# What were you like before you realized you have SA?



## sin0fchaos (Nov 1, 2010)

Before I realized that I had SA and that it was a big problem, I remember myself feeling neutral. I was always a shy person, but I always felt happy day to day. I was able to talk to my friends,family or teachers freely and even though I was always nervous when I had to present, I realized that almost all of my friends were like that. Now everything is the opposite :roll (I r sorry for being negative at the end)


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## GummieBear (Nov 13, 2010)

*I was always super happy and hyper....I thought I had to have friends hang out at night and things like that..Around other people I would never just be myself I would always act like whoever I was hanging around { FYI never a good idea } . I actually always find myself so bored around other people and exhausted from pretending..After awhile I noticed how comfortable it was to be alone and how much fun I was having. *


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## frustratedguy (Jan 1, 2011)

I was really outgoing, I miss that person. Alot of the friends I have today are retained from that period.


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## MansfieldRaver (Jan 15, 2011)

I was confident and fun to be around although ive never been one for proper conversation.I do still have a good sence of humour though and laugh at anything


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

I was basically a really anxious and lonely guy who just assumed he was possibly the strangest guy in the world.


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## holkapolka (Dec 29, 2008)

*I was*

I was able to laugh at myself and find fun in it, now it appears I am so afraid of beeng ashamed by others that I cant humble down externally.


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## GooGav (Feb 7, 2010)

I was really looking forward to making a success of my future, and ready to work hard and play hard.

And somewhere along the line I seemed to have lost my way.


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

Completely reclusive and wrapped up in narcissistic fantasies. I don't remember ever considering there was anything wrong with me, or rather that my perceptions weren't reality. It was easier and seemed more logical at the time to blame society for not accepting me as I was. It doesn't feel much better now, knowing that the problem is with me because fixing it seems to be a lost cause.


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## Magical mystery tourguide (Jan 1, 2011)

hard to say, looking back on before I was a teenager I was a completely opposite person - like other said I was also very talkative and had no problem striking up cnoversation with strangers.

but as I progressed in puberty my awareness of my shyness kept on growing, and even though technically at this point I wasn't aware of that it was a mental disorder, I clearly knew there was something wrong with me because I had such fear and anxiety around people, just being judged. 

but on the flipside I didn't know who the hell I was before, and would attatch my ego to outside things and identify myself with thatm. I still have that problem severely, but being aware of the need to find yourself can have its benefits, and at the same time its severe downsides when you really have the guts to look at the full picture of yourself.


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## Yella (Sep 27, 2010)

Unfortunately, I don't think I had a time before SA, wish I did so I could have been normal for at least part of my life.


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## purplefruit (Jan 11, 2011)

I was always just a little "off", but I was a nice kid (was pretty mouthy towards my parents though). I had a lot of friends and other kids liked me. I made friends relatively easily. I used to participate in clubs at school, I was in the dance club for 3 years, calligraphy, origami, probably other clubs I can't remember. Also was part of brownies, then girl guides as well. Overall I was a pretty normal kid. I was always introverted though, I was never outgoing. I think I started developing SA when I was around 11 or 12.


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## Silent Hell (Sep 17, 2010)

Anxious and sickly. When I was younger my stomach hurt every morning before school so I ended up drinking pepto bismo for breakfast.


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## PDXRyan (Jan 13, 2011)

I was usually always the observer in groups or you know, the third talker as in not the focus of attention but added my little bit here and there. However, I always loved being around people and showing off my skills like back in the day skateboarding, snowboarding, surfing or what ever. I never really felt uncomfortable. Sure I would get nervous around girls or whatever but nothing out of the ordinary. Then came the panic attacks which turned into agoraphobia which is pretty much the same as social anxiety. Some times I can't be around people or feel extremely nervous like I'm about to just die (I know you all know what I'm talking about) but some times I'm still just fine. Funny thing is I almost feel more comfortable around groups of strangers these days and can strike up conversations pretty easily. In these situations if I start to feel a panic attack coming on I can just slip away and nobody will notice because they don't even know me anyway. I guess the lack of an obligation to be or stay (ie. trapped) somewhere with these unknown people makes it easier to deal with compared to the obligations you have to structured meetings or activities with friends. Who knows?


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## Aphexfan (Jan 12, 2011)

I honestly can not remember too much before i started to develop SA. But I do know it definitely was not so severe and I had a much easier time making friends when I was younger.


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## King Moonracer (Oct 12, 2010)

I thought that i must have some kind of alien brain or something, and was super depressed from my very supporting parents making fun if me for bein the "creepy quiet kid" as they put it.

Then i discovered the internet, and found out that i only hve a ****ed up human brain.


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## softshock11 (Jan 9, 2011)

I felt like people were easier to be around and tolerate. I was much more open to meet new people. I made friends easily. I didn't think too much about things like "am i being awkward?" "did i say something wrong?" "what are they thinking about me?"

i really miss who i used to be i was so happy and positive.


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## justagirl9 (Jun 13, 2010)

PDXRyan said:


> I was usually always the observer in groups or you know, the third talker as in not the focus of attention but added my little bit here and there. However, I always loved being around people and showing off my skills like back in the day skateboarding, snowboarding, surfing or what ever. I never really felt uncomfortable. Sure I would get nervous around girls or whatever but nothing out of the ordinary. Then came the panic attacks which turned into agoraphobia which is pretty much the same as social anxiety. Some times I can't be around people or feel extremely nervous like I'm about to just die (I know you all know what I'm talking about) but some times I'm still just fine. Funny thing is I almost feel more comfortable around groups of strangers these days and can strike up conversations pretty easily. In these situations if I start to feel a panic attack coming on I can just slip away and nobody will notice because they don't even know me anyway. I guess the lack of an obligation to be or stay (ie. trapped) somewhere with these unknown people makes it easier to deal with compared to the obligations you have to structured meetings or activities with friends. Who knows?


