# CBT



## Hoppipolla (Apr 11, 2007)

I've seen that a few people have tried cognitive behavioral therapy for their SA and have found it useful.
I was wondering if anyone here could talk to me a bit about it, I mean I've read a few things here and there, but I want someone who's have CBT tell me about it...
Please.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Hi Hoppi

I am in CBT right now for SA and really like it - when an exercise works, the feelings that I get are so good, like a little breakthrough. Its funny because I sometimes giggle to myself in public when one 'clicks'! After a while I am finding that feeling becoming more and more common and overall my SA is beginning to get less.

The idea of CBT is that your thoughts, feelings and behaviours are all linked together. When something happens to you, it is your thoughts about that thing that affects how you are going to feel ("oh no! She gave me a funny look - she must think I'm odd! " ) . These thoughts are barely noticeable and flash through our minds so fast we dont always consciously notice them, but we do feel their horrible effect. So there is a thought attached to, and linked up with, a feeling.

Sometimes, when we have felt bad about things for a long time, our thoughts can become deeply ingrained beliefs ("I am strange and unloveable"), and these deep beliefs subconsciously guide our reactions to the world. CBT aims to break old links between beliefs and emotions by learning new facts about the world and learning to draw different conclusions about what it means.

It does this by a sort of 'detective' process. First we begin to identify the bad thoughts. Then we learn to look for more realistic and helpful alternative ways of thinking about the triggering events ("maybe the look meant nothing, or perhaps she was confused. Sometimes I pull funny faces mid-sentence too. Maybe I did say something she didnt like, but one persons feelings about something I said doesnt mean I'm a terrible person"). Then, CBT gives you ways to find proof in reality of these new alterntatives so that you FEEL them at a gut level. It may sound very simple, but the sudden change in emotions that a simple exercise can bring feels absolutely lovely. 

There are hundreds of techniques within CBT to get these done and the most appropriate ones for you will be set as 'homework'. The paper part of the exercise takes about 3 minutes but the experiment parts can be longer - but more fun! Its one of those things that the more you put into it, the more you get out  There may be some limited social skills practice with the therapist, to give you some experience before you try it for real.

At the beginning the therapist will ask you what you would like to change in yourself and what you would like to be able to do. There will be a little bit of delving into childhood, but this only lasts a session - enough to understand where your 'triggers' are likley to be and understand where some of those bad thoughts might originate from - a bit like a marksman finding their target.

Hope that helps!

Ross


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## Hoppipolla (Apr 11, 2007)

Yeah, I mean, I understand it better now. I have another question though...
I'm quite stubborn and I believe that's a big reason why I don't get better. Do you think the therapist can help me either way? Do you believe CBT could help almost anyone?

Oh, and did you take pills or take pills?


Thanks.


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## CBT Junky (Jun 6, 2007)

Yes it will help you if you are willing to do the exercises and help yourself. Many people cure themselves with CBT and never even see a therapist. In CBT the therapist basically guides and pushes you but if you don't do the exercises the best CBT therapist in the world won't be able to help you. You gotta try and get your feet wet before you dive into it if you are anything like me so even if you start out just doing the thought countering exercise the TEA form from the book by Sam Obitz everyday I think that will turn the light on for you and motivate you to delve further into CBT. I hope you give it a try because it is worth the effort.


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## terra (Feb 12, 2007)

I'm currently going through CBT, and I don't like it at all! I've gone for 8 sessions already, and I haven't made any progress or learned anything of value. I just don't see how CBT is going to help me. I know that my thoughts are irrational, such as that people are not judging me, and if I do make a mistake it is not the end of the world. HOWEVER, my negative thoughts and "what if's" are so strong and persistent that they control me. I can visualize in my mind the scenario that is most likely to occur to me in a social situation (and I know it's not likely to be catastrophic), but my own thoughts about myself that I have internalized are just such a part of me that my reactions and avoidance are almost mechanical-like. 

