# is it weird that i want someone 10 years younger?



## faithnomore (Feb 12, 2018)

before anyone says I'm a pedophile, I'm 29 and I rather date someone whos in their late teens or early 20's. my parents are 20 years apart and I value both of them. I know a lot of people wouldn't want to date with this big of a gap, but I think it would be neat.


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## 546617 (Oct 8, 2014)

so when u were 20 U wanted to date a 10 year old


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## lizzy19 (Jun 16, 2012)

Do you look your age or younger? 10 is a bit much


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## Rachel NG (Dec 23, 2017)

Yeah that's obviously really ****ed up. Why are you specifically interested in teenagers rather than an age appropriate relationship? Is it because you want to control the relationship and have more power? It's not just weird, it's unhealthy and predatory and it makes me concerned that you'd be abusive.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## faithnomore (Feb 12, 2018)

I look 24 but I don't care if they are in the range from 19-39. I've been with younger girls before and it just makes it easier to deal with when you are older than them. Plus there are tons of 19-20 yr olds who think I am attractive so I don't see why its a big deal.


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## Sassandclass (Jul 16, 2017)

I’m not into relationships that have a huge age gap. I think that it limits the amount of things you have in common. Also, with age, you’ll be able to do less and less together. For example: If I’m, say, 35 and I still want to go to parties and climb mountains, my now 45 year old spouse may not be into that at all. He might want to sit on the couch and relax everyday after work because he’s already done his party and mountain climbing days. And if he DID do those things with me, he might be resenting it (and me) the whole time. 

With that being said, I know a couple who match very well. She’s in her late 20s/early 30s and he’s in his 60’s . I actually find the idea of that really gross (how does the sex work?? And how much longer will it actually work?! I mean not that that’s all it is about, but seriously, it’s a definite consideration for marriage) Anyways, they actually seem quite happy together. 

But in your case, I would NOT date anyone in their late teens. That’s a little too far into the realm of “creepy”. Maybe if you were both complete adults it would be different (ie: you’re 39 and they’re 29) 

Or you could find a way to be interested in your own age group. 

I’m interested in some of the answers from other people’s questions here about why you’re not interested in your own age group?  


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Hmm as long as its legal do you but I would be careful.


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## Rachel NG (Dec 23, 2017)

faithnomore said:


> it just makes it easier to deal with when you are older than them.


Holy ****....my worries are confirmed.

edit: or you're just trolling, it's impossible to tell on the internet and you're a very new account.


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## SFC01 (Feb 10, 2016)

Kevin001 said:


> Hmm as long as its legal do you but I would be careful.


fair point Kevin, its legal and if he gets one fine.

When I was that age, personally I would have not been too comfortable in a relationsip with a 19 year old, but a one off, well...


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## Sunb0urn (Feb 25, 2018)

Do you feel that you are immature for your age? 

I'm 23 and interested in 18-19 year olds because I feel like it's in general appropriate for people to date those who are of similar maturity to them, and I'm most definitely immature for my age. It doesn't mean I would discount someone my age for being my age though. Would you? 

What do you mean by "it makes it easier to deal with?" Do you mean that people that young are less demanding? Or do you mean they are easier to control? If your reason for wanting to date someone that young is because you want to control the relationship, please seek help.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Unless you're under 28 (and/or the person you're interested in is under 18 ), most people won't care and the ones who do are irrelevant.


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

just depends on why.

alot of younger women are really attractive, and there's nothing wrong with finding younger women attractive. just be respectful and nice to her and it will be peachy.

I like younger women myself.


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## Rachel NG (Dec 23, 2017)

Sunb0urn said:


> What do you mean by "it makes it easier to deal with?" Do you mean that people that young are less demanding? Or do you mean they are easier to control? If your reason for wanting to date someone that young is because you want to control the relationship, please seek help.


He didn't just say that younger people are easier to deal with, he said it's easier when he's older than them. He's specifically focused on the age gap and being the older (and thus more powerful) partner.....


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## Sunb0urn (Feb 25, 2018)

Rachel NG said:


> He didn't just say that younger people are easier to deal with, he said it's easier when he's older than them. He's specifically focused on the age gap and being the older (and thus more powerful) partner.....


I don't know, I keep rereading his posts and my feeling is that there's multiple ways what he said could be interpreted which is why I asked him for clarification. One possible interpretation for it being "easier" is that yes he does want to be the more powerful partner. Another interpretation is that as a woman gets older, they begin to expect more out of their partners. They begin to expect a stable career, your own place, etc and 18-19 year olds simply don't expect this nearly as often. In that sense, it's easier to date an 18-19 year old than someone in their late 20s.


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## faithnomore (Feb 12, 2018)

Rachel NG said:


> Holy ****....my worries are confirmed.
> 
> edit: or you're just trolling, it's impossible to tell on the internet and you're a very new account.


you're just the most pessimistic person I met here, its fine. every post you make is finding something wrong with what the poster has to say.


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## Mlt18 (Jun 29, 2016)

It's not uncommon, but not everyone can pull it off. This 40 year-old guy at work tried to date me and this other girl that was even younger than me. It wouldn't have been as big of a deal if he looked younger but he actually looks way older, and so it came off as weird to a lot of people who knew of it.


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## Rachel NG (Dec 23, 2017)

Mlt18 said:


> It's not uncommon, but not everyone can pull it off. This 40 year-old guy at work tried to date me and this other girl that was even younger than me. It wouldn't have been as big of a deal if he looked younger but he actually looks way older, and so it came off as weird to a lot of people who knew of it.


Why would him looking younger make a difference?


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## Cashel (Oct 29, 2013)

Nah, it's fine. Probably not super uncommon. Just realize that it's probably less achievable than dating somebody your own age.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Yeah...this thread headed exactly where I expected it to go.