Wow, I totally understand the group thing. It's like I don't know them anyway so who cares what they think.


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## confidencelost (Sep 3, 2010)

Before SA I was social, confident and happy.
Then when the SA started, but I wasn't really aware it was unusual, I thought I was happy but everything social was such a struggle.
When I realised I my SA was a lot greater than is normal, I felt lonely, depressed, and desperate.

In some ways my life was better when I was extremely anxious but thought it was normal! Ignorance is bliss, eh? Still, the positive is that if I can go from being really social and confident to very socially anxious, then I surely can go back the other way!!


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

I was always the same. Except I thought I was the only one like this on the planet and that I had something _seriously_ wrong with me.


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## solasum (Nov 17, 2008)

I have always been very shy, but before I educated myself about the world outside where I grew up, I felt inferior to others because I thought that being outgoing was the only acceptable way to be.


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## mixtape (Dec 18, 2010)

I was blissfully content wrapped up in my own little world.


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## Shooterrr (Jul 19, 2009)

I was exactly the way I am today. But now I feel better knowing I'm not the only person in the world with this problem.


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## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)

I was very depressed all the time because I thought there was something wrong with me. Then I realized I had social anxiety. Now I'm much better because I know I'm not a freak.


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## trendyfool (Apr 11, 2010)

I thought there was something wrong with me--and now I know that there is, sort of, but it's not my fault and lots of other people go through the same thing.


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## ThisGuy (Jul 13, 2010)

I knew there was something wrong, but couldn't put a finger on it. Excessive anxiety hadn't crossed my mind yet; in fact, I just couldn't convince myself that too much _anxiety_ of all things could have such a negative effect on a person.

Summer of 2009 was when I began to really look for reasons for why I felt agitated and intimidated amongst people in general, and why I apparently hated myself. It took a long to sink in, but now I accept the problems I have, why I have them, and what it will take to get my life back...not that I was living large pre-SA, but it'd be nice to have a couple social skills if ya know what I mean.


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## hickorysmoked (Mar 7, 2010)

Before I knew this thing had a name, I was much more outgoing and wanted to talk to everyone. Once I realized that it was a "condition" I started to not like anything fun, and I essentially closed myself off to friends. I am trying to get better now, but it still sucks. I honestly regret ever finding out what I had. I wish I could have just continued living my life and fighting the good fight instead of settling into my problems and making it an excuse.


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

i was lost


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## sound (Jan 25, 2011)

I was really truly miserably shy and uncomfortable in social situations for as long as I can remember... I remember watching zoloft commercials when I was like 9 and freaking out because I felt like they were describing me, so I always tried to dismiss it as such a bull thing (depression). Once I realized it was a legit thing though it was actually kind of helpful


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## milkteef (Dec 26, 2010)

Um I was funny, fun, care free a tiny bit shy at times but not too much. I could make friends and have fun. I was often described as the fun girl who does crazy stuff lol


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## TheDaffodil (Jun 20, 2009)

I was anxious and quiet around people I didn't know but I was friendly and liked to have fun with other people. After something happened I got out of control and that's when I think the disorder took over. I was a complete, sick mess but didn't know it was anxiety. I just knew something was so wrong with me that I couldn't even hide it from my family anymore. Everyone knew. So I begged for help and that's when I was diagnosed. I feel like I'm closer to who I used to be. I am just as playful as I've ever been so...wasn't a death sentence.


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## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

I acted like an idiot and tried too hard to fit in. I was more talkative and loud.


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## Mandyy (Jan 3, 2011)

Confident, fun to be around, happy, popular, nice, outgoing, etc.
Now I'm only like that with people I feel comfortable with. I reeeeeally wish I could go back to my old self though.


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## sherbert (Jun 24, 2005)

Before I was diagnosed I was still terribly shy, but there was a brief moment in middle-school when I became a class-clown/trouble-maker. During this time, I wrote an in depth autobiography depicting my loneliness and anxiety, which brought me to the school counselor. To my surprise, she believed that I was actually 'gifted' and thought perhaps I was just bored with class. It was a wonderful thought believing that I was different in a superior way. Especially because it made my suffering seem almost justified. 

My I.Q. test proved that I was, in fact, pretty average. Below average with math cognition. Even though the counselor did her best to find the proper outlet for me, deep down I knew something wasn't right. I was fourteen and wanted to die. It was just too painful to say to anyone. After breaking down in the hall, I told my mom that I needed to see a shrink. 

This thread has a difficult but obvious observation: the diagnosis is a double-edged sword. While you often gain the sympathy and support of people, you often play to the label you've been attributed.


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## camtrol (Sep 29, 2010)

I used to have and be more fun but i was self medicating with alcohol to hide my fear so i think it doesn't count. Since i've cleaned up my act i feel much worse but also i have a feeling of accomplishment that carries me through. Outside contaminents can fake a good mood but it's not real, it's just a chemically produced feeling of euphoria. Being sober and dealing with my feelings is the only way to truly get over this crap.


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## fictionz (Nov 18, 2006)

I was confused of why I keep avoiding people although at the same time I want to have friends and have fun around sometimes. Always pondered on my own, looking at other people, wondering things.


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