# Perhaps the best and simplest cure for SA :) worked for me



## tranceformation (May 28, 2006)

A long time ago, a half year or 1,5 year ago (i don't have much sense of time  ) I found out what exactly my problem was and it was named "social anxiety". I had registered on this forum to find something which could help me, but i forgot my username so i have re-registered.

I feel like i have found a very effective, easy and free way to cure social anxiety... which I share in the post below. 

it might be that there is already such kind of solution posted here somewhere in these forums, and if this is the case my apologies.


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## tranceformation (May 28, 2006)

*introduction*

it might also be that my english is a bit weird and the text is unstructured :b here goes.

This approach is sort of the same as Spirituality approach, but it is non-religion and more "philosophy".... so I post it in positive thinking section because i think lots of people are turned of by the spirituality approach.

I am at the moment 19 years old and have had social anxiety since i was 13 or so.

Social anxiety is fear which arises in social circumstances.

Fear is a sort of energy that vibrates over the whole body, and always starts very small as a thought and then it feeds and gets bigger until your whole reality is full of fear and you feel like ****.

There is a very simple way to not have fear and that is love.

Fear and love are more than the obvious emotions we couple with these words. They are 2 very important energies which we are constantly under the influence of.

If you don't know about this stuff, and how the mind and emotions and these energies are constantly under eachothers influence...

the way how you feel is always a matter of "luck". if the circumstances are right, you will feel good... but if u don't have the luck to feel good you will feel bad.

When you study how love and fear work, you can remove fear in your life by allowing love inside.


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## tranceformation (May 28, 2006)

*Fear and love*

So as i said in the post above fear and love are more than the obvious emotions we associate with these words.

I will do my best to describe how fear and love works.

Fear wants, fear feels there is something wrong, fear is affraid, fear is stiff, fear is stress, fear is lonelyness, fear is unhappiness, ...

Love recognizes what is already has, love accepts everything, love is flexible, love is a state of relaxation, love is being happy alone, love is happiness, ...

So I will describe a typical social anxiety situation.

You are arriving at the swimming pool and there's lots of people. Suddenly there is thoughts in your head making you paranoid that people talk about you, that they will laugh with you, that they are better than you and you should remove yourself from the scene and go home and sit in a corner and feel bad or distract your thoughts from what was just happening there.

Instead of letting fear rule your reality, you must allow love-energy to transform the fear-energy into positive energy.

This you do by accepting the worst case scenario. You must remove the need to be accepted by people. You must find love in yourself and concentrate on that. Let it all be, if they laugh at you... that's ok. It's not yor fault. Perhaps you don't look as good as them, but that's no problem because you don't want to look good.

When you stop wanting and giving energy to the thought that there is something wrong, you open a door in which love-energy can enter.

There is an infinite amount of love-energy available, in fact if we people would stop letting our minds control us instead of becoming the master of our minds...

we could create our reality in such a way, that we feel good every second of every day.


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## tranceformation (May 28, 2006)

*Find your center*

So in the post above i mentioned somewhere that you must find that place in you that is always safe and doesn't need to be loved...

it doesn't need to be loved because it is love, it is the core of our being.

the best way to become familiar with this place is probably through meditation. You must relax your body and start watching your thoughts..

you will see that you are not your thoughts, but your thoughts are actually like some sort of artificial intelligence that has no personality to it. it just thinks, and that's all it can to.

ok once you realise that you are not your thoughts, you must let go of your thoughts. stop giving energy to it, not by trying to think your way out of thinking... but letting go.

sort of like falling a sleep but still being awake. you will feel very relaxed always, and soon or later between 1 and 20 meditation sessions you will succeed and you will find out about what is the core of our being.

it's something that is always happy, it doesn't need anything to be happy... it's like an interdimensional doorway to love/happiness/relaxation. the only thing that's needed for that love to be able to come through, is that the door must be open


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## tranceformation (May 28, 2006)

*meditation*: finding your center
there's lots of sorts of meditation and it might not be easy to find how to do it at first.

