# Relationships questionaire!



## Bouffon (May 18, 2008)

I think our society is very demanding and by the time we reach some age we are required to meet certain requirements in order to portray the image of a 'normal' social being. I would like to determine how not having a significant other affects one's social life and consequently one's self-esteem. Please feel free to answer the following questionnaire where applicable.

*Age:* 21
*Sex:* Male
*Born extrovert or introvert?* Introvert
*Ever dated someone?* No
*Did you date someone before having SA?* No
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* Hell yes! Even my cat gets nightly visits... My friends eventually got girlfriends and drifted off to fulfill normal lives.
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* I'd like to think that it makes one more outgoing or communicative.
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* Just the idea of doing it makes me puke. Totally oblivious to body language. Visualize a wooden post, that's me!
*Any general opinions/comments:* People close to me think I am gay (no offense).

The little template,
*Age:*
*Sex:*
*Born extrovert or introvert?*
*Ever dated someone?*
*Did you date someone before having SA?*
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?*
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?*
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?*
*Any general opinions/comments:*

--------------
As a personal note, I was raised in a matriarchal home, father was aggressive man and rarely home so I don't know if that affected my ability to deal with the opposite sex from a man's view. I remember being outgoing in middle-school, two girls even asked me out but I rejected them for unknown reasons. Maybe I am just a pu$$y haha, still trying to figure what went wrong :/


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## thetrial (Sep 14, 2008)

Age: nearly 19
Sex: Female
Born extrovert or introvert? Introvert
Ever dated someone? (I went on -a- date once, but/...) no.
Did you date someone before having SA? I think I've had it since childhood, so no.
Do you feel pressured to have a SO? To a certain degree, yes.
Does having a SO make any difference with your SA? No idea.
Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting? Yes.
Any general opinions/comments: I'm completely freaked I'll be alone forever.


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## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

Age: 23
Sex: male
Born extrovert or introvert? introvert
Ever dated someone? yes
Did you date someone before having SA? no
Do you feel pressured to have a SO? Not really
Does having a SO make any difference with your SA? The only difference is more drama. 
Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting? Flirting is easy. 
Any general opinions/comments: I'm not too worried about it, although I probably should be. Oh well. *goes back to looking at porn*


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## person86 (Aug 10, 2006)

Random quizzes, okay, fun. This will be kind of like Myspace from two years ago. Do I get a pretty picture for my Myspace profile depending on my answer?!!?

Age: 22
Sex: M
Born extrovert or introvert? quite introverted
Ever dated someone? yes
Did you date someone before having SA? always had it
Do you feel pressured to have a SO? yes

Does having a SO make any difference with your SA? generally, no, not really. although it is comforting to have someone to talk with and feel comfortable around.. to go out and do things with.. etc.

Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting? not sure. i can make one-way flirty comments, but back-and-forth flirting doesn't really work.


Any general opinions/comments: i am in a serious relationship and still feel like killing myself on a daily basis.


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## Bouffon (May 18, 2008)

the pedo seal suffices (4chan much?). you may like this one though,


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## person86 (Aug 10, 2006)

Crying and smoking?

That's right on, man. 

If I had a Myspace that actually had friends on it, that picture would so totally be there..

BTW, any thoughts on asking how many previous relationships people have had? How long their current one is? Things like that? Because being in a two-week relationship and a two-year relationship... WORLD of difference for the self esteem.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

*Age:* 24
*Sex:* Female
*Born extrovert or introvert?* Introvert
*Ever dated someone?* Yes
*Did you date someone before having SA?* No, I've ALWAYS had SA
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* No but I do have one.
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* Not really, sometimes in general it makes me feel a little better though.
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* No
*Any general opinions/comments:* No


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

*Age:*33
*Sex:*M
*Born extrovert or introvert?*extrovert
*Ever dated someone?*Nope.
*Did you date someone before having SA?*Not sure. 
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?*Yes.
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?*Don't have one
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?*As long as it's clean...
*Any general opinions/comments:*I am tired to having people rub their relationships and upcoming marriages in my face.


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

*Age*: 33
*Sex:* F
*Born extrovert or introvert?* Extrovert.
*Ever dated someone?* Yes, my longest relationship was 5yrs.
*Did you date someone before having SA*? No.
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* Not by anyone in particular. I suppose if I wanted to have children, then I would. 
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* No.
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* Yes.


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

*a*


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## Lateralus (Oct 28, 2007)

*Age:* 26
*Sex:* M
*Born extrovert or introvert?* extrovert
*Ever dated someone?* Yes, several. Longest was a couple months 
*Did you date someone before having SA?* No. 
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* Yes.
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* I think it would help a lot if I did have a SO that I was comfortable with.
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* Yes, although I often look back on it thinking I made an idiot of myself.
*Any general opinions/comments:* I wish I had a lot of it to do over again. Knowing what I do now, I think I could have had much better experiences.


