# Asked a girl out for the first time.



## The Sleeping Dragon (Sep 29, 2011)

I know it's pathatic at my age. But it's something. I don't think she wants to though. She was pretty vague about it. Or I was and she didn't understood what I meant. Either way I ****ed it up I guess with the girl I like for almost a year. Maybe next time. I don't want to get to negative. But still I have said to myself before even if she wouldn't be interested this would be a positive thing for me. For I stepped up. I did something. I made moves. Even if I failed I won.

I guess I'm just really sensitive. I feel horrible. And I guess it's a turnoff for a guy to be really sensitive.


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## droen (Jul 27, 2010)

Like you already said, even if it didn't turn out the way you hoped it's still a plus that you even asked in the first place. :clap :yes Sometimes rejection is just part of this process and you seem to have a good attitude about it. Hopefully, it'll get a little easier from here. (Asking and dealing with the occasional rejection)


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## itsjustin (Oct 21, 2011)

Way to go. Nothing to be afraid of next time!


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## The Sleeping Dragon (Sep 29, 2011)

droen said:


> Like you already said, even if it didn't turn out the way you hoped it's still a plus that you even asked in the first place. :clap :yes Sometimes rejection is just part of this process and you seem to have a good attitude about it. Hopefully, it'll get a little easier from here. (Asking and dealing with the occasional rejection)


Well it's been terrible I have a lot of anxiety now that I usually wouldn't have. I felt awful the whole day at work. And she was right in my view too.

I still hope that I haven't ruined it. So it's not over yet if I can help it.

That having said when I have to move on I wonder what will happen. I don't meet women that often. Just at work I guess. And I can't go around asking them all out. I mean I would just be another one of those guys. I'm not like that. I can't make myself fall for a girl.

So if this doesn't pan out I will probebly fall back to my old routine. Though I'm trying to break it. I think I will go and start running. Getting in shape and such. Not that it matters, my face will still be the same. And I have a receding hairline, doesn't help either.

So while I still count it as a triumph I fear there won't be a next time for a loooooooong time. This is really going to kill me some day. Not soon. But some day.


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## Donnie in the Dark (Mar 15, 2011)

The Sleeping Dragon said:


> I know it's pathatic at my age. But it's something. I don't think she wants to though. She was pretty vague about it. Or I was and she didn't understood what I meant. Either way I ****ed it up I guess with the girl I like for almost a year. Maybe next time. I don't want to get to negative. But still I have said to myself before even if she wouldn't be interested this would be a positive thing for me. For I stepped up. I did something. I made moves. Even if I failed I won.
> 
> I guess I'm just really sensitive. I feel horrible. And I guess it's a turnoff for a guy to be really sensitive.


 It isn't pathetic at all, it's great. 
If you aren't sure if you made it clear, maybe ask clearly once more before giving up? Hard I know.
And you are right, just asking is the important thing. I'm planning to tackle that this week but we will see....


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## The Sleeping Dragon (Sep 29, 2011)

Well I haven't asked yet. I don't know if it's to upfront to ask if it was a rejection or not. Or maybe I shouldn't ask it that way?

I've got the feeling she is ignoring/avoiding me. She doesn't talk to me while she does to others. Though not much, she is shy. She doesn't look at me when she walks by. She doesn't say hi the next day. I always say hi. Whenever I try and talk to her she responds and than get out of my vicinity.

So either she is super shy or she hates my guts. I mean I am trying to stop thinking negatively but maybe she just was creeped out by me being interested in her.  I mean girls don't like it when a non-so-attractive guy looks at them right? Maybe it's just in my mind. I even complimented her, and that's a first. I'm to shy I know. 

I feel like I would make things ever worse if I would ask what she meant. If I ever knew how to find the words that is. "Hi, did you rejected me saturday?" :flush

Why do I have this feeling that she hates me? Maybe I'm sending signals or something because I think she hates me so responds to it thinking I hate her for not saying yes? 

To much speculation. I just need to ask, I know. I didn't had a chance to talk to her along anyway. And the way things are going that won't happen again, ever. Broken heart here. lol


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## wemolofraf (Apr 25, 2013)

Very entertaining thread, keep us updated with new events as they unfold!

Personally, I've been through something very similar, and it was equally agonizing. It happened nearly a year and half ago, but i'm still not completely over it, and don't know if I'll be until something else comes along to replace it.

She was a great friend, but when I tried to take it to the next level, she got distant very quick. She never replied to the note I left her on her desk, nor texts or voice mails (albeit, one was drunk..I felt really dumb about that in retrospect, but it was the first time I had ever gotten drunk).

I really liked her, but was perfectly willing to concede she didn't want a relationship with me. That was FINE, if only I KNEW that. I never found out; no catharsis would be had.

