# What is a fit body?



## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

Every time someone laments their lack of dating experience or romantic attention, I see the majority of responses telling them to get a fit body, the ultimate cure for butterface. Nobody ever specifies further. What *is* a fit body? Is there some goal to strive towards? And how do you know when you've reached it, aside from all the attention you should apparently be getting?


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Hmm have some muscle definition.....people can tell you work out when they look at you.


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## CloudChaser (Nov 7, 2013)

If you look like you have **** yourself when you walk then you have gone too far.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

Kevin001 said:


> Hmm have some muscle definition.....people can tell you work out when they look at you.


Same for women? I've seen this said to them too.



CloudChaser said:


> If you look like you have **** yourself when you walk then you have gone too far.


Lmao. Good to know.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

TheWelshOne said:


> Same for women? I've seen this said to them too.


Yep. I work at 2 places where I see tons of people and you can tell who works out. But takes time.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

I would just ignore that. Most people's judgement is just that fickle. They have no idea what they want until they see it. If you don't like your body, do whatever you need to do in order to satisfy your own criteria. If you live to please others you're probably forever going to be chasing empty rewards. 

If someone has told you to "get a fit body" (assuming they have even seen your body) they are very likely telling you that you should make what will probably be some kind of a drastic change in your lifestyle. And that's probably going to be hard. If you're doing it for the wrong reasons it's going to suck when you reach whatever your goal is and you don't get the expected response. Hard work never sucks more than it does when you feel like you did it all for nothing.


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## forgetmylife (Oct 1, 2011)

women aren't supposed to be muscular and firm (a masculine trait, but everyone's different), it's a turn off imo...

fit for a man is a lean figure, low today fat, and possibly a six pack (or the foundation of one) but definitely some tone/definition

strength and muscle are a must, but it doesn't have to be steroids tier (although some women may have a fetish for that)

although, generally speaking, women also place high value on personality and emotional connection


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## Gloaming (Aug 1, 2017)

I feel like most people who say "get fit," "get in shape," etc., are referring to some level of muscle definition. But (at least in my opinion) there's a nice level of muscle definition, and then there's a point where it's just too much. Of course, some people like that extreme. At a certain point, it's just a matter of personal preference, what you're willing to do, and what you're capable of doing.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

The Director said:


> Yes, muscle definition on women is sexy too, it's just a matter of degree really. We don't want to see a six pack, but, it's very hot to see the lines of the underlying muscle. Here's an example
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Are you honestly saying you wouldn't date that second woman because she doesn't look like the first woman? Because that's what it seems like.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

Gloaming said:


> I feel like most people who say "get fit," "get in shape," etc., are referring to some level of muscle definition. But (at least in my opinion) there's a nice level of muscle definition, and then there's a point where it's just too much. Of course, some people like that extreme. At a certain point, it's just a matter of personal preference, what you're willing to do, and what you're capable of doing.


This is exactly my point. Everyone says it in these general terms but who the **** knows what that actually means? @The Director posted pics of two women, one with muscle definition, one without. Personally, neither of those women are attractive to me, I prefer a little more meat and softness. Same with men, I don't like a visible six-pack though a little arm definition is good. @Kevin001 says 'work out', as if that's just an obvious set thing. I mean, work out how? For how long each time? Concentrate on arms, or legs, or abs? (No offence, Kev, just making a point)

Some people like the steroid look. Some people like the naturally ripped look. Some people like a little definition. Some people don't like definition. Some people like squishiness. Some people like round bodies.

Acting like there's a 'one size fits all' approach to dating is where we're all going wrong. Could we not just say 'Take care of your health, make sure you're healthy'? Seems like that's a more basic requirement than 'get a fit body (whatever the **** that means)'.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

TheWelshOne said:


> @Kevin001 says 'work out', as if that's just an obvious set thing. I mean, work out how? For how long each time? Concentrate on arms, or legs, or abs? (No offence, Kev, just making a point)


Haha it really doesn't matter. Some people do a lot of cardio and I can tell, some people focus on upper body stuff, etc. There are no set times, you can work what you want as well. Just do something . Ofc other people won't notice nice abs in public or something like that.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

Afreen88 said:


> I don't think it really matters what other people think so much. What do _you_ want your body to look like? Work towards that (as long as it's realistic). You'll attract the people who like that look, and you'll have something in common.


