# Can girls be romantic?



## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

The thought just crossed my mind. I have a hard time remembering the last time I ever saw a girl being romantic. 

When I think of a romantic move, I picture a dude buying flowers or chocolates for his girl, inviting her to a restaurant, planning a surprise vacation, writing her a poem, lighting up candles and spraying rose petals in the bedroom etc... it's part of the whole "women like to be seduced by sensible men who take care of them" stereotype.

I guess I consider romantic moves as part of the man's seduction arsenal to impress his woman. Whereas a woman has absolutely no reason to be romantic. What for?

It's also possible that whenever a guy is being romantic, we refer to it as "romantic" - but when a girl acts the same way, we just label it as "sweet" and the word "romantic" doesn't cross our mind for a second.

Anyways, what's your opinion on the matter?


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## Gas Raid (Feb 19, 2014)

Yes, a girl can be romantic. But you're right - some of them should be trying a little harder, but you can't lump them all into that group.


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## changeme77 (Feb 22, 2013)

Is this a serious question? I would think girls like romance more then men.


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## Gwynevere (Oct 6, 2013)

I think your last paragraph has it, we just don't label it as romantic, and also for the most part guys want different things so the romantic things we do are just different. Girls surprise guys with gifts all the time, but also, the next time your gf gives you a surprise lapdance, that's romantic.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

I thought all we had to do was give a blowjob and call it even.


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## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

changeme77 said:


> Is this a serious question? I would think girls like romance more then men.


It's not about what they like, it's about what they do.


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## Gas Raid (Feb 19, 2014)

Barette said:


> I thought all we had to do was give a blowjob and call it even.


The sarcasm is seeping from every corner. I laughed.


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## alienbird (Apr 9, 2010)

I'd be really "romantic" and affectionate.
:sigh

I've always thought most guys were annoyed by behavior like that, honestly.


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## zomgz (Aug 17, 2009)

Girls can be romantic, why not? Besides, you're not even considering lesbian dating and relationships. Gifts aren't the only romantic gesture in existence.


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## alienbird (Apr 9, 2010)

Barette said:


> I thought all we had to do was give a blowjob and call it even.


Blowjobs aren't romantic? :lol


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I think our definitions of romantic are different. I don't view being bought flowers and chocolate etc as romantic, I view them as cliche, unless they're somehow personal. Basically I think of romantic gestures as being something personal you do for the other person because you know they'll enjoy/appreciate that. So in that sense yes, I can imagine a woman being romantic.


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## beffa (Mar 30, 2014)

i think i'm more romantic than anyone i've ever spoken to


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## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

Gas Raid said:


> The sarcasm is seeping from every corner. I laughed.


I'm not sure it's entirely sarcastic. She has a point.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

Grand said:


> Blowjobs aren't romantic? :lol


Well maybe a half-hearted one isn't.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

Mr Bacon said:


> I'm not sure it's entirely sarcastic. She has a point.


How could I ever be sarcastic to one of your points? You always blind me with your wisdom. I need shades.


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## prettyful (Mar 14, 2013)

im a hopeless romantic


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## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

Barette said:


> How could I ever be sarcastic to one of your points? You always blind me with your wisdom. I need shades.


I'm happy to be the sunshine of your day!


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## changeme77 (Feb 22, 2013)

I'd just be happy to get a bj. I can be romantic like that.


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## RiversEdge (Aug 21, 2011)

No.

Just women. Only certain women though. Sexy, confident, sensual women who like to give as much as receive. And only for a certain type of man. A man who has found a way to strike her interest, get in her head, rock her world a little. It never gets boring.


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## Jcgrey (Feb 5, 2011)

My ex wife was very,


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## redstar312 (Jun 2, 2012)

I wouldn't know.


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## mb47 (Sep 30, 2013)

Persephone The Dread said:


> I think our definitions of romantic are different. I don't view being bought flowers and chocolate etc as romantic, I view them as cliche, unless they're somehow personal. Basically I think of *romantic gestures* as being *something personal you do for the other person because you know they'll enjoy/appreciate that*. So in that sense yes, I can imagine a woman being romantic.


