# Asked a girl out...in a bar of all places!



## Uncomfortably Diurnal (Apr 12, 2011)

I can't really believe I did this. I was at a table, having a beer with a couple of workmates on Friday evening, which is unusual in itself. The bar was pretty quiet, and the few drinks I'd had had loosened me up a bit, so my anxiety levels were relatively low.

I looked around and saw a girl looking at me and she gave me a smile. I _think_ I smiled back, but in reality it probably didn't show on my face, so it probably looked like I was just staring at her. I noticed that she was grabbing her things and was about to leave, so I only had a few seconds to make a decision and act, which definitely helped.

Me: "Hi. I was just wondering if you wanted to have lunch sometime?"

Her: "Yeah, ok."

Me: "Oh! Cool. Can-?"

Her: "You going to give me a business card?"

_(What? Does she only date guys with business cards? I don't even have a car... Who picks up using business cards anyway? Seems like an incredibly arrogant thing to do._ _Do I come across as arrogant? Maybe she's just making fun of me_..._)_

While I was thinking all that, I said: "No no. I'll just give you my number."

_(You idiot! You were supposed to ask her for _her _number!)

_Her: "How about I give you my number instead?"

Me: "Yeah, that's a good idea."

Her: "I'm [her name]."

Me: "Ok. Hold on." (smooth...:no)

_(Why is it taking me so long to find the contacts menu? This is the worst designed phone I've ever had. Man, I hope my deep thinking isn't showing on my face. A great first impression this is. She's probably regretting saying yes already.)

_After what felt like ages... Me: "Alright, I'm ready."

Her: "It's [her number]."

Me (trying to smile): "Got it. I'll give you a text sometime."

She left the bar, and I went back to my table.

I'm going to give her a text later today to see if she wants to go to lunch sometime next week. This is me right now:

:afr :boogie :afr :boogie :afr


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## NoMoreRunnin (Oct 7, 2012)

Proud of you!


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

when a girl is giving u her number just punch it in like u were going to call them and then save it as a contact.... rather than trying to go through ur phone to find the contacts menu... its much faster that way... aside from that, great job dude


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## drowning (Oct 1, 2010)

Well done, great story...let us know how it goes.


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

illmatic1 said:


> when a girl is giving u her number just punch it in like u were going to call them and then save it as a contact.... rather than trying to go through ur phone to find the contacts menu... its much faster that way... aside from that, great job dude


I dont know telling her to hold on is pretty powerful, its like you are giving commands, authorities give commands. Women are attracted to authority and power


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

Zeeshan said:


> I dont know telling her to hold on is pretty powerful, its like you are giving commands, authorities give commands. Women are attracted to authority and power


some, maybe even most, but not all


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## Uncomfortably Diurnal (Apr 12, 2011)

Well, just sent the text. I almost want her to change her mind now lol. I don't handle stress very well. I'll let you all know what happens.



illmatic1 said:


> when a girl is giving u her number just punch it in like u were going to call them and then save it as a contact.... rather than trying to go through ur phone to find the contacts menu... its much faster that way... aside from that, great job dude


Great tip, thanks.



Zeeshan said:


> I dont know telling her to hold on is pretty powerful, its like you are giving commands, authorities give commands. Women are attracted to authority and power


Well I hope this one isn't.


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## tk123 (Jun 27, 2012)

Excellent job buddy! The most important thing is you did it, you weren't a coward. A tip would be to stop listening to that inner nervous voice. Try to shut it out completely. Things will go a lot smoother that way.


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## MikeinNirvana (Dec 2, 2012)

Nice! now maybe she has some sort of SAD and bingo killing two birds with one stone hehe


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## Sleeper92 (Oct 3, 2010)

this post made me smile


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## forex (Dec 29, 2010)

nice.


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## SVIIC (Apr 15, 2005)

Uncomfortably Diurnal said:


> Her: "How about I give you my number instead?"


****ing hell, that's an implication right there.

She's definitely into you .

And I base this... on 0 experience.

She still definitely is though.



Uncomfortably Diurnal said:


> I'm going to give her a text later today to see *if she wants to go to lunch sometime next week*.


DEFINITELY.

A girl giving you her number is a symbol. She willingly gave it to you when it would have been easier for her to just go along with it and get yours.

