# I hate church



## SchizoLoner

With my parents, it does not matter if you are 28 years old--you go to church. It is the sort of thing no matter how old you are, you have to abide by our rules because you live here. It's not that they're holding a gun to my head, but I get looked down upon when I do not go... like I hate my family or something. Then my mum seems to think I'm up to no good and have demons inside of me when I refuse to go...because I'm an atheist. :um
Out of all the churches, this does seem to be the better of ones. Worship is only 30 min. instead of two hours because the pastor was smoking weed and looking at the sky all weekend, coming up to the podium with a bull crap message for 5 min. and almost forgetting communion. No. This new place is less of an embarrassment for the Christian community. 
I still don't like the music, but atleast it's four times shorter. Besides that, there are a few more things: They are way too happy when I'm moody and brooding and they are always in my business: "Hey, how's the unemployment?" "You're in your 20's. Maybe you can lead youth group." "Let me introduce you to the drummer...":sus

Church makes me more anxiety prone and I've gotten to the point that I am not bothering to fake a smile. Do any of ya'll share this experience?


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## Pul5ar

I used to hate church too, I stopped going with my parents when I was 18. I remember saying that I wasn't going to go anymore, it made my mum cry but she got over it. I'm lucky in that my parents are not the kind of people to kick me out for not going to church. If you think your parents might do that, then keep going. Like you said it's only 30mins and it's not worth homelessness just so you don't have to endure church every sunday. Pain in the arse isn't it?


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## Noca

Pretty much, if you are too mentally or physically ill to be independent on your own, and you have to live with your parents still, having to put up with their religion just adds to the misery that is life.

When I was young, I would just pretend to drive to church myself after my parents left. Even if it meant moving the car out of the driveway onto the road and back into the driveway again to make it appear as if I had left. Anything to get out of going to that painfully boring place called church.

All forcing religion down your child's throat does is create resentment and make them hate your guts after enough time has passed.


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## SchizoLoner

Yeah, when I was younger, we went to Catholic Church on special occasions with my grandmother and her sons. Her father was a preacher and she pretends that she knows everything in the Bible when she never reads it. At any rate, I too would get nervous about finding my seat, hating how people were looking at the back of my head. Greeting one another would push me to the brink of having a heart attack, plus I hate shaking hands.
It is basically like a fashion show; pretend to me nice and swear at people the other 6 days of the week. 
Besides the drummer guy that I mentioned, a man walks up to me today at greeting time and says that his son plays base and that I should join the youth group. Okay, this is the 50th time someone has asked me this. I would not consider someone 20+ to be a youth. Maybe that's just me. I could maybe look young, but then again, I don't always get carded for my mojitos.


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## KingJeremyTheWicked

SchizoLoner said:


> With my parents, it does not matter if you are 21 years old--you go to church. It is the sort of thing no matter how old you are, you have to abide by our rules because you live here. It's not that they're holding a gun to my head, but I get looked down upon when I do not go... like I hate my family or something. Then my mum seems to think I'm up to no good and have demons inside of me when I refuse to go.:um
> Out of all the churches, this does seem to be the better of ones. Worship is only 30 min. instead of two hours because the pastor was smoking weed and looking at the sky all weekend, coming up to the podium with a bull crap message for 5 min. and almost forgetting communion. No. This new place is less of an embarrassment for the Christian community.
> I still don't like the music, but atleast it's four times shorter. Besides that, there are a few more things: They are way too happy when I'm moody and brooding *and they are always in my business: "Hey, how's the unemployment?" "You're in your 20's. Maybe you can lead youth group." "Let me introduce you to the drummer...":sus*
> 
> Church makes me more anxiety prone and I've gotten to the point that I am not bothering to fake a smile. Do any of ya'll share this experience?


 lol Yeah, that's really annoying. :teeth


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## Raphael200

Just tell ur parents U don't want to go anymore,simple as that,I did that with mine : ).


