# Corrupt-A-Wish



## Mr Mug (Sep 13, 2011)

Simple to play, simply grant the person above you a corrupted version of their wish. Then of course post your own wish for the next person to corrupt.

Example.

A: I wish I had pet dog.
B: Granted, but it turns out it was a crocodile in disguise.

Okay then.

I wish I had a helper monkey to do the dishes for me.


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## DAM71392 (Jan 28, 2012)

but it turns out it ends up breaking the dishes


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## Ashley1990 (Aug 27, 2011)

i wish the dishes turn out into monkeys every night in ur kitchen hehe..!!!


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Ashley1990:1059707693 said:


> i wish the dishes turn out into monkeys every night in ur kitchen hehe..!!!


Granted, but turns out they were just turning into monkey dishes not into monkeys

I wish I could visit the past


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## whatevzers (Jan 26, 2012)

Granted, but you go too far back and visit the dinosaurs 

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener


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## Dannie (Feb 21, 2012)

Granted, but you are unfortunately cooked and eaten lol

I wish I had a new pair of shoes


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## FireIsTheCleanser (Aug 16, 2011)

Granted, but the shoes are for old men

I wish I could fly


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## DAM71392 (Jan 28, 2012)

Granted but u get hit by a oncoming Plane :evil :haha


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## olschool (Sep 3, 2011)

I wish I had 1 billion dollars


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## shelbster18 (Oct 8, 2011)

Granted, but the money is monopoly money. :stu lol

I wish I could have an invisible cloak.


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## Mr Mug (Sep 13, 2011)

Granted, but you'll have to wait 120 years for postage.

I wish I had a nice hat.


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## FireIsTheCleanser (Aug 16, 2011)

Granted, but it's a **** skin hat.... that's still alive

I wish I had a dog that could talk


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Granted but your dog tends to curse every second of the day 

I wish the sky was purple


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## FireIsTheCleanser (Aug 16, 2011)

RawrJessiRawr said:


> Granted but your dog tends to curse every second of the day
> 
> I wish the sky was purple


Granted, but that's because the world is ending

I wish Skittles fell out of rainbows like in the commercials


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## Tentative (Dec 27, 2011)

Granted, but too many Skittles fell at once, and a lot of people drowned in the sea of Skittles.

I wish to be 22 years old forever.


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## whatevzers (Jan 26, 2012)

Granted, but your wife ages and grows much older than you, causing you to get a new wife, which then grows older as well.

I wish dragons were real.


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## Akili (Feb 5, 2012)

Granted, except...um...they're dragons. The village-burning, gold-hoarding kind. Rawr. Bad.

I wish I could play the violin.


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## shelbster18 (Oct 8, 2011)

Granted, but you will be playing the violin constantly without stopping.

I wish I could live in pie land.


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## Akili (Feb 5, 2012)

Granted: you're made very tiny and placed on a fresh pumpkin pie. And promptly eaten.

I wish tomorrow to be a snow day.


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## FireIsTheCleanser (Aug 16, 2011)

Granted, but it snows so much you get stuck in your home, and you use up all your rations after the heat and electricity goes out so you die a slow miserable death

I wish that radiation worked the way it did in comic books and give you a superpower


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## Mr Mug (Sep 13, 2011)

Granted, but unfortunately you get radiation poisoning along with your superpower.

I wish I had a really good sandwich that won't poison me or kill me or turn me into something else.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Mr Mug said:


> Granted, but unfortunately you get radiation poisoning along with your superpower.
> 
> I wish I had a really good sandwich that won't poison me or kill me or turn me into something else.


Granted, but the sandwich still made you sick anyway.

I wish my Hornets would win 10 NBA championships.


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## Akili (Feb 5, 2012)

Granted, but only because the world ended in nuclear hellfire, and the Hornets players were the only ones to survive. They've been staging little fake NBA championships each year as a way to stay sane.

I wish I could toggle between states of invisibility and visibility at any time of my choosing.

(I really wanted to Ctrl+V this, but I think that would be cruel.)


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## mapthesoul (Nov 2, 2010)

Granted, upon going from being invisible to visible, only your bottom half of your body will be visible and the rest of your body will be invisible... Errm, forever.

I wish my hands looked nicer.


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## HarryStanluv25 (Jan 26, 2012)

They will turn into solid gold hands which people will then want to saw off and make money from.

I wish I could visit England.


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Granted but you get jailed there and they won't let you out 

I wish pigs could fly


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## HarryStanluv25 (Jan 26, 2012)

Granted, but they'll sh*t on you when in the air.

I wish I could get a cupcake today.


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## squidlette (Jan 9, 2012)

Granted, but it's three months old and covered in mold.

I wish I could keep a 4.0 GPA until I finish school.

(ETA: Darn it, why do I keep commenting on threads right when somebody else does? lol)

Bob, I grant yours too. You're now a mod and have the power to close that thread. Unfortunately, nobody wants to visit the forum ever again after you do so.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Granted, but a D has messed up your perfect GPA.

I wish I was a mod so I'd close (and win) the Last Post Wins Thread.


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## squidlette (Jan 9, 2012)

Well, now it just looks weird because I granted your wish before you asked it. lol forum time travel....


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

squidlette said:


> Well, now it just looks weird because I granted your wish before you asked it. lol forum time travel....


