# SA is NOT permanent!



## Thorftw (Jul 7, 2011)

While I'm only 15 and haven't shed off all my SA, I am a firm believer that having the disorder is not a personality trait. I like to think of it as extra baggage we all carry with us and will soon remove through the help of others! 

You can also look at it another way, being shy as a trait has great perks as well. 
For Example:

We are some of nicest people you will ever know!
We're smart/mature enough to have a deep conversion with.
We make very loyal friends.


Just thought I'd put some positive news out there


----------



## Fenren (Sep 20, 2009)

Indeed, it isn't permanent, it's just harder for some to improve compared to others. It's good you know about it while you're still really young too. By the time you're 20, you will hopefully be over the worst and be taking life in both hands and squeezing it for all it's worth.


----------



## slushie87 (Jul 28, 2011)

Thorftw said:


> You can also look at it another way, being shy as a trait has great perks as well.
> For Example:
> 
> We are some of nicest people you will ever know!
> ...


I agree! I love when people take my "shyness" as being mysterious. lol


----------



## hoddesdon (Jul 28, 2011)

You are absolutely right. The thing is that it *seems* as if it is permanent because it makes you not want to do the things you need to do in order to improve. It also tries to perpetuate itself by making you misinterpret things in a negative way.

Realizing you need to try the things you do not want to do (avoidance increases anxiety), and making you look at things in a realistic way are the strengths of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).

There are lots of vicious circles involved, e.g. assuming everyone dislikes you results in acting in such a way as to antagonize them. This creates a self-fulfilling prophecy, which is obviously a vicious circle. Recognizing the vicious circles and not letting them affect you is also important.

It feels like you are social phobia, but you only have social phobia. If you think you are social phobia, then it seems impossible to escape. Instead of internalizing it, you can think of it as something attached to you with string.


----------



## spacebound_rocketship (Nov 21, 2009)

Great post


----------



## dawnbug (Aug 17, 2011)

i'm 15 too, when i was in high school, i had a taste of a SA-less life. i had moments were i could talk with people i didn't know like they were my best friends. i look back to that and hope the rest of my high school years well be like that  it's definitely not permanent if you don't want it to be.


----------



## Anti depressant (Jan 29, 2011)

I've gotta disagree with you guys. I don't have the same severe social anxiety that the rest of you guys do but I think it is long lasting. I think that even though I've gotten over a lot of things that happened to me I still feel a lot of anxiety at times. It comes and goes. Anxiety doesn't just vanish like that.


----------



## britisharrow (Jun 18, 2009)

We all have social anxiety for different reasons, it may be transient for some but for others it sticks around and takes serious effort to move.

About a year ago I had insects nesting in bin bags around my house because I couldn't step outside my door and walk 10 yards to the refuse area and back.

That kind of condition takes serious effort in changing.


----------



## Oddknee (Aug 16, 2011)

Thorftw said:


> While I'm only 15 and haven't shed off all my SA, I am a firm believer that having the disorder is not a personality trait. I like to think of it as extra baggage we all carry with us and will soon remove through the help of others!
> 
> You can also look at it another way, being shy as a trait has great perks as well.
> For Example:
> ...


 Very true, it is extra baggage...

We just need to learn how to let go of the past, AND we need to realise that every single moment of self-conscious-ness is not limited to US. It happens to everyone, everyone has a moment where they're self-conscious...


----------



## AK32 (Sep 2, 2010)

I've been trying to think more positive lately, I applied to college & I start orientation in about 2 weeks, I chatted with an old guy friend from high school on facebook. These are all things that I would have never done a year ago, but I've decided that I'm not going to allow my anxiety to take anymore of my life than it already has. Now don't get me wrong none of this is easy, but if I'm going to get over this thing that's been holding me back for so long I have to push myself no matter how scary it might be.


----------



## Cole87 (Aug 15, 2011)

I don't by that, I have had this since I was very young and I'm 24yo now. It might get a little better ones I find some friends that are closer, but my SA will never go away,


----------



## glitterbaby (Jul 26, 2011)

Some of the things I read here I can say aha :yes I can relate to that...and other things seem alien to me and Im thinking :no nope..

you see the more I use this forum the more I realise it's post traumatic stress and I am the way I am (guarded) because of past experiences, prior to that I was more trusting, therefore more outgoing and sociable and so I think it's kinda dangerous when you label yourself..people I know say I definitely dont have SA and it seems that it's just my self diagnosis.

I act in the theatre, I enjoy public speaking and get a buzz out of it and I talk to people very easily...it's more my self esteem and self worth that is the problem when it comes to abusive people or bad situations..but im working on that

But I agree with the OP that it is not forever...not only SA but PTSD and other so called 'disorders'...it's a phase and like I said 'labelling' yourself can be like a self fulfilling prophecy, while it's good to acknowledge..it's not good to dwell on it


----------



## kooshi (Jan 10, 2011)

We also love to help those in need since we know how its like to suffer.
:squeeze


----------