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## Draztek (Jul 5, 2008)

*Age:* 20
*Sex:* Male
*Born extrovert or introvert?* Introvert
*Ever dated someone?* Nope
*Did you date someone before having SA?* N/A
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* Yes. It bugs me plus I get constantly pushed by friends
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* N/A although I believe it would do wonders for my self confidence
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* No way. The whole hinting you like someone for awhile without directly telling them all while not overdoing it and seeming too clingy/overly attached while sounding smooth during flirting it is a nearly impossible task
*Any general opinions/comments:* I know if I could get past the "chase" stage and be in a relationship with someone I care about I would be a good boyfriend. I get enjoyment out of making other people happy, and I would love to be able to share my heart with someone.
As corny as it is to use music, these songs are what I want / aspire to fulfill


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## Polar (Dec 16, 2006)

*Age:* 25
*Sex: *Male
*Born extrovert or introvert?* Not sure, a little of both, but mostly introvert.
*Ever dated someone? *Nope
*Did you date someone before having SA?* No.
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* Not really. I've never felt to be in any rush with this. I go at my own pace, why should anybody else care?
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* I'm trying to figure that out. If it was someone I would be comfortable being myself with, not feeling I'd have to hide anything, then yes, I definitely think it would help. If not with SA, then at least with feeling better about myself.
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* Generally, no.


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## Medicine Wheel (Nov 17, 2008)

*Age:* 21
*Sex:* male
*Born extrovert or introvert?* introvert
*Ever dated someone?* no
*Did you date someone before having SA?* no
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* no
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* i wouldn't know now would i
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* Not at all.
*Any general opinions/comments:* I pretty much give up.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

Age: 23

Sex: Female

Born extrovert or introvert? Intro

Ever dated someone? No

Did you date someone before having SA? Never dated; have always had SA.

Do you feel pressured to have a SO? Yes, because I feel left out from the rest of society and that creates pressure... no one in my life pressures me, because, well, they realize that's a lost f**king cause. 

Does having a SO make any difference with your SA? I wouldn't know, perhaps, but perhaps not.

Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting? I highly doubt it. 

Any general opinions/comments: Kill me now. Wait, make me a sandwich first.


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## Hot Chocolate (Sep 29, 2008)

Age: 21
Sex: F
Born extrovert or introvert? Introvert
Ever dated someone? No
Did you date someone before having SA? No
Do you feel pressured to have a SO? Sometimes 
Does having a SO make any difference with your SA? If he's someone I really like
Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting? Well, it will be someone I really like too
Any general opinions/comments: -


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## MissChocolateMilkshake (Jul 25, 2004)

Age: 26
Sex: Female
Born extrovert or introvert?
I was born Introverted

Ever dated someone?

I have dated, but I havent been on a real date in a long time. 

Did you date someone before having SA? 

I think I always had SA, so the answer to this question is No. 

Do you feel pressured to have a SO?

No not really. I am waiting on my Guy/Dreammate to come in my life. If he comes now or in the future. I will not settle for less, I deserve to be treated like a Queen. 

Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?

Nope, it does not. 
Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?

I usually dont approach or go up to guys. I really dont flirt unless I really know the guy. 

Any general opinions/comments: 

Well I am concentrating on schooling right now and getting my degree. If a guy comes into my life, thats cool too. But for me he has to be the right guy. Lately I been meeting jerks and no good guys, that will do nothing in my life. I rather be single, than to settle and put up with guys that treat me like dirt/trash.


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## ShyFX (Mar 6, 2006)

Age: 26 

Sex: Male

Born extrovert or introvert? Introvert

Ever dated someone? I dated one girl a few times. We weren’t right for each other, though. 

Did you date someone before having SA? I thought I was just shy. 

Do you feel pressured to have a SO? Hell yes. 

Does having a SO make any difference with your SA? I think it would make me a happier person in general and I’d be able to make more progress. And It’d be nice having someone to go to social events with. 

Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting? Sure. 

Any general opinions/comments: I wish I took advantage of opportunities when I was younger. It’s hard to meet someone now that I work and don’t go to school.


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## Kwtrader (Oct 10, 2007)

Age: 24
Sex: M
Born extrovert or introvert?
introvert
Ever dated someone?
no
Did you date someone before having SA?
no
Do you feel pressured to have a SO?
no
Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?
better because you have someone close to talk with but worse because you could get in arguements and break ups and that would cause alot of trouble.
Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?
sure, it always great to know that somebody likes you or notice you or has an interest in you.
I can return it in some situations.
Any general opinions/comments:
if i'm single then thats the way it is if i find someone its ok also.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

*Age:* 28
*Sex:* Boy
*Born extrovert or introvert?* i do not know
*Ever dated someone?* no
*Did you date someone before having SA?* no
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* yes, by you and that other guy
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* n/a
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* yes, if i must her
*Any general opinions/comments:* use onions. jia you.


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## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

Age: 18.
Sex: Female.
Born extrovert or introvert? Introvert.
Ever dated someone? Yes, for a year and a half.
Did you date someone before having SA? No.
Do you feel pressured to have a SO? No.
Does having a SO make any difference with your SA? It made it worse with my ex. Given I was also depressed at the time, but I depended on him for my happiness far too much and having someone there to do things for me I stunted my social growth.
Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting? Yes, it is sexy and fun. Why not?
Any general opinions/comments: I enjoy being single. Until I fully know myself having someone love me doesn't truly make sense because I am like a chameleon since I'm young. I'm still going to grow and what is the chance they're going to love the ever-evolving me? Not likely.


