# Fear of the Phone...



## strange1986 (Sep 30, 2006)

this is a big thing i know... the fear of the phone... 

i just aviod it at all cost!! i mean it... i have an anxiety attack just thinking about using the phone... i'd rather pay a bigger bill then call and ask about things i'm paying for, that i don't need... i rather sit at this computer 24/7 then call and get an appointment to see a doc... when at work i make others answer the phone and if i absolutely HAVE to answer it i'l take a deep breathe answer it and make it as short as possible...

but you know what, i barely hear what the other person is saying on the phone, probably because i am so nervous... i had a boyfriend break up with me over the phone and i didn't realize till 2 hours later when i was at my friends house and he called there to talk to my friend's older sister... my friend answered and was like "My sis isn't here but your GF is... What?(turns to me) i didn't know you guys broke up!!" i was like i didn't know either... 

HOW EMBRASSING!!

I HATE THE PHONE I REALLY DO!! WHO CAME UP WITH THE STUPID THING ANYWAY!! LOL...


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## droplet (May 21, 2006)

I hate it too. Thank god for email.


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## strange1986 (Sep 30, 2006)

droplet said:


> I hate it too. Thank god for email.


that's what i was thinking but i left it out, lol


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

I despise telephone conversations. Honestly, I haven't had one in six years.


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## Mary674 (Jul 27, 2006)

I hate it when I don't know well the person who calls. What I normally do if I'm at home is that I wait for the recorder(is that the english word?) to take the call then when I hear the person's voice if I know him or her I answer and if not I don't. lol
And if they don't leave a message, it wasn't that important!
How pathetic is that?


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## incogneto_one (Oct 10, 2006)

I hate talking on the phone! Especially to "strangers" or people I'm not close to. Actually, I have to make a phone call to a doctor's office today and I'm dreading it. It took me about two weeks to call them back and get results from a test. Now, I have to schedule an appointment with a specialist...

:hide


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## archaic (Jan 16, 2006)

I've cried having to make phone calls before. I've got two voice mails I haven't listened to yet and I received two calls while I was in class today. I haven't checked to see who those last two are from yet, and I'm not looking forward to it either.


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## IndigoGirl (Aug 13, 2006)

I never have conversations on the phone anymore. More because I get sick of it than I'm frightened of it. I do get really anxious and procrastinate on making appointments and such, though.


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## Mozzie (Jun 6, 2006)

I never ever answer the phone either. It's voice mail or nothing if you want to get hold of me!

It's funny, because my family (who are the only ones to ring anyway) think I'm always out partying because I never answer the phone. If only they knew.


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## neddy (Jul 3, 2006)

I used to have a fear of the phone but it is slowly getting better again. Sometimes it used to take me all day to get the courage to dial the number and then I would hang up before the person spoke as I was shaking too much. In the end it would take several days to make a 5 min phone call which turned out to be no where near as scary as I was thinking it would be.

It's alot easier now. I dont worry so much about it now. The person on the other end cant see me. i've noticed that I tend to mumble when I'm nervous though.


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

i don't like talking on the phone because i hate the sound of my voice. i have never really bothered to memorize numbers, not even my home phone number (why bother when you hardly leave the house), either. i just hated having to call this girl for tutoring last semester. i didn't even know the number for my phone to give her. she had to look it up in the phone because i couldn't figure out how to do that. lol i had to prepare myself every time and would have to take dozens of breathes before calling. my heart always pounded too. i wish i could've just contacted her by email instead. having a fear of the phone has also made it difficult for me to want to get a job. i need the money, but i just don't want to have to talk on the phone.


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## GuyMTSU82 (Oct 17, 2006)

*I though I was the only one that hated the phone!*

I know that social anxiety is semi common but the phone thing I thought was just a weird phobia I had or something... I'm going to graduate MTSU in December and I should have been calling organizations attempting to line up a possible career but I always find an excuse NOT to do it and procrastinate further. I'm afriad I'll sound like an idiot and/or be like a deer in headlights so I avoid the situation all together. Does anyone have advice to help get through this?

