# I'm so awkward and have no friends



## Monica Rose (Aug 10, 2013)

I just hate myself so much, and I'm so frustrated with my social anxiety. I've spent my entire teenage years nearly friendless because I get so nervous around people. Mostly this anxiety comes from me being afraid of saying/doing something stupid around people, and of being judged. I feel so hopeless because I need to get a job soon as my family has fallen on hard financial times but I'm too scared to be around people. How am I supposed to work for and around people if I constantly obsess about everything I'm saying? I see many other teens that I know that are so outgoing and already have jobs, and I feel like a complete loser. I'm so hard on myself all of the time about everything and it's just so mentally draining. There are many times when I feel that I should never have been born, because I'm so socially awkward. It doesn't help that I was homeschooled and people automatically blame my awkwardness on that rather than the fact that my low self-esteem is the true cause. I'm in so much emotional pain right now and I don't know what to do anymore.

I guess I'm just doomed to be forever alone.
~Monica


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## SilenceInTheNight (Aug 10, 2013)

It's okay, don't beat yourself up. I don't have friends either, and I kinda don't want to get a job because I'll have to deal with people. I'm so awkward and nervous all the time... But let's do it together! Just hang in, try to let go a bit, whatever you're thinking of saying, say it! Let them judge you, but at least you're being yourself. I'm here if you need me  Make the best out of these small moments, I wish I could.


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## Chatise19 (Dec 31, 2011)

Idk what to say. Do you want advice? Im in the same place lol. The only advice I have is you shouldn't hate yourself...thats hard to live with. And support? You can pm me anytime about your troubles bc I guarantee I can relate. Tough love? If you don't eventually get your shet together you'll be a cat lady. But you already know that, dont you?


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## Monica Rose (Aug 10, 2013)

Thank you so much for your advice and support, SilenceInTheNight. It really means a lot. I've been feeling very alone for quite some time now and it helps to hear from someone who's going through what I am. I wish you the best, and take care.


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## Monica Rose (Aug 10, 2013)

to Chatise19: I'm really trying not to hate myself but it's very difficult to change when you've become so used to it.  And yes, I know I have to get my **** together, in fact, I worry about doing so all the time, because I know what'll happen if I don't. Thanks for your support, I really appreciate it.


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## flip5071 (Apr 18, 2010)

I really wish I could give you some advice but im in the same boat:cry


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## inerameia (Jan 26, 2012)

Hey I'm sorry to hear about that. : / Sounds like you're having a tough time. I can definitely relate to overthinking what I say and judging myself harshly. I think mindfulness is beneficial for both aspects and cbt as well... like just be in the present moment. No worries. It's all just in your head. Be more spontaneous. And even if someone doesn't like what you say- who cares? Now to actually put it in practice is the tough part :/


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## ev29 (Feb 12, 2013)

Monica Rose said:


> I just hate myself so much, and I'm so frustrated with my social anxiety. I've spent my entire teenage years nearly friendless because I get so nervous around people. Mostly this anxiety comes from me being afraid of saying/doing something stupid around people, and of being judged. I feel so hopeless because I need to get a job soon as my family has fallen on hard financial times but I'm too scared to be around people. How am I supposed to work for and around people if I constantly obsess about everything I'm saying? I see many other teens that I know that are so outgoing and already have jobs, and I feel like a complete loser. I'm so hard on myself all of the time about everything and it's just so mentally draining. There are many times when I feel that I should never have been born, because I'm so socially awkward. It doesn't help that I was homeschooled and people automatically blame my awkwardness on that rather than the fact that my low self-esteem is the true cause. I'm in so much emotional pain right now and I don't know what to do anymore.
> 
> I guess I'm just doomed to be forever alone.
> ~Monica


I know exactly how you feel. I was like this about a year ago, and still am now in a lot of ways. But I've learned to like myself a lot more and I'm gaining confidence.

I really feel like that is the solution - to feel confident in yourself and not be intimidated by others. And you can only really do that through experience. Trust me, you will get through this :hug


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## littlemissbashful (Jul 29, 2013)

I am the exact same way meeting people is so hard for me. I have to wait for people to come up to me like they are going to come out of the sky or something :afr The best thing you can do is be your own best friend that is what I do.


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## tilo brown eyes (Jun 7, 2013)

Monica Rose said:


> I just hate myself so much, and I'm so frustrated with my social anxiety. I've spent my entire teenage years nearly friendless because I get so nervous around people. Mostly this anxiety comes from me being afraid of saying/doing something stupid around people, and of being judged. I feel so hopeless because I need to get a job soon as my family has fallen on hard financial times but I'm too scared to be around people. How am I supposed to work for and around people if I constantly obsess about everything I'm saying? I see many other teens that I know that are so outgoing and already have jobs, and I feel like a complete loser. I'm so hard on myself all of the time about everything and it's just so mentally draining. There are many times when I feel that I should never have been born, because I'm so socially awkward. It doesn't help that I was homeschooled and people automatically blame my awkwardness on that rather than the fact that my low self-esteem is the true cause. I'm in so much emotional pain right now and I don't know what to do anymore.
> 
> I guess I'm just doomed to be forever alone.
> ~Monica


I could say that I know how to triumph over this, but then I'd be lying. I'm in the exact same boat.
Socially anxious, I have people threatening me the other day and I could barely breathe a word. I can comunicate effortlessly, even somewhat comically through writing, texting etc. But if I don't know you for I dunno for a good ten years then I can't speak about my personal self to you. All the friends I've ever had are just backstabbers and users, I'm friendless right now, but I'm enjoying it (I know that sounds weird) but it good to be without the baggage.
Financially, I'm dying, I should set up a charity for myself.
I wasn't homeschooled, but I was bullied on a largescale and people used to tell me it was my fault.

So try not to worry about what people think about you too much, what really matters is what you think about yourself. And don't forget that there are normal people out there who are going through the same or near enough situation like yours and all you have to do is ask for help, it'll always be there if you want it.


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## Kalliber (Aug 18, 2012)

I feel you... but I tried to make friends here and met some cool peeps, but this guy i talk on skype is my homie.. although far we consider each other friends


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