# Serious Question: Are Relationships Even Worth It?



## Eternal Solitude (Jun 11, 2017)

This is going to be a long rant and I know the premise of the question might seem silly ...but: are relationships even worth the time , effort, money, blood and tears?

A little background on myself: I didn't grow up in a happy home. I was constantly caught in the middle of marital disputes and often times was used as a weapon to get at the other person. So you could say that I've experienced the limits of what a man can do to hurt a woman and what a woman can do to hurt a man. I often disregarded this situation as being an exception to normality. I just happened to be born into a ****ty family.

But looking back most of my friends had divorced parents and it was the same thing with my cousins...

Despite of my problems at home, as a child I had an idealized concept of romantic relationships as being a very strong loving friendship between two individuals that involved physical affection . And that the love shared between those two individuals would culminate in perfect synergy and synchronicity thus becoming one. A single entity comprised of two people. For the better or for the worse, in health and in sickness, in life and in death.

Yes, there would be good times , physical affection and all the glamour. But to me true love is found in bad situations. Love to me is like holding a baby in your hands only for her to puke on your face and your only concern is her well being rather your physiological aversion to vomit. Love to me is being very angry at another person and knowing exactly what to say to destroy that person but holding back. In other words, love is letting go of your individuality for the sake of another person.

Things got very strange once all my friends and I hit puberty. Hormones kicked in and teenage sex was discovered. I stopped relating to everyone. For some reason, I did not have the same urges as everyone else. I could not fathom ( still can't ) hooking up , having casual sex or having 'friends with benefits'.* For me sex is an act that results from a deep emotional relationship, rather than a physical act that results in an emotional relationship. Because of my train of thought, I thought that I was asexual for many years. Only a few years back did I discovered that I am in actuality a demisexual.*

One thing that I noticed from these formative years is that it was always the "s l u t t y" girls or the girls that put up the most had the most luck with relationships. It wasn't the good friend that would bring her crush's homework to his house whenever he was sick. Conversely, it was the "insensitive jerks " the ones that had most luck with girls. Not the sensitive artistic types. So while all the "bad boys and girls" were out having fun the "good boys and girls" were rotting on the sidelines because they could not garner enough attention to sprout relationships.

But none of these relationships developed into something serious or lasted anyway...

When I got into University things only got worse as there was no parental supervision and there was a lot more permissiveness. The good boys and girls had to sacrifice their ideals or face isolation. *During this time I used to scuff and laugh at all the girls that thought that they could sleep around in hopes of finding their "Prince Charming" and live a "Disney Fairy Tale Life" for the rest of their lives. Like seriously, how many frogs do you have to kiss in order to find the one that turns into a prince? And even in the case that you find a prince how are you going to make him feel special when in his mind he will always be another frog to you?
*

Again none of these College relationships lasted. At least, in my circle...

I am now a few years into my career and things are crazier than ever as there is a lot more at stake (houses, kids, cars , financial ruin, shady divorce lawyers, etc...).

I've seen good and devoted middle age wives being dumped for twenty-something gold diggers...

I've seen good guys lose their home, kids and reputation to evil *****es...

*At the moment I am trying to make sense of this part of the human experience. As my location implies I am lost in a maze of relativism.

Do we as humans over-complicate our primal sexual nature by adding metaphysical mumbo-jumbo such as : love, empathy, kindness and loyalty? When all we want is to F each other in the literal and figurative sense? This concept could be used to rationalize prostitution as well. Also if this concept is true then that would make me a deviant for being demisexual? Is there a way to treat this psychological disease?

Or perhaps metaphysical concepts such love, empathy, kindness and loyalty are real and worth fighting for?

This post-modern world is just too confusing... I am so lost.

Please share your thoughts or advise.

*


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Yep worth it......the highs are better than the lows.


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## BrokeTech (Jun 1, 2017)

I don't think everyone is just looking for someone to screw. I know I'm not. I think that's more common in men, but...it might not be all men.

