# My friends seem to be embarrassed around me.



## Rags (Jul 16, 2017)

I came to this thread to vent about something on my mind that is really upsetting me. I know this may all sound selfish and trivial but it is really eating into my self-esteem and self worth. 

I feel like the person in my group that everybody cannot stand. I am not an interesting person to talk to, especially when I am not attractive or confident in myself when socialising. I have never been invited or involved in a party with my classmates either. I am 17 years old and still go to school. Being a typical teen, I always dread going; although my exam stress is the least of my worries, I dread it mainly because of how being with my friends often make me feel tired and hateful towards myself. They mean well, without a doubt, but every time I have something to say, everybody seems to wait until I finish talking until they can direct their attention back to somebody else in the group. Whenever I arrive in the morning, they normally just glance and continue talking to another friend. (If it were anyone else, normally they'd be visibly happy to see them) I always try my best to contribute, (sometimes I don't even enjoy it) trying my best not to seem awkward or strange. I know friends in secondary school are usually forgettable, a thing most graduates say. But I want to feel liked. And friends are the only way to achieve that feeling. 

I have never told my friends about these feelings as I am too scared that they will misconstrue what I say to them and then they may hate me even more. Sometimes I apologise for things I do or say in the day just to try and get a less-risky message across that I believe that they hate me around them.

(There was also a time very long ago when I fainted in a cafe and my friends ended up waiting outside after I managed to get myself back on my feet. I really needed somebody to talk to at that time and I was hurt when none of my group spoke to me after that)

It's the middle of Summer, not once have I been invited by friends. I have been constantly seeing my friends' photos and videos on Snapchat of them out enjoying themselves together. I was extremely worried as to why they didn't invite me out with them. I am too afraid to organise day outs with them because I am very sure they will all back out of my offer. 

Shortly before I made this thread I decided to google my problem in a state of panic. (Stupid thing for me to do) And I went into an article titled 'signs your friends don't like you', and EVERY SIGN IN THE ARTICLE was an ongoing problem between me and my friends and that made me feel even worse. 

My friends are good people overall, and they don't mean to make me feel alone. I just want them to genuinely like me, and enjoy my presence around them. I would like to be able to walk around with them in public while feeling accepted and that people will notice when I am not there. 

Again I'm sorry if this may seem selfish and childish. Thank you for your time.


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## Sassandclass (Jul 16, 2017)

I'm sorry you're feeling this way  
High school can be a very difficult time. Everyone "acts" like they have it all together, but 99% of the people are feeling just like you. People are not as self assured as they may seem. 

It could be that you are putting out signals of passive behaviour. In your post you said you apologize for your words or actions a lot because you're afraid they were took the wrong way. This may be a sign of excessive passive behaviour. It could signal to others that you don't respect yourself. If you don't respect yourself, others may not respect you either. Have you considered looking into assertiveness? There are many books on this, and one of the best ones is called "The Assertiveness Workbook". If you think it would help to boost your self esteem, I would suggest going through that book and doing the exercises found within. 



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## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

You're 17 and are almost at the end point of secondary/high school. Those type of 'friends' who constantly disregard what you say, never put any effort on anything that you contribute, and constantly put more attention on others who contribute to a conversation never end up staying your friends in the long run.

I find people to be the worse in groups. Quiet people get talked over, only focused on for 2 seconds whenever they talk, and easily forgotten in such settings. I endured that throughout school and college. It's also why I tend to only prefer to hang with 1-3 people at a time. Anything more than that? Hell no.



> (There was also a time very long ago when I fainted in a cafe and my friends ended up waiting outside after I managed to get myself back on my feet. I really needed somebody to talk to at that time and I was hurt when none of my group spoke to me after that)



Uh...?


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