# I quit CBT. I would appreciate any advice from UK people.



## ballandbiscuit (Sep 18, 2019)

I'm a 31 year old man who has had anxiety since birth (probably) and depression since I was around 16 years of age. I have been mostly isolated at home for 15 years. I did go to university but I skipped most lectures. I have only worked for about 8 months in my entire life.



I was referred for CBT by my GP. I wanted to see a psychologist, but she said no because she "didn't know what she would be referring me for" and said I had to try CBT first. I have actually had CBT in the past, but it is not in my medical notes (my GP practice seems to be really incompetent and doesn't record things).


I have been attending CBT appointments since February and I quit this week. It wasn't helping and last week the therapist annoyed me by saying she didn't believe I have anxiety (even though I am too scared to work, use the phone or sometimes even talk to family members). She would focus the sessions on things like body language and smiling at people. Considering I rarely leave the house, I thought it was a complete waste of time and I found her insulting and dismissive. She considered my problems to all be due to social anxiety. I told her I have self medicated but didn't go as far to tell her I have planned sui cide on before.



I see another GP on Friday and I am thinking of asking a few things:


1. A test to see if I have anxiety and depression. With an official diagnosis in my notes maybe I will get somewhere.
2. A referral to a psychologist.
3. If I am refused these things I am quitting my GP practice and finding a new one.


My dream is to be able to leave the house and find a job without crushing anxiety. I would also like to have motivation and be like a normal person, instead of sitting in my room for 15 years. Why did the useless CBT therapist not see this? Do they think it is normal for a person to sit in their room for 15 years?


I have found the NHS mental health services to be poor and I do not hold out much hope. However my life is being wasted and I don't know what else to do apart from use cbd oil and go back on citalopram.


Thanks for reading


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## Thundersaurus (Aug 19, 2016)

Definitely change GP if your current one doesn't help much. what did you self medicate with, citalopram? You might want to ask your gp to get you onto another antidepressant


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## Cool Ice Dude55 (Jan 7, 2014)

Your GP sounds terrible. Unfortunately the NHS is awful when it comes to mental helth. Definitely look into getting a new GP IMO.


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## dinky808 (Sep 20, 2019)

Hi biscuit,


I've just finised a 10 session cbt course and it went pretty well. I have also basically been spending my life in various bedrooms behaving exactly as i did when i was 17. Now i'm 37 and made the bare minumum progress to get along in life and not rely on people too much. I have a job (not stable but 5 years going so far). Sorry, this isnt a bio lol!.


My advice would be to be brutally honest with them about EVERYTHING. everything. suicide attempts, thoughts, ways you avoid challenging situations, etc. My biggest problem was that when asked about my anxiety, i always scored the questionnaires low because i didnt feel much anxiety because i was so good at avoiding the triggers. There is a certain type of behaviour which therapists wont touch - something around BPD (borderline personality disorder) or EUD (emotionally unstable disorder) and if they think that helping you will be a difficult struggle for authority etc, they get turned off pretty quickly.


My supervisor at work is in a similar position and very unhappy with the help he's been offered so far, but he really would benefit from it.


Anyway, good luck and let me know if you want to chat / vent.


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## Delicate (May 23, 2008)

ballandbiscuit said:


> I'm a 31 year old man who has had anxiety since birth (probably) and depression since I was around 16 years of age. I have been mostly isolated at home for 15 years. I did go to university but I skipped most lectures. I have only worked for about 8 months in my entire life.
> 
> I was referred for CBT by my GP. I wanted to see a psychologist, but she said no because she "didn't know what she would be referring me for" and said I had to try CBT first. I have actually had CBT in the past, but it is not in my medical notes (my GP practice seems to be really incompetent and doesn't record things).
> 
> ...


Hey ballandbiscuit I am really sorry for what you have gone through. It sounds like you absolutely have anxiety, it really sucks that the therapist was so dismissive. I went to GP appointed therapist for CBT shortly after I went through recovery for an eating disorder. I told her I found it hard still to eat in public mostly at college and she suggested I go to a park and eat a sweet... She meant the best I'm sure but it didn't help me whatsoever lol.

My ED therapist was GP appointed and she was amazing but I honestly didn't have much luck for anxiety. I'm sure people have, it can be pretty hit and miss. I wouldn't write it off completely. Try really hard when you go back to the doctor to be really honest about your experience and how, if anything it caused you more anxiety, they're there to help you.

Have they had you fill out a form about your feelings? A kind of survey? I've filled those out so many times and I was initially diagnosed with generalised anxiety but with a majority of social anxieties. If you don't feel up to it then maybe ask a friend or relative to call the doctors up for you (there's no shame in that, you're not well) to explain your issues and ask for someone with more experience due to the sensitivities?

Alternatively, do you have the option to look into private therapy? I've been private with my therapist for about 5 years and it hasn't been as expensive as I thought, it's £30 a session and that doesn't have to be weekly.

I hope things get better man, I'm here if you need anything


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