# Ask the below user a weird question?



## Reecedouglas1 (Oct 10, 2019)

The weirder the better



I will start



Would you rather have 4 ears or 2 noses?


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

Idk, probably the 4 ears for the surround sound

If I showed up with a truck load of girl scout cookies of questionable procurement would you still buy some from me at bargain prices?


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

Course I would, would be an honor


Would you rather have a penis transplanted on your forehead or have both arms amputated?


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Neither.

Why are you invisible?


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## Fever Dream (Aug 18, 2015)

Because I have a built in cloaking device with no off switch.

Have your toenails ever been long enough that you could use them as knifes?


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

No

Have you ever been to Massatootsus?


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

No, its on my bucket list.


If I transfer 50 bucks to your bank account, will you dance live on cam to ooh eeh ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing for me?


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

I would, although I would say a nice pull through braid would look better on sharks, bring their eyes out a bit more. Though, a reverse braid on a hammer head is ideal for that look.


Have you ever headbutted a Gorilla during a disagreement over a banana?


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

No, but I've lost my cool with a banana before

Do you think more dangerously sharp objects should be intentionally left around children to assist in natural selection?


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

Yes. 

How many chickens does it take to make chicken soup ?


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## aqwsderf (Aug 16, 2013)

Less than one full chicken

What would you do with 8 tentacles?


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

Feel stuff. 

Do you like pineapples ?


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## Fever Dream (Aug 18, 2015)

No, I prefer ananas.


What color are you planning to dye your armpit hair?


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

Anything's possible but it seems a bit starchy

Do you think people who make feather pillows have a problem with peeing themselves from all the tickling?


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

Again? Ok I will.


If the pilot and co-pilot on the plane you were traavelling both died, would you take over the controls if everyone else on board refused to ?


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## Memories of Silence (May 15, 2015)

Yes.

What type of tree was the frame of your next door neighbour's friend's parents house built from, and when did they cut it down?


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

They just texted me back, they used bricks but have a cherry tree in the garden if that will do ?


If everybody dropped down dead apart from us two, would you chase me around to have sex with you? How long would it take for you to start chasing? an hour, few minutes, immediately ?


Oh, and ladies, you can answer too if you want ha.


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## Fever Dream (Aug 18, 2015)

Nope, just the sparkly rainbow ones.


Where are you hiding your quick attack squirrels?


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

User47 said:


> Yes, but I'd try to put on your favorite rap song while I do. I'd say probably a month tops. Is that too long for you to wait bby?
> 
> Is your dad into yellow dragons?


Playing hard to get eh, be careful as I may make you wait indefinitely ha

Unfortunately my dad is no longer with us :crying:, but I never saw him with yellow dragons, danicng to dolly parton yes, but no yellow dragons.

An extra leg and foot, or arm and hand, which one would you opt for?


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## aqwsderf (Aug 16, 2013)

Fever Dream said:


> Where are you hiding your quick attack squirrels?


I wouldnt say I own them, if anything they own me.



D'avjo said:


> An extra leg and foot, or arm and hand, which one would you opt for?


Extra arm will come in handy for carrying more groceries into the house

Where did that slime come from?


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

I'd rather not say on here


If you crashed in the middle of nowhere and had no food for ages,, what part of your body would you start eating first ?


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

my charming personality

If other animals kept humans as pets, what sort of animal would you hope to be owned by?


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## Orb (Nov 5, 2012)

Only when he stuck his tongue out

If you cross-bred all the animals in the Chinese zodiac, what would you end up with?


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

Donald trump. 


Do you like to lick metal ?


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## Orb (Nov 5, 2012)

:lol

Definitely, licking liquid metal is top of the pile.

Have you ever leapfrogged over a frog?


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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

Yes, lol.

Have you ever pranked someone while they were sleeping?


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

Yep, but I think we had to buy them in Ohio when we were kids. Edited, shaving cream and the warm water trick.


Have you ever stayed the day at a place serving a buffet?


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## spitfire444 (Feb 7, 2014)

Bamboo. Next month.

Is the answer 42?


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## Fever Dream (Aug 18, 2015)

He's to busy moderating the testing forum.


What sort of hat do you sleep in?


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## Orb (Nov 5, 2012)

To scare away intruders:









How many feet have you accidentally stepped on in your entire life?


