# Dianetics



## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

Last week while I was browsing SAS I couldn't help but notice the Dianetics ads. One read "I literally experienced a miracle with Dianetics!" and another exclaimed "The problem is not there anymore!" Having lived my 26.7 years with social anxiety, without any hint of progress, I knew I could use a miracle. I decided to set aside my instinctive skepticism for once... too often I've laughed off chances to get better, making excuses to avoid confronting my problems. I finally realized that I had nothing to lose.

Clicking through the ad, I read how millions of people have used dianetics to achieve happiness. The site explained how "with Dianetics you can find out how to understand and get along with others" and I realized it'd been written with SA in mind. Dianetics is a science of the mind that shows you how the mind works. There's a single source of all your problems, stress, unhappiness and self-doubt... and the best part is there's a single solution, too.

I was intrigued, but I still had some doubts, so I called the 1-800-FOR-TRUTH number they offer. The operator was very kind and assured me that all I needed was some guidance, and that the science of dianetics has helped many social anxiety sufferers recover. Most people are deluded, he explained, and I was one of the lucky ones since I was about the find the truth. He even signed me up for a personality test at a 50% discount.

I rushed out and got myself a copy of _Dianetics_ so I could start reading at once. It was captivating and liberating, I just couldn't stop turning the pages... it was like the book was written just for me, just about my problems. It was a couple days later when I took the personality test, and I couldn't believe how accurate it was, it identified my exact issues. It showed me how each component of my personality combined to build my social phobia. The next day I had a meeting with my new mentor to review the results, he showed me exactly how I could disrupt the pattern and break free of SA forever. Since then I've retrained my mind using the mental pressure points dianetics taught me. I'd thought it'd be long and difficult, but it was amazingly simple, like lifting a veil from my eyes.

I'm a new man. Last night I gave a twenty minute speech telling my story at a local scientologists gathering, and I felt no anxiety whatsoever. Afterwards I lingered to chat, and it was effortless. There was a cute and devastatingly intelligent woman who told me how much she liked my speech, and I decided to go for it -- I asked her out, and she accepted! :banana

To all of you out there who are still suffering, don't give up hope. A week ago I was sure that I was a hopeless case, that nothing could change and I'd never be able to handle people. The solution is there for the taking, all you have to do is reach for it! Don't let the price of a book or little administrative fees keep you from trying, nothing is more valuable than getting your life on track.

It really hit me today what an amazing change I've experienced, and I knew I had to share it with you all. Then I checked today's date, reevaluated the plausibility of my story and realized none of it actually happened (except for the ad viewing).

Legal disclaimer: I hereby refuse to take any responsibility for financial or mental losses suffered by people who, lacking the patience to read to the end of a post, rush out to convert.


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

Lolz. :spit


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## Disintegrate (Jun 28, 2006)

you got me


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

Paul said:


> It really hit me today what an amazing change I've experienced, and I knew I had to share it with you all. Then I checked today's date, reevaluated the plausibility of my story and realized none of it actually happened (except for the ad viewing).


 :spit I didn't read the last part the first time around...

*HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY!!!*


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## lunareclipse (Mar 15, 2007)

I kept thinking 'sounds like an ad, there's NO way this is for real' but then you've posted so many times before, why wouldn't you be credible now, so you must be serious so more power to you and all...!

You totally got me. Happy April Fool's


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## sprinter (Nov 22, 2003)

I never believed you were serious. I knew you wouldn't go Tom Cruise on us. :lol


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

:haha


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## lowwwwwi (Dec 23, 2006)

has anyone actually read the book?


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## cat burglar (Sep 2, 2006)

LMAO, that was awesome!



> has anyone actually read the book?


I've got a leather-bound copy of the original that I found at a used bookstore. It's got a lot of scientific mumbo-jumbo that sounds mighty & impressive, but really doesn't make any sense if you read into it. It comes with fold-out organizational charts and other such stuff.


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## crazyg (Jun 18, 2005)

Hilarious! I was suspicious from the start. Then, I figured, well, maybe you actually bought the book and everything. When it got to the whole thing about not worrying about the cost of books or administration fees, it sounded like something from a scientology book I once read. And then you hit me with the truth...great stuff. It made my day, thanks.


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## crazyg (Jun 18, 2005)

Heh...I also like your legal disclaimer! ha.


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

This wasn't a joke. Does Dianetics really work? Idunno.


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## Nae (Nov 10, 2003)

unsure said:


> This wasn't a joke. Does Dianetics really work? Idunno.


It is part of Scientology. http://www.xenu.net/ has quite a bit of critical information on the CoS.


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