# Cutting (WARNING: possible triggers)



## Jenikyula gone mad (Nov 9, 2009)

Cutting...self mutilation, to feel a sense of relief, to take your mind off of things. It's not healthy, is it. Does it work? Why do people do it? Is it good to go to an institution that treats cutters exclusively?

Cutting hurts.


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## broseph (Jan 18, 2010)

I only did it once a few years ago. I felt great afterwards and it provided a lot of temporary relief. It takes your mind off the mental pain which at the time was much worse than the physical pain. I don't know what type of help is best but anyone who cuts themselves willfully needs to get some type of outside help. I definitely wish I had gotten it at the time.


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## Tweedy (Jan 10, 2010)

I don't cut but at the height of my depression I did the face-picking thing which is apparently a form of self-harm... picking at skin imperfections real or imagined and generally making them worse. I remember that when I was doing it I would completely zone out and lose all sense of time - a very peaceful feeling.

I think self harm is VERY common in people with depression/anxiety, so anyone who treats those conditions (psychologist/psychiatrist) would be familiar with treating self harm, I would imagine.


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## meh (Sep 18, 2009)

Jenikyula gone mad said:


> Cutting...self mutilation, to feel a sense of relief, to take your mind off of things. It's not healthy, is it. Does it work? Why do people do it? Is it good to go to an institution that treats cutters exclusively?
> 
> Cutting hurts.


Not it's not healthy. It can become an addiction, and the cuts can get infected. Cutting can lead into other types of self injury as well like burning or worse.
I cut, and it's very hard to stop. The longest I stopped for was a week.
It does distract my mind, and keep it busy. When I cut I don't feel like breaking down, and crying a lot. It takes away some of the sadness, anger, and mental pain. That is only temporary though so have to keep doing it which is bad. 
Cutting doesn't hurt physically, but the scars hurt mentally.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

I do cut sometimes. Maybe once a week I'll feel the need to. I'm not entirely sure why I do it. It helps with rushing thoughts and anxiety. If I don't do it for a while I tend to get pretty depressed and I can't think straight, and it feels like I'm going to explode or something. So thats basically why I do it. It helps with that feeling. I don't really feel that cutting 'hurts'. It makes me feel better and I find solace in being able to 'see' my pain through the blood, cuts and scars.


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## Melinda (Feb 5, 2009)

It's not healthy, no. I started cutting when I was 15, and have been recovering from it (I consider it an addiction) since the beginning of this year. People cut for a variety of reasons. Speaking for myself, it provided a quick outlet for my anxiety and depression, and gave me an "out" when I felt trapped by life and circumstances. Also, since I was raised to never show emotions outwardly, cutting helped me release all my feelings of self loathing without the trouble of having to display them to others.

As to whether it works: it does work in the sense that it _momentarily_ dulls whatever stress is going on--but there is a high price to pay. At the very least, you'll be forced to deal with an unsightly scar that often takes FOREVER to fade and may get infected. And there are more serious consequences too, such as if you accidentally (or purposefully) hit a vein, cut too deep and need stitches.

Besides this, it's ridiculously easy to get addicted. I now have more scars than I can count, making it virtually impossible for me to comfortably wear a bathing suit in public. It's a vicious cycle for those who deal with body image issues too--you feel bad about your body, cut, have a scar, and feel even worse so you have to keep cutting.

I'm not sure of any institutions that serve self harmers specifically, usually it's a by-product of another mental problem. It's been seen in people with depression, anxiety, anorexia, and PTSD, so it's not specific to one disorder.


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## Groundskeeper (Feb 6, 2010)

I did it years ago and at the time there was a sense of relief. It was a sick, vicious cycle, of hurting myself to feel good. I don't remember why I started in the first place or how I, thank God, was able to stop. There are scars are all over my upper arm (just above the bicep area) and I'm not comfortable wearing a sleeveless shirt at all.


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## letitrock (Jan 10, 2009)

Jenikyula gone mad said:


> Cutting...self mutilation, to feel a sense of relief, to take your mind off of things. It's not healthy, is it. Does it work? Why do people do it? Is it good to go to an institution that treats cutters exclusively?
> 
> Cutting hurts.


I think it works in a sense-causing yourself a high amount of pain takes your mind off the emotional pain you're feeling-it makes it more bearable-physical pain is just physical,-emotional pain is deeper


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## lonelyjew (Jan 20, 2010)

I never cut but I would dig my nails or sharp objects into myself(usually not to blood though), usually at the height of social anxiety or as "punishment" after bumbling through a social situation. The physical pain is relieving in a way, but I knew in high school that hurting myself wouldn't solve any of my problems so I guess that's why it never progressed further.


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## thewall (Feb 1, 2009)

I cut myself when self-hatred completely overwhelms me, which happens several times a week. I do it because it's a release and because I feel the need to punish myself.