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## bucknut12 (Apr 18, 2006)

Age: 21
Sex: Male
Born extrovert or introvert? Mainly introvert
Ever dated someone? just been on 1 date
Did you date someone before having SA? Nope
Do you feel pressured to have a SO? People I meet and know expect me to be.
Does having a SO make any difference with your SA? n/a
Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting? Yeah, but usually always balk to doing anything.
Any general opinions/comments: I have a very hard time trusting people. I am quiet because all they do is rag on me for not having a girlfriend. A "true" friend does not help the situation with that approach.


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## GermanHermit (Sep 6, 2008)

*Age:* 37
*Sex:* F
*Born extrovert or introvert?* Born shy but I wouldn't say introvert
*Ever dated someone?* No
*Did you date someone before having SA?* No
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* Since my mid/late-twenties NO
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* I assume no
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* No, but trivial joking around, if I already know that person is OK
*Any general opinions/comments:* The older I become, the more I can accept my personal situation. And looking at the far future I find the idea of not having a family of my own then a bit sad actually.


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## Taija (Nov 3, 2008)

*Age*: 16
*Sex:* Female
*Born extrovert or introvert?* Introvert
*Ever dated someone?* Yes, twice (I've met both of them online)
*Did you date someone before having SA?* No, I was too young to date when I didn't have it
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* Not really
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* It has made me feel a whole lot better about myself and that obviously helps with my SA, too. And having someone who listens without judging is always helpful.
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* Can't imagine flirting with a stranger IRL, but with someone I know, yes


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

Age: 24.
Sex: Female.
Born extrovert or introvert? Introvert.
Ever dated someone? Yes.
Did you date someone before having SA? I'm not sure. i had a "boyfriend" when I was in grade 1 but I don't think that counts.
Do you feel pressured to have a SO? Nope.
Does having a SO make any difference with your SA? Yes and no. My ex-boyfriend was a total enabler and my SA worsened while I was with him. My current boyfriend isn't an enabler, but I sometimes find myself more socially anxious when I'm with him and in a group of people, than when I'm on my own in a group of people. I'm not sure why, though.
Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting? I guess. But I'm not very good at it. If people flirt with me I don't react well; I assume they're making fun of me.
Any general opinions/comments: Having a boyfriend is easier for me than having a female friend. I feel like I can talk to men easier than I can talk to women. I'd like to be able to have regular male friends and regular female friends, but I don't feel comfortable with a person unless I'm dating them. Isn't that weird?


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

Age: 24
Sex: Male
Born extrovert or introvert? Introvert
Ever dated someone? Yes
Did you date someone before having SA? No
Do you feel pressured to have a SO? No
Does having a SO make any difference with your SA? Yes
Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting? No
Any general opinions/comments:


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## ANCIENT (Aug 9, 2005)

*Age: *24
*Sex: *XY
*Born extrovert or introvert? *Intro
*Ever dated someone? *Yes.
*Did you date someone before having SA? *I always had SA.
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* no
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA? *Yes.
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting? *Yes
*Any general opinions/comments: *Now that I'm a girl I can fly. Fly with me to the moon.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

*Age:* 20
*Sex:* Female
*Born extrovert or introvert?* Introvert
*Ever dated someone?* Yes, around three years so far. We actually have liked each other since middle school though, so it's been a while.
*Did you date someone before having SA?* No. I've definitely had SA for a long while.
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* Honestly, yes. I haven't been single in a while, but I feel that if I was, I would feel very awkward about telling people. I try not and let it bother me, but I feel everyone expects you to be at a certain stage in your relationships at a certain age. Also, once you've been dating someone for X numbers of months or years, you should move in together, meet the family, etc. I feel there are those expectations from everyone.
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* Not really. It's nice to have someone who I feel comfortable around that I feel I don't have to explain my weird behaviour to though.
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* Heck no. Unless it's with a friend and we both totally understand that we would never hook up with each other. But if there is any possibility I could actually hook up with someone, I can't do it. I feel I don't even deserve to try, since they obviously could never be interested in me.
*Any general opinions/comments:* It is very important to be happy with yourself when you are single.


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## quietgal (Oct 18, 2007)

*Age:* 22
*Sex:* Female
*Born extrovert or introvert?* Introvert
*Ever dated someone?* Yes
*Did you date someone before having SA?* I've had SA since I was very young, so no.
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO? *I felt pressure to at least _have had the experience_ of having one.
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* I think it has improved my self-esteem and general happiness, but I'm still not very social with anyone besides him. In fact, I think I have become a little dependent on him, socially. My SO and I spend _so much _time together, it's like sometimes I forget how to talk to other people.
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* Not really the flirty type.


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## SocialDisaster (Nov 25, 2008)

Age: 24
Sex: Male
Born extrovert or introvert? Introvert
Ever dated someone? No, not really.
Did you date someone before having SA? Define this a bit more..I can't pinpoint exactly when I suppossedly developed a "disease".
Do you feel pressured to have a SO? Only because I'm so unhappy about it.., don't really care about societal expectations, etc..
Does having a SO make any difference with your SA? Probably would make it worse..
Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting? I wish I had a clue of how to flirt..
Any general opinions/comments: Hopeless, really...


