# WHAT IS WITH EVERY MAN IN THE WORLD



## socialbutterfly (Feb 17, 2006)

OMG. I don't even know where to start. I wish I could explain my entire knowledge of men and why I think like I do. Basically every single guy is out to just have sex. I'm not even kidding. I'm sure there are some decent guys out there but I haven't met any.

First off, here is some background info. I am 17. I have an older brother whose 21 so I guess it's unfair for me to start blaming every guy in the world because my brother's mr.popularity and all his friends are pervs. I don't know what is with older guys hitting on extremely young girls. Even when I was 14 and 15, 22 year olds would be hitting on me and my friends. My best friend lost her virginity drunk when she was 13 to some pedifile and that's just so not right.

I know some people might think it's weird that I post here because it does appear that I have a social life. I used to have tons of friends and all that jazz. But just because one appears to have a busy and social life doesn't mean the social anxiety isnt there. I mean, I go to school, go to work, always keeping busy, I talk to people. But I still know it's there. So I just want to say that before I continue on (sorry if this is long, I need to vent right now)

In the past I have made many mistakes. When I had just turned 15 is when I hit the drugs and alcohol and party scene pretty bad. Before that I had had a social life, but it was more reserved and I hung out with the "preps" I guess (you know how all those stupid labels and categories go in highschool). Anyway for two and a half years it continued like this and I went with a lot of guys, I was..young and naive. I guess when I turned 15 is when I really grew into my looks, after a childhood of being ugly.

Anyway, maybe the reason I have only met guys interested in one thing is because its always just been guys I've met in the "party scene". Anyway I have pages and pages of stories of scummy guys... but Ill just talk about my main bad experiences.

I mean... okay Ill get to tonight. This guy who I met through my brother (he's 23) called me tonight for the first time in ages. The last time I saw this guy was like a year ago. In my opinion I think he's an alcholic. He has done so many stupid things drunk. He has a bad reputation for being too aggressive with girls and I even heard once he raped someone. But anyway I met him through my brother and he is really funny and outgoing and personable. But then in an instant he'll change and start touching you and all this crap. Its hard to explain, I dont want to make this too long. So anyway I used to hang out with him but I stopped because I didnt like how aggressive he was. I have this issue with not having any respect for myself. In a way I liked the attention but then I realized that wasn't healthy at all.

So I talked to him tonight and hes like "oh yeah, so what are you doing? want to hang out and catch up" so im like sure why not. Oh before I continue, Ill add that as soon as I got off work tonight, this guy who I hardly ever talk to who goes to my school called and hes like "hey whatsup blah blah" then im like nothing, and hes like "wanna come over and hang out" then im like "well whose there?" because i figured he was having people over, and hes like "oh just me. just me and you can hang out" so right there i knew something sounded fishy. i told him i didnt want 2 come out. (It was weird this guy called me since I hardly ever talk to him anymore)

so anyway back to the other guy. I went to his house to pick him up and we were talking and driving around, and then he put his hand on my leg, and hes like "so want to go park somewhere and have fun?" and im like "wtf? dont touch me" (FYI: this guy has serious issues. he thinks the way he treats girls is fine and he thinks sex is just as casual as shaking someones hand). and hes like "oh its like that??? but remember that one time we kissed. it was fun" and im like "two years ago when I was 15 and you compltely took advantage of me when I was falling down drunk" then hes like "okay i wont touch you" then 2 minutes later he did it again! and im like "what r u doing? I thought we were going to hang out" and hes like "dont you want to have a little fun" and hes like "wow your so much hotter than you used to be. i dont remember you being so good looking" so i said "well thanks but seriously stop being a creep" and hes like "cant I even compliment you? god, you used to be fun" <--- (He always used to say this to me when we hung out last year when I refused to do something he wanted to do)
and hes like "do you hate me?" .... He tried to lay this huge guilt trip on me like he always does. Anyway for the next 20 minutes he continued to do this and the whole time I told him I was dropping him off. finally hes like "lets just go to my house and ****" and im like "what is wrong with you?" and hes like "i thought you wanted to hang out and have fun" and im like "well I did but Im not having sex. Is that the only reason you called me out here?" and hes like "no, your a great girl... lets just park somewhere and turn the lights off".

