# I think I'm going to leave SAS forever.



## Anti depressant (Jan 29, 2011)

I don't think I belong here. Other people here have much more serious issues than I do. I've felt like I could kind of relate to other people here with my anxiety in the past, but, I realize I couldn't after I read a thread about people having trouble ordering pizza online. It seems like people have an extreme aversion to talking to people in person. They have 1,000,000 more times the problems that I have.

I think I need to go to a relationship forum. Not, a social anxiety forum. I might be better served there... I don't think this place is for me.


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## changeme77 (Feb 22, 2013)

I think you fail to understand that there are varying degrees of anxiety.


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## Anti depressant (Jan 29, 2011)

I understand that. It's just that I don't think that I can relate to the other people here with my level of anxiety versus their level of anxiety. Most of the people here have an aversion to social situations. I don't. It's not like I'm super popular or anything. But, it's like I come from a different planet.


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## SilentWitness (Dec 27, 2009)

It's called Social Anxiety Disorder.

I don't have it as bad either, but i can relate to more here than anywhere else.


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## Anti depressant (Jan 29, 2011)

I know what it's called. But, my problem is that I used to feel that I could relate to people here, but, not as much as anymore. I feel like I have better things to do in my spare time and that I should focus on dealing with those problems myself.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

People have varying degrees of SA and it also effects them in different ways. I can talk at meetings and even make sales pitches to customers. My problem is that I always feel inadequate and disconnected compared to my peers and that stops me from forming any meaningful friendships or relationships. That is what causes me anxiety.


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## SilentWitness (Dec 27, 2009)

Anti depressant said:


> I know what it's called. But, my problem is that I used to feel that I could relate to people here, but, not as much as anymore. I feel like I have better things to do in my spare time and that I should focus on dealing with those problems myself.


But why this sudden realization? You've always had the power to do whatever in your spare time, lol.

Meh, you're not the first to post about what you'd rather be doing and you won't be the last. It just sounds so patronizing, most people spend a lot of their time on the internet, not watching t.v, so this place is as good as any imo. :blank


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## Creepy Little Clown (Jun 15, 2013)

SilentWitness said:


> But why
> this sudden realization? You've always had the power to do whatever in
> your spare time, lol.
> 
> ...


+1


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## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

You have to pick through A LOT of it and just focus on what speaks to you and your issues. I saw the pizza thread-but didn't reply as I can't relate at all to that-plus I skip over LOTS of the girlfriend/boyfriend,sex,drugs stuff -and I have times when that's pretty much ALL I see here. But then,out of the blue I'll find an amazing blog entry or post that I could have written and I almost want to cry -because finding anything that remotely relates to my life experiences and thoughts beyond this place? Well,it just doesn't happen! For a minute,I feel connected and not quite so alone -ultimately,that's a lot more than I usually have in this life-so I keep coming back,mining for another bit of gold.


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## Anti depressant (Jan 29, 2011)

SilentWitness said:


> But why this sudden realization? You've always had the power to do whatever in your spare time, lol.
> 
> Meh, you're not the first to post about what you'd rather be doing and you won't be the last. It just sounds so patronizing, most people spend a lot of their time on the internet, not watching t.v, so this place is as good as any imo. :blank


Well yes... I didn't mean to be patrionizing. And by watch TV, I mean watch baseball and Netflix. I only watch TV for sports. I watch my shows on netflix and I like music. So, I'll be doing more of that.


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## sheblushed (Dec 29, 2012)

I think there are posts of all anxiety degrees on here. I mean, some people here hardly have problems anymore, just sometimes. But lol, you can just leave this website, i mean... you're right when you say you could do other things. I only use this cause i have nowhere else i guess.


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## jc90 (Jun 24, 2013)

I personally wouldn't even say that I have SA(maybe a little) at all, I can just relate to certain people on here that society likes to judge. I also come on here when I'm extremely bored and get tired of reading statuses on facebook. Life on the internet is so much fun *sarcasm*.


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

SilentWitness said:


> But why this sudden realization? You've always had the power to do whatever in your spare time, lol.
> 
> Meh, you're not the first to post about what you'd rather be doing and you won't be the last. It just sounds so patronizing, most people spend a lot of their time on the internet, not watching t.v, so this place is as good as any imo. :blank


:clap This.


