# issues wih clothing



## spaceygirl (Dec 4, 2009)

Not sure how to describe this exactly but for as long as I can remember I have had issues with clothing. I will only feel comfortable in a very few select articles and types of clothing, meaning I end up having a lot of clothes out of which I can generally wear about 10% on a regular basis. 

Most clothing that I try to wear feels extremely uncomfortable (even if it fits properly, supposedly) and if I absolutely have to wear something that doesn't feel right (like work-out clothes, dressy clothes) I will wear it for as short a time as possible and the entire time be looking forward to the minute I can take said clothing off. These sensations only get worse when I am feeling bloated which is much of the time (I probably have IBS). 

I have no idea what this is or if it's even a real thing. I think I remember reading somewhere it can be a symptom of aspergers but I am pretty sure I do not have aspergers. It seems like a minor thing but it actually interferes with my life pretty bad. I have skipped events, work, leaving the house and other things because I could not find anything to wear that felt ok. At home I only wear pajamas, often with a blanket, robe or something tied around my waist because my stomach is where the uncomfortable-ness feels the worst and for some reason having something tied around my waist makes it feel a bit better. I avoid leaving the house much of the time because most "outdoor" clothes like jeans, pants, shirts etc. feel tight, uncomfortable, itchy, and gross.

I hate going clothes shopping and trying on clothes. Most of the clothes I do buy I end up never wearing, so basically I have a rotation of pajama bottoms/sweats, 2-3 pairs of pants I can tolerate, a few sports bras and tank-tops/short sleeved shirts that I wear. Other than the underwear most of these came from thrift stores because at least then I can buy clothes and not feel too bad about not wearing most of them if I only paid a few bucks, rather than spending $60 on each time on a new pair of pants that I will never want to wear.

My boyfriend makes fun of me cause I won't wear anything but sports bras cause regular bras feel horrible  my family/friends just think I'm picky/eclectic but they don't know the full extent of it. I would like to be able to wear a greater variety of clothing and not be so focused on how each piece of clothing I wear feels, especially when I know something fits and I like how it looks but it just feels...wrong. I want to be able to get dressed and go out somewhere without this being yet another issues along with SA to deal with. 

I am wondering if anyone else has these weird issues with clothing? Could it be related to SA or a symptom of something else?


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## spaceygirl (Dec 4, 2009)

Just found this link to someone with aspergers' blog; holy smokes it is like it was written by me, especially the part about only buying clothing similar to previously liked clothing: http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot.com/2008/01/aspies-and-clothing.html

I never understood how people can follow the latest fashions so easily. How can they go from wearing loose jeans one year, to leggings, to ten different kinds of shoes in a short time? I basically have the same pair of black boots that I have bought over and over again the past ten years. In fact my biggest frustration with clothes shopping is not being able to find the exact item I am looking for (which is usually a replica of an item of clothing that no longer fits, has worn out, etc.)

I also do the exact same thing with wearing my coat indoors or when it is not particularly cold. Actually I have a pretty weird thing with coats, I always need to have a coat with me even if it's a searing hot day. It's like a security blanket thing perhaps. And I only have about 3 coats I wear so I get a lot of funny looks and comments from people.


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## Cosmic (Feb 7, 2011)

It's possible that you have some sort of sensory disorder or tactile defensiveness rather than Asperger's. 

I'm kind of the same way -- it was really bad when I was younger. I couldn't wear shoes with laces because I'd freak out if one was tied tighter than the other. I still wear all of my clothes inside-out because I can't stand the way seams feel.


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## sara01 (Feb 4, 2010)

Hey, that sounds pretty difficult to deal with and quite frustrating. It sounds like you are worried what other people are thinking about you also when it comes to what you wear.

I actually have been through the same thing. It is embarrassing definitely. I remember putting on clothes and looking in the mirror, taking off these clothes, putting on new ones, taking off these, putting on new ones...etc, until I finally would become too late for some appointment to even feel ok about going...so then I would miss the appointment.

I don't personally think this sounds like anything other than a part of social anxiety, social phobia issues.

