# Attached to my therapist...



## Catastrophizer (Aug 23, 2010)

...


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

You don't sound crazy. I could have written that post myself.

I'm addicted to my therapy/therapist. I upped it to twice a week.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

My copay is 30. But for some reason my insurance is covering all of it at the moment. That's why I'm taking advantage of it. :b

But, yeah, I'm spoiled and I know it. But, but.. therapy is so gosh darn fun! Also the most egotistical activity in the world... LOL.


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## Heatherchauvin (Mar 31, 2011)

*Thank you for being honest !*

Hey there,

I must say, from reading this one post from you, YOU are determined to change. Am I right?

How do I know this? Because you have taken all the responsibility on yourself and not your therapist. That is a HUGE step towards success.

You have stood up and said "Hello, I do not like my current situation, I know I self sabotage myself, I am seeking out help but I think I need something different."

Give yourself a pat on the back and breath.

Something I often try to do it breath, relax and visual my life without all the negative thoughts that wonder into my head. 
Have you ever tried this. Do you believe in the power of meditation?

Let me know what you think.

Thank you for sharing.


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## JGreenwood (Jan 28, 2011)

NoSocialButterfly said:


> I wish I could go more frequently. I'm jealous that you are able to go so often. My copay is $40, so I have to limit my visits.


$50.00 copay here. I go twice a month and in about 2 months I'm going to have to stop going completely.


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## Blacktea (Apr 13, 2011)

You're not a weirdo, I understand perfectly (but I'm not sure how normal I am, lol). But yeah, I knew I needed therapy, but I didn't realize how badly I needed it. It's like when you don't realize how tired you are until you lie down, and then this wave of exhaustion hits you. 

A couple of months ago, I started seeing this therapist that my sister has been seeing, and I really hope he can help me because he has helped her tremendously in just a few months. I see him once a week, and it rejuvenates me and gives me hope that my problems are treatable.  The problem is, every time I leave, I remember all these things I should have told him and totally forgot about. And then I think, "Come on, let it be my next appointment already." Also, sometimes I have this wave of anxiety hit me and I wish I could talk to him right then and there. :um

Hopefully, this will pass someday because I don't want to be like Bob Wiley from "What About Bob?":b


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## JGreenwood (Jan 28, 2011)

NoSocialButterfly said:


> Why will you have to stop going? Are you nervous about that? Right now, I go to the therapist every 2 weeks and to the psychiatrist once a month. But hopefully when psychiatrist decides what medication to keep me on, I'll only go every three months. I swear though, I need to see my therapist everyday.


I will have to stop going due to lack of funds. It does make me nervous but I made it 29 years without Therapy I can go a few months until my funds get back to respectable levels.


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## letitrock (Jan 10, 2009)

NoSocialButterfly said:


> I wish I could go more frequently. I'm jealous that you are able to go so often. My copay is $40, so I have to limit my visits.





Monroee said:


> My copay is 30. But for some reason my insurance is covering all of it at the moment. That's why I'm taking advantage of it. :b
> 
> But, yeah, I'm spoiled and I know it. But, but.. therapy is so gosh darn fun! Also the most egotistical activity in the world... LOL.


What is copay?? Is that how you pay for therapy? I thought therapy was much more expensive than that, like at least 60 bucks per session.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

Yeah, a copay is what your insurance "doesn't" cover. The full price is around 100$ like NoSocialButterfly's, but they make me 30$. That's the copay. It's different for everyone depending on your health insurance.


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## julianac13 (Jul 11, 2010)

It's called transference.. Google it! I'm going through the same thing...


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## Trek (Apr 12, 2010)

I know exactly what you mean about looking forward to your therapy appointments. I used to be like that. I kind of miss it, because now- I don't really have anything to look forward to.


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## Nuthatch (Apr 13, 2007)

I think it's totally understandable how attached you feel, NoSocialB. Actually, have you ever thought that maybe it's natural for you to feel so attached? I mean, not that you'd _want_ to, but given how lonely and isolated it can feel with SA... Is it really so surprising that you'd grow close to someone, who is not only insightful and understanding, but also whose job it is to listen to you? To me, that seems pretty healthy and indicative of your ability to form close relationships with people. So I think as long as you recognize what you're doing (and you do seem really aware) and know how to keep it from going too far, it really can't hurt and may even be helpful to your therapy.

