# Gonna approach a girl on Monday...tips?



## PressOnBrah (Feb 23, 2014)

Never approached a girl before. Never really had even an intimate conversation with any girl. I'm in college, and I'll probably just approach a random (hot) girl I walk by on campus.

Any tips?

I know the basics like ask her name, what year she is, what her major is, what she wants to do with that major, but after that, I'm lost (plus, even saying those would make me feel like I was interrogating her).

How long should I talk to her before asking for her number? How do I follow up while making her remember me? (I'm afraid that I'd text her and she wouldn't remember me)

What would I even talk about if I set up a date? I suck at conversation...


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## PressOnBrah (Feb 23, 2014)

No one here has ever approached a girl?


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## rambo (Nov 14, 2010)

Wait until 10 mins to ask for her number or ask when you feel you two have enough rapport.
Don't ask alot of question. It is not an interview.
Dont expect a bad or good outcome.


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## PressOnBrah (Feb 23, 2014)

rambo said:


> Wait until 10 mins to ask for her number or ask when you feel you two have enough rapport.
> Don't ask alot of question. It is not an interview.
> Dont expect a bad or good outcome.


But if you wait 10 minutes, would that require you to ask a lot of questions?

Really, outside of asking her name, I'm not really sure what to talk about. I don't have any cool/fun hobbies/stories to talk about.


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## Pillowtalk (Feb 25, 2014)

Man, you and I are in the same boat. I'm planning on talking to a girl as well. I suppose I'm just going to jump in and hope for the best. I wish you luck in your pursuit. Go get 'em tiger!


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## PressOnBrah (Feb 23, 2014)

Pillowtalk said:


> Man, you and I are in the same boat. I'm planning on talking to a girl as well. I suppose I'm just going to jump in and hope for the best. I wish you luck in your pursuit. Go get 'em tiger!


Well, I can already talk to them. I can ask them the time, ask them about a class, but I'm talking about hitting on them, getting their number.


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

Don't ask for her number on the first encounter, wait for the second encounter. She'll be more willing to give it because she won't think you're some random creep unless you made that apparent on your first encounter.


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## A51XF (Apr 7, 2014)

I have no tips. 

All I can say is good luck.


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## KaitlynRose (Aug 28, 2013)

Once you begin a conversation with someone maintaining it is easy. For example, a good start is asking what her what her major is. When she tells you, ask her why she chose that major or tell her what you have heard about that specific field. Being well-informed is an admirable trait, and to create some form of a memorable relationship you must talk about yourself as well (as to not feel like you are interrogating her). Just relax and let the conversation flow naturally. You can walk together and speak with her for about ten minutes, then say something along the lines of, "I have to go to class now but I would like to talk to you later. Can I have your number?" and if all goes, she will give it to you.


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## PressOnBrah (Feb 23, 2014)

KaitlynRose said:


> Once you begin a conversation with someone maintaining it is easy. For example, a good start is asking what her what her major is. When she tells you, ask her why she chose that major or tell her what you have heard about that specific field. Being well-informed is an admirable trait, and to create some form of a memorable relationship you must talk about yourself as well (as to not feel like you are interrogating her). Just relax and let the conversation flow naturally. You can walk together and speak with her for about ten minutes, then say something along the lines of, "I have to go to class now but I would like to talk to you later. Can I have your number?" and if all goes, she will give it to you.


But it's not easy for me, hence why I'm asking. I ask about her major and what she wants to do with it. That'll take 30 seconds...

Damn, I just want the girl to give me a chance and not judge me by my initial awkwardness and imminent blushing.


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## PressOnBrah (Feb 23, 2014)

Nada said:


> Don't ask for her number on the first encounter, wait for the second encounter. She'll be more willing to give it because she won't think you're some random creep unless you made that apparent on your first encounter.


Second encounter? I'll be approaching a RANDOM hot girl on campus. There will be no second encounter, since I probably wouldn't run into her ever again.


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## KaitlynRose (Aug 28, 2013)

PressOnBrah said:


> But it's not easy for me, hence why I'm asking. *I ask about her major and what she wants to do with it. That'll take 30 seconds...*
> 
> Damn, I just want the girl to give me a chance and not judge me by my initial awkwardness and imminent blushing.


Firstly, you must remember to ask her _why _she chose that major, not simply what she wants to do with it. You want to know her on a deeper level, to understand her thoughts, dreams and fears. You are not thinking deeply enough; your mentality is only scratching the surface.

Think of it like categories. You are too broad in your approach. Basically you are stating, "Do you like food?" (obviously everyone likes a food of some sort) and she simply states she does, perhaps says Italian food. Well, what kind of Italian food does she like specifically? Alright, she says pasta. Now dig even deeper -- ask her when she first ate pasta and why she likes it; perhaps there was some amusing childhood memory she could tell you about that she is fond of. My point is, narrow your subjects down so you can know her more personally.

