# My friend always threatens to leave me



## Autumn26 (Aug 1, 2013)

I am really close with one of my friends but it really feels like I am walking on eggshells around him sometimes. He can be really emotional and the littlest statements from me can upset him and he threatens to end our friendship every time. It really sucks because I love spending time with him, but if he keeps being overly sensitive about things it just makes our time less enjoyable. I don't want to lose him but at the same time, it's exhausting. I get really lonely sometimes and he's been there a lot. I'm just not sure what to do D=


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

Tactfully confront him about it, ask about why he gets so upset so easily, and if he ends the friendship, so be it. If you're more exhausted and upset by this friendship than you are happy and entertained, it's not worth keeping it.


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## mattmc (Jun 27, 2013)

When these conversations happen, when he threatens to stop being friends with you, what does he say?

Does he seem very sensitive but like he cares for you? Like maybe you just mean a lot to him and it hurts to think you might not be compatible as friends? Or is it more like he's just a jerk?


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## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

this is one of the ''symptoms'' of a personality disorder. he actually fears greatly begin abandoned. i may be wrong of course... that he has a disorder but , it sounds as if he probably might be very attached to you... his threats are more or less idle..


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

Autumn26 said:


> I am really close with one of my friends but it really feels like I am walking on eggshells around him sometimes. He can be really emotional and the littlest statements from me can upset him and he threatens to end our friendship every time. It really sucks because I love spending time with him, but if he keeps being overly sensitive about things it just makes our time less enjoyable. I don't want to lose him but at the same time, it's exhausting. I get really lonely sometimes and he's been there a lot. I'm just not sure what to do D=


What if he secretly loves you and that's why he gets upset/hurt easily? What then? Ta-dam...


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## ToeSnails (Jul 23, 2013)

Well MAYBE if you weren't such a mean girl and be so INSENSITIVE to your friend then MAYBE he wouldn't be so mad.


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## crescentmoon (May 12, 2015)

ToeSnails said:


> Well MAYBE if you weren't such a mean girl and be so INSENSITIVE to your friend then MAYBE he wouldn't be so mad.


What the hell? How has OP been mean to her friend? It's the guy who is using_ threats_ to end the relationship because most likely it sounds as though he's not dealing with his own stuff and expects the friendship to be some kind of a coping mechanism as to how he's feeling. In what way is she being insensitive? She has as much right to end the relationship, especially if he's being threatening and somewhat manipulative in that way. It sounds like an unhealthy relationship.


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## Hush7 (May 11, 2013)

End the friendship. If he were a true friend, he wouldn't treat you that way. Also, you should know better than to be friends with someone with 66 hours in Clicker Heroes:


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## Grog (Sep 13, 2013)

Next time he threatens this Call him a little b**** and tell him to F off then if he's going to just go .


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## CWe (Mar 7, 2010)

Sorry about your situation. It irks me when people are mean or abusive. Hopefully things turn out better soon for you


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## Autumn26 (Aug 1, 2013)

gopherinferno said:


> Tactfully confront him about it, ask about why he gets so upset so easily, and if he ends the friendship, so be it. If you're more exhausted and upset by this friendship than you are happy and entertained, it's not worth keeping it.


I feel like that is the most reasonable solution, I only fear he's going to start crying like he did last time when I tried to do so  He can be very delicate sometimes...



mattmc said:


> When these conversations happen, when he threatens to stop being friends with you, what does he say?
> 
> Does he seem very sensitive but like he cares for you? Like maybe you just mean a lot to him and it hurts to think you might not be compatible as friends? Or is it more like he's just a jerk?


He just snaps at me and says that he doesn't need me. Then after less than 5 minutes, he begs me to come back. I don't really understand him. He says one thing and does the exact opposite. He's got the emotional stability of a woman in labour.



KILOBRAVO said:


> this is one of the ''symptoms'' of a personality disorder. he actually fears greatly begin abandoned. i may be wrong of course... that he has a disorder but , it sounds as if he probably might be very attached to you... his threats are more or less idle..


That would explain why he ends up coming back I guess. I think he's always had attachment issues. He has a weird history with his mom, but I won't get too into that.



sad vlad said:


> What if he secretly loves you and that's why he gets upset/hurt easily? What then? Ta-dam...


I've had a few suspicions but he can be so hot and cold sometimes, it's so confusing! He's all yes and then he's all no. I don't knowww =(



crescentmoon said:


> What the hell? How has OP been mean to her friend? It's the guy who is using_ threats_ to end the relationship because most likely it sounds as though he's not dealing with his own stuff and expects the friendship to be some kind of a coping mechanism as to how he's feeling. In what way is she being insensitive? She has as much right to end the relationship, especially if he's being threatening and somewhat manipulative in that way. It sounds like an unhealthy relationship.


You're right. MAYBE if he didn't make so many threats, I wouldn't be so confused. I'm not sure if I want to end the friendship though because I can't help caring about him still.



Hush7 said:


> End the friendship. If he were a true friend, he wouldn't treat you that way. Also, you should know better than to be friends with someone with 66 hours in Clicker Heroes:


He is a weird man who likes weird games. What can I do? If I bring up his taste in sub-par videogaming, I'm only asking for another emotional breakdown =P



Grog said:


> Next time he threatens this Call him a little b**** and tell him to F off then if he's going to just go .


For 5 minutes! And then he comes back. Besides, I don't think I could bring myself to say that to him. That's just too mean!



CWe said:


> Sorry about your situation. It irks me when people are mean or abusive. Hopefully things turn out better soon for you


Thank you! I really appreciate the support. I like your avatar.


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## Grog (Sep 13, 2013)

It is a bit mean lol I was felling mean when I wrote that lol , still though is your friend gay by any chance ( not that there is any problem with being gay ) like over the top gay . Cause sounds like it to me with the little melodramatic reactions he's having lol


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## mattmc (Jun 27, 2013)

Autumn26 said:


> He just snaps at me and says that he doesn't need me. Then after less than 5 minutes, he begs me to come back. I don't really understand him. He says one thing and does the exact opposite. He's got the emotional stability of a woman in labour.


Someone saying they don't need you all the time... doesn't seem like a person you want around. If he's directly insulting you and tearing you down that isn't much of a friend.

I hate being too overt as I don't know him or the finer details of things... but from what you've said, it's hard to see this as a healthy friendship or a friendship that could become healthy. Just my opinion.


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## ToeSnails (Jul 23, 2013)

Hush7 said:


> End the friendship. If he were a true friend, he wouldn't treat you that way. Also, you should know better than to be friends with someone with 66 hours in Clicker Heroes:


HEY! I have over 70 hours! WHat are you implying?!


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Hush7 said:


> End the friendship. If he were a true friend, he wouldn't treat you that way. Also, you should know better than to be friends with someone with 66 hours in Clicker Heroes:


Good advice


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## Hush7 (May 11, 2013)

Autumn26 said:


> He is a weird man who likes weird games. What can I do? If I bring up his taste in sub-par videogaming, I'm only asking for another emotional breakdown =P


I will have a talk with him on your behalf. :squeeze



ToeSnails said:


> HEY! I have over 70 hours! WHat are you implying?!


I don't even have words for you. Just...no. :blank












knightofdespair said:


> Good advice


Thanks! I try my best.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Life is too short to deal with sensetive people's drama.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Hush7 said:


> Thanks! I try my best.


That's what she said!


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## RenegadeReloaded (Mar 12, 2011)

Are you sure 'friend' is the word to use for someone who threatens to leave you, witch for a SA person is like the worst thing that can happen....

This sounds like emotional abuse. Do yourself a favor and the next time he threatens you, say something like: Ok, bye !


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