# is it normal to want to stay home a lot ?



## Never-To-Be-Seen-Again (Aug 15, 2015)

?


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## JohnB (Oct 14, 2015)

No, however i do and a lot here prob do. I SA isnt so bad i cant leave. I actually just worked for 3 months out of the country. I stay at home a lot and when away i stayed at the hotel a lot.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

It's pretty normal for us I think.


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

I think it's normal regardless of the impairments someone has. We slow down as we age and aren't the busybody we were in our 20s...so I don't think anything of it and doubt others would either.


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## ronaldjshine (Jul 31, 2016)

with the internet, i have been gladly staying at home and entertaining myself since i was 15 or so. news, video, movies, games, reading e-books, wikipedia, blogs, reddit... there's a lot that can entertain you.

the issue is that you can't really find fulfillment in a computer. you need real interaction. and honestly, i usually have a slight bit of anxiety when friends invite me out and there'll be people i don't know, but usually it's a fun time and it feels great after and i remember why it's important to hang with people.

so, it's okay to want to stay at home, but don't let that feeling take away opportunities for social interaction and growth.


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## Michael1983 (Jul 21, 2015)

I stay home a lot but I start to feel myself going a bit mad when it's been for too long. I do like being outside, going for walks or riding my bike but i'm not particulary comfortable being around people for periods of time. I find it draining so I generally prefer my own company.


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## PasstheCarbs (Dec 24, 2014)

If you look back in human history prior to the industrial age and transportation becoming what it is today, people always stayed in close proximity to their home (or they took their homes with them). It's like we used to have this large area we considered home and as technology advanced, that circle shrunk into the little boxes we live in today. Since leaving your home costs money, doing things at home for low cost really took off. You can just watch Netflix all day if you wanted. Have anything shipped to your door. Lower cost alternatives to going out every day and spending money or making a small investment ($15 sub to Netflix, old video game consoles, etc) and saving because you're not leaving home everyday.

We're trained to feel bad about it. Staying home? How lame! Saving money? That's stupid and un-entertaining. When you are relaxing at home (the fruits of your labor working), you aren't being productive and are thus lazy and a loser. It's in the same vein as people bragging pridefully about working 90 hours a week so they can feel better than their peers that only worked 70 hours. It's this stupid nagging feeling that you are worthless if you don't leave your home to a. work or b. spend money. Yes, I'm connecting the subject to 'money' again. That's because you can with everything.

That's why it feels abnormal to stay home and normal to avoid being home as much as possible. Money. That's also why if it isn't 'normal' yet it will be. Staying home has been well monetized now. You can now spend tons of money and never leave your house. Amazon, Ebay, and so on and so on. You can even have groceries shipped to your door. As the cost of everything continues to rise, the necessity to stay home more will also rise. It's beneficial to keep people home. Not using up fossil fuels. Clogging up the roads. All the water saved do to people not showering 1+ times a day because they'll be around others. 

The big difference though between us and our ancestors is they belonged to a community most of the time. People today don't I think. I mean... this forum is the only thing in my life that gives a me a sense of community and belonging (other than my family I rarely see). And it's an internet web site filled with people from all over the world. Enormous distance between us. This is what 'community' has become. It's a little sad and a bit messed up, but pretty amazing at the same time.

I'm a homebody and I'll never feel ashamed about it. If you home is your castle than why should I hate my castle and feel uncomfortable spending time in it? Staying home has always felt normal to me. Mostly everyone else I know irl can't stand it and I get made fun of a lot for not leaving the home as much as they do.

/endramble


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

Yes, home is where the couch is.
Home is where there is (supposed to be) safe and sound.
Home sweet home.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

I usually want to escape to an environment that brings me the less stress. When I was living with my parents or crappy housemates, I cannot stand to be at home and would crave to be outside. Now that I am in an ok environment and ok housemates, I am more comfortable staying home more.


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## Hank Scorpio (Oct 28, 2008)

I find it bizarre that people buy and furnish houses and then want to be "out" all the time.


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## Hayman (Dec 27, 2014)

It isn't normal, no. However, it's more normal for anyone who has depression or anxiety issues. It's actually a common trait. I've read posts on here in the past (even before I joined and was just a 'lurker') of people who were spending literally several weeks at home&#8230; I really do feel sorry for them that their problems have got to that stage. I openly admit that I'm nowhere near as bad as that.

