# I wish I could stop celebrating Christmas



## gisellemarx

It is literally THE MOST stressful time of year for me, financially and socially. It's a Christian holiday, technically I guess. I know it's become something else entirely, but I hate that the entire idea is to buy people things in exchange for those people also buying you things. It's so dumb. Why not just save your money? I am poor and cannot afford to get presents for each and every extended family member I have.

And then the familial commitments. There are ALWAYS issues because both sides of the family want to celebrate on the same day, and my brother and I are dragged into this whole, "Well, if they don't want to be here, they don't value this family," and general hostility crops up a lot. I try to alternate each year but I'm being guilted from both sides all the time.

I hate Christmas. I hate it. And I hate that it's become a staple in our culture, and it's almost like depriving your kids if you don't celebrate Christmas...like they're seeing their friends and classmates get all these awesome presents and it's like...why don't I get that?

It's a f**king trap. I hate capitalism.


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## ugh1979

Yeah I stopped doing Xmas about 17 years ago. Likewise it's my least favourite time of year. I dislike the commercial/capitalist, religious and social sides of it, along with all the tacky decorations and lame traditions. Fair enough plenty secular people just ignore any religious element these days, but that still leaves the rest of it.

I'm very much a non-traditionalist, and refuse to be pressured into conforming to such events and all that comes with it.


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## Cyclonic

Christmas is an interesting holiday, especially how it has transformed over several millennia. I read something interesting today explaining some of it: http://www.simpletoremember.com/vitals/Christmas_TheRealStory.htm (looks like a pro-Judaism site, but the writer did some research and most of the info is cited from other sources)

From pagan festival to Christian holiday to corporate America season

For me, Christmas is good for time off...that's about it.


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## CloudChaser

Reading this reminds me how lucky I am to have only 7 people in my entire family. I don't think I could cope if I had aunts and uncles and cousins to deal with on top of everything else. I think it makes buying people presents a lot better too because you buy a couple of things for people who are important to you rather than a lot of things for people you kind of dont care about.


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## WillYouStopDave

Christmas can be an awesome holiday if you have a family that enjoys it. You don't have to spend a ton of money or buy expensive gifts for everyone you know. You only have to buy someone a gift you know will be meaningful to them. And even then, most people do not really expect gifts from people if they know they can't afford it.

My parents don't believe in celebrating it (Seventh Day Adventists) so even trying to discuss it with them or turn it into a time that was more about family has always been pointless. My family was never even the type of family that had dinner together at a table so we really just never had any designated time together. I'm a loner by nature but that sucked.

My advice would be to not make it about religion if you don't have to or want to. Make it about anything you want but use the opportunity to have some time with people you care about if they'll let you.


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## ugh1979

WillYouStopDave said:


> Christmas can be an awesome holiday if you have a family that enjoys it. You don't have to spend a ton of money or buy expensive gifts for everyone you know. You only have to buy someone a gift you know will be meaningful to them. And even then, most people do not really expect gifts from people if they know they can't afford it.
> 
> My parents don't believe in celebrating it (Seventh Day Adventists) so even trying to discuss it with them or turn it into a time that was more about family has always been pointless. My family was never even the type of family that had dinner together at a table so we really just never had any designated time together. I'm a loner by nature but that sucked.
> 
> My advice would be to not make it about religion if you don't have to or want to. Make it about anything you want but use the opportunity to have some time with people you care about if they'll let you.


Anyone who has people they care about shouldn't need to use Xmas as a time to see them, unless there is some logistical reason.

I have no problem seeing the people I care about all year round and also shunning all the crap that Xmas entails and pushes on people.


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## WillYouStopDave

ugh1979 said:


> Anyone who has people they care about shouldn't need to use Xmas as a time to see them, unless there is some logistical reason.
> 
> I have no problem seeing the people I care about all year round and also shunning all the crap that Xmas entails and pushes on people.


 Well, the simple fact is that for many people, it just works. It's easier than building an event out of scratch and trying to convince everyone to attend just because.


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## ugh1979

WillYouStopDave said:


> Well, the simple fact is that for many people, it just works. It's easier than building an event out of scratch and trying to convince everyone to attend just because.


Actually in many families there are a lot of issues that stem from just about everybody wanting to do the same thing on the same day. e.g. which spouses families Xmas dinner should they go to etc.

I personally find it far easier to arrange social gatherings with everyone I want there at any other time of year.


