# Looking for real friends



## MidnightTulip (Jul 21, 2015)

Hello everyone, I have never really asked for friends like this before. I have tried to connect with old school friends that I was once close to, but we just don't click anymore and it is hard for me to open up to people at work or old friends now. I recently found out that I have social anxiety and depression and I just want a friend that I can truly be myself with and that I can talk to without being judged or not understood. 

I am 23 year old female from the United States. I absolutely love reading. It has always been a form of escape for me. The same with movies and tv shows also. I love all genres. My favorite tv shows include Doctor Who, Supernatural, Once Upon a Time, and the Walking Dead to name a few, but the list of shows I watch is much longer. Art and Photography calm me down also. I love nature, since I live in the country. 

I have a hard time reaching out to people to make friends. It actually took me a long time to write this message and I am sure I will overthink it. It may be hard for me to talk, but once I get to know someone it is hard to shut me up. I am looking for a real friend, so if you are interested feel free to contact me. If not I am at least glad I had the courage to finally ask. Thank you!


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## JustALonelyHeart (Nov 20, 2015)

I admire people who still believe in real friendships, truly.That's a brave-and so very dangerous-thing to believe in.There are so many people who are only looking to take advantage of each other...Many will only stay as long as they have a personal interest to achieve.After that, they're gone.
With that being said, I do hope you find that real friend you're looking for.
P.S.: I also enjoy Doctor Who, Once Upon a Time, photography and nature


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## MidnightTulip (Jul 21, 2015)

Thank you and real friendship is really hard to come by and I know it may take some time to find one or I may not ever find one. But I thought I may as well give it a try, or I would end up regretting not even trying. I am so used to only talking to my "friends" since I have known since elementary school once a yet and I am tired of trying and of always being the one to have to contact them. As sad as it may be, I am looking for someone who would notice if I was even gone or even remembers how to spell my name correctly.


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## JustALonelyHeart (Nov 20, 2015)

Why are you still "friends" with those people?I know, I know...Such "friends" may feel like you're less lonely but being by yourself is actually healthier for the mind and spirit than being surrounded by people who won't even notice if you're gone.


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

Hi, welcome to SAS.

real friends is a hard find, just like honesty, and it is not a new thing, sometimes ones feels like Diogenes, right ?.
You will find some really cool (and good) people here, but don't get confused ... this is much like the "real world", there is people and people.

On a side note, can supernatural be any longer ? It should have ended 5 seasons ago.


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## imprettybadatmakinguserna (Apr 11, 2016)

I'm in the same boat, so to speak. I feel like I always have to be the one to ask to spend time together or my "friends" would just go months without even a text. It's exhausting and humiliating. I feel like friendship didn't used to be this hard...


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## MidnightTulip (Jul 21, 2015)

I completely understand what you mean. In my head though, I still remember how close we once were and all the sleepovers. They are a big part of my childhood, they made me feel normal for a little while. But then I started to realize that they didn't even know I was there. We have history, even if they can't seem to remember me being there. I have begun to realize that I don't need them in my life anymore. I told one of my friends who posted that she has social anxiety all over facebook, that I thought that is what I have and I told her why I thought that and I figured she would be a friend I can talk to and share how I feel with, but she told me that I just need to go see a therapist. I haven't reached out to her after that. I will miss them still, but I guess we were just closer in my head than in real life if they can throw away years worth of friendship away.


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## MidnightTulip (Jul 21, 2015)

imprettybadatmakinguserna said:


> I'm in the same boat, so to speak. I feel like I always have to be the one to ask to spend time together or my "friends" would just go months without even a text. It's exhausting and humiliating. I feel like friendship didn't used to be this hard...


I agree with you, it is like since social media sites came out, it has actually made friendships harder. I even doubt family members would remember my birthday if it wasn't for Facebook reminding them


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## MidnightTulip (Jul 21, 2015)

sajs said:


> Hi, welcome to SAS.
> 
> real friends is a hard find, just like honesty, and it is not a new thing, sometimes ones feels like Diogenes, right ?.
> You will find some really cool (and good) people here, but don't get confused ... this is much like the "real world", there is people and people.
> ...