Anyway.

My observation is real-life relationships--as opposed to the ideals we're fed in the media, in books and by others word of mouth--have almost always been about trading something off to get something. I don't really feel like going into details, but think about the gender roles nearly everyone used to live by (I guess in "Western" cultures) and _why_. One of the reasons dating and relationships are so much more confusing and harder to navigate nowadays is how all these gender roles have changed and how those changes have affected society. It has complicated what people want from each other and also has made it so that so many of us don't know what others want from us. It used to be a lot more clear.

Ultimately, though, I still see a lot of relationships as being about tradeoffs. I tend to feel like men and average women want to trade something to get something in return--and not stuff like love, but financial security, status, sex, housekeeping, companionship (in a "I don't want to be alone" sense), etc--whereas more successful women seem to look for carbon copies of themselves. Bottom line, *I don't think a ton of people are out there seriously like, "I just want to find someone who loves me whom I can love back."* *It's all about things, agendas, appearances, expectations and objectifying people in some way. There are so many loveless relationships out there for these reasons, which, no, are not worth it to me.
*
To elaborate/for examples, here are some links I read this past weekend:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/shelley-wetton/why-i-married-a-man-i-did_b_6575594.html


> When happily married, I felt loved, so very loved, and held onto that feeling even though our love was long gone and I was holding onto nothing but an intangible dream. While living in the past, I grew numb to the present and passively moved through a life that couldn't possibly belong to me. I worried if I stopped remembering what once was, the comfortable life I knew would slip away forever, never to be found or felt again. How could I recreate that feeling of wholeness and security in the present? How could I reconstruct a world where my son was going to thrive?
> I'd find a new husband!


http://www.yourtango.com/2012161366/men-and-commitment


> Society has taught us that the next step in a relationship is marriage, then babies. If you opt for a lifestyle that differs from this, then people start wondering what's wrong with you. Sometimes it's better to just succumb to society's standards.


https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...we-marry-people-we-arent-physically-attracted
*Please do read the list of reasons why some people married their spouses in this one!*

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...ent-reasons-So-relationships-fared-since.html
*I love the 2nd story in this one! It's really the only one that gives me any hope.*


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## StaceyLaine14 (Apr 11, 2015)

More mature women will post in this thread than me, but I did want to state that my experience has been quite different from yours so far. My parents don't have an ideal relationship, but it is functional. The parents of my two best friends from high school married their high school sweethearts and are all still married to this day. I doubt they have the kind of relationship you idealize though. I'm not sure that I've witnessed the kind of love you are talking about. I do think people seek relationships for more than sex though.

I agree that promiscuous women do seem to find relationships more easily, but in general, these relationships are not healthy. I was looking up old high school friends on Facebook last night and all of the promiscuous girls are single mothers or mothers who are engaged to low caliber men. Some of the innocent girls from high school are also engaged or married, but to much more stable men (seemingly). I think the reason promiscuous people seem to fair better in the dating world is because they simply meet more people and connect more easily with people. More reserved people simply tend not to know as many people or be as assertive as the promiscuous ones. I think seeming unattainable can also work to their disadvantage. 

I think it's generally acknowledged that sexual attraction is prerequisite for beginning a romantic relationship with someone else and that sex plays a major role in attraction and sustaining a relationship. But I do think there's more to dating than just sex. I know people like to throw the term "serial monogamy" around, but I struggle to accept that most people find it ideal. I think most people want to find one person who makes them happy for the sake of being confident in your ability to find and sustain one's happiness through them. I don't think many people welcome the uncertainty that comes with shifting out of a secure relationship. I think that's probably really what it boils down to. Just trying to find someone who you can be happy with. I don't think most people are trying to let sex control their actions. Sex is just a simple way to make oneself feel good. I think most people set aside attaining the kind of love you are talking about because it may not really exist. Instead they settle for whatever love seems available, and seem very greatful to have it.

