# I did it, and you can too



## sadhappy (Oct 19, 2012)

Hey Everyone,

I'm a Social Anxiety Disorder survivor. Now, I'm considered an *extrovert*. I'm here to tell you guys how I got better, on my own, without meds, and without therapy. 

And I believe anyone can do it!!!

It all started when I was very young, I was always shy. I was too afraid to try out for sports, dance, etc. and was always terrified to go to social gatherings. This caused me to have social rejection very often. Who wants to hang out with the girl who doesn't do anything? I never used to have issues communicating with people, however. I was mainly just very shy in group settings and always felt like I wasn't as good as everyone else when performing any task, whether it be chemistry lab or a sport. Not believing I could do it actually caused me to mess up. Basically - I did not believe in myself. So no one else believed in me either, go figure. 

Then, it got even worse. I got into an emotionally abusive relationship at the age of 23, and he drained any little confidence I had left in me. I started to feel that I had tons of trouble just simply communicating with others. I couldn't even explain things very well anymore. To top it all off, I was in a prestigious MBA program which required me to engage and participate in class on a daily basis. Well, I eventually got rid of the boyfriend. But, was still left with a broken self-esteem and a very high degree of SAD at that point - not fun when I was applying for internships. 

Somehow though, things started to come together very slowly. I got an incredible internship with a fortune 500 company which I never thought would happen. It was just what I needed to boost my confidence and self-esteem so I could progress in the right direction. I read a book on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy book on Social Anxiety (you should too) and it really taught me that most of the thoughts that were in my head were very illogical and irrational. Going through the exercises in the book really helped me. 

***I also told myself that I was just as capable as anyone else and could do anything I set my mind to if I tried~ something I never believed before. 

This helped me the most-- simply believing in myself and doing things that scared me -- like participating in class - it freaked me the f* out, and the first few times I was scared and maybe stumbled/ messed up a bit, but I kept participating anyway and now I love it!! I love how engaged I feel in class by contributing. 

So basically, a few pieces of advice:
1) get rid of the people in your life that are putting you down/ lowering your confidence
2) get rid of the illogical thinking patterns (i.e. what if I fall flat on my face while walking to the podium? -- this is an example - because the chances of that happening are slim to none!)
3) believe that you are capable of communicating well and doing *anything* just as well as anybody else (or better)
4) do the things that scare you -- take baby steps tho! you will get tons and tons better i promise!

GOOD LUCK, you can do it!!! I don't believe SAD is incurable like many other psychological disorders... I just think it takes a little patience, determination, bravery, and confidence... soon you will outshine others!


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## AdamChem (Jul 2, 2012)

Thanks for the advice, I always enjoy hearing from survivors 
I think, for me, 2) is the hardest part - I can work it all through rationally and fully know that these thinking patterns are illogical - but they'll still override me. As far as my mind and body is concerned the issues are drastically bigger than they are, regardless of any rational thinking.

It sounds like the internship was a big turning point for you. Would you mind elaborating on how you came about that?


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## sporteous (Mar 26, 2012)

I believe you. I've got to make a start on the leaning into situations that scare me more and being truthful with people, and become authentic without trying to put on some fake show so people will accept me.


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## pck (Oct 21, 2012)

1) is basically to change your current situation, which I think is the most practical advice. As for 2) I recommend some serious buddhist reading. I don't endorse any religious activity here, just something to change your perspective.

3) sound kinda fuzzy. As for 4) I've been trying to embrace bad feelings, getting myself into bad situations, until I calm down and realize it's not really that bad and I can live with it.


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## godhelpme2 (Apr 4, 2012)

My anxiety i would say is practically 90% gone now, the only thing I fear are parties and job interviews. But at school I have made a complete 180, and I'm talking and laughing in my classes and actually am not considered the quiet one anymore. Some guy actualy threw a bottle at me (as a joke, he's my friend) because I was talking so much and he wanted me to shut up  it sucks I'm about to graduate as soon as I am starting to become capable of a comfortable friendship :/


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## Cileroot (Mar 6, 2012)

Also an "almost" survivor  

Tips here do work and I just want to emphasize about no. 4 that you DO have to take baby steps, because if you convince yourself that you can go to a party when you haven't even started to feel comfortable in participating in class discussions or feeling comfy around a group of 4-6 people then going to that party and not having anything to do but be nervous, stressed and worried the whole time in a party will make you believe you are this special person who just cannot ever overcome SAD.

Why I'm "almost" survivor is that I still can't go to cafeterias, restaurants and such places and I haven't had any possibilities to cure my love-shyness which is a part of SAD. But all the rest I can do and feel good while doing them


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## redbuttersky (Oct 27, 2012)

sadhappy said:


> .
> So basically, a few pieces of advice:
> 1) get rid of the people in your life that are putting you down/ lowering your confidence
> 2) get rid of the illogical thinking patterns (i.e. what if I fall flat on my face while walking to the podium? -- this is an example - because the chances of that happening are slim to none!)
> ...


Quote for life! Thank you!!


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## ryobi (Jan 13, 2009)

#1 sounds good all of them sound good but that one sounds great-lol


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## jonny neurotic (Jan 20, 2011)

It's like riding a bike. At first you can't keep the thing balanced and keep falling off. Then you start to get the hang of it. Then you are comfortable with it and can cycle to where ever you like. But some people need stablisers on their bike to get them going to begin with. Meds are stablisers...


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