# Would you have let him in?



## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Tonight(just minutes ago), on my way home, I met a guy in my apartment building who asked if he could come into my apartment and recharge his phone. He went inside the elevator with me and then said that he was visiting his friend, but that it turns out that he's stuck at work for a couple of hours. He wanted to call him, but his phone had died. In his defense, I had seen him outside of the house fiddling with his phone, as I left the house like 10 min earlier to go to the store. I said "hi" as I passed him, too.

I live in a neighborhood where there's a lot of crime, so my immediate response was "I'm sorry, but I don't feel comfortable letting a stranger into my house". I would literally be ****ed if he did anything upon entering my house.

Him: "Do I look like a criminal?"(implying that it had to do with his skin colour I think)
Me: "It has nothing to do with you as a person, I don't feel comfortable letting anyone into my house. I'm really sorry." etc

Then I missed my stop and I had to keep riding the elevator up and down again, while he guilt tripped me saying stuff like "I guess people are different".

I wouldn't have felt bad now if it wasn't for the fact that he was black, because now I feel like he think THATS why I didn't want to let him in. Nothing could be further from the truth. I wouldn't have let any man inside my house, probably not a woman, either. I've heard of similar strategies to get into people's houses to rob them.

What would you have done? Would you have let him in?


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

No. He sounded fishy. You would have taken an unnecessary risk allowing him in. No matter his colour.

Even riding the elevator alone, with a stranger, poses a big risk.


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## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

Surely there were outlets somewhere else in the apartment building?


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Corporal Clegg said:


> Surely there were outlets somewhere else in the apartment building?


Only inside the apartments.


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## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

No way. This goes towards any gender at night when I'm alone and do not know you. If it's an emergency I'll dial 911.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

I wouldn't.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Now I'm feeling a bit paranoid that he saw which apartment I went into(assuming that he had intended to rob me).


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## Dre12 (Jul 25, 2014)

There is a lot of crime in Sweden? I thought it was some liberal love fest where people have naked saunas with their neighbours and stuff.

Yes, you absolutely did the right thing. That he kept on about it is seriously off. Every man knows that a woman would be very uncomfortable in that situation. Don't worry about it.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

probably offline said:


> Tonight(just minutes ago), on my way home, I met a guy in my apartment building who asked if he could come into my apartment and recharge his phone. He went inside the elevator with me and then said that he was visiting his friend, but that it turns out that he's stuck at work for a couple of hours. He wanted to call him, but his phone had died. In his defense, I had seen him outside of the house fiddling with his phone, as I left the house like 10 min earlier to go to the store. I said "hi" as I passed him, too.
> 
> I live in a neighborhood where there's a lot of crime, so my immediate response was "I'm sorry, but I don't feel comfortable letting a stranger into my house". I would literally be ****ed if he did anything upon entering my house.
> 
> ...


If you have seen him before, then it would be a little bit different. You could have just as easily pointed him to an outlet where he could have charged his phone.

I can understand his offense, but if he is not familiar with the neighborhood and you are, then that is a different story.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

He would be so disappointed if he robbed me, though. I literally just used my last money. I have like 10 SEK left somewhere. The only thing I could imagine that he would steal in my flat is my laptop and my tv(which he wouldn't be able to get much for). My 5-year-old laptop with a broken screen. Mmm dolla dolla. Maybe I could struggle a bit so he'd kill me, though. That would be nice.


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## Aribeth (Jan 14, 2012)

No way. Don't let strangers in your house. You did the right thing. And don't feel bad if he thinks it's cause of his skin color. That says more about him, than about you. Getting refused = something to do with his color? Yeah, right. As if it was normal to let strangers in your house anyway. He should've been like "yeah I understand, no worries" instead of trying to guilt you. That's how you know it was shady.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

no way. no emergency = not getting in.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

There must be someplace else to charge a phone around there.


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

probably offline said:


> He would be so disappointed if he robbed me, though.


There are far worse things than being robbed.



probably offline said:


> Maybe I could struggle a bit so he'd kill me, though. That would be nice.


As for killing you, I doubt it would be a fast painless one, something to wish for.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

sad vlad said:


> There are far worse things than being robbed.


Hmm? I was just saying that I don't have anything of value to steal.


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

probably offline said:


> Hmm? I was just saying that I don't have anything of value to steal.


I was just saying robbery is only one of the possibilities. Many times, even if it starts with robbery it can end with a beating, torture, rape and/or murder.