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

accidently 10 pairs of feet, which makes 20 actual feet


If your plane crashed in a remote area and the rescue party never arrived, and it was only you and a guy paralysed from the waist down left alive, when the time comes that you can no longer go on without food, would you secretly eat chunks from his legs while he was asleep? 



Or would you try and persuede him to let you eat his legs saying...- then...you can have some too?


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## aqwsderf (Aug 16, 2013)

I think I'd be concerned if I had to survive with you ... lol

And no I would not turn cannibal, I'll just accept my death. Not killing the guy 😆

Are you attracted to watermelons?


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

aqwsderf said:


> I think I'd be concerned if I had to survive with you ... lol
> 
> And no I would not turn cannibal, I'll just accept my death. Not killing the guy &#128518;
> 
> Are you attracted to watermelons?


If it was just you and me, I would definitely offer up my legs to you for dinner, I'll pass though and stick with some plants.

Lol attracted to water melons ? Actually, I guess I am in a way.

Have you ever talked to someone for 30/40 minutes only to realise they were just a cardboard cut out ?


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## Fever Dream (Aug 18, 2015)

No, but I'm the cardboard cut out.


Can you beat Abraham Lincoln in a fist fight?


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## CarpeLibrum (Jun 2, 2015)

I'd always lose to those righteous fists. 


What would be the worst "buy one get one free" sale ever?


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

When you have one of those dreams where you fly, does your dream actually include the mundane details like the part where you take off or does it just come in when you're already flying? Does it actually make sense in your mind as to how you're flying or does your mind kinda know you're not supposed to fly and there's something wrong?


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

I have a rercurring dream actually, I'm at my childhood home and friends and family are round, and I have this flying chair, just a normal kitchen chair with the armrest's, and I can make this chair fly, so I fly up to about 30ft, and just leaning to steer it, I start flying all over the other houses gardens, come back to mine to land, then take off again. It feels normal to be able to fly it.


Have you ever attacked someone for constantly staring at your partner, only to find out they are actually blind?


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## spitfire444 (Feb 7, 2014)

No, but I liked the Mr Bean sketch on a beach with a similar intent.

Which two fruits do you like the most? (even if you rarely get chance to munch)


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

Mango and Strawberry's 



If I turned up at your front door tomorow with a suitcase and said "its D'avjo here from the forum, I need to lay low for a few weeks so can I stay here? What would you say ? 



and if you agreed, where would we go out for a few beers in the evening?


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

Shoes for the sales one if you're there with a gf. You know your day's shot.

Welcome to my domicile. Make sure you're aware where your fingers and toes are at all times. Enjoy some spaghetti. The taverns and pubs seem pretty busy despite the pandemic. The women here tend to be obtuse in a purely mathematical way.


Have you ever tried to explain yourself and deliver a convincing argument to one of your pets?


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## spitfire444 (Feb 7, 2014)

Yes, cats.

Do you fear the delivery guy?


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

No I welcome the delivery guy with open arms, as I do with any visitor.


You need to arrange a 6 strong team from SAS forum to carry out a daring mission to retreive the nuke that ISIS have stolen from Israel. Which members do you choose and why ?


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## spitfire444 (Feb 7, 2014)

Mr T - boom-voiced
Liam Howlett- very kewl
Pr. Trump - he would be shot in the attack - ooops
Mr Phipps - erstwhile geography teacher 
Mary Kirkdike - old memories of the milk round
Mrs Mop - keep it ship shape and bristol fashion

If mop is to cleaning, what is knife to ...?


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## Orb (Nov 5, 2012)

circus acts involving clowns

Would you open box no.1 or no.2?


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

1

Do you have any video footage of yourself bouncing around inside a vehicle with a stiff suspension on a really bumpy road?


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## spitfire444 (Feb 7, 2014)

No.

How many pairs of socks do you have? (that are in use)


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

I have fashioned a sock rope to rescue a princess in a tower but she decided she'd rather stay.


If I could read your mind where would I find your secret hiding spot for all your priceless heirlooms?


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## Fever Dream (Aug 18, 2015)

Behind your right ear.

Are you secretly a robot buffalo, and if not do you know where I can find one?


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

No. Maybe in Westworld? 



What was the last body part you scratched?


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

I have no idea

If you owned a motorized scooter (like the ones in grocery stores) would you sometimes take it outside and ride around on it just because it was there?


