# Ladies- Is It A Turnoff If A Guy You're Interested In Has Slept With A Lot Of Women?



## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

I've seen the opposite asked to guys before so I was just curious if it had any effect on girls if they find out their BF or a guy they like has slept around a whole lot. Is it a turnoff? Turn on? Indifferent?


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

It is a turn off.


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## rlo1995 (Jul 29, 2014)

depends on the person.. but for me its a turnoff if the person has slept w/ 5+.. some likes experienced dudes though..


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## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

I have always been indifferent to that kind of thing.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

I have slept with my fair share of women and when the topic comes up, they don't seem to mind.


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## Caramelito (Apr 6, 2014)

To me it's a turn off.


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

Yeah, it's a huge turn off.


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## tidbit (May 13, 2015)

Depends on "a lot" more than 5? And was it just a casual thing, or were they relationships. If it's just a casual sex thing, then that's a problem. Actual relationships, and no more than 5 people, I don't really have a problem with it. Either way, the guy better be getting tested regularly before he gets anywhere near me.


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## Nilufar (Jan 17, 2014)

If you consider him for a relationship then yes... Otherwise I don't care. This is Europe, you are free to do with your life whatever you want.


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## Genos (Dec 17, 2014)

Yeah, I'd be disappointed.


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## Aribeth (Jan 14, 2012)

I don't know... it would probably bother me if I was to be in a relationship with him. But for a fwb, I wouldn't care.


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## saya2077 (Oct 6, 2013)

For me it would be a turn off, but its just because of my personal beliefs. I think sex should be with someone you're in a serious relationship with only (not trying to say you shouldnt. Thats just my view for myself). Sleeping around is not and will never be my thing, and I'd rather be with someone who felt similar to me about sex and relationships. It'd be more comfortable and understanding.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

I don't care.


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## starsfire (May 11, 2015)

If i knew he was clean. Then a turn on. Theres something about knowing hes made multiple #s of women / men moan. i think its hott.


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

How often does this subject even coming up in the dating world? I have never once been asked how many women I've been with. Nor have I ever asked how many dudes she has been with. I suppose some dudes get a egotistical thrill out of sharing their 'number'. I would think that would be more of a turnoff than the actual number. ?


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## losthismarbles (Jul 5, 2014)

Everyone is saying having slept with a lot of girls is a turn off. Does that make me super attractive then? =D
Well everyone except @starfire >=(


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## GGTFM (Oct 7, 2014)

starsfire said:


> If i knew he was clean. Then a turn on. Theres something about knowing hes made multiple #s of women / men moan. i think its hott.


I agree. The first time would probably be way less awkward as well. And they could probably teach me a few things as well. Are you bi? Of course though, you dont have to answer that.

It honestly wouldnt be a turn off for me. I don't judge others on their past, as most people in this world have the ability to change.


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## starsfire (May 11, 2015)

GGTFM said:


> I agree. The first time would probably be way less awkward as well. And they could probably teach me a few things as well. Are you bi? Of course though, you dont have to answer that.
> 
> It honestly wouldnt be a turn off for me. I don't judge others on their past, as most people in this world have the ability to change.


Yeah im bi. But i havent really dated to many females.


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## starsfire (May 11, 2015)

losthismarbles said:


> Everyone is saying having slept with a lot of girls is a turn off. Does that make me super attractive then? =D
> Well everyone except @*starfire* >=(


Not sleeping with a lot of people is a turn on to.


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## losthismarbles (Jul 5, 2014)

starsfire said:


> Not sleeping with a lot of people is a turn on to.


Lies. You're just saying that to be nice. :crying:


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## starsfire (May 11, 2015)

I used to have this friend who would only date virgins or guys that didnt have that many partners. So she could teach them how she liked things done.


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

I don't care. It almost always makes them better at things


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## StaceyLaine14 (Apr 11, 2015)

I worry more about STIs. I'm curious to know why he's been with a lot of women and what kinds of women he's been with. If I come to the conclusion he just has a high sex drive and is suave enough to bed a lot of women, definite turn on. Inexperienced men are also a turn on, but for completely different reasons.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

Grand said:


> For me, it's a turn off if a guy has slept with even one woman.


