# should transfer to a school that my best friend from high school goes to?



## julie14401 (Jan 10, 2011)

My first semester of college just ended and I am thinking about transferring after this year. I just didn't enjoy this past semester very much. I have some friends from my dorm, classes and my sorority but I am just not satisfied with the friends I have made. My college friends do not hold a candle to my high school friends. College is making me feel really depressed and when I am there I have no desire to do anything fun. The only thing I look forward to is going home on breaks. Honestly if I never went back to my college I don't think i would miss anyone. I really feel like i do not have anything to look forward to anymore. college is supposed to be one of the best times of your life and I feel like I am just missing out. I know it has only been a semester but, I don't really foresee things getting better. Maybe I am just not ready for this huge step. I feel like I should have eased into college by going to a smaller school that is closer to home. My school is about 6 hours away and there are 12 thousand undergraduates. I really wanted to attend a small local school. My parents insisted that i should only apply to schools with at least 10% Jews( since I am Jewish) thinking it would make me more comfortable. I followed their advice but I ended up with a very narrow list of choices. All the small local school that i applied to were very expensive. That is how I ended up at my current school. Now i really don't care about how many Jews attend my school and i really regret taking my parent's advice. I think I would be much more comfortable at a smaller school that is closer to home. I like the idea of having small classes, more individualized attention, being part of a closer knit community and, having home accessible.

The only problem is, transferring really freaks me out. The thought of starting over from scratch and going through the whole friend making process again is very daunting. Everyone says it will be easier the second time but, I don't think it will be. i will be new while everyone else already has their friends. i will miss out on the whole freshman bonding experience. I am really afraid that I will not make friends as a transfer. This thought got me thinking that maybe I should transfer to a school where one of my high school friends is attending. i wouldn't even consider this if i didn't have any friends who were going to schools that fit my personality. One of my best friends is going to a school that i think would be perfect for me though. The school has a good academic reputation, the price is about the same as my current school, the school has a good science program ( I am a biology major), the school is closer to home and is fairly small. i didn't apply there in the first place because there are hardly any Jewish people who attend this school. If i transferred to this school I wouldn't have to worry about making new friends because I already have a friend there in case I couldn't.

On the down side, I feel like it is wrong to want to follow my best friend to her school. Although the school is a good fit for me, i just feel really pathetic for wanting to transfer there. She made a lot of new friends at her school and is having a great time there. She is doing completely fine without me. I need her and she does not need me at all. Its not that i think she will ignore me if i went to her school. Whenever i talk about not enjoying college she tells me to transfer to her school. She is a very kind and welcoming person and I am almost positive that she would invite me into her friend group. i would love to transfer to her school. I feel like i would have a great time there. If i did transfer there, i would make sure that we stay in different dorms so I could have as much exposure to meeting new people as possible. I do not want to just attach myself to her and her friends and never make any on my own. I will try to make my own friends but knowing that I have a friend already there will make transferring to a new school a lot more comfortable. I guess i am just afraid of what people will think and what my friend will think of me. I don't want people to think i am a loser for transferring to a school that my friend goes to. If my friend went to the local state school that practically half my high school goes to it wouldn't look so bad. This school is a random small school that is two and a half hours away. I probably wouldn't have even known this school existed if my friend was not going there.

So what should i do? i guess if really comes down to either feeling depressed for the next 3 and a half years or feeling disappointed and pathetic for the next 3 and a half years. But should i even be disappointed with myself for transferring to my friend's school? Does it really make me look pathetic?
Or should i just stick it out at my current school? if i transfer, is it that hard to make friends if i do not know anyone already there?
Thank you. Sorry this is so long


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