# My cousin who molested me is coming back?



## rehemazakari (Apr 7, 2014)

I'm currently 21 and my cousin is 25. From the time I was in elementary school, til middle school, she lived in Ohio with her sister is who a year younger than me. Every time they would come and visit my cousin would molest me and have her sister play along. I remember everything in detail. She would make me do things to her and touched me back and always she would get mad if I wouldn't do what she wanted. I hadn't seen her in years, but two years ago when I came home for winter break she showed up with her new baby and the entire time I was around her I was jumpy, silent, and suddenly my already bad depression took a turn for the worst. I returned to school with my parents having had enough of me crying and talking about random **** that happened in the past. I started counting every lie I ever told, and made my roommate think I was definitely crazy. Going to counseling, I snapped out of it, but shes coming back in a while and I'm afraid. I want to tell my roommate who became a good friend what was up with me, but I have ONLY ever told my counselor, and ONE guy friend who is a marine and therefore trained to have no emotion anyway so it didn't really shake him that much. I don't know what to do. My parents and grandparents have asked me for years if someone molested me and I have always said no. Currently I live with my roommates and they find it a joke that I don't enjoy seeing another female naked or freak out when one touches me on my butt or on my boobs. Do I tell?


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## MoveAlong91 (Jan 10, 2015)

rehemazakari said:


> I'm currently 21 and my cousin is 25. From the time I was in elementary school, til middle school, she lived in Ohio with her sister is who a year younger than me. Every time they would come and visit my cousin would molest me and have her sister play along. I remember everything in detail. She would make me do things to her and touched me back and always she would get mad if I wouldn't do what she wanted. I hadn't seen her in years, but two years ago when I came home for winter break she showed up with her new baby and the entire time I was around her I was jumpy, silent, and suddenly my already bad depression took a turn for the worst. I returned to school with my parents having had enough of me crying and talking about random **** that happened in the past. I started counting every lie I ever told, and made my roommate think I was definitely crazy. Going to counseling, I snapped out of it, but shes coming back in a while and I'm afraid. I want to tell my roommate who became a good friend what was up with me, but I have ONLY ever told my counselor, and ONE guy friend who is a marine and therefore trained to have no emotion anyway so it didn't really shake him that much. I don't know what to do. My parents and grandparents have asked me for years if someone molested me and I have always said no. Currently I live with my roommates and they find it a joke that I don't enjoy seeing another female naked or freak out when one touches me on my butt or on my boobs. Do I tell?


Sadly, I've had a similar experience when I was younger, but instead it was my uncle who molested me. My mom had me at a very young age, so my uncle is only actually one year older than me, but he use to scare me with this weird mask that was hung up on my grandparents' wall. If I didn't abide by what he wanted to do, then he would say that the mask would come to get me. There were times where I would be so terrified that I'd be under the bed crying. He made me do a lot of things that I didn't want to, even though he was only a year older than me. I thought I was supposed to look up to him at that age. Strange thing is that he's gay now. But, to get to the point, I understand how you feel. It can really make you sensitive towards sexuality, so I wouldn't beat myself up about it. I had only told my ex about it and no one else knows because I don't want to bring it up and start so much drama. It's better to tell someone though, and I know your roommate will understand you, so don't hide it. You need someone to talk to about it other than your counselor, I believe, someone around your own age.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

I thought female always enjoyed touching eachother. That's has to be terrible she done that.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

That's horrible! 



rehemazakari said:


> Do I tell?


Yes, I think that would be for the best. Also, more counselling/therapy would be a good idea, if you can get it.

When you say she's coming back: Coming back where exactly? To the place you share with roommates, or your parents house?

You shouldn't have to have anything to do with her, if you don't want to. .


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

rehemazakari said:


> my parents having had enough of me crying and talking about random **** that happened in the past.
> 
> My parents and grandparents have asked me for years if someone molested me and I have always said no.


Are there reasons why you wouldn't wanna share it with your parents and grandparents? Fear of family turmoil if you fessed up about your cousin?

It's good that you have told at least a few people you can trust about it. More people you share it with, the lighter the burden it probably will be, but make sure it is people you trust and you can emotionally benefit from when you do. But since I have never gone through what you have, my advice probably won't hold too much weight.

Good luck and continue stay strong.


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## Hikikomori2014 (Sep 8, 2014)

kill the secret. Let it out.
Your family and police should know


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## ManuelVinn (Jun 14, 2012)

she have no conscious or guilt about what she did to you, what a pig, showing up like this like nothing happened.

I bet she was smiling and laughing and expecting you to do the same


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## rehemazakari (Apr 7, 2014)

She is coming back to NC from Ohio something about her daughters birthday or something. Her father, my uncle lives here already and she wants to come here


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## theinsomniac (Jan 17, 2015)

I'm a little confused why your friends would joke that you dont enjoy seeing females naked and being touched by them. Isn't it a norm that straight females don't enjoy this???? 

Anyway, I'm sorry to hear about all this. What she did is terrible and I could never understand how these molesters are so shameless to come around and show their face around you knowing what they did. It must be difficult to tell anyone but I really think you should tell your family. You don't have to suffer through this alone. They are your parents and they care about you.


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## ShadowOnTheWall (Dec 24, 2010)

Hikikomori2014 said:


> kill the secret. Let it out.
> Your family and police should know


Agreed. If you parents asked you if something happened then they are already open to the possibility. You should tell them or this will keep haunting you


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## ManuelVinn (Jun 14, 2012)

I think there is a reason for her not hve told yet. The OP´s parentes could be abusive and could be blameshifters and gaslight

People say that when abused people tell about the abuse and are not given support it feels like they are being raped or molested all over again


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## 2Milk (Oct 29, 2014)

Talk to her first before telling anyone.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

You should definitely confront your parents. If they don't already know.


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## sarahferreira (Jan 18, 2015)

I'm so sorry.. I think you should tell someone, being around her will do nothing but hurt you.


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## wrongnumber (May 24, 2009)

Since your parents have already suspected something, I think you should tell them, (if you think they'll be receptive and supportive). I also think you should avoid seeing your cousin again so as to minimise getting triggered.


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## chaosherz (May 15, 2011)

This is a really difficult situation for you. I can understand why most people say you should say something, but I can also understand why you would want to keep it a secret. You don't want to create drama/rock the boat etc. and it can be an embarrassing thing to talk about, especially with family when it is involving another family member. I'm not going to say you should do one thing or the other, I just hope you can work through this and eventually find a solution.


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## losthismarbles (Jul 5, 2014)

Wow I wouldn't be able to stand being anywhere near someone who did that to me. Why do you have to be around her? Tell your parents they seem to already be receptive to the idea if they asked you if someone did that to you.


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