# Overbearing Indian Parents - Please Help



## AxlRose408 (Apr 11, 2013)

Greetings all,

I'm at the age where I need to just disconnect from my very traditional Indian parents who are intrusive, overbearing, bothersome, and just plain annoying. My mom is obsessed with the house in which we live in. She wants every inch of my room to be to her liking in terms of cleanliness. She goes into my hamper to wash my clothes and ends up shrinking them in the dryer machine. I had to throw away several t shirts that this woman shrunk without my permission. She always demands that I "open the windows to let fresh air in." She thinks bugs will start growing if I don't keep my windows open. She conducts massive cleanings of my own personal bathroom while I'm away at work. I just want her to stay out of my room and get a life. I keep my room clean by myself and don't need this crap anymore. 

My mom has never worked professionally and spends hours on the couch watching TV. At her old age, her pathetic life revolves around the house being clean and my room being exactly the way she wants it. I think she needs to feel useful and wants to add some meaning to her life before she dies. Unfortunately, her life revolves around cleaning the house and going into my room without my permission.

Should I just put up with this crap until I can afford to move out? She causes me anxiety attacks and then gets mad at me for getting angry. When I move out, I really feel like I never want to see my parents again. But then I might not get my inheritance which is a large amount of money. It just seems that every word they say to me pisses me off. 

Any advice?


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## Rusty000Shackleford (May 20, 2013)

I'm in a similar boat, your situation sounds very unpleasant. I keep hoping for some magical answer, but don't know what to do besides get the f out and never come back. Inheritance, hah, I'm just glad I can't inherit debt. You have your own life to live, I wouldn't base it strictly off of money (besides rent, food, and other essentials).


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## MusingForX (Apr 3, 2013)

They're family.

We're asian. It's part of the cultural background.

There is a right way of doing things.

Dissing parents and waiting on their life for inheritance doesn't look good no matter which ethnic background you come from, also.

Change the door knob. It takes 5 minutes...


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## Lauren10409 (Jun 26, 2013)

It's all about setting boundaries. Your an adult, put her in her place in a diplomatic way, don't be afraid to be firm. One thing parents are afraid of is losing their children. She doesn't want you to walk away and never keep in contact once you get out on your own...so let her know that if she doesn't let up and give you some space that you can't see the future relationship between the 2 of you going very well in the future when you do move out. Scare her a little. But remember to be mature and diplomatic. You mother seems to love to control. If you say these things to her she might get upset because you are taking some of the control away from her. Reality is that she needs therapy. You should get her to go with you if that is at all possible.


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## SweetQueen (Nov 5, 2014)

Ok, so here is my story, I'm 39 and I still can't stand up to my father. She shut my voice down from the time I started speaking, we were supposed to be seen but not heard, he was so strict ALL the time...he was never physically abusive.

The thing is my mother passed away from an illness, turns out he was talking to some woman online while my mother was on her deathbed, yeah, a noble @sshole I know! Now he is moving away and wants me to deal with his finances from his businesses here. I can't say a word to him because he throws a fit and runs away like a little sissy b!tch, I have no respect for him for what he did when he married this hoochie he found online and everything else. He has always been like this, a stubborn, self loving, egotistical, my way is the right way, LYING pr!ck not to mention he has cheated on my mother the whole time they have been married, from secretaries to random women, at one point my mom tried to commit suicide but right before she did it she saw my face (I was 5 at the time) and the thought of some other woman raising me made her change her mind and stay with the pr!ck.

In the past if I say even one word where he doesn't agree he runs away, zooms away in his car like a pathetic piece of dirt. For the past 6 years he has drained me, I'm always bubbly and happy but when he turns up I feel miserable, angry and sad. He calls me every day even if I'm busy he doesn't care. He is a sore excuse for a human and I pray everyday that he would just die already and leave me alone but no luck, he is still here and going strong. Just like they say @ssholes outlive good people. My mother was the most honest and straightforward person I've known in my life, she was good and kind god loving which is why she died so young. How long do I have to put up with my father? How do you tell a fully grown egotistical [email protected] that he needs to let me live my life? Every time I try, he runs away because he knows what I say is the truth. I pray for god to take this worthless excuse of a father out of my life. Does anyone know what to do?


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## SweetQueen (Nov 5, 2014)

I meant "he" shut my voice down...not she


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## rilakkuma (May 2, 2013)

This is why I couldn't stay with my father. Overbearing, controlling, miserable...everything you described.

The only difference we are African-American but my parents are pretty old school.


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