# Still no career and approaching 30 or past 30 years old?



## Inspiron

Hello, I'm actually 27 years old, however 30 is just around the corner for me and I still have no career. I've held part-time retail jobs but nothing major an I'm still living at home after I graduated with a useless bachelors degree (communication studies). I am thinking about going back to school whether it be for masters or vocational but I just want to go to work first before anything else because my earning my bachelor's degree was so painful and time consuming. 
It's not like I don't want to succeed, I've tired and did my best but I just end up failing. I'm worried that as I'm approaching 30 that I won't have a career unlike most of my peers who are already working in their careers and having their own families. I can't be in this rut forever something has to be done but I'm just not sure what though. It's almost as if my life has been cursed and no matter what I do something bad seems to always happen. 
I'm trying other avenues of careers like right now I'm trying to become a pc tech but it's close to impossible getting into that field. 
I would love to hear others stories on this subject matter so thanks in advance. 

How many of you out there are in similar shoes? What are you guys doing about it?


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## awkwardsilent

33 and no career, I have a "Job" though, and count my blessings for that. I had the option of going into management but I really feel like I can't handle the mental demands of being a supervisor and "responsible for everyone else". I already take on enough of that as an office minion (feel responsible for everything that goes wrong if its even vaguely associated with me/my work). So I've declined multiple offers because I just don't have the personality for managment. 

And I never went on after college, I did my BSc and then took a "break" the Break has lasted a decade. I just don't know what I want to do, at this point I feel like I will never know what i "want" to do. Right now I have a job that mostly pays the bills, has decent benefits but I feel like if i ever lost it i would not be able to find something else that bothers me but I can't seem to figure out what to do about it. 

I need to learn to tolerate discomfortable I am too comfortable in every are of my life even if I'm not HAPPY with it. It's "status quo" and I'm use to it so I stick with the same life, same friends, same job, same house, same city etc.


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## Inspiron

awkwardsilent said:


> 33 and no career, I have a "Job" though, and count my blessings for that. I had the option of going into management but I really feel like I can't handle the mental demands of being a supervisor and "responsible for everyone else". I already take on enough of that as an office minion (feel responsible for everything that goes wrong if its even vaguely associated with me/my work). So I've declined multiple offers because I just don't have the personality for managment.
> 
> And I never went on after college, I did my BSc and then took a "break" the Break has lasted a decade. I just don't know what I want to do, at this point I feel like I will never know what i "want" to do. Right now I have a job that mostly pays the bills, has decent benefits but I feel like if i ever lost it i would not be able to find something else that bothers me but I can't seem to figure out what to do about it.
> 
> I need to learn to tolerate discomfortable I am too comfortable in every are of my life even if I'm not HAPPY with it. It's "status quo" and I'm use to it so I stick with the same life, same friends, same job, same house, same city etc.


I can relate to feeling comfortable and just sticking to a routine in life; go to work, go home, sleep, than wake up go back to work etc or something like that. I think their are a lot of people like that in this world it's just that we hardly ever hear from them. I'm taking a break right now too from finishing my bachelors I don't want this break to last for 10 years; I was only look at 2-3 years than back to school or whatever. 
Thank god for my parents taking care of me if it weren't for them than I would be on the streets. I'm scared out of my wits about my future and I know that I cannot stop time. 
If I end up failing in life than I'll just have to accept and do my best with it. I guess some people weren't meant to succeed in life and it's all about acceptance and doing your best with what you've got.


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## Double Indemnity

35 and no career. There's peace that's come with acceptance that it's not going to happen for me. I just want a job with benefits that will pay the bills.

Most of my 20s were spent agonizing over the fact that I didn't have a career like my peers and that I wasn't getting "ahead." I have a bachelors degree but always go for jobs that i'm overqualified for because I can't handle a lot of responsibility and lack solid people skills.


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## CeilingStarer

Double Indemnity said:


> 35 and no career. There's peace that's come with acceptance that it's not going to happen for me. I just want a job with benefits that will pay the bills.
> 
> Most of my 20s were spent agonizing over the fact that I didn't have a career like my peers and that I wasn't getting "ahead." I have a bachelors degree but always go for jobs that i'm overqualified for because I can't handle a lot of responsibility and lack solid people skills.


I'm in much the same boat. Degree, but work rubbish jobs for various reasons.


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## fern

Inspiron said:


> Thank god for my parents taking care of me if it weren't for them than I would be on the streets. I'm scared out of my wits about my future and I know that I cannot stop time.


:ditto


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## Inspiron

Double Indemnity said:


> 35 and no career. There's peace that's come with acceptance that it's not going to happen for me. I just want a job with benefits that will pay the bills.
> 
> Most of my 20s were spent agonizing over the fact that I didn't have a career like my peers and that I wasn't getting "ahead." I have a bachelors degree but always go for jobs that i'm overqualified for because I can't handle a lot of responsibility and lack solid people skills.


What do you do now? How are you supporting yourself? 
I do the same thing with applying for jobs that I am overqualified for. I have been in leadership roles and it was tough but I'm not sure if I would do it for a living. 
I wish you the best in your future.


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## Double Indemnity

Inspiron said:


> What do you do now? How are you supporting yourself?
> I do the same thing with applying for jobs that I am overqualified for. I have been in leadership roles and it was tough but I'm not sure if I would do it for a living.
> I wish you the best in your future.


I'm currently unemployed. I'm living off of savings. I was working in admissions at a university, but I left that job in order to relocate to another state after I got divorced. I actually liked that job and am hoping to find something similar.


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## Justsomebloke

To be honest the whole careers thing is over rated so dont beat yourself up over it; I work to live not live to work is my favourate phrase on the subject. Though at the moment sadly I'm not working so even less living going on than normal. Earning enough to live your life and not hating your job are the important things to my mind, all this happy corporate wage slave indoctrination crap you can get bombarded with gets on my nerves at time! 

