# Where should a 'normal' 15 year old be by now in life?



## Sabreena (Feb 17, 2012)

I saw a thread about where a normal 22-year-old should be in life and it made me think. I feel like I haven't gotten anywhere in life. Even for a teenager, my life is really pathetic. Imagine how much worse it will be in two years when I'm expected to go to college. By my age (15/16), most people:


know what college they're going to/what they want to major in
have a job or some kind of income
are able to drive or get around by bus without needing a parent to hold their hand
can actually dress themselves in the morning without looking like complete hobos
have a steady circle of friends at any given time
have some kind of romantic/sexual experience (I don't care what you say, every single person I know has AT LEAST been on one date or kissed one person or had cam sex/cyber sex)
have a hobby or something they're actually good at that they can do in their spare time


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## ty44 (Jul 29, 2012)

Well the first two are untrue. The fourth and seventh ones are quite easy to fix. And I don't know where you live, but at 15, almost nobody has had any sexual experiences. And many lie.

Good luck with the list though


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## Considerate (Aug 5, 2012)

I can relate to the first one.


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## Bluefont (Feb 12, 2012)

*I don't know what college I want to go to right know but I know I want to go to a art school.

*I want to get a after-school job this year. But I'm sure joining clubs after school would be a lot better if I want to make more social at school.

*In my state teens don't get their "driver's license" until they're 17 years old. You can get a "driver's license" when you're 16 years old but you need to be accompanied with a adult passenger.
And when you're 17 and get a driver's license you can only have one passenger with you and you're still under a curfew. You get your full license when you're 18,

*I can't dress myself without looking stupid. That's why I need a job so I can buy some decent clothes.

*I would be happy if I had 1-2 close friends.

*Nope. The only "romantic experiences" I had is with my hand 

*I love to draw. But I'm so lazy I barley drew this whole summer.


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## wordscancutyoulikeglass (May 4, 2012)

Most of that stuff I've never done, but I do have a lot of hobbies.


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## Vinny123 (Aug 6, 2012)

You do not need a job yet and don't need to know what college to go to. You could start looking into it at this point though. As bad as it sounds you should go shopping with you mom if you don't think you have reputable cloths to wear since i'm guessing you don't have you're own money. Most people don't drive till they are 17 so no worries. If you don't hjave a hobby find one it could be video games or a sport.


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## Remnant of Dawn (Feb 22, 2012)

1) The first one is pretty much untrue. You might want to start considering what area you want to major in, but by no means should you know exactly what college you want to go to. Besides the fact that you can't have been accepted yet, you don't even need to start compiling a list of possible ones until mid to late junior year.

2) Getting a job would be nice, but I don't think most 15 year olds have one. I'm older than that and I don't have one yet 

3) I don't think you can drive with a full license anywhere in the US at 15 (maybe I'm wrong), and I don't really know anyone who takes a bus.

4) You should probably learn to dress yourself - that one can be fixed easily and doesn't really take any social skill.

5) Maybe you don't need a circle even, just one or two.

6) I haven't 

7) A hobby is great to have, especially if you have SA. It's good for filling in gaps when you are bored and alone. Try reading, writing, cooking, computer programming, playing music, playing a sport, running, hiking, walking, collecting something, drawing, etc.


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## ShadyGFX (Jul 18, 2012)

I can relate to most of that (except the bus thing, that's where I spend half my life lol). I the hardest thing for me to deal with is knowing that i've never had a girlfriend. It's not something I lie about to my friends, i'm very open about it. Girls just don't like me, I've pretty much accepted it now. On the bright side I have lots of free time on my hands.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

Haha. I'm sorry but I laughed at the part when you said they know how to dress without looking like hobos. I don't mean to hurt your feelings but you can dress yourself too or are you clueless when it comes to style??? I look like a hobo every day and yes, people treat me differently because of the way how I present myself. So it is important to want to look nice. I also didn't get my first kiss until I was 18 years old... and I wasted it on a wrong guy so I suggest you not rush yourself because you will regret it. I'm also not in college right now, but will consider going next year or the next two years. I'm actually a college drop out. So don't turn out like me. My point is I want to let you know that there are other people worst off in life than you are. Also that you are not alone.


