# emotional sensitivity



## upndownboi (Oct 7, 2010)

recently i've been thinking about why i am how i am and i got to thinking about how early childhood experiences affect us.. like for instance i was never quite sure when something was going to blow up between my parents or when my (depressed, erratic and very angry) mom was going to lose it with me, i'd constantly be monitoring situations, peoples emotions etc.. i'm wondering if thats what caused my SA (its like my brain doesn't realise it doesn't have to anymore) and if its linked to how emotionally sensitive i am.. cos things can really hit me way harder than they should


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

I'm very emotionally sensitive also, and I think that definitely contributes to my social anxiousness, because I don't want to get hurt or offend others. I also think how I was raised was a contributing factor, and judged on what you put here I think it was for you too. In fact, I think it always is. How we're raised is a big part of how we develop psychologically. It may not always be the main reason, but it's always involved in how psychologically stable/unstable you are.


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## upndownboi (Oct 7, 2010)

Hopeful25 said:


> I'm very emotionally sensitive also, and I think that definitely contributes to my social anxiousness, because I don't want to get hurt or offend others. I also think how I was raised was a contributing factor, and judged on what you put here I think it was for you too. In fact, I think it always is. How we're raised is a big part of how we develop psychologically. It may not always be the main reason, but it's always involved in how psychologically stable/unstable you are.


i was and still am very wary of getting hurt or offending others but sometimes i seem to go a little crazy in the opposite direction.. i'd like to think i'm better than i was and working towards some kind of happy medium tho. on edge-not quite fight or flight feelings suck tho.. i was thinking of trying hypnosis cos i can't seem to access the deep beliefs causing them.


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## Shredder (Apr 19, 2011)

Very similar to my experience. I think I was born sensitive. Check out research done by Kagan on "Highly Reactive Infants". Also check out the "Orchid Hypothosis" A highly reactive baby usually grows to be introverted. Introverted children often get SA _*if they have a difficult childhood. *_Im 42 years old and still cant get over some of the issues from my childhood. I've gone through a lot to confront stuff I repressed and now I understand them but I find that they still control my emotions. Ive often thought if hypnosis would help too.


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## Piscesfish202 (Feb 12, 2012)

*Childhood and Mem0reez.*



upndownboi said:


> r how early childhood experiences affect us.. like


Yeah I think about my childhood a lot too. Especially with my older sister who's three years older like, how I would always be submissive to her and never stick up for myself and it still very much works that way. How we were given different minds, hers more narrative in nature and in that way able to tell funny stories and laugh more and stuff. We often like, sometimes she would make me her 'slave' for a week and i'd like, get her orange juice and cookies or whatever lol. Or sometimes she and her friends dressed me up like a girl and called me Chrissie and tromped me around the neighborhood. And like, these experiences shouldn't sound so traumatic to me and I definitely went along with it at the time, but like, I guess it wasn't like I never learned how to completely want something and do something ... like that was never so fun for me. I'm sure there are people who could have fun with it, but, I, like I said, was not perhaps as imaginative. Or manipulative. wasn't a very good liar. Still am not. So, like, that and like, I wanna just let go of the ****. I'm eightteen years old and like it's ridiculous to think back on my childhood with such worry and guilt and shame and sadness when really like i had the wild thornberries and spongebob. that's cool as ****. I was lucky hahah. Like it's really hard though just to not get fed up with the whole nature versus nurture, how much of myself can I really change? how much of it is just written on my chromosomes and genes? am i an open receptacle to learning new things and having things really hit a nerve and be relearned? or realized? or am I always gonna be this way? have to accept myself and grow... am I getting too old. wtf. it's just like, totally overwhelming. Like this post, super-long hahah.

Anyways, I feel ya on this stuff. Don't want to feel negative about my childhood, hard not to.

Another thing I remember was in like 2nd grade how my teacher scorned me for not listening. and how i had seizures around that time. ... :um


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## upndownboi (Oct 7, 2010)

Piscesfish202 said:


> Yeah I think about my childhood a lot too. Especially with my older sister who's three years older like, how I would always be submissive to her and never stick up for myself and it still very much works that way. How we were given different minds, hers more narrative in nature and in that way able to tell funny stories and laugh more and stuff. We often like, sometimes she would make me her 'slave' for a week and i'd like, get her orange juice and cookies or whatever lol. Or sometimes she and her friends dressed me up like a girl and called me Chrissie and tromped me around the neighborhood. And like, these experiences shouldn't sound so traumatic to me and I definitely went along with it at the time, but like, I guess it wasn't like I never learned how to completely want something and do something ... like that was never so fun for me. I'm sure there are people who could have fun with it, but, I, like I said, was not perhaps as imaginative. Or manipulative. wasn't a very good liar. Still am not. So, like, that and like, I wanna just let go of the ****. I'm eightteen years old and like it's ridiculous to think back on my childhood with such worry and guilt and shame and sadness when really like i had the wild thornberries and spongebob. that's cool as ****. I was lucky hahah. Like it's really hard though just to not get fed up with the whole nature versus nurture, how much of myself can I really change? how much of it is just written on my chromosomes and genes? am i an open receptacle to learning new things and having things really hit a nerve and be relearned? or realized? or am I always gonna be this way? have to accept myself and grow... am I getting too old. wtf. it's just like, totally overwhelming. Like this post, super-long hahah.
> 
> Anyways, I feel ya on this stuff. Don't want to feel negative about my childhood, hard not to.
> 
> Another thing I remember was in like 2nd grade how my teacher scorned me for not listening. and how i had seizures around that time. ... :um


