# Everyone can cure S.A.!



## Kusjmamire (Aug 20, 2011)

C'mon people, stop limiting yourself with your silly self-fulfilling-prophecys.

Unless you have some heavy case of autism, or real brain damage (but then you also wouldn't be able to be on this site) i think S.A.D. is 100% curable for EVERYONE.

Quit whining .......... "Oh no it won't work for me" "I tried but it didn't work enough" ... NO!

You know what? You didn't try hard enough! If you still aren't cured of your S.A. it means you are being lazy. That's it. I'm not condemning anyone, since i'm being lazy myself, I just want to say that we should stop telling ourselves that 'maybe our SA isnt curable'

Get your mind together, and look up every possible thread mentioning a natural cure/strategy/therapy on this website!

After you are sure to have collected all the possible methods available to help you get rid of your SA, then start doing them all!!

Is money an issue? Either get a nice paid job, borrow money from either a person or a bank, or rob a bank [WARNING: these are just suggestions, i am not responsible for any of your illegal activities] , whatever, just get your money for living, food, and therapy/books, ONLY ESSENTIAL THINGS.

Stop spending money on useless stuff, and time on computer games, on porn, on whatever useless stuff that will not make you progress on your SA!

Again, i repeat, read and read and re-read the whole collection of useful threads on this website to get inspired. I might make a list myself soon.

OK Now you have the knowledge and material, start applying everything. See curing SA as your 'new job'. Make it an 4 to -8 hours per day effort. See it like going to college, but then for your SA. You have to study alot every day!!

Now good luck!! And keep the positivity up !!! And remind yourself you only got one life!! And stop making excuses and being lazy!!!!

Get up and start!! This is your Project Life!


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## Donnie in the Dark (Mar 15, 2011)

wow


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## lionlioncatcat (Dec 29, 2010)

Well if it was that easy, this website woudlnt exist. The galringly obvious barrier that youve overlooked her is depression. Social anxiety --> social deprivation --> depression --> No motivation to cure social anxiety --> social anxiety.

You get the picture.


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## RenegadeReloaded (Mar 12, 2011)

Kusjmamire, i have a question, and i'm not implying anything, I was curios for how long have u been searching for a cure for sa.

I remember the good times when i had such enthuziasm to search and so much devotion and trust and hope and it was like I could concentrate all my efforts on it, 24/7. I was a lunatic, a frenetic about it.

I still search now, but still, I would want that power back that I had in those years. I'm sure that with it things would progress a lot faster.


Where do u find the power to do it and try so hard ? Had passing time made u want it even more or demoralized u ?


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

yEA BOI!!!


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## hoddesdon (Jul 28, 2011)

^ what he said


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## Kusjmamire (Aug 20, 2011)

RenegadeReloaded said:


> Kusjmamire, i have a question, and i'm not implying anything, I was curios for how long have u been searching for a cure for sa.
> 
> I remember the good times when i had such enthuziasm to search and so much devotion and trust and hope and it was like I could concentrate all my efforts on it, 24/7. I was a lunatic, a frenetic about it.
> 
> ...


Hey, i've been searching for cures for about 8 months now i think. But last 2 months, really intensive and with motivation.

I'm telling you just one thing, read my two following threads. All my motivation is explained there. I hope you can recognise yourself in it and be back on track :

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f26/please-write-me-a-motivational-post-146273/
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...-am-not-taking-this-poop-anymore-epic-144236/


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## Kusjmamire (Aug 20, 2011)

Kennnie said:


> yEA BOI!!!


Are you trying to say i am being naive and silly?


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

no im agreeing with with you lol


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

sa is very curable. i remember years ago arguing with someone about this when i first came to the forums here. he was so convinced that it wasn't curable it was obvious he wasn't going to better his situation because he didn't think there was anything to better.

people here are too hard on themselves and situations. a lot of the anxiety they feel is normal and happens to most people except that other people cope with it differently and therefore manage and control it much better. sa'ers have a hard time coping with their anxieties and haven't really learned ways to combat it effectively, but once you do it becomes increasingly evident that they are as normal as anyone else.


