# Obsessing over a Person



## Vade (Mar 11, 2006)

I’m beginning to realize that I’m literally obsessed with one of my college roommates. I can’t get him (yes, a guy…) out of my head, so I’m constantly thinking about him, what he’s doing, etc. This is, in a way, causing me to suffer a bit in terms of my studies because it’s very difficult for me to concentrate on my assigned readings when I get this mental image of him every few seconds, so I’m a little behind. In a way I can understand my obsession since I don’t have any friends at my university (besides him, and I’m even starting to question this friendship, but that’s a separate topic). In the grand scheme of things, let’s just say that this situation is making my life very miserable. 

Has this ever happened to anyone, and if so, is there any way to live your life without constantly thinking about another person?


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## itsmemaggi (Sep 26, 2005)

Are you trying to live vicariously through this person? Honestly, it's not as abnormal as you think. Everyone obsesses about something...

xoxo
Maggi


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## Argo (May 1, 2005)

Been there, done that. The best thing to do is find something to keep your mind off him. I realize that may not help if the problem is that thoughts of him are distracting you from trying to do other things, but it's all I can tell you.


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

I used to be obsessed with somebody. I wanted to know everything about him and everything he did. When he would occasionally give me a tidbit of information about himself, I would think about it constantly. I put this guy up on a pedastle, I viewed him as perfect even though common sense and logic told me that no human is perfect. One time I even waited outside the place he worked so I could secretly follow him home and then I realized I was going too far and I didn't want to turn into some kind of crazed stalker. Eventually, I moved away and my obsession faded. Now I just view him as a role model, someone I might want to model my life after, but I don't think about him constantly anymore.


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## down123 (Jun 22, 2005)

*I FEEL YOUR PAIN!*

MAN OH MAN! that is my problem right now too! im totally obsessed with this one guy as well. it is like my whole life revolves around him! for example, when i wake up in the morning i have trouble finding out what to wear for the day just in case i might just happen to run into him.

im literally always thinking about him every second of everyday, and i want to know everything about him and what he is doing! and everything that he has said to me in the past, i analyze his words to see if they meant anything. i am aware of irrational thoughts as well, but i honestly do think there is something between us, its weird. he has hit on me a few times.

the trouble is, hes friends with my boyfried, and for that I FEEL REALLY HORRIBLE, very guilty FOR THINKING LIKE THIS,. ive had this crush for a looooooong time and i cant seem to get over it!! it really causes a lot of distress in my life. im even pushing my boyfriend away from me and being emotionally distant with him although i love him dearly. and another thing, because i have this anxiety, in one way i want to see this guy when i get the chance, but then in another way i dont want to unless i look good and feel confident because i become very anxious and nervous around him, and start acting so stupid that it embarasses me and makes me LITERALLY depressed, so ive chosen to AVOID him at times. when im by myself or with my own friends and hes in the same bar/restaurant/area but may be across the room (and were not talking one on one), im ok, i can function with my friends, but when i come around him, i really lose my breath and become very anxious and cant speak!

but yeah i can relate with "whiteclouds" when she noted how she was obsessed with some guy and wanted to follow him home. ive felt like doing that too, driving by his place to see if i can catch a glimpse of him, and wanting to call him private just to hear his voice (although i managed to stop myself from doing that which is good!) but then i stop and think to myself, this is weird, im being weird, i do feel like a stalker and i need to stop thinking like this! but its really hard!

is something wrong with me! i really feel there is!!

i really dont know what to do or how to get over him! I DONT EVEN KNOW IF I WANT TO?!?!?! i would love to be with this crush but im in a wonderful relationship as well. so im torn in two. . in one way i want to get over this crush because its tormenting my life, but on the other hand its like im trying or wanting to hold onto this crush just in case something can happen in the near future!

i also dont feel confident in my looks, and thats whats bothering me too, because this crush can get any beautiful girl that i cannot compare too. i feel like an ugly duckling.

