# older women, younger men



## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

So heres my little dillema, which isnt a huge one, but something that I need elaborating on. I recently met a guy whos a year younger then me, which isnt much, but I'm used to dating older guys, at least 4 years older, but no more then 10. Generally because they tend to have their act together and out of that adolescent phase of skirt chasing. Although lately, the so called more mature guys, have not been so after all. I dont know whether its me, but I dont want to be with someone whos 28-30 and still playing video games. 

Anyways, even though this guy is younger then me, we are very alike in a lot of ways, especially in our approach towards life. I think theres a certain naivete in him, that seems to be missing in older guys because they've gone through multiple relationships and just arent as excited about doing little things like going on road trips, walking together, making dinner together. Its almost like, they dont want to put that effort in the beggining, not knowing what may come out of it. But to me, that usually equates to total apathy. 

So I kinda like the fact that he's a bit less experienced and optimistic about trying and exploring new venues. 
I dont really have that much experience when it comes to dating either, so I thnk its going to be a learning process for both of us. 

I guess my question being, for women that dated younger men, did the age difference get in the way and how? same for men, would you prefer to date someone older, even if its by 1 year? 

thanks


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

My bf is four years younger than me, and most of the time I don't even think about it. The older you get, the less it matters, anyway. The important thing is that you guys click.


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

I was expecting a 45 year old cougar from this post.


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## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

thanks, I have still yet to grasp the concept of "clicking" with someone since I'm so socially awkward, but thank god, he's got the patience to deal with my quirks (and somehow I talked him into ice skating today..:clap)


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## merryk (Dec 25, 2008)

Sounds like you're having a good time getting to know one another, I don't see why age should be a factor in this. Be open to different experiences, such as dating a younger guy, and see people as individuals. Enjoy the journey


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## strugglingforhope (Jun 13, 2009)

Equisgurl said:


> but I dont want to be with someone whos 28-30 and still playing video games.


That to me sounds like a bit of a stereotype, you might be unfairly rejecting some really great guys based on a hobby of theirs, just sayin..


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## Tarkus2112 (Jul 17, 2010)

strugglingforhope said:


> That to me sounds like a bit of a stereotype, you might be unfairly rejecting some really great guys based on a hobby of theirs, just sayin..


I agree 100%. My last gf despised video games and told me up front that she didn't want anything to do with them or me to play them while she was around. At the end of the relationship we played Nintendo regularly and she even went and bought her own. It became something we did together that we both really enjoyed.

Out of curiosity, what exactly is so wrong about playing video games when you're older?

I'm 26 and I play video games regularly. It's an escape and a stress reliever. Believe it or not, I graduated high school, went to college, have a good career, live on my own, pay all my bills and not to brag but I'm fairly intelligent.

Would you turn me down solely based on my video game hobby? That's a hypothetical question of course.


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## sabueed (May 8, 2008)

Equisgurl said:


> Although lately, the so called more mature guys, have not been so after all. I dont know whether its me, but I dont want to be with someone whos 28-30 and still playing video games.


Most guys I know play videogames. Why do some girls out there still think to this day that videogames are for little kids. I am just curious, are you talking about being with a guy who plays video games when you are with him, or a guy who plays video games on his own spare time?


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## jlotz123 (Dec 11, 2009)

Tarkus2112 said:


> Out of curiosity, what exactly is so wrong about playing video games when you're older?
> 
> Would you turn me down solely based on my video game hobby? That's a hypothetical question of course.


I looked this up,


The average game player is 35 years old and has been playing games for 12 years.
The average age of the most frequent game purchaser is 39 years old.

If you had two guys, same age. One watches sports all day, one plays games all day. Guess who's consider the biggest loser? That's right, the one who plays games. So the one who's just sitting there watching the screen of guys running around a field, they're not even interacting with anything. Just a blank, excited, or pissed off stare.

The reality is, they're both watching pixels flicker across a screen. Only difference is that one is actually solving puzzles and figuring things out.

There was a time in the past where not even the dude bros would play games. Once they reach 14ish, they put it away and say it's childsplay. Now you're seeing 50 year olds play games. Only a few years ago it started to become mainstream, where all the college bros latched onto this new hobby. If you don't own a 360 and MW2, people look at you a bit strangely.


