# Anybody want to be be a hermit?



## eccentricpeter

*To hermit or not to hermit*

I've gone a week without any human contact. I kinda liked it.


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## ozkr

I wouldn't really want to be one because I actually don't like being completely alone. Sure, I am alone most of the time and I don't like being among large groups of people, but I definitely would not like being completely isolated because much of my current discomfort comes from the fact I can't interact with people as much as I wish I could.


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## EmptyRoom

I'm already technically living the hermit life style 8)

Never leave the house - Check
Cooped up in a room all day - Check
Seclusion from others - Check


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## Cyber Lume

It's not that I'm opposed to this thread in any way in particular...but is there any reason for it being in the Spirituality forum? I mean, were you looking for spiritual support? If not, it seems like this thread should be relocated. 

Incidentally, I don't really want to be a hermit. I like being alone, but I also want to be capable of functioning healthily around other people.


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## Globe_Trekker

In one word: NO

Anyone who does must be an animal, because all people need human contact from time to time. There's a reason why isolation is used as a method of punishment in prisons. I thought I would be happy alone; now I am and the isolation can be devestating. On top of all your other problems don't also isolate yourself from the world. There's _always _something to live for.


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## ozkr

Relax, dude. Globe_trekker has an opinion, so he's free to express it. Is it different from yours? Fine. Take is as that and don't insult him or take it personally. Besides, you could take "animal" in the same way people take "that's insane!!!", or you could take it apart and be offended by all the little technicalities and implications derived from such a short comment.


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## Globe_Trekker

eccentricpeter said:


> brother I think you should watch what you're saying. how can anyone who enjoys solitude be an animal? Firstly, your comment is idiotic because human beings are animals too. Secondly, most animals live in groups. Thirdly, calling someone an animal just because he/she doesnt follow your own principles is outright deragetory. By your utterly ignorant sense, do you consider people who medidate for years and years and even their whole life animals? In Buddhist, Hindu and other religions they're called GODS.
> Your problem is that you think there is nothing beyond you. Eveything you know is right. Years of living in a society makes you think that it's normal. You don't decide what's right or wrong, whats normal or not. society does that for you. You think hermits are animals because you're programmed that way. But its good to stay neutral in such matters because there might me something you don't know.
> For example, in some countries people stone criminals to death. Of course for us it's outright wrong, but for them it's perfectly right. Now you can advocate about how much that is wrong and how those people are bad, but you can't convince any of the people who actually did it. Like you can't convince al qaeda that world conquest is not possible for them or whatever.
> Anyways, don't think that what you think is not good makes one a complete different species of living beings.
> You are probably social phobic like us. What do you say when a 8 year old says to you "YOU ARE SCARED TO TALK TO PEOPLE. THEY'RE ANIMALS OF YOUR OWN SPECIES AND YOUR SCARED OF THEM LOL. EVEN 5 YEAR OLDS ARE MORE CONFIDENT THAN YOU YOU RETARD! GET A LIFE BRO. AND IF I SEE YOU HERE AGAIN I M GONNA KICK YOUR *** LOL. SCARED OF PEOPLE!!!THATS THE MOST LOSER THING TO BE OF ALL LOSERS. YOUR NOT A HUMAN BEING. YOUR AN ANIMAL. "
> What exactly would be going in your mind when an 8 year old says that, and on top of that, everything he says is true? Of course you're not an animal in the sense the kid tells it. You're just different. And thats beyond the understanding of the little kid.
> Well, you're being that little kid with me right now.
> And I am sorry to say this but you don't deserve to be listened to so stay off the thread please.


First of all, I am truly sorry if I offended you eccentricpeter. I have read about your situation and the stuff you are going through right now. I didn't mean any personal harm with my comment. But I have to stand up for myself. First, I make a distinction between solitude and isolation/loneliness. Solitude is fine because it is temporary. Isolation is destructive because it consists of prolonged periods without human contact. Without pretending to know much about human psychology I do know that every person needs human contact from time to time. It's a basic human need to have love and intimacy according to Maslow. I am more or less isolated without friends right now and it doesn't feel good. I challenge you to find anyone who enjoys living like a true hermit. People can do what they like. I'm not one to decide this. I only got the impression that you intended to isolate yourself completely from the world and according to my personal experience I would warn against doing such a thing. Perhaps animal was the wrong term, but I do believe it is inhuman in the sense that prolonged isolation causes mental harm and psychological instability. In fact it has been proven in studies that prolonged isolation in prisoners is paramount to mental torture. I hope you understand because I was only trying to give advice.