Then why is the first piece of advice to everyone who complains about no dating luck 'Get a fit body'? If it's something they want, surely they'd have figured that out by now. If it's not something they want, they're not gonna enjoy doing it.


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## Gloaming (Aug 1, 2017)

@TheWelshOne Yeah, I agree. The whole "do this and everyone will find you attractive" thing is bullsh*t. People have different preferences. Sure, there are things you can do to appeal to _more_ people-like, generally speaking, most people don't find obesity to be particularly attractive-but you're never going to be universally attractive. That's why I think, at a certain point, it just comes down to what feels best to you. People who think that the "perfect" body is going to solve all their problems are probably going to be disappointed.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

Gloaming said:


> @TheWelshOne Yeah, I agree. The whole "do this and everyone will find you attractive" thing is bullsh*t. People have different preferences. Sure, there are things you can do to appeal to _more_ people-like, generally speaking, most people don't find obesity to be particularly attractive-but you're never going to be universally attractive. That's why I think, at a certain point, it just comes down to what feels best to you. People who think that the "perfect" body is going to solve all their problems are probably going to be disappointed.


Exactly. I know that being a relatively healthy weight will widen your dating pool, just as women who have long hair will have a wider dating pool than those with short hair because long hair suggests femininity. But it pisses me off, especially as someone with an anorexic sister, that it's assumed you will have more luck if you're fit. I've seen my weakling sister get more dates than you'd ever think. I've seen her get hit on while looking like a skeleton that someone's stretched skin over. She's 29, when she's ill she looks 50. She still gets hit on. I mean, sure, you can see her ribs (and her spine, and her hip bones), and sure more people told her she was hot with a BMI of 15 than they did when she was healthy. But I don't see anyone advocating anorexia as a dating tool. Some people will always get hit on, because they will always be attractive. Some people will have to work harder at it, but there is no 'cure' that fits everyone and I find such generalised advice to be sloppy.
@The Director my OP said that anyone who has bad luck with dating is told to get fit as a start. You said the second woman is not 'fit' by your standards, therefore if she came here whining about her love life, you'd be telling her to look like that first woman. Sometimes it ain't all about fitness.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I'm not really into muscles on guys, I don't mind if it's a small amount and they're quite lithe.

I guess 'normal' people like them on guys up to a point, and would give the opposite advice generally for girls (but they might say 'get fit' as in lose weight/maintain a healthy weight/exercise reguarly so you stay healthy/tone certain body parts.)


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## Wren611 (Oct 19, 2012)

TheWelshOne said:


> Every time someone laments their lack of dating experience or romantic attention, I see the majority of responses telling them to get a fit body, the ultimate cure for butterface. Nobody ever specifies further. What *is* a fit body? Is there some goal to strive towards? And how do you know when you've reached it, aside from all the attention you should apparently be getting?


Do you mean what's attractive or what's healthy? I think you mean what's attractive, in which case I don't know. :stu I find "fit"/muscular bodies quite repulsive.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

Persephone The Dread said:


> I'm not really into muscles on guys, I don't mind if it's a small amount and they're quite lithe.


Ditto. But again, not a 'normal' person. 



Wren611 said:


> Do you mean what's attractive or what's healthy? I think you mean what's attractive, in which case I don't know. :stu I find "fit"/muscular bodies quite repulsive.


My point exactly. This advice is generally given to guys, from guys. 'Starting lifting, bro. Get ripped.' I don't see the fascination with muscles (though I know some women who do) but surely it should be 'Make sure you're healthy in mind and body', that sort of (admittedly also annoying) advice. Because there's no perfect body and no saying that if you get ripped you'll get laid.


