# Is there a name for this? I have no desire for friendship or conversation.



## MEKG (Apr 29, 2011)

I know I am naturally an introvert, but this feels different from that. 

I have found that I simply don't want friends. All through my life I have only ever had one or two close friends at a time and I think that was just to make me not feel completely anxious about what other people thought of me being alone. When people converse with me, I usually have nothing to say and don't want to add to the conversation, I just want to leave. It feels as though the social life part of my brain is just completely missing. 

In contrast to this though, I do feel as though I need a girlfriend. I can love and want to love. However I can see how not wanting any friends can be a huge hurdle in finding a girlfriend at all, let alone one who understands.

Is there a name for this? I'm a bit concerned about it and would feel better if there was a name for what I have and not just "different".


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## softshock11 (Jan 9, 2011)

antisocial or loner
which is what i get called allot


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## MEKG (Apr 29, 2011)

I'm talking medical terms


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## Frenger868 (Apr 11, 2011)

It coud be avoidant personality disorder; it's different than SAD in that the person has no desire to make social connections. Look it up though, there is other criteria that isn't quite the same as SAD. (Also, it _is _a personality disorder, so you woud probably have had to deal with this for the great majority of your life if it truly is; unlike SAD which you develop and can be easily rid of.)

Hope I helped. (Also, there are other personality disorders that include no desire for social connections, but there is other criteria involved. Avoidant p.d. is closest to SAD anyways.)


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## RetroDoll (Jun 25, 2011)

It is probably Avpd or anti social behaviors. apparently you're not 'supposed' to be like this according to everyone else, and if you are nobody 'will like you'


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## kev (Jan 28, 2005)

You're not antisocial (which would techinically implies meanness, manipulativeness, or criminal behavior). You may have a schizzoid or avoidant personality, you may have asperger's syndrome - or you may just be afraid of being hurt. I think those are the the most likely possibilities.


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## Marakunda (Jun 7, 2011)

I'm like that as well, I just don't feel the need....

I don't think there is a medical term for it.


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## jg43i9jghy0t4555 (Jul 31, 2011)

there should be a range of underlying causes for the same common symptoms, so it's easy to jump to conclusions, I've tried to look at why and that's, like, analyzing my behaviour and the real likely scenario in full, before + after each incident where i felt that way

I've also developed different coping strategies as a result, like i could have potentially blacklisted talking to anyone outside my comfort zone which would be bad/unfounded. I look for different things and associate things differently in women, like I noticed me and another person had completely different ideas of how attractive someone was recently, I didn't even notice her dress sense. (balanced thinking is a good idea, maybe)

but yeah: results of having a worldly view on life (non-nationalist and that sort of thing, existentialism) and not really being able to be satisfied with a social life because it isn't what I want to do with my life, just 'being happy'. I don't consider it living, but there you go. All walks of life are equally valid.


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## Kon (Oct 21, 2010)

MEKG said:


> I have found that I simply don't want friends. All through my life I have only ever had one or two close friends at a time and I think that was just to make me not feel completely anxious about what other people thought of me being alone.
> 
> ...In contrast to this though, I do feel as though I need a girlfriend. I can love and want to love. However I can see how not wanting any friends can be a huge hurdle in finding a girlfriend at all, let alone one who understands.
> 
> Is there a name for this? I'm a bit concerned about it and would feel better if there was a name for what I have and not just "different".


I'm not sure but I'm exactly the same. Even 1 close friend can be a chore, unless I could choose the times I want to see them. Maybe if I had nothing interesting to do, I'd probably need more time with a friend but this never occurs. I also agree about the girl part. Having a woman seems far more important than having a close friend because you kind get both in one with a girl (a close friend and an intimate partner).

Sometimes, I think, it's just extreme introversion? As long as you also get pleasure from doing other activities and you do experience emotions with other people, I think it's okay although others around you will think you're weird.


