# Is Sex Absolutely Necessary?



## Ai (Oct 13, 2012)

As someone who doesn't care as much about sex as the average woman seems to (I'm not asexual nor is my libido impaired--it's just not an important motivation for me), I find it kind of fascinating the degree to which attitudes toward it differ given different platforms, demographics, etc. Pretty sweepingly, though, I've come across the opinion again and again that romantic relationships necessitate sex--otherwise they're just "friendships." I've even witnessed people agree they'd be willing to compromise while, say, in a relationship with an asexual partner, *as long as they allowed them to have meaningless sex with others outside the relationship (essentially, an "open" arrangement.)* That's some significant valuing.

Basically, given how alienating social anxiety tends to be and how many members here seem to consistently express similar cravings for emotional companionship and fulfillment, I was curious what the sentiment was on SAS.

Would you be willing to date someone (long term) who you were able to care about deeply, with whom you were able to share a significant and deep emotional bond--if it meant you would be foregoing sex? Could you be "romantic" without intercourse?

Assume cuddling, kissing, and other forms of physical affection are completely fair game.


----------



## 629753 (Apr 7, 2015)

Nope.

I dont crave on sex, or am like most man bobbling out of their mouths when they see a hot female but nah i must have sex.

If this is inderectly a question to if you will ever find someone like that, well most men, even cool dudes, want sex soo. lol


----------



## Ai (Oct 13, 2012)

impedido10 said:


> If this is inderectly a question to if you will ever find someone like that, well most men, even cool dudes, want sex soo. lol


Nope. I'm only asking what I'm asking. It's honest curiosity.

(The sentiment does make me feel deeply for those who are legitimately asexual, however... As if dating isn't almost impossibly difficult enough.)


----------



## 629753 (Apr 7, 2015)

Ai said:


> Nope. I'm only asking what I'm asking. It's honest curiosity.
> 
> (The sentiment does make me feel deeply for those who are legitimately asexual, however... )


I know a girl here who is in a relationship that is assexual. i dont know details


----------



## Rains (Jan 20, 2016)

I picked not sure because I don't know if I'd feel sexually attracted to them long term if we had no sex life. And without sexual attraction I possibly wouldn't be bothered (or I'd be too repulsed) to kiss and cuddle in an intimate way.


----------



## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

_I'm female, and I could have a romantic relationship without sex_



> Assume cuddling, kissing, and other forms of physical affection are completely fair game.


Voted on the basis of "sex" in this case meaning just intercourse and not full exclusion of all sexual activities.


----------



## Ai (Oct 13, 2012)

Amphoteric said:


> _I'm female, and I could have a romantic relationship without sex_
> 
> Voted on the basis of "sex" in this case meaning just intercourse and not full exclusion of all sexual activities.


That is a fair point, and a distinction I realize now I left a little ambiguous. Oops. Actually, if I could edit the poll (which it doesn't appear I can?), I would add an additional option per category. For all intents and purposes, though, as things stand, we can just go on the definition of "sex" here being "intercourse." So other potentially erotic bonding activities aren't _necessarily_ excluded--mutual masturbation, erotic touch, oral sex, etc. On a case by case basis, however, (which obviously this poll couldn't possibly account for) even some of these might be a sticking point for certain people. Asexuality itself, even, operates on a continuum more than a fixed value. 

But the potentiality of those activities (as in it "could" happen) is good enough, I suppose.  Sorry about that.


----------



## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

Sex is a biological need for most, so is pretty much absolutely necessary. There's really no way to rationalize anything else.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

Absolutely, I've never had intercourse with a person and I'm doing just fine without. I do need to get rid of those pesky urges somehow, i.e. masturbation. I can't see myself relying on other people to do that for me, nor would I want to be dependent on that.


----------



## Zatch (Apr 28, 2013)

Not necessary at all. But they better be prepared to compensate with aggressive snuggling, piggy back rides, all that stuff.

Just contact, basically. As long as I don't have to make breakfast with a crazy lady or guy taped to me.


----------



## LemonBones (Sep 25, 2015)

Stupid Virgin loner with no girlfriend because he never grew up properly and that wants sex and a good relationship, what option is that?

Having only kissed like 2 girls years apart and being a 25+ virgin, I feel about as normal functioning human as a tablecloth.

I had a chance once at sex but the condom application went horribly wrong, she got embarassed and left.


----------



## Chelsalina (Oct 15, 2014)

I could definitely be in a relationship without sex, in fact I prefer none.


----------



## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

I'm ok with waiting until marriage or whenever but to be in a romantic relationship and never have sex, I don't think I could deal.


----------



## Mammagamma (Dec 9, 2015)

I don't crave sex really, but I do think a relationship with no sex is weird and awkward.


----------



## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

I've never been in a relationship or had sex but if I was to get in a relationship I would want to have sex.


----------



## Nernef (Nov 21, 2015)

I voted "I'm male, and I'm not sure whether I could have a relationship w/o sex." I'd want sex every day though really dammit!


----------



## user2017 (Feb 8, 2016)

I never had sex and I never felt the need of it.
So no, not necessary for me, I could have a relationship without sex. But I think even that will never happen in my whole life...


----------



## naptime (Aug 20, 2015)

I could not even begin to imagine being in a long term relationship and not having or wanting sex. It's just pure human instinct to want it. From a scientific view point it's the whole purpose of any living creature, find a mate and reproduce. My opinion is that if someone is in a serious relationship and has no interest in sex they either have some deep hidden issues, have convinced themselves it's not important or maybe are a virgin and don't know what they're missing


----------



## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

I honestly have no idea...


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I put I'm not sure, I could I think? But if I was with someone I was really sexually attracted to as well as romantically then it might be difficult once I'm comfortable with them. I haven't been in a relationship like that yet though. It wouldn't be easy with the right person.. Like it might get really hard lol. but of course I'd deal if I had to if I really liked them. It's hard for me to find someone I really like who also likes me.



naptime said:


> I could not even begin to imagine being in a long term relationship and not having or wanting sex. It's just pure human instinct to want it. From a scientific view point it's the whole purpose of any living creature, find a mate and reproduce. My opinion is that if someone is in a serious relationship and has no interest in sex they either have some deep hidden issues, have convinced themselves it's not important or maybe are a virgin and don't know what they're missing


Your opinion is wrong in many cases, if people have varying sex drives it makes sense that some people would fall on either extreme. Also for a lot of people it's more about sexual attraction. Imagine having sex with someone you're not attracted to at all. Some asexual people will do sexual stuff for their partners sake or to try it out, but won't enjoy it. Easy for me to understand because I've done that, though I'm not asexual. Mostly meh mixed with scientific curiosity.


----------



## andretti (Jan 2, 2016)

nope. i crave sex.Im a sex addict. 
when i have a girl and we spend days together. its like minimum 2 times a day i want to hit . in the car , quickies , etc etc. i have to have it. its my favorite drug.


----------



## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Ai said:


> As someone who doesn't care as much about sex as the average woman seems to (I'm not asexual nor is my libido impaired--it's just not an important motivation for me)
> 
> Would you be willing to date someone (long term) who you were able to care about deeply, with whom you were able to share a significant and deep emotional bond--if it meant you would be foregoing sex? Could you be "romantic" without intercourse?
> 
> Assume cuddling, kissing, and other forms of physical affection are completely fair game.


