# Women: Do you prefer a sensitive man or manly man?



## Lifetimer

I came across this article today http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=1754631 and it got me really curious. As the article suggests, feminists lead us to believe women want a sensitive guy. However, the author of the book in the article says women want a manly man.

So women, be honest. Do you more prefer a sensitive man or manly man? Don't take the easy way out and say "both". If you just HAD to pick one then which would it be?

Lifetimer


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## UltraShy

I think women send mixed messages. "I want a man who can express his emotions" they might say, but they wouldn't be thrilled with some "sissy boy" who cries.

They say they want sensitive, but get all hot over a rugged Harley rider (a man who's hobbies include watching football, drinking beer, and farting).


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## Zephyr

They want manly men.


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## RX2000

Like with most other things with women, they want it both ways. They want a manly man AND a sensitive man. Lucky for me I'm both! Hehehee. :lol

But seriously, I think this is definitely a difference between men and women. Women want their men to be like both sexes, whereas you NEVER meet a guy who says they want a manly woman. :lol


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## nothing to fear

I don't know. It's not like men are either manly OR sensitive. I guess so-called "senstive" types are less intimidating, so I chose that option.


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## archaic

I can't really pick between the two! I do like guys who are sensitive and appreciate the things that I do, very much. But I also like...I don't know, the ruggedness of beards? So really, that's about all the manliness a guy needs, as far as I'm concerned. Grow a beard and cry on my shoulder!


"Women want their men to be like both sexes, whereas you NEVER meet a guy who says they want a manly woman."
I think it's just that not all women are into extremes and they can handle a person who doesn't meet up with the standards of his/her gender. And it's not that anyone wants "womanly men." I think it's just being open to changing stereotypical gender characteristics, being okay with someone who challenges/strays from them.


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## GraceLikeRain

There is nothing wrong with guys who cry.


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## Bon

A manly man that knows when to be/and it's OK to be sensitive.


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## Urkidding

opcorn


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## Drella

Manly men completely repel me. I repel them (well, _all_ men, so.. )

I want a man that doesn't mind being a lady.


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## Amande

^ Yes.


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## suppressed

realspark said:


> A manly man that knows when to be/and it's OK to be sensitive.


 yup I second that !



Becky said:


> WalkbyFaith said:
> 
> 
> 
> There is nothing wrong with guys who cry.
> 
> 
> 
> That's true :yes whenever my husband starts crying I make fun of him :evil
Click to expand...

 omg :lol.. I could never think or do anything when my husband cryed because it just put me into a state of "shock " ... .. I'm like aghhH!! stop it !! what are you doing ? !! your scaring me !!!! :haha


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## RX2000

I've only cried one time the whole time I've been with my fiancee, and that was when I had to leave her in the bus station to return here to the States.


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## whiteclouds

I want a man who is so manly that he trys to picks fights with strangers on the streets. And he must be so sensitive that he crys whenever someone agrees to fight him.


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## Zephyr

whiteclouds said:


> I want a man who is so manly that he trys to picks fights with strangers on the streets. And he must be so sensitive that he crys whenever someone agrees to fight him.


Well good luck trying to find that...


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## ghostgurl

I like the sensitive men better.


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## rusalka

I want both


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## Melusine

Both, but prefer him to be sensitive, than the more macho beer guzzling, football-watching type. Not at ALL attracted to really sporty men...I like men who like nature, sensitive to the arts, aren't afraid to express themselves, and are adventurous.


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## clenched_fist

realspark said:


> A manly man that knows when to be/and it's OK to be sensitive.


 :agree


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## Vincenzo

The question is, which one is _more important_? To which the answer is, of course, manliness. I'd venture that the majority vote for 'sensitive' (who'd have thought it??) was about women making the 'PC' choice.


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## OnyxHeart

I for one find the feminization of the American male disturbing. Case in point:


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## Nyx

I'm sensitive enough for us both.


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## OnyxHeart

...


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## popeet

...


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## missnat84

My bf is sensitive,i think it's a cute quality in a guy.


