# Moving to Japan



## pinkkawaii (Oct 23, 2015)

So I had been planning on going to school in Japan for years now and now it's finaly happening. We're supposed to leave in a few hours for the airport. But the closer it gets to leaving, the more panicky I get. Family and friends have been contacting me and telling me how happy they are for me, getting excited for me, giving donations. I honestly don't even want to go anymore becuase I can't bear the anxiety it's causing. I feel a lot of pressure and that I've trapped myself in this situation. I feel like I'll let everyone down who's rooting for me if I don't go. I would waste a lot of money. And I might regret it for the rest of my life. I just don't know what to do at this point. Maybe I'll have a panic attack and miss my flight.


----------



## slowlyimproving (Jan 2, 2014)

pinkkawaii said:


> So I had been planning on going to school in Japan for years now and now it's finaly happening. We're supposed to leave in a few hours for the airport. But the closer it gets to leaving, the more panicky I get. Family and friends have been contacting me and telling me how happy they are for me, getting excited for me, giving donations. I honestly don't even want to go anymore becuase I can't bear the anxiety it's causing. I feel a lot of pressure and that I've trapped myself in this situation. I feel like I'll let everyone down who's rooting for me if I don't go. I would waste a lot of money. And I might regret it for the rest of my life. I just don't know what to do at this point. Maybe I'll have a panic attack and miss my flight.


GOOOO! You can bear the anxiety, don't be afraid of the feeling. It won't kill you. You'll feel a lot better once you arrive.

When you get to Japan, order this book. "feeling good" by David Burns.


----------



## pinkkawaii (Oct 23, 2015)

slowlyimproving said:


> pinkkawaii said:
> 
> 
> > So I had been planning on going to school in Japan for years now and now it's finaly happening. We're supposed to leave in a few hours for the airport. But the closer it gets to leaving, the more panicky I get. Family and friends have been contacting me and telling me how happy they are for me, getting excited for me, giving donations. I honestly don't even want to go anymore becuase I can't bear the anxiety it's causing. I feel a lot of pressure and that I've trapped myself in this situation. I feel like I'll let everyone down who's rooting for me if I don't go. I would waste a lot of money. And I might regret it for the rest of my life. I just don't know what to do at this point. Maybe I'll have a panic attack and miss my flight.
> ...


What if I don't feel better? What if I feel worse? I'll be stuck in a foreign country with anxiety that I can do nothing about. That really scares me!


----------



## AlishaDawn (Jul 20, 2014)

Honestly, you will regret it if you don't go.


----------



## slowlyimproving (Jan 2, 2014)

pinkkawaii said:


> What if I don't feel better? What if I feel worse? I'll be stuck in a foreign country with anxiety that I can do nothing about. That really scares me!


Find out what the fears are behind those feelings and CHALLENGE them. Maybe you feel inadequate? You're no less of a person than anyone else. Japan will be an amazing experience, so much to see, so many future stories to tell. GO. You can do it!


----------



## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Stop thinking of all the bad things that can happen but the good things you will see and experience. Japan sounds fun. Good luck.


----------



## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

pinkkawaii said:


> So I had been planning on going to school in Japan for years now and now it's finaly happening. We're supposed to leave in a few hours for the airport. But the closer it gets to leaving, the more panicky I get. Family and friends have been contacting me and telling me how happy they are for me, getting excited for me, giving donations. I honestly don't even want to go anymore becuase I can't bear the anxiety it's causing. I feel a lot of pressure and that I've trapped myself in this situation. I feel like I'll let everyone down who's rooting for me if I don't go. I would waste a lot of money. And I might regret it for the rest of my life. I just don't know what to do at this point. Maybe I'll have a panic attack and miss my flight.


Have you been to Japan before or is this your first time out of the country?

For some reason I always feel less anxiety when I leave my own country - I'm not sure why but it could be that there are less associations in a new place, no history so to speak. Hopefully it might be like that for you too.

