# Not doing what your therapist tells you to



## Nanami (Aug 1, 2013)

Anyone who's been to therapy, have you ever had weeks where you didn't do _anything_ your counselor has told you to do? When you went back to see them what did they say?!

My counselor suggested I read for an hour a day (only did it twice in two weeks and the second time I only read for half an hour), run everyday (only went outside once and I walked) and write (only did it two or three times in the past two weeks). Such simple tasks and I can barely even do these! ;_;

I know he won't get mad at me but I feel like I'm letting him down. I know that sounds stupid but I can't help feeling that way! :afr I almost can't bear to face him tomorrow due to my failure but I'll go ! :cry


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## lostinlife (Jun 2, 2010)

I've never been in therapy, but I've had some coaching relationships before. I do feel bad if I don't meet my weekly goals, but you can't beat yourself up over that. Just do what you can. People are usually understanding. They usually ask about successes/setbacks for that week and we talk about having "down" weeks and we strategize about what to do next week. Improvement is always an evolving process.


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## newusernamethatdoesntexi (Jun 15, 2013)

I'm in the opposite situation. I usually do my "homework" and then she never mentions it! Even though the last time we met, it was something really important that I had to do or write down/think through. Then when I go to see her, I never know how to bring up the topic I had worked out, so we never end up going over it.  You sound like you have a good therapist though! I'd just let them know the limits of what you're comfortable at this point in time. If they're setting goals that seem unreachable, maybe they don't know how bad your SA actually is?


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## Nanami (Aug 1, 2013)

lostinlife said:


> I've never been in therapy, but I've had some coaching relationships before. I do feel bad if I don't meet my weekly goals, but you can't beat yourself up over that. Just do what you can. People are usually understanding. They usually ask about successes/setbacks for that week and we talk about having "down" weeks and we strategize about what to do next week. Improvement is always an evolving process.


Ah thanks. =} I don't like making excuses but the day I left my last appointment I called my family and found out my brothers in jail again because he didn't go to his risk assessments. He was sentenced to 1 year in jail but he has a reevaluation in mid December. He also got into a fight and fractured his skull before that happened so me being unable to handle any type of stress it triggered me into a deeper depression. Hearing why he got arrested in the first place wasn't really fun to find out either. :|


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## MkMiku (Apr 29, 2010)

Hope things go better for you and your family. 



yukikodunkzone said:


> I'm in the opposite situation. I usually do my "homework" and then she never mentions it! Even though the last time we met, it was something really important that I had to do or write down/think through.


^ This.


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## Nanami (Aug 1, 2013)

yukikodunkzone said:


> I'm in the opposite situation. I usually do my "homework" and then she never mentions it! Even though the last time we met, it was something really important that I had to do or write down/think through. Then when I go to see her, I never know how to bring up the topic I had worked out, so we never end up going over it.  You sound like you have a good therapist though! I'd just let them know the limits of what you're comfortable at this point in time. If they're setting goals that seem unreachable, maybe they don't know how bad your SA actually is?


Well I've only seem him three times so you're probably right about that and I never actually mentioned SA since I'm kind of there for a bigger problem but I did tell him I was on a social anxiety forum. Now that you mentioned it the last time I came in after setting a couple goals he never brought up if I did them or not. He usually starts by asking how I've been doing since the last time I saw him and we go from there.

The only thing I think he might have wanted me to do for sure was with the writing thing. I'm suppose to write about my day and how I felt and why I felt that way then look back on everything I wrote and pick out the things that are the most important stressors in my life and talk about them. I think I have enough written to maybe be able to come up with something and I can think about it on my own before tomorrow. ahhh I feel better now thanks!


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## Nanami (Aug 1, 2013)

MkMiku said:


> Hope things go better for you and your family.


Thanks ^~^ they irritate me to no end though. =P Not my brothers but I worry about them all the time.


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## Thatguy55 (May 23, 2013)

I lied to my therapist once, he knew right away and it was unbelievable how he managed to figure it out without me even saying much.

That aside, I typically did everything he said but it took A LOT out of me to do them.


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## VeMuñeca (Sep 5, 2013)

Yes. My therapist has told me I should take time off from school to seek professional help because I am severely depressed. I know she's right, but I haven't done it yet because I rather be at school than stay home. But I should take a semester off to fix myself.


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## Greenwick (Oct 12, 2012)

People I know in therapy with other problems just admit they couldn't do the tasks. No big deal! That just means you can't do them yet, and you need another approach. I bet your counselor will have helpful ideas about how to accomplish these things, or maybe some other challenges that are easier to meet.


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## tallausca (Oct 2, 2013)

I've not done what my therapist said. He said to volunteer somewhere but I just keep forgetting! And it's probably because I'm really apathetic about it. I don't give a **** about it. I just want to hide even though that won't get me anywhere.


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## Hanalila (Jun 30, 2012)

If I've found that I can't stick to what they've told me to do, I tell them, and try to explain WHY. Or, we go over why I couldn't do them. Usually it's too much for me. So in the past I've said "I can only focus on ONE thing this month - how about this?" and then we work on that.

If it's going out for a walk, then I think about the reasons why I don't, and work on that. Or make it a goal to put my shoes on and step out the door, maybe walk down the street...if that's my goal every day, then I can work on that! (and usually once out the door I can go farther)

So I guess just talk to them and maybe there's a way to make your goals more simple or fit with your life more. Because we all go through overwhelming periods in our lives - maybe find one thing you can do even in those times.


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## pinkkeith (Jul 25, 2013)

My therapist gives me homework every time I see her. She does asks how it went during our next session and it is always the first thing she mentions. If I didn't do it I always am honest with her and try my best to explain why I couldn't do it. 

You do need to remember that therapy requires work. You won't get much out of it if you don't put what you learn into practice. I always try my best to do what she asks of me, but sometimes the anxiety gets to be too much.


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## Crimson Lotus (Jul 26, 2013)

Well, it's not like he/she's paying you to do this tasks, it's the opposite actually.

Therapy is all about yourself, about getting better, not about pleasing or impressing your therapist. If you're failing to follow up with the process then the only one being hurt is yourself, so you should be afraid of facing yourself not the health care professional.


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