# I hate myself. How do I learn not to?



## Mark02 (May 4, 2010)

All in the title question. Anyone else have experiences like this?

I feel so ugly and uninteresting that I'll never have friends or a girlfriend. I hate what I look like, what I sound like, etc. so much that I don't want to impose myself on anyone and make their day worse just by talking to them. 

On the rare occasions that I am friendly and sociable, those are the times I'm either forced to be, or for some reason I've temporarily forgotten about my own self-hatred.

I don't want to be this self-absorbed. How do I get over it?


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## Mark02 (May 4, 2010)

joinmartin said:


> Okay, I had a pretty bad self hatred coupled with depression for a long time. So I can probably guess about this. Did you learn to hate yourself? Or were you told to hate yourself? Or encouraged to hate yourself? Or did you simply decide, for whatever reason, to hate yourself? What are we working with here? Are external sources to blame or are you just experiencing feelings of self hatred for other reasons? And, as always, if you are in any doubt about your mental health, consult your doctor and or a qualified professional.
> 
> Okay, there's a process element involved to a certain extent here: in order to hate yourself you probably have an idea about who you are. So how do you know who you are? Or who you are right now? How do you know what you look like and sound like? Yeah, sure, you can look in the mirror and hear your own voice. But have your eyes and ears ever played tricks on you in the past? Have you ever seen or heard stuff that turned out not to be there? Can you really be sure of your own perception of yourself? How do you know what you look like to other people? Have you met everyone on the planet?
> 
> ...


I probably "learned" to hate myself. Was never told. I would see a doctor but I have no access to one. I *know* I haven't met everyone on the planet, and that I can't get inside my head, and that they probably have a different perception of me from what I have of myself, but that alone doesn't reduce the depression.

I don't have any friends, and I've never had a girlfriend. I know I'm ugly. I've never (NEVER) been told I'm good-looking, or never had a girl flirt with me or be interested in me as more than a friend. I can look in the mirror and compare myself to others, and can OBJECTIVELY say that I'm ugly. And yes, I DO feel like I'll never have a social life or a girlfriend.

I'm not choosing to feel this way. I just do, and I can't shake it. I want to overcome it somehow.


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