Anyway... I dropped him off. And the whole time the conversation was basically like I typed it above. He would be like "fine I wont bother you, let's just chill" then two minutes later he would go back to saying something so disrespectful. I was so dumbfounded. But this has happened to me so many times before with so many different guys. Im not even kidding when I say ive lost count. Most of them have been older too. One minute Ill think a guys alright and then we'll be in the middle of a conversation and he'll reach in for a kiss or say some perverted comment that just throws me off.

The idea of sex isn't even in my head until the guy Ill be with says something. I seriously think its all that most men think about. Anyway, back to my story... So while I was driving around with this guy, the guy who called me after work kept texting me telling me that hell give me a bottle of whiskey if I come hang out with him. I was like are you trying to bribe me? what the hell. So then the first guy got out of my car, and Im like "whatever, im going to go hang out with someone else, someone who has respect", then I get a text from the guy who was texting me and hes like "come over. Ill make it worth your while" and im like "what do you mean" and hes like "Well what do you wanna do? Itll be just me and you" then im like "..." and hes like "haha I can think of something we can do " then I didnt text him back "and he was like I was just kidding" then i stopped answering his texts and hes like "so lets chill tomorrow. we can have a sleepover". I didnt text him back. he is still texting me as I type this out asking me to come out even though I said to leave me alone.

It just makes me so mad. I feel like every guy just looks at me and sees the word "easy ****" written across my forehead". This seems to happen with every guy I meet. There is this other guy whose 22, who is in a longterm relationship. We used to party together. He calls me every weekend basically at 2 or 3 in the morning asking me to come out and chill with just him, saying he knows something fun we can do.

Last weekend he called me three times, and I kept hanging up on him. on the last time hes like "I just want to **** you, SO BAD" and I told him to stop calling me because I dont need to put up with that. then I hung up.

^--his best friend (the best friend of the guy who calls me at 3 in the morning all the time) always talks to me on msn and texts me. My status will be like "in the shower" or something, and he'll be like "in the shower? can I jump in too?". I remember one time I was at <--- that guys house and when I was asleep he started rubbing me and I woke up and I left because it was really creepy.

And my brother's other two lowlife friends, one is 24 and the other is 22. The one who is 22 called me about a month ago and hes like "lets hang out, yada yada, havent seen u in forever" basically it ended the same way tonight ended. He got me in his car and hes like "so wanna make out?"

I just dont understand. Who just comes out and says that?? even when I tell these guys no, they still continue to harrass me. Its far past the point of "liking the attention".

my brothers friend, the one who is 24, his name is dave. When I first started hanging out with him, he gave me the big infamous speech "oh your marks little sister (mark is my brother) Im just looking out for you and I dont want anything to happen to you" . Hes like "I would never hit on you because of the age difference". Then, not even two hours later, He kept trying to kiss me saying he couldnt resist and how I make it so hard for him to sit still.

Honestly, where do people come up with these things. OH and I forgot my brothers friend Jon. One time I was at this house with him and some other people, and this creepy andy guy kept winking at me so I asked Jon to go for a walk with me, and we were just talking and joking, and then he whipped out his dick. not even kidding. and im like "OMG, no?! what are you thinking" and hes like "oh sorry, thought id give it a shot".

Back in august, this other guy kevin called me out of the blue to "catch up on old times" once again, i met him through my brother. we were at his house watching a movie (by the way he lied and said he was having people over, when i got there, no one was there). Then hes like "so do you wanna have sex now?" and im like what the hell are u talking about and he goes "c'mooon. not even oral?". Obviously I left right after.

Wow this is extremely long. Anyway I have no faith in man kind. I think Im beginning to realize that I must be bringing on some of this negative attention I get from men. It makes me so frustrated. On the way home tonight from dropping that guy off I just wanted to cry. I feel like an object. I get along with most of these guys. Ill think were having a really great time, but then its a big slap in the face for me, kind of like "oh yeah, were having a great conversation and a great time, but Im only faking this so we can get to the sex part".

I know tonight, the guy I was with, we kept laughing and having good convo, then hed be like "so, lets have sex". Like he wanted to get the obligated work of talking and personalizing with me just so he could have sex.

