# How to ask my crush on a date?



## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

In short: I want to know how to ask someone out. And maybe tips on what to do on a date. The only things I can think of are going to a movie or going out for diner. A 5-course meal isn't really a good idea for someone with sa. I like going to the movies, but isn't that too cliche?
I have absolut NO EXPERIENCE with boys. Noone.

There's a guy I like. He works at the gym where I'm a member. I have had a crush on him for 2.5 years. In that time I never had the guts to say more than ''hi'' to him. I had maybe 5 small, really small, talks with him. Now I heard he quits his job there in two weeks. So if I ever want to know if I have a chance with him, I will have to do sometings in the next two week. 
When I started there, my sa was bad. It was almost at its worst. I didn't had the therapist I have now. I started this therapy over a year ago, and I have accompolist a lot. A year ago I was still afraid to take the bus and I got panicattacks in the bus, now I just take bus. A lot of things go easier, only school and talking to people is still hard for me.

I only see him at the gym, when he's working. Can I just go to him, tell him I like him and ask if he wants to go on a date with me? The thought of standing in front of him and tell him that scares me to death. I can hardly imagine myself doing that.

If he says no I can just say ''ok, bye'' and walk away. But I'm a bit scared I will cry. That I will get a panic attack. If I'm really anxious I sometimes get tears in my eyes. I don't want to cry.

But what if he says ''yes''. There is a really, really small chance, about 0.00001%. What do I do then. Do I ask his number? Do I have to decide what to do on the date? And how do I survive a date without that it's getting uncomfortable akward?

He has Facebook. But I'm afraid to send him a friends request. I'm afraid he will thinks it's weird of wonder why I send him that. I don't think he knows I like him, because I'm always so quiet and never talk to him.

But if I don't tell him, if I don't take a chance, then I will never know and I will go asking myself ''what if'' for a long time. I really like him.
Please help me, give me advice, if you have any.


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## Paragon (Apr 13, 2010)

My first 'real' date was dinner and a movie. Yeah it's cliche, but it worked. People say cinema is bad on a first date due to lack of talking... but I found that these days there's half an hour of bloody trailers anyway, so you can talk through those. Then you have the movie... and afterward you can have a good few hours talking over dinner 

The coffee or cafe thing works too, and is a bit more casual... so you could do that first and then go on a more 'formal' date afterward if it goes well.

If you're really really scared you could just tell him you like talking to him and ask if he wants to swap numbers so you can keep in touch. Text him a bit, then casually ask him if he wants to go see a film that's out.. make an excuse if you like, say you really really wanna see X but all your friends are busy. If he's interested he'll get the hint. In person is probably better but I have done the whole asking someone out by text thing when I was too shy and whether it was lame or not it worked,so.... 

If you ask him out in person and he says yes, make sure to get his number... and if you have some ideas of what to do you can make a suggestion there, or say you'll call him. I would agree with keeping it casual and not declaring it as a date, he'll get it anyway.


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## Donnie in the Dark (Mar 15, 2011)

I think the news that he is leaving soon gives you the perfect excuse to initiate a conversation with him, you can ask him if he is leaving, then what he is doing next, talk a bit, and then just go for it and ask if he would like to go for a drink or something. 

Any kind of rejection is better than that feeling of cowardice, and regret of never taking the chance.
Best of luck.


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

if a girl approach a guy he probably already know what she wants, so it all depend on if he finds you attractive, not that complicated


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

Thanks for replying and giving advice. I will go to the gym a few times this week, so I hope he's there then. And I really hope I got the guts to ask him.


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## DGenerationX (May 21, 2012)

Donnie in the Dark said:


> Any kind of rejection is better than that feeling of cowardice, and regret of never taking the chance.


this


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

Donnie in the Dark said:


> I think the news that he is leaving soon gives you the perfect excuse to initiate a conversation with him, you can ask him if he is leaving, then what he is doing next, talk a bit, and then just go for it and ask if he would like to go for a drink or something.
> 
> Any kind of rejection is better than that feeling of cowardice, and regret of never taking the chance.
> Best of luck.


this is fantastic advice


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## Parcius (Jun 3, 2012)

You: *walks by him as you are about to leave*
You: Hello... What was your name again? (to not seem stalkerish) Jar... Jamie?
Him: Hi! It's James actually  *laughs*
You: Oh! *giggles* So I heard you're quitting your job here, that's too bad. What are you going to do next?
Him: I've gotten a job as a sports coach where I will get more time to focus on my hobbies like biking, travelling, movies...
You: You like movies? Cool! Seen any good movies lately?
Him: Blablablabla *list of movies* and I've been wanting to see The Hobbit but I haven't got anyone to see it with. *hint hint*
You: Blablabla those movies are great. I haven't seen The Hobbit yet either, but I really want to see it! Hey, would you like to come with me to the movies this friday?
Him: Sure! I would love to. What's your number?
*trades numbers, accidentally touches his arm*
Him: See you on friday then  
You: Alright, see you!


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

Parcius said:


> You: *walks by him as you are about to leave*
> You: Hello... What was your name again? (to not seem stalkerish) Jar... Jamie?
> Him: Hi! It's James actually  *laughs*
> You: Oh! *giggles* So I heard you're quitting your job here, that's too bad. What are you going to do next?
> ...


That baby XD If only conversations could be scripted.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

DaveCan said:


> Any progress or chance to see him yet GE?


