# You see a cute girl sitting near you...



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

...in a coffee shop. She's reading something by herself but has an approachable aura. She turns her gaze at you and you lock eyes. Slightly embarrassed, you turn your head quickly and go back to what you were doing. You've been here a million times before: a cute girl is sitting there and she seems to show at least a little bit of interest in you, but you are too afraid to even give her a smile, let alone approach her. But today is a new day. You're sick and tired of being that guy who is lonely and afraid. After all, you have nothing to lose, and more importantly, what's the worst that could happen?

You get up, walk over to her, and say:


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## PaysageDHiver (Jun 18, 2011)

Hi! I saw that you are reading....what's that? I mean, what are you reading? I was just wondering.

It's _______.

Ah, cool. Well, I was just wondering. *walks back to seat*


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## forex (Dec 29, 2010)

lol @ Paysa......


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## cold fission cure (Aug 31, 2010)

"quick question" (lets her know you won't be here long) 
"do you floss first and then do toothbrushing or do you do it the other way around?" (saw professional alpha pick up artists use this line and they say it never fails)

or you could just take her book and start reading aloud from it. since she was going to the trouble of reading it you know she's guaranteed to be interested in what you have to say now


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## RyanAdams (Aug 15, 2008)

Something very similar kind of happened to me at the Starbucks Cafe at the Barnes & Noble where I was standing in line to get something. I turned around to look at something and accidentally caught the eye of a really beautiful blonde woman standing behind me. So we smiled at each other and I turned around to go on about my business thinking nothing of it. This was following dialogue:


Her: So what looks tempting?

Me: Uhh.....the cheesecake looks good.

I never saw her again. And I never got any cheesecake.


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

Ok, guys, I'm about to tell you the most EPIC pickup line of all time.........You walk up to her......
You say, "did it hurt?" 
She looks at you, smiles, and says, "what?"
then you say, "when you fell from heaven, did it hurt?"
She looks at you and laughs. You can get any girl you want now.
Thanks is not needed.


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## cold fission cure (Aug 31, 2010)

Kathykook said:


> Ok, guys, I'm about to tell you the most EPIC pickup line of all time.........You walk up to her......
> You say, "did it hurt?"
> She looks at you, smiles, and says, "what?"
> then you say, "when you fell from heaven, did it hurt?"
> ...


so i should tell her that she is satan? because that is the story of satan


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

This situation doesn't apply to me because I can't flirt with a random girl I don't know without having any legitimate reason to talk to them. I'd just have to be nosy and ask what they're reading :stu.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Hopeful25 said:


> This situation doesn't apply to me because I can't flirt with a random girl I don't know without having any legitimate reason to talk to them. I'd just have to be nosy and ask what they're reading :stu.


The legitimate reason is that you want her number. Okay? GO.


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

"Hey. So....uh...."

Then I pull a Stan and puke on her face. C'est la vie.


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

rymo said:


> The legitimate reason is that you want her number. Okay? GO.


I'd fail if I tried so I wouldn't try :no lol. It's sad but it's true.

Ok if I had no choice but to try (for whatever reason):

I'd probably start with: *goes and sits by her/across from her* "Hello " *if she responds with an uninterested tone I make up an excuse to end the conversation immediately, but if she responds saying hello back with a smile I continue with:* "Reading anything interesting? " *tells me what she's reading, we might talk about that for a little bit then I change the topic to why I'm there, maybe it's the morning and I'm just getting breakfast and coffee or something* *I try to make a joke or 2 to see how she responds to my sense of humor (if I can and I'm not too nervous), then before I leave:* "Hey can I get your number? Maybe we can hang out some time?..." and I hope for the best.

This would never happen because I'm not spontaneous or good at flirting _at all_, but this is how I'd want it to go :stu.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Hopeful25 said:


> I'd fail if I tried so I wouldn't try :no lol. It's sad but it's true.
> 
> Ok if I had no choice but to try (for whatever reason):
> 
> ...


lol..I can already tell your problem is that you WAAAY overthink things, but that's great that you're at least thinking about it. And no one is good at flirting until they practice man...it's something that just takes experience and confidence, like anything else.


