# Hellish roommates-- your worst experiences



## bound for mexico (Oct 17, 2005)

I live with two roommates who have become my close friends in the past year. And one roommate whose self absorption is so huge I just can't like her. I'm curious what experiences other people have had and what you've done about them, especially considering how difficult it is to confront people about their behavior.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

I was supposed to only have one roommate, but what I actually got was a pregnant roommate with a husband and a habit of eating my food and talking about me behind my back. She wouldn't talk to me, never went to class, and rarely cleaned. She lied about me to her mother and brought a dog into the apartment without asking.


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## rdf8585 (Nov 19, 2004)

I lived two semesters in a dorm - had one roommate the first semester. We never talked outside of a few formalities a day. I didn't bother him and he didn't bother me. But it was awkward.


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## black_mamba (Aug 29, 2005)

Not exactly a room mate, but I lived with one guy once who spent almost an entire year bullying me because I had no social skills and he assumed I was always being rude when I was simply shy. God dammit.


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## LittleMissNobody (Jan 29, 2006)

:shock 

You can actually manage to live with people you feel uncomfortable around? I'm worrying about where I'll live when I go to Uni because I couldn't live with strangers.


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## eddie (Jan 20, 2005)

LittleMissNobody said:



> :shock
> 
> You can actually manage to live with people you feel uncomfortable around? I'm worrying about where I'll live when I go to Uni because I couldn't live with strangers.


 :agree

Next year I plan on transfering to a university, but I don't know if I should dorm because of my poor social skills. I will probably be stressed out 24 hours a day. But I want to move out. What to do, what to do. :fall

I guess your going to confront your roomate even though it will be hard. It will be better that way I think instead of going behind each others back. But it's easier for me to say than to do. Good luck


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## Argo (May 1, 2005)

rdf8585 said:


> I lived two semesters in a dorm - had one roommate the first semester. We never talked outside of a few formalities a day. I didn't bother him and he didn't bother me. But it was awkward.


I'd find that almost convenient. If I had a roommate I'd feel obligated to try to be his friend, and based on my track record I suspect I'd probably mess it up some way.


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## Chandler (Sep 30, 2005)

I had a roommate who turned out to be a pathological liar, a heroine addict, and an overall pain in the ***. I would catch him using my stuff without asking (in addition to breaking things). I usually stayed in my room doing homework, reading, etc. while he vegged out on the couch and watched TV. He would bring all sorts of interesting people off the street (literally), so I met some interesting people living with him. Long story short, after I learned of his long criminal history and his possession of heroine in my apartment, I confronted him and ended up kicking him out. 

What I've learned from my experience is:
1. Be assertive! If your roommate is doing something you don't like, TELL THEM (I felt I was just being a good roommate by letting him get away with things, but it ended up becoming a big problem).

2. Your roommate can't read your mind, so if they think you are being rude or anti-social, you must do your best to try and explain yourself.

3. Your roommate probably doesn’t think you’re as weird as you may think you are! After a month or two, I told my roommate that I had Social Anxiety, and he was genuinely surprised, even though I thought my behavior obvious and clear (I hardly left my room and I didn’t have any friends come over, etc.).

I currently live alone in an apartment, but I must admit that I sometimes miss the entertainment/distraction that having a roommate can bring, but I like not being tense all the time!


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## crazyg (Jun 18, 2005)

I shared a dorm room with a girl that talked on the phone really loud at 3 in the morning. We later became friends and I lived with her in an apartment. This time, she claimed she couldn't really afford the rent, so I was paying more than her...and, then she moved out halfway through the lease. Yeah, it took me awhile to learn to be less of a doormat. Now, I live on my own, and I find it glorious. (though I have had some good room mates.)


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## saint liebowitz (Apr 17, 2004)

Well I was living in the tenderloin district of San Francisco (think homeless people, crack pipes, hookers, vietnamese food, and the smell of urine - Ahhhh, home...).

My roomate and I were both going to the California Culinary Academy and he was a drug dealer, not actually a huge problem becuase our room was the "safe" room. Like we didn't even have eachother's cell phone numbers just in case something bad happened... heh, opposite of most roomates I know.

Anyway, so most days I would just chill and sharpen knives, we watched alot of the same shows so no worries, he would drink and sell **** and end up with crap from people who couldn't quite pay him. (like this nice *** mountain bike)

Things were pretty decent, he was nice enough to me and we got along alright, but man... so one night...

I wake up to him crawling on the floor towards the window, I don't know what woke me up but I just remember sitting up and he was like "Shhhh! Don't move man!" So he crawls up to the window and like super slowly pulls the curtin to peek out... and then crawls back to the door, and looks out the peekhole there.

I watch him do this for a while, just crawling back in forth, get dressed, and heh, hudle down with him and ask him (quietly) whats up.

Turns out he had just got out of jail a few days ago for missing his parole, and had met up with a couple of his "old friends" back from southern california, apparently gun runners and drug dealers. They (though he claimed otherwise) thought he still owed them a ****load of money for coke and were trying to find him, apparently along with him making a gettaway with his dad and dropping him off a few streets away from our hotel room. (did I mention we didn't even have dorm rooms, but crappy old motel rooms?) And then him sneaking in back here.

So... he keeps checking the door, and crawlin back to the window, so and so forth, until he starts hearing somebody messing with the lock. (I hear nothing BTW)

He calls the front desk, tells them quite calmly at first, that someone with a gun is trying to break in to your hotel and they have a small army with them.

Anyway, he badgers the front desk repeatedly, tells them all sorts of things about people climbing up the fire escape, to get the police over hear and whatnot. Man are we lucky they didn't.

