# Would you date someone with no friends?



## adh16 (Jan 15, 2011)

Would you? How do you think you'd feel about them if they have no friends? What do you expect of them? What if you're the one with no friends (or no close friends)? How do you react when the question comes up: "so what are your friends like?"

Personally, I'm the one with no friends. I've also been getting no recent dates. I think it's due to my online dating profiles not having any pictures of me with random females at parties and stuff like that.


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## joe11 (Jan 22, 2011)

I wouldn't reject someone just because of that. It would be what they are like as a person overall that would matter to me.

If I didn't see you for example with pics of you with other girls at parties or whatever that would not bother me at all.

Anyway don't worry as I am in a pretty similar position to you anyway.


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

I did... a few times... it didn't matter at all... I have one local friend and as long as they weren't upset by the few times I'd actually do something with her then we were OK.


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## General Specific (Mar 4, 2008)

I would date a girl without friends as I don't even consider it a relevant issue.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

joe11 said:


> I wouldn't reject someone just because of that. It would be what they are like as a person overall that would matter to me.


This exactly.
I don't see any reason to have that be a deciding factor.
All it depends on is how we got along.

But I'm in much the same position myself.


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## pariahgirl (Mar 26, 2008)

I think to people who are outgoing, someone who has no friends is seen as an oddity. To be honest it makes no difference to me, but it is nice if the person you are with is willing to try to make friends as a couple and go to social events together. It gets a little boring just staying in a bubble with someone all day every day. But no someone doesn't have to be popular to be a great person, having no friends shouldn't make a difference.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

sure, as long as they don't have secret friends locked in the basement.


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## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)

yep I would. Makes no difference to me.


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

Logan X said:


> sure, as long as they don't have secret friends locked in the basement.


Oh, dam - I'm out... lol j/k.


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

i wouldnt mind dating someone with no friends


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## Vip3r (Dec 7, 2010)

It would not matter to me. All that would matter would be the person I am dating, not how many friends they do or don't have.


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## Syncsolo (Oct 26, 2010)

I'd have zero issues with dating someone with no friends, not to generalise but more women wouldn't date a guy with no friends in my experience. As long as you make each other happy mentally and physically it really isn't a problem though. 

It's just finding someone you click with.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

adh16 said:


> Would you?


Sure, why not?



adh16 said:


> How do you think you'd feel about them if they have no friends?


Couldn't care less.



adh16 said:


> What do you expect of them?


I don't really have a checklist or anything



adh16 said:


> What if you're the one with no friends (or no close friends)?


So what?



adh16 said:


> How do you react when the question comes up: "so what are your friends like?"


I just tell them I don't have any friends. If they don't like that they can go away.


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## Brightpaperwarewolf (Oct 16, 2008)

That would be highly attractive to me. Personally the whole hitting on a woman with their girlfriends is so messed up. It's like they depend on each other, but they are jealous of each other. I have a one-track mind, I cannot handle flirting with everyone, only with a woman I like. 

It usually ends up in my few experiences, her friend(s) gets jealous and start making stuff up about me. Some of the stuff I heard about what they said are simply ridiculous. One time, one of them claimed I touched some woman's *** when that's simply the furtherest thing I can do, I'm too anxious to even attempt something like that.


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

Sure. As long as they weren't too dependent on me, or got annoyed at me for spending time with my friends.



Brightpaperwarewolf said:


> That would be highly attractive to me. Personally the whole hitting on a woman with their girlfriends is so messed up. It's like they depend on each other, but they are jealous of each other. I have a one-track mind, I cannot handle flirting with everyone, only with a woman I like.


I've never understood how someone can hit on more than one person in one night. I've seen some of my guy friends do it. They come off as pretty damn desperate. I think it really diminishes the special playfulness of flirting. What's the point if you or the girl is doing it with every other member of the opposite sex? Maybe we're just "one woman" guys if you get what I mean. But I digress. I'll stop rambling off topic now :b


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## solasum (Nov 17, 2008)

I get turned off when I see pictures of people with their friends.


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## Brightpaperwarewolf (Oct 16, 2008)

Rixy said:


> Sure. As long as they weren't too dependent on me, or got annoyed at me for spending time with my friends.
> 
> I've never understood how someone can hit on more than one person in one night. I've seen some of my guy friends do it. They come off as pretty damn desperate. I think it really diminishes the special playfulness of flirting. What's the point if you or the girl is doing it with every other member of the opposite sex? Maybe we're just "one woman" guys if you get what I mean. But I digress. I'll stop rambling off topic now :b


I whole heartily agree with you. I enjoy that playfulness of flirting and in order to do that, it has to be with a woman I truly like and has to be with one who's willing to reciprocate. But the only thing I can suggest is just let go and just be open. Otherwise you'll end up like me, 27 and still unable to go comfortably up to a woman and show romantic interest. You have to be able to show her friends you are a good guy, in my case, I understand why women would reject me I'm not good, but in the case of the rest of you, just go out there and find her.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

Most socially normal people would rather not date someone with little to no social life simply because it's unlikely for them to be the same page. If you have person "A" who loves to go out and party, and then you have person "B" who sits at home all day, every day ...it's not going to work.