I know not every guy is like this but honestly I have never met a "normal" guy. Women and men are so different. I have never seen a woman act like this. I just feel like swearing off men for a long time. Every time I get close to one they just go and pull stuff like this. I have had so many men "lust after me" (sorry, cant find the right word), but Ive never had a boyfriend. I dont know what is with this. Guys look at me and see one thing. I know when I used to party, everyone looked at me as this huge party girl. But that was over a year ago.

All these guys tell me Im so good looking, and Im so this, and Im so fun, blah blah. But its all sweet talk. Am I the only girl experiencing this?
Sorry if there are many spelling mistakes in this, it's really late and Im really mad. I hope this didnt come off conceited, like every guy I meet just sees how "incredibly hot I am" hah. it's really not like that at all.

I know I should probably learn from my lessons and stop going out and hanging out with these guys. But it really does catch me off guard. Its like one minte a guy is human, and then just a sex machine. Like well have a really good conversation, and be laughing it up, then they pull some stupid move. I guess this is better than having no guys after you. I don't even know. I feel so crappy. These guys dont even want to hang out with me unless I do stuff with them, which I don't. I would type more but Im sleepy and Im going to bed.

It makes me feel better to at least get this out in words so maybe somewhere out there in internetland someone can feel my pain.


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

Come on; not all guys are like that.

Some of us have social anxiety and don't get the chance to be. :lol


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## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

I wish I was an object.


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## Were (Oct 16, 2006)

i think you are just showing off how you are hot and hangin out with people and how everybody wanna have sex with you...


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

socialbutterfly said:


> My best friend lost her virginity drunk when she was 13 to some pedifile and that's just so not right.


I should point out that getting drunk at 13 is questionable behavior as well and most would not recommend it.


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## person86 (Aug 10, 2006)

I have a sneaking suspicion that you're going to get very little sympathy here.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

The A-Holes outnumber the good guys so you're more likely to run into the idiots you described. If you find out they're only after one thing, move on. It's simple enough. I guess I just don't really see the point of the topic besides "OMG! Guys are hitting on me!" That's what they do best, especially if you're attractive.


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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

> It just makes me so mad. I feel like every guy just looks at me and sees the word "easy ****" written across my forehead".


I used to sort of feel the same but for different reasons. Anyway, you seem to be hanging around the wrong type of guys. I mean most of them seem to be friends of your brother, and if you already know that they are pervs then I don't understand why you're so surprised by their behavior.


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## Matt J (Oct 19, 2006)

Njodis said:


> Come on; not all guys are like that.
> 
> Some of us have social anxiety and don't get the chance to be. :lol


 :lol

Seriously, not all guys are only after sex..thats just an outright falsehood.


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## Flu102 (Jul 11, 2005)

You seem to have figured it out for yourself somewhat already, but here is a clue, if you don't want smutty things to happen to you, don't hang out with smutty people. You know this man is an aggressive pervert who may have raped someone....so you go off with him alone in a car....and you expect what to happen? To have a mature respectful discussion about world politics?? 

There are PLENTY of nice men in the world, but you aren't going to find them looking in cesspools.


Sorry if I sound harsh but...come on...use some common sense.


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## socialbutterfly (Feb 17, 2006)

so true. I was expecting these answers. It seems like really I am completely full of myself when in reality I have the lowest self confidence in the world. It's bewildering to me.

To whoever said I just want to talk about my "hotness"... yep you're right... figured me out. you're so smart. your smartness medal is on the way... and when you receive your medal, I will try to hold some sort of ceremony to celebrate your smartness. I mean, how could I not? I've never had someone figure me out SO well. Maybe I should make you a cake too? Sounds good? Of course it does. You like cake, so do I. Chocolate or vanilla? Who am I kidding... chocolate. Only smart people eat chocolate. I'm sure you already now about this smartness party, as you are so smart that you have already predicted that my planning of this party. what a shame. it won't be a surprise. Well anyway, see you at the smartness party


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## Christian (Oct 5, 2006)

Just curious... A lot of these guys are your brother's friend? Why don't you tell him to keep those dipsh*ts away from you, or make it your goal to keep them away yourself, whether they appear nice or not...

