# Why isn't there a "Dating" forum on SAS?



## MildSA (Sep 29, 2014)

From what I gather there are a lot of singles on SAS who are interested in dating other folks who suffer from SA, so wouldn't it make sense for there to exist a "Dating" forum on SAS? I can't get myself to sign-up for the popular creep-life dating sites for people my age (POF/Tinder/Cupid) b/c they give off a "meat market" vibe. I would feel more comfortable reaching out to the single ladies of SAS since I would have a rough idea of what they are about based on reading their post or chatting. Besides, we all suffer from some form of SA so it would make it easier to find a partner who actually understands your everyday struggles.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Daveyboy said:


> Horrible idea...
> 
> but..
> 
> ...


LOL. I'd be up for it. The people who run the site probably wouldn't be, however.

Edit: And by it, I mean a dating forum, lol.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

There is. You can find it in the....


I've said too much :blank


:hide


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## darkhoboelf (Mar 3, 2013)

That is a really good idea.


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

I sense many LDR's in the future. :idea


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## midnightson (Nov 6, 2013)

The drama from dudes getting shut down and ignored would be delicious. Awesome idea.


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## In a Lonely Place (Mar 26, 2012)

There's probably enough creeps floating about without attracting more of them here and giving them a green light.


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## MildSA (Sep 29, 2014)

Daveyboy said:


> Horrible idea...
> 
> but..
> 
> ...


That's basically what you call a meat-market mentality. I hate when people post stats similar to what you just put up. Unless you are simply just trying to get laid you shouldn't put so much weight onto ones physical attributes. I for one don't care much as long as they aren't obese, anorexic, midgets or 7ft tall. If eye/hair color is a deal breaker for you then I'm going to give you a side-eye.


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

I can see future male threads complaining about their struggles with women on this site.........incoming! 

Haha but in all honesty. I don't see it as a bad thing why not if enough people are interested?


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

I get the feeling it would end up being a sausage fest. If two people like each other on here, there's nothing stopping them from connecting. Also, no one wants to deal with the 9385730 new "I got rejected and here's why everything and everyone sucks" threads. We get enough of those.


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## MildSA (Sep 29, 2014)

In a Lonely Place said:


> There's probably enough creeps floating about without attracting more of them here and giving them a green light.


Basically, create a screening methodology for folks who want to join the group. Maybe something like: you can't join the group unless you have 100 posts & are in good standing.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

If you're interested in someone just PM them. That is how most people here start dating. At least I assume that's how it happens.


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## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

This site is way too popular and well-known across the gross-est parts of the internet, I don't really think it's safe to create a dating site specifically filled with naive, vulnerable, people with no real support in their life.


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## MildSA (Sep 29, 2014)

diamondheart89 said:


> I get the feeling it would end up being a sausage fest.


Isn't there something close to 1:1 ratio on SAS in general?


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

"SAS Sausage R Us" sounds like an appropriate name for the subforum. Women here know how some of us are. Complaining about not having a g/f, being virgin, etc.. Who would want to be thrown into the mix of people like that? I know I wouldn't. It'd be like getting attacked by a bunch of horny wolves.


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## MildSA (Sep 29, 2014)

Jesuszilla said:


> If you're interested in someone just PM them. That is how most people here start dating. At least I assume that's how it happens.


I did but all of them live over 2000 miles outside of SoCal but then I only really post in the Relationship & GD forums. If there are single ladies from SoCal who post on SAS then holla.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

MildSA said:


> Isn't there something close to 1:1 ratio on SAS in general?


I don't know, but generally, I doubt most girls come here only due to their dating problems. Many are already in relationships or prefer to date people near them, or don't want to date anyone from here at all, they come here because they have SA issues.

Oh and yeah, I can see slimeballs from nasty sites across the net targeting girls on here as easy targets.