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## hl9879 (Feb 12, 2013)

Me too.I'm sick of all the negativity here.I want to improve myself which will only happen if I get out and socialise in real life.Also i could be spending my time on my hobbies or doing something fun so I have something to talk about with people.It just makes me depressed being here.So I'm leaving for good.Bye


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## dontwaitupforme (Feb 23, 2013)

Just because someone else has an issue which may seem worse than yours, doesnt mean that yours isn't as equally important. This site is here to help support other people who are having a hard time and in turn you are just as worthy to seek it. Dont compare yourself to others. They know what its like to be in your shoes as about as much as you do theirs. Feel free to express your opinion.


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## OtherBrain (Jul 4, 2013)

Where is the support :no


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## JakeBoston1000 (Apr 8, 2008)

I really wouldn't say this is a support site anymore.Sometimes it can be but i think for the most part people that aren't busy enough in rl come here to kill time and talk to other people with similar problems.I usually do feel a little bit worse after coming on here though i will admit.


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## alienbird (Apr 9, 2010)

JakeBoston1000 said:


> I really wouldn't say this is a support site anymore.Sometimes it can be but i think for the most part people that aren't busy enough in rl come here to kill time and talk to other people with similar problems.I usually do feel a little bit worse after coming on here though i will admit.


Yeah, this site used to be a lot more supportive, but it has gotten too big. That's the problem.

I usually feel worse after being on here for a while too, but I just can't stay away.


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## dontwaitupforme (Feb 23, 2013)

OtherBrain said:


> Where is the support :no


True


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## trymed (Jun 28, 2013)

It's frustrating when people focus on problems instead of solutions. And much more so when other people's problems seem more important than your own. Wanting attention is perfectly normal, I want it, and need it too. I think that your reaction to site is actually a good indication that you're in the right place, but maybe it's too early for you right now to put yourself in the right position for healthy exchange of oppinions, experiences and what not. If you are patient enough you will get the right amount of attention from your peers on the site without the be littling feeling of competition you experience when you realise that there are also people who may be worse off than you are. 
"I'm leaving forever" isn't a great way to communicate tthat you'd like to be considered as much as anyone else but you feel like it's hopeless. But as you can see, there are people out there who read between the lines. Try getting in touch with what you really feel and expressing it properly and you'll find that people will be happy to have you as a Friend!


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## trymed (Jun 28, 2013)

dontwaitupforme said:


> True


The support is in the realisation that you aren't alone and you have a safe controlled opportunity to communicate with others who actually do understand... support thyselve and thou shalt be Supported! Silly. Support does not = cure. Logging on to Internet will never wish away your problems, it's just a tool that you can use to live with them in a greater degree of serenity


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

oh look, its this thread again.

good luck and goodbye.


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## dontwaitupforme (Feb 23, 2013)

trymed said:


> The support is in the realisation that you aren't alone and you have a safe controlled opportunity to communicate with others who actually do understand... support thyselve and thou shalt be Supported! Silly. Support does not = cure. Logging on to Internet will never wish away your problems, it's just a tool that you can use to live with them in a greater degree of serenity


I completely agree. Though it isn't nice to see people get bashed or cruelly mocked for confessing their problems. That seems to be a bit of an occurrence on here lately and i wouldn't class that as support at all. I'm all for trying to make changes in life to help one grow as a person. I also believe that sometimes a problem shared, really is a problem halved as at least you have somewhere to let go of something that could be eating you alive from the inside.


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## trymed (Jun 28, 2013)

dontwaitupforme said:


> I completely agree. Though it isn't nice to see people get bashed or cruelly mocked for confessing their problems. That seems to be a bit of an occurrence on here lately and i wouldn't class that as support at all. I'm all for trying to make changes in life to help one grow as a person. I also believe that sometimes a problem shared, really is a problem halved as at least you have somewhere to let go of something that could be eating you alive from the inside.


*** holes just part of life. Unfortunately


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## dontwaitupforme (Feb 23, 2013)

trymed said:


> *** holes just part of life. Unfortunately


Well I'm a firm believer in karma or fighting ones corner if needed..


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## Anti depressant (Jan 29, 2011)

This is the last post I'm going to make here and I'm not looking back. Sorry to anyone if I have come off as patronizing. I didn't mean to be. I have friends in real life so I don't need online e-friends. 

The general feeling on this forum is one of hopelessness, and, there have been times within the past 2 years I've felt hopeless. But, nowhere near to the same extent that other people on this forum do. I have very little problems interacting with other people. People here have lots of issues with it, and that's not wrong. But, even if I try to help, there's way too many people to be helped. 

