# Why don't people talk to me?



## Aly (Nov 30, 2010)

I feel like everybody hates me, i wouldn't be surprised if it was true. I just don't understand why nobody talks to me. Everyone else always meets new people during the school year, so why can't I? My brother always has people talking to him. When i'm walking with him, people will say hi to him, but never to me. It's like everyone likes him but it's the complete opposite for me. I don't even do anything to deserve this, I just mind my own business. What's wrong with me? Obviously there is something wrong, because if people wanted to talk to me, they would.


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## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

Maybe you are giving off vibes that say 'Don't talk to me'


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

You probably seem reserved like a lot of people with SA, and people aren't sure if they can approach you. So you need to open up to people to show them you're worth getting to know.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

You probably seem closed off. If someone is walking past your brother and he says hi, then smile at them and introduce yourself. Act happy to meet them.


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## Theo0808 (Jan 15, 2012)

i can understand how you feel. Ive messaged 4 ppl in the last few days and none of them have replied to me


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## KiwiGirl (Nov 13, 2011)

Aly said:


> I feel like everybody hates me, i wouldn't be surprised if it was true. I just don't understand why nobody talks to me. Everyone else always meets new people during the school year, so why can't I? My brother always has people talking to him. When i'm walking with him, people will say hi to him, but never to me. It's like everyone likes him but it's the complete opposite for me. I don't even do anything to deserve this, I just mind my own business. What's wrong with me? Obviously there is something wrong, because if people wanted to talk to me, they would.


Hi. Nobody hates you. Everybody goes through what your going through. I know I have. Maybe they just don't know what to say to you. Some people are just more likeable than some, I know it sucks  There is nothing wrong with you. Maybe just say a simple "Hi" and see what reaction you get. If they say "Hi" back ask the "How their day is going" People seem to have a pre-judgement if they like you or not. I wish people would just treat everybody the same. I have felt the feeling your feeling before. I'm sure as you get older you will meet some good friends.


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## Jinxx (May 10, 2011)

Since you have SA, you may send off a 'reserved' vibe. I know I do. Usually the only time people ever speak to me is if they have something smart or hurtful to say.


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## luffy (Jun 2, 2011)

People are good at reading energy levels in other people. if you are around high-energy people, they are typically the ones who will be talked to first. but that doesn't mean they hate you. if you started talking to people, they would respond well as long as you're friendly.


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## fate77 (Jan 15, 2012)

If you have S.A., the chances are your body language conveys the whole message of "I don't like speaking to people", even though it may not be true. Just try to initiate conversation with them instead of they with you, if you can (I know it's tough).


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## James_Russell (Aug 26, 2011)

I'm sure everybody's right about body language being the key.


I go through the exact same thing OP. And I have know idea how to change that. 

I think smiling and posture is the key. But I can't smile and I always look at the floor. I tried to not look at the floor at all once. And actually felt more confident standing up like that. As for smiling... :| lol


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## masterridley (Jan 20, 2007)

luffy said:


> People are good at reading energy levels


^ This. 1 million times this.

Whenever my disposition is somewhat sunny, I get a lot of people asking me
directions or just striking a conversation while waiting for something.

When I'm feeling down & depressed, *NOONE *literally talkes to me.

And it doesn't have anything to do with "positive thinking" and all that crap!
It's how you look at the others vs the ground, or how you straighten your back
vs having a scared stance. People want to leave you alone if they think you
_want _to be left alone

What I'm sayin is _*Don't take it personal because it's not personal.
*_


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## clt851988 (Jun 9, 2011)

Simple answer: You have to put in the effort to talk to them.


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## Eia Au (Jul 13, 2010)

Aly said:


> I feel like everybody hates me, i wouldn't be surprised if it was true. I just don't understand why nobody talks to me. Everyone else always meets new people during the school year, so why can't I? My brother always has people talking to him. When i'm walking with him, people will say hi to him, but never to me. It's like everyone likes him but it's the complete opposite for me. I don't even do anything to deserve this, I just mind my own business. What's wrong with me? Obviously there is something wrong, because if people wanted to talk to me, they would.


When I was in school I had similar experiences and it took me awhile to realize that people are attracted to people who project authority or who carry themselves with confidence. When I was in school I had no self respect and wanted to be invisible even though at the same time having people ignore me was hurtful, so you will have to own how your demeanor 
communicates to others how you will allow them to treat you. I think at the time I wanted the attention without the risk of letting myself be known.


