# Social Anxiety at Work



## jook

Hi Friends:
I was just wondering how other people have dealt with having to work. I have worked sporadically all my life because of the SA and find working difficult. While we worry about what others think of us, I find that in a work situation the dynamics of social anxiety are intensified. In a work situation you actually are being evaluated based on your performance, which is what a socially anxious person dreads the most. People actually do start to react to you differently if you are withdrawn at work. They treat you like you're stupid or insignificant. This causes me to become more withdrawn and even angry. How do you deal with the work environment?


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## GermanHermit

I kind of grew into it over the years. Plus with work experience the confidence also grew and I could also develop a certain routine with standard social situations at work.


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## jook

Emerita I think you are very fortunately to have had your confidence grow with work experience. This is often not the case for people with SA and they suffer badly for years while maintaining employment, don't remain significantly employed, or don't work at all. Consider yourself extremely fortunate that you remain gainfully employed. Also that you have "developed a routine with standard social situations at work" and that this works for you. Peoples strong and weak points vary tremendously with SA. It's truly a "customized" disorder. So I commend you that the work place is something that you have been able to manage in your life. However, I would like to respond to something else you say:

_It is very difficult for clueless people treating shy, anxious, unconfident people "properly" so they won't feel patronized or stupid or something like that. Not that it doesn't happen, but often even if they were handled with kid gloves they would feel miserable. It's a mental trick to pass over responsibility for the cause and consequences of our negative feelings to somebody else. Like that we are off the hook!
_
I agree it must be difficult for people to know how to respond with shy/socially anxious people. Because of this I can write off their patronizing or snide remarks or whatever as ignorance. People are sometimes hurtful in their response to SA and it doesn't make them bad. People have basically no understanding of what SA is or what it looks like so naturally they come up with their own rationale oregarding anxious behavior. Even if we don't blame them for rudenss, snide remarks or other hurtful behavior there's nothing wrong with acknowledging that it's there. This acknowledgment is not as you suggest:

_...a mental trick to pass over responsibility for the cause and consequences of our negative feelings to somebody else_. (So that) _Like that we are off the hook! 
_
Your perspective was a bit shocking to me. People with SA are usually more sensitive than that. However, I respect your right to have that perspective.


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## GermanHermit

Thanks for the non-aggressive fair criticism, I appreciate that.
Hopefully some of the other crickets can be of better help to you.


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## scarpia

I agree - it can be living hell having SA and working. I was on disability 13 years ago, but I went off it when I found a decent full time job with health insurance. Then a few years ago the boss changed and the job became terrible. I got suspended and then laid off. Now I will have to find another job that I can deal with. It's not just the job - I have to have a boss and coworkers I can deal with. It seems impossible. I am kicking myself for going off that disability years ago. 

I'm not sure what I can say to help. The best is to find a job working alone as much as possible. In my last job I was only relaxed in the 30-40 minutes a day when I was on my own.


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## Positive

I'm in the same shoe. 

What has worked for you...


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## merryk

I'm dealing less well in the world of work the older I get. It's not that I don't _want_ to work, I just don't fit into what's generally available--which isn't a whole lot nowadays as is, and living in a rural area makes it more challenging.

I think if I created my own work situation, I'd do ok. Ideally, I'd like to be a house manager/personal assistant to a friendly, fun, creative and intellectual type. Matched with the right person, I could do a good job of freeing them up to pursue their livelihood without having to sweat the small stuff. However, finding and _contacting_ people in need of this arrangement takes social skills that have become very daunting for me!

To anyone who wants help figuring what work may be a decent fit, a good job coach can offer an objective opinion and hold you accountable to follow through with plans, etc. I briefly enlisted one years ago. There are also options (testing, advice) at your local job resource center, so you don't need money.

Alas, I'm now on a path of less resistance with piss-ant work that doesn't utilize my strengths and leaves me unhappy that I'm wasting my life.:mum I'd best turn over a new leaf, because my current four hours/week income isn't going to take me far!!


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## scarpia

I'm not sure how many people are able to find the job that they really want. It seems to me that you fall into some job and make the best of it. In this economy lots of people are just happy to have a job. I put out lots of resumes recently and didn't even get an interview. My former coworker's husband is really a salesman. But he ended up getting a job working for the cable company. He has wanted out for a while. But he has adjusted and is getting raises. The job has health insurance at a reasonable cost too. That's a major thing.


