# Black Folks & Their Bibles: Pure Comedy



## rilakkuma (May 2, 2013)

Before the mods delete this, I am African-American. So I speak from personal experience. 

I believe in God but I try not associate with any organized religion. Being non-religious and African-American is a struggle. The funniest thing is that some Black people argue if Jesus was Black or white, when he was a Jew. If it bothers you that he is not Black, then why are you a Christian then?

My mom still thinks I am a Christian even after I expressed to her what my views are. She even lightly broad-beat Christianity into me. I feel that she is not respecting my spiritual views. 

On Facebook, when I discussed groupthink in a religion on a post all hell broke loose. These same Black Christians got upset with me and another girl because she agreed with me. Funniest thing, most of the people attacking us couldn't even spell yet they questioned our intelligence because we were not religious. 

My mother thinks Islam is a bad religion but the majority of people of African descent in the world study Islam and a only a minority of them are terrorists (unlike what my mother thinks). 

Most of the Black Christians I know think that everything is of the devil including people that practice Buddhism, Judaism or Islam. So anybody who doesn't worship Jesus are of the devil...even if they do good and preach peace and love? 

Does anybody...ANYBODY on here feel conflicted about being agnostic, atheist or Spiritual but no Religious within their ethnic group because they are expected to be religious because of their ethnicity? I just can't take it anymore.


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

nope, I just let people talk about their views and keep to myself, I already know that most people who are religious are going to be upset when I express my views so why antagonize them?


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

My family thinks I'm Christian, because they are. And I've heard them talk **** about agnostic and atheist people, so I just keep it to myself. My dad is extremely religious, and everyone else in my family believes in God, even if they don't go to church or anything. I avoid speaking up to avoid any arguments.


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## thecrazy88 (Feb 27, 2013)

mezzoforte said:


> My family thinks I'm Christian, because they are. And I've heard them talk **** about agnostic and atheist people, so I just keep it to myself. My dad is extremely religious, and everyone else in my family believes in God, even if they don't go to church or anything. I avoid speaking up to avoid any arguments.


It's the same for me, I don't think anyone would get angry but some of them are pretty judgmental about things.

Most of the people in my family aren't black, so I don't know if it would be different. I have a sister who is not open about her atheism because she thinks some people in the family would have a problem with it. She's mentioned it on Facebook and got some hate for it from people who don't even know her.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

I didn't know there are black people that believes is black. I thought that was just a running joke.

My family are catholic and they think I am as well. Years ago I told my parents I'm an atheist but either they forgot or didn't want to believe it because they still go on as if I'm a theist. Out of respect, I would never tell my grandparents, and some aunts, that I'm an atheist.


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## Hikikomori2014 (Sep 8, 2014)

*Most people are what I term "cookie-cutter".
People for the most part, embody the practices and views of their surroundings.
Have you ever wondered why people in a certain area listen to one type of music or all seem to have the same political affiliation and view-points?

Free-thinkers are rare in this day and age.

FYI - I am not bashing religion per-se
*


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## WTFnooooo (Mar 27, 2010)

nubly said:


> I didn't know there are black people that believes is black. I thought that was just a running joke.
> 
> My family are catholic and they think I am as well. Years ago I told my parents I'm an atheist but either they forgot or didn't want to believe it because they still go on as if I'm a theist. Out of respect, I would never tell my grandparents, and some aunts, that I'm an atheist.


It's no hidden secret that some Blacks believe Jesus is black(and in the case of the Black Hebrew Israelites, all of the "prophets" are supposedly black, descendants of Abraham. Not every black person is considered part of the lineage, like for example Somalis, which according to the BHI they come from other groups of people the god of the Bible didn't _sponsor_, so they cannot become part of the cult).


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## rilakkuma (May 2, 2013)

mezzoforte said:


> My family thinks I'm Christian, because they are. And I've heard them talk **** about agnostic and atheist people, so I just keep it to myself. My dad is extremely religious, and everyone else in my family believes in God, even if they don't go to church or anything. I avoid speaking up to avoid any arguments.


I pretty much avoid discussing religion with my family anymore. Every time I do, they always tell me "You need to read your Bible more!"


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

It's very possible Jesus was black but it's more likely that he was Brown. I mean he was an Arab after all. Yeshua (Jesus’ real Aramaic name) was born in Bethlehem, a Palestinian city in the West Bank. He was born a jew, this does not mean he was not a Palestinian.


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## Dre12 (Jul 25, 2014)

I think the African American devotion to a religion imposed on their ancestors by their slave masters tells you everything that you need to know about religion - it is a load of arbitrary bollocks.