Chris


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## caprice (Oct 29, 2005)

I hate making phone calls. There are always awkward silences, and on the phone they become even more awkward because you can't use body language or anything.

If I need to speak to a company or something, I either email them or go down to speak in person. Sometimes they're a bit shocked if they've asked me to give them a call, and I turn up on their doorstep instead.


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## strange1986 (Sep 30, 2006)

i make my mom call... its the one thing she does for me... she called to see if my contacts were in just a hour ago... lol...


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## sansd (Mar 22, 2006)

I tried to make a phone call to cancel an appointment a few days ago, but I felt too anxious waiting on hold not knowing when someone would come on the line and I would have to interact with them that I hung up and just missed the appointment (and will have to pay extra for it).


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## Lostsoul (Nov 18, 2004)

Phone calls used to kill me, thank god for the medication I"m taking. Life is a ***** competely unfair. I wish I could help you guys.


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## paranoid (Oct 17, 2006)

the phone is one of the hardest things for me. I'd rather talk to someone face to face than on the phone. My anxiety gets so bad on the phone that my voice comes out weak and weird sounding and my thoughts are all jumbled, I can only imagine how bizarre I must sound to the person on the other line! just the thought of making a call makes my anxiety start acting up


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## strange1986 (Sep 30, 2006)

paranoid said:


> the phone is one of the hardest things for me. I'd rather talk to someone face to face than on the phone. My anxiety gets so bad on the phone that my voice comes out weak and weird sounding and my thoughts are all jumbled, I can only imagine how bizarre I must sound to the person on the other line! just the thought of making a call makes my anxiety start acting up


exactly... that what it is for me, and i'm sure many others... i also tend to not catch what the other person is saying... i don't hear it, only parts of it...

most embrassessing story, my boyfriend in highschool broke up with me over the phone, i didn't know til 4 hours after the call... i was at a friend's house and he call to talk to my friend's older sister(we were all friends together). my friends said 'oh she's not here but your GF is here.... ...' she turns to me and says 'you didn't tell me you guys broke up.' i was like 'i didn't know...' and thats when it dawned on me, thats what he meant by 'make more friends'

yeah i hate the phone!


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## Lovely but demure (Oct 31, 2006)

I can sort of understand because sometimes I get nervous but only if I am talking to someone I really like and I sort of want for them to find me interesting. Other than that I love the phone because they can't see me blushing if I get embarrassed. Just tell yourself they can't tell how nervous you are on the phone, they can't see you and you can just hang up by saying something came up say you'll have to just call back. What I really don't like is making announcements on loudspeaker that large groups of people can hear, I mean what if you mess up, how embarrassing.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

Im horrible on the phone and I hate the phone. My conversations are usually kept under 30 seconds.


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## staceypie (Nov 2, 2006)

HATE hate hate the phone, when it rings I groan, look and see who it is then most the time not answer. Even if it is my best friend who I am close to, I just cannot talk to her on the phone like a normal person. In person though I am comfortable with her, just the phone I cannot handle. I mumble, there's lots of pauses, I probably sound like an incoherent idiot. 

Think I would rather just answer it than call someone back though, that's just the worse for me. Especially hate it when someone else besides the person you are calling for answers the phone. Sometimes feel like hanging up when that happens, dunno why.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Hahah I love you guys, really. I can totally relate. I dread using the phone, but it's one of those things you can't completely avoid unfortunately. I'm like a nervous lil' school girl when I have to call someone I like. The conversation can go fine, but then it always gets to a point when I run out of things to say. Then there's that deafening silence where I literally pray to God to give me something to talk about. When it gets that bad, I end the conversation.
The phone sucks ***, I'd much rather write people.


