# My dad was diagnosed with cancer



## sarah089 (Aug 28, 2013)

Just got some awful news that my dad has lymphoma. Though it is very treatable, my dad is 62 and I'm not sure how he will respond to chemotherapy. The past 2 months, he's taken multiple tests, showing negative results for cancer. We were even told by an oncologist that his chances of having cancer were slim to nothing. Last week we were so happy, thinking he was healthy. I'm closer to my dad than anyone else in my life and to think that I might lose him at only 19 years old is too painful to think about. If he passes away, I will have no one and I honestly don't feel there would be much point to living. I have no close friends I can cry or vent to about this. My dad has been through so much and does not deserve this. He was poor growing up and was abused as a child. However, he overcame that and became a doctor who works 10hrs a day saves people's lives on a daily basis. I don't understand how life can be so cruel.
Not only that, but my sister has SA as well and is dealing with severe depression. She has tried to kill herself before and I'm worried if my father dies, she'll try to take her own life. She is really close to my father as well so I don't know how she will cope if the worst happens. I just feel really lost now and upset....


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Omg, I will so pray for you guys. Hang in there.


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## railcar82594 (Mar 1, 2016)

Sorry to hear that. Hope it is completely curable.


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## AFoundLady (Feb 8, 2013)

Omg....(hugs) I will pray for your dad, I hope he recovers completely. Hey, I am here if you need someone to talk to. @sarah089


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## firestar (Jun 27, 2009)

My dad is the same age and was diagnosed with prostate cancer a few weeks ago. He started chemotherapy yesterday. I hope everything turns out well for you.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

firestar said:


> My dad is the same age and was diagnosed with prostate cancer a few weeks ago. He started chemotherapy yesterday. I hope everything turns out well for you.


62 -- a bad age, apparently. My father was the same age as he went through cancer treatments, himself, for Stage III colorectal cancer. After a 16-month period involving surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, more chemotherapy, and another surgery, he tested in the clear. Now, he'll have an annual CT scan to ensure it hasn't come back, and it's that time of year right now.

The waiting is just brutal.

I do wish you the best.



sarah089 said:


> Just got some awful news that my dad has lymphoma. Though it is very treatable, my dad is 62 and I'm not sure how he will respond to chemotherapy.
> ...
> Not only that, but my sister has SA as well and is dealing with severe depression. She has tried to kill herself before and I'm worried if my father dies, she'll try to take her own life. She is really close to my father as well so I don't know how she will cope if the worst happens. I just feel really lost now and upset....


It really is a 'feeling lost' kind of situation, and there's not much that can be said or done that will be of any comfort. All you do is endure, try to take it one day at a time, lean on any support you can find, and, especially, enjoy each other's company while hoping for the best.

Reach out to your sister, engage her as you can, and keep pushing through any resistance she might give you. Do this without lecturing or pushing too hard (it's a fine balance), and she'll know she can turn to you for non-judgemental support. She may never take you up on it, but just knowing that you're there is of some comfort.

I wish you the best as well.


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## ExistentialCrisis (Aug 25, 2016)

sarah089 said:


> I don't understand how life can be so cruel.I just feel really lost now and upset....


These circumstances can often make us question the meaning of life when it sometimes feels like life is futile. But that sense of isolation can also help us find our true selves.

My own father has advanced MDS and has been taken off chemotherapy because it is no longer working and making him weaker so I get what you are going through.


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## sarah089 (Aug 28, 2013)

Thank you all for the support. <3
The past day and a half has been really rough. I can't imagine what my dad must be feeling. We went to an appointment yesterday to discuss our options in regards to treatment. The woman there was super nice and stated that only one area where they found cancer was high grade and the rest were low grade, meaning the cancer takes long to progress. She seemed optimistic so as of right now my family is hoping for the best. It's just been a roller coaster since we were repeatedly told that he was fine and that it was likely just an infection.


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## Scattered24 (Jul 11, 2016)

Hi Sarah, 

I am sorry to hear about your fathers situation I will definitely keep him in my prayer. 

Sent from my SM-G530T using Tapatalk


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## shyguy07 (Mar 22, 2015)

Sorry to hear that,. My father was diagnosed with cancer as well two years ago. It was a rough time, but he came through it. I know it's tough not knowing what will happen, and going through all of the treatments, it's hard. I think he should be fine though if they caught it early enough. I will be praying for you guys.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

One of my family members died from cancer at a young age (early 30s). I wish you all the best in this fight. Good luck!


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

sarah089 said:


> It's just been a roller coaster since we were repeatedly told that he was fine and that it was likely just an infection.


We went through this as well. Symptoms started showing, and my father was reassured that it was most likely something benign. Then it was, "Oh, it's cancer." Next thing we're told, it's just in its very early stages and he'll just need a bit of radiation. Then it was, "Oh, a lymph node tested positive - it's Stage III and you're going to need heavy-dose chemotherapy."

The bad news stopped at that point. '_Let's keep it that way, please.'_

It will be a long, difficult road with a lot of up's and down's. You will get through it, though, and he will have you and your family at his side helping him through it as well. That counts for a lot.


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## sarah089 (Aug 28, 2013)

Thank you all for your best wishes.

