# How important is weight?



## Mehitabel (Oct 13, 2006)

I hate freaking out about my weight so much because I know I'm just media brainwashed. I'm wondering how other people honestly feel.

How much does a partner's weight matter to you? Do they have to have zero fat? Is it fine as long as they're not obese? Do you like a bit of fat?

Tell me if you're talking about a male or female partner.


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

In all honesty, a guy's body fat (or lack of it) doesn't really play a huge part in how I feel about him. I've been with guys of all shapes and sizes. For me, it's mostly about how we relate to each other, common interests and how he treats me.


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## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

It depends, I do care about leading a healthy lifestyle and I'd like for the partner to have the same mentallity, with that said the guy doesent have to be ripped with oiled up washboard abs, I've been attracted to different body types from tall and lanky, to someone with a spare tire, its all good. At the end you'll find out that your perspective will change over time as you grow to love them inside out.


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## barnabas (Apr 24, 2007)

It rarely matters as long as you got personality, methinks. Though if you're not in the obese range you'll probably feel more confident yourself.


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## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

I'd like her body type to somewhat match mine, and don't want her to weigh much more than me, so I can toss her around a bit. 

Fat is fine (and greatly preferred over supermodel-skinny), but I don't like a thick layer of soft and squishy.


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## Airick10 (May 10, 2007)

Honestly, Obesity and being skin and bones are both turn-offs to me. I am active on a regular basis and I would want a partner to be at least somewhat fit as well, so yeah it does matter to me.


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

Honestly, unless it's at an extreme point, like the 1000 lbs people you see on Maury Povich that can no longer leave their homes, I don't really care. As long as you can get around without a cane, scooter or crane, it's fine with me. And yes, I'm talking about women.

I sincerely have been attracted women of all shapes and sizes. One of my highschool crushes outweighed me by at least 40 lbs. I certainly found her physically attractive, but it was her personality that got me the most. It's too bad I was such a wimp back then. Overall I have definitely been attracted to more overweight (as society would classify them) women than anything else. Give me a bigger chick rather than a skinny one any day. 

Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure I'm in the minority on this.

It's a ****ing shame what the media has done. You don't fit a certain type and mold and you're considered a second rate citizen. I have a ton of respect for people who can see through this bull****.


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## SilentProphet (Jun 1, 2007)

Well you seemed like the perfect size weight from the pics i saw of you mehitabel, so don't turn into one of those crazy people who fasts and turns into a skeleton.

I'm a small guy so i don't like BIG girls, if i was a big guy i would like big girls. So weight is important to a point that the girl isn't bigger than me, Cause then that would just look ridiculous. So figure i'm 5'5" 155( weighed myself yesterday) i'd like a girl under 5'5" in the 115-145 range. So i guess weight is sorta important to me :stu


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## GraceLikeRain (Nov 9, 2003)

*Re: re: How important is weight?*



leppardess said:


> In all honesty, a guy's body fat (or lack of it) doesn't really play a huge part in how I feel about him.


 :agree


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## mserychic (Oct 2, 2004)

Besides for looking like a skeleton it doesn't really matter to me. I usually like chics on the bigger side :stu


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## Whimsy (Mar 16, 2006)

Weight matters a guy with a beer belly is a huge turn off.


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

njodis said:


> It's a @#%$ shame what the media has done. You don't fit a certain type and mold and you're considered a second rate citizen. I have a ton of respect for people who can see through this bull****.


 :agree totally...


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## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

I've mentioned this before, but I like big girls... but I don't like fat ones (like sickly has-trouble-moving fat.)

Anywhere from 130-160 with some nice thighs/legs and a good arse. Ayeeee! :banana


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## mserychic (Oct 2, 2004)

*Re: re: How important is weight?*



sean88 said:


> I've mentioned this before, but I like big girls... but I don't like fat ones (like sickly has-trouble-moving fat.)
> 
> Anywhere from 130-160 with some nice thighs/legs and a good arse. Ayeeee! :banana


In what world is 130 considered big?!


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

honestly, i've liked guys who were slightly chubby and very skinny... i do have my preferences and i am less attracted to really big guys... i mean muscles and/or fat. of course though the personality plays a big factor. 
haha... by what i wrote it sounds like i meet tons of guys and have such a variety to chose from... the only times i talk to guys is one word conversations at work and i am always anxious and can't make eye contact.


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## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

*Re: re: How important is weight?*



mserychic said:


> sean88 said:
> 
> 
> > I've mentioned this before, but I like big girls... but I don't like fat ones (like sickly has-trouble-moving fat.)
> ...


It is if they're short. =D

I'm 135 lbs, and I'm pretty beefy. 5'5. lol


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## mserychic (Oct 2, 2004)

*Re: re: How important is weight?*



sean88 said:


> mserychic said:
> 
> 
> > sean88 said:
> ...