I recommend you use this file to meditate on at first
Confidence
It says it's hypnosis but actually it's some sort of guided meditation. I tried it and the promised effects didn't work, but it was helpful to learn me how to meditate.

Once you get familiar with the relaxing of the body, i recommend to stop using "guided meditation/self hypnosis cd's" because they limit you and are boring.

I recommend to meditate on some very slow music in which they do not sing (like didgeridoo).

*How to meditate?*
It is important not to drink coffee or cola, because these make it more difficult to relax. Caffeine is a stimulant and makes your heart go boom-boom.

STEP 1
-lay on your bed comfortably, with no clothes that feel tight.
-make sure nothing can bother you for at least 40/60 minutes, turn your cellphone off.
-make sure you are in a silent room/place.
-breath in deep at normal speed. your belly must become larger when breathing in (this is a healthy and relaxing technique, breathing through the belly instead breathing through the chest)
-breath out very slowly and now your belly becomes small again.
-repeat this step 2 times. 
(if your breathing doesn't become more relaxed, repeat this 3x breaths step another 1 or 2 times with a small pause in between)

STEP 2
After about 10/25 minutes after beginning the process of step 1, you will feel your body has calmed down and feel kind of heavy. Lots of people don't go further than this stage, so they just use meditation as a relaxation tool.

Meditation can actually expand your consciousness and make you sort of take a trip inside yourself. This is what is needed to be able to locate the "core of your being" or your "center".

So after 10/25 minutes i recommend you start watching your thoughts, and understand that you are not your thoughts. The ego always thinks and finds reasons to think, but the aim of step 2 is to stop this...

Instead of giving energy to your ego (giving it attention) you must let it go. This might take a 1-5 meditations, until you realise how to do this but i am sure that every one can.

You can not stop giving your ego attention by thinking "i need to quiet my thoughts" because that's just another form of think. Instead you must focus your attention on your breathing, and on relaxing. Just let it go, it is like falling asleep... let the energy pull you higher higher...

So sooner or later with this easy technique you will experience feelings in your body that you have never noticed before because you were too busy thinking. You will experience energy and different kind of sensations, and your mind will a lot of the time get you out of concentration again and start demanding energy.

But everytime you meditate it will become easier, and everytime you will learn more and more about yourself (the center of your being)

I recommend to meditate at least 1 time per day.


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## tranceformation (May 28, 2006)

*This is almost my last post *
Ok, so when you have found out what the core of your being is you are a step closer to liberation from social anxiety.

In situations where social anxiety arises, you must learn to trust the core of your being and that place inside yourself which is still and relaxed.

Just like in meditation your mind (ego) will create thoughts, to distract you from being relaxed and to try and bring you fear...

but as more experienced as you will become (and this will happen very fast, within 1 to 5 weeks of using my advice you will experience results!).

I hope you will try this technique and hope it will work as well as it did with me, but i am pretty confident it will in almost all cases.
it simple logic... love <-> fear <-> love <-> fear

By trusting your center, the core of your being... and not giving energy to your ego... you open your door for more relaxed states of being.. and for love.

*some last words*
If we are weird and they are "normal", that's no problem...

We cannot blame ourselves for other people's reaction to us, we must stop wanting to be like them we must love ourself completely and then automatically the social anxiety dissapears.

we cannot change the past so we must accept everything. no matter what you have done to other people, no matter what other people have done to you... this "love" is always there and it doesn't discriminate.

Love energy understands and heals, it doesn't say "you are a sinner"... there is no such thing as sinners. There is only energy, and if you have lost your way from the path of love there is no "god" that will punish you for this... because losing your way from the path of love is a punishment itself.

This technique is not only helpful for curing social anxiety, it can be life-transforming and even magical. Love is the best thing there is in life; and you don't even need to have a partner to be love or feel loved 

In fact, I find it far more important to find the infinite love inside yourself than finding a partner that can make you feel love.

Because: a lot of times the love you receive from a relationship is not unconditional... and when you lose your partner you whole life falls apart... 
And if you currently are having a relationship, this kind of philosophy/lifestyle/spirituality will only make it better...

