# Going away party, didn't go.



## gof22 (Dec 25, 2012)

One of the co-workers at my place of work put in her two weeks because she is going away for college. Friday was her last day and Saturday night she was having a going away party at Buffalo Wild Wings. 

For some reason she always seemed to talk to me most out of everyone there and even made a point to spend time with me when I had to wait for a ride. I don't get why. My SA made it almost impossible to speak to her. 

She asked me on Thursday if I would be going to her going away party and not thinking about it I said sure. Saturday night comes around and after almost having an anxiety attack over it I decided not to attend. I text one of my co-workers and ask him to let her know and shut my phone off afterwards.

At around 1:00 AM last night I turn my phone on to check my E-Mail and I see I have gotten a bunch of text messages from the same co-worker telling me to get down there now(8:00 P.M.) and cussing me out for not coming.

I sent a text back why he was so angry but he hasn't sent anything back yet. I don't get why he would be angry.


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## losthismarbles (Jul 5, 2014)

Not going to the going away party shows that you don't care about or respect the lady leaving and to a lesser extent the people who went. Especially after you said you were going. Now I completely understand why you didn't go and how you feel about going, but your co-worker wouldn't understand at all. To them it probably just looks like you don't care at all. I'm sure the lady leaving liked you maybe as a friend or more who knows, but I'm sure she wanted you to be at her going away party.


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## Kanova (Dec 17, 2012)

Ouuuuch, that was such a bad move. Like, the utter maximum disrespect for everyone there, especially the person leaving. Good luck on Monday my friend. Gods speed, Joseph.


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## Camaguy (Feb 25, 2014)

Your co-worker might have been upset with you because so few other co-workers showed up to the party. It's easy not to have your absence noticed when it's a party of 100+ people, but VERY noticeable when it's just a few people. You would have been better off had you not committed to going to the party in the first place. Hopefully, you can contact the woman and make it up to her somehow.


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## OutsideR1 (Mar 13, 2014)

Kanova said:


> Ouuuuch, that was such a bad move. Like, the utter maximum disrespect for everyone there, especially the person leaving. Good luck on Monday my friend. Gods speed, Joseph.


So you have to go to every going away party at work? Some people can barely drag themselves to work, let alone party with their co-workers.


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## Kanova (Dec 17, 2012)

OutsideR1 said:


> So you have to go to every going away party at work? Some people can barely drag themselves to work, let alone party with their co-workers.


Yes, yes you should go to a going away party if you are on friendly terms with everyone there, and the person directly asks you to go and you say yes. I wouldn't go if I hated the person or didn't care about her, but holy ****. OP made a bad move. If you can't see that by yourself, then it is evident when his co-worker spammed him with emails telling him to get his *** down there ASAP.

Imagine you are in the other persons place, you are friends with OP or are at least trying to be friends with him and he doesn't even show up when he said he would. What does that say? Oh, it was a waste of time and he really doesn't give a **** after all. I shouldn't even have to explain it. Just, ouch. The disrespect.


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## OutsideR1 (Mar 13, 2014)

Kanova said:


> Yes, yes you should go to a going away party if you are on friendly terms with everyone there, and the person directly asks you to go and you say yes. I wouldn't go if I hated the person or didn't care about her, but holy ****. OP made a bad move. If you can't see that by yourself, then it is evident when his co-worker spammed him with emails telling him to get his *** down there ASAP.
> 
> Imagine you are in the other persons place, you are friends with OP or are at least trying to be friends with him and he doesn't even show up when he said he would. What does that say? Oh, it was a waste of time and he really doesn't give a **** after all. I shouldn't even have to explain it. Just, ouch. The disrespect.


I cant imagine being in the other persons place because I wouldnt have a going away party. I also wouldnt go to one in my current job and I wouldnt care what others thought about it.

I can see how they might be a bit hurt though.


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## AHolivier (Aug 6, 2009)

.