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

Wouldn't surprise me if he's stalking you right now...


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

I guess I'll sleep sitting up with the kitchen knife in my hand.


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## typemismatch (May 30, 2012)

Hmm, so it didn't sound too bad at first. He maybe really needed his phone charged and didn't know what else to do but ask someone. But at the point where he is rightly refused, you would then expect him to be apologetic, sheepish, but instead he becomes passive aggressive, and tries to make you feel bad. That is way out of order. Hard to know whether he is just uncivilised or up to no good. And if he was somehow thinking that it was because he is black then he probably goes around thinking everything that goes wrong for him in life is because he is black.


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## East (Jul 22, 2013)

hell _ no_ that is wicked shady


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

You did nothing wrong. He was just having a bad day and was venting through his own bigotry. Or he's just a dumbace who can't see why it isn't strange letting a stranger into their home.


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## Remnant of Dawn (Feb 22, 2012)

No way in hell would I let him in.

I don't care if you're white, black, a man, a woman, work with some church or charity or the government doing a survey or whatever. I'm paranoid like that.


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

No. 
If he found out that his friend would be stuck at work for a few hours still, you'd assume in that period of time he'd go back to his own home and charge the phone there and then call him. Or go to a cafe or wherever to pass the time and charge the phone there. 
But instead he seemed to think that asking a stranger if he could enter their apartment and then gets pissy when denied that access... behaviour like that would make even the best samaritan wonder for the possible ulterior motives.


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

I'm sure there is a way to recharge his phone at a store or other public establishment, if he wants to intrude in the privacy of others just because of his inability to handle his own responsibilites and actually charge his phone beforehand and claim "racism!" then he can go **** himself.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

That sounds like a horrible situation OP >.< I wouldn't let anyone I didn't know in, especially if I was living alone.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Persephone The Dread said:


> That sounds like a horrible situation OP >.< I wouldn't let anyone I didn't know in, especially if I was living alone.


Yeah, me neither.
If it were in the days of landlines and somebody just needed to make a quick call, that'd maybe be ok, but having to recharge their phone which takes longer... I'll have to pass. And it doesn't sound like he did much to help trust and confidence in this case either.
That said, I don't think there's any reason to start worrying about what he might have intended to do either or things that could potentially have happened. It's ok to be cautious and sometimes turn away people even when they have no bad intentions if it makes you uncomfortable. And I think you'll feel better if you can tell that to yourself and assure yourself that it's ok to have it that way, rather than starting to wonder what bad things he would have done.


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

Don't feel guilty. I wouldn't let a complete randomer in my house either.


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## zomgz (Aug 17, 2009)

Probably, but only because I'm naive as a mother****er.


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

Nope. The way he was acting afterwards makes it sound like you made a good decision. Also, wouldn't most people just ask to borrow someones phone, or go to a place where they can use someones phone rather than ask to come into a strangers apartment and use their outlet? Odd.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

andy1984 said:


> no way. no emergency = not getting in.


The most calculating of criminals would use the emergency ruse. Whether it's a phone thing or something urgent, it seems like the risk would be the same.



probably offline said:


> Then I missed my stop and I had to keep riding the elevator up and down again


Sounds like a long ride.

Stuff like this is why I prefer the stairs. Elevator chats --> uggggggh

_"Can I come in and recharge my phone?"_ Seems odd? Wouldn't the phone take time to recharge? Why not ask if he could use _your _phone or if _you_ could call his friend for him? Maybe overthinking, maybe not. Better to be safe than sorry here. He wouldn't be getting in my house, either.


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## cmed (Oct 17, 2009)

No way. If I were feeling generous I might've offered to let him use my phone to make the call (would be an interesting way to see if he was bs'ing.) No way I'd let a stranger into my home though, and it's a little suspicious that he got all defensive like that after you refused.


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## Amethyst Forest (Jul 29, 2012)

Not a chance. I do not let _anybody_ I don't know into my home, regardless of their race or gender. You absolutely did the right thing there. The fact that he continued making passive aggressive remarks after you said that you don't feel comfortable definitely raises a red flag, and it sounds to me like he was just playing the race card to try to guilt you into letting him in. He most likely had more in mind than charging his phone.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

If you were the only one in at the time (I'm assuming that's the case) then hell no do you let a stranger in with you lol. Particularly one that could potentially over power you .


