# Just Want To Be Left Alone



## danallama (Jun 21, 2015)

I guess the quick answer to "is it normal to feel this way?" is no. People usually tell me I'm pretty, smart and nice. I'm lucky to not face too much conflict with people and generally get along with them. Yet, I still avoid people like the plague. 

I don't know if my money worries contribute to this, because I can't afford to visit old friends or go out. But even when I meet new people, who invite me to hang out or make small talk, I want to run. I want to go to my apartment and stay there, safe. 

I'm always worrying about my appearance, when I don't really have to. I'm worried I say stupid things. I should also mention I don't live in an English-speaking country and struggle with the language too. It gives me an excuse not to try, because "I don't speak the language".

I wish someone would tell me "it's okay if you want to be alone" so I can stop feeling so guilty for hiding. I do want friends.... but at the same time, I don't.


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## sociallydiseased (Jan 5, 2013)

It's perfectly fine to want to be alone. Everything is a lot easier when you aren't trying to fit some sort of "perfect friend" typecast, but at the same time, there's nothing wrong with wanting friends occasionally either. Whatever you desire to do in regards to companionship, there is no wrong answer. Just don't place yourself in a position later down the road where you actually want friends but are so ostracized, you can't find a way to make them.


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## K31 (Jun 27, 2015)

I constantly struggle with this. I always think I want company, until they come and I can't seem to get them to leave. I am a very independent person and I really hate dealing with the stress of what to say to certain people. Also when I am alone, I can do whatever I want and no one is there to judge me. Being alone makes me happier than being with others and that some times worries me because out loud it sounds really strange. Except your happiness is what matters and if being alone makes you happy, then why should you let other people try and change your way of happiness? This is how I live and if people want to except that, then they are the ones who get to stay in my life with limited visitation rights


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## RenegadeReloaded (Mar 12, 2011)

danallama said:


> I wish someone would tell me "it's okay if you want to be alone" so I can stop feeling so guilty for hiding. I do want friends.... but at the same time, I don't.


I guess you just want some time alone after social events, that's normal if you're introverted.

I'm confused that people there in Denmark make you feel guilty for wanting to be alone sometimes, from what I've read that country environment doesn't blame introverted people for being introverted and seeking some time away from social events and stimulation to recharge their batteries.

As a matter of fact, I want to move to that country cause of specifically that aspect, being able to act and be myself, not the social butterfly very talkative person others want me to be.

A book that has helped me very much to be content with who I am and to be content for seeking isolation sometimes is 'Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking' by Susan Cain. Of all of the self help books I've read, this was the Evrika moment I was waiting for, the holy grail. I also have a friend that thinks the same about this book. Hope it will help you too.


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## buddyboy (Feb 11, 2015)

Me too sometimes I just want my own personal space and breath on my own and so far my summer is going well except the last few days which I don't want to go into details about cuz it's too personal yes I love my friends and family but we all need space sometimes


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## iCod (Feb 17, 2015)

The loner life is the best life imho.


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## OceanDreams (Jun 29, 2015)

I know how you feel. I always say I want to make friends, but then I end up binge watching a show in my house instead. Comfy and safe. It frustrates me because I want more friends, but at the same time I like my alone time. I wish I could say something positive to help you, but I cant.


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## jaofao (Nov 26, 2013)

If your life is repetitive and eventless, having no friends is probably ok. It just goes on and on, no social need arises.

Chances are you're gonna need a helping hand sometimes, or some communication going on to keep yourself informed of current news. You might also have emotional needs, like having people in your life makes you feel more... complete, or something. I'm just saying, it's still up to you. Don't feel like it's compulsory, or as necessary as the need to breathe or whatever really makes you happy.


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## danallama (Jun 21, 2015)

Oh cool, I'm going to buy that book  thanks. It's not that Danish people are like that at all.... I think it's all in my head. So don't feel that you would be unwelcome. Denmark has helped me in soooo many ways.


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