# I just found out that my crush is bisexual



## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

I really don't know if I should still like him. A friend of mine told me that he saw him hooking up with other guys. I didn't believe him until he showed me a picture. I really don't know if it's a stupid reason for me to not like him anymore just because he is bi. It's because I'm straight so this is weird.


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## whatdapointyo (Mar 27, 2012)

I'm gay, does that mean you don't like me?


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## Marakunda (Jun 7, 2011)

Paloma M said:


> I really don't know if I should still like him. A friend of mine told me that he saw him hooking up with other guys. I didn't believe him until he showed me a picture. I really don't know if it's a stupid reason for me to not like him anymore just because he is bi. *It's because I'm straight so this is weird.*


What do you mean it's because your straight?

I heard this is sort of a common thing for straight girls. I don't think it should effect how you feel about him, it's not that big of a deal.


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## ShadowOnTheWall (Dec 24, 2010)

This seems a bit homophboic..


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## The Sorrow (Aug 29, 2012)

That he is bi is not bad but that he hooked up with an other man is a grave sin. This is not homophobic but just god given moral.


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## Silent Image (Dec 22, 2010)

How do you know he's not only gay?


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

Paloma M said:


> I really don't know if I should still like him. A friend of mine told me that he saw him hooking up with other guys. I didn't believe him until he showed me a picture. I really don't know if it's a stupid reason for me to not like him anymore just because he is bi. It's because I'm straight so this is weird.


why did he have a pic of your crush? lol... i dont really think thats a good reason to not like someone


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

Silent Image said:


> How do you know he's not only gay?


I know because he had a girlfriend before and because he dated another girl. He also had crushes on a lot of girls so yeah.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

illmatic1 said:


> why did he have a pic of your crush? lol... i dont really think thats a good reason to not like someone


I think it's a good reason. I don't want to like someone who hooked up with other guys. That's just weird. Now I think about it, it's strange and I definitely don't have feelings for him anymore. It's just weird how I flirted with a bisexual guy. I mean it would be cool if we were friends. I really wouldn't care but when I think of the things that he did, it just makes me feel awkward. I actually couldn't stop laughing when I found out he is bisexual. I have no idea why. I mean please don't think I am against homosexuals. I have met plenty of nice ones. It's just kind of a bummer to me that I liked this guy and I had to find out about THIS.


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## Leafmoon (Nov 20, 2012)

There is nothing wrong with being bisexual. People should be able to love who they want to without being judged.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I think you're being very judgemental. If he likes women too, then what's the problem? I think it might even be more interesting dating a bi guy, you could talk about guy's together haha.

I think it's a terrible reason not to like someone, but you can't help it just like I can't help having SA I guess. 

(you're probably going to want to ignore this post tbh, I'm in a terrible mood and I hate people who are judgemental like that, so I'm sure I'm coming across harsher than I should be...)


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

Tanya1 said:


> I think it might even be more interesting dating a bi guy, you could talk about guy's together haha.


Are you talking serious?


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## kiirby (Oct 8, 2010)

Sounds like he missed a real catch.


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

Paloma M said:


> I actually couldn't stop laughing when I found out he is bisexual.THIS.


I serious hope i don´t meet someone whit your mentality in my life .
People can be really awfull.


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## musiclover55 (Feb 7, 2011)

While there is nothing wrong with being bi, there's nothing wrong with not wanting to be with someone who is bi. It's just a preference. I don't think that means that you're judgmental and if it does, so what? Everyone is judgmental in some form.

Personally, I get turned off by the possibility that a guy I like is bisexual. I can't really explain why, I just do. I guess it goes with that "I want a masculine man" mentality that most woman have (as well as the "I want a feminine woman" that most men have).


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

I don't see how this is judgmental. She's attracted to men who like women. The thought of him having sex with other men is a turn-off for her, seems perfectly normal to me.


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## Wirt (Jan 16, 2009)

The Sorrow said:


> That he is bi is not bad but that he hooked up with an other man is a grave sin. This is not homophobic but just god given moral.


*sigh*


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

musiclover55 said:


> While there is nothing wrong with being bi, there's nothing wrong with not wanting to be with someone who is bi. It's just a preference. I don't think that means that you're judgmental and if it does, so what? Everyone is judgmental in some form.
> 
> Personally, I get turned off by the possibility that a guy I like is bisexual. I can't really explain why, I just do. I guess it goes with that "I want a masculine man" mentality that most woman have (as well as the "I want a feminine woman" that most men have).


I really dont understand this, i mean , its no prob that a person does not want to have a partner that is bi, the prob is the concept that a bi person is not a real man or women, cause for me is what i think of this issue, i mean i want to date a real women to.. not cause her sexuality but her person.

Its just sad for a guy or girl have a crush on someone , get rejected but worst being mocked .
The rejection is not the prob here , cause we select and get selected.


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## GD8 (May 7, 2011)

That's pretty ignorant lol, every girl I've ever dated has been bi and it didn't matter to me at all (nor does it matter to like ANY other guy in the world) so I really don't get why it's such a big deal to girls if a guy is bi. Serious double standard right here.


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## Thinkerbell (Jul 8, 2012)

How did OP NOT see the inevitable backlash?? 
Well I wouldn't date a bisexual or homosexual man or a woman.


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## SupaDupaFly (Sep 1, 2011)

He was bi hahaahahaha that was funny!!! /sarcasm off


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

paraboia said:


> Are you talking serious?


I did mean it somewhat half heartedly, but sure why not? If you were like discussing famous people. I'm grey-a and stuff like that would not make me jealous like it would some people on top of that, so my views on relationships and such are not the average person's I will admit...


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

Like it would not be annoying enough when he can cheat with girls, he can cheat with guys too.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

musiclover55 said:


> While there is nothing wrong with being bi, there's nothing wrong with not wanting to be with someone who is bi. It's just a preference. I don't think that means that you're judgmental and if it does, so what? Everyone is judgmental in some form.
> 
> Personally, I get turned off by the possibility that a guy I like is bisexual. I can't really explain why, I just do. I guess it goes with that "I want a masculine man" mentality that most woman have (as well as the "I want a feminine woman" that most men have).


I see where you are coming from, it was more the way the OP described the whole situation e.g: 'THIS' that ticked me off a bit. Also the fact that she said it's weird, not that she thinks it's weird, but that's it's weird as though that's the global consensus. I will admit a flaw of mine is not being open minded about people who are judgemental in situations like this. It's an issue I probably have to work on. I feel like such issues should not exist in humanity, turn off's should be based on a person's actions, personality, I can even understand being put off by someone's appearance, but to stop liking someone you already like just because they are bisexual? It's a little hard for me to think that people could feel that way. My problem though, I guess.


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## strangedays (Nov 17, 2012)

Monroee said:


> I don't see how this is judgmental. She's attracted to men who like women. The thought of him having sex with other men is a turn-off for her, seems perfectly normal to me.


That's what I thought. Some of the posts on here are an excuse for people to get up on their pedestal and look 'cool'.


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

strangedays said:


> That's what I thought. Some of the posts on here are an excuse for people to get up on their pedestal and look 'cool'.


So you think that a person is rejected due sexuality and get mocked is being on a pedestal of coolness ?


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## ACCV93 (Sep 6, 2012)

Really, it all depends on how you feel about it? It's your decision. I'm not here to judge one way or another.


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## GD8 (May 7, 2011)

SnowFlakesFire said:


> Like it would not be annoying enough when he can cheat with girls, he can cheat with guys too.


A cheater is a cheater, if any guy (or girl) wants to cheat then they *will* cheat. Just because they have another option doesn't mean they'd be any more likely to cheat.


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

GD8 said:


> A cheater is a cheater, if any guy (or girl) wants to cheat then they *will* cheat. Just because they have another option doesn't mean they'd be any more likely to cheat.


Actually it doubles possible cheating candidates, lol only women is 50% less than women and men.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

SnowFlakesFire said:


> Actually it doubles possible cheating candidates, lol only women is 50% less than women and men.


Surely that is down to the individual though? For instance there may be a heterosexual or homosexual man or woman who finds themselves attracted to almost every one they meet, where as there might be a bisexual who either leans more to one gender anyway, or who likes both genders more or less equally but isn't attracted to that many people. Sure it throws another gender into the mix, but it doesn't increase probability or even the number of partners someone would want to sleep with (necessarily.)


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## GD8 (May 7, 2011)

SnowFlakesFire said:


> Actually it doubles possible cheating candidates, lol only women is 50% less than women and men.


Okay but that doesn't mean they're more inclined to cheat lol, it completely depends on the individual


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

Tanya1 said:


> I did mean it somewhat half heartedly, but sure why not? If you were like discussing famous people. I'm grey-a and stuff like that would not make me jealous like it would some people on top of that, so my views on relationships and such are not the average person's I will admit...