IM SO CONFUSED!! IM LOST! can anyone else relate!! HELP!!!!!


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## Squizzy (Dec 21, 2004)

Yep all the time. I am notorious (lol, at least in my own mind) for obsessing about people for months on end. The only thing that I've found to kill this obssession is time, distance, or both. Maybe let the obsession run it's course and don't try to fight it, and if it doesn't fade after a while try to distance yourself from the person. Get involved with things that will distract you. 

And hey Down123, don't know if you've posted a lot recently but I haven't see you around in a while and was wondering what had happened to you! You might not remember me but whenever I read your posts I could always relate to them. The post on this thread too. If there is something wrong with you then there's something wrong with me because I do that same sorts of things.


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## Maike (Sep 29, 2004)

*Re: I FEEL YOUR PAIN!*



down123 said:


> MAN OH MAN! that is my problem right now too! im totally obsessed with this one guy as well. it is like my whole life revolves around him! for example, when i wake up in the morning i have trouble finding out what to wear for the day just in case i might just happen to run into him.
> 
> im literally always thinking about him every second of everyday, and i want to know everything about him and what he is doing! and everything that he has said to me in the past, i analyze his words to see if they meant anything. i am aware of irrational thoughts as well, but i honestly do think there is something between us, its weird. he has hit on me a few times.
> 
> ...


Oh my god! I can totally relate! I just came on here intending to start a thread about it but what you said is exactly how I would describe my situation!!! I too have been emotionally distant with my boyfriend because of slight attention from another guy, it's so ridiculous. I also play out scenes and conversations in my head of me and this guy...then I have to stop myself and just tell myself to get real! I am at a loss as to what is wrong with me?! Am I just insecure and am looking for attention from anyone I can get ot from? It's just that my boyfriend is such a fantastic person, he's level headed and knows about my problems and wants me to get better so why am I obsessing about someone I don't even know that well?? I wish I had some answers here but I just try and tell myself to be rational, but don't worry you're not alone!


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## down123 (Jun 22, 2005)

hi everyone....its me again....sad to say but......im still 'obsessed' with this guy :S. i posted this about a year ago. 

what does that mean on my part? its still tearing me up inside . im trying sooo hard to fix myself up and to realize this is not healthy to think this way but nothing will set me free from this stress . seeing him or talking to him still brings me anxiety then i end up avoiding him. its sooo bad. and im still with my boyfriend who loves me to bits and when im with him i just think about this other person . what is wrong with me? like really....


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

You have to look at what is drawing your thoughts? Does he have something you feel you lack? If so, what is it - and can you develop it on your own.


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## barnabas (Apr 24, 2007)

barnabas, too, used to be obsessed with a certain someone for over three months. D:

fortunately she then developed a shorter and shorter attention span. :b

as horrible as this sounds, barnabas thinks you should break up with you boyfriend because you don't seem to really love him and you stay with him only because "he loves you to bits." if possible, try to move far, far away from him and the person you're obsessed with. in a new place, you can get acquainted with new people and (eventually) forget all about your former crush slash unhealthy obsession.


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

Woah old post! I used to think about a lot a therapist I fell in love with. Then I stopped by amusing myself that she was an old hag! :lol An old hot hag! :lol


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## Fireflylight (Sep 2, 2004)

Yeah I do/have had that happen.


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## down123 (Jun 22, 2005)

how can i get over this too long obsession? its been way too long and its making me suffer. i think about this person every waking minute of every day. and when at the odd times we see each other i analyze the way he is with me and the things he says to me....why??? i know he must think im on the verge of being insane because i still cant really talk to him in a civilized and proper manner after all these years of knowing him and at being 24 years old... like commone .


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## sh0x (Oct 9, 2006)

yeah i can definately relate to this, i'm completely obsessed over my ex-therapist but shes married with kids........so yeah thats not good....


