# Let's hear about your awful older siblings.



## Nellidae302 (Nov 7, 2015)

So this is my first post here on this site. I don't know how things work around here but every so often I came here to read about other people's experiences with social anxiety and would like to vent, (but just a tiny bit) about my sibling and hear about other people's siblings.

I'm absolutely certain that my elder sister is a soulless harpy who derives reassurance on the fact that she is in a great university, has a relatively successful part time job, a boyfriend, and lot's of friends while her little sister -whom she largely denies the existence of to anyone who questions the resemblance- is essentially the opposite.

So hypocrite that I am I'd like to derive reassurance that other people have far worse older siblings than I do and that I should just suck it up. Being flesh and blood doesn't mean we're obligated to have a relationship right?


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## lizzy19 (Jun 16, 2012)

I have three but there's just one who I don't get along with because he's a jerk.


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

I will go find my sister so she can say something about me.


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## Chelsalina (Oct 15, 2014)

Every time I walk past my brother he has to insult me by calling me ugly or fat (the insults don't stop there), I'm average and he weighs over 300 lbs by the way. Whenever I do something good he dismisses it. For example, when I went to my first traditional high school in Ohio after a year of doing online school I said that my first day turned out a lot better than I thought so he said, "Nobody cares and it doesn't matter because we're moving anyways." Or if I get an A on a test he'd be like "High school is easy, try college". He also told me that I was ***** for having anxiety and said I was worthless and wouldn't amount to anything. 

The things he said might not be a big deal to some people but he says these types of things everyday it seriously took a toll on my self esteem. Every younger sibling looks up to their older sibling and when they bully you it ****s with your brain and I believed him for a long time.

Now that I'm older and more mature I've come to the conclusion that my brother is unhappy with his life so he has to project his insecurities onto me. He doesn't have any friends and never had a girlfriend or even a friend that was a girl for all I know, he's 21 (turning 22 in a month). He's been taking the same class for 3 years in college because he was unable to pass them and he was kicked out of his university for that. He's been playing games since he was 13 and has become extremely addicted to it to the point where he isn't studying for his classes or caring about anything else in life. 

Basically, everything in life is going terrible for him so the only way to make himself feel better is to make my life worse. Because I've finally realized this I have the courage to fight him back, defend myself, and hurt him emotionally like he did to me. Most people will say that's not a very mature thing to do but I think justice is necessary and everyone should know that you reap what you sow.


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## Cool Ice Dude55 (Jan 7, 2014)

I hate my older brother so much. Infact I'm going to disown him soon.

He is:

-Super patronising to me and treats me like I'm 5 (I'm in my 20s).
- He is very very angry, and is always swearing and punching things and acts in an aggressive manner.
- He's been unemployed for years and it has tore our family apart. He rejects all of our advice and money to help him get back on track. Instead he scrounges of my mum for money.
- He's just so rude about everything.

I just hate him so much. But sometimes we get along and act like best friends. It's difficult.


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## klvmm (Sep 16, 2015)

My older brother is ok (although he is severely disabled and can't do anything anyway), my younger brother is ok, my younger sister is a narcissistic, arrogant, *****y, irritating and spoilt bully who makes the lives of others a misery and she is proud of it -_-


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## firestar (Jun 27, 2009)

Cool Ice Dude55 said:


> I hate my older brother so much. Infact I'm going to disown him soon.
> 
> He is:
> 
> ...


Are you one of my younger siblings? Because that sounds exactly like my older brother. Anger issues, check. Unemployed and sponging off parents, check. Being rude and patronizing, check.

I refuse to talk to my older brother anymore. He's a jerk and a bully. I care about myself and my younger siblings. But I won't ever lift a finger to help him.


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## AffinityWing (Aug 11, 2013)

I'm sure my older brother still holds a grudge on me for ending up the spoiled little girl while my dad physically abused him, and from what I heard from my grandmother, even got neglected, when I was born and wasn't even allowed to touch me by my dad. Then he changed and got horrible anger management problems, we've got in physical and verbal fights more than once. He became a ******* that called all the women in his life a ***** and I just felt sorry for him at that point. I got a grudge for him myself, seeing the heartless monster he turned into with everyone around him. Our relationship is very strained now, we barely talk at all or alot less than siblings should, because I know he'd just get pissed off again and brush me off.


