# I'm terrified of my parents dying



## Sabriella

Starting late last year, I've been terrified of my parents dying. I now avoid watching movies or reading books where people lose their parents because I want to stop thinking about it. But sometimes I just can't help it and I'll often start crying when I'm alone and can't stop. I still live with my dad and don't want to move out because I'm worried he'll be lonely. He doesn't have many friends, hates his job but can't find another one because he's getting older (61 this year) and often says that seeing me is the only good part of his day. I also like living at home, but I'm worried that the longer I stay the harder it will be for me to leave. Does anyone have a similar fear of their loved ones dying? How do you cope with it?


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## onefate

I sometimes have similar fears. I rely so much on my mother that I fear I might lose her. I try to cope with the feelings by saying to myself that she is an independent women and she knows how to take care of herself. If you make your dad happy and your happy to see him then I don't think you should leave just because of your fears. Don't let them control your life.


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## VISCOUNTBISCUIT

Hi there i felt sad for you,that you feel worried about this happening. I know this is a very difficult subject for people to deal with,but i would say try not dwell on this every day as i think this could make you unwell instead treasure every day with them,even the normal days treasure them.
Life in this day is very hard to deal with at times so don't put yourself under more strain of things that may happen in the future,take each day as it comes.

Take care


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## Sabriella

Thanks guys for responding, it really means a lot. Both of your posts made me feel a lot calmer, and I think I will just try and enjoy my time with my parents from now on.


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## DeeperUnderstanding

I'm scared of my mom dying, since she's the only one supporting me. And I've tried for disability before, and been denied (they said I don't have social anxiety, because I've held down jobs, even though I usually only work for 3 months and then leave because I can't take the anxiety.)


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## Just Lurking

Sabriella said:


> Does anyone have a similar fear of their loved ones dying? How do you cope with it?


Everyone worries about that sometimes. I wonder too, how I'd handle the grief that would come along with that.

I just remember that if the worst was to happen, I'd at least have other family who would be there for support. Plus there are organizations out there that I could go to for help... I figure I could reach out to other people who are going through the same thing (maybe make some real connections in doing so)... I could volunteer to help other people in the same situation...

That's the line of thinking that eases me, somewhat, whenever those thoughts run through my head... I think about what I'd do in the aftermath, what kind of support I'd have, what coping mechanisms there are, and what I would do to get through it.

(And in the meantime, make sure you show your appreciation for them!)


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## Ambivert

I'm also worried quite a bit about this. I often think about the future and all the regrets I will have and things I should have done/said to them so that I wouldn't be such a pathetic son in their eyes (even though they told me otherwise that they are proud of me).

It really freaks me out, because friends come and go but family is forever. I've met so many different people in my life but my family was always there. Ya its scary thinking I'll have to fend for myself and maybe raise my own family later on in life without my parents by my side giving advice.

That's why I'm thinking of slowly "weaning" myself off them by gaining independence through living away from home. The gears for this plan are already starting to move in motion.


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## Guitarstryker

I haven't necessarily thought about my parents dying, but in a matter of months, my dad's been diagnosed with early stages of Parkinsons and my mom hurt her back recently. I've definitely had to help them around the house more recently. Personally I'm wanting to find a way to start a career and move out. (A whole other problem I'm dealing with but I digress). I feel guilty sometimes for wanting this, but my parents had me a little later in life so they are getting further up in age than most people my age. I guess it's just another part of the quarter life crisis.


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## CeilingStarer

It's probably unhealthy, but I'm pretty neutral on my parents dying. They've never offered me any emotional support in my problems, and I've grown quite bitter towards them and their shallow views.

As bad as it sounds, I sometimes fantasise when my Dad's not around, so that I can avoid judgement, and the feeling that I'm disappointing him. I feel that I'll actually be able to live my life how I want... well, how I "can" with my problems.

Of course it would all be different if I was really close to my folks, and reliant on them for financial and emotional support.


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## caflme

My mom is already dead (1999) and the only thing I am scared of with my dad dying (he's 89) is the ridiculously stupid fight there will be over the estate. God help us all. I mean I'd like to have my equal share but if they are gonna be idiots about it ... screw em... I'll walk away. I expect it to rip my insane family further apart.


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## CandySays

My dad already died last year, and I'm only 19...be thankful he is still with you. If seeing you is the only good part of his day, an alternative to living with him forever is perhaps buying him a companion (puppy FTW?) to ease his troubled days. You could visit every day too or something. Try to allow yourself to be happy to have him in your life. It's too time-consuming to focus on the negative.


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## Half_A_Person

I am terrified of my parents dying too. They are all I have.They both have had fairly serious health issues as of late and although they are doing good right now, the thought of losing them keeps me up at night. I really wish I had some advice to give you but I'm in the same boat


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## Georgina 22

Yeah, I fear losing loved ones, specially my parents who I am close too and they are the most people I talk to in a day. I worry for them and I worry each time they have a birthday because it means they are getting older. I live at home, and the thought of being without my parents is....well the thought is soo unbearable I don't want to think about or describe it. I hope that when I do lose my parents I hope that I will hopefully be over my SA then or at least have a boyfriend/husband who can help me through and then I will not be alone. I say i'll be alone but I Ihave a sister, but we don't really talk or get along. She would be ok though, because she has a fiance. I don't think she'd understand much or help me much, she'd just say I need to get a life and move on. Then there is my extended family, they would probably help me through even if I don't really get along with them, because I don't talk much to them. Actually losing my parents would probably help me or force me to get on with my other family members including my sister because they would be all I have left.


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## shoey

Sabriella said:


> Starting late last year, I've been terrified of my parents dying. I now avoid watching movies or reading books where people lose their parents because I want to stop thinking about it. But sometimes I just can't help it and I'll often start crying when I'm alone and can't stop. I still live with my dad and don't want to move out because I'm worried he'll be lonely. He doesn't have many friends, hates his job but can't find another one because he's getting older (61 this year) and often says that seeing me is the only good part of his day. I also like living at home, but I'm worried that the longer I stay the harder it will be for me to leave. Does anyone have a similar fear of their loved ones dying? How do you cope with it?


You need to focus your mind on what it means to you to still have your father around. What's important to you and in the relationship that you have with your father? Focus your mind on doing things with your father that will create special, loving memories for you that you can hold dear to your heart when your father does pass over.


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## gaz

It terrifies me too. I still live at home at my age and i kind of feel i can't cope with life, i am really reliant on my parents for support even though i work. My parents both lost a parent in their early twenties and i don't know how the hell they coped. 

