# Do parents just hate kids with social anxiety?



## wishiwasnthere (Jul 30, 2014)

To preface this, when I was a little kid I would overhear my dad calling me a ***** and saying that I would never do anything in life.

Now that I'm older he basically says the same thing to my face only in a slightly more polite manner. My grandpa does the same thing. I just don't get it, my dad thinks that I'm choosing to be like this. I know that I've always had social anxiety because when I was a little kid I would hide behind my mom when I would meet anyone new, I don't know why he can't remember that. He believes that I can act however I want, but if I could then why would I _choose_ to act awkward?

I've seen lots of other posts where people talk of their parents giving them **** for having social anxiety. Why do you think this is? Is it because they want you to have kids?

Do your parents shame you for being anxious?


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## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

wishiwasnthere said:


> Do your parents shame you for being anxious?


If my parents ever shamed me for being anxious, I'd throw that shame right back at them, as they are the the reason I have anxiety.

I'm an adult now and of course it's my job to fix it, but they should have done a better job when I was still their responsibility.


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## Sad Larry (Jul 16, 2013)

yea, my parents used to scold me all the time for not being an obnoxious loud piece of ****. until i put them in their place, now they know whats up


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## Lelouch Lamperouge (May 13, 2013)

wishiwasnthere said:


> I'm sure you're a success in your parents eyes watching anime.


They are quite proud of me.


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## HannahG (Aug 31, 2010)

My parents used to push me to do things with other kids that made me uncomfortable. Basically they forced me to be a tag along and 'pretend' to like stuff. That, coupled with the fact I was always dragged around to my brother & sister's sports games& events and I wasn't allowed to join the hobbies I wanted, probably have a lot to do with my identity issues. 

You can't expect a person to be confident in who they are if they're pretending to be someone else. But, I've heard a lot of people with SA say they were basically pushed to be someone else. It just makes them more awkward and it's a vicious cycle.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Here's the thing with (most) parents.

Basically, people think of kids as possessions. When someone asks you "Do you want kids?" they literally mean "How would you like to have a son to put in your house? He'd probably look great in that empty room you have. You could even accessorize with some nice furniture for him to be displayed upon."

Yeah. Most parents don't care what their kids want. Most parents want you to be who/what they want you to be. Even if you get nothing out of it. In fact, if you don't want to do what they want you to do, they don't even want to hear it.

It's ugly but it's reality. It took me a lot of years to realize my parents are not as innocent as I thought. My mother in particular has always really disliked me as a person. Oh she loves me in that motherly way that just happens but everything about me has always been wrong in her eyes. I was always interested in the wrong things. I wasn't doing anything right. She didn't even want me around, really. 

I look back and I think how stupid I was not realizing it. She'd take us to the park and tell us to go have fun while she sat in the car and slept. When we had any time off from school she'd either sleep all day or take us to our grandmother's house and leave us there. I have no idea what she did but she just didn't want us around.

I think it was me, honestly. She started spending more time with my sister as she got older. Frankly, I think she knew there was something wrong with me from the start and she didn't want to face it. So she just ignored it. Maybe she thought it would just go away. I don't know. I don't know what she thought I was supposed to do without a mother or a father. I didn't have a mom. I had a chauffeur. 

Even when I tried to make friends I was limited to the lousy people who existed in the few places I could go where we lived. I'll bet 90% of those kids never did anything significant and probably still live within 5 miles of where they grew up. And yet they probably still have something of an independent life. Probably half of them are living on welfare and/or unemployment. 

My dad was a good man but he wasn't cut out to be a parent either. And he was just never around. He had to work.


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## Joe (May 18, 2010)

I think a kid with anxiety is stressful for the whole family.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Joe said:


> I think a kid with anxiety is stressful for the whole family.


 But wouldn't that mean the whole family has anxiety? Is that butterfly anxiety?


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## Joe (May 18, 2010)

WillYouStopDave said:


> But wouldn't that mean the whole family has anxiety? Is that butterfly anxiety?


Kind of, I just meant a kid with social anxiety. I know my Mum sometimes cries about how sad I am.


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## LemonBones (Sep 25, 2015)

My parents are always either talking behind my back, turning my siblings against me or smothering me in their misery and then blaming me for it. Also apparently I'm as horrible ******* for being isolated. That makes me a terrible person apparently, and anxiety is all in my head. It's all made up and all my fault. God damn and I can't even get away from them.


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