# I like a love shy guy



## allisonroad42 (Sep 28, 2013)

For quite awhile now, there has been this guy showing quite a bit of interest in me (blushing when he sees me, stares at me, jumped out of his office when I was there to see someone else, doesn't talk to me, etc.) I finally went up to him and talked to him and that went ok. I have him a compliment and he blushed and walked.off. Finally, I asked him out for coffee via email. He said yes and we met and talked for about an hour. The conversation went well.and at the end we walked.outside and he just said take care and that was it. I emailed him later to let him know that I liked him and sensed a mutual interest. During the visit, he was looking at me like he was in love, seriously! Anyway, he wrote back and said that he was captivated by someone else and the relationship was going slow but headed in the right direction and he was amazed at my boldness. He said people never tell him they are interested in him! What do you guys think? I haven't seen or heard from him in 6 weeks. I don't plan on ever contacting him. I may see him at church but I certainly won't approach him. IDK.....


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)




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## allisonroad42 (Sep 28, 2013)

Any other responses, questions, comments?


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## Nono441 (May 14, 2012)

What is there to say? He is already in a relationship with someone else and letting you know.

What is your question?


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## Ramondo (Feb 16, 2011)

Maybe what he said was true, and you were reading him the wrong way all along. He hasn't contacted you in six weeks despite knowing how you feel. If you were reading him the right way, he's so terrified of you that you are going to have to do *all *the work. Good luck.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Love shy guys don't date. I think you just have a shy guy.

Look up the term. Love shyness is something that makes guys never have a relationship, period.


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## JohnDoe26 (Jun 6, 2012)

Approach him. At least let it lead to friendship. He's a shy guy, so chances are he was waiting for your call this entire six weeks lol. By not talking to him you'll probably kill him inside. Please, just continue to be nice and amiable. 

- a shy guy myself.


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## bottleofblues (Aug 6, 2008)

Just looked it up thought maybe it was just a term you made up but there is a wikipedia page on it, that describes me perfectly, just one more mental health label to tag onto myself. If i got a medal for every mental disorder that is officially listed out there i have i'd have a jacket that looks like it belongs to a four star general.


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## allisonroad42 (Sep 28, 2013)

My question is, what do I do? Ignore and avoid him? Try to talk to him again? I really like him. Its hard to juat totally avoid him forever.


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## allisonroad42 (Sep 28, 2013)

JohnDoe26 said:


> Approach him. At least let it lead to friendship. He's a shy guy, so chances are he was waiting for your call this entire six weeks lol. By not talking to him you'll probably kill him inside. Please, just continue to be nice and amiable.
> 
> - a shy guy myself.


Waiting for my phone call? Really? Then why did he say he was captivated with someone else? I thought he said that because he really is or because he wants me to stop liking/contacting him because I scared him with my boldness.


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## Thatguy55 (May 23, 2013)

Just because he might be interested in someone else, it doesn't mean you can't be his friend. Keep in touch with him, see where it goes.


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## allisonroad42 (Sep 28, 2013)

ok, well we are back to the same kind of behavior. Showing up where I'm at, starring a lot, not approaching me, etc. I haven't approached him yet. I guess I will. I know he dated one girl that I know of but that was because he was set up by mutual friends with her, he never had to approach her. He broke it off after a few months, citing it just wasn't a match. He is 48 and has never been married and hasn't dated much. IDK... I'm not willing to do all of the work. I have asked him out and even told him I was interested and all I'm getting is starring and coming to where I am to hang out but far away but close enough to watch me. lol. I guess this is going to go nowhere! I am really disappointed because I sure find him attractive and nice. Oh well... Any tips would be appreciated but I understand if no one has any!


