# Would you marry a woman who's had an abortion



## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

Inspired by this thread.


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## Luna Sea (Apr 4, 2012)

Yuh. You can't draw much from that information, but it means they're almost certainly not a "pro-life" nutjob, which is nice.


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## Tentative (Dec 27, 2011)

Yes, but I'd certainly want to know under which circumstances she decided to get one.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

What if you didn't know she had one? Most people aren't going to admit it or be open about it.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Yeah. I don't care if she had an abortion or not.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I think something like 40% of women will have an abortion in their lifetime. People just don't talk about it. I don't hide the fact that I've had two.


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## Black And Mild (Apr 11, 2011)

**** no


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## Cletis (Oct 10, 2011)

Maybe. I'd prefer not to but I'm in desperate straits so I can't be picky. LOL

Depends on who she is and her situation, I guess. :stu


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

It's not a dealbreaker.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Why this would be a deal breaker for anyone is perplexing to be.


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

I wouldn't care, maybe she'll be more open to an abortion if I accidently inject her with my love juice.


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

Does marriage have to be part of the option? Can't I just love her without the wedlock? :um


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## SuperSky (Feb 16, 2011)

No... Because I'm straight.


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## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

Yep. Considering I'd more or less demand another if there were somehow an accident while we were together...


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

Some men are against abortion. I couldn't be with someone that is pro life and was against it bleh...


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## MindOverMood (Dec 12, 2009)

No, because she'll be a virgin.. ;P




And I'll probably never get married.


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## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

I wouldn't really think of it as being a major factor in whether I get married or not.


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## Tewlsy (Jun 26, 2012)

I'd definitely want to hear a good explanation before I just shrugged it off.


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## Dastardly (Jun 26, 2012)

For those who said no, would you rather she had a child?


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## rambo (Nov 14, 2010)

yea why not?


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

Yes, as a pro-choicer feminist chauvinist *******, who respects womens' bull**** rights, it wouldn't factor into anything ****ing important. 

That said, I will most likely never get married, but if I do impregnate someone by accidental foreseeable failure, I hope she will agree on getting an abortion.

Edit: Some of what I write is just to entertain myself, even in serious topics. So ignore the prattle that is doing battle with your pseudo psyche.


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## Puppet Master (Jan 1, 2012)

Yeah sure wouldn't bother me in the least.


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## Amorphousanomaly (Jun 20, 2012)

As a woman I feel free to not care about how men feel about women who may have gotten abortions. I will also myself refrain from forming an opinion of any kind about women who have had abortions.


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## strawberryjulius (Jun 28, 2009)

I wouldn't marry anyone. But I'd be fine with a girlfriend who's had one.


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## Resonance (Feb 11, 2010)

SuperSky said:


> No... Because I'm straight.


:lol


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## windchimes (Jun 26, 2012)

*If I were gay or a man, no.*

For several reasons, i would not want her to ABORT my child and she may do that if she feels it was a mistake...since I see all human life as precious and deserving a chance to form and live on, I would not pony up with someone who did not hold such an important value, did not share that with me, of course if she did and was really sorry bout it and would never do it again, and meant it, then I be ok with that cause we all do make mistakes in life, what matters if we turn from them and acknowledge it that is what matters, just my TWO CENTS!


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## Dane (Jul 27, 2009)

Dastardly said:


> For those who said no, would you rather she had a child?


Much rather.

If she had had an abortion at a young age and later regretted it, that would be ok, but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a woman who would still consider it an option.

It's one thing to think that abortion should be legal, but it's something else entirely to be personally willing to have one. I would want a girlfriend or wife to be at least as soft-hearted as I am, and I will go to a lot of trouble to avoid killing insects; there's no way I would ever kill something that's arguably a human being.


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## successful (Mar 21, 2009)

I'll think she's a Smart woman.


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## hoddesdon (Jul 28, 2011)

No - I would wonder about what sort of person she was.


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## Pennywise (Aug 18, 2011)

No. But it wouldn't have anything to do with her having an abortion. I just don't believe in marriage.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

JustThisGuy said:


> Does marriage have to be part of the option? Can't I just love her without the wedlock? :um


No!