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## sh0x (Oct 9, 2006)

*Re: re: Obsessing over a Person*



down123 said:


> hi everyone....its me again....sad to say but......im still 'obsessed' with this guy :S. i posted this about a year ago.
> 
> what does that mean on my part? its still tearing me up inside . im trying sooo hard to fix myself up and to realize this is not healthy to think this way but nothing will set me free from this stress . seeing him or talking to him still brings me anxiety then i end up avoiding him. its sooo bad. and im still with my boyfriend who loves me to bits and when im with him i just think about this other person . what is wrong with me? like really....


do you like this guy more than your boyfriend? or is just mostly physical attraction? it sounds like you're in love with him


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## down123 (Jun 22, 2005)

yeah i really really like this guy ALOT. but hes in a relationship to with this amazingly beautiful woman. and there is no way i would compare to her. people would prob make fun of this guy if he left her for me lol. i dont know if he knows i like him lol. prob does cuz i can never talk around him or with him. he must think im a fool for real. . but i still want him :S. even though we cant make conversation and have awkward moments :s.

this is so horrible. and im in a long time relationship too. and this guy loves me sooo much too. and hes already talking about a life and future with me and ending life in the same cemetary with me too lol. he would do anything for me!! literally! he would give me anything!! and he believes in me that i can do anything even though i have SA (although i dont think he really realizes what SA is and how affected i am...he just thinks i will grow out of it and that its no big deal) but all i feel for this guy is that he is my best friend right now. i didnt want to get so deep in this relationship but me with this SA i had noone else to talk to. he was always there for me to give me advive and to hang out. and now he wants to be with me forever! i barely had a chance to experience life! im so confused i dont know what to do! im pretty much going to be with this guy forever now too :S. i wish i could just do my things for a little while and then come back to him when i felt satisfied but it doesnt work like that. we cant call a time off theres no way. his family, my family and him would be like "what the [email protected]?" everyone is pretty much expecting us to get married...literally...expecting us. i said "not yet" but regardless, they are expecting it between us at some point in life. im doomed :S.

and i cant even believe im on here obsessing and thinking about this guy which is prompting me to write all thic [email protected]while i should really be focusing on MY life and my school and my work but i cant. and this guy that i like is prob enjoying himself right now NOT even thinking one bit of me . so i cant believe i waste my time thinking about him!!! but i cant stop it :S.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

I do this sometimes too and I hate it. :sigh


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## sh0x (Oct 9, 2006)

*Re: re: Obsessing over a Person*



down123 said:


> yeah i really really like this guy ALOT. but hes in a relationship to with this amazingly beautiful woman. and there is no way i would compare to her. people would prob make fun of this guy if he left her for me lol. i dont know if he knows i like him lol. prob does cuz i can never talk around him or with him. he must think im a fool for real. . but i still want him :S. even though we cant make conversation and have awkward moments :s.
> 
> this is so horrible. and im in a long time relationship too. and this guy loves me sooo much too. and hes already talking about a life and future with me and ending life in the same cemetary with me too lol. he would do anything for me!! literally! he would give me anything!! and he believes in me that i can do anything even though i have SA (although i dont think he really realizes what SA is and how affected i am...he just thinks i will grow out of it and that its no big deal) but all i feel for this guy is that he is my best friend right now. i didnt want to get so deep in this relationship but me with this SA i had noone else to talk to. he was always there for me to give me advive and to hang out. and now he wants to be with me forever! i barely had a chance to experience life! im so confused i dont know what to do! im pretty much going to be with this guy forever now too :S. i wish i could just do my things for a little while and then come back to him when i felt satisfied but it doesnt work like that. we cant call a time off theres no way. his family, my family and him would be like "what the [email protected]?" everyone is pretty much expecting us to get married...literally...expecting us. i said "not yet" but regardless, they are expecting it between us at some point in life. im doomed :S.
> 
> and i cant even believe im on here obsessing and thinking about this guy which is prompting me to write all thic [email protected]while i should really be focusing on MY life and my school and my work but i cant. and this guy that i like is prob enjoying himself right now NOT even thinking one bit of me . so i cant believe i waste my time thinking about him!!! but i cant stop it :S.


it sounds like you feel a bit trapped in your current relationship....maybe it would help if you asked for a bit of space....if he really loves you i think he would respect your wishes......also i think you should try to do whats best for you, rather than what other people want or expect you to do.....anyways good luck


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## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

I always do this. I obsess over one girl to the next. It's really pathetic. I'm utterly alone when I'm not around a person I don't even know. All I do is day dream about them like 24/7.


