# Beleive me this is how you overcome sa!



## paulyD (Feb 16, 2011)

*CHANGE THE MAP*

your unconious mind triggers anxiety in you when you are in social situations because it percieves social situations as a threat. this is due to certain memories and beleifs tat you hold at an unconcious level which were usually formed during childhood.
this perception is often refered to as YOUR MAP OF THE WORLD or AN INTERNAL REPRESENTATION OF REALITY. its your repesentation of reality not reality itself. its the meaning that you are giving to the event. most people perceived social situations as fun and pleasurable and dont experience anxiety. they have a different internal represenation than you

the first thing you must do to overcome SA is CHANGE THE MAP. this is essential because you can face your fears all you want, you can tell yourself positive things all you want but it will never work because your unconcious mind will trigger anxiety in you in order to protect you from the threat it percieves. you might coniously want to change but unconciously you will want to protect yourself. to change the map you do this:

*go and see an nlp practionaire or alternatively used the following nlp techniques yourself at home using cds - timeline therapy, fast phobia cure, parts integration
*use the batch remedies. read the batch remedie book and pick out 7 remedies that are designed for anxiety

*CHANGE STATE*

practice getting yourself into a confident state become an expert at it

1)pattern interupt. whenever you feel anxious immediately interupt this pattern. pinch yourself, listen to dance music, sing, dance, anything to interupt the pattern

2)change pysiology. breath deeply, relax body, move around, stand in a confrident stance

3)change focus. change your internal mental images and words e.g if you say ''nobody likes me'' change that to something positive like '' so what who cares''.
focus on the people around you and the things around you instead of focusing on yourself internally because this will decrease self conciousness which is at the root of social anxiety

4)fire an anchor. practice anchoring. remember a time when you was confident then step inside that time into your own body and feel the feelings of confidence. then squeeze your thumb and finger together to anchor that feeling

you should be able to fire off that anchor by squeezing your thumb and finger together

*FACE YOUR FEARS USING A HIERARCHY*

read gillian butlers book overcoming social anxiety and shyness. follow the step by step plan in that book for facing your fears e.g:

*changing thinking patterns 
*doing things differently
*reducing self conciousness
*building confidence

this is how to face your fears:

*apply the proactive formula S.T.P (stop think proact)

*Stop - stop your reactive response. if you always react to social anxiety by escaping the situation just STOP

*Think - think to yourself ''the enemy is not the other person or the situation. the real enemy is my reactive response. what i must not do is react''

*Proactive - face the fear instead of running away from it

*ADDITIONAL TOOLS*

*goal setting - set specific goals of what you want to achieve in regards to overcoming yuor SA. go public with your goals so that you follow through

*helping relationships - get support from as many people as you can - friends, family, work colleagues, counselling, support group etc.... . make yourself accountable to people for facing your fears

*reward - every time you face a fear reward yourself

*enviroment control - you are the company you keep. surround yourself with sociable and confident people. maybe consider moving to a really sociable and lively place in order to overcome your SA - somewhere abroad maybe a holiday destination

*self help products - every day listen to thinkrightnows conquering social anxiety cd. also every day use the following nlp techniques :

*anchoring
*modelling 
*mental rehaearsal
*self imagine vizualization


----------



## tobi08 (Dec 29, 2008)

i like your plan and im glad its working for you.
However i dont like it that you say that everything is pointless unless you change the map with a nlp practioner. Ive been to a nlp practioner and it didnt help i only felt better at that day. Ive tried to do timeline therapy with the cd set from changethatrightnow but found it to hard to do the visualisation, and actually i didnt find it would cure the past experiences. It just make me believe its cured, like a placebo but i found this trauma was only temporary cured.
I believe to have any success with timeline therapy you must do it a ridiculus amounts of times for all your past traumas in this live AND in previous lives. 
someone who is in therapy might get discouraged from your post because you are saying that its all pointless without doing the inner work.
Honestly though i agree with you, because our problems are rooted in past bad experiences. But i have tried to heal my past wounds multiple times with technqiues such as EFT, Greene Release, Mace Energy, without much success so far and im trying it for 4 years now... its getting frustrating. But i dont give up, because i know i will feel so much better once im healed of some past negative experiences.


