# Can't socialise (even though I want to)



## Music Man (Aug 22, 2009)

Hey,

I'm quite annoyed at the moment with my lack of socialising at Uni. My flat has international students - from greece, spain, cyprus, china and I can't socialise with them as they keep themselves to themselves and only socialise with people from their own nationalities. Another guy and I have tried inviting them to meals in the kitchen but they don't come. My cousin also said that happens at every university (in the UK anyway). 

So - I am in a position where I want to socialise, but I can't because of the conditions. I only ever see people in lectures and then that's it. I have asked people if they want to do something like watch a film etc but they always make excuses.

It's annoying that I want to socialise but no one wants to socialise with me :um


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## Averagejoe (Jan 13, 2010)

Now I'm not one to give advice.........


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## Catty (Jan 4, 2010)

Try not to see college as a way to socialisie but study. 
Sorry for the poor advice.


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## looktothelight (Jan 16, 2010)

Same as how it is with me and school.
You are doing the right thing by at least asking and putting yourself out there. Most people can't even do that much. I know it's super depressing but you have to keep on truckin' :b


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## Music Man (Aug 22, 2009)

Hopefully it'll be better next year as I'll be in a different flat.

It's just annoying - the only other thing I can do is learn Italian, greek, spanish, chinese and speak to them :b


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

Have you taken a secondary language? A good idea would be to ask one of the international students who fluently speaks that language to help tutor you. I know here, a lot of the international students are conversational in English but not fluent in it, so you could help them as well.


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## LooknUpnCali (Jan 18, 2010)

*Hope it Helps*

Im new to this posting thing, but saw yours. You into music? On myspace when i look up people in international coutries, they have no idea what Im saying to them but if you mention say Rock or Metal or Hip Hop, their like oh yeah I heard of them and socializing seems to come out of their mouth so fast. Its just a great topic for socializing, cuz everyone knows their best bands whether they be indie or mainstream. And plus you always come out saying wow i love hearing this new music. Hope it helps


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## march_hare (Jan 18, 2006)

I had the same problem when I started uni. 
Maybe try joining some clubs or societies?


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## Popezilla (Jan 11, 2010)

Best thing I've been able to do is try and chat with the people sitting near before class starts. Pretty much everyone is bored for the first 10-15 minutes waiting for lecture to start and usually don't mind small talk. It gives you a boost to conversation skills and can potentially lead to a friendship. If you can already make the first step of talking to someone you should be golden. Personally it's very difficulty for me to do.


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## Music Man (Aug 22, 2009)

bezoomny said:


> Have you taken a secondary language? A good idea would be to ask one of the international students who fluently speaks that language to help tutor you. I know here, a lot of the international students are conversational in English but not fluent in it, so you could help them as well.


No, I'm doing biomedical science. It would be interesting to learn a new language though.



> Im new to this posting thing, but saw yours. You into music? On myspace when i look up people in international coutries, they have no idea what Im saying to them but if you mention say Rock or Metal or Hip Hop, their like oh yeah I heard of them and socializing seems to come out of their mouth so fast. Its just a great topic for socializing, cuz everyone knows their best bands whether they be indie or mainstream. And plus you always come out saying wow i love hearing this new music. Hope it helps


I play a few instruments - guitar, bass, keyboard, drums and others and record too. The others aren't so interested so even though music is a big thing for me, it never comes up in conversations as the conversations are never related to music and when I try to talk about it, it never goes anywhere. It's frustrating as I feel I have things to offer but no one seems to be bothered. That's one of the reasons I started to record music with multiple instruments myself, so I could achieve the same result as a band.


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## LooknUpnCali (Jan 18, 2010)

yeah tht b a good idea is learning a second lauguage, thn tutoring someone. tht set up up, for both breaking the ice and also carrying on the convo over into like you say u play instruments. you might even find someone who wants to learn how to play an instrument also, tht be twofold.


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## Not So Nervous Nelly (Feb 24, 2007)

I would not take it personally as long as you're trying. However, I know that rejections hurts. Maybe you could start by joining a group at least you will have something in common.


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