# Anyone else having a crap first day at uni/college?



## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

It'd be nice to know I'm not the only one :/

Being stuck in my room all day with no-one to talk to wishing lessons would start a week early so I had something to do can't be normal...

Things could be worse.. The people I'm sharing my flat with are nice enough, I was worried that I'd be stuck with a bunch of people who hate my guts but thankfully that isn't the case. I haven't been completely avoiding people, last night (i arrived last night so really this is day two) I made an effort to speak with them and socialised for a few hours with a few other people from our hall of residence. But its clear none of them are my kind of people. I'm not trying to be condecending, but you can't 'click' with everyone and it seems like there isn't a single person here who has any social compatibility with me at all... 

I was concerned this would happen before I went but everyone assured me that there would be every kind of person you could imagine here. That isn't the case, the student village seems to be populated exclusevly by extroverted yolo-ish loud (totally nice, aggreable people mind) individuals whom I feel out of place with, and who probably feel out of place talking to me. I'm beginning to wonder if people like me even go to university at all :/

So to summerise, everyone is in town somewhere at the moment (or something) with friends they seem to have arrived with or spontaniously made, and I'm just sitting in my room (this expiriance actually reminds me of being sent to my room as a child) 100 miles from home with no plans, no friends and barely any hope that I'm going to cope until the holidays. Damn I wish I was somewhere else.


That really turned into a long rant, sorry about that


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

*I was lucky*

to hit a pinnacle of social peak

felt like a new school. I spent most of my time alone in my hall room, but drinking beer after every lecture warmed me up a bit. Prompted by people to say come out.

It's your call to pull out if you're awkward.

Most of my life is alone in my apartment just like a hall room for the first year. 
With parents while as school I was isolated

Watch out for luck. It does happen. Put effort into how you spend your time, to contribute to the lightening flash which may strike

Losing control of your fate is the worst. I see it as running for a train - don't let anything slip away. Some things can be redeemed, fixed, retried or improved. Some can't


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## Jessycat (Sep 26, 2013)

Same here! How's it going now?

It's not even my first day any more- I've been here a week- and I still hate it. The people in my halls are nice people, but they're really loud (having a party right now in the kitchen) and extroverted and I feel so intimidated by them.

I have made 0 friends (I have tried) and everyone seems to be the party type of people. But then again I've only been here for freshers, and as an introvert that was always going to be stressful.

I hope it improves in lectures because at the minute I'd love to go home if my future wasn't dependant on me being at uni.

I guess join a society? I'm gonna try tennis and if that doesn't work out, maybe volunteer/ get a job. I'm gonna visit home lots too. Feel free to chat to me


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## calirook (Sep 28, 2013)

It all depends where you go. I have been to 3 colleges. 2 of them sucked balls and the one I'm at now is awesome. No more upper middle class pests and the like. Most people where I go are humble because they are poor and they are trying to get their stuff together. But then I will transfer to 4 year again and hopefully it is the same as where I go now (except with even more mature folk).

I had crap first day of school at high school in junior year so I can feel you on that. But at least there's more schools out there. If you don't like the one you are at at all, it is normal to transfer to a different one. I met a girl at the one I was going to before and she transferred to Monterey. I think she did that because there were flocks of idiots at the one we were attending.


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

Jessycat said:


> Same here! How's it going now?
> 
> It's not even my first day any more- I've been here a week- and I still hate it. The people in my halls are nice people, but they're really loud (having a party right now in the kitchen) and extroverted and I feel so intimidated by them.
> 
> ...


Still pretty much the same lol and I've started my course and everything. I defiantly can't drop out of anything, my mum says I'd have to get a fully time job to pay for everything we've already spent if I did. Plus this uni was like the one I was really really hoping to get into all the way through college so everyone will think there's something wrong with me if I just drop out after all that effort spent getting here.

