# Did therapy really help you?



## Wingardium Leviosa (Dec 3, 2012)

Thanks for your answers.


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## Mea (Nov 11, 2012)

I was in therapy from ages 7-8 then again from ages 13-17. I can't really say it helped me because I've never gained anything positive from it. I'm going to start seeing someone again, so we'll see if anything has changed.


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## No Limit (Dec 6, 2005)

It's helped me to a certain extent. There was a therapist I've seen for several years and at some point it just seemed like I was paying someone money to a non-judgmental friend to hear me out. It wasn't going anywhere besides me talking about my problems. Then there was one therapist that both listened to me and assigned me "homework" or something challenging to do during the week like smile at someone walking towards you or something like that. The latter therapist seems to have helped me the most.

In short, CBT with a little bit of exposure therapy worked best for me


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

For me it had helped. I still have therapy. This therapist really helps. But all the therapist I had before her didn't helped at all.


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## ilana (Nov 5, 2012)

No, because I was a very unwilling patient. Skepticism and depression don't mix, apparently.


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## CrimsonRaven (Apr 3, 2012)

For me, no, not at all. However, perhaps that was my fault. She would ask me questions and I would just nod or shrug. If I did answer it was short and never in detail. So we'd sit there and I would study her walls. So...it could help if you put forth the effort.
I did, I guess you could call it self-CBT, I got a job working night shift at a local Taco Bell which forced me to interact with drunks, stoners, rude teenagers, rude adults, and very nice people plus I had to work with complete strangers. So I force myself to do what I feared the most and came out a better person. I barely have SA anymore, at least not the physical features, I still have the mentality of SA and now I just have to get over my own mind/thoughts.


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## Dying note (Mar 17, 2009)

With the doctor I have therapy with now, yes- it has helped me very much. I had two previous therapists, but made little progress because I was too afraid to disclose all that I should have. I wasn't in a place to trust anyone before, but now I have established trust and have been making consistent progress for over a year.


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## nelby (Mar 16, 2011)

If you have a good therapist who understands and is empathetic towards SAD, then it has a chance of being useful.

I have been fortunate to have worked with some great people in my life; the therapist I am working with now is someone who I think is helping me change my life-for the better.

I have heard numerous horror stories about therapists, as SAD is very commonly misunderstood, even by so-called mental health professionals.


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## Sara2012 (Jul 21, 2012)

In some ways, yes, it's nice to have an unbiased person to talk to; though it's hard for me to go because of my SA. I don't like conversing about the things that make me anxious and I don't like being trapped in a room for an hour. To be honest the medicine is what really helped.


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## ysabelmilby (Dec 5, 2012)

Treatment helps us to feel more confident, happier, have more fulfilling relationships, and brings a sense of hope for the future. Therapy really helps a lot in so many condition and situations because you will feel comfortable and coping for fast recovery.


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## cellophanegirl (Sep 21, 2009)

No Limit said:


> It's helped me to a certain extent. There was a therapist I've seen for several years and at some point it just seemed like I was paying someone money to a non-judgmental friend to hear me out. It wasn't going anywhere besides me talking about my problems. Then there was one therapist that both listened to me and assigned me "homework" or something challenging to do during the week like smile at someone walking towards you or something like that. The latter therapist seems to have helped me the most.


How did you find the helpful therapist? Did she/he specialize in a specific type of therapy, or did you just happen to get lucky with a regular brand therapist?

I've had a bunch of therapists and they've all been of the first variety. Some were verging on more harmful than helpful, but for the most part they were just nice but not helpful. I did a lot of talking, but didn't make a whole lot of forward progress. Paying to have a friend for 1 hour a week seems like an accurate assessment.

I feel like a lot of people think that therapy acts the same way an antibiotic does. You have a mental problem? Get some Therapy and make it will clear right up!

I like the concept of therapy, but in practice it seems very lacking. A lot of the time it just seems like a waste of money for very minimal progress. I also have a big problem with the time devoted to most therapy. 1 hour a week really isn't enough time to make any progress, and a lot of the time in my sessions, by the end of the hour i was just starting to open up, and then it was time to leave.