It seems like you have self-esteem issues, not so much social anxiety (but you can get help here too). 

17? So young! Do not hang around anyone over 18. The reason is that these older guys think they can score on you easily because you are impressed by their age and whatever else.

I know for a fact that there are a lot of guys not looking for sex. And no matter how much it seems true, I know that not all women like to **** with a guy's heart and then smashed it to pieces like it really is just an object.


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## Kelly (Dec 12, 2003)

Socialbutterfly, I went through a phase when I thought all men were pigs, although I never had them come on to me as strongly as they do to you.

You need to meet a new group of guy and get away from these scumbags.

What I would do, if I were in your situation, would be to change my phone number and IM name. Only give the new ones out to people you trust to not take advantage of you. It seems like you already have a good sampling of how guys who are only looking for one thing behave. Don't give your info out to these guys. If you meet a new guy and he asks for your number, ask for his and tell him you'll call him instead. Be very careful.

Maybe you had some other problems a few years ago that caused you to act in the way these guys now expect you to act all the time. But you're growing up and learning about yourself and you *do* have the right to demand better and to wait for better, so don't give in just because some guy calls you and you're not doing anything. Maybe it's better to stay at home and not go out.

And what's up with your brother exposing you to these guys? It seems to me that an older brother (and I only have a younger one, so I don't know from experience) should be protective of his little sister and keep his scummy friends away from her. He knows what they're like.

And I wouldn't give a second thought to the unsympathetic ones on this board. They need a good reality check.

Have a nice day,
Kelly


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Don't blame it on guys blame it on society! Few people wish to fight against the constant push of sex, sex, sex. Sex releases the same chemicals that illict drugs do out of the brain (not in the same quantity but regardless it does), so much like other drugs we can become addicted to it. I believe our society is becoming addicted to it. This includes women. I'm starting to get worried. Everyday I'm a little more repulsed by the way women are dressing. It's getting to the point where what's the point in a t-shirt? Your whole package is practically viewable. I wish women would put themselves in our shoes every so often. Imagine a guy in good shape with a short sleeveless shirt where his abs are showing. He's wearing super short shorts. Or perhaps guys should start showing some of their package down below for all to see.

I'm not saying that you dress this way and that's why you have these guys pushing for sex. I'm simply saying everything in society is beginning to revolve around sex; commercials, magazines, television, clothing etc. Save sex for the bedroom why must we see it everywhere all the time?

Something else I don't get is the women's movement happens and women gain rights instead of taking advantage of this and trying to change men and society for the better they lower their own standards to that of men. So through freedom we've gained women that go right along with and encourage the continuous push towards a society that revolves around sex and seeing women as sexual objects. It's so frustrating I feel like making a bumper sticker that says where are all the conservatively dressed women? Or dressing conservatively can be beautiful too.

Mods don't lock the thread. Just giving my point of view. All that I have said could be a huge generalization and is based hugely on my own experience in my own area which makes up a fraction of the geographic area of America. *If you feel my post is out of line feel free to delete it and allow the thread to continue forward for others to discuss amongst each other. *


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## Anti-Charisma (Nov 17, 2004)

I'll just try to elaborate on what some have said already.

A lot of guys think about sex a lot. That's no newsflash. But the behavior you describe of your brother's friends seems pretty extreme to me and just won't happen with most guys (even those who think about sex a lot).

If you want your experiences to change you really have two options:

1.) Stop hanging out with your brother's friends: Unfortunately, he seems to attract jerks. While that may be profitable in the business world, it doesn't really do a lot for a person with SA trying to make friends (or find a boyfriend for that matter). Who you hang out with is entirely up to you.

You say this one guy has a bad reputation with girls and you heard he raped someone, yet you have no problems getting into a car with him. He grabs you, then says he'll be good, and you continue your drive. He grabs you again. Come on now, are you functionally retarded? Kick this guy's *** out of the car and drive away.

The other situations are similarly perplexing (I won't even comment on the penis-walk). You have the option to stop these things before they escalate. If some guy is making inappropriate advances toward you just remove them from your life. Don't try to be friends or buddies, just get rid of them. They're trash.