I was personally very interested in causal sex as a teenager and didn't really believe in love. After a year of casual sex in college, I've outgrown that desire. I'm not at all demisexual, and being demisexual may very well be deviant, but I don't think it's something that needs correcting. There's no reason to have sex with people you aren't interested in starting a relationship with. It has no benefit whatsoever. 

I've always said that I think love exists for those who believe in it, so if you and your future partner believe in the kind of love you've described, then what the rest of the world believes doesn't matter. I don't think the form of love you've described is at all common, but I'm sure other people believe in it as well. If you should be so lucky to fall in love with one, then you will both want to fight for it together, and that's all you really need. .


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## a degree of freedom (Sep 28, 2011)

Growing up takes awhile I guess. Even when I've thought I've done well and done the best I can look back and see how it wasn't, that there was not just some particular thing I wasn't considering, but that entire kinds of considerations didn't carry the weight I might better have given them. I try not to think too well of people or think poorly of them based on reflections from my experiences. I try to just admit that I don't know them and can't predict them except that they'll do what they think is best given a limited data set and knowledge of how best to process it. I try not to find meaning in it, feel betrayed, or think I can take a global view of human motivation in emotional terms. Still, I do have to believe in better instincts in people whether or not people seem to possess them. My sense of meaning and happiness depends on it because I know the only way my mind can integrate within is by believing in integration in the first place, that meaning is constructed through human bonds. In recognition of that necessity the virtues we look up to sprout forth as logical consequence. Whatever the drama of others and of myself learning and coming into ourselves, I can't delve deeper than that necessity which threads together all thought to begin with, and that is so much a better word for it than "faith". If you're ever confused, you can always know what must be true by what has the structure necessary to support the existence of your mind. If following it shows you to be nothing, it's hard to call it "faith" to insist it is not true, and yet that's how it feels to a part of us that actually wonders if we aren't actually nothing.

I didn't mean to get all philosophical. :/ Just @StaceyLaine14's post made me want to try to write something thoughtful too. I don't really know if relationships are worth it, but what I mean to say is that I know I have to believe in them and try anyway, if only because that effort is a joy and is a precious reminder of my freedom and humanity. A reminder of it, and an expression of it.  "Worthwhile" is almost asking the wrong question. It could not be analyzed apart from your own desire and joy in yourself.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

A relationship is worth it if it makes your life better instead of worse. There aren't any other rules.

A person will put up with a cheating spouse if, on the whole, their life is still better with them than without them and they don't think they can do better. Just because you wouldn't put up with something doesn't mean that another person won't. Some people will put up with all kinds of abuse because they find being single so painful. Other people find other people so annoying they'd rather be single.

Does it really matter if a relationship doesn't live up to your ideals if it makes your life better? If you don't pursue that relationship, your life will be worse, won't it? Let's say that someone is willing to give you $50 every day if you give them $20. You'd be stupid not to make the trade (assuming there are no other catches). Most relationships are like this: it's worth putting up with whatever inconveniences come from the relationship, because the benefits outweigh them. If the relationship deteriorates, and the costs become greater than the benefits, people break up.

Better means some combination of more pleasure/less pain. Your life is either more pleasurable with that person or less painful (or some combination). And you anticipate the continuation of that pleasure/less pain (ie. your relationship "has a future"). Love, empathy, kindness, loyalty, etc., are just particular kinds of pleasure or the absence of particular kinds of pain (the pain of betrayal, the pain of abuse, etc.). Love, loyalty, etc., are held up as an ideal, but relationships have never depended on them.

People want to feel excitement and hope (which is just the anticipation of future excitement). If a person declines to date you, it's because they can't see how dating you would make their life better, or they can't see any kind of future with you. (You'd have to be a real masochist to date someone like me.) All that matters is whether or not you're happier in the relationship (on the whole) than you are outside of the relationship. (Anticipatory happiness plays an important role; you may feel happier temporarily to be done with the relationship, but the prospect of being alone for the rest of your life keeps you in it.)