This is difficult , is like i am trying to communicate whit other specie.

Basically if i am whit the person , if i really love that person, if i want have a family whit that person, if that person completes me i would not be whit other women or man, but only that person.

And a great movie , a great example


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

paraboia said:


> This is difficult , is like i am trying to communicate whit other specie.
> 
> Basically if i am whit the person , if i really love that person, if i want have a family whit that person, if that person completes me i would not be whit other women or man, but only that person.
> 
> And a great movie , a great example


Thank you for referring to me as another species. This is funny because you are moaning about other's in this thread for not wanting to date bisexuals but you don't understand how I could be fine with a conversation that involved famous people? I wasn't talking about being in love I just meant dating, but say I was in love with them, it still probably wouldn't bother me. If it was someone I knew in real life it probably would, but I guess I just don't see famous people as a realistic 'challenge' for my affections. :stu but like I said, I can see why it would bother most people, and I get that. Even though I'm an alien.


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## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

Get rid,fast.


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

Tanya1 said:


> Thank you for referring to me as another species. This is funny because you are moaning about other's in this thread for not wanting to date bisexuals but you don't understand how I could be fine with a conversation that involved famous people? I wasn't talking about being in love I just meant dating, but say I was in love with them, it still probably wouldn't bother me. If it was someone I knew in real life it probably would, but I guess I just don't see famous people as a realistic 'challenge' for my affections. :stu but like I said, I can see why it would bother most people, and I get that. Even though I'm an alien.


Sorry i didnt say you are other specie, i feel like other specie .
No , no, my prob is not people choices and FREEDOM to date what the hell they want.

What makes you think that a guy is watching tv whit you and is looking to guys cause is bi?

I mean can you define bi-sexuality ?


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## kiirby (Oct 8, 2010)

Monroee said:


> I don't see how this is judgmental. She's attracted to men who like women. The thought of him having sex with other men is a turn-off for her, seems perfectly normal to me.





Paloma M said:


> That's just weird. Now I think about it, it's strange and I definitely don't have feelings for him anymore. It's just weird how I flirted with a bisexual guy. I mean it would be cool if we were friends. I really wouldn't care but when I think of the things that he did, it just makes me feel awkward. I actually couldn't stop laughing when I found out he is bisexual. I have no idea why. I mean please don't think I am against homosexuals. I have met plenty of nice ones. It's just kind of a bummer to me that I liked this guy and I had to find out about THIS.


Sense the tone. The reason for the backlash is the lack of any sort of rationale as to why bisexuality should be a deciding factor in whether or not you like someone. He was always bisexual. She always had a crush on a bisexual. It is her own preconceptions and her own bigotry that are called into question here.

I don't feel as though it should be acceptable to dismiss someone entirely as a potential mate solely because of their sexuality. The OP must, at the very least, admit that she is the one at fault, here. I get that societal rules enforce that homosexuality is gross, whatever. It is a preference but it must be seen as a misplaced preference.

I don't think it is oversensitive of me to call homophobia on this one. It is discrimination and mockery based solely upon someone's sexuality. No, it isn't okay.


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## yes (Feb 27, 2008)

one pathetic loner said:


> is it kind of strange to me... i mean how does one man put his dick up another mans ***? i have nothing against homosexuals/bisexuals they have a right to be together and pursue happiness but i cannot fathom the gay sex.


it's no different than straight people having anal sex. it's not like only gay people do it. and another thing, the reason why pegging exists too is because the prostate is the male equivalent of the g-spot.


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## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)




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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

yes said:


> it's no different than straight people having anal sex. it's not like only gay people do it. and another thing, the reason why pegging exists too is because the prostate is the male equivalent of the g-spot.


this


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

It's not homophobic, but it is a bit strange.

I think the biggest problem you have is that you have to compete with other girls and guys, not just girls.


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## Thinkerbell (Jul 8, 2012)

kiirby said:


> Sense the tone. The reason for the backlash is the lack of any sort of rationale as to why bisexuality should be a deciding factor in whether or not you like someone. He was always bisexual. She always had a crush on a bisexual. It is her own preconceptions and her own bigotry that are called into question here.
> 
> *I don't feel as though it should be acceptable to dismiss someone entirely as a potential mate solely because of their sexuality.* The OP must, at the very least, admit that she is the one at fault, here. I get that societal rules enforce that homosexuality is gross, whatever. It is a preference but it must be seen as a misplaced preference.
> 
> I don't think it is oversensitive of me to call homophobia on this one. It is discrimination and mockery based solely upon someone's sexuality. No, it isn't okay.


I think some of you guys are trying too hard. "Dismissing" a partner based on sexuality seems like a valid reason. Explain why it is not a valid preference, please.


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## BladeRunnerB26354 (Apr 12, 2012)

There is nothing homophobic about not finding someone bisexual attractive!

Who you find attractive is down to personal choice, if someone dating both sexes is a turn off, that's how you feel, it's not discrimination! That said, I would always give someone a chance and get to know them, beyond "labels" of what they do and do not like.

I do know quite a lot of girls who find bisexuality in males a turn off and I can understand that. Rightly or wrongly they seem to see it as reducing a guy's masculinity, and for that reason a turn off.

Re the poster who said gay sex is all about s*domy, it's wrong to fixate on that and think gay = butt sechs - many gay men do not like that kind of sex, it's not an automatic thing gay guys all do.

^ In fact many studies show straight couples have about the same amount of butt sechs as gay ones, so I do wish people wouldn't fixate on men putting their privates in other men's bums.

To the OP - if you don't know the guy well, try getting to know him better and see how you feel. If the bisexual thing is still off putting, don't beat yourself up about it - who you want to date is up to you.

In future you might meet a bisexual man and not find it a problem - perhaps because that guy is different, or you have changed a little as we all do as we get older.

*Re bi girls versus bi guys:

*I don't see it as hypocritical for men or women to find bisexual girls appealing or more acceptable. Again rightly or wrongly that plays into male fantasies in a way women don't seem to (from my experience) fantasise about bi men.

My current GF is an exception in my experience, as she finds bisexual men and men with men very sexy.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

paraboia said:


> Sorry i didnt say you are other specie, i feel like other specie .
> No , no, my prob is not people choices and FREEDOM to date what the hell they want.
> 
> What makes you think that a guy is watching tv whit you and is looking to guys cause is bi?
> ...


ok, maybe I'm misunderstanding you. Uh, I was just saying it might be interesting to be able to say watch a program find an actor you both find mutually attractive and comment on that in passing, you know like a friend and boyfriend rolled into one. Assuming you have similar tastes and all. I wasn't saying that he would be deliberatly looking at other guys because he's bi, but you know, Haha nevermind, was just a passing comment anyway, I haven't thought that in depth about it.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

> Content removed - Neo


We get it, you're a homophobe, calm down.


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## mistylake (Apr 24, 2012)

one pathetic loner said:


> i have nothing against homosexuals/bisexuals they have a right to be together and pursue happiness but *i cannot fathom the gay sex*.


I don't really see how it's different from anal sex between a man and a woman. What people do in their bedroom is their own business.


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## DontDoSadness (Jan 12, 2011)

I can understand why someone would feel weird about finding out someone they like is bisexual and it's okay if for you to feel that way. I personally would not have a problem with it and I believe that sexuality is more complicated than just heterosexuality and homosexuality.


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## mistylake (Apr 24, 2012)

Paloma M said:


> I think it's a good reason. *I don't want to like someone who hooked up with other guys. That's just weird.* Now I think about it, it's strange and I definitely don't have feelings for him anymore. *It's just weird how I flirted with a bisexual guy*. I mean it would be cool if we were friends. I really wouldn't care but* when I think of the things that he did, it just makes me feel awkward.** I actually couldn't stop laughing when I found out he is bisexual. *I have no idea why. I mean please don't think I am against homosexuals. I have met plenty of nice ones. It's just kind of a bummer to me that I liked this guy and I had to find out about THIS.


You're doing the guy a favor "giving up" on him, really. He'll be better off with someone who actually respects him and genuinely likes him exactly the way he is.


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## vstar401 (Nov 11, 2012)

I don't really dig guys who are bi ... but I think bi-sexual girls are cool


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## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

She's doing herself a favour too.He rather be with a guy instead of a pretty girl like her.


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## DontDoSadness (Jan 12, 2011)

vstar401 said:


> I don't really dig guys who are bi ... but I think bi-sexual girls are cool


Double Standard


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

If I found out a girl I really liked was bisexual, it wouldn't stop me from dating her but as for anything super serious, I don't know if I could go there. Being attracted to girls as well she probably wouldn't be satisfied with just a guy the rest of her life. I wouldnt feel like I was enough. Again, though, as I said...dating? Absolutely. Easy threesome opportunity


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## Brasilia (Aug 23, 2012)

Rossy said:


> She's doing herself a favour too.He rather be with a guy instead of a pretty girl like her.