Sorry, I messed up and posted at the same time. But this is a popular new thread, which is probably why it happened. I deleted my previous post just to make sense


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## squidlette (Jan 9, 2012)

Well, to get it back on track, I guess I should make a new wish.....

I wish I could time travel in real life too! :-D


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Granted, but you have no way to time travel back. Your family will miss you dearly.

I wish I was President.


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## Fruitcake (Jan 19, 2012)

Granted, but the apocalypse comes while the world is under your leadership and now you are president of the only species left - cockroaches.

I wish to be a turtle.


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Granted but you get stuck on your back and can't get back up.

I wish for time to freeze


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## bn4now (Jan 5, 2012)

Time to freeze? Okay, but being in the freezer that long causes your electric bill to go way up.

I wish that trees could get up, move, and walk around.


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## Onomatopoeia (May 27, 2011)

Granted, but lumberjacks are now jobless and the protests are turning into coup d'etats.
We may have another French Revolution on our hands and I'm not 'heading' for the guillotine!

I wish I could be a professional tennis player.


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## SuperSky (Feb 16, 2011)

Granted, but the first time you make a televised appearance, you trip over a ball, slide into the net, and manage to split your pants down the back. You go on to win the match, but that's not what the public remembers.

I wish I could have waffles for breakfast every second day.


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## shelbster18 (Oct 8, 2011)

Granted, but you swell up like a balloon and float in to the air and never come back down.

I wish I could walk super fast like the kid in The Incredibles.


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## squidlette (Jan 9, 2012)

Granted, but now you can't STOP. Spending the rest of your life surrounded by speed blurs gets awfully boring, awfully fast.

I wish my cats would clean the apartment while I'm at school so I don't ever have to clean anything ever again....


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## FireIsTheCleanser (Aug 16, 2011)

Granted except they cleaned it into a "cat" apartment and everything is a scratching post, and high up

I wish I had a monkey sidekick


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## whatevzers (Jan 26, 2012)

Granted, but the monkey soon grew tired of being a sidekick and quickly turned you into his sidekick :lol 

I wish for I had an unlimited amount of wishes


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## Ashley1990 (Aug 27, 2011)

garanted..
the more they come true the tripple they increase!!


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Ashley1990:1059714128 said:


> garanted..
> the more they come true the tripple they increase!!


You didn't make a wish


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## Ashley1990 (Aug 27, 2011)

i wish to marry harry potter!!


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## fallen18 (Aug 25, 2011)

Granted but before your wedding voldemort kills him (sorry Harry)


I wish I had a pet cat.


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## Ashley1990 (Aug 27, 2011)

i wish it turns into an elephant every night...

i wish to kill voldemort


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## fallen18 (Aug 25, 2011)

Aww I love elephants though lol but granted but all the Horcruxs haven't been found so after you kill him he still manages to back. 

I wish could go to london.


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Granted but you run into werewolfs 

I wish I could be on tv


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## DAM71392 (Jan 28, 2012)

:duel


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## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted.
You're going to be on the show WipeOut.

I wish I could own a Dodge Viper.


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## Mr Mug (Sep 13, 2011)

Granted but it burns through a tank of petrol every 10 minutes of driving.

I wish my nipples could talk.


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## kanra (Nov 27, 2011)

Granted but all they ever talk about is how annoying your shirt is.

I wish this stupid school project was never assigned.


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## shelbster18 (Oct 8, 2011)

Granted, but the teacher yells at you every day in class and turns into the hulk. 

I wish it was thunder and windy and raining here late at night at least a few times a month.


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## Syndacus (Aug 9, 2011)

Granted. A giant woman slaps her thighs, and blows you away with her farts, and rains on you with poo chunks.

I wish it was summer already.


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## Akili (Feb 5, 2012)

Granted via accelerated global warming.

I wish I had some cups so I didn't have to drink this Pepsi out of the bottle. Like some kind of bachelor or something.


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## Tentative (Dec 27, 2011)

Granted, but the cups are cursed, and break upon the touch of a hand.

I wish for the entire world to be destroyed. :b


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## NoName99 (Jul 3, 2011)

Granted, but not for another billion years.

I wish the person below me all the best.


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## DAM71392 (Jan 28, 2012)

thanx bro :hug


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## Syndacus (Aug 9, 2011)

Granted. You're a blank piece of space.

I wish she would come over.


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## Akili (Feb 5, 2012)

Granted but oh btw she's a zombie now

I wish I were impervious to fall damage.


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## NoName99 (Jul 3, 2011)

Ok, you're a rubber ball.
I wish I had chocolate cake.


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## Tentative (Dec 27, 2011)

Granted, but it's not really chocolate...just taste it.

I wish to be an airplane.


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## Jnmcda0 (Nov 28, 2003)

Tentative said:


> I wish to be an airplane.


Granted, but you are the Spruce Goose and never get to fly.
I wish for a new watch.


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## kanra (Nov 27, 2011)

Granted, but once it reaches 12 the whole day rewinds and you have to repeat the same day again and again forever.

I wish I didn't have insomnia.


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## Mr Mug (Sep 13, 2011)

Granted, now you have hypersomnia instead.

I wish the person below me would give me a hug. :blush


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## NoName99 (Jul 3, 2011)

:squeeze Granted, but I want it back now please, it's mine.
Wish I could time travel.


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## Tentative (Dec 27, 2011)

Granted, but you can only travel back and forth one second at a time.

I wish my homework was already done.


