# Do you feel disliked??



## Fireflies

Hi.

For all of us SA people who feel disliked or not worthy of love, I'm wondering how much of this is real and how much of it is our imagination. 

Lately, especially, I have these feelings. I don't know why they've come on so strong just lately. I'm beginning to think my active imagination is to blame here. If I feel unlikable, then I'm probably acting a certain way that keeps people at a distance, which adds to the feeling of being disliked.

For those of you who feel unloved or disliked, is it because someone actually told you this? Did you notice something? Or, do you think you're imagining it?

Thanks.


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## Double Indemnity

Somewhat because I have few real life friends. I have to think it has at least something to do with me.


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## cavemanslaststand

Don't want to overgeneralize, but for me specifically, originally being poor, violent trauma, and over-zealous Catholic last-gens had everything to do with it. For all practical purposes, I was/am decent, clean, and some might even describe good looking, yet I was asocial because everything I had to say was bland, sucks, or is negative.

Being underfed had consequences. I was sick all the time. People's small babble caused me headaches, and I grew to hate noise.

Am not a criminal, yet in my mind, I belong in cosmic prison over guilt and perceive that people are consistently fed up with me.

My neices and nephews can't get enough of me however.


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## erasercrumbs

I _am_ disliked. Not that I blame anyone for disliking me--I'm alienating, fussy, dull, awkward, not terribly bright, and ferociously difficult to look at. I don't like being around myself, so I can't imagine how awful it must be for other people. Even when I am included in group activities, I drain the fun right out of them. If I knew how to change, I would.

One of the few things in life that brings me any comfort is knowing that however unhappy I am, I deserve for things to be a lot worse.


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## shadowmask

Yes, and no, I'm not imagining it. I was actually thinking about this (again) earlier today. While few people have said so directly, the treatment I've received from my peers throughout life paints a picture clear enough. Being a frequent subject of bullying, mockery, ridicule, and neglicence on a consistent basis is not something a likeable or desirable person experiences. Keep in mind, this same alienation occurred before I developed SA and actually talked to people, as well as when I attempt to now. 

I do believe that some people are inherently repugnant, due to no specific reason, but a variety of factors impossible to fully discern even by the people who despise them. I've seen others lepered in the same way, and felt repulsion for them myself. It's something instinctual. This person belongs at the bottom of the social ladder, and damn them if they even think about climbing it.


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## sansd

Double Indemnity said:


> Somewhat because I have few real life friends. I have to think it has at least something to do with me.


Yeah, I feel like I don't have any evidence that people could like me. I have plenty of negative experiences with people and not many positive ones, so how could I expect people to like me?


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## sanspants08

I don't feel disliked so much as unpopular, or uncool. That's also how I've felt my entire life. I feel like most people communicate on a different wavelength.


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## caseyblue

I don't think I'm disliked by my friends but I do feel they are disappointed in me all the time. I'm always cancelling for birthday parties, dinners, anything. They think I don't care. I wish I could explain it to them but I don't think they would get it.


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## HughJ

I'm easy to dislike.


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## Fireflies

Now that I think of it, I just live and breathe for other people's reactions toward me. If someone (even a stranger) is treating me like I'm worthwhile, then I must be worthwhile and I feel great.

If somebody (again, even a stranger) ignores me or is rude to me, then I feel nervous, alienated from society, and paranoid for the rest of the day. Then those feelings can change my behavior, causing a vicious circle.

Most likely, that is the main explanation for why sometimes I'm doing very well with my SA and feel good about myself and other times not so much. It all has to do with something "out there" and not my inherent feelings of self-worth.

What is the solution to this? I'm the same person day in and day out, but feel different depending on how I'm treated by people I don't even know.


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## jsgt

No, but I dont feel liked either.


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## millenniumman75

By most, but not all.


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## Rainbowmuffin

Yes I do feel disliked because even those people I thought were my friends whom I met at college (one of which says she has SA so should be able to relate) have left me out, treated me differently for no good reason that I can think of other than my face doesn't fit. I'm always the black sheep that is treated differently regardless of how much effort I make. It's a common theme with me. The more you do for someone the less respect you get, that's what I've discovered over the years anyway. 
I think I must have a plague/contagious disease I don't know about.:blank


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## humourless

sanspants08 said:


> I don't feel disliked so much as unpopular, or uncool. That's also how I've felt my entire life. I feel like most people communicate on a different wavelength.


