# Can't trust my therapist



## alfman123 (Sep 7, 2009)

Shortly after I was diagnosed with SAD a few months ago, I started seeing a cognitive behavioral therapist to help with my anxiety. I have had some success, although I feel like things have been going at a relatively slow pace which may be partly my fault due to not doing all of the homework, etc. I am still in high school so I am very busy, and I don't know in advance how much work I will have on a given week, so sometimes I can't make it to sessions. I canceled one week and it was at least 24 hours before the appointment, and I had a lot of work the next session two weeks later so I had to cancel again. Then the therapist called me and said that she had a policy that if people cancel at least three times, they can't see her any more because it reduces her income. I understand her needs, but I feel like she was dishonest with me because it wasn't on the packet she gave me at the start of therapy with all of her policies. She told me herself that she doesn't tell people about this policy until they start canceling. She is changing the rules of the game once it has already started.

So I feel upset because I don't really trust her any more and I feel like she is just trying to trick me out of my money. I have talked to a few people about this, and they feel it is wrong that she is telling me about this pre-existing policy only AFTER I have been in therapy with her for a few months. I feel like I am being taken advantage of and I don't trust her, and I want to stop seeing her. But I feel like that will be wasting the time and money my parents put into the therapy, even though my parents have told me that it's okay to stop. Also, I feel like I'm just back to where I started a few months ago, even if I learned some things. 

I don't know what to do next. Have any of you had a similar experience before? Even if you haven't, do any of you have any advice for me on how I should handle this?

Thanks!


----------



## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

If you don't give 24 hours notice, I could see her having that policy. 

But three cancellations in general as grounds for terminating the treatment? Sounds strange to me. 

Therapy is about being comfortable with the person you are seeing. If you aren't comfortable, better to find someone else.

Something you should know is that alot of therapist originally started studying psychology cause they had problems of their own. Don't take it personal. Just move on.


----------



## alfman123 (Sep 7, 2009)

*Yeah*

If it was for cancellations within 24 hours I would understand, and I even understand the policy if its cancellations outside of that time. I'm just mad that she wasn't honest about it before and waited until after I had seen her for nearly three months to tell me that was her policy.

Has anyone ever felt tricked by their therapist before and what did you do?

You're probably right about many psychologists/therapists studying that based on their own problems, sometimes even I contemplate doing that as an adult based on all of my issues.


----------



## redtogo72 (Jun 7, 2008)

Many places will charge you for late cancellations or no-shows. I can understand why you'd be upset, but I don't think she tricked you exactly. What if she canceled on you twice in a row. Wouldn't you feel upset? 

If you are going to stop seeing her, I'd look for another place to get help ASAP. You don't want to hurt your recovery because you are upset with this therapist.


----------



## djr86 (Jul 23, 2009)

This exact situation didn't happen to me but a similar one:

I emailed my therapist and asked for an appointment, she replied, "is wednesday at 5 okay?" I responded and said that was good. She never confirmed to say okay and that she got the appointment so I thought maybe she didn't get it and didn't show up...maybe I was just ignorant to expect a confirmation or an email back from her. Ultimately she wanted to charge me a hefty fee for a missed appointment. We discussed it and determined it was merely miscommunication and she took the fee away and we resumed. No big deal. 

Talk to her and tell her how you feel.


----------



## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

alfman123 said:


> Has anyone ever felt tricked by their therapist before and what did you do?


Never tricked. I have felt insulted though and I let them know that.

I also had one guy that was really good. I was making alot of progress. Unfortunately he cost $115/hr and I was paying out of pocket. Eventually I simply couldn't afford it anymore. It was really painful to see somehting that would help and simply can't have due to lack of money.

Tell her how you feel. Tell her it is BS. She is there to listen to your feelings. You don't have to be their for her. She is paid to be there for you. Use it.


----------