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## Torkani

Christmas:
+ Food
+ The occassional present/money

- Loneliness
- Entitlement
- TV
- Capitalism (commercialism)
- Envy

On whole, 3/10...


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## Hylar

Personally I enjoy Christmas, but I understand what you're saying.
I think it's a time when the values we promote in society today are often highlighted: Greed and selfishness.


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## gisellemarx

WillYouStopDave said:


> Christmas can be an awesome holiday if you have a family that enjoys it. You don't have to spend a ton of money or buy expensive gifts for everyone you know. You only have to buy someone a gift you know will be meaningful to them. And even then, most people do not really expect gifts from people if they know they can't afford it.
> 
> My parents don't believe in celebrating it (Seventh Day Adventists) so even trying to discuss it with them or turn it into a time that was more about family has always been pointless. My family was never even the type of family that had dinner together at a table so we really just never had any designated time together. I'm a loner by nature but that sucked.
> 
> My advice would be to not make it about religion if you don't have to or want to. Make it about anything you want but use the opportunity to have some time with people you care about if they'll let you.


That's not really the point, I still don't have enough money to be buying even my close family members presents, and they don't have enough money either. The extended family, however, doesn't understand their privileged positions and expect nice gift because they just don't get what being poor is like. It's never been about religion, we've always kind of made it about "time with family" but it's completely pointless, Christmas shouldn't be shoved down my throat just because my family doesn't know any other way to stay connected and spend time with each other.


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## saya2077

I make half my family home made things. Its cheap, means more and fun for me. I spent £9-10 max in total on my mam and two sisters last year just making two bags from old clothing material personalised with felt names and flowers, and a skirt from a pillow case. 
The rest of my family's things were from charity shops. Christmas doesnt mean "all brand new things or else". I found things they'd like and that's all that matters.


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## a degree of freedom

It stresses me out too. I can buy people simple presents, but I don't know anyone well enough to feel good about a gift idea. Nothing gives me anxiety and makes me feel like **** quite like giving and receiving gifts at Christmas, and yet I wouldn't dare miss it because it's so important to family. The benefit to it is only that over the years it will keep me from becoming complacent and letting time slip by too quickly as I grow old because of the annual torture which will always put the brakes on that and keep me painfully self-aware. For that reason I'm actually grateful. There's something pleasant in the suffering ritual. Still, I usually end up lying my way out of at least one or two get togethers because there's no real point to going to a get together if I'm so emotionally shut down as to be basically vegetative and unable to process what's going on around me much less respond.


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## dune87

I wish I could start celebrating Christmas.


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## GreyWorld

I can't afford any gifts for anyone this year, and I dread it. I never went overboard buying crap for everyone I know, but I do like to get a little something for my best friends, and I won't even be able to do that. It's doubtful I'll even have a home to live in next month. How can I enjoy the holidays when I can't even enjoy life? Holidays are for happy people. For us depressed people, holidays are just more stress, more sadness, and an increased desire to stay home and do nothing until the publicly-ordained insanity goes away.


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## gisellemarx

GreyWorld said:


> I can't afford any gifts for anyone this year, and I dread it. I never went overboard buying crap for everyone I know, but I do like to get a little something for my best friends, and I won't even be able to do that. It's doubtful I'll even have a home to live in next month. How can I enjoy the holidays when I can't even enjoy life? Holidays are for happy people. For us depressed people, holidays are just more stress, more sadness, and an increased desire to stay home and do nothing until the publicly-ordained insanity goes away.


Yeah....I feel like you get what I'm saying. You're absolutely right, holidays are for happy people. Happy, financially stable people. :/


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## GreyWorld

Ever notice how it's always THOSE people telling us that money doesn't buy happiness? So why does having money make ME feel happy, especially around the holidays? I hate that everyone else will be able to exchange gifts, and I won't have anything to give. It's just like being at school and being left out of stuff because you're different.


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## Jermster91

I actually like it. Act like I am a Christian when I am with my moms family and come Christmas Morning, I get gifts!


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## Haunty

I like xmas, I just ignore the gift part as much as I can. I only give gifts to my immediate family, 3 or 4 gifts tops. I don't give to extended family members even though some of them get me something every year.


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## gisellemarx

I feel like anybody who likes the gift thing probably isn't incredibly poor like I am.

And I'm not creative enough to make gifts for people. I've tried it, it was a disaster. As an adult, people expect me to spend money on gifts. For a lot of people. Not that it's completely expected, but these people get gifts for me and I'm left feeling guilty that I couldn't do the same.