Have you made it to the airport yet? 
__________________


----------



## apx24 (Jan 31, 2012)

You'll regret it if you don't go. I had to move to France when I was 19 and I was terrified as well, but it was liberating to be far away from everyone else in my life. You have an amazing opportunity to grow as a person here.


----------



## pinkkawaii (Oct 23, 2015)

I just boarded, too late to turn back now. I stayed up all night contemplating what I was gonna do and even told my mom that I wasn't gonna go. But here I am. My beliefs were confirmed. My SA is already worse. This whole morning has been nothing but awkward. Ugh I guess I'll see what happens when I get there.


----------



## StuckInMyHead (Mar 25, 2013)

Try it out. If it proves too much for you, you can always turn around. I don't think you are trapped.
But I think I know how you feel.
Last summer I went to Thailand by myself. I have been traveling before, but it has always been with family. This time I wanted to try to go alone. I had been planning to go backpacking in Thailand for at least a month. But I took a plane home again after spending 5 days in Bangkok. It was just too crowded.
Looking back, I don't think I gave it my best shot. I do regret that, but it was also a relief to come home.

Actually my initial plan was to go to Japan, since I have been there a few times with my family, and I feel really comfortable with the culture, the people and the way they behave socially. I kinda wish I had stuck with that plan.
If it is your first time going there, I think you are gonna love it.

So my advice is; give it your best shot. And if it proves too difficult, there's always a way out.

I wish you the best of luck!


----------



## purechaos (Dec 18, 2013)

Go that's a fantastic opportunity, congratulations!


----------



## RandomGentleman (Aug 4, 2014)

Can you speak the language?


----------



## CrazyRedhed (Jul 3, 2015)

Looks like you made it. I lived in Japan a few years and I won't lie, it's not easy. Feel free to drop me a message when you're freaking out or having intense culture shock. I won't judge anything you say because I've been there and I know how it is!


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I'm so jealous good luck  I'm projecting a bit but it is generally true that you regret the things you don't do more.


----------



## pinkkawaii (Oct 23, 2015)

slowlyimproving said:


> Find out what the fears are behind those feelings and CHALLENGE them. Maybe you feel inadequate? You're no less of a person than anyone else. Japan will be an amazing experience, so much to see, so many future stories to tell. GO. You can do it!


I guess I fear that I won't feel as comfortable in Japan as I thought. Along with my SA, the higher possibility of natural disasters, and being away from my family, I'm not sure how comfortable I'll be able to get. My anxiety is already worse and I haven't even gotten there yet


----------



## slowlyimproving (Jan 2, 2014)

pinkkawaii said:


> I guess I fear that I won't feel as comfortable in Japan as I thought. Along with my SA, the higher possibility of natural disasters, and being away from my family, I'm not sure how comfortable I'll be able to get. My anxiety is already worse and I haven't even gotten there yet


The chance of a natural disaster is so slim that it's irrational. How do you know how comfortable or uncomfortable you'll be? Just go and give it your best.

Read this book: "Feeling Good" by David Burns


----------



## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

You'll do fine..

Trust me, you'll have more regrets if you dont go..whats life I you dont live it? Nothing but a wasted existence. 

So go and have fun.


----------



## pinkkawaii (Oct 23, 2015)

don said:


> Have you been to Japan before or is this your first time out of the country?
> 
> For some reason I always feel less anxiety when I leave my own country - I'm not sure why but it could be that there are less associations in a new place, no history so to speak. Hopefully it might be like that for you too.
> 
> ...


It'll be my first time in Japan. I've been out of the country but never without my mom. I'm on my layover in LA now, so there's no turning back now :afr


StuckInMyHead said:


> Try it out. If it proves too much for you, you can always turn around. I don't think you are trapped.
> But I think I know how you feel.
> Last summer I went to Thailand by myself. I have been traveling before, but it has always been with family. This time I wanted to try to go alone. I had been planning to go backpacking in Thailand for at least a month. But I took a plane home again after spending 5 days in Bangkok. It was just too crowded.
> Looking back, I don't think I gave it my best shot. I do regret that, but it was also a relief to come home.
> ...


