# Not knowing if you're good looking or ugly



## Futures

I guess for girls, it's a bit easier to know if you're good looking, based on the attention men give them.

But as a guy, it's a bit harder to judge. Growing up, I certainly never got my ego stroked by any girls telling me that I'm good looking. When I'm out and about, I never notice any girls giving me a second look. At work there are countless girls all my age and none of them seem to even notice me. It really makes me second guess my own appearance and how others perceive me. Am I good looking or ugly? I honestly don't know.

When I look in the mirror, I tend to think I'm about a 7. But maybe I'm way off and it's lower than I originally thought.

Anyone else clueless on their appearance?


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## Naitzmic

Post a picture with that maybe?

And well, yeah... I get alot of positive comments from girls about
my appearence, but personally I don't feel as if I deserve them...


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## SusanStorm

Futures said:


> I guess for girls, it's a bit easier to know if you're good looking, based on the attention men give them.


Really?Then I must be real ugly :lol

I don't know if I think this is true all the time,but I might be wrong...


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## GlueEater

lol I know what you mean. I look in the mirror and tell myself "well I'm not the worse guy". But I can only say that in my own bathroom mirror when no one's around. I often look at my reflection in windows as I'm passing by (pretending to look inside, I hope to god no one has seen through this) and I don't see the same person I saw in my bathroom mirror. But maybe I don't look so creepy when I'm more comfortable.
Kinda funny if it didn't suck so much.

I too would give myself a 7, when I'm alone. Any pictures of me ever taken I would say 4-6.


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## loner2389

I used to think like this a few months ago. I'd never get much attention from girls, I'd have a some girls look at me a bit but never talked to me or anything so i thought i may have looked wierd or somthing. 

I posted my picture on some site (regret that now because a friend recognized me and still gives me crap for it) and got very positive feedback. Was a forum filled with assholes too so i was supirsed at this was completly ready to be flammed to hell. 

I do have girls look at me but they never talk to me or anything but i never start a conversation either and i act uninterested even if i am unintentionally so I don't really expect it back expecially since guys are supose to approach ect...

Unless you at least try to talk to girls i don't think they are going to give yoy much attention.


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## Trip Fontaine

Future, I share you thoughts entirely but I believe the reality is different.

Did you ever happen to be sitting in front of a beautiful girl but were afraid to look? When people notice someone they find attractive they are most likely to do the opposite and actually don't look. 

Do you agree?


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## boxofcheapwine

You can always post your photo on one of those picture rating sites and see how people rate you. The results may not be entirely accurate but they do give you a general sense of how people perceive you.


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## aviator99

Yeah same here...my family tells me i'm good looking and my sister said i'm good looking for a guy and that I have a nice profile. Weird thing is that I didnt think I had that great of a profile/an average one. I have no idea if any of those ratings really count, my sister would likely be honest with me (and she's MUCH more outgoing than me), but would also be nice. Wish I had a fully credible source :lol 

I think i'm average, but certain clothes (I dont know if this is just my thinking, or what), but if I wear average/crappy clothes (such as around my house/outside mowing the lawn), I consider myself average. When i'm in a tuxedo or what not, or even somewhat nicer clothes, I think 'damn i'm good looking'. I'm a pilot, for example, and on specific important flights i'll wear a pilots uniform. Black dress pants, black shoes...black tie, white short sleeve pilot shirt, occasionally leather jacket, and I think 'Damn do I look good, man'.

Come home, change - shorts and Tshirt around the house. 'Ehh I look average'. I think it offsets my mood too. I feel better when i'm dressed more stylish.

I wish I could wear dressy clothes all day long, or dress nice (business-like/churchgoing, wear my pilot uniform, etc.). Doesnt work in my rural farm-based area, though. I'd look like a total oddball.


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## Dudleyville

I am so ugly that people put my picture in their car window as an anti-theft device.But yeah I am definitely below average in the looks department which would explain why every female I have ever asked out has rejected me and also by the very low ratings I get in sites that judge you by how you look.


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## Roberto

People used to tell me that i was ugly. Ugly meant to me that I was drastically disfigured and no matter what I did, no one on the face of earth would ever find me desirable. I know I'm not super-hot like Harry Potter, but ugly? No, nobody is ugly. The only ugly people are those who are blind to goodness and kindness and beauty, and only care about themselves and their own good time. ; - ; you're fine.


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## srschirm

This is a very interesting thread. Thanks for everyone's insights. I'm the same way. Sometimes I don't think I'm half bad looking, but others, I can't look at myself in the mirror. Especially in public. I'm afraid of what people see when they look at me. And of course, girls won't approach (and I won't either), so I'm really in the dark on this subject. I do have a few pictures posted in the photo album section, though.

I wish this insecurity could go away.


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## emptybottle

*Re: re: Not knowing if you're good looking or ugly*



GlueEater said:


> lol I know what you mean. I look in the mirror and tell myself "well I'm not the worse guy". But I can only say that in my own bathroom mirror when no one's around. I often look at my reflection in windows as I'm passing by (pretending to look inside, I hope to god no one has seen through this) and I don't see the same person I saw in my bathroom mirror. ...
> I too would give myself a 7, when I'm alone. Any pictures of me ever taken I would say 4-6.


Same here. I look in the mirror at home and think I'm not bad looking, maybe almost pretty. Then, I leave the house and am confronted with the fact that I'm frumpy and unattractive compared to the majority of the women around me. This is worst at school and malls.


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## Drella

I don't really think I'm all that bad looking when I look in the mirror. However, I look like a cross between Wilford Brimley and a mutated troll in family photographs and such. Not really a good combonation for a woman, I think. I notice men checking me out sometimes, but it's usually obnoxious ones that I find repulsive... personality alone. I was called ugly all throughout high school, and a few little kids at this inner city school where I used to tutor called me ugly. 
On the flip side, a few prison inmates on work release yelled "woooo!" as I got out of my car once. So. you know, I guess it depends on the person looking at me. If you're really desperate and haven't seen a woman in several years, I look pretty good.


