B. Only date black girls, despite my white primary attraction
C. Date whatever race you want to, even white girls (it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says)
D. Don't date white girls, but you can date any minority (Black, Asian, Hispanic, Indian, etc.).
E. I'm not voting. You're a traitor and I hate you.

Just out of curiosity (white girls), have you ever been attracted to a black guy (be honest)?
A. Yes 
B. No 
C. I'm a dude

Can I change my primary attraction?
A. Yes, here's how 
B. No, you shouldn't want to change it anyways. There is nothing wrong with how you feel.
C. No. There is something wrong with you, but there's nothing you can do about it.
D. Maybe, but there is nothing wrong with how you feel. To be honest, I feel like attraction can sometimes be very frail. I believe that depending on the person, it may be very possible to change your primary attraction. My theory is that if you interact with something you're typically not attracted to on a certain level, you may naturally adjust. But again, this all depends on many other factors.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Plenty of white girls are attracted to black men.

And I say this, but I find all races of women attractive. I can find a black girl attractive, an asian girl attractive, a white girl attractive, a russian girl attractive, etc.

I am white, by the way.


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## roseblood (Mar 1, 2010)

*What should I do? (I've never been on a date or anything; however, I might consider it one day)*
C. Date whatever race you want to, even white girls (it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says)

Don't feel bad! It's just a preference of yours. Whatever floats your boat!

*Just out of curiosity (white girls), have you ever been attracted to a black guy (be honest)?
*A. Yes

I'm not white, but heck, i'll answer anyway. Oh goodness many many many times! I don't have a preference when it comes to race. It doesn't matter!

*Can I change my primary attraction?
*B. No, you shouldn't want to change it anyways. There is nothing wrong with how you feel.

This was the closest answer to what i thought. If you feel comfortable with it, then it's all that matters.


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

Im half black and half white and im attracted to girls of all shapes, sizes, and shades.... including white girls... so i dont really think theres anything wrong with u, or me for that matter... ur just attracted to what your attracted to and thats the way it is... im sure that there is black girls who are only attracted to white men.... in fact i know a few... cause i asked them out and they said that they dont date black men lol


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

Date whatever, it's 2012.


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## J.T. (Jan 9, 2009)

Wow  All these supportive, positive comments. Thank you. I'm surprised. I thought for sure that many people would condemn my feelings. When I typed in "black guys attracted to white girls" into Google, I found all kinds of negative answers and hateful, hurtful assumptions. 

Please keep the answers coming. It would be nice to hear more opinions. This issue is actually a big problem of mine. I grew up in predominantly white neighborhoods and went to predominantly white schools so I've always been surrounded by white girls but felt uncomfortable approaching them. In fact, the whole predominantly white experience is a bit awkward for a black guy with SA. In addition, many of my family member are against interracial dating.


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## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

Date whomever. It's not a huge deal.


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

Pale, blonde, white chick here who is highly attracted to black men so I say go for it .


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## Thinkerbell (Jul 8, 2012)

The women you named do not have European attributes. We can argue if you'd like.


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## Visionary (Apr 13, 2010)

Date to who you love to date

I'm dating a bi-racial guy, but I don't care, he's my everything and also very cute.


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## Visionary (Apr 13, 2010)

J.T. said:


> Wow  All these supportive, positive comments. Thank you. I'm surprised. I thought for sure that many people would condemn my feelings. When I typed in "black guys attracted to white girls" into Google, I found all kinds of negative answers and hateful, hurtful assumptions.
> 
> Please keep the answers coming. It would be nice to hear more opinions. This issue is actually a big problem of mine. I grew up in predominantly white neighborhoods and went to predominantly white schools so I've always been surrounded by white girls but felt uncomfortable approaching them. In fact, the whole predominantly white experience is a bit awkward for a black guy with SA. In addition, many of my family member are against interracial dating.


Don't worry about what your family has to say, my dad made a big deal about me dating a guy that is half black. I ignored it and continue to love my boyfriend. People should be happy that couples unite together.


