# Harsh Lesson: Why girls won't date the 'Nice Guy'



## TheDarkGuardian (Jun 1, 2013)

I'm a 'bad-boy' with a big heart and I have few friends who fall under this category of being the 'Nice Guy'. Here's an article that I think rings quite true by _ TAHLIA PRITCHARD

http://totalbull****blog.wordpress.com/2013/05/28/why-girls-wont-date-the-nice-guy/
_*"Girls never go for the nice guys."*

It's a common complaint among my male friends; all girls go for jerks. Like an annoying mosquito, I kind of want to slap any whiny male that utters this phrase.

See, 'nice guy' is a term I have a bit of an issue with. Maybe it's based on my personal experiences and what I see around me, but I feel the stereotype of nice guys constantly getting ****ed over is a little overdone. Want to appear instantly unattractive to a woman? Play the 'poor nice guys, always getting screwed over card' and you'll be successful.

This article isn't having a go at the genuine nice guys out there; I know they exist. This article goes out to the guys that play up the nice guy stereotype, that inevitably end up acting like jerks.
It's been stated by many girls I know/conversed with on this issue, that the term 'nice guy' or 'nice guy syndrome' is used by men who view themselves as nice guys, but whose nice deeds are really only motivated because of whatever romantic or sexual interest they may hold for the woman.
I'm talking about the type of guy who plays nice until things don't go his way, and then blames whatever decision a female has made about their friendship/relationship on the fact that it's because_ 'he's not a jerk, that's all that women go for, the nice guys always lose._' It's just not an unattractive look; it's also likely to make a woman's vagina lock up and have her toss away the key.

Being nice to a woman for a few months because you're pursuing her doesn't make you a 'nice' guy, especially if you're going to turn around and say nasty stuff about the female if she doesn't want to take things further. You were there for a girl when she was vulnerable, listened to her talk for an hour, wiped away her tears, and then get butt-hurt and make her feel bad when you don't get anything in return? That doesn't make you a nice guy that was led on, it makes you an arsehole.



If you become close to a female, and she just wants to be friends, that doesn't give someone a right to get pissed off and accuse the female population of only going for jerks. It just means unfortunately the timing wasn't right with this woman. The problem with the self-proclaimed 'nice guys', is that they're so hell bent on playing victim, that they don't realise the way they are coming across is actually a major turn-off.
I'm going to put it bluntly here, and of course this is an opinion piece so you may disagree with me, but these are some traits that aren't attractive in a potential male partner.
Jealousy is* not* attractive.

Playing victim for petty reasons is* not* attractive.
Fishing for obvious compliments and insecurity is* not* attractive.

Nice-guy syndrome is *not* attractive.

Speaking from a girl's perspective, I would never break up with someone because they were 'too nice'. That seems ridiculous to me. I would break up with someone if the attraction wasn't there, regardless of whether they were the loveliest person in the world or not.

It can be seen for the self-proclaimed nice guys that their niceness is based on self-interest and what they want, rather than taking into account both sides of the friendship or relationship.

Oh diddums.

I get why it's confusing for some guys. Women often portray themselves as the type that want to date sensitive and emotionally expressive men, and if that is indeed your personality and you're getting rejected after hearing female counterparts complain about jerks, then I understand that it's an absolute mind-****. But it's also how you act after that determines a lot about you.

Letting down a nice guy is actually really hard. Sometimes the attraction is just not there. It sucks, but be a man and take the rejection for what it is - it's not going to work, and that isn't because you are 'too nice'.

After ending one fling, I had to deal with this so called nice guy ranting about how 'women always go for the jerks' and then accusing me of seeing someone else. If anything it just reinforced my decision to end things with him. Yeah buddy. That's some really nice behaviour right there.

If you're a guy and/or a 'nice guy' (or even just a genuinely nice guy) and are absolutely confused out of your mind, here's some food for thought. Girls obviously want someone that treats them right, yes. But there is such thing as being 'too nice' and yes that will get you friend-zoned. Agreeing with everything she says? Not expressing your own opinion? Throwing her up on some sort of pedestal? Acting like you aren't good enough to be dating her or acting too possessive over her? These can all be things that are a turn off for a female, and that may lead her to feeling uncomfortable.
Girls want someone nice, but they also want someone confident and secure in themselves - those traits are far more sexier. If you're still getting rejected for being nice, don't start being a jerk.

