# Having a boyfriend/girlfriend



## Ricebunnyx3

Do you have one?
If not, do you constantly think about having one?
I don't have one and I definitely always think about having one. It makes me feel pathetic, but I definitely want a relationship with a guy. But that'll never happen. Especially with my awkwardness and lack of conversation skills. My crush sat next to me last week and tried to have a conversation with me and I really tried to keep it going but at one point I just stopped talking and couldn't say a word (idk what happened) but thankfully his ex-gf walked over and took over.


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## daniel1989

Work on getting rid of your SA first then ask someone out.


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## JamieHasAnxiety

daniel1989 said:


> Work on getting rid of your SA first then ask someone out.


I've had a gf for 4 years, we broke up recently though, it was mutual. I still had SA when we were together, and now its almost gone.

So yeah, its all about your ability to put it aside for a moment to get to know someone you think might be special.

And to OP, yes, I always think about getting another gf or something of the sort. =s


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## Properties

*You beat me in terms of creating a thread of the same sort. This is exactly what has been consuming my thoughts lately. I try convincing myself that it will eventually happen and that I will meet the girl that completes me but I understand your frustrations - as I share the same ones.

Its also been very difficult because I happen to notice all the couples and people kissing and holding hands in public...:afr We must stay strong though, we'll eventually meet our perfect match 

~Properties
*


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## d93

Never had a girlfriend. Doubt I'll get one. 

I'm too shy and nervous. 

I would love to have a girlfriend.


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## Salus

Yes I have a bf. We have been together for over 3 years now. In highschool I was no good with boys but after I left school I became a bit better and had a few boyfriends, then when I was 19 I met the man I'm still currently with.

All I can suggest for you is that when you talk to your crush just pretend like he's your brother or something if you want to come of as normal lol... and then after a while youll hopefully feel more comfy talking to him and then the flirting can begin... bow chicka bow wow


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## JamieHasAnxiety

mimcofied said:


> Yes I have a bf. We have been together for over 3 years now. In highschool I was no good with boys but after I left school I became a bit better and had a few boyfriends, then when I was 19 I met the man I'm still currently with.
> 
> All I can suggest for you is that when you talk to your crush just pretend like he's your brother or something if you want to come of as normal lol... and then after a while youll hopefully feel more comfy talking to him and then the flirting can begin... bow chicka bow wow


Totally made me laugh in real life, your funny! xP


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## Blujay13

I do not have a boyfriend. I'd be lying if I said it doesn't bother me sometimes, but rarely.

I honestly don't think about it a lot and don't even really care. Yeah I do have a crush but it's never going to happen lol. I don't know if I'll ever have a relationship but if it's meant to happen, it'll happen one way or another.

I have bigger things on my mind to worry about right now. I mean yeah it'd be great to have a boyfriend but since I know it's not really going to happen it's not relevant to my problems. 

Although my friend keeps talking to me about her boyfriend issues and how she just got a new one...Reminds me how lonely I am =\.


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## joe11

Probably the thing that consumes my mind the most. Never had one, can't imagine it happening anytime and certainly not in the short term. Never even had a distant female friend or anything. Loneliness is the biggest thing that depresses me at the moment.

Also seeing loads of people having one everywhere I go, certainly doesn't make me feel any better.


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## Chris16

I crush very easily and always think I would like a relationship. Then I think about what it actually entails and change my mind.


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## Ricebunnyx3

Properties said:


> *You beat me in terms of creating a thread of the same sort. This is exactly what has been consuming my thoughts lately. I try convincing myself that it will eventually happen and that I will meet the girl that completes me but I understand your frustrations - as I share the same ones.
> 
> Its also been very difficult because I happen to notice all the couples and people kissing and holding hands in public...:afr We must stay strong though, we'll eventually meet our perfect match
> 
> ~Properties
> *


It'd been consuming my mind too! lol, no one made one so I was like what the heck


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## Ricebunnyx3

mimcofied said:


> Yes I have a bf. We have been together for over 3 years now. In highschool I was no good with boys but after I left school I became a bit better and had a few boyfriends, then when I was 19 I met the man I'm still currently with.
> 
> All I can suggest for you is that when you talk to your crush just pretend like he's your brother or something if you want to come of as normal lol... and then after a while youll hopefully feel more comfy talking to him and then the flirting can begin... bow chicka bow wow


lmao my brother. Well that would probably mean me picking on him and then us talking about pokemon or something equally as nerdy lol. I wish I could see him that way... it's hard to imagine having a brother who is hot, sweet, ...basically amazing. and TBH, idk how to flirt lol.


