# Raise my GPA



## HoboQueen (Jan 25, 2008)

This year has been really disorganized and I've been wasting a lot of time. So I'm going to start focusing on school a little more.

My new goal is to raise my GPA. Right now it's at a dismal 3.0. My objective is to get it up to 3.5 by the end of the fall semester. Still not great but at least it will be back up to where I left off in high school. This pretty much means getting an A in everything. Which is going to be tough because I'm not exactly the brightest crayon in the box. But I don't care. I'm going to do it. Even if it means I have to swallow my pride and ask for help. Even if it means possibly enduring another heart breaking failure. I need to at least try it or else I'll always wonder what could have been. A life full of regrets is more frightening than the possibility of suffering the anguish of failure again.

So yeah. That's my goal.


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## Supalady05 (Nov 11, 2005)

I wish you luck raising your GPA.

I only wish my GPA was at _least_ a 3.0.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

mines at 3.5 i might raise it to 3.8 if i feel like it. Its a little late to start trying for a 4.0 tho i think.


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

Good luck HoboQueen. 

Sincerely,
Gerard


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## HoboQueen (Jan 25, 2008)

This goal isn't really working out for me. I'm not giving up or anything. It just seems so unbelivable that I could get good grades (in anything other than government). 

I failed my latest Geography test. My current grade is at a 75% for the class. There's a big project coming up and I'm planning on doing great on it. Presentations turn out better for me than tests do. I'm behind on homework in my Computer class. I didn't even realize there was homework until the teacher mentioned it. I have until Wednesday to complete it. The worst one is probably Communications. I have no idea where I stand on this. I've been doing poorly on the tests because nothing the teacher lectures about is on the exams. My presentations/class activities have been pretty good though. Except for my group project. Ugh. I think I'm doing alright in my American History class. This is probably my best shot at an A. 

I hate school.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

HoboQueen said:


> I hate school.


 :ditto


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## HoboQueen (Jan 25, 2008)

Ugh. I'm such a loser. I wish I was smart. :rain


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

HoboQueen said:


> Ugh. I'm such a loser. I wish I was smart. :rain


I wish I didnt have ADD and wish I had a good memory...


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## HoboQueen (Jan 25, 2008)

Noca said:


> HoboQueen said:
> 
> 
> > Ugh. I'm such a loser. I wish I was smart. :rain
> ...


Same here. You really can't make it through school without being able to memorize things.

So I didn't meet my goal for the spring semester. My GPA actually went _down_. Hopefully my easy classes in the summer will help.


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## HoboQueen (Jan 25, 2008)

The more I study the worse I seem to do on tests. I'm considering dropping out of school and joining the army. If I'm not excelling academically then what's the point? What's the point of studying? For an 86%? Meh. My grades are garbage. My transcript looks like trash. Oh sure, I'll probably end up with a 4.0 after I transfer and I'll still be able to go to law school. But ugh. Law school. I don't even really want to go to law school. :cry


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

HoboQueen said:


> The more I study the worse I seem to do on tests. I'm considering dropping out of school and joining the army. If I'm not excelling academically then what's the point? What's the point of studying? For an 86%? Meh. My grades are garbage. My transcript looks like trash. Oh sure, I'll probably end up with a 4.0 after I transfer and I'll still be able to go to law school. But ugh. Law school. I don't even really want to go to law school. :cry


i didnt know that 86% was so bad that you had to drop out of school for it.


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## HoboQueen (Jan 25, 2008)

Well, by itself an 86% is a decent grade but I had gotten an 89% on the previous test. I had hoped to reach the 90% mark. The constant disappointment is hard to deal with.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

It's a far cry from a 56% though.

Do you have to go to law school?


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## HoboQueen (Jan 25, 2008)

ardrum said:


> It's a far cry from a 56% though.
> 
> Do you have to go to law school?


Yeah, but if I did get a 56% then I'd probably reason that I'm just stupid and not feel too bad about it. But getting so close and not succeeding brings up other questions. Why can't I do it? Why am I good enough to be average but not good enough to be great? Basically, it's a confirmation of my mediocrity. It's a slap in the face. It's lucy holding the football for charlie brown and then pulling it away at the last minute. It's the danlging of the carrot. It's the unfulfilled promise.

