# I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my depression



## stephanie-s (Jan 16, 2007)

Not even the most optimistic person can say 'pretty' to me. Its impossible. How do I look then?
I have green eyes. One of them is slightly bigger than the other.
I have a-symmetrical brows, that even a cosmetic can fix nomore(they are damaged)
My nose is long, with a huge bump on it and the tip of the nose is a-symmetrical. It is also triangle-shaped (the top of the nose is thin, but it gets wider by the tip of the nose)
My lips are weird shaped - i have too small top-lip
I have too small teeth. People call me bad names because of it. They are also crooked and yellow. I wore braces, but they did abso-fkin-lutely nothing good.
I have no real breasts yet. I gained a lot of weight to see, if they might start growing, but the only thing that grows, is my tummy and butt.
I have hairy arms and feet. i have to shave all the time.
I have small eyelashes and my face shape is a-symmetrical
The only thing thats good about me is that Im not fat and i dont have acne.
I also have a big forehead. Its huge.
But i can sure say I SUCK when it comes to looks. Only my mother has said me that i look ''good''. Not even my ex-friend could tell me nothing but a ''ummm'' when i asked her, how do i look like. She did reply later, that I have really beautiful spotmark on my cheek.
No boy has ever liked me or ever said I am pretty. Infact, we had to write about other classmates in 6th grade and I was listed as 'the ugliest girl in class' by many people. We also did some weird quizes in younger classes and the boys had to rate the girls looks and girls boys looks.
I was on the last place, of course.
When i was a kid, i thought i were pretty, but the mirrors lie. Only pictures tell me, how I look like.
Im almost 18 and I write like a 13 year old teenager with stupid problems, but that was the main cause for my depression.
I didnt think i was enough good for anyone and I havent had any friends since i was 14. I never talk to anybody, not even with my family and spend the most time in internet. Everytime i walk on the street, people look weirdly at me. Yes, i can see the difference, how people look at a gorgeous girl from my class and how they look at me. 
I wish appearance would be my only problem, because I also have got a disease, that I dont want to talk about and im also very agressive. 
I have problems with my family, because they stick together, but they see me as the ''ugly duckling'' of our family. 
Even when some rich guests arrived at our house, my sister got a necklace out of pure gold and my other sister got a ring, i got nothing. 
My mom forbid me to ask them and later told me why - they didnt like the way I look like. My mom told me, that its ok ''you can always fix your ugly features when ur older'' she said. I dont understand. I dont want to change myself with plastic surgery. :steam Are reallly people so mean? I know, these guests were really shallow people, but still.
I wish the appearance WOULDNT count anymore.


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## noregrets (May 4, 2006)

*re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my depres*

People can be really picky and mean in high school. Sometimes they will pick on someone's appearance just because that person doesn't seem confident or doesn't wear the trendiest clothes. I'm alarmed that your teachers made people rate everyone's appearance, though! That is terrible. Can't they see that such a vote is bound to make people feel bad? Also, your own family sounds like they've been pretty mean to you. That must be hard to get over!

Anyway, people called me ugly a lot in high school too. I probably could have come up with a big long list of things I didn't like about my appearance at that time, too. Now though, apparently a number of people think I'm quite attractive... It is somewhat hard to believe, but I don't know why they'd lie. Once you're out of high school I think people will be less likely to pick on you. Most of those things you're listing may be very subtle things that nobody but you would even notice. Also, they say that it's the good looking and popular kids who will look bad ten years after high school and the others really blossom and look better.... I don't know... I hope I'm not making light of the situation. I was really really depressed about my appearance at one time too but eventually I just felt better, so you can too.

:hug


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## Restless Mind (Jul 19, 2006)

*re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my depres*

Maybe you should apply to that show "Extreme Makeover?"


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

*Re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my depres*



stephanie-s said:


> We also did some weird quizes in younger classes and the boys had to rate the girls looks and girls boys looks.
> I was on the last place, of course.


WTF?



stephanie-s said:


> I dont want to change myself with plastic surgery.


Excellent. Good for you!


