# I feel lame for being close to my family



## freakamidget (Nov 25, 2013)

I have a close knit family. Growing up with SA meant I had no friends at school so my family substitued the friend role. As a result I'm more close with my parents and grandma than most people my age (21) and I feel kind of lame!! I like to hang out with them as much as I can, and miss them easily. When I went travelling I Skyped them all the time, I used to have to go to bed early to do it because of the time difference. People would ask me to hang out with them in the evenings and I'd have to refuse so I could wake up to Skype my family. I felt like I was given some odd looks as most travellers hardly ever speak to their family. I just feel kind of lame up in here! Most people seem to be indifferent to their family and I love them to bits but it makes me feel so kiddy and lame...


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## Chaotic Nerd (Dec 20, 2013)

A lot of people act like its amazing I get along well with my family too


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## AnotherGuy (Aug 5, 2013)

freakamidget said:


> I have a close knit family. Growing up with SA meant I had no friends at school so my family substitued the friend role. As a result I'm more close with my parents and grandma than most people my age (21) and I feel kind of lame!! I like to hang out with them as much as I can, and miss them easily. When I went travelling I Skyped them all the time, I used to have to go to bed early to do it because of the time difference. People would ask me to hang out with them in the evenings and I'd have to refuse so I could wake up to Skype my family. I felt like I was given some odd looks as most travellers hardly ever speak to their family. I just feel kind of lame up in here! Most people seem to be indifferent to their family and I love them to bits but it makes me feel so kiddy and lame...


I understand why you would feel that way. But I want say something that might help put things into perspective. There's nothing lame and kiddie about being close and missing your family. You're not doing anything wrong. One day you will give anything to be close to them but you won't always have them. Especially grandma. She's older and her merely being around is such a wonderful blessing.

Sometimes we young people get so carried away with our own lives and thinking the world revolves around us and our youth, that we are often chastised or chastise others for recognizing the value of family.

Sometimes I spend time with my mother and take her to eat at our usual spot and I wonder to myself what in the hell I'm going to do when she's not here anymore. I wonder how can the world continue to spin without someone that I love so much.

Friends do come and go and you are really young. Enjoy the people that matter because they won't last forever. You can find a healthy balance of hanging out with cherished friends and with family too.

Take care (and stop feeling bad! Haha!)


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## PatheticGuy (Sep 2, 2013)

I've always been the same, very close with family, no friends so any time I did go to do anything it was with them which I often felt self conscious about like people would think I was special or something and needed them to take care of me or something, or like if we went out to eat or to a movie on a weekend I'd feel like people would then know I was a friendless loser, like one time I ran into a girl from school in high school at a restaurant with my family she was all friendly for a bit but went off to go be with her friends and I felt like they must have been sitting there making fun of me for being with my family.

Anyway, in terms of girls I actually find it very attractive a girl being somewhat family oriented, like doesn't mind being seen with them or doing family events not like many people will find any excuse to not be seen with their family or go out with friends instead.


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## CreamCheese (Jul 21, 2010)

I'm glad u wrote this post b/c I was going to post something similar. I'm 23, an only child. My parents are separated, but they live separately within extended families-grandparents, aunts, uncles. On my dad's side, since my aunts are a few hours away from us, me, him and my grandparents drive every other weekend to their place. Everybody who knew would think it's weird I'd drive out every other weekend to go to New York. Even one of my aunt's husband asked me how I manage school when we drive out so much. But I really think it helped me more than hurt me b/c I live in a small town with no friends w/i the area. I never went out during school and only recently have gone out a little bit to socialize. Most of the time, I would lock myself in a room and just spend the whole day *trying* to study, but instead found myself wasting time due to depression and anxiety. 

Sometimes I felt lame about it, but now I don't care. In my culture too, it's not uncommon for people in their 20s to live with parents even after graduation. I talked to my cousin about it and she told me that after her junior year, she really liked spending more time at home than she did after graduating high school. I guess it is not that uncommon. 

I do, however, feel like I have friends who judge me. Sometimes they imply I'm not independent (basically kiddy) but these are people who have not been good people to me and have used me over the course of these past few years. I'm tired of people's judgements. Just do what makes you feel good.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Most of the time i don't even wanna hangout with my family.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

Think of it this way, your family members are with you and are bounded forever. Friends on the other hand, likely will be away in a few good years to move on with their lives. If you maintain that rare good friendship, then you might have those meetups every few years and occasional texts/calls. You should feel lucky that you are close to your family, the people who really do matter more. Take comfort in knowing you never be lonely having your family to consistently mingle with.


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## Jack Jackson (Dec 16, 2013)

There's no way being close to your family is lame! You should feel blessed for having such a close family. Even if you have no friends, you will always have your family. I envy you cuz I barely have any friends and unfortunately for me, I don't have close family members to make up for it. I'm not close to my parents, my sister, my cousins or anyone else in my family. You don't know how badly I wish my family was like yours.


