# Dating Assumptions That Annoy You.



## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

1. If someone doesn't call you like, 5 mins after the date, they're not interested.

2. All women want "bad boys". Simply not true.

3. Women can't have emotionally detached sex. False.

4. All men want is sex. (mostly true haha. But not always)

5. Lesbians just haven't found the RIGHT man yet. :roll

6. Flirting does NOT always mean that person wants to take you home. 

7. A man should always make the first move? Nope.

Post your own. Keep it cute.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Never really understand why guys immediately text after the date.


----------



## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

komorikun said:


> Never really understand why guys immediately text after the date.


To me it's polite to send a quick message saying you enjoyed the evening and wish the other person a pleasant evening or day. What is wrong with that?

The "wait x amount of days" bull. Why play games, it's childish, just do what feels right to you.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

AussiePea said:


> To me it's polite to send a quick message saying you enjoyed the evening and wish the other person a pleasant evening or day. What is wrong with that?
> 
> The "wait x amount of days" bull.Why play games, it's childish, just do what feels right to you.


But you already said that when you said goodbye. Nothing wrong with it but it always puzzled me.


----------



## little toaster (Jul 5, 2012)

AussiePea said:


> The "wait x amount of days" bull. Why play games, it's childish, just do what feels right to you.


Yeah. Too uncomfortable for her? What if I stepped way out of my comfort zone to ask her out? Oh yeah, doesn't care about that.


----------



## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

AussiePea said:


> To me it's polite to send a quick message saying you enjoyed the evening and wish the other person a pleasant evening or day. What is wrong with that?
> 
> The "wait x amount of days" bull. Why play games, it's childish, just do what feels right to you.


Yeah, I don't think it's a big deal.


----------



## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

Am I supposed to bring flowers or chocolates?

I think that's a bit forward for a first date.. Plus if I were a chick I wouldn't want to carry around flowers everywhere, that would make my SA go crazy.


----------



## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Canucklehead said:


> Am I supposed to bring flowers or chocolates?
> 
> I think that's a bit forward for a first date.. Plus if I were a chick I wouldn't want to carry around flowers everywhere, that would make my SA go crazy.


Ive never heard of that being a good idea, and as you say it's just a pain for the girl.


----------



## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

Canucklehead said:


> Am I supposed to bring flowers or chocolates?
> 
> I think that's a bit forward for a first date.. Plus if I were a chick I wouldn't want to carry around flowers everywhere, that would make my SA go crazy.


That's too formal for the first date. Flowers are for special occasions after the relationship has started.

Oh, that's another assumption I hate. That all women like flowers.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I prefer a bottle of wine.


----------



## Owl-99 (Mar 7, 2012)

That it's all bull anyway


----------



## Lonelygirl1986 (Sep 4, 2012)

I don't see the deal with flowers. Give me the chocolates


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

So flirting DOES always mean the person wants to take you home?


----------



## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

rymo said:


> So flirting DOES always mean the person wants to take you home?


Nah, the assumption is that it does mean that. Plenty of people flirt just for fun and have no intentions of banging that person.


----------



## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

lyric said:


> Nah, the assumption is that it does mean that. Plenty of people flirt just for fun and have no intentions of banging that person.


People need to stop doing that. >_>


----------



## CoastalSprite (Sep 8, 2011)

Canucklehead said:


> Am I supposed to bring flowers or chocolates?
> 
> I think that's a bit forward for a first date.. Plus if I were a chick I wouldn't want to carry around flowers everywhere, that would make my SA go crazy.


My guyfriend tells me the flowers are for the end of date, not the beginning. His rationale is that giving it at the start may set up unrealistic expectations for the rest of the date, plus she would have to carry them. If you give them at the end it would be like.. gah what's the saying, cake on top of the evening or something? Idk. Anyways that made sense to me.


----------



## FeelNothing (Sep 25, 2012)

LOL It's so funny. I literally know nothing about dating!


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

FeelNothing said:


> LOL It's so funny. I literally know nothing about dating!


Neither do I.

Oh well.


----------



## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Well, there is one way to learn about dating...


----------



## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

"Women are attracted to confidence"

That's the biggest fraud of dating world.


----------



## kiirby (Oct 8, 2010)

That holding the door for you is some sign of chivalry, rather than a basic level of politeness which I'd extend to anyone, regardless of gender or physical attractiveness.


----------



## lonelygirl88 (Dec 25, 2009)

Canucklehead said:


> Am I supposed to bring flowers or chocolates?
> 
> I think that's a bit forward for a first date.. Plus if I were a chick I wouldn't want to carry around flowers everywhere, that would make my SA go crazy.


No... you are making the assumption that all girls like chocolates and flowers.... That is an assumption that annoys me!

But to agree with your point... it is too forward for a first date even if the girl was into that stuff.


----------



## lonelygirl88 (Dec 25, 2009)

TPower said:


> "Women are attracted to confidence"
> 
> That's the biggest fraud of dating world.


No... it's HOW they display that confidence...
Is it overbearing? Or is it subtle and in the way that they carry themselves?

If you are sure of yourself it can show in an implicit (good) way... Just in the way you do certain gestures or how you look at the other person...
Cockiness, however, is not attractive to most.
But just because someone is confident does not mean it has to be a bad thing. Personally, I think it's great. Just depends how they display it.


----------



## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

Canucklehead said:


> People need to stop doing that. >_>


Need to stop flirting? Or stop assuming it means anything?

Cuz harmless flirting is fun! I don't know how to flirt but I like it when guys flirt with me. And i know i'm never the girl they are *trying* to pick up. :teeth Well maybe I'm the plan Z? lol...

There is a different though the flirting is never so extreme that I get the impression that they like-like me. I can tell its... just something to kill the time.


----------



## bornunderprotest (Oct 8, 2012)

lyric said:


> 1. If someone doesn't call you like, 5 mins after the date, they're not interested.
> 
> 2. All women want "bad boys". Simply not true.
> 
> ...


 how about: if you're a guy,and you meet a woman, who wants to have sex right away and you don't[for whatever reason,and there can be many]. how do you deal with the potential fallout of that ,as a man? that's not a much talked about scenario,because guys are expected to "be on" all the time,and not all are. but it's taboo to be vulnerable in that way,so guys put on airs, which is kind of sad.


----------



## Tangerine (Feb 16, 2010)

~ That the man has to pay


----------



## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

Tangerine said:


> ~ That the man has to pay


Hey, how is your SA?


----------



## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

ManOfFewWords said:


> Hey, how is your SA?


