# Why do so many guys in my class like me?



## ilovemusic89 (Apr 30, 2012)

I just started community college this summer and in every class there happens to be a few guys who eventually approach me or guys who show interest in me through body language.
I am not the stereotypical pretty girl, in fact im pretty modest and very shy around new people.
I am paranoid about this- why do guys like me if im not that pretty? This guy in class even asked me what i am doing tonight with my boyfriend ( which i do not have). 
Do guys find average looking girls to be more approachable?


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## JakeBoston1000 (Apr 8, 2008)

why even question it? just pick a guy you think you might like and give him your number.Why does it matter why they like you?Don't understand.Your probably good looking but not in an intimidating way.Also, alot of guys find quiet shy women attractive.


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## ilovemusic89 (Apr 30, 2012)

paulallan said:


> why even question it? just pick a guy you think you might like and give him your number.Why does it matter why they like you?Don't understand.Your probably good looking but not in an intimidating way.Also, alot of guys find quiet shy women attractive.


Its just weird. I feel like guys are using me or something, but most pf the times it seems like guys are interested in having a genuine convo with me, they dont flirt with me in an obvious way... Unfortunately most of these guys that approach me are not my type at all and are unattractive to me


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## JakeBoston1000 (Apr 8, 2008)

using you how?They are attracted to you and want to get to know you.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

ilovemusic89 said:


> Its just weird. I feel like guys are using me or something,


 Honstly- this sounds like you might be a bit paranoid. Showing interest through body language might be paranioa also.

How to you dress? What do you look like? Maybe you are better looking than you think. Are you maki8ng eye contact with these guys? I knew a woman who made eye contact and smiled at all guys even if she wasn't intersested in them - she had some major issues and she would compalin that guys kept coming on to her.


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## ilovemusic89 (Apr 30, 2012)

scarpia said:


> Honstly- this sounds like you might be a bit paranoid. Showing interest through body language might be paranioa also.
> 
> How to you dress? What do you look like? Maybe you are better looking than you think. Are you maki8ng eye contact with these guys? I knew a woman who made eye contact and smiled at all guys even if she wasn't intersested in them - she had some major issues and she would compalin that guys kept coming on to her.


Nope, no eye contact or anything in fact, i avoid eye contact, but it has never worked. im very shy and keep to myself. I dress girly yet modestly, not like a skank. Theres this one guy in class that always turns around whenever i stand up from my seat to get something from the front of the room, and one time he followed me into class...


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## Garretoo (Jan 19, 2011)

Sounds like you are more attractive than you think. I think there would be plenty of people that would love to have your.. ehhhemm... problem.


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## Ashley1990 (Aug 27, 2011)

hahha i used to think the same at my first job at call center..though i never tried on any guy but evry guy knew my name and that i am single and kept on trying on me and flirting as well

i look average and i dnt think i am that much pretty as supposed to be.....
i never got any attention while schooling but as i passed out,i grew fairer and more confident....

i know i am not much beautiful but yes my behaviour is awesome...
i am always called as nice and sobber..wherever i have worked .....


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## crome (Dec 2, 2008)

pic.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

ilovemusic89 said:


> Nope, no eye contact or anything in fact, i avoid eye contact, but it has never worked. im very shy and keep to myself. I dress girly yet modestly, not like a skank. Theres this one guy in class that always turns around whenever i stand up from my seat to get something from the front of the room, and one time he followed me into class...


 Girly? Does that make you stand out? I didn't know many woman who dresed girly in school. Maybe you have a hot butt or legs. I rermember one time I followed a girl with hot calves around like a little puppy dog.


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## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

are you suggesting they're just trying to get laid?

dont put out, and see if they stick around. if they still like you, then your prettier than you think


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## little toaster (Jul 5, 2012)

ilovemusic89 said:


> I am not the stereotypical pretty girl, in fact im pretty modest and very shy around new people.
> 
> Do guys find average looking girls to be more approachable?


I usually like girls who are kinda quiet sometimes.

Ones who are very outgoing and like to talk all the time seem to get really bored when I (try to) talk to them. So even though they are really pretty, I lose interest in them very quickly.

Ones who may be shy at first turn out to be the nicest and most caring girls I know. Maybe it's just me who thinks that.