I'm pretty much the same.

SA can make you feel uncool I guess.
Just today at work I felt as if one of my younger male colleagues yawning as I approached. Avoiding any lengthy conversation with me. Such a nice young guy too. I've analysed this and come to the conclusion that I actually become a boring talkaholic with people who are also shy. It's as if it's my chance to shine. So I become what I hate in others. And the tone of my talk can be quite complaining and gossipy .(another thing I detest in others) No wonder people lose respect for me.
You get 2 shy people together..someone has to take a kind of leadership role in the conversation otherwise sparks are NOT going to fly!Dull! Dull! The problem is that the one who decides to take the leadership role may not be comfortable with it and bores the other.....just as in my case...I've never been a great storyteller..prefer to get to the point....


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## sanspants08

humourless said:


> I'm pretty much the same.
> 
> SA can make you feel uncool I guess.
> Just today at work I felt as if one of my younger male colleagues yawning as I approached. Avoiding any lengthy conversation with me. Such a nice young guy too. I've analysed this and come to the conclusion that I actually become a boring talkaholic with people who are also shy. It's as if it's my chance to shine. So I become what I hate in others. And the tone of my talk can be quite complaining and gossipy .(another thing I detest in others) No wonder people lose respect for me.
> You get 2 shy people together..someone has to take a kind of leadership role in the conversation otherwise sparks are NOT going to fly!Dull! Dull! The problem is that the one who decides to take the leadership role may not be comfortable with it and bores the other.....just as in my case...I've never been a great storyteller..prefer to get to the point....


Hey, me too! I'm also a talkaholic who would otherwise be silent. I'm not just going to sit there and stare at the other person when they have nothing to say, so over the years I've become a veritable small-talk generating machine--which can be a bad thing when the only subject to discuss is office gossip. I feel like I'm always trying to make up for the fact that I have little in common with the other person. Do you think you do the same thing?


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## humourless

sanspants08 said:


> Hey, me too! I'm also a talkaholic who would otherwise be silent. I'm not just going to sit there and stare at the other person when they have nothing to say, so over the years I've become a veritable small-talk generating machine--which can be a bad thing when the only subject to discuss is office gossip.* I feel like I'm always trying to make up for the fact that I have little in common with the other person. Do you think you do the same thing?*


Yes I would.
I wouldn't call myself a 100 %talkaholic , but I feel as I have the responsibility to keep the conversation going to avoid silence..(a western problem). In a way I'm rel;ieved to be with extroverts who take up such a role easily.


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## BlazingLazer

humourless said:


> I'm pretty much the same.
> 
> SA can make you feel uncool I guess.
> Just today at work I felt as if one of my younger male colleagues yawning as I approached. Avoiding any lengthy conversation with me. Such a nice young guy too. *I've analysed this and come to the conclusion that I actually become a boring talkaholic with people who are also shy. It's as if it's my chance to shine. So I become what I hate in others. And the tone of my talk can be quite complaining and gossipy .(another thing I detest in others) No wonder people lose respect for me.*
> You get 2 shy people together..someone has to take a kind of leadership role in the conversation otherwise sparks are NOT going to fly!Dull! Dull! The problem is that the one who decides to take the leadership role may not be comfortable with it and bores the other.....just as in my case...I've never been a great storyteller..prefer to get to the point....


I actually get this too from time to time. Considering more lately I feel like an outgoing person in a shy person's body, whenever I'm around someone who is noticeably shy (not very often, since that one notably shy guy is usually me), it's like "Wow, now _I'm_ the talkative one here!". It does feel nice, but I can't help but feel guilty or the once-interesting-now-boring type of person.

A strange shift, I tell ya.


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## sanspants08

BlazingLazer said:


> I actually get this too from time to time. Considering more lately I feel like an outgoing person in a shy person's body, whenever I'm around someone who is noticeably shy (not very often, since that one notably shy guy is usually me), it's like "Wow, now _I'm_ the talkative one here!". It does feel nice, but I can't help but feel guilty or the once-interesting-now-boring type of person.
> 
> A strange shift, I tell ya.


You hit the nail on the head :yes. Walking that line between introversion and extroversion is an odd feeling, but sometimes it seems necessary to protect the other person. I don't want the other person to feel left out, so I'll try to include them by asking questions and stuff, even if I am being slightly annoying lol.


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## Lonely Star

Usually I just feel ignored by people. But yeah when they pay me any attention I always get the impression they hate having to speak to me.


