# Realizing that a lot of people are stupid helped me a lot



## Happyman (Apr 12, 2008)

When I had deep social anxiety, I cared so much about what people had to say about me. I clinged on to the words because I subconsciously believed that what they said was the most important thing. People were more confident than me, and so I let them have that power over me.

When dealing with lots of people I realized that a lot of people are really stupid. Their opinions don't mean jack. So many people are dumb, lazy, fickle, that it's backwards thinking to believe that they are more important than us.

I can get really angry at people because I felt like their opinion of me really matters. It pierces me sometimes when they say something mean to me. 

What I've learned is that it's all in our heads. If you think you're better or worse or equal to someone, it's just you thinking that, and you can think what you want. It's all about perspective.


----------



## WhiteRaven (Feb 3, 2008)

Very good point. Because of the different personality types, most people that say things to you have no deep meaning behind it and have already forgotten it by the time they have said it.

I wrote an article on this, it might be useful to some, I know it was to me: http://ezinearticles.com/?Social-Anxiet ... &id=967654


----------



## Happyman (Apr 12, 2008)

I can't tell which personality i am in that thing. I am both of the introverted ones.


----------



## WhiteRaven (Feb 3, 2008)

Happyman said:


> I can't tell which personality i am in that thing. I am both of the introverted ones.


Most people have a majority of their traits fall into two of the catergories, rather than one (although they have traits from all four).  I am also the two introverted ones which makes me Melancholy/Phlegmatic.


----------



## Happyman (Apr 12, 2008)

I read that they have 'updated' that four humors concept and now there are five. But I didn't look indepth to see what they are.


----------



## Glenns (Aug 11, 2008)

You are now just beginning to realise that your daily existence revolves around the stupid, and the listless of mind.
The older you become, the more pronounced their stupidity will appear.
At first, you're relieved that you have something most people don't have (a brain), then saddened, knowing full well that you have to interface with idiots no matter where you go.


----------



## Eilicea (Jun 15, 2008)

This is why I hate being around most people, because they're stupid and always in my way, but then I can't stop caring about what they think anyway. My brain works in a pointless direction.


----------



## WhiteRaven (Feb 3, 2008)

Happyman said:


> I read that they have 'updated' that four humors concept and now there are five. But I didn't look indepth to see what they are.


I've heard about that too, I think they split the Phlegmatic in half or something? Can't remember. It is another theory to the personality types (I think some theories have 17 types or something) but I like the concept of those four.


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Happyman said:


> What I've learned is that it's all in our heads. If you think you're better or worse or equal to someone, it's just you thinking that, and you can think what you want. It's all about perspective.


We shouldn't think of ourselves as better than anyone else, just equal and different. That humility is an advantage . Interesting epiphany :yes


----------



## Gooseberry (Aug 22, 2008)

Happyman said:


> When I had deep social anxiety, I cared so much about what people had to say about me. I clinged on to the words because I subconsciously believed that what they said was the most important thing. People were more confident than me, and so I let them have that power over me.
> 
> When dealing with lots of people I realized that a lot of people are really stupid. Their opinions don't mean jack. So many people are dumb, lazy, fickle, that it's backwards thinking to believe that they are more important than us.
> 
> ...


excellently put !!!


----------



## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Exactly. If a little child (toddler) called me "stupid" I'd be more prone to laugh and enjoy the experience than if an adult made the same comment (although it wouldn't bother me significantly, it would be more bothersome than the child saying it). We assign importance to people's comments, and we only get bothered if we find that person's input to be trustworthy/valid.

I think a lot of anxiety is due to our placing waaaaay too much credit on other people's ability to discern the truth. People are very flawed individuals who are easily overwhelmed by emotions that can drive them to make all sorts of comments, no matter how baseless they might be. Sometimes what they say might be valid, but our reactions should be based on the validity rather than just the fact that so-and-so said something.

If so-and-so told me that aliens visit me nightly, I wouldn't believe them due to there not being evidence. The same sort of standard should apply when it comes to judgements of our worth or character. Do they really know you well? Are they in a calm, rational state of mind? Does their opinion reflect a personal preference, or an absolute truth? Etc.


----------



## meesha327 (Mar 15, 2007)

This is very true. I wish I could just remember this everytime I start caring about what others think of me. I always think its me, and not them. i always blame myself. Why? I don't know because who are they that they are so much better than me? They're not.


----------



## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

^ Right. And what makes them automatically right when they criticize us?


----------



## 99x (Oct 4, 2007)

I feel the same way. Sometimes it helps, but its usually only temporary.


----------



## Happyman (Apr 12, 2008)

This post shows the logic and I'm sure most of you will agree with it, as well as the other people in the post like Ardum who showed examples.

However, as we all know, humans are emotional creatures, so logic alone does not produce long term results. Logic is just the starting point. It's the second step, actually talking to people and not caring, that will then give you the emotional point tieing it with your logical reasoning.

If I just sat here and talked philosophy and theories and equations, I could know I'm right, but it wouldn't do me any good until I apply it and gradually overcome my subconcious emotions that have been embedded in me.


----------



## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Happyman said:


> This post shows the logic and I'm sure most of you will agree with it, as well as the other people in the post like Ardum who showed examples.
> 
> However, as we all know, humans are emotional creatures, so logic alone does not produce long term results. Logic is just the starting point. It's the second step, actually talking to people and not caring, that will then give you the emotional point tieing it with your logical reasoning.
> 
> If I just sat here and talked philosophy and theories and equations, I could know I'm right, but it wouldn't do me any good until I apply it and gradually overcome my subconcious emotions that have been embedded in me.


Very well put! Yes, just cognitively defeating these beliefs alone does not typically change anything at the "gut" level.

That's the all-important "B" portion of CBT. C alone and B alone are not worth much at all unless they are fundamentally linked and work together consistently and thoroughly.

I've "beaten" a lot of anxiety in specific, testable social contexts that way.

Behavioral change is definitely vital. :yes


----------



## musicaljess (Jun 27, 2015)

Happyman said:


> When I had deep social anxiety, I cared so much about what people had to say about me. I clinged on to the words because I subconsciously believed that what they said was the most important thing. People were more confident than me, and so I let them have that power over me.
> 
> When dealing with lots of people I realized that a lot of people are really stupid. Their opinions don't mean jack. So many people are dumb, lazy, fickle, that it's backwards thinking to believe that they are more important than us.
> 
> ...


I can totally relate to this ... however it just doesn't seem to help me :/ i know that its all in my head and that i shouldn't let these stupid people have control over me and that i shouldnt feel intimidated my them, but when i actually put myself in those situations i just crumble , its so frustrating :/


----------



## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

I realized that I'm usually thinking much worse things about other people than they could ever think about me. Because I'm a terrible person


----------