I enjoy being at home. It's my 'sanctuary'. After work I can simply close away most of my problems, be myself and limit the amount of insults and jokes said about me. If I'm ever alone, practically all my problems disappear and I usually enjoy my own company. A recluse lifestyle would probably suit me down to the ground but sadly I don't have the funds available to live like that. I have to force myself to work most days and face a barrage of negativity towards me just so I can earn an income .

Back at the start of June, my parents went away for a couple of days (I still live at home with them - I've got no other option available). I didn't leave the house for three days. All I done was to open the back door for the cat when he wanted to go out. Other than that, I was completely alone. It was bliss. After 24/36 hours I honestly felt about as good as I have been for several years. I'm not saying I wouldn't get lonely eventually or feel the need to go out (I know I would, eventually), but for a few days, maybe a week or so, having a 'Monk Mode' session worked wonders for me. Precisely the actions medical professionals and regular people tell us *NOT* to do are the very things that actually help me. :blank

Over the course of this year I'm actually getting out more. Not for myself as I know it doesn't work for me as it would for regular people who can expand their social circles very easily by merely turning up somewhere. I'm doing it to prove a point to several people who insist that getting out more will somehow aid me. I'm showing them exactly what I mean by being singled out when I put in effort and not being given the same chances or opportunities due to the stigmas people hold against me. Going out this year has simply increased by SA symptoms, people have noticed my temper has notably reduced in recent months, my mood is now more down than being 'normal' for me and I feel I'm borderline depressed again. This is exactly what happens to me each and every time I make a concerted and long-lasting effort to mix with people and try and make any sort of basic life progression. It simply doesn't happen for me - but materialises for everyone else. It's the bugbear of my life&#8230;

All of this is why I prefer staying in. Yet, try explaining the above to any regular person and you'll be looked at as if you've just dropped out of a dog's backside&#8230; before going on to blame you for everything, naturally&#8230; 



PasstheCarbs said:


> We're trained to feel bad about it. Staying home? How lame! Saving money? That's stupid and un-entertaining. When you are relaxing at home (the fruits of your labor working), you aren't being productive and are thus lazy and a loser.


:ditto

Oh yes... Very much so. This is 100% true. I feel almost criminalised for wanting to be at home and for wanting to be sensible towards my future and saving. Apparently, the only way to live is to have zero savings and to be out partying the moment you leave work in the evening. You aren't allowed to relax and you certainly aren't allowed to feel tired.

No thanks. It's not for me. It's not who I am. Sadly, people like us simply aren't accepted.

I actually discussed a similar topic on my wordpress blogsite a month ago in a blog titled 'Curse Of The Nightowls', that you might be interested in: https://haymansafc.wordpress.com/2016/07/02/curse-of-the-nightowls/


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## derpresion (May 17, 2012)

i dunno yea? but not rlly when theres pokemons out there


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## Glycerin (Jun 26, 2016)

What is normal anyway?
I wish I had an incessant supply of money and could just stay at home all day everyday until I die. All my future worries would go away. Because financial worries are the only ones I have.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

MissMadonna said:


> Because financial worries are the only ones I have.


Really? You don't care about people judging you? Feeling like you don't fit in?


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## Glycerin (Jun 26, 2016)

Kevin001 said:


> Really? You don't care about people judging you? Feeling like you don't fit in?


If I had enough money then I wouldn't have to go outside anymore so I wouldn't get judged.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

MissMadonna said:


> If I had enough money then I wouldn't have to go outside anymore so I wouldn't get judged.


Wouldn't people call you antisocial or something? Weird lady that never comes out her house? Idk....I hope you get what you want.


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

Kevin001 said:


> MissMadonna said:
> 
> 
> > If I had enough money then I wouldn't have to go outside anymore so I wouldn't get judged.
> ...


How would she know if she doesn't go outside ;p


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## MrObscura (Aug 4, 2016)

For all intents and purposes I haven't left the house in over a decade, besides running to the store or the library occasionally. I'm probably not "normal."

And I'm just trying to help when I say this... to the people feeling as if they are constantly judged, people aren't thinking about you nearly as much as you think they are. And in the instances where they are actually judging you, **** them.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

MissMadonna said:


> What is normal anyway?


Whatever it is, it's not this.