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## Rachel NG (Dec 23, 2017)

Sunb0urn said:


> I don't know, I keep rereading his posts and my feeling is that there's multiple ways what he said could be interpreted which is why I asked him for clarification. One possible interpretation for it being "easier" is that yes he does want to be the more powerful partner. Another interpretation is that as a woman gets older, they begin to expect more out of their partners. They begin to expect a stable career, your own place, etc and 18-19 year olds simply don't expect this nearly as often. In that sense, it's easier to date an 18-19 year old than someone in their late 20s.


There really aren't other ways to interpret it. Unless English isn't his first language and he's terrible at it, your alternative interpretation doesn't work at all.


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## Lonely Hobbit (Aug 31, 2009)

There's nothing wrong with men pursuing younger women. That's how it's always been in every society throughout history. Due to feminism, however, this is now seen as "creepy" while a middle aged woman who dates men twenty years younger is considered empowered.


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

It’s not weird, but you should ask yourself why you feel that way. Personally, I’d prefer to date a woman whom I am attracted to and that I like being with, regardless of age, assuming she’s an adult.


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## Rachel NG (Dec 23, 2017)

Lonely Hobbit said:


> There's nothing wrong with men pursuing younger women. That's how it's always been in every society throughout history. Due to feminism, however, this is now seen as "creepy" while a middle aged woman who dates men twenty years younger is considered empowered.


Welcome to /r/theredpill :roll


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## Chevy396 (Jul 10, 2017)

Who cares, some 20 year olds are more mature and powerful than other 40 year olds. I think that is what matters more.

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## faithnomore (Feb 12, 2018)

Rachel just needs to be banned honestly or blocked from posting. She has this condescending attitude that no one cares about. Honestly I don't care what you think, if my parents are 20 years apart and I value their marriage then the **** do I care about societal values. And for the record, what I meant by "easier" is that I would be the one in control rather than some girl my age or older that thinks they have life figured out.


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## Rachel NG (Dec 23, 2017)

faithnomore said:


> what I meant by "easier" is that I would be the one in control rather than some girl my age or older that thinks they have life figured out.


Yeah that's exactly what I thought you meant, which is awful and abusive. If you're not trolling then I hope you stay single.

there ya go @Sunb0urn


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## jolene23 (Nov 23, 2017)

I don't think you'd have much in common with 18/19 year old girls. Personally I think it's big age difference and those relationships probably won't last. But as someone already said it's legal.


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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

I have an (internet) friend who likes to do that sort of thing and I've always looked down upon it. It's a weird power/control thing that rubs me a bit awkwardly. I wouldn't say it's abusive like Rachel would want me to believe, but it definitely reveals a bit of insecurity on the man's side (in my opinion). It's as if the man feels threatened by women his own age, or feels inadequate or something.

Obviously, this isn't always the case. Plenty of relationships can form naturally with such an age barrier. There's also situations in which a younger (attractive) woman enters a purely sexual relationship with a man for symbiotic reasons (money, etc) which I don't view in the same light. 

When someone goes out of their way to date someone that much younger, however, I do get a little suspicious. But, to each their own, I guess.


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## Red2N (Oct 7, 2017)

I think dating somebody who is 10 years younger isn't a problem if you happen to meet by chance and get along with them. However, actively seeking somebody who is 10 years younger is slightly odd, especially when 10 years younger means they're still in their teens.


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## Rachel NG (Dec 23, 2017)

Karsten said:


> I wouldn't say it's abusive like Rachel would want me to believe,


He explicitly said it's because he wants to have the power in the relationship...is there any relationship you'd label abusive,


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## Chevy396 (Jul 10, 2017)

Rachel NG said:


> He explicitly said it's because he wants to have the power in the relationship...is there any relationship you'd label abusive,


Lots of people want to be the one in charge of their relationships be it romantic, sexual or business/work. It doesn't mean they are abusive, it may simply mean they have trust issues/PTSD from past relationships and don't want to experience that again. Just like how the majority of bosses aren't abusive, but they still like running things. Is it a power Trip or do they simply know that they make good decisions.

If a girl said she only wanted to date younger men because an older guy raped her, I bet you would applaud her. Also, you are on the verge of being abusive to people on here yourself.

For me personally I like to date younger women for a number of reasons combined. I like their looks and personalizes more, and most of the time they let you make the decisions instead of thinking they have to control everything. This does mean I like to control things, but never in a bad way. I am just confident in my relationship skills. Another reason is they haven't had their heart broken as many times and are less likely to leave you over something stupid.

On the flip side, most women prefer a guy with more experience. So they prefer older men, and why wouldn't I want to be preferred?

Did I mention that 18 to 25 year olds have perfect asses and perky tits? Much older than that and their body has been wrecked by having kids.

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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

Rachel NG said:


> He explicitly said it's because he wants to have the power in the relationship...is there any relationship you'd label abusive,


I'm not a psychologist, and there are people far better equipped to theorize on the subject, but I'm certain all relationships have a form of power dynamic. Some people actually prefer to act as a subordinate. Maybe it's a sort 'liberation from responsibility', I don't know.

You see a lot of this in the BDSM scene. I DO think this sort of dynamic can sometimes be perverted and turned into an abusive one, but it's not necessarily always the case.

I just think oversimplifying it and calling it "abuse" is a disingenuous evaluation. There are a lot of factors involved.


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## Rachel NG (Dec 23, 2017)

Karsten said:


> I'm not a psychologist, and there are people far better equipped to theorize on the subject, but I'm certain all relationships have a form of power dynamic. Some people actually prefer to act as a subordinate. Maybe it's a sort 'liberation from responsibility', I don't know.
> 
> You see a lot of this in the BDSM scene. I do think that this sort of dynamic can sometimes be perverted and turned into an abusive one, but I don't think it's necessarily always the case.
> 
> I just think oversimplifying it and calling it "abuse" is a disingenuous evaluation. There are a lot of factors involved.


Pretending to have a power imbalance for a short role play is not the same as actually having and using that power imbalance in your relationship. And he obviously wants to use it because he's specifically seeking out a relationship where he has power, this isn't two people just happening to meet and fall in love, he's targeting teens. Power imbalances can exist in healthy relationships BUT in a healthy relationship they do everything they can to minimize the effect of that and treat each other as equals, and it can't be stated enough that he is explicitly looking for someone who is not his equal but who he can control.