Precisely! Men and women alike are romantic all the time. We just usually forget to call it that unless it's one big gesture, or a cliche.


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## markwalters2 (Mar 18, 2013)

Tight dress and cleavage to me are romantic..


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## Reclus (Jan 11, 2012)

Mr Bacon said:


> The thought just crossed my mind. I have a hard time remembering the last time I ever saw a girl being romantic.
> 
> When I think of a romantic move, I picture a dude buying flowers or chocolates for his girl, inviting her to a restaurant, planning a surprise vacation, writing her a poem, lighting up candles and spraying rose petals in the bedroom etc... it's part of the whole "women like to be seduced by sensible men who take care of them" stereotype.
> 
> ...


And you live in the city of love? This is a sad commentary on Parisiennes.


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## Raeden (Feb 8, 2013)

Grand said:


> Blowjobs aren't romantic? :lol


How does the act of putting another's genitals in your mouth (without biting) not scream romance to you?


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

I don't think guys want romance like that for women to really be romantic.


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## zomgz (Aug 17, 2009)

Raeden said:


> How does the act of putting another's genitals in your mouth (without biting) not scream romance to you?


Swoon!!


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

Raeden said:


> How does the act of putting another's genitals in your mouth (without biting) not scream romance to you?


Biting makes it more romantic.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Mr Bacon said:


> It's also possible that whenever a guy is being romantic, we refer to it as "romantic" - but when a girl acts the same way, we just label it as "sweet" and the word "romantic" doesn't cross our mind for a second.
> 
> Anyways, what's your opinion on the matter?


It's because girls tend to do romantic and thoughtful things without making a big deal out of it. My sister is a good example of a romantic female, and her boyfriend rarely gives anything back.



Persephone The Dread said:


> *I think our definitions of romantic are different.* *I don't view being bought flowers and chocolate etc as romantic, I view them as cliche, unless they're somehow personal. Basically I think of romantic gestures as being something personal you do for the other person because you know they'll enjoy/appreciate that.* So in that sense yes, I can imagine a woman being romantic.


This is how most women view romantic actions. This is what they actually want(and what they tend to give). Not flowers and a box of chocolate once a year.


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## BobbyByThePound (Apr 4, 2012)

This is silly. Girls are usually more romantic than men.

Romantic is not buying stuff. Romance is older than consumerism.

Romantic is a mentality. It embraces the non-physical aspects of love.

Being romantic elevates the physical act beyond sex and into making love. Women are romantic by receiving things like flowers and chocolate. Those gestures wouldn't matter to them if they weren't romantic.

Men are usually only "romantic" to please women. Women don't generally buy us flowers. I personally would feel embarrassed. But women do other things. There's a lot of romantic gestures and some of them are subtle.


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## lunarc (Feb 25, 2014)

My memory is really awful. But I can remember a few occasions where different girls have been romantic. I think the whole consumerism part of romance makes you not appreciate the cute little free parts. 

- Wrote me cute love letters.
- Got me Doctor Who cuff-links because it was my favourite show. 
- Wrote a whole diary about me. 
- Payed for movies or dinner. 
- Random hugs. 
- Telling me cute things.
- Calling/talking to me late at night.
- I needed to use their mobile/cell phone for a few days and she recorded cute messages on it for me to listen too. 
- We were suppose to make smores, so we went out looking for supplies but couldn't get any because it was too late. So like randomly 2 months later I come to her house to visit and she has everything set up to make smores even though I had forgotten about this incident. This was the most romantic thing someone has done for me lol.


