# What does it mean to have a Crush on Someone?



## The Linux Guy (Jul 11, 2013)

There are lots of women I find physically outwardly attractive. However I wouldn't consider that mere feeling of male attraction to the female form to be considered a "Crush" most of these women I wouldn't want to be with for personality compatibility reasons. But I started to realize, I don't know what having a "Crush" really feels like. Can anyone explain it to me?


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

I think it's mostly a figure of speech and doesn't really have a specific meaning as most people use it.


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## andy0128 (Dec 19, 2003)

It goes beyond physically attraction. A crush would occupy your thoughts almost constantly. You'd be sad if they were away on holiday or dissapeared from your life completely. You look forward to seeing this person.
How do you go from being physically attracted to that next level of having a crush? I think it's much more likely if you are single or going through a crisis in your life. The crush helps fill the void in your life. You also might see something in their personality that appeals to you beyond simple physical attraction.You might think that with this person there is a hope however faint of it evolving into a relationship at some stage.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I guess it depends, my crushes tend to be somewhat obsessive at least eventually. It's a bit like OCD actually. You think about them a lot more than you do other people.


But I once had a similar reaction to someone who I don't think I was romantically attracted to? And I wasn't sexually attracted to them (like no lust etc,) so it seems independent. I've had a couple of similar things happen since one less obsessive and then one grew into a definitely romantic crush which is really weird because now I'm wondering what like... Where is the line? It usually becomes or is romantic though that level of focus.. 

I think it's whether or not I can insert them into some kind of fantasy or create one surrounding them. Not always though sometimes it's been based just on physical appearance.


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## alienbird (Apr 9, 2010)

My crush was basically because the guy had a compatible personality, similar sense of humor, some shared interests, and his presence made me smile. Also, he was cute in my eyes. It was... nice. He liked me too, until I ruined it. That was also amazing. 

Usually crushes are idealized versions of that person, then you get to know them, and if you both like each other... magic. Or not. I don't know. :lol


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## Solomoon (Dec 29, 2017)

For me, crushes have often felt like angels in human form. As if the room was dark before they walked in and then it was full of light.


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## 3stacks (Sep 27, 2014)

For me it means "oh no not this again" and always ends in rejection haha


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## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

For me it is like a tingliness in my chest and I turn into a dumba** all of a sudden and can't act properly. It's a moment of oh god, not this again & better off keeping my mouth shut before I screw this up.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

just when you like someone and you do something about it... but in private lol. just in your head or some behaviour. fantasizing or pandering or talking about them or something more suited to the 18+ forum.


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## PandaBearx (May 26, 2013)

To me crushes are momentary infatuations based off the attraction you first feel towards the person.


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## funnynihilist (Jul 29, 2014)

My theory is that people develope crushes as a way to give themselves a sort of hope.
In other words, the crush becomes a sort of escape from the drudgery of life and gives the crush-er a sense that there is something bigger than themselves.
The brain is also in on the trick by giving hits of dopamine everytime the crusher sees or thinks about the crush. This creates a loop that can be hard to shake.
It's not so much that the person with the crush loves the other person, they love how the other person makes them feel(ie dopamine).


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## mgra (Jul 5, 2018)

When I have a crush I can't stop thinking about them--I feel a strong attraction towards them and I can't stop thinking about hugging/kissing them. Every time they say my name or even talk to me I tend to get "butterflies" in my stomach and am ridiculously happy after having a conversation with them and when they compliment me even on the smallest things.


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

They make life more livable and my brain feel less dead. Energy is so much more better after just seeing them.


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## Emma-Pixie89 (Jun 20, 2018)

I think a crush is a form of infatuation that will usually pass, I've had crushes in the past and at the time i was majorly infatuated with the person but after a while and me maturing they became less interesting to me and i realised that there was nothing there at all


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

Let your penis guide you. A normal attraction involves your penis becoming bigger and harder. A crush involves your penis withdrawing in close to you and becoming smaller.


