# Girls, do I sound like the type of guy that you'd want to marry or have as a boyfrien



## freakingout (Feb 6, 2010)

d?

I'm 25 years old, I'm a virgin(Though I am also waiting till I'm married for sex).I've never had a girlfriend. I've never even been kissed by a girl. I'm not even sure if girls really notice me as a guy that they'd want. So yeah, I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. I'm about 5'7" feet tall. I have dirty blond medium hair(Though I would like grow my hair back down to my shoulders again), no disfiguring scars or anything like that. I'm at a normal weight. around 135 pounds.

I'm a Christian, I have relationship based faith in God and not one based on rules.

I'm in school going for computer science(programming). I eventually want to make video games. I tend to play video games, watch anime, play Magic: The Gathering and listen to music(Mostly different types of metal). So basically what you'd expect as a typical geek.

I do have some other interests like psychology, culture, mythology, science, fake sci-fi science like string theory, parallel universes. Really, I do have a lot of interests I just choose to take focus on God, programming, video games and anime.

Personality wise, I'm nice, loyal, sincere, trusting, honest, smart. I'm pretty shy until I start to feel combatable around the people I'm around. Even then I still like to stay in smaller groups without too much noise. I do have some confidence. Though I also tend to get lonely a lot right now. But then again, I'm also the type of guy that only needs a few friends to be happy.

I'm a mix of a ISFP and ISFJ with the ISFP being more dominate.

ISFP - link 
ISFJ - link

If I'm around other people that I'd want to be around, I'd do some more stuff like bowling, mini golf, going to the movies, eating out with them. With a girl, I'd probably also like to goto a quiet area in a park where there's a lot shade and a river around and just talk to her about deep stuff like stuff about God or really anything that comes. Something like doing archery sounds like it would be fun. Really, I'm more open to doing other things when I'm with other people.


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

Nope. Just because
>waiting till marriage for sex
>Christian


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## jc90 (Jun 24, 2013)

Amphoteric said:


> Nope. Just because
> >waiting till marriage for sex
> >Christian


Seriously...? So if a man was the greatest you had ever met and made you feel happy, you wouldn't marry him because he's never had sex?


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## Paperboy (Jun 24, 2013)

jc90 said:


> Seriously...? So if a man was the greatest you had ever met and made you feel happy, you wouldn't marry him because he's never had sex?


How can he be great if he never had sex ? :roll


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## Steinerz (Jul 15, 2013)

jc90 said:


> Seriously...? So if a man was the greatest you had ever met and made you feel happy, you wouldn't marry him because he's never had sex?


I think it's more about the waiting for sex because of his religion excuse.


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

jc90 said:


> Seriously...? So if a man was the greatest you had ever met and made you feel happy, you wouldn't marry him because he's never had sex?


I wouldn't marry him because he didn't want to act on the mutual lust without a legal, or even worse, religious approval for it.


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## lolly28 (Sep 28, 2011)

No. But everyone has different 'types and tastes'


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## Greenleaf62 (Aug 1, 2013)

Wow, you sound like a great guy. The only thing is I don't think I don't really like when guys grow their hair out.


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## Der Ubermensch (Oct 30, 2012)

Amphoteric said:


> I wouldn't marry him because he didn't want to act on the mutual lust without a legal, or even worse, religious approval for it.


Where's that damn like button when you need it ?


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## Memory (Mar 4, 2011)

You sound like the type of guy any Christian girl would want. Maybe see if there's a singles group/young adult group at your church?
I plan to wait until marriage and to not smoke/drink/do drugs. I would probably date you, if you weren't so much older of course. xD


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## alenclaud (Mar 31, 2013)

Nice guys finish last.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Most of that sounds okay to me except the Christian part (and even then I guess it depends on the views you hold), and to be honest I'd need you to share a few more interests/hobbies with me. And to be even more honest, there'd probably never be any sex, period. ops

Quiet, rather slightly built geeky guy is fine to me. (But no, this isn't any sort of offer or anything. :um )


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## freakingout (Feb 6, 2010)

SteinerOfThule said:


> I think it's more about the waiting for sex because of his religion excuse.


