# RESOURCE: How you got SA - Your life through a lens



## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Hi

_This post makes an attempt to explain in simple terms where your SA and the roots of your pain come from, and why certain psychotherapeutic techniques work. Unfortunately there is NO SHORT WAY to explain the principles of cognitive neuroscience and its role in SA and depression - so, this is VERY LONG._

I have been trying to think of a way to demonstrate the enormous role - and yet near invisibility - of the 'mental filters' that underlie depression and anxiety. When people are new to the idea of challenging thoughts it seems bizarre - after all you have lived a life being perfectly aware that your experience of the world reflects reality as it is, and without the ability to access someone else's consciousness, you never will have had reason to suspect that your experience is any different to the guy next to you. Except somehow, he is happy.

*Processing, Logic and Heuristics*

The world is a very big place, with thousands of events occurring all at once - overlapping, influencing and coloring. The brain, although complex, cannot handle all of this information at once. The world is not like a neat computer program, with each line of data separate and distinct from the last. The brain is NOT like the PC in front of you right now, which works on LOGIC. A computer checks to see that 1+1=2 and that the algorithms add up. If they don't, then the program cannot work and you may need to reboot.

The brain however DOES NOT work on logic - it works on something called 'heuristics'. This is the process of drawing important information from the environment, *prioritizing it according to its positive or negative effect on the organism,* and then using this data to GENERALISE the rest of what it takes in - in order to deal with the huge volume of information the world throws at it. A child is VERY VULNERABLE - and any THREAT data will be thus prioritized, possibly out of all proportion to the actual threat. But it keeps the child safe for the time being. The correct term for these filters is *SCHEMAS*, or at a slighty shallower (but still therapeutically effective) level, *thoughts*, *rules and assumptions *and *Core Beliefs*.

To compare this to the animal world, if a small rabbit is attacked by a fox, it will then look for signs of foxes - red fur, a rustling in the bush, shining teeth. They may not BE there, but the rabbit wants to be SURE. Its tetchy, afraid. It may even miss a nice carrot right in front of it  To take this same principle and apply it to human children, depending on the Childs early environment the brain will priorities certain things just like the rabbit. At this age it is USEFUL because it protects the child from that environment. But after enough time, this becomes the filter for the world that is taken into adulthood. Depending on what is now prioritized, the adult experience will be good or bad. Imagine it like standing in a fast flowing river as a child. The child (the orange thing with arms) 'catches' experiences (good and bad - the knives and happy faces) and the distribution of pain and good influences the way their filter and coping mechanisms (the red box) work from then on:

*Filter Development based on Childhood Environment and effect in adult life*








_
Formation of childhood adaptive filter, carried into later life._

*In panel 1,* the child catches many good, loving things and accumulates the experience that the world is good and loving. They are insulated or taught how to dodge / deal with bad things, and so they do not accumulate. Their filter, trying to keep up with the pace of the world, and presuming that this is how things are, builds the heuristic model that in general, it's wise to look out for good things, as this is what the world is like. Bad things tend to pass through. Is it a true model of the world? No, of course not, this is impossibly optimistic - but overall the child will feel safe and happy. The red filter is carried into adulthood and the adult is impossibly happy 

*In panel 2,* the child experiences a lot of positive, but also some frightening moments when a big knife floats down the river at them and maybe they cant quite GET OUT THE WAY! The child feels the pain, and so he forms a partial filter to recognise when trouble may be about to brew. Some negative is absorbed, and continues to be, because this is now part of the filter. But generally s/he accumulates more positive, the filter reflects this and so they are able to take in more positive things than bad, as their heuristic says 75% of the world is good, with 25% bad! On balance, the child will feel good and be able to 'filter out' or cope with most bad things and be able to accept most good things. This reasonably accurately reflects reality OUTSIDE OF THE FAMILY HOME AND CHILDHOOD ENVIRNMENT, and because the child can mostly see good things, s/he feels safe and happy. The filter carries into adulthood and the adult too, is happy.

*In panel 3* the child is struggling. Their environment contains a lot more knives (threats) and s/he gets cut more often. Wanting desperately to avoid this pain, s/he develops a filter that 75% of the time LOOKS FOR SIGNS OF THREAT OR PAIN. The filter can now only process a small amount of happy things and in general will see the bad in the world, letting the positive float through the filter without seeing it, or perhaps even discarding it as s/he sees it as 'unimportant' - after all, its not a threat - so why pay attention to it? I just don't want to get CUT!! Threats are absorbed and not dealt with and pain accumulates. As the pain builds up so the filter becomes stronger, picking out more and more pain and seeing less and less love. It does not reflect reality in later life and though some good gets through occasionally, threats are seen more readily than good.