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

I am no expert in this kind of things and I would have to know the guy which I dont. So if he likes you I can only assume he is feeling overwhelmed by you, very nervous and it is mentally wrecking for him to spend a lot of time around you especially if it's something ''official'' like a date. In that case maybe you should enter his life in a more subtle and gradual way. Don't be the rabbit but the turtle. Find mutual hobbies or friends so you can be more around him without being too pushy. By keep being exposed to you his assumed anxiety should gradually decrease. That way you will be able to read him better, maybe find more about him from his close ones. He may need a lot of time to feel comfortable around you, be able to relax, open up to you and really feel connected to you.
If he is not really into you, then he is just puzzled by your interest in him and the fact you are so straightforward. Which makes you interesting but not in a romantic way. He may just love the idea someone would think of him in that way. Especially if he always had a low self esteem and very little confidence.
It is up to you if you are willing to put a decent amount of efort and time into this. Most likely it will be you the one that would have to try and slowly conquer him. Are you ok to be the one leading? Or it will be frustrating for you after a while? If you think this is not worth it then just try to let go.


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## MuckyMuck (Oct 15, 2013)

Stalk him.


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## Kalliber (Aug 18, 2012)

MuckyMuck said:


> Stalk him.


O my..


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## NomadicWonder (Nov 15, 2013)

If he is so shy that he lies to your face about being in a relationship when he is not...then that is just freaking weird.


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## allisonroad42 (Sep 28, 2013)

NomadicWonder said:


> If he is so shy that he lies to your face about being in a relationship when he is not...then that is just freaking weird.


Yeah, u r definately right about that one. That is why I am just going to say hi when I see him and thats it. But that is proving harder to do than I thought. His staring makes me nervous and then I don't go up to him or wave him over. Its like paralyzing to me. Very odd situation! I guess it won't go anywhere because I'm just not willing to do all of the work.


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## RecoveredWell (Jun 10, 2013)

Aww love these type of stories..


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## Bluestar29 (Oct 26, 2013)

MuckyMuck said:


> Stalk him.


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## The Sleeping Dragon (Sep 29, 2011)

DeeperUnderstanding said:


> Love shy guys don't date. I think you just have a shy guy.
> 
> Look up the term. Love shyness is something that makes guys never have a relationship, period.


Wish it wasn't true. But he's right.

I find it odd he would lie like that though. Even I know that women hate being lied to. It's a deal breaker. I can't see why he would lie. Unless he is a lost cause that is that is truely petrified at the thought of being in a real relationship.

Meh.


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## Adam Harris (Jan 29, 2011)

Wow....theres labels for everything isnt there....sad...


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## allisonroad42 (Sep 28, 2013)

Well, everyone, my love shy guy came to where I was today and actually talked to me and asked me what school I am at now (I'm a substitute teacher.) Wow, I'm soooo incredibly impressed! I really really like this guy!!! :boogieI know that was very difficult for him and I could sense and hear his nervousness in his voice! He is sooo incredibly cute!! I think we may be getting somewhere now!!! Yay!!!!! I'm going to a Christmas party next week where he will be. Lets see if the conversation continues....


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## Lincolnradiocat (Dec 10, 2005)

allisonroad42 said:


> Well, everyone, my love shy guy came to where I was today and actually talked to me and asked me what school I am at now (I'm a substitute teacher.) Wow, I'm soooo incredibly impressed! I really really like this guy!!! :boogieI know that was very difficult for him and I could sense and hear his nervousness in his voice! He is sooo incredibly cute!! I think we may be getting somewhere now!!! Yay!!!!! I'm going to a Christmas party next week where he will be. Lets see if the conversation continues....


So what would he have to do or say to signal to you he is interested?


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## allisonroad42 (Sep 28, 2013)

Lincolnradiocat said:


> So what would he have to do or say to signal to you he is interested?


 He came to where I was and actually talked to me! That is HUGE for him!! He has been hiding out since I told him in August that I was interested in him. He is slowly coming out of his shell! This is a good thing! I think what he did yesterday was a sign of interest! :boogie


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## allisonroad42 (Sep 28, 2013)

allisonroad42 said:


> Well, everyone, my love shy guy came to where I was today and actually talked to me and asked me what school I am at now (I'm a substitute teacher.) Wow, I'm soooo incredibly impressed! I really really like this guy!!! :boogieI know that was very difficult for him and I could sense and hear his nervousness in his voice! He is sooo incredibly cute!! I think we may be getting somewhere now!!! Yay!!!!! I'm going to a Christmas party next week where he will be. Lets see if the conversation continues....