One good thing about living in the UK is that you are largely free of the religious nut jobs in everyday life (they all left for America back in the day).


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## rilakkuma (May 2, 2013)

Jesus was not a white Anglo-Saxon, Nordic type but he definitely was not a Sub-Saharan Black African type either. I do believe that Jesus was a man with brown skin (whether he was Caucasoid or not) but not what has been depicted in mainstream culture and Hollywood.


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## funnynihilist (Jul 29, 2014)

I always figured that Jesus looked like the late Michael Landon. Like Hallmark Chanel-ish.

I kid, of course...


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Poor people tend to be less educated and more religious. Most black people in the US are descendants of slaves (meaning no generational wealth, no advantageous social ties, tougher time getting a decent education) or recent immigrants and tend to be on the lower rungs of the socioeconomic class system. This means they cling harder to religion because it's what gives them hope to carry on since they don't have much else positive going on around them. In addition, there is a strong history of religion being a refuge for the black community since the time of slavery - in order to cope with that life. All of these things are strong reasons as to why religion is so prominent in these communities. Therefore, the struggle to disassociate yourself from that tradition is much harder. 

I'm not black, but my parents are very religious. They still try to convince me how I'm wrong and all that. The only thing you can do is ignore them as much as possible.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

ilovejehovah777 said:


> The Bible describes Jesus as a black man so I'm going by what the word says


How does it describe him?


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## DanTheOutlaw (May 29, 2014)

I just disregard religion instantly, it's total bollocks.


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

DanTheOutlaw said:


> I just disregard religion instantly, it's total bollocks.


Not Buddhism. Buddhism teaches very practical things that can make your life better and they don't have a God


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

nubly said:


> How does it describe him?


It doesn't, I mean it has a few verses that you could interpret him as being black, but the strongest case is since the ancient Israelite Hebrews were black it is very possible he was black.


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## ilovejehovah777 (Apr 16, 2013)

nubly said:


> How does it describe him?


Revelation 1:14 *His head and His hair were white like white wool*, like snow; and His eyes were like a flame of fire. 15*His feet were like burnished bronze, when it has been made to glow in a furnace*, and His voice was like the sound of many waters.&#8230;


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

ilovejehovah777 said:


> Revelation 1:14 *His head and His hair were white like white wool*, like snow; and His eyes were like a flame of fire. 15*His feet were like burnished bronze, when it has been made to glow in a furnace*, and His voice was like the sound of many waters.&#8230;


I don't think I've ever met a black person with a snow white head. Bronze feet sounds like tanned feet, a middle eastern.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

I remember when I used to work in this crappy town near me called Hemet. There was this ethiopian looking guy that would walk up and down the street holding out a cross in front of him and flick holy water onto cars every morning. It was pure comedy. 

Anyone who is super religious makes me laugh. You know the only reason they are that way is because they aren't capable of any kind of rational thought.


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## ilovejehovah777 (Apr 16, 2013)

nubly said:


> I don't think I've ever met a black person with a snow white head. Bronze feet sounds like tanned feet, a middle eastern.


It's saying his hair was like wool and his feet were burnished bronze in other translations it says as if it were burned in a fire.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

ilovejehovah777 said:


> It's saying his hair was like wool and his feet were burnished bronze in other translations it says as if it were burned in a fire.


The hair does sound like it would be from a black person. But other races can also have hair the way it's described there. Burnished bronze is a deep tan color. I don't know what burnt feet would look like but if it looks like any other burnt flesh then it would be black like charcoal.


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

nubly said:


> The hair does sound like it would be from a black person. But other races can also have hair the way it's described there. Burnished bronze is a deep tan color. I don't know what burnt feet would look like but if it looks like any other burnt flesh then it would be black like charcoal.


One of these is the earliest deceptions of Jesus and he is black, the other is the earliest deceptions of the apostles of jesus and they are black


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

CowGoMoo said:


> One of these is the earliest deceptions of Jesus and he is black, the other is the earliest deceptions of the apostles of jesus and they are black


Where did you find these? Anyway, these aren't from the bible.


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

nubly said:


> Where did you find these? Anyway, these aren't from the bible.