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## Zephyr

I tend to think I'm not attractive, if only because no one has shown the slightest interest in me whatsoever. Not once has anyone hit on me or shown they liked me physically. Of course, I'm a gargoyle, so I guess it's not to be wondered at...


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## Shauna The Dead

I'm confused too. I get alot of attention online...not as much as alot of girls seem to, but quite a bit I guess. More than some, maybe? But in person I get absolutely nothing [unless it's somebody I've met online]. But strangers never say anything... I've been asked out once by a nasty old man when I was like 12. :afr And he asks out everybody especially young girls because he has mental problems and is a perv. And one time, a couple of years ago, some random guy who was probably in his late 20's/early 30's, came up and said I was pretty, but that was about it. I also had a girl come up to me once and tell me she loved my hair, my clothes, pretty much complimented everything. Nice girl. And I have heard people mention me...but I don't know if they're telling the truth or not. Like one guy who works for the same company as my mom...apparently he told somebody he'd like to ask me out or something, but he never did so I think it was probably a lie. And from one of my friends I met online, I heard him say some guys thought I was hot but I didn't think anybody around here really knew who I was. Unless maybe they've seen my pictures on myspace or something. Cause I never get out in this town...I don't really care for most people around here, except the few friends I do have here.
I guess it could be because I look more confident in my pictures. In person I never make eye contact with people and I usually look down so I'm sure I dont look like somebody most people would wanna talk to, but that's not my fault, it's the ****ing SA. :sigh


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## Nae

I dunno, I don't think I am hideous but I have a very hard time accepting this. I look young... I still get asked what grade I am in in high school even though I am nearly 22 which can't be good for a guy, heh. I was watching Dazed and Confused the other night and even though one of the actors is now in his 30s he looks like he finally hit his 20s. He was 17 in the movie playing a 13/14 year old.



> In person I never make eye contact with people and I usually look down so I'm sure I dont look like somebody most people would wanna talk to,


I think how we carry ourselves in public is a bigger issue than how we look and you are right things such as SA & Low Self Esteem affect (effect?) the way we present ourselves. Eye movement, our physical stance, etc.


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## Lonelyguy

I was told how ugly I am for so much of my life that I have a hard time beleiving anything different now. I've never been told I'm attractive in real life, only online. I have a poor self image and I almost feel ashamed to be seen in public because I feel so ugly. Girls completely ignore me and I've never seen any females give me a second look. 
I posted my picture on hot or not a few times out of curiousity. I realize that site is by no means an indicator of how attractive someone is, but my score usually hovered around 5 and eventually started dropping lower until I removed my picture out of humiliation. In retaliation I gave everyone a 1 regardless of how they look. Payback is a ***** .


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## LoneLioness

I think its easy for anyone to really know if their good looking or ugly because just about everyone judges on looks, and either the pretty people get complimented or the ugly people get put down. If you really don't know whether you're ugly or good looking, then you must be neither (average).

As for me, I think I'm average, but everyone else thinks I'm ugly. I average a 4.5 on hotornot.com and when I've posted my pics here I get comments like nice pic and pretty eyes or pretty hair. Got a few cutes but that was it, no hots or prettys ever, not even 1.


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## GlueEater

LoneLioness said:


> I think its easy for anyone to really know if their good looking or ugly because just about everyone judges on looks, and either the pretty people get complimented or the ugly people get put down. If you really don't know whether you're ugly or good looking, then you must be neither (average).
> 
> As for me, I think I'm average, but everyone else thinks I'm ugly. I average a 4.5 on hotornot.com and when I've posted my pics here I get comments like nice pic and pretty eyes or pretty hair. Got a few cutes but that was it, no hots or prettys ever, not even 1.


I get what you mean. WHen I said I'd give myself a 7, I was taking 7 to mean average. But if average is denoted with a 5, then I'd give my self a 5, or a 6.

I think you're right, if anyone was overtly, crazy attactive they'd have gotten at least 1 complement.


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## IcedOver

I have this feeling as well. I don't think I'm a really good-looking guy but I don't believe I'm even close to the worst-looking either. I see guys on a daily basis who are much uglier than me. I'm thin and have broad shoulders and a long neck and when I get a haircut and look at myself a certain way I sometimes feel that I'm approaching "cute". 

I've never dated and never asked a girl if I'm good looking. One time at my job I transferred a call from a lady to a co-worker and after my co-worker finished with the call she came in and said that the lady on the line said I sounded really cute because I have a deep, resonant voice. My co-worker, a lady of about 45, said she told the lady "Oh, yeah, he's really cute". If my co-worker had been younger my interest would of course have been piqued but she was older. 

So I just don't know. I feel I'm ugly but I've never had any REAL notice from girls my age to tell me anything different. I get made fun of a lot and this has probably lowered my self-esteem a lot.


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## Futures

Well I decided to put my pic on hotornot. The pic I chose is what I'd consider fairly representative of what I look like. Although I have a depressed facial expression in the pic.

After 44 votes so far, I'm an 8 and "hotter than 78% of the men on the site."

I suspect as I gather more votes, it will probably come down to around 6 or so. 

I'm still not convinced though that this is an accurate indicator. I think I need to find a wide range of pictures of myself, and post them all seperately and see how the votes differ. That might give me a better idea of where I stand.


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## Eraserhead

*Re: re: Not knowing if you're good looking or ugly*



GlueEater said:


> lol I know what you mean. I look in the mirror and tell myself "well I'm not the worse guy". But I can only say that in my own bathroom mirror when no one's around. I often look at my reflection in windows as I'm passing by (pretending to look inside, I hope to god no one has seen through this) and I don't see the same person I saw in my bathroom mirror. But maybe I don't look so creepy when I'm more comfortable.
> Kinda funny if it didn't suck so much.