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## zomb (May 4, 2014)

My oldest "brother" used to hit his children, my nieces. He obsessively worked out and always talked about seeing special lights around people or hearing sounds that werent there or taking to animals or ghosts. Obsessively played computer games every hour he was awake. Did drugs-weed mostly, several times a day. Abusive to all of us.

One day my sister came to our house and told us she had come from his house and had seen a massive bruise on my nieces eye- she was 4 at the time. Later on he said he was only meant to punch her on the lip. He doesn't see any wrong in anything he's ever done. Infact he blames every one else for the stuff he's done. Everything from not going to school to drugs to hitting his daughters. He continued to say things like "I've changed" or "that's in the past" as if by saying that then he was obsolved of his wrong doings then would just go on and be abusive again and repeat the process each week.
Then he joined a cult or religion, both the same. And actually got on a high horse to tell us all his past is forgiven by god but ours isn't and our haven't. Which means he still hasn't changed and hasn't accepted his own wrong doings and continueS to blame others. He he did believe his past was forgiven surely that would show that he is entirely responsible for his actions and not us , so why continue to blame us.

He reminds of some people here as he held onto every negative thing that happend to him, all the anger and hatred and resentment. That mixed with drugs and constant gaming made him into a poisonous, too far gone person.

Haven't spoken to him in years, he thought I would after some time. I was fed up of his crap over the years, the fights he used to start and the trouble he caused. I got rid of him out of my life, Inc any anger I had for him.

Saw him a couple weeks ago in the street, he said "I love you " . Sick person 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## HannahG (Aug 31, 2010)

I have a brother and a sister. Growing up my brother used to always tell me how ugly/fat/annoying/stupid/friendless I was. I always believed him, to the point where if someone complimented me I thought they were lying & it gave me a lot of anxiety & shattered my self confidence. My parents always just said 'ignore him' and never disciplined him. I remember thinking (around 10-ish) that my parents clearly liked him more than me because any time I tried to stand up for myself, my parents (well, my dad mostly) would be like "don't get so defensive!" or "It's only a joke!"

My brother also never let me play with him (Despite us all being 1 yr apart). My sister and I used to be friends when we were young but always up and left in the middle of playing, leaving me alone. i.e.) We'd be playing hide and go seek and I'd be hiding and she would never come back.

My siblings were allowed to play their sports & events they wanted to but I had to tag along so I never got the chance to do my own thing or discover what I like. 

When I got to high school, me & my siblings got along just fine but they pretended not to know me at school and I never saw them at home. And now that we're grown up, they never call, rarely text, and they act quite snobbish. They have great jobs, they're married & have kids and they act like I have nothing and that my life is sad. They also talk about money a lot, saying they can't afford that or this. I've been tight for money for years and it's hard when there are no good jobs, wage freezes and rent keeps going up . So I just stuck with my ikea furniture and futon. I didn't like it but it worked because I didn't want to go broke. Then my sister starts telling people how crappy my apartment is. I spent months making scarves and wraps for her at Christmas last year (which is what she asked for) but then was like 'oh thanks' and tossed it aside before raving about the gift from my brother.

Don't get me wrong, they're good people overall but I am seeing quite a lot about them revolves around status & money. They sometimes treat people in low-income as second class but then talk about it like "we need to put an end to inequality" rubbish. 

I think a lot of people's SA has to do with their experiences and I can say that much of mine stems from family issues.


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## Nellidae302 (Nov 7, 2015)

I actually forgot about this thread for the longest time. It's nice to put things into perspective; I can definitely relate to some of these stories but at least my sister isn't abusive. I hope you're all doing okay or at least better.

Most people here seem to have always had lousy relationships with their siblings meanwhile I used to be best friends with her before she naturally lost all respect for me and pretended I didn't exist in Junior High lol

....Would it be weird to reply to people after a month?


