# Just a curiosity for girls here: how does it feel when a guy asks you out?



## lexir (Mar 9, 2013)

Assuming you feel more or less neutral towards him.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

I would feel flattered.


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## lexir (Mar 9, 2013)

I should have made this a poll, but keep the answers coming!


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

It's only happened to me once, but it's very flattering. Like, super exciting, considering I'd only met him once before he'd asked me out. Nothing came out of it, we had lunch a few times afterwards, and it made me hate myself. But male attention was nice. Thinking about that excitement almost makes me want to get out of my comfort zone and talk to more people... at some point.


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## username4me (Feb 24, 2013)

Like all the girls said, very flattering. lol


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Reading these answers is kinda funny. I've asked girls out before and when I did I got a pretty negative response, almost like they seemed offended. It made me not want to try again.


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## afff (Dec 27, 2012)

only flattering when the guy is attractive or the girl has no self esteem. Most are disgusted when a guy below their worth asks them out.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)




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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

Extremely wary. I've been asked out a few times, one of which I accepted. After that, being asked out got more awkward, simply because no one seemed to care that I was taken at the time =_=


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

afff said:


> only flattering when the guy is attractive or the girl has no self esteem. Most are disgusted when a guy below their worth asks them out.


Wrong. I have a decent self-esteem and I'd be flattered to be asked out by anyone. Maybe you're talking about beautiful, outgoing girls who get asked out all the time. I could see why it might get annoying for them after the 50th time lol.


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## afff (Dec 27, 2012)

mezzoforte said:


> Wrong. I have a decent self-esteem and I'd be flattered to be asked out by anyone. Maybe you're talking about beautiful, outgoing girls who get asked out all the time. I could see why it might get annoying for them after the 50th time lol.


 yea whatever. If some ugly dude asked you out you would be disgusted.


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## LorenLuke (Jan 3, 2011)

afff said:


> yea whatever. If some ugly dude asked you out you would be disgusted.


Projecting?


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## afff (Dec 27, 2012)

LorenLuke said:


> Projecting?


 its human nature.


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## LorenLuke (Jan 3, 2011)

afff said:


> its human nature.


If you're going from gene-based perspective, it's whatever you need to preserve heterozygote advantage, so... I still refute your claim... Also, Henry Kissinger.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

afff said:


> only flattering when the guy is attractive or the girl has no self esteem. Most are disgusted when a guy below their worth asks them out.


Somebody here made a brilliant post a while ago about this.

Women who are approached by ugly guys get usually offended and rude, because if they didn't act as such, they would give their social circle the impression that they actually have a shot with them, something that would lower their social standing.


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## lexir (Mar 9, 2013)

FoundAndLost said:


> Reading these answers is kinda funny. I've asked girls out before and when I did I got a pretty negative response, almost like they seemed offended. It made me not want to try again.


That's what I fear, so the "feeling flattered" responses are kind of surprising.


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## Daveyboy (Jan 13, 2013)

I think you would have more responses if you threw in the word:
lingerie into your thread..just a thought.


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## afff (Dec 27, 2012)

TPower said:


> Somebody here made a brilliant post a while ago about this.
> 
> Women who are approached by ugly guys get usually offended and rude, because if they didn't act as such, they would give their social circle the impression that they actually have a shot with them, something that would lower their social standing.


 I'm not surprised at all.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

afff said:


> yea whatever. If some ugly dude asked you out you would be disgusted.


I'm sorry. I know you've been having a hard time...I hope things get better for you soon. :hug


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## afff (Dec 27, 2012)

mezzoforte said:


> I'm sorry. I know you've been having a hard time...I hope things get better for you soon. :hug


 except my face never smiles.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Joy to the world! the Lord is come!!

It is the best feeling in the world, like a mini explosion of micro particles that pulse throughout your entire body, it is a scary experience and a happy experience and a nerve wracking experience all lumped into one.

Especially when the guy is cute, it is amazing. When it's like a bum on the street, it's like, OK I see where you're going, I'm flattered, but please stay 5 feet away from me. Lol jk.


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## Yori (Feb 15, 2013)

If I am not interested whatsoever it feels like quite a bother. If I am it's an ego boost on top of being exciting


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## Forwhatiamworth (Mar 3, 2013)

Well its happened twice to me........and I usually get tongue tied and nervous. I was flattered.......until come to my surprise, they were both just looking for sex/fwb situation. Its amazing how convincing people are when they want something.


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## Eyesontheskies (Jan 31, 2013)

Well it's only happened to me like once but I would feel flattered.


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## Charmander (Sep 5, 2012)

It's very flattering, but I did once say that I liked that person too even though I didn't because I would have felt bad if I hadn't. I did let him know very soon after though.
And again, the question was aimed at girls. I think a select few have trouble reading.


