# Had a good therapy session today



## CrazyPills (Oct 15, 2010)

I just wanted to share what i talked about in therapy today.

I'm currently working on my self esteem and my fear of being judged by other people. today my therapist asked me why i am afraid of people criticizing me. i didnt have an answer for her at first. but then i thought back to grade school and when i was bullied. i never thought much about the fact that i was bullied. yea, it sucked when it happened but i just came to the conclusion that some people like to be mean. but then i thought, what was _I _doing that caused them to pick me as their target? i used to think it was just because i was always the quiet girl in class. but now that i really think about it, they never laughed at me for being quiet. they never joked about me being shy. when i was that young, i did what i wanted. i played the games that i enjoyed, wore the clothes that i liked and focused everything on my one passion. i exposed the person that i really was. and i'll admit, i was a little different but i didnt know that at the time. and since i came off as a little strange, _that's_ the reason they ridiculed me. AND since i learned that being myself leads to negative criticism, i developed a fear of letting other people see my true colors.

Making this connection was big for me. i know other people have been bullied and maybe others have figured this out already about themselves or about others. but it was news to me and i feel pretty good for making another discovery about why i am the person that i am.


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

*hmm*

Well done for making such a discovery.

You learned something but you also generalised. Some very nasty people, for whatever reason, bullied you for being yourself (or the person you were at that time). You then learned that exposing the real you meant you'd be bullied but you assumed everybody would give you the same reaction as these people would. Which was a false learning. I do not wish to step into or over the work of a therapist but I wonder if you can think now of times in your life when you have exposed the real you and been loved for it, liked for it, appreciated for it etc. Because those are learnings too. Some people are going to unfairly judge you and that's okay, they have to be allowed to make that mistake and you don't mind them making mistakes about you as we all make mistakes. But their mistakes do not change the real you and you know the truth about yourself as a good person as worthy of love and respect as anyone else. So, really take the time to enjoy these new learnings because you're well on the way to making positive changes in your life.


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## mjhea0 (Oct 1, 2009)

Great Job! 

It feels so good when you make a breakthrough in therapy, no matter the size. In your case you've found a part of your past that still influences the present. By brushing up against those past memories and current beliefs, I believe you've opened up space for change. It will take time. Keep at it!


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## droen (Jul 27, 2010)

I'm really happy for you! I know how it feels to have a breakthrough like that. It really gives you something a little more concrete to think about and work on. :clap


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## CrazyPills (Oct 15, 2010)

joinmartin said:


> Well done for making such a discovery.
> 
> I do not wish to step into or over the work of a therapist but I wonder if you can think now of times in your life when you have exposed the real you and been loved for it, liked for it, appreciated for it etc. Because those are learnings too. Some people are going to unfairly judge you and that's okay, they have to be allowed to make that mistake and you don't mind them making mistakes about you as we all make mistakes. But their mistakes do not change the real you and you know the truth about yourself as a good person as worthy of love and respect as anyone else. So, really take the time to enjoy these new learnings because you're well on the way to making positive changes in your life.


you're right that not everyone will judge me badly for being myself. i'm happy that i can see that now. it's going to take alot for me to feel comfortable with myself but i cant wait for the day that i do!


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