# Would you date a feminist?



## CheezusCrust (May 23, 2013)

Vote!


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## Telliblah (Sep 19, 2015)

OK!
Would it have been in a theater near me (while it was incoming (the poll) a while ago), so to speak?


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## CheezusCrust (May 23, 2013)

Telliblah said:


> OK!
> Will it be in a theater near me?


Yes. Get the popcorn.


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

What type? The egalitarians or the kooky ones?


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## CheezusCrust (May 23, 2013)

I wasn't really thinking of egalitarians like Christina Hoff Sommers. I was thinking of typical online feminist activists, women's studies professors/students, Anita Sarkeesian, etc.


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

I answered I only date feminists, although it's totally hypothetical since I'm going to die alone and a virgin. I wouldn't want to date a woman who didn't respect herself or didn't feel equal to me. I also tend not to get along with people of either gender who are politically unaware or apathetic.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Depends, that scale has two very different extremes.


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## Staticnz (Mar 25, 2013)

Yes, I really like feminist girls. But also must be a reasonable human being. 

Generally, a plus to me.


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## Losti (Aug 23, 2012)

I think the problem is even feminists disagree on what 'feminism' is so I have seen people who call themselves feminists express a wide range of beliefs. I could date someone who calls themselves a feminist as long as our views don't really strongly clash. Many feminists will say they want gender equality after all and frankly . . . . if a girl wants to push for refering to a god in a gender neutral way or using words like 'human-kind', that's really no biggie what so ever. I got so much bigger fish to fry then care about this sort of stuff.


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## scooby (Jun 24, 2009)

I only date feminists. The amount of rationality and open-mindedness they have just gets me going.


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## Shawn81 (Jul 9, 2014)

There might be an exception here and there, but I'm going to have to go with no.


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## mneptune (Oct 24, 2015)

Yes.


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## CheezusCrust (May 23, 2013)

scooby said:


> I only date feminists. The amount of rationality and open-mindedness they have just gets me going.


Was that meant to be serious? Most feminists I've encountered treat it like a religious faith and are unwilling to admit when they're wrong even in the face of overwhelming evidence.


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## scooby (Jun 24, 2009)

CheezusCrust said:


> Was that meant to be serious? Most feminists I've encountered treat it like a religious faith and are unwilling to admit when they're wrong even in the face of overwhelming evidence.


Absolutely.


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## Gojira (Jun 1, 2015)

Where's the "If she's not an extremist" option?


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## xMissChloex (Oct 7, 2012)

I would for sure as I am a feminist myself 

2x girl power is better then 1x girl power! Where's my princess?! ♥ xx


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

Tbh, it probably wouldn't work out.

Even aside from all the transphobia in radical feminism, I don't think I could date anyone who honestly believes that a woman who doesn't agree with feminist theory has no respect for themselves, or idiocies like "non-feminists support inequality" or "non-feminists deny that sexism exists". I wouldn't date someone like that because such a person clearly has no respect for me as a person and I have no interest in dating someone who doesn't respect other people.


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## pandana (Jul 13, 2015)

This thread makes me want to start a fight for some reason.


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

CheezusCrust said:


> I was thinking of typical online feminist activists, women's studies professors/students, Anita Sarkeesian, etc.


Yeah, sexist discrimination is a red cloth to me. I prefer to have nothing to do with such people.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

You never know who you're going to fall in love with.

Generally, I'm weary of self-described ideologues. 

I wouldn't entirely rule someone out because of it, but I'd need to quite sure they weren't a zealot/unreasonable before continuing. 

So cautious, sceptical, but not out of the question.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

If she has strong opinions, our ideas would have to be compatible in some sense, just so we wouldn't tear each others' heads off.
But what's compatible is more complicated than what label somebody uses, and particularly with this, it's hard to tell much just from the label alone.


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## CheezusCrust (May 23, 2013)

pandana said:


> This thread makes me want to start a fight for some reason.


That's not a good sign if people disagreeing on an ideology makes a person want to fight.


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## Orbiter (Jul 8, 2015)

Hell no.
I may be a worthless, useless piece of crap but I still care about my nerves and so should anybody of you.


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

The absolute main reason I refuse to identify as a feminist is because the label has become absolutely meaningless. if someone says they're a feminist, wtf does that even mean nowadays. It could just mean they think both genders should have equal opportunities, which honestly 80% of people in the western developed world believe anyway, so I just take that as a given in my partner anyway. It could mean that you believe in female superiority and hate men. It could mean you believe we should completely destroy the notions of masculinity and femininity and look down on stereotypically masculine men and feminine women, even if they themselves respect your lifestyle decisions. It could also mean you consider male and female virtues separate, and believe in empowering women through embracing more of their femininity. It could mean you get offended whenever you see an attractive woman in an advert, movie or video game, but it could also mean you encourage people to express their sexuality and attractiveness with no judgment. It could mean so many different things that often contradict each other, that I ask again, what does it even mean to be a feminist in the modern world? To me, it means absolutely nothing.

