# i do have friends and have SAD, weird?



## georgia24 (Jun 16, 2005)

Is it weird that i have SAD but also have a good bit of friends? A lot of people on this forum say they have no friends due to SAD and feel lonely. Ido have friends and still feel unliked. Does anyone relate? I am very social with my friends but still analyze in my head.


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## Squizzy (Dec 21, 2004)

I have some friends, I'd say maybe four or five. I'm not miss popularity but I'm thankful for those people that put up with me in real life. I still do feel unliked, like you, and I'm always over-analyzing things. Maybe we just got lucky?


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## NervousNellie (Jun 4, 2005)

I am the same way, but I feel like I can't really talk to my friends. I can't believe how honest and open I am with my therapist, it's still weird for me, even after 7 months...


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## Cynthia Blue (Jun 15, 2005)

I have a small group of friends from work that I talk to sometimes and go to lunch with a lot. We even go camping and hiking together sometimes. Before about 5 years ago I didn't have my own friends, I'd only hang out with my boyfriend/husband at the time and his friends. It's really refreshing to actually have some friends now. My current husband doesnt really have friends, so he hangs out with me and mine. 

I've been able to make this turn around because of therapy and CoDA meetings. Working on myself and getting better and more healthy, not that I'm where I want to be yet, but I'm getting much closer than I was 5 years ago. 

I don't really have deep friendships, though, where I can call people and talk on the phone all night (I hate telephones) or sit down and have a good discussion. Too scary, I only do that with my husband.


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## ghostgurl (Sep 20, 2004)

I have two good friends, but I rarely see them and never stay in contact with them.


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## gemma (Jun 17, 2005)

All I can say is to hold on to those friends, you are lucky to have people to go to for support.


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## leilanistar (Jul 6, 2004)

> I've been able to make this turn around because of therapy and CoDA meetings.


Hmmmmm, Cynthia Blue, I had forgotten that CoDA could be helpful. Thanks for mentioning it!

I want to be friend, not a _load_.

Star :b


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## crazyg (Jun 18, 2005)

I have some friends too, but I can totaly relate to the analyzing thing. Even when I get together with my friends, I worry about really small things. I sometimes think that if we have a fight, they won't ever want to see me again. Or, I feel like they are only really "putting up" with me or something. It sounds weird, but that's how it feels.


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## eekmd (Jun 19, 2005)

It's not weird to have SA, but still have friends. Back in the initial stages of SA in college, i still had regular contact with alot of the friends that i grew up with.

The problem is after college when i had to move out and across the country, i lost all of those friends because of the distance.

I now have no true "friends" who are willing to do anything with me. 
It's not that difficult for me to keep friends once i've made them. It IS difficult getting people to see past my quiet exterior and realize that inside i don't ENJOY being alone, and that i'm dying to have friends to DO things with.


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## kennybenny (May 8, 2005)

there are aquaintances, and there are friends

i got tons of aquaintances, but friends? i dont know


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## Bon1 (Jan 17, 2005)

I think each person is different, where as I have "Friends" even people I have known for upteen years, I can't really relax with.........They have grown used to me, when I tense up, they think I'm thinking....Or moody.....Hell, there are even days I'm not comfortable going to the store with my mum!


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## pyramidsong (Apr 17, 2005)

I've got friends, I just don't feel worthy of them. I went out on Friday and Saturday night and both nights I came home thinking, "I bet they secretly think I'm a loser".

Gah. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I know there are people on SAS who are lonely and would love a friend but feeling lonely and isolated in a group of people who accept you is just as bad, because you can't enjoy it.


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## shadowplay (Mar 25, 2005)

I have friends, but none are what you would call well-adjusted. All the ones I'm semi-close to (because I feel I can never be fully comfortable with another) have some sort of mental problem. Birds of a feather.....


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## Mr 47 (Jun 27, 2005)

I'm a 15 y/o male and i have around 20-30 friends but none of which are girls =/ I guess this is because of my SAD and i am too nervous around girls and just want to end a conversation before i embarress my self.


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

kennybenny said:


> there are aquaintances, and there are friends
> 
> i got tons of aquaintances, but friends? i dont know


i have tons of acquintances, but no friends......im so sad....so sad indeed...but since this is a positive thinking forum.....well lets see......all my acquintances seem to like me as a person so i guess im likable....and im capable of making friends and keeping them...


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## niko (Jul 2, 2005)

..


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## fiver (Feb 10, 2005)

I can relate, I have friends but sometimes I feel I'm drifting apart from them because of my SA. But other times, I think they understand me and like me better than my family and they're just easy to be around sometimes.


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## Fake $20 (Oct 18, 2004)

I have 1 really good friend whom I know since high school and trust, one friend with whom I went to college and another one with whom we work out, about girls, let's see I hang out with one and used to have more firend, unfortunatelly once they saw me depressed they did not want to hang out, still a few friedns I can trust is not so bad and a few acuintances with thom I might go parting... most importantly though is confidence and hope once this is achieved making friebnds is much easier...


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## Guest (Jul 11, 2005)

I have SA and i have a lot of friends as well. I always found that weird. I have two best friends that i keep in touch with almost everyday. Its a good thing because I dont know where i would be without them.


