# can online friends give you satisfaction?



## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

is it possible to feel a bond with someone you meet online?

or are friendships only reserved for the real world?


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## equiiaddict (Jun 27, 2006)

Of course. I love my online friends just as much as I love my real life friends.


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## jennyyyxo (Apr 3, 2015)

definitely


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

equiiaddict said:


> Of course. I love my online friends just as much as I love my real life friends.


do you look for different traits in online friends compared to real life friends?


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## mattmc (Jun 27, 2013)

If an online friend said something nice to me or we were getting along discussing a shared interest it would feel awesome. I'd be smiling at the screen.

But, much like real life, I'm anxious all the time. Rendering it difficult to truly enjoy another person. All I can think about is how likely I am to say something stupid. To the point where I doubt a friendship is a good idea from the get go.

Online friendships have meant the world to me. Same as real life though, I'm too broken to keep them from falling apart.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

I'm not really that much of a needy person. I can be satisfied just by posting. I have a few people I watch on Youtube who post regular videos. Kinda feels like you know them after a while.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

They certainly can. If you find someone you really connect with, hang onto them.


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

tf is a friend?


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

yeah, if they bother to talk you.


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## Robleye (Sep 26, 2012)

Of course. It sucks not being able to see them in person, but with SA it might be easier to connect with people online than in real life. Not that it should be a complete substitute for social interaction though.


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## Mrs Salvatore (Mar 27, 2014)

I don't know. I'm trying though.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

Don't get too attached to online friends.


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## meandernorth (Nov 12, 2014)

I've met some great people online.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I don't know.


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## Steinerz (Jul 15, 2013)

Maybe, but they tend to come and go. Probably my fault. Some have disappeared on me out of the blue.


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

millenniumman75 said:


> I don't know.


this is my stance. I'm not sure if online friendships are real or not.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Yes


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## Aloe vera (Apr 20, 2015)

It's definitely possible to develop a bond with online friends. I've done it many times. I don't think I'll ever be fully satisfied until I've met them in real life though. Maybe it would be different if I had both kinds of friends.


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## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

Yer i was happy with mine but they can ditch you easy just dont log in or ignore you


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## SociallyAnxiousCoffee (Sep 8, 2012)

I've been hurt by online friends a lot. It's too easy for them to hit the block button on you for the most trivial things, even after talking for years. Online communication is 1 dimensional, so I don't think it's very satisfying, simply because you can't see the other person as a 3 dimensional person, and they can't see you that way. 

Whenever I talk to an online friend on the phone or something, it's always amazing to me how different they are from their flat online personas. I really enjoy hearing their voices. I've had a few nights where just talking to a friend on the phone, even though they were in another area of the country, has gotten me through. Hearing a human voice and reading a flat, 1 dimensional paragraph on a computer screen are worlds apart.

You're less likely to have communication problems with friends offline than online. Heaven forbid you be socially awkward online. I've had friends flip out on me and block me because they thought I said something I didn't say, and they never stopped for a moment to inquire as to my true meaning.


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## Conviction07 (Aug 23, 2013)

I kind of feel like having online friends is like beating a video game. You feel like you've accomplished something until you get off the computer and realize in reality it means nothing.


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## Esteban (Dec 8, 2014)

I think it depends on how introverted you are. I get little-to-no satisfaction from RL friendships. Communication in person tends to be unsatisfying because people don't have enough time to formulate their thoughts into something more satisfying. 

Communication in person is often just annoying because it mostly involves talking about the social group, your place in the social group, negotiating boundaries, passing some self-appointed leader's tests (to confirm your values are in line with the group's apparent values), and blah blah blah. When they finally get around to actually doing something, they have to attach significance to the event in light of their group values and the individual members. Many of the members won't even like the event itself -- they just use it as an excuse to repeat the above tired process because that's what they really enjoy doing (their political tempests in a teapot). 

