# How do I tell someone religious I'm not religious anymore?



## rusalka (Jan 12, 2004)

I know a wonderful lady who has been a major force in my life and it's time to actually call her on the phone and thank her. The thing is she thinks I'm still a Christian and every time I've spoken to her she tells me I must pray the rosary - over and over she tells me. I don't know how to politely and gently tell her that I am not interested without ruining our acquaintance.

Help.


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## Jenikyula (Nov 7, 2007)

You should just tell her. "I'm not a Christian anymore." You'll probably be met with a gasp and a shake of the head and "How can you? Why?!" And then you'll have to explain your reasons, or just say that you have good reasons. Once she gets over the shock and confusion of it, she'll accept you again.

I told my grandmother, and that was her reaction. Not bad for someone who is from Roman Catholic Poland. Unfortunately she now worries that I'm part of a satanic cult religion called Buddhism. =P I also told the person who gives me facials, and she got all up in my face, so I just stopped talking about it, and that was that.


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## Faded Lines (Sep 22, 2006)

I have openly told people that I am more than Atheist, but actually strongly opposed to religion. Surprisingly, my family has accepted it. They are Catholic, but not really practicing Catholics. Like the above poster said, just tell her and get it over with. It will save you a lot of trouble in the long run.

*Also, funny how all three of us are from NY. I am jealous that you guys live in the city though :-(. Long Island sucks.


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

Not to split hairs or anything, but the rosary is more of a Catholic thing. 

Just tell them point blank. Chances are she wont like it, but being honest is the way to go.


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

I wouldn't tell her. Unless she wants you to pray *with* her, I'd just humor her or try to change the topic. Or you could tell her that you feel religion is private matter, and while you admire her passion, you'd rather that she keep it to herself.


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

Hmm, I would say something like...Although I still have tremendous respect for the christian religion I'm looking at other forms of spiritual expression, like animal sacrifice and human blood-letting. I'm sure she'll understand.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I am confused here. A person can still be Christian and not religious, per se'. He can still pray.


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## Brax (Jun 15, 2005)

If I can tell my 60s year old Muslim Great Aunt/Mother Figure that I'm an atheist and a Satanist...

Look, just get really drunk first.


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## Bot (Jan 12, 2008)

Tell her you still have faith, which can be true even if you are an atheist, because just like christians cant prove there is a god you cant prove that there isnt one.

Despite a belief in logic over religion you are still putting faith in an idea you can never prove

Good way of avoiding the question but still factually true and im sure if you told her "I still have faith" it will be a sweeter pill to swallow for her.


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## nightmahr (Jan 2, 2008)

I wouldn't risk it. It might ruin her whole perception of your relationship.


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## Soul666 (Oct 29, 2006)

I don't see any Reason to even tell Her...


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## Brax (Jun 15, 2005)

What does she say when she tells her to pray with the Rosary, then?


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## SadRosesAreBeautiful (May 15, 2008)

Yeah, I'm in the same kind of predicament. My dad is a part of an evangelical, pentacostal, speak-in-tongues type of church. And I abandoned my christian faith about six years ago and am agnostic, and he sometimes asks me to go to church with him, but I don't say anything and just don't go. But I'm tired of him hounding me about church and am afraid to tell him that I'm not a christian anymore because he is extremely judgemental and he helps me with my car payment so I don't really want to tick him off. And my matriarchal grandfather is also a devout christian so I haven't said anything to him either although he always tells me to "be ready for the rapture." 

But I am very interested in Judaism and don't want to tell my mom because she's an atheist and completely against religion (and neither my dad nor grandfather know it). And I can't tell my dad or my grandfather because whether I'm agnostic or practice any religion other than Christianity, I'm going to hell in their eyes.


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## venusfruit (May 9, 2008)

I was brought up as a Catholic, but I don't practice it now. I'm an athiest. My parents both believe in god and heaven and all that stuff, but they know how I feel. They just ignore it. 

I remember the time I told my dad that I think I'm a satanist! Again, he just ignored me! They can't accept the fact that I don't believe, so they block it out.


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## Brax (Jun 15, 2005)

I am a Satanist. Imagine telling your 60+ year old mamma that 

Which I did, because she pressed me, and I wasn't going to hide all the literature I'd been bringing into the house (and the rituals; you simply cannot hide those). I refused to to lie; too proud for that. After almost a year she stopped saying that I truly believed in God and now she hardly flinches over the stuff I do and read. I think what most comforted her was that I explained my interpretation of Satan and religion, that I wasn't an "evil"-worshiping parasite out to make chaos. The questions came from her naturally out of concern, rather than accusatory and insensitively so I didn't have to come off like an apologist. Just use the person's natural pattern in discussing their interest in your spiritual well-being and it shouldn't come off too badly. But my mum is big on family and love and all that; it's hard for her but especially as a young man she's now more respectful. 

So when coming out... just use the person's emotional responses and play off that, manipulate them into a hole. It's not their business, anyway, but sometimes sacrificing a little dignity or privacy is the best way to regain peace.


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