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## Kon

*



Do you feel disliked??

Click to expand...

*No, but I have a fear of being disliked or upsetting others. Part of my SAD stems from this. I don't want to do anything that upsets someone or makes them angry/hate me even though I care very little about others (and sometimes I feel like cracking their skulls-figuratively speaking), at least in comparison to most people.


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## Fireflies

I'm also a shy over-talker. I do like to talk when I'm with people I know and it seems to be a favorite hobby of mine. I also talk a lot when I'm with someone who is obviously shy and quiet, even though it's sometimes excrutiating for me. I HOPE I'm not boring them!

What I think we SA people do is notice the pain in others and try to alleviate it. We're sensitive, not just to criticism, but to other's pain. The fact that we try and make these uncomfortable people feel comfortable says a lot about us. 

Sooo, for us SA people with low self-esteem, our ability to see pain and/or discomfort in others is a wonderful trait we should feel proud of.


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## Haunty

I often feel unlikeable, even though some people show interest in me every once in a while, I see myself as boring on the outside because I am so quiet and my voice is monotone. I guess that is OK, because I find most people boring.


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## Kon

RiversEdge said:


> I think I don't care what people think because I "LIKE" me. Matter of fact, I love me.


Given that you don't care about what people think why do you think you still have social anxiety? I'm asking because I've asked myself that many times. I feel like I don't care but on some level I must care?


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## Farideh

Oh yeah. Very much. I don't know why I should care though. It shouldn't matter to me if someone doesn't like me especially when it's for no reason at all. That is their problem.


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## AK32

I don't know about disliked, but I feel like I don't fit in with anyone. That's probably why I don't have any friends.


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## arkeltoi

Haunty said:


> I often feel unlikeable, even though some people show interest in me every once in a while, I see myself as boring on the outside because I am so quiet and my voice is monotone. I guess that is OK, because I find most people boring.


I am the same way...every now and then someone will take a brief passing interest in though I have no idea why. Unlike you, though, I don't find people boring...I find them fascinating. Watching them interact and get to know each other feels like being the poor kid looking through the toy shop window.


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## afraid2goinpublic

For those of you who feel unloved or disliked, is it because someone actually told you this? Did you notice something? Or, do you think you're imagining it?

Well depending on how far back I go into childhood thats not an easy question.......
bullies in school of course make you feel disliked.....so yes was told....
then at home.....well hell thats a sucky thougth to remember so yes there too......
So nope not imagining it......but now at this time in life I feel VERY loved, great hubby, great son, great mom (now that we hashed out childhood issues),great dad-in-law that I take care of............................... so I am happy as long as I dont have to go out in public and interact with people!!!


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## Fireflies

arkeltoi said:


> I am the same way...every now and then someone will take a brief passing interest in though I have no idea why. Unlike you, though, I don't find people boring...I find them fascinating. Watching them interact and get to know each other feels like being the poor kid looking through the toy shop window.


That is EXACTLY how I feel!



afraid2goinpublic said:


> For those of you who feel unloved or disliked, is it because someone actually told you this? Did you notice something? Or, do you think you're imagining it?
> 
> Well depending on how far back I go into childhood thats not an easy question.......
> bullies in school of course make you feel disliked.....so yes was told....
> then at home.....well hell thats a sucky thougth to remember so yes there too......
> So nope not imagining it......but now at this time in life I feel VERY loved, great hubby, great son, great mom (now that we hashed out childhood issues),great dad-in-law that I take care of............................... so I am happy as long as I dont have to go out in public and interact with people!!!


I'm glad you've found some happiness and that there are plenty of people who love you.


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## pianist

Speaking from experience, its hard for others to like you if you don't like yourself. Like you said it can keep others at a distance. I feel anyway.


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## Kon

RiversEdge said:


> As stubborn as I am and may not like to admit it, you have a point. I have asked myself the same thing. I think I justify that SA is something you can't control or seem out of one's control.


That's my explanation also. It seems innate. I feel like I was born with it.


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## Still Waters

I don't think I'm actively disliked but so much of my personality is just watered down to nothing when around others. I've concentrated for so long on making sure I'm not viewed in a negative way. There's no warmth,humor,or anything that pulls others in and sparks their interest. My mannerisms,facial expressions,even voice inflection becomes too tightly controlled,too minimized. I almost feel like I literally become invisible. People don't see the real me but an altered version I don't even recognize.