For more information, see the links below.
A course in happiness
A philosophy to live by


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## tranceformation (May 28, 2006)

*new age and spirituality*
after finding out the power of love it might be possible that you become interested in spirituality.

i find it necessary to warn you about "new age" spirituality and "religion-spirituality".

Religion they teach a very irrealistic view on love/spirituality, i am sure there is some core of truth in every religion (and maybe a lot of truth) but i am on the opinion that there is also a lot of bollox in it.

For example christianity, i believe in some sort of "jesus christ" but i think it is a big lie that god is above us and that god judges. i think that we are all god, and that there is no such thing as sin...

by believing things as "i'm doing some wrong, i'm unworthy" you are closing the door for love because there is fear...

In my opinion, real spirituality is spirituality that gives fruit. Not some story you must blindly believe in, but something that really works... something that changes your life and the life of people around you.

There is a "movement" out there that gives so called "real-spirituality" information, but they actually do the same as traditional religion does... they teach a different story to believe in, but then you fall in the same trap... this movement is called "new-age" and one form of new age is Ashtar command 

Some real spirituality (in my opinion) you can find in the links below.
-Ebook: who am i?
-Adyashanti (Spiritual teacher)


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## Thunder (Nov 5, 2003)

Thank you. :wel


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

I liked your thoughts about spirituality and self-love. I agree about not depending on another for all your love because it is not always unconditional, everyone is human of course. When someone gets mad at you for some reason, at least you have your own love as a backup. It's like having a flashlight handy in case there is a power outage.

Oh, and when you talk about love, do you mean only self-love? Or do you also mean compassionate love for others, like what Jesus has for everyone? I think both kinds of love can help alleviate social anxiety.

Thanks for posting your thoughts. I think that meds and therapy are not enough for some people, and the answer also lies in a philisophical approach.


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## tranceformation (May 28, 2006)

i don't mean anyone needs to cultivate love or become a better person, you don't need to "become" spiritual because everybody is "spiritual".. it's not like you can become a "christian" and then you will be under the favor of "god".

every human being is "spiritual" and is under the influence of fear/love/hate; you can even deny that you're spiritual you will still be spiritual.

what i mean is there are always 2 ways to walk... or 2 energies to choose for... and that is either love or fear.

in our heart/gut there's "something" that some call the core of our being, and when you live from there and just accept everything you'll feel a lot better. (accepting doesn't mean that you cannot react, it means that you just don't react out of the MIND but rather out of the HEART. because the mind always tries to refuse and be "safe" and be the "best" and be "accepted", it feels insulted/angry. But if you react out of the HEART/the core of our being, you just sort of understand and you don't feel hurt or the need to hurt someone else.)

when someone goes negative on you, you can follow the way of your ego and feel "pityful" toward your self or "angry" toward someone (that's fear);

but if you sort of let that negativity of the other person go right through the core of your being... then you don't try to run away from the situation...

the negativity goes right through the core, but the core remains unscratched... because it is unscratchable..

it's not like self love because self love needs reasons, self love is of the mind.
the core of our self doesn't need reasons to love, because love is just love... it's always there even when you totally hate someone or when you are deeply depressed.

all you need to do is find that place where you can trust on, the place behind the door. and then you can open the door everytime it's become closed because you 've let thoughts "catch" you again.

so like i said earlier love is not like "love yourself", it's more like "let it all be" (of which "love yourself" is a side effect  )


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## tranceformation (May 28, 2006)

after a while you will realize that human and animal life is constantly under the influence of these energies...

love and fear act sort off like magnets that push eachother away.
<<<<<<<<<<<<< loves goes
fear goes >>>>>>>>>>>>>>

and these magnets of love and fear not only have their play inside ourselves, but inside everyone that walks this planet. someone elses magnets affect your magnets & your magnets affect their magnets.

I hope someone can transform him/her-self with this information


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## Melusine (Jun 19, 2004)

:thanks This is GREAT information.


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## Paaroska (Mar 16, 2006)

Thank you for taking the time to share that with us.