Being attractive is an easy way to create pleasure. So is being rich. So is being interesting/exciting. "Easy" girls create excitement in young men who are surging with hormones. Bad boys do the same thing to young women. They're exciting. A person who creates no excitement (ie. pleasure) isn't worth dating even if they create no pain (ie. even if they're really, really, _really_ nice) because being nice is just the absence of pain. What's the point of dating someone who doesn't improve your life in any way, even if they don't make it worse? They're just an inconvenience. They prevent you from dating someone who could make your life better.


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## Witchblade (Jun 17, 2017)

I don't see a point to living without a partner. Maybe one day things end up going to **** and I'm left hurt and alone, but that's still better than living a life without ever having a partner. Your ideal view on relationships seems unhealthy though, giving up your individuality should not be required in a relationship.


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## LilMeRich (Jun 2, 2017)

Yes I believe they are. I've been burned by just about every romantic partner I've had or dated etc so I figure it's me. The intimacy has been a huge effort and little reward. 

Therefore imo a relationship is worth it for the company of another person who enjoys your company, understands you & respects you rather than for the lust or physical desires you get. If things get intimate then it's a nice perk.


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## Hank Scorpio (Oct 28, 2008)

Two simple facts made me get over the desire for a relationship:

Nothing lasts forever

Nothing is as good as it seems


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

truant said:


> A relationship is worth it if it makes your life better instead of worse. There aren't any other rules.


Pretty much this.

I think we all know of relationships where one person stayed despite the relationship having clearly been bad. People can sometimes come to see themselves as dependent when they really are not and that's of course not a good relationship. Some people also don't have much need for emotional intimacy and some might have disorders that make things more difficult or less enjoyable than what others experience.
But for the vast majority of people, relationships are enjoyable, rewarding and incredible when with someone who treats you well. It won't all be good and it's not the end-all-be-all, but it's definitely something I can understand people being sad and hurt for being without.


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## DustyShinigami (Jun 18, 2017)

I've never been one for fitting in or having strong relationships with others. People have let me down so much that I don't like to get too close. So I suspect that being in a relationship probably isn't for me.

On the other hand: I would like to have that special someone who loves and cares for me for who I am. I also think that having a girlfriend would not only open up new possibilities and would mix up my life a bit more, but having someone would help build up my confidence and self esteem ten-fold.


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## Winds (Apr 17, 2011)

I remember on another site awhile back, someone posted a link to a dating site in a thread and I clicked on it to check out the women in my area. While reading through profiles it became clear to me that I was fundamentally incompatible with most women outside of situations that involve casual sex and/or light conversation. To be honest that should have been a given due to my previous history, but in that moment a light came on lol. But yeah the answer for me is a no. My personality prevents it from being worth it in the end.


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

Eternal Solitude said:


> This is going to be a long rant and I know the premise of the question might seem silly ...but: are relationships even worth the time , effort, money, blood and tears?
> 
> A little background on myself: I didn't grow up in a happy home. I was constantly caught in the middle of marital disputes and often times was used as a weapon to get at the other person. So you could say that I've experienced the limits of what a man can do to hurt a woman and what a woman can do to hurt a man. I often disregarded this situation as being an exception to normality. I just happened to be born into a ****ty family.
> 
> ...


I had the same view of love as you described, until I faced the reality of being rejected for things I always assumed were superficial and then it downed to me that nobody besides me ever thinks its about true love: sure, people say that it is, but pehaps they define love in a different way than that ideal picture I have in mind? Its also funny that I come from male perspective and you come from female perspective, yet we are complaining about the same thing. So then why can't "nice guys" get along with "nice girls" then? Is it a "prisoners delemma" type of thing when neither side trusts the other one because of all the jerks around?


