# I found the girl of my dreams.. She likes my best friend. And he likes her. HELP!



## Ninetales (Jan 6, 2012)

_One day I am going to re-read this. You might be wrong about her being the girl of your dreams?!_

I am not the kind of person who spices things up and gets excited, I am saying my story with logical truth:​
There is this girl I liked her the first day I saw her in University. Same class.
But I thought for a beauty like hers; she must have a bad personality, and over confident and arrogant.

I never look at girls' "looks". Only when I know them I judge their personality.

Jump 1 year later. We end up the same class again.
This time working with her along with my best friend.

Her personality was just awesome. Forget how beautiful she was outside, inside; her inner beauty was superb. Religious, gorgeous, creative; I knew I was in love the perfect girl. She inspired me. She made me a better person (helping me indirectly against SA. Ofc she and no one know I have SA.)

BUT my friend likes her too.

Firstly about my friend: He is one of the only people I walk and talk with at University. Not "bestFriend" but more of an only friend.
He is awesome and extremely kind and friendly and has many friends. Unlike me. But is still near my side, always there when I need him.

We are both friends with the girl.

---
But I realize from the gestures and gifts he really likes her, more than classmates. And she really likes him. And there is smthg going on between them. I can feel it.

They look cute and perfect together. :blank Perhaps I am just too kind?

But what about me? :blank

I let one girl, my first crush, get away with my best friend once at school years ago.

I won't forgive my self if I repeat it.
But neither will I forgive myself if I start to take her away from him. 
I can't possibly think of anyone having all those characteristics.

What about me?
What should I do about them?
They are the best classmates and we will be next to each other until we graduate.
This is confusing.
I get jealous and I get happy.

Anyone, what would you do and how?
Anyone. I want to know what YOU will do if you were me.

EDIT: I said something once infront of them and a few other people that I really like her.
But I sometimes say stuff that make them close to each other. That I know he likes her.
She knows I like her. He knows I like her. She likes him more. Anything I can do?
He is my best friend and a very kind person too.


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## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

I'm going to start a bootcamp for SA men one day.


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## hazelblue (Jun 6, 2012)

She's not the girl of your dreams if she has no romantic interest in you. You can't do anything about the situation, nor should you... sorry.


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## prisonofmind (Apr 12, 2013)

You said it yourself, "I won't forgive myself if I repeat it."

Show her you're into her. Love is something you need to be selfish for.


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## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

Sounds like your only option is.


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## Ninetales (Jan 6, 2012)

hazelblue said:


> She's not the girl of your dreams if she has no romantic interest in you. You can't do anything about the situation, nor should you... sorry.


This hurts. The truth in this hurts. I will remember this. Thanks.

But I hope deep under you are wrong. I need to observe the case infront of me when I am with them next time.

I am not the kind of guy who runs after girls. I believe the nice ones come through life. And they did. But this one is the most perfect of 'em all.
Should I let go? Should I fight in? No matter what the 3 are going to meet one way or another (same classes, we 3 are best groups every time too)

I need everyone and anyones opinion.. Please!


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## hihello (Apr 27, 2013)

Oh wow! This is like the perfect romantic comedy plotline. Well, ultimately, the decision really comes down to her. Both you and your friend like her, and she has to choose which one of you two she likes more. The harsh reality might be that she likes your friend more. But the only thing you can control is the fact that she gets to know you, for who you are! If she knows the real, genuine you and chooses your friend...well then, it just might be that you guys aren't meant to be! Just be yourself and show her how much you care, but that's all you really can do. Good luck


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## Ninetales (Jan 6, 2012)

hihello said:


> Oh wow! This is like the perfect romantic comedy plotline. Well, ultimately, the decision really comes down to her. Both you and your friend like her, and she has to choose which one of you two she likes more. The harsh reality might be that she likes your friend more. But the only thing you can control is the fact that she gets to know you, for who you are! If she knows the real, genuine you and chooses your friend...well then, it just might be that you guys aren't meant to be! Just be yourself and show her how much you care, but that's all you really can do. Good luck


Aww thanks for the bitter-sweet words.