Same thing with me, pretty much.

I'll usually look at myself in the mirror and think "not bad". Especially when I'm nicely dressed and groomed. But when I'm outside and I look at my reflection on various surfaces, I generally look horrible. It's impossible for me to objectively judge the attractiveness of my face...


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## Sabrina

*Re: re: Not knowing if you're good looking or ugly*



Nicolay said:


> I'll usually look at myself in the mirror and think "not bad". Especially when I'm nicely dressed and groomed. But when I'm outside and I look at my reflection on various surfaces, I generally look horrible. It's impossible for me to objectively judge the attractiveness of my face...


^^^what up with that? I'm the same way. When i look at myself in the bathroom mirror when i'm all done up, i look between average and cute, but as soon as i look elsewhere i look horrible. Expecially when i look at myself on a webcam,digital camera,rearview mirror i just look god awful. My skin, everything looks bad. Its like i look different in every mirror. I still don't know if i'm truly ugly are just average. Its weird. I look terrible in photos...maybe i'm just not photogenic. My ID pic from DMV is just horrid..ewww. Before i left home, i looked at myself and i looked good, but the photo didn't look like nothing what i saw at home in the mirror. Maybe its the lighting. i just don't know how i look. This is one of the reasons why i have SA. I always feel too ugly to be seen. I got called alot in school, but when i look at all of my old school photos, i'm not ugly at all. I look cute and decent. I don't see why i was called ugly. I hate people who are photogenic and have a good idea of what they look like.


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## GlueEater

yeah, I don't know if it's just our perception or if it's the lighting. Every picture I've ever took I think I look awkward and weird, no one makes a comment on it so it might be how I really am.

And you gotta take in that you are a hella lot more comfortable in your own bathroom than in public or on camera.

nah, it's the lighting.


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## Failure

A good indicator is going to the beach if you live near the coast. Girls around 16-20 will check you out if you're a good looking guy. They probably wont come and talk to you but they'll look at you alot, talk to their friends and laugh ect... you can notice it easily.

You can generally tell by the way a girl looks at you, she'll dart eyes away when you catch her or smile at you. But most people with SA will look away too. If you're not terrible looking the girl is probably checking you out if you notice this alot. Always exceptions but this is the general rule.

As a guy you will not get compliments very much at all if you've never talked to the girl before. Girls tend to like talking to outgoing and fun guys more, but that doesn't mean you're not good looking if they dont talk to you. Only really bold girls will come up and compliment a guy or start talking to him, this will lower your self confidence if you're shy because youll notice you get less attention. But you'll get looks at least if you're not bad looking.


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## andy1984

I think I'm probably about a 4. I guess I try not to care about it too much. Whenever I post a pic in the forums here its followed by an eerie silence.


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## keyscloud

honestly id say that im about a 6. not ugly but definitely not approaching "hottie" status. when i was in middle school i got a lot of attention from cute girls, but in college i get pretty much zero looks or smiles from anyone. somewhere along the way acne and puberty hit me with the ugly stick pretty hard. :sigh


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## mayblue

It's hard to know. I've always had attention from men, but also people have told me I'm ugly. I think I have a really weird face that can sometimes look hideous and other times cute.


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## MoonBear777

Ha! 

Yuppers. 

I am pretty much clueless about how I appear to others, especially to guys. My ex-boyfriend said I was kinda 'cute'...sooooo....I guess I'm definitely NOT in the hot category. lol

I don't look good in pictures, imo. My naturally curly brown hair is always tied back, and if I let it out, it's a wild mane to tame. Thank you genes from my mom's side. :roll 

As far as getting attention from guys, I don't think I get it as much as the tall skinny blonde walking ahead of me. I would rate myself as 'average', to say the least, but I think that's cuz I walk around in cargo pants and a hooded top most of the time. Not exactly 'looker' material. I guess if I dressed up, I'd get the looks, but I hate dressing up. :stu 

Ackh... beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Somebody will find something special about you that they adore. Attractive qualities can be very subjective.


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## IcedOver

A lot of times my appraisal of my own looks depends on my mood. If I'm feeling okay I think I look passable but if I'm feeling really down I consider myself quite hideous. But overall it's hard to look at oneself objectively when you know how sad and broken you are inside. People seeing you on the street can't possibly know those things so all they have to go on are your looks. I'm slowly trying to accept my appearance and feel better about it and look for things that are attractive. 

One thing I have going for me is my voice. I'm a thin guy but I have a deep baritone voice like a newscaster. I have the same thin/nerdy aspect as Tobey Maguire/Spider-Man but I sound like Superman. I believe my voice kind of "ups" my looks a bit. 

I got a haircut last week and right now my hair looks pretty good so I'm feeling generally okay about my looks. Yesterday I was arriving Downtown on the bus and a REALLY cute girl got on the bus and sat in the seat opposite me on the other side of the aisle. I'd never seen her before and she was a very classy looking woman. I didn't look at her after she sat down but could kind of see her looking my way out of my peripheral vision. As I got up to leave the bus I made a point to quickly glance at her and she was looking at me but swiftly averted her gaze when I looked at her. Was she checking me out? Hmmm.


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## Nae

*Re: re: Not knowing if you're good looking or ugly*

I am happy this thread was bumped up because I had a comment about my comment:



Nae said:


> In person I never make eye contact with people and I usually look down so I'm sure I dont look like somebody most people would wanna talk to,
> 
> 
> 
> I think how we carry ourselves in public is a bigger issue than how we look and you are right things such as SA & Low Self Esteem affect (effect?) the way we present ourselves. Eye movement, our physical stance, etc.
Click to expand...

After I wrote this I read a chapter in David Sloan's Evolution for Everyone entitled 'The beauty of Abraham Lincoln' in which 3 studies were carried out to test if beauty is not only judged by the physical, but also non-physical personality traits. You can read a short summary here:

http://www.news.wisc.edu/releases/9679.html

What is beautiful is good may also be What is good is beautiful.