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## gof22 (Dec 25, 2012)

Update: Went into work yesterday and got some glares from people. The co-worker that quit came in to say goodbye to everyone that she wasn't either able to say goodbye to at the party or to the people that couldn't go. After she was done I went up to her and tried explaining to her as best I could about my SA and why it stopped me from attending. 

Midway through explaining she told me to shut up and that she didn't care about it. She then went on to berate me about how all the times she tried being my friend and how I would just ignore it. When I tried telling her how it was my SA she told me to save it. She said she didn't care about my problems and that when someone tries to be my friend I should put in the effort regardless of what my problems are. 

When she asked if I understood I just shrugged my arms and walked away. I legitimately felt bad for not attending but after how she treated me I am happy I didn't go to her party and I hope beyond hope that I never see her again.


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## meandernorth (Nov 12, 2014)

gof22 said:


> Midway through explaining she told me to shut up and that she didn't care about it


You tried. That's really the best you could have done. Life moves forward.


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## zero 7 (Sep 15, 2014)

Forget her if she wasn't able listen to your problem's then she wasn't your friend to begin with


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## AHolivier (Aug 6, 2009)

.


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## Cool Ice Dude55 (Jan 7, 2014)

wow she sounds like such a b****. you should be glad you didnt go to her pathetic party!


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## keithjm (Apr 25, 2014)

Real friends try to understand and always give the benefit of the doubt.


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## keithjm (Apr 25, 2014)

Speaking of going away parties. I have never been to one. That is, I have never been invited or given a going away party. This reminds me. I check a FB page that is for my old military unit. I am stunned to find so many pictures of people in Christmas parties, birthday parties, Thanksgiving parties, promotion parties, local festival parties, going away parties, group trips, New Years Eve parties, group vacations, athletic team photos, girls's night out, guys night out, pub crawls and note how they were able to do all this with me being completely oblivious of the social scene going on. I mean I worked with these people everyday. I guess it was for the best. No need to for me know since I was not part of any group(s). Par for the course


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## gof22 (Dec 25, 2012)

keithjm said:


> Speaking of going away parties. I have never been to one. That is, I have never been invited or given a going away party. This reminds me. I check a FB page that is for my old military unit. I am stunned to find so many pictures of people in Christmas parties, birthday parties, Thanksgiving parties, promotion parties, local festival parties, going away parties, group trips, New Years Eve parties, group vacations, athletic team photos, girls's night out, guys night out, pub crawls and note how they were able to do all this with me being completely oblivious of the social scene going on. I mean I worked with these people everyday. I guess it was for the best. No need to for me know since I was not part of any group(s). Par for the course


Did you ever ask them why they never invited you? You are fighting alongside these people and are supposed to trust each other with your lives. The least they could have done was invite you.

Also, I am a huge military Otkau and geek so forgive me if I ask a lot og questions. Which unit were you with, where were you deployed, what rank are you currently and did you do any fighting?


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## keithjm (Apr 25, 2014)

I would rather not give out the info you are asking. There is no need to stir anything up--happened too long ago. The point I am making is that any group of people can see someone who is socially inept and will avoid them. In a military situation, we were one, but outside a military situation, we (they) had their groups for socializing.


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## flowingmountain (Oct 23, 2012)

zero 7 said:


> Forget her if she wasn't able listen to your problem's then she wasn't your friend to begin with


:yes


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## anothermisanthrope (Nov 23, 2014)

You're not obligated to go or to even care about it.


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## Nothing123 (Oct 3, 2014)

I can see both ends of the argument here, both urs and hers.
You shouldnt have said yes to going if u didnt really want to, but you DID try to pass on the message u wouldnt be there..

I can understand trying to befriend someone and being pushed away.
But i know its not all ur fault cos of ur SA and lack of social skills and u panic in those situations..

Boy she sounded really mad!! Sounds pretty bit.chy to tell u to 'shut up and save it'


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