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## Kalakotkas (Feb 15, 2018)

Rachel NG said:


> He explicitly said it's because he wants to have the power in the relationship...is there any relationship you'd label abusive,


What if the guy in question has never been in a relationship? Would it be wrong to look for someone less experienced, just to do not feel completely inadeguate? It can be a self-esteem issue, but it doesn't put necessarely the older one in a position of manipulative control. It's simply scary to think that most of the women you encounter have much more life experience than you, when you're an old virgin (speaking for myself here).

I'm aware though that the age gap is difficult to cover culturally speaking.


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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

Rachel NG said:


> Pretending to have a power imbalance for a short role play is not the same as actually having and using that power imbalance in your relationship. And he obviously wants to use it because he's specifically seeking out a relationship where he has power, this isn't two people just happening to meet and fall in love, he's targeting teens. Power imbalances can exist in healthy relationships BUT in a healthy relationship they do everything they can to minimize the effect of that and treat each other as equals, and it can't be stated enough that he is explicitly looking for someone who is not his equal but who he can control.


For a lot of people, this roleplay isn't limited to sex. I didn't know this either until I started speaking to people involved in that scene. It's a legitimate lifestyle.

Also, I feel like I misrepresented this guy a bit. He's not actively seeking teens, lol.

My knee-jerk reaction is the same as yours basically, as it goes against all of my principles. Like I said in my first post, it rubs me as sort of a insecurity thing. Like these guys are afraid of being challenged or something.

I also recognize that I'm probably being a bit judgemental when I come to these conclusions and that I shouldn't really project my ideals onto other people.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

Don't really care about age gaps.


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## rmb1990 (Jan 16, 2015)

You’re nearly 30 and you want to date a teenager? Why? It’s rather strange.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

OK so I feel like the OP made this thread purely to try and trigger Rachel (just a suspicion I have,) but anyway I don't see a problem with age differences in general (it really depends on the specifics of the individuals and their relationship,) but the bolded part:



faithnomore said:


> Rachel just needs to be banned honestly or blocked from posting. She has this condescending attitude that no one cares about. Honestly I don't care what you think, if my parents are 20 years apart and I value their marriage then the **** do I care about societal values. *And for the record, what I meant by "easier" is that I would be the one in control rather than some girl my age or older that thinks they have life figured out.*


sounds ****ed up to me though. I can understand wanting to avoid being controlled, but that's not really what your post is implying.

But like I said, probably not a serious thread.


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## forgetmylife (Oct 1, 2011)

id only ever consider an 18 year old

maybe 19, but 20's too old...

18 year old submissive virgin is ideally what you are looking for OP (trust me)

if they are shy that's even better


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## faithnomore (Feb 12, 2018)

how do i block Rachel from my threads, shes an annoying miserable *** troll. i wouldn't even want to date her if i was 19. like god damn how annoying can one person be.


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## Rachel NG (Dec 23, 2017)

Karsten said:


> For a lot of people, this roleplay isn't limited to sex. I didn't know this either until I started speaking to people involved in that scene. It's a legitimate lifestyle.
> 
> Also, I feel like I misrepresented this guy a bit. He's not actively seeking teens, lol.
> 
> ...


No, that's not healthy. Just because something is accepted in the bdsm community doesn't mean it's okay or healthy, the bdsm community has some serious issues and "lifestyle submission" is one of them. You can even check out the testimonials of people who left that and how it was just a cover for abuse, for which they blamed themselves for getting into it in the first place.

Look, you can be accepting and tolerant of other people's sexual interests, including bdsm, without completely throwing out your common sense and ability to think for yourself and realize when things are wrong and harmful. A lot of sex-positive people tend to give just about everything under the bdsm umbrella a pass because they consider them persecuted, but it's a pass that's not very deserved. The bdsm is full of people who don't play safely, and who do engage in it in a predatory way as a cover for hurting others.



Persephone The Dread said:


> OK so I feel like the OP made this thread purely to try and trigger Rachel (just a suspicion I have,)


That makes a lot of sense and you're probably right. Very telling that his second post in the thread was asking to ban me and every post since has just been complaining about me.


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

Karsten said:


> For a lot of people, this roleplay isn't limited to sex. I didn't know this either until I started speaking to people involved in that scene. It's a legitimate lifestyle.


can you drop some tidbits on this?

do they like insist on their power dynamic in their everyday life and stuff? and how?


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

versikk said:


> can you drop some tidbits on this?
> 
> do they like insist on their power dynamic in their everyday life and stuff? and how?


There are 'total power exchange' relationships.


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## Rachel NG (Dec 23, 2017)

Persephone The Dread said:


> There are 'total power exchange' relationships.


It really needs to be stressed though that these are not healthy and should not be considered legitimate relationship dynamics.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Rachel NG said:


> It really needs to be stressed though that these are not healthy and should not be considered legitimate relationship dynamics.


 Indeed. This is why I'm on here every day talking about how a nanny state is wrong.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Rachel NG said:


> It really needs to be stressed though that these are not healthy and should not be considered legitimate relationship dynamics.


I don't know enough about them to properly comment and it's not something I personally have any interest in trying. I did find an interesting AMA though where a submissive guy answered questions about how he was in a 3 year one and it didn't seem healthy, also seemed to have put him off being submissive a lot and he was somewhat traumatised by the experience and now only does shorter term submission stuff and more dom stuff as well (he'd also been in relationships that involved D/s besides that one as a submissive.) It also seems like they were pretty young and he started off underage (under 18 anyway dunno where he lives.)

I'm not going to link because it's got lots of 18+ bits but I'll just quote parts of it:



> As for what happened to lead up to it, well, she just became very passive aggressive with me. I found myself wanting to serve other women (one's who I felt would be more caring and satisfying to my own needs) and told her about this. She told me it was a phase etc. I tried working through it but overtime I began to hate being around her as a person. The sex and kink got me through the last few months but at one point we both finished having sex and I felt horribly depressed. I couldn't even enjoy nor did I want sex with her anymore. I knew that I couldn't lie to myself anymore. I had to end it.





