# How do you cope with having few/no friends?



## Mradkn (Dec 11, 2013)

z


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## Bluestar29 (Oct 26, 2013)

Simple, I am a lone wolf. I can live with 0 to few friendships.


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## sabre5 (Oct 6, 2013)

It gets me down too when I have that thought. It happens quite a bit too. How do i cope? I sort have gotten used to it now, but I try to remember all the good times that i had in the past when friends where plentiful and realize that it's not that i'm incapable of having them, I'm just 'stuck in a rut' i call it. I know i have the potential to make a ton of friends once i get rid of this anxiety. So I try to stay positive and think things like "Hey, I know im perfectly capable of being social. This anxiety i get now sucks and i don't know where it came from but i'll get rid of it and be my old self again. Because every day that passes I feel a littttttle bit better. That means that somewhere down the road this anxiety will all just be a bad memory."


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## Raeden (Feb 8, 2013)

I immerse myself in my school work and online life. I often forget that my offline life is even real, and I now see time spent away from the computer is just an annoying distraction from my online activities. It doesn't feel lonely until I realize what I'm doing.


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## bottleofblues (Aug 6, 2008)

Not well, i'd honestly rather have good friends than a girlfriend i think doing activities to distract yourself from the loneliness is a good way to go, but i constantly have dreams where i'm surrounded by and socializing with many different people and they say that your dreams are usually about your deepest desires.
In some ways it sux being human we are a social creature and when you have psychological issues it can prevent us from getting the social interaction we crave and need, it would be easier for us if we were just content being solitary like leopards are.
This loneliness eats away at me constantly, i really need to alleviate it.


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## Interlude (Dec 11, 2013)

I like having only a few friends. Larger groups, even if I know everyone there, intimidate me. I do much better one-on-one. Unfortunately, of the two good friends I have, one lives across the country. I do get down about not having a lot of friends when I'm not really doing anything else with my time. When I'm reading, out doing errands or even just going for a walk, it helps me. I'm just not the kind of person who can sit idle without going insane. But, I'm afraid to go and do things by myself. So... Uh. Not really helping, am I? Haha. The times I DO force myself to go do things, I feel better about myself and life in general.


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## Erik20 (Jul 31, 2013)

Same as you, videogames, tv shows, movies, etc. I have some good acquaintances but I only see them every once in a while.
Most of the time I'm okay with it, but I do get a little bit depressed on "special" days when everyone hangs out with their group of friends. Like on New Years Eve, I'm just sitting at home watching tv, while everyone else is at some party.


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## AxeDroid (Jan 11, 2013)

I try to talk to people online, try to befriend those that ask for friends, watch videos and play games to entertain my mind and keep busy. I talk to people and give them advice on situations.


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## BeachGaBulldog (Feb 13, 2007)

I only have one real friend. I have gone a long time without friends, and I am used to it. I can always find ways to occupy my time. I was hurt by a lot of people growing up, so my trust level s 0. I don't think that someone who has lots of friends is any better than I am. I am very hesitant to meet a person halfway.


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## unsocial1 (Nov 10, 2013)

Bluestar29 said:


> Simple, I am a lone wolf. I can live with 0 to few friendships.


thats what you think


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## azraelsq (Dec 18, 2013)

I see a lot of myself in you. I also have zero friends and it also depresses me sometimes well most of the time, I have no social or love life. The only thing that makes me cope with it is video games, books and eating. But I guess the reasons I have no friends is because I cannot find anyone who has the same interest as me. I like playing rpg games, reading fantasy novels, loves to cook. So yeah where can you find someone who has the same line of thinking All the guys I know just likes to talk sports, drink beer or just talk nonsense.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

I doubt if any of you follow the same path as me but when you don't have a whole lot of friends in life, you tend to lose sense of things like morality or doing the right thing. I think that this is one of the number one sources of insanity.

You start to do things in life because you feel like one way or another, nobody would give a f***, and you feel like you're the sole passenger and don't need to adhere to anyone else's opinions or feelings, leaving you.....kind of on the open road.

Take it or leave it, it's a lifestyle.


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## Owl-99 (Mar 7, 2012)

calichick said:


> I doubt if any of you follow the same path as me but when you don't have a whole lot of friends in life, you tend to lose sense of things like morality or doing the right thing. I think that this is one of the number one sources of insanity.
> 
> You start to do things in life because you feel like one way or another, nobody would give a f***, and you feel like you're the sole passenger and don't need to adhere to anyone else's opinions or feelings, leaving you.....kind of on the open road.
> 
> Take it or leave it, it's a lifestyle.


Sounds like an excuse to behave badly towards others IMO.


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## the shy girl (Dec 18, 2013)

ive went through a year without having a friend. I have a friend now but I only have 1 friend and I still feel lonley


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

tannasg said:


> Sounds like an excuse to behave badly towards others IMO.


...been doing it since I was 5.

