# Does leaving high school with no friends mean no social life for life?



## Danz

Like honestly, is one's social life down the drain if they leave school with no friends?

I'm in third year uni and have not really made any friends - the only people I have met are the ones who I do group assignments with and after that, we don't talk anymore.

I notice that people still hang out with their friends from high school and it's hard, almost impossible to make friends with people who already have settled and have stable friendships.

Am I right about that?

I think about how to go about making new friends or meeting new people everyday but don't think I'll get far.

Like if I do meet someone from uni and I ask if they would like to hang out on the weekend, wouldn't it be weird if I don't have any of my own friends to bring along?


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## Nekomata

Naw. I never had any friends in high school.
....
Not a great example.

Anyway, I'm sure you can, you don't just make 'friends for life' in high school. People come and go, that's the way things basically work ><; heck, I made more friends when I attended college than I ever did in high school.


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## successful

Probably or a really slim chance.
But You're right. People usually have Kids, get married and all kind of stupid bull**** after they leave h.s. Especially women lol. People just settle down & don't go looking for new friends after the 20-22 age limit it seems.

People are a Wayyyy less social and open in college compared to high school too soo...yeah.


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## Jennifer Clayton

Hmmm. Not from my experience. I kinda had a lot of friends in high school, but what you don't really think about when you are in HS is that when you go to college, most of your friends go to different colleges anyway. Even the tiny handful who go to the same college as me, I rarely ever get to see because our classes are so different. If you are lucky enough to be able to hang on to HS friends, I'm sure that would help your social life. But not true for me. I'm having just as hard of a time as I would if I had no friends in HS, because it is pretty much starting over completely.

And I hatehateHATE it. :x


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## Swish King

I can relate. All of my friends from high school disappeared when I returned home from college. Almost all of the ones I still want to maintain friendship with are living in another state or country atm. I tried to maintain the friendships with my college friends, but my last two years in school were full of depression for me, and my anxiety became overwhelming. I had a hard time being comfortable around people, including my friends. I've been out of college for two years now trying to build a new social life, and I am not going to lie it has been really difficult. I feel like because I have no friends who I can hang out with, potential new friends may find that strange and be turned off. I have joined a gym, a basketball team, a volleyball team, and I have gotten a new job. I also put myself out there at any opportunity. Things are starting to turn up, building comfort with established groups requires special social skills, which I am trying to learn and improve on.


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## Puppet Master

Maybe every friend I had were before High School and I made none while in High School. Now I have absolutely none here.


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## THEuTASTEsOFeINKd

Like many have said, if you stay in the same area that you grew up in then you will probably stay friends with highschool friends but besides that most people make new friends. If you don't have friends at the end of college then you still can make friends through your work but once you're at work and have no friends, you'll be limited to making friends through clubs and activities.

There's still hope for you.


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## DeeperUnderstanding

I left high school with friends, and went through a period where I had no social life. Or periods where I had no social life...things are changing around now, and I'm finally getting back to where I have a social life. 

So no, it doesn't mean that.


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## Minashigo

I never had friends in high-school, but I'll tell you now, your social life isn't dead because you didn't. I've met maybe 15 new people since high-school, through skateboarding, clubs, college in general, and just walking around various towns.


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## Secretly Pretentious

It's difficult, but certainly not impossible if you're a third year uni student. I only retained one of my friendships (didn't have many or any close ones) from high school (she's my roommate in college now) and I got to a slow start making friends in college my Fr/So years. But now I have a pretty good group of friends and I'm much more socialable than I was before. Sure, I still spend most of my time holed up in my room, but at least I'm not isolated anymore. The only problem is that they want me to go hang out at a bar with them. :afr 

My advise to you is to find a school club that interests you and get very involved in it. You'll have exposure to people without it being weird and will at least have something in common to talk about. Unfortunately, it gets much, much harder to make friends after university so try to challenge your anxiety ASAP.

I wish you the best!


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## copper

Most people didn't want to have anything to do with me in HS. Once I was out of HS I would run into them and they acted like I was a long lost friend. I thought to myself screw you. You treated me like crap throughout HS why should I be your buddy. I was cordial to them, but quickly got away from them. No problem in running into them since I moved to a different state 15 years ago. Since HS I have had many friends. I just simply don't really get along with others. I am better off just being alone.


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## mysterioussoul

no, of course not but it would be harder for people like us. most people have already made close friends in high school but because you haven't made any during it it doesn't mean you won't be able to post high school.


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## sewingkiwi

I left highschool with friends but we ended up drifting apart when we all moved to to a big city to go to uni. But I think that there are always new opportunities to make new friends. I just moved overseas and so want to make new friends, the hardest part is getting out there. Making friends at work can be hard as quite often the people you work with have quite different interests and are different ages. But the best way really is to get involved in something that you are interested in, that way the people you meet will have something in common with you, and you'll have something to talk about 
Making friends takes time too, getting to know people can take a while sometimes, as well as feeling comfortable enough around them to open up a bit and relax.
I'm still trying to make new friends as it is... must join the local choir...


