# Would your parents do anything for you?



## something there (Feb 24, 2014)

I've been wondering this about other people's parents. Personally, I don't think my parents would do anything for me. And by "do anything" I mostly mean love unconditionally, but also to actually take the moment and energy and strength to talk to their child when things are bad.

I think mine pretend not to notice my struggles. That they see I'm not right and they're either too scared to help or just choose not to notice in hopes it goes away on its own. If the **** really hits, I think the whole "family structure" thing would collapse. Feels like I'm constantly walking on eggshells when I'm around them.

Do you think your parents would do anything for you? Or do they sound more like mine?


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## Telliblah (Sep 19, 2015)

hard to tell


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Nope, my mom is pretty selfish. She always puts herself first, which I can't blame her I guess.


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## UsedToBe (Dec 7, 2015)

Nope, no way. Mine have never tried to understand where I'm coming from. I hate them.


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## Cletis (Oct 10, 2011)

They did a lot for me. I'm sure they were extremely disappointed in me. But they knew what I have. My dad had the same thing. We struggled with it in different ways.


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## Fight (Sep 12, 2015)

something there said:


> I've been wondering this about other people's parents. Personally, I don't think my parents would do anything for me. And by "do anything" I mostly mean love unconditionally, but also to actually take the moment and energy and strength to talk to their child when things are bad.
> 
> I think mine pretend not to notice my struggles. That they see I'm not right and they're either too scared to help or just choose not to notice in hopes it goes away on its own. If the **** really hits, I think the whole "family structure" thing would collapse. Feels like I'm constantly walking on eggshells when I'm around them.
> 
> Do you think your parents would do anything for you? Or do they sound more like mine?


I grew up and was loved unconditionally. My family is always supportive even now 24 years later. They even let me take a loan with their house as insurance so I could buy my first apartment. They always invite me over for dinner. I love them back though and our relationship is very good. We help eachother. I'm painting their house this summer and it just comes to me naturally doing that.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Not anything, but most things. They pretty coo


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## cnate (Dec 5, 2015)

My parents dont give a flying **** about me. I try to talk to my mother to get some help and support but as soon as shes gets home she gets wasted drunk, then she turns into a catatonic *****. I cut my dad out of my life because hes a childish **** who would rather **** hoes and sell drugs and live a glamour life then raise his son. Wheres that child support *****! You only ever paid it once, **** you! They didnt even care that I dropped out of school. I can do whatever I want as long as it doesnt affect my parents. I just ****ed up my life and all they did was chuckle. Sorry about the rant just pent up emotions and **** i need to get off my chest, lol ****


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## Constellations (Sep 23, 2013)

Ughhh, don't even get me started on them


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## DarkIce (Dec 11, 2015)

Nah, I don't think so...


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## Boby89 (Nov 28, 2015)

They would do anything for me, but only if they think it's the right thing. I mean as long as I do as they say they give me all support that they can give.
My mother even told me this a few times "let yourself in our hands for half an year and we will make a man out of you", oh gee thanks mom let me just throw away all my personality and character so you can mold me into your perfect son.


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## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

Financially or emotionally?F.ck no.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Xenagos (Mar 27, 2013)

Nope. I know for certain that my parents cannot love unconditionally. They're narcissistic, religious zealots. Who always pit my sister and I against each other. I'm just trying to save enough to move to Toronto or Ottawa.


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## Grog (Sep 13, 2013)

Mine already gave the biggest gift they could 
The gift of abandonment 
So I wouldn't ever have to worry about disappointing them and will never have the baggage that family impose and will not be burdened with dealing with them when they are old . 
Thank you .


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

my parents are kind of like me... we'll just watch unless we really have to do something. stoic. people are in charge of their own lives.

they were fairly bad parents in emotional areas, but they always fed and clothed me - even though the food and clothes were pretty ****ty. the one time i confronted them about my problems (as a teenager) they were resistant, but they did go with me to see a doctor, etc.

my mum got cancer and is supposedly going to die within 6 months. she was saying that she hopes we will support dad through things a bit further down the track, but i doubt that i will really contribute much to that...

in summary, i'm an adult, and i don't really expect anything of them.


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## Maverick34 (Feb 18, 2013)

My parents were born overseas (not USA). The love is there, but not in the American way you see on TV. I don't blame my Dad (RIP) or Mom. Different culture. Different traditions. I mean my Dad did buy me comics & magazines once a week & a baseball mitt, etc... but sitting down & saying "Hey son what's wrong?" did not happen. But he knew when I was sad & would try to cheer me up


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## BJam (May 6, 2014)

Well, they didn't give up on me after 30 (mostly bad) years, and I wouldn't have made it through those years without them.

At the same time, there were a few really rough periods of my life where I needed their help, and they knew about it, but chose to ignore it. I can't help but think that things might have turned out a little better for me if they tried to listen and understand me better. 