 Well, it sounds like you have strong negative feelings about it. Not just an indifference to it. Maybe I'm wrong.

For example, if I'm dating someone and she likes to have coffee with people she likes and she says "Hey. Would you like to have coffee with me today?" I would probably do it even if it's not the most inspiring thing in the world to me. The only thing I can think of that would make me completely take having coffee off the table would be if I just hate coffee or find it a completely intolerable experience.

I don't mean to be offensive but I just don't understand how you can say you don't have a strong aversion to sex if you're completely not willing to do it at all.

And please don't misunderstand. I'm not putting you down or anything. You asked and in my opinion, I think honesty and clarity are important things in relationships. A lot of people have bad experiences because they are just not clear on terms and feelings and things of that nature when they get into a relationship with someone.

I don't think sex is absolutely necessary for everyone. But you'd need to find someone who would be cool with that. I don't think most men would be. I think if a man really cared about you he might try to live on those terms but I believe you would really need to help him understand why. I think sex is expected in a serious relationship and a lot of people are just going to say "Why?" if you tell them "Hey. Let's have a serious relationship with absolutely no sex".

And also, I have to say (to be honest) I don't think your position on this is all that rare. I don't think most women are nearly as enthusiastic about sex as most men are.

And BTW, from my personal experience, men tend to get turned on by kissing so I can't imagine kissing someone I'm attracted to and have feelings for and NOT wanting to have sex.


----------



## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

Yeah, it is necessary...eventually.


----------



## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

would depend on the person and what other activities were on/off the table.


----------



## Apoc Revolution (Dec 2, 2013)

_Iͭ̌ have no int̜̄ͩent᷄ion ͊̍o̧f ̥ever gettin̆g nͯaked wi͙th someonͯe. I͡ was ᷇́ņeverͪ intereste͊d̖̹ in ̰int̫erͤ́co̷urse, and I find ̴geni͌̅tals visually ù̡ͫn͎᷾̑̈́å̛͂p͋̄̐͊͜p̖̃᷈ḙ̗̽̆ȧ̰̞l̤̯᷅i͏͏̖n͊ͪ͌g̐᷀ͮ. Sĕx̤̓uaļ actsͪ w͞ou̘ld᷊͌ als᷃o triggeͥr ͬmy d̟̀̀ỳ͕̟̀s̟̀̀p̟̀̀h̟̀̀ò̟̀r̟͔̀̀ì̟̀à̟᷂̀, ̫̃᷇so ̎I̶ w͊oul̟̪d̔ w̉ant to a᷃ͧͩv͂͗͟ỏ̧͈i͇ͥ͘d̵̦ͅ ţ̈́͌hat. I a᷃m c̻apͣͤablẻ ő̠f getting arou͞se̽d becaus̕e ͋I ̠̍hav̢e a ce̐rtaͮin f̝́́é̝́t̝́́í̝́ś̝́h̝́́, ̦but̤ ͮI ͑c̉an tak̸̫e care͒ of thes̤͓e ͚̉u̡rġes ̆my͝seͅlf. I͞ ͥc̃onsid᷊er myself᷇ a̘ͦͦs̘ͦͦe̘ͦͦx̘ͦͦu̘ͦͦa̘ͦͦl̘ͦͦ fo̫̪r t᷁hese rea᷅sǒ̝̈́ns.̲̐0000000000000000000000000000_

Guru Meditation Error

Ë ËcË Ë Ë m3 Ë ËË 97sËc Ë Ë Ë90125dË Ë ; XjË Ë ËcË Ë Ë m3 Ë ËË 97sËc Ë Ë Ë90125dË Ë ; XjËË ËcË Ë Ë m3 Ë ËË 97sËc Ë Ë Ë90125dË Ë ; XjËË ËcË Ë Ë m3 Ë ËË 97sËc Ë Ë Ë90125dË Ë ; XjËË ËcË Ë Ë m3 Ë ËË 97sËc Ë Ë Ë90125dË Ë ; XjËË ËcË Ë Ë m3 Ë ËË 97sËc Ë Ë Ë90125dË Ë ; XjË​


----------



## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

Wasn't entirely sure how to answer this.

I have a high sex drive, so I need a sexual relationship.

However, I'm also poly, and I can imagine a multiple relationship that includes an asexual partner. I just wouldn't be satisfied in a _monogamous_ relationship with someone who doesn't want to have sex. If they're open to poly relationships then I don't see it as an obstacle as long as all the other feelings are there.

I'm a very affectionate person, so they'd have to be okay with lots of hugging and cuddling. If they aren't, they won't be very happy being in a relationship with me.


----------



## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Let me ask a counter-question (for the OP). Assuming you were to get into a relationship with someone who was OK with not having actual sex with their partner, would you be OK with it if they felt the need to masturbate to relieve their sexual desires?


----------



## Nikoru (Dec 23, 2015)

Always called myself pansexual. More specifically, I guess I would be a panromantic asexual.

But, I will have sex if the significant other wants to.


----------



## naptime (Aug 20, 2015)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Your opinion is wrong in many cases, if people have varying sex drives it makes sense that some people would fall on either extreme. Also for a lot of people it's more about sexual attraction. Imagine having sex with someone you're not attracted to at all. Some asexual people will do sexual stuff for their partners sake or to try it out, but won't enjoy it. Easy for me to understand because I've done that, though I'm not asexual. Mostly meh mixed with scientific curiosity.


I'll be honest, I'm not too sure what you're trying to say here.

No matter how high or low someones sex drive is they should still feel a sexual desire towards their partner.. Assuming they are with that person because they are emotionally and physically attracted to them. If that person is only emotionally attracted to their partner, like asexual people then you might have a point. But then that brings up the question as to why someone is asexual. I know very little about the topic but from what I've heard is that they make up less then 1% (I could be wrong) of the population and some choose to be asexual while others might have been born that way. So aside from the one's that were born with zero desire for sex (I'm assuming it's a chemical issue in the brain) everyone should have some level of sexual desire. Like I said, it's just natural and we're already preprogrammed to want it.


----------



## ethericbody (Feb 22, 2016)

For me personally, sex is not necessary at all, as long as there are other forms of intimacy. There needs to be hugging, kissing, snuggling, etc.


----------



## Ai (Oct 13, 2012)

WillYouStopDave said:


> Well, it sounds like you have strong negative feelings about it. Not just an indifference to it. Maybe I'm wrong.
> 
> For example, if I'm dating someone and she likes to have coffee with people she likes and she says "Hey. Would you like to have coffee with me today?" I would probably do it even if it's not the most inspiring thing in the world to me. The only thing I can think of that would make me completely take having coffee off the table would be if I just hate coffee or find it a completely intolerable experience.
> 
> ...


As I said earlier, this has nothing to do with me. My general lack of motivation toward sex as an end all was merely referenced as preface to why I find varying degrees of interest on a spectrum intriguing. I am not wholly _against_ it, it's just not a driving factor and I could live without it. It's also not a soul searching exercise in finding someone with similar values; I'm already in a relationship.