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## AffinityWing (Aug 11, 2013)

I haven't had one in a long time, but my stomach would heat up when I'm anywhere near them and I want to end up running away and hiding.  I get much more obviously nervous, clumsy and blushy...sucks being an open book! Seeing them would also be one of the highlights of my otherwise terrible and depressing days.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

Last major crush I had was 3 in a half years ago, but I can tell you my experience of what it's like. 

It's like having a major infatuation with someone to the point of obsession. You're so mesmerized by them that they're always on your mind 24/7. You go to bed and fantasize about you two being together, and you may even dream about them frequently. 

It's like having a roller-coaster of emotions. You can go from extreme happiness to extreme sadness pretty quickly. You feel like you're on cloud nine throughout the day when you've had a positive interaction with them. It's like being on happy drugs. But you also get extremely sad, angry, or depressed if they don't respond well to your interests or don't want to talk to you. 

You always want to be around your crush, and you're sad when they leave. 

Oftentimes, you lose your appetite. Being lovestruck tends to surpress your hunger. 

You think she's "the one". There is no other girl as good as her, you neglect other women who would otherwise give you a chance because you want her.


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## Ms kim (May 15, 2017)

How did you manage to be on this earth for 39 years and don't know what it means to have a crush on someone?


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## Ms kim (May 15, 2017)

Crushes are a nuisance. I left those things behind in my twenties and teenage years.

I guard my mind and heart against such things. Idleness and waste of time is all it amounts to.


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## The Linux Guy (Jul 11, 2013)

Ms kim said:


> Crushes are a nuisance. I left those things behind in my twenties and teenage years.
> 
> I guard my mind and heart against such things. Idleness and waste of time is all it amounts to.


I noticed your age. Were not that many years apart. It's been a really long time since I felt something special for anyone in a consistent way. Like that is the one for me kind of feeling. I've noticed that my attraction to the opposite gender, tends to change from person to person in very short periods of time. It seems to be caused by the very thing your describing. As soon as I start to feel attracted to someone, I start to feel hopeless. Because I know that nothing is ever going to happen between me and them. It could be the way I look, or it could be a personality incompatibility. Which turns my desire for being with someone into a nuisance.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I've had the hots for a lot of guys but crushes are pretty rare. So I think I've only had a couple crushes since I don't really talk to one guy regularly. 

My definition of a crush is someone you have and have talked to quite a few times. It's not purely visual. And you think about them a fair amount.

My crushes came to an end when I saw them dating or flirting with other women.


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## The Linux Guy (Jul 11, 2013)

komorikun said:


> My crushes came to an end when I saw them dating or flirting with other women.


I think that is what people do until they are sure who they want to settle down with.


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## Kilgore Trout (Aug 10, 2014)

When you're browsing the New Posts section and you see they've posted in a thread you click on it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## The Linux Guy (Jul 11, 2013)

geraltofrivia said:


> When you're browsing the New Posts section and you see they've posted in a thread you click on it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Because your bored...


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## The Linux Guy (Jul 11, 2013)

Ms kim said:


> How did you manage to be on this earth for 39 years and don't know what it means to have a crush on someone?


People treated me like crap. Some people made fun of me, and the rest just ignored me. Why would I have any fuzzy feelings for people who treated me like that?!


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## Ms kim (May 15, 2017)

I_Exist said:


> I noticed your age. Were not that many years apart. It's been a really long time since I felt something special for anyone in a consistent way. Like that is the one for me kind of feeling. I've noticed that my attraction to the opposite gender, tends to change from person to person in very short periods of time. It seems to be caused by the very thing your describing. As soon as I start to feel attracted to someone, I start to feel hopeless. Because I know that nothing is ever going to happen between me and them. It could be the way I look, or it could be a personality incompatibility. Which turns my desire for being with someone into a *nuisance*.


Yes, it is a nuisance. I refuse to waste feelings on someone when nothing will become of it.

Also as a female, I believe that it is the man's responsibility to show interest first, so if the man does not show an interest in me, but shows interest in others. Then that's that.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

I had a few crushes in high school, one in elementary school, none in college, and one fling recently.

