# were you or are you a victim of domestic violence?



## Lostsoul26 (Oct 24, 2008)

were you a victim of domestic violence and if so do you think it is the major cause of your SA?


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

Yep... hubby #2... divorced him, restraining order, put him in jail... more than once... he's in jail now doing 19 years.

No, contributing maybe - some - but not major cause.


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## TRENNER (Sep 21, 2009)

caflme said:


> Yep... hubby #2... divorced him, restraining order, put him in jail... more than once... he's in jail now doing 19 years.


The 19 years for attacking you? He really must have been brutal. Sorry you had to experience that.

I have never victimized or been a victim in a relationship. However, my parents have had a violent relationship, with many no-holds barred fights. It did make me more insecure.


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

TRENNER said:


> The 19 years for attacking you? He really must have been brutal.
> 
> I have never victimized or been a victim in a relationship. However, my parents have had a violent relationship, with many no-holds barred fights. It did make me more insecure.


No, not brutal... just drunken... after it happened the third time he was on probation and he kept getting drunk and violating it with stalking, breaking into my home, stupid stuff.... eventually they just sentenced him under the 3 strikes you're out law... though it was many more than 3 (I think they called it the Releasee Reoffender something-or-other). It was incredibly sad, alcoholism/addictions can really destroy lives.


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## VagueResemblance (Apr 17, 2010)

caflme said:


> It was incredibly sad, alcoholism/addictions can really destroy lives.


Yes, they can. I'm sorry you had to suffer that.

My answer: yes, from my mother, until I told her very firmly and politely that if she hits me again I will hit back.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

Can't say that I have been.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

yes, but hey I have no right to complain. I'm a woman who has had a relationship. 

No I'm not bitter.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

No


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## Lostsoul26 (Oct 24, 2008)

..


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

^I was molested by a father and a stepfather. There was mental, physical and verbal abuse as well.


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

bump


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## facade (Oct 1, 2009)

Yes, and not sure if it was the cause of SA. IMO I think certain things your are just geneticlly dispositioned for(not talking about the abuse)but Sa or depression etc.


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## Lostsoul26 (Oct 24, 2008)

facade said:


> Yes, and not sure if it was the cause of SA. IMO I think certain things your are just geneticlly dispositioned for(not talking about the abuse)but Sa or depression etc.


Yes i agree there is a genetic disposition which means we are highly sensitive to our environment. This explains why some kids cope better than others in an abusive environment.


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## jim_morrison (Aug 17, 2008)

Was; domestic violence by my ex-stepfather.


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

I think that abuse can cause SA but I also think that in some cases it just exacerbates it.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

^ that was the case for me.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

yes, my ex husband was abusive. but that had nothing to do with my social anxiety--i've had that since i was a kid.


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## kindasorta (Apr 20, 2009)

I guess the vote counts for the statistic but I have a hard time composing a reply because no, I'm not and I've never been.


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## Lostsoul26 (Oct 24, 2008)

bump


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## Skip_DJ (Jan 30, 2010)

I was abused in every sorta way imaginable in the course of my life: physical, verbal, emotional, sexual.....
Not a time I like to remember. I had a repeat of being beaten in my relationship I just quit on not long ago. But now I think I'm free from such.


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## low (Sep 27, 2009)

No. I did get smacked (as in *** spanked) as a kid though and shouted at a lot and a load of other mental ****.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Verbal, I guess. My mother was mentally ill - diagnosed with paranoid/delusional disorder and bipolar (unmedicated). I developed panic attacks art 13 - guaranteed two nights a week when I would not get to bed until 3am (at 13, mind you).


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## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

my dad had a bad temper, and he might have done something to my mom, but i never saw it. he would punch holes through walls and break windows and throw glasses, but he never laid a hand on his kids. i respect that he had this restraint because i know his father didn't.


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## trancediva88 (Aug 11, 2008)

_yea my ex was abusive.. took awhile to leave because i was scared but when he went to work one day, i packed everything i could in my car and left.. Not too long after that I moved out of NY..._


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