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## staceypie (Nov 2, 2006)

I know, thank god for email. :nw


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## Guest (Nov 24, 2006)

Doing an internship at a PR firm I have to make calls to see if journalists are still there at the newspaper or magazine. I usually try to avoid doing it and do everything else instead.

The secretaries have a who the hell are you attitude -- they want to make sure you have a right to the information. You are made to feel like you are stealing which is totally absurd especially at a big place like Reuters or CBS.

Needless to say I do not want to go into that field. Communications and SA ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. :hide 

I have done my share of cold calling before. I get very tense but I sound okay on the phone. God do I hate it.


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## Daydreambeliever (Apr 14, 2004)

Whenever I hear the phone ring I get a sense of dread and my heart starts beating faster, I hate it. Call display has really helped though, that way I know who it is before I pick it up and I can be prepared for it, or just not pick it up at all if I don't want to talk to a specific person.


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## themousethatroared (Nov 11, 2006)

I had a geat fear of telephone conversations and at times I still do. I have improved a lot by having to make calls because either I had no one around to do it for me or I had to make the call myself. I feel more comfortable when I know what I am going to say so at times I write down notes that will help me out if I become nervous and forget what I wanted to say.


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## Mehitabel (Oct 13, 2006)

I don't pick up the phone unless I recognize the number. My boyfriend knows this, so when he's using someone's cell phone, he calls, hangs up, then calls again. I figure if someone's trying that hard to reach my house, it must be important so I answer it. 

I missed an opportunity to go into a little Photography course because I was too afraid to phone.

And just recently I had to call a friend's mum to ask if I could use her as a reference on job applications... it was terrifying. I was shaking like crazy after.


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## gingin (Dec 5, 2006)

At home I never answer the phone unless it's my kids, husband, or parents...most of the time my siblings & if they don't talk on the answering machine, I don't answer it. I procrastinate about nearly every phone call I have to make, at work too & sometimes I have to make a lot of calls. It sucks when they put you on hold, feel trapped & usually hang up after 4 minutes. Always feel like I'm bothering someone.

I don't answer the door either, unless I've invited someone. Ever since I was 18 in my first apartment. They can ring & bang for 10 minutes, don't care. It's because of 2 things - saw on Unsolved Mysteries when I was 17 a man dressed up as a gas employee & another one as a flower deliverer. The ladies answered the door & then they were killed. I decided then - screw answering the door to strangers. And I don't like my serenity screwed with at all, the comfort zone. My mom always said it was rude to show up at people's houses without them knowing ahead of time.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

I have a lot of difficulty with telephones as well. Not that anyone would actually call to speak to me, anyway.


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## MissBrownEyes (Nov 6, 2006)

Well I dont even know what to say.. I wish there was a way I could help, how about this.. if one of you REALLY REALLY wants to get over the whole "being scared" of the phone thing, you can practice on me.. call my cell phone and we'll chat, and if youre to nervous to talk, just sit there, ill sing to you or something.. im willing to help break anyones fear if I can be of help!
And im the last person you should be embarassed to talk to, i have alot of faults of my own and things that scare me that im trying to overcome as well. but like i said.. im here if you need me :hug


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## Chrysalii (Jun 24, 2006)

I can talk on the phone, I just can't dial the number to talk to anyone. If someone calls me, I'm fine with it.
But I'd rather have a guy chasing me with an axe than call someone on the phone (the axe guy I can get rid of).
Needless to say my cell phone bill is very small (just the $20 to have it).


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## Kenny (Dec 8, 2006)

I jump when the phone rings. Even the old generic ring of a phone is an alarming sound in itself.


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## work_in_progress (May 16, 2005)

I hate the phone. I don't know why. Right now, I have about 10 phone calls i really need to make & I just can't make myself do it. It's frustrating too, cuz i thought i was making progress with this. I know i have a bunch of voicemails to listen to, and i can't do that either. It's nagging in the back of my mind, but i'm just trying to distract myself.