It'll be my first time there! I know I will love it, I just have to get passed the difficulties. I feel trapped because basically once I'm there, I'm there. There was too much time, money, and effort put into this for me to drop out. Plus I've transferred before and it won't look good if I transfer a third time.


----------



## pinkkawaii (Oct 23, 2015)

RandomGentleman said:


> Can you speak the language?


Yes!


CrazyRedhed said:


> Looks like you made it. I lived in Japan a few years and I won't lie, it's not easy. Feel free to drop me a message when you're freaking out or having intense culture shock. I won't judge anything you say because I've been there and I know how it is!


Thank you! I'm gonna need all of the support that I can get! Where did you live?


----------



## pinkkawaii (Oct 23, 2015)

slowlyimproving said:


> The chance of a natural disaster is so slim that it's irrational. How do you know how comfortable or uncomfortable you'll be? Just go and give it your best.
> 
> Read this book: "Feeling Good" by David Burns


I'm the kind of person who does research on everything. Apparently, Tokyo can expect a huge blowout earthquake sometime in the near future. And I'm judging how anxious I'm gonna be there by how anxious I am now. Very anxious.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

How long will you be there?


----------



## pinkkawaii (Oct 23, 2015)

komorikun said:


> How long will you be there?


For about 2 and a half years but I'll be back in the states for summer breaks.


----------



## P1e2 (Jan 18, 2014)

Japan is an awesome place and have been fortunate enough to visit Okinawa and have been thru Tokyo airport a few times. Moving is stressful and fun at the same time. Do you have support in Japan such as family, friends or work colleagues?


----------



## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

yea i was a nervous wreck the week or so leading up to my departure. that's completely normal. but once i got here it was alright. i had/have a community of sorts. plus the newness and excitement of everything overtook the anxiety for the first little bit. your school probably has events/orientation/support system for international students, take advantage of that. it helps so, so much to have people that you can turn to.

feel free to message me about stuff. i mean i probably won't be of much help lol. but at the very least i can offer some moral support


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

don said:


> For some reason I always feel less anxiety when I leave my own country - I'm not sure why but it could be that there are less associations in a new place, no history so to speak. Hopefully it might be like that for you too.


It's really interesting Don, because I think I'll feel the same way when I go to Indonesia!


----------



## indielife (Jun 17, 2015)

Moving to Japan used to be my dream at one point, but it never materialized. If anything, do it for me, just kidding. 

You're going to regret it for you don't do it, that much you know for sure. What's the worst thing that could happen? If it becomes unbearable you could always just end your stay in Japan and go back home.


----------



## pinkkawaii (Oct 23, 2015)

P1e2 said:


> Japan is an awesome place and have been fortunate enough to visit Okinawa and have been thru Tokyo airport a few times. Moving is stressful and fun at the same time. Do you have support in Japan such as family, friends or work colleagues?


Yes, I have extended family, American, and Japanese friends here. And I have made a few friends so far. I just hope the friendships last. 


bad baby said:


> yea i was a nervous wreck the week or so leading up to my departure. that's completely normal. but once i got here it was alright. i had/have a community of sorts. plus the newness and excitement of everything overtook the anxiety for the first little bit. your school probably has events/orientation/support system for international students, take advantage of that. it helps so, so much to have people that you can turn to.
> 
> feel free to message me about stuff. i mean i probably won't be of much help lol. but at the very least i can offer some moral support


We had orientation and I was able to make a few friends. My SA has been a lot worse here but they accept me anyway. I do have a question. How are you able to deal with the super packed trains? It's so uncomfortable to me!


indielife said:


> Moving to Japan used to be my dream at one point, but it never materialized. If anything, do it for me, just kidding.
> 
> You're going to regret it for you don't do it, that much you know for sure. What's the worst thing that could happen? If it becomes unbearable you could always just end your stay in Japan and go back home.