I saw him at the gym today. First he kept talking to some other people. I was with my mom and she was next to me on the threadmile when he came to us. My mom talks so easily and I was so nervous. I didn't say a lot. The reason he quit his job because he is fired. The reason he got is because he wouldn't be social enough. That couldn't be right. In the past 2,5 years I always see him talking to people, asking how they are. He us always so nice. Now there aren't any hot men at the gym anymore. Boring.

But no progress yet.  I get so nervous when I see him. My mind goes blank. At home I can be every energetic and I can talk a lot of nonsense. But with other people I'm so quiet. He only work this tuesday and Wednesday.
Maybe I should send him a friend request on Facebook. Maybe that's easier. But even send him a request I find that scary.


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## Paragon (Apr 13, 2010)

Send him the request!! And then maybe he'll talk to you next time you're in. Do it!!!


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

Paragon said:


> Send him the request!! And then maybe he'll talk to you next time you're in. Do it!!!


I send him a friend request &#128561; Scary! I have been afraid to do that for 2 years. Now I finally did it. If he looks at my Facebook he can see I'm not just a strange quiet girl, but much more than that.

Btw; thanks to you all for you advice!


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## Paragon (Apr 13, 2010)

Aww, I hope it goes well


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

Paragon said:


> Aww, I hope it goes well


He accepted, so we are now Facebook friends. First step. Now I'm nervous too see him next week.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

DaveCan said:


> Don't be nervous, you RocK! Now you'll at least get to know him a bit better by looking at his FB, and if it's meant to be then it will happen.. Hope he's a good person and that you both can communicate soon


Thanks &#128516; He's a nice guy. I just wished I wouldn't get so nervous around him. When I see him I forget everything I should do. I look away from him, I'm absolutely not convident and my mind is totally empty. Can't think of anything to say.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

So, he will be working on Wednesday. I don't know what time, so I hope he's there when I am. I have Googled some tips on how to ask a boy out. 

I was thinking to do this after I ended my work-out: walk to him and say: "Hey, could I talk to you alone for a second?" "Hey, so, I was wondering if you'd want to see a movie with me this weekend?"

Would that be a good plan?


These are the tips I Googled:

It's best to ask someone out in person rather than by email, text or crumpled note.
Get him alone. You don't have to be completely alone, but odds are you'll both be more comfortable if you can do the actual asking in a semi-private space.
Don't make a big deal about pouncing on the first available second of alone time. If you're both together in a group, lower your voice to half volume and say, "Hey, could I talk to you alone for a second?" and walk a few paces away.
Get confident. This might be the most intimidating step for some people, but it's important. Exuding confidence when you ask him out will frame both you and the date in an attractive, appealing way. Don't worry, though — there are easy ways to fake it 'til you make it.
Keep your body language under control. Resolve that, despite the butterflies in your stomach, you will stand up straight, keep eye contact, and smile for the whole time that you're doing this. It will help you feel better, and it'll show him that you're fearless and self-assured — both attractive traits.
Have a date in mind. If it's your first time asking this guy out (or asking anyone), you'll be a lot more confident if you invite him to a specific activity.
Spit it out! Think of it like ripping off a band-aid: it's better if you just get it over with. Stay as calm and casual as you can, and ask in a simple sentence. Here are a few ways you could phrase it (filling in your own details, of course):
"Are you busy on Saturday night?"
"If you're free, I'd really like to go out with you on Friday."
"Hey, so, I was wondering if you'd want to see a movie with me this weekend?"
Accept the answer with grace. Try to be mentally prepared for his answer to go either way. If he's interested, great! If not, resolve that it won't ruin your day and you'll move on.
If he says no: Take it with a smile. Say something like, "No worries, let me know if you change your mind. See you around," and walk (don't run) away calmly. Rejection hurts, but try not to harbor resentment or anger toward him. He may be cursing himself a few hours later but it's how you respond that will determine whether or not he plucks up the courage to make it up to you.
If he says yes: Mission accomplished! Take a few minutes to go over details (like what time, where, who will pick up whom, and so on). Before you part ways, let him know you're really excited about the date and looking forward to it.

Smiling will be interpreted as confidence. Looking down and muttering will just make you seem uninterested or not very date-worthy.

Remember, you have nothing to be nervous about. Guys typically love to be asked out! Since guys are traditionally expected to ask, it takes the pressure off and makes things easier for him.

You may be scared,but don't act totally weird or you might scare him away, and always be confident!

It's much easier for guys to find a flowery way to say "no" if there is a layer of technology involved. The act of asking a guy out in person connotes a level of confidence that the answer will be “yes” – why else would you feel like you could make yourself vulnerable to a real-time reaction?


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

DaveCan said:


> You'll do fine, and try not to over analyse it too much and just let it flow out at the time.. Personally I would suggest to ask to go for a beverage like tea/coffee or ask him to lunch rather than a movie.. At the movies you really cannot communicate at all, that's more like a second date idea if the lunch or coffee date goes well.. Wishing you good luck for Wednesday!


I know, I'm over analyzing it way too much. I just have no experience with boys.
I'm not sure what to ask, a movie or lunch. A movie sounds easier because I'm really shy and it takes some time too feel at ease. Maybe a drink and then a movie?


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Talk to him briefly, ask if he'd like to hang out sometime (or do something [namely, a specific thing]), then ask for his number and tell him you'll text or call him.

The sooner you realize dating is full of a rejection and a NORMAL part of dating the better


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## Daveyboy (Jan 13, 2013)

DaveCan said:


> You'll do fine, and try not to over analyse it too much and just let it flow out at the time.. Personally I would suggest to ask to go for a beverage like tea/coffee or ask him to lunch rather than a movie.. At the movies you really cannot communicate at all, that's more like a second date idea if the lunch or coffee date goes well.. Wishing you good luck for Wednesday!


