# To the ladies...



## jvanb00c (Apr 13, 2012)

Would you ever date a guy who has a less than desireable job? I mean kind of a gritty dirty job? Or does it not matter as long as he supports himself and could maybe support you one day with this job? I just feel kind of akward about telling women what I do. Maybe I shouldn't though, I know plenty of dead beats who have their women pay for everything and don't have a job.

And to throw it to everbody, have people ever looked down on you for the job you had or wouldn't give you a chance because of what your job was?


----------



## tuneindropout (Nov 14, 2011)

What do you do? Maybe we could help put a nice spin on it


----------



## jvanb00c (Apr 13, 2012)

Not ready to throw that one out yet. 

Nah, I actually own the company of this gritty little job, it's not like I just work for it, I am it basically. Oh fine screw it, i'll open up..

Basically I own my own sanitation service. A classy way of saying I'm a trash man. Oklahoma has a bunch of areas out in the middle of nowhere and your standard county trash haulers don't pick up which leaves it open to just about anyone. So you build up a customer base and you end up being your own boss making your own hours. I like it, I just don't think most women are going to swoon over a job like that. I doubt you will ever hear the words "Oh your a trash man, that sounds so exciting please tell me more".


----------



## tuneindropout (Nov 14, 2011)

jvanb00c said:


> Not ready to throw that one out yet.
> 
> Nah, I actually own the company of this gritty little job, it's not like I just work for it, I am it basically. Oh fine screw it, i'll open up..
> 
> Basically I own my own sanitation service. A classy way of saying I'm a trash man. Oklahoma has a bunch of areas out in the middle of nowhere and your standard county trash haulers don't pick up which leaves it open to just about anyone. So you build up a customer base and you end up being your own boss making your own hours. I like it, I just don't think most women are going to swoon over a job like that. I doubt you will ever hear the words "Oh your a trash man, that sounds so exciting please tell me more".


"I run a sanitation service" sounds good to me. But honestly, I don't see anything wrong with dating someone who was a sanitation worker - it's honest work and it's a job - I don't think you have anything to worry about!


----------



## jvanb00c (Apr 13, 2012)

maybe it's just the words that are coming out wrong. Maybe it's all in how I spin it. Maybe I should say i'm a small business owner and leave it at that...although that's pretty vague and they'd probably want to know more.

In any event, despite the job itself I am a very clean person and always like to present myself in a spiffy way.


----------



## SoWrongItsRight (May 9, 2012)

Lyrix said:


> It wouldn't matter at all to me  The more gritty and dirty the job, the more admirable the guy is for doing it. I'd be proud of him.


Agreed


----------



## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

jvanb00c said:


> Would you ever date a guy who has a less than desireable job? I mean kind of a gritty dirty job? Or does it not matter as long as he supports himself and could maybe support you one day with this job? I just feel kind of akward about telling women what I do. Maybe I shouldn't though, I know plenty of dead beats who have their women pay for everything and don't have a job.
> 
> And to throw it to everbody, have people ever looked down on you for the job you had or wouldn't give you a chance because of what your job was?


Gritty, dirty job sounds appealing, actually.

I wouldn't look down on a man who'd ended up in a less-than-desirable line of work because of less-than-desirable circumstances. I wouldn't look down on a man who enjoyed his work no matter what it was. And I'd think very highly of a man who worked hard at something that was a bit out of the ordinary.


----------



## mdiada (Jun 18, 2012)

you really shouldn't worry. like others have said it's an honest job and you're responsible enough to have one. that's pretty good in my opinion


----------



## a degree of freedom (Sep 28, 2011)

tuneindropout said:


> "I run a sanitation service" sounds good to me.


That really is pretty cool. Successful entrepreneurship is pretty neat no matter what the service is as long as it's not shady.


----------



## Reveriie (Jun 24, 2012)

Aw dont even worry about that. She should be glad you are atleast working and providing for yourself. Plus, I'm pretty sure there are girls like me who likes a guy who gets dirty. Keep doing what you do =)


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Job doesn't matter to me. As long as, say, you aren't a hitman or something.  I imagine I'd be wanting to chatter about more than just what a guy does for a living (I know a guy would want to chatter about more than what *I* do for a living!--keep reading to see why), so even if I hadn't much to say on the subject of sanitation, if we had some common ground and he had a good personality the job would not matter. Well. Unless like I said you're out there whacking people.

Has anyone ever looked down on me for my job? Yes, because I've never had one and am on SSI (a sort of disability income). It's embarrassing to answer all the old classmates that I run into in public with "Nothing much" when they ask what I've been up to, because they're not interested in my hobbies, and I've never had a job. They lose interest in catching up pretty fast. The two most important things my relatives always want to know at gatherings (which thankfully I no longer attend) are if I have a boyfriend or a job yet, neither of which is going to happen, to their extreme disappointment. :roll

No guy has ever been interested in me, job or not, so that's a moot point.


----------



## roseblood (Mar 1, 2010)

Doesn't matter at all to me. I don't need to be financially supported, i wouldn't let ''him'' do that. I think most would see you as hardworking, in fact.


----------



## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

I don't care what kind of job someone has as long as I like them as a person and they pay their taxes. Personally, I don't think I would be comfortable depending on someone else to make an income for me because that would only make it harder for me to get out of the relationship if it went bad. I feel like a lot of men and women would relate to this statement.


----------



## jvanb00c (Apr 13, 2012)

Thanks ladies. I feel a bit better about this now.

Although if I ever meet a girl crazy enough to want to get to know me, I'd think i'd definitly use the "small business owner" tag instead of "garbage man". Gotta keep it classy, as classy as trash can get anyways.


----------



## ApathyDivine (Feb 28, 2012)

I think it makes you all the more manly


----------



## bf3junkie (Jun 2, 2012)

I'm a dude and I think it's manly to have dirty gritty jobs. Like that dude from that program on discovery channel.


----------



## gusstaf (Jan 1, 2012)

I'm cool with a guy who works a dirty/gritty job, provided that it isn't prostitution.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Better than being a plumber. That's what my dad was doing when he met my mom. Oh the stories he tells..... :flush Like pipes being clogged up with hundreds of used tampons and how the joke at the sewage sanitation place was that if you fell in no one would jump in to get you out..hahaha.

But really, people who work in the medical field see and touch even grosser stuff but lots of people would love to marry a nurse or a doctor. 

I don't think my ex-boyfriends appreciated that I worked as a bar hostess too much but they couldn't do anything about it. Bar hostessing is where you make drinks (usually whiskey/bourbon/scotch with water), light cigs, and talk to middle-aged businessmen. Kind of like mental prostitution. Many Japanese women do it when they are younger cause it pays more than double what normal unkilled job pays. Most don't tell their parents about it and many also keep it a secret from their boyfriend.


----------



## Whitney (Oct 2, 2008)

Yeah overall I'd think it admirable that you started your own business. Many people are afraid to try that sort of thing. So as long as you shower when you are done with the trash, I wouldn't have a problem with it


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere (Apr 10, 2012)

roseblood said:


> Doesn't matter at all to me. I don't need to be financially supported, i wouldn't let ''him'' do that. I think most would see you as hardworking, in fact.


I don't like that in relationships one person has to financially support the other. If you are able to hold a job and be independent, you should.

And I would imagine a tough guy job (like a lumberjack) would be quite attractive to a female.


----------



## Cashew (May 30, 2010)

Sounds good to me. Can't imagine why any ladies would complain!


----------



## Xarin (Sep 22, 2011)

Nope.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

My friends and I all agree, it's definitely a make it or break it situation with guys who have low paying, wage or undesirable jobs.

But as we've also noticed, it's usually the really good looking ones that lack ambition in life and we tend to meet these guys in everyday life..It's bittersweet

You know what I met this really good looking guy a few months back and I was like...damn....if only you didn't get paid_ less_ than me, you would be perfect.

Basically jobs like

customer service
Hospitality 
food Service
Drivers
Assistants
Bank tellers
Cleaner
Ushers
Bouncers
Laborers 
Repairmen
Security guards
Construction workers
Waiter
Retail
Attendants

Do not mention this to a girl upfront if you want an immediate rejection qft

You know what I just realized, I'm more turned off by the above jobs than say if a guy told me "I'm currently unemployed inbetween jobs", and looking for a higher paying job...Because the above imply dead end =/ no advancement


----------



## Whitney (Oct 2, 2008)

calichick said:


> My friends and I all agree, it's definitely a make it or break it situation with guys who have low paying, wage or undesirable jobs.
> 
> But as we've also noticed, it's usually the really good looking ones that lack ambition in life and we tend to meet these guys in everyday life..It's bittersweet
> 
> ...


Wow, you have really high standards for a 22 year old... Not everyone has their career figured out yet at that age.


----------



## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

I would admire the guy. He works hard for the money, doesn't mind that he is working hard and will most likely stick to that job therefore.. he's dependable maybe? yeah.


----------



## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

calichick said:


> My friends and I all agree, it's definitely a make it or break it situation with guys who have low paying, wage or undesirable jobs.
> 
> But as we've also noticed, it's usually the really good looking ones that lack ambition in life and we tend to meet these guys in everyday life..It's bittersweet
> 
> ...