I really do hate it though. I wish people would stop talking about how 'it takes a while to settle in' or 'everything will work out.' NO. No everything doesn't always work out... sometimes things are just **** and they stay ****. I'm so out of the loop about the whole societies thing. I have no idea about all that. I feel like I've just been placed here to be out of the way of the entire world, as if I'm a book that's never been read sitting on the top shelf collecting dust. The exact opposite of what everyone was promising :no

I hope the tennis thing works out for you


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## Jessycat (Sep 26, 2013)

Thanks  I am such an idiot- I honestly intended to go to tennis, even though I don't know anyone. I even went out to buy sport stuff, then got back just in time to realise that I was at the wrong place, and had interpreted the email wrong. They took a train too, so there was no way of catching up or anything. That was my one social thing, and it's gone. Haha. 

I've started lectures now, too. Not really any better other than I have stuff to do... and I know, people are always telling me it'll get better, but for some people, I don't think it does. I just don't think I'm a "uni person" but I don't want to give up my future.

Yeah I'm out of the whole society loop now, my only one I missed, I think that was really unlucky. Obviously destined to not have any friends here. Didn't you go to fresher's fayre? That's where I signed up, but I guess other than that, you'd have to talk to someone at your uni about it.


At least there are other people who feel the same (very selfish), might make you feel better. Which uni do you go to?


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

Jessycat said:


> Thanks  I am such an idiot- I honestly intended to go to tennis, even though I don't know anyone. I even went out to buy sport stuff, then got back just in time to realise that I was at the wrong place, and had interpreted the email wrong. They took a train too, so there was no way of catching up or anything. That was my one social thing, and it's gone. Haha.
> 
> I've started lectures now, too. Not really any better other than I have stuff to do... and I know, people are always telling me it'll get better, but for some people, I don't think it does. I just don't think I'm a "uni person" but I don't want to give up my future.
> 
> ...


You're mistake about getting the wrong place sounds like a mistake I've made a billion times lol. I think I've just about messed up everything I've attempted here at least once before getting it right :um

Do you have any change to make any friends in lectures? (Probably a stupid question). My course is my favourite thing about being here, we have this one teacher who puts us into groups to do group work (great as It means I'm not just left there without anyone lol) and I was put in a group with three girls last time and just talking to them made me realise how much I've missed having someone to talk to :|

Fresher's fayre wasn't where we got registered. I didn't go to that because It seemed like everyone was going in little groups of friends and I didn't want to see weird on my own. Getting registered was stressful enough as it was.

I go to Salford Uni. What about you?


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## Jessycat (Sep 26, 2013)

Droidsteel said:


> You're mistake about getting the wrong place sounds like a mistake I've made a billion times lol. I think I've just about messed up everything I've attempted here at least once before getting it right :um
> 
> Do you have any change to make any friends in lectures? (Probably a stupid question). My course is my favourite thing about being here, we have this one teacher who puts us into groups to do group work (great as It means I'm not just left there without anyone lol) and I was put in a group with three girls last time and just talking to them made me realise how much I've missed having someone to talk to :|
> 
> ...


Happy to know other people make silly mistakes, I was so annoyed with myself XD

I was hoping it'd be easy to make friends at lectures, and I do have people I say "hi" to, but no one who I sit with every day or would class as a friend. We have lots of group work here too, we just did a presentation and the people there are nice, and I have to work in a pair soon, and we have tutorial groups too so for those I'm not alone which is nice, like you said. I miss it too, have you made friends then?

I think lunch is probably the worst though, so far I've sort of just tagged along with whoever I was with, and their friends, but I don't think I can keep doing that haha.

Aw, too bad about fresher's fayre, I didn't go to the second one because of the same reason. This uni stuff's stressful :|

Oh, and I go to one in London  it's nice to have someone going through the same, it seems like everyone has best friends here but me.


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

Jessycat said:


> Happy to know other people make silly mistakes, I was so annoyed with myself XD
> 
> I was hoping it'd be easy to make friends at lectures, and I do have people I say "hi" to, but no one who I sit with every day or would class as a friend. We have lots of group work here too, we just did a presentation and the people there are nice, and I have to work in a pair soon, and we have tutorial groups too so for those I'm not alone which is nice, like you said. I miss it too, have you made friends then?
> 
> ...


It must be expensive in London 

No I haven't made friends. I can't see any opportunity too either. At lunchtimes I actually go back to my room for like 10 minutes just and then come back again just so I don't have to sit on my own for ages. Sucks.

