# Have you tried online dating sites?



## Amumu (Apr 2, 2015)

I'm thinking about dating online. Any experiences?


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## Tony9113 (May 10, 2015)

I met many interesting people thanks to a dating site. Some of them became my good friends. And I also met my love on a dating site https://kovla.com/datings/us/lynn We have 2 years together now


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## Drunky (Feb 8, 2015)

No because I worry when they see me in person I will see the disappointment on her face and not like what she sees.


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## Sated Dog (Oct 5, 2014)

I've met a few girls from dating sites but nothing solid. Good experience if you can be bothered to deal with all the BS.

It's sort of soul-crushing how many people will ignore you, or blow you off. I haven't bothered trying again.


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

As I've answered to all the other threads with the same questions: No. I was never interested in online dating.


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)




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## Kind Of (Jun 11, 2014)

Online people are actually much worse than offline. Oftentimes the first thing they do is lie to my virtual face as if I can't tell when they're frantically backtracking once Googling their fake subject of interest is no longer working, and even though I'm not good enough for them offline online I'm temporarily good enough to distract them from their problems.


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## Astrofreak6 (Mar 30, 2013)

Yes i have ;-)


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## Amumu (Apr 2, 2015)

senkora said:


> Long ago I did date someone that way. Eventually I concluded the only way to meet people was offline though. A girl is usually more human than her profile or her pictures and more willing to talk and humor you in person. The same is true the other way I believe. There's only one of you in a specific real life context, but online you're like a baseball card and stats sheet in an endless collection.
> 
> Go ahead. Try it. If you're serious, be prepared to persist, maybe a little less than you expect, but maybe orders of magnitude more. Only one way to find out.


I'm right now trying app called Tinder. And I'm chatting with 1 girl who liked me. LoL. But I don't know when to ask that I want to meet in person... :/


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## Silent Image (Dec 22, 2010)

I scanned around on them... On meetme, once in a while I comment on public posts... Never had courage to introduce myself.

There is so much drama and depression on that site.


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## Robleye (Sep 26, 2012)

Silent Image said:


> I scanned around on them... On meetme, once in a while I comment on public posts... Never had courage to introduce myself.
> 
> There is so much drama and depression on that site.


I have an account on there but hardly ever bother with it anymore. The community is downright terrible and incredibly shallow, not to mention all the fake accounts and attention seekers. It could be like that on most sites too, just that's the only one I've used so far.


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## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

Yeah, I have.


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## Kilgore Trout (Aug 10, 2014)

0 Profile visits in OkCupid.


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## Silent Image (Dec 22, 2010)

Bobster said:


> Silent Image said:
> 
> 
> > I scanned around on them... On meetme, once in a while I comment on public posts... Never had courage to introduce myself.
> ...


I'm sure it's similar on every site. It's just the only one that hosts public discussions, at least that I know of.

Then there is the scam that tries to get you to buy premium service to see who likes you.


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## Dennis27 (Aug 12, 2014)

Tried POF and you say whats up to these women and they just ignore you. It's like all these women want you to write a poem just to meet up with them and then if they are even somewhat attractive, they expect you to impress them in some way.


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## Dennis27 (Aug 12, 2014)

I will now be focusing on getting in the best shape of my life and money. I will be going to escorts to fill the void and hopefully gain some experience and confidence. GL with online dating. Oh ya, all these chicks want a perfect face selfie, make sure you have that and a 6 pack.


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## Bored Alien (Feb 5, 2015)

If i ever date in my life it'll have to be when i settle for a fat chick with 5 kids i meet online who's settling for me.


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## Crisigv (Aug 3, 2013)

No, never tried them. Probably never will, as I would be a huge disappointment and would embarrass the guy.


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## Jammer25 (Feb 22, 2014)

An overwhelming number of women on free sites like POF are simply looking for an ego boost. They know guys will be gushing over them and messaging them left and right; of course that's going to raise a woman's self-esteem. 

You shouldn't expect much from free dating sites. They're a disaster 99.9% of the time.

People on paid dating sites are more serious about finding a relationship, but even then a lot of the same things apply.


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## Steinerz (Jul 15, 2013)

Sort of- though I never actually posted my picture lol.


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## DarrellLicht (Mar 9, 2013)

Jammer25 said:


> An overwhelming number of women on free sites like POF are simply looking for an ego boost. They know guys will be gushing over them and messaging them left and right; of course that's going to raise a woman's self-esteem.
> 
> You shouldn't expect much from free dating sites. They're a disaster 99.9% of the time.
> 
> People on paid dating sites are more serious about finding a relationship, but even then a lot of the same things apply.


This is pretty much the truth in my experience.

People are already pretty discriminatory to each other without the ease of application the internet sites offer. This is why I don't have a face book or post images or details about myself.