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## Pangur Ban

Ricebunnyx3 said:


> lmao my brother. Well that would probably mean me picking on him and then us talking about pokemon or something equally as nerdy lol. I wish I could see him that way... it's hard to imagine having a brother who is hot, sweet, ...basically amazing. and TBH, idk how to flirt lol.


Flirting comes naturally.


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## ak2218

I was in a few relationships but they didnt turn out as Id like them too, nowadays going into one scares the hell out of me. I just dont think I can make the commitment anymore. Im just mainly focused on getting better and then possibly making a move.


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## BetaBoy90

Once the hormones settle down and you get out of highschool assuming you don't already have a BF then you're oppurtunities will open up in the relationship category. Just can't think it won't happen or you basically go into any good oppurtunity already writing it off. I've been there and done that.


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## noyadefleur

I don't have a boyfriend, and I never have.

It seems all so easy for other people, and such a common thing. That just makes me feel all the more pathetic.


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## BetaBoy90

^
You'll get one in time, I don't even have any doubts about that. Hopefully you don't get so down on yourself for it, 15 is still pretty young. I'm 21 and haven't had an official GF before and I still feel quite young too, although I think I'm starting to get grey hairs.....


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## noyadefleur

BetaBoy90 said:


> ^
> You'll get one in time, I don't even have any doubts about that. Hopefully you don't get so down on yourself for it, 15 is still pretty young. I'm 21 and haven't had an official GF before and I still feel quite young too, although I think I'm starting to get grey hairs.....


Yeah, I have to agree there. We're both still young, and there's still time, but I just don't see myself as appealing which is why I have doubts about myself in the future. xD

Aside from this though, I just wish it was as easy for me as it was for everyone else to converse. :s


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## d93

uncategorizedme said:


> I don't have a boyfriend, and I never have.
> 
> It seems all so easy for other people, and such a common thing. That just makes me feel all the more pathetic.


I'm surprised that you haven't had a boyfriend. You're very pretty. But I find it doubtful for me getting a girlfriend, because I find it really hard to talk to girls.


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## Ricebunnyx3

uncategorizedme said:


> Yeah, I have to agree there. We're both still young, and there's still time, but I just don't see myself as appealing which is why I have doubts about myself in the future. xD
> 
> Aside from this though, I just wish it was as easy for me as it was for everyone else to converse. :s


You guys feel young? I've felt old since I turned 16. I don't see myself as appealing either. I look old, people mistake me for like 23 or something. And I don't understand how people just talk. Sometimes I listen to people talk in fascination like how do they keep it going like that lol.

The funny thing is I kind of hate falling in love (the first and last time was when I was in 7th grade. From then on I've just had little crushes). I want someone to fall in love with me first. But like, actually like me, because basically my whole life guys tried to take advantage of me, but when I didn't give them what they wanted, they'd just leave me and never talk to me again, making me feel like complete and utter sh*t.


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## Ricebunnyx3

d93 said:


> I'm surprised that you haven't had a boyfriend. You're very pretty. But I find it doubtful for me getting a girlfriend, because I find it really hard to talk to girls.


I can't talk to guys. I'm 17 and can't talk to guys! lol. looks like we're in the same boat, mate.


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## d93

Ricebunnyx3 said:


> I can't talk to guys. I'm 17 and can't talk to guys! lol. looks like we're in the same boat, mate.


Looks like we are lol!


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## noyadefleur

d93 said:


> I'm surprised that you haven't had a boyfriend. You're very pretty. But I find it doubtful for me getting a girlfriend, because I find it really hard to talk to girls.


:blush Aw, thank you. But I guess what it really comes down to is there are more attractive and outgoing girls at my school that are more appealing to most guys. I find it difficult to talk to anyone that I don't know too well really, I'm always afraid of saying the wrong thing, so I get how you feel there.


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## noyadefleur

Ricebunnyx3 said:


> You guys feel young? I've felt old since I turned 16. I don't see myself as appealing either. I look old, people mistake me for like 23 or something. And I don't understand how people just talk. Sometimes I listen to people talk in fascination like how do they keep it going like that lol.
> 
> The funny thing is I kind of hate falling in love (the first and last time was when I was in 7th grade. From then on I've just had little crushes). I want someone to fall in love with me first. But like, actually like me, because basically my whole life guys tried to take advantage of me, but when I didn't give them what they wanted, they'd just leave me and never talk to me again, making me feel like complete and utter sh*t.