Thank you! And supernatural is getting pretty long, but I still like it. I am curious about how they will finally end it or when they will end it. Every season fills like the end lately.


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## imprettybadatmakinguserna (Apr 11, 2016)

Yeah, over the past few years I've sort of let all my friends go as well, or maybe it's the other way around. Either way letting all your friends go leaves you feeling lonely I guess. Which is hard to fix when you always feel you want to be alone, or have a hard time contacting people first, like I do. Not to mention that fear that everyone secretly hates you and just deals with you because they're too nice to tell you to leave, haha.


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## MidnightTulip (Jul 21, 2015)

imprettybadatmakinguserna said:


> Yeah, over the past few years I've sort of let all my friends go as well, or maybe it's the other way around. Either way letting all your friends go leaves you feeling lonely I guess. Which is hard to fix when you always feel you want to be alone, or have a hard time contacting people first, like I do. Not to mention that fear that everyone secretly hates you and just deals with you because they're too nice to tell you to leave, haha.


I just wish they wanted to contact me first. I also fear that everyone secretly hates me. The same friend who told me to talk to a therapist told me that our old close friend who neither of us talk to anymore said that she thought I was a loser. This was back in middle school, so that just made my fear become even worse. It is like do they all think I am a quiet loser now? Is that why no one contacts me. It makes me question a lot of my friendships.


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

MidnightTulip said:


> Thank you! And supernatural is getting pretty long, but I still like it. I am curious about how they will finally end it or when they will end it. Every season fills like the end lately.


I liked the "monster of the day" from back in the day. Although I really like the characters of Castiel and Crowley, they are interpreted really well.
From season 7 it got so "I love you Sam, I love you Dean (cries)" too girly (I know, you are a girl).
I wonder if God will appear, he has to, right ? I also wonder about Chuck and that kid who made things happen by drawing, remember?


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## imprettybadatmakinguserna (Apr 11, 2016)

MidnightTulip said:


> I just wish they wanted to contact me first. I also fear that everyone secretly hates me. The same friend who told me to talk to a therapist told me that our old close friend who neither of us talk to anymore said that she thought I was a loser. This was back in middle school, so that just made my fear become even worse. It is like do they all think I am a quiet loser now? Is that why no one contacts me. It makes me question a lot of my friendships.


Yeah, I've always had self esteem issues myself. It's probably negatively impacted all my relationships, but not much to do about it now. Besides I recently had to reset my phone and lost all my numbers. Combined with the fact that I still don't have a Facebook that pretty much means a lot of people are dead to me now... Guess it's time for new friends, right?


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## MidnightTulip (Jul 21, 2015)

sajs said:


> I liked the "monster of the day" from back in the day. Although I really like the characters of Castiel and Crowley, they are interpreted really well.
> From season 7 it got so "I love you Sam, I love you Dean (cries)" too girly (I know, you are a girl).
> I wonder if God will appear, he has to, right ? I also wonder about Chuck and that kid who made things happen by drawing, remember?


I like them also, I think they bring a lot to the show in terms of personality too. And it did get a little girly, they had a lot of chances to end all the fighting but instead choose to save each other. In a way I can understand since they are the only family they have, but still. I hope God would appear, I would be upset if they have all these seasons of talking about him and he never shows. And Chuck, I think the last we saw of him was at the play the girls performed. And I do remember the little boy. I feel like the shows give a lot of unanswered questions.


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## MidnightTulip (Jul 21, 2015)

imprettybadatmakinguserna said:


> Yeah, I've always had self esteem issues myself. It's probably negatively impacted all my relationships, but not much to do about it now. Besides I recently had to reset my phone and lost all my numbers. Combined with the fact that I still don't have a Facebook that pretty much means a lot of people are dead to me now... Guess it's time for new friends, right?