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## Kusjmamire (Aug 20, 2011)

Kennnie said:


> no im agreeing with with you lol


lol ok i thought you you were being sarcastic like 'sure boy in your dreams'

I guess assuming statements are sarcasm is just a symptom of my SA :b


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## katiebird (Sep 25, 2011)

thanks for the post this is really encourageing.. I've been trying to place myself in good vibes and trying to get out of my depression. I still have my struggles but I've been reading books, keeping in touch with people, going to church, and I'm planning on volunteering real soon and getting a gym pass so I'm feeling a little more positive lately


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## kos (May 19, 2009)

"You only get one life, and yo because of that
I'm still blazin, goin out for the cause
Still rockin stockin caps, not for the waves, obeyin no laws
And it's like that"

I was just lifting weights and that lyric was stuck in my head. Anyway this guy is right. Study those self help stragities, get off the meds, exercise, stay away from negative people. Stop sitting around complaining, where has that gotten you by the way? I have to admit the Tyler Durden avatar makes me take this thread more seriously.


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## peachteax3 (May 6, 2011)

I agree that SA can be curable. I know this is difficult but I believe people need to be more optimistic. There are treatments out there that can cure SA. Different people need different treatments. Once an appropriate treatment is found, it's all about the effort and patience. SA cannot be cured within a day, week, or month. It can take much longer than that. It's the person that needs to make the effort to find those resources because no one can help you if you're not doing anything about it right?
I know that the sooner I cure my SA, the sooner I will be able to enjoy my life~~And of course, I want to live my life to the fullest, which is why I am seeing a counselor at the moment. Right now I frequently avoid social situations like my friend invited me to go to a Semi-Formal Ball held by our university but I declined it even though I know it will be fun.


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## WhoDey85 (Sep 6, 2006)

How is this positive? seriously...


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## robtyl (Sep 2, 2010)

WhoDey85 said:


> How is this positive? seriously...


I prefer it to 95% of the other threads here about how life isn't worth living, how SA will limit you forever, how the whole world sucks except for us, etc.

Good on you OP.

The only thing holding back people with SA is themselves. I had severe SA and I've worked my arse off to improve. And I have! I've had my ups and downs but I'm slowly progressing.

People aren't interested in working hard at it. In life, there are winners and losers, and the winners will do whatever it takes.

x


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## sherbert (Jun 24, 2005)

I was going to write an indignant rant about this, but every once in a while, I think it's good to get angry and assess how hard you're working at it. Did I really need to spend that time sleeping or playing video-games? How much porn do i _really_ need to look at? lol. :teeth

Although, it really is hard when you're depressed! Depression is a big big issue for a lot of people. It's difficult to stay motivated when you don't see accomplishments as such. Is that an excuse to not make positive changes? No. However, it's pretty important to have an element of compassion along with the 'tough love'.

There's also the issue of how one defines 'cure' and what it means to have a mental illness. It's not like rehabilitating after a broken bone or torn muscle. You don't stop managing your depression/socially anxious tendencies once you reach a certain stage. That's not to say it doesn't get easier with effort, but it's not nearly so black and white. I think management is akin to how alcoholics deal. It's a change of life-style and thinking.


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## robtyl (Sep 2, 2010)

@ sherbert: You make some good points. I've been depressed before - hell I was even truly upset about something quite serious yesterday and it's amazing cos I can actually _feel_ the difference in the way I think... where even getting up to get something to eat 'just isn't worth it'.

Had a good night's sleep and am thinking much more clearly.

So I totally have compassion for people that are feeling low cos I've been there a number of times, and still go there every now and again.

But some people don't try to help themselves. Coming on these forums and reading threads from other people about how life stinks, or how hard life is with SA only helps to reinforce it. I've made a number of posts about this, criticising people who say "I will never get better and neither will you" people who also tell others to be _grateful_ for having SA - and I've been criticised to hell and back for it.

