# Women: Would you date a guy who used a prostitute?



## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

*To Moderators: I would of posted this in the "over 18" board, but polls aren't available there. If this thread can't be allowed here, I understand.
*
Question for women: *Would you date a guy who has used a prostitute?

If it depends on _circumstance_ and _conditions_, please elaborate.

Poll Included.


----------



## sabueed (May 8, 2008)

This should be interesting


----------



## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

opcorn


----------



## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

Yes, provided that he'll get tested for STDs.


----------



## Jnmcda0 (Nov 28, 2003)

I'm inclined to think that the guy wouldn't tell the woman about it unless she specifically asked, so even if you voted no, you may have done so unknowingly.


----------



## solasum (Nov 17, 2008)

I can't imagine a person compatible with me having done that. But if I got along well with him, then I'd probably overlook it.


----------



## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

Amend post: "And if not, why?" Now you have an interesting topic.


----------



## sda0 (Oct 16, 2009)

I'm a guy, but I would never date a female porn actress.


----------



## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

path0gen said:


> Amend post: "And if not, why?" Now you have an interesting topic.


I honestly don't think women know why they don't. It's just a sub-conscious gag reflex. I was just curious if SAD girls were any different than normal girls, so far it doesn't seem so. The gag reflex is strong with all women.

@guys

No fixing the poll!:whip


----------



## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

Gag reflex. Pretty accurate. I'm kind of biased because I have disgust issues with sex in general, but yeah.. prostitutes just make me cringe and think of dirtyness and disease so it just makes it ten times worse in my eyes. And then to think that my hypothetical boyfriend touched something like that and then was touching me. Ew.


----------



## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

drealm said:


> I honestly don't think women know why they don't. It's just a sub-conscious gag reflex. I was just curious if SAD girls were any different than normal girls, so far it doesn't seem so. The gag reflex is strong with all women.
> 
> @guys
> 
> No fixing the poll!:whip


Can you blame them though? I mean fair enough it's natural for men to have cravings for sex but to take it as far as paying some hooker on the corner I dunno, to me it's almost a sign of weakness in a way. I dunno, I don't have any real strong argument against it, I think it should be legal (having brothels like they do in Aus) because it at least makes it safer for the working girls themselves and also hopefully reduces the spread of disease etc but I could never do it.


----------



## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

Ospi said:


> Can you blame them though? I mean fair enough it's natural for men to have cravings for sex but to take it as far as paying some hooker on the corner I dunno, to me it's almost a sign of weakness in a way. I dunno, I don't have any real strong argument against it, I think it should be legal (having brothels like they do in Aus) because it at least makes it safer for the working girls themselves and also hopefully reduces the spread of disease etc but I could never do it.


There's an idea floating around out there--and mind you that I do not subscribe to it personally--that you are "paying" for sex no matter how it happens. Whether you're buying the drinks prior to a one-night stand or buying dinner, flowers, jewelry, etc. during a courting phase or even paying for rent or supporting your spouse while she pursues other non income-generating endeavors. It could technically be argued that no sex is participated in without some sort of payment being issued to one party or the other.


----------



## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

sda0 said:


> I'm a guy, but I would never date a female porn actress.


That's hardly comparable.


----------



## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

I agree. youre paying for it one way or another. :yes


----------



## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

path0gen said:


> It could technically be argued that no sex is participated in without some sort of payment being issued to one party or the other.


if you strip everything down to the bare basics, that's entirely true.


----------



## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

path0gen said:


> There's an idea floating around out there--and mind you that I do not subscribe to it personally--that you are "paying" for sex no matter how it happens. Whether you're buying the drinks prior to a one-night stand or buying dinner, flowers, jewelry, etc. during a courting phase or even paying for rent or supporting your spouse while she pursues other non income-generating endeavors. It could technically be argued that no sex is participated in without some sort of payment being issued to one party or the other.





MavenMI6Agent009 said:


> I agree. youre paying for it one way or another. :yes


Nah I think that's a pretty poor attitude. Sex becomes a result of falling for someone in most of those cases and any money you spend is a result of courting someone you may feel strongly for. When you see a prostitute your are paying for a physical experience, there is no connection, no love, it's just using her to get your rocks off. When you are dating, any money spent is a result of the amazing experience of potentially finding a future partner.