For me, a crush has always been wasting feelings on someone and having them be interested in other people or having nothing romantic come of it.

I consider it a complete waste of time now.


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## The Linux Guy (Jul 11, 2013)

Ms kim said:


> Also as a female, I believe that it is the man's responsibility to show interest first,


I disagree. It's up to whoever wants to make the first move.


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## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

I_Exist said:


> It's up to whoever wants to make the first move.


In modern day society that is true.


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## Tetragammon (Jun 2, 2015)

I think it depends on the individual and their state of mind. When I was younger my "crushes" always went beyond physical attraction; I'd think about them obsessively and want to be around them all the time, even if only to talk or hang out. 

Now my crushes are pretty much entirely physical and I'm okay with that. I have very little interest in or desire for romance or relationships anymore.


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## The Linux Guy (Jul 11, 2013)

ANX1 said:


> In modern day society that is true.


In some ways modern day society makes it worse. When a Man tries to approach a specific Woman for the first time He doesn't know what to expect. The pain of rejection is bad enough, but not knowing what is expected even makes it worse, I think. That is why I wish I could just make some casual female friends and let the friendship morph into something, rather than force it to become something that it doesn't naturally want to be.

I wish the Women who still want to hold onto the "old way" would at least try to imagine themselves in my shoes. I try to imagine myself in their shoes all the time!


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## SparklingWater (Jan 16, 2013)

Depends on the person. For me, it means I like what little I know about you as a person, we get along well enough and I find something about you attractive. Some butterflies and thinking about the person more than usual. More laughter, smiles and giggles.

Crushes don't last long now as I'm older so I either get to know the person and it grows into more or I focus elsewhere and it goes away cause who has time for that unrequited "love" bs.


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## smoothlinghs (Jun 2, 2018)

It is like my inner organs and cells are jumping up up up and even I try to stop it my face goes into ear to ear smile and my eyes are looking at him like a delicious treat and I giggle. I try to fight agaist but what can I do :stu


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## Mr Grey (Jan 15, 2013)

I personally define "crush" as that small period of time when you have already found all the nice things that you and somebody have in common, yet you haven't had the time to find all the things that you dislike on said person.


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## Quietguy86 (Aug 12, 2018)

I can only speak for myself, when I have a crush on someone I get this warm sensation when I think about them, when I see them I worry about if I'm going to say or do the right thing. I get slightly more shy around them. 

It means you like someone from a distance really, like your teacher in school (Mrs Bako for me) or a female class mate or friend, you want to be where they are or want to message them but are afraid to, or your knees start to shake and your heart beats fast everytime you see them. 

Crushing on someone you think about them, maybe you write about them in your journal, a tv show or movie you watch makes you think of them.


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## Vip3r (Dec 7, 2010)

Crushing for me is someone that I am not only attracted to, but I have talked to & feel some sort of emotional connection. I am attracted to a lot of people, but I rarely get crushes.


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## The Linux Guy (Jul 11, 2013)

ANX1 said:


> It is not easy.
> 
> Hard to find that "click" (chemistry both ways).


That is why I have no choice but to give up. What's too hard is too hard for me. And I'm tired of explaining why. :crying:


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## The Linux Guy (Jul 11, 2013)

@ANX1 I hope things turn around for you! Your so nice to everyone on here!


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## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

karenw said:


> Someone told me they had a crush on me recently, it didn't mean that much to me really as it wasn't mutual. I don't think a crush can mean that much just that they think youre nice or whatever, it doesn't really go in depth as such, Im not interested, so that's the way I see it.


Yeah I think it depends on who it's coming from sometimes. Like if they're someone who is very flirty and seems to crush often, I wouldn't feel anything being told that by them. And while it's a bit flattering to hear from someone you barely know, it can feel artificial almost as they don't know you well enough to really feel anything more than superficial.

But when it comes from someone who knows you very well, even if it isn't returned, I consider that special. It's just hard when you don't feel the same because it (to me) feels like that one thing you can't give back (and the potential to make things awkward). It's also not the same feeling as it being mutual, obviously.