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## Ohnoes2191 (Aug 26, 2011)

Granted, but it has all the wrong answers, including a mean note to the Professor.

I wish schoolwork were easier.


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## MsDaisy (Dec 27, 2011)

Granted, but you wont ever get smarter.

I wish I was young again.


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## VaeVictis (Jan 18, 2012)

Granted, but you'll age backwards like Benjamin Button.

I wish I could forget the past.


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## MsDaisy (Dec 27, 2011)

Granted...but you will remember mine. 

I wish I was hot.


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## RenegadeReloaded (Mar 12, 2011)

U are hot, your hair is on fire.

I wish I had a pet.


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## Tentative (Dec 27, 2011)

Granted, but your pet is a vicious lion that eats everyone you love, and leaves you without limbs.

I wish to be a god.


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## Jnmcda0 (Nov 28, 2003)

Tentative said:


> I wish to be a god.


Granted, but you are the Greek God Uranus, who was castrated by his own son (and people will forever snicker when they hear your name).

I wish for the Cincinnati Bengals to win the Superbowl.


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## Syndacus (Aug 9, 2011)

Granted. Superbowl ring gets taking away due to players taking performance enhancing drugs.

I wish I had some candy.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Syndacus said:


> Granted. Superbowl ring gets taking away due to players taking performance enhancing drugs.
> 
> I wish I had some candy.


Granted, enjoy your vinegar-flavored candy.

I wish I was famous.


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## Tentative (Dec 27, 2011)

Granted, but you are Paris Hilton.

I wish to be hated by everyone.


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## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted. I HATE YOU!

I wish to be a woman


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## shelbster18 (Oct 8, 2011)

Granted, but you talk like Mr.T :teeth

I wish I knew the answers to everything so my life wouldn't be as stressful.


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Granted but then you go crazy from an overload of knowledge

I wish I had a tattoo


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## avoidobot3000 (Aug 22, 2010)

Granted, but it's the full lyrics to Rebecca Black's _Friday_, on your face.

I wish I could fly.


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## NoName99 (Jul 3, 2011)

Granted, here's a plane ticket.
I wish I was hopelessly stupid.


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## cold fission cure (Aug 31, 2010)

granted, but i read your wish too fast and thought you wrote "homeless and stupid"

i wish that the person who posts below me finds true happiness


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

cold fission cure said:


> granted, but i read your wish too fast and thought you wrote "homeless and stupid"
> 
> i wish that the person who posts below me finds true happiness


Granted. I found true happiness playing a video game I love, but I lost. :no

I wish I was an NFL Player.


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## Mr Mug (Sep 13, 2011)

Granted, but you're always on the bench.

I wish I had a 12 inch pianist.


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## FireIsTheCleanser (Aug 16, 2011)

Granted but he has trouble reaching the keys and the sound doesn't come out good

I wish I could be superstrong without doing anything


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## ChrissyQ (Apr 15, 2009)

avoidobot3000 said:


> Granted, but it's the full lyrics to Rebecca Black's _Friday_, on your face.
> 
> I wish I could fly.


lol!


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

FireIsTheCleanser:1059725795 said:


> Granted but he has trouble reaching the keys and the sound doesn't come out good
> 
> I wish I could be superstrong without doing anything


Granted but with that came extreme anger issues

I wish for pie


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## kaaryn (Dec 16, 2011)

granted, but u get a toothache :/

i wish to clean my house with enthusiasm (dont think i like this game )


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## shelbster18 (Oct 8, 2011)

Granted, but all of your muscles turn rubbery from cleaning too much. 

I wish I had super long hair so I could pay people to ride down my hair. lol


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## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted. But kids leave gum in it all the time.

I wish I could learn more about WickedLovely. And maybe, eventually Propose.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

GameGuy said:


> Granted. But kids leave gum in it all the time.
> 
> I wish I could learn more about WickedLovely. And maybe, eventually Propose.


Granted, but WickedLovely politely rejects the proposal...

I wish for a million dollars.


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## Mr Mug (Sep 13, 2011)

Granted, but it comes in vouchers only redeemable at Baby Gap.

I wish they would take "Please Marry My Boy" off TV, it's just, awful.


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## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted. But it's replaced by another version of Family Guy

I wish I COULD RULE THE WORLD!


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## Tentative (Dec 27, 2011)

Granted, but the world gets destroyed by a giant meteorite before you get the chance to use your power.

I wish to be able to travel at the speed of light.


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Granted but you have to become flash the superhero and never see your loved ones

I wish for some kit kats


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## Flame Sixtyone (Aug 27, 2009)

Granted, but you try one and find out they're made of poop uke

I wish I could carry around a cool-looking gun with me


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## FireIsTheCleanser (Aug 16, 2011)

Granted but it doesn't have a safety feature because that wouldn't make it look cool, so it accidentally goes off and you shoot yourself in the leg


I wish I had a falcon as a pet


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## Mr Mug (Sep 13, 2011)

Granted, but it doesn't like you. (Well, that was easy :b)

I wish an attractive girl would punch me in the face.


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## Venompoo (Jun 16, 2010)

Granted but she was born a man  

I wish I had a freind


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Granted, but that friend annoyingly betrays you.

I wish could never be poor again.


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## Mr Mug (Sep 13, 2011)

Granted, but you become so wealthy that everyone in the world wants to rob you.

I wish I had PVC pants.


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

Granted but they are glued to you and you may NEVER take them off. Since all the complications in that?

