# Tribute to Nice Guys



## matt404 (Feb 8, 2006)

I randomly found this "essay" on the net and thought a lot of the guys here would like to read it. I think most guys here can relate to at least some of it.

http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~jenf/writing/rant04.html


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

I am a nice guy, but i'm not as nice that. 

I wouldn't try to take advantage of a druken girl nor am i the type of guy who would want to degrade or insult girls (or anybody) at any point, even though most men take pride in doing so. 

I play by the rules, and i suffer the consequences, but no way in hell i'm going to get bruised like that. If the day ever comes when a girl thinks she can talk to me about her boyfriend for two hours straight and then use me as a place holder body for a date even though she knows damn well i'm trying to get on her 'good' side that 'friendship' will end pretty damn quick, believe me...


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## On the way (Feb 9, 2006)

Yeah, I had the same reaction -- "I'm nice, but I'm not THAT nice."


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## matt404 (Feb 8, 2006)

Yeah, like I said, we can relate to some of it, (hopefully) not all of it.


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## salty (Mar 21, 2006)

i'm that nice. :sigh


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## pixiedust (Aug 11, 2005)

Where can I find one of these? :lol


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## jerzeyb (Nov 19, 2005)

pixiedust said:


> Where can I find one of these? :lol


i know of one from canada...haha. although i have never been the warm body at a party(to help their ego, ward of the unwanted, etc.), i have been pretty much every other guy at many times of my life. with the exception of one person, all of my friends(the other three) are women, and i have played the part of the nice guy many, many times. on the flip side, one of my female friends helped me out by being my 'date' for a wedding. being a nice guy has not gotten me a girlfriend(or laid for that matter), but being a nice guy did help me in feeling like less of a loser. in a way my friend helped me and my ego, by accompanying me in a large gathering. if i wasn't 'there' for my friend on many occasions, i doubt she would have been 'there' for me.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Didn't like that essay one bit.


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

pixiedust said:


> Where can I find one of these? :lol


Look among guys you are not attracted to...


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## Supalady05 (Nov 11, 2005)

salty said:


> i'm that nice. :sigh


and there's nothing wrong with that.


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## Nae (Nov 10, 2003)

> This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing "serious" between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: "oh, but we're just friends!" And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're nice like that.


 uke uke


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## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

^! ~



> This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner.


:um


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## matt404 (Feb 8, 2006)

salty said:


> i'm that nice. :sigh





pixiedust said:


> Where can I find one of these? :lol


*pixiedust*, meet *salty*.

I agree with you on the uke on that part *Nae*. I think that might qualify as a little too nice. :lol


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## Nae (Nov 10, 2003)

matt404 said:


> I agree with you on the uke on that part *Nae*. I think that might qualify as a little too nice. :lol


I don't even see it as being nice...more like being walked on.


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## pixiedust (Aug 11, 2005)

I was just kidding. :? I wouldn't do that to anyone, at least not at this point in my life :hide 

I agree with Nae, it's beyond nice, it's more like being walked on.


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## Argo (May 1, 2005)

scairy said:


> Didn't like that essay one bit.


She came off like a queen talking about one of her eunuchs.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

Lyric Suite said:


> pixiedust said:
> 
> 
> > Where can I find one of these? :lol
> ...


Heh. True...


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## living in darkness (Apr 17, 2005)

...


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## penguin (Feb 6, 2005)

Nice is not the same as: doormat.

Argo,

:lol good one.


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

I read that essay. Nice guy = doormat


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## MetalRacer (Oct 11, 2011)

Very nice essay.


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## Ashley1990 (Aug 27, 2011)

:high5 finally i find something positive here...

hello to all nice guys..!!!!


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## TmastermanT (Apr 8, 2012)

Best thing I read in the past two weeks.


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

I liked this 

Ive never known a girl well enough to be a 'nice guy' though.


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## Stilla (May 13, 2009)

> ...the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative *****es


Oh yeah I don't think I've ever read a more beautiful and true essay like this one. :blank


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

Guys described sound more like p*****s if you ask me.

Grow a spine, nobody wants to be used like that.


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## lkkxm (Apr 11, 2012)

Sh*t... I'm that nice... No wonder most of the time I feel like a:



Prodigal Son said:


> I read that essay. Nice guy = *doormat*


I've even gone so far as to let a girl tell her boyfriend I was gay so he wouldn't "act all jealous."


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## talisman (Aug 5, 2005)

Stilla said:


> Oh yeah I don't think I've ever read a more beautiful and true essay like this one. :blank


Yeah that bit did kind of spoil it imo. :sus

It shouldn't really come as any suprise that acts of goodness often go unnoticed. People do tend to like a bit of drama and something to moan about. An act of generosity or kindness rarely provides either.


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## CrimsonTrigger (Jun 28, 2011)

I'm nice...sometimes. Other times I'm evil. I tell people I'm like the angel and the devil fighting for supremacy. Get on my good side and I'll treat you well and be pleasant. Piss me off, however, and you'll face wrath far more scary than any torture imaginable.