It's one big delusion of meaning -- with the added annoyance of (at least some of) the meaning having to be negotiated with the other group members. If you don't like the result of the negotiations, then you need to settle to make sure you're conforming with group values or you'll be seen as selfish or difficult or weird and kicked out or placed at the edge of the social group. Then you get to attempt to find a different social group. 

The group member who doesn't embody group values, of course, can be the self-deprecating guy of the group with humor that skirts around how he's not embodying such values in an amusing way. By expressing his insecurity and weakness in a way that makes the group members laugh, he secures the position of clown. 

So many social groups spend so much time on this political nonsense that they hardly ever do anything interesting, which is why I prefer social groups that exclusively revolve around some activity, such as snowboarding. Even then they tend to drag you down with the above negotiations. The whole tired process repeats itself.


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## Chieve (Oct 9, 2012)

Definitely 99%of my friends were online and I also met one of them in real life, its definitely possible, I actually made a lot of friends in a cyber life of World of Warcraft, now that may not catch your interest but just an idea and something to think about  there are other games, sites, and what ever to. Meet people too


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## CoffeeGuy (Sep 23, 2013)

I believe that you can form some types of loose bonds with people online, but I don't believe an online friendship can ever really be as strong as a good, real life one.


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## meandernorth (Nov 12, 2014)

With technology today, it's much easier for online friendships to work. Besides the forum, things like Skype, Facebook, text messaging, etc. can let you keep in touch free or relatively inexpensively. Even overseas. My mobile carrier lets me text dozens of countries for 'free' and place calls for cents/minute. Support and friendship can come in many ways and it doesn't have to always be in-person.


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## marianammsfc (Jun 29, 2014)

For sure


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

I've made some good online friends, yeah. It's a bit depressing knowing I could probably not talk to them in real life, though.


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

The answer to me is somewhere in between. Online friends are the only friends I have. If I didn't have the ability to talk to people online, I'd hate to think where I'd be now. Probably much worse than now, which is saying a lot, considering I barely have the will to get out of bed every day.

Do they cure loneliness though? Are they enough? No. They really aren't. After a while, the psychological toll of not seeing anyone, not being able to spend time with them in person and generally not using your voice to talk is too much.


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## BIB64 (Mar 29, 2015)

I have more online friends and closer friends online than I do in rl.


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## SD92 (Nov 9, 2013)

I doubt it. But I've never made a online 'friend' despite posting on forums since 2007.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

What is this thing humans call friendship?


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

scarpia said:


> What is this thing humans call friendship?


I've seen it on tv a few people went to a holiday resort to drink alot of alcohol do embarrassing things and then get checked for stds and maybe someone gets their penis bitten off :stu is that it


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## Cletis (Oct 10, 2011)

I get attached to my online friends and miss them when they don't post for a while. It's natural, I think.


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## arja (May 16, 2015)

It`s possible.


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## AllieG (Feb 20, 2014)

I wish I had more online friends. They really do help if you are a lonely loner in real life such as myself.


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## Memories of Silence (May 15, 2015)

Yes, and I think you can get to know people online better than you did in person if you already knew them, too. I think the more time you spend with them online, the closer you'll get.

I have known some of my online friends for 10 years from another forum I went on, but a lot of people lost contact after it closed, and others deleted me from Facebook for no reason. Those were some of the best friends I'd made there.

The bad thing is that they can delete you for no reason, or move on from you and find new friends and forget about you. The friendship can end very suddenly.


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## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

Conviction07 said:


> I kind of feel like having online friends is like beating a video game. You feel like you've accomplished something until you get off the computer and realize in reality it means nothing.


I SEE what you mean.... but I dont agree totally.

remember that the person you spoke to is a real person, with real feelings, ideas, thoughts, and problems and humor, and they have interacted with you on at least a basic level. .... if you can manage to talk to them by voice over skype or something.... then this adds more dimension to it at least and if you have seen their picture also helps slightly.

you are interacting with a real person..... a computer game is 100% virtual....it cant interact or talk to you like a real person.

so there is a difference between in interaction with a sterile computer and interacting with a REAL person using a computer as the means of that communication.