And I always thought my life as a romantic comdic plotline!! Haha how awesome!

I guess time will tell. Your words will be saved with me <3


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## graymatter (Mar 31, 2011)

Have you considered talking to your friend about this whole situation? It might seem weird, but I think it's a better idea than going around him and telling her how you feel, or living with the regret of never knowing what could have happened.


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## Raphael200 (Aug 18, 2012)

Well?What do U think?

Friend gets girl of your dreams or u gets girl of your dreams!!!!!!!


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## Ninetales (Jan 6, 2012)

Guys, lets just say they really like each other, giving gifts and stuff.

My friend is a quiet introvert guy. Perhaps a bit shy too. Nerdy.
She is this popular awesome gorgeous girl.


And I think they are oblivious of each other in love? All I know they know they like each other too much.

It is nice to see he made it and how happy he is with her.

Is she my dream girl? I dont know. I dont want to. I wouldn't say she matches my personality, but she sure is awesome.


I am going to bed to cry now.
First, I shed a tear of happiness for him. 

Then, I'll cry until I fall asleep. Waking up tomorrow knowing she likes him more at the end.


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## vanilla90 (Jun 22, 2010)

This is like the story to Love Actually, but this time no one laughs


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## ChuckBrown (Jul 2, 2013)

That sucks dude. In my case they always go for the other guy. Why? I just don't know.


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## vanilla90 (Jun 22, 2010)

vanilla90 said:


> This is like the story to Love Actually, but this time no one laughs


Just realised no one laughed at 'Love Actually' anyway, so this would just be a brutal, slasher thriller.


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## HeartTree (Jul 15, 2013)

Hi Ninetales, I am sorry to hear that you going through this tough time. Unfortunately, I do not know you or how strong of a relationship between you and your friend and between you and the girl. Therefore, it is touch to advise you on what you should do. However, being a girl, I can tell you that girls are very perceptive to body language, tones, gestures, etc. If you are head-over-heels over this girl, then it is likely that she notices it. The thing is how does she interpret these things? That you like her, that you dislike her, that something is wrong with her, or something is wrong with you? She probably won't figure you out unless you are truthful to her. Speaking the truth about how you feel takes extraordinary courage, and in my experience, when someone confesses his love to me, I deeply appreciated it and I remembered it well. Once the air is clear, it is so much easier to relate to the person who made the confession. It may be awkward at first, but let's say the relationship between your friend and the girl does not work out. She will still remember how sweet you are and even give you a chance. And if she is as wonderful and understanding as you described her to be, I think it is worth the shot to be honest to her. And if you think you will go for that route, then a simple way to start a conversation is, "can I have a moment of your time." Once you found a quiet place, then tell her, "I have something important that I want to share with you. It is very difficult for me to share it with you, but I want to let you know...." The other alternative is to wait, but remain good friends with both of them. Emotionally support her when she is going through a tough time. Just be a good friend. The sweet side of you and maybe even the loving side of you will show through time and maybe she will come to appreciate it.


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## purplebutterfly (Apr 24, 2013)

Sounds like the plot of a teen rom-com


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## NeuromorPhish (Oct 11, 2012)

Hm, this story reminds of Haruki Murakami's Norwegian Wood.


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## Reckoner7 (Jan 29, 2007)

Situation sucks but sometimes you have to accept the fact that someone you like doesn't like you the same way. Firstly I'd talk to your friend about her and how he feels. Then if you want talk to her and see if she feels the same way about you.

As others have said she's not the girl of your dreams cos the girl of your dreams would like you back right? If it doesn't work out the way you want best to move on and focus on finding someone else, plenty more fish in the sea and all that.


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## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

hazelblue said:


> She's not the girl of your dreams if she has no romantic interest in you. You can't do anything about the situation, nor should you... sorry.