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## Hollo (Feb 16, 2017)

Eternal Solitude said:


> *At the moment I am trying to make sense of this part of the human experience. As my location implies I am lost in a maze of relativism.
> 
> Do we as humans over-complicate our primal sexual nature by adding metaphysical mumbo-jumbo such as : love, empathy, kindness and loyalty? When all we want is to F each other in the literal and figurative sense? This concept could be used to rationalize prostitution as well. Also if this concept is true then that would make me a deviant for being demisexual? Is there a way to treat this psychological disease?
> 
> Or perhaps metaphysical concepts such love, empathy, kindness and loyalty are real and worth fighting for?*


Sure, "love, empathy, kindness and loyalty" are relative concepts. That's not the point, though. How you feel is most important here. You took time to outline your unfortunate homelife and stages of realization you crossed while growing up...only to answer your own question: "_love is letting go of your individuality for the sake of another person._" Tennyson's popular quote "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" speaks of the need to experience the worst of love's uncertainties in order to enjoy it - and to understand what it takes to maintain it. I know this is easier said than done, but don't let fear of your parents' dysfunction bar you from living (and loving) an expectant life. As someone far wiser once told me, you build your armor throughout life to protect yourself. Unfortunately, when it comes to love, you start out naked and starry-eyed and hope for the best :b Even if it's at your own pace, you should definitely explore your demisexual nature and try to connect with people that have that need, too. You might find there are more people like you than you realize.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

The theory behind MGTOW is that that legal and romantic entanglements with women fail a cost-benefit analysis and risk-benefit analysis. I think that is definitely true when a guy gets older. Or when a guy is not desirable - like an engineer with SA.


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## uziq (Apr 9, 2012)

i'm not sure. i don't think there's a good answer for this. i'll say that you can't really otherwise get the exchange of hormones that you would get from having an intimate relationship.


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## uziq (Apr 9, 2012)

Eternal Solitude said:


> *At the moment I am trying to make sense of this part of the human experience. As my location implies I am lost in a maze of relativism.
> 
> Do we as humans over-complicate our primal sexual nature by adding metaphysical mumbo-jumbo such as : love, empathy, kindness and loyalty? When all we want is to F each other in the literal and figurative sense? This concept could be used to rationalize prostitution as well. Also if this concept is true then that would make me a deviant for being demisexual? Is there a way to treat this psychological disease?
> 
> ...


love isn't metaphysical mumbo jumbo, lol. it's a word that describes a state of being. and no we are not over complicating anything, we are evolving. empathy, kindness and loyalty are facets of more primal emotions which are becoming more defined as we evolve alongside our increasingly social and connected environment. i don't think humans just want to **** each other. i sure don't. i want deep connections and to feel loved and secure, which won't come from sex


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

scarpia said:


> Or when a guy is not desirable - like an engineer with SA


Okay then.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

With the right person it's pretty incredible.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Okay then.


My father didn't even have SA. But he was an engineer. And you should have seen the piece of crap wife he ended up with - a psycho alcoholic semi-pedo. I know it's a bummer - but there's always hookers and kittens and puppies.


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## Shiroihikari (Jul 20, 2012)

Well... Maybe my opinion is invalid, as I have never been in a relationship (unless you count family/friends/colleagues/etc). But, I would say yes, simply because chances are if you're able to read this you live in a country with a decent healthcare system and can expect a good chance to live until 60+ years of age.

I have my parents with me now, but I know that someday they will die; most of my family will die before me too. Without new children and new relationships, my family will die out. That would leave me very lonely during the latter years of my life. I'd like to have someone walk down the road with me, for all of the compromises and inconveniences that may bring. It's a trust that they will support me and accept my weaknesses just as I do the same for them. I think it would also give me purpose knowing that I could help my children with obstacles in their own lives by offering support and advice, and if I'm lucky enough maybe even see grandchildren. None of this is possible if I don't establish a stable, loving relationship while I am still blessed with (relative!) youth.