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## SPC (May 14, 2011)

girl can be romantic. in my experience though, its seems that males go for more quantity of smaller simpler romantic gestures while females seem to prefer initiating romantic schemes not that often but when they do, they are very thoughtful and grand gestures (ie quality over quantity).

for example, i have always showered my current combat companion with corny love notes and crude MS Paint drawings (she lives in america and i live in hong kong atm). for a few months she would never reciprocate in kind so i just assumed that she was tolerating my gestures. so last fall she tells me she has a week off work and we decide to use that week to visit japan, which we did and that was fun and all that. i flew back to hong kong the day before my birthday and the whole time i was thinking to myself 'too bad she has to work and i cant spend my birthday with her'. so my birthday rolls around and someone rings my doorbell in the morning, and its my combat companion with her bags. turns out she had actually taken two weeks off but had kept it secret from me so she could fly to HK and surprise me on my birthday. when i asked why she was so reckless (so many things could have gone wrong with her plan), she brought up all my crappy notes and drawings and stuff and how this was her way of doing things.

needless to say, all original plans that day were cancelled.



Grand said:


> Blowjobs aren't romantic? :lol


YES THEY ARE

/thread


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

SPC said:


> girl can be romantic. in my experience though, its seems that males go for more quantity of smaller simpler romantic gestures while females seem to prefer initiating romantic schemes not that often but when they do, they are very thoughtful and grand gestures (ie quality over quantity).


I agree.


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## AceEmoKid (Apr 27, 2012)

lunarc said:


> My memory is really awful. But I can remember a few occasions where different girls have been romantic. I think the whole consumerism part of romance makes you not appreciate the cute little free parts.
> 
> - Wrote me cute love letters.
> - Got me Doctor Who cuff-links because it was my favourite show.
> ...


this post gave me major d'awwwwws.

oh yeah and this thread is silly. of course girls can be romantic. i think generally any human with a strong love for another and a tendency to be sentimental can perform romantic gestures. i think OP has a narrower definition of romance that is focused on cliches, such as buying physical gifts like flowers, or paying for a fancy/expensive dinner. personally, i find that type of materialistic "romance" to not be very romantic at all, unless the receiver is particularly fond of flowers or escargot with red wine.

also confused why OP would think girls have no reason to be romantic. um. i didn't think that only one gender is interested in pleasing their partner. also seems like a rather heteronormative definition of romance. what about lesbian relationships? i couldn't imagine two people who love each other not giving and taking in terms of romantic gestures....it would virtually be a sexual or platonic relationship, otherwise.


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## Perkins (Dec 14, 2010)

lunarc said:


> My memory is really awful. But I can remember a few occasions where different girls have been romantic. I think the whole consumerism part of romance makes you not appreciate the cute little free parts.
> 
> - Wrote me cute love letters.
> - Got me Doctor Who cuff-links because it was my favourite show.
> ...


That is cute. I must say I'm relieved some of us are willing to pay for dinner (or movie, whatever) on dates. I remember the first time I went out with someone and after we saw a movie (he payed) we were discussing where we'd eat, and then I said, "I'll pay." And he was in such disbelief, lol. But he was happy, obviously. I just can't stand the idea of being a freeloader. When I went out again, I did the same thing again.


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

I am romantic but evidently guys don't like it.


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## lunarc (Feb 25, 2014)

eveningbat said:


> I am romantic but evidently guys don't like it.


Some of us do .


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## DeniseAfterAll (Jul 28, 2012)

Can monkeys Laugh ?


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## DarkSage (Mar 28, 2014)

^ How romantic.


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## changeme77 (Feb 22, 2013)

Raeden said:


> How does the act of putting another's genitals in your mouth (*without biting*) not scream romance to you?


Something you have considered obviously


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## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

lunarc said:


> My memory is really awful. But I can remember a few occasions where different girls have been romantic. I think the whole consumerism part of romance makes you not appreciate the cute little free parts.
> 
> - Wrote me cute love letters.
> - Got me Doctor Who cuff-links because it was my favourite show.
> ...


Nice! How sweet.


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## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

eveningbat said:


> I am romantic but evidently guys don't like it.


oh well....there is _someone _who likes it I am sure......


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## DenizenOfDespair (Aug 13, 2012)

Thinking about this question is what led to my drinking problem.


