# Do you have gaming friendships?



## Gwynevere (Oct 6, 2013)

I was wondering how many people have internet only friends through gaming, such as the obvious being a guild in an MMO that you play with all the time and end up becoming friends with.

How do you deal with the drama that comes up in those types of things? Guild destroying drama, I swear it's like highschool in a gaming group like that. 

Also do you have anxiety with your online gaming buddies? Do you ever get jealous that some members become really good friends with each other while they're not that great friends with you because you're usually scared to speak too much during chats?

Also how much do you share about your real world life with them? What about the rest of your internet life? Do you keep your worlds separated or do your gaming friends know you're here?


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## Wirt (Jan 16, 2009)

i used to from like high school to 19-20 years old

even went to one of their houses to play with him and like 3 other people. was fun

but yea, id say SA has kept me from doing that after that group went their separate ways in life.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

I used to back when I played Starcraft for years on end. Oddly enough, since my social skills were so bad, and I was actually good at this game, I made most of my friends in highschool, in person from "gaming friendships".


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## persona non grata (Jul 13, 2011)

Funny, I got all nostalgic from another thread and saw this.

Urban Dead. Text based browser game where I was in a really tight knit group that was really held together more by personal loyalty to the other members than by the game itself, which really wasn't terribly interesting. I mean, it had value, but thousands of people played it for years which blindsided the poor dude who programmed it (Kevan Davis, may he live forever). 

I know the real names of some of the members of my group, which is because they wanted people to add them on Facebook. I didn't though, and they don't know mine. Some would describe their real world life. I shared details of mine, but not my real name, and not other online accounts.


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## Fat Man (Nov 28, 2013)

Over the years I've belonged to many different clans and chat room places like xat. Honestly, I miss those days, life was actually enjoyable back then. I met so many great friends. I've last contact with the friends I've made back when I was around 15 and 16. 


Just last year around this time I joined this Xat group for Animal Crossing: New Leaf. I made so many awesome friends their, however my SA got the best of me and I eventually left and never returned( I was afraid to and still am). I still keep in contact with some friends their but we rarely talk, and when we do it's usually brief and they always ask me to come back. It's heart breaking


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## T Studdly (Jul 20, 2013)

I have one from the UK. We would always do co-op in everything

Haven't heard from him in awhile, I wonder what he's up to.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

I kind of did for a while back when I was interested in gaming. I had a couple of friends who would come over and we'd play Xbox games. I really lost interest in gaming pretty quickly though. I don't get into fantasy stuff very easily.


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## Steinerz (Jul 15, 2013)

Noca said:


> I used to back when I played Starcraft for years on end. Oddly enough, since my social skills were so bad, and I was actually good at this game, I made most of my friends in highschool, in person from "gaming friendships".


Same here hah.


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## Marko3 (Mar 18, 2014)

back in the days i was in that xbox live group.. around 10 of us... we would play NHL live all the time... i felt as team member of a club... talked about everything and jokin.. having fun... those were the days... now i dont have xbox live anymore..


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## Pul5ar (Feb 15, 2012)

I used to have a couple of friends online. One was from the UK like me, and we used to play Soldier of Fortune 2 deathmatch together. The other was from the Netherlands and we used to play Quake 3 Arena.
Other than that I had a friend that used to live next door. We ran an ethernet cable between the houses and played various games like Unreal Tournament 99 and Diablo 2. We spent many many hours on Diablo 2.


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## Zyriel (May 20, 2011)

Some of my best friends I probably made in games. Never met them in real life, but we've played together hours on end, in Raids or PvP building trust. Some I share more personal things with, if it is a mutual trust thing, etc. Honestly, I got closer to online friends than real ones. I guess through intellectual stimulation, sharing of ideas, thoughts, strategies and such. Things that most conversations and friendships in real life don't consist of lol as well as accomplishing mutual goals together.


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## Tomyx (Jun 27, 2013)

I've had people I know online, but never made any actual friends. Been in several guilds too. For the most part, the online aspect made me keep the distance. There's no real potential for a relationship at long distance.


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## Kind Of (Jun 11, 2014)

I've always done it the other way around and played games with people I knew outside of the game. Not having to pair off with random people was probably the only reason I played LoL for any length of time in the first place.


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## lmao (Feb 20, 2012)

Nope, I don't have any friends. It's my fault though since I don't really try to make any.


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## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

when I was addicted to online gaming I had a fair few but now my life is to busy and cant game as much so lost all my friends online and in real life


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## Tomyx (Jun 27, 2013)

Kind Of said:


> I've always done it the other way around and played games with people I knew outside of the game. Not having to pair off with random people was probably the only reason I played LoL for any length of time in the first place.