Statistics (apparently) show that nice guys do win in the end when it comes to locking down a female long-term. Sometimes girls date jerks just to get it out of their system, so they're able to really commit to a nice guy for the long haul. A genuine nice guy that is. Not a guy that feels he is deserving for no good reason.

Like everything, it just depends on timing.​


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## AlchemyFire (Mar 4, 2013)

Take a look at this crazy woman, I think she might be one of the exceptions


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## Bluestar29 (Oct 26, 2013)

But you are rich and the savior of Gotham city. You are also fit so I don't think you are a bad boy( although you are a vigilante so that would make you a bad guy.)


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## TheDarkGuardian (Jun 1, 2013)

AlchemyFire said:


> Take a look at this crazy woman, I think she might be one of the exceptions


Hahahahahaha I pretty much feel how the judge feels hahahaha XD


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

I don't believe in the bad boy/nice guy dichotomy. Sure there are actual bad boys in the world and genuine nice guys as well but its never that black and white. If there is anything my attempt at dating has taught me is that there are other factors that play into attracting women other than being a bad guy or a nice guy.

There are traits some men have that women find attractive, I just have a hard time believing being an a**hole is that trait.

For the nice guys out there I think you will like this video.


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## gunner21 (Aug 4, 2012)

Being nice shouldn't warrant a male to be in a relationship with a female. Being nice should be the bare minimum.

Relevan: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

ughhhhhhh


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

:boogie


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## Idontgetit (Nov 1, 2013)

This has been overdone


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## soulless (Dec 18, 2010)

Always being told i'm a nice guy, or great guy, but never get the remotest interest except once in the last decade from now my ex of 4 years. When thought of in "that" way I apparently repulse most females.


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## purechaos (Dec 18, 2013)

I don't understand the "nice guy" claim, I find it manipulative. In fact most guys I run into proclaim this "nice guy" stance. Its a cop out really, no one is ever all rainbows and butterflies, be genuine and don't say either way and show your true colors, don't try to paint a pretty picture. Not to mention most everyone gets screwed over, there are no exceptions. Actually, its annoying really, constantly meeting guys that put on a front for you and act "bad" or playing Mr.nice guy with the halo on his head. Everyone knows that a person is never just ying or yang, yet people try to act like they are. I imagine women are guilty of the same. 


Just every time I hear a guy say "I'm a nice guy"..........I wanna say "I'm pretty sure you've broken someone's heart before, pissed someone off, made mistakes, and said something you shouldn't have" and if you think you haven't then maybe you are actually a narcissistic ahole who thinks everything they do is right. 

Same goes for the proclaimed a hole....I'm pretty sure they do nice things....


Realism


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## Testsubject (Nov 25, 2013)

Such an odd article. I always thought putting on show (deception) was part of the basic nature for acquiring a mate. Making yourself seem more valuable or appealing.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

AlchemyFire said:


> Take a look at this crazy woman, I think she might be one of the exceptions


I think some people are so used to people being dicks that when they actually meet someone who's genuinely very nice they're like 'what, this isn't right, they must want something. This is suspicious' Pretty sad.


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## TheDarkGuardian (Jun 1, 2013)

Idontgetit said:


> This has been overdone





arnie said:


> :boogie





meganmila said:


> ughhhhhhh


Maybe it needs to be told again to those folks who keep thinking 'oh im the nice guy that never gets the girls wah wah wah'


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## purechaos (Dec 18, 2013)

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/07/14/nice-guys-finish-last-an-excuse-without-meaning/


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

Testsubject said:


> Such an odd article. I always thought putting on show (deception) was part of the basic nature for acquiring a mate. Making yourself seem more valuable or appealing.


It is but it's best to be upfront and direct about your attraction. Trying to hang around (orbiter) a girl hoping one day she'll realize how awesome you are and be attracted is a total waste of time. I did that in college. I wish I could build a time machine to go back and slap myself around. lol.