The only people I talk to are my three flatmates but I've never had conversation with them that lasted more than five sentences. Classes and lectures are actually pretty crappy environments for making friends. The only ideal way of making friends that seems to exist is making friends through already existing friends. Total catch 22.

How are your teachers?


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## Jessycat (Sep 26, 2013)

Droidsteel said:


> It must be expensive in London
> 
> No I haven't made friends. I can't see any opportunity too either. At lunchtimes I actually go back to my room for like 10 minutes just and then come back again just so I don't have to sit on my own for ages. Sucks.
> 
> ...


Yeah, it really is! On the plus side, worrying about everything else means I'm not stressed about money.

I know how you feel, I think I'm gonna have to start going back to my room too. I really hate it haha.

You only have 3 flay mates? I have 6 XD that makes it even worse though, cause it's always really loud and intimidating with them. I thought when you said you were talking to those girls it meant you'd made friends, and at least one of us was getting somewhere 

I think people build up the uni experience way too much. I thought it'd be amazing, I'd have friends and we'd go out all the time and I'd have the best time, when actually I don't think I've ever been less happy. I'm at home this weekend just to get away from it all. Forcing myself to go back tomorrow.

My teachers are nice, we have one funny guy who makes me smile, and one rubbish one who expects us to know all this complex stuff he calls basic, but other than that they're good. How're yours?


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## Jessycat (Sep 26, 2013)

Flat mates* not flay mates


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

Jessycat said:


> Yeah, it really is! On the plus side, worrying about everything else means I'm not stressed about money.
> 
> I know how you feel, I think I'm gonna have to start going back to my room too. I really hate it haha.
> 
> ...


I don't know how you put up with six flatmates  when they all have friends round it must be a nightmare! My teachers are all pretty good, thank god. Everyone is fine here... it's just that they are all indifferent to me. My mum keeps assuring me that things will be fine when I've 'properly settled in' which I thought I had done, having been here for a few weeks. She'll probably still be saying that a year from now. I would have gone home at least once by now but I have to go by train and that means going through Manchester Piccadilly station which is huge and intimidating and more like an airport 

I reckon most people build it up because they actually did have a good time at uni. I'm sure most people do.

So do you see any way out of this social quicksand trap or are you just as clueless as me lol. And are you going to stay if things don't improve?


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## Jessycat (Sep 26, 2013)

Droidsteel said:


> I don't know how you put up with six flatmates  when they all have friends round it must be a nightmare! My teachers are all pretty good, thank god. Everyone is fine here... it's just that they are all indifferent to me. My mum keeps assuring me that things will be fine when I've 'properly settled in' which I thought I had done, having been here for a few weeks. She'll probably still be saying that a year from now. I would have gone home at least once by now but I have to go by train and that means going through Manchester Piccadilly station which is huge and intimidating and more like an airport
> 
> I reckon most people build it up because they actually did have a good time at uni. I'm sure most people do.
> 
> So do you see any way out of this social quicksand trap or are you just as clueless as me lol. And are you going to stay if things don't improve?


Yeah it's pretty intimidating, having 10 people stood laughing and being loud in your kitchen, kinda makes me not want to cook. Same here, everyone is nice, I just don't click with anyone. My mum keeps saying that too, but I think after 2 weeks friendship groups have kind of been established.

Aw, too bad you can't go home. It was so nice, I don't know what I'm gonna do on the weekend by myself, cause I live so far away I can't go every week plus I think I'd be even more of an outcast if I did. I'm sure if you wanted to go home you could find your way though, ask people and stuff, it'll be well sign posted. I didn't know my way either, 2 tubes and a busy train station and then I had to find the coach place, but the thought of getting out of here made me go through it.

I guess most people do enjoy uni, it certainly seems like it. I wish I could.

Nope, I see no way out. I really do try talking to people in lectures and stuff, and what else can I do besides that? If things don't improve... I really don't know.

The thought of quitting because of social stuff makes me unhappy, I mean I know this is what I want to do and I'm here for the degree, and if I quit I'll look back in a few years and think, by now I could have a degree, even if I was miserable for a while. Plus, things could improve at any time.

Then again, I don't know if I can go years feeling like this, I'm seriously unhappy and constantly considering quitting. I can't wait until the end of the day and the only thing keeping me going is the holidays. If things don't improve I'm not sure I'll be able to carry on. How about you?


