# I am attracted to my cousin



## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

might get disgusted so don't read any further if you find the topic disturbing 

Visited the country I was born in and stayed for 2 months, She is 2 or 3 years younger than I am, Her name is Sarah, I don't know why but I felt easier to talk to her compared to other girls, I felt comfortable actually but still a little nervous and it was probably the best I ever talked to a girl my age, so every time I saw her it's like I wanted to see her, I still think about her even though it's been 8 years, it's like knowing that she is my cousin makes me more attracted to her, I don't know why, she said that I didn't talk to her that much but I felt like I did, once she said I had a sexy body like she is very outspoken and she said this even in front of other people there, I just remained quiet and tried not to show any emotions, I was like "What the hell?" cause my mom was right there. She was one of a few girls I ever liked in my life. She was a girl who actually paid attention to me, and who actually cared about me. Now I must return back to my pathetic life, maybe I should bring this up in therapy which will take place in 1 hour.


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## hmnut (Aug 8, 2011)

Yeah that will give you and your therapist stuff to talk about.

It's hard when the girl (or guy) you really like is not available because of social taboos. But if you are SA and you find yourself in that situation you have to realize part of the reason you are in said situation is BECAUSE of the taboos.

Not that you were going to the family reunion hoping to get laid. But because there was no pressure (because nothing could ever happen) when you talk with her you could be more relaxed with her, AT the same time (because nothing could ever happen) she was probably more playful and friendly and caring with you, than she would normally be with a guy your age whom she found attractive.

Unless your culture allows you to date your cousin AND you are fairly sure this cousin is really attracted to you. My advise would be to continue a friendship with this cousin but realize now it can never be more than that. If you have SA my guess is you don't have A LOT of friends, maybe she can help you be more social. Maybe you can get to know her friends and maybe one of them is like her and you can try dating that one.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

My grandmother wanted to marry her cousin when they were kids. She used to joke "los primos se esprimen." I won't translate because it wouldn't make sense in English, but it's funny to hear coming from a 78 year-old woman. 

I won't lie, as open as I like to think of myself, the whole dating your cousin/relative idea makes me a tad bit uncomfortable, but I do try to stay away from judgments. I don't, fundamentally, see anything wrong with it, but this phrase right here, "...it's like knowing that she is my cousin makes me more attracted to her...", is something you should think more about. Why do you like her more because she's your cousin? What if she weren't? Would you still be attracted to her? What is it about that relationship that changes how you feel about her?


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## darkandempty (Aug 9, 2012)

i have sexual fantasies about my teenage cousin. doesnt bother me in the least because i know im not going to act on them.


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## Strwbrry (Jun 28, 2012)

Very interesting...

Read many things about it. Is it the taboo (in some countries it's accepted) that makes it even more exciting?
I understand it, because she is a girl, and you could talk to her on a personal level, so a connection was made between you.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

Pretty sure it's legal to marry your first cousin. The attraction is possibly a little distasteful to most people, but if it's legal, they can't really criticise you for it. So don't feel too bad about having an interest in her in that sense.

It doesn't really sound healthy to be so preoccupied with somebody eight years on, though. I think maybe you would be right to talk about this with your therapist.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

I had a crush on one of my older cousins (6 years my senior) when I was a kid. Like when I was around age 7-8. Maybe 6 or even 5 to 8.

I have a pair of distant relatives (I don't know if they're second cousins, third cousins or whatever) back in my parents' homeland who married each other. They are first cousins to each other. They have three children. No deformities. The risk of reproducing with a first cousin is greatly exaggerated. That's why it's legal in Canada and much of the US. And if you aren't interested in reproduction and you practice "safe sex" (wear a condom and/or use birth control/IUD), there's absolutely no harm at all having sex with your first cousin. **** gets more "real" when we're talking siblings, parents, aunts/uncles. That kind of thing. Even if you don't reproduce, ever heard of the saying "don't **** where you sleep?" Whether having "relations" with your first cousin or not is right for you depends on whether you're willing to risk sabotaging your non-sexual relationship. I rarely, if ever, see my first cousins.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

darkandempty said:


> i have sexual fantasies about my teenage cousin. doesnt bother me in the least because i know im not going to act on them.


how old is she and how old are you


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## darkandempty (Aug 9, 2012)

MobiusX said:


> how old is she and how old are you


she is 16, i am 30. i am aware of how bad that sounds, but i just dont see the big deal.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

darkandempty said:


> she is 16, i am 30. i am aware of how bad that sounds, but i just dont see the big deal.


are you attracted to girls your age? is it because you feel like your younger than your real age?


