# The college/university support thread



## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

I'm not as active here as I used to be though I try to visit every once in a while. In all of that time when I was absent, I somewhat have gotten a life and have been getting all A's in school again. All of that took a lot of trial and error and creating different strategies to help improve my life. It took me nearly four years to get back on my feet and mostly on my own, though I think I could've taken less time if I had other resources especially advice from fellow SA sufferers or people who have formerly suffered from SA. And I know some of you are still trying to adapt to your new surroundings which can be difficult with this horrid disorder when you feel as if other students around you and even some of the faculty can't understand. So I thought I should create a thread where you can ask/post school-related advice, questions on how to succeed, how to prepare for college/university, etc. Heck, you can even just vent and me or someone might just pm you to get your mind away from what's stressing you. I just thought you would find more credibility in people who have experienced this stuff firsthand rather than listen to the advice from a therapist who has never suffered from SA.


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## thetown (Aug 16, 2014)

What are some of your tips on making/maintain friends? What are some of the places that you were able to find good friends? 

I started the year off with the determination to talk to as many people as I possibly could. I realized after a week that this plan doesn't really do me any service because I can't maintain a large social circle, and I ended up losing most of the friendships I made.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Lovecrushed said:


> What are some of your tips on making/maintain friends? What are some of the places that you were able to find good friends?
> 
> I started the year off with the determination to talk to as many people as I possibly could. I realized after a week that this plan doesn't really do me any service because I can't maintain a large social circle, and I ended up losing most of the friendships I made.


Besides the obvious "go to clubs and study with classmates" advice everyone gets tired of hearing, I've had to resort to a few unmentioned, unorthodox ways of making connections.

I had the exact same problem in that I had trouble keeping friendships my first year with people at school. Have you ever tried looking elsewhere for friends besides in class? I found this to be more successful tbh. I became a regular customer at a few coffee shops (this can be off-campus or on-campus) and the baristas started to notice this and initiated conversations with me. If you have already established a safe space for yourself on or off campus, that would be a good place to start. That way you don't feel so threatened.

Also assuming that you're one to not interact with people of your own age well, I found satisfaction in interacting with upperclassmen or even mentors. If they're a TA or professor you can still put your trust in them and share personal things while maintaining a professional relationship. I was very open to my professors about my SA/depression, and the ones who were empathetic with my situation were open to listen to me vent. One had led me to counseling where I started a trusting mother-daughter type of relationship with an on-campus counselor.

If your college offers free counseling including group therapy, take advantage of that. The thought of it may seem intimidating, but you'll meet potential friends dealing with the same issues as you, so they won't pass harsh judgments on you.

If you come to college with SA and the expectation of making friends quickly, you'll likely end up disappointed. I had to accept the fact that making friends would be a slower process for someone as mentally ill as myself. After having that revelation, I've come to make a few meaningful friendships and have grown to be thankful for the small, humble social circle I've been apart of.


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## RondaPorcotti (Apr 4, 2016)

I thought that making friends in college/uni is the best option. Moreover, if I take up some job, I'll be able to make even more friends. But unfortunately it didn't work out since I was just too busy. Things have changed after I met one of the Term Paper Writing Companies and could spend more time with people I knew.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

RondaPorcotti said:


> I thought that making friends in college/uni is the best option. Moreover, if I take up some job, I'll be able to make even more friends. But unfortunately it didn't work out since I was just too busy. Things have changed after I met one of the Term Paper Writing Companies and could spend more time with people I knew.


I would have to somewhat agree. However for some people, making friends on-campus can be a tedious process that will leave them mentally exhausted. Most of my friends go to different schools anyway, but even friends at different institutions can somehow give you the hook up when it comes to career opportunities especially if they're in a similar field as you. Unless they have done something unforgivable to turn the friendship sour, I wouldn't lose touch with old friends from high school and even prior to that. You might need each other again.

My gamer friends have even made meaningful connections on-campus by hanging around the lounges where people bring their video game consoles to play. I've visited many schools and have seen this as a common trend.