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## Joe (May 18, 2010)

Sabreena said:


> I saw a thread about where a normal 22-year-old should be in life and it made me think. I feel like I haven't gotten anywhere in life. Even for a teenager, my life is really pathetic. Imagine how much worse it will be in two years when I'm expected to go to college. By my age (15/16), most people:
> 
> 
> are able to drive or get around by bus without needing a parent to hold their hand
> ...


Those are the only 3 that a normal teen should be able to follow. The first one I don't think SA unless extreme would affect though (but with SA that bad I'd be surprised if someone went out the house at all).


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## Sabreena (Feb 17, 2012)

jJoe said:


> Those are the only 3 that a normal teen should be able to follow. The first one I don't think SA unless extreme would affect though (but with SA that bad I'd be surprised if someone went out the house at all).


The first one isn't an SA problem, I'm just a pretty confused person. :shrug

Okay, everyone, I realize I was being a bit unrealistic when I started this thread...but seriously, sometimes it feels like I'm the most pathetic teenager I know. I probably am, but whatever. It's not fair to compare myself to other people, they have their own problems.


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## Joe (May 18, 2010)

Sabreena said:


> The first one isn't an SA problem, I'm just a pretty confused person. :shrug
> 
> Okay, everyone, I realize I was being a bit unrealistic when I started this thread...but seriously, sometimes it feels like I'm the most pathetic teenager I know. I probably am, but whatever. It's not fair to compare myself to other people, they have their own problems.


I guess I was being too picky, a problems a problem nonetheless and I shouldn't of assumed them all to be about sa sorry.


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## darkrider (Aug 13, 2012)

In school. Focussing on his academics. Playing a sport, being part of the debate team or something. 

I'll tell you what a 15 year old shouldn't be doing even though the majority of them are

1) Drinking alcohol and using any drug
2) Having sex

And well yeah that's about it.


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## Patriot (Oct 14, 2011)

In Sweden it's something like: Having a moped, have tried alcohol at least once, some start smoking. Getting used to flirting with/banging girls, quit or get really good at a sport. Go skiing in the winter, go swimming alot.


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## Bbpuff (Sep 1, 2010)

I'm 15. 

1.) know what college they're going to/what they want to major in - I don't even plan on going to college.. 4 more years of school? Bleh!

2.) have a job or some kind of income - I'm pretty sure the majority of 15 year olds don't have a job. I don't have one and I doubt I'll start until after I graduate.

3.) are able to drive or get around by bus without needing a parent to hold their hand - I've never driven before in my life. But I know a lot of people have driven a car at least once 14-15.

4.) can actually dress themselves in the morning without looking like complete hobos - I have horrible style and I'm way too self conscious to wear anything that's not baggy. I wear the same thing everyday, but my mom bought me some new clothes for the up coming school year. Hopefully I can make a change.

5.) have a steady circle of friends at any given time - I have one friend who I talk too everyday at school, but I don't have a circle of friends.

6.) have some kind of romantic/sexual experience (I don't care what you say, every single person I know has AT LEAST been on one date or kissed one person or had cam sex/cyber sex) - I wouldn't count cybersex as experience.. o.o But anyways I have kissed a boy 3 times. Twice when I was around 9, and once at 13. (All forced upon, against my will!) :[

7.) have a hobby or something they're actually good at that they can do in their spare time - I'm not good at anything.. All I do is go on the computer.


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## darkrider (Aug 13, 2012)

Paloma M said:


> Haha. I'm sorry but I laughed at the part when you said they know how to dress without looking like hobos. I don't mean to hurt your feelings but you can dress yourself too or are you clueless when it comes to style??? I look like a hobo every day and yes, people treat me differently because of the way how I present myself. So it is important to want to look nice.* I also didn't get my first kiss until I was 18 years old... and I wasted it on a wrong guy so I suggest you not rush yourself because you will regret it*. I'm also not in college right now, but will consider going next year or the next two years. I'm actually a college drop out. So don't turn out like me. My point is I want to let you know that there are other people worst off in life than you are. Also that you are not alone.


This.

Trust me, there is not awesome about making out with random girls. I had my first kiss when I was 12. It was mostly due to puberty and hormone kicking in and we were playng spin the bottle. I regret every single moment of it. I like to pretend it never happened.