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

rymo said:


> lol..I can already tell your problem is that you WAAAY overthink things, but that's great that you're at least thinking about it. And no one is good at flirting until they practice man...it's something that just takes experience and confidence, like anything else.


What? See I had no idea I was overthinking that situation, that's just how I would normally approach it :stu, hence why I don't try to go after random girls. I'd rather ask out a girl I see on a daily basis anyway (like in class or at school or something) as opposed to picking up girls numbers who I don't know at all and have never seen before (and might never see again unless I get their number). That's why I say I'd never be in that situation :|


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

me: Hey, what ya reading there? Is it any good?

her: Yeah, it's not bad. It's twilight (lol) [this is where i run jk]

me: twilight? is it just me or does every girl like twilight?

her: haha, no not every girl.

me: just you then?

her: haha, yeah i guess.

me: haha, well that's cool.

me: sry, saw you staring at me thought i'd say hello. i'm brice btw..what's your name...

BAM! It's a done deal right there buddy!

It's always easiest to approach on a what's going on within the context (i.e. what she is reading; coffee shop, etc). It's best to open with something she'd be interested in talking about (her book; her coffee) - something that is interesting to her because you'll be guiding the conversation and asking most the questions and it's good to keep her interested. Be polite. Be honest and sincere and your golden.

The main reason guys/girls fear this is because they haven't done it much before. I've done this a fair amount of times, but the only difference is she didn't give me indicators of interest. If she gives you indicators of interest then you've pretty much already won unless you say something incredibly stupid, which is rare. So if anything, both guys and girls should try this at least once or twice in their lifetime and it may do them a lot of good. Never say you can't overcome something with regard to social fear because we are programmed to be able to through nature. Clear your thoughts; get some practice in and you'll see what I mean.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

JamieHasAnxiety said:


> I once flirted with a nurse- it was past 3AM and I was overnight with my brother at the hospital. She was doing night checks or whatever they do, and she noticed I was awake all night on my phone. She made small talk- and I picked up on it and continued talking about her job. Long story short she called me cute after I told her I wasn't in high school. lol
> She asked if I was going to be there tomorrow- and I said yes I was and whatnot.
> 
> She left work- and I went home to get some sleep. The following night I get dressed,
> ...


Well..if you're secure with not being able to approach a girl then that's totally cool. I just want to get people thinking about actually going for it and taking charge for once.

The reason I made this thread is because I just broke up with my gf and honestly, I feel really bad because she was falling in love with me. I know the pain she is feeling is much worse than mine, but I still have a lot of emotion about the whole thing and I want to start approaching girls to help get over it. I was eating in Panera today and a cute girl was at the nearest table to me, and I didn't do a thing. I feel confident enough to have a great conversation, but I still hesitated. Why? I have no good reason. Enough of the bull****, we need to take matters into our own hands. If we approached only two girls a week then we would increase our confidence and social skills tremendously over time, and that's what it's all about.

Alright, enough of that, let's get back to it. What would you guys say in this situation?


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

rymo said:


> what's the worst that could happen?


Loss of dignity. Personally, I find any kind of failure very hard to take. And someone turning you down when you made the approach is failure.


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## Ashley1990 (Aug 27, 2011)

Do u have a good collection of reading material,i was just wondering if I could get one of them..uh if u dnt mind...!! that would have worked for me


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## Selbbin (Aug 10, 2010)

I want paprika!


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## Selbbin (Aug 10, 2010)

rymo said:


> .After all, you have nothing to lose, and more importantly, what's the worst that could happen?


I always feel like the worst that could happen is I mess it up and therefore lose the chance to make a good first impression.

What makes me most anxious isn't rejection, but failing to make the most of an opportunity and losing the chance to do it again.


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## ThisGuy (Jul 13, 2010)

PaysageDHiver said:


> Hi! I saw that you are reading....what's that? I mean, what are you reading? I was just wondering.
> 
> It's _______.
> 
> Ah, cool. Well, I was just wondering. *walks back to seat*


Most likely this haha... I would need to have several approaches under belt to get me relaxed enough to have even a mildly pleasing interaction with a stranger.