When I got a new phone, I didn't even bother putting their numbers in. I sent my new number to them through Facebook and if they wanted to contact me they can. And Facebook can be pretty scary too, I don't like going on there and adding friends I knew from school. I am always afraid that they will decline when I know I shouldn't even care about what they think. I personally think it is time to make new friends, people who actually care.


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## imprettybadatmakinguserna (Apr 11, 2016)

MidnightTulip said:


> When I got a new phone, I didn't even bother putting their numbers in. I sent my new number to them through Facebook and if they wanted to contact me they can. And Facebook can be pretty scary too, I don't like going on there and adding friends I knew from school. I am always afraid that they will decline when I know I shouldn't even care about what they think. I personally think it is time to make new friends, people who actually care.


Facebook is sort of scary. Also it felt so fake. People with thousands of friends? I think the quality of a friend is more important. Plus when I did have one I _did_ feel way to caught up in the small stuff like people declining requests! It's like setting yourself up for a very personal type of disappointment...

On a happier note, you said you liked Once Upon a Time? My brother has been asking me to watch that, but he never told me what it was about. I know it has all the Disney characters, right?


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## MidnightTulip (Jul 21, 2015)

Facebook is disappointing, I mainly go on there for family. I never post anything myself, always scared no one will care. 

And I love Once Upon a Time and it does have all the Disney characters. Each season brings. Ew characters and villains.


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## 629753 (Apr 7, 2015)

Ral friends

how many of us

how mani of us

real ends

switch up t number

i cant b bother

ral friends


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## imprettybadatmakinguserna (Apr 11, 2016)

I don't have a very big family so thankfully Facebook isn't necessary. 

My brother warned me that it could be a little cheesy at times but I can enjoy that! Maybe I'll watch what Netflix has. Do you have any favorite books or series of books?


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

MidnightTulip said:


> I like them also, I think they bring a lot to the show in terms of personality too. And it did get a little girly, they had a lot of chances to end all the fighting but instead choose to save each other. In a way I can understand since they are the only family they have, but still. I hope God would appear, I would be upset if they have all these seasons of talking about him and he never shows. And Chuck, I think the last we saw of him was at the play the girls performed. And I do remember the little boy. I feel like the shows give a lot of unanswered questions.


Any really good show you can recommend? I see them all the time but none is THAT good.
I liked The Following but it had 2 seasons only. Falling Skies besides being a Spielberg production wasn't that great and the ending was plain HORRIBLE.

So, what's your name ? You didn't mention it but you said something about its spelling.


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## MidnightTulip (Jul 21, 2015)

imprettybadatmakinguserna said:


> I don't have a very big family so thankfully Facebook isn't necessary.
> 
> My brother warned me that it could be a little cheesy at times but I can enjoy that! Maybe I'll watch what Netflix has. Do you have any favorite books or series of books?


It can be cheesy, but I like cheesy at times, which a lot of my family does not understand. I love all genres of books, but my favorite is Harry Potter. I like Young Adult, Romance, and even some of the classics. I enjoy reading the Grimm Brothers Fairy Tales. I love fairy tales, the happy and the dark themes, which is why I enjoy Once Upon a time. What about you?


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## MidnightTulip (Jul 21, 2015)

sajs said:


> Any really good show you can recommend? I see them all the time but none is THAT good.
> I liked The Following but it had 2 seasons only. Falling Skies besides being a Spielberg production wasn't that great and the ending was plain HORRIBLE.
> 
> So, what's your name ? You didn't mention it but you said something about its spelling.


I really enjoy Doctor Who, although I will admit it is really cheesy, especially the first few episodes and it is hard for people to get past though. But the show really did draw me in. I also like Orphan Black, the actress is one of the better ones I have watched in a long time and she really gets into her characters that you can easily tell which clone she is acting as. I like Revolution also, although that ended with a cliffhanger and they are not going to make anymore. But if you cut off the last 5 minutes of the end, it is almost like there was no cliffhanger and a real series finale and not season finale.

