# Sticky  Must Watch: Six part video on Social Anxiety Disorder



## xTKsaucex

Its a 6 part film, should auto play them all. Hope this helps in some way or another...

Links to all six parts in case the auto play doesn't work:
1) 



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5) 



6)


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## bunnie

I remember watching this before and I watched it again. Thanks for posting; it made me feel better seeing actual people who suffer from this.


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## peach123

xTKsaucex said:


> Its a 6 part film, should auto play them all. Hope this helps in some way or another...


Thank you for posting this, I am glad that there is more information being given to help those of us who need to see this, it made me feel better and I was glad to see someone who suffered with SAD actually getting up and doing a presentation, I hope to do the same in time.


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## lil lynn

This is great. Thanks for posting.


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## fredbloggs02

The outside of the outsiders.. My family have that chemical imbalance though noone openly talks about it unless I ask. One of my uncles killed himself because of it and my mother used to have visions of these intangible things. Doesn't it feel slightly I don't know, the wrong point of view to be hearing someone describe themselves this way? I don't feel it possible to grasp the world as they do, to say without outright certainty this is the way I go with the outsider inside me. Something tells me the video is everything I would say if I were an actor playing the part of a socially anxious person but untrue somewhere. Impersonal, disassociated. I don't think living yourself is something turned on at a prompt, it's impossible yet, they have that assurance they do the prompt honor. I'd be careful watching this, it misses something and it seems almost too useful, too understanding, too empathetic.


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## luctus

I think I found this when I first joined from your link. I had just started considering the fact that I had SA. Yes, a month ago it actually occurred to me to consider the reality of my situation. I was in such a weird denial; it was obvious. I knew I felt it and I knew something had been seriously wrong my entire life. And yet, whenever my therapist brought it up I was so defensive and hostile to the idea. 

Yes, this was a good start to my beginning search on everything I could find out about SA.


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## Drew

Thanks for sharing this! 

I'm sticky-ing the thread so that it's always up at the top of the forum.

I also slightly changed the title. I hope you don't mind.


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## Bolero

That's a great way to show the basics of SA for someone who dont know much about it.


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## Drifting Asea

Thank-you for posting this, it was great to see that recovery is possible, and that even Donny Osmond, how seems extremely confident and sure of himself, suffered from it! It definitely helps to know we're not alone. Thanks again!


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## ReincarnatedRose

I enjoyed the video and I thought some of the information was useful. I also thought the accounts were very honest and I don't understand the suspicion that these people were actors. I don't see what about them would warrant that, but everyone has their POV.

Anyway, the woman doing presentations on that video really struck a cord with me because she sounded *exactly* like myself.

And I actually liked the line, "I feel like the outsider of outsiders" (not sure if that was the exact quote...). That felt like a very accurate statement because many times when you are an "outsider" in the typical sense you are simply different from others. Yet, with SA, sometimes you can be similar to others and yet you don't fit in. When you have SA, you have a sense that you could belong and yet something that feels out of your control is keeping you from belonging so that adds another level of outside-ness (if you will), so I really enjoyed that statement.

As for the advice, I do appreciate that they mentioned both medication and CBT because some programs will only highlight medication, which I have tried (and really do NOT recommend).


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## CK1708

Thanks for posting that.


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## CreamCheese

legit started tearing up when I saw the little girl with selective mutism. that is exactly what I had at her age and it was manifested in the same exact way. Although I don't have selective mutism and can talk to people, I still think way too much about what people think about me. Thanks for sharing.


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## SPC

ill be trying to find ways to show friends this video without exposing my situation. thanks very much for sharing.


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## wxolue

This video made me cry.


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## xTKsaucex

Drew said:


> Thanks for sharing this!
> 
> I'm sticky-ing the thread so that it's always up at the top of the forum.
> 
> I also slightly changed the title. I hope you don't mind.


Just noticed. And yeah no probs its all meant to help and show others there are people genuinely wanting to help battle this disorder.


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## greenking

this is good but I feel like people who don't have SAD will either not take this video seriously or they'll think its bull****


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## MojoCrunch

Thanks for posting. This vid was very informative and everything that woman described about having SA (procrastinating and prolonging things just to avoid going to work and then feeling like crap on the way to work, etc.) pretty much is the same for me. Especially when I was in college. The only time when I didn't have massive anxiety was when I was on drugs. This vid made my day.


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## consistentlyinconsistent

This is really interesting. I'm new to the site as of yesterday. Sure I've always felt "different" but I do not know if I have SA. Yesterday I thought maybe I did. Today after reading more and taking surveys I thought no, definitely not. But within 4 minutes of this video I'm like "OMG that is so me."

Still I have my doubts. I don't get panic attacks when I'm out in public. I don't care if people see me do things unless it's something truly embarrassing.


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## Jennifer Clayton

I really didn't think I was going to watch the whole video, but I did, about an hour.

It made me really feel connected to these people, and to watch them slowly overcome something so painful and so terrible, it made me feel like I had a bit of a chance. :] Really, thanks for posting.


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## Noca

Ugh so many ignorant people on youtube to educate, so little patience.


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## MoniqueS

Thank you for posting this! I think I'll post it on my blog as well.


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## AngryGerbil

Thanks for posting I am so excited to watch this


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## recover

*thanks*

thanks


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## fanatic203

Thanks for posting. Made me cry. I may post it to facebook.


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## xTKsaucex

I forgot to mention - Its $5 a watch. So 1600+ people owe me money for no particular reason. 

Glad its helping some peeps here though


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## iwishiwasaway

Thanks. Watching this makes me want to get help more..Just to afraid to do soo. I often feel like I wont be able to discuss certain issues with someone I dont know. Plus, I find it difficult to reflect and discuss pass examples and moments.

Also, its not surprising that lady has SA and is a psychologist.


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## golfstarguy

opk


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## golfstarguy

Hi MoniqueS. whats ur blog??


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## johnny93

I never thought that a psychologist would have mental illnesses, such as SAD. I'm glad I've now seen this documentary.

It's helped me deciding what to do next. 
Thank you *xTKsaucex.*


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## uhhhbrandon

Thanks for posting these videos. It's nice to actually see someone with SA.


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## Persephone The Dread

This means a lot to me because as a young girl I was diagnosed with selective mutism, only they never told my parents and the only way my mum even found out was much later on a report my brother had under the section on family background... It makes me angry to think about the fact that some people don't get help. I am now 20 and I hope that more people get help at a young age then they do now...

Eventually I improved, and have improved a lot more since more since moving to uni, though recently things seem to be getting worse again due to isolation and I still have problems. The thing that bothers me the most is the fact that my parents don't understand that this is an actual mental health problem, they think that it's all normal, and it's fine to feel like I do, especially my dad who was also always shy though I don't know if he ever suffered from SA. I kind of wish they would watch something like this and realise it's not that easy.


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## love is like a dream

Thanks xTKsaucex ^


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## Jessie203

Thx for the post
I shall watch this
I love docs!


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## isolatedthinker

*The outside of the outsiders.*

This is exactly how I feel, its like at home I am fine but when I go out on my own. It is like I am the only one in a post apocalyptic world I can communicated to, and I shut down or become really awkward/incapable to talk to without any direct meaning. With a particular bias to women in some cases but generally both genders. So its simply not some fear of girls thing...<tell that to my parents.>


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## Justin04

Thank you for posting these videos. They were pretty informative and I'm glad treatment worked on the people shown.


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## Christina123

I cried watching that documentary.


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## Anti depressant

I'm on the fourth video. It's really good so far and I think it's really helped understand my condition and where I am right now with regards to getting over my social anxiety that I once had. I think that I certainly have developed some conditioning for how I deal with people that I feel that I need to overcome. I would disagree with their opinion that medication is the answer. When I've been on medication it's made me feel much more dumbed down and it's really made me feel worse and oppressed me. It hasn't made me feel better.


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## comicbookkid

Fucc its not hd


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## seeker28

Cool, going to check it out now. Thanks for posting.


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## winky

Thank you SO much for posting this. It's almost 4am here but I could not go to sleep until I watched the whole documentary. It was fascinating and heartbreaking and inspiring and beautiful. I was in tears watching it and holding back tears as I write this. I can identify with SO much of what the people in the video said. 

I didn't know there was a name for how I am. I didn't know that other people felt like this; I felt like I was alone, and I know now that I am not.

When they showed the little girl who did not talk at all in school, talking at home a mile a minute- that was me. I always felt like I could get through the school day because as soon as I could get to my house, I could be the real me again. I think that's why I never turned to alcohol; never got depressed or contemplated suicide; because I had a safe haven at home... 