I know of a 19 year old guy i used to work with who lost both his parents to cancer within a short space and was living with his grnadparents since.


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## brokenlight

I have been really fixated on this lately. I am so sad at the thought of them someday being gone. It seems very strange that there will come a time when I will not be able to call them on the phone, or come over to visit. The thought is really depressing to me. I'm sorry you are feeling this way too. It sounds like you and your dad have a really close bond. I do too with my dad, and when we are watching a game or I see him working in his garden, I feel a lot of dread mixed with the happiness. I know I need to learn to look at this in a healthier way, so that I will be able to cope with their passing when it happens.


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## NoahCornell

*Terrified too*

I've been searching for a forum like this because in the past year or so, I've been utterly terrified of people dying around me - particularly my parents. I can probably trace this to my moving out on my own, trying to live independently. I mainly want them around to provide me with advice on my own life - I so admire how they've both led their lives. The problem is, I am no where close to being independent and having a stable life of my own. Out of my entire family, I seem to be the only one living away from my hometown, and this terrifies me from time to time (at least once a day), the utter loneliness I feel at times. And I feel stupid, but I can't help it. Sometimes, the only things that keep me going are the occasional trips back home to visit my family - they help revive me. But I feel bad about constantly running back to my parents when I shouldn't be using them as a crutch. These feelings of death and loneliness consume me at times, and it makes it hard to interact with the people around me or to see good in anything.

If anyone has any more advice, I'd greatly appreciate it. I'm a fairly educated person, and I know most of my thoughts are irrational, but I cannot fight them off. I know I will be an utter wreck when my parents die. I don't even think I could make it through the ceremony or even attend.


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## TheCanadian1

You know this has occurred to me recently...

I always have my sister, but when my parents go I have no idea how I'll be able to cope with the loss. They're people I can discuss anything with, and I don't have regular friends like that. 

My dog died a year and half ago and it feels like it was just yesterday... Remembering it brings tear to my eyes... even just thinking about her.

When my parents go, man... I don't know what I will do. It terrifies me as well.


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## MindOverMood

Well I know if my mother died now, I'd be screwed. She'll be turning 68 this December and she's still working as a secretary at an elementary school and she wants to work until you have to retire(which is 70). My dad is pretty much bed bound(he's 68 with rheumatoid arthritis), so my mother or I usually make his meals. But like my sister says, she thinks it is pretty selfish to have children at 42(when my sis was born) and 46(I was born) :blank


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## cinammon

MindOverMood said:


> Well I know if my mother died now, I'd be screwed. She'll be turning 68 this December and she's still working as a secretary at an elementary school and she wants to work until you have to retire(which is 70). My dad is pretty much bed bound(he's 68 with rheumatoid arthritis), so my mother or I usually make his meals. But like my sister says, she thinks it is pretty selfish to have children at 42(when my sis was born) and 46(I was born) :blank


Even though your mother had children at an older age, at least she had more than one child so you and your sister will be a support system for one another. It makes a difference when you have a sibling to share things with and talk to within the family.


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## waytoblue

All of the time. I can't even contemplate life without them.


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## cinammon

Sabriella said:


> Starting late last year, I've been terrified of my parents dying. I now avoid watching movies or reading books where people lose their parents because I want to stop thinking about it. But sometimes I just can't help it and I'll often start crying when I'm alone and can't stop. I still live with my dad and don't want to move out because I'm worried he'll be lonely. He doesn't have many friends, hates his job but can't find another one because he's getting older (61 this year) and often says that seeing me is the only good part of his day. I also like living at home, but I'm worried that the longer I stay the harder it will be for me to leave. Does anyone have a similar fear of their loved ones dying? How do you cope with it?


When I was your age, I did have a fear of my parents dying. 22 years later, my mother passed in 2007 and I live with my father now, It is hard to cope with for sure. It is much easier when you have a spouse and children or a support system of friends and family so that when a parent does pass, you have people you can depend on to help you cope. I still have a fear of my father passing but I will have to cope with it when it happens. Looking back on my life if I had to make the same decisions again, I would make more of an effort to get married and have children because if a parent passes, at least I would have a husband and children to depend on and to share the grief with and more of a support system to help me through getting through the loss of a loved one. When my mother passed I did have friends and family around me to help me cope but when my mother's mother passed, she had me, my father and friends to help her through so it was much easier for her and when my father's mother passed (after my mother passed) he had me and his friends to help him through but both of my parents have alot of friends so they have enough of a support system to make it. The hardest thing about SA is that it can prevent some of us from being able to make friends and forming that support group so I would say that the earlier we all start making friends in life and forming that support group, the easier it will be when one of our loved ones passes because you will have friends to depend on.


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## Ameles

I've experienced these fears and emotions in the past, particularly if I'm feeling especially lonely or depressed about certain issues. During these moods you may think of what matters to you most and fear the worst; the potential loss of what is dear to you.

Perhaps you can explore these feelings when they come and try hard not to succumb to the intensity of the emotion. What is it you fear most about the thought of losing your parents? The loss of love, loss of what is familiar, a sense of being alone in the world? Perhaps if you explore it more fully you can begin building up the 'self-reliance' and strength you may require one day.

Perhaps you could even speak to loved ones or friends about people they've lost who were dear to them and how they felt, or how they coped.


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## pita

Me too.


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## james25

I don't think I'd care THAT much. They're lovely people and all, but I barely ever talk to them, and when I do, I wish I wasn't. :sus


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## paramagnetic

I am really happy I have found a community who understands this fear. It is probably what brings me the most fear and sadness. It scares me because I can't control time either. They're going to have die. We all are. And I'm going have to become an adult. I'm a freshman in college, and I've never felt worse. I'm the only child and I have always had this fear. I can remember crying as a child to my mom begging her not to die. I think about them growing old and me being the only one available to support them. They love me so much. This whole concept of them not ever being there is so overwhelming to me. I think about it late at night, early in the morning, and it is always in the back of my mind. I stress about how poorly I treat them and how I'm a really awful, failure of a child to them. It all makes me so sad. I have nightmares about seeing my mom really old without any teeth, and that scares me so much because I rely on both my parents so much. I can't bare to see them in that state of life. I just hate this. I wish my feelings could go away.


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## NoName99

This is terrifying. I try my best not to think about it, but the truth is, when it happens, I fear the worst for myself. I'm also extremely afraid of them becoming ill or frail, and having to rely on me to take care of them. I can't even take care of myself. *Ugh, quick, think happy thoughts, happy thoughts!* :afr


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## jimity

I far more worried about having to organize the funeral and then go to the funeral surrounded by people and possibly that sobering up feeling taking over and then I begin to break down.