Well, everyone my love shy guy has continued to act likes me so I emailed and asked if he would liketo meet up at church, meet for coffee, etc. He said yes. We met at church and talked and then we were supposed to meet for coffee but he cancelled. Here is whagsreally weird. About 2 weeks after he cancelled, I saw him at church and he came up and gave me a big hug (I was impressed) we talked for a minute. Then he left and came back with a lady that may be his girlfriend? I don't think.so but I don't know. So justmkre of the same wekrd behavior. I've decided to avoid the church service he goes to for awhile. Its just waaaay too awkward right now


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## londonguy202 (Jan 10, 2014)

allisonroad42 said:


> Well, everyone my love shy guy has continued to act likes me so I emailed and asked if he would liketo meet up at church, meet for coffee, etc. He said yes. We met at church and talked and then we were supposed to meet for coffee but he cancelled. Here is whagsreally weird. About 2 weeks after he cancelled, I saw him at church and he came up and gave me a big hug (I was impressed) we talked for a minute. Then he left and came back with a lady that may be his girlfriend? I don't think.so but I don't know. So justmkre of the same wekrd behavior. I've decided to avoid the church service he goes to for awhile. Its just waaaay too awkward right now


Him canceling on you for a coffee is just not right. If I was him, I would go for a coffee with you anyway. Hope all go well with him. He appears to be a good guy


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

DeeperUnderstanding said:


> Love shy guys don't date. I think you just have a shy guy.
> 
> Look up the term. Love shyness is something that makes guys never have a relationship, period.


Many of them go out on dates.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

Adam Harris said:


> Wow....theres labels for everything isnt there....sad...


Unfortunately there is. We try to label human behavour much like we label components of things we make. We as humans just aren't secure enough with ourselves to pass off a label as nothing more than a concept and a way to describe someone.


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## allisonroad42 (Sep 28, 2013)

I'm just sooo done with the whole thing. I'm starting to date other ppl and I'm going to avoid him for awhile,. I talked to a good mutual friend of ours that said he did this to her friend a few years ago. She asked him out, they dated for a few months and then he abruptly broke it off. Really hurt her.


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## allisonroad42 (Sep 28, 2013)

He is a good guy! He is on staff at church and is a very giving, compassionate person, deals with a lot of homeless and forgotten ppl in our community. I'm flattered that he appears to like me so much but when I try to connect with him, he runs away.


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## allisonroad42 (Sep 28, 2013)

The saga continues. He showed up at church holding hands with the girl that I guess he is with. The next week I saw him, he was by himself and acting shy again! Then every time I have seen him since he has been alone. Last time I saw him, he saw me parking my car, went inside to where I was going, starred at me for quite awhile and then never talked again. I know I said this before but I'm really serious this time. I am avoiding that church service like the plague now. Its soooo obvious that he is playing games and I'm soooo sick of this. Anywoo....


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## Decrypt (Jan 29, 2012)

He is just as anxious as some of us are. He doesn't want to play games, but he is afraid of f***ing it all up. From what I imagined, he must have avoidant personality disorder. Unfortunately for him he seems to be accidentally doing the thing he fears. I know, I've been there in the past with a girl that liked me, then lost interest in exchange of a more confident male because of my past anxiety.

He needs to know it's ok to talk to people he likes.


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## hickool (Jun 19, 2009)

If I were you I would leave him alone. He likes someone else.


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## Dl61005 (Mar 22, 2014)

I'm a love shy girl and I've found myself throwing up a smoke screen to keep someone I like at bay despite really wanting to connect with them. If this guy's behaviour seems inconsistent or like he's playing games it could be that the anxiety just isn't easing off for him and it just returns every time he sees you.

I feel for you both x


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