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## Garretoo (Jan 19, 2011)

scarpia said:


> Girly? Does that make you stand out? I didn't know many woman who dresed girly in school. Maybe you have a hot butt or legs. I rermember one time I followed a girl with hot calves around like a little puppy dog.


Girls have no idea what they are doing to men when they wear any kind of thin tight pants. Or at least it doesn't seem like they do. If some girls knew how arousing it can be I think they might think twice about it.


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## kreeper (May 21, 2008)

Hm. Well I can't tell if this is actually bothering you or if this is a backdoor brag a la 30 Rock, but try to enjoy the attention while you can. You may be more attractive than you think, you could just be "paranoid"... While I generally tend towards thinking people don't like me when there really is no such feeling present, I have made the embarrassing mistake once where I thought a guy liked me but he didn't, and in fact had a serious girlfriend. He opened doors, offered to pay for my lunch, things I thought for sure were signs --- but nope, he was just brought up to be extra kind to women. But if it isn't just paranoia or hypersensitivity, let them know you have a boyfriend, and if they continue to flirt then they are being asses.


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## Ashley1990 (Aug 27, 2011)

I think u look quite more than average


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## ilovemusic89 (Apr 30, 2012)

_AJ_ said:


> are you suggesting they're just trying to get laid?
> 
> dont put out, and see if they stick around. if they still like you, then your prettier than you think


Im sure these guys dont want to get laid or anything because most of the things we talk about are not flirty or suggestive, we just make friendly conversation. Maybe hese guys just want to be my friend... Although i am quite boring, i dont know why they still talk to me


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

Hmm. I can't think of any other reason than you being good looking, especially if you are the shy quiet type. If you were really plain and average then you would be mostly ignored.


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## ilovemusic89 (Apr 30, 2012)

Freiheit said:


> Hmm. I can't think of any other reason than you being good looking, especially if you are the shy quiet type. If you were really plain and average then you would be mostly ignored.


hm.....i dunno, i was always brought up to think I was average looking...
i wish i had the guts to show you a pic, but I can't do that...hah.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

I'm going to give you more credit than you do and say you're a somewhat attractive girl. In college, that means guys in your class are going to notice you a lot more.


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## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

Get your pics out!
Get your pics out!
Get your pics out for the boys!
Get your pics out 
for. 
the. 
boys!


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## John The Great (Jul 23, 2012)

You probably send off an accesible vibe. I know women like this, and sometimes I am attracted to them and other times I just enjoy the conversation.


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## pbandjam (Sep 24, 2011)

You coming off as pretty normal looking/shy (by your description) means these guys think they are from your league. Since you mentioned they were unattractive, think about it this way: prettier girls wouldn't give them a second thought. So they might feel that they have a chance with you even because you don't come off as rude, annoying, high maintenance etc. If you wanna get these guys off your back I'll give you some advice. Start acting like a *****. Wear designer clothes for a while and start ignoring them more. They'll definitely get the message.


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

It's mating season.


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## ilovemusic89 (Apr 30, 2012)

pbandjam said:


> You coming off as pretty normal looking/shy (by your description) means these guys think they are from your league. Since you mentioned they were unattractive, think about it this way: prettier girls wouldn't give them a second thought. So they might feel that they have a chance with you even because you don't come off as rude, annoying, high maintenance etc. If you wanna get these guys off your back I'll give you some advice. Start acting like a *****. Wear designer clothes for a while and start ignoring them more. They'll definitely get the message.


i do put a lot of effort into my outfits, but thing is I wear a lot of low key clothing. ugh, that's exactly what i feared-so pretty girls don't get approached much, do they?


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## ilovemusic89 (Apr 30, 2012)

Hadron said:


> unless a female is below average in the looks department, she'd get hit on pretty frequently by guys. it's not unusual at all. that's at least what I've observed.


what about the pretty girls? aren't most guys shy or intimidated by them? which brings me to another question, if most guys are so intimidated by them, why do pretty girls have tons of friends on facebook and most likely to be in a relationship?


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## ilovemusic89 (Apr 30, 2012)

Jollygoggles said:


> Get your pics out!
> Get your pics out!
> Get your pics out for the boys!
> Get your pics out
> ...


Um, what? lol.