> I do agree though my previous relationship was unhealthy. She had extreme control issues and was very manipulative. I myself was depressed and allowed someone to physically and mentally abuse me when I didn't want it a lot of the times. She would tell me that was normal and that I'd get used to it etc. Looking back it was pretty abusive (NOT ALL bdsm relationships are like this though) and I was and still am a bit traumatized.
> 
> My current is very mentally stable though. I'm really happy with it and don't feel overwhelmed anymore. And we always discuss how our actions and sex makes each other feel, and if one is having an issue separating fantasy from reality.





> Well we were together for 3 1/2 years. During the last 3 months I asked for a break (I thought it was well deserved). She became really passive aggressive with me and complained how I wasn't satisfying her and that she would need a new person if I didn't start doing it again.
> 
> During high school it was very much text and phone call based. I would have to send pictures, perform tasks, or physically punish myself if she couldn't come over to do so herself etc. Once I was 18 and in college she began spending more and more time at my house and would spend then night and I was living with my father at the time whom was a workaholic. The house was essentially hours for 10 hours at a time and that's when she would come over.


Of course there are many dom/dommes who are quite abusive/manipulative/narcissistic (and don't realise or do and don't care,) there's a poster on this forum who has some experience with this (from the sub pov I think.) They just use the BDSM community as an excuse to be abusive or treat people like absolute **** because of their various mental health disorders, not just in this kind of relationship dynamic but in general. Not all BDSM stuff is like this though, but it is a problem.


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## Rachel NG (Dec 23, 2017)

Persephone The Dread said:


> I don't know enough about them to properly comment and it's not something I personally have any interest in trying. I did find an interesting AMA though where a submissive guy answered questions about how he was in a 3 year one and it didn't seem healthy, also seemed to have put him off being submissive a lot and he was somewhat traumatised by the experience and now only does shorter term submission stuff and more dom stuff as well (he'd also been in relationships that involved D/s besides that one as a submissive.) It also seems like they were pretty young and he started off underage (under 18 anyway dunno where he lives.)


Yeah I saw that a few hours ago when I did some googling because of this thread. But, really a "total power exchange" is the literal definition of dehumanizing. I don't believe that can be something that is healthy or unhealthy depending on the participants (like a lot of bdsm), instead that is something that quite clearly inherently unhealthy.



Persephone The Dread said:


> Of course there are many dom/dommes who are quite abusive/manipulative/narcissistic (and don't realise or do and don't care,) there's a poster on this forum who has some experience with this (from the sub pov I think.) They just use the BDSM community as an excuse to be abusive or treat people like absolute **** because of their various mental health disorders, not just in this kind of relationship dynamic but in general. Not all BDSM stuff is like this though, but it is a problem.


Which is why it's very important not to just dismiss criticism of bdsm practices as kinkshaming or to dismiss any criticism by saying they're "consenting adults". The reality is that the bdsm community does attract people who are abusive and predatory because it gives them easy access to victims and shields them from any repercussions. The reality is that "consenting adults" can be manipulated, and can find themselves in abusive relationships that are complicated to get out and that may be unsure they want to get out of. When you think about abusive normal relationships and the gaslighting and the feelings that it's her own fault, and that he's a good guy underneath, all that complication - and then add bdsm to it as another layer.

But to avoid getting way off topic from the thread, my point ultimately is that people who seek to have control in a relationship are abusive and that relationship cannot be healthy. The existence of non-abusive bdsm practices doesn't change that.


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## Eternal Solitude (Jun 11, 2017)

My parents had a 10 year gap. Things didn't work... like in the worst way possible.

I don't see much of a moral problem if the *two parties involved are consenting adults*. Trust me there are creepier things.


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## Rachel NG (Dec 23, 2017)

Eternal Solitude said:


> consenting adults


Why does that eliminate any moral problem? Do you think an 18 year old is on the same level of life experience, knowledge, self-esteem, etc. as a 29 year old? The guy has specifically said he's looking for control, looking for someone young to achieve that control. Being a legal adult doesn't make someone knowledgeable enough to deal with predatory older men.


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## Lonely Hobbit (Aug 31, 2009)

Rachel NG said:


> Why does that eliminate any moral problem? Do you think an 18 year old is on the same level of life experience, knowledge, self-esteem, etc. as a 29 year old? The guy has specifically said he's looking for control, looking for someone young to achieve that control. Being a legal adult doesn't make someone knowledgeable enough to deal with predatory older men.


It almost sounds like you're suggesting the age of consent should be raised higher than it already is.


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## Rachel NG (Dec 23, 2017)

Lonely Hobbit said:


> It almost sounds like you're suggesting the age of consent should be raised higher than it already is.


It probably should, but no, that's not what I said.


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## llodell88 (May 15, 2011)

Yeah I would stay away from the barely legal girls and go for early 20s at least but do what you want. I know there are guys are who date 18-19 year girls only because they're not allowed to go any lower than that legally so that's usually what I assume is going when I see a guy over 25 dating someone that young although I know that's not always the case.

My grandmother is 10 years older than my grandpa btw, I think she's the only woman in my family who didn't marry a bad guy. We are really lucky to have someone like him around.


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## Chevy396 (Jul 10, 2017)

Lonely Hobbit said:


> It almost sounds like you're suggesting the age of consent should be raised higher than it already is.


I don't understand why people think this either. It is just sex after-all, not something bad. I think this mindset is what causes most of the problems and guilt associated with sex. If we were all more like hippies then nobody would care when they lost their virginity or how sl*tty they are. I was 13 when I lost my virginity to a 20 something woman. I don't have any regrets about it, and I don't feel like she abused me or used me, more like she did me a favor. I don't really get why it's reversed if the sexes are reversed, but it seems that way.