> At the end of their paper, the researchers offer this beauty tip: "If you want to enhance your physical attractiveness, become a valuable social partner."


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## justlistening

*Re: re: Not knowing if you're good looking or ugly*



MoonBear777 said:


> My naturally curly brown hair is always tied back, and if I let it out, it's a wild mane to tame. Thank you genes from my mom's side. :roll


I love curly wild hair!


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## jane

Futures, does it really matter if you're a 5 or a 9?? Are you just curious or do you think it will affect your life?


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## Micronian

ugly? beautiful? I think it's just a case of attitude and personality, because most people fall somewhere in between anyway. You've gotta be really hideous to really be "Ugly", like having something growing out of your face, missing an eye, having no teeth, or some abnormal growth on your skin. In other words, something extreme.

Sadly, the concept of height does not play by those same rules. I've heard women from all ages, nationalities, income levels, complain about guys heights when they are too short. I've seen women dismiss possible dates/partners because the men were a couple of inches shorter than them. The classic excuse: "He's too short". You'll definitely hear that more often than "he's too ugly".
:stu


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## Bon

It's all in the eye of the beholder guys;-) When I was a teen I used to be compared to Elizabeth Taylor or Marylin Monroe, not in looks but in beauty, I had no clue that this was a good thing! (Yes Drella;-) I know, I know, but too me, it's a good thing;-DDD)

Now, I know I'm not ugly, I also know I'm not God's gift to man, I can now look in the mirror and concentrate on the positives sure, I wish I didn't have this zit, or line here or there, but I do.......So what, nothing I can do with it, I think with age comes self acceptance. From my personal experience the more comfortable I become with myself, the more attention I seem to get from the opposite sex.


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## scairy

Trip Fontaine said:


> Future, I share you thoughts entirely but I believe the reality is different.
> 
> Did you ever happen to be sitting in front of a beautiful girl but were afraid to look? When people notice someone they find attractive they are most likely to do the opposite and actually don't look.
> 
> Do you agree?


I think that's just us. And if that is the case then it just proves my thought process that I'm one weird/scairy/psycho looking guy because I'll see girls look over at me from the corner of my eye but I will refuse to turn and look but they'll continue to look. It feels like they're watching exactly where I am in relation to them because they fear I'm going to do something? Funny thing is if I ever look usually they look away. This too makes me think it's a lack of looks. Kind of like if you see someone bleeding really bad and you know it's going to make you sick if you look but you look anyway. I think that's kind of how my looks are; bad looking but so bad you just can't help but look, lol.

That being said I've had 1 drunk girl say I was cute. 2 girls from the forum said I was cute  But outside of family that is just 3 girls out of all my years of existence. In highscool I vaguely remember a girl walking up to me saying her friend over in a group standing at a distance liked me but the girl that said it and everyone in the distant group was laughing. Then again my highschool consisted of the "in" kids and the few that were outcasts to all and that was me. Only one girls opinion matters to me right now anyway  so...


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## pyramidsong

*Re: re: Not knowing if you're good looking or ugly*



IcedOver said:


> One thing I have going for me is my voice. I'm a thin guy but I have a deep baritone voice like a newscaster. I have the same thin/nerdy aspect as Tobey Maguire/Spider-Man but I sound like Superman. I believe my voice kind of "ups" my looks a bit.


For what it's worth, I find Tobey Maguire very sexy, especially as Spiderman/Peter Parker. There are girls who like a nerdy man.


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## IcedOver

*Re: re: Not knowing if you're good looking or ugly*



pyramidsong said:


> IcedOver said:
> 
> 
> 
> One thing I have going for me is my voice. I'm a thin guy but I have a deep baritone voice like a newscaster. I have the same thin/nerdy aspect as Tobey Maguire/Spider-Man but I sound like Superman. I believe my voice kind of "ups" my looks a bit.
> 
> 
> 
> For what it's worth, I find Tobey Maguire very sexy, especially as Spiderman/Peter Parker. There are girls who like a nerdy man.
Click to expand...

Hey, I hope that some girls do like a nerdy man! :stu


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## alish0777

I had someone stare at me just to call me a real ugly woman. With four children I do not look bad but not good either so maybe soon to be ex-husband is right. I ought to go hide my face to never be seen again


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## shynesshellasucks

I'm pretty sure I'm ugly looking, although people have not been mean enough to call me ugly. I rate myself around a 3/10 IMO.


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## missalyssa

I'm good looking because of working out hella a lot, fashion, really nice expensive hair and lots of makeup (well-applied and natural looking so it seems like I'm NOT wearing a ****load of makeup).
Otherwise I'm pretty hideous naturally.
It kinda sucks cause it takes me like 45 minutes to be pretty.
So people think I'm good looking and I like it but I know the truth lol


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## panda

I put 2 different-angled pictures of myself on hotornot.. on one I got a 4.something & the other I got a 7.something o_o
that was back when I was brave enough to post pics online.
I haven't been called ugly since grade school, but I don't get much attention from guys, and I have no one outside my family to give me feedback really, so I have no clue.


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## Rex92

missalyssa said:


> I'm good looking because of working out hella a lot, fashion, really nice expensive hair and lots of makeup (well-applied and natural looking so it seems like I'm NOT wearing a ****load of makeup).
> Otherwise I'm pretty hideous naturally.
> It kinda sucks cause it takes me like 45 minutes to be pretty.
> So people think I'm good looking and I like it but I know the truth lol


You sound like a normal girl to me!


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## ScrewHappiness

I think the saying is true:

"If you have to ask... it probably means......" but then again.. some of us are just overly negative. Can you judge others?? Are there people who look like you, who you can get a sense of how they're seen by the opp. sex??


