# Rhyming thread!! Go!!



## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

There once was a man from Nantucket,


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

who was deeply in love with his bucket,


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

Who tried to put thread in a needle but said **** it.....


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

instead he went to work and he plucked it!


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## kos (May 19, 2009)

so he gathered his mop and bucket,


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## SilentWitness (Dec 27, 2009)

and went back to the store with his docket,


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

All payouts aside he sucked up his pride and launched it to space in a rocket,


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

From space he could see, with pride and with glee


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

Much more than just wires in a socket,


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## Colhad75 (Dec 14, 2009)

the wires were used to keep the door shut by somehow using a locket...


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## Mc Borg (Jan 4, 2008)

That's why pick pockets don't take tooth picks, See?


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

So he groaned and he moaned to his friends on the phone,


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## ineedhelp (Feb 10, 2010)

why cant people just "throw a dog a bone"?


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## gaTess (Dec 2, 2009)

This is why hes all alone. But hey, at least he still has his trombone.


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## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

Ah, but he doesn't like its tone. 
So the trombone is thrown, the door is closed,
and he walks into the cold night snow.


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## SilentWitness (Dec 27, 2009)

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe.....


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## gio289 (Jan 19, 2010)

she passed through mexico, and caught swine flu


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## SilentWitness (Dec 27, 2009)

she coughed and sneezed all over the place


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

and got the virused mucus all over her face uke.


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## PHD in Ebonics (Jan 5, 2010)

After seeking for a cure, she found one in space


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## Mc Borg (Jan 4, 2008)

But it's illegal in this case


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## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

But in space, she felt out of place.


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## SilentWitness (Dec 27, 2009)

So she returned to earth and the human race.


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## PHD in Ebonics (Jan 5, 2010)

Oh why is it illegal? Such a disgrace.


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## SilentWitness (Dec 27, 2009)

it certainly is, put a frown on her face,


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## epril (Mar 24, 2009)

Ace.


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## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

There once was a man who in congress, served Tea.


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## Zelka (Feb 9, 2010)

I asked him quite kindly to share some with me.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

But instead he ran off, he said he needed to pee.


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## epril (Mar 24, 2009)

and so emptied his bladder did he.


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

Little Johnny rocketboots went out for a trip,


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

out to get a potato chip.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

But when he returned, he realised he had forgotten the dip,


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## ImAboutToEXPLODE (Nov 20, 2007)

uhm yeah dip


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

Don't ya' be givin' me some lip!


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## epril (Mar 24, 2009)

There was a young girl named Britta.


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

Whose best friend was always much fitter,


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

and since she was never a quitter,


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## OregonMommy (Mar 3, 2010)

she followed Jenny Craig on Twitter!


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

And on Facebook too, she followed through and through


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## Mc Borg (Jan 4, 2008)

On Chatroulette, she showed her shoes


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

And at Carnegie Hall, she sang the blues


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## Tweedy (Jan 10, 2010)

about the weight she was trying to lose


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## Judi (Jun 22, 2009)

she thought "would these blue shoes I choose,
manage the weight to help me lose?"


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## epril (Mar 24, 2009)

There once was a wombat who sang

Or, even a moose could use


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## Tweedy (Jan 10, 2010)

The moose was slightly confused
By the wombat wearing blue shoes

Most creatures wore red
Except when they were dead
When they wore shoes made from...


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## epril (Mar 24, 2009)

Blues' Clues. 

Now what am I supposed to do?

There once was a poster named Earl..


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## Tweedy (Jan 10, 2010)

whom others believed was a girl


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

so he traveled the world
with a little pet squirrel


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

And gratefully wore out his shoes.

It was a bright sunny day when the clown came to stay,


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

As sunny a day as one has ever seen in May,
So hot he felt, maybe this clowns make-up could melt,
So he pondered whether he should stay...


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

He hmmed and he haaahd and at once he was glad,
that the breath kept his sweating at bay.
Strange sorrow he felt when his face it did melt,
And scared all the kiddies away!


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

"Come back kids" he cried aloud,
for what use is a clown without his watching crowd?
A solitary tear on his cheek as they ran away,
What next for our clown, on this solemn day?


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## Tweedy (Jan 10, 2010)

The clown removed every trace
Of greasy makeup from his face
He decided it was time for a new occupation
So promptly applied at...


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

...at the local train-station,
To drive a train had always been his dream,
To steer it on its way at full steam,
And so as the train chugged along, the clown thought to himself,
I'll leave my clown-costume back on its shelf...