And yeah, I think the age of consent should be more like 13, although I know that's controversial. And it's not because I want a 13 year old, it is because that's a good time to start experimenting, and it happens naturally whether it's legal or not. Why throw in all these legal complications? I have heard of 13 year olds getting arrested for having sex with another 13 year old. Madness.


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## chrissyq3838 (Feb 23, 2018)

faithnomore said:


> before anyone says I'm a pedophile, I'm 29 and I rather date someone whos in their late teens or early 20's. my parents are 20 years apart and I value both of them. I know a lot of people wouldn't want to date with this big of a gap, but I think it would be neat.


i also want to date someone 10 or 20 years younger im 38 any 18 yr old males that would date 38 yr old??


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

Ok I kind of skimmed the last part of the thread but I'm pretty sure OP is a troll, but whatever... I'll play for now.

I am really curious about your parents OP. What about their relationship made you want to pursue this and you have observed any issues born from the large age difference between them? How long have they been married?

My parents have a 25 year age difference, my father remarried a woman 26 years younger and is currently trying to find a new girlfriend, the last lady he pursued was more than 30 years younger. I have met other kids with parents with large age differences and so far I have never met one that was interested in pursuing one themselves. The idea of pursuing a relationship with an age gap like my parents is horrifying to me. So I am really curious...


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

SolutionX said:


> I don't understand why people think this either. It is just sex after-all, not something bad. I think this mindset is what causes most of the problems and guilt associated with sex. If we were all more like hippies then nobody would care when they lost their virginity or how sl*tty they are. I was 13 when I lost my virginity to a 20 something woman. I don't have any regrets about it, and I don't feel like she abused me or used me, more like she did me a favor. I don't really get why it's reversed if the sexes are reversed, but it seems that way.
> 
> And yeah, I think the age of consent should be more like 13, although I know that's controversial. And it's not because I want a 13 year old, it is because that's a good time to start experimenting, and it happens naturally whether it's legal or not. Why throw in all these legal complications? I have heard of 13 year olds getting arrested for having sex with another 13 year old. Madness.


You lucky ducky you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## scooby (Jun 24, 2009)

Rachel NG;1092460858[B said:


> ]Why does that eliminate any moral problem? Do you think an 18 year old is on the same level of life experience, knowledge, self-esteem, etc. as a 29 year old?[/B] The guy has specifically said he's looking for control, looking for someone young to achieve that control. Being a legal adult doesn't make someone knowledgeable enough to deal with predatory older men.


Yes, that is possible. There are people who have lost big chunks of their lives in terms of experience/progress/self-esteem due to various reasons.


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## Chevy396 (Jul 10, 2017)

versikk said:


> You lucky ducky you.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yeah, she took on me and each one of my four friends one after the other. Imagine if a 20 year old guy did that with five 13 year old girls. There would be pitchforks and ****.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

SolutionX said:


> Yeah, she took on me and each one of my four friends one after the other. Imagine if a 20 year old guy did that with five 13 year old girls. There would be pitchforks and ****.


I think you have it backwards, it isn't "there would be pitchforks if it were reversed" it's "there should be pitchforks in your situation" and the woman involved should be prosecuted for what she did i.e. sex with children.


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## Chevy396 (Jul 10, 2017)

splendidbob said:


> I think you have it backwards, it isn't "there would be pitchforks if it were reversed" it's "there should be pitchforks in your situation" and the woman involved should be prosecuted for what she did i.e. sex with children.


I don't agree, and even if I did I would risk getting "whacked" by her Mexican gang if I let that happen. I was the one who wanted to get sexed in, so I think I'll let it slide. 

Besides, in that area when I was a kid, that was the unofficial age of consent. I don't remember ever hearing of anyone getting in trouble for it, and it happened all the time.

I remember well, hearing the saying "if it has hair on it you can **** it." all the time. Don't think I agree, but don't think I care much either as long as it's consensual.


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## silkirk77 (Mar 14, 2018)

I don't think it's weird at all. My girlfriend is 18 yrs younger than me. That much of an she difference does pose a small issue every once in a while. But 99.9 percent of our issues is me and this relationship anxiety I have.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

silkirk77 said:


> I don't think it's weird at all. My girlfriend is 18 yrs younger than me. That much of an she difference does pose a small issue every once in a while. But 99.9 percent of our issues is me and this relationship anxiety I have.


When our resident troll respawns, prepare to be labeled an abusive and immoral man.


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## rmb1990 (Jan 16, 2015)

It’s strange that no one has a problem with a 38 year old women asking if any 18 year olds would date her. Isn’t that just as bad as a 29 yo wanting to... if not way worse?


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## BlackStars (Mar 6, 2018)

just live before you die, theres no correct thing for its your life and thats the only truh


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

I could imagine dating an 18 year old would be very annoying. Hooking up with one? Sure. Dating one? No.


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## chrissyq3838 (Feb 23, 2018)

rmb1990 said:


> It's strange that no one has a problem with a 38 year old women asking if any 18 year olds would date her. Isn't that just as bad as a 29 yo wanting to... if not way worse?


lol but its legal doesnt that make it ok


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## anonymoususer2 (Feb 13, 2018)

faithnomore said:


> before anyone says I'm a pedophile, I'm 29 and I rather date someone whos in their late teens or early 20's. my parents are 20 years apart and I value both of them. I know a lot of people wouldn't want to date with this big of a gap, but I think it would be neat.


 @faithnomore , You can date anyone you want provided they are of legal age and you shouldn't let anyone in this thread or in general make you feel bad for it. It's not against the law and others shouldn't care.


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## silkirk77 (Mar 14, 2018)

SofaKing said:


> silkirk77 said:
> 
> 
> > I don't think it's weird at all. My girlfriend is 18 yrs younger than me. ...
> ...


When my gf and I started hanging out, better of looked at the other and thought of age. We saw each other for who we are.

I didn't go out looking for someone who 18 yrs younger than me.I could be just as happy with someone my age or even older as long as she has the personality.

It just so happens that my gf is everything I am looking for and she just so happens to be 18 yrs to younger than me.

Maybe I shouldn't have posted that but I am new and trying to be a active member.