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## eukz (Nov 3, 2013)

Looks like a good idea. For us, socializing at college/university can be as hard as passing subjects, and with tiny mistakes you can end up getting depressed and dropping out.


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## Nitrogen (Dec 24, 2012)

I have a lot on my mind recently about university, and my mind keeps flipflopping between majors and what's practical and what isn't. I feel like venting, maybe some consolation, pardon if this is 'inappropriate' but got some things to process.


I was very lonely my first year of college. I fell into a deep depression during my first semester. My roommate was outgoing, but had drinking/drug problems and they would vent and take their anger out on me. Talking openly about how much of a loser I was with friends, how I never went anywhere; just to classes and back to the dorm. I started spending more time in the library, ended up falling asleep a few times in the study rooms. Joined clubs but never made friends. I was a mess and hadn't it been for my campus health services, I probably would have attempted something drastic.

I've soon recovered from that, definitely in a better place now, but admittedly I feel lousy. My gpa is quite low, namely due to my incompetence in mathematics. just turned 20 and compared to other sophomores, I feel behind. I relate more to the freshman just arriving on campus and getting a feel for a new environment, contemplating what they want to do, feeling full of ambition (though I lack that part.) I was considering attending an orientation next fall for freshmen, despite going into the latter half of my sophomore year by credit hours - I still look very young, pass as probably 17/18. Not sure why I crave that so much, maybe it's because I feel less loserly and dejected around new students, almost like starting over with a clean slate. I really do wish I could go back to being 18, knowing what I know now, and establish my first year of university with a better attitude, less depression, more emphasis on grades and attending class. But what's done is done.

Basically, I have no idea if, say in the hypothetical where I could revert back, if I would have even pursued a STEM major at all. I love science, especially chemistry and bio, but I was always terrible at math in high school - this was my downfall and has been my biggest issue in university. I barely passed Calculus with a C. If I were, say, an English major, I'd most likely have a 3.8+ gpa at this moment.

My problem is that.. I don't know really what I want to do. Common problem, yes? Don't most freshmen end up changing their major? Well, yes.. but, I've been through this game many times, speaking to advisers, counselors, classmates and their passions, trying to figure out what I plan on for the future. I've changed my major only twice, my original being Microbiology -> Biomedical; I have a Psych minor, intended to go into pharmacology but I'm feeling too stupid for that. The prospect of medical school makes me want to retreat into a closet and never come out, considering how much undergrad has wrecked me, med school would probably destroy me, if I were even accepted.

I've thought about it a bit more, and I'd love to go into environmental science, or forestry. My botanical science classes were always the ones that captivated my attention and I got the best grades in, but I don't know if that's really what I'd like as a career. The plus side is that the math courses required are already fulfilled for me, but I'd still like to retake a few in attempt to bump up my gpa. Another thing is that, my English and Psych courses have been pieces of cake to me; easy A's, and I wonder, would I be better off forgetting to ever go into science, that I'm not cut out for it, and go into something like Journalism? Writing? The idea of writing and publishing articles for a scientific magazine, say neuroscience, makes me happy - but, how hard is it to make the cut? Again, it leaves me back to the drawing board.

TL;DR......

I should say that I'm very fortunate that my tuition is nearly paid for me in full by scholarships and grants, but I still have incurred debt and feel so miserable for being almost a Junior in college but with a pisspoor grade average, and uncertainty about what the hell I want to do. Am I better off going into a broad field that doesn't carry as much job prospects, like English, and graduate with an amazing GPA, or continue to work myself to the bone for a major/field that I truly love and feel passionate for, yet lack the intelligence and competence for it, to graduate with a mediocre GPA and cross my fingers that I can get into grad school or find a decent entry job after graduation?