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## Lifetimer

Vincenzo Coccotti said:


> The question is, which one is _more important_? To which the answer is, of course, manliness. I'd venture that the majority vote for 'sensitive' (who'd have thought it??) was about women making the 'PC' choice.


 :agree

Vincenzo, I totally agree. I believe women THINK they want a sensitive man but when it comes down to it, in reality, they want a manly man - a real man. The author of the book "Manliness" (mentioned in the article) suggests that women really want men who embrace their manliness, someone who can provide and care for the family, rather than a person who is more sensitive.

I had read another article about this very subject and here is an excerpt from that article (a different article from the link I posted earlier): "Despite all the talk about women being 'liberated', 'modern', 'feminist', or supposedly 'complicated', the essential things women seem to find attractive in men haven't really changed in the last 500 years. Of course women don't want to be treated like prized cattle anymore - who does? All the same, women still like their guys to behave like men, not women with 'five o'clock shadows'. After all, that's what they have girlfriends for - to gossip, commiserate with, etc.". So even if women say they want a sensitive guy, I believe what this article equates to me is that women want a man - not a girly guy. I think in reality women would prefer a man to act like a man.

The author of the book goes on to say then says that manliness has been hijacked by feminism and advocates of gender-neutral society. He says, "We're losing the contribution manly men can make, and we're confusing women and men, who don't quite know what to do about manliness." I also agree with this. I hate to admit it, but I think fallen into this trap of being "brainwashed by feminism" as the author stated in the article. I've always gotten the message/impression from society that women want us (us men) to be sensitive and to be gender-neutral, instead of us being who we are - men. So I have tended to be more sensitive and gender-neutral, because this what I thought society wanted. I've always had the underlying feeling of, "Oh, we are all suppose to be the same. Women want us to be like them, sensitive and not act manly." And as the author suggested, this is what has happened to our society - that manliness is becoming less and less.

Guys, I think it is good to be sensitive, but I think it is even more important to be a man. Have sensitivity, but don't let society brainwash you into being 90% sensitive and 10% manly. In reality that is not women want; they want men to be men, just as a man wants a woman to be a woman.

Men of the world unite! Say it with me, "We are going to be Manly Men!" :hs

Lifetimer

P.S. - I'm going to re-post the majority of this message on the other thread titled, "Men: Are you are sensitive man or manly man?". It is probably more appropriate on that thread.


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## OnyxHeart

Vincenzo Coccotti said:


> The question is, which one is _more important_? To which the answer is, of course, manliness. I'd venture that the majority vote for 'sensitive' (who'd have thought it??) was about women making the 'PC' choice.


In English-speaking countries, stoicism = masculinity; boys here are not to cry.


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## OnyxHeart

Lifetimer said:


> Men of the world unite! Say it with me, "We are going to be Manly Men!"


Whatever :rofl

I'll say it now and forever hold my peace: you'll never convince me of that


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## ShyLight

i prefer half of each


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## Veggie1

I voted for sensitive. An ex-boyfriend was what you (and more so he) would call a manly man. He was constantly saying that a guy would do this or a guy wouldn't do that. It got very tiring. He looked hot (girls always chased after him) but was lacking on a very personal level.

If I must choose one of the two choices, then give me someone who is emotionally supportive over someone who worries more about how he looks in the eyes of other guys anyday. :yes


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## Fly

Lifetimer said:


> I came across this article today http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=1754631 and it got me really curious. As the article suggests, feminists lead us to believe women want a sensitive guy. However, the author of the book in the article says women want a manly man.


The guy is a professor of political philosopy. How does that make him an expert of gender roles? And it's pretty silly to maintain that "feminists lead us to believe ..." this or that. Feminism is way too broad a concept and movement to generalise like that.

And why should "men" have to be manly (which of course is a completely vague notion that can be stretched to mean whatever you want it to mean. Hence, fairly meaningless in my view, and in anyway completely subject to cultural mores anyway) cause that's what women want? So, men have to act "manly" cause women want them to act that way? Hmm, not very manly that, is it? :b



> From the article:
> "Women may say they want a sensitive man but they don't always love one," said Harvey Mansfield, professor of political philosophy at Harvard and author of "Manliness."