I hope it all works out for you


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## zork2001

If you are interested in IT I would talk to an Air Force Recruiter as a Reserve or Guard for a position in the IT field; you still have time. They pay you go to go to school, they get you a security clearance, and I believe now they even train and pay for the test to get a certification in your field. When you get back home a lot of the time your base will put you on a few months orders or even longer and you can get hands on job experience. After that point your resume will show you have a degree, certs, clearance, job experience you can pretty much go anywhere from there. I was in your shoes when I was like 25 best decision I made.


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## Inspiron

zork2001 said:


> If you are interested in IT I would talk to an Air Force Recruiter as a Reserve or Guard for a position in the IT field; you still have time. They pay you go to go to school, they get you a security clearance, and I believe now they even train and pay for the test to get a certification in your field. When you get back home a lot of the time your base will put you on a few months orders or even longer and you can get hands on job experience. After that point your resume will show you have a degree, certs, clearance, job experience you can pretty much go anywhere from there. I was in your shoes when I was like 25 best decision I made.


I've thought about the military and have contacted a recruiter for the Air Force, however after thinking it through the military is just not for me; it is a great opportunity. 
I really do want to get into the IT; it's really the only thing I see myself doing. There is so much competition in that field that I may not make it so I always have backup plans just in case. Thanks for the advice.


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## Wesses

I also don't have a career because of my issues. I am currently unemployed which really sucks....I try and stay positive but on this particular issue being positive is really hard.


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## Rocketman1973

I'm 39 and still don't have a career. Heck, I'm not even working at the moment. Because of major depression and social anxiety, I dropped out of high school in grade 11. My father started taking me to work with him when I turned 20, as a plumber and I pretty much kept working with him till his unexpected death when I was 25. Then, I lost interest and went from job to job. I could never hold a job for more than 4 months. I would be so scared driving to the job, I would turn the car around and go home! After my mother died a couple years ago, I was fortunate to inherit money from selling her house, so I lived off of that till now. Now, the money is completely gone and I have to force myself to work starting next week. It's either that or be homeless since I can't pay rent. I've never been so scared in my life!


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## howard26

I was/am a huge disappointment to my family and people from school. I don't care about people from school. I was passionate about music, but in a nutshell, i began to loathe the business of music, so now it's a hobby. I also worked part time jobs under my potential, then i started a yard biz. It's not what anyone envisioned for me, which really makes my blood boil. But, i just bought my first home, and i'm going to make the best of it.


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## Inspiron

Rocketman1973 said:


> I'm 39 and still don't have a career. Heck, I'm not even working at the moment. Because of major depression and social anxiety, I dropped out of high school in grade 11. My father started taking me to work with him when I turned 20, as a plumber and I pretty much kept working with him till his unexpected death when I was 25. Then, I lost interest and went from job to job. I could never hold a job for more than 4 months. I would be so scared driving to the job, I would turn the car around and go home! After my mother died a couple years ago, I was fortunate to inherit money from selling her house, so I lived off of that till now. Now, the money is completely gone and I have to force myself to work starting next week. It's either that or be homeless since I can't pay rent. I've never been so scared in my life!


Dame I'm so sorry to hear that; I hope that things turn around for you. Have you thought about going into business for yourself or possibly a franchise? That's what I may do if I can't find a career by 30. I know this maybe hard but you can also go back to school to get your GED and possibly further your education.

I wish you the best.


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## howard26

Rocketman, that's heavy stuff. I just can't imagine. I lost my dad when i was 21, and i've sort of been lost ever since. I saw no money because he didn't have his things in order, but i can't complain. It sort of made me, i guess you could say. I hope you can find something to sustain you.


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## Rocketman1973

I never thought of going into business for myself. A person needs the drive and passion, plus money. I don't have any of those things. 

Funny, a former friend of mine bought me a GED book to help me finish my education back in 2005. The thing is, it's as big as a phone book. It's a little overwhelming. I started to study from it and do the exercises in it, but never got past a certain chapter early in the book. I kind of gave up on it.

It's extremely hard when you have absolutely no family or even friends to guide you along in life. My dad was great at that, but after he passed, I really had no one. Not even brothers or sisters. I'm just a lost soul in the world. 

I was already threatened with an eviction 2 months ago for not paying rent on time. I had to take out a $6000 loan from a pawn shop, using my car as collateral. I had no other option to get that kind of money ASAP. The worst thing is, they are charging me over 55% interest! I've already missed the first payment of $600 and already started the harassing phone calls.

Rent is due again coming up and again have no money. But on the lighter side, I do have a job interview next week that pays $23.00/hour. The thought of me living on the street homeless scares the hell out of me and maybe what I need to get my *** in gear. If I get this job, things will look up, but if I don't get it, I won't know what to do. I might just end up joining my deceased parents


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## Inspiron

Rocketman1973 said:


> I never thought of going into business for myself. A person needs the drive and passion, plus money. I don't have any of those things.
> 
> Funny, a former friend of mine bought me a GED book to help me finish my education back in 2005. The thing is, it's as big as a phone book. It's a little overwhelming. I started to study from it and do the exercises in it, but never got past a certain chapter early in the book. I kind of gave up on it.
> 
> It's extremely hard when you have absolutely no family or even friends to guide you along in life. My dad was great at that, but after he passed, I really had no one. Not even brothers or sisters. I'm just a lost soul in the world.
> 
> I was already threatened with an eviction 2 months ago for not paying rent on time. I had to take out a $6000 loan from a pawn shop, using my car as collateral. I had no other option to get that kind of money ASAP. The worst thing is, they are charging me over 55% interest! I've already missed the first payment of $600 and already started the harassing phone calls.
> 
> Rent is due again coming up and again have no money. But on the lighter side, I do have a job interview next week that pays $23.00/hour. The thought of me living on the street homeless scares the hell out of me and maybe what I need to get my *** in gear. If I get this job, things will look up, but if I don't get it, I won't know what to do. I might just end up joining my deceased parents


All you need is a business loan to open your own business/franchise but I understand that is hard for you because of other obligations. That's what I'm planning on doing by 30 if I don't get a career started by than. Don't give up on your GED; there should some free or low cost GED prep classes in your local area just check. From there you can always go back and get your bachelors degree maybe in business or whatever your passion is.

