# Got a job.... but my boss hates shy people.



## Lana77 (Dec 12, 2014)

Okay so had a job interview yesterday. Got the job despite the fact I was as nervous as hell, sweating, and if I wasn't wearing makeup my face would've been red as a tomato. I acted as confident as possible, smiling, laughing, and such. I had trouble answering a few questions but the manager was nice and helped me. It was for a position at starbucks. She asked me what my friends think of me (I have like zero friends) but I said, "Funny, friendly, smart." Then she asked me, "Would they say you are shy?" I said, "Well I'm shy around people I don't know, people I know well I am not" (Well it takes A LOT for me to feel comfortable around people is the truth... like even after knowing my previous manager for almost a year I still felt really uncomfortable around her) Then she went on to say that this job needs someone outgoing, who can carry out easy conversations with customers, not someone who takes orders and stares at the person in awkward silence as they wait for their drink. She went on to say "I used to be shy until one day I realized I didn't want to be that way anymore and yadda yadda yadda" She somehow hired me anyhow, I took the job as I'm in desperate need of one. My last job the manager asked me if I was shy in the interview I said yes, she had the same kind of spiel, but she hired me somehow anyway. I did my best to interact with customers at that job, but felt that I wasn't very good at it because it never got beyond "Hi, how are you? Can I help you with anything?" 

It just seems like nowadays even to get minimum wage jobs you need to be "outgoing." I am just really hating all this incense against social anxiety people. Like this is not my fault! This is just who I am, I've tried to change it, but I can't because it's ingrained into me. I don't really know if I could say I have SA, I just know that I would rather not speak to others (unless it's on the internet) and I never know what to say, I don't have any desire to get to know others, I can never relate with people and get anxious around them if I don't know them. So I am really nervous for this job now, and I could use any advice I could get.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Yeah it's ****ing retarded. I got yelled at every day for not conversing with the customers. I just said hi how are u do you need help finding anything etc.. It was never enough for my bosses. I grabbed my balls and told them I quit. Didn't even go back in to pick up my paycheck.


Your boss is a ****. DOn't let her walk all over you. Show her you have the power not her.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

So it's a job at Starbucks? That shouldn't have too much need to talk should it? Basically just taking the orders and dealing with the other staff. (I may be wrong though of course)

Maybe just give it a go and try to stay positive. Whenever I've been to Starbucks the people working there don't really talk to customers very much.


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## Lana77 (Dec 12, 2014)

Imbored21 said:


> Yeah it's ****ing retarded. I got yelled at every day for not conversing with the customers. I just said hi how are u do you need help finding anything etc.. It was never enough for my bosses. I grabbed my balls and told them I quit. Didn't even go back in to pick up my paycheck.
> 
> Your boss is a ****. DOn't let her walk all over you. Show her you have the power not her.


At my old job I worked independently by myself, I worked evenings which were EXTREMELY slow, it was at a shoe store, you were lucky if you got one sale at night. No one else was in the store but me, so my boss never really saw how I dealt with customers very much, but I feel if she did she would be criticizing me. I'll just try it and if there are problems like that yeah I don't think I'll tolerate it. I'm also scared that there will be other coworkers there who will be able to sniff out my SA... ugh. It sucks that we have to deal with people who don't understand our lack of talking.


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

must have absolutely fan fan tastic intercommunication skillllllllssss!

Hello! & smile! Mandatory.


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## Lana77 (Dec 12, 2014)

twitchy666 said:


> must have absolutely fan fan tastic intercommunication skillllllllssss!
> 
> Hello! & smile! Mandatory.


thanks! I think I'll just have to fake it until I make it and hope I can relate with my coworkers.... hope they aren't some crazy boy/makeup/tv lovers


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## hmnut (Aug 8, 2011)

I think in the service industry it is not unfair to ask the employees to be friendly "Smile, say hello, ask 'how are you doing?"

But this "you need to be able to hold a conversation with the customers" is utter bull ****.