I wish girls with that mindset existed where I live, all the girls laugh at me for being inexperienced, kinda messed with my head abit. Had a small awkward chat with my mom even about it one time, she told me not to worry and just wait for someone special, she didn't even start dating or met my dad til she was in her 30s. At the moment I'm just focusing on work, saving money and playing games with what few guy friends I have. I practice talking to girls in real life with the goal of making at least a friend but it hasn't happened just yet, interests are too different plus I often run out of topics to discuss.


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

This is something that tends to adjust with experience. If you have little to no experience, you probably feel weird about someone having a lot of experience. If you have moderate/a lot of experience, you don't mind that much or don't care at all. Obviously it's not like this in every case, but a lot of people are gonna feel very awkward and insecure being with an experienced person if they are not experienced themselves. It's natural.


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

gopherinferno said:


> This is something that tends to adjust with experience. If you have little to no experience, you probably feel weird about someone having a lot of experience. If you have moderate/a lot of experience, you don't mind that much or don't care at all. Obviously it's not like this in every case, but a lot of people are gonna feel very awkward and insecure being with an experienced person if they are not experienced themselves. It's natural.


I think the word experience is highly misused when it comes to this. "Practice" it is not necessary if you are naturally good at it and have some imagination and/or knowledge.


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## ronnie72 (Jun 3, 2014)

Definitely a turn off


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## feels (Jun 18, 2010)

No, it's not a big deal.


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

Depends how much.
If he has had over 300 sex partners a year for the last few years, then it's a turn off.
If a 30 year old guy has had 300 sex partner in his life it's ok. Still a lot, but not exactly a turn off.


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## Bbpuff (Sep 1, 2010)

Big turn off.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

sajs said:


> I think the word experience is highly misused when it comes to this. "Practice" it is not necessary if you are naturally good at it and have some imagination and/or knowledge.


Practice doesn't always make someone a good lover, but it's definitely not irrelevant. Having sex isn't like riding a bike.


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

probably offline said:


> Practice doesn't always make someone a good lover, but it's definitely not irrelevant. Having sex isn't like riding a bike.


Mixed signals there, first part you seem to agree, then not, and then agree again ?. Don't try to mess with my mind swedish girl.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

If he has std's and children then yes. If no to both of those, I don't care how many times he's had sex.


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## Pompeii (Aug 25, 2013)

Don't care.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Evo1114 said:


> How often does this subject even coming up in the dating world?


I was wondering this, too. It seems rather redundant - along the lines of a criminal past, or having slept with a prostitute, or being a deadbeat father who's estranged from their child.

OK, it's a turn-off, but how would you actually know about it? It's not the type of thing you advertise on a dating site profile or anything~

_"I've slept with 134 different girls; I know my way around a bedroom - talk to me, and you could be #135!!"_


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## veron (Apr 29, 2009)

Evo1114 said:


> How often does this subject even coming up in the dating world?





Just Lurking said:


> I was wondering this, too. It seems rather redundant - along the lines of a criminal past, or having slept with a prostitute, or being a deadbeat father who's estranged from their child.


It might not come up if you're just casually dating someone. But when things start getting serious, ie. you think about possibly spending the rest of your life with this person, wouldn't you be curious about something like this? I'd be more surprised if a boyfriend never asked me about my past dating experiences, than if he did.

Also, your past love life is not something shameful (comparable to a criminal past, sleeping with a prostitute...), so why would it be taboo to talk about it?


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## Amorphousanomaly (Jun 20, 2012)

A little experience helps but high mileage is gross.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

veron said:


> It might not come up if you're just casually dating someone. But when things start getting serious, ie. you think about possibly spending the rest of your life with this person, wouldn't you be curious about something like this?


Would asking the question like that change some of the answers in here? A lot of girls don't seem interested in a guy who's "been around the block", but what if that truth doesn't come out until you're seriously involved with him?



veron said:


> Also, your past love life is not something shameful (comparable to a criminal past, sleeping with a prostitute...), so why would it be taboo to talk about it?


Well, the comparison was towards having no way of knowing about it unless they come out and say it.

I don't think it's shameful, either. You've been with whoever, whenever, however many times - no matter to me, unless you're a walking list of diseases for it.

Girls are certainly _taught_ to feel shame about it. For guys, it's the other way around - _but_ the "experienced" guy would also know how to smooth-talk and how to say just the right things (which, judging by the responses in here, would not include his sexual past).

