# Never had a bf at age 22



## soniet (Nov 5, 2017)

Sometimes I feel so sad about being 22 and never had a bf, never been on a date because I have never been asked. I especially feel sad when other women talk about their bfs. I don't think I am ugly but I am not the type of girl that has men flocking to her, which means that if I ever want a date I'll have to put myself out there. I get really scared to put myself out there. I have done so a few times by joining an organization on campus but the men practically ignored me. So putting myself out there has gone really badly for me (but I haven't done online dating). I mean......I am shy. Does anyone have any advice for me?


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Aww no rush. Just work on yourself, guys will come. Focus on your career, hobbies, etc.


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## noonecares (Oct 12, 2017)

Wow, this is rare. I mean, why it's so uncommon to find girls who are over 20s that has neved dated before and why it's easy to find guys that are over 20s that has neved dated before? Are there any scientific explanations for this? Good luck for you anyways


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I only ever get any attention from men if I go searching for it. So only online dating and nightclubs have ever worked for me. 

I think that's just the way it is if you are a bit frumpy looking and shy on top of it. If you are frumpy but outgoing, you can meet men through friends/social circle. Or if you are shy but good looking, men will go after you in various situations/locations.

I saw this quite a few of the women in the social anxiety meetup group I went to. Met a few virgins in their late 20s. I also met women who only had 1 or 2 dating experiences and had been celibate for many years. Shy, awkward women who weren't very pretty and were not into makeup or fashion much at all. Very plain.


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## AwkwardKat (Jun 9, 2013)

I'm in the same boat. 22, never had a bf in my life. No dating. Nothing.

I'm a disease


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

noonecares said:


> Wow, this is rare. I mean, why it's so uncommon to find girls who are over 20s that has neved dated before and why it's easy to find guys that are over 20s that has neved dated before? Are there any scientific explanations for this? Good luck for you anyways


Since boys/guys require to look like Calvin Klein models, in order to even have the smallest chance of getting a girlfriend at all. That's why it's hopeless for me, lol.


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## Throwaway157728 (Oct 22, 2017)

soniet said:


> Sometimes I feel so sad about being 22 and never had a bf, never been on a date because I have never been asked. I especially feel sad when other women talk about their bfs. I don't think I am ugly but I am not the type of girl that has men flocking to her, which means that if I ever want a date I'll have to put myself out there. I get really scared to put myself out there. I have done so a few times by joining an organization on campus but the men practically ignored me. So putting myself out there has gone really badly for me (but I haven't done online dating). I mean......I am shy. Does anyone have any advice for me?


I'm going to be honest with you, if guys aren't asking you out and they're ignoring you, it probably means they don't find you physically appealing enough. No man has ever asked you out? Guys keep ignoring you? This means you're not registering on their attractiveness radar.

Maybe it's because you don't dress like a girl, maybe it's because you're overweight, maybe it's because you have a resting bch face, maybe it's because you look sickly and unhealthy and this signals guys to stay away.

Whatever reason it is, if you want a boyfriend and to start dating, your focus should be on making yourself more appealable to men so they will start asking you out.

Are you overweight? Most guys don't like overweight girls, sorry to burst your bubble but it's true. You may never be a stick figure but you will look so much better if you start to eat more healthy, go the gym on a regular basis, and do aerobic exercises. What's stopping you from going?

How do you dress? I'm not saying you should dress like h0e going to the nightclub, but you should take some time to try and look good.

Another important thing is to smile, look friendly, look approachable. Guys are going to be too scared to approach you if you're giving them a fuk off look.


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## Kandice (Jan 26, 2017)

I'm 25 and I've never had a boyfriend.

Why do you think you never had one? What do you mean you joined an organization at school but men ignored you? What kind of organization was it? 

I think online dating may help. You can chat with people until you get comfortable with them enough to go out on a date.


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## Kandice (Jan 26, 2017)

noonecares said:


> Wow, this is rare. I mean, why it's so uncommon to find girls who are over 20s that has neved dated before and why it's easy to find guys that are over 20s that has neved dated before? Are there any scientific explanations for this? Good luck for you anyways


No its not rare, there are just many women over their 20s who never had a romantic relationship just as there are men. The difference is that men usual go on this whinny, *****y rampage about it and create a scene. Whereas women tend to keep that to themselves or genuinely try to fix the problem.