2.) Change the way you act/dress: This sort of relates to the above, but in a more general context. I'm going to assume you're relatively good-looking or else these jerks wouldn't be all over you so much. Are you doing anything to contribute to the problem? 

These guys treat you like a ****. Do you dress like a ****? Do you act like a ****? Not that it would justify it, but if the way you are treated bothers you that much you DO have the power to change what may be contributing to it.


Bottom line, all guys are not jerks. It's just that for some reason you feel the need to hang out with scumbags who repeatedly try to take advantage of you. Whose fault is that? The problem can be avoided entirely.


I'll leave my views for why all women are terrible for a future post.


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## Optimistic (Nov 4, 2006)

It really sounds like you've been hanging around the wrong types of guys. First of all, I'm not sure why you're not trying to hang around men your own age. A good-looking teen with a reputation as a fun party-goer (even if that's changed from a year ago)--that just spells out sex without committment for the older guys. These older guys that you describe, though, seem to be atypical, very much out-of-control types. And, yes, they're very disrespectful to you.

Guys around that age, and some at other ages, probably think about sex every 5 to 15 minutes. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, but it does become a big problem if they use deception or force to try to get "what they want." Of course, women around that age aren't exactly asexual or antisexual, but I'd bet a good number of them lost their virginity against their wishes or with the idea, mistaken or not, that it was either "put out" or risk losing their bf. Certainly if avoiding sex is a big issue for a girl, she can walk out on a guy, provided no force is involved.

Socialbutterfly, you sound like an intelligent gal. You deserve better. You may want to consider avoiding the partiers, especially the older ones, and look in other places for a guy who can show respect to you and appreciate you for more than your obvious sex appeal.


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## Geronimo (Aug 23, 2006)

I'm so sorry, I'm usually trying to be suportive. But this post is just not going to be.

You seem to be extremely naive. After SO MANY bad experiences with elder brother's friends - you still hang out with them? If a donkey goes onto ice only once, then this whole thing makes you a penguine! If guys of that age hit on a girl of your age simply just to "hang out" - then they want to get into your panties. Period.

First of all - remember that acting like an easy-girl gets you treated like one. So reconsider few things, like your clothing or attitude. Sometimes being overfriendly just doesn't help your case.

Second - try to hang out more with people of your age. Especially try to hang out more with female friends.

Strive for long term relationship. It includes meeting someone you like, getting to know someone you like, getting to know him even more... and liking him even more. It's no rocket science, just be carefull out there.

And once again - ffs, stop hanging out with those sex-driven old loosers.


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## Nihlanth (Sep 1, 2004)

It seems to me that the awkward consequences of enjoying unlimited attention from the wrong sources don't phase you away from those sources? 

Figure out what you value more: 

1. Dignity, respect, and honor for yourself. 
2. Or the temporary boost in self-esteem that attention-seeking gets you?


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## Carbon Breather (Mar 13, 2005)

You hang out with people you know are assholes and then you complain that they are. I mean seriously WTF!! 

I don't know anyone that treat girls like that. Isolation is not usually good but in your case i think you should stop seeing people until you realise what kind of people you really want to hang out with.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

Your problem is all the guys you talk about are all party trash players. What did you expect from them?


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

Noca said:


> Your problem is all the guys you talk about are all party trash players. What did you expect from them?


 :yes


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

Any particular reason you think guys should look at you more then a sexual object? Too many times i've seen women complain men are only interested in sex when they themselves have little else to offer in the first place.

Ho, and let's not forget who actually started that whole 'sexual revolution' thing. Joke's on you... :b


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## socialbutterfly (Feb 17, 2006)

Hey. What anti-christiniasm (sorry I think I got the wrong name), that really made sense and I think I'll seriously consider this.

It's funny, I complain about this and I always complain to my friends too. I know secretly I must like the attention because I keep winding up in these situations. I think it's the fact that secretly I feel I can use what men want as a way to feel good about myself. My friends experience most of the stuff I do, to the same extent, I'm not sure. We always joke and laugh about it. It's almost become a game.

As for the guy who I heard raped someone, I know, that was completely my fault. He seemed so different when I was talking to him and he seemed sincere. Last year when people asked him about the rape rumour he said it was just a load of crap, and so did his friends. But obviously he and his friends would lie about it. I think I make myself believe what I want.