Yeah to be honest I do feel pretty young still. I know I still have a lot of life ahead of me. I've been told I'm mature for my age, but I know I'm still only 15. I get what you mean about being fascinated with how people converse, I do that often myself. It's funny because all the conversations I pick up on at my school seem so relaxed and it flows easily but when I have conversations with people it's all so planned and thought out, on my part at least.


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## Ricebunnyx3

uncategorizedme said:


> Yeah to be honest I do feel pretty young still. I know I still have a lot of life ahead of me. I've been told I'm mature for my age, but I know I'm still only 15. I get what you mean about being fascinated with how people converse, I do that often myself. It's funny because all the conversations I pick up on at my school seem so relaxed and it flows easily but when I have conversations with people it's all so planned and thought out, on my part at least.


I definitely plan out my conversations. Normally I plan them in my head while I'm talking it's some tough multitasking and doesn't always work. 
But I used to actually plan them out. Like before calling someone I'd write down a whole bunch of things to talk about. And I used to day dream/ night dream? lol, about potential conversations I'd have but those conversations never happened.


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## d93

uncategorizedme said:


> :blush Aw, thank you. But I guess what it really comes down to is there are more attractive and outgoing girls at my school that are more appealing to most guys. I find it difficult to talk to anyone that I don't know too well really, I'm always afraid of saying the wrong thing, so I get how you feel there.


I have very low self esteem. And confidence..well my I don't have confidence in myself. I have always had trouble looking at people in the eyes, when I'm talking to them. I always look at them quickly, then look at something else. Weird I know lol.


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## noyadefleur

d93 said:


> I have very low self esteem. And confidence..well my I don't have confidence in myself. I have always had trouble looking at people in the eyes, when I'm talking to them. I always look at them quickly, then look at something else. Weird I know lol.


It's not that weird, I do that also. I feel like if I see them looking in my eyes they're staring at all of my insecurities.


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## noyadefleur

Ricebunnyx3 said:


> I definitely plan out my conversations. Normally I plan them in my head while I'm talking it's some tough multitasking and doesn't always work.
> But I used to actually plan them out. Like before calling someone I'd write down a whole bunch of things to talk about. And I used to day dream/ night dream? lol, about potential conversations I'd have but those conversations never happened.


Haha! I do that also, like planning out potential conversations which never happen, I can't tell you how often I do that. xD


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## Donnie in the Dark

Graghh so difficult to engage with girls I,like.

Seriously, I have like nearly 10 friends that are girls, but I ignore my crushes, as their radiance intimidates me into a miserable silence. She must think I am a rude, boring (probs accurate) person.

Like Rice Bunny I want someone to fall for me first and make the move when i go to uni (and then we have an amazing, deep connection that is both passionate and resilient!)


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## Ricebunnyx3

Donnie in the Dark said:


> Graghh so difficult to engage with girls I,like.
> 
> Seriously, I have like nearly 10 friends that are girls, but I ignore my crushes, as their radiance intimidates me into a miserable silence. She must think I am a rude, boring (probs accurate) person.
> 
> Like Rice Bunny I want someone to fall for me first and make the move when i go to uni (and then we have an amazing, deep connection that is both passionate and resilient!)


Wow, I only have one friend of the opposite sex, and he's gay.


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## Lasair

I have boy-friends, one of whom is gay, the other I'v had a relationship with...

I don't care about being in a relationship really


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## notna

Yes I do wish I had one.


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## thewalkindude

Ricebunnyx3 said:


> Do you have one?
> If not, do you constantly think about having one?
> I don't have one and I definitely always think about having one. It makes me feel pathetic, but I definitely want a relationship with a guy. But that'll never happen. Especially with my awkwardness and lack of conversation skills. My crush sat next to me last week and tried to have a conversation with me and I really tried to keep it going but at one point I just stopped talking and couldn't say a word (idk what happened) but thankfully his ex-gf walked over and took over.


I constantly think about finding a gf, but I never have oppurtunities to meet women partially due to SA.


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## kunak

dont have one and it doesnt really bother me


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## atticusfinch

i think having a bf will just heighten my anxiety...well, depends on the person.