This isn't any deeper or more personal than it looks. lol

(As far as your assumption goes about women not being as enthusiastic as men are on a whole, you'd actually be wrong. It's just not as socially acceptable for women to be open about it. The stigma is _starting_ to wear away, but not without significant resistance. So it's a gradual process.)



WillYouStopDave said:


> Let me ask a counter-question (for the OP). Assuming you were to get into a relationship with someone who was OK with not having actual sex with their partner, would you be OK with it if they felt the need to masturbate to relieve their sexual desires?


... I would be fine if he masturbated, _regardless_ of our sexual status. I am not the Gatekeeper of Wank. :lol


----------



## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

To be brutally honest, I probably could have a sexless relationship....and this is coming from someone who is probably a borderline sex addict, ffs. I do wonder though...I mean would you really want the relationship to be totally sexless....I mean....completely? Seriously??

I seem to crave the emotional bond and the kissing and touching more than the sex. But there are a whole, whole lot of ways to be sexual.....without having plain vanilla missionary style sex. The last gf I had actually preferred oral (go figure) or to 69. Penetration wasn't uncomfortable, it wasn't painful, but its just not what she liked the most. But omg she loved for me to go down on her....omfg. The sheets would be just....soaked by the time we were done.

Sent from my HTC_Amaze_4G


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

naptime said:


> I'll be honest, I'm not too sure what you're trying to say here.
> 
> No matter how high or low someones sex drive is they should still feel a sexual desire towards their partner.. Assuming they are with that person because they are emotionally and physically attracted to them. If that person is only emotionally attracted to their partner, like asexual people then you might have a point. But then that brings up the question as to why someone is asexual. I know very little about the topic but from what I've heard is that they make up less then 1% (I could be wrong) of the population and some choose to be asexual while others might have been born that way. So aside from the one's that were born with zero desire for sex (I'm assuming it's a chemical issue in the brain) everyone should have some level of sexual desire. Like I said, it's just natural and we're already preprogrammed to want it.


I am talking about asexual people yes, people who have been abused at some point and lost desire later should obviously see a therapist. People who are 'trying to become asexual' aren't asexual. You can't choose to be asexual. Romantic and sexual attraction don't always occur together, easy to see that because some people are sexually attracted to people they don't like and are willing to have sex with people but not a relationship, Some people want sex but have never had a crush. It's literally the inverse of that for romantic asexual people, though some asexual people are not romantically attracted to people too.

I'm not asexual but I have had crushes on people I wasn't sexually attracted to before, physically attracted to but I don't think sexually, I've had lots of crushes like that, and I've also been sexually attracted to people so I know the difference.

@Apoc Revolution how long does it take to create your posts lol? They're cool though (I always have to highlight them in the dark version though cause your font colour's dark.)


----------



## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

impedido10 said:


> I know a girl here who is in a relationship that is assexual. i dont know details


apparently the definition is.... they still like to masturbate, but prefer to keep sexual things / activities to themselves to rather then to share. and are generally not attracted to other people. altho... they can appreciate aesthetic beauty in a person.

what do they whack off to? not sure but i think a lot for the time its aimless, and more centered on the physical sensations more than anything emotional.

probably the guy is asexual too for that to work the best.

orgasms and how they are attained might mean different things for different people. i suppose its an interesting subject.


----------



## Ai (Oct 13, 2012)

TenYears said:


> To be brutally honest, I probably could have a sexless relationship....and this is coming from someone who is probably a borderline sex addict, ffs. I do wonder though...I mean would you really want the relationship to be totally sexless....I mean....completely? Seriously??
> 
> I seem to crave the emotional bond and the kissing and touching more than the sex. But there are a whole, whole lot of ways to be sexual.....without having plain vanilla missionary style sex. The last gf I had actually preferred oral (go figure) or to 69. Penetration wasn't uncomfortable, it wasn't painful, but its just not what she liked the most. But omg she loved for me to go down on her....omfg. The sheets would be just....soaked by the time we were done.
> 
> Sent from my HTC_Amaze_4G


Yeah, I had actually initially intended on being a little less ambiguous and versatile with my specific definitions of "sex" (i.e intercourse/penetration vs erotic touch, oral sex, etc.) However, I'd never created a poll before and was somewhat rushed to do it right. I ended up losing my original intention in the progress. So the results may be a bit more muddled, depending upon specific interpretations. Though regrettable (especially given the potential it has to alienate lesbian couples with their own individual definitions of intercourse vs other forms of sex), it seems best to just continue with the assumption that "sex" here primarily refers to penetrative intercourse and does not _necessarily exclude_ other forms of erotic bonding.

It limits and complicates things a bit, but it doesn't seem I can alter anything now. So. Shrug.

Entirely my bad.


----------



## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

I could not be in a romantic sexless relationship. My sexual frustration would just skyrocket. I'm not a sex addict. I'm not a ****. I don't even have that high of a sex drive.
If I have a partner, I really want to do him as well, not just hang out and talk, like with a friend.
And I could not have sex with others when in a relationship, even if he wanted me to.
And I'm so not the type for "no sex before marriage".


----------



## The Vegan Warrior (Dec 23, 2015)

Yes, 100% necessary. It's not official until it happens and it's over when it stops happening


----------



## Apoc Revolution (Dec 2, 2013)

Persephone The Dread said:


> @Apoc Revolution how long does it take to create your posts lol? They're cool though (I always have to highlight them in the dark version though cause your font colour's dark.)


_99Ha̵, t̋han̾ks̟.͊ It varies, ̾depe̷nding ᷿o͌n̸᷿̹᷂ how͕ long ̷m̭y post ̥i͝s ob᷁vĩo̜̜usly̯̿.̧<<<< It᷾ ̓can ̊takē a feẇ̝ minutes, o͌̄r it ̟can ̬ͨt̸͐a̺̹ke ā͎ whi̥᷂᷇le̘͟. 01x873I͛ ̣play a͓r̭ou̵nd w̘ith̬̆̍ the ģ̠̠ļ̠̠i̧̠̠ţ̠̠ç̠̠ḩ̠̠ ţ̠̠ȩ̠̠x̧̠̠ţ̠̠ ģ̠̠ȩ̠̠ņ̠̠ȩ̠̠ŗ̠̠a̧̠̠ţ̠̠o̧̠̠ŗ̠̠ t͍o^ get ͓̚the̞ͤ̚ desir̥̍e̿d effecẗ́s, bu̯t́ I̍ can't́ go ǫ̼᷾v̷͐͛ȩ͂͢r᷊͒̊b̧̄͒o̐ͭͪa̸̰͠r᷃͂̿d̸̥̿, it st͢il͏̢l hasͦ t̖o̱ be rͪeͪaͪdͪaͪbͪlͪeͪ lol̫̞͉.%; Iͫ felt͜ li̱k͐e s̔p̔i̔c̔i̔n̔g̔ u̔p̔ my ͓͔̥͆ͬcommentin̙̣g stͫyle. It's̲ quͤ͛̽ite a f́͜͜ú͜͜ń͜͜ w̺͙ay tọ ėx̮p͂rͪe᷇s͞s̠ on͘eself, if͠ I do̒ ̞͛s̊᷁a̶y̜̆ͦ ͏̷so myself.95xyz_



KILOBRAVO said:


> apparently the definition is.... they still like to masturbate, but prefer to keep sexual things / activities to themselves to rather then to share. and are generally not attracted to other people. altho... they can appreciate aesthetic beauty in a person.


