# Hit on by an aggressive woman...twice



## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

Aggressive is the best adjective I can think of. (this may be long)

Last night was surreal. I have been called "cute" last week by a girl at a bar, but I was never hit on like I was tonight. This girl must be really attracted to me.

She was the daughter of a patient at the hospital I work at and after I dropped her mom to her room, she asked me to show her where the cafeteria was. Didn't think much of it. But she asked me if I had a girlfriend. And I said no. And then she said I was cute and she wanted to talk more and shoved her number into my shirt pocket. She didn't even give the option of saying "no". Then we arrived at the cafeteria and I told her we'll have fun some time (paraphrasing my attempt at flirting).

Later in the night. I saw her walking around and she held my hand. Which shot my anxiety up and I kind of froze as she smiled at me while we were walking down the hallway. I told her I needed to go back to work and she kissed me on the cheek and told me to call her while waving and giggling

Damn. I can't stop thinking about her after that. That was...I felt good but intimated at the same time. Still trying to process all that.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

I believe the word is "result!"


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## Thatguy55 (May 23, 2013)

Woah, holy poop. That sounds freaking awesome man! I would lose my **** if that happened to me!


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

:eek You're living my fantasy. Now don't screw it up.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

TicklemeRingo said:


> I believe the word is "result!"


Yeah. I'm still at shocked right now.



Thatguy55 said:


> Woah, holy poop. That sounds freaking awesome man! I would lose my **** if that happened to me!


Man it's such a weird feeling. I felt attractive and confident because a girl took the time out to hit on me. Yet I was also anxious as hell because I had no clue how to respond. At least when I approached girls I had _something_ to work with. I was just stunned. Awesome f***ing feeling.



Ape in space said:


> :eek You're living my fantasy. Now don't screw it up.


Man I waited 23 lonely years to experience this. I'll do my best.


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## Claudia87 (Aug 19, 2013)

That girl is my spirit animal. :yes


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## DarrellLicht (Mar 9, 2013)

Sounds like she's on the 'rebound' playing the field if you will. 

I wouldn't stress too much about the situation.


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## gunner21 (Aug 4, 2012)

When will it be my turn?


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

Good ****, bro. I know it can be weird when they come at you, yet we don't want to go to them, so it's a neccessary evil. Sometimes people want to investigate the quiet one, it can go either way.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Girl has game. You were officially gamed, son. That is exactly what many guys should be doing. You see a girl you like, you are direct and you go for it without beating around the bush. She even went so far as grabbing your hand. Girl has lots of confidence to do that.

A lot of the times a girl will hit on you and then will ease back and want you to take over. I never understood why they did that, but I think they want to know you like them. I was dumped many times by girls who approached me in the past because I didn't reciprocate me liking them back, which was mainly due to anxiety and not knowing how to handle the situation. It is kind of obvious now looking back as to why, but I didn't understand it for so long.


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## Zeppelin (Jan 23, 2012)

Ape in space said:


> :eek You're living my fantasy. Now don't screw it up.


He's living every man's fantasy....

Make sure you call her & text her if you haven't already.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

Now can we please stop with the _"women don't hit on men"_ thing once and for all?

Yeah, I'm a dreamer :roll (but I'm not the only one).


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

TicklemeRingo said:


> Now can we please stop with the _"women don't hit on men"_ thing once and for all?[/SIZE]


Haha, yeah, that ain't gonna happen:roll


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

bwidger85 said:


> Girl has game. You were officially gamed, son. That is exactly what many guys should be doing. You see a girl you like, you are direct and you go for it without beating around the bush. *She even went so far as grabbing your hand. *Girl has lots of confidence to do that.


Damn. So that's what that was.

So you don't think grabbing my hand and kissing me on the cheek was too much? I guess it worked because she's a girl so it's not weird and I am thinking about her.



> A lot of the times a girl will hit on you and then will ease back and want you to take over. I never understood why they did that, but I think they want to know you like them. I was dumped many times by girls who approached me in the past because I didn't reciprocate me liking them back, which was mainly due to anxiety and not knowing how to handle the situation. It is kind of obvious now looking back as to why, but I didn't understand it for so long.


Yeah, this is kind of what I was thinking about. I hope that even if I do get nervous she isn't turned off. I think with the little flirting back I (tried to) did she got that I was interested.