That is great that you got a job interview; just curious what kind of job is it that pays that well? I have the same fear of living in the streets but for right now I've got my parents luckily. Things are already looking good for you.


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## Inspiron

howard26 said:


> I was/am a huge disappointment to my family and people from school. I don't care about people from school. I was passionate about music, but in a nutshell, i began to loathe the business of music, so now it's a hobby. I also worked part time jobs under my potential, then i started a yard biz. It's not what anyone envisioned for me, which really makes my blood boil. But, i just bought my first home, and i'm going to make the best of it.


What kind of yard biz is it? Congratulations on your first home; you can build good wealth with your own home. How old are you if you don't me asking? I would like to start my business someday but the thought of it scares the daylight out of me.


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## howard26

41. I'm behind schedule with everyone my age. It really didn't cost me much to get it going. I've streamlined my operation, and don't even use a trailer. I was in a tight spot, so i HAD to make it work. It's mostly mow, blow and go, but i do other odd jobs if they ask me; like hanging xmas lights, cleaning out a garage, etc. xmas tips are good.


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## intheshadows

Going to be 28 next month, still at "Slave-way".


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## Inspiron

intheshadows said:


> Going to be 28 next month, still at "Slave-way".


You mean the supermarket? I might just go off to graduate school if I get re-accepted. How long have you been at "Slave-way"? What are your plans for your future?

Good luck with everything.


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## intheshadows

Since the end of high-school. 
Maybe take some part-time course while working, but i'm still clueless on what to take.


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## Ckg2011

I am going to be 30 on December 26th, and currently have no job and I am a Community college dropout. I have only had 3 jobs and none of them have lasted that long. I recently applyed to Pizza Hut for a server job. Whooo.


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## bent

Rapidly approaching 40. Failed attempts in the past.


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## Inspiron

intheshadows said:


> Since the end of high-school.
> Maybe take some part-time course while working, but i'm still clueless on what to take.


I was in the same retail job for 5 years so it's all good. I have to ask do you ever feel funny for being there too long? Try to take a couple of classes or maybe go full-time at your local community college and than transfer up. Speak with a academic counselor and browse through the college catalog; it's really not that hard. Are you still living at home?



Ckg2011 said:


> I am going to be 30 on December 26th, and currently have no job and I am a Community college dropout. I have only had 3 jobs and none of them have lasted that long. I recently applyed to Pizza Hut for a server job. Whooo.


Time just flies doesn't it? Think about going back to community college only this time stay at school especially in the library all day so you can study. Keep applying for jobs it doesn't matter if it's retail or not. Are your parents supporting you? I'm still living at home with the folks until my career kicks in or until I go off to graduate school probably next Fall.


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## ravens

I'm 41 and I don't have a career. I did have a job from the age of 20 until last year with my father as a brick laborer. I have never made much money working and there were some years that I didn't make anything. I went to community college for a couple of months after I graduated high school but left when my family and I moved.


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## Inspiron

ravens said:


> I'm 41 and I don't have a career. I did have a job from the age of 20 until last year with my father as a brick laborer. I have never made much money working and there were some years that I didn't make anything. I went to community college for a couple of months after I graduated high school but left when my family and I moved.


What happen with your last job with your father? What are you plans for your future? I'm in a similar boat accept that I'm in my mid/late 20's.


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## ravens

Inspiron said:


> What happen with your last job with your father? What are you plans for your future? I'm in a similar boat accept that I'm in my mid/late 20's.


He had a stroke and now I'm taking care of both of my parents. I don't know what I'll do for the future. I've been thinking about trying to find a work at home job.


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## Inspiron

ravens said:


> He had a stroke and now I'm taking care of both of my parents. I don't know what I'll do for the future. I've been thinking about trying to find a work at home job.


Do you have any siblings or other family? Maybe you can try and go in business for yourself. Things must be tough for you but I hope you pull through.


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## ravens

Inspiron said:


> Do you have any siblings or other family? Maybe you can try and go in business for yourself. Things must be tough for you but I hope you pull through.


My father's family lives in the area but it seems it's a chore to get them to help.

My brother lived nearby until July of this year. The company he works for relocated him and his family to North Carolina. He has helped pay some of our bills. 
I've thought about going in to business for myself.

Thanks. I'm hoping things get better.


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## dismiss

I'm 39, & don't have a "career". 
I do have a job, though. Which is more than many can say. Through all the changes in the economy... I have always held some sort of job. 
& I'm only rockin' a GED. 
A ton of life experience now... But who gives a sh*t when all you have is a good enough diploma. 
The thought of taking on more debt, so I can lose what free time I have left, for training with no guarantees...
Meh, like I said, I've always had a job. 
I hope that makes _somebody_ feel better. 'Cause it isn't doin' anything for me. :teeth


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## AceRimmer

I'm rapidly approaching 40 and a career is a long lost dream nowadays. Unemployed for almost 3 years, I'd settle for a job flipping burgers but I can't even land those. My degrees are absolutely useless. I thought about going back for a comp sci degree but the IT/CS sector is even more ageist than the financial sector. As I mentioned before, I'm just screwed at this point.


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## M0rbid

Career? How about a decent job? Do they even exist nowadays? LOL I agree with AceRimmer, degrees are absolutely useless.


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## Inspiron

AceRimmer said:


> I'm rapidly approaching 40 and a career is a long lost dream nowadays. Unemployed for almost 3 years, I'd settle for a job flipping burgers but I can't even land those. My degrees are absolutely useless. I thought about going back for a comp sci degree but the IT/CS sector is even more ageist than the financial sector. As I mentioned before, I'm just screwed at this point.