And that's the problem with us "nice guys" it has nothing to do with being too nice. It's that we don't ask women out. It's really that simple.

Also, I think romance is a bit of a dance. You shouldn't reveal your interest too soon. Let her guess and wonder a little. Let the tension build.

The nice guy ruins it by overwhelming the girl with compliments from the beginning.

And if you have low self-esteem and let the girl walk all over you, that's also a turn off.


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## Testsubject (Nov 25, 2013)

AlchemyFire said:


> Take a look at this crazy woman, I think she might be one of the exceptions


I just showed this to some of the people in my department. Out of twelve people five are women. Out of that five women two said they can kinda understand with being annoyed with an overly nice guy.


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## TheDarkGuardian (Jun 1, 2013)

Testsubject said:


> I just showed this to some of the people in my department. Out of twelve people five are women. Out of that five women two said they can kinda understand with being annoyed with an overly nice guy.


There is such a thing as being a doormat when it comes to being too nice. This guy seems smoothe though, he could be a bit too nice but then this women was expecting him so smack her up so I'm more on his side in this video.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

You know how people say "be yourself" what if a guy's "self" is being very nice to people? I'm sure there are some genuine guys out there that aren't putting on some facade to get women to like them but still turns women off for being overly nice. Then I guess he wouldn't have to be himself and instead be someone else...yeah dating is confusing like that.


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## TheDarkGuardian (Jun 1, 2013)

Jesuszilla said:


> You know how people say "be yourself" what if a guy's "self" is being very nice to people? I'm sure there are some genuine guys out there that aren't putting on some facade to get women to like them but still turns women off for being overly nice. Then I guess he wouldn't have to be himself and instead be someone else...yeah dating is confusing like that.


A person who is nice by nature shouldn't have any problems with getting into relationships, provided they respect themselves. It's more the self-respect part that makes people attractive, not their doormatedness. You can be yourself, but at the same time you have to be willing to improve yourself if you want to better your chances of success. 
*
There's a difference between improving yourself for your own good and changing just for the sake of others.*


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)




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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

Jesuszilla said:


> You know how people say "be yourself" what if a guy's "self" is being very nice to people? I'm sure there are some genuine guys out there that aren't putting on some facade to get women to like them but still turns women off for being overly nice. Then I guess he wouldn't have to be himself and instead be someone else...yeah dating is confusing like that.


Yeah I've always been nice to everybody. I've never had a girlfriend but I don't say being nice is why I don't have one. Being too shy around them and being too nervous to ever approach is the reason.


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## Cyberboy82 (Jun 30, 2008)

Because "nice guys" are boring...


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

Being nice doesn't pay off

I've transitioned and started being horrible to people in the last week or so and guess what people seem to respect me more than when I was the nice guy. I told a woman to **** off the other day because she kept on trying to talk to me, after I told her to **** off she just said something like 'I like guys with that attitude' she may have been being sarcastic but she sounded serious enough to me.

Moral of the story

ACT LIKE A C*** AND IT WILL LAND YOU A WOMAN

nice guys are bottom of the food chain. Im glad I stopped being a nice guy.


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## inerameia (Jan 26, 2012)

I'm no lady killer but I think women just aren't attracted to insecure guys


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## changeme77 (Feb 22, 2013)

It seems as though many who proclaim to be "nice guys" aren't nice at all. One thing is for sure, they aren't humble.


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## purechaos (Dec 18, 2013)

Rich91 said:


> Being nice doesn't pay off
> 
> I've transitioned and started being horrible to people in the last week or so and guess what people seem to respect me more than when I was the nice guy. I told a woman to **** off the other day because she kept on trying to talk to me, after I told her to **** off she just said something like 'I like guys with that attitude' she may have been being sarcastic but she sounded serious enough to me.
> 
> ...


 She likes the fact that you exhibited having a back bone. Middle ground ....middle ground


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

Am I the only girl who doesn't care about jerks. I would always feel like kicking them in the nads. And start an argument all the time, and with some topics don't even get me started.