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## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

Thinkerbell said:


> The women you named do not have European attributes. We can argue if you'd like.


Halle Berry and Thandie Newton are both half white. Beyonce has a white appearance with the blond hair and lighter skin.


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## Suffer Little Children (Sep 13, 2012)

I don't understand what the issue is. I think you should pursue whomever you're attracted to, whether she's white or black. And if you tend to be attracted to white girls, then so be it. Sure, some people are going to have a problem with interracial relationships, even today. But you should value your own happiness above theirs.

I don't think there's any problem with this, and I don't think you should try to change your romantic and sexual preferences.


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## Alas Babylon (Aug 28, 2012)

Why would anyone care about the race of the people you date? 
If you want to date white girls, date white girls.


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

So? Who cares?


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## MarcLikesBikes (Sep 30, 2012)

Removed.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

Do what you got to do.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Every one likes white girls. Who doesn't?


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## MarcLikesBikes (Sep 30, 2012)

Removed.


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## deltarain8 (Sep 26, 2012)

I don't think he's being racist. And i can understand why this is a dilemma for him. Like he said his family does not agree with interracial dating. It can be hard to go against family.


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## BrookeHannigan (Mar 29, 2012)

why are you talking about blonde haired white girls like they are so ugly and unattractive and you shoudl feel ashamed of yourself to be attracted to them
you talk about being attracted to white girls is like a massive disease/shame...

I could say so many thing but kdkm
oh and to your question if I have ever been atracted to them.
I have never seen a black man in real life so I cant speak for that
but there are good looking men of all races.
+++ taylor swift also has curly hair.


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

Try to pick a one and get married if you are lucky.


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## J.T. (Jan 9, 2009)

BrookeHannigan said:


> why are you talking about blonde haired white girls like they are so ugly and unattractive and you shoudl feel ashamed of yourself to be attracted to them
> you talk about being attracted to white girls is like a massive disease/shame...
> 
> I could say so many thing but kdkm
> ...


By straight, I mean like non-afros. Look up afro, that's what our hair looks like naturally. Taylor swifts is wavy, not really the same.

OK, on to more important business

*To understand what type of negative judgements and stereotypes us black guys who interracial date or consider interracial dating have to deal with, read this article....and it's not just this guy, many people make such judgements about black interracial daters. *
http://www.blacknews.com/news/black_mans_attraction_white_women101.shtml

Here's a copy, I doubt anyone is going to read the whole thing, so *I'll just highlight the words that I think are most relevant/important.
* 
*Post-Traumatic Slavery Disorder: The Black Man's Attraction For White Women - Love, Lust or a Legacy of Self-Hatred?*
_By Umar R. Abdullah-Johnson, Nationally Certified School Psychologist,_
_President of National Movement to Save Black Boys (NMSBB) & Kinsman to Frederick Douglass_

In 1967 a white man in Virginia, named Loving, sued the state of Virginia for the right to marry a Black woman. Since the U.S. Supreme Court struck down anti-miscegenation laws nationwide, in the aftermath of the Civil Rights & Voting Rights Acts, Black men, in the United States, have married outside of their race more than the men of all other races combined. To what do we owe this unique attraction that the male descendants of ex-slaves have for women with whom had they been caught 75 years ago would have resulted in instant lynching? Asked another way, why do Black men choose not to marry their own women?

