# What type of person are you drawn to?



## thelonelystag (Jan 10, 2017)

From both a romantic and friendship perspective, what type of person are you drawn to?

For me it has always been my opposite. I have always been drawn to gregarious people. I find people that can easily talk to others put me at ease in social situations, allowing me to open up.

The closest person I have to a best friend is exactly my opposite and every women I have gotten remotely close to is again a lot more sociable than I am.


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

loners
people that look sad/are sad
people w/ problems
"misunderstood" people
thoughtful people

i guess i can like people that like to talk a lot, too.


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## Chris1972 (Jan 11, 2017)

That's a hard one for me and conflicting as well. I was at the store the other day and took notice of the people around. It was always the sad looking ones that seemed to take their time that I was drawn to. The conflicting part was wife #1 was psycho and a bit outgoing, wife #2 was quiet and ended up switching teams, wife #3 was needy and ended up an alcoholic. I don't make good decisions.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Caring compassionate people.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

Romantic: outgoing, social type of girls; think of an opposites attract kind of way would be the best way to explain it.

Friends: people like me more introverted types. Often they also have a history of SA or depression that we relate too among other things.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I'm drawn to a lot of different traits:

introverts, people who are a bit socially awkward, creative/imaginative people, artistic types, adventurous people, people with geeky interests, caring people - especially people who love animals, guys with feminine interests or who express themselves in feminine ways, someone with a similar sense of humour to me, people I can relate to, certain types of intelligence, cynicism (occasionally,) people who like to help others, open minded people, non-conforming people, musical people, computer programmers (probably just environmental circumstances though lol,) interest in dark things.

But to be honest mostly what draws me initially is physical appearance/style/body language (not for friendships obviously.) I'm quite superficial. Because of this I can be attracted to someone, but still find certain attitudes they have at times off putting (to a point, past that I'll just not be attracted much anymore.)

It's easier just to link videos though I guess:

[spoiler=.]









'I love you let's go to the circus' loool oh no I need to stop this and like leave my house.

It's weird though because I also realised that the two guy's performances and stuff are both inspired somehow by Peter Pan- nope let's not make this post more creepy sounding.

Oh no I forgot, and actually I wasn't as into him physically initially besides the long hair so this is a better example. Actually maybe it's not. It's probably partly the femme thing again, but he's also very funny and weird (in a good way) etc:





[/spoiler]


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

Definitely not the opposite of me. The last person I was very attracted to was quite similar in a lot of ways and in our outlook on life. I kinda think this is essential for me for any attraction to form. They need to be a little bit cynical and questioning I think at least. Not too outgoing, not too conventional I guess. Definitely not judgemental. Fairly flexible in their thinking, at least reasonably intelligent. They need the capacity to be supportive of me (as I will be towards them). Don't care about achievement bull****.

Looks wise, dunno. It seems I get more attracted to people when I get to know them and kinda get used to them, but there are certain things (like nice eyes) that work wonders on me. I have no idea what nice eyes actually are though, eyes seem to be much of a muchness when you think about it, but some are definitely better than others. 

I need to find the person initially attractive enough though, I am just not sure what that is, and I know I can find them more attractive as time goes on.

For friends I guess stuff in common + them not being ****s is all that is needed as a minimum though. Being a bit cynical makes for a better friendship imo though .


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## EBecca (Oct 15, 2016)

Lots of different types of people. The coolest people are in my opinion those who have sense of humour, aren't too serious all the time, use their brain, have empathy, have original opinions, thoughts and ideas, are creative. Sometimes I admire courageous, outgoing and bold people who are the opposite of me. Insecure and shy people can be really interesting too though. I also really appreaciate honesty and caring about others.


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## Constellations (Sep 23, 2013)

Same, I tend to be more drawn to others with opposite personalities to me (extroverted, friendly, outgoing etc.)
But I'm also attracted to confidence too. Not the arrogant idiot type, but people who aren't too influenced by others and don't feel the need act fake just to fit in since they're comfortable in their own skin, if that makes sense. I find that these people tend to be either the more popular types that people follow, or the loner that others may think as 'uncool' and weird. I suppose I like people who stand out from the crowd. I find them interesting to observe and analyse (sounds kinda creepy). They also tend to be more friendly from my experience. The attraction is probably due to the whole opposite thing as I lack such confidence, but I'm working on it.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

I like friendly people, talkative people, which makes sense to be honest. I tend to be friends with the guys who are into tech and programming but also love being active since I enjoy being active as well. 

