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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

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## RubyTuesday (Aug 3, 2007)

*Re: I'm a nut*

I think 'ambivalence' is the word (or is it 'ambivalent', cos apparently there's a difference).

But, it's basically when you are torn in different directions at the same time.

Of course, conflicts are everywhere in life. According to Jung and Einstein....
"The greatest and most important problems of life are all fundamentally insoluble. They can never be solved but only outgrown". - Carl Jung
"The significant problems we face today cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." - Albert Einstein

...They're both pointing towards 'transcendence' -of getting past dualities. Instead of 'this or that', a person's only way of actually knowing what they want is by accepting ALL of it. And then acting out of the whole.

Buddhism is based on this understanding.
Mindfulness is about observing your mind's leaning (towards this preference of that preference) and through observing your mind's bias, you come to an awareness that there is more than one side to things -when your mind habitually ignores the other side whilst it's focusing on the other one.

You use your perception -which I think is much like common sense- to observe the limitations of your current understanding and mind. And this allows you to broaden your perspective and find new solutions to problems/concerns, as opposed to continuing to operate solely from what you so-far understand, which is only ever bound to be redundant.
..it allows you to grow, in other words.

Here are some good books on Mindfulness...
"Buddhism: Plain and Simple" by Steve Hagen
"Beginning Mindfulness" by Andrew Weiss.

Over the internet -there is: "Mindfulness In Plain English" by Gunaratana Mahathera, at http://www.budsas.org
And also if you are interested: http://www.mindfulrecovery.org


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## Marylandgreeneyes (Feb 10, 2008)

*Re: I'm a nut*

You are avoiding situations that will give you anxiety. School, jobs, partners etc. 
Of course you want to do those things, but its hard to do those things when your anxiety is making you uncomfortable. I don't really think its going to be possible to convince yourself you want those things so badly you'll endure the anxiety. Especially things that mean enduring it for years. Most the therapies for Social anxiety are about teaching yourself to become aware of those irrational anxious thoughts telling you to skip class today, and then try to rationally explain to yourself why going to class will be good for you. You should try to do this every time you are feeling anxiety. Ask yourself why you are feeling anxious, debate those negative thoughts with the reality of the situation, and hopefully be able to continue on.

I'm not a qualified professional, but I think it seems pretty ignorant for both of your doctors to say that you just have to want something so badly you can endure the anxiety. Thats never going to happen, especially if you are able to leave the situation. Saying that you just "think" you want those things, and that you really don't....I mean come on. You do want those things, but they give you anxiety, and you don't want anxiety. 
Its so hard for me to find a way to explain how to start this thinking process, but I suggest you read up on stopping negative thoughts.I read this http://www.koreanbuddhism.net/master/dh ... q=6&page=1
article on Buddhism and found it helpful. I really suggest you read through it. Don't think of Buddhism as a religion, because its really not. Just read that article! I had to take adderall to get my concentration to a level where I could actually begin logically analyzing my automatic anxious thoughts. I'll be honest, I also had a long meditation session when I smoked some weed and had some alone time to think on a comfortable chair. I can give you some tips on how to begin meditating if you have never done it. Try your best! You'll get that degree : )


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

*Re: I'm a nut*

Hehe. Psychodynamic Therapy can be fun


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## hhbecks (Jan 2, 2008)

*Re: I'm a nut*

Personally, I find it very hard to distinguish what I really want, because of my anxiety. The best way I know how to do it is to ask myself if I died without having done whatever I'm considering, would I be disappointed? It's morbid, but works sometimes.


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## gozinsky (Mar 11, 2008)

*Re: I'm a nut*

Do you really want to know what you want? Or do you just want to want to know what you want?


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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

*Re: I'm a nut*



gozinsky said:


> Do you really want to know what you want? Or do you just want to want to know what you want?


I want to know what I want.


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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

*Re: I'm a nut*



Marylandgreeneyes said:


> Its so hard for me to find a way to explain how to start this thinking process, but I suggest you read up on stopping negative thoughts.I read this http://www.koreanbuddhism.net/master/dh ... q=6&page=1
> article on Buddhism and found it helpful. I really suggest you read through it. Don't think of Buddhism as a religion, because its really not. Just read that article! I had to take adderall to get my concentration to a level where I could actually begin logically analyzing my automatic anxious thoughts. I'll be honest, I also had a long meditation session when I smoked some weed and had some alone time to think on a comfortable chair. I can give you some tips on how to begin meditating if you have never done it. Try your best! You'll get that degree : )


I actually did find the article very helpful. It spoke about eliminating delusions to be able to see ultimate truth, the mirror reflexion of myself cleared of the dust, the delusions. I think combined with cbt - the ability to recognize destructive and irrational thought patterns and working through them to a more rational truth - it would greatly help me in being able to see what I really want and can attain from life. Anyway, thanks for the links and to everyone for the suggestions.


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## Dazed&amp;Confused (Mar 14, 2008)

*Re: I'm a nut*

wants wants wants. how about focusing on what you really need? .lol im confused.


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