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## Lil Miss Fire (Nov 6, 2003)

My feelings on the phone are 50/50, I'm comfortable talking on the phone if 1) its someone i like talking to, or 2) someone calls me. Lately though this has been an issue in which I have been having to challenge myself in. After my car accident I had to call lawyers, Insurance Companies, (lol there are still some calls from that I'm avoiding making) and Doctors. Then with work, I have to call my manager often, I have to call the D.M, If an issue happens and something in the store breaks I have to call it in to get fixed, if we run out of a product I have to call other stores to see if we can get some from them. So lots of having to use the phone :hide But I put off making calls for as long as I possibly can. Unless its work related cause those I can't put off.


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## Fred Kennedy (Nov 28, 2006)

*Re: re: Fear of the Phone...*



Chrysalii said:


> I can talk on the phone, I just can't dial the number to talk to anyone. If someone calls me, I'm fine with it.
> But I'd rather have a guy chasing me with an axe than call someone on the phone (the axe guy I can get rid of).
> Needless to say my cell phone bill is very small (just the $20 to have it).


Same here. The worst for me is leaving a message on the answering machine. The last time I left a message was horrible, I really made an idiot out of myself and I refuse to leave messages ever again!


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## Zebrahead (Dec 12, 2006)

This is weird..I found this site by searching for fear of phones on google. Didn't actually think I'd find anything. Yet again, discovered that it's not just me being odd, other people feel the same. I need to stop thinking I'm the only one with problems, heh.

Anyhow, I had to phone to get my bank card activated earlier, been putting it off for weeks. Finally managed to do it. Not quite as bad as I thought it was gonna be. Still got freaked out and shaky though. Ah, the things we go through.


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## Lil Miss Fire (Nov 6, 2003)

Zebrahead said:


> This is weird..I found this site by searching for fear of phones on google. Didn't actually think I'd find anything. Yet again, discovered that it's not just me being odd, other people feel the same. I need to stop thinking I'm the only one with problems, heh.


 :wels =) and your definitely not alone!


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

I hate phones. I used to get so nervous and shaky that I could barely use them. Now, I don't get nervous but somehow I still really hate them and avoid using them. 

What gets me is when therapists for my S.A. write to tell me to call them up to arrange an appointment. Duh. :doh


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## Chrysalii (Jun 24, 2006)

*Re: re: Fear of the Phone...*



Fred Kennedy said:


> Chrysalii said:
> 
> 
> > I can talk on the phone, I just can't dial the number to talk to anyone. If someone calls me, I'm fine with it.
> ...


Oh answering machiene/voice mail is the worst. I never know what to say, since I'm expecting to talk to a person, and get feedback of sorts. There is none with an answering machiene. I sound really dumb on those things.


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## OutbackJack (Dec 5, 2006)

Hi ive recently got this one myself the last yr I've been avoiding the phone Not sure how it started..... but i hate it ringing i think bad thoughts OJ


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## ThirdEyeGrind (Feb 7, 2006)

I had to make a work related call at work today. Its one of the things that I have a reallly hard time with. Yesterday was worse, i called this lady and sounded like a fool. Sounded like I was dying or something. Today was better though, I just tried to talk normal even though all I thought about was people around me listening. God do i hate work phone calls.


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## OutbackJack (Dec 5, 2006)

Most ppl say they dont notice but we do Like i know sometimes if im really anxious i actualy run outa breath those bad days , like i wont stop to catch up I noticed this the other day i was talking so much i had to stop and breath wonder if they heard it :co I dont think its a phone phobia for me i think its just SA overruling everything again in every area when im bad now i think of it .. :afr OJ


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Sorry if I'm giving advice here where none was being asked for - just my two pennorth (cents worth!)

I have the same thing, but have found a way to get round it...

I use speakerphone or a handsfree!