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## max87

Me too. 
My father is also getting old. He is 68.
He is always talking about it and it terrifies me.


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## jimity

NoName99 said:


> This is terrifying. I try my best not to think about it, but the truth is, when it happens, I fear the worst for myself. I'm also extremely afraid of them becoming ill or frail, and having to rely on me to take care of them. I can't even take care of myself. *Ugh, quick, think happy thoughts, happy thoughts!* :afr


My mother has to look after her father because he is a diabetic and had his legs cut off because of it. My father can't wait till he dies and always says "one bullet will solve the problem".


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## Darthbane2007

I think that every generation would feel the same way..


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## Freiheit

It scares me. I'll be completely alone when it happens.


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## timaahhh

Wow, I am in tears just reading some of the messages on this thread.

This issue is really affecting me at the moment, I just can't stop thinking about it and I know I will be in pieces when the inevitable happens. This has only started in the last couple of days and is really really scary and saddening. I hope this eventually makes me appreciate them more and the time we have left together.


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## fire mage64

I think one way to cope is to become independent. I feel a if I would be lost and confused in the world if my parents were to die because they help me out SO much.


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## radiancia

Yes! This was where I first noticed my anxiety starting around junior high, and it remains my biggest anxiety worry that really paralyzes me to the core. At first I was petrified about them getting into car accidents. And I would flip the heck out if they were late getting home, sometimes I'd be shaking Id be so scared something bad had happened. And then after that, it became all about health worries which plague me to this day. If they tell me about an ailment or something, I go into panic mode thinking about all the horrific things that can happen starting with an innocuous symptom, and not helping is the fact that there have been a few actual scares which knocked me completely off my feet - I couldnt function at normal life until everything was okay again and I was crying ALL the time I was so scared. Depending on the triggers around me, sometimes Im more worried than other times but point is, I can definitely relate.


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## sickofshyness

I know it is hard-because it will happen someday. However, instead of worrying try to enjoy them while you have them. My mom was my very best friend and I miss her, but I also know I spent quality time and appreciated her while she was here.


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## MindOverMood

cinammon said:


> Even though your mother had children at an older age, at least she had more than one child so you and your sister will be a support system for one another. It makes a difference when you have a sibling to share things with and talk to within the family.


Well she had 8 in all But 5-6 children should of been enough:blank


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## marimari

timaahhh said:


> Wow, I am in tears just reading some of the messages on this thread.
> 
> This issue is really affecting me at the moment, I just can't stop thinking about it and I know I will be in pieces when the inevitable happens. This has only started in the last couple of days and is really really scary and saddening. I hope this eventually makes me appreciate them more and the time we have left together.


:blank i feel just the same way i want so much just to never be mean or angry at them again and just try to spend as much time as a can and i promis my self that but the next day i get into a stupid fight over nothing, im 19 years old and my parents are almost 60 they are to good to me really and i just want so badly to give everything back with love and show them love but im not like that i cant do that i dont know why,, dear god please help me to loose this fear and just enjoy and never be mad to my parents again


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## enfield

I am surprised so many people share these feelings! I feel like it has to do with our dependence on our parents.

For me, my Mom is 59 and I think about her death so much. I don't want to be around when she is frail. Parts of me want go somewhere else and never talk to her again (but hopefully end on as best a note as possible). 

If only she was happier than I wouldn't feel so bad. But like others have described their parent's lives, my mom works, comes home, watches T.V, and goes to bed. Although she does have some friends, there is a sense of emptiness that even she is aware of, which is the painful part for me to see.

And I'm not sure what I can do about it. The one thing that I am focused on is learning lots of biology, so I can contribute to the human life-extension movement (either through advocacy or research). Humans shouldn't have to die. I hope one day a time will come when humans look back and are mortified that such a terrible thing as death even existed.


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## Dr Hobo Scratch MD

Sabriella said:


> Starting late last year, I've been terrified of my parents dying. I now avoid watching movies or reading books where people lose their parents because I want to stop thinking about it. But sometimes I just can't help it and I'll often start crying when I'm alone and can't stop. I still live with my dad and don't want to move out because I'm worried he'll be lonely. He doesn't have many friends, hates his job but can't find another one because he's getting older (61 this year) and often says that seeing me is the only good part of his day. I also like living at home, but I'm worried that the longer I stay the harder it will be for me to leave. Does anyone have a similar fear of their loved ones dying? How do you cope with it?


i been thinking about that alot lately. i already lost my dad but i never had a relationship with him so that dosent matter. but thats what really messed me up in the first place his death.but i often think about my mom dying. the good about that it makes you realize time is flying by and if things are in your favor you need to do the best you can to take advantage of it. the bad is were will i be? iam not even done with school yet. iam just starting to learn how to function in day to day life again. i just want to hurry up and become completely independent so i can take care of myself if something should happen. emotionally i can say i will be prepared this time. i dont think its possible except a coma for me to be any more f**ked up than i was.


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## crispycritter

I have this fear too. For me I think it is because I haven't had very many serious talks with my parents at all. There is so much that I would miss if they were gone and regret not doing with them. What helps me is spending time with them and making a conscious effort to respect them. I wasn't good at that when I was younger... Sometimes I feel guilty about that.

Also, I made sure my parents took a cpr class with me when i had to do it for school, lol. it was a fun experience. That way if one of them starts to die or something the other at least knows what to do.


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## Knowbody

become detached before its too late and you're miserable for the rest of your life


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## Josh O

Well my father passed when I was 9 from a motorcycle accident, he was only 45. I was kind of in shock till years after, and then some other traumas in my life threw the depression and SAD into overdrive.. I've gotten over the depression for the most part. I don't think I could handle losing my mom too. She is 53 right now, her only health issue is COPD. However after 40 years of smoking I can't help but feel it could be something much worse.


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## Deviantg

WintersTale said:


> I'm scared of my mom dying, since she's the only one supporting me. And I've tried for disability before, and been denied (they said I don't have social anxiety, because I've held down jobs, even though I usually only work for 3 months and then leave because I can't take the anxiety.)


I'm in the same boat. My pops supports me and he is getting up theere in age.:blank


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## komorikun

The saddest thing is I can barely remember what my mom was like or conversations we had before she became ill. My little sister was only 6 years old (I was 12) when she became ill and only remembers the sick version of her. She was kind of a quiet person, so maybe that's why. I really envy people who got to know their parents as adults.