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## purechaos (Dec 18, 2013)

meganmila said:


> Am I the only girl who doesn't care about jerks. I would always feel like kicking them in the nads. And start an argument all the time, and with some topics don't even get me started.


 I imagine myself choking many a man that I encounter, lol.


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

purechaos said:


> She likes the fact that you exhibited having a back bone. Middle ground ....middle ground


Well that can only be a good thing


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## TheDarkGuardian (Jun 1, 2013)

meganmila said:


> Am I the only girl who doesn't care about jerks. I would always feel like kicking them in the nads. And start an argument all the time, and with some topics don't even get me started.


Most people hate jerks.

Most people love confident nice guys.

I know the diff.


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## h00dz (Dec 25, 2012)

Rich91 said:


> Being nice doesn't pay off
> 
> I've transitioned and started being horrible to people in the last week or so and guess what people seem to respect me more than when I was the nice guy. I told a woman to **** off the other day because she kept on trying to talk to me, after I told her to **** off she just said something like 'I like guys with that attitude' she may have been being sarcastic but she sounded serious enough to me.
> 
> ...


I totally get you man.

Its true, i'm a total *******, Alpha as **** and just punch women in the face when I don't like what they are saying. Then they suddenly want my junk.

I approve of this advice.


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

scarpia said:


>


That horse is beaten quite well the meat must be especially tender.

The truth is being a nice guy isnt special everyone is nice, the sky is blue wooo


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Rich91 said:


> Being nice doesn't pay off
> 
> I've transitioned and started being horrible to people in the last week or so and guess what people seem to respect me more than when I was the nice guy. I told a woman to **** off the other day because she kept on trying to talk to me, after I told her to **** off she just said something like 'I like guys with that attitude' she may have been being sarcastic but she sounded serious enough to me.
> 
> ...


Or in hospital, recovering from involuntary castration. :lol


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

This is why I've given up on dating. Wanting sex doesn't compare to actually becoming a bad person.

I'll stay a nice and lonely person, thanks.


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## goosebump (Jan 12, 2014)

Yesssssssss. This article expresses my view exactly.

Being nice is not an issue. Having a sense of entitlement to a relationship is.


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## mzmz (Feb 26, 2012)

*would have sex with OP*



TheDarkGuardian said:


> A person who is nice by nature shouldn't have any problems with getting into relationships, provided they respect themselves. It's more the self-respect part that makes people attractive, not their doormatedness. You can be yourself, but at the same time you have to be willing to improve yourself if you want to better your chances of success.
> *
> There's a difference between improving yourself for your own good and changing just for the sake of others.*


Thank you for saying in a very well thought out, written way, what women on this site try to say over and over, but men come out and say we dont know since we are just women - that we dont know what we want - we get personally attacked instead or reviving viable arguments about the points we make.

there are way too many "Nice Guys" on this site. and not enough assertive KIND guys who maybe have gotton rejected and heartbroken, but figure its not personal or that it might have something to do with THEIR shortcomings, not that all women are b****es or that all women "only liiiike jeeerks wahahhh"

I have been hurt by some jerks. Ive also been hurt by normal healthy men.
I dont date anymore, mostly cuase im sick of all the entitlement and whining from dudes who scream about how i owe them p****

Anyway, OP. thank you.



goosebump said:


> Yesssssssss. This article expresses my view exactly.
> 
> Being nice is not an issue. Having a sense of entitlement to a relationship is.


^ Yeah.


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## caelle (Sep 9, 2008)

AlchemyFire said:


> Take a look at this crazy woman, I think she might be one of the exceptions


They didn't mention anything about sex. Maybe that part isn't so great?

I bet if he was a beast in the sheets things would be different.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I don't hate them. I hate myself more.

I wish I were NOT an introvert, overweight, or had to wear glasses. 

I do feel I have strengths, though, and I'm trying my best to cope. Maybe my standards are too high?


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## prettyful (Mar 14, 2013)

i wouldnt mind dating a nice guy


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

h00dz said:


> I totally get you man.
> 
> Its true, i'm a total *******, Alpha as **** and just punch women in the face when I don't like what they are saying. Then they suddenly want my junk.
> 
> I approve of this advice.