^^Do this. A movie is not a good first date. Make it easy, either coffee or maybe stop for a smoothie/drink after he gets off work.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

Thanks for your advice.

There is a big chance I will get rejected, but if he does want to di something with me I need to have a plan. I thought about bowling. Just sitting across eachother and having a drink is maybe a little too hard for me? What I have learned it past therapies is that I'm more ar ease during activities and show more of me during that. With bowling you can talk to eachother and have some fun.

So, now I only need to ask him this Wednesday (hope he's there when I am) and hope he says yes. &#55356;&#57152;


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## Mr Grey (Jan 15, 2013)

here's a simple method:

1) Walk to crush.
2) Tell crush "Would you like to go out on a date with me?"

if crush says no, method ends here. if crush ask details like "To where, on what day, at what time", proceed to step #3

3) Tell crush "I duno, I was to nervous about asking you out and I forgot the part of actually planning out the date..."

4) ??????

5) Profit


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## Mr Grey (Jan 15, 2013)

PS: I like shooting range dates but I don't think is a good a idea to show up at girl's house for the first time, loaded with all kinds of weaponry.


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## vanishingpt (Mar 9, 2012)

Ahh I am so excited for you! LOL. I hope things turn out well for you, keep us posted!

And hey even if he says no, at least you got the experience of trying  best of luck.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

I have been nervous about this for days. Getting rejected isn't even the scariest thing. The asking is so scaring. I have never done something like this.

I hope he will be there, otherwise I have been this anxious for nothing.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

Mr Grey said:


> PS: I like shooting range dates but I don't think is a good a idea to show up at girl's house for the first time, loaded with all kinds of weaponry.


That sounds like a fun idea, but I don't think it's that easy to do in my country. Here you aren't even allowed to keep a gun. It's very strict here.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

He said yes! I can hardly believe it. I ask him and he said yes! OMG!

I have been nervous about it all day and yesterday too. When we arrived at the gym there were only a few people, but soon it became busier. There were a bunch of guys doing weightlifting and there were talking and laughing. And HE was also talking to then and being all confident and social. That made me even more anxious, because I'm the complete opposite. I waited untill my mom was finished. When she went to the changingroom, I went to HIM. I ask him if I could ask him something. He said yes. I asked if we could be somewhere calmer. Then I just looked ar him and said: I like you, would you want to go out with me?". Then he looked away for a second, like he had to think. (Maybe he was shocked, since I'm always so quiet around him) Then he said yes, that would be fun. Let speak on Facebook and then we can go out for a drink. I smiled and said: fun. Then I went away and ge went back to work.

It went something like that. I was so nervous. I had never ask someone out. I never told a guy I liked him. I almost can't believe I really did this. And that he said yes.
I'm all shaky now. I have so many feelings right now. My heart goes crazy! It so hard to believe this. 

But now I have to go out with him. That will be very anxious for me. If he said no, then I would feel miserabele, but that is it. I would be alone in self pity. Now I have to go out with him and be social. I really want this, but it will be nervewrecking. I have never been on a date. I never had a boyfriend.

I still can't believe I did it. Wow!


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

DaveCan said:


> Good luck today GE! This will be so cool to see if you were able to ask him and find out his response, either way you still Rock for trying! Positive reinforcement vibes being sent out to you from Canada, you go girl!


Thank you! Those vibes helped, he said yes!


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

I'm happy he said yes, but I also can't stop thinking that he just said yes out of pity or something. Just one date and that's it. Then he will never have go see me again.
I don't know. Stupid insecurities


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## startspreading (Jan 4, 2012)

Don't feel insecure, girl, and don't try to a self sabotage with these thoughts! I know this must be difficult, and it's normal to get nervous myselfnover went on a date), but just try to have fun.:clap


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## stookified (Sep 15, 2012)

Good job green eyes!!! So happy for you and thanks for the tip yesterday  not to be a pooper, now the real challenge starts  you will he fine just try to be easy going and remeber to laugh at his jokes even if they are not hilarious. This always me when going out. Good luck


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

startspreading said:


> Don't feel insecure, girl, and don't try to a self sabotage with these thoughts! I know this must be difficult, and it's normal to get nervous myselfnover went on a date), but just try to have fun.:clap


It us diffucult. First I was very happy that he said yes, but now I feel so insecure. I'm afraid he only said yes because he felt pity me. It makes me sad. I need to stop thinking like that. I often do that. It doesn't help me.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

stookified said:


> Good job green eyes!!! So happy for you and thanks for the tip yesterday  not to be a pooper, now the real challenge starts  you will he fine just try to be easy going and remeber to laugh at his jokes even if they are not hilarious. This always me when going out. Good luck


Thank you. Now the date. That will be a big challange. My first date. Luckely he's very social and a easy talker.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

So, he said we would discuss details over Facebook. But do I have to send the first message or he. Because I have no idea what to write. The gym closed a hour ago. So he should be home by now. Should I wait for him to message me? Should I send a message? Should I wait to tomorrow? (It's now 11:15 PM) I don't want to look to desperate or pushy.
This dating stuff is nervewrecking.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

Thank you for your advice.

It's 3:30 AM. Woke up again in the middle of the night. Still no message from him. So I suppose I should send him one. But I'm so afraid he just agreed for some other reason than that he would like to know me. Otherwise he would have already send me something? Wouldn't he?


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

He send me a message: hey *name* I really like it that you asked me out! And then a blushing smiley.