I've campaigned for women's rights in third world countries, where they face legitimate persecution and live in an actual male dominated society with various organisations. I am all for gender equality, or at least, equal opportunity, as I believe imposing equality can often actually lead to unfair statements (e.g. I don't believe in female "quotas" in employment). I also believe we've virtually achieved gender equality in the West and that we don't live in a "patriarchy" or "rape culture" (again I must stress in the West, in other parts of the world there's undeniably rape cultures and patriarchal societies), thus I disagree with a lot of what modern western feminists say. Many people with the same views as me identify as feminists. I wouldn't mind dating one of them.


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

I would presume the person doesn't understand what that means. College Universities are intoxicated with feminism and spreading misinformation of 'women oppression' in these gender studies and communication degrees. It saddens me to say this but University is useless for anything thats not math, science, business, or computer science. 

However, that being said most people believe feminists to be this civil rights movement and that is why many label themselves as feminists despite that not being what the movement is about either. I saw recently this Youtube feminist vlogger talking about how Halloween costumes are oppression of women. Like GET OUT OF HERE! People who do serious investigation realize feminism is a movement of first world problems of women nothing more.

So, Yes I would because the chances of her actually knowing what that label really means is slim.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Depends on her cooking and cleaning skills.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sabreena (Feb 17, 2012)

Um, yeah, considering that I am one. I would jump off a cliff if I had to be with a person who's in denial about the sexist/racist/homophobic world we live in.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

It seems unlikely unless they're one of those people who calls themselves one without knowing what it means in order to look good, in which case that's even more of a turn off.

But I can't date someone who sees me as a victim, and I'd prefer to date someone who thinks for themselves.

I find it disempowering in a way, the way feminists view women.

Some feminists are more reasonable at least on certain topics - they are not considered feminists by most feminists, despite being self proclaimed feminists. So reasonable (imo) isn't the norm, apparently.

That doesn't mean I want to date someone 'traditional' either though, that's just as terrible.

*edit:* And I'd also like to stress that I wouldn't date a really bitter guy who's mind has been poisoned by the whole manosphere thing for lack of a better word. There are a lot of guys like that, including some on this website, and god they're so ****ing annoying lol I really can't. All these people are so narrow minded and I don't want anything to do with them really in real life.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

I wouldn't want to date anyone who was militant about anything. It's not much fun being around someone who argues a lot or gets upset at a drop of a hat.


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## Shawn81 (Jul 9, 2014)

Paper Samurai said:


> I wouldn't want to date anyone who was militant about anything. It's not much fun being around someone who argues a lot or gets upset at a drop of a hat.


This is me, exactly. I'm the same way about any strong attachments like kids and careers too.

Wouldn't want to date a feminist, and want even less to do with anyone who decides that makes me sexist.


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## regimes (Aug 24, 2011)

i only date feminists.


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## Shawn81 (Jul 9, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> What do you mean by strong attachment? Aren't most people attached to something?


I probably can't describe it in any way that will make sense. Like someone mentioned, anyone who gets really militant or irritable about ideals is kind of a turn-off. Religion, politics, feminism, etc. They tend to be very set in their ways and abandon objective thinking regarding whatever it is they're attached to.

The other stuff is just a personal thing that I don't much care for. Strong attachments to things that most people my age are supposed to really care about that I wouldn't get attached to, like a job/career, kids, etc. It's not that I don't get attached to things or that I think they're in the wrong somehow for being so. We're just not alike in that regard. A career, for example. I wouldn't want to be with the kind of person who gets obsessed with career success and is willing to spend endless hours at work trying to get that promotion or that raise and advance their career to the next level, where they'll just do the same thing again. Major turn-off and difference in goals. Nothing wrong with them wanting that, I just wouldn't want to be part of that relationship.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Shawn81 said:


> I probably can't describe it in any way that will make sense. Like someone mentioned, anyone who gets really militant or irritable about ideals is kind of a turn-off. Religion, politics, feminism, etc. They tend to be very set in their ways and abandon objective thinking regarding whatever it is they're attached to.
> 
> The other stuff is just a personal thing that I don't much care for. Strong attachments to things that most people my age are supposed to really care about that I wouldn't get attached to, like a job/career, kids, etc. It's not that I don't get attached to things or that I think they're in the wrong somehow for being so. We're just not alike in that regard. A career, for example. I wouldn't want to be with the kind of person who gets obsessed with career success and is willing to spend endless hours at work trying to get that promotion or that raise and advance their career to the next level, where they'll just do the same thing again. Major turn-off and difference in goals. Nothing wrong with them wanting that, I just wouldn't want to be part of that relationship.


