# I feel like life is passing me by...



## alex18 (Feb 20, 2009)

I feel like everyone around me is progressing while I'm stuck at home. I worry a ****load about my future and question whether life is even worth living sometimes. I just feel like a total failure everyday and its driving me ****ing insane.

Anyone else feel like this?


----------



## christ~in~me (Dec 18, 2008)

oh yea plenty of times.
i usually feel like everything around me is moving and i'm at a stand still


----------



## alex18 (Feb 20, 2009)

Especially when I compare myself to kids I went to school with, they're all so happy and **** and I'm stuck at home self-loathing and just wanting to curl up in a ball and die.


----------



## Red Sun (Jul 6, 2008)

Brother down!


----------



## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

christ~in~me said:


> oh yea plenty of times.
> i usually feel like everything around me is moving and i'm at a stand still


This is how I feel


----------



## OrganizedChaos (Dec 18, 2008)

Touche! That is one of my biggest worries. I always feel like I could be living life much more, especially on the weekends.


----------



## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

I'll just say to imagine that your in an Ironman race. Your dream would be to finish first, but your ultimate goal would be to finish the race. You see people pass you by, but that doesn't bother you because you're not racing them, you're racing yourself to acheive your ultimate goal, which is to finish the race. Now imagine that Ironman race is your life. You don't have to be the first one out of the gate leading the race. You just have to have the desire and motivation in yourself to finish it no matter how long it takes.


----------



## golden (Feb 17, 2009)

alex18 said:


> I feel like everyone around me is progressing while I'm stuck at home. I worry a ****load about my future and question whether life is even worth living sometimes. I just feel like a total failure everyday and its driving me ****ing insane.
> 
> Anyone else feel like this?


I had to double check who posted this because I thought I did...it sounds like something I would have written!

You know what makes it worse? Social networking sites like facebook...I hate reading people's happy updates...how they are getting married or doing this or that.

I get in this kind of funk quite a bit...but if you step back and think about it I don't think that the people that are "passing me by" really are. I think that they all have their own problems that they feel are holding them down and are putting on a different face for the world to see. At least I like to think so...makes me feel better


----------



## Want2Bconfident (Sep 14, 2008)

alex18 said:


> I feel like everyone around me is progressing while I'm stuck at home. I worry a ****load about my future and question whether life is even worth living sometimes. I just feel like a total failure everyday and its driving me ****ing insane.
> 
> Anyone else feel like this?


What are you going to do about it?


----------



## golden (Feb 17, 2009)

Want2Bconfident said:


> What are you going to do about it?


Well that is supportive. Sometimes people just need a place to vent and find out that they aren't the only ones.


----------



## alex18 (Feb 20, 2009)

Want2Bconfident said:


> What are you going to do about it?


I've already tried medications and therapy for about 3 years and it didn't help much. I haven't been on meds/therapy for about 7 months now and I'm actually doing better.


----------



## slyfox (Nov 18, 2007)

Yea, I feel the same way. I feel pretty pathetic because there are 18 year olds and younger who have experienced more of a social life than me. Who am I kidding? There are 12 year olds who have a better social life than me


----------



## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

Just remember that you're not in a competition with other people to see who can get the most done the fastest with their life. Each person has their own pace, which doesn't mean that they are better or worse than you are.


----------



## Cicero (Dec 4, 2008)

shyvr6 said:


> I'll just say to imagine that your in an Ironman race. Your dream would be to finish first, but your ultimate goal would be to finish the race. You see people pass you by, but that doesn't bother you because you're not racing them, you're racing yourself to acheive your ultimate goal, which is to finish the race. Now imagine that Ironman race is your life. You don't have to be the first one out of the gate leading the race. You just have to have the desire and motivation in yourself to finish it no matter how long it takes.


Thanks, that's an awesome way to look at it.


----------



## Want2Bconfident (Sep 14, 2008)

alex18 said:


> I've already tried medications and therapy for about 3 years and it didn't help much. I haven't been on meds/therapy for about 7 months now and I'm actually doing better.


Well I am glad you are improving. What is the background of your SA? What part of yourself do you feel negatively about, have you always had SA?


----------



## Noegoicpatterns (Jun 17, 2013)

Hi:

It bothers me when I see documented womanizers on Facebook partying it up, with a beer in one hand and an angry, obscene smirk in the other hand. Especially, when two of them are together and teaming up, like yeah we are both drunk *******s!

It bothers me when people compete socially, in fact it's repugnant.
As I become more enlightened the further I want to get away from social media.

Even when you try to get away from it, it haunts you.

I find it ironic that sad and angry people try to look happy on it. And, lonely insecure people try to look like they have a lot of friends and are secure.

When a person becomes centered, these forms of social measurement no longer matter, and yet... It is still disturbing to watch grown men and women compete with each other. Something is clearly wrong with it. It is ALL about the ego.

I find these sites so offensive that I have to avoid them altogether. I for one know my friend who looks so happy can't sleep and takes Prozac everyday.

None of them are truly happy. Happy people would not feel the need to compete.

And people get married, have babies and have more babies just to keep up with the Jones's.

Best advice, get centered, follow your heart only. Competing is a waste of energy.

Let them be who they are.

Love yourself fully for being who you are.


----------



## OakMan (Nov 14, 2012)

Yes, I feel I don´t know how to live. I am find difficult to make decisions and I lag behind my siblings.


----------



## jlscho03 (Sep 5, 2012)

Noegoicpatterns, you are awesome! I definitely agree with the fact that happy people don't feel the need to compete. As I become comfortable and happy with myself, I also feel less that way, but then again, happiness wouldn't make you feel those feelings of negativity and depression over not doing as well. 