Would I date someone with no friends? Yes, you bet I would. That actually sounds ideal to me because I don't really have any friends either, so it really takes the pressure off of me.


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## Destined2B (Jan 6, 2011)

Hmmm...interesting question. Not having any friends my self, I'd actually prefer someone with friends so that I can meet people and become comfortable. Honestly though, meeting someone attractive without any friends is very very unlikely. I doubt I'll stumble upon these people in my lifetime.


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## keithp (Mar 13, 2007)

Sure, why not? If you like eachother and enjoy each others company them that takes the place of what friends are for.

I would date someone with friends to, it would be ideal if they only had a few close friends instead of so many friends you can't count them all.


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## KennethJones (Jun 22, 2009)

Its not that people wouldn't date someone with no friends. Its just that those with no friends tend to be the people who are isolated and have no personality. Unfortunately that is considered to be unattractive by most people.


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## King Moonracer (Oct 12, 2010)

i would definitely. It would show that they are different in some way, and different is good, and that they have hidden attributes which are waiting to be uncovered haha....just like me.

And if u look good thats a plus.


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## layitontheline (Aug 19, 2009)

Absolutely. I'd actually prefer dating someone who had a very small or non-existent social circle. 

I was asked about my friends the other day, and it is indeed a tough question for a person who essentially has none like myself. I basically just came out and said I'm a loner because I trusted the person not to judge me. My answer will vary according to who I'm talking to though. With most people I would fuzz the truth a bit.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

It would make me more comfortable to date them, unless they had just moved and I thought they would find better people soon.


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## Josh90 (Aug 22, 2008)

I'd prefer it, but her having a few friends wouldn't bother me.


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## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

Just getting a date would be a start for me.


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## cooldude03 (Jul 28, 2007)

When I date someone, it's because of the qualities that person has to offer, not who is on the friend role. A person could have great friends, but if we don't get along, I still wouldn't want to date her. If you put a bunch of pics that make you seem like a party girl, you will attract guys who want that which are precisely the guys you won't have anything in common with. You will have fallen victim to social desirability trap that we need certain traits in order to be happy, when in fact there is much more happiness to be found in independence and freedom from mindless conformity. We don't all need to pretend to be THAT guy or THAT girl in order to be happy. We must form our own partnerships and pave our own ways forward. There are many, many men out there with few friends who would love to date someone who won't overwhelm him with being pressured to put on a show for a never ending list of friends to impress.


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## Paragon (Apr 13, 2010)

I wouldn't care, but i get the feeling this is one of those things girls care about more than guys (how social their partner is i mean).


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## joe11 (Jan 22, 2011)

Paragon said:


> I wouldn't care, but i get the feeling this is one of those things girls care about more than guys (how social their partner is i mean).


I'm screwed then. :b

But in addition to what I said further up about me not minding, I would guess that most people on these forums will think that too due the majority if not all users on here having social difficulties. A more outgoing person though may have a different view.


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## MaddyRose (Dec 25, 2009)

I would be more interested in them as a person. The only con would be that they couldn't introduce you to a new group of people, but whatever :stu


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## melissa75 (Feb 16, 2010)

It doesn't bother me if the guy doesn't have any friends. What would bother me is if he has tons of friends and practically forces me out every weekend to hang out with different groups of them. That would NOT work for me at all. A few select friends is perfect in my mind. And, they don't have to be "close". It just doesn't matter. What really matters is that he is willing to experience things with me like go to the movies/sporting events, travel, hiking, skiing, etc.

When I'm asked about my friends, I just say that most of mine have moved away and that I have a few at work. Just kind of blur the lines a little. Luckily, I do have one close friend, but she actually does live in a different state.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I'm pretty sure someone with little or no friends would understand me far better than someone with a lot so that's not an issue for me but why they have few or no friends might be of significance. For example if their character/attitude is particularly rude or something of that nature


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## Misanthropic (Jun 25, 2010)

If anything, I would prefer it. I wouldn't want to date an extroverted, social 'butterfly'.


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## equiiaddict (Jun 27, 2006)

I wouldn't _not_ date someone because of that, it would be really shallow of me. Who cares if they have 50 friends, 1 friend or 0 friends, doesn't matter to me. And tbh, I'd definitely prefer it over dating an really outgoing person who hangs around people all the time.


