# Fear of Women



## extremecaseofsocialphobia (Apr 10, 2010)

I have it. It does not matter what they look like attractive or unattractive when a female enters my vicinity I get more nervous tense when they show interest in me it reaches almost panic levels sad but true. I have never approached a female in a pick up romantic way.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

same here., I have a specific phobia that ive never faced. goes back to my childhood fears really and im still stuck.


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## extremecaseofsocialphobia (Apr 10, 2010)

The ironic thing is my closest sibling is my sister I talk to her all the time accompany her to places without any problems but when it comes to stranger females my anxieties kick in full force.


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## KittyGirl (May 14, 2010)

...Are you still afraid of them even if they're androgynous?
I guess what I mean is... are you afraid of them at the point that you can *tell* that they are women and not men?

Is it they way they act, or just the possibility of having a relationship or sex- in the future with this person that freaks you out?
If you're fine around your sister, then perhaps you should look into seeing women on a more equal ground with men. Don't think about relationships for now- focus on friendship; like with your sister- with other women.


I'm sorry... I've never felt the same way, so I don't understand exactly how you must feel.

...are you okay talking with me on a forum?
Because... I'm a woman.
--I don't mean it in a cruel way- I'm just curious if it's a visual thing.


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## ZeroX4 (Feb 25, 2010)

I have the same issue.

And it really sucks.


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## Whitney (Oct 2, 2008)

I'm often like this around men. But in general I think I'm just obsessed with male attention. I think I have gotten better with this though, I am just generally more relaxed around women because I don't care as much what they think (still care more than I should, but not as much as with men)


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## moxosis (Aug 26, 2009)

I know how it is, the more I like someone the more I avoid them, it's horrible. I heard my neighbor talking to someone about me, and he said to him that I probly had a woman phobia.


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## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

I have the same issue with guys. In junior high, a guy found out I liked him and was really mean to me for two years of my life, and made me feel like sh-t. Now, I don't feel like I can trust men, even though I know there are good ones out there, and that I am letting a bad experience get the best of me. 

They just intimidate me. The idea of sex intimidates me. I can hardly handle a conversation let alone sex...I hate life.


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

Try a strip club to loosen you up.


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

I'm the same, but only around women im attracted to.

Women im not attracted to, i dont really have a problem with.


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## extremecaseofsocialphobia (Apr 10, 2010)

KittyGirl said:


> ...Are you still afraid of them even if they're androgynous?
> I guess what I mean is... are you afraid of them at the point that you can *tell* that they are women and not men?


I like to believe I can spot a real woman straight or lesbian right away real women make me nervous especially when I know they are attracted to me.



> Is it they way they act, or just the possibility of having a relationship or sex- in the future with this person that freaks you out?


Your post got me thinking it is a whole bunch of things. I feel pressure a pressure to sweep her off her feet say I am on a packed bus or train and a woman is giving me eye contact I do not know what to say and I start thinking about what the other people will think if I sound stupid or she blows me off if they are not attracted to me my nervousness is lessened a little but if they treat me as if I am gross or dangerous it hurts me and I get very nervous again. I have nothing to offer them my conversation skills are non existent, I do not have a sense of humor, I am unemployed, still live with my parents, can't drive, I do not have any hobbies or friends basically I have no life and what woman wants to be with a man that is afraid? Can I protect her? What will her friends and family think? What if I am a bad kisser? What if I'm no good in bed? Something else say I do build up the courage to ask a woman out I will have to gulp take her out to eat I hate eating out I will have to go out more do things I do not like to do.



> If you're fine around your sister, then perhaps you should look into seeing women on a more equal ground with men. Don't think about relationships for now- focus on friendship; like with your sister- with other women.


One of my classmates in the training program I went to gave me the same advice he also told me to talk to women like guys that is difficult for me because I do not know how to talk to guys either. I have no friends. I'm good around my Mom too in March there was a death in my family I went to the funeral there I saw my aunts and female cousins I had not seen in almost 20 years my social skills were still bad but I did not get that extra anxiety around them there were other females I did not know there they did make me nervous.



