# Someone who helped you/tried to help you with your sa



## lilly (Mar 22, 2006)

I can always remember someone who tried to encourage me to overcome my fear of speaking up in the staff-room at tea-time. I was working in a library with a number of overpowering personalities and could never seem to join in on conversations.
One day a friend said to me after yet another failed attempt at speaking up "just keep trying". These are simple words and ones that I keep forgetting. If I can remember this when I'm at the next social thing I don't want to be at at least I may not give up again. It is easy to lapse into thinking if it didn't work the first time you may as well give up.


----------



## Violette (Aug 21, 2005)

I've had a few therapists who've tried to help me, and one sort-of friend. But l've always found it hard to open up about my sa, l'm ashamed of it. It's all locked inside.


----------



## Szattam (Nov 11, 2003)

I know what you mean, it's the little things that help... 

I have this one friend who is extremely outgoing, inspiringly confident, succeeds and excels at anything he tries, yet he's never too cool for anyone. If someone shows signs of self doubt he's right there to support and encourage them. His attitude towards life alone has helped me so much. There are also a few other good friends around me who are very therapeutic.. and a certain gal I met here on SAS who doesn't even know how much she's helped me just by being a good, honest friend. Thanks princess :kiss


----------



## RaveOn (Feb 5, 2006)

I met a fellow SA sufferer online a few weeks back.

We both come from very different backgrounds, have different personalities and a 14 year age difference. Despite all of these factors things have really clicked between us. She is very experienced and knowledgable with regards to SAD. I am new to all of this so her insights and advice have been tremendously helpful for me.

I feel I have made a very good friend. Someone who can offer encouragement and support.


----------



## On the way (Feb 9, 2006)

Plenty of people have tried to help over the years, and I'm very grateful to them -- more than they'll ever know. 

The one example that springs to mind is a man I admire saying to me, "The more I get to know you, the more I like you." It's hard to describe, but that statement really touched my heart, and although it's been many years ago, I still remember it. 

There are some good people in the world.


----------



## umbrellagirl1980 (Dec 28, 2005)

my 4th grade teacher a long time ago. she was always especially sensitive to my shyness, encouraging in a non-threatening way. she had a banner up on the wall in the classroom that read 'dare to be imperfect'. she took it down and gave it to me on the last day of school, it was really sweet of her. i wish i still had it, i don't know what happened to it.


----------



## Guest (Apr 5, 2006)

Most importantly, my cousin Joel who took me out to party with his friends when I didn't want to and gave me so much confidence on those nights out when I was 16. He'd approach people for convos with the upmost ease and talk about me to others like I was the greatest person in the world. He taught me so much about how to socialize and I'm forever grateful.


----------



## Nyx (Nov 17, 2003)

Szattam said:


> I know what you mean, it's the little things that help...
> 
> I have this one friend who is extremely outgoing, inspiringly confident, succeeds and excels at anything he tries, yet he's never too cool for anyone. If someone shows signs of self doubt he's right there to support and encourage them. His attitude towards life alone has helped me so much. There are also a few other good friends around me who are very therapeutic.. and a certain gal I met here on SAS who doesn't even know how much she's helped me just by being a good, honest friend. Thanks princess :kiss


:dito :kiss


----------



## tired_tool (Sep 6, 2005)

Not as such. I talked to someone long ago about my lack of confidence (as I thought it was, at that time). Recently I whined and whined to a close friend Both told me how I always underestimated myself.


----------



## Shadowed (Apr 5, 2006)

I remember a classmate two years ago who was going through depression too. She made so many efforts to include me in social situations. Always asking me to go hiking with her, meeting her friends, talking about depression, etc. At the time, I was suspicious of her motives because I was so depressed and paranoid that everyone could see through me like transparent glass. I didn't want to open my heart to her at first, but her persistence really paid off. To this day, I remember how kind she was and how good her intentions were. She truly cared about me, and maybe it helped because I knew she was going through the blues too.


----------



## On the way (Feb 9, 2006)

Szattam said:


> LittleZion said:
> 
> 
> > a man I admire saying to me, "The more I get to know you, the more I like you." It's hard to describe, but that statement really touched my heart
> ...


Since my SA originated in relation to my father and male peers, the comment (which came from an older man in a position of authority) made even more of an impact. I figure that, if the positive stroke comes someone in the class of people with whom you have the most problems, it can really make an impact.


----------



## shyguydan (Dec 30, 2004)

I am grateful that I have had lots of support from my immediate family, my closest cousins and aunt and uncle, and some close friends, they have encouraged & included me in alot of activities, like going out to movies, and hiking, getting back into sports, I also believe that alot of people on this board have been really supportive also, its like a huge family here :group


----------



## myshell (Apr 17, 2006)

Violette something really important on this thread that helped me with getting better about feeling so ashamed and that it's all locked inside. I can really relate to those feelings and fears. I made a decision to take the risk and expose my shame and embarrassment and release what is locked inside. It's still a process I have to work on every day to be my true self. So the people who have helped me are like jewels because I've exposed my fears to them and mostly people don't run away unless they are fearful and misunderstand and that is not our issue. I have just a few special people who know and have told everything about SA to. It makes me cry with relief and love to think of them. I let them see the locked away parts of myself and they treat that experience like a gift I gave them. We live in fear of fear so much, and shame is a huge part of SA and keeps it running in my opinion. It's good to face those things as it's all too easy to feel ashamed of feeling shame and our SA grows.


----------