_Thͪat is͉ ex͐a̪c͎̳̰tlyͭ m͗y᷁ s᷁ituͤati̐on̨͗͢.////// The᷿re ar͢e͚͝ so̧me/// ́whoͥ͘ ̑d͈on't̳ ḿ́ͨ́́̀́́ͨ́́͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟ͅͅͅͅá́ͨ́́̀́́ͨ́́͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟ͅͅͅͅś́ͨ́́̀́́ͨ́́͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟ͅͅͅͅt́́ͨ́́̀́́ͨ́́͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟ͅͅͅͅú́ͨ́́̀́́ͨ́́͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟ͅͅͅͅŕ́ͨ́́̀́́ͨ́́͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟ͅͅͅͅb́́ͨ́́̀́́ͨ́́͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟ͅͅͅͅá́ͨ́́̀́́ͨ́́͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟ͅͅͅͅt́́ͨ́́̀́́ͨ́́͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟ͅͅͅͅé͙́ͨ́́̀́́ͨ́́͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟͟ͅͅͅͅ tͦhoug̈́ḣ.9025a00000000_


----------



## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Ai said:


> (As far as your assumption goes about women not being as enthusiastic as men are on a whole, you'd actually be wrong. It's just not as socially acceptable for women to be open about it. The stigma is _starting_ to wear away, but not without significant resistance. So it's a gradual process.)


 Well, it is an assumption but it is an assumption that is based upon 40 years of being alive as a man. Having seen a lot (There's not really a better way to compress 40 years of observations into a forum post), I just don't think the majority of women are all that enthusiastic about sex publicly or behind the scenes. And that's fine. I don't really care. I'm just saying people should be honest. Whatever the truth is, I think people either can handle it or will have to get used to it. But I think there has to be more to it if you want to be in a real relationship without sex. I'm no shrink but ask a shrink. I don't know what else to say about it.

But like I said, I don't get how you could kiss someone you're attracted to and not want to have sex right there unless you just basically don't have a sex drive. Even with my very much reduced sex drive I'd be raring and ready to go after about 15 seconds of kissing someone I found very attractive.

But I guess that could just be a difference in how male arousal happens. I don't know what does it for women (or other men for that matter).

Anyway, it's very not socially acceptable for men to be open about sex. Ask any man how eager society is to be socially accepting of his openness about sex. Many men are open about it despite getting hit with a tidal wave of negativity every single time, losing jobs because of it, having a bad reputation because of it and all sorts of things that people generally don't like to have happen to them.


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

I would prefer/require a relationship without sex. To be honest, I'm not even sure I could handle any other physical stuff like cuddling and kissing, since physical contact freaks me out.  (Part of me thinks cuddling--NOT kissing--would be nice, but when merely a hug from a friend makes me stiffen like a board... :sigh )

I can't even make/keep platonic friends due to needing us to have a lot in common before I can be motivated enough to keep communicating--apparently, such compatible people don't exist. So, getting a relationship with both that AND no sex?--no guy on Earth would agree to that. And I could not tolerate the guy going outside the relationship for sex, yet I could also never expect him to just forgo (sic?) something so important to most people, it'd be dreadfully unfair to him and eventually he'd resent me.

Which is how I know I'm always going to be alone. Nobody wants a fat, boring, avoidant, unattractive, asexual cow. -_-


----------



## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

tehuti88 said:


> Nobody wants a fat, boring, avoidant, unattractive, asexual cow. -_-


...smart, kind, creative woman.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Wouldn't it make more sense to just have strong friendships with people if you don't want to have sex? Why would it have to be a relationship?


----------



## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

naptime said:


> I could not even begin to imagine being in a long term relationship and not having or wanting sex. It's just pure human instinct to want it. From a scientific view point it's the whole purpose of any living creature, find a mate and reproduce. My opinion is that if someone is in a serious relationship and has no interest in sex they either have some deep hidden issues, have convinced themselves it's not important or maybe are a virgin and don't know what they're missing


Just a little something about the instinct thing and the purpose of being a living creature.

I kinda see it as evolution being a series of survival experiments (individuals) chucked out and the ones which survive do best. But its complicated because you can get some experiments (such as, for example) asexuality which won't directly result in the individual reproducing. But they still remain in the gene pool of the species, why?

Its because selection occurs at the gene level (at least to some extent). That is, it can still be beneficial for the individual genes reproduction even if those genes play a part in creating an asexual. This can be because they produce another more powerful effect (say, the genes for asexuality are also involved with intelligence or something, and only create an asexual in rare cases), or because they somehow help identical copies of the same genes elsewhere (e.g. in siblings).

Just kinda saying that evolution will throw out all kinds of variations w.r.t. sex drive and preference, even those with literally zero sex drive and it can be still be in line with 'the purpose' of existing.

That an individual exists at all (_whatever_ that individual is like) means its perfectly in line with 'the purpose' because its genes made it this far.

Sorry, probably too off topic though


----------



## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

I can't imagine a life without sex.


----------



## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

Re the topic, if I were up for a relationship I would probably be ok if it were sexless. I am not even sure if I would be ok with it actually having sex in. Or if I could do a relationship at all these days. Literally no clue about anything :lol


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

AngelClare said:


> ...smart, kind, creative woman.


Even if they were true, none of those things are enough for a guy to want a relationship with such a woman.


----------



## inane (Oct 21, 2013)

When I'm romantically interested in a guy, I also desire him sexually. It doesn't have to be like everyday... But just saying. If I'm attracted, I want him.


----------



## Meanderer (Apr 2, 2013)

While I think I could be in a relationship without sex, I would avoid dating someone with those preferences in the first place. If it was something that happened during the course of a relationship(ie. medical issue), I would just deal with it through other forms of contact.


----------



## Pips (Feb 19, 2016)

As I'm still a virgin who passed by a few opportunities in life due to wanting to make "my first time be something special", I can't give a clear-cut answer as my moral stance on such a belief has been dwindling. I'm fine with no penetrative sex in a relationship. As long as she doesn't mind that I watch porn.

I'm more of a guy who's into non-penetrative sex and sensual bonding, so penetrative sex I can easily live without if my partner is uncomfortable with it. 
If she's fine with penetrative sex, I'm cool with that too.

That said, I mostly look for other things in my partners such as whether or not we are like-minded and can get along well, as I really want my next relationship to be my last (hopefully).


----------



## Rains (Jan 20, 2016)

komorikun said:


> Wouldn't it make more sense to just have strong friendships with people if you don't want to have sex? Why would it have to be a relationship?


I guess they want the romance. But tough finding a partner since most people won't do romance without sex.


----------



## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

How many saying it's not necessary take care of business themselves?


