# I'm going to tell her how I feel, damnit.



## Daxter (Feb 4, 2009)

*STATUS: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
*
I will do it... When we're in the right place. Yes. I'll tell her I like her.

Honestly I am not expecting much out of it because it doesn't even seem like we're big friends anymore, but that's another topic. I just want to get it done with, even if it destroys the friendship. I've never told someone my feelings before (as in, directly to the love interest)... And I always felt bad I didn't, even if I could sense they were not interested in me.

I want to do it in person... Next week we're going out (destination unknown as of now)... but she's bringing along some friends. I don't mind doing it when her friends are along but only if I get some talking under 4 eyes... And preferably at the end of the trip because it might just feel awkward otherwise. Or perhaps it is better to tell it at her place, but then I need to get myself invited.

Must be done within 3 weeks, as of now, 5th of june.


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## slyfox (Nov 18, 2007)

Best of luck Daxter! Wish I could give you advice, but I'm terrible in this area


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## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

yeah!! do it! do it! yay


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## Shannon (May 22, 2009)

That takes a lot of courage especially for someone w/SA. It's great you are willing to put yourself out there...best of luck  Be sure to let us know how it goes


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

More power to ya'! Hope everything turns out well!


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## mrclean2401 (Aug 26, 2008)

Like they say, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. You have nothing to lose. Let her know how you feel. Even if it ends up that she doesn't feel the same way, if you hadn't been honest with her you'd be in the exact same spot! Go for it!


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## wxolue (Nov 26, 2008)

Don't ask her in front of her friends. Even if she likes you a lot, she might say no out of embarrassment. Some people would even feel betrayed if they were asked out in front of friends. Its more of a personal thing. Not something they necessarily want everyone to know or see.


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## Catching Fire (Apr 23, 2009)

Yeah I would try to ask her when your alone. If you can't seem to get her alone you could always ask her to talk for a second away from her friends. Good for you though no matter what happens! I wish I had that courage.


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## tigerlilly (Mar 30, 2009)

good luck! i hope this works out, be sure to let us know :]


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## Daxter (Feb 4, 2009)

I told her online. Before I got a chance to tell her in person like I planned to, she got a boyfriend.

I talked to her later on to ask her to help me with homework and she said that ''Things aren't like they used to be.'' She wanted to spend as much time with her bf. Me, I went a little crazy. She had already acted kind of like this before she got a boyfriend. I felt I was being avoided, even now she should realise that I should realise I can't be with her. 

It became a bit of a rant and I also let out that I have social anxiety and I love her. She interpreted it as me trying to ask her to be girlfriend or something, which just made things more chaotic. That wasn't what I was trying to do. I was trying to save the friendship, although I did go overboard in how I acted.

Later on I apologised and made things clear by email, and she responded nicely. We talk every now and then on IM. Honestly it's not a friendship in my eyes anymore. Despite my best efforts to be completely understood (I want to be friends and I don't have to see her every day, just every once in a while) it seems like she doesn't care about actually seeing me in person; either it's still not clear or I'm not an interesting enough person.

I was very hurt at first, from the moment she got a bf to all the borderline 'fighty' conversations. It's better now. Doesn't want to be real friends? Fine. Whatever - I've tried my best, seriously. I can't be bothered anymore. I just feel lonelier in the sense that I still don't have a partner and my friendslist seems to have decreased again.

But I can say this whole girl phase was a step further into beating social anxiety. I used to be too afraid to even say ''hi''. Then we became friends. It turned to crap all of a sudden, but still, it was a success until the breaking point.


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## Toad Licker (Nov 2, 2007)

Congrats on making an effort and not just sitting around wondering "What if", that's a very big step against your SA and you should be proud of it even if it didn't turn out the way you had hoped.


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## pokeherpro (Jun 17, 2009)

Do it with confidence or don't do it at all. You say you'll be happy just telling someone your feelings, but imagine how awesome you'll feel if she wants to give you a chance? Don't go in expecting to fail, expect to succeed.

Edit: didn't really read the part where you already told her. My bad.


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## slyfox (Nov 18, 2007)

Toad Licker is right. At least now you won't have to live with the regret of not knowing. You can say you gave it your best shot.



> It turned to crap all of a sudden, but still, it was a success until the breaking point.


It's still a success  You were able to confront some of your fears of women.


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## Daxter (Feb 4, 2009)

I happened to come across her today, just on the way to school for the exams. When I saw her from a distance I was like ''Goddamnit...'' because I was scared. I hadn't been so socially anxious... since... before I knew her. I said hi to her and her friends. They were studying a bit. I offered help and grabbed the paper they were holding. My hands and voice were shaking, and a few times I made squeeky voices. It seems like when I meet her _now_ I enter a different state of mind. I don't even notice her beauty anymore. I don't know what to say or do.

Anyway that short convo felt a little... awkward.

And yeah, this whole phase is worth to be proud of, I think. She was simply a distant crush at first. OK I was clearly anxious at first, something she noticed, but hey, we became friends anyway, if only for a couple of months.


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## 12345 (Feb 14, 2006)

I can relate to what you went through.You did well Daxter. You've grown as a person from this experience. Forget about her.


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## Pelicanbay (Jun 30, 2009)

edit lol..didnt realised you talked to her already


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