# I think I'm too much of a nice guy.. too innocent



## onlylordknows (Apr 27, 2004)

I'm too innocent for girls to be attracted to me.

I am a nice guy and girls want someone more exciting.. unlike me. 

I can get that first attraction from them.. but once they get to know me, it starts going downhill

:sigh


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

You're not alone in that boat.
Keep in mind that at 22 especially, women may not know what they want (as it is for most guys).


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## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

dont be too hard on yourself, nice guys finish first.


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## bent (Aug 4, 2005)

*Re: re: I think I'm too much of a nice guy.. too innocent*



Equisgurl said:


> dont be too hard on yourself, nice guys finish first.


Marry Equisgurl...she might be the only one who likes nice guys 

btw, Equisgurl cool avatar!


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## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

There's nothing wrong with being nice, but don't be a door mat. Don't agree with everything someone says just for the sake of it, and don't appear needy or desperate. Those are the biggest problems that "nice guys" have.


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## winduptoy (Jun 21, 2005)

Innocent, nice guys are my favorite type. :yes Even if it seems like most girls want someone more "exciting," remember that there are always a few who prefer nice guys!


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## GraceLikeRain (Nov 9, 2003)

*Re: re: I think I'm too much of a nice guy.. too innocent*



Equisgurl said:


> nice guys finish first.


 :agree

If you go after the right type of girl, and there are a lot of us out there. If you go after the type who is only looking for a jerk, then you get what you ask for.


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## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

*Re: re: I think I'm too much of a nice guy.. too innocent*



GraceLikeRain said:


> Equisgurl said:
> 
> 
> > nice guys finish first.
> ...


Not that I don't agree, but...

1. "Go after a girl": Fat chance. Guys like us will make a move only if 100% certain of success. For me, so far, I've made zero moves on girls in my life.

2. We can't tell what a girl wants. That ties into my first point on needing to be certain of success.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Usually nice guys finish last and that's a fact. There are women out there who appreciate nice guys, like me, but it's very rare...just like it's rare to find a guy who isn't a complete *******. Good luck.


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## bent (Aug 4, 2005)

*Re: re: I think I'm too much of a nice guy.. too innocent*



Strange Religion said:


> Usually nice guys finish last and that's a fact. There are women out there who appreciate nice guys, like me, but it's very rare...just like it's rare to find a guy who isn't a complete @$$#. Good luck.


 :agree

preach it sister


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## cat burglar (Sep 2, 2006)

You need to work on your manliness. The next time a woman asks you out, slap her hard on the *** and yell in your most primal tone, "NAH, *****," and she'll swoon, "He's the only man for me!"

News will spread and soon the ladies will be flocking to your doorstep in droves.


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

Yeah! Right!


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## richie (Jan 24, 2006)

*Re: re: I think I'm too much of a nice guy.. too innocent*



Strange Religion said:


> Usually nice guys finish last and that's a fact. There are women out there who appreciate nice guys, like me, but it's very rare...just like it's rare to find a guy who isn't a complete @$$#. Good luck.


Yes, I really believe that their are women out there who like nice guys, problem is there's probably dozens of "nice guys" out there for every one woman that wants one.


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## AdamCanada (Dec 6, 2003)

i kind of thought i was pretty nice, my gf calls me an *** all the time though :stu

:lol


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## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

*Re: re: I think I'm too much of a nice guy.. too innocent*



PGVan said:


> 1. "Go after a girl": Fat chance. Guys like us will make a move only if 100% certain of success. For me, so far, I've made zero moves on girls in my life.
> 
> 2. We can't tell what a girl wants. That ties into my first point on needing to be certain of success.


PGVan, there are no 100% certainties in life. Any time you go outside or go in a car or take a class or go to work there is a chance something bad could happen, but I'm sure you take the chance. 
I used to feel the way you do...it was because I was seeking validation. I felt like I wasn't good enough as a person, so if a girl I liked said yes to me, then all of a sudden, all those years of alienation and lack of self-worth would disappear. But it doesn't usually work that way. When you actually like yourself as a human being, it won't matter what other people say. You will no longer become outcome dependent. I recently posted videos before of guys who have been very successful in clubs, and guess what, they get "rejected" too. And they don't care. It's funny to them. Some of this is also if you take it too seriously, you'll psyche yourself out. Just have fun. And if you are comfortable with yourself, none of it matters. If she says yes, that's great, if she says no, you can laugh in front of her and now you have a story to tell.


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## LonelyEnigma (Jan 7, 2007)

....


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## LonelyEnigma (Jan 7, 2007)

*Re: re: I think I'm too much of a nice guy.. too innocent*



winduptoy said:


> Innocent, nice guys are my favorite type. :yes Even if it seems like most girls want someone more "exciting," remember that there are always a few who prefer nice guys!


Cool  :heart


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## Optimistic (Nov 4, 2006)

Nice guys = not exciting = too innocent. *If* that's the case, are we to assume that jerky guys = exciting = not innocent? See the black and white in all of this?

Okay, if in being"exciting," a guy is dating lots of women, sleeping around, I don't know that we should automatically apply the label "jerk." For all we know, he might be dating and sleeping with like-minded people, or simply associating with women who wrongly assumed that the guy was in it for the long haul.

Rather than getting into the self-defeating habit of labeling yourself or others, maybe you should ask yourself what your goals are, do some introspection to understand your wants and needs, and not simply "be yourself," but stretch yourself so that you operate within your personality yet progress toward your goal, all the while showing a degree of respect for the women you come in contact with.


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## Failure (Feb 4, 2007)

Well this is my opinion. 

It's not that women don't like nice guys, it's that women don't like guys who act like door mats. Probably has somthing to do with instincts and wanting to be with an Alpha male.

Lots of shy guys get jealous and just call any guy who acts more outgoing and confident around them a jerk. Most "jerks" as shy guys would say are just average guys who act confident around women. There are some guys who act like douches but are good with words and will get the girl anyways but thats just how life is. Don't be bitter it wont help at all, just will make things worse.

Depends on how you define "nice". Guys who do everything for girls and never have an opinion of their own come off as pussies, not nice. Maybe women mean a gentleman when they say nice, but not a doormat.

I dont know though, i dont act like a doormat ever that was never my problem, and my looks arnt the problem, I'm just way too quiet and shy i don't let anyone get to know me and i dont try to get to know anyone. I don't know how to fix that though. Need to put my self out there and try. Maybe that's some of your problem too.

It takes me about 3 months of being around someone to act like my self around people and i have no opportunity to do that now in my life. Work as an electrician. Made a few friends in the military but lost touch when i got out. No girl is going to put up with me being untalkative and boring for a few months before i start acting comfortable around them. and i can can see why, not bitter about it. Just will have to get off my *** and work on opening up to people if i really want to meet someone.


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## Micronian (Nov 11, 2004)

women need to be sexually aroused. Generally, it's done through flirting (unless you're a lifeguard, construction worker, or some buff dude that doesn't wear a shirt most of the time. Then you don't even need to flirt).

Women may say that they like guys who are funny, or smart, or sweet,
but after a while, if you are not exciting the woman, it's likely that the woman feels she's not attracting you enough to take chances, or you're too nice and boring. whatever the case, she'll never be your girlfriend.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

*Re: re: I think I'm too much of a nice guy.. too innocent*



Equisgurl said:


> dont be too hard on yourself, nice guys finish first.


 :lol

I have to respectfully disagree. I think nice guys bore girls. What is there to improve on? There's no challenge.


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