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## Ventura (May 5, 2009)

Tewlsy said:


> I'd definitely want to hear a good explanation before I just shrugged it off.


Yeah, Abortions aren't something you think to do "lightly", I agree an explanation to at least more forward would be needed. Someone who admits to having an abortion or many and think it's not a big deal, would be alarming to me. (someone who regrets it and had no choice- ect, or had reason) I guess, I could work with it. <If I was a guy>.


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## Nogy (Feb 13, 2011)

No.

The fact that she has had an abortion has nothing to do with my answer, i'm pro-choice.


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## Black And Mild (Apr 11, 2011)

Dastardly said:


> For those who said no, would you rather she had a child?


I wouldn't consider a woman that has had either marriage material...

But aye, I'm only a 19 year old guy with SA. So I don't think my opinion counts for too much, lol.


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## kosherpiggy (Apr 7, 2010)

yes


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## Secretaz (Sep 10, 2011)

I would if I was lesbian or bi.


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

Nope 2 reasons why:

1. I don't want to get married
2. What? she couldn't use a condom? How absent minded do you have to be get pregnant? (the only logical exceptions are rape or a torn condom) 

But then again any woman can lie and tell you she was using protection rather then admitting to her foolishness.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

Dissonance said:


> Nope 2 reasons why:
> 
> 1. I don't want to get married
> 2. What? she couldn't use a condom? How absent minded do you have to be get pregnant? (the only logical exceptions are rape or a torn condom)
> ...


I'm sure plenty of people get pregnant while using condoms or birth control...it happened to me. What reason is there to lie? **** happens. Plus, gotta love how you blame ONLY the woman for getting pregnant when clearly it takes a male to get her pregnant...both she and the male would be at fault there. But, birth control and condoms can fail. I know this from experience.


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## meeps (Dec 5, 2011)

Dissonance said:


> Nope 2 reasons why:
> 
> 1. I don't want to get married
> 2. What? she couldn't use a condom? How absent minded do you have to be get pregnant? (the only logical exceptions are rape or a torn condom)
> ...


There's still a chance of getting pregnant even while using birth control. 14% fail rate for condoms , 5% for oral contraceptives.
http://www.americanpregnancy.org/preventingpregnancy/birthcontrolfailure.html



Shauna The Dead said:


> Plus, gotta love how you blame ONLY the woman for getting pregnant when clearly it takes a male to get her pregnant...both she and the male would be at fault there.


Yeah I liked that too:lol


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## MachineSupremacist (Jun 9, 2012)

Yes, and it would be rude to ask about it or for details.


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## MoniqueS (Feb 21, 2011)

My blood pressure is already rising. I'm a very much pro-choice. And I say that as someone who has never had an abortion and hope to never be in that position. But I am someone who definitely does not want to have children, so if accidents or situations happen, and they do all the time, I am someone who would have one. But I do not take it lightly. And I do not think anyone woman should. Ultimately, for all the women out there, it is your body and it is your choice. I personally think it is much worse to bring a child into the world if you aren't prepared and absolutely committed to it. 

All that being said, it is perfectly fine that someone may or may not want to marry me if I've had an abortion, because I can for sure say I would have no interest in marrying them in the first place.


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## Gordom (Aug 17, 2009)

Wow...Parts of this thread are just perplexing. While people are going to disagree and have valid points on both sides of the _all life is precious and begins at conception _*versus* _a woman has the right to choose- it's her body and the decision should be between the patient and physician rather than the politicians_ debate, there are a few posts on here that seem to be taking the stance that being "pro life" is some sort of character flaw or that seem to be viewing abortions as no big deal.

I would certainly hope that anyone who had an abortion would have some sense of regret in doing so rather than looking at it as casually as getting a haircut. People are imperfect and make all kinds of mistakes in their lives, many that involve circumstances in which unbelievably tough decisions have to be made. It would be a lack of recognition, comprehension, or concern over how serious of a matter abortion is that would raise a huge red flag to me concerning a woman's character over and above whether a woman had actually had an abortion or not. Truthfully, I would have a hard time trusting someone who took abortion so casually. With all that said, my initial gut reaction to this interesting question is *no*.