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## R4ph4el (Sep 20, 2005)

This is a nice post...I have been on the path of meditation a couple of months and I felt the inner peace(you refer to it as love). I was much more positive and relaxed.
Then I started skipping meditations and now I'm back at the start but I've been doing my meditations again the last days. So my complementary advice to yours is, don't stop when u feel better, keep going and feel even more happy!
Never stop cause the brain will take over again!


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## Entity (Jul 20, 2004)

Very interesting post. It's almost as if people with SA are already more in touch with their spirituality and just don't know where to channel it. Almost as if we have an extra sense of awareness and empathy and are continually trying to make good of it, but are constantly overpowered by the dark thoughts that we are also consumed by. 

I could see where use of meditation to channel this energy could be helpful.


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## Paaroska (Mar 16, 2006)

well I tried meditating and fell asleep, is that what is supposed to happen? How is it any different than sleep?


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## tranceformation (May 28, 2006)

falling asleep is not what's supposed to happen. it's never happened to me but maybe that is because I cannot sleep on my back :b

i would suggest to try again and if it doesn't work, try sitting up instead of lying down.

if none of this works, try the hypnosis file linked to earlier in this thread it is a meditation file with someone instructing things in order to relax.

this will get you a feel for how it's like to meditate. but it's better to do it without that mp3 file asap, and perhaps with some slow none vocal music, so there's no voices to distract you.

and if this kind of meditation doesn't work, there's other forms of meditation that might suit you better such as Yoga.

good luck.. :hug


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## binx005 (Jun 14, 2006)

Thanx tranceformation. This was a good post.


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## Rachelle (Jul 2, 2006)

~BUT DO NOT DISTRESS YOURSELF WITH IMAGININGS.MANY FEARS ARE BORN OF FATIGUE AND LONELINESS.BEYOND A WHOLSOME DISCIPLINE,BE GENTLE WIH YOURSELF. BY MAX ERHMANN~


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## Mngirl (Jul 13, 2006)

Thankyou for this post, I have noticed that when I feel love in whatever form (from someone else, for someone else, for something I like to do) it will override the fear and I have always known this but have forgotten the importance of love in my life


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## Grantonio (Jan 20, 2006)

I've gone through many SA treatments and meditation has proven to really help me feel relaxed and content with my surroundings, more than hardcore cognitive therapy even...i strongly recommend it! Thanks for posting this tranceformation!


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## fog (Dec 3, 2005)

great post thanks, it was inspiring


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## lostwitness (Apr 11, 2005)

Wow this reminds me of *Donnie Darko*


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## ndircukm (Jan 2, 2006)

I have Generalized anxiety, as well as social anxiety, and so i worry pretty much constantly and it keeps my body revved up. I have a really tough time meditating, cuz i cant get my heart beat down and cant get rid of the tightness in my chest. What should i do to get relaxed enough to meditate??


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## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

Very nice, especially the part about loving yourself.


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## R4ph4el (Sep 20, 2005)

@ndircukm 

you should sit down and just feel that tightness in your chest, don't try to get rid of it, don't judge on it, just watch it


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## likewater (Aug 3, 2006)

thank you tranceformation. I'm so glad you've come to such truth so early in your life, you are truly blessed. I will add that once you discover you're center you realize that it is the way we are meant to be. everything in this world is connected and emmenates 'love', you only need to open yourself to it.


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## shy_chick (Sep 27, 2006)

I'm going to look back on this later and try it.
It reminds me of the Susan Jeffers books, (feel the fear and do it anyway etc.) about how there is a love way (higher self) vs. the fear way (lower self).


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## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

This might be off on a slight tangent, but one thing I did a couple days ago that made me remember "love of myself" and joy without all the complicated things our world has put on us, is I went on websites that showed Intro clips of shows I used to watch as kids. Sites like youtube and retrojunk have almost all the shows, and it was so great. The feeling of nostalgia, I haven't seen some of those clips in almost 20 years, and it reminded me of innocent happy times when there were no worries. You guys should try it.