We are still unsure what stage it is. We're assuming it has not progressed much as he isn't showing symptoms at all. In fact, we would've never knew he was sick if it weren't for a visible lymph node on his neck. My father is a strong person and I know chemotherapy will be hard but doable. Thanks again for the emotional support! I really needed it.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

sarah089 said:


> In fact, we would've never knew he was sick if it weren't for a visible lymph node on his neck.


:O

I have a visible lymph node on my neck 

But yeah hopefully he is in the early stages, better chance of fighting it. Best wishes .


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## sarah089 (Aug 28, 2013)

Kevin001 said:


> :O
> 
> I have a visible lymph node on my neck
> 
> But yeah hopefully he is in the early stages, better chance of fighting it. Best wishes .


I'm sure there's no need to worry. Lymph nodes appear for a variety of reasons. They hardly ever mean cancer. Anyhow, my father's lymph node was larger than normal to the point where it was bulging out of his neck so something was clearly wrong.


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## In The Shade (Jun 26, 2016)

Thoughts are with you

I have an idea of how you feel, I have been in your situation before. Hope he pulls through.


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## Svarog11 (Jul 15, 2016)

That is horrible, you need to be there for your sister. When I was younger my parents used to scare me telling me they're going to die before we're done growing up and I would have panic attacks about how this would affect my brother. You need to comfort your sister whatever happens =(


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## sarah089 (Aug 28, 2013)

Thank you In The Shade and Svarog11.

Today was a better day. We went to another appointment and they were able to get living tissue from the tumor on his neck. Next week, we will hear exactly what stage it is. Hopefully, with that, they can find a way to treat it. My sister is doing okay fortunately. She took the news alright considering what she's been through as well.

Hopefully, the diagnosis will be optimistic.


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## TheGagaGirl (Aug 5, 2016)

I'm so sorry to hear that. My mother was diagnosed with chronic breast cancer for a year ago, and I'm very close to her as well 
I know the pain you're going through


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

You never know... Always be close to him.


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## sarah089 (Aug 28, 2013)

Update: Today, my dad went in for another appointment to find out the results of the biopsy. Unfortunately, they're 100% certain it is cancer, specifically diffuse large B cell lymphoma. The good news, if there is any, is that it is very curable and has a 90% remission rate. So far, my dad is still not showing any symptoms.

I've tried not to research much about it because I don't want to upset myself any further. I just feel so bad for him. I wish I could take his cancer from him. He never deserved this. He's done so much good in his life. Why don't sh*itty people get this instead of good people?
He's also refusing to take any days off for chemotherapy. He says he wants to continue to work in order to pay for my sister and I's education. None of us can convince him otherwise. Sometimes, I wish he wasn't so stubborn. =/
@*TheGagaGirl* - I'm very sorry to hear about your mother's cancer. It really does hurt when we have a possibility of losing the people we love. I wish your mother the best with her treatment and I hope she kicks cancer's a*ss!
@*Overdrive* - Even though I started college, I decided to come home every weekend at least until his chemo is over. I live almost 3 hours away but it's worth it. I don't want to have any regrets with this...


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

^^ Aww sounds like you have a wonderful dad. I will pray for him ofc. I think everything happens for a reason.


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## andrew141 (Aug 19, 2016)

Wish you the best


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

sarah089 said:


> He's also refusing to take any days off for chemotherapy. He says he wants to continue to work in order to pay for my sister and I's education. None of us can convince him otherwise. Sometimes, I wish he wasn't so stubborn. =/


It may also be about 'just sitting at home' without the distraction that work provides. If he is prone to ruminating (which basically anyone in his situation would be), then keeping up with work may be the emotionally healthier option for him.

Maybe a compromise could be found where he only works part time.


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## BobbyJean (Aug 31, 2016)

Just Lurking, I am very impressed with the advice you have given here on this thread. I am glad you are kind enough to do so. My father passed away in February from having lung cancer and I am not sure if I could have allowed myself to go there in my thoughts to the level that is needed with out crying my heart out. I have another family member fighting cancer too, he has has 8 melanomas so far and has gone through 5 surgeries, radiation treatments, chemotherapy and more. I am staying here where I am because of it and have been here for over 3 years. I have gone through these stages more than once and most days I feel plumb tuckered out. Firestar, I sincerely hope that it gets better for Dad. My heart goes out to both of you.


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## sarah089 (Aug 28, 2013)

Kevin001 & andrew141 - Thank you both! 

Just Lurking - Yeah, he does tend to do that. I think that is why he enjoys to work so much. It offers him a distraction from whatever he is dealing with. I'm just worried because I heard chemotherapy makes people more susceptible to disease. One of my mom's coworkers' husband went through it and got pneumonia twice because he refused to take off from work.

BobbyJean- I'm so sorry to hear about your father. That must've been so hard on you. Just the possibility of losing my dad makes me burst into tears. I'm also sorry to hear about your other family member. He sounds like an incredibly brave person for enduring all those surgeries and treatment. Nobody should have to go through that.


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## Dark Skies (Aug 10, 2012)

Working is probably a good thing your dad, despite the risks due to chemotherapy, it'll keep him positive.

Sitting at home all day, worried about what might happen won't keep him in a positive frame of mind which can make a big difference.

Knowing he's doing everything he can to help the people he loves will give him focus and keep him positive. It's also a testament to how much he loves you.


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## LanaDelReyForever (Feb 3, 2017)

That's so sad, I hope that your dad will cure cancer, you gotta be strong and pray for him.. You'll see that after cloudy skies there are sunshine.  Wish you all the best


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