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## firestar (Jun 27, 2009)

Nellidae302 said:


> I actually forgot about this thread for the longest time. It's nice to put things into perspective; I can definitely relate to some of these stories but at least my sister isn't abusive. I hope you're all doing okay or at least better.
> 
> Most people here seem to have always had lousy relationships with their siblings meanwhile I used to be best friends with her before she naturally lost all respect for me and pretended I didn't exist in Junior High lol
> 
> ....Would it be weird to reply to people after a month?


Personally, I always appreciate a response.

The resurfacing of this thread seems appropriate given tomorrow is Christmas and I'll be forced to open presents with my brother. We don't like each other at all but we'll do the usual song and dance to please my mom.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

I have three older siblings. One sister and two brothers. My sister is the oldest one and the meanest one. She still doesn't like me and never will. She always said I was ugly and that nobody would ever want to go out with me. My second oldest brother is critical of my physical appearance as well. My third oldest brother ruins my reputation and gives out information about me to people who know me....information they're not supposed to know. I will never get along with my siblings because they're the ones who don't want to improve our relationship. I'm willing to fix things, but they don't which is why there is no point for me to continue being nice to them. I have not seen them in a year and however long it takes for them to apologize for the way they've treated me, I'm willing to forgive them. If not, then I believe I no longer have a family.


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## RockNroses (Aug 5, 2015)

I'm not gonna vent abour my only sister but here's a lil about her. She's 20 y/o and in university, she pretty much had/has a much better life than me since my family fell apart but she'll keep crying to me about how much she deserves more and whenever something bad happens I listen to her anf comfort her and stuff, but when it comes to me even if i ask a simple question she'll yell and just be stupidly rude. She even made fun of me to some of her friends. She only talks to me when she has nothing to do and when I point that out she plays the victim I mean she's just slefish, hypocrite, liar and eveything you could find in the worst older sister in the world lol


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## Arcases (Nov 20, 2015)

I have an older sister and that's about it


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## NBCFan (Jan 12, 2016)

I have two older brothers. One of them is lovely, sometimes we don't see eye to eye but he is nice. The other, well how much time do you have? He is a nasty, horrible scumbag I cannot even begin to describe to you what he has done to our family. Stolen everything we hold dear, wedding rings, family heirlooms, money, DVDs, jewellery etc. Anything you can think of, you name it, he has taken and sold it, mainly for drugs. He has no friends because he has stolen off them and he has never had a girlfriend. 


He can barely hold a job because he cannot be bothered to get up in the morning. My dad does everything for him and he treats him worse than you would treat your worst enemy. Calls him every name under the sun when my dad gets him up for work, "you fat c***", "f*** off" etc.. If dad cannot take him in because he has to go to work early he throws a complete strop and doesn't go in. He smashes the house up if dad doesn't give him money. My dad pays everything for him including his dog, which he can barely look after. He always complains he has not money but he always has the money for his weed and to buy stupid things like £10 on fizzy drinks. 


He has been physically, mentally and emotionally abusive to me for most of my life. I understand siblings fight but some of the things he has done to me is completely insane. I won't sit here and say I am an angel because I am not, far from it in fact. Sometimes I could just walk away and I do scream back at him or if he hits me I do hit him back and I have done little things like nicked a box of cigarettes off him when I was wonder (smoking is not cool do not start!) or drank his milkshake or something but surely his reaction is completely over the top. 
He has pushed me in the face and ripped out my eyelashes, thrown things at me, picked me up and strangled me in the air (when I pinched his cigarettes), kicked me, pushed me in the face (when I told him not to talk to dad so disrespectfully), punched me in the back of the head into the wall (because I had a scarf wrapped round my head) and just lately he pushed me into the back door (because he said in front of my dad and boyfriend that I was a c*** and he wants to kick me in the face so I didn't do him any dinner). I had had enough. 


I've moved out my dad's house now because nothing seems to get done, he has been allowed to get away with his behaviour for so long and it has ripped my family apart. We have all been in tears because of him and I dread having to go home most of the time that most of the time I stay away. I always get told "I will sort it out" but nothing is ever sorted and it always reverts to the same thing. He doesn't attack my other brother because he knows that he will smack him back and he doesn't attack my dad for the same reason but he will attack me because he knows the most that I can do is hurt his feelings. He is over 6 foot tall and plays rugby, I am 5.3 and tiny compared to him. 
He always hits me when no one else is around as well so he can lie and say "I never touched her" or "she hit me first".