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## timetravelsintime

I am quite young, but i fear of my parents' death too... But, dont be so scared about this, as everybody says, people DO really die some day. But relax, unless your dad lives an unhealthy life, he will live very longer (he is just 61, not really old. newly entering third age). And about the lonely stuff... I do agree with you. I wouldnt know what to do, but you know, you should encourage him to resign and try to find something else he could enjoy doing. He could also try to retire too, so he can spend more time doing what he really enjoys (travel abroad, meeting new people, etc) and you would be allowed to live your own life, then. 
Dont think he would dislike you if you stopped living with him. He created you for life and he did know that some day you would live by your own.


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## velvetrose

I worry about this constantly. I have suffered with CFS and fibro myalgia since I was 18. My parents were my only support in a long list of friends and family that did not believe I was sick. My parents are my best friends and right now my only friends. I did eventually leave home for a short period of time to try and get my life back but then my mum became very sick and ended up in a coma on life support. They told us she was dying. After 4 1/2 days she suddenly woke up and even though the road has been a long one she is still alive and although not able to do as much as she used to still here with us thank god.
I moved home to help with caring for mum and ended up staying here as I was just so alone and I hate to be on my own. I've had many failed relationships due in part to being sick all the time. Now I'm also struggling with Depression and Severe anxiety. I can't seem to get anything that helps me and to top this off my parents are now 78 and my dad has just been diagnosed with a heart problem.
My days consist of a constant fear of losing them. I'm trying to just enjoy the time I have left with them and not worry about the future. But thinking that and actually doing it are 2 different things.
I feel like I'm living a constant panic attack and struggling to keep going. If I lose my parents then I will be completely alone and I don't know how I will cope with that.


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## ravens

My father is 66 and had a heart attack and a stroke over 3 months ago. My mother is 61 and has COPD and is on oxygen 24 hours a day. I'm living with them and helping take care of them. If something happens to them I would have to sell the house and move in with my brother and his wife.


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## MickeyGirl425

*I know how you feel...*



brokenlight said:


> I have been really fixated on this lately. I am so sad at the thought of them someday being gone. It seems very strange that there will come a time when I will not be able to call them on the phone, or come over to visit. The thought is really depressing to me. I'm sorry you are feeling this way too. It sounds like you and your dad have a really close bond. I do too with my dad, and when we are watching a game or I see him working in his garden, I feel a lot of dread mixed with the happiness. I know I need to learn to look at this in a healthier way, so that I will be able to cope with their passing when it happens.


__________

This is exactly how I feel. Sometimes I start getting terrified and sad that, as you said, I won't be able to call them...they aren't just at the grocery store, they aren't just at home watching TV like when I was a kid. They're gone. It scares me and upsets me so much.


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## susiekat

I can't express how comforting it is to read these posts, knowing I'm not alone in this daily fear. It really started about a month ago for me. My parents are nearing 60, and I just turned 30, so I think my worries may also be exaggerated because 30 is a scary new age to be forced into by time.  ha.

I am so close with my mum, she's my best friend. I tell her everything, and her advice and time spent with her is like gold to me. I love my dad very much, but he made a lot of mistakes and bad choices, mainly with alcohol when I was growing up, so it has always been tough to have a close father-daughter relationship with him. But the idea of losing him is still terrifying. 

For some reason, over the last few weeks, it has really started hitting me that I could lose one or both of them. I know that doesn't sound right because they're not even 60 yet, but you never know when something could happen. I just have no clue how I would handle that, I can't describe the pain when I lose a beloved pet. What would I do if I didn't have mum anymore!? Blah! This is making me tear up. The awful thought just keeps slipping in my mind now. If I accomplish something great, or even if I have a good night's sleep and wake up feeling amazing, I let it take over. It's like I'm punishing myself for feeling happy. My mind won't let me forget about the awful reality that I will lose my parents one day, not ever for a second. Even if I've had a good day and I lay down for sleep, the last thought of the day is about this, which destroys the good day I had.

I don't understand why this just started getting so tough a few weeks ago, it was out of the blue. I've always loved them and of course I didn't want them to die, but now it's multiplied so much that it's taking away the positive moments of my life. I'm so scared of losing them that it's making me lose the happiness I do have left, which is such a fragile thing as it is.


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## LittlestV

I'm so glad it's not just me who is absolutely terrified of losing my parents. It's only recently become a huge issue for me and every time I even just think about my parents (especially my mother) I just want to burst into tears. I don't live in the same town as them anymore and I'm scared that the stress they've had to deal with over the last few months will make them ill, and because I can't be there to help I worry they won't cope. 

Even when my mother gets something as tiny as a cold I worry that she's becoming more frail and vulnerable by the day. They're both only 60 but I still worry that they're getting old really fast, even though I know that they're perfectly healthy and there's nothing to worry about. 

I know this thread is quite old but I have no one else to explain this to who will understand.


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## FairleighCalm

This thought used to scare me as well. As I've learned that I have to live my life, imperfectly as that may be, it is my life and not their's. I've purposely acknowledged being "too close" to my Mom and looked for support and friends outside of my family. I feel like that was a choice to mature and grow. Focus on yourself and your life and you will be okay.


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## writergirl86

It's so funny I came across this forum. This past couple of weeks have been significantly sadder for me because of these same reasons. I also fear the death of my mom and I am sad about that a lot lately. I almost cried in the middle of.a work meeting because of it. Hell I'm almost crying now. I think it has to do with age first off - my mom is 62, I'm 26. I'm looking at 30 just around the corner. My mom hasn't had an easy life and I was just hit with a realization that my mom might be losing her fight to find a better spot in life for herself. I fear her complacency to just accept her difficult time. She also has a bad job that makes her unhappy and she has told me a lot that she fears this is it for her.

I know I can't force her life to be happy so I am trying to enjoy our time together as much as I can.*

I think some of my sadness has to do with my brother who attempted suicide four times the last six months (he has battled schizophrenia for ten years). This started when I was 15 and being close to death like this has been part of my life. That sure as hell hasn't helped me, or my mom.

I wonder though...are any of us really religious? Can you become religious? I ask because I think if I had a stronger belief in the afterlife I wouldn't be so sad.*


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## bestgal

I have been like this for years. I used to panic when my mum was late picking me up from school. I feel like I am worse with age though as my parents are getting older now and I worry that I will lose them soon. Or sometimes if they go out and I think what if they don't come back. I'm glad I am not the only one feeling like this.


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## KaoJ

I have the same fear. My neighbours lost both of their parents in cancer in a time of 3 years. And they were only in their late 40s.