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## awfulness (Jul 13, 2009)

speaking as someone who was infatuated with a person who just played with my feelings for the longest time.

get over it. other girls are just as pretty and just as fun and attractive and will make you feel the same way that you cousin is making you feel if you give it time. 

you could either push yourself to get over it, or you could keep pining over your cousin... i know which one i would choose.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

I've felt some sort of attraction to 2 of my female cousins when I was little. Both were significantly older than me. It was probably because I hardly ever saw them and they would give me attention and pinch my cheeks and stuff, which I never got from any other females. Plus they were chatty and jokey so I felt (relatively) comfortable around them. Experiences like that are how I know I'm missing out on something by not having a girlfriend. :sigh


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## darkandempty (Aug 9, 2012)

MobiusX said:


> are you attracted to girls your age? is it because you feel like your younger than your real age?


yes, but i prefer teenagers. sometimes i feel like im stuck as a 13 year old forever.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

MobiusX said:


> might get disgusted so don't read any further if you find the topic disturbing
> 
> Visited the country I was born in and stayed for 2 months, She is 2 or 3 years younger than I am, Her name is Sarah, I don't know why but I felt easier to talk to her compared to other girls, I felt comfortable actually but still a little nervous and it was probably the best I ever talked to a girl my age, so every time I saw her it's like I wanted to see her, I still think about her even though it's been 8 years, it's like knowing that she is my cousin makes me more attracted to her, I don't know why, she said that I didn't talk to her that much but I felt like I did, once she said I had a sexy body like she is very outspoken and she said this even in front of other people there, I just remained quiet and tried not to show any emotions, I was like "What the hell?" cause my mom was right there. She was one of a few girls I ever liked in my life. She was a girl who actually paid attention to me, and who actually cared about me. Now I must return back to my pathetic life, maybe I should bring this up in therapy which will take place in 1 hour.


Tell me she isn't your first or 2nd cousin at least.:|


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

theseventhkey said:


> Tell me she isn't your first or 2nd cousin at least.:|


why should it matter?


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

My cousin is also hot as hell. I would never do anything with her though.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

MobiusX said:


> why should it matter?


lol, the farther away from your mother siblings and mother's first cousins, to be honest anything past 3rd cousins is only really a "friend of the family". Jeez, what the hell you mean what does it matter, it's your first cousin, your mother's niece, the same grandparents for christ sakes. You do what you got to do, but it's totally twisted and screwed up :afr


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## awfulness (Jul 13, 2009)

by the way i can't believe you posted this thread with a picture of yourself in your avatar

aren't you worried if someone you know in real life finds out you have the hots for your cousin? lol


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

I wouldn't say its wrong, but do not think that you will have a relationship with her or anything, its very unlikely she will want to due to the whole cousin thing.


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## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

You said you haven't seen her for 8 years? -Also,you've never had a girlfriend? You're just attaching way too much importance and focus on something because you have nothing else. Your thinking isn't balanced -a starving person will lunge for a crumb.


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## Strwbrry (Jun 28, 2012)

awfulness said:


> by the way i can't believe you posted this thread with a picture of yourself in your avatar
> 
> aren't you worried if someone you know in real life finds out you have the hots for your cousin? lol


This I was wondering too.
I'll lurk in the mean time....


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## flarf (May 13, 2010)




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## Ramon (May 24, 2011)

I don't think it's really a big deal. Probably not getting married with her any time soon.