> I'm sorry... I've never felt the same way, so I don't understand exactly how you must feel.


It is understandable.



> ...are you okay talking with me on a forum?
> Because... I'm a woman.
> --I don't mean it in a cruel way- I'm just curious if it's a visual thing.


Yes if I have to call an office to make an appointment or call my bank and a female answers the phone I can say what I have to say free from fear.


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## extremecaseofsocialphobia (Apr 10, 2010)

I feel like an abomination of nature one of the relationship experts I listen to compared this fear to a lion afraid of its prey it is true. I have never truly confronted this fear head on I had a female friend when I was 16 she told then I needed to get a girlfriend I am like the 11 year old kid that has not gotten over his fear of girls. Deep down I know that if I can get over this ungodly fear the rest of my SA will come crashing down around me.


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

I think a strip club will help you too. The only want to beat your fears is to face them head on.


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## Whitney (Oct 2, 2008)

mbp86 said:


> I think a strip club will help you too. The only want to beat your fears is to face them head on.


I disagree. That is flooding, which is overexposure of your fear to the point of exhaustion so that you are too tired to be afraid anymore. It works for most phobias, but not social related phobias.


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## Lateralus (Oct 28, 2007)

I have the same problem. When I get the sense or find out a girl is attracted to me I start to worry about every little thing I do and sometimes try to avoid her altogether after that. It's horrible. Usually it takes a really drunken night to open up if it happens at all. Plus I've been uncomfortably nervous in almost every relationship I've had.


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## extremecaseofsocialphobia (Apr 10, 2010)

I went to a job interview it happened again several times I do not know how to control this I get so nervous around women. One lady came up to me to ask for directions she stuck around even after we got on the train she tried starting up a conversation with me but when she realized how nervous she was making me she stopped later on a Chinese lady was sitting right in front of me looking me dead in the eyes I did not smile or say anything. I take deep breaths I tell myself internally there is nothing to fear, I tell myself I am going to open my mouth and speak but when it comes time to do it my mind goes blank and all I feel is nervousness fear I cannot shake it it is uncontrollable.


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## theCARS1979 (Apr 26, 2010)

*a strip club*

Yeah, maybe should try the strip again, because Im afraid to ask girls out and talk to them too. Its like i say hello but I dont know how to go to the next question. or get to the point of asking them out. Its something I went through as a kid too. I know I have tried a few times but never continued harder. I was like, oh ok whatever. It's like Im destined to be alone forever. I surely hope not


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

I seem to have this problem too (like the OP described), waiting for subway, riding the subway, situations where its not really expected. Perhaps I am destined to be alone as well... >.>


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## lucyinthesky (Mar 29, 2009)

I have a fear of women and I'm a straight female, lol. Young attractive ones make me want to hide, particularly. They are terrifying, I agree.


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## shyguydan222 (Nov 1, 2008)

I am terrified of people in general right now :um


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## No-Sturm-und-Drang (Jan 21, 2009)

boo


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## demian1 (Dec 11, 2006)

nemesis1 said:


> I'm the same, but only around women im attracted to.
> 
> Women im not attracted to, i dont really have a problem with.


This


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## shyguydan222 (Nov 1, 2008)

Lol women in real life that is


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

i can’t say i have fear of women but i do feel anxious around them specially if she is controlling. but little by little the anxiety disappears the more i know that female. what never disappears is being in social situations.


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## extremecaseofsocialphobia (Apr 10, 2010)

I had somewhat of a breakthrough today I went back to the school where I got my training by chance I was alone with one of the secretaries an older lady for a good while she started talking to me at first I clammed up like I always do I realized what I was doing I forced myself to talk I asked her questions she responded we talked for a good half hour I found out where she was from, what her favorite foods are, she can cook what her best dish is and so on it was not very difficult. On the downside I chickened out again several more times on the buses and trains when younger attractive females were giving me the eye but I had a conversation with someone and it was a woman!:boogie


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## extremecaseofsocialphobia (Apr 10, 2010)

Oh and I am going to see about a job later tonight it sounded like I have a very good chance to get it it is dangerous hard work but the pay is extremely good I think am willing to do it I say I think because I do not know exactly what the job entails I know I am willing to work hard this could change my life.


