# Feeling like all your friends secretly hate you?



## saturn21

I get this feeling all the time, really. Especially at night when everything from the day just comes back to me and I realize all the mistakes I made, and how everyone just tolerates me in reality while pretending to be my friend. It's a pretty big problem of mine.

For instance, just now, I got kind of self-loathing for a second during a texting conversation with a friend. She said she had to go soon after, so now I'm thinking that she must find me so annoying and negative and depressing to be around all the time and wanted to get away from me as soon as possible and probably won't talk to me anymore because I'm just wasting her time anyways...

I probably sound pathetic, I'm sorry


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## allthatsparkles

Stop over-thinking and analyzing every thing you say or do. I'm sure your friends like you. If they didn't, they wouldn't be your friends.


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## CopadoMexicano

yeah sometimes Ive been feeling that way lately and i wonder if I should continue being friends with my current friends ive known for at least ten years.


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## poopledum

Yeah, tbh most of my friends are just 'friends of convenience'. All doing the same subject at college...they get on better with each other than with me though. I'm just the kind of 'hanger on' I suppose.


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## LunaBlitz

Something similar happened to me with a best friend of mine. I had to cut myself off from her because I was being so negative. I had to be the mature one and know when I was dragging someone down with me. When you have depression it can make you self centered sometimes and not allow you to focus on the right things at hand. In relationships that negativity stresses the other person out sometimes cause no one wants to feel or dwell on sorrow. 

I'm not saying remove yourself from your group of friends or hate yourself cause that will only plunge you deeper into depression. But you have to make a conscious decision and tell yourself when you hang out with them you're not going to be the one who pulls the mood down. And if you need to talk to one of them ask them first if you can vent for a second. That way they are prepared to hear anything negative and they have the choice not to hear it when you are polite enough to ask. Be sure to use the word vent so they know you just want someone to listen. 

When you are depressed it shows through your tone of voice and body language. Start thinking of things that make you laugh when you feel this way around your friends. Enjoy your time with them and make sure you're doing things with them that you actually like and not just doing it cause they all want to.


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## TenYears

I agree with @allthatsparkles in that it's easy to overthink and overanalyze things. I'm horrible with that. I was sitting here going over everything I said to my kids this past weekend, analyzing everything. Did I say the right thing? Give the right advice? My oldest was kind of quiet on the ride home, is she upset with me? And on and on.

Your friends wouldn't be your friends if they secretly hated you. Really think about that, and how that sounds for a second. They don't hate you, it's your SA and probably some insecurities talking. Hey, be happy you have friends  , I have zero irl. None. Zip. Nada.


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## Caledon

I often feel this way  I often feel like a back up friend and I feel uninteresting and I'v had so many friends leave that I think I must be boring, even in real life I try to leave as soon as possible when talking to people to avoid annoying them because I feel as if I'm always being secretly judged and hated it drives me nuts because most of the time I end up being right. There are a few that I know don't get annoyed with me though, do you feel like you can deep down tell your true friends from the frenemys (fake friends) that want to hush you away as soon as they have gotten what they want?


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## BigBlueMoon

I have a good feeling they do. And actually, it's quite understandable, as I'm well aware of my flaws and have had friends that disliked me in the past. They do talk behind my back, that I know.


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## AndrewUK83

LunaBlitz said:


> Something similar happened to me with a best friend of mine. I had to cut myself off from her because I was being so negative. I had to be the mature one and know when I was dragging someone down with me. When you have depression it can make you self centered sometimes and not allow you to focus on the right things at hand. In relationships that negativity stresses the other person out sometimes cause no one wants to feel or dwell on sorrow.
> 
> I'm not saying remove yourself from your group of friends or hate yourself cause that will only plunge you deeper into depression. But you have to make a conscious decision and tell yourself when you hang out with them you're not going to be the one who pulls the mood down. And if you need to talk to one of them ask them first if you can vent for a second. That way they are prepared to hear anything negative and they have the choice not to hear it when you are polite enough to ask. Be sure to use the word vent so they know you just want someone to listen.
> 
> When you are depressed it shows through your tone of voice and body language. Start thinking of things that make you laugh when you feel this way around your friends. Enjoy your time with them and make sure you're doing things with them that you actually like and not just doing it cause they all want to.


That is all me that's how I get like with people especially when I think they don't care which if I am honest majority dont.


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