There is so much more but those are the things that are in my memory at the moment.


I have moved in with my boyfriend and his family now and I still cannot sleep very well but it has only been a few days since I left. I feel a lot safer without him around but I hate that I have had to leave my dad but I cannot live with him anymore.


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## Donkeybutt (May 3, 2013)

My older brother is a total ****head. He treated me and our younger sister like crap, constantly bullying us and doing it in a way that our parents would be oblivious to. He would talk down to us like we were retards and told me that I should kill myself because I wasn't "mentally fit" to succeed at anything. :roll

Eventually, he showed his true colors to both parents, threw an absolute s*** fit, pretty much said he wants nothing to do with his family, and left. Haven't heard from that prick since. He had no reason to do this, either. Sure, our parents were really overbearing and religious, but they genuinely cared about us and only ever did things to benefit us and keep us safe. Ironically enough, they raised a little demon spawn.


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

@sas62759, he's obsessed about his horrible older brothers


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## Cool Ice Dude55 (Jan 7, 2014)

I cant tolerate living with my brother anymore. It's killing me. 

He doesnt tidy up after anything and i spend hours cleaning up after him. My mum wont do anything about it :cry

He's so f***ing lazy and thinks working 4 hours a week is acceptable. He's never been financially independent in his life. I just want my parents to stop blowing money on him to live his ridiculous life.

He blew £25k off inheritence in 2 weeks. He didn't think about it. He just bought stupid things like guitars. It shows what a ridiculous awful human he is. That money could of been spent on alot of nice things for the future. But he chose to act like a d***. And the worst thing? My parents didnt punish him or tell him off. 

They say he's an adult...they cant do anything. WELL he doesnt act like it!

He EATS all of my food. I buy food for myself with very little money. He eats all of it. He is a selfish human being. 

The fault is my parents. They have let him live this selfish bratty lifestyle his whole life. I try telling them but they wont listen. I'm so sick of it. Hes 27 and acts like a teenager. 

I wish I didnt live with him. If I didnt live with him I would refuse to talk to him forever. He's never been a brother to me. I hate him so much.


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## Anti depressant (Jan 29, 2011)

Cool Ice Dude55 said:


> I cant tolerate living with my brother anymore. It's killing me.
> 
> He doesnt tidy up after anything and i spend hours cleaning up after him. My mum wont do anything about it
> 
> ...


Wow okay that almost makes my feel somewhat better. But, I wish that were the issue I had. This month he's been super annoying to me. He harassed me several times. He thinks that harassment is subjective and he doesn't need to stop talking to them when they want him to.

He pounded on my door continuously after I told my mom once that he threatened to burn my hand after I burned an oven mitt by accident. He said he was joking but I don't think he is now. He recently told me that he hoped he didn't have to hurt me and just recently he almost damaged my $900 phone while shoveling. I told him to be more careful but he denied it and then tried to blame me for it.

So, I wish your problems were mine. I plan on not taking to him for a very long time ago.


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## StephCurry (Jan 11, 2016)

I have one older sibling who I despise and I'm just grateful we're both at uni so I don't have to deal with him.


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## Anti depressant (Jan 29, 2011)

chefcurry said:


> I have one older sibling who I despise and I'm just grateful we're both at uni so I don't have to deal with him.


That will end and you'll eventually have to deal with him you know. Things don't just disappear just because you're away.


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## StephCurry (Jan 11, 2016)

Anti depressant said:


> That will end and you'll eventually have to deal with him you know. Things don't just disappear just because you're away.


Why's that? After my degree I plan on doing further studying or getting work experience. I don't want him in my life. Just because we are blood-related doesn't mean I have to unconditionally 'love' him.

The only drawback is that it greatly upsets my parents to know that we have a poor relationship and that I hate him. The last thing I want to do is upset my parents.


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## feckoff (May 2, 2014)

After a lot of thought, I've recently realised that my dad is behind the reasons my siblings picked on me as a kid. He was always saying how smart I was. By the way I'm not claiming to be smart. My parents are unintelligent. I seemed like Einstein to them.