I'm 130, 5'5" and pretty scrawny :con


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## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

*Re: re: How important is weight?*



mserychic said:


> sean88 said:
> 
> 
> > mserychic said:
> ...


5'5 is my estimate, not like from the doctor anything... way to rain on my parade, I'm probably shorter... lol


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## AJFA88 (Jun 16, 2007)

Overweight isnt a problem, unless it becomes to the point where there is so much body fat that the person simply cannot fuction well during normal physical activities. I've seen plenty of obese man and woman engage in relationships, so at the end of the day it all comes down to one's own taste and likes. :stu 

I'm always attracted to average or thin looking girls. My ex wasnt good looking at all but her personality really really hooked me into her


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## Mayflower 2000 (Nov 11, 2003)

nevermind, im too off topic :fall


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Mehitabel said:


> I hate freaking out about my weight so much because I know I'm just media brainwashed. I'm wondering how other people honestly feel.
> 
> How much does a partner's weight matter to you? Do they have to have zero fat? Is it fine as long as they're not obese? Do you like a bit of fat?
> 
> Tell me if you're talking about a male or female partner.


If I'm being honest being overweight is the main turn off for me. I don't know if it's because I work my tail off at the gym or what. Not saying I need some crazily slender girl but don't want someone way overweight. That's one of the only physical characteristics that can turn me off.


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

I would say that it does play a part. But you can't put a number on it. There are tall girls, short girls, big girls and skinny girls, and there is someone out there that would love each and every one of them. Girls do tend to put too much emphasis on it though. 5 or 10 lbs won't change someone's mind as to weather they would ask you out or not.

That being said, we all would probably like someone similar to ourselves in terms of activity level, weight, and physical appearance.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Skinny to chubby. Not too muscular or too fat basically.
A guy with a bit of a belly is sexy IMO.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

my rule, i wont be fat if they dont. I dont like fat on girls, but thats just my preference.


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## aviator99 (Nov 23, 2006)

Weight is important to me...cant be overweight. Much of my family is pretty judgemental too, I know everyone would be commenting if i'd ever go out with someone who had weight issues. 

Needless to say i'm not attracted to anyone thats overweight, the more overweight the less attracted I am...so no biggy on the judgemental factor from my relatives/family members. 

I like slim girls, but not petite (or boney)....has to be just right. Fill in the spots that are supposed to be filled in. 

I'm lean (138 pounds) 5'9 with my body mass index dead center on what its supposed to be so I expect something of the same from a girl.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

scairy said:


> If I'm being honest being overweight is the main turn off for me. I don't know if it's because I work my tail off at the gym or what....


 :agree

Being overweight is a dealbreaker for me. And I too bust my rear working out every week. I'm out in my garage 3x a week in the roasting hot summers, freezing winters, when I'm sick, not in the mood after a long day of work, etc. Nothing stops me from working out. I've made it a mandatory part of my life. Exercise to most people is an "option" for when their in the mood, and that's why they can never stick with it. Or once they reach their "goal", they stop and revert right back to their poor eating habits, etc.

At age 26, I'm in the best shape of my life. I still don't have an "Ambercrombie" model body, but I bet I'm in better shape than 90% of the male population.

SA has pretty much eliminated the possibility of dating, but hypothetically speaking, if I was going to ever get a GF, I would highly prefer one that works out and knows about proper nutrition. That's the kind of person that will never let themselves go.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

You should have asked,
"Why would you weigh the weight of weight?"
Where I would have wondered would.


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## ShyFX (Mar 6, 2006)

Weight is somewhat important to me. Honestly, obesity turns me off. I don't mind if a girl is a bit over weight or chubby. I'd rather date a chubby girl than a girl who's all skin and bones.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

I have to say that weight matters. I would never date someone who is fat. I would date a girl who is, for lack of a better word, "thick" (think Kelly Clarkson or Rachael Ray). A girl who is anorexic skinny is also not attractive whatsoever.


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## justlistening (Dec 4, 2006)

Weight is not really important, but in a way it is because lifestyle and view towards food matters to me. I'm not attracted to girls who watch their diet and exercise out of vanity, the whole idea of that is just not me.

I think women look at their best at _their _normal weight, whether it's 120 or 170 pounds.


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

Yeah, having a "fit" body it is really important to me. It isn't a specific # though, I see so many people say 5 foot something, 140 pounds or whatever, that really tells me nothing. Body fat %, body type, loose skin are also factors, not just weight. It is important and I would say for the vast majority of guys out there, that is very important. Also, unless you have a disfigured face or something, I think with make up and great hair women can do a lot of wonderful things with their face that makes it attractive and having a killer body to support this helps polish it up, but you can only cover up so much fat with your clothes...I mean really. 