Although we see this unfortunate state of affairs taking place on the celebrity level at an increased rate, the truth of the matter is that even middle-class Black men desire a wife of European stock. The answer to this social predicament is rather obvious, has it roots in historical oppression *and is the natural outgrowth of self-hatred*. Black men, having suffered emasculation more than any other male population in United States history, *is constantly longing for approval from the greater white society, and in particular for a validation of their manhood.* For many Black men, the desire for social approval, especially from whites, increases with the degree of their economic, occupational and material success. Thusly, the desire to be "treated" and "perceived" as "equal" tends to intensify as the Black man attempts to validate himself by "copying" the white man in all other spheres of life but yet the stain of inferiority and inequality remains stamped upon his unconscious. Thusly, to cope with this internal and *unconscious pain of inferiority the psychologically crippled Black man seeks the white woman's hand in marriage principally as a means of achieving validation and acceptance into white culture. *

 Despite the reality that he will never be integrated, accommodated or acculturated into the greater white societal structure, he is now able to cope because he now goes home to a symbolic representation of the white world, the white female. When she tells him that she loves him, *when she stares with blue or green eyes into his soul, he has a mental orgasm that implies, although erroneously, that he has finally achieved acceptance into the White world.* *Obviously, the implications of low self-esteem and racial self-hatred cannot be overstated in this discussion*. Having been reviled, mistreated, marginalized and outcast for most of his life; after receiving his education and career placement he now feels that it is possible to rejoin the same society that has rejected him. 

 Without question, Black men married to white women would argue to the contrary, as no human being will readily admit to hating himself. However, despite the "love" argument, which implies that the accident of nature and spirit brought them together, we find socioeconomic reasons for why White women marry Black men. Simply put, approximately 98% of the White women married to Black men have gained within the arrangement a financial quality of life benefit that these Black men tend to ignore. White women primarily marry Black men from whom they can gain something. Take a quick look at the all-to-prevalent NBA and NFL marriages and you will find dark-skinned, nappy-headed men married to blonde haired Ango-Saxon model-type beauties. Would this have even been possible had he not been a millionaire? How many instances can we point to White women marrying down in socioeconomic status? If love is blind, why is it so difficult to find a rich White woman married to a poor Black man?* Interracial relationships between Black men and non-African women is about self-hatred, rejection of Black women* and financial exploitation by these non-African women who use the Black man's lust for white acceptance as a means of getting rich. 

 If we look at Tiger Woods, we find a Black man who self-identified as a "Cablanasian." Part this and part that, but when he entered court being sued by his estranged European wife all the judge saw was another rich Black man who seemingly forgot that being married to a White women is a privilege which can and will be taken away whenever you attempt to take her for granted, like you do with your own Black women. Only 1:4 Black women will get married their lifetime. Given society's commitment to the mass incarceration, mis-education, effiminization/homosexualization and extermination of Black men this trend does not appear to be heading for a reverse anytime soon. 

 With so few available Black men left in our communities, Black women who want to marry, have children and raise families are now finding themselves in illegitimate polygamous arrangements with unintended consequences. Black women have been the foundation of the Black community since our days in the Peculiar Institution. *It has been our mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, and Queen Mothers of the community who risked, and lost, their lives to protect Black men; how dare we dishonor them by going outside of our race for marital satisfaction. *

 Lastly, w*e must be aware of the desire for the Black man to express his disdain for his racial genotype/phenotype* by bringing a bi-racial child into the world who will look more European than himself. Thusly, *he no longer has to be reminded of his dark-skin, broad lips, and nappy hair when he gazes upon his posterity*. Quite the opposite, if he is lucky - as nature has the final say, he will be pleased to be a White baby with only traces of African stock, and this makes him happy. Love is not blind, and marriage arrangements are financial institutions that have little to do with emotions. However, the Black woman has to be careful in how she raises her son and imparts to him standards of beauty. For all long as the bulk of Black women spend the greater part of their disposable income on Korean-controlled beauty products, trying to look "more white," they should not be surprised to find that their sons have chosen to trade in the false "want-to-be/trying-to-be" sister for the real thing. You must value your unique Africanity Queen, or you conversely teach your sons that White women are better. "My Mama wasn't good enough, so guess who I'm bringing to dinner?"

*You see the kind of B.S. judgments and stereotypes I have to deal with just for being primarily attracted to white girls and considering interracial dating. This guy (and many others) make it sound like black interracial daters hate themselves, their mothers, and their heritage. In truth, I just have a simple appearance preference.*


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## CWe (Mar 7, 2010)

White women rock!

its prolly cause my dad made me with one.