I just need to go to a forum that is more with people like me, who don't have a lot of feelings of hopelessness. If I were more hopeless right now I wouldn't be saying this, but, this is how I feel after looking at some of the threads around here. I'm not looking back.


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## dontwaitupforme (Feb 23, 2013)

Anti depressant said:


> This is the last post I'm going to make here and I'm not looking back. Sorry to anyone if I have come off as patronizing. I didn't mean to be. I have friends in real life so I don't need online e-friends.
> 
> The general feeling on this forum is one of hopelessness, and, there have been times within the past 2 years I've felt hopeless. But, nowhere near to the same extent that other people on this forum do. I have very little problems interacting with other people. People here have lots of issues with it, and that's not wrong. But, even if I try to help, there's way too many people to be helped.
> 
> I just need to go to a forum that is more with people like me, who don't have a lot of feelings of hopelessness. If I were more hopeless right now I wouldn't be saying this, but, this is how I feel after looking at some of the threads around here. I'm not looking back.


I wish you well, good luck in leading a more positive life


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## trymed (Jun 28, 2013)

Anti depressant said:


> This is the last post I'm going to make here and I'm not looking back. Sorry to anyone if I have come off as patronizing. I didn't mean to be. I have friends in real life so I don't need online e-friends.
> 
> The general feeling on this forum is one of hopelessness, and, there have been times within the past 2 years I've felt hopeless. But, nowhere near to the same extent that other people on this forum do. I have very little problems interacting with other people. People here have lots of issues with it, and that's not wrong. But, even if I try to help, there's way too many people to be helped.
> 
> I just need to go to a forum that is more with people like me, who don't have a lot of feelings of hopelessness. If I were more hopeless right now I wouldn't be saying this, but, this is how I feel after looking at some of the threads around here. I'm not looking back.


Ok. Don't look back. I'm impressed by your strong sense of direction in life. Critical decision making regarding your forum of choice is so important these days. 
Ahem. Cough cough.


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## trymed (Jun 28, 2013)

I also have an announcement to make. I will never, ever again, for any reason, wear my black pumas. I have other shoes, and I just don't see why I should waste my time with a pair of shoes that only sit around and wait for me to wear them.
Please, do not try to talk me out of it. There's no point, I'll never wear them again.
Some people have very sensitive feet, but I don't mind sandals every now and then, so I'm not looking back.
I'm so sorry, I hope no one is offended but that's how it is.
I do not have sa, ocd, or head in button syndrome. Just wanted you to know that.


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## roadwarrior48 (Jun 23, 2013)

OtherBrain said:


> Where is the support :no


(You just joined SAS five minutes ago, you haven't had time to even look around for supportive messages!)


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## roadwarrior48 (Jun 23, 2013)

trymed said:


> I also have an announcement to make. I will never, ever again, for any reason, wear my black pumas. I have other shoes, and I just don't see why I should waste my time with a pair of shoes that only sit around and wait for me to wear them.
> Please, do not try to talk me out of it. There's no point, I'll never wear them again.
> Some people have very sensitive feet, but I don't mind sandals every now and then, so I'm not looking back.
> I'm so sorry, I hope no one is offended but that's how it is.
> I do not have sa, ocd, or head in button syndrome. Just wanted you to know that.


(Gosh, this is a fairly serious thread, and I am just killing myself laughing at your post:haha! You're like the kid at the back of the class that needs to be sent out to the hall!)


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## roadwarrior48 (Jun 23, 2013)

Anti depressant said:


> I don't think I belong here. Other people here have much more serious issues than I do. I've felt like I could kind of relate to other people here with my anxiety in the past, but, I realize I couldn't after I read a thread about people having trouble ordering pizza online. It seems like people have an extreme aversion to talking to people in person. They have 1,000,000 more times the problems that I have.
> 
> I think I need to go to a relationship forum. Not, a social anxiety forum. I might be better served there... I don't think this place is for me.


*******
Anti-depressant-

Okay- I've never read any posts of yrs before, other than on this thread. You've been around for 2 YEARS and all that sticks out in your mind is a guy who can't order pizza over the phone??!!!

I used to not be able to do that, I used to not be able to STAND ON OUR FRONT LAWN. I used to be able to stand on the front lawn in the DARK, then eventually couldn't do that.

BUT GUESS WHAT- I can now do TONNNNNNS of stuff. TONS of growth. I was the non-ordering-pizza-guy (or gal) years ago. Not anymore baby. Some people actually GROW here, not sit and get moldy. Those who can't grow yet- are waiting and that's okay. Some people have relapses. They need to be heard.