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

i consider it an addiction for me. i still think about it regularly and have the urge sometimes, but that's pretty normal for me and i can generally control myself. the last time i did any self-injury was a couple weeks ago and the last time i cut was in september. going almost 6 months without cutting for me is absolutely amazing. i started doing it when i was 12.. how often and how damaging/far i would go would vary, sometimes i would have really really bad bouts/episodes that never end and other times i would go a few weeks without even thinking about it. last year was probably at its worst... which says a lot since i've had really bad cutting episodes years ago that i still have visible scars from. i had no control over it at times, for a lot of last year it looked like i had been attached by a vicious cat or something, cuts and bruises anywhere on my body that was covered by clothing.

blech, even just writing this is triggering for me (bad idea to post about it while naked too), i should stop and just submit reply now.


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## zomgz (Aug 17, 2009)

It feels like I deserve each cut. Especially after I go out somewhere, I feel like such an idiot. If I go too long without the release it feels like I've got too much pressure inside my body and I've got to let it out somehow. I'm really self conscious about people seeing my cuts and I try to hide them the best I can. Unfortunantly when it gets to summer time I don't know what I'm going to do. It can get up to 120 degrees sometimes, way too hot for a long shirt.


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## Akane (Jan 2, 2008)

It's not healthy and it solves nothing but physical pain can be far better than emotional pain when things get really bad. I never quite resorted to that but used my really good imagination to think about pain happening. I'd fall asleep imagining that all sorts of injuries were happening. It would actually lessen the times I spent crying and I'd fall asleep faster. Physical pain is so much easier to deal with.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

****Thread Advisory****
We need to make sure that there are no real descriptions of self-injury, which can be a trigger for those who have issues with this! :yes


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## HTF (Nov 15, 2009)

I definitely don't do it as much as i used to, but i do when i get depressed, like most its like a release. And i feel as though i deserve the punishment.


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## meh (Sep 18, 2009)

I really need other ways to release these emotions. I don't want to cut anymore, but it's all I can think of when I'm being crushed by a these thoughts, and emotions. I hate doing this I just feel even uglier, my legs hurt a lot when I wake up, and I can't even wear shorts anymore.
I'm so tired of this. Everyday is the same now.


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## Dying note (Mar 17, 2009)

SickPuppy, I'm really so sorry to hear you're having such a hard time right now. It would be terrible if something happened to you, even if you may not feel that would be the case right now. 

The longest I've gone is a little over six months without hurting myself. Most of the time it's used as a last resort, you know? I feel a lot of numbness, or I'll feel like I'll do something much worse if I don't. It's a way of stopping certain thoughts from going too far. I don't talk at all about how I feel, but I write it down in a journal. Though sometimes when things get really bad I can not find the words and can't explain. So I guess that in part leads to it.


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## Kittycat99 (Dec 26, 2012)

A lot of people cut I started cutting when I was in the 5th grade it was because I felt unloved by my parents they had just split up and I was dealing with death at the time I started by cutting my feet so no one could see it when I was in the 6th grade I had stopped for a little bit because I thought that I was the only one and that I was a freak for doing it but I had seen my friend cutting herself very badly in class when the teacher was out that made me feel better about it knowing that it is something that other people do too so when I started up again I felt so happy and better about things but I had gone through a very ruff patch of anxiety and depression to the poit I would think of killing myself and I had told my mom that I wanted to die and that I wanted to kill myself in the 7th grade it got bad my mom had moved very fare my dad had just gotten together with the mother of two girls who would bully me when I was in the 4th grade in 6th grade I started cutting on my legs a lot and my arms not so much but in the 7th grade it was more on my arms than anything now I'm in the 8th grade and I have told my mom and my brother about my cutting and my bad thoughts of killing myself they are both very sad and they don't get why I do it and all I know is that it makes me feel happy for a little bit longer I do cut deeper now and it's only my arms now it is very hard to cover up all the cuts from friends and teachers who see them and them making up some crazy story and I do not think anyone who is thinking about doing it and if they are new at it should do it because it is very hard to stop I can't go a week without doing it with out haveing thoughts about killing myself


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## Eschara (Dec 12, 2012)

Ive cut a lot before but I dealt with it by smoking pot. I'm not coming out saying smoke pot I mean there's other things you could do like get flesh colored tattoos. And kitty Kat you did the right thing telling your family. Let them comfort you and don't kill yourself your way too young. But I dont think old people should commit suicide either.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

I just get an urge to hurt myself sometimes. I usually scratch my skin until it bleeds, or something like that. I cut myself a few times lately and it just feels so nice, like my anxiety just rushes out when I do and the pain is just so pleasant. I always thought it was stupid when I heard people say stuff like that, but it really does feel great. The only trouble is I can tell they're gonna scar, so I'm gonna go back to scratching cause that didn't leave any marks.


