# is it okay if your boyfriend keep viewing this woman's profile?



## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

would you accept your bf or gf viewing a guy or a girl's profile repetitively? 

this girl who he is viewing like weekly or monthly everyweek.. was the one who he used to talk to .. they were flirting with each other and they almost click (this happened when we broke up like 5 or 6 months ago ... they were chatting and calling skype and viber..they are long distance..coz he is here and the woman is in the Philippines.. 
and his parents or maybe just him were playing about them getting married so she can come here in America coz it's hard to get here when you're in the Philippines.. 

He keeps viewing her using his mom's account.. I don't understand why he keeps doing it.. I already knew because I saw his mom's facebook already and i saw the activity searches .. I see her every month and even yesterday he liked what she liked on her facebook.. they we'ren't friends on his fb but his mom's fb coz his mom's sister is married to the girl's uncle so they are not blood but still like cousins..


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

I already told him to stop viewing her but he keeps doing it.. I hate it..


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

they only talk for 3 months .. they saw each other for one week only before he came back here in America.. they took sweet pictures like they are close.. I don't understand why he likes her already when it's only been 2 months or 3 months.. like they didn't even see each other for those one whole week.. only like 3 days or 4 .. they aren't talking anymore.I already sent a girl a message before but until now he keeps viewing her using his mom's fb prof


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## HenDoggy (Jul 26, 2014)

i guess confront him about it and see why he keeps stalking her profile lol i dunno seems weird he keeps checking the profile


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

I already did.. I told him not to anymore but he still does..


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

He likes her. But that doesn't mean he doesn't like you too.


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

i would wonder why he would need to keep tabs on some other girl when he has a girlfriend. what does he want from this person.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Seems shady, you and your bf have a lot of things to work on.


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

It's not ok. If you're not comfortable with it break up.


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

I hate it I alaready told him not to view her profile but he keeps doing it over and over non stop.. it's never going to end.. I guess.. I know he doesn't see her but when he goes home to the Philippines after like 6 years.. he will probably see her.. NOw I feel giving up.. I guess he's disrespecting me.. there is no love i guess. even if he mentions about getting married.. I don't see any point anyway..I feel hopeless when it comes to him..


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## Kiba (Apr 26, 2013)

I don't think i'd be particularly cool with it, unless you guys were in like an open relationship. There's only so many reasons why you Facebook stalk someone....


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

he sounds like a cheater or someone on the verge of being one.


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

I guess .. I hope not but I feel less and less trusting him.. once I find a good guy I would probably just break up with him and be with someone else.. coz I really feel hopeless in our relationship.. I'm putting all the energy being loyal to him but he's not ready to do it for me..


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## NahMean (May 19, 2014)

I can already tell where this is "relationship" of yours will end if you keep trying to make it work. I know it's not what you want to hear, but you should call it off w/ this dude. He clearly is not that interested in you if he stalking some other chick in a far away country (and whoever else you aren't aware of). He clearly isn't someone you can trust. Just end it for good before things get worse. Good luck!


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

I guess so.. I'm tired of it I will talk to him tomorrow..


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

^^Agreed, you've said it bothers you and he doesn't seem to take it seriously. Doesn't set the basis for a good, trusting relationship.


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## Grog (Sep 13, 2013)

Your BF is starting to sound like a bit of a dick .


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

I am starting to hate him.. lol well nvm I already hate him for so many years anyway


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

I would never do that. Out of respect for my girlfriend. I'm against all forms of cheating. Even if he hasn't physically done it yet. He is in the cheating mind set.


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

Attempted cheating is no different from cheating. Would you trust someone who only attempted to murder someone because they didnt actually do it?


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

true


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

If your boyfriend doesn't stop stalking this woman, then dump him. Sure he likes you and that Facebook woman, but he chose to be with you. I'm not sure if he's coming up with a plan for the other one. My sister got dumped for another girl. Sometimes a person will dump you to be with someone else instead of cheating on you. I'm not saying this will happen, but you need to confront him about his feelings for you instead of just telling him to stop checking that person's profile.


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

I don't even know. All I want right now is to just disappear from him lol. The thing is we can't stay away from each other. Last time he was talking to that girl. He would always want to see me . Makes excuses to see me. When I say I was going somewhere he would get upset and accuse me that I would rather go on a date than be with his son and him. Idk all of those things. He would keep contacting me. Those were the tiimes we broke up and he was talking to her. It's obvious that he can't let me go. He was trying to talk to a girl while keep me with him. I don't understand him


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## MetroCard (Nov 24, 2013)

When are you gonna leave this guy


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Every post about your boyfriend worries me more and more. He seems like he has entitlement issues if he's going to do everything and anything to make you stay when he has no consideration for your feelings and needs.