Well I can see the idealism...you'd like to think being with someone who makes good money, and is on the same or higher income level, sounds reasonable.

But really, I think all that matters is that the person is working at all. That they want to make a living for themselves and can support themselves, I think that's good enough. A lot of those jobs you listed as "dead-ends" require a LOT of hard-work, and only certain people can really pull them off. Jobs are jobs, people need to work, and some jobs are what runs our economy, they need people for them.

I think a career is whatever someone makes the most of the job they have. Not all people HAVE to become lawyers, doctors, politicians, to be good people or successful in life. If we were all made of those things, we'd have no sanitation services, grocery stores, gas stations, etc.

A lot of the time, especially in the competitive corporate world, those people tend to be stuck-up elitists because they make more money, while a lot of people I work with in the customer service industry, have to deal with so much, but get paid very little. I'm not going to get too far into this, of course not all corporate people are bad people either (I don't want to generalize).

Basically, a job doesn't define whether or not the person is good. I think as long as the two of you are happy, can support themselves, and you have one another, things will work out. The job doesn't completely make up your identity, if that's all you are is the job, then you're just a figure.


----------



## Whitney (Oct 2, 2008)

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Well I can see the idealism...you'd like to think being with someone who makes good money, and is on the same or higher income level, sounds reasonable.
> 
> But really, I think all that matters is that the person is working at all. That they want to make a living for themselves and can support themselves, I think that's good enough. A lot of those jobs you listed as "dead-ends" require a LOT of hard-work, and only certain people can really pull them off. Jobs are jobs, people need to work, and some jobs are what runs our economy, they need people for them.
> 
> ...


And a lot of the jobs she listed as "dead-end" aren't necessarily... you can move up to management or something and make good money.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Whitney said:


> Wow, you have really high standards for a 22 year old... Not everyone has their career figured out yet at that age.


I know that, which is why I tend to go for slightly older 24+) men.

Girls mature faster than guys. I already have my career set in milestones before me. It's only natural to desire someone who is on a similar goal oriented path.



A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Well I can see the idealism...you'd like to think being with someone who makes good money, and is on the same or higher income level, sounds reasonable.
> 
> *But really, I think all that matters is that the person is working at all. That they want to make a living for themselves and can support themselves, I think that's good enough.* A lot of those jobs you listed as "dead-ends" require a LOT of hard-work, and only certain people can really pull them off. Jobs are jobs, people need to work, and some jobs are what runs our economy, they need people for them.
> 
> ...


But I'm not content with 'good enough.' I never settle, I think having ambition in your 20s is extremely important on building character for the rest of your life and laying the groundwork for future pursuits (of course there are the exceptions).

Also, another thing, I've already established in my mind, since a young age, the importance of money, and how money and success are intertwined, this is part of my thinking. A person who does not value money would not be compatible with me, so in reality, I would not be happy in that situation and as you mentioned above happiness in a relationship is one of the most valued points.

I think a job defines a part of who you are. I think that we spend 75% of our lives at work, and a person is inevitably going to be tied to that title his job gives him. Your job isn't part of your personality, but it is a part of _who _you are.

You can't be ashamed of what your partner does.. You should embrace them for who and what they are. A relationship built on the 'bare minimum' compatability level is set for disaster.


----------



## HopefulDreamer (Feb 26, 2012)

I've never looked down on someone for their job. I briefly dated someone who made less than me, and it wasn't something that ever bothered me. I feel that if someone is working, then that's good. At least they are supporting themselves.

I get looked down on for my job since I work in a factory.


----------



## Secretaz (Sep 10, 2011)

I wouldn't care about it.


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

calichick said:


> My friends and I all agree, it's definitely a make it or break it situation with guys who have low paying, wage or undesirable jobs.
> 
> But as we've also noticed, it's usually the really good looking ones that lack ambition in life and we tend to meet these guys in everyday life..It's bittersweet
> 
> ...


I actually admire/am a little bit turned on by a few of those professions (do the security guard and driver get uniforms...?--is the usher dressed like one of those old-fashioned bellhops?--mrowrr! :blush ) and the others don't bother me at all. My dad was first in charge of housekeeping where he used to work (retired), then in charge of security, and he made decent money and wasn't anyone to be ashamed of for it. I think to be involved in security professions (and among that I think I'd include bouncers) is honorable and takes lots of guts, in many places. Pretty attractive.

I guess you speak for you and your friends. Looks like a lot of other women here wouldn't agree. :stu


----------



## Socialanxiety11 (Oct 3, 2011)

it wouldn't matter, hell i have no life.


----------



## Whitney (Oct 2, 2008)

The more I think about this the more I like it. You are providing a valuable and necessary service to society. You started your own business. You are an entrepreneur. You are your own boss. You have nothing to be ashamed of.


----------



## kilgoretrout (Jul 20, 2011)

Eh, I don't think I would care. I've held jobs that aren't exactly desirable either (well, for someone my age) and I've been embarrassed telling people where I worked. I don't even have a job right now (and I'm not even in school) and I'm ashamed about it. A job's a job, right? Someone has to do it.


----------



## loneyakuza (Jun 21, 2012)

calichick said:


> My friends and I all agree, it's definitely a make it or break it situation with guys who have low paying, wage or undesirable jobs.
> 
> But as we've also noticed, it's usually the really good looking ones that lack ambition in life and we tend to meet these guys in everyday life..It's bittersweet
> 
> ...


So essentially you are only after a guy for his status and his money.

This is why I don't think I'll ever be dating and would rather spend my money on an escort lady who has been tested for STDs, because it is less time wasted and less money wasted overall when compared to chasing after women. I know several guys who got conned by women who went on dates with them.

These guys only found out after the 5th date that the women were basically going on dates with them just to get free meals.... wtf seriously? This is why guys also need to start splitting the bill 50/50 or simply saying that they should each pay for their own food.


----------



## loneyakuza (Jun 21, 2012)

whiterabbit said:


> This reminds me of the one episode of _Frasier_ that I ever watched. One of the female characters was worrying and fretting because the garbage man she was dating was perfectly content to be a garbage man and she just didn't know if she could date someone like that! I was scoffing at the tv for the whole episode.
> 
> Yeah, some people are into ambition. I don't really care about it.
> 
> ...


This is how the convo goes with me

Me: So what do you do?
Them: I work at the docks and occasionally in the warehouse
Me: Do you get to operate cranes and whatnot?
Them: Yeah. It's fun.
Me: Sounds awesome!


----------



## Whitney (Oct 2, 2008)

loneyakuza said:


> So essentially you are only after a guy for his status and his money.
> 
> This is why I don't think I'll ever be dating and would rather spend my money on an escort lady who has been tested for STDs, because it is less time wasted and less money wasted overall when compared to chasing after women. I know several guys who got conned by women who went on dates with them.
> 
> These guys only found out after the 5th date that the women were basically going on dates with them just to get free meals.... wtf seriously? This is why guys also need to start splitting the bill 50/50 or simply saying that they should each pay for their own food.


If you think she is only after guys for status and money, then it sounds like you are only after girls for sex, since you are happy with an escort.

It really has to do with finding someone similar to yourself. If your career and ambition and money are very important to you, then you want to be with someone the same. If she was saying that she doesn't have a job or doesn't make much money or doesn't want to work, but wants a guy with a really good job and really good paycheck, then yeah, I'd say she's only after money and status. But she's saying she has a good job and wants someone with the same. Other people may say (myself included) that the jobs she's excluded are often still good jobs, but to her that's not what she wants. She's just looking for someone she is compatible with, she is not just after the money.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

For dating it doesn't matter so much, but you wouldn't want to marry someone that makes less than $20 an hour or doesn't have health insurance. And even if they do make good money, if the work is hard on the body, they most likely will not be able to continue it till retirement age. And they will end up with a host of health problems.


----------



## loneyakuza (Jun 21, 2012)

Whitney said:


> If you think she is only after guys for status and money, then it sounds like you are only after girls for sex, since you are happy with an escort.
> 
> It really has to do with finding someone similar to yourself. If your career and ambition and money are very important to you, then you want to be with someone the same. If she was saying that she doesn't have a job or doesn't make much money or doesn't want to work, but wants a guy with a really good job and really good paycheck, then yeah, I'd say she's only after money and status. But she's saying she has a good job and wants someone with the same. Other people may say (myself included) that the jobs she's excluded are often still good jobs, but to her that's not what she wants. She's just looking for someone she is compatible with, she is not just after the money.


First of all an escort is not a prostitute. Hiring an escort is also to have female companionship/just talking to her. I know some old guys who get escorts simply to talk to or have dinner with. It is not always about sex.

What exactly is a good job? To me that is relative. The important thing is that the guy enjoys his job, is able to take care of himself, and will be able to hold onto his job for a long time. I will probably go into the police force or do something in law such as becoming a paralegal, but becoming a lawyer may not be possible because of financial issues. And I know many girls who won't settle for anything less than a doctor or lawyer. So even if I am intelligent enough to become one, they don't care about that quality or any other qualities/talents, and only care about how much money you make. To me, that is still golddigging because money becomes the primary reason you date or don't date somebody.