Ever had DEBILITATING anxiety and have never met anyone in the WORLD who was suffering from the same thing and you felt you were so alone and you BELIEVED you were completely alone and believed there was NO HOPE EVER? And you wish you were dead?

****I know a woman who could NOT leave her house years ago, now she travels the WORLD doing seminars for professionals. The subject matter- ANXIETY. Go figure that one out. Talk about varying degrees of anxiety. (Maxine- my hero.)

From what you've only posted on this thread here- you seem to be conveying that you do not even HAVE social anxiety. DO YOU? DID YOU? EVER? Or just teenage nervousness/self-consciousness? This is VERY plausible.

(I'M NOT BEING RUDE HERE- SO DON'T ANYONE ATTACK ME FOR THIS) But did you EVER have social anxiety? Some people join forums .... for who knows what reasons.

You know what? Sometimes people join and attend groups for years, and decide it's time to move on. Many of us know this. We've grown or the group (any group) has changed, we have no need for it anymore or find another means of support-

But to declare that this is 'too depressing' or whatever.... well- it wasn't too depressing for TWO YEARS while you were here! There must have been something here for ya!!!

I agree with someone else's comment- maybe it was for attention. And we DO all NEED attention, but I'm wondering if you ever had social anxiety in the first place. I think not, from what you've expressed.

I feel rather resentful, because I think (suspect) you're very young and you may not realize it but it's my guess that this forum has saved lives, as have other support groups.

But really- I'd like to know what brought you here and kept you here. I'm NOT attacking you, I'm really just wondering.

Just my opinion guys!


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## Anti depressant (Jan 29, 2011)

roadwarrior48 said:


> *******
> Anti-depressant-
> 
> Okay- I've never read any posts of yrs before, other than on this thread. You've been around for 2 YEARS and all that sticks out in your mind is a guy who can't order pizza over the phone??!!!
> ...


Ok, I think this is a legitimate question, and, I think I can answer it. To answer your question, yes, I did have a lot of social anxiety in the past. I used to be a social reject. I kept trying to go outside of my social group but I felt like it was a caste system. Two years ago I tried making new friends and when I did, they wouldn't last more than one semester, or things eventually didn't work out. This happened with individual friends and with groups of friends. I still have memories of all the rejections. Now I have my own group of friends and I am also part of a fraternity two years later.

The rejections made me stronger. I didn't give up. During the second semester of my first year at an actual College I was able to make real friends. I met two really good friends of mine who would become very close friends of mine eventually. I also still was friends with some of the people who were on and off friends with me, though, eventually that didn't work out since they were too off about it.

But, I had friends before... I just wanted more than what I had. I felt like I was only hanging out with them because I didn't have anyone else to hang out with, and, I couldn't tell whether they were good friends of mine or not (which they ended up being some of my best friends).

I also used to have a personality problem. I didn't have a personality. I was just "nice". I couldn't really fathom being anything different. I stopped trying to just be "nice" when I was talking to someone and we had similar interests in politics, and I was just asking how he was... I realized then that being nice isn't enough, and, that in order to get someone's attention, I needed to find similar interests with them.

Sometimes things didn't work out because I didn't have similar interests with them. I've realized also that they not only need to have similar interests with me, but, they need to be interested in me as a person. Truthfully, it doesn't matter if they have similar interests or not, as long as they are interested in me.

Fast forward three years ago to now, I used to be not necessarily a reject. I had some really good friends. But I hung out with jocks, and, I wanted to change my life. I wanted to find people that I could share my thoughts with and be close to.

I think I've found those people. I did have SA once, but, I don't think I have it anymore. I used to get my strength from being rejected so many times. Now I get it from my friends.

I didn't mean to come off pretentious. It's just that I want to move on from that point in time where I constantly worried about everything.

And I'm not too young... I'm 24 years old.


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## trymed (Jun 28, 2013)

roadwarrior48 said:


> (Gosh, this is a fairly serious thread, and I am just killing myself laughing at your post:haha! You're like the kid at the back of the class that needs to be sent out to the hall!)


I want to be spanked


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## Anti depressant (Jan 29, 2011)

I just anted to apologize for this thread. I apologize for the confusion, NO, I WILL NOT BE LEAVING. I however, won't resort to this forum for advice. I'll browse the threads here but I wont ask for advice. I just needed some time off here to fix some personal issues I have been facing in my life, most of which were just part of my anxiety. 

