# Irrational thought patterns ... or not?



## hhbecks (Jan 2, 2008)

There is just one thing about CBT that I haven't been able to get over yet. Why are my thoughts irrational? I know from many years of experience that if I am really quiet, people tend to think I'm strange or stupid. I know from how the way these people treat me. How do you convince yourself that these negative thoughts are irrational when you have evidence for them?


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## emeraldoceans (Sep 13, 2006)

Basically b/c you are not a mind reader. Where is the evidence for this? Have pple actually told you that they think you are strange or stupid? Even if this happens to be true for a few pple, im sure that the majority of pple dont say this to you. You can never know what pple are thinking about you, not all pple are judgmental towards others. 

I struggled with this same question for a while too but CBT is just about this and basically, unless you run around asking every person you know what they think of you and you being quiet then really, you never know for sure do you? 

Granted, some pple in this world can be cruel and say some horrible things, that is just life, and only goes to reveal their own insecurities but ive found in the last couple of years that most pple are basically good and not nearly as judgemental as we tend to think.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

CBT would not say that all your thoughts are irrational - that would be an overgeneralisation!  If you are hurting, there is a loss of balance. Finding the rational alternative means seeing balance.

Go to my post "Some CBT basics" in the therapy forum. Download the mood diary there - it has 'evidence for' columns and 'evidence against'. This is intended to find balance.

The idea is that SOME people may think, or even say, you are wierd, but not ALL. There are a few insensitive folks that would verbalise it. Maybe they even feel inferior at their own ability to seemingly get you interested in THEM... CBT says that maybe if a person doesnt like us, its THEIR wobbly thinking that causes it. The difficulty comes when you assume that cos one person said it, EVERYONE thinks it. As in the post above, thats mind reading. Feeling anxious or depressed convinces us that this negative prediction is true, and feelings are very powerful. CBT aims to chip away at that hold the emotions have - and it can take a long time to do it. This is because of something called Neural Plasticity. You may want to look it up.

Life has some bad in it. The problem with SA and depression is that we ONLY SEE THE BAD, and not the neutral and positive.

CBT IS ABOUT BALANCE - NOT GLOSSING OVER AND VIEWING THE WORLD THROUGH ROSE TINTED GLASSES.

Shyness and anxiety are not YOU. They may make you seem strange to some people because they affect your behaviour. But remember that shyness is only superimposed over who you really are. The CBT aims to gradually strip that away. Its ok to be shy, its ok to be anxious. Many people are shy yet still loved by friends and family.


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