I'm sort of torn playing with people I know on League or DOTA 2. I get pretty pissed sometimes. But most of the anger comes from idiots who are terrible at the game, don't speak English except to type "noob team!", and are basically infuriating in all ways and make you want to lose just so they will go nuts.  But if I played with 4 friends, at least there would be no morons on my team, as long as my friend making policies are sound.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

No I don't have any, I don't really play multiplayer games and when I did I'd often avoid other players except where necessary. Superficial short term interactions, just like real life.



Zyriel said:


> Some of my best friends I probably made in games. Never met them in real life, but we've played together hours on end, in Raids or PvP building trust. Some I share more personal things with, if it is a mutual trust thing, etc. Honestly, I got closer to online friends than real ones. I guess through intellectual stimulation, sharing of ideas, thoughts, strategies and such. Things that most conversations and friendships in real life don't consist of lol as well as accomplishing mutual goals together.


It's you! XD

lol sorry that sounds rude, not seen you post in ages


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## Kind Of (Jun 11, 2014)

Tomyx said:


> I'm sort of torn playing with people I know on League or DOTA 2. I get pretty pissed sometimes. But most of the anger comes from idiots who are terrible at the game, don't speak English except to type "noob team!", and are basically infuriating in all ways and make you want to lose just so they will go nuts.  But if I played with 4 friends, at least there would be no morons on my team, as long as my friend making policies are sound.


I just want to be able to focus on playing, personally. When you're with randoms, chances are people are going to struggle to work together and the best aspects of a team-oriented strategy game will suffer. I could live with the language barriers and trash talking if not for the pissing matches and fingers in the ears.


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## Tomyx (Jun 27, 2013)

What I like to do is usually ability draft on DOTA 2. I guess randoms are pointless if you ever want to play perfectly, but I always shoot for the build that can just murder towers ASAP. So I take advantage of when the randoms on the other team all gang up on one lane for no apparent reason. It's too bad ability draft is just a casual type thing, it's a lot more fun to me.


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## Aribeth (Jan 14, 2012)

Gwynevere said:


> I was wondering how many people have internet only friends through gaming, such as the obvious being a guild in an MMO that you play with all the time and end up becoming friends with.


I had a lot, probably 20-30+ in total. But I've lost most of them. Only a couple of guys are left; I've known them for like 8-9 years :um They're probably my best friends.
(I haven't made new ones in ages because I don't play online games anymore.)


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## Gwynevere (Oct 6, 2013)

Updated to add a poll


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## Raynic781 (Feb 8, 2013)

Before I got on this forum, I was on a gaming forum. There weren't a lot of active members, but I never really played with any of them online. I did develop friendships with a lot of them though. Too bad that site is gone now.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

Don't really play multiplayer... too poor, too lazy, too afraid, too whatever.

Chances are I wouldn't find anyone. I never did when I did play games like Starcraft.


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## Fat Man (Nov 28, 2013)

Eggshell said:


> I never really had any. I think this is more of a thing on PC because PC games usually have much better online. The only online multiplayer PC game that I have put time into was Diablo 2 back in 2004-2005. I always played that with random people.
> 
> I like the group of Wii U owners here on SAS. Growing up I always had a bunch of real life friends where we would get together almost every weekend and play games like Mario Kart, Smash Bros. or Mario Party but now I'm either not friends with them anymore, they're too busy with university, or have a family. I don't even know anyone in real life with a Wii U and only get to play 4 player couch co-op a few times a year now. It's fun being able to hop into online games like Mario Kart with SASers.


I didn't get friends to play locally with until I was a senior in high school, it was definitely fun while it lasted. Nowadays the only time I play local multiplayer with anyone are at tournaments or with family members, but it's rare. Playing MK8 with you and everyone else has really been a blast.


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## ShatteredGlass (Oct 12, 2012)

Nope. I did at one point have like, 3 gaming friends when I used to play online on the game "Battlezone II - Combat Commander", but I was like, 9 years old at the time, lol.


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## Zyriel (May 20, 2011)

Persephone The Dread said:


> It's you! XD
> 
> lol sorry that sounds rude, not seen you post in ages



Yes it's me! Nope not rude! Lol yeah I do that ~_~ Honestly this seems like the only place I can actually have more intellectual conversations though. That must say something about people with what Social Anxiety, Introverts ftw xD


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

I don't play games online very much but I made one online friend that I still talk to from playing Resistance 2 on PS3. He is on my PS3 friends list and on my facebook.

My other online friends are from a different forum that I've posted on for over a decade.


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## Sync (Jun 20, 2014)

I just play with whoever I get matched up with.
Sometimes I try to talk to people in the game, or they talk to me. But after a few back and fourth sentenses I get really self concious and worried that I'm not going to be able to keep up the conversation in a normal way so I just leave.