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## soundsgood (Nov 7, 2005)

thanks for taking the time top share that


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## ndircukm (Jan 2, 2006)

OK. I ended up really focusing on the type of thinking presented in this post. This post sparked it. I also looked at the Adyashanti website, and have read "buddhism plain and simple" by steve hagen. I have had dysthymia for as long as i can remember; i still do...but i have grown so ridiculously much in the past couple months. I understand things so much better, and can be so much more objective with everyday events, mostly lending to acceptance, and the understanding of impermanance in our world. I am only continuing to get better. I look forward to 'being' in this life from now on. I love Transformation. Thank you!


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## tranceformation (May 28, 2006)

*hello*

i never thought that people would actually take interest in this method, i'm happy that some find it useful just as I did 

at the time i posted this thread i still had minor anxiety... but over time this seemed to have dissolved completely in acceptance.

i am trying to allow everything to be as it is as much possible (not only anxiety), and i am completely stunned by the positive results.

it is very much like shy_chick says... the higher self ("god"/eternity) vs. the lower self (our egos/instinct/...)

when you put your trust in the heart, and allow the negative feelings and thoughts to just be there and feel those feelings in your heart...

instead of panicking and wishing they would go away!

then slowly the illusion of you not being enough and everything not being enough, slowly crumbles... and what's left is the state of contentment.

http://www.otoons.com/osho/osho_wake_up.htm

for more information, you can download through the bittorrent network 6 audio cd's by the spiritual teacher ADYASHANTI... which include 2 guided meditations (on cd3 i think), that teach you to meditate in the most easy and effective way.

there are also some 100 minute videos available of adyashanti, which are posted below.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=5W383AZ2 - the gift of wanting

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=IVZM8J9X - the truth that is always present

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=WO3YF3JW - falling away

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=M5OMJF6U - when truth takes over

I love his teaching because they are so ridiculously easy, he explains different things but ALWAYS it boils down to the same truth... to allow everything to be as it is.

good luck to the people that decide to take the pathless path; 
and also those which decide to stick to their own methods of trying to relieve their suffering.

share the love :kiss


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## thatswet (Oct 22, 2006)

Thanks a lot!! 

I have found that yoga is an amazing way to relieve anxiety (only for a short time, but it's worth it.) I just wish I had the motivation to continue doing it.


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## tranceformation (May 28, 2006)

well actually i have only tried physical yoga exercises a couple of times... :hide 

but if i'm not mistaken, the physical aspect of it it just very small part of it. yoga, meditation, zen, taoism... or simply allowing everything to be as it is, so you will not get caught up in illusion...

it's all sort of the same.


so for you, thatswet, if u cant get around to doing physical exercises that's not a problem... because not getting caught up in illusionary problems is not just something one must do while meditating or doing yogic postures...

it's something you should do every breath of the day...


and allowing everything to be as it is, costs a lot less effort that trying to run away from it or trying to change it. once you get that, you will have all the motivation in the earth to continue.

peace


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## mattg_303 (Aug 11, 2006)

Thanks for the post. 

I have found meditation to be a great way to quieten down the negative thoughts that keep popping into our heads. I have also noticed a similarity between the cognitive side of CBT and Meditation. Both of these methods focus on eliminating the Automatic Negative Thoughts that spin around our heads. 

The true way to get over this anxiety disorder and to live a fulfilling, satisfying life appears to lie in living in the present moment and acknowledging that the past and future are only mental images which are cause by the result of our incessant thinking. A couple of books which have really hammered this message home for me are "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle and "Stop Thinking Start Living" by Richard Carlson. 

Although I am still not over my social anxiety disorder; everyday I feel I am getting closer and closer to inner peace and understanding.


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## 40watta (Oct 12, 2008)

thanks, im gonna try the meditation


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## contranigma (Jun 24, 2009)

Do you feel like these inner, core feelings of love can be experienced any other way besides meditation? I know people who believe in a similar spiritual connectedness to their cores by taking hallucinogens such as mushrooms or lsd. Personally, I have not had the experience yet, with drugs or with meditation. But this post has inspired me to try meditation again.


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