# MrFlay's personal goals stated in writing for all to see



## MrFlay (Jul 14, 2012)

Hopefully it will help me commit to changing my life when I know you guys have read this and I will have to report back to you how it's going. So here we go...


*Starting small: No more nail biting*
First of all I have decided that I will stop biting my nails. Enough is enough! I've been doing it for as long as I remember and I'm ashamed of this bad habit. I've tried to stop so many times before. I have used nail biting for self-soothing in stressful situations and as stimulation for my nervous system in situations.

I am embarrased to show my hands/nails when handling money and when shaking hands with strangers/friends. I'm also worried what women think whenever I hold their hand(s). It just brings me down.
I'll be wearing tape on my fingertips for at least a couple of days, since I'm not female so fake nails are out of the question.
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*No gaming/gambling/porn/masturbation = more proper exercise
*I've already started this. Currently on day 11 and doing really good. I want to be relying more on exercise to reward my brain with dopamine. I've tried to deprive my brain of dopamine from any source it usually gets it from.

I've been going to an indoor swimming pool 3 times since I started and I've worked out in the gym once. Tomorrow is gym training. I'm counting on adding yoga classes at a later time. Probably after 30 days.

I'm aiming for 60 days in total but might go for 90, if I feel good about it when I reach 60. Hopefully my habits have changed so much by then, that I'll continue to associate exercise with a surge in dopamine levels (nice reward). It will make me actually WANT to go exercise. Awesome!

I'm not fat, but actually rather skinny. I'm aiming for building muscle and gaining weight. I'll be eating more (healthy) food as well.
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*Long term goal: Start taking more initiative in friendships
*I wrote down this goal in my personal journal almost 1 year ago. It's time to commit to it for real! I'm tired of always sitting in the back seat of my friends' cars, metaphorically speaking.

I don't want to wait for them to call me on the telephone or invite me to events. This is what I've realised: _If the people who contact me out of the blue are the only people I consider real friends and I never take initiative to contact my "friends"... That means no one consider ME their real friend._ And that's a real shame.

I'll start by writing a new facebook friend online every day. I'll continue this until I have 3 good conversations going (meaning we write eachother every day for 3-4 days.

Then I will call these 3 friends on the phone - even though phones scare the hell out of me! We will just talk about everyday stuff and nothing in particular. Because we have been writing eachother it hopefully wont be too awkward. When I've done this 1-2 time with each of them, I'll organize a meetup of some sort. Maybe a concert. Maybe I'll invite all 3 of them home to my place for a movie. Maybe something else. Depends on who I end up calling.
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*BONUS: Going for what I really want!
*I want to ask a girl on a date when I find someone I really like. Shouldn't be too hard... Ah, almost convinced myself there. Oh well. I'm not promising much here, but I will promise to keep an eye out 

So, what do you guys think? I think it sounds like a real challenge since I'll be fighting my shyness all the time, but it might be fun.


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## Strwbrry (Jun 28, 2012)

Awesooooooooommmmme!!!

Most of these things are my goals too, written them real big on a paper, stuck against the wall opposite of my bed, because I want to feel good if I did something and I want to feel the guilt if I procrastinated. Again. 

So, you have my support! Please post your updates too!


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## MrFlay (Jul 14, 2012)

Strwbrry said:


> So, you have my support! Please post your updates too!


Thanks, I appreciate it!

A week has now passed and it's time for an update.


*Nails: *Doing good this time around! Wore tape for 3 days so I'd become consiously aware whenever I put my fingers in my mouth. It worked. I'm now getting used to the fact that the tip of my fingers feel different than they're used to. Last time I reached this stage I got really frustrated with this feeling and started biting again because of this. Hope this won't happen again. Tips are welcome.
*Exercise + abstinence:* Going according to plan! I've been going to the gym + swimming 4 times in total in the past week. I have not masturbated either, however, I find it impossible to avoid _all_ forms of visual stimulus when living in a modern civilized world. Not seeking it out deliberately though. Feels like I'm constantly more aroused state than I'm used to. Interesting...
*Friends:* Okay, I guess. I'm going to a birthday party next weekend. I have taken responsibility to contact some friends to pool together some money to buy a gift on behalf of all of us. I haven't started my step-by-step plan yet, but I feel like it's okay. Small steps and continuous improvement.
*Dating:* Nothing to report. Still looking.
I find procrastination to be just as bad if not even worse than my anxiety. Feeling good about myself so far though


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