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## Fireflies

Still Waters said:


> I don't think I'm actively disliked but so much of my personality is just watered down to nothing when around others. I've concentrated for so long on making sure I'm not viewed in a negative way. There's no warmth,humor,or anything that pulls others in and sparks their interest. My mannerisms,facial expressions,even voice inflection becomes too tightly controlled,too minimized. I almost feel like I literally become invisible. People don't see the real me but an altered version I don't even recognize.


I am exactly the same way. In private, I'm very talkative and, as my husband says, have full-body expressions...meaning that I have an expressive face and voice, talk with my hands, even my whole body.

When I'm with strangers or people I'd like to impress (not that I don't want to impress my husband), I shut down no matter how hard I try not to. I'm much, much better than I was when I was young, but they still don't get even a glimpse of the real me.

When I was younger, I was very montone, quiet, expressionless. My future sister-in-law (now present sister-in-law) didn't like me in the least and told my brother that I have no facial expressions. Even though I do with people I'm comfortable with, to this day, I'm overly concerned with my face! I wish my brother never told me that.

I THINK I agree with RiversEdge and Kon about it being innate. I have struggled my whole life not to care what people think. With all the improvement I've made over the past two decades, I still care more than I should...to the point of changing my behavior for others or changing my plans.

About 15 minutes ago, UPS came with some books on both SA and self-esteem. I'm still working on it and I know I'll make more gains in the coming years. Not easy though.


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## rgrwng

i feel disliked everyday. i could be with people i am comfortable with, but i do no show much emotion and end up talking about myself somewhere/sometime, so i am sure it annoys them quite a bit. in turn, i tell myself not to talk about myself at all, then realize that i have nothing else of interest to connect and share with them.

so, armed with a lack of interesting conversation, i feel like i just let people down when i talk to them, and so i just feel sad all day.


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## gita

Bullying usually occurs wherever I am (work, school, social events) if I stay there long enough. Mostly from women, not from men usually (unless women put them up to it). Running away is the only method that works. And this is unmistakable in my face aggression by them, and I never know what I said or did that set them off.


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## Syndacus

I say 75% of SAS forum hates me or dislikes me. I'm used to it


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## christacat

Yep, all the time


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## Hoyden

Stillwater described it so well. Even when I think I'm smiling, it doesn't look that way and I must come across as such a miserable cow.


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## Ashley1990

many times...socially


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## simpleindian

Fireflies said:


> I'm also a shy over-talker. I do like to talk when I'm with people I know and it seems to be a favorite hobby of mine. I also talk a lot when I'm with someone who is obviously shy and quiet, even though it's sometimes excrutiating for me. I HOPE I'm not boring them!
> 
> What I think we SA people do is notice the pain in others and try to alleviate it. We're sensitive, not just to criticism, but to other's pain. The fact that we try and make these uncomfortable people feel comfortable says a lot about us.
> 
> Sooo, for us SA people with low self-esteem, our ability to see pain and/or discomfort in others is a wonderful trait we should feel proud of.


i think that u r absolutely right.i cant agree with u anymore.


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## ShyViolet

Yes, and I can't say I blame them.


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## laine73

*I feel the same way....*

I could people staring at me at work almost trying to figure me out. How could I work hours on end and not engage in the conversations around me. I work in a fast paced call center and work solely via email since I'm a new employee. I have two women on right that do nothing but complain, gossip, make snide remarks at other people's expense. So annoying! I tune them out but there are times when I could sense they are annoyed with me. How could someone who is doing their job, minding their own business feel so annoyed about that doesn't ever talk to them? To me I go about my way, if I feel like talking I do and I don't and prefer to work, I have that right?!


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## Nothereanymore

I have always felt this way! Now, since I'm older, I try to discipline myself out of it more, but it still affects me. I'm married with four kids but I still feel unattractive (even though my husband tells me otherwise) and many times like a loser (even though I have a small home business that people see as successful, although I have a friend with the same type of business who has quickly surpassed me in success and popularity.) I feel like I have plenty of acquaintances but nobody who really wants to take the time to seek me out or be close. Like, "Oh she's a good person" but then, given a choice, they have other, more fun or better friends to hang out with. My few close friends have moved away and have had tragic life occurrences and they have chosen to sort of forget everyone in their past, so I'm stuck with trying to find new friends, which doesn't work super great. haha. 

