# Late bloomers



## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

All late bloomers post here.

I feel weird being a virgin at this age, never been kissed, and never having had a girlfriend. Part of me feels that I wouldn't know what to do in a relationship if I even had one, but another part of me really wants to experience love.

All of you people who got into relationships early are _extremely _lucky. I don't know how my life got to this point. :no


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## EagerMinnow84 (Sep 1, 2007)

Late Bloomer here. 

25, never had a boyfriend. Never had any guy in this glorious city of a couple million ever express any interest in me. I have no idea what that would be like. I don't think I am meant to be in one. I had a couple "long distance relationships" be neither of them wanted to be with me long term (aka: move). It makes me envious of people that are in ldr's and the other person actually moves to be with the other. 

What the heck is wrong with me? 

Ok, I went on a tangent. :\


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

I'm 27 years old, and I've never been in a relationship, kissed only drunk at a party, and been on one date, but I'm not sure I'm a late bloomer. I'm pretty mature when it comes to everything else, it's just that I've never been lucky enough to have anyone I have cared about feel the same way about me. Of course, my friends once told me that I'm the only one within our circle that actually looks better now than he did in college. Encouraging, but I still feel pretty bad about my lack of relationships.


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## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

25 years old, I'm as virgin as you can get. Never even held hands or cuddled with a girl. It's impossible to describe the empty feeling that builds up year after year.


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## VCL XI (Jan 19, 2004)

I don't know if I belong, since the term implies I'll actually "bloom" someday. Not happening. I know what the problems are, they're not getting fixed in this lifetime, and it's best that I look into more pleasant and achievable alternatives at this point, e.g., chemical castration.


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## Snowboarder (Aug 24, 2009)

31 years old. Never been in a relationship. Want to experience and affectionate relationship but am afraid I won't know what to do. I always back off the minute I think a girl is getting to like me as boyfriend potential. Irony is I talk to young folks about sexual health on occasion and yet here I am without any of my own experience.


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## Dempsey (Jun 27, 2009)

21. Uh, yeah.


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## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

Here !

I've had a recent epiphany that I hope to change that though.
I think my problem is vanity- i am so afraid of appearing incompetent in front of women, that i take NO chances. I think I just haveto prepare myself to accept embarrassment.

Well, at least, i hope that's how it works.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

I believe I have you all trumped. I'm 33 and have done nothing whatsoever in the romantic realm -- no dating and nothing physical. I've never even attempted to ask a woman on a date. 

Let me pose a question for discussion. If by some miracle you managed to get into a dating relationship, would you reveal your inexperience at some point or keep it hidden?


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## Iced Soul (Jan 28, 2009)

I was watching a movie and the girl in it was 15 and thought she was a late bloomer because she hadn't yet been on a formal date.

If a 15 year old thinks they are a late bloomer, I must be an ultra late bloomer.


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## jellybelly (May 10, 2009)

23, never been in a relationship. The only men who have shown any kind of interest in me were foreign waiters on holiday only after one thing...and I did kiss one on the lips for some strange reason but that is as far as my experience of anything remotely romantically physical goes. At school discos, I only ever danced with one boy. No one else would dance with me. And since then nothing has changed. I started to reject because I felt rejected and now I don't know if I can get out of this vicious circle. But chance would be a fine thing as no one wants to know me! I don't know if/how I'd cope in any kind of light or serious relationship but looks like I'll never find out.

I just want to hold someone's hand and have someone hug me and hold me. I want someone to want me.


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## EagerMinnow84 (Sep 1, 2007)

jellybelly said:


> I just want to hold someone's hand and have someone hug me and hold me. I want someone to want me.


Me too. :\


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## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

EagerMinnow84 said:


> Late Bloomer here.
> 
> 25, never had a boyfriend. Never had any guy in this glorious city of a couple million ever express any interest in me. I have no idea what that would be like. I don't think I am meant to be in one. I had a couple "long distance relationships" be neither of them wanted to be with me long term (aka: move). It makes me envious of people that are in ldr's and the other person actually moves to be with the other.
> 
> ...


I can relate to the LDR thing. My one relationship was an LDR with a girl from high school, and it ticks me off so much that she dumped me before I came back, whereas my other friend (who got into an LDR just a couple weeks after mine) is going to move in with her boyfriend (who she LURVES just so, so much) at the beginning of next month.

I've done my ranting and raving about how it's not fair, but at this point it just doesn't really matter. It hurts, but I just have to look to the future and realize that I have to plan my life like I never will have another relationship and go from that assumption, as much as that hurts to think about.