I liked the Following also, but I think there is 3 seasons though. I have not seen Falling Skies. Do you watch tv a lot? Would there be any that you would recommend?

My name is Amanda, but my nickname was Mandie. They would always spell is Mandy. It is a common mistake, but the thing that bothered me was that my whole group of friends we all ended our names with an ie and not a y, but it is like they could never remember mine. And they would always complain about how others messed up their names in class.


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## imprettybadatmakinguserna (Apr 11, 2016)

MidnightTulip said:


> It can be cheesy, but I like cheesy at times, which a lot of my family does not understand. I love all genres of books, but my favorite is Harry Potter. I like Young Adult, Romance, and even some of the classics. I enjoy reading the Grimm Brothers Fairy Tales. I love fairy tales, the happy and the dark themes, which is why I enjoy Once Upon a time. What about you?


Sometimes cheesy is just what you need to cheer up! I have first edition Harry Potters! Are you excited about the new movie? I do have sort of an embarrassing love for young adult books myself. I liked the Midnighters series a lot. I have a lot of books on Greek and other old cultural myths and fairy tales as well. But I also like reading about history and stuff. Kind of boring I suppose. I also very much like high fantasy. Lately I've been reading some classics though. I'm about to read The Once and Future King. Is there any book you're currently reading?


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## MidnightTulip (Jul 21, 2015)

imprettybadatmakinguserna said:


> Sometimes cheesy is just what you need to cheer up! I have first edition Harry Potters! Are you excited about the new movie? I do have sort of an embarrassing love for young adult books myself. I liked the Midnighters series a lot. I have a lot of books on Greek and other old cultural myths and fairy tales as well. But I also like reading about history and stuff. Kind of boring I suppose. I also very much like high fantasy. Lately I've been reading some classics though. I'm about to read The Once and Future King. Is there any book you're currently reading?


I am very excited about the new movie and the new book. I really want to go to Universal Studios and Wizarding world of Harry Potter, I am saving up to go there now. I love mythology books, I have this huge book with different cultures mythology. I do not think history is boring at all. I took an anthropology class in college and I almost changed my entire major because I enjoyed it so much. I love learning about different cultures histories and beliefs.

I enjoy fantasy books also, I have a whole bookcase for just fantasy . I just finished the Crossfire novels and started to read a book called Red Queen. I have not heard of the Midnighter series, I will have to look into that.


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## imprettybadatmakinguserna (Apr 11, 2016)

MidnightTulip said:


> I am very excited about the new movie and the new book. I really want to go to Universal Studios and Wizarding world of Harry Potter, I am saving up to go there now. I love mythology books, I have this huge book with different cultures mythology. I do not think history is boring at all. I took an anthropology class in college and I almost changed my entire major because I enjoyed it so much. I love learning about different cultures histories and beliefs.
> 
> I enjoy fantasy books also, I have a whole bookcase for just fantasy . I just finished the Crossfire novels and started to read a book called Red Queen. I have not heard of the Midnighter series, I will have to look into that.


It was written by the man Who wrote the Uglies series. I've heard of the Crossfire novels I think but I admit I don't remember anything but their name... My mom got to go! She got my brother one of those universal wand tv remotes and its super cool. We also have this Renaissance Festival close to where I live and a man there mades wooden wands that look exactly like the ones in the movies! He even puts little hidden compartments in the for things like "phoenix feathers" or "unicorn hair." I love anthropology! If I could have completed my education I would have loved to get a PHD in it. School just doesn't work very well with me though. If you don't mind my asking, what did you major in?