You should come here! Tokyo is perfect! It's everything I expected and I don't regret my choice.


----------



## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

pinkkawaii said:


> Yes, I have extended family, American, and Japanese friends here. And I have made a few friends so far. I just hope the friendships last.
> 
> We had orientation and I was able to make a few friends. My SA has been a lot worse here but they accept me anyway. I do have a question. How are you able to deal with the super packed trains? It's so uncomfortable to me!
> 
> You should come here! Tokyo is perfect! It's everything I expected and I don't regret my choice.


it's great that you've made friends, i'm happy for you! and well i'm way down in the countryside so the trains here aren't nearly as bad. from what i've heard looking obviously foreign (white/black/brown) does wonders to automatically repel people when you get on public transport. i work late hours so i always have the opposite problem, getting to the station near midnight and i'm literally the only one there.


----------



## pinkkawaii (Oct 23, 2015)

bad baby said:


> it's great that you've made friends, i'm happy for you! and well i'm way down in the countryside so the trains here aren't nearly as bad. from what i've heard looking obviously foreign (white/black/brown) does wonders to automatically repel people when you get on public transport. i work late hours so i always have the opposite problem, getting to the station near midnight and i'm literally the only one there.


That sounds like a better situation for SA. The train ride from my dorm to campus is 35 minutes, I'm going to have to choose classes that don't put me in rush hour, I can't handle it! I'd probably miss some days of class because of dreading the train ride 
Do you get a lot of stares? If so, does it bother you? I was in a store just now and some Japanese people stopped in their tracks and starred at us with no shame! It will probably make me more uncomfortable when I'm by myself


----------



## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

pinkkawaii said:


> That sounds like a better situation for SA. The train ride from my dorm to campus is 35 minutes, I'm going to have to choose classes that don't put me in rush hour, I can't handle it! I'd probably miss some days of class because of dreading the train ride
> Do you get a lot of stares? If so, does it bother you? I was in a store just now and some Japanese people stopped in their tracks and starred at us with no shame! It will probably make me more uncomfortable when I'm by myself


35min is not so bad. but yea do try to avoid rush hour commutes if you can, but then again don't let that be the deciding factor of how you organize your schedule. after all your education is much more important than a few shoves and nudges on the train!

i'm asian, and even my own mother tells me i "look japanese" (whatever that means) so i don't typically get treated any differently until i open my mouth. (and even then some of them just assume i'm retarded >.>).. but yea back when i was in the kansai area for orientation, this black guy i hung out with, often the locals would see him standing in the elevator or whatever and run the other way. most foreigners i've met here have experienced this type of thing to varying extents, and they all find it absolutely hilarious. one guy told me he went in a store and the sales clerk started shaking like a leaf. so yea, you've got nothing to be scared of. if anything they're the ones who are scared of you!


----------



## clarkekent (Dec 2, 2015)

sounds like a doomed plan. you're never getting out of there.


----------



## Fangirl96 (Apr 13, 2015)

People are probably only staring at you because you look scared and confused. They probably think you're just a tourist. The more confident you get, the less they will stare and judge you. If you act like someone who's lived there you're entire life, then surely they'll ignore you. Idk since i've never been there, but that's my guess. And you will get more confident over time. Within a month, it'll be like you grew up there. You should give it atleast a month to settle in. Allow yourself to be confused, make mistakes and feel out of place during this first month. It's totally normal. If you end up hating it all of sudden, whether its in a month or 20 months, you can always get out of there and go home whenever you want to.


----------



## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

It's great to hear that you made it Ok. Let us know how things go over there.


----------



## FunkyFedoras (Aug 30, 2013)

Sounds like an adventure, have fun!!


