# How do you open up in therapy?



## julianac13 (Jul 11, 2010)

My biggest hurdle is opening up and being honest about my feelings.. It's been a month and I still am not comfortable enough. Any tips or ideas?


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## JMonkey (Jul 29, 2011)

My mom always came in with me. I found it really awkward, but it helped. It was even more awkward the few times she didn't come with me. I find her a good source of comfort.
It also helps if you are comfortable with your worker. If you don't like them, or if they are the other gender it can be harder to talk to them. Maybe you can get a new one? Unless you're paying for it.. it's free here.
Do you two ever just chat? It can be easier to open up if first you get your mind off of the fact that you are there to open up to them.


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## julianac13 (Jul 11, 2010)

I don't know why, I really like her so that isn't the problem. Every week I tell myself things will be different but each time I just shut down.

Maybe emailing would be a good idea! I just feel like I should be able to talk in person.


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

Writing them down might be good idea. You could even practice a little before you go in.


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## RetroDoll (Jun 25, 2011)

slip one thing out that you think is really weird or off base and just watch their reaction. they probably won't have one which means they heard it all before.


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## LynnNBoys (Jul 13, 2011)

I tried therapy a couple of times in my 20s but it never seemed to work out. I couldn't open up, I would have major anxiety about not being able to think of anything to say, I tried to think of excuses why I couldn't go. I don't know if I wasn't ready to do it or if I didn't find the right therapists for me. I tried a female and male.

I tried again when I was 35. It took 2-3 sessions but I finally was able to open up. It started as a way to grieve my 2nd miscarriage which had sent me into the deepest darkest hole. I walked through 3-4 months of my life as a numb zombie before realizing I needed serious help. Once I got through the grief, he found that there was still underlying depression. That's when I got the official diagnosis.

I'm not sure what the difference was. My age/maturity or just needed the right therapist to make me feel comfortable.

I do sometimes fear that I will blank out and not think of anything to say. I have tried to write down things (which is easier for me to do) and then read it over again as I sit in the waiting room.


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## comfort (May 31, 2009)

My strategy with this is to start at the most basic level. Just tell your therapist that there are a lot of things you are afraid to share. And yes, emailing can help. Ive been going to a therapist for over a year now and I still haven't opened up about everything, though I work toward it. Also, if you can't say what something is, tell your therapist the emotion that you associate wit that thing and maybe say why you aren't willing to sy it.


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## Rbokoloo (Jul 24, 2011)

I am thinking that since the therapy is very expensive (at least where i live) i try vent out as much stuff as possible every session. I speak of what has happened to me last week etc., speak of things im comfortable of speaking, and also try to speak of things im not comfortable about. Before i go to a session i try to feel out what i've been thinking, what bothers me and what i'd like to discuss


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## sherbert (Jun 24, 2005)

Writing stuff down has often aided me. The 1st therapist that I saw had a questionnaire (the standard stuff) then more abstract essay type questions at the bottom. They were usually good jumping off points: "What was the last dream you had and do you think it had any significance? How are your relationships at home? Is there anything you would like to discuss specifically? "

It takes a while to _truly _get comfortable with a person to explore those deeper issues. I know that's frustrating cuz you go there with a purpose and leave with things unsaid, but it does take time. Start with something small and work out from there. AS has been said many times over, if they're a seasoned therapist, few things are going to bother them.


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## julianac13 (Jul 11, 2010)

Thanks for the advice everyone.. If I had to pay for my sessions I would probably be more willing to open up, but my university provides it for free, luckily. I think starting small is my best bet, I have all-or-nothing thinking so I expect myself to be able to pour everything out at once. But baby steps are better!


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