----------



## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

Ospi said:


> Nah I think that's a pretty poor attitude. Sex becomes a result of falling for someone in most of those cases and any money you spend is a result of courting someone you may feel strongly for. When you see a prostitute your are paying for a physical experience, there is no connection, no love, it's just using her to get your rocks off. When you are dating, any money spent is a result of the amazing experience of potentially finding a future partner.


Millions of marriages across the world are conceived under less than romantic situations and continue to exist long after any semblence of love or passion has departed. What is sex when a relationship has reached that point except a reciprocal exchange of stimulation? I don't love everyone I've ever slept with and I doubt they've all loved me. Does that make them prostitutes? This is a new millenium. Enjoying yourself, physically, isn't a sin, nor does it have to be a prerequisite to marriage.


----------



## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

If you consider that in a consensual relationship that you are paying for sex. Then your doing it wrong. You may buy your partner gifts, you may give compliments and love. But you should be doing that unconditionally, not for sex or to get something.


----------



## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

matty said:


> You may buy your partner gifts, you may give compliments and love. But you should be doing that unconditionally, not for sex or to get something.


You do it for the feelings that result from taking such an action. The truth is that every single thing a person does is for their own benefit, one way or the other.


----------



## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

matty said:


> If you consider that in a consensual relationship that you are paying for sex. Then your doing it wrong. You may buy your partner gifts, you may give compliments and love. But you should be doing that unconditionally, not for sex or to get something.


Yes, thank-you for saying what I was trying to in a much better way  Agree completely.


----------



## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

shadowmask said:


> You do it for the feelings that result from taking such an action. The truth is that every single thing a person does is for their own benefit, one way or the other.


Can you not see where this attitude is really unhealthy though? It's such a pessimistic and negative way to look at life. And I will not buy the "Oh I'm being realistic" argument either.


----------



## delirium (Jun 24, 2009)

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/men/article627388.ece


----------



## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

Unless youre Don Juan you might as well end up in the psych ward. its a lot more complicated than i thought.


----------



## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

Ospi said:


> Can you not see where this attitude is really unhealthy though? It's such a pessimistic and negative way to look at life.


I realize it's not the ideal attitude to have if you're is looking to achieve true happiness. It's simply what I've come to believe through my experiences and judgment. I don't necessarily consider it "negative", but I admit I wish I could believe otherwise. In my mind it's realistic, but reality is what you make of it. Yours is different and I respect that.


----------



## delirium (Jun 24, 2009)

shadowmask said:


> You do it for the feelings that result from taking such an action. The truth is that every single thing a person does is for their own benefit, one way or the other.


Let's sidestep the question of whether pure altruism is possible, and see if there's anything wrong with your idea that all actions are self-interested.

Suppose all actions have in them an element of self-interest. So what? This is a problem if you're a Kantian about ethics: if you think that an action is only morally praiseworthy if it stems from duty and not from self-interest. But if you're a consequentialist (e.g., a utilitarian) about ethics then it's not a problem: so what if all my actions benefit me in some way as long as I'm also benefiting others in the process? (Case in point: suppose Mother Teresa performed all her acts of kindness partially because doing so made her feel good. We would still consider her actions morally praiseworthy.)

And, perhaps a related question: would you date a girl who used to be a prostitute? If not, why?


----------



## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

True happiness comes from giving without expecting anything in return. Probably the hardest thing to do. Takes incredible character.


----------



## solasum (Nov 17, 2008)

shadowmask said:


> The truth is that every single thing a person does is for their own benefit, one way or the other.


 Just wanted to say that I couldn't agree with you more. :yes


----------



## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

You can PM me if you're interested in discussing philosophy delirium.



delirium said:


> And, perhaps a related question: would you date a girl who used to be a prostitute? If not, why?


I have no idea. I'd have to know what qualities this hypothetical girl possesses before I could make a decision.


----------



## delirium (Jun 24, 2009)

shadowmask said:


> I have no idea. I'd have to know what qualities this hypothetical girl possesses before I could make a decision.


Doesn't this also apply to the original post?