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## Rich19 (Aug 11, 2012)

deltarain8 said:


> I don't think he's being racist. And i can understand why this is a dilemma for him. Like he said his family does not agree with interracial dating. It can be hard to go against family.


Ok comment withdrawn. I didn't read the post properly:doh


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## Thinkerbell (Jul 8, 2012)

lyric said:


> Halle Berry and Thandie Newton are both half white. Beyonce has a white appearance with the blond hair and lighter skin.


Even though youre on a hiatus, I'll reply anyway. Obama and [insert list of biracial people] are half white but you wouldn't know it unless they told ya. Lots of black people have Beyonce and her family's skintone. Have you seen her nephew? A little curly hair kid with blue eyes and neither of his parents are white. Let's not get too off topic. Besides I can't even take this thread seriously.


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

Calm the fudge down, man. It's just a preference. No need to go through all those lengths to justify it.


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## musiclover55 (Feb 7, 2011)

Dude seriously? It doesn't matter. I'm black and I usually find myself crushing on white guys with blue eyes. It's ok. It's your life and if others don't approve, who cares? It's better to weed out the fakes anyway.


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## Sam1911 (Dec 4, 2010)

I'm dating a white girl .. I got good credit now :teeth I'd say go for white girls bro :boogie they rock


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## metamorphosis (Dec 18, 2008)

To the OP, J.T., I think your taking this subject way to far. You're an adult and it's perfectly fine if your black and you only like white girls. And it's perfectly fine if you're a white female and you only like black guys. This is 2012 not 1970 and it's not only okay for any person to have an attraction to only one ethnicity. People actually date and marry like this, example: A Caucasian guy who only likes Asian ladies, or African-American ladies who only like Latino or Spanish men. This is nothing special and I do believe it's actually legal in most countries!!!!

But I definitely need to know if it's okay for a white dude to only like white chicks. I really hope so or I'm in trouble!!!
I'm just kidding. I'm just partially bullish******. I find myself attracted to women of all races. I find ethnicity can add to the beauty of a lady!


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

Beyonce has white attributes? That *** looks black to me.

White girls, really though? I like some of them but not the helly boney ones where ****in em feels like pushin a wheelbarrel loaded with sharp sticks.

I like them thick ones who thighs wiggle when they step.


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

Me to bruh.White girls ROCK, BIG TIME!


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## strugglingforhope (Jun 13, 2009)

Well people can have preferences, but there is still an element of racism to be partial to preferring one race over another. In my experience people of all races are no different; they’re only differentiated from stereotypes and cultural biases. 

If you do prefer a certain race, you probably could use a little perspective about why you’d be turning down girls that weren't of your preferred race, and why it is that you truly desire one race over the other.

I know that the popular preference for men in our culture is white women, but saying ‘white women rock’ is inadvertently saying, ‘more than other races.’ We have these preferences largely because of how we were raised and images we saw growing up and in movies, idealisms of how a races’ culture fit societies expected sex roles and also how we are valued based on our choice of partner.

I don’t think people should stick to their own race; it’s perfectly ok to like any race – but being partial to someone of the opposite sex solely based on the color of their skin is unfair.


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## jmoop (Jul 12, 2009)

Like many others have said, there's nothing wrong with being attracted to a person of another race. It's when you shun those of your own race that it becomes an issue of self-hatred.

I myself am black and I am mostly attracted to men outside of my race, but I won't turn a brotha down if he's got a good personality because that's what matters most.


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## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

Disarray said:


> Date whatever, it's 2012.


Lol,I agree. It's just a shame that there are some people who forget.


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## Black And Mild (Apr 11, 2011)

Heh, do what you do man... If you want to be with white girls, so be it.

That said, are you *sure* they're aren't any outside influences determining what you find attractive?

..I would figure a guy that's unaffected by society's standard of beauty would have a more broad idea of what is attractive.


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