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Do you think it would be wrong to name a dog Steve or Harold?


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## aqwsderf (Aug 16, 2013)

Lol no

How much wood would you chuck if you were a woodchuck chucking wood?


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Depends on how far I could chuck it. I'd be embarrassed if I couldn't chuck it a country mile and give up on chucking wood. 

Do you think birds plan things or just wing it?


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## Orb (Nov 5, 2012)

Wing it, they're just fly-by-nights

You see a crazed pack of killer tomatoes running towards you. You estimate there are about 50 of them. You have a choice of weapons - chainsaw, bow and arrows (100), and a samurai sword. You can only pick one to defend yourself. Which do you choose and why?


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

I think I'd take the sword and run. Anything other than running away with a sharp object would be more likely to end up with me myself with missing body parts and being mauled by the killer tomatoes to boot.

Would you ever consider growing a beard and dying it hot pink?


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## Fever Dream (Aug 18, 2015)

Beard, got one of those. Dye in pink, no.

How long has it been since you changed your underwear?


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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

8 hours.

When's the last time you peed?


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## Fever Dream (Aug 18, 2015)

About 30 minutes ago.

How many slices of bread can you fit into your mouth?


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## either/or (Apr 27, 2020)

About half a loaf because I only eat bread when its soaking wet. Apparently most people don't do this?

Who do you think would win in a fight, a giant robot-priest bot or Mothra (assuming he was recently neutered)?


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## Alpha Tauri (Mar 19, 2017)

Most people would say Mothra, however, that’s a common newbie mistake. Most people oversee the fact that Mothra is a Bug/Steel type and is weak to Fire. Like 4X damage. The giant robot priest-bot is a Psychic/Holy type but can be taught Fighting type moves too. Along with it’s strong Special Attack base stat (and with the right hold item - an Earth Pendant, duh), GRP-bot could easily handle a Mothra of any build. Neutered or not, there’s no denying that Mothra is defensive attacker and is thereby weak to special attacks. 



Why are boxing rings square?


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## Hereyea (Jul 14, 2020)

Paying homage to squares

If squirrels played instruments, do you think that'd make them more calm?


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## either/or (Apr 27, 2020)

Alpha Tauri said:


> Most people would say Mothra, however, that's a common newbie mistake. Most people oversee the fact that Mothra is a Bug/Steel type and is weak to Fire. Like 4X damage. The giant robot priest-bot is a Psychic/Holy type but can be taught Fighting type moves too. Along with it's strong Special Attack base stat (and with the right hold item - an Earth Pendant, duh), GRP-bot could easily handle a Mothra of any build. Neutered or not, there's no denying that Mothra is defensive attacker and is thereby weak to special attacks.


Wow, I must say, I am in awe of the precision of your answer as well as your keen insights on this matter. At first blush I would have gone with Mothra however I cannot deny you make a compelling case for the giant robot-priest bot. Good show sir, jolly good show!


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

Would you blind yourself or cut a leg off below the knee, or other related actions, if you knew you would clean up at the para-olympics in a few events, and become a huge star around the world making 10s or 100s of millions?


Me and some friends discussed it on friday night, as my bad elbow injury cropped up in disccussion, and whether I should try for the para boxing event.


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## Hereyea (Jul 14, 2020)

$Blind myself$

What spaghetti be petty towards a meatball if the meatball cut in line in front of it?


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

that wholemeal spaghetti, thinking "im so healthy and look at me I take longer to cook" ****. Plain arrogant and no doubt petty.


If you had the best meatballs ever, so delicious, would you go back and order meatballs again, if the chef said they are actually mens testacles?


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## Hereyea (Jul 14, 2020)

Sure but wanna make sure they're not deceased men's testacles first

If SpongeBob was your landlord would you be happy?


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

I am pretty sure spongebob would be really annoying irl


If you can only wear one article of clothing at a time, would you rather have trousers up to your neck or a droopy shirt down to your ankles?


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

Droopy shirt. I think I could call myself a religious freak and call it a tunic, which is something I'd like to be part of my wardrobe.

If you ate people, do you think you can only eat the opposite sex/gender without people questioning your sexual orientation?


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

I would eat them, but they'd end up questioning whether I am sexist or not.

Not weird, but which wild animal would you cuddle and why.


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

I don't know. Maybe a wolf because dogs seem to like me.