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

pinkkawaii said:


> For about 2 and a half years but I'll be back in the states for summer breaks.


Wow. I thought exchange programs were usually only for 1 year. Are you majoring in Japanese?


----------



## hmweasley (Sep 12, 2013)

I'm happy to see that you made it to Japan and that things seem to be going well. Also, I feel a bit jealous as I get ready to head back to my school that's just in the same state I've lived in my whole life. Haha.


----------



## That Random Guy (Jan 31, 2015)

*すごいいいいいいいいｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗ*



pinkkawaii said:


> So I had been planning on going to school in Japan for years now and now it's finaly happening. We're supposed to leave in a few hours for the airport. But the closer it gets to leaving, the more panicky I get. Family and friends have been contacting me and telling me how happy they are for me, getting excited for me, giving donations. I honestly don't even want to go anymore becuase I can't bear the anxiety it's causing. I feel a lot of pressure and that I've trapped myself in this situation. I feel like I'll let everyone down who's rooting for me if I don't go. I would waste a lot of money. And I might regret it for the rest of my life. I just don't know what to do at this point. Maybe I'll have a panic attack and miss my flight.


This is great!

You're living my dream! Well, half of it!

It feels like a dream and yet you're still feeling anxious?

Well, you should be!!! It's a very big move (don't know where you're from; also don't know your age)!

Regardless however, I think this will sort of force you to adapt in a new environment and new setting all-together.

While it usually isn't suggested to migrate as a means to recuperate from SA, I think it holds many opportunities that many don't normally get to attempt.

You're so lucky. I'm so envious! I'm so jealous!!!

I think by forcing yourself out there and starting somewhere new is an excellent way to sort of show off your colors and take on a new leaf.

I'm by no means saying it will be easy, but I think with the added perspective and new life of sorts, you'll find that you're more willing to be proactive in this new lime-light. So jealous!!!

Generally, the society of Japan-as a whole-will be different than what you might have experience in your home country, but I personally feel that their culture and norms are more fitting to my nature of being. However, don't let the cover spoil the book! At the end of the day, people will be people. We all have our wants, our needs, and our goals. So, be careful!!!

I don't know how well put together you are on this once-in-a-lifetime journey, but I'll honestly tell you that you should be overjoyed about this. Just think about it: how many people in the world get chances like this to live in their dream country via the chance that's been provided to you?

You're worried about letting your family down?

Don't be! Just by doing this you're already proving to yourself that you can be all that you can be.

Will you fail? There's always a possibility. Who cares though? That's a part of life. What's important is that you get back on your feet and keep on straddling!

Life is full of uncertainties, I understand. However, I also understand that there are many possibilities in life as well. We all have the potential to improve-that's the truth.

It's OK to be afraid. It's OK to not know what comes next.

What's important is that you make the decisions and that you want to go there.

I couldn't be more happy for you. So, please, enjoy your stay.

Make sure to take pictures! You don't have to show us, but keep them for yourself at least! Make the most out of this experience!

Remember, we're here for you should anything come up, so just holler.

Congratz and enjoy your New Year in Japan!!!!

Kindest Regards,

T.R.G.


----------



## pinkkawaii (Oct 23, 2015)

bad baby said:


> 35min is not so bad. but yea do try to avoid rush hour commutes if you can, but then again don't let that be the deciding factor of how you organize your schedule. after all your education is much more important than a few shoves and nudges on the train!
> 
> i'm asian, and even my own mother tells me i "look japanese" (whatever that means) so i don't typically get treated any differently until i open my mouth. (and even then some of them just assume i'm retarded >.>).. but yea back when i was in the kansai area for orientation, this black guy i hung out with, often the locals would see him standing in the elevator or whatever and run the other way. most foreigners i've met here have experienced this type of thing to varying extents, and they all find it absolutely hilarious. one guy told me he went in a store and the sales clerk started shaking like a leaf. so yea, you've got nothing to be scared of. if anything they're the ones who are scared of you!