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

MidnightTulip said:


> I really enjoy Doctor Who, although I will admit it is really cheesy, especially the first few episodes and it is hard for people to get past though. But the show really did draw me in. I also like Orphan Black, the actress is one of the better ones I have watched in a long time and she really gets into her characters that you can easily tell which clone she is acting as. I like Revolution also, although that ended with a cliffhanger and they are not going to make anymore. But if you cut off the last 5 minutes of the end, it is almost like there was no cliffhanger and a real series finale and not season finale.
> 
> I liked the Following also, but I think there is 3 seasons though. I have not seen Falling Skies. Do you watch tv a lot? Would there be any that you would recommend?
> 
> My name is Amanda, but my nickname was Mandie. They would always spell is Mandy. It is a common mistake, but the thing that bothered me was that my whole group of friends we all ended our names with an ie and not a y, but it is like they could never remember mine. And they would always complain about how others messed up their names in class.


I guess I will have to check out Doctor Who.

Mmm, maybe 3 seasons yes, I don't actually remember. The finale was Ryan surviving the fall to the river.

I don't watch tv a lot, because I follow the tv shows online. I will have to wait more to watch them via cable, on the internet it gets uploaded when it comes out in the us and the next day you have the subtitled version available.

I don't think I can recommend any of the ones I am watching right now: Limitless, Blindspot and Forever.
Blindspot is not THAT bad, but I don't think how they would make the plot for the "predicting the future" thing, to me the possibilities are : being lame, being "science fiction" or being something I haven't thought of and super awesome.
I guess I will have to wait for them to reveal that to see how good it was.

Well, if you change your nickname to Mandy they wouldn't say it wrong haha. Why is Mandie and not Mandy ? is it because Mandy is a name on its own ?.

I see you registered back on Jul 2015, yet you were not very active. There was some reason ? You did not like it, you overcame what was troubling you at the time and did not come back until now, or something ?


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## MidnightTulip (Jul 21, 2015)

sajs said:


> I guess I will have to check out Doctor Who.
> 
> Mmm, maybe 3 seasons yes, I don't actually remember. The finale was Ryan surviving the fall to the river.
> 
> ...


I will have to look into those shows. I usually watch shows on Hulu or Netflix while running on a treadmill, to make it feel like I am not actually exercising. Or when I just want to be lazy and away from people.

I actually tried to change my name to Mandy in early school. My parent's named me Amanda and gave me the nickname of Mandie. Everyone could not understand the concept of adding an ie and not a y. I tried to change my name on an assignment I turned in to Mandy. If no one could spell it right, I might as well just change it, since it was just a nickname. I got into a lot of trouble by the teacher, she even took points away from the paper. I honestly do not understand why, I just don't think the teacher liked me, because a boy student did the same thing the day before and gave me the idea and when I brought it up to her, she said that was different. Once I left that school and went to the next one, I just never told the new teachers my nickname at all and had them call me Amanda. Now only really close family and friends call me Mandie, less than 10 people now.

I do like this site, it is nice to talk even a little bit, but it is very hard to make that first step. Recently I finally had one of my old friends reach out to me and I got so excited that she finally contacted me first and she wanted to meet up. Turns out that she just switched majors, one that I graduated in, and wanted to ask about the classes and see if I had any of my old work and papers. She just wanted to use me, that is the only reason why they contact me. It was an eye opener and I wanted a friend that wants to talk to me because they like me and not just what I can give them. It is just hard for me to find those friends because I shut down and panic. I came back on this site because I want to get better to a point where I can have a real friend and not have that anxiety and worry that they will leave me because they don't like me because they don't understand me. If that makes any sense.


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

MidnightTulip said:


> I will have to look into those shows. I usually watch shows on Hulu or Netflix while running on a treadmill, to make it feel like I am not actually exercising. Or when I just want to be lazy and away from people.
> 
> I actually tried to change my name to Mandy in early school. My parent's named me Amanda and gave me the nickname of Mandie. Everyone could not understand the concept of adding an ie and not a y. I tried to change my name on an assignment I turned in to Mandy. If no one could spell it right, I might as well just change it, since it was just a nickname. I got into a lot of trouble by the teacher, she even took points away from the paper. I honestly do not understand why, I just don't think the teacher liked me, because a boy student did the same thing the day before and gave me the idea and when I brought it up to her, she said that was different. Once I left that school and went to the next one, I just never told the new teachers my nickname at all and had them call me Amanda. Now only really close family and friends call me Mandie, less than 10 people now.
> 
> I do like this site, it is nice to talk even a little bit, but it is very hard to make that first step. Recently I finally had one of my old friends reach out to me and I got so excited that she finally contacted me first and she wanted to meet up. Turns out that she just switched majors, one that I graduated in, and wanted to ask about the classes and see if I had any of my old work and papers. She just wanted to use me, that is the only reason why they contact me. It was an eye opener and I wanted a friend that wants to talk to me because they like me and not just what I can give them. It is just hard for me to find those friends because I shut down and panic. I came back on this site because I want to get better to a point where I can have a real friend and not have that anxiety and worry that they will leave me because they don't like me because they don't understand me. If that makes any sense.


We are poor in Argentina, Mandie, no Netflix or things like that, I am glad that last year we switched from a box with puppets to a TV.

I am kiding, don't have netflix because I watch them online so I don't see any reason for it other than to say "oh look me all, I am an upper class citizen", so I am not going to use it until I see it necessary.

I think the reason your teacher did not allowed you to do that is because you shouldn't give an assignment with a nickname on it, but your name. So you should have written "Amanda" instead of "Mandy" or "Mandie". Maybe that was the reason.

Yes it makes sense. I don't know what to tell you other than that a lot (LOT) of people are mother****ers like that.
I asked because I saw you registered a long ago but had very little activity since then, so maybe you overcame your issues back then and decided not to stay.

What did you graduated in ?


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## Andras96 (Mar 28, 2014)

Happy belated welcome to the site... by like, almost a year. I'm also feeling the same way right now with always having to start the conversation with acquaintances at college. But I might as well and not even call them "acquaintances" at this point since I know I'm nothing more than just some stranger that tries way too hard just to get noticed.


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## MidnightTulip (Jul 21, 2015)

sajs said:


> We are poor in Argentina, Mandie, no Netflix or things like that, I am glad that last year we switched from a box with puppets to a TV.
> 
> I am kiding, don't have netflix because I watch them online so I don't see any reason for it other than to say "oh look me all, I am an upper class citizen", so I am not going to use it until I see it necessary.
> 
> ...


I watch a lot of movies online, movie theaters are stupid expensive. And with the teacher, I would have thought the same thing but the boy student put his nickname that he just made up instead of his real name. I am sure I would have gotten in trouble for putting Amanda, since I said I wanted to be called Mandie. I just don't think she liked me at all, which I never understood why, I never talked. We were not allowed to talk during lunch, so while waiting in line, one of my friends and I were having a staring contest with each other to see who would blink first, since we could not talk. The teacher comes up to me and said she knew I wasn't talking but it looked like I was and gave only me detention. I think she is the one teacher who made my anxiety worse and I never understood why she treated me that way.

I still have my issues, they have gotten worse since I started a full time job. I graduated in Business Administration.


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## MidnightTulip (Jul 21, 2015)

Andras96 said:


> Happy belated welcome to the site... by like, almost a year. I'm also feeling the same way right now with always having to start the conversation with acquaintances at college. But I might as well and not even call them "acquaintances" at this point since I know I'm nothing more than just some stranger that tries way too hard just to get noticed.


Thank you and talking with people at college was the worst. It is like the only thing you have in common is you go to the same school and take the same classes.


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## Andras96 (Mar 28, 2014)

MidnightTulip said:


> Thank you and talking with people at college was the worst. It is like the only thing you have in common is you go to the same school and take the same classes.


Basically. And the worst part... half the conversations I hear are people just talking about (literally) the most random of stuff. So I don't know what exactly I'm missing at this point for socialising (some mathematical equation?...).


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## MidnightTulip (Jul 21, 2015)

Andras96 said:


> Basically. And the worst part... half the conversations I hear are people just talking about (literally) the most random of stuff. So I don't know what exactly I'm missing at this point for socialising (some mathematical equation?...).