Females want equality, yet they still want a man to make more than her, be more than a foot taller than her, etc. etc. It sounds like women/modern feminists just want the cake and be able to eat it as well. If you truly believe in equality, there should be nothing wrong with a guy who makes a couple thousand-a-year less than you but enjoys his job. And there should be nothing wrong with a guy one inch shorter than you who is confident in his physical abilities. But to many women, it seems like there is something extremely wrong with a guy if either of these points are true. If women want equality, then maybe men should start judging women the same way they judge men. If the woman does not hold a job that makes a lot of money, doesn't have any talents other than being able to put on makeup and look pretty, etc. etc. then she is not worthy either.

It seems like most women want a James Bond type of guy who makes 200K a year even if her total talents/positive points put together only equal 1/8th of his. Many of those guys got to the point of being able to make 200K because they come from old money and can cheat the system with connections. I've met a lot of those types at the ivy league level. They are not actually very hard workers and can always fall back on mom and dad's money if need be. They are also usually extremely arrogant, have unpleasant personalities, are alcoholics, and join frats that have old test paper/answers/cheatgroups/adderall.


----------



## Whitney (Oct 2, 2008)

loneyakuza said:


> First of all an escort is not a prostitute. Hiring an escort is also to have female companionship/just talking to her. I know some old guys who get escorts simply to talk to or have dinner with. It is not always about sex.
> 
> What exactly is a good job? To me that is relative. The important thing is that the guy enjoys his job, is able to take care of himself, and will be able to hold onto his job for a long time. I will probably go into the police force or do something in law such as becoming a paralegal, but becoming a lawyer may not be possible because of financial issues. And I know many girls who won't settle for anything less than a doctor or lawyer. So even if I am intelligent enough to become one, they don't care about that quality or any other qualities/talents, and only care about how much money you make. To me, that is still golddigging because money becomes the primary reason you date or don't date somebody.
> 
> ...


Maybe you have just been exposed to the wrong women. Because I would say *some* women want guys like that but not *most*. My boyfriend works in retail. He has been fired from 2 retail jobs in the past year for reasons not his fault. He just started a new one, 100% commission, so how much he will make is still to be determined. Most likely, it will be $25,000-$30,000, if that. I fully intend to marry him. I have a bachelor's degree and am almost finished with my master's. I don't have a job, but once I graduate I should be qualified for a job making at least double of what he makes. I don't think either of us have a problem with that. Once we get married we will share the money that we both make. My mom has always made more than my dad, and it never seemed to bother either of them that I know.

That being said, I can fully understand the desire to find someone with equal job ambition or equal pay. Equal, is what I was talking about, not a guy that makes more. I never said that.

I can also understand the desire for women to find a man that can support them both and allow her to stay home and raise the kids. Having a parent at home full time when the kids are very young is very good for their development. Good, but not necessary. My mom went back to work when I was 6 weeks. I may have my issues, but I doubt that is the reason.

Also, sorry I was assuming you meant prostitute by escort. It still seems strange to me to pay someone to hang out with you though.


----------



## loneyakuza (Jun 21, 2012)

Whitney said:


> Maybe you have just been exposed to the wrong women. Because I would say *some* women want guys like that but not *most*. My boyfriend works in retail. He has been fired from 2 retail jobs in the past year for reasons not his fault. He just started a new one, 100% commission, so how much he will make is still to be determined. Most likely, it will be $25,000-$30,000, if that. I fully intend to marry him. I have a bachelor's degree and am almost finished with my master's. I don't have a job, but once I graduate I should be qualified for a job making at least double of what he makes. I don't think either of us have a problem with that. Once we get married we will share the money that we both make. My mom has always made more than my dad, and it never seemed to bother either of them that I know.
> 
> That being said, I can fully understand the desire to find someone with equal job ambition or equal pay. Equal, is what I was talking about, not a guy that makes more. I never said that.
> 
> ...


Good on you if you truly love your boyfriend for who he is and don't care that he only makes 25K to 30K.

The desire for a woman to find a man to support them both is in the past because this is the feminist era, remember? We want things to be equal between the sexes, so it should be improper for a woman to want to be able to mooch off a guy, just like it is considered improper for a guy to make nothing and mooch off a woman. It will become harder for women to mooch off men anyways, as the numbers of men going to college are declining and currently women outnumber men in colleges.

Prostitution is illegal except in Nevada. Most guys who hire escorts are older gentlemen in their 40s or late 30s who simply are not experienced enough for women but have done well for themselves financially so they basically "hire a girlfriend." Some of these guys are in their 60s/70s and can't have sex anymore anyways because they aren't healthy and are just lonely as **** so they hire an escort to keep them company, occasionally. There are older women who also hire male escorts, usually in the big cities. Then there are younger guys 20s-mid 30s who hire escorts because they are basically socially inept or have no friends whatsoever due to SA or some other fear of social interaction brought about by isolation, bullying, etc. I know a few Indian, white, and Asian guys in their 20s who have gone the escort route because they simply have a very difficult time making friends/get rejected most of the time (often times due to race or height or whatever)... and they have been virgins all their lives, so getting an escort to at least have some sexual experience as well as social experience with women is basically like "practice" for them. After all, some of these guys are socially retarded Asian/Indian engineers who may be virgins/foreverstallone for life if they didn't do it with an escort.


----------



## Deserted (Jul 25, 2011)

Lyrix said:


> It wouldn't matter at all to me  The more gritty and dirty the job, the more admirable the guy is for doing it. I'd be proud of him.


This here, more or less.


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Why do these threads keep turning into how nasty all men or all women are, how all/most men or all/most women must want this or that or whatever? Hasn't the number of such threads getting locked taught anyone this lesson yet?  The OP was just what people would think of a person who held a particular job. Now, suddenly, escorts are again introduced to the discussion! WTF??

Seriously. I wish that the next time somebody starts to type, "All/most women..." or "All/most men..." they would STOP AND THINK FIRST.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

chuu23 said:


> What jobs are acceptable to you? What's your job? Did you grow up with money? I'm curious.
> 
> It is much better if a guy is willing to work any job to support himself and his family. My father is considered to be good looking and tall for his ethnic/age group. He has continued to refuse to take "low pay" or "low rank" jobs because he thinks he is entitled to better work. As you can guess, if you don't have a stable history of employment, it's unlikely you will find a good job or advance. This places enormous stress on my mother and she has to work 2-3 P/T jobs to pay the bills.


The question isn't 'what jobs are acceptable to me' but what jobs are not acceptable to me, i.e. jobs that involve labor or customer service, or any of the things I mentioned on that list and related wage jobs. I like jobs that involve specialized degrees and such, I make above the average salary for a college grad, my job involves business, I did *not* grow up with money.

I think like you said, it is definitely better for someone to take any job over no job* if* he has a family to support and parental obligations to meet, but I'm nowhere close to being in that situation. I am mainly interested in 20 something year olds who don't have children or have never been married. Dead end jobs aren't entirely appealing in terms of long term financial stability or ambitious pursuits.



tehuti88 said:


> *I think to be involved in security professions (and among that I think I'd include bouncers) is honorable and takes lots of guts, in many places. Pretty attractive.*


For me personally, **unskilled* labor/work is the least attractive occupation a person could hold. To classify my list~

http://www.experienceintrax.com/assets/participants/list_of_unskilled_occupations.pdf

I just have a negative connotation of this work as low class....taboo but true. Either that or the majority of guys who approach me have jobs on this list, and I tend to associate the man with the job. lol



loneyakuza said:


> *So essentially you are only after a guy for his status and his money. *
> 
> This is why I don't think I'll ever be dating and would rather spend my money on an escort lady who has been tested for STDs, because it is less time wasted and less money wasted overall when compared to chasing after women. I know several guys who got conned by women who went on dates with them.
> 
> These guys only found out after the 5th date that the women were basically going on dates with them just to get free meals.... wtf seriously? This is why guys also need to start splitting the bill 50/50 or simply saying that they should each pay for their own food.


No not entirely. Just because I have standards doesn't imply that's the ONLY thing I'm looking for. I'm also looking for attractiveness, personality, chemistry, background, goals, interests, etc etc. You can't label it as the "ONLY" thing I'm looking for if I have a certain level I need the guy to be above. (in terms of jobs)

And btw, if a guy told me to split the bill, I'd be like BYE B*TCH nice knowing you. I've known some pretty sleezy men who have paid the entire date, so if a guy can't even manage to do that...



Whitney said:


> *It really has to do with finding someone similar to yourself.* If your career and ambition and money are very important to you, then you want to be with someone the same. If she was saying that she doesn't have a job or doesn't make much money or doesn't want to work, but wants a guy with a really good job and really good paycheck, then yeah, I'd say she's only after money and status. But she's saying she has a good job and wants someone with the same. Other people may say (myself included) that the jobs she's excluded are often still good jobs, but to her that's not what she wants. She's just looking for someone she is compatible with, she is not just after the money.