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## dontcare (Oct 6, 2008)

*Age:* 18
*Sex:* female
*Born extrovert or introvert?* introvert
*Ever dated someone?* no
*Did you date someone before having SA?* no
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* yes
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* n/a
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* no
*Any general opinions/comments:*


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## pariahgirl (Mar 26, 2008)

Age: 22
Sex: female
Born extrovert or introvert? introvert
Ever dated someone? yes
Did you date someone before having SA? I've always had SA, since I was in the fifth grade or so. So I can't remember a time before it really. Unless I was a huge fourth grade pimp or something that I'm unaware of. 
Do you feel pressured to have a SO? yes, i think people pair off as they get older and its a little bit weird if no one picks you to be on their "team", you feel pretty left out. 
Does having a SO make any difference with your SA? yes he improved it, i feel a lot more confident since I met him, and anxiety is a lot lower
Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting? flirting is fun, it really is, once you get in to the comfortable area of friendly flirting
Any general opinions/comments:


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## Aloysius (Jul 16, 2008)

*Age:* 20
*Sex:* male
*Born extrovert or introvert?* introvert
*Ever dated someone?* yes
*Did you date someone before having SA?* i've always had SA
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* no
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* no
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* no
*Any general opinions/comments:* no


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## kkluv20 (Nov 17, 2008)

Age: 20
Sex: female
Born extrovert or introvert? introvert 
Ever dated someone? just my current boyfriend. we have been dating for almost a year now
Did you date someone before having SA? no
Do you feel pressured to have a SO? I don't feel pressured, but when I didn't have a boyfriend I remember being lonely and wanting to have the experiences that I saw everyone around me having. Now I am grateful to be having them 

Does having a SO make any difference with your SA? 
It does. It helps me be less lonely. I know there is someone who loves and accepts me no matter what. He knows about my SA, and even though he doesn't really understand it, it is just nice to know I have someone to confide in. Sometimes he even does things for me that I don't want to do lol... but lately he has been pushing me more to do them myself. 
Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?
umm I flirt with my boyfriend if that's what you mean?


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Age: 26
Sex: Male
Born extrovert or introvert? Introvert
Ever dated someone? No
Did you date someone before having SA? I've never dated anyone.
Do you feel pressured to have a SO? You know, this is the gist of it. I usually don't give a d*mn what other people think about me never having a girlfriend, but _I_ care. I want to kiss someone, I want to love someone, da*n it I feel like I'm being sucked dry by the lack of having a girlfriend. 
Does having a SO make any difference with your SA? I wouldn't know.
Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting? Of course. I've flirted before, it's just never gone anywhere. 
Any general opinions/comments:


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## brealair (Aug 31, 2008)

*Age:25*
*Sex:Male*
*Born extrovert or introvert?introvert*
*Ever dated someone?yes*
*Did you date someone before having SA?I always had SAD*
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?Sometimes*
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?I don't think so*
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?It depends*
*Any general opinions/comments:*


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## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

*Age:* 21
*Sex:* male
*Born extrovert or introvert?* introvert
*Ever dated someone?* technically yes
*Did you date someone before having SA?* always had it
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* not really
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* didn't too much
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* nope
*Any general opinions/comments:*
The combination of being fairly unattractive physically, my introversion, and having a very quirky demeanor and set of interests led me to believe there was no point even trying from the time I was old enough to like girls (i.e., middle school). Went through high school without dating anyone or going to a single dance. There may have been one or two girls who were interested in me, but I didn't even give a thought to pursuing them given my crushing anxiety. Got to college and met a girl who shared a lot of my interests and was also on the quiet side, and we quickly became good friends (of course, the initial meeting was only brought about because of Facebook... at no point in my life have I had the balls to initiate conversation with a decent-looking girl in-person, even in a platonic way). Though I was interested in her romantically from the beginning, I'm not sure she felt the same about me, but eventually she expressed interest in becoming more than friends and I gladly agreed. Of course, my lack of initiative and confidence was a foreboding sign of things to come. We were officially "together" for quite a few months, but it basically went nowhere physically. By that I don't mean merely that we didn't have sex; I mean we didn't even kiss or do anything beyond hugging/cuddling. After this had continued for over a month she eventually called me out on it and let me know directly (online though, not in-person where it could happen right then) that she was ready to kiss. From that point onward, it was simply a humiliating vicious cycle of my failing to get up the courage to do it, because of the fact that it'd taken me so long in the first place that she'd had to say something. Needless to say, the "relationship" eventually fell apart and she ditched me, and after some brief pain I was actually glad to put it behind me and forget about the colossal, excruciating failure it had been. That was a little over two years ago, and since then I've been perhaps even more dismissing of the idea of a relationship than I was before I met her; I proved to myself that I'm just not capable of functioning normally in a romantic/sexual relationship, even after getting past the huge hurdle of finding someone willing to date me. I feel like my inability to initiate intimacy after _months_ of being in the same relationship places me at the very extreme end of the spectrum of human relationship dysfunction; something so incredibly embarrassing that I can hardly bring myself to disclose it on an anonymous forum for fellow social anxiety sufferers, lol. At any rate, my M.O. now is to avoid getting to know any attractive girls on more than a very superficial level if possible (not difficult given my lifestyle) so as to avoid developing feelings, since I certainly have no intention of ever trying anything again. Who knows though, maybe time will bring out the desperation in me eventually and I'll unwittingly put myself through the same situation again...


