# How do I befriend another loner?



## forever21 (Mar 9, 2014)

I'm at lunch now and of course I don't have any friends to hang with right now.. I see some loners, just like me, and I want to befriend them but I honestly have no idea how to. I don't just wanna go up to them and be like "hi you look like you're a loner so I chose to befriend you." Even though they ARE a loner like me, I don't want to start it like that... So how exactly am I supposed to start the conversation? And what would I even talk to them about.. I can't stand spending the rest of this year's lunches as a loner, but I don't know how I would start befriending these people. I'm socially awkward and I never know what to do in these situations.. It's not like I have classes with these people where I could be like "you're in my math class right?" And so on.


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## Chords97 (Sep 3, 2013)

Something I've noticed is that loners tend to drift towards each other without even talking much. I don't consider myself a hardcore loner, because I get depressed if I go too long without talking and being around other people, but I do like to be alone a lot and I don't enjoy having many close relationships with people.

This may be easier said than done, but how about just going and sitting next to one of them one day? Chances are that they won't mind. No matter who you are, not many people like to sit alone at lunch, loner or not. It's a terrible and uncomfortable feeling, especially in High School. Just say 'why not?' and go sit next to them. Ask if they mind if you sit next to them. 9 times out of 10 they'll say they don't. Strike up a convo about anything, anything at all. Compliment them. Ask them what grade they're in or what they're name is.

I know alot of this stuff is easier said than done, but it's just an idea. Loners tend to be drawn to other loners. Sitting next to them let's them know you want to be friends and that you have something in common.

Good luck!


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## MaryLea (Aug 17, 2014)

A simple, 'Is this seat taken?' I am sure that someone similarly sat on their own will be feeling just as you are! If you're a laugh-at-yourself sort of person then thank them for saving you from being a laz! A laugh is the perfect ice breaker. Ask the usual convo starters, what year/grade/classes? Are they involved in any extra clubs/societies? You'll probably surprise yourself! Go for it and good luck


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## Theking72 (Oct 26, 2012)

The other point to be aware of is that you may need to be persistent, they are a loner for a reason, so befriending them may take extra effort on your part as they may not do mcuh more at first than react to your advances,


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## Charmander (Sep 5, 2012)

Haha, I don't even know. I've been very lucky to mainly have people approach me in the past. It's easier to start a very casual conversation with them that doesn't necessarily mean sitting down and talking at length. This is obviously easier in classes because you can just talk about the work or something.
It's a scary thought for me to think about doing but I wouldn't think someone was strange if they just came up and had a conversation with me.


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## HopelessFriend (Aug 7, 2013)

forever21 said:


> I don't just wanna go up to them and be like "hi you look like you're a loner so I chose to befriend you." Even though they ARE a loner like me, I don't want to start it like that...


I'm a loner, but I think I'm probably the only person who's gonna say I'd like it if you approached me like that.


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## SapphicDysphoria (Aug 24, 2014)

HopelessFriend said:


> I'm a loner, but I think I'm probably the only person who's gonna say I'd like it if you approached me like that.


I'd like it too. You really have to be pretty persistent in order to befriend another loner because if they're anything like me, they won't get the hint that you want to be friends with them just by saying "hi" and starting up a conversation a few times.


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## HopelessFriend (Aug 7, 2013)

SapphicDysphoria said:


> I'd like it too. You really have to be pretty persistent in order to befriend another loner because if they're anything like me, they won't get the hint that you want to be friends with them just by saying "hi" and starting up a conversation a few times.


Agreed, a loner would not want to assume that people who go up to them wants to be friends. Doing so could lead to disappointment  Other times, we just sort of think "why would that person want to be friends with me?" It's self-defeating, but it's probably better to assume they're just being polite.

I apologize if that's not what you meant at all lol


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