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## regimes (Aug 24, 2011)

i think it's perfectly fine for anyone to not want sex (and not be asexual or have problems with their libido) and i'm sure there are others out there that would be fine with a relationship without sex. 

personally though i am pretty sexual and crave the intimacy and the pleasure of sex. i don't think i could have a relationship without sex. 

that said i wouldn't want anyone to be doing sexual things with me if they didn't want to.  please if you're not totally interested in sex but your partner is tell them!!!!


----------



## regimes (Aug 24, 2011)

splendidbob said:


> Just a little something about the instinct thing and the purpose of being a living creature.
> 
> I kinda see it as evolution being a series of survival experiments (individuals) chucked out and the ones which survive do best. But its complicated because you can get some experiments (such as, for example) asexuality which won't directly result in the individual reproducing. But they still remain in the gene pool of the species, why?
> 
> ...












someone using science and critical thinking in a thread about social situations is my JAM.


----------



## SaladDays (Nov 26, 2013)

I guess I can go on without sex my entire life so long as I'm with a partner I have feelings for but that just sounds like a life of wasted opportunity for the both of us


----------



## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

Ai said:


> f it meant you would be foregoing sex?


I'm sure some judgmental ***** is going to criticize me for this but whatever. My feeling is, I wouldn't stay with someone who expected such a unilateral sacrifice to date them. Even if this person doesn't want to have sex or is asexual or whatever, why are they dating me if they're so disgusted by me and my sexuality that they can't even compromise on it? Like some others said, I expect to die a virgin at this point, but that doesn't mean that if I did get a partner I'd let her walk all over me and treat me as though my needs don't matter.

I wouldn't want an open relationship and I wouldn't cheat, if she wasn't having sex with me then it's clear that she doesn't really care, and I'd just go back to being single.


----------



## apx24 (Jan 31, 2012)

I could have a romantic relationship without sex, but I'd probably need to jack off to porn.


----------



## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

Yes, it's necessary. Though I wouldn't feel the need for sex every single day, other forms of affection only can do so much. Bonding in other ways can only fill the glass so far, you see? Sex is more of a deeper connection...and I'd want to go as far as possible into the realm of becoming intertwined as a single person.


----------



## HilarityEnsues (Oct 4, 2012)

I'm in the same boat. I see sex as a perk of being in a relationship. Everyone else seems to act like sex is what makes the earth spin in its axis. 

It makes it hard to find someone because it seems EVERYONE does FWB and one nighters now. That's a deal breaker for me. People who are into that do to because they want sex without a dealing with the ups and downs of a relationship. Therefore they don't have what it takes to be in one.

So I like everyone enjoy sex, but it's not necessary to keep me happy in a relationship.


----------



## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

I really have no idea, I barely even know what I want.

I mean yeah I like sex (well at least watching people have sex) but I just don't really know simply because iv'e never had a girlfriend before and iv'e pretty much gone my whole life without sex already.

So I don't really know.


----------



## Ai (Oct 13, 2012)

tehuti88 said:


> Which is how I know I'm always going to be alone. Nobody wants a fat, boring, avoidant, unattractive, asexual cow. -_-





AngelClare said:


> ...smart, kind, creative woman.


:agree

Also, I know it might feel that way, but it's not written in stone.  Just judging from your posts on SAS alone, I think it's clear that you have a lot to offer another person, in whatever relationship capacity best suitable. The finding game is always the worst, but there _are_ so many wonderful variations of fascinating and unique people out there. It's one of the few beauties humanity actually has to offer.

Ps. Don't let anyone convince you that you can't be beautiful, intriguing, and an all around valuable human being on the basis of something so arbitrary as how much space your body takes up. It's toxic, self-gratifying nonsense.



komorikun said:


> Wouldn't it make more sense to just have strong friendships with people if you don't want to have sex? Why would it have to be a relationship?


 @Rains basically answered this, but I'd like to elaborate a little bit. Sexuality operates on a spectrum, as does asexuality. Some asexuals legitimately do not experience sexual attraction or desire, however these same people are not also necessarily aromantic. This means that they still crave close, romantic bonds with other humans. They just don't want sex. It also doesn't necessarily mean they won't be willing to compromise for the sake of their partner, if that's what said partner wants (some can, some can't.) But they're not getting the same thing out of it.

It basically boils down to what the individual people in each individual relationship value and need and whether those values and needs are compatible. Some people are perfectly content and able to express romantic feelings without sex entirely, some in only certain kinds of sex, while others prefer to be diverse and varied in their affections (including any number of different kinds of sex.) Human sexuality is a pretty complex and interesting thing. 



regimes said:


> please if you're not totally interested in sex but your partner is tell them!!!!


Completely agree! Communication is 100% the most important part of any kind of relationship: romantic, sexual, or platonic entirely. :yes



splendidbob said:


> Just kinda saying that evolution will throw out all kinds of variations w.r.t. sex drive and preference, even those with literally zero sex drive and it can be still be in line with 'the purpose' of existing.
> 
> That an individual exists at all (_whatever_ that individual is like) means its perfectly in line with 'the purpose' because its genes made it this far.


:clap :clap :clap



Wings of Amnesty said:


> I'm sure some judgmental ***** is going to criticize me for this but whatever. My feeling is, I wouldn't stay with someone who expected such a unilateral sacrifice to date them. Even if this person doesn't want to have sex or is asexual or whatever, *why are they dating me if they're so disgusted by me and my sexuality that they can't even compromise on it?* Like some others said, I expect to die a virgin at this point, but *that doesn't mean that if I did get a partner I'd let her walk all over me and treat me as though my needs don't matter. *
> 
> I wouldn't want an open relationship and I wouldn't cheat, *if she wasn't having sex with me then it's clear that she doesn't really care*, and I'd just go back to being single.


Holy crud, guy. You really like to... go for the gold when it comes to elevating things to levels that didn't exist previously. Goodness gracious. I'm sorry you're filled with so much anger. Sincerely.

At the risk of making you initially even angrier, however, something that needs to be said is this:

* It's not about you. Everything, by necessity, can't be.*

It is. But it isn't. If you're dating an asexual woman and she decides she isn't comfortable having sex with you, it's because she doesn't want to have sex. With you, or with _anyone._ It doesn't mean she's "disgusted" by you. It also does not mean she doesn't care about you--it simply means she cares in _ her own way._ The fact that you two wouldn't agree on how to display meaningful affection makes it clear that the relationship obviously would not be optimal due to sheer compatibility issues, but that's on neither her nor you--unless you make it so. People love differently. It's just a fact. It works in some cases, it doesn't in others. That's life. And it's fine.

If you think a woman refusing to do something she isn't comfortable with, just because you petulantly demand it, qualifies as "walking all over you," however... Then. Well. Yeah. That's on you, bro. And you might stay a virgin for a while.

_Anyway_. Thanks for the vote. 

#ResidentJudgmental*****



xxDark Horse said:


> I really have no idea, I barely even know what I want.
> 
> I mean yeah I like sex (well at least watching people have sex) but I just don't really know simply because iv'e never had a girlfriend before and iv'e pretty much gone my whole life without sex already.
> 
> So I don't really know.


That's fair.


----------



## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

Yes. I'd definitely need sex. If truly had romantic feelings towards someone, I would imagine it being incredibly frustrating not being able to express myself sexually. 