**Insert multi-paragraph response from chick**

Cool, what are your hobbies?


----------



## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

Canucklehead said:


> Cool, what are your hobbies?


:haha


----------



## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

TPower said:


> "Women are attracted to confidence"
> 
> That's the biggest fraud of dating world.


No it isn't. As a woman, I can tell you it's true.


----------



## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

There is such a thing as a confident introvert.

I think they call them the "strong silent" types.


----------



## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

lyric said:


> No it isn't. As a woman, I can tell you it's true.


Even from a guy's perspective, watching a guy with a lack of confidence trying to talk to a girl looks so unattractive.


----------



## Tangerine (Feb 16, 2010)

ManOfFewWords said:


> Hey, how is your SA?


A lot better than my wallet, I'm afraid.


----------



## northstar1991 (Oct 4, 2011)

1. All women like "bad boys"
2. The guy should always take charge and be the dominant one (I prefer equality)
3. The guy should always make the first move
4. All men are only after sex
5. Women desire sex less than men
6. The guy should pay for most dates


----------



## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

ManOfFewWords said:


> Even from a guy's perspective, watching a guy with a lack of confidence trying to talk to a girl looks so unattractive.


Because that guy displays low social standing.

But if the awkward guy was Justin Bieber, you can bet your sweet life the girl would find it incredibly cute and be turned-on.

I'm a quiet, confident guy, and it got me barely little success.


----------



## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

awkwardsilent said:


> Need to stop flirting? Or stop assuming it means anything?
> 
> Cuz harmless flirting is fun! I don't know how to flirt but I like it when guys flirt with me. And i know i'm never the girl they are *trying* to pick up. :teeth Well maybe I'm the plan Z? lol...
> 
> There is a different though the flirting is never so extreme that I get the impression that they like-like me. I can tell its... just something to kill the time.


People need to stop assuming that it *DOESN'T* mean anything. My life would be so much easier if this were the case.

I'm not flirting to be your friend. >_>


----------



## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

Canucklehead said:


> People need to stop assuming that it *DOESN'T* mean anything. My life would be so much easier if this were the case.
> 
> I'm not flirting to be your friend. >_>


You should upload more pics, tbh.


----------



## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

When people tell me I'm a great catch :roll


----------



## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Canucklehead said:


> **Insert multi-paragraph response from chick**
> 
> Cool, what are your hobbies?


When can I pick you up on Friday?


----------



## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

ThatOneQuietGuy said:


> When people tell me I'm a great catch :roll


I get the impression that girls bang you and then drop you. I'd do the same, only cuz monogamy is for _.


----------



## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

lyric said:


> I get the impression that girls bang you and then drop you. I'd do the same, only cuz monogamy is for p u s s i e s.


I don't like just "hooking up" anymore. I got a taste of what a relationship is and that is what i want.


----------



## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

lyric said:


> I get the impression that girls bang you and then drop you. I'd do the same, only cuz monogamy is for p u s s i e s.


In your opinion. Some people like being in relationships, others prefer hook ups, doesn't mean anything. That was kind of insensitive, even for a joke xP


----------



## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> In your opinion. Some people like being in relationships, others prefer hook ups, doesn't mean anything. That was kind of insensitive, even for a joke xP


I'm so sick of the overly sensitive people on here. :roll


----------



## godhelpme2 (Apr 4, 2012)

lyric said:


> I'm so sick of the overly sensitive people on here. :roll


kind of sick of people who are so oblivious on here :roll it's a f*cking social anxiety forum, of course this site is infested with sensitive people.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

That kissing means sex is imminent. 

Even more annoying is that you can't really talk about sexual things much at all without the guy getting all weird on you. I have to act all fake prudish just to keep things from getting too pervy before I even know the person.


----------



## ThrashtilDeath (Mar 21, 2009)

komorikun said:


> Even more annoying is that you can't really talk about sexual things much at all without the guy getting all weird on you. I have to act all fake prudish just to keep things from getting too pervy before I even know the person.


Weird, it's the same for me, only i'm a dude. Any time I bring up sex just as a topic of conversation, girls automatically assume I'm trying to hit on them. The reality is, I just loathe small talk and find personal/controversial topics much more satisfying.


----------



## Schizoidas (May 11, 2012)

lyric said:


> I get the impression that girls bang you and then drop you. I'd do the same, only cuz monogamy is for p u s s i e s.


I really do hope you're just trying to be cool there.


----------



## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

godhelpme2 said:


> kind of sick of people who are so oblivious on here :roll it's a f*cking social anxiety forum, of course this site is infested with sensitive people.


Yet that doesn't stop people from making offensive comments all the time, then pulling the "I'm sensitive" card. If you thought the joke I made was offensive, then report me. Or ignore it. Whichever one suits you.


----------



## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

komorikun said:


> Even more annoying is that you can't really talk about sexual things much at all without the guy getting all weird on you. I have to act all fake prudish just to keep things from getting too pervy before I even know the person.


I know!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ughhh...like we can't talk about anything sexual like two adults without somebody feeling weird.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Really? Usually I'm the one who is cautious about talking about sex, because evidently that's a horrible thing to do when you first meet someone! I thought the guys had to be more cautious about this.


----------



## River In The Mountain (Jun 6, 2011)

komorikun said:


> That kissing means sex is imminent.
> 
> Even more annoying is that you can't really talk about sexual things much at all without the guy getting all weird on you. I have to act all fake prudish just to keep things from getting too pervy before I even know the person.


Exactly!!!
:no


----------



## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

northstar1991 said:


> 1. All women like "bad boys"
> 2. The guy should always take charge and be the dominant one (I prefer equality)
> 3. The guy should always make the first move
> 4. All men are only after sex
> ...


I like this post =) I don't like these notions either.


----------



## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

Canuckle - Gotcha  Guess its case by case, lol we should all have mouse-over style bubbles so people know how to read us. LOL  Just wave a hand infront of your face and have a bubble pop up over our heads to decode. Ahhh if only life were that simple lol. :clap


----------



## bornunderprotest (Oct 8, 2012)

lyric said:


> No it isn't. As a woman, I can tell you it's true.


many ways to define and measure confidence. there is quiet confidence, and there is loud "confidence", which is often a cover for insecurity. and btw- we're all insecure on some level,that's only human. i stay away from ppl, male or female, who purport to be hyper-confident. they usually are also self-righteous and arrogant,and extremely selfish and inflexible.


