# Talking about Suicide with your Therapist?



## QuakerOats167

Therapists always ask if you're having any suicidal thoughts or anything... Now I want to say yes to this because I have had them and I have thought about it, but never seriously enough to even come close to acting on them. I want to bring it up to her because it's just something I'd like to talk about, but I feel like if I mention it she'll flip out and then things get out of hand as far as what she's required to do at that point. How do you talk to your therapist about suicide without getting sent to an asylum or something? Is it even possible?


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## kc1895

Its completely normal to tell your therapist you're having suicidal thoughts. They are used to hearing these kinds of things, and depending on the severity of your situation, they will take the best action suited to your needs. 

If you're having suicidal ideations but not a suicidal plan, they'll probably try to establish a means of communication or support for when you feel you'll carry out with a plan. Do not worry about getting sent to the psych ward if you are not an immediate threat to yourself or to others.

Just remember that it is better to talk about it and not fearing what their reactions may be. Therapists will only try to help you as long you are comfortable with it.


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## TheCanadian1

EVERYONE has thought about suicide at one point in time... It's one thing to think about it, it's entirely different when you're thinking about it to end some sort of suffering.


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## Keith

Talking about suicidal thoughts with your therapist is a good idea even though it feels awkward to admit that we're having these thoughts.My therapist used to ask me every week if i was having suicidal thoughts but luckily they are few and far between now but at one time they were constant and intrusive.


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## hiimnotcool

*Show Biz by Charles Bukowski*​I can't have it
and you can't have it
and we won't
get it

so don't bet on it
or even think about
it

just get out of bed
each morning

wash
shave
clothe
yourself
and go out into
it

because
outside of that
all that's left is
suicide and
madness

so you just
can't
expect too much

you can't even
expect

so what you do
is
work from a modest
minimal
base

like when you
walk outside
be glad your car
might possibly
be there

and if it is-
that the tires
aren't
flat

then you get
in
and if it
starts--you
start.

and
it's the damndest
movie
you've ever
seen
because
you're
in it--

low budget
and
4 billion
critics

and the longest
run
you ever hope
for
is

one
day.


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## drealm

If it's a professional therapist they will easily be able to distinguish between just thinking about suicide and planning. They shouldn't become hysterical.

When I was in therapy, it worked best when I was 100% honest and didn't filter out anything. I did talk about suicidal thoughts sometimes and there wasn't any backlash. It's not like your therapist is hospitalize you and put you in a straight jacket.

I'd be open, you should be fine. And it will get stuff off your chest.


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## hiimnotcool

drealm said:


> If it's a professional therapist they will easily be able to distinguish between just thinking about suicide and planning. They shouldn't become hysterical.
> 
> When I was in therapy, it worked best when I was 100% honest and didn't filter out anything. I did talk about suicidal thoughts sometimes and there wasn't any backlash. It's not like your therapist is hospitalize you and put you in a straight jacket.
> 
> I'd be open, you should be fine. And it will get stuff off your chest.


On a side note, one time I told my parents I was going to kill myself and they took me to the hospital and I got locked into a room by myself with people guarding the entrance. That was a very interesting time.


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## drealm

hiimnotcool said:


> On a side note, one time I told my parents I was going to kill myself and they took me to the hospital and I got locked into a room by myself with people guarding the entrance. That was a very interesting time.


Sounds pretty rough. I'm guessing your parents felt it was "tough love". Not an easy position to be in for anyone.


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## millenniumman75

QuakerOats167 said:


> Therapists always ask if you're having any suicidal thoughts or anything... Now I want to say yes to this because I have had them and I have thought about it, but never seriously enough to even come close to acting on them. I want to bring it up to her because it's just something I'd like to talk about, but I feel like if I mention it she'll flip out and then things get out of hand as far as what she's required to do at that point. How do you talk to your therapist about suicide without getting sent to an asylum or something? Is it even possible?


For anxiety, this is normal. Even with depression, it is normal. If the thought scares you or you know beyond the shadow of a doubt that you would never go through with it, then you are okay - still, _*tell your doctor*_.
She will not have you committed if this is the case.