I also hope that she isn't too sexually aggressive because I lack experience in sex. I'd be way to anxious to do it on the first night or week.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

TicklemeRingo said:


> Now can we please stop with the _"women don't hit on men"_ thing once and for all?
> 
> Yeah, I'm a dreamer :roll (but I'm not the only one).


Man do you know how much b****ing I've been doing on this forum about girls never giving me attention? And then in one week I get a girl's number at a bar who thinks I'm cute and this girl last night who blew me away. I never felt this confident.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

Did you get a haircut or something? Start showering more regularly?

What gives?


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

TicklemeRingo said:


> *Did you get a haircut or something? *Start showering more regularly?
> 
> What gives?


Yeah new haircut last Saturday. I lost weight (even though I'm still kind of big) so I'm surprised I even get this kind of attention.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

Bingo. A haircut can completely change the way people perceive you.

It appears you have found the style that suits the shape of your face. Stick with it 



(In fact if I were you, I'd take a photo of it now, and every time you go to get a haircut in future, simply show them the pic and say "like this please")


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Jesuszilla said:


> Damn. So that's what that was.
> 
> So you don't think grabbing my hand and kissing me on the cheek was too much? I guess it worked because she's a girl so it's not weird and I am thinking about her.......
> 
> ...


I think the more positive experiences you have with having people accept physical escalation, the more confident and prone you are to do it. She has probably done that a lot with other guys before and received positive feedback and so she keeps doing it. Why? Because it works for her. That's just my assumption anyway.

If she did all that with you then your chances of messing things up is really low. The only way you are going to mess this up is if you completely ignore her or if you turn her advances down so she feels like you don't like her. You can also move things forward with her and she will also accept that. Once someone likes you it is hard to mess things up.


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## noscreenname (Feb 24, 2013)

It probably has to do with your job and how you handle yourself. If you got something going on in your life and focus on that instead of anxiety "magically" you will attract attention from women.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

bwidger85 said:


> I think the more positive experiences you have with having people accept physical escalation, the more confident and prone you are to do it. She has probably done that a lot with other guys before and received positive feedback and so she keeps doing it. Why? Because it works for her. That's just my assumption anyway.
> 
> If she did all that with you then your chances of messing things up is really low. The only way you are going to mess this up is if you completely ignore her or if you turn her advances down so she feels like you don't like her. You can also move things forward with her and she will also accept that. Once someone likes you it is hard to mess things up.


That girl may have struck gold with her approach. lol

The second paragraph is something I needed to hear. I'm wondering if my anxiety issues may ruin things but maybe as long as I respond to her advances (and not be a clueless idiot) I'll be fine.



noscreenname said:


> It probably has to do with your job and how you handle yourself. If you got something going on in your life and focus on that instead of anxiety "magically" you will attract attention from women.


I've been working at my job for 3 years and this is the first time anything close like this has happened. But since I'm comfortable with my job maybe my body language gave off a laid back feel and she felt I open enough to accept her advances. :stu


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## housebunny (Oct 22, 2010)

I'm surprised to hear so many guys like this. I would have thought it would freak you out.


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## Lazercarp1 (Jul 2, 2013)

nice one wish I had ur life haha (minus the SA that is)


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

housebunny said:


> I'm surprised to hear so many guys like this. I would have thought it would freak you out.


Not so weird if the person receiving it wants that attention by that person lol

I have to give props to the girl though, because doing something like that is bold. It does take away the bull crap you hear about how girls are more passive. Depends on the person. I've seen girls do this type of stuff since elementary school. Some people have always viewed doing this as a norm, which ironically makes them more successful in dating because they take way more chances.


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## housebunny (Oct 22, 2010)

bwidger85 said:


> Not so weird if the person receiving it wants that attention by that person lol


Okay...but the hand grabbbing? After talking to you once? I'm gonna go grab someone's hand at the bustop and see how they react.


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## changeme77 (Feb 22, 2013)

I thought stuff like this only happens in movies/dreams.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

housebunny said:


> I'm surprised to hear so many guys like this. I would have thought it would freak you out.


Oh believe me it would  For me, anyway.

I'm just glad someone out there is having fun.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

housebunny said:


> I'm surprised to hear so many guys like this. I would have thought it would freak you out.