If you find yourself being swept off your feet by a guy charming you, saying all the right things, having an answer for everything, etc... it may be because he's done it before... many times over~

A few interesting stats:
- 28% of males and 10% of females ages 25-44 have had 15 or more partners in their lifetime
- 9.5% of males and 4.6% of females ages 20-24 have had 4 or more partners in the past 12 months

(I'd like to see some information on _"or more"_.)

http://www.macleans.ca/news/canada/are-we-blushing-yet/


> Canadian men say they average 23 partners in a lifetime, it showed, compared with 21 in Spain, 19 in Italy, 17 in France, and 13 in the United States. Canadian women say they have 10 partners, also more than their counterparts in those countries.
> 
> Austrian men said they had an incredible 29 sexual partners *on average*, making them the most prolific lovers on the planet.


These don't compare to Wilt Chamberlain, who claimed to have slept with 20,000 different women in his lifetime.



> According to Rod Roddewig, a contemporary of Wilt's, Chamberlain documented his love life using a daytimer. Every time Chamberlain went to bed with a different girl, he put a check in his daytimer. Over a 10 day period, there were 23 checks in the book, which would be a rate of 2.3 women per day. Chamberlain divided that number in half, to be conservative and to correct for degrees of variation. He then multiplied that number by the number of days he had been alive at the time minus 15 years. That was how the 20,000 number came into existence.


I wonder how often the second and third 'women of the day' knew about the earlier ones (or maybe they were just all in 'one session').


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

You just don't tell them.


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## Dehabilitated (May 31, 2015)

How many men on this site have to worry about this...


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## veron (Apr 29, 2009)

Just Lurking said:


> Would asking the question like that change some of the answers in here? A lot of girls don't seem interested in a guy who's "been around the block", but what if that truth doesn't come out until you're seriously involved with him?


Not quite sure what your post was about, lol. All I said was that it's perfectly normal to be curious about and discuss past dating experiences with your partner (because some people were apparently surprised to learn that this is common).

While having many past partners is a turn off for some people, it might not be a deal-breaker. There are bound to be plenty of things you're not going to like about the other person. The perfect partner doesn't exist.


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## VeMuñeca (Sep 5, 2013)

To be honest, for me it is. However, I am sure there are women who don't mind.


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## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

Damn... 

I wouldn't mind if it he slept with 2.. but more than that is just... tew much lol

I would be uncomfortable because; I feel when that time comes he'd compare me to all the other girls he's been with in the past

and the second reason its a turn off is because.. (gonna get a bit vulgar) 

all the girls he's been in are now going through you..

e-e

so no, 

and the fact he might have something..


I mean I don't want a perfect guy, but I don't want one thats been banging the team either lmao...


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## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

nubly said:


> You just don't tell them.


LOl thanks for reminding me to ask lol

and if he can't look me in the eye, I'll know he's lying lol


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## SaladDays (Nov 26, 2013)

Grand said:


> For me, it's a turn off if a guy has slept with even one woman.


So every guy that's not on SAS is a turn off?


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## Sean07 (May 9, 2014)

I don't understand this, it's just sex. People wash their genitals enough so the essence of previous partners doesn't infect your body. Everyone has preferences and that's fair enough but I just don't get it, for both sexes. Surely the more experienced - the better the sex?


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## BeingofFlesh (May 14, 2015)

Lol at the max 5 sexual partners requirements. Why not 4? or 6? 

There's gotta be a huge diffrence between having had 5 one-timers and, say, 5 long term relationships. 
Apparently someone is a pimp in some womens eyes because some of us have had 5 serious girlfriends.


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

For me it's a turn off because he might have hurt many women by being unfaithful before and he might also have a lot of STDs and other stuff.


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## Gojira (Jun 1, 2015)

Hmm, it's **** shaming when it's a girl, but if it's a guy, it's a legitimate turnoff?? 

I love people lol


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

i mean honestly how are you some of you people even walking around with those broomsticks lodged so far up your butts


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## Gojira (Jun 1, 2015)

gopherinferno said:


> i mean honestly how are you some of you people even walking around with those broomsticks lodged so far up your butts


Bahahahaha, don't hate, hater, it's true! Lol XD


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

I'm surprised that a lot of women in here don't like the idea of it, I thought it was mainly a guy thing.



gopherinferno said:


> i mean honestly how are you some of you people even walking around with those broomsticks lodged so far up your butts


Dating preferences are dating preferences; it's one of the few instances in fact where you can racially discriminate and it's still perfectly ok - given that this is the case it seems a bit strange to draw the line at something like sexual partner count.