No one knows how desperately I struggle with this; I did not intend to tell my mom or sisters (my dad passed away last May) because I don't want them to feel sorry for me; I don't want my mom to feel bad because she didn't get help for me; how COULD she when I was so adept at hiding how bad things were for me?

It also really struck me when they were mentioned that this runs in families. We have never talked much about this, but my dad and mom were always homebodies- never socialized much. My dad didn't graduate; instead getting his GED. Why? Because he had to take a speech class and it was impossible for him to get up and give the speech. My mom was 28 before she got her license (I still don't have mine yet.) My aunt did not get hers until she was in her 20s. My grandmother had certain things about her, when I look back, that lead me to believe that this may have been an issue for her as well.

Wow. I can't get over this. My boyfriend and I are spending the weekend together and I am going to show him this video; he's been trying to help me figure out why I have so many fears, and I can't wait to show this to him. After he and I talk, I am going to post this on facebook and out myself. I want everyone to know about this so that if anyone else I know is going through it, they can watch the video and feel hope.

The outsider of the outsider. That is just how I felt in school. 

Sorry for going on and on... I just am so emotional right now... if I wasn't so exhausted this would no doubt be longer (and more coherent lol...)

Thank you for posting this, xTKsaucex. I owe ya five bucks!


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## stephh

ReincarnatedRose said:


> Yet, with SA, sometimes you can be similar to others and yet you don't fit in. When you have SA, you have a sense that you could belong and yet something that feels out of your control is keeping you from belonging so that adds another level of outside-ness (if you will), so I really enjoyed that statement.


That's exactly how I feel :?


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## winky

ReincarnatedRose said:


> When you have SA, you have a sense that you could belong and yet something that feels out of your control is keeping you from belonging so that adds another level of outside-ness...


YES! I have always, always felt like this. I didn't understand why I was always either ignored or bullied, because in my opinion, I wasn't "that" strange, or weird, or ugly. In the last few years, when trying to make sense of my school years, I've actually said that to people, in slightly different words: that it didn't make sense to me, on the surface I didn't look that different from other kids, and on the inside (and at home) I was just as outgoing and friendly and smart and funny as any of them. I told my boyfriend a few months ago that I always wished just ONE of my classmates would have reached out to me and taken the time to get to know me, but that didn't happen.

The little girl in the video has friends even though she didn't talk at all: that made me so emotional. Even though she struggles, she won't feel ostracized like I and so many of us did in school.

This video affected me so much; I fell asleep at 5am after watching it and woke up before 11. I could not go back to sleep; my mind is racing.


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## wheelbarrow

the documentary is a sob story. it tells the viewer to feel sorry for themselves and doesn't really punish them as it should. the best documentary is one that doesn't make excuses for its sufferers and doesn't feed into their self-pity. We need to experience discomfort, pain and humiliation, not fake acceptance, if we're to improve lives.


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## Iwannabemyself

It's great to see the video and to know that I'm not the only one. We have to somehow accept outselves... but it's so hard though


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## manneirsm

beautiful


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## ChrisA

I clicked on this post by mistake...was trying to click on the haircut thread. Arg. I cant believe this is still out there. This was a long time ago. I participated in it. Feel like I just got punched in the stomach...lots of old feelings. Things are better now though. Made a lot of progress over the SA.


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## Knowbody

i've seen this years ago but thanks

i'm currently looking for a higher quality version


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## SylvanFox

This video looks interesting. I can't wait til I have time to watch it!


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## boubou

wheelbarrow said:


> the documentary is a sob story. it tells the viewer to feel sorry for themselves and doesn't really punish them as it should. the best documentary is one that doesn't make excuses for its sufferers and doesn't feed into their self-pity. We need to experience discomfort, pain and humiliation, not fake acceptance, if we're to improve lives.


ya punish someone for having SA, so that he gets traumatized even more and never makes a move ever again, that sounds like the right approach. ****ing ***** therapists and doctors who know nothing about humans behavior unlike you.


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## thiggy

I think this video was great because it shows us how many people suffers from SA. Wow, I didn't know it was the third most common disorder in the US. I wonder how many suffers from this in my country (Brazil). Unfortunately, not everyone thinks it was a good video.

This link have a full, better quality video:




enjoy it! ^_^


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## xTKsaucex

winky said:


> Thank you for posting this, xTKsaucex. I owe ya five bucks!


I'll send you my address ;]

Reading through your post I couldn't help but smile. SO glad its helped.


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## Lost in Universe

Great video, especially for me that only found out of my condition 5 months ago, before i just taught i was another weirdo.


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## mom901

Can this video be purchased and downloaded somewhere?


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## Drew

It's available only as a VHS tape here:
http://www.freedomfromfear.org/ftp/BOOKSTORE/videos.html


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## sickofshyness

Thank you for posting-really helpful!


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## Cervantes

This was really helpful, thanks


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## el flaco

Great post, watching the doc fills me with a lot of hope and motivation to improve.


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## el flaco

boubou said:


> ya punish someone for having SA, so that he gets traumatized even more and never makes a move ever again, that sounds like the right approach. ****ing ***** therapists and doctors who know nothing about humans behavior unlike you.


Its only after becoming a complete outcast at uni did I decide to seek help


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## ak2218

Great video here! I watched this a while back but to this day it still inspires me to evolve as an individual


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## 8love8

I was definitely the oddball growing up...I never knew why I was so afraid of interacting with other people...I never told my folks I had panic attacks, ate by myself or escaped to the restroom between classes crying wishing I would just die...Then repeat the same process over an over for years until I finally broke down & tried to kill myself...It was the groundhog day of living hell...I suppose I could be worse off...I could be dead, but I live...And I would like to think I'm alive for a reason...Maybe I can help others in pain...Maybe just maybe I.......Well, I'm here & I love everybody...Having a good positive attitude can help tremendously...I may not be 100% better yet, but I'm trying like heck to get there


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## RenegadeReloaded

Found a slightly better quality video here:






how can i embedd this link ?


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## TeddieAnn

Thanks for posting this. I'm surprised I'd never stumbled upon it until now.


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## jonny neurotic

I want to know how to switch off my amygdalae. I have an unfavourable fronatal lobe to amygdala ratio. I need stimulants to swithc on my frontal lobes now I must discover how to switch off my amygdalae...


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## Zarrix

This is brilliant, one of the best videos I have watched in some time.


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## RenegadeReloaded

jonny neurotic said:


> I want to know how to switch off my amygdalae. I have an unfavourable fronatal lobe to amygdala ratio. I need stimulants to swithc on my frontal lobes now I must discover how to switch off my amygdalae...


I found about this amygdala thing about 4 years ago, when searching for therapies for anxiety. U may wanna search on The Linden method. It hasn't worked for me, but to be honest, I didn;t gived it so much a serious try.

But i rememebered it's all about imagining it moving and it will happen. Good luck. Also torrents are your best friends if u wanna search the method, not just google.


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## jonny neurotic

RenegadeReloaded said:


> I found about this amygdala thing about 4 years ago, when searching for therapies for anxiety. U may wanna search on The Linden method. It hasn't worked for me, but to be honest, I didn;t gived it so much a serious try.
> 
> But i rememebered it's all about imagining it moving and it will happen. Good luck. Also torrents are your best friends if u wanna search the method, not just google.


Cool. Cheers. I will look into that. I am willing to give anything a try even if it seems a bit odd. This does seem a bit odd but I've watched enough Derren Brown to know that the mind is odd anyway. lol


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## Manoj g

thank u for posting the video,i dint know that social anxiety is type of disorder.seeing the video i seem to be getting confidence about over coming my social anxiety problem.thank u for creating such a site.


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## quietriverrunsdeep

Thank you so much for the video. I think this is the only documentary I've seen for Social Anxiety Disorder; sad really since it's the third most common disorder. Did anyone notice on the first part it showed a computer programmer who made a site called Social Anxiety Support? Was it this same site or was it just a coincidence that they have the same name?


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## Jessy

I really liked hearing the psychologist talk about how she has SA. I really want to become a psychologist myself and I was worried that if i got help for SA, that would mean admitting to having a mental disorder and then I wouldn't be able to be a psychologist.


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## Lifetimer

ChrisA said:


> I clicked on this post by mistake...was trying to click on the haircut thread. Arg. I cant believe this is still out there. This was a long time ago. I participated in it. Feel like I just got punched in the stomach...lots of old feelings. Things are better now though. Made a lot of progress over the SA.


ChrisA,

Are you the "Chris" mentioned in part 1 of the video? If so, is this website the social anxiety website that you started (as the video mentioned)?