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## Wren611 (Oct 19, 2012)

TheWelshOne said:


> My point exactly. This advice is generally given to guys, from guys. 'Starting lifting, bro. Get ripped.' I don't see the fascination with muscles (though I know some women who do) but surely it should be 'Make sure you're healthy in mind and body', that sort of (admittedly also annoying) advice. Because there's no perfect body and no saying that if you get ripped you'll get laid.


If anyone felt their body was all they have to offer to impress me enough for a leg over, then no ta.


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

I think you should be able to run up 5-6 flights of steps without breathing heavily, and be able to carry your body weight around comfortably without straining.


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## Alexander990 (Sep 10, 2017)

handsome and pretty is relative, u cant just find perfect for everyone, "focus on your target, everything will follow" thats my pillar of quote of everyting


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## Ai (Oct 13, 2012)

When people say this to women, I get the sense they mean, however covertly, "starve yourself into oblivion." I can't tell you how many weird, uncomfortable compliments I've gotten on my body (mostly from other women while at work) since I got sicker and started losing weight. I never got this kind of attention when I was legitimately working out, when I had a little muscle mass. I am the weakest, the thinnest, and the most unhealthy I have ever been. But I am some kind of inspiration and I "look great."


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## CyclingSoPhob (Apr 8, 2008)

A fit body can be more than one body type. A climber cyclist is going to be thin whereas a sprinter can be very muscular. As far as worrying about "fit" for dating, just try to be in the best health that's possible for you and don't worry about it. Change what you can and just let the mating game run it's course. There is someone out there looking for your unique physique along with personality.


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## Alex4You (Jun 19, 2017)

You are fit once you can look in the mirror and go "oh yeah damn i look good!"


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

TheWelshOne said:


> Every time someone laments their lack of dating experience or romantic attention, I see the majority of responses telling them to get a fit body, the ultimate cure for butterface. Nobody ever specifies further. What *is* a fit body? Is there some goal to strive towards? And how do you know when you've reached it, aside from all the attention you should apparently be getting?


Usually someone who has a fit body has good muscle definition and they definitely don't have a lot of fat.

Not everybody has the genetics for it. Some people are naturally overweight, and they'll likely never be slim or get a six pack no matter how hard they try. Others are super skinny thanks to their ferrari like matabolism, they'd have to eat like a horse 24/7 and not everyone has the money or discipline for that.

But that doesn't mean you can't improve your body.

The two most important things to remember if you want to get fit is how you exercise and what you eat. You can go to the gym 3 or 4 times a week but if you eat poorly, you won't get results. So make sure if you're going to the gym, don't neglect the food part because that's equally important.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Alex4You said:


> You are fit once you can look in the mirror and go "oh yeah damn i look good!"


There are *lots* of people on this forum who look really good and fit (IMO), but _they_ don't think that when they look in the mirror. :um


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

Alex4You said:


> You are fit once you can look in the mirror and go "oh yeah damn i look good!"


Welp, there goes all my hope. :laugh:


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

farfegnugen said:


> I think you should be able to run up 5-6 flights of steps without breathing heavily, and be able to carry your body weight around comfortably without straining.


Back when I worked as a mover it was easy to tell who was in shape and who wasn't when it was time to carry the boxes up flights of stairs in a hurry. Anyone can pick up a fridge with straps, but those damn boxes won't carry themselves up. That was a pretty good test of how good your cardio was.


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## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

TheWelshOne said:


> Every time someone laments their lack of dating experience or romantic attention, I see the majority of responses telling them to get a fit body, the ultimate cure for butterface. Nobody ever specifies further.


I think women look at face more (first). At least that is what I noticed.



TheWelshOne said:


> What is a fit body? Is there some goal to strive towards? And how do you know when you've reached it, aside from all the attention you should apparently be getting?


I believe a fit body is a body with low fat around the muscles (doesn't have to show muscle). They use the skin pinch test to check this.

From what I have noticed, women that are fit and have muscle like the woman shown in this thread (photo) usually only go for men that look similar (preference).

Women that have very fit bodies workout a lot. Just look on Youtube and you'll see hundreds of female fitness motivation video's. Some female motivation video's have some good verbal messages of encouragement in them from women for women and interesting music (good if feeling down and need a pick me up motivation from another woman, sometimes good music to match).