I tend to be attracted to girls who are short and slim with cute faces. I like athletic girls because I enjoy being active myself. I don't think I could date someone who disliked doing anything active. Bonus if she enjoys tech or video games as well.


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## feels (Jun 18, 2010)

Well like my boyfriend...he doesn't try to impress anyone really. He's very relaxed, doesn't get excited very easily, pretty blunt and cynical...there's just no "act" with him at all and I absolutely love that. I guess I like people who are really sincere and who aren't very judgmental. People that just really have your back no matter what. I'm definitely drawn to people who are more similar to me in terms of being introverted and stuff, but I've admired plenty of people who were really over the top too.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Intelligent and ambitious. I could never date someone who enjoys and is proud of being lazy. Doesn't mean they have to be working 24/7, but they need to be doing something productive everyday even if it means not earning money doing something they're passionate about. I like passionate people because they have something to live for, and they could wake up everyday optimistic about part of their schedule. 

Someone who supports my goals and dreams no matter how far-fetched. They don't need to be draining every amount of their savings aiding me in my goals and projects, but they need to have a little faith in me and trust me in what I'm doing, offering realistic suggestions if necessary. 

Friendship-wise: Anyone I feel comfortable around.


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## rm123 (Mar 21, 2016)

Puppies


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## Ominous Indeed (Sep 6, 2015)

I think this is a difficult question. To give an example.. It's a necessity to me that the person I will be together with will like animals, but that does not mean I am only attracted to people who like animals either. I could be attracted to someone that doesn't like animals (and I have been) but that wouldn't work because I want an animal sometimes in the future. 

I am also very ambitious but that doesn't mean I am only attracted to people who also are ambitious. I am not, and I have been attracted to people who don't have anything going on in their life. In the end though I don't think that would work because I don't want to be the one to pull the other person through their entire life. 

I am very interested in people who have similar interests to me, though that again does not make me automatically attracted to them in a sense that I want to date them and become their boyfriend. It could be the case though, but it's not always like that. 

The obvious answer would be someone I feel comfortable with but what kind of person is that? Someone who makes me feel special, someone that enjoys my company, has my humor, someone that supports me, respects me, values my opinions, is accommodative and wants to meet me halfway but then again I would say these are a necessity in a relationship for anyone though, but if you can be that person to me, I might fall for you. 

I can also put out some bullet points that I would be hoping my girlfriend would also be interested in/doing. Again, none of these would be a necessity for me to be attracted to them, but having the same views/hobbies would be a plus in the long run if we were to ever to try to enter a relationship: 

She likes: 
- Anime/Series in general
- Games
- Healthy Life style
- Same music taste (Rock, Hip hop)
- I am very flexible when it comes to both politics and religion, but would prefer more left and atheist/christian. 
- Loves to travel (I hope that I can travel around the world for a whole year once)
- Likes science/math


For looks I am generally very flexible.


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## Herzeleid (Dec 14, 2016)

Friendly and kind people
No sheep
I don't care much about what they like (unless we're talking about a partner, in that case I care about what music they like). They don't have to share my political views or my lack of religion but they have to be open-minded.


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## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

Im attracted to people who have an ubpeat, lively, bubbly personality, and they have to be very nice and compassionate lol









As for friends im drawn to anyone who is similar to me


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## ljubo (Jul 26, 2015)

immigrants.


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## konas8 (Nov 23, 2016)

I don't know. It's weird. Usually attraction is there from the getgo, before I even know a thing about them. And they're often not beauty queens. What is constant is the brown hair. I've been attracted to upbeat and mellow.


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## That Random Guy (Jan 31, 2015)

*Hm..*

After thinking about it, I think I'm more attracted toward people who are like me, but not so much.

Life partners:

To explain further: I would probably prefer someone who is introverted enough to not need be social 24/7, but be OK enough being around me most of the time OR be with someone who is social but is accepting of my introverted nature (i.e. doesn't make a big deal about me getting along with her relations).

Obviously we'd need to be able to have fun with each other and or be OK with eventual definition of "fun". Basically, be OK with how we are in the short run as expected in long run.

The MOST important thing is for me to find someone who I can argue with. I might even want someone who's short tempered at times. It's vague when I say this, but I want a rhythm. I want what I see a lot of other couples having: a connection. A bond. Something unique. They're comfortable enough and knowledgeable enough to understand one another without talking sometimes. They're true life partners.