I don't know if I'm going to continue to go to CBT or not. I'm going to join a SA group at my college, and they meet for 4-5 weeks, so I'm hoping that I'll at least get a chance to talk to others and hopefully make some social connections. I would so love to be friends with someone who has SA! I really believe that it would be very easy for me to open up, emotionally, to someone who is going through the same thing. I really believe that if I had a friend with SA, that my SA would improve dramatically. I wouldn't be as afraid to enter social situations if I was accompanied by another person, even if that person has SA. Right now, what I really need is a friend. I've never had one in my entire life. If only I could be friends with someone else in the same predicament...


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

I think exposure therapy part of CBT is the best and most effective tool in the war against SA.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

I agree with Noca: Terra, you did not mention if you have done experiments in your CBT. The 'thinking' part of it only primes the ground, and you may be able to 'get it' in your head, but not your heart.

The experiments are based in the real world, not in argument or thought. Hopefully your therapst is working towards this. Rather than drop out of something that could be good for you, have a chat with your therapist and ask what the plan is, because you feel it isnt working.

I have been out with socially anxious people and in fact their anxiety just 'proves' to you that the situation is scary. Hopefully if the therapy progresses well, you will feel that you can face the world whether you have a campadre or not. 

Ross


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## SADFighter (May 4, 2007)

*Re: re: CBT*



yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> I agree with Noca: Terra, you did not mention if you have done experiments in your CBT. The 'thinking' part of it only primes the ground, and you may be able to 'get it' in your head, but not your heart.
> 
> The experiments are based in the real world, not in argument or thought. Hopefully your therapst is working towards this. Rather than drop out of something that could be good for you, have a chat with your therapist and ask what the plan is, because you feel it isnt working.
> 
> ...


Yep. The power of acting. By only doing the "C" part of CBT you might be able to change your thinking a little (or more likely, just know of an alternative but not fully believe it to be rational/true) but only until you do things w/these new thought patterns in place that your FEELINGS will change.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Your 'c' bones connected to the ... 'b' bone - and thats how therapeee works biddly dink

Ross


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## CBT Junky (Jun 6, 2007)

I could not agree more. If you are just doing the exercises in your head and not testing them out and growing in each instance you may as well lock yourself up in a room (said for effect not advocating this  The C part is huge but you need to do the B part with it to get the results I know you are craving. Please do not give up and talk to your therapist or find a new one if they don't want to add experiments to the mix for you. :hug


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## Speak Easy (Jun 27, 2006)

Noca said:


> I think exposure therapy part of CBT is the best and most effective tool in the war against SA.


 :agree


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Yep - I call it a psychoanalysis run time environment! :lol


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

I didn't read anything, but I agree with Ross. Hes the CBT man.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

andy1984 said:


> I didn't read anything, but I agree with Ross. Hes the CBT man.


You are a gentleman, sir.

Ross


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## Hoppipolla (Apr 11, 2007)

The only problem now is finding a therapist that does CBT... 

But thanks everyone. I will definitely try to find one.


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## CBT Junky (Jun 6, 2007)

yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> andy1984 said:
> 
> 
> > I didn't read anything, but I agree with Ross. Hes the CBT man.
> ...


Now that's credibility


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## CBT Junky (Jun 6, 2007)

Hi Ross and everyone. Just wanted to let everyone know I'm still doing great and hope that everyone else is also


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## GTI79 (Feb 2, 2004)

I'm already about 6 weeks into my CBT sessions, and I freaking love it. :nw


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## CBT Junky (Jun 6, 2007)

Awesome! If you keep working hard you will get even more benefits soon. I don't post much but let me know how you are doing and if you need any advice but it sounds like you are well on your way :clap


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

CBT Junky said:


> Hi Ross and everyone. Just wanted to let everyone know I'm still doing great and hope that everyone else is also


Hi Junky! Sorry I missed this message. Yeah Im doing good. Finally seeing some good payoff from all the CBT which has fanned out into just about every area of my life imaginable, like little nanobots!

Glad to hear you are doing well too and still posting from time to time. Things sound really hopeful!