That is exactly what it is. Because what it all boils down to is compatibility. One of my main goals in life is to make more and more money. Someone who is just _content_ with being stagnant forever would just annoy the hell out of me and drive me away. Having common goals and dreams helps in a relationship because you want to go down the same path in life.


----------



## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

A job is a job... I wouldn't give a **** as long as he had one and didn't expect me to support his lazy ***.


----------



## jvanb00c (Apr 13, 2012)

Thanks for the responses. Much more positive than I thought. Not that I thought all women were gold diggers but I felt there was kind of a stigma with my job but I've been proven wrong with the exception of one or two but thank you as well, it's always good to get two sides of the story.

And yeah people come on now, this isn't another male vs. female debate and there is no need to keep going to that well. Men and Women both have their amazing people and their bad apples so no need to turn everything into a gender war.


----------



## CoastalSprite (Sep 8, 2011)

I'm planning for a career as a Registered Nurse.. My job is probably going to be much grosser than yours, but mainly because of its economic prospects and positive contributions to society, anyone I've told this to responded positively. Except for one, who said I should switch to accountancy because it was "cleaner"..

Anyways my point is you're making a good living, and in a job that doesn't make you miserable (I assume).. Personally I'd rather my guy be happy than stressed/miserable all the time and have a prettier job.


----------



## PeachyAlice (Feb 8, 2012)

To me it doesn't matter, met enough guys who either live with their parents at 35 because they don't want a job or who are just "too good" to even work in a store or something because it's "below them", THAT kind of crap turns me off like nothing else. As long as the guy is working I don't care whatsoever how dirty the job is. 

As for your second question, yeah, I've been judged based on that I work at a callcenter. I always tell people who judge me that it's either that or they pay my rent for me, to which they don't really have an answer. I find people who judge other's based on their occupation to be pathetic. We all have to fight to find and keep a job, whatever the job is, it's a victory and should be admired.


----------



## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

loneyakuza said:


> So essentially you are only after a guy for his status and his money.
> 
> This is why I don't think I'll ever be dating and would rather spend my money on an escort lady who has been tested for STDs, because it is less time wasted and less money wasted overall when compared to chasing after women. I know several guys who got conned by women who went on dates with them.
> 
> These guys only found out after the 5th date that the women were basically going on dates with them just to get free meals.... wtf seriously? This is why guys also need to start splitting the bill 50/50 or simply saying that they should each pay for their own food.


That sounds a bit unfair. The poster who talked about this clearly explained that money and having ambition based around money is important to her. It isn't that she claims she wants a rich guy just because she wants him to buy her things or take care of her.

Her view point is perfectly acceptable and a pretty good choice for her personally. She knows what she wants and wants to find someone with similar views, that is a good thing. She didn't say she dislikes people with these jobs or looks down on them for it. I am sure she would be friends with people with these jobs. They just aren't partner material for her.


----------



## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

@jvan OP

I think you are really worrying about this more than is required. I would be lying if I said that it wouldn't put any girls off at all, of course it will. For various reasons. But not every guy can appeal to any girl anyway seeing as everyone wants slightly or very different things from a partner/life.

There will be many girls who won't care about your "gritty" job. Like many have said you have a job and are providing for yourself. That is all that matters  Keep doing what you want.


----------



## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

calichick said:


> And btw, if a guy told me to split the bill, I'd be like BYE B*TCH nice knowing you. I've known some pretty sleezy men who have paid the entire date, so if a guy can't even manage to do that...


Thats pretty crappy tbh... what is wrong with splitting the bill? Did the guy eat your food too?

Or maybe you go with the rule "he asked me out, so he pays", if that is the case everytime you drag your guy doing something you want to do, you should technically pay.

I found everything you said to be fine in all of your other responses, except for this. If someone refused to split the bill with me who was working an "above average job" as you are, I would be annoyed. I'd go as far to say that if I asked and she refused, I would just walk out the place and leave my half of the money on the table, leaving her to pay her half. Clearly she doesn't deserve anything from me if she cant even meet me halfway on a simple date.


----------



## Lilith Harper (Jun 9, 2012)

To be perfectly honest, my parents raised me to seek more than I have now. I would never settle for a guy who couldn't support me, but on the other hand, being eternally afraid of being single and lonely, I could settle for any guy, however much he earns, or doesn't earn. But again, trying not to be shallow, I don't think it's possible for me to love someone who isn't educated, intellectual and capable of earning buckets of money.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Durzo said:


> Thats pretty crappy tbh... what is wrong with splitting the bill? Did the guy eat your food too?
> 
> Or maybe you go with the rule "he asked me out, so he pays", if that is the case everytime you drag your guy doing something you want to do, you should technically pay.
> 
> I found everything you said to be fine in all of your other responses, except for this.* If someone refused to split the bill with me who was working an "above average job" as you are, I would be annoyed*.


I'm going to give you some info about women, we don't take anything for _face value_. We interpret every action as having a deeper meaning.

For example, requesting that after the date you split the bill with her is indicative of the fact that either 1) you're cheap which makes us question whether you are consistently like that, 2) you're not really that into her because a guy who really cared would do anything for her, 3) you have poor mannerisms which implies your values are different.

In most situations,*it's RARELY about the actual money* being spent. It could be a $3 ice cream or a $40 steak (which men should keep in mind when selecting the date spot if they don't want to break the bank LOL), it's about making an effort to show her that you like her.

*For me personally, I am extremely generous with other people. I will always offer to pay in whatever situation I'm in. But if I'm on a date, even though I'll offer to pay, I'll be expecting him to.



> *I'd go as far to say that if I asked and she refused, I would just walk out the place and leave my half of the money on the table, leaving her to pay her half. Clearly she doesn't deserve anything from me if she cant even meet me halfway on a simple date.*


^^ and btw, this above just proved my entire point. Your actions show your character and what kind of person you are. Not the most appealing qualities to a female.


----------



## Samtrix (Aug 22, 2011)

bf3junkie said:


> I'm a dude and I think it's manly to have dirty gritty jobs. Like that dude from that program on discovery channel.


Yeah, everyone loves Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs. It really wouldn't bother me, and if you don't like calling yourself a garbage man, why don't you say you work in waste management?


----------



## loneyakuza (Jun 21, 2012)

calichick said:


> I'm going to give you some info about women, we don't take anything for _face value_. We interpret every action as having a deeper meaning.
> 
> For example, requesting that after the date you split the bill with her is indicative of the fact that either 1) you're cheap which makes us question whether you are consistently like that, 2) you're not really that into her because a guy who really cared would do anything for her, 3) you have poor mannerisms which implies your values are different.
> 
> ...


To you, the guy showing affection for you is based on how much money the guy spends on you (because that supposedly shows how much he cares about you). That is gold digger mentality. What if he is in debt because he had to take tons of loans out for medical school or law school and hasn't found a solid career yet? That can really financially strain some people. So even if they really care about you, they have to look at their own financial situation realistically.

What if I really cared about you and carved something out of wood into some symbol you hold dear and made sure I did a good job of it? What if I composed a song and played it for you on the guitar or piano? Because I really care about you. 
Would that to you be worth less than if I gave you a 24 karat necklace? I would probably give the 24 karat necklace regardless because I know women like shiney things. But if you value that necklace more than the feelings conveyed through song or art, then I'd say you have a gold digger mentality. I'm just being blunt and honest.

----

On topic, I have great respect for men who do dirty gritty jobs. They are often jobs that take guts and courage, such as going into a sewage drain that is knee high with filth and **** and such. I also have great respect for soldiers and those in public services like firefighters and policemen/women. Carpenters, electricians, those are all extremely practical jobs that I also have great respect for. The people I don't have any respect for are the wallstreet guys who don't even know how to make their own coffee and have their secretary women do it for them. Independent, rugged lumberjacks/mountain workers is also a +1 in my books because they can take care of themselves and are usually tough as hell. Maybe they are not too bright because they have never had opportunities to pursue higher education, but they have their own unique skillset and knowledge related to stuff that makes up the foundation of most economies.


----------



## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

calichick said:


> For example, requesting that after the date you split the bill with her is indicative of the fact that either 1) you're cheap which makes us question whether you are consistently like that, 2) you're not really that into her because a guy who really cared would do anything for her, 3) you have poor mannerisms which implies your values are different.
> 
> In most situations,* it's RARELY about the actual money* being spent. It could be a $3 ice cream or a $40 steak (which men should keep in mind when selecting the date spot if they don't want to break the bank LOL), it's about making an effort to show her that you like her.


And with guys it is the same. All 3 of those points apply to women too. So they are invalid. Except the third one which is just quite frankly, ridiculous. How is it showing poor manner?

I am sorry guys should not have to prove themselves like this. A relationship should be 50/50 not 70/30. You can show her you like her in other ways on the date / time together other than throwing cash around if she refuses too. Although it isnt a relationship at this stage, it is the base of one if it does develop, and I would remember it well and be put off.