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## blue2

I don't go to church, not because I hate it, but because I tend to be really uncomfortable and I've had basically what you would call panic attacks in that situation before though I've never been properly diagnosed ,i get like that sometimes in large groups off people, especially if they are all quiet ( praying etc) i'm ok in large groups off people if they are noisy,cause I feel the noise is a distraction......I must add even if someone didn't believe in god, if everyone went to church and talked to one another,at least once a week, I think it's really beneficial to communitie's, now it's all tv computers( multiple distractions etc),communitie's don't really pull together anymore, everyone's not involved..


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## Tokztero

I don't like going to church anymore. Cause when i go to mass everyone looks at me like i'm the devil incarnated.


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## Pizza

I don't go to church anymore, but when I did, I had a hard time talking to people. The church was quite packed. The people were friendly, but the whole environment for me was unsettling


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## dair

I stopped going to church after I got confirmed. I just said I didn't want to go and when they asked I refused nicely. I have a friend that is guilt tripped into going to church though. I tell her she shouldn't let her parents do that to her, but I can understand it's hard.


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## CheezusCrust

I was a Christian throughout my childhood and into early adulthood, but I didn't like going to church. My family also forced us to go -- if someone didn't want to, they'd be dragged along, spanked, threatened, etc even if in high school. Even Lutheran confirmation which was supposed to be a choice, wasn't. My sibling didn't want to be confirmed, and they still made her. They did loosen up a bit after I was 18, but it was still expected that I would go for me to be a good person in their eyes and be loved by them. I didn't go every Sunday at that point, but went frequently for a few years. (Church always bored me, I never felt comfortable there, and thought it was pointless going to a place of worship for an omniscient God but I think I went to retain a relationship with my family since they thought so badly of people who didn't go). I later moved to another city and completely stopped going. That seemed to help even when I came back. I was bothered by my mother when I came back for awhile -- she initially blamed some of my health problems on turning my back on the church) but she eventually stopped bothering me about going. And I actually admitted that I was an atheist a year ago which was frightening since they believe in many supernatural things and have always treated non-Christians worse, but it worked out a bit better than I expected. It's hard to believe that we came this far from someone who was often trying to convince me to be a pastor or help with the youth group.

I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this bull****. I don't blame you for not putting on a smile and you shouldn't have to. It doesn't matter whether you believe it or not. Just the fact that it makes you anxious should be a reason that you don't need to go, but I know it can be incredibly hard to reason with people who believe in demons and think that not going to church makes you a bad person. I recommend that you slowly build a case and try to point out people in the world who've done great things that they might respect who aren't Christians.


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## ingenious53

Ignore your mom. Everyone has things they look for in a church. Think about the ideal church you would like to go to and look for one that fits your criteria. Your an adult now you dont have to go to the same church as your parents.


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## ingenious53

Tokztero said:


> I don't like going to church anymore. Cause when i go to mass everyone looks at me like i'm the devil incarnate
> 
> Look for a church that actually respects you. Don't let one church ruin your relationship with God and all the benefits he has to offer.


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## visualkeirockstar

i hated church too. it just makes me depress.


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## artsavesmysoul

I hate church too,even though I stopped going a long time ago and told my mom I don't believe in god or anything she disregards everything I say still and continues on saying things like how ''I need god in my life'' -__-''


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## twitchy666

*Important Thread*

Everyone follows the family

I rejected religion and opted out at age 4.
My parents never told me what to do and set me free. They turned a blind eye to me.

Thing is: maybe the reason why I turned my back on church, people and religion is why I've been unemployed for three years and it won't change. 
All the behaviour I decided on in life formed a reminder that if I deserted religion there might be long term suffering. There's a defined word for that I can't come up with yet. I think is starts with 'C' or 'A' Absolom?

I was picked to take stage at my first Christmas at school. I was chosen to read something out, sing a song by myself, and performed a shepherd role around a crib with wise men.

My tendency to ignore people might have caused the deepest resent

In the last decade+, 100% alone, I sometimes go to a long walk and consider entering a church if I see one, when it's empty, in any extreme weather. I wander about, up the stairway to the top of the building, and snoop around everywhere.