Hint, if you have any questions regarding the innateness of human behavior, look to the predeveloped brain in its adolescence to observe which qualities are a natural effect of the cause of environment and genetics.

I wouldn't expect you to understand what that means, but I have trouble 'simplifying' this down.


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## Owl-99 (Mar 7, 2012)

calichick said:


> ...been doing it since I was 5.
> 
> Hint, if you have any questions regarding the innateness of human behavior, look to the predeveloped brain in its adolescence to observe which qualities are a natural effect of the cause of environment and genetics.
> 
> I wouldn't expect you to understand what that means, but I have trouble 'simplifying' this down.


Your problem is you just can't help speaking down to people, and you wonder why your lonely.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

tannasg said:


> Your problem is you just can't help speaking down to people, and you wonder why your lonely.


No, that's just on this forum. I've found more often times than not, I have to go to extra lengths to get a point across with an ounce of logical value in order to minimize 10 pages of utterly pointless arguing.

"But you're mean Calichick!!!!"

eh


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## Owl-99 (Mar 7, 2012)

calichick said:


> No, that's just on this forum. I've found more often times than not, I have to go to extra lengths to get a point across with an ounce of logical value in order to minimize 10 pages of utterly pointless arguing.
> 
> "But you're mean Calichick!!!!"
> 
> eh


And you can only see things from your own point of view, you have a narrow mind.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

tannasg said:


> And you can only see things from your own point of view, you have a narrow mind.


Again your adjective dysfunction.

Of all the things I believe in, you would call it narrow? Insane maybe, eccentric perhaps, but narrow?

The narrow mind is this way but I don't need to show you the way.


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## Owl-99 (Mar 7, 2012)

calichick said:


> Again your adjective dysfunction.
> 
> Of all the things I believe in, you would call it narrow? Insane maybe, eccentric perhaps, but narrow?
> 
> The narrow mind is this way but I don't need to show you the way.


I also forgot to say that you are very argumentative, and with your insecurities you feel the need to have the last word.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

tannasg said:


> I also forgot to say that you are very argumentative, and with your insecurities you feel the need to have the last word.


logical fallacy effect of association of independent factors in order to emphasize credibility of assertion.

Being smart and educated does not relate to insecurities. Quite the opposite my friend.

If you are insecure, you have trouble defending your POV.

Point blank.


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## Secretaz (Sep 10, 2011)

It only feels bad at school, i'm the only one there without friends.

Its awful at lunch time and classes if theres group work. I can't eat in the cafeteria alone, so i eat dome snackbars and chocolate quickly in the hallways, empty class rooms or computer room like a loser. 

Fortunately my bf talks to me online on skype and icq most of the time so i don't feel so alone and bored. Before him i was seriosly planning school shooting or spreading around some killing gas bombs that i almost bought from the 'deep web'.


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## Owl-99 (Mar 7, 2012)

calichick said:


> logical fallacy effect of association of independent factors in order to emphasize credibility of assertion.
> 
> Being smart and educated does not relate to insecurities. Quite the opposite my friend.
> 
> ...


I bet even as a very small child you were incredibly annoying.


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## Bluestar29 (Oct 26, 2013)

unsocial1 said:


> thats what you think


I am not dying of loneliness, so yea....


tannasg said:


> Sounds like an excuse to behave badly towards others IMO.


There is really no point in trying to change her views on the world. I actually agree with some of things she has stated here.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

tannasg said:


> I bet even as a very small child you were incredibly annoying.


Being a natural introvert leads to inquisitiveness, intelligence and having the ability to transcend boundaries which are put in place to limit independent thought.

I am surprised there are not more people like me here.

Introversion is like a sixth sense almost, most of you just don't know how to use it yet.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

I was a really quiet kid by the way.

Fortunately I used all that time for a purpose rather than just asking, "Why does everyone hate me?"


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## kasun (Dec 6, 2013)

Go online facebook and stuff, sleep, watch movie and fantasize being one of characters in it, I have 2,3 friends that i hang out occasionally.


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## Owl-99 (Mar 7, 2012)

calichick said:


> I was a really quiet kid by the way.
> 
> Fortunately I used all that time for a purpose rather than just asking, "Why does everyone hate me?"


As a small child did you think that everyone hated you ?


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Secretaz said:


> It only feels bad at school, i'm the only one there without friends.
> 
> Its awful at lunch time and classes if theres group work. I can't eat in the cafeteria alone, so i eat dome snackbars and chocolate quickly in the hallways, empty class rooms or computer room like a loser.
> 
> Fortunately my bf talks to me online on skype and icq most of the time so i don't feel so alone and bored. Before him i was seriosly planning school shooting or spreading around some killing gas bombs that i almost bought from the 'deep web'.


This is new. Did you meet someone online?


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## Secretaz (Sep 10, 2011)

arnie said:


> This is new. Did you meet someone online?


Yep, saved my life.


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## green9206 (May 13, 2013)

I feel exactly like u OP.All the stuff in the world can't hide my loneliness.