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## Sus y (Aug 30, 2017)

silkirk77 said:


> When my gf and I started hanging out, better of looked at the other and thought of age. We saw each other for who we are.
> 
> I didn't go out looking for someone who 18 yrs younger than me.I could be just as happy with someone my age or even older as long as she has the personality.
> 
> ...


As some other people are saying, as long as you are two consenting adults doing nothing illegal it's no one problem, as you said it too, it just happened, very different when you are conscious and actively seeking to engage in relationships in which there is a huge age gap, in which case it may be a reflex of an unhealthy pattern of relationships that may not only mean to not be sustainable, but also could be puting in risk the younger one, who may finally be left hurted once has reached certain age/adulthood.

Since I was younger, most guys I sort of liked were 5 to 20 years older than me, I never saw this as a problem or as them to be abusing evil guys (it never happened that we get involved, although), anyway simple, my "ideal man" had certain characteristics, back then it didn't mean anythign else than just that and now neither means more than that, although now that I'm 36 that age gap just shortened to an almost non existen point, as liking a guy that's in his +40's it's socially speciaking very acceptable for someone my age.

Anyway, welcome to the forum.


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## Chevy396 (Jul 10, 2017)

Rachel NG said:


> It really needs to be stressed though that these are not healthy and should not be considered legitimate relationship dynamics.


Why would anyone care that some 20 year old virgin feminist thinks their lifestyle is unhealthy? I think you need to get a life and stop trying to control other ones.


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## Chevy396 (Jul 10, 2017)

I'm pretty sure the reason why I'd like to date someone around 20 years old at 37 is because I haven't ever had a child and I feel like something is missing. I spend a lot of time thinking about what I would do if I found out I had a child from when I was a teenager that I never knew about. It has nothing to do with abuse or control, but more to do with wanting to see what it feels like to teach someone about life and be a good role model for them.

I imagine (and hear) that it's the greatest high in the world to see your daughter grow up to be successful because of your influence. The sexual part just brings you closer together. Some people are going to find this creepy, but as long as the girl doesn't, that's all that matters.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

SolutionX said:


> I'm pretty sure the reason why I'd like to date someone around 20 years old at 37 is because I haven't ever had a child and I feel like something is missing. I spend a lot of time thinking about what I would do if I found out I had a child from when I was a teenager that I never knew about. It has nothing to do with abuse or control, but more to do with wanting to see what it feels like to teach someone about life and be a good role model for them.
> 
> I imagine (and hear) that it's the greatest high in the world to see your daughter grow up to be successful because of your influence. The sexual part just brings you closer together. Some people are going to find this creepy, but as long as the girl doesn't, that's all that matters.


Some people have 'wires crossed' in regards to childrearing and sexuality, they're not supposed to be but it happens. It's a proposed mechanism I came across in research for various chronophilia. It makes a lot of sense to me when I examine the behaviour, attitudes and opinions of many 'normie' guys, and to a much lesser extent some elements of my own thinking at times.

The question is how common is it? Well to some degree it's likely very common. It's probably a large part of Human sexuality but moreso on the male side (what I mean by that is women who accept or even enjoy being infantalised will be less common than the reverse in men, but probably common enough since females who aren't avoid males and reproduction, and as we know sexual preferences are passed on and run in families. But since most females historically have reproduced whether they like this or not, the effect is less pronounced compared to the male chronophilia.)

There's obviously a very chronophilic element to male sexuality. Women are looking for a good father for their kids? So father-like qualities. Whether or not they want to be one of the children in a sense as well. Men are looking for a child with breasts and a decent waist to hip ratio.

I'm sure most women would be horrified to learn you view them that way. Probably not as horrified as I am though given my knowledge of Human sexuality and how it contributes to the infantilisation of the female sex.

Gwyn reassures herself that it's all the result of social influence you see, so she blames you all for the things that horrifies her because she believes you can change if you just make the 'right' choices and go against what society has 'taught' you. In a sense she has a higher opinion of humanity and at the very least an idealistic one.

Personally I'll be in favour of engineering this out of the Human race, when it becomes time. I don't believe it's possible currently.

I'm happy there are a small number of people that deviate from certain norms it doesn't remotely balance things but it's.. Something.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> There's obviously a very chronophilic element to male sexuality. Women are looking for a good father for their kids? So father-like qualities. Men are looking for a child with breasts and a decent waist to hip ratio.


I was at the store today and saw a man shopping with his kid. He started doing cute fatherly things. Instantly became twice as attractive to me. I have a real thing for good dads. Human brains are weird.

Related: the best way to kill my libido is for a person to act like a child. I can't be attracted to someone who needs me to babysit them and/or play therapist, even though I might want to help them. Yet it seems to be sort of opposite with men. They seem to prefer and cultivate some degree of dependency in women (like the notable desire to "protect").

Various eye-rolling at the idea that sexuality is entirely a product of socialization. I think the sexuality of the opposite sex is sort of inherently distasteful (cf. all the disgust men have about female sexuality, "hypergamy", etc.). But I don't think that should be too surprising considering men and women are animals in competition for resources and have developed different reproductive strategies for exploiting each other. You can't really expect to like everything about a predator, even if the predation is mutual and necessary.


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## Sus y (Aug 30, 2017)

truant said:


> I was at the store today and saw a man shopping with his kid. He started doing cute fatherly things. Instantly became twice as attractive to me. I have a real thing for good dads. Human brains are weird.
> 
> Related: the best way to kill my libido is for a person to act like a child. I can't be attracted to someone who needs me to babysit them and/or play therapist, even though I might want to help them. Yet it seems to be sort of opposite with men. They seem to prefer and cultivate some degree of dependency in women (like the notable desire to "protect").
> 
> Various eye-rolling at the idea that sexuality is entirely a product of socialization. I think the sexuality of the opposite sex is sort of inherently distasteful (cf. all the disgust men have about female sexuality, "hypergamy", etc.). But I don't think that should be too surprising considering men and women are animals in competition for resources and have developed different reproductive strategies for exploiting each other. You can't really expect to like everything about a predator, even if the predation is mutual and necessary.