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## Tweedy (Jan 10, 2010)

Except for the clown shoes, he chuckled away
I like to wear those...


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

even though they look totally gay,
Only an Australian chick would wear these he thought,
but what'll I do with them now, they aren't easily bought.
So he decided to give them to.....


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## Tweedy (Jan 10, 2010)

a poor Irish lad
whose footwear collection
was looking quite sad

Grand, he said, as he danced a wee jig
It's down to the pub to...


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

...to smoke a quick cig.
As he sipped his first pint, he thought aloud,
they're a funny bunch, the Australian crowd!
But he needed a change and pastures new,
"so to hell with this" he thought, Australia will do....
His heart skipped a beat as he boarded his flight,
off to the land of Tweedy, and barbecues at night...


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

Bumpetdy bump went the big speed hump,
As the thread became unthreaden


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## PlayerOffGames (Mar 19, 2007)

the thread is back, i said in fact
it was resurrected by the men in black


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## Tweedy (Jan 10, 2010)

Then outsourced to the men in grey
As the men in black needed a holiday


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

When I saked what they just said,
the men in black, well they turned red.


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## Tweedy (Jan 10, 2010)

The ladies in pink
Had a really good think
And the green girls


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

had a green drink
While the boys gave them a wink


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

and so they spun around
wearing gorgeous gowns


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

and at the sound 
the men all frowned


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## Tweedy (Jan 10, 2010)

With that cheeky flutter of eyelash
That can only come from the Irish
Seamus the leprechaun
Was getting his flirt on


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

so he summoned Dub who came running in
but tripped and fell over a bottle of gin


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## Tweedy (Jan 10, 2010)

'Ach, I'm alright,' spluttered Dub-Sixteen
'Well, I'm half-alright, do you know what I mean?'


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

And so it came to pass,
Dub-Sixteen had himself look quite the ***...


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## Tweedy (Jan 10, 2010)

Seamus was used to the antics of Dub
(Often accompanying him to the pub)


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

So Seamus said, that's it "I'm giving up the sauce",
"No dont do that" said Dub, "sure it'd be your loss"
And oot for a pint the happy pair went,
Only to find they didn't have a cent...


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

And at the pub, yes they did have quite fun
as Seamus announced his engagement to everyone


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

Daffy Duck was there with a ring on her finger,
I'll be in trouble said Seamus, if too long here we linger...
Then Donald Duck turned up and said where is me missus
And who is this leprechaun with whom shes been sharing kisses?


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## Tweedy (Jan 10, 2010)

Daisy Duck was rather concerned
It wasn't til later that she learned
While she'd been in solitary confinement
Daffy'd completed gender-reassignment


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

But Donald Duck
I admit
she was once your chick
But you mistreated her
outright neglected her
and I once had to save her
From being eaten for dinner


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

As Seamus looked on, wide-eyed with terror,
he quickly realised there had been some sort of error,
It's Daisy-Duck I'm marrying, not Daffy, he said,
Sure I couldn't be taking a male duck to bed!!!


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

In his drunken state, he had said the wrong word
No it isn't Daffy duck, Daisy's my bird


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## Tweedy (Jan 10, 2010)

Seamus was well pleased he'd found the right bird
It _was_ Daisy he loved, despite what we've heard
That one time with Daffy was just for a laugh
It doesn't count anyway, cos it was in the bath!


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

So Seamus and Daisy decided to have 'the chat'
_I want babies_ said Daisy, _how about that_?
_Jaysus_, said Seamus. _Sure our babies would look like a joke_!
_It doesn't matter_, said Daisy, _Now gimme a poke!!!!!!_


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## Tweedy (Jan 10, 2010)

The birds and the bees did their thing
(The birds and leprechauns too)
And [gestation period of lepre-ducks] later, Seamus was glad
He had two little ducklings for whom to be Dad


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

Geez, everything is happening so quickly in Seamus' life
I truly hope he enjoys his kids and new wife


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

I still remember the young Seamus, before he had grown up,
I used to drop him to school, an energetic young pup,
Now he's getting married and has wee kids on the way,
What will I do without him, now that he's moving away?


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

I will truly miss him, he is a really good friend
and hope that after he's married our friendship won't end
I've been going through our albums with tears in my eyes
I just hope he would read this and not say goodbye


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

But all I can do is watch him go,
Even though I will miss him so.
It's his life to live along with Daisy the duck.
Thinking of them making whoopie, makes me think... Yuck!!!