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## jook

Thanks everybody for responding to this forum. I had a couple of very good days at work. I've been practicing acceptance therapy. I'm excited! I had written an indepth post about how acceptance works but when I tried to post the system had logged me out and the message was lost. I think this might be the therapy that actually works! If you'd like to know more about it I'll write some here later. But there's a book I would recommend if you're interested.

The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety: A Guide to Breaking Free from Anxiety, Phobias, and Worry Using Acceptance and Committment Therapy.

Sorry the longer post got lost but I just didn't have it in me to write it all out again tonight.

At work tomorrow regardless to what happens be kind to yourself.


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## VanDamMan

I find the more I think about it, the worse it gets. So if I find myself obsessing over having to discipline someone or go to a meeting or something, I immediately attack it; I do it right away. 

Strangely, I am able to turn off my SA for the most part at work.


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## jook

Van:
I bet you pay a heavy price when you get home in terms of physical and mental exhaustion... I wonder if you're really able to turn it off or if you'v learned to perform in spite of the SA. For most of my life I've done a pretty good performance myself but boy did it take a lot out of me. When I work with acceptance I don't feel as much pressure to perform or to try to hide my anxiety, nor as exhaustion. I think a lot of us get good at performing. It's not uncommon for people to SA to disclose to a someone and the person they tell had no clue that they had social anxiety. If you're really able to turn it off though, that's great!


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## VanDamMan

jook said:


> Van:
> I bet you pay a heavy price when you get home in terms of physical and mental exhaustion... I wonder if you're really able to turn it off or if you'v learned to perform in spite of the SA. For most of my life I've done a pretty good performance myself but boy did it take a lot out of me. When I work with acceptance I don't feel as much pressure to perform or to try to hide my anxiety, nor as exhaustion. I think a lot of us get good at performing. It's not uncommon for people to SA to disclose to a someone and the person they tell had no clue that they had social anxiety. If you're really able to turn it off though, that's great!


Its actually not bad.

But the minute it turns to "what did you do over the weekend" all bets are off.

Kind of funny, I went to a rich snobby douchy party over the weekend. It was obvious I wasn't welcome and got bad vibe from everyone. I switched into work mode and won most of them over. It had more of an effect on my wife who doesn't have SA. I do well with adversity, not so much positive situations.


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## jook

*Rough Today*

Just got in from work. Today was a rough day for me. Nothing particularly stressful happened. I guess that's just the nature of the beast. Sometimes you have a few good days and then for no apparent reason it seems like the bottom falls out. I am so exhausted right now in body and spirit. But I know setbacks are to be expected even as you work on eliminating the anxiety. Last night I participated in the telephone support group for SA and felt pretty good afterwards about the day ahead. The support group info for anyone interested can be found right here on this site by clicking the tab above labeled "Groups."

My supervisor at work appears to be a very sympathetic man. I have been having a strong urge to confide in him about my anxiety at work. I think he recognizes that I am at the least somewhat withdrawn and self-conscious about interacting at work, and he seems to try to make me comfortable by being very nice to me. Has anybody else ever done this? Does anybody have any suggestions as to if this might be a good idea?

Other than personal reasons, I have another reason for wanting to tell him. First, let me say it is a temp job and should only last another month so it's not like I have to maintain a working relationship there longer than that. In other words, there's not as much risk involved if things were to go awry. That being said, my other reason for wanting to tell my supervisor is to help bring awareness to SA within the working world. It has to start somewhere and I think I could make a small contribution to this goal by saying I have social anxiety so that people can begin to recognize and understand symptoms of SA.

Any thoughts about this would be greatly appreciated.


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## VanDamMan

jook said:


> Just got in from work. Today was a rough day for me. Nothing particularly stressful happened. I guess that's just the nature of the beast. Sometimes you have a few good days and then for no apparent reason it seems like the bottom falls out. I am so exhausted right now in body and spirit. But I know setbacks are to be expected even as you work on eliminating the anxiety. Last night I participated in the telephone support group for SA and felt pretty good afterwards about the day ahead. The support group info for anyone interested can be found right here on this site by clicking the tab above labeled "Groups."
> 
> My supervisor at work appears to be a very sympathetic man. I have been having a strong urge to confide in him about my anxiety at work. I think he recognizes that I am at the least somewhat withdrawn and self-conscious about interacting at work, and he seems to try to make me comfortable by being very nice to me. Has anybody else ever done this? Does anybody have any suggestions as to if this might be a good idea?
> 
> Other than personal reasons, I have another reason for wanting to tell him. First, let me say it is a temp job and should only last another month so it's not like I have to maintain a working relationship there longer than that. In other words, there's not as much risk involved if things were to go awry. That being said, my other reason for wanting to tell my supervisor is to help bring awareness to SA within the working world. It has to start somewhere and I think I could make a small contribution to this goal by saying I have social anxiety so that people can begin to recognize and understand symptoms of SA.
> 
> Any thoughts about this would be greatly appreciated.


