# Do you think your parents are ashamed of you?



## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

I'm not the success my siblings are. It's inevitable that my parents compare us,how could they not? What about your parents?


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## Slim Shady (Jun 24, 2008)

Well, as a kid I was pretty promising so they had great many dreams revolving around me. So, when SAD turned me from the prodigal son to kind of the black sheep in the family, I would think they are kind of ashamed of me.


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## low (Sep 27, 2009)

Yes, but I've always had negative responses from my parents so I detached from that at like...16.


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## VagueResemblance (Apr 17, 2010)

Yes, and it's one of the few points of agreement between us.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

Ha, probably!


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## sparkationsgirl (Oct 25, 2008)

I don't think my parents are ashamed of me. They might have been ashamed of me before, but now they realize that I have the potential to be better off than them in the near future. I just finished my university degree, and panic has started to sink in as they now realize that I can become financially independent and divorce myself from them. Nonetheless, I have more skills than them, I'm more adaptable than them, and I'm in my mid 20s, the prime of my young adult life. 

My parents are immigrants, and they make close to nothing in terms of salary. They can't speak English well, and they don't have much of a social life either. They are also getting older. So reallly, they need me more than I need them. How could they be ashamed of someone who has the potential to do better than them at this stage in life?


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

If you asked me this time last year I would have said yes - but as of now no, I dont think so!


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## foodie (Apr 27, 2010)

I would say yes an no. Yes because I know most parent want to brag about there kids and my mom probably doesnt tell her friends really anything about me. I often feel she is ashamed that im so a weirdo. And no because I know she loves me and wants the best for me and probably doesnt think about me being a weirdo. confussing.


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## CabecitaSilenciosa (Jun 8, 2010)

The thing with me is that I've never really done anything to have my parents be ashamed of me but I've never done anything to have them be proud of me either.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

No. Worried about my future, maybe, but not ashamed of who i am.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

CabecitaSilenciosa said:


> The thing with me is that I've never really done anything to have my parents be ashamed of me but I've never done anything to have them be proud of me either.


Yes thank you for saying this, I feel similarly.


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## KittyGirl (May 14, 2010)

No.
I'm still better off than both of them ever were... so I'd say I'm doing pretty well.
It was never expected of me to do anything amazing; they just wanted me to be happy. So... if anything- they might be sad that I'm not happy, but not ashamed.


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## Duke of Prunes (Jul 20, 2009)

They're not "ashamed" of me, but they would rather talk about my cousins (I'm an only child, my cousins are basically like my siblings) than me when they're on the phone to family/friends. They discuss how well my cousins are doing at university/college/work/relationships in front of me, almost as if they're purposely trying to make me feel inferior.


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

I think they're disappointed. They had big dreams for me..._I_ had big dreams for me.


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

Yeah I just think mine are more disappointed than anything. 

As a kid i showed so much promise and my folks had real high hopes for me, but ive done pretty much nothing with my life since leaving school.


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## burn the masons (Aug 27, 2010)

yes


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## Hello22 (Feb 10, 2010)

Well maybe not ashamed as i havn't done anything to make them feel this way (at least not since my teenager days)
But i sense they get annoyed at me for not being more 'normal' like others.

I remember a few months back me and my mum had an arguement, and she said "you know i'm embarrassed to have you around, you never socialise with people your age in this area", the word 'embarrassed' really upset me deep-down, but i acted like it didn't bother me.


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## SlightlyJaded (Jun 5, 2009)

the cheat said:


> I think they're disappointed. They had big dreams for me..._I_ had big dreams for me.


^
Exactly. When I was a kid, I had all kinds of dreams. I wanted to do _everything, _and my parents always told me I could. But now, because of the SA, I'm a big fat nothing while all of my siblings are very gifted and successful and living out their dreams. The other day, my Mom said, "People are always asking me what you're doing now, and I have nothing to tell them! There's nothing to say." I know she didn't mean to be cruel, but it's been echoing in my head ever since. For me, the worst part of SA is knowing that I make people look down on my whole family. It sucks.


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## OregonMommy (Mar 3, 2010)

I no longer care. I don't live life for them. And my path is mine.