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## freakamidget (Nov 25, 2013)

Thanks for the replies, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. I know it's a fantastic thing I have a close family, but you can't help but feel abit self-concious when you're the only one that seems to have one! 

I guess I'd rather have a close family then a group of friends because at least you know family will always be there. Friends have a tendency to come and go and let you down.

For example every birthday I've had I've always spent it with family, except this year I decided to spend it with friends just to see what it would be like. Well my friends all turned up late, spent the majority of it on their phones and generally made it obvious they didn't want to be there. I definitely wish I spent the birthday with my family!!


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

To be honest...
that's gangsta.
No need to feel lame.


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## freakamidget (Nov 25, 2013)

Thanks but I'll think you find it's very un-gangsta


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

freakamidget said:


> Thanks but I'll think you find it's very un-gangsta


Well, I'm the most distant person I know and I admire the ability and desire to be close to family that my peers have. I feel awful for not needing to interact with the people I care about often out of fear that they doubt my love. My brothers are tough, respectable, and cool, yet they don't hesitate to hang out with their family. Even the toughest, most respected individuals I know of have no shame for loving the company of family. I assure you, your concerns are based on insecurity alone. There is no reason to feel bad. You have a healthy heart and any family would appreciate a person like you. We need people like you  Besides, I think anything so harmless can be cool if you're confident about it  and I've never known of a moment when it was cool to hate being around your family...that's just super insecure. Being insecure has never been cool in my book 

It's very gangsta.


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## amy94 (Jun 28, 2013)

i wish i had that. i try to push my mom and brother to do stuff together with me but they are pretty introverted and don't want to do anything but stay at home. my mom hangs out with her own friends. i wish i was close to my family. i know they love me but i wish they would tell me so i could feel it and at least have 2 ppl to talk to regularly. we barely speak all day. i pretty much just hang out with my dog. it gets really lonely


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## firestar (Jun 27, 2009)

I think it's great that you're close to your family. I would give anything to be close to my mother but she barely talks to me.


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## agal1985 (Jan 19, 2014)

Growing up I always couldn't figure out how people could be so closeto their family. I never got along with mine until my mid 20's and now we are very close. 
It's not lame at all and is actually quite common. It's really a good thing. But having been on the opposite side of this, I can understand why a lot of people do not get along with their families. 
Definitely try and carve out a little time for friends instead of skyping in the mornings and declining stuff at night. I'm sure your family would want you to be out there living life and may have no idea you're turning stuff down for them. 
I wouldn't be able to handle going a day without talking to my mother, so I know how it is. Used to not be able to sleep until I talked to her at night. Very recently I have stopped doing this at night and just am sure to be in touch some time after work. Just giving space to us both


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## Grog (Sep 13, 2013)

Not lame , lucky and nice 
Am jealous .


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## ZADY (Nov 11, 2013)

Family is important apparently. I kind of wish I was close to my family. I got literally no one to share my feelings as I'm not close with family.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Same here. I feel really lame about it. It's better than nothing though i guess.


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## So Tactless (Feb 5, 2014)

What? Your family is the only ones that have your back thick or thin. 

Just thank goodness you don't have a dysfunctional one.


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## Ms Yesterday (Jan 28, 2013)

You shouldn't feel lame that's honestly awesome and I'm jealous.


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## hurleylover (Sep 18, 2013)

It's not lame at all! I love my family more than anyone. My family has also been my replacement for friends (maybe that's not always healthy). I think family are the most important people because they will (almost) always be there for you. You probably feel lame because it isn't "cool" for young people to talk to their families all the time. We are all gonna die so you better enjoy them while you can


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## AceEmoKid (Apr 27, 2012)

I'm really close to my mum and sisters. Especially one of my sisters. We call each other friends, mutually. My family are the only friends that have remained consistent in my life. It's nice to have friends that (probably) won't abandon you. So it's not lame.


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## allthatsparkles (Mar 1, 2013)

freakamidget said:


> I have a close knit family. Growing up with SA meant I had no friends at school so my family substitued the friend role. As a result I'm more close with my parents and grandma than most people my age (21) and I feel kind of lame!! I like to hang out with them as much as I can, and miss them easily. When I went travelling I Skyped them all the time, I used to have to go to bed early to do it because of the time difference. People would ask me to hang out with them in the evenings and I'd have to refuse so I could wake up to Skype my family. I felt like I was given some odd looks as most travellers hardly ever speak to their family. I just feel kind of lame up in here! Most people seem to be indifferent to their family and I love them to bits but it makes me feel so kiddy and lame...


It's not lame at all. It's really wonderful to have a close bond with your family - don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. As long as you're not super dependent on them (but the fact that you're able to go traveling without them shows that you aren't) then it's totally fine to be close with your family.


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## Umpalumpa (Jan 26, 2014)

It used to bother me a lot, Now I enjoy it as much as possible!
It's not lame at all!


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