# BF's friends ignore me



## Waifu

They don't appear to like me or want to talk to me or do things with me and it makes me really sad because I need friends and I'm with him and they like him so why shouldn't they try to get along with me and talk to me it's like whenever they're around no one talks to me they all just talk and joke and I feel excluded and they wont see me if he's not around if they come over and he's not there they wont stay and keep me company they'll just leave and come back later when he's around and I've done nothing to make them not like me I'm just such a boring loser I guess.


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## Waifu

I hate having no one to talk to while my boyfriend has so many people to talk to. Not even our roommates talk to me but I'm pretty sure they actually hate me so that's understandable.


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## Just Here

That sucks.

Have you tried making extra effort towards being there friend. I know this sounds lame but most guys like food. Ever try to make a batch of cookies are some other goodies that they would like. You don't stop your bf from doing things with them or making him take you with them and it's an all guy thing. Some guys also stay a way from there friends gf because they don't want there friend to think they may be hitting on you.


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## Nada

Is your BF's friends guys? I know as a guy I wouldn't hang around my friends GF.


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## Waifu

Nada said:


> Is your BF's friends guys? I know as a guy I wouldn't hang around my friends GF.


Why not?


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## Nada

Waifu said:


> Why not?


Do I need to really explain? Obviously you see nothing wrong with it so do what you want.


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## TicklemeRingo

Are they religious?


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## Waifu

TicklemeRingo said:


> Are they religious?


Not that I know of but I don't think there any religious rules about not being friends so why would that matter?


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## TicklemeRingo

Waifu said:


> so why would that matter?


They might be the type of religious people that don't like making friends with non-religious people.


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## Waifu

TicklemeRingo said:


> They might be the type of religious people that don't like making friends with non-religious people.


Nah his friends are all from work not church. What he tells me about them I think they have more in common with me than him but they won't give me a chance.


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## TheHaxanCloak

Have you asked your BF what his friends think about you? Have you asked him if he could hint at them to be nicer to you, and give you a chance?

It really is that simple. People spend so much time contemplating, making assumptions, being cynical or negative, when some times all they have to do is have a conversation or ask a question. Don't be passive. Don't drive yourself crazy over this until you ask your BF what the deal is.

There's many reasons why they might ignore you. 99% of them are negative, and I dont want to list them because I'm sure most of it is common sense, and I don't want to offend you. Just remember that not every one is going to like you, and his friends dont suddenly belong to you just because you enter a relationship with him.

A slightly "positive" reason(I use that term loosely!) they avoid you isnt because you suck, but might because your boyfriends friends are guys.
And you are a girl.
You apparently dont see this as a problem, and that either means you're in a great, trusting relationship, or you're just oblivious. 

I have a guy friend who is outgoing, blunt, and assertive. He let me know he'd appreciate it if I dont talk to his girlfriends or hang out with them. He has control issues, and unfortunately lots of other men and women do ,too. I dont agree with his style of controlling relationships or isolating his girl from other guys, but I respect his request. 
Honestly though, I find the idea of one of my best guy friends being friends with my girlfriend to be very awkward. If they hung out when I wasnt around, I can see how it'd be a little weird, and eventually chip away at our friendship. I say this as a guy that generally let's my GF's have complete freedom and go to bars alone with HER own friends - guys included. Most guys aren't nearly as laid back in their beliefs as I am.

For all you know, your BF requested that they dont hang out alone with you. Or they're doing it on their own because they respect this guy and don't want to do anything to lose that bro-on-bro bond.

This is literally why the concept of couples hanging out with other couples was invented. Hang out with other couples over dinner, or boardgames/movies at home, a bbq, random outdoor adventure, whatever. 

Stop caring about his guy friends, even if they are people you have to encounter often. Clearly they're just making you dislike yourself, so just step away from that and let the bros have their bro time


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## KimThanh

Sorry to hear what you're going through but as mentionned above, take a step back, this isn't your crowd...

In my opinion, your BF is rather insensitive to have all of his buddies over while you don't have any friends do the same (apparently, I'm only assuming?). Or maybe he's expecting you to at least try to have your own friends? I don't know how things work over there but it sounds like you both need to communicate better about this. Don't wallow in self-loathing just because you're being rejected in these situations. So unless you do want to be friends with his friends (do you share common interests?) you need to find your own way to enjoy yourself while they come over. Being sad and lonely would be toxic for your relationship because you can't guilt your BF into changing his bro friends.


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## Waifu

I don't know how he'd expect me to find my own friends when I never do anything that would help me meet other people like going to school or working so he should try to make his friends be my friends too.


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