So, he basically thinks that woman may say that they like "sensitivity" but they don't really mean what they're saying? Well, i guess a manly man like the professor knows what woman really want, no matter what women actually say.

Meh, both "sensitive" and "manly" are silly notions to me when it comes to the actual behaviour and the needs of people in relationships. It's never that black and whit

Besides, if people think i'm too manly, or sensitive or whatever, let them. I think i will have a much easier time if i just try and act the way i want to act, and not pursue some vague societal notion.


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## LincolnAveFrogger

sensitive, although a little of both is good


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## Roberto

What does it even mean to be sensitive. We're all sensative! :cig


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## luckie

25% manly 75% sensitive (roughly)


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## Roberto

^ People don't know what they want. They're irrational beings driven by spontaneous chemical reactions to external stimuli. ; - ;


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## matt404

Fly said:


> And why should "men" have to be manly (which of course is a completely vague notion that can be stretched to mean whatever you want it to mean. Hence, fairly meaningless in my view, and in anyway completely subject to cultural mores anyway)


This is what I've been wondering. What does it mean to be "manly"? It sounds like a lot of people have equated "manly" with sports-watching/beer-drinking/fighting people for no reason. I hate sports and I never get into fights, but I do drink beer, I like to go fishing, hiking, canoeing, and other outdoor stuff. Is that manly? But I'm also a nice guy who can get his feelings hurt fairly easily.

So what _is_ manly?


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## Lifetimer

matt404 said:


> So what _is_ manly?


What is manly? Click the link below to see an example of manly.

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Lifetimer


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## alternativesong

I like someone who's in between. A guy who's comfortable enough in his manhood to be honest with his feelings is extremely attractive.


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## matt404

Lifetimer said:


> http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/


Ooooooohh. I see.

::Goes to find an ice cream truck to cover in human skulls::


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## Lyric Suite

Lifetimer said:


> So women, be honest.


 :lol


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## Veggie1

What's so funny?


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## OnyxHeart

Veggie1 said:


> What's so funny?


Lifetimer is under the impression that those women who profess to want a "sensitive" man are lying sacks.


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## Veggie1

Lyric Suite said:


> Lifetimer said:
> 
> 
> 
> So women, be honest.
> 
> 
> 
> :lol
Click to expand...

It appears to be Lyric Suite that scoffs at women being honest here.
women everywhere --> :twak <-- Lyric Suite


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## Lifetimer

bluemonday said:


> Lifetimer is under the impression that those women who profess to want a "sensitive" man are lying sacks.


No, it's not that I think women are liars but I (in my opinion) think that women are fooling themselves by thinking they want a sensitive man. I think it just somehow sounds "right" to say they want a sensitive man, so, they say it. Our society has been brainwashed by society and we have become gender-neutral. We have become too politically correct and therefore believe we are suppose to think & respond in a certain way. My REAL belief is that women want a man to have both traits - with the emphasis more on manly. The only reason I didn't include "Both" as a voting option is because it would be taking the easy way out - it would be too easy to vote for.

I think it is as the author in the article basically said, which was basically most women _say_ they want sensitive, but when it comes down to it in reality they want manly.

By the way, I ran this same poll on another website forum and the results there were different from here. No, I'm not obsessed with this topic. I was just curious if non-SA women would vote differently that SA women. And, I was right. The majority there voted for "Manly". Here is the result from the poll on the other forum:

53% - Manly
47% - Sensitive

That is quite different than what the women of this forum have voted. I think an explanation for the women here having voted such a high percentage for wanting a "sensitive" man is because they (as well as us guys here) have social anxiety. And by having social anxiety it would stand to reason the woman would want a sensitive guy because he would most likely have understanding towards her and her SA. Since it is easier for people with SA to be intimidated by people, a SA woman will see a guy who is sensitive as less likely to be intimidating. That is why I think 75% of the vote here (at the time of this writing) have voted for "Sensitive", while only 47% on the other forum voted for Sensitive.

