# Have you ever done something really bad and unethical?



## FloridaGuy48 (Jun 30, 2014)

Have you ever done something really bad and unethical?


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

I used to eat meat, I dont do that anymore. I'm not the same person anymore. it's a live and learn type situation.

there are things that I did purposefully from ethics that I dont do anymore. I just take that as having shifting values. nothing is fixed forever.

but idk I've never really involved other people in my actions. oh I did do something kind of bad to someone a long time ago but they didnt really react much. another live and learn situation. if it was really that easy then no one would make those kind of mistakes. and yes the consequences, you just have to suck them up.


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## leaf in the wind (Mar 28, 2017)

Not intentionally. Well, I have done questionable things -reluctantly - on the directives of a pushy former employer... and I ended up leaving the company because their practices made me so uncomfortable. 

I think it would be less stressful to just face the music. The lead up is usually a lot worse than what the situation actually warrants.


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## Sekiro (Dec 29, 2019)

chrisinmd said:


> So I guess my question is how does someone deal with the stress of the situation and forgive themselves and deal with the shame? Or make better decisions in the future?


By letting it haunt me so I never make the same error ever again.


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## FloridaGuy48 (Jun 30, 2014)

Sekiro said:


> By letting it haunt me so I never make the same error ever again.


I see how that would work and keep you from repeating stupid decisions. But not likely good for your mental health by letting it haunt you and worrying about it


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## Tetragammon (Jun 2, 2015)

I used to believe I was doing "unethical" things all the time and it basically broke me. But that was because I was stuck in an archaic worldview that didn't mesh with my own beliefs and feelings. Once I changed my view, nothing was so "bad" anymore -- and I came to the conclusion that "ethics" is really subjective. If someone else doesn't like what you do, say or think, that's _their problem_, not yours!

Although, it gets tricky if we define "unethical" as a breach of your own values. I still feel embarrassed and ashamed of my past, when I basically let everyone else dictate what I should or shouldn't think, feel or do. But I also acknowledge that that wasn't really my fault; I was too young and too sheltered to build my own worldview throughout my childhood, and even into early adulthood. Sometimes when I start slipping back into my old patterns of thinking and feel like a "terrible person" just because some other people would label me as such, it helps me to think of ethics and morality as a gray scale, instead of a black and white dichotomy. Even if I have done, said or thought things that others might consider "bad" or "unethical," there are many other people out there who feel the same way I do -- and many of them have done much worse things.

Besides, nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes; better to learn from them and move on, than to dwell on them forever.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

Intentionally kicked loose a door holder wedge to close a door on an unsuspecting school bully, breaking his pinky.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Yes. I'm human. :stu


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Yeah probably, nothing that big, I save that for my imagination.


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## incapaz dseguir mintiendo (Jun 17, 2018)

As a teen my group of friends and I use to break inside school buildings at night and rob equipment and also destroy a lot of stuff. It's something that haunts my conscience since we did a lot of damage for no reason and caused financial stress to private property. I assume I did it because I was angry towards society in general because of the rejection I've faced through my life. Letting all my anger out by destroying things certainly felt good in the moment but I will surely feel guilty about it for the rest of my life knowing I caused so many damage. I'm ashamed of admitting this here since you have to be a terrible human being to do the things I've done, but it is what I did and I can't take it back.


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## Sekiro (Dec 29, 2019)

chrisinmd said:


> I see how that would work and keep you from repeating stupid decisions. But not likely good for your mental health by letting it haunt you and worrying about it


If I hurt an innocent person the last thing I'm worried about is my mental health.


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## Cool Ice Dude55 (Jan 7, 2014)

Yes, lots of things. I used to consume animal products which is a big one.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

http://www.universitytimes.ie/2020/...ing_wp_cron=1584647560.9826989173889160156250



> Online academic resource JSTOR has clarified that much of its database is accessible to the public, amid the widespread closure of universities across the world due to the coronavirus pandemic.
> 
> The database, frequently used by university students for research and essay work, flagged on Twitter today that it has over 6,000 accessible ebooks and over 150 journals.
> 
> The database is also working to expand on the amount of free content available online to students accessing the database through its subscribed universities.


That's nice, but I was already pirating every scientific article /paper I've ever read via sci-hub and often post sci-hub links of pay wall stuff on this forum and elsewhere online.

Queen:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexandra_Elbakyan


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

Yes, many things. I wasn't always an angel.


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## MCHB (Jan 1, 2013)

Ages ago my truck was impounded for a month and I lost my licence for 3 months...does that count?


