# Should ugly people get plastic surgery?



## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

To improve their chances at finding love?

Discuss.


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## pastels (Sep 18, 2012)

well the sensitive side of me would say they need to be happy with themselves and not change themselves for others. 

But if there looks are really that important to them and it would make them feel better to get surgery then go ahead as long as they don't look worse then what they went in with


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

Unless you have sort of birth defect or work in an industry where you're expected to look a certain way, I don't see where the changes done by plastic surgery are that significant. I've seen before and after pictures and about half of the people don't look any different and those who do don't necessarily look better in the after. Most people would be better off by getting in good shape and working on interpersonal characteristics. Love based on attributes like physical appearance isn't all it's cracked up to be anyhow.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Well, what would you say to a nerdy person who wants to be less nerdy looking?


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

I'd wait a few years before they perfect it.

Right now people still look like swamp creatures when they get plastic surgery.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Depends on how bad said feature is and if it can be fixed well. A lot of times there is only a slight improvement. I've had a breast lift and I'm extremely happy with it.


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## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

OP, is this your way of asking if YOU should get plastic surgery?

The answer is no. You run the risk of looking worse than you did before. It's not worth it. You need to focus on have a longstanding relationship, not just looking good enough to attract somebody.


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

No. If a ugly person is not loved because of his/her big nose one is not loved after fixing it either. It is not love if something on looks stop possible partner loving him or her. That is when you know you truly love someone when something unperfectiness does not keep you away of him/her. That is love, loving anothers brain, thinking and soul and not just ****able body and looks. Physical love is totally different than emotional love.

"I would take her/him if ine would be skinnier"
"I would be with her/him but ones nose is too big"

No, that is not love and those fat and uglies are blessed to avoid that shallow person.

Of course it is hard for pretty citizens to live in a same town and society with ugly people but that is not a reason to go to a plastic surgery that they should not cover their eyes anymore. People just have to learn to accept ugly people as part of society and just not make kids with them to avoid increasing ugly population.


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## lilyamongthorns (Aug 13, 2012)

If you have body dysmorphic disorder, plastic surgery is not going to fix anything.

You can be the most beautiful person on the outside and still not find love. Have you seen the show _The Bachelor/The Bachelorette_? Beautiful, smart, successful people that are having trouble finding love.

What a person brings to a relationship comes from the inside. You're the Christina Aguilera fan, correct? I've seen you around this forum and you seem like a nice guy. You just need to start feeling good about yourself, and start reaching out to women.


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## sorrwel (May 20, 2012)

No. Ugliness is subjective.


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## elvin jones (Dec 12, 2011)

Should beautiful people get attractiveness reduction surgery? Unless you are horribly disfigured you don't need plastic surgery.


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

WintersTale said:


> Well, what would you say to a nerdy person who wants to be less nerdy looking?


Style and health can vastly reduce the "nerd aura" anyone has. If a "nerdy looking" person wanted to look less nerdy, getting a great body (from working out) and a sense of style would do wonders.

As for plastic surgery. I say it depends on how ugly this person is. If this person has a condition or deformity, I would be more supportive. If it's just an average looking person who doesn't like their looks I'd have to review their personality first. Plastic Surgery may provide content for a while then lead to even more self hate.

For some reason, I don't like fake breast or butts but I'm cool with a fake face...strange


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## Whatev (Feb 6, 2012)

No, unless you were born with some birth defect or got into a freak accident. I vote work on their personality before anything else.


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## FranzKafka (Sep 30, 2012)

Theologic said:


> Style and health can vastly reduce the "nerd aura" anyone has. If a "nerdy looking" person wanted to look less nerdy, getting a great body (from working out) and a sense of style would do wonders.
> 
> As for plastic surgery. I say it depends on how ugly this person is. If this person has a condition or deformity, I would be more supportive. If it's just an average looking person who doesn't like their looks I'd have to review their personality first. Plastic Surgery may provide content for a while then lead to even more self hate.