There's nothing more romantic and meaningful (or at least I think there is) than telling you're true significant other that they were your first kiss. If I was to tell someone that, I'd be lying.

Amazing huh? Kissing a girl ain't what you make it out to be. I'm pretty sure sex is the same thing as well.


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

The first one is well off, trust me. Most students in there first year of college still have no idea what they want to do. Also, a lot of kids will have a hard time finding a job at 15.


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## rawrguy (Mar 29, 2008)

Sabreena said:


> I saw a thread about where a normal 22-year-old should be in life and it made me think. I feel like I haven't gotten anywhere in life. Even for a teenager, my life is really pathetic. Imagine how much worse it will be in two years when I'm expected to go to college. By my age (15/16), most people:


Can you link me to that thread? I would love to read it.

Okay, as an _actual_ 22 year old with some life experience, let me break your list down for you.


know what college they're going to/what they want to major in
This one is probably the most difficult on your list. I'm 22 and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. My personal dream would be something in music. So my best advice would be to follow your dreams

have a job or some kind of income
I didn't get a job until a month ago. It was super hard for me to get a job with no work experience so I would imagine how hard it would be for a person that is still in high school. Considering how bad the economy is doing right now, don't beat yourself up if you end up getting a job until a little later in life. Once you're old enough, just start applying.

are able to drive or get around by bus without needing a parent to hold their hand
I think by now you should be able to take the bus by yourself. Don't expect to be driving your own car by age 16. Cars are super expensive and insurance prices are sky high for kids at your age

can actually dress themselves in the morning without looking like complete hobos
Just copy the styles you see on tv. Dress like the most stylish kids at your school. Just don't be a poser.

have a steady circle of friends at any given time
This is the second most difficult thing on your list. This is especially hard if you have social anxiety (I am assuming you do). I struggle with this too at my age. If you are unsatisfied with your social life, maybe seek counseling or therapy to help you get on the right track. Also, you can join a club or a sport or something. My circle of friends in high school was in Band all 4 years.

have some kind of romantic/sexual experience (I don't care what you say, every single person I know has AT LEAST been on one date or kissed one person or had cam sex/cyber sex)
I didn't have my first kiss until 19 and I didn't have my first relationship until I was 20. These things just happen and you've got to be patient. I also want you to ask a guy out (or be asked out) on your junior and senior prom. You will definitely regret not going to your prom (I know I do. I think about that almost everyday). Also, you are way too young to be worrying about sex.

have a hobby or something they're actually good at that they can do in their spare time
Try joining a sport or a club or something. If you're into music, maybe choir or band. They'll give you something to do on you free time and you might just meet new friends.

Well there's my advice. I hope it was helpful to you. High school years are the building blocks to your adult life and you will remember them forever. I hope you spend them wisely :yes

EDIT: I just realized you're a girl (sorry I assumed you were a boy). I had to edit the content of this post because of that.


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## millyxox (Dec 18, 2009)

know what college they're going to/what they want to major in
*Woah no. To be quite honest, I think that college isn't for everyone. You have your whole life ahead of you to figure out what you want to do. And I think you should major in a subject that you feel passionate about. I made the big mistake of taking a medical course just because my parents wanted me to...BAD IDEA.
*
have a job or some kind of income
*It's good to have a part time job for experience, but it's not necessary. Better to start young and have experience because I'm 18 now with no experience and guess what no one wants to hire me.
*
are able to drive or get around by bus without needing a parent to hold their hand
*I kind of agree. 15 is old enough to go out without your parents*
can actually dress themselves in the morning without looking like complete hobos
*I only became fashionable when I was about 17. I didn't really care about my appearance at 15 & it didn't really bother anyone. *
have a steady circle of friends at any given time
*No not really. High school is full of back stabbers. The people you think are with you can turn against you in any second. Teen years are unstable years, people change,they try to find their own identity* *so there is no guarantee that your circle of friends will be stable.*
have some kind of romantic/sexual experience (I don't care what you say, every single person I know has AT LEAST been on one date or kissed one person or had cam sex/cyber sex)
*Ha 18 & I still don't got none. *
have a hobby or something they're actually good at that they can do in their sp
*It's optional...It is a good thing to have a hobby to you know have fun and make time pass faster. *
Seriously though you shouldn't stress about it when I was 16 I felt like crap but once you go to college things are really different. Be thankful that you haven't gotten any heavy responsibilities yet.