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## yourfavestoner (Jan 14, 2010)

I have a cousin who I think is pretty hot.

I mean come on, what's the big deal? Not like I'd ever try acting on it. She's hot...I mean, what can I say? lol.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

awfulness said:


> by the way i can't believe you posted this thread with a picture of yourself in your avatar
> 
> aren't you worried if someone you know in real life finds out you have the hots for your cousin? lol


it wouldn't be the cousin since she lives in another country and she wouldn't even be able to read this whole site or register on it, the other people if they know me and they for some reason register, so what? What are they going to do about it? approach me and tell me to stop being attracted to my cousin?


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

iwearshirts said:


>


LOL, did you do this or is this from a movie or something?


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## flarf (May 13, 2010)

MobiusX said:


> LOL, did you do this or is this from a movie or something?


hehe its from the show Arrested Development. incest is a recurring theme/gag in the show. also i used to take baths with one of my cousins and now we're both adults and she's very pretty and married and i wonder if she remembers :afr.


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## BobbyByThePound (Apr 4, 2012)

Ditto what Still Waters said. Also, even if your cousin was cool with it you shouldnt try to act on this. It's not some arbitrary cultural thing. Incest is never okay. Even if there's a cultural somewhere where they think it's cool to have sex with your cousin, it would still be wrong.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

BobbyByThePound said:


> Ditto what Still Waters said. Also, even if your cousin was cool with it you shouldnt try to act on this. It's not some arbitrary cultural thing. Incest is never okay. Even if there's a cultural somewhere where they think it's cool to have sex with your cousin, it would still be wrong.


I can't even act on it even if I wanted to since she lives in another country, plus SA. Act on it--- I'm not even talking about sex, just of having a gf.


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## MsDaisy (Dec 27, 2011)

Marriage between distant cousins was common throughout history. It's still quite common today in some places.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

iwearshirts said:


> hehe its from the show Arrested Development. incest is a recurring theme/gag in the show. also i used to take baths with one of my cousins and now we're both adults and she's very pretty and married and i wonder if she remembers :afr.


do you know what season and episode that picture you posted is from?


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## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

Lol at that arrested development scene.

Incest is fun to think about.

I have hot cousins, too. Cousin sex is hot.



> also i used to take baths with one of my cousins and now we're both adults and she's very pretty and married and i wonder if she remembers :afr.


Haha.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

Rufus said:


> Lol at that arrested development scene.
> 
> Incest is fun to think about.
> 
> ...


that father guy or whatever he is, is a freaking idiot, don't know what he was thinking, he wasnt thinking, thats the problem


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## Flame Sixtyone (Aug 27, 2009)

MobiusX said:


> that father guy or whatever he is, is a freaking idiot, don't know what he was thinking, he wasnt thinking, thats the problem


Lol, thats Tobias Funke, he really is an idiot, and totally oblivious to opposite-sex attraction


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I have several hot cousins, but would never do anything with them. 

It's pretty normal to fantasize about things like that, though.


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## JGreenwood (Jan 28, 2011)

If alia shawkat was my cousin I would totally hit it.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Franklin D. Roosevelt married the daughter of his fifth cousin, Elliot Roosevelt; he and Eleanor were fifth cousins, once removed. Albert Einstein's parents were cousins, and he married his cousin, too. Prince Albert and Queen Victoria were 2nd cousins -and former New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani was briefly married to a second cousin. 
In America, marrying your cousin is legal in 25 states and every year about 200,000 cousins wed. 
Worldwide, it's much more common. Twenty percent of all married couples are cousins. In some Middle Eastern countries, almost half of all marriages are to cousins.

Twenty-four states forbid cousin marriages. 
The United States is the only western country in the world where these laws still exist.


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## Twelve Keyz (Aug 28, 2011)

I can relate to what you're saying. One of my (2nd) cousins flirts with me a lot. It's embarassing and I don't understand why the hell she does it. She's hot too, not gonna lie... but it makes things super awkward for me. I'm really worried cuz she's gonna be at the wedding I have to attend soon . You just gotta remember that she's family and it'll probably never happen though.


