# My son needs help!



## kayca (Oct 17, 2007)

My college son is suffering tremendously from social anxiety. Since he started college it has gotten progressively worse. He is on 50 mg Zoloft and is talking to a counselor. I'm not sure if he's getting better at all. I researched online and found the SAI with Dr. Richards. Has anyone tried those tapes and what do you think of them. They are expensive but we are desperate to get him help.


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## Moon (Oct 9, 2007)

I'm sorry to hear about your son. My name is Kelly, I am 23 and also a college student, I too have been getting worse over the past few years. I have never heard of those tapes but hopefully someone on this board has and they could help you out. Does your son know what he wants to do with his life, like is he in a certain major at school? I am just in general studies because I am so lost on what to do with my life. I really wish I could help you more. Good luck and take care.


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## kayca (Oct 17, 2007)

Kelly, I am so sorry that you are going through this. BUT I have hope and faith that both you and my son can learn to deal with these issues and live happy, productive lives. Right now he is in advertising but he's really struggling to keep up in his studies. He's depressed and is at a really low point.
Have you had any career counseling? My colleges offer this as a free service. I'm sure you'll be great at whatever you choose.
I have had some feedback on the Dr. Richards tapes and hear they have been helpful to others. We are considering purchasing them. Maybe you should check out the website. Here's the address: http://www.socialanxietyinstitut.org
My best wishes to you and your health!


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

get your son prescribed benzodiazepenes such as klonopin or xanax. He will thank you.


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

^Yes.


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## kayca (Oct 17, 2007)

The doc put him on Zoloft. No good?


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Work on his depression before his social anxiety. I experience social anxiety (improving), but without depression, it's at least tolerable in most instances. 

Improving takes a long time though. Do you know what sort of therapy he's receiving in addition to Zoloft, and whether he is open and receptive to therapy?


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## kayca (Oct 17, 2007)

Yes he's open to therapy and is meeting with a counselor and has seen a Psychiatrist that we trust. I'm not sure what they ar doing. He had him put himself into some situations that he was uncomfortable with and he's done that it really cause so much anxiety that he was physically ill.


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## Moon (Oct 9, 2007)

Thank you so much for the encouraging words Kayca, I have hope for your son and I too, I also am suffering from depression, it is such a hard time in my life. I was put on Zoloft also but I haven't seen any improvement yet. If you do decide to purchase thoses tapes please write into the boards and let us know how they work. I will check out that web site for sure so thank you. That is good that your son is in a major, maybe he could go to school part time next semester so he isn't too overwhelmed, that is what I do. I have never had career counseling, that is a good idea. I have so many problems though so I don't know what kind of job would be right for me. I have social anxiety, regular anxiety, depression and I also have chronic back pain because I had to have surgery on my back in 1999 to correct scoliosis and I also have learning disabilities. There is a lot of jobs I would love to do if I was a normal person but since I struggle with so many problems it is so hard to pick a caeer. Thanks again and take care.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

kayca said:


> Yes he's open to therapy and is meeting with a counselor and has seen a Psychiatrist that we trust. I'm not sure what they ar doing. He had him put himself into some situations that he was uncomfortable with and he's done that it really cause so much anxiety that he was physically ill.


It sounds like they're at least using exposure therapy, but probably within cognitive behavioral therapy. If so, he's probably been asked to keep a journal to record his thoughts/feelings in social situations. In addition, he would be making predictions for what he fears will happen in the social situations that he finds challenging. Comparing the fears to the reality of the situation can help ease anxiety in the long run as we begin to see that the things we do to protect ourselves (avoid situations, avoid eye contact, don't speak, fold arms, slouch, etc) aren't necessary or helpful since we're overestimating the risks of social situations in the first place.

The exercises should be difficult to be effective, as this forces us to see what makes us afraid face-to-face. He is very courageous for following through with his therapy, and it wouldn't hurt to remind him how brave he is (unless you think this would be interpreted in a bad way) to take on his fears despite the anxiety.

I wish you the best, and please keep posting any questions or concerns you have regarding social anxiety here! In addition, he might benefit by visiting this forum himself. Just a thought.


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## kayca (Oct 17, 2007)

Veteran, thanks for giving me more of an idea of CBT. I've read about what it is but nothing about how it is done. His father and I are both very encouraging to him and are very proud of his bravery and have told him so.
I've told him about this forum but he says he's not interested now. But who knows, he could be reading and posting but we don't know. 
Thanks to all for your help.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Any time, kayca.


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## kayca (Oct 17, 2007)

Kelly, Thanks for your kind words, too. I am hoping and praying things get better for you soon. You sound like a very sweet person and am glad you are looking to make things better in your life. My best to you.


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## Formerly Artie (Jun 26, 2007)

Noca said:


> get your son prescribed benzodiazepenes such as klonopin or xanax. He will thank you.





FairleighCalm said:


> ^Yes.


I second that. The chances of getting a MAOI are slim and difficult nowadays. Benzos are the next-best choice. The unfortunate thing about benzos though, is that they're not really for long-term use. If they were, then I probably wouldn't even be a member of this forum, which is not to say that this forum doesn't offer other things besides SA discussions.

I don't put much value in tape/exposure therapy or CBT at all, but I don't discount it entirely, since it does seem work for certain people that are much more responsive to that kind of therapy. But if you say that your son is "suffering tremendously from social anxiety", then it becomes a no-brainer as to what to take for it. Too bad the pharmacology industry doesn't quite see things the same way, at least not yet anyway.

Good luck to you and your son, whether he decides to stick with the therapy or switch over to a medication. I can definitely imagine how he must be feeling right now.


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## kayca (Oct 17, 2007)

He is on Zoloft. He's in counseling but I'm not sure what goes on there. 
Why don't you put much faith in CBT? Did it not work for you? Any info you have I'd appreciate.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Unfortunately, no single method works with identically impressive results from person to person. Quite a lot of people find CBT to be effective (it's _extremely_ well researched compared to many alternative therapies and drugs), while others won't find the same success. CBT also requires a lot of effort and dedication, and depending on someone's current state of mind, it may be difficult to be consistent with the CBT methods (which is essential, otherwise people might be discouraged by lack of improvement and blame CBT prematurely).

Likewise, some people may respond well to drugs, while others end up hopping from drug to drug to drug to drug without getting any benefit besides some mild/placebo effect and negative side effects.

Sometimes you'll find that people will try drugs in addition to therapy. Some people claim this is the best way to go. Again, some. Overall, it can take some experimentation to find out what works best for any particular individual.

For me personally, I've looked for non-drug methods as a first line of defense. I'm simply not very impressed by the drug line-up for social anxiety, so I've looked for CBT methods and mindfulness.

I'm not the type of person who puts down people who try other methods though. As I mentioned earlier, different tools work differently in different hands. We all have an interest in improving our lives, and it's helpful to hear about many different potential strategies to take.


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## Moon (Oct 9, 2007)

ardrum, I would love to hear more about your non-drug methods. I was put on medication (Zoloft then Lexapro) and I did not like either of them. I would really love not to take medication. If you don't want to write about it in here, here is my e-mail [email protected]. Thanks so much!
kayca, sorry to jump in on your post. How is your son doing? I hope ok. You should tell him to just come on this web site even if he doesn't want to post he can still read all of the messages. Just knowing that I am not alone when it comes to suffering from SA really helps me.


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