Lifetimer


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## ChrisA

Hi LifeTimer,
Yeah, thats me. Feels like it was a different person though. Yes. This is the site. Its been a long time since Ive actively participated though. It kind of got overwhelming at a point.
Hope all is going well.
Chris


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## meepie

Thanks for posting this, it really had a emotional effect on me, because I could understand the pain of every person in the video. Exactly how I felt in middle school when the little girl didn't respond to her teachers. I thought I was the only one in school, like this too. I wish I found this website and these videos back in middle school, because the amount of pain it has caused me in grade school has still not left me. Those women who had social anxiety in the video and had husbands/boyfriends are lucky to have someone understand them for who tehy are.

When the psychologist said the median age of onset was "13 and there were a lot of shy anxious socially inhibited children who are labled as "model students" by their teachers", I could totally relate to that.


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## meepie

I can also relate to the part where it says that people who migrate from a new country can have anxiety triggered by moving to a new environment. I know when I lived in India and went to school there I was not that worried but I was a shy kid, but when I came over here and over my course of elementary schools saw how different I felt, I just became more and more anxious.


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## Lifetimer

In part 2 of the video the guy said "We certainly know that it runs in families, so that people with first degree relatives - parents, as an example - that have the illness are more likely to get it than other people." Also, a mention was made in part 3 by ChrisA's mother ("ChrisA" is the SAS member here that was in the video) about several of their relatives having social anxiety. The guy in part 2 and Chris' mother in part 3 were trying to make the point that social anxiety is the result of genetics/heredity. Yes, I do agree with them that SA can be passed down from one generation to another, but I do not agree that the reason is because of "genetics". Now, is there a chance that genetics can be responsible for SA in _some_ people? I suppose its a _possibility_, but I don't think genetics is responsible nearly as much as many people think.

I think in most cases of SA being passed down through families is basically because of learned behavior. In these families, from the time the children are born, they "learn" how to act & feel from their parents and other relatives. In the majority of cases, children basically have SA & toxic shame projected onto them. As anyone knows that has read my main thread (the link at the bottom of this post) I totally believe most cases of SA is the result of toxic shame. And I think it often becomes a "shame cycle" in families. There is a member here by the username of "lazy" who made a post in another thread concerning this toxic shame cycle. He made a very good point in his post when he said:

_"Shame-infected Parents infect their own children, then their children grow up to become also shame-infected parents. This then creates the *toxic shame cycle*. It is also not limited within the family. There is an element of the self-fulfilling prophecy at work here when shame-based people interact with their peers."_

Toxic shame is like an infection; it can spread through an entire family unit - not only parent & child, but aunts, uncles, cousins ... all relatives can spread it around each other (and for generations).

There are certainly other ways to get toxic shame other than through family members, but obviously the family is the biggest source of those that acquire toxic shame (though, as I said, it's not the only way to get it).

Lifetimer


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## Lifetimer

In the video (part 2) it blamed "chemical imbalances" in the brain as the reason for some people's social anxiety. I - and many others as well - don't believe chemical imbalances cause SA. Instead, we believe it is the other way around. It is actually the *SA* that causes the chemical imbalances. Healing your toxic shame ... leads to curing your SA ... which leads to eliminating the "chemical imbalance". I just wanted to give my thought on that issue.

Also in part 2 it showed them waving in front of the faces of various infants that of "unfamiliar stimuli". Basically, they were waving small colorful toys hanging from strings in front of the infants. Some infants reacted adversely to the "unfamiliar stimuli" and the guy in the video claimed it was proof that the infants were born with a chemical imbalance that would affect them "for the rest of their lives". But you know what? We are not all exactly the same and some people may be a little more sensitive than others - which of course includes infants. Just because some infants have a negative reaction to unfamilar things being waved in front of their face doesn't mean they have a chemical imbalance that dooms them for the rest of their life. As someone pointed out in my main thread, if someone is "hyper-sensitivitive" then it can make it a bit easier for such a person to acquire toxic shame than the average person.

However, what is just as important - possibly even *more* important - to realize is what I pointed out in my post above (post #75). In that post I talked about how, from basically the moment they were born, many children learn to have anxiety and fear from those around them - mainly their dysfunctional family. It could be that some - maybe even many - of the children in the study basically were infected with anxiety from their family. For all we know, many children in the study may very well had families that lived daily with anxiety and tension. In essence, it could be that all that was available for the infants to learn from was toxic shame. If, from the moment you were born, you were exposed to anxiety, fear, and other negative traits, then wouldn't you be just as "jumpy" as those infants were in the video?

Lifetimer


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## Lifetimer

This is my 3rd and final review post of the video (my other 2 posts are above).

The last thing I want mention is what the psychologist said in part 2. She said: 

_"Many people have a situation in which they were humiliated, crticized, rejected, socially evaluated poorly... and they felt a loss of control - they felt embarrassed. And there was a lot of _*shame *_that they experienced in that moment. And then what happens is they become more fearful in those situations, and so more avoidance takes place or just negative perceptions of situations like this. And so they start to develop a conditioned response to their fear."_

I think that out of everything that was said in the entire 6 part video, her statement is the closest to the truth for most SA people. The key word in her statement is the word "*shame"*. Shame - specifically "toxic" shame - is, in my firm opinion, the real culprit in most cases of SA (by "most" I mean at least 51% or more). However, I do have 2 issues with her statement:

1. Her statement is very simplified and doesn't explain the entire shame process in a person (see my main thread for a better explanation of how shame affects a person). 

2. Her statement almost makes it sound as if one specific embarrassing event snowballs into social anxiety. That is very possible, but I think it happens more often by repeated embarrassing and/or negative events - through one or several sources (creating toxic shame). But even if one negative event is the starting point, once it begins snowballing, then it becomes toxic shame.

I want to sum up by saying that, though I don't think _every_ case of SA is caused by toxic shame, I do definitely believe that the majority of SA cases (meaning _at least _51% or more) are a result of toxic shame. If anyone is interested in learning more about this "soul-murdering" condition as John Bradshaw calls it and how I overcame my SA / TS, then visit my main thread.

Lifetimer


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## srknightjohn

Thanks for the video. It's very compelling and encouraging.


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## ChrisA

LifeTimer,

I agree with your belief that the main reason for SA is not genetics. I think it was easier for my Mom to blame it on genetics than consider that the way she raised me could have been partially responsible. I dont blame her and it was not beneficial to my recovery to try to figure out why this happened to me. I guess I just dont want people saying that its just genetics, so there is nothing I can do.
As far as the documentary 'blaming chemical imbalances', you may also want to consider how the documentary was made. It was sponsored by Freedom From Fear, but I believe they got the money to do it from the makers of Paxil. 
I was able to overcome SA primarily through self help books about cbt. I still had some issues, so I decided to get on Paxil and did that for one year. The medication was very helpful, but I believe that my cbt skills were necessary and enabled me to get off the meds successfully. Meds are a great thing, especially for those with more severe cases of SA. I just wish people would go to the meds as a last resort and always include cbt as part of the process.

Chris


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## GotAnxiety

I was also a quiet kid, but i was on Ritalin i never talked... i wonder if cutting out the amygdala would cure are problems lol,


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## Lifetimer

ChrisA said:


> I agree with your belief that the main reason for SA is not genetics. I think it was easier for my Mom to blame it on genetics than consider that the way she raised me could have been partially responsible. I dont blame her and it was not beneficial to my recovery to try to figure out why this happened to me.


Chris, the last sentence in your above quote is a mistake a lot of people make. Many people believe, as apparently you do, that it is "not beneficial to my recovery to try to figure out why this happened to me". Understanding how one has come to acquire SA is actually the first step to recovery. It is a crucial step. I go into great detail in some of my posts in my main thread of why it is so important (I'm trying to keep this post from being too large and that is why I won't go into a long explanation here). Having said that, I will agree it is possible to improve over one's SA without looking into the cause of it. However, that way is doing it the hard way. It can take much longer - 3, 4, or 5 years or longer - to eliminate one's SA (that is IF someone is able to eliminate it in that fashion). And sometimes, trying to do it that way doesn't eliminate it at all. Now of course I am not including medications in this discussion. Medications can quickly suppress SA but not cure it, and thus the drugs can make it appear one has had great progress over their SA when instead it has only suppressed it.

I'm certainly glad you were able to overcome your SA (I'm assuming you are completely over it). It looks to me that through sheer hard work and determination you were able to overcome it. It is my opinion that if you had a full understanding at the time of what caused it ... understood how toxic shame was involved ... did the inner work that such people as John Bradshaw, Dr. Robert Glover, and others advocate ... and then began to put into practice what you learned by interacting with others bit by bit, then I believe you could have recovered faster than you did. And you could have done it all without drugs (medication). That is my belief.