Ultimately, I think that's what has frustrated me ever since, and thus, why I can't forget about it. I just don't KNOW how she felt. Like you, I've tried to commend myself on finally taking that step and admitting my feelings to someone. But ultimately it means nothing if you don't learn anything about yourself. So that's what i'm grappling with.

While it's easy to say this now, I suppose the one thing I wish I had done differently was bluntly ask her all the questions I had and see if she answered. That's the one thing I didn't do, and you still have a chance to do. If you can get yourself to do that, you might have all your lower-case Js dotted and Ts crossed for you to be able to reconcile this chronicle in your amazing trivial life!


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## The Sleeping Dragon (Sep 29, 2011)

Well I did it. I asked her. I didn't really explain that with 'having a drink' didn't necessarily meant alcohol, in the heat of the moment it slipped my mind. 

But I did say if she thought about what I asked saturday that we 'could do something together'. So in a way I did say that I was just asking her on a date. Right? She declined. Anyway this was my second change sort of so I can't ask her again. I'm confused about her though. I really thought she was looking at me. Maybe she was looking if I was still looking. Maybe it was all just me being a fool. Oh well. Can't blaim me for falling in love with her. It certainly was not a simple crush. 

The great thing about this is that it was reletively easy to talk to her. I just said to myself: "Ok so big deal if she rejects you. You will be in the exact same situation. Exept that you finally are going to be the guy you want to be. And if she want to date you it's even better. Win win." 

She was alone for a second after work and I just took the moment and talked to her. Even though I kinda stuttered the first sentence. That was brutal man haha. I can even laugh about it. I didn't felt bad even though I'm disapointed don't get me wrong. And I still think she's nice. So it will take some time to get over her.

So that's it. I overcame one of my greatest issues. And now it will all be easier the next time. And more easier the next time still. But I worry about tomorrow. I hope she won't treat me like **** or ignore me. She is a kind person so I don't think she will. But still it's not like I know her like the back of my hand. I on the other hand will just treat her like I always did. I hope I didn't distroy our workrelation. But I will try from now on to not look at her. God I hope I didn't make her uncomfortable all this time... That would be horrible. Not looking forward to tomorrow. Meh. 

So that's that. Chapter closed. She declined. Turns out she just thinks I'm cool but nothing more. (Why else invite me to her birthday party?) The world didn't end. Chapter closed. Thanks for all the support.


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## i got this (Apr 25, 2013)

Bravo. Go back up to her and ask again but be more explicit about it.


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## The Sleeping Dragon (Sep 29, 2011)

i got this said:


> Bravo. Go back up to her and ask again but be more explicit about it.


Are you kidding me? She declined. Asking her again would be pushy. It's over man. I don't want to be that guy. And it's at work. I don't want to get the label creep at work. Besides I think she got what I meant. Hell now that I mention it we were talking - with a few other collegues - at lunch and we were discussing alcohol as it happens. And I mentioned that I hardly drink ever. So she knows I'm not a heavy drinker.

No it seems not wise to me to ask again. I learned my lesson and that's it. She's not interested. And if she is maybe she will let me know. So I will at least let this cool down for a LONG time and start asking other girls out if I get a chance. (If I get a change I hardly meet new girls.)


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## Donnie in the Dark (Mar 15, 2011)

You did really great. I'm sure you can still be on good terms, and you can look out for the next opportunity, knowing that you have the courage to ask. 
I will try to take inspiration from you because I can't/won't ask......


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## Freshynwhite (Mar 28, 2013)

Good for you man. I dream of asking a girl out within the next 10 years aswell, tho right now i really cant see why anyone would ever go out with me and thats holding me back, so what you did is quite amazing to me, hope you will find a girl to take out in the near future


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## The Sleeping Dragon (Sep 29, 2011)

I hardly spoke to her today. I felt terrible just looking at her. So I hardly did. I'm sure she noticed something was up with me. Or maybe not. I'm very confused why she ever invited me to the party. I hope she doesn't think I'm a jerk now.


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## droen (Jul 27, 2010)

You simply asked her out for a drink. You didn't do anything to make her think you are a jerk. She probably just feels awkward much like yourself (For different reasons of course)


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## The Sleeping Dragon (Sep 29, 2011)

I can see the truth in that now. Was just having the blues. I'm pretty OK now actually. Thanks man.


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## bentleyjazzie (Apr 27, 2013)

It could be worse, TSD. You could be me. I haven't touched a woman since......1994. I expend a considerable amount of daily energy fantasizing about loving someone and being loved, but truth is I both hate myself so much and fear being around people to the degree that I seriously doubt I could make any woman happy. It's been painful in reaching that conclusion, but I've come to it with a very heavy heart. Truth is, I'm better on my own because, in essence, I'm unlovable.


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## Lushiro (Apr 26, 2013)

I don't believe it's pathetic at any age. Good work though. You did it once, wich means you can do it again!


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## simbo (Dec 31, 2012)

Well done man, whatever the outcome I'm proudddddd! small steps at a time :')


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