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## MGPElectricGuitar (Jan 7, 2012)

Aly said:


> I feel like everybody hates me, i wouldn't be surprised if it was true. I just don't understand why nobody talks to me. Everyone else always meets new people during the school year, so why can't I? My brother always has people talking to him. When i'm walking with him, people will say hi to him, but never to me. It's like everyone likes him but it's the complete opposite for me. I don't even do anything to deserve this, I just mind my own business. What's wrong with me? Obviously there is something wrong, because if people wanted to talk to me, they would.


There isn't anything wrong with you at all  I have expeirienced the same thing. All my life I have been "The Quiet One" and my brother has always had more friends than me. I don't know how my brother done it but everyone seems to be pulled toward him like gravity and he is able to make friends quickly. In my experience, making friends is hard and takes slow progress. I have made 4 new friends in college from September last year, at first I was quiet and I eventually started talking to people and then they felt more comfortable around me and wanted to get to know me better. After a couple of weeks they started walking over to me to talk, Now they have turned into very good friends. My point is that you can't wait for people to talk to you, You need to be the one who breaks the ice and when you do, people will want to know more about you and you'll be making friends in no time. Maybe your too quiet, that is why they don't make a coversation - because they think your not interested, no one hates you! Just try to talk to someone. I hope this helps 

-Michael


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## James_Russell (Aug 26, 2011)

Wow it's interesting the amount of people experiencing this with extroverted popular siblings.

For me it was the same. My brother always just makes friends easily. He's confident, smart and just seems to fit in anywhere. I remember when he first went off to Uni we didn't hear from him for weeks because he'd made a group of new friends literally as soon as he got out of the car. That would never happen to me.

I'm the complete opposite. Strange how common that pattern seems to be.


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## MGPElectricGuitar (Jan 7, 2012)

a pers0n said:


> Wow it's interesting the amount of people experiencing this with extroverted popular siblings.
> 
> For me it was the same. My brother always just makes friends easily. He's confident, smart and just seems to fit in anywhere. I remember when he first went off to Uni we didn't hear from him for weeks because he'd made a group of new friends literally as soon as he got out of the car. That would never happen to me.
> 
> I'm the complete opposite. Strange how common that pattern seems to be.


Your right! Very strange indeed! :sus The younger brothers like myself always seem to be the unpopular ones.


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## brandini734 (Jan 15, 2012)

My sister is exactly like your brother and I'm the inroverted, reserved one except in my situation I don't want people talking to me and they end up doing the complete opposite


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

^What everyone else said about giving off a vibe of uncertainty/aloofness is probably on the button, practice your greetings, work on building your self esteem etc, try and be in the moment & dictate your own reality.


Good luck!


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## Aly (Nov 30, 2010)

Thanks for replying everyone, but i'm kind of confused on how i'm supposed to change myself. Like my body language. I don't know what normal body language is, i'm always tense and i've gotten told how I look like i'm scared all of the time and how I look like I don't have confidence. I don't know how to change any of that.


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## TaraR16 (Jan 24, 2012)

I have a similar problem.

Having SA, makes me more introspective, so I spend a lot of time lost in my own thoughts.


People generally don't like to interrupt you if you seem distracted or broody, trust me I know.

My only advice is to try to take sometime out of your train of thought/personal soliloquies and try to notice the people around you (make eye contact from time to time etc).

Good luck!


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## MGPElectricGuitar (Jan 7, 2012)

Aly said:


> Thanks for replying everyone, but i'm kind of confused on how i'm supposed to change myself. Like my body language. I don't know what normal body language is, i'm always tense and i've gotten told how I look like i'm scared all of the time and how I look like I don't have confidence. I don't know how to change any of that.


I have downloaded an audiobook a couple of months back, I found out that body language is also linked with your thoughts.

For example;

If you slouch when sitting, your mind thinks that you are depressed - So you feel depressed and you look depressed.

If you always sit properly with a good posture, your mind is going to think your happy and confident and this is how you will look.

Onto thoughts;

On the same audiobook the guy presenting gave the audience a challenge. (It was a seminar sort of thing) This challenge was to think positivly for 10 minutes without thiking a negative thought. Now if they reached that goal they had to reach 10 hours, If they reached that - 10 days etc.

The whole point of that is like an exercise for your brain. If you think positivly for enough time then your mind would get used to it and you would get more confident. If you want to download this audiobook it is called Inner Winner by Kevin Mincher. I recomend this because it has helped me lots. I hope this helps you out, Let know how you get on. 