----------



## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

No. I've been wondering, why even date at all, if all a relationship is to a guy is sex? What fulfillment is there in that? Perhaps never being in a relationship is a much better thing than I once believed.


----------



## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

LostInReverie said:


> No. I've been wondering, why even date at all, if all a relationship is to a guy is sex? What fulfillment is there in that? Perhaps never being in a relationship is a much better thing than I once believed.


No all guys think like that though, most guys just want a fore-filling, happy and loving relationship where sex is simply a result of the love, it's not the sole reason they get involved in one, and I believe you will find guys who are solely in it for the sex are quite easy to spot.


----------



## thewall (Feb 1, 2009)

No, never.


----------



## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

Ospi said:


> Can you blame them though? I mean fair enough it's natural for men to have cravings for sex but to take it as far as paying some hooker on the corner I dunno, to me it's almost a sign of weakness in a way. I dunno, I don't have any real strong argument against it, I think it should be legal (having brothels like they do in Aus) because it at least makes it safer for the working girls themselves and also hopefully reduces the spread of disease etc but I could never do it.


At first read I thought you meant I can't blame guy's for "fixing the poll"! Ha! What a laugh!

Do I blame women for looking at men whom use prostitutes with disgust? No. I think blaming women for their gag-reflex would be giving women too much credit. A woman's disgust in men using prostitutes is purely animalistic, no different than a cow farting or a babboon scratching it's bum; it's not a feeling that operates on an intellectual plane.

While I don't blame women, I do struggle with understanding how women's brains compartmentalize men fulfilling their own sexual needs, from women fulfilling their needs. But like I said, I think women's disgust is purely animalistic.

Mind you I didn't make this thread to argue, just to gauge if SAD girls were any different than normal girls on the topic of prostitution. The answer is crystal clear: no.


----------



## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

Are you serious? Sex in itself is what is purely animalistic. To be so preoccupied with meeting your physical desires that you would treat another human as a toy is to turn a blind eye to everything that makes us human and different from animals.


----------



## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

LostInReverie said:


> To be so preoccupied with meeting your phsycial desires that you would treat another human as a toy is to turn a blind eye to everything that makes us human and different from animals.


So I guess what you're saying is it's mind over matter? What about someone who feels their not disciplined enough to "mind over matter" their urges? What do you consider these people? Non-humans?


----------



## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

I've pondered the possibility of getting an escort some day. And if I should somehow get a GF after that, I certainly wouldn't tell her about it. I'm not that dumb.


----------



## TRENNER (Sep 21, 2009)

I lost my virginity to a hooker at age 18. It bothered one woman I was in a serious relationship with, but not the other three I had serious relationships with, including one who was a virgin herself. It never was a dealbreaker with any woman.

Women might say "never" in the abstract. However, from my experience, if they meet a guy who they otherwise think is wonderful and the guy presents his past in the right manner, it won't be the end for him.


----------



## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

i put "other". it really depends more on their attitude about it (if they viewed her with respect, for example example).
another factor is if it was done responsibly. i'm not sure how that would be ensured, though, unless it was in a place where prostitution was legal and there are regulations that must be followed. there are sex workers here who i'm sure always use protection, get tested regularly, have complete control over their business, etc, but there are also some who are controlled by their pimp or mistress, have little to no choice over their clients and what they do have to do with them, receive an unfair portion of their earnings, etc.


----------



## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

drealm said:


> So I guess what you're saying is it's mind over matter? What about someone who feels their not disciplined enough to "mind over matter" their urges? What do you consider these people? Non-humans?


Of course not. To err is human. However, that doesn't mean you shouldn't strive to not err.


----------



## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

LostInReverie said:


> No. I've been wondering, why even date at all, if all a relationship is to a guy is sex?


Don't write us all off~

As for the poll, what about asking... "If your longterm boyfriend confessed to you that he previously used a prostitute, what would you do?" ...because this subject, if it gets brought up at all, is probably something that would come into the open a lot further down the line than on a first or second date. Ah ha, now it's someone you care about, who you've spent the last six months with. He could be "the one"! Is it still a dealbreaker or would the time spent together change your stance?