I can't imagine an alcoholic going on an alcoholics forum and reading about how life sucks and it's easier to just drink your problems away - and then get better from it. I can't imagine a pedophile going on pedophile forums and reading about how "it's just too tough" to find love with someone your own age and the sweet smell of pre-pubscence is the only 'security' in the world; nor can I imagine said pedophiles creating posts about what there is to be thankful for in having pedophilia. Maybe you're more understanding of the needs of young children? Hmm.

SA is a disorder. Just as anorexics shouldn't be happy about not eating properly, so too should people SA not be happy they can't just interact with others normally.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Social anxiety is a _disorder_. There's nothing fun about it, nothing 'worthwhile' about it and it really does decrease your quality of life.

No one should be thankful they have it, just as they wouldn't be thankful for being blind or deaf or dumb.

Fortunately for us, there _is_ hope in dealing with it, or beating it completely. But it takes hard work. Many prefer not to struggle. They'd prefer to come online to these forums and read about others' problems. And reinforce their own issues in the process. It's a joke.

People might not like the world - but neither did I when I was really bad. Beating SA doesn't mean you have to become an alcoholic or engage in free sex or party all night. It just means you can talk to someone new and not be scared of them, or be relaxed at least.

_There is nothing wrong with wanting to be able to do that. And there is no excuse anyone can invent that this would not be desirable._

Like I said, it's all about having options. To be free to do different things. And once you're in the position, then you choose how you want to live your life - however you want to. But through _choice_, and not through being limited in the first instance.

Quite off-topic and not so much a response to your post as a means of me stating how I feel about how things are, but there you go.

x


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## sherbert (Jun 24, 2005)

robtyl said:


> @ sherbert: You make some good points. I've been depressed before - hell I was even truly upset about something quite serious yesterday and it's amazing cos I can actually _feel_ the difference in the way I think... where even getting up to get something to eat 'just isn't worth it'.
> 
> Had a good night's sleep and am thinking much more clearly.
> 
> ...


I think you are skewing what I was trying to say about alcoholism in relation to mental health. What I was trying to imply (and I know it's apples and oranges), is that it's a system of regular maintenance.

I really don't disagree with you too much. You cannot dwell on the negatives, but that is the double-edged sword of the support forum and I consider it a part of my duty of 'paying it forward' to those who are struggling. I have been there, but I have also been lifted up and encouraged by strangers too. People who, for no other reason than wanting to, have helped me. That's a powerful thing. You definitely have to pick your battles though.

Where I happen to disagree with you (and) probably many others who have made it to certain stage in their progress, is that I don't think it's something you're entirely free from. That's not to say I feel like it's a hopeless situation, far from it, but I am saying there's an element of your being that you have to keep monitoring. I actually use it as a excuse TO engage in social activities that make most people nervous. My default mode is to be timid and to withdraw. So given the opportunity, I cannot do that, least I fall back into that pattern of isolation and avoidance.

Now, I say that with as much compassion as possible. Callousness never won me over when I was struggling, really struggling. That made me more often than not, want to give up. If you want to give support, never forget that aspect of genuine compassion. Encourage, do not insult! Telling someone they're lazy is obviously not the same as telling them 'you can do it'. One is empowering, the other is just giving a depressive person a reason to further hate themselves. You have to be at a certain place in order to use insults in a way that compels you to do better. That works well for a healthy mind, but for a depressive person, it's playing with fire.

We're sensitive people. THAT I can see as a good thing. If everyone were alike, it would be a pretty boring place to live. Plus, there are personality types that aide in allowing some to simply feel more and in a unique perspective. Using as a reason to prolong your suffering or to avoid seeking treatment... well, that's not being honest. I haved called quite a few people on that myself.


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## Tugwahquah (Apr 13, 2011)

Thank you for this thread OP! I wish more people would here would follow your advice, cause so many here act so pathetic and hopeless that i cant even stand listening to any negativity anymore. I read your post and just had to log in to say im proud of you. I know you will do well in life with that amazing attitude you have.

The other day i read a post where a 20 year old kid is suckling oñ disability payment just for having SA and bipolor, and it really pissed me off. What a lazy, worthless ••••!


