# I will ask a girl out on phone



## ~AJ~ (Jan 23, 2008)

Ive never asked a girl out on the phone, Ive done it online and in person. the phone freaks me out like nothing else.

so i will do it


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## ruinthps (Aug 15, 2007)

Yeah I really don't like the phone because the people around me can hear me and it is harder to gauge their reaction. I have never asked anyone out on the phone either but the again I usually ask someone out after I know they will say yes because we have been basically seeing each other. But good luck!


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## holtby43 (Jan 1, 2008)

Good luck! :yes 

It would freak me out too.


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

Good luck, Ajay!

Sounds hard, for me that is.

Anyway, best wishes,
Gerard


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## ~AJ~ (Jan 23, 2008)

daaa, i suck


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## luckyluckylucky (Dec 30, 2007)

Yes, YOU ask her, that's how it should be!

Good luck!


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

I guarantee you'll biologically survive. Doooo it! Dooo it! Dooo it!


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## slyfox (Nov 18, 2007)

Ardrums is right. If things go wrong, the result is never as bad as you think it would be. The benefits outweigh the risks

Good luck!


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## Dipper (Jul 15, 2007)

If you can do it in person, you can definitely do it over the phone. At least you can't get slapped in the face, punched in the gut, or kicked in the balls over the phone.


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## seanybhoy (Mar 2, 2008)

Yeah i say do it too,
Try to think of the rewards if she say's yes and if she says no then it's so much better than wondering what might've been.
Anyhow good luck bud.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Hell yeah, you can doo it!!

I try and look at the phone as a tool to say, "Hi, what are you up to? Cool, I'm just sitting here. Well, what are you up for today? Did you want to do something?". It's like the ultimate lazy tool to see if you can do something wheny our bored! I don't like talking on the phone so seeing it as a tool makes me be less self concious. It's the times when you nearly HAVE to get to know someone on the phone and you really don't know anything about them that is the worst! But in all, it's not really that bad... Good Luck!


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## ~AJ~ (Jan 23, 2008)

Thanks guys, but its just, I dont wanna have to go on a date with all that talking and talking and blah blah blah.

If i was certain she would say no, then this would be no problem
but im pretty sure she'll say yes

this is fear of acceptance, not rejection :stu


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## TorLin (Nov 14, 2006)

so did it happen yet?


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## ~AJ~ (Jan 23, 2008)

no


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## ahmerw007 (Feb 11, 2008)

Come on man, ask her, once she says yes, just say whatever and hang up quick.


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## Cake (Jan 9, 2008)

~AJ~ said:


> this is fear of acceptance, not rejection :stu


hehehe, fear of acceptance eh?? i envy you....


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## ~AJ~ (Jan 23, 2008)

Cake said:


> ~AJ~ said:
> 
> 
> > this is fear of acceptance, not rejection :stu
> ...


really??? it sucks, cause asking isnt the hard part, the date itself is the hard part

asking takes 10 seconds, the date goes on for hours. hours and hours of being judged and persecuted for every little weakness I have with socializing!


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## Dipper (Jul 15, 2007)

I can assure you that you won't be judged as much as you're thinking. You never know, it could go very well if you actually like this girl. Do you like her? Or are you just using her as a goal?

Since asking her out over the phone is so easy for you, why don't you make going out with her your goal instead?


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## ~AJ~ (Jan 23, 2008)

well, i did it on msn messanger, haha. 
she said no, hurray

I wanna do it on the phone though, maybe ill just call some random person and ask them out


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Why are you even asking anyone out if you don't want to go out with them? It just seems odd to want to do something specifically because it freaks you out without any interest in the person accepting.

There are a lot of things that freak me out that I have no interest in doing, so I don't do them.

What's your interest in asking people out, if not to get a date?

My only guess would be to prove that you won't, on average, be attacked/insulted/spat on/etc. But even so, I don't know why this would even be an activity worth testing if you don't have interest in acceptance.

Sorry if any of that sounds blunt, but I'm just confused here. Help me out.


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## ~AJ~ (Jan 23, 2008)

cause i want a relationship
I also want to avoid people

its two conflicting forces
good vs bad

just like the fitness vs junk food conflict


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

~AJ~ said:


> cause i want a relationship
> I also want to avoid people
> 
> its two conflicting forces
> ...


OK, I can understand that. Fearing what you also crave.


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## ~AJ~ (Jan 23, 2008)

so it turns out she liked me for my looks, but once she got to know me, she didnt like me anymore cause of my social anxiety, or as she put it, Im too much of a "wimp" and "boring"

Losing one girl out of billions doesnt hurt. It hurts that Im so unattractive on the inside that this is doomed to repeat itself again and again. 

ah well, Social anxiety people think Im brave and fun


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

~AJ~ said:


> so it turns out she liked me for my looks, but once she got to know me, she didnt like me anymore cause of my social anxiety, or as she put it, Im too much of a "wimp" and "boring"
> 
> Losing one girl out of billions doesnt hurt. It hurts that Im so unattractive on the inside that this is doomed to repeat itself again and again.
> 
> ah well, Social anxiety people think Im brave and fun


She's just one person, not the entire female population. 

You did an awesome job of getting that far and taking a chance. You should be proud of yourself and emphasizing how you were able to meet someone. You survived. There is no such thing as a universal experience of attractiveness toward any one person, so your absolute statement of being unattractive now based on one person's opinion is flawed.

Did _you_ like _her_? She doesn't sound like a very friendly person if she was verbally attacking you like that. Would you really want to be around that kind of girl all the time?? Good riddance I say! You're much better off with a girl who is more respectful and empathetic.

She's wasn't some sort of goddess with scentless feces and the ability to judge your Worth. You're putting her on a pedestal when she's just another human being, fallible and flawed like everyone else.


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## ~AJ~ (Jan 23, 2008)

yeah!!


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