Dont get sarcastic with me mate

the truth hurts. Deal with it.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

This topic is so played out but so easy to understand.

The terminology of "nice guy" as so far as being a needy pushover should be completely taken out of our understanding. There is no such thing. Why? Because a nice guy is simply a nice guy, and a bad guy is a bad guy (bad person). That's it.

Being nice is in no way correlated to an insecure person. Being nice simply means that you are a nice person who is thoughtful of other people, and girls ARE attracted to that, and so are men.

What ISN'T attractive is a needy, insecure person. When you are insecure or needy you ARE NOT being yourself; rather, you act from your insecurities which suffocates and asks too much of people and it's uncomfortable. An insecure person can be nice, just like a confident person can be nice. They are not correlated.

If you were to ask if I am a nice guy I would say yes and it would not affect my dating life whatsoever. If anything, it adds to a better life overall and more attraction for women and men because a confident nice person knows his/her boundaries but yet respects people enough to be kind and thoughtful. These types of people are POWERFUL people.

If you are a nice guy who knows how to approach, talk to, and lead by being the man in the relationship then you can be no better off, period. I am living proof of this, and so is every other nice guy you've ever met. This should be common sense but has be twisted and exaggerated and now guys are simply more confused than ever. It's sad. This shouldn't even be discussed anymore.

Also, being introverted is a lifestyle preference and also does NOT affect your dating life unless you allow it to. I am an introvert, and most guys who are dating coaches are introverts, so it means nothing. Introversion is also not correlated to a "weakness".


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## Minkiro (Nov 22, 2012)

bwidger85 said:


> This topic is so played out but so easy to understand.
> 
> The terminology of "nice guy" as so far as being a needy pushover should be completely taken out of our understanding. There is no such thing. Why? Because a nice guy is simply a nice guy, and a bad guy is a bad guy (bad person). That's it.
> 
> ...


Yes! Thank you! :clap


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

just dont be a doormat yes-man because she has a vagina. you can still be nice without being a complete "xxxoxox lol whatever u say baby )) xoxox u wanna go out this weekend lol jk jk lol but rly .. jk jk" cringe guy. its transparent, its easy to spot and its not doing you any favours.

unfortunately the only way for most guys to get past this over the top white knight ***** phase is to go through a breakup so you can reflect back and learn, as to not repeat the same "beta" bull****.

its amazing how many people on here think being nice means coming across desperate as **** and making someone feel uncomfortable. just talk to girls as you would a guy (obvious minus the possibly offensive stuff) and don't talk to her as if shes doing you some sort of favour. talk as an equal, have some god damn self respect.


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## inerameia (Jan 26, 2012)

Elad said:


> just dont be a doormat yes-man because she has a vagina. you can still be nice without being a complete "xxxoxox lol whatever u say baby )) xoxox u wanna go out this weekend lol jk jk lol but rly .. jk jk" cringe guy. its transparent, its easy to spot and its not doing you any favours.
> 
> unfortunately the only way for most guys to get past this over the top white knight ***** phase is to go through a breakup so you can reflect back and learn, as to not repeat the same "beta" bull****.
> 
> its amazing how many people on here think being nice means coming across desperate as **** and making someone feel uncomfortable. just talk to girls as you would a guy (obvious minus the possibly offensive stuff) and don't talk to her as if shes doing you some sort of favour. talk as an equal, have some god damn self respect.


I like this.


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## TheDarkGuardian (Jun 1, 2013)

Elad said:


> just dont be a doormat yes-man because she has a vagina. you can still be nice without being a complete "xxxoxox lol whatever u say baby )) xoxox u wanna go out this weekend lol jk jk lol but rly .. jk jk" cringe guy. its transparent, its easy to spot and its not doing you any favours.
> 
> unfortunately the only way for most guys to get past this over the top white knight ***** phase is to go through a breakup so you can reflect back and learn, as to not repeat the same "beta" bull****.
> 
> its amazing how many people on here think being nice means coming across desperate as **** and making someone feel uncomfortable. just talk to girls as you would a guy (obvious minus the possibly offensive stuff) and don't talk to her as if shes doing you some sort of favour. talk as an equal, have some god damn self respect.