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## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

Didn't read any comments so it might have already been said, but here's my take, it all depends on what the other person wants, so do guys really care about a girl acting romantic to them? Probably not, but do guys want a girl to act sexy and seductive? Most of the time yes. So guys are romantic to appease women and women are seductive to appease men.


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## RiversEdge (Aug 21, 2011)

Raeden said:


> How does the act of putting another's genitals in your mouth (without biting) not scream romance to you?


I've never heard it put in such an un-sexy way before. That is some dry non-sexy oral sex.


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## coniconon (May 16, 2012)

I consider myself romantic... don't know if guys are into that though.


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## Ningen (Mar 31, 2014)

coniconon said:


> I consider myself romantic... don't know if guys are into that though.


I know for a fact that some like it  Romance without being romantic? It sounds like some kind of paradox to me :|

And I think girls are more romantic than guys actually, in my experience (not necessarily personal experience... I'm not that kind of guy :um). But they do it in different ways, guys go for huge things that could be straight out of Hollywood movies, then the rest of the time they play video games and drink beer. The girls do sweet things, just little things but they do it all the time. And of course girls write the emotional FB statuses and Twilight fanfics:b

I mean, everyone's different of course and there'll be so many exceptions to that, but if I had to stereotype I'd say girls are the romantic ones


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

KILOBRAVO said:


> oh well....there is _someone _who likes it I am sure......


Oh, dear :hug


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## pineapplebun (Oct 25, 2011)

Persephone The Dread said:


> I think our definitions of romantic are different. I don't view being bought flowers and chocolate etc as romantic, I view them as cliche, unless they're somehow personal. Basically I think of romantic gestures as being something personal you do for the other person because you know they'll enjoy/appreciate that. So in that sense yes, I can imagine a woman being romantic.


I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. I was starting to think maybe I'm just picky - because I find it kind of thoughtless to give cliche flowers/chocolates and not trying to personalize gifts by considering what the person actually likes. It's a part of the "thought that counts".

And I think Mr. Bacon had a point in his last statement that when a woman is romantic, we tend to associate it with the word 'sweet' instead compared to a man. So in that case, it's just arguing about labels - meaning women can indeed be romantic.


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

Yes! God damn I love a romantic woman. Just gets me going like nothing else


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## AlchemyFire (Mar 4, 2013)

Hang on, let me get the rose petals


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## PandaPop (May 21, 2010)

Of course they can. I'm always romantic and affectionate to the person I'm with.


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## straightarrows (Jun 18, 2010)

Jcgrey said:


> My ex wife was very,


it's the time to forget her and move on in your life!


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## Gracie97 (Jan 17, 2013)

I am an absolutely hopeless romantic, you have no idea, to the point where it hurts me deeply. 
I'm BPD so ya know....


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Girls are generally the audience for what's known as "chick flicks", so, yes, they can.


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## regimes (Aug 24, 2011)

Barette said:


> I thought all we had to do was give a blowjob and call it even.


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## Norton (Aug 18, 2012)

Barette said:


> I thought all we had to do was give a blowjob and call it even.


lol that is funny. I guess romance comes in all shapes and sizes (pun intended...lol)


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

crimeclub said:


> Didn't read any comments so it might have already been said, but here's my take, it all depends on what the other person wants, so do guys really care about a girl acting romantic to them? Probably not, but do guys want a girl to act sexy and seductive? Most of the time yes. So guys are romantic to appease women and women are seductive to appease men.


I disagree.
I think girls are not romantic. In fact, I think they secretly want to pack stun guns to use on men to date zap them.

:haha If you think I am kidding, I am.


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## Znuffle (Jul 22, 2014)

Mr Bacon said:


> The thought just crossed my mind. I have a hard time remembering the last time I ever saw a girl being romantic.
> 
> When I think of a romantic move, I picture a dude buying flowers or chocolates for his girl, inviting her to a restaurant, planning a surprise vacation, writing her a poem, lighting up candles and spraying rose petals in the bedroom etc... it's part of the whole "women like to be seduced by sensible men who take care of them" stereotype.
> 
> ...


