# I think I have problems...



## Lia Lomik (Sep 25, 2015)

Hi, my name is Ali (the name I wanted was taken so I spelled my name backwards as my username) and I'm in high school. I only have a few friends but they're good friends, they're not weird either. They're actually all quite popular and stuff, but then there's me. I never know how to talk to people and when I do I think I bore them and that they're only pretending to listen and that they don't actually like me and just feel sorry for me or something. I've been called weird countless amounts of times (even by my friends) so it doesn't bother me all that much but it still makes me think about myself. I personally think that I have a few mental disorders (my parents don't like to 'label' me or my brother so they don't get us checked... Stupid, I know, but they would get us checked if they felt we wanted to be) like some sort of attention disorder or something. I don't like being in the spotlight at all but I don't know how else to describe how I am, it's like I always tell really pointless stories and say really random things and then realise that it was un needed and that I shouldn't have said it, so I go silent. Usually people just ignore me when I say these things but I still feel like I annoy them. I also think I have a form of anxiety or maybe bipolar disorder but my doctor said that I'm fine and just needed to talk to more people. My doctor is really bad though, you could come in with your leg hanging off and she would tell you that you just need a plaster or something lol. Sorry for this being long but I'm just wondering what I should do in this situation. If I didn't describe it clear enough it's basically that people think I'm weird and (I didn't include this) but I get sad over any form of rejection (it could be as simple as me asking if someone could help me move something and they could say "sorry not now I'm busy" and I would probably cry)


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## Jene (Jan 13, 2012)

Hi there, Ali . Welcome to SAS! I'm sorry you're having difficulties with anxiety and high school and doctors and all that stuff. Most of us here are probably not qualified to give any kind of diagnosis, and you know your situation much better than we do, but it sounds to me like you could have some SA. When I was in junior high, I used to have friends who would call me weird too, and I'd mostly brush it off, but like you, I would wonder about it later. It's funny how certain things people say have a tendency to stick with us, even though we tell ourselves it's not a big deal. Anyway, I don't really have advice for you (other than maybe try talking to your parents about getting a different doctor? or possibly talking to your friends, if you decide that you'd rather they not say things to you that you find hurtful? okay, I guess I have advice, but feel very free to disregard it, because you know your situation much, much better than I do), but I just want to let you know that you're not alone in your struggles :squeeze.


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## Lia Lomik (Sep 25, 2015)

Thank you for that. I don't think talking to my parents would do much. They wouldn't really pay much attention to something like that. They probably don't see it as important.


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## FieryHeart (Apr 2, 2015)

I can't guarantee that your parents will take it seriously, but it is worth a try. I was so scared of telling my parents that I emailed them while I was at my grandparents' house. Idk if it'll help you but what I did was start a timeline of my anxiety, trying to figure out when it started, etc. and then I made a list of symptoms (sweaty palms, shaking, nausea) and ways anxiety negatively affects my life (can't answer the phone, I can't perform anything, low self esteem). I sent that to them and they actually have been really supportive, so yeah it's terrifying but worth it.


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## Lia Lomik (Sep 25, 2015)

I tried telling my mum but she shouted at me and told me to stop being stupid. Not very supportive as you can tell. She says I 'push buttons' and stuff... I can understand that I may have been bring up the topic quite a lot but she's not helping.


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## Jene (Jan 13, 2012)

I'm so sorry about that. It's the worst feeling when the people closest to you are not being supportive. Do you think you could get her to read an article about anxiety or bipolar, to get her to see that they are real issues people deal with?


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## TruthAndOtherDisasters (Dec 17, 2013)

Honestly the whole talking a lot and then shutting up and so on, definitely sounds like anxiety. I can only see such things now when I have enough knowledge about such things, but it does. Basically your brain goes in overdrive over what would happen in conversation if you're nervous(like if you have no answer for something that is said and you look like an idiot, or what if nobody says anything and...) and the instinct is to say as much as you can, because that way you have control over it, in a way. But of course because you're nervous you end up saying way more than needed. Sometimes people have the opposite reaction and are unable to say anything. In any case it doesn't seem like attention thing, it seems more like anxiety thing, for sure.
I'm not sure what to advice you, other than reading as much as you can on anxiety and anxiety techniques. And find a counselor or therapist or someone you trust to talk to. And stick to those forums too. There is merit in getting your worries out of yourself, whether in forum, blog, or journal only for yourself. Trying to describe things on paper sometimes shows you a new side to things which you wouldn't have seen otherwise.


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