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## SD92 (Nov 9, 2013)

Definitey not. I'd pretend to not have a charger or I'd say it's broken.


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

Yeah, guilt trips and manipulation to try to make you do something you gave a perfectly valid reason for not doing. He wasn't a very tolerant person even if by the wild chance he was being sincere.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

No f'ing way. Anybody who can't understand why you wouldn't want to let them into your apartment is exactly the kind of person you don't want in your apartment.


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## MCHB (Jan 1, 2013)

probably offline said:


> I guess I'll sleep sitting up with the kitchen knife in my hand.


I always thought you did that anyway! :duck

And no. I wouldn't let him in. If it was someone I knew better or recognized, then sure.


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## SummerRae (Nov 21, 2013)

Only if he offered sex


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## Lone Drifter (Jul 10, 2014)

Amphoteric said:


> No.
> If he found out that his friend would be stuck at work for a few hours still, you'd assume in that period of time he'd go back to his own home and charge the phone there and then call him. Or go to a cafe or wherever to pass the time and charge the phone there.
> But instead he seemed to think that asking a stranger if he could enter their apartment and then gets pissy when denied that access... behaviour like that would make even the best samaritan wonder for the possible ulterior motives.


This ^

Even if I were in his shoes, asking a woman living on her own if I could go into her apartment to charge my phone would be the last thing on my mind. That's just plain creepy and any man who thinks it normal needs to get his head checked. I'm the sort of guy who still crosses to the other side of the road at night if there is just me and a women walking the same route.


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## Kind Of (Jun 11, 2014)

No, and I know from experience that I tend not to panic and cry in bad situations.

Doesn't matter if I'd try to bite his nose off his face if he leaned in to kiss me during rape (I have thought about this and it is my go-to), wouldn't be worth it. A high crime area is a high crime area. There is always the possibility that someone is armed.

Wall outlets in the hall? Take his phone and recharge it? Use your phone to make a call?


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

No way in hell I would let a stranger into my place. I don't have that kind of naivety. Being robbed ( and possibly butt raped ) and murdered isn't how I want to go.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Gut instinct always in those situations. Here I would have let him in but only because crime is extremely low but given isn't for you, I can't imagine letting him in as an option.


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## scooby (Jun 24, 2009)

I'd probably let him in if I was in that situation, which is a dumb idea. Reaction would say yes, but if I were to actually have a chance to think rationally in the moment I wouldn't do it.


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## Owl-99 (Mar 7, 2012)

zomgz said:


> Probably, but only because I'm naive as a mother****er.


I didn't know that mods where allowed to swear.


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## hughjames95 (Sep 21, 2013)

I wouldn't have felt comfortable in that situation........... and i'm a guy.


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## Ruderz (Jan 27, 2015)

Definitely not. Dodgy as hell.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

I'm a strong man and i don't let anyone i don't know in my apartment. Can't trust nobody these days. Either that or i watch too many horror films :b


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

If I lived alone and my valuables were out of sight, I might have, depending on my mood. That's just me, and I'm baller, so. Then again, it's more likely that I would have come up with a solution to his problem that didn't involve *compromising my privacy and secrets lol.


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## cocooned (Jun 29, 2014)

No, you dont owe anybody anything.


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## Gavroche (Jan 12, 2013)

probably offline said:


> Tonight(just minutes ago), on my way home, I met a guy in my apartment building who asked if he could come into my apartment and recharge his phone. He went inside the elevator with me and then said that he was visiting his friend, but that it turns out that he's stuck at work for a couple of hours. He wanted to call him, but his phone had died. In his defense, I had seen him outside of the house fiddling with his phone, as I left the house like 10 min earlier to go to the store. I said "hi" as I passed him, too.
> 
> I live in a neighborhood where there's a lot of crime, so my immediate response was "I'm sorry, but I don't feel comfortable letting a stranger into my house". I would literally be ****ed if he did anything upon entering my house.
> 
> ...


I'd be inclined not to let him in, it seems like a suspicious excuse and convenient that the friend happens to be at work for a couple of hours. There are plenty of public places that I'm sure would allow him to put his phone in for a bit. In fact, I think I'd offer to let him use my phone to call his friend, if he refused or made an excuse then you would know something was off about him and that maybe he just wanted to get into your apartment.

Also, as a guest in the building wouldn't he be allowed to simply plug his phone into some random outlet in the lobby or hallway?