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## mistylake (Apr 24, 2012)

Brasilia said:


>


:lol


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## BladeRunnerB26354 (Apr 12, 2012)

rymo said:


> dating? Absolutely. Easy threesome opportunity


Not in my experience, almost all of my GFs have been bisexual and all but one has viewed being with one person, one person. Not that they need one person of either sex. They say they are attracted to the individual not the gender, so if they're with me, that is who they are faithful to. They viewed going with a girl at the same time the same way they'd view sleeping with another man while dating me - as cheating - not something they needed to be fulfilled.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I don't have any problems with homosexuality but I wouldn't want to date a bi guy either. It's too easy to get sex from men and guys tend to have higher sex drives and like variety. I guess you would have the same problem dating a straight guy who was very good looking or very rich. I think outgoing people are more liable to cheat too. A lot of cheating is just opportunity.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

BladeRunnerB26354 said:


> Not in my experience, almost all of my GFs have been bisexual and all but one has viewed being with one person, one person. Not that they need one person of either sex. They say they are attracted to the individual not the gender, so if they're with me, that is who they are faithful to. They viewed going with a girl at the same time the same way they'd view sleeping with another man while dating me - as cheating - not something they needed to be fulfilled.


That's good to know actually. But with the threesome thing, I'm just talking more a friends with benefits or casual dating situation where that would be more likely.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

I wouldn't care. But I might have a harder time dealing with my own worries about being inadequate if I wasn't secure in the relationship(worrying that he longs for something I can't provide). That is my own problem, though. I don't have a problem with bisexuality.


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## SoWrongItsRight (May 9, 2012)

I'd be out. I wouldn't date a bisexual. I have nothing against anyone that is, to each their own, but that's a no go for me


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## Marakunda (Jun 7, 2011)

To me, being bi = just not caring as much.

You're attracted to more people when you're bi, simple as. If it weirds you out that your crush might be having sex with males, fair enough. Just know that he's probably just like any other guy in most other ways. No reason to not be attracted to him simply because he's bi. That's actually legitimately disappointing, the fact that a lot of girls think this way. There's just no reason for it... seems a bit stupid to me.

I would have definitely dated a bi girl when I thought of myself as straight. I just don't see anything wrong with straight/bi relationships. Why do people constantly have to put labels on things? It only leads to preferring, and restricting yourself. I feel I could like/love someone of any sex, what's not to like about that? That's great.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

Knowing me I wouldn't mind. Of course there is a double standard with bi guys and girls. Anybody can cheat doesn't matter what sexuality they are. Of course people think any bi person cheats which isn't true for all. Anybody can cheat male or female, gay, straight, bi, trans whatever.

I tend to accept most stuff though...


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

Wow, the replies are surprisingly harsh considering OP clearly had mixed feelings about this herself.


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

rednosereindeer said:


> Wow, the replies are surprisingly harsh considering OP clearly had mixed feelings about this herself.


well she did go to the internet for advice.......


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## Thinkerbell (Jul 8, 2012)

Tanya1 said:


> It's valid but it's flawed. In the same way that dumping someone because you suddenly realised they were from a certain ethnic background, even though (and here's the key part) you admitted to liking them before hand, is pretty wrong. I can understand that some people are genuinely put off by these things but really you should only be concerned about whether they like you and want to be with you. I'm sorry but I genuinely believe that shallow views like this are what is wrong with the human race, I understand that people can't always help it though due to cultural upbringing.


Another misuse of the term shallow. :roll AND you didn't answer my question. Just blabbed on and on.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

OP, you are a pretty girl. You actually look a lot like my cousin, and a lot of guys find her attractive.

I think this is all because of insecurity. You are insecure that you aren't good enough, that your femininity wasn't enough to keep him attracted to girls. But, think about this...was he bi before he met you, or after he met you? Because if he was bi all along, you just dated someone who was always attracted to both genders, so nothing has really changed. You are just aware of it now.

All guys look at other members of the sex they prefer, even when they have girlfriends. Just because he _might_ look at a guy that way, doesn't mean that he will hook up with him. If he is a good guy, he will not cheat on you, with a girl OR a guy. You see...you have _just_ as much competition from women as you do from men! Doesn't that ease your anxiety here?


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## F1X3R (Jul 20, 2009)

Tanya1 said:


> Surely that is down to the individual though? For instance there may be a heterosexual or homosexual man or woman who finds themselves attracted to almost every one they meet, *where as there might be a bisexual who either leans more to one gender anyway*, or who likes both genders more or less equally but isn't attracted to that many people. Sure it throws another gender into the mix, but it doesn't increase probability or even the number of partners someone would want to sleep with (necessarily.)


What I got from the OP was that she just doesn't feel sexually attracted to him right now. She's questioning her own feelings, not preaching them.



Zeeshan said:


> well she did go to the internet for advice.......


:wels


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

Paloma M said:


> I really don't know if I should still like him. A friend of mine told me that he saw him hooking up with other guys. I didn't believe him until he showed me a picture. I really don't know if it's a stupid reason for me to not like him anymore just because he is bi. It's because I'm straight so this is weird.


I understand, Iwould have a hard time forming a "relationship" with a woman like this. "Twice the competition, Twice the headaches." I know one day she will have a taste for something I can't provide.


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

rednosereindeer said:


> Wow, the replies are surprisingly harsh considering OP clearly had mixed feelings about this herself.


You have to define harsh...
If a person as a mix of feelings, she should not mix others feelings to.

You come here whit that kind of statement expect the worst.
What you think ? People are social experiences? You go for a ride laugh a bit , mock a bit and is all good?

Is not my fault this litle girl has a issue of low auto confidence, and is a easy flurt if she gets any small bit of attention (attention whoring)and then someone shows up in her life and she feeds a illusion and dismiss a person due sexuality preferences or fantasies.


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## cautious (Jun 1, 2012)

Haha, ouch at some of the responses. 
Just because a person's Bi doesn't mean they're more likely to cheat...they're just capable of falling for a person regardless of gender - guy or girl.

I hate how bisexuals are generally perceived as being more promiscuous just because it's 'easier' - it all depends on the individual.

Too bad for those of you who aren't willing to date bi guys/girls.


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## Katastrophe (Oct 13, 2012)

But... that makes it so much more awesome!


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## JGreenwood (Jan 28, 2011)

Op you're in the right here. A relationship is hard enough when you have to worry about 1 sex and their intentions. 2 would make it hair falling out stressful.


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## GD8 (May 7, 2011)

WintersTale said:


> All guys look at other members of the sex they prefer, even when they have girlfriends.


I don't lol.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

I can understand insecurity about whether you can be enough for them, but what I've heard from friends who are bisexual is really that being with someone would satisfy their needs. So while they might sometimes want other things, they aren't rushing out to get it because what they have is fine. And I imagine people in heterosexual relationships also fantasise about being with others at times, without that resulting in all of them cheating or going off with other people. I mean.. you can have a thing for nurses and a thing for cheerleaders without needing to find a girl that's both. (Gooooo Medicine!! :yay)

And I'm frankly very surprised at the number of people who say it's ok to be turned off by bisexuality and saying that's a legitimate personal choice.
You shouldn't be with people where it wouldn't work out of course, but if you're the intolerant one, you're the reason why it wouldn't work out and you shouldn't try finding excuses like _"They would definitely be cheating on me"._


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

Tanya1 said:


> ok, maybe I'm misunderstanding you. Uh, I was just saying it might be interesting to be able to say watch a program find an actor you both find mutually attractive and comment on that in passing, you know like a friend and boyfriend rolled into one. Assuming you have similar tastes and all. I wasn't saying that he would be deliberatly looking at other guys because he's bi, but you know, Haha nevermind, was just a passing comment anyway, I haven't thought that in depth about it.


I pretty sure if the person really likes you , i mean truly passion butterflies in stomach and all , you think he is going to look to a guy on tv and find him attractive, by theses line of thinking he could be doing the same looking to a girl.

Now i imagine you watching tv whit a bi guy, and you comment about a guy being handsome and he is looking to the girl whit the big boobs cause he does not find the guy attractive at all or any of the rest in the tv, meh must be disappointing .


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

I'm kinda beginning to think I should never let girls know anything lol.

They can stop liking you for saying penis, or liking dudes too..

I prefer tea to coffee. Is that a turn off? You really can't be too careful :um


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

paraboia said:


> You have to define harsh...
> If a person as a mix of feelings, she should not mix others feelings to.
> 
> You come here whit that kind of statement expect the worst.
> ...