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## atlex (Jul 23, 2012)

Sabreena said:


> Even for a teenager, my life is really pathetic.


Don't be so hard on yourself, kid. Your life is not pathetic.


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## millyxox (Dec 18, 2009)

Bluefont said:


> *Nope. The only "romantic experiences" I had is with my hand .


Ahaha I think plenty of people can relate


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## aquilla (Aug 18, 2011)

Oh, but I'm significantly older than you and still haven't figured these things out - no job/education, can't drive, income=0, dressing like a hobo, so sexual experience( or actually, never even been kissed ). Somehow I still think that I still have hope. But hey. Most of these things don't come just for free - you have to work for it( like education, job, driver's license) So good luck.


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## shnbwmn (Jul 13, 2012)

My life has been a bit delayed, because I only got most of this stuff sorted out this year (18 right now). Heh, gotta hate SA :blank


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

-know what college they're going to/what they want to major in

No. A lot of people don't think about college until junior year or even the beginning of senior year. Even people in their first and second years of college struggle to figure out their major. I was one of those people who thought I knew what I wanted to do, but switched majors my sophomore year.

-have a job or some kind of income

No. Just because other students around you have jobs doesn't mean everyone does. I know a lot of employers want people 16 and older. I didn't have a job at all in high school.

-are able to drive or get around by bus without needing a parent to hold their hand

No. In my state, people can't get a temporary permit until age 15.5, and can't get their license until age 16. Tons of people even wait til age 18 to skip the mandatory driving school. I got my license at 19. Not a big deal. 

-can actually dress themselves in the morning without looking like complete hobos

Just because you don't spend a lot of time on getting dressed doesn't mean you look like a hobo. You're going to school, not out to meet the president.

-have a steady circle of friends at any given time
This one is mostly true, but there are also plenty of shy or introverted people who wander on their own. Nothing wrong with that.

-have some kind of romantic/sexual experience (I don't care what you say, every single person I know has AT LEAST been on one date or kissed one person or had cam sex/cyber sex)

Who cares what they've done? It isn't a race. Both romantic experience and no romantic experience is normal for your age.

-have a hobby or something they're actually good at that they can do in their spare time

Anyone can pick up a new hobby, whether they excel at it or not. If not having a hobby bothers you, then try something new.


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## omfgletmejoin (Sep 17, 2012)

I'm also 15, about to turn 16 in 2 months.


know what college they're going to/what they want to major in
As people have previously said, this is not true. Not even people in college know what they want to be. That's what general education classes are for. However, I plan to start at a community college then transfer to a state university. If my ACT/SAT scores are good enough, I might just go directly to university and study Computer Engineering.


have a job or some kind of income
In my state, you can't legally get a job until you're 16 years old. Even if you're 16, if there are 30 year olds struggling to find a job, what makes you think some teenager is going to be more qualified for the position? I personally don't have a job and don't intend to get one until summer.


are able to drive or get around by bus without needing a parent to hold their hand
I can't even go to school or wake up on my own. Also, I still need to complete a Driver's Ed class to get my permit, then 9 months of practice to get my driver's license.


have a steady circle of friends at any given time
Nah. You don't need quantity, you need quality. If you have one good friend, it's better than 10 bad friends. Even if you don't have friends, it's better than having bad friends.


have some kind of romantic/sexual experience (I don't care what you say, every single person I know has AT LEAST been on one date or kissed one person or had cam sex/cyber sex)
LOL! Well, I admit to cyber sex with my 12 year old friend on WoW (just messages, no pics or anything). It's pretty easy to have cyber sex; just go on omegle and hope for the best. But I've never had a real boyfriend. I honestly don't want to worry about that until I can get rid of this social anxiety and get my **** together.


have a hobby or something they're actually good at that they can do in their spare time
Does going on this site and playing video games count?


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## whattothink (Jun 2, 2005)

In response to OP topic: Nowhere is acceptable.


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## chantellabella (May 5, 2012)

omfgletmejoin said:


> I'm also 15, about to turn 16 in 2 months.


