# i don't have friends in school and it hurts



## silentwallflower (Sep 7, 2017)

I am a senior (female) , and I still haven't made a group of friends in my school. 
I used to have a few friends in middle school, but i went to a high school not knowing anyone. On the first day, everyone was already gushing over the popular girl. I managed to end up with three girls, but they were mean and made comments on how awkward I am. So they eventually got sick of me after days, and ditched me. I occasionally made efforts to join them again, but it never worked out after a few days. I don't know any of their inside jokes, wasn't invited, were pitying me, and eventually got ignored again.
I was alone until this other girl had no friends too. Until the end of Year 1, she left to study abroad and left me alone here, friendless again. 
Meanwhile, it still hurts until today, because my middle school friends have went on without me, they still keep in touch, and seem to have forgotten me, like I have never existed. It hurts seeing pictures of them have fun without me, because they say it's too far to travel to come to meet me (1 hour's drive). 
Halfway through Year 2, an old friend actually came into my life again. We both made sacrifices to visit because of distance, we had phone calls, and met up as much as we could. I lost her a few days ago in an argument, because she offended me about my social anxiety and i lashed out at her about her own personal problems. 
In school, two girls occasionally talk to me, but it is so obvious that they are using me. One of them literally said to my face that "XXX is not here today, so I'm going to sit with you." and that "I missed hanging out with you!" but she vanished as soon as XXX was back from vacation, and never showed up until the next time. The other one lost some friends due to friendship drama, so she only hangs out with me after the incident. Both of them has their group of friends, it's not like I'm even part of them...just people who use me.
I used to have a boyfriend, but he only used me. And he hurt me, too.
My acquaintances also only talk to me when no one else is around. Like I'm invisible until they need me as temporary entertainment. It hurts so much. I was never invited to parties, never included in any outings. I'm so invisible.
I just never belonged to this school. I have no support system, not even my counsellor. 
I got bullied and picked on when i joined a club, and entirely ignored for the second one, so i tried joining clubs and it didn't work out.
I am so hurt that even my relatives judge me for having no social life.
I feel so terrible about myself and it feels like i can never have friends again. The only trusty friend has told me she doesn't want me in her circle after that argument, and she's still my friend, but not as close anymore. In school, it's like occasionally being the "last choice" to people is worse than not talking to anyone. Because feeling left out hurts so badly. Feeling like they're using you. 
I'm just being me, I'm the quiet girl, I don't speak up often, but other than that why don't people like me? 
Could I get some reassurance? I just started this forum because i needed to let this out. It's been almost 3 years in this unyielding isolation. I want to be like the normal teenagers, with their groups of friends, so i won't be judged for being a loner anymore.


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## silentwallflower (Sep 7, 2017)

why is no one replying me here? ((


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## silentwallflower (Sep 7, 2017)

plx reply me sorry for being annoying but i don't want to be ignored online too :<


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## silentwallflower (Sep 7, 2017)

*nvm there's 2 repeated threads, ignore one of them i guess, but pls reply  i sound so despo and annoying i'm sorry*


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## AntiguanGiant (Aug 8, 2017)

silentwallflower said:


> *nvm there's 2 repeated threads, ignore one of them i guess, but pls reply  i sound so despo and annoying i'm sorry*


Ahah if you don't get respect then take it homiie lmao. There's no shame in doing all you can to get help when needed.


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## 629753 (Apr 7, 2015)

Listen to this song


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## tylerthecreator (Sep 8, 2017)

Do you have any siblings? Maybe you could try tagging along with his/her friends? I did that, and it worked.


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## Skrub (Jun 27, 2016)

I kind of had less and less friends each year of high school but I didn't really care most of the time. I liked being on my own senior year because I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. Even though I wasn't very close to anyone, I got along with a lot of people. Your school sounds pretty terrible. The people there sound kind of heartless. One way of dealing with this is to make a friend or two outside of school. Join a team or take some kind of group class. You'll be around people with similar interests and there's a higher chance of meeting people that you like. Another option is to just ignore everyone else and do your own thing. You just have to get through this one year and then you'll never see any of these people again. I think you should at least try one more time to make things better between you and the friend you had an argument with. Make it heartfelt and show her that you regret it. Good luck
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ghossts (Mar 6, 2014)

Didn't have friends at school. And still don't have any friends in real life (I have a few friends online). Went through uni meeting new people but they slowly drifted away while those people got closer. Now the people who do want to see me only ask me out cause they need money. None of the people I know in real life actually like me. I don't blame them though.


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

@silentwallflower

i would have posed this in the frustration forum because it has more activity than other boards.


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## yugex (Sep 21, 2016)

Im also a senior in HS and I do have a few friends but we rarely talk so were not close. I always look at my loneliness in good light: less friends = less drama. I sat alone in lunch for my freshmen year and eventually people that I took classes with invited me over to their table, they even told me that I didnt have to say anything if I didnt want to, so that was kind of them. If you want to talk I can send u my skype or smething if youd like.


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## silentwallflower (Sep 7, 2017)

@versikk yeah i know i was new to the forum and didn't see that thread until recently oops.


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## silentwallflower (Sep 7, 2017)

@Skrub heyy thanks for the rly good advice. i did make it up with her.  i guess she's my only friend i can consider an actual friend now. bc i thought i had made 2 other friends in school, but it turns out they were only using me in a way. They only used me for partners as they don't really fit in with the class, but they have friends from other classes. They made it clear that i'm only their partner in class. right when i thought i could start being friends with them, i don't even feel like i have the chance. yeah. about the clubs and stuff, i used to be bullied thr so i quit and don't intend to rejoin i guess. sigh, i guess this is how my sa developed. :/


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## silentwallflower (Sep 7, 2017)

@tylerthecreator i am an only child.


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

silentwallflower said:


> @versikk yeah i know i was new to the forum and didn't see that thread until recently oops.


It was just a heads up, no worries


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## Ms kim (May 15, 2017)

I really hope that you are not spending all your time worried about how no one wants to be friends with you, to the point where your grades are suffering?


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## Ms kim (May 15, 2017)

Ghossts said:


> Didn't have friends at school. And still don't have any friends in real life (I have a few friends online). Went through uni meeting new people but they slowly drifted away while those people got closer. Now the people who do want to see me only ask me out cause they need money. None of the people I know in real life actually like me. I don't blame them though.


Um...I was wondering, can we hang out? I'm not asking because I want money. I just think...you're a nice person.


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