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## Sinatra (Mar 13, 2013)

I'm in the same boat. 21 never had a gf. Don't stress out about it too much, now is the time to perfect yourself so that when you do meet that special guy out there he won't have a choice but to fall for you. 

I know it's hard being alone all the time, but stay hopeful and positive, don't let the negative thinking consume you.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

41 and in the same boat. I can think of many, many reasons guys don't want me, though. Some have already been suggested in this thread. (Always encouraging to see guys discussing unwanted women like me...)

Therefore I have no advice, I'm afraid.


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## noonecares (Oct 12, 2017)

Kandice said:


> No its not rare, there are just many women over their 20s who never had a romantic relationship just as there are men. The difference is that men usual go on this whinny, *****y rampage about it and create a scene. Whereas women tend to keep that to themselves or genuinely try to fix the problem.


Yes, I totally see your point. It's just that in my opinion the dating scenario looks easier for girls than guys. My sister, for example, has lots of guys approaching her, while me on the other hand, not a single girl has approached me or anything. Just my opinion, like I said before.


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## Kandice (Jan 26, 2017)

noonecares said:


> Yes, I totally see your point. It's just that in my opinion the dating scenario looks easier for girls than guys. My sister, for example, has lots of guys approaching her, while me on the other hand, not a single girl has approached me or anything. Just my opinion, like I said before.


That's all it is, just your opinion based off you and your sister. You really should be saying, dating is easier for your sister than it is for you. You can't deduce anything else from that. Not all gals are like your sister and not all guys are like you.


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## CloudChaser (Nov 7, 2013)

If you live within 30 miles of me I will go on a date with you.


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## LonelyLurker (Sep 24, 2016)

soniet said:


> Sometimes I feel so sad about being 22 and never had a bf, never been on a date because I have never been asked. I especially feel sad when other women talk about their bfs. I don't think I am ugly but I am not the type of girl that has men flocking to her, which means that if I ever want a date I'll have to put myself out there. I get really scared to put myself out there. I have done so a few times by joining an organization on campus but the men practically ignored me. So putting myself out there has gone really badly for me (but I haven't done online dating). I mean......I am shy. Does anyone have any advice for me?


Try not to dwell on what you haven't had thus far, think about how to increase the probability of getting it in the future instead.

Do you feel that you are worthy of being found attractive (I don't just mean in terms of looks)? If not that would help as you'll be more receptive to signs of interest and won't try to explain them away.

Sitting back and waiting isn't the best advice if it's something you care about obtaining (if you're not that bothered then it's fine I guess), it could happen of course but it's more likely if you're willing to make it happen.

Obviously anxiety will be a factor but the more you can put yourself out there the greater your chances.

Asking people you like>only befriending people you like>only talking to people you like>only being around people you like>nothing.

Only you will now what you feel capable of and you may not need to do all (or any) of those things but it would increase your chances.

Good luck.


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## LDN (Nov 4, 2017)

There'll be guys out there who do find you attractive. It may just be you haven't crossed paths with them yet/you're focusing your energy/looking in the wrong places. What type of organisation did you join? Maybe it wasn't the right kind of environment for you. It's hard to put yourself out there like you say, but just keep on pushing yourself


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## pillarsofcreation (Sep 14, 2017)

Same situation, but I am 20. 

Guys never approach me, probably I don't dress very well/fashionable and I don't wear makeup (so I am ugly).
Also because I am shy and they think I am boring. Just guesses.


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## Ticking clock (Nov 6, 2017)

Don't worry. I was around 25 before I had a gf. It has its own issues, and sometimes I want to be alone again. I had girls interested sometimes when I was younger, but I just had no interest. Didn't think I was good enough, and my head was all over the place and thinking about other stuff. Most people who base their life on whether they're dating or hot will never understand. And these people can react to someone who doesn't date in nasty ways, like calling them names and judging.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kandice (Jan 26, 2017)

Clarence said:


> because females have hope, guys have zero hope.
> 
> living alone your whole life is a depressing
> thought.


You don't know anything about females or males, that's just said. Anyways, that sort of behavior is inexcusable. Just because you have a penis doesn't give you the right to **** talk others.