Lifetimer


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## Prodigal Son

I really believe they want a manly man who can be sensitive.

What woman say and what they really want can be 2 different things.


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## alternativesong

:agree I'm a pretty straight forward kind of girl, I say what I want and I mean what I say. Which is why I laugh when guys say girls play all kinds of games and say what they don't mean, to which I add, you're going after the wrong girls :b


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## Fighter86

Sensitive man, but not too sensitive. I mean I would like him to not be afraid to share his feelings with me and all, but I'll prefer if he's not too sensitive till he breaks down over small little things.


Manly men aren't my type at all, I'm not into things like sports and adventurous trips and don't think a partner who is would complement me well.


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## shelly

I don’t think it is an either/or type of question. I think it is a continuum. At the Manly end you have the guys that drink the beer and then eat the bottle. At the Sensitive end you have the guys who cry when they step on a bug and have cramps once a month. I want a guy somewhere in the middle. Here’s what I want:


MANLY

Physical Strength-he should be strong enough to wrestle me to the ground and take me, when I want him to.

Assertive—He doesn’t have to be the Alpha dog, but if someone barks at him or me, he should be able to bark back.

Protective—I’m a girl, enough said

Decisive—I can’t make a decision, if he is indecisive too, we will starve to death.

Passionate—see physical strength

SENSATIVE

Faithful—I don’t want to share my toy

Honest—there are lies or omission and lies of commission, I don’t want a man who does either

Emotive—Longing glances only get you so far

Kind—This is what separates the men from the boys, and I like men

Passionate—about life, love and family


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## IndigoGirl

Sensitive moreso


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## OnyxHeart

Lifetimer said:


> No, it's not that I think women are liars but I (in my opinion) think that women are fooling themselves


That's my father says about atheists. They're only "fooling themselves"- He thinks we're "biologically programmed" to believe in God and atheists are merely "rebelling"

Oh, and certain ethnicities (Asians, for example) are "biologically programmed" to be submissive to more "assertive" groups (i.e, whites)


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## Becky

I want a man who isn't afraid to show me how much he cares about me and who can be sweet and romantic, but he also has to be tough and manly when he needs to be too


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## Strength

Lifetimer said:


> No, it's not that I think women are liars but I (in my opinion) think that women are fooling themselves by thinking they want a sensitive man.


I agree with your conclusion here that women generally want a manly guy.

I also think that Shelly summarized it pretty well in terms of how it's okay to have some other non-manly traits. Being able to express emotion and have conversation skills never hurt.


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## Failure

The extreeme of either side isn't good. 

I'm pretty close to the old fasioned stereotyped "manly" man. if you take out the part about being loud/watching sports. Was in the military for 12 years, 8 of which i was in the special forces. Never talk about my feelings, or much at all. Last time i cried was when i was 14 or so when my cat died. I don't even know how to open up. Closest thing to a relatioship i had was 1 night stands while over seas. Probably am like this because i tried to overcompensate for people making fun of me for being shy when i was younger, so i shut my self out and got a very cold personality.

And i think the opposite would have trouble too. Or at least would a few years ago. I don't see women wanting a guy who cries more then them and couldnt even lift the girl. But with the "emo" fad i'm seeing that's changing i guess.

From what i've seen by my friends most women like a guy who is acts like a man, yet will share their feeling just with her.


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## northstar1991

I personally prefer sensitive men over manly men. Guys acting macho is a big turn-off for me.


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## Innamorata

Sensitive.


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## RawrJessiRawr

They want both, for me I like not overly manly men and not too ovely sensitive man, I have one like that now


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## Revenwyn

Manly men are a huge turn off to me. 

Thing is I think if you asked a woman without some sort of social disorder, they'd choose the manly over the sensitive.


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## Lasair

Sensitive please


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## equiiaddict

Definitely sensitive. No contest. :yes


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## Kennnie

Prodigal Son said:


> I really believe they want a manly man who can be sensitive.
> 
> What woman say and what they really want can be 2 different things.


 this


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## Shrinking Violet

I think you have to define "manly man" better. It's good for men to be tough when need be. It's good if he can control his emotions, have some confidence, and break the rules if he thinks they're wrong.