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## No more Elysium (Oct 13, 2012)

^ BlackWinterBeauty
Awesome to hear! Congratz  Hope you can keep it up.

I've only done something similar to cutting once, and after that I swore I would never do something like that again. However, if the mental pain gets too much I sometimes go out running until I'm completely exhausted. That works wonders. I mean, if you are still able to think clearly you really haven't ran fast enough so you just go out again. Only problem is vomiting / fainting when I'm not near my home.


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## gof22 (Dec 25, 2012)

There have been times I wanted to but I don't like pain all that much and I am scared it will really hurt.


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## MindEraser (Nov 15, 2012)

I used to cut because I felt I deserved it, I felt it was a suitable punishment for being... Me. The physical pain does distract from the mental pain, temporarily. Is it healthy? No. I've had infected cuts that needed hospital treatment.


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## ohmyglobladyrainicorn (Dec 7, 2012)

Well it's been said that when you cut (if you've reached that point) your body releases endorphins which relieves stress and helps you cope.

I used to do it, but then stopped. When you've reached the point where the only way you can get rid of the pain inside by making yourself focus on the pain outside, it does becoming addicting. Like an upset child goes to their mother, self hamers just self harm.


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## RoarOfTheMemphisBelle (Aug 4, 2011)

I made superficial cuts along the skin of one arm a few months back, whilst in psychiatric care. 

I had only done this once before being sent to a loony bin - my meaning being that the urge was much stronger in the hospital.


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## The Quiet Girl (Aug 10, 2012)

I haven't cut in about a year, but it certainly isn't easy. For me, cutting was a release for my pain and frustration and anger. It was like a rush of adrenaline that reminded me I was alive, but only temporary. So I start to crave more, until next thing I know I have multiple scars. The first time, yeah, it hurts pretty bad. But after a few times, it feels good, and I guess for me at least, gave a small natural high.

But honestly, none of it was worth the scars. Some are just permanent. Made life at school a lot harder when I couldn't wear sleeves (which I did most of the time; even in summer) and people ask you all the time "Oh my god, how did you get that?" I usually said a cat scratched me, but everyone knew that was b/s. For a long time, the scars made me feel so ugly.

I have darker skin, so thankfully most have faded somewhat nicely, but there are still notable scars from years ago.

What I've learned: *The temporary release isn't worth the lifetime reminder of a really bad time in my life.*


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## YoukosoHitoriBocchi (Sep 22, 2012)

I used to cut when I was 10/11
I don't remember why I did it back then.

I just remember I liked it for whatever reason, 
and I've only had about two 'cutting sessions' since. 
I have to admit that if absolutely no one gave a crap about me then I would most likely still be doing it from time to time. I have people who are upset by it when I do, so I am lucky. But it is addicting, I can tell because I still get really strong urges to do it sometimes, especially when I'm really upset. I still don't know WHY exactly I liked it, it's silly, apparently.

Eh.


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## HollowPrince (Dec 9, 2012)

BlackWinterBeauty said:


> I'm proud to say I haven't cut in over a year, and the scars have been healing nicely. But it was something I did because I found that by causing myself physical pain it distracted me from the emotional torment I was feeling. And really, I would do anything to take my mind off that. Thankfully, I have never cut in a suicide attempt.
> I never got any help for it. I cut for 5 years before I did some inward reflection and learned how to cope with my depression. I guess in a way you could say it's all peachy now.


Good job really, congrats 



The Quiet Girl said:


> But honestly, none of it was worth the scars. Some are just permanent. Made life at school a lot harder when I couldn't wear sleeves (which I did most of the time; even in summer) and people ask you all the time "Oh my god, how did you get that?" I usually said a cat scratched me, but everyone knew that was b/s. For a long time, the scars made me feel so ugly.


Tattoo's  I've heard people getting 'em to hide scars, and i plan on doing the same sometime.


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## zomgz (Aug 17, 2009)

As a fellow cutter (but trying to quit) I don't recommend it at all. In fact I read something recently I'd like to share here. I'll just go ahead and post the whole thing.

"Before you make that first cut remember. You will enjoy this. You will find the blood and pain release addictive. Even though you think you can make a few tiny cuts that aren't deep and will heal easily, they will get deeper. They will scar. They will sometimes take months to heal. And years for the scars to fade. If you think you can limit the cutting to one area of your body think again. It will spread when you run out of skin.

Be prepared to withdraw from others and live in a constant state of shame. Even if you are the most honest person ever to live you will find yourself lying to the people you love. You will jerk back from your friends when they touch you as if their hands were dipped in poison. You will be terrified that they will feel something under the cloth of your shirt, or just because it just plain hurts so much to be touched.

Just wait for 10 cuts to turn into 100&#8230; Be prepared for your entire life to revolve around cutting, and thinking about cutting.

