# Am I too old for her?



## babylemonade (Nov 24, 2011)

I'm 30. She's 20.

She's very shy and awkward with me. But lately she has made these attempts to talk to me more, saying hi whenever we walk past one another at work, or asking really dumb silly work questions just to talk to me.

Is she just being nice? I'd say she's quite a shy and unusual girl, but there's something otherworldly and quiet about her. Is it likely that a girl that age would like me?


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

No, that sounds like a reasonable age difference.

Now if you were 50, I'd say that you have no chance. But 30 and 20 is fine.


----------



## geon106 (Apr 28, 2012)

babylemonade said:


> I'm 30. She's 20.
> 
> She's very shy and awkward with me. But lately she has made these attempts to talk to me more, saying hi whenever we walk past one another at work, or asking really dumb silly work questions just to talk to me.
> 
> Is she just being nice? I'd say she's quite a shy and unusual girl, but there's something otherworldly and quiet about her. Is it likely that a girl that age would like me?


Seems fine, shes 20 so over 18.

Don't get your hopes up in case shes just being nice and friendly. But try and hang out with her and focus on building up a friendship... hopefully it may then develop into something more, but if it doesn't you've made a good friend


----------



## Owl-99 (Mar 7, 2012)

Get in there son.:love


----------



## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

No, i would say thats fine. I know a guy who is 31 and is in a relationship with a 21 year old and they seem really happy.

Now if you were 26 and dating a 16 year old, that would be kinda weird.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

It's not an unreasonable age difference. I would somehow try to figure out what she thinks about you.


----------



## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

As long as we're all offering opinions as if they mattered... yes, yes you are.

Think about how much of a baby you were when you were 20. She's no different.


----------



## Whatev (Feb 6, 2012)

No your not too old for her, most of the girls I've met around that age are into older guys anyway. Besides your both adults, good luck.


----------



## forex (Dec 29, 2010)

does she knows your age ?
am almost 30 yet i look like a 
someone in his twenties.(i don't look mature)

and no your not too old for her.


----------



## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

babylemonade said:


> I'm 30. She's 20.
> 
> She's very shy and awkward with me. But lately she has made these attempts to talk to me more, saying hi whenever we walk past one another at work, or asking really dumb silly work questions just to talk to me.
> 
> Is she just being nice? I'd say she's quite a shy and unusual girl, but there's something otherworldly and quiet about her. Is it likely that a girl that age would like me?


 All you can do is give it a go. What it's going to boil down to is what she thinks of the age difference. She's legal (by a comfortable margin) so it doesn't matter one bit what anyone else thinks.

Just this. In today's world, she is more likely to be a little uncomfortable with it than she might have been in the past. Simply because people can be kind of retarded about these things now and are more likely to be heavily influenced by what everyone else thinks.

I would say if you don't want to deal with this issue, you'd be better off looking for someone closer to your own age. Sooner or later, it's probably gonna be an issue.

But frankly, if I was making the unspoken rules, there would be no reason why a 30 and a 20 year old couldn't get together.


----------



## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

No. Now if you were 40 then yes. It depends on the maturity level and how well ya'll get a long and if she is comfortable with it.


----------



## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

I'm 30, and I'd date an 18-20 year age old if she's comfortable with it. And as well as being independent, that doesn't necessary mean that she has to live on her own but as long as she has her own car and financially dependent on her own then I don't see any problem with it.

I haven't changed much since 20, still struggling with the same problems I had ten years ago. So it's not like I'm well far advanced in life experience than she is.


----------



## SeverelyShyandQuiet (Aug 13, 2006)

She'll always be 20 yrs older. When you are 60 she will be 50.
Hard to enjoy your senior years together. When you have children.
your spouse will be way younger, can enjoy a longer more enjoyable life
with you and her kids. 

That is the only problem marrying a person many years younger.
You will be 20 years in to your senior than her. Not a very good life with your wife 
and children. Without children your life with your wife may end up, with you
to old to be going out with her. It will be like she was looking for a father figure.
Don't fall in love with her to the point, you can't live with out her. Fine to be friends.


----------



## elvin jones (Dec 12, 2011)

Having a younger sister makes me feel more guarded by large age gaps. If a 30 year old tried to get with her, I'd probably murder him.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

If you look younger than your age or if you have money then it might be okay, otherwise no. 

Haven't you made 3 or 4 similar threads about 20 year old women you have the hots for?