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## slowlyimproving (Jan 2, 2014)

ihaveyou1 said:


> I guess .. I hope not but I feel less and less trusting him.. once I find a good guy I would probably just break up with him and be with someone else.. coz I really feel hopeless in our relationship.. I'm putting all the energy being loyal to him but he's not ready to do it for me..


It's better to break up first. Have some alone time, get to know yourself a little more. Then you'll be available (and ready) when the right guy comes along.


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

He told me I always find something wrong in our relationship when I should just be happy. I ALWAYS FIND SOMETHING wrong with what he's doing. Like instead of not spying on him . i spy so I find his mistakes


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## ShatteredGlass (Oct 12, 2012)

You should break up with him. You say you 'hate him', so that's definitely a sign that you're not going to work; not now, not ever. It seems that he neither loves nor respects you either. He wants to cheat on you.


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## Surly Wurly (May 9, 2015)

is noone else concerned that OP is spying on her boyfriends moms facebook activity? whatever this guy is doing thats not cool. if i was with a girl and she started spying on my mum to get at me id feel pretty freaked out.

i mean what if its just actually the mom looking at the girls account? :|


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Surly Wurly said:


> is noone else concerned that OP is spying on her boyfriends moms facebook activity? whatever this guy is doing thats not cool. if i was with a girl and she started spying on my mum to get at me id feel pretty freaked out.
> 
> i mean what if its just actually the mom looking at the girls account? :|


_Thank you_

It took two whole pages before someone even brought this up.

That being said OP should probably consider breaking up with her boyfriend anyway, she makes a thread about their issues at least once every couple of days and he did tell her to go kill herself recently.


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## Kanova (Dec 17, 2012)

Dump the ****ing guy already, Jesus ****ing Crust.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Trainwreck


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

Hahahaha u guys are funny. I know, he just called me this morning then I asked why ? He was like well, is it bad that I call you? I just want to. I was just not in the mood. I know he just called me this morning so I can go to his house and have sex since we only do it once a week because he's busy at work. And that's usually our alone time while Our son is in his swimming class. The. After we'll pick him up. It's very unfair for me because I give him this and he doesn't listen to me. I feel disrespected.


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## Surly Wurly (May 9, 2015)

Persephone The Dread said:


> _Thank you_
> 
> It took two whole pages before someone even brought this up..


lol inorite

"is it ok if your girlfriend keeps stalking your mums facebook account?"


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

Well u know what. I already did confront him about him stalking the woman. And yes he did say that he does. So I'm not just accusing. i know the truth


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

I confronted him like 3 weeks ago but it
Keeps happening and u know what it's not just 3 weeks ago like maybe 4 months ago.


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## Oh Dae su (Nov 21, 2013)

Just please stop with the endless threads and end the relationship. I remember your first posts...Same ****. Always going on about this same guy who you have qualms with everyday. If you really don't want to end it, please start including that you just want to vent and have no intention of actually doing anything about it. It's not going to work, but you're welcome to keep on being miserable with him and using this as a vent source eh.


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

So it means I don't have the right to keep posting here. Okay fine


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## Surly Wurly (May 9, 2015)

ihaveyou1 said:


> So it means I don't have the right to keep posting here. Okay fine


thats not what people mean. they mean that you seem to think that the correct course of action here is to post about it. the correct course of action is to leave him, nothing else. so dont make a thread about why you dont like him - leave him. making another thread wont help you. the only thing that will help YOU - is leaving him.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

I would approach him in a nonjudgemental tone and ask him why he feels the need to keep viewing this woman's profile over and over again. Ask him what he gets out of it? You may even want to try using the compliment sandwich if you need to. If you just start a conversation with him in an accusatory fashion, he will most likely go on the defensive and will cease to listen to whatever you say to him. Using the compliment sandwich, regardless of how cheesy it sounds or how unnatural it feels, you may find your conversation with him to be much more productive.


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## Amorphousanomaly (Jun 20, 2012)

Nah, I'd kick my husband's *** for that. Not that he'd ever do that, because he would know I would kick his ***.


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## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

Persephone The Dread said:


> _Thank you_
> 
> It took two whole pages before someone even brought this up.
> 
> That being said OP should probably consider breaking up with her boyfriend anyway, she makes a thread about their issues at least once every couple of days and he did tell her to go kill herself recently.