I feel totally lost. I feel stupid. Broken down, depressed, and naive. What I would give to be 18 again, to feel as ambitious as I did the moment I walked onto that campus, and not have it all crumble away and end up in a deep, black hole of despair. Either that, or better math skills.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Nitrogen said:


> I have a lot on my mind recently about university, and my mind keeps flipflopping between majors and what's practical and what isn't. I feel like venting, maybe some consolation, pardon if this is 'inappropriate' but got some things to process.
> 
> I was very lonely my first year of college. I fell into a deep depression during my first semester. My roommate was outgoing, but had drinking/drug problems and they would vent and take their anger out on me. Talking openly about how much of a loser I was with friends, how I never went anywhere; just to classes and back to the dorm. I started spending more time in the library, ended up falling asleep a few times in the study rooms. Joined clubs but never made friends. I was a mess and hadn't it been for my campus health services, I probably would have attempted something drastic.
> 
> ...


My sister is an environmental science major and I believe the highest level math class required is precal, which doesn't sound bad at all for someone who claims to struggle with math. There are also so many opportunities with internships. My sister easily can snatch those especially since we live in an area with a ton of parks and beaches. She previously was an anthropology major, but was turned off by all the papers she was required to write. I think she made a wise decision to switch to environmental science. Her chances of landing a job are much higher, and she doesn't have to go to grad school if she chooses not to.

A lot of us have shared the same struggles here on SAS. My gpa went below a 1.0 and I didn't know if I was exactly college material. I feared that I was even going to get kicked out of community college for poor grades. And as much as I aspire to go to grad school, I'm still unsure of how I'll get accepted with my rough history. Especially when I want to go to a school like Duke. Eh, only time will tell.


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## Nitrogen (Dec 24, 2012)

acidicwithpanic said:


> My sister is an environmental science major and I believe the highest level math class required is precal, which doesn't sound bad at all for someone who claims to struggle with math. There are also so many opportunities with internships. My sister easily can snatch those especially since we live in an area with a ton of parks and beaches. She previously was an anthropology major, but was turned off by all the papers she was required to write. I think she made a wise decision to switch to environmental science. Her chances of landing a job are much higher, and she doesn't have to go to grad school if she chooses not to.
> 
> A lot of us have shared the same struggles here on SAS. My gpa went below a 1.0 and I didn't know if I was exactly college material. I feared that I was even going to get kicked out of community college for poor grades. And as much as I aspire to go to grad school, I'm still unsure of how I'll get accepted with my rough history. Especially when I want to go to a school like Duke. Eh, only time will tell.


Thanks for taking the time to reply. Yes, at my university, precal is the highest level math required for Environmental, and even just basic Bio I believe. But even then, it sounds a bit daunting, because thinking about high school.. I can barely even remember Algebra II or whatever high-school level math I took. I was in Calculus or Trig before I graduated, but I managed to barely slide. I live in an area with tons of Forestry, which makes the major itself very popular, and it also only requires up to precalculus. So, it's really only the math part that's holding me back. I spent copious amounts of time in student tutoring centers, but I felt completely lost and ended up withdrawing from my current math course.

I feel like it would do me good to actually forfeit whatever score I had for my university's entrance exam in math, and start from the most elementary math course they offer - but I don't want to be behind. I already feel like I've been dwindling my thumbs and wasting my time, watching my peers graduate early and move onto 300 and 400 level courses while I'm still playing in 200. I know I shouldn't compare myself, but I'm eager to graduate and move on with my life, since college has left a very sour taste in my mouth.

I was thinking about internships, I did a small research project with a psychology professor beginning of sophomore year - but I'd like to maybe do something under a botanist's wing or something catered more to my prospective major. I hope that it can "compensate" for my relatively poor GPA, unless I somehow manage to bring it back up.

I take that you managed to re-enter uni and on a better track? I feel uncertain about graduate school as well, certainly feel like if I ever get to that point - I'm going to be 25 and mentally exhausted with thousands of debt on my shoulders. I don't want to quit university though, I just really want to hunker down, find a major that I'm passionate about, and manage to get good enough grades. I'm at a 2.7 at this moment - it's going to take retaking some courses to get back up to 3.x level.


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