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## Music Man (Aug 22, 2009)

extremecaseofsocialphobia said:


> I had somewhat of a breakthrough today I went back to the school where I got my training by chance I was alone with one of the secretaries an older lady for a good while she started talking to me at first I clammed up like I always do I realized what I was doing I forced myself to talk I asked her questions she responded we talked for a good half hour I found out where she was from, what her favorite foods are, she can cook what her best dish is and so on it was not very difficult. On the downside I chickened out again several more times on the buses and trains when younger attractive females were giving me the eye but I had a conversation with someone and it was a woman!:boogie


That's great :boogie

I've never really thought about whether I have a fear of women but I'm starting to think I do. I have thoughts on trying to talk to them and get to know them - but when in that situation my mouth won't open and nothing comes out. I can't ask anyone out because of this and also if they have a boyfriend, it's how to respond to that without looking weird - and of course rejection.
The thought of asking a girl out just terrifies me - although I don't have the problem on trains etc about women looking at me because I've never seen anyone do it.


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## extremecaseofsocialphobia (Apr 10, 2010)

I am the same way believe me when I tell you I am nothing specal in the looks department I am short and fat not a sharp dresser I have not cut my hair in over 5 months I see some women looking at me if I am getting looks you must get looks too. On Wednesday I had to go someplace I got out of the train station began walking for some reason I decided to cross the street where I never cross the street I have been to this place before I look behind me I saw this gorgeous young lady we locked eyes of course I got nervous looked away first she broke off her route to come cross the street where I was we crossed the street she was slightly ahead of me I was nervous so I crossed the street again after a bit she crosses the street was walking in front of me I stayed put kept walking but could not muster up the courage to say anything oh man she was gorgeous. I never would have noticed her if I had not looked back.



Music Man said:


> That's great :boogie
> 
> I've never really thought about whether I have a fear of women but I'm starting to think I do. I have thoughts on trying to talk to them and get to know them - but when in that situation my mouth won't open and nothing comes out. I can't ask anyone out because of this and also if they have a boyfriend, it's how to respond to that without looking weird - and of course rejection.
> The thought of asking a girl out just terrifies me - although I don't have the problem on trains etc about women looking at me because I've never seen anyone do it.


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## RobAlister (Apr 4, 2010)

I'm the same way but only around attractive women. For some reason their beauty is intimidating.


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

do not go to a strip club. Strippers don't represent the female population either in dress or attitude so why immerse yourself around a group that doesn't accurately portray what the rest of the population is if you want to get close to them? Being fearless around women isn't about "hey let's see if I'm brave enough to make moves on you," rather it's based on respect for the girl as a female rather than as some kind of thing you want to do with your you-know-what. Strip club is the last place you want to go to experience how to be around girls.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

I still get nervous around girls sometime. Don't use it as an excuse.


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## theCARS1979 (Apr 26, 2010)

I beleive im afraid of some women too. I dont approach them at all well. I do not know what to say. I feel a little strange even at a register at a store and i feel like they know something about me. I have'nt had a date or relationship and long time. I used to work with some women in the past. Now, especially if they re attractive , I'm shy and anxious.


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## christ~in~me (Dec 18, 2008)

i am the exact same but im afraid of men,it really sucks


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## theCARS1979 (Apr 26, 2010)

*aw*

awww. I dont know, not even the stupid basic places are working for me. But i think a strip place should be just a once in awhile type place


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## AForumName (Jun 2, 2010)

I don't really know why I'm posting this... I'm not exactly looking for an answer, and the fearful part of me doesn't -want- an answer, but at the same time I do... 
I guess the most important thing is typing this out, and maybe letting people know that gynophobia is more serious than it's usually treated.