My eldest sister was very clever and I don't think she liked my dad saying I was smart. I guess it was a competiveness. Theres no other reason I can think of why she bullied me worse than my other supposedly stupid siblings. She bullied me until she was about 20 and I was 11. How pathetic is that? A 20 year old criticising and picking on an 11 year old. We have an okay relationship now but I still think about things she did.

Then there's my sister whos two years older. She called me geek and nerd and beat me up all the time. Courtesy of my dad again. He'd try and do school work with her and call her stupid and dumb and ask me to answer her maths homework questions to humiliate her. I'd innocently answer the questions because I was a little kid. She treated me like **** until I was about 15 and had "cool" friends and then she'd want to come smoke weed with me and my friends. We drifted away from each other once I got to about 19 and became an SA crippled weirdo and she a dysfunctional homeless person. I rarely see her now. I actively avoid her since I'm almost recovered and being around her and her criticism dents the little self esteem I've developed.

Luckily all my siblings are strange so I don't stand out in my family. I'd hate to be the black sheep.


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## feckoff (May 2, 2014)

chefcurry said:


> Why's that? After my degree I plan on doing further studying or getting work experience. I don't want him in my life. Just because we are blood-related doesn't mean I have to unconditionally 'love' him.
> 
> The only drawback is that it greatly upsets my parents to know that we have a poor relationship and that I hate him. The last thing I want to do is upset my parents.


Congrats on being in uni. How are you finding it?


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## feckoff (May 2, 2014)

Nellidae302 said:


> So this is my first post here on this site. I don't know how things work around here but every so often I came here to read about other people's experiences with social anxiety and would like to vent, (but just a tiny bit) about my sibling and hear about other people's siblings.
> 
> I'm absolutely certain that my elder sister is a soulless harpy who derives reassurance on the fact that she is in a great university, has a relatively successful part time job, a boyfriend, and lot's of friends while her little sister -whom she largely denies the existence of to anyone who questions the resemblance- is essentially the opposite.
> 
> So hypocrite that I am I'd like to derive reassurance that other people have far worse older siblings than I do and that I should just suck it up. Being flesh and blood doesn't mean we're obligated to have a relationship right?


Do you see your sister often? I feel for you. I'd hate to have to compare myself with a sister who's more successful.


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## inane (Oct 21, 2013)

My brother is the best sibling in the world. Love him to pieces. Amazing brother and human being, and I am very grateful for him.

Zero sarcasm or anything here- Siblings can be your absolute best and most loyal friends!


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## feckoff (May 2, 2014)

chefcurry said:


> Thanks but not that great to be honest  I went clubbing for the billionth time today and ended up getting rejected. :crying: :crying: :crying: I can't stop crying.
> 
> I wish I was as smart/good-looking as my older brother :crying: :crying:


Well at least you got to go clubbing. Rejected by a girl? Lower your standards LOL.


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## StephCurry (Jan 11, 2016)

feckoff said:


> Well at least you got to go clubbing. Rejected by a girl? Lower your standards LOL.


LOOOOOOL that post is so cringey I was drunk as **** when I sent that, just came home from clubbing xD

Nah I was upset cos I got rejected by like 6/7 girls that night, I didn't even go for attractive ones... now it confirms that I'm one ugly *******. LOL.

Been clubbing one too many times, I don't enjoy it so I'm done with it. Plus I'm a very emotional drunk... should probably give up alcohol too.


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## feckoff (May 2, 2014)

chefcurry said:


> LOOOOOOL that post is so cringey I was drunk as **** when I sent that, just came home from clubbing xD
> 
> Nah I was upset cos I got rejected by like 6/7 girls that night, I didn't even go for attractive ones... now it confirms that I'm one ugly *******. LOL.
> 
> Been clubbing one too many times, I don't enjoy it so I'm done with it. Plus I'm a very emotional drunk... should probably give up alcohol too.


Don't take it personally. I rejected guys in clubs because I was there to have fun with my friends. I'm sure you're not ugly. Besides you see ugly people with girl/boyfriends all the time. I'm an emotional one too so I try not to drink too much lol.


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