I'm considering going into IT/CS with a degree but the only thing is I'm in my late 20's so by the time I finish I'll be in my early to mid 30's. I too worry about agism but all of this worrying has gotten me anywhere so it needs to stop. What was your last job? and what was your degree in? It's pretty tough out there but keep trying.



dismiss said:


> I'm 39, & don't have a "career".
> I do have a job, though. Which is more than many can say. Through all the changes in the economy... I have always held some sort of job.
> & I'm only rockin' a GED.
> A ton of life experience now... But who gives a sh*t when all you have is a good enough diploma.
> The thought of taking on more debt, so I can lose what free time I have left, for training with no guarantees...
> Meh, like I said, I've always had a job.
> I hope that makes _somebody_ feel better. 'Cause it isn't doin' anything for me. :teeth


All my life all I had were just jobs no career. On the bright side at least it's a job and it's covering some gaps in resumes. What industry do you work in if you don't mind me asking? Are you making enough to support yourself or do you have family's help? I'm running out of time myself as I'm approaching 30 still a few years left. As a kid I never realized how fast time flew.


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## ravens

I've had 1 job my whole life which was as a brick laborer. Now I don't have a job. You can't make much money in a job like that.


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## BriFri

AceRimmer said:


> I'm rapidly approaching 40 and a career is a long lost dream nowadays. Unemployed for almost 3 years, I'd settle for a job flipping burgers but I can't even land those. My degrees are absolutely useless. I thought about going back for a comp sci degree but the IT/CS sector is even more ageist than the financial sector. As I mentioned before, I'm just screwed at this point.


http://management.fortune.cnn.com/2011/12/27/10-hot-careers-for-2012-and-beyond/

But information technology is in such high demand! It's okay to try for a second career at 40. Why do you believe IT is ageist?


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## BriFri

komorikun said:


> I will be getting my BS in accounting next year at age 36. Let's hope I find a job.


Accounting is one field that is always in high demand.


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## hellocalifornia

i'm a 34 year college student who hates himself and doesn't know where time went....


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## mzmz

*Wow.*

Reading all of your stories and thinking of my own, it brings two things to mind. #1 so many of you were not prepared for life...our parents did not raise us to live properly. #2 Our stories are so similar, How do people not know what SA is??? How is it after struggling in school and work there is nothing out there to catch us? And how many out there have SA and just believe as I did recently, they are just "wrong" or "less then", not knowing why, no coping skills. It makes me MAD. Things are really really hard, we are nice, thoughtful people who deserve good jobs and understanding. but SA isnt a "hot" enough diagnose, so people are reluctant to even think about it, much less start a PSA.

Well, at least this site is here, I only hope tons more people find it like I did, thank goodness it IS here, at least we have each other.


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## Inspiron

hellocalifornia said:


> i'm a 34 year college student who hates himself and doesn't know where time went....


What is your major? I majored in liberal arts who was a waste of time and money for me at least. I'm at a CC right now just trying to figure out what i want to do before possibly heading back to the university. How are you supporting yourself? What did you do throughout your 20's? I think you've got some time left to make good of your life just keep pushing.



komorikun said:


> I will be getting my BS in accounting next year at age 36. Let's hope I find a job.


That sounds great. I'm from california too and it's pretty tough here, however there is still hope. What did you do throughout your 20's? Did you get any internships? I'll probably be heading back to the university next year.


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## komorikun

Inspiron said:


> That sounds great. I'm from california too and it's pretty tough here, however there is still hope. What did you do throughout your 20's? Did you get any internships? I'll probably be heading back to the university next year.


I was in Japan from age 20-28 and in South America from age 29-33. I taught English in both places but did more bar hostessing in Japan. I came back to the US 3 years ago. Did 2 years of city college age 18-20, 1 year at age 28, and 1 year (only part-time) when I came back before transferring to the 4-year uni.

I probably should have finished the degree before going to Japan but I was impatient at the time, bored with my life, and my dad kept threatening to cut me off financially. And I stayed too long in Japan. Oh well....such is life....it happens while you are still planning it.

Haven't done any internships yet. I probably should get on that or else I'll volunteer just to put something on the resume. My GPA is pretty good though.

Yeah, California's economy is not the best but most of the US is the same. I don't really want to move to Texas even though I hear it's better there.

http://www.bls.gov/web/metro/laulrgma.htm


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## Inspiron

komorikun said:


> I was in Japan from age 20-28 and in South America from age 29-33. I taught English in both places but did more bar hostessing in Japan. I came back to the US 3 years ago. Did 2 years of city college age 18-20, 1 year at age 28, and 1 year (only part-time) when I came back before transferring to the 4-year uni.
> 
> I probably should have finished the degree before going to Japan but I was impatient at the time, bored with my life, and my dad kept threatening to cut me off financially. And I stayed too long in Japan. Oh well....such is life....it happens while you are still planning it.
> 
> Haven't done any internships yet. I probably should get on that or else I'll volunteer just to put something on the resume. My GPA is pretty good though.
> 
> Yeah, California's economy is not the best but most of the US is the same. I don't really want to move to Texas even though I hear it's better there.
> 
> http://www.bls.gov/web/metro/laulrgma.htm


If your willing to relocate it might be better in different parts of the country. I don't have the best work history so it would be filled with gaps if I decide to go to university. How are you supporting yourself?


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## komorikun

Inspiron said:


> If your willing to relocate it might be better in different parts of the country. I don't have the best work history so it would be filled with gaps if I decide to go to university. How are you supporting yourself?


Student financial aid and student loans.


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## Carlo

Feels nice to know that I am not the only one worried about this. In a couple weeks I will be 29-years old, though I feel much younger. Feel as if I have been sleeping thru my younger years. Did poorly in high school because of anxiety, a lot of family problems and ended up dropping out in Grade 12. 10-years later I went back to adult high school and finished my final 12 credits in a few months, winning an award for high performance. Less then a year later, got into a College Electrical program (pre apprentichip kind of stuff) but ended up dropping out and moving to Saskatchewan. Not sure if I made the right decision but felt the course is useless.

Came to one of the hottest "boom towns" in Canada to pursue a new career in the oil and gas. Managed to find a crappy room rental (albeit for $800) in somebody's house, got verbally hired as an entry level oilfield worker with a small oilfield construction company, and from now and until then I will be doing delivery's for a restaurant (just got hired today).