----------



## SilentWitness (Dec 27, 2009)

Futures said:


> I've pondered the possibility of getting an escort some day. And if I should somehow get a GF after that, *I certainly wouldn't tell her about it. I'm not that dumb.*


That is so true. How many guys would actually own up to having sex with a prostitute? Not many, I'd say, it would just be a number as in a number of how many partners with no specifics attached.



TRENNER said:


> I lost my virginity to a hooker at age 18. It bothered one woman I was in a serious relationship with, but not the other three I had serious relationships with, including one who was a virgin herself. It never was a dealbreaker with any woman.
> 
> *Women might say "never" in the abstract*. However, from my experience, if they meet a guy who they otherwise think is wonderful and the guy presents his past in the right manner, it won't be the end for him.


Quite true. I'm surprised you owned up to it though.


----------



## ryobi (Jan 13, 2009)

LostInReverie said:


> Are you serious? Sex in itself is what is purely animalistic. To be so preoccupied with meeting your physical desires that you would treat another human as a toy is to turn a blind eye to everything that makes us human and different from animals.


Actually, humans are one of the only creatures to use sex for something other than procreation. Therefore, one could argue having sex for pleasure is one of the things that makes us human???

For example, most animals have mating a season. A mating season that ensures the greatest chance of survival for their species. For instance most animals in cold climates bore their proginy in the spring. Those individuals born in the spring have a greater chance of survival because they mature throughout the summer. However, humans, "mate" year round for pleasure.

Reality...the enemy of hubris. And uhhh....your right. It's wrong to compare humans to animals. Such a comparison is rich. In reality, we are more like a virus, than an animal.

However, personally, I could never have sex with someone who wasn't into me. I think it would be demoralizing.


----------



## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

I'd never "use" a prostitute. It sounds gross just thinking about it. That said, when I was 15/16, I came very close to getting some action from some women that were probably in their 40s. We were on a trip in Europe. A guy (I assume their pimp) lured us in from the busy street, during the day. It was a small dark place. We sat down at the bar, and drinks were given to us. Then he snapped his fingers, and suddenly 4 women approached us. There was a brief discussion about various acts that could be done, and our ages (14 to 21), but the women didn't seem to mind. Anyway, we all decided it would be best to not stick around, so we paid for our drinks and left fairly quickly. ok, maybe a part of me kinda wanted to visit the back rooms they had.


----------



## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

Sure, if he presents me his STD lab results.


----------



## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

I've never used the services of a hooker. And yet I still get no dates.


----------



## person987 (Jan 22, 2010)

I wouldn't. Everyone needs to be with someone who's compatible with them, and I just couldn't be with a man who's happy to rent out someone's body for their own empty physical gratification. When a man values the emotional connection in a relationship, and needs that before they sleep with someone, then I know I'm on the same page as him. I suppose I'd consider the same man less controlled by their hormones, and less likely to cheat.

I'm not saying here that men shouldn't visit prostitutes, though; I don't want to go into that, because I'm not a man and can't claim to understand a man's perspective. It's just not my own particular preference.


----------



## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

ryobi said:


> Actually, humans are one of the only creatures to use sex for something other than procreation. Therefore, one could argue having sex for pleasure is one of the things that makes us human???
> 
> For example, most animals have mating a season. A mating season that ensures the greatest chance of survival for their species. For instance most animals in cold climates bore their proginy in the spring. Those individuals born in the spring have a greater chance of survival because they mature throughout the summer. However, humans, "mate" year round for pleasure.
> 
> ...


A mating season, yes, but they mate out of instinct, which is encouraged through pleasure, not out of the reason to procreate. That instinct is nature's (to you) doing. Sex for humans, due to our complexity of emotions, is an intimate act. This is not so in the animal world. I refuse to have further discussion on the differences between man and animal or what will ultimately lead into Creation vs. Evolution, so this is my last post regarding that topic.


----------



## meowgirl (Aug 24, 2009)

NO

except odd circumstances of course (rape/child trafficking)

But if it was a choice, not my cup of tea. I don't think people who have done that are bad people or anything, especially if it was a bad mistake, but for my own personal relationship, I just couldn't date a guy who did that.


----------



## Crawlin out the hole (Jan 18, 2010)

I would never go see a prostitute. I don't think a hooker would like to cuddle.


----------



## TRENNER (Sep 21, 2009)

D11 said:


> Quite true. I'm surprised you owned up to it though.


