# are you guys making friends at school....?



## Karla (Dec 26, 2005)

cause i'm not. and it's completely my fault. i mean, everyone here is really nice and always makes attempts to talk to me but me being me i can't string 2 words together without anxiety. i can't even stand still, i play with my clothes, my hair, my books, etc and i even gulped multiple times. what's wrong me with?! it's so frustrating. this one person even told he was trying to include me in the conversation and that even a nod from me would be great. i just stand there and smile when there's nothing to smile about. this is so hard. how am i ever going to be in a relationship if i can't even make one friend?! hopefully you guys are having better luck.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

No, I haven't made any friends. I have a few (well, 2) people that I can borrow notes from and talk to about school assignments, but that's it. I eat alone, go to class alone, go home alone.... everything I do is done alone. People don't really attempt to speak to me. I just sort of sit around by myself, and then I leave.


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

I have my small group of friends I met in middle school plus some people I met through them. My best friend moved to another state though. I'm alone in most of my classes.


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## Vincenzo (Sep 24, 2005)

This year is going to be a repeat of last year and the year before. I miss out on the initial getting to know you **** because I commute, so by the time I get there groups of people have already solidified, so it will be a question of mustering the balls to just initiate things.

I will drop a few feelers with various people and make some initial friendships and have an active university social life, but I will eventually feel bad for imposing myself on people and spend the remainder of the semester avoiding them.


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## hwillis8 (Sep 22, 2007)

Nope. Though I try often, i'm just too awkward to make friends. And it doesn't help that I say in my dorm room all day either.


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

It's been 3 weeks, I avoid eye contact, seem to be having horrible days. I'm just so different. 

Girls really act like the girls on the Hills. They are catty. No one sits beside me. I shower daily, I wear deodorant. It's completely f'ing frustrating. I feel worse going to school then I did when I had to be around nobody.


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## Dovetailing (Jul 25, 2006)

SAgirl said:


> Girls really act like the girls on the Hills. They are catty.


I can't relate to most of my generation for this reason.
And here I thought things would be dramatically different from high-school. How naive of me. :sigh

I only just started, but I've since exchanged e-mails with one girl I met in Anthropology, whom I hope to keep up with. I talk to the people that sit next to me in my other classes, if they initiate a conversation, that is. That's about it.


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## Slothrop (Aug 11, 2007)

Hmm, this year I've made a good friend. It's bizarre in how similar he is to me, in many ways. But he's more of an extreme to me, was hardcore into drugs for a few years and is now cleaned up. I've shared more with him, despite only knowing him for a mere 6 weeks, than with any other friend before.


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## Dovetailing (Jul 25, 2006)

Slothrop said:


> Hmm, this year I've made a good friend. It's a bizarre in how similar he is to me, in many ways. But he's more of an extreme to me, was hardcore into drugs for a few years and is now cleaned up. I've shared more with him, despite only knowing him for a mere 6 weeks, than with any other friend before.


*envy*


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## whiterabbit (Jan 20, 2006)

I'm still as useless at making friends in my third year of university as I was in my first. I'm just going to concentrate more on my work and then maybe I won't have time to sit and think about how I don't have any friends.


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

I went to a school counselling session and my counsellor said that I may have to make the first move. Is anybody sitting here? What major are you in? type of questions. It's going to prove to be very difficult for me.


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## lawofthesnake (Sep 23, 2007)

I cant even find anyone to talk to :/


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## katelyn (Jul 11, 2006)

I graduated from university this year with a total of one friend, and although she's a really nice person and I get on with her, she has a large group of friends of her own and is way too busy to speak most of the time. I also made a lot of acquaintances, who I said hello to but that's about it.

It's all very well saying we must make the first move, I mean I agree with that, but I remember trying those types of questions in my first year and they just don't work for getting past the acquaintance stage. It seems something more is needed, some common ground or anything that allows an interesting conversation. My problem was, and still is, that my mind goes blank, I'm different to most other people my age, and the conversation just dries up after the small talk.


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## Dovetailing (Jul 25, 2006)

^ I feel you.


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

No. I don't really care.


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## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

Dovetailing said:


> SAgirl said:
> 
> 
> > Girls really act like the girls on the Hills. They are catty.
> ...


It's the same for me. I guess I expected college to be some phantasmal friend-gathering utopia. The only friends I have that I regularly talk to there are the few I had from high school that, VERY fortunately for me, happen to go to the same university. I almost made a friend in one of my classes, but she only attended the very first class and then I never saw her again. So, in summary, I guess I've made zero friends since school started.

