# Starting senior year of college… paralyzed by anxiety… want to just quit…



## anawnymousseK (Oct 24, 2011)

I am about to start my senior year and going to college has just been unbearable and pointless at this point. The anxiety and depression of going back has been so bad that for the past week that I can barely eat, sleep, and I don’t even enjoy or want to partake in the hobbies that I have enjoyed my whole life. I have made no friends and the acquaintances that I had made are those that you stop talking to after you’re done having classes with them or being roommates with them. Pretty much nothing has changed for me since my freshman year of college. I tried hard to make friends my second year of college by joining clubs and even trying to join a frat, but I just end up being the awkward one and the one who weirded out everyone so I quit the frat knowing that I was essentially just paying for friends at that point. By third year I simply just didn’t care anymore and essentially became a hermit who lived alone in an off campus studio apartment (couldn’t stand my last roommate) who just studied and went home on the weekends.


Additionally I have just come to the conclusion that I absolutely dread and suck at my major (chem engineering) and only recklessly pushed through it for the money. I have made no friends in my major and have weirded out my peers so much so that they avoid me like the plague. I already know I’m going to fail one of my classes this quarter as the material difficult, the professor is horrible at teaching and is of no help during office hours, and I have no one to fallback to. I’m pretty sure I won’t even get an internship or a job after graduating due to social anxiety and my social ineptness. I just want to quit and change my major to god knows what or drop out of college altogether but I know that is stupid because as I have only 6 classes and a project left and I have worked so hard to get to this point and to maintain my 3.60 gpa and it would devastate my parents knowing that they have financially supported me for everything this whole time. I am at a loss at this point but I know that I’ll try to see the school shrink as soon as I get back to school.


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## FrostGiant (Mar 31, 2013)

I know exactly how you feel as I'm in the same situation. I'm in my final year at university, feel like I've been there forever as I took a year off and my old classmates have graduated now and I still have another year to go, and now I'm in a class with people who are very clicky and though I have made several efforts they remain very unfriendly towards to me. I've actually hated the course since first year as it isn't well taught and I feel that I'm not getting a good education or the skills I need, and am very doubtful I will get a job in the field I want and have to do a lot of self study to try and keep up with the standard of other courses. But I can't quit as my family won't let me, all throughout the course they have pushed me to stay. I really don't want to do the third year but if I don't then the 3 years I've been there will have been for nothing and I having a degree is always a good thing.

What I suggest is forget about other people for a moment, and focus on *you *and your studies, I focus too much on the people on my course and why it is hard to make friends with them but it's not worth the effort, when I think about it they aren't people I want to be friends with anyway. With SA we focus too much on others, and in turn forget to focus on us. I'm still learning too but this is the kind of attitude I want to adopt this year!


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## Tumbling Destiny (May 13, 2012)

I'm really sorry to hear it. Honestly, I feel like I'm in an extremely similar situation as you so I'm not exactly in a position to give you any advice.



anawnymousseK said:


> I absolutely dread and suck at my major (chem engineering) and only recklessly pushed through it for the money.





> 3.60 gpa


While I know grades aren't everything, I think it's safe to say you probably don't suck as bad as you think you do. I think a 3.6 is a really admirable GPA, especially in a major as difficult as chemical engineering. Regarding the class, is it out of the question to try and make a friend? Or are there TA's you could talk to? You could also consult your school's academic services office if there is one; sometimes they have general tutors for a wide variety of things or they could at least refer you to other ways to get help.

You seem like you get down on yourself pretty easily. Don't say you're going to fail before you've even given things a good and thorough try!! That goes for landing an internship/job too. I think a lot of people feel similar to the way you do - I know I can totally relate with a lot of what you said, both socially and academically. I think you probably think other people have it a lot better than they really do. Good luck with the therapist and finishing up your college career, I'm really hoping you make it through the rest in relatively stress-freely!


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## anawnymousseK (Oct 24, 2011)

Tumbling Destiny said:


> I'm really sorry to hear it. Honestly, I feel like I'm in an extremely similar situation as you so I'm not exactly in a position to give you any advice.
> 
> While I know grades aren't everything, I think it's safe to say you probably don't suck as bad as you think you do. I think a 3.6 is a really admirable GPA, especially in a major as difficult as chemical engineering. Regarding the class, is it out of the question to try and make a friend? Or are there TA's you could talk to? You could also consult your school's academic services office if there is one; sometimes they have general tutors for a wide variety of things or they could at least refer you to other ways to get help.
> 
> You seem like you get down on yourself pretty easily. Don't say you're going to fail before you've even given things a good and thorough try!! That goes for landing an internship/job too. I think a lot of people feel similar to the way you do - I know I can totally relate with a lot of what you said, both socially and academically. I think you probably think other people have it a lot better than they really do. Good luck with the therapist and finishing up your college career, I'm really hoping you make it through the rest in relatively stress-freely!


I wouldnt say its out of the question but it would be difficult as it is a small department and little cliques have already formed. It's like high school all over again. And unfortunately we dont have TAs and there are no general tutors for classes in your senior year. I guess I'll try to push through this senior year but my anxiety is at an all time high ironically. I shouldve just took a break this quarter


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## Aardvark (Sep 23, 2014)

I was the EXACT same way up until a few weeks ago. People avoided me A LOT. Then I just randomly became really talkative and started using humor to my advantage, and now people always listen when I speak


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## velocicaur (Aug 8, 2009)

You should be proud of yourself for knocking out chemical engineering - the most difficult undergraduate degree - with such success. That is a huge accomplishment and don't downplay the significance of it. Even if you never work in that field, you have learned many skills that will help you find employment in other fields.

I would go to your school services and get all the help that you can. Counseling, referral psychiatrist, group counseling with fellow classmates struggling with the same issues, etc.

Don't worry so much about your future classes. You are smart and you know what you are doing. You will have to apply yourself, but with the help you may receive from the previous paragraph, you will get through it just fine.

From personal experience (also a senior drop out), taking a break was not good for me. It made going back even harder, and 5 years later, I still have not completed it and it CONSTANTLY nags me. IMO, seek out the help you need, and finish up. You will be able to "close" the college chapter of your life and move onto the next stage.... whatever that takes you.


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