ChrisA said:


> As far as the documentary 'blaming chemical imbalances', you may also want to consider how the documentary was made. It was sponsored by Freedom From Fear, but I believe they got the money to do it from the makers of Paxil.


Yes, it does seem to me that, in the end, everything can be traced back to money. lol.



ChrisA said:


> I was able to overcome SA primarily through self help books about cbt. I still had some issues, so I decided to get on Paxil and did that for one year. The medication was very helpful, but I believe that my cbt skills were necessary and enabled me to get off the meds successfully. Meds are a great thing, especially for those with more severe cases of SA. I just wish people would go to the meds as a last resort and always include cbt as part of the process.


I have to admit that I had never tried taking medications for my SA (back when I had SA. I don't have SA anymore). But from everything I have read about SA medications, it seems the medications just suppress SA instead of curing it. I've heard some people say it just "dulls the senses". However, I HAVE tried cbt and, to be frank, it did not cure my SA. I will say that it did temporarily make me feel better. But within a short time period my SA came back as it was before. The problem with cbt is that it did not address my core problem; it only tried to work on the symptoms. That is why I only temporarily felt better from it. It wasn't until I learned about toxic shame - and then healed my toxic shame - that I cured my SA. And it didn't involve taking drugs of any kind. Instead, it was all about solving the core issue of my problem.

And so, in regards to cbt, I am not a big fan of it. I know it helps some people, but it seems that, from what I have seen with SA, that in more people than not, it either didn't help them at all or it only temporarily helped them (as it was the case for me). But I do think there is benefit with any therapy, and thus cbt has apparently helped you. And I am glad you have gotten better over SA. I just think that for most people it is best to work on the actual core issue that is causing there SA than it is to work on the symptoms (as cbt tends to focus on). But if you are able to make something work for you to help you get better, then of course that is a great thing.

Lifetimer


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## ChrisA

LifeTimer,

If you found a better, quicker way to overcome SA, thats great. I spent a few minutes looking at a couple sites about toxic shame. I dont know. To me its obvious why I have this disorder. In one of your posts you mention that recovery from toxic shame requires that you 'correct your thinking' through study and repetition. Isnt that cbt?...changing unrealistic negative thoughts into more positive realistic ones. And the last step to toxic shame recovery sounds like exposure therapy. I definately appreciate your enthusiasm. Its obvious you have put a lot of research into this. When I have some more time I will look into it some more.

Chris


----------



## Lupita

Thanks for posting this.


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## randomprecision

I've only watched parts 1 and 2 so far. Watching the little girl struggle in school and feeling her pain and remembering mine at that age :cry


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## Lifetimer

Chris, I'm sorry for my late reply, but I've been having computer issues for the last several days. Anyway, below is my reply.



ChrisA said:


> LifeTimer,
> 
> If you found a better, quicker way to overcome SA, thats great. I spent a few minutes looking at a couple sites about toxic shame. I dont know. To me its obvious why I have this disorder. In one of your posts you mention that recovery from toxic shame requires that you 'correct your thinking' through study and repetition. Isnt that cbt?...changing unrealistic negative thoughts into more positive realistic ones.


You may have to read the book(s) by John Bradshaw to fully understand all the ways toxic shame works and the various ways it can affect a person. Or, at the very least, read my thread for a decent understanding of TS (but obviously I can't cover everything in one thread that a book can).

You are correct when you alluded to cbt being about changing unrealistic negative thoughts into more positive realistic ones. In my opinion, doing that is not the best way to go about it. As a member here named "Rainwilds" once posted in regards to cbt:

_It is no good just to sit there in a conversation and say 'wait hold on a minute, I just need to defeat this negative thought', or, 'I just need to think a different thought.' Your thoughts must come and go naturally, unperturbed through acceptance without you having to challenge (fight) yourself. Challenging your thoughts will only keep focused on yourself, inward, going round-and-round like in a hamster's wheel. Your thoughts need to flow naturally._

Thus, when I said we need to "correct our thinking", I wasn't necessarily talking about changing negative thoughts into postive thoughts (of which is the thing cbt tries to do). Instead, I was talking about changing the way we view ourselves and others; to have the deep down realization that, intrinsically, nobody is better or worse than anyone else. Nobody is intrinisically different than anyone else. Whether it is a movie star, a president, or a homeless person living on the streets... we are all equally human, and nobody is better or more deserving than another. And, one has to understand that he/she is not a "bad" or worthless or defective person.

Another problem with cbt is that it focuses on the symptoms, rather than the actual core issue that caused one's SA in the first place. Because, how can you change your behavior if you don't know what is causing it? It is like cutting off diseased leaves off a plant without attacking the disease at its roots. 
For a person to begin to heal their toxic shame (and its symptom of SA) you need to know how and why you are shameful. This is the key! Why? Because in knowing where shame was projected onto you in your past, whether it was projected knowingly or not, is what will lead you towards acceptance of who you are now, warts-and-all. This will help lead you to the autonomous belief that you, at your core, are not defective and inferior. And of course by adding in the help of those such as John Bradshaw and Dr. Glover, you can heal your toxic shame and SA.



ChrisA said:


> And the last step to toxic shame recovery sounds like exposure therapy. I definately appreciate your enthusiasm. Its obvious you have put a lot of research into this.


Yes, my last step - that I talk about in my main thread - does sound a bit like exposure therapy. However, what I talk about in my thread is to first do *a lot *of 'inner work' instead of just jumping in and doing "exposure" type stuff ("exposure stuff" meaning that of socializing and interacting with others). When one corrects his or her thinking - in that nobody is better than anyone else, etc. - then it will be easier to go out and interact with others. It will obviously be a _gradual_ process and this is why I say a person needs to interact with others a little at a time (but remember to do this after you've do your inner work that I talked about earlier in this post). This interacting you do with other people is what will help you gain what Bradshaw calls "the mirroring eyes" of others. You will see through their mirroring eyes that you are a good and worthy person ... just as anyone else is. Obviously you cannot expect to get the right mirroring eyes from those that brought shame upon you. The mirroring eyes need to come from _non_-shaming people.

As I said before, it is not impossible for anyone to gain benefit from cbt or any other therapy. Every therapy manages to benefit a certain number of people. I'm just saying I believe that the way John Bradshaw and similar experts advocate is the best and most natural way to heal one's toxic shame (and it's accompanying symptoms such as SA). I've done it and I know others can too.

Lifetimer


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## Lifetimer

In my above post I talked about the differences between cbt therapy vs healing one's toxic shame (and thus curing one's SA). However, I somehow forgot to include one of the important differences. As I previously said, cbt is more about trying to squash negative thoughts and turn them into positive thoughts. It (cbt) also tends to focus on the symptoms rather than the actual core problem. But when you heal your toxic shame, your thoughts flow more naturally and it doesn't involve efforts to stop down to squash a negative thought. Also, healing your TS is about getting to the actual root of the problem instead of focusing on the symptoms (cbt tends focus on the symptoms). But one big difference that I forgot to include in my previous post is the aspect of "hiding". Social Anxiety is largely about hiding. The below paragraph - in italics - is an excerpt from a post I've made on my main thread about the aspect of fear & hiding:

(A person with toxic shame & SA)... _hides their emotions ... their thoughts ... their feelings ... they try to hide their humanity - in which they try to hide that they are sexual, that they have emotions, that they have bodily functions, that they are imperfect beings. They hide their perceived imperfections because they fear their "flaws" (and thus their perceived unworthiness as a person) will be exposed. And, so, those with this crippling condition tend to live in secretiveness. So, yes, people with SA live with fear. Again, it is our toxic shame that causes us to hide and live in fear. When we hide from something, it is because we have fear. And obviously with all the hiding that we (SA'ers) do, it is just a natural reaction that we end up living in fear. And this is what leads to our SA - which, in reality, SA is really just a symptom (though a big symptom) and toxic shame is the actual problem._

Experts on toxic shame make clear the importance of understanding how one came to acquire the condition that they have ... of how and why they (the individual) got the condition and where it came from. And what experts such as John Bradshaw, Alice Miller, etc, also make clear is that toxic shame causes a person to go into hiding, as I talked about in the above paragraph. They talk about how we need to know that we are in hiding and of course the importance of coming out hiding. All of these things are things that cbt does not specifically address.