It's fun and exciting to explore sex with someone. I don't see how someone can possibly have a truly 'romantic' relationship without it. Otherwise, it would just be a close friendship.


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

At my age, it would be nice. I have a lot of time to make up for :wink!!! :haha


----------



## Acheron Black (Mar 14, 2016)

Men typically feel a sense of intimacy with their partner by physically expressing that intimacy, while women are more fulfilled by the emotional, mind aspect of intimacy. It's just how the genders are programmed, blame evolution.


----------



## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

i'm not asexual... so no, not unless its part some sort of super unlikely polyamorous thing where i can have sex with someone else that i love...


----------



## Unforgiven17 (Apr 15, 2016)

Hmmm... this has really got me thinking. I voted that a relationship has to involve sex. It doesn't suggest how frequently. Sometimes a feel like it... sometimes it can be a while! But I certainly couldn't be with someone where sex was off limits. 

I guess this is my own opinion but... is it a romantic relationship without sex? I really don't mean to offend anyone and I'm sure people have different opinions but, for me, I wouldn't class it as a proper relationship if it didn't involve sex. I would begin to doubt the relationship and need to move on.


----------



## hmnut (Aug 8, 2011)

I was in a relationship with a strict asexual (she didn't even like kissing... I mean even a peck on the lips). It's really hard, I would not recommend it for someone unless they are asexual.


----------



## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

My reasoning is this- if you're in a serious long-term relationship with someone, you're probably aiming for it to last a lifetime, or at least several years. I mean, obviously, perhaps you shouldn't EXPECT it to, and should be prepared for it to end at some point, but still, that's generally why you get into a seriously emotionally committed relationship, and not just "friends with benefits" or casual dating. So, if you're with someone who doesn't like/want sex, you're essentially accepting that there's a big chance that you will never have sex for the rest of your life again. 

Even if they do agree to have sex with you, it will probably be rarely, and the fact that they wouldn't enjoy it would make me feel dirty and like a horrible person, and take away almost all but the bare minimum of sexual pleasure out of it. And leaving the relationship "open" in the sense of being allowed to seek sex outside the relationship while maintaining the emotional connection just feels like a (very clumsy) bandage on the wound. When I have a romantic emotional attachment to someone, it's personally hard for me to think of other people when it comes to sex. I mean, you can at the end of the day, but it's just nothing compared to the desire you have for your partner. Not to mention, there's no guarantee you can FIND someone willing to have sex with you outside the relationship in the first place. 

And finally, I'd question WHY they were so unwilling to have sex with me. Did they not find me physically attractive? Are they asexual? Do they have some medical issue? Are they...cheating on me? All those are legitimate questions, considering most people want sex pretty damn bad.

I guess there are some extreme case exceptions where I'd stick by, like if we were already dating and she ended up paralysed below her legs somehow, but overall, I'd consider not wanting sex in a relationship too much of an incompatibility to enter a relationship with such a person in the first place.


----------



## cak (Oct 22, 2012)

I'm female, and I could have a romantic relationship without sex


----------



## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

I'm a male and need to have sex with my partner. I wouldn't bother with a sexless relationship.


----------



## Batcat (Nov 19, 2014)

I could be in a relationship with a girl with a low libido, even though mine is probably high, but no sex at all? I don't think I could do that. I'd feel like there's something missing.


----------



## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

tehuti88 said:


> Even if they were true, none of those things are enough for a guy to want a relationship with such a woman.


Men like aggressive women, even if they deny it.

---

As for the question. Well, since I live it every day, yes, I can have a long-term relationship with someone without sex.

Pets on the other hand...


----------



## Miach (Mar 29, 2016)

If I was with someone I love, then sex would not be necessary. Just being in the presence of that person would be enough. Although I would prefer to have sex, I would make that sacrifice to be with someone I love.


----------



## k_wifler (Sep 27, 2006)

I'm waiting for a woman who's attractive and can convince me she'll never leave me no matter what.

Right now, keep your frumpy clothes on, don't get into any provocative positions, and definitely don't squeeze too hard when hugging, and I might be okay with going without...
But breaking any of those conditions would mean instant on, and that would build up some serious crazy tension really fast.
As a physically stereotypical male, I'm just a sex machine, doesn't matter how often or how long you need it, I will do it. Even if it kills me. The more the merrier. All day long.

The way I see it, since I'll be 30 soon, we will probably have a good 10 years of extremely awesome times.
Once we both start drying up and getting old, sure, why would I expect any more than cuddling? I just want a loyal friend for always at that age.

Also, my requirements for a girl being skinny are conditional. If she wants a kid, I'm fine with the huge belly. Once we're old and can't hack it anymore, I don't really care what she looks like, as long as she's nice to me and still likes me for me.

So yeah, for us to get together, show me a picture of you at your best. You can run around with greasy hair, terrible fashion sense, and no makeup all you want and it won't phase me a bit.


----------



## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

No way I could be in a sexless relationship, it's one of the critical components to a happy one for me. Medical issues aside, there has to be something wrong in the relationship for sex to never be on the table.


----------



## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

Why are so many old threads getting bumped, I don't wanna read and post in threads I already finished with.


----------



## catcharay (Sep 15, 2011)

It's not necessary for me. Emotional sense of togetherness is much better. Hugging, cuddling, touching can produce oxycontin too and I like to feel outside the realm of sex there is a deeper bond so you don't have to rely on that component. Looking at aged couples for example..


----------



## Bbpuff (Sep 1, 2010)

I could... But why would I want too?


----------



## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

For a long-term committed relationship, I'd probably be close to requiring it. Granted, if I really deeply cared about her and she had emotional scars from past sexual experiences, by no means would I pressure her into it or dump her to the curb if everything else was peachy. I'd try to make it work...though, admittedly I'd probably get a bit frustrated sexually. I think it's pretty necessary for long-term though.


----------



## eukz (Nov 3, 2013)

Wow.. I always require sex when I have a SO, or else I bounce.


----------



## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

Even having a high sex drive, at this point it isn't necessary. Never been in a relationship like that so I can't say for sure how long it'd last. If we were sleeping together and she was naked in front of me I'd probably be pulling hairs out. Since I shave my head, I'd have to pull them out from someplace else.


----------



## TranquilityLane (Mar 22, 2016)

Humanity, slave to their genes. Reproduct only with the best or only have sex with the ones who have the better genes.
This simple fact will doom humanity.


----------



## TranquilityLane (Mar 22, 2016)

Sacrieur said:


> *Men like aggressive women, even if they deny it.*
> 
> ---
> 
> ...


Reflecting much?


----------



## Aloof Sensualist (Feb 8, 2016)

I could have a romantic relationship without sex as long as there were other forms of physical intimacy. Sex is not a primary concern of mine. I fantasize more about things like talking and cuddling than I do about sex.


----------



## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

TranquilityLane said:


> Humanity, slave to their genes. Reproduct only with the best or only have sex with the ones who have the better genes.
> This simple fact will doom humanity.


Wouldn't that prevent humans from de-evolving and allow us to continue to advance our intelligence by picking the healthiest mates?