Another example, perhaps a more adequate one I am referring to:

Music --> Favorite Genre --> Band --> Song --> Experience (a concert she went to for that specific band, why she relates to a specific song, etc.)

Just ask her what you would like to genuinely know about her and she will (if it is appropriate, of course) answer. Compliment her as well (but be honest about it); females adore compliments, namely over something unique about them -- like their eyes, personality, intelligence, sense of humor -- not merely the shirt or shoes they happen to be wearing that day.

There are several sites you can go to for a list of questions to ask a girl (like so: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/random-questions-to-ask-a-girl.html ) if you truly are unable to think of anything, but I suggest just going with the flow of the conversation and making a point to talk about yourself every so often; she will most likely ask about you as well and you want her to be genuinely curious about you. Try to find some common ground or a common interest to build off of to achieve this.

Try to refrain from seeing her as a member of the opposite sex. Instead, see the situation as a normal conversation with a fellow human being; doing so will allow you to feel considerably less anxious.

Gathering the nerve to start a conversation with a stranger is the hard part, maintaining it is far easier. If you follow my advice you will have her number by the time the conversation is over, I guarantee it.


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## PressOnBrah (Feb 23, 2014)

But, isn't that kind of going too deep for just getting her phone number? Doubt she wants get emotionally deep with a total stranger within 5 minutes.

Now, girls in my classes that I've talked to and I know some of their interests? Yeah, that would be easy to ask them about. But without knowing if they play sports, instruments, have interesting hobbies, etc., it's hard to really connect with them, because chances are, they say something that I know NOTHING about (because I'm not normal).


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## chickenfett (Jun 2, 2011)

PressOnBrah said:


> But, isn't that kind of going too deep for just getting her phone number? Doubt she wants get emotionally deep with a total stranger within 5 minutes.
> 
> Now, girls in my classes that I've talked to and I know some of their interests? Yeah, that would be easy to ask them about. But without knowing if they play sports, instruments, have interesting hobbies, etc., it's hard to really connect with them, because chances are, they say something that I know NOTHING about (because I'm not normal).


You're not asking for an emotionally deep connection. You're just asking her to talk again. It isn't a conversation that will lead to anything super-romantic necessarily. It may just be "Maybe we should have a conversation again." For all we know, she may be nice or not so nice. Either way, it's not a reflection on you; it's just how you two related. Asking for her number isn't to say "We should be dating". It's just to say "I'd like to talk again." Also, girls are just as insecure as boys (arguably more, arguably less) when it comes to dating. She's just a person with the same anxieties as you - even if she doesn't express them. She might be just as nervous talking to a guy. Don't worry about it. The only way to know is to try. Don't have a conversation with the intent of finding your future wife, just have a conversation to try and make it good enough to have another one.


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## PressOnBrah (Feb 23, 2014)

Ah, screw it, I'll probably stop worrying so much about it. At worst, she'll blow me off, think I'm weird, and nothing would be different than it is now. At best, I am successful.


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## PressOnBrah (Feb 23, 2014)

I don't really want to wait until Monday. Any ideas on some good places that I could go to pick up a chick? I don't do bars, and my local mall barely ever has anyone in it...


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## Haunty (Oct 24, 2008)

PressOnBrah said:


> I don't really want to wait until Monday. Any ideas on some good places that I could go to pick up a chick? I don't do bars, and my local mall barely ever has anyone in it...


Could just go shopping at the mall, or a box store like Target, or a grocery store. See if you can catch a girl glance or smile at you, even if it is an employee, in which case you could go ask them to help you find something.


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## PressOnBrah (Feb 23, 2014)

Haunty said:


> Could just go shopping at the mall, or a box store like Target, or a grocery store. See if you can catch a girl glance or smile at you, even if it is an employee, in which case you could go ask them to help you find something.


Most people don't smile at random people here :/


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## rambo (Nov 14, 2010)

PressOnBrah said:


> But if you wait 10 minutes, would that require you to ask a lot of questions?
> 
> Really, outside of asking her name, I'm not really sure what to talk about. I don't have any cool/fun hobbies/stories to talk about.


To not ask alot of question is to just share information with her. With some of info that can possibly open make her wanna ask a question. Ill give you an example of a convo that I would do but this isnt a dating or picking up type of sample. It is a sample of a basic convo with a chick.

Me: Hi, do you have the time?
Her: 10:30
Me: Ty. Dam I'm late for school. I haven't been late for a while tho. Oh well.

Now she would either reply with something relating to school, late, or nothing. If she say nothing, I would just ask her question or share information. Maybe, something she is wearing can link to a convo. Maybe she have a pink shirt. And her pink share remind me of something that I wanna share with her.