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## low (Sep 27, 2009)

MobiusX said:


> why should it matter?


My friends parents were cousins. He was born with liver problems. He had three transplants in his life before he died. You do run the risk if you want to have children.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

low said:


> My friends parents were cousins. He was born with liver problems. He had three transplants in his life before he died. You do run the risk if you want to have children.


I don't even want kids. You can have sex without having kids...


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## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

Twelve Keyz said:


> I can relate to what you're saying. One of my (2nd) cousins flirts with me a lot. It's embarassing and I don't understand why the hell she does it. She's hot too, not gonna lie... but it makes things super awkward for me. I'm really worried cuz she's gonna be at the wedding I have to attend soon . You just gotta remember that she's family and it'll *probably* never happen though.


Keyword.

:evil


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

There isn't that much more risk of having kids with birth defects. The risks start increasing when everyone is marrying their cousin. Then generation after generation people become even more related to their cousins. I've read that is why the Pakistanis in the UK have a really high rate of birth defects.



> In April 2002, the Journal of Genetic Counseling released a report which estimated the average risk of birth defects in a child born of first cousins at 1.7-2.8% over an average base risk for non-cousin couples of 3%, or about the same as that of any woman over age 40.[181] In terms of mortality, a 1994 study found a mean excess pre-reproductive mortality rate of 4.4%,[182] While another study published in 2009 suggests the rate may be closer to 3.5%.[2] Put differently, first-cousin marriage entails a similar increased risk of birth defects and mortality as a woman faces when she gives birth at age 41 rather than at 30.[183] Critics argue that banning first-cousin marriages would make as much sense as trying to ban childbearing by older women. After repeated generations of cousin marriage the actual genetic relationship between two people is closer than the most immediate relationship would suggest. In Pakistan, where there has been cousin marriage for generations and the current rate may exceed 50%, one study estimated infant mortality at 12.7 percent for married double first cousins, 7.9 percent for first cousins, 9.2 percent for first cousins once removed/double second cousins, 6.9 percent for second cousins, and 5.1 percent among nonconsanguineous progeny. Among double first cousin progeny, 41.2 percent of prereproductive deaths were associated with the expression of detrimental recessive genes, with equivalent values of 26.0, 14.9, and 8.1 percent for first cousins, first cousins once removed/double second cousins, and second cousins respectively.[


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin_marriage#Biological_aspects

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/newsnight/4442010.stm


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## Twelve Keyz (Aug 28, 2011)

Mimic said:


> if safe sex is practiced and everyone is consenting, then whether it is right or wrong is completely determined by culture.
> 
> I find it funny how everyone here is attracted to their cousins but claim that they would never act on it. Who are you guys trying to convince? Given the right set of circumstances I guarantee that you would act on it, and would be happy to do so.


I think you're right, whether anyone is willing to admit it or not.


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## GD8 (May 7, 2011)

this thread turned out to be even weirder than I thought it would be, jesus



darkandempty said:


> she is 16, i am 30. i am aware of how bad that sounds, but *i just dont see the big deal.*


then you need to be in therapy


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

People shouldn't be getting so worked up over this - it's NORMAL to be attracted to healthy breeding age females. Unless you have some kind of impulse control issues that might make you act on the urge you really have nothing to worry about. Spend time with the cousin and use that as a way to get used to interacting with women. Then when you meet an available woman it will be easier for you to get along. 

But it would be wise NOT to have alcohol when with the hot cousin - it breaks down impulse control.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

scarpia said:


> People shouldn't be getting so worked up over this - it's NORMAL to be attracted to healthy breeding age females. Unless you have some kind of impulse control issues that might make you act on the urge you really have nothing to worry about. Spend time with the cousin and use that as a way to get used to interacting with women. Then when you meet an available woman it will be easier for you to get along.


I agree. Seems like everyone has that hot cousin. I wonder how often the feelings are mutual but no one acts on it out of fear?


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