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## Enochian (Feb 17, 2015)

Yeah, I have tried. It creeped me out.


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## chefdave (Dec 16, 2013)

Yeah I have. I was a member of PoF.

A little tip, don't be nice to the women on there. It won't get you anywhere. Even if you've got nothing to offer no money and no job etc etc don't let your guard down and shower a girl with compliments. They'll either ignore you or if you're lucky talk to you for a bit and then ignore you. If you're nice to them you'll feel like a mug. 

I experimented once and sent a bunch of messages that were 'less than complimentary' shall we say, I wasn't horrible but I was being incredibly cheeky and pushing it right to the line. I promise you that this approach was more successful at getting over that first hurdle. Nothing came of it though in the end though. 

Just make sure you don't get mugged off because women can be incredibly callous. If you act like a 'nice guy' you'll never get the upper hand.


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## arja (May 16, 2015)

Yes, I have.


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## Amorphousanomaly (Jun 20, 2012)

No. Never had a hard time finding more than my fair share of suitors IRL.
Pretty sure rapists and murderers use the internet to find prey.


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## Doobage (Dec 20, 2014)

I gave up on dating sites but recently tried again. I made a nice profile and got the same response I always get: overwhelmingly racist messages. Time to quit.


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## 58318 (Jul 15, 2011)

Doobage said:


> I gave up on dating sites but recently tried again. I made a nice profile and got the same response I always get: overwhelmingly racist messages. Time to quit.


Could you give an example?


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## The Patriot (Nov 15, 2012)

I'm putting myself out there on different dating websites (well like Okcupid, Match, POF,) and I've got my pic up, I'm doing my profile messaging women and its suppose to be free right? but It keeps telling me to subscribe, pay a membership (I guess they do that to maybe scare off the creeps etc) shrug but I can't meet anyone in the real world so I'm trying online dating and I have to pay just to actually interact with these women? I know the numbers game thing so the fact that I haven't gotten any replies yet isn't the problem, argh I just want you to be free dating site :b


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

The Patriot said:


> I'm putting myself out there on different dating websites (well like Okcupid, Match, POF,) and I've got my pic up, I'm doing my profile messaging women and its suppose to be free right? but It keeps telling me to subscribe, pay a membership (I guess they do that to maybe scare off the creeps etc) shrug but I can't meet anyone in the real world so I'm trying online dating and I have to pay just to actually interact with these women? I know the numbers game thing so the fact that I haven't gotten any replies yet isn't the problem, argh I just want you to be free dating site :b


To message on Match, you have to pay. The other two you can message as much as you want for free. OKC offers some exclusive content for subscribers, but whether or not a subscription is worth it is a good question.


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## Bored Alien (Feb 5, 2015)

Okc is way to expensive a membership to just be able to sort people by attractiveness and change my name.


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## Doobage (Dec 20, 2014)

VincentAdultman said:


> Could you give an example?


I deleted the messages and deactivated my account so I can't copy and paste anything. But quite a few men (whose profiles I didn't look at nor did I message) felt the need to inform me that they don't date black women or they would have dated me if I were mixed. Another told me to "stop using fake pics" and that I really must be an "overweight ghetto mama" because those are supposedly the only ones who need dating sites. Yet another questioned if I was really in grad school because "it's for smart people".

If they didn't like me, that's fine...but they could have moved on instead of taking an axe to me to make sure that I know I'm undateable.

I wish I were making this up.


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## bluecrime (Jan 27, 2013)

If you’re a guy you've got no chance. If you’re a girl you’re going to get bombarded by creepy, creepy messages.


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## 58318 (Jul 15, 2011)

Doobage said:


> I deleted the messages and deactivated my account so I can't copy and paste anything. But quite a few men (whose profiles I didn't look at nor did I message) felt the need to inform me that they don't date black women or they would have dated me if I were mixed. Another told me to "stop using fake pics" and that I really must be an "overweight ghetto mama" because those are supposedly the only ones who need dating sites. Yet another questioned if I was really in grad school because "it's for smart people".
> 
> I wish I were making this up.


People that you haven't had interactions with felt the need to let you know they wouldn't date black people? that's equal parts hilarious and depressing.


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## Doobage (Dec 20, 2014)

VincentAdultman said:


> People that you haven't had interactions with felt the need to let you know they wouldn't date black people? that's equal parts hilarious and depressing.


I wish there was something hilarious about it for me. And I only sent you the stuff that I can recall...


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## PathologicalSigher (Mar 22, 2015)

Amumu said:


> I'm thinking about dating online. Any experiences?


For a male, you may have some success if you're tall and model-attractive. Otherwise, it's basically a monumental waste of time.