I just quickly did a search on this, and here are some links you might find interesting. The first link is from this site! So you really are not alone in this:
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...hes-for-the-first-time-in-public-scary-29670/

http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/are-you-obsessed-with-dress-clothing-when-going-out-11668/page-2/

I used to feel a lot like you I think...and it has gotten better over the years. I guess what I started doing is wearing new clothing just around my house to get used to it. I also ask some fashion advice from people that I think know what they are doing. Gradually I began to get more comfortable picking out my own clothes. I actually used to get fashion advice from my younger sister who does know what she is doing. She used to tell me that I needed her help. SO I actually finally started borrowing some clothes from her, and asking if things went together. Haha, now she looks jealously through my closet and asks if she can borrow MY clothes! I never ever though the day would come :b
But it took me many years of experimenting with finding ways to get over this. Hopefully seeing that other people experience the same thing as you may make you feel less weird about it. And seeing that there is hope of getting better when it comes to feeling awkward or uncomfortable wearing, and shopping for new clothes, may help. It takes a lot of work, and putting yourself in some uncomfortable situations I have to say, just from my experience...but it is fully worth it to feel a bit more comfortable in my own clothes. 
I hope this addressed some of what you were talking about. If not, definitely write me a message! I think we may have some similar experience here so I'd love to hear more from you :yes

Edit: I actually realized I may have dismissed your fear of the idea of Asperger's. I think that even if you do have some behaviors that go along with this, there are just so many overlapping criteria for social anxiety and asperger's. I guess the way you would go about treating this doesn't depend as much on the diagnosis, so maybe it might help to focus on what you want to change when it comes to the clothing issue. I know for myself, I have gotten caught up in diagnosing myself...and I feel like I may have wasted time on the diagnosis (although it would feel good at the time) rather than looking at ways to help myself.


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## spaceygirl (Dec 4, 2009)

Cosmic said:


> It's possible that you have some sort of sensory disorder or tactile defensiveness rather than Asperger's.
> 
> I'm kind of the same way -- it was really bad when I was younger. I couldn't wear shoes with laces because I'd freak out if one was tied tighter than the other. I still wear all of my clothes inside-out because I can't stand the way seams feel.


I also dislike laced shoe laces, and the uneven feeling they can produce when one is tighter lor looser than the other.



sara01 said:


> Hey, that sounds pretty difficult to deal with and quite frustrating. It sounds like you are worried what other people are thinking about you also when it comes to what you wear.
> 
> I actually have been through the same thing. It is embarrassing definitely. I remember putting on clothes and looking in the mirror, taking off these clothes, putting on new ones, taking off these, putting on new ones...etc, until I finally would become too late for some appointment to even feel ok about going...so then I would miss the appointment.
> 
> ...


I can't open the links for some reason (something wrong with my computer) but thanks for the post. I think you are right in that it is one more thing that I worry about related to what people think of me, not really from a fashionable perspective (as I don't care whather people think I'm fashionable), but I wonder if they are thinking I can't afford new clothing, have poor hygiene, or who knows what, which likely ties into the social anxiety overall. I wouldn't wish this on anyone else but it is reassuring to know other people experience similar thing!

Also good to hear you seem to have been working overcome this issue and are able to try new clothes now. I recently bought a pair of the skinny jeans which are popular but for some reason I think they expanded in the wash, which I have never known jeans to do. So that was a waste of money and things like that discourage me from buying new clothes, which is why is another reason I tend to buy from thrift stores. I hate trying something on in the store then it fits differently after you take it home and wash it :no

Do you go clothes shopping with your sister, or other people? I don't really like going with other people as I often feel pressured to buy something as opposed to when I go alone (regular, not thrift stores). Also I have gone with friends before and ended up spending lots of money on things I never wore.


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## Kon (Oct 21, 2010)

I have the same problem and so does my mother. I feel very uncomfortable and "naked" if I'm not dressed properly. I can only wear a small range of clothing and I struggle, if I don't have access to it. I used to buy the same types of pants, t-shirts, sweaters, shoes. I'd have 5-6 of the same type, just different colours. This has been a problem with me my whole life. I used to get in big fights with my girlfriends/wife because of it. 

My mother is even stranger than me. She wears nothing but black and it has to be a tight nylon black pants or sweat pants. Her shirts/blouses are always black and nylon. Everybody makes fun of the way she dresses. Everybody made fun of me also because I would cut the bottom of my shirts when I was younger. All my pants had side-pockets and were very baggy. I hate wearing normal shoes. I prefer hiking-type boots. I'm still the same except now I also like baggy t-shirts (I wear the extra large polo brand). I have about 10 of them and I only like certain socks also. They have to be cotton, white and comfortable fitting. I hate the too high ones or the too low ones. I go nuts if I can't wear my favourite socks, pants, t-shirt and shoes. If they are not washed for some reason, I don't feel like leaving the house or I go out and feel totally messed up for the whole day. I don't know why?