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## Liana27

I get complimented everyday by my partner which makes me feel good. When I go out clubbing, I get complimented by men like 'you're beautiful' and stuff but I know what they're after. I have had quite a few girls who have said I'm pretty which is nice. I wouldn't class myself as pretty, I think I'm ok, not pretty, not ugly but I feel like I'm getting old now. I'm 27.


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## Fanta can

I can't tell if I'm attractive or not. I've had a couple of girls tell me that I'm cute, which was an enormous ego boost. xD But then in high school, there was this one chick that called me ugly to my face, and it wasn't in a joking manor. I felt like shi_t_ for the rest of the day...

I have no idea how attractive I am though. I really wish I had a good friend that could just be honest with me. I'm sensitive, but I appreciate brutal honesty. It might hurt to know that I'm hideous, but at least they could tell me what I can improve on! I need a fashion advisor or something. Not knowing how attractive you are isn't a good feeling, especially if you're extremely shy like I am. I know for a fact my demeanor isn't attractive. I'm shaky, talk quietly in a deep voice, and don't make a whole lot of eye contact. I need to give off a better vibe, I think.


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## Karuni

I know I'm not that great looking. I'd say below average at best. I know I'm not absolutely hideous to the point people stare in awe, but just blah enough to be completely invisible to every male. I have never been complimented/hit on/even talked to by a male randomly. It's like I'm not even a woman. I had two friends who crushed on me once but that was after they got to know me. 

The only time I've worn full makeup was for my senior photos. I looked NOTHING like myself, and I absolutely hated how I looked. It was NOT me in personality. uke


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## Rainbowmuffin

Invisible_girl said:


> Really?Then I must be real ugly :lol
> 
> I don't know if I think this is true all the time,but I might be wrong...


Me too!!!! Guys never look at me, i'm virtually invisable.


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## DI117

I don't get very much attention from the ladies, but the only time I'm really in contact with them is on the subway or at work. Neither of which are very conducive to that type of thing. In high school I passed over a few opportunities, but these were after the girls had gotten to know me outside of a first impression. College was a sausage fest so not much happened there, I was borderline stalked by a couple of really creepy girls though. The interesting thing is that I have red hair, and a lot of people in general have told me that I should dye my hair a different color just to see what happens. 

Moral of the story I guess is that :
1. Don't be a red haired guy 
& 2. People are shallow


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## shelbster18

I don't think I'm good looking. I've never heard a guy say I'm pretty. In 7th grade, a guy told me that I should smile more often because I have a pretty smile. :roll But that's as far as it went. And a few of my relatives have told me that I'm pretty. I think I look weird in my pictures.


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## IcoRules

I don't think I'm attractive. I don't think I'm hideous, but I am afraid I'll offend someone with my looks sometimes. Even though I've had multiple men say they find me attractive I either think - they're desperate, it's a lie or dare or they have some sort of fetish for strange looking/unattractive women. 

There are some days I look in the mirror and think I don't look that bad, but that's usually in the right light and angle.


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## xTKsaucex

yeah I know I'm not particularly good looking. Doesn't really phase me though. Just get on with the sh*t-fest that is life.


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## Tino

I look in the mirror and think I look alright, but I always get passed over. I'm probably deluded.


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## srschirm

Wow how odd, I just saw my comment from 4 years ago on the first page, and I still feel the same way. Sometimes I think I'm alright, then others I'm not sure. But overall I think I'm about average.


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## Sports155

*am I really gross looking*

cid:C484BC65-1415-46CD-AA51-848D3D103303

I can't tell. I never get attention from girls. I'm a sophomore in a boarding school in Cali. I feel like I'm probably ugly. Am I actually that gross, or am I at least average looking enough to date a decent girl? I'm not asking for a bunch of complements but I just need to know I'm not disgusting


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## KILOBRAVO

I cant tell if I look OK or not.

I can only look at myself in the bathroom mirror and sometimes think I look good-ish, but all feeling of this completely evaporates the second I walk outside.

I sometimes think that one side of my face looks different( worse) from the other, but I cant work that out either, and no-one has ever said anything............

I then have to make sure I dont see my reflection in a shop window , or worse the many mirrors that are inside clothes shops......I basically spend most of the time looking down at the floor, im very averse to looking up in any direction in case i get a random reflection.

when I am walking past any girls I tend to survey in the few seconds the passing lasts, if they are in anyway checking me out.........Ive never seen any one even look twice, but then how would I know what they are thinking anyway????........seems a bit stupid really.
I am mostly sure they are thinking either nothing or that guys a bit ugly.....

Sometimes I think, why the hell is she *not* looking at me then, i spent time trying to make myself as presentable as I can, and its like they are ignoring the effort............

this is very confusing sometimes..........


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## MrMongrel

Shauna The Dead said:


> Cause I never get out in this town...I don't really care for most people around here, except the few friends I do have here.


Seriously? In Louisville?

There's PHT, The Mag Bar, Akikos, 4th Street Live (yuck), Hikes Point Lounge, and tons and tons of coffee shops all just waiting with friends that you've never met yet :clap

We've been rated the most livable city in the nation as well as the most friendly.

Then again, we also watch more online porn than any other city :clap

So we're a bunch of friendly pervs with affordable houses :yes
​


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## melissa75

I'm okay with my looks and would say I'm average looking. However, I never get complimented or approached, so it does make me wonder if I'm not seeing something that someone else is.


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## MrMongrel

melissa75 said:


> I'm okay with my looks and would say I'm average looking. However, I never get complimented or approached, so it does make me wonder if I'm not seeing something that someone else is.


Is it possible that you're intimidating?

To be honest, a lot of people won't approach if they think someone might be 'above their pay grade' per se.

I personally think that it's silly instinct at play, but it tends to be a natural reaction.
​


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## TPower

MrMongrel said:


> Is it possible that you're intimidating?​
> To be honest, a lot of people won't approach if they think someone might be 'above their pay grade' per se. ​
> I personally think that it's silly instinct at play, but it tends to be a natural reaction.​


To people with SA maybe..