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## ilovemusic89 (Apr 30, 2012)

pbandjam said:


> You coming off as pretty normal looking/shy (by your description) means these guys think they are from your league. Since you mentioned they were unattractive, think about it this way: prettier girls wouldn't give them a second thought. So they might feel that they have a chance with you even because you don't come off as rude, annoying, high maintenance etc. If you wanna get these guys off your back I'll give you some advice. Start acting like a *****. Wear designer clothes for a while and start ignoring them more. They'll definitely get the message.


also, i've observed how different guys act around the pretty girls. 
there's a "pretty/****ty" looking girl in one of my class and it seems like she is the one initiating all the convos with the guys in the class...none of the guys speak to her first. i was frankly surprised by this scenario, as I had expected the guys to swarm around her like bees to a flower. seriously...
The modest looking, nice girls are the ones that seem to get the most attention from average guys, at least where I am from.


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## Twelve Keyz (Aug 28, 2011)

cuz you got a big dick.


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## ilovemusic89 (Apr 30, 2012)

Twelve Keyz said:


> cuz you got a big dick.


that was really uncalled for.


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## Twelve Keyz (Aug 28, 2011)

ilovemusic89 said:


> that was really uncalled for.


lol my bad


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## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

Jollygoggles said:


> Get your pics out!
> Get your pics out!
> Get your pics out for the boys!
> Get your pics out
> ...





ilovemusic89 said:


> Um, what? lol.


Judging from your 'Ums' this isn't a well know diddy you might hear from a rowdy bunch of uncouth gents in the states then.

A play on words, deary. That's all.


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## awfulness (Jul 13, 2009)

is this how girls think if i ever grow the balls to go talk to them?

that's pretty discouraging. 

Or maybe those guys just don't have any game?


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## Tania I (Jul 22, 2012)

Well..you just probably had the luck atm, but luck alone won't do. So i believe you're also attractive.

Too bad you find the boys unattractive though. Certain amounts of unwanted attention could cause stress when you don't like to be the center of it.

If the boys are polite, they could be nice friends. Just let them know clearly if you want them as friends or when you don't enjoy much attention.:duck



Nada said:


> It's mating season.


:lol



Jollygoggles said:


> Judging from your 'Ums' this isn't a well know diddy you might hear from a rowdy bunch of uncouth gents in the states then.
> 
> A play on words, deary. That's all.


darn it. why did i opened ur link. i laughed so hard.


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## Yeezus92 (Dec 30, 2011)

this won't end well lol


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## ilovemusic89 (Apr 30, 2012)

Yeezus92 said:


> this won't end well lol


Why? Lol


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## KiwiGirl (Nov 13, 2011)

Maybe they are just being nice and friendly, that's it.


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## lyric (Aug 21, 2011)

You're probably HAWT.


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## DeniseAfterAll (Jul 28, 2012)

ilovemusic89 said:


> I just started community college this summer and in every class there happens to be a few guys who eventually approach me or guys who show interest in me through body language.
> I am not the stereotypical pretty girl, in fact im pretty modest and very shy around new people.
> I am paranoid about this- why do guys like me if im not that pretty? This guy in class even asked me what i am doing tonight with my boyfriend ( which i do not have).
> Do guys find average looking girls to be more approachable?


Maybe you've got the wrong idea about yourself?

Hey.. no one ever was able to define beauty.


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

ilovemusic89 said:


> I just started community college this summer and in every class there happens to be a few guys who eventually approach me or guys who show interest in me through body language.
> I am not the stereotypical pretty girl, in fact im pretty modest and very shy around new people.
> I am paranoid about this- why do guys like me if im not that pretty? This guy in class even asked me what i am doing tonight with my boyfriend ( which i do not have).
> *Do guys find average looking girls to be more approachable?*


Meh, I wouldn't say that's the reason. The thing a lot of girls should understand is that men have things called "taste" and what is stereotypically pretty to most isn't always going to be pretty to them. I can't tell you how many times me and a group of guy friends had a discussion about girl's attractiveness and during every single one a guy found a girl to be gorgeous that another didn't.

It really isn't uncommon for guys to honestly be attracted to you even if you're not a super model. I know this from talking to a lot of guys and I can admit to feeling that way myself.

I get attracted to a certain type of look or looks and it usually isn't that perfect 10. Sometimes I find "average" looking girls to be the most beautiful.

One thing is for sure...I love a certain look...and it's not a supermodel look....but I find those types of women to be soooo beautiful. You will run across a guy who thinks you're sooo beautiful even if you don't know it or don't believe it.

Edit: Oh & looks can be perceived differently given the right personality...so maybe the way you seem on the inside is what people really want to be a part of.