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## work_in_progress (May 16, 2005)

pyramidsong said:


> I've got friends, I just don't feel worthy of them. I went out on Friday and Saturday night and both nights I came home thinking, "I bet they secretly think I'm a loser".
> 
> Gah. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I know there are people on SAS who are lonely and would love a friend but feeling lonely and isolated in a group of people who accept you is just as bad, because you can't enjoy it.


Wow...I feel the exact same way. I went out tonight & am now going over & over & over the night in my head -- Convincing myself that i'm never going to hear from this small group of "friends" again, because they secretly hate me & think i'm lame. It's such an awful feeling.


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## Western Wall (Nov 19, 2003)

I currently have a small number of friends. If I put myself in good places, I end up with more. I go through periods with few friends and other periods with more friends and many more acquaintances. Even in "dry" periods, I seem to have some. I think SAD makes it hard for me to adjust when lots of people move on to different life stages, or I move onto different life stages. But I seem to have been able to make friends in the past, even while rather anxious. That's a good thought to remind myself of. I've made friends even when anxious. I can do so now.  :clap :clap :clap 

This post makes me happy!


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## QuietGuy (Jul 24, 2005)

I find my "friends" as aquaintances as well. They dont know the real me and I try my best to hide my anxiety. I wish i can just open up more to them but its hard. I cant really relate to them much. And if i ever told them about my SA I dont think they would understand. My only true friend is my fiancee.


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## upandgo (Aug 11, 2005)

i have a good amount of friends. no "best friend" though. no one i could call if i ever just wanted to go out and do something, or ever needed to talk. about a year ago i did, but, things happen, you know. don't have a boyfriend either. never have.


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## Waiter (Jun 17, 2005)

I have a small group of friends who are like brothers to me, I've known them since grade school. 3 of them. Most ppl have 1 best friend, but I have 3. I am myself around them, because I trust them and I know I can be myself no matter what I say or think and not be judged. And even if i am judged by them, it's respectful brotherly judgement, and I honor and accept that. have a GF that is my best friend too... and I am most like my HAPPY self around her and of course she knows the real me that I hide away which at times can actually be a very funny and gregarious, thoughtful and intelligent person. WHen I go to work though, I become someone completely different and am a shell of what I am, and I can't stop it. When I meet people I don't know/trust I put on a mask and it is horrifying. It sucks donkey nuts. But even with meds and rationality I can't be myself for pete's sale it's the most frustrating thing i've ever delt with, not to mention limiting my life. SO you CAN have friends and still have BAD SA, yep.


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## kayaman (Aug 17, 2005)

I have tons of friends that actually care about me. Except id rather sit home playing video games by myself than actually hanging out with them. I am the hugest ******* in the world.


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## littleandscared (Aug 19, 2005)

I do have a few friends that I stay in good touch with, one of which I feel very close to and trust completely. I know she really cares about me, despite my being very quiet if anyone else is there... I haven't told her about my SA but I probably will someday. She really does mean a lot to me! :squeeze Unfortunately she lives a few hours from where I live though...

Like you *eekmd*, I rarely have any problems keeping friends once I have made them. But I have a hard time opening up to people and tend not to trust anyone... and of course I am always terribly quiet and hard to get to know really...

Also, what has been the greatest problem for me is that I have always been very different from people my own age; different outlook, humour, interests, etc. And although I would like someone to "hang out" with, I usually don't want to do the same things as my peers. They like to go to discos, night clubs, or go to MacDonalds - and I don't have any interest in that. I like theaters, museums, and would rather go to a restaurant or cafeteria or a coffee bar rather than to fast food places... I guess I just always have been very "grown-up" - even as a child I always felt "too old"... :stu

I feel I connect much better with people that are a lot older than me, and that I talk to them a lot more easily. I have always felt quite old myself really... Indeed people always tell me I seem much older than I am. Therefore I think it will be a bit better for me once I am working and you meet people in all age groups through children, hobbies, etc. I mean when it is more natural to socialize with people older than yourself.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

I have no friends. I have social anxiety.


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## WhyMe888 (Aug 22, 2005)

....


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## jauggy (Oct 9, 2005)

I have no friends, just acquaintances.


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## AskJeeves (May 25, 2005)

Yeah i have people i hang with at school that i've know for like, 5 years, but i still don't feel comfortable, which is why i say i don't have any friends because deep down, i don't feel they are my "real" friends, even though we talk on the phone or they invite me out places. I just don't feel comfortable around them.


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## crystallizedtear (Feb 9, 2005)

I have many acquaintances, have gotten over some of the horrible feelings of presenting due to being forced to do it so much during high school (and still being forced), and quite a few close friends.
I have no trouble talking to people on MSN or on the phone or even in person.

But - 
I have SAD.

It's annoying. It distrupts my entire life.
I completely understand what you're trying to say...
it's like...
you can talk to people,
but you can't relax around them, right? ><
People label me as uptight and private.
when I don't want to be.

And when meeting new people or dealing with new friends....great...meet me in that dark corner =( we can hide together


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