# Got rejected by a woman I liked--feels great!



## redstar312 (Jun 2, 2012)

Recently at work I found my self developing an attraction to a coworker of mine. Eventually I mustered up the courage to ask her to go for coffee with me after work. She agreed, and we had a nice chat that lasted for three and a half hours. I felt there was a real connection made. At the end she gave me her number and we agreed to see each other more outside work, though we laid no firm plans. At this point I felt strongly attracted to her, and I'd developed what at a younger age I might've called a crush on her. I couldn't stop thinking about her.

About a week later I asked her out again, but this time for an actual date. She said she would think about it and later declined, saying she was busy. I decided to try again a couple weeks later, but got another polite non-rejection rejection. A couple of weeks after that I gave it one more try, following the three-strikes rule, but again she politely informed me she was too busy. During this period I kept our interactions at work as professional as possible, resisting the urge to spend any excessive amounts of time around her while on the clock, as I was conscious of the possibility of harassment accusations if attentions were taken the wrong way. But after the third time I accepted that she was no probably no longer interested in me, if she ever was, and I stopped paying attention to her. 

Given my anxiety issues I would've expected her rejection of me to devastate me, but it doesn't. I don't feel sad or upset or angry at all. I just got on with my life. We still work together, of course, but there's no awkwardness between us. That's the triumph, that I've somehow gained the ability to take rejection. I feel like a better person for it. It feels like a major victory in my efforts to become a better person.

Sorry for the long post, I just had to share! Thanks if you read it all.


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## TrcyMcgrdy1 (Oct 21, 2011)

Nice, going through that the first time and realizing it isn't so bad is the key to unlocking the world of womena nd dating!!! Now, knowing how miniscule the rejection of one woman is, you can focus on meeting more and asking them out. Just what women expect men to do! Any woman who would make you feel terrible and ridicule you is the one that is ****ed up. Glad you got that out of the way and glad it didn't devastate you! Keep on goin at it and you'll snag a keeper soon!!!!


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## Jesus of Suburbia (Jan 12, 2013)

Yes Mate! Glad to hear someone who's not getting bogged down by it!


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## identitycrisis (Sep 18, 2011)

Dealing with rejection is something I still struggle with all the time, I'm glad to hear you're dealing with it positively  Gives the rest of us hope for the future!


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## meedo (Oct 4, 2011)

redstar312 said:


> Recently at work I found my self developing an attraction to a coworker of mine. Eventually I mustered up the courage to ask her to go for coffee with me after work. She agreed, and we had a nice chat that lasted for three and a half hours. I felt there was a real connection made. At the end she gave me her number and we agreed to see each other more outside work, though we laid no firm plans. At this point I felt strongly attracted to her, and I'd developed what at a younger age I might've called a crush on her. I couldn't stop thinking about her.
> 
> About a week later I asked her out again, but this time for an actual date. She said she would think about it and later declined, saying she was busy. I decided to try again a couple weeks later, but got another polite non-rejection rejection. A couple of weeks after that I gave it one more try, following the three-strikes rule, but again she politely informed me she was too busy. During this period I kept our interactions at work as professional as possible, resisting the urge to spend any excessive amounts of time around her while on the clock, as I was conscious of the possibility of harassment accusations if attentions were taken the wrong way. But after the third time I accepted that she was no probably no longer interested in me, if she ever was, and I stopped paying attention to her.
> 
> ...


Dude .. you are plain awesome!! Welldone!! The agreement to go with you on a date is a numbers game.. but as far as anxiety is concerned.. you beaten it!!


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## WhoDey85 (Sep 6, 2006)

Nice man! If you keep this up you won't have SA much longer, if you still do.


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## da kewliest (Jan 22, 2013)

good for you buddy!!!!! way to get the **** out there. you may not have gotten the response you wanted but **** it you went for it, check out the cojones on ts lol


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## SandyInfinity (Feb 7, 2013)

hmm i want to learn to reject politely 
also need to ask someone out to be rjected, i know i will be rejected but if im not, i dont want a relationship, i guess i'll say i was just kidding


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## shyshisho (Apr 19, 2009)

Great job. I still cringe thinking about rejections I received twenty years ago so the fact that you could shrug it off is nice.


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## intothewest (Feb 17, 2013)

That is awesome, Redstar!


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## Donnie in the Dark (Mar 15, 2011)

Great work. I think that is what so many of us on here need, to be able to experience our feared rejection and see that it really isn't the end of the world.
Better to try and fail then have that feeling of "why did I never take the chance?".....
(I'm a hypocrite for saying that but I am working up to it I swear!)


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## kuhan1923 (Oct 28, 2012)

damn man u got balls lol


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## peach123 (Dec 13, 2010)

redstar312 said:


> Recently at work I found my self developing an attraction to a coworker of mine. Eventually I mustered up the courage to ask her to go for coffee with me after work. She agreed, and we had a nice chat that lasted for three and a half hours. I felt there was a real connection made. At the end she gave me her number and we agreed to see each other more outside work, though we laid no firm plans. At this point I felt strongly attracted to her, and I'd developed what at a younger age I might've called a crush on her. I couldn't stop thinking about her.
> 
> About a week later I asked her out again, but this time for an actual date. She said she would think about it and later declined, saying she was busy. I decided to try again a couple weeks later, but got another polite non-rejection rejection. A couple of weeks after that I gave it one more try, following the three-strikes rule, but again she politely informed me she was too busy. During this period I kept our interactions at work as professional as possible, resisting the urge to spend any excessive amounts of time around her while on the clock, as I was conscious of the possibility of harassment accusations if attentions were taken the wrong way. But after the third time I accepted that she was no probably no longer interested in me, if she ever was, and I stopped paying attention to her.
> 
> ...


Congratulations Redstar!!!!! You have definitely triumphed over social anxiety, you will meet someone better who wants to be with you and will welcome your attentions, go find her and good luck!!!!


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## Millais (Mar 15, 2012)

redstar312 said:


> Recently at work I found my self developing an attraction to a coworker of mine. Eventually I mustered up the courage to ask her to go for coffee with me after work. She agreed, and we had a nice chat that lasted for three and a half hours. I felt there was a real connection made. At the end she gave me her number and we agreed to see each other more outside work, though we laid no firm plans. At this point I felt strongly attracted to her, and I'd developed what at a younger age I might've called a crush on her. I couldn't stop thinking about her.
> 
> About a week later I asked her out again, but this time for an actual date. She said she would think about it and later declined, saying she was busy. I decided to try again a couple weeks later, but got another polite non-rejection rejection. A couple of weeks after that I gave it one more try, following the three-strikes rule, but again she politely informed me she was too busy. During this period I kept our interactions at work as professional as possible, resisting the urge to spend any excessive amounts of time around her while on the clock, as I was conscious of the possibility of harassment accusations if attentions were taken the wrong way. But after the third time I accepted that she was no probably no longer interested in me, if she ever was, and I stopped paying attention to her.
> 
> ...


This is a really positive post. Good for you! I suppose now you know how it feels you won't worry about being rejected again. Hopefully you will find someone you like who likes you. That's the trick isn't it?


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## PurrPanther (Nov 16, 2012)

Hey that's great. Life is filled up with failure and rejection and it's how we deal with it that makes us stronger. If she rejected you it was for a reason...who knows maybe if she would have agreed the relation ship would have been **** so it was most likely a good thing it didn't work out. 

So good job and good luck


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## Apollo (Sep 18, 2011)

You handled it masterfully, good job!


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## IdontMind (Dec 31, 2011)

Good on you man


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