# Whats the point of lying about plans?



## KelsKels (Oct 4, 2011)

About a week ago I ran into someone I knew from one of my classes in high school. We were able to kind of make conversation for a little bit, and before she left she said shed send me her number on facebook and we could hang out and party or whatever. Also, one of the girls I worked with told me she missed me so much, and shed be sure to text me so we would hang out before my birthday. Neither one contacted me. I don't get why people do this. I mean we never hung out when we saw each other on a daily basis, nothing is going to change now. We both know were not going to see each other again. So why do people lie like that? I just don't understand. If I don't have any intention on seeing someone, Im not going to pretend that I do.


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## KelsKels (Oct 4, 2011)

Aw.. 100 views and no replies


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## Tumbling Destiny (May 13, 2012)

It's possible they didn't mean to lie and really just forgot. It happens. Also, I think people sometimes do this because it's an easy out of a conversation. It's more comfortable to pretend there's a chance of seeing someone again rather than just saying goodbye forever.


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

IMO, someone would give their number right away and not wait for facebook. Also maybe you could contact them first, though it sounds like your not too pushed. I don't know why people do this, it may make them feel good during the conversation but think nothing of it later :hugs


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

KelsKels said:


> About a week ago I ran into someone I knew from one of my classes in high school. We were able to kind of make conversation for a little bit, and before she left she said shed send me her number on facebook and we could hang out and party or whatever. Also, one of the girls I worked with told me she missed me so much, and shed be sure to text me so we would hang out before my birthday. Neither one contacted me. I don't get why people do this. I mean we never hung out when we saw each other on a daily basis, nothing is going to change now. We both know were not going to see each other again. So why do people lie like that? I just don't understand. If I don't have any intention on seeing someone, Im not going to pretend that I do.





KelsKels said:


> Aw.. 100 views and no replies


well, some people genuinely just forget to text or call or what have you... ive done that several times when its people who i had a genuine interest in contacting but just never got around to it cause i either didnt have the energy, or i lost the persons number... and there have been several times were it was just one of those things that kept getting pushed back until i forgot about it... but other times saying that "i would like to keep in touch" and then exchanging numbers is just another one of those social hoops people jump through for the sake of being what they see as polite even if it would seem rude when we never actually end hearing from them


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## Owl-99 (Mar 7, 2012)

And some people are just flaky and plain insincere.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

I don't think it's an active lie so much as simple human nature. 

They may say it or think it 'in the moment' (with halfway legitimate intentions), but either forget about it or reconsider with a "Nah, I don't feel like doing that."

This is why I don't like running into people from my past (or people I 'know of' but don't associate with). It all seems fake.


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## caffeinefiend (Jul 3, 2013)

I think people sometimes say it because it feels like an "appropriate" end to a convo.


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## SuperSky (Feb 16, 2011)

caffeinefiend said:


> I think people sometimes say it because it feels like an "appropriate" end to a convo.


I was about to say exactly that.


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## pancake111 (Sep 3, 2011)

I get this sometimes. I'll ask a friend if they're busy and they can't hang out. Then the next day they tell me how someone asked them to hang out and they did. like WTF. idk what to tell you. I'm still figuring it out for myself. And it may not be intentional. They could've gotten busy or forgotten. Contact them again as sort of a reminder.


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

I flake like that all the time, I never remember/work up the nerve to message people who aren't already close friends to do things.


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## allthatsparkles (Mar 1, 2013)

It's possible that they simply forgot. Why don't you take the initiative and call or text them? I know that there have been plenty of times that I've told someone that we should hang out (and I sincerely meant it), but then life got busy, and it slipped my mind to contact them and plan something.


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## Scarlettskkye (Jul 27, 2013)

KelsKels said:


> About a week ago I ran into someone I knew from one of my classes in high school. We were able to kind of make conversation for a little bit, and before she left she said shed send me her number on facebook and we could hang out and party or whatever. Also, one of the girls I worked with told me she missed me so much, and shed be sure to text me so we would hang out before my birthday. Neither one contacted me. I don't get why people do this. I mean we never hung out when we saw each other on a daily basis, nothing is going to change now. We both know were not going to see each other again. So why do people lie like that? I just don't understand. If I don't have any intention on seeing someone, Im not going to pretend that I do.


I HATE when people do that to me. It happens all the time, "omg i miss you so much" "we seriously have to hangout soon" And yet not a single text or any type of contact. Hm, funny how "interested" they were during the original conversation. Welcome to my school and the girls who attend. Its so annoying. Just makes the person look incredibly fake.


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

Sometimes people get tied up and it's accidental. Sometimes people get caught in the moment and make promises they can't keep. Sometimes you run into a compulsive liar lol.