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## Dark Alchemist (Jul 10, 2011)

Gordom said:


> I would certainly hope that anyone who had an abortion would have some sense of regret in doing so rather than looking at it as casually as getting a haircut.


Why should all women regret their abortions? Do you really think there's no middle ground between regretting and casually brushing it off? Ridiculous.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

It's far worse to eat meat than have an abortion.


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## Gordom (Aug 17, 2009)

Dark Alchemist said:


> Why should all women regret their abortions? Do you really think there's no middle ground between regretting and casually brushing it off? Ridiculous.


I would think (and hope) that most people would not want to be in the position to have to make that very heavy decision in the first place and would have some ethical/moral/practical sense of the fact that deciding whether a human life is brought to term or not is a very serious decision.

So, yes in that sense, I would think there would be a sense of regret in having an unplanned pregnancy which would result in having to face such a heavy decision (with major consequences either way) at all. I don't see how it's ridiculous to have a sense of regret and for the person who faces that decision to stop and reflect that some lifestyle and decision-making changes are in order so that the abortion decision won't have to keep coming up. Of course, the responsibility for why a woman is facing an unplanned pregnancy obviously doesn't originate entirely from her.


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## Dark Alchemist (Jul 10, 2011)

Gordom said:


> I would think (and hope) that most people would not want to be in the position to have to make that very heavy decision in the first place and would have some ethical/moral/practical sense of the fact that deciding whether a human life is brought to term or not is a very serious decision.
> 
> So, yes in that sense, I would think there would be a sense of regret in having an unplanned pregnancy which would result in having to face such a heavy decision (with major consequences either way) at all. I don't see how it's ridiculous to have a sense of regret and for the person who faces that decision to stop and reflect that some lifestyle and decision-making changes are in order so that the abortion decision won't have to keep coming up. Of course, the responsibility for why a woman is facing an unplanned pregnancy obviously doesn't originate entirely from her.


Well dealing with an unwanted pregnancy is not a desirable situation to be in, I agree with that. But the way you wrote it, you seemed to be saying that having an abortion (but not giving birth or doing adoption) should come with automatic regret.


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## Gordom (Aug 17, 2009)

Dark Alchemist said:


> Well dealing with an unwanted pregnancy is not a desirable situation to be in, I agree with that. But the way you wrote it, you seemed to be saying that having an abortion (but not giving birth or doing adoption) should come with automatic regret.


Understood. And this is definitely one of those touchy situations and topics that people have strong convictions about (and make some really good points either way) and where good people can disagree.


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## Daktoria (Sep 21, 2010)

No way, hands down.

A woman who has an abortion is a hedonist, libertine, and opportunist. I don't want that sort of woman in my life at all nevermind in the closest of intimacy.


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

Yes, it wouldnt make any difference to me.


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## meeps (Dec 5, 2011)

Daktoria said:


> A woman who has an abortion is a hedonist, libertine, and opportunist.


uke


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

If I was looking to get married, I'd marry any woman I felt like marrying.


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

Shauna The Dead said:


> I'm sure plenty of people get pregnant while using condoms or birth control...it happened to me. What reason is there to lie? **** happens. Plus, gotta love how you blame ONLY the woman for getting pregnant when clearly it takes a male to get her pregnant...both she and the male would be at fault there. But, birth control and condoms can fail. I know this from experience.





meeps said:


> There's still a chance of getting pregnant even while using birth control. 14% fail rate for condoms , 5% for oral contraceptives.
> http://www.americanpregnancy.org/preventingpregnancy/birthcontrolfailure.html
> 
> Yeah I liked that too:lol


But see if you paid attention you would understand my underlying message: "If she at least didn't try to get pregnant and used protection and she isn't at fault as someone who just foolishly had unprotected sex knowingly."

Yes the guy is at fault as well, then they are both idiots. (if they had unprotected sex) I probably wouldn't even know the guy so why would I care? They are just partners in crime, both empty headed people for not being careful.