Hoping to use the proceeds to get some special licenses... really hope to start something in the energy sector. Feel at my age (and I have nightmares about this periodically) that if I don't act now it will be too late. I feel like a fool, an idiot, and I am embarrassed to tell people the truth about my life.

I always think what if I fail. I have contemplated suicide, though I don't think I could ever carry it out. Could have been married to a couple beautiful girl's (they don't even know my real past life w/ anxiety) but I don't have a career and I feel they wouldn't accept me if they knew... so I have always avoided intimate relations for that reason.

Anyways, we got to focus on improving ourselves and overcoming our obstacles.

Enjoyed reading this thread, and hope to stick around....

Thanks


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## Nick9075

zork2001 said:


> If you are interested in IT I would talk to an Air Force Recruiter as a Reserve or Guard for a position in the IT field; you still have time. They pay you go to go to school, they get you a security clearance, and I believe now they even train and pay for the test to get a certification in your field. When you get back home a lot of the time your base will put you on a few months orders or even longer and you can get hands on job experience. After that point your resume will show you have a degree, certs, clearance, job experience you can pretty much go anywhere from there. I was in your shoes when I was like 25 best decision I made.


You know I was interested in something like this but I found out that they won't accept anyone over 35 or with bad credit (have multiple credit card chargeoffs from 2009 & 2010 that are over $5,000).. This really pisses me off that the media & everyone is concerned about 20 somethings but those of us who are on the other side of 35 can just drop dead.


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## Anoeth

32, a degree and a diploma, and no career. I didn't feel like going into my field after university, and ended up taking care of my grandparents. Grandma died, became paid daytime caregiver for my grandfather while his son worked.

Met an amazing guy, went back to school, was living as common law spouses. It rocked. Had no career still but got a great paid co-op during college and summers. Graduated and did some side job just as husband got cancer. He died and I'm living off nothing now, no aspirations and its been a cpl years now, so big employment gap. Didn't work long enough to get govt assistance.

Despise the thought of working, hate the idea of dating the unreasonable annoying guys who hit on me. They're either controlling weirdos or infant men that can't do simple tasks and want a new mom. Yuck. Getting panic attacks now too which is lovely.

Anyway, no clue what I want to do. I forget/am bad at the degree I got 10 yrs ago. Diploma field was horribly boring and I hated it. Can't go back to school a third time. No desire to marry a 90 yr old for money.

Just kinda rotting, applying for low level jobs I'm overqualified for on paper, but really I have no experience. Leaving out my school makes me look like a psycho with even more job gaps.

Sorry for the long rant. Can't sleep


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## komorikun

Anoeth said:


> 32, a degree and a diploma, and no career. I didn't feel like going into my field after university, and ended up taking care of my grandparents. Grandma died, became paid daytime caregiver for my grandfather while his son worked.
> 
> Met an amazing guy, went back to school, was living as common law spouses. It rocked. Had no career still but got a great paid co-op during college and summers. Graduated and did some side job just as husband got cancer. He died and I'm living off nothing now, no aspirations and its been a cpl years now, so big employment gap. Didn't work long enough to get govt assistance.
> 
> Despise the thought of working, hate the idea of dating the unreasonable annoying guys who hit on me. They're either controlling weirdos or infant men that can't do simple tasks and want a new mom. Yuck. Getting panic attacks now too which is lovely.
> 
> Anyway, no clue what I want to do. I forget/am bad at the degree I got 10 yrs ago. Diploma field was horribly boring and I hated it. Can't go back to school a third time. No desire to marry a 90 yr old for money.
> 
> Just kinda rotting, applying for low level jobs I'm overqualified for on paper, but really I have no experience. Leaving out my school makes me look like a psycho with even more job gaps.
> 
> Sorry for the long rant. Can't sleep


Just kind of curious. I hope you don't mind me asking. How long ago was it that your husband died? How old was he at the time? What kind of cancer did he have?


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## Nick9075

Well I registered for the journeyman electrician program consisting of 4 courses starting this summer however as I said before having no experience, no contacts and not being from here (the Boston area) will make it impossible to find any employment. Even my father said you need to either be Irish or have connections to get a job in those fields (trades) and it is for someone with just a GED or who just got out of prison.


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## Nick9075

rubyruby said:


> A lot of people never know what they want to be when they grow up even when they are old.
> 
> Keep you job but have other activities that interest you. Maybe these interests can bring in a 2nd income.
> 
> Get a 2nd job.
> 
> All the news reports say they need trades people. They are looking for trades people from other countries and are allowing them to immigrate.


Did you read what I posted? I am 38 and in great shape but mark my words i won't be able to find a position in the field due to having no experience when kids out o f high school are getting all of the entry level positions and getting licensed.

Of course politicians want to increase taxes to pay for education because allegedly someoneccannot be retrained for such fields so we have to invest in high school aged kids by raising taxes and bringing in even more people from offshore


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## ilsr

Don't have a career either. Got unemployed over a year ago. IT gave me a lot of stress and it seems a lot more social skill required to bs than it seemed initially. I never got my foot in any door for coding which I went to school for. Looking into an aviation mechanic school. Worried about getting into more debt with the expensive program. Worried that I will have problems in the classes to begin with i.e. not fitting in even though I love airplanes.


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## ilsr

M0rbid said:


> Career? How about a decent job? Do they even exist nowadays? LOL I agree with AceRimmer, degrees are absolutely useless.


that's true in this day and age. It seems the corporations just want cheap yet talented labor even if it's offshore or immigrants.

I was watching Kudlow on CNBC earlier today. Norquist and Kudlow wanted more immigrants, skilled and such. Kudlow really just wants the GOP to get more immigrant votes imo to win elections. Ann Coulter rightly said low class immigrants from other countries will take up government programs and resources as citizens are already forced to make use of expanded food stamps, ssi disability and other programs to survive.

The jobs are saturated. And the jobs are gone. The corporations , still at record profits amazingly, are global. They don't need all American citizens in their workforce. Small businesses are disappearing edged out by franchises. The elitists in both parties don't know or don't care.