I can't stand up for myself. I know I should have been offended by the things he was doing but secretly I'm flattered, which is total crap. 

After I finished making this post on saturday night, another guy called me up and asked me to come out. I went out with him and some other friends. And I knew the whole time he only wanted one thing but I didn't do anything, I just avoided him for the night. Then last night my other guy friend (a some what acquaintance) called me and asked if him and five other guys could come over... some of them being guys I have had bad experiences with in the past (they come on too strong). I said no. Today that guy texted me and was like hey whatsup... we were just talking and then hes like "are you alone" and im like "yeah... except my brothers downstairs" then hes like "so I was just seeing if you wanted to have some morning sex" so I freaked out on him and hes like "oh sorry"...

clearly these things do not happen to every girl. I need to be more firm when I tell guys no, instead of so wishy washy. Like I said, its way past the point of just being flattered by it. It's really starting to get to me now. But part of me feels like if all this negative attention ends, Im going to start feeling ugly or unliked.

bah I dont know. I need to do some serious thinking.


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## AdamCanada (Dec 6, 2003)

*t*

you should tell your brother about his freinds doing these things. If were him, I would not be happy.


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## suncowiam (Nov 1, 2006)

It sounds like you want attention but not attention from scumbags. Or maybe you want to be flattered by others thinking you're attractive? And is that the reason why you're hanging with these guys? I'm not flaming... Every one of us wants attention. We want to be on top of that hill of attractiveness also. 

There's also this little thing I've seen concerning attraction from females. They tend to like the bad boys. Would you say you're one of them? Do you want to somehow convert a bad boy to a nice boy? Are you attracted to nice boys? They would give you attention too, just not with the same aggressiveness.

Sorry for the 20 personal questions... It's just after reading your post, I still don't really understand what you want.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

I don't know about your brother. It's a good thing you're not my sister because I probably would have beat these guys senseless for trying to get you in bed. His friends don't respect him or you, or your brother is no different than them in which case he sees nothing wrong with it. If I were you I'd be careful around these guys and I'd avoid them. They may force you into something. With the way they're talking they may try to slip something in your drink. I probably missed this stuff but does it happen at your house? And if so where is your dad? 

Also by your future posts unless you are being sarcastic you are reminding me of those underage girls that dress in promiscuous clothing just to see the reaction they get from older men. 

If your dress is promiscuous I suggest you show respect for yourself by changing your attire and in turn you will be commanding respect from others rather than commanding disrespect from others, devaluing you to nothing more than a sex object.


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## Message (Sep 20, 2006)

socialbutterfly said:


> OMG. I don't even know where to start. I wish I could explain my entire knowledge of men and why I think like I do. Basically every single guy is out to just have sex. I'm not even kidding. I'm sure there are some decent guys out there but I haven't met any.


Hah. Totally.

This is why I'm single. I trust no guy until they prove themselves.


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

*Re: t*



AdamCanada said:


> you should tell your brother about his friends doing these things. If were him, I would not be happy.


That's what I don't understand either. It does say something about your brother that he is friends with these creeps though.

There is supposed to be one of those unwritten rules that you never hit on the sister of your friends. If things don't work out, and they hardly do, things will get messy.


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## kev (Jan 28, 2005)

Hmm, it just seems like you're hanging out with the wrong types. Guys around your age are certainly going to have sex on their minds, but that doesn't mean they have to treat you like nothing more than a sex object. My advice... if a guy seems sweet and charming to you, you should avoid him like the plague. :lol Unless he's shy of course... then he's probably being genuine.


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## Szattam (Nov 11, 2003)

Wow.

Seriously... wow... 

