# Does your nervousness come off as being stupidity to others?



## Butterflyluv (Feb 12, 2013)

I get super nervous and shy around people I don't feel fully comfortable with and people often mistake this for stupidity or retardation. My peers, teachers and bosses have often commented on me being retarded because of these things but I get so nervous and awkward that I slip up and my mind gets clouded and I just can not say anything right. I get so fed up with this and want to lash out but don't because I dislike hurting others feelings and being seen as sensitive or over reacting.


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## licorice (Oct 5, 2013)

Do people really call real people "retarded"?

I get nervous and slip up, but I try to laugh it off and it seems to work for the most part. Perhaps some people see it as less problematic if even the one making the mistakes doesn't think it's worth worrying about and can relate to them about being lost.

I drew you a picture.


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## working on being happy (Jan 16, 2014)

even if you cant get your words out straight doesn't mean they can be rude. I've been told i'm really scary because i dont talk that much. manly for the same reason. i get all foggy too when i get stressed out. i was still uncomfortable at my job with people i was with for 6 year. shoot i have problems talking to my brother and we've been around each other for 24 for years. what do the people that really know you think about this? I'm sure they don't see you that way. dont listen to those extras


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## So Tactless (Feb 5, 2014)

Butterflyluv said:


> I get super nervous and shy around people I don't feel fully comfortable with and people often mistake this for stupidity or retardation. My peers, teachers and bosses have often commented on me being retarded because of these things but I get so nervous and awkward that I slip up and my mind gets clouded and I just can not say anything right. I get so fed up with this and want to lash out but don't because I dislike hurting others feelings and being seen as sensitive or over reacting.


When I'm at my worst, all the time. I hate when people make that sort of assumption. It pisses me off bigtime.



licorice said:


> Do people really call real people "retarded"


Behind your back they will if you clam up too much. Especially in more severe cases of SA.

If you can't hold a conversation for instance, people will start assuming you're "simple" and begin talking to you like you're special or something. And it's the type of thing that could get you fired too.

It's one of the main reasons I lost my last job.


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## pbjsamm (Jul 16, 2013)

Nervousness can make you appear the fool. It sure happens to me at work all the time. However, it's none of your business what others think of you. That's our problem. We care too much about how we're perceived. Over thinking our emotions and feelings and thoughts is what causes us to trip up. If we relax and have fun, things will go more smoothly. It's just allowing ourselves to get to the point where we feel confident and at ease, so things move along without struggle. I liken it to blinking or walking.. something you do without much thought. If you think about how it's done and you put your focus on it to an extreme, it will start to feel cumbersome. If you just forget about it, it happens naturally. I think we're so tied up into our every feeling, emotion, thought, that it gets to us and manifests itself as tripping up and appearing foolish. We're too focused on the way we're coming across, rather than just going with the flow.


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## purechaos (Dec 18, 2013)

I do "flaky" things when nervous ...


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## Butterflyluv (Feb 12, 2013)

People who truly know me say I'm smart


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## BattyOldMaid (Feb 16, 2014)

So Tactless said:


> If you can't hold a conversation for instance, people will start assuming you're "simple" and begin talking to you like you're special or something.


Ditto, I have so much to offer, I can contribute as much, all the time anyone talks to me I just stand as a mannequin. Take the other day, a cashier says "it's so quiet here today", there were a million quips I could've, should've would've made, one being "heh! Its valentines day their in bed!", I just stood there looking around "err I don't know". She looked at me funny then spoke s-l-o-w-l-y-it-is-raining-today-brrr-cold-yes?

Am not going back there.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Hmm. No. I think it often comes off as rudeness.


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## Melodies0fLife (Sep 17, 2012)

Yes, it does... my blank stare also...


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## original (Nov 18, 2011)

I worry about this at work sometimes.im not very talkative and can't think of intelligent things to say when under pressure.

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## tooafraid (Nov 22, 2013)

Yes, in my job whenever there's someone new I'm the one to train them since I'm the most experienced. However due to my constant nervousness, I can never explain the concepts right and the prospective employee is probably is thinking "how on earth did this one get through?!'