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## Scarlettskkye (Jul 27, 2013)

Trademark said:


> Sometimes people get tied up and it's accidental. Sometimes people get caught in the moment and make promises they can't keep. Sometimes you run into a compulsive liar lol.


People should think before they speak.


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

Scarlettskkye said:


> People should think before they speak.


Sure, but people make mistakes. In situations like these, I think it's best to double check or remind the person at a later date to make sure the plans are still in action.


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## KelsKels (Oct 4, 2011)

The thing is, I know its not that people "just forget". I know they don't have any intention of hanging out in the first place. Both the girls that I mentioned are completely different than me, and we never got along well enough to ever hang out in the first place. So I really don't think that not seeing someone for two years, makes them want to actually try and hang out. As for the other girl I mentioned, I did text her back a week or so later.. and she completely ignored me. Im under the impression that people just want to look good, to look like cool and nice people, but really they have no intention of being a real friend.


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

KelsKels said:


> The thing is, I know its not that people "just forget". I know they don't have any intention of hanging out in the first place. Both the girls that I mentioned are completely different than me, and we never got along well enough to ever hang out in the first place. So I really don't think that not seeing someone for two years, makes them want to actually try and hang out. As for the other girl I mentioned, I did text her back a week or so later.. and she completely ignored me. Im under the impression that people just want to look good, to look like cool and nice people, but really they have no intention of being a real friend.


It's a possibility. Your hunches may be correct. The number one reason people lie is to avoid reaping the punishment or reaction they deserve. So in your situation, it may have made a lot of sense for them to lie. I think you should acknowledge the whole thing as a mystery though. Consider the fact that your view is absent of their perspective. The girls might have not known it would hurt you as much as it did.

An interesting thing about life is that a person's way of thinking can be drastically different from yours. Sometimes we see what others don't.

I get where you're coming from. I would have felt the same way *if* I wanted to hang out with someone lol (usually I'm so relieved they left me alone that I don't mind the possibility of them being liars =P).


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## Scarlettskkye (Jul 27, 2013)

KelsKels said:


> The thing is, I know its not that people "just forget". I know they don't have any intention of hanging out in the first place. Both the girls that I mentioned are completely different than me, and we never got along well enough to ever hang out in the first place. So I really don't think that not seeing someone for two years, makes them want to actually try and hang out. As for the other girl I mentioned, I did text her back a week or so later.. and she completely ignored me. Im under the impression that people just want to look good, to look like cool and nice people, but really they have no intention of being a real friend.


Exactly. They know as they are saying it that it's not actually going to happen.


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## HanSolo (Jul 5, 2013)

SuperSky said:


> I was about to say exactly that.


Well hello there, nice armor


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## KelsKels (Oct 4, 2011)

HanSolo said:


> Well hello there, nice armor


D'aww.. found another couple that needs to be shipped!


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## SuperSky (Feb 16, 2011)

HanSolo said:


> Well hello there, nice armor


Oh, thank you :blush
Your laser cannons are quite impressive.


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## App (Jun 28, 2013)

Haven't a clue what you two are on about!!!


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

This happens in my family a lot. Many times my father will run into one of his sisters that he hasn't seen for years and they'll be like "oh... we'll have you over for dinner sometime or i'll call in for a visit..." but nothing ever happens. I think people just say that. It's being nice. It looks better than saying see ya.


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## jmoop (Jul 12, 2009)

They're just saving face when they say "let's hang out sometime!" It's nicer than saying "I don't want to make the time to hang out with you."

I admit I've done the same thing a few times, and I was trying to be nice without actually wanting to hang out with the person. In my case, I was trying to avoid an anxiety-inducing situation; it's far easier to say yes than no in that case even though it's a lie.


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## Just Here (Jul 16, 2013)

I think they were just trying to be nice. Yes they could have forgotten. Why don't you FB them and see if that's what happen. Other wise it may be better to let it go.


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## Trigo (Aug 3, 2012)

Haha this keeps happening to me op...

I ran into this girl I hadn't seen in a while at my college, she's the one who saw me first so she approached me to talk, she looked happy to see me we even hugged after the conversation, I messaged her saying I barely knew anyone here and that we should hang out together in between classes, she said sure I don't know many people in here either. Haven't heard from her since, I messaged her but it was met with silence, what the...?

Then when I asked some other girl at my college if we should hang out during summer she said yes but when trying to plan something with her she suddenly stops replying? I mean what the hell I've only asked once it's not like I was being clingy or aggressive about it. It makes me so mad, I don't even understand what's going on.

Guess I'll just have to rot alone as I always did, there's no way out of this loneliness. The worst part is the false hope it gives when they pretend like they want to be your friend, kills me every time.


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