You won't be able to make it through a day without cutting. Next thing you know you're locked in a toilet cubical somewhere breaking open a scar with a sowing needle you keep in your purse for emergencies. When you get really desperate anything can be a cutting tool. Scissors, car keys, needles, even a pen. It doesn't really matter what if you need to cut bad enough you'll find something.

You will wish you never made that first cut because you will absolutely hate cutting; but at the same time you love it and cannot live without it.

If I would have read something like this 3 years ago when I made the first cut, would I have believed it? Would I have listened to it? No. But now that I have been cutting for about 3 years, I'm addicted.

Sure, hurting myself makes me feel better, but only for a little bit. Then, you get disgusted with yourself. Your body is covered in scars. They may fade, but you will always know that they were there.

You can say goodbye to the things you take for granted, like, short sleeved tops, shorts, even bathing suits. After awhile you will get tired of hiding out in a closed room and wearing long sleeved shirts.

You may think, _the cuts will only stay in one area of my body._ But that's *not* true. You can say all you want that it will, and you can promise yourself that it will be confined to the one area, but be prepared to break that promise to yourself. When you run out of skin, you will move to another part of your body.

I swore my cutting were going to stay on my wrist, but it moved to my left arm, then my thighs, then my ankles, then my other arm, and my hips and belly.
If you hurt yourself, it *WILL* take over your life.

Do yourself a favor, and don't hurt yourself. You will be giving up a lot. At first, you may feel better, but then the relief you feel starts to diminish. So you cut deeper, burn longer, or hit harder. Then it gets worse and worse. It just goes downhill.

You may think, _I can control it! It's the only pain I can control._ Not for long. It will start to control you. You *WILL* become addicted. You won't be able to go too long without feeling like you need to hurt yourself. It will start to call to you. You won't be able to avoid it.
Please, think before you make that first cut. Don't do it. It's not worth it."


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

Monroee said:


> I do cut sometimes. Maybe once a week I'll feel the need to. I'm not entirely sure why I do it. It helps with rushing thoughts and anxiety. If I don't do it for a while I tend to get pretty depressed and I can't think straight, and it feels like I'm going to explode or something. So thats basically why I do it. It helps with that feeling. I don't really feel that cutting 'hurts'. It makes me feel better and I find solace in being able to 'see' my pain through the blood, cuts and scars.


I wrote this more than 2 years ago. I had become addicted over the next year after that. And I'm happy to say I beat the addiction and have been self-injury free for very much over a year.

I find it kind of disappointing that a therapist had never been able to help me with it. It was something I had to fight and overcome on my own.

zomgz - Very good post. I'm sorry that you're addicted, and I hope that you can fight through it and come out the other side. I really hope people will read your post and heed the warning, because all you say is unfortunately true.


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## apersonintheory (Nov 26, 2012)

I've thought about it to help with my depression but I've never tried it. I would think the pain would be like a tremendous release and something to focus on.


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## DesertStar91 (Feb 1, 2012)

I cut myself sometimes because I think I am total idiot for the stuff I do and say. I am sick of people putting me down and acting like I am so stupid sometimes. Almost everybody does it and I am starting to believe I am not saying or doing anything dumb. I think I am just being stupid by thinking that and cutting myself, so it's gotta stop. I am afraid if I tell the doctor, he'll probably put me in a mental hospital like he always does and then it won't do anything. Or, perhaps I need to go.


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## BladeRunnerB26354 (Apr 12, 2012)

I used to cut a lot, 10 years ago and hadn't since then, but I've cut twice this year, the last time being 23rd of December as Christmas was really worsening my depression.


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## Intergalactic Captain (Dec 6, 2012)

Never myself... Always went for punching walls - A few broken bones take a few weeks to heal, along with searing physical pain when your mind is wandering...

My best friend used to, though... Didn't know the extent until relatively recently, and it blows my mind. I guess I can understand the need to supplant emotional pain with physical - but mine was always indirect - only moved purely to intent when the exhilleration of my other hobbies (you're legally an adult when you're 18) began to fade... But for her...

...Picked up the phone and made a call one day years ago... Don't know what made me do it, thank god I did, but long story short it was gonna be the last cut... Don't know what happened exactly, but it all but ended then and there... This one's touchy for me, and the memories are still emerging to piece it all together...

So - I guess I don't have anything to say as a cutter... But if you know someone that does - Please, for the love of god, don't write them off... You may not be able to understand them - You don't need to... You may not be able to relate to them - You don't need to... You may not think you can help them - You can. I'm not saying that you're the instant cure - I'm sure any cutter here would agree... But if you even have an inkling of what's going on, BE THERE FOR THEM - Please...

...You may think you can't help, that your role is insignifigant... But if you're close enough to someone who finds the need to cut - You're more than close enough to make a difference in their life...


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