I don't like it when others are reserved with me because I'm very dense when it comes to social protocols/relationships. I prefer having it all in the open, which might be why I'd want my partner to argue with me often. I generally avoid confrontation, but with someone I'm intimate with, I feel like maybe it'd help me grow. I also just might like to argue.

As for friends:

I think I look for less in this case, but the general can also apply.

Overall, I'd be OK with someone who I can spend time with. I'm not a party person, so possibly someone who'd like to play games or something.

As long as they were accepting of my nature and respected my boundaries, I think I'd be fine with anyone.

Good topic! Thanks!


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## SparklingWater (Jan 16, 2013)

Kind and gentle
communicative 
silly
into nature, movement/active, being outside
affectionate

i don't really know beyond that tbh. I guess I'm open


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## Amanda97xx (Jan 16, 2017)

tea111red said:


> loners
> people that look sad/are sad
> people w/ problems
> "misunderstood" people
> ...


How similar we are !:clap


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

Amanda97xx said:


> How similar we are !:clap


:high5


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## ShySouth (Jul 30, 2015)

Kind, considerate of others. Talkative because I don't talk much. Someone who doesn't create drama. Someone a bit more sociable than me but not into large gatherings. Geeks and artistic people.


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## twistix (Sep 8, 2013)

Gentle, funny, creative people :]


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

crazy outgoing people


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## January (Nov 16, 2016)

Physically, I definitely find height attractive if we're talking about immediate, "at first glance" appeal, probably because I'm tall myself. I don't really mind about build that much, as long as they're healthy enough for long walks, jogs, the occasional hike, etc. I can't be sedentary for too long, I start feeling absolutely miserable and it makes my anxiety worse.

As far as personality goes, someone who's passionate about something. Certain kinds of nerds. People who are willing to be open with their emotions. Animal lovers are an immediate draw, especially dog lovers (like if you don't at least like dogs... no thanks, I've always had dogs in my life and I always will). Introverted, or at least not really into big social events. Gentle, considerate, open-minded.


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## Twilightforce (Aug 7, 2016)

I like people who care about the earth.


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## Explorer5 (May 25, 2016)

Kind of like the OP, I'm attracted in some way to my opposite, but in a completely different way. Super-gregarious people repel me, I'm drawn to fellow introverts who also have an inner world richer than the "outer" world. However, while people need to appreciate my own interest in science/math, I'd quite prefer them to be most "at home" in an artsy, more freeform way of thinking.

I also need people to be excitable and generally innocent--this doesn't mean ignorant or unsophisticated, just not "worldly" or jaded.


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## AllTheSame (Mar 19, 2016)

I think qualities like compassion, empathy, integrity go without saying, those are just "given" lol...they have to be there or I wouldn't even want a relationship, or a friendship so I'm not going to make my post about that.

I tend to be attracted to my opposite. I'm complicated though, ffs......

A lot of the time I find quiet, very introverted, shy women attractive. Just because I feel like that describes me a lot of the time, I can relate to that, that's who I am, I'm usually (unless I'm at work) not the outspoken, loud, extroverted alpha guy. Not always, anyway. The crush I met from this site a couple of years ago, that I've met in person, and spent a few days with....she's very shy, very quiet. We got to where we were very comfortable around each other and she opened up a lot of course, after hundreds of hours on the phone, and a lot of time in person, but it took a while. She's very, very slow to trust...anyone. And that can be me. Most definitely. She is so much like me it is seriously scary. She is my twin. And I think she sees it also. It's really a goddamned shame it didn't work out. We know each other, inside and out. In some ways, that woman knows me better than the woman I was married to for 18 years. Seriously.

If I look at my past though....not at every relationship, but most of them....I'm attracted to the exact opposite of me. Very extroverted, very outgoing, social butterflies with lots and lots of friends. She's the exact opposite of me, ffs. But she's sort of who I wish I could be, I guess. Maybe that's why I'm so attracted...I mean, it makes sense. I love, love, love that personality in women. It's awesome. I wish I had more of it myself. The woman I was married to for 18 years was very much like that. She is popular, outgoing, she is a social butterfly...she loves people, loves being around people. The problem is, she is just f-ing exhausting to be around for too long lmao. I can't be a social butterfly like her. I can't do it. I think that's part, one of the many reasons why, my last marriage failed.


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## Virgo (Jun 27, 2016)

✔ Hot/sexy
✔ Likes dogs


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

I am attracted to people who have made an effort to get to know me and have proven they would do anything for me. I don't necessarily have any physical requirements other than keeping clean and having fairly good teeth. 