I enjoyed being hit on. But when she held my hand and kissed me on the cheek yeah I was freaked out. That's a move that only girls can pull off. I can't imagine a guy holding a girl's hand he met once work, much less kissing her on the cheek.


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## SlickRoach (Sep 21, 2013)

housebunny said:


> I'm surprised to hear so many guys like this. I would have thought it would freak you out.


Well guys like us are hesitant to approach so it's like a dream come true, well in my opinion at least. I get so nervous making icebreakers with women but when they actually approach me my anxiety dies down a lot and feel much more comfortable talking to them. Don't know how guys without SA would react though.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

housebunny said:


> Okay...but the hand grabbbing? After talking to you once? I'm gonna go grab someone's hand at the bustop and see how they react.


She probably did it after talking a bit and the flirting was going on. A girl randomly out of nowhere grabbing my hand would be pretty awkward, yes. In general, yes, it is a little weird, but if you are open to it and it isn't too far out of left field then it's not that bad. But yeah, definitely not something most people would consider to norm, for sure.

OP, maybe she's an axe murder? Did you think about that? Only axe murders do things like that fyi. Make sure to carry pepper spray


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

housebunny said:


> I'm surprised to hear so many guys like this. I would have thought it would freak you out.





bwidger85 said:


> She probably did it after talking a bit and the flirting was going on. A girl randomly out of nowhere grabbing my hand would be pretty awkward, yes. In general, yes, it is a little weird, but if you are open to it and it isn't too far out of left field then it's not that bad. But yeah, definitely not something most people would consider to norm, for sure.
> 
> OP, maybe she's an axe murder? Did you think about that? Only axe murders do things like that fyi. Make sure to carry pepper spray


That's pretty much what happened. She didn't sneak up behind me and held my hand it was the second time I saw her last night.

I'll definitely keep my eyes open for suspicious behavior like a girl approaching a guy. Suspect. :b


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## housebunny (Oct 22, 2010)

Jesuszilla said:


> I'll definitely keep my eyes open for suspicious behavior like a girl approaching a guy. Suspect. :b


Okay! Good!


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

:b


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

I gave her a call and one of the first things she said was that "it took me long enough to call her". So things were a little awkward on my part. Then she said something on the line of "so what do you want to do for fun?" I wasn't sure she was trying to be sexual or not (by the _way _she said it) but I went ahead and took the risks and said "I want to play around with _you_ for fun" and she to my surprise went along with it. We didn't have full phone sex, more like phone foreplay. Then we set up to meet on Saturday.

This girl may be a lot of fun to be with.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

Jesuszilla said:


> I gave her a call and one of the first things she said was that "it took me long enough to call her". So things were a little awkward on my part. Then she said something on the line of "so what do you want to do for fun?" I wasn't sure she was trying to be sexual or not (by the _way _she said it) but I went ahead and took the risks and said "I want to play around with _you_ for fun" and she to my surprise went along with it. We didn't have full phone sex, more like phone foreplay. Then we set up to meet on Saturday.
> 
> This girl may be a lot of fun to be with.


:eek :eek :eek

You are a god among men :nw


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## gunner21 (Aug 4, 2012)

Jesuszilla said:


> I gave her a call and one of the first things she said was that "it took me long enough to call her". So things were a little awkward on my part. Then she said something on the line of "so what do you want to do for fun?" I wasn't sure she was trying to be sexual or not (by the _way _she said it) but I went ahead and took the risks and said "I want to play around with _you_ for fun" and she to my surprise went along with it. We didn't have full phone sex, more like phone foreplay. Then we set up to meet on Saturday.
> 
> This girl may be a lot of fun to be with.


Teach me your godly ways Jesus.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

Ape in space said:


> :eek :eek :eek
> 
> You are a god among men :nw





gunner21 said:


> Teach me your godly ways Jesus.


Nothing to teach. I have been working on getting a date since before I found out about SA. So this has been a work in progress. I'm not in a situation where I never talked or asked girls out before and I'm going in completely blind. I have _some_ knowledge of what I'm doing. Even if I do lack sexual experience in most things I think I am pretty competent in this regard. It also helps that my only friend is a female.

All I can really say is start talking to girls at work or school to get comfortable talking to girls.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

haha. nice

i'm pretty sure she wants to play checkers with you. make sure to bring your A game


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## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

Gotta love these aggressive proactive girls. My first girlfriend was that type of girl.