I decided not to attend a friend's wedding
Before that, I attended ridiculous numbers of weddings, after age 4. 
Now I remember big gatherings of Mum's family weddings where only me & Dad felt out of place and we culdn't speak to each other

Lots of weddings of people my age

I bumped off school chapel each Sunday night in my teens cos I preferred to watch Simpsons or Star Trek deep space 9
I went to Dad's local church which he attended after Mum was gone. He gor some support from locals. I stand in the pew looking at the floor. I look around at people but every glance means thay they reject me and see me as evil. I never sing.

I guess I like Death Metal. I will get obsessed by what was supposed to happen to me and why

I still stumble into TV coverage from churches


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## arao6

SchizoLoner said:


> With my parents, it does not matter if you are 21 years old--you go to church. It is the sort of thing no matter how old you are, you have to abide by our rules because you live here. It's not that they're holding a gun to my head, but I get looked down upon when I do not go... like I hate my family or something.


Go there for the morality if not the religion.


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## Foh_Teej

Who has a daughter??? I have 50 shekels!!


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## DarrellLicht

Try going to a Mormon church sometime. It makes your situation sound like a cakewalk in comparison.
Haven't been to any church nor engage in any religious practice since I was 18. I just don't find the church-clique any appealing.


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## DetachedGirl

lol technically I'm supposed to be a christian,but I haven't been to a church in wow almost 3 years...I just hate going!I live right next to a beautiful cathedral,and I love how it looks from the outside,especially at night,but I just couldn't stand being inside of it...the silence creeps me out,and all these candles and people praying...


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## PerfectlyIsolated

I grew up in a religious family that was a member of the Evangelical Free church, and man was it always like oil and water for me. 

I had a major issue with never asserting my opinion growing up, and ALWAYS trusting authority figures that I believe began by being forced to attend services, Sunday school, church groups and interacting with other indoctrinated members of the congregation. I remember a few times early on where I felt even restrained in my thoughts, my questioning of various religious points that I felt were "blasphemous" and just couldn't think them or I would be sinning. The whole concept of sinning in; "thought word or deed" really played into the anxious and obsessive parts of my personality and made them significantly worse. They led me to rebel in secrecy by commuting a significant amount of "sexual immorality" (masturbation). I would pray every day asking for forgiveness and eventually came to the conclusion that if God was really all powerful and all knowing, he would understand regardless. That was the very first step in the path to realizing the imperfection of my family's religion.

When I was in High School I slowly started doing everything I could to passively not go to church (lying to my parents, feigning illness and one time even straight up ditching a church group). I started going less and less until I didn't go at all even when I was still living at home. I think the last straw was being lured back on occasion by my parents only for them to take communion that Sunday. I felt that me being there as technically a non-believer was bad either way. Either you take communion and commit blasphemy against the flesh and blood of Jesus Christ (yay!) or you decline and everyone in the congregation judges me and my parents for not not raising a "good Christan son".

It was at this time I started asking the major questions and doubting why I couldn't even explore religion in a frank and intellectual manner. Upon further research I came to the conclusion that Christianity was founded on the very best intentions and principals but has since become a perversion of what it was. It's been left in the hands of very immoral people who have used it again and again to abuse, enslave and control the population of the Western world. And these same leaders and founders are supposed to be given the benefit of the doubt? 

The breaking point came when I realized the Holy Bible as we know it was made by the "winners"; the councils of Nicaea formed by Constantine. Ah Ancient Rome; the poster child for a godly civilization. Quite the opposite, they consolidated their power-based by formalizing Christianity; proscribing what was cannon and what wasn't. What was deemed non-cannon was destroyed along with the dissenting groups that the Church didn't agree with (wiped out by the sword). And we are supposed to put our complete faith in these despicable people with very questionable motive who didn't really care about faith but wealth and power? Who distorted the original views of the Church to suit the patriarchal status quo? When I see people go to church now I see them putting their faith in the humans they think are prophets, and trusted leaders ignoring their true motives. They ignore that the Bible is a compromised document and what they worship now, may be highly offensive to God. Not only that, but they are hostile to any dialogue about this subject as they simply refuse to think for themselves and would never every question what they perceive as "God breathed" scripture.

I identify as an agnostic right now, and lean toward atheism but I think there is a more pure, and true spiritual experience with "God, or source" that goes beyond the very primitive concept of human created organized religion.

