# this is my cure. not sure if this would work with any1 else



## socialbutterfly (Feb 17, 2006)

This might be a pointless post, but I'd rather some sort of advice to those who are struggling. I'm sure this has been said before.

Just stop caring. three simple words.

however, I know it's not necessarily this easy. but this has basically fixed most of my problems. Once you start talking to people, you see how easy it is. You see how the other person is not judging you, they just want to talk to.

It makes me feel so stupid, that I spent so much time with this SA crap. No one is judging you. The only time people judge you is when you let them. It's hard to explain I suppose.

I'm not saying that I'm "completely fixed". Obviously it's a long process. But if you just keep not caring, saying what you want, doing what you feel, you start to adjust to this.

Seriously,some days I just wake up and decide Im too tired to care. I really am. And I'm really too tired to care ever again.

I guess this really isn't good advice. I think something just clicks in your mind one day that you know this is ridiculous and you can't keep living like this.
I feel like I just woke up and my SA was gone.

But I know there is a difference between me and a lot of other people, because I think mainly my problem has been low self-confidence, not necessarily SA.

Anyway.. doubt this helped anyone but I just thought I'd throw it out there


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

SocialButterfly,

It is interesting advice. Njodis has a point, but the fact is, you have to keep trying if you are going to get anywhere. SA would be nice if it were beaten cold turkey, but that is not the way it goes. 
This advice has actually worked for me and it was supported by my psychiatrist.
Particularly at work, I am finding this to be true.


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## Johnny1234 (Nov 16, 2006)

I usually dont care...if you dont care what other people think of you then SA just kinda disappears


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## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

My rational side usually doesn't care, but my emotions tend to overwhelm the lack of caring I may have. Therefore, making my rational side the subordinate to my emotional side. It can really be frustrating.


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## socialbutterfly (Feb 17, 2006)

Bah I take back this original post. The more I told myself to not care today, the worse I was. Somedays it feels like my anxiety is gone but then one day (like today) it comes back for no reason. I just don't understand.

I wrote this post when I was having a good social day.


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## vincentgallo4president (May 13, 2006)

The whole "don't care what other people think" thing, is garbage advice and I'll tell you why. As much truth there is in that statement, what the core of the problem is that people with SA have no self-esteem to fall back on. Unless you are comfortable with yourself, you will have NO SHOT at overcoming SA. This is the realization I have come to.


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## jurvis1 (Nov 22, 2006)

*wow!*

:stu Some of you were pretty harsh on Social Butterfly. I think there is some truth to it. If I tell myself over and over, "who cares what they think, if they don't like you, then there not your friends", helps me to be bold. So, I think there is some truth in that reguard.


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## atroxsilentium (Jan 24, 2004)

vincentgallo4president said:


> The whole "don't care what other people think" thing, is garbage advice and I'll tell you why. As much truth there is in that statement, what the core of the problem is that people with SA have no self-esteem to fall back on. Unless you are comfortable with yourself, you will have NO SHOT at overcoming SA. This is the realization I have come to.


It's not garbage advice, but it is more in depth. See, the reason most of SA sufferers HAVE low self-esteem is because of other people. Initially we were treated badly and felt like we had no worth. That is completely understandable that we would withdraw if everyone is beating up on us. But when that's over, when we enter new life situations, we are still anxious. Why? Because our minds have come to think that EVERYONE is going to treat us the way we were treated before.. which hopefully isn't at all true.

SO, yes in a way you have to "not care what other people think".. but it's more like RATIONALIZE what people think. What we usually assume others are thinking, they're not being that critical at all. It's likely that we don't get even a second thought from most people. If you say something silly, people are at worst going to think "Wow, they said something silly", NOT what SAers think they are thinking which is probably that doomsday is on its way and that they think you're dumb and don't like you and will probably tell everyone in the world that you said something silly. It's not going to happen.

So I think that to BE comfortable with yourself and have more self-confidence/self-esteem, you do need to "not care", but what you should be ignoring is the out of control SA thoughts.. not necessarily the other people.

I mean, all of this goes hand in hand. And I can say that it truely isn't easy, and if it was, no one would be socially anxious. It is what it is. You have to challenge yourself when you feel you're being irrational.


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