This might be news to you, but there are a lot of guys who are not pathetic like you and who knows how to behave themselves. There are a lot of guys on this site who don't participate in such erratic behavior so don't try to take other men down with you. They don't need that.

Here's what you should be saying: YOU feel like you have zero hope and YOU are afraid of living alone the rest of your life.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

_*Females*_


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## Kandice (Jan 26, 2017)

Clarence said:


> Oh please, you are a anti-white feminist.


LMAO, look at you moving on to empty insults.


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## SamanthaStrange (Jan 13, 2015)




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## RickandMorty100years (Oct 6, 2017)

LMAO looks like some incels are getting riled up


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## RickandMorty100years (Oct 6, 2017)

Clarence said:


> Whats wrong with being a incel? There is nothing wrong with me, so why would i blame myself? I blame feminism.


because incels are miserable men that blame all of their problems on everything but themselves just like you're doing right now. Your problems are your own take responsibility for them


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## RickandMorty100years (Oct 6, 2017)

Clarence said:


> One day incels will realise their true strength and numbers and will overthrow this oppressive feminist system.


:rofl

nice trolling


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## Johnny Mac (Oct 31, 2017)

Can anyone else imagine a 4th Reich scenario but with incels? I'm picturing it in my head and I'm having a bit of a laugh.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Clarence said:


> Hypocrite.
> 
> Why is it okay for women (like teuhti88) to feel sorry about themself but not guys?
> 
> She moans every week about being a virgin.


It's so adorable how I earnestly replied to your thread about mean things others have said to us...and now here you are, doing the same, bullying other users. Guess you were seeking fuel for the fire, eh?

Nice how things come full circle, isn't it? :lol


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## RickandMorty100years (Oct 6, 2017)

Johnny Mac said:


> Can anyone else imagine a 4th Reich scenario but with incels? I'm picturing it in my head and I'm having a bit of a laugh.


"Put all women in concentration camps because they won't have sex with me"

:rofl


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## RickandMorty100years (Oct 6, 2017)

Clarence said:


> Hypocrite.
> 
> Why is it okay for women (like teuhti88) to feel sorry about themself but not guys?
> 
> She moans every week about being a virgin.


From what I've seen tehuti88 doesn't blame all men for her problems like you do with women

Also never said you couldn't complain just pointing out that it's really stupid to blame a whole sex for your inability to get a gf


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

Take advantage of it and focus on stuff that you can control. Finish school, get started with a nice career. Find some cool hobbies and become super awesome in more ways than one. 

I didn't date much in my twenties either. I dated a few girls, but obviously nothing that lasted too long. I actually look back on it and wish I didn't put so much concern into it.


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## Lohikaarme (Aug 28, 2013)

Hey, I'd like to ask everyone not to feed the trolls please. If you think that someone sounds like a troll then please just report them, it makes our job of handling them much easier.

Thanks for understanding.


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## AwkwardKat (Jun 9, 2013)

Throwaway157728 said:


> soniet said:
> 
> 
> > Sometimes I feel so sad about being 22 and never had a bf, never been on a date because I have never been asked. I especially feel sad when other women talk about their bfs. I don't think I am ugly but I am not the type of girl that has men flocking to her, which means that if I ever want a date I'll have to put myself out there. I get really scared to put myself out there. I have done so a few times by joining an organization on campus but the men practically ignored me. So putting myself out there has gone really badly for me (but I haven't done online dating). I mean......I am shy. Does anyone have any advice for me?
> ...


That's just It! I suffer from resting b face.

I've always been self conscious about it, especially when random men look at me and say, "smiiiillleeee" Or "cheer up!"

And if I try to force myself to smile, I end up looking like a creep.

Welp. I guess that means I'll be forever alone.


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## Throwaway157728 (Oct 22, 2017)

AwkwardKat said:


> That's just It! I suffer from resting b face.
> 
> I've always been self conscious about it, especially when random men look at me and say, "smiiiillleeee" Or "cheer up!"
> 
> ...


Wait so your issue is just suffering from resting bch face and you're concluding you're going to be forever alone simply because you look unfriendly?

Do you realize how irrational you sound?

You're basically saying, well there's nothing I can do to change my situation, I guess i'm going to be forever alone. When in reality, if all you have is resting bch face, that's so easy to work around.

