# Why do some people rather ignore you?



## VeMuñeca (Sep 5, 2013)

Why do some people rather ignore you and disappear from your life instead of telling you why? I've had several experiences with friends where they would start ignoring me for no reason. I remember I got mad at one of my friends for something that was their fault and eventually I got over it and forgave them, but they ignored me afterwards. Has anyone else ever had this experience and has the person ever come back?


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## meandernorth (Nov 12, 2014)

Sometimes people are non-confrontational and just separate. Other times, pride or ego get involved. As to whether they come back, I think it depends on the person, circumstances, and time. Maybe they won't come back immediately but things can change later on.


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## VeMuñeca (Sep 5, 2013)

shorefog said:


> Sometimes people are non-confrontational and just separate. Other times, pride or ego get involved. As to whether they come back, I think it depends on the person, circumstances, and time. Maybe they won't come back immediately but things can change later on.


This is true. I believe maturity has a major role in this. Personally, when someone upsets me I get over it through talking out the problem. I noticed that whenever I was not able to talk out the problem I grow angrier at the person. I try not to, but I do.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Um that's how literally every relationship ends. One person just ignores the other. It's insane. People are soo annoying.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Doby said:


> Why do some people rather ignore you and disappear from your life instead of telling you why? I've had several experiences with friends where they would start ignoring me for no reason. I remember I got mad at one of my friends for something that was their fault and eventually I got over it and forgave them, but they ignored me afterwards. Has anyone else ever had this experience and has the person ever come back?


People are weird.
I have had people completely stop talking to me for no reason. It happens.


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## BackToThePast (Aug 31, 2012)

It's more convenient. They feel that by letting the friendship drift apart they don't owe an explanation. I created a poll on this subject and the vast majority of people here thought it would be weird to end a friendship by ... talking about it. Then again, there might not be a rational reason, it could be simply due to anxiety.


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## VeMuñeca (Sep 5, 2013)

I answered the poll. 

It's interesting reading what everyone else thinks. I know anxiety can be hard to overcome, but I rather be honest than be seen as a coward.  Then again, it is also in my personality to express my feelings about something be it harsh or good. I've only had to be that way towards two people fortunately. Usually my disturbing nature pushes people away anyhow. :blank


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## BackToThePast (Aug 31, 2012)

Doby said:


> I answered the poll.
> 
> It's interesting reading what everyone else thinks. I know anxiety can be hard to overcome, but I rather be honest than be seen as a coward.  Then again, it is also in my personality to express my feelings about something be it harsh or good. I've only had to be that way towards two people fortunately. Usually my disturbing nature pushes people away anyhow. :blank


Yeah I know what you mean. If things start going downhill in a friendship I feel that I owe them at least an explanation, even more so when I'm comfortable being around them (I'd feel like a coward otherwise). There were a few instances though where I couldn't bring myself to do it, mainly because I thought the friend was in a mentally fragile state and I didn't want to push them in any particular direction with my emotionally charged words. That's one example where I felt it was better to let things slowly fizzle away.


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## VeMuñeca (Sep 5, 2013)

waerdd said:


> Yeah I know what you mean. If things start going downhill in a friendship I feel that I owe them at least an explanation, even more so when I'm comfortable being around them (I'd feel like a coward otherwise). There were a few instances though where I couldn't bring myself to do it, mainly because I thought the friend was in a mentally fragile state and I didn't want to push them in any particular direction with my emotionally charged words. That's one example where I felt it was better to let things slowly fizzle away.


I think the way you put it makes so much sense though. You were scared of making the person feel worse so you simply faded. Being honest and fading can both be either good or bad.


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## meema (Mar 4, 2015)

Like mentioned, people are too scared to tell someone about ending the friendship so they ignore you until you figure it out that they no longer want to speak to you or be friends with you. I know the feeling, as it has been the outcome of most of my friendships sadly.

I would like for the person to say something, even if it makes me end up crying of the entire day. I'd get over it and move on.


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## neukreuz (Oct 16, 2014)

Here's the brutal but honest truth: they have better things to do than communicate with people like us.


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## BackToThePast (Aug 31, 2012)

Doby said:


> I think the way you put it makes so much sense though. You were scared of making the person feel worse so you simply faded. Being honest and fading can both be either good or bad.


Yep, it's like the old adage. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say it. Or more specifically, if you don't have anything nice to say at all, better to say nothing and avoid a lot of stupid drama.


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## facelessvoid (Mar 17, 2015)

My friends no longer contact me. I know a lot of that is my fault too. I always rejected their invitations. Eventually they stopped contacting me all together and I haven't talked to them in months.