----------



## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

Women who enjoy sex are "****s". People still think this in 2012. A woman only becomes a **** or ***** if she cheats, lies to her partner, or has unprotected sex with multiple partners. Women should be allowed to freely enjoy their sex lives as long as they're being smart about it.


----------



## bornunderprotest (Oct 8, 2012)

lyric said:


> No it isn't. As a woman, I can tell you it's true.


 the biggest issue i have here, is that people want to put human nature in a box. some of us, or maybe most of us[and include all genders if you will]are attracted to different things, to varying degrees, at different times. a bit of insecurity, is often the sign of a thoughtful person. too much insecurity can get on a persons nerves. i percieve a lot of ridgid posturing hear,by certain posters,that seems a bit agenda driven,and lacking compassion and openess, to the plurality of human experience. in the US especially,we're a label obsessed culture.


----------



## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

bornunderprotest said:


> many ways to define and measure confidence. there is quiet confidence, and there is loud "confidence", which is often a cover for insecurity. and btw- we're all insecure on some level,that's only human. i stay away from ppl, male or female, who purport to be hyper-confident. they usually are also self-righteous and arrogant,and extremely selfish and inflexible.


There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance obviously. Many people are constantly crossing that line. But I would never call a "hyper-confident" person arrogant. Being sure of yourself and your capabilities doesn't equate to thinking you're better than everyone else. Arrogant people are the ones who are often insecure, and they have to convince themselves they are literally BETTER than others just to feel equal.

But there is nothing wrong with confidence, no matter the form it comes in. Low self-esteem is the real killer.


----------



## bornunderprotest (Oct 8, 2012)

lyric said:


> Women who enjoy sex are "****s". People still think this in 2012. A woman only becomes a **** or ***** if she cheats, lies to her partner, or has unprotected sex with multiple partners. Women should be allowed to freely enjoy their sex lives as long as they're being smart about it.


or not smart,too. to each their own,because one's persons "smart" is another's, "reckless ". and how that is defined, should be for the person to decide, not society;as long as that decision, does not unreasonably impose on others.


----------



## bornunderprotest (Oct 8, 2012)

lyric said:


> There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance obviously. Many people are constantly crossing that line. But I would never call a "hyper-confident" person arrogant. Being sure of yourself and your capabilities doesn't equate to thinking you're better than everyone else. Arrogant people are the ones who are often insecure, and they have to convince themselves they are literally BETTER than others just to feel equal.
> 
> But there is nothing wrong with confidence, no matter the form it comes in. Low self-esteem is the real killer.


 i think we're stuck on semantics here. maybe hyper, just means something a little different in this context, to you and me. other than that, i think we're on the same plane here. we forget, that words that are symbols for emotions, can't be measured,so the meaning is always going to be vague to some degree. a chair is a chair,that's literal and obvious. confidence,that's a whole universe of the personal and subjective.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Most dating myths are forged from insecurity, just like how other myths unrelated to dating are also made. People lie to protect their egos. Religion is a lot like this.

I remember when I was 18 listening to David DeAngelo and Mystery stuff and it messed me all up lol. Took me through a tailspin but made me learn a bunch as the same time--basically, how NOT to act, or acting out of insecurity, hitting on girls with insecurity..blah blah blah


----------



## bornunderprotest (Oct 8, 2012)

bornunderprotest said:


> i think we're stuck on semantics here. maybe hyper, just means something a little different in this context, to you and me. other than that, i think we're on the same plane here. we forget, that words that are symbols for emotions, can't be measured,so the meaning is always going to be vague to some degree. a chair is a chair,that's literal and obvious. confidence,that's a whole universe of the personal and subjective.


i don't mean this as a cheap shot,though you make it kind of easy for me to go here, but psychopaths, in a manner of speaking have high self esteem. i'd not make of fetish of "self esteem" in and of itsef,as being the be all end all of human traits.

[oh well,i sent this to myself by mistake..my bad...]


----------



## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

lyric said:


> There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance obviously. Many people are constantly crossing that line. But I would never call a "hyper-confident" person arrogant. Being sure of yourself and your capabilities doesn't equate to thinking you're better than everyone else. Arrogant people are the ones who are often insecure, and they have to convince themselves they are literally BETTER than others just to feel equal.
> 
> But there is nothing wrong with confidence, no matter the form it comes in. Low self-esteem is the real killer.


It's funny how many times this debate goes 'round and 'round because of semantics. What I see, personally, is that when women talk about "confidence" being a good thing, they often aren't specific enough about what that means. Absolutely everything I've seen and experienced so far in my life strongly indicates that *social confidence* is the key. A guy can be plenty confident in his intelligence or even his abilities in various other activities (so long as they aren't popular like football or playing in a band), but it doesn't really matter much in the absence of social confidence. That's why it's easy for men to get frustrated when they're just told to "be more confident" -- because many of us _are_ confident about certain areas of our life, maybe even many, but they don't happen to be the ones that count (relatively speaking).


----------



## bornunderprotest (Oct 8, 2012)

anomalous said:


> It's funny how many times this debate goes 'round and 'round because of semantics. What I see, personally, is that when women talk about "confidence" being a good thing, they often aren't specific enough about what that means. Absolutely everything I've seen and experienced so far in my life strongly indicates that *social confidence* is the key. A guy can be plenty confident in his intelligence or even his abilities in various other activities (so long as they aren't popular like football or playing in a band), but it doesn't really matter much in the absence of social confidence. That's why it's easy for men to get frustrated when they're just told to "be more confident" -- because many of us _are_ confident about certain areas of our life, maybe even many, but they don't happen to be the ones that count (relatively speaking).


 i agree with you,there is also among american women this demented notion of "perfection", as if that were even possible to achieve or reasonable to pursue. i'm not saying this as a put down of women,but an observation on the comodification of emotions,whereby life is seen as a contest or competition. the poster that we are responding to, seems to have a bit of chip on her shoulder, and enjoy playing the "ain't i a bad *** chick" card; which ironically, is a sign of insecurity not self-confidence. lack of social-confidence, is also often about people who keep a mask on, and never really show who they are,often strangers even to themselves. we all have and need social masks[except people totally lacking social awareness],but it's important to know when and where to let them down and be open.


