# What do women mean by the term "loser"?



## aloneanddizzy (Jul 1, 2012)

So often I hear women saying things like they "don't want to date a loser", etc. That word "loser" always bugs me, because I don't know quite what women mean when they describe a guy using that word. In fact it often sounds to me like the term has no real meaning other than to describe someone the woman doesn't like, which would make "I don't date losers" a phrase that is essentially devoid of any meaning beyond "I don't date guys I don't like."

If, on the other hand, the term is usually being used by women to describe some specific, concrete aspect(s) of guys, then I'd very much like to understand what specific aspects those are. I mean, no guy living in the real world can possibly win all the time at everything he is involved in, so that would suggest that all guys are fundamentally "losers" at various times.

(I'm fixating on how women use the term because I almost never hear guys describing women as "losers" … to me, the term seems to have a rather specialized use for how women view men.)


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## EZRAT (Jun 17, 2011)

A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly
And is also known as a buster
Always talkin' about what he wants
And just sits on his broke ***
So (no)

I don't want your number (no)
I don't want to give you mine and (no)
I don't want to meet you nowhere (no)
I don't want none of your time and (no)

[Chorus:]
I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
Hanging out the passenger side
Of his best friend's ride
Trying to holler at me
I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
Hanging out the passenger side
Of his best friend's ride
Trying to holler at me

But a scrub is checkin' me
But his game is kinda weak
And I know that he cannot approach me
Cuz I'm lookin' like class and he's lookin' like trash
Can't get wit' no deadbeat ***
So (no)

I don't want your number (no)
I don't want to give you mine and (no)
I don't want to meet you nowhere (no)
I don't want none of your time (no)

[Chorus]

If you don't have a car and you're walking
Oh yes son I'm talking to you
If you live at home wit' your momma
Oh yes son I'm talking to you (baby)
If you have a shorty but you don't show love
Oh yes son I'm talking to you
Wanna get with me with no money
Oh no I don't want no (oh)

No scrub
No scrub (no no)
No scrub (no no no no no)
No scrub (no no)
No


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## TrcyMcgrdy1 (Oct 21, 2011)

^ ****aaaaa, I was literally gonna do that! Cuz a loser is a guy who aint got a car, a house, and money, is ugly, has no eprsonality or confidence, and has a small penis, and dresses like a hobo, and doesn't keep himself clean, and has one foot, and four fingers, and one tesicle.


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## aloneanddizzy (Jul 1, 2012)

Well, I'm pretty sure that laundry list of faults hardly describes any guy out there, much less the large subset of the male population who women often dismiss as undateable because they are "losers". So I'm still looking for an answer.


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## Cashew (May 30, 2010)

Most women around me think of losers as adult men who don't contribute anything (work, chores, etc), mooch off others, and don't have a likeable personality. Also being a drug addict.


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## Aribeth (Jan 14, 2012)

Extroverts


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## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

EZRAT said:


> A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly
> And is also known as a buster
> Always talkin' about what he wants
> And just sits on his broke ***
> ...


Man I hate that song.


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## aloneanddizzy (Jul 1, 2012)

Witan said:


> Man I hate that song.


:ditto

On the original topic, I've seen the word "loser" used several times today on different threads here on SAS. And the usage has seemed to vary from most of what has been mentioned here (at least in one case, it singled out guys who can't convince women to sleep with them). It appears to me that women just use this term as a catch-all for whatever flaw happens to be irritating them about one particular type of man at one particular moment.

If true, this is probably why the term gets under my skin so much when used in a statement like "I don't want to date a loser." If the complaints were more specific, like "I don't want to date a poor/ugly/dizzy guy", I'd be fine with it, but just hearing the generic moniker "loser" heaped on guys for whatever happens to be the annoyance du jour feels to me like a blanket dismissal that is akin to how some guys toss around the B word for women who they are irritated with (which is something I imagine women don't like either).

Now, isn't it about time for some female SAS member to call me a loser because of this thread? opcorn


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## plsgr (Jul 19, 2012)

Someone who doesn't have goals in life. Someone who pulls you down instead of making you into a better person. Someone who is a liability. Someone who has bad manners and doesn't respect others decisions. 

A "loser" is not necessarily someone that's poor or ugly or can't afford a car. I mean, it's not his fault that he was born ugly or born in a poor family. And what if he has strong worth ethics, tries hard, but still struggles to pay his bills? Doesn't sound like a loser to me.


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## aloneanddizzy (Jul 1, 2012)

plsgr said:


> Someone who doesn't have goals in life. Someone who pulls you down instead of making you into a better person. Someone who is a liability. Someone who has bad manners and doesn't respect others decisions.
> 
> A "loser" is not necessarily someone that's poor or ugly or can't afford a car. I mean, it's not his fault that he was born ugly or born in a poor family. And what if he has strong worth ethics, tries hard, but still struggles to pay his bills? Doesn't sound like a loser to me.


I like your definitions. I'm not sure many women define the term in the same way you do, but I'd like it if they did.


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## Luka92 (Dec 13, 2011)

I hate that word so much.


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## Grimsey (Apr 21, 2012)

I'm getting the feeling from this thread that reliable cash flow is a significant factor. Geez, whatever happened to love.


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

Calling a guy a loser is much easier than weighing the good against the bad...so it's just a blanket statement made towards someone they don't like.


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## BKrakow (Jul 8, 2010)

it means different things to different women. for me, it's a guy who isn't going to treat me right, has nothing going for him (doesn't necessarily have to be ballin' but should have some interests and hobbies at least), and basically just isn't worth my time of day.


