# thinking about quitting college



## supergirl1 (Dec 24, 2010)

i'm in my last year of college and it's been pure hell so far, which is why i'm considering to drop out. i have panic attacks pretty much every day and they leave me more than miserable. needless to say that i can barely focus and am probably failing most classes. my problem is that my classes are small (10-15ppl). i feel a lot better in a bigger group because i don't feel like i'm in the centre of attention that much. i am also required to do presentations on a regular basis which is the worst thing for me:sus the past weeks have been worst. i almost blacked out a few times because i was holding my breath (which i didn't realize at first):um to make things worse some of my classmates hate me because i didn't show up to some group meetings and presentations. they actually think i went partying  little do they know that i was actually feeling very 'sick' from the fear of going to college. so now i'm not only scared that my anxiety is going to get worse when i go back after xmas break, but i'm also worried how i will react when i'll meet my class mates after my no show:afr i know i shouldn't quit college over something like this but honestly it just feels like the only way (for now). is there anyone in a similar situation? i just don't know what to do.
i'd appreciate any help :roll


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## MattFoley (Dec 5, 2009)

Is there any way you can take medical leave for a semester and get in some therapy to help sort things out? I know how bad things can get but if you decide to drop out now I garauntee you will regret it down the road.


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## supergirl1 (Dec 24, 2010)

the problem is that i have already talked to administrations and he said if i quit i won't get a tuition fee refund. i could start over next year but i would have to pay for the extra year. :blank
i'm not taking any medication atm. i'm also not in any therapy. my gp thinks i don't need therapy. he told me to take things easy and ...wait:sus 
so now i have about two weeks time to decide what to do. honestly i feel like i need way more time to 'prepare' myself mentally:sus it's sort of a hopeless situation b/c no matter what i do i'll be disappointed with myself. i'm struggling b/c on the one hand i want to take time off and get things sorted out but on the other hand i'm scared that quitting might result in isolating myself completely instead of working on my issues. at least i'm forced to interact with ppl at college and although it's killing me insight at times, on the long run i know it's better for me than being alone and comfortable.:sus don't know if it makes sense but that's how i feel right now..


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## MattFoley (Dec 5, 2009)

Hmm I don't know then. I'm surprised they don't allow you to take some kind of medical leave without having to pay the tuition for that semester. Does your school have student psychiatric services? It might help to go to them and see if they know of any special program or anything that you could do. I get that you don't want to take a semester off and take that chance of isolating yourself. That would be really bad. But If you so find a way to get time off you have to be extra diligent and not allow that to happen. I know it's easier said than done but I felt exactly like you did in school and I wish I would have done things differently.


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## supergirl1 (Dec 24, 2010)

becks said:


> Hmm I don't know then. I'm surprised they don't allow you to take some kind of medical leave without having to pay the tuition for that semester. Does your school have student psychiatric services? It might help to go to them and see if they know of any special program or anything that you could do. I get that you don't want to take a semester off and take that chance of isolating yourself. That would be really bad. But If you so find a way to get time off you have to be extra diligent and not allow that to happen. I know it's easier said than done but I felt exactly like you did in school and I wish I would have done things differently.


Thanks for your advice. I did go to a counselor at my school but it wasn't helpful at all. She just stared at me like I was crazy and told me to go to a 'real' doctor:sus I'm never going back to her again. It was just absolutely humiliating and unnecessary. I think I will take a semester off and work on becoming stronger:um Again thanks for your help


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

supergirl1 said:


> i'm in my last year of college and it's been pure hell so far, which is why i'm considering to drop out. i have panic attacks pretty much every day and they leave me more than miserable. needless to say that i can barely focus and am probably failing most classes. my problem is that my classes are small (10-15ppl). i feel a lot better in a bigger group because i don't feel like i'm in the centre of attention that much. i am also required to do presentations on a regular basis which is the worst thing for me:sus the past weeks have been worst. i almost blacked out a few times because i was holding my breath (which i didn't realize at first):um to make things worse some of my classmates hate me because i didn't show up to some group meetings and presentations. they actually think i went partying  little do they know that i was actually feeling very 'sick' from the fear of going to college. so now i'm not only scared that my anxiety is going to get worse when i go back after xmas break, but i'm also worried how i will react when i'll meet my class mates after my no show:afr i know i shouldn't quit college over something like this but honestly it just feels like the only way (for now). is there anyone in a similar situation? i just don't know what to do.
> i'd appreciate any help :roll


I wouldn't quit - you are too close to graduating. My last year was torment because I tried to squeeze four quarters into three (including summer full time). While it stressed me out, I was glad I did it.


