# My mom makes my blood boil



## Alkalinity (Mar 10, 2013)

I suppose this is all my fault for not having enough motivation to save up and move out. My aunt's 21 and I'm 22. I accidentally ignored some of my aunt's calls because my sleeping schedule was ****ed up and I was sleeping during the day. Anyway, my aunt stopped talking to me because of that (she still has the mindset of a 16 year old). It wasn't an angry type of quietness either, I knew she'd get over it and start talking to me eventually. But today, since she wasn't talking to me, I asked my mom to call her so that I could get my uncle's number because I needed it. And what does my mom do? She not only calls my aunt, knowing we're not on speaking terms, and tells her to call ME and give me his ****ing number. I didn't pick up when my aunt called because I didn't want to talk to my aunt, so now my aunt is going to be more mad at me because of my mom being a jackass on purpose. I even called my mom back to ask why she called my aunt to tell her to call me, instead of just getting the number from her and texting me. Any understanding mom would have done that, and yet she still complains why am I not 'normal', probably because I didn't grow up with a normal, competent mother I guess? And the thing that's making me rage is that when I called my mom to confront her about it, she hung up on me, lol. It's her favorite thing to do. Or she'll start talking to somebody else once you prove her wrong (she's narcissistic and has BPD), get you riled up on purpose because she's bored and can't sleep at night without starting an argument and then leaving to keep you angry. She'd read my diaries all the time, even once called me a liar for writing about my own sexual abuse and making me cry because I didn't want to talk about it but felt like I had to because she kept calling me a liar). It was traumatic. She knew about my self harm, would always yell at me for it but never address why I did it in the first place. She says she'd read them because she was "concerned" and not nosy, yet she would just read them and do absolutely nothing and I'd always write about my suicidal thoughts, cutting, bullying, etc since I was 12. An actual concerned and not nosy parent would do something. I remember when we went out of country I'd brought my diary with me because it was the only thing keeping me from suicide. One day I noticed the lock of my luggage ****ed up and I knew she had tampered with it JUST to read my diary because she knew I'd brought it and reading it and knowing my personal **** made her feel like god. Of course now I'm an emotional mess because I can't physically write anymore because of her. 

She'd also manipulate my dad into hurting me when I was younger, something I hate talking about but I mention it because I don't believe a child has to respect their parent for 'providing' for them or whatever if they're not good parents. I don't think I have to be thankful that my parents actually had a child and actually cared for it. That's not something you should be rewarded for. I'd be thankful if they did a good job but clearly they didn't because I'm beyond ****ed up and incompetent mentally now and have trouble with forming any type of relationship with anyone. On top of that because I never had emotional support as a child (on top of dealing with constant abuse from everyone including my parents) I still struggle with SA, cutting urges, suicidal thoughts on the regular, AvPD, and PTSD. I'm not going to be thankful for them, ever.

And it's not just one time she'll purposely do things like this to irritate me. Once we had construction men banging on our door and I was home alone and not comfortable opening it, so I didn't. I called my mom and then she comes home, opens the door for the construction men, and comes to my room where I'm hiding LOUDLY says that I have to go to the basement because some men are here for construction work, just so that they'll hear her. She ****ing pisses me off soo much. Like if I ask her not to do something for my own emotional wellbeing, she'll make sure to do it. Even with my SA, if I'm too SA to order food or approach some clerk or receptionist or whatever, she'll say for me to do it loudly and humiliate me in public. Then always ask why can't I be normal like all of the other girls. The other girls are probably normal because they didn't have ****ed up, stupid, insecure, beta parents who take their insecurities out on their vulnerable children and feel brave doing so but wouldn't dare pick on anyone their own age. I hate my parents so much, but myself even more for staying here. I mean I guess it's not my fault because I have depression and a bunch of other worse things I'm trying to deal with simultaneously. But I can't believe someone can be this ****ing annoying.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Your aunt is 21? How old is your uncle?

I would listen to what she says up to the point where you need to take your own responsibility. The rest she can "step off sistah".


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## Alkalinity (Mar 10, 2013)

> Your aunt is 21? How old is your uncle?


He's 29 or 30.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

I'm kind of in the same boat. I hate living at home but not financially or mentally ready to move out yet.


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

A thread I can relate to...especially this line. 


> and yet she still complains why am I not 'normal', probably because I didn't grow up with a normal, competent mother I guess?


She once told me I was "weird" and last night, that "you've been alone for too long". A few days ago(I'm currently visiting her to help with remodeling--can't wait to go back home ugh), we were talking in the car about my sisters withdrawn behavior...and I got into a mini rant asking mom how in the world did you not notice this when we were growing up?! Weren't you paying attention to our behavior and how it was so different from other kids?!?!

I was about to explode and start getting emotional, so I just shut up after that. I look over and see her reactions...sitting there straight faced looking ahead like she's thinking of what she's going to get at the grocery store or something...completely oblivious! That's about right...she's been like that all through my childhood which has turned me into the type of person I am today. Same goes for my sister. We're a product of our environment.

Sorry for the story, but this seemed like a good place to say it. One thing I use to think...your parents should be loved, respected, and obeyed just for the simple fact that they're your parents. Over time, I've learned that parents don't deserve special treatment just because they're your parents. They're people like everyone else and can cause you pain just like everyone else can.


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## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

jsgt said:


> A thread I can relate to...especially this line.
> 
> 
> > and yet she still complains why am I not 'normal', probably because I didn't grow up with a normal, competent mother I guess?
> ...


Thats a lot like my mother lol. Cared for me, but just didnt get the point that her decisions were ****ing up my life.