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## 58318 (Jul 15, 2011)

Doobage said:


> I wish there was something hilarious about it for me. And I only sent you the stuff that I can recall...


Can confirm its very funny I have a gsoh.


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## Doobage (Dec 20, 2014)

VincentAdultman said:


> Can confirm its very funny I have a gsoh.


Meh.


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## ladyscuttle (Jan 29, 2012)

....The last person I met on-line was over 2 years ago... the last night I drank... Some terrible **** happened. Needless to say, I haven't had one alcoholic drink or met a stranger from the internet ever since. There really is no telling on what can happen to you. Just be careful.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

Joining a dating site is like playing the lottery, except the winners have already been chosen.

If you're not part of the dating elite, you're better off investing your time in something worthwhile. Like coming up with a cure for cancer, or creating world peace.


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## Excaliber (May 16, 2015)

Nope and I won't try online dating even though people suggest it to me. Maybe I'm strange that way, but I'd rather meet someone I can be antiquated with in my every day travels and click with her like that, its like I'm obsessed with having an interesting story of how we met I guess - weird


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## villadb (Dec 30, 2012)

You have to go into it with minimal expectations, then anything that happens is a bonus. I got messaged by a cute girl out of the blue, having joined and rejoined a few times, and I'm going on my first ever date in a few days (hopefully, I still have worst-case scenario thoughts that either of us cancel). I doubt I'd ever have a date if it wasn't for online dating.


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## TheNord (Aug 18, 2013)

Online dating is awful. It's much easier to meet women in real life. Most decent-looking chiqs get at least 100 messages a day on POF, it's insane. Thirsty mofos.


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## StaceyLaine14 (Apr 11, 2015)

Wow. Lots of negativity here. I've met several really nice guys on OKC. And I'm a minority. I've only had one man make any negative comments about that. 

I really enjoy online dating. And some of the men I dated weren't tall and handsome, so there's hope for everyone. It's hard to get and keep women's attention because we get bombarded (the messages we receive really aren't usually THAT creepy by the way), but if you just keep sending messages, you'll encounter someone who likes you back. 

A lot of profiles (esp. ones belonging to women) are really generic, so I imagine it's difficult to get a good idea of what someone is like based on their profile. So just message everyone you find physically attractive. Aim as low as possible to maximize your results. 

Don't expect a response unless you can make yourself stand out amongst the hoards of men messaging her. I agree that cheeky messages get better results. Even though I may lose interest eventually, guys who question my reality in some way always get a response because I feel compelled to defend myself. 

Take flattering pictures. Write solid fist messages. Don't get discouraged. Just keep bombarding the site. And exchange numbers within a week of chatting consistently because you want to meet up before she loses interest. It's easy to get distracted when hundreds of guys message you every week.


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## huh (Mar 19, 2007)

StaceyLaine14 said:


> Wow. Lots of negativity here. I've met several really nice guys on OKC. And I'm a minority. I've only had one man make any negative comments about that.
> 
> I really enjoy online dating. And some of the men I dated weren't tall and handsome, so there's hope for everyone. It's hard to get and keep women's attention because we get bombarded (the messages we receive really aren't usually THAT creepy by the way), but if you just keep sending messages, you'll encounter someone who likes you back.
> 
> ...


Well, online dating is a whole lot easier when you are dealing with tons of people messaging you and you get to pick and choose the ones you message back. I can count on one hand the number of first messages I've received from other people. I'm lucky if 1 in 10 people respond to my first message.

So to answer the OP...yes. I've tried most of the popular free sites. I've been lucky enough to get quite a few dates, even a few relationships. But it is an extremely time consuming, frustrating, and depressing experience to be stuck doing online dating. However, as a socially anxious guy, it might be one of the few options you have outside of the normal methods of meeting new people.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

I have but I wasn't serious. I just made an account just to check out some chicks in the area.


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## veron (Apr 29, 2009)

Yes, a few years ago, to no avail. I've thought about trying it again, but when I browsed through some members, there were some people on there I recognized, lol. Including a colleague I closely collaborate with :O


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## elizabethc719 (Feb 9, 2015)

Honestly, I've tried it numerous times and then once I start getting messages (which is surprisingly a lot) I freak out and delete my account within the hour. It wasn't because the people messaging me weren't attractive but for some reason it's intimdating.


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## Sparkle0 (May 23, 2015)

I have and met some ok people, dated a few, but overall we just didn't click enough and back to lonely again. 

If you're a girl you will usually get a lot of messages and it can be a little overwhelming if you have SA because then you have to visit their profiles and see what they're about. 
Also not all people are active so you might message someone and they never respond. Kinda time consuming and frustrating

I also get paranoid of having my picture on there.like afraid someone will recognize me or something. Don't know why I care, it's not a big deal, but I do..


