# Forced into family gatherings to look "social?"



## prettystranger (Oct 7, 2014)

Has anyone had to go through this, where you were forced into family dinners, parties, etc, even though you would more or less be ignored, but you were to go to looked like you wanted to be there for the family and not raise questions as to why you did not turn up?

I mean it's not that I want to be anti-social and its not as if I hate my family members and relatives, but it just gets to me when you have to meet with these people or go to this social gatherings only to be ignored and sometimes made to feel inferior again and again.

Two incidents that stick out for me was when my mother had a couple who were her friends over for dinner. I have a little sister, who is complete opposite of me, confident, pretty, etc. 
Both of us would not really know these people that well, but they knew us from when we were kids. Both of them asked my sister loads of questions, her hobbies, whether she started driving, school, etc. Not once did they ask me anything. 
And please bare in mind that my sister was not chatting with them first, she also mostly kept to herself at the dinner table, but yet they still felt the need to converse with her more than me.

Similar thing happen again with my sister, when my aunt and uncle were over for dinner and were asking about the neknominations happening on facebook directly to her. I knew about them too, I was facebook as well, and it just got to me how they didn't at least ask me as well.


It was something, I'll admit, I liked when I was a teenager coz that was a period where I just wanted to disappear altogether since I was depressed.
But now, I feel like I should have my fair share of input on a conversation and attention if I go to these things, because otherwise I am bored senseless and feeling depressed. Especially since I am trying to overcome my anxiety and be more involved with other people's lives rather than be wrapped up in my own.


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## prettystranger (Oct 7, 2014)

*No replys?*

Seriously? I don't want to sound demanding or anything, but can one person not help me out here? :um


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## slowlyimproving (Jan 2, 2014)

Maybe they think you're not interested in talking to them? Family dynamics...so complicated. Ugh...


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## Venomwave (Sep 7, 2014)

I am sorry you are experiencing that. I experience the same thing when I sit with the family at our annual christian convention. Nobody really talks to me especially recently when they suddenly realised that I am not as outgoing as before. I am not good with children and so I find that my sisters kids tend to ignore me and that puts me off sometimes. I never like visiting family as there is always some form of awkwardness and knowing that my mother is always critical and putting me down for not talking to people even though I don't know anyone makes the gathering even more stressful to be in so I'd rather make up an excuse to not visit family.


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## peachypeach (Oct 9, 2014)

I just feel like a black sheep to be honest

What kills me most in life, is my moms judgement. I end up disliking her, because I think she dislikes me. Sickens me that they don't accept me, I get SO Damn mad these days. Its the reason I log on here.

I want to forgive her, I will even if she's most wrong.... for never getting my way.


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## greengirl (Apr 7, 2014)

All my parents' friends and relatives have small children. So every time, EVERY ****ing time, they leave their children knowing that I would take care of them. When I was a teenager I was fine with that. But now as a young adult, I tried sitting down and talking with the "adults". But it's not happening. I don't know if I'm emitting some sort of negative vibes or they just don't know how to talk to young people. Oh yeah, the only time they talk to me is when they ask me when I'd get married and have children...


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## thecrazy88 (Feb 27, 2013)

Honestly, I'm probably not going to bother going to them anymore. I always end up being bored and not really talking to anyone, there's no point in going if it's not going to be fun.


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