If the thought is comforting, that it when it is a problem.


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## hiimnotcool

millenniumman75 said:


> For anxiety, this is normal. Even with depression, it is normal. If the thought scares you or you know beyond the shadow of a doubt that you would never go through with it, then you are okay - still, _*tell your doctor*_.
> She will not have you committed if this is the case.
> 
> If the thought is comforting, that it when it is a problem.


Really? lol that brings to my mind a quote from Nietzsche..

*"The thought of suicide is a great source of comfort; with it a calm passage is to be made across many a bad night."*


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## millenniumman75

If the thought of doing it scares you or annoys you (knowing that you won't do it), then that is a good sign - the thought is just a distraction. If it is persistent, it should be addressed anyway.


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## LostPancake

hiimnotcool said:


> like when you
> walk outside
> be glad your car
> might possibly
> be there


hahaha!


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## UltraShy

I don't think I'll ever be telling my psychiatrist about my gun ownership as some will automatically jump to the idea that this guy has a highly effective means of death readily available.

Of course, the fact that I'm still alive might suggest that I'd prefer to find a life worth living.


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## 00Athena00

Your therapist isn't going to be surprised if you bring it up. You aren't going to be the first person to admit to having suicidal ideations. Just make it clear that though you think about it sometimes, you have no intention to act on those thoughts. It's important that you are honest so she can help you find a way to stop those thoughts from getting worse.

The only way she could have you committed against your will is if you had made up your mind to act on your suicidal thoughts. She legally can't do anything unless she's positive that you are in immediate danger.


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## Pam

If you talk about it in a calm rational way (just like in your post), they shouldn't be tempted to have you committed or anything. Sometimes I read posts on this topic and I am worried about the person. You, I don't feel like you are about to act on it. It sounds more like you just want to be honest about what goes on in your mind than feelings of truly wanting to commit suicide. (I hope I'm right!) Any half-way decent therapist should be able to judge your risk appropriately when you talk to them and they can ask you questions and observe you.

Also, how long have you been seeing her? If a long time, then she already knows you and shouldn't freak out about anything you say.  You'll probably feel relieved after you tell her how you feel. Good luck!


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## QuakerOats167

I've only seen her twice, and talked on the phone with her once... That's partially part of why I'm worried about bringing it up. The first time I spoke with her she told me some of my answers to some little survey instrument were disturbing and suggested suicidal tendencies or something, but I tried to assure her that was not the case. She didn't seem to believe me, but we'll see. I'll try and bring it up to her if I have the courage or if I can find a reason to...


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## VanDamMan

Therapy is a place were you should be honest all the time, ALWAYS.


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## Monroee

VanDamMan said:


> Therapy is a place were you should be honest all the time, ALWAYS.


Except if you're a minor. Only half-joking. I went when I was around 16/17 and when she asked me if I cut or thought of suicide, she said if I said 'yes' than she would be obligated to tell my parents. So my obvious answer was... 'no.'


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## TATA

QuakerOats167 said:


> I've only seen her twice, and talked on the phone with her once... That's partially part of why I'm worried about bringing it up. *The first time I spoke with her she told me some of my answers to some little survey instrument were disturbing and suggested suicidal tendencies or something,* but I tried to assure her that was not the case. She didn't seem to believe me, but we'll see. I'll try and bring it up to her if I have the courage or if I can find a reason to...


it's just a tactic therapists use to make you open up


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## alohomora

hiimnotcool said:


> *Show Biz by Charles Bukowski*​


Very nice poem there by Charles Bukowski! Thanks for sharing...I think it is genuinely helpful for someone in a majorly depressed state...


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## Pam

QuakerOats167 said:


> I've only seen her twice, and talked on the phone with her once... That's partially part of why I'm worried about bringing it up. The first time I spoke with her she told me some of my answers to some little survey instrument were disturbing and suggested suicidal tendencies or something, but I tried to assure her that was not the case. She didn't seem to believe me, but we'll see. I'll try and bring it up to her if I have the courage or if I can find a reason to...