Now, I do recognize that cbt does include doing action things such as practicing interacting with others in some manner, and that, in theory, this can be thought of by some as an action of "coming out of hiding". However, the difference is, since cbt doesn't work on the core issue of a person - or in many cases, doesn't even know what the core issue is in that person - it is difficult for the person to realize that a big problem they have is that they are in hiding (and also they don't know specifically *why* they are in hiding). This is why many people are not helped by just going out and taking a lot of action (and/or by simply trying to squash negative thoughts) without understanding what their true problem is and that they need to stop hiding & come out to let others see them for who they truly are - a perfectly imperfect person, just like anyone else is. Healing one's toxic shame cures the problem at its core, and allows the individual's thinking to flow freely & naturally... in regards to the way the individual sees himself/herself and in how he/she views others as well.

I know this has been another long post that I've made, but I cannot explain everything in the proper way by writing just a few sentences. Anyway, I just wanted to point out the importance of coming out of hiding by working to heal one's toxic shame (which will lead to curing one's SA for those with TS). I hope I've explained it well enough.

Lifetimer


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## F1X3R

> However, the difference is, since cbt doesn't work on *the core issue of a person - or in many cases, doesn't even know what the core issue is in that person - it is difficult for the person to realize that a big problem they have is that they are in hiding (and also they don't know specifically why they are in hiding). *This is why many people are not helped by just going out and taking a lot of action (and/or by simply trying to squash negative thoughts), without understanding what their true problem is and that they need to stop hiding & come out to let others see them for who they truly are - *a perfectly imperfect person, just like anyone else is.* Healing one's toxic shame cures the problem at its core, and allows the individual's thinking to flow freely & naturally, in regards to the way the individual sees himself/herself and in how he/she views others as well.


Person with SA: "I feel I can't make mistakes, that others won't forgive me for them, even if I acknowledge I was wrong. Why do I feel this? Did I learn it from my parents, or friends, or bullies? Maybe I did, maybe I didn't, but it's not like I'm telling myself that I can't screw up because I'll disappoint my parents."

Not consciously. Our unconscious negative beliefs have a strangle hold on us. It's the feeling we all know. Somewhere along thing line, whether we were mostly influenced, or just mistaken, we started telling ourselves that we can't afford to make mistakes. *No one made us stand at a chalk board and write 100 times over, "I can't afford to make mistakes because others won't forgive me." No, we don't remember that well when we started to learn this belief. But we did and that's where our SA started, and continued because we didn't face the belief, instead believing it so deeply that it became a feeling.*

See: people pleasers, perfectionists, controlling parents, bullying, toxic shame


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## mrXandersson

randomprecision said:


> I've only watched parts 1 and 2 so far. Watching the little girl struggle in school and feeling her pain and remembering mine at that age :cry


Indeed. But what's most inspiring is that the same child starts to talk in class after taking medication, she starts exploring stuff and learning new things.

If I had any doubt about actual progress of people using the treatment - this little girl erased it. Both adults and children can lie to others, but to lie to yourself - that's more of an adult trait.


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## SA Rich

Wow--thanks for posting this!! I'm not sure my family understands what I feel sometimes--this will help!


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## randomprecision

mrXandersson said:


> Indeed. But what's most inspiring is that the same child starts to talk in class after taking medication, she starts exploring stuff and learning new things.
> 
> If I had any doubt about actual progress of people using the treatment - this little girl erased it. Both adults and children can lie to others, but to lie to yourself - that's more of an adult trait.


Agreed. When i finally got around to watching the rest of the series i was astounded by the turnaround. 
My treatment (in the late 70s) consisted of the child therapist telling my parents to get me out out more. No meds, no training. It was nice getting to go swimming, skating, etc....but it changed nothing.


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## bottleofblues

Good doco but full of all the usual cliches on what to do about it, cliches that haven't helped me


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## CityLights89

I shed some tears during a part of this. It made me feel sad for some reason, probably because I could totally relate to their feelings, especially the speaking lady.


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## anotherusername

I apologize if that was posted earlier, but here you can see this great documentary without splits and in better quality: 




Cheers!


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## tanya elizabeth

I liked the documentary, I think it would be a great tool in explaining SA to friends/family who don't understand. 

It also makes me feel lucky that I grew up in a time where the disease was recognised and I was able to get a diganosis quickly.


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## Silverella

The chemical overreaction to novelty element was very interesting to me. I can now see that SA might be hereditary for me whereas before I couldn't see it in either of my parents...but my Mum definitely likes to stay in her comfort zone.


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## rawrguy

Amazing post man. Life-changing stuff!


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## MGPElectricGuitar

Thanks for posting the video, might be some interesting stuff in there % could really help out


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## eduvangogh

tnx for sharing


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## alissaxvanity

I was planning to watch this for a while, and for some reason didn't. Now I am, and I just started. For some reason I can't help but have tears starting in my eyes, and it hasn't even gotten past the basics :/


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## GhstRider

What I've been learning is that people with SA have an involuntary response to being out in public or around people where they basically go into a "flight or fight" response and are extremely uncomfortable and nervous. 

The beginning of the video described me exactly: "the quiet kid in class", "the coworker that never talks in meetings". Although this is me exactly, it's not because I am anxious or yet even that shy. It's because I seem to have trouble knowing what kinds of questions to ask or even knowing what to say. And this typically always seems to be the case with me. If I go to a social gathering, I'm always quiet because I am just literally lost for words and cannot think of a darn thing to say. Nor can I think quickly enough most of the time.

So this leads me to developing shy behavior such as lack of eye contact. Some people think that a person is quiet and doesn't talk a lot because they are shy, but in reality for people like me, I am shy because I am not good at being a socially interactive person. However, if I am given something to read from or I know exactly what it is I am going to say and am very knowledgable about what I am going to say, then I only have mild anxiety about getting up in front of a group of 20 or more people and talking and have no problem doing it. 

I am a terribly shy person, but my shyness is the result of not being good at socially interacting, rather than not being good at socially interacting because I'm shy. People don't realize this other dimension exist. I just have a slow brain when it comes to thinking of creative questions and things to say in social settings, so I end up always just sitting and listening and not saying anything. At that point, I'm perfectly aware that I'm making others in the room uncomfortable or they are noticing my quietness, which in turn then triggers my mild anxiety or shyness.


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## Frozen In a StarryVoid

ive seen this


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## bluebell2012

*thanks for sharing*

I am new here and really like the vedio. I am a professor at a university and have suffered from SA for quite a while. However, I had denied my SA problem until very recently when I realized that I need to come out the shell and address the problem, because I want to enjoy life and the problem does not just disappear by being ignored. Thnaks for sharing


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## MikeINvalid

Thank you for posting this.

It's amazing how much more help there seems to be now (mostly due to the Internet) than when I was growing up.

I'm glad there is more understanding now.


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## Motherof31977

Thank you for posting. After watching this, I hope and pray that my children don't take this after me. I just hope they're painfully shy without the SA. I'll be observing them more carefully now to get them help if needed. I'm also glad to see that there is hope for us all.


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## Charlessnow

Good video but I only got 10 minutes part 1 maybe. How do I watch the rest?


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## Drew

Charlessnow said:


> Good video but I only got 10 minutes part 1 maybe. How do I watch the rest?


I've updated the first post with links to all six parts! 

1) 



2) 



3) 



4) 



5) 



6)


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## theprocrastinator

winky said:


> I didn't know there was a name for how I am. I didn't know that other people felt like this; I felt like I was alone, and I know now that I am not.


Exactly what I was thinking! I wanted to talk to my mom about this, but like you, I didn't want her to feel sorry for me either or even feel ashamed of me. I never bring friends home but I make up little excuses, and we never dwell on that topic. She thinks I'm just very shy but I've always felt that it was more than that, but I didn't know what. I get very depressed in school because I am not able to deal with new social situations and I feel like I can just hear people criticizing me though they're not, and so on. It's a terrible feeling, but what is also terrible was that I had to lie to everyone to hide the fact that I have SA.

Anyways, wow.. SAS forum is awesome


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## Piscesfish202

I, feel, that I connect with these people in the video but I don't know the extent to which I want to accept it... I feel disconnected with everyone in my life. I'm just starting to think about how i can change myself and how I will change myself! Who wants to live like they're dying? we all wanna live life worth living!


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## kittykat44

luctus said:


> And yet, whenever my therapist brought it up I was so defensive and hostile to the idea.


:yes This. I always knew in the back of my mind I had social anxiety but when a therapist (after several sessions) asked me if I was shy, I became really upset (but tried not to show it). Now, when people have accused me of not having confidence or self esteem, I get so defensive! Not a good way to be - it's comforting knowing that I'm not a weirdo though.


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## Lorensoth

Recently joined and was happy to see this video, it not only explained exactly how I feel at times, but also gave me something to show others about my condition.