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## MrQuiet76 (Aug 26, 2011)

I'm surprised that everyone is saying they'd feel flattered... The one time I asked a girl out she reacted as if I had some flesh-eating disease or something


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## Fruitcake (Jan 19, 2012)

I don't see why the answers are surprising. Women on here are more likely to feel flattered than the average woman who gets asked out. They're more likely to have lower self-esteem and get less interest from men so of course it's less bothersome and more flattering.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

I have been asked out or asked for my number a couple of times. I freaked out. Made an excuse why I couldn't. I felt bad afterwards. I felt like they were trying to use me for something. I didn't trust them. I didn't know these guys. It happened on the street or in a store.
It probably would be different if it was in a other situation. If we at least already knew eachothers name. Or if we had been talking for a while.

If I would be asked out by I guy I like, I would feel excited.


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## MarjoleinL (Feb 15, 2013)

PANIC. But that is nothing personal towards him, it's just because that's when I get anxiety. And then I would come with stupid excuses like: ''I have no time, I'm so sorry'' etc, just because I'm too afraid.


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## vienna812 (Feb 28, 2013)

For ten minutes I feel amazing, like nothing bed will ever happen again, someone doesn't find me repulsive, someone wants to talk to me more, yay, yay, yay... and then I get paranoid and think they probably are just being nice/ being really mean/ will hate me if they get to know me better/ a date is like a social ability test and I will fail.


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## vatefairefoutre (Mar 21, 2013)

loves it!!!!!!!!!!!!! although it's never personally happened to me but when it does happen i will love it!!!!!!!!!!!! unless ur creepy


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

Barette said:


> It's only happened to me once, but it's very flattering. Like, super exciting, considering I'd only met him once before he'd asked me out. Nothing came out of it, we had lunch a few times afterwards, and it made me hate myself. But male attention was nice. Thinking about that excitement almost makes me want to get out of my comfort zone and talk to more people... at some point.


why would that make u hate urself?


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## vanishingpt (Mar 9, 2012)

A lot of girls here said they'd feel flattered. For me though I usually felt very nervous whenever a guy asked me out LOL. In the moment I'd just draw a blank and feel bad because for the longest time I felt like I wouldn't be a very good girlfriend. I'd also be in disbelief sometimes if a guy told me they liked me... "How could a guy like this like me? This must be some sort of joke..."

Looking on it now though, I think it's because I just didn't have that much confidence in myself.


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## SuperSky (Feb 16, 2011)

It happened once. I was totally weirded out because it came out of absolutely nowhere, he'd shown absolutely zero interest in me previously, and I tried saying no and that I had a boyfriend, yet he managed to talk me into it (because I have SUCH a way with words) and we spent the whole time talking about my boyfriend... Or rather, him talking about my boyfriend and me going along with the conversation where I could :/
I don't even know what to make of it.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

SuperSky said:


> It happened once. I was totally weirded out because it came out of absolutely nowhere, he'd shown absolutely zero interest in me previously, and I tried saying no and that I had a boyfriend, yet he managed to talk me into it (because I have SUCH a way with words) and we spent the whole time talking about my boyfriend... Or rather, him talking about my boyfriend and me going along with the conversation where I could :/
> I don't even know what to make of it.


Another guy who asked you out then proceeds to discuss your bf the entire time. This was an interesting character!!

I guess it's going to be dependant girl to girl. If you ask out some prom queen princess who has every man and his dog flirting with you and asking you out then I imagine they wouldn't be so excited or flattered about the whole thing (unless they liked you of course), and as you move to girls who do not get as much attention they will probably become more and more flattered and excited about it.

How the guy approaches the situation is also going to have a vast impact on the response of the girl. I bet the girls here who say they would be flattered are imagining quite a charming approach by the guy in question, though may feel quite different if the approach was rather creepy or abrupt for example.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

illmatic1 said:


> why would that make u hate urself?


New college, horrible experience, weekly emotional breakdowns, and adding in the stress of having a first ever date was too much. I was an explosion of awkwardness, couldn't deal. Especially since we had lunch a few times afterwards, I was like the Hiroshima of awkwardness and weirdness.


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## changeme77 (Feb 22, 2013)

SuperSky said:


> It happened once. I was totally weirded out because it came out of absolutely nowhere, he'd shown absolutely zero interest in me previously, and I tried saying no and that I had a boyfriend, yet he managed to talk me into it (because I have SUCH a way with words) and we spent the whole time talking about my boyfriend... Or rather, him talking about my boyfriend and me going along with the conversation where I could :/
> I don't even know what to make of it.


wtf what a weird individual. may be he was gay and was searching for info on your bf


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## whatyoumustthink (Apr 25, 2012)

vatefairefoutre said:


> loves it!!!!!!!!!!!!! although it's never personally happened to me but when it does happen i will love it!!!!!!!!!!!! unless ur creepy


What defines creepy?