Ross


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## CBT Junky (Jun 6, 2007)

yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> [quote="CBT Junky":2po35i6g]Hi Ross and everyone. Just wanted to let everyone know I'm still doing great and hope that everyone else is also


Hi Junky! Sorry I missed this message. Yeah Im doing good. Finally seeing some good payoff from all the CBT which has fanned out into just about every area of my life imaginable, like little nanobots!

Glad to hear you are doing well too and still posting from time to time. Things sound really hopeful!

Ross[/quote:2po35i6g]

Hi Ross,
Good to hear you are doing good and that the CBT is starting to take hold for you too :banana

I'm still doing great, thanks for asking. Let me know how you are doing every now and then too please?

Take care and keep plugging away 

P.S. How's it goin GTI79?


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## shy_chick (Sep 27, 2006)

*Re:*



Noca said:


> I think exposure therapy part of CBT is the best and most effective tool in the war against SA.


What if you are only doing the "B" part?
I've got a few questions, can you make progress if you have other things going on such as job insecurity (this is a huge source of anxiety, including driving to new places, interviews, meeting new people, not having solid plans). I'm being exposed to a lot of terrifying situations, but I'm a nervous wreck and very depressed. I think I suffer from general anxiety with an element of SA. My Dr is keeping me on the same low dose of anti-depressant until I find a proper job.
I'm seeing someone to build my confidence, and was doing great in some interview preparations, but now I'm very depressed and everything is up in the air. She is a CBT therapist by day, but I'm seeing her for more practical feedback on how I come across to others and practising situations. I completed some CBT therapy before which was supposed to equip me with the skills to apply to different situations but now I've just no motivation and I'm very down over the job situation.


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## coyasso (Dec 21, 2003)

What are some resources to do CBT on your own? Are there books out there or workbooks or something? Please, let me know. I'm dying to do this. I see CBT as the only plausible way of actually fixing Social anxiety. I don't know. I went to a few sessions of CBT, but with a right-out-of-grad-school therapist, and I couldn't stand her, because she was so technical and didn't actually listen to me. I didn't feel any connection. I need to be able to trust people. Anyway, any help would be appreciate. Thanks.


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## CBT Junky (Jun 6, 2007)

Shy the B part without the C & T would be really hard imo. You need to have the cognitive counter thoughts while you are in exposures etc to make real progress. Talk to you therapist about helping you with more thought countering exercises like the TEA form. I think that will be helpful to you.


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## CBT Junky (Jun 6, 2007)

coyasso said:


> What are some resources to do CBT on your own? Are there books out there or workbooks or something? Please, let me know. I'm dying to do this. I see CBT as the only plausible way of actually fixing Social anxiety. I don't know. I went to a few sessions of CBT, but with a right-out-of-grad-school therapist, and I couldn't stand her, because she was so technical and didn't actually listen to me. I didn't feel any connection. I need to be able to trust people. Anyway, any help would be appreciate. Thanks.


There are all kinds of good CBT books and workbooks out there that you can do on your own. My advice would be to start slow and build up gradually so you don't get overwhelmed though. Too much all at once is never good and slow and steady wins the race more often. The book I would recommend to start with on CBT is called Been There, Done That? DO THIS! by Sam Obitz. It is a really short book that chronicles the author's fight with anxiety and depression and introduces you to CBT with the most essential thought countering exercises. The only drawback is that it does not go into the exposure therapy but you need to work up to that anyway so it is a good book to start with. I hope this is helpful.


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## coyasso (Dec 21, 2003)

Thanks alot! That's perfect. I assume I can just search "CBT" on Amazon or something when I'm ready for more?


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

These are old posts, but thought Id reply anyway. best books on CBT I;ve found for SA are "Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness" by Gillian Butler, and "Overcoming Shyness and Social Phobia" by donald M Rapee. The latter title is briefer and more to the point.

You might also like to try "When Panic Attacks" by David D Burns.

For depression, "Feeling Good - the New Mood Therapy" by David D Burns is great, as is "Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think" by Greenberger and Padesky.

CBT takes continued application and work, and not a little drive to push yourself on. having said that it only takes 15 minutes a day, so what are you waiting for? 