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## Alkalinity (Mar 10, 2013)

> we were talking in the car about my sisters withdrawn behavior...and I got into a mini rant asking mom how in the world did you not notice this when we were growing up?! Weren't you paying attention to our behavior and how it was so different from other kids?!?!
> 
> I was about to explode and start getting emotional, so I just shut up after that. I look over and see her reactions...sitting there straight faced looking ahead like she's thinking of what she's going to get at the grocery store or something...completely oblivious! That's about right...she's been like that all through my childhood which has turned me into the type of person I am today. Same goes for my sister. We're a product of our environment.


It's sad that people like that are allowed to be parents. It's not fair for children who have to suffer because of them. I never really cared too much about sterilization but honestly thinking about how ****ty parents can be I genuinely believe certain people shouldn't be allowed to reproduce, allowing it is abusive to a future child and there is no excuse for that. I hate seeing children suffer at all. Your sister must still be suffering because of her actions.

Anyway, no surprise but now my mom is all jolly and cheerful and friendly with me today. It's something that I almost expected. If she treats me like **** one day, I can expect her to act like it never happened the next day even though she knows exactly what she's doing. It's how she messes with your brain and makes herself feel in control of something. She's so ****ing pathetic.

And in a few days she'll start an argument with me again (probably over the same exact things my brother does, but never gets argued with for) and then be nice to me again a few minutes later.


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

Alkalinity said:


> Anyway, no surprise but now my mom is all jolly and cheerful and friendly with me today. It's something that I almost expected. If she treats me like **** one day, I can expect her to act like it never happened the next day even though she knows exactly what she's doing. It's how she messes with your brain and makes herself feel in control of something. She's so ****ing pathetic.


Mine is the same way after something happens like that. I think it's because she feels guilty, so she tries to make up for it by being extra nice hoping that I'll forget about it or shes just trying to pass it off as no big deal. Well, to me it is a big deal. I didn't deserve that. The first thing she said was that "you should be more social" and followed it up with "you've been alone for too long". Gee, thanks for pointing that out. Whats next? A billboard on main street? :roll


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## Alkalinity (Mar 10, 2013)

> Mine is the same way after something happens like that. I think it's because she feels guilty, so she tries to make up for it by being extra nice hoping that I'll forget about it or shes just trying to pass it off as no big deal. Well, to me it is a big deal. I didn't deserve that. The first thing she said was that "you should be more social" and followed it up with "you've been alone for too long". Gee, thanks for pointing that out. Whats next? A billboard on main street?


I think if she were truly guilty, she'd apologize and be genuine about it.

Putting you down one day and treating you like nicely the next day so much that it becomes a pattern is a classic and recognized occurrence of abusive relationships. and abusive people. It's how they keep you living with them and constantly forgiving them. They thrive off of attention but also putting people down, so the way they can have both is by putting you down and then making you forgive them the next day by being nice to you. I don't believe it's ever about guilt or care if it happens that often..


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## Glycerin (Jun 26, 2016)

Alkalinity said:


> She'd also manipulate my dad into hurting me when I was younger, something I hate talking about but I mention it because I don't believe a child has to respect their parent for 'providing' for them or whatever if they're not good parents. I don't think I have to be thankful that my parents actually had a child and actually cared for it. That's not something you should be rewarded for. I'd be thankful if they did a good job but clearly they didn't because I'm beyond ****ed up and incompetent mentally now and have trouble with forming any type of relationship with anyone. On top of that because I never had emotional support as a child (on top of dealing with constant abuse from everyone including my parents) I still struggle with SA, cutting urges, suicidal thoughts on the regular, AvPD,


 I also don't think they should be rewarded for having babies. They decided to have babies for their own interests because they wanted to improve _their _lives. My mom was a "housewife" so I don't even have to thank her for money. My dad provided me with money. I guess my mother went to do the grocery shopping but that doesn't make up for the horrible treatment I received from her, especially since the grocery shopping was her responsibility that she took on because she WANTED to because she thought children would enhance her life.

Everyday when I came home from school (where I was bullied too) I had to deal with that horrible woman. Because she was at home all day I was the only person she could take her frustration out on (my brother is the beloved golden child and I the black sheep).

She also read my diary and I know how bad it feels and how you don't feel comfortable writing anymore.

She also knew I was cutting myself and didn't even talk to me about it. Only once when I was like 16/17 (and already done it for 2 years then) she said in a condescencing tone that I can't stay alone at home for a night because I'd cut myself away. omfg.

When she found out I puked she printed out something from the internet about the consequences (like bad teeth, hair loss,...) and put it in front of my door, but she never talked about it or mentioned it.



> ic. Then always ask why can't I be normal like all of the other girls. The other girls are probably normal because they didn't have ****ed up, stupid, insecure, beta parents who take their insecurities out on their vulnerable children and feel brave doing so but wouldn't dare pick on anyone their own age


 Mine asks exactly the same. I remember as a child she even threatened to call the parents of other girls in my class to ask them if those girls are as misbehaved as me (which would be a completely crazy thing to do). She always compares me to other girls, to herself when she was my age, and to my brother. She also asks me why I didn't turn out wonderful like my brother. HELLO woman? If you have children you have to know they aren't identical copies of each other but individual persons.
My dad has social anxiety too so when she makes a baby with that man she shouldn't be surprised if the baby shares some of his traits. She always blames me/ridicules me for my SA. 
My parents are emotionally cold and also insecure beta parents. My mother even had a face lift done after my dad left her (and yes that was the reason).

I'm about your age and can't move out yet either because I have trouble finding a job. I know how stressful it is  Many days it makes me want to kill myself.


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