Shoves and nudges?? It was way more than that, the train was so packed one day that I couldn't move because of being stuck squished between everyone and for a few stops I was stuck face to face with a salary man haha that was super awkward! And also I'm terrified of chikan.
All of the Japanese people have been super friendly to me and my friends. Except for this one time in a konbini. If I have a question, sometimes I'll ask the staff and sometimes I'll ask a Japanese person. So I tried to ask a Japanese lady was something dish soap(in Japanese) and before I could finish she started waving her hands no and turned away and her son told me to ask the register people. It made my friend tear up but I just brushed it off. Luckily another lady wanted to help us. 


Fangirl96 said:


> People are probably only staring at you because you look scared and confused. They probably think you're just a tourist. The more confident you get, the less they will stare and judge you. If you act like someone who's lived there you're entire life, then surely they'll ignore you. Idk since i've never been there, but that's my guess. And you will get more confident over time. Within a month, it'll be like you grew up there. You should give it atleast a month to settle in. Allow yourself to be confused, make mistakes and feel out of place during this first month. It's totally normal. If you end up hating it all of sudden, whether its in a month or 20 months, you can always get out of there and go home whenever you want to.


They are staring because I'm a foreigner, it's just something foreigners have to get used to in Japan. Japanese people have no problem with staring at you even if you catch them. But most of them don't care, or stare discreetly lol But thanks for the encouragement! I am getting more comfortable here as the days go by.


----------



## Hermiter (Dec 15, 2013)

make sure you have a translator app or a dictionary


----------



## pinkkawaii (Oct 23, 2015)

don said:


> It's great to hear that you made it Ok. Let us know how things go over there.


Ok and thanks for the support!


komorikun said:


> Wow. I thought exchange programs were usually only for 1 year. Are you majoring in Japanese?


Study abroad only lasts for a year but I transferred to a school here. I'm majoring in business but I will be taking Japanese classes. 


That Random Guy said:


> This is great!
> 
> You're living my dream! Well, half of it!
> 
> ...


This was very encouraging! Thank you! My anxiety makes me overthink things but I'm glad I made the choice to come here. The good is definitely outweighing the bad. 
Don't be jealous! Just get to Japan. If that's your dream, you have to find a way to make it happen. I was so determined during the application process, I made sure I was gonna get here lol


----------



## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

pinkkawaii said:


> Shoves and nudges?? It was way more than that, the train was so packed one day that I couldn't move because of being stuck squished between everyone and for a few stops I was stuck face to face with a salary man haha that was super awkward! And also I'm terrified of chikan.
> All of the Japanese people have been super friendly to me and my friends. Except for this one time in a konbini. If I have a question, sometimes I'll ask the staff and sometimes I'll ask a Japanese person. So I tried to ask a Japanese lady was something dish soap(in Japanese) and *before I could finish she started waving her hands no and turned away* and her son told me to ask the register people. It made my friend tear up but I just brushed it off. Luckily another lady wanted to help us.
> 
> They are staring because I'm a foreigner, it's just something foreigners have to get used to in Japan. Japanese people have no problem with staring at you even if you catch them. But most of them don't care, or stare discreetly lol But thanks for the encouragement! I am getting more comfortable here as the days go by.


not really related but bold part is, like, typical customer service you'll get if you go to china lol.

do you take those "women only" passenger cars then? although i imagine during rush hour a perp could still "accidentally" get mixed into a women-only car amidst the chaos and he'd have a field day.


----------



## pinkkawaii (Oct 23, 2015)

bad baby said:


> not really related but bold part is, like, typical customer service you'll get if you go to china lol.
> 
> do you take those "women only" passenger cars then? although i imagine during rush hour a perp could still "accidentally" get mixed into a women-only car amidst the chaos and he'd have a field day.


I haven't seen any women only ones but I don't have to worry about rush hour, my classes are later  
Do you have Line?


----------