^ Pretty much right. Glad I had my first heartbreak because it made me bitter at first but wiser at the end.


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

I wish someone would start a thread explaining why we argue over false premises as if they were facts.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

why do some people use the words beta, omega, alpha, euler. It makes it sound something that is animalistic. Dont be this or dont be that. Thats beta or thats alpha. All that crap can go to hell.


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

CopadoMexicano said:


> why do some people use the words beta, omega, alpha, euler. It makes it sound something that is animalistic. Dont be this or dont be that. Thats beta or thats alpha. All that crap can go to hell.


You're just jealous because you're euler.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

ohgodits2014 said:


> You're just jealous because you're euler.


Oh ok. at any rate, the categorization of humans into certain rank is dumb and psycho-babble. If I could I would be a womanizer in my dreams.


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## riderless (Jul 21, 2013)

Women do like nice guys but they also like confidence. You don't have to be a jerk. You just need to know your boundaries. I wouldn't like to be with a moaning b***h and neither would she. Most of us are looking for positive energy and a sympathetic ear now and then aren't we?


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Nice is always better but unfortunately power can go to popular people's heads and they become not so nice. Similar to how bosses can be mean if they want to.


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## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

bwidger85 said:


> I am an introvert, and most guys who are dating coaches are introverts, so it means nothing. Introversion is also not correlated to a "weakness".


I like your big post. Except for that little part here that I'm quoting which would be debatable.

Introversion predicts lower social status than extraversion in studies.


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## purechaos (Dec 18, 2013)

Mr Bacon said:


> I like your big post. Except for that little part here that I'm quoting which would be debatable.
> 
> Introversion predicts lower social status than extraversion in studies.


 Which studies?


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

CopadoMexicano said:


> why do some people use the words beta, omega, alpha, euler. It makes it sound something that is animalistic. Dont be this or dont be that. Thats beta or thats alpha. All that crap can go to hell.


Arf arf arf arf!


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## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

purechaos said:


> Which studies?


Off the top of my head, I remember reading this. You can dig deeper around the web if you want to find more accurate answers.

http://mors.haas.berkeley.edu/research/anderson/psp_81_1_116.pdf


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## Mochyn (Jan 6, 2014)

I'm attracted to nice guys but they don't stay nice for long, it's just a front to get the girl.


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## Loveless (Apr 6, 2012)

The issue isn't nice vs jerk it's good looks vs bad looks. A good looking guy can get any girl he wants. An ugly guy has to be satisfied with getting a good looking girl if he can meet the conditions of having money or just being lucky. I think the problem here is this. The ugly guys don't wanna go for an ugly chick. So they go for the hot girl and get rejected and then they have to settle for an ugly chick if they still try to find love at all. So basically just be good looking and you will be alright. I have never thought the nice guy vs jerk argument was relevant in any way.


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## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

TheDarkGuardian said:


> I'm a 'bad-boy' with a big heart


lol


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## TheDarkGuardian (Jun 1, 2013)

Roberto said:


> lol


I sounded cocky saying that but I think my heart is actually enlarged due to the clogged arteries I get from my sinister smoking habit.

And I'm actually quite a mean person, I said to one guy that I hate 'You sure are picky about your food but not so picky about your choice in girlfriends'.



Loveless said:


> The issue isn't nice vs jerk it's good looks vs bad looks. A good looking guy can get any girl he wants. An ugly guy has to be satisfied with getting a good looking girl if he can meet the conditions of having money or just being lucky. I think the problem here is this. The ugly guys don't wanna go for an ugly chick. So they go for the hot girl and get rejected and then they have to settle for an ugly chick if they still try to find love at all. So basically just be good looking and you will be alright. I have never thought the nice guy vs jerk argument was relevant in any way.


I'm calling BS on this. I wanted to date a girl who lots of people considered ugly but I thought she was beautiful because of her seemingly (at first) nice personality. Turns out once I got to know her though she really had some of her own issues to settle and though I wanted to change her, it's her life - not mine. Still have feelings for her, but I had to move on for my own sake. Many of my friends told me that I could do better than her and maybe they were right, but there's always that connection there for us.