*In panel 4* a couple of VERY LARGE incidents wipe out any ability for the child to see the positive. Terrified of all the world because of these enormously painful events, the child desperately tries to avoid pain but can see nothing else. S/he absorbs more and more as s/he sees less and less good. The world becomes dark and bleak where her needs are never met. The experience is pain and the avoidance of pain. This does not reflect reality at all, but the total fear of the negative events recurring means that positive inputs are ignored. This child is likely to develop very severe emotional problems / life symtpoms of PTSD or even personality disorders.

*How it carries over - Cognitive Distortions*

As an adult then, in each case the person is walking around with the filter they built as a child. They are unaware of any other way of being and feeling because THEIR OWN EXPERIENCE tells them what it saw and what it knows. The good things that float past are literally OUT OF THE INDIVIDUALS REALM OF EXPERIENCE and so cannot be processed - leading to the common cognitive distortions, or thinking biases, commonly found in SA and depression. Not seeing positive comments. Disqualifying positive comments (he just pities me). Overgeneralising (the world is a horrible place). Mental Filter (I heard him say that Phil is an idiot. That means that the whole world is like this). Magnification (if I screw up I will be rejected by everyone). The list goes on - but the key thing is that anxious and depressed people TAKE THEIR EXPERIENCE AS BEING OBJECTIVE AND REAL.

As they accumulate more pain, so they are continually negatively aroused. Their bad mood intensifies their filter, making them see even more negative and even turning the positive or neutral bad. With the interpretation of facts through an emotional lens comes the distortion of EMOTIONAL REASONING (I feel bad so they must be laughing at me).

*Starting to change and some barriers to change*

So, that is why when you first try to challenge your thoughts, it feels fake. It feels like you are making it up, because according to your filter THAT IS NOT HOW THE WORLD IS. You *know* its bad and hurtful because of all the evidence you built up ... but wait, whats that that just passed through the gate? Hmmmm ... In fact having another person challenge your negative filter can feel like an insult. YOU KNOW how painful the world is - its OBVIOUS! You can see it EVERYWHERE! How could they be so insensitive to suggest I see things 'wrong'? NOW I'M ANGRY.

Perhaps you think that trying to see the world as it is will open you up to more pain? That even though you hurt now, its better to be safe than sorry and remain where you are for now. Change is too much to deal with - I feel too depressed to try, and it will not work anyway. Look at all this proof I have to back those thoughts up, right here on the bank .... Maybe your changing would make someone else's life hard? Perhaps your parnts would be upset to think they had 'damaged' you and so you do not change out of guilt. Perhaps you consider that its the world's fault you are like you are (see the evidence back here??) and you are too ANGRY to contemplate asking someone to help you, or to belive that anyone GENUINELY CARES enough to help you without wanting to hurt you. Maybe your trust has been eroded that far - it is possible and you have every right to feel that way. But do you want to STAY that way?

Of course the river is the real experiences of life and your place in it. The filter is the ways you learn to behave to deal with it, and what you think about and consciously absorb. Thinking, Doing, Feeling. What's on the bank is your memories and they tell you certain things. What's in your filter affects how you THINK (cognitive) what you DO (Behavioural) and so how you feel. Change the filter - and so the thinking and the doing - and you change the feeling. This must be done retrospectively (looking at the past and seeing the presence of the filter there) and also looking at the present and future (what's arriving, and whats upstream). These are your past experiences, your current thoughts and your rules and assumptions for upcoming events. This is the basis for CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) as well as the newer Schema Therapy, which has even more powerful methods of looking at 'what's on the bank' and how it makes the filter work.

_*Its gonna take tiiiime .... a whle lotta precious tiiiiiime ..... Gonna take Patience and time .....*_

Changing your thoughts is the same as changing that filter. Years of flowing river have shaped it, and it can take a long time to change the furrows that have been worn there. But it can be done. It is possible to go from panel 3 or 4 to panel 2 by gradually challenging the evidence you have built and accumulated and starting to see more of the happy faces that float past. When the filter changes, its like someone just took a pair of broken sunglasses off you, and suddenly you can see ... WHY COULDNT I SEE IT BEFORE?

Childhood neurology, that's why. Understand how the human machine works and you can understand how to change it - to begin to steer its course onto a more favorable path.

I'll post a bit more to this in a bit.