In addition, I see that in real life too, lots of women running, going to gyms, etc to keep their body shape.

Problem with building lots of muscle is it can turn into flab if you stop (due to injury or other reasons). I have seen photo's of a body builder turn to just weight / fat.

What I learnt from that is to keep fit (toned with little fat via pinch test), but not too fit with heavy muscle.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Not an office worker's body or a couch/video game potato's body.


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

For many with SA, working on social skills and social confidence would help out a lot more with getting dates. The fact is, if you have trouble in that area, even after you get fit, you will still probably have trouble getting past the initial, superficial stage of attraction that your fit body would give you. 

And then you'll be fit but in the same boat as before.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't work out if you want to though. It does simply feel better to be in good shape, even just moving around on a day to day basis. I'm someone that never seriously worked out until a few years ago. It can help improve self-esteem and you will likely be happier with the way you look, but there are just so many other aspects you can also work on that would be just as, if not a bit more, helpful finding a partner.

I think getting fit, whatever you want to look like, is a good thing but it isn't some magical panacea for getting scores of dates for those with SA and other types of issues. It should be implemented as PART of a strategy to improve yourself overall.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

Alex4You said:


> You are fit once you can look in the mirror and go "oh yeah damn i look good!"


Don't you have BDD?


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

Ai said:


> When people say this to women, I get the sense they mean, however covertly, "starve yourself into oblivion." I can't tell you how many weird, uncomfortable compliments I've gotten on my body (mostly from other women while at work) since I got sicker and started losing weight. I never got this kind of attention when I was legitimately working out, when I had a little muscle mass. I am the weakest, the thinnest, and the most unhealthy I have ever been. But I am some kind of inspiration and I "look great."


Yup. I honestly believe this has kept my sister from recovering for so long. People told her she looked great, guys hit on her, they told her 'Oh you don't wanna eat that, you'll get fat', 'Oh you don't need to put on weight' (while at BMI 15), 'I wouldn't date you if you were the UK average size'. If you're in that sort of situation, I can totally see how putting on weight would be the *last* thing you'd want if your mind is already pretty screwed up.

And :squeeze



truant said:


> Welp, there goes all my hope. :laugh:


:squeeze



Darktower776 said:


> For many with SA, working on social skills and social confidence would help out a lot more with getting dates. The fact is, if you have trouble in that area, even after you get fit, you will still probably have trouble getting past the initial, superficial stage of attraction that your fit body would give you.
> 
> And then you'll be fit but in the same boat as before.
> 
> ...


Exactly, but it has to be *whatever the individual person wants to look like.* Maybe they prefer to be a little chubby, or without much muscle mass. Only to be told that they're sabotaging their chances of getting dates because they're not either starving themselves or getting ripped.


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## Eternal Solitude (Jun 11, 2017)

After reading all these responses I have concluded that I am beyond ****ed :dead


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## a degree of freedom (Sep 28, 2011)

TheWelshOne said:


> Then why is the first piece of advice to everyone who complains about no dating luck 'Get a fit body'? If it's something they want, surely they'd have figured that out by now. If it's not something they want, they're not gonna enjoy doing it.


It's probably more in the spirit of "take care of yourself", I guess, if we're going to try to be generous. I figure most people just aren't all that great about finding the right level of generalization is all. I say that, but taking care of myself isn't going to get me dates. I interpret myself as not being as muscular as is even what I think is most attractive, and I get very little enjoyment from strength training for gains in physique because it doesn't apply to my life except in this tangential way, and I simply don't add bulk readily of any kind. Self-confidence is precious after all and I can't spend a lot of time on an activity that has little promise.

So I generalize and try to "take care of myself". I figure the real reason I'm dateless is because I don't ask anyone out, but, like I said, self-confidence is precious. Does that sound like a catch-22? It does sound messed up. Well, it's not the long term plan I can say at least.


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## Alex4You (Jun 19, 2017)

TheWelshOne said:


> Don't you have BDD?


Yes. I constantly strive to improve my appearance. I just imagine what it'd be like.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

My desire is to have a normal physique that is proportional and looks good for the most readily available clothing sizes.