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## Kustamogen (Dec 19, 2010)

I was in university for 5yrs (I usually only took 4 courses a semester).....and I went to start my winter semester of my final year, I sat in the first classroom.....waiting for the prof.....and I just snapped....I wasnt even having a panic attack. Something in my head just clicked and I thought "**** THIS....I cant take it anymore" and I walked to the nearest computer. Dropped all my classes, and drove home. I couldnt handle driving to school and sitting in class anymore....having 3 panic attacks a day is exhausting. 

BUT....I wish I never dropped out. Things have gotten progressively worse with my anxiety since that time. I wish I made myself stay somehow. Maybe I wouldnt have gotten so bad if I kept pushing. But I know how hard it is....I couldnt handle it anymore and I understand where anyone with attacks are coming from.

As an outsider I say try and stick with it....but I know exactly how you feel....and I hope if you do drop out that you dont put yourself down much....its not your fault. I really kicked myself a lot after all that when maybe I shouldnt have.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Seriously, Kustamogen is right, too. You can use this as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Change your thinking and your reactions.

You are too smart and too talented to let this pass you by. Stick with it!


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## Hot Chocolate (Sep 29, 2008)

Don't worry, I'm failing my college soon because of my previous fast freaking food which I nearly got fired from and i'm jobless snow. I wasted my parents money and now i'm undergoing depression, both with college and work at the same time.

Many ppl drop out of college and it's almost as common as ants dying on the streets.


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## Ambivert (Jan 16, 2010)

^^sounds so tempting, I just want to drop everything...my college course and my job. I'm still trying to find myself and these things get in the way of my self improvement and finding my purpose in this world.


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## DarkHeartKid (Dec 29, 2010)

u all are fine ppl. :blank
better check this out:
i actually dropped out of it right after few weeks in it u__u and lie to parents until this day (second year) that i go there, if they find out this, they will more than kill me!!!! X__X 
just thinking about this i almost faint from fear srsly, so i just keep living in lies and lock my mind from this fearsome truth, bcz i just dunno what to doo >_<


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## talkswithkeyboard (Dec 28, 2010)

Hahaha, I did the same thing in my second year! First day of school, I made the decision. I went on the second day, went to student services and dropped out, while sweating bullets 'cause it was so busy. lol

I'm starting in January in a new school. I have high hopes since I have the advantage over any people who are just going for the first time (as arrogant as that may sound). I'm used to the way colleges work, how there's not much of a routine compared to high school. I just feel more confident, and hope I meet a few people like the two good friends I made in my previous school... But once I set foot on there on the first day, it could be a whole different story.


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## supergirl1 (Dec 24, 2010)

@ milleniumman75 & Kustamogen
Thank you for your opinions. You both are 100% right and I'm pretty sure I will regret it one day, when I will be looking back at my decision to quit. But I thought about it for a lot now and it's just that the way my SA is right now it would start affecting my health if I would force myself to go to college you know?:um I really hate having to do this, especially because everyone will think I'm just lazy or plain dumb. (most of my friends don't know about my SA) I don't mind if I am mildly uncomfortable but lately being in college gave me such an extremely unbearable senzation that I just have to do it. I only hope my SA is going to improve soon so I can finally finish college one day and actually start making a living on my own!:um

@Hot Chocolate: So sorry to hear that. It's like a vicious circle, because on the one side, if you stay in college you know it will be pure hell but if you quit you will end up feeling guilty and getting depressed  I know exactly how you feel. I am actually also very concerned about wasting my parents' money and explaining them why I'm taking a break... I'm pretty scared of that conversation right now:no

@Counterfeit Self
I'm exactly the same. I'm always arguing with myself, trying to convince myself that I HAVE to do certain things like finish college, go to work, go to socializing events. And you are right, it is so very tempting to just stay at home and not have to freak out like crazy at events that are supposed to be 'fun'. But we just have to continue fighting against our anxieties and hope that one day we'll be able to control them.

@DarkHeartKid
Wow I didn't think something like that would work:b Didn't your parents ever ask for your exam grades or school projects? I could never hide something that big from my parents. Maybe you could try to explain it to them. Surely they'll understand if they hear the reason why you did it? Good luck with everything!

@talkswithkeyboard
That's great that you are starting over in January. You sound very optimistic and even a bit excited, so I'm sure you'll do great now! I am also kind of looking forward to a fresh start sometime soon, when I am ready:um


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