_*NB: Exceptions* - biological disorders e.g Schizophrenia / Bipolar; Drug induced depressions; biological illness induced depression e.g hypothyroidism._
[hrp3g2yb7][/hrp3g2yb7]
_Sources:_

*Biopsychology*; _John Pinel_
*Schema Therapy - a Practitioners Guide*; _Klosko and Young_
*Wider than the Sky;* _Gerald Edelman_
*Cognitive Therapy of Anxiety Disorders;* _Adrian Wells_
*Roadblocks in CBT;* _Robert Leahy_


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

*Re: Your life through a lens - Origins of SA - (LOOOOONG)*

Here's a little about how that filter can work in the present.

I was talking above about how the filter will preferentially select things from the environment and ignore others. This can seem bizarre if it's a new concept, because it seems impossible that you could miss anything - after all, you're RIGHT THERE. This is the core principle of heuristics though. Their entire point is to cut down the amount of work the brain needs to do everyday by providing SHORTCUTS. If these shortcuts focus on more positive things, great - you're gonna feel fine. But if they focus more on the NEGATIVE, or worse, turn the positive INTO the negative, then you are going to be feeling some pain.

Take a look at the picture below:










*The top picture* is trying to represent how the cognitive distortions of "Disqualifying the Positive" and "Magnification" function. Though in reality the individual would not be aware of the filter, nonetheless they have a kind of apparatus which make them view the world differently from what it actually is. *It does this by giving things emotional meaning* - that is the function of the filter (the red box back in the first post). So it's not like you are HALLUCINATING - but your emotional bias that you attach to people, objects and events WILL vary widely, on average, from reality. Sometimes you are right - but the degree to which you attach negative emotional bias to otherwise positive or neutral events, or the degree to which you MAGNIFY the importance of negative events, so you will feel anxious or depressed. This you can see represented by the crossed out happy faces (*Disqualifying the positive* - Continually "shooting down" positive experiences for arbitrary, ad hoc reasons), and the individual *Magnifying* (Inappropriately understating or exaggerating the way people or situations truly are. Often the positive characteristics of other people are exaggerated and negative characteristics are understated.) the very bright, luminous angry faces. *Both happy and sad are there* - but the apparatus the guy is wearing makes it impossible for him to see the scene objectively.

*The bottom picture* illustrates the principle of "The Mental Filter". This is where a single negative detail that you take in colours the entire world in a dark, frightening way. You feel unable to know where to turn, like you are trapped in a fog. The analogy here is that if you CHANGE THE FILTER YOU ARE USING (e.g. like using thermal vision in smoke or fog) suddenly you are able to see that there are bright spots hidden in the mist that you had created for yourself. And when you head toward the bright spots instead of staring at the gloom, you will start to feel better.

Wikipedia has a good entry on Cognitive Distortions HERE so that you can begin to try to identify how these filters may be working in your life.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

*Re: Your life through a lens - Origins of SA - (LOOOOONG)*

Cool! That one has been brewing for a while .. it was a difficult birth as anyone who saw my previous cartoon attempts will tell you ... ops

Remember, the Cognitive Distortions are just one plank of the approach to challenging thoughts. Here are some links to other resources I've posted on using CBT. Its not complete by any means, but it'll give you a (free) headstart!

"You feel the way you think" - how thoughts affect your mood
Some CBT Basics
Why SA doesnt work like the other anxieties, and how to deal
Attentional Training
A Mood Diary Example
Common SA thoughts and some challenges 
My Psych Routine and CBT Process Overview 
The importance of meditation

Ross


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## CoconutHolder (Oct 13, 2007)

*Re: Your life through a lens - Origins of SA - (LOOOOONG)*

Thanks, Ross! 

:banana


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## CoconutHolder (Oct 13, 2007)

*Re: Your life through a lens - Origins of SA - (LOOOOONG)*

I have that song stuck in my head now....

I've got my mind.......set on you.......
I've got my mind........set on you.......

thats a good song too. he he

Oh and the new cartoon was simply awesome. :yes

:sas


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## loganmk (Nov 12, 2004)

*Re: Origins of SA - Your life through a lens*

:thanks I can see now that I had a lot of knives coming at me as a child and more coming at me as a teen. Now as an adult a lot of good has come my way but I do not process it that way.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

*Re: How you got SA - Your life through a lens*

Hi Logan

Glad it was informative. Are you trying ways to see more of the happy faces and less knives now?


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## loganmk (Nov 12, 2004)

Ross,

I am not finished reading all your posts. But thank you so much! I am working at seeing the good. Maybe you covered it but do you think blushing then is due to distortions in thought process? See, I blush in a lot of social situations (heart palpitations too) and I would argue that "no thoughts" go through my head and that the blushing "just happens" without my control. What do you think? Daily, I tell my self "positive thoughts" but when placed in the situation, it seems like some robot takes over and the SA comes on. I gather from what you have posted that I am having thoughts but it is just that they are automatic? before I thought CBT was useless. I might give it a try.