Although I suppose if I try to talk to them now they would be accepting but I would feel pretty weird about it.


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## Nothing123 (Oct 3, 2014)

I dno why, but i pretty much (once ive decided to no longer be friends with someone) i either tell them directly, or i stongly hint it the last time i see them. I dno.. i mean, ive had friendships fade, but its not cos i made it fade, its cos they stopped replying to me, or were annoying and i didnt want to be around them, so i let them fade from me... however.. it does annoy me to no end when u try texting or calling a friend, and they just dnt reply at all. I would rather them just tell me nicely they dnt wanna be friends with me anymore (with or without a reason) i dno why, but i think maybe cos its a type of closure?

Oh, and i did have ONE friend who tried coming back, after like... 1.5 years??
By then it was too late and i had given up on her. She was my best friend too.

She, and my father , are the reason im so ****ed up and dont care about anybody else [like i used to.] Honestly.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

I don't care anymore. I understand why they don't.


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## VeMuñeca (Sep 5, 2013)

Bunnymoo7 said:


> I dno why, but i pretty much (once ive decided to no longer be friends with someone) i either tell them directly, or i stongly hint it the last time i see them. I dno.. i mean, ive had friendships fade, but its not cos i made it fade, its cos they stopped replying to me, or were annoying and i didnt want to be around them, so i let them fade from me... however.. it does annoy me to no end when u try texting or calling a friend, and they just dnt reply at all. I would rather them just tell me nicely they dnt wanna be friends with me anymore (with or without a reason) i dno why, but i think maybe cos its a type of closure?
> 
> Oh, and i did have ONE friend who tried coming back, after like... 1.5 years??
> By then it was too late and i had given up on her. She was my best friend too.
> ...


I'm sorry. You have every right to feel the way you do. Some people just suck.

Some people say to not take it personal, but how are we not supposed to? Each time someone ignores me with no explanation I feel rejected, hurt, and, sadly, reinforces the opinion that I have that tell me friendships don't exist. I've been trying to alter this opinion of mine, but it is so hard when people do things like this.

After 1.5 years? Did she have a reasonable excuse?


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## SunshineSam218 (Dec 6, 2013)

I've had it happen to me before and I have no idea why it happens. I guess they find me boring or just rather not talk to me anymore. I usually continue to talk to the person and I only stop talking to the person for a serious reason. There was this one person I stopped talking too cause they were simply toxic, that was the reason why I stopped talking to them. I needed to get away from that.


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## shnbwmn (Jul 13, 2012)

Well, to be honest, don't we do the same thing? People reach out to us or invite us to places, and we crawl back into our shells and avoid them. The difference is that they have a valid reason for ignoring us ... like neukreuz said.



neukreuz said:


> Here's the brutal but honest truth: they have better things to do than communicate with people like us.


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## andy0128 (Dec 19, 2003)

They obviously don't feel a close connection to you or have moved on and found other people to be friends with. Friendships drift apart. There are loads of people that i've drifted away from either by my own or their choosing or mutually.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

People have faded from me like this without an explanation my entire life and I have admittedly done the same to a few. Recently a girl did this to me and it hurt, I ran out of tears long ago but it did bother me to cause me many sleepless nights. I tried so hard to push myself to get out of my comfort zone and try to connect with someone and they didn't like me. Part of me wants to confront her and ask what I did wrong but the other half says to let it be, wouldn't make a difference regardless.

How do I learn to brush myself off and trust new people like that again?


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## VeMuñeca (Sep 5, 2013)

Malek said:


> People have faded from me like this without an explanation my entire life and I have admittedly done the same to a few. Recently a girl did this to me and it hurt, I ran out of tears long ago but it did bother me to cause me many sleepless nights. I tried so hard to push myself to get out of my comfort zone and try to connect with someone and they didn't like me. Part of me wants to confront her and ask what I did wrong but the other half says to let it be, wouldn't make a difference regardless.
> 
> How do I learn to brush myself off and trust new people like that again?


The hard part is you probably won't trust people again. It is understandable why too. You'll probably still talk to people, but keep them at arms length.

Usually when this happens to those people who ignored me they end up feeling hurt too, so I wonder if they look back at the people they did the same to?

After I've been so badly hurt in the past, I'm still the same person, but I refuse to get close to anyone now. It is for the better.


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## EphemeraI (Mar 23, 2015)

I have completely stopped being friends with some people before. There was this group of friends who were always arguing and then I came along and hung out with them for about two years and got to know them all pretty close but something changed... I can't really to this day say what went wrong but everyone suddenly stopped hanging out and I did as well. I miss some of those guys.


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