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## ilovemusic89 (Apr 30, 2012)

lyric555 said:


> You're probably HAWT.


um, more like not?


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## ilovemusic89 (Apr 30, 2012)

KiwiGirl said:


> Maybe they are just being nice and friendly, that's it.


that's what i would like to think, but from my experiences, guys are never JUST friendly to girls... they end up getting flirty or asking about bfs and such -_0


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## JohnWalnut (May 2, 2012)

I posted this in a different topic before but I think it might apply for your case : http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-mathematics-of-beauty/
Specifically:


> So this is our paradox: when _some_ men think you're ugly, other men are more likely to message you. And when some men think you're cute, other men become less interested. Why would this happen? Perhaps a little *game theory* can explain:
> Suppose you're a man who's really into someone. If you suspect other men are _uninterested_, it means less competition. You therefore have an added incentive to send a message. You might start thinking: maybe she's lonely. . . maybe she's just waiting to find a guy who appreciates her. . . at least I won't get lost in the crowd. . . maybe these small thoughts, plus the fact that you really think she's hot, prod you to action. You send her the perfectly crafted opening message.
> 
> "sup"
> ...


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## pbandjam (Sep 24, 2011)

Twelve Keyz said:


> cuz you got a big dick.





Twelve Keyz said:


> lol my bad


Hahahahahahah *chokes on food* LMMFAO


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## ilovemusic89 (Apr 30, 2012)

JohnWalnut said:


> I posted this in a different topic before but I think it might apply for your case : http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-mathematics-of-beauty/
> Specifically:


great logic there...so basically ugly girls get bombarded with attention, while the cute ones aren't approached a lot?
doesn't that only relate to online dating, though?
what about real life?


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

You're obviously not giving yourself enough credit. I'll break it down for you. They think you're attractive. So cute girl + close quarters + horny college guys = Talking to you.


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## clt851988 (Jun 9, 2011)

ilovemusic89 said:


> I just started community college this summer and in every class there happens to be a few guys who eventually approach me or guys who show interest in me through body language.
> I am not the stereotypical pretty girl, in fact im pretty modest and very shy around new people.
> I am paranoid about this- why do guys like me if im not that pretty? This guy in class even asked me what i am doing tonight with my boyfriend ( which i do not have).
> Do guys find average looking girls to be more approachable?


Wow! To be quite honest with you I'm pretty jealous! I wish I was you! Are you not interested in any of these guys?


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## ilovemusic89 (Apr 30, 2012)

shyvr6 said:


> You're obviously not giving yourself enough credit. I'll break it down for you. They think you're attractive. So cute girl + close quarters + horny college guys = Talking to you.


I never would see myself as attractive ( maybe slightly cute ). my mom tells me im average looking and doesn't believe i can find a boyfriend on my own -_-... Im still paranoid...what do these guys see in me.. Lol. Seriously, i think they are just practicing on me


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## ilovemusic89 (Apr 30, 2012)

clt851988 said:


> Wow! To be quite honest with you I'm pretty jealous! I wish I was you! Are you not interested in any of these guys?


No. They all happen to be really unattractive, no not average looking -UNATTRACTIVE and unhygienic... I wish they'd just leave me alone... Decent intelligent guys never seem to approach me


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## Introversa (Jun 21, 2012)

scarpia said:


> Honstly- this sounds like you might be a bit paranoid. Showing interest through body language might be paranioa also.
> 
> How to you dress? What do you look like? Maybe you are better looking than you think. Are you maki8ng eye contact with these guys? I knew a woman who made eye contact and smiled at all guys even if she wasn't intersested in them - she had some major issues and she would compalin that guys kept coming on to her.


It's called being nice!! There's nothing wrong with smiling at people... sometimes people need to distinguish between a flirty smile and a friendly one. Also how a woman dresses is irrelevant. People always make excuses for men by blaming women: "she was raped because she was wearing a short skirt" it's not ok. "she smiled at me so she wanted it" A smile does not mean i want to have sex with you. Sometimes we are nervous when we catch someone looking so we smile awkwardly.