Did I say harsh? I meant irrelevant. I'm sure when OP comes back and reads all the responses she'll come out feeling enlightened about why she feels the way she does and whether or not she should feel bad about it.

And I'd insult you for being an ***, but it's too early in the morning for that.


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

rednosereindeer said:


> Did I say harsh? I meant irrelevant. I'm sure when OP comes back and reads all the responses she'll come out feeling enlightened about why she feels the way she does and whether or not she should feel bad about it.
> 
> And I'd insult you for being an ***, but it's too early in the morning for that.


not to early to be a hypocrite i guess.

What you dont understand is that if someone rejects a bi person due to sexuality , you are doing a favor to that person. Do you think i would date someone whit her line of thinking? I wish all palomas and palomos in the world revel them selfs like this.
Unless you feel that is right to feed someone (crush) whit false feelings, and then reject that person like sexuality was meaning of a plague.That is being an ****.

If you dont imagine yourself whit a bi person, just dont be whit that person, is nothing wrong for a person not to identify whit other person orientation , you are not less open minded cause of that .


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

How cool would it be to have a bi girlfriend.


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## F1X3R (Jul 20, 2009)

paraboia said:


> not to early to be a hypocrite i guess.
> 
> What you dont understand is that if someone rejects a bi person due to sexuality , you are doing a favor to that person. Do you think i would date someone whit her line of thinking? I wish all palomas and palomos in the world revel them selfs like this.
> Unless you feel that is right to feed someone (crush) whit false feelings, and then reject that person like sexuality was meaning of a plague.That is being an ****.
> ...


Isn't this the conclusion the OP was looking to get to? People are imagining other things just to get offended.


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

F1X3R said:


> Isn't this the conclusion the OP was looking to get to? People are imagining other things just to get offended.


Did you even read this thread? Did you skipped the part she said that liked him then find out his bi, in a fraction of 1 second she dislike him and then said by her words that she actually laugh when she was aware of is sexuality.


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## DontDoSadness (Jan 12, 2011)

WintersTale said:


> OP, you are a pretty girl. You actually look a lot like my cousin, and a lot of guys find her attractive.
> 
> I think this is all because of insecurity. You are insecure that you aren't good enough, that your femininity wasn't enough to keep him attracted to girls. But, think about this...was he bi before he met you, or after he met you? Because if he was bi all along, you just dated someone who was always attracted to both genders, so nothing has really changed. You are just aware of it now.
> 
> All guys look at other members of the sex they prefer, even when they have girlfriends. Just because he _might_ look at a guy that way, doesn't mean that he will hook up with him. If he is a good guy, he will not cheat on you, with a girl OR a guy. You see...you have _just_ as much competition from women as you do from men! Doesn't that ease your anxiety here?


Amen


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## kast (Nov 22, 2012)

It is a weird reason to stop being attracted to someone. I really don't see what the problem is...

* You're not in a relationship with him, so you're not affected by whatever male or female partners he has.
* You're a girl who likes guys, and he's a guy. He likes girls too, and you're a girl. If you two got together, you'd be in an average heterosexual relationship.
* I don't see why it's weirder to think of his past male partners than his past female partners. That seems more like a general issue of insecurity on your part. In your age group and onwards, most of your potential partners will not be virgins, and their relationships in the past have nothing to do with you.

What do you think is the reason behind why you feel so uncomfortable with this?


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

Monroee said:


> I don't see how this is judgmental. She's attracted to men who like women. The thought of him having sex with other men is a turn-off for her, seems perfectly normal to me.


Thankyou! You read my mind.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

I can't believe how many women think like this. It's A-OK for a girl to be bisexual but a guy can't be? Give me a ****ing break. This hypocrisy makes me sick. I am mildly bi-curious at best, I have never done anything with a guy (I was even too chicken to get a lap dance at a male strip club) and would never in a million years think about cheating on a girl I'm with. Just because I find someone attractive (whether male or female) doesn't mean I'd go cheat on my girlfriend with them.

The gross double standard in society is why I wish I was born a female instead. So that I could explore my sexuality more freely (though I couldn't have penetrative sex with a female if I was a chick. So I'd miss that aspect. lol). I think the reason why I never bothered to explore anything with a guy is because there is so much homophobia towards man-on-man sex that this part of me has been repressed. Like I've tried watching guy-on-guy scenes in porn and they don't turn me on at all. But a hot guy in a male-female scene makes the scene hotter (just like a hot girl would). And I did get turned on flirting with some guys online while pretending to be a girl (the whole idea of two dudes being together doesn't turn me on. But I'm attracted to guys. If that makes sense. At the end of the day, I am attracted to girls too (and I prefer women, unless they are unattractive) and I'm not a cheater. So this homophobic hypocrisy being spewed by women is bull****.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

paraboia said:


> You have to define harsh...
> If a person as a mix of feelings, she should not mix others feelings to.
> 
> You come here whit that kind of statement expect the worst.
> ...


Seriously, you don't know me at all and you are a freakin judgemental human being yourself by calling me an easy flirt. WTF I really want to know where the hell you came up with that sh*t. Just because I'm asking a question about someone I had a crush on for two years, you are calling me an easy flirt. I suggest you watch whatever more stupid scum comes out of your mouth before you point your fingers and judge someone else. Hypocrite.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I might be okay with a guy who was 10% ****- 90% hetero but 50/50....no way. Like if they wouldn't mind messing around with a guy in MFM threesome or they kissed one of their male friends once when they were drunk that would be fine. But if they are banging other guys left and right...just no.

I consider myself about 10-15% **** and 85-90% hetero. I wouldn't mind making out with another woman (and maybe feel them up a bit) but having sex with one has no appeal.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

I get where you are coming from OP.

Many of the people posting in this thread judging you, also preach that people are attracted to who they are attracted to. You aren't attracted to dudes that are into dudes, so what.

I know it's not popular to say, but I'm not attracted to chicks that are into chicks either.

*high five*


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Canucklehead said:


> I get where you are coming from OP.
> 
> Many of the people posting in this thread judging you, also preach that people are attracted to who they are attracted to. You aren't attracted to dudes that are into dudes, so what.
> 
> ...


You're not into bisexual girls. But the real hypocrisy in this situation is that there are people who think its ok for a girl to be bi but not ok for a guy to be bi. That is what's really ****ing bull****. I once talked to a girl on SAS Chat who fooled around with girls sexually but told me that she doesn't like bi guys because what they are doing goes against God. Give. Me. A. ****ing. Break. Meanwhile this girl (who shall remain nameless) is an oral and rear-entry specialist who has all this casual sex to boot. Not exactly a model disciple of the Lord.


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## Thinkerbell (Jul 8, 2012)

^Did anyone in this thread say they have sex with girls but hate homosexual men? That's so off topic. And I'd argue most homophobia comes from men. So yeah go ahead and say Women ruined everything by not dating bi guys. Whatever.


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

Paloma M said:


> Seriously, you don't know me at all and you are a freakin judgemental human being yourself by calling me an easy flirt. WTF I really want to know where the hell you came up with that sh*t. Just because I'm asking a question about someone I had a crush on for two years, you are calling me an easy flirt. I suggest you watch whatever more stupid scum comes out of your mouth before you point your fingers and judge someone else. Hypocrite.


People always say this sentence, you dont know me bla bla bla, well you didnt know the guy either and you were a freakin judgemental human lauhgting of his sexuality, and you dare to call me hypocrite ?
you are ignorant end of talk.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

paraboia said:


> People always say this sentence, you dont know me bla bla bla, well you didnt know the guy either and you were a freakin judgemental human lauhgting of his sexuality, and you dare to call me hypocrite ?
> you are ignorant end of talk.


She isn't attracted to guys that like guys sexually, get over it.


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

Canucklehead said:


> She isn't attracted to guys that like guys sexually, get over it.


:roll


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

komorikun said:


> I might be okay with a guy who was 10% ****- 90% hetero but 50/50....no way. Like if they wouldn't mind messing around with a guy in MFM threesome or they kissed one of their male friends once when they were drunk that would be fine. But if they are banging other guys left and right...just no.
> 
> I consider myself about 10-15% **** and 85-90% hetero. I wouldn't mind making out with another woman (and maybe feel them up a bit) but having sex with one has no appeal.


But this is the thing, each person is different , i dont believe there are many 50% out there, i identify whit your view of your sexuality.
Im like this also .

I would always date a women , but for respect to the person is fare to tell her about this, if the person dont accept is cause she was not the right person for me, no big deal cause nobody loses, so i expect the same attitude at least dont get judged or mocked for my sexuality .


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Thinkerbell said:


> ^Did anyone in this thread say they have sex with girls but hate homosexual men? That's so off topic. And I'd argue most homophobia comes from men. So yeah go ahead and say Women ruined everything by not dating bi guys. Whatever.


