# Parents don't understand?



## tealcat (Jun 28, 2013)

Sometimes I feel my parents don't understand my Social Anxiety... although I was diagnosed in high school. My dad will yell/rush me through things or my mom will perceive my reaction to a social situation once in awhile as rude.

We went to Australia on vacation around the time I was diagnosed, and my father yelled at me several times for no reason, then I'd get upset and my mom would just tell me to get over it... but, since I'm Social Anxiety, that's not the easiest thing. It still bothers me a little to think about. I'm extremely sensitive, and also sensitive to loud noises/yelling. Even when it's not a big deal, I don't like it and my brain perceives it as bad and I get upset easily. Then sometimes I'll start crying and I don't like crying in public, so I'll be anxious about that.

Fast forward to the present, I'm out of college and living home again, and somehow to them it's like I was cured/grew out of it completely but I haven't. My dad will yell and rush me to do things, like chores in the morning, even though in the morning I have my routines to try to get rid of anxiety (music and writing, tea...). He has to comment that "you're just sitting up there doing nothing" and that bothers me and now I'm a tad anxious for nothing, when he could just say "Do some vacuuming later" and leave it at that. I don't know if this just seems like complaining x.x

We'll be out somewhere, or something social will happen that I'm not comfortable with and they don't understand that still, so they'll make a big deal and it'll make me more anxious. Then I have to remind them that I have an anxiety disorder.

Thanks for any comments/suggestions/feedback if you could get through that.


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## firestar (Jun 27, 2009)

Sorry to hear your parents are like that. In my experience, people who don't have SA just can't understand it. I gave up on my parents understanding a long time ago, but even people who are close to me and who have tried to be sympathetic just haven't been able to understand why I act the way I do sometimes.


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## Esugi78 (Jun 9, 2013)

firestar said:


> Sorry to hear your parents are like that. In my experience, people who don't have SA just can't understand it. I gave up on my parents understanding a long time ago, but even people who are close to me and who have tried to be sympathetic just haven't been able to understand why I act the way I do sometimes.


True this, which is why up until I found this forum I thought I was the only person that feels like I can't connect to other person.

As for your parents, since they can't understand it (and I wouldn't blame them, I also believe that people that don't have SA can really understand us. I have a cousin that I've been close to since I was a kid, I know I can rely and fully trust him and he can do the same to me but the best that he can do is just trying to understand when I'm secluding myself, he don't know why nor do I expect him to)...

err back to my point, since they can't understand it, they feel bad in the inside and they do/say things that they thought would help if they were in that situation "You're just sitting up there doing nothing" would be his way of encouraging you to be more active I guess but since he can't fathom your hyper-sensitivity (I'm hyper-sensitive so I know what that's like ) he says it in a way that he knows how

There's one thing that I want to say though, that I hope you don't use SA as an excuse. To overcome SA you can't be passive and hope that the other person understands it, you have to push yourself and meet them in the middle.


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## aGenericUsername (Apr 7, 2013)

"You're just sitting up there doing nothing" Sounds exactly like something my dad would say. He thinks I'm lazy just because I enjoy playing video games, which is why I've started volunteering to do things with him. Maybe you could try the same? That would probably work better than explaining things to them. People never seem to want to listen to other people's problems..


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