# Would you have a long distance relationship?



## hbk4894 (Sep 2, 2014)

do you think they work?


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## DJAshton (Jun 8, 2015)

If its in the same country then sure. Whether they work or not just depends entirely on the people involved and whether they make it work.


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## DESeishin87 (Jun 17, 2015)

I''m currently living in Georgia and am in a long-distance relationship with a man in Florida, ongoing five years now. So yes, I think they can work if both individuals are patient and understanding. Plenty of communication is a must, as with any normal relationship.


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## Crisigv (Aug 3, 2013)

They can work, as long as you put a lot of effort into it. Eventually though, someone's going to have to move if you want to be together permanently.


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## Grog (Sep 13, 2013)

Non physical ????? Is it a relationship or a friendship ?????


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## herk (Dec 10, 2012)

never again


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## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

yes, if travel is in the cards and the other party is as committed to it as i am.


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

They can work. However, for me, there is no way...I'm just not configured to be able to do them. I like being with somebody I'm dating and generally am always looking forward to seeing them again. Every encounter would require intricate planning. It all seems depressing to me.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Whatever answers you get here, they're usually based on someone's personal experience and are not reflective of whether a LDR works for you or not. Or someone is just purely speculating and stating a preference.

Just ignore the posters that come on and simply say "LDRs never work". Maybe they didn't work for them, but it doesn't mean they can't work.


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

Absolutely NOT.


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## ouk (Jun 16, 2015)

My most significant relationships were long distance but at this point in my life I'd probably prefer if I could find something not so long distance. Life seems up in the air for me though. Just taking life where my emotions and situations lead me at the moment.


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## Genos (Dec 17, 2014)

i've seen it work before, but i don't know if i would anymore [even though the only person i've ever been in love with was long distance]. i guess if i really, really liked them but i doubt that'll ever happen again lol im so indifferent to everyone now


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## thatGuyyy (Jun 16, 2015)

fukc no, I need vag more than once a ****ing month


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## halfly (Sep 18, 2012)

I don't think they work unless maybe they know they'll be together eventually. For me personally, definitely won't work. Even if we knew that in a year or two we could be together. My boyfriend lives an hour away and I could only see him once a week, without sleepovers or staying out late. I often thought about ending things just because of that which seems ridiculous, I'm aware, but it was just too hard.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

No, I wouldn't. That wouldn't be remotely satisfying for me, so it wouldn't seem worthwhile. I need lots of touching or its not really a relationship to me. Not saying it doesn't work for others, though. Everybody is different. I'm happy for them if it does.


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## Lonly Cat (Mar 8, 2015)

I don't like physical contact much but i do need someone who will love to spend his time with me and to do things together.
It can work for certain period of time, about a year or two but if i know i will never meet the person i love i won't go for it.


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## DistraughtOwl (Mar 1, 2014)

They work in the sense that it's the only way for me to get a girlfriend. Although I don't think I'll be in anymore long distance relationships anymore. Or any relationship for that matter.


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## GodOfBeer (May 31, 2015)

Yeah, for the first month or two.


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## x Faceless x (Mar 13, 2011)

They can work if someone's willing to move. My boyfriend and me were long distance for about a year. Now we live together and are coming up on our 4 year anniversary.


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## feels (Jun 18, 2010)

I'm sure they can work but I personally couldn't handle it.


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

It works for some people but I wouldn't want to.


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## annoymous (Mar 9, 2012)

Long distance relationships were a bad idea for me. It went well long distance, but once we moved in together and got married we realized we were two completely different people from our online personalities. No matter how hard you try to be honest with your online partner, there still is a level of anonymity to it. You have time to carefully choose your words and think things through. You never really get a good sense of the person until you spend a good amount of time with them IN person.


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## FortuneAndFame (Dec 26, 2013)

I am in one now. AMA.


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## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

Never again. I tried it once and it sucked. I feel like if you have a purely long distance relationship it doesn't even really count. You're just going over to see the person you've talked to online a couple of times and then what? Also you dont get a true sense of their self when away from them. Things that bother you about them when you're with them seem insignificant when away. It's good to have a healthy, proximity relation.My personal preference is to have someone I can see multiple times a week or on the weekends to just chat up. Plus, long distance only works if you've already been with that person in person and somehow have a bond that can last a while.



EDIT 3000th POST


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## Bbpuff (Sep 1, 2010)

Some do work, some don't. Just like with any other "normal" relationship. Long distance will only be successful if you have plans for the future together. If you do not see that person in your life for the long haul, it will not work out. Same goes with plans to close the distance, if no plans are being made the relationship will fail. Period. You can not keep long distance up forever. (Unless you are able to visit one another at a regular basis... I'm referring to more larger distances i.e. across the country, or different continents, where visiting is more rare)

The main reason why these relationships fail is drifting apart from one another. I cannot stress enough how important it is to be constantly communicating. A few texts throughout the week probably isn't going to cut it. This person is far away therefore you need to compensate for the distance by always making time for one another each and everyday. Once you start drifting apart and talking less and less the relationship is destined for failure. Someone who lives closer will sound more appealing if the person far away isn't always emotionally there for you. 

It really is a big investment and commitment, which takes so much time and energy to maintain. But if you really love that person and want to spend the rest of your life with them, I personally think it's well worth the sacrifice.


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## anomnomnom (May 28, 2013)

Its pretty much the only way I've been able to have any sort of relationship in mah pitiful existence (apart from an awkward stint during college where I somehow ended up with a real life..girlfriend and everything) 

I can safely say I'd rather remain single for the rest of my life than go down that route again (Which is good because thats looking likely), yeah its all great when your meeting up and spending time together, then when its back to separating again and unsure when the next time you can meet...ugh.