It is not off-topic. If a girl is bi, it's like "that's so hot". If a guy is bi, he's a "******" in denial and its "weird". There is a serious double standard in our society. Women deserve to be called out on that ****. Because it's such a ****ing cop out. How often do you see men say that they wouldn't date a bi girl? Most love that ****.

Canucklehead says he's not into bi girls. But I wouldn't be shocked if the catgirl he slept with was bi. I find that hyper sexual girls tend to be bi. From the field research I've done getting involved with bi girls and cybering with them online and what not. Bi girls have helped expand my sexual horizons. They tend to be more out there (that's not to say straight girls can't be freaky. Of course they can.) And if she was bi, I bet he wouldn't have passed that kitty up. That's the main difference with this whole ****. And notice how you said "hate homosexual men". We're talking about bi guys here. See that's the thing. People automatically assume that if a guy has the desire to make out with another guy, blow him whatever, he's just a "***" in the closet. Lots of people have this belief that you have to be one way or another. You can't play for both teams or just dabble on one team part-time. Or have curiosity about trying out for the other team a bit.

I'm not surprised that women hold these beliefs because most of America doesn't even have gay marriage yet and bigotry is concentrated more heavily towards bi/gay guys and lesbians than bi girls. And even many liberals are not accepting of male bisexuality. Paloma is from Red State Texas and likely a Roman Catholic Hispanic girl so I don't expect any better from her (of course the are liberal girls in Texas. Especially Houston and Dallas. But overall I'd say Texans are less accepting of LGBT than the Blue States). But when Blue State liberals have these thoughts about bisexuals, it boggles my mind. I can understand Komorikun's (California liberal) mindset because she's afraid a 50/50 bi guy is going to step out on her or cheat to have hedonistic sex with guys. Even then though, when I really like a girl and want to "get wifed up", I don't even look at other girls (or guys). It depends on the individual's integrity.


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

phoenixwright said:


> It is not off-topic. If a girl is bi, it's like "that's so hot". If a guy is bi, he's a "******" in denial and its "weird". There is a serious double standard in our society.
> 
> Canucklehead says he's not into bi girls. But I wouldn't be shocked if the catgirl he slept with was bi. And if she was bi, I bet he wouldn't have passed that kitty up. That's the main difference with this whole ****. And notice how you said "hate homosexual men". We're talking about bi guys here. See that's the thing. People automatically assume that if a guy has the desire to make out with another guy, blow him whatever, he's just a "***" in the closet. Lots of people have this belief that you have to be one way or another. You can't play for both teams or just dabble on one team part-time. Or have curiosity about trying out for the other team a bit.


I agree whit this, is totally biased this sort of double standard view, but in other side from bad things we retrieve good ones , so will not lost nothing like ending up whit a very judgmental personality regarding your sexuality.

Do not forget also that some people have actually some sort of complex due others sexuality. For example there is a mental pathology in some persons that makes them dislike black people. Same way some people here have social anxiety .I once saw a guy humiliating a fellow human being just cause sexual orientation . How many were murdered cause of that? Due sexuality? So if a person hates other due sexuality, a death hate, it explains many things.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

Paloma M said:


> Thankyou! You read my mind.


Yeah Paloma forget all these jerk-offs telling you that you are "insecure" because you aren't into folks who also like the same sex. If you want a "straight" male, you want a "straight" male. You don't want male whose "been" with men, or "thinking" about being with men. All the straight men in the world, you can find one that isn't sexually "fluid".


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

theseventhkey said:


> Yeah Paloma forget all these jerk-offs telling you that you are "insecure" because you aren't into folks who also like the same sex. If you want a "straight" male, you want a "straight" male. You don't want male whose "been" with men, or "thinking" about being with men. All the straight men in the world, you can find one that isn't sexually "fluid".


We can talk about "preferences" all we want. But these preferences are rooted in macro-level (societal) bigotry. There is a double standard that exists in society where if a girl is bi, it's "that is ****ing hawt". But if a guy is bi, he's a "***". That's the real issue here. Bisexual women are accepted in society. But not bi men. This is why I'm in that state where I can't ever go through with anything with a guy. That side of me is repressed to the point that guy-on-guy doesn't turn me on at all (but I can look at a hot guy and admire him aesthetically. But also feel insanely jealous if I see them with women I find attractive since I prefer women. lol) If I was a girl, it would be very different because it's not like I have to worry about guys saying, "what you've had sex with girls? You're a ****, get outta my face!" instead they'll say "that is ****ing hot, can I haz threesome?" Because of all the societal bull**** that we have to put up with. My brother is a Red State conservative who feels that homosexuality/bisexuality is a sin. My sister is a liberal who says that she couldn't ever date a bi guy. My parents are Roman Catholic conservatives. I've seen bi girls say that they don't want bi guys (can you believe that ****?! lol). And we justify this bigotry based on "preferences".


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

theseventhkey said:


> Yeah Paloma forget all these jerk-offs telling you that you are "insecure" because you aren't into folks who also like the same sex. If you want a "straight" male, you want a "straight" male. You don't want male whose "been" with men, or "thinking" about being with men. All the straight men in the world, you can find one that isn't sexually "fluid".


How can you know if your partner is or isnt bi ?
Prob you dated before someone that could be bi and you have no clue.
And you know what is gonna be even more difficult , people will hide it more.
So i would not spit in the air whit the consequence of getting the spit in the forehead.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

phoenixwright said:


> We can talk about "preferences" all we want. But these preferences are rooted in macro-level (societal) bigotry. There is a double standard that exists in society where if a girl is bi, it's "that is ****ing hawt". But if a guy is bi, he's a "***". That's the real issue here.


What are you ranting about? Being against someones sexuality and not being attracted to a person of a certain sexual preference are two completely different things. You can't force equality issues into matters of attraction.


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

Canucklehead said:


> What are you ranting about? Being against someones sexuality and not being attracted to a person of a certain sexual preference are two completely different things. You can't force equality issues into matters of attraction.


Ok i ask you this , you met a girl in this forum that you really like, you start a relation whit her and you love her, and after a while she reveals you that she as bi sexual tendencies . What you do?


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Canucklehead said:


> What are you ranting about? Being against someones sexuality and not being attracted to a person of a certain sexual preference are two completely different things. You can't force equality issues into matters of attraction.


You conveniently justify bigotry under the cloak of "preferences". Meanwhile I bet if catgirl was bi (she might have very well been), you wouldn't have had any problem getting at that kitty. This is no different than white girls saying they wouldn't date black guys because it's "weird" (motivated by bigotry).


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

paraboia said:


> Ok i ask you this , you met a girl in this forum that you really like, you start a relation whit her and you love her, and after a while she reveals you that she as bi sexual tendencies . What you do?


Pray the gay away. :teeth

But in all seriousness, I would hope that we were open and honest before starting a relationship to iron out any secrets we may be hiding. Finding this out later wouldn't bother me, but it would be nice to know before getting serious with a person.


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

Canucklehead said:


> Pray the gay away.


What?
Didnt understand nothing, you mean you get rid of her?


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Canucklehead said:


> What are you ranting about? Being against someones sexuality and not being attracted to a person of a certain sexual preference are two completely different things. You can't force equality issues into matters of attraction.


Attraction isn't some magical quality that is completely unexplained or which can't be influenced. The question is what things we should try to influence and what things to just allow, not whether or not we should try to influence them at all.
I think most people in here would have a problem if somebody rejected another based on race for example.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Canucklehead said:


> Pray the gay away. :teeth
> 
> But in all seriousness, I would hope that we were open and honest before starting a relationship to iron out any secrets we may be hiding. Finding this out later wouldn't bother me, but it would be nice to know before getting serious with a person.


See this is the difference between guys seeing bi girls and girls seeing bi guys. You, the guy, would like to "talk it out" beforehand. Meanwhile the girl would just be like "he's been with guys or is curious? oh hells no." How is this not bull****? Women want to justify their bigotry under the cloak of "preferences". Go ahead and say that you wouldn't date a black guy because it's "weird" ladies. See how much people back you up now.



Milco said:


> Attraction isn't some magical quality that is completely unexplained or which can't be influenced. The question is what things we should try to influence and what things to just allow, not whether or not we should try to influence them at all.
> I think most people in there would have a problem if somebody rejected another based on race for example.


Amen.
See the Scandinavians get it man.
I think it's perfectly fine when white girls say they don't find black guys attractive on the surface. What matters is the reasoning behind it. A lot of that preference is culturally influenced by a culture of bigotry. And if the girl pulled a Paloma and said that she wouldn't be with a black guy because it's "weird", I guarantee she'd be labelled a racist by mostly everyone here. Barely anyone would tolerate that bigotry. Homophobia is still accepted in society to a degree. But not racism.