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## Restless Mind (Jul 19, 2006)

*Re: I FEEL YOUR PAIN!*



down123 said:


> MAN OH MAN! that is my problem right now too! im totally obsessed with this one guy as well. it is like my whole life revolves around him! for example, when i wake up in the morning i have trouble finding out what to wear for the day just in case i might just happen to run into him.
> 
> im literally always thinking about him every second of everyday, and i want to know everything about him and what he is doing! and everything that he has said to me in the past, i analyze his words to see if they meant anything. i am aware of irrational thoughts as well, but i honestly do think there is something between us, its weird. he has hit on me a few times.
> 
> ...


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence

Welcome to the club.


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## down123 (Jun 22, 2005)

WOW RestlessMind, that really puts things into better perspective about whats going on with me. 

its so sad. i never know if i should continue to pursue my feelings thinking that something someday might come out of it...but then i think im wasting my time because hes probably not thinking one bit about me  and then i feel that im just silly for thinking this way, like i have a mental issue or something . 

this sucks, i wish i didnt let these things get to me or bother me because it really takes away from my focus, concentration and life . i wish i were free from all this distress


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## embers (Dec 19, 2006)

I was obsessed with someone until about a week ago. She put a stalker device on her myspace. So...i'm done.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

*Re: re: Obsessing over a Person*



embers said:


> I was obsessed with someone until about a week ago. She put a stalker device on her myspace. So...i'm done.


A tracker thing? I dont think those things really work...that's what I've heard anyway. I might be wrong though. :stu


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## SilentProphet (Jun 1, 2007)

I seen those things! Listed in peoples messages right? The "see who is looking at your myspace page"


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## gwen (Feb 16, 2007)

i think i'm just obsessive in general. sometimes people just pop into my head and i start going into these stories about how great they are- well were. How wonderful their lives must be now and how dumb my life is in comparison. 
Right now i'm obsessed with some stranger who doesn't live in my neighborhood but who shows up here sometimes. I only know he's here when his car's parked outside. I'm not even sure what he looks like really, i just fantasize about him. I just have nothing better to do I guess- and even if i did have something better to do it won't stop the fantasizing. i just let it run through my head some times- acknowledge the fact that these thoughts aren't really helpful- try not to put myself down for having them and than just move on to hopefully something better.


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## embers (Dec 19, 2006)

> I was obsessed with someone until about a week ago. She put a stalker device on her myspace. So...i'm done.
> 
> A tracker thing? I dont think those things really work...that's what I've heard anyway. I might be wrong though.


Not sure if they work either, but not taking any chances.



> I seen those things! Listed in peoples messages right? The "see who is looking at your myspace page"


I clicked on a profile who sent her a way too cozy message, and boom, stalker tracker window comes up (McAfee caught it). I felt like such a scumbag.


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## Nutnutnut (Jun 2, 2007)

I obsess with someone every year lol
This year it was N.M
last year L.V.
year before my french teacher ><
then there was that year where I obsessed over no one, I was in a bad SA year, very depressed
my english teacher =X
a character at tv
then I don't remember

One a year but I never got myself to talk to any of them because of SA


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

I have a similar scenario. It has existed for sometime but is getting way worse. Like the feelings went up massively. From slight attraction to off the charts. To where I'm afraid I may actually go for it. Ofcourse mine were directed towards a girl. I'm obviously not in a relationship, she is. I feel like a scumbag. I'll leave it vague. But the feeling is burning ridiculously strong right now. The other worry I have is there is a slight chance if I actually pushed hard enough I could end up with her. But without getting into the details I'd feel great and horrible at the sametime if I succeeded. The fact that I would feel great makes me feel like a scumbag.