I agree with all that. Surely people with actual deformities (i mean those unfortunate enough to be either born with special conditions of this type, or acquire them through accidents/disease) have a very valid reason to get surgery if they want to. Some of them even do not want to, which is to be respected as well, but i am in favor of them doing as they like.

For other people: You should first try to see if your "flaw" is real or imagined, and also if it is major or minor. BDD is still by and large an unknown medical condition for most people.


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

yes, so I won't have to look at them without vomiting.


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

SilentLuke said:


> yes, so I won't have to look at them without vomiting.


That was what I meant
:clap
That just proves that people love ugly people and treat them equal!!!!! Uglies truly are people and inside of protection of humanity!!!!

Good for you!!! :teeth


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## slightlyawkward (Feb 16, 2011)

I don't know. I'm so split on the issue of plastic surgery personally. I've contemplated getting implants because I'm what most people would consider completely flat-chested, but on the other hand I hate how implants look and am disgusted by the idea of plastic surgery.


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## BKrakow (Jul 8, 2010)

if a person is really insecure about something and thinks that getting surgery will make them happier and more confident, I think they should go for it. that said, it's not something to be taken lightly. one of my relatives had a few (fairly minor) things done and she was telling me about the aftermath and healing period and everything, and it sounded horrific.


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

Only if they want to. I really don't care what someone does to their body. It wouldn't affect me.


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## slightlyawkward (Feb 16, 2011)

BKrakow said:


> if a person is really insecure about something and thinks that getting surgery will make them happier and more confident, I think they should go for it. that said, it's not something to be taken lightly. one of my relatives had a few (fairly minor) things done and she was telling me about the aftermath and healing period and everything, and it sounded horrific.


I dunno, it depends on if they're secure or if they have something as severe as BDD. I have BDD (I fixate on my chest size) and I know that If I got surgery, it would not help.


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## BKrakow (Jul 8, 2010)

slightlyawkward said:


> I dunno, it depends on if they're secure or if they have something as severe as BDD. I have BDD (I fixate on my chest size) and I know that If I got surgery, it would not help.


yes, that's definitely true. I think plastic surgery should be a last resort in any situation, really, and that people should try to address the source of the insecurity first. if it's an issue of pervasive low self-esteem, changing your appearance will likely not help (and will probably just make you more self-critical). if it's just a matter of someone being persistently annoyed by a certain feature and coming to the conclusion they'd be happier with it altered, I don't see anything wrong with it. but you're right, definitely not a good idea for someone with BDD.


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## BrookeHannigan (Mar 29, 2012)

Define ''ugly'' please?


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

Depends. Is there a specific disfigured feature that is disturbing you so greatly, or are you generally unhappy with all of your looks? If there was a specific feature that _could_ be drastically improved that is giving you great distress, then I'd say maybe. But I wouldn't say get it so other people could love you, you should only do it because it would make you _yourself_ feel better. If you dislike your looks in general, no, don't do anything, you'll probably end up looking worse.

If you have BDD, then no, do not do plastic surgery. When it comes to BDD or just severe low self-esteem, plastic surgery will not help that. You might feel better for a short time, but the depression will come back, and most likely just transfer itself to another area.

What I tend to do, when it comes to assessing my looks. I acknowledge what I don't like. I'm not gonna lie to myself. But then, I acknowledge what I believe to be good, what I'm proud I have. Then I say, what is more important to me? The good aspects. What is gonna draw people to me? My good aspects.

No one is perfect and no one was meant to be perfect. What would happen if our society didn't use make-up, didn't have plastic surgery, didn't have cosmetic dental work, wasn't focused on weight loss etc.. _Everyone_ would have flaws. Honestly, I resent our focus on perfect beauty and attractiveness.

If someone would only like me if I had a pretty face, versus rejecting me if I had flaws, then f-k, that is not someone I would want to be with. There are probably many things you could do, OP, to help with your appearance, make yourself more confident - but you don't have to do plastic surgery, don't give into society's pressures, who you are is more important.


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## NatureFellow (Jun 14, 2011)

no

Thanks for understanding :um


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

It depends on the person and how it will make THEM feel and their quality of life. I won't judge someone for getting cosmetic surgery but I have a Short list of reasons why I would get surgery. 