Have you realized that every zombie movie in the last 20 years began with some sort of vaccine/med being given without testing for side effects? If you become a zombie would you try to eat the brains of just smart people (healthy eating choices) or any average internet user (McDonald's) would do?


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

I'd try to stick to healthy during the week so smart people would be my choice then. At weekends, I dont mind letting things go, so whatever I fancied really...maybe even get a delivery onn Sat night.


If you had to marry a mermaid and if you could choose...would you have the womans body and head and the fish from the waist down, or the other way round ?


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

Human body and head, and fish waist down. Since if you're thinking in terms sex, it is pointless unless I have a sexual attraction to fishes. 



How often do you clean your ears with a cotton swab?


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

About as often as I swab the deck. 

Have you ever wanted to be a horse owner?


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

no, i dont like their eyes


you were born conjoined to your bro or sis, and could be seperated now as an adult, but one, any one, would have to die. first. Would you kill him or her when the chance arose ?


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

Nah, but I wonder where conjoined people buy their clothes and how they use the bathroom? I may have to sew myself to someone for a short period to see how it all works.

If some business paid you to change your name to their advertising slogan, would you consider it? Something like Nike Justdoit III or the Try Taco Bell Chalupas?


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Probably. I guess it depends how much. If I could live on the amount they paid me for at least 30 years it'd be worth it. I probably don't have 30 years.

What is your favorite way to waste a minute?


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## Fever Dream (Aug 18, 2015)

Sleeping.

How many pairs of underwear can you comfortably wear under your pants?


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

I have never tried more than one pair.


If you could choose any animal to become your best friend, with the abilty to talk, what animal would you choose?


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## Deezie (Aug 21, 2020)

I think I would want to be best friends with a monkey

What scary movie/story has scared you the most?


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

texas chainsaw massacre


if you were allowed to kill people just by clicking your fingers, would you kill any ?


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

Seems a bit extreme, maybe just maim them a little


If someone sent you a fancy box with a please do not open until a date one week from now, do you wait?


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

nah I open straight away


what would you rather have to do, swim across the pacific witth only a few noodles to keep you afloat? or be the first person to ever attempt the crossing across via quantum entanglemen, after it successsfully transported Terry the chimp ?


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

I am using Heisenberg's uncertainty and Schrodinger's cat to manifest myself everyplace at once. It's cheaper than flying.

If you were a knight in shining armor coming in to rescue the day, how do you escape my giant magnet?


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## introvert33 (Jun 23, 2010)

I chuck a big chunk of iron at it so hard it shatters.

If you were a ghost what would you do?


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

Possess Whoopi Goldberg


What was the last thing you've taken from others without permission?


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## Fever Dream (Aug 18, 2015)

A pen, but to be fair I was stealing it back.

How many barrel rolls have you done today?


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## introvert33 (Jun 23, 2010)

None

Where would you hide the body?


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

In the darkness. Thus nude walks only at night. 



What was your most memorable stepping on poop moment?


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

I am not sure, there's been so many. Maybe, my discovery of that novel virus when I fell into that pit of bat guano deep in a cave while searching for the fountain of prosperity and knowledge. I guess that could have been a dream or I might have saw it on TV. Things have gotten hazy after the encephalitis.

Have you ever washed your car and forgotten to put the windows up?


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## Gennadiy (Sep 1, 2020)

Never 


If you were a dinosaur what would you do with your neighbours?


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

Give them a ride to and from the pub on my back- i like my neighbours


If they were completely harmless mentally and physically would you smoke cigs, weed, crack and meth, take mdma and inject heroin on a daily basis? Not necessarily altogether.


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

Nah, probably not. I'd probably prefer good food that doesn't make my butt too big.

If I was going to write a book with characters based on you and me going on all these adventures, what sort of movie rating should I aim for in your opinion?


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

farfegnugen said:


> Nah, probably not. I'd probably prefer good food that doesn't make my butt too big.
> 
> If I was going to write a book with characters based on you and me going on all these adventures, what sort of movie rating should I aim for in your opinion?


You mean the BDSM one you mentioned to me ? You better not go ahead and do it anyway, I wasnt pissing around when I said I had a lawyer

Back to the question, has to be an 18 surely...strong sexual content, violence, gore and horror from the outset. With your writing and my powerful acting performances, I think it could become a cult move fargungey or whatever your name is.