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

*re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my depres*

I bet you aren't as nearly as bad as you think you are.


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## lilly (Mar 22, 2006)

*re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my depres*

Stephanie-s have you had any treatment for your depression? I think you really need counselling with a good counsellor. I'm so sick of the entire world being so focused on looks - it has never been worse in my opinion. 
You are only young and there are so many good qualities you have. Do something about the things you can improve - dress as well as you can - maybe wear a little makeup and learn how to apply it properly and then you have done as much as you can.
People like you for who you are not what you look like. You should do what you want to do not do things to please other people.
Also I think you need never to compare yourself to others and don't be against yourself. You can knock yourself out to please others and it still might never work so just work at getting your mind to a good place.


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## Jimiam (Jan 8, 2007)

*re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my depres*

You'll be fine. Just try not to dwell so much on your looks.JUst don't let those mean highschool students play with your head. That's what they want to do is hurt you and cause you pain and distress. Just ignoring those people and continuing to be a nice person is the best thing to do. Alot of those hot, popular chicks are just biaches, anyway.


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## stephanie-s (Jan 16, 2007)

*Re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my depres*



odd_one_out said:


> [quote="stephanie-s":0dacf] We also did some weird quizes in younger classes and the boys had to rate the girls looks and girls boys looks.
> I was on the last place, of course.


WTF?
[/quote:0dacf]

Well, when we had class-trips to places and everybody had nothing else to do, they came up with an idea to rate girls/boys appearances. It became a 'tradition' in our class, because everybody wanted to know, how pretty or good-looking they are in the eyes of others - that boosted their ego.
I always hated these things, but when they saw, how insecure I felt about becoming the last place on the list, the so-called 'popular girl' came to me and said (and this shall I remember forever :yes) 
"Did you know, that the boys think you are the ugliest girl in our school"
Later she of course 'forgot' that she had said that.
Probably my appearance is going to haunt my for the rest of my life.
I even got teased by my music teacher - because I have the same name as a pretty girl in our class (her name is Stefanie) - and she wanted to call the beautiful Stefanie (not me) in front of the class, but I thought I heard my name so I went. "I meant the pretty Stefanie," she said later. The whole class laughed. So embarrassing for me at that time.


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## jwlennon67 (Jan 16, 2007)

*re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my depres*

steph this is a sorry situation so many people out there don't understand the situation of all you need is love so they treat others bad to please themselves it's kind of like they can't appreciate how they are unless they tease other relentelessly just remember steph there will be answer let it be.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

*Re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my depres*



stephanie-s said:


> [quote="odd_one_out":e5786][quote="stephanie-s":e5786] We also did some weird quizes in younger classes and the boys had to rate the girls looks and girls boys looks.
> I was on the last place, of course.


WTF?
[/quote:e5786]

Well, when we had class-trips to places and everybody had nothing else to do, they came up with an idea to rate girls/boys appearances. It became a 'tradition' in our class, because everybody wanted to know, how pretty or good-looking they are in the eyes of others - that boosted their ego.
I always hated these things, but when they saw, how insecure I felt about becoming the last place on the list, the so-called 'popular girl' came to me and said (and this shall I remember forever :yes) 
"Did you know, that the boys think you are the ugliest girl in our school"
Later she of course 'forgot' that she had said that.
Probably my appearance is going to haunt my for the rest of my life.
I even got teased by my music teacher - because I have the same name as a pretty girl in our class (her name is Stefanie) - and she wanted to call the beautiful Stefanie (not me) in front of the class, but I thought I heard my name so I went. "I meant the pretty Stefanie," she said later. The whole class laughed. So embarrassing for me at that time.[/quote:e5786]
Holy **** that is totally insensitive. That's just brutal a teacher would be that callous.


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## D.B. Cooper (Jul 21, 2006)

*re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my depres*

This is normal for younger female types. Something weird happens in the female brain during the whole teenage/post-teenage years that makes them hate their physical appearance and do silly things like write live journals.

Not to be insensitive...but yeah im old and male and just giving some perspective.