Anyway, he keeps on seeing people out in the corridor, and messing with our locks. And like see's all their nice trucks and SUV's circling our hotel. Which the funny thing is that there really were the same nice trucks and SUV's circling, I have no idea why but man, his paranoia paid off there.

Anyway, I start to poke fun at my obviously tripped out roomate. Apparently he also hasn't slept in a couple of days, but man he must be on something I am thinking at this point.

I suggest the idea that we call a taxi, I put him in his suitcase, and I take the taxi somewhere and drop him off, in his suitcase. Heh.

We almost get him in too, but at the last moment he decides he wants to go see what his girlfriend is doing. Adios Cody, I go back to bed.

(So that all took place about 3 - 5 am before class, I get up go to class, get back, and later at night, like maybe 6 or 7, he finally comes back and tells me he was tripping on PCP, Ouch. Apparently he only remembered this when he saw his girlfriend get shot in the loby of the hotel, and he was surrounded by people, whom all told him "Cody, this isn't real.")

Funny thing is, apparently his girlfriend and him actually got him into the suitcase.

Heh. 

Anyway later I woke up to them screwing which was very unpleasant as it's just a hotel room, two queen beds, a small bathroom, and nothing else. And then later that night I woke up to him pissing in all my notes I had just organised. I had to wrestle him away because he kept on saying "Dude, just let me finish my ****". Man was I pissed, all my notes from the school year, ****ing ruined.

His girlfriend finally pulled him out of the room, (both naked btw) and got him to her room.

He gave me $50 bucks the next day, I really didn't know what to do. I don't beat the **** out of people but man... Sigh. Anyway what can you do.

That's my roomate story! heh, enjoy..


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## crazyg (Jun 18, 2005)

saint liebowitz said:


> Well I was living in the tenderloin district of San Francisco (think homeless people, crack pipes, hookers, vietnamese food, and the smell of urine - Ahhhh, home...).
> 
> My roomate and I were both going to the California Culinary Academy and he was a drug dealer, not actually a huge problem becuase our room was the "safe" room. Like we didn't even have eachother's cell phone numbers just in case something bad happened... heh, opposite of most roomates I know.
> 
> ...


My god... How did you find this roommate? Was this a dorm type situation? This is crazy stuff. For some weird reason, it reminds me of Fight Club. I guess it's just the idea of living in a creepy place and being surrounded by weird people. Crazy.


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## saint liebowitz (Apr 17, 2004)

hey first rule about fight club...

Actually yeah it was a dorm situation, they don't really have dorms in the heart of san francisco so you get to stay in these lovely old hotels. I had no choice over my roomate except that they asked me if I wanted to live with someone my own age or like 37. So I picked the one my own age....

Anyway, all that bad stuff didn't happen till our last month there so I just stayed. And yeah, it was wierd, kinda fun too though.


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## moss84 (Jul 26, 2004)

I know crazyg that so sounds like some fight club stuff!!!


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## nomad10101 (Feb 14, 2006)

actually, ive been through a million roommates, and all of them (but one) were great.... im very anxious amd shy but they all tried to befriend me and it always worked. We'd play xbox, bug out, and etcetera. They had a few parties, but no one entered my room nless I wanted them to. I usually didn't mind... its odd when i think of it that living in a 2 bedroom with 3 other guys turned out so well even though i went through like 8 of them: either transfers, graduations, dropouts, etc... 

that just shows you that if youre optimistic, courageous at least to the extent that you demand respect, things could go well for you! and if they don't -- read machiavelli and use your imagination...


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## KatlinT (Nov 10, 2003)

Actually I have more a problem with the neighbors than my roommates, they blast their music soooo loud that my room shakes and vibrates. You can feel and hear it even though they live below me. They are constantly playing but I don't know how to intervene because I don't even know them. I've never talked to them before and I don't think they have any idea how loud their music sounds from up here. sooo annoying. blah. I'm way too scared to knock on their door. I wish I could think of a solution.


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## Argo (May 1, 2005)

KatlinT said:


> Actually I have more a problem with the neighbors than my roommates, they blast their music soooo loud that my room shakes and vibrates. You can feel and hear it even though they live below me. They are constantly playing but I don't know how to intervene because I don't even know them. I've never talked to them before and I don't think they have any idea how loud their music sounds from up here. sooo annoying. blah. I'm way too scared to knock on their door. I wish I could think of a solution.


Place a note under their door that says, "Hello --- I live on the floor above you. I must tell you that the music you play is very loud and disruptive up here. It is so loud that my room actually shakes and vibrates whenever you play it. Though I'm sure you don't realize it, it has become an exteme nuisance which is affecting my (work, sleep, studying) [include everything which applies]. If you could reduce the volume so my room is no longer affected nor my peace disturbed I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you."

If that has no effect, tell the manager.


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## Farren (Jan 5, 2006)

KatlinT said:


> Actually I have more a problem with the neighbors than my roommates, they blast their music soooo loud that my room shakes and vibrates. You can feel and hear it even though they live below me. They are constantly playing but I don't know how to intervene because I don't even know them. I've never talked to them before and I don't think they have any idea how loud their music sounds from up here. sooo annoying. blah. I'm way too scared to knock on their door. I wish I could think of a solution.


I used to live in a middle floor apartment...we had the same exact problem with the upstairs neighbors. A few good, hard pokes at the ceiling with a broom stick will usually get the hint across. If not, go upstairs in a robe looking as tired, pissed and scary as possible, and request face to face that they turn it off.


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## depressedavoidant (Dec 31, 2004)

Ah, I live on the Penthouse floor!

Although when it got real cold a few nights, some of the equipment on the roof vibrated enough to bother me.

I previously lived on a non-top floor and it seemed that my upstairs neighbors would be dropping marbles all day or hammering into the wall. 

That sucked.

I have sensitive hearing.


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