I can understand that, people do talk about the most random stuff.


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

MidnightTulip said:


> I watch a lot of movies online, movie theaters are stupid expensive. And with the teacher, I would have thought the same thing but the boy student put his nickname that he just made up instead of his real name. I am sure I would have gotten in trouble for putting Amanda, since I said I wanted to be called Mandie. I just don't think she liked me at all, which I never understood why, I never talked. We were not allowed to talk during lunch, so while waiting in line, one of my friends and I were having a staring contest with each other to see who would blink first, since we could not talk. The teacher comes up to me and said she knew I wasn't talking but it looked like I was and gave only me detention. I think she is the one teacher who made my anxiety worse and I never understood why she treated me that way.
> 
> I still have my issues, they have gotten worse since I started a full time job. I graduated in Business Administration.


Yes, I use it for movies too. Expensive and going alone does not do much sense. I prefer deciding when I will watch something and being able to do whatever I choose while doing so (drinking coffe, smoking, watching the movie while I am doing something else, etc)

She certainly was a *****.

Cool BA, I would need your help with my imaginary company one day.


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## MidnightTulip (Jul 21, 2015)

sajs said:


> Yes, I use it for movies too. Expensive and going alone does not do much sense. I prefer deciding when I will watch something and being able to do whatever I choose while doing so (drinking coffe, smoking, watching the movie while I am doing something else, etc)
> 
> She certainly was a *****.
> 
> Cool BA, I would need your help with my imaginary company one day.


Also movie theaters are crowded with annoying people who think it is okay to talk and be on their phone.

She was very rude and those weren't even the worst that she has done to me to make my anxiety worse. Everything that she has done has made me afraid of talking in class, even when I know an answer to a question or needed help. I can not stand teachers who treat students that way. It is like if you don't like children, stay away from them.

That is why I went for a BA, I wanted to own my own book/game/movie/music store, but more of a book store. When I graduated I had a cousin who said she could get me sponsors and partners that would be willing to help put in money and my anxiety made me say no. I couldn't move that far away, away from my family and actually go through with it. Since that type of business involves being around customers and having people depend on you. Just not ready for that yet. What type of imaginary business do you want to have?


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## Andras96 (Mar 28, 2014)

MidnightTulip said:


> I can understand that, people do talk about the most random stuff.


It's not that it annoys me or anything. It's just... I already try and talk about random topics and whatnot (as well as common interests) whenever I try to start conversations with people, and yet I still can't seem to click with... anyone. So I'm just at a loss.


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## MidnightTulip (Jul 21, 2015)

Andras96 said:


> It's not that it annoys me or anything. It's just... I already try and talk about random topics and whatnot (as well as common interests) whenever I try to start conversations with people, and yet I still can't seem to click with... anyone. So I'm just at a loss.


That is one of my main problems also, it is so hard to click with people. It is like, yeah I can talk about random stuff but inside my head I am worried that they don't want to talk to me or don't find me interesting. I want an easy going conversation where the topics come easily and you know they are interested. Very hard to come by, especially as you get older.

I was friends with a girl in high school and the only thing we had in common was our classes and I was friends with a guy she liked. When we hung out around school, that is all I would talk about with her, about our classes. She just asked if that was the only thing you can talk about. It is like why do I have to be the only one who comes up with topics then.


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

MidnightTulip said:


> Also movie theaters are crowded with annoying people who think it is okay to talk and be on their phone.
> 
> She was very rude and those weren't even the worst that she has done to me to make my anxiety worse. Everything that she has done has made me afraid of talking in class, even when I know an answer to a question or needed help. I can not stand teachers who treat students that way. It is like if you don't like children, stay away from them.
> 
> That is why I went for a BA, I wanted to own my own book/game/movie/music store, but more of a book store. When I graduated I had a cousin who said she could get me sponsors and partners that would be willing to help put in money and my anxiety made me say no. I couldn't move that far away, away from my family and actually go through with it. Since that type of business involves being around customers and having people depend on you. Just not ready for that yet. What type of imaginary business do you want to have?