I believe honesty is the best policy, although of course I'm not so idiotic to bring the subject up on the first or second date. Anyway, there were mitigating circumstances for me in that 1)it was my first time after bombing with the girls I'd meet and 2)I didn't go back but waited 12 years for my second time having sex!!!


----------



## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

quiet0lady said:


> I agree... so to answer the question, my answer is no.


x3.


----------



## seastar (Mar 27, 2009)

Yes, what ever he did before he met me is none of my darn business. So what if he craved sex and actually did something about it one night. And we've all made mistakes.


----------



## Akane (Jan 2, 2008)

Depends on how responsible they are about it. Picking up some random hooker on a street corner, asking no questions, having sex (particularly without a condom), and then paying would be very very bad. Someone like that is going to show their irresponsibility and other negative characteristics in other aspects of their life and so I would likely end up not dating them even if I didn't know.

Using an online or other service to find women who have been std tested after every encounter and then using protection and getting yourself tested every time, not so bad. My husband pretty much did that except the women on the sites he used weren't actually looking for payment just anonymous sex so I guess it fails to count as prostitution. I really don't care that he had sex with random women. He was responsible about it and respected them so not a problem. I just like torturing him by trying to find the pics I know he keeps of every woman he had sex with. Apparently he thinks something bad will happen if I find them so he keeps moving the files around to different computers or hard drives. It's amusing.


----------



## Dane (Jul 27, 2009)

Ospi said:


> Nah I think that's a pretty poor attitude. Sex becomes a result of falling for someone in most of those cases and any money you spend is a result of courting someone you may feel strongly for. When you see a prostitute your are paying for a physical experience, there is no connection, no love, it's just using her to get your rocks off. When you are dating, any money spent is a result of the amazing experience of potentially finding a future partner.


I agree with this completely.


----------



## strawberryjulius (Jun 28, 2009)

Yeah, sure.


----------



## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

I think that I wouldn't but it depends..
It could say something about a guys view of women,but also the circumstances could have been different.
I don't really get how someone could go to that extent that they would pay someone for sex,I would rather be a virgin for the rest of my life than do something like that.And btw most prostitutes don't even enjoy having sex with most costumers so it seems to be kind of selfish also..

And to say that men have needs makes it ok to pay for sex?Then your just simplyfying yourself because I also have needs all though I'm a woman(yeah,women can actually like sex-go figure :roll),but I would never do something like that.


----------



## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

some people seem to forget that going to a prostitute with the agreement that you will give them money in exchange for sexual favours is 1000 times more honest than lying, using and 'playing games' with a woman simply with the intention of having sex with her.

in addition, i don't think it's a fair comparison to use the argument that women get strong sexual urges but they don't resort to paying someone for sexual favours like some men might. we simply don't have that option. if i look through the 'adult personals' section in the back of newspapers, it lists hundreds of ads for men from female sex workers and male sex workers (who may not necessarily be homosexual). i would see maybe one ad from a male geared toward women. the opportunities are very, very limited so there is much less of a chance that you'll find one who is your type in terms of apperance and who you know is more reliable and safe. it's not legal so it's much less likely that you know they will follow the rules they may claim to and that it's in a controlled and safe environment (e.g. the client can immediately get help if they are in danger). sure, there is less of a market than there is for men, but there still are women who would pay for sexual favours (many are into casual, no-strings-attached sex) and prostitution being illegal in most places greatly favours men.

from what i've heard only recently has there been any legal male prostitutes in nevada. i've seen clips of an interview with the first (and so far, only?) male prostitute and as i said... slim pickins'.

(i always seem to hear that if a woman goes to a bar wearing a black dress she is guaranteed to get some action that night but i can tell you that is not true at all! i know there is also the option of finding men who also just want no-strings-attached sex, but keeping it very professional just seems easier in my opinion... i mean, there's no way to ensure that they won't just be done in 30 seconds then roll over and mention they just realized they have an early meeting the next morning, or that they'll go too far with some BDSM and ignore the rules made in advance, etc etc).