Many people would see me going to Hell for thinking this way, but I feel many of them will also be taking a dip in the lake of fire for their despicable behavior if such a thing exists. And I'd like to be there to see the total shock on their face as they realize their entire belief system was nothing more than a human fallacy. All because they were sheep, that never thought, never questioned and trusted other humans out of fear and conformity.

And that is why I agree with those of you who dislike church.


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## iAmCodeMonkey

I have not gone to church in almost 10 years...

I can't say that I miss it.


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## Richard Pawgins

we all do


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## CharmedOne

SchizoLoner said:


> With my parents, it does not matter if you are 21 years old--you go to church. It is the sort of thing no matter how old you are, you have to abide by our rules because you live here. It's not that they're holding a gun to my head, but I get looked down upon when I do not go... like I hate my family or something. Then my mum seems to think I'm up to no good and have demons inside of me when I refuse to go.:um
> Out of all the churches, this does seem to be the better of ones. Worship is only 30 min. instead of two hours because the pastor was smoking weed and looking at the sky all weekend, coming up to the podium with a bull crap message for 5 min. and almost forgetting communion. No. This new place is less of an embarrassment for the Christian community.
> I still don't like the music, but atleast it's four times shorter. Besides that, there are a few more things: They are way too happy when I'm moody and brooding and they are always in my business: "Hey, how's the unemployment?" "You're in your 20's. Maybe you can lead youth group." "Let me introduce you to the drummer...":sus
> 
> Church makes me more anxiety prone and I've gotten to the point that I am not bothering to fake a smile. Do any of ya'll share this experience?


I suggest doing Kegels and thinking of sex. Even when they're asking you those questions, lol...


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## CharmedOne

CheezusCrust said:


> I was a Christian throughout my childhood and into early adulthood, but I didn't like going to church. My family also forced us to go -- if someone didn't want to, they'd be dragged along, spanked, threatened, etc even if in high school. Even Lutheran confirmation which was supposed to be a choice, wasn't. My sibling didn't want to be confirmed, and they still made her. They did loosen up a bit after I was 18, but it was still expected that I would go for me to be a good person in their eyes and be loved by them. I didn't go every Sunday at that point, but went frequently for a few years. (Church always bored me, I never felt comfortable there, and thought it was pointless going to a place of worship for an omniscient God but I think I went to retain a relationship with my family since they thought so badly of people who didn't go). I later moved to another city and completely stopped going. That seemed to help even when I came back. I was bothered by my mother when I came back for awhile -- she initially blamed some of my health problems on turning my back on the church) but she eventually stopped bothering me about going.


You actually just told the story of my life--right down to being spanked (that was for not being pin-drop quiet and/or sitting perfectly still through the hour + long church service every Sunday) and being Lutheran. Add to that 3 years of mandatory catechism classes, every Saturday morning, from 9 am-noon, age 11-13, until I was confirmed/communed. Truly, this does not foster faith or love of God in a child. I go every once in a while because it makes my mom happy (and she's getting older, I guess I can attempt to once in a while do something she considers "nice,") and I try to pay attention, thinking I may actually glean something positive from the experience, but inevitably the minister will say something that either offends me, irritates me, insults my intelligence, or all of the above. Sadly, I would really LIKE to have faith. Beats the alternative of dying and having everything come to an abrupt end after a basically crappy and dissatisfying life. But...sigh...


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## Noca

CharmedOne said:


> Sadly, I would really LIKE to have faith. Beats the alternative of dying and having everything come to an abrupt end after a basically crappy and dissatisfying life. But...sigh...


^ you can always change your perspective on a situation if you cannot change the situation itself.

I agree that wishful thinking won't make something come true. Just wanting some paradise afterlife, no matter how tempting, doesn't make it true without any evidence.


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## Burnt Toast

I do not mind going to church, I just have not gone in awhile.


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## ingenious53

CharmedOne said:


> I suggest doing Kegels and thinking of sex. Even when they're asking you those questions, lol...


Do kegels work? If so how long does it take to notice the effects.


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## ingenious53

One church can be very different from another church. I would recommend trying out several different churches before giving up on christianity.