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

Canucklehead said:


> Pray the gay away. :teeth
> 
> But in all seriousness, I would hope that we were open and honest before starting a relationship to iron out any secrets we may be hiding. Finding this out later wouldn't bother me, but it would be nice to know before getting serious with a person.


I dont understand this, you want honesty and no secrets ok makes sense , but then if you start having feelings before that?

Is not like you start liking a person and automatically you know she is bi.
It takes time , i mean if you already start loving a person before your mind even thinks of sexuality possibility,s.

Dont tell me you expect also that person reveals her fantasies to?

And if the girl is not bi, but has a fetish whit other girls, only fantasy ...
Yea cause some fantasy are just that, you dont have to engage in the fantasy, you dont have necessary to perform it , some people have fantasy and is nothing more than a mind scenario.


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

Milco said:


> Attraction isn't some magical quality that is completely unexplained or which can't be influenced. The question is what things we should try to influence and what things to just allow, not whether or not we should try to influence them at all.
> I think most people in there would have a problem if somebody rejected another based on race for example.


:yes so true


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

Milco said:


> Attraction isn't some magical quality that is completely unexplained or which can't be influenced. The question is what things we should try to influence and what things to just allow, not whether or not we should try to influence them at all.
> I think most people in here would have a problem if somebody rejected another based on race for example.


Certainly race can be a touchy subject, but if someone isn't attracted to someone of a certain race is that inherently wrong? I say no, it isn't any more wrong than someone rejecting someone based on their physical appearance.

I tend to keep my preferences to myself, as I know how people can construe things, even on a support site, and twist your words into some sort of hatred towards a group of people.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

paraboia said:


> I dont understand this, you want honesty and no secrets ok makes sense , but then if you start having feelings before that?
> 
> Is not like you start liking a person and automatically you know she is bi.
> It takes time , i mean if you already start loving a person before your mind even thinks of sexuality possibility,s.
> ...


Yeah the fantasy thing is a great point. I have some fantasies that are just out there. And for me the bi-curiosity thing is mostly rooted in fantasy. But apparently we're freaks for having these "deviant" fantasies. We must all be middle-ground squares who don't stray too far from the norm. I'm not about to go into detail about having bi fantasies but not seeking a real-world outlet for that because this doesn't seem to be a very LGBT friendly space. But you know what? It is what it is. The real world is not very accepting and I don't feel that we should be sheltered from that reality. Most people are ******* conformists who buy into groupthink and can't think independently for themselves. Still though, when you see how much progress was made with the civil rights movement, you can't help but think that there is potential for society to evolve if we stand up and speak up against bigotry. And the funny thing is, when we do just that and speak out against the prejudices of our society, people wanna say "quiet you, it's just a preference". "I don't want black people in my white school or drinking my white-only water fountain, it's a preference."


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Canucklehead said:


> Certainly race can be a touchy subject, but if someone isn't attracted to someone of a certain race is that inherently wrong? I say no, it isn't any more wrong than someone rejecting someone based on their physical appearance.
> 
> I tend to keep my preferences to myself, as I know how people can construe things, even on a support site, and twist your words into some sort of hatred towards a group of people.


My point is really just that I think we should try to examine our attraction and think whether it's in line with how we want to be.
I don't want to give the impression that I'm perfect at this, but I do try to understand why I'm attracted to some and not to others - at the very least it means I learn things about myself.


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

PathologicalSigher said:


> Aren't you being judgmental too? After all, you are in fact passing judgment on her feelings by saying "I think it's a terrible reason..."
> 
> The fact is, he likes what he likes, and she likes what she likes. He likes men and women. Nothing wrong with that. And she happens to like guys who are straight, not bisexual. What's so wrong with that?


If you go by the game you judge more then me, and who is the bigger judge you completely discard the real subject that some are trying to discuss, the double standard and other the elimination of feelings due sexuality feelings.

Today you meet a girl in this forum, you are already following this person posts and you truly identify whit that person , you start a relation whit this person and then she says you that she is bi, but as nothing to do whit the relationship , is just a tendency or fantasy but still the person only wants to be whit you , and you reject the person cause 1 reason , 1 fault, 1 sin , the sexuality issue .


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

Canucklehead said:


> I tend to keep my preferences to myself, as I know how people can construe things, even on a support site, and twist your words into some sort of hatred towards a group of people.


I feel the same

Thats why i was exalted , and i explain why, cause when the op write that sentence, that she actually laugh when she find out the guy was bi. For me is a very sensible subject, how can you tell if you never experience it. Is like fear you never know what is until you experience is extreme.

Anyway i feel the same way.


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

And now this takes me to that conversation i had whit a friend.

Should a bi sexual person reveal straight away her sexuality or wait for the ultimate proof of love. 

Basically if im a crush or labeled like this , if is only a crush , it would not crush any heart if i practice my right of privacy and reveal nothing till I decide when is the right time to decide to test if there is any love.


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## kiirby (Oct 8, 2010)

Canucklehead said:


> Certainly race can be a touchy subject, but if someone isn't attracted to someone of a certain race is that inherently wrong? I say no, it isn't any more wrong than someone rejecting someone based on their physical appearance.
> 
> I tend to keep my preferences to myself, as I know how people can construe things, even on a support site, and twist your words into some sort of hatred towards a group of people.


The subjectiveness of attraction only goes so far. It would be one thing for someone to say 'I tend not to be attracted to black people'. It becomes an entirely different matter when they say 'I would not even consider a black person as a potential partner solely because of the colour of their skin'.

To assume that we are merely trying to incite conflict is to dodge the point. Accountability is certainly necessary when it comes to bigotry of any kind.


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## ImWeird (Apr 26, 2010)

kiirby said:


> Sounds like he missed a real catch.


Yes.



GD8 said:


> That's pretty ignorant,lol, every girl I've ever dated has been bi and it didn't matter to me at all (nor does it matter to like ANY other guy in the world) so I really don't get why it's such a big deal to girls if a guy is bi. Serious double standard right here.


And yes.

@ OP - Why does it matter so much if he's bi? I mean, if he's your crush then you already liked who he is. Oh well though. I wouldn't act on it... He can find someone that will accept him for him.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

paraboia said:


> People always say this sentence, you dont know me bla bla bla, well you didnt know the guy either and you were a freakin judgemental human lauhgting of his sexuality, and you dare to call me hypocrite ?
> you are ignorant end of talk.


I never said that I know this guy well enough to dislike him. I never said that anywhere in my sentence. If I dislike him because he is bisexual, that's my own personal decision and yes, you are a freakin hypocrite. I know you obviously won't admit it and yes, you are judgemental as well for assuming I am an easy flirt just because I posted a question about someone I have a crush on. You assume people with crushes are easy flirts or what? because that's what you just called me. Idiot.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

Thinkerbell said:


> ^Did anyone in this thread say they have sex with girls but hate homosexual men? That's so off topic. And I'd argue most homophobia comes from men. So yeah go ahead and say Women ruined everything by not dating bi guys. Whatever.


I know right? WTF. I never said anywhere in my post that it's okay for girls to be bi but not guys. Random sh*t but okay.


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

Paloma M said:


> I never said that I know this guy well enough to dislike him. I never said that anywhere in my sentence. If I dislike him because he is bisexual, that's my own personal decision and yes, you are a freakin hypocrite. I know you obviously won't admit it and yes, you are judgemental as well for assuming I am an easy flirt just because I posted a question about someone I have a crush on. You assume people with crushes are easy flirts or what? because that's what you just called me. Idiot.


Again i was more exalted due one sentence of you saying that you actually laugh from the fact is bi, i dont find this nice, i find it very cruel.
Im watever makes you feel comfortable whit your self i rest my case.

Thats it, nothing more to say.


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## F1X3R (Jul 20, 2009)

paraboia said:


> Did you even read this thread? Did you skipped the part she said that liked him then find out his bi, in a fraction of 1 second she dislike him and then said by her words that she actually laugh when she was aware of is sexuality.


Yeah I did.



paraboia said:


> Again i was more exalted due one sentence of you saying that you actually laugh from the fact is bi, i dont find this nice, i find it very cruel.
> Im watever makes you feel comfortable whit your self i rest my case.
> 
> Thats it, nothing more to say.


Laughter often arises from the unexpected. If I heard that a flamboyantly gay friend had a 4-way with 3 supermodels, I would laugh out of surprise, just as I would laugh at hearing a guy who was apparently straight having sex with a guy. Not at him, but out of surprise and disbelief.


