# Parents Make My Life Miserable



## oku (Dec 9, 2013)

I should be feeling happy. I earn enough income to take care of myself and a little bit extra for leisure and these are all I need to feel happy. I have no desire for friendship nor love. All I want is to live in a small quiet space.

However, my parents believe I can't be and shouldn't be so because I don't earn as much as my cousins do and I don't have friends. My father barks at me all the time about not having a social life like everybody else. They said they feel bad for me for having a friendless, pathetic life. I told them over and over again that I feel happy as long as I am allowed to have my quite space. They don't accept it and they're absolutely convinced that I'm depressed because of having no friends. But the reality is, most of my sadness comes from my parenting not accepting and appreciating the way I am and constantly interrupting my thoughts.

They think it's their duty to scout me until I am "better." Besides having no friends/relationships, one thing they hold against me most often is my unwillingness to drive a car. I was forced to learn to drive when I was younger. I learned slow and took more lessons than most people before I got my license. I felt really stupid and guilty for having to spend the extra money. After I got my license, my dad would force me to practice driving with him. He's always criticizes me my skills. One day, while he was nagging me behind the wheels, I crushed his car. I believe my driving phobia was formed at that time. After that, I stopped driving and they also quit forcing me to for a while because we couldn't afford me crashing another car. I have nightmares of car accidents a few times each year since then.

However, since I got my jobs and started bringing extra cash home, they've been trying to convince me to drive again. Even though, I could get to work perfectly fine with my bike and public transportation. The happiest time for me is when I go to work and on my way home--being able to day dream by myself. Sadly, my bike was stolen earlier this week. I felt terrible about this. Instead of comforting me for my lost, my parents quickly takes the opportunity to remind me about how unfortunate I am for not being able to drive. They believe this is the chance to make me "normal." They think somehow learning to drive would transform me. They're going to keep nagging me until I take a driving lesson.

I have told them this is my life and my money and I don't want to spend it on something that make myself unhappy. There are plenty of stuff that makes my happy that I'd love to buy, but I didn't do so to grow my saving so I can soon have enough money to move out the house and finally have my own life. 

There are only two paths: either take a driving lesson to feel terrified and depressed or escape from the house to make my parents go insane.

I know it's kind of silly to have suicidal thoughts over such thing. Many others suffer much more than I am. But honestly I just want to disappear. I am too weak to face such simple challenge like driving..:crying:


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## S a m (Jan 5, 2015)

I don't blame you for not wanting to drive...especially in west SGV. I would know lol. Nah but jokes aside like you said it's your money and you decide what you want to do with it. That'd be ridiculous to waste your own money on something you absolutely don't even want to do. I know a lot of people that just aren't comfortable driving and I don't blame them and honestly I think it's best to not have someone so anxious about driving behind a wheel because that'll only lead to accidents. Well I guess you'll just have to learn to ignore their nagging about it until you either buy another bike or move out.


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## lostinlife (Jun 2, 2010)

My sympathies for your family problems. Any time parents don't support their children, it's tough. I don't think it's silly to feel mental anguish over it because your parents are supposed to be your primary support system and when they don't support you it's pretty devastating, no matter how "small" the issue looks from the outside. 

Unfortunately, as long as you live with your parents, they're always going to have some form of control over your life. Your second option seems the best: Keep saving money from your job to move out. From someone else who has driving anxiety and hates driving, driving isn't simple and you need to be in the right state of mind to learn it. More power to you if you can build a life where you never have to drive, but I hope one day you can come back to that skill and learn it so the fear doesn't rule your life. You shouldn't do it for your parents though, you have to do it for you. If you're not ready, you shouldn't force yourself into it.


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## oku (Dec 9, 2013)

They know I am cheap and wanted to save every penny possible. So they're going to pay for the lessons and a new car. I told them it's going to make me terribly guilty and I would consider it's a debt. Not to mention the additional stress I need to endorse for driving "somebody else'" car (because it's not paid by my money). Apparently they don't give a crap about how I feel, they think I was just making up excuses to avoid taking responsibility.


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## PierceTheVeil (Feb 9, 2013)

Hi my mom makes me feel the same way, with wanting move out because of the tension we have. But, I know you've heard this before but the reason why they are concerned is because yiu are there child. I think maybe the resin why they want you to learn so bad is because they want to make sure you will be safe when you move out. It is sad that they don't accept you for you, my mom doesn't either. And they won't listen, but from what I've learned is that no one is prefect and we can't make someone change their ways for us. So I know it's hard but slowly you have to face the fact that they wont accept you, BUT that's not a bad thing. It's amazing that you are who you are and, don't let them get you down if they want you to be a different way. Try to keep a journal or something and record your thoughts to relieve stress. And then cope with it until you have enough money too move out. I really hope this helps and that's everything works out for you!!


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