# Best friend doesn't want to talk anymore? Please help?



## kitsunegirl15 (Dec 10, 2012)

Basically I just lost my best friend of five years. We did so much together, have amazing memories, and shared everything. About a month ago she started talking to me less. I finally confronted her and she told me being around me was draining her. We both have had issues with depression. I'm just more open about mine. Then she also said neither one of us was benefiting from the friendship, but before she got more depressed recently she said being around me had taught her so much and I feel being around her has taught me a lot. She means so much to me. She also just found out her boyfriend likes another girl. First she said her being distant was because of that and that things would be back to normal between us once she recovered, then she turned around and said it had to do with me. I haven't been the best friend in the past, but I didn't think it was this bad. I wrote her a long letter apologizing for anything wrong I've done and I'll give her space after that. If that doesn't work, should I just give up on her?


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## oku (Dec 9, 2013)

Not too long ago, I lost a close friend whom I hanged out with for almost a decade. I lost faith in friendship ever since.


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## dh94 (Jul 19, 2013)

oku said:


> Not too long ago, I lost a close friend whom I hanged out with for almost a decade. I lost faith in friendship ever since.


How did you lose your best friend?


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## saraw28 (Jul 5, 2014)

I am so sorry for the lose of your friendship. I would give her the letter and some space but don't give up on the friendship. She might just me having a really hard right now and will eventually come back around. I wish you the best of luck! I hope everything works out for you.


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## givinganonion (Sep 15, 2014)

Hi, I think @saraw28 had a good point.

It seems to me like your friend is going through some personal trouble and is trying to sort things out. It may be good to allow her some space, but also in simple ways to show how you support her and want to do what you can to be a good friend. If possible, I think you should ask if she has any particular trouble with you that you can work out together.


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## lonerroom (May 16, 2015)

kitsunegirl15 said:


> Basically I just lost my best friend of five years. We did so much together, have amazing memories, and shared everything. About a month ago she started talking to me less. I finally confronted her and she told me being around me was draining her. We both have had issues with depression. I'm just more open about mine. Then she also said neither one of us was benefiting from the friendship, but before she got more depressed recently she said being around me had taught her so much and I feel being around her has taught me a lot. She means so much to me. She also just found out her boyfriend likes another girl. First she said her being distant was because of that and that things would be back to normal between us once she recovered, then she turned around and said it had to do with me. I haven't been the best friend in the past, but I didn't think it was this bad. I wrote her a long letter apologizing for anything wrong I've done and I'll give her space after that. If that doesn't work, should I just give up on her?


I had more than a few friends do this to me. I am sorry your friend is doing this to you.


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

I lost my best friend too. I think it's completely normal and happens to everyone at some point. Very rare you keep that best friend your entire life (albeit it does happen).


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## oku (Dec 9, 2013)

dh94 said:


> How did you lose your best friend?


Not wanting to go into the details, he basically scammed a few hundreds dollars out of me.


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## indiscipline (May 24, 2015)

kitsunegirl15 said:


> she turned around and said it had to do with me. I haven't been the best friend in the past, but I didn't think it was this bad.


Well, I don't mean to sound crass but... what did you do?


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## lonerroom (May 16, 2015)

oku said:


> Not too long ago, I lost a close friend whom I hanged out with for almost a decade. I lost faith in friendship ever since.


Every friend I ever had abandoned me, but not before getting something from me. I have zero faith in friendship...
Friendship is impossible to find.


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## Jmerced17 (Jun 4, 2013)

I dont think you should give up on someone. I was friends with someone for 8 years, as the years past we became different people and we slowly drifted apart. Honestly it was because we both went through our own hard times but we stopped talking to each other about them. We became complainers but we didnt really talk the way we should have. The good times stopped rolling. Now we talk every now again but we're not really the best friends we used to be. I think the problem is that we lack patience, and arent willing to put forth a real effort. Friendships like that arent all that different from an intimate relationship. Sometimes it takes work to keep it going. You have to be honest with yourself and see if you're doing something wrong, and they must do the same. Talk about it. Lay everything out on the table and tell them exactly what you want. If it still doesnt work out, then theres no stopping it. Its not the end of the world , you've simply out grown each other.


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