----------



## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

bornunderprotest said:


> i agree with you,there is also among american women this demented notion of "perfection", as if that were even possible to achieve or reasonable to pursue. i'm not saying this as a put down of women,but an observation on the comodification of emotions,whereby life is seen as a contest or competition.* the poster that we are responding to*, seems to have a bit of chip on her shoulder, and enjoy playing the "ain't i a bad *** chick" card; which ironically, is a sign of insecurity not self-confidence. lack of social-confidence, is also often about people who keep a mask on, and never really show who they are,often strangers even to themselves. we all have and need social masks[except people totally lacking social awareness],but it's important to know when and where to let them down and be open.


Would that be me, by any chance? :roll

Definitely disagree with whatever you're trying to say. But alas, it is the internet and people have difference of opinion.


----------



## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

anomalous said:


> It's funny how many times this debate goes 'round and 'round because of semantics. What I see, personally, is that when women talk about "confidence" being a good thing, they often aren't specific enough about what that means. Absolutely everything I've seen and experienced so far in my life strongly indicates that *social confidence* is the key. A guy can be plenty confident in his intelligence or even his abilities in various other activities (so long as they aren't popular like football or playing in a band), but it doesn't really matter much in the absence of social confidence. That's why it's easy for men to get frustrated when they're just told to "be more confident" -- because many of us _are_ confident about certain areas of our life, maybe even many, but they don't happen to be the ones that count (relatively speaking).


Thank you.

I'm David fighting Goliath here.

I have a real trust in my intelligence and academic abilities, however, it never made girls hover around me. I have a girlfriend, but she is among the minority who saw me as a person worth dating.


----------



## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

TPower said:


> Thank you.
> 
> I'm David fighting Goliath here.
> 
> I have a real trust in my intelligence and academic abilities, however, it never made girls hover around me. *I have a girlfriend, but she is among the minority who saw me as a person worth dating.*


Well you my man, have found a diamond in a sea full of s%^&. You hold on to that one. Women in general don't want to deal with you when your "down and out".


----------



## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

theseventhkey said:


> Well you my man, have found a diamond in a sea full of s%^&. You hold on to that one. Women in general don't want to deal with you when your "down and out".


And men in general don't want to deal with a woman if she gains a few pounds.


----------



## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

lyric said:


> And men in general don't want to deal with a woman if she gains a few pounds.












I guess everybody is fu*ked up.


----------



## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

Women not dating jerks/douchbags when all that I see is jerks/douches with a data.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Rossy said:


> Women not dating jerks/douchbags when all that I see is jerks/douches with a data.


It's typically because the jerks/douchebags are the ones who approach more. If the nice guys approached more they'd probably get the same results; instead, they often don't because they don't want to offend anyone.


----------



## Donnie in the Dark (Mar 15, 2011)

Also factor in the fact that the girl may well be a "jerk/douche" also. Often people seem to lament girls going to guys they see as "jerks" without considering that perhaps that is why they are together. If that makes sense.


----------



## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

Donnie in the Dark said:


> Also factor in the fact that the girl may well be a "jerk/douche" also. Often people seem to lament girls going to guys they see as "jerks" without considering that perhaps that is why they are together. *If that makes sense*.


lol, makes perfect sense. You are pretty much just like the "company" you keep. If he's a sh*t head, then most like she's a sh*t head too.


----------



## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

Heavily tattooed people are more promiscuous.


----------



## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> It's typically because the jerks/douchebags are the ones who approach more. *If the nice guys approached more they'd probably get the same results*; instead, they often don't because they don't want to offend anyone.


Nice guy = / = guy too shy to approach.

Besides, jerks never get friendzoned. Nice guys do all the time.


----------



## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

Thats why I give up being nice seems to get you nowhere.


----------



## northstar1991 (Oct 4, 2011)

TPower said:


> Nice guy = / = guy too shy to approach.
> 
> Besides, jerks never get friendzoned. Nice guys do all the time.


I never want to get involved with a jerk.


----------



## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

TPower said:


> "Women are attracted to confidence"
> 
> That's the biggest fraud of dating world.


Wait, what?


----------



## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

That women give a crap about whether a man is alpha or beta.


----------



## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

AllToAll said:


> That women give a crap about whether a man is alpha or beta.


What about Zeta?


----------



## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

bwidger85 said:


> It's typically because the jerks/douchebags are the ones who approach more. If the nice guys approached more they'd probably get the same results; instead, they often don't because they don't want to offend anyone.


seconded.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

TPower said:


> Nice guy = / = guy too shy to approach.
> 
> Besides, jerks never get friendzoned. Nice guys do all the time.


I'm a nice guy and I don't get friend zoned. How do you explain that? I guess I'm just an _

Using "nice guy" as a term to describe an insecure loser is not correct terminology at all and you should drop it or you will go backwards with dating


----------



## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

sean88 said:


> Heavily tattooed people are more promiscuous.


I did lol.


----------



## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

AllToAll said:


> That sounds more like an ******* than a ****. *A person is a **** when they get paid for sex.* Could we keep it simple instead of throwing arbitrary definitions?
> 
> I care so much that I don't even know what that term means... :roll
> 
> ...


I don't agree with that definition. A **** in my mind is just a woman with a lack of a moral compass. Sexual freedom does not equate to being a ****.


----------



## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

lyric said:


> I don't agree with that definition. A **** in my mind is just a woman with a lack of a moral compass. Sexual freedom does not equate to being a ****.


You're still attributing the word **** to women alone, so that's equally problematic as people who throw the word around like confetti. 
Let's not be hypocrites.


----------



## 50piecesteve (Feb 28, 2012)

Men have to pay for _, what the _?? You dont have a job?? I sweat for a living!!


----------



## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

AllToAll said:


> You're still attributing the word **** to women alone, so that's equally problematic as people who throw the word around like confetti.
> Let's not be hypocrites.


I don't get your point.


----------



## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

lyric said:


> I don't get your point.


You calling women ****s for whatever arbitrary reason _you've chosen_ is the same thing as other people calling women ****s for whatever arbitrary reason _they've chosen_.
You very easily point out others' sexism on this board, but not your own.


----------



## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

AllToAll said:


> You calling women ****s for whatever arbitrary reason _you've chosen_ is the same thing as other people calling women ****s for whatever arbitrary reason _they've chosen_.
> You very easily point out others' sexism on this board, but not your own.


I'm analyzing my own gender and actually DEFENDING women against the ordinary "****" stigma that men like to give us.

But whatever.


----------



## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

XxArmyofOnexX said:


> Wait, what?


That's right.

Unless we're talking about *social confidence* (and social success, obviously), confidence itself is meaningless.

Whether you believe in your abilities or not is something women won't even notice, except if your are extremely whiny about it. If you are confident at something but can't back it up, you'll only come off as arrogant.