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

chrisinmd said:


> Have you ever done something really bad and unethical? Something that cannot be undone? An unethical decision from my past looks like it going to come back to bite me and not much I can do to stop it. Just have to deal with the consquences which could potentially be very bad.
> 
> So I guess my question is how does someone deal with the stress of the situation and forgive themselves and deal with the shame? Or make better decisions in the future?


The modern approach is to deny deny deny. Turn the situation around and blame the accuser. Be shameless. I'm sure other people have done worse things and gotten away with it. Look at guys like Mark Zuckerberg.


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

Nothing really serious compared to others, well a couple were pretty serious years ago but I got away with it at the time & it can't come back at me.


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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

Yeah, I was pretty bad when I was younger, but in a more lashing out, impersonal kinda way. 

I've only done one thing that I consider unethical and regret to this day. Its weird, because the person affected tells me it's no big deal, but I still feel really bad about it, even 15 years later.


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## shyguy07 (Mar 22, 2015)

Well back in March, I was sitting in line at a stop sign, with two cars in front of me. I could have pulled up to the car in front of me, but I left about a car space. Mostly, because there was a parking lot entrance to the right of me and I didn't want to block it.

Well this big truck came up behind me and blew their horn. I just kept sitting there because we weren't moving and I wasn't blocking anything. So they decide to go in the grass and drive around me and get in front of me. I was pretty aggravated by that point that they felt the situation was so bad to do that. So I blew the horn and when it was their turn to pull out, I blew the horn again.

I felt bad about it, but I was pretty mad. What they did was in my opinion totally uncalled for. But obviously, blowing the horn twice when it wasn't an emergency is illegal after all.

I have a real problem with people who think they are super important. I shouldn't let it bother me of course, and it's not like people like that tend to ever realize what jerks they are, it's just their personality never lets them realize it. It's always the other person that's the problem for some people.


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## FloridaGuy48 (Jun 30, 2014)

incapaz dseguir mintiendo said:


> As a teen my group of friends and I use to break inside school buildings at night and rob equipment and also destroy a lot of stuff. It's something that haunts my conscience since we did a lot of damage for no reason and caused financial stress to private property.


We all make mistakes. Learn and live


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## AffinityWing (Aug 11, 2013)

Because I've always had quite a turbulent relationship with my mother, I would lash out at her alot when I was younger so we had some confrontations where I would end up hitting or pushing her away. When she would be acting fakely nice by trying to hug me and be annoying, a few times I've pushed her away with such force that she fell on her ***. I felt horrible afterwards since I didn't mean for that to happen and it scared me to think I could be capable of that.

Although in the past, I would try to "defend" myself physically like that against her alot. I've pulled her hair, slapped her, screamed back at her constantly. To be fair, I'd like to think it was only because I was learning these behaviors from her and because I was desperate for any way to protect myself against her constant verbal onslaughts. It's not like I wanted to or got satisfaction from doing it. If she had been nicer and more understanding, I'm sure our relationship would have been much better.


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## zonebox (Oct 22, 2012)

chrisinmd said:


> So I guess my question is how does someone deal with the stress of the situation and forgive themselves and deal with the shame? Or make better decisions in the future?


Put it in perspective, did you cause permanent damage that will cause a lifetime of hardship to others? If so, then, yeah that is not something I have experience with. If not, then, well, you're human and it happens. You have a lifetime of mistakes ahead of you, they happen.

Thankfully, I have not caused permanent damage that will cause a lifetime of hardship to others.


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## veron (Apr 29, 2009)

No, can't say I have. I suppose some people here would consider me a really bad and unethical person because I eat meat, but I don't see things that way  I don't think I've ever never caused anybody grave injury, whether it be physical, monetary, emotional, or otherwise.


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## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

Blue Dino said:


> Intentionally kicked loose a door holder wedge to close a door on an unsuspecting school bully, breaking his pinky.


Did he ever bully you after that? Probably not.


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## love is like a dream (Jan 7, 2011)

i really am not sure. everytime i try to think of something bad/unethical, it turns out to be something cringe-worthy instead.


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## discopotato (Dec 24, 2016)

shoplifted a few times as a teenager I guess


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## FloridaGuy48 (Jun 30, 2014)

discopotato said:


> shoplifted a few times as a teenager I guess


Never did that but had friends that did


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

Lisa said:


> Did he ever bully you after that? Probably not.


He never really bullied me, but have to many others and continued his bullying long after that. It was a rather unconstructive and messed up act on my part regardless.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Blue Dino said:


> He never really bullied me, but have to many others and continued his bullying long after that. It was a rather unconstructive and messed up act on my part regardless.


