# No support for my weight loss.



## The Crimson King (Jul 25, 2015)

I've been dieting for 6 months now and exercising for 4, I've lost 30lbs so far and I'm not getting any support from my friends and family. 

Every time my grandmother sees me the first words out of her mouth are that I'm getting too skinny, I told her that I weigh 240lbs and she says I look like I weigh 130 or some ridiculous weight.

My friend brought up my weight loss a week or so ago and I told him I was on a diet and exercising and he asked "why?" and asked in such a tone of voice like there was something wrong with me for doing it.

Anyone else have this experience?


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## LetMeThinkAboutThat (Aug 24, 2013)

this could be part of the problem:

Is Overweight The New Normal Weight?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/11/normalizing-obesity_n_956111.html

If necessary, make up a story that your knees are hurting some so you want to lose weight to fix them.


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## Jene (Jan 13, 2012)

I think that's a major accomplishment! I'm sorry you're not getting the support you deserve from your family. At least hopefully you'll get some support here: :clap:boogie:yay:high5. Keep up the good work!


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## shygymlover (Apr 22, 2015)

Well done keep up the good work the main thing is your happy with the results and progress


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

How tall are you? Maybe you didn't need to lose weight if you were already at a healthy weight. If you use a BMI chart, I really wouldn't suggest you to trust that stupid thing because their calculations are way off. Muscle weighs more than fat. Depends how much you have.


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## lilyamongthorns (Aug 13, 2012)

I've experienced something similar. When I was skinny, people I know would always make comments about how I was too skinny but at the same time they praised me for my thin frame. I ate like a normal person probably more than the average person but my metabolism just burned everything up.

2 years ago, I started taking medication and gained a good amount of weight from it. I look like the average person now but those who were saying I was too skinny are now calling me fat, telling me I need to lose weight, or looking at me with shock and disgust. It's very sad but thankfully, I am confident enough not to care. 

So, yes, people can be weird like that. You can't please them. Do what you want to do. I will say though, I do not support extreme dieting or weight gain. I believe in making sure you are healthy and doing things the right way. If you are, great! Don't worry about what people around you are saying.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

Expect people to behave _weirdly_ when you lose weight. I have lost approx 80lbs or thereabouts, and whilst I don't get people telling me I am too thin (cos I am still clearly too fat lol) I do observe the following:

1)People treat me so much better, its kinda depressing (because it shows how they operate). Even the treatment I get from mental health professionals and doctors is way better. Its crazy stuff tbh.

2)Friends who are also fat will start acting really oddly, to the point of saying things to try to sabotage you. Admittedly they might not be the best friends in the world 

So tbh man, people are so ****ing peculiar w.r.t weight, you need to not expect support from most people. People are very appearance oriented and a great many won't like it if you are no longer the 'fat' version of you. It can make them feel bad about themselves.

You are doing well, and congratulations on the weight loss. It isn't an easy thing to so.


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## JH1983 (Nov 14, 2013)

Yeah, I made the decision to eat healthier and get into shape about four years ago and all along the way people wanted me to cheat on my diet or skip the gym. Most people aren't prepared to put in the effort themselves and don't understand why you would.

Just do it for you and don't worry about anyone else. It's totally worth it after a couple years and you've made a huge transformation.

Mirin' username, user title and signature, by the way. Read the entire series three times except Wind Through the Keyhole, only read it once.


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## Search (Apr 20, 2013)

Yes, congartz on the weightless! I totally agree with what bob and the others have said here.

I too am now going through some major changes myself. I've been doing it on and off over the years and am used to all the negative feedback. I have come to understand how people reacts to others losing weight.

It's usually friends and family that feel challenged by our weightless. Weight and Well-Being is hard to maintain in a sedentary world with most of it's food based synthetic coated in all kinds of addictive powders. Everyone is hooked and struggling to maintain good health.

The fact that your doing something about your health, tends to challenge others with their own health. Then of course there are those, who may seemingly think they are well, who will despise you simply for daring to make a change. Many people do not like change. People are not just sick from food, they are also negatively set in judgmental ways. Taking control tends to challenge others as well. There may be something in their life that they need to attend, and seeing you take control may trigger resentment for simply having reminded them when they would rather forget.

These are just a few reasons why people can react negatively. There are even more. It's sad ... I know. Keep up the good work. Take a moment to think how you now feel. How do you feel since regaining control of your health?