Oh OK, thanks for explaining.


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## AmbiValenzia (May 20, 2014)

No.
All feminist i know take pleasure in emberrasing men and using them.


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## 50piecesteve (Feb 28, 2012)

Absolutely not


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## Staticnz (Mar 25, 2013)

regimes said:


> i only date feminists.


Do you think men can be feminists?

Just curious of your view on that.


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## UnusualSuspect (Feb 24, 2014)

She better not be one of those extreme feminist and she better not let it interfere with our relationship. And I don't want her to try to make every ****ing conversation about "women's rights" or some **** like that. 
So yeah, it really depends on whether she is one of the crazy men-hating feminists or not.


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## Joe (May 18, 2010)

Only if she'd play Yugioh with me or splitscreen games. 


If she is the type of person to complain about sexist issues in games during playing them it's kind of annoying though, I could put up with it all things considered.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Like most men I don't have a good feeling about modern day feminism. I'm for equal rights, I suspect the vast majority of them are not.


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## dune87 (Aug 10, 2015)

Yes, I like men who are feminist... Most definitely.


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## realLIFE (Oct 29, 2015)

Date a feminist? Then what? Have a sex change operation to support my woman's passion? Then find a man to take care of me? lol ... 


No. I'm no simp, and will never lead from behind.


Great question.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Paper Samurai said:


> It's not much fun being around someone who argues a lot or gets upset at a drop of a hat.


Yes it is! You take that back!


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Milco said:


> Yes it is! You take that back!


 lol. ;-)


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## Shawn81 (Jul 9, 2014)

I don't have a single problem with equality. That's the way it should be. But equality is supposed to be about everyone. Not specifically women, not specifically ethnic minorities, etc. My problem is that when I hear the word feminism - and see the way most women who call themselves feminists approach the situation - a lot of red flags go up in my head, because I'm usually dealing with someone who's more worried about revenge than equality. So when somebody has some perceived bone to pick with me just because I'm a man, or because I'm white, they become the sexist or the racist. I've never treated a woman poorly or like she's beneath me. I've never owned a slave or suggested that someone shouldn't be given the same opportunities as everyone else because of their ethnicity or gender. So when I'm talking to someone who seems to think I have some price to pay for something I never did, or that I should have some kind of guilt for what other guys have done in the past, no, I would not want to date that person. They sound like an absolute nightmare. I agree that sexism is a narrow minded idea, but I didn't cause or support it, and I'm not accepting any responsibility or guilt for it. That was some other guy. Go attack him.

I think the point most of the guys in this thread are trying to make is more or less the same thing. If you've spent any amount of time online, it certainly does appear that most "feminists" fall in to the less objective and more militant category. If that's not you, great, we're fine. If it is, we're not going to be best friends.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

I'd be more likely to date a feminist than not. Since I like women who have strong personalities. I might not always agree with them but I admire them.


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## CheezusCrust (May 23, 2013)

Ntln said:


> The absolute main reason I refuse to identify as a feminist is because the label has become absolutely meaningless. if someone says they're a feminist, wtf does that even mean nowadays. It could just mean they think both genders should have equal opportunities, which honestly 80% of people in the western developed world believe anyway, so I just take that as a given in my partner anyway. It could mean that you believe in female superiority and hate men. It could mean you believe we should completely destroy the notions of masculinity and femininity and look down on stereotypically masculine men and feminine women, even if they themselves respect your lifestyle decisions. It could also mean you consider male and female virtues separate, and believe in empowering women through embracing more of their femininity. It could mean you get offended whenever you see an attractive woman in an advert, movie or video game, but it could also mean you encourage people to express their sexuality and attractiveness with no judgment. It could mean so many different things that often contradict each other, that I ask again, what does it even mean to be a feminist in the modern world? To me, it means absolutely nothing.
> 
> I've campaigned for women's rights in third world countries, where they face legitimate persecution and live in an actual male dominated society with various organisations. I am all for gender equality, or at least, equal opportunity, as I believe imposing equality can often actually lead to unfair statements (e.g. I don't believe in female "quotas" in employment). I also believe we've virtually achieved gender equality in the West and that we don't live in a "patriarchy" or "rape culture" (again I must stress in the West, in other parts of the world there's undeniably rape cultures and patriarchal societies), thus I disagree with a lot of what modern western feminists say. Many people with the same views as me identify as feminists. I wouldn't mind dating one of them.