And you change that by being friendly to people, laughing at others jokes, making others feel welcome, talking more girly and feminine. Anything to make yourself seem more approachable to guys.


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## AwkwardKat (Jun 9, 2013)

Throwaway157728 said:


> AwkwardKat said:
> 
> 
> > That's just It! I suffer from resting b face.
> ...


When it comes to making friends, I do all of the above around the girls at work. To the point where I feel like I'm sucking up to them just so they can like me and be my friend. Does it work? No. They still think I'm weird and avoid me most of the time.

I haven't tried the above with guys because I'm very timid around them. Maybe they would react differently..?


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## SimGishel (Jul 30, 2017)

Please don't feel bad, I didn't have my first relationship until I was 22 so it could be just around the corner for you. Just keep trying and don't be afraid to ask someone out if you're interested in them.


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## Red2N (Oct 7, 2017)

I think I'd still be single had it not been for internet dating. Definitely give it a go. YES - you'll get plenty unwanted messages from creeps, but stick with it. Good luck!


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## jelota (Dec 1, 2017)

i'd like to think that the universe only gives you what you can handle or at least that's what i've been telling myself so maybe you just aren't ready for a relationship or maybe it just isn't the right time but when it is, it'll come naturally and it shouldn't be something you have to worry about


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## JaegerLover217 (Feb 23, 2016)

noonecares said:


> Wow, this is rare. I mean, why it's so uncommon to find girls who are over 20s that has neved dated before and why it's easy to find guys that are over 20s that has neved dated before? Are there any scientific explanations for this? Good luck for you anyways


because girls don't have to be the initiators


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## noonecares (Oct 12, 2017)

JaegerLover217 said:


> because girls don't have to be the initiators


It's time for this to change, maybe like 10 years from now


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## Enochian (Feb 17, 2015)

Same here. I'm 22, never had a "real" girlfriend, just online girlfriends. You already did the right thing, by putting yourself out there. If men aren't approaching you, it might be something as simple as you needing to change your body language. You may be coming off as "closed off" or "nervous" without realizing it. There's plenty of videos on YouTube that can help you out with that:






Good luck.


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## JaegerLover217 (Feb 23, 2016)

noonecares said:


> It's time for this to change, maybe like 10 years from now


it sure is, it's like why can't girls come after guys for once right? as much as I would love if it the burden didn't always fall on the guy, I don't see it ever changing


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## Chevy396 (Jul 10, 2017)

JaegerLover217 said:


> it sure is, it's like why can't girls come after guys for once right? as much as I would love if it the burden didn't always fall on the guy, I don't see it ever changing


As much as I hear women complaining about being hit on (harrassed) all the time, we might have it better than you think. I doubt that women would just make up things to complain about. Imagine if you had a really gross creepy girl stalking you, would it be worth it just to be able to be lazy at dating for a while?

Sent from my Moto G (5) Plus using Tapatalk


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## noonecares (Oct 12, 2017)

solutionx said:


> Imagine if you had a really gross creepy girl stalking you, would it be worth it just to be able to be lazy at dating for a while?
> 
> Sent from my Moto G (5) Plus using Tapatalk


I'm sure you are one guy that is/was successful with women at some point of your life, that's why you think this way. Say that to a guy like me and tons of others guys that has never had a gf before, that would be like a dream


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

noonecares said:


> I'm sure you are one guy that is/was successful with women at some point of your life, that's why you think this way. Say that to a guy like me and tons of others guys that has never had a gf before, that would be like a dream


Your talking about women and dating really bothers me. Instead of complaining and bragging about being single, you could also start to invest time in hobbies, the gym or whatever you like.

Complaining won't help you, actually doing something will.


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## noonecares (Oct 12, 2017)

EarthDominator said:


> Your talking about women and dating really bothers me. Instead of complaining and bragging about being single, you could also start to invest time in hobbies, the gym or whatever you like.
> 
> Complaining won't help you, actually doing something will.


There are other guys on this site complaining too, I think your problem is me


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

noonecares said:


> There are other guys on this site complaining too, I think your problem is me


I haven't seen any other guy complaining like you do, and my problem isn't with you, it's your attitude towards a certain situation.

I'm telling you again, actually doing something worls out better than complaining.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

One track mind.


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