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## Relz (Oct 31, 2011)

Not at all.
I didn't know how to get CBT so I went through 2 separate therapists doing talk therapy. It was a waste of my time. If I ever do therapy again, I'll try CBT. Still, I am very skeptical about any therapist's ability to help me.


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

Relz said:


> Not at all.
> I didn't know how to get CBT so I went through 2 separate therapists doing talk therapy. It was a waste of my time. If I ever do therapy again, I'll try CBT. Still, I am very skeptical about any therapist's ability to help me.


Yes, talking has never helped me at all too. It may be that training helps better with some kind of therapistic coach ?


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## bazinga (Jun 9, 2010)

Never had therapists. I've only had counselors/doctor. I can't really say that counseling has helped at all. I've been through like 5 counselors now so I don't even cooperate anymore. Sessions last like 50 minutes and I'll be in there for 5.

I used to cooperate. Sometimes I still try to cooperate and lay everything on the table. But it seems like I'm so messed up that every time I go in there I come out looking worse than I did before. I definitely feel worse after counseling which is funny because I feel great every time I see the doc and talk to him.

Still, counseling and therapy is better than nothing. It gives you someone to talk to about your problems who can sometimes give good advice. Some people do not have anyone to talk to about their problems.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

Nah, hasn't helped in any lasting way.

My first therapist I saw for two years, once a week. Hell of a lot of therapy if you ask me. It was talk therapy, I basically just spilled my feelings each week to a non-judgmental person. He didn't actually "help" with anything. I was feeling so messed up those two years with bad Bipolar depressions - that it became a _need_ for me to spill my guts each week. BUT - it had no long-term benefits whatsoever. And eventually, it got to the point where the therapy was immensely harming me rather than helping. My relationship with the therapist became negative and it created more problems with me. Once I decided to leave him... POOF, I got so much better.

And then I saw this psychiatrist who did psychoanalytic therapy. I saw him for almost a year, only once a month. That was the biggest waste of time and money (and he was quite expensive..) All he did was analyze the same stuff, my relationship with my father (per usual with Freudians.. :roll) and nothing ever came of it.

I'm taking an extended break from therapists at the moment, as my faith in their usefulness is at a low..


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

Monroee said:


> N
> And then I saw this psychiatrist who did psychoanalytic therapy. I saw him for almost a year, only once a month. That was the biggest waste of time and money .


Confirmed - this type of therapy seems to be waste of time for "our" problems. I had one and it was useless. I later found out he was of named direction you write here.

I can only find 2 positives from said "therapy": I sometimes used my bike to go to him which means some exercise and the fast food restaurant near the therapists home was quite good (means everything I got from the physical exercise with the bike was useless )


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## DesertStar91 (Feb 1, 2012)

No, not really. I've been to 13 therapists in 6 years and they were all sadistic, either that or they sucked. I think I just have bad luck because therapy probably works for other people, really well too. I think I am the kind of person who needs a self help book and a friend.


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## MrWibblyWobbly (Mar 2, 2012)

Therapy has definitely helped me. But you have to find the right therapist, and you have to be willing to put in the effort. Important factors in whether therapy will be effective:

1.) You feel like you can be comfortable and open around your therapist, and he/she really understands and listens to you and your concerns and experiences.

2.) Your therapist is intelligent and well-informed about the treatment approaches available for social anxiety/depression/whatever else you're grappling with. I recommend someone familiar with at least one of the following therapies: *Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)* <- this one is especially helpful IME, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), or Rational-Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT). Another option is Schema Therapy, if you have more severe personality disorders.

3.) You are willing to open up to your therapist and tell him/her exactly what it is you're dealing with. Your therapist can only help you to the extent that he/she knows you. If you hold back information about what's bothering you, he/she will not be able to get to those issues, and you're not getting as much out of it as you could be.

4.) You are willing to do whatever homework/exercises the therapist recommends. Just try it, even if it's scary, weird, or a chore. Therapy is about changing habits that have become ingrained into your body-mind complex. This is going to take time and practice. If it doesn't go well, then you can talk to your therapist in your next session. Sometimes the best way to learn about what's really happening is to fail a couple of times.

5.) Be patient and compassionate with yourself. Don't expect things to change automatically. You're basically learning skills, and it takes a while to fully internalize new skills. It's like learning a new instrument or a foreign language.


