# My therapist says that she doesn't think I have social anxiety?



## Cherry Quartz (Jul 6, 2012)

My therapist says she doesn't think I have social anxiety, she just thinks I have major anxiety in general.
"A person with social anxiety wouldn't be out black Friday shopping, and a person with social anxiety would rather be content with just a few friendships- but you've expressed multiple times that you would like to have many more in your life in addition to the few you have, only anxiety and feelings of awkwardness stop you."
For some reason, I'm not sure if I should trust that reasoning. If I don't have social anxiety, than I have no clue what social anxiety is. Sure, I self diagnosed myself with social anxiety years ago, but I've been roaming the SAS site for years relating to situations described by so many here.


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## Joe (May 18, 2010)

wanting friends has nothing to do with sa, it's copmletely irrelevant to whether someone has it or not


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Anxiety in general is relatable. SA is when a person has extreme fear of social situations. The fear of being judged, watched, and criticized by others. I mean you might have it. Having a label means nothing though. Your still a person who has mental issues that needs help.


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## Findedeux (Mar 16, 2012)

Well, I would think I have social anxiety and I don't get bothered at all about shopping.

I'm not going to duel the 45yr old dad for the Bluray copy of Avengers but still....

And when I'm at home cooking or reading or talking on the internet I have ZERO anxiety.

Are you pretty much anxious all the time or just when dealing with people/social situations?


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

Isn't social anxiety all about being anxious in social situations such as worrying whether you're good enough or not to those you're socializing with? I believe what your therapist means is that you don't only have one type of anxiety because there are many. PTSD, OCD, Agoraphobia etc.


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## VanDamme (Jun 8, 2004)

Cherry Quartz said:


> My therapist says she doesn't think I have social anxiety, she just thinks I have major anxiety in general.
> "A person with social anxiety wouldn't be out black Friday shopping, and a person with social anxiety would rather be content with just a few friendships- but you've expressed multiple times that you would like to have many more in your life in addition to the few you have, only anxiety and feelings of awkwardness stop you."
> For some reason, I'm not sure if I should trust that reasoning. If I don't have social anxiety, than I have no clue what social anxiety is. Sure, I self diagnosed myself with social anxiety years ago, but I've been roaming the SAS site for years relating to situations described by so many here.


I wouldn't get too attached to any label. Sometimes, labels can be useful to help look for further resources or ways to deal with a situation but can also be limiting.

For example, even social anxiety covers a lot of different types issues. For some the issue is worry of fear about being judged, for others it's about being rejected, etc.

So, it's better to focus on the specific issue that you have and create a plan of action for changing it or coping with it.


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## meandernorth (Nov 12, 2014)

I'd think less about the label and more about ways to push through. Regardless of what label is diagnosed, it doesn't change the situation. If your therapist can help you work through your challenges, then that's probably more important than anything else.


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## NuthinSimple (Jul 5, 2015)

I think your therapist shouldn't be a therapist. 

I for one, find something refreshing about large crowds because there's no focus on me as an individual. 
Maybe it's a matter of semantics but I see social anxiety as being anxious in situations where I'm actively socializing, not being in large groups of people.. I think there's a word for that.


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## InTheWorldOfNiM (Oct 3, 2010)

NuthinSimple said:


> I think your therapist shouldn't be a therapist.
> 
> I for one, find something refreshing about large crowds because there's no focus on me as an individual.
> Maybe it's a matter of semantics but I see social anxiety as being anxious in situations where I'm actively socializing, not being in large groups of people.. I think there's a word for that.


Yeah I agree that therapist doesn't really understand. like you said, crowds are easy for the simple fact that there is no focus on us as individuals. it's when we actively socialize that we start to feel the pressure to perform to an acceptable social standard.


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## anxious87 (Oct 6, 2013)

She might be confusing sa with introversion. They often go hand in hand(not the right phrase), but not necessarily.


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

Cherry Quartz said:


> My therapist says she doesn't think I have social anxiety, she just thinks I have major anxiety in general.
> "A person with social anxiety wouldn't be out black Friday shopping, and a person with social anxiety would rather be content with just a few friendships- but you've expressed multiple times that you would like to have many more in your life in addition to the few you have, only anxiety and feelings of awkwardness stop you."
> For some reason, I'm not sure if I should trust that reasoning. If I don't have social anxiety, than I have no clue what social anxiety is. Sure, I self diagnosed myself with social anxiety years ago, but I've been roaming the SAS site for years relating to situations described by so many here.


A person with *agoraphobia* wouldn't be out shopping.
A person with *introversion* is content with few friends.


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## Bloat (Jan 24, 2014)

What sort of therapists do you guys see?


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## BeInTheHereAndNow (Jan 14, 2016)

Cherry Quartz said:


> My therapist says she doesn't think I have social anxiety, she just thinks I have major anxiety in general.
> "A person with social anxiety wouldn't be out black Friday shopping, and a person with social anxiety would rather be content with just a few friendships- but you've expressed multiple times that you would like to have many more in your life in addition to the few you have, only anxiety and feelings of awkwardness stop you."
> For some reason, I'm not sure if I should trust that reasoning. If I don't have social anxiety, than I have no clue what social anxiety is. Sure, I self diagnosed myself with social anxiety years ago, but I've been roaming the SAS site for years relating to situations described by so many here.


Sounds like nonsense from her end. Social anxiety does not mean you would "black out" shopping. Infact i've never "blacked out" or fainted, I don't actually think my body is capable of that.

I can go shopping and be fine until say I get to the checkouts and then my heart will start beating like a base drum and time and motion will slow down and the whole room starts swirling.

It's a horrible feeling but I've never blacked out.

Do you feel like you can't face social interactions like meeting family/friends & being in a group? I've missed out on a lot of those sort of things because of the fear from SA.


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## Chris444 (Jan 13, 2016)

InTheWorldOfNiM said:


> Yeah I agree that therapist doesn't really understand. like you said, crowds are easy for the simple fact that there is no focus on us as individuals. it's when we actively socialize that we start to feel the pressure to perform to an acceptable social standard.


Me too. I feel, sometimes, that crowds can make it easier to "blend in" compared to passing by somebody going for a walk or entering a small local business where an employee is likely going to focus on you since you may be one of just a few people in the store.


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## SickAndTiredofSA (Mar 31, 2015)

Joe said:


> wanting friends has nothing to do with sa, it's completely irrelevant to whether someone has it or not


agreed


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## oopsiecoopsie (Jan 6, 2016)

BeInTheHereAndNow said:


> Sounds like nonsense from her end. Social anxiety does not mean you would "black out" shopping. Infact i've never "blacked out" or fainted, I don't actually think my body is capable of that.
> 
> I can go shopping and be fine until say I get to the checkouts and then my heart will start beating like a base drum and time and motion will slow down and the whole room starts swirling.
> 
> ...


I think the therapist was referring to Black Friday, one of the busiest shopping periods of the year  People go out in their masses to grab bargains. I have SA but shopping doesn't faze me (in fact I love it ha!), as other posters have said, it's when the focus is on yourself that I feel anxious and tense.


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