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## 1437 (Aug 11, 2012)

I have had friends online but I can't play much against other people due to SA. So, I dont talk to them that often.

I have been a part of quite a few clans/teams and finally decided its not for me. Everyone thinks they know the game better and everyone blame the other members if we lose.

Also I've made a 1 or 2 close friends irl due to games.


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## Xioz (May 15, 2014)

Gwynevere said:


> I was wondering how many people have internet only friends through gaming, such as the obvious being a guild in an MMO that you play with all the time and end up becoming friends with.
> 
> How do you deal with the drama that comes up in those types of things? Guild destroying drama, I swear it's like highschool in a gaming group like that.
> 
> ...


Responses in red.


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## Tomyx (Jun 27, 2013)

You know, I saw that Everquest 15th anniversary thing where they showed people meeting online and getting married and such. But they weren't exactly the best quality people, heh. Maybe it's better to just be alone online. All the good nerd girls are already taken, might as well date cheerleaders.


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## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

Gwynevere said:


> I was wondering how many people have internet only friends through gaming, such as the obvious being a guild in an MMO that you play with all the time and end up becoming friends with.
> 
> How do you deal with the drama that comes up in those types of things? Guild destroying drama, I swear it's like highschool in a gaming group like that.
> 
> ...


From one game I met two girls in high school (one from the opposite side of the country, the other from the States). I ended up coincidentally at the same university as one of them and was her roommate for two years. We were really really tight (then a tenancy dispute with a third roommate ruined it).

The girl in the States is still one of my best friends. I was a bridesmaid at her wedding in 2010.

As for your questions I don't remember much but I do remember drama. Not with them. But people we chatted with and "hung out with" in chats. It got ugly and I don't miss that. But I feel really lucky to have had them (and still have one).

I think to game a lot CAN often hint at anxiety in the real world. It's escapism. I remember a few players mentioning it.


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## Gwynevere (Oct 6, 2013)

seafolly said:


> From one game I met two girls in high school (one from the opposite side of the country, the other from the States). I ended up coincidentally at the same university as one of them and was her roommate for two years. We were really really tight (then a tenancy dispute with a third roommate ruined it).
> 
> The girl in the States is still one of my best friends. I was a bridesmaid at her wedding in 2010.
> 
> ...


Wow that's amazing! You went beyond just close game friendship, you managed to make her an actual part of your real life.


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## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

Gwynevere said:


> Wow that's amazing! You went beyond just close game friendship, you managed to make her an actual part of your real life.


Yes.  Both were too embarrassed to tell people how we really met. I personally don't care haha.

I've also become close "real life" friends with people I met through LiveJournal.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

andreiuca said:


> I had a lot, probably 20-30+ in total. But I've lost most of them. Only a couple of guys are left; I've known them for like 8-9 years :um They're probably my best friends.
> (I haven't made new ones in ages because I don't play online games anymore.)


This(except I only talk to one of them now). It's also interesting how I gradually became more socially anxious _even online_. I wasn't in the beginning. I was a guild leader for a good while, too. It stressed me out.


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## Gwynevere (Oct 6, 2013)

probably offline said:


> It's also interesting how I gradually became more socially anxious _even online_.


That happened to me too actually, I think because as we started becoming friends I started becoming less anonymous and caring more about how they perceived me. And that started up all my anxieties and insecurities and self-doubt.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Gwynevere said:


> That happened to me too actually, I think because as we started becoming friends I started becoming less anonymous and caring more about how they perceived me. And that started up all my anxieties and insecurities and self-doubt.


Yes! And I felt like you had to be available all the time. I was doing my own thang in the beginning, gradually got to know people, became a strong player, and then all of a sudden I was a guild leader who had to deal with all kinds of questions and decisions all the time(and not let people down). Like, how did I end up in that situation? **** that. I actually prefer doing things on my own for the most part, when I play(ed). But a lot of it was straight up social anxiety, too(like I would feel IRL). LIke, I feel like I have to perform all the time, and if I don't feel like I can deliver - I bail(and get a lot of anxiety).

... I'm getting off-topic.

Anyways, it's weird.


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## Schmosby (Jan 26, 2014)

Gwynevere said:


> I was wondering how many people have internet only friends through gaming, such as the obvious being a guild in an MMO that you play with all the time and end up becoming friends with.
> 
> How do you deal with the drama that comes up in those types of things? Guild destroying drama, I swear it's like highschool in a gaming group like that.
> 
> ...


