# It really CAN get better



## heartlikeyours (Oct 11, 2015)

I'm here to spread some positivity. :squeeze I'm sorry if this ends up sounding ridiculously 'deep'. I tend to do that. My inner poet can't be held back. :lol

I remember around this time last year I was a suicidal mess. I swore to myself that if things didn't change for the better within the next year I'd end it all and honestly I didn't really have hope for anything to change. But here I am, 12 months later. Still here. Still fighting and feeling pretty hopeful.

I can now order food at restaurants without any problems. I can pay for things myself when I'm shopping. I can order drinks at partys. I got a lot better at having casual conversations. I made some new friends. I got to know a lot of new people. I don't constantly feel as if I'm gonna have a panic attack when I'm outside. I can hold presentations. I haven't hurt myself in any way since March. I can be honest about my feelings and my problems. I can open up and cry when I want to. I still have my 'down' days. Days where it all feels so unfair and where I'm so so angry that I can't lead a normal life because I'm so scared, so depressed and so insecure. But nowadays I feel ok most of the time. I even have some _good_ days where I feel things other than pure panic and misery and that's *****ing amazing. I finally feel as if I have a future.

I know that life with a mental illness can be incredibly hard but I promise it can get better. Get the help you need, whether that's therapy, medication or just talking to someone. Be brave. Be honest. Be proud. Continue fighting.


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## gheck (Oct 18, 2015)

I think I've come a long way, too. and I definitely have days where I am more frustrated or hopeless, as well.

gotta say, though, no matter how well I'm doing, I still have never ordered a drink anywhere, you have that on me., But I feel like as long as I can maneuver around that and a few other things..>>>>>


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## Vaust (Feb 12, 2012)

I'm on the upwind too. My Aunt and Grandma forced me to help them with their garage sale recently and I was forced into interacting with like 200+ strangers in one weekend and met a lot of neighbors I hadn't met before because I never went outside and one I'm actually good friends with now. After that everything just became a lot easier. I've went to stores by myself, a carnival by myself, etc. It's not completely gone and I still have more work to do but it doesn't seem as impossible anymore.


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## LondonScouse (Aug 1, 2015)

and you wanna know the funny thing ? even though you have gotten much better, there is still much more room for improvement...

Everyone has to work hard to improve, as long as you keep going, imagine where you will be in 12 months !


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

I so hope you're right :sigh. So inspiring.


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## heartlikeyours (Oct 11, 2015)

LondonScouse said:


> and you wanna know the funny thing ? even though you have gotten much better, there is still much more room for improvement...
> 
> Everyone has to work hard to improve, as long as you keep going, imagine where you will be in 12 months !


yeah exactly. That's such an uplifting thought :yay


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## peace_love (Oct 24, 2008)

Congrats and don't ever give up on yourself. You're worth it.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

Can you honestly make that promise?

I mean, I'd like it to be true. I don't want to feel this scared and alone.


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## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

Kevin001 said:


> I so hope you're right :sigh. So inspiring.


Hope is the evidence of things not seen....

So we have to have faith...

And lots of it.

Until it manifests.


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## jdrubnitz (Jan 26, 2013)

minimized said:


> Can you honestly make that promise?
> 
> I mean, I'd like it to be true. I don't want to feel this scared and alone.


Biologically, the human being is wired to adapt and continue to grow stronger if he or she goes about it the right way. Even if one doesn't die with SA being completely gone, there is definitely ALWAYS room and a chance to get a bit better each day. That's what I think. I used to be a skeptic of that whole idea but I really think it's true. It's just about finding EXACTLY what's causing your particular issue.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

jdrubnitz said:


> Biologically, the human being is wired to adapt and continue to grow stronger if he or she goes about it the right way. Even if one doesn't die with SA being completely gone, there is definitely ALWAYS room and a chance to get a bit better each day. That's what I think. I used to be a skeptic of that whole idea but I really think it's true. It's just about finding EXACTLY what's causing your particular issue.


I am still so low on hope. All I feel like getting a little better is going to do for me is one of those drug twist of fates where someone ends up more likely to kill themselves because they have a little more energy.


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## PrincessV (Aug 17, 2015)

heartlikeyours said:


> I'm here to spread some positivity. :squeeze I'm sorry if this ends up sounding ridiculously 'deep'. I tend to do that. My inner poet can't be held back. :lol


:lol Haha, you're funny. The inner poet is strong. Let it shine through. :grin2:

Your post almost made me want to cry! I'm so happy you're doing better.. and you've shared with us your improvements. I think this post will encourage a lot of people. It encouraged me and I hope everyone can see that it can get better. I can start getting all deep as well, but I don't want to. xD It's just a lot can change within a year or two. Whew, anyway, I'm out!


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## jdrubnitz (Jan 26, 2013)

minimized said:


> I am still so low on hope. All I feel like getting a little better is going to do for me is one of those drug twist of fates where someone ends up more likely to kill themselves because they have a little more energy.


I've totally had that feeling. The question is, why not feel a bit better before one dies anyways?


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

jdrubnitz said:


> I've totally had that feeling. The question is, why not feel a bit better before one dies anyways?


That's kind of how I feel now. They ought to kill me now before getting plunged back into the futility of existing again. I've experienced enough.


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## RaggedyAnn (Jul 17, 2014)

heartlikeyours said:


> I remember around this time last year I was a suicidal mess. I swore to myself that if things didn't change for the better within the next year I'd end it all and honestly I didn't really have hope for anything to change. But here I am, 12 months later. Still here. Still fighting and feeling pretty hopeful.


Very inspirational, I hope to one day see this kind of progress! What do you think made the biggest impact in your progress?


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## heartlikeyours (Oct 11, 2015)

RaggedyAnn said:


> Very inspirational, I hope to one day see this kind of progress! What do you think made the biggest impact in your progress?


Learning to love myself probably. Honestly once I accepted the way I look and also the way I am and that I'm not a failure just because I can't do certain things the way 'normal' people do them due to an illness that I can't control things just started to seem so much easier. Hating yourself can really really weigh you down.

(also meds. meds can really help a lot)


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