# Plenty of triumphs, but does SA ever really go away?



## julianac13 (Jul 11, 2010)

I have been a member of this forum since 2010. I took about a three-year break from the forum. Since then, I have come a long way. I have my masters degree in counseling, I have given presentations, I have an amazing group of friends, a job I love. Yet, there are still times I struggle with SA. However, now, I have built a different relationship around it. I am more accepting of it and am much happier for it. But this made me wonder, does it ever really go away? Do we become outgoing, gregarious people like we want? Or, is it always there with us, but we learn a new way of being with it?

Curious to hear your thoughts!


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

I don't think so, and that's OK. If we were all the same as far as personality and interests, the world would be a very boring place.

It's a part of our personality, something genetic or something learned, and the best one can do for themselves is working on managing it and find a happy medium, with your social life and expectations.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Anxiety doesn't go away - the social part, too. You learn to handle it differently.


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## pollutedessence (Aug 18, 2014)

I think I've come a long way too!  I had to learn to accept that I had the issue and then go out and do what I wanted to do regardless. I think I adapted around it and overtime I had less and less panic attacks. Knock on wood, I haven't had one in a really long time. It's probably been over a year or two since I've had a panic attack. 

I think it's still there to an extent, but I've learned to adapt with it. The anxiety isn't as bad now because I have more confidence in myself, and I know I can walk around in a mall by myself without having a panic attack. I still get anxious sometimes doing it, but I still force myself to get out there anyways. I can talk to people behind a register now or ask questions in a store if I really need to. I'm definitely not the same person who didn't even want to drive to the gas station for fear of filling up gas in front of people or check out alone in the grocery store. I'm working on it every time I go out even if it doesn't feel like it.


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

First, congrats on all the success and progress that you've made.

I have to say though that it saddens me a bit hearing from others that even if I improve my life in all the ways that I want to that the SA never really goes away. I mean I didn't believe that it would magically be gone but just hearing that it will still always be a struggle even if I get to the place in life that I want, is somewhat disheartening.


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## Ai (Oct 13, 2012)

julianac13 said:


> I have been a member of this forum since 2010. I took about a three-year break from the forum. Since then, I have come a long way. I have my masters degree in counseling, I have given presentations, I have an amazing group of friends, a job I love.


That's so amazing! Seriously. Congratulations! It makes me so happy to see people here succeed. 

As far as believing it will ever "go away" is concerned, though, I suppose I'm not sure... I would imagine, when it comes down to it, it depends on the factors for each individual person that contributed to the development of their condition in the first place, you know? But a predisposition toward anxiety in general, though... That'll probably stick with us forever. In many cases, it's genetic and physiological (it definitely is in mine.) It's how we choose to deal with it that will determine how and how _much_ it colors our experiences in the future.

It doesn't mean we can't have wonderfully fulfilled, dynamic lives. But it might mean that we will just have to maybe try a little bit harder than other people to get there sometimes.


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## Furiosa (Jun 2, 2015)

No, I don't think so, if it was going to it would have happened already. I think it's just one of those things in life, it can get easier and you can certainly manage it, maybe it might even go away for a while, but it's always going to be there niggling in the background. It's like what they say about smokers, "No one ever really quits!".


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## Jimma (Feb 15, 2016)

Everyone feels Social Anxiety sometimes and that is completely normal, but it should not make you miss out on things that you want to do, or cripple your life so much that it's basically not worth living because you feel like you can't do anything and just stay at home all the time. But you said it yourself you still feel it sometimes, but you don't feel it all the ****ing time like you used to, right? That's awesome! Congrats on your achievements! =)


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## Dreaming1111 (Aug 31, 2016)

Not sure if my shyness and introversion makes it worse for me. When younger I had no issues making friends and so forth. Just seems like the SA really started to manifest in my twenties. Quite a few years later and I still have it but again not sure if it is harder for me to beat due to other issues. I don't think I ever found a good therapist to work through some things so that could it. My belief is you don't really beat it as much as you learn to manage it and become more functional. I also think you can have setbacks which has happened to me.


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## LoveIsTheAnswer (Oct 6, 2016)

It's like becoming a great sportsman. At first you're ****, but you become better and better. At somepoint you'll be quite good, but there will ALWAYS be room for improvement. You can't just become like 100% socially confident, there will always be situations you're not comfortable with, but you can work on them.


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## bbrownleather (Jun 7, 2015)

always here, a part of me, it's like fighting myself.


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## Mancman (Sep 17, 2016)

I'm 45 now...thought 20 years ago this would be behind me but its still here with a vengeance...but somehow I just keep fighting....Congratulations on your masters degree in counseling...I think its incredible the achievements we make despite this thing that controls our lives and holds us back....I wonder what I could have achieved without this thing on my back....#
I still hope one day to find a clearing in these woods....


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## VanDamme (Jun 8, 2004)

The short answer is _maybe_. I've been able to completely overcome SA and have met many others as well. Based on your question, it sounds like you are interested in going "all the way" with overcoming your SA. If you can be outgoing at least in some social situations then chances are good that you are dealing with the changeable type. But change depends on whether the SA you are experiencing is indeed the changeable kind and how committed you are to finding the *right* approach that will work. You can look at my various posts for approaches that you haven't tried yet or let me know if you have questions.


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## marsia (Mar 22, 2016)

I have had periods in my life when I had nearly no social anxiety, and looking back it was because I was really engaged in life. I think when I start drifting to where I don't have something meaningful I want to do that involves people the SA comes back again. It's a bunch of defense mechanisms, so when I am open and feeling like a part of the world of people, I don't need them. So just watch for when you start to feel defended again and see what your values are and if you agree with needing to isolate and defend. This is my advice to you, but I need to take it also!


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