I know many guys, and I don't know any stupid or ******* enough to say things like that to a girl. Especially to a teen. Yes people have sex drives, but what you described is just ridiculous. It's hard to imagine that ALL those guys are THAT dumb, blind and stubbornly persistent. It's almost like a bad joke on their part to deliberately keep offending and playing with your head, knowing that you'll still allow them to call you afterwards. Based on what I read you keep letting them back to try some more. If someone is a dick to you, you don't answer their messages, you banish them from your life, block their calls, messages everything. If you're gonna hang out with potential rapists, you might even want to pick up some pepperspray. Bottom line, as has been said, and as you already know, STOP meeting guys through your brother's group of friends!! You say you like the attention, fair enough, go meet guys at bookstores, coffee shops or whatever, anything, just change the scenery, I guarantee they will also find you sexually attractive, but they may just have OTHER things on their mind as well. You admit to knowing better. You know what you have to do. Don't go around blaming all of mankind, you KNOW that not all guys are like that, you're just frustrated from your experiences I understand that. If you choose to, you can close this door and open a new one to a whole new world of better experiences... Good luck lady...


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## busstop (May 28, 2006)

Lyric Suite said:


> Any particular reason you think guys should look at you more then a sexual object? Too many times i've seen women complain men are only interested in sex when they themselves have little else to offer in the first place.
> 
> Ho, and let's not forget who actually started that whole 'sexual revolution' thing. Joke's on you... :b


ohhhk........I didn't know socialbutterfly started the revolution all by herself!!

why do i sense a pinch of bitterness


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## orpheus (Nov 16, 2003)

eh, you heard a guy was aggressive, an alcoholic, and raped someone, yet you hung out with him anyway? Is that the bad-boy effect women are so drawn to?

No offense, but I've seen your type before--the girl who wants attention but not that kind of attention.


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## better days (May 3, 2006)

its true, every guy wants sex. i dont know any guys who have had sex and been like "that was horrible, im never doing that again". its just that some guys only want sex from women. that would be the kind of guys you describe. i dont know how you can bash all men when you only hang out with one type. your post should have been "what is it with every alcoholic college party guy". seriously you complain about all these guys wanting you for sex, and yet you continue to hang out with them. try meeting someone new. 

i know you said you were a party girl before, so maybe you used to be easy (im not implying that you were and sorry if thats a little harsh). but if you were easy before, then these guys are gonna still see you as easy. maybe you werent, but you must have gotten a bad reputation because no guys talk to girls like that unless they think that it will work on that girl. and if you keep hanging out with these guys its not going to stop. 

it sounds like you are somewhat easily manipulated too. if a guy who supposedly raped someone can convince you that he is sincere, then that can be a problem. i think you need to change your image and who you hang out with. the worse thing is, you complain about these guys and how they dont treat you right and then you go and say that you like the attention and you see it as sort of a game. your not gonna find a nice guy by acting the way you are. you have to go meet someone new and when you guys hang out just talk. dont kiss or have sex or anything. guys dont respect women that are easy (once again, not implying that you are) so you have to make it a challenge. you want a deeper relationship so try hanging out with somebody and just talking.


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## Your Lover Scrub Ducky (Jul 26, 2004)

better days said:


> i dont know any guys who have had sex and been like "that was horrible, im never doing that again".


save all the guys who've slept with paris hilton.


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## Lilangel27 (Oct 6, 2006)

I agree that there is a stereotypical guy that gets all of these accusations for most guys. The only problem is, things like that messes things up for real guys that are not after only sex. I do find myself 100% different....although then again, maybe I should just start partying and maybe I would be with someone right now!


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

> i dont know any guys who have had sex and been like "that was horrible, im never doing that again".


I don't know. I have a feeling I might be one :lol


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## nesteroff (Nov 14, 2003)

It gets better when you're older, sort of...


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## socialbutterfly (Feb 17, 2006)

thanks for the respones. I didn't even know this thread was still going until I checked the relationships forum, but I'm glad it is...

Everyone's completely right. Im still young and the people Im meeting are usually through parties or partying friends or my brother. As for my brother, its hard to explain... I live in a really small town, and pretty much everyone knows him. He has a reputation for being super tough. He has won basically all fights hes been in because well basicallly... hes crazy. Its somewhat hard to explain.

We dont have the best relationship, and he seems indifferent to what happens to me. He is somewhat dumb (I mean seriously dense). Someone would have to walk up to him and say directly, "your sister is sleeping with such and such". He never picks up on hints, like his firends calling my cell, or seeing them driving around with me, etc. He is way too preoccupied with his own life it seems.