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## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

karenw said:


> @ Toxic. This crush im talking about though, he wants me to manage a shop with him as well, I think this crush could be that I agree to it & cover his *** basically as he doesnt do much work. So im not entirely convinced its genuine for the right reason. No bother though as the crush doesnt mean much at all anyway. Hes over the top with his compliments ,ha Irritating. Its a no go managing the shop with him if hes lazy or whatever no chance.


ugh yeah sounds awful. In that case I wouldn't feel much about it either. I don't take kindly to those who play up niceness to get away with being lazy in the workplace. I feel for you


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## Solomoon (Dec 29, 2017)

My previous post was mainly about crushes I didn't get too close too. When you know them well and talk to them often things can sometimes blow up. Then you kick yourself over it later. I still miss my Russian from time to time.


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## Musicfan (Mar 4, 2017)

I used to get mad crushes but now I see all that as a waste of emotion and effort since they've never led to anything. It's still important to have hope though! Turning a crush into feelings of love are a big mistake. It's easy to be disappointed by people when they don't meet your expectation, what I've learned from people that went on dates with their crush.


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## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

Solomoon said:


> My previous post was mainly about crushes I didn't get too close too. When you know them well and talk to them often things can sometimes blow up. Then you kick yourself over it later. I still miss my Russian from time to time.


Yeah I understand that too, that kind of plays into my whole feelings perspective...not trusting them to determine important factors. In my experience they just lead to trouble haha and best kept to myself. In the case of being close to/talking to that person everyday crushes are chaos in that regard.

Your avatar intrigues me btw. What is that from?


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## Solomoon (Dec 29, 2017)

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Yeah I understand that too, that kind of plays into my whole feelings perspective...not trusting them to determine important factors. In my experience they just lead to trouble haha and best kept to myself. In the case of being close to/talking to that person everyday crushes are chaos in that regard.
> 
> Your avatar intrigues me btw. What is that from?


It's especially chaotic when you never think you'll find a certain kind of person, like someone who shares specific interests, and then you do and they get you and your mind is lost in a tidal wave of emotions. It is a lot of trouble lol but I'm still glad I got close to those people even if things became a disaster later.

The avatar is from Blade Runner 2049. K/Joe has an AI girlfriend named Joi.


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## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

Solomoon said:


> It's especially chaotic when you never think you'll find a certain kind of person, like someone who shares specific interests, and then you do and they get you and your mind is lost in a tidal wave of emotions. It is a lot of trouble lol but I'm still glad I got close to those people even if things became a disaster later.
> 
> The avatar is from Blade Runner 2049. K/Joe has an AI girlfriend named Joi.


Yeah the perils of overwhelming emotions lol but yeah it's hard when meeting people who share similar interests and have anything in likeness to you seems to be a rarity. It only makes sense to want to get closer to people like that.

ohhh ok haha thanks. I couldn't tell if it was from a video game or a real film.


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## Solomoon (Dec 29, 2017)

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Yeah the perils of overwhelming emotions lol but yeah it's hard when meeting people who share similar interests and have anything in likeness to you seems to be a rarity. It only makes sense to want to get closer to people like that.
> 
> ohhh ok haha thanks. I couldn't tell if it was from a video game or a real film.


My Russian was a rare kind of a soul. I think if I'd met her now instead of then I'd have handled things better but I guess them's the brakes. Most wisdom comes by learning from mistakes.

It's a really good movie because the characters are so real, even the ones who aren't human.


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## nosystemd (Dec 14, 2018)

mgra said:


> I can't stop thinking about them--I feel a strong attraction towards them and I can't stop thinking about hugging/kissing them. Every time they say my name or even talk to me I tend to get "butterflies" in my stomach and am ridiculously happy after having a conversation with them and when they compliment me even on the smallest things.


yeah 

this.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

For me, a crush tends to be someone I know almost nothing about but they're cute and that's all I need to know. I typically never act on them and just enjoy knowing they exist.


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## Kinable (Apr 25, 2013)

False hope, well that's all crushes have ever brought me.


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