I wouldn't go into detail. Just tell him you have a personal condition or thing you are working through.


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## jook

Thanks for your suggestion Van..any other takers?


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## scarpia

*SA is a disability covered by the Americans with Disabilities Act. Here's an article I found about how it might help to disclose the conditon to your employer: *

If you've been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder (SAD) and have received treatment, you need to decide whether or not to tell your employer (or potential employer) about your condition. The choice is yours -- you can choose to disclose or not disclose, and you can choose at what time you wish to disclose. 
You might be asking, "Why would I want to disclose my condition?" Reasons can vary, from not wanting to "hide" a condition, wanting to educate others about the condition, or needing accommodations at work. At the same time, there are barriers to disclosure, such as the stigma associated with having a mental health condition and potential discrimination by employers and coworkers. The good news is that any individual with a psychiatric disability is protected by the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). Anxiety disorders, and SAD in particular, fall under this designation. 
Under the ADA, you are not required to disclose your psychiatric disability unless you wish to request accommodations in the workplace. By the same token, a potential employer is not allowed to ask whether you have a disability during the hiring process. They may, however, make a job offer conditional on a medical examination. This medical examination must be required of all job candidates, not just those suspected of having a disability. 
If your potential employer discovers a disability during the examination, he or she may inquire about the nature of the disability. In this situation, it is best to be prepared to thoroughly explain the disorder and also detail the skills and abilities you possess that will enable you to fulfill the job requirements. 
The ADA also stipulates that an employee may disclose his condition at any point -- before applying, during the interview, after a job offer, or anytime after starting a job. Your reason for disclosing will probably dictate when you decide to disclose, and who you disclose to. 
If you need special accommodations during the hiring process, you may choose to speak with human resources at that time. If you require accommodations -- such as telecommuting, flexible hours, or changes to elements of the working environment -- once on the job, it might be more appropriate to discuss accommodations directly with your supervisor. At the very least, don't wait to tell your employer about your disorder until it is too late and your work has suffered. Disclosure done early and in good faith is more likely to be met with a positive response. 
When deciding whether or not to disclose, you will also want to consider how detailed of a description of your disability you wish to provide. SAD is a fairly new psychiatric diagnosis, and many employers may not be familiar with the disorder. If your goal is for your employer and coworkers to have a better understanding of the symptoms that you experience, you may wish to describe SAD and the limitations that it may place on you at work. Doing so may be particularly helpful in the case of SAD, since people may otherwise perceive your anxiety as aloofness or an unwillingness to be a team player. 
It may also be helpful to plan what you are going to say ahead of time. Here is an example of what someone with SAD might say to an employer: "I'd like to inform you about a condition that I have called social anxiety disorder. I have received treatment for SAD, and I'm in recovery. But, I may have bouts of anxiety in performance and social situations during times of stress. I will have a number of physical symptoms of anxiety, such as shaking hands or sweating, during these bouts. Here is the number of my therapist who can provide any information that you might need about my ability to handle the job."​Depending on your situation, you might mention specific accommodations that would help you perform better at work. For those with SAD, these might include writing reports instead of presenting in front of a group, communicating through email instead of in person, or having a private workspace. Ideally, during and after treatment, you should try not to avoid doing these sorts of activities. However, during times of stress or if symptoms reoccur, it is important to have options that allow you to meet your obligations at work. Employers are obliged to grant requests for accommodations unless they can show that it would place undue hardship on them. In the end, it is only you who can decide whether or not to disclose your condition. If you are job-hunting, it may be worth researching companies to see which ones are known for being very accepting of persons with disabilities. If you decide against disclosure, make sure that you have other support in place to help you cope. If you do decide to disclose, know what the job entails, how you can meet those demands, and what accommodations you might need. Most of all, arm yourself with knowledge both about SAD and about your rights in the workplace. Doing so will make it easier for you to cope with SAD while at work


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## jook

*This Information Rocks!!*

Scarpia, this is excellent info!! Thanks so much for posting this. I had no idea there was such a thing. Could you please post where you found this. I'm thrilled!! I feel like a.......like a.....................a dancing banana!!:banana

:thanks


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## tomcoldaba

I told my boss about my SA but only after I had turned in a very strong performance. I told her I could not host a seminar because I start sweating and my voice becomes shaky. This is caused by SA. After telling her, I felt liberated.