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## TigerB

Me too but it has nothing to do with relying on eachother because we don't need eachother except emotionally. As cheesy as it may sound it's the love I have for them that makes me scared of their health one day deteriorating.


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## HarpoM

Words cannot express how I've been going through this fear of my parent's dying. I've had anxiety over this for more then 20 years. It has debilitated my life in such an extent. I took up smoking so that I would not have to live that long after their death. I've been seeing psychiatrists for more then 15 years, and it is still hard to fathom the loss of either my mother or father. 
After a wide variety of medications and counselling sessions, I'm afraid I'm just going to have to go through this and hope for a better day in the future.


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## pink28

I have this fear as well. I moved away and for awhile I was worried that I would get a phone call about something bad... I still worry actually. I know it is out of my control but it feels like it almost is for some reason.


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## inerameia

I have the same fear too except I worry more about my grandma because she raised me so it's kinda like she's my mother in a way. She's 66. I worry how much longer she has sometimes. My mother is still fairly young in comparison. She's turning 40 this year. But she has severe mental illness and has to take a lot of medication so I don't know if that has any affect on life span. I feel like I don't really know her even though she visits every weekend. I fear losing her too.


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## iLUVMYHOODIE

it scares the hell outta me too I love my mom


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## harikiri

Well, I'm 51 and my Mum is 81. We're very close and I've grown to appreciate her even more over the last few years. Lately I've been scared to lose her. She's in better shape than me mentally, and physically she's pretty healthy too, having looked after herself. 

Close friends' parents are starting to die, and that reminds me of my Mum's mortality. I know I will be absolutely devastated, but my main concern would be to make sure she has a 'good' death, as she deserves. If she winds up in hospital, I want to be there when she passes away. Not to have been by her side would make her passing even more distressing. 

I do wonder how much care she will need when her health does start to fail and whether I will be able to step up to the plate and do whatever's necessary. And I hope to God she will pass peacefully in her sleep and not in any pain. She's been through so much in her life and been fantastically loyal and loving through it all.

Part of her is already ready to go, she does not fight against the idea of death as my father did. I asked her to look down on us and be our guardian angel when she's safely in heaven. But as she's already spent a lifetime worrying about us, that was really quite selfish of me. May she just eternally be at peace.


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## Starless Sneetch

I have the same fear. There is no reason why I should be worrying about this now, since both of my parents are relatively healthy, but I just get incredibly sad when I even think about it. I don't know what I would do without them. Like you, I try to avoid movies that deal with this subject.

I talked to my therapist about this, and when she was talking to me, I had to really control myself to keep from crying. 

I try to cope with this fear by reminding myself that if I go on wasting the time I have with them worrying, that I won't remember all the wonderful times we have together. I will only remember worry and fear. And I just try not to think about it.


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## Randomdood13

Does anybody else hope they die themselves ahead of their parents so they don't have to suffer losing them? I know I do. Especially as my dad has a terminal illness and is slowly deteriorating.


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## HarpoM

I sometimes think about that, but it would hurt my parents and my brother and sister too much for me to go through with that.


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## Richieboo

I'm terrified of losing my mum! She's 63 now and I'm 32. I remember her turning 50 and 60 and time seems to be moving too fast. I still live with her and I'm in a job that doesn't pay enough for me to support myself. I don't know what to do to get a better one, I wasted too much of my life messing about and now I'm paying for it. My dad lives in Thailand and all I have is my sister but she has her own life and her daughter to bring up. She couldn't support me, I need to support myself and I'm conscious of time running out. I don't really have any friends either at the moment since moving area 4 years ago. I can't believe its been 4 years already. If my mum died anytime soon I'd have a breakdown and probably end up in hospital. She's my best friend, my rock, and I couldn't cope without her. And at my age that's ridiculous.


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## dal user

My dad died when I was 12, all I have left is my mum and my brother, he has his own family though. I think if anything happened to either of them I'd probably end up killing myself because I have nobody else.


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## Naomimars

It's 2:49am and I've stumbled across this forum after not being able to sleep through thoughts of my parents dying. Ive had this worry since being very young and it still hurts me as deeply as it did as a child. My mum is my mountain, she has carried me through life and has been my pillar of support for 23 years. I was diagnosed with Obsessive thoughts and anxiety at age 11 and since then my mum is the one I trust completely to pacify my worries and give me advice. Without her id be hollow. I love my dad just as much as mum as he plays a big role in my life in different ways by taking care of me and my younger brother (my parents are divorced and I've lived with my dad since being around 13) and they are just the nicest, kindest people you could ever meet (I know I'm being biased, I'm sure all your parents are equally special in their own ways else we would be on this forum!). Literally since being about 7 or 8 when I started to worry about this I've always comforted myself by telling myself I'm going with them when they go. I've expressed my worries to them, to which they say things like "parents are supposed to die before their children it's just the natural order" and "we've all got to die sometime" but obviously that offers me no comfort. When I'm deeply in the wrath of this thought I sometimes take it as far as to imagine them on mortuary slabs and visualise their funerals (I think that's the obsessive thoughts playing a part) which Just overwhelms me with fear and anguish...it's just so hard to bare the thought of my lovely parents just as lifeless bodies...and I just don't know how I will cope and get through it as my life will be meaningless without them in it. I sometimes wish I was never born so I'd never have to deal with this inevitability, life is so over rated to me! I don't know whether I'm too late with this as most posts where in 2012 but I'd just like to thank the people on here who've shared their thoughts as its not solved my problem but it's definitely made me feel less alone.


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## Zack

WintersTale said:


> I'm scared of my mom dying, since she's the only one supporting me.


And my dad, because they're not getting any younger. I only pay a token amount in rent each month (probably a week's groceries) and do some chores. But there's no mortgage to pay... Perhaps this sounds callous because I'm really worried about MYSELF when they die, but I would be genuinely sad about their passing too.


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## Glass Child

If my father died, I would probably lose everything.

Sanity, house, health, future.

Just don't think about it.


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## Richard Pawgins

I only fear being financially unstable


I really don't give a damn about my parents dying, not to sound cold or harsh but I'm past all that emotional attachment stuff in life, people die everyday.


There's not a single person on this planet that can make me feel sad or uneasy if something happened to them at this point. I mean I'm empathetic but stuff like that is supposed to happen, you either have to accept it or go crazy.



lack of money is my only weakness at this point


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## Jesuszilla

Every blue moon I think of this and it brings me to tears. I think I would be more accepting if my parents were in their 80s but they're only in their 40s so I'd be devastated


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## fredbloggs02

Of course. My father is about the same age. These thoughts first arose in me when I was much younger. I couldn't sleep the first night, I lay awake in cold sweats and images pouring into me. There is truth in Camus' words: the thinker once beginning to think slowly becomes undermined. I remember once, when I was small, my father told me if he weren't around, he would trust the family in my hands. I told him I didn't know I would go on living without him... I hear death is "natural", but I still feel the same.