- Mike


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## vardhan (Dec 24, 2011)

*28 Dignified Ways to Impress Everyone Around You*









Far more often than any of us like to admit, our actions are driven by an inner desire to impress other people. This desire is often reflected in the brand name products we use, the bars and restaurants we frequent, the houses and cars we buy and the careers we choose.
But are name brand products, fancy bars, houses and cars really that impressive? What about a person who holds an elite position in a career field they dislike? Some of these things might capture our attention for a minute or two, but they won't hold it for long.
Why? Because tangible possessions are not as impressive as intangible qualities.
Consider the following questions:


He drives a Porsche, but can he truly afford the car payment?
He owns a big house, but is it a loving household?
He makes a lot of money, but does he enjoy what he does for a living?
 You get the idea. Whenever the answer to questions like these is 'no,' the subject who initially appeared to be impressive no longer does.
Now take a moment and imagine a person who loves what he does for a living, smiles frequently and bleeds passion in every breath he takes. Would he impress you? Would it matter that he wasn't a millionaire?
Here are 28 dignified ways to impress everyone around you. If you practice these tips on a regular basis, they won't just impress others, they'll help you become a better person too._We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.
- Winston Churchill_​
*Be authentic. Be true to yourself.* - Judy Garland once said, "Always be a first rate version of yourself instead of a second rate version of somebody else." Live by this statement. There is no such thing as living in someone else's shoes. The only shoes you can occupy are your own. If you aren't being yourself, you aren't truly living - you're merely existing. And ask yourself this: If you don't like who you really are, why should I like you?
*Care about people.* - If you don't genuinely care about people, they won't care about you. The more you help others, the more they will want to help you. Love and kindness begets love and kindness. And so on and so forth.
*Make others feel good.* - People will rarely remember what you did, but they will always remember how you made them feel.
*Be honest and take ownership of your actions.* - Nobody likes a liar. In the long-run, the truth always reveals itself anyway. Either you own up to your actions or your actions will ultimately own you.
*Smile often.* - Everyone likes the sight of a genuine smile. Think about how you feel when a complete stranger looks into your eyes and smiles. Suddenly they don't seem like a stranger anymore, do they?
*Respect elders. Respect minors. Respect everyone.* - There are no boundaries or classes that define a group of people that deserve to be respected. Treat everyone with the same level of respect you would give to your grandfather and the same level of patience you would have with your baby brother. People will notice your kindness.
*Address people by their name.* - People love the sight and sound of their own name. So make sure you learn to remember names. Use them courteously in both oral and written communication.
*Say "Please" and "Thank you."* - These two simple phrases make demands sound like requests, and they inject a friendly tone into serious conversations. Using them can mean the difference between sounding rude and sounding genuinely grateful.
*Excel at what you do.* - I am impressed by great guitarists, writers, bloggers, painters, motivational speakers, internet entrepreneurs, computer engineers, mothers, fathers, athletes, etc. There is only one thing they all have in common: They excel at what they do. There's no point in doing something if you aren't going to do it right. Excel at your work and excel at your hobbies. Develop a reputation for yourself, a reputation for consistent excellence.
*Help others when you're able.* - In life, you get what you put in. When you make a positive impact in someone else's life, you also make a positive impact in your own life. Do something that's greater than you - something that helps someone else to be happy or to suffer less. Everyone values the gift of unexpected assistance and those who supply it.
*Put a small personal touch on everything you do.* - Think of it as branding your work. If you're funny, add a little humor into it. If you're an artist, decorate it with illustrations. Whatever you do, customize it with a little personal touch of 'you.'
*Over-deliver on all of your promises.* - Some people habitually make promises they are just barely able to fulfill. They promise perfection and deliver mediocrity. If you want to boost your personal value in the eyes of others, do the exact opposite. Slightly under-sell your capabilities so that you're always able to over-deliver. It will seem to others like you're habitually going above and beyond the call of duty.
*Get organized.* - How can you get anything accomplished if you aren't organized? You can't. Make a regular habit of organizing your living space and working space. For some practical organizational guidance, I recommend David Allen's Getting Things Done