I'm shallow but physical attractiveness is important. Weight is important. I don't want to date a woman who is larger than me.

I've honestly met, very few butter faces in my time. Aside, from the Howard Stern show.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

ShyFX said:


> Weight is somewhat important to me. Honestly, obesity turns me off. I don't mind if a girl is a bit over weight or chubby. I'd rather date a chubby girl than a girl who's all skin and bones.


True. I haven't hugged enough girls to know now that i think of it. All the slender ones feel tiny and fragile. Perhaps I should hug more often to get a better idea of what the ideal is :b


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Prodigal Son said:


> Yeah, having a "fit" body it is really important to me. It isn't a specific # though, I see so many people say 5 foot something, 140 pounds or whatever, that really tells me nothing. Body fat %, body type, loose skin are also factors, not just weight. It is important and I would say for the vast majority of guys out there, that is very important. Also, unless you have a disfigured face or something, I think with make up and great hair women can do a lot of wonderful things with their face that makes it attractive and having a killer body to support this helps polish it up, but you can only cover up so much fat with your clothes...I mean really.
> 
> I'm shallow but physical attractiveness is important. Weight is important. I don't want to date a woman who is larger than me.
> 
> I've honestly met, very few butter faces in my time. Aside, from the Howard Stern show.


I've heard people comment on women saying they're butterfaces. a nd I'm sitting there scratching my head. They aren't ugly. They may not have a perfect face but they're body figure is amazing.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Everything looks good "but her = butter" face, meaning she's ugly, but her body is hot.

Some guys will excuse an ugly face if she has a hot bod.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

*Re: re: How important is weight?*



sean88 said:


> mserychic said:
> 
> 
> > sean88 said:
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LOL what! I doubt that. I've seen your pictures before and judging from that FAR from it.


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## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

lol... I'm too short. =(


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

I'm not sure really. This hasn't really applied to me. My boyfriend is pretty skinny and it doesn't really bother me. It depends I guess. If he starts to eat unhealthy and gains really bad weight, I'd not only be turned off, but concerned too. It won't happen though because he has an unusually high metabolism.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

*Re: re: How important is weight?*



sean88 said:


> lol... I'm too short. =(


Aw. It's all right though. Are you still growing?


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## Your Lover Scrub Ducky (Jul 26, 2004)

Depends I guess... Obesity turns me off, stick-thin girls turn me off. Girls that are extremely fit with rippling 6 packs turn me off ...Some belly fat can be cute. I just like normal girls, somewhere in between. i definately like being able to get my arms all the way around her and pick her up and stuff so obesity probably turns me off the most. but i mean if some girl has the perfect body type i would want its not like i would automatically want to date her, and if a girl doesnt necessarily have the body type i prefer but is a good person all around id still be open to dating her.


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## TokyoJ (Sep 17, 2005)

I got a little bit of meat on my bones and I just got ''gasp'' a couple stretch marks on my tummy.

So I got the weight thing going against me and now that. I read you gotta have surgery to get rid of em too. And that will never happen so I'm stuck with em. 

:afr


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## Mehitabel (Oct 13, 2006)

Thanks for all the replies, guys. It's good to see that there's people who aren't media brainwashed. It seems like weight preferences are as personal as anything. 

I've debated over all kind of diets, and been disgusted by myself every time I eat. I've considered before just saying 'screw it'. I don't want to be brainwashed anymore. And now that I see how people would react to my weight, I feel so much better. 

I can't believe I'm gonna put this here, but for the record I'm 5'7" and 145. I've basically always been the same proprtiorional chubbyness. I'm gonna start being nicer to myself. :boogie


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

Sounds just about perfect to me. :b


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## Nae (Nov 10, 2003)

Mehitabel said:


> I can't believe I'm gonna put this here, but for the record I'm 5'7" and 145. I've basically always been the same proprtiorional chubbyness. I'm gonna start being nicer to myself. :boogie


145 @ 5'7" isn't something to fret about. I suppose it can depend upon how that weight is distributed, body frame, tone, etc, which factors into how you ultimately look but any which way...it's rather far from unhealthy-looking overweightness. Which is imo (obesity) a turn off.

I do believe I just invented two new words.


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

At 145/5'7" you would be more attractive if you didn't worry or were concerned about your weight at all.

If a guy would like you enough to ask you out if you weighed 135, but wouldn't give you a second glance at 145, isn't a guy that cares about the real you.


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## GlueEater (Nov 16, 2006)

It's kinda funny, I"m 5"11 and I weigh about 190. But I'm not terribly fat. A good chunk (funny) of that is muscle. But I have a layer of fat around that muscle. I can do more sit ups than most people I know but I still have jiggling.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

I'm 6'0" and am now down to 185 (or 180 without clothes & shoes), a weight I hadn't seen in the last 20 years.