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## loganmk (Nov 12, 2004)

Ross,

I am not finished reading all your posts. But thank you so much! I am working at seeing the good. Maybe you covered it but do you think blushing then is due to distortions in thought process? See, I blush in a lot of social situations (heart palpitations too) and I would argue that "no thoughts" go through my head and that the blushing "just happens" without my control. What do you think? Daily, I tell my self "positive thoughts" but when placed in the situation, it seems like some robot takes over and the SA comes on. I gather from what you have posted that I am having thoughts but it is just that they are automatic? before I thought CBT was useless. I might give it a try.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

The first thoughts you need to check are these:

1) *I always blush.* OVERGENERALISATION, EMOTIONAL REASONING: What proof do you have you are blushing? Does 100% of people tell you that you are? Have you seen yourself in a mirror? Or does it just FEEL like you are blushing?

2) *If people see me blush something terrible will happen.* CATASTROPHISING, FORTUNE TELLING, PERSONALISATION: What would it mean if people saw you blush? What will happen? Will they reject you and talk about you? Will they say bad things about you behind your back? Have you ever seen another person blush and just thought "oh hey, their face is red. OK whats for lunch?" and then forgotten about it? Is it possible that people do not judge you for blushing in the way you think they do? If they did - what is the worst thing that could happen - and how likely is that to occur?

3) *Blushing is a sign of weakness or stupidity.* LABELING, MIND READING: How do you know this? Might you check with other (non SA) people to see what they think if they see someone blush? Has anyone rich and powerful ever blushed?

4) *I should not blush*. SHOULD STATEMENT: Why? Its a natural human reaction and it is not a sign of defectiveness or unlovability. In fact, might some people even find it appealing? It shows you care what they think and perhaps even value their opinion, so blushing could theoretically show that you like another person, making them like you in return.

Simply telling yourself positive thoughts is utterly NOT what CBT is about. CBT is about identifying those incorrect filters that you learned in childhood and how they are automatically influencing how you behave and feel in the present, and then seeing the REALITY of the situation - the consequences, the real meanings and what it really means for your life as a whole. Its about perspective - not blithe insistence on being impossibly optimisitic. Seeing the good, bad and neutral in all things and understanding that their impact is nothing like what your FEELINGS TELL YOU IT IS.

Particularly for blushing, I highly recommend you read and apply the posts called "Why SA doesnt work like the other anxieties, and how to deal" and "Attentional Training". It is long and may take a couple weeks practice, but it is absolute DYNAMITE for this kind of thing  Keep on reading and gimme a holler if you wanna.

Ross


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## CoconutHolder (Oct 13, 2007)

Yes. I have read that people are more receptive to people who blush because it shows they care and are humble. Interesting, huh?

It does seem to be an endearing quality. Mabey it would help us blushers more to look at it that way.

I have also read this about blushing. If you try to make yourself blush more while you are blushing, it has a counteractive effect on your blush and helps it to decrease.

Or imaging splashing your face with cold water.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Good point, I had forgotten about that one! Thank you Coco  To add to this Logan, my friend Carol is absolutely _adored_ because she blushes ALL THE TIME. My friend Dan also has permanently pink cheeks and people think of him as friendly! OK his attitude is 'friendly' too, but you get the point


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## bender3008 (Jan 17, 2008)

I would truly prefer to have a mind that worked like Mr. Spock's -
pure logic - no emotion - 
would be a far better and 
productive life than living 
with anxiety/paranoia/social phobia
- since truly, nothing 
makes me happy anyway 
- happiness is truly alien
to me. I can count on 
one hand the times in my life I have been happy...about anything.

BTW - in your diagram, you are merely assuming that there ARE "happy faces" among the "knives"
What if there really weren't any smiles?
In the real world.
What then? Of course you'd say there are smiles
but you're not seeing them because of cogntive dissonance. Can you prove to me that all those "smilies" actually exist? in my real world?
How can you do that?


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

You're quite right to make that challenge Bender (great avatar btw - Bender rules  ) If you really live in a town where NOT A SINGLE GOOD THING EVER HAPPENS, and no one is good, compassionate, giving, friendly, complimentary, outgoing or helpful, then I would agree with you wholeheartedly! It would be a horrible, blackening experience, like living in a place with no people at all or .. well, Hell. Or prison.

But take the last example of prison. Sucky place right? To turn your question back on yourself, prove to me that in prison there is not a single example of kindness, friendship, compassion or human virtue? You can't do it either - and I would tell you that yes - your cognitive filter is blocking out the good.