Otherwise, there are arrogant douchebags everywhere. I don't believe for a second that an attractive women doesn't get approached for being "intimidating".


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## melissa75

MrMongrel said:


> Is it possible that you're intimidating?​
> To be honest, a lot of people won't approach if they think someone might be 'above their pay grade' per se. ​
> I personally think that it's silly instinct at play, but it tends to be a natural reaction.​


I really doubt that I'm intimidating because I smile and say hi to people, even strangers. I try to make myself approachable by being friendly. I've had pretty friends that were approached by guys. So, I feel there must be something about me that isn't attractive. Oh well, I'm a bit used to it at this point .


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## erasercrumbs

Wondering if you're ugly is rough, but _knowing_ you are is pretty bad too. The certainty of it isn't very comforting, heh heh.


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## Peter Attis

Here's how you know you're ugly:

Go into your bathroom, lock the door, and with the lights turned off, say "Bloody Mary" three times while staring DIRECTLY into the mirror.

If nothing happens, you're probably ugly.

If something happens... then you're probably dead, so this post is of no use to you.


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## proximo20

Invisible_girl said:


> Really?Then I must be real ugly :lol
> 
> I don't know if I think this is true all the time,but I might be wrong...


It depends on the culture. Norwegian men are not like Italians.


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## SusanStorm

proximo20 said:


> It depends on the culture. Norwegian men are not like Italians.


Kind of and I know what you mean by Norwegians not being the most open people,but still as a Norwegian I do know my own culture so I notice what kind of people that get a lot of attention.
I'm not one of them and never have been either because I'm shy,quiet and I also have a low self esteem.

When I was younger and went out with a friend of mine she would get all the attention because she was blonde and had a bubbly personality.So western men aren't that different..


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## MrMongrel

melissa75 said:


> I really doubt that I'm intimidating because I smile and say hi to people, even strangers. I try to make myself approachable by being friendly. I've had pretty friends that were approached by guys. So, I feel there must be something about me that isn't attractive. Oh well, I'm a bit used to it at this point .


Getting used to something that is unacceptable to you is tantamount to throwing your hands in the air and yelling 'I give up!'

.....And I know that you're better than that 

If you don't think that it's an 'I'm too good for you' aura that you give off, could it be the opposite?

For instance - say you're out at a club/dive/wherever.

If you're standing around, waiting on a drink, what is your natural 'pose'?

It might be something as simple as seeming 'closed off' to the world. There are a lot of people who do this and don't even realize that they're doing it!
​


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## Shauna The Dead

MrMongrel said:


> Seriously? In Louisville?
> 
> There's PHT, The Mag Bar, Akikos, 4th Street Live (yuck), Hikes Point Lounge, and tons and tons of coffee shops all just waiting with friends that you've never met yet :clap
> 
> We've been rated the most livable city in the nation as well as the most friendly.
> 
> Then again, we also watch more online porn than any other city :clap
> 
> So we're a bunch of friendly pervs with affordable houses :yes
> ​


I dont live in Louisville, never have. I hate Louisville though, the traffic is ****ty.


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## GPU

> Here's how you know you're ugly:
> 
> Go into your bathroom, lock the door, and with the lights turned off, say "Bloody Mary" three times while staring DIRECTLY into the mirror.
> 
> If nothing happens, you're probably ugly.
> 
> If something happens... then you're probably dead, so this post is of no use to you.


lol

edit: you have cojones dude... you don't play with spirits all willy nilly....


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## GPU

good looking...









ugly looking...


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## zer0small

I've struggled with this a lot.
I guess I've just come to the conclusion that I'm not hideous, just not blatantly attractive.
Exceptionally mediocre ^_^ lol


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## wienermobile

I'm lucky in the sense that I know where I stand:

I'm a solid 3.5/10. Uglier than most, but not so strikingly so that it's the first thing you notice about me or that it affects anything other than my love life.


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## mistyeyes

Dudleyville said:


> I am so ugly that people put my picture in their car window as an anti-theft device.But yeah I am definitely below average in the looks department which would explain why every female I have ever asked out has rejected me and also by the very low ratings I get in sites that judge you by how you look.


Boo hoo! Is someone having a pity party? Geez Louise.. Guess you better give up on dating since you're soooo ugly.


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## AloneTillTheEnd

Everyone finds different things attractive. One person may completely hate your brown hair while another person may love it. Depends on the person really. I've been told I'm ugly by people yet told I'm beautiful by others.

I find myself attractive, I know where I stand. But then again I care about my appearance and maintain an image. Others may disagree with me and find me repulsive. But eh, millions of people out there, not all of them will find you unattractive or attractive.


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## Losm

I feel distinctly average on a good day!


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## NoIce

I don't concern myself with it unless it's called out in the positive.

And even at that, knowing whether I am +/- of some scale isnt going to affect how I act.


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## arpeggiator

I think I look fine. No one has told me the opposite, so why not?


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin

I'm not conventionally good looking, but it doesn't really matter. Some girls are still attracted to me, beauty is a shifting concept and it's not for any one person to define.


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## ThisGuy

^ Because you're good looking. :lol

I'd really like to just not care anymore.


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin

ThisGuy said:


> ^ Because you're good looking. :lol
> 
> I'd really like to just not care anymore.


I'm really not, I don't want to get into head measurements but I am way out of phi.

If you'd really like to do something, would you not just do it?


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## ThisGuy

^ I've seen you in one of the Member Albums threads. It's cool that you're modest.

I don't know... Motivation, fear, self-consciousness, etc, ha? I'm working on it.


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## Help please

I feel the same, but once my friend told me this girl was totally checking me out as I was staring in the other direction questioning the same thing, try to bring a friend along because what is said above may happen, you just don't see it...


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## Blawnka

I've thought I was ugly since I was like 12 years old, I have friends and family telling me I'm not, but I just don't see them being honest with me, probably just trying to make me feel better or something.


