# Do you think it's ok to snoop around your partner's phone?



## gunner21 (Aug 4, 2012)

I was talking to someone and that person said that their partner snooped around their w/o their permission, and it just boggled my mind how they could still be together. That's the ultimate breach of trust to me. How about you?



Edit: Oh lord, I misspelled poll.


----------



## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

If you are planning to propose to them then yes. I caught my brother snooping through his fiance's phone one time. hahaha he got so pissed off.


----------



## thruthecracks (Jan 13, 2014)

I think if you think of looking through someone's phone, then you already feel something is wrong, or you are insecure. Concerning engagement, both of these issues should be worked on, hopefully solved, before getting married.


----------



## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

No. I think you have to trust people and allow them their privacy.

I could imagine a relationship where people didn't have _at least_ some private space being suffocating.

Partnership not ownership.


----------



## Steinerz (Jul 15, 2013)

Hmm depends. I don't actually have anything on my phone so it doesn't make much difference to me. Don't think I care if they are going through my phone. At some point we may have to borrow phones or something? So. *shrug* I'd prefer if they want to snoop through it that they do it right in front of me. The only thing I have to hide is porn and I do that from my desktop.


----------



## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Major violation of trust, indeed. Same thing with Facebook messages, or emails, or anything private like that.

Better not get caught... It's a potential on-the-spot deal breaker, really.


----------



## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

No. You can look at it while your parner is next to you, if that's fine with him/her. But snooping for "clues" and stuff...? That's just an indication that there's no trust in the relationship(at least from the snooper's point of view).


----------



## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

I don't think it's okay, as I'm very protective of my privacy. But I wouldn't consider it a relationship-ending breach. It doesn't seem like a big betrayal of trust or anything. Maybe it's because I've dealt with friends and family who were snoops and I'm just used to people sticking their noses in everywhere.


----------



## Ineko (Jan 5, 2014)

I would personally snoop, just cause I have trust issues that stem from guys cheating or lying to me
I would just do it next to them though
and why get offended nothing should be there anyways??


----------



## red3002 (Sep 11, 2013)

If the relationship was real and not just some piece of crap that will only last 3 weeks, then I think I would let my partner use/look at my phone all they want..


----------



## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

no it's not ok in my book, show's a lack of respect and trust a kind of posessive behaviour, people still need personel space, they don't "own" the other person...


----------



## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

Ineko said:


> I would personally snoop, just cause I have trust issues that stem from guys cheating or lying to me
> I would just do it next to them though
> and why get offended nothing should be there anyways??


I think they would get offended cause you snooping would mean you don't trust them. So meaning you don't trust them makes them upset.


----------



## AceEmoKid (Apr 27, 2012)

Without permission, never. Even if you snooped and admitted to it afterwards, that is ****ing terrible. If you already don't trust your partner enough to feel the need to check their private messages, then you should at least have the dignity and respectfulness to confront your partner.


----------



## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

Oh yes. I absolutely would. It'd be fun if they snooped through mine, too. A little bit of intrigue keeps things alive, I'd imagine.


----------



## licorice (Oct 5, 2013)

As long as you believe your status as girlfriend/boyfriend supersedes their status as a human being with boundaries, yes.


----------



## Idontgetit (Nov 1, 2013)

Having a code password ftw.


----------



## gunner21 (Aug 4, 2012)

Barette said:


> Oh yes. I absolutely would. It'd be fun if they snooped through mine, too. A little bit of intrigue keeps things alive, I'd imagine.


Even if it jeopardizes the relationship?


----------



## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

In a normal and secure relationship no, but if there was some solid evidence that there was some cheating I wouldn't judge anyone for snooping around the phone looking for incriminating evidence.


----------



## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

I think snooping by it's very nature is not ok.


----------



## Steve French (Sep 17, 2012)

No, that is some pretty questionable behaviour. Reading through texts, listening in on the extension, installing cameras, following at a distance and hiding in the bushes, not okay.


----------



## Raeden (Feb 8, 2013)

Steve French said:


> listening in on the extension, installing cameras, following at a distance and hiding in the bushes, not okay.


Ah, man. Those are all of my favorite hobbies.


----------



## KelsKels (Oct 4, 2011)

Yeah Im guilty of doing that. Stone me if you must. I dont really think its a good thing to do but at the same time it shouldnt be a big deal because if you have nothing to hide theres nothing to find. Im just insanely insecure and always think that any girl is going to get my boyfriends attention over me.. so I freak out and do stupid sh** like that. Its a problem, but Ive worked on it over the past 4.5 years.