Also found a video that is the entire documentary in one video, I can't be sure how long it will be around but I figured I'd post it here for others to watch.


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## biffyclyroluver

Wow....this is amazing thank you for posting this. Its so sad, its made me cry. I hope I never get that bad....


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## Drinknaaron

Absolutely fantastic. Except I cope with drinking.


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## A Void Ant

Thank you for posting this. I watched it last night before bed. It was very emotional for me.


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## Vega79

Thanks so much for posting this. I found it very emotional how so much of what these people experience is EXACTLY like what I've experienced.


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## iluvpurpleandpugs

I loved this video. I could relate to everyone in some way, and it made me feel better. Heck, it reminded me that some other people have it way worse than I do.


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## LittleGloves

Thank you sir for your posts, if only I could remember it all the time when I keep thinking it over and over.


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## straightarrows

Drew said:


> I've updated the first post with links to all six parts!
> 
> 1)
> 
> 
> 
> 2)
> 
> 
> 
> 3)
> 
> 
> 
> 4)
> 
> 
> 
> 5)
> 
> 
> 
> 6)


http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...ality-full-social-anxiety-documentary-173082/


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## Drew

straightarrows said:


> http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...ality-full-social-anxiety-documentary-173082/


Do you know if this person got permission to upload the high quality version of the documentary?

Thanks!


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## straightarrows

Drew said:


> Do you know if this person got permission to upload the high quality version of the documentary?
> 
> Thanks!


of course I don't!!! but who cares!! I mean he's not making money from up-loading this!! he or she is doing us a favor  :clap

===========
BTW, who produced this Doc?? don't remember seeing the logo of that TV ch before?!


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## psychstudent

*Social Phobia and Avoidant Personality Disorder*

Hi, I am a high school student conducting a research project about the similarities between social phobia and avoidant personality disorder for my Independent Research G/T class. It would be a huge help if you could complete this form. All answers are completely anonymous.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/viewform?formkey=dEhydjhtWHJhdGR4Q1FYOHdqV3gzWUE6MQ


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## ga32122

OMG 'm so happy I found this forum! All my life I thought there was something wrong with me. My dad even took me to a shrink. My parents always made me feel as if I were some kind of weirdo. They are very social and grew up with tons of friends and just never understood why I did not have friends. This forum literally makes me want to cry tears of joy. Just knowing I'm not alone or weird makes me feel so much better about my situation. I don't want to be like this forever but in the meantime I'm glad I found this support group. I'm showing my fiancee this video as soon as he gets off work. Hopefully he'll be able to understand me a little better.....


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## name

thanks for posting.


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## HarryStanluv25

It's always reassuring to see others going through what you are. It gives me hope perhaps one day I will get over SA. But wow... these people, they were me. Insane. I wish my family would see this just so they can try to understand what I'm really going through but I know they won't. :/ I just wish they were more concerned about SA and didn't treat it like a cold, something that will go away in a week.

Thanks for uploading though. It was great for me to see at least.


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## MartyY2K

Boy can I relate to the woman dreading going to the hair salon. As a guy, I always dread going to the barber and getting my hair cut. I absolutely hate it! I need to learn how to cut my own hair.


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## superhero87

started a video blog since my full recovery, check it out I am not a professional, but have overcome my social anxiety/depression, you may find my videos of use.


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## Jessicahh

*Oh my godness*

I really just broke out in tears the hole time i watched this.


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## TrueAstralKnight

I'm confused about my own level of SA. I took the test on this website and got a 39 for fear and a 57 for Avoidance; 96 total which is classified as Severe. 

When I watch these clips, I realize maybe I'm just immensely shy when they bring up the two types in the first video. I can deal with people for the most part, but given the option, I tend to avoid them out of fear of rejection.


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## saltyleaf

"it's not like i go around and tell everybody that oh i have this problem with anxiety, i dont do that."
>>HELL NO, i dont either. it's worse when they pity you which they would after you tell them.


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## FunkMonk

Watching Now.


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## Wiscansin

added to my "watch later" thanks


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## Emerald3

Just watched it, and I'm glad I did! I wish I'd been diagnosed when I was younger like Kayla. Because I don't think I was selective mute but I was quite similar all the ways through my school years. EVERY school report; she was too quiet, she needs to participate more in class, she's very hardworking (i.e quiet/gets on with work) I hated to be asked a question in class or asked to give a presentation, or even speak to the teacher whilst class was in session. Therefore I never asked for help, and I didn't always understand everything. So my grades were average.


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## godhelpme2

this documentary actually gives me hope. c:


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## Equimanthorn

Just watched it too. Some very powerful moments where it was nice to hear other people talking about the same way I've felt before. It's funny though, I've been anti-medication for so long, and here's yet another thing staring me in the face telling me I should consider trying an SSRI or something else. I just don't know. Heard too many people saying medications just cause more trouble than it was worth. And I also don't think I'm quite as bad as some of these people. My anxiety exists mostly in my head. I CAN go out and I CAN appear mostly normal. If I tell myself that I have to get up and go get groceries in the morning, I can. I don't start shaking on the drive to the store or anything. But I do experience feeling like everyone is looking at me or worrying that I'm gonna do something stupid in public. Oh well, guess I have some thinking to do.


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## ArcherZG

Thanks for posting this, was moving.


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## low

bunnie said:


> I remember watching this before and I watched it again. Thanks for posting; it made me feel better seeing actual people who suffer from this.


I was going to write the same thing. It does help to simply relate to people. Know that you aren't alone...even if you are 'alone' (if that made sense >_<) Even if you pick up nothing new.

It's a good film anyway. I remember feeling so sorry for that woman.


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## Jklivin

wow - I just want to shout out to the world I have SA!


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## Openyoureyes

Thanks for posting! Great I have something to do now


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## fcjf99

this is a nice video i like it thank for posting it.


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## mike91

Wow i have been wondering why i hated school so much i think i had sa as a kid i had more days off school then i went 
now im washing dishes for a job and i have had 5 days sick off so idk why i hated school i guess at work im on my own world


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## Livingbeing

:clap Thnks 4 the upload :clap


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## SHYness uh

Watched this the other day, it was good.


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## Charmander

That was the video I stumbled across one day this year that made me realise that I actually had a disorder and wasn't just naturally weird.


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## minddrips

LOL i've watched this before><


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## HelloCleo

Thanks for posting.


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## LJMC

*A2X*

I agree, I had the same thing happen to me. They took my money, I returned the product unopened, told me I could not return product but have kept my money. THEY ARE CHARLATANS AND THIEVES>


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## Unkn0wn Pleasures

fredbloggs02 said:


> The outside of the outsiders.. My family have that chemical imbalance though noone openly talks about it unless I ask. One of my uncles killed himself because of it and my mother used to have visions of these intangible things. Doesn't it feel slightly I don't know, the wrong point of view to be hearing someone describe themselves this way? I don't feel it possible to grasp the world as they do, to say without outright certainty this is the way I go with the outsider inside me. *Something tells me the video is everything I would say if I were an actor playing the part of a socially anxious person but untrue somewhere*. Impersonal, disassociated. I don't think living yourself is something turned on at a prompt, it's impossible yet, they have that assurance they do the prompt honor. I'd be careful watching this, it misses something and it seems almost too useful, too understanding, too empathetic.


Yeah I thought it sort of seemed that way too. I assume it's because its aimed at non-socially anxious people. Plus the interviewees are probably guided as to what they say and how they say it.

Still, it was pretty interesting. Thanks for posting.


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## littler0se

theprocrastinator said:


> Exactly what I was thinking! I wanted to talk to my mom about this, but like you, I didn't want her to feel sorry for me either or even feel ashamed of me. I never bring friends home but I make up little excuses, and we never dwell on that topic. She thinks I'm just very shy but I've always felt that it was more than that, but I didn't know what. I get very depressed in school because I am not able to deal with new social situations and I feel like I can just hear people criticizing me though they're not, and so on. It's a terrible feeling, but what is also terrible was that I had to lie to everyone to hide the fact that I have SA.
> 
> Anyways, wow.. SAS forum is awesome


perfect description of my life/what i've been feeling :yes


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## mktaphr

I recently read a book that helped me a lot with my depression. I think the main point of it was really helpful. That the sufferer should first and foremost seek help and then take an active approach to make sure that they are healing along with finding a partner to help them on their journey. Also, it kind of opened my eyes to the different foods that can really worsen people's depression because of the different chemicals in the foods and how they can affect you. I know it doesn't seem like it but what I've discovered is that the little things all add up and can have a big impact on the way you feel. Feel better! The name of the book was 'you can cure your depression' by the way.


