# Nervous About College Roomates



## Nightwing (Sep 7, 2006)

Because of my social anxiety, I find it hard to initiate conversations with people whether in real life or over the internet. I just received my college roommates' contact info yesterday, but I'm nervous about contacting them. I wanted to wait until they contacted me, but my parents keep hassling me and saying things like, "It'll be your own fault if you don't get the bottom bunk." They're driving me crazy! So what should I do? Is it ok to wait for them to contact me? Or should I contact them? And if so, what do I say?


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## Snow Bunny (Jan 28, 2009)

Contact them! Just introduce yourself, ask them what they're studying - the usual stuff. I'd have loved to be able to contact my roomies before moving in!
I'm moving into a house with 5 people I don't know in a few weeks - it's nerve racking as hell. But definately, go for it. It'd be awesome to get to know them beforehand.


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## Desperate (Apr 3, 2009)

Snow Bunny said:


> Contact them! Just introduce yourself, ask them what they're studying - the usual stuff. I'd have loved to be able to contact my roomies before moving in!
> I'm moving into a house with 5 people I don't know in a few weeks - it's nerve racking as hell. But definately, go for it. It'd be awesome to get to know them beforehand.


I agree. Plus think of it as "exposure therapy". The more you step out of your comfort zone, the easier it gets.. It's helping me.. I just started college a few weeks ago, I'm living in student housing, and I'm doing much better than I expected.. Of course one of my roommates is my friend since 8th grade, which does make it easier for me.. But even so, I get nervous talking to people too and yet I try.. Anyways.. Just try and be positive!!


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## kikachuck (Nov 10, 2003)

Dude, just contact them. It doesn't have to be anything big, just say "hi my name is <nightwing> and I will be your roommate this fall" then just dive into some practical concerns such as who brings what furniture, etc..


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## KyleThomas (Jul 1, 2009)

Nightwing said:


> Because of my social anxiety, I find it hard to initiate conversations with people whether in real life or over the internet. I just received my college roommates' contact info yesterday, but I'm nervous about contacting them. I wanted to wait until they contacted me, but my parents keep hassling me and saying things like, "It'll be your own fault if you don't get the bottom bunk." They're driving me crazy! So what should I do? Is it ok to wait for them to contact me? Or should I contact them? And if so, what do I say?


Contact them and introduce yourself. They might be as nervous as you are.


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

If you want to contact them, then go for it.

But if you don't feel comfortable doing that, then it's perfectly alright to wait until the first day to meet them. 

If you do contact them, just go for really simple small talk or things that relate to your dorm. Tell them what you're studying, ask them the same, tell them your year, etc. Also, there are certain things that you really only need one of in a dorm room, so you could try to coordinate who's getting the TV if you want one, who's bringing the fridge/coffeemaker/microwave, things like that.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Just contact them! If they're friendly, they'll correspond with you. And most likely they're scared too, because it'll (probably) be their first time away from home.


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## NemoNevermore (Aug 7, 2009)

You don't necessarily have to talk to them. I've had two different roommates now, and with the exception of a few half-hearted conversations at the beginning of each semester, I never said a word to either of them. We just politely and quietly shared the same space. In some ways it was actually nice. I could go out with my friends and then not have to worry about pressure to socialize when I got back in. I guess it just depends on what the chemistry between you and your roommates is like when you meet them in person. And hey, it could be really cool having a roommate you're friends with. I ended up being really close with my next door neighbor, and we barged into each other rooms all the time and always had fun.


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## utopian_grrl (Jun 26, 2008)

my university gives us a telephone number and school e-mail address for our roommates. My first roommate I contacted on facebook and chatted with her there for about half an hour about likes/dislikes, habits etc. I then gave her my cell phone number. She called me later in the day and we briefly discussed a few more things, like what we were bringing, etc.

My second roommate I e-mailed and gave her my cell phone number. She called me back in a few days.

My advice: I'd initiate the first contact by e-mail/facebook if they don't contact you first. It's a lot less pressure that way because you can easily edit what you write before sending it. And, because if you give them your number in the message, you've taken the first step and can wait for them to make the next & much harder move of calling you.


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## somethinginthewind (Jul 11, 2009)

Totally contact them! I was in touch with my roommates for a month before we moved in together so the ice was pretty much broken when we finally met. Made things so much less stressful. Ask about school, job, interests etc. Ask if they've ever had a roommate before & how was the experience. I became fast friends with one of mine and dreaded meeting the other though so I guess it can go either way. :b


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## yellowpaper (Nov 13, 2007)

I've talked to both of my rms on facebook... one only responded with a "hi" basically. The other one, we had a pretty long convo about a lot of stuff. I definitely feel more comfortable that I know her a bit.


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