----------



## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

No, absolutely not. As many others have already stated it would be a major breach of privacy. I have been married for many years and I would beyond pissed if I were searched like a prisoner and made to feel like I needed to be searched...it would be a defining moment. Marriage is about trust, as all relationships are. If you have trust you have nothing. I would never tolerate anyone going through my phone, my FB messages or anything like that. Even when you are married you still need privacy and space.


----------



## cafune (Jan 11, 2011)

God no. I'm open/expressive (to a fault, probably) so that's unnecessary (and *irritating*) but it wouldn't be enough to end a relationship (since I don't think it's such a huge deal as snooping has been normalized for me by my family).


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Yes. I snooped thoroughly on all my exes. A tiny bit on my roommates too (just papers lying around and such or having a quick look at their room while they were out).


----------



## AlchemyFire (Mar 4, 2013)

The more important thing would be to address why they feel the need to do that in the first place. I don't know, I'm not protective of my stuff because I have nothing to hide, so I've never felt defensive or offended by this sort of thing. But if I had issues or insecurities about something I'd talk about it first, I wouldn't snoop.


----------



## extremly (Oct 25, 2012)

I think everyone wants to protect "what's theirs" so yes. Doing it every once in a while is ok. Is a very primitive impulse.


----------



## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

I would imagine that if my girlfriend ever needed my phone she'd just ask. Snooping is a big no-no. I don't do anything wrong but I cherish my privacy and the idea of somebody snooping through my phone makes me paranoid.


----------



## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

gunner21 said:


> Even if it jeopardizes the relationship?


I think a relationship would be jeopardized the second it involved me, anyway. So yes.


----------



## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Very clear no.
I hate feeling mistrust and my every move being analysed for ways to use them against me.
And frankly, I think showing people trust is the best way to encourage 'desirable' behaviour in them. That doesn't mean you're not allowed to be insecure and jealous, but that you should try to get past those and not act on them.

It technically is illegal here as well, and rightfully so. We have right to privacy and being in a relationship doesn't mean you surrender that.
But I doubt people take legal action all that often.


----------



## MCHB (Jan 1, 2013)

Not without permission.


----------



## straightarrows (Jun 18, 2010)

I"m glad most voted NO!


----------



## nster (Oct 19, 2011)

In front of the person is okay, if there is history of cheating and the significant other needs reassuring or there is some questionable behaviour, I think it is still passable. But either way it indicates there is a lack of trust somewhere and that either something happened to lose that trust and it needs to be rebuilt at the risk of the relationship going into flames.

It doesn't really have to do with casual or committed, right or wrong. It has to do with the situation, the reason etc.


----------



## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

I don't think it is ok, though I don't think I'd care too much if she snooped around my ****...I just don't have anything embarrassing/incriminating stashed away. It would be boring. 

I should 'plant' something weird though (if I ever date anybody ever again). Like maybe a fake murder confession or some nude pictures of dudes.


----------



## LoungeFly (Jun 25, 2011)

No way is it OK to snoop. Although there are probably some things I have hidden that would cause me to be really irritated if someone were to snoop around


----------



## Mochyn (Jan 6, 2014)

Evo1114 said:


> I should 'plant' something weird though (if I ever date anybody ever again). Like maybe a fake murder confession or some nude pictures of dudes.


Awesome idea! that'd serve her right! :lol

No, I don't think it's ok to snoop, I prefer to hear no evil/see no evil in a relationship on the basis that if you go looking for trouble you'll more than likely find it. Ignorance is bliss, what you don't know can't hurt you and that's my daily quota of clichés right there so I'll shut up now :yes


----------



## ineverwipe (Jun 16, 2013)

Nah. It's private. I wouldn't want anyone snooping on my phone. Almost all of my gfs did at one time or another though. It's funny how most of the time my phone was clean. Yet they were the ones who cheated. I think that's the guilt thinking for them


----------



## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

I have in a past relationship, but only because I was sure they were cheating. I mean, I was sure, I was just looking for proof and I found it. It wasn't actually their phone but their fb messages. So not only was she cheating, she was also not that bright apparently. Or maybe she wanted me to find out, idk.

I wouldn't get upset about a gf snooping at my phone (or fb), there's nothing I'd be hiding.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Mochyn said:


> Awesome idea! that'd serve her right! :lol
> 
> No, I don't think it's ok to snoop, I prefer to hear no evil/see no evil in a relationship on the basis that if you go looking for trouble you'll more than likely find it. *Ignorance is bliss*, what you don't know can't hurt you and that's my daily quota of clichés right there so I'll shut up now :yes


That's why sometimes you hear about men with 2 separate families in different cities. He was always on long business trips for work...