I see nothing weird in women finding attractive a man that's good with kids, that's actually very common, it's somehow a projection of a desire for a family (even if you aren't planning to have kids). I find good daddies very attractive, however, I wouldn't get in between any married one, it's troublesome also, I'm not competitive at all in that sense etc. I'm with you in finding men acting as kids very unattractive, although I find ok to be a bit silly and have fun, but not beyond that. I don't find either weird that some men want to protect their partner, considering the evolutionary aspects of us, I don't care what any feminist would say, but I find also terribly attractive a man that's willing to treat their special one as a special one. I kind of have a motto for this: If you carry some bags for me or do things that I'm not stronger for, if you treat me well, I'll open the door for you, I'll pull your chair, whatever you ask, it's not a gender thing, it's more like one of convenience.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

truant said:


> I was at the store today and saw a man shopping with his kid. He started doing cute fatherly things. Instantly became twice as attractive to me. I have a real thing for good dads. Human brains are weird.
> 
> Related: the best way to kill my libido is for a person to act like a child. I can't be attracted to someone who needs me to babysit them and/or play therapist, even though I might want to help them. Yet it seems to be sort of opposite with men. They seem to prefer and cultivate some degree of dependency in women (like the notable desire to "protect").
> 
> Various eye-rolling at the idea that sexuality is entirely a product of socialization. I think the sexuality of the opposite sex is sort of inherently distasteful (cf. all the disgust men have about female sexuality, "hypergamy", etc.). But I don't think that should be too surprising considering men and women are animals in competition for resources and have developed different reproductive strategies for exploiting each other. You can't really expect to like everything about a predator, even if the predation is mutual and necessary.


It's weird for me because I don't want what men are offering and I'm not very attracted to the female sex either, so it probably makes being disgusted a lot easier. Because there is no mutuality for me and it would be impossible for there to be because of my psychology. The entire 'system' disgusts me though.

I'm just torn between wanting to re-engineer the Human race or getting the **** off your (not your specifically,) planet really tbh.

I don't know what my brain is but it's not Human. Not in anything but the loosest definition.


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## The Scrub Ducky (Apr 4, 2017)

Go for it who cares...

I'm 31...I've dated 18-19 year olds many times. Usually just fwb type of stuff. And ya theres some added excitement when theyre younger. The youngest was 12 years younger...31 she was 18. 

I've also dated older too. Also usually fwb relationships lol. Dont remember how much of a gap, but definitely 10+ years older. And there was added excitement when theyre older too. 

I skimmed and people were saying something about doing it to control younger girls...I'm always the one in control, older or younger or same age 

also its different dating 18-25 yr olds than same age or older women. id say its hardest to date 18-25 yr olds...and easiest to date older 40+ women. So if youre inexperienced in dating, not confident and thinking you'll feel more empowered with an 18 yr old, you're probably the type that will get eaten alive..


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## chrissyq3838 (Feb 23, 2018)

SolutionX said:


> I'm pretty sure the reason why I'd like to date someone around 20 years old at 37 is because I haven't ever had a child and I feel like something is missing. I spend a lot of time thinking about what I would do if I found out I had a child from when I was a teenager that I never knew about. It has nothing to do with abuse or control, but more to do with wanting to see what it feels like to teach someone about life and be a good role model for them.
> 
> I imagine (and hear) that it's the greatest high in the world to see your daughter grow up to be successful because of your influence. The sexual part just brings you closer together. Some people are going to find this creepy, but as long as the girl doesn't, that's all that matters.


you sound like youre trolling?


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## Chevy396 (Jul 10, 2017)

chrissyq3838 said:


> you sound like youre trolling?


So do you. Don't hate just because I have a good sex life. This daddy thing is like crack to college girls. It's good to be "daddy" when college girls are addicted to you.


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

SolutionX said:


> So do you. Don't hate just because I have a good sex life. This daddy thing is like crack to college girls. It's good to be "daddy" when college girls are addicted to you.


New rule: everyone with a good interpersonal sex life does not qualify for SAS membership.


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## faithnomore (Feb 12, 2018)

pink rose said:


> @faithnomore , You can date anyone you want provided they are of legal age and you shouldn't let anyone in this thread or in general make you feel bad for it. It's not against the law and others shouldn't care.


I don't even want to date a 19-20 yr old anymore. I was talking to some and they were so boring/didn't know what they wanted. But I would most definitely get with a 21 or 22 year old. Don't really care what the losers gotta say about that though.


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## Explorer5 (May 25, 2016)

Kalakotkas said:


> What if the guy in question has never been in a relationship? Would it be wrong to look for someone less experienced, just to do not feel completely inadeguate? It can be a self-esteem issue, but it doesn't put necessarely the older one in a position of manipulative control. It's simply scary to think that most of the women you encounter have much more life experience than you, when you're an old virgin (speaking for myself here).
> 
> I'm aware though that the age gap is difficult to cover culturally speaking.


This is the same with me. I developed a chronic illness in my mid-teens, that then led to bad mental health issues and stunted my development. While I'd date someone who wasn't strictly a virgin (I'm not technically one myself, either), I would only get turned on being with someone who shares a great deal of the wonder and curiosity about love and sex that typical teenagers do.

When typically-developing people my age discuss their dating exploits, the dominant attitude is this been-there-done-that, horribly jaded view on things that's a total turn-off. As desperate as I am for a relationship, I'd rather look at artistic nudes and fantasize that they are having the first taste of love with me than date THOSE people.

And this attitude carries over into all other kinds of areas of life. People are so cynical, so "un-dreamy" and "un-innocent", I worry that I'm going to be driven to pedophilia unless I at least make some friends who are at a similar stage of their romantic development.


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## master32 (Jul 13, 2017)

If you ask me that is OK. Just my 2 cents. Last girl was 14 years younger than me, she was 20, me 34


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## SwtSurrender (Nov 24, 2014)

Is it weird that I want to date someone who is 50 years older? FukNo! You want a tight *** you go get it my man! One life to live, I'd rather have all the tight *** I can get myself into!