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## MildSA (Sep 29, 2014)

jsgt said:


> "SAS Sausage R Us" sounds like an appropriate name for the subforum. Women here know how some of us are. Complaining about not having a g/f, being virgin, etc.. Who would want to be thrown into the mix of people like that? I know I wouldn't. It'd be like getting attacked by a bunch of horny wolves.


In that case then I don't want to her the ladies of SAS complaining about being single.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

Because then we'd all be *****s.


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

diamondheart89 said:


> I don't know, but generally, I doubt most girls come here only due to their dating problems. Many are already in relationships or prefer to date people near them, or don't want to date anyone from here at all, they come here because they have SA issues.
> 
> Oh and yeah, I can see slimeballs from nasty sites across the net targeting girls on here as easy targets.


I don't think anybody initially joins this site with the intentions of finding a bf/gf. But hey its an added bonus if you meet someone right?


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

MildSA said:


> In that case then I don't want to her the ladies of SAS complaining about being single.


Only one thread comes to mind. Are there many others?


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## Hikikomori2014 (Sep 8, 2014)

I think most of the single people on the forum are males.
The females seem to already be in relationships or have the ability
to attract a guy OR girl if that's your flavor


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## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

MildSA said:


> In that case then I don't want to her the ladies of SAS complaining about being single.


Oh that's nice, if we don't want to date guys who are bitter and sex-obsessed then we don't get to complain about being single...


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## MildSA (Sep 29, 2014)

diamondheart89 said:


> I don't know, but generally, I doubt most girls come here only due to their dating problems. Many are already in relationships or prefer to date people near them, or don't want to date anyone from here at all, they come here because they have SA issues.


I never said every single female from SAS should be forced to join the group, all I said we for those who are open to dating guys from SAS it would be convenient if there were a "Dating" forum. If it's a sausage fest then it will eventually die out anyways.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Jesuszilla said:


> If you're interested in someone just PM them. That is how most people here start dating. At least I assume that's how it happens.


Yup!


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Ignopius said:


> I don't think anybody initially joins this site with the intentions of finding a bf/gf. But hey its an added bonus if you meet someone right?


Exactly, I never came here with the intention of dating. But my bf and I started discussing stuff in a society & culture thread and found we had a lot in common since we were both on the same side of the debate. I would have never posted in a dating thread/section if there was one because I didn't come here to be bombarded with guys trying to get laid. :stu I think that's what usually happens on dating sites and it doesn't work for most people.

Also, if you bring the matchmaking onto here, you're also going to drag in the relationship issues. I'm glad most of that stuff stays under the radar right now. It would just make things complicated and uncomfortable if every time members broke up, it played out on sas with all the bitterness, anger, and drama.


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## MildSA (Sep 29, 2014)

Shameful said:


> Oh that's nice, if we don't want to date guys who are bitter and sex-obsessed then we don't get to complain about being single...


I for one am not bitter nor sex-obsessed but just b/c I post on SAS I'm dismissed as a bitter and sex-obsessed. This is the type of mentality that leads some women into being forever single status. Why don't at least entertain the idea before putting out a blanket statement; it's pretty harmless.


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## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

diamondheart89 said:


> Also, no one wants to deal with the 9385730 new "I got rejected and here's why everything and everyone sucks" threads. We get enough of those.


yeah, I can already predict a tsunami of threads hitting the frustration board...

"_not even the socially anxious girls find me attractive_"
"_SAS is just like POF_"
"_even SAS girls want jerks, all women are the same_"
"_I stole Elad's pics to make a fake profile, and all of a sudden all girls responded to my messages_"

:lol


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

diamondheart89 said:


> I would have never posted in a dating thread/section if there was one because I didn't come here to be bombarded with guys trying to get laid. :stu


We're looking for wives, not ****s coming to us in clubs with the cocaine. SAS and it's pruriency, damned.


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

diamondheart89 said:


> Also, if you bring the matchmaking onto here, you're also going to drag in the relationship issues. I'm glad most of that stuff stays under the radar right now. It would just make things complicated and uncomfortable if every time members broke up, it played out on sas with all the bitterness, anger, and drama.