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## Globe_Trekker

eccentricpeter said:


> So one philosopher tells that and it's all true? This is an invalid argument. I don't agree to most of the people so this one is not going to change what I think is right and wrong, and what I think is human or not.
> 
> _*Abraham Maslow was a humanist psychologist, not a philosopher. I think you'll find that his theories of human motivation and needs are accepted by most mainstream psychologists. It is a fact of theory that humans need to feel belonged, need love, intimacy and human contact. But everyone is entitled to their opinion and I'm not going to argue with that. *_
> 
> In Hinduism, which is my ancient background though I am an atheist, true salvation (happiness) can only be achieved through hermitage. There are lots of Sadhus and Babas who are true hermits, dont wear anything and eat off the forests. They're said to be the happiest of human beings.
> 
> *And you think living off the forest and in caves is a good lifestyle? I'm not the one to judge whether they are happy or not; I know I wouldn't enjoy it. Also even Sadhus and Babas must have someone to talk to from time to time. *
> 
> Gautam Buddha lived the life of a hermit for years in the Buddhism religion.
> 
> These are evidences if you are religious.
> 
> Now, it's difficult to find a true hermit because if he/she is true it's pretty difficult to spot them, know that they are true hermits and find out if he/she is happy or not. The principle is isolation so they would have nothing to get by telling other people that they are hermits/happy.
> Still there are people who are trying and successful in the hermit life and the more they're alone the happier they are. You can visit here for more information and I think you should read some insightful posts before judging people different that you. It would be stupid to say all those people are unhappy/ignorant, while it might be you who is unhappy/ignorant after all.
> 
> *I see the forum, but I'm just stating this from my point of view. It may be right or wrong. I suppose short periods of isolation is fine, but not years and years of it. *
> 
> Also if you follow hikikomoris and their story around the internet and forums, they're perfectly happy with their life and do what they wanna do and spend their time exactly how they want. Lot of them aren't even socially anxious. *I think most of them have their parents to talk to. I myself was what you might term a hikikomori for 6x6 months and felt great to begin with. Finally peace and quiet from society. Today I just feel lonely and isolated. Perhaps this is different from person to person. Perhaps there are people who truly do enjoy being isolated for years, even decades at a time. *Yes, it might be harmful for the productivity of the society but productivity mostly does is destroy nature beyond its sustainability level so the hermit doesn't have anything to give and doesn't care much of the society. *Is this why you have such a negative attitude of people? If everyone isolates themselves society goes bankrupt. *What sounds really inhuman to you might be the most laid back *as in lazy? *and happy people in the world, and it's their decision, like you made yours to call people beyond your understanding animals and inhuman. You have no superior reasoning whatsoever to prove that it's any more or less human the way they live. And happiness is not an entity a human being can entitle to another type of human beings based on his/her opinions. *You are right, I can only base my opinion on my own negative personal experiences with isolation and what I read about it on the Internet, in books etc. The impression I get is that prolonged isolation is destructive to human health. *
> 
> True hermitage doesn't mean you are doomed or lose your 'virginity' if you happen to run across another human being. It's about the satisfaction and happiness one finds while in the company of nobody else and lives through self sustaining means and truly sub merges his life with the nature as it is. I myself aim for that. I don't care if I happen to phone somebody I care about once in a while, i am not doomed. I don't even worry whether I'll be totally successful. But I choose not to. And I won't listen to anything people say that doesn't convince me that hermitage is wrong, unlike this:
> 
> So if you are mentally instable you are not human? *I think you'll agree that mental instability and psychological harm is detrimental to human health, right? Thus I consider prolonged isolation inhuman. By inhuman I mean detrimental to human health. *That is the dumbest thing I've heard in months. And what makes you think I am psychologically stable at the first place? I am already instable thus inhuman, why do I care? Why not as well do what you enjoy? solitude. *But I am talking about isolation. *Which means, you are wrong, and you are wrong in my sense. *This is your opinion and I respect you for it. But I don't agree.* I might not ever be able to convince you so, but there is no reason to do so. Because your conscience is yours and it takes a lot to affect a closed one for which I neither have the time nor resources.
> 
> I don't think you read my last post properly, read it again, you'll figure out why exactly *your* advice is what I don't need.
> 
> Nothing personal as always. *I know*