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## FelineFatale (Nov 30, 2013)

I cry sometimes, but I just wipe away my tears and go on with life.


I tend to go walking a lot. I just put my ear buds in, crank up my favorite tunes, and just tune the rest of the world out. That makes me feel happier at least. 





Friends just end up disappointing you anyways.


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## peyandkeele (Dec 5, 2013)

I haven't had friends for the last 2 years, heck ive barely left the house. I tried to fill the void by watching more sports, playing more videogames, and being more active on other forums, as well as daydreaming more. All thats happened to me is, I play less video games now, because all the friends i used to play with stopped playing, I got too wrapped up in sports to the point of near obsession and had to stop watching them as much, i spent too much time on forums so i had to just stop posting on most of them, and I daydream almost uncontrollably now. Being alone isn't good for the mind, but ive been able to manage well enough i guess. since ive stopped trying to find things to fill the void of friendship and just enjoy the quiet. Though i have to admit i hate going out in public now, Even moreso than in the past.


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## FunkyFedoras (Aug 30, 2013)

Cry, distract myself with movies and tv shows and it also gives me a strong urge to write. Just write. About everything; feelings, life, people...etc. Lots of other people probably feel this way a lot too I reckon.


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## Jon85 (Sep 21, 2012)

I have a pet dog that is always glad to see me. IMO, a dog or a cat could help people that spend a lot of time at home some with loneliness . A dog will be more loyal than any friend you would ever meet. 


I use to have trouble eating and would throw up from the stress of Social Anxiety, when I was in middle and high school. I didn't want to ever leave the house. So, I know how you feel.


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## xXselfconsciousXx (Oct 6, 2011)

I don't


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## SomethingClever1 (Dec 26, 2013)

The way I cope is by distracting myself with reading books, watching my favorite shows, watch movies, workout for at least 15 min everyday, I babysit my nephews, play with my cats, and go on the internet.

I have sisters but they're usually busy doing their own things, and I have coworkers but we don't hang out outside of work.


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## Tone (Oct 12, 2012)

calichick said:


> No, that's just on this forum. I've found more often times than not, I have to go to extra lengths to get a point across with an ounce of logical value in order to minimize 10 pages of utterly pointless arguing.
> 
> "But you're mean Calichick!!!!"
> 
> eh


This statement is truthful, i can tell. Shes likely the good one & the others are flakes or rejecting

Theres no way to cope with this, theres no such thing as coping with loneliness, quite simply the loneliness must be ended.


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## nothing else (Oct 27, 2013)

Growing up I mostly studied 24/7 so it didn't phase me.


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## Grimaldi (Dec 27, 2013)

For 50% of the time I try to change things, no matter how socially challenging it might feel - I attempt to be more outgoing, follow up every possible opportunity to talk with/meet new people, reach out to others, call old contacts, create online dating ads, go out for spontaneous walks, volunteer at various places, ask people to hang out but since that never seems to bring forth any positive results, I'll spend the remaining 50% by filling a void.

I've always been into learning, so I educate myself by reading about history and watching documentaries and classic movies. 
I collect weird books and things, make art stuff and travel. 
I don't necessarily need to share every moment of my life with other people but sometimes it would be cool to have someone with you when you experience something really awesome.


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

Not very well cos I know I'll never get a woman because of it. Its not so bad now but in 10 or 20 years time It will be very strange having next to no friends or a girlfriend.


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## BeachGaBulldog (Feb 13, 2007)

I went through depression even when I had a woman in my life. Thats not the answer. They couldn't handle it. I know that I don't need a women. I am fine.


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## saltyleaf (Dec 30, 2011)

Mradkn said:


> This includes people with many friends, are popular, rich, smart and talented. I know its wrong and selfish of me to think this way but I can't help my feelings...Seeing these types of people fail at something actually brings me great satisfaction... Yes I know I'm scum of the Earth to be thinking this way but its just the way I am. Social anxiety has caused me to become a lot more cynical than I probably would be if I had friends.
> 
> So how do you cope with having few/no friends? is it easy for you?


dont feel bad im this way all the time at school or work. i wont say i hate them maybe a little but i envy them so much. i instantly want to roll my eyes at them bc they're living their life the way you should be.
i just try and push it out of my head and work on living the life i want to live.


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## Vlad774 (Nov 9, 2013)

I just imagine that I have friends, how my life would be 100x better with friends. 
Sometimes I try to not give a **** about it, but a couple of days later I get depressed again.


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## Boring Loser (Oct 21, 2011)

Watching shows and reading books.


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## Greenleaf62 (Aug 1, 2013)

I just distract myself with other things like watching my favorite TV shows and spending most of my free time online.


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## Crimson Lotus (Jul 26, 2013)

That's life, nobody has it all, I could be the most sociable human being but having been born into abject poverty or suffer from some other tragedy.

Accept what you don't have and be grateful for what you do have.


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