# Trying to be nicer



## alte (Sep 4, 2010)

I don't know if I am a nice person. Sometimes, being aloof and having lack of social ability can make me unintentionally appear rude. How do you develop a nicer mindset? and by nicer, I mean someone who goes out of their way to help a stranger etc. I find them to be very inspiring.


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## RedFeather (May 3, 2012)

alte said:


> I don't know if I am a nice person. Sometimes, being aloof and having lack of social ability can make me unintentionally appear rude. How do you develop a nicer mindset? and by nicer, I mean someone who goes out of their way to help a stranger etc. I find them to be very inspiring.


I felt this way. I stumbled across the book Join Me by Danny Wallace. I would recommend the read. I won't say more about it, but it made me think a little differently.

It's not some deep philosophical book but it's an easy read and it got me thinking....

Also, I had a lady give me a free sample in Lush once and I was so touched I didn't know what to do. It was a full 250ml bottle...but being awkward I thanked her, teared up and never returned..I felt too embarassed but I thought it was lovely of her and I wish to return the favour someday

also when I worked in ASDA I helped an old woman and she came back 5 minutes later having bought me two chocolate bars. I felt overcome with gratitude but I was all stiff and embarassed. never. ever. hug.


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## Corvus Cowl (Apr 25, 2012)

I think I may start doing this. When I did nice things I always felt good, but I have not lately and as of late I have also started to get a bit depressed. May help perk me up, and make others happy as well.


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## Setolac (Jul 26, 2009)

are you sure? You know what they say, nice guys finish last.


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## Bryan108 (Mar 1, 2012)

Huh I seem to have the opposite problem to you, I'm way too nice to the extreme and so can't stand up for myself.


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

You want to help a stranger why?

If you want to be nicer, start with the people you know. I don't think anyone who would help a stranger but not an acquaintance can claim to be nice.



> These little things can really make a difference, and it could really make someone's day. I remember one time I was having a really rough day and was crying and a random stranger asked me if I was okay. This was about 9 years ago


Once when I was a junior in high school I cried while waiting for my ride after school and some middle school kid asked me if I was okay.

If anything, that only made me even more pathetic about myself.


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## Vincent Law (Apr 25, 2012)

Women find nice guys BORING.


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## Vincent Law (Apr 25, 2012)

Setolac said:


> are you sure? You know what they say, nice guys finish last.


This.


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## dust3000 (Oct 13, 2009)

If you are nice to yourself first, you might find it easier to be nice to others.


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## Tyler Bro (Apr 27, 2012)

*******s are dead in the long run... Girls usually find a nice guy after 10-15 years of dating.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

Wow at some of the posts in here...


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## Vincent Law (Apr 25, 2012)

Tyler Bro said:


> *******s are dead in the long run... Girls usually find a nice guy after 10-15 years of dating.


once they get knocked up with several kids they come crawling back to the nice guys for emotional, romantic, & financial support.


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## alte (Sep 4, 2010)

Vincent Law said:


> Women find nice guys BORING.


The woman in the video sounds like an *******.

Yes, I have some work to do on becoming nice.


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## Setolac (Jul 26, 2009)

Vincent Law said:


> once they get knocked up with several kids they come *crawling back to the nice guys for emotional, romantic, & financial support*.


That's what these type of women do, they go hunt for "bad boys" for their own personal pleasure and after many years *this* happens to them then they go hunt for the nice guys for their own pleasure again. Why do women do this?



> The woman in the video sounds like an *******.
> 
> Yes, I have some work to do on becoming nice.


If you don't want to have women alte, you should probably continue what you are doing. Im not sure if you are a girl or a boy but if you're a girl then being nice is okay, all types of men would hunt you down no matter what you are.


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## softshock11 (Jan 9, 2011)

its alla big confusing mess
some girls go for the bad boys that are quiet with a smoldering stare
other girls like the nice talkative guys
some girls like the quiet nice guys

ugh its so complex for you men to please us women.
Just Be Yourself and if you really are a nice person then so BE IT and the right girl will be attracted to you.


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## alte (Sep 4, 2010)

Setolac said:


> That's what these type of women do, they go hunt for "bad boys" for their own personal pleasure and after many years *this* happens to them then they go hunt for the nice guys for their own pleasure again. Why do women do this?
> 
> If you don't want to have women alte, you should probably continue what you are doing. Im not sure if you are a girl or a boy but if you're a girl then being nice is okay, all types of men would hunt you down no matter what you are.


Let's temporarily not think about what is going to get you with women. What do you think of being nice simply because when you see people being friendly and kind, you find it touching (as someone else said above)? Aren't such people inspiring? This is the only reason for the post. I don't know how this will affect your dating life.


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## niacin (May 26, 2012)

What's up with that "nice guys finish last" thing? Where are these men trying to go? If such a destination exists, as a woman, I'm sure as hell going to walk very slowly.

I love nice people


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## tjames (Jan 31, 2012)

Hi alte, people have always told me I am nice. Here are some suggestions.

1.Smile
Smiling is the easiest way to be nice to someone. Even if someone doesn’t acknowledge you many people appreciate a smile. Just recently someone I thought disliked me asked me to be his roommate. It turns out that his English is bad. He wasn’t ignoring me, he just couldn’t speak to me. He had to have his friend ask me to be his roommate. I could have gotten discourage by his silence and uncomfortable look but I kept smiling and greeting him because I am trying to avoid mind reading. 

2.Look on the bright side. 
I would say the thing people like about me is that I try to look on the bright side. When someone is rude to me I try to brush it off and enjoy my day. When I am able to do this it brightens other peoples day. Once I was leaving work and a coworker thanked me for having such a good attitude. I was shocked because I was honestly looking on the bright side for selfish reasons. I was doing it to keep myself from being upset. I didn’t realize that others noticed and appreciated it. 

3. If you feel like being silly be silly. 
Everyone may not get your brand of humor. Some people are to serious to take a joke. Many people admire someone who can just relax and be goofy. Don’t ever try to be goofy to get others to like you. That will backfire. Be goofy to make yourself happy and other will appreciate your attempt to enjoy yourself. 

4. Ask questions
People love when you ask questions about there lives. It makes them feel like you like them and everyone wants to feel valuable. 

5. Give compliments.
If you like someone’s shirt let them know. If you like someone’s hair let them know. This works for men as well. I can’t tell you how many conversations I have started at work completing someone. Complimenting a woman’s heels could be seen as flirting. Most women love it when you compliment their dress or hair. I once made a woman feel better about herself by complimenting her look. She was having a down day and thought she looked bad. She just needed someone to remind her that she looked just fine. Don’t be afraid to compliment men. Just don’t compliment a man on his pants and he won’t think you are flirting. Remember don’t compliment a woman’s shoes or a man’s pants.


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