I agree, there are plenty of ways relationships can turn out badly. I suspect that, when this does occur, it's more to do with incompatibilities of the people involved or having unrealistic expectations of what the relationship will involve, rather than a sign that relationships are altogether not worth it. But perhaps it's even worse being alone... It's hard to say; as I wrote before I have no experience and I am fortunate enough that my parents are still alive, so I have yet to know that kind of isolation.

I once read an interesting article covering what terminally ill people said near the end of their lives. Apparently, the most common regret was that they never pursued a relationship with someone they had feelings for.


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## Tetragammon (Jun 2, 2015)

Unfortunately the answer depends entirely on the individual. 

For me, personally? No, relationships are not worth it. They're too much hassle for little to no gain. I'm a loner; I feel much happier on my own the majority of the time. I hate that I even get the 'romantic urge' sometimes because my life would be so much easier without it. I think that "true love" is exceedingly rare, to the point that most people will never experience it. Yet so many desperately try to find it, and that seems like such a futile effort from my perspective. 

But then I think I'm the exact opposite of you. I'm bitter and jaded and I know it; I don't trust anyone, ever, period. I'm hyper-sexual and totally fine with that; I'd love to find a "friend with benefits" and never have to deal with any of the "deep emotional" bull**** that everyone seems to be so hyped up over these days. Love and sex are completely different and separate concepts in my view. And I have exactly zero interest in marriage or kids. So in my opinion, yes, humans just love to over-complicate mating and the propagation of our species with superfluous ideals that sound great in fiction but have no bearing on real life.


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## Mlt18 (Jun 29, 2016)

I guess it can be. Like if someone is broke, they will have lots to gain by getting with a rich person. When it comes to emotional stuff I don't think it's worth it.

Sent from my SM-J700P using Tapatalk


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

> Despite of my problems at home, as a child I had an idealized concept of romantic relationships as being a very strong loving friendship between two individuals that involved physical affection . And that the love shared between those two individuals would culminate in perfect synergy and synchronicity thus becoming one. A single entity comprised of two people. For the better or for the worse, in health and in sickness, in life and in death.


I developed a very similar idealistic desire, though I think retaining some individualism is also important

And I've seen a lot of unhealthy relationships. Even when they're not abusive, there's just various issues, people not liking one another even. My parents relationship was actually frustratingly bad and ****ed up in a kind of special way I never really saw in others. They just basically never communicated and my dad never should have gotten into a relationship. He had/has a lot of issues.

So I'm cynical. It's probably a good job I have other issues to work on and that the people I'm attracted to aren't attracted to me all things considered.


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## neranzula (Jul 9, 2017)

Mine doesn't. I have yet to understand why it is still ongoing, and what is it that I need to experience to just leave. 

My boyfriend (5 years together), cheated, lied, and when that was over, he just acts so selfish, and distant, but all the time saying he loves me. I feel so dead inside, like the world is really confusing, and I have no idea what to do ..


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## Moxi (Nov 24, 2015)

Love isn't worthless, but it is complicated. Not everything can or will be very deep and meaningful, even if positive. A lot of the times, crushes are going to be one-way and it's hard to predict whether those early feelings will be reciprocated at all.

A lot of relationships aren't worth the time, probably. If all they do is stress you out and hurt you, or they're never there for you, or they're too scared of conflict to help you with it, better to get a vibrator and some Netflix.

Survived without for years, can continue to survive without.


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## Arbre (Mar 9, 2014)

AussiePea said:


> With the right person it's pretty incredible.


This.