Some people consider me a very attractive person because I've turned myself buff and don't really care about what others think of me - except for those I care about and unfortunately I find myself caring for people more than I do myself at times. I consider myself ugly though and I apply that double standard to myself, I'm going to hold out for the girl that is right for me, not the '10/10' that's not in my league. But then again the right girl for me is my '10/10', there's plenty of attractive girls out there sure but do they have the mental and emotional compatibility that I seek in a successful relationship? Most likely not.


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## Loveless (Apr 6, 2012)

I don't see what was BS in what I said. What I said is how I feel. And how I feel is what I do. That said I don't disagree with much of what you said. I just know that if I was to never find love, I would find this life to be as meaningless as nothingness and oblivion.


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## riderless (Jul 21, 2013)

Loveless said:


> The issue isn't nice vs jerk it's good looks vs bad looks. A *good looking guy can get any girl he wants*. *An ugly guy has to be satisfied *with getting a good looking girl if he can meet the conditions of having money or just being lucky. I think the problem here is this. The ugly guys don't wanna go for *an ugly chick*. So they go for the hot girl and get rejected and then they *have to settle for an ugly chick* if they still try to find love at all. So basically just be good looking and you will be alright. I have never thought the nice guy vs jerk argument was relevant in any way.


Not only disrespectful but simple-minded as well.


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## Loveless (Apr 6, 2012)

I know lol. I'm just bitter.


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## mzmz (Feb 26, 2012)

bwidger85 said:


> This topic is so played out but so easy to understand.
> 
> The terminology of "nice guy" as so far as being a needy pushover should be completely taken out of our understanding. There is no such thing. Why? Because a nice guy is simply a nice guy, and a bad guy is a bad guy (bad person). That's it.
> 
> ...


good point. ^ Ive also given a lot of thought on my being "a nice girl" sometimes in the same, needy, desperate way. eww no wonder no one wants me.



Mochyn said:


> I'm attracted to nice guys but they don't stay nice for long, it's just a front to get the girl.


^THis sadly is also often true.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

If you're nice, congratulations. You're acting like a decent human being. 

Nobody needs to be rewarded a relationship, or sex, or anything, really, for being a decent human being.


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## Asdf*456 (Feb 1, 2014)

Umm.. Last time I checked I'm a girl...and....I would only EVER go for a nice guy...


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

It depresses me knowing I'll never be compatible to any girl on earth. Im not a looker and that and being awkward as **** is the only reason girls are not interested.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Rich91 said:


> It depresses me knowing I'll never be compatible to any girl on earth. Im not a looker and that and being awkward as **** is the only reason girls are not interested.


Are you just venting? Because all of your posts are like this.


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

DeeperUnderstanding said:


> Are you just venting? Because all of your posts are like this.


No im not venting

at the end of the day what I am saying is true. I'll never get a girl now as I've never had a girlfriend before, obviously in the real world this will be a massive blow and I dont think any girl would be able to overlook the fact that im not a success with the ladies.


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## Gwynevere (Oct 6, 2013)

You're 22, it's a little odd to be giving up so early.


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## Kiwong (Aug 6, 2010)

I think the OPs post is true that there is the type of 'love shy nice guy' who is anything but. They're really nice, but attractive women won't give them the time of day. They're miserable and unhappy and it's all women's fault. Good guys are good by nature, because that is who they are not because of something they want. Fact is many women find honesty and genuineness attractive

I've been unlucky in love, but it isn't anyone's fault, it is mostly mine. I'm not that nice a guy, in my twenties I was pretty shallow.


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## dontwaitupforme (Feb 23, 2013)

Nice people date nice people. Anything but is a manipulation against the other. I am aware of this. In the past, I have done this on to others. I wanted to attract men for nothing more than my own selfish pride/ego. It is truly disgusting. I am disgusted.. At myself. I realize that this is a cruel trick to play on other people.. I can only imagine the hurt they must have felt. For this.. I am sorry.


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## owls (Oct 23, 2010)

nicely put.