Maybe it's just me, but I don't think she should be making a judgement about you based on *just* a survey. She should be* listening* to you, *believing* you, and getting to know you.

I personally would have been offended if she said my results were "disturbing". I hate that word! 

If you are NOT suicidal, but she already thinks or suspects that you are, then why would you want to bring it up? You'll just have to try extra hard to convince her that you're NOT if you do that.

If you ARE suicidal, then you absolutely should tell her.

Since you just started seeing her, there must be a reason you started. Is it the SA or is it suicidal feelings? It's hard to tell just from these posts. (you don't have to answer that, it's just for you to think about) But WHATEVER or how ever many things are bothering you, you should be honest about and tell her.

I hope it works out!


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## ChadsWick1234

*Doctors*



QuakerOats167 said:


> Therapists always ask if you're having any suicidal thoughts or anything... Now I want to say yes to this because I have had them and I have thought about it, but never seriously enough to even come close to acting on them. I want to bring it up to her because it's just something I'd like to talk about, but I feel like if I mention it she'll flip out and then things get out of hand as far as what she's required to do at that point. How do you talk to your therapist about suicide without getting sent to an asylum or something? Is it even possible?


 First, off if you are over 18 I don't think you can be committed unless you act on it. My therapist ask me the same thing and they just take note of it. But, they have never put me in a hospital. Just remember they are not your friend there job is to make a diagnosis and access your illness. I have been seeing therapist and pysch for years and they really haven't done anything for me. Although I have been given alot of drugs many of them made me worse then better.


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## QuakerOats167

It's not so much that I'd actually feel worried about being "committed" or anything, I mean I know I can stop that from happening... I just don't want her to focus on it if I bring it up, because it's a heavy subject. Plus I don't want this somehow showing up on my academic record or getting to my parents. And she always says how they would have to "do what they think is necessary" if they think someone is in danger...


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## kc1895

If you want to know what your therapist will do when you tell them you're *suicidal*, just ask them. They'll give you an honest answer. Mine has given me a plan with a scale (1-10, 10 being going to commit suicide) and what I should do at each number. (call a friend, call the therapist, go to the hospital etc.)

Be sure to ask them under what circumstances they'll decide to institutionalize you. Communication is always a key to building trust.


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## Spettro

If the therapist freaks out about it instead of discussing I think that would make the situation worse for that person and drive them towards actually killing themselves


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## Pam

If a therapist freaks out about it, it could also be that they have personally had patients attempt or commit suicide before. Or a friend or family member who did. There could be a lot of different reasons for the way they react to it, but still they are supposed to do what's best for the patient, and if you ask me, the patient should have some say in what a successful treatment plan should be. Like, instead of telling us what to do, or shoving medication in our faces, why don't they ask us what we personally would like/what would help. :idea

I just think a lot of therapists think they have the answer, when the answer is really hidden in us. Just my opinion...


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## Pam

QuakerOats167 said:


> It's not so much that I'd actually feel worried about being "committed" or anything, I mean I know I can stop that from happening... *I just don't want her to focus on it if I bring it up, because it's a heavy subject.* Plus I don't want this somehow showing up on my academic record or getting to my parents. And she always says how they would have to "do what they think is necessary" if they think someone is in danger...


But she probably will focus on whatever you bring up--especially if it's a heavy subject! You know? I mean, imagine that a friend of yours was suicidal & brought it up to her and she didn't bother to focus on it? And treated them as if they weren't serious?...See what I mean? They have to take it serious and not sweep it under the rug. They are supposed to "do what they think is neccessary" to save the person's life. It's their job to take what patients say seriously.

As far as getting on your academic record, as far as I know, your therapy & medical records are confidential, so no. About your parents finding out--I don't know the rules on that one.

You could tell her you really want to talk about it, but at the same time you have mixed feelings about it. You could tell her exactly what you wrote--that you want to talk to her about it, but don't want her to focus so hard on it. And just go from there.