I wish I had a psychotic girlfriend who is obsessed with me and wants to murder me.


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## Meta14 (Jan 22, 2012)

She grows to love you, and kills anyone else that spends time with you out of jealousy.

I wish we all lived, in a Pokemon world.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Granted, but it'll be scary yet annoying when you're always attacked by wild Pokemon when you walk through tall grass. :eek

I wish to win the Last Post Wins thread.


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## DAM71392 (Jan 28, 2012)

Granted but turns out that is ur last post ever in ur life :lol


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## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

And your wish is?


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

I wish for a billion dollars.


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## anonymid (Oct 16, 2005)

Granted, but you get it in pennies.

I wish for a better memory.


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## cutter123 (Feb 20, 2012)

Granted, but all your memories are bad. 

I wish i had another wish.


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## Black And Mild (Apr 11, 2011)

cutter123 said:


> Granted, but all your memories are bad.
> 
> I wish i had another wish.


Granted, but that wish and all the proceeding wishes can only be used to wish for another wish. =p

I wish for 1,000,000,000 tax free dollars.


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## bigdan23 (Feb 28, 2012)

Granted, Just ask 1,000,000,000 people for a dollar

I wish I was married to Kim Kardashian


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## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

I wish I could be "bigger"


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## bigdan23 (Feb 28, 2012)

lol not in that way unfortunately


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

bigdan23:1059810368 said:


> Granted, Just ask 1,000,000,000 people for a dollar
> 
> I wish I was married to Kim Kardashian


Granted but the marriage ends just as fast as it started plus nothing good happened between you to

I wish I could be taller


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## ToucanSam (Mar 22, 2012)

Granted, but then you discover that people are a little freaked out that you're 1000-feet tall.

I wish I was more muscular.


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## Brian29 (Mar 30, 2012)

ToucanSam said:


> Granted, but then you discover that people are a little freaked out that you're 1000-feet tall.
> 
> I wish I was more muscular.


Granted, but you have 400 pounds of fat on top of the muscle.

I wish I had a 2012 camaro!


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## ShyGirl123 (Jan 10, 2012)

Brian29 said:


> ToucanSam said:
> 
> 
> > Granted, but then you discover that people are a little freaked out that you're 1000-feet tall.
> ...


Granted, but it won't start!

I wish I was super pretty!


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Granted but your now a barbie doll

I wish for peace


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## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted. But you'll only get a small "peace" from him.










I wish This (^) wasn't true.


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

GameGuy:1059815446 said:


> Granted. But you'll only get a small "peace" from him.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Lol it's funny though


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## Black And Mild (Apr 11, 2011)

GameGuy said:


> Granted. But you'll only get a small "peace" from him.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Granted, but all women die, and men become asexually reproductive.

I wish that I could kick every guy's ***.


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## Aphexfan (Jan 12, 2011)

Black And Mild said:


> Granted, but all women die, and men become asexually reproductive.
> 
> I wish that I could kick every guy's ***.


The guys *** you kick is so big it swallows your foot whole :troll

I wish I could read people's minds


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## Black And Mild (Apr 11, 2011)

Aphexfan said:


> The guys *** you kick is so big it swallows your foot whole :troll
> 
> I wish I could read people's minds


Granted, but you then realize they all are thinking something bad about you.

I wish I could get with any girl in the world.


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## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted, But any girl in the world would NEVER want to get with you.

I wish that I could get with any woman in the world.


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## Brian29 (Mar 30, 2012)

GameGuy said:


> Granted, But any girl in the world would NEVER want to get with you.
> 
> I wish that I could get with any woman in the world.


Granted, but since you're on a deserted island by yourself now, they can't get to you.

I wish I could fly!


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

Granted but you meet your doom pretty quickly when they mistaken you for a missile and shoot you down. 

I wish I wasn't scared of people.


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## Black And Mild (Apr 11, 2011)

Dissonance said:


> Granted but you meet your doom pretty quickly when they mistaken you for a missile and shoot you down.
> 
> I wish I wasn't scared of people.


Granted, but people are afraid of you.

I wish I could slow dance.


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

Granted, but she always steps on your toes.

I wish any wish I make gets corrupted.  (Toughy!)


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## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted.

I wish this wish WOULDN'T get corrupted.


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

Granted, but get nothing.

I wish I was an artist, like a painter or was able to draw.


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## Brian29 (Mar 30, 2012)

Granted, but the only thing you're good at painting is... (think of the movie superbad)

I wish I could survive without eating or drinking.


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## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted. But you become so skinny and small, you get put down from everyone thinking you're a zombie.

I wish I could be the BEST comedian that ever lived.


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## Black And Mild (Apr 11, 2011)

GameGuy said:


> Granted. But you become so skinny and small, you get put down from everyone thinking you're a zombie.
> 
> I wish I could be the BEST comedian that ever lived.


Granted, but laughing in general becomes politically incorrect and then nobody cares to hear your jokes.

I wish I was the best athlete in the world.


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Granted but turns out you were only dreaming

I wish I had a dollar


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## Tentative (Dec 27, 2011)

Granted, but it's only a dollar!

I wish to fall asleep.


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## KelsKels (Oct 4, 2011)

Granted, but youll have terrible realistic nightmares of giant monsters chasing you for dinner.

I wish for a glass of iced tea.


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## Spare Change (Apr 22, 2012)

Granted, but before you get to drink it a little kid bumps into you and you drop it. 