I guess it works for some people, I suppose it depends at what point your at in your life, how far away you live, how realistic it is to live together, basically anything that stops it being a LDR..because..well, **** that


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

If he was really worth it.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Tried it thrice now. Dumb.


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## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

Nope nope nope.


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## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

no. not again. unless there is like 150% chance of meeting permanent.. otherwise no matter how faithful , devoted or trusting you think you can be... someone is likely to just become unfaithful and finally disrespect you.


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## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

AussiePea said:


> Tried it thrice now. Dumb.


shame. it only took me the once to learn.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

If they're one to two hours away, then yes. Driving longer than that would be bad.


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## thomasjune (Apr 7, 2012)

Not for me. Getting attached to someone that I can't spend time with at least a few times a week would just cause me a lot of heart aches..so I'd rather not even try.


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## Caramelito (Apr 6, 2014)

Nope, they don't work. It's a waste of time.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

I don't have the confidence that it would ever work.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

KILOBRAVO said:


> shame. it only took me the once to learn.


They're always too good to be true at the start.


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

Can they work? Definitely, it's not _nearly_ as big of a deal as most people make it out to be and is actually easier than you'd imagine. The people who say they don't have only had bad personal experiences with them, which doesn't mean their experiences will necessarily be the same. Or have not experienced one in the first place and just assume it won't. My experience was very good for example.

Personally though, never again am I getting into one, especially since it was my first relationship. It was great while it lasted, but I really felt that after that, I want someone who is nearby, another long distance relationship wouldn't cure the loneliness the break up caused and would only prevent me from finding other potential partners.

Really as for most relationships, it's pointless to ask other people. Everyone is different, not to mention every individual relationship is different. Unless we're talking about abusive relationships, or unless it's something pretty universal like "you need good communication" there's no worth in listening to other people's relationship advice and you just need to figure it out for yourself.


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## Ciaran128 (Mar 19, 2014)

I've never been in one but I'd give it a go if I thought the person was worth it. Obviously there'd be difficulties with the physical distance and being able to travel to each other regularly would help with that, as well as some prospect of being together eventually. But if you communicate well and are upfront with each other about what's working and what isn't then I think it can definitely be done. Having said that I imagine some people/personality types would cope better than others. I think I'd do ok with it, but who knows...


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

Might. It seems stupid just to restrict yourself to your immediate vicinity just out of convenience.


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## noctilune (Jun 8, 2015)

I honestly don't know. I've had horrible luck with attempting to date guys in my area. I think I might have a fear of dating no matter the distance at this point. It would take a very special person.


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## StaceyLaine14 (Apr 11, 2015)

If we met online, no. We could make plans to date in the future if we could meet in person a few times to discover whether or not we had any real chemistry, but limiting myself to seeing one person to the exclusion of others who live in my area and may be more compatible with me seems unjustifiable. There are a lot of subtle, yet important things that can be missed while communicating electronically.

If we had dated for a while then had to go our separate ways for some reason, I probably would still choose to take a break from each other. Other people would catch our eye while we were apart regardless. May as well have the freedom to act on it so you can either find someone better suited for you than your SO or have your attraction to each other reinforced. 

If we had dated long enough for me to feel comfortable, assured that we had a feel understanding of each other, and certain that I couldn't ask anything more of a partner, I'd be liable to suggest we get married before the separation. I'm not sure I could be faithful sexually, but I'm 99% certain I'd be faithful emotionally. There are ways to handle the former whether the infidelity is my own or my spouse's. The latter would be much more complicated.


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## CryoSynth (Oct 6, 2012)

Ntln said:


> Can they work? Definitely, it's not _nearly_ as big of a deal as most people make it out to be and is actually easier than you'd imagine. The people who say they don't have only had bad personal experiences with them, which doesn't mean their experiences will necessarily be the same. Or have not experienced one in the first place and just assume it won't. My experience was very good for example.
> 
> Personally though, never again am I getting into one, especially since it was my first relationship. It was great while it lasted, but I really felt that after that, I want someone who is nearby, another long distance relationship wouldn't cure the loneliness the break up caused and would only prevent me from finding other potential partners.
> 
> Really as for most relationships, it's pointless to ask other people. Everyone is different, not to mention every individual relationship is different. Unless we're talking about abusive relationships, or unless it's something pretty universal like "you need good communication" there's no worth in listening to other people's relationship advice and you just need to figure it out for yourself.


I pretty much agree with all of that.

I was in one for almost 7 years. I don't regret starting it because it resulted in a lot of experience and benefits and I'd have had nobody else anyway. That connection was better than none, for me. But I'd never WANT to do it again. There are a lot of pains and negatives involved, and I think it's reasonable to say a more local relationship is far superior.


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## Septic Rodent (Aug 28, 2014)

Definitely not.


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## Steinerz (Jul 15, 2013)

Eh probably wouldn't work out too well if it was mainly long distance for a long time. Personally I'd feel you'd have to move in together pretty quickly for it to work. Yeah I know that's crazy but that is how I feel it would have to be to work.

Overall you'll end up feeling frustrated.


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

My boyfriend and I are form the same county (our counties are small) but I was in college 2 hours away, then after college I movedd 2.5 hours away for work. We are together for 3 years now, I just did a job interview to move closer to him.....but I don't think I got that!!!
We work I guess, kind of scared of moving in with him, I love my space and freedom - sharing every part of my life with someone is kind of scary. I am a secretive person.


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## Mousey9 (Dec 27, 2012)

"All talking and no sex, kill me now" - himym


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