# How do you cope with social anxiety when it comes to online gaming?



## PyroKittens (Aug 18, 2016)

Sorry if this is not the right fourm for it, but as someone with a high social anxiousness I get so scared sometimes for playing online. It usually takes me awhile just to get the courage to actually play against people and not bots. And online friends that want to play together with me almost makes me break out into a panic, it terrifies me.

I guess what I am asking is, how are people able to cope with it?


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

Sometimes I just don't plug a headset in so I don't have to talk. Having to talk and communicate with strangers in online gaming is what gives me anxiety. I did play a couple of online modes with a long time online friend and talking was okay in that situation most of the time.


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## Moxi (Nov 24, 2015)

Mm, step by step really. Going in with a group if you join a guild for certain games can help a lot, as some of them emphasize being less competitive and more relaxed so there's less potential for people to lash out at you if that's something that makes you nervous. Playing games with better communities helps, such as Heroes of the Storm rather than League of Legends. 

I think it gets better as social anxiety gets better, but it's a good place to practice, too. You won't see most of these people again and they'll forget you next game, anyway. It's virtually consequence free and any social awkwardness is a lot less annoying than the trolls and ragers.


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## Mysteriis (Apr 7, 2014)

I just pretend that i don't have a mic and i don't usually play serious competitive games unless i am very pro at this game.I usually prefer coop games as playing with bot is easier and less people will rage at you if you did a mistake.


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## Makenzie83 (Aug 23, 2016)

I had major SA when running raids and dungeons, especially as a healer. I was so afraid the raid/dungeon would wipe and everyone would be mad at me, but THEN I realized no one online really knows who I am IRL and if worse comes to worse I can always switch guilds or servers. I've been playing WOW for 10+ years now and know everyone really well, so it's not really an issue anymore. At the end of the day, it's just a game.


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## hmnut (Aug 8, 2011)

I don't do online gaming. All my fears about people came true when I tried online gaming.

1. I was playing GTA 4 online (when it first came out), I was in some team match where I had to drive a group of four somewhere, I didn't know what I was doing, because it was my first time playing that match (and I wasn't expecting to be the team driver just one of the shooters). So I went the wrong way and every began making fun of me and belittling me because of my mistakes. (mic on).

My fear that if I try something new and don't do well people laugh at me.

2. I tried another team match, this one a simple kill the other team. (mic off). The guy on my team kept killing me. No matter where I went he would hunt me down and kill me rather than the guys on the other team.

My fear that people I am suppose to work with/trust are actually trying to hurt or embarrass me.

I avoid online gaming like the damn plague. I've had a few good experiences like with WoW, I've been on a few good raids, and made some decent (albeit temporary) friends.

But the good does not make up for the trauma of the bad.

I don't do online gaming.


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## Antiquated Mech (Jul 9, 2016)

I jump into online gaming every now and again but tend to hit a wall eventually especially when communication is required. Have been trying to play Overwatch and am at a stage where I really want to try and co-ordinate better with other players but I can't bring myself to plug my mic into my headset.

I think part of the issue is because I'm playing for fun and am not massively competitive, whereas a lot of the vocal players I have encountered are way too serious and only care about a win. Just need to find a group of like minded people and then I'm sure I'd be more willing to play online more and communicate more.


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## Jermster91 (Oct 25, 2015)

I believe that online gaming might be one of the best ways to help you with social anxiety. Before, I got my PS4, my friends on there were more for high kill to death ratios. Sure there are a few bad seeds of gamers out there that are either *******s or idiots. My best friend I met through a online video game. I asked if anyone want to play and he responded that he wanted it. We have been good friends for the last 2 years. Sure we have had are ups and downs, but I wouldn't change it. Through him, I have met other mutual friends that we share a common connection. Sure it may be terrifying at first, but I think it may be the best decision you can make. I believe that having online friends has lessened my Social Anxiety a bit because I fell more comfortable talking to new people I might meet. Real life might be different but for not I think it is good.


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## Estillum (Oct 24, 2012)

That's easy, I don't play online. Excluding Dark Souls (if that even counts) I haven't played a game online in many years, and I usually don't have much interest in games that are solely online. I get most of my multiplayer itch out with my brother, someone a lot more predictable and reasonable than most of the people I've been matched with in multiplayer games before.