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## Kind Of (Jun 11, 2014)

Not really, but past a point (25-30) I'd start to wonder about how doggedly they're pursuing sex to have that number in their 20's. No one's realistically going to meet 30 women with mutual sexual chemistry playing MTG and working in an office.

Plenty of people are gross about sex (regardless of their number). Plenty of people can have sex with several or more people without lying, cheating, or disrespecting their partners. It's called having sex for fun with people who also just want sex for fun and knowing how serious your feelings actually are.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Paper Samurai said:


> I'm surprised that a lot of women in here don't like the idea of it, I thought it was mainly a guy thing.
> 
> Dating preferences are dating preferences; it's one of the few instances in fact where you can racially discriminate and it's still perfectly ok - given that this is the case it seems a bit strange to draw the line at something like sexual partner count.


To be honest I wouldn't say people actually think that's OK. I see a lot of people criticise racial preferences. There are people who think it's fine, but there are people who think having a preference for someone with less sexual partners is fine too.

People just criticise the preferences that bother them. I tend to criticise hypocrisy when it comes to this kind of thing, but logically hypocritical preferences are still just preferences. Even if I find that unjust.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Gojira said:


> Hmm, it's **** shaming when it's a girl, but if it's a guy, it's a legitimate turnoff??
> 
> I love people lol


Hah yep, the responses we had when this thread was reversed were rather different.


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## Elleire (Jul 24, 2011)

Absolutely not.


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

Massive turn off. I disagree with the conventions of casual sex and would never had sex outside a relationship.


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## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

If I'm already interested in him, then no it wouldn't change anything. But guys that like to talk openly about their sexual experience make me cringe.


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## caelle (Sep 9, 2008)

Yes, it's a turn off for me. Maybe because I don't have a lot of experience either? I mean I like men who do have some experience, but maybe I see it as like if a guy hasn't had that many sex partners, it's because he really wants to have a connection with the person before he gets to that level. 

And also, if they've had a lot of sex partners, I'm going to think I'm going to be another one of those girls he's gonna **** then forget. If I was only wanting something casual, then maybe it would be ok. But not for a serious relationship.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Persephone The Dread said:


> To be honest I wouldn't say people actually think that's OK. I see a lot of people criticise racial preferences. There are people who think it's fine, but there are people who think having a preference for someone with less sexual partners is fine too.
> 
> People just criticise the preferences that bother them. I tend to criticise hypocrisy when it comes to this kind of thing, but logically hypocritical preferences are still just preferences. Even if I find that unjust.


Yeah, race is not quite a perfect example since it's not 100% stigma free. Probably something like height would be better, that's something you'd have no control of but is a very common and vocal preference by some. When something like that is an acceptable preference, it becomes hard to argue for excluding lifestyle choices (things that are entirely in a person's control)

I honestly think that seeing as I have no idea of what is going to make someone else happy in a relationship and the scope is entirely limited to just them - then they should be able to go nuts with what ever they want. You want someone with blue hair who rides a unicycle? Go for it lol.:grin2:

You can theoretically have any preference you want, but at the same time you're not entitled to have someone fulfill it. That's the way I look at things.


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## nothing else (Oct 27, 2013)

Girls love geeky virgins who people don't find attractive. This is well known.


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## Gojira (Jun 1, 2015)

nothing else said:


> Girls love geeky virgins who people don't find attractive. This is well known.


Ha Haha hahahaha! :clap


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## Fangirl96 (Apr 13, 2015)

Yeah i think it's a big turn off tbh. I have zero experience myself so i'd prefer, and probably need, someone as awkward and inexperienced as myself. I don't wanna be compared to 30 other women or something. That's too much pressure. I'm not even into extremly social extroverts (which u probs need to be to sleep around a lot) so i doubt that i would end up with someone like that anyway.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Paper Samurai said:


> I'm surprised that a lot of women in here don't like the idea of it, I thought it was mainly a guy thing.


