# 17 and no friends. I am doomed



## Sandine (Jul 9, 2017)

Hi, I'm new here but I have been lurking for a while. 
I will be a senior in high school in fall and I haven't made any new friends since my freshman year. I was bullied all the way through primary school and I'd say that is the main reason why I have SA. Being ****ed up way before, I didn't know how to meet people and I ended up being alone in high school as well. I am diagnosed with depressive disorder and I have been to a psychologist but it didn't get better. Actually my SA did get a bit better as I can now find courage to speak up in class but then again I have no friends.
Right now I'm crying in my room and being suicidal. I don't see the point of living or the way out. I attempted suicide twice and it was awful, and my parents reacted really badly. I just wanna die already.
Sorry I had to rant, I just want to be heard...


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

Hobbies are the best bridge. Ignore haters and just talk to people what you're passionate about in life. Friends will find you if you constantly do this and just be polite yet not a total pushover and talk.


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## BrokeTech (Jun 1, 2017)

Sandine said:


> Hi, I'm new here but I have been lurking for a while.
> I will be a senior in high school in fall and I haven't made any new friends since my freshman year. I was bullied all the way through primary school and I'd say that is the main reason why I have SA. Being ****ed up way before, I didn't know how to meet people and I ended up being alone in high school as well. I am diagnosed with depressive disorder and I have been to a psychologist but it didn't get better. Actually my SA did get a bit better as I can now find courage to speak up in class but then again I have no friends.
> Right now I'm crying in my room and being suicidal. I don't see the point of living or the way out. I attempted suicide twice and it was awful, and my parents reacted really badly. I just wanna die already.
> Sorry I had to rant, I just want to be heard...


I was bullied for most of the time I was in school pre-high school, as well, and I also think that is at least part of the reason why I have SA.

Personally, instead of wanting to commit suicide, I basically quit giving a shiet about other people and got very comfortable/accustomed to being by myself. And this is how I was in high school, not just today as an adult. I view friends as huge energy and resource sucks 99% of the time because they basically are, especially if you're a woman and your friends are women.

The thing I've found in giving up on other people and focusing on myself, doing my own thing, etc, and being okay with it is that it makes people more interested in you. That's not the result I was going for. But I think it just naturally intrigues people whereas being desperate, obviously unhappy or whatever other visible negative repels people. People also don't want the burden of dealing with someone who is suicidal or who would become suicidal when things aren't going right, because most of us don't know how to respond to that the right way...and also because, from my POV, that's not what friendship generally is about (and I'm talking about reality vs the ideal). Friendships are usually about being there for the good and the fun in practice, and that's probably at least part of the reason you want friends anyway, i.e. someone to have a good time with, someone to do things with, someone to listen to you, etc--you're not thinking about how you can support someone else.

Just some thoughts, don't know if they help.


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## Meh98 (Jul 8, 2017)

Hi. I am insane.


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## Sandine (Jul 9, 2017)

Thank you all for kind words. You all made my day better 

I agree that I should get a hobby, however I can't seem to find anything that I'm passionate about. Like everything I touch turns grey. I guess I'll have to try harder.

The problem is that I can't stand being alone. I used to be happy when I was alone, but it suddenly changed and I don't know why. I'd actually feel refreshed after a day out. And I know that friendship is not as ideal as depicted in fiction, but I can't help it. I just want someone I can talk to about music, series, books but also deep topics. Basically I like going out but can't approach people. I also spent most of my teen years isolated so I never went through all those normie phases such as first crush, sleepovers, never kissed etc.
Everyone is so far ahead of me and I feel like I'm still twelve.

I guess all of us SAS-ers are a bit insane


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## Overcast (May 4, 2016)

You're still in high school so you still have a chance. Is there any clubs in your school? If so join one. If you think it's hard relating to others in high school, then prepare your *** for college. The normie levels increase and it's harder to socialize if you're an awkward introvert like many of us. At least that was my experience.


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## andy0128 (Dec 19, 2003)

That sucks. What are you parents, teachers or counsellors doing to help turn your situation around? 

I know the past is traumatic but you have to try and put it behind you. Not all of life is bad.


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## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

Sorry to hear about that. But suicide isn't the answer. It would only ruin any chances of things getting better and your parents would be so heartbroken. You are almost 18, your life is about to start  Things will get better. Don't try to kill yourself, things will get so much better, trust me! I used to feel suicidal too, in fact only last month i had some really strong urges. But things get better! You have to be strong, and let go of any negative emotions that are bothering you. Learn to be content by yourself, and eventually you will make friends. Maybe even in school. You have a whole life ahead of you, imagine all the friends you could make in your life. Don't ever give up, there is always hope, there is always a way out. You have a whole future ahead of you, and one day you might even look back on your life and be glad that you didn't end it. It's not impossible to make friends, and when you find good people who are similar to you, your life will be so much better and your depression will go away or be decreased a lot. But for now stay strong, don't give up, just live your life day to day and learn to not let anything ruin your happiness. Learn to be happy by yourself, and hopefully one day you will meet amazing people in your life. Your social anxiety is improving, so you can get a job or go to college soon, and you'll probably make friends there. You can also try getting a job now, or being more outgoing at school, or even joining a meet up group like meetup.com or something. By the way if you need someone to talk to or to listen to your problems, feel free to send me a private message! It helps to vent problems to listening ears. Good luck, i hope this helped


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## 629753 (Apr 7, 2015)

sad1231234 said:


> Sorry to hear about that. But suicide isn't the answer. It would only ruin any chances of things getting better and your parents would be so heartbroken. You are almost 18, your life is about to start  Things will get better. Don't try to kill yourself, things will get so much better, trust me! I used to feel suicidal too, in fact only last month i had some really strong urges. But things get better! You have to be strong, and let go of any negative emotions that are bothering you. Learn to be content by yourself, and eventually you will make friends. Maybe even in school. You have a whole life ahead of you, imagine all the friends you could make in your life. Don't ever give up, there is always hope, there is always a way out. You have a whole future ahead of you, and one day you might even look back on your life and be glad that you didn't end it. It's not impossible to make friends, and when you find good people who are similar to you, your life will be so much better and your depression will go away or be decreased a lot. But for now stay strong, don't give up, just live your life day to day and learn to not let anything ruin your happiness. Learn to be happy by yourself, and hopefully one day you will meet amazing people in your life. Your social anxiety is improving, so you can get a job or go to college soon, and you'll probably make friends there. You can also try getting a job now, or being more outgoing at school, or even joining a meet up group like meetup.com or something. By the way if you need someone to talk to or to listen to your problems, feel free to send me a private message! It helps to vent problems to listening ears. Good luck, i hope this helped


THis


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## Alyami (Jun 2, 2017)

You are 17 !!! So young !!! Don't you worry !!! I know it is hard right now but you have got to be patient, you still have college to go to and start as a freshman, make sure you talk to the people in your class and show them how kind and friendly you are and how easy to talk to you are !!! But for now, what you can do is join a sports team or apply for jobs where there are many young people who work there. Keep in mind that happiness is contagious, so fake it until you make it. What I meant by that is you have to smile and laugh and be funny around people in order for them to want to be friends with you, you also REALLY need to hide your depression and your mental illnesses. Most people including myself would not want to be friends with a depressing person who complains a lot. It is not impossible and you can do it !!! Just talk to people, start conversations, laugh, joke around, smile, and show people how much of a good person you are.


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## Sandine (Jul 9, 2017)

Hy guys I just wanted to thank you all for the kind words. I feel a bit better now. ?


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