# How did you meet your friends at college?



## XRik7X (Jun 11, 2014)

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## ClintCooperJM (Mar 5, 2017)

I just went up and talked to them.
I know that it sound hard but I just had to force myself to do it because I was getting really lonely and bored and maybe depressed.
Also this was like in my fourth semester of college so it took a long time to actually do it.


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## Virgo (Jun 27, 2016)

I'm an art major so I usually go through classes with mainly the same exact people. After a while you all come to recognize each other and talk. It's like, you're not the only one in college starting off with no friends, and the second semester they recognize you, so they're like "hey." I made a lot of friends in college that way. Or just the people I was sitting near, I'd say hi to. Started off talking about class-related stuff, like asking a question or expressing a concern about something that likely everyone else is thinking, lol. Starts off super casual. Granted, I don't hang out with any of these "friends" outside of college but some of them, if I made an effort, I could. But some of us hang out quite a lot on campus, not just in class.

Also I help run my school's Animation Club, and those people are AWESOME! Lots of new friends I met there. We talk by just watching and showing each other animations and talking about outside art projects and such.

So yes, yes, clubs can actually be very effective in making school friends.

But alas I have been spending all of my (early) spring break completely alone....


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## flyingMint (Aug 31, 2015)

Atheism said:


> I'm an art major so I usually go through classes with mainly the same exact people. After a while you all come to recognize each other and talk. It's like, you're not the only one in college starting off with no friends, and the second semester they recognize you, so they're like "hey." I made a lot of friends in college that way. Or just the people I was sitting near, I'd say hi to. Started off talking about class-related stuff, like asking a question or expressing a concern about something that likely everyone else is thinking, lol. Starts off super casual. Granted, I don't hang out with any of these "friends" outside of college but some of them, if I made an effort, I could. But some of us hang out quite a lot on campus, not just in class.
> 
> Also I help run my school's Animation Club, and those people are AWESOME! Lots of new friends I met there. We talk by just watching and showing each other animations and talking about outside art projects and such.
> 
> ...


Thanks for this. I've been down about not being able to make friends lately, this gives me some hope  
I should try joining some clubs soon.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Never made any.


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## Virgo (Jun 27, 2016)

flyingMint said:


> Thanks for this. I've been down about not being able to make friends lately, this gives me some hope
> I should try joining some clubs soon.


 I'm glad.

A lot of people think it's kind of generic to just say "oh join a club". But it really, really, is helpful. That, and a combination of trying to be a little brave. When it's something you are interested in, you have much more to talk about. And even if it's a service club like doing community events, you're forced to work with people and get to know them.

And trust me, when it comes to the classes, I'm not in every single "social circle" either between the art students, nope, definitely not a lot of them lol. I'm no social butterfly but it's really nice to have some friends!


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## Nitrogen (Dec 24, 2012)

Atheism said:


> I'm an art major so I usually go through classes with mainly the same exact people. After a while you all come to recognize each other and talk. It's like, you're not the only one in college starting off with no friends, and the second semester they recognize you, so they're like "hey." I made a lot of friends in college that way.


This is one thing I really envy about arts & humanities majors... it seems much, much easier to make connections with people and there's an established 'community' I guess? You're always around the same people, smaller class sizes, it's easier to get to know them, etc.

Meanwhile being in STEM, even as a biomed student, my lecture halls are enormous (250-300+ people), and everyone is either so busy with their work it's impossible to get to know anyone, or everyone tends to stay to themselves. There's just not a lot of collaboration. It's a lonely major honestly.

I was only able to make friends through group therapy, and recently, working in a lab for undergraduate research and connecting with other students there. I've never made a friend from lectures or labs. I attend clubs every Friday but still don't know anyone I'd consider a friend.


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## Virgo (Jun 27, 2016)

Nitrogen said:


> This is one thing I really envy about arts & humanities majors... it seems much, much easier to make connections with people and there's an established 'community' I guess? You're always around the same people, smaller class sizes, it's easier to get to know them, etc.
> 
> Meanwhile being in STEM, even as a biomed student, my lecture halls are enormous (250-300+ people), and everyone is either so busy with their work it's impossible to get to know anyone, or everyone tends to stay to themselves. There's just not a lot of collaboration. It's a lonely major honestly.
> 
> I was only able to make friends through group therapy, and recently, working in a lab for undergraduate research and connecting with other students there. I've never made a friend from lectures or labs. I attend clubs every Friday but still don't know anyone I'd consider a friend.