And I'll stop right there before I get myself depressed again ::thinks happy thoughts::


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## KyleThomas (Jul 1, 2009)

EagerMinnow84 said:


> > Originally Posted by *jellybelly*
> > I just want to hold someone's hand and have someone hug me and hold me. I want someone to want me.
> 
> 
> Me too. :\


:squeeze


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## Catching Fire (Apr 23, 2009)

Iced Soul said:


> I was watching a movie and the girl in it was 15 and thought she was a late bloomer because she hadn't yet been on a formal date.
> 
> If a 15 year old thinks they are a late bloomer, I must be an ultra late bloomer.


Don't listen to movies. I've had alot of friends who didn't get girl friends or do anything with girls until this year(myself included) and they arn't unpopular or have SA. One of them was one of the best looking guys in my class and many girls Im friends with have a huge crush on him. I think most dont get involved until 16-17.


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## SloopjohnB (Jan 1, 2009)

I can say I am a late bloomer, I am still a virgin but I made a big step last year and got into a relationship. It ended last October but it gave me some great insight. I found that everyone wasn't giving me the whole "about damn time" line but wondering how we are doing and giving me tips on how to be a good bf. People seemed to care more about me succeeding in a relationship than berating me for not being in one sooner.

It has made me more relaxed in getting another relationship, it would be great but I can wait when it is right.


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

jellybelly said:


> I started to reject because I felt rejected and now I don't know if I can get out of this vicious circle.


I know how that feels. After being rejected so many times, I decided to swear off women, and then I started thinking about everything I could accomplish if I was never bogged down by a relationship. Last year, after a concert we both really enjoyed, while still in this mode, I sort of rejected a woman that was perfect for me. I gave her a whole prepared spiel about how I didn't want a relationship and was better off without one. She basically ran out of my car after that. But eventually I came to realize that I'm human after all, and I need companionship, that it's not something I can just ignore. So now I feel pretty bad about it.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

IcedOver said:


> I believe I have you all trumped. I'm 33 and have done nothing whatsoever in the romantic realm -- no dating and nothing physical. I've never even attempted to ask a woman on a date.
> 
> Let me pose a question for discussion. If by some miracle you managed to get into a dating relationship, would you reveal your inexperience at some point or keep it hidden?


Not so fast.....34 here.
By the time I get myself into a relationship.....ease into it. The good thing about being Christian is that there isn't supposed to be any sex outside of marriage anyway, that's a plus for me.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

SloopjohnB said:


> I can say I am a late bloomer, I am still a virgin but I made a big step last year and got into a relationship. It ended last October but it gave me some great insight. I found that everyone wasn't giving me the whole "about damn time" line but wondering how we are doing and giving me tips on how to be a good bf. People seemed to care more about me succeeding in a relationship than berating me for not being in one sooner.
> 
> It has made me more relaxed in getting another relationship, it would be great but I can wait when it is right.


This is actually promising to hear. :yes


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## SloopjohnB (Jan 1, 2009)

I have a friend who is a real late bloomer, he was in his early forties, a virgin and never kissed a girl. I have known him for 10 years until I found out about his lack of experience. He was very funny, nice and responsible, all things I thought would have gotten him in a relationship awhile back.

At the same time my mom had a coworker who had a son I baby-sat for a summer, she was around the same age as well. My sister seeing the opportunity decided to hook them up. Low and behold it worked.

They were together when she was pregnant, got married and have been together for three years and going strong with two kids.

That's even more promising of a story than mine was.


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## Freedom2010 (Jan 29, 2009)

jellybelly said:


> I just want to hold someone's hand and have someone hug me and hold me. I want someone to want me.


:ditto

I have someone in particular I have been thinking a lot about lately. I hope he feels the same way about me...

I guess I am not a "late bloomer" since I am only 17, but I have never dated, had a boyfriend, or had a kiss that actually meant something.


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## bread6 (Aug 27, 2009)

I'm still a virgin, never have been in a relationship, kissed anyone, held hands, or anything. I'm only 22. I realize that I have many years ahead of me, but the fact that I have no experience whatsoever has really been bothering me lately. I can't seem to stop thinking about it... It's almost haunting me. I want a family to be in my future... a loving husband, four or five kids... but instead I keep coming up with an image of myself being a grumpy, old lady who lives alone in a shack with a bunch of cats.


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## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

bread6 said:


> I can't seem to stop thinking about it... It's almost haunting me. I want a family to be in my future... a loving husband, four or five kids... but instead I keep coming up with an image of myself being a grumpy, old lady who lives alone in a shack with a bunch of cats.


Replace "husband" with "wife", and "lady" with "man", and I'm in the same boat.


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## rcapo89 (Jun 3, 2009)

I'm only 20 years old but I've never had a girlfriend,kissed anyone, held hands, and still a virgin. :|


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

I've miraculously entered the romance realm and it's nice and all, BUT...

Once you get over the initial thrill/happiness, you might start feeling really really HORRIBLE thinking about how the person you're with has been with other people before, and you never have.