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## CharmedOne

ingenious53 said:


> Do kegels work? If so how long does it take to notice the effects.


Ha, I really made the post facetiously, to be a brat, but I'll answer the question honestly. Yes, they are beneficial in several ways for both women and men to do. As far as noticing the effects...Weeeeellll, I never conducted an sort of a comparison study, lol. If nothing else, it'll take your mind off having to sit through any sort of overly long sermon/lecture/uncomfortable social situation in a much more pleasant way than a myriad of other options. And nobody knows, but you (unless you type it into a social media forum, like a certain someone who's now having second thoughts about the wisdom of doing that...  )


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## SchizoLoner

I mean it's been slightly better lately. Christmas is nostalgic for me, so I made the team for choir because I like singing, plus it pleases my mum. Most people at that church think that I'm...very odd, so I'd like to see their faces when I'm up their singing my lungs out like a _normal _person. People for the most part think that I'm eerily quiet, but when I open my mouth, I'm eccentric. Anyways, they think that this is the best church ever, so we're not going anywhere. And sorry, they don't like Mormons. It's funny how Christians hate each other. My friend of a friend once told me that she's an atheist and she come to church for the music. Interesting...

A few months ago, mum had me baptised and now I have to take communion other wise she pinches or kicks me when no one is looking. Can't get away with falling asleep either; that earns me another bruising. But I _can _get away with sitting down during worship and greeting people. I also doodle when it's time for the message. Sometimes, it's a good moral message: Don't trash talk people. Ironic much? I really hope he's not going to say something stupid about gay people. Last time the pastor had a _word _from God, he said that he feels it from the congregation and seemingly looks at me. It had to do with being dark and glum. He was referring to my gothic personality and dark clothing. Last thing I need is more hate toward gays and blacks. Also, I'm one of five blacks there. My parents aren't black. I always get these looks. http://www.bing.com/images/search?q...ECEB59DD8C57FE536A6AD869F7530&selectedIndex=2
My mum is my mum, but she's Persian and Russian. We've been going there since August and the lady who is one of the greeters said, "Are you her daughter?" "Yep." Wow, how shocking.


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## eris and dysnomia

If you're an adult, you should not be forced to go if you do not wish. I'd also argue that children and adolescents shouldn't be forced to go either because it's indoctrination, period. I didn't like church when I was a child indoctrinated with Christianity, and I sure don't like it as an adult atheist. My parents don't know that yet, though.


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## eukz

Damn that's sad. Talk to your parents, you don't have to waste your time like that.


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## Morpheus

SchizoLoner said:


> A few months ago, mum had me baptised and now I have to take communion other wise she pinches or kicks me when no one is looking. Can't get away with falling asleep either; that earns me another bruising.


This is illegal. You can call the police and have her arrested. It is assault. Every time your parents are violent towards you they are committing a crime.


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## LiveintheLight

Read the book God's Not Dead by Rice Brooks


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## lyrakay

I thought this was supposed to be a support group for agnostic/atheists? Why the heck are there posts on here encouraging the original poster to go to church or read the greatest fairy tale book of all time? 

To the original poster: If your parents require you to attend church in order to live there, then that's not following their practiced biblical beliefs of freedom of will. It would also indicate that they do NOT uphold their Christs 'unconditional love'. If they decree themselves Christians, then they are literally saying 'Christ I am' (Latin). If they say they are like Christ, then they must express unconditional love. Otherwise, it is nothing but hypocrisy.


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## Imworried

DetachedGirl said:


> lol technically I'm supposed to be a christian,but I haven't been to a church in wow almost 3 years...I just hate going!I live right next to a beautiful cathedral,and I love how it looks from the outside,especially at night,but I just couldn't stand being inside of it...the silence creeps me out,and all these candles and people praying...[/QUOTE
> 
> Same here, I haven't been to a church for 2 years. I can't stand 1 hour in the church. My parents and friends always ask me to go with them to the church but I refuse. They don't know I'm atheist, I don't think they will be happy if they do. I don't bother to tell them anyway, I feel like it doesn't matter if they know.