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## Morke (Dec 10, 2010)

Now I'm wondering if I'm an aspie. I thought it was just me up until I read this thread. I've worn nothing but black t-shirts and beige or gray cargo pants since I was 12 years old. I don't even remember why I originally chose black. It's like wearing colored t-shirts would make me too "visible" or something (I've never been a goth or emo or anything). Now I don't even think about it and only own black shirts and would feel very weird wearing anything else.

I also wore a heavy coat all year round throughout middle school and high school. I would get bloody noses in the spring and people would constantly tell me to take my coat off and look at my strangely, but I felt very uncomfortable with my arms exposed, like I was naked. I would get very anxious before school on sunny days and only occasionally would go coatless when it was exceptionally hot and I would be miserable all day with my arms exposed. Not having to go to school every day broke me of this habit, but I still feel very weird with my arms exposed and nervous when it's sunny outside even if I'm not going anywhere (which is often since I'm agoraphobic now). I'm sensible enough to wear a light overcoat now instead of the heavy one, but it has to be gray.

Part of it has to do with my sense of aesthetics I think (maybe to the point of near-OCDness), as well as just being hyper-self aware. I've always felt really out of place for feeling this way among other men since this whole way of thinking seems alien to the whole gender. If I could somehow turn off my care and just be oblivious to this sort of thing like a lot of other men seem to be, I would have such a peaceful existence.


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## wrongnumber (May 24, 2009)

I also have clothing issues. My main issue though is that I have to dress according to my mood. When my mood changes I usually change my clothes if I can, which means I sometimes end up changing my clothes multiple times a day. If my mood doesn't match my clothes I feel restless and uncomfortable. When I told my friend this she thought I was nuts, so I guess it's not normal to do this.

I do have texture issues too, clothes which are too tight, itchy / abrasive or don't 'breath' bother me a lot. I also am very fussy with colours. I don't like muted colours, pinks, maroon, teal, dark green, mustards, or anything too bright because just looking at these colours irritates me, I'm not sure why.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

It looks like it's mainly a sensory processing issue, which can occur with various conditions or alone.

Clothing drives me nuts too. I can only wear the same trousers indoors - black Nike ones - and only have _one_ pair so spend most of my time in PJ bottoms. When outdoors, I can only wear a choice of 2 pairs of jeans - it has to be jeans because looser clothing feels nasty outdoors. I also can't tolerate having bare feet indoors for more than a few minutes or unless I'm asleep - it feels nasty - but then have to deal with annoying elastic digging in my ankles. I can't tolerate the sensation of any bare skin exposed to air unless being too hot feels even worse.

I always need to wear a slim fitting t-shirt underneath whatever else I'm wearing, especially shirts, because it forms a good barrier and I sweat and end up stinking within a few minutes of wear otherwise. I don't own enough and have to go without some days.

Footwear's very tough to find. The most comfortable was velcro sandals with chunky soles (and my socks) but this is the wrong climate for them, so I stick to the same trainers until they get too messed up to be presentable or useable.

Sleeves and trouser legs annoy me because they're always slightly too long and trail around. Nearly all my clothing's black (I would love more blue but it's harder to find) because colours on me look disturbing in some way. In addition all clothing has to conceal certain areas so my skin condition's not visible.

When out walking I'll often stop to itch. Labels itch. My friend gets annoyed I can't just walk out the door because I have to make sure everything's adjusted well such that it's not bunched up or badly placed. I really need some new clothing but have no income - I wear the same stuff every day and put up with not looking how I want.

I don't remember this being bad until adolescence hit. All my symptoms from various conditions either worsened or began at its onset.


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## spaceygirl (Dec 4, 2009)

Sorry to hear that others have this same problem, I know how frustrating it can be. Anyone ever tried to do anything about it and make a conscious effort to change?



Kon said:


> I have about 10 of them and I only like certain socks also. They have to be cotton, white and comfortable fitting. I hate the too high ones or the too low ones. I go nuts if I can't wear my favourite socks, pants, t-shirt and shoes.


Ditto with the socks, I only wear the cotton ankle socks, those booty type ones are awful.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

I never seem happy with clothing. If a pair of jeans fits while standing, it's too damn tight when sitting (it's a ball crusher). If a pair of jeans fits while sitting, then it's baggy when standing.


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## Tom1210 (Feb 9, 2011)

Im only comfortable wearing "baggy" clothes lol.


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## SchranzMeister (Feb 11, 2011)

Most of my clothes were given to me. I am happy about that. I hate shopping.


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## bmwfan07 (Jun 3, 2007)

I've had sensory issues forever, too. Smells, texture, and other sensations can overwhelm me pretty easily. I had to quit my movie theater job after two weeks at 15 because of my social anxiety but also because the smell of the huge thing of faux nacho cheese they'd use was just plain disgusting. I don't even think it was real food.