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## Tarkus2112 (Jul 17, 2010)

Equisgurl said:


> I guess my question being, for women that dated younger men, did the age difference get in the way and how? same for men, would you prefer to date someone older, even if its by 1 year?
> 
> thanks


To answer your question: I prefer to date woman who are older.

I met my last gf when she was 18 and I was 24. I figured what the hell, most guys would kill for that. At the time it seemed like it would work, but in the end it wasn't worth it. We were on completely different levels in maturity and intellect. I tried my hardest to be understanding but i just couldn't deal with it anymore.


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## xstrongandsilentx (Jul 17, 2010)

Word! I finished college, have a job, and play games, and am interested in older women! BAM!


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## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

Hah, it looks like I may have stepped on some toes around here, sorry for offending anyone. I dont mind if its an occasional hobby, but when it becomes a habitual thing and intervenes with normal relationship function, something needs to change.


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## sabueed (May 8, 2008)

Tarkus2112 said:


> To answer your question: I prefer to date woman who are older.
> 
> I met my last gf when she was 18 and I was 24. I figured what the hell, most guys would kill for that. At the time it seemed like it would work, but in the end it wasn't worth it. We were on completely different levels in maturity and intellect. I tried my hardest to be understanding but i just couldn't deal with it anymore.


How would they kill for that. Most relationships I know of deal with age difference like that, and girls like older guys anyways.


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## LALoner (Dec 3, 2008)

I thought this thread would be sexier.


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

Age is just a way to keep track. As long as it's legal, all that matters is the connection, whichever connection that is, physical, emotional, etc. It's all good.


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## toughcookie (Jul 21, 2010)

pita said:


> My bf is four years younger than me, and most of the time I don't even think about it. The older you get, the less it matters, anyway. The important thing is that you guys click.


Ditto situation for me!

It really bothered me at first but then I didn't care. Ive dated guys up to 7 years older than me and honestly, the older ones seemed less together and mature in my experience!


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## bobthebuilder (Jun 17, 2009)

Equisgurl said:


> Hah, it looks like I may have stepped on some toes around here, sorry for offending anyone. I dont mind if its an occasional hobby, but when it becomes a habitual thing and intervenes with normal relationship function, something needs to change.


fair enough, by why would you single out video games. Every hobby could be/become habitual and itervene with a normal relationship. watching sports was already mentioned, and i guess golf is a typical old guy sport, both of which could be obsessed over. Is there really a difference if one guy says i play video games 60hrs/week over one who says he spends 60hrs/week fishing?


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## googleamiable (Jun 5, 2009)

60 hours of anything would be pretty lol.

and personally speaking if a female disliked one of my hobbies i wouldnt care to know why, id say to myself, she can go **** herself


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## Daktoria (Sep 21, 2010)

Playing games shows a lack of ambition.

Also, games are an attention substitute for real people. That goes for both ur mate and society in general. Part of a successful relationship is having good connections in the community.

Even for introverts, gaming fries your brain from engaging in sophisticated intimacy with your partner. That's not really helpful.


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## confidencelost (Sep 3, 2010)

Daktoria said:


> Playing games shows a lack of ambition.
> 
> Also, games are an attention substitute for real people. That goes for both ur mate and society in general. Part of a successful relationship is having good connections in the community.
> 
> Even for introverts, gaming fries your brain from engaging in sophisticated intimacy with your partner. That's not really helpful.


Hold on a minute... your avatar is a character from Fire Emblem. I guess you have a lack of ambition and your brain must be pretty fried then? :con


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## Johnny_Genome (Nov 11, 2003)

I wouldn't consider a year to be relevant -- I mean we're talking a few hundred days difference at most.


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## Some Russian Guy (Mar 20, 2009)

those who play video games know more about history, math, science, technology and philosophy than you
and you only know about lady gaga and facebook


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

Equisgurl said:


> I dont know whether its me, but I dont want to be with someone whos 28-30 and still playing video games.


Oh, so you look down on guys who like to spend time playing video games huh?

Well maybe that guy looks down on girls who spend time posting on forums for socially anxious people?


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

The men here, oh the men...

I usually wind up with someone slightly younger than myself. It has never worked out (failure to commit/no desire for a relationship/wants to sleep with other people too/and one was simply wildly immature). I would seek out older men (I'm talking like 25, not a 50 year old sugar daddy or anything), but I'm 22 in a college town, so that'll just have to wait, I suppose.

But every time I swear I'll never become involved with a younger man again, then it's "Oh, this one's special, this one's so different from the others!"