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## fallingdownonmyface (Dec 3, 2006)

Yup


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## TRENNER (Sep 21, 2009)

Having _zero_ friends wouldn't be an automatic dealbreaker, but would worry me. There's a reason for the "friend" part in the word "girlfriend". A major part of human love relationships is the friendship component. A person who has trouble with friendships is likely to have problems with dating and marriage as well.

Note that this wouldn't be a concern with someone who just has a few friends.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

As long as she isn't very needy.


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

I'm not sure. Girls with no friends tend to be clingy, needy and desperate in my somewhat limited experience.......whereas im the complete opposite to that, despite having no friends too.


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

KennethJones said:


> Its not that people wouldn't date someone with no friends. Its just that those with no friends tend to be the people who are isolated and have no personality. Unfortunately that is considered to be unattractive by most people.


If you have no friends you have no personality? Because, after all, we only exist if other people say we do? Don't we?

No. We don't automatically have no personality just because we find ourselves in a situation with no friends.

And no. IT's not considered unattractive by most people. Again with the most people assumptions and guesses.

People with no friends are not automatically unattractive.


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## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

Depends. Sure, if they are content being solitary, which few rarely are. But if they're clingy emotional spazzcases - then um... F*** no.


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## ImHiding (Dec 7, 2010)

Absolutely--I don't have many friends myself, so it'd be pretty *****in.


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## Spindrift (Mar 3, 2011)

Of course. It would be the easiest thing in the world to empathize with, seeing as I have no friends myself.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

I wouldn't care if they had no friends, even though I have friends of my own, they can hang out with me, and together we can make new friends, as a team. I think if 2 people both had no friends, it can lead to co-dependency in the budding relationship, or boredom eventually...


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## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

K, I would totally date someone without up close and personal friends. I assume you're talking about the kind you hang out with A LOT. I personally don't hang out with people much, so that wouldn't bother me. HOWEVER, would expect hem to allow me some alone time or time with other people and away from them from time to time. And I would allow the same for them. But yeah, totally.


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## LifeGoesOn (Feb 7, 2011)

Yeah, I would date someone with no friends, as long as we're not together 24/7, otherwise we might grow too dependent on each other.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

rdrr said:


> I wouldn't care if they had no friends, even though I have friends of my own, they can hang out with me, and together we can make new friends, as a team. I think if 2 people both had no friends, it can lead to co-dependency in the budding relationship, or boredom eventually...


Yes, that is what I've always thought. Because ideally/realistically any girl I get into a relationship with will not only be a girlfriend to me but a friend in general. It starts with friendship, and it doesn't suddenly disappear. Well said dude.


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## daniel1989 (Feb 14, 2011)

It doesn't matter.


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## watashi (Feb 6, 2008)

If I like the person, then sure. No friends means most of their evenings will be free to spend with me.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Since I have no friends myself, it would be hypocritical of me to judge someone based on that.


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## krista91 (Feb 11, 2011)

A bit pointless asking from people who don't have many friends themselves, innit? :lol


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## shynesshellasucks (May 10, 2008)

Yup, I might prefer it actually.


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## Kakaka (Apr 7, 2010)

Of course, it wouldn't be an issue at all.


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## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

I don't think I've ever been interested in a girl who _did_ have a large group of friends. So absolutely, it's a preference. I mean, it's certainly not a requirement that she have none at all. But I think what's particularly important to me is that she's not part of "the crowd" -- that is, the typical bar-hopping, partying, shallow, mind-numbingly conformist college crowd. If she has a few friends who aren't like that, it's no problem.


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

This wouldn't be a problem. You can always make new friends.


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## brianNicholas (Feb 16, 2011)

anomalous said:


> I don't think I've ever been interested in a girl who _did_ have a large group of friends. So absolutely, it's a preference. I mean, it's certainly not a requirement that she have none at all. But I think what's particularly important to me is that she's not part of "the crowd" -- that is, the typical bar-hopping, partying, shallow, mind-numbingly conformist college crowd. If she has a few friends who aren't like that, it's no problem.


^ this. having no friends whatsoever is actually a turn off for me, but everything else you said, as far as being in "the crowd," i agree with. i would be intimidated and uncomfortable. she needs to have a few good friends though.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I wouldn't mind as long as some of them liked me - I guess a certain percentage would be my threshold :hide.


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## zebra00 (Dec 28, 2010)

i would date someone with no friends but i know PLENTY of people wouldn't especially extroverts and ESPECIALLY female extroverts..


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

Yes, providing he has his own life and doesn't try to suffocate me. 

IOW, I don't want to be his "whole world."


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## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

I think I already have lol One girl i was with never talked about her friends or anything like that so i just assume looking back on it that maybe she had none it didnt matter to me. Actually i never even realized it at the time just didn't seem important. As long as they dont get too clingy/obsessive its fine with me.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

I think the people here are biased to be understanding, since we know how hard it can be to make friends. 

Of course, it would make no difference to me. I'm friendless, as well.

- Homers.