----------



## Twelve Keyz (Aug 28, 2011)

loneyakuza said:


> So essentially you are only after a guy for his status and his money.
> 
> This is why I don't think I'll ever be dating and would rather spend my money on an escort lady who has been tested for STDs, because it is less time wasted and less money wasted overall when compared to chasing after women. I know several guys who got conned by women who went on dates with them.


Fortunately, not all women are like this.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Yeah, the initial dates are sort of a way to prove that you are really interested in the woman by putting in effort. Cause most guys have really low standards with who they will sleep with but are quite picky about who they will commit to. The more a guy likes a woman the more effort he will put into it. 

Some guys are really awful. I've had some want the first date to be at their place and only pizza and a crappy movie was on the menu. I can also kind of tell how interested they are if they are willing to come to my area since I live on the edge of the city. If they aren't willing then I know they aren't that into me.


----------



## loneyakuza (Jun 21, 2012)

Lilith Harper said:


> To be perfectly honest, my parents raised me to seek more than I have now. I would never settle for a guy who couldn't support me, but on the other hand, being eternally afraid of being single and lonely, I could settle for any guy, however much he earns, or doesn't earn. But again, trying not to be shallow, I don't think it's possible for me to love someone who isn't educated, intellectual and capable of earning buckets of money.


Wow just wow. And you wonder why some of us are against modern feminism?


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

komorikun said:


> *Yeah, the initial dates are sort of a way to prove that you are really interested in the woman by putting in effort.* Cause most guys have really low standards with who they will sleep with but are quite picky about who they will commit to. *The more a guy likes a woman the more effort he will put into it. *
> 
> Some guys are really awful. I've had some want the first date to be at their place and only pizza and a crappy movie was on the menu. I can also kind of tell how interested they are if they are willing to come to my area since I live on the edge of the city. If they aren't willing then I know they aren't that into me.


lolol qft, but you'd be surprised.

Some guys are willing to spend QUITE a bit for a casual night of sex ^^

I guess it all depends on how desperate they are at the moment.


----------



## loneyakuza (Jun 21, 2012)

Durzo said:


> And with guys it is the same. All 3 of those points apply to women too. So they are invalid. Except the third one which is just quite frankly, ridiculous. How is it showing poor manner?
> 
> I am sorry guys should not have to prove themselves like this. A relationship should be 50/50 not 70/30. You can show her you like her in other ways on the date / time together other than throwing cash around if she refuses too.


Exactly. A woman can't want "equality" and also want to be treated like she is a queen. The 70/30 thing is what girls with princess syndrome do and they usually find desperate, un-confident men to fulfill the role of their servant.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

loneyakuza said:


> Exactly. A woman can't want "equality" and also want to be treated like she is a queen. The 70/30 thing is what girls with princess syndrome do and* they usually find desperate, un-confident men to fulfill the role of their servant.*


...

u mad?

Fact: the most CONFIDENT of guys would give it all up for a woman they are head over heels for.

Ah,_ romance for you_.


----------



## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

calichick said:


> ...
> 
> u mad?
> 
> ...


what I read "ah equality for you".....


----------



## Twelve Keyz (Aug 28, 2011)

calichick said:


> lolol qft, but you'd be surprised.
> 
> Some guys are willing to spend QUITE a bit for a casual night of sex ^^
> 
> I guess it all depends on how desperate they are at the moment.


:doh that's called prostitution.


----------



## loneyakuza (Jun 21, 2012)

calichick said:


> ...
> 
> u mad?
> 
> ...


LOL I don't need a woman to live. STD free escort is perfectly fine with me and wacking off to porn (then again everybody does this even married men). I have more ambitious goals in life in which having a woman or a family can only hinder.

But if you think that confident men will give everything, you are so damn wrong it isn't even funny. They know your games and they know your mindtricks. We have entire playbooks already written up to counteract your every move. Go to bb.com and read some of the stuff on relationships. Or go to any pickup artist site. The mentality most of those guys have will leave you fuming. I can guarantee it, and most guys who have their shiznit together think the same way. One of our biggest rules is that caving to a woman's every whim and desire is the fastest way to lose her and we never let her get away with things she thinks she can get away with just because she is a girl.

And we never let women control us. You can cry all you want show all the crocodile tears, etc. and try to manipulate us emotionally. But the fact is that there are so many other women out there, we don't have a hard time if you leave at the end of the day. Only betas will let their hearts be burned by that kind of woman.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

I know this is SAS and all, but come on guys. You have to know a little something about the dating game.

I can't teach it, it's an acquired skilled. Komorikun are you as appalled by the logic above as I am...



Twelve Keyz said:


> :doh that's called prostitution.


what the, I don't even, who what where when why is this even.

You are aware that a lot of guys aim for sex at the end of a date right? A date is like a few hours of foreplay before the actual event.

Just fyi.


----------



## Winds (Apr 17, 2011)

calichick said:


> I know this is SAS and all, but come on guys. You have to know a little something about the dating game.
> 
> lol I can't teach it, it's an acquired skilled. Komorikun are you as appalled by the logic above as I am...


Tell them cali

"Money make me come"


----------



## Michael127 (Dec 10, 2011)

This topic went off kilter as soon as the OP asked women for advice in dating. If you need approval from women, then you have already lost. Just do what makes you happy and the rest will fall into place.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

EastWinds said:


> Tell them cali


I can't help people get laid. Well I can but these people above won't listen to me. haha



loneyakuza said:


> *LOL I don't need a woman to live. *.


/End thread.


----------



## saltyleaf (Dec 30, 2011)

honestly i could care less. as long as he's not unemployed and we're not living under a bridge it doesn't matter.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

You know what kind of makes me laugh.

The dating advice I give on here, I know that a lot of guys hate on me for it and are like "Calichick you are crazy!", but I know that about 90% of those guys are very impressionable, and all of the reasoning sticks in their heads.

By the time you guys go on your first dates, 5 million Calichick sayings will be swirling in your head, I bet you'll be trying TOO hard to please her.

"don't mention you're a virgin"
"Pay 110% of the date"
"Try not to be TOO nice, keep things a little interesting"
"Don't be desperate after the date"
"Don't come off like a creeper, too forward and you're a perv"

One wrong step....


----------



## JustKittenRightMeow (Jul 25, 2011)

I wouldn't care. At least they have a job and make money. 

If they worked in sewers all day, I wouldn't give a poop as long as they showered good afterwards LOL.


----------



## Twelve Keyz (Aug 28, 2011)

calichick said:


> You know what kind of makes me laugh.
> 
> The dating advice I give on here, I know that a lot of guys hate on me for it and are like "Calichick you are crazy!", but I know that about 90% of those guys are very impressionable, and all of the reasoning sticks in their heads.
> 
> ...


nothing wrong with any of that advice. It's your opinion. The problem is when you claim that all women are like you. They aren't. And if you're not convinced, just read through some of the other responses on this thread:



Shauna The Dead said:


> A job is a job... I wouldn't give a **** as long as he had one and didn't expect me to support his lazy ***.





saltyleaf said:


> honestly i could care less. as long as he's not unemployed and we're not living under a bridge it doesn't matter.





JustKittenRightMeow said:


> I wouldn't care. At least they have a job and make money.
> 
> If they worked in sewers all day, I wouldn't give a poop as long as they showered good afterwards LOL.


----------



## loneyakuza (Jun 21, 2012)

calichick said:


> You know what kind of makes me laugh.
> 
> The dating advice I give on here, I know that a lot of guys hate on me for it and are like "Calichick you are crazy!", but I know that about 90% of those guys are very impressionable, and all of the reasoning sticks in their heads.
> 
> ...


I actually agree with all the quotes except for the pay 110% of the dates. I would pay for the first date and then say split it the second or something like that. I can't go on paying for all the dates forever. That would just be stupid. A girl thinks she can mooch off me even before we have anything going? Hell naw. I ain't falling for that trick.


----------



## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

calichick said:


> Also, same question for you, how many dates have you been on. Just curious.


Actually I have never been on a date. I have a girlfriend who I love though, if you were wondering.

I, unlike you, actually do want equality for women and men. But people like you do not make it possible by keeping behaviour like this around. How can they be equal if you are expecting the guy to do more than you? I am not expecting the woman to do more than me, I am just asking to be met half way. Which is unlike you, you are asking him to do more.

Sure you want your partner or date or whatever to show that they are willing to do that bit extra for you, but to demand it is not acceptable. You do it because you want to not because you feel its unacceptable not to (for this type of thing anyway).


----------



## artistgyrrl (Oct 26, 2010)

The only jobs that would bother me are gynocologist or morticians


----------



## MoonlightSky (Mar 24, 2012)

Yes, it doesn't really affect me what job my partner has.


----------



## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

*** THREAD ADVISORY ***

Posts have been removed.

Go after the *argument*, not the *person behind it*. Further issues in here will result in this thread being shut down. 

*Board Guidelines:*



> Personal attacks on any member of this community will not be tolerated. Any post, which is judged by the moderators to be defamatory, degrading, threatening, humiliating, insulting or hurtful in any way to another member of the community, will be edited or deleted at the moderators' discretion. Antagonizing or demeaning language that isn't necessarily directed at any individual may also be considered unacceptable.