I hate it. Maybe when I have money I won't mind as much.


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## Methodical

gisellemarx said:


> It is literally THE MOST stressful time of year for me, financially and socially. It's a Christian holiday, technically I guess. I know it's become something else entirely, but I hate that the entire idea is to buy people things in exchange for those people also buying you things. It's so dumb. Why not just save your money? I am poor and cannot afford to get presents for each and every extended family member I have.


The most irritating thing about the holiday is when a random person (could be a family member or a friend) buys you a gift when they previously have never done so, and you feel like an ******* for not returning the favor. Yes, buying gifts you can barely afford for people that barely like you is a stupid tradition. I stopped doing it years ago.



> And then the familial commitments. There are ALWAYS issues because both sides of the family want to celebrate on the same day, and my brother and I are dragged into this whole, "Well, if they don't want to be here, they don't value this family," and general hostility crops up a lot. I try to alternate each year but I'm being guilted from both sides all the time.


It was easy for my family because both of my parent's families lived in the same city. My parents would get into long arguments because we'd start the day with 8 o'clock mass with my mom's side and spend the rest of the day at my grandfather's house. My dad's side of the family would get, like 30 minutes at the end of the day (lol). It's funny to think about now but yes, my parents would argue in the car about this and it became a Christmas tradition.

When you get older, your family will disappear and the gatherings will get smaller. Our last "big" family Christmas was seven years ago and I can remember sensing through everyone's behavior that yes, this would be the last time I'd see all of my family members together in the same house. The funerals are the last thing to bring family together and remind us what family used to be. I do miss those big family gatherings on Christmas Eve with my cousins. I still love reading _A Christmas Carol_ by Dickens each season because my grandmother would read it to us in weekly sections, and she'd finish the story on Christmas day while serving us piping hot chocolate and marshmallow topping.



> I hate Christmas. I hate it. And I hate that it's become a staple in our culture, and it's almost like depriving your kids if you don't celebrate Christmas...like they're seeing their friends and classmates get all these awesome presents and it's like...why don't I get that?


Yes, the overwhelming pressure to participate and consume during Christmas doesn't dissipate if you decide to have children. Some parents insist you're depriving children of a wonderful experience by not celebrating Christmas, when it's nothing more than a spectacle to stimulate a dormant economy.



> I hate capitalism.


Good. More people should.


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## drjohnsn

ugh1979 said:


> Yeah I stopped doing Xmas about 17 years ago. Likewise it's my least favourite time of year. I dislike the commercial/capitalist, religious and social sides of it, along with all the tacky decorations and lame traditions. Fair enough plenty secular people just ignore any religious element these days, but that still leaves the rest of it.
> 
> I'm very much a non-traditionalist, and refuse to be pressured into conforming to such events and all that comes with it.


Amen.


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## nubly

I love Christmas and yea it's a horrible thing to deprive your kids of the spirit of Christmas. If money is an issue, speak up. People do understand that there are money constraints.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Noca

I don't mind the holiday, I just HATE Christmas music, tv and movies. So sick of them.


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## drjohnsn

Noca said:


> I don't mind the holiday, I just HATE Christmas music, tv and movies. So sick of them.


The insane decorations too. I've taken to grabbing a ratty little holly tree, about 2 feet tall, and having my version of a Charlie Brown Christmas. I think that's more honest and festive than the thousand dollars these other tools are blowing to compete with imaginary neighbors.


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## livetolovetolive

Christmas is my favourite time of the year. It reminds me of the best memories from childhood. Everyone I love gathers together for days on end with nothing specific to do but enjoy each others' company. It really is the best time of the year for me.


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## nihilistquestion

Christmas is fun, sometimes but boring ok


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## GreyWorld

I actually like a few aspects of Christmas. It reminds me of my mother, because she made decorations every year and gave out homemade gifts such as quilts and ornaments. When I was a kid, we made holiday decorations every year and it was fun. So I like that aspect of it. I love vintage decorations, those old-fashioned glass ornaments that were hand-blown and painted. I loved buying them in antique shops (when I had money). I liked knowing that some family enjoyed them for many years.



> I don't mind the holiday, I just HATE Christmas music, tv and movies. So sick of them.


Most Christmas music really is awful, isn't it? And what makes it worse is that we will hear it EVERYWHERE. There won't be a single store or restaurant not playing it. It wouldn't be so bad if they'd mix it with regular music, but they insist on having nothing but Christmas songs. When I worked at Home Depot, I learned to hate Bing Crosby because they played so many of his songs.