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## jg43i9jghy0t4555 (Jul 31, 2011)

Kon said:


> I'm not sure but I'm exactly the same. Even 1 close friend can be a chore, unless I could choose the times I want to see them. Maybe if I had nothing interesting to do, I'd probably need more time with a friend but this never occurs. I also agree about the girl part. Having a woman seems far more important than having a close friend because you kind get both in one with a girl (a close friend and an intimate partner).
> 
> Sometimes, I think, it's just extreme introversion? As long as you also get pleasure from doing other activities and you do experience emotions with other people, I think it's okay although others around you will think you're weird.


+1


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## guppy88 (Nov 12, 2010)

bad asses have this problem. Ever watched the film where a hero or anti hero walks away from the home with the babe? Have you ever seen Riddick, or any Clint Eastwood films?

You are probably a secret bad *** deep down inside.

On a serious note, no one should diagnose you over the internet. If you're worried about it you should see a doctor.


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## syrella (Aug 4, 2011)

I think it's probably just extreme introversion, possibly related to Schizoid Personality Disorder or Asperger's Symptom (perhaps more on the high functioning autism side). It really depends on what other symptoms you have. 

As is, you could probably just call yourself asocial and leave it at that. I sometimes tend towards that too and I went through a long period of self-denial, thinking that there was no way that I couldn't want lots of friends. Society tells me I need lots of people around me, so maybe it's true. Eventually, I just had to face up to the reality that I DO like my alone time. Sometimes I DO like to just be by myself. And sometimes friends can be a bother and take up too much effort. It was a long road in admitting that.

Yet, the same part of me also finds that I get lonely sometimes. So I know that I am not entirely asocial. Everyone's different though, so you really just gotta find your comfort zone.

Just make sure that you aren't just resigning yourself to being alone after a lifetime of hurt or rejection. If you truly are happier with no friends, then all the better for you. I envy you and your ability to be self-sufficient.


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## Akane (Jan 2, 2008)

Avoidant personality disorder still revolves around anxiety. It is based on fear of negative consequences or feelings from mistakes or rejection in social situations and sensitivity to negative evaluations. If you have no actual anxiety or fear of what people think and just truly don't want or feel the need to interact with people and have friends then it's not that. It's actually the main point that ruled out that diagnoses for me. My anxiety is pretty much gone and I couldn't care less who thinks what about me. My desire to be social still isn't there aside from a desire to have something to do and people create more things to do. That's where schizoid personalities become a possibility.



> Is there a name for this? I'm a bit concerned about it and would feel better if there was a name for what I have and not just "different".


Most of the time giving something an exact name isn't actually accurate. Most people are a little this, a little that, and so on to create their personality. Even the extreme or different parts of their personality. Most people don't actually fall under one disorder or another but are a range of all of them. If we tried hard enough we could diagnose all the people who appear completely normal with a mental disorder. I've been handed many different diagnoses over my life and in some cases they were probably accurate for a few years until my personality evolved some more. Trying to pigeon hole yourself in to a certain personality type or disorder can actually be far more harmful than just accepting that you aren't the same as the other people you've met. People tend to end up relying on their diagnoses and trying to match it or using it as an excuse rather than being themselves and accepting who they are.


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## PinkRoxy (Aug 5, 2011)

MEKG said:


> I know I am naturally an introvert, but this feels different from that.
> 
> I have found that I simply don't want friends. All through my life I have only ever had one or two close friends at a time and I think that was just to make me not feel completely anxious about what other people thought of me being alone. When people converse with me, I usually have nothing to say and don't want to add to the conversation, I just want to leave. It feels as though the social life part of my brain is just completely missing.
> 
> ...


I think its called a 'loner' which is not actually termed as a bad thing as it tends to be in high schools.

A loner is a real term and many people have it, its based on people who enjoy their own company and would prefer their own company to hanging out with people. 
They have a need to have their own space and to be alone to do things and having other people around can exhaust them or be uncomfortable.

I have loner tendencies only because alot of times I feel the way you do I love my own space I go to the movies alone to the beach alone and read a book in the sun and I go on walks alone, I actually like doing things on my own and I find it a drag sometimes to have someone else come with me. I love my own space and sometimes socialising can be exhausting work for me.