No friends tend to last forever, bus yes I made some close friends at the time when I used to play Halo, also made friends and girlfriends in MMOs, I still have a few of them on my facebook, never had any drama except with a GF. I don't get jealous but I do get irritated when they promote an inept person, simply because they butt kissed the most, when I know I can do a better job, but thats politics. I'm very open I have no issues sharing anything pretty much.


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## just smile (Nov 2, 2013)

yes c: i think i have more gaming/online friends den real life friends. 
i still keep in contact wiff dem and they're really close and cool wiff me c: im happy i met dem


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## Zashlin (Dec 15, 2013)

Yes I had friends but mostly for helping me out on taking bases and raids or just for fun pking. Since I was a "pro" on the game I was friends with other high skilled players. We had mutual respect for one another and wouldn't kill each other if we were in the same place. It was cool to have the best players in your guild. I remember two of my friends hated each other and always took the same base back and forth. I was in the sidelines waiting for it to stop and like I couldnt choose which side I was on because I was in both guilds ha.
I had other friends that were just there to talk to and goof off in the game trying to get banned lol. Those were the ones that I cared the most about because it didnt matter about stats, we just wanted to have fun.


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## Marlon (Jun 27, 2011)

Yeah my best friend and I met on a game probably back in 2004 or 2005. Hes from a different state. We have a really close friendship. Probably gonna go to each others weddings as best man and we haven't met in real life yet lol

Like 5 years ago we were saying "we're still gonna be talking to each other when we're 30."


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## Tokztero (Sep 12, 2013)

I have made a couple of friends on PSN.


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

A very very long time ago before the huge gaming breakthrough that was windows 95 the only way to game with someone was connecting through a phone line. There was a place called DWANGO. It was like a chat room but you could launch games and play together. That was a big deal back then. 

We were kind of a close knit group. Maybe 20 regular users playing Duke Nukem 3d, Doom 2, and Warcraft I. Good times. I wonder what happened to some of those guys.


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## Ovski (Jun 28, 2014)

Gwynevere said:


> I was wondering how many people have internet only friends through gaming, such as the obvious being a guild in an MMO that you play with all the time and end up becoming friends with.
> 
> How do you deal with the drama that comes up in those types of things? Guild destroying drama, I swear it's like highschool in a gaming group like that.
> 
> ...


I've played games for more than 12 years of my life I think. And 10 years of that mostly MMOs. At first it was exciting and new to meet people around the world, but I later developed new close friendships with people. Some friendships were good, others kinda just faded with time 

From my experience I find it easier to connect with people if I share personal information with them. Or them with me. You suddenly feel a lot more closeness too. But there's been -alot- of drama. But I usually try to avoid it at all cost. Unless being involved directly. It's easy to get hurt online even if it's just a game.

But meeting people through gaming has been quite a nice experience overall. Even met some in real life (scary ). But those are experiences I wouldn't do without now


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## Eurehl (Oct 11, 2011)

Back in the day, maybe. But now, the people I know who like gaming don't really care for gaming at all, they just play the occasional FIFA or PES, LoL, Dota, COD, etc... No one cares about great indie, innovative, experimental, artsy games or even about the industry as a whole.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Yeah I have friends I've met on games. They are only friends with me because I'm good at the game though.


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

I haven't socialized much online in a while, but I used to have a few people I loved to talk to everyday on XBL. I'm not sure if the relationships were "close" but they were headed that way... I tried to keep my personal life to myself.


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

I have many online friends met from gaming. Some I still talk to regularly from 5 years ago.


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## Evasion (Dec 27, 2013)

I have friends I've met playing games, yes. Not really super close though, as we're usually just friends because we're good at the game.

I also prefer playing either 2v2/3v3 and not talking to many at once. Big guilds etc. is a big no-no for me.


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## Hallowed Ground (Dec 1, 2013)

I made some pretty cool friends from MMO's when i was into them a few years ago, and for a good while ended up basically running a guild of 50-100 people which may seem really trivial but it was nice, and gave me some kind of leadership experience i would never have IRL/really want IRL.

Made a few good fb friends out of it, but have not really kept will in touch since i stopped playing.


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## Crimson Lotus (Jul 26, 2013)

Many years ago I used to play a lot of game with an ex girlfriends, those were some nice times, and last year I played LoL several times with an American lady friend but not much other than that. 

I'm quite cheap so I don't have consoles/a powerful PC so most people don't play the sort of games that I do.


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## donzen (May 13, 2014)

I made some good friends in Tera online.
I think I would call it a close friendship since we always did play PvP, Instances and Dungeons together.

Later 1 of the girls Ditched us and she had social anxiety too.
But I am not really in contact with most of them anymore.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

I don't do multiplayer games. The closest I do get to that is when I'm having a Pokemon battle with my boyfriend but that's about it.


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