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## andy1984

not a big xmas fan. just cos of the forced family gathering + anxiety. but i'm an adult now so i can do what i want. lol.


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## TNick

I don't mind Christmas, but I hate the obligatory family occasions (a 3day long very large family gathering). Also, I dislike being guilt-tripped into attending church (really religious family who only asks that I go to church on christmas with them..


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## Noca

TNick said:


> I don't mind Christmas, but I hate the obligatory family occasions (a 3day long very large family gathering). Also, I dislike being guilt-tripped into attending church (really religious family who only asks that I go to church on christmas with them..


Yeah, I just couldn't stand to keep going to those new years eve church services either. I really don't care lol. It was at the point where my parents already knew that their guilt tripping or proselytizing would no longer work on me anyway, so it was no problem.

I don't like large family gatherings either, but I mean I already spend most of my time alone, so I don't mind talking to some of my cousins or my brother on this rare occassion.


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## SplendidBob

ugh1979 said:


> Yeah I stopped doing Xmas about 17 years ago. Likewise it's my least favourite time of year. I dislike the commercial/capitalist, religious and social sides of it, along with all the tacky decorations and lame traditions. Fair enough plenty secular people just ignore any religious element these days, but that still leaves the rest of it.
> 
> I'm very much a non-traditionalist, and refuse to be pressured into conforming to such events and all that comes with it.


My thoughts precisely


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## longtimenolove

My family uses Christmas as an excuse to get dramatic and start family arguments and isolate people by making them choose sides. It's horrid.


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## Viperae

I know the feeling, I don't mind the holiday, but I don't have money and I feel guilty when someone gets something for me and I have nothing for them. I wish it was called something else though, the Christmas most westerners celebrate has nothing to do with Jesus Christ.


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## kageri

Christmas is not bad. It's just boring. There aren't many family members I want to see. I gave up caring what my family wants or thinks and I just go to the best place. If they want me to go to their event then they can treat me better and make it more desirable so I want to go. If they guilt trip me then I don't go until they get over themselves and feel like being more positive. My husband is close to his family who live within 45mins of us so we usually go there but the food is bad, there is no one I want to talk to, and it drags on forever. Presents do happen but they've been getting less and less personal or impressive. My mom's family I don't want to see except my sister. My dad's family is scattered across most of the country. Although I do think we are doing something in my state for christmas this year but most of the people I want to see like my half sister and father won't be there.

Christmas is a day for scattered families to all plan to be in one place at one time that you would not achieve by any random planned event. For some people it can be very useful and important. For most not so much.


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## minimized

In my mind, it's pretty emblematic of the Christian religion.

Anyway, I hate every aspect of the holiday. Commercialism, gift-giving, religious undertones... it's bad enough as it is, let alone when you've got SA.

My mom is Christian and still hates it.


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## Nostalgia14

As far as I am aware, the majority of people "celebrate Christmas" because it is all they know; there parents did it, so they do it. When probed about why they are partaking in the exchange if gifts etc, you probably won't get much of a response, maybe a "to celebrate the birth of Jesus" line, or something similar. 

According to Luke's Gospel, Jesus was actually not born in December, but around September. so the idea that Christians celebrate his birth on 25th of December is a falsehood. However, me personally, I don't enjoy the Christmas period particularly, as an adult. As a child I did, but what kid wouldn't? If anything, I only go through the motions once a year for my kids' sake and the wife, and like to think of it as a reason to get together with family, rather than the celebration of Jesus' birth, which is of course is a falsehood. 

Also, The Winter Solstice and the ancient pagan Roman midwinter festivals called "Saturnalia" and "Dies Natalis Solis Invicti" were celebrated in December around this date, so it was a time when people were already celebrating things.


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## caveman8

GreyWorld said:


> Most Christmas music really is awful, isn't it? And what makes it worse is that we will hear it EVERYWHERE. There won't be a single store or restaurant not playing it. It wouldn't be so bad if they'd mix it with regular music, but they insist on having nothing but Christmas songs. When I worked at Home Depot, I learned to hate Bing Crosby because they played so many of his songs.


Regular music - like that horrid stuff they play the rest of the year? I can't stand a certain station that plays like top 40-adult stuff, but tune in when they switch over to Christmas music. The only reason to listen to music on the radio for me. Adds to the atmosphere of the season.


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