I don't necessarily have to go to law school but I am seriously considering it. If I can make it through school without relapsing back into a full depression then I'll probably go. It's not looking good so far though. :rain


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

It just sounds like you have some demanding standards. :stu 

Either a spectacular grade or depression? :sigh

Anyway, sorry you're feeling bad about it.


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## HoboQueen (Jan 25, 2008)

ardrum said:


> Either a spectacular grade or depression? :sigh


You just basically described my existence with that comment.

I think this thread is making me look like a lunatic. Which wouldn't be way off base, come to think of it. But still. I only get this way when it concerns school.

The goal for summer is straight A's. I'm taking two really easy classes (English 101 and Intro to Psychology) and if I don't get those A's then I'm dropping out.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

HoboQueen said:


> ardrum said:
> 
> 
> > Either a spectacular grade or depression? :sigh
> ...


Nah, I was a perfectionist in school... I seriously would have a cow if I got an A-. It was the worst in high school though. It wasn't until I took a stress management course at a local branch college (while in high school) that I first started to challenge why exactly I needed a perfect grade. I oddly never thought about this before taking this course (the first time I ever heard about CBT too).

I was still rather demanding with myself in college, but it wasn't as bad as when I was younger, attaching so much of my sense of worth/esteem with my grades.

It's a bit of a relief to be out of school though, I must admit. It seems that nothing has replaced my grade-perfectionism since graduating.


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## HoboQueen (Jan 25, 2008)

ardrum said:


> It's a bit of a relief to be out of school though, I must admit. It seems that nothing has replaced my grade-perfectionism since graduating.


Grades are toxic evil things. I'm not kidding when I say that this desire to have good grades has been the bane of my existence.

Before I left class last week one of my teachers took me aside and told me how impressed they were by my "intelligence". Huh? If I'm so extraordinary why don't my grades reflect this? An A is proof. More importantly, an A is my ticket out of this hell. Once I transfer the pressure will be off. If I don't drop out and sign up for the army.

School is poison for the soul.


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## HoboQueen (Jan 25, 2008)

I had a nightmare concerning my GPA last night. Well, first it started off as one of my recurring late to class dreams but then at the end I came back home and checked my grades. My GPA was at a 2.5. I woke up really distraught this morning. Then I went back to sleep and had a dream about zombies.

Anyway, my latest goal related drama has to do with checking my spring semester grades. They were in last week and I still haven't looked. I'm guessing I got a D in Geography, a B in American History (which is supposed to be my strong subject), a B in Communications and a B in Computers. There is a slim chance that I got a C in Geography (please,please,please tell me I got that 70%) but if not then it ruins all my plans. I was supposed to be done with my sciences by this semester. If I got a D I'll have to take that awful class again.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Good luck, HoboQueen!


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## HoboQueen (Jan 25, 2008)

I'm dropping this goal. Goals are supposed to empower individuals. They are supposed to make you a better person. All this goal has done is make me twice as anxious and depressed as I might have otherwise been. It's turned me into weak disgusting caricature of myself. That's not how I want to live my life. This was the wrong goal for me. I was trying to force myself to be something I'm not. Those sort of plans never really seem to work out.

I'm not too upset about it actually. Every failure in one area creates the opportunity to succeed elsewhere. I'm checking those spring semester grades tomorrow. Will I be disappointed by the results? Damn right I'll be disappointed. But I'll get over it. It was worth it. I don't even feel like I wasted any time. I needed to get this "must be the best" thing out of my system for good. At least so far as it concerns school.

My new goal for school is to strive for the best _I_ can do. Even if my best is perfectly average. The idea of being average used to be repulsing to me but I figure that so long as I'm really good at something (and I am) then it doesn't matter if I'm average in other parts of my life. That's the principle that got me through high school unscathed. I don't know why I was so quick to abandon it in college.

I think everything is going to be okay.


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