Honestly if i EVER get my life together and lose the excess weight (not likely), and after afew years I still can't stand the excess skin and/or if my chest is still insanely huge then yeah I might consider skin removal/a boob reduction. But right now I hold out hope that it won't be bad enough for me to feel like i NEED to do that to tolerate living in my own body. I find surgery scary and I definitely would not undergo it just so that people would find me pleasing to look at. 

As much as I wish I could, and if I could wave a magic want and change my appearance with ZERO pain I might go for that but with the way it is now ? Heck no.... not for anyone else. Only for me, and probably not ever.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Plastic surgery is probably the only way I will ever get a boyfriend, BUT I don't want to run the risk of messing up my face. I want several procedures done, so there is a high risk of that happening. Plus, I don't want to not look like myself. I'm hoping and praying that there is a man out there that will love me just the way I look now, but that's just me being an idiot again :roll


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## slightlyawkward (Feb 16, 2011)

tbyrfan said:


> Plastic surgery is probably the only way I will ever get a boyfriend, BUT I don't want to run the risk of messing up my face. I want several procedures done, so there is a high risk of that happening. Plus, I don't want to not look like myself. I'm hoping and praying that there is a man out there that will love me just the way I look now, but that's just me being an idiot again :roll


Umm. You're not at all being an idiot for hoping that someone will love you the way you are. Besides, you're pretty judging by your profile picture.


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## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

tbyrfan said:


> *Plastic surgery is probably the only way I will ever get a boyfriend*, BUT I don't want to run the risk of messing up my face. I want several procedures done, so there is a high risk of that happening. Plus, I don't want to not look like myself. I'm hoping and praying that there is a man out there that will love me just the way I look now, but that's just me being an idiot again :roll


:no You can't be serious.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

tbyrfan said:


> Plastic surgery is probably the only way I will ever get a boyfriend, BUT I don't want to run the risk of messing up my face. I want several procedures done, so there is a high risk of that happening. Plus, I don't want to not look like myself. I'm hoping and praying that there is a man out there that will love me just the way I look now, but that's just me being an idiot again :roll


You have serious body dismorphia if you believe that you are ugly. You look like a model.

..........................

_Meh. I don't know if I'm attractive or not. I was diagnosed with BDD, but I don't know if age has caught up to me, or if I'm guessing that I'm ugly now. I wasn't born with ugly features, but I think age has screwed with my face and body.

Some people here have told me I'm not ugly. But then...why don't girls notice me, except as a friend? That's what I don't get. If it's all about personality, why would they value my friendship, but don't want anything more? And if it's about looks, that makes more sense, but how could I be attractive (like people say on here) and still be passed over as just a friend, and not the boyfriend?

And if it's because I'm shy and socially anxious, that makes sense, but how do I escape that? 
_


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

I guess it all comes down to motive. I don't think it's a good idea to make drastic changes for the sole purpose of pleasing others. If someone wants to change the way they look for themselves, then that's different. They should base their choice on their own happiness, not what they think will make others happy. I've said it a million times, but attraction is really subjective. For every person who likes whatever change is made, there will be someone else who liked them the way they were before surgery.

I remember seeing a show on TLC about a woman without a lower torso. She's happily married with a child. So many people here complain about dating, and claim that only "perfect" men and women find love. You don't have to be perfect. There's so much more to attraction than just the superficial side. But you have to get out there and meet people. Sitting around brooding about your lot in life is not going to get you anywhere. Obviously that woman did not let her condition defeat her. She didn't let it stop her from putting herself out there, and meeting a guy who loves her the way she is. So many people on this site complain about how hard their lives are, when really the only thing limiting them is their own defeatist attitude.


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## lilyamongthorns (Aug 13, 2012)

tbyrfan said:


> Plastic surgery is probably the only way I will ever get a boyfriend, BUT I don't want to run the risk of messing up my face. I want several procedures done, so there is a high risk of that happening. Plus, I don't want to not look like myself. I'm hoping and praying that there is a man out there that will love me just the way I look now, but that's just me being an idiot again :roll




You're gorgeous!