My main issues these days are with clothing, as you mention. I can't wear tight clothes without feeling constricted and annoyed because of it. I've worn the same shorts for days on end many times because I don't really care, and because they're comfortable. I hate tags touching my skin. I can't wear shirts or boxers more than one day, otherwise I obsess about it and literally feel dirty, and I can't think about anything else. 

I wouldn't wear jeans for years because the Gap jeans I'd worn as a kid were uncomfortable so I decided that all jeans must be uncomfortable. I'd thus wear shorts throughout the year, even in 15 degree (F) weather. When I got an office job, I'd only wear khakis. Boy was I happy when I finally rediscovered jeans and that some were awesomely comfortable--more comfy than the khakis I'd been wearing, for sure. I'd wondered why some people would look at me so weirdly when I'd tell them jeans were uncomfortable, lol.

I only like cotton or mostly cotton shirts (or maybe more exotic materials like silk that I haven't really had the opportunity to try yet) and socks. 

There's probably some other stuff. 

But it's worth mentioning that I have OCD and have had it since I was 8 years old or so to various degrees. It almost seems like it's built-in to my personality, heh. OCD is associated with greater levels of sensory integration impairment than people without OCD, as are schizophrenics. Pre-morbid (and morbid) bipolar children often have problems with textures/smells/sensations, too, like I did. I have atypical depression now, which may be a latent bipolar disorder, so that would be interesting (but not good, of course).


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## SchranzMeister (Feb 11, 2011)

*Cool, not cool, cool, not cool*

I think it is hilariously pretentious when people wear a shirt with the collar *up*.

When it's up, they are cool; put it back down, not cool

up....coool
down....not cool
up.....cool
down...not cool Just like that: cool at the flip of your collar

Doesn't _trying_ to be cool negate coolness?


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## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

I read this as Issues with Cloning, whew. I wouldn't like that as a Secondary Disorder. I am glad there is only one of me around. I don't think I could handle two of me. I'd be asking myself questions about things I couldn't answer and wouldn't know who to blame. I think I would end up offing one of them in the process and I'd doubt that'd be considered a crime, sadly enough but rather, um, cause for celebrating.


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## Manning (Jan 23, 2011)

I'm also quite particular about my clothing, unless there is absolutely nothing else to wear, and I must go out (such as an obligatory appointment or school) I would much prefer to remain at home. I prefer long Khakis pants (I rarely wear shorts in public even during the heat of summer) hiking Boots (preferably "la sportiva") I really need a new pair, I've owned my present pair since I was 17 and the soles are starting to rip off and there are holes riddled throughout the sides, (they are still rather comfortable) my socks must be of wool, and I'm always wearing a zip up vest well into summer.


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## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

Your lymph system might be clogged. That's the stuff that gets rubbed when you get a massage, it gets clogged from toxins in food and exercise and sweat and hot sea salt baths helps clean it out. Are you a pisces sun? That's the lymph sign. Maybe pisces is somewhere else in you? People don't like to be touched when its clogged. It's like hormones from stress get dumped in there, some people are more prone to it than others. IT helps to drink hot teas, take cayenne pepper in foods a few days out of the week, not every day.


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## lostinlife (Jun 2, 2010)

I also tend to stick to a small selection of clothing that I wear over and over again until they wear out. The rare times when I get all dressed up, I cringe at the additional attention, even if it is positive. I usually dress to be invisible/not draw attention to myself. I also think everything fits oddly on me because I tend to be in-between sizes a lot.


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## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

Actually I heard that wearing 25% of your clothes is the norm! I wear the same stuff over and over myself.


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## spaceygirl (Dec 4, 2009)

UltraShy said:


> I never seem happy with clothing. If a pair of jeans fits while standing, it's too damn tight when sitting (it's a ball crusher). If a pair of jeans fits while sitting, then it's baggy when standing.