Sounds simple, but there is something about actually having the phone pressed to my ear, perhaps a learned response (a bit like the poster above who feels anxious just at the noise of a generic telephone sound), that is linked with the anxiety. When I break the pattern by using a handsfree or speakerphone, and am free to move around and can talk AT the phone, my anxiety disappears! No palpitations, I'm comfortable with silences, and I'm thinking through what I'm going to say ...

Hope it works for others!

In reply to *Outback Jack* - I have / had a similar issue with speaking too fast & running out of breath, both on the phone and real world. I applied this method:

(1) When the other person has finished speaking, force myself to PAUSE FOR 2 SECONDS before I open my mouth ... I found it very hard (why??? I dunno - what do I feel I need to say so bad??). Oddly I found that much better sentences 'formed' in my head.

(2) Try to insert pauses into the flow of my speech. I practised talking into a dictaphone and computer mic - first in my normal speech pattern, and then with added pauses. The 'pauses' version sounded much better, more self assured and confident, and listening back to it made me less afraid to speak at a slower rate in reality.

Ross


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## ThirdEyeGrind (Feb 7, 2006)

I have a dreadful fear of using the phone in work. My voice will shake and I'll get this reel deep shaky voice like I'm giving a presentation infront of the nation or something. Even if a family member calls, I have to talk so low cause I don't want people around me to hear me.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Zebrahead said:


> Anyhow, I had to phone to get my bank card activated earlier, been putting it off for weeks. *Finally managed to do it. Not quite as bad as I thought it was gonna be.* Still got freaked out and shaky though. Ah, the things we go through.


That's brilliant! Something like that would stick in my mind and I would remember it the next time I felt anxious about making a call. Cool!

Ross


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## swartz1193 (May 6, 2011)

making prank calls is easy though


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## atropos (Jun 27, 2011)

yeah, i hate phones...thank god for texting, otherwise i'd fall out of touch with the few people i've managed to grow close to over the years. people don't understand. i never answer my cell when it rings [it's always on silent, purposefully so]; people think you're just being rude, and it makes me feel guilty as hell.

funny thing? i work in customer service, answering phone calls! it's different, though..they're strangers, of course; i can be whoever i want to be for that phone call, and then i never have to deal with them again. been at this job for almost five years, but i still often have little fits of anxiety on my way to work.


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## Jade13 (Jul 11, 2011)

OMG! I just joined and as soon as I started browsing I saw this. I had no idea it was so common! I am absolutely, irrationally, terrified of the pone. Whenever I hear it ring I get this sick feeling in my stomach and I can't calm down till it stops. It's total dread. I'm looking for a job and when it says to call I'm totally paralyzed. 
When I have to make that occasional doctor's appt I probably write like 10 drafts of what I'm gonna say before I can even consider calling (even if I know it's just gonna be a brief call or a 20 sec message). Then I still put it off. 

I am soooo grateful for texting. And also that refilling prescriptions is totally automated (at least for my pharmacy), no threat of a real person answering.

It really sucks. I have this product for ex. that broke and it has a 2 year warranty. They didn't respond to any of the online claims I filed, but I would rather pay $50 for another possibly defective product than pick up the phone =/


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## Fantas Eyes (Mar 23, 2011)

After I messaged someone on facebook yesterday, I wondered how phone phobics fared before the internet/social networking sites. If it weren't for the internet I would have had to make a lot regarding registering for college, which would then mean I wouldn't eve go to college.


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## stevenlovett (Jul 12, 2011)

What is this modern phenomenon you speak of? I avoid the phone at all costs. I have my wife handle all phone stuff.


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## LynnNBoys (Jul 13, 2011)

I hate the phone! Thank goodness for email and Internet. And Caller ID! If I don't recognize the number or name, if one comes up--then I don't answer the phone.

I put off phone calls I need to make as long as possible. I have mini panic attacks just thinking about them. Once I finally have to make them, then I plan and rehearse what I'm going to say, sometimes I even write it down like a script.

