# My parents are forcing me to get a new job at a place I do not like. What do I do?



## dgodfrey

My parents (mainly my father) is forcing me to get a new job at the mall across the street. To give you some context on my situation, I'm 19 and my parents are controlling me because they do not trust me to do anything on my own. This has always been happening. My father doesn't have confidence that I can do anything right.

Whenever something bad happens (like I make a mistake or something) he doesn't support me, he just gets mad. For example, I applied for a job several months ago and got rejected. I assume I got rejected because of my SA. I wasn't very confident at that interview, and I was pretty nervous.

It was my first interview and the first time I got rejected. My dad got furious. There wasn't an inch of sympathy for me. My dad actually called me into the kitchen just so he could "roast" me. What I mean by that is that he rambled on about the things he didn't like about me. I speculate that somehow me getting rejected is an assault on him and that he is a bad parent because of that (because I am his offspring and the manifestation of his parenting). So by roasting me (blaming my rejection on me alone) he was disowning me in a way.

Anyway, now my parents are forcing me to get a job. They even marked the interview date on their calender!

But they do not know that I have SA and I fear that I am going to fail this interview again and that my dad is going to get mad again. I wish I were a normal adult who didn't have to explain all my business to his parents. This is ridiculous!

What do you think about my parents and what they're doing to me? And no, I can't just move out.

The job I'm applying for is a stupid position at Macy's.


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## catfreak1991

Boy.. I can relate to this post. My parents used to think that getting a job is as simple as going out one day, applying and working the next day. It wasn't until they found out how bad my SA was that they decided to back-off. Macy's is definitely one of the better places to work if you absolutely have to do retail, but it isn't such a good job for someone with SA. 

Good SA jobs are going to use the following skills:
-Data-Entry
-Proofreading
-Inventory Management
-Software Skills (MS Office, etc.)

Are you in college or planning to go to college? Your options will be extremely limited with just a high school diploma (I'm assuming you have one).


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## dgodfrey

catfreak1991 said:


> Boy.. I can relate to this post. My parents used to think that getting a job is as simple as going out one day, applying and working the next day. It wasn't until they found out how bad my SA was that they decided to back-off. Macy's is definitely one of the better places to work if you absolutely have to do retail, but it isn't such a good job for someone with SA.
> 
> Good SA jobs are going to use the following skills:
> -Data-Entry
> -Proofreading
> -Inventory Management
> -Software Skills (MS Office, etc.)
> 
> Are you in college or planning to go to college? Your options will be extremely limited with just a high school diploma (I'm assuming you have one).


I'm planning on going to college but I'm not even sure that's going to happen to be honest. I'm into programming and it's what I want to do for a living.


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## GamesRUs

If I could go back a few decades, and be the age you are now, I would advise myself to not only be fully honest with my parents, but to find a professional and explain to them exactly how bad things are for you. If the person you talk to doesn't understand how bad it is for you, I'd find someone else and quick. 

I don't know about you, but my anxiety makes me dry heave. When 
Present with people, I always feel I'm holding my spine into an unnaturally petrified position. I try to keep from shaking and in doing so, my spine feels too much pressure. At the same time, I feel my blood leave every part of my body and jut into my head. My head pounds, throbs and develops a noticeable feaver to anyone who feels it. Over time, this will tear you down. Your body probably feels horribly sick when under anxiety. If you don't tackle it now, you risk unbelievable pain in your future. Some of the pain might not be truly reversible. 

Some might say to face your fears and get that job. They might be right. But I don't see things getting better for you in a retail job. Office jobs are seriously social as well. Don't let anyone fool you into believing otherwise. If you cannot deal with people, you need help. Please do yourself a favor and do not wait, do not pretend you can overcome this without serious help. You are young and have the possibility of a full and happy life. If you truly have SA, it will not go away without serious help. 

I don't judge your family. They want what is best for you and want you to be tough. They simply cannot absorb the severity of social anxiety. At your age, I didn't even get how badly it affected me. I'm only now, becoming even partially aware of the devastation it's had upon my life. I lied to myself for years and said I was strong, and got over it mostly. I was only fooling myself. Get help and give yourself a chance.


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## Morpheus

Your parent's controlling, excessively critical, and angry behavior is probably part of what gave you SAD to begin with. Your parents are wrong and you are justified in defying them, especially if you already have a different job.


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## Sync

Well all I can say is good luck, I've been looking for a job for the past two years.



dgodfrey said:


> My dad actually called me into the kitchen just so he could "roast" me. What I mean by that is that he rambled on about the things he didn't like about me. I speculate that somehow me getting rejected is an assault on him and that he is a bad parent because of that


Well I don't know how far you can or even want to push back against your dad, but whenever he does that you could ask him how making you feel bad is going to help the situation. He'll probably say that he was trying to help you and at that point you can go two ways. Either say "That doesn't help me at it only makes me feel like you don't care about me." or say "OK well let me help you out. You don't have the skills to be a good parent so you should have either never had kids, or given me up for adoption."


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