Just wanted to clarify something guys. I suspect that this person is someone who has been stalking me since 2008. She's about 47/48 years old. She was permanently banned last night, but uses an IP blocker to get on to sites. I wanted to warn you guys that sometimes a person can lie about age on these sites.

Please just be careful.

btw, I'm 54 years old and shouldn't be here either, so I'm leaving now. :tiptoe


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## ihatemoving (Aug 28, 2012)

I'm not sure if you feel the same, but my life feels like it has fast forwarded 5 years and everything in between is a blur. I feel so lost and that I've wasted the past 5 years of my life and don't know what to do with myself as I'm failing socially and this will lead me to struggle academically and it is incredibly frustrating. :/


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## W A N D E R L U S T (Oct 2, 2012)

I'm 15 too!
*know what college they're going to/what they want to major in*
I know that I want to be an interpreter but I don't know what college I want to go to for that.
*have a job or some kind of income*
I have a job but only because my sister got it for me. It's closing down though so I won't have it for much longer and since my sister got it for me, I have no idea on how to actually get a job or what to say in interveiws.
*are able to drive or get around by bus without needing a parent to hold their hand*
We have a really good bus system here so I usually just use take the bus.
*can actually dress themselves in the morning without looking like complete hobos*
If you're talking about going to school, we have uniforms so yeah. But for going out, I only have one outfit that I like, the rest I don't even know why I bought. Then I usually put on mascara and straighten my hair.
*have a steady circle of friends at any given time*
I used to have this up until like last year, I just started hating people, I never showed it to them though but I guess it's cause people change.
*have some kind of romantic/sexual experience*
Haha, I wish! Whenever I feel a guy gets too close to me, I start keeping our distance. I have like this imaginary wall around me that you have to break down to get to the real me and only two guys have ever really done that, but they're both friends. I always just start ignoring them unless they talk to me or I laugh less at their jokes, I REGRET THIS SO MUCH!!! But I always do this, no matter how hard I try not to.
*have a hobby or something they're actually good at that they can do in their spare time*
Does playing sims count? I'm so addicted to it! Don't get me wrong, I still go shopping, to the beach, movies, friends places (not much though), etc. But you don't understand my love for sims!! I've always wanted to do archery though but I don't have a bow and arrows and I don't know where to get them from.

Plus I think another major thing we need to know is how to look after ourselves. I can't cook. The best I could probably do is 2 minute noodles, literally. I need to learn to cook, even though both my parents are chefs and both my sisters can cook fine (my younger sister is 12 and can cook?!?) I have no cooking skills. It's like I'm adopted because I'm so different from my family in so many ways! But I look too much like them and I've seen my birth certificate..


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

At home with her parents finishing high school.


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## Cerberios (Nov 8, 2010)

Don't feel the need to grow up too fast. I have just one thing to state and that is:

SCREW RELATIONSHIPS.

I swear, maybe I am too immature or I'm crazy awesome but you don't need a boyfriend at this age. 

I still think boys have cooties and I'm pretty much at the age where all the boys are hooking up around me and trying to throw winks my way. NO. I DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT THAT BS. Awkward teenage boys dating awkward teenage girls, I think is just a terrible idea.


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## Boring Loser (Oct 21, 2011)

I think knowing what you want career-wise and college wise by the time you're a teenager is too high of an expectation. I wish i had waited till my mid-twenties to start college. I regret choosing what i did in college.

I see lots of 15 year olds that have jobs. All i can think of is how i tried really hard to get a job when i was 15 and 16 and they always told me i was too young and they can't hire me. Then i find out they probably just told me that cause they didn't want me. 

Driving or being able to use the public transportation is really important and useful. But i didn't drive until i was in my late 20s. I wish i had started much earlier. 

Being able to dress yourself...well i still haven't quite learned to do that yet. I'm trying. I know what looks good and what doesn't. The problem is it's just really really hard to find anything i actually like. When i was 15, i was really horrible at dressing myself. Lol some of the things i thought looked good back then...but i looked like a bum.

i guess yeah, the normal kids have a steady circle of friends and fit in somewhere, with some group of people. I kind of fit in with a few people in school but it wasn't till i was 17/18. 

Romantic or sexual relationships shouldn't be rushed with age, it should just be whenever it feels right for you to do, whenever you actually find the person that it feels right with. For some people that will be at a young age and for others that won't be till they're older. It's not good to be rushed or forced.