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## sanspants08 (Oct 21, 2008)

*Age:* 30, wtf? 
*Sex:* M
*Born extrovert or introvert?* Slightly more introverted
*Ever dated someone?* Yes, several
*Did you date someone before having SA?* No. 
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO? *Somewhat, but it's not a pressing issue. I'll have another at some point. 
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* I don't have one currently, but in the past I felt greatly validated by their presence(s). I've made the most progress through my SA while in relationships. 
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* I don't consciously do it--it's more of a kneejerk reaction.
*Any general opinions/comments:* My view on the SO issue is that while I can probably lead a fulfilling life alone, that fulfillment will be multiplied if I'm happily taken.


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

*Age:* 20
*Sex: *female
*Born extrovert or introvert? *introvert
*Ever dated someone?* once
*Did you date someone before having SA? *No, I really can't remember a time when I had no symptoms of SA ever. I've always been painfully shy, and boys avoid me.
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO? *Yes. I don't care if it makes me sound weak or not, I am so incredibly lonely. 
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* Well, I only had the one boyfriend for a month or two, he was a close friend before (he probably wouldn't say that, but I have a very loose definition of friend, basically if you're nice to me, you're my friend). But it was wonderful until he broke up with me, and that hurt bad and shoved me back into depression and basically confirmed what I'd already suspected - I'm going to be one of those spinster cat ladies.
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* No, never. If someone did ever do that, I'd automatically consider it a joke at my expense. In middle school, boys would always make jokes at my expense, and I've just come to expect that.
*Any general opinions/comments:* I have extreme difficulty believing that anyone could be attracted to me ever (I still don't know whether that's true or not or whether it's the pitifully low self-confidence talking, I have absolutely no idea whether I'm decent looking or not). At the same time, I'm just so terribly lonely. It's a terrible cycle, being repellently miserable because you're lonely.


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

*Age:* 18
*Sex:* Male
*Born extrovert or introvert?* introvert (still am...)
*Ever dated someone?* no...
*Did you date someone before having SA?* eh, I've had SA for as long as I could remember...
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* sometimes I does, sometimes I donts
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* Hypothetically it could be better because someone would understand my SA, and be patient. On the other hand the SA leaves a place for exploitation when out in public. May not be compatible in terms of where we are comfortable etc... Would depend on the SO really.
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* Only If I know the person really well. (It takes me a LONG time to open up to people...)
*Any general opinions/comments: bleh... >.>
*


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

Okay, I'll do this because I'm bored.

*Age:* 26
*Sex:* M
*Born extrovert or introvert?* Not sure
*Ever dated someone?* Not sure.. sort of.. not so much traditional dating
*Did you date someone before having SA?* Not sure when before was
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* Sort of. Being human is probably one of the biggest pressures. Having a sex organ, being capable of emotions, affection, intimacy... By others? Maybe a little bit.
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* I would feel a little more confident having somebody around me when I go out. It maybe kind of creepy that I sort of tag along my older sister. At some point I need to have my own thing going on. I'm kind of old now. Couples seem to do well. Couples hanging out with other couples seems to be a different world than a single male hanging out with a couple. 
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* I guess. I don't know.
*Any general opinions/comments:* Sleeping on your mom's couch doesn't help.


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## Eraserhead (Sep 23, 2006)

*Age*: 21
*Sex*: Male
*Born extrovert or introvert? *Introvert
*Ever dated someone?* Yes
*Did you date someone before having SA?* No
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO? *Not really
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* Yeah. It means having at least one person you can trust, and be with, even if the rest of the world seems scary. I think it makes me feel a bit more confident.
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* I'm not comfortable with it. Unless I'm drunk, I get too self-conscious to pull it off right. Besides, I don't know how I'm supposed to do it.
*Any general opinions/comments*: I think you need to like yourself before trying to get into a relationship. For whatever reason, I currently hate myself, and don't feel there's any way a woman could like me. This causes plenty of problems for me.


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## Shwaggie (Mar 31, 2008)

There is no such thing as having S.A.D. and being extroverted.


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## adsf321dsa (Dec 4, 2008)

Shwaggie said:


> There is no such thing as having S.A.D. and being extroverted.


You don't think? I'm a very social person, but everytime I go out somewhere, I get nauseous and feel like I'm gonna hyperventilate and puke my brains out half the night. It's just something that I work through because the good experiences in my social life are worth the deathlike feeling that I deal with.