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

OH my! I just noticed Seamus' wedding date
and now I will have to endure a long wait


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## Tweedy (Jan 10, 2010)

I hope I'll make it to their special day
I can't wait to see Scrooge give Daisy away


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

And so it bloomed, another day
The dusty roof of shingles frayed,
The worried boy who wished he'd stayed,
For just to glimpse, the milking maid.


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

There once was a man named Billy,


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## PlayerOffGames (Mar 19, 2007)

and Billy was kinda silly


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

He went on a boat
with his little pet goat


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

and returned with a girl named Jilly


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## PlayerOffGames (Mar 19, 2007)

Jilly tried to pet the goat
But the goat got scared and jumped off the boat


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

so the goat tried to swim
but the poor little thing


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## PlayerOffGames (Mar 19, 2007)

Got tired and sank
Now Billy and Jilly have a lil fish in a tank


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## Noir6 (Jan 19, 2010)

A fish named Mortimer,
long in the gills.


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

and as they sat there feeling quite chilly
Billy and Jilly agreed it was all silly


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

Noir6 said:


> A fish named Mortimer,
> long in the gills.


Accepted that he had quite a few bills


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## Noir6 (Jan 19, 2010)

The bills came flooding in.
But being that he was underwater, it just seemed like wind.


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

and with no one the wiser they flew by his head
while other fish were responsible; he partied instead


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## Noir6 (Jan 19, 2010)

The party life soon took its toll
'till the one night he drank his fish bowl.


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

the contents were a little too much to take
so they rushed him to emergency, but it was too late


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## Noir6 (Jan 19, 2010)

Survived only by Gwenevive; who was the president of a non-profit organization for Fish Out Of Water
Told nobody that she was his daughter.


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

:haha^

For humble she was, with real fish balls,
She cared not what they thought in the water,


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

still she put together a farewell 
so all the fish came to tell
what little they knew of her father


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## quiet0lady (Sep 29, 2009)

Goldy, a family friend, told the sad daughter
To remember what her deceased fish-dad taught her:
"Hold your fins high, and swim through your troubles,
when in despair, stay away from big bubbles,"


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## Noir6 (Jan 19, 2010)

The air of the funeral was that of a pub, or maybe a club, but with fishes.
Drinking songs, shaking tail fins, even doing the robot, as well wishes.


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

and in fish heaven he looked down with glee
"ah yes, that's how I wanted it to be
for in my life I partied and had so much fun
and now that I'm gone may the party live on!"

:drunk


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## Noir6 (Jan 19, 2010)

Woo! nice one's Sash.
but with that story done
Where do we go from there?
We can't let this thread lay bare.


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

It's ok! the thread will be resurrected
maybe by you, maybe by me; 
or maybe by someone else out there
you'll see!
I'm sure it won't go neglected!


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## Noir6 (Jan 19, 2010)

To live on, it must!.. like stories of old.
With a brand new subject yet to be told.


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

There once lived a dude
who was incredibly rude
everyone commented on his bad attitude


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## Noir6 (Jan 19, 2010)

seeking the company of others like him
he waited around for rats, in a bin


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

so the rats joined him and they lived in the bin
snacking on cheese and drinking coffee or gin


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## Steve123 (Sep 13, 2009)

But just as the feast was about to begin
A big scary cat decided to come in


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

to which the rats offered gestures livid and lewd
"normally you'd scare and frighten
so it's just as well we're pickled and stewed"


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

At that moment the rats started to cry
and turned for help from the incredibly rude guy


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## Noir6 (Jan 19, 2010)

With contempt, dismissing the plight of the rats
His lack of compassion suprised even the cat.
His air of entitlement hard to weather
The rats and the cat leave the bin together.


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## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

he sat alone to bear the stormy weather.
Contempt and posturing -
became depression and melancholy,
quiet was he.


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## Tweedy (Jan 10, 2010)

The rude man was glum - as glum as could be
But he realised that happiness won't come for free
So he sat down one day to have a good think
And decided he'd tell all his woes to a shrink


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

Alas, the shrink was a nutter,
Pure crazy-talk did he splutter...
And the man wondered whether to pay.
He said "I cant find my wallet, my mind is a flutter...
Can I pay you another day?"


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## Tweedy (Jan 10, 2010)

The shrink kept on writing in his little book
But wouldn't let Rude Man have a wee look
'Please let me see' was Rude Man's appeal
The shrink just replied 'So how do you feel?'


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