# is it better to force yourself to be with company?



## convincingsmile (Jun 27, 2005)

hi everyone.

two musicians i am really into are giving free concerts on july 4th in battery park this wknd. the thing is, since i've been seeing a therapist and starting dealing with repressed memories / emotions, i've sort of been hiding out from my friends, who have not heard from me at all for a few months. that said, i still really really want to go. and i know my friends are still thinking of me, but it's just so taxing to be with them now. i dunno why, i think i just function better around strangers lately, you know? b/c they have no real expectations of you. 

well anyway, i still really really want to go to this concert. (any nyc-ers out there going? stephen malkmus and yo la tengo are performing; it's gonna be awesome.) 

so my question is, should i suck it up and ask a friend to go with me? i could. it would just be really stressful and a big deal for me. i'm kind of wondering if i wouldn't enjoy it better solo. 

what do you think would be a better goal to set: going to a concert with a friend, or going to a concert all by yourself?

looking forward to your comments. 

-c.s.


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## SunLite (Jan 4, 2005)

Going with a friend is always better. It gives you two something to talk about after and like your going with a friend. The more you put yourself out socially the better you'll be so long as you don't like totally wander away from your comfort zone. Go with a friend. You only have so much to gain if you do.


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## Anxiety75 (Feb 10, 2004)

Sometimes when I do things I just have to have a friend to go and sort of support me. Others times i just don't want somebody else i know right there looking over my shoulder. If you really feel the need to ask a friend then do so. If you'd enjoy it more on your own, go for it! :banana


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## penguin (Feb 6, 2005)

Friends can be a great support, but, sometimes you have to rely only on yourself. 

If you think you will find it difficult, go by yourself to this event. That way, you always remain in control and you don't have to worry about the other person; there's also less pressure on you and that is very important during your recovery and healing. "Baby steps" afterall.

Once you start to feel better in yourself, you can always call up a friend and do something far less stressful to start off with - such as going for a coffee. 

If a friend sees you there and you have to deal with the "why didn't you come with us!" questions, you can always try and explain that you needed to do this by yourself.

Go and have fabulous time! :banana


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## convincingsmile (Jun 27, 2005)

penguin, i took your advice. :thanks 

this morning i jumped out of bed, excited and ready to get started with my day. two hours later, i jumped right back in, and rolled up into a little ball. i was scared and totally sure that i was never going to make it. 

well, i just got back.  and the concert was great. i even forced myself all the way into the pit.  i missed steve malkmus, cause i was too busy having a panic attack, lol. but i caught a couple songs and yo la tengo was fabulous. and then i bought a t-shirt. hehe.

i think i feel good about the fact that even though i don't feel well enough to spend time with company, i take good care of myself and make sure that i still get out there and do fun things.

so thanks for the advice! about to collapse now... :fall


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