----------



## Unforgiven17 (Apr 15, 2016)

The votings very interesting on here, twice as many females could have a relationship without sex compared to those that need sex. Whereas it's the opposite with makes.

I never really believed there was such a stereotypical answer to this question i.e other forms of intimacy are more important for women.

I stand corrected!


----------



## TranquilityLane (Mar 22, 2016)

McFly said:


> Wouldn't that prevent humans from de-evolving and allow us to continue to advance our intelligence by picking the healthiest mates?


At first thought this sounds like the resonable conclusion but if you think further about it, you will realize that in the long term this will lead to the annihilation of this species, the seemingly eternal fight for the continuation of the "best" genes, paired with the ability to build ever more destructive weapons than before.


----------



## East (Jul 22, 2013)

i don't like sex so we don't have it it's easy


----------



## 8888 (Oct 16, 2014)

If a couple is happy without it that is their choice. Others like it. I personally don't think I ever want to have sex (I'm female).


----------



## k_wifler (Sep 27, 2006)

Unforgiven17 said:


> The votings very interesting on here, twice as many females could have a relationship without sex compared to those that need sex. Whereas it's the opposite with makes.
> 
> I never really believed there was such a stereotypical answer to this question i.e other forms of intimacy are more important for women.
> 
> I stand corrected!


There are A LOT A LOT A LOT of very submissive women in the world who don't really want to have sex, but it's just such an easy way to satisfy their man. They end up having a lot of children, some of which will grow up to be girls just like them...

Just like only one of two has to give birth, only one of two really has to want sex and try to get it. Look at four legged animals as well. The males go up behind the females, the females don't really seem all that concerned or interested, but it gets the job done, babies are born.


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

k_wifler said:


> There are A LOT A LOT A LOT of very submissive women in the world who don't really want to have sex, but it's just such an easy way to satisfy their man. They end up having a lot of children, some of which will grow up to be girls just like them...
> 
> Just like only one of two has to give birth, only one of two really has to want sex and try to get it. Look at four legged animals as well. The males go up behind the females, the females don't really seem all that concerned or interested, but it gets the job done, babies are born.


Not really I think most of those women either want children or are poorly educated, other women use protection or have and/or have an abortion.

Also most women want sex, you're implying a lot don't but that's not really true. People who don't are actually a minority that I would imagine will be overrepresented on a website like this for reasons.

Women are pickier about who they have sex with, because they don't want sex for the sake of it very often, but with someone they are very attracted to.


----------



## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

k_wifler said:


> There are A LOT A LOT A LOT of very submissive women in the world who don't really want to have sex, but it's just such an easy way to satisfy their man. They end up having a lot of children, some of which will grow up to be girls just like them...
> 
> Just like only one of two has to give birth, only one of two really has to want sex and try to get it. Look at four legged animals as well. The males go up behind the females, the females don't really seem all that concerned or interested, but it gets the job done, babies are born.





East said:


> i don't like sex so we don't have it it's easy


You're doing it wrong, :lol


----------



## thomasjune (Apr 7, 2012)

For me it's necessary in a romantic relationship. If there's no sex then we may as well just be good friends. 
But no cuddling or touching cause I may get the wrong idea and then I'll come off like the bad guy who can't control himself.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

If there never was sex, not sure. If sex has already been established, it would be hurtful if it stopped.

Supposedly, a female trait is to associate sex with affection. *shrug*


----------



## Beatnik (Jul 12, 2011)

From tv shows, films, etc. I have made the assumption that women don't like sex and they only do it for money or because they feel that it's their duty as being a girlfriend/wife. So "if" i had a girlfriend, i could never have a sex with her, because i would feel like a rapist (seriously). Of course I'm also afraid of women and sex, so I couldn't do it anyway. 

I'm amazed how little most men are afraid of having sex with women, they can totally humiliate you or suddenly accuse you of raping on the next day. One bad sexual intercourse with a woman could ruin your whole life. And how do you all know you can satisfy your woman in bed? What if she just doesn't want to hurt your feelings? How you can be sure you are "big" enough? What if she doesn't want to have sex, but only does it because she loves you? 

I'm not asexual, but my main qualification (I know I don't have right to have qualifications) for a girlfriend would be asexuality. I would love to spend a rest of my life with a woman and never take clothes off.


----------



## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

Yes, sex is absolutely necessary.


----------



## eukz (Nov 3, 2013)

I'm starting to believe that most of the females who voted for the 2nd option are bullsh¡tting. Those numbers really don't make sense :lol


----------



## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

eukz said:


> I'm starting to believe that most of the females who voted for the 2nd option are bullsh¡tting. Those numbers really don't make sense :lol


I don't know, it seems consistent with what I know about women.


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Sacrieur said:


> Men like aggressive women, even if they deny it.


This is another trait I lack, unfortunately. :/



Beatnik said:


> From tv shows, films, etc. I have made the assumption that women don't like sex and they only do it for money or because they feel that it's their duty as being a girlfriend/wife.


I wouldn't base my impressions of what women want on popular media...the entertainment industry's job is to be entertaining, not accurate. Most women enjoy sex quite a lot. (And this post is coming from an asexual, so it's not like I'm biased.)



eukz said:


> I'm starting to believe that most of the females who voted for the 2nd option are bullsh¡tting. Those numbers really don't make sense :lol


I wish I were BS'ing about my vote. It'd mean I'd have at least a tiny shot at a relationship. :/


----------



## eukz (Nov 3, 2013)

Wings of Amnesty said:


> I don't know, it seems consistent with what I know about women.


Maybe they're all bullsh¡tting too? :lol

I still don't get it. A relationship without sex sounds like the most boring and contradictory thing ever...


----------



## nothing else (Oct 27, 2013)

At first I saw non-binary and I was look ooh chemistry. Then I had to simmer the nerdiness that was effervescing.


----------



## AllTheSame (Mar 19, 2016)

I agree with what's been said in so far as, imo, most women do want sex. I don't know where the stereotype comes from that women think sex is an obligation or something "owed" to a partner or is just an easy way to satisfy them. That's def not been my experience. Maybe it is Hollywood, idk.

I was married to my ex-wife for quite a few years and she wanted sex to be a part of our relationship _*at least*_ as much as I did, maybe more, and I've always had a pretty high sex drive. I think if I wasn't willing to make sex part of our relationship, it would've been a huge, huge problem. Our problems were never in the bedroom though. We went through a really nasty divorce, but both of us will admit sex and intimacy was not where our problems were. It was outside the bedroom lol.


----------



## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

theloneleopard said:


> THIS.
> 
> Shocked that so many females responded that they could do without!
> 
> I wonder how many are on antidepressants...


I think it's because they feel they can be satisfied with a passionate experience and don't necessarily need as much the mechanics of actual intercourse. I have no idea what goes on in women's heads so I'm just throwing this out there.


----------



## Stilla (May 13, 2009)

I... just could not do it at all. I'm fine not having sex outside of a relationship, but not having it when you're IN one, that'd just feel like constant rejection. 

I am a bit jealous of other women who could.


----------



## The Starry night (May 23, 2015)

Yeh. In a romantic relationship I'd do it everyday.