It's not about keeping up with others, but it is hard not to compare yourself, especially when you're young (or at least that is what older people tell me). I still do it, but not really through social media. I have known really, truly amazing people in my life and I know that they are just doing amazing things in all aspects - socially, romantically, and now in their career fields. I, on the other hand am doing terribly at two of those, and could do a lot better in the last one.

It's a double-edged sword. On the one hand, I think it is great that everyone around me is doing well, it shows that at one time I had a great taste in friends, and they have influenced me for the better. But on the negative, how do you elevate yourself to be at that level of happiness? Trust me, they are happy, even though there are problems I don't see. For example, one girl has a medium group of close-knit friends, a boyfriend, and a great job (or at least well-paying). Another is pursuing her dream of becoming a pilot and has a great group of friends (romantic status unknown). And then there is me...

But back to you. Are you working or going to school? How do you feel your social life is? What, if you could pick one thing, would be the most important thing for you at this moment in your life?


----------



## allthatsparkles (Mar 1, 2013)

I would suggest using the people who are progressing in their lives as inspiration to make progress in your own.

Stop worrying about the future and start living your life. It's alright to worry in moderation (everyone does!) but it shouldn't stop you from moving forward with your life and doing what you want to do.


----------



## jever (Jun 16, 2013)

I feel that to from time to time. The solution is to stop compairing yourself with others and find happiness within yourself(sounds cheesy right). 

I would suggest you to do 4 Things:

find a good therapist and have weekly/regular sessions. Really come out with your thoughts and problems.

start jogging +3 times a week. You get in shape, and your brain releases alot of endorphines in your brain which are the hormones that makes you happy. Set goals, attent in a marathon, find a jogging partner on online forums.

start meditation. Find a mindfulness class to learn it right and practise it every day. You need to be more in the moment of now and stop worrying so much, and meditation can teach you that if you give it a serious try.

sit Down with a notebook and pen and then do some serious soulsearch. Dont compare yourself with others, but really aks yourself what you want out of life - job? sport? social? love? then you write these Things Down and then for each point you ask yourself - how could I achieve this point? throw away alllll excuses, fears, past failures, worries. Just ask yourself straight up.

I hope this will help you


----------



## sad and shy (Jul 13, 2013)

OrganizedChaos said:


> Touche! That is one of my biggest worries. I always feel like I could be living life much more, especially on the weekends.


Exactly! The weekends can get so depressing if everyone is outside partying and no one wants to spend time with you instead.


----------



## MrOblivious (Jul 13, 2013)

Yes I absolutely feel this way, particularly lately. I'm like a ghost. I even question whether I really exist. It's like I have no real presence here.


----------



## renegade disaster (Jul 28, 2009)

yes, I have felt like this a lot in life.


----------



## zstandig (Sep 21, 2013)

yeah, I know that feeling all too well, I've had it for the past 7 years.


----------



## jayinvisible (Oct 4, 2013)

I feel like this all the time, being n high school living with someone else is the worst, i wish things were the same


----------



## AxeDroid (Jan 11, 2013)

I've been feeling like this for over a decade.


----------



## Nayro (May 2, 2014)

alex18 said:


> I feel like everyone around me is progressing while I'm stuck at home. I worry a ****load about my future and question whether life is even worth living sometimes. I just feel like a total failure everyday and its driving me ****ing insane.
> 
> Anyone else feel like this?


I guess it's pretty weird for a 14 year old to feel like this. But I do, I feel like I'm wasting my life sitting here in front of my computer doing school work and there's nothing I can do about it.


----------



## flex777 (Aug 19, 2014)

*oohh yeah*



alex18 said:


> I feel like everyone around me is progressing while I'm stuck at home. I worry a ****load about my future and question whether life is even worth living sometimes. I just feel like a total failure everyday and its driving me ****ing insane.
> 
> Anyone else feel like this?


I know some of the reasons i feel life is passing me by.I am divorced, have low self esteem ( even though i know i am pretty great person) i am overly sensitive and I put others needs over my own.I judge myself way too harshly ,all this is depressing enough, being stuck in this situation is endlessly frustrating.I keep trying to make human connections so maybe i can get the boost i need to get back on track.


----------



## Jade18 (Mar 6, 2011)

this but then when people tell me i dont ''live my life'' cause i dont go out partying and get drunk and stuff i wonder if i really want to ''live'',i have absolutely no ambitions like normal people seem to have..I dont care for eploring the world.. only 2 countries i want to go to but i wouldnt care if it would never happan tbh...i dont really have anything to live for...


----------



## bornofbrosiris (Aug 4, 2014)

Yep. Dropped out of college due to my AvPD/issues and work a minimum wage job living in a place I hate while living at home with parents I hate. I hope to save up enough so I can move somewhere better, (except that I am a terrible impulsive shopper with expensive taste) but my issues will most likely still follow me, but at least I'll be more independent and live somewhere that doesn't make me want to kill myself on almost a daily basis.


----------



## hopeless93 (Apr 20, 2012)

Your post resonates deeply with me. I wouldn't go as far to say that I'm merely "existing" and not genuinely living, but my life is extremely sheltered and uneventful. It also doesn't help that my perception of time will inevitably increase as I get older. One year already seems like a blink of an eye at this point.


----------



## HenDoggy (Jul 26, 2014)

have this exact problem. Feel like I haven't move forward in life since 18


----------



## Babyboo12 (Jun 9, 2014)

That's how I feel at the moment horrible gettin me more depressed


----------