Hmm I don't remember. I have them saved on my computer the apostles as "Catacombs of Rome" and the Jesus one as "dura europos house church" which is the very first Syrian christian church.
I used to study Jesus like a freak, the bible is not an accurate representation of the man! There's other Gospels to read don't read Matthews, Mark, and Luke because they have been heavily changed and Matthews and Mark are not even written by Matthew and Mark


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## ilovejehovah777 (Apr 16, 2013)

CowGoMoo said:


> One of these is the earliest deceptions of Jesus and he is black, the other is the earliest deceptions of the apostles of jesus and they are black


I've seen these pictures before I have seen other pictures too and this one is a popular one from the church of Rome in AD530


http://imgur.com/cFxa25t


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

ilovejehovah777 said:


> I've seen these pictures before I have seen other pictures too and this one is a popular one from the church of Rome in AD530
> 
> 
> http://imgur.com/cFxa25t


Very interesting stuff


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## ilovejehovah777 (Apr 16, 2013)

CowGoMoo said:


> Very interesting stuff


Yup


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

RelinquishedHell said:


> I remember when I used to work in this crappy town near me called Hemet. There was this ethiopian looking guy that would walk up and down the street holding out a cross in front of him and flick holy water onto cars every morning. It was pure comedy.
> 
> Anyone who is super religious makes me laugh. You know the only reason they are that way is because they aren't capable of any kind of rational thought.


Oh, I don't know. There are a lot of otherwise very intelligent people who are religious. It's because people selectively choose which things they want to be rational about. Everyone has something they know they logically shouldn't do/think but they still do it. Humans are hypocritical by nature.


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## hmnut (Aug 8, 2011)

I think it's debatable if Jesus was black as we would define it. But the idea that he was an Anglo Saxon white guy like in most pictures is baseless.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

That art doesn't mean anything though. There are plenty of paintings depicting him white but that doesn't mean he was white. According to wikipedia, there are various ways that his race can be interpreted in the Bible (there's even a Chinese interpretation) but it doesn't specify what race he was. Logically, it makes more sense that he was mid eastern.


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## ilovejehovah777 (Apr 16, 2013)

Lia of Wednesday said:


> The passages you're talking about is definitely not talking about what Jesus actually looked like. Revelations as well as Daniel (there is a passage in there that people also make reference to) are visions. They are talking about things not actually seen. They are full of metaphors and symbols.
> 
> The part that talks about his hair is only referencing the color, not the hair texture. The feet color is not even a real skin color. They are talking about bronze that hasn't even been cast yet. Glowing bronze in the furnace looks like this:
> 
> ...


People always try to mark it off as symbolism but I don't think it was.


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## orsomething (Feb 14, 2014)

ok but my dad is a part time magician and he likes to break out his magic tricks in public esp on black people and their reactions are seriously amazing

they usually think it's some kind of demon voodoo **** and walk away or just stand there with their mouths wide open it is so good

i have nothing else to add to this thread


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

My mom is Jewish, and the rest of my family are Christian, half of them being bible slapping Bapists. I pissed them off a few years ago when I went with my grandma's last will wishes, instead of consulting them, so frankly I could worship trees and they wouldn't care. 

I believe what I want, then. I don't believe in organized religion anymore. I'm more of a spiritual than religious person.


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## MildSA (Sep 29, 2014)

diamondheart89 said:


> Oh, I don't know. There are a lot of otherwise very intelligent people who are religious. It's because people selectively choose which things they want to be rational about. Everyone has something they know they logically shouldn't do/think but they still do it. Humans are hypocritical by nature.


Folks are religious b/c it gives them something to live for (After Life), someone to lean onto during hard times (God) & an authority to explain the sophisticated world we live in (Holy Books) ....otherwise their life would seems meaningless/hopeless which is why they cling onto religion & defend it by all means necessary.

For example the head of the NIH (Francis Collins) is a very religious person....basically he rather believe in God until proven otherwise which goes against the scientific method that the NIH itself is responsible for disseminating.


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## ghoskin (Jun 20, 2014)

Anybody seen Religulous by Bill Maher, it's on youtube? It's really funny and i really like his attitude - he talks to religious people and gently points out that in all other areas of their lives they try and think rationally and judge on evidence and common sense...but then take Bronze Age (I think that's what he said) stories about a magical being as a guide to life!


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## MildSA (Sep 29, 2014)

I'm an atheist & was raised as a Christian by Ethiopian parents (EXTREMELY religious). When I was 14 I told my family I'm not a believer & they basically acted like I had gotten a girl pregnant. We had several heated debates but all of them ended with them tapping out b/c I kept debunking every last one of their urban legends & exposed them as hypocrites. Since then they basically roll their eyes & mind their business....if they try to pull a quick one I just remind them that the debates happened & I have nothing more to say.