On a different matter. I don't like the way you treated some people in the thread 'Just give up' (now closed). The advice is bad on a forum where all people need is the exact opposite: positive feedback. You should learn to respect people more. I think you'll find most people on here are willing to treat you kindly but not as long as you have that nasty attitude of yours. 

Well, I can't stop you from isolating yourself. But if ever you come to realize what true loneliness entails don't say I didn't warn you! Nothing personal either


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## stylicho

http://www.details.com/culture-trends/career-and-money/200907/meet-the-man-who-lives-on-zero-dollars
The Ultimate Hermit


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## ZeroG64

I kinda of have hermit tendencies. I quite like the idea and understand why eccentricpeter was so offended by the comment as I felt it was a pretty insensitive thing to say on this forum. However, I feel there may be some truth to it, understand that we are all socialising right now via the internet, I wouldn't want that taken away from me as much as I do thoroughly love my own space and company. What about the years of us growing up as children? our mothers who nurtured us and gave us love...that's important, we need love it's how we thrive, it's the most powerful emotion/energy of all.

I don't doubt you could receive/give that love with God if you were to go about being a hermit for these reasons but if you were an atheist then I would think it would be a terrible choice and horrible way to live.


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## neeko

Yes, I have wanted to be a hermit before. At this moment in time, it is sort of a little fantasy to build a tiny little place up in the himalayas, nearer to the river Ganges source where the water is cleaner looking, and then just live my little hermit life.


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## King Moonracer

i thouhgt about it once, but then i realized i actually like people, because i gain energy from my family. And for some reason, i have the urge to go to walmart or the mall or something all the time....Yet i hate school, and am completely exhausted after a few hours at college.....Ughhhh i wish i didnt have to play college baseball. We are goin on a week trip on spring break, ive never been away from my family so long...it will probably be a life changing experience for me....hmm i might actually reveal my true self to people....it seems if im around the same few people for like 8 hours strait, ill losen up a little....i hope it still works that way..its been a long time since i opened up to people.


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## honeybear1990

Yes!! My favourite books and movies as a child pertained to living alone in the wilderness; fending for myself, answering to no one. That is my ultimate dream


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## CeilingStarer

I've always fantasized about the hermit lifestyle. I'd like to live in that floating temple from the Korean movie "Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter... and Spring"... if anyone has seen it. Great movie. I recommend it if you're the loner type with an interest in Buddhism.

I probably wouldn't even crave human contact if I had a dog or something for company. Ideally, I'd like to meet up with other hermits though once a month or something to trade and have a couple of drinks. I definitely appreciate limited, quality human contact.



stylicho said:


> http://www.details.com/culture-trends/career-and-money/200907/meet-the-man-who-lives-on-zero-dollars
> The Ultimate Hermit


Hey, thanks for that: really put me in a good mood tonight. I love real people like this. Ran Prieur is another guy I admire (although he has slowly fallen back in to the money economy somewhat for his land project).


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## Scrub-Zero

sign me up! I wouldn't completely vanish from society, though, but living in a house with a small farm where i eat mostly what i can grow myself would be a dream come true.


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## themoth

anybody want to be a hermit?

Yes, and I mainly have felt forced into not being one...


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## mjhea0

eccentricpeter said:


> I know I will never be off of social anxiety and all but I wanna be a hermit. Not in mountains and all but just wanna live alone in a room/house or something. Like those hikikomoris in Japan. They have such a good life unlike poor me with no money.
> Anybody else share these thoughts?


Sounds great, but how does one pay for it. Do they just give rooms/houses away to hermits in Japan?