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## thewall (Feb 1, 2009)

No, but I don't think they're proud of me either. I've been more successful than everyone in my immediate family and oftentimes I think they're jealous of me because of that. They make me feel guilty for achieving my goals.


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## Arkturus (Dec 10, 2006)

Maybe my dad, but I think my dad is more dissapointed than ashamed. I just didn't turn out the way he wanted. I'm definitely his least favorite child.


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

Disappointed, yes.


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## Meli24R (Dec 9, 2008)

SlightlyJaded said:


> ^
> . The other day, my Mom said, "People are always asking me what you're doing now, and I have nothing to tell them! There's nothing to say." I know she didn't mean to be cruel, but it's been echoing in my head ever since.


My mom has said this to me too. 
She's also lied to her co-workers and my relatives when they asked about me. She told them I was still in college after I dropped out (due to severe anxiety and depression)
I know that I'm a disappointment.


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## layitontheline (Aug 19, 2009)

I wouldn't say ashamed, but I'm sure they are disappointed and worried about me. My mom compares me to my sister a lot, which doesn't go over well. A 21-year-old dropout living at home vs a 25-year-old lawyer living on her own? Lovely. I feel sad that I'm not a daughter that my mom can be proud of.


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## Zeddicus (Apr 1, 2009)

OregonMommy said:


> I no longer care. I don't live life for them. And my path is mine.


My thoughts.


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

Not really, I know they are proud of me for being mature, not doing bad things, and graduating from college. I know they want me to do better for myself though in terms of getting job that is not minimum wage and they (at least mom does cause I've told her I'm lonely) want me to get a girlfriend.


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

How can anyone be ashamed of a 30 year old Son who spends half his life doing insane things and drinks too much and treats everythin like a joke?

I'm sure they're as proud as punch.


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## Leary88 (Jun 6, 2010)

CabecitaSilenciosa said:


> The thing with me is that I've never really done anything to have my parents be ashamed of me but I've never done anything to have them be proud of me either.


That REALLY resonates with me too. It would have been hard for my parents to be disappointed in me, as far as my adolescence goes I was an angel, but since then I've yet to take any steps into the "real world".


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## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

The way my mother talks, you would think my sister and I walked on water. We were the best kids ever (although I remember a time she got so angry that she yelled to my dad to come down and kill me...we both started laughing after she said that) She doesn't understand why I have a very limited social life, cause I'm so "nice" and "friendly" in her eyes.


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

sarafinanickelbocker said:


> The way my mother talks, you would think my sister and I walked on water. We were the best kids ever (although I remember a time she got so angry that she yelled to my dad to come down and kill me...we both started laughing after she said that) She doesn't understand why I have a very limited social life, cause I'm so "nice" and "friendly" in her eyes.


maybe shes just confused coz you keep changin yer avatar every 50 seconds :b


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## ktbare (Sep 13, 2009)

Nah.


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## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

Dub16 said:


> maybe shes just confused coz you keep changin yer avatar every 50 seconds :b


Yup, that *MUST* be it. :sus

;p Plbbbbb!!!


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## Resonance (Feb 11, 2010)

I honestly don't care


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## SilentLoner (Jan 30, 2006)

My mom claims to be proud of me but I can sense her frustration with my SA.


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## Elly99 (Jul 9, 2010)

Back in the day I used to care, not anymore though. I obviously love them, but at the end of the day, it's my life.


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## Toad Licker (Nov 2, 2007)

Nope.


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## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

I'm gonna go with the disappointed angle. As a kid i was brilliant and I've done nothing with my life because of anxiety. I know my parents had expectations for me that I failed to meet.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Keith said:


> I'm gonna go with the disappointed angle. As a kid i was brilliant and I've done nothing with my life because of anxiety. I know my parents had expectations for me that I failed to meet.


That's fairly accurate for me at the moment as well, they see my potential but also see anxiety & depression blocking it's way so there's disappointment there. I think it extends to my bro's as well though because none of us have done anything that would give my parents bragging rights, i.e. no college/university or impressive jobs


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## anon123 (Aug 24, 2010)

Still Waters said:


> I'm not the success my siblings are. It's inevitable that my parents compare us,how could they not? What about your parents?


yep

busted my mom talking about me to my Oldest sister


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## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

Not really. They're both borderline social failures too, so I don't think they can penalize me too much on that front.