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Stilla said:


> I... just could not do it at all. I'm fine not having sex outside of a relationship, but not having it when you're IN one, that'd just feel like constant rejection.
> 
> I am a bit jealous of other women who could.


There isn't much to feel jealous of, most people seem to consider us to be defective/weird or else lying. :/

...I really don't mean this to sound as bitter as it probably does...just that threads like this always confirm my fears and make me feel even more broken. :sigh


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

It becomes a requirement at some point.


----------



## jonjagger (Dec 26, 2015)

buttsex is essential to mutual happiness


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

I have increasingly found it to not be the case within the context that I have grown to affix much less importance to it outside of a romantic union. In other words, I'm done caring for it unless I have a strong connection with the girl. In all other instances, it's far easier to just bust one out whenever you feel a need to. And even if you don't, nature will fix that for you with nocturnal emissions.


----------



## k_wifler (Sep 27, 2006)

What is romance anyways? What makes a relationship romantic? Romance, or being exclusive, or what?
*How about someone create the same poll for ROMANCE instead of SEX?
*I'm sure the families who colonized the west US had very boring, dull, solitary, romanceless lives together out in the middle of nowhere. Couped up all day with nothing to do but clean house and till the field all day every day except in winter when you only go outside to pee in the out house.

Yeah, so, I didn't want to make the poll for is romance absolutely necessary in a relationship.
Someone do it.
@Ai,


----------



## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

there is no such thing as a sexless relationship. even if you're single you still have the sexual relation you have with yourself. in fact that relationship you have with yourself is the longest one you'll ever have. so if you have urges of any kind and they are satisfied by anyone else or yourself, than sexual relief of any sort is necessary if you suffer physically or emotionally without that relief .

plus I've read about aesexuals. they also have the need to. Sexual relief is still usually required for them too. but they have no desire to share it and their sexual motivations are usually aimless.


----------



## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Unforgiven17 said:


> The votings very interesting on here, twice as many females could have a relationship without sex compared to those that need sex. Whereas it's the opposite with makes.
> 
> I never really believed there was such a stereotypical answer to this question i.e other forms of intimacy are more important for women.
> 
> I stand corrected!


Yea things like this are surprising. I'm still reeling that being raped is a top female fantasy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

I voted: "_I'm male, and I could have a romantic relationship without sex"
_
I kind of don't give a **** whether or not a woman wants sex from me in a relationship. I would not even know where to begin in the first place, so I do not worry about it. If I need to get rid of those urges, I just masturbate once in a while. Not a big deal on my end.


----------



## jim_morrison (Aug 17, 2008)

..


----------



## Enkidu (Nov 30, 2015)

Ai said:


> Would you be willing to date someone (long term) who you were able to care about deeply, with whom you were able to share a significant and deep emotional bond--if it meant you would be foregoing sex? Could you be "romantic" without intercourse?


For me, sexual intimacy is one and the same with emotional closeness. My sex drive is relative, but if I feel safe (to show my inner core), admire and respect my partner, and feel there is long-term potential, then my drive increases because I want to stay as connected as I can to that person. The two change in degrees and depth proportionately with the amount of affection and respect between partners. Couples in mid- to late life that have little to no sex-life have neglected to maintain this essential balance of power (read: sex roles), equality, and heartfelt love for each other. Based on my experience and what I've read, men and women are designed for sex - sexual stages are etched into identity right from fetal development in the womb - and meet very basic psychological and emotional needs from healthy expression of those urges. The ethologist Desmond Morris categorizes 10 types of sex in _Human Zoo_ ( 2, 3, and 4 match the OP's topic):

1. PROCREATION SEX 


> There can be argument that this is the most basic function of sexual behavior. It has sometimes been mistakenly argues that it is the only natural and therefore proper role. Paradoxically, some of the religious groups that claim this do not practice what this preach, monks, nuns and many priests denying themselves the very activity which they hold to be so uniquely natural.


2. *PAIR-FORMATION SEX*


> The human animal is basically and biologically a pair-forming species. As the emotional relationship develops between a pair of potential mates it is aided and abetted by the sexual activities they share. The pair-formation function of sexual behavior is so important for our species that nowhere outside the pairing phase do sexual activities regularly reach such a high intensity.


3. *PAIR-MAINTENANCE SEX* 


> Once a pair-bond has been successfully formed, sexual activities still function to maintain and reinforce the bond. Although these activities may become more elaborate and extensive, they usually become less intensive than those of the pair-forming stage, because the pair-forming function is no longer operating.


4. *PHYSIOLOGICAL SEX*


> In the healthy adult human male and female there is a basic physiological requirement for repeated sexual consummation. Without such consummation, a physiological tension builds up and eventually the body demands relief. Any sexual act that involves an orgasm provides the orgasmic individual with this relief. Even if copulation fails to fulfill any of the other nine functions of sexual behavior, it can at least satisfy this basic physiological need.


5. EXPLORATORY SEX


> One of man's greatest qualities is his inventiveness. In all probability our monkey ancestors were already endowed with a reasonably high level of curiosity; it is a characteristic of the whole primate group. However, when our early human ancestors took to hunting, they undoubtedly had to develop and strengthen this quality and magnify their basic urge to explore all the details of their environment.


6. SELF-REWARDING SEX 


> It is impossible to draw up a complete list of the functions of sex without including a category based on the idea that there is a thing as 'sex for sex's sake'; sexual behavior, the performance of which brings its own reward, regardless of any other consideration. The function is closely related to the last one, but they are nevertheless distinct.


7. OCCUPATIONAL SEX 


> This is sex operating as occupational therapy, or, if you prefer, as an anti-boredom device. It is closely related to the last category, but again can be clearly distinguished from it. There is difference between having spare time and being bored. Self-rewarding sex can occur as just one of many ways of constructively utilizing the spare time available.


8. TRANQUILIZING SEX


> Just as the nervous system cannot tolerate gross inactivity, so it rebels against the strains of excessive over-activity. Tranquilizing sex is the other side of the coin from occupational sex. Instead of being anti-boredom, it is anti-turmoil. When faced with an overdose of strange, conflicting, unfamiliar or frightening stimuli, the individual seeks escape in the performance of friendly old familiar patterns that serve to calm his shattered nerves.


9. COMMERCIAL SEX


> Prostitution has already been mentioned, but only from the point of view of the customer. For the prostitute herself the function of copulation is different. Subsidiary factors may be operating, but primarily and overwhelmingly it is straightforward and commercial transaction. Commercial sex of a kind also figures as an important function in many marriage situations, where one-sided pair-bond exists: one partner simply provides a copulatory service for the other in exchange for money and shelter. The provider who has developed a true pair-bond has to accept a mock one in return.


10. STATUS SEX 


> With this, the final functional category of sexual behavior, we enter a strange world, full of unexpected developments and ramifications. Status sex infiltrates and pervades our lives in many hidden and unrecognized ways. It is concerned with dominance, not with reproduction, and to understand how this link is forged we must consider the differing roles of the sexual female and the sexual male. Although a full expression of sexuality involves the active participation of both sexes, it is nevertheless true to say that, for the mammalian female, the sexual role is essentially a submissive one, and for the male it is essentially an aggressive one.


----------



## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

you're joking right? 

Of course...


----------