Women are attracted to social confidence ONLY if it translates into social success. If you are comfortable talking to anybody but people find you weird or not 'cool enough', then your confidence won't attract a fly.


----------



## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

lyric said:


> I'm analyzing my own gender and actually DEFENDING women against the ordinary "****" stigma that men like to give us.
> 
> But whatever.


Yes, while still using the word against women.


----------



## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

AllToAll said:


> Yes, while still using the word against women.


Alright gurl! :roll


----------



## sorrwel (May 20, 2012)

bwidger85 said:


> I'm a nice guy and I don't get friend zoned. How do you explain that? I guess I'm just an *******
> 
> Using "nice guy" as a term to describe an insecure loser is not correct terminology at all and you should drop it or you will go backwards with dating


This.


----------



## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

The assumption that there are so many nice guys out there. Its funny because they dont seem that common at all. Being nice to a girl you find attractive in no way makes you a nice guy. A nice guy is someone who is nice to everyone, ( within reason). Nice guys do not think that unattractive women are worth less than them.


----------



## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Invisiblehandicap said:


> The assumption that there are so many nice guys out there. Its funny because they dont seem that common at all. Being nice to a girl you find attractive in no way makes you a nice guy. A nice guy is someone who is nice to everyone, ( within reason). Nice guys do not think that unattractive women are worth less than them.


I guess I might be hard to meet if you don't frequent my bedroom :um (not like that! :lol)
I'm not impressed by how most guys are - they are a big reason for my low confidence and social problems - but I haven't really experienced success with girls for being the way I am either.
And then you slowly isolate yourself more and more, I guess.
If there's one thing this forum has taught me though, it's that you should never ever say publicly that you consider yourself a nice guy :blank


----------



## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

Milco said:


> I guess I might be hard to meet if you don't frequent my bedroom :um (not like that! :lol)
> *I'm not impressed by how most guys are - they are a big reason for my low confidence and social problems* - but I haven't really experienced success with girls for being the way I am either.
> And then you slowly isolate yourself more and more, I guess.
> If there's one thing this forum has taught me though, it's that you should never ever say publicly that you consider yourself a nice guy :blank


How so? Do you think women will assume you are like other men?
To clarify men in general aren't so bad. There are decent men, just not a whole lot of ones which fit the nice, friendly guy mold. But as with women there are few people who fit "nice person". The real problem is, if someone does not know who you are, they could not know whether you were a nice person or not. This means that there are potentially a lot of nice people who you do not realize are nice, because you have never gotten to know them.

I think making sure people know who you are is important otherwise how can they like you?


----------



## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

That girls that date jerks are defenseless kitties who have no choice in the matter. Also that guys aren't attracted to women that are jerks, it must always be the other guys fault.


----------



## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

That chivalry is dead.

That men are like parking spaces, all the decent ones are taken.

That all men are interested in only sex instead of forming a strong connection relationship.


----------



## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

theseventhkey said:


> Well you my man, have found a diamond in a sea full of s%^&. You hold on to that one. Women in general don't want to deal with you when your "down and out".


I think he considered dumping her because her legs were too big, though. What do you say to that?


----------



## evginmubutu (Sep 12, 2011)

it annoys me that i am not dating.


----------



## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

rednosereindeer said:


> I think he considered dumping her because her legs were too big, though. What do you say to that?


Her legs are just fine.

90% of guys on this board would sleep with her in a freaking heartbeat. She has that angelic face every guy dreams of.

I'm shocked because from experience, girls who look like that usually reject me.


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

TPower said:


> That's right.
> 
> Unless we're talking about *social confidence* (and social success, obviously), confidence itself is meaningless.
> 
> ...


You are so wrong it's ABSURD!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

confidence and arrogance are two different things


----------



## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

That if I'm being nice to you I'm gay.


----------



## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> confidence and arrogance are two different things


Yes, but being confident at something you're bad at makes you arrogant.

If I jump down a fifty story building, confident that I'll survive, does that make me confident or a moronic idiot? I'll go for the latter.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

TPower said:


> Yes, but being confident at something you're bad at makes you arrogant.
> 
> If I jump down a fifty story building, confident that I'll survive, does that make me confident or a moronic idiot? I'll go for the latter.


Pretending to be confident at something you aren't, when you really aren't confident, then yes, chances are you are arrogant. I might be slightly off on this though so someone correct me if I am.

But, then again, you can pretend to be confident and not be arrogant. I think when you try to fool people you are confident would be more analogous.

blah blah blah. i guess you are right


----------



## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Invisiblehandicap said:


> The assumption that there are so many nice guys out there. Its funny because they dont seem that common at all. Being nice to a girl you find attractive in no way makes you a nice guy. A nice guy is someone who is nice to everyone, ( within reason). Nice guys do not think that unattractive women are worth less than them.


AMEN!!!!! :yes I know so many guys like this, it's sickening.


----------



## Koolio (Feb 25, 2012)

Haha I like how all the guys on this board speak of how nice they are while putting down women. Oh people...


----------



## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

Koolio said:


> Haha I like how all the guys on this board speak of how nice they are while putting down women. Oh people...


What guys on here are putting down women?

I hate the assumption that a guy is shallow if he is attracted to a particular style or body type.


----------



## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

By the way, why is it shallow to be only attracted to thin women?

Let's turn things around, if some guy had a fat fetish and was only attracted to fat women, turning down thin women, would he still be shallow?


----------



## brohuey (Sep 30, 2012)

lol so men can't have a set of guidelines or values on a type of woman he wants to date and in order to appeal to the general standards of women, he is obligated to date a fatty

JUST SO HE DOESN'T OFFEND ANYONE 

hahahaha



also, wtf is confidence?


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Apparently women are obligated to date poor/jobless men. Otherwise they get accused of being a gold digger.


----------



## brohuey (Sep 30, 2012)

komorikun said:


> Apparently women are obligated to date poor/jobless men. Otherwise they get accused of being a gold digger.


everybody is allowed standards! hypocrisy is what fuels humanity. catering to everyone's problems is what keeps us in a rut!


----------



## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

Canucklehead said:


> What guys on here are putting down women?


It happens a lot on here..

Shallowness okay, thats a guys choice, matter of opinion etc etc.

But I draw the line at guys that talk about women as if they are toys, things to use etc. Im just gonna start reporting these things from now on, so it wont exist anymore


----------



## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

That women assume that men always have a job and it's a big shock if they don't. And then assume that the guy is a loser and worthless.