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## michijo

I never went to university and am glad. More and more I read about unions, the pipefitters union for instance, welding, and other trades. I want to work with vocational rehabilitation to learn a real man's trade, to join a union, and to hell with scam universities. The Trade workers are the real builders of society. You can educate yourself however you want. Nothing beats being a real person.

Winston Churchill and the elite can remove Mohammad Mosaddegh from Iran and create a debacle, but if you are a real person, nothing can touch you.


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## Nick9075

michijo said:


> I never went to university and am glad. More and more I read about unions, the pipefitters union for instance, welding, and other trades. I want to work with vocational rehabilitation to learn a real man's trade, to join a union, and to hell with scam universities. The Trade workers are the real builders of society. You can educate yourself however you want. Nothing beats being a real person.
> 
> Winston Churchill and the elite can remove Mohammad Mosaddegh from Iran and create a debacle, but if you are a real person, nothing can touch you.


I completely agree. I got a MS in Finance and it hasn't done anything for me. I am still $60,000 in student loan debt, all of my loans are federal non private so maybe I can get on the new student loan repayment programs (ex. 15% of income no more than 20 years of payment)

Are you in New England or England? Supposedly, the unemployed can't be considered for retraining, only kids who are graduating high school are considered serious contenders for the trades. In Massachusetts, they want to increase taxes to pay for education to 'train' 'young people' for all these supposedly "unfilled" jobs that no one who is unemployed and middle aged is qualified or can be trained for.


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## michijo

Nick9075 said:


> I completely agree. I got a MS in Finance and it hasn't done anything for me. I am still $60,000 in student loan debt, all of my loans are federal non private so maybe I can get on the new student loan repayment programs (ex. 15% of income no more than 20 years of payment)
> 
> Are you in New England or England? Supposedly, the unemployed can't be considered for retraining, only kids who are graduating high school are considered serious contenders for the trades. In Massachusetts, they want to increase taxes to pay for education to 'train' 'young people' for all these supposedly "unfilled" jobs that no one who is unemployed and middle aged is qualified or can be trained for.


I live in Maine actually, New England. It's hard to say really, in a state that many people flee from, its sort of lost to time, frozen.

I feel like I was pushed into university, and chose art school, because I was most qualified as an artist, but it was too expensive and dropped out. Now, considering how many people who graduated with at least a bachelors degree are merely working entry level jobs like soup kitchen attendant, then learning a trade is much better than education at an American university.

A Union welder makes 30 dollars an hour USD. Many university graduates now work for less. I can read history myself and figure out the world. What use is university? We are all so stupid in the USA anyway.


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## meeperson

Man, I feel all of you. Everyone here is literate and urbane, and it is absurd that so many of us are reduced to remedial work just to survive (for those of us able to find such work). I have always been a drifter myself, in terms of interests. Luckily, I have some things lined up for myself, and at 29 I'm finally starting to overcome all the anxiety, self-sabotaging fear of closed doors and bad choices, but I've definitely had my share of wasted time and indecision. I'm still terribly indecisive, and still worried about all the ships that are sailing away without me, because it's just so hard to throw myself onto one boat and stay on for any length of time. Reading others' stories here is a stark lesson in what can go wrong for me if I don't poor myself into a career ASAP. My heart goes out to all of you, and I suggest everyone maybe look into anxiety support meetups if they feel up to it. It could be a relaxed way to meet people, to poor our hearts out to one another, and make friends and maybe even network. I'm so insulated in my mind, not fully facing the fact that I could find myself in terrible straits job-wise if I don't finally start taking the idea of a career seriously (assuming it's not too late at age 29-going-on-30). Of the four kids of my family, I am definitely the only one to have college degrees and any real shot at a career, but even for me financial security seems miles and miles away...


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## mca90guitar

im only 23 and find it crappy not having a career. I was always pressured by my parents to do good and did get great grades in school. Was on honor role just about every yr until the 11th grade when my SA kicked in hard, even then merit role.

Idk I feel like a failure and dread family gatherings. Right now im considering going back to CC to get a few courses out of the way so i can transfer into an engineering program or go to trade school. Seems to be the only degrees that still have jobs unless you can afford to go to an IVY league school. Will see what happens


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## mca90guitar

michijo said:


> I live in Maine actually, New England. It's hard to say really, in a state that many people flee from, its sort of lost to time, frozen.
> 
> I feel like I was pushed into university, and chose art school, because I was most qualified as an artist, but it was too expensive and dropped out. Now, considering how many people who graduated with at least a bachelors degree are merely working entry level jobs like soup kitchen attendant, then learning a trade is much better than education at an American university.
> 
> A Union welder makes 30 dollars an hour USD. Many university graduates now work for less. I can read history myself and figure out the world. What use is university? We are all so stupid in the USA anyway.


It does suck, trades do seem to be the way to go unless you can get an engineering degree. petro engineers start at around $100k right out of school and most of the new mech engineers at my moms work are coming in a around $70k. Over head linemen for certain areas can come close to that though.

That being said I have met alot of electricians and welders that are not making good money. Alot of people go for those union jobs and they only grab like 6 new people a year. My brother just had an interview with the plumbing union and thats what they said. He does have a few other offers though. The one guy said he would pay $15/hr out of school, buy him his tools and pay for his certification and training courses. When he passes the training he gets a raise and more tools.


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## mca90guitar

komorikun said:


> I was in Japan from age 20-28 and in South America from age 29-33. I taught English in both places but did more bar hostessing in Japan. I came back to the US 3 years ago. Did 2 years of city college age 18-20, 1 year at age 28, and 1 year (only part-time) when I came back before transferring to the 4-year uni.
> 
> I probably should have finished the degree before going to Japan but I was impatient at the time, bored with my life, and my dad kept threatening to cut me off financially. And I stayed too long in Japan. Oh well....such is life....it happens while you are still planning it.
> 
> Haven't done any internships yet. I probably should get on that or else I'll volunteer just to put something on the resume. My GPA is pretty good though.
> 
> Yeah, California's economy is not the best but most of the US is the same. I don't really want to move to Texas even though I hear it's better there.
> 
> http://www.bls.gov/web/metro/laulrgma.htm


Texas seems to be doing great. My moms friend just got a communications job there. She is making like $120k, she said she could get my mom a job there but my mom doesnt want to move away from her family. Someone offered me $60+k more then im making I would run there on foot if i had to lol.