I made over analysed it all. I think I'm too negative about myself. I always think I'm not good enough for anyone or anything.
I keep posting everything here, because I have no one else to tell this. No good friends. Only my therapist, I will see her tomorrow. She will be very surprised I did this.

Now, what do I write back. Sending messages and emailadress always takes ages because it's never good enough.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

DaveCan said:


> It depends, maybe he is just as nervous as you are too? I would just message him and say it was nice to talk with him at the gym, and suggest a time and a place to meet and take it from there


Maybe. I doesn't really seem like a guy who would be nervous. But then most guys don't show their feelings easily and just play it cool.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

Finally send him a message back. Anxiety 

I really appriciate your advice/feedback. I have no experience with guys and dating, so all advice is welcome.

It's also a good lesson for me. I can do more than I thought. If I can do something as scary as this, I should be able to do other things too. I didn't let my anxiety stop me.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

He already message me back. Anxiety is so high. So close to a panic attack. I'm glad I have therapy tomorrow. I hope she can help me, give me tips on how to stay calm. This is all so new to me.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

I have a date. My first one ever. Next Friday. We will go bowling and after that something to eat. I really hope it's not a pity date. I can't get it out of my head that he just said yes because he didn't want to hurt me.


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## cautious (Jun 1, 2012)

I'm so excited for you Green Eyes! :clap

Fingers crossed that your date goes well and that it's the start of a new relationship!


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## Parcius (Jun 3, 2012)

Aww, I'm so happy for youuu.  And no, it's not a pity date. It sounds like he's interested in you too! Let us know how it went.  We are all cheering for you!


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

Thank you 

I had therapy and she said the same as you guys. That it's not a pity date, because then he wouldn't text me first. 

I'm really looking forward to the date. I wish it was Friday already. I'm a bit nervous but I think the real nerves will come on Thursday. I'm a bit afraid about the talking. Everytime I have seen him I got so nervous and said nothing to him. I don't want that to happen on our date. I want to have fun, I want him to have fun and I want to get to know him better.

I will tell here how it went after the date is over.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

Tomorrow! I'm excited, but also anxious. My first date ever!


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## AvBaSoT (Feb 10, 2013)

How to ask someone out you ask? Simple


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## vanishingpt (Mar 9, 2012)

Good luck on your date with this guy  so excited for you again!


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

Thank you guys!

I'm on my way. I'm so nervous. Really really nervous. I have never done something with a guy. I do have one guy friend, with who I sometimes go to the movies. I should act like when I'm with him. But it's so hard. I feel so nervous. And a little bit sick. I want to en away, that's my first reaction. But that would be so mean. And I don't really want that, that's because of the anxiety.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

It was a disaster.  I wish I could read his mind. There will probably be no second date. I felt so nervous the whole time. First we went bowling. It was fun, I won  but so quiet. He paid, which was very nice of him. After that we ate ar cinnabon. Akward. I was so quiet. I tried to talk more but my mind was so blanc. I couldn't be funny like I can be with my parents or my two friends. He was just his relax funny self. He paid again, I wanted do do that, but he said no I will pay.
After that we went for a short walk. The weather was nice. He talked a bit, ask me some questions. I tried to relax but I kept feeling so nervous. I felt so akward. 
He brought me to the bus, he looked which one I should have and he waited until my bus went off.
Now I'm on my way home. I feel sad because there won't be another date. I really like him. Even more now. I just want to hug him and kiss him. 
Maybe I should just feel ok about how it went. It was my first date ever. I don't hang out with guys. I have one guy friend. He's totally different than my crush. But with him I first was how I was today with my crush. But now I just feel relax with my friend. At this time I just can't do it better. In the future I will, at least I hope that it will. I just need to be more confident and socialize more with other people.
But still, I feel sad that he and me won't become we


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## homsar (Dec 8, 2011)

I thought I'd posted on this thread this morning, I guess I forgot to hit send.

I just wanted to chip in and say well done, I'm super-impressed by what you've managed to do and I'm delighted that he said yes.

I was wondering, and I hope you haven't covered this and I've missed it, had you spoken to him much/at all before you went up and asked him out? Had you had any hints at all from him that there might be something going on and it might be worth your while? If not, that's amazingly brave of you. It still is, even if so, but I thought I'd ask.

Very best of luck tonight!


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## homsar (Dec 8, 2011)

Oh no, that was pretty rotten timing on my part wasn't it? Obviously I hadn't seen what you'd written before I posted.

I'm sorry you felt things didn't go well, but you don't know for sure it was a complete disaster. Perhaps you could send a little message telling him that you had fun but you were nervous. I think that's important because shyness and quietness can very easily be misread, and he might think you're less interested in him than you are.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

homsar said:


> I thought I'd posted on this thread this morning, I guess I forgot to hit send.
> 
> I just wanted to chip in and say well done, I'm super-impressed by what you've managed to do and I'm delighted that he said yes.
> 
> ...


Thank you  He worked at the gym and he sometimes came to me to ask how it went. But I always got so nervous and I didn't say much back. I had added him on Facebook before I ask him on a date. I had no idea what he think of me. I still don't know what he thinks of me. But after more than two years of having a crush on him I wanted to know if we could be something. I thought a lot about it and finally I ask him out.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

homsar said:


> Oh no, that was pretty rotten timing on my part wasn't it? Obviously I hadn't seen what you'd written before I posted.
> 
> I'm sorry you felt things didn't go well, but you don't know for sure it was a complete disaster. Perhaps you could send a little message telling him that you had fun but you were nervous. I think that's important because shyness and quietness can very easily be misread, and he might think you're less interested in him than you are.


