# Hanging out with someone new tomorrow for the first time.I'm terrified.HELP.



## saara (Jun 7, 2010)

I'm supposed to be hanging out with someone new tomorrow for the first time. Just the two of us. I'm panicing so badly right now. 
I don't want another let down. I don't want another akward moment. I don't know what to do. I'm even contemplating just taking loads of benzos before meeting them.
I'm so scared I feel like I can't breathe.
Any advice would help.


----------



## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

The important thing is not to think about it and not to try to plan out what you will do. Doing so is what will give you this extreme stress. Just take it one moment at a time. Once you actually get into the situation, you will find that you can shuffle your way through the situation somehow, even though it might not be in a way that you consider to be all that great. We always think that we are going to be in a situation where we are 'on display' and have to have our 'routine' perfectly prepared and rehearsed, but in reality the situation is flexible and no one will expect any particular behaviour from you. Only think about what you are going to say when you are actually about to say it, no earlier.

I also panic before situations like this, so I know what it's like. But then when I realize that I really don't need to prepare myself, and I tell myself that I'm not going to think about it until the event actually gets here, I feel calmer and can handle the situation better.


----------



## P312 (Apr 17, 2010)

If youre hanging out with someone tomorrow is because that person likes your company. He/She may have other thing to do but choose to spend time with you. And it's OK to feel nervous. The other person may feel nervous too (maybe not that much bu still). If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't want to do it cause of the anxiety. I would try to find an excuse. But you have to do it! It would be good for you.

Hope this helps.


----------



## saara (Jun 7, 2010)

Thanks for your advice. I'm trying not to overthink it. I actually asked them to hang out with me. So...I don't really have a plan or anything as to what we're supposed to do. I want to find a fun activity or something where we can just laugh and be silly because that breaks tension. 

Maybe we could just walk around downtown and talk and get a drink..? I don't know. eeek.


----------



## YerBlues (Jun 17, 2010)

Ehh, I could tell you all kinds of positive thinking lines but I'd be nervous as hell, probably not be myself at all and awkward them to death by overthinking everything.

So my advice, don't be like me at all :yes

You mentioned benzos? Do you normally take them? If so I wouldn't know anything about that...

But as a person who doesn't take them but has a few if I really need/want to use them, I'm like a stand up comedian with one Klonopin. So if you aren't prone to habit-forming problems and abuse, have access to a benzo, and respond well... I wouldn't judge you for taking one before social interaction, but certainly don't even chance drinking on one.


----------



## fallingdownonmyface (Dec 3, 2006)

let us know how it goes ..good or bad 

have a good time


----------



## saara (Jun 7, 2010)

lol. They cancelled on me! All the worrying for nothing. Oh well. Whatever. So used to that happening. I had a good time alone. :b


----------



## bsmooth1 (Jun 22, 2010)

aww sorry to hear they cancelled on you that really blows. you were all worried and nervous for no reason at all. well at least if you decide to hang out with them again you wont be nervious. because you did all you worrying this time


----------



## saara (Jun 7, 2010)

LOL. Yeah, I guess so. :roll


----------



## DanCan (Jul 29, 2009)

Sara, I can definitely relate to how you felt. Whenever I used to go on dates or make plans there was a feeling of excitement, because maybe I would have a good time. But then theres a stronger feeling of dread that overshadows it. But then they cancel or I punk out and give them some lame excuse, and I suddenly feel like the biggest weight has been lifted off my shoulder! Is your experience anything like that? I've struggled against this crap my whole life, and was so sure that if I faced it long enough, and just kept putting myself in those situations that caused anxiety it would eventually get better. But a year ago I stopped trying. I've been on the squiggly path of prescription anti-depressants since, but haven't had any luck. So are you gonna try again to hang out with this person?


----------



## defoe (Jan 31, 2010)

the most important thing is not to put yourself under too much pressure

your main worry is probably that you come across too bored, and havent got anything to offer


----------



## saara (Jun 7, 2010)

No. I'm no longer going to try and make new friends or plans with people. I will only see them if they ask me, or initiate conversation first.
I'm so sick of people now, people not holding up their end and being hurt and let down. (I've been through a week from hell-can't you tell?) lol. Sorry for such a negative post. That's the truth though.


----------