----------



## Elixir (Jun 19, 2012)

SeverelyShyandQuiet said:


> *She'll always be 20 yrs older*. When you are 60 she will be 50.
> Hard to enjoy your senior years together. When you have children.
> your spouse will be way younger, can enjoy a longer more enjoyable life
> with you and her kids.
> ...


Erm......he is *10 years* younger than her not 20. I don't think it's too much of a big deal. I'd say go for it.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

I am expecting an update within two days.


----------



## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

Nope, not considered weird in my eyes. As you get older, then a gap like that won't even matter...I'll be 20 next month, and I've talked to a guy before who is almost 7 years older than me; I seem to do better with the ones who are that far apart in age.


----------



## Whitney (Oct 2, 2008)

Elixir said:


> Erm......he is *10 years* younger than her not 20. I don't think it's too much of a big deal. I'd say go for it.


and older not younger...


----------



## gusstaf (Jan 1, 2012)

It really depends on where the two of you are at maturity-wise. At surface level, no 20 is not too young. But a lot of 20-year-olds have trouble seeing eye-to-eye with people in their thirties, simply because they are usually in completely different stages of life.


----------



## Tirekyll (Jun 12, 2012)

it isn't the age difference

it's either pedophilia or gold digging for the extremes. 

real love has no limit of age


----------



## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

rednosereindeer said:


> As long as we're all offering opinions as if they mattered... yes, yes you are.
> 
> Think about how much of a baby you were when you were 20. She's no different.


I agree with this. A 30-year-old and a 20-year-old are at entirely different stages in their lives, and that 20-year-old probably hasn't experienced the world yet.


----------



## CoastalSprite (Sep 8, 2011)

If you two click I don't see anything wrong with it.. As a 20yo I'd prefer a guy around my age, but that's because I feel like an inexperienced, silly kid rather than an equal to older guys :blank


----------



## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

Not weird at all, my parents are 10 years apart and my mum was 26 when they met, and I know a 20 year old guy who's girlfriend is 32.


----------



## Elixir (Jun 19, 2012)

Whitney said:


> and older not younger...


Lol yeah. Some of the confusion in that post must have rubbed off on me.:wink


----------



## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

elvin jones said:


> Having a younger sister makes me feel more guarded by large age gaps. If a 30 year old tried to get with her, I'd probably murder him.


How old is your sister?


----------



## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Peter Attis said:


> I agree with this. A 30-year-old and a 20-year-old are at entirely different stages in their lives, and that 20-year-old probably hasn't experienced the world yet.


 If the 30 year old has bad SA then the 20 year old probably has much more life experience than the 30 year old.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

scarpia said:


> If the 30 year old has bad SA then the 20 year old probably has much more life experience than the 30 year old.


Could be true. And it also depends on what you mean by life experience. A 23 year old who has been on their own for a couple years could have more life experience than a 28 year old who has always lived at home. At least in terms of being independent.


----------



## babylemonade (Nov 24, 2011)

srschirm said:


> I am expecting an update within two days.


I've not seen her since Thursday. Don't know when I will see her next.


----------



## sleepytime (Feb 18, 2011)

Nothing wrong with it at all. I generally wouldn't go looking for someone that much younger than me. However, if I just happened to meet somebody 10 years younger than me, I wouldn't let it put me off. It's hard enough to meet someone you like without letting something minor like that get in the way of giving it a chance. Good luck with it.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

sleepytime said:


> However, if I just happened to meet somebody 10 years younger than me, I wouldn't let it put me off. It's hard enough to meet someone you like without letting something minor like that get in the way of giving it a chance.


That's exactly how I feel.


----------



## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

I also should add that it is not possible for a man to be too old for a woman.


----------



## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

^ I think that depends on the woman.


----------



## Bluueyyy (Jun 11, 2012)

I think it's borderline. You could but I think it would be better dating someone more closer to your age.

Of course, you can always just be friends with her and if anything special develops between you both then you can start a relationship.

But I don't know....30 on 20 just seems too much of an age difference for me.
Only if something special develops I would say. I mean, what's the point of dating a 20 y.o. when you might break up after a few months or a year or two.


----------



## Koolio (Feb 25, 2012)

scarpia said:


> I also should add that it is not possible for a man to be too old for a woman.


Um, what are you talking about? Yes, it is very possible...


----------



## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Koolio said:


> Um, what are you talking about? Yes, it is very possible...


Nawwwwwwwwwww!!! I'm the kind of guy who thinks the perfect age for women is 36 - meaning two 18 year olds.


----------



## Parcius (Jun 3, 2012)

Nah, go for it


----------



## Famous (Sep 6, 2011)

When I was 28, I had a fling with an 18 yo, she threw a teenage tantrum one day, stormed out, she was trying to call me immature as she ranted and raged


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Age differences are pretty lame when you think about it.