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## mongorians (May 4, 2008)

*Age:* 19
*Sex:* Male
*Born extrovert or introvert?* Introvert
*Ever dated someone?* Nope
*Did you date someone before having SA?* Nope
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* Not really
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* Wouldn't know. I assume that I'd be a bit more confident.
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* Sure 
*Any general opinions/comments:* (^_^)


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## Attica! Attica! (Oct 8, 2008)

Age: 19
Sex: Female
Born extrovert or introvert? Introvert
Ever dated someone? Noooo :/
Did you date someone before having SA? Since I was only like 7 before I had SA, no. 
Do you feel pressured to have a SO? Yes, but the dating process seems agonizing 
Does having a SO make any difference with your SA? :stu
Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting? If I'm comfortable with the person. So probably not, lol!
Any general opinions/comments: :wife


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## Indecipherable_Sorrow (Oct 21, 2008)

Age: 19
Sex: Female
Born extrovert or introvert? Introvert
Ever dated someone? Nope
Did you date someone before having SA? Nope
Do you feel pressured to have a SO? Yep
Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?
Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting? Nope
Any general opinions/comments:


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## Lateralus (Oct 28, 2007)

Shwaggie said:


> There is no such thing as having S.A.D. and being extroverted.


That's debatable, but the question was were you born intro/extro. I was definitely extroverted as a kid. I played every sport I could, I was enthusiastic about doing speeches and plays at school, always raised my hand to answer questions in class, made as many friends as I could, etc. Then out of nowhere SA hit in my first year of high school and ruined it all, forcing me to become an introvert. I still have the desires of an extrovert though; that part of me still exists but is trapped behind the fears generated by SA. So I think it is possible to be an extrovert and have SA if you look at it that way.


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## EagerMinnow84 (Sep 1, 2007)

Age: 24
Sex: Lass
Born extrovert or introvert? Introvert
Ever dated someone? I went on dates here and there but I never "dated" anyone.
Did you date someone before having SA? No, always had SA
Do you feel pressured to have a SO? Yes. I put pressure on myself and other people as well. When I see people my age or younger than me with someone it makes me evaluate myself and feel like something is seriously wrong with me.
Does having a SO make any difference with your SA? It would make me feel more confident in myself and comfortable around other people.
Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting? Not really. I feel really stupid if I even consider it. 
Any general opinions/comments: I know having a boyfriend isn't the answer to all of life's problems. I want to know that there is someone out there that loves me for who I am and thinks I am an awesome girl despite being shy and anxious.


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## odd_boi_out (Feb 11, 2008)

Age: 19
Sex: M
Born extrovert or introvert? introvert
Ever dated someone? no
Did you date someone before having SA? no
Do you feel pressured to have a SO? not really
Does having a SO make any difference with your SA? n/a
Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting? not particularly
Any general opinions/comments:


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## kkluv20 (Nov 17, 2008)

Shwaggie said:


> There is no such thing as having S.A.D. and being extroverted.


In a way that seems true, but I think there are people who are forced extroverts. They are social, but the whole time they are battling their anxiety. Also people might experience their anxieties in different situations.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

*Age:*22
*Sex:*M
*Born extrovert or introvert?*Introvert
*Ever dated someone?*Many
*Did you date someone before having SA?*No
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?*Maybe
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?*No
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?*No
*Any general opinions/comments:*I dont mind going on a date if i got Adderall and Klonopin in me


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## MeganC (Nov 23, 2008)

*Age:* 20
*Sex:* Female
*Born extrovert or introvert?* Born introvert, trained extrovert
*Ever dated someone?* I don't know if you can call that dating...
*Did you date someone before having SA?* No
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* No. All I have to do is take a look at who my sister is dating and pat myself on the back.
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* Not really. 
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* I'm more comfortable with that than unconsciously flirting. 
*Any general opinions/comments:* I plead the 5th.


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## mousam (Dec 5, 2008)

*Age:* 21
*Sex:* Female
*Born extrovert or introvert?* introvert
*Ever dated someone?* I've been on a few dates with a couple people
*Did you date someone before having SA?* No, I was too young then
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* Yes...I feel behind being 21 and never having had a boyfriend.
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* I don't think it would, maybe make me happier though. 
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* I don't think so.
*Any general opinions/comments:* I seriously wonder if I'll ever have a boyfriend!


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## lissa530 (Oct 29, 2009)

*Age: 28
Sex: Female*
*Born extrovert or introvert? Introvert*
*Ever dated someone? Yes*
*Did you date someone before having SA? No*
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO? Yes very much!*
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA? Yes makes me feel better over all.*
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting? IDK *
*Any general opinions/comments: Life sucks right now!*


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## Deathinmusic (Jun 5, 2009)

*Age:* 31
*Sex:* Male
*Born extrovert or introvert?* I have aspects of both, I can't say for sure.
*Ever dated someone?* Not exactly. Had a "puppy love" GF as a teen and a few miserably failed and short attempts at relationships.
*Did you date someone before having SA?* I think I already had it to the extent that I have it when I was a teen, so no.
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* No.
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* Not really. It might make me more energetic, active and motivated but probably only in the beginning. I think if I found someone I truly connect with it would make a difference with my SA, yes, but I wouldn't expect it to be a "cure".
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* I think so if the moment is right and I feel some vibes from the girl.
*Any general opinions/comments:* I have been alone for most of my life. I don't know if an intimate relationship would even be possible (or at least sustainable) for me. I want a relationship and have always wanted, but simply haven't been able to go out there and make it happen.