----------



## Madison_Rose (Feb 27, 2009)

path0gen said:


> There's an idea floating around out there--and mind you that I do not subscribe to it personally--that you are "paying" for sex no matter how it happens. Whether you're buying the drinks prior to a one-night stand or buying dinner, flowers, jewelry, etc. during a courting phase or even paying for rent or supporting your spouse while she pursues other non income-generating endeavors. It could technically be argued that no sex is participated in without some sort of payment being issued to one party or the other.


I am familiar with that idea, but I reject it strongly. It's against my principles to have sex for any reason other than pleasure or love. If I give my bf a present, I don't expect sex in return. I don't expect anything in return - it's given freely, with no expectation of payback.

If a man takes me out for dinner, I don't consider that I owe him sex. I'll either pay for half the meal, or balance the leger by paying for the food next time we go out. If I want to have sex with him that's another, seperate consideration.

Back on topic - the thought makes me a little uneasy, but I probably would, as long as he got tested for STDs.


----------



## Madison_Rose (Feb 27, 2009)

nothing to fear said:


> in addition, i don't think it's a fair comparison to use the argument that women get strong sexual urges but they don't resort to paying someone for sexual favours like some men might. we simply don't have that option.


Well, we do if we want to go to the Gambia - lots of handome, young, bored Gambian men who would love to be your "boyfriend" for the week in exchange for gifts and money.


----------



## march_hare (Jan 18, 2006)

I said "yes".
I don't see anything inherently morally reprehensible about sleeping with a prostitute. 
Of course there are issues of STDs as other people have mentioned. But I'd be concerned about that anyway whoever he'd been having sex with previously.


----------



## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

This thread is pretty stupid, its like saying 'would you date a guy who once slept with a promiscuous girl?'

that fact is you wouldnt know either way.

even if a guy did sleep with a hooker, at least he's gonna be using protection. You could sleep with a 'regular' girl you met in a bar or whatever and have unprotected sex with her....whose more at risk here!?


----------



## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

well theres a good chance the guy would have a disease and i mean it shows what his morals are like, so no , but i mean if he was a changed guy maybe


----------



## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

nothing to fear said:


> in addition, i don't think it's a fair comparison to use the argument that women get strong sexual urges but they don't resort to paying someone for sexual favours like some men might. we simply don't have that option. if i look through the 'adult personals' section in the back of newspapers, it lists hundreds of ads for men from female sex workers and male sex workers (who may not necessarily be homosexual). i would see maybe one ad from a male geared toward women. the opportunities are very, very limited so there is much less of a chance that you'll find one who is your type in terms of apperance and who you know is more reliable and safe. it's not legal so it's much less likely that you know they will follow the rules they may claim to and that it's in a controlled and safe environment (e.g. the client can immediately get help if they are in danger). sure, there is less of a market than there is for men, but there still are women who would pay for sexual favours (many are into casual, no-strings-attached sex) and prostitution being illegal in most places greatly favours men.
> 
> from what i've heard only recently has there been any legal male prostitutes in nevada. i've seen clips of an interview with the first (and so far, only?) male prostitute and as i said... slim pickins'.


Ok,so it was a bad comparison,but I just think that men tend to use the excuse that they have stronger urges than women and because of that they need sex more often than girls do.Because in the modern society it still is accepted that men have more urges than women do,but if a woman does the same thing then she is called a w***e.

I wouldn't have liked it if he had been having sex with random girls either,but thats because I see sex as something I would do with someone I have feelings for so I see it as something a little bit more sacred than just running around doing it with some random person.

But I'm not going to be stupid here because if the guy was great in every other way I would date him,but it would bother me a little bit


----------



## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

Invisible_girl said:


> Ok,so it was a bad comparison,but I just think that men tend to use the excuse that they have stronger urges than women and because of that they need sex more often than girls do.Because in the modern society it still is accepted that men have more urges than women do,but if a woman does the same thing then she is called a w***e.
> 
> I wouldn't have liked it if he had been having sex with random girls either,but thats because I see sex as something I would do with someone I have feelings for so I see it as something a little bit more sacred than just running around doing it with some random person.
> 
> But I'm not going to be stupid here because if the guy was great in every other way I would date him,but it would bother me a little bit


yup i see what you mean now.

i think some people just have the ability to separate casual sex with someone you don't have feelings for, and meaningful sex with someone you love and care for immensely... so a lot of people who can still have that strictly physical sex with certain partners can also experience the more emotional and meaningful love-making with the right person. if you were in a long-term relationship with that sort of person then i think it would be assumed that they would be open about what the sex in the relationship means for them.
what i tend to hear from most people who have had both those kinds of sex is that it's much better when both partners are in love and share a deep, emotional bond with eachother.


