# I can't open up to my therapist.



## cerisebutterflies (Feb 3, 2009)

Hi, 

I started therapy a month ago. I am finding it helpful but I am finding it difficult to be more open with her. I have told her things I would have never been able to tell anyone, I just can't bite the bullet and say exactly how I feel.
Can anyone relate?

Sinead x


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## nightwalker (Nov 20, 2008)

Yup. Same here. But i'm slowly getting used to her. I have my 5th session tomorrow.


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## seanybhoy (Mar 2, 2008)

Ya i know the feeling.

I changed therapist as a result i was seeing a gurly but i felt so lame opening up to her since she was like the same age as me n cute aww man i felt so lame lol.

But yeah if the problem persists then dont feel scared to ask to be referred to someone else she'll understand and besides she'll have your best interests at heart.

Oh n she can even give your new therapist all your background info so ya dont have to go through the whole weirdy opening up thing all over again.

Anyways good luck.


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## shadowsandlight (Jan 24, 2009)

Is the issue sharing your feelings, period, or is it a difficulty in talking about them during the session? If it's the latter, it might help to keep a journal during the week about your thoughts and feelings and then bring it to each session for the therapist to read. It can be hard for us to collect all our thoughts and feelings and spit them out on cue, especially with social anxiety. 

If it's a matter of just not being comfortable with the therapist, as others have suggested, giving it time, finding a different therapist, or online therapy are all good potential solutions.


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## goldengirl (Feb 14, 2009)

Hi!

I can relate to this situation; I began seeing a female therapist after the birth of my second child following a sever post-partum depression (13 years ago). I have since sufferred from social anxiety, panic attacks, depression, etc. I just recently began seeing a male therapist after becoming basically home-bound and having to take a leave of absence from my job. I grew up as a tom-boy, and the only girl with two brothers and I felt (sorry ladies!) as catty as woman can be, I would definetly be more suited for a male therapist...I had no idea that I would spend the enire session tryng to be like I was back in the "neighborhood" with "the boys" and would not let myself cry in front of him or experience any kind of emotional release, even when talking about very painful experiences or I would avoid talking about something because I knew it might emote tears. 

I think it does take time to develop a bond with a therapist and, in my experience, sex (as well as age etc.) could be a factor regarding one's comfort level. But if you are still not comfortable after a few months (like me) it might be time to search for a new therapist. Or if you are truly comfortable wit the therapist and have decided that it is not him/her, you may have to re-examine your own committment and/or comfort level and push yourself a little harder in order to allow more healing.


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## pook (Feb 8, 2009)

you should be able to open up to your therapist. It can be difficult at first. Sometimes you have to go through a few people before you find somebody you can really speak to.


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## n1kkuh (Jul 11, 2008)

I wasn't able to open up to mine until my 8th sesh. I wasn't able to open up as well the 9th and I have my 10th and final one tomorrow. I wasted a lot of time and I wish I just switched to a different therapist, because the other therapist I was able to open up with a lot more easily. 
My advice is if you aren't feeling it, don't do it, that simple. Just switch. But you'll get 50 yes 50 no on these boards so just trust yourself.


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## sabueed (May 8, 2008)

you are not alone. i always say to myself that i am going to tell my therapist everything. Never happens.


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## psychedelia (Jul 31, 2007)

MDMA was used when it was legal for this sort of thing.

I know it's illegal know, but I think it actually did alot of positive things back then when used in the right environment.

Just thought i'd throw the idea out there, it couldn't really do any harm if you considered it as say a last resort. 

Of course none of us here would even begin to consider such a thing unless in a place where it was legal. 

The internet is full of information one could read up about it.


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## golden (Feb 17, 2009)

cerisebutterflies said:


> Hi,
> 
> I started therapy a month ago. I am finding it helpful but I am finding it difficult to be more open with her. I have told her things I would have never been able to tell anyone, I just can't bite the bullet and say exactly how I feel.
> Can anyone relate?
> ...


Yep. One thing I did was write it out on a letter and then give it to her to read. I had a horrible time talking in therapy so if there was anything major I WANTED to say but I COULDN'T then I would write it out on a letter and give it to her. It worked out pretty damn well to tell you the truth.


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## hopeatsunrise (Feb 26, 2009)

I can relate to this also.. personally it takes a long time to build up trust with a counsellor (or anyone).. how would you feel talking to your counsellor about this difficulty? It may open up the door for you. Good luck


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