Having a -phobia name to attatch to it is actually kind of recent, but I've always known I'm afraid of women. Now, when I say that, most people get the wrong idea... I'm not afraid of "rejection", or feel anxious about approaching a woman, although I wouldn't know much about that. I'm afraid of women themselves.

I don't understand it, but it's overpowering. If a girl walks into the room (no matter what she looks like - so long as she's identifiably female), it's usually just very tense and uncomfortable, but sometimes it's bad enough to trigger an adrenaline response in me. The fight-or-flight mechanism starts blazing in my head, and in the worst case scenarios I automatically think "Run. Get away. Hide. FLEE!!" as if something lethal just entered with fangs dripping blood, staring at me.

At the very least, I can't concentrate and I feel extremely uncomfortable around women. Something about the female figure just seems so... hostile and alien to me subconciously. There's something in their facial expressions, no matter who they are or what they look like, that makes my brain go "It means you harm, it's dangerous, get away from it." Friendly smiles are the worst because I know they're friendly, I know it's irrational deep down, but I can't get over the image of mistrust and hostility until hours later, after I've isolated myself again and have calmed down from the panic.

It's kind've hard to avoid women entirely so I've gotten better at staying calm and in control in public, but the fear never goes away. Just thinking about a woman staring at me is enough to make me lock the doors at night. It doesn't help that the issue is nearly impossible to talk about out loud - the gender I'm comfortable talking to happens to be the gender that abuses and insults people like me most. It's very easy to see why people would call me gay.

I don't think I'm gay, but in the confusion I go through every day, I could be a penguin and not notice it. I've actually thought it through and I don't find men attractive in any physical way (whatever force of nature or creation that designed men was sick and twisted indeed), and even despite my issues, I still feel the urge and the pressure to go out and mate like a good hunter-male. That just stops dead in its tracks whenever I see a "potential mate" in person.

Again, I don't know why I'm posting this. The last time I really opened up about this, the "friends" I talked to decided to play practical jokes on me from then on and went out of their way to give me a terrible reputation. The only reason I'm able to type this out in a clear manner is because of how tired I am, physically and mentally... kind of paradoxial, but here I am.

So... yeah, I guess that's my story. I don't know how many other guys go through this (I like to hope I'm not the only one...  ) but I think I've posted in the right thread, at least.


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## extremecaseofsocialphobia (Apr 10, 2010)

Thanks for the input your post described the torture I go through the only things I disagree with is viewing them as something lethal or hostile in my case I know the fear is irrational yet it is still there. Some guys know I get nervous around women but I would never come right out and tell them I am afraid of women I do not recommend that. I have not been able to build on the conversation I had last week.



AForumName said:


> I don't really know why I'm posting this... I'm not exactly looking for an answer, and the fearful part of me doesn't -want- an answer, but at the same time I do...
> I guess the most important thing is typing this out, and maybe letting people know that gynophobia is more serious than it's usually treated.
> 
> Having a -phobia name to attatch to it is actually kind of recent, but I've always known I'm afraid of women. Now, when I say that, most people get the wrong idea... I'm not afraid of "rejection", or feel anxious about approaching a woman, although I wouldn't know much about that. I'm afraid of women themselves.
> ...


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

These days, my conversation skills are so poor that I can't hold a conversation with anybody, even guys. But with a beautiful girl, it's even worse. It Sucks being a straight male and running away from the very type of girls I want to be around.


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## xknucklezx (Feb 26, 2012)

*Tired of it!*

Gosh what is this problem? I have this problem and I can't seem to shake it. It makes me so angry every time I think about it. Anytime I'm interacting with a female I get so nervous & tense. I can't stop thinking about how I am going to screw things up by being awkward and weird. I really wish there was some way I could just be comfortable with talking to women. I've been struggling with this issue for a long time. And I just want to get rid of it.


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## sparkplug74 (Feb 9, 2012)

When I'm around a girl that I really like, my SA increases tenfold. That's why I always have to settle with just fantasizing them lol.