If you tell your boss about your SA, you still must perform at a high level, otherwise your boss will think that you are using SA to turn in a poor performance.

Use mindfulness to focus on the task you are doing; do it very well. That will lower your anxiety tremendously. Remember, non SA folks suffer job related stress too. 

Good luck


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## scarpia

jook said:


> Scarpia, this is excellent info!! Thanks so much for posting this. I had no idea there was such a thing. Could you please post where you found this. I'm thrilled!! I feel like a.......like a.....................a dancing banana!!:banana
> 
> :thanks


Here is the link to the page.

http://socialanxietydisorder.about.com/od/sadandworkschool/a/disclosure.htm


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## Positive

tomcoldaba said:


> I told my boss about my SA but only after I had turned in a very strong performance. I told her I could not host a seminar because I start sweating and my voice becomes shaky. This is caused by SA. After telling her, I felt liberated.
> 
> If you tell your boss about your SA, you still must perform at a high level, otherwise your boss will think that you are using SA to turn in a poor performance.
> 
> Use mindfulness to focus on the task you are doing; do it very well. That will lower your anxiety tremendously. Remember, non SA folks suffer job related stress too.
> 
> Good luck


This, I agree.... This is the bravest and best solution. Being able to be frank w/ people you spend most of your day with. =)


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## jook

Thanks again Scarpia.


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## scarpia

You're welcome. I know about it because I'm now having the same issue while trying to find a new job. I may only be able to work part time at this point.


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## Enola

I tend to have some passive/aggressive issues now and it has come up in my reviews but I do make an effort to get along and work with others so in that sense I don't think it has hurt me. Fortunately I don't have to do any presentations or anything like that but I do feel like the SA holds me back tremendously and that I could make more money if I didn't struggle with it.


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## jook

Enola said:


> Fortunately I don't have to do any presentations or anything like that but I do feel like the SA holds me back tremendously and that I could make more money if I didn't struggle with it.


Yeah, I know what you mean. That's certainly one of the frustrations of SA for me. Knowing that I'm much more capable than the types of jobs I've had would indicate. I struggled with this for a long time. Now I just try to accept that my life isn't what I think it should be. It's what it is. Otherwise, the choices are frustration and depression. It's not easy though to maintain that perspective all the time. My spirituality helps me a lot in this case. It helps me to remind myself that my worth was established when G*D created me. Not by the work I do or how much money I make.


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## NicoShy

My social problems have hindered me drastically in my career or lack thereof. The years of medication and counseling have not made a dent in this travesty. Only thing I can do is wake up each day and take the meds I am currently on and schedule more counseling. Its a grueling and miserable existence to feel as though I have squandered my professional and personal life due to circumstances out of my control. I fault the mental healthcare system and the lack of real solutions when it comes to mental illness.


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## RedMan

NicoShy said:


> My social problems have hindered me drastically in my career or lack thereof. .... Its a grueling and miserable existence to feel as though I have squandered my professional and personal life due to circumstances out of my control.


This is so true for me. Its really frustrating and upseting. I've always done well at work. Thankfully my jobs haven't involved much soical interaction with co-workers until recently. I actually turned down a promotion (to take my bosses job) last year because i was terrified of being in the spotlight. I chose to stay where i was instead of taking a promotion and raise out of fear.......... that really blows!

My personal life decisions are fear based also. I tend to find the best situation i can handle easily instead of whats best for me. I'd prefer to stay in a bad job or relationship instead of risk something new that may be better.

Frankly i'm pissed off. i'm now middle aged and look back on much of my life with regrets. I feel like its too late to change now. I feel like i've already missed out on so much in life.