I'm saying this because I was in a similar position a while back. I had a therapist for three years, and she was the first person in my life who I trusted enough to open up to. Not only did she help me through some of the roughest times in my life, but having that safe relationship also taught me how to trust others. Not saying that that's what you need to learn, but sometimes when we feel attachment to a therapist, it can mean we need it for some reason (or several). And the last thing we'd want to do is take a healing relationship away from ourselves.


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## LALoner (Dec 3, 2008)

letitrock said:


> What is copay?? Is that how you pay for therapy? I thought therapy was much more expensive than that, like at least 60 bucks per session.


Copay is money you have to pay yourself to prove you really need it. Its to screen out people who aren't serious.


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## LALoner (Dec 3, 2008)

I'm curious, could therapy even work if you didn't become attached to the therapist?


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## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

Are you attracted to him? This is why its better to stay with your same gender in most cases. He probably relaxes you with his voice and male prescence but this is not practical for you. you need someone to teach you how to find your values, focus on them, and to be thankful and disciplined and hopeful. 

I'm seeing a retired pastor's wife now..


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## Ambitious (Apr 17, 2011)

The reason why as well you become attached to your theripst is becoz you trust him/her. You lay all your cards on the table, the theripst picks them up deals them back to you. This process in on-going. You have built a relationship with you theripst. 

I have been in therapy 5 times (including currently). All but one theripst i became attached to. It was kinda like i needed them in my life. I need a theripst there so that i can go and vent about how im feeling and it is a safe place to do this. When my therapy came to an end, i was kinda devestated for the fact the weekly appointment has been taken away from me and the person who could understand how difficult life is was not in my life anymore.

But one thing is important to remember, as much as you trust and want to go there to talk, if there is nothing changing then you may have to re-evaluate your situation.

Talking is all good, but change is even better...


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## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

NoSocialButterfly said:


> No, I'm not attracted to him at all, it's not like that. I seriously doubt I could find another therapist male or female that would be as dedicated, knowledgable, and supportive as he is. He is a good person and is so easy for me to communicate with.
> 
> Yes, I trust him. And he understands me. But, at the same time, he calls me out when what I say is ridiculous and illogical. He remembers even small details which I know he wouldn't have included in his notes. Most of all he is genuinely interested in helping me and believes in me. I can't imagine not having him to turn to. He provides what no one else in my life can provide. And most importantly, I am making some progress. I faced a huge fear of mine, a college English class I had dropped out of and put off for years, and I made an A in the class. But, honestly, without him to encourage me and push me, I couldn't have made it through by myself.


That's a good relationship then, then he's like a parent. He would help you to recognize, respect and trust good poeple for the future.


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

Oh man. NSB, I know exactly what you are talking about...I went through this for years and didn't know what the hell it was. I have been seeing this therapist for almost 10 years. About 6 months ago, I couldn't take it anymore. I finally told my therapist what was going on, I wrote it all down. I even said that for a while I thought I was in love with her, I was so confused even though I never "wanted" her, if you know what I mean. (I'm straight). She's just so nice and understanding...I mean, I've seen her literally hundreds of times and she's never been in a bad mood and we've never had any ruptures. She validates everything I say and feel and it just feels like being wrapped up in a big blanket or something, lol. I came to realize that I don't want to spend my life always seeking her validation and unconditional acceptance, I can get that from other people as well. 

I told her I felt guilty and embarrassed for always thinking about her and secretly wanting to know more about her life, etc. I said I felt ashamed of googling her and wanting to know where she lived. She was so awesome about it and did not make me feel foolish or act like she was uncomfortable with it. While she did not indulge any of my curiosities, she said it was perfectly normal to want to know more about the therapist you're working with. Telling her everything made me calm down about this somewhat, but I still think about her all the time outside of our sessions. Since I can't be friends with her because of the therapeutic boundaries, I have forced myself to confide in friends more in order to fill that void, so to speak. 

Unfortunately, the only thing that will make it better is to talk about this with your therapist. If he is competent, he will deal with your concerns and feelings appropriately and professionally. 

I wrote about this in more detail in the Triumphs section...I'll PM you the link. hang in there


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