I agree with this completely. Also I don't know the complete story. What are you saying to him and him saying to you everyday?

Also, it doesn't matter if your boyfriend did it or not. You guys both seem to have issues. You're going on his mom's facebook and stalking him and he's stalking some girl. That's violating someone's privacy in many ways.

I think you BOTH need some counseling if you want to stay together or just end the relationship. The way you go on talking about him every few days on this forum confirms that you are conflicted about this relationship... and that you saying that you hate him shows ever furthermore that it's not a healthy relationship.

I think what has happened is you've stayed *long past due* in an unhealthy relationship that all unhealthy behaviors have become normal to you and him. You need to completely cut off contact and not take him back and move on with your life.

My question is this: Do you want to enjoy your life or not? Is he making you have fun or just making you feel bad? A relationship should be fun and happy unless some external factor brings two people apart, if the two people are incompatible that's when the relationship brings the most trouble to someone's life.


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## alienjunkie (Jul 11, 2015)

Hell no call his *** out


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

ihaveyou1 said:


> So it means I don't have the right to keep posting here. Okay fine


:lol Given how you have so many threads about you and your issues with you boyfriend, maybe it might be easier to just make one thread about it.. and just keep posting updates on any issues and problems you have with him on that one thread.

It would be more organized this way, and people who are new can easily look back and know your situation.

But the bottom line is: if he's making you unhappy repeatedly, staying with him, or getting back to him will only make you unhappy in the long term. He has shown on many instances that he will not change. Having a son with him doesn't necessarily mean you cannot get him out of your life.


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## markwalters2 (Mar 18, 2013)

I would never let my boyfriend do that.


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## Yer Blues (Jul 31, 2013)

Just have a threesome already.


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## saperson (Jun 28, 2015)

Why are some of you being so rude and mean to the OP? At worst, all she did was post in the wrong forum section (Frustration might have been better). And sometimes leaving a problematic relationship isn't that easy. There can be many issues and emotions involved.


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

Maybe some of them are just telling me the truth. It's very hard to just break up with someone. I am having a hard time doing that. I wish I could just break up without looking back but everytime he calls me and sees me, I couldn't say no to him. I am nice and I don't disrespect a person specially if he's saying sorry. I know I have to learn how to let go to not get treated bad. I just couldn't .. I tried so many times.


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

I talked to him yesterday about "the girl who he views on fb often" I told him why is he doing that? is he curious? does he likes her? are you gonna leave me when you see her ? I asked everything. I told him I'm always worried that we will end up breaking up because maybe one day he will choose her and not me. He said no. He even said "are you crazy?".. He said I'm already happy with you and with what I'm in and what I have now.. he said you shouldn't even think about that. You're gonna go crazy thinking about those things. You're giving yourself a problem. When we're happy, you always make excuses to get mad and look at my mistakes.. He said me and him are already happy ..why do I have to keep looking for more issues? 

When I asked him if he likes her? is he interested in her? ..he said no.. coz last time I was arguing with him and I told him that I'm viewing the girl's facebook and looked at what she posted.. so he was curious and looked at her profile.. he said he isn't interested in her and he doesn't like her. I don't know if he's lying.. 

He told me he knows that I'm also viewing people on my facebook and he said I used to delete history ... he said it's okay with me if you views those people or guys.. as long as when you're with me ..just focus on me.. don't cheat on me.. just look.. nothing else.. that's what's important.. he was serious when he told me that.. he said just look and don't do anything else.. he would be ok with it.. as long as I stick with him..


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

well guys the day I posted it I made a mistake he didn't actually viewed her the other day.. it was like last month when we weren't talking and June.. He said he was just viewing it out of curiosity .. He told me it's not helping when I keep complaining about it.. he just wants me to be happy. Everytime me and him are happy, I always ended up messing our day by accusing him or teasing him with her. 

He said he's already trying his best to get along with me ..he's trying hard now... so why can't I just stop accusing him and just stay happy with him.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

^^ yeah its totally ok if you guys look at other people. Looking at other people isn't cheating. You guys just have to trust each other more.


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

I talked to him yesterday. He was talking to me in a mature way.. thank GOD because last time I couldn't talk to me like that. He's actually different yesterday.. He talked to me nicely. he answered all the questions I have.. he even explained


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

He was even joking about getting married the other day ..he asked me, who's going to be his best man" he doesn't have a guy friend. I was like LOL. last week he jokes around about marriage a lot and getting a house.. I don't know .. I feel like I'm still not ready for marriage. Me and him need to work out our relationship first. Maybe in our 30's we can get married..or maybe not..