I don't like that attitude Missy, how "wanted" ? You will have it if you want (unless you don't anymore).

I think you are a perfectionist ? How does a bookstore requires a BA ? it is like going for a BA if you want to own a hardware store. Unless we are talking about something like a chain or a kind of company who publishes books and that stuff.
But there is nothing wrong if you did it for a bookstore, it just shows that you are perfectionist, and that's good.

Maybe only at first, but when you succeed (or can afford to) you will not have to deal with anything that you don't like, you just hire people for that.

Me, it is a internet company, have some ideas but I like the advertisement type. I can work from a home, garage or my own company building. Not to many employees, well paid of course, and exploring innovation in a lot of senses, like allowing employees to work from home if they want (I know this is not new, I am talking about the system for achieving it), and since they are a few, well paid, the only prerequisite I will have is that it should be people who loves to learn, so since I pay them well they will use some money for that and apply that to the company, while allowing them to have time for their life.

I also wanted a coffee shop with books (which in turn I will buy from your store, any discount for me?)


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## MidnightTulip (Jul 21, 2015)

sajs said:


> I don't like that attitude Missy, how "wanted" ? You will have it if you want (unless you don't anymore).
> 
> I think you are a perfectionist ? How does a bookstore requires a BA ? it is like going for a BA if you want to own a hardware store. Unless we are talking about something like a chain or a kind of company who publishes books and that stuff.
> But there is nothing wrong if you did it for a bookstore, it just shows that you are perfectionist, and that's good.
> ...


In a way I guess I am a perfectionist. I personally think I would have needed a BA in order to own my own bookstore. I learned a lot that I didn't know before. I learned how to make a business plan in order to get sponsors or a loan. I really enjoyed marketing and HR. I would want to learn as much as I could in order to be a good boss or owner. People would depend on me and I wouldn't want to let them down. And I also like getting things done myself, I don't necessarily like relying on people.

And your business that you would want does sound like a good one.Especially the ease of location for employees. I really got into advertising in school. The marketing classes were some of my favorites. And the coffee shop with books would be a good idea too. Although I could never open up my own around my home town. We only had one book store and it went out of business. I had a teacher tell me book stores were going out of business because of ebooks. I personally like to hold and own my books. I would give discounts.


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

MidnightTulip said:


> In a way I guess I am a perfectionist. I personally think I would have needed a BA in order to own my own bookstore. I learned a lot that I didn't know before. I learned how to make a business plan in order to get sponsors or a loan. I really enjoyed marketing and HR. I would want to learn as much as I could in order to be a good boss or owner. People would depend on me and I wouldn't want to let them down. And I also like getting things done myself, I don't necessarily like relying on people.
> 
> And your business that you would want does sound like a good one.Especially the ease of location for employees. I really got into advertising in school. The marketing classes were some of my favorites. And the coffee shop with books would be a good idea too. Although I could never open up my own around my home town. We only had one book store and it went out of business. I had a teacher tell me book stores were going out of business because of ebooks. I personally like to hold and own my books. I would give discounts.


Perfectionist it is !. You could have learn all of that from the internet, there are also business plans for a lot of stuff.

What do you mean by "area" ? it would be hard to believe that there is not even a bookstore in your state or something, that would be crazy.
Yes, ebook might be the reason. But I consider there is a lot of factors if I would have to guess, I would blame the little interest of people in reading and amazon, you can buy a book using your computer, paying with a creadit card and having them delivered with 1-day free shipping to your door ... who will walk to the bookstore?.

I think having no bookstores in your area is even a better reason to put that coffee shop. I mean, the books there aren't for selling or to loan them. They are just for enjoying a reading with your coffee or another beverage you order. A quiet place for reflection. Plus, a new think like that would attract people and since people like to follow trends (don't ask me why) more costumers would be attracted and you would be in the end, encouraging something great, learning.


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