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## Isolated Silence (Apr 16, 2012)

I consider myself to be last Remnant of the Nice Guys, reason is that where I live an overwhelming amount of guys are ******** and women seem to like it, god only knows why. I have a good Heart there is still some integrity left.
　
Women need to give me a fighting chance, before it's too late for me.


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## mzmz (Feb 26, 2012)

*I would never treat a guy that way*

and have not. 
But if you do these things, while waiting patently to realize how great you are please realize; If shes not attracted to you, it aint gonna happen. so you may as well spend your efforts volunteering somewhere where you'll meet single girls. Also stop whining at me, puppy. It's not my responsibility to "feed you"

I should mention i've had guys pull this with me and I wont let them hide it i'm all like "Do you like me? because were going to be friends and that is IT"
:roll girls shouldn't string puppies along its not nice or fair


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## lkkxm (Apr 11, 2012)

Hey....

Second Opinion:


seems to be about the "friendzone" being sexist. I didn't have time to read all of it


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

lkkxm said:


> Hey....
> 
> Second Opinion:
> 
> ...


Nice article, it does sound really sexist.


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## Ckg2011 (Aug 9, 2011)

I'm nice guy and it just doesn't seem to matter to anyone. An it's not in me to mean or an A-hole to people.

Like Weezer said - "_I just can't get no play
From the girls, all around
As they search the night for someone to hold onto.
And I just pass through_"


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## Isolated Silence (Apr 16, 2012)

Ckg2011 said:


> I'm nice guy and it just doesn't seem to matter to anyone. An it's not in me to mean or an A-hole to people.
> 
> Yeah you said it man.
> 
> ...


And a Yes to that as well, all that sounds pritty much like me as well.
Man i got real problem with society!


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

BobtheSaint said:


> Nice article, it does sound really sexist.


Honestly, I found the article itself deeply sexist, very problematic and completely lacking in addressing the issues.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Milco said:


> Honestly, I found the article itself deeply sexist, very problematic and completely lacking in addressing the issues.


How so? It was pretty clear, and addressed the issues perfectly.


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## fingertips (Jan 11, 2009)

> This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door


this is the worst thing in a pretty bad article! "never taking advantage" of someone is not an achievement!



> for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.


barf


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

BobtheSaint said:


> How so? It was pretty clear imo.


By saying that "friend zone" is really just a term guys use when a girl doesn't give them sex.
By saying that if you really want to be "nice", you can have no objections and not feel upset when somebody rejects you as it is their personal freedom.
That, transitively, if you've been rejected by 20 or 30, it is still only the expression of their personal freedoms and not some greater trend in society that is deeming you less desirable, which you are showing upset about.


> Over and over again, we're taught that girls who openly express sexual or romantic interest in guys who don't want them are pitiable, stalkerish, desperate, crazy *****es.
> ...
> we're raised to believe that female desire is unseemly, so that any consequent shaming is therefore deserved.
> ...
> If a girl has been told no, then she has only herself to blame for anything that happens next - but if a woman says no, then she must not really mean it. Or, if she does, she shouldn't: the rejected man is a universally sympathetic figure...


It's sexist, it's manipulative and it completely distorts the actual goings on and dynamics between the genders.
I don't understand why it's ok to say that men have innate drives for sex and will call women names if they do not get it, but suggesting that women have innate drives that cause attraction to perceived status and power is faux pas and frowned upon.
I don't think anybody is saying they have the "rights" to be with a particular girl, but only that it is frustrating that we, as a society, are encouraging the wrong traits.

We seem to have a definition of niceness being:
"Being nice as long as it doesn't compromise your authority"
And if you compromise your authority with 'excessive' niceness, then you're a "doormat" and everybody else can justifiably look down on you and reject you for it.
And if "doormats" object to that classification by society, then they are manipulative jerks who just wanted sex or demanded to be treated well for being nice - both of which just further justifies looking down on them.
It's a very problematic perception of "niceness" and the dynamics which govern our behaviour.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Milco said:


> By saying that "friend zone" is really just a term guys use when a girl doesn't give them sex.
> By saying that if you really want to be "nice", you can have no objections and not feel upset when somebody rejects you as it is their personal freedom.
> That, transitively, if you've been rejected by 20 or 30, it is still only the expression of their personal freedoms and not some greater trend in society that is deeming you less desirable, which you are showing upset about.
> It's sexist, it's manipulative and it completely distorts the actual goings on and dynamics between the genders.
> ...


Yeah, this is what I'm trying to say. :clap

Dang, I thought we disagreed for a minute there lol....


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

BobtheSaint said:


> Yeah, this is what I'm trying to say. :clap
> 
> Dang, I thought we disagreed for a minute there lol....


Sometimes I think I disagree with myself :um

Don't get me wrong though.. I don't envy girls who get semi-groped at clubs against their will by guys who expect to get 'something'.
My point is just that hormones et al. do not only make men behave in strange ways that we might not rationally want, but that women have similar things as well.
How much is personal freedom and how much we should try to influence is a political discussion, but we need to be aware of what our tendencies are before we can know how to deal with them.


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## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

> *the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative *****es*


 
At least he added the caveat "many" instead of "all". "Some" would have been better.

And that guy in the essay isn't a nice guy, he's a total doormat. You can be nice and still smile and say "no", or "sorry, I'm busy".


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