# To the fellas on this board.. are we



## onlylordknows (Apr 27, 2004)

are we too uncomfortable in our own skin to ever have a relationship?
are we too awkward with poor social skills?
with the above causing us to appear boring and uninterested to others thereby killing all chances of ever forming a relationships? I mean, I can meet girls but even if it got to the point of dating, I'll be too awkward and uncomfortable in my own skin to ever make a steady girlfriend. I've never had one and the longer I go with this problem, the more problems I get. I really need to change my thoughts and start building confidence before there's ever a fighting battle

a girl that is uncomfortable in her own skin will be able to find a boyfriend... but a guy that is uncomfortable in his own skin will have a hard time finding a girlfriend.. that's just a fact


----------



## Eraserhead (Sep 23, 2006)

I've wondered about this too. Even if I worked up the courage to start dating, I can't picture myself being in a functional, long-term relationship. Not at this point anyway.


----------



## PlayerOffGames (Mar 19, 2007)

theres a lot of stuff i need to work on before i can be in a relationship :hide


----------



## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

Ok, I'll bite, but mind you, this is only my opinion from my experiences with shy women

are we too uncomfortable in our own skin to ever have a relationship?

To some degree, yes. If you aren't comfortable with yourself, how will you expect to be comfortable with someone else?

are we too awkward with poor social skills?

Not necessarily. I don't mind the lack of speaking, but it's still important to communicate what you are really feeling and thinking in a relationship otherwise guys will fill in the blanks with their imaginations and it likely won't match reality. In other words, make an effort in communication at least.

with the above causing us to appear boring and uninterested to others thereby killing all chances of ever forming a relationships? I mean, I can meet girls but even if it got to the point of dating, I'll be too awkward and uncomfortable in my own skin to ever make a steady girlfriend. I've never had one and the longer I go with this problem, the more problems I get. I really need to change my thoughts and start building confidence before there's ever a fighting battle

Whoops, I thought it was a girl asking these questions :doh ... anyway...
My points still apply to guys as well. For this, you answered your question, work on yourself some.

a girl that is uncomfortable in her own skin will be able to find a boyfriend... but a guy that is uncomfortable in his own skin will have a hard time finding a girlfriend.. that's just a fact

:stu Maybe... maybe not... but it's worthwhile to work on your positive body image regardless. You'll just feel better about things then.


----------



## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

Up until age 21 I would have said I'd never be in a long term relationship. I really couldn't imagine being around someone that much, let alone being emotionally intimate. 

Now starting and maintaining a relationship seems natural. I only say this because I was certain I'd never feel this way, yet I now do.

As for the way SA effects men vs women, I think those kinds of comparisons are fruitless and often end up hurting feelings.


----------



## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

I guess I have my own shortcomings, but my main problem is lack of exposure to women, and then none of them being my type even when I do. I could have a g/f, I guess, but that would require having a drivers license to meet her, which isn't giong to happen. I kind of just accept things how they are. I don't have a girlfriend, it's not going to happen anytime soon, and the most I have going for me is the chance of someone just popping into my life, kind of like Atticus. 

People here definately have less of a chance of finding someone, but I don't think our loneliness is that much different than everyone elses. Loneliness sucks, but don't give up on yourself. You probably have more of a chance than you realize. I kind of go by the abusive/a-hole/jerk-off/leeching boyfriend example. About 10-20% of relationships I have seen have consisted of one kind jerk-off, abuser or another, and I don't call them jerk-offs because I'm jealous of them being more outgoing, having more success than myself. You know, the whole punching, pushing your girlfriend down the stairs thing is the ultimate qualifier, but there are things below that (such as emotional abuse) that make you almost as close of a qualifier (although, to be fair, most of these relationships I have witnessed consisted of two f'd up, irrational individuals to begin with). I figure if some girls will go for that, they can put up with my social defectiveness, lack of employment potential, etc. If not, well, there are always animals to cuddle with. I won't have sex with the animals, don't worry. I prefer to dry hump my bed.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

onlylordknows said:


> are we too uncomfortable in our own skin to ever have a relationship?


I don't think I am. I've been ready and willing for a while, but finding a decent woman has eluded me.


----------



## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

I'm uncomfortable in my own skin :b I don't think I incorrectly come off as boring. I know I'm boring. I'm guessing if you asked some of the women around me if they perceived me as boring they'd say no. But none of them are around me enough to realize I'm boring, lol. They only get brief glimpses of me. If you spent an entire day with me focussing strictly on me and my actions you'd be bored to tears. That's one of my worries about meeting my e-girl (different than an imaginary girl) in person. Hopefully I'll meet her soon to put to rest any inaccuracies about me that may not be fully realized online. Hopefully this isn't the result :fall


----------



## Anonymous Dude (Mar 25, 2007)

I've noticed alot of girls on this forum have had a relationship or are in one. it's just easier for women to get into relationships because men are usually more up front and make the moves. How much easier it is, is up for debate and doesn't matter much. I'm sure there are girls feeling as lonely as you/I right now. I've gotten hitten on and couldn't handle it, I don't know about other people.


----------



## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

*Re: re: To the fellas on this board.. are we*



Atticus said:


> Up until age 21 I would have said I'd never be in a long term relationship. I really couldn't imagine being around someone that much, let alone being emotionally intimate.
> 
> Now starting and maintaining a relationship seems natural. I only say this because I was certain I'd never feel this way, yet I now do.
> 
> As for the way SA effects men vs women, I think those kinds of comparisons are fruitless and often end up hurting feelings.


What did you do when you were 22 that changed your life? How did you get to this stage?


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

At my age, I am not even trying anymore. I am so wrapped up in trying to better myself. I figure that if I end up a mile ahead of a girl, then that's just the way it'll be :stu.


----------



## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

There is someone for everyone. Always remind yourself of this.


----------



## Xplash (Sep 28, 2005)

millenniumman75 said:


> At my age, I am not even trying anymore. I am so wrapped up in trying to better myself. I figure that if I end up a mile ahead of a girl, then that's just the way it'll be :stu.


It will happen when you least expect it, if you allow it to..


----------



## GaSS PaNiCC (Mar 27, 2007)

When you realize you really want something, it's funny because you really forget about all your worries, such as your anxiety. This is called manifesting reality, and the question is how can we all harness this to talk to women? You'd be surprised what your capable of, you just don't realize it yet.


----------



## LonelyEnigma (Jan 7, 2007)

....


----------



## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

I think I'm basically F'd in the A. I have the capacity to get into a relationship, but to keep it going I don't think I could last. I'm too insecure about myself. Even with the most understanding and sincere woman, I would still be plagued with guilt and jealousy. All I have to look forward to is heart ache. =D


----------



## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

I really want to date someone but I'm feeling that I might be too "broken" of a person to be in a relationship. And at 31 I might be too set in my ways to let someone else in. I've been trying to imagine what it would be like to be in a relationship and I keep feeling that I would make a mess of it and wind up with someone hating me because I can't get past my own hangups. I want to try but I don't expect any success. I'm too much of a loser.


----------