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## sparklehorse (Feb 13, 2004)

I do this too, once it caused me to have the worst panic attack I have ever had, when the object of obsession came in to see me at a very public front desk.

but I really think these types of obsessions are just another form of avoidance, it often happens for me when I am feeling particularly empty in my life, these obsessions fill a void, and they also let you avoid working on your issues.


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## QuietCoral (Mar 23, 2005)

yeah i do this too. its so annoying because i always end up liking guys who are just never going to work out for usually many many reasons.....


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## When-All-Light-Dies (May 10, 2007)

I wish it was that simple for me. This is an interesting topic. I have never obsessed over a girl to the extent some of you have obsessed. Typically my problem is if I cant get a girl out of my mind I paint an unfair picture of them being perfect, lucky for me most of the girls I really liked I eventually became close to at one point. One girl who was very attractive I liked through my first two years of college I later met in a different city, she recognized me. At first I thought this is great, and when we started hanging out I realized the picture I painted in my mind a year or so ago was far from what she was really like. On the other side I tend to push girls away I became close to and used to love because Im worried they will find flaws in me. Its like a dual problem for me once I get close to them its almost surreal and I push them away before they can find flaws in me, and/or I developed unfair expectations of them. I dont know if theres more I can research on this, but its a big problem for me. I really dont know what my problem is. I need to lower my expectations for myself and of them. This is probably because my first girlfreind who I spent the longest time with was very judgmental about everything.


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## sparklehorse (Feb 13, 2004)

Yeah, I usually obssess about people i don't know very well at all, and fantasise these complex scenarios around who i think they are. "Oh he likes this author" and "We'll holiday in aspen with our 2.4 children" . Quite mad really!! Then when you do talk to them, they are not who you thought they are at all!! And It kills the fantasy/obsession dead man!

So If i'm being good with my social phobia, i'll try and confront the issue by talking to them immediately, so they are a real person not a figment of my fevered imagination.


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## barnabas (Apr 24, 2007)

*Re: re: Obsessing over a Person*



embers said:


> I was obsessed with someone until about a week ago. She put a stalker device on her myspace. So...i'm done.


zomg! that device is annoying! :x

it's even more annoying when people suddenly make their profile page private. as if creepy stalkers they haven't personally invited to their page would want to know all about them. tsk. :roll


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## embers (Dec 19, 2006)

> zomg! that device is annoying!
> 
> it's even more annoying when people suddenly make their profile page private. as if *creepy* stalkers they haven't personally invited to their page would want to know all about them. tsk.


hey is it still creepy if she likes being stalked?


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## crazyg (Jun 18, 2005)

*Re: re: Obsessing over a Person*



down123 said:


> yeah i really really like this guy ALOT. but hes in a relationship to with this amazingly beautiful woman. and there is no way i would compare to her. people would prob make fun of this guy if he left her for me lol. i dont know if he knows i like him lol. prob does cuz i can never talk around him or with him. he must think im a fool for real. . but i still want him :S. even though we cant make conversation and have awkward moments :s.
> 
> this is so horrible. and im in a long time relationship too. and this guy loves me sooo much too. and hes already talking about a life and future with me and ending life in the same cemetary with me too lol. he would do anything for me!! literally! he would give me anything!! and he believes in me that i can do anything even though i have SA (although i dont think he really realizes what SA is and how affected i am...he just thinks i will grow out of it and that its no big deal) but all i feel for this guy is that he is my best friend right now. i didnt want to get so deep in this relationship but me with this SA i had noone else to talk to. he was always there for me to give me advive and to hang out. and now he wants to be with me forever! i barely had a chance to experience life! im so confused i dont know what to do! im pretty much going to be with this guy forever now too :S. i wish i could just do my things for a little while and then come back to him when i felt satisfied but it doesnt work like that. we cant call a time off theres no way. his family, my family and him would be like "what the [email protected]?" everyone is pretty much expecting us to get married...literally...expecting us. i said "not yet" but regardless, they are expecting it between us at some point in life. im doomed :S.
> 
> and i cant even believe im on here obsessing and thinking about this guy which is prompting me to write all thic [email protected]while i should really be focusing on MY life and my school and my work but i cant. and this guy that i like is prob enjoying himself right now NOT even thinking one bit of me . so i cant believe i waste my time thinking about him!!! but i cant stop it :S.