Maybe I exaggerate it a bit. It just that I didn't say a lot. I was so nervous, and I couldn't be me. The anxiety was too much. I think he know I'm shy. He has often seen me at the gym, so I'm sure he knows.

I do wonder if it was a pity date. He did pay everything, while he didn't had to do that. After the bowling he ask me what I wanted to do. He said I could say how the day went. I could decide what we would do and when it was over. It felt like he was just doing a good deed; going on a date with a sad akward girl who will never get a guy.


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## Thix (Jul 14, 2012)

I just found this thread, so I have a lot of catching up to do. First of all, I'm so freakin' proud of you! It's a really big deal that you were able to ask him out in the first place. You should take some time to acknowledge how awesome you are for working up the courage to do it.

You probably know this already, but you're worrying way too much. Instead of sitting around feeling miserable about how bad you _think_ it went, send him a text or a facebook message or something telling him you really did have a good time, it's just really hard for you to show it because you're so shy. Tell him you weren't happy with your performance on the date, so you'll have to try it again. :wink


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## AvBaSoT (Feb 10, 2013)

Good job! At least it was a good learning experience for future dates. Look at it that way.

Next time, just ask him questions - what he likes to do for fun, music he likes, movies, TV, etc. Guys like it when girls show interest and that's also how you get to know someone. Obviously you can't make it like an interview where you just bombard him with questions but you get the idea.

Keep it up! The more dates you go on, the more confidence you will get! And then its just an upward cycle of confidence!


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## edhoo (Feb 15, 2011)

Green Eyes said:


> It was a disaster.  I wish I could read his mind. There will probably be no second date. I felt so nervous the whole time. First we went bowling. It was fun, I won  but so quiet. He paid, which was very nice of him. After that we ate ar cinnabon. Akward. I was so quiet. I tried to talk more but my mind was so blanc. I couldn't be funny like I can be with my parents or my two friends. He was just his relax funny self. He paid again, I wanted do do that, but he said no I will pay.
> After that we went for a short walk. The weather was nice. He talked a bit, ask me some questions. I tried to relax but I kept feeling so nervous. I felt so akward.
> He brought me to the bus, he looked which one I should have and he waited until my bus went off.
> Now I'm on my way home. I feel sad because there won't be another date. I really like him. Even more now. I just want to hug him and kiss him.
> ...


Trust me, that is not a disaster! It's understandable that you were nervous, it was your first date after all. Just talk to him and ask him to do something again. If he says yes, then great! Just try not to put so much pressure on yourself. And even if he does say no, so what? You got to go on a date with someone you had a crush on, not everyone can say that. You should be proud!


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

Thank you for your support/advice.

I will send him a message tonight to thank him and to tell him I had a nice time. Woul it be ok to finish that message with a x? With girls it's easy to do that, but I don't know with boys...?


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## lzzy (Nov 28, 2012)

Green Eyes said:


> Thank you for your support/advice.
> 
> I will send him a message tonight to thank him and to tell him I had a nice time. Woul it be ok to finish that message with a x?


Ofcourse!  
You seem like a nice girl and from what I read about your crush he seems like a nice guy, I'd be surprised if there *wouldn't* be a second date!


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

DaveCan said:


> I read your other posts since your date, and the posts of support and great advice from all the others that have replied to you here since then.. I think you did very well Green Eyes and you're just over thinking it all.. You were nervous yes, but that's okay  He may have been just as nervous who knows? I would really like you to drop this whole idea of the pity date, you should not think of yourself that way..
> 
> I'm glad to read how he behaved an acted, like a perfect gentlemen if you ask me.. He offered to pay, treated you well, and let you know that you were basically in charge of how the date went by saying when it was over.. Sounds like a stand up guy so far that was probably nervous too, maybe he also doesn't have a lot of dating experience, who knows? He could have totally taken you asking him out in a different way, and been single focused on getting you back to his place thinking he's going to get some and made the date more along those lines, but didn't.. He showed you respect and I bet he likes you
> 
> You did very well, I think there will be a second date in your future :clap


Thank you for reading my posts and giving my support. It really helped me 

He was very nice. He does have three younger sisters, so maybe he knows he should treat girl nice. During the date he put his arm a few times around me, just short, sort if playfull. That felt nice. I really hope there will be a second date.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

DaveCan said:


> ^
> I agree.. And you know what? If you really like him, feel respected, and cannot get him off your mind, just go for it.. Send a nice message, simple and sweet, add the x, and let things happen as they may from there..
> 
> You really need to understand how awesome you did! None of this would have ever happened had you not made the effort at the gym that day to ask him.. This is the same thing with most everything in life, career, friends etc.. When you want something you need to just go for it, and you did
> ...


Giving advice to others isn't that gard, but to take your own advice too... I have that too. Things are going better. Slowly, but at least I'm moving forward.

I send him a message. So, if he likes me too, I hope he will ask me out.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

Yesterday I sent him a message. He sent one back today. He wrote: "I'm glad you liked it!! I had fun too!! X"

I hope he will ask me on another date


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## homsar (Dec 8, 2011)

Green Eyes said:


> Yesterday I sent him a message. He sent one back today. He wrote: "I'm glad you liked it!! I had fun too!! X"
> 
> I hope he will ask me on another date


That's great news, I'm glad that you're feeling positive again, I'm sure he will!


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## Emerald3 (Sep 17, 2009)

Like many of people before, I want to say you have a lot of courage to ask the guy & go on a date. It sounds perfectly fine, and I'm guessing that first dates are generally nervous times for both people. Don't think it was a diaster at all, from reading about it, it sounds like you had a perfectly good successful time. 