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## NicoShy

RedMan said:


> This is so true for me. Its really frustrating and upseting. I've always done well at work. Thankfully my jobs haven't involved much soical interaction with co-workers until recently. I actually turned down a promotion (to take my bosses job) last year because i was terrified of being in the spotlight. I chose to stay where i was instead of taking a promotion and raise out of fear.......... that really blows!
> 
> My personal life decisions are fear based also. I tend to find the best situation i can handle easily instead of whats best for me. I'd prefer to stay in a bad job or relationship instead of risk something new that may be better.
> 
> Frankly i'm pissed off. i'm now middle aged and look back on much of my life with regrets. I feel like its too late to change now. I feel like i've already missed out on so much in life.


Yes its easy to get into that regret feeling which hinders progression. I actually think if I was good at a job and received credible recognition I would welcome a promotion. But the fact is I do not "exceed standards" at most (all) jobs that I have had. I am usually classified as just average or below average on most evaluations. This made me feel like nothing special and wondering where I belong in a profession.


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## jook

NicoShy said:


> Its a grueling and miserable existence to feel as though I have squandered my professional and personal life due to circumstances out of my control. .


 :agree


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## jook

*I'm not working myself right now. But I'm trying to understand how people with SA who work manage to maintain a job. What is that helps. Is it the type of job you have, environment, the people or something that you do?*


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## NicoShy

jook said:


> *I'm not working myself right now. But I'm trying to understand how people with SA who work manage to maintain a job. What is that helps. Is it the type of job you have, environment, the people or something that you do?*


It may have been you that I responded to before but klonipan helps immensely. Also I have only been here a month and a half so its always good in the beginning. Being good at your job helps and forcing myself not to isolate and keep myself accesible.


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## shyshisho

I went into a career (academic librarianship) which is at least tolerable for someone with SA--though there are still multiple committee meetings to suffer through, coworkers who can rub you the wrong way, vendors to negotiate with, etc.


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## jook

*NICOSHY: How much do you attribute to medication? How difficult would things be for you without medication?*

*SHYSHISHO: I think it does make a difference the type of job you're in and libraries are a good place for people with SA. The longest time I stayed at a job was actually in a library as a library assistant. In fact I took a year in the graduate program towards my master's in librarianship but didn't finish the program.*


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## NicoShy

If I didnt have my klonipan and cymbalta I would be soo moody and paranoid..SO it keeps me employed basically


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## jook

NicoShy said:


> If I didnt have my klonipan and cymbalta I would be soo moody and paranoid..SO it keeps me employed basically


Thanks for the reply, NicoShy. What else are other people doing that helps them stay employed? any personal tips? particular types of therapy? anything?


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## GermanHermit

jook said:


> I'm not working myself right now. But I'm trying to understand how people with SA who work manage to maintain a job. What is that helps. Is it the type of job you have, environment, the people or something that you do?


I managed to go to school for over 13 years.


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## jook

EremitaGermanus said:


> But every time I was able to deal with the strain longer and better...
> 
> One important thing one has to learn IMO is to deal with and bear feeling terrible.


Eremita, thanks for your reply. You are so fortunate in that your experience is not the typical one for people with SA. Atleast not many that I have met. Many people are able to "stay on the horse" but don't experience the reduction in SA that you did over the course of time, even after they have stayed on a job for 20 or 30 years. 

Maybe the success you have mastered comes from something else you said. That is that you have to develop the ability to "deal with and bear feeling terrible." I've only just come to this realization over the last year or so. There is no way around the social anxiety. You simply have to go through it. There is a whole new therapy being built around this (Mindfulness and Acceptance Therapy). You feel all the horrible stuff and just let it be _without_ reacting to it. It's really amazing that you came to this awareness on your own.

Thanks again!


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## LanternLight

I have managed to hold on to work for over 10 years... it's been hard at times and there were a few points along the way when I thought it was just getting too hard but I battled through it and am still there. 

For some reason when I was younger I picked the most social job you could think of!! Sometimes I have to stand in front of hundreds of people and there is always events going on, but to be honest, I don't know what other job I would have done... It is hard though and I wouldn't say I enjoyed going every morning, not really...


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## Enola

I too took jobs in my younger years such as bank teller, drugstore cashier and other various positions that had me out in public. Back then I didn't seem to shy away from so many public events either and I'm not sure why. It seems my anxieties have increased with age and though I can hold down a job I don't find fulfillment in my work and long to do something else like counseling maybe. I have seriously been thinking about returning to school but with the way I put everything off due to my anxieties I'm not sure I can make it happen.