----------



## Magus (May 19, 2010)

calichick said:


> I can't help people get laid. Well I can but these people above won't listen to me. haha


To all male lonely, male SAS'ers: Never take advice from a woman on how to get women.

And if she refuses to go Dutch, then she is clearly full of herself. You don't want to be with a woman like that.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Magus said:


> To all male lonely, male SAS'ers: Never take advice from a woman on how to get women.
> 
> And if she refuses to go Dutch, then she is clearly full of herself. You don't want to be with a woman like that.


^this logic is called 'no game'

Man I would make a f^* brilliant dude...I'd have women eating out of my palms :lol


----------



## Twelve Keyz (Aug 28, 2011)

Magus said:


> To all male lonely, male SAS'ers: Never take advice from a woman on how to get women.
> 
> And if she refuses to go Dutch, then she is clearly full of herself. You don't want to be with a woman like that.


yup, exactly.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

All the guys I've ever dated have paid for everything.

It's a shame there aren't more guys like that in the world.

To all girls: find yourself a real man!


----------



## Magus (May 19, 2010)

calichick said:


> All the guys I've ever dated have paid for everything.
> 
> It's a shame there aren't more guys like that in the world.
> 
> To all girls: find yourself a real man!


A real man doesn't let women walk all over him, he has a backbone. You don't want a man, you want some beta male that pays for everything while begging you for sex once a month. Fortunately for you, they are not in short supply.


----------



## loneyakuza (Jun 21, 2012)

calichick said:


> All the guys I've ever dated have paid for everything.
> 
> It's a shame there aren't more guys like that in the world.
> 
> To all girls: find yourself a real man!












You can't be serious. You cannot want equality between the sexes and still expect these things. Once again this argument and type of thinking is what will lead to the downfall of feminism, because you are making it so that everything is balanced (actually not balanced but completely unbalanced) in favor of the woman instead of actually meeting half way. No wonder we have traditionalists and men-going-their-own-way popping up everywhere.


----------



## Twelve Keyz (Aug 28, 2011)

yes! I agree! Girls, go out there and get yourself a doormat! There's nothing more satisfying :lol


----------



## Earl of Lemongrab (May 15, 2012)

calichick said:


> All the guys I've ever dated have paid for everything.
> 
> It's a shame there aren't more guys like that in the world.
> 
> To all girls: find yourself a real man!


Yeah...you do realize that beta males aren't even supposed to spread their genes? That is why they are so passive.


----------



## loneyakuza (Jun 21, 2012)

Magus said:


> A real man doesn't let women walk all over him, he has a backbone. You don't want a man, you want some beta male that pays for everything while begging you for sex once a month. Fortunately for you, they are not in short supply.


----------



## Twelve Keyz (Aug 28, 2011)

lol never seen that one before


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Magus said:


> A real man doesn't let women walk all over him, he has a backbone. You don't want a man, you want some beta male that pays for everything while begging you for sex once a month. Fortunately for you, they are not in short supply.


False, I strongly dislike beta males. I like a take charge kind of alpha dog.

Alphas aren't going to say "hey babe you want to split the check"

:lol. That is passive behavior. And stinginess!! Haha what a joke.

And I happen to also like high sex drives...it's a shame really..


----------



## loneyakuza (Jun 21, 2012)

Twelve Keyz said:


> yes! I agree! Girls, go out there and get yourself a doormat! There's nothing more satisfying :lol


Yeah, calichick,


----------



## Magus (May 19, 2010)

calichick said:


> False, I strongly dislike beta males. I like a take charge kind of alpha dog.
> 
> Alphas aren't going to say "hey babe you want to split the check"
> 
> ...


There's nothing alpha about paying for dinner the first date unless you really hit it off with each other. In fact, most decent women would split the check if there was no chemistry between them.



calichick said:


> :lol. That is passive behavior. And stinginess!! Haha what a joke.


Yup, because paying the full dinner of a stranger who didn't turn out to be as great as you'd thought is being generous.

Obvious gold-digger is obvious.


----------



## loneyakuza (Jun 21, 2012)

calichick said:


> False, I strongly dislike beta males. I like a take charge kind of alpha dog.
> 
> Alphas aren't going to say "hey babe you want to split the check"
> 
> ...


No, alphas say, "Hey babe, my treat this time. You pick up the tab next time and I'll make sure it's worth your while.  " and this is only if the girl has some chemistry with you.

Or alternatively a more douche-bag way of doing it would be, "Fine, I'll pay for the dinners, but you're buying the condoms.''

Otherwise, paying for the dinner every single time or even the first time if there is no chemistry is just letting the girl play you for a fool.

Just curious are you Asian? Usually Asian girls, especially Korean girls, expect guys to pay all the time (from my experience).


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

loneyakuza said:


> You can't be serious. You cannot want equality between the sexes and still expect these things. Once again this argument and type of thinking is what will lead to the downfall of feminism, because you are making it so that everything is balanced (actually not balanced but completely unbalanced) in favor of the woman instead of actually meeting half way. No wonder we have traditionalists and men-going-their-own-way popping up everywhere.


I'm not a feminist....if you were under that impression...I wear makeup and bras and obsess about my appearance and use sexual persuasion to my advantage.
I believe in the pill and I'm extremely traditional.

I'm the anti feminist :teeth


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

loneyakuza said:


> No, alphas say, "Hey babe, my treat this time. You pick up the tab next time and I'll make sure it's worth your while.  "
> 
> Or alternatively a more douche-bag way of doing it would be, "Fine, I'll pay for the dinners, but you're buying the condoms.''
> 
> Just curious are you Asian? Usually Asian girls, especially Korean girls, expect guys to pay all the time (from my experience).


Nope, I'm American. I like American guys.


----------



## Twelve Keyz (Aug 28, 2011)

People must have A LOT of time on their hands to invent such elaborate online personas :teeth


----------



## Earl of Lemongrab (May 15, 2012)

calichick said:


> False, I strongly dislike beta males. I like a take charge kind of alpha dog.
> 
> Alphas aren't going to say "hey babe you want to split the check"
> 
> ...


Okay, I think I am starting to get what she means to an extent.

Of course, she is still generalizing and what she has said certainly does not apply to ALL women. However...

Guys who are desperate to get into an intimate relationship and have no idea why they can't are normally the ones who don't go out of their way to do anything special for women. I knew of this one guy who reposted at least SEVERAL different ads in the personals section on Craigslist almost everyday in the hopes of finding somebody, and this has gone on for _years_ possibly. Now...the fact that he felt he would only have a chance of finding someone through his internet ads should speak for itself, but it gets even worse than that. No girl wants to be with a beta male, but on the other hand most don't want to be with one who's a cheapskate either, and this guy was_ both_. Honestly, nobody in their right mind should be surprised he's basically a living example of the "forever alone" guy. I met him in person, and he admitted that he didn't have much money to spend because he had to start looking for a new job since his contract was about to end. In the ad he posted, he made it sound as though he was financially stable and well-off, yet he refused to even spend $40 on a game that he really wanted. That right there is outright lying, he gave an impression of being a different person from who he really was within the ad, and that will turn off any girl in their right mind immediately.


----------



## loneyakuza (Jun 21, 2012)

calichick said:


> I'm not a feminist....if you were under that impression...I wear makeup and bras and obsess about my appearance and use sexual persuasion to my advantage.
> I believe in the pill and I'm extremely traditional.
> 
> I'm the anti feminist :teeth


Feminists also use makeup and bras and obsess about appearance and use sexual persuasion. Feminists nowadays are often about women having everything and none of the consequences. I hope you are not one of those types.

If you are traditional, then you would have no issue with a man telling you to "stay in the kitchen." You would also not object to the sexual advances of your significant other, because traditionally it is the woman's duty to please her man. If you play by those rules and aren't a hypocrite then I'll shut up. But if you say you are a traditionalist but still take advantage of all the modern day expectations of men/women, then you are being hypocritical.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

loneyakuza said:


> Feminists also use makeup and bras and obsess about appearance and use sexual persuasion. Feminists nowadays are often about women having everything and none of the consequences. I hope you are not one of those types.
> 
> If you are traditional, then you would have no issue with a man telling you to "stay in the kitchen." You would also not object to the sexual advances of your significant other, because traditionally it is the woman's duty to please her man. If you play by those rules and aren't a hypocrite then I'll shut up. But if you say you are a traditionalist but still take advantage of all the modern day expectations of men/women, then you are being hypocritical.


1) I'm turned on by high sex drives.

2) stay home mom? F*** to the YES please.

Happy?


----------



## Earl of Lemongrab (May 15, 2012)

Feminism is to women what the KKK is to white people


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Magus said:


> There's nothing alpha about paying for dinner the first date unless you really hit it off with each other. In fact, most decent women would split the check if there was no chemistry between them.
> 
> Yup, because paying the full dinner of a stranger who didn't turn out to be as great as you'd thought is being generous.
> 
> Obvious gold-digger is obvious.


Again, money is not the only thing I are about.