Looking good naked is far from the priority.


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## Ai (Oct 13, 2012)

TheWelshOne said:


> Yup. I honestly believe this has kept my sister from recovering for so long. People told her she looked great, guys hit on her, they told her 'Oh you don't wanna eat that, you'll get fat', 'Oh you don't need to put on weight' (while at BMI 15), 'I wouldn't date you if you were the UK average size'. If you're in that sort of situation, I can totally see how putting on weight would be the *last* thing you'd want if your mind is already pretty screwed up.


People suck :/


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## May19 (Apr 25, 2012)

TheWelshOne said:


> Every time someone laments their lack of dating experience or romantic attention, I see the majority of responses telling them to get a fit body, the ultimate cure for butterface. Nobody ever specifies further. What *is* a fit body? Is there some goal to strive towards? And how do you know when you've reached it, aside from all the attention you should apparently be getting?


Feel free to disagree, but I believe those who put more emphasis and importance on appearances are if anything novice to dating & relationships. It's more of an inexperience way of thinking, and usually it's how people think when they are younger. As you date and experience life more, you realize that there is more to life than looks. You realize that someone can be good looking and have a lot of different values and behaviors that you can't live with.

Of course physical attractions need to be there to a certain extent, but I believe in any long-lasting healthy relationship, looks is the last thing people worry about. And for those who keep saying "just work out and be fit" it's hard to tell if they're saying it because they believe appearances = getting girls/guys. However, I do agree how it may help a lot to get fit or to reach certain fitness goals _if and only if_ it *helps* you feel more *confident*.

Having confidence often time go hand in hand with security. And being secure with yourself and your life is a quality that most people find extremely attractive.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Dad bod


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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

The Director said:


> Yes, muscle definition on women is sexy too, it's just a matter of degree really. We don't want to see a six pack, but, it's very hot to see the lines of the underlying muscle. Here's an example
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I actually like the second one better.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Monster muscle thighs.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

I met a guy from London last time I was overseas and he used the word "fit" as more of just an expression for someone that looked good or was attractive. It didn't seem to be related to actual fitness at all. (and that's going to vary a lot from person to person, so I wouldn't worry too much)

Not sure if that's what you're talking about here.


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## Rains (Jan 20, 2016)

The Director said:


> That's really weird.


Not really. The first one's thighs look masculine and kind of bizarre.


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## LonelyLurker (Sep 24, 2016)

harrison said:


> I met a guy from London last time I was overseas and he used the word "fit" as more of just an expression for someone that looked good or was attractive. It didn't seem to be related to actual fitness at all. (and that's going to vary a lot from person to person, so I wouldn't worry too much)
> 
> Not sure if that's what you're talking about here.


Yeah, that's slang over here.

If you want to appear more cultured you simply approach a lady and state "Excuse me madam, I couldn't help but notice that you are well fit".

If she isn't already married this will usually result in the 2 of you becoming an item.

I'm sure the OP will correct me if I'm wrong but I assume this thread is an expression of the frustration that what many people think is fit (in the colloquial sense) isn't always what is fit (in the health sense). Something that is unlikely to change due to frustration, people like what they like, finding people who like what you have to offer (or are willing to acheive) is more likely to produce results.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

Eternal Solitude said:


> After reading all these responses I have concluded that I am beyond ****ed :dead


15$ for a decent jump rope and about 80+ for a nice pair of walking shoes. After that you're set for health. If you're like me, you will want a lot of music to drown out the world around you. Helps my anxiety a ton when i'm outside.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Scrub-Zero said:


> 15$ for a decent jump rope and about 80+ for a nice pair of walking shoes. After that you're set for health. If you're like me, you will want a lot of music to drown out the world around you. Helps my anxiety a ton when i'm outside.


If it was just a matter of money, I'd be a walking Greek statue by now.

Nope...not that easily simplified.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

SofaKing said:


> If it was just a matter of money, I'd be a walking Greek statue by now.
> 
> Nope...not that easily simplified.


I would love to convince you, but i'm no motivational speaker. We all have our struggles, so I understand your point. I didn't mean to say it was easy.

