# Great :( now i have an unofficial therapist at work



## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

Unlike working in a shop as a clerk or something, working in a lab where you gotta deal with people's bodies all day requires a certain level of confidence that I don't have yet ( would you like to have a nervous doctor ? ... of course not).

A co-worker has decided that he is going to help me overcome the "stigma in my mind". You know the whole ....

"you are a very intelligent boy, you should not be nervous at work, you need to tell yourself to be confident and that you can do it, and I am going to help you."
"Do not compare yourself to the others in the lab, and wonder why they are not clumsy, everyone has their problems in life - this is yours, but I can help you overcome it."

The man has good intentions. He said he has worked with young people before. 
Although, our _sessions_ (if you want to call it that) are not exactly private. 
Often times, other people at work are walking by while he is going me his prep talk.

But hey I've already embarrassed myself often enough already ... so who cares if they see, right ?

yay ?


----------



## Madison_Rose (Feb 27, 2009)

Aaargh! Ok, it's nice that he wants to help, but giving you unrequested therapy sessions in view of your colleagues is really not on. A good therapist will listen to you, let you take the lead instead of charging in and telling you what to do, and, oh, I don't know, _respect your privacy!_

If you want to continue with your "sessions" (and frankly, in your position, I wouldn't) then tell him that you're really grateful, but it needs to be private and outside the workplace, and he needs to be professional about it and maintain patient confidentiality. It's not a lot to ask - you can't open up to somebody who might blab your secrets to your colleagues.

If it was me, I think I'd say to him "it's really nice that you want to help, but I don't think this kind of help is appropriate for me right now, and it's not at all appropriate in the workplace."


----------



## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

/\ yeah well, i don't think subtle is in this guy's dictionary.

Besides if I told him, I would rather he talk to me when other people aren't around, he would say : "*that's just your problem*"

I don't live in the USA or one of those other more 'enlightened' countries where people with therapists are* not* treated as weak-lings ... so these little pep-talk sessions might be my best shot.

When he is talking to me I just tune out everybody else. After all, I have _already _made a fool of myself in front of them.


----------



## Madison_Rose (Feb 27, 2009)

Hm, the guy sounds like an agressive idiot to me. I'd kick him to the kerb if I were you. Be very careful - amateur "therapy" could hurt you.


----------



## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

VIncymon said:


> Unlike working in a shop as a clerk or something, working in a lab where you gotta deal with people's bodies all day requires a certain level of confidence that I don't have yet ( would you like to have a nervous doctor ? ... of course not).
> 
> A co-worker has decided that he is going to help me overcome the "stigma in my mind". You know the whole ....
> 
> ...


He means well. Let him do his thing as long as he does not cross boundaries. He sounds like he probably wouldnt though.


----------



## TheCanadian1 (Sep 14, 2009)

Nothing wrong with getting some help, and it's nothing to be embarrassed about. People walking by should be supportive... I know I'd be happy to see someone working on themselves, it's an important part of life.


----------