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

whatyoumustthink said:


> What defines creepy?


Ugly or low social status male (shy/awkward).


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## whatyoumustthink (Apr 25, 2012)

That's definitely one of the common theories, yeah, but I want an answer from the girl in question. It's like the word gets thrown around only half thought about, getting a proper definition would probably do half the male race a service.

And no, I'm not asking because I haven't heard it before... quite the opposite, I've seen it used in a lot of scenarios, and had it used on me too. It really burned, and I'm skeptical about it in general. I have a gut feeling that or something very similar ARE how it was meant there, in which case I'll go ahead with my rant/point on the subject, but I won't judge that until I get a specific answer.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

TPower said:


> Ugly or low social status male (shy/awkward).


Yup, pretty much if he's unattractive to her, that's creepy. Lol. It's so sad, but I know a lot of girls are like that. Especially girls who get asked out all the time.

I've been flirted with by guys I had no interest in. Out of the guys, one had high social status, one had low social status and I guess the others were somewhere in between (or I wasn't sure of their social status). Yet I was never offended/creeped out lol. Even if I found the guy unnattractive, I was still very flattered.


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## whatyoumustthink (Apr 25, 2012)

Ok, going with the idea that that's how it was meant...

I just don't understand why that's accepted in society. And, to some extent, how society stooped so low as to make it a common/acceptable phrase. It's pretty much the equivalent of calling a woman a ***** just for wearing a short skirt - assuming you can tell everything about a person from appearance and lump it into 1 stupid description that pins them down whilst pretending to be innocent. It'd be ok if it was a label applied to something appropriate, e.g. a desperate man (sometimes it is, fair play), but the way it's come into common use for basically *assuming* a person's soul is bad when they just look bad is terrible. What kind of hope does that give men, especially men with BDD and SA? This forum implies looks are an issue we should fight through, and then somebody basically admits that by using buzz words, they can circumvent that non-specifically. Tomorrow we'll be seeing men use "kooky" as a secret code-word to describe women who are now nasty *****es just because they're ugly. 

It's logical enough that looks alone cause both genders to be brutally judgmental, but what I can't get over is being entitled to judge someone's character because of that too. This is why I hate statements like "Why can't I find my Prince Charming?" THIS sort of thing makes me paranoid I can't be that person because people pretty much assume my face makes me corrupt. Sure, what can we do at the end of the day? It's a commonly coined phrase right now, but I don't see how it's come to be considered "harmless". I know it makes a lot of people bitter and insecure about where they stand, I'd even argue it's laid the foundations for a lot of misogynists on this forum.

P.S. I'm not saying there aren't male equivalents of this, I'm targeting this specific phrase and the impact it has.


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## tieffers (Jan 26, 2013)

I get nauseous, my heart starts to feel like it's going to beat out of my chest, I feel painfully insecure, the beginnings of guilt and shame, and maybe a little flattered - but the flattered feeling is eclipsed by the unpleasant sensations. It's because I know right when he asks that I'm going to have to say no. And it's because I know he won't understand why when I explain, if I explain. If he cares to hear anymore. And then I feel like the lowliest piece of trash ever for making him look that disappointed and embarrassed.

I _hate_ it when I'm asked out by someone I barely know, just out of the blue. It's not that I can't form attractions or have romantic interests. It's just that nobody's taken the time to be my friend first - uhm, nobody who has asked me out, anyway - and I'm not interested like that in people I know barely anything about.

It's just...it freaks me out when I'm doing my own thing and some guy whose name I barely even know gets right in my space all uninvited and asks me out. I don't know if it's my SA or what, but it makes me feel like a cornered animal and I just want to bolt.

...Guys, don't let this discourage you. Most girls don't panic when this happens like I do. I think most of the time they're pretty happy someone's showing interest.


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## pati (Aug 15, 2012)

Flattered, but terrified. And more insecure than normal. Doesn't ever really happen, though.


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## DreamerInSlumberland (Mar 6, 2013)

If it's someone I'm interested in dating my head beats rapidly. I'm excited, hopeful, and nervous.

If it's someone I'm not, my anxiety goes into overdrive. I hate hurting people's feelings. The men who tend to hit on me are normally way out of my age range.

It makes me feel good someone's interested in me, even if I don't feel the same way.


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## talcina (Nov 25, 2009)

It always sounds like a great idea for maybe a second, and then I ALWAYS find some excuse to get out of it. I've actually just stopped lying and started saying that dating makes me uncomfortable. 
Sitting across from someone makes me uncomfortable, seeing as how people always want to go eat somewhere, that freaks me right out.
However, if it can involve drinks and arriving separately, I'm not as scared. 
I AM genuinely flattered by being asked out, and I feel really guilty that I always say no, but the uncomfortable feelings far outweigh any good feeling that might come of it. 
I hate that. :/


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