Yeah, I always feel like clothes feel totally different depending if I'm sitting, standing, moving, walking, etc. and it's not like you're able to try out every different possibility when trying on new clothes.



bmwfan07 said:


> I've had sensory issues forever, too. Smells, texture, and other sensations can overwhelm me pretty easily. I had to quit my movie theater job after two weeks at 15 because of my social anxiety but also because the smell of the huge thing of faux nacho cheese they'd use was just plain disgusting. I don't even think it was real food.
> 
> My main issues these days are with clothing, as you mention. I can't wear tight clothes without feeling constricted and annoyed because of it. I've worn the same shorts for days on end many times because I don't really care, and because they're comfortable. I hate tags touching my skin. I can't wear shirts or boxers more than one day, otherwise I obsess about it and literally feel dirty, and I can't think about anything else.
> 
> I wouldn't wear jeans for years because the Gap jeans I'd worn as a kid were uncomfortable so I decided that all jeans must be uncomfortable. I'd thus wear shorts throughout the year, even in 15 degree (F) weather. When I got an office job, I'd only wear khakis. Boy was I happy when I finally rediscovered jeans and that some were awesomely comfortable--more comfy than the khakis I'd been wearing, for sure. I'd wondered why some people would look at me so weirdly when I'd tell them jeans were uncomfortable, lol.


I can definitely relate to all you say, although I have to admit to sometimes getting a craving for that fake nacho "cheese" stuff 

As a kid, I also never wore jeans, and got made fun of for this quite a bit. Same thing, I remember my mom buying a pair of jeans that I hated so I assumed all jeans were as uncomfortable. Even today though I have found very few pairs of jeans I am able to wear comfortably. The ones I find most comfortable are baggier ones but being a girl, most jeans are usually tighter, especially around the waist and thighs which is wear I feel most constricted. I do wear jeans now, but only a few pairs. I'd rather wear cords or khakis, or sweat pants, but I do try to maintain a modicum of "normality" when I'm out in public.


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## candiedsky (Aug 7, 2011)

This is so me. I hate going out primarily because that means having to put on clothes. Anything too tight and I feel like a fat ****. But sweatpants and comfortable clothes look so sloppy, so it's either look okay but feel like **** or look like **** and feel slightly better, but not really because you know you look like ****.


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## Fastaperlant (Sep 7, 2011)

This is amazing, I've tried to explain this to people before and they never understand. I often feel like I'm a little girl that has dressed herself up to fit in with everyone else - but gets it wrong. To combat this I tried to develop my own style (which sounds pretty pretentious.. but I just feel more comfortable!) I buy a lot of my clothes from charity and vintage shops so that they're one-of-a-kind.. that way I don't feel like I'm trying to be anyone else. I wear a lot of bright, clashing colours so that people will think I don't take clothing seriously. I'd love to look as good as everyone else does in normal clothes. I like the clothes I wear but sometimes I feel a bit like a freak show.


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## Cashew (May 30, 2010)

I'm surprised this appears to be such a common thing among SAers! I don't know if I had the same thing or just a high preference for certain clothes.

Before I started seeing psychiatrists, I would wear a jacket and a baseball cap EVERYDAY for years. Sometimes I even wore the hat to bed, it was just so comforting. Maybe I would have done better in school if they would have allowed me to wear my hat instead of letting me feel so exposed and unable to focus on anything.

I stopped eventually though.. It made me so angry when people would pull off my hat and withhold it from me for fun :| and there's a lot of pressure to take off your hat indoors.

I still won't wear anything with short sleeves though. I can't stand feeling the cloth cling to my underarms. Thankfully long sleeve shirts don't cling so much like short sleeve/t-shirt ones do. I'd never be able to work in a tank top :yes


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## Podee (Aug 4, 2011)

I figured a lot of people were like that to a mild extent just because people usually have their own style and stick to it. I'm like it but never saw it as odd because remembering shows where they give people makeovers they usually look in their wardrobes and criticize them for wearing the same kinda stuff.
I dunno, I can see how it can be much more on a mental level like a symptom of a disorder but unless it stops you doing things like going out and going to places where you have to dress differently I think it's fairly common.
For me I always wear the same style of trousers, I've got 2 pairs exactly the same and another 2 pairs the same but one is black and the other pinstripe. Extremely fussy when it comes to shoes, they must have at least a 3" platform and be like trainers or boots. 90% of my clothes are black. And I'm only comfortable with one style of bag which is often hard to find. So yeah shopping is a nightmare and feeling comfortable in anything different is almost impossible. Not much of a problem though, I figure I just like my individuality.


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

As someone who has Asperger's (and also IBS) it sounds spot on. 

However Asperger's is more than just the sensory issues, more than just social anxiety, it's social INEPTITUDE to the extreme.

You probably have a sensory disorder, and while these are in the autism spectrum most people with sensory disorders have fairly normal lives.


Oh yeah, about 95% of my wardrobe is black, I wear long shirts and tights tucked into my knee-high boots. It's how I dress... every day.

At least when I absolutely HAVE to get dressed. I prefer just lounging in underwear. My husband doesn't complain.


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