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## kreeper

Rather than trying to label yourself "hot" or "ugly," I would just try and appreciate the features and physical qualities you have. I have found that trying to figure out how others perceive you really does not solve anything --- if you have low confidence, you will probably misinterpret others' reactions to you anyways. If you think you're good-looking, then you probably are. Physical attraction is a complex, semi-subjective thing too, so some people will always find you more appealing than will others. 

If you really want a variety of opinions, upload pictures online to some photo-rating or dating site --- you will get an idea of how people (at least a certain type of Internet-going people) perceive you.


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## tbyrfan

I'm totally clueless about it, and it's torturous. Men NEVER give me attention - they never even look at me - and if they do, they immediately avert their eyes in disinterest. Men have called me ugly to my face numerous times as well. (For some reason, the only male attention I get is on this site - and my small avatar looks just like me in person. I don't get it.) Girls, on the other hand, will tell me i'm beautiful/gorgeous/etc. all the time, but it doesn't matter coming from girls because they tell that stuff to EVERYONE. If I weren't ugly, men would be attracted to me, and I would probably have a boyfriend. It's so hard to tell whether you are attractive or not when one gender tells you you are ugly and another tells you the opposite!


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## Ape in space

My mom tells me I'm handsome, but I don't know whether to trust her or not.


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## Blawnka

tbyrfan said:


> I'm totally clueless about it, and it's torturous. Men NEVER give me attention - they never even look at me - and if they do, they immediately avert their eyes in disinterest. Men have called me ugly to my face numerous times as well. (For some reason, the only male attention I get is on this site - and my small avatar looks just like me in person. I don't get it.) Girls, on the other hand, will tell me i'm beautiful/gorgeous/etc. all the time, but it doesn't matter coming from girls because they tell that stuff to EVERYONE. If I weren't ugly, men would be attracted to me, and I would probably have a boyfriend. It's so hard to tell whether you are attractive or not when one gender tells you you are ugly and another tells you the opposite!


I see nothing wrong with the way you look, you're quite beautiful and your taste of music and books is great, you can relate to me, I'm sure you could to other guys. Keep yo head up.


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## MTLQuebec

Growing up, I didn't get any female attention so I assumed I wasn't good looking. Don't really get much now either, but I guess it's better than what I got growing up.


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## ratbag

People have found me attractive when I was younger and I wore makeup. Now that I don't wear makeup I still get a few people who seem interested, but I just don't really know what I look like.


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## Elleire

Well, no, I'm not clueless about that. I know I'm not attractive because I'm _really_ fat. What makes me most anxious is having no idea just HOW fat I actually look to other people. I mean, I'm obviously obese. I know that. But sometimes I feel that I don't look as fat as I am-- like some kind of Anna Nicole Smith syndrome or something. I've googled pictures of women who're my height and weight, and they do look huge. Do I look like that, too? I don't know. I must, but why don't I see [all of] it? :um I know I'm weirdly-proportioned, but still. I wish I could find 100 people of all different sexual orientations, marital statuses, ages, and whatever else, who'd each give me a 100% honest answer when I ask how much they think I weigh.

I know I should be far more concerned about losing the weight than where I fall on the whale spectrum, but I still wish I knew.


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## wrongnumber

I know I have the type of looks where it's not obvious, it's something you have to decide.


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## bsd3355

I think it is damn near impossible sometimes to tell. Sometimes you can't tell if someone is being sincere or nice. I get rejected a lot when I try to date (A LOT). Then sometimes I look at myself and think I'm hansom. Then somedays I think I'm ugly. I can post pictures of myself all day long but it feels like vanity. Mirrors CAN lie and so can cameras - telling their own specific story. And then on top of all that people supposedly have "preferences" that are "subjective" from one another.

It is one of those things I can never be sure of.


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## Revan

Well, when I look in the mirror in the morning I don't think I look that bad. Not the best looking but not bad either. Whenever I see a picture of myself...*sigh* different story...I'm talking 'what-girl-would-want-to-be-seen-with-this' ugly. I don't know which to trust more. Possibly photograph since I guess that's how people see me in real life whereas the mirror is flipped the other way round. My family tells me I'm good looking but I think they just say it to be nice. Supposedly, I look like my brother and I wouldn't say he's bad looking. He gets female attention all the time. I've never once been approached by a member of the opposite sex and told I look hot or anything. Never been asked out on a date either so if that's anything for me to go by...yeah. Oh well. I guess it's just one of those things. Either you have it or you don't. I just try to make up for it with my personality.



tbyrfan said:


> I'm totally clueless about it, and it's torturous. Men NEVER give me attention - they never even look at me - and if they do, they immediately avert their eyes in disinterest. Men have called me ugly to my face numerous times as well. (For some reason, the only male attention I get is on this site - and my small avatar looks just like me in person. I don't get it.) Girls, on the other hand, will tell me i'm beautiful/gorgeous/etc. all the time, but it doesn't matter coming from girls because they tell that stuff to EVERYONE. If I weren't ugly, men would be attracted to me, and I would probably have a boyfriend. It's so hard to tell whether you are attractive or not when one gender tells you you are ugly and another tells you the opposite!


tbyrfan, if I may say so, I don't think you look ugly by any stretch of the word. Dunno who these guys are who have called you ugly. Maybe they need their eyes testing. I think you actually look very attractive and that's coming from a guy, for what it's worth.


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## Jamipat

Some mirrors tell me I'm normal looking, some tells me i'm semi-good looking, while some tell me I'm good looking.
The same thing goes for my photos. The best way is probably through a video camera. But one thing I know is that I'm definetely not ugly. I'm either normal looking, semi-good looking or good looking. One of those three.


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## Josh90

I don't think I'm ugly, I just look weird. Weird undeveloped body and unusual face.


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## Rossy

I am not sure but I seem to get a lot of female attention,losing over 60 pounds of weight might have something to do with it


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## nycdude

I don't know, I have never been called ugly or handsome except for family members who say I look handsome, but I think they are just being nice.


