# Focusing on Yourself



## Mae West (Sep 15, 2005)

Hey Everyone,
I have been feeling good about myself lately and I think it has to do with trying to be good to myself and easier on myself. Instead of focusing on needing a guy or more friends to make my life complete I've been spending more time on my work and school and taking care of myself physically. I've also been reading motivational books which help keep my thoughts positive. I just wanted to encourage everyone to be good to themselves and focus on the positives about themselves. :yes


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## BlazingLazer (Jul 16, 2011)

Amidst all the problems that goes on with everybody around you and just in general, I've always thought my first priority is focusing on yourself. Of course, this can be seen as a selfish attitude. But that should be left to the naive, ignorant, and uninformed.

Whenever I hear about politics or scandals or sports or whatever new conflict is heading overseas or what happened last week on Amazing Race, or whatever.... I just tune all that out. I can't be bothered with any of that stuff that people not only seem so wrapped up in, but expect me to give a **** about it too. My way of thinking all this time was "How can I care about much else, when I'm so wrapped up in my problems?" I need to worry about myself. And so should you.

If you really think about it, focusing on yourself can really be a significant self-esteem jolt. If you've been made to feel worthless and non-existent in your life, the whole idea of "focusing on yourself" (just those three words in of itself) can finally give you some worth.


In fact, I'm seeing a therapist today for the first time in over 6 years. I'm slightly anxious but I think this is a step in the right direction. I've let everything go for far too long.


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## Balaka (Nov 4, 2011)

Dear Mae West...I do agree with your statement that you need to have good feelings about your self .If you would do this then you will be in better position to improve your personality .

Memphis Personal Trainer


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## flykiwi (Jul 18, 2011)

:] even if you hate yourself?
but this must be true..because no one will fix your own self hate but you.
it comes down to you in the end..


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## offbyone (May 5, 2010)

BlazingLazer said:


> In fact, I'm seeing a therapist today for the first time in over 6 years. I'm slightly anxious but I think this is a step in the right direction. I've let everything go for far too long.


Good for you! I need to do the same. What kind of therapist?


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## BlazingLazer (Jul 16, 2011)

offbyone said:


> Good for you! I need to do the same. What kind of therapist?


I guess just a regular one for now. I was slightly anxious at first but I went yesterday and it went pretty well. Maybe even a bit better than I expected too. I got out some stuff that I need to out there. I made sure I addressed the social anxiety part as well.

I'm actually looking forward to continuing therapy. It also felt nice to initiate this mainly on my own for a change.

How's everything on your end? Hope those waves have passed.


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## offbyone (May 5, 2010)

BlazingLazer said:


> I guess just a regular one for now. I was slightly anxious at first but I went yesterday and it went pretty well. Maybe even a bit better than I expected too. I got out some stuff that I need to out there. I made sure I addressed the social anxiety part as well.
> 
> I'm actually looking forward to continuing therapy. It also felt nice to initiate this mainly on my own for a change.
> 
> How's everything on your end? Hope those waves have passed.


I'm feeling much better, thanks for asking. It was just such abnormally intense lasting anxiety and depression that I didn't know how to deal with it. I'll make do.

Now I just need to focus on actually getting out there, meeting people, and staying on target with school so I can be self-sufficient (I have a feeling that a great deal of my problems are associated with my reliance on living at home).


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## BlazingLazer (Jul 16, 2011)

offbyone said:


> I'm feeling much better, thanks for asking. It was just such abnormally intense lasting anxiety and depression that I didn't know how to deal with it. I'll make do.


I talked with my therapist on this matter. He explained that our 'norm' or our 'line' (I forgot the exact term he used), is lower than most people's. So that when we get any highs (of energy, or anything similar), our 'line' is not used to those jumps. So that tends to balance itself out with these 'crashes', so to speak. Maybe that is something like what you went through.



offbyone said:


> Now I just need to focus on actually getting out there, meeting people, and staying on target with school so I can be self-sufficient (I have a feeling that a great deal of my problems are associated with my reliance on living at home).


And I think the hardest part (and of course, probably the most essential part) is persistence. It's tough because it's the one most likely to wear you down, but it's a great gauge of inner strength.

It also can be somewhat scary because I don't think many of us have been persistent enough with anything, so we've never gone through these radical changes. Most people tend to burn out quickly and then give up. I almost feel a a strong desire to change that and prove myself to people (or some unknown force).

I wish you continuous luck as well.


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## SMOOZIE (May 26, 2011)

Yes darling, I try to do that too.


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## MaxSchreck (Nov 1, 2010)

i guess this doesn't work if you don't like you look..


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## Mae West (Sep 15, 2005)

Thanks to everyone for replying to my thread! I'm so happy I'm starting to focus on giving the love I expect from others to myself instead! Good luck to everyone : )


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## JenN2791 (Aug 21, 2011)

Very true. Was once told that I don't treat myself as a priority as I do with other people.

Me a people pleaser? Unfortunately. Something I have to let go.

I've gone through periods where I'd focus on myself a lot, and it really does help. Someone on this forum told me not too long ago that it's always best we keep ourselves busy and occupied, esp w things we like to do.. or something we have to take care of like a job or going to school. And it's true.

Now I ultimately (finally) believe that the more love you give yourself, the more you'll be able to give others as well.


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## Mae West (Sep 15, 2005)

JenN2791 said:


> Very true. Was once told that I don't treat myself as a priority as I do with other people.
> 
> Me a people pleaser? Unfortunately. Something I have to let go.
> 
> ...


True. And the easier it will be for others to love you too. Thanks for the reply.


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