And college was supposed to be my big chance.. :sigh


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## IllusionOfHappiness (Sep 6, 2007)

Karla said:


> i mean, everyone here is really nice and always makes attempts to talk to me but me being me i can't string 2 words together without anxiety. i can't even stand still, i play with my clothes, my hair, my books, etc and i even gulped multiple times.


There are nice people at my school too, and I know they try to include me but for the most part I just can't relate.

And I always do the things you just mentioned - gulping, playing with my hair/clothes. I don't feel very normal. There's one person in my entire school I'm like 90 % okay around.


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## lawofthesnake (Sep 23, 2007)

hwillis8 said:


> Nope. Though I try often, i'm just too awkward to make friends. And it doesn't help that I say in my dorm room all day either.


yeah that...


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## justJake (Jan 25, 2007)

My GF has basically been my crutch for like 4 years. It's not either of our faults, it's just how it turned out. I've been with her since my senior year in HS and now i'm a senior in college and the only "friends" I have are her friends. So if we ever breakup I'm SOL, which is why I keep them at a distance. She's basically my only real friend, which is NOT a good idea, but whats done is done.


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## jaayhou (Jun 20, 2007)

"Friends," "acquaintances," "people I had no choice but to talk to," yeah, many. The trouble that everybody knows everybody. Everybody fits in. I probably appear to fit in, but it's a struggle to do it everyday, or at least create that illusion. I go to outside-of-school get-togethers and parties, but only because I feel left out and outcast if I don't show up--because then people will ask "where were you," then eventually stop asking all together.

I've been ousted. I can't just blend in to the crowd anymore like I used to. It was so much more comfortable going to and from classes avoiding people in the past, but I can't do it anymore without, ironically, drawing attention to myself and looking like a freak. I literally take alternate routes through deserted hallways to class because I'm terrified of seeing someone I know. I bore _myself_ with the conversations I have with people. I have nothing to say to anyone anymore. I wish I did though.

It's a paradox...I felt lonely and guilty not knowing a soul and talking to no one during undergrad, but my instinct is to avoid the people I've built relationships with in grad school. I've had friends in life before, but these people I know now somehow don't fit the bill.

I know that I'll be in contact with many of these people years after I'm done with school, but there will always be a distance between us that I don't sense amongst themselves. I can't build close relationships with people anymore...they always get hung up somewhere before friendship develops. The opportunities are everywhere and it's my own fault for not taking advantage of them, but I don't where the problem lies. I guess I'm just done making friends in my life. It's all "hey, how ya doin'? Bye." from here on.


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## tobeyourselfisnotacrime (Jun 10, 2007)

I have only a few friends and am very thankful to them. 2 years ago I had none.


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## Meta Ridley (Jun 2, 2005)

I started this year at uni and I have no one so far  whenever someone has asked me something I've replied and I keep hoping someone will talk to me but no one does. Oh I also said something to this girl in my class because I thought she was asking me something she was actually talking to someone else and I felt embarrassed


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## Eraserhead (Sep 23, 2006)

I've made a few acquaintances, which is progress. I've gotten better at associating with people for sure. I still never feel comfortable however. For complex internal reasons, I haven't made any friends.


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## DuckandCover (Sep 20, 2007)

I made a few really good ones, but annoying aquaintances as well. It hasn't been so bad because most people in my school initiate conversation.
I agree with what SAgirl said. I can't relate to majority of girls because of their hills-like personality.
Can't seem to make friends who aren't girls though...


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## shygirlxx (Sep 7, 2006)

Nope. I only have one friend that I can actually bring myself to hang out with outside of school. I have a few acquantences, but wouldn't consider them friends.


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## winduptoy (Jun 21, 2005)

I think I might actually be making some. I've met a lot of people in my dorm and made plans with them. I can't believe it.


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## Babygirly (Dec 2, 2004)

So i had one friend that graduated almost a year ago -- haven't seen him since. ( =[ ) Now I have 2 people from school I talk to online that I had former classes with and i do not see them around now. We don't ever hang out in person, either. 

It saddens me b/c one of my main goals was to make a small circle of friends! D'oh


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## bauer_013 (Sep 26, 2007)

Not really. I have a couple acquaintances, but one of them I now kind of hate. And I sit with this one guy I know from my old school and his swimming buddies, but I get this feeling that I annoy them by being there. If they talk to me, it's only because I said something first. They never try to include me. I try to waste as much time as possible in line getting food I don't even like, then slowly walk over to the spot where they all sit.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

I went through 5 years of college without making a single friend. I completely pissed away what probably should've been the best years of my life. Instead all I have to show for my time in college is 5 years of sitting in my room browsing the Internet.


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