Would they do anything? Probably not. They try their best though.


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## RunningAwayfromreality (Sep 11, 2015)

my parents like to think that there is anything wrong with me. and that i don't need medicine or therapy because it will bring shame upon the family. i went into rehab and they told everyone i went to "stay with my aunt" i just wish they would accept me because i will never be like my sisters and brothers.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Probably not.


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## RandomGentleman (Aug 4, 2014)

My parents have never done anything for me outside of what they're legally obligated to do. I wouldn't be surprised if they secretly wish I'd just go off an die.


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

Its sad to see so many people had parents that wouldn't do anything for them. I know mine would do anything for me, and I them.


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## feckoff (May 2, 2014)

They'd give me money if I asked but I don't need it.

What I needed when I was younger was guidance and somebody to talk to and support me. They didn't give that to me. They were and still are oblivious to my issues. They honestly should not have become parents. They never had a clue what they were doing and were mostly disinterested. My mum cared more about the gym and diets and my dad about affairs.


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## Fellini (Jan 31, 2016)

My parents got divorced when I was 4, and ever since then they've done everything they possibly could for me and my sister. Our home was broken and it has caused a lot of issues down the road, but I still have two of the most amazing parents in the world.


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## Mr Fluff (Sep 16, 2014)

No, we've been estranged for years (my choice).

It's really freeing not hoping for anything from them, not even love.


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## SwtSurrender (Nov 24, 2014)

My mom doesn't give a **** about me. My dad gives way too many.


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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

I love my mom with all my heart despite some of her flaws. We all have them. Me and my dad on the other hand are complicated. I honestly don't know how to feel about him. A part of me hates him for how he has treated me in the past and that he has never even apologized, but another part of me is grateful he takes care of me financially.


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## nameless3903787489796 (Sep 6, 2013)

My parents might have provided me with food and shelter, but in terms of emotionally, they were never there for me. I'd constantly get emotionally abused by them all the time. Never once have they tried to understand me. All I received is judgements after judgements from them. They would constantly try to shame me for being different from others and for being so lagged behind in life as compared to others. 

Like I've been very stressed out by job hunting lately and I just want a little break at the moment, but my mom was there yelling at me to look at the newspaper again. She would nag and nag me every day without giving me a break. They don't treat me like a family, actually no, to be more precise, they don't treat me like a human actually, they treat me like a machine, they think I can go on and on without breaking down. 
To them, I'm nothing more than a money-making machine. 

They don't give a **** even if I were to die. My mental health has been in a very bad state lately so I decided to approach this samaritan services in my country and I've been chatting with them over email, they actually listened to my problems for free. Sad to say this, but even strangers cared more about me than my own family. 

I remembered when I was a child I would often dream of marriage and having my own family someday, but after having grown up in such a ****ed up family, I don't think I want a family anymore. If this is how a family is supposed to look like, then I'd rather not have a family.


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## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

My parents will listen to me, pray for me and offer silly advice -"well,make yourself a cup of coffee" - "try and calm down"- "try and relax". They will do nothing that requires any actual effort or real tangible help of any kind. They are miserly people,not only in terms of money,but affection,time etc. A year or so ago,I came horribly close to a nervous breakdown -they doled out the above ^ pointless comments over and over -then they'd say "I love you" -and get off the phone quick. I'm a firm believer that love is NOT what you say but what you DO.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Nope, I remember a few years ago when I was really low on money. I had gotten accepted into a 4 year university (transfer from junior college) and was about to get student financial aid and student loans the following month. I asked my dad to loan me $500 so I could pay my rent. He refused and then avoided my calls/texts for weeks. I don't have a history of borrowing money from him and not repaying it. Very nice of him.....

He stopped giving birthday/Christmas presents 20 years ago. I don't even get a phone call on my birthday, just a text message. 

He refused to teach me how to drive when I was a teenager because of some bull**** car insurance issues. 

While I was in college (the first stint at college), he kept threatening to cut me off financially. This led me to trying to take secretarial classes for 2 years which of course never led to a job. Big waste of time. Then when I left the country, he never asked me to come back to finish school. Didn't seem to care. Out of sight, out of mind.

He got sick recently and my stepmother will of course die before him since she's 17 years older. She can't take care of him when he does get sick now since her mind isn't what it used to be (early stages dementia). I can tell he is becoming more and more afraid of his health failing eventually. 

You can guess who won't be taking care of him in his old age.......I'll leave him to my sister. God only knows what will happen with that. She has just as much resentment as me. She got a lot more help financially while in college, so maybe she will be nicer. I think he can tell that if I were ever to care for him that I would mentally abuse him and tell him what a piece of crap parent he has been.