I'm pretty sure if anyone KNEW I felt like this, they'd be like, "Huh? Where'd you get THAT?" but I really do, some days, feel like a total loser....


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## andemar

You must be a good person. Children caneasily feel a person out......[QUOTE
My neices and nephews can't get enough of me however.[/QUOTE]


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## Opacus

yep cause im boring dumb and ugleh


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## kirsty96

Yea, mostly because of my SA. people say that I'm weird and I'm the girl that doesn't speak.


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## cavemanslaststand

andemar said:


> You must be a good person. Children caneasily feel a person out......[QUOTE
> My neices and nephews can't get enough of me however.


Thank you, that made my day. Merry Christmas! I didn't get notification of that quote, so took a while to figure out the odd familiarity.

By the way, my second cousin (Mom's cousin's daughter) got married to David W. this past year (2011) in Gaithersburg, Maryland, where you currently are. I skipped the wedding and decided to send $100, but in retrospect should have gone.


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## laine73

I'm at a point where I really could care less to make friends at work or change who I am. I don't do well with distraction. I prefer to focus on what I am doing so I remain quiet to work in my cube. I don't hang out at someone's cube to talk their head off. I don't get offended when someone doesn't stop by and say hello. I figure they're busy or preoccupied or just don't give it much thought. However, when I am not at work, I might be a little reserved preferring to pick and choose who I talk to. I love down to earth, funny people. I detest pretentious people who think they are superior to others with annoying degrading remarks in their attempt to be witty!


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## boredandtired

The dislike tends to happen when I share any personal views on any subjects that doesn't conform to the accepted viewpoints. 

I did the fake thing growing up to fit in and had a ton of friends but I hated myself inside for being fake and not doing/saying the things I really wanted to. 

I guess you cant have it both ways.


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## gaz

afraid2goinpublic said:


> For those of you who feel unloved or disliked, is it because someone actually told you this? Did you notice something? Or, do you think you're imagining it?
> 
> Well depending on how far back I go into childhood thats not an easy question.......
> bullies in school of course make you feel disliked.....so yes was told....
> then at home.....well hell thats a sucky thougth to remember so yes there too......
> So nope not imagining it......but now at this time in life I feel VERY loved, great hubby, great son, great mom (now that we hashed out childhood issues),great dad-in-law that I take care of............................... so I am happy as long as I dont have to go out in public and interact with people!!!


It's hard to say. Perhaps i am not disliked because i have done nothing as far as i know to upset anyone, but unpopular and yeah unloved. Even on this site i notice there are some members who have more messages on their walls etc, more comments on their pictures etc and that provokes a feeling of inferiority. I quit facebook because of my feeling of inferiotiy at seeing the ''popular'' people and i see the same thing going on on here.


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## erasercrumbs

A special message to everyone that's posted on this thread!

Attention! 

If you print out this coupon, you can present it to me at any time in real life for a free hug. Special offer #11084-A. Tell me SAS sent ya and receive an additional coupon for future hugs!


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## Crystalline

Being opinionated (which I am) seems to earn a lot of animosity, unfortunately.


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## Camelleone

this is how I feel too.


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## Emmanuel

For me, I don't feel like disliked is the word. It feels as if society is just not interested in me.


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## aussiegal

I feel like I have always been disliked. I have never known why. I found some school friends on Facebook. I met a couple and they didn't contact me again. I don't know why. I sent a message to another and was ignored and again I don't know why. I have no friends. I don't know why. I do think it has something to do with being ugly.


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## erasercrumbs

aussiegal said:


> I feel like I have always been disliked. I have never known why. I found some school friends on Facebook. I met a couple and they didn't contact me again. I don't know why. I sent a message to another and was ignored and again I don't know why. I have no friends. I don't know why. I do think it has something to do with being ugly.


I read so much of myself in some of these comments. It truly breaks my heart to know that there are people out there that feel the same way I do.


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## DiamondSky

Yes, I feel disliked and it sucks. (Although to be fair, some of the people who don't like me are very far from perfect themselves) Two of my biggest problems is that I'm not the best verbal communicator and I tend to be ruled by my emotions too often. So sometimes I react quickly, rather than thinking things through rationally.

I've always tended to be fairly introverted and am working hard to learn how to be more social and easygoing, but it is tiring. It can feel like such a game, trying _not_ to bug people and please them.