If two people are attracted to each other and they get along well then that's all that matters.

The main reason people are stuck on the age thing is they assume that two people are so different via maturity that it somehow is horrible--can you say "social conditioning?" When in reality, a woman, or man, of a certain age can be more/less mature than their partner regardless of age differences.

Repeat: "Social conditioning" 


Date who you find attractive regardless of age. Just make sure they are legal or you'll go to jail.

Anyone who thinks less of you because you're dating younger/older than what they think is reasonable can **** off. Critics about this type of thing are usually only concerned with numbers and what society tells them is "right". Go with your instincts.


----------



## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> Critics about this type of thing are usually only concerned with numbers and what society tells them is "right".


You make it sound like these people are worse than the "age is just a number" crowd, which generally is made up of barely legal women and men who've been legal for some time but who for some reason or other refuse to accept that they're just not on the same level as an 18- or even a 20-year-old. Which is usually because the 18-year-old is oh-so hot and that's all that matters.


----------



## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

Also some 18 year olds look like babies. Not all of them are hot.


----------



## babylemonade (Nov 24, 2011)

Well, I haven't seen her in over a week. Maybe life is trying to push me away from her?


----------



## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

No


----------



## Knowbody (Jul 5, 2011)

ur only too old if she thinks ur too old


or if shes not legal, obviously


----------



## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

so what if it was a 20 year old and a 10 year old?


----------



## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

^ Well that's obvious...one of them is a child and illegal.


----------



## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

Not too bad. It might be a bit awkward when she starts talking about Pokemon.
Don't be upset when she changes into a more assured of herself woman as she ages and moves on from you when she is around 28. People change a lot during this vital period in life.

Thou hath been warned.


----------



## jvanb00c (Apr 13, 2012)

She's of legal age. It's not a big deal. I think a 30 year old might be at a different place than a 20 year old as far as what they want in life but that is just generalizing, it's definitly not in every case.


----------



## MoonlightSky (Mar 24, 2012)

Sure it's definitely possible that she could like you. I know couples with a 10yr age difference, and they're very happy, so it doesn't matter at all.


----------



## babylemonade (Nov 24, 2011)

Thanks everyone. Sadly, I'm finding it very hard to even get an opportunity to talk to her. Nightmare! Maybe it isn't meant to be.

Then on top of that, a girl who I liked but who has a boyfriend said to me 'you complete me' over the weekend. Then went on to tell me she thought of me on holiday when she ate this brand of candy because she knows I like it.

Argh!


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

babylemonade said:


> Then on top of that, a girl who I liked but who has a boyfriend said to me 'you complete me' over the weekend. Then went on to tell me she thought of me on holiday when she ate this brand of candy because she knows I like it.
> 
> Argh!


How does this work? And she's still with the guy?


----------



## babylemonade (Nov 24, 2011)

srschirm said:


> How does this work? And she's still with the guy?


I have no idea how this works. Am I being incredibly naive or what?

She's still with him. Been together a few years.


----------



## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

babylemonade said:


> I have no idea how this works. Am I being incredibly naive or what?
> 
> She's still with him. Been together a few years.


taken = off limits


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Don't expect to get real answers to this question, OP.

Of course you aren't, but the majority are either A.) in their 20's, and feel embarrassed that a 30 year old can attract a 20 year old, when they can't, or B.) are in their 30's, and are embarrassed that they can't attract a 20 year old, like you.

You both are legally adults. If someone tells you that you're too old for her, you are giving in to social anxiety and caring what other people think about you. The only thing that matters is what you and the girl think about it. And since you aren't breaking any laws, screw the rest of 'em.


----------



## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

MobiusX said:


> so what if it was a 20 year old and a 10 year old?


Anything below 14 messes up the 1/2 + 7 formula. According to that formula 14 year olds can only be with other 14 year olds. But a 12 year old could be with a 13 year old. A two year old could date an eight year old! I wonder if a 14 year old invented that formula. 14 - the perfect age??


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

There is no formula, but there are a lot of idiots in the world.


----------



## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

WintersTale said:


> There is no formula, but there are a lot of idiots in the world.












What if you have yourself cryogenically frozen? Would you go by your real age or the time that you have been unfrozen? Say you are frozen at age 30 and thawed out 70 years later. Are you 100 or 30? If you are 100 you can only date 57 year olds. Yuk. BUT that is an age difference of 43 years!!!


----------

