# What do you even say to that? O_o



## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

I had a pretty bad night last night, got home late, very tired, opened my email, see a response from this one dating site i joined a while back, never check anymore, I could help but laugh out loud at this email this 43 year old man sent me... 
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read your whole profile and I can tell you would be a very fine young woman to me and me to you. I promose you 110%, I would let you stay a fine virgin young lady and I mean a long time until your wedding day and just to hang out with you would bring such joy to my soul, that joy you now have, may it only increase. Please click on my profile and look inn my eyes. I am young in heart and I think we'd balance each other out well. You get a more mature guy (imo) and I get a sweet deer in the kitchen forever, But basically I want to be email friends first. I do not understand how so many people on this site don't want to be friends first or like it's not important to meet someone. I don't want to meet anyone who doesn't care but just wants what they want. Who knows what that is either. You are very sensetive to true love and I know it and that is why I am writing and I mean like I be your angel, you be my angel. I would read any fine book to you for hours if you wanted and drive there to visit and even get a job down there if you wanted me to after I met you and we hang out and just sit and talk. I lived on an Amish farm for 1 1/2 years and I know the old fashioned way real well. I would explain things voluntarily and you would not even have to ever ask a question because I can sort of know what you would want to know and I'd answer it in all tender kindness. I think you are more gentle and kind than all the birds that ever lew or will fly. Did I try enough? Tall.......I'm 5'11". I'd just hold you alot whenever you needed it. Peace be to you, -Jeff. 


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Uh... can you say creepy?? no offense, but what does he except to get a reply from me? I just replied in a nicest manner possible that he was a tab bit too old for me.. 
sigh... ah, the joys of online dating world, keep me laughing..


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## KimberlyK (Nov 11, 2004)

:um "a sweet deer in the kitchen forever" sounds pretty scary to me.


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## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

I didnt even see that part :lol


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## Bon (Dec 24, 2005)

GermanHermit said:


> Are Amish allowed to have computers??? :wtf


When I first read this, I thought gee, I wonder what country he is from, then when I read he was amish, he would have to have broke away from the fold, but, too me, it doesn't even sound like he's speaking broken German??? If he left his people, that would mean he could think for himself, he was taught/learnt a different way, would he be writing in this manner? Not writing style, relationship. Too me it sounded like one of those letters men get, from women wanting away from their homeland.


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## nakedshrew (Dec 5, 2004)

Seriously, comb that profile for personal information.. just to be on the safe side.


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

Wow. That was funny. And some girls accuse me of being creepy. That's way out of my league. :lol

So yeah, sounds kind of odd to me.


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## Argo (May 1, 2005)

GermanHermit said:


> Are Amish allowed to have computers??? :wtf


There are two kinds of Amish. One, the people who live on farms without electricity and use horse-drawn buggies and the like. But there are also Amish who follow the religious traditions, but use modern appliances, etc. In this guy's case, he says he spent a year on an Amish farm, so he probably isn't a real Amish, but just some guy testing it out. Did you read that Shaker article I linked to a few days ago? They talk about something similar there, how people interested in the Shaker lifestyle will sometimes go over there and live with them for a while before deciding the lifestyle is not for them.


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## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

He sounds like a good catch.


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## Bon (Dec 24, 2005)

Argo said:


> GermanHermit said:
> 
> 
> > Are Amish allowed to have computers??? :wtf
> ...


Aren't the second type called Mennonites? It's my understanding you really don't test the Amish life, they're very weery of outsiders.


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## Argo (May 1, 2005)

realspark said:


> Aren't the second type called Mennonites? It's my understanding you really don't test the Amish life, they're very weery of outsiders.


There's an article that I think covers it all here: 
http://www.amishnews.com/publishersmess ... eamish.htm

The sum of it is that converts are rare, but it does happen. Specifically:
_Thus, the Amish are reluctant and suspicious of most outsiders who say they want to be Amish. Rather than sitting down and talking about the religion, the sincere "seeker" is usually placed with a family and takes part in the daily routine, picking up what is required of him by the community and the church much in the same way a child would._


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## Anti-Charisma (Nov 17, 2004)

Kimberly69 said:


> :um "a sweet deer in the kitchen forever" sounds pretty scary to me.