I have only legitimately approached a girl once. It was after I noticed her on the shuttle home a few times; I was sitting directly across from her and we had exchanged looks a few times. Totally failed to strike up a conversation on the bus ride, so I weaseled my way through a crowd of bodies to get to her once we got off, as we were about to cross the street. I got to her and mumbled something about noticing her check me out on the bus *facepalm*, and the conversation turned to school progress, our majors, where we lived, etc. Tired small-talk. She spoke very calmly and casually, while I conversed hesitantly, and more fast than I'd like. No teasing, joking, or sarcastic humor because my mind was racing, and I couldn't relax. We walked for 1 or 2 minutes before she went off to her part of the complex. I'd be surprised and encouraged if our next encounter were any less awkward, to be totally honest. :b


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

heroin said:


> Loss of dignity. Personally, I find any kind of failure very hard to take. And someone turning you down when you made the approach is failure.


So approaching a girl isn't a success to you? Why can't that first step be a success, no matter what happens? After all, it was more than you were going to do. Surely you think not doing anything is more of a failure than anything else, right?



Selbbin said:


> I always feel like the worst that could happen is I mess it up and therefore lose the chance to make a good first impression.
> 
> What makes me most anxious isn't rejection, but failing to make the most of an opportunity and losing the chance to do it again.


Plenty of fish in the sea.


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## Cornerstone (Jun 30, 2011)

"Hello, baby, how would you like your eggs for breakfast?" (cause i'm assuming she'll spend the nigth with me"


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## JGreenwood (Jan 28, 2011)

"Flubn mungle parnooky"


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## DubnRun (Oct 29, 2011)

Ive never actually done that even though ive been in that situation quite a few times. Going from similar past experiences, Id just act extremely anti social and get so panicky id have to walk out appearing angry, then regret and embarrassment would consume me whole ..I hate these situations I wish I could pluck up more courage. If i did go over, which would be a first then id have no idea what to say, if I tried a pick up line(which don't work in this area you'd no doubt get laughed at. literally) then it would probably sound like im reading from a book and it would be an epic fail lol


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

Im not good at picking up the subtle signs of interest, so I'd just figure she was looking at me because I looked strange(which happens alot). I wouldnt do anything and would just leave her alone to do her thing. She is at a coffee shop so I doubt she came there to pick up men. She probally wants to relax in peace reading her book.

I would absolutely hate it if I was a woman and had guys trying to approach me out of every corner. I couldnt even look at them without them mistaking it for interest. That would get old so fast, so thats why I dont bother. Now if their signs were blatently obvious, that would be a different story...but to assume she is interested over just a gaze...I wouldnt think that at all.


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## Ckg2011 (Aug 9, 2011)

Me - Hi, my is Chris, what's yours? 

Her - Ignores me or walks away.


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## NoIce (Sep 10, 2011)

"What kind of drinking are you coffee?"


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## emptybottle2 (Jan 18, 2009)

Doesn't everyone briefly look at everyone around them at least once? One look isn't enough to assume someone's interested enough to welcome being approached. Next time, see if they keep looking at you and they hold the eye contact. Don't be the first to look away.


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## King Moonracer (Oct 12, 2010)

Why hello there darling. I couldnt help notice that you have a very nice looking for head.


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## NoIce (Sep 10, 2011)

emptybottle2 said:


> Next time, see if they keep looking at you and they hold the eye contact. Don't be the first to look away.


I still can't believe that's true; I mean I know it _is_ true, but still.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

rymo said:


> ...in a coffee shop. She's reading something by herself but has an approachable aura. She turns her gaze at you and you lock eyes. Slightly embarrassed, you turn your head quickly and go back to what you were doing. You've been here a million times before: a cute girl is sitting there and she seems to show at least a little bit of interest in you, but you are too afraid to even give her a smile, let alone approach her. But today is a new day. You're sick and tired of being that guy who is lonely and afraid. After all, you have nothing to lose, and more importantly, what's the worst that could happen?
> 
> You get up, walk over to her, and say:


 That's not me. I'm not all that lonely.


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## WalkingDisaster (Nov 27, 2010)

Advice from the master!


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

PickleNose:1059481629 said:


> that's not me. I'm not all that lonely.


So...you're with someone then?


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

max4225:1059481669 said:


> I wouldn't do anything. I'm currently retired from approaching women.