This. Stop idolizing someone you can't know without dating. You don't love her, you are infatuated with her therefore she cannot be the girl of your dreams. I would move on and find someone that actually likes me back if I was you.


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## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

graymatter said:


> Have you considered talking to your friend about this whole situation? It might seem weird, but I think it's a better idea than going around him and telling her how you feel, or living with the regret of never knowing what could have happened.


talk to the friend ? bullsh!t ...my guess is he's just as selfishly pursuing her, as you *wish *you were doing right now.

When I entered university a roommate of mine was giving me advice on how to get this girl that I liked. Then I found out that he was hitting on her the whole time. moral of the story.

BE SELFISH WITH LOVE. BROS B4 HO'S IS A FALLACY. YOUR HEART COMES FIRST, BEFORE ANY OTHER MALE 'FRIEND'


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## Glass Child (Feb 28, 2013)

Dude just drop it
There are hundreds of thousands of other girls out there who are pretty, successful and kind.


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## cliffclavin (May 21, 2013)

Glass Child said:


> Dude just drop it
> There are hundreds of thousands of other girls out there who are pretty, successful and kind.


This. Not to mention she has no interest in him and you can't be in love with someone you've never even dated before. You just really like her/are obsessed with her. Get over it and find a girl that likes you back. Easier said than done, but it's the truth.


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## whatevzers (Jan 26, 2012)

I'm not sure what I would do if I were in your shoes, but the way it plays out in my mind is different. Its easier said that done, but you should go for what you want, no matter what the circumstances and consequences are. You should probably just tell them both how you feel and let them take it however they want. You might later regret not knowing what would have been if you'd have gone through with it.


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## cliffclavin (May 21, 2013)

She isn't interested in him. His best option is to stop being obsessed with her and move on.


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## kingkoala (Nov 5, 2014)

Dude I'm going through the exact same thing right now and the only thing you can do is get over her...I knew they liked each other and i told my best friend for 5 years now that he shouldn't worry about me and he should go out with her....that's what you don't to you speek up if you can make them know. If you don't you walk in on them having sex like me and you have night mares about it and it really breaks your heart thinking about your best friend fooling around with the girl your crushing on.. It really sucks but what you do is take ur mind off of both of them for a while simply take a break. And when ur ready to hang out with them and ur completely over her. Maybe then you'll feel happy and OK with ur best Friend taking your girl but one thing I've learned about this is its no ones fault when things like this and as much as I hate this phrase its true... Things happen for a reason


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## eveningbat (Jan 21, 2013)

It's a sad and hurtful story. 

However, maybe some time later she will change her mind and become fond of you, you never know.


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## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

If i was you i would not do a thing she likes him and he likes her so let them go for it and you have had two girls of your dreams??? Maybe 3rd will be 100 times better


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## Silere (Oct 19, 2014)

You know it's gonna hurt like hell when you see them together don't you? You should make an effort with her, not too strongly, but you will know if she can like you or not. If she can, then carry on with her, if not then let her go and be happy for them. But I think you can only be happy, once you know the possibilities.

Feel free to ignore this advice as it is unprofessional and I'm not experienced in relationships.


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

Your mistake was investing your feelings in someone you're not involved with.

If you see a girl you like, ask her out. If you do go out then allow your feelings for her to grow as the relationship grows. If she doesn't go out with you just think of her as one of millions of girls you'll find attractive.

Whatever you do never fixate.Shy quiet guys tend to fixate on one woman and build an absurd fantasy around her. Then they proceed to never even make an attempt to get the girl they like.

Now that you have feeling for her you're screwed. It's bad enough to not get the girl but then to see your friend get her burns.

The only cure is another girl. If you're alone while they're going out, kissing each other in the halls you will be miserable. You absolutely have to find a girlfriend.

P.S. are you sure she's into your friend? Girls can be hard to read.


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