----------



## ryobi (Jan 13, 2009)

It differers within the relationship too


----------



## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

Life isnt so cut and dried, its impossible to know. First of all, that is assuming that everyone is completely forthright and provides a list of previous lovers to their new interest. People lie. And frankly, I personally would not feel compelled to reveal every sexual encounter I have ever had to anyone. 

I wouldnt actively seek out anyone who used the services of a prostitute. Who would? I wouldnt particularly be turned on by such a thing, but I guess I really dont know what I would do.


----------



## userabuser (Jan 21, 2010)

well i think women shouldnt date guys that **** prositutes. that same guy under different circumstances like in a position of power would most likely use that power to his advantage and have sex with a majority of the women that are now readily available.


----------



## desimarissa (Feb 20, 2010)

I would. But definitely not if they were doing it at the time I started dating them or seemed to have some sort of addiction to constantly using prostitutes. So, yeah it would depend on the person and/or situation. But especially If it was just once, who cares?


----------



## KumagoroBeam (Sep 15, 2008)

I got to page three of this thread before I figured out that it's "used a prostitute" and not "used *to be* a prostitute".

I need to learn how to read.


----------



## ruxul (Oct 22, 2008)

Wow.. Im suprised at how many women said yes..


----------



## ruxul (Oct 22, 2008)

KumagoroBeam said:


> I got to page three of this thread before I figured out that it's "used a prostitute" and not "used *to be* a prostitute".
> 
> I need to learn how to read.


Oh god. Hahaha. I did the same thing.
Haha, I was shocked that so many women would be willing to date an ex prostitute haha. :doh


----------



## Turkojan (Jan 30, 2010)

hookers are not escorts and vice versa

and some people seem to have no choice, other than maybe one of those real dolls... hmmm...


----------



## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

UltraShy said:


> I've never used the services of a hooker. And yet I still get no dates.


you mean escort? not a walking street prostitute. I hope. with escorts they can work differently and doesnt have to be sex just coversation


----------



## TRENNER (Sep 21, 2009)

polythene said:


> I wouldn't want to date someone who was so desperate for sex he had to pay for it. We would not be compatible, end of story.


What if 1) the visit was years ago, 2)he was good looking, 3) he was a really nice guy, 4) you had a lot of other things in common with him, as well as 5) him being disease free? While it is reasonable for you to be put off a bit, IMO you want to look at the big picture.

If I recall, a couple of months ago, you started a thread called "Would you date someone you're not interested in?" because you complain that very few guys are interested in you. You don't want to be too rigid in your requirements.


----------



## TRENNER (Sep 21, 2009)

MavenMI6Agent009 said:


> you mean escort? not a walking street prostitute. I hope. with escorts they can work differently and doesnt have to be sex just coversation


Yes, great conversation at $500-1000 or more an hour!!! It can happen rarely that there is just conversation--but generally there is more going on.


----------



## gandalfthegrey (Feb 14, 2010)

im going to vote yes


----------



## Some Russian Guy (Mar 20, 2009)

So basically every normal girl automatically blacklist a guy if she finds out that he's gone to a hooker. Why ?


----------



## Akane (Jan 2, 2008)

> First of all, that is assuming that everyone is completely forthright and provides a list of previous lovers to their new interest. People lie. And frankly, I personally would not feel compelled to reveal every sexual encounter I have ever had to anyone.


I would expect anyone I was going to have sex with to provide at least the number of people they'd done anything with and how many of those were serious relationships, casual, prostitutes, whatever.... If someone lies about it or doesn't want to say I've probably already picked up on the fact I can't trust them. Thus the reason I didn't go out looking for one night stands. If I didn't know whether I could trust someone and exactly how much experience/std risk they had I didn't want to have sex with them. Not that I find that wrong at all and condoms will protect against anything serious nearly all the time but I have enough trust issues with people that I'm still not going to do it. I even knew about the guy who so much as fingered a prostitute his friends paid for before thinking about having sex with him. I consider previous encounters basic ground to cover in a relationship before engaging in sexual activity. Along with when both people last got std tested. Most of the guys I had sex with turned out to be virgins so that conversation rarely lasted long but it was still something I knew before doing anything.