----------



## kate7 (Feb 24, 2013)

people take my phone all the time and it's not really a big deal. plus i don't have anything to hide so people can look through it all they want


----------



## Mochyn (Jan 6, 2014)

komorikun said:


> That's why sometimes you hear about men with 2 separate families in different cities. He was always on long business trips for work...


I was a child in one of those families and it was all good (for me anyway) until someone got curious. Having read a lot of similar stories in the press it's always come across to me that the families were happy and the husband was attentive (when present), they were blissfully unaware.


----------



## scooby (Jun 24, 2009)

komorikun said:


> Yes. I snooped thoroughly on all my exes. A tiny bit on my roommates too (just papers lying around and such or having a quick look at their room while they were out).


wtf.


----------



## Amorphousanomaly (Jun 20, 2012)

Nah, no good can come of that. Even though mine is clean I'd still be paranoid, not that my bf would go snooping.


----------



## wrongnumber (May 24, 2009)

Yes. I trust people by default, am not insecure about getting cheated on, and am not nosy by nature. But some people, unfortunately, will never admit to anything unless caught red handed. And I rather be aware than oblivious. If they did the same to me I'd be pissed off but I'd get over it as I can't see myself ever cheating on anyone, or having anything I really needed to hide from them. It probably wouldn't occur to me to snoop though unless they left something open in my face or I suspected them of something.


----------



## czersalad19 (Oct 31, 2011)

No.


----------



## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

No, snooping is done by insecure people.


----------



## mattmc (Jun 27, 2013)

I wouldn't really want someone snooping on my phone because I doubt they'd be understanding enough. But that may be underestimating them.

They shouldn't mind me snooping though. I never judge.


----------



## Glass Child (Feb 28, 2013)

Snooping is just a bad and rather tempting habit to get rid of.
No, it's not okay.


----------



## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

Never ever ever. No matter how close or serious you are.


----------



## caelle (Sep 9, 2008)

It's not ok but people are gonna do it anyways. 

I don't think I could handle snooping. I'm too insecure and will misinterpret everything. And I don't want to be that kind of person anyways. If I don't trust my partner enough to not respect his privacy, I don't think I'd want to be in that relationship anymore.


----------



## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

No. If there's no trust in the relationship, then it's not much of a relationship at all...


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I didn't comment on this before weird.

No.


----------



## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Who doesn't like my polls???

:cry


----------



## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

It's not okay but I know I would if I had the opportunity.


----------



## entangled (May 20, 2014)

No. It's not okay to "snoop". Ask. Communicate.
This is coming from an ex obsessive snooper.
I snooped all the time and of course I found ****.
But if I had taken the time to just make an open forum and talk about stuff it would have come out eventually.
Also, even if you don't find anything you ultimately are ruining your relationship.


----------



## ShatteredGlass (Oct 12, 2012)

Probably not. It shows a lack of trust, and trust is one of the most important things in a relationship.


----------



## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

It's definitely not okay to snoop on your partner's phone, unless there's a REALLY good reason or an emergency - for example to make sure they are following your rules for who they are allowed to talk to; to make sure they haven't added any facebook friends of the opposite sex or friends that you haven't pre-approved; to put a GPS tracking program on their phone to make sure they are only going to pre-approved places and on pre-authorized routes; to find personal information about them that you can use to lower their self-esteem the next time they get in an argument with you; and so on. Unless it's a life-and-death matter like in the above examples, there is no excuse for betraying your partner's trust by snooping around their phone. It's not nice or healthy to be jealous and controlling.


----------



## T Studdly (Jul 20, 2013)

No, thats uncool.


----------



## PandaBearx (May 26, 2013)

No although on one occasion I thought it was okay, which was when my sisters ex fiancé was cheating on her with other girls. I feel like it's easier said than done, but if you have good reason to believe someone you've been in love with for years is cheating on you.........temptation is _pretty_ high. Usually because believing isn't enough, there's a huge part in people who are cheated on that don't want to believe it, therefore they need actual proof and what better way to get it than directly from their lovers phone. But I don't think I would ever do that. Honestly if I ever felt the need to check my bf's phone even once, in my eyes the relationship is already toast b/c it shows I don't trust him, so I wouldn't even think of wasting my time raiding it. It's just not okay. Sad topic is sad.


----------