But saying that I also have a fear and anxious feeling to socialise which is why I think I have social anxiety aswell and bear in mind I have ADHD aswell.

But that is probably what you are is a 'loner' and please dont take that in a bad way because really it is not.


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## cyndy (Jul 28, 2009)

MEKG said:


> I know I am naturally an introvert, but this feels different from that.
> 
> I have found that I simply don't want friends. All through my life I have only ever had one or two close friends at a time and I think that was just to make me not feel completely anxious about what other people thought of me being alone. When people converse with me, I usually have nothing to say and don't want to add to the conversation, I just want to leave. It feels as though the social life part of my brain is just completely missing.
> 
> ...


i am this way as well. not always have been, but after being hit by a car at age 14, this behavior started. kinda makes me think i got brain damage in that "social life part of my brain". i have been diagnosed with sa but i think it may be deeper than that.

also, on the girlfriend subject. i do have a husband, but my behavior and avoidance pushes him away. we've been married 10 yrs. but i get worse as i get older and i fear i'll lose him. he gets so frustrated and doesn't understand AT ALL. normal people don't or can't understand and we can't expect them to.


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## nork123 (Oct 22, 2009)

I am like this to, the thing that people enjoy about social situations ie social intensity, projecting your thoughts and opinions etc. I don't enjoy, when I look at pictures of parties, social gatherings and things on facebook etc im not getting depressed thinking "I really wish I could do those things" because i don't like it, if anything I feel glad that I wasn't there
I do suffer from anxiety and stress that effects my ability to get and keep work which is the worst part, I am going to look into getting a job doing office cleaning or something, so then i can just work for a few hours a day on my own and just get on with it
I think I am naturally a loner and introvert, and I also don't think you have to necessarily have to have an anxiety disorder to be a loner because you also get the lone wolf type of loners that play by their own rules and like being a loner, I like those kinds of people and find them interesting and intriguing, I have a few uncles who are like that, and one in particular who likes to just fall off the radar for years at a time sometimes and no one can get hold of him and he is notoriously hard to track down and get a hold of lol


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## PinkRoxy (Aug 5, 2011)

I also believe that people with SAD tend to lean to the loner type bhaviour and enjoy it because to them its a sense of security its where they feel comfortable which is in their own company by themselves. 
Being around alot of people can be terrifying and exhausting that they need some alone time to refreshen and feel more sane again. 
I'm a pool lifeguard and I guess that is why it drives me insame sometimes and when I need some me time away from other people its usually when I get into a bad mood and feel irritated because I'm not coping with the busy atmosphere so I take myself for a walk with my ipod in my half and I love it its me time away from anyone else and I tend to feel a little better afterwards.


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## lissa530 (Oct 29, 2009)

> QUOTE=Frenger868;1059190624]It coud be avoidant personality disorder; it's different than SAD in that* the person has no desire to make social* *connections*. Look it up though, there is other criteria that isn't quite the same as SAD. (Also, it _is _a personality disorder, so you woud probably have had to deal with this for the great majority of your life if it truly is; unlike SAD which you develop and can be easily rid of.)


I've been told by two different psychiatrists that I have avoidant personality disorder. From what I understand about the disorder there is still a desire to form close relationships. I know that's indeed the case for me.


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## Godless1 (Aug 1, 2008)

MEKG said:


> I know I am naturally an introvert, but this feels different from that.
> 
> I have found that I simply don't want friends. All through my life I have only ever had one or two close friends at a time and I think that was just to make me not feel completely anxious about what other people thought of me being alone. When people converse with me, I usually have nothing to say and don't want to add to the conversation, I just want to leave. It feels as though the social life part of my brain is just completely missing.
> 
> ...


I totally could have written this post. Like you, I have struggled to classify my mental condition. My best guess is that it's either a combination of introversion and misanthropy or extreme denial and rationalization.


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