I'm not using it as a excuse. I actually do see the reasons why it's better to wait even without being told to.


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## Steinerz (Jul 15, 2013)

freakingout said:


> I'm not using it as a excuse. I actually do see the reasons why it's better to wait even without being told to.


Sure I can see the reasons but would your partner want to? Would you hold off if a chick asked you to bang her right there and then? Some people are not as open-minded to people's reasons. You could just end up risking yourself being forever alone.


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## freakingout (Feb 6, 2010)

SteinerOfThule said:


> Would you hold off if a chick asked you to bang her right there and then?


I'd probably need someone willing to wait. I doubt, I could hold a girlfriend off if I had too. I mean, I am still a guy.


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## Raynic781 (Feb 8, 2013)

You play video games!? Sure, why not!


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## freakingout (Feb 6, 2010)

Yeah, still not having any luck...


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## dreamloss (Oct 28, 2013)

I would, you seem like an intelligent interesting person who can think for themselves. And I like dudes with long hair. And I like metal a lot. I don't care about the sex thing if person has a good personality and all. The only problem is I'd probably feel intimidated since you might not like me or look down on me since I am not religious and I drink and do drugs .


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## freakingout (Feb 6, 2010)

dreamloss said:


> I would, you seem like an intelligent interesting person who can think for themselves. And I like dudes with long hair. And I like metal a lot. I don't care about the sex thing if person has a good personality and all. The only problem is I'd probably feel intimidated since you might not like me or look down on me since I am not religious and I drink and do drugs .


You don't have to worry about me looking down at you, you're a just a normal person like I am. ^_^


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

You remind me a lot of myself OP, was raised very religious, never did drink, smoke, nor do drugs either. Waiting for the right person for adult relations. What's messed up is I'm looked down upon for being evidently too close minded, so perhaps it's best to keep these things to yourself unless they inquire. I could be wrong though, but today's society as a whole is rather ironically judgmental towards "boring goody two-shoes" people. At least I witness this among our generation in my everyday life. :sus


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## nrelax11 (Jun 9, 2013)

I have somewhat an issue with these type of threads. Well not an issue, but don't people know that everyone has a different type and you can't base someone liking you on description alone. Well unsless your going on a dating site, but you still meet the person. You just need to get out there and try and meet girls. Yupp and that's hard with anxiety xD


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## Raeden (Feb 8, 2013)

Malek said:


> I could be wrong though, but today's society as a whole is rather ironically judgmental towards "boring goody two-shoes" people. At least I witness this among our generation in my everyday life. :sus


Yeah, I'm such a kill-joy and I'm not even worth talking to simply because I don't do drugs and have casual sex on the weekends. It's not even like I'm religious; I'm just trying to be somewhat responsible. >.>;


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## kaliikween (Nov 2, 2013)

Malek said:


> You remind me a lot of myself OP, was raised very religious, never did drink, smoke, nor do drugs either. Waiting for the right person for adult relations. What's messed up is I'm looked down upon for being evidently too close minded, so perhaps it's best to keep these things to yourself unless they inquire. I could be wrong though, but today's society as a whole is rather ironically judgmental towards "boring goody two-shoes" people. At least I witness this among our generation in my everyday life. :sus


You are right in the sense that SOME people do look down upon the "goody two shoes" type (as you put it). On the other hand, there are just as many people who think negatively about those who smoke, drink and do more radical things. BUT as we all know everyone in the world has different opinions and feelings towards all topics and subjects. We relate and agree with some people, while we cannot even fathom where others are coming from. With that being said, if you dont voice your own opinions or ask questions then you dont give the others like you the opportunity to say, "Hey I agree!" (or whatever it is they want to say).