In my school we were told to beat people up if they gave you problems. I was called a crybaby by the middle school principal for complaining abut someone hitting me. He told me to challenge the guy to a fight off school grounds and beat him up. My high school principal told me to push a bully down a staircase. He accused me of being to scared to fight. Other teachers who knew I was a bullying victim told me I would end up being some guy's wife in prison because I didn't beat people up. The assistant principal even heard an antisocial student threaten to rape me and told me that's what would happen to me in prison. These were highly respected members of the community. And they condoned rape. And there's more than that in my life. So do I feel guilty about things I have done to humans. And I never will. People are scum. I'm glad I ascended and am not a human anymore.

Just don't hurt any cute little animals, OK?


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## Lelouch Lamperouge (May 13, 2013)

I like when I have diarrhea, to go into a public stall and crap all over all down the side of the toilet bowl, on the seat, a little on the floor. Then I get some toilet paper, soak some up and rub it on the locking mechanism of the bathroom stall and the handle to flush. Then I just walk away leaving others to deal with it


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

scarpia said:


> In my school we were told to beat people up if they gave you problems. I was called a crybaby by the middle school principal for complaining abut someone hitting me. He told me to challenge the guy to a fight off school grounds and beat him up. My high school principal told me to push a bully down a staircase. He accused me of being to scared to fight. Other teachers who knew I was a bullying victim told me I would end up being some guy's wife in prison because I didn't beat people up. The assistant principal even heard an antisocial student threaten to rape me and told me that's what would happen to me in prison. These were highly respected members of the community. And they condoned rape. And there's more than that in my life. So do I feel guilty about things I have done to humans. And I never will. People are scum. I'm glad I ascended and am not a human anymore.
> 
> Just don't hurt any cute little animals, OK?


Valhalla High School and Jr High sounds rough.


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

Blue Dino said:


> Valhalla High School and Jr High sounds rough.


Sounds like he really went to viking school &#128558;


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## Famous (Sep 6, 2011)

I posted some really unethical right wing stuff(not my own views) on a music website to wind up the users who were pretty square and "small c" conservative, I didn't get banned, but I was put on the ignore list by the whole user base, 

I regret posting the right wing material, but the website users and site admin are still a bunch of squares, and I'm actually quite left wing socialist in real life.


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## LydeaCharlotteGirl (Aug 27, 2013)

Yes, though thankfully I never did anything that got me arrested or whatever, was stopped and searched in the street by the police more than once. But from primary school onwards, I did do many at at least somewhat dodgy and/or nasty/unethical things. Certainly regret them in general, especially one incident with a certain nice primary school girl and another with an equally nice girl at boarding school, though it's questionable whether the second incident was really me being unfriendly or just because I was tired and surprised. That was before becoming Charlotte, I was a lot more of a boy back then. It was only really in my early/mid 30s that I calmed down a lot, and nearly all bad behaviour stopped altogether.


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## Lohikaarme (Aug 28, 2013)

Nice try, FBI agent *finger guns*


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Blue Dino said:


> Valhalla High School and Jr High sounds rough.


It is. Some German exchange students got bullied out of school after only a week. I remember my homeroom teacher yelling at us over how we treated them. But it was our teachers who taught us to act like that. I remember one teach asking me if the reason I didn't have a gf was because I was afraid to fight for her.


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## FloridaGuy48 (Jun 30, 2014)

scarpia said:


> In my school we were told to beat people up if they gave you problems. I was called a crybaby by the middle school principal for complaining abut someone hitting me. He told me to challenge the guy to a fight off school grounds and beat him up. My high school principal told me to push a bully down a staircase. He accused me of being to scared to fight. Other teachers who knew I was a bullying victim told me I would end up being some guy's wife in prison because I didn't beat people up. The assistant principal even heard an antisocial student threaten to rape me and told me that's what would happen to me in prison. These were highly respected members of the community. And they condoned rape. And there's more than that in my life.


You went to a rough high school.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

chrisinmd said:


> You went to a rough high school. I thought mine was rough but my teachers and principals would just turn the other way and ignore it. Not encourage it. What year and general location did you go to High School?


80s. New England. suburban. Lots of fights - but they only expelled the guy who lost the fight - didn't matter who started it. I remember one day in study hall this obnoxious guy who had a broken leg and was on crutches kept poking a guy with his crutch. Finally the other turns around and BANG socks the crutches guy right in the nose - and breaks it along with his glasses. He got his nose broken so he got expelled.