I value on-line people to a degree.... but you have to be strict with yourself.. and not go too attached. because if you get extremely attached you risk being hurt a lot if your communication is broken..


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## Potato Girl (Jul 22, 2013)

I definitely think so. But at the same time I want a 'hey it's the middle of the night and I'm dragging you out to go to some random place on an adventure!' type friend which you can't really get if they're online :/


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## Jade18 (Mar 6, 2011)

I have only one really good friend online
and i seriously love that guy and think ill be devasted when our paths will part


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## SummerRae (Nov 21, 2013)

Only got my one important one now. So yes, I think you can. Just because they can't be there physically doesn't mean they can't be there for you in a time of need or just to talk.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I think there are benefits to real life communication that you can't get from online communication, especially through text, but I think you can make genuine friends online. It seems no less likely than in real life at least and you certainly can talk to a wider range of people online if you want to.

My closest friendship is all online now through text, though it did start in real life.


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## Smallfry (Oct 11, 2004)

Finding others online is just as real to me as a connection made in - person. Friendships take time to develop and losing one can be just as upsetting as real life.


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## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

my first thought when i saw tt...








scarpia said:


> What is this thing humans call friendship?


not sure exactly, but i think it's some kind of death trap.


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## wrongnumber (May 24, 2009)

Yes. Although I kind of view them like cartoon characters. Like they're not totally real. I've discussed this with the ones I have, and I find it helps if I can hear their voice or if can see a written message to me in their handwriting (I refuse to video chat). This reminds me they're a real person again but it only lasts for a little while and I revert to seeing them as cartoons again. I appreciate them in my own odd way though.


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## mattmc (Jun 27, 2013)

Online is complicated as hell because you don't have that friendly atmosphere naturally.. you know, that would come about by just being near friends. That has to be generated by words or not exist at all.

Of course, with anxiety, offline is just as complicated or worse. I'm screwed.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

wrongnumber said:


> Yes. Although I kind of view them like cartoon characters. Like they're not totally real. I've discussed this with the ones I have, and I find it helps if I can hear their voice or if can see a written message to me in their handwriting (I refuse to video chat). This reminds me they're a real person again but it only lasts for a little while and I revert to seeing them as cartoons again. I appreciate them in my own odd way though.


I know exactly what you mean.


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## Kind Of (Jun 11, 2014)

Yes, if you get to know them well enough.

I found what I'm pretty sure is a long-lost sibling. We both made tabletop games as children, used to collect dice, and were terrified of the deep sea sound known as the bloop, among other things. Now all that's left is the pseudo-incestuous sex.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Kind Of said:


> Yes, if you get to know them well enough.
> 
> I found what I'm pretty sure is a long-lost sibling. We both made tabletop games as children, used to collect dice, and were terrified of the deep sea sound known as the bloop, among other things. *Now all that's left is the pseudo-incestuous sex.*


Can I watch? :blushopcorn


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## alienbird (Apr 9, 2010)

Meh. You don't actually know the people you talk to online. People can put on an act or respond to things in a completely different way than they do in real life. Even if they are being authentic with their words, it still isn't showing what they are actually like. You aren't seeing their mannerisms or way of responding. Even with voice/video chatting, people can pretend to be someone they aren't fairly easily or behave better/different than they would in person.

You can't hang out with online friends like real friends (or do much of anything with them). You can get attached to them, sure, but you're really getting attached to some version of them you have created in your mind... not who they actually are. 

I guess online friends helped me because I was/am so lonely... but they don't compare to hanging out with someone in person or having that real bond.


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## Kind Of (Jun 11, 2014)

Paper Samurai said:


> Can I watch? :blushopcorn


"Fun for the whole family" means family only! :b


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