*grabs popcorn* what's wrong with drama?? :clap


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Mr Bacon said:


> yeah, I can already predict a tsunami of threads hitting the frustration board...
> 
> "_not even the socially anxious girls find me attractive_"
> "_SAS is just like POF_"
> ...


LOL


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## MildSA (Sep 29, 2014)

diamondheart89 said:


> Exactly, I never came here with the intention of dating. But my bf and I started discussing stuff in a society & culture thread and found we had a lot in common since we were both on the same side of the debate. I would have never posted in a dating thread/section if there was one because I didn't come here to be bombarded with guys trying to get laid. :stu I think that's what usually happens on dating sites and it doesn't work for most people.


That was my point. When you sign-up for POF/Cupid/Tinder you are basically doing it w/ the intention of finding a date or trying to get laid which is what drew me away. On SAS you can openly discuss a lot of things w/ people who signed up b/c they share one thing in common: SA. Just like you said, those discussions might lead to people finding out they have a lot in common which could eventually lead to them developing some type of relationship. The issue is that I haven't come across single ladies from SoCal that post on SAS when I'm randomly posting thus I won't serendipitously find a mate on SAS but that might be in part my fault b/c I've tried finding out where they post. I thought the "Dating" forum would solve the problem since anyone interested can find out who's single+looking & their relative geographic location.


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## peacelizard (Apr 17, 2014)

I can't speak for other people but I don't find LDRs terribly fun


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

estse said:


> We're looking for wives, not ****s coming to us in clubs with the cocaine. SAS and it's pruriency, damned.


LOL.


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## GGTFM (Oct 7, 2014)

In a Lonely Place said:


> There's probably enough creeps floating about without attracting more of them here and giving them a green light.


Or maybe they can only make it visible to those who are members.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

TicklemeRingo said:


> There is. You can find it in the....
> 
> I've said too much :blank
> 
> :hide


http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f16/


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## GGTFM (Oct 7, 2014)

Haha it seems like so many came here trying to hook up with someone. It's kind of sad actually since its kind of annoying :/


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

The same reason why workplace relationships are discouraged.


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## GGTFM (Oct 7, 2014)

MildSA said:


> I did but all of them live over 2000 miles outside of SoCal but then I only really post in the Relationship & GD forums. If there are single ladies from SoCal who post on SAS then holla.


If you guys really like each other and have a good chemistry going on why would 2,000 miles be a problem? Aside from money. And do you really expect for girls to just holla at you without knowing anything about you? :no


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

In the case of pursuing relationships, I think it would be better to have people find something in common with people through posting/chatting/private messaging and actually building something through interaction. And it might be more therapeutic for them to possibly pursue something that way rather than making it a dating site. Use it as a way to get out of their shells. Which is ultimately (should be) the goal of this site...so people can learn how to combat their anxiety. ???


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## GGTFM (Oct 7, 2014)

Evo1114 said:


> In the case of pursuing relationships, I think it would be better to have people find something in common with people through posting/chatting/private messaging and actually building something through interaction. And it might be more therapeutic for them to possibly pursue something that way rather than making it a dating site. Use it as a way to get out of their shells. Which is ultimately (should be) the goal of this site...so people can learn how to combat their anxiety. ???


Exactly!!!


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

Not sure it'd work. Ironically, SAS kind of does have a 'dating site' aspect to it for those bold enough to communicate with one another. I mean, our profiles even have dating site-esque info questions, like body type, turn on and offs... So...

I feel it'd be ignored, because then people'd be spotlighted, and the lack of replies due to shyness, apathy or being not interested could end up hurting people (even worse off then they're already hurting).


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

But, with that said, here's my bio/stats for anyone interested:
Dark hair.
Dark blue eyes.
5'11
Average build, except when it's a full moon.
Suffer from GAD, SAD, depression, PTSD, and lycanthropy
Caucasian mutt, with a dash of Cherokee/wendigo.
Atheist
Movie and lit. lover.