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

ihaveyou1 said:


> I talked to him yesterday about "the girl who he views on fb often" I told him why is he doing that? is he curious? does he likes her? are you gonna leave me when you see her ? I asked everything. I told him I'm always worried that we will end up breaking up because maybe one day he will choose her and not me. *He said no. He even said "are you crazy?"*.. He said I'm already happy with you and with what I'm in and what I have now.. he said you shouldn't even think about that. You're gonna go crazy thinking about those things. You're giving yourself a problem. When we're happy, you always make excuses to get mad and look at my mistakes.. He said me and him are already happy ..why do I have to keep looking for more issues?
> 
> When I asked him if he likes her? is he interested in her? ..he said no.. coz last time I was arguing with him and I told him that I'm viewing the girl's facebook and looked at what she posted.. so he was curious and looked at her profile.. he said he isn't interested in her and he doesn't like her. *I don't know if he's lying.. *
> 
> He told me he knows that I'm also viewing people on my facebook and he said I used to delete history ... *he said it's okay with me if you views those people or guys.. as long as when you're with me* ..just focus on me.. don't cheat on me.. just look.. nothing else.. that's what's important.. he was serious when he told me that.. he said just look and don't do anything else.. he would be ok with it.. as long as I stick with him..


I can really tell this is your boyfriends first relationship. No competence at all when it comes to explaining and giving answers. "Are you crazy?" is a list of things never to say to your partner when they bring up something that is on their chest and has been bothering them.

Yep he is. A guy doesn't repeatedly go to a girls profile unless he is interested or a good friend with that girl. The former seems to hold true in this case.

I'm sorry but your boyfriend is a joke has no competency. The face he said this shows he's not serious about you. You are a crutch to him and likely a back up plan until he finds someone better. Also this statement shows that is almost certainly he lied about not being interested in that girl previously if he wants to go and look at other girls on facebook.


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## SwtSurrender (Nov 24, 2014)

ihaveyou1 said:


> would you accept your bf or gf viewing a guy or a girl's profile repetitively?
> 
> this girl who he is viewing like weekly or monthly everyweek.. was the one who he used to talk to .. they were flirting with each other and they almost click (this happened when we broke up like 5 or 6 months ago ... they were chatting and calling skype and viber..they are long distance..coz he is here and the woman is in the Philippines..
> and his parents or maybe just him were playing about them getting married so she can come here in America coz it's hard to get here when you're in the Philippines..
> ...


Ohh that's a bad boy, my ex used to do the same to me. You need to find a man who only looks at you, leave him he's disrespecting you and you deserve better.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

How old is the kid you had with him again?


My mother gave my father several second chances until I just became a teenager and everything went to hell. Sounds to me you want to salvage this relationship no matter what regardless of love still being there or not for the sake of the child.

I'm so sorry you feel trapped and maybe he can change or not, but you're gonna have to be wise and prepare for the worst for the sake of your child. You can change though and in today's world, a woman doesn't have to be reliant on a man, especially one that will cheat yet expect you to remain loyal. One that threatens you or your kid, manipulates, lies, uses you for weekly intimacy then searches for emotional connections with other girls. His own parents support him on never marrying you despite a child being in the mix. It's been years, and you even mentioned you'd leave him for a more reliable, faithful, attractive man. Thing is, unless you finally stop being indecisive and break up with your controlling boyfriend, you will most likely waste more years of you and your child's life of happiness being led on.


He sifted through the trash for your expensive retainer and gave no cares about what other people thought. That's good, good on him for doing what is right, saving money, and retrieving that item putting aside pride. Whether you like it or not, he is part of your family thanks to the shared bond of the kid. 

You both should consider counseling and determine whether or not you two should just separate and have joint custody with weekly visits or you both finally set aside the distrust and jealously to learn to be a loving family again. 

Three options, admit defeat and split, waste more time in this dance you both have, or somehow change into a loving and supportive couple despite the horrible past. 

Posting on here will yield no results aside from criticism and sympathy, things that are essentially worthless to your family, especially that little boy. Please consider couples counseling or any professional help and formulate a plan, a real contingency plan.


If you don't and you both do get married with no real love, I guarantee that later down the line everything is going to crumble and all that hard work keeping it on life support will be wasted.


If you truly believe in love and truly felt you deserved love, you would know of the sacrifices required on both ends and not be afraid to see it through. Anything else is just avoiding the problem and letting time run its course to decide your fate for you. You retain freewill.


It's quite possible his perception of you is riddled with pain and confusion as well, who knows though?


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