# I've missed way too much school and I'm having trouble getting back



## kb2015 (Feb 26, 2015)

Ever since fourth grade, I've missed two or the days at a time on a regular basis. Usually this starts when I miss a day because I'm sick or really tired or something happens with my family (for example, once I missed a day because I was at the ER when my brother cut himself and wanted me to come with him when he got stitches, another time just last month my sister ran away for a week and when she came back she wouldn't talk or listen to anyone but me and I didn't want to leave her alone in case she left again and I want there to talk her out of it). Once I've missed a little school, I start having trouble going back. Usually I return within two or three days and I catch up and everything's okay. This semester though, after missing the second week after break because I was sick then a week because of my sister then another four days when I got sick again (I don't usually get sick this often) with about a week at school after each time I missed, I have missed almost two weeks of school due to anxiety. This happened right after the second time I was sick, which means I've been gone for almost three weeks.

It's my second semester of my senior year of high school. I know I need to get to school. I could lose my admissions status and scholarships at the college's I've applied to if I don't do well this semester. Before this I've had straight As academically, with two Bs in electives (choir and a dance class I took for P.E. credit). Now I've missed so much that I might get taken out of my two AP classes and I have horrible grades. I've been trying to keep up with homework at home but I'm really far behind and completely overwhelmed. I'm such a perfectionist I'll get upset over minor mistakes on homework and feel like I have to do it all perfectly and take forever doing simple assignments to make sure they're correct.

I've really tried to go to school. I'll get ready and out the door and when I get to the school I start freaking out (shaky, almost hyperventilating, about to cry, feels like when you stand up too fast, start sweating, and can't reason through it) and can't go in.

I've talked with the school psychologist (not a school counselor... He's actually the school psychologist) and he thinks I have an anxiety disorder. I've talked to the therapist my brother and sister go to (not much help... He's a Christian therapist and just keeps saying "You can do anything through Christ who gives you strength" and stuff like that) and have an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow. I went to my pediatrician who said she can't prescribe anything but she wants me to do a blood test (to check for possible medical causes) and an EKG (my heart starts racing when I'm freaking out and she wants to make sure there's not a problem there... I'm pretty sure it's just cause that's a normal reaction to fear). 

My mom is supportive... She's tried to help me get to school a few times by taking it one step at a time. I got out of bed and ready and into the car. We got donuts at a place a couple blocks from my school. Then we went to the parking lot of a grocery store that's right next to the school and I was mostly okay. But when we got to the school parking lot I started freaking out again. My dad said I'm just being lazy and that the whole thing is stupid and I'll never succeed in life without a good work ethic. Sometimes I think he's right. I know the whole thing is stupid but I really can't get to school and I can't wait to go until I've just gotten over it or whatever. What can I do to get myself to school? Today or tomorrow. Please help!


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## BAH (Feb 12, 2012)

The anxiety and having trouble with schoolwork is understandable..but everything else seems to be excuses after excuses. Getting to school "One step at a time" will likely take long,you need to just go to school with barely,to little thoughts at all during your 1st day back.Try not to think about the "What ifs" or what others are going to think,focus on getting back on tack,the important things.You're going to need to talk to your instructors about if there's any chance that you can make up all the work for your classes.Your last resort would be to get your GED if all fails.


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