The point of this thread is more about thinking logically about what you would say and then going for it. There's no need to be bashful here, we're just brainstorming. The funny responses are great too tho lol.

If you had no choice but to approach her.and you being an intelligent, thoughtful person ..what would you say?


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

-So I can never decide what I like more, the smell of fresh ground coffee or the sweet, sweet caffeine hit..

- I've read that book, the best part is near the end when the lead character jumps off the ..... (she stops you from talking)

Doesn't really matter what you say, as long as you're happy enough and in the moment. Easier said than done though, it's nerversracking sh1t. I actually tried this today and I have not felt that much anxiety in a long time, but you've got to push boundaries if you want these things.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

"You should be reading The Zombie Survival Guide." I once asked a woman if she wanted to come with me to check out an abandoned missle silo to see if it would make a good zombie shelter. Did NOT get a date.


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## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

Daflugenbitznadenflawkderp. Then nervous laugh.

Truth is what you described never happens to me, if anything after I looked at her she would probably get up and leave thinking some stalker guy was just gawking at her thinking impure thoughts.


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## NoName99 (Jul 3, 2011)

rymo said:


> You get up, walk over to her, and say:


You see a cute girl sitting in a coffee shop. She's reading something by herself but has an approachable aura. She turns her gaze at you and you lock eyes. Slightly embarrassed, you turn your head quickly and go back to what you were doing. You've been here a million times before: a cute girl is sitting there and she seems to show at least a little bit of interest in you, but you are too afraid to even give her a smile, let alone approach her. But today is a new day. You're sick and tired of being that guy who is lonely and afraid. After all, you have nothing to lose, and more importantly, what's the worst that could happen?

You get up, walk over to her, and say:

You see a cute girl sitting near you in a coffeshop. She... etc.


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## xTKsaucex (Jun 23, 2010)

Can't believe no ones done her boyfriend sits next to her.


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## psgchisolm (Jul 8, 2011)

You're gonna need a permit if you want to keep checking me out like that. Hi I'm xyz


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## Glue (Oct 26, 2010)

I would say "good day," sit next to her and start reading or something. I wouldn't be able to say anything else.


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## huh (Mar 19, 2007)

rymo said:


> You get up, walk over to her, and say:


My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

rymo said:


> So...you're with someone then?


 No. I'm just content. I'm alone but I'm not lonely.


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## Wrexx (Apr 8, 2010)

rymo said:


> ...in a coffee shop. She's reading something by herself but has an approachable aura. She turns her gaze at you and you lock eyes. Slightly embarrassed, you turn your head quickly and go back to what you were doing. You've been here a million times before: a cute girl is sitting there and she seems to show at least a little bit of interest in you, but you are too afraid to even give her a smile, let alone approach her. But today is a new day. You're sick and tired of being that guy who is lonely and afraid. After all, you have nothing to lose, and more importantly, what's the worst that could happen?
> 
> You get up, walk over to her, and say:


"Hey, i saw you were reading ____ I just got finished with that, how far are you into it?" casual conversation ensues, but if (on the off chance)i don't know the book shes reading:
"Hey, whats that you're reading I really like the design on the cover"
"The cover is just plain green though..."
"YOU HAVE PRETTY EYES!!!" then get escorted out by security


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

PickleNose:1059482952 said:


> No. I'm just content. I'm alone but I'm not lonely.


No ones truly content being alone, I don't buy it.


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## drganon (Aug 10, 2011)

One time I actually did get up enough courage to go up and talk to a girl. Long story short, did not end well, and haven't bothered to attempt something like that again.


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## Ivan AG (Sep 29, 2010)

rymo said:


> No ones truly content being alone, I don't buy it.


That reminds me of a quote by Aristotle.

"He who is unable to live in society, or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god."

--

Anyhow, I would be far too paranoid of her boyfriend popping out of nowhere to approach her.

I am far too careful and calculated for something like this.

I lack the spontaneity.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

drganon:1059483615 said:


> One time I actually did get up enough courage to go up and talk to a girl. Long story short, did not end well, and haven't bothered to attempt something like that again.


