# I can't get over what my cousin did



## birdlady (Jan 22, 2013)

Six year's ago i had two cockatiels (birds) which were a pair.The male my sister gave to me when i was 3, he is now 20 and still alive, the female my cousin gave to me when i was 6.My cousin has alway's been obnoxious, he would continuously ask me "does a cat have your tongue" or "what's wrong with you snob" i didn't have long conversations with him because he would tease me and pinch me.when i was 16 my cousin was visiting, i was outside and when i came back in the house i saw him getting in the car with a box.I didn't think anything of it but i went into my room and noticed the female cockatiel was gone.I had an argument with my mom who told me my cousin said he wanted the bird back because "she was sick and it was his bird" she had a small noncancerous lump on her wing which didn't effect her much.My mother and i went to get the bird back and as i pulled in the driveway i saw him in his yard with a shovel, he killed her once he got home.I couldn't speak and just sort of froze up.My sister started screaming "how did you kill her" and dug up the dead bird and my cousin said how he did it which made thing's worse for me.
Recently i have been having to see my cousin a lot, he and his girlfriend moved back in with my aunt. he is getting married in a few months and my family have been going to help his girlfriend set up the wedding arrangements.I actually don't hate anyone but him and i dislike his girlfriend just because she likes him. even though my sister did, i can't forgive him.He never apologized or did anything to show that he is sorry.Every time i see him i think about what he did and if i had did something different it wouldn't have happened and i feel like i can't breathe then leave the room and i feel awful the rest of the day.For a while i blamed my mother too but she did say she was sorry for letting him take the bird, i somehow forgave her.
I know you probably think it's just a bird but when i grew up i had no friend's and my bird's were what kept me company so they were like my best friend's.Sometimes it's not even about the way he killed my bird or that he took what was mine, it's that he think's it's ok to treat me badly.
I want to stop thinking about what he did when i see him.i told my parent's i don't want to go to his wedding, i know it will make me angry and sad.However my aunt called my mom and asked her why i wasn't going my mom told my aunt "she is still mad about that bird" my aunt said "that was year's ago and if she can't get over that she has to have major problems" so my mother told me i had to go or my aunt would be talking about me to everyone.I think i am going to try to go,this week i have been seeing him and since i try not to listen to him or look into his eyes i haven't been having panic attacks but i still feel very angry and want to run in the other direction when i see him.I do want to get over this but i just can't figure out how.


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## Grog (Sep 13, 2013)

birdlady said:


> Six year's ago i had two cockatiels (birds) which were a pair.The male my sister gave to me when i was 3, he is now 20 and still alive, the female my cousin gave to me when i was 6.My cousin has alway's been obnoxious, he would continuously ask me "does a cat have your tongue" or "what's wrong with you snob" i didn't have long conversations with him because he would tease me and pinch me.when i was 16 my cousin was visiting, i was outside and when i came back in the house i saw him getting in the car with a box.I didn't think anything of it but i went into my room and noticed the female cockatiel was gone.I had an argument with my mom who told me my cousin said he wanted the bird back because "she was sick and it was his bird" she had a small noncancerous lump on her wing which didn't effect her much.My mother and i went to get the bird back and as i pulled in the driveway i saw him in his yard with a shovel, he killed her once he got home.I couldn't speak and just sort of froze up.My sister started screaming "how did you kill her" and dug up the dead bird and my cousin said how he did it which made thing's worse for me.
> Recently i have been having to see my cousin a lot, he and his girlfriend moved back in with my aunt. he is getting married in a few months and my family have been going to help his girlfriend set up the wedding arrangements.I actually don't hate anyone but him and i dislike his girlfriend just because she likes him. even though my sister did, i can't forgive him.He never apologized or did anything to show that he is sorry.Every time i see him i think about what he did and if i had did something different it wouldn't have happened and i feel like i can't breathe then leave the room and i feel awful the rest of the day.For a while i blamed my mother too but she did say she was sorry for letting him take the bird, i somehow forgave her.
> I know you probably think it's just a bird but when i grew up i had no friend's and my bird's were what kept me company so they were like my best friend's.Sometimes it's not even about the way he killed my bird or that he took what was mine, it's that he think's it's ok to treat me badly.
> I want to stop thinking about what he did when i see him.i told my parent's i don't want to go to his wedding, i know it will make me angry and sad.However my aunt called my mom and asked her why i wasn't going my mom told my aunt "she is still mad about that bird" my aunt said "that was year's ago and if she can't get over that she has to have major problems" so my mother told me i had to go or my aunt would be talking about me to everyone.I think i am going to try to go,this week i have been seeing him and since i try not to listen to him or look into his eyes i haven't been having panic attacks but i still feel very angry and want to run in the other direction when i see him.I do want to get over this but i just can't figure out how.