I feel awesome. I can finally do up my laces without cramping my back. I can walk without getting puffed. I can see my toes! I have way more reasons to feel good for having lost weight. Hell, if they want to start *****ing about you loosing some weight ... tell them your going to start water fasting ... they ain't seen nothing yet! If they ***** about that ... just tell them how dumb they sound and to go do some research before mouthing off about things they obviously do not understand.

Fact is - your tacking control and if the best they can do is put you down for it, then you don't friends and family like that.

I hear names like anorexia, anemic, skinny ***, glutton for punishment, self harm, addict, insecure and on and on. Again I have been at it for a long time. Now that they are all fat, and have seen me cut into my body like a hot knife into butter ... they know they are wasting their time trying to tell me what's right and what's not. They have come to know that it's really all about projecting their own issues ... and not mine.

Losing weight will often challenge those closest to us ... even acquaintances that really don't know us - those at work and so on ... for many reasons not related to health ... people generally react out of jealousy and spite for the mere fact that others have taken control when they themselves are slaves to something else.

Look for online support groups if you really need the help.

Above all - Remind yourself ... that you are your best support.

You've done well man ... keep the good work!!!

Let's all here it for The Crimson King


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## Chasingclouds (Jan 7, 2015)

I support you, good job in losing all that weight and if they don't give you the support then that's fine, it's too bad they're missing out on one of your greatest accomplishments. Have you thought about joining a club for weight loss, like weight watchers? They have co-ed support groups from what I've heard and have meetings to check on everyone's progress and discuss their dieting and what not. Mom used to do it and she seemed to like it, I know it might be a tad spendy for the membership because they had meals and calculators that you use. If that's the case though you could always google fitness groups in your area, or weight loss support groups.


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## caelle (Sep 9, 2008)

The Crimson King said:


> I've been dieting for 6 months now and exercising for 4, I've lost 30lbs so far and I'm not getting any support from my friends and family.
> 
> Every time my grandmother sees me the first words out of her mouth are that I'm getting too skinny, I told her that I weigh 240lbs and she says I look like I weigh 130 or some ridiculous weight.
> 
> ...


Is this friend of yours and your family members who aren't very supportive, on the heavier side? If so.. I notice sometimes there is jealousy or resentment issues that go on when someone is trying to lose weight, or make some other dramatic lifestyle change.


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## The Crimson King (Jul 25, 2015)

nomi said:


> Is this friend of yours and your family members who aren't very supportive, on the heavier side? If so.. I notice sometimes there is jealousy or resentment issues that go on when someone is trying to lose weight, or make some other dramatic lifestyle change.


The friend in question is skinny and the family members range from skinny to average to a little over weight.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

This is why having a girlfriend is so important dude. Men cannot be alone. We need women.


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## The Crimson King (Jul 25, 2015)

Farideh said:


> How tall are you? Maybe you didn't need to lose weight if you were already at a healthy weight. If you use a BMI chart, I really wouldn't suggest you to trust that stupid thing because their calculations are way off. Muscle weighs more than fat. Depends how much you have.


I'm 6'3", I was down to around 220 several years ago and that was pretty ideal. I had lost 60lbs in the past and had kept it off for 6 years but I got in a depressive rut around 2011 and let myself go.


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## The Crimson King (Jul 25, 2015)

Imbored21 said:


> This is why having a girlfriend is so important dude. Men cannot be alone. We need women.


A woman would be nice, or a man. I'm partial to trans gendered women myself. What does this have to do with anything that's going on in this thread?


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

When 1/3 of adults (including me) are obese people get a biased view of what a suitable weight should be.

Despite being obese, I look slender by comparison to all the gigantic folks who are riding a scooter around Walmart.

At least I'm able to walk about even the larger store under my own power.

And, ironically, doctors who deal with the complications of obesity every day are handing out antipsychotics like candy to make patients even larger.


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## shygymlover (Apr 22, 2015)

this photo does it for me .iv noting against obsese people but this is what we have to live with in todays world which is sad.


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## fairy12 (Oct 2, 2013)

The Crimson King said:


> I've been dieting for 6 months now and exercising for 4, I've lost 30lbs so far and I'm not getting any support from my friends and family.
> 
> Every time my grandmother sees me the first words out of her mouth are that I'm getting too skinny, I told her that I weigh 240lbs and she says I look like I weigh 130 or some ridiculous weight.
> 
> ...