What is particularly bothersome too are people who, despite the fact you have been nice and generous with them and haven't done anything horrible to them, just stop talking to you. This happened to me recently and as hard as I try to just let it go, it still hurts.


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## BlazingLazer

Crystalline said:


> Being opinionated (which I am) seems to earn a lot of animosity, unfortunately.


The reason why I feel so suppresed in real life. I can only imagine how much worse socially it would be for me if I actually spoke my mind for once. The riot police might have to be called hahaha.


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## Donnie in the Dark

I worry about that at uni.
Its second term and I am socialising less and less. My flatmates are already contractually committed to live with me off campus next year, but I wonder if they still even want to? They seem to have an okay time together, but I only seem to show my face at meals and stuff.


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## stargazer8

Sometimes I care about what other people think a little too much. I obsess over my family and online friends, obsess over how they react to me. I guess I let it dictate my self worth from time to time, but I'm a lot better about it now that I'm older.

It's hard when you're thin-skinned and sensitive. Even strangers can ruin your day just by being rude. Facial expressions and tone of voice can get to me. But the important thing I found is to work on my inner self. Figure out what I want to make better and what I want to change. Then do just that. It's totally easier said than done, but if you can work on it you'll feel so much better.

One of the things I've learned in therapy is that I let other people's insecurities or issues affect me. Family members act out because they are insecure or have issues and take it out on me for whatever reason I'm not really sure why. But I need to not let that affect me. People will always treat you the way they see fit and I just need to be able to withstand it. Not let it get to me.


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## peril

Yes specially since in our office, I'm the only one with *really *flexible hours -- mainly because my boss knows about my SA. Work usually starts from 9-9:30 but I can come in as late as 1pm and my boss is okay with it as long as I do my job but some people are giving me crap for it. What annoys me is the fact that their job is not affected by my "lateness" so why the ****ty attitude?


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## Deb1963

I feel that way most of the time. For me, I think that these feelings of being unlikable started way back in very young childhood. I remember being very shy and people constantly ridiculing me for it. I was rejected alot by people and it greatly affected any self-esteem I might have had. I always got the message that I wasn't good enough the way that I am and I still carry that with me today, though in adulthood and especially in more recent years, I have felt alot more acceptance and love from people. Despite this, I have carried these inferior feelings around for so long that is is deeply engrained in me. I don't know if I will ever be able to get rid of this perception of myself.


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## Tittering

I don't feel disliked per se, but it does seem as though friends have pitched me into the "low social status" bin...only because I'm not worth keeping around. 

There was a time when I would go out of my way to entertain people, make them laugh, etc., even with the SA. That got really old. I wasn't playacting, as I genuinely enjoy laughing, and seeing others laugh, but it was awfully hard work which left me feeling drained beyond measure. During those days I also seemed to have ended up being a go-to person for problems. I would talk people through break ups, relationship issues, and just misc. bad days. Would they return the favor? Not really. Did I expect a give-and-take relationship? Not necessarily; we all have our "off" moments. But it got to the point where things were way out of proportion. If I had a problem and needed help, the best I could hope for was an apathetic "You'll get over it." 

So I withdrew. Almost entirely. And now, none of my former friends even pretends to care. So long as I'm not being amusing or playing therapist, people aren't interested. As though friendship is all about assessing people's worth based on what they can do for you and how much they can suck you dry. And that's not for me. It wasn't healthy. The current situation, however, is far fom ideal, but at least now I've cut my losses. The question extant is: where do I go from here?


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## lword

*Eventually people give up on me*

People try to befriend me but it is so difficult for me to have a conversation longer than a few words that they eventually get frustrated and stop trying. I work with a bunch of social workers who are all very sympathetic type people so I am fortunate and they are not very judgmental people. The only person I can comfortably talk to at length is my husband, I do not even feel comfortable speaking to my family. I pretty much put on an act for everyone else. I think I'm a big fraud because I catch myself lying or just spitting out whatever just to to say something, because even when I'm asked simple questions, like how was your weekend, my mind goes completely blank and I can't even remember or think of a response! It's really crazy and sometimes I laugh at myself, but really it is an upsetting way to have to go through life because in my mind I have so much to say.


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## ChrissyQ

I feel so unlikable I have it so deep in my head that i'm unlikable.. so I don't even try to talk to ppl anymore coz I think they won't like me.


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## Meta14

No, just uninteresting.