:yes


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## mist (Nov 22, 2012)

That's so sweet! This post made me smile  Good luck!


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## StrangePeaches (Sep 8, 2012)

Awesome! Great job


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## Uncomfortably Diurnal (Apr 12, 2011)

SVIIC said:


> She willingly gave it to you when it would have been easier for her to just go along with it and get yours.
> 
> :yes


Good point. That's made me worry a little less actually, cheers. Although I'll probably still screw it up from here. :lol

Anyway, she replied to say she doesn't have time for lunch during the week since she works outside of the city, but we could get a drink instead. I suggested Thursday, and hopefully I'll get an answer tomorrow.


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## lambchop (Dec 17, 2012)

great story, i loved your inner thoughts in parenthesis


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## tario (Dec 17, 2012)

Great job man. Remember that voice is always cynical. Just be totally relaxed. Don't overthink, and grab a bwer or two before you go out if you feel nervous. good luck


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## Tryhard (Sep 5, 2012)

haha good work man!


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## StrangePeaches (Sep 8, 2012)

So did the OP contact the girl yet? This post a few days old and I'm curious if anything has happened


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## Sam1911 (Dec 4, 2010)

I'm curious of what happened as well lol


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Wow . Pretty cool :yes


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## Haruhi (Jul 8, 2011)

this makes me nervous just knowing what you went and did =P


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## Uncomfortably Diurnal (Apr 12, 2011)

StrangePeaches said:


> So did the OP contact the girl yet? This post a few days old and I'm curious if anything has happened





Sam1911 said:


> I'm curious of what happened as well lol


Sorry to disappoint everyone, but she texted me half an hour before we were supposed to meet this evening saying that something had come up and she couldn't make it...

She probably changed her mind, maybe something did actually happen. I've got no hard feeling towards her, but it's _really_ annoying that what is probably a once in a lifetime thing for me (asking someone out in a bar and feeling like everyone is watching me as I do it) was essentially pointless.

I mean sure, she would have found me incredibly boring anyway, and probably never wanted to see me again, but still...


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## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

Uncomfortably Diurnal said:


> Sorry to disappoint everyone, but she texted me half an hour before we were supposed to meet this evening saying that something had come up and she couldn't make it...
> 
> She probably changed her mind, maybe something did actually happen. I've got no hard feeling towards her, but it's _really_ annoying that what is probably a once in a lifetime thing for me (asking someone out in a bar and feeling like everyone is watching me as I do it) was essentially pointless.
> 
> I mean sure, she would have found me incredibly boring anyway, and probably never wanted to see me again, but still...


Aww, don't give up!! I think what you did was incredibly brave. Just be proud you had the courage and did it at all. AND you managed to get her number!! So even if nothing comes of it, you still know you have it in you.

She sounded kind of eh anyway, I say better luck next time  Keep going, I think you're doing just fine ^^


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## Dave2 (Dec 19, 2012)

Uncomfortably Diurnal said:


> I mean sure, she would have found me incredibly boring anyway, and probably never wanted to see me again, but still...


dude, i think like this and its hard for me to see someone else feel like that. 
use it as a confidence booster, theres millions of girls in the world man the first one that throws her number to you in a bar isnt always guaranteed to be thee one. get yourself out this weekend and try again! i hope it works out for you, but dont let this one chick get you down, especially after building up enough courage to put yourself out there

damn i wish i could use my own advice sometimes lol


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## Hyperborea (Aug 28, 2011)

Uncomfortably Diurnal said:


> She probably changed her mind, maybe something did actually happen. I've got no hard feeling towards her, but it's _really_ annoying that what is probably a once in a lifetime thing for me (asking someone out in a bar and feeling like everyone is watching me as I do it) was essentially pointless.


But now that you managed to do it it will be easier to do it next time? Cause youll know you can do it. It wasnt pointless. It wouldnt have been pointless even if she said then and there no.


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## SVIIC (Apr 15, 2005)

Hyperborea said:


> But now that you managed to do it it will be easier to do it next time? Cause youll know you can do it. It wasnt pointless. It wouldnt have been pointless even if she said then and there no.


Yeah, gogogo do it again.