Listen to how women talk, online or off, first thing they ask guys is "So, what do you do?" And they mean job. It's like women these days need to define men by their work status, and everything else about them is far less important. Personality? Meh. Looks. Somewhat important. Intelligence? Half the women out there don't even care about it. But job? They all seem to care most about this. It's the number 1 dealbreaker. Even if they like you initially, once they get to this question if you answer wrong it's over. It's like women are stuck in the "I'm going to be Susie-Homemaker while future hubby is the breadwinner" mentality of decades past. Or maybe they want that status symbol guy to brag to friends and family about.

A guy has a better chance of getting a girl if he says he has aids than if he says he's unemployed.

It's sad because I've always been a good human being regardless of what my employment status was.


----------



## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

mjkittredge said:


> A guy has a better chance of getting a girl if he says he has aids than if he says he's unemployed.


I seriously laughed out loud at this, because it's so true. :rofl

I was chatting this chick up on plenty of fish a few years ago, and when I told her I was in-between jobs she magically stopped messaging me. She didn't even bother to find out that I had a bunch of money saved up, and I wasn't a broke loser.

What's worse is when you tell them your profession and they lose interest, that hurts. Sorry, I'm not a doctor or a lawyer, keep on looking for prince charming that drives a lambo.


----------



## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

brohuey said:


> *lol so men can't have a set of guidelines or values on a type of woman he wants to date and in order to appeal to the general standards of women, he is obligated to date a fatty*
> 
> JUST SO HE DOESN'T OFFEND ANYONE
> 
> ...


Lol, what I found out is men and general can't have a say with ****. We have to take whatever just comes along meanwhile you know who gets to have "tests" and "lists" and "must haves", hypocrites the whole lot of them.


----------



## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

komorikun said:


> Apparently women are obligated to date poor/jobless men. Otherwise they get accused of being a gold digger.


Well yeah actually you are a gold digger.

"Any woman whose primary interest in a relationship is material benefits. A woman who cares more about a man's bank account than she does about the man."

You can hide it with any kind of veil you want it is what it is.


----------



## Unknown88 (Aug 21, 2012)

That girls all want a guy to "provide" for them. I am not a precious little flower, I should be earning my own money and looking after myself. I just need to find work to be able to do this, not having money makes me feel like a parasite.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Dissonance said:


> Well yeah actually you are a gold digger.
> 
> "Any woman whose primary interest in a relationship is material benefits. A woman who cares more about a man's bank account than she does about the man."
> 
> You can hide it with any kind of veil you want it is what it is.


One interest, not primary interest. I'd have a boyfriend by now if that were my primary interest. If women that have some interest in how much a guy makes are considered gold diggers then 80-90% of women are gold diggers. But as I said before there is nothing wrong with gold digging. It's about the same as beauty digging. Wanting a "cute" girlfriend is beauty digging.


----------



## bornunderprotest (Oct 8, 2012)

lyric said:


> Would that be me, by any chance? :roll
> 
> Definitely disagree with whatever you're trying to say. But alas, it is the internet and people have difference of opinion.


 yes it would be you,and and your dissmissive reaction,just proves my point. you're nasty and imature. [more to others than myself,so far] i realize you are young, but truth be told, you act like someone with the emotional maturity of a 12 yr old. yet get off, on getting a rise out of people. this is not youtube, where it's cool to flame out[i do it too]. i'm not saying you flame on people, but you come close to it in your tone,not so much in the actual words. presumably, this is a forum for people with specific issue and problems. your telling a person who questions you, to report you to the site, shows something quite disturbing. you don't seem to understand EMPATHY. it's all about you. i do hope that it's just about imaturity, or something in you that is hurting, and you're simply seeking attention. if not,i do think you should go with like minded people,and raise chaos for it's own sake, somewhere else. i'd not hold my breath,because so far, you've just showed your insecurity by being needlessly confrontational with people, who are trying to do the best they can with their lives. i really do feel sorry for you. hope you can open your heart up,but again,that seems like a pipe dream.


----------



## bornunderprotest (Oct 8, 2012)

komorikun said:


> One interest, not primary interest. I'd have a boyfriend by now if that were my primary interest. If women that have some interest in how much a guy makes are considered gold diggers then 80-90% of women are gold diggers. But as I said before there is nothing wrong with gold digging. It's about the same as beauty digging. Wanting a "cute" girlfriend is beauty digging.


if you are in a bad situation in life, and want a person with money next to you,far be it for me, to judge that. although,that can be an emotionally and even physically, dangerous thing to do. but, to equate, wanting a guy with money, as being the same, as a guy wanting a cute girlfriend, is really demented. it can be shallow, if a guy or gal only wants cuteness,and if young, that can be forgiven and understood, to a degree. but, intentionally focusing on money as being the main import of a relationship, is really sick.....there is no other way to put it. i have more respect for prostitutes,because they at least are up front and honest about it. and yes,it is really just prostitution, for anyone[male or female], to make money of primary import in a relationship. sorry,if thats' harsh,but it's much harsher for you or anyone, if you think that that is a road to happiness.


----------



## bornunderprotest (Oct 8, 2012)

rymo said:


> You are so wrong it's ABSURD!!!!!!!!!!


 there is partial truth here,but there are also people who are attracted to the honest person, who may at times not be self assured. this is just too general,what your stating. i find, some the nicest most interesting people, men and women alike,to be people who are fine with being vulnerable. truly strong people, know, that being vulnerable[when appropriate and in the proper degree]is a wonderful and attractive thing. if you are around stone-cold connivers,then this is not going to work. i avoid BS people, as much as possible.


----------



## bornunderprotest (Oct 8, 2012)

bwidger85 said:


> Pretending to be confident at something you aren't, when you really aren't confident, then yes, chances are you are arrogant. I might be slightly off on this though so someone correct me if I am.
> 
> But, then again, you can pretend to be confident and not be arrogant. I think when you try to fool people you are confident would be more analogous.
> 
> blah blah blah. i guess you are right


pretending to be confident is not so much arrogant,as self-delusional. it's not going to fool many people, either;unless they are socially tone deaf, or want to be fooled for some reason[usually being in love, or wanting something from you]


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

bornunderprotest said:


> pretending to be confident is not so much arrogant,as self-delusional. it's not going to fool many people, either;unless they are socially tone deaf, or want to be fooled for some reason[usually being in love, or wanting something from you]


Faking it 'till you make it is not self-delusional, it's a very conscious maneuver towards actually becoming confident. Faking it just to fake it out of insecurity is yes, delusional and counter-productive.