He sounds a gentleman, and some guys do like to offer to pay/look after a girl. This also shows he's a decent man and not just after a quick thing. You said he was asking questions about you, this means he wants to get to know you further. 

And you both enjoyed each others company, he wanted to be around you. He also walked you to your bus, made sure you were okay until he left. 

Plus when you sent a message saying how you enjoyed the date, he agreed. 

These are all GOOD signs, and I would not be suprised if you met up again sometime this week 



(I just have to summon up the courage to do the same ;with my crush! Liked him for over a year but he's a work colleague eek!)


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## dave76 (Jan 4, 2010)

Thank you for posting and sharing your experience, I wish I had your courage


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

Thanks for all your feedback. I still have doubts.

He still hasn't ask me on a second date. 
I have Googled a bit about how you can know if a guy likes you. During the date there were many signals that he might like me.
He was there on time, he asked if I wanted a drink, he paid, he looked at me, smiled, laughed, made jokes, asked me questions, told things about himself, he put his arm around me a few times, I could decide what to do and when it would end, he said had enough time, he didn't played with his phone or looked at clocks, he walked me to the bus and waited with me until I was gone. 
The day after I sent him a message to thank him and tell him I had fun. The day after I got a message back that he was glad I had fun and that he had fun too. I ended my message with X and he did too.
But since then I haven't heard anything from him. He hasn't ask for my number and he hasn't ask me on a second date.
I was very shy around him. The date went on for about 2 hours. I thought that was enough for a first date. I was nervous. Maybe that made him doubt whether I still like him. Or maybe he doesn't want to come over as pushy or he wants me to take initiative, because I'm shy and he doesn't want to do things I don't want?
He has Twitter, I don't but I check his Twitter sometimes (by sometimes I mean several times a day. Bad, I know).
Yesterday he wrote: "Give me a chance and I will let you see how I will love you!!"
I don't know who he means with that. Why do people write things on Facebook and Twitter that are obvious about a certain person but that don't want to say about who. Frustrating!
I want to go out with him again, but I'm afraid to be the one to ask him again. I already took a risk at getting rejected when I asked him out the first time. I hoped by asking him out I would get to know if he likes me or not. So I could go on with my life and not keep wondering.
But now I still don't know. I just want to know if I have a chance with him or not. I wanted to wait till Friday and if I still haven't heard by then... I'm not sure what to do.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

Emerald3 said:


> (I just have to summon up the courage to do the same ;with my crush! Liked him for over a year but he's a work colleague eek!)


I have had a crush on him for over two years before I had the courage to ask him out. It's hard if you work with him, because if he rejects you, you still have to work with him. My crush works at the gym I go to. If he would rejects me, I didn't know if I could still face him. If it would make my anxiety worse.


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## misspeachy (Aug 11, 2011)

This seems like a success story in the making, you've come so far and although you may not realise it I'm sure you've grown in confidence in many ways! Well done to you girly, for being so brave and achieving such positive results.

Why don't you ask him on a second date? or you could even just start talking to him more at the gym?. The worst that could happen is that he'd say no and you'd end this positive experience on a bit of a downer, but still it will give you clarity that he isn't the right person for you.

I think if you are visibly nervous, it will make a guy think that you REALLY like him. So if you were maybe he thinks the same? I'm sure that he's got the jist that you like him, he knows how you are at work and must realise that you are just that way because you like him.

Remember it's not the end of the world if things don't go so well this time and really really well done for being so strong and brave, you'll go far and next time you'll be ready to accept somebody who's even better for you than he could ever be, if he doesn't say yes.

P.S how long after your date did he write "Give me a chance and I will let you see how I will love you!!" on his twitter?


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

misspeachy said:


> P.S how long after your date did he write "Give me a chance and I will let you see how I will love you!!" on his twitter?


4 days after the date.


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## Donnie in the Dark (Mar 15, 2011)

I think you should try to take the initiative, show that you want to spend time with him.


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## Emerald3 (Sep 17, 2009)

Donnie in the Dark said:


> I think you should try to take the initiative, show that you want to spend time with him.


I agree, maybe he's waiting for you to take the next move. And suggest meeting up again?


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## Bunghole7 (Mar 12, 2013)

You know, it's always hard for people to imagine being in other peoples situation espeacilly if you don't really know that person
so my advice does not have to be a good idea
but I think the most important thing is that you stay in contact and chat ...
I think the more you know him and let him know you, the easier it will be for you to be yourself and your anxiety will subside


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

Thanks! You guys are right. If I want to know if he likes me, I have to ask him out again. Maybe he waits for me to ask him. Or not. But I won't know untill I ask him.
Would the movies be a good idea for a second date? There are actually a few movies I want to see. Mama (horror), Silver Linings Playbook and Side Affects. But maybe the last two aren't such a good idea, because it's drama and about psychological problems and such.

So, how to ask him?

Hey! I really had fun with you last Friday. I would like it to hang out with you again. If you like that too?

Hey! I really had fun with you last Friday. Would you like to go to the movies with me this weekend?


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

Thanks. I sent him a message. Nervous for the answer! Really really nervous!

I'm new to this dating stuff, that's why I keep posting questions. Most things I do know, but I'm just so insecure and I still need some confirmation that what I do is ok.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

He wants to go on another date with me! I'm happy and surprised. Most people don't make contact with me again because I'm usually so quiet at the first meeting.