Avoidance is insidious...

Ugggggh I just ignored -- flat-out ignored -- a text invite out today by someone I recently met, someone I like... Why... For no other reason than "I'd just prefer to stay home..."

It's so twisted, and I have no idea how to break it. All the professionals just say "you have to push yourself and keep doing it," and that's what I've been doing to get to group therapy sessions for the past month, but man, it takes _everything_ I have _every time_ just to get to _those_, and it leaves me with _NO energy for ANYTHING else_ -- and it's the same every time I have to walk out my front door and be among people, whatever the situation may be.

I don't want to just _endure_. I want to _experience_ and _enjoy_, and it feels like I'm incapable of that.


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## MrObscura (Aug 4, 2016)

See, the issue seems to be that you don't really prefer to stay home. Whereas for some of us we truly do.

That's what it really come down to OP. The hell with "normal" to you regret staying home? Do you feel like you are missing out? If so then it's "wrong" for you, because you are not living a life you want to live. If the answer is no than wanting to stay home, in and of itself, is not an issue.


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## MrObscura (Aug 4, 2016)

Oh, man. The not being able to edit and correct typos until 100 posts sucks. lol


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## Never-To-Be-Seen-Again (Aug 15, 2015)

> =See, the issue seems to be that you don't really prefer to stay home. Whereas for some of us we truly do.
> 
> That's what it really come down to OP. The hell with "normal" to you regret staying home? Do you feel like you are missing out? If so then it's "wrong" for you, because you are not living a life you want to live. If the answer is no than wanting to stay home, in and of itself, is not an issue.


yes thats true


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## MusicDays8 (Apr 25, 2016)

I am not sure if it is normal or not but it is normal for me. I do stay home a lot because it is more comfortable for me to be at home. I feel safer at home than when I go out. Going out just doesn't sound appealing to me at all. I just go on the internet and play video games and watch TV. People have invited me to go places but I don't go because I just don't want to. I actually used to go out once in a while to see a few friends but now everybody is just too busy now.


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## bbrownleather (Jun 7, 2015)

it is for me +_+


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## fonz (Oct 15, 2008)

It's OK.but just make sure you spend a bit of time (30 mins+) outside every day getting a bit of daylight exposure,even if it's just sitting outside your house having a cup of coffee or reading...


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## the username is taken (Aug 27, 2016)

95% of the time im at home, my only friends are over the internet anyways.


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## Makenzie83 (Aug 23, 2016)

derpresion said:


> i dunno yea? but not rlly when theres pokemons out there


 This literally made me laugh out loud. Gotta catch 'em all!


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## Makenzie83 (Aug 23, 2016)

I think it all depends on the person. I've had friends without mental health issues who simply enjoyed staying home more than going out, so that is what they did. I personally prefer staying home because I am uncomfortable being out in public for the most part. I probably spend 95% of my time at home, if not more depending on the month and if I have my kids or not.


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## soulstorm (Jan 5, 2012)

I prefer staying home also. In fact I love being in solitude. Kinda scary on one hand, but given all the entertainment options (books, movies, tv, internet, video games) staying home has never been so much fun. Going out can be ok with the right people though.


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## MrObscura (Aug 4, 2016)

I rarely leave the house, and to be honest I don't desire to most of the time. I wish I could support myself and continue to live in a reclusive manner, only venturing out when I was up to it.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

I think it's fairly normal to want to, at least.


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## Cepp (Feb 8, 2010)

It depends why you want to stay home a lot. If it's because of your SA then no it's not.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

Maybe you're a homebody. Nothing wrong with that, unless you stay home out of fear or depression.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Question - Is it normal to want to stay home a lot?

My answer -










That's quite a substantial investment for a place to sleep.


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## CasualUsage (Aug 30, 2015)

Even when I go out, I try to avoid crowds. 

~It eels what it eels.~


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## sqwaaaz (Sep 13, 2010)

Being outside is great but there is not much to do there except being there and walking around. Unless ofcourse you engage with the people that are also out there, but that's not really my style.


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## Dreaming1111 (Aug 31, 2016)

Never been normal and can't pretend to know what that is. That being said, as a shy/introvert my home is my refuge. Take me out of my refuge too long and I start to become unglued. So if wanting to be home because it makes me feel better is normal for someone like me than I will accept that as my normal.


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