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## daniel1989 (Feb 14, 2011)

Same age relationships ftw!


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## Daktoria (Sep 21, 2010)

confidencelost said:


> Hold on a minute... your avatar is a character from Fire Emblem. I guess you have a lack of ambition and your brain must be pretty fried then? :con


Unfortunately, yes. A lot of it comes from depression over performance, a "why bother" attitude from earlier sabotage and betrayal.

Politics rot the mind.


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## jagmusic (Oct 18, 2010)

Lol, this thread became a bash and defense of video games!


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

I really was only interested in this thread because of the video game comment but damn I was beaten to the finish line badly. for the support *brofist! seriously, it was a harmless comment though (poor tc)


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## Fortune (Apr 4, 2011)

Video gamers in their late 20s/30s generally means they're bums.
The average adult shouldn't have time for video games.


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

Fortune said:


> Video gamers in their late 20s/30s generally means they're bums.
> The average adult shouldn't have time for video games.


+1

My married brother buys the latest game all the time but doesn't actually have the time to play.

_I_ don't have the time to play, and I'm the least productive member of my family.


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## cafune (Jan 11, 2011)

Well, this post veered off topic really fast eh? 

Erm, never been in a relationship with a younger guy... that would be just strange 'cause I, myself, am not too old...


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## MindOverMood (Dec 12, 2009)

rednosereindeer said:


> +1
> 
> My married brother buys the latest game all the time but doesn't actually have the time to play.


So why does he throw his money away :blank


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

-1 terrible examples and bum projecting, you actually having time to sit down and play a video game every now and then instead of watching dateline or refreshing your fb account has little to do with being an average or productive adult.


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## Fortune (Apr 4, 2011)

Prodigal Son said:


> -1 terrible examples and bum projecting, you actually having time to sit down and play a video game every now and then instead of watching dateline or refreshing your fb account has little to do with being an average or productive adult.


late 20s/30s you shouldn't have time to play video games due to work and other commitments, even more so if you have a girlfriend/family. their isn't enough hours in the day.


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## lanzman (Jun 14, 2004)

I have trouble dating older women. But it's mostly due to the fact I'm about as relationship experienced as a 16 yr old boy.


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## pollster (Oct 4, 2009)

I know couples in their 30s and 40s who play video games together. Who cares? It's no different than watching TV, knitting, or whatever. It's a hobby. People place far too many stereotypes on that activity. One couple I know make a fair household income - they are certainly not bums.

As to the age thing... it's just a number. If you like someone, it shouldn't matter much. Especially not a year difference (that's barely anything).


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

pollster said:


> I know couples in their 30s and 40s who play video games together. Who cares? It's no different than watching TV, knitting, or whatever. It's a hobby. People place far too many stereotypes on that activity. One couple I know make a fair household income - they are certainly not bums.


Exactly, Pollster.
I know a few 40 year old guys who play Eve Online almost every night and they have a wife and kids. They usually play when their wife is on Fakebook or watching their shows and the kids are asleep.


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

Fortune said:


> Video gamers in their late 20s/30s generally means they're bums.
> The average adult shouldn't have time for video games.


I know you're just trolling, but what constitutes being an "average" adult? And how are games a less valid means to spend free time compared to other hobbies? Are you saying that a productive adult should have NO free time in their day?


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## Haiku McEwan (Jul 11, 2010)

Fortune said:


> late 20s/30s you shouldn't have time to play video games due to work and other commitments, even more so if you have a girlfriend/family. their isn't enough hours in the day.


Get off your high horse. I don't think there is an age when we all must become responsible adults and only care about work and the latest business news. Life is short; why can't we enjoy a video game every now and then? A life that only resolves around ''work and other commitments'' is an unlived life in my opinion. Things like video games give us some respite and fun in an otherwise tough dog eat dog world. And this whole idea of video games being only for kids is rubbish. Look at games like Broken Sword that require intelligence and problem solving. You learn more from playing a video game then you would staring at a brainless soap opera.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

I <3 older women.

Probably because I think, regardless of whether it may be true or not, they are more emotionally mature and have wisdom.

Also, I am turned off by "bubbliness" and that kind of pretend coyness that younger women seem to do a lot when trying to flirt. You know that "teeheeeheeehe" fake giggle girls do at your bad jokes, to let you know they're flirting? It's not "cute".


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