I would strongly advise having just a fling or pointless make-out or something before you try an actual relationship. Because then at least you've done -something-. Just my opinion. 


I wish I had dated/anything-ed before my first boyfriend, because now I''m very in love and committed to him but still struggle with feelings of jealousy and wanting to know what it's like to be with other people.


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## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

ohpewp said:


> I've miraculously entered the romance realm and it's nice and all, BUT...
> 
> Once you get over the initial thrill/happiness, you might start feeling really really HORRIBLE thinking about how the person you're with has been with other people before, and you never have.
> 
> ...


:agree


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## tim78 (Nov 2, 2008)

31 and still a virgin. don't think that's going to change any time soon.


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## ivankaramazov (Aug 22, 2009)

I can't be the only one that sees an easy solution here.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

^You take him and I'll take hem. See me in the shadow of a doubt.


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## Meee (Oct 24, 2005)

ohpewp said:


> I would strongly advise having just a fling or pointless make-out or something before you try an actual relationship. Because then at least you've done -something-. Just my opinion.


You say that like it's actually a possibility for people here.


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## TheGMan (Jun 10, 2004)

Meee said:


> You say that like it's actually a possibility for people here.


It is for some. In some ways that might be easier than having an actual relationship with S.A. Sometimes intended relationships might end as flings when the SA person doesn't really know how to deal with it.


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## Dipper (Jul 15, 2007)

ohpewp said:


> I've miraculously entered the romance realm and it's nice and all, BUT...
> 
> Once you get over the initial thrill/happiness, you might start feeling really really HORRIBLE thinking about how the person you're with has been with other people before, and you never have.
> 
> ...


Maybe I'm just naive, but I really don't see the problem here.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

ivankaramazov said:


> I can't be the only one that sees an easy solution here.


I hate that "solution." Getting a hooker won't make you any better with women, or improve your social skills. It'll just mean you won't be a virgin anymore. You'll still have to learn how to get a date in the real world.


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## mountain5 (May 22, 2008)

I remember in third grade our teacher read us a story about how it was okay to be a "late bloomer". I spent the whole week wondering what the hell it was talking about.



ohpewp said:


> This will only apply to some people. I've read lots of posts from people about their first relationships and they weren't bothered by their inexperience in comparison to their partner's experience.


It bothered me. Anyway, I think we should be realistic, most first relationships turn out to be bad. Some people find their perfect match for the first person they date, and some people win $100 million in the lottery.


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## pariahgirl (Mar 26, 2008)

I think being a late bloomer is alright. Really after watching an endless amount of romatic comedies in my teens it really screwed me up into thinking relationships are going to be these fantastic poignant things. Where you gaze into each others eyes from across the room and the music goes Da Na Na and bam thats it you live happily ever after. When really a lot of them are nothing but drama and a waste of time. Not all of them but yeah, enough.


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## anomal2 (Mar 1, 2009)

For you to experience relationships, use techniques actors use to play a new role.

1. Visualize new experiences. Rehearsing for a life as someone else.
2. Abandon society's expectations. Your own experience is valid. The media image of relationships is a lie intended to control society.
3. Study social skills. Learn about body language. Improve your speaking voice. Rehearse plots. Write your own soap opera. Act out a dramatic script.
4. Practice makes perfect. Online video chat. Taking an acting class.


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## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

anomal2 said:


> For you to experience relationships, use techniques actors use to play a new role.
> 
> 1. Visualize new experiences. Rehearsing for a life as someone else.
> 2. Abandon society's expectations. Your own experience is valid. The media image of relationships is a lie intended to control society.
> ...


LOL ..you're funny man.
If that's the case, then I'm joining a local drama club


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## MrWorry (Sep 5, 2009)

WintersTale said:


> All late bloomers post here.
> 
> I feel weird being a virgin at this age, never been kissed, and never having had a girlfriend. Part of me feels that I wouldn't know what to do in a relationship if I even had one, but another part of me really wants to experience love.
> 
> All of you people who got into relationships early are _extremely _lucky. I don't know how my life got to this point. :no


Sometimes i wish my only relationship never happened as i think it screwed me up for a long time. Long term 3 yrs with only one girlfriend through high school and college. She had a baby girl from another guy so that just added to a lot of drama over 7yrs of her life. Hard to believe that this little girl that i helped raise is now probably graduating high school and i'm no where in the picture.

If it wasnt for this one girl i wouldn't have gone to prom or had any other relationship up to this point. Was it worth it, i truly don't know. Being as young as i was and getting involved in such a relationship was probably a bad idea. My relatives had bad vibes about the whole situation. Rightly so.

Just don't be in a rush to find anybody.


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## slashygirl (Sep 7, 2009)

I'm a 19 year old girl and I've never even been kissed by a guy. I'm not unattractive or anything, I'm just so shy.


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