just reading through that post was really quite touching, i guess cos it speaks to a bit of me. i just wanted to say thanks for it and to stay strong


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## upndownboi (Oct 7, 2010)

Shredder said:


> Very similar to my experience. I think I was born sensitive. Check out research done by Kagan on "Highly Reactive Infants". Also check out the "Orchid Hypothosis" A highly reactive baby usually grows to be introverted. Introverted children often get SA _*if they have a difficult childhood. *_Im 42 years old and still cant get over some of the issues from my childhood. I've gone through a lot to confront stuff I repressed and now I understand them but I find that they still control my emotions. Ive often thought if hypnosis would help too.


i checked out that research.nailed it.

its the most interesting thing i've read. kinda describes me to a tee and confirms what i've suspected for a long time. its reassuring if bitter-sweet to see it recognised in black and white.. the orchid hypothesis and idea of orchid children seems relevant cos although i've spent the majority of my life depressed and emotionally handicapped (and basically left with a lot of time to think but not feel) there have also been sustained periods that have been, like, the exact flip.. not mania/bipolar, just.. super-functioning.

And when it was good, it was very, very good,
But when it was bad it was horrid.


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## iluvpurpleandpugs (Mar 16, 2012)

I'm pretty sure that my emotional sensitivity is a BIG reason why I'm the way I am. I'm always worrying about whether I'm going to be rude and hurt others; however, every time someone says something that's not really positive or that is the slightest bit of criticism, I get easily hurt and offended. So, not only do I worry about what I say to others, but also, what others say to me. Sometimes I avoid talking to others because I can't be sure what they really think of me.

Like you, I also think the way I've grown up has impacted the way I am. I have a mom that loves me and means well, but sometimes she is very insensitive. Sometimes she says things that are just outright mean. I often feel that the rules of respect only apply to her and not to anyone else. Whenever I talk about how something makes me feel nervous or how bad I feel about something, she either tells me to "just get over it" or nags me, trying to find out what I did wrong. For example, if I do badly on a test, it's not "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, you'll do better next time." No, it's all "Well, did you study?" (yes, I always study) "Were you playing games, were you on Facebook, were you watching videos, etc" It just goes on and on. She can't ever feel bad that my day has not been good, she always somehow finds fault in what I have done or what I haven't done.

We were recently discussing how I feel uncomfortable when people interrupt me when I am speaking. Her response was "Well, that's life. Just get over it and speak up." What she doesn't realize is that when people interrupt me, it feels like they aren't interested in what I have to say. They assume that just because I am quiet, I have nothing interesting or worthwhile to say. She also fails to realize that I'm not as emotionally tough as she is and that you just don't "pick yourself up and move on."

People like my mom, because they've never had issues socializing, and because they are emotionally tough people, can never really understand what I go through on a day-to-day basis.

My mom sometimes reminds me of how many friends I had as a younger kid. However, I read somewhere on here that sometimes symptoms of social anxiety don't appear until ages 12 or 13, when I first started recognizing them. If someone knows the link to the article, maybe I could print it out. Maybe that would help her to realize how I've become the way I am.

I think a lot of my emotional sensitivity comes from my mom's constant yelling and/or criticism.


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## Shredder (Apr 19, 2011)

iluvpurpleandpugs said:


> I think a lot of my emotional sensitivity comes from my mom's constant yelling and/or criticism.


 From what I've read emotional sensitivity is something you are born with. The most important thing from a parent is to provide nurturing love & support where I'm sure you will flourish. Criticism and yelling will only make you feel like c**p and lead to things like lack of self esteem (e.g Social Anxiety). From the description of your mother I imagine it would be very hard to explain to her what things are like for you. Throughout life we constantly come across overbearing people. I know that I get overwhelmed in those situations and then I don't get my points across properly. I'm learning to walk away and understand what I'm feeling, compose my thoughts and go back and explain in a calm manner. Sometimes I write it down and give them a note... which works well if your mother tries to argue with whatever you say. 
Have a read of this article it might be of interest to you.


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