So in my opinion, even though you may not be EVERY girls type, there are still SO many out there who you are just perfect for!! You have so many wonderful qualities that are extremely hard to come by nowadays. And especially the fact that you have your strong values, but dont look down on others who dont hold the same ones, shows how open minded and kind you are. That will really help open your options to help you get someone who you can find happiness with.:]


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

kaliikween said:


> You are right in the sense that SOME people do look down upon the "goody two shoes" type (as you put it). On the other hand, there are just as many people who think negatively about those who smoke, drink and do more radical things. BUT as we all know everyone in the world has different opinions and feelings towards all topics and subjects. We relate and agree with some people, while we cannot even fathom where others are coming from. With that being said, if you dont voice your own opinions or ask questions then you dont give the others like you the opportunity to say, "Hey I agree!" (or whatever it is they want to say).
> 
> So in my opinion, even though you may not be EVERY girls type, there are still SO many out there who you are just perfect for!! You have so many wonderful qualities that are extremely hard to come by nowadays. And especially the fact that you have your strong values, but dont look down on others who dont hold the same ones, shows how open minded and kind you are. That will really help open your options to help you get someone who you can find happiness with.:]


Thanks, I sadly need to be reminded this sometimes, I was just generalizing my biased opinion about the people I interact with in my life around my age. I'm aware I shouldn't make assumptions on account I don't really meet new people very often in my everyday life, you're quite right. Sorry. Had a meh day today, so it's impaired my ability to remain optimistic apparently at the moment, heh.


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

Amphoteric said:


> I wouldn't marry him because he didn't want to act on the mutual lust without a legal, or even worse, religious approval for it.


I think you're confused about this idea of needing religious approval. People who subject themselves to these rules also believe the rules are good. None of us can deny that premarital sex creates unwanted pregnancies and STD's. Go to Brazil and see abandoned children living on the streets like dogs.

My point is that it's not fair to characterize it as people who just blindly require approval from their religion to do things they want to do. It's more accurate to say that it's people who want to do the right thing even if it requires some personal sacrifice.

For this, the OP should be applauded. We live in a world where most people just care about their own pleasure without caring if it hurts anyone or society.

If you're married or in a committed relationship wouldn't you appreciate a man who is willing to abstain from sex when he thinks it's morally wrong--like cheating? I'm pretty sure you would regret marrying a man who just acts on his lusts.


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

AngelClare said:


> I think you're confused about this idea of needing religious approval. People who subject themselves to these rules also believe the rules are good. None of us can deny that premarital sex creates unwanted pregnancies and STD's. Go to Brazil and see abandoned children living on the streets like dogs.
> 
> My point is that it's not fair to characterize it as people who just blindly require approval from their religion to do things they want to do. It's more accurate to say that it's people who want to do the right thing even if it requires some personal sacrifice.
> 
> ...


Not everyone having premarital sex are disease ridden mothers/fathers. Believe it or not, unwanted pregnancies and STDs can be a part of the sexual life of married people, too. 
Personally I would not get involved with someone who thinks it's morally wrong to have sex without marriage; That's just way too an absurd way to think.


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

AngelClare said:


> I think you're confused about this idea of needing religious approval. People who subject themselves to these rules also believe the rules are good. None of us can deny that premarital sex creates unwanted pregnancies and STD's. Go to Brazil and see abandoned children living on the streets like dogs.
> 
> My point is that it's not fair to characterize it as people who just blindly require approval from their religion to do things they want to do. It's more accurate to say that it's people who want to do the right thing even if it requires some personal sacrifice.
> 
> ...


Personally, I'm agnostic so I'd be willing to date both someone who's an atheist or religious, but what's wrong with wanting to date like minded people? Many atheists don't want to be with Christians and many Christians don't want to be with atheists. That's fine. It doesn't necessarily mean you're judgmental towards someone's beliefs, but dating someone with such a different worldview is obviously a huge challenge.

I'm not criticising you or the OP, but there's a huge difference between having tons of casual sex (which is likely to bring forth STDs as you said) and having sex with someone you're in an unmarried relationship with. Therefore, waiting for marriage is almost always a religious reason. And that's fine, but if you don't want to wait until marriage, why should you suffer because of someone else's beliefs?