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## Mysteriousvirgo

I'm 35, with only a high school diploma (no degree of any kind) and have only worked a sporadic stream of low-wage jobs but now I'm trying to get a CDL to get into trucking. Not sure what I'll do if it doesn't work out, though. I feel like it's kind of my last hope. I'm gonna be (gulp) 36 this fall (can't believe it) and I, like many of you, feel very behind schedule for my age. Not just for never having had a career-type job, but in pretty much all areas, especially relationships, or a lack thereof. I'm currently unemployed and have less than 200 bucks to my name. Been doing odd jobs here and there for a little money but my parents are still supporting me financially for the most part.

My fear, though, is that the longer I go unemployed (it's already been a year and a half), the worse it looks to a future employer, having the huge gap on top of the employment gaps I already have. At this point I'm just going to lie about it and say I was self-employed as a handyman.


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## prettyful

the good thing is at least youve had a job before! theres some people on here who have never had one.


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## ilsr

mca90guitar said:


> It does suck, trades do seem to be the way to go unless you can get an engineering degree. petro engineers start at around $100k right out of school and most of the new mech engineers at my moms work are coming in a around $70k. Over head linemen for certain areas can come close to that though.
> 
> That being said I have met alot of electricians and welders that are not making good money. Alot of people go for those union jobs and they only grab like 6 new people a year. My brother just had an interview with the plumbing union and thats what they said. He does have a few other offers though. The one guy said he would pay $15/hr out of school, buy him his tools and pay for his certification and training courses. When he passes the training he gets a raise and more tools.


Engineering major is so tough. I gave it a go twice and finally gave it up. Barely got past computer science which is basically very dumbed down discrete math/freshman engr with no real-world coding training i.e. stuck in the unix 70's. Then I tried to go into IT with no real training which doesn't help either. Basically one needs to be a genius to be able to get a real engr job. One thinks they know math, calculus etc. Think about having to solve the "hard" problems in class and multiply that by 100, then having to do that everyday, and having remembered everything about physics etc. And know the math notation and how to solve every math problem like your handwriting. Now I'm finishing up basic accounting, and the problems (even though just arithmetic) are still confusing my dumb brain. But it's funny the young folks next to me think they're so smart. They are, but engineering field requires that boring, problem-solving work to ad-infinitum hours like 100x. i.e. spending hours not succeeding in solving a problem then moving on the next unable-to figure out problem for so many hours etc. Then hope in the "curve", you still make it out to a C or B.


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## andy0128

Almost 34 and no real career to speak of. I did a 4 year degree and then took a year out partly due to uncertainty and partly due to anxiety. I then did postgraduate studies which dragged on and on for 5 years in the end. There I also had problems and doubts about what i was doing. I was never fully behind the decision in the first place. If anything it put me off having a career in my profession and i felt demoralised and overqualified. Since then my career has not really progressed. If i had my time over again i would've probably joined the job market in 2002, rather than 2008/9. I would probably had a much better chance of finding something at that point. It's sad when i compare myself to people who graduated around the same time and have now 12 years solid work experience under their belt. It is not that i envy they are earning well, it is that they have a career in some sense, it helps them when they want to move jobs. Having years pissed away in grad school followed by a stop start job history doesn't do you many favours. Perhaps though anxiety issues and problems in my upbringing really would have made it difficult whichever choice i made.


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## ilsr

Carlo said:


> I always think what if I fail. I have contemplated suicide, though I don't think I could ever carry it out. Could have been married to a couple beautiful girl's (they don't even know my real past life w/ anxiety) but I don't have a career and I feel they wouldn't accept me if they knew... so I have always avoided intimate relations for that reason.


This is very good point. Rare truth rarely spelled out on this board. I've had pretty decent pretty girls just approach me. Mind it was just "approach". And it only happened like ... 5 times in 20 years. But really couldn't let it go past acquaintance or friend. 1) they learn I don't get along with other guys, so who wants a "coward" or an "infantilized" mind who still gets ostracized from the group since pre-school (repeated over and over)? 2) my crappy brother or other unsympathetic relatives will just say I'm a good for nothing bum, i never achieved anything I wanted to set out to do, etc. etc., with my gaps in employment. he doesn't deserve anything in life except criticism, _even_ if said relative has made strides and looks halfway decent and normal; it's still _never_ good enough etc. (really part of their lives is continuing to judge and label the outcast relative for the rest his life; pathetic) 3) other friend/later enemy or bully would just say in the end "she went for better" or some unhelpful crap.

Some non-SA guys would never care, and just go with it as far as they could but then that begs the question of those of us guys with SA and that awful conscience of not fitting in society for so long whether socially or lack of a stable work record.

Contemplating suicide or at the minimal just thinking "wish I was just gone" probably occurs a number of times for the SA guy varying from 20's 30's 40's etc. Just not really talked about i.e. "who cares, doesn't help"; unless suspicion from an interloper about said person is going to do something warranting "headline news".


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## w8ng2xale

andy0128 said:


> Almost 34 and no real career to speak of. I did a 4 year degree and then took a year out partly due to uncertainty and partly due to anxiety. I then did postgraduate studies which dragged on and on for 5 years in the end. There I also had problems and doubts about what i was doing. I was never fully behind the decision in the first place. .


I too did a 4 year degree and then took a year off. Fortunately, after that year I had to suck it up and get with the job even though I had significant doubts that I could do my job well.

What sort of degree to you have?

I am about to go to grad school in September and I am scared to hell. Its online through a very well renowned university so I feel a bit better that its not on campus but I know I am going to have to interact with a lot of people and develop more leadership skills and network. I too don't know if I am cut out for this.

Is there anything in your field of interest that you could apply your skills from university towards? Perhaps talking with a career councillor could help you find something that will work for you.