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## thetown (Aug 16, 2014)

If you have a good life (stable job, some friends, not depressed,...) and you are willing to improve your life, then entering a relationship could bring more happiness into your life. The problem I see is that some people think that being in a relationship would automatically solve all of their problems. This is not true. I have seen so many couple break up because they just weren't ready to enter a serious relationship.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Absolutely(*with the right person for you*). You have to be willing to work on yourself as well as on the relationship, though. That will make you get to know yourself better through another persons eyes, and vice versa, and bring you closer to each other. Relationships keep evolving over time. It's pretty interesting to experience, actually. It can be difficult at times too, of course c:


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

Tetragammon said:


> Unfortunately the answer depends entirely on the individual.
> 
> For me, personally? No, relationships are not worth it. They're too much hassle for little to no gain. I'm a loner; I feel much happier on my own the majority of the time. I hate that I even get the 'romantic urge' sometimes because my life would be so much easier without it. I think that "true love" is exceedingly rare, to the point that most people will never experience it. Yet so many desperately try to find it, and that seems like such a futile effort from my perspective.
> 
> But then I think I'm the exact opposite of you. I'm bitter and jaded and I know it; I don't trust anyone, ever, period. I'm hyper-sexual and totally fine with that; I'd love to find a "friend with benefits" and never have to deal with any of the "deep emotional" bull**** that everyone seems to be so hyped up over these days. Love and sex are completely different and separate concepts in my view. And I have exactly zero interest in marriage or kids. So in my opinion, yes, humans just love to over-complicate mating and the propagation of our species with superfluous ideals that sound great in fiction but have no bearing on real life.


Every time you post, you seem like a hyper-jaded future version of myself lol


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

To me it's completely nonsensical and obvious. ( I didn't read the OP's post right through though or the long ones - I have a lot of trouble with that sometimes)

But relationships are the only thing really worth anything in our lives - both romantic and otherwise. What on earth else is there? To me it's pretty obvious why so many of us on here are unhappy - to varying degrees of course.

There's nothing much else to say.


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## Tetragammon (Jun 2, 2015)

novalax said:


> Every time you post, you seem like a hyper-jaded future version of myself lol


Thanks?


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## XxOmegaBlackxX (Jul 20, 2017)

Humans are biologically hard-wired for companionship. It's going against science.

Would be like trying to say you are refusing to use food or water to sustain yourself and you are going to make a decision in your life to begin using oil/WD-40.

Males and female fit together like legos. I feel like most of our issues or conflicts actually comes the artificial societal conditioning when undergo from birth to kids and teens and so-forth into adulthood, which by then is full blown insanity.


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## Neal (Jan 14, 2012)

No they aren't. Not really.


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

Tetragammon said:


> Thanks?


Some people wouldn't take that as a compliment lol I'd think it is, but I'm biased.


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## cinto (Jun 19, 2017)

Not worth it to me. Seems just another thing to add to the list of things we think we need.

Sure a meaningful relationship seems worth it, but what part about 'trying to find the meaningful relationship' is worth it

You also risk losing bits of your identity by falling into the hands of the wrong people. As per what seemed to have happened to my friend.


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## MCHB (Jan 1, 2013)

They have perks but for me I'd have to say nope...just nope!


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## andy0128 (Dec 19, 2003)

I've never had a relationship where in hindsight i regretted ever becoming familiar with that person.


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## Aloserfrom1987 (Jul 26, 2017)

For someone who is over 30 and never had any girls like me, I want to convince myself absolutely that relationships are not worth it, to keep my sanity.

If I have the feeling that relationships are wondering and awesome and I am missing out on a crucial human experience, I will have to kill myself.

I have to force myself to believe that love, sex, intimacy, relationships, etc. aren't that great, downplay their benefits as much as possible as a coping mechanism.


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## SparklingWater (Jan 16, 2013)

Absolutely. Just cause things are difficult atm, doesn't mean write it off. It means work until you're able to have it. Relationships matter. Not even romantic necessarily just quality ones in every area of your ife.


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## JH1983 (Nov 14, 2013)

Yes. They're hard and often end badly, but the good times are worth it and there's always the chance it'll be the one that works out.


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