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

*Re: re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my de*



D.B. Cooper said:


> This is normal for younger female types. Something weird happens in the female brain during the whole teenage/post-teenage years that makes them hate their physical appearance *and do silly things like write live journals*


:lol


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

*Re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my depres*



stephanie-s said:


> Well, when we had class-trips to places and everybody had nothing else to do, they came up with an idea to rate girls/boys appearances. It became a 'tradition' in our class, because everybody wanted to know, how pretty or good-looking they are in the eyes of others - that boosted their ego.


That's one of the most terrible things I have ever read.


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## shy_girl (Dec 12, 2006)

*re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my depres*



> Are reallly people so mean?


No, not everyone is that mean. Trust me, the older you get, the nicer people get. I was teased at school about my looks (it didn't help that i was quiet and an easy target), and thus I am still pretty insecure on them. I didn't receive the same amount of abuse as you, but I still had plenty myself. I used to go home somedays and look at myself in the mirror and cry, because of what people had said. It was horrible. I felt like looks were everything and nothing else mattered.

But I left school and went to work.....it was different there. Sure I was still insecure, but slowly my confidence in how I looked improved. I talked to guys and girls that were popular in school, to good looking guys. Recently I've been asked out by a couple. Things do improve, trust me. I don't rate my looks but I am way more comfortable and don't agonise like I used to. There are some really nice people out there who will make u feel valued and wanted. Not even friends, just work colleagues or other people who make u feel like ur a real person if you see where i'm going. Its not gonna be like this forever, just hang in there. And I am pretty sure you're not as bad as you think you are cos I know now that i'm not.

Try to stay positive!!


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

*Re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my depres*

What you should keep in mind is that these people are picking on you because you're shy and they see you as non-threatening. That doesn't mean they _really_ think you're the "ugliest in the class;" it means that they think you're the person that will not stand up to them. I went through a lot of the same things as you're going through now. I relate so much to your post that it's almost frightening. Sometimes it's hard for me to believe that people are so insensitive.


stephanie-s said:


> Well, when we had class-trips to places and everybody had nothing else to do, they came up with an idea to rate girls/boys appearances. It became a 'tradition' in our class, because everybody wanted to know, how pretty or good-looking they are in the eyes of others - that boosted their ego.


 :hug My classmates did the same thing to me. I have been there and I survived it, so you can too. Just try to hold on; you're almost finished with high school and it does get better. We had those quizzes in my school (e.g., which girls in the class would you "f***"?, rate the girls' levels of attractiveness, etc), and I was always chosen as the ugliest. I remember some guy going around the class asking guys if they had to choose between having sex with me or (some other "nerdy" girl in class) who would they pick? Most of them said they'd rather kill themselves, or made some joke about how the other girl wouldn't be so bad with a bag on her head. I, of course, was informed of the results. Your post made me feel really sad. I hope things make a drastic turn around for you. It's such a horrible experience.


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## GraceLikeRain (Nov 9, 2003)

I don't even know what to say about some of the stuff mentioned in this thread, especially the comment that the teacher made. What the _hell_ is wrong with some people???

I've even witnessed some teasing at my college lately. It makes me want to just hide in my room, wondering what others think about me, and what they say about me behind my back. I don't understand how anyone is/can be raised to act this way.


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## thatswet (Oct 22, 2006)

*re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my depres*

Ugly? You look stunning. I can't imagine anybody looking at that picture and thinking that you're ugly.

I think pretty much everyone gets negative feedback about their looks at some point in their lives, and there are a lot of reasons why. Consider the times that you've been criticized about your looks, and think about why they might have said what they did.

Maybe since you feel ugly at times you give off a negative vibe through your facial expression, attire or hygiene that drives people away?

Maybe while you were developing you went through an awkward stage in terms of your looks?

Maybe people are jealous of your looks?