----------



## bornunderprotest (Oct 8, 2012)

tbyrfan said:


> AMEN!!!!! :yes I know so many guys like this, it's sickening.


don't disagree,but guys[of all ages]get nasty comments from girls and yonger women usually,that cut and hurt also. you gals just don't hear about it,because we dudes don't talk about that so much,for fear of coming across as wussies. so we keep that stuff in,but, it festers and hurts. part of the reason men act out violently more[i'm explaining not justifying], is that we're not allowed to show emotion other than anger. and, even that, is censored today,because people are afraid of[sometimes justifiably], male anger. i think women, may make fun of anonymous men in the street, more than men do of women,but i'm just speculating. it still can sting. not all guys, have stuff just roll off them. we bleed emotionally when poked, too.


----------



## bornunderprotest (Oct 8, 2012)

rymo said:


> Faking it 'till you make it is not self-delusional, it's a very conscious maneuver towards actually becoming confident. Faking it just to fake it out of insecurity is yes, delusional and counter-productive.


ok, thats a little different,though. but,i don't feel that that's really faking it. that's more like plodding through, and doing the best you can, until you get better. then again,it's about that ugly little word, semantics. i don't really think,that we are that far from each others notions. it's just a little bit different, in focus and terminology. hey,whatever works for you,is cool. i mean that sincerely,i'm not trying to be snarky. wishing you the best...


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

bornunderprotest said:


> ok, thats a little different,though. but,i don't feel that that's really faking it. that's more like plodding through, and doing the best you can, until you get better. then again,it's about that ugly little word, semantics. i don't really think,that we are that far from each others notions. it's just a little bit different, in focus and terminology. hey,whatever works for you,is cool. i mean that sincerely,i'm not trying to be snarky. wishing you the best...


Um...thanks...you too. Honestly I don't even know what we're talking about.


----------



## bornunderprotest (Oct 8, 2012)

rymo said:


> Um...thanks...you too. Honestly I don't even know what we're talking about.


i'm sorry forgive me, i was responding to your stating that "faking it till making it",was okay in the proper context,but not something to be doing all the time. that's all...


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

bornunderprotest said:


> i'm sorry forgive me, i was responding to your stating that "faking it till making it",was okay in the proper context,but not something to be doing all the time. that's all...


I forgive you


----------



## bornunderprotest (Oct 8, 2012)

Invisiblehandicap said:


> The assumption that there are so many nice guys out there. Its funny because they dont seem that common at all. Being nice to a girl you find attractive in no way makes you a nice guy. A nice guy is someone who is nice to everyone, ( within reason). Nice guys do not think that unattractive women are worth less than them.


a lot of gals are nasty to unattractive guys, too. guys just don't talk about it so much,because they are made fun of for showing their feelings. it hurts us too,when we're made fun of or ignored. not all guys are steely and cold.


----------



## bornunderprotest (Oct 8, 2012)

bwidger85 said:


> I'm a nice guy and I don't get friend zoned. How do you explain that? I guess I'm just an _
> 
> Using "nice guy" as a term to describe an insecure loser is not correct terminology at all and you should drop it or you will go backwards with dating


being insecure, does not make one a loser,whatever the hell "loser" is suppossed to mean anyway. i have no problem with calling an actively bad person a loser,but to use that term to also label a person, who is trying to do the best they can, with their given life situation,is really sad and perverse. i have to question how "nice" a person really is,when they call a person with insecurity a "loser". sorry,that's just wrong. i've found some the biggest fools in life ,to be people that have an inflated sense of themselves. being secure in a healthy way, does not mean that you are free from insecurity. those who say they are never insecure about something,usually are not very honest with themselves,or are living in a fantasy land. strength, comes from a good balance,not either or.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

bornunderprotest said:


> if you are in a bad situation in life, and want a person with money next to you,far be it for me, to judge that. although,that can be an emotionally and even physically, dangerous thing to do. but, to equate, wanting a guy with money, as being the same, as a guy wanting a cute girlfriend, is really demented. it can be shallow, if a guy or gal only wants cuteness,and if young, that can be forgiven and understood, to a degree. but, intentionally focusing on money as being the main import of a relationship, is really sick.....there is no other way to put it. i have more respect for prostitutes,because they at least are up front and honest about it. and yes,it is really just prostitution, for anyone[male or female], to make money of primary import in a relationship. sorry,if thats' harsh,but it's much harsher for you or anyone, if you think that that is a road to happiness.


I don't see it that way. I see wanting cuteness and wanting money as being on the same level. You say it's sick or demented but you give no reasoning.


----------



## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

komorikun said:


> I don't see it that way. I see wanting cuteness and wanting money as being on the same level. You say it's sick or demented but you give no reasoning.


I very much so agree.


----------



## bornunderprotest (Oct 8, 2012)

komorikun said:


> I don't see it that way. I see wanting cuteness and wanting money as being on the same level. You say it's sick or demented but you give no reasoning.


 no wonder our collective morality as a country is in the dumps,or is that just too corny for you all.....sad...


----------



## bornunderprotest (Oct 8, 2012)

komorikun said:


> I don't see it that way. I see wanting cuteness and wanting money as being on the same level. You say it's sick or demented but you give no reasoning.


reasoning...? if it''s not self evident to you,then i'm not going to try and convince you. i do think, that it's about personal morality. again,if a person is in a difficult situation,then okay i can understand looking for a person with money. otherwise,it's just warped. sounds to me, like the mentality of a generation raised on garbage[so called] reality TV. very sad.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

It is not self evident. It's too bad you can't explain yourself.


----------



## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

If you get down to it, there's almost no reason for attraction that could be considered "pure."

But since it's already up for discussion, I'd rate gold-digging as slightly more disingenuous than wanting a hottie. Appearance is at least a property attached to the individual, whereas money is a separable possession. If a man likes being with a hot girl because it allows him to enjoy the sex more, at least he's enjoying _her_ in the process. If a woman is gold-digging, she's really just trying to bypass the man entirely so she can get her Jaguar and carry Louis Vuitton purses, which has nothing to do with him.

Of course, pure gold-diggers are probably somewhat rare. More often, it's some combination of the material possessions and the high social status being with a rich man affords her (the company he keeps, the power he wields, etc.), which is probably more comparable in "morality" to focusing on appearance.