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## Luna Sea (Apr 4, 2012)

Gordom said:


> I would think (and hope) that most people would not want to be in the position to have to make that very heavy decision in the first place and would have some ethical/moral/practical sense of the fact that deciding whether a human life is brought to term or not is a very serious decision.


I feel pretty much the same way, but have pretty much exactly the opposite view. People should think incredibly carefully about the decision to actually have a child. That's a human life that you're deciding to bring into this world and a person that will have to live with your decision. If you have an abortion, it affects only you; I think abortion should be the default choice unless you're sure having a child is absolutely the right decision.


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## sleepytime (Feb 18, 2011)

I don't see why not.


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## Dark Alchemist (Jul 10, 2011)

Daktoria said:


> No way, hands down.
> 
> A woman who has an abortion is a hedonist, libertine, and opportunist. I don't want that sort of woman in my life at all nevermind in the closest of intimacy.


:roll


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## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

TristanS said:


> I feel pretty much the same way, but have pretty much exactly the opposite view. People should think incredibly carefully about the decision to actually have a child. That's a human life that you're deciding to bring into this world and a person that will have to live with your decision. If you have an abortion, it affects only you; I think abortion should be the default choice unless you're sure having a child is absolutely the right decision.


Too much truth here. I genuinely feel abortion can be the morally correct choice (insofar as I believe in "morality," at least :lol) in some situations, which is a big reason why I support upholding its legality.

Life in and of itself should not be granted so much inherent value that it takes precedence over the prevention of major, long-term suffering.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

BananaCat said:


> :clap


It's just so hypocritical to say abortion is wrong while munching on a hamburger. And then women who have had abortions are supposed to keep it hush hush and be embarrassed and full of regret about it. That's why I don't feel shy about talking about my abortions. I don't see anyone hiding the fact that they eat burgers or hotdogs.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

The only woman I ever loved (and lost) had two abortions in her past.

I'd actually deem that a positive. It demonstrates that she really doesn't want kids.

The idea of a woman entrapping a man into being a father is something I find very troubling. Perhaps she forgets to take the pill one day -- nothing intentional at all, we all forget things. Well, let's say that do to that forgotten pill she becomes pregnant.

I'd like to have a high degree of confidence that she'd abort & prior abortions are as strong an indicator of her willingness to abort as anything could be.

I'd fear that a woman would change her mind & decide she wants to give birth. After all, after the "sperm donor" makes his deposit all choice from there forward are her's alone: her choice to abort or carry to term. Nature is unfair to me in this regard, leaving men with the risk of becoming a father when they don't want to be. A woman can't be forced into becoming a mother -- she has abortion as an alternative.

Please understand that I'm not being a sexist pig. I'm not blaming women. I'm merely noting that this is how nature works. In some situations nature screws women, in this case nature has decided to screw men with the risk of unwanted fatherhood.


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## jonmorris73 (May 24, 2012)

.


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## iamwhoiam (May 14, 2012)

I did marry someone who had an abortion from a previous relationship. But she wasn't nonchalant about it. She hated having done it. Couldn't have married someone who thought it was no big deal.


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## MaxPower (May 1, 2012)

Yes, and unless she wants to talk about it, it's none of my business.


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## yourfavestoner (Jan 14, 2010)

No, I wouldn't marry anyone who isn't pro-life.


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## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

It wouldn't make any difference. I'd be more concerned if she wore non colorfast clothes. When I was younger and pro life I would have dumped her and maybe shame her, but I've turned my opinion around.


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## surviving (Oct 2, 2015)

Who cares?


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

There would be some discussion. She would know everything about me. At least I would be glad she told me.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

surviving said:


> Who cares?


I was thinking the same thing.

I realise it's an old thread but how do people come up with these threads? This one's mind-boggling to any reasonably normal human being. People actually consider this sort of nonsense?


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## regimes (Aug 24, 2011)

there are a lot of weird subcultures that are obsessed with women's vaginas and what they do with them. 
i think i saw once that men shouldn't marry a woman if she's ever masturbated.


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## Richard83 (Aug 14, 2012)

Why the hell would I care? Why the hell would anyone care?


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