It was a divide and conquer strategy - turn the kids against each other. One day 3 kids put bags on their heads and went into the library and thew some water balloons on April Fool's day. Everyone recognized one guy's voice. Vice principal tells him if he gives up the names of his friends no one will be punished. Kid names his friends and they both get expelled. He did that to our class president when he and 2 friends skipped a class to head to a donut shop. I skipped 2 study halls while playing chess in the computer room - vice principal punished the computer science teacher and tells him that I ratted him out for not being in the room. I didn't - I'm no rat. Still had teachers chew me out and call me a rat in English and home room. I tried to drop out as soon as I hit age 16 but one teach convinced me to stay. I shouldn't have. Lots of kids just dropped out. New kids would come to the school and often not even finish the year. I remember this one guy who had long hair. You couldn't get away with that. He tried cutting it but he was still 'woman'.

School got vandalized all the time. Tons of drug use. If a kid has affluent parents they let him get away with bringing drugs into the school. Lots of us carried knives and the admin knew about it. I think they finally changed a bit after I graduated and a guy got caught bringing a gun to school. This was before Columbine. When that happened I wasn't a bit surprised. I know what happened to make them shoot the place up.

I've gone on a bit, but my point is not to worry if you have done anything unethical or 'wrong'. Many people in authority do it ALL THE TIME and don't feel bad about it. Look at all the priests who molested kids. There was a local priest who was in the news n the 90's. I remember two of the kids who went antisocial had been alter boys. Everyone wondered how they turned from alter boys to antisocial. It was pretty easy to put 2 and 2 together after that priest got exposed. No jail for him though - just moved out of state.


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## Not so Stone Cold (Jul 10, 2017)

YES, I destroyed my own family from within. I live with it everyday. Very painful


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Not so Stone Cold said:


> YES, I destroyed my own family from within. I live with it everyday. Very painful


Tell us some details. I am sure I can find a way to make it out to be all their fault.


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## FloridaGuy48 (Jun 30, 2014)

Not so Stone Cold said:


> YES, I destroyed my own family from within. I live with it everyday. Very painful


Sorry to hear that about you destroying your family. Can you give some details. Maybe it will help some of us avoid the same mistake


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

One time in 8th grade I smuggled my Gameboy into class and was playing it under the desk. Teacher caught me and took it away and put it in her desk drawer. At the end of the day she didn't give it back so I waited until she left the room and took it back myself. It's weird how guilty I felt for taking my own property back. :lol


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

I've done quite a few unethical things I guess - quite a lot of theft, I guess that's unethical, plus a few other things I won't go into here. I haven't ever hurt anyone seriously though, certainly not physically.

I started talking about something I did ages ago with my wife last night on the phone - and then I stopped and said there's really no point talking about all this stuff. It'll only upset you - and it was just what I did at the time. If I were to worry about all the stupid things I've done in my life I'd be even more of a nervous wreck than I am now. I never meant to hurt anyone - I was just a dickhead, like I often have been.


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## FloridaGuy48 (Jun 30, 2014)

harrison said:


> I've done quite a few unethical things I guess - quite a lot of theft, I guess that's unethical, plus a few other things I won't go into here. I haven't ever hurt anyone seriously though, certainly not physically.


I did some theft things in my younger days as well. Not something im proud of but you live and learn.


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## Ender (Aug 5, 2012)

I was very emotionally and verbally abusive to my first girlfriend. I was very insecure I isolated her from friends and family so she would only have me to rely on. I called her awful names and told her no one else would ever want her. I was terrified of losing her and would have done anything to keep her. I am very ashamed of this and have tried very hard to become a better person.


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## hyacinth girl (May 9, 2015)

I messed around with people even though I knew they had partners.


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## Sekiro (Dec 29, 2019)

hyacinth girl said:


> I messed around with people even though I knew they had partners.


 They messed around with you. Kinda not your ethical dilemma.



WillYouStopDave said:


> One time in 8th grade I smuggled my Gameboy into class and was playing it under the desk. Teacher caught me and took it away and put it in her desk drawer. At the end of the day she didn't give it back so I waited until she left the room and took it back myself. It's weird how guilty I felt for taking my own property back. :lol


Also not unethical ;P


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## PurplePeopleEater (May 10, 2017)

In 7th grade, I put hand sanitizer in my teacher's drink. I couldn't stand the way he looked at me. Seemed like he gave me mean and weird looks a lot for no reason. Then he asked my small class, "Who put hand sanitizer in my drink?" I didn't say anything. I wonder what would've happened if I did say it was me.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

chrisinmd said:


> I did some theft things in my younger days as well. Not something im proud of but you live and learn.


Unfortunately I wasn't that young - most of it happened only about 10 years ago. I think I was mostly manic when I did the serious stuff - and I'll go to jail if it happens again. I would definitely prefer that didn't happen so I try very hard to keep a track of my moods etc nowadays.