1) looks
2) personality
3) job/ambitions
4) interests

I've known a few golddiggers, they don't give a sh*t about anything but money.


----------



## loneyakuza (Jun 21, 2012)

calichick said:


> 1) I'm turned on by high sex drives.
> 
> 2) stay home mom? F*** to the YES please.
> 
> Happy?


I think we should date.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

loneyakuza said:


> I think we should date.


See you agree with me after all.

Men will do anything for you if you _give_ a little .

It's not that hard being a woman these days. Sex is a weapon of mass destruction


----------



## loneyakuza (Jun 21, 2012)

calichick said:


> See you agree with me after all.
> 
> Men will do anything for you if you _give_ a little .
> 
> It's not that hard being a woman these days. Sex is a weapon of mass destruction


Babe, you're paying for the condoms, though. Jus sayin.


----------



## Earl of Lemongrab (May 15, 2012)

This thread is awesome.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

loneyakuza said:


> Babe, you're paying for the condoms, though. Jus sayin.


I've been on the pill for 8 years ******, thank you very much.

See I think about male pleasure. I want what's best for him after all :lol


----------



## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

trisquel said:


> This thread is awesome.


This thread has ran its course. Most dating advice on SAS is usually horrible.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

BobtheSaint said:


> This thread has ran its course. Most dating advice on SAS is usually horrible.


That's because 98% of the guys are saying things like "make her split the bill"

Of course it's horrible. We need less male advice


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

jvanb00c said:


> Would you ever date a guy who has a less than desireable job? I mean kind of a gritty dirty job? Or does it not matter as long as he supports himself and could maybe support you one day with this job? I just feel kind of akward about telling women what I do. Maybe I shouldn't though, I know plenty of dead beats who have their women pay for everything and don't have a job.
> 
> And to throw it to everbody, have people ever looked down on you for the job you had or wouldn't give you a chance because of what your job was?


My grandmother married a mortician. "Nuff said.


----------



## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

To the OP your job sounds respectable.... 

Most of my friends and I our requirement is to be employeed, and ideally happy in said employment (really if you hate your job you're probably not that fun to be around). If your business is doing well, and you are happy running it (obviously there is stress you won't be 100% happy all the time I just mean overall if this is still what you WANT to be doing) your ahead of the game. 

I do want someone who can contribute to the household. I'm not asking someone to support me or even make more money than me but IF a partner made less money than me I would need them to be OKAY with it and not hold it against me that i have a good job.


----------



## Twelve Keyz (Aug 28, 2011)

^ lmao, oh God

edit: not you awkward


----------



## Earl of Lemongrab (May 15, 2012)

This thread keeps getting better.


----------



## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

There is nothing "alpha" about paying the bill on a first date. 

As a matter of fact, it somehow makes you spineless.


----------



## PeachyAlice (Feb 8, 2012)

Wow, there are some pathetic chicks out there.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

TPower said:


> There is nothing "alpha" about paying the bill on a first date.
> 
> As a matter of fact, it somehow makes you spineless.


CHARACTERISTICS OF A MODERN ALPHA MALE
1. Be a leader of men
People should look to you as a leader. You lead by example. You set the tone for the night. When there's any doubt about what the next move should be, you're the one who decides. You take women by the hand. You're a social hub. You're the one people look to when they're looking for a fun time. You're assertive but take everyone's feelings into account.
2. Protector of loved ones
If there is one tried and true attribute of the alpha male, it is his ability to take care of the people he loves. The alpha male father could care less if he dies in a struggle as long as his wife and children survive. He puts the value of his life below those he truly cares about. In terms of strength, his body language lets you know that he is not to be messed with regardless of his height or stature. 
3. *Be firm in your values*
You have meditated and thought about your deepest inner values. You are unwavering on these. These can include things as basic as love of life, traveling, studying, religion, or not tolerating condescension or self-defeating behavior. *These are the basic pieces that make up your personality and it is important to know what they are. The average, beta male has trouble describing his personal values to others. *He looks to others to define who he is. This will not be you. YOU will define who you are. Nobody else.
4. Be self-validated
You do not need the validation of others to define your confidence. You can get "in state" from energy generated purely from within. You don't look to others for approval because you KNOW you're an all-star. You're AWESOME and every fiber of your being knows it. You will not be knocked out of state in the field because nothing can harm your ego. You are awesomeness embodied. Settle for nothing less.
5. Be non-reaction seeking & non-reactive
How someone reacts to your behavior is not particularly important to you. You are self-validated and emanate awesomeness. You are positive, understanding and beneficent to others yet do not need this fact acknowledged. People react to YOU. You do not react to THEM. People seek your approval which you dole out as appropriate. You are outcomes-independent.
6. Have social proof and preselection
Everywhere you go, people want to be associated with you. You have many friends. Beautiful women are part of your life. You accept this as a god-given fact. You own every room you're in. You're Bill Clinton. You have an abundance mentality because your life is abundant.
7. *Be a value giver (and not a value taker)*
You do not NEED approval from others. Approval is something a high value individual doles out to others. Receiving approval is taking value. Seeking approval is being a value taker. YOU dole out the approval. YOU are approached by value takers. YOU are a value giver. Every person you encounter in your life is better off for having met you. Whether it's just a wave hello to a stranger, a compliment to your butcher, or a massive party you help organize and invite high value people to, you're enriching the lives of others. *You are benevolent and compassionate. *You look out for and protect the people in your life.

So basically you are implying that the value all males should follow is general stinginess.

False. The alpha male is generous. That is truly virtuous.

1. An Alpha male is very comfortable with himself. He always radiates confidence. He does not fear anyone, he does not really care how people think of him. Confidence is him. He knows he is more important than anyone else in his life.
2.Is very passionate in life. He knows what he loves to do and follows his dreams.* A true Alpha male has goals and ambitions, and really high ones. He follows these to the ultimate end, and ends up living a fulfilled life.* (And women love passionate men with ambition. They see these kind of men becoming very successful in life and in their subconcious minds this is a qualifying factor in choosing a mate that will be able to provide for their future kids.)
3. Failure is only a minor setback for a real Alpha Male. Its only part of the process, he is learning. He is moving. He will always bounce back from failure, learn from the experience and move ahead with life. Nothing holds him back, after all, he is the Alpha male. Nothing can put him down. This is how he overcomes the challenges in his life.
4. He is always composed. An alpha male never loses composure, he is always himself, thoughtful and calculated. He won't be carried away in emotional spasms.
5. Driven. A real Alpha male is very self- driven and self disciplined. Once he decides his target, all his attention will be at achieving his goal. He will do everything persistently to achieve what he wants. This is also why Alpha males drive women crazy, they are men of their own, they don't need to be told what they should do. Women prefer men who make the decisions.
6. *High morals and values*. *A true Alpha male is not what we will call a 'loose' man. He has high moral principles. He is not abusive or arrogant and does not look down upon others. *Many people confuse Alpha males and Bullies. But generally, while bullies are very agressive on the outside, alpha males are very calm, calculated and controlled people.
7. An Alpha male is a natural leader. He is always looked up upon to provide direction when needed.
8. An Alpha male is a Problem Solver. In a company or organization, he will always be put in a challenging position and because of this, he will be highly regarded and compensated. He will always be the best at what he does.
9. Dress- Code- Smart. Not that he really cares what anyone thinks of how he dresses; that is not very important to him. But he still dresses the best way possible, always. Its just part of his nature, after all, he wants the best in life! He doesn't have to but he knows he should.
10. He believes in growth. He knows that change is an internal process and takes time. He does not blame anyone for his mistakes because he knows that he has the power to make his life better and become a better man. Life for him is all about constant growth. This is the real essence of a man living a life of purpose. Every successful man in history knew this. That life is learning process. It is only an arrogant person who thinks they know it all. Humble yourself and learn!
11. With women he always poses a challenge. No, he is not chosen by women, he CHOOSES them! He does not throw himself at women and start acting needy with women. For him its the other way round. They really have to impress him and earn his attention.
12. A True Alpha male is not bossy. Not at all. He likes to listen to others' opinions. If he is in a position of leadership he will let everyone share their thoughts and collectively find the solution. That's why his co- workers love him! His team always wins.
13. He is not afraid to face his faults or admit when he is wrong. For a real Alpha male, there is nothing wrong with admitting when he has done something wrong. Its all about moving on with life, finding a solution, moving forward. If he wronged someone, he will politely admit and apologise, without making a big deal out of it, then move on to the next best thing.
14. He does not have to prove himself. An alpha male is being of very high self esteem, he does not need anyone's approval to make him feel better about himself.
15. Alpha males are very clever, smart and cunning people. He's got a real keen mind. He will assess situations and find the best logical solutions. In business alpha males do very well, their analytical skill and keen mind goes a long way.
16. Dominant, not aggressive, Alpha males also posess superior social skills.
17. Social behaviour - Hang out mostly with other alpha males. A true Alpha male finds the most value in hanging out with others like him. He also finds growth in doing this by learning from others who are better than him at one thing or another. That is why he never fails in life, he surrounds himself with people who are either like him or better achieved than him. Those are his company.
18. Physically fit. Alpha males are into healthy living and proper eating. They workout regularly, this also helps them become more focused on their goals and ambitions. This is why most Alpha's are well built and all masculine.
19. Optimistic. Alpha males will always see the positive side of things and make the best out of what they have. A true Alpha male knows that in every problem there lies therein an opportunity. They just have to find it.