I don't just call people to chit chat, or I haven't since I was a teenager. That's part of my problem with making and keeping friends.


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## LynnNBoys (Jul 13, 2011)

Polkadotlaughter, I worked in an office before email and Internet. In order to avoid using the phone, I would walk to everyone's office to talk to them. For some reason, face-to-face was/is slightly less anxiety-provoking than calling that same person.

Jade13, I am the same! I have at least 4 phone calls to make but I've been putting them off. Even something simple like rescheduling my dentist appt! Ack! And I also like the automated prescription refill.


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## Georgina 22 (Jan 4, 2009)

I avoid the phone like the plague.

If I have to contact someone via the phone, I like to do it through email. For example applying for a job. If there is no email address and you have to phone, I will avoid it.

If the home phone rings I never answer it.


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## atropos (Jun 27, 2011)

polkadotlaughter said:


> If it weren't for the internet I would have had to make a lot regarding registering for college, which would then mean I wouldn't eve go to college.


a little OT :b

college...oh boy. i struggled through classes for like 3 years before i dropped out. my grades were suffering, but not because i couldn't intellectually handle the material [i actually received a full-tuition, 4 year academic scholarship straight out of high school, that i lost after my 1st year for not keeping up a 3.5 GPA].

i struggled with college because i never went to class! it was often too stressful, especially those classes that required speeches or, even worse, group projects/presentations. i would show up to take the tests, and that was pretty much it.

HOWEVER, now i'm doing the university of minnesota psychology program ONLINE! it's ALL online. i have 1 year to go, and last semester i earned a 4.0 GPA, 14 credits. in a way i feel like i'm cheating; like i'm enabling myself by taking this route, but hey--ya know what? a degree is a degree.

*i guess my point is*, there are some decent online degree programs; don't let your fear of the classroom prevent you from pursuing higher education. it seems like a lot of SA folks are very intelligent; perhaps more intelligent than "normal" people [in certain ways]. this probably belongs in a different thread, lol i'm sorry guys, i'm new here.


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## vespa lover66 (Jul 11, 2012)

wow i thought this was just me! haha i hate when people call me.. I can be ok talking on the phone with ONLY 3 people and i have to know they are going to call. I hate being surprised by the phone. but like ordering pizza or talking to anyone other than those 3 people I get sooooo nervous I really cant do it. I only answer the phone to people I can talk to, even if its a friend I will just reply via text. Texting has saved my life.


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## pneumatic (Nov 5, 2011)

I have avoided phones at all cost don't own a cellphone and have my dad handle all calls if the person "needs" to speak with me I just tell him to hang up because I freak out, I don't understand when it's time to talk and if I don't understand something I usually hang up.


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## leemur (Nov 27, 2012)

the worst part about this fear is that it quickly disentegrates your personal relationships (family and close friends)

oh, and having super-social parents that get mad at you or think you're stupid for being afraid of phone conversations


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## 1Human1World (Nov 27, 2012)

The only thing I have a problem with the phone is checking voice-mails. Otherwise, I have no anxiety or fear of talking the phone. I have 17 voice-mails right now rofl some from 4 months ago...

I do have some anxiety of calling someone who I have not talk to in a while, but am able to get through.

It must be hard for you guys, but the thing is most things are done through the internet now so it is not like you can't live without a phone. What about calling 911? Would you have fear to do so?



leemur said:


> the worst part about this fear is that it quickly disentegrates your personal relationships (family and close friends)
> 
> oh, and having super-social parents that get mad at you or think you're stupid for being afraid of phone conversations


Yeah, you do get the feeling some people think you might be 'better than them' or don't want to be their friend. My aunt thought I was thinking I was better than her when I did not check her voicemail? (Which I do not understand lol) It sucks. Seriously, how can you just go up to them and say you have social anxiety. Man, what embarrassment is that.


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