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Maybe I will post a recent picture of myself, and let others decide.

Either way, I can't let this get to me anymore. I know I will feel lonely, but I need to stop beating myself up over never having had a girlfriend. I have:

1. A talent in writing songs, singing, and playing the guitar
2. I am working on a novel, which will be published as soon as I get enough of it written
3. My albums are everywhere, so people can buy them. Hell, if you google my name, you come up with a million results, all related to my music. 
4. I am good at computers, and hopefully will get a good job working with them.
5. I am kind, sensitive, and have a great sense of humor.
6. I at least read, in a generation where most people don't.
7. I have plenty of interests that don't involve dating and relationships. Video games, for example. Or music, movies, books, tv shows, etc.
8. I have a great family, well, at least some of them.
9. I am a good uncle to my nieces and nephews.
10.I have great friends.

Those are 10 strong points. I have a bunch of things going right in my life right now. All I wish was that a smart, attractive girl who would love me, and I could love her, would be there as well. But even if she doesn't show up, at least I still have people and events going on in my life right now, that I don't really have to say that I don't have anything to love about my life.


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## ourwater (Jun 2, 2012)

I don't understand how you will expect to get something such as a septoplasty, recover for 6 weeks, wait 2-3 years for swelling to go down, then find love. Are you used to being alone?


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Yes, I'm pretty used to being alone.

I guess I just really want to be in a relationship. I first started noticing girls at age 11...that was 18 years ago. In 18 years, I haven't managed to get anywhere with women. Maybe I just haven't met the right woman yet.

I just feel so despondent sometimes. I guess I just need someone who will overlook my appearance, and see me for who I really am. If there is a girl like this out there somewhere, please find me!


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

I first liked a girl when I was 11. She had a boyfriend and I never approached her. I've never approached any of the girls that I've liked. Today a girl smiled at me and I smiled back which I almost never do. In my mind I think any girl as pretty as she is already has a boyfriend.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

No. I rather have a real ugly face than have a fake pretty face.


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## 50piecesteve (Feb 28, 2012)

lilyamongthorns said:


> You're gorgeous!


Agreed your very pretty, Id be your boyfriend but my Girlfriend wouldnt like that.


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## Visionary (Apr 13, 2010)

There is always someone for everyone. No one should change the way they look unless they really wanted to do so. Everyone is beautiful, it just depends on the unity of people.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

WintersTale said:


> Yes, I'm pretty used to being alone.
> 
> I guess I just really want to be in a relationship. I first started noticing girls at age 11...that was 18 years ago. In 18 years, I haven't managed to get anywhere with women. Maybe I just haven't met the right woman yet.
> 
> I just feel so despondent sometimes. I guess I just need someone who will overlook my appearance, and see me for who I really am. If there is a girl like this out there somewhere, please find me!


Perhaps you should try to overlook the appearance of a not so attractive girl.


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## meeps (Dec 5, 2011)

komorikun said:


> Perhaps you should try to overlook the appearance of a not so attractive girl.


I do recall him mentioning that women have shown interest in him before, but he didn't find them attractive.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Canucklehead said:


> I'd wait a few years before they perfect it.
> 
> Right now people still look like swamp creatures when they get plastic surgery.


Only the BAD surgeries. You don;t even notice that someone has had a good one. Look at this woman after chin surgery. If'you had not seen her before, would you know?


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

^^^That looks a lot better. A receding chin makes people look slovenly or not the most intelligent.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

scarpia said:


> Only the BAD surgeries. You don;t even notice that someone has had a good one. Look at this woman after chin surgery. If'you had not seen her before, would you know?


That's what I'm talking about.

I can't tell if it's my face, or my personality. But for some reason, I just don't get anywhere with women.

I really don't want to be a 30 year old virgin who has never kissed, but I face that in less than a month!


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

In 9 days I'm going to be a 42 year old virgin who has never kissed. If I don't chicken out I'm going to tell a girl that I like that she is pretty. One of things is that I don't know how old she is. She might have a boyfriend.


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