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## Zozulya (Mar 24, 2016)

Don't take (offensive) vocal/text chat personally when something goes wrong, and imagine that you can be anything else than yourself in video games. Nobody (except your friends of course) will know about you.


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## Mr A (Oct 7, 2015)

*guy on other end of the mic starts to harass you on your gaming skill*

*quits game*

I just mute everyone in the game before I even start lol.

By the way, what games are you into? If you have a Runescape account (for example), maybe you can add me, because literally all the people I used to play it with have _long _ moved on with their lives, and my friends list is dead :'(.

I also have a PSN, XBL, and Steam account for the record.


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## Jermster91 (Oct 25, 2015)

Another you can do is mute the other players or put in some ear buds and listen to music to avoid other players.


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## TheLastShy (Sep 20, 2014)

I can't stand people raging or being mean so I usually end up muting them, raging back or trolling. I lost count of how much games I trolled because of it. I even had my old account permanently banned.


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## duganrm (Apr 8, 2016)

I play DDO every night and have for years now (started when the game went F2P). When I was unemployed, I spent time joining groups, getting to know people, and got into some guilds. People that knew me, knew that I would avoid using voice chat and they worked with it. Now that I have been working for awhile, I just spend my nights running around by myself (occasionally I have guildies that ask me to do something with them).

Even though I play 4-5 hours every night, I am very much a casual player and I haven't found anyone else that plays the way I do. When I do get into groups, they run things that I am not setup character or gear wise to run. I end up either being useless in a corner or lots of deaths. The people I run with don't mind but I just find it isn't fun.


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## vela (Apr 19, 2012)

I just avoid communicating with people. I play on PC so in most games you can just turn off stuff like voice and text chat. Not that I play very many multiplayer games.


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

I stay well away from voice comms unless I have assurrance that I can just listen and type instead of speaking. Awkward, but it has worked in games like EVE Online. Otherwise, I don't have too much anxiety about competitive play, unless it's some uber hardcore thing with a small team and individual responsibility. Being in a large team of randoms is like being in a crowd - you blend in and matter less the larger it is. But I've been into casual competitive play ever since Age of Empires 2, back when Microsoft Game Zone was a thing, heh. Even so, I like to be familiar with the gameplay before jumping into PVP, where possible. When I get insulted I file it under either ''duh, I know I suck'' or ''he mad''.


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## user2017 (Feb 8, 2016)

I have never used voice chat in online games, only text chat... If I meet someone nice ingame and he wants to play with me and would like to use voice chat during that I just said some stupid excuses like "I don't have a mic", "my mic is broken atm" in the past. However, a few months ago I started to tell the truth (that I have SA) when people wanted to use voice chat.. So far all people were understanding.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

I play very few online games and the ones i play don't require me to join parties or talk to other people, unless i want to buy something from them.


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## ShadowOne (Jun 27, 2016)

I never, ever use a mic. Then I'm just playing with better ai. Only time I get an sa feeling without a mic js like in rocket league where I do something incredibly stupid and everyone hates me so I quit lol

Even stuff like overwatch is still very playable without talking to people. I just don't do ranked games where people take things to seriously


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## Groomp (Mar 29, 2016)

I just play with my mic muted and stay away from games that require a lot of vocal teamwork, unless I'm in a party with close friends that I'm comfortable talking with. I tried using a mic in Elder Scrolls Online to do some dungeons and pvp as a healer.... was not a fun time.


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## Bashroot (Sep 2, 2016)

I just usually text to talk to people in dungeons on WoW but mostly only when someone puts me on the spot or when everyone is greeting each other at the start.


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## Sonic Death Monkey (Aug 11, 2016)

I rarely play online unless I really want to get all trophies or achievements for a game and even then I turn off my mic and mute everyone unless its a team oriented game or its in a boosting session.


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## Torkani (Nov 9, 2012)

I can play and talk to other people when i'm in the game. (and about the game) It's being friends with these people or having contact with them outside the game that really scares me. I can't accept friend requests or talk to people online. It gives me too much anxiety.


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