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## low (Sep 27, 2009)

*Age:* 28

*Sex:* Yes Plea... male

*Born extrovert or introvert?* Introvert

*Ever dated someone?* Yes

*Did you date someone before having SA?* Yes

*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* Yes. The loneliness is suffocating. /Violin

*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* I don't have an SO but I imagine it would pick me up somewhat in mood and self worth, general confidence. I agree with the notion that you have to be happy with yourself more than seeking a relationship to provide happiness. Yet it's nice to be cared for and to be a part of a relationship.

*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* No. I'm terrible at it/ have little self worth.

*Any general opinions/comments: *People are quite superficial in general, not everyone and I'm generally uninterested in a lot of mainstream things most people my age are. Then probably not interested in enough things outside of that.

I tend to not enjoy trying new things and stick to my comfort zone or trying/doing things I'm bad at. I never understood/don't get the 'fun' in that.

I'm terrible at conversation at times and do feel uncomfortable about it at times also, though not always. Other times I'm fine with silences. I think people tend to talk crap/small talk for most part of conversation's to the point of irritating anyway. On the contrary I think people should learn a bit of reticence and not bombard people so much with their over extrovert personalities and opinion's in any case. I guess this makes me unfriendly and I suppose I am.

Absolutely no idea why I ranted that.


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

Age: 20
Sex: Female
Born extrovert or introvert? Introvert
Ever dated someone? Yes
Did you date someone before having SA? Yes
Do you feel pressured to have a SO? No
Does having a SO make any difference with your SA? No
Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting? Yes
Any general opinions/comments: It would be nice to find a boy I could actually love.


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## Fantas Eyes (Mar 23, 2011)

*Age:* 20
*Sex:* Female
*Born extrovert or introvert?* Introvert
*Ever dated someone?* No
*Did you date someone before having SA?* No
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* No, I know lots of people who have had long droughts.
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* I wouldn't think it would.
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* no
*Any general opinions/comments: *I'm tired of being single, but I think I'm too picky.


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

*Age:* 22
*Sex: *Male
*Born extrovert or introvert?* A bit of both, more extrovert when i was a kid.
*Ever dated someone?* No
*Did you date someone before having SA?* n/a
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* No
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* wouldn't know.
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* Maybe.
*Any general opinions/comments: *poop


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## Sabriella (Nov 23, 2009)

*Age:* 20
*Sex:* Female
*Born extrovert or introvert?* Introvert
*Ever dated someone?* No
*Did you date someone before having SA?* No
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* Yes
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* Possibly
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* Yes
*Any general opinions/comments:* I don't want a relationship at the moment. I would rather feel more comfortable with myself first.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

*Age*: 25
*Sex*: M
*Born extrovert or introvert?* I was born with both. I don't believe in being just one because it is impossible.
*Ever dated someone?* Yes
*Did you date someone before having SA?* Yes
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* At times but I'm learning to be happy without one.
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* No
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* Yes, depending on the situation
*Any general opinions/comments:* no


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## Desi (Nov 18, 2003)

25
Female
Introvert
I've dated people before.
I've had SA all my life and I've dated
I used to feel pressure to have a so when I was in HS. Everyone had a bf but not me. 
Having a bf does nothing to help my SA.
I don't flirt with people. I don't think I know how to.
No further comment. Thanks for the interview.


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## Timeofallout (Jun 23, 2010)

*Age:*23
*Sex:*Male
*Born extrovert or introvert?*Introvert
*Ever dated someone?*Yes
*Did you date someone before having SA?*No
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?*Most definitely, but I believe most of the pressure comes from within.
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?*Only to the extent that I do not have to worry about if I'll ever find someone. 
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?*No. But I do tend to flirt if flirted with first. 
*Any general opinions/comments:*Nope.


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## lanzman (Jun 14, 2004)

*Age:* Old
*Sex:* M
*Born extrovert or introvert?* Introverted Extrovert
*Ever dated someone?* Yes, once in High School. Once in 2006 for a very short time. It was long distance with someone I knew from high school but things didn't work out due to distance and other factors.
*Did you date someone before having SA*? Have always had SA just didn't know what it was called back then. 
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO*? Just from myself, because I wish I could have one. But with SA don't have it in me to pursue one.
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA? *It would depend on the SO. I'd need someone more extroverted that could kick start me every once in a while to be more social. 
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting*? I'd be comfortable with flirting/pda once in a relationship. But don't ever see that happening given I can never get past the awkwardness of asking someone on a date.
*Any general opinions/comments*: I kinda feel I'm a lost cause at this point.