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## jook

LANTERN, and Enola, are either one of you getting any type of therapy? I haven't worked more than 2 years on any job in my life. Most of the time I've only worked a few months at a time.

It really boggles my mind that people are able to tolerate SA everyday for years in the work place. But i guess it depends on how much it effects you. When I've worked I would go home everyday with headaches, couldn't sleep, barely eat. My anxiety did not turn off once I was home. I stayed in a state of anxiety anticipating work the next day. So, I can't imagine people feeling that way everyday for years.

Out of curiosity, on a scale of 1-10 how much anxiety do you experience at work?


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## LanternLight

Hey jook,

Just answering your question  No, I'm not doing or have not done any real therapy. I think I have managed to stay at work all this time because I do have quite a determined personality... even though some days I have walked out of work almost crying (or actually crying). Some days it is still difficult but I have worked so long in the one place I think everyone kind of knows what I'm like now and just accepts it! I still get bad days though - like turning bright red in front of everyone just because someone asked me a simple questions. I stammered out my answer but went even redder because I could feel my face burning up!!

Today at work though it was announced that they were starting up a new social club *groan* so we can all do more stuff together... to me, a social club just spells Anxiety to the max!!!!!

Well, on a scale of 1-10 for anxiety at work I would say an 8 in the morning before I get there but once I'm there it does drop probably down to a 5 or so... depends what's happening really. I'm always the worst in the morning, anticipating what may happen.


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## Amelia

Enola said:


> ...Back then I didn't seem to shy away from so many public events either and I'm not sure why. It seems my anxieties have increased with age and though I can hold down a job I don't find fulfillment in my work and long to do something else...


I'm the same way. I didn't used to have a problem with crowds of people, but will go out of my way to avoid them now. Although I'm still in work, it is only bearable because it involves very little contact with other people.



LanternLight said:


> Today at work though it was announced that they were starting up a new social club *groan* so we can all do more stuff together...


Oh no. Poor you! The idea of organizing more social events outside work was put forward recently at my workplace too. :roll Although I have nothing against my coworkers, I really don't see the point of having to mix with them socially, especially outside work! I just want to work with them, and that's all. Plus, if the workplace isn't naturally relaxed and friendly, but cliquey, social events are artificial and difficult to put up with.


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## jook

LanternLight said:


> Hey jook,
> 
> Well, on a scale of 1-10 for anxiety at work I would say an 8 in the morning before I get there but once I'm there it does drop probably down to a 5 or so... depends what's happening really. I'm always the worst in the morning, anticipating what may happen.


Thanks for answering my question LANTERNLIGHT. 8/10 every day. That's about the same for me although I'm currently not working. To be in that state of anxiety daily for years has to be reeking havoc on the body and body systems.


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## NicoShy

Yes its emotionally draining to see others chattering away but never having that same bond and feeling even more alienated. I constantly wrestle with wanting to quit or give up. Plus worrying if management and coworkers are pleased with me.


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## LanternLight

No worries jook 

_To be in that state of anxiety daily for years has to be reeking havoc on the body and body systems. _

Yes, it can get pretty draining at times but some days are better than others and I always think - well, I'm always better once I get there!!


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## jook

I've recently started looking for work again and just the thought of it has caused me to start feeling depressed. I don't think it's the anxiety that's bothering me so much as the anticipated boredom and drudgery of doing work that is so much less than what I know I'm capable of or passionate about. I love writing more than just about anything in the world. I'm looking into learning how to blog for money. The technical aspects of it all just seem so daunting that I get overwhelmed. But, hopefully I'll be able to use some of what I've learned about mindfulness -- feel the overwhelm but don't get overwhelmed about being overwhelmed. Just acknowledge what I feel and keep moving.

I've actually been applying that to anxiety and depression and have noticed that it helps keep me from getting bogged down in negative emotions. There's a good book out about it for anyone interested. It's called The Mindfulness & Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety and it comes with a CD.

To all the folks braving the storm of the work world daily, you're my heroes


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## hugostigletz

i dont allow myself to give into it, it is difficult,stay away from the situations that r most likely to trigger a panic attack,i cant go in the break room ,i quite smoking nearly 4 months ago,and i am having troub le controlling it i think you never get over it you need to find your own way to deal with it,


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## cebattles

Well; I have been terminated from 4 jobs due to SA; the most recent being just last month on the 24th...so...here we go again. 21 years of working and still struggling. I wish there were a magic solution, but the main advice I would give but haven't taken is, don't work with the public!