I'd be careful in the future, from what you say this guy doesn't sound like the most savory of characters. I wouldn't have an attitude about someone denying that request he made, I'd completely understand and apologize for even inconveniencing them by asking.


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## wrongnumber (May 24, 2009)

It would be incredibly stupid to let him in. He shouldn't have asked.

Does the poll mean whether the voter would let a male / female in, or whether a voter is male / female?


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Why didn't he just go to f*****g starbucks to recharge his phone?


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

I would've said " I don't know you and I don't like you maybe if I knew you better I'd like you but I don't so don't bother me again "


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## WhoDey85 (Sep 6, 2006)

No, I wouldn't have let him in my house. You shouldn't feel bad about that. The way he reacted was fishy. I probably would have let him dial my phone to try to call his friend before he reacted that way.


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## forgetmylife (Oct 1, 2011)

"Do I look like a criminal?"

that is quite an odd response imo. almost like he's getting mad cuz you said no
makes it sound like he's got something up his sleeve...

you can find power outlets literally anywhere 
outside, public places, etc.


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## burgerchuckie (May 31, 2012)

You did the right thing. He could've gone to a friend or a public establishment but instead he approached a person he doesn't know personally. Fishy indeed.

Anyway, I accidentally clicked Yes. Dammit :lol


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## Esteban (Dec 8, 2014)

No way. His guilt trip would have made me angry, too. Manipulative piece of ****.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

I don't learn things too fast but over the decades, I've (sort of) learned to trust my instincts (though it takes a lot of effort to keep it in mind all the time). 

I have observed that there's something in a person's mind somewhere that tries to send up some kind of a warning when something is shady. Even if it's not obviously shady to your conscious mind. I can remember so many times when people approached me with odd requests or they just started interacting with me in a way that seemed out of place. 

I rarely ever used to pay any attention to that little voice but I found that when I didn't, something (more or less) unpleasant was usually the result. 

I wouldn't spend any time feeling bad about saying no if I were you. Sounds shady.


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## Famous (Sep 6, 2011)

*voted*

I wouldn't have let him in.


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## Apathie (Dec 21, 2013)

probably offline said:


> Tonight(just minutes ago), on my way home, I met a guy in my apartment building who asked if he could come into my apartment and recharge his phone. He went inside the elevator with me and then said that he was visiting his friend, but that it turns out that he's stuck at work for a couple of hours. He wanted to call him, but his phone had died. In his defense, I had seen him outside of the house fiddling with his phone, as I left the house like 10 min earlier to go to the store. I said "hi" as I passed him, too.
> 
> I live in a neighborhood where there's a lot of crime, so my immediate response was "I'm sorry, but I don't feel comfortable letting a stranger into my house". I would literally be ****ed if he did anything upon entering my house.
> 
> ...


Of course not. And i don't understand why you'd feel guilty either.
I also would have made sure that he didn't see which apartment i went into. But i guess people are different.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

No, and I'd call the police + landlord and report him.

It sounds like you dodged a bullet there OP.

No one just innocently asks (not just asks, but tries to _pressure_) a woman he doesn't know to allow him into her apartment. He's dodgy as ****!


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Yeah, who would ask a woman for that? You'd think if they have any brains they'd ask a guy.


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

I'd let a woman in to charge her phone. This sort of happened to me, but not quite the same.

A girl I'd just met from online and had over for sex left afterwards, and then she came back like 10 minutes later knocking on my door asking to come in again saying her phone died and she needed to charge it, haha. I should have been bold and proposed we do something while she waited for it.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

Hell no.

How does he know if his friend is stuck at work if his phone is dead?


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## am4561 (Feb 23, 2015)

No, I wouldn't have let him in. Something similar happened to me.
I was dog sitting for my sister at her house while she was away. I went to the store one day and as I turned down her street there was a guy on the other side of the street (about 18 years old). He ended up behind me, and when I got to her house and was getting the key out, he said, "excuse me",
and asked if I had a phone he could use. I just kind of pretended not to hear him since he was at the bottom of the driveway. I mumbled, "I 
don't think so". I felt bad after because I could have just given him my cell phone but felt too awkward. I definitely wouldn't have let him in the house but it all just happened so fast. I'm sure he thought it was to do with his skin color, but I know I would have done the same if the guy was white.
I just felt weird because he was probably perfectly fine. I'm just not comfortable giving anyone my phone or letting people in, especially
when I'm alone.


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