----------



## paulyD (Feb 16, 2011)

tobi08 said:


> i like your plan and im glad its working for you.
> However i dont like it that you say that everything is pointless unless you change the map with a nlp practioner. Ive been to a nlp practioner and it didnt help i only felt better at that day. Ive tried to do timeline therapy with the cd set from changethatrightnow but found it to hard to do the visualisation, and actually i didnt find it would cure the past experiences. It just make me believe its cured, like a placebo but i found this trauma was only temporary cured.
> I believe to have any success with timeline therapy you must do it a ridiculus amounts of times for all your past traumas in this live AND in previous lives.
> someone who is in therapy might get discouraged from your post because you are saying that its all pointless without doing the inner work.
> Honestly though i agree with you, because our problems are rooted in past bad experiences. But i have tried to heal my past wounds multiple times with technqiues such as EFT, Greene Release, Mace Energy, without much success so far and im trying it for 4 years now... its getting frustrating. But i dont give up, because i know i will feel so much better once im healed of some past negative experiences.


I do beleive that it is pointless to try and overcome your SA until you have alligned your unconcious mind with your concious mind.

in other words your concious mind and unconcious mind must both want the same thing. if they are in conflct with each other then change will be impossible. 
if you conciously want to change and overcome your social anxiety and get involved with other people but at an uncocious level you percieve people and socializing as threats then you will NEVER change

I beleive that the best way to allign your concious mind with your unconcious mind is through NLP (timeline therapy, fast phobia cure, parts integration) but obviously if you are saying that those things are not really working for you then you need to find another way to align your unconcious mind with your concious mind

the nlp techniques that i mentioned are very good but they are not absolutely essential. KNOWLEDGE alone can sometimes be enough to align the unconcious and concious mind.

for example I had a procrastination problem. procrastination is a classic example of the concious mind and uncocnious mind being in conflict with each other. conciously you want to get things done but your unconcious mind triggers feelings of laziness inside of you to prevent you from getting things done. Just by reading a book and undersatnding my procrastination my unconcious mind aligned itself with my concious mind. by reading a book I realized that the reason that i procrastinated was because :

*i thought that if i wanted to get things done i would have to give up my leisure time
*i was setting perfectionist standars for myself 
*i feared failure. i was making the consequences for failing catastrophic

just by simply reading a book and understanding that 1)i could get things done and still have leisure time by doing only 30 mins of work per day 2) i didnt have to be perfect i just had to focus on progress 3) failing was not the end of the world cos i could just try again and i had a plan B - my unconcious mind aligned itself with my concious mind. they both wanted the same things - to get things done

from then on my unconious mind triggered feelings of motivation inside of me instead of feelings of laziness. its the same with social anxiety. if you allign the unconcious with the consious then the unconcious will trigger feelings of confidence inside you instead of feelings of anxiety.


----------



## tobi08 (Dec 29, 2008)

hi paulyD
ok so you suggest that i go to CBT straight ahead? 
I dont allow myself to make mistakes in social situations, i must be perfect or else i will not be loved, if one rejects me = everyone rejects me etc... its really black and white in my world.
So by reading a book on social anxiety where it says allow yourself to make mistakes etc. you think i can overcome social anxiety?
I might give that a try even though the process seems to be very slow...


----------



## paulyD (Feb 16, 2011)

tobi08 said:


> hi paulyD
> ok so you suggest that i go to CBT straight ahead?
> I dont allow myself to make mistakes in social situations, i must be perfect or else i will not be loved, if one rejects me = everyone rejects me etc... its really black and white in my world.
> So by reading a book on social anxiety where it says allow yourself to make mistakes etc. you think i can overcome social anxiety?
> I might give that a try even though the process seems to be very slow...


reading a book is not going to overcome your social anxiety. but the knowledge can help to resolve an inner conflict between unconcious and concious

if you say the parts integration, fast phobia cure and timeline therapy isnt working for you then i would definatelly suggest listening to a hynosis cd or thinkrightnow cd dailly cos at least then you are doing something that is directly targetting the uncocnious mind

definately use the cbt


----------



## sprinter (Nov 22, 2003)

> I do beleive that it is pointless to try and overcome your SA until you have alligned your unconcious mind with your concious mind.
> 
> in other words your concious mind and unconcious mind must both want the same thing. if they are in conflct with each other then change will be impossible.
> if you conciously want to change and overcome your social anxiety and get involved with other people but at an uncocious level you percieve people and socializing as threats then you will NEVER change


I found that to be so true. Utilizing any and all methods that help toward that goal is the best way to overcome SAD. NLP,Thinkrightnow, Schema, inner child therapy whatever works to make peace with and get you and your subconscious mind on the same page working together toward the common goal of eliminating the unnecessary anxiety.

In addition to buying several thinkrightnow cds I actually made my own thinkrightnow recordings using my own personal affirmations that address any and all factors that did or may have contributed to my SAD. I found just the process alone of thinking and remembering anything that may have contributed to my SAD and coming up with an affirmation for it very helpful by itself. You need to learn how to write affirmations first, apparently the subconscious mind doesn't understand past or future only the present and doesn't understand certain words like "don't". All affirmations should be positive.etc.


----------