Why don't you keep doing what you're doing and stop worrying about what they think/say. It should go in one ear and out the other. It does NOT matter what they think. Do you feel happy with the great amount of progress you've made? I think you're doing great.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

The Crimson King said:


> A woman would be nice, or a man. I'm partial to trans gendered women myself. What does this have to do with anything that's going on in this thread?


 His posts are pretty much off topic on most threads, but he's just stating his opinion.


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## Dilweedle (Oct 17, 2013)

I used to get mocked for being too fat so I lost weight and got mocked for being too skinny. But I also got compliments when I was fat _and_ skinny, it just depends on who you're asking. Just get around a weight that you like and are comfortable with and don't worry about pleasing other people with it.


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## Artem (May 13, 2013)

Just keep going, grandmother is not somebody who you want to listen


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## NoHobbies (Jun 26, 2013)

They aren't used to your new weight.


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## ingvarnaut (Oct 15, 2015)

You have lost 30 lbs. This is a massive amount of weight! Good job. I support your choice. Keep going man!


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## uniclover (Sep 22, 2015)

it depends.. are those people the same ones who used to complain that you're fat? if not i wouldn't pay attention to them and just be happy with my own progress.


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## SoTired93 (Dec 22, 2016)

splendidbob said:


> 2)Friends who are also fat will start acting really oddly, to the point of saying things to try to sabotage you. Admittedly they might not be the best friends in the world


THIS IS SO TRUE. I have this one friend I've known since high school and I was away for college for four years so we never really hung out. Now that I've been home I see her more, and I've told her that I started losing weight (this was about a year ago). We went on a trip one weekend and she commented on EVERYTHING. When we got food, I got a kid's portion of ice cream when she got the large and she commented on that. Then, the next day when we were getting ready to go home, I literally got dressed and she commented on how dressed up I was and how she looked like crap. ???? I was wearing shorts and a tank top! There wasn't anything to comment on.

I almost feel like she's jealous because she has put on a lot of weight in the last four or five years. But still, it's like everything I did she was being judgemental about it. It has come to a point where I don't really see her anymore because I feel like every move I make I'm being scrutinized and judged.

I think that some people just react badly when you want to make your life better because they don't have the motivation to do the same. It's just sad that some people want to drag you back down. On the other hand, my mom and a friend are incredibly supportive which helps.

It's important to do what makes you happy in the end. When I lost weight I became more confident, and I wouldn't give that up for the world, especially not for someone who doesn't support what I'm doing.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

SoTired93 said:


> THIS IS SO TRUE. I have this one friend I've known since high school and I was away for college for four years so we never really hung out. Now that I've been home I see her more, and I've told her that I started losing weight (this was about a year ago). We went on a trip one weekend and she commented on EVERYTHING. When we got food, I got a kid's portion of ice cream when she got the large and she commented on that. Then, the next day when we were getting ready to go home, I literally got dressed and she commented on how dressed up I was and how she looked like crap. ???? I was wearing shorts and a tank top! There wasn't anything to comment on.
> 
> I almost feel like she's jealous because she has put on a lot of weight in the last four or five years. But still, it's like everything I did she was being judgemental about it. It has come to a point where I don't really see her anymore because I feel like every move I make I'm being scrutinized and judged.
> 
> ...


 Yup. If it is a problem they share with you, and they aren't able to fix, I think it serves as a constant reminder for them. I do sympathise with this, but ultimately if people who are supposed to be your friends make you feel bad when you are around them, sometimes you just have to cut those ties, or at least greatly limit how often you interact with them.


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## SoTired93 (Dec 22, 2016)

splendidbob said:


> ... sometimes you just have to cut those ties, or at least greatly limit how often you interact with them.


Definitely - I can't even remember the last time I saw her. I'm not going to subject myself to someone who is so negative about something I'm incredibly proud of.


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## firestar (Jun 27, 2009)

I lost weight a few years ago. About fifty pounds or so. I went from being overweight my entire life to being very thin. When it became noticeable, people were worried that I was sick. I got a plenty of compliments but there were also questions and concerns, especially from my family. 

I can't really blame them, though, since I did go a bit overboard. I'm much happier about 10-15 pounds heavier than my lightest weight and I don't get the comments anymore. My family's much more tolerant now when I eat my own food or choose a healthy option, rather than telling me that I need to eat more.


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