It's absurd to me that many feminists think the U.S. is a rape culture. If you disagree, you're a vile "misogynist."


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## Staticnz (Mar 25, 2013)

dune87 said:


> Yes, I like men who are feminist... Most definitely.


The "I need feminism because" part is different hand-writing.. And he looks so unhappy...

Was the first part written for him by his girlfriend, and he was forced to fill out the second part? Poor guy...


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## scintilla (Dec 10, 2008)

Yes, I certainly would.


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## aaaa1111bbbb2222cccc3333 (May 10, 2015)

CheezusCrust said:


> I wasn't really thinking of egalitarians like Christina Hoff Sommers. I was thinking of typical online feminist activists, women's studies professors/students, Anita Sarkeesian, etc.












Hell no.


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

Staticnz said:


> The "I need feminism because" part is different hand-writing.. And he looks so unhappy...
> 
> Was the first part written for him by his girlfriend, and he was forced to fill out the second part? Poor guy...


If you look closer, they're two different pieces of paper. Maybe he took pictures with a bunch of different endings to it.


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

Nope.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

I don't really care. 

I will just be happy to be dating in the first place. Iv'e never really had a girlfriend so I might as well experiment so when I reach my mid 20s, I will know what i'm doing.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

I don't want to date someone who has prejudicial ideas about feminism or feminists, rather than judging people and their viewpoints as they come. It's not important to me that they're a feminist (because I don't put much stock in the label - I judge people by their attitudes/actions), but it's important to me that they're not anti-feminist. Like @*Grand* said, a lot of men who are anti-feminist are actually anti-women.
I want someone who respects women and also is aware that life is different for each sex and women face different challenges from men, in practical terms. But to be honest, I prefer talking about that kind of thing with other women anyway.



WillYouStopDave said:


> I'd be more likely to date a feminist than not. Since I like women who have strong personalities. I might not always agree with them but I admire them.


I love this answer. This is a great answer.


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## regimes (Aug 24, 2011)

Staticnz said:


> Do you think men can be feminists?
> 
> Just curious of your view on that.


yeah, of course. anyone can be a feminist.


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

Shawn81 said:


> I don't have a single problem with equality. That's the way it should be. But equality is supposed to be about everyone. Not specifically women, not specifically ethnic minorities, etc. My problem is that when I hear the word feminism - and see the way most women who call themselves feminists approach the situation - a lot of red flags go up in my head, because I'm usually dealing with someone who's more worried about revenge than equality. So when somebody has some perceived bone to pick with me just because I'm a man, or because I'm white, they become the sexist or the racist. I've never treated a woman poorly or like she's beneath me. I've never owned a slave or suggested that someone shouldn't be given the same opportunities as everyone else because of their ethnicity or gender. So when I'm talking to someone who seems to think I have some price to pay for something I never did, or that I should have some kind of guilt for what other guys have done in the past, no, I would not want to date that person. They sound like an absolute nightmare. I agree that sexism is a narrow minded idea, but I didn't cause or support it, and I'm not accepting any responsibility or guilt for it. That was some other guy. Go attack him.
> 
> I think the point most of the guys in this thread are trying to make is more or less the same thing. If you've spent any amount of time online, it certainly does appear that most "feminists" fall in to the less objective and more militant category. If that's not you, great, we're fine. If it is, we're not going to be best friends.


Could not have put it better myself.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

I don't care...as long as they aren't a misandrist, yaknowwhatImsayin'?

But, also, if everything starts a rant, that gets awfully tiring. "hey, why does toothpaste only have to come in these phallic tubes?...wtf?"


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## UnusualSuspect (Feb 24, 2014)

Staticnz said:


> The "I need feminism because" part is different hand-writing.. And he looks so unhappy...
> 
> Was the first part written for him by his girlfriend, and he was forced to fill out the second part? Poor guy...


No, he wasn't forced to fill out the second part. Pay close attention to the word "together" and try to find three different words within that word.
(to get her)
Once you see it, you can't unsee it 

(or maybe he actually did mean what it says at first sight and the potential hidden joke is just a coincidence. In that case, nvm)


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## OutsideR1 (Mar 13, 2014)

scooby said:


> I only date feminists. The amount of rationality and open-mindedness they have just gets me going.


Sarcasm?

No, I would never ever date a feminist.


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