In my time away though I've definitely learned how to just live life and I think I need a balance between living life and being here, but it was wrong of me to try to dismiss everyone like that. But, I still need to live life as much as possible and deal with my anxiety issues as much as I can on my own.


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## ItsEasierToRun (Feb 2, 2013)

If OP feels that they don't belong here, that's their choice..
Just know that as others have said, there is a huge range of SA severity here..


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## marsupial (Jul 10, 2013)

i wish i had a gf so bad but because of my anxiety i will never have one. one of the biggest reasons i would like a gf is so that if i wanted to order pizza, she could do it online for me because it is so MADDENING doing it myself. also she could pay the pizza delivery guy when he got there. it is a beautiful dream but sadly it will probably remain a dream : ((((


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## roadwarrior48 (Jun 23, 2013)

trymed said:


> I want to be spanked


(DON'T make me stop this car again Trymed!!!!)


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## roadwarrior48 (Jun 23, 2013)

Anti depressant said:


> I just anted to apologize for this thread. I apologize for the confusion, NO, I WILL NOT BE LEAVING. I however, won't resort to this forum for advice. I'll browse the threads here but I wont ask for advice. I just needed some time off here to fix some personal issues I have been facing in my life, most of which were just part of my anxiety.
> 
> In my time away though I've definitely learned how to just live life and I think I need a balance between living life and being here, but it was wrong of me to try to dismiss everyone like that. But, I still need to live life as much as possible and deal with my anxiety issues as much as I can on my own.


AWESOME message!
I knew you weren't leaving! Yes- we all need a balance, especially with real life, and being hooked on the computer. If one can- the ideal would be to get ALL the love and support and fun that we can get from the life in front of us, not online. 
Online is where we go when we're not getting what we need in our real life. After all- before our INITIAL visit to SAS, what was our ORIGINAL search on google?
We were looking for something more, we were looking for someone to talk to or someone who can relate to our troubles, right? Which- IS GREAT- because we were/are reaching out for help.
Now I think you've filled up some of those gaps in your life with the real people in your life. BRAVO! That's the whole idea.
And as far and people making friends and keeping friends, whatever works out works out, whatever doesn't, doesn't.
But you sound like you're on the right road.
(But never bash the place where you came to seek help and received probably many messages of support, encouragement, etc., etc.
It sounds like you're doing the right thing! Keep it up.:yes


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## roadwarrior48 (Jun 23, 2013)

WHO THE HECK IS OP???? Am I missing something here????


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

roadwarrior48 said:


> WHO THE HECK IS OP???? Am I missing something here????


OP = Original Post (er)


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## roadwarrior48 (Jun 23, 2013)

don36 said:


> OP = Original Post (er)


:blush oops!


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Your username suggests that you might want to try a depression forum.


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## Anti depressant (Jan 29, 2011)

roadwarrior48 said:


> AWESOME message!
> I knew you weren't leaving! Yes- we all need a balance, especially with real life, and being hooked on the computer. If one can- the ideal would be to get ALL the love and support and fun that we can get from the life in front of us, not online.
> Online is where we go when we're not getting what we need in our real life. After all- before our INITIAL visit to SAS, what was our ORIGINAL search on google?
> We were looking for something more, we were looking for someone to talk to or someone who can relate to our troubles, right? Which- IS GREAT- because we were/are reaching out for help.
> ...


I'm so sorry but it's been a while and I've kept meaning to reply to this post and I feel like sometimes I do, but, I didn't respond to it yet. But yes, I think I've finally filled the holes in my life that you were talking about. I just needed some time to myself. But, since I've gone away for a little while I've learned what I needed to live life. I have great friends, and, I have anxiety but I can manage it.

I've been able to learn that not everything is always bad, like we think sometimes. Just because we think something is amiss doesn't mean it always is.

In short, I feel better now and I can now use this forum without needing to always emotionally vent to it every 5 seconds.


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## roadwarrior48 (Jun 23, 2013)

Anti depressant said:


> I'm so sorry but it's been a while and I've kept meaning to reply to this post and I feel like sometimes I do, but, I didn't respond to it yet. But yes, I think I've finally filled the holes in my life that you were talking about. I just needed some time to myself. But, since I've gone away for a little while I've learned what I needed to live life. I have great friends, and, I have anxiety but I can manage it.
> 
> I've been able to learn that not everything is always bad, like we think sometimes. Just because we think something is amiss doesn't mean it always is.
> 
> In short, I feel better now and I can now use this forum without needing to always emotionally vent to it every 5 seconds.


(That's growth!!! I'm still venting every 5 seconds!!!)


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