Stay strong sista.......the novelty of being Black-but-not-religious will wear off just like interracial relationships. The atheist movement is gaining momentum as the old guard is slowly but surely being replaced by younger generation. Remember it was only 50 years ago when segregation was the law of the land, 20 years ago when gay celebrities was ostracized, 10 years ago when a the possibility Black president seemed far fetched.......a change is going to come, just stay patient.


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

^ Hellz yea. Totally agree.


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## rilakkuma (May 2, 2013)

nubly said:


> I don't think I've ever met a black person with a snow white head. Bronze feet sounds like tanned feet, a middle eastern.














But he's an elderly Black man.


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## rilakkuma (May 2, 2013)

Lia of Wednesday said:


> The passages you're talking about is definitely not talking about what Jesus actually looked like. Revelations as well as Daniel (there is a passage in there that people also make reference to) are visions. They are talking about things not actually seen. They are full of metaphors and symbols.
> 
> The part that talks about his hair is only referencing the color, not the hair texture. The feet color is not even a real skin color. They are talking about bronze that hasn't even been cast yet. Glowing bronze in the furnace looks like this:
> 
> ...


LOL! Yes, I think it should be pretty obvious that these descriptions of Jesus are metaphorical and poetic. I can bet that Jesus was not a sparkly, diamond man with flames in his eyes. LOL! That sounds like an Adventure Time character!


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## rilakkuma (May 2, 2013)

MildSA said:


> I'm an atheist & was raised as a Christian by Ethiopian parents (EXTREMELY religious). When I was 14 I told my family I'm not a believer & they basically acted like I had gotten a girl pregnant. We had several heated debates but all of them ended with them tapping out b/c I kept debunking every last one of their urban legends & exposed them as hypocrites. Since then they basically roll their eyes & mind their business....if they try to pull a quick one I just remind them that the debates happened & I have nothing more to say.
> 
> Stay strong sista.......the novelty of being Black-but-not-religious will wear off just like interracial relationships. The atheist movement is gaining momentum as the old guard is slowly but surely being replaced by younger generation. Remember it was only 50 years ago when segregation was the law of the land, 20 years ago when gay celebrities was ostracized, 10 years ago when a the possibility Black president seemed far fetched.......a change is going to come, just stay patient.


Even though I am not atheist, I agree. I don't doubt that there is a higher being; I am just not affiliated with any organized religion. :no


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

rilakkuma said:


> But he's an elderly Black man.


His hair isn't his head.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

rilakkuma said:


> My mom still thinks I am a Christian even after I expressed to her what my views are. She even lightly broad-beat Christianity into me. I feel that she is not respecting my spiritual views....
> 
> ...My mother thinks Islam is a bad religion but the majority of people of African descent in the world study Islam and a only a minority of them are terrorists (unlike what my mother thinks).
> 
> ...


My mom has gotten ever more religious as I've gotten older & currently she is the Women's Ministry Leader at her church. Every so often we get into arguments about things Christian or other religions as I don't share her beliefs whatsoever. I'm not a man of the book nor do I believe other religions are blasphemous so it can get pretty heated. I think there's wisdom to be found in the bible if you look but I don't swear by it & I think it's highly contradictory as well. I'm not conflicted about it in terms of culture though, it's a conversation I tend to avoid unless the person is open to discussion/conversation as opposed to conversion. I wish the ability to agree to disagree was more common amongst people who as deeply devout


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

ilovejehovah777 said:


> The Bible describes Jesus as a black man so I'm going by what the word says





rilakkuma said:


> Jesus was not a white Anglo-Saxon, Nordic type but he definitely was not a Sub-Saharan Black African type either. I do believe that Jesus was a man with brown skin (whether he was Caucasoid or not) but not what has been depicted in mainstream culture and Hollywood.


Surely he was Middle Eastern though? He was born in that area.... Seems most likely anyway, I'm willing to bet the 'Jesus' mentioned in the bible is really several different people anyway.


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

That's because you've been sold the fake Christianity. True Christianity is enlightenment. Read the bible and try the psyclobin mushroom. You will see.


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

Yeshua, The Christ's real name, is Hebrew, so...



Persephone The Dread said:


> Surely he was Middle Eastern though? He was born in that area.... Seems most likely anyway, I'm willing to bet the 'Jesus' mentioned in the bible is really several different people anyway.


Yes! I totally agree with that. A lot of historians think this about a lot of figures, especially ones of myth, are multiple people's stories. Take Herakles, or Hercules, for example. Historians believe him to be at least 10 figures, hence the ten trials of Hercules. Each was a story that was big-fished, and after even more time, fused into one mythical demi-god's story. Sound familiar? Jesus is technically a demi-god. 