I really don't understand why Amphoteric got so much criticism for saying that. Seems perfectly reasonable in my opinion.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

The OP made the same thread in separate subforums.


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

Amphoteric said:


> Personally I would not get involved with someone who thinks it's morally wrong to have sex without marriage; That's just way too an absurd way to think.


Again, it's the way you choose to frame it. You wouldn't want to marry someone who wants to find one woman he loves, marry her and only be with her for as long they live?

It's not just that these people think that sex before marriage is "wrong" it's that they believe in monogamy. They want to find one person they love and only be with that person. That's really romantic. But you're making it sound so backward.

And if you're a man it takes a great deal of strength of character to resist your urges while waiting for your future wife.

Character, commitment, loyalty -- you want no part of that in a husband?


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

AngelClare said:


> Again, it's the way you choose to frame it. You wouldn't want to marry someone who wants to find one woman he loves, marry her and only be with her for as long they live?
> 
> It's not just that these people think that sex before marriage is "wrong" it's that they believe in monogamy. They want to find one person they love and only be with that person. That's really romantic. But you're making it sound so backward.
> 
> ...


I believe in monogamy. I have found one person I love, and I only want to be with that person, and my partner is the same. We did not need marriage for this.


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

Amphoteric said:


> I believe in monogamy. I have found one person I love, and I only want to be with that person, and my partner is the same. We did not need marriage for this.


Well, I assume that means you would happily date someone who would only have sex with you once you both felt that you wanted to be together for the rest of your life.

That's basically what marriage is. The only difference is that you make a formal declaration of this commitment to your community.

And a guy like the OP who has never had sex with a woman because he is waiting for that woman, wouldn't he be more likely to have the character you need to keep a commitment like that? It's not an easy commitment for men to keep.


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

AngelClare said:


> Well, I assume that means you would happily date someone who would only have sex with you once you both felt that you wanted to be together for the rest of your life.
> 
> That's basically what marriage is. The only difference is that you make a formal declaration of this commitment to your community.
> 
> And a guy like the OP who has never had sex with a woman because he is waiting for that woman, wouldn't he be more likely to have the character you need to keep a commitment like that? It's not an easy commitment for men to keep.


It's just as an easy/difficult commitment for men as it is for women; but not everyone is cut out for it, sure.

I don't know if I am going to spend the rest of my life now with the same person, and quite honestly, no one can know that for sure. Even if someone gets married, it is no guarantee that the relationship and commitment formed then will be lifelong. 
Wanting that is one thing, but it actually happening is another.

If someone waits till marriage to have sex, it doesn't mean that they would want to then forward only want to have sex with their spouse. People change, their opinions and possibly even morals change. There are no guarantees.


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## inclaric (Nov 2, 2013)

I had this lady friend, who was proud of her virginity, she had sex until wedding night ....and was hell, both for her and her partner, they found they where very different on what they liked and found "appropriate" for each other. They remain married, but they have separate partners. Really an horrible "marriage".


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## Bluestar29 (Oct 26, 2013)

inclaric said:


> I had this lady friend, who was proud of her virginity, she had sex until wedding night ....and was hell, both for her and her partner, they found they where very different on what they liked and found "appropriate" for each other. They remain married, but they have separate partners. Really an horrible "marriage".


A friend of my grandma's barber who happen to be the baker's daughter that when to school with my sister had the same thing happen to him.


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## Mindful Eyes (Dec 16, 2011)

Bluestar29 said:


> A friend of my grandma's barber who happen to be the baker's daughter that when to school with my sister had the same thing happen to him.


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## MoonlitMadness (Mar 11, 2013)

I'm not a Christian but I'd marry you hehe!! I really like the idea of waiting for sex before you get married. And I am trying to quit drinking. I never smoke or do drugs. I sometimes really wish I could believe in God and had a religion, I think it would give me a greater purpose in life.. But yeah you sound cool to me.