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## agent101g

*suicidal thoughts*

You know the sad thing about the suicide issue is that it allows the privacy pact to be broken. I have bipolar disorder, and I've thought about it a lot. However, whenever asked that question by the therapist ('have you had any thoughts about harming yourself?' or "have you been having any suicidal thoughts?') I always answer no, regardless of whether or not that's true, simply because I value my privacy.

I know the way the laws are set up here in the USA in this regard are meant to help prevent suicide, but to me all they do is prevent me from being able to talk about it.

EDIT: Also, even though I've thought about it and fantasized about it, I don't feel like I'd ever do it, ever. I have a very strict spiritual stance against it, because I realize that you're not getting rid of your problems... you're just shoving them off onto everybody else around you. Would I want my little sister asking herself, for the rest of her life, what she could have done to prevent it? Heck no. Still, I'd like to be able to talk about these things without worrying about hospitalization and such, and it seems like therapists and psychiatrists react to any possibility of suicide as if it were a guarantee. And what's the one way to guarantee prevention of suicide? Deny the person their freedom, and watch them like a hawk, maybe put them in a padded cell. Every one of those things scares the living daylights out of me, as I value my freedom to go where I please and do what I wish, within reason, above all else.


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## UltraShy

agent101g said:


> You know the sad thing about the suicide issue is that it allows the privacy pact to be broken....
> 
> I know the way the laws are set up here in the USA in this regard are meant to help prevent suicide, but to me all they do is prevent me from being able to talk about it.


I'd agree 100% that this prevents people most in need from talking openly about their feelings. I think being involuntarily committed for being a "threat" to yourself is an egregious violation of your most basic human rights. In my view you can't murder yourself any more than you can rape yourself.

I also suspect it's not likely effective, since next time they'll just be smart enough to not discuss their plans of death. Short of watching somebody like a hawk 24/7 forever you can't stop those who are determined. But perhaps you could help them if they knew they could say anything at all without risk of being turned into a prisoner in a nut house.


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## millenniumman75

The doctors would be able to assess whether or not it would be an issue.


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## meyaj

I have told like 4 different doctors + my therapist that I've being feel suicidal, and they've never even hinted at committing me. They usually even asked if I had any specific plans, and I'd explain exactly how I'd do it. I've also made it clear that the only reason I haven't already done it is for fear of messing it up (surviving with even worse circumstances), and the impact it might have on my family. As long as they don't think you have any concrete, IMMEDIATE plans to do so, they generally can't do anything about it.

I think it's important to let them know if you're feeling suicidal though. For one, it's the only way to give them a clear picture of the severity of what you're going through, and also they might be able to help you.

I've had a hard time discussing a lot of stuff with my pdoc and therapist, but suicidal feelings were something I've been honest about since day 1. Yet even to this day, it's nearly impossible to talk to them about stuff that might make me feel embarrassed.


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## kev

Therapists are basically required to ask if you are suicidal if they are aware you are depressed. If you have suicidal thoughts but do not have a specific plan, I don't think your therapist will take any extreme actions. 

If you have a specific suicidal plan and you are a minor, your therapist might be required to contact your parents (however, I'm not exactly sure of the legalities)

In any case, you should be honest with your therapist. If you have suicidal ideation and not intention, then you will probably not be hospitalized. If you have specific plans, then you may be hospitalized if you are a minor, but sometimes hospitalization is the best way to receive the best treatment.


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## Fuzzy Logic

NEVER tell anyone you are feeling suicidal or have had suicidal thoughts. I don't know about those of you living in America or elsewhere, but here in the UK we have something called the Mental Health Act that basically strips you of all your individual rights if you are deemed a hazard to yourself. If you value your civil liberties at all you are well advised to keep quiet about it.

Also, if you ever decide you do want to commit to suicide, having told people about it in the past will make you a lot less likely to succeed with whatever your plan may be.


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## mark555666

VanDamMan said:


> Therapy is a place were you should be honest all the time, ALWAYS.


Agree and tell everything. Too bad I failed at therapy. 
...but telling about suicidal plans I don't know.
Just say what you feel (severely depressed) that should be a sign for them.


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