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

Jessycat said:


> Yeah it's pretty intimidating, having 10 people stood laughing and being loud in your kitchen, kinda makes me not want to cook. Same here, everyone is nice, I just don't click with anyone. My mum keeps saying that too, but I think after 2 weeks friendship groups have kind of been established.
> 
> Aw, too bad you can't go home. It was so nice, I don't know what I'm gonna do on the weekend by myself, cause I live so far away I can't go every week plus I think I'd be even more of an outcast if I did. I'm sure if you wanted to go home you could find your way though, ask people and stuff, it'll be well sign posted. I didn't know my way either, 2 tubes and a busy train station and then I had to find the coach place, but the thought of getting out of here made me go through it.
> 
> ...


I'm not going to quit. I can't see any way to make any friends yet but the thing is I have just two friends back home anyway, and I rarely see either. If I quit uni I'd be left in a similar social standing but without the oppertunities I have here. If its the same for you I would suggest staying.

Yesterday I reopened my okcupid account just to get the chance to meet people lol. Now I'm in Manchester there are actually people using the site near me. Other than this I'm out of ideas though. I might take advantage of studying next to the bbc and go see a live recording of something.

Have you thought of any ways of meeting anyone other than in lectures? Because I find that methord pretty impossible.


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## morton (Oct 10, 2013)

I spent my first day playing computer games in my dorm room. As an introvert, I had a good time.


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## Jessycat (Sep 26, 2013)

Droidsteel said:


> I'm not going to quit. I can't see any way to make any friends yet but the thing is I have just two friends back home anyway, and I rarely see either. If I quit uni I'd be left in a similar social standing but without the oppertunities I have here. If its the same for you I would suggest staying.
> 
> Yesterday I reopened my okcupid account just to get the chance to meet people lol. Now I'm in Manchester there are actually people using the site near me. Other than this I'm out of ideas though. I might take advantage of studying next to the bbc and go see a live recording of something.
> 
> Have you thought of any ways of meeting anyone other than in lectures? Because I find that methord pretty impossible.


I like your determination  I change my mind most days as to whether I can cope  today's more of a no... I was sat with the whole of my flat and someone's friend cause it's someone's birthday, they were talking about getting pet fish and one of them said "we should name them after the 3 girls in the flat" (there's 4 including me) I was sat right there and they didn't think I'd heard, so they were all giggling. Ugh.

But yeah, socially, back home I'd be no better off. I have a few friends but they're mostly at other unis, it'd just be nice not to have this whole social pressure thing, and see my family more.

Okcupid's an idea XD I know there are other sites purely for making friends too, you could try that. I've seen one where you choose the sort of thing you wanna do (not just clubbing/ drinking) and then you/ other people can sign up. D'you want friends on your course or just in general? Because if in general, you could join clubs outside of uni, I know at a park near me they have a noticeboard with things like sport/ yoga etc. or look online. You could get a job, but I'm not gonna cause of uni work and I'm stressed enough haha. If in uni, I have no idea. If I had any useful advice I'd probably have friends by now 

I was thinking of going to the BBC too, being in London, not sure it'd be any good for making friends but it'd be fun which I could do with 

What do you do on weekends or who d'you sit with in lectures? I don't know how you deal with it. But currently I'm not quitting either


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

Jessycat said:


> I like your determination  I change my mind most days as to whether I can cope  today's more of a no... I was sat with the whole of my flat and someone's friend cause it's someone's birthday, they were talking about getting pet fish and one of them said "we should name them after the 3 girls in the flat" (there's 4 including me) I was sat right there and they didn't think I'd heard, so they were all giggling. Ugh.
> 
> But yeah, socially, back home I'd be no better off. I have a few friends but they're mostly at other unis, it'd just be nice not to have this whole social pressure thing, and see my family more.
> 
> ...


On weekends I'm stuck in my room and in lectures I just sit wherever there is a seat. Someone I am working with in another class said hi to me today so I guess that counts for something..

