# Did my boss cross a line?



## lifestandsstillhere (Jul 17, 2013)

So, about a month ago, I was offered what seemed to be the perfect job: a creative position in the field that I went to school for. The offer came unexpectedly, but it felt like my dream job, so I didn't hesitate to accept the position. Upon starting the job, I quickly came to realize that my boss had completely fabricated the job description. It was a typical office job, and although the position was good experience-wise, it definitely did not pay enough for what it was, and it absolutely was not a creative position in any way, shape, or form. This threw up a few red flags for me, but I decided to power on, in hopes that I would eventually get to use my creative talents in the position.

After a few weeks, it became apparent that my boss did not trust me to do _anything _on my own. He made me run anything and everything (and I mean _everything_) by him before I could do it. This included posting anything to any of the company social media sites (which I was in charge of) and responding to emails. No matter what I submitted to him, he never failed to pick out _something _ that he wanted me to change, even if nothing was incorrect to begin with. Most of these changes were completely insignificant and did not change the meaning of what was being said whatsoever.

Sometimes (typically towards the end of the week), he would berate me for "mistakes" I made, even when I didn't make any (I've had coworkers proofread my original drafts just to verify this, because I honestly started to doubt myself after a certain point). Again, his corrections were almost always nit-picky, and occasionally were sprinkled with grammatical and spelling errors of his own.

Another thing: he would not let me disagree with him, even on trivial matters. One time, I made the mistake of agreeing with a coworker (though I was her superior) who merely suggested that we alter his plan for the layout of an advertisement we were putting out. Afterwards, he called me into a disciplinary meeting to inform me that I should not have supported her idea, and proceeded to spend the next half-hour lecturing me about it.

As if excessive micromanaging wasn't enough, he began to make me feel extremely uncomfortable in the workplace. One morning, he told me that I looked nice, so I smiled and thanked him. He went on to explain, in detail, exactly what he liked about my physical appearance. This went on for roughly 10-15 minutes (he's a rambler, so it wasn't completely uncommon for him to take this long to get his point across).

These sorts of compliments became the norm for me. It got to the point where I no longer smiled or thanked him for his compliments and instead tried to redirect the conversation (without success).

On top of this, he sometimes made me go on midday errands (trips to the store or bank) with him, even though I _never_ contributed anything by being there. He also made me go on the occasional business lunch (just the two of us), even though we never had anything of importance to discuss. He did occasionally take other workers out to lunch for evaluations and such, but the place he took me was a nice sit-down establishment, whereas he took the others to a popular fast food chain.

I should add that he also patted or rubbed my back whenever I did something well. One time, he "accidentally" grazed his hand against my butt when he rubbed my back. He apologized as soon as it happened.

I finally quit the job the other day. It was a very small office position, so I didn't have the option of reporting him to HR or anything like that, and he's the head of the company, so it's not like I could report him to his superior.

Sorry for making this so long. I don't expect anyone to actually read the entire thing, but gahhh I still feel so unsettled about all of this. My anxiety is causing me to second guess myself and my decision. What do you think? Did he cross a line or am I just over-analyzing everything?

Thanks for letting me vent, SAS.


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## Jammer25 (Feb 22, 2014)

Sounds like the beginnings of sexual harassment if you ask me. Did you get the feeling your boss was attracted to you?


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

I'm sorry you were so poorly treated. I don't think even a sole proprietor is immune from lawsuits over sexual harassment. Check out this link. http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/liability-concerns-sole-proprietors.html


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## lifestandsstillhere (Jul 17, 2013)

Jammer25 said:


> Sounds like the beginnings of sexual harassment if you ask me. Did you get the feeling your boss was attracted to you?


I'm fairly certain. He told me that facial symmetry is the ultimate measure of beauty, then went on to say that my face is perfectly symmetrical and said that he would know, since he has the photographer's eye. He said that he likes it best when I wear my hair up, because it shows off my perfect face. He has also called me beautiful and attractive on other occasions.


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## lifestandsstillhere (Jul 17, 2013)

KyleInSTL said:


> I'm sorry you were so poorly treated. I don't think even a sole proprietor is immune from lawsuits over sexual harassment. Check out this link. http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/liability-concerns-sole-proprietors.html


Thank you so much. I'll look into it, but I'm not sure that I would be able to pursue something like this with my current state of anxiety. Even the thought of being in a courtroom makes me sweat.


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