The most hilariously straightforward woman I've met so far was a cougar, when I was working as an employee for summer in the equivalent of my country's Walmart. She'd say the dirtiest things, such as "_oh boy, these tight jeans suit you so well. They really do make your *ss look great!_"

Each week she'd come back and throw some suggestive joke at me. Once, when I was giving her the package she was asking for, she grabbed my hand and started caressing it while giving me this dirty look. I wasn't sure if I was creeped out or weirdly aroused hehe.

Back on topic... we have faith in you Jesus! Show her what you got . (no pressure thinking about all these horny dudes who post in your thread and have high expectations of you)


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

Jesuszilla said:


> I gave her a call and one of the first things she said was that "it took me long enough to call her". So things were a little awkward on my part. Then she said something on the line of "so what do you want to do for fun?" I wasn't sure she was trying to be sexual or not (by the _way _she said it) but I went ahead and took the risks and said "I want to play around with _you_ for fun" and she to my surprise went along with it. We didn't have full phone sex, more like phone foreplay. Then we set up to meet on Saturday.
> 
> This girl may be a lot of fun to be with.


Sounds great. I miss this sort of thing -- boring and married now. Good luck


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## IndieVisible (Aug 28, 2013)

ok first of all this girl is a player! She sure has a game and yes you have been gamed! Now the good news. She is ready willing and able for some serious action and you better deliver or she will get bored and move on. You hit the jackpot! I'm serious, you can say any thing to her even your wildest fantasy and tell her you'd like to do that with her tonite. She would say "ok!"

Some advice, what ever you do, don't do any thing stupid like fall in love with her right away! SHE'S A PLAYER! Just play with her until one of you get bored!


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## Beingofglass (May 5, 2013)

It's insane that women actually believe the false myth that Guys don't like proactive, confident women. They are 1 in 1000, and every man dreams of that 1 out of 1000.
You can always be sure that this kind of woman is'nt passive aggressive and all that **** nobody wants in any kind of partner, and sadly traits women have in abundance.

You're damn Lucky man. I would totally atempt to stay with that one, if she turns out to be otherwise good.


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## Beingofglass (May 5, 2013)

IndieVisible said:


> ok first of all this girl is a player! She sure has a game and yes you have been gamed! Now the good news. She is ready willing and able for some serious action and you better deliver or she will get bored and move on. You hit the jackpot! I'm serious, you can say any thing to her even your wildest fantasy and tell her you'd like to do that with her tonite. She would say "ok!"
> 
> Some advice, what ever you do, don't do any thing stupid like fall in love with her right away! SHE'S A PLAYER! Just play with her until one of you get bored!


See, generalisations and / or presumed expectations due to past bad experiences like these are what mess up otherwise really good chances.
Not Falling in love quickly is just generally common knowledge. Have some self esteem.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

Right now I'm just going to have fun. She has really motivated me to be brave socially and do things I was otherwise afraid to do or say. I'm going to try and be much more open sexually than I usually am


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## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

Don't masturbate for at least 2 days before seeing her. Especially since right now you're into the 'taking it slow with sex' mindset. Your worst enemy is impotence (happens more often than people think). Don't let your nerves mess with your ability to get hard (even the almighty rymo had this happen with past sex partners). She seems the frisky type too, so she expects you to deliver. So if you can, hold off on jerking it a few days before your date. Your wiener will thank you.

If you don't have this problem, then forget what I said.


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## Sourdog (Sep 13, 2011)

Remember, don't be silly wrap your willy.


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## gunner21 (Aug 4, 2012)

ManOfFewWords said:


> Don't masturbate for at least 2 days before seeing her. Especially since right now you're into the 'taking it slow with sex' mindset. Your worst enemy is impotence (happens more often than people think). Don't let your nerves mess with your ability to get hard (even the almighty rymo had this happen with past sex partners). She seems the frisky type too, so she expects you to deliver. So if you can, hold off on jerking it a few days before your date. Your wiener will thank you.
> 
> If you don't have this problem, then forget what I said.


But then he might pop the cherry too soon.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

gunner21 said:


> But then he might pop the cherry too soon.


Does it really matter? It would be my first time anyway


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

Ugh, pigs - all of you.