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## andy0128

w8ng2xale said:


> I too did a 4 year degree and then took a year off. Fortunately, after that year I had to suck it up and get with the job even though I had significant doubts that I could do my job well.
> 
> What sort of degree to you have?
> 
> I am about to go to grad school in September and I am scared to hell. Its online through a very well renowned university so I feel a bit better that its not on campus but I know I am going to have to interact with a lot of people and develop more leadership skills and network. I too don't know if I am cut out for this.
> 
> Is there anything in your field of interest that you could apply your skills from university towards? Perhaps talking with a career councillor could help you find something that will work for you.


I initially did a chemistry degree. Afterwards I was unsure of whether to pursue a different career, immediately look for a job related to my studies or do further studies. Quite a high proportion of people do doctoral studies after their degree, especially in the scientific subjects. I eventually decided to choose the latter option because i felt that an ordinary degree was becoming devalued and i wanted to take on the challenge of a research project. In a normal degree you only scratch the surface as your research is basically doing what your supervisor says.

The problem I've found with postgraduate degrees is that it is only worthwhile if you are pursuing a career in academia, teaching or a managerial position. There are very few industrial research jobs to cater for the amount of phds or masters applicants. I would advise against further study for the simple reason that you will be overqualified for a lot of jobs if you aren't confident that you will be able to do one of the above categories of jobs.

I am currently pursuing a change of career, which involves unpaid work, temporary work in the hope of having broader skills to apply for a wider range of jobs. Career councillors generally just tell you the most obvious things, which is no good if you have a reasonable amount of experience searching the job market. You have to use your own initiative in my experiences to get anywhere.


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## hypestyle

I want a change of career. I've done clerical work for the past 16 years-- along the way I went back to school here and there (evenings, weekends), and finally finished in the aftermath of a layoff. I've got a bachelor's in Communication. But I have virtually no job interview applications for all the apps I've sent out over the past 18 months since I finally finished my degree. One interview I had to do over the phone when Skype wouldn't work properly. Two others, I had to turn down the interview because the job locations were in obscure West Coast locations and I'm in the Midwest; it would have been prohibitively expensive to finesse getting there just for an interview. I'm at the verge of giving up.


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## xxx13

I don't care about career. I'm 28 and I have stable and secure job n government office that's more than enough for me. as long as I can go home on time every day, can afford to buy a car and place to live, and have enough money to go on vacation abroad at least twice a year that's good enough for me.


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## knight1985

I'm 28 myself. Gonna pass college this year.... FINALLY! well I'm gonna prepare for Civil services exams but they are the toughest exams in the country with all sorts of successful academic students taking em. I wonder what chance lil ole me has. Other than that I have no plans. It sucks when u have an overbearing family with successful people in it.


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## xxx13

knight1985 said:


> I'm 28 myself. Gonna pass college this year.... FINALLY! well I'm gonna prepare for Civil services exams but they are the toughest exams in the country with all sorts of successful academic students taking em. I wonder what chance lil ole me has. Other than that I have no plans. It sucks when u have an overbearing family with successful people in it.


are you from certain country in South East Asia? just wondering


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## lonelyb

The medical field might be your best option if you want to get out there and find a job within a year or two. I'm 30 now and pushing myself to stick out school regardless of anything that comes up at this point. I've put things of four a long time because of my social anxiety and though I am in a sense"selling"with online school I will not continue to be jobless and career less ,if that's even a word. So if you can handle a classroom setting I strongly advise you going into the medical field. As for being the only person without a job at 30 or almost 30,type not alone. I've had to Settle in a job that isn't what I or hardly anyone else for that matter considers a real job so it doesn't count that's why im teeing to get this career thing going. Giving yourself a goal is always great.


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## livingdead29

Count me in.


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## WillYouStopDave

I call it a cacarear.


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## M0rbid

lonelyb said:


> The medical field might be your best option if you want to get out there and find a job within a year or two. I'm 30 now and pushing myself to stick out school regardless of anything that comes up at this point. I've put things of four a long time because of my social anxiety and though I am in a sense"selling"with online school I will not continue to be jobless and career less ,if that's even a word. So if you can handle a classroom setting I strongly advise you going into the medical field. As for being the only person without a job at 30 or almost 30,type not alone. I've had to Settle in a job that isn't what I or hardly anyone else for that matter considers a real job so it doesn't count that's why im teeing to get this career thing going. Giving yourself a goal is always great.


Medical school is so goddam competitive, ive known too many hard working ppl that dropped out.... It sort of unrealistic goal to reach.


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## BeNice

At this point in my life I have more money than I have ever had, and it just keeps growing. It's not very much at all compared to other people 31-32, but then I do have more than probably anyone that I hang out with. I've basically inherited, at least temporarily, my part-time cleaning gig jobs all to myself, in addition to having other work piling up. I can do anything I want, but it's hard to make myself do anything. I can't travel the country alone, start a band alone, I don't _want_ to go on a bike tour alone. It's hard to do a lot of things in life without forming social bonds with people in real life.


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## Brisby

I have a job that I like but not a true "career." I feel like I would have to really know what I want to do forever for me to pursue that dream and I get bored so easily. I do want to move on and get better pay at other jobs but I feel like struggling to form a career would be suffocating.


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## zonebox

Yep.. life is good, without a career 

I work, I just don't have many responsibilities to people who are not my family. I find that to be pretty rewarding in of itself. I would rather not have a career, it is just not something that has ever interested me.


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## BJam

Inspiron said:


> I'm considering going into IT/CS with a degree but the only thing is I'm in my late 20's so by the time I finish I'll be in my early to mid 30's. I too worry about agism but all of this worrying has gotten me anywhere so it needs to stop.


I graduated recently with a degree in CS and I'm turning 29 soon. I'm currently working as a software developer. I didn't face any agism; employers can't ask how old you are(at least around here), and most developers are fairly good-intentioned nerds, haven't met any who discriminate in any way. It is a tough degree if you aren't somewhat math-oriented, though hard-work can sometimes overcome that.


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