Not knowing the full situation, I could be completely off base here. But, do you think your obsession has something to do with the feelings you have for your current relationship? It sounds like you're not ready to "settle down." And you're fantasizing about getting away from your current relationship. Really....if you're dissatisfied you should tell your boyfriend. You're not really doing him a favour by staying with him just because you're scared to move on. And you never know, if he does really love you and want to be with you, he might just give you space to experience "dating", etc. Then, afterwards, if you still want to be with him, you can take things from there. It sounds like you'd be making a mistake just staying, though. That's my opinion.


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## roseyred (May 20, 2007)

How about this. Start a website or phone service called something oh say, semi-neutral like "Your secret admirer" or "Full Experience" where the service contacts your crush and with no pressure asks them if they would like to participate in a series of interviews with an anonymous crushee. 

I know how freaky it is to have someone obsessed over you and act on that obsession without your approval. It can get down right stupid. But may I put forward a question? Would you regardless of your situation want to spend the rest of your life not knowing who else may have had a crush on you?


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## sparkations (Nov 26, 2003)

yep, same problem. I hate it. I feel almost like i'm brainwashed. co dependent. I share a personal experience of falling in love with a guy when I was 16. I was ****ed up in highschool. I remember being extremely shy, a loner. I started to even get a bit paranoid, I started to get all these irrational thoughts. 

He was very vibrant, colourful, popular, outgoing. All the things that I knew I was inside, but never showed to the world because I was plagued with insecurities about how others viewed me. He asked me out eventually, and we went out for about a month before my asian mom forbid me to see him cause she was overdramatic and thought he was a horny *******-but really, what teenage boy isn't? lol. 

Anyhow, I put him up on a pedastal. He reached out to me. We stopped talking after my mom pushed him away, and for years I kept obsessing over him. Its because there wasn't any closure too. There were things I wanted to tell him but was too chicken to, like how much he influenced my life, how I wanted to thank him, etc etc. I finally mustered up the courage to do that, and I stopped thinking about him.

Also, he was my first boyfriend. I'm sure if I started dating a guy and fell in love with him, I probably would have forgotten him quickly.

Therefore, I think the underlying reasons why people obsess over others is because they possess a personality trait they have, but keep hidden. Are the people you obsess over very outgoing and social and successful and beautiful? Maybe you wish you were them too?

Also, we obsess and mull over things when there isn't closure. Just say what you want to say, otherwise, you will continue to think about them.


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## tinselhair (Nov 12, 2006)

Vade said:


> Has this ever happened to anyone, and if so, is there any way to live your life without constantly thinking about another person?


I still obsess about a guy I was in love with (and it wasn't reciprocated) in 1986! I'm serious.

When I do this, which is not as much as I used to--I try and think of him the way he looks and acts now and to remember how he treated me.

Sometimes I wish that part of my memory would cease to exist. And it just may--if I get Alzheimer's--not planning on it, but one never knows.

He's one memory I would be glad to get rid of--except as a fantasy. he's useful in that way, actually. Hmmmmmmmmmmm....maybe that's why I'm keeping him around--subconsciously. I hadn't thought of that until now.