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## Unluckyiguess (Apr 3, 2013)

Gwynevere said:


> You're 22, it's a little odd to be giving up so early.


Says the person 3 years younger than him. Lol.



dontwaitupforme said:


> Nice people date nice people. Anything but is a manipulation against the other. I am aware of this. In the past, I have done this on to others. I wanted to attract men for nothing more than my own selfish pride/ego. It is truly disgusting. I am disgusted.. At myself. I realize that this is a cruel trick to play on other people.. I can only imagine the hurt they must have felt. For this.. I am sorry.


Thank you for saying.


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## Gwynevere (Oct 6, 2013)

Unluckyiguess said:


> Says the person 3 years younger than him. Lol.


I didn't give up, I re-thought what I was looking for.


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## Unluckyiguess (Apr 3, 2013)

Gwynevere said:


> I didn't give up, I re-thought what I was looking for.


That makes sense although I doubt you share the same problems as the person you originally responded to. I hope what your looking for is a nice , boring and ugly guy.


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## Gwynevere (Oct 6, 2013)

Unluckyiguess said:


> That makes sense although I doubt you share the same problems as the person you originally responded to. I hope what your looking for is a nice , boring and ugly guy.


Nice is good, boring is a choice, and ugly is subjective. I'm not saying Rich doesn't have some serious problems standing in his way, most of us here do, I just think it's odd that he's saying at 22, with potentially 80 years left in his life, that he's just not even gonna try anymore.


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## Putin (May 21, 2013)

I have grown extremely weary of the "nice" guy/"bad" boy fallacy.


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## Unluckyiguess (Apr 3, 2013)

Gwynevere said:


> Nice is good, boring is a choice, and ugly is subjective. I'm not saying Rich doesn't have some serious problems standing in his way, most of us here do, I just think it's odd that he's saying at 22, with potentially 80 years left in his life, that he's just not even gonna try anymore.


I'm glad your supporting someone on this site and trying to get them to not give up. I'm just being honest. How many guys have you walked up to and said hi I'm Gwynevere and they said get away from me ugly girl. Grade school doesn't count. After enough rejections it starts to look bleek and is painful


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## Gwynevere (Oct 6, 2013)

Unluckyiguess said:


> I'm glad your supporting someone on this site and trying to get them to not give up. I'm just being honest. How many guys have you walked up to and said hi I'm Gwynevere and they said get away from me ugly girl. Grade school doesn't count. After enough rejections it starts to look bleek and is painful


I don't ask guys out in person, but I've done so twice through facebook messages and was rejected both times (once with no explanation, once because I seemed unsocial and had no friends so I wouldn't fit in with his friends).

I highly doubt anyone is saying "get away you're ugly to him". It's more likely he's getting the no-explanation one, and then going home and assuming it's because he's ugly.

Yes it's painful but I guess the question is, what's more painful, a rejection or being alone forever?


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## FelineFatale (Nov 30, 2013)

It works both ways, though. I've seen even the most down-to-earth guys go after and be in relationships with the most high maintenance females. Regardless if you're the nice guy or the bad boy, many males will stare longer at the "Megan Fox" type than the "Ellen Page" type. 


I may just be a bitter female, though.


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## TheDarkGuardian (Jun 1, 2013)

FelineFatale said:


> It works both ways, though. I've seen even the most down-to-earth guys go after and be in relationships with the most high maintenance females. Regardless if you're the nice guy or the bad boy, many males will stare longer at the "Megan Fox" type than the "Ellen Page" type.
> 
> I may just be a bitter female, though.


Hahahaha, no way Jose!

I love Ellen Page and if I was in a room with Stalin, Hitler and Megan Fox and had two bullets in my gun I'd shoot Megan, twice.


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## planet x (Aug 29, 2013)

TheDarkGuardian said:


> Hahahaha, no way Jose!
> 
> I love Ellen Page and if I was in a room with Stalin, Hitler and Megan Fox and had two bullets in my gun I'd shoot Megan, twice.


Although I would shoot Hitler and Stalin, I also would prefer Page over Fox. Have you seen the plastic surgery job?


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