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## Robot the Human

I've literally spent years in a row at home. Not leaving my property. I don't know if you count that as being a hermit, because I did come in contact with my immediate family. I honestly believe I spent 4 years in a row entirely at my house and property. If it weren't for my grandma being deathly ill, I could have made it 5-7 years. After breaking my streak and getting out of the house a little, I think it was another year or so off and on up until now living back in my cave. After I adapted to staying home 7 days a week, 30 days a month, time started to fly by and just run together in a blur. Staying up all night wasn't fun anymore, because it just happened way too quickly. One day felt like, half a day. Fast forwarding your life doesn't feel very fun.

Once you spend years cooped up, and you step out into the world again, it can be a very sad reality. Noticing buildings that were once there, now gone. Knowing that so and so died, and no longer lives in that house, etc. Even new soda machines and cars stood out to me. It felt a lot like just coming out of a coma, or being thrown into the future. I enjoyed most of my time at home, but once it was over it was quite depressing for a while.

Probably the hardest thing was, not getting to experience Christmas. It didn't feel like Christmas, without seeing lights on houses, decorations in the mall or snow on the streets. Holidays in general were very depressing and they just didn't seem to satisfy me like the days when I regularly got out of the house.


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## scriabin221

I wouldn't mind being a hermit at all. I hope someday to live a reclusive life somewhere far away. I already am pretty reclusive, I hang with people occasionally, and I have a girlfriend, but I spend a lot of time alone, though not enough, really. The thing about the hikikomori, though, is that they actually do suffer from things like SA most of the time and aren't that great for Japan's economy, since they contribute little back. But aside from that, the hermit life doesn't sound bad. It's most the fact that the majority of people are extroverts.


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## Neptunus

If only I had the money!


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## ambergris

A couple of hundred years ago it was quite fashionable among rich people to keep a hermit. You would have a picturesque cottage or cave on your estate, install the hermit, and drop in with your visitors every so often to hear their quaint spiritual wisdom. 

I feel that religious solitude was an excellent way for society to deal with the issue of extreme introversion. If I had been born a few hundred years ago I think I would have been an anchoress, or failing that a nun (preferably in a silent order). We don't really have that framework anymore, and even if we did my atheism would prevent me from pursuing that path.


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## tiredandworn

I tend to be a recluse because I am Avpd. I need and want human contact. But I am like a sensitive plant. I love human contact. But I feel so horrible about who I am that Its hard for me to be with people. In a way I guess I choose this. Because I am not fighting it in therapy. I am actually too afraid of being hurt in therapy. I lost my therapists due to medicare, which only covers phd's. And have not chosen to risk finding a hard core phd in psych who is covered by both medicare and medicaid ( supplimental) .


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## seeker28

Yes, I have seriously thought about becoming a hermit. It's actually the reason why I would never consider comitting a suicide. If I conclude one day that I can't be happy living in a society I can still run away and live on my own in the nature. I'm honestly not scared of the idea and I often daydream about how amazing it would be to live in a small schack next to a lake in the middle of nowhere where my only worry would be "what will I eat today?".


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## CeilingStarer

seeker28 said:


> Yes, I have seriously thought about becoming a hermit. It's actually the reason why I would never consider comitting a suicide. If I conclude one day that I can't be happy living in a society I can still run away and live on my own in the nature.


Yes, I have had similar revelations regarding suicide vs just dropping out.


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## contranigma

CeilingStarer said:


> Yes, I have had similar revelations regarding suicide vs just dropping out.


Me too, but if you are serious about it, OP, I think the idea should cause you some fear. If you think about it realistically, it would be a very hard thing to live in the wilderness by yourself. Injuries or sickness could land you back in society in a hospital with massive debt, unless you considered suicide to be insurance against returning to society.

Anyway, I too have considered becoming a hermit, but I want this lifestyle to be more than a dream of mine, so I am willing to make compromises necessary to attain it. That means I plan on living as a sort of pseudo-hermit. As others have pointed out it takes money, so I'm going to school and plan on working a job. But in my free-time I want to build my own house and live "reclusively". I'm not planning on total isolation, so some of you may not qualify that lifestyle as being a hermit. But I figure some isolation is better than none. And I agree with others that some isolation is probably better than total isolation in terms of long-term mental health.