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## FRWL

xTKsaucex said:


> Its a 6 part film, should auto play them all. Hope this helps in some way or another...
> 
> Links to all six parts in case the auto play doesn't work:
> 1)
> 
> 
> 
> 2)
> 
> 
> 
> 3)
> 
> 
> 
> 4)
> 
> 
> 
> 5)
> 
> 
> 
> 6)


Here is the same film in much better quality:


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## Justme111

Thanks..Im going to have a look at these. Sounds like they could be helpful.


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## achangingwind

Great video, I found it very interesting and it was so comforting to hear things that I thought were just me.

When I was five I stopped speaking at school. My teacher said I was being very naughty and would pull me to the front of the classroom and make everyone look at me. The other children would laugh. I used to keep my hair long and hide behind it as a young child, I would rock myself when everyone stared at me and the teacher was yelling asking if I was stupid. That was way back in 1997 but it feels just like yesterday and the emotions are so strong sometimes.


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## beothuck1

I watched this and took a lot from it. I can definitely relate to some of the things mentioned in the video on a really close level. Thanks for sharing!


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## No Matter What

*Thank You!*



wheelbarrow said:


> the documentary is a sob story. it tells the viewer to feel sorry for themselves and doesn't really punish them as it should. the best documentary is one that doesn't make excuses for its sufferers and doesn't feed into their self-pity. We need to experience discomfort, pain and humiliation, not fake acceptance, if we're to improve lives.


Unfortunately, most humans are brainwashed into thinking that other humans feeling like them showed in a "horror story " type way makes their story so true and the audience identifies, now hey are feeling better about themselves that somebody else is suffering, and they get a temporary relief from theirs because they feel that they are not alone, and now they have concrete proof to show to their friends and family to prove that it is a condition that they have. Whereas this is just another label people willingly take upon themselves so that they can be categorized into a certain group and just accept what it is told to them and how they can be " corrected" whereas there is NOTHING WRONG about them to be begin with. They are just different, and they don' t accept that, they are different, and nobody accepts them as they are because of that. They don't have to fit in and defend, there is nothing to defend. I find different beautiful.


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## crs9683

SA is not a disease. It's all in the head.


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## APP Adrian

*Thanks for sharing*

thanks for the video :idea


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## Gregory House

Great input and helpfull video I've found out.

Nice work done. Thank you.


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## Vespera

Thank you so much for the videos.. What they talk about is 100% accurate, im kinda shocked lol..


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## Vespera

Charmander said:


> That was the video I stumbled across one day this year that made me realise that I actually had a disorder and wasn't just naturally weird.


Rofl yea, I thought I was just a weird person my entire life, with some panic attacks here and there, but I never could figure out exactly what was wrong with me, I know now its a disorder, wow a relief, holy crap. And im guessing that my parents knew this, but never wanted to tell me.


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## Cylon

Having severe social fobia for almost 10 years now, I feel so sorry for the little girl. Such a young age and already experiencing all these crazy feelings  Makes me sad.


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## DreamerInSlumberland

I've seen this video a few times. I don't necessarily hate it, but I felt like it functions to make non-SA sufferers feel sorry for us even more. I thought it was screaming "self-pity" and "self-indulgence," however, I can't deny it can be educational to these non-SA sufferers as well. But for someone who's gotten past the self-indulgent phase, it disappointed me.


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## loneranger

crs9683 said:


> SA is not a disease. It's all in the head.


Do you have SAD then?


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## loneranger

I watched this full video and can relate to it easily.


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## laurentehstrange

Really great documentary. I can relate to some of the feelings people experience. 

The little girl with the selective mutism was adorable! I'm glad to see that she has at least one friend at school, although when I was watching it I was expecting to see some snot-nosed brat bullying her. It's nice to see she has family and friends supporting her.


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## tryingbutfailing

I watched this video a year ago and thought it was such an awesome thing that someone made a documentary to educate people about SA. Unfortunately, some people just don't want to/don't have the capacity to understand anything that affects the human condition in negative way.


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## ineverwipe

This is amazing! Big thank you for this


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## Funnybutsad

Thanks for posting. Nice program. I could have used this program in 1976 when I first suffered my first panic attack at age eight. It took me over 27 years to finally get diagnosed and treated. At 35 years old, I was having a nervous breakdown and had strong suicidal thoughts when my wife insisted that we go together to speak with a psychologist, which led to getting help from a doctor.


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## caffeinefiend

This is so incredibly helpful.


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## glenduval

this video is helping me identify the SA . I can relate my feelings for them too 
now really looking forward for the solution , making realistic thinking is helping 
and maybe I try to enjoy the feeling of SA . I try to love this feeling. not to fight it. 
some people told me this should be helpfull .


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## TheSilentWhovian

I knew exactly what that little girl was going through. I didn't have SA at that age; think I was just shy, then as I got older it got worse and worse until I started secondary/high school. I spoke less and less, and would only say one or two words if I absolutely had to, but even those few words were so difficult to say. My throat would close, my mouth go dry, I'd have to swallow after every word... I only spoke when I thought I'd get a punishment either directly or indirectly from not talking: I didn't want the attention. At home I was completely different, like the girl in this video. 

Thanks for posting these. Shows me that I am not alone and that there is hope to improve as well as lead a normal or more normal life - with friends and even possibly get a boyfriend/husband.


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## ShyFlora

xTKsaucex said:


> Its a 6 part film, should auto play them all. Hope this helps in some way or another...
> 
> Links to all six parts in case the auto play doesn't work:
> 1)
> 
> 
> 
> 2)
> 
> 
> 
> 3)
> 
> 
> 
> 4)
> 
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thanks for posting


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## Butters Stotch

TheSilentWhovian said:


> Thanks for posting these. Shows me that I am not alone and that there is hope to improve as well as lead a normal or more normal life - with friends and even possibly get a boyfriend/husband.


Don't you sometimes feel that there are so many people having this problem you are not really alone. For instance the level of our social anxiety varies but we can still relate to each other. You could easily make a friend in this forum and once you meet him for real you can be yourself because he won't judge you.


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## visualkeirockstar

Sucks how i never had help when i was younger. Instead i get yelled at and look down at.


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## BleuSphere

I stumbled across this video a while ago on youtube(the vid I saw was all in one part). I have to say I was shocked to find out that there was a thing call 'selective mutism' because that's what I had to deal with from the time I was 3 years old to when I was 19 or 20 years old. I knew exactly how that little girl felt.


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## Corvus Cowl

*tears*

Thanks for posting the documentary. Wish I watched this sooner.


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## misspeachy

Thanks for this, I watched it ages ago.


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## CharlieHorse

Thank you so much for this.


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## buttonmash

Im new here but how good is the documentary? Does it just explore people who suffer from SA or does it also provide some advice?


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## mr hoang

buttonmash said:


> Im new here but how good is the documentary? Does it just explore people who suffer from SA or does it also provide some advice?


Watch and find out. I haven't seen it yet but will later tonight.


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## mr hoang

buttonmash said:


> Im new here but how good is the documentary? Does it just explore people who suffer from SA or does it also provide some advice?


Sorry didn't mean to sound like an a-hole. Welcome to the forums.


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## reb38

video made me tearful


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## remedine724

am watching this now..


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## ZADY

Thanks for posting that. It helped.


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## dayrone150

*Cool*

Thankfully mines is not that serious:clap


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## fineline

i remember watching this. 

i cant watch it again though. reminds me too much of my issues. its way hard to watch cus i see myself in alot of those situations and having those feelings. i see myself. ughh


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## cantHelpthis

I use to be like that kid in school 
Watching this just brakes my hart.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Onder

I used to have massive social anxiety when I was younger and it all came as a result of being a victim of bullying in school.

The girls I liked didn't like me and the guys that bullied me all went out with the girls I liked.

This ended up giving me negative reference experiences growing up and believed that who I was wasn't good enough to be considered attractive.

But it wasn't until a few years ago when I realised that the only way I could overcome this is to actually go out and face my fears. Everything in your life is based on your experiences.

If you want to change it, you simply have to be willing to put yourself forwards and be willing to get rejected. Curing your social anxiety is very easy but tough at the same time because it forces you to come out of your shell. It's also a brilliant form of therapy as it makes you feel good whenever you connect with someone new.

Here's a video of me approaching a stranger in a shop in London:






Here's another one of me getting rejected just to prove that it's not a big deal. I'm still alive and well 






Keep a look out on my youtube channel and blog for future video updates. I've set myself a challenge to go out and talk to 10 new people a day for the next 6 months.

Onder


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## Sweetme




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## Epo

I watched the entire series.