She gets to be his slave for eternity and answer to the name "Bambi."

Don't let this one get away!


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## silverstein (Jul 9, 2006)

Reading that reminds me of reading the messages I still receive once in a while from people in African countries that got my e-mail from some correspondant sites I used to frequent. That guy really doesn't sound like he's an American, and he really sounds old fashioned even by every day standards. Wonder what made him think that a woman would be happy with a man twice her age who seems to be looking for a cook that will sleep with him eventually.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

Yeah, I received a message along those lines when I made a profile.. just for fun on okcupid when I was 18. I went there to take the quizzes and I had no interest in meeting anyone. I just filled out a profile with stupid comments and absurdities that made me laugh. I got a few emails and "woos" (one from a really hot Japanese transvestite, I might add), but discarded them. THEN.. a man sent me a message. It was really bizarre. To make a long story short (too late), he said in his first -and only- message that he "really" wanted to "meet me." I clicked on his profile and in every line he talked about how much he wanted sex. He said that he hadn't had sex in 20 (or something) years. Under his age, it said "63." Needless to say, I was completely freaked out. He was about three hours away from my fake town (I didn't put my real location), but he was "willing to drive." On the bright side, someone had interest in me.. as perverse as that may have been. Heh.. a desperate senior citizen, but nonetheless. I did not reply to his message. Instead, I deleted my profile and never returned. I guess if I get desperate enough, I can go down to the senior center and grab a date.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Argo said:


> There are two kinds of Amish. One, the people who live on farms without electricity and use horse-drawn buggies and the like. But there are also Amish who follow the religious traditions, but use modern appliances, etc. In this guy's case, he says he spent a year on an Amish farm, so he probably isn't a real Amish, but just some guy testing it out. Did you read that Shaker article I linked to a few days ago? They talk about something similar there, how people interested in the Shaker lifestyle will sometimes go over there and live with them for a while before deciding the lifestyle is not for them.


After seeing both type of groups in northern Indiana (I drive by buggies everytime I go up there!), I can say that they normally stick to partners closer in age. I am sure there is some lady out there on the site who is 38-43.


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## Guitaraholic187 (Jun 3, 2006)

Anyone that writes that long of a message is a creep forsure, oh no i think I wrote too much, now I'm a creep.


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

yeah that guy sounds very creepy.



> Please click on my profile and *look inn my eyes*.


haha, and did anyone else find that really funny? 
is he trying to hypnotise you or something?


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## Amelia (Nov 24, 2003)

Equisgurl said:


> I had a pretty bad night last night


Poor you. This e-mail must have really made your day! :lol



> I get a sweet deer in the kitchen forever


 :afr 


> I would read any fine book to you for hours


You wouldn't even need to read!


> I know the old fashioned way real well


 :um 


> I would explain things voluntarily and you would not even have to ever ask a question


You wouldn't even need to talk!


> I'd just hold you alot


 :afr

He could have got his message across by just posting this:


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## tucson (May 24, 2006)

"sweet deer in the kitchen forever"--I have to add that to my list of pickup lines not to use. :lol


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## tucson (May 24, 2006)

"sweet deer in the kitchen forever"--I have to add that to my list of pickup lines not to use. :lol


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## Laura (Nov 12, 2003)

...


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## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

