# my voice get shaky when talking directly to someone sometimes :(



## ruinMYlife (Nov 23, 2008)

this really kills me. sometimes when I have to talk to someone my voice gets shaky like im running out of air to finish my sentence and then I have to swallow to make it feel better then im ok for a while. its like im going to cry or something while im talking, this cant be happening to me!! how the hell do i stop this!!!


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## SadRosesAreBeautiful (May 15, 2008)

What helps me with this type of thing is anxiety medication like Klonopin or Xanax. Have you tried these things? I don't think that wishing it away helps 'cause I've definitely tried that, and when I think about my voice trembling, it only makes it that much worse.


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## mypasswordneverworks (Dec 12, 2008)

I have the same problem but I thought it was just me...is it related to SA?


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## SadRosesAreBeautiful (May 15, 2008)

mypasswordneverworks said:


> I have the same problem but I thought it was just me...is it related to SA?


I think so, because it only happens for me when I am talking to someone that I'm nervous around, mainly when I have to talk in front of large groups. I can feel my voice tremble, my hands sweat, my heart pound, my head become dizzy...It's all related to SA.


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## Grim619 (Dec 12, 2008)

SadRosesAreBeautiful said:


> I think so, because it only happens for me when I am talking to someone that I'm nervous around, mainly when I have to talk in front of large groups. I can feel my voice tremble, my hands sweat, my heart pound, my head become dizzy...It's all related to SA.


Yea me to.. I get really bad if someone makes me nervous because of social status/looks. I talk like an idiot and my hands shake and my heart races and they probably can tell i'm freaking out...its really pathetic lol.
I've been told to tell yourself to relax(laugh) and to talk slower and it will help with the awkward talking. I'm still trying to be relaxed but damn it's just soo freakin hard when you know it's irrational and still nervous.

Errr maybe we're soo nervous we try to end the conversation as fast as possible so we stumble then it's downhill from there??


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## semiserious (Jan 8, 2009)

Oh yeah this is me too! Sometimes i can fix it by focusing really hard on my speaking but this makes it difficult to keep up with the conversation. I mainly get this around superiors, strangers or a cute girl


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## ThermalMan (Jan 10, 2009)

I get the exact same thing, except its always in "informal" situations, when i'm talking in front of large groups i usually have a "speech" prepared for exactly what i'm going to say, so i'm not as nervous.


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## RibbonBows (Jan 6, 2009)

I have this when I talk to pretty much anyone - regardless if I'm nervous around them or not. I think because I know my voice can go weird/I can get breathless/ my hands shake/ I go red that I'm getting nervous of having all those visible symptoms and so they inevitably happen because Im nervous of them happening. Its pretty embarrassing, sometimes I've even made up crap like 'oh sorry I'm out of breath I've just ran here'.


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## RyanAdams (Aug 15, 2008)

My voice gets high. It's incredibly annoying


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## witwat55 (Feb 13, 2010)

sometimes i feel like i don't even have a real voice.. it almost changes 
tone to me every sentence i speak .. its weird. and sometimes i feel like my voice box is buried deep inside me and i can't help but mumble but im actually trying to speak loudly. its a really weird feeling that i don't know how to get over.


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## incali (Feb 5, 2010)

Totally know what you mean. It is one of my main problems with my SA is that I am in fear of my voice getting shaky (because it always happens!) so that's like one of the main reasons I avoid talking unless I have to. I hate the feeling of having just said something and had my voice shake or change up on me...HATE IT. I feel so embarrassed for real...and all the thoughts that immediately start running through my head about what the other person or persons are currently thinking of me after hearing how nervous I sound. What's worse is the puzzled or confused look on their faces at times when they just don't understand why someone would be acting in such a way...there's why it's hard for me to maintain eye contact with people cause I'd rather not see their disappointed looks on their faces when I'm just not able to socialize in a normal/regular way. Endless cycle of avoidance thats been in motion for years. I'm at the point of thinking of trying some type of medication for it. Never been one that was into taking any type of pills, but if its what will help me out then so be it...life is too short to not give it a try.


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## mrbojangles (Oct 8, 2009)

i have the exact same problem, i usually try and put my head down a little and cover my throat so they wont see me swallowing. i think its because i dont pace myself when talking. im trying to get out of there as fast as possible, then i end up running out of breath and coming off as really nervous.


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## Cepp (Feb 8, 2010)

Yeah, this has happened to me as well in the past. I stop talking, clear my throat and carry on. If I get too nervous I'll start talking crazy fast as well so I have to consciously slow myself down.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

ruinMYlife said:


> this really kills me. sometimes when I have to talk to someone my voice gets shaky like im running out of air to finish my sentence and then I have to swallow to make it feel better then im ok for a while. its like im going to cry or something while im talking, this cant be happening to me!! how the hell do i stop this!!!