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## Cruella

Never had a boyfriend and most of the time I don't care and think when it happens, it happens, but I won't look for one just to have one.
But tbh I'm in one of these periods again where I really really want to have a relationship. I don't know anything about it and my best friend doesn't have any experience either and she is the only one I talk or write with constantly but not about stuff like that. This topic totally scares me a lot. I think I want a relationship because I want to feel this loving and being loved back. But when I think about it, it seems impossible! I mean I always dream about being with someone and blah but if it would actually happen...that's just impossible. I always had crushes on guys at school but I couldn't even talk to guys back then. It's better now but if I would talk to someone I like that way I would just stumble stupid things or don't say anything.
It just feels so far away... but hey, I'm 20, and yes I also still feel young (well, at least at the moment lol)


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## NmE

I just get so worried sometimes thinking 'what if I never get a girlfriend, I don't want to be alone my entire life >.<' , sucks to have such bad SA :S


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## KuroiKuma

For me I kind of think differently according to how I am feeling. Sometimes I think I am going nuts and need somebody to hug or something and wish I had a girlfriend. Other times I think I am fine and could stay single for like years. 

Speaking of old when I first met my psychiatrist he ask me how old I was. I said "17" at the time because I was 17, and then he said "If you didn't tell me I would of thought you were in your 20s like a 27 year old from the way you speak and describe events". I was a bit shocked.


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## Rocklee96

Never had one. I just can't talk to girls. I'm currently crushing hard on this uber cute girl in my Italian class, and she is really nice and we have a lot in common, but I just can't muster up the courage to talk to her.


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## metallica2147

I get crushes every now and then, and then I think about what it'd actually be like for me and I laugh at the idea. There's no way I could have one the way I am. I do feel lonely at times (most of the time). It'd be nice but I don't think it'd happen. Ever.


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## RedRobyn

Even if I had the confidence to talk to a girl and eventually ask her out, I would be scared if she found out I had no friends. Even talking to a person regardless of gender can be tough.


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## thewall

yes, i have a boyfriend. i met him on SAS and i think that is the only way it could have ever happened for me. i definitely used to think i would be alone forever, but sometimes life just happens.


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## crimsoncora

How do you know?

If i dated a guy and he had no friends i wouldnt care, because an dating him not his social life or lack there of


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## sociallyretarded

I've never had a boyfriend before, I don't think I'll get one until I go to university because it's unlikely that I'll meet a guy I like before I graduate. It's sad, but sometimes I wonder what it'd be like to have one, or to even have someone ask me out. But I don't think about it that often, because lol, I'm a bit afraid of committing to someone. Not because I'll go and ***** myself out, but I've been, I guess, independent for so long I wouldn't know how to share my life with someone else.


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## sammi179

I understand. You feel completely worthless. You say something to someone then later your thinking, "why did I say that". I always wonder if I'll ever grow out of it or not because I don't think I can live my whole life like this. Does anyone ever wonder if they will ever get married? Because I feel if I can't talk to guys now, what will it be like once I leave high school and go to college.


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## chocoandhunter

I am almost always thinking about it. I want a boyfriend iv'e only really officially had one and it didn't go well. I don't know why anyone would like me though so thats something I personally have to get over is having a little bit more confidence in myself because if you dont like yourself no one can. But it really does suck seeing how its so easy for everyone else and i wounder why is it so hard for me uk? but w.e i have to get over that


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## GenoWhirl

Well, well, well I think I have found new posting paradise. Finally a place to discuss the feelings I go through with others that relate but enough with that for now and on to the point of this thread.

In the terms of having a relationship or girlfriend, I've never had one and I'm 17 going to be 18 on the 28th of this month. Do I care about this fact? Sure it's always there at the back of my mind but slowly shifts it's way forward to being what I think about in sheer loneliness but then I do other stuff and shake it away. I think the wrost thing though for people who can relate is seeing all of the "happy" couples at schools or other places and just wishing you could experience the same and well thats the only other time it crosses my mind.

But due to my own isolation I don't try to meet new people or even socialize with other students at my school other than my 4 close circle of friends. I don't put myself out there obviously due to fear but since it's in my comfort zone why leave? I've always looked at this way high school dating is one of the biggest jokes ever I mean it's all based on ego materialism and certify your "cool" or "hip" status just because you can. To me I'm still young and have plenty of time to find that "special someone" but you always have your sad days where you think negatively about how scared of other people and how you will never change and as a result of that won't find love ever. 

Believe me I have quite a few of those day especially this year where my anxiety is at it's absolute worst but again it's only if you think about it and let it bother you which at times most of us can't help but contemplate.


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