My mum was mistakenly pronounced ill with terminal cancer not much more than a year ago... that was the most terrified I have ever been in my life. I won't go into it. I don't have much regard for modern doctors anymore. The majority of doctors are practical souls at heart. It is difficult to love anyone in this life. Ethical preachers lead people into attachments to prove their tragic doctrines. If I had no family, or were capable of letting them go, I would have nothing to lose in this world but my life.


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## mysterioussoul

I'm only terrified about losing my mum and have even at times concluded that I'd go with her too.

She's my only mental and emotional support. Financially and otherwise I'm independent. Sure, my dad and his side of the family are around but only physically to me. I have no sentimental emotions towards them. They're not bad people but how they were towards my mum and my brothers and I have really cemented how I feel about them.


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## Princu

I have lost my Mom..I know that pain..I also have no sibilings..Just me and my Dad..He goes to work everyday and come late at night..All that remains is me and my loneliness


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## JustRachel

Every single day. I think its a big part of my OCD actually.

Although, I shouldn't worry to much, I've already told my parents (and every other family member) that they can't die, I refuse to go to another funeral and the next one shall be mine.

If I reacted so badly and got so ill because of my grandads death if my parents died? God I don't think I'd manage to get through it.


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## cerebralvortex

I know this is an old thread but it's what popped up on google when I was in a moment of dread. Im 39 and my mum is 76, I have illnesses for which there is no cure, just the hope that a certain medication works to slow it down. She is the only one in my family who understands and is supportive, shes visiting in town right now and for whatever reason I'm fearful for her, I don't know what I'd do without her. The fear grips me and its hard to shake off. Last time it happened I phoned her, just because I could. My coping involves enjoying her as much as I can while shes here, the fear lurks though.


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## CopadoMexicano

Both of my parents are deceased. Its part of life. When you lose a loved one it enhances your life because it gives life more meaning.


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## Samuelhenri82

*The thought of my dad dying is holding up my life*

Ever since I was little the thought of my folks dying has controlled my life. I need to focus on me and stop letting these thoughts hold me back from moving forward. This is the first time I'm reaching out because its getting ridiculous. I'm turning 31 and I've been over worrying about this long enough. Any advice would be great, thanks.


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## Niak

I'm also really scared my parents/siblings are going to die  I was in a horrific car accident this year and my grandmother and aunt passed away... Now I feel like death is around the corner  I just try to tell myself that yes, they will die one day, so I should try and enjoy my time with them instead of stressing. Still, it's so hard sometimes. I used to have a bad relationship with my mum and dad but now all I want to do is spend time with them or call them or make family videos with us all. Lol I guess it's pretty weird.

Sending you love x


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## Katelyn T

I used to be terrified of this, thought i would surely lose my mind. And then it happened, they passed away. And no, I didn't crumble or lose my mind (to my surprise), and neither will you. A support system is key though, I wasnt married but I did have siblings and friends. If you don't have this, a good therapist will help keep you on track. I also found that I was more open to building new relationships, it's a wonder how your personality can be more outgoing when you feel you need people. Also, yes I provided care to my parents in the last months/year they were ill but this did not feel like a burden. It feels good to be able to give back in a small way to the person/people that sacrificed so much for you.

This is something that everyone (most everyone if you're lucky) has to deal with at one point or another and as you see every day ppl deal with it. Enjoy every day you have now, take lots of pictures and video, and say nice and do nice things for your parents every chance you get. You'll always wish you said/did more and had more video 👍


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## bracelets91

Me too. I can't imagine what the pain would be like. They're the only ones keeping me here.


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## TheLonelyGhost

I worry about this too. My mum often remarks how she's getting old and jokingly says she wants us to "pull the plug" if she's sick. I'm lucky I have brothers and sisters who will hopefully pull together but sometimes I worry they're not really up to it. My brothers are kind of 'fragile'. My bigger brother has tried to commit suicide on a few occasions so it worries me they'll fall apart if my parents die.


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## copper

This is on my mind more lately. I keep thinking how am I going to handle it when I get that call telling me either one of parent's died in their sleep. Hopefully, it will happen when they are still living in their own house instead of a Nursing Home. Dad is probably going to go first due to being male and older then my mom. He has diabetes and circulation problems. I keep thinking how my mom is going to get along living where she is living. She doesn't know how to operate the snow blower or drive the plow truck. I am probably going to have to move closer to her to do these things. Luckily, they kept their other house when they moved into their new place across the road. I am going to have to do a remodeling job on the inside of the other house though. I keep thinking I should talk with dad about this but he tends to be stubborn about these kind of things. I do mentioned there might be a day I have to move out there. At least I did talk him in keeping the house. The house is also in my name. I also worry about my brother's wife and family trying to grub some money after my parent's die.


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## freakamidget

I'm so glad i found this thread. I've been worried about this for years everyday. I'm worried sick. I'm really close to my parents, and have never left home. Part of the reason why I don't want to leave home is what if they die? And i've missed all that precious time I could of spent with them. It scares me so much. I wish I could die before them so I don't have to go through that trauma. It will destroy me.


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## TailsAlone

I'm not really concerned about my father; we haven't seen each other in years. But it would be terrible if my mother died. She's done so much for me, even though she played a major role in my anxiety and really bothers me at times.


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## Jamesrdg

*hi*

So pleased to have found this site and this thread - this is my first post, so forgive me if I don't explain myself that well

I am 43 year old guy, live on my own but happy that way - but I live a few hours away from my parents and although we speak every week, I don't get to seem them as much as I would like and every time I leave them from a visit, I drive away and the tears start as I worry that I might one day lose them. They are both in their late 60s and their health is good but each time I see them, they look older and more tired and they both work so hard. I find it so hard to imagine them not being there. Sometimes I think that this is because I am single and don't have anyone else to focus my thoughts or love for but I think that I would probably feel like this even if I were in a relationship. I can't bear the thought of not being able to speak to them or see them and worry so much about them passing away. I have often thought that I should quit my job and go to live nearer to them but maybe that isn't a healthy solution for me and my own future. I'm so pleased to see that other adults have the same feelings as me - it does help in a small way. Thank you for reading my post.