What an *** hole I wouldn't ever forgive him and would definitely not go to the wedding and every body who thinks badly of you can go to hell what a prick 
If he ever talks to you tell him that you'll never forgive him and he can go and get f ucked psycho
That's me but


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## melissaS94 (Oct 6, 2013)

*Wow...*

Your aunt and cousin are both disgusting. She has no rights to say you have major problems when your cousin randomly killed an innocent creature for no reason! And the fact he went into detail about it? He's the one who needs a psychological evaluation. And your aunt should shut her mouth. Its your life and what you do with your life is your business. She does not have the right to go around talking about you if you don't go. Me personally, I have a dog who I love with all my heart. I'm always spoiling him and kissing him and there are people out there that are like "its just a dog." And that gets me so angry because I love my dog more than most people; he's sweet, doesn't judge me, and loves me back. I can only imagine the pain you felt when your cousin did that....If you don't feel comfortable going to the wedding, don't go. Do what makes you comfortable and happy. Your bird is in a better place now and you will be reunited with her again someday. May your beautiful bird rest in peace <3 and may you have a wonderful day


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## housebunny (Oct 22, 2010)

I agree with the above posters. Personally, I don't think you should go if you don't want to. I say that because from what I gather from your post, it isn't just about what happened with the bird...though I can see that was traumatic...but it sounds like you have plenty of reasons to feel unsafe with him.


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## losteternal (Apr 1, 2013)

I Would Not forgive him and i Would tell the stupid aunt her son is an effing Monster. If you Do Have to go Take a shovel with you and wack the evil scumbag as hard as you Can.


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## KelsKels (Oct 4, 2011)

melissaS94 said:


> Your aunt and cousin are both disgusting. She has no rights to say you have major problems when your cousin randomly killed an innocent creature for no reason! And the fact he went into detail about it? He's the one who needs a psychological evaluation. And your aunt should shut her mouth. Its your life and what you do with your life is your business. She does not have the right to go around talking about you if you don't go. Me personally, I have a dog who I love with all my heart. I'm always spoiling him and kissing him and there are people out there that are like "its just a dog." And that gets me so angry because I love my dog more than most people; he's sweet, doesn't judge me, and loves me back. I can only imagine the pain you felt when your cousin did that....If you don't feel comfortable going to the wedding, don't go. Do what makes you comfortable and happy.


Yup, exactly. Your cousin is obviously cruel and rude to you and the things you care about. Why the hell should you forgive him if he doesnt care anyways? I would *not *go to the wedding.


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## zonebox (Oct 22, 2012)

I don't blame you one bit, the guy sounds like a sociopath. What a jerk, wow.. I can see that marriage failing miserably after his fiance figures out how he really is.


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## birdlady (Jan 22, 2013)

Thank's everyone for your support and advice.It means a lot to me that i am not the crazy one after being told for six years i was acting childish.When i first met his girlfriend i thought about telling her what he did but she was calling my uncle "a retard" so i figured maybe she is just as awful as my cousin.I don't think i will ever forgive him but i think i am going to go to the wedding. i'm not going to buy him a wedding gift though.I can eat the expensive food (his girlfriend's parent's ordered special cakes and hired people to make the food) plus i get to see my family that is coming from other states.My aunt is the type of person that constantly talk's about everyone behind their back so i will be there to say something back to her and if thing's get bad for me i can just hide in my family's car or in the bathroom.


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## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

dont go to his wedding who care what people think that was your pet and he gave it to you it was not his any more


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## ASB20 (Jun 5, 2013)

Honestly, I wouldn't go. Your aunt sounds like (pardon me for my judgments) a horrific ***** who'll talk about anybody behind their back anyway. Sounds like she's trying to blackmail you into making the wedding one person larger.

Forget your cousin. He's a disgusting human being. Your best bet would be to leave him in your past. Bringing him back into your present will only dredge up bad feelings. With such people, it's best to burn the bridge down...and poison the river it stood over for good measure.

The only reason I can see going would be to deck your aunt in the face. That might be worth it. Just _pow_, right in the eyeball.


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## wrongnumber (May 24, 2009)

I wouldn't go either. I have a sadistic cousin who mistreats his dog and I'd have called RSPCA on him years ago if it existed in his country. I did confront him (over a different thing - disrespectful behaviour towards me), and that helped me feel better about the whole situation. Not saying you have to do that, but I wouldn't even passively send the message that all is well by attending his wedding. These people often have a parent that defends them too, and that parent is usually a delusional write off who twists the blame onto other people. If I were you I'd try my hardest to never see either of them ever again.


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## GlimmerBanjo (Sep 30, 2013)

You should write him and tell him what he did was awful. I think part of why you can't let go is because he never said sorry!!! Killing animals is not ok!!!


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## losteternal (Apr 1, 2013)

Birdlady It is Definately Not you. Anyone who thinks you were childish over the bird Has got something Very wrong with them. That was wicked What your cousin did, unforgiveable.


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