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## antonina

*Other times, cultures*

I don't think I could live as a complete hermit but I don't think we should judge the lifestyle, as what is acceptable changes with the time and place one is living in.

It's interesting how hermits in Hinduism and Buddhism are seen as being very evolved and respected. It actually is much more common in those traditions.

However, it also was quite common in Christianity. Many of the great saints were hermits. St. Anthony was a hermit who lived out in a cave in the desert. People of that time respected him greatly. He was said to have saved the Christian church.

It seems that everything is interpreted through a cultural lens.

It also seems the more commercial our society has become the more extroverted it has become. I think this is why the hermit's path is seen as being less valued in western countries today. The life of reflection is no longer valued in an endless pursuit of material goods.

I think times need to change again though and people need to be more reflective about their actions when we see that the materialistic lifestyle is destructive to the planet. An endless pursuit of riches and resources in the external world is not sustainable.

I think it's interesting to learn more about living naturally off the land and not being forced to be a part of something destructive.

I think that solitude and reflection are sorely lacking in cultures in the west and we could learn something from people from other times and places.

I'm not saying everyone should be a complete hermit but maybe we can learn something from the mystics. I also think that times of solitude and reflection would actually be good for everyone especially those who are more extroverted and don't reflect on their actions. I also don't think becoming a hermit should be done solely to avoid feared situations but as part of some sort of spiritual path.


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## laquetia

i dont really like the idea of being a hermit, it sounds like giving up. maybe you are only enjoying it at the moment because you are not forcing yourself to do anything, and have ridden yourself of guilt. you might get depressed eventually. but who knows... maybe you can be a hermit and be happy, maybe that life is meant for you. although i'm inclined to think not...


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## Dub16

Dammit, I thought it said "Kermit". That wudda been way better. Kermit rules!


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## boosh

Dub16 said:


> Dammit, I thought it said "Kermit". That wudda been way better. Kermit rules!


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## opalsky

:teeth:teeth:teeth:teeth:teeth:teeth:teeth:teeth:teeth


eccentricpeter said:


> I've gone a week without any human contact. I kinda liked it.


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## sure thing

I am not a hermit and I know I would not want to be a hermit because I have become quite reclusive in the past and it made me miserable. But I do think I've probably got my personal social balance right now and I think maybe for most people it is about personal balance. To give a brief idea, I work mon-fri 9-5 and I get on well with most of the people at work and enjoy their company but I don't feel the need to pursue any of those relationships outside of work. I live on my own and love it. I'm a musician and practice every evening and gig a few times a month. This week, for example, I haven't seen anyone at all (outside of work). But I am playing on sunday night so will see people then. When I do gigs and practices, I am quite sociable but get burnt out quickly. I still fantasise sometimes about being a hermit but for me I know the reality would probably drive me mad and I think most people are social beings but it must be right for some people otherwise they wouldn't do it successfully.


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## Becca333

I'm an Introvert, so I have hermit tendancies. I have no need for continual human contact. It's draining. I wouldn't recommend it though, my lifestyle would drive an Extrovert insane prolly - along with my friends! LOL


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## Givenupongod

I desperately need to be a hermit. People have completely destroyed any faith I ever had in God. Evil spreads, and people of faith stand there--hands idle, tongues silent, and just let it spread. That's nothing short of letting the monsters get us. It's been two thousand years--nobody's coming. My hatred of people is seething. I need to be protected from a sick society that's making its own monsters. The monsters got me.


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## shyshisho

I wouldn't want to be a hermit but I've always been attracted to monasticism. As a freshman in college, while other guys decorated their walls with girlie posters, I had a picture of Mt. Athos. One of my favorite books is Thomas Merton's Seven Storey Mountain, in which he recounts how he came to join the Trappists. Unfortunately it's not an option for me, being Protestant.

On the other hand, maybe the eremitical life isn't so lonely after all:


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## ReverseThinkingLoner

EmptyRoom said:


> I'm already technically living the hermit life style 8)
> 
> Never leave the house - Check
> Cooped up in a room all day - Check
> Seclusion from others - Check


Yeeeeeep been doing that for years straight now lol and im only 18.


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