All I meant was, if you want too, there are cheap ways to do it.


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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

The Director said:


> That's really weird.


why is that weird?


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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

Rains said:


> Not really. The first one's thighs look masculine and kind of bizarre.


Exactly.


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## Micronian (Nov 11, 2004)

TheWelshOne said:


> Every time someone laments their lack of dating experience or romantic attention, I see the majority of responses telling them to get a fit body, the ultimate cure for butterface. Nobody ever specifies further. What *is* a fit body? Is there some goal to strive towards? And how do you know when you've reached it, aside from all the attention you should apparently be getting?


from a Men's Health article, they say a man's body proportions should be something like this: (1) your waist should be about 12 inches smaller than your chest; (2) Neck, biceps, and calf measurements should be roughly half your waist; (3) Thighs should be about 1.5 times the size of your calves.

It's hard for most non-active men to fit into these proportions, but the point is to keep it in that zone.

As for my point of view, I think "fit" means to have a body-fat percentage of 15% or lower, maybe 20% for women. The reason why I think this is because at that percentage, you are pretty much an athlete. Also, just because you're thin, doesn't mean you are "fit" like an athlete.


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## RockmanJL9981 (Aug 23, 2012)

might try to bounce a quarter off someone to tell


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## Mlt18 (Jun 29, 2016)

I would say one with no fat rolls and good muscle tone, but not overly muscular.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

Freiheit91 said:


> I would say one with no fat rolls and good muscle tone, but not overly muscular.


Well, idk what you class as fat rolls but just to be clear...










And


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## DiDiZia (May 18, 2017)

There are plenty of men and women out here that don't have toned bodies, but still find success in dating and relationships.
Charisma has a lot to do with it, I've noticed. If it helps with your confidence, then knock yourself out. That confidence is what will benefit you the most.
Unless you're obese or very thin, I don't think most women will be bothered.
Perhaps I'm downplaying it, as I don't have a preference for muscular physiques.

Sent from my Moto G Play using Tapatalk


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## Mlt18 (Jun 29, 2016)

TheWelshOne said:


> Well, idk what you class as fat rolls but just to be clear...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


.....Ok


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## Sus y (Aug 30, 2017)

TheWelshOne said:


> Well, idk what you class as fat rolls but just to be clear...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


:O After I saw that... I'm glad that I'm single and don't have to worry to get naked with anyone. :serious:

As for what it's fit or not, I find that irrelevant, what I'm questioning it's how many people prioritize this (the body) than other things, I like to think other things are more or equally important and I'm more into the smart kind of type :stu, brains are sexy *feels like a zombie* lol.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

Freiheit91 said:


> .....Ok


Point being, even fit people have rolls. In case that wasn't clear.


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## Mlt18 (Jun 29, 2016)

I don't consider those real rolls, but whatever.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

Freiheit91 said:


> I don't consider those real rolls, but whatever.


OK, no problem.


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## RagnarLothbrok (Dec 16, 2016)

A fit body for a woman is one that has a toned bum and thighs (squats) and a flat stomach without too much muscle showing. If you don't have an attractive face, it would improve how attractive you are.


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## onthespectrum (Aug 31, 2017)

Okay okay okay. I didn't read all the responses but a "fit body" is one where you exercise and eat healthy and feel good about yourself no matter what your size. I'm 5'9 and 120 pounds. I'm a bone. Being thin has gotten me nowhere in life. I would NOT say I have a fit body. Keep that in mind


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

TheWelshOne said:


> Then why is the first piece of advice to everyone who complains about no dating luck 'Get a fit body'?


Perhaps partly because it's more socially acceptable than saying "your personality is repulsive, get a new one." It gives people something to do every day to feel like they're making progress, which may be more important than the destination. And it makes the advice-giver feel better about all the hours/$ he's invested at the gym.

I do think the advice is mostly given to people who are at least slightly overweight, though -- I have no muscle but don't get that advice. Then again I don't ask strangers about my dating problems (because I already know a bunch of reasons why I'm undateable and would rather not learn more).


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