Yeah there's definitely an established community. It's like a small high school, to be honest. Even the professors, everyone just knows them by their first name. I'm hardly outside of the Arts building (which is in the middle of nowhere). I forget there's the rest of the school, lol.

Yeah in a class environment like that, I don't see anyone making friends, which must be pretty rough. At least it's not like, others are managing to make friends around you and you're the odd one.

Hmm you never made friends with lab partners? You just do the work I guess? Probably, considering it must be completely new lab partners every time.

Sounds like you go to a big uni. I'm in community college. Most classes are 20-35 people and art classes go as small at like, 10 people lol. Actually one of my classes had 4 people. No lie. They didn't cancel it. Well this might sound crazy but surely your school has social events? You may not feel like going, because it really is a pain going out of your way, but for instance. My college on Valentine's Day had a "singles" event for people to make friends and they called it something cute, I forget what it was called. Or, yknow, some club is hosting some sort of carnival soon. And we always have a spring picnic. I don't know, does your school do stupid things like that? You may have to resort to that lol. In some cases it sucks because a lot of them are events you'd go to _with friends_. But I don't know, some of them are more encouraging to "make friends", usually in the beginning of the semester.

Also what school clubs are you a part of?


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## BAH (Feb 12, 2012)

Wut


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## Nitrogen (Dec 24, 2012)

Atheism said:


> Yeah there's definitely an established community. It's like a small high school, to be honest. Even the professors, everyone just knows them by their first name. I'm hardly outside of the Arts building (which is in the middle of nowhere). I forget there's the rest of the school, lol.
> 
> Yeah in a class environment like that, I don't see anyone making friends, which must be pretty rough. At least it's not like, others are managing to make friends around you and you're the odd one.
> 
> ...


In some ways I really wished I went to CC instead of jumping head-first into uni. It probably would have saved me a lot of grief, loneliness and cash.

The odd part is that I frequently see groups of friends sitting next to each other in these lecture halls, and it kinda perplexes me how that even happens. Maybe they live together or they're friends and just schedule their semesters similarly so they can share the same classes? idk.

I do talk to my lab partners but it's nothing that actually goes beyond lab. One of them came with me to lecture afterward because she missed her lecture which was earlier in the week. We had common interests and whatnot, and she seemed cool but it's like.. I doubt anything is going to come from that. It was a one-time thing.

My school does have social events, but they don't exactly thrill me or cater to my interests. And they're kind of rare given the amount of people at my uni (~24k people). Clubs are barely advertised, it took me tooth and nail just to find the ones I'm attending now. I just hang out with one friend every week and play pool and arcade games and meet other people that way because nothing else has really worked.

I'm in a botany club and an anime club. The former is much smaller and more personal interaction, but again, I just really don't click with anyone there. I just go because I love plants lol. As for the latter, I was hoping to meet geekier/nerdier people who share the same interests but it's not exactly a club that encourages conversation... I only talk with people if they notice me playing a game on my 3DS. Sucks.


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## aralez (Jan 16, 2016)

I've tried joining clubs but I still can't integrate. Even if I come away from a conversation with someone thinking it was good, it never progresses any further. I can't understand what I'm missing. How do people do it?!


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

I graduated from college last year without making any friends.


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## Virgo (Jun 27, 2016)

aralez said:


> I've tried joining clubs but I still can't integrate. Even if I come away from a conversation with someone thinking it was good, it never progresses any further. I can't understand what I'm missing. How do people do it?!


I mean that's really all I do in school, is have conversations with people. I still feel good about it. Every now and then we will hang out and get food on campus or a little bit off campus and sometimes we text. That's as far as I ever got. What are you looking for, long-term friendships? People to be with outside of school? I haven't figured that out yet either, it's a mystery...


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