It was good that you were socialising with flatmates, at least that means that they aknowlage you're existance


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## Jessycat (Sep 26, 2013)

Droidsteel said:


> On weekends I'm stuck in my room and in lectures I just sit wherever there is a seat. Someone I am working with in another class said hi to me today so I guess that counts for something..
> 
> It was good that you were socialising with flatmates, at least that means that they aknowlage you're existance


well that's something  maybe you could become friends with that person.

I wouldn't say "socialising" haha, I felt pressured into sitting with them all, and that's what I got for doing it.

But hey, on Saturday I'll have been at uni a month and you've been there even longer. Christmas isn't that long away, just look forward to going home and seeing your other friends. One good thing is that time goes really quickly here.

Tell me if anything happens with Okcupid, I might give it a go haha.


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

Jessycat said:


> well that's something  maybe you could become friends with that person.
> 
> I wouldn't say "socialising" haha, I felt pressured into sitting with them all, and that's what I got for doing it.
> 
> ...


You've got to be kidding about the time.. Ive been here four weeks it feels like four YEARS


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## Jessycat (Sep 26, 2013)

Droidsteel said:


> You've got to be kidding about the time.. Ive been here four weeks it feels like four YEARS


Haha... I feel like the weeks go pretty quickly, but I think that's because I have exams soon. When I have deadlines and stuff there never seems to be enough time. How long d'you get for Christmas? I get about a month ... counting down the days  also, have you told your parents how you're feeling?

I officially hate weekends XD never thought I'd say that.


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## Jessycat (Sep 26, 2013)

Hey

How's uni going, is it any better for you now?


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## Hermiter (Dec 15, 2013)

yes


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## Hermiter (Dec 15, 2013)

it was quite hard but i will get better hopefully. i almost couldnt go in the building


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## Lokis Whispers (Feb 24, 2012)

Mine actually wasn't _so_ bad, but my first day was worse than the second. I had so much anxiety built up wondering how my classes were going to be and how the other students would act. All that stress was making my a-fib act up. My computer class was fine, I think just sitting in front of a computer screen is comforting because it gives me something to look at instead of gazing over at people all paranoid-like :afr I was freaking out over my New Testament class at first because the professor said we'd be doing lots of small group discussions, but it turned out everyone in that class was incredibly nice and polite so I was able to calm down a bit.

My second day was great though! I actually spoke up in class a few times, and chatted with the student in front of me during group discussion. Four must be my lucky number since I dropped out of college the last three times due to anxiety.



Hermiter said:


> it was quite hard but i will get better hopefully. i almost couldnt go in the building


Sort of off-topic, but not really - your signature is awesome  I actually have that verse written on the first page of all my notebooks and I look at it when I feel like I'm clamming up. It's a great motivator.


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

Jessycat said:


> Hey
> 
> How's uni going, is it any better for you now?


I left before the Christmas holidays started. Guess that means I've basically thrown my whole future out the window but I don't give a ****, at home I'm surrounded by friends and family and I'd much prefer that to sitting trapped in a cell (my room at uni) for three years with no company.

Stupid of me to even think I had a chance there. My place is either at home forever or stacking shelves at Tesco, barring some miracle. And of course every member of my extended family just assumes I'm going to go back next year as if dropping out is like getting cancer.

Fml seriously. it's worth **** all.


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## Jessycat (Sep 26, 2013)

Droidsteel said:


> I left before the Christmas holidays started. Guess that means I've basically thrown my whole future out the window but I don't give a ****, at home I'm surrounded by friends and family and I'd much prefer that to sitting trapped in a cell (my room at uni) for three years with no company.
> 
> Stupid of me to even think I had a chance there. My place is either at home forever or stacking shelves at Tesco, barring some miracle. And of course every member of my extended family just assumes I'm going to go back next year as if dropping out is like getting cancer.
> 
> Fml seriously. it's worth **** all.


Oh wow, you quit? At least you'll be a lot happier now.

And hey, it doesn't necessarily mean you've thrown your whole future away, uni isn't the only way to get a good job. Loads of people are happy that they chose to leave. It isn't for everyone. Your family'll understand you not going back, I'm sure they just want what's best for you.

Your life is not worth **** all.


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## EddieDee (Jan 13, 2014)

I have to wake up at 8:30 AM from Monday to Friday and walk to school on a 14 C degree weather.  I prefer evening classes, but that's not possible. Grr.


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