Amelia- want his email? :lol 
Ok... part 2, I got a second email from him yesterday, heres what he had to say:
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You said money was cool(note from me- I never said anything about money). Money is like "an understanding". To me a dollar equals 10 cents. That is the future continuous value of it. I can get 10% every year down through time if that dollar stays saved. So 100 grand equals $10,000 a year. I run a hedge fund now but it's not real big. It's 1.2 million but it's not my money. I do trade my own accounts and combined they are $55,000 and that gets me $200,000 worth of stock on margin. i set up my account so it's inversive and that means if the market crashes, my stuff goes up (alot). I'm in two stocks right now. 2,000 shares of Goldcorp, and 1876 shares of Chesapeake Energy. It's gold mines and natural gas (energy). So I have to trade that up and I started at 23K and had it up to 72K in 5 months. I'm at 50K now but I took some out to live on. I was a union bricklayer for 12 years and can earn 40K a year doing that. I was studying the stock market since 1999 so this past year was the time I started doing things right more consistently. So this is just to communicate and not really a bragging email. It might seem like alot. I get 10% of whatever that hedge fund does per year and those two GG and CHK are really big in it. I have no girlfriend right now and I know you have some fine grace about you so I wrote this. I do not want to write to many girls on here. You name handle describes me as well. Please click on my profile and don't let age be of such a concern if true love can be found.....to me it's worth alot. I really like how you want the relationship to be at a higher level so you said erotica was out. I said same thing. Take Care, -Jeff.
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In addition to his rather disturbing emails, the pictures that came along with rather... odd, to say the least, not sure I should post them here... plus his user name is Woodstalker.... woods talker? or wood stalker? 
I really would rather not find out... :afr


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## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

are you sure it's a real person? :con 

it could just be an automated message of some sort. maybe you should make more accounts and see if they get the same responses.


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## nakedshrew (Dec 5, 2004)

WOODSTALKER! abort! eject! bail out! run away! once again, check your profile and any other place you happen to be online for personal information and umm don't go for a walk in the woods any time soon :afr


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

Sounds like a scam to me. He's setting the bait by discussing money, which will probably lead to asking you to send him money to invest or asking for your bank account information so he can "transfer funds" or something on that order if you continue writing him back. I wouldn't bother contacting him any further, block him if you can and report the messages to the personals service as spam. The whole thing seems like some kind of scam. I'm willing to bet its a mass spam operation and other members of that site are receiving the same messages.


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

Equisgurl is getting married! Hooray! You found your soul mate!

Now...look into my eyes! Yessssssssss


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## Toonia (Jan 26, 2006)

Yeah, it sounds like a scam - possibly not a real person. If it is someone actually lookin fer luv (yuck! pooey! bleh!), he would definitely latch on to the slightest chance. I would definitely not communicate any longer. Any show of attention - regardless of what you say - will be taken as an opportunity by him. He sounds a bit like stalker material. Very strange.


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## salty (Mar 21, 2006)

Equisgurl said:


> the pictures that came along with rather... odd, to say the least


?


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## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

Older men are running out of time. Maybe some just don't the have patience for formalities? I think he was only trying to show that he was sort of financially stable in that second email. I'm guessing your profile is less trashy (?) than most and he found that really appealing. He sounds desperate. :| I always feel sorry for older guys who go after younger women. I just think, "that's me in 30 years after I finally get over my anxieties." :afr 

By the way, he only said that he lived on an Amish farm for 1.5 years. Maybe it was some kind of amish internship or something.


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## bellicose (Sep 16, 2004)

That is all very creepy. I weep for you..


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## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

Youre not going to believe this guys... even when I told him he was too old for me, I got another response from him today:

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I know what you said is true but it's because conventional wisdom says that. I see how an older woman shuts me down so bad, I die inside when I'm around them. I want to go surfing and she says "You're acting like a kid". I want to ride my 3 wheeled scooter around (it cost me like 180 and it's really fast and fun) nope, can't do that without criticism. Can't even throw a frisbee around with them. They shut me down where as you'd pick me up. I traded well today. I made almost 3 grand in GG, Goldcorp when gold moved up from 635 to 650 today. It beats masonry work by a country mile. Here's a letter I wrote to another fine girl in NC. This is my mind. You can see if I'm nuts or what? can of nuts is more like it. I can be nuts but usually I can it. OK, here it is:
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Dear , I wrote this today to a fine girl in NC. This is the real me. I send it to you with honest hope. I have no girlfriend now and I only want a pure woman to know and share kindness with. Everything in here is real. Please check this out and see on my profile. I posted USA divorce statistics and it's scary to me to not find Miss Right. I write you just to be a friend. I think you have a good mind and are serious about life. Some older girls act less mature than a woman in her 20's. Idealism is just truth in a belief system, I think it's very good what you wrote. -Jeff.
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Hello, I read your profile again, I see you like elementary education. This is really excellent. It means you love children and will probably always be young in heart as the children love you back. I know you are way young for me. i sort of would be like an uncle to you not after you but just to see you grow and become a fine woman. If I am around an older woman, they shut me down emotionally. Every fun thing I want to do, they say "That's stupid, you're acting like a kid". I can't go surfing or ride my 3 wheeled trik scooter around or throw a frisbee with them. And today my mom tells me to go get a real job and i made $2,835 on the computer in goldmining stock GG. I am a good trader. This is actually the first year I have consistently made profits that are serious. I sold 1,878 shares of CHK (natural gas) at $33.24 and bought 2,000 more GG at 29.20. Because gold was slow to breakout but with all these wars going on, it was set to pop up. So I had then 4,300 shares of GG and the new stuff was at 29.20. So it broke out upwards while CHK fell back. I traded well today. It doesn't always work this way. So this is my boring job but it pays alot better than as a union bricklayer. That's what I was around Virginia Beach. I had a nice house in Northpoint in Currituck County, right on the line with VA. I want you to stay in school and I can email you alot and give encouragement if you'd like. I think you look so fine and mature. It hurts me to see your nose swollen and lip hurt. I think truth in your heart makes a woman like you strong and I 'd only want it to increase. But I have no girlfriend now. I have to keep my mind pure so I can trade stocks. If I get into lust and messed up from a wild woman, it ruins my thinking and I can't trade right. I manage a hedge fund and it's like 900K and in my account is like 120K. So I sold the house and it's in the account. But if you ever needed a place to stay. I'd give you your own room and just like my daughter/sister sort of. I think true love is of the heart and mind and soul. A real relationship is not going to happen on the animal level and last. The people end up fighting and I like peace in the house. You can be an email friend to me if you want. I am as safe as the mildest cop in your hometown. My one brother is a policeman, middle brother is a missionary to Brazil. I'm the oldest and just at home now to take care of my dad so he doesn't have to go into a home. But you look so fine and I'd love to hold you like a little bunny rabbit 24-7 if you needed some TLC. I am losing weight and should look about 36 when I'm done. My face is sort of English and it's young looking. So take care and hope you find one to respect you, I know I would. i would listen to your words and share any truth I know in love. I would give you an allowance if you ever went with me, maybe after college or whatever. I'm for long term. This is good for months away too, but if I find a pure honey to let stay pure, then maybe it's not open then but it's open now. Peace Out, - Jeff.

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Ok... creepy... but question...


> It hurts me to see your nose swollen and lip hurt.


Uh.. what? is that supposed to offend me?



> But you look so fine and I'd love to hold you like a little bunny rabbit 24-7 if you needed some TLC.


 :afr :afr :afr ... please dont eat me..


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

Scammer alert! Ditch the loser/scammer and block him if you can. Or alert the website and get the account banned.


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## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

Block his profile or whatever you can do. Creeps never stop unless you force them to.


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## mranonhello (Nov 13, 2003)

That would be a lot of effort to play a joke. All that stock stuff if it is made up was researched to have some degree of plausability with someone who knows a bit about trading. Even if the guy is totally serious and honest I'd just not reply and he will eventually stop.


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

Don't answer him anymore (I'm not sure if you even have since your first reply) He's thriving on attention and you gave him what he wants by replying. It bothers me the way he keeps talking about money, seems like he's trying to gain your trust so he can lure you into a scam. Block him if at all possible.


> i sort of would be like an uncle to you not after you but just to see you grow and become a fine woman.


:lol
Just what every girl wants, a creepy old man who wants to be her uncle/lover.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Wow, I didn't even know there was a second...and third letter!

Broken English?
I get e-mails every once in a while from weird places telling me that they are in need of money.
This is just sad.


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## instil (Aug 19, 2005)

im so afraid of having kids now that we are in the internet age we live in.... the amish will be the least of my problems


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## LoneLioness (Nov 16, 2003)

Those emails were pretty funny. If it was me I'd probably set up a fake account of an older women and start sending him some crazy emails just for kicks. I wonder how he'd react to a 55 year old women saying she wants him to be her sweet little deer. :lol


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## Babygirly (Dec 2, 2004)

Lonelyguy said:


> > i sort of would be like an uncle to you not after you but just to see you grow and become a fine woman.
> 
> 
> :lol
> Just what every girl wants, a creepy old man who wants to be her uncle/lover.


...BWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


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## Babygirly (Dec 2, 2004)

LoneLioness said:


> Those emails were pretty funny. If it was me I'd probably set up a fake account of an older women and start sending him some crazy emails just for kicks. I wonder how he'd react to a 55 year old women saying she wants him to be her sweet little deer. :lol


. .opcorn . .:lol


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## sslhea (Sep 30, 2005)

> It hurts me to see your nose swollen and lip hurt.


Did you fall down recently? Or get into an accident? Or Is this a sublte threat if you ignore him?

Good luck getting out of this one Equiisgirl. I wouldn't know how to graciously bow out. I'd probably cancel my whole account! :hide


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## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

Run.


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## mranonhello (Nov 13, 2003)

LoneLioness said:


> Those emails were pretty funny. If it was me I'd probably set up a fake account of an older women and start sending him some crazy emails just for kicks. I wonder how he'd react to a 55 year old women saying she wants him to be her sweet little deer. :lol


Get busy and report back what happens.


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## medea (May 6, 2006)

I'm sorry but that message was friggin HILARIOUS! I especially liked :

"I would explain things voluntarily and you would not even have to ever ask a question because I can sort of know what you would want to know and I'd answer it in all tender kindness. "


See you won't even have to think or ask questions because he would KNOW what you needed!


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## medea (May 6, 2006)

radfaraf said:


> LoneLioness said:
> 
> 
> > Those emails were pretty
> > Get busy and report back what happens.


I'm with this as well as making the fake id as a 55 y/o rich lady!!!

I don't think the money talk is a scam, probably an exageration to try and buy you. The bit about the uncle, giving you a room, giving you an allowance OMG that is so creepy, this guy should have a camera crew following him around to record these gems!!!


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## Veggie1 (Jan 12, 2006)

I don't think it's a money scam, necessarily, but he sounds a bit whacko. If he didn't accept you saying there's too big of an age difference, then don't worry about hurting his feelings and cut him off completely. If you still hear from him, block/report him. 

On a dating site last year, a guy living in a nearby town contacted me three times, even after I politely said I wasn't interested. He knew what I looked like and I had no clue what he looked like, so it totally creeped me out. 

Follow your 'women's intuition', as it's usually right.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

> I had a pretty bad night last night, got home late, very tired, opened my email, see a response from this one dating site i joined a while back, never check anymore, I could help but laugh out loud at this email this 43 year old man sent me...


I say you forget about that dating site and just go out with me instead. I'm only 35 so the age and experience gap will be minimal; just kidding. It could be a virtual date. We'll have to go dutch unless I mail you a a check for food. We'll meet for dinner (each bring our dinner to the computer) and after that we'll rent whatever movie you'd like (you pop it into your DVD/ computer and I'll pop it into mine at the same time) and we can laugh, scream or jump together throughout the movie via web cam.

Crap! I don't have a web cam.

I wonder if anyone else has thought of this before. I just thought it up.


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## medea (May 6, 2006)

heh that's a cute idea, has to be the ultimate in SA dating. you could use ymessenger to dog the acting.


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## Grantonio (Jan 20, 2006)

LOL...creepy old men talking about deer in the kitchen...some people


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## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

Thank god he didnt stopped emailing me, but I'm going to save those and read them over again sometime when I'm feeling sad..

Scairy- call me darlin' we'll have to set that up


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Equisgurl said:


> Thank god he didnt stopped emailing me, but I'm going to save those and read them over again sometime when I'm feeling sad..
> 
> Scairy- call me darlin' we'll have to set that up


Sounds good. I'm looking to leave my state anyway. Need to find a state where owning a house is possible for those that aren't a part of the rich or famous. $700K+ for a small 2 bedroom house is crazy. I'll have to get a web cam.


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## Chemicat (Aug 18, 2006)

Wow... I'm kind of late but this entire thread has made my day.

That is the absolute scariest thing I have ever read.


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