Romance has been printed on males asses..

So whenever a girl does something romantic with a guy. Like as I would say make food, dresses nicely for me or shows me some um............. stuff.. >///<

It's just cause we don't call it romance.. I think it's really just our fault that we just call it nice or sweet or considerate when girls does romantic things to a man.

Don't think it's a problem tho  It's just a word I guess.. It's described in most manly activity. But is also a girly activity in my opinion. Whether I call it romantic or sweet whenever she does it.. Thats up to me I guess.. If she wanted me to mention the word romantic she would have to tell me  And ofc wouldn't have a problem with doing so.


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

For me, romantic implies also something that has a bit of adventure in it - an unexpected turn of events, a situation that puts the two people together.


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## Zyriel (May 20, 2011)

Hmm first one would have to define "romance" well you sorta did lol, but I think what most would take into consideration is modern gender roles. Women now share the majority of the responsibilities in the workplace and in overall relationships than men do, so it's sort of a "mutual long term partnership" in most cases.

In the past, "feminine beauty" and the behaviors associated with it, was an art form that was practiced in day to day life. Men also practiced "romance" as you put it in their role as the "protector" and "provider". Both were highly cultured in independent spheres of influence, which was refined into the gender roles. So each was seen as the pinnacle of "development" for each, in order to secure a marriage. Which often times also included various other factors independent of the behaviors themselves. However, the behaviors often reflected one's "status".

But again these things had practical reasons aside from social ones. In modern times as you highlighted many women don't have the need for that.

In a personal opinion, I wouldn't think "sweet" as "romantic". Sweet would be a infused within an action, gesture, or overall attitude. Romantic on the other hand is more of a "mood", that is something rare and mutually exchanged. If one was to describe romance, it would be something along the lines of enchantment, admiration, warmth, closeness, intimacy within an idealistic setting. One could be romantic (as for a member of either gender) by displaying one's affection through words and actions.


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## Dre12 (Jul 25, 2014)

A girl who is a friend, but was once kind of in love with me, painted a couple of pictures that were inpsired by me, that was quite touching. One ex girlfriend used to get me things quite often that she thought I might need, and I usually did need them. 

I don't know about stereotypically elaborate romantic gestures. I think they can be quite tacky really. I think it is those gestures that show you that a person is really thinking about you that really mean something, big or small.


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## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

Asking the wrong question. The real question is "can boys appreciate romantic gestures?" I see girls constantly doing such sweet and romantic things for their boyfriends, and I feel like the guys just don't even think notice it.


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## Dre12 (Jul 25, 2014)

Shameful said:


> Asking the wrong question. The real question is "can boys appreciate romantic gestures?" I see girls constantly doing such sweet and romantic things for their boyfriends, and I feel like the guys just don't even think notice it.


Man bad - Woman GOOD!


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

Dre12 said:


> Man bad - Woman GOOD!


:clap


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

Shameful said:


> Asking the wrong question. The real question is "can boys appreciate romantic gestures?" I see girls constantly doing such sweet and romantic things for their boyfriends, and I feel like the guys just don't even think notice it.


Well I feel like there should be reciprocation in all relationships. If one party is doing all the romantic gestures, eventually that party is going to stop or even move onto someone else.


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## lydella (Oct 30, 2014)

A lot of guys would appreciate a girls romantic gesture. Forget the stereotypes. Most people even guys would agree that it feels good that someone would want to do things to impress them and make them feel remembered and special.


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## Visionary (Apr 13, 2010)

I've done a -romantic- picnic for my boyfriend. Made all the food myself and we went to the park. 

Other times we walk around San Francisco and I usually take my boyfriend to places he's never been before, sorta an adventure and experiencing new things all at the same time. We've traveled to a foodie heaven, to sitting on a small beach, with seeing a live band play on the streets, and ending it in china town with a big bowl of Pho.


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