Christy


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## Maninthebox84

I hate lunch time. I leave my lunch in the car for hours in the heat and eat it there so I don't have to sit alone in the break room or be seen eating. Sometimes I use the microwave and then take the meal to the car. I can't relax until I'm in the car. I also **** a lot more at work than I do at home. And this job doesn't even require interacting with others much. I can't imagine what it would be if I had a job with phone calls, meetings or presentations. I am unhappy but at the same time I prefer being where I am doing what I do and getting payed the least out of everyone and not stressing out.


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## peanutbutter

Yeah...I like what I do. But working in an open office with a desk on the isle in the middle of the room doesn't do my anxiety any good. So far the people in my office seem pretty nice, but I worry a lot about how I'm perceived, so I'd prefer to be in a corner somewhere or in another office by myself so I wouldn't have to deal with the social stress. High walled cubicles would even be a better idea...


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## soulstorm

NicoShy said:


> Yes its emotionally draining to see others chattering away but never having that same bond and feeling even more alienated. I constantly wrestle with wanting to quit or give up. Plus worrying if management and coworkers are pleased with me.


I feel the same way. I've got to go to work tonight and my heart rate is already elevated. I don't know how much longer I can cope, although I've been working in my profession for over 10 years. One of the reasons is that my job can be very unpredictable, maybe I should change careers, but that would take an awful amount of time and money. :blank


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## flapban

I'm off 'sick' today because there is a team lunch. I use my sick days to avoid social situations, and go to work when I am actually sick. 

I get so frustrated because I just want to work. I interact with people perfectly fine in regards to work stuff but I don't want to go out with my team for lunch, for drinks, sit in the lunch room with people... I'm just there to DO MY JOB

the problem with my workplace is that they think social activities create engagement with the company. Hell, I'd say its a problem with work in general. Just because people eat together doesnt mean they are working harder.

I sit at my desk and work solidly for my 8 hours a day, and I know more than anyone else about what we do, and I solve really complex problems/give good service to other departments.. but my boss "Doesnt know what to do with me, because im quiet and nervous"

He wants to change team meetings so that we talk about ourselves. He wants us to have lunch once a week. The rest of the team go out to movies together, raves, hell the whole department has lunch together once a week...

I just want to do my job and be left alone. My work rate is higher than the social guys, but when push comes to shove... the company seems to want these people who are less productive but more sociable

drives me insane!


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## thissucks8l

*Second day calling out of work - just joined yesterday*

Hey everyone 

I feel awful because I just called out of work for the second day in a row. Im sure you all are familiar with all the emotions and thoughts that come along with this. I feel guilty, looked down on, worthless, crazy, not good enough... all that jazz. I just wish there were a solution out there. 
I have had extremely severe anxiety since high school, but have dealt with it my entire life. Ive seen a few psychologists & therapists - but nothing seems to have a lasting effect with me. I absolutely loath the idea of taking a medication daily (please no offense to anyone that does, I just dont WANT to). 
Driving to work daily is guaranteed anxiety, so Ive learned to "get used to it"; its just a part of my morning. But sometimes, when work gets filled with too much animosity around the office & the boss is screaming at his technicians, I go home that day, and find it close to impossible to return the following day. That following morning (aka yesterday & this morning) I wake up and literally have a panic attack immediately; hyperventilating, crying uncontrollably, thoughts racing absolutely wild to where I cannot even finish a thought before another one comes along to interrupt it. Ive been so helpless lately, thinking I must be incapable of holding a normal job. Its not a feeling that I think helps this anxiety, at all. 
Is there anything else we can do other than breathing techniques & thought zapping to combat an attack after its already started?

PS - finding this community was the most comforting thing yesterday. Reading through everyone else's posts actually made me feel better & realize I wasnt alone. So kudos to all of you - just FYI - YOU'RE MAKING A DIFFERENCE <3


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## twitchy666

*Turning off SA is such a guide!*

My flip-point tends to get me aggressive by mirroring people who are

Assertiveness might go well

I can act but it's hard to make it the way they want


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## riderless

My main issue is work. Like to put it down simply to SA but only part of the problem.
My main motivation to work is creature comforts. It gets me out of bed and into work every day. I don't want to be poor again. The price I pay is grumpy mood at home and other places like here.

It's a choice you have to make. Do you want to have financial independence or not? I do and therefore put up with stress everyday.


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