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## mmk

feels like it. in my last few months of high school i drifted away from a lot of people (for various reasons, mainly because i was pre-occupied with family matters and i had a two hour break so i wasn't around much) and never really put the time or effort into maintaining the relationships. now i only talk to one person from high school regularly. truthfully, though, i don't see it as much of a loss.

someone said that in college, people aren't as social, which is true. everyone's got school work, jobs, etc. to focus on and friendships are just sort of meh. and if you don't live on campus, it's even harder. i was always really sad that i didn't keep in touch with people from high school, but i guess it's just life.


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## Freiheit

It could yeah, but everyone is different.


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## Daft

Absolutely not. When people finish high school, they don't always stay in the same town and keep all the exact same interests, so it's not like they're set for life. There are a fair few people in their 20's, 30's, and later who still want to socialize, though you will find people who are already settled in and not interested. I'm not sure about college being the ideal atmosphere, though I hear plenty from my more outgoing friends who've gone away to college about what they're up to.


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## gentleman caller

It was much easier making friends and meeting girls in college for me. Now that's over I have a hard time meeting new people period. I guess I squandered away a lot of opportunities in the past. If only I knew this back then.


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## MsDaisy

Anytime is a good time to make friends. Im old and getting ready to create an active social life for myself, youll see. Anytime now.


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## Kathykook

People don't just stop being friendly. Life doesn't stop after high school. You can make friends at any age you want....at any time
It's only harder for us to make friends in general because we have SA, high school or no high school.


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## gentleman caller

Kathykook said:


> People don't just stop being friendly. Life doesn't stop after high school. *You can make friends at any age you want....at any time*
> It's only harder for us to make friends in general because we have SA, high school or no high school.


I found that after a certain point people are less willing to put themselves out there. I think it's because people get busy with their careers, enter serious relationships/marriages or feel satisfied with their current social circle.


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## Monroee

I think it does get much harder to make friends when you leave HS. I had one friend when I left HS. She left me in our first semester of college. I honestly have no idea why she left me & cut off all contact but it happened.

I've tried to make friends numerous times. They either would reject me outright when I asked if they wanted to hang out after classes - or they would go with me for coffee but then things got dreadfully awkward when I didn't have much to talk about on my end - they would ask me what I do with my time & my friends - unfortunately, I didn't do much because I had no friends. I had to make up the fact that I had friends. But I think they saw through me. People can sense when you're alone & a weirdo. So yeah - those people ran off after having a convo with me.

I think it's harder because aren't going to college to make friends. They are going because they want to get their degree & move on in their life. Whereas in HS, everyone was forced to be there for 6 hours straight with the same people everyday, so it was a prime environment for friend-making. But, unfortunately, it wasn't that for me.

So yeah - almost done my second year of college & I have no friends. I've become very accustomed to it however & don't seem to mind most of the time. I've become so used to my alone time, that when I think about friends, it actually gives me a bad taste in my mouth. It seems like they would simply intrude upon my alone time that I've grown to love. But - I wouldn't say no to a boyfriend... That's a different type of relationship that I would like to experience at least once in my life.


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## wildgrl

Danz said:


> Like honestly, is one's social life down the drain if they leave school with no friends?


Oh nooo. Not at all!

I was a meek spaghetti brained wacko in HS. Now i'm just a wacko. College changes a lot of things. I was terrified about going to college, living in a dorm, all those strangers who were gonna judge me, the expectations, etc. etc.

Guess what I learned - everyone else is having the exact same feelings. And by the time that acceptance period settles in, you have some friends and classmates that don't judge you but just enjoy your company.

It's like a new beginning. My reputation as a 'geek'/book worm became apparent quickly (spend most of my free time in the library).. but it's not the same as HS. In college, people are almost envious at extra efforts.. not put off by them.


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## InMyDreams55

I don't think so......


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## Pennywise

It is harder once out of high school, but not impossible. You said you're in college, so there is still a chance to make friends. And if you don't make any by the time you graduate college, there is still the internet!


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## tuneindropout

successful said:


> Probably or a really slim chance.
> But You're right. People usually have Kids, get married and all kind of stupid bull**** after they leave h.s. Especially women lol. People just settle down & don't go looking for new friends after the 20-22 age limit it seems.
> 
> People are a Wayyyy less social and open in college compared to high school too soo...yeah.


Why the "especially women lol"? It takes two to tango, my friend, unless you're talking about lesbian couples. Both men and women tend to stop making new friends when they have kids and settle down.

(also sorry, but I have to point out sexism when I see it.)


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## Dystopia

am I the only one who thinks this thread is a real downer..


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## kos

It's pretty easy for me, someone with social anxiety, to make friends at work. Co-workers ask me everyday how I am and we all make small talk and even have good conversations at lunch sometimes. As long as you are working and being a productive memeber of society you'll make friends. If you're sitting at home you probably won't.


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## liktheangel

I remember a couple years back my sister who is older than me by 11 years said "I'm 23 why would I be looking for new friends or friends at all". I think a lot of people over a certain age have that perspective on making friends. 

As you become older it is certainty older to make friends and to kept those friends as well because people are constantly moving and changing. I think a lot of adults have friends because they made them in college, old friends, work, and because there parents as well. 

It's a double whammy for us with mental illnesses and disorders because we have even harder time making friends in general. I'm 20 and in college and I don't have any friends. Even in high school, elementary school, and middle school I had no real friends. I've had the worst trouble with friendship and I've kind of given up on them. However, good luck to you!


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