Having a hobby or interest or something you're good at is important and everyone should have it at any age, whether you're 4 or 89. I don't have that yet. I would like to. 

I guess i'm way too old to be posting here, and my post may not be very relevant to what you're asking, but what i'm saying is it's no good to use your age as an indicator of where you should be in life, and comparing yourself to others to see how inferior you measure up to them, is harmful. Do what you can to get what you want in life right now, and if you don't know what you want yet, don't rush yourself into knowing what you want.


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## irandom97 (Jan 28, 2012)

well in my opinion, i think a 15 year old would be all about figureing out who you are, who your friends are. this is definally the worst age in my opinion because your mature(hopefully) and realizing life. 
i think first 15 year olds have to figure out how to deal with life first. and maybe on the side think of acareer you would want, or get a job.  then when you get older, that's when you can figure out how your life is going to be and do what it takes. maybe around 17 or 18, hopefully before you're out of highschool,


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## kj87 (Sep 30, 2012)

Don't compare yourself to other people. Where other people are irrelevant. What matters is where you are, and where you want to be. If you know where you want to be, and have the drive to get there, you will in time


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## Alas Babylon (Aug 28, 2012)

Who cares? 15 isn't that important, you shouldn't have to have 'achieved' any of the things on that list by 15 (besides dressing yourself and catching a bus). 
Personally, I have changed a lot since I was 15 (though that is more specific to circumstance), when I was 15 I was exceptionally depressed, socially reclusive (or socially retarded), I got extremely nervous talking to anyone outside of my own family (who I barely talked to), and I was bullied massively by the majority of people my age at school. I pretty much only read books, watched doctor who and anime , drew compulsively, wanked and slept. I managed to go months only saying one word answers/not talking to anyone. 
I achieved nothing when I was 15 except for becoming extremely well read for my age. 

I don't think that 15 is an age that you should know what you want to do in life, but I think by 15 you should be independent and able to minimally take care of yourself, as well as have a sense of who you are as an individual.


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## AceEmoKid (Apr 27, 2012)

Pffft. I'm 17, last year in high school--everyone around me is going crazy over college application season. And me?

I don't even know what the eff I'm doing with my life half the time. XD

I mean, I have hobbies...but they're hobbies that are hard to find stable jobs and make money off of. And I have no idea what colleges I'm applying to. I literally have 2 on my list, and they're really hard to get in to. 

Meanwhile, everyone else has 10 to 15 colleges on their lists, have gone and done internships over the summer, and all this other amazing stuff and I'm just left here feeling like worthless crap.


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## Massive (Oct 15, 2012)

I'm almost two years older then you, so I guess I'll take a stab at this. First of all, don't force anything on yourself that you're not ready for. I've landed myself into a lot of trouble by doing that. When you force things on yourself and others, you're bound to create a disaster. Especially for kids like us with Social Anxiety. I've been told that I dress myself well. You've got to feel motivated to present yourself as a well put-together young man.

Here's my rules for dressing myself:
-Never wear the same colour in an outfit unless there's a noticeable shade difference(Light brown corduroy and a dark brown crew. I've never worn anything like that-it's just an example) 
-Never mix a pattern(Stripes + Plaid=disaster for social anxiety) 
-Don't wear anything baggy. If you wear clothes that suit your physique, you'll appear more attractive. 
-Wear a belt. You're a young man with class and elegance, nobody needs to stare at your ***.
-Don't use hair gel. Somebody will comment on it and it'll be a disaster for your confidence. Use hair mousse. 
-Start exercising. You'll appear more confident and will know which styles suit you best. It also releases endorphins and feel-good chemicals into your brain that will help treat your anxiety.

As for having sexual experiences, it's important to do what feels right. I'm pleased to say that I've found a way to be fairly experienced in that area even though I have severe anxiety issues. *If you're nervous, do not try to hide it. Since you've got social anxiety, you've got to play the "sensitive and sincere card". You're not a jock and you're not douche bag, so don't go there because it's not worth it.*

I'd also like to emphasize that you're in absolutely no rush. There's time where I feel nervous and don't feel a need to hookup. That's fine too-It's all about what you feel like doing.


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