I wish true love existed. (anybody who answers this is going to make a really sad reply. Haha)


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## kanra (Nov 27, 2011)

Granted but the human population becomes so enormous that we all die because of the lack of oxygen.

I wish I was the best guitar player in the world.


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

Granted but no one can hear you.

I wish for something bad to happen to me.


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## KelsKels (Oct 4, 2011)

Granted, but something terrible happens instead. Everyone youve ever known dies, and your wanted by the police for their murder. Even though you didnt commit it.

I wish I had something to do tonight.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Granted, but that thing to do would be very uninteresting.

I wish I was an NFL player.


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## BobbyByThePound (Apr 4, 2012)

Granted but you're Michael Vick.

I wish I was rich and powerful.


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## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted, but the FBI suspects treason and has you murdered.

I wish my wish could be granted WITHOUT it being corrupted.


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## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

OH!
Waffles!
I though you said Luftwaffe.
Is a german airplane okay for breakfast?

I just wish I lived closer to WickedLovely, A.K.A Rae.


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## shelbster18 (Oct 8, 2011)

Granted, but you sleep for the rest of your life and have a never ending nightmare.

I wish I could walk on water.


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## Black And Mild (Apr 11, 2011)

Granted, but just as quick as you clean your basement, a member of your family makes it dirty again. Thus, you are stuck forever cleaning your basement

I wish I could get my hands on a Nvidia GTX 680. (shout outs to my fellow nerds that even know what that is)


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## shelbster18 (Oct 8, 2011)

Granted, but then it breaks and you can never buy a new one again. :stu

I wish I could teleport to someone through the computer.


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## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted, but as soon as you get teleported, your atoms get reversed and you look like snot.

I wish I could raise my pet cat from the dead.


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## Daniel C (Apr 17, 2012)

Granted, but it turns into a zombie cat terrorising the neighbourhood and turning your life into one great horror movie until you beg on your knees for the wish to be undone but at that point it will be too late and the last thing you remember while your brains are eaten is to always be careful what you wish for.
Ahem. 

I wish I'd been born in England.


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## MaxPower (May 1, 2012)

Daniel C said:


> I wish I'd been born in England.


Granted, but you die soon after birth.

I wish that I had a wish.


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## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

Granted but you only have one wish and you cant wish for anything that exists on this planet.

I wish I had a bottle of mercury.


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## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted, but out of confusion, you get the planet instead and die from excessive heat.

I wish...

for a Dodge Viper.


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## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

Granted but it runs you over.

I wish I had Time machine that could only send me back in time to September 2010 and in no way injures, kills or otherwise damages or inconveniences me.


----------



## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted, but right when you hit the "GO" button, a computer malfuntion occures and you get sent back to September 2010 B.C.


----------



## Daniel C (Apr 17, 2012)

Granted, but since you didn't insert a wish you get nothing. 

I wish the weather here finally starts to realise that it's summer.


----------



## Fair Lady (Jul 3, 2012)

Granted, but the temperature increases to 60 degrees and everyone dies of heat.

I wish I lived in an anime world.


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## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

(LOL! 60 DEGREES!!!! That's nearly cold where I live. Try 110 degrees. NOW THAT'S HOT!!)

"I wish I lived in an anime world"

Granted, but Elmer Fudd accidentally shoots you thinking you were "that wascally wabbit!"

I wish for a hug.


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## shelbster18 (Oct 8, 2011)

Granted but a psycho girl hugs you 24/7 for the rest of your life. :b

I wish for a never ending supply of pie.


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## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted, but eventually, all you eat is pie and you become psychotically in love with pie until oneday you bake yourself in the oven trying to become one with the pie.

I wish for... two hay pennies!!


----------



## Gusthebus (May 22, 2012)

Granted, but it turns out they are fake and you get arrested for counterfeiting

I wish I had Godzilla as a pet.


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## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

^LOL!
The Robin Williams quote you have in your sig is HANDS DOWN the FUNNIEST thing I've ever read.


I wish I was that funny.


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## hello world (Jul 9, 2012)

Gusthebus said:


> Granted, but it turns out they are fake and you get arrested for counterfeiting
> 
> I wish I had Godzilla as a pet.


Granted, but it eats you.

I wish I had a pet puppy.


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## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

Granted but it turns out to be an alien

I wish I had a better chair


----------



## Gusthebus (May 22, 2012)

Granted but it turns out to be Donald Trump's chair and you get fired

I wish I had a lightsaber


----------



## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted, but Darth Vader uses the dark side of the force and gives you a LightPenis.


I wish I hadn't come up with that.


----------



## shelbster18 (Oct 8, 2011)

Granted but....um....you did just come up with it and now you will regret it for the rest of your life.

I wish I was a dancing banana.


----------



## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted, you are now a dancing bananana

I wish I had noticed my typo earlier.


----------



## shelbster18 (Oct 8, 2011)

Granted but then you make an even worse typo.

I wish money grew on trees.


----------



## MrQuiet76 (Aug 26, 2011)

Granted, but the money is covered with a flesh-eating virus, rendering it unusable

I wish I could fly.


----------



## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted, but you must realize the Wright Brothers beat you to it.

I wish more people truly believed in GOD.


----------



## MaxPower (May 1, 2012)

Granted, but it was to a different god.

I wish I knew that answer to that what-if question.