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

Paloma M said:


> I think it's a good reason. I don't want to like someone who hooked up with other guys. That's just weird. Now I think about it, it's strange and I definitely don't have feelings for him anymore. It's just weird how I flirted with a bisexual guy. I mean it would be cool if we were friends. I really wouldn't care but when I think of the things that he did, it just makes me feel awkward.* I actually couldn't stop laughing when I found out he is bisexual.* I have no idea why. I mean please don't think I am against homosexuals. I have met plenty of nice ones. It's just kind of a bummer to me that I liked this guy and I had to find out about THIS.





F1X3R said:


> Yeah I did.
> 
> Laughter often arises from the unexpected. If I heard that a flamboyantly gay friend had a 4-way with 3 supermodels, I would laugh out of surprise, just as I would laugh at hearing a guy who was apparently straight having sex with a guy. Not at him, but out of surprise and disbelief.


you can laught watever you like, even a old man falling and breaking the hip. 
I really dont care .


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

paraboia said:


> you can laught watever you like, even a old man falling and breaking the hip.
> I really dont care .


Now you're just being silly.


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## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

I would never date a bisexual male, simply because the idea of my boyfriend being attracted to other men whilst being with me, disgusts me.


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

Canucklehead said:


> Now you're just being silly.


I know what is laugh or humor, sarcasm , etc. As well i know mockery.
I think i can tell between laugh whit me or laugh of me.
Im not engaging in any war of words whit you or others in here, you read this thread from the front to backread and you retrieve watever knowledge you want of it.


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

lyric said:


> I would never date a bisexual male, simply because the idea of my boyfriend being attracted to other men whilst being with me, disgusts me.


is not surprising for me, there are people out there that would not date a person just for her color, so nothing really surprises me anymore, is the world i was born, guess i have 3 choices, hate it, embrace it or pretend it does not exist.


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## Flame Sixtyone (Aug 27, 2009)

paraboia said:


> is not surprising for me, there are people out there that would not date a person just for her color, so nothing really surprises me anymore, is the world i was born, guess i have 3 choices, hate it, embrace it or pretend it does not exist.


Agreed, it doesn't really surprise me anymore


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

What an amusing thread.

I can understand the laugh. Having a crush on someone for a while then all of a sudden realizing they aren't what you thought they were, thinking of all the time you spent thinking of them, not even realizing they were disqualified.

Well good thing you found out before you asked him out or started dating him. Could have been a real shocker part way into things.


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## Koolio (Feb 25, 2012)

phoenixwright said:


> I can't believe how many women think like this. It's A-OK for a girl to be bisexual but a guy can't be? Give me a ****ing break. This hypocrisy makes me sick. I am mildly bi-curious at best, I have never done anything with a guy (I was even too chicken to get a lap dance at a male strip club) and would never in a million years think about cheating on a girl I'm with. Just because I find someone attractive (whether male or female) doesn't mean I'd go cheat on my girlfriend with them.
> 
> The gross double standard in society is why I wish I was born a female instead. So that I could explore my sexuality more freely (though I couldn't have penetrative sex with a female if I was a chick. So I'd miss that aspect. lol). I think the reason why I never bothered to explore anything with a guy is because there is so much homophobia towards man-on-man sex that this part of me has been repressed. Like I've tried watching guy-on-guy scenes in porn and they don't turn me on at all. But a hot guy in a male-female scene makes the scene hotter (just like a hot girl would). And I did get turned on flirting with some guys online while pretending to be a girl (the whole idea of two dudes being together doesn't turn me on. But I'm attracted to guys. If that makes sense. At the end of the day, I am attracted to girls too (and I prefer women, unless they are unattractive) and I'm not a cheater. So this homophobic hypocrisy being spewed by women is bull****.


Wait... What!? You do realize most of the vocal people against gays and bi-sexual men are MEN right? Lol, it's not our fault a lot of guys find bi-women "so fawking hawt", but are disgusted with bi-guys. Most women I find are rather accepting of it actually, while most of the men i've encountered have been homophobes. While I was with my boyfriend he would talk in distaste of gays and bi-males while I would tell him I didn't agree (we aren't together anymore, but this isn't the only reason). I'm not saying women are completely innocent, but you didn't even address your own gender. Everyone should be with who they love, and I wouldn't have any problem being with a bi-guy. Why the heck did you even bring up this point? It has nothing to do with what the OP said, because she never mentioned being ok with bi-women either...


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## paraboia (May 7, 2012)

mjkittredge said:


> What an amusing thread.
> 
> I can understand the laugh. Having a crush on someone for a while then all of a sudden realizing they aren't what you thought they were, thinking of all the time you spent thinking of them, not even realizing they were disqualified.
> 
> Well good thing you found out before you asked him out or started dating him. Could have been a real shocker part way into things.


What you mean by disqualified?

Basically she did no discover nothing, cause it was him that actually told her...
Seems pretty honest for me and shows a lot of personality, shows that the person was caring about op feelings. So the guy sounded he was in the deal, cause believe me for him to reveal that to her he was up to her big time. Not all do that , majority would not do it at least at beginning. So what changed if she had feelings about him ? How can love disappear in 1 minute? There was no love there or feelings i guess . She did not like him, believe i know what is to like someone and i know that strong power would overcome obstacles.

Is no prob a person has a phobia related whit sexuality, is no prob if a person does not imagine her self whit a bi-sexual person, or if she felt her mind invaded whit a alien sexual thought that goes out of the missionary position concept , is ok.

The thing is I had been looking this site for a while ago, I lost count how many threads I read, and so many people here full of self pitty whit serious prob finding someone just to have that moment of intimacy , romance etc. Probably some of you guys in this thread, and then 1 detail and you straight ditch that person over this 1 detail.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

paraboia said:


> is not surprising for me, there are people out there that would not date a person just for her color, so nothing really surprises me anymore, is the world i was born, guess i have 3 choices, hate it, embrace it or pretend it does not exist.


So what, if you're not attracted to someone for whatever reason, you should force yourself to be attracted to that person just to be PC?


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## shammie (Oct 31, 2012)

No one can force attraction to fit a PC agenda. So that's right out. Either I'm attracted, or I'm not. I can not be attracted, and I can say it's because of X, and you can tell me I'm a Xist - but that won't make me magically attracted.


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## mike285 (Aug 21, 2010)

I see what you mean. Well, I don't think it's funny, but I would be thrown off a little if I found out a girl I liked was bi, but I don't think it would bother me.


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## shammie (Oct 31, 2012)

If I found out a girl I liked was bi, I'd be delighted, but that's just me. And about 3/4's of the male gender.


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## Thinkerbell (Jul 8, 2012)

Paloma M said:


> I know right? WTF. I never said anywhere in my post that it's okay for girls to be bi but not guys. Random sh*t but okay.


Yep nothing to do with ANY post in the thread.

Go ahead and let your anger out, phoenix, but be careful who you call a bigot. I would LOVE to know YOUR preferences. You better be attracted to every 18+ old human or I shall call you a bigot. With your fake indignant *** diatribes.


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## Laith (Mar 20, 2009)

phoenixwright said:


> You conveniently justify bigotry under the cloak of "preferences".


So you must think homosexual men and women are extreme bigots as well being that they prefer same-sex and exclude the opposite gender completely.

We all have different preferences and that's perfectly fine, no matter how specific they may be.


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

No such thing as a bisexual male - you just moist as ****, moist towellete motha****a. No comin back from that **** - you are 100 percent moist.

Bisexual women? Oh hell yeah - thats some good ****.

Double standard? Yes. Give a motha****? No.


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

shammie said:


> If I found out a girl I liked was bi, I'd be delighted, but that's just me. And about 3/4's of the male gender.


+1


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## fingertips (Jan 11, 2009)

87wayz said:


> No such thing as a bisexual male - you just moist as ****, moist towellete motha****a. No comin back from that **** - you are 100 percent moist.
> 
> Bisexual women? Oh hell yeah - thats some good ****.
> 
> Double standard? Yes. Give a motha****? No.


get out.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

87wayz said:


> No such thing as a bisexual male - you just moist as ****, moist towellete motha****a. No comin back from that **** - you are 100 percent moist.
> 
> Bisexual women? Oh hell yeah - thats some good ****.
> 
> Double standard? Yes. Give a motha****? No.


Isn't this the typical stance that guys on the DL take towards homosexuality?


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## 50piecesteve (Feb 28, 2012)

man some of you take a chill pill....please.

Hey guess what?? Male Homosexuality grosses me out. But i believe they can do whatever the **** they wanna do!! Homophobic much??


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## Sam1911 (Dec 4, 2010)

no such thing as bisexual, he's gay . . . it's never gonna happen and if it does for some reason don't expect it to last


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

GD8 said:


> That's pretty ignorant,lol, every girl I've ever dated has been bi and it didn't matter to me at all (nor does it matter to like ANY other guy in the world) so I really don't get why it's such a big deal to girls if a guy is bi. Serious double standard right here.