Would you french kiss my nan for 500 quid?

ughh lol


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

Well, if she has cookies it is going to be the start of something beautiful

Do you think this question is worth the time you took to open this thread and read it?


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## SunshineSam218 (Dec 6, 2013)

farfegnugen said:


> Well, if she has cookies it is going to be the start of something beautiful
> 
> Do you think this question is worth the time you took to open this thread and read it?


I was curious, so I decided to open this thread and read the question, lol!!!

*Next Question: Would you ever put cookie crumbs on your pizza? Random question, I know. Just humor me and answer it, lol! :grin2:*


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## introvert33 (Jun 23, 2010)

Probably not on my own. 


What would you serve for dinner if someone important was coming?


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## Alleviate Suffering (Jan 28, 2014)

I would cook Lasagne because I love Lasagne and if the important person doesn't like it they can do one as far as I am concerned. I mean it would probably be best if I don't cook it myself and bribe one of my friends who is actually competent at cooking to do it instead. 

What would be the least appropriate time to laugh really, really loudly?


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

walking in on your naked grandfather after he's taken a cold shower



If your significant other or someone else you liked committed a crime would you turn that person in?


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## mt moyt (Jul 29, 2015)

I would not

would you rather get 1million $ or trade lives with someone else


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

Probably one million because I'm pretty sure I'd screw someone else's life up if I tried to live it.


If you could be put into deep freeze and revived in some future time, how far into the future would you like to go and what do you think future fashion will be like?


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

Next tuesday, and it will be pretty similar to now fashion wise.


If I give you $500K, will you come to England to be hunted with various weapons in the local forest by me and my family on our traditional xmas day hunt, with your head being fixed on the wall, like a moose, if we are successful?


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## staticradio725 (Oct 25, 2020)

Honestly, I can think of very little I *wouldn't* do for that amount of money. I might suck at self defense, but at least my head would look pretty on your wall!

Would you rather be forced listen to the same song on repeat for the next 365 days, or be forced to watch the same movie on repeat for the next 365 days?


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

I'll listen to John Cage's 4'33 on repeat for the next year, no problem.

What weird question would you ask if you were in a weird question thread?


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

depends what song and what film, can we choose ? I'd go for same song.


If you were a conjoined twin, with two heads, and were given the chance to be separated but only if you strangled your conjoined sis or bro. Would you do it and tell the police that he actually controlled the arms and hands, and strangled himself?


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

D'avjo said:


> depends what song and what film, can we choose ? I'd go for same song.
> 
> If you were a conjoined twin, with two heads, and were given the chance to be separated but only if you strangled your conjoined sis or bro. Would you do it and tell the police that he actually controlled the arms and hands, and strangled himself?


No, what kind of monster do you think I am?


* *




Yes




If you _weren't_ a conjoined twin, with two heads, and were given the chance to be rid of your bro/sis but only if you strangled them. Would you do it and tell the police that he actually controlled the arms and hands, and strangled himself?


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

SplendidBob said:


> No, what kind of monster do you think I am?
> 
> 
> * *
> ...


I know exactly which bit of you is monster bob !!


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

D'avjo said:


> I know exactly which bit of you is monster bob !!


You naughty sausage!!


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

SplendidBob said:


> You naughty sausage!!


The exact words I said to it when I saw it.


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

Hm. Yes? 
...
..
weird question, if anyone wants to answer, what smell of any food would you have if it came in the form of a room freshener


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

Maybe.

Where do you think the extra socks go when you do the laundry and have you ever thought about donating your single socks to a one-legged person?


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## D'avjo (Sep 23, 2018)

farfegnugen said:


> Maybe.
> 
> Where do you think the extra socks go when you do the laundry and have you ever thought about donating your single socks to a one-legged person?


I know this one and its down to a key principle of quantum mechanics. If the socks are being oberved in the washing machine then they will act just like the socks we all know and love, and you'll get both of them back, but remove any inteference in the washing socks system and the socks act like waves and its simply impossible to know their exact position and and their exact velocity at the same time. The sock with the most mass will appear somewhere in the washing machine, but the other, depending on the spin setting used will appear somewhere else in the universe, almost anywhere. If you had infinite time to live, eventually the missing sock will re appear on your bare foot. Its ineveitable.

Would you read me a bedtime story for £20 a night, and sing me a lullably after, if I chuck in another tenner?


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