He used to get super mad when he found out his friends were with me. I remember a few times he even planned to jump people he had considered his best friends, but then he also told me Im smart enough to know who I should or shouldnt be with, and hes not going to continuously keep getting upset over me hanging out with the same types of guys. He has told me several times to stay away from certain houses and places. Yet he contradicts himself a lot, like when he takes me to parties or places like that.

He recently severed ties with two of his best friends because they were calling me and hanging out with me. He has since reconnected with one of these people.

Mostly he doesnt know about most of the stuff going on. He doesnt know what all these guys are saying or doing to me. Half the time he doesnt even find out I hang out with some of the people that I do.

Anyway, this "problem" I have is hardly a problem. Im sure somehow Ive brought it upon myself. I want to demand respect from people but I find it hard too. I place a very low value on myself and my confidence is not exactly... high... (hence me being at a social anxiety board). It's almost like I feel like this is the only kind of attention I can get, and if I start avoiding this attention, no one is going to be interested in me.

Its unfair to say every guy is like this... Im sorry, but every guy Ive ever met is like this which says something about my life.

Thanks for the responses... it is quite clear that I need to make a huge change in my life.


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

busstop said:


> ohhhk........I didn't know socialbutterfly started the revolution all by herself!!


I wasn't the one that started generalizing.



busstop said:


> why do i sense a pinch of bitterness


Because you are on soxialanxietysupport.com?


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Zephyr said:


> > i dont know any guys who have had sex and been like "that was horrible, im never doing that again".
> 
> 
> I don't know. I have a feeling I might be one :lol


That's hooooot! :lol


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## Restless Mind (Jul 19, 2006)

It seems like the social consequences your old partying days are finally catching up with you. From your description, you sound like a naive, hot, and fun girl - with a reputation of getting drunk, crunk - whatever it may be, and then, well, yeah... with much older guys too. And if you hang around an older, animal house frat-type crowd, of course all they want is pu$$y (especially some young, tight chick). You _are_ an object in the eyes of most - if not all - the types of guys you encounter. I see the only solution to your problem is to stop hanging out with older guys that have any relation to your brother, or any relation to any person you've ever partied with. Time to find a new crowd. And learn from your mistakes for god's sake!

You have to respect yourself to gain the respect of others. And I think you're finally starting to realize this.


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## nes3 (Dec 4, 2006)

I cant even be like that without SAD lol


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## Micronian (Nov 11, 2004)

socialbutterfly said:


> thanks for the respones. I didn't even know this thread was still going until I checked the relationships forum, but I'm glad it is...
> 
> Everyone's completely right. Im still young and the people Im meeting are usually through parties or partying friends or my brother. As for my brother, its hard to explain... I live in a really small town, and pretty much everyone knows him. He has a reputation for being super tough. He has won basically all fights hes been in because well basicallly... hes crazy. Its somewhat hard to explain.
> 
> ...


I'm not on this thread a lot, but I did read your posts. My mind has somehow come to this conclusion:

Either 1) you are really pretty--or prettier than what you give yourself credit for. 2) somewhere down the line, you've been given the reputation as "easy" by the men.

I say this because I find it strange that they would just come out and say "so...you want to F*** at my place"? Like, even the most aggressive guys at my fraternity (and there were quite a few of them) were never that blunt. Maybe you really are in a small town. My 1st year roomate at university came from a small rural town, and he told me "all there's to do there is just pot, sex, and drive around in your pickup". I don't actually take what he said too literally, but it's a popular characteristic I've heard from others.

If I had any words of wisdom, it would be make other guy-friends. The ones you mentioned don't really sound like your friends. I'm sure you are pretty enough to get attention from many guys, so that shouldn't be a problem.

I used to know a girl (I actually fell really hard for her when I was younger) who told me of similar predicaments, who totally wanted someone to like her for her, but was stuck in a "hoochie" category which drew too much attention/concern from her peers whenever she wanted to change her image. When she went to college, she gave in to her pressures and started having a lot of sex. Later, she got an STD (last time I spoke to her, many years ago, she told me it would spread inside her body and probably cause cancer). It's a bit of a sad story--especially because I liked her so much and I felt I could have made a change. In the end, it's all about being true to yourself.


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