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## PurrPanther (Nov 16, 2012)

WoW I'm impressed lol. Girls intimidate me with their hotness and their eyes and blabal so I would never be brave enough to just go up to a girl and ask her out in such a smooth way like you did lol!! Even with alcohol...I would have just babbled some nonsense and made a foold of myself haha! But hey even though she cancelled, like others said, it will be easier next time..kind of like an interview..even though you don,t get the job you have the experience of the interview itself...and who knows maybe the girl was anxious herself..So if she never calls back don't take it badly because it was probably meant to be this way...and ya don't give up


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

Cool man !! 

For the record I asked a woman for her number, too 2 weeks or so ago. She was in a course for making presentations (my presentation sucked btw), but she did not gave it said she was married  Female singles in the age 25-35 are a rare species here anyway I figured. Maybe I should move to a better city (but just for the purpose, nooooo).....


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## reallyanxious (Dec 9, 2012)

lol kinda funny what you write


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## Sam1911 (Dec 4, 2010)

text her back saying if you ever wanna hang out just shoot me a text and leave it at that, if something did come up which is a bull **** excuse then she might text you back sometime and reschedule but don't hold your breath


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## Uncomfortably Diurnal (Apr 12, 2011)

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Aww, don't give up!! I think what you did was incredibly brave. Just be proud you had the courage and did it at all. AND you managed to get her number!! So even if nothing comes of it, you still know you have it in you.


Thanks 



A Toxic Butterfly said:


> She sounded kind of eh anyway...


Yeah I'll just assume she only dates guys with business cards. :lol



Hyperborea said:


> But now that you managed to do it it will be easier to do it next time? Cause youll know you can do it.


I'm not sure if it works that way for me, not for everything anyway. Asking someone out cold will always be extremely difficult, but I suppose that's true even for people without SAD.



Hyperborea said:


> It wasnt pointless. It wouldnt have been pointless even if she said then and there no.


That's true. I was just feeling sorry for myself yesterday (and still a little bit today :um).



SVIIC said:


> Yeah, gogogo do it again.


Maybe one day...in the next 50 years of so.



PurrPanther said:


> WoW I'm impressed lol. Girls intimidate me with their hotness and their eyes and blabal so I would never be brave enough to just go up to a girl and ask her out in such a smooth way like you did lol!! Even with alcohol...I would have just babbled some nonsense and made a foold of myself haha!


Trust me, it was not smooth lol. It's hard to convey tone when writing, but I can assure you I didn't sound confident at all.



PurrPanther said:


> ...and ya don't give up


I'll get back into it in 50 years. :lol



Nexus777 said:


> For the record I asked a woman for her number, too 2 weeks or so ago. She was in a course for making presentations (my presentation sucked btw), but she did not gave it said she was married


Nice one! Don't let it get you down and affect your next opportunity. 



Dave2 said:


> damn i wish i could use my own advice sometimes lol


Same...(see above lol)



reallyanxious said:


> lol kinda funny what you write


Thanks!



Sam1911 said:


> text her back saying if you ever wanna hang out just shoot me a text and leave it at that, if something did come up which is a bull **** excuse then she might text you back sometime and reschedule but don't hold your breath


I just replied with "Alright then". If something had actually happened, and she was still interested, surely she would have wanted to reschedule already.


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## reely (Dec 21, 2012)

Most of the time a call over a text gets the job done. pretty girls are getting text all day and night.. but most of their guy friends aren't calling them...


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

reely said:


> Most of the time a call over a text gets the job done. pretty girls are getting text all day and night.. but most of their guy friends aren't calling them...


Depends if girl is shy she would rather text I guess...


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## NoHeart (May 5, 2012)

I think I'd have the balls to do that, but I'm too young to be sitting in bars on my own... I know I'm 18 but I look like a 14yr old it's really frustrating.

Besides, sitting in a bar on my own probably isn't the best idea either.


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## SVIIC (Apr 15, 2005)

NoHeart said:


> I think I'd have the balls to do that, but I'm too young to be sitting in bars on my own... I know I'm 18 but I look like a 14yr old it's really frustrating.


I'm 24 but I sometimes wonder if I might look much younger in some ways...

I suppose it's probably just self-doubt and whatnot possibly deriving from feeling that I'm still child-like in terms of how little I feel I've done, but still I'm not too sure.


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## matthewethan97 (Dec 28, 2012)

*Asking out?*

I usually go online to meet girls instead of clubs because I don't have time to go out. That's why I usually go to facebook or jiopo.com


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