However, if the choice is between insensitive and sensitive then I would certainly choose sensitive. It's fine to be tough around other people, but in a relationship, I want unguarded sensitivity.

IMO sensitive men can be manly too .


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## AllToAll

Both.


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## regimes

both. our relationship shouldn't be black and white so i don't see why his attributes should be.


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## Addler

I want people to stop making massive generalizations about what women/men are/want.


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## Tugwahquah

Neither. Ill take the middleman, he's a little bit of each.


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## leave me alone

Umm, i wonder how this poll reflects the reality. I suspect not much.


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## Akane

How about neither. Since I am not very open about feelings really sensitive guys annoy me. However I'm not the least bit interested in really manly guys. Your poll is too black and white since there is a much broader range of personalities than that and not everyone can be categorized so easily.


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## Class

I think sensitivity can be manly.


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## ratbag

Sensitive men, you couldn't possibly be as sensitive as this man.






And about what the girl says at the end, don't take that seriously.


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## Elizabeth419

Both. The perfect example is the singer of HIM, if you know who I'm talking about. He's the kind of tall tattoo covered scandinavian who could beat the **** out of anyone he wanted to, but writes sad love songs and paints instead.


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## cafune

Akane said:


> How about neither. Since I am not very open about feelings really sensitive guys annoy me. However I'm not the least bit interested in really manly guys. Your poll is too black and white since there is a much broader range of personalities than that and not everyone can be categorized so easily.


:ditto


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## melissa75

I can't vote since, like others, a combo of both traits is preferable to me. It's all about the situation of when to be sensitive. Constant sensitivity can be very annoying.


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## laura024

YAHSAVEmePLEASE said:


> Well I'm super sensitive but also very tough exterior. Where does that leave me?


Perfect.


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## bsd3355

I cry when I watch bambi


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## millenniumman75

Macho is pretty broad in terms of description. How macho is macho? :stu :lol


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## Syndacus

millenniumman75 said:


> Macho is pretty broad in terms of description. How macho is macho? :stu :lol


Chuck Norris manly..


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## Freiheit

Like a mix of both? Neither of the extremes appeals to me.


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## Acai

This is a rediculous article. As if things are come down to that, the choice between two traits. 
Speaking for myself, I prefer men who respect me, whether they be manly or not. The manliness or level of sensitivity is unimportant if the respect is missing.
Also, being sensitive doesn't mean crying. It means being aware of other people's feelings, etc.
In that case, most PEOPLE would go for the sensitive person, man or woman, because the other would be thoughtless, yes?


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## Nekomata

Probably sensitive. I've never really interacted much with 'manly' men, for some reason x_x


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## Revenwyn




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## coffeeandflowers

But I really want both. That should be an option. Guys don't have to fall into one category or the other. There are a lot of gray areas.


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## meepie

I prefer a man who is emotionally healthy, that's it.


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## meepie

UltraShy said:


> I think women send mixed messages. "I want a man who can express his emotions" they might say, but they wouldn't be thrilled with some "sissy boy" who cries.


We all cry, it's the first thing we do when we are born. To make fun of someone for crying, man or woman, is cruel.


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## monotonous

manly sensitive blows


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## Charmander

A bit of both? I don't know. I don't exactly go for "types" of men. Some are attractive to me, some aren't.


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## Limmy

manly man 4sure!


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## lockS

Sensitive man


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## Cletis

I think they prefer the manly man for sex and one-night stands and such, but they would rather marry a sensitive guy.

Just my 2 cents... :um


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## ItsEasierToRun

It's very possible to be both in one..
(Shamelessly uses self as an example) :lol


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## ashli116

Manly man on the outside but still sensitive on the inside...so, both!


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## AlchemyFire

Cletis said:


> I think they prefer the manly man for sex and one-night stands and such, but they would rather marry a sensitive guy.
> 
> Just my 2 cents... :um


You're right, I've seen a few studies confirming that.

Personally, I like sensitive guys. Manly men are usually pricks, in my experience.


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