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## bringdaruckus (May 26, 2011)

i dont know but recently i was talking to a hiring manager about getting a job man i was so nervous i dont even know why. the hiring manager even told me to relax he could sense my nervousness.. thats pretty embarrassing. he was with another guy too and they looked at each other probably laughed when i left...


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## anomnomnom (May 28, 2013)

Fairly sure my whole building think I'm a sandwhich short of a picnic

I'm actually fairly intelligent/smart if I do say so myself! (good grief, someone with SA complimenting themselves) but I certainly don't come off that way. Occasionally doing something new I might need to ask a question or two till I'm good to get on with it on my own..but what actually happens is I try to plod on myself without 5 seconds of help and end up wasting the day on something I could have done in 30min if I'd just bloody asked :|

I also don't seem to hear people very well in the factory (loud machinery at times) but instead of shouting up "sorry?" or "what did you say?" I just attempt to answer it..and usually get it completely wrong.

Then there's the times someone comes in to deliver/pick something up/make an enquiry..I just stare at them like a moron and go find someone to help because I'm incapable of handling talking to another human being when I'm put on the spot like that..and dont even get me started on how much of a muppet I am on the phone :roll


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## ShineGreymon (May 30, 2013)

Butterflyluv said:


> I get super nervous and shy around people I don't feel fully comfortable with and people often mistake this for stupidity or retardation. My peers, teachers and bosses have often commented on me being retarded because of these things but I get so nervous and awkward that I slip up and my mind gets clouded and I just can not say anything right. I get so fed up with this and want to lash out but don't because I dislike hurting others feelings and being seen as sensitive or over reacting.


Yeap! not wanting to speak excet when neccesary seems to equal = weak, immature.

Although there really not that bad luckily.. then again its only part time.


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## Gas Raid (Feb 19, 2014)

Yeah, my locking up mode comes across as spacing out to some people.


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## amt0715 (Feb 20, 2014)

I have a lot of the same problem....people, especially at work, tend to avoid me now because I just can't/don't talk. I stumble over my words a lot when speaking to a person, but when I write I can compose myself fairly well...


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## User5 (Jun 22, 2010)

I have no common sense. This complicates things.

Edit: Whoops, old thread. See, told ya, lol.


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## TheGuardian (Jun 20, 2015)

Never had that said to me but i feel like i probably look stupid. Sometimes i just want to say to people i'm shy so they don't think i'm weird/stupid/don't like them etc


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## Peterpan89 (May 1, 2016)

I remember once i was really nervous for a job interview and i slowly started to shut down. B4 the interview my mom told me i had a great personality that ppl really like and i would be a great fit for the company. She told me not to worry...to be open and show my personality and i would get the job. Her words made me feel confident and at ease. She was right i got the job and later on was told that the guy who interviewed me ran the office and wasnt impressed with very many ppl but he was with me. Sometimes ppl with sa just need a word of encouragment instead of a joke making fun of them or negative words said behind their backs. I can usually deal with the sa if i have one person who is kind and believes in me.


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## Cletis (Oct 10, 2011)

Yup, all the time. Mostly people have told me I'm "special". :roll


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

*ever wait for your phone to ring?*

delivery doesn't turn up?

no emails received? how long?

I start things. I suggest.

No response gets me logging the duration


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## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

Butterflyluv said:


> I get super nervous and shy around people I don't feel fully comfortable with and people often mistake this for stupidity or retardation. My peers, teachers and bosses have often commented on me being retarded because of these things but I get so nervous and awkward that I slip up and my mind gets clouded and I just can not say anything right. I get so fed up with this and want to lash out but don't because I dislike hurting others feelings and being seen as sensitive or over reacting.


People have never said anything to me but i tend to forget a word or end up saying something completely different i have to go over what i need to say before i get in the situation if not to the person i am talking to good luck trying to work out i am saying


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## Dan the man (Jul 4, 2013)

Yeah or just viewed as being a bit eccentric


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## hulkamaniak (Mar 21, 2008)

At my previous job, was called fat, geeky, daft, stupid and retarded on a near daily basis, so yes.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

I think people just think I'm mean or that I must be weak or something. It makes me a target for dickheads until I snap back at them. It makes me have a lot of problems with certain types of people


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