James (UK)


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## Mbf123

I can definitely relate. I have always had an unshakable fear of losing people. When I say good bye to people, I often think, "what if this is the last time I see him/her?" It's a stressful fear. For me, I think my fear stems from not having very many close people who I love and feel love from. 

As a child, and through my teen years, I was extremely nervous about losing my mom. So much so, that I would walk her to the front door and hug her goodbye ANYTIME she left. I would become very upset if I missed the opportunity to do this. It was not until I started dating my high school sweetheart that I was able to separate more from my mother. My fear transferred to him. 

Though, as a child(4years) I did lose a "parent" quite abruptly...which could be a contributor as well. 

The best way I can advise to deal with it (what worked for me) is to always make sure that you tell the person how you feel about them. Don't ever let anger keep you from saying I love you and be sure that your words (especially your parting words) convey love. 

I wish you all the luck.


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## Jamesrdg

Thank you mdf - it helps me very much to know I am not along in feeling like this. They know I love them and I know they love me - I feel sad for having not given them any grandchildren (neither has my brother) although they have never mentioned this. 

Strangely, I can find it quite hard to talk to them about certain things, although we are close - they don't express their feelings as much as me, perhaps.

Thank you for reading my post


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## ineverwipe

I used to bring myself to tears imagining my moms funeral. I have no idea why I used to think of these things. I guess I'm very self defeating.


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## harikiri

My dad died in 2003. I didn't really grieve...we had a complicated relationship, and part of me was glad he'd gone. With my mother it's another kettle of fish. She is the only person in this world who has stuck by me and loved me through all my darkness, my faults and flaws, my illnesses, stupidities and misfortunes.

I absolutely adore her, and she's now 82. She's in brilliant health for her age and looks at least ten years younger than she is. I know that when she goes the world will seem a lonelier place. I just hope that I can build on everything positive she has ever given me, and know that she is somewhere out there with eternal unconditional love, watching over me.

It's emotional for me to write this...


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## freakamidget

Just a Q for you all - When it gets to the start of the year, do any of you think "this is the year x might die" or is it just me?


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## d low

I'm not really over my mums death, it effects you quite deeply.


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## fcmallari02

When I was a child, I'm so scared if my parents will die, Idk what will happen to me.


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## rose291997

hello i'm new, i've been having this problem since awhile, i really need some help, i'm still 17 and i'm always thinking about this problem, mostly when i'm about to sleep i start thinking about what will happen to me if i lost my mom or my dad then i suddenly start crying, i'm just too close to dem.. and i can't live a day without dem.. it's just so hard to think about this every day and mostly all the time..


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## tea111red

Me, too. My mom doesn't take that great care of herself and has been getting more sick lately, so these thoughts have been coming up more lately. If she dies, I'm screwed and will be out on the street w/ no one to turn to.


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## aquariusrising

Without my mother I would go crazy. She does everything. Sure, I can learn to do washing and can a small amount of dishes. But my step father would go to treating me like ****, since she isn't around. He would not lift a finger, as he does now. I would be taking place of my mother. There is no way I'm cooking for that jerk and him dump his dishes on the bench with a huge self satisfied smirk on his face. My mother has an anger to her that gets him to do things. I am too soft and he doesn't respect me.

She has saved our lives from his driving. He just doesn't care about anything..speeding tickets...hygiene nothing. He acts like he is brain dead. He never bathes and stinks sometimes. When he does bath, it is splashing himself with water once every few weeks. My mother washes him every time. The most disgusting thing is he doesn't wipe his own butt properly, so she gives him wipes every day and tells me how much poo comes off. If she didn't do it, we would have to put up with his smell. He isn't an invalid. Just incredibly lazy. What would I do if he died and his bathing? I'm not bathing him! But what about his stench? What about washing his clothes? He can't even hang up clothing because of laziness. When he is told.. He uses no pegs and throws it over!

He also has a skin condition on his scalp and leaves these small scabs over the computer keyboard that we constantly need to clean. Sometimes they are bigger. Or sometimes he leaks pus all over his scalp to make a huge pus patch on a pillow slip. He also bleeds onto her sheets and leaves scabs on her sheets. She tells him to not scratch and everything. He doesn't respect her and doesn't listen. She usually has to change her sheets daily. It is so hard on her!

Then there is his other laziness, leaving an empty loo roll on the hook thing.. Or throwing it somewhere in the bathroom. OH and pubic hairs or pee on the toilet seat. His public hairs get everywhere... On my clothes.. On plates... The floor... EVERYWHERE. All I do is constantly pick them from my clothing, especially my socks. Sometimes I find them in my sheets! They can be as long as two fingers. Makes me sick! One time I was drying my face after a bath and I got one in my mouth. My mother regularly cleans our bathroom floor of his public hairs. 

He also doesn't shave,unless he is told, which involves arguments with my other

Or the idiot he makes of himself in public. Im not even joking. 


He doesn't work either. Just sleeps and is up all night. The funny thing is, he has had easily...hundreds of jobs! He is just a total stupid tool. I don't get him!

My mother is really unwell and she is surprised she is still alive. I love her so much

I can't live with him, but I can't live alone either.


Edit: speak of the devil... Just had to get a long pubic hair off a stuffed animal....


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## Zashlin

I remember when I was like 5 or 6 I asked my mom if she was going to die and she said "yes" then I cried in my room for the whole day. Yeah Im afraid too about what will happen. A few years ago I used to worry about how we're getting older and older, and eventually you're going to die soon too. I'm not afraid of me dying but I'm afraid of my parents dying because it could happen any moment. I think about the worst possible scenarios or the life after they die. How will I cope with having an empty heart and loss of support? I used to stay up all night thinking about this. But I keep my mind away from those negative thoughts and think about something else. I can't keep worrying about the inevitable.


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## wvbry

Yes, I have had this fear as well...I am so close to my parents and they are the ones I go to when I feel like I can't cope with life. It is scary to see them getting older even though they are still in good health. Sometimes just the future itself scares me :/


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## bringdaruckus

same im scared of my parents dying i cant live on my own


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## Cascades

Yes, I think about this alot unfortunately. I'll randomly think about it during the day but most of the time at night and it absolutely scares me to death. I keep telling myself that there is no way out of it. It will happen one day and I can't do a thing to stop it.

I moved from Melbourne to Sydney last year and it was really hard to leave my parents - especially my dad as there was alot of family drama and (and I'm daddy's girl) a few years back and my parents weren't speaking and just like you said, my dad used to say coming home to see me and be able to talk to me was the best part of his day. And wow..this is bringing tears. I felt guilty leaving the house especially on a Tuesday night because mum would go out and it would just be me and dad. I hated thinking about him being alone in this big house but everyone is fine now and the family is closer together which makes me feel better but still.