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## VidaDuerme (May 28, 2011)

*Age:* 20
*Sex:* Female
*Born extrovert or introvert?* Fairly introverted, can fake being an extrovert if needed. 
*Ever dated someone?* Yes. Five relationships with any length to them, a handful of casual dates over the years. 
*Did you date someone before having SA?* No. 
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* Not really. I enjoy being single and I enjoy relationships. I have a lot of trouble making lasting commitments, though. 
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* If anything, it makes it worse. I tend to be more calm when I'm single and not looking. 
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* To a point. I can't flirt with strangers, but there is a certain amount innate flirty-ness when I've known someone for a fair bit. 
*Any general opinions/comments:* I fall into relationships. I don't really go looking for them, and they tend to confuse the hell out of me. I'll be dating someone, wake up one morning, and go "How the hell did this happen?" I'm not particularly attractive and I'm ridiculously awkward, but apparently I have a sort of puppy like charm when I'm not over analyzing everything I do.

*shrug* Really, I have no idea how I keep ending up in relationships.


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## MojoCrunch (Mar 25, 2011)

*Age:* 23
*Sex: *Female
*Born extrovert or introvert?*: Introvert
*Ever dated someone?: *Yes
*Did you date someone before having SA?*: Well, I kind of always had SA. But when I did actually date guys, I remember having alcohol or some kind of drug to help me which blocked out my generally awkward behavior. I was really relient on those things to help me be social.
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?*: Yeah, usually when all my friends had boyfriends and I was kind of the only one that didn't.
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?*: It definitely feels nice to have someone to talk to, suck face with, and be close to. You feel good about yourself and it's very exciting in the beginning stages.
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?*: Somewhat. I personally don't like doing it because I feel like I come across as some kind of ho' when I flirt. So in that case, no. F*** flirting.
*Any general opinions/comments: *Right now I'm pretty happy being single. But pretty soon the ticking time bomb is going to come around and I'm going to want to have that special relationship again. Feels weird going back to square one where you don't know whether you'll even find someone and then there's that fear of rejection. Sometimes I feel like too many relationships are based on what the person can get out of the other person. It's hard for most people to believe, but guys CAN like a girl for their personality more than their looks. I'm not ugly but I'm not a perfect 10 so I know most guys I dated didn't date me for those reasons. But at the same time, I feel like personality can wither away and dry out just like looks can. Like you always have to be on display and performing.

I just want someone that will make me happy that bring out the best in me. It'd be really great to date a nice guy. Hopefully some of his good qualities can rub off on me.  I think after dating so many pseudo-confident douches I've decided that I need a guy that is a genuinely kind and nice person. Oh well, we'll see what happens.


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## sansd (Mar 22, 2006)

*Age:* 26
*Sex:* Female
*Born extrovert or introvert?* Introvert.
*Ever dated someone?* Yes, I had one undesired 5.5-year relationship.
*Did you date someone before having SA?* No.
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* No.
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* No?
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* No.
*Any general opinions/comments:* No.


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## Duke of Prunes (Jul 20, 2009)

*Age:* <----
*Sex:* <----
*Born extrovert or introvert?* Extroverted through and through.
*Ever dated someone?* N
*Did you date someone before having SA?* I've always had SA
*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* Y
*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* No idea
*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* Y
*Any general opinions/comments:* This thread is really old.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

*Age:* 29
*
Sex:* Male
*
Born extrovert or introvert?* Introvert
*
Ever dated someone?* Yeah
*
Did you date someone before having SA?* I don't have anxiety, I'm avoidant. And no, I didn't date anyone before I started being socially avoidant.

*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* Yes. Being romantically involved provides a certain sense of fulfillment. I want that, so I do feel pressured to get it.

*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* In a way. Not significantly though.

*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* Yes. Flirting is quite amusing.

*Any general opinions/comments:* None.


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## Motionless Sway (May 30, 2011)

*Age:* 29

*Sex:* M

*Born extrovert or introvert?* Introvert

*Ever dated someone?* Yes

*Did you date someone before having SA?* Had it all my life, so nope.

*Do you feel pressured to have a SO?* Yes, especially since I'm about to turn 30 and haven't had a real relationship in about 4 years. I've gone out with women since, but nothing too serious.

*Does having a SO make any difference with your SA?* Yes, I was willing to go out more and she helped encourage me to try and I wanted to get better for not only myself, but for her. Hell, she even took me to the opera once and I had to dress all fancy and not laugh at what people were wearing. She was really good at making me feel better if I failed or did something like making a simple phone call. It feels great to have someone by your side, being understanding and supportive. Having someone to talk to and listen to is a great feeling. It makes me feel almost normal where not only can I depend on someone, but it feels good that someone can depend on me. Someone I would be there for during the good and bad in her own life. However, the hardest part in having an SO is having to meet her friends and family and having to sometimes hang around with them. But I've been lucky enough where everyone I've met has been nice.

*Do you feel comfortable with the idea of consciously flirting?* I flirt when I drink or harmless flirting with friends if I know they know it's harmless, and I love flirting when I'm with someone in a serious relationship, it's really fun. Unless of course, she doesn't like it, which hasn't been my experience as of yet.

*Any general opinions/comments:* Being in a relationship takes extra effort for us, because you have to be there for them. As I mentioned before, you have to meet their family and friends, you talk on the phone a lot (which I got used to pretty well with my relationships, but I can't really make phone calls to anyone else but family). They may ask you to do something for them that's really simple to them like making a phone call, or going with her to a social gathering. Personally, I was able to go to the social gatherings, but not make the phone calls.


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