My late husband was 6' 275 pounds. 

My current fiance was my childhood best friend/crush and he's 5'10" 125 pounds. 

People with similar interests and personalities tend to appeal to me more than my opposites. In my case, I literally patterned much of myself on my current fiance, when we were still children.


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## solasum (Nov 17, 2008)

tea111red said:


> loners
> people that look sad/are sad
> people w/ problems
> "misunderstood" people
> ...


Pretty much this. If someone smiles a lot (whether sincere or otherwise), it's a major turn-off. Also, the less someone likes me, the more I like them.


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## RenegadeReloaded (Mar 12, 2011)

A living one.


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## chefdave (Dec 16, 2013)

splendidbob said:


> They need to be a little bit cynical and questioning I think at least.


Amazing because politically you're as orthodox as they come, to the point of naivety.


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## chefdave (Dec 16, 2013)

Atheism said:


> ✔ Hot/sexy
> ✔ Likes dogs


How do you do ticks?


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## Virgo (Jun 27, 2016)

chefdave said:


> How do you do ticks?


What do you mean, ticks? Like this ✔?


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## chefdave (Dec 16, 2013)

Atheism said:


> What do you mean, ticks? Like this ✔?


Yeah that! What is your secret, are you a wizard?


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## Virgo (Jun 27, 2016)

chefdave said:


> Yeah that! What is your secret, are you a wizard?


Well yes, I am a wizard. But I don't know the formula (alt code), I just know how to use Google, copy, and paste _damn_ well.


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## chefdave (Dec 16, 2013)

Atheism said:


> Well yes, I am a wizard. But I don't know the formula (alt code), I just know how to use Google, copy, and paste _damn_ well.


That's a helluva lot of effort to go to for a forum post. I salute you Atheism for your commitment.


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## Virgo (Jun 27, 2016)

chefdave said:


> That's a helluva lot of effort to go to for a forum post. I salute you Atheism for your commitment.


Yes. It is a rough career, but I try. I try.


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## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

@thelonelystag

I'm drawn to animals that don't judge and can be myself around.

When have one of your family murdered by a serial killer of women (toxic person), many toxic people attack you in real life, it makes you look at people in general in a different way.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

chefdave said:


> Amazing because politically you're as orthodox as they come, to the point of naivety.


Someone's been missing me in S&C. :hug


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

i like men that don't go on and on and on and on about hot and sexy so many women are. i just want to flee from/stay far, far away from those kind of men. -shivers-


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## Discopizza (Dec 12, 2016)

People with a dark, sarcastic sense of humor. Introverts. Gamers. People that spend more time with their family than out with friends.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

I tend to be attracted to people who are extraordinary in some way. Exceptionally smart or funny or daring, etc. I find something very intriguing about people who manage to be better at something than anyone else I've met. Those are the people I can't stop thinking about. But they don't have to be exceptional in more than one way. The one guy I had a crush on was not good looking or successful by any means but he was the funniest person I've ever met and I wish we were still friends.


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

people that wear black or a lot of dark colors
people that come from dysfunctional families
unconventional people (to an extent)
people that don't go out much 
people that like to learn
teachers and knowledgeable types
people that are in the medical field or like medical/health stuff
men w/ facial hair


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

*Non-Americans.*
-I like it if there is a bit of a language barrier. More exotic that way. Also they can't tell how weird I am as easily as Americans can. Harder for them to get offended by what I say too.

*Black, straight hair. Slim-average in fattiness with some muscle. *
-A small pot belly is okay as long as they have some muscle.

*Not a creative type. Not a lawyer. *
-I'm not creative whatsoever and I think creative people are more sensitive than usual. I'm rather blunt and insensitive, so it wouldn't work out. So no musicians, artists, writers, actors, etc. I'd imagine that lawyers like to argue a lot.....not my thing.

*Average to smart but dumber than me. *
-Very intelligent people intimidate me. I also can't stand know-it-alls. I like it if the guy is self-deprecating, with humor....but not someone totally down on himself either.

*Men who have or like cats.*
-Very important. Would like to avoid men who own big dogs. I'm just not into them.

*Men who are easygoing in general. *
-Like they wouldn't get upset about privacy invasion if I looked at their cellphone. Or if I said they have a pot belly wouldn't get bent out of shape over it.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)




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## Ominous Indeed (Sep 6, 2015)

komorikun said:


> *Non-Americans.*
> -I like it if there is a bit of a language barrier. More exotic that way.