I think it made me kind of reflect on my past actions, and reasonings. I felt the same way some of these people felt but still somewhat different still, I don't know but its hard to explain.


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## Metona

Thank you for posting this, that was something I needed to watch. Now I know that there is still some hope left.


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## outsideinside

I can't explain what a deep relief it is for me to hear other people explain their real, personal experience with this thing, that I have felt so alone with for so long. This is really big for me!

I only made it into part 3 so far and I had to stop and take a breather!

I called my boyfriend and told him and told him about it through my sniffles and he wants to watch it with me tonight 

that will give me enough time to try and get most the cries out and screw my head on tight, I hate falling apart.


despite the tears this has made my day!

Thank you for posting!


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## Matt19

Thanks for posting. Some of it annoyed me and brought back some really horrible memories but it was good watching it


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## brent99

This was great! Thanks for posting. I was exactly like that when I started school. Didn't say anything! My teachers thought I was deaf and sent me for hearing tests.


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## leopad

truth be told. this film brought me here. haha


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## Steppingwolf

*See Other Grown Struggling with SA*

made it easier for me to accept what I'm struggling with. I don't know any men personally who have at least admitted having SA.


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## astrac1890

I've seen this before and I'm watching it again, it just shows you that other people go though the same things as you. It makes me wonder why so many people are still so uneducated about SA when it's such a common mental illness.


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## Justlittleme

I didn't watch this till now lol. I was venting for the most time I was here. Hmmm that taught me a couple things and that video is wonderful. Maybe I can change my life.


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## Slippin Jimmy

Wait, towards the end of the first video(part one) that guy created social anxiety support as in the very same site???


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## Gus954

I saw this video like 3 years ago


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## MML12

Thank you for posting this!
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/


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## beyondhiding

Thanks for posting this! About to start watching it now (well after homework ::/ )


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## Dorey23

Thanks for posting! Really ned help to combat my SA


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## 2Milk

Yeah i remember watching this about a year ago . There's is a video that has the full documentary.


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## NorthShore

Thanks!


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## SwtSurrender

xTKsaucex said:


> Its a 6 part film, should auto play them all. Hope this helps in some way or another...
> 
> Links to all six parts in case the auto play doesn't work:
> 1)
> 
> 
> 
> 2)
> 
> 
> 
> 3)
> 
> 
> 
> 4)
> 
> 
> 
> 5)
> 
> 
> 
> 6)


Great thank you ! I'ma watch these right now mmmmmmmmmmmmm


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## SwtSurrender

xTKsaucex said:


> Its a 6 part film, should auto play them all. Hope this helps in some way or another...
> 
> Links to all six parts in case the auto play doesn't work:
> 1)
> 
> 
> 
> 2)
> 
> 
> 
> 3)
> 
> 
> 
> 4)
> 
> 
> 
> 5)
> 
> 
> 
> 6)


Never watched this but it is me 100%, dude I think you should have added this video it has all of them in one video and a little better quality 




Anyone know what happened to james? he looks sexy I wanna ....... him


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## springseternal

Excited to watch it all...seems interesting so far

________________
My latest video - I have Social Anxiety


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## Orvel

Thanks for posting this, 2 minutes in and it's already difficult for me to watch. Not sure why.


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## KmRenee

Thanks for sharing. I found it very informative


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## BIB64

MojoCrunch said:


> Thanks for posting. This vid was very informative and everything that woman described about having SA (procrastinating and prolonging things just to avoid going to work and then feeling like crap on the way to work, etc.) pretty much is the same for me. Especially when I was in college. The only time when I didn't have massive anxiety was when I was on drugs. This vid made my day.


I'm quoting Mojo here because it pretty much what I would say as it being informative and makes sense in how I feel most of the time. Thanks for posting.


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## Mk22

If seen this. it really doesn't address any useful tips on solving the problem. It is a weak sauce documentary that spends its first half defining the definition of social anxiety. its fodder


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## abnerocks

Thank you so much for this video. It's very comforting. I felt so akin to the blonde woman, who struggled through her teens but was able to really improve her disorder. Makes me feel like there's hope


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## SwtSurrender

The **** is wrong with that retarded teacher at 16:15 ??? If I was a teacher, I would know how to treat that little girl because she reminds me of how I was when I had selective mutism. God that teacher makes me so ****ing angry. **** that teacher is retarded, why is she even a teacher? ****ing *****.


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## JonnnyBerba

*How To Overcome Social Phobia The Simple Way!*


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## Kvento

These really helped. Thank you


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## SparklingWater

Def gonna give this a watch


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## conquerAnxiety

I saw this video as well. It is depressing. They should make a video of people who fully overcame their social anxiety as a follow up.

Imagine a clip on youtube about someone with severe social anxiety everything like this video you have posted up. Imagine then a few years later because of this person's commitment to getting better they overcame all of the problems from the initial video right now.

Social freedom experiments will scare you and raise your anxiety to elevated levels. If you keep going and keep doing it, you will grow through it and talking to strangers will feel like a normal experience. All off the mood orders and secondary problems associated with social anxiety will disappear.

Check out this video I found, love to hear your thoughts.


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## SwtSurrender

conquerAnxiety said:


> I saw this video as well. It is depressing. They should make a video of people who fully overcame their social anxiety as a follow up.
> 
> Imagine a clip on youtube about someone with severe social anxiety everything like this video you have posted up. Imagine then a few years later because of this person's commitment to getting better they overcame all of the problems from the initial video right now.
> 
> Social freedom experiments will scare you and raise your anxiety to elevated levels. If you keep going and keep doing it, you will grow through it and talking to strangers will feel like a normal experience. All off the mood orders and secondary problems associated with social anxiety will disappear.
> 
> Check out this video I found, love to hear your thoughts.


Man, what did I just watch? A men's conference! I enjoyed it yes, who can resist someone like Liam - he's so attractive and funny.... I have experienced alot of social freedom when I was taking prozac! Other than that, I've heard and seen social freedom from a guy named Matthew Silver. I really like it, I am like that somewhat... it's a better way to be. Yes, I watched this video bottom to top just now, while plucking my hair, owwwww. But I feel so much better that I have even though it was for men only! Love his stories, omg he's so sexy. :love

I mean, sure he has some great insights and ideas to hit on girls which I can reverse to hit on guys, like embarrassing yourself!!! But there's a difference between social anxiety and the anxiety of approaching women!!!!!!!!!!!! I bet you a few men over there in his groups have social anxiety and damn forcing them to approach women will leave them scarred if not healed. That video ain't social anxiety it's anxiety approaching women!!!!!!!!!!! Really, think before you post your approaching women videos, you know it would have been better to make your own thread and share that video hey!!!!!!!!!!! But yeah I do agree with you that overcoming social anxiety is possible! Overcoming anxiety approaching women is possible as well!!!!!!!!!!!! Liam here shows you how baby.


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## SwtSurrender

conquerAnxiety said:


> I saw this video as well. It is depressing. They should make a video of people who fully overcame their social anxiety as a follow up.
> 
> Imagine a clip on youtube about someone with severe social anxiety everything like this video you have posted up. Imagine then a few years later because of this person's commitment to getting better they overcame all of the problems from the initial video right now.
> 
> Social freedom experiments will scare you and raise your anxiety to elevated levels. If you keep going and keep doing it, you will grow through it and talking to strangers will feel like a normal experience. All off the mood orders and secondary problems associated with social anxiety will disappear.
> 
> Check out this video I found, love to hear your thoughts.


Thank you for sharing the video, I understand so much more now! Like SO much more!!!!!! Thank you x1000000000000000!!!!!!!!!!! I must be 50% male.


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## Oled

I have read a lot stories like in these videos, there are so severe conditions that after that you stop and think. You are not so bad. But still, you have only one life...crying:


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## Memories of Silence

This thread has had no replies since 2017. Does anyone still watch these videos? If not, we can remove the thread as a sticky and replace it with something else.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity

Memories of Silence said:


> This thread has had no replies since 2017. Does anyone still watch these videos? If not, we can remove the thread as a sticky and replace it with something else.


Yeah I started watching them because there was a fresh reply. I think I had also watched them years ago but only had vague memories of what was in them.


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## misanthrope2

I just watched these videos for the first time. It was reaffirming and I needed that. My SA has been rearing its head again lately and I have been at a loss as to how to deal with it. I have been looking at other diagnosis like autism and ADHD trying to make sense of why I'm still going through this despite taking medications and having done counselling. After watching, I am more sure than ever that SA is the most fitting diagnosis for me. Now I can get back to focusing my energy on trying to overcome it. I also think it would be a good series to share with loved one if they are having trouble understanding the SA struggle.


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