Sometimes I'll listen to his favourite song 'Hotel California' and it's like he's already passed away or something because I just start crying. I cannot bear to lose him and I know that he's got about 40 or so years left as my dad too is in his 60's. 

I just try to talk and text my dad as much as possible and let him know how much I love him but when that day comes...it's going to be the hardest thing I'll ever go through.


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## knight1985

I was a nervous wreck when my dad got cancer.. And the very thought of him dying crippled me and pushed me into depression. Well cut to the chase I lost him on 26th September 2012. And that day Iddidn't cry. I kept looking at his body.. My dad was a livewire.. A party animal.. A man who lived life to love it and never got upset when ever he faced defeat. And today that man lay there.. And it dawned on me. If he could die.. Anyone could die. I'm sorry this line won't make sense. However that day I guess I lost the fear of death. I realise... We won't know it when it happens... Unless we are really unlucky to die of burning.. Drowning or beheading. 

Lastly please love ur parents... Cherish then.. Celebrate them. You will really miss them when they are gone. I know I have a lot of issues with my mom. But she is all I have. 

God bless u all. And your parents.


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## VisualAttraction

Oh gosh, I can definitely relate to you. The easiest way to make me cry is to picture my parents dying.


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## AndrewUK83

Agree with all of this my direct family and me are like the outcasts of the family I worry that now my dad isnt at home something will happen to my Mum and I will be all alone probably very selfish but its a big house for one person with mental health problems


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## CreamCheese

It's kind of funny I came across this because I woke up with debilitating anxiety thinking about this. I have been more so terrified by this anxiety in the past two years. My parents are separated and I am an only child so it becomes very debilitating to think about this because they're the only ones I have. I graduated college, have made no friends and I live with my parents. I feel selfish and everytime I go through frustrations about my classmates or professors, I direct it at them and hate it bc they're the least deserving of it. But I have nobody to turn to and because of that I'm terrified of what could happen to them. I believe in God and strongly in prayer, so I just pray that we're all healthy as long as possible.


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## AndrewUK83

CreamCheese said:


> It's kind of funny I came across this because I woke up with debilitating anxiety thinking about this. I have been more so terrified by this anxiety in the past two years. My parents are separated and I am an only child so it becomes very debilitating to think about this because they're the only ones I have. I graduated college, have made no friends and I live with my parents. I feel selfish and everytime I go through frustrations about my classmates or professors, I direct it at them and hate it bc they're the least deserving of it. But I have nobody to turn to and because of that I'm terrified of what could happen to them. I believe in God and strongly in prayer, so I just pray that we're all healthy as long as possible.


Perhaps just tell them that your grateful that they are there to listen and sorry that you drop it on their lap, trust me a reminder now and again of the good person you are and how much you care goes a long way.


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## BillDauterive

I just had to take my dad to the hospital yesterday for a severe allergic reaction when he has never been allergic before. Since the beginning of this year, he has been getting sick with all sorts of various and different ailments. Last year, he was doing just fine and his health has just taken a sudden downturn all of a sudden for no reason at all. Coughing non-stop, getting a cyst near his liver, etc. What the heck!?

If this keeps up, I'm not sure if he will make it to the end of this year. Even at my advanced age, I am still extremely dependent on my parents for financial and emotional support. I am the furthest thing from being independent there is.

They have actually told me to get married myself so at least there would be someone to take care of me when they are gone and would get me an arranged marriage. Too bad I am not attracted to women of my own race/ethnicity and I cannot attract a woman on my own to save my pathetic life. Beggars can't be choosers, huh?

I wish they didn't have me at late ages vs. most parents. Like my dad had me when he was 40. This is both their second marriages. I'm going to lose both of them sooner than my peers. Sigh...


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## lifeimpossible123

they are humans after all....:|


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## knight1985

Cascades said:


> Yes, I think about this alot unfortunately. I'll randomly think about it during the day but most of the time at night and it absolutely scares me to death. I keep telling myself that there is no way out of it. It will happen one day and I can't do a thing to stop it.
> 
> I moved from Melbourne to Sydney last year and it was really hard to leave my parents - especially my dad as there was alot of family drama and (and I'm daddy's girl) a few years back and my parents weren't speaking and just like you said, my dad used to say coming home to see me and be able to talk to me was the best part of his day. And wow..this is bringing tears. I felt guilty leaving the house especially on a Tuesday night because mum would go out and it would just be me and dad. I hated thinking about him being alone in this big house but everyone is fine now and the family is closer together which makes me feel better but still.
> 
> Sometimes I'll listen to his favourite song 'Hotel California' and it's like he's already passed away or something because I just start crying. I cannot bear to lose him and I know that he's got about 40 or so years left as my dad too is in his 60's.
> 
> I just try to talk and text my dad as much as possible and let him know how much I love him but when that day comes...it's going to be the hardest thing I'll ever go through.


When that day comes... Don't live with the regret that I wish I could have spent some more time with him....

I am living with that regret.


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## RedViperofDorne

I read a post on another site earlier from a guy who said his mother died suddenly yesterday. Reading that post made me quite upset. I'm terrified of anything happening to my mum. I'm basically a momma's boy, I'm very close to my mum. I don't think I'll be able to cope without her. I'm scared of moving away because I don't want her to be alone in the house. She doesn't really have anyone except for me, and I have no one except her.


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## jonjo2289

my mum is my best friend, i dont want her leave me


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## Meg Kafka

Think of it this way. Its wonderful that you love your parents so much, and that youre concerned for them. Most people dont care so much. You only have them with you so long!

Why think of this as either or? Why cant you move forward with bold steps in life but also keep them as a very close part of your life whether you live under the same roof??

The greatest honor you can give you parents is to love them as they age!!!!!


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## Tintinta

i feel exactly the same way. i felt it when i was 14 and felt terrified when my mom and dad left over a weekend trip. when they returned i was depressed and used to wake up and sleep on the carpet next to my parents bed. this feeling went away in a couple of weeks. my anxiety over this issue went away for a long time. i had small anxieties like going to places and not having a car, etc but very minor feelings. i went away to college, travelled and never had those thoughts again. anxiety hit again when i was 30 and it left me depressed. now it come and goes and my main thoughts are not having parents there for me to feel secure (even though i am very independent, have a child and am married (not a great marriage though ). i worry about them being dead and not having anyone to rely on. your feelings of anxiety are similiar to mine .


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