You obviously don't understand because you are a guy. A lot of girls are turned off by guys who are bisexual and no I am not ignorant just because of the fact that I don't find bisexual men attractive.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

Sam1911 said:


> no such thing as bisexual, he's gay . . . it's never gonna happen and if it does for some reason don't expect it to last


Are you serious? Yes there IS such a thing as bisexual men..deal with it.


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## jc22 (Jul 5, 2012)

It's your preference. Nothing wrong at all  just don't form a hate group against bi's called the kkgay or something


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Sam1911 said:


> no such thing as bisexual, he's gay . . . it's never gonna happen and if it does for some reason don't expect it to last


This is an incredibly ignorant view. There _are_ people that like both genders.


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## T-Bone (Oct 1, 2010)

I hate it how if someone says they aren't into bisexuals they're somehow being homophobic or judgemental. It might be a trivial subject not worth mentioning to some, but some people CAN have preferences and it doesn't always have anything to do with hatred towards anyone else. Get the **** over yourselves already.


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

I can understand where you're coming from op, I would love to be pc about it say "oh it makes no difference" but of course it does. I don't feel like I need to defend my preference or choices on who I end up attracted to, if you're not into it you're not into it. OP doesn't like the idea of her crush hooking up with other guys, get over it.


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## JAkDy (Jan 23, 2011)

I feel I won't understand that. It seems quite common (being turned off by bi's) among women on average compared to men.

Personally I couldn't care less.
I find it weird though. You liked this person, had accepted them. Then they tell you one piece of information that doesn't actually change anything about them, and then all of a sudden they're weird and not attractive. Some may say masculinity thing, but if you had accepted them you didn't necessarily consider them too feminine.

I dunno, i don't get it. Maybe it's similar to how I find smoking a turn off pretty much straight away.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

JAkDy said:


> *Then they tell you one piece of information that doesn't actually change anything about them, and then all of a sudden they're weird and not attractive.*


If liking another mans junk in their poo hole doesn't change anything, well... Nevermind.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

JAkDy said:


> I feel I won't understand that. It seems quite common (being turned off by bi's) among women on average compared to men.
> 
> Personally I couldn't care less.
> I find it weird though. You liked this person, had accepted them. Then they tell you one piece of information that doesn't actually change anything about them, and then all of a sudden they're weird and not attractive. Some may say masculinity thing, but if you had accepted them you didn't necessarily consider them too feminine.
> ...


Yep it's just like you said. You like some chick until you find out she's a smoker. Same deal with the OP and bisexual guys.


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## JAkDy (Jan 23, 2011)

nubly said:


> Yep it's just like you said. You like some chick until you find out she's a smoker. Same deal with the OP and bisexual guys.


I dunno, I haven't met anybody who I already liked then didn't like cause of smoking (the one person who I did kinda like I remained liking a bit after finding out). It doesn't change my mind about somebody, but just the idea in general is a turnoff.
Though my reasoning for that I think is cause I don't like the idea of kissing a mouth that's had all the crap from smoking accumulate, seems unhygienic. Sort of the same as the idea of kissing somebody who never brushes their teeth or something.
So I do understand that for my thing actually.


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## GD8 (May 7, 2011)

Canucklehead said:


> If liking another mans junk in their poo hole doesn't change anything, well... Nevermind.


Maybe he doesn't like receiving, maybe he just likes his junk in other guys' poo holes lol. Or maybe he's sexually attracted to guys but has never actually had sex with one. It's that fact that turns her off, she thinks it's "unmanly" or something that he's attracted to other guys. That's why it's a double standard.


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## shammie (Oct 31, 2012)

Sam1911 said:


> no such thing as bisexual, he's gay . . . it's never gonna happen and if it does for some reason don't expect it to last


I'm guessing that someone who engages in sexual and romantic relationships with men and women would be bisexual. That is gay to you?


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## JAkDy (Jan 23, 2011)

Canucklehead said:


> If liking another mans junk in their poo hole doesn't change anything, well... Nevermind.


Well not really. Because he always liked that apparently, so it's not a change.

He's talked to her in a certain way, was with her in a certain way, enjoyed her in a certain way, and associated with her in a certain way. None of the things relevant to her change. Because after learning that information, he would still talk to her the same, be with her the same, enjoy her the same and associate with her the same.

Thus it's the exact same person who she liked previously. The fact she didn't know anything about it until she was told is testament o how irrelevant that information is to her.
It's as relevant to her as learning all of a sudden he dislikes grapefruit or something. It changes diddly squat.

I'm not trying to condemn it cause it's an attraction thing so you can't really help it. There's nothing wrong with having preferences.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Canucklehead said:


> If liking another mans junk in their poo hole doesn't change anything, well... Nevermind.


So what does that say about your opinion of women who like anal sex (they like mens' junk in their poo holes too)?


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

jc22 said:


> It's your preference. Nothing wrong at all  just don't form a hate group against bi's called the kkgay or something


:teeth kkgay lol


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

phoenixwright said:


> So what does that say about your opinion of women who like anal sex (they like mens' junk in their poo holes too)?


lol, you took my post seriously :teeth


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

The way that you describe anal sex is hilarious. I've had anal sex with a woman and went down on her through the rear entrance (I prefer cunnilingus. Vaginas offer more options to play with. But there is something hot about worshipping a woman's ***. Call me a perv but some women love it when their boyfriend does it for them and they love doing it for their man too. It's something people don't talk about in polite company.) If you keep clean down there (wash your ******* with baby wipes thoroughly or hose it down/use those Japanese *** washer thingies. Toilet paper doesn't cut it), there's no issue.


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

SomebodyWakeME said:


> I hate it how if someone says they aren't into bisexuals they're somehow being homophobic or judgemental. It might be a trivial subject not worth mentioning to some, but some people CAN have preferences and it doesn't always have anything to do with hatred towards anyone else. Get the **** over yourselves already.


+1 some people are always trying to make lifestyles seem generally ok, but instead of making us different, this tolerance just shows how we're all becoming the same; just like the same azz music we listen to and the sameness of science. Its more like giving something up than becoming tolerant - like I cant think what I think because I have to think what you think to show that I tolerate what you think

And tolerance, to the extent that we make it universal, is just about as intolerant as intolerance. Some folks just don't like some races - Im black, there are people who wont want to **** with me. Somebody else is gay - well that's cool but I dont **** with you like that. I tolerate it without agreeing with it, but some would say that is intolerant. Women are even supposed to be the same as men now even though sameness doesnt mean equal.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

The issue is that since there is a possibility that he could be unfaithful with a person of the same gender, could the OP handle that kind of risk?


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

millenniumman75 said:


> The issue is that since there is a possibility that he could be unfaithful with a person of the same gender, could the OP handle that kind of risk?


From what I hear from the people I know who are bisexual or have bisexual friends, there's really no greater risk of this than with straight couples.
They have the attraction to both genders, but it's not an uncontrollable urge that means they need both heterosexual and homosexual sex - just having one of them will do.


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## JAkDy (Jan 23, 2011)

millenniumman75 said:


> The issue is that since there is a possibility that he could be unfaithful with a person of the same gender, could the OP handle that kind of risk?


I dunno about that,

firstly people aren't that calculated about who they're attracted to. If they were everyone would figure out that really really attractive people are more likely to have more "suitors" than non-attractive and therefore not have a crush on attractive people. But it doesn't work like that.

Second, if you calculate the risk. A straight person has theoretically 45% of the population to look at (the other gender minus the 10% of gay). A bi person only gets to 50% (the other gender minus the 10% of gay plus the 10% of their own gender who are gay).
So it's only 5% difference to begin with. Then account for that like the OP, many women find it unattractive to be bi apparently. So you probably take away a certain percentage due to that.
So in the end it would work out roughly the same with little to no added risk (and possibly less risk depending on the last variable).

Also if you trust somebody to not cheat it's not an odds game. And sexual orientation wouldn't alter how much somebody trusts another.


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## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

I really can't see how being bi can work,it's maybe a cop out because there gay and don't want to admit it.


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## shammie (Oct 31, 2012)

I say again: Bi is sexual and romantic interest in men and women. 

It's not really that confusing. If you're hetro: you know that feeling of romantic or sexual attraction you can get for the opposite sex?

You know how you can get that feeling with different people of the opposite sex?

Ok - now apply it to also including members of the same sex.

Ta da.


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## JAkDy (Jan 23, 2011)

Rossy said:


> I really can't see how being bi can work,it's maybe a cop out because there gay and don't want to admit it.


We get it already.....you aren't smart enough to comprehend bisexuality.

However since you admit you're unable to comprehend it, just accept it's there and leave it at that (and don't come up with theories like the one you said, cause like we've already established, you aren't smart enough to comment on the matter).


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