# Asked My Therapist About Another Patient Of His........Mistake?



## NYR22 (Mar 21, 2005)

So. Basically, after my past couple of therapy sessions, there has been this attractive girl that was the patient after me (saw her in the waiting area). So. Last therapy session, I inquired about this girl to my therapist. Simple asked him if he could set me up with her, LOL, or give her my phone number. He really didn't say much, kind of smiled and said that he really couldn't talk about other patients.

Now, I feel like an idiot and afraid I'm going to feel awkward around him. My therapist is very non-judgmental and I'm sure he will either forget that I asked about her or forgive me about it. Why did I inquire about another patient? What was I thinking? Maybe I'm over reacting. I just hope it doesn't create friction between my therapist and I. It really was just a harmless inquiry, in my opinion.


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## supreme.mugwump (Mar 13, 2009)

I understand how you are feeling, and I find that there isn't much you can do to get rid of that feeling - it just fades with time. You're right, it probably wasn't the best idea to ask about her, BUT, it's OK because you're the client. It would have been much less appropriate for your therapist to give the details. Try not to worry too much! You may find it helps to actually discuss your feelings about this with your therapist.


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## deeds14 (Jul 9, 2009)

You're a guy who saw a pretty girl. Big deal! You're probably not even the first person who's asked about her.
If your therapist thought that there was something wrong with what you said, he would address it with you. If he's not bringing it up, it's because he doesn't think it's a problem.


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## Aleforge (Jul 8, 2009)

No worries, if he likes women he should understand.  That was actually a good idea, but of course with patient confidentiality laws he couldn't spill the beans. Don't feel embarrassed, that was a completely normal thing to do.


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## NYR22 (Mar 21, 2005)

Thank You guys. I'm probably just being a nervous nelly. I'm going to talk about this with my therapist (I'm sure he'll understand) next session and explain to him how I'm not the best at approaching girls and sometimes I sort of look for a 3rd party to help me out or introduce me. Also, I'll touch on the fact that I only had like 1 date in high school and sometimes I'm oddly looking for someone to introduce me to more girls because I feel like I've missed out on so much, want to date a lot now, basically make up for lost time and missed opportunities with girls in the past.


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## deeds14 (Jul 9, 2009)

If that's an issue you wanted to bring up with him anyways, go for it. I'm just saying that you don't have to justify yourself to him. If your only reason for bringing the subject up is to apologize... well, you don't need to! What you did was normal.


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## zaitrancer (Jul 10, 2009)

I don't know if you're looking for advice or just to vent, but why do you feel the need to justify and explain a perfectly normal behaviour to your therapist?

I know social anxiety can distort things, but if it helps you at all this is what I see as an outside observer: You saw a girl you found attractive. Instead of approaching her directly you did a quite normal thing and went to someone you both have in common. The therapist couldn't act on your request for no other reason than that it would have been a breach of confidentiality related to their profession. They are the professional and the ones required to play by the rules of their profession. You as a client aren't the one who is supposed to know what they can and can't do. Your therapist also knows this and doesn't think any less of you as a person. In fact, the therapist probably wishes they would be able to introduce the both of you.

As far as how others perceive what you did, I say "Good for you!" You saw something you liked and went for it. 

I don't know what kind of therapy you are in, but if it's CBT and you feel pressed you must bring it up with your therapist, instead of justifying and explaining what you did, perhaps another approach would be to just be honest with your therapist about how the interaction made you feel. Together you can examine your core beliefs about why it made you feel awkward and like an idiot. Then you can work together to form more realistic beliefs and perceptions. This is what I do with my therapist for each category of situation I have that makes me socially anxious, and it really helps.


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