If anything, it's my horribly negative attitude and perpetual singledom that gets my mom upset. Oh well. My life, not hers.


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## LittleOwl (Aug 17, 2010)

Single parent family here, the one that was never here I'm more ashamed of them, the one who was here does love me and has high hopes for me but sadly I know I won't be the amazing success they envision. I'll try but it's gut wrenching when they talk about all I could be in their eyes when I know it's not realistic.


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## burn the masons (Aug 27, 2010)

yes. im sure they are to an extent. now i wonder if they think im a social failure. but at the same time, they shaped who i am. when i started playing computer games 16 hours a day, they didnt care to do anything. now im down to a minimum of 2 hours a week. the way i am is based off of the life i was GIVEN


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

They better not be.

I know my mom isn't. Dad, maybe sometimes. I'm not really sure.


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## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

^Pita-I bet they're proud of your new job and you should be too!!!!


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

Whenever I hear my parents on the phone talking to others about us, my parents only mention my brother, who is the wildly successful one. All the success landed in his lap and all the **** landed in mine. They don't talk about me unless directly asked.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

Still Waters said:


> ^Pita-I bet they're proud of your new job and you should be too!!!!


Thank you, Still Waters. That is very kind.


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

They may be disappointed (for example my mom wanted to have grandkids and my dad wanted me to be rich) but they're not ashamed. I haven't done anything that bad, and they're not the sort of people who need to brag about their kids in search of social status.


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## Northern Lights (Jul 22, 2010)

Hoth said:


> They may be disappointed (for example my mom wanted to have grandkids and my dad wanted me to be rich) but they're not ashamed. I haven't done anything that bad, and they're not the sort of people who need to brag about their kids in search of social status.


Same here.


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## Cerz (Jan 18, 2010)

Very.


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## sanspants08 (Oct 21, 2008)

No, but they certainly think I'm a little crazy.


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## jessckuh (Jul 27, 2010)

Yeah, my grandma gets irritated with me a lot. She yells and just think I'm being this way on purpose sometimes


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## SADuser (Jul 9, 2009)

I think about this all the time. I'm ashamed of myself, but I don't think that makes them ashamed of me.


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## Barry Egan (Feb 27, 2005)

Secretly,I think Yes.And maybe a little disappointed in how I've regressed over the years.


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## TheDaffodil (Jun 20, 2009)

I think I've disappointed them before and I think it's taken them a long time to realize I'm just not like other people...occasionally they may need to be reminded but I don't think they're ashamed of me.


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## JackyTheMarilynette (Sep 13, 2014)

Yeah in the way I express myself (dressing up as a 50's teen and not dressing up normally) My dad is embarrassed of me and told me once he doesn't want to be seen with me dressing like that and my parents said I should only wear dresses at home and school than with my family and their friends because they don't wanna look like creeps and I'm not very successful. My dad is ashamed of me and my sister for not making it big in life but anxiety and social stuff just kill me. I feel sorry for my parents because they gots useless daughters who barely accomplish anything in their lives.


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## zonebox (Oct 22, 2012)

My mom was a house keeper, and my dad worked at the shipyard. They should not be ashamed of me, but of course they do pass judgement.


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## bottleofblues (Aug 6, 2008)

I don't think so, but they must sometimes wonder about their unconfident son that never really does anything with his life, and never seems to attract a partner.


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## bottleofblues (Aug 6, 2008)

sanspants08 said:


> No, but they certainly think I'm a little crazy.


Wearing hats like that probably doesn't help.


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## Wagnerian (Aug 5, 2014)

With regard to my parents, I don't think ashamed would be the right word, because that tends to be an emotion that they bypass altogether (unlike myself).......they can be judgemental though, albeit to a lesser extent than some people in my extended family and elsewhere, who I could give a **** about anyway.

I definitely view myself in the context of my family as just being a nuisance/ burden, even though no one will say it.....I don't contribute anything and avoid being around everyone, and am generally very negative. They're a bunch of dumb sh!ts, though.


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## slyfox (Nov 18, 2007)

I think my dad is for sure. He definitely likes pointing out my faults. One of my motivations to succeed is to prove him wrong.


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