Speaking of Christ-like demi-gods. In Teutonic beliefs, or Norse mythology, Baldr, son of Odin the creator god, is the demi-god of peace and harmony. Baldr was also killed and resurrected. He and Norse mythology predate Christ/Christianity by an estimated 20,000 years.

Also, if you look at the archangel Michael and the cherubim Lucifer, Norse mythology did that **** 20,000 years earlier. Thor is a protector of man. Loki is a mischievous god that causes chaos in Midgar (Middle-Earth). Michael and Thor are both given mighty weapons imbued with their father's power. Lucifer and Loki are both outcasts of their respective higher orders.

NEXT RELIGION!

Hindu mythology. Predates Christianity by at least 4,000 years.

Krishna: born of a virgin, resurrected after death. Was all about peace.

Lot of virgin birth stories and resurrection stories in a lot of religions that predate Christianity.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

JustThisGuy said:


> Yeshua, The Christ's real name, is Hebrew, so...
> 
> Yes! I totally agree with that. A lot of historians think this about a lot of figures, especially ones of myth, are multiple people's stories. Take Herakles, or Hercules, for example. Historians believe him to be at least 10 figures, hence the ten trials of Hercules. Each was a story that was big-fished, and after even more time, fused into one mythical demi-god's story. Sound familiar? Jesus is technically a demi-god.
> 
> ...


Oh there are loads of similarities yeah some may be coincidence but I doubt all of them are, a lot of stories/characters obviously inspired others. Lucifer + Prometheus, Pandora + Eve, lots of flood stories.

And my favourite and the most bizarre one (due to geographical distance) is the similarities between the story of Persephone in Greek mythology (who couldn't return to the living world after eating pomegranate seeds,) and Izanami no Mikoto in Shintoism & Japanese mythology, who also ate food in the underworld and was unable to return to the living afterwards.

I know that a lot of Pagan traditions/beliefs were incorporated in some form into Christianity in Europe too, to make the conversion process easier. Santa is basically Odin modified over many centuries lol... Not that Santa is really a part of Christianity but still, most Christians 'support' Santa as a cultural thing.


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Oh there are loads of similarities yeah some may be coincidence but I doubt all of them are, a lot of stories/characters obviously inspired others. Lucifer + Prometheus, Pandora + Eve, lots of flood stories.
> 
> And my favourite and the most bizarre one (due to geographical distance) is the similarities between the story of Persephone in Greek mythology (who couldn't return to the living world after eating pomegranate seeds,) and Izanami no Mikoto in Shintoism & Japanese mythology, who also ate food in the underworld and was unable to return to the living afterwards.
> 
> I know that a lot of Pagan traditions/beliefs were incorporated in some form into Christianity in Europe too, to make the conversion process easier. Santa is basically Odin modified over many centuries lol... Not that Santa is really a part of Christianity but still, most Christians 'support' Santa as a cultural thing.


Yea, Christianity's weird, in that it's this nexus of other religions within it's own religion. Old Testament is basically a really edited Torah, and so it recognizes ancient Egyptian mythology. And in one instance, Jesus goes to Hades to claim all of the dead, basically killing Hades the god (which his realm gives him his power).

Never knew that about Sintoism and Greek mythology. Just so you know, the story of Persephone is one of my favorites in Greek myth. She was the answer for the seasons to the Greeks.

Yea, the Christmas tree was originally for Winter Solstice, a pagan holiday. Including the decorations and gift giving. I never knew about Odin being a part of the origin of Santa Claus. I knew Santa was another mixed figure. When Christianity got ahold of him, they combined him with St. Nicholas. It was kind of a "if you can't beat them, join them," type of tactic to assimilate Europe into Christians as they went north.

I do remember reading a story that an old man and his wife were the true basis of Mr. and Mrs. Claus. The tradition and festivities of giving were long before them, but the old man and his wife would make toys all year round and go around and give the local children these gifts around Winter Solstice. Which this was a much grander scheme of giving out gifts then was tradition. You basically just kept to family and maybe direct neighbors, but he went all over the countryside. While the story is still up in the air, it's not too hard to believe because they weren't magical or anything. Supposedly the reason they did this is because they could never have children of their own.

Oh, and another possible-fact is that they palpably did use two reindeer to pull their sleigh. Because if you've ever seen reindeer, they're humongous. They're literally like horses. They weren't uncommon in Germany way back when.


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