There is a method that Dr. Richards talks about called "slow talk". You should practice purposefully slowing down your speech - you will notice there is more confidence and less nerves when you slow down your speech pattern - it also comes across more confident.


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## shyLee10 (Feb 14, 2010)

millenniumman75 said:


> There is a method that Dr. Richards talks about called "slow talk". You should practice purposefully slowing down your speech - you will notice there is more confidence and less nerves when you slow down your speech pattern - it also comes across more confident.


thanks. i'm gonna try that.


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## Cas the lass (Jan 16, 2013)

*Same here!*

The voice issue is one of my biggest problems. It cracks and breaks whenever I am in an anxiety causing meeting and if the meeting is bad enough for me to be worrying about it in advance, my voice can start going in advance. The more I try and control it the worse it gets. I have to act like I don't realise so other people don't react. I've had Emotional Behavioural Technique and that has helped reduce my intense thinking about it, but decided to try some medication. I don't want to become addicted to anything though.


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## smilinggnome (Feb 24, 2013)

incali said:


> Totally know what you mean. It is one of my main problems with my SA is that I am in fear of my voice getting shaky (because it always happens!) so that's like one of the main reasons I avoid talking unless I have to. I hate the feeling of having just said something and had my voice shake or change up on me...HATE IT. I feel so embarrassed for real...and all the thoughts that immediately start running through my head about what the other person or persons are currently thinking of me after hearing how nervous I sound. What's worse is the puzzled or confused look on their faces at times when they just don't understand why someone would be acting in such a way...there's why it's hard for me to maintain eye contact with people cause I'd rather not see their disappointed looks on their faces when I'm just not able to socialize in a normal/regular way. Endless cycle of avoidance thats been in motion for years. I'm at the point of thinking of trying some type of medication for it. Never been one that was into taking any type of pills, but if its what will help me out then so be it...life is too short to not give it a try.


Your situation sounds exactly like me. I'd like to avoid medications too, as I'm afraid of the side effects. I'm out of school now, but we sometimes have classes or meetings at work. There are some situations where I'd like to speak up in a class or meeting, but I'm so afraid my voice will get shaky and I don't like all the attention focused on me anyway. When they go around the room for everyone to introduce themselves or tell something, I just want to sink under the table. I think everyone already thinks I'm weird because I don't talk that much. Oh yeah, and luckily I don't have to be on the phone that often at work, but that makes me extremely nervous too and my voice shakes really bad. If they were all nice people that called, it would be better I think, but a lot of the people are upset or impatient about something, which makes me nervous too. Oh, and also, I must just have a horrible phone voice in general as usually I'm ok when I first answer the phone, but a bunch of people that call that don't know me personally have asked me if I have a cold or they say I don't sound so good when I'm just fine. That upsets me too...I still haven't figured out a good response to that yet. I'm sure everyone sitting around me probably thinks I'm a freak. I wish I could just be normal on the phone and have a normal voice like other people. There is a lady that sits near me that hates the phone too, but she does great on the phone anyway. She doesn't sound abnormal like I know I do.


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## mesmerize (Oct 19, 2012)

same here. you need to practice your voice..... sing and sing a lotttt! and loud. will help it be strong and stable.


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## ReverseMirror (May 27, 2013)

It only happens to me when I speak in public(I get really nervous)


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## gamingpup (Jul 10, 2013)

it might make you giggle mid convo but try imagining the person your talking too is a giant talking carrot then instead of going shaky you wont stop giggling


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## Social Anxiety Institute (May 15, 2013)

Hello RuinMyLife,

I think the most effective strategy for fixing a "shaky" and nervous sounding voice is to slow yourself down when speaking with others, and slow your mind down as well.

I used to speak at a much faster pace too, and I can relate to having a "shaky voice" even when talking one on one with people sometimes.

Since social anxiety comes about physiologically from an increase in adrenaline and cortisol (the fear hormone), by slowing your thinking and talking down slightly, or noticing when you are speeding up and not allowing anxiety to speed you up like it has in the past, it may help you to not worry or think too much about what you are going to say, and this would help decrease the speeding up adrenaline and fear-inducing cortisol.

If you have a shaky voice only in public situations, it is likely caused by social anxiety, so learning the cognitive and behavioral methods to overcome SA is really the first priority. The solutions to anxiety are always paradoxical it seems. People think that by being in "Hyperdrive" and thinking of something to say as quickly as possible, this will help them out, but in reality it does not and only further complicates the problem. From my personal experience, slowing my speaking down is one of the most effective ways of lowering the adrenaline and cortisol in my body, which allows me to think more deliberately, clearly, and with confidence.

-Justin


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