He can't go this weekend due family things, so I suggested another date. Can't do it this week because I have test week at school, so I have to learn. But maybe that weekend?


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

He can't go this weekend and I can't do something in the week because I'm busy with school things and I really need to concentrate on that. It will be Friday next week.


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## Donnie in the Dark (Mar 15, 2011)

Huge well done to you for being assertive and taking positive action! Sometimes that can be so hard, as I know TOO WELL!
Hope it goes great.


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## HilarityEnsues (Oct 4, 2012)

Don't think about it so much, just talk to him/her casually and let things flow naturally. Try to gauge how she reacts to your conversations. You'll know if she likes you by the way she talks and the look in her eyes, when you feel the time is right ask her if she would like to go out for coffee or lunch and you can know him/her better there.


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## misspeachy (Aug 11, 2011)

Awesome! 
See there is no need to doubt yourself and think worthless thoughts!


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

Thank you  He wouldn't go out with me a second time if he wouldn't like me, right. The only things that causes me to doubt, is that he doesn't take any initative. But he could have any reason for that. 
I will see how it goes next week.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

DaveCan said:


> I know I wouldn't go out with a woman for a second meet/date if I didn't like her or at least enjoy her friendship and company.. Him not taking the initiative could mean he's shy or not very experienced with women, or he may sort of already be seeing someone maybe? You never know nowadays, so I'd make a plan to sit and chat and get to know him a bit better, by asking and answering questions rather than a movie date where you cannot talk...
> 
> Of course we are from two very different generations, so some of my advice may not be fitting to the online generation lol.. Still I think a good time spent face to face in person chatting and having real interaction beats building things up online any day..
> 
> Meet, chat, ask questions about him and see from there


He isn't shy. Maybe he's also seeing someone else. I hope not, but he's allowed to, we don't have anything.

I also have not really an idea what my generation does on dates and such. A lot go clubbing but I don't really like that.
We will go for a drink and then see a movie. I think that's better for me. Then I don't have to sit for hours and talk, that makes me so nervous. Maybe some other time, if there will be.

So, second date tonight. Bit nervous.


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## renegade disaster (Jul 28, 2009)

you're really brave to do this and I applaud you for making the first move on him, that must have been really difficult especially for someone with sa, let alone for a woman to approach a man. I hope your date went well.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

Date didn't went that well. We ate something and walk around a bit before we went to see a movie. I was so nervous. I wanted to say things but I was so scared. After the movie we had to take the subway to the busses. We had to wait for our bus. It was cold, so we went for a drink. It was so akward. We just sat there and didn't say much. I was SO nervous. I really like him, but when I'm with him I get so nervous. The purpose of these dates was that he also get to know me better. But I was so quiet. Now he still didn't really get to know me better.
I really want to see him again, but I don't know if he wants that. Maybe he thinks I don't like him, because I was quieter than on the first date. But I can't get myself to calm down when I'm with him.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

So, I sent him a message. Because I was so quiet, he might think I didn't like him. And I just want to know if I gave a chance or not. So I wrote him that I liked our date, but that I was so quiet because I was nervous because I like him.
No reaction. I know he has read it because he was online. No reaction is also a reaction. So now I know.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

DaveCan said:


> Didn't he ask questions to try and get to know you better? For me I find things easy one on one, it's groups that mess me up lol.. Sounds like maybe you just need to ask him a few questions to try and get to know him better, and he should be doing the same.. Hey at least you got out and were together
> 
> If it's meant to be then it will, and sounds like he may not be a big conversationalist either, which probably isn't making things easier for you?
> 
> Hope he takes the initiative and calls or messages you this time too..


On the first date he did ask questions and so did I. This time he also asked questions. And he told me things. But when we went for a drink after the movie, we both were quiet.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

I wish he would reply on my message. Even if it's a rejection. I don't get it. The other times he always replied within a few minutes, even if I didn't replied right back. He went on two dates with me. He paid even when I offered to pay. And now that I sent him a message saying I like him, he just ignores me. Rude!


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

my teeth are crooked so I wouldn't even approach a girl to ask her out


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

Green Eyes said:


> I wish he would reply on my message. Even if it's a rejection. I don't get it. The other times he always replied within a few minutes, even if I didn't replied right back. He went on two dates with me. He paid even when I offered to pay*. And now that I sent him a message saying I like him, he just ignores me. Rude!*


*
*

that's probably why he's taking long to respond. could have scared him off...i told a girl once and she wasn't flattered, more weirded out.


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## renegade disaster (Jul 28, 2009)

sorry to hear he hasn't got back to you and the date didn't go as well as expected. I know what its like with texting, I always find it really nerve wracking and start going over loads of things in my head why someone hasn't got back if things aren't consistent and there is a change. hope he does eventually reply to you.


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## Bunghole7 (Mar 12, 2013)

this is really like an interactive book here
please keep us up to date
sorry for being so ... entertainment-horny ;(


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

I got a message back. 30 hours after I sent him one. He wrote: "glad you liked it!! Sorry fir the late reaction, but I'm sick on bed...but I liked it too! X"
Not sure what to do with it. He did read it imediataly. I don't expect to feel for me what I feel for him. For that he would first have to know me better. That's what the second date was for. But because I was so nervous, I was too afraid to show much of me. I hoped he would ask me on a date, if he is still interested. I already ask him twice. Should I send something or just wait?


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

DaveCan said:


> You could send a email or call him and sort of lightly joke about "okay I took the initiative and asked you out the first two times now it's your turn haha, where ya taking me? lol  "
> 
> How does that idea sound but in your own words? Also maybe there is something you could do to ease the nervousness a bit before the date, meditate if that's your thing, breath, take a med if you have any for anxiety etc, just be you it seems to be working not too bad so far... I mean it hasn't been a complete disaster or anything.