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## farfegnugen

I think people are initially kind of interested in me, then I seem to usually fail to build some type of rapport and it sort of dies away quickly. I think I am better around people when we're doing something and that takes center stage. I don't think I am much of a conversationalist, at least not until I'm comfortable around them.


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## Talgonite

Yes I feel that people dislike me, but I also dislike people so I guess we're about even.


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## nemesis1

Talgonite said:


> Yes I feel that people dislike me, but I also dislike people so I guess we're about even.


Ditto.

Its hard to feel bad about being disliked by people when i feel the exact same way about other people.


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## Octavian

I'm introvert, quiet, boring... It is not surprising that people dislike me


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## Epic1

I've always felt more "dismissed" than disliked. Not noteworthy, not particularly important, not worth the time.

The only time I was able to really connect with people was when I was drinking. I quit years ago after it backfired on me one too many times (and had been a problem for quite a while anyways) and that was pretty much the end of that.

As an adult, even my own family (the closest thing I have to friends) would talk over me and pretty much ignore my opinions and thoughts, later even repeating things I told them back to me, as if it were their own thoughts. Even when I made an impression, I didn't make an impression.



farfegnugen said:


> I think people are initially kind of interested in me, then I seem to usually fail to build some type of rapport and it sort of dies away quickly. I think I am better around people when we're doing something and that takes center stage. I don't think I am much of a conversationalist, at least not until I'm comfortable around them.


Yeah, I get this too. If people can get over the initial "hump" and get to know me, seems I do better. Of course, then they find out I'm not religious and so they shun me, or that I don't drink, or I make way more money than them and they get intimidated, or some other incompatibility that kills it.



peril said:


> Yes specially since in our office, I'm the only one with really flexible hours -- mainly because my boss knows about my SA. Work usually starts from 9-9:30 but I can come in as late as 1pm and my boss is okay with it as long as I do my job but some people are giving me crap for it. What annoys me is the fact that their job is not affected by my "lateness" so why the ****ty attitude?


Because you get special treatment. Most people in an office are jealous of anyone who gets any kind of special treatment, whether rightfully earned/deserved or not. Makes no difference if it affects their job or not. Ask anyone who has ever been promoted how their former peers treated them after the promotion.

If you have an outgoing, charasmatic personality you can usually win them over despite any "special" treatment. But for the rest of us...


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## delilahkesi08

*Who you tellin...*

I feel disliked and misunderstood all the time. I have felt that way for years now. I try not to dwell on who dislikes me but it does get me down from time to time. I just cry it out and keep it moving.


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## Syndacus

Only on this website, but I don't care anymore...and anyone that dislikes me, I didn't care for them much to begin with.


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## KillingTheBlues

Yes, but only by myself. :O


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## Dr Who

I'm disliked by most but i dont really try to be nice or try to be any thing at all. I just be myself which ends in me seeing most people as thick.


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## FarNorth

I feel unliked. I think people are missing out not knowing me. If they would just break the ice I would open up and become their total conversation partner. Sometimes these feelings do end up where I feel disliked because nobody talks to me. _It's amazing how many friends you would have had if you'd just taken the first step._ I use those words to cheer me up at those times.


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## mzmz

*i relate*

I often just feel like everyone is going by a script that i did not get a copy of.


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## CipherAgent

I feel disliked. I've always been the guy people poked fun at and looked down upon. I thought people would grow out of it, but I started to realize that it's me a decade ago in college. I have an odd personality and I have a kind of physical disfigurement. Because of this I'm constantly labelled with negative connotations. I hate my existence and often, I wish I was never born.


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## erasercrumbs

CipherAgent said:


> I feel disliked. I've always been the guy people poked fun at and looked down upon. I thought people would grow out of it, but I started to realize that it's me a decade ago in college. I have an odd personality and I have a kind of physical disfigurement. Because of this I'm constantly labelled with negative connotations. I hate my existence and often, I wish I was never born.


This sounds almost exactly like me, in every detail.


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## rdrr

Syndacus said:


> Only on this website, but I don't care anymore...and anyone that dislikes me, I didn't care for them much to begin with.


I feel the same way on here, but its weird because its not the case in my offline social interactions. I dont act any different between the two.


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## libralicious

I feel disliked all the time.


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## Beauty and the Beast

i feel like am boring people because most of the time i go silent, i cant make a well conversation, and may be sometimes i feel like are not interested listening, 
but when i get some1 who listens n helps making conversation going so i also try to talk then we just keep on sharing the talk.


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