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## thetruthpreacher (Oct 13, 2016)

komorikun said:


> Nope, I remember a few years ago when I was really low on money. I had gotten accepted into a 4 year university (transfer from junior college) and was about to get student financial aid and student loans the following month. I asked my dad to loan me $500 so I could pay my rent. He refused and then avoided my calls/texts for weeks. I don't have a history of borrowing money from him and not repaying it. Very nice of him.....
> 
> He stopped giving birthday/Christmas presents 20 years ago. I don't even get a phone call on my birthday, just a text message.
> 
> ...


You seem immature for a 40 year old...


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

komorikun said:


> Nope, I remember a few years ago when I was really low on money. I had gotten accepted into a 4 year university (transfer from junior college) and was about to get student financial aid and student loans the following month. I asked my dad to loan me $500 so I could pay my rent. He refused and then avoided my calls/texts for weeks. I don't have a history of borrowing money from him and not repaying it. Very nice of him.....
> 
> He stopped giving birthday/Christmas presents 20 years ago. I don't even get a phone call on my birthday, just a text message.
> 
> ...


 I can't say I blame you at all. My mom reminds me of your dad in some ways. She's always been all about the money and really didn't want to be a parent. She hasn't been as openly hostile to me as your dad has to you. It's terrible how he has treated you. It's hard to believe that parents (of all people) are not held to higher standards.


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## AllTheSame (Mar 19, 2016)

SwtSurrender said:


> My mom doesn't give a **** about me. My dad gives way too many.


This. My mom is an addict that refuses to get help, and she was my abuser when I was little. I really don't know if she's capable of feeling empathy....sometimes she seems to, but most of the time nope. My dad has helped my sister and I so much, he would seriously do anything for either of us. I think he's really the reason I have my sanity....I can imagine if I'd grown up with my mom as my only parent.....there's no telling how things would have turned out. I moved out of my parents' house when I was 16, and the only reason was to get away from my mom. Dear God that woman is dysfunctional as hell.

I would do anything for my kids. Anything. I would literally jump in front of a moving train for them, they are my whole world, the whole reason I get up in the morning. It's hard for me to comprehend all three of them will actually be in high school not long from now.


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## bgb (Aug 22, 2015)

A follow-up question is if it's possible for a parent to be jealous of his/her child.
For example, I think that my mom is jealous of me for the education I get and the clothes I get to choose, etc. Do you think this kind of relationship exists, and do you think it's ridiculous?


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## Mlt18 (Jun 29, 2016)

Well my mother might. She supports me, even though she doesn't understand anxiety and my other problems, she tries to help me when I'm visibly sinking/struggling with something. I can pretty much count on her. My father cares but he's one of those people that puts himself first, not saying he's selfish because he did a lot for my family, but he won't bend over backwards for other people.


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## Mlt18 (Jun 29, 2016)

bgb said:


> A follow-up question is if it's possible for a parent to be jealous of his/her child.
> For example, I think that my mom is jealous of me for the education I get and the clothes I get to choose, etc. Do you think this kind of relationship exists, and do you think it's ridiculous?


I do think that exists. I think it's somewhat going on in my family, not with my mother but with my father. I find it a bit disturbing, tbh because it's petty and that's not what being a family is about imo.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

My parents are both long gone. My relationship with my Dad was complicated by the fact that he'd remarried but my Mum was wonderful and totally supportive. I think if I'd told her I'd just done something terrible she would have just said "Oh no Donny, that's no good - now here's some money you'd better go away for a while."  She was magnificent.

I'm the same with my son. It's unconditional.


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## Nyla (Oct 9, 2016)

Yes and I am forever thankful for them.


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

I think they probably would or at least try, but I don't think it's a good idea. People come from things from entirely different viewpoints and getting them to understand something pertinent usually leads to complications.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

Borderline neglectful when I was a kid/teenager, and super close/caring/supportive now I'm an adult. Funny how these things go. I guess it should really have been the other way around.

I'm financially independent from them and don't live with them any more but I go back and visit often. I still rely on them for advice, and we have a friendship too.


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## wiZZ (May 31, 2011)

Barely knew my mom when she was alive, but my dad? nope. Just yell at me and i'd feel like everything was my fault.


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## RedSailorMoon (Jan 19, 2011)

My parents might as well not have had ****ing kids
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AffinityWing (Aug 11, 2013)

My father probably would have, at least considering with how I've always been accused of being spoiled by him and being the apple of his eye. I don't know about now, I think I might have strained that relationship too. My mother's parenting style definitely does not touch on almost anything other than the basic necessities - shelter and just focusing on keeping us fed. She's completely unreliable for emotional support, knowing how harmfully criticizing and cruel she tends to be verbally.


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## doe deer (Oct 9, 2016)

i don't know, it's hard to tell. my dad once said he would die for me. but we rarely speak, i could spend a day with him and the communication would still come down to 2-3 sentences. and we argue a lot, i'm often very frustrated by him. my mom is cool, i see her as a friend but she has that one manipulative side that many women/moms have and i don't like it. i don't think they would support me unconditionally in whatever i do but i understand that because the feeling is mutual.


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