1. As a consumer... I don't always want to have a long conversation with clerks. 
2. As a consumer... I especially don't want to be in line waiting to order WHILE THE CLERK IS HAVING A LONG CONVERSATION WITH THE GUY IN FRONT OF ME!!!!:mum:mum:mum

I F***ing hate waiters who want to joke around and be my best friend. 

You want a good tip, get my order right, bring it too me in a timely manner. 

Because guess what? If we're friends... I expect a damn discount. 

OP do a good job, hopefully that speaks for itself. If not, just use this job to pad your resume. Next job interview go in confident that "I may be a little shy, but I'm an excellent worker and that's what my costumers respect most." 

Good Luck.

BTW if they fire you for being shy, let us know, maybe we can start a boycott or something.


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## saya2077 (Oct 6, 2013)

It's stupid because whenever I, or if I'm with someone, goes to starbucks or a cafe etc... we just want what we're buying. Not conversation. Just going and making the order, a smile and "thank you, goodbye" then leaving is all well and good. If anything if the cashier is having a long conversation while we're stood there its annoying. It's starbucks, people go in to have coffee and a pastry, does your boss think it's a leisure centre? As long as you can smile, say hi, and be polite that's all you need. Hell, the majority of people who work in fast food places here are pretty abrupt and non-social and they're not insta-fired.


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## unpossible (Aug 7, 2015)

i've never been to starbucks and never plan on going there.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

She'll learn to tolerate shy people now that you're working for her.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

true. as mentioned already many jobs portray to the public like you need this and that and all you do is keep quiet and do your job. no really i cant even get a job for whatever reason theres always something


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## Chasingclouds (Jan 7, 2015)

I wouldn't worry about it, managers can say be outgoing all they want, but the fact of the matter is, is as long as you're doing your job, there's no legitimate excuse for her to fire you. Customers don't want sociability, they want politeness, accuracy and timeliness, at least from what I've seen. That's it.


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## Chasingclouds (Jan 7, 2015)

bruised said:


> They can fire you for any reason at any time except discriminatory reasons. Hell I've been fired before for "struggling" to focus and I was never told about it until I was fired and they didnt specifically tell me in what way I was struggling. I thought I was competent. I was thinking, what the hell is this dumb ***** saying, is she ****ing retarded.


Oh, my bad. I've only had a couple of jobs so I don't no entirely what it's like. :/ I've never been fired for being too shy and I guess employers want people who are like robots these days, who can't think for themselves and are just happy go lucky.


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## Jammer25 (Feb 22, 2014)

My boss hired me because of my more "humble" personality. Now, she wants me to be more outspoken and to make myself more visible in the department.

It's a legitimate critique if I want to move forward in my career, which I do. Problem is, I haven't decided how I want to navigate the explanation for my shyness. I just don't want to come off as vulnerable or weak, or seen as unfit for a promotion. I really need to have a kick in the butt, because this is my job and my potential future.


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## The Sorrow (Aug 29, 2012)

Employers talk a lot about what they want, but then accept what they can get and tolerate more then they say.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## half full (Apr 22, 2016)

If you're planning on sticking around hopefully you get more and more used to it until it becomes second nature or at least more comfortable for you. I agree it sucks to be asked to be outgoing when that's not how you are but to be honest there's no getting around it if it's part of your job and what your supervisor expects.


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## Nothing123 (Oct 3, 2014)

I think u'll be fine so long as u can say hello, hows it going? Then take the order, and wish them a good day and have a smile on ur face  You dnt have time to converse with customers anyway, ur busy working ! Lol. If this boss wants someone chatty she should be working on a talk show program, not at starbucks.


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## saline (Feb 16, 2011)

Lana77 said:


> It just seems like nowadays even to get minimum wage jobs you need to be "outgoing.


Exactly this, OP 
It's kind of soul destroying.
I once went for a job as a shelf stacker, and the interview process was like an audition for 'Big brother' where everyone was competing to be the most confident/outgoing/loud person, and those that were got hired.

However, well done on actually getting hired, and hopefully you'll 'grow into it' a bit


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