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## AnxiousA (Oct 31, 2011)

Tugwahquah said:


> The other day i read a post where a 20 year old kid is suckling oñ disability payment just for having SA and bipolor, and it really pissed me off. What a lazy, worthless ••••!


I agree that positivity is a good thing, and that always striving to get better is important.

I do take exception to your last paragraph. 'Just' having SA and bipolar? Mental illness affects us all different, some more severely than others. It doesn't make someone lazy or worthless if at some point in their life they are unable to work/function due to mental illness. While many with SA and/or bipolar can work and function at a relatively normal level (I'm not dismissing thier suffering, just talking about functionality) that doesn't mean all can. I don't know about where you are, but here in the UK the tests for disability benefits on the grounds of mental health are incredibly strict. I think it is unfair to judge someone.


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## Tugwahquah (Apr 13, 2011)

I agree, not right to judge, but the kid was just bragging. Im in the US. It took my mom 8 years to get disability after her stroke. I supported her during that time. Guess im just bitter
Im so freaking tired of working my tush off. This life has so hard to stay strong in. It would have been easy for me to give up and claim mental illness, but get paid for it is probably another story.


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## Christina123 (May 26, 2011)

OP is so full of bull****.


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## Kusjmamire (Aug 20, 2011)

Christina123 said:


> OP is so full of bull****.


Oh really? I thought it was a way of changing perspective, how it should be.
Negativity won't get you nowhere, especially now when having SA.

Do you guys ever hear about the Law of attraction? Or things like, positivity attracts positivity, or simply the common sense that if you put a mental limit on something, it's impossible to ever achieve that goal.

If you really still think i am so 'FULL of BS' , then go ahead read the 10000's of other depressive, soulbreaking threads on this forum, continue sitting on your arse on your computer, fantisizing to porn or whatever, playing video games, eating junk food, taking medicines, or whatever is true for your case, and let time pass, then 10 years later start a thread with 'WHY is my life so sad??? WHY can't i be happy?'

........ I think a lot of people here are some kind of hypocrites...

Tugwahquah and the rest, thanks for your support people.

I am definately sick of this BS and i don't want to spend the rest of my life living in cyberspace, fantasy and my own isolated reality, achieving nothing.
I want to leave this place with a feeling of pride when my time comes to die.


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## kev (Jan 28, 2005)

Tugwahquah said:


> Thank you for this thread OP! I wish more people would here would follow your advice, cause so many here act so pathetic and hopeless that i cant even stand listening to any negativity anymore. I read your post and just had to log in to say im proud of you. I know you will do well in life with that amazing attitude you have.
> 
> The other day i read a post where a 20 year old kid is suckling oñ disability payment just for having SA and bipolor, and it really pissed me off. What a lazy, worthless ••••!


Ehh, just a wonderful attitude you've got there.

I would support this thread if I truly thought the OP was being sincere and trying to help, but he really just wants to feel superior. To the OP, if you leave like you have overcome SA, leave the site, and get on with your life.


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## Kusjmamire (Aug 20, 2011)

kev said:


> Ehh, just a wonderful attitude you've got there.
> 
> I would support this thread if I truly thought the OP was being sincere and trying to help, but he really just wants to feel superior. To the OP, if you leave like you have overcome SA, leave the site, and get on with your life.


I am sincere and trying to help. I have not overcome SA yet myself. Not at all, still long time to go.
Sorry if my slightly pissed off posts make me sounds like i'm trying to feel superior, cause i'm not.
It's just my way of getting motivated, and radiating motivation.
For me personally getting to a point where i am pissed off on myself has worked the best to start making good changes in my life. And i think this is fact for most people too. Actually, this is what the 'pissed off mood' serves for, to make changes in our life.

I think my style is appreciated by a lot of people, hence also the one person that made a comment on my Tyler Durden avatar.
I like the Tyler Durden style, it's always brings results for me.

Now get pissed off at yourself and start doing something with your life. 