That means your expectations were waaaay too high. You wouldn't expect to be able to dunk a basketball in one try, so why would you expect to..lets just say have a positive flirty conversation after one approach? It takes practice, just like ANYTHING else in life. Luckily I think in the end it's probably a little easier than being able to dunk


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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

Well since I've been thinking about it the whole time I've been sitting down at my table, by the time I've gotten up to go introduce myself, I'd have something funny planned to say to her. Then I'd run out the door never to return...


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

is that a choose your own adventure book. Mind if I borrow it. lol!  
They made these books in the 80's. 

What book are you reading? Is that your favourite author? 

You say can I have your digits and quickly scroll your number on your cappuchino napkin.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

Hopeful25 said:


> What? See I had no idea I was overthinking that situation, that's just how I would normally approach it :stu, hence why I don't try to go after random girls. I'd rather ask out a girl I see on a daily basis anyway (like in class or at school or something) as opposed to picking up girls numbers who I don't know at all and have never seen before (and might never see again unless I get their number). That's why I say I'd never be in that situation :|


You over think things, I do too. Most likely, you would see the girl, think 5 steps ahead and find a reason why not to. when in reality, it will go better than expected.



bwidger85 said:


> me: Hey, what ya reading there? Is it any good?
> 
> her: Yeah, it's not bad. It's twilight (lol) [this is where i run jk]
> 
> ...


Great post


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

heroin said:


> Loss of dignity. Personally, I find any kind of failure very hard to take. And someone turning you down when you made the approach is failure.


Considering some of things I have heard come out of girls' mouths in my time......nasty! It's hard to tell what kind of person she is. One polite compliment and she think you're nuts, or worse, and that'll end that real quick.



Selbbin said:


> I want paprika!


I have plenty....imported from Hungary. :lol


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

rymo said:


> No ones truly content being alone, I don't buy it.


I've made it further than most in here. Trust me, at this point, I am working on myself, and if it ends up shooting me past the majority of people along the way - and it is - more power to me. :lol


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

millenniumman75 said:


> Considering some of things I have heard come out of girls' mouths in my time......nasty! It's hard to tell what kind of person she is. One polite compliment and she think you're nuts, or worse, and that'll end that real quick.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

heroin said:


>


It would be nice if the above was true, but I have actually heard women say things like that....and worse!


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## WalkingDisaster (Nov 27, 2010)

heroin said:


>


I love xkcd. Great balance of humourous and sad moments.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

I'd walk up to her and say (probably stuttering)...

Hey, I'm 41 yrs old, unemployed, divorced twice and have three kids. I also have an ex-g/f that occasionally stalks me. Oh, and I'm a recovering alcoholic with severe anxiety. Engaging in even the most basic, trivial social interactions are a huge issue with me, but hopefully I'll get back on my anti-anxiety and anti-depressant meds soon.

Wanna go out sometime?


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

Kathykook said:


> Ok, guys, I'm about to tell you the most EPIC pickup line of all time.........You walk up to her......
> You say, "did it hurt?"
> She looks at you, smiles, and says, "what?"
> then you say, "when you fell from heaven, did it hurt?"
> ...


Guy says: Did it hurt?
Girl: Will it hurt you?
Guy: *confused* I'm sorry, what?
Girl: My foot up your *** if you don't get out of my face.
Guy: *get's his coffee and runs away...terrified*

There are some rough girls around my neck of the woods... :lol


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

She's reading in a coffee shop?

Damn hipsters :wife


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## Nathan Talli (Dec 13, 2010)

"Hey, what are you reading?"

"Oh just ______ by ______"

"That's a great one..... but ______ dies in the end ....and the movie is better ....PEACE"


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

Oh my god, is that Emilio Estevez?!


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## ProgMetalGamer2112 (Dec 1, 2011)

This is what my mind naturally tells me in situations like this: "Don't say hi. Don't even go near her. She doesn't know you and she'll think your a creep if some random dude goes up and talk to her. Yes, although other people tell you to go for it, you are different from them. Other people can do it because they are not you. You were designed to be rejected. Just don't do it. She'll walk away from you all freaked out and everyone will point and laugh at you and say "Ooh, Rejected. Ha Ha, Loser!"


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## offbyone (May 5, 2010)

huh said:


> My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents.


This made me laugh hard, but in a very bitterly self reflective way.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I wouldn't walk up to her. I would be running away.


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