# 2 bad experiences with therapy



## deist78 (Nov 12, 2003)

I've had two bad experiences with therapy and i don't know if i can try again. My first therapist was a complete joke. She kept on giving me nonsense homework assiigments like taking my temerature at different times a day. Then I told her I had trouble meeting women. She spent a whole session looking at my myspace profile and then told me to change it. When she told me to start asking out ugly fat women to get more comfortable, I quit. 
My second therpaist was a nice guy, but pretty much the same as the first. One homework assisgment he gave me was to just smile at people while i was walking down the street. He was always trying to get me to do things that I wasn't ready to do. Sometimes I just want someone I can talk to. I don't necessarily want the stress of homework assigments.


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## User (Mar 20, 2004)

Try a different school of therapy, like psychodynamic.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

yeah, if you have the money or insurance try some specialist if you can find one in your area. good luck finding a good therapist who knows social anxiety


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## Drew (Jan 23, 2006)

I went through a handful of therapists before I found one that I clicked with. It was a great point of anxiety for me to end the relationships I had with the therapists, but I did it and all of them were still very supportive of me finding someone that met my needs and I was comfortable with.

The therapist I did find helped me work through some serious trauma from early in my life that I had dismissed as unimportant.

Don't give up yet!


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## emandem (Sep 2, 2007)

Gosh.. okay so the first thing is, do you think talking will make things any better? Just talking, no action?

I beg to differ. You get used to it, just complaining about how hard things are and just leave the work for 'sometime in hte future i feel more comfortable'

Will that day ever come? I think its better you actually DO something because you already KNOW everything. 
I don't think therapists want you to be at the same stage, talking about the same stuff over and over again and not see you progress.

If the homework is tho as ridiculous as the assignments you had to do with your first therapist, then you need to say something. You will always have a say on things and its better when you & your therapist will find a solution _together_. 
I don't want to sound harsh, but you will never overcome SA if you don't do anything.


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## david90 (Mar 21, 2004)

Homework should never be a walk in the park but it shouldn't be too scary either. I should be somewhere in between. The road to recovery will not be easy.

You have to face your fear.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

I agree with the comments that actions that take your out of your comfort zone are absolutely necessary, almost by definition, to improve your situation.

The "comfort zone" is the biggest enemy we have if the goal is "change."


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## shy_chick (Sep 27, 2006)

If you are uncomfortable or it is too overwhelming it would help you to discuss it. Someone suggested here I discussed with my therapist that I didn't feel like I was making progress and that it didn't seem to be working. They also pointed out that it was a long process and could be slow starting. I'm still with the same schema therapist and finding it useful, but it is a slow process.
Your first therapist sounds bad, the second one is potentially OK if they understood your concerns-they might not know. Don't give up on therapists.
It can be tough to find the right therapist I had 1 in school, 2 at university, 2 at a women's counselling service, screening for CBT, screening for psychotherapy, relationshsips one, CBT one and finally my schema therapist who seems to be directly tackling the problems.


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## Kathy11 (Jul 20, 2008)

Does therapist mean a psychologist or a psychiatrist or is it a general term that can mean both? I hope that everyone finds a good therapist soon


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## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

Check out a therapist's educational background! Sounds like those two weren't educated at all and thought psychology is just something that you can pull out of your sleeve!


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## Solitario (Aug 28, 2008)

deist78 said:


> I've had two bad experiences with therapy and i don't know if i can try again. My first therapist was a complete joke. She kept on giving me nonsense homework assiigments like taking my temerature at different times a day. Then I told her I had trouble meeting women. She spent a whole session looking at my myspace profile and then told me to change it. *When she told me to start asking out ugly fat women to get more comfortable, I quit. *
> My second therpaist was a nice guy, but pretty much the same as the first. *One homework assisgment he gave me was to just smile at people while i was walking down the street*. He was always trying to get me to do things that I wasn't ready to do. Sometimes I just want someone I can talk to. I don't necessarily want the stress of homework assigments.


I don't see what's wrong with these. The first one is harshly put, but it make perfect sense to ask someone out who you're not as physically attracted to because the pressure won't be as great. Second is good because it helps get you in the habit of smiling which makes you more appealing to other people.


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## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

Kathy11 said:


> Does therapist mean a psychologist or a psychiatrist or is it a general term that can mean both? I hope that everyone finds a good therapist soon


Therapists are either psychologists or licensed social workers generally. Maybe some psychiatrists do therapy too, but my experience is that they just prescribe meds.


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