Even in the holocaust, victims were able to find the good - it might be a good place for you to begin your research. Im not saying the smiles WERE there in your world, just that its EXCEPTIONALLY UNLIKELY that there really were none.

But this is beside the point. Even if you are a PANEL 4'er, and your childhood was truly shocking, then it is STILL POSSIBLE to change your filter in order to feel happier. It may take a lot more input and time, but the basic principle of what I am saying still holds true - there is some good in the world you live in now, you must learn to see it and SEEK IT OUT. And if you live in a town where good DOES happen, but you maitain it doesnt happen TO YOU, then I would say that yes - your cognitive filter is almost certainly getting in the way. Reread what I have written - your views affect your behaviour towards others - and if the way you feel causes you to become bitter and resentful towards others, or you completely avoid them, then that may well push them away and you WILL receive less good input. That is why FOR YOU you may have to change your expectations (future) first, overcome your avoidance and then work back through present and past - once your filter begins to change. Up there I am only outlining a principle - the time it takes to heal can be very different in each person.



Bender3008 said:


> - since truly, nothing
> makes me happy anyway


That kind of confirms that maybe yes - your filters ARE working full time, wouldnt you say? You may be dysthymic or have severe anhedonia. I'd be interested to know what makes you say that though? How did you experience your world? Can I ask what happened? You mentioned Paranoia - did you know this has its own specialised treatment program? If you are Schizophrenic or Bipolar, then I am truly sorry to hear that - but you will see at the bottom of the article I have mentioned that the conditioning process may not apply in biologically induced psychological issues. These would require a very different process of treatment. However, there is no known link that says psychological trauma can permanently and irreversibly change the _physical_ structure of the brain. It can change the _neurological architecture_ very deeply, but this in itself is PLASTIC - with the right inputs it has at least the *possibility *of being moderated.

If you are in the Personality Disorder category of suffering, such as BPD, then your pain will be very intense indeed and I could well understand your feelings. But even BPD can be successfully moderated, if not healed, through Schema Therapy - a newer form of CBT / Psychodynamic / Gestalt / Attachment theory especially designed to treat just these kind of disorders. The time frame may well be measured in years, but it can and does happen. If you do NOT belong in one of these categories, now that you know that even the extremes of psychological distress can be treated, I hope you are just a little more convinced that you too, may be able to experience some happiness in the future 

Ross


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## loganmk (Nov 12, 2004)

:int Ross, you have helped so much! cannot thank you enough! I wish all on the board would read your posts. Good points you have. You know, when my boss gets a little mad (he is bald headed) he turns red and I am talking very visable red. No one really cares, they make a small joke that he must be mad today and we all go one about our business. I had a college teacher several years ago that blushed. We even talked about it. She said exactly, "yeah when I am excited it starts at my chest and goes to my neck" See, she was very passionate about her subjects and she did indeed blush when she got "wired" up but she did not link it to any anxiety but more of excitement. Now, I can blush in normal conversation....it is noticable as I have had people say things or I looked in mirror afterwards. But, I guess before I babble on too long in the post, you are saying.....who cares if I do? right? why should I assign meaning to it? such as "I am not adept socially" If I turn red, I turn red. People only talk about it for a few seconds, even if that. If I keep on reading your posts I might get rid of this nasty SA. :thanks


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## bender3008 (Jan 17, 2008)

Thanks Ross. Really. I am going to try ....again. sigh.
I called a "social -phobia support group" - I told them I found it quite amusing that they expect social-phobics to want to go to "meetings"
or "groups". Surprise surprise!....she actually got it! She saw the irony I was exposing in their plan of group meetings...for social phobics. But hey, she listened and actually got it, was amused herself and seemed to care. Well WoW. They're actually trying to understand us!!
oh btw, it's CBT based, and I believe it may also be more along the lines of other concepts you have presented as well! ok....smilie time  wow I actually saw one!

:thanks


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## Phla12 (Mar 25, 2008)

Ross, 

Outstanding work. You seem really knowledgeable and it's nice to see someone who genuinely cares about helping others without getting something in return.

This makes a lot of sense to me, esp. given what I believe is the root cause of my SA-- my father's death when I was 9 (which I suppose could serve as a significant "knife"). I plan on checking out the Wikipedia link you gave and the other links about CBT, and maybe will look into this further-- I tried it once with a psychologist but I'm really beginning to think she wasn't very good at it. Maybe I'll look into purchasing a book and read it over summer (when I won't have class).

I was also interested in your stance on medication, particularly SSRIs, in the process of getting better?

Well thanks for the post, I find it all really interesting and hope to explore it further.

James


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