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## karunaji (Oct 17, 2012)

The therapy has helped me a lot. At the first session I was very cynical and said that we don't need to continue. The scepticism was due to previous unsuccesful sessions with a therapist who diagnosed me with autism. It was wrong diagnosis and made my situation only worse.

My current therapist doesn't have much experience with SAD but she teaches acceptance to people who have become blind, she also works with drug addicts and helps people with depression. I don't even know the name of the therapy we are doing, I never cared to ask and I don't really care, as long as it is helping me. I guess it is the same acceptance therapy that MrWibblyWobbly talked about.

After my first refusal to continue with therapy, my therapist asked me to write her about something positive that has happened with me every day. I realized that I have nothing positive to write about, so I asked if we can continue therapy and she agreed.

I don't remember much of what she said during the first several sessions but they made me peaceful for some reason. Gradually it become better and approximately after 2 months I felt that I have made some progress. I have been warned that temporarily things can go worse but so far I am doing very good.

When I was convinced that my condition is really SAD, I bought a book "Sociel Anxiety by Mark. R. Leary and Robin M. Kowalski". It is not about how to treat social anxiety but rather dry and scientific description of social anxiety, current views and theories about it, its causes and effectiveness of different treatments. 

It mentions very interesting facts. For example, while people with SAD have lower social skills in general, they are only marginally lower so that it is not even an issue, at least from clinical perspective. Some people may have very little social skills but they have no difficulties with people because they don't have SA. I think it is true. When a person with SA doesn't know what to say in some encounter, it is not that he or she doesn't know what to say per se, but is too anxious to say anything. Once I realized this, it changed my whole perspective towards myself and socializing with other people.


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

I haven't really noticed any changes...yet, except they got me on medication. The problem is, I know everything about my disorder...the triggers, how I got this way, how I react to certain situations, what's wrong with my thought processes, how I need to think differently, etc...but I haven't received any SOLUTIONS. I've only been there 3 times, so I'm willing to give it more time. It is nice to have somebody to talk to though who understands and gives a damn, even if I'm paying her to.


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## depressedkat (Dec 10, 2012)

Sara2012 said:


> In some ways, yes, it's nice to have an unbiased person to talk to; though it's hard for me to go because of my SA. I don't like conversing about the things that make me anxious and I don't like being trapped in a room for an hour. To be honest the medicine is what really helped.


I tried going to a therapist once, but i didn't like talking about my life either. I always felt so anxious every time i went.


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## losinghope (Mar 29, 2011)

Yes because It helps get me out of the house and pushes me to work on my problems and let feelings out. 

No because it's hard because sometimes it feels like I'm paying them to be my friend and listen to me. Also go over same thing over and over again and sometimes just nod or say yeah and can't wait for the hour to be over. 

Sometimes yes, Sometimes no. Sorry if that's not a very helpful answer.


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## Eski (Aug 6, 2011)

Helped loads.


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## Fangsfriend (Dec 9, 2012)

Yes, it was....in hindsight...a lifesaver.

It was the hardest thing I ever did.

I had demons to face up to, and had I not had a kind and completely unassuming therapist I would not be here today.

It took 18 months-and I grieved when it was over, almost like losing a good friend. But my life turned completely around.

You have to find someone with whom you have a "good fit"-or you are wasting your time. And you can't lie.
I wish anyone who is considering therapy to give it a chance.


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## solitarysiren (Jun 21, 2012)

I have changed since I started seeing my therapist, but I wonder if these changes are mostly the result of life changes and needing to adapt to new situations. It's possible that I would have ended up the same way without therapy. 

I've noticed that I feel better after talking to someone about things that are bothering me. I wouldn't feel comfortable talking about these matters with other people I know because they would probably go and tell other people I know. It's nice to have a place where I can at least speak about what is on my mind (or at least some of it) without worrying about someone blabbing to people I know.


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## ilsr (Aug 29, 2010)

It didn't help me. Spent a lot of money for many sessions. Had seen maybe 3 or 4 different ones. Tried city social services. Last one just insulted and criticized me for not working at the time. 

Just got to be lucky to find a therapist that cares and knows how to treat SAD. Probably a few in the world exist. But I didn't find it and had wasted enough money.


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