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## Introversa (Jun 21, 2012)

ilovemusic89 said:


> I never would see myself as attractive ( maybe slightly cute ). my mom tells me im average looking and doesn't believe i can find a boyfriend on my own -_-... Im still paranoid...what do these guys see in me.. Lol. Seriously, i think they are just practicing on me


I understand where you're coming from! I also get paranoid if guys are too interested. I think maybe they just want to use me to practice their pick up skills or they think i'm easy. Sometimes you just need to forget the negative things people say to you. Just start by being friends with them who knows you might end up liking one of them and you get to find out who has pure intentions and who doesn't 
Good luck!!


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## Introversa (Jun 21, 2012)

ilovemusic89 said:


> No. They all happen to be really unattractive, no not average looking -UNATTRACTIVE and unhygienic... I wish they'd just leave me alone... Decent intelligent guys never seem to approach me


Oh! In that case ignore my last reply lol


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

ilovemusic89 said:


> I just started community college this summer and in every class there happens to be a few guys who eventually approach me or guys who show interest in me through body language.
> I am not the stereotypical pretty girl, in fact im pretty modest and very shy around new people.
> I am paranoid about this- why do guys like me if im not that pretty? This guy in class even asked me what i am doing tonight with my boyfriend ( which i do not have).
> Do guys find average looking girls to be more approachable?


Asking you what you are doing tonite with your boyfriend was a way of getting to see if you have a boyfriend.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

ilovemusic89 said:


> No. They all happen to be really unattractive, no not average looking -UNATTRACTIVE and unhygienic... I wish they'd just leave me alone... Decent intelligent guys never seem to approach me


Ohhhhh poor you... here's an idea. You should approach guys who seem decent and intelligent instead of waiting around and complaining about being hit on by guys you're not interested in.


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## JohnWalnut (May 2, 2012)

ilovemusic89 said:


> great logic there...so basically ugly girls get bombarded with attention, while the cute ones aren't approached a lot?
> doesn't that only relate to online dating, though?
> what about real life?


Why would guys be attracted to different things offline? If you are the "loner", average girl you describe yourself as, then it's perfectly logical why you get a fair amount of attention, as your looks are passable and your social status makes you an easy target for desperate guys.


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## forex (Dec 29, 2010)

ilovemusic89 said:


> I just started community college this summer and in every class there happens to be a few guys who eventually approach me or guys who show interest in me through body language.
> I am not the stereotypical pretty girl, in fact im pretty modest and very shy around new people.
> I am paranoid about this- why do guys like me if im not that pretty? This guy in class even asked me what i am doing tonight with my boyfriend ( which i do not have).
> Do guys find average looking girls to be more approachable?


now i wanna see you pic. :yes


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## Amorphousanomaly (Jun 20, 2012)

ilovemusic89 said:


> No. They all happen to be really unattractive, no not average looking -UNATTRACTIVE and unhygienic... I wish they'd just leave me alone... Decent intelligent guys never seem to approach me


This happens to me a lot too! It's never anyone even halfway desirable.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Introversa said:


> It's called being nice!! There's nothing wrong with smiling at people... sometimes people need to distinguish between a flirty smile and a friendly one.


 Well lots of guys - especially young horny guys - can't tell the difference.


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## Whatev (Feb 6, 2012)

You should try to instill more confidence in yourself, after all we are our own biggest critic. Tho if you feel their intentions are not true then stick with your instincts. Just ignore them or limit your wording, hopefully then they'll get the hint. Summer is almost over so just hang in there. Good Luck!


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

scarpia said:


> Well lots of guys - especially young horny guys - can't tell the difference.


:lol Indeed.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

It's tough to say but "pretty" is so subjective. Maybe you're prettier than you think you are. Stereotypical pretty can get really boring.


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## Maliblue (Aug 1, 2012)

They're just horny, that's all.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Wow I wish I had your problem.


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## earlgreytea (Jul 11, 2012)

x


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

earlgreytea said:


> Ooops, I must be really ****ing ugly. :lol


Ditto.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Sounds like a "good problem" if you ask me.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

I'm sorry that these guys are making you feel uncomfortable. But atleast they aren't shy to approach a pretty girl. Just tell them you have a boyfriend and I'm sure hte attention would die down. If they don't listen then tell them you're not interested. That's if you don't like who the attention is coming from. I tell guys I'm a lesbian. That works...sometimes.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

earlgreytea said:


> Ooops, I must be really ****ing ugly. :lol


Hahahah! I know right. That's what I was thinking too.


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## Blawnka (Dec 12, 2011)

You're probably good looking...nuff said.


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