How is not being able to communicate with each other to the fullest a plus? I guess the accents could be hot though..

Your at a romantic date and your flirting and stuff and then suddenly he goes "OOH, what was the word I was looking for again?".


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## Fangirl96 (Apr 13, 2015)

People who look like loners. Or are in public alone atleast. If an attractive guy is with a group of friends, then i actually lose interest. When it comes to friendship, its the same. Though if a small group of girls look like they're a bit different and could have cool interests, then i can think woah i wish i was in a friendship group like that


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## solasum (Nov 17, 2008)

tea111red said:


> people that wear black or a lot of dark colors
> people that come from dysfunctional families
> unconventional people (to an extent)
> people that don't go out much
> ...


Oh snap, I am quoting you again! I look for these things in people, too, only I'd have to add:

men with long hair
foreigners


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## funnynihilist (Jul 29, 2014)

Must admit, I'm attracted to women with a certain streak of darkness to them mentally.
I wouldn't get on well with a bubbly woman.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

I'm superficially attracted to a lot of different types of women but when it gets more than skin deep, I'm often more interested in women who have a lot going on in their heads (or seem to). I tend to like women who think more like men or just have quirky personalities and aren't all that easily offended. I've been around too many women who get offended by every little thing and it's very unattractive and unsettling.


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## Strago (Jan 12, 2017)

I don't really know what my 'type' is. There hasn't really been any defined pattern to the people I've found physically attractive.

I do tend to like creative artistic people though.


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## kivi (Dec 5, 2014)

People who are somewhat mysterious, funny but knows when to get serious, more courageous than me but don't insist me to do things, have artistic side in them, like to travel, a bit dreamer but are aware of what is going around them and ready to help others and to get into action, have an open mind, are patient...


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

solasum said:


> Oh snap, I am quoting you again! I look for these things in people, too, only I'd have to add:
> 
> men with long hair
> foreigners


haha.....how funny. i'll take the ones w/ short hair.

----
i should probably add men that like/can handle women w/ issues, lol.


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## k_wifler (Sep 27, 2006)

As far as attraction goes, I tend to be mostly visual. The hormones kick in and everything else becomes a warm fuzzy blur.
So if she has a small smooth looking face, no geometric features and whatnot, very cute with big eyelashes and sleek straight hair, that's it.
If she's got a not so great face, she's got to have really nice curves and show lots of skin and sexy movement. I have felt like I could be with a butterface if her curves are in just the right places...

As far as intellectual, or platonic personalities I'm drawn to, I'd have to say that I find people who enjoy exchanging valuable information in a more roundabout sort of way the most interesting. People who casually engage in the sharing of, for instance, technical, academic, scientific, usable information especially. I learned about baking soda from someone a few years ago, and I tell someone new about it at least once a week, or I just don't feel like I've put in my two cents, and that's the type of person I crave to be around.

Also, people I can help in some practical and non-taxing sort of way, preferably in something mutually beneficial, or just knowledge sharing. I find it to be very satisfying, but mostly the personal, face-to-face aspect, not necessarily technology based communication like video chat or text chat.

I feel like a lot of people actually hide their knowledge, or avoid talking about their advanced interests because they see it as rude or condescending or some such, and my rage burns them from a distance like a flamethrower forged in the _PITS _OF *HELL *ITSELF, against such people. I often find myself going on about some technical aspect of things IN SPITE OF THE PROTESTATIONS OF SUCH _HORRIBLE _*DEMONIC *PEOPLE. If murder were legal, you can bet I'd be going right at it with them...

As I like to say sometimes, science DEMANDS that we constantly question ALL THINGS, even if it offends someone, even if it is uncomfortable. It won't give you a rash. It might actually lead to the treatment of your rash...


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## LoneWolfAtHeart (Jan 28, 2017)

Someone just like me who has a passion for travelling, adventure and music. I want to spend time with someone who will spend hours driving in the car with me with the windows down and loud music playing. Someone to travel and explore the world with would be a dream come true for me haha


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## phobic26671 (Oct 29, 2013)

will anyone ever like me ?


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## noydb (Jun 29, 2016)

Anyone who is nice to me.


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## thisismeyo (Feb 15, 2013)

I am pretty independent and I like shy and sweet. i feel like that combo fits well


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## Ghossts (Mar 6, 2014)

Someone who is mostly quiet/shy but who enjoys having deep conversations, mostly talking about art (music and movies in particular) more than anything, and are caring and sweet too. I'm also drawn to people who have a dark outlook on the world.


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