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## Fawnhearted (Jul 24, 2012)

jsgt said:


> Calling a guy a loser is much easier than weighing the good against the bad...so it's just a blanket statement made towards someone they don't like.


This. Loser originally had its own meaning but it's more often used just to describe someone you don't like, same as words like pathetic.


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## successful (Mar 21, 2009)

-Mean all the time.
-Introverted.
-Don't own a car.
-Not good looking enough.
-Not popular enough.


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## blue the puppy (Jul 23, 2011)

if i say loser, its a guy who doesn't treat women well, doesn't have respect for others in general, and has no goals or motivation in life.


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## T-Bone (Oct 1, 2010)

TrcyMcgrdy1 said:


> ^ ****aaaaa, I was literally gonna do that! Cuz a loser is a guy who aint got a car, a house, and money, is ugly, has no eprsonality or confidence, and has a small penis, and dresses like a hobo, and doesn't keep himself clean, and has one foot, and four fingers, and one tesicle.


Looks like i'm screwed.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Generally it's said by immature young women with no brain cells.

Occasionally, it's used by intelligent women to mean actual losers...like abusive, jerks, douchebags, no future...

But generally, it just is said by immature women, and can apply to anybody they find unattractive.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

If someone's not interested in a person for whatever reason, that's fine. What I don't understand is why people feel the need to demean that person and put them down by making sure everyone knows what an undateable loser they think he is.

Human nature can be so disappointing and depressing.


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## CeilingStarer (Dec 29, 2009)

It's a stupid blanket term, and is going to be relative to the woman using it. i.e. a minimum wage, nice guy, with no life goals but to enjoy each day will be a "loser" to a professional, career-driven women (who likes to throw the "loser" term around)... even though he's certainly not a "Scrub" by the song definition above.


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## Cletis (Oct 10, 2011)

High School girls would say a "loser" is a nerdy guy, unattractive, too skinny or too fat, unathletic, glasses, short, etc. Pretty much basing everything on his looks/image.

Adult women would define a "loser" as a guy with no job or a low-paying job, no place, car, etc. No education or money in the bank. Looks aren't as important here but still count. Status and money are more important. They're looking for "husband material", a guy that can support them and a family. Someone who will treat them right.


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## aloneanddizzy (Jul 1, 2012)

Cletis said:


> High School girls would say a "loser" is a nerdy guy, unattractive, too skinny or too fat, unathletic, glasses, short, etc. Pretty much basing everything on his looks/image.
> 
> Adult women would define a "loser" as a guy with no job or a low-paying job, no place, car, etc. No education or money in the bank. Looks aren't as important here but still count. Status and money are more important. They're looking for "husband material", a guy that can support them and a family. Someone who will treat them right.


I'd probably amend the first paragraph to say "Immature girls" rather than "High school girls", because I've heard more than one woman who is supposed to be an adult still clearly using the term primarily in the appearance/image sense.


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## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

andreiuca said:


> Extroverts


Oh, you just jelly! and full of so much hate

Suck it up, princess!


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## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

I was a loser about three years ago.

Sleeping around, drinking most days of the week, just partying, working in a dead end job, no qualifications, immature, self-obsessed, moody.

Turned that **** around!


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## typemismatch (May 30, 2012)

What do women mean by the term "loser"?

Hold on til I look up the women's english dictionary.


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## aloneanddizzy (Jul 1, 2012)

typemismatch said:


> What do women mean by the term "loser"?
> 
> Hold on til I look up the women's english dictionary.


Let me know where I can order a copy of that for my own reference as well, please.


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## Pilotprincess (Aug 6, 2012)

The word "loser" can be used to joke about yourself or your friends, sure. However, when the term is used by different people it has a different meaning than, "The loser of this wallet will hopefully claim it." In my opinion, a loser is always a criminal, violent, lazy, unambitious, and greasy men (which often comes with chosen poverty though real men, rich or poor will not mooch off a woman). These parasites often look for women who they think will be desperate and insecure enough about their looks to snatch up an opportunity to have a boyfriend to do fun things with. Looks and how women see their own looks often distorts what they really deserve in a give and take romance. The Loser, a bull**** artist, will glom on because he has his meal ticket and knows she will front him a comfortable lifestyle. He thinks she will put up with his loser *** just to not have to be alone. As mentioned, the only thinking this loser with his low IQ is capable of is lying and cheating as a means to earn a living, a criminal in other words. As a result the loser gets his ducks in a row, gets a job and puts on an bogus act of compassion and a strong work ethic. In reality by coming into a relationship with a job and some money, his only motivation is to look appealing enough to worm his way into your, home, food and money. The hopeful woman, so happily, let's him move in. He moves in and while working still, he does lot of lot of he undesirable chores around the house just to ingratiate himself enough slime his bum *** in. Once he feels like he is set, the household chores, financial assistance, and job hours get less and less. He then is unemployed and his job becomes lying his fat-*** on the couch and watching TV with a 12-pack and shows no initiative to rectify his situation. He just gets pissed off at the woman, berates her and hits her for calling this turd a turd. This is a loser and stay away from them and give them what they deserve, nothing!


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## TheTruthIsOutThere (Apr 10, 2012)

Just Lurking said:


> If someone's not interested in a person for whatever reason, that's fine. What I don't understand is why people feel the need to demean that person and put them down by making sure everyone knows what an undateable loser they think he is.
> 
> Human nature can be so disappointing and depressing.


aint that the truth..


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

I said it about a guy who had no courage to say like things are.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Someone that's still living with their momma and doesn't have a good stable financial future.


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