TS :con :stu


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## Andrew White (Aug 18, 2007)

I find it easy to get obsessed with people, but not people I know (as I don't know anyone ). If I start to like a certain band or singer, or artist I start to research them and then start reading everything they ever said or did and it's horrible. I actually had to stop listening to a band because I know I have too strong a connection with the singer and his life. It's not a romantic infatuation, I'm not gay, it's more than that.

Also, I have found that viewing the video blogs of people with SA/depression to be capable of generating obsessions with me. It's all crap, I know that and the best way to deal with it is to stop. But it's hard because it's something you WANT to do, so stopping goes against what you want even though you know it is the right thing to do.


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## soundsgood (Nov 7, 2005)

Having social anxiety probally means we have greater tendency to place more importance / thought into our relationships. As well SA usually means we probally don't have as many friends as most hence obsessive thoughts about another person is pretty unsuprising. All I can recommend is trying to forge some new aquaintances - not an easy thing with SA!


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## down123 (Jun 22, 2005)

UM.....sad to say but............im still obsessing over this particular person :SSS. my finaces friend. im in a long term relationship for approx 7 years,engaged (although i told my fiance i wasnt ready for the ring, he still wanted me to wear it. sigh.) its not that easy to get out or to put a hold on things. well i have been putting things on hold but it is still pretty much expected of us to someday get married :S. and i dont feel complete with him for some reason? hes the sweetest guy to me. but i just lost my attractivess to him. im not intimate with him anymore, barely. but he still loves me and is staying with me. he plans out his future with me. he says i am his everything and what would he do without me etc etc. i dont know what to do. i feel stuck. im not moving forward in my relationship. im really trying to stall things. i cant move forward with these feelings. its just not right. but my fiance doesnt get it sometimes. he doesnt see it. he thinks everything is just perfect between us. and then there i am with this horrible long time crush (approx 4 years) with his friend. 
what am i to do? will i ever get over this crush? should i pursue it? am i crazy? should i try to work things out with my fiance? will i ever be satisfied in life??? help me please!! someone!!! i need advice!!!


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## Moonlite7189 (Aug 26, 2007)

I think its pretty normal obsessing over someone(as long as it doesnt turn to extreme stalking :eek ).. it probably just means that you care about him/like him/want to be his friend?/worried, because you might lose him? I guess you're obessing over it alot, because maybe you haven't had a close friend for so long? so you constantly think about him because you like him very much and haven't been able to think about other people for a long time... -shrugs- :mushy but that's happened to me twice before.. and it was after not having friends for a long time and those two people I really really liked and wanted to be their friend, and cared about them.


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## bright572 (Jan 22, 2006)

-


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## Andrew White (Aug 18, 2007)

*Re: re: Obsessing over a Person*



soundsgood said:


> Having social anxiety probally means we have greater tendency to place more importance / thought into our relationships. As well SA usually means we probally don't have as many friends as most hence obsessive thoughts about another person is pretty unsuprising. All I can recommend is trying to forge some new aquaintances - not an easy thing with SA!


Well said. The less people we know and interact with, the more important each interaction becomes. When you know practically no one, it is easy for the few to turn into obsessions., *if* you aren't careful. Recognise your feelings for what they are and deal with them accordingly.


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## jess3308 (Nov 16, 2012)

My personal opinion is that by obessing over this individual you are distracting yourself from something. I dont think this person is really anything to you but maybe your attracted to him and you are trying to distract yourself from dealing with your own emotions. I think you should get counseling and speak to someone about it.. maybe figure out what is so painful for you that you are avoiding it.


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## jess3308 (Nov 16, 2012)

Wow I just realized [ down123 ] that this was five years ago. I am very interested in hearing about your progress!! please post a reply


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

It sucks being obsessed with someone who will never like you back... well that's in my case.


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## identificationunknown (Jan 23, 2014)

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## crackerjack (May 25, 2012)

there's a name for this "condition". check out this site and hopefully, knowing that there's a name for it will help everyone who's suffering from this difficult problem, especially *down123*. may God bless you and heal your hearts

http://bthaw.blogspot.com/2011/08/guide-to-limerence.html


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