You should check out the movie Fight Club  Then let me know what you think of my posts 

Now get pissed off at yourself

Now goodluck with overcoming your SA, i had a hard time myself today!!

Maybe because of exam stres, but i felt a little bit too anxious than accepted for myself today.


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## kev (Jan 28, 2005)

Okay, thanks for the response. I was out-of-line with my own. Sorry about that. I'm being genuine by the way. I was too quick to judge, which is something I have been having trouble with (perhaps in part due to the recent troll infestation) 

I will try to be more diplomatic in the future.


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## RenegadeReloaded (Mar 12, 2011)

robtyl said:


> People aren't interested in working hard at it. In life, there are winners and losers, and the winners will do whatever it takes.
> 
> x


U make it sound like ppl who try same as hard (or even harder) but DON'T succeed are losers.

I haver to disagree here, finding a cure isn't proportional to the effort u put in finding it, that's what I understood from your post. Maybe i'm taking it too personal, but I felt offended.


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## JenN2791 (Aug 21, 2011)

It really is curable for sure. If it wasn't, I wouldn't be majoring in broadcast journalism right now -_-

So props to you OP!

The only thing truly holding us back with the SA is ourselves for sure. I personally haven't seen the amount of improvement I set a goal for cuz I probably didn't work hard enough. I def recall holding myself back on and off...good ol relapse eh? Anyways, yah.. it sure takes lots of time and effort. I do understand we all probably wished this would just go away with a simple pill or something..where we'd magically be 1000% outgoing and whatnot the next day. But... overall I guess life in general doesn't work that way. If it did -- I doubt we'd be learning anything valuable about ourselves and others.

So again-- thanks for this thread  I really cannot stand seeing so much negativity here. Of course I can be very neg myself, we all have our terrible off days, but there's some who have no hope at all.. and it worries me. I've noticed w myself, the more I mope about my SA and coming up w/ excuses or reasons as to why my life will always suck, the more I drown in SA than get out of it..


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## JenN2791 (Aug 21, 2011)

And -- how in the world does the OP sound superior???? o_o He's clearly just trying to help and inject motivation in all of us.


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## Tugwahquah (Apr 13, 2011)

^Agreed, I like OP's style


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## ForeverStallone (Apr 4, 2011)

The reason it's hard to change something, even if you know you're capable of changing it and want to change it, is 'homeostasis'. The body wants to stay in the state it's in because it's surviving, it's comfortable. It doesn't need to be put through emotional or physical turmoil to improve because in this current moment it is not going to die so there's no need to get out of this comfort zone.

That's why you get posts like 'that's bullsh*t' because being told it's within you to change challenges the belief system that's been ingrained and a threat to the bodies desire to stay the same. And the negative posts and dwelling on the negatives is comforting because it's easier than taking action to change.

When you start improving it might go well for a while, or might not, but you're body and mind want to pull you back in to it's comfortable state. You have to fight tooth and nail to not get sucked back.

Good post OP.

Btw this post isn't to feel superior to anyone. I'm the same, the homeostasis is keeping me at bay too.


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## luffy (Jun 2, 2011)

lionlioncatcat said:


> Well if it was that easy, this website woudlnt exist. The galringly obvious barrier that youve overlooked her is depression. Social anxiety --> social deprivation --> depression --> No motivation to cure social anxiety --> social anxiety.
> 
> You get the picture.


where in his post did he say that it was easy?



> OK Now you have the knowledge and material, start applying everything. See curing SA as your 'new job'. Make it an 4 to -8 hours per day effort. See it like going to college, but then for your SA. You have to study alot every day!!


does that sound easy to you?

of course it's not easy, he's saying it's possible.


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## Love Minus Zero (Mar 23, 2011)

I def agree with the OP.
I find that when my SA interferes with life, I have to "verbally *****slap" myself to get things done. 

Yea, it's hard. Change is uncomfortable. I've been going at it for years BUT I have improved a lot. I can now answer the door if someone is there, and I can even talk to my grandparents (something I could never do as a child). 

The thought of change scares me alot, but I'd rather go through uncomfortable change than be stuck and never growing.


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