That's sounds like a very good idea. It's sounds funny 
It's just that I have no idea where I stand with him. I asked him out twice and told him I like him. He doesn't rejects me, but also doesn't ask me out. Maybe that last message was a kind rejection? He said he liked it too, but he didn't ask me out. 
The dates weren't a complete disaster. The only bad thing was that I was so quiet on the second date.

Btw; we talk through Facebook messages. He hasn't asked for my number. Should I put it in the message?


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

DaveCan said:


> Sure, just include your phone number with the message where you say in a funny way that you asked him out two times, now it's his turn to make some awesome plans etc lol..


Thanks for all your advice you have given me. I really appreciate it.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

I sent him the message. I'm nervous. It's so not me. Well, actually it is, but because my of my anxiety I have only thought about doing things like this. It's a bit exposer.
I have no idea how he will react. Or what he thinks. It's the fourth time I'm exposing myself to rejected. He hasn't reject me so far, but... I have no idea what he thinks of me.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

DaveCan said:


> Teeth can be fixed Mobius, and I'm sure there are women that find you handsome, heck at least you still got hair! lol
> 
> GE just be patient maybe he couldn't respond right away?


what do you mean at least you got hair? that I'm experiencing hair loss and should be glad I'm not bald yet or that other people or you might not have hair? cause I'm not experiencing hairloss, I keep my hair short, easier to comb, looks neater, etc..


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

He sent me a message and his number. But this weekend we both have plans already. So, it's now up to him. Now he has to be the one to contact me first and to suggest a date.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

Green Eyes said:


> I wish he would reply on my message. Even if it's a rejection. I don't get it. The other times he always replied within a few minutes, even if I didn't replied right back. He went on two dates with me. He paid even when I offered to pay. And now that I sent him a message saying I like him, he just ignores me. Rude!


Could be insecurity caused by your assertive "I like you". He might be too scared to or unsure at this point if he also likes you and so chooses to just ignore than maybe say something he'll regret or say something he doesn't really mean.


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## Emerald3 (Sep 17, 2009)

Green Eyes said:


> He sent me a message and his number. But this weekend we both have plans already. So, it's now up to him. Now he has to be the one to contact me first and to suggest a date.


I feel envious of you, as you has had two dates with this guy and his phone number.

Mine didn't pan out, I asked if we'd go to the cinema just to two of us and he said he wasn't interested. So this is why I really shouldn't crush on anyone. thankfully I'm not working with him for another 4 days, so I won't feel embarassed :afr


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

Emerald3 said:


> I feel envious of you, as you has had two dates with this guy and his phone number.
> 
> Mine didn't pan out, I asked if we'd go to the cinema just to two of us and he said he wasn't interested. So this is why I really shouldn't crush on anyone. thankfully I'm not working with him for another 4 days, so I won't feel embarassed :afr


I just read that. I'm sorry for you. 
This guy is the only one I have ever asked out. But I have had many crushes before, not that big. And none of those liked me. Most guys thought I was weird because I'm so quiet.
I'm still don't know why this guy went out with me, twice. So now we have eachothers number. 3 days ago he sent me that. I'm still waiting for him rivaal me out. I hope he does.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

5 days and still nothing. I sent him my number and wrote "if you are interested" and then he sent me his number. If he wouldn't be interested in me, he wouldn't have text me his, would he? He just wouldn't have to do anything. I don't get it. There were many signals that he might be into me. But he doesn't text me first and he doesn't ask me out.


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## NoHeart (May 5, 2012)

Open your mouth and say ''Hey, wanna go out sometime?''


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

Tomorrow it will be a week since I sent him my number and he sent me his back. I don't know why he did that if he isn't planning to go out with me. If he isn't interested in me, then that was the perfect time to say it ir stop contact.
I feel a bit sad. I really like him. But I don't like that he act like this. I know it happens often, that the guy (or girl) just stop contact like that. But it isn't really nice.
I should just let it go, but feelings...

But yeah, at least now I have a little experience. But I won't ask a guy out again anytime soon.


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## Emerald3 (Sep 17, 2009)

Green Eyes said:


> Tomorrow it will be a week since I sent him my number and he sent me his back. I don't know why he did that if he isn't planning to go out with me. If he isn't interested in me, then that was the perfect time to say it ir stop contact.
> I feel a bit sad. I really like him. But I don't like that he act like this. I know it happens often, that the guy (or girl) just stop contact like that. But it isn't really nice.
> I should just let it go, but feelings...
> 
> But yeah, at least now I have a little experience. But I won't ask a guy out again anytime soon.


I realise this might seem a silly question, but have you texted him, throughout the week? See how he is, or what he's up to as he's left the gym?

He could be wondering the same thing about why hasn't she contacted me?


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

Emerald3 said:


> I realise this might seem a silly question, but have you texted him, throughout the week? See how he is, or what he's up to as he's left the gym?
> 
> He could be wondering the same thing about why hasn't she contacted me?


It isn't a silly question. I haven't texted him. Last week I texted that it's his turn to ask me out since I asked him out twice. And I sent him my number for if he's interested. He wrote back that he already had something that weekend. And then he texted his number and wrote; then you have my number also.
I texted him first after both dates. I feel like it's now his turn. He knows I like him. And I don't want to seem needy or something.


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## Bunghole7 (Mar 12, 2013)

this is not like in the movies ;/


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