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## offbyone

tbyrfan said:


> I'm totally clueless about it, and it's torturous. Men NEVER give me attention - they never even look at me - and if they do, they immediately avert their eyes in disinterest. Men have called me ugly to my face numerous times as well. (For some reason, the only male attention I get is on this site - and my small avatar looks just like me in person. I don't get it.) Girls, on the other hand, will tell me i'm beautiful/gorgeous/etc. all the time, but it doesn't matter coming from girls because they tell that stuff to EVERYONE. If I weren't ugly, men would be attracted to me, and I would probably have a boyfriend. It's so hard to tell whether you are attractive or not when one gender tells you you are ugly and another tells you the opposite!


Not to creep you out or anything but whenever I'm looking at someone that I am attracted to and she catches me doing it I immediately avert my eyes so as to not be caught. I doubt it's Happening to you from lack of interest and far more likely to be out of ebarassment. Especially when it happens in a place where you don't usually try and pick someone up like random shopping or public transport. You definitely aren't ugly and I don't know what kind of ******* would say that to anyone besides children or teenagers, who you can't trust anyway.

Do you put yourself in situations where you would likely get it on like bars or whatever?

Edit: oh you're 19, not trying to advocate for underaged drinking.


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## Glue

I am well aware that I'm below average looking.


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## bsd3355

I guess one way to find out is to make a poll and put your picture up for a rating. You could use multiple pictures of different angles and lighting, etc, to get a more accurate accumulative total.


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## rdrr

Sometimes I forget what I look like, then I'll glance in the mirror, and sigh and walk away.


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## AllToAll

I like the way I look. I think that's all that should matter...


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## tbyrfan

offbyone said:


> Not to creep you out or anything but whenever I'm looking at someone that I am attracted to and she catches me doing it I immediately avert my eyes so as to not be caught. I doubt it's Happening to you from lack of interest and far more likely to be out of ebarassment. Especially when it happens in a place where you don't usually try and pick someone up like random shopping or public transport. You definitely aren't ugly and I don't know what kind of ******* would say that to anyone besides children or teenagers, who you can't trust anyway.
> 
> Do you put yourself in situations where you would likely get it on like bars or whatever?
> 
> Edit: oh you're 19, not trying to advocate for underaged drinking.


I guess a situation similar to a bar would be a nightclub, which i've been to a few times. Nobody even looked at or approached me there except for 2 or 3 creepy, drunken men who were just desperate to find someone to dance/hook up with. They were going around to EVERYONE. I don't even get a second glance in places where people are normally hit on, which seems to me like pretty legitimate proof that i'm uglier than a baboon's butt lol


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## Rossy

^No your not


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## AllToAll

tbyrfan said:


> I guess a situation similar to a bar would be a nightclub, which i've been to a few times. Nobody even looked at or approached me there except for 2 or 3 creepy, drunken men who were just desperate to find someone to dance/hook up with. They were going around to EVERYONE. I don't even get a second glance in places where people are normally hit on, which seems to me like pretty legitimate proof that i'm uglier than a baboon's butt lol


Do you look extremely drunk while at a bar? Do you dance provocatively while looking into a guy's eyes? No? Well that's why you are not getting attention, because by the look of your picture, youre a conventionally attractive woman. I see no baboon's butt anywhere...

I've noticed that in bars men tend to go for the "easiest prey," meaning the young drunk girls who've partially lost the ability to stand.


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## Xande

I think I would be average looking if not for my height, my height makes me look like a little kid. HATE being shorter than a 12 year old and having people point it out.


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## newbeginning516

I can completely relate. But, I can be incredibly insecure about how I look and have been told I have a distorted view of myself. Truthfully I do not know where I stand. I would like to say I am average but may fall short; I can be really hard on myself. Also experienced my fair share of emotionally abusive relationships with men who build you up to break you down. However, I come across as incredibly confident and do not whine about how I look. 

I suppose we should all just be thankful that we our sight, our hearing and are over all fairly healthy. Besides personality overrides any looks.


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## Intron09

I would be swell if I could see the same person in the mirror at home, as I would in public dressing rooms, or a public bathroom. Maybe I just have good lighting at home. I just seem to look so drowsy/moody when I'm outside. I hate the fact that that's the image I'm presenting...


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## Nessy

Fun fact: the average person think they are above average looking


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## Barette

I'm not sure what I look like. Some day's I'm ugly, some days I'm pretty, and some days I'm in between. Though, if I could change my looks, I would in a heartbeat.


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## trendyfool

I think I look ok. I'm not overtly attractive or conventionally hot, but to me, that's a good thing. However I often struggle with how I feel about my body and feeling like I don't measure up to the standard of what a guy's body should look like in America. I would say it's never very productive to compare your own looks to someone else's.


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## gusstaf

I'm not sure it's always that easy for women to know how they look. For example, I get a small amount of attention from guys in bars, but they're always super drunk. I never get attention elsewhere, but I'm not sure that it's me being ugly...it could just be that my SA makes me send out the wrong signal. But I've never really thought I was particularly attractive.


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## feverfew

Barette said:


> I'm not sure what I look like. Some day's I'm ugly, some days I'm pretty, and some days I'm in between. Though, if I could change my looks, I would in a heartbeat.


This is exactly how I feel. The funny thing is, if 10 people said i was attractive and 1 said I was ugly, I would see it as a win for ugly :blank


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## Insane1

@feverfew-Yeah,same here.. 

I got this problem aswell,some days I look in the mirror and think "Damn,I look like crap" and some days I feel good about myself.
People,it's all about confidence and knowing how to talk... I know guys that aren't really attractive and they get what they want,I've seen it before..
For girls.. not all men are confident,nobody is gonna come at you if you just stand there waiting, if you're at a party or somewhere and you like a guy, give him a sign that you're interested and he might come and talk to you.


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