From age 16 to 32 I averaged around 240 (going from 220 as a low to 289 as the ultimate high). I ran tons of personal ads years ago, and I damn well know that most women do look at weight. I seriously doubt that I just by coincidence got mostly replies from obese women when I ran ads stating my weight as 240. Unless the general female population is over 80% obese, I'm sure it was a case of fat guy gets reply from fat girl.


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

Mehitabel said:


> I'm gonna start being nicer to myself. :boogie


There have been some good things said in this thread, but this is the best.


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## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

I like women who are into a healthy lifestyle and not obese, but fitness fanatics are a turnoff, especially if they think I should exercise too! :lol


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

*Re: re: How important is weight?*



Maslow said:


> I like women who are into a healthy lifestyle and not obese, but fitness fanatics are a turnoff, especially if they think I should exercise too! :lol


Yeah, imagine that.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Weight doesn't really matter to me. As long as she's healthy, it's all good.


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## Nihlanth (Sep 1, 2004)

It's not so much as the weight that is important........it's the proportions that is the most important.

A girl that is almost as tall as I am and is curvy and moderately meaty/chubby but has the right proportions (hip-to-shoulder-towaist ratio , and cute face) can be very attractive, even if she weighs as much as or a little more than I do.

However, a really short, flabby girl with less than optimal proportions (even if she weighs less than the girl mentioned above) can be unattractive.


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## Your Lover Scrub Ducky (Jul 26, 2004)

*Re: re: How important is weight?*



UltraShy said:


> I'm 6'0" and am now down to 185 (or 180 without clothes & shoes), a weight I hadn't seen in the last 20 years.


Congrats on the weight loss! 
:clap


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

Mehitabel said:


> I hate freaking out about my weight so much because I know I'm just media brainwashed. I'm wondering how other people honestly feel.
> 
> How much does a partner's weight matter to you? Do they have to have zero fat? Is it fine as long as they're not obese? Do you like a bit of fat?
> 
> Tell me if you're talking about a male or female partner.


I think of it this way. If the girl is clearly too big for me to carry in an emergency or runs the risk of crushing me in bed, then they are too big for me. Likewise I find anorexic looking women to be disturbing wondering if they will up and die in a moments notice. In other words, I want a healthy looking girl.

So I want something in between those ideas. No specific numbers here, just a vague idea of what I want.

And yes, the media does brainwash girls into destroying their health and self-confidence.


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## Brax (Jun 15, 2005)

I like all sorts of women. Fluff is sexy too. The only deal breaker for me is where everything is; that's where my tastes lay (and well, really, really obese is a deal breaker too).

I'm a little more strict with men.


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## pyramidsong (Apr 17, 2005)

I'm bisexual, and if I think of the guys and girls I've dated/been attracted to, there's no pattern with regard to body shape or size. Some were thin, some were fat, most were in between. It really doesn't matter. As people have said, as long they're not morbidly one way or the other it's all good.


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## Arkturus (Dec 10, 2006)

In general I think people will tend to be attracted to people with similar builds. So a bigger guy would be more willing to date a bigger girl than a smaller guy would be. Somebody who stays in shape, will probably be attracted to someone who does the same. etc . . .

I think its kind of like a study I read that showed how people tend to look for a mate with similar facial features to that of themselves and their families.

As for me I'm pretty picky about weight. It's simple for me, if a girl is overweight then I'm not physically attracted to them. Call me shallow, but it's just unpleasent looking to me. 

In connection with my first statement I'm quite thin(6' tall, 140lbs), excercise regularly, and grew up in a family of slender, health conscious people. All of which probably contributed to what I percieve as physical beauty.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

*Re: re: How important is weight?*



Arkturus said:


> In general I think people will tend to be attracted to people with similar builds. So a bigger guy would be more willing to date a bigger girl than a smaller guy would be. Somebody who stays in shape, will probably be attracted to someone who does the same. etc . . .


Hmm I don't know about that. I've heard that many even overweight guys are attracted to the stereotypical model-type look on women. Most men have an urge to find a woman they can protect, so they often go for weak-looking women because having too much muscle might threaten their "masculinity" and their ability to feel dominant.

So it's not like larger men want larger women, but perhaps they would be willing to date an overweight woman as long as she was less overweight than him.

I'm not speaking on my own personal experience here, it's just that I know/have heard of a lot of guys like this. My own personal tastes are too different from the norm to use as an argument.


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## omgnoudidnt (Jan 8, 2005)

njodis said:


> As long as you can get around without a crane


 :lol That is so wrong


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

*Re: re: How important is weight?*



Maslow said:


> I like women who are into a healthy lifestyle and not obese, but fitness fanatics are a turnoff, especially if they think I should exercise too! :lol


UmmmmmHmmm... :b


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