Best of luck

Ross


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## CBT Junky (Jun 6, 2007)

Another great post Ross, you are the CBT champion :kiss I love your last line about 15-minutes a day but a lot of the time i spend even less now that I have the routine down :yes


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

ops


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## NJexplorer313 (Feb 12, 2008)

This is a very informative post, and I had a couple questions myself.
I am planning on CBT group therapy. The main thing I have been wondering is how will they fit me into a group that has already been going and evolving, and I am just starting? Would everyone and the therapist continue to progress, and carry on with the knowledge they have already learned, or will the therapist work with me one on one starting out? This has me a little confused


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## CBT Junky (Jun 6, 2007)

NJexplorer313 said:


> This is a very informative post, and I had a couple questions myself.
> I am planning on CBT group therapy. The main thing I have been wondering is how will they fit me into a group that has already been going and evolving, and I am just starting? Would everyone and the therapist continue to progress, and carry on with the knowledge they have already learned, or will the therapist work with me one on one starting out? This has me a little confused


That's a good question. I am not aware of CBT groups that are ongoing and admit new members while they are in progress. I guess there are ones like that but all the ones I am familiar with started with a group ranging of 5-15 people for a set length of time usually 12-24 weeks in duration. Did someone tell you about a group that is ongoing and accepting new members? CBT groups are generally devised to get you in and out on your own so I can't imagine an ongoing group that is really CBT based. Sorry I'm not more help but I would try and join one that is forming as opposed to entering one that is already underway :yes


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## CBT Junky (Jun 6, 2007)

Ross great picture of those side effect free anti-depressants in your signature. Did I somehow miss that the other day or did you just add it? I'm tempted to try and steal that image :stu


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

lol. I just ripped a piccy off some website and added the text! If you want I will email you the oic and you can get a photobucket account


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## WhatsThePoint (Feb 6, 2008)

Im going to be starting CBT soon and im scared to death. The only people in the world that know my "life story," so to speak, are my immediate family, and one other person who ive talked to online from this forum. I dont know if ill be able to open up to a random person, face-to-face, that I dont know. Im also scared that I wont be able to follow through with the "exercises" and whatever else they ask you to do. Anyone have any thoughts/opinions that would ease my worries?


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Hi WTP

Going to a therapist the first time is always going to be scary - because you have no idea what to expect and its all new. I felt the same. A good therapist will be like a good buddy. They'll sit you down, offer you a cuppa coffee or whatever. Ask you about you a little, and then your reasons for coming. You'll want to talk about what you fins difficult and your feelings, and they might ask you what you'd like to be different. They may ask you about the past (with CBT this is normally only one or two sessions so that the therapist can get an idea on what direction to take) but if its hard to open up then they will let things go at your pace. You are going there to get help with Social Anxiety, so they are not expecting James Dean to walk through the door. This is a safe place for you where you can let everything out, and in a lot of ways its easier to do this with someone you don;t know as there is no guilt or blame attached. After a few sessions you will feel more comfortable and may be surprised how much you actually talk. I chew my therapists ear off regularly and they get paid to listen to me drivel on ... I love my sessions!  Total honesty is a turbocharger for recovery. It feels scary to do, but three seconds after you will feel great. Overcome that fear and you will be glad you did.

Anyhoo, be as brave as you can - we are all rooting for you and this is the next step in your life. A brand new James is on the way, and this is the first of many steps. Hope you have some decent shoes on


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## CBT Junky (Jun 6, 2007)

James you never reported back? How did it go or is it going? I hope you have been able to stick with it because it will help you get rid of all that useless worrying


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## shyguy32 (Mar 28, 2008)

I couldnt find a therapist in my area that new anything about SA so I ordered some audio tapes. Im hopeful that they work as good as they claim.


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## CBT Junky (Jun 6, 2007)

shyguy32 said:


> I couldnt find a therapist in my area that new anything about SA so I ordered some audio tapes. Im hopeful that they work as good as they claim.


That's too bad but if you do the CBT exercises in the tapes I think you will find success because the work you are assigned to do countering your thoughts and exposures are what are important more than the therapist imo.


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