I think that people on SAS are more negative about it than the general public, because many people here have little to no experience with sex and relationships. It's pretty common to feel more comfortable imagining someone on a similar level of experience. Some girls, in this thread, even talk about not wanting to be compared to the guy's past sex partners.


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## Dre12 (Jul 25, 2014)

probably offline said:


> I think that people on SAS are more negative about it than the general public, because many people here have little to no experience with sex and relationships. It's pretty common to feel more comfortable imagining someone on a similar level of experience. Some girls, in this thread, even talk about not wanting to be compared to the guy's past sex partners.


People seem to be quite paranoid about STIs on here too.


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## Gojira (Jun 1, 2015)

probably offline said:


> I think that people on SAS are more negative about it than the general public, because many people here have little to no experience with sex and relationships. It's pretty common to feel more comfortable imagining someone on a similar level of experience. Some girls, in this thread, even talk about not wanting to be compared to the guy's past sex partners.


Right, but when it's the guy that doesn't want a girl who's slept around a lot, it's **** shaming and oppressing women 

So if a man doesn't want to be compared to a woman's past partner's, oh well, man the **** up. Good job society. Smh.

It works both ways people.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

Gojira said:


> Right, but when it's the guy that doesn't want a girl who's slept around a lot, it's **** shaming and oppressing women
> 
> So if a man doesn't want to be compared to a woman's past partner's, oh well, man the **** up. Good job society. Smh.
> 
> It works both ways people.


It depends how people express their preferences.

You'll note people in this thread tend not to be calling anyone "****s" or *****s", just explaining why they personally wouldn't like it - which is reasonable.


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## Doobage (Dec 20, 2014)

Fangirl96 said:


> Yeah i think it's a big turn off tbh. I have zero experience myself so i'd prefer, and probably need, someone as awkward and inexperienced as myself. I don't wanna be compared to 30 other women or something. That's too much pressure. I'm not even into extremly social extroverts (which u probs need to be to sleep around a lot) so i doubt that i would end up with someone like that anyway.


You said everything I was about to post :grin2:


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

probably offline said:


> I think that people on SAS are more negative about it than the general public, because many people here have little to no experience with sex and relationships. It's pretty common to feel more comfortable imagining someone on a similar level of experience. Some girls, in this thread, even talk about not wanting to be compared to the guy's past sex partners.


That makes sense. I think there's still some though that don't want to be in a relationship with someone who's into the party lifestyle as well.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Paper Samurai said:


> That makes sense. I think there's still some though that don't want to be in a relationship with someone who's into the party lifestyle as well.


Oh, for sure. And... people are also more likely to think _that_ way on SAS, since many people with SA are introverts.


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## Gojira (Jun 1, 2015)

TicklemeRingo said:


> It depends how people express their preferences.
> 
> You'll note people in this thread tend not to be calling anyone "****s" or *****s", just explaining why they personally wouldn't like it - which is reasonable.


No, no... debating this same discusion on the sister thread to this, ppl were expressing that the thread was disgusting and sexist, though the language was exactly the same as here, peaceful and respectful.

It is not the language... it's the politics... XD


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

Gojira said:


> though the language was exactly the same as here, peaceful and respectful.


That's not my recollection. Is that thread still open or was it closed?


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

I want a virgin girl. Case closed.


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## Gojira (Jun 1, 2015)

TicklemeRingo said:


> That's not my recollection. Is that thread still open or was it closed?


Ofc u r going to have trolls and ppl looking for attention posting on a thread on that topic... it is the internet after all lol XD

But there were conversations being had that were just that, conversations.

So the whole thread was closed bc of a few jerks, instead of ignoring the trolls like mature individuals ought to...

Seriously, point out a non troll post that made it close worthy -.-

Not to mention, closing the thread was the "Politically Correct" thing to do, since it was about the number of partners a woman has. This thread is exactly the same, but about the number of partners a man has had... think this one will be closed?? Lol... maybe now that it's been mentioned.

Let's simplify... appears that discussing the number of partners a female has had = bad... discussing the number of partners a male has had = good... please tell me you can see the hypocrisy here. I mean, really??

Maybe a moderator will come in to clarify (.../close now**?? Haha XD)


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

As long as a person is clean, I don't really care how many partners they've had. Ten, a hundred, a million. Makes no difference to me. If they survive the gauntlet of obstacles I place between myself and them to weed out users and _still_ pull a pump'n'dump it's their loss.


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