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## mooncake (Jan 29, 2008)

Wouldn't bother me at all. In fact, it would make things easier in many ways, being that I don't have any friends of my own and so wouldn't be constantly reminded of what I'm missing out on, as well as me being able to skip all the terrifying 'meet the friends' formalities.

The person I'm in a relationship with now does have a few close friends, unlike me, but like me he's also typically happier spending time away from other people, so in that respect we're both pretty extreme homebodies. As such, we do spend a lot of time around each other since we now live together and neither of us tends to go out much unless we absolutely have to, him rarely going out to socialise and I _never_ doing so, but it doesn't feel suffocating at all. It's just right for us, since we both like to do our own thing and have separate rooms for each of our stuff. So having no friends needn't mean the relationship is doomed to fail because of clingyness. Some people, like me, might just generally prefer to be alone and I don't think that's indicative of someone being unsuitable as a partner (though I'm aware that for some people it does throw up a red flag).

Of course, as has been said, most of us are going to be a little biased here so I'm not sure how the general populace would feel about a potential partner being friendless. From the fact that some of us here have partners who don't have SA, though, and that these partners don't seem to mind the fact that we have little or no experience of friendships, I'd say some people are evidently not too concerned about how many friends a person has.

Personally, I've never been able to understand the kinds of people who have some sort of checklist in their minds about what attributes a potential partner must/musn't have in order to be dateable... what happened to just going with the flow and seeing if a connection is there? Even if I try to picture myself SA-free and with friends of my own, if I liked someone and there weren't any major obstacles in the way of us being together, I can't see myself letting something like number of friends affect how I felt for someone and my desire to pursue a relationship with them. After all, it's _them_ I'm interested in, not their social circle.


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## trendyfool (Apr 11, 2010)

It really depends on the circumstances for me. Ideally I'd want my boyfriend to be social. I'd want to fall in love with someone who could show me the world and introduce me to new things and new people. I feel that if I dated someone else with social anxiety, we'd build up our own private world, and that would feel stifling after a while. I have a tendency to isolate myself, and I'd want my significant other to balance out that tendendy, not make it stronger.

Of course if it were the right person, I guess that wouldn't matter as much? But the circumstances would have to be special.


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## polardude18 (Oct 13, 2009)

I really don't see how many friends they have matters, most people have friends but then some people don't. Many people with social anxiety still have friends and I am sure there are some social people in the world who just never happened to make friends. I really don't believe how many friends a person has is at all an issue.


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## sacred (May 25, 2009)

of course i would. i would be a hypocrite if i didnt and so would any of the ladies on here if they rejected me because of my lack of friends.

i would rather be social fodder than a hypocrite. ladies repeat this ten times and then come see your androgodaddy at the ranch.


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## arpeggiator (Jan 6, 2011)

I don't mind if she has no friends. Friends are for her, to spend her time, not for me. The fact that a girl hasn't friends does not say me anything about how she is.


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## stranger25 (Apr 29, 2010)

Paragon said:


> I wouldn't care, but i get the feeling this is one of those things girls care about more than guys (how social their partner is i mean).


Yup. And don't let them tell you otherwise. You might find a couple who don't mind, but the majority will just think of you as some psychopath who everybody hates and will use it against you to reject you. It's part of how the game is rigged against us guys.


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## Hello22 (Feb 10, 2010)

I wouldnt mind, as long as we got on thats the main thing


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

I'm going to deviate from the general consensus a bit here. First, I will say that a girl having no friends would not make her any less desirable to me at all, considering that I also have no friends and I know that there's nothing inherently wrong with having no friends, and in fact has some up sides.

However, some practical considerations might make me hesitate a bit. My SA is quite severe and it always has been. I'm afraid that having a girl who was similar to me in this regard would be bad for both of us. Without someone to help introduce me to new people and new social opportunities, I would probably stagnate in this state and not be challenged to break through my difficulties. And I know from experience that being alone all the time and having mental stagnation affects every aspect of my life, including my work and my general mental flexibility. That's why I would prefer to have a girl who is somewhat comfortable socially.

But that's not to say necessarily that I want an 'outgoing' girl. In fact a shy girl would be ideal - just not one as shy as me. But considering how incredibly shy I am, I don't think that will ever be an issue.


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## bobbie010 (Mar 5, 2011)

I don't have any friends >.< so I shouldn't be the one to complain about it..


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

Preferably.


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## Emanresu (Jun 2, 2010)

If she was willing to become friends with my friends, yes. If not then no, I don't think I could be someone's only outlet, not good for them or for me.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

I don't care since I'm in the same boat. It would make me hypocritical if I'd reject someone because of that.


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## i just want luv (Feb 13, 2011)

Call me selfish but I kind of prefer it this way.


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## bbarn (Dec 22, 2007)

i wouldn't mind at all, as long as she got along with the family


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