If you really wanna pick up chicks. Learn how to have a basic convo.


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## jjj21 (Feb 24, 2012)

My opinion seems to be a little different from other people’s opinions here. Don’t just go up to the girl and ask her for her name and major or any personal information about her. It’ll be pretty obvious that you’re interested in her and she’ll immediately put up a shield, especially if she isn’t interested in you right away. Instead, use a situational opener. Use something in the environment to start up a conversation (saying things in context instead of bringing up something randomly can prevent her from thinking you’re only talking to her because you’re interested in her), like asking her if she knows where they sell coffee (or some certain type of restaurant or cafe); where a certain building is; or, if she’s texting on an iphone, ask her if that’s an iphone and start asking questions about it. If she’s eating something, ask if it tastes good and where she bought it. If she’s buying something, ask if the product is good and ask for information about it. You can also ask her for suggestions on things to eat or buy, or, if you want to discuss school, interesting classes you can take. Talk about that initial topic for a little while. 

After you have that conversation (where she wouldn’t assume that you’re talking to her because you’re interested in her), try to go into other topics, like her major, what her interests are etc. But try to tie it in with the first topic. You need to talk about the situational topic for a few minutes (or at least 1 minute) before you start to get to know her, or she’ll realize that the only reason you talked to her is to try to get her number. Also, it’s good to ask opened-ended questions instead of questions that get a one word answer. And don’t get too personal with her on the first encounter (don’t talk about touchy subjects).

Like somebody else said, ask her for her number at the 10 minute mark, and do it only if you two are getting along and enjoying the conversation. Tell her something along the lines of “I have to go, but we should talk later, what’s your number?” Absolutely do not ask her to go out with you, because she probably won’t want to commit right away. Text her for a while before actually calling her up.

The problem with hot girls is that they tend to have extremely high standards, and even worse, hundreds of guys have approached them. You need to have much more game (and good looks, an interesting life and a great sense of humor) than the hundreds of guys that have flirted with her before, and if you’re a beginner, that’s probably not going to happen. Go for a more average looking girl; they’ll probably be a lot more receptive. Also, try to find a girl that’s alone, because if her friends are with her, they will probably interfere with you flirting with her and they won’t like the fact that you’re interrupting their conversation.

There is a lot of pickup material that you should read as well (and I highly suggest you do; you need to educate yourself on how to flirt with girls if you really want to be successful). “Attraction isn’t a choice” by David DeAngelo is something you should definitely read. Another great book is “day bang” by Roosh V. This book will teach you how to flirt with girls in a subtle way so that they won’t be creeped out. They also have pickup forums that you can check out (like the lovesystems forums).

If you want some practice, set up an okcupid account (it’s free) in another state (so that people around where you live won’t see your profile) and start talking to girls on there to get an idea of how to flirt with girls. Or, instead of trying to meet up with girls in real life, you can just try online dating.

Also, to work on your conversational ability, I suggest you watch lots of movies and TV shows (especially comedy shows) and start getting into different kinds of music, since those things are great conversational topics and they will help you find common ground with people. It’ll also allow you to give the girl suggestions on movies to watch or music to listen to and you can ask her for suggestions. You should also read the news to find current topics to discuss and also keep up with pop culture. You can also check out reddit.com for some humorous things that you might be able to insert into a conversation. Also start watching lots of standup comedy to work on your sense of humor. Some people like talking about sports, so maybe find some sport to keep up with. If you want, you can pick up a hobby, like playing the guitar or playing some sort of sport. When you’re flirting with a girl, though, keep it fun instead of intellectual.

Overall, the best piece of advice I can give you is to read up on pickup (how to flirt with girls etc.) before you start going out and flirting with girls, because it’s better to know what to do beforehand instead of constantly making mistakes when you first start out. Then make an okcupid profile and talk to girls on there to get some practice. Then move onto real life, and possibly start with just having a friendly conversation with a girl you don’t know (without asking for her number) instead of flirting with her right away, to build your comfort level around girls.

Also, if your appearance is a problem, work on your appearance. Try to get a new haircut, go to the gym, get a new fashion sense etc.


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## PressOnBrah (Feb 23, 2014)

Ah, damn, didn't do it. P****ed out.

But, for a minute, I was really thinking about it, and wasn't even nervous, so I think I'll actually be able to go through with it on Wednesday.


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## Pearson99 (Feb 23, 2014)

please update us tomorrow


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

Pearson99 said:


> please update us tomorrow


Well that's just cruel :teeth


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## Pearson99 (Feb 23, 2014)

TicklemeRingo said:


> Well that's just cruel :teeth


lol. I meant please update us what happens tomorrow.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

Pearson99 said:


> lol. I meant please update us what happens tomorrow.


psssst: He's been banned. There won't be any update


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