----------



## shelbster18 (Oct 8, 2011)

Granted but then your mind explodes from the answer.

I wish I had a talking cat.


----------



## Daniel C (Apr 17, 2012)

True, but it turns out to be both nauseously obscene and boundlessly irritating. Also, it particularly likes to talk at night. 

I wish I owned a private island.


----------



## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted, but then Gilligan forces you off one day and takes over the franchise.

I wish the world could open it's eyes to the beauty and love it still has.


----------



## MrQuiet76 (Aug 26, 2011)

Granted, but then everyone gets an eye infection from opening their eyes too wide for too long and we all go blind

I wish I had some beer.


----------



## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

Granted, but its 35 years old.... 

I wish I could freeze time.


----------



## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted, but the moment before you do, you future in-laws walk through door, and you're forced to star at them for all of eternity.

I wish... for a wish better than this.


----------



## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

Denied you get a worst wish of all time.

I wish for a single hydrogen atom.


----------



## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted, but out of confusion, you end up getting a single Hydrogen Bomb.


I wish Monotony liked summer


----------



## MrQuiet76 (Aug 26, 2011)

Granted, but now he hates all the other seasons

I wish that I wasn't so tired.


----------



## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted,

Now, instead of being tired as in sleepy, you are tired as in run over by a car.

I wish I could wish for a wish where I wished I didn't have to say wish so many times.


----------



## shelbster18 (Oct 8, 2011)

Granted but you see the word wish everywhere you go and it drives you insane.

I wish the world was made of chocolate.


----------



## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

Granted but the ambient temperature means the world melts and you die.

I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair.


----------



## MrQuiet76 (Aug 26, 2011)

Granted, but then a guy who hates punk rockers beats the hell outta you

I wish I had a time machine.


----------



## Daniel C (Apr 17, 2012)

Granted, but once you use it you realise it can only travel to the past and not to the future, so you end up stuck in the Middle Ages where they eventually burn you for herecy.

I wish I had a computer that could answer whatever question I asked it.


----------



## MaxPower (May 1, 2012)

Granted, but every answer is 42.

I wish I didn't have a cold.


----------



## shelbster18 (Oct 8, 2011)

Granted but the cold is replaced with really bad strept throat that leaves you speechless for a year.

I wish I had a pet tarantula.


----------



## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

Granted but it escapes.

I wish It wasn't boiling in my room.


----------



## Daniel C (Apr 17, 2012)

Granted, but instead it freezes about 90 degrees centigrade. 

I wish I had more time than other people.


----------



## Bec de Corbin (Jul 31, 2012)

Granted... you took all the time from other people and remain alone for everybody else died.

I wish I could reverse this corruption.


----------



## shelbster18 (Oct 8, 2011)

Granted but then the corruption reverses you and you start walking backwards instead of forwards. 

I wish I could live in a magical forest.


----------



## targetbuddy (Jul 31, 2012)

Granted, but you were brutally impaled by a unicorn.

I wish for infinite wishes!


----------



## shelbster18 (Oct 8, 2011)

Granted but you wish for so many wishes that it causes chaos everywhere.

I wish I could read super fast.


----------



## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted, but you end up reading every book on the planet in 1.25 seconds, and you die of bordem afterword.

I wish I could meet Puff the Magic Dragon.


----------



## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

GameGuy said:


> Granted, but you end up reading every book on the planet in 1.25 seconds, and you die of bordem afterword.
> 
> I wish I could meet Puff the Magic Dragon.


Granted, but puff the magic dragon rolls you up and smokes you.
I wish I had a spy car.


----------



## targetbuddy (Jul 31, 2012)

Granted, but it's invisible and you forget where you parked it.

I wish I were a better writer.


----------



## SuperSky (Feb 16, 2011)

Granted, but you become so absorbed by your great writing that you become covered in ink that can't be washed off.

I wish I was having pizza for dinner tonight.


----------



## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted, But instead, you have Pizza the Hutt for dinner tonight, and he puts a price on your head that makes all villainous scum come after you.

I wish I could relive the 90's


----------



## Strwbrry (Jun 28, 2012)

Granted, but only one day and it would be like that movie Groundhog Day... Endlessly repeating.

I wish I was one of the Avengers.


----------



## Daniel C (Apr 17, 2012)

Granted, but ehm... they fire you for insufficient qualifications. Who are the Avengers anyway?

I wish I had magical skills.


----------



## shelbster18 (Oct 8, 2011)

Granted but after each use of your magical skills, they become less and less magical.

I wish I had a little brother.


----------



## Strwbrry (Jun 28, 2012)

Granted, but he's a pain up the butthole, so you have to send him to Africa.. (That'll teach him, hehe)

I wish for a delicious meal!


----------



## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

Granted but it was poisoned.

I wish I wasn't so bored.


----------



## Strwbrry (Jun 28, 2012)

Granted, but then you have so much to do that you don't have any spare time left.

I wish for a boyfriend!


----------



## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted, and here I am.

I wish that for once, I could feel loved by my parents.


----------



## Rosedubh (Jul 11, 2009)

Granted, incest!

I wish that I wont the lottery.


----------



## shelbster18 (Oct 8, 2011)

Granted but you brag about the money so much that someone finds out and steals all your money.

I wish it was fall all year.


----------



## Daniel C (Apr 17, 2012)

Granted, but as a result all trees lose their leaves and they never grow back again, so that the photsynthesis process stops, all oxigen runs out and all living creatures die. 