Body Language
20. Alpha males talk slowly. They never rush things, they are always in control. They have a way of having there audience eat at their every word. They know they are important and when they talk they command this importance.
21. They walk slowly, not not lazily. There is a difference. Alpha males are very controlled people. They are not always in a rush like everyone else. An Alpha male will be very disciplined to be on time or earlier for a meeting and well prepared. He will therefor have enough time to observe and think through his strategy.
22. Really Good Communicators. The alpha male is a great communicator both verbal and non-verbal. He shows his feelings through positive body language and is not afraid to show his sexual side. Women love this too - Men who are not wussies at flirting and showing their sexuality. It is not about telling a woman that you love her. Its about Expressing it in body Language and letting her read it with her subconscious mind.
23. Witty. Alpha males have a high sense of humor, they always live on the fun side of life. Its never always too serious fo them.

Ok pretty much my perfect man above.


----------



## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

A true man doesn't pay for women because society tells them to. They pay for the woman once SHE proved she is worth the attention.

Paying systematically because the person you are going out with has a vagina is truly pathetic.

My ex, I never paid her anything, she sucked my **** on our second date. 

My current girlfriend, spread her legs on our 4th date without me ever paying her anything (at that point).

See?

Only beta males are desperate and naive enough to throw their money out the window, while expecting to get some.


----------



## Iota (Mar 24, 2010)

OP's job is awesome. :clap

Other comments on this thread = not so awesome. :roll

As a woman, I strongly suggest men should consider paying (or offering to pay) for the first date with a woman, not because it SHOULD be that way (it shouldn't) but because it'll let the woman know that you think she is worth something to you. (The woman will offer to split or pay for herself if she does not care.) But some women care and they have friends and they will care. They will talk. And they will be turned off by a man that is afraid to put down a little bit of $$ for a chance of a a future relationship. It really has less to do with the money and more to do with the suggestion that you consider money > relationship.

I've always been OK with paying but the men that insisted otherwise were always of higher quality and ethic. So at least offer. That's just my experience.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

TPower said:


> See?


Yes, I see that you have a lot of experience with beta females lmao.

Beta and beta usually stick together.

I come from a breed of alpha females. I tend to stick with my kind.

Any girl knows that letting a guy cop a feel anywhere close to the first date= desperation.

Not worth it..

But yea, that's a different topic.


----------



## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

My future lady friend is going to be in for a rude surprise if she expect my income to pay for everything and for me to pretty much act like her personal nanny in society.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I'd say on 90-95% of the first dates I went on the guy paid. In relationships it was more equal but still the guy paid for the majority of the dinners out and drinks. Men paid for love hotels (in Japan and Brazil) 100% of the time.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

calichick said:


> That's because 98% of the guys are saying things like "make her split the bill"
> 
> Of course it's horrible. We need less male advice


The best people from whom to take advice are men who have success with women. Definitely not from women themselves.


----------



## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

Brilliant. In this thread :

1. Listen to cali on how to get women (which im pretty sure will work, so props to you for some at least decent advice) but at the same time maintain stereotypes and outdates morals. (e.g. that sex and money rule everything, and that women are indeed trophies to be won/bought whereas males are the DEFENDING DESTROYING LORDS OF THE UNIVERRRRRSEEEE(that was my angry bruce banner impression)

2. Listen to guys who claim its ludacris.

3. Ignore the above and just read the first 2/3 pages of on topic good conversation !

4. Waste more time reading this post.

Things like this are so funny to me lol


----------



## Winds (Apr 17, 2011)

There is nothing wrong with a man paying for some dates. The problem is guys need to stop taking women out on expensive dates to begin with, when they just met the girl :no

1st Date: Take her to Baskin Robbins and a walk and talk in the park. 
2nd Date: FREE summer concert event and you both bring picnic sandwiches and chips from home. 
3rd Date: Invite her to a cookout or some get together at a friends house. if N/A Netflix date. 
4th Date: Take her bowling during the weekday when the games are usually cheaper. 

Now if she ordered off the value menu at Baskins then guess what, you just went on 4 solid dates and didn't spend more then 30 to 35 dollars. Save the dinner dates at the nice spot in town for later. If a woman has a problem with you being fiscally responsible while trying to genuinely get to know who she is as a person, I don't I need to tell you who you just met


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Durzo said:


> e.g. that sex and money rule everything


In your opinion, what does the world revolve around?

How is this outdated?



EastWinds said:


> There is nothing wrong with a man paying for some dates. The problem is guys need to stop taking women out on expensive dates to begin with, when they just met the girl :no
> 
> 1st Date: Take her to Baskin Robbins and a walk and talk in the park.
> 2nd Date: FREE summer concert event and you both bring picnic sandwiches and chips from home.
> ...


That's what I said about 4 pages ago


----------



## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

I love how some women act as if being in their company was some sort of paid privilege.

Plenty of women will put up with men who don't pay THEIR way through life. We don't need you. I'm not worrying, thought. There are also plenty of men willing to act like the doormat.


----------



## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

calichick said:


> In your opinion, what does the world revolve around?
> 
> How is this outdated?


It isn't outdated in an economy perspective, even though it is ridiculous. The hype the media provide around sex/money is just honestly disgusting. People are ****ing idiots. The importance of money is obviously much more important out of the two as its difficult to live without any at all... But tbh the world revolves around power, money is not the power itself, but a way to obtain power and enforce what they want. Seeing as sex and this so called "currency" can be exploited so easily by people in power, it isn't surprising they push it so hard down on us poor folk.

But in relationships it should not revolve around money, and sure sex is important to most but it definitely should never be thought of as something you have to gain an "upperhand" in the relationship or to control someone in a relationship.

A relationship should be based on trust and companionship... Relationships are the one thing that should never be tainted by the people who control the world. Yet people let it. Just pisses me off


----------



## Winds (Apr 17, 2011)

calichick said:


> That's what I said about 4 pages ago


No you didn't cali, don't even try to backtrack and lie to the public like that :lol It doesn't matter though, I would let you order any one item of your choice on that 5 dollars of less value menu :wink



TPower said:


> I love how some women act as if being in their company was some sort of paid privilege.


:rofl who wouldn't want to be in the warm august presence of a woman like that.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

EastWinds said:


> No you didn't cali, don't even try to backtrack and lie to the public like that :lol It doesn't matter though, I would let you order any one item of your choice on that 5 dollars of less value menu :wink


*Yes, I did* BABE. Durzo quoted me back 4 pages.



calichick said:


> I'm going to give you some info about women, we don't take anything for _face value_. We interpret every action as having a deeper meaning.
> 
> For example, requesting that after the date you split the bill with her is indicative of the fact that either 1) you're cheap which makes us question whether you are consistently like that, 2) you're not really that into her because a guy who really cared would do anything for her, 3) you have poor mannerisms which implies your values are different.
> 
> *In most situations, it's RARELY about the actual money being spent. It could be a $3 ice cream or a $40 steak **(which men should keep in mind when selecting the date spot if they don't want to break the bank LOL), *it's about making an effort to show her that you like her.


Damn I give pretty good advice if I do say so myself. I'm always the first at the punch!



Durzo said:


> But in relationships it *should* not revolve around money, and sure sex is important to most but it definitely *should *never be thought of as something you have to gain an "upperhand" in the relationship or to control someone in a relationship.
> 
> A relationship *should* be based on trust and companionship... Relationships are the one thing that *should* never be tainted by the people who control the world. Yet people let it. Just pisses me off


The problem with your reasoning is that you're incorporating a lot of idealism. Should be like this, shouldn't be like that. In the real world, 70% of marriages that end in divorce are due to financial problems.

This is why I am so keen on money =p


----------



## Winds (Apr 17, 2011)

calichick said:


> *Yes, I did* BABE. Durzo quoted me back 4 pages.
> 
> Damn I give pretty good advice if I do say so myself. I'm always the first at the punch!


----------



## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

@cali

I haven't heard that statistic before... but if it is true that is deeply dissapointing. Although honestly I have my own theory on why so many relationships fail (not meaning just marriage.) I understand your thinking now after reading all your posts, and I know it isn't all about the money in a partner for you cali. But I still disagree with the paying for dinner thing haha.

I dont think asking for what I would expect in a relationship is too much, and if there is honest love between the two and both people know how to love correctly, it shouldn't break down. Especially not because of financial reasons. 

People in general just don't deserve each other or nice things tbh a lot of the time. I am unsure if I do, as I can be just as bad. 

**** it,the world would be better if people didn't bother with relationships


----------



## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

millenniumman75 said:


> My grandmother married a mortician. "Nuff said.


I wanna marry the rich old mortician in this town. haha.


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Shauna The Dead said:


> I wanna marry the rich old mortician in this town. haha.


:lol - morticians are people, too.


----------