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## SchizoLoner

lyrakay said:


> I thought this was supposed to be a support group for agnostic/atheists? Why the heck are there posts on here encouraging the original poster to go to church or read the greatest fairy tale book of all time?
> 
> To the original poster: If your parents require you to attend church in order to live there, then that's not following their practised biblical beliefs of freedom of will. It would also indicate that they do NOT uphold their Christ's 'unconditional love'. If they decree themselves Christians, then they are literally saying 'Christ I am' (Latin). If they say they are like Christ, then they must express unconditional love. Otherwise, it is nothing but hypocrisy.


Thaaank you! I get this kind of crap on Yahoo answers. I'm asking atheists and there's all these Christians coming in telling me I'M stupid. At least, people are nicer here. 
I'm starting with not taking communion and not going to bible study. I don't stand for worship; I write and doodle instead. The only motivation to church is that we go to the bar afterwards. Maybe for the hell of it, I'll go to youth group. I'll probably have more fun there...or not. I'm going to sit somewhere else for now on. The side that I WILL be sitting is the youth side.


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## inerameia

I hate church too. It's so moot.


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## SummerRae

Church hates you.


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## MU11579

SchizoLoner said:


> Thaaank you! I get this kind of crap on Yahoo answers. I'm asking atheists and there's all these Christians coming in telling me I'M stupid. At least, people are nicer here.
> I'm starting with not taking communion and not going to bible study. I don't stand for worship; I write and doodle instead. The only motivation to church is that we go to the bar afterwards. Maybe for the hell of it, I'll go to youth group. I'll probably have more fun there...or not. I'm going to sit somewhere else for now on. The side that I WILL be sitting is the youth side.


One problem around where I live, deep in the Bible Belt, is that a Bible study is the main social gathering in town. It's either attend a Bible study, or be socially isolated.

I think the X-Boxes are the biggest cause of this, so many people seem to just play video games over the internet, rather than look for social activies.


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## wmu'14

I'm Christian but I hate church too. They think that everyone can just be happy and excited and friendly but that's so hard when I have SAD. I feel out of place and discriminated against. I see all the successful people at the churches I've been to and I think 'Wow, church really is run, ruled, and controlled by the people who are rich, successful, and happy.' Everyone at church is so perfect. It makes me depressed and makes me feel out of place.

I used to think that the friendliest people were Christian. That's what attracted me to Christianity in the first place. But then I realized how wrong I was and that everyone at church is just discriminatory against people with SAD. 

As a Christian I know I should feel at home at church but I do not. Not to mention the whole way church alienates non believers as well, but I won't get into that in this thread.


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## visualkeirockstar

Same here.


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## visualkeirockstar

SummerRae said:


> Church hates you.


A church isn't suppose to hate people.


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## MU11579

wmu'14 said:


> Everyone at church is so perfect. It makes me depressed and makes me feel out of place.
> 
> I used to think that the friendliest people were Christian. That's what attracted me to Christianity in the first place. But then I realized how wrong I was and that everyone at church is just discriminatory against people with SAD.


People at church are just ordinary people. Supposedly there is this ideal of having concern for other members in the church, but for those with little experience with anxiety, or other disorders, it can be difficult to understand. Also, not every member of a church seeks to have a heart of unconditional love and understanding.

One thing that makes it hard is that people have to be around you enough to be able to distinguish the person from the disorder. Since the disorder hinders you from sharing yourself with others, they generally only know the disorder. Hence why they would be stand off-ish. They wouldn't want to make a nervous person more nervous.

This is just my understanding.


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## WillYouStopDave

My parents don't go to church but they irritate the crap out of me about their beliefs ALL THE TIME. No matter how many times I tell them I'm not interested in it and I don't believe the way they do, they simply persist. 

That's the main thing that really upsets me about some Christians. They won't keep it to themselves. I mean, I don't even care if they mention it sometimes but some of them refuse to respect other people and they literally harass you about it.


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## Trones

Just ask your parents if you can go to a DIFFERENT church... then you can go in as a outsider looking to corrupt  Now you are free to act as you want, because these people are ****ing pathetic, believing that the tooth fairy and easter bunny are somehow their savior from something that doesn't exist.


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