I wish the new 'Sherlock' season would come out tomorrow.


----------



## targetbuddy (Jul 31, 2012)

Granted, but all the acting seems really rushed, and it almost looks like the editors just ran it through windows movie maker.

I wish David Tennant would come back and be the Doctor again.


----------



## Mithun (Sep 25, 2008)

Not sure who David Tennant is, sorry. But reincarnation is a mystery.

I wish my muscles would have built themselves without me working out.


----------



## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Granted but you end up having too much muscles, scaring people away 

I wish it rained money


----------



## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted, but it rains and ancient form of money that nobody cares for anymore.

I wish it was 11:00 pm right now instead of 5:15 so i could get off work quicker.


----------



## Tania I (Jul 22, 2012)

Granted, but your boss now order you to work overtime 

I wish someone will hold my hands.


----------



## Mithun (Sep 25, 2008)

Granted, but what if he is wearing boxing gloves.

I wish I have someone to talk to in-person, right now.


----------



## cucumbermoisturecream (Mar 2, 2010)

Granted. A police officer knocks at your door and arrests you for murder.

I wish the crazy pigeon would stop trying to fly in my room.


----------



## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted, now instead, the crazy Penguin will start trying to fly into your room

I wish I could have gone to college completely free, instead of owing over $30,000.


----------



## toutenkarthon (May 14, 2012)

Granted but now you are unemployed because of too much competition in the professional job market.

I wish milkshake would come out of the tap instead of water.


----------



## shelbster18 (Oct 8, 2011)

Granted but then it turns into poop. 

I wish I could climb trees.


----------



## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

Granted but the trees are a alive and attempt to crush you.

I wish it was Tuesday.


----------



## Daniel C (Apr 17, 2012)

Granted, but for the rest of the world it will still be Friday, causing you to be four days ahead of everyone else for the rest of your life, making it impossible to make any appointments.

Edit: forgot to insert a wish. I wish I was able to step into any book or film and make it become reality.


----------



## Gusthebus (May 22, 2012)

Granted but you end up accidently stepping into the movie Titanic after it starts sinking...

I wish I could Play Guitar like Jimi Hendrix


----------



## GameGuy (Oct 5, 2011)

Granted, but Jimi Hendrix sues you for copyright issues.

I wish I could become a well known / highly paid comedian.


----------



## CumulusCongestus (Jul 2, 2012)

Granted- but since you stole every joke from other comedians you became the most hated person in Hollywood.

I wish I knew how to play the harmonica.


----------



## toutenkarthon (May 14, 2012)

Granted, but then world leaders signed an edict for the banning and destruction of all harmonicas in the planet.

I wish I had x ray vision.


----------



## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Granted but soon you go blind

I wish raindrops were gum drops


----------



## Lmatic3030 (Nov 3, 2011)

Granted but then you will be endlessly pelted by a hailstorm of gum drops.

I wish for my room to be covered in lunchables.


----------



## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Granted but they go rotten and smell up the place  

I wish for an Arizona drink


----------



## Zeppelin (Jan 23, 2012)

Granted- but it already opened and a homeless guy has already drinked half of it.

I wish Led Zeppelin would hire me as their second guitarist.


----------



## TrcyMcgrdy1 (Oct 21, 2011)

Granted, but he needed a second cuz he ate the first, and wille at you too if you **** up!!!

I wish I was dead!! HAAAA!!!


----------



## TakeOne (Jun 28, 2012)

Granted. You are now a fifty year old homeless man who lives in a cardboard box and whose last name is "Dead".

I wish I could snap my fingers and make a burrito appear.


----------



## TrcyMcgrdy1 (Oct 21, 2011)

Granted!, but it is the biggest burrito of all time and lands on top of you and you will slowly suffocate unless you can eat all 500 pounds of it!!!!!

I wish I had no money!!!!!


----------



## Zeppelin (Jan 23, 2012)

Granted- The world decides to replace money with coal for currency.

I wish the Supersonics would return to Seattle.


----------



## TakeOne (Jun 28, 2012)

Granted. But then a group of aliens show up and steal the talent from Durant, Westbrook and Harden in order to defeat the Looney Tunes in a game of basketball.

I wish there was a sequel to Space Jam.


----------



## Daniel C (Apr 17, 2012)

Granted, but it turns out to be even completely halfpenny, causing everyone who watches it to be hospitalised with brain damage.

I wish I had more endorphins in my body.


----------



## Marleywhite (Aug 24, 2012)

your wish is granted, but it turns out you have oxidative metabolism 

I wish I could eat all i wanted and not get fat.


----------



## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Granted but you ate all the food in the world causing yet another world war

I wish i had a cat


----------



## brownzerg (Jan 8, 2012)

Granted but it ends up looking like this:










I wish I could start all over


----------



## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Granted, but your born in China.

I wish I could just be with her already.


----------



## TakeOne (Jun 28, 2012)

Granted. You're transformed into an inanimate stuffed doll that she adores, but you can't move or communicate with her. 

I wish I had big muscles.


----------



## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

TakeOne said:


> *Granted. You're transformed into an inanimate stuffed doll that she adores, but you can't move or communicate with her.
> *
> I wish I had big muscles.


^That sounds about right.

Granted, but you are forever labeled a douche bag based solely on your appearance.

I wish my car wasn't a piece of sh*t.


----------



## Zeppelin (Jan 23, 2012)

Granted. Here is your new car.