----------



## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

When I saw this thread the other night, I thought it said, "Would you date a guy who used to be a prostitute?"


----------



## yexi17 (Jan 14, 2010)

I'm very conservative, the mere fact that my ex had had sex already killed me. Anway he left me because I wouldn't do that with him. I have morals. So no probably no, because I prefer guys that haven't had sex yet so I could imagine going out with one who did a hooker! Anyway I know it's crazy but I hope to marry a virgin guy someday. I think sex is something very special that should only be shared with the person you love. To know that someone I have been dating did that with a hooker would make me feel like I'm not special to him. I dunno it's hard to explain but that's just the way I was raised


----------



## SilentLoner (Jan 30, 2006)

I guess I would rather not know. If I knew then my biggest concern would be diseases. If that were in the clear, then I think I would.

But if he were a common client rather than a one or two timer then that might be a deal-breaker.


----------



## Smitten (Oct 30, 2006)

I read the poll as "Would you date a guy that used to be a prostitute"


----------



## BrokenDreams (Nov 22, 2008)

nothing to fear said:


> what i tend to hear from most people who have had both those kinds of sex is that it's much better when both partners are in love and share a deep, emotional bond with eachother.


Much better and more or less entirely different. I differentiate by defining "sex" as an act performed mainly for mutual physical pleasure but the intimate act that couples in love perform where they do share a deep emotional bond as well, I call "making love". People who are not in love can only have sex, whereas people who are in love can have both.



delirium said:


> And, perhaps a related question: would you date a girl who used to be a prostitute? If not, why?


For instance:

If you happened to meet the New York Post's advice columnist, Ashley Dupre (Elliot Spitzer's call girl, who is no longer working as a call girl) and you found her to be a really kind, fun and interesting person, as well as being attracted to her and you felt she was truly interested in you as well, would you refuse to date her because of her past?

I would date her and wouldn't hold her past against her.


----------



## Some Russian Guy (Mar 20, 2009)

yexi17 said:


> Anyway I know it's crazy but I hope to marry a virgin guy someday.


 Are a lot of girls like that ?

What if on a dating website I tell a girl the truth, that I'm a virgin... Will this be the right move, or total stupidity ?


----------



## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

Some Russian Guy said:


> Are a lot of girls like that ?
> 
> What if on a dating website I tell a girl the truth, that I'm a virgin... Will this be the right move, or total stupidity ?


Do you really think many girls like yexi17 would use online dating? Do you think those few that might would want you simply because you are a virgin? How many women's profiles have you seen that specify that virginity is a plus in men?


----------



## JFmtl (Dec 23, 2008)

Some Russian Guy said:


> Are a lot of girls like that ?
> 
> What if on a dating website I tell a girl the truth, that I'm a virgin... Will this be the right move, or total stupidity ?


Online dating or not, it depends on what type of girls you are looking for. It's probably a good thing if you are in a conservative region in the USA and if you are looking for a religious, wait-til-marriage girl.

However, being a virgin will be a huge flaw if you are not looking for that type of girl, and/or if you live in a modern-urban where you are expected to have past relationship and sex experience after a certain age.

Also, I'd add that if you don't deeply believe in the concept of wait-til-marriage and if you don't hold virginity to an (overrated IMO) pedestal, and if you don't share the often religious beliefs behind those things, that type of girls is probably not for you anyway. I don't think it's easy for a relation to survive huge values differences, and you might end up being more frustrated than anything.


----------



## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

Some Russian Guy said:


> Are a lot of girls like that?


Very, very, few. And most are religious. Seeing as I'm not religious, but just someone whom favors old traditions, I'm stuck on my own island.

I'd like one of those girls myself. But the reality is I'll most likely have to settle for someone who's experienced an order of magnitude more partners than myself. As I live in an area where marriage is considered sin and casual sex is considered the highest form of life.


----------

