# There just has to be...



## Notgoingout (Mar 19, 2015)

There just has to be a girl out there that will be perfect for me? Just a girl that's kind, romantic, wants an intense relationship, (in terms of spending time together) is funny, empathetic and someone with a lot of love to give. Someone who has experienced the same frustration with SA would also be great. 

Do you tell yourself you'll find someone one day? I find it so hard some days, being alone. It makes me feel sick sometimes. I just keep hoping i'll meet someone either online or stumble across someone out and about. I mean i'm at the point where if I met someone foreign and we talked and felt a connection i'd go and meet them! So anyone else try to think positively and tell themselves what they want will happen? Do you find it hard trying to be positive about your 'dreams'?


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## Notgoingout (Mar 19, 2015)

Edited, put in new questions, seeing as it failed miserably before!!


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## AnetaBenkston (Feb 14, 2015)

HHgot232 said:


> Someone who has experienced the same frustration with SA would also be great.


This is the most important thing if your SA is severe . The other things you mentioned are a luxury to be honest .


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## TryingMara (Mar 25, 2012)

I don't tell myself I will meet someone, but there is always that hope deep down that it'll happen. In terms of the intense relationship and spending all that time together- that's something that has been getting to me lately. The desire to have someone to share my time and new experiences with is very strong. I know people still need their space, but it would be incredible to have someone at my side, like a best friend but more. I am trying to focus on other parts of my life, because I have obsessed about this so much up until this point, which hasn't helped. Like I said though, the hope is always there.


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## Notgoingout (Mar 19, 2015)

AnetaBenkston said:


> This is the most important thing if your SA is severe . The other things you mentioned are a luxury to be honest .


 It was severe, not so much now, I've made good progress. I couldn't fall for a girl who wasn't nice anyway! I'm not that shallow that I go just for 'hot' girls. I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic so if she's nice and romantic that would be great. How about you if you don't mind me asking? What do you look for in terms of something that's a priority for you?


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## Notgoingout (Mar 19, 2015)

TryingMara said:


> I don't tell myself I will meet someone, but there is always that hope deep down that it'll happen. In terms of the intense relationship and spending all that time together- that's something that has been getting to me lately. The desire to have someone to share my time and new experiences with is very strong. I know people still need their space, but it would be incredible to have someone at my side, like a best friend but more. I am trying to focus on other parts of my life, because I have obsessed about this so much up until this point, which hasn't helped. Like I said though, the hope is always there.


 THIS! You have to find someone compatible. But having waited quite a long time and not given in prior to SA, waiting and being alone makes me hope the girl I find (if I find her) has experienced that and would want to savour being with the person they fall in love with! I mean i'd want to go off and play football but other than that... spend almost all my time with her! Unless she's awesome at football (soccer) as well!! Then I truly could spend almost all my time with her!


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## TryingMara (Mar 25, 2012)

HHgot232 said:


> THIS! You have to find someone compatible. But having waited quite a long time and not given in prior to SA, waiting and being alone makes me hope the girl I find (if I find her) has experienced that and would want to savour being with the person they fall in love with! I mean i'd want to go off and play football but other than that... spend almost all my time with her! Unless she's awesome at football (soccer) as well!! Then I truly could spend almost all my time with her!


That's a good way to put it. I would love for that special someone to have been where I've been and then savour us being together. Finding someone compatible is the hard part, but that's something that everyone faces, SA or not. And it certainly happens and has happened to people right here on SAS. It's good to remind ourselves of that. We just have to put ourselves out there, which is the most difficult part, imo.


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## Notgoingout (Mar 19, 2015)

TryingMara said:


> That's a good way to put it. I would love for that special someone to have been where I've been and then savour us being together. Finding someone compatible is the hard part, but that's something that everyone faces, SA or not. And it certainly happens and has happened to people right here on SAS. It's good to remind ourselves of that. We just have to put ourselves out there, which is the most difficult part, imo.


I agree with you. Finding someone is hard but plenty of people have, and so I just have to think, why not me? And hopefully one day I'll get lucky!


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## AnetaBenkston (Feb 14, 2015)

HHgot232 said:


> Just a girl that's kind, romantic, wants an intense relationship, (in terms of spending time together) is funny, empathetic and someone with a lot of love to give.


I'm not saying that you should go for only 'hot' girls,am saying that you basically described a perfect woman right there .I would like a man to not expect me to be perfect as i too wouldn't expect that from him . You either love someone with all their flaws or you don't .


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## Notgoingout (Mar 19, 2015)

AnetaBenkston said:


> I'm not saying that you should go for only 'hot' girls,am saying that you basically described a perfect woman right there .I would like a man to not expect me to be perfect as i too wouldn't expect that from him . You either love someone with all their flaws or you don't .


I would love someone's flaws!!! Anything someone cannot help about themselves I would love. But if someone was unkind... basically cruel then no, I couldn't be with them. If she was less romantic then fine, if she wasn't as intense I could also deal with that and work on myself. I'm coming in with flaws and would want to have mine overlooked or at least not matter, so I know what you mean.. But really I want a nice girl, perhaps who's had SA and knows those difficulties. Perhaps I didn't word my initial post very well. I don't have an expectation of a perfect girl. Far, far from it. I doubt there are many who think they'll get a perfect partner anyway. I was just describing characteristics that appeal. 
And there are enough shallow guys who will look at you and be blind to any faults you may have, you'll have plenty thinking you're perfect on looks alone! So I don't think you have to worry a great deal, men are pretty visual and even with SA i'm sure you'll get an amazing guy. I've got more to worry about because I have less to offer (certainly in the face department!!)
(and that's not me being negative that's just bit of British Self-deprecation)


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