...
...

...

...

Does she have a friend? :um


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

ManOfFewWords said:


> Don't masturbate for at least 2 days before seeing her. Especially since right now you're into the 'taking it slow with sex' mindset. Your worst enemy is impotence (happens more often than people think). Don't let your nerves mess with your ability to get hard (even the almighty rymo had this happen with past sex partners). She seems the frisky type too, so she expects you to deliver. So if you can, hold off on jerking it a few days before your date. Your wiener will thank you.
> 
> If you don't have this problem, then forget what I said.


It's better to get one off a few hours before you hit.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

this thread got interesting real quick...


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## IndieVisible (Aug 28, 2013)

Beingofglass said:


> See, generalisations and / or presumed expectations due to past bad experiences like these are what mess up otherwise really good chances.
> Not Falling in love quickly is just generally common knowledge. Have some self esteem.


Yes it does come from personal experience over 5 decades with myself, friends and family members. So what do you go by? Oh yes, your relative mild experience from 23 years, what you read, and what your friends tell. My you think u have it figured out already at 24. Trust me kid you don't.

The girl's a player! If you fall in love while playing and that's all she is doing you will be heart broken lol. I've met hundreds of female players! I usually don't engage no sport in it too easy and because I prefer to be the player


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## MiMiK (Aug 25, 2011)

listen to 87wayz!!! or else you'll be done way to fast!


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## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

87wayz said:


> It's better to get one off a few hours before you hit.


I guess it depends on each guy's level of control, libido levels, etc. If I got one off just a few hours before the act, I wouldn't be able to get very hard come time to perform. I've never had premature issues. I can remain hard for an entire day until I decide to finish. But right after I do, I can't get back to 100% for at least another day or two. For me to beat the meat hours before doing it would be sexual suicide.


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

ManOfFewWords said:


> I guess it depends on each guy's level of control, libido levels, etc. If I got one off just a few hours before the act, I wouldn't be able to get very hard come time to perform. I've never had premature issues. I can remain hard for an entire day until I decide to finish. But right after I do, I can't get back to 100% for at least another day or two. For me to beat the meat hours before doing it would be sexual suicide.


Yeah -- for me it's the opposite. If I'm on the first one, I might have to count backwards or look away at some point to stay in it. Lmmfao.


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## Beingofglass (May 5, 2013)

IndieVisible said:


> Yes it does come from personal experience over 5 decades with myself, friends and family members. So what do you go by? Oh yes, your relative mild experience from 23 years, what you read, and what your friends tell. My you think u have it figured out already at 24. Trust me kid you don't.
> 
> The girl's a player! If you fall in love while playing and that's all she is doing you will be heart broken lol. I've met hundreds of female players! I usually don't engage no sport in it too easy and because I prefer to be the player


I'm way above personal attacks like that. 

All I'm saying is, that I can't wrap my head around why so many men are all so afraid of assertive women. You're generalising this girl harshly.
"Meet every new oppotunity with a clean slate"


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## h00dz (Dec 25, 2012)

Daaaaamn. This **** is like my fantasy. Why can't I live the dream for once.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

You so lucky.


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## asdf (Jan 19, 2008)

update?


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## riderless (Jul 21, 2013)

You think a sexually assertive woman is a dream come true but I think many of us guys find it an uncomfortable role reversal. Some Greek myth about the chaser and the chasee? Shy as I am, I prefer to be the chaser, initiator,etc.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

riderless said:


> You think a sexually assertive woman is a dream come true but I think many of us guys find it an uncomfortable role reversal. Some Greek myth about the chaser and the chasee? Shy as I am, I prefer to be the chaser, initiator,etc.


Yeah women who do the work are pretty intimidating. I don't care how comfortable I feel about her or how pretty she is I aint going to let some sexy woman touch me. I feel less of a man when a girl asks me out but Im not man enough to approach either.


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

Your one lucky guy, well done to you. Now you just need to get stuck in if you haven't already.


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## IllmaticJJ (Dec 29, 2013)

Lucky


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

IllmaticJJ said:


> Lucky


Meh, it ended up going nowhere and after maybe a week and a half after meeting her she disappeared on me. I tried to call her one morning and she didn't answer. I assumed she was busy so I called later in the day, nothing, then sent one final text. She never respond and I never heard from her again


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