Not the end of the world - but embarassing and having a criminal record is not good even at my age. Especially if they need to do police checks etc.


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## FloridaGuy48 (Jun 30, 2014)

harrison said:


> Unfortunately I wasn't that young - most of it happened only about 10 years ago. I think I was mostly manic when I did the serious stuff - and I'll go to jail if it happens again. I would definitely prefer that didn't happen so I try very hard to keep a track of my moods etc nowadays.
> 
> Not the end of the world - but embarassing and having a criminal record is not good even at my age. Especially if they need to do police checks etc.


We all make young mistakes.


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## FloridaGuy48 (Jun 30, 2014)

Ender said:


> I was very emotionally and verbally abusive to my first girlfriend.


Not good at all but I have done some pretty bad stuff as well so the only thing you can do is never do it again and try to be a better person. You could apologize or try to make amends in some way as well.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

chrisinmd said:


> Yea the criminal record thing is not good at all. Really bad when your applying for a job. I had kind of a minor criminal charge over 10 years ago. Case was dismissed *and I even got it expunged. But it still shows up* if I apply for a that does a really deep background check. Like one that requires a security clearence or a goverment job. Cost me some good jobs I would have liked to have.


It still shows up if you have it expunged?? I was thinking about trying that.


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## FloridaGuy48 (Jun 30, 2014)

harrison said:


> It still shows up if you have it expunged?? I was thinking about trying that.


Yep


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

chrisinmd said:


> It does help to get it expunged. So yes I would recommend it. But expungement is not perfect. It will keep it from showing up if you apply for a job at a private company. Like Walmart or your local grocery store or construction company. But if you apply for any job with the government or a law enforcement job. Or any job that requires a professional license like a school teacher or to work at a bank. This types of jobs they do a background check through the FBI. Your expungment will delete the record at your state level but they can still see it if they do a FBI background check. I had a job offer working security at a Federal Building in the Wash DC area and my record showed up. That really sucked I wanted the job to. So yes get it expunged but if your applying for a job with a real indepth background check it may still show up. Nothing is this era of computers is ever really completely wiped away


I live in Australia - not the US. 

But yeah, something similar probably applies here too. Fortunately (?) I'm getting older and closer to pension age, so I don't really need to worry about getting a job, although I even thought about teaching English or something online - and I think they even do a check for that. Annoying.

Thanks for the info anyway mate.


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## lily (Nov 9, 2018)

If there was anything against me, I suppose I would know about it so then I would say I've got nothing to worry about in terms of going against the law but there were things that happened the other way around and I also did something I regret and I have done things in my younger/very young years that wasn't right or that I'm ashamed of but I know better now and God has helped me. Although one thing I did that is criminal in high school was plagiarize, I was so immature and the reason was because I was lazy, not because I wanted to just copy what what said in the internet. After I never did it again. I referenced and put quotes if needed and reworded whenever necessary. In early college, I cheated on 1 or 2 answers once in English class (again my mentality was so young and immature) but never did I do it again or would I so that's cheating and plagiarism. Also, I never cheated in junior high as far as I recall but a nice girl in gr. 9 asked me for 1 or 2 answers and was writing it down so she did the same thing I did but two wrongs does not make a right.


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## slyfox (Nov 18, 2007)

I definitely have a whole list of mistakes I feel awful or guilty about that haunt me. A lot of regrets. They pop into my head a lot.


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## FloridaGuy48 (Jun 30, 2014)

slyfox said:


> I definitely have a whole list of mistakes I feel awful or guilty about that haunt me. A lot of regrets. They pop into my head a lot.


I do as well. Take them as learning lessons and take the lesson of things not to repeat. Easier said then done I know. You could try to make amends for some of your regrets if there are people you hurt. Or try to help someone in a similar situation.


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## rabidfoxes (Apr 17, 2016)

Not really. I have a pretty good moral compass which helps me avoid mistakes I'd regret. That doesn't mean I haven't done things that some people would deem bad or unethical (I mean, I know people who'll pay for an Amazon subscription but think that downloading pirated content is unethical). I have hurt people, but not through some malicious intent.


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## Zatch (Apr 28, 2013)

A lot of my childhood. Came from a single parent home and mom couldn't always keep her eye on me or discipline me all the time. I ended up in trouble both on my own and with friends.

Around the time I became a teenager it calmed down. I became more isolated and had fewer friends to get into mischief with, but my urge to do so never went away completely. A lot of it had to do with my disinterest in education at that age and how much I let things bother me about my family and the past. The future seemed so out of my control.

I'm not haunted by things anymore and have learned from them. It's made me more compassionate than I think I would be if I had not.


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