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## Gizamalukeix (Sep 16, 2012)

jc90 said:


> Seriously...? So if a man was the greatest you had ever met and made you feel happy, you wouldn't marry him because he's never had sex?


Lame, huh.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I wouldn't marry him either. You need to try him out before committing.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

komorikun said:


> I wouldn't marry him either. You need to try him out before committing.


Makes sense to prefer to test drive your eligible husband, yet I mean, how bad could someone be in bed, is sex really that difficult? It's not like there's a really high learning curve here, or perhaps I'm mistaken? :sus


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Malek said:


> Makes sense to prefer to test drive your eligible husband, yet I mean, how bad could someone be in bed, is sex really that difficult? It's not like there's a really high learning curve here, or perhaps I'm mistaken? :sus


In many cases it's not so much that they _can't_ do whatever. It's that they _don't want to_.

Like they might have a low sex drive and only want sex once a month. Or they might orgasm in 2 minutes and be disinterested in doing an encore. Or they will only do oral sex once in a blue moon because they are lazy or think it's icky. Or the only position they like is the one you hate.


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

komorikun said:


> In many cases it's not so much that they _can't_ do whatever. It's that they _don't want to_.
> 
> Like they might have a low sex drive and only want sex once a month. Or they might orgasm in 2 minutes and be disinterested in doing an encore. Or they will only do oral sex once in a blue moon because they are lazy or think it's icky. Or the only position they like is the one you hate.


This is a valid point. Sexual compatibility really isn't something that you could know, eh, "beforehand". People might have their thoughts about what their sexual preferences are before they have had sex, but most of that stuff is really learned only "in action".


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

So I go back a long way on this forum. Am I wrong, OP, that you are the same "freaking out" that posted multiple "do I have HIV" threads and such a few years back? Just wanna know if this is the same person?


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## freakingout (Feb 6, 2010)

WineKitty said:


> So I go back a long way on this forum. Am I wrong, OP, that you are the same "freaking out" that posted multiple "do I have HIV" threads and such a few years back? Just wanna know if this is the same person?


Yeah, I'm the same guy. Those fears just for the most part died out.


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## freakingout (Feb 6, 2010)

Do I still have a chance with a girl if she's rejected me once, but she really hasn't seen the real me?

Basically, I come off as shy/quiet and I've been rejected before because I more or less creped her out. Which was mostly because I tend to come off as shy/quiet, so I just wondering if she saw me around my friends or something where I'm more social and more myself. Would she give me another chance?


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Taking this as it is, and assuming everything you've not mentioned is fine for me, then this is my response:

There are parts of this that appeal to me and parts that don't, and parts that I'd rather were the opposite but aren't too big a deal, necessarily depending on how you feel about someone doing the opposite.

I've bolded the bits I liked, put in italics the bits I'm not too keen on, and everything else I'm neutral about.



> I'm 25 years old, I'm a virgin(Though I am also waiting till I'm married for sex).I've never had a girlfriend. I've never even been kissed by a girl. I'm not even sure if girls really notice me as a guy that they'd want. So yeah, I don't drink, *smoke*, or do drugs. I'm about *5'7" feet tall.* I have dirty blond medium hair(*Though I would like grow my hair back down to my shoulders again*), no disfiguring scars or anything like that. *I'm at a normal weight. around 135 pounds.*
> 
> _I'm a Christian_, I have relationship based faith in God *and not one based on rules.*
> 
> ...


I'd also want someone who was open to doing some more typically 'extroverted' things though in addition to the introverted things, and the Christian thing may bother me too depending on how your beliefs influence your views on certain issues. If I had children I wouldn't want to raise them as any one religion either..

I drink sometimes when the opportunity presents itself and so I'd need to be with someone who was OK with that. It would obviously be easier if they drunk as well though given the choice between someone who liked to drink _all the time_ or someone who didn't drink at all I'd pick the latter.

But you know, since everyone is different it doesn't really matter what anyone person here thinks.


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