.
*Do your research and ask clarifying questions.* - Don't be that clueless dude in the room who just nods like he knows what's going on. Prepare yourself by doing research ahead of time. And if something still doesn't make sense to you, ask questions. The people involved will respect your desire to understand the material.
*Share knowledge and information with others.* - When you can, be a resource to those around you. If you have access to essential information, don't hoard it. Share it openly.
*Be positive and focus on what's right.* - Everything that happens in life is neither good nor bad. It just depends on your perspective. And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should. Either you succeed or you learn something. So stay positive, appreciate the pleasant outcomes, and learn from the rest. Your positivity will rub off on everyone around you.
*Listen intently to what others have to say.* - Eyes focused, ears tuned, mobile phone off. In a world that can't move fast enough, someone who can find time to listen to others is always appreciated.
*Be faithful to your significant other.* - Tiger Woods was everyone's hero until recently, wasn't he? Sustained fidelity in a long-term intimate relationship is not only impressive, it creates a healthy foundation for everything else you do.
*Learn to appreciate and love Mother Nature.* - Those who truly appreciate and love the natural world surrounding us typically exhibit the same high regard for all humanity. It's a positive way to live, and it's something people notice.
*Invest time, energy and money in yourself every day.* - When you invest in yourself, you can never lose, and over time you will change the trajectory of your life. You are simply the product of what you know. The more time, energy and money you spend acquiring pertinent knowledge, the more control you have over your life and the more valuable you will be to everyone around you. For fresh ideas on self improvement and lifestyle design, I recommend The 4-Hour Workweek







.
*Perform random acts of kindness on a regular basis.* - Pay for a stranger's coffee in line at Starbucks. Buy the office receptionist flowers just to say, "Thank you." Help an elderly lady with her groceries. There's nothing more rewarding than putting smiles on the faces around you.
*Compliment people who deserve it.* - Go out of your way to personally acknowledge and complement the people who have gone out of their way to shine. Everybody likes to hear that their efforts are appreciated.
*Speak clearly and make eye contact.* - Most people have a very low tolerance for dealing with people they can't understand. Mystery does not fuel strong relationships and impressiveness. Also, there's little doubt that eye contact is one of the most captivating forms of personal communication. When executed properly, eye contact injects closeness into human interaction.
*Make yourself available and approachable.* - If people cannot get a hold of you, or have trouble approaching you, they will forget about you. Your general availability and accessibility to others is extremely important to them. Always maintain a positive, tolerant attitude and keep an open line of communication to those around you.


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## vardhan (Dec 24, 2011)

*Be self-sufficient.* - Freedom is the greatest gift. Self-sufficiency is the greatest freedom. And self-sufficiency is quite impressive too. In the business world, it's one of the primary dreams that inspire people to give-up their day jobs to pursue entrepreneurship.
*Exploit the resources you do have access to.* - The average person is usually astonished when they see a physically handicap person show intense signs of emotional happiness. How could someone in such a restricted physical state be so happy? The answer rests in how they use the resources they do have. Stevie Wonder couldn't see, so he exploited his sense of hearing into a passion for music, and he now has 25 Grammy Awards to prove it.
*Be a part of something you believe in.* - This could be anything. Some people take an active role in their local city council, some find refuge in religious faith, some join social clubs supporting causes they believe in, and others find passion in their careers. In each case the psychological outcome is the same. They engage themselves in something they strongly believe in. This engagement brings happiness and meaning into their lives. It's hard not to be impressed by someone who's passionate about what they're doing.
*Stand up for your beliefs without flaunting them.* - Yes, it is possible to stand up for your beliefs without foisting them down someone else's throat. Discuss your personal beliefs when someone asks about them, but don't spawn offensive attacks of propaganda on unsuspecting victims. Stand firm by your values and always keep an open mind to new information.
 Of course, the coolest thing about this list is that everything you need to impress everyone around you is already contained within you. So stop trying to impress people with the possessions you own and start inspiring them with who you are and how you live your life.


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## EVADER (Jan 24, 2012)

Aly said:


> Thanks for replying everyone, but i'm kind of confused on how i'm supposed to change myself. Like my body language. I don't know what normal body language is, i'm always tense and i've gotten told how I look like i'm scared all of the time and how I look like I don't have confidence. I don't know how to change any of that.


Find something you like doing and get with it. You will meet other like minded people in the process. Maybe something athletic to really benefit. Like take up running. Do a 5K walk or run or whatever. Do it alone so you can leave if you like. Don't even talk to anyone if you don't want to. Do a few runs, get a few shirts, meet a few people, get healthy physically and mentally. Who knows where the road will lead. But at least you will be putting yourself in a positive environment that can only help you in every part of your life. Who knows you might like it...


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## Dylan johnson (Jun 15, 2015)

i feel like no one wants to speak to me, like on facebook i send a message to someone and they read it but they dont reply back, its not the first time this has happen to me and i feel upset all the time because i got no one to talk to. 

can any one help and explain to me why this might be happening to me.


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