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## saya2077 (Oct 6, 2013)

No, but I've thought about it.

Which confuses me since I'd like to start a relationship with someone who's my friend and I know. And because I don't feel ready for a relationship. But there are times I get lonely and wonder if thats my only option - although they might be put off. 
I guess I'd consider it an option when everything seems stable in my life and I'm at the point its time for me to try.


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## Ami Mystic (May 28, 2015)

I recently joined OK Cupid. I'm thinking of quitting though because I don't know if I could handle meeting up with someone. I did it once before and it was awkward as hell.


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## 40watta (Oct 12, 2008)

I think online is easier for me since chatting up strangers out in public is more nerve wracking. And it's normal to be nervous on a first date, SA or not. That's why I always suggest drinks the first date. Makes things much less awkward.


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## Dehabilitated (May 31, 2015)

Yes I have and I've had a lot of dates off online dating, directly and indirectly. I think it's a great way to meet people, and a great way for the socially anxious to meet people when you don't go out much or get involved with the type of activities that would let you meet others. It can feel like everyone around you is happily dating and you're the only single person out there, that there's no one who's both single and interesting to you, but when you go online you get to see that's not true and they're really all around you. The big thing that I like, is how when you first message someone you both know that you're looking for a date. There's no beating around the bush like in real life, trying to covertly determine if they have a partner or are looking, or if there's something obviously wrong with you that would turn them off. If you send a message and they reply, then you both know that this conversation is about going out. There are the obvious problems with online dating, but I don't think they're that bad, at least not on sites that have the appropriate features. Since I'm cheap I use the major free sites, and as you would expect on any site with a lot of straight men there are plenty of creepy messages, mostly men asking if I'm bi even though I clearly didn't check that box and then harassing me. Both of them offer ignore features though so I can forget about that quickly. A more serious issue with online dating is that you put up a whole profile explaining who you are and what you want, it gives a cheat sheet to wooing you in a sense, and anyone could say things that aren't true because they can read on your profile what you're looking for. It would be nice if you could just trust others, but I've been lied to on there before so try to read their profile and if they're saying things about their interests or life that isn't written on their profile or contradicts something on their profile, then just move on.


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## RobFox64tm (Jun 2, 2015)

I've only ever really tried e-harmony, but my experience has been pretty bad with it. I feel like I paid to get rejected a bunch, when I could've gotten that for free elsewhere. In all seriousness though, I think online dating will work for some, but not others. I really feel like if I could actually meet people in person, many of them would like me a lot, but I guess I'm just not that great at selling myself on dating websites.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

No.

I'm too unintelligent, uninteresting, unsophisticated, & unappealing in looks.

Also if I ever did consider it and I finally was in a healthy mental state to online date local girls, I'd use a site in which you have to pay a little, that way, I'd know if she was serious a tiny bit or just wanted attention. No offense but it's a small percent of people on the free sites who actually want something serious like I would, I'd prefer not to waste my time nor theirs.


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## aquariusrising (May 19, 2014)

Yes. I first tried in 2011 and on and off since rhen.
No single date worked out.
Not met anyone who was ..well...kind or friendly or just anything nice at all. 
Had some abuse as well. And game players.
They don't like me because I'm ugly, don't work and not exciting enough.


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## Strategist (May 20, 2008)

Just put my profile back up today. Was curious to see what kind of people are on okcupid. Seems like there are a lot of generic people out there, how am I supposed to sort through all of that? You are a guy, you like cars or some generic man thing, sometimes you hang out with friends, you could not live with out your family..... ok. Cool. Wtf. Also a lot of the guys that messaged me are younger which is weird. 

This is depressing and I was already depressed.


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## Zosie92 (Jun 25, 2015)

I tried quite a few towards the beginning of this year. Never took the step to meet up with anyone, always chickened out and never replied.

There was one guy I kind of hit it off with. A little Facebook stalking and I found out he was married. That was the end of that. Now I'm kind of seeing someone, I've deleted all my profiles.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## NoDak81 (Oct 26, 2015)

I tried online dating. It was a miserable experience. I tried Plenty of Fish and saw lots of trashy women there. I went on a few dates with some but nothing ever came of it. I tried Cupid or OK Cupid, or whatever site it was. I connected with one woman who was an ice queen. Coming from me that says something. I also tried eharmony. I met mostly desperate women on that site. So yeah, no more online dating.


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## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

Malek said:


> I'm too unintelligent, uninteresting, unsophisticated, & unappealing in looks.


+ the general fact that I have nothing in common with the people on these apps I have decided to quit online dating for good. The burden to obsessively keep checking the apps every minute of the day was real. A heavy weight has been lifted mentally.


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