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## MildSA (Sep 29, 2014)

GGTFM said:


> If you guys really like each other and have a good chemistry going on why would 2,000 miles be a problem? Aside from money. And do you really expect for girls to just holla at you without knowing anything about you? :no


I'm open to LDR but it's a problem b/c it's 2000 miles which means besides money time would an issue thus I would PREFER someone in my area just to save both parties the hassle of having to travel 2000 miles whenever you want to see each other.

As far as the holla part, I was just trying to indicate that I'm open to getting to know (not necessarily date) my fellow SoCal single(+looking) ladies if we know each other from SAS & they happen to be interested. If they have read my posts they should have a rough idea of what am about & vice versa.....it's not like I'm asking random female posters to go on a date w/ me right away just b/c they are single & from SoCal. I don't see how it's any different the way folks initiate conversations on every other popular dating site.


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## GGTFM (Oct 7, 2014)

MildSA said:


> I'm open to LDR but it's a problem b/c it's 2000 miles which means besides money time would an issue thus I would PREFER someone in my area just to save both parties the hassle of having to travel 2000 miles whenever you want to see each other.
> 
> As far as the holla part, I was just trying to indicate that I'm open to getting to know (not necessarily date) my fellow SoCal single(+looking) ladies if we know each other from SAS & they happen to be interested. If they have read my posts they should have a rough idea of what am about & vice versa.....it's not like I'm asking random female posters to go on a date w/ me right away just b/c they are single & from SoCal. I don't see how it's any different the way folks initiate conversations on every other popular dating site.


Yeah I guess I can understand that.

You can't really expect girls who have seen your posts including this one to just message you because you think they have a good enough grasp on who you are though. You're gonna have to message them first whether you like it or not. Besides messaging them first could be a baby step to building up your confidence maybe?


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## Buckyx (Nov 1, 2014)

well considering how hard is even making friends here, cant imagine dating someone lol


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

How many times has this thread been made? I feel like fifty different people have made it fifty times.

Anyway: ugh. All the other nay-sayers have already explained the whys and hows and I don't want to repeat them, so I'm just going to leave my opinion as this. "Ugh".



Mr Bacon said:


> yeah, I can already predict a tsunami of threads hitting the frustration board...
> 
> "_not even the socially anxious girls find me attractive_"
> "_SAS is just like POF_"
> ...


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

lisbeth said:


> How many times has this thread been made? I feel like fifty different people have made it fifty times.


And this affects your life how?


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

As someone else mentioned, there was a group that someone posted up a while back, and everyone that joined it was male on their profile.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

There is nothing stopping you from PM people to ask, but tbh there are only a couple so far that seem intriguing and I think they all live a distance away anyway.


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## Teflondon (Dec 5, 2014)

I like long walks on the beach and tipsy women with low standards. Not all at once now ladies.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

We already have profiles for every member. Read them and send messages.


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## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

Here, http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/memberlist.php?do=search you can search every member who has socal listed as their location. Have fun.


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

At one point in SAS existence many years ago before many of your guys time on here, they tried just that, to form a community to do just what you wanted. Though not well implemented, a mess, and not useful. They quietly got rid of it and return to just a forum.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

You would see a lot more alpha male behavior in the forums.


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

scarpia said:


> You would see a lot more alpha male behavior in the forums.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)




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## TeenyBeany (Sep 3, 2008)

I think this is a great idea. It could be called, "The Chronicles of Being Single" ... after all, singles do go through slightly different struggles than those who are attached. What do you think, @butters2962 ?


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## bluecrime (Jan 27, 2013)

This is easily the worst suggestion for an addition to these forums&#8230; ever.


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## butters2962 (Nov 24, 2012)

This site is like 90% straight dudes... Sounds like a recipe for disaster.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

This isn't a dating site.


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