I wish I was a Major League Soccer player.


----------



## Strwbrry (Jun 28, 2012)

Granted, but after one day you get an hamstring blessure.

I wish for this feeling to never stop.


----------



## targetbuddy (Jul 31, 2012)

Strwbrry said:


> Granted, but after one day you get an hamstring blessure.
> 
> I wish for this feeling to never stop.


Granted. There are now only a handful of situations in which you will ever feel appropriate again.

I wish I were a rich video game producer.


----------



## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Granted but you lose everything gambling one day

I wish i was taller


----------



## TakeOne (Jun 28, 2012)

Granted. You are now 1,000,000th of a centimeter taller. 

I wish my shift was over NOW.


----------



## brownzerg (Jan 8, 2012)

Granted, You're Fired.

I wish I could play a musical instrument


----------



## Zeppelin (Jan 23, 2012)

Granted. You can now play the triangle.

I wish I was a NASA astronaught.


----------



## Strwbrry (Jun 28, 2012)

Granted, but once you step on the moon, the rocket crashes and you can't come back (they forgot you lol)...

I wish that I could go to Ibiza!!


----------



## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

Granted but you take a boat there and it sinks forcing you to swim.

I wish I could bend reality to my will.


----------



## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Granted but you create a black hole accidentally causing reality to merge into one big blob o.o

I wish i could be reborn


----------



## shelbster18 (Oct 8, 2011)

Granted but you are reborn with tentacles for arms that get in the way everywhere you go. 

I wish someone would punch Justin Bieber in the face.


----------



## targetbuddy (Jul 31, 2012)

shelbster18 said:


> Granted but you are reborn with tentacles for arms that get in the way everywhere you go.
> 
> I wish someone would punch Justin Bieber in the face.


Granted, but nobody wanted to do it, so they sent you instead. You were later arrested for assault.

I wish this election would hurry up and be over.


----------



## Zeppelin (Jan 23, 2012)

Granted, WW3 breaks out thus ending the world and the election.

I wish the Seattle Mariners would win a World Series.


----------



## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Granted but it turned out to be only a dream you had

I wish for more sleep


----------



## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Granted, you now have Narcolepsy.

I wish he wasn't in the picture.


----------



## TakeOne (Jun 28, 2012)

Granted. "He" disappears from every photograph he's ever taken and any photo he ever will take, causing anybody who sees these pictures to go insane...including "her".

I wish I could teleport.


----------



## FireIsTheCleanser (Aug 16, 2011)

Granted, but every time you teleport, the clothes you are wearing are mixed into your flesh because of all the atom shizzle

I wish everyone both feared and respected me.


----------



## Raphael200 (Aug 18, 2012)

Granted but they kill u in your sleep.

I wish i had a $million.


----------



## TakeOne (Jun 28, 2012)

Granted. You now have a piece of paper with the word "$million" written on it. Congrats.

I wish that the next person to post doesn't corrupt my wish.


----------



## Raphael200 (Aug 18, 2012)

Granted.........but i lied.

I wish i was the president of russia


----------



## DiceOfDiscord (Sep 9, 2012)

Granted, but then you were assassinated by a terrorist.

I wish real money grew on trees.


----------



## StrangePeaches (Sep 8, 2012)

granted, but due to global warming trees are an endangered species and only harvest by the elite of the world, ya know, Hilary Clinton and such.


I wish I had the power to read minds.


----------



## Zeppelin (Jan 23, 2012)

Granted. But you have no control who's mind you read so when you go to a cowarded area, your mind gets overwhelmed by are of the voices and you go pyscho.

I wish that Jurassic Park was a real theme park.


----------



## TakeOne (Jun 28, 2012)

Granted but the dinosaurs soon break out and cause mayhem. 

I wish for The Nile.


----------



## Brasilia (Aug 23, 2012)

Granted but you'll have to share it with Joanna Lumley










I wish I wasn't Claustrophobic


----------



## Daniel C (Apr 17, 2012)

Granted, but instead you get extremely agoraphobic and feel only at home in small, secluded spaces.

I wish I was a magisterial writer.


----------



## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Granted but you get put into jail for your writings, never being able to see the light of day again o.o

I wish i could have a drink right now


----------



## Imspartacus (Sep 29, 2012)

Granted. But one drink leads to another, and another, and another. You quickly spiral into alcoholism and can't go more than an hour without a drink. You die of liver disease. 

I wish a had a balloon animal.


----------



## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Granted, but they are all made by this guy.









I wish I had a a brand new car.


----------



## Your dreaming WAKE UP (Feb 11, 2012)

granted, but you wreck it on the first drive and you insurance won't cover it so now you're broke.

I wish for fish!


----------



## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Granted but you get so many that you end up smelling like fish 24/7 making others stay away o.o no one likes people who smell fishy

I wish for love


----------



## Daniel C (Apr 17, 2012)

Granted, but the love is brought to you by this person:










I wish for my thoughts to stop grinding.


----------



## Paramecium (Sep 19, 2012)

Granted, but you should tell me about your thoughts.

I wish I could flashback to 80s.


----------



## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

Granted but you end up stuck in the 80's with no job or money.

I wish i could see the future


----------



## tk123 (Jun 27, 2012)

Granted but you would have to live through all the bad parts without being able to change it otherwise it wouldn't have been the true future you were seeing.

I wish I owned the most popular website in the world.


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