# You are who you believe you are at all times



## shiznit (Nov 21, 2004)

Do not read if you refuse to move on.

Nothing bad here, just my rant on human understanding.

I have gone through the cruddy everyday lifestyle just as the majority of SAS'ers have. No matter the cause, I know too damn well, what it feels like to have no self-love on a daily basis. Self-hatred is as bad as it comes perceptively.

I have been there but I do not really care anymore because I am living a much stronger life than I ever used to. Do not get me wrong as I have much more room to grow but I am damn proud of where I am today.

This is my truth that has taught me much as a severe SA'er.

Its trust and character that define who you are.

Who you chose to be around you, allows and trains you to be who you are as a human being.

Knowing and respecting what another good one is made of, is priceless.

*Like attracts like, always. *

If I were wrong on that one, SAS wound not be as successful as it is today.

I am always to surround myself with people of positive like mentality.

No matter your age, you can surround yourself and be influenced by who you want to be around. You are mentally who you will be in the future.

Never assume you will be any different than you are today without making change today. That's how many fail long term, by making assumptions.

The fearful let their perceived fears define them. The fearful get lost as they want more in life yet assume they are not worthy to achieve it.

If you are self-absorbed, you will remain influenced by yourself and only yourself. You will kid yourself and pretend to listen to others advice, be it good or bad. In the end, you will always assume you know what is best for you. That's an aspect of a self destructive mindset.

If you blame others, including your parents, for your current situation, all you are doing is feeling sorry for yourself. There is no benefit in that. I bet many would disagree with me on that one.

Life is as simple as you allow it to be. Life is always changing. We are naturally evolving creatures. Change is a natural process. Staying "as is" is not natural. You have to work harder to keep yourself where you are today, instead of just going with the flow.

You can accept or reject the changes as they are thrown at you. You can make choices to move on just as everyone else can. If you refuse to do so, you will remain "as is" and probably live a short stressful life governed by your self-limiting laws.


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## PatheticNoLonger (Apr 27, 2007)

Thanks. Good advice. :agree


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## embers (Dec 19, 2006)

Whoa, a positive post that actually makes sense to me! Powerful stuff shiznit. In full agreement with your wise statements above. :yes


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## shiznit (Nov 21, 2004)

Thanks to the both of you for reading it through. Means a lot to get some replies. 

I need more love though from everyone else on this forum. Would really 100% like others to voice their opinions of truth, life, ect. Say what you want to say. Thanks.


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## princessorwhat (Mar 30, 2007)

I agree with all you say. have you read the book 'feel the fear and do it anyway' by susan jeffers by any chance? she presents many of these ideas as well and in fact her book has shown me for the first time that it's indeed possible to make a CHOICE about how you feel, and how you choose to live your life - actively or passively.

I can sense a hint of frustration from your post because not many people show encouragement towards your positive attitude? Or did I get that wrong? I can only say that I sometimes feel similar. Most SAers tend to be negative, extremely so sometimes. However, I think this is somehow understandable, and people just won't be able to change their mindset to positive overnight, no matter how good the advice you give them. In fact, I only changed my outlook on life when I faced the very real decision of either giving up totally, or turning my life around. I do believe that many people here will eventually adapt a positive attitude, but they will do so only when and if they feel ready. I really hope I'll see many changes like that from posts on this site...

To people with negative attitudes, who feel depressed about themselves and their lives, I can only confirm: it is true, you really can choose how you react towards life, and ultimately how you live your life. Being active is the key. Don't wait for others to knock at your door and offer you their friendship. They might be waiting for you to do the same, and then nothing will ever happen.

Also, keep in mind that your SA is not your _fault_ - but it's your _responsibility_ to overcome it. No one else can do that for you.


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## smiles (Nov 13, 2006)

shiznit said:


> Do not read if you refuse to move on.


People are not ready to move on. Its too comfortable wherever they are in their lives. Thats not a good or bad judgement call from me. I see it as a choice.

If people haven't asked, they're not ready to listen. Thats been my experience... so its useless to try and tell anyone what you think. You should tend to your own life... thats the best thing to think about and do about. You'll be also leading by example this way, which is powerful


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## Halcyon (Nov 24, 2003)

gops said:


> shiznit said:
> 
> 
> > Do not read if you refuse to move on.
> ...


i like that...

like the original post as well

don't really have anything to add worthwhile other than i agree and thanks hehe

good stuff


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## korendir (Jul 6, 2007)

I like metaphors for change, one of the great things about cognitive behavioral therapy and hypnosis is that your almost tricking yourself into hearing the truth, which most people believe to be self-evident. For example...

Its rained here in Ballymena, Northern Ireland for 2 months straight - its the wettest 2 months on record and yet every day of those two months except Saturday I've been cycling on a trainer, with my garage door open, watching the Cars go by. For some strange reason its taken me that long to realize that the people passing by in their cars aren't looking through the trees at me as they pass by and more and more I feel the depersonalization of my Social Anxiety crying out for air, like some suffocating little monster in the pit of my brain, like some tumor that is drying up and dying and being washed away by the rain, leaving only me. That little monster clings on for dear life, but like my signature says...

You have to reach for it.


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## Moonlite7189 (Aug 26, 2007)

I agree, nice post! You choose how to live your life and your attitude to face it(no one is forcing you to stay/feel miserable, and if you want to improve you have to Do something about it or make an effort to change. You won't just magically get better).. if you think positive then you will have a lot more opportunity/confidence and enjoy life.. I know it's just hard to think positive when there many negative things surrounding you, but I also think the worst enemy in SA is YOURSELF. I think if you learn to accept yourself then that's when you can be truly happy and learn to trust and accept others too and people may be drawn to you . Just my thoughts.. I just know positive thinking is very powerful :idea


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Applause to this post - sums up many of the feelings I'm currently having :clap 

I would give you love Shiznit, but I'm not that kind of guy .... :eek

Hope you are feeling a little mellower nowadays.

Ross


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## JonnyRingo (Aug 26, 2007)

I don't have anything insightful to add. I just wanted to say I really enjoyed his post. Good thoughts guys.


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## kriminator (Jul 6, 2007)

Positive post
To me though, it is just the kind of thing that tries too hard to sound deep, but it is just a word game that can be summed up as:
STOP THE SELF-LOATHING, GET OFF YER BUTT AND DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE!

Most people don't like the tough love though


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## QuietCoral (Mar 23, 2005)

i really like your post, thanks


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## Eimaj (Aug 2, 2006)

I agree, also I want to add that people need people.


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## smiles (Nov 13, 2006)

smiles said:


> shiznit said:
> 
> 
> > Do not read if you refuse to move on.
> ...


Its funny how my view has changed. I now believe that when I give advice to others, I help myself. It makes me grow.

Now, people can choose to listen or not... but it does help me. Nice post Shiznit.


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## Jocelyn (Aug 10, 2007)

Shiznit! My buddy. 
Very well written and thoughtful post.
No kicking today.


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