----------



## bornunderprotest (Oct 8, 2012)

anomalous said:


> If you get down to it, there's almost no reason for attraction that could be considered "pure."
> 
> But since it's already up for discussion, I'd rate gold-digging as slightly more disingenuous than wanting a hottie. Appearance is at least a property attached to the individual, whereas money is a separable possession. If a man likes being with a hot girl because it allows him to enjoy the sex more, at least he's enjoying _her_ in the process. If a woman is gold-digging, she's really just trying to bypass the man entirely so she can get her Jaguar and carry Louis Vuitton purses, which has nothing to do with him.
> 
> Of course, pure gold-diggers are probably somewhat rare. More often, it's some combination of the material possessions and the high social status being with a rich man affords her (the company he keeps, the power he wields, etc.), which is probably more comparable in "morality" to focusing on appearance.


 yup....well said...


----------



## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

anomalous said:


> If you get down to it, there's almost no reason for attraction that could be considered "pure."
> 
> But since it's already up for discussion, I'd rate gold-digging as slightly more disingenuous than wanting a hottie. Appearance is at least a property attached to the individual, whereas money is a separable possession. *If a man likes being with a hot girl because it allows him to enjoy the sex more, at least he's enjoying her in the process.* If a woman is gold-digging, she's really just trying to bypass the man entirely so she can get her Jaguar and carry Louis Vuitton purses, which has nothing to do with him.
> 
> Of course, pure gold-diggers are probably somewhat rare. More often, it's some combination of the material possessions and the high social status being with a rich man affords her (the company he keeps, the power he wields, etc.), which is probably more comparable in "morality" to focusing on appearance.


He's not enjoying her by sleeping with a hottie, he's enjoying a factor of her. It's the same as dating someone for money, you're enjoying a person for what they can give you. A hottie gives a guy sexual satisfaction, and a rich guy gives monetary satisfaction. In fact, a gold digger gives the guy something in return, as well. Arm candy, sex, attention, all of that.
I don't know, I guess I don't see the big deal in dating someone for money. If you want someone hot, you're being selfish in valuing appearance. If you want someone for money, you're being selfish in valuing money. 
Besides, I haven't followed the thread, but I assume this was started by someone saying they wanted a man financially well off. This usually means, financially stable. You don't want to go into a relationship where the person is $20,000 in debt. Does that make you selfish? No. It makes you smart, because that's a mess that no one wants to be in. Money is one of the most important things in the world, everything runs on money. I don't see the big deal about factoring it into what you want in a relationship.


----------



## bornunderprotest (Oct 8, 2012)

Barette said:


> He's not enjoying her by sleeping with a hottie, he's enjoying a factor of her. It's the same as dating someone for money, you're enjoying a person for what they can give you. A hottie gives a guy sexual satisfaction, and a rich guy gives monetary satisfaction. In fact, a gold digger gives the guy something in return, as well. Arm candy, sex, attention, all of that.
> I don't know, I guess I don't see the big deal in dating someone for money. If you want someone hot, you're being selfish in valuing appearance. If you want someone for money, you're being selfish in valuing money.
> Besides, I haven't followed the thread, but I assume this was started by someone saying they wanted a man financially well off. This usually means, financially stable. You don't want to go into a relationship where the person is $20,000 in debt. Does that make you selfish? No. It makes you smart, because that's a mess that no one wants to be in. Money is one of the most important things in the world, everything runs on money. I don't see the big deal about factoring it into what you want in a relationship.


 now ur changing it up a bit. if a person is in debt bec of recklessness,fine,don't get into a relationship with them. because, that's[the recklessly getting into debt] a reflection of their lack of character. however,not all debt is acquired by a person, bec of their recklesness. i'd not hold that debt against that person. if everything ran on money,then we'd be all be killing each other, bec there would be no incentive for humanity, or charity or art,or music, or random acts of kindness. are you an ayn rand fan or something ?


----------



## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

bornunderprotest said:


> now ur changing it up a bit. if a person is in debt bec of recklessness,fine,don't get into a relationship with them. because, that's[the recklessly getting into debt] a reflection of their lack of character. however,not all debt is acquired by a person, bec of their recklesness. i'd not hold that debt against that person. if everything ran on money,then we'd be all be killing each other, bec there would be no incentive for humanity, or charity or art,or music, or random acts of kindness. are you an ayn rand fan or something ?


I don't understand the point you're trying to make. But I don't need it explained because I'm not up for a debate.


----------



## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

bornunderprotest said:


> now ur changing it up a bit. if a person is in debt bec of recklessness,fine,don't get into a relationship with them. because, that's[the recklessly getting into debt] a reflection of their lack of character. however,not all debt is acquired by a person, bec of their recklesness. i'd not hold that debt against that person. if everything ran on money,then we'd be all be killing each other, bec there would be no incentive for humanity, or charity or art,or music, or random acts of kindness. are you an ayn rand fan or something ?


I get the point you are trying to make. You are essentially saying that the amount of money someone has doesn't determine their character or personality, and I do agree with you on that point.

Where I disagree with you is how you are jumping to the conclusion that a woman is shallow if she prefers her partner to be somewhat financially stable.

I don't think that's too much to ask. If you don't have your finances in order, I think refocusing your attention from wanting to start a relationship to that would probably be more beneficial.


----------



## The Quiet Girl (Aug 10, 2012)

1. That the man has to pay for everything, or hold all your crap.
2. That the man has to make the first move.
3. That all men are cheaters and just want sex.
4. That all women love to friend-zone and only date *******s.


----------



## bornunderprotest (Oct 8, 2012)

Canucklehead said:


> I get the point you are trying to make. You are essentially saying that the amount of money someone has doesn't determine their character or personality, and I do agree with you on that point.
> 
> Where I disagree with you is how you are jumping to the conclusion that a woman is shallow if she prefers her partner to be somewhat financially stable.
> 
> I don't think that's too much to ask. If you don't have your finances in order, I think refocusing your attention from wanting to start a relationship to that would probably be more beneficial.


thanks, but thats not what i said: if a woman[or man] prefers someone who is financially stable, thats fine and even wise. i'm talking about how screwed up it is, to make money the center of import. those are two very different things, my friend. also,being into looks is not the same as being into money. although,if it's only about looks,that's kind of screwy,too. especially, if you are beyond a certain age.


----------



## bornunderprotest (Oct 8, 2012)

The Quiet Girl said:


> 1. That the man has to pay for everything, or hold all your crap.
> 2. That the man has to make the first move.
> 3. That all men are cheaters and just want sex.
> 4. That all women love to friend-zone and only date *******s.


 good observations...


----------