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## EggsBenedict (Dec 28, 2017)

I guess not, considering the fact that I'm 34 and stuck on a 21 year old girl that is a dead end opportunity. One who couldn't be more different than me at that.

Then again, my lack of contact with any available women in my life leads to that kind of obsession.


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## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

The only issue is that most people your age probably prefer something a bit serious. Whereas that isn't typically the case for your average 18/19/early 20 something-year-old.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

Women my age, yeah there's a problem there:

1. They take up weird crafts (making weird retro dresses that look a bit ****)

2. They become prickly

3. They don't like Bob

So 10 years younger is pretty much ideal imo.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Oh I already posted here about how a lot of guys want to date a child with sizable breasts and a good waist to hip ratio lol.

Well technically I was responding to someone else though other than the OP.

From what I've noticed the older men get the more they prefer women younger than them. Pretty sure ideally (on average,) men want to date females 15/16-22 regardles of age (and that's why,) but sexual taboos have a small effect even on male sexuality (I think.)

So from what I remember the OP was likely not a legit poster but from what I remember he said his preferences go a bit beyond what I've said here and are like this:

https://www.medicaldaily.com/scienc...g-and-sleepy-women-flings-not-marriage-240567



> In a follow-up study, researchers wanted to determine whether there was a specific type of man who was most attuned to female 'exploitability' cues by measuring personality traits in the men themselves and found that more promiscuous men who also lacked in personal empathy and warmth were the ones most attuned to female 'exploitability' cues, suggesting that not all men are sleazy when it comes to getting laid.


So anyway it isn't weird but I find weird better because I'm literally Satan.


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## Chevy396 (Jul 10, 2017)

It is weird if you're between eighteen to thirty. Any older than that the 10 year age gap is frowned upon by jealous women, but not really weird.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

I think it's weird that anybody should give a crap about what others think as long as it is between two consenting adults of legal age.


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## Edwirdd (May 12, 2018)

pedobear.gif


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## Lonely Hobbit (Aug 31, 2009)

Ten years really isn't that big of a difference. Bashar al-Assad is 10 years older than his wife Asma and they've been happily married for 18 years.


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## TheOriginalBlah (Mar 17, 2018)

Not if you are older than 28! And living in California.

I don't know what the laws in other states are. Lol.


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## TheOriginalBlah (Mar 17, 2018)

I have this problem too cause I just LOOK so dang young myself, I actually can't help it and tbh I think people know individual factors can apply.

This is a new era. WE got lot of mixed race, new races, and some races look young.


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## BobbyByThePound (Apr 4, 2012)

faithnomore said:


> before anyone says I'm a pedophile, I'm 29 and I rather date someone whos in their late teens or early 20's. my parents are 20 years apart and I value both of them. I know a lot of people wouldn't want to date with this big of a gap, but I think it would be neat.


lol no that's not weird at all. I wouldn't mind a 19-year-old lol.

It's normal for guys to like younger girls and for girls to like older guys. People only act like that's shocking because society (specifically, Western society) has become so far removed from what is natural. It's as though it's at war against nature.


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## AmbiValenzia (May 20, 2014)

I'm surprised by the amount of **** threads like this are getting. I can totally understand why someone in our situation rather would be with someone who is also inexperienced, and therefore must be younger then yourself.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

BobbyByThePound said:


> lol no that's not weird at all. I wouldn't mind a 19-year-old lol.
> 
> It's normal for guys to like younger girls and for girls to like older guys. People only act like that's shocking because society (specifically, Western society) has become so far removed from what is natural. It's as though it's at war against nature.


 https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naturalistic_fallacy

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Appeal_to_nature

I don't think anyone finds it 'shocking' btw. It's very common.


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## Furiosa (Jun 2, 2015)

I don't see a problem with it personally, ten years isnt a huge amount really and 29 isnt exactly old, me personally I still looked and acted like a teenager anyway at that age. I think it's different if it were someone say mid 30's or 40, then you do have to wonder what you could possibly have in common when they are old enough to be your parent. Maybe alright as a fling / hook up, but nothing serious.



I've always tended to attract the advances of people older than me. When I was 17 for a good year or so I had a **** buddy who was in their mid 30's, then when i was 19 I was in a relationship with someone in their 30's, and I also had sex with a few other people older than me after that. I have no regrets as the young person in that situation, I was of consenting age and knew what I was doing.


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## BobbyByThePound (Apr 4, 2012)

Persephone The Dread said:


> https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naturalistic_fallacy
> 
> https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Appeal_to_nature
> 
> I don't think anyone finds it 'shocking' btw. It's very common.


I see. So you're anti-nature?

I am for nature. Wikipedia can say what it wants- Wikipedia is biased. I don't think it's a fallacy at all to be for nature.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

BobbyByThePound said:


> I see. So you're anti-nature?
> 
> I am for nature. Wikipedia can say what it wants- Wikipedia is biased. I don't think it's a fallacy at all to be for nature.


lol 'wikipedia' (anyone can edit most articles btw,) didn't come up with those, it's just documenting them.

You know when people say stuff like this? (Stephen Fry's position here isn't unpopular btw.)






Well imo God, and certainly the Abrahamic God, does not exist. So all that cruel stuff being described is nature. So why should you assume something is 'good' because it's natural? That's rhetorical, in your case you're religious so you probably believe everything bad is part of a higher plan or something and that anything you see as natural is automatically good. I mean except when it isn't. Or it's something you dislike. Then it's evil or sin or haram or something right?

But nature isn't 'good' or 'bad' and it definitely isn't 'evil' because these are all just Human constructs. Apparently we evolved to have opinions and give a **** and to try and create and destroy and reform, and restructure things and disagree and agree with each other about everything, that's all natural too.


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## Chevy396 (Jul 10, 2017)

"Wikipedia is biased". LMAO that is the funniest thing I heard all day, and I think I'll use it as my signature.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

No matter how old I get I never tire of tasty teens!


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