OR 
...many other things

Whatever the case, I'm so sorry :hug


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## lyssado707 (Oct 29, 2004)

*re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my depres*

:hug That's horrible. People can be so cruel. I read somewhere that when people disconnect from their own feelings they can't easily see how their actions hurt others and empathize with them. They're the ones with the problem. I remember what it was like going through that ugly feeling when I was younger. I was so depressed over acne and other people, like at the mall, looking sooo good. As you get older you realize that you don't really look that horrible, and looks are insignificant compared to other things. As a teenager, and in HS, there's just so much insecurity and competition it's horrible, and people love to put someone else down to boost themselves. I wish you well in getting through this extremely hard time.


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## falling snow (Jan 10, 2007)

*re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my depres*

...


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## falling snow (Jan 10, 2007)

*re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my depres*

:dd


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## falling snow (Jan 10, 2007)

*Re: re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my de*

...


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

*re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my depres*

A lot of people on SAS have unrealistically negative views of their looks, finding faults that nobody except them sees.

Go out in public and look around. Most of the folks you see aren't going to win any beauty contest, so being not perfect makes one just like most others.


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## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

*Re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my depres*



odd_one_out said:


> [quote="stephanie-s":d0219] We also did some weird quizes in younger classes and the boys had to rate the girls looks and girls boys looks.
> I was on the last place, of course.


WTF?
[/quote:d0219]

exactly


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## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

*Re: re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my de*



D.B. Cooper said:


> This is normal for younger female types. Something weird happens in the female brain during the whole teenage/post-teenage years that makes them hate their physical appearance and do silly things like write live journals.


You know, the 'weird' thing that happens to our brains is that we are bombarded with images of impossible beauty. Every day, wherever we go we are confronted with airbrushed models and the message that if you don't look like that you are somehow faulty, inferior. If only you knew how relieved so many of us felt when we saw the Dove video on youtube.

And Stephanie, you are very pretty. I think a lot of people have been very mean to you. Get couselling if you can I think it would really help you :hug


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## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

*Re: re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my de*

:dd


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## Derekgnr (Nov 9, 2003)

*re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my depres*

You are quite attractive. I don't know why people who look good think they're ugly. I'm ugly though and I just don't think it, it's a fact.


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## aznboi719 (Jan 20, 2007)

i think im urgly

and i i think im not good enough

which is why im always frustrate and sad


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## random889 (Feb 6, 2007)

Whenever I look at myself for a lengthy period of time in the mirror all I see is my faults. 
But I've learned to stop comparing myself to other people. I think once you can do that, you won't think you're ugly at all, as difficult as it may seem.


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## shy_girl (Dec 12, 2006)

*Re: re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my de*



Derekgnr said:


> You are quite attractive. I don't know why people who look good think they're ugly. I'm ugly though and I just don't think it, it's a fact.


Well if someone tells you you're ugly (especially a teacher) you have a tendency to believe it. I've been told by ppl that I'm ugly, and by others that I'm attractive. Who am I to know who to believe. I have stopped worrying about appearances though, it matters less the older you get.

Ps if thats your picture in you avatar, then i can say you're not ugly.


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## Derekgnr (Nov 9, 2003)

*re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my depres*

Yeah that's my unclear picture in my avatar.


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## shy_girl (Dec 12, 2006)

*Re: re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my de*



Derekgnr said:


> Yeah that's my unclear picture in my avatar.


There you go then! You're not as bad as you think you are, you're actually a bit cute!


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## Derekgnr (Nov 9, 2003)

*re: I hate my appearance,because its the reason of my depres*

Keyword=unclear :b But thanks


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## shann singh (May 24, 2013)

*i hate my face little.......it sucks*

Hlo frnds......u noe i hate my apperance .....i got gud height....my muscles are ldo well growed......my physice is lso gud....but i hate my face......smtimes i think f usin drugs bt i stop.........smtimes want to die.......i dont feel like diz if i am in some another place but i live smong those ppls that are very preet....dat sucks me more.......sonetimes i think dea is no god..........


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## ArnoldNevsky (May 24, 2013)

I cannot see how anyone could call you ugly, in reference to your visitors though, do your family have black hair? I only ask because in some cultures light hair is revered as beautiful and in others ugly, you might just have encountered this culture, but you shouldn't ever feel bad about it, no one can comment on looks because everyone is insecure, some people much more than you.


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