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## DesperateOne (Feb 6, 2012)

Oh Im exactly the same..



lucyinthesky said:


> I have a fear of women and I'm a straight female, lol. Young attractive ones make me want to hide, particularly. They are terrifying, I agree.


On the pic you are super attractive yourself...so you must be terrified of mirrors too 



sparkplug74 said:


> When I'm around a girl that I really like, my SA increases tenfold. That's why I always have to settle with just fantasizing them lol.


Sometimes she's so hot that I can't even allow myself to fantasize...


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I don't fear women anymore. I am trying my best to get over that.


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## Princess143 (Jan 30, 2012)

I hope that you can all gain the confidence you need, to get the beautiful women that you want, and may they be just as beautiful on the inside as on the outside, We all need love and I truly believe that there is someone for everyone.
blessings, love Sarah


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## RenegadeReloaded (Mar 12, 2011)

being around and interacting with an attractive girl, it feels like i'm making a speech on national television live...


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

Is it the competition factor and insecurity and low self esteem that makes men fear women? If so, the issue is not women themselves. So if one were to focus on bettering those two personality issues, wouldnt one be less afraid? Now, how can this be logically done?


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Well, me personally, I feel like I'm competing against other men, so I feel like I don't measure up. This is verified every time that a girl treats me like I'm different, or strange, or weird.


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## SeekerFinder (Feb 23, 2012)

rdrr said:


> Is it the competition factor and insecurity and low self esteem that makes men fear women? If so, the issue is not women themselves. So if one were to focus on bettering those two personality issues, wouldnt one be less afraid? Now, how can this be logically done?


Those who fight and run away live to fight another day alone.
thats all i can say.
every time we back off, we dont get burned, but we do stay lonely.
low self esteem tells us we cant win, compition tells us we cant win, so telling ourselves we can win is the solution.
Now, what is the trick to beliving we can actually win? for me, half a case of beer can get my courage up, but then im to stupid to talk.
need some non alchaholic courage.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

SeekerFinder said:


> Those who fight and run away live to fight another day alone.
> thats all i can say.
> every time we back off, we dont get burned, but we do stay lonely.
> low self esteem tells us we cant win, compition tells us we cant win, so telling ourselves we can win is the solution.
> ...


I can't drink alcohol. I take a benzo, don't want to end up like Whitney Houston!

That being said, being 29 and having the sexual/romantic experience of a 13 year old doesn't help much, either.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

There are leagues based on overall status. Guys and girls are placed in them unofficially by society. Lines can blur between them, and personality can trump the lines. I was thinking, there are general markers for what people find attractive. 

Could it be one may not know thier value, ie. league, due to lack of positive experience? Or do they refuse or are they in denial to admit they might not be attractive to those they fancy, as far who they are looking for? People will refute with stories bucking the trend, but that is something unique to that specific person, who may hold a higher value.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Women are people, too. And yes, they are human.
People are NOT to be put on pedestals.


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## ryobi (Jan 13, 2009)

I get nervous around women...but


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## stranger17 (Feb 16, 2012)

I get really bad anxiety and the same feeling that I can't compete with other guys as some have already mentioned. It really sucks because it severely limits my ability to carry on conversations which pretty much puts me back to where I started. It's a vicious cycle.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Joinmartin, I am in competition with every other guy in Cincinnati OH that is in the room with me, that is better looking, in better shape, whatever...than me.

Unless he's gay, then he's swinging the other way.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I used to not know what to say to my adopted sister, but I've gotten better. We've gotten closer over the past year.

I dunno, maybe my fear around women is going away? Either way, I generally just fear people. Women, it's doublefold, because if she's attractive I imagine having sex with her. That's awkward. :|


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## gentleman caller (Feb 22, 2012)

Really loud and cocky women scare me. I figure that they are just overcompensating for some insecurity but still they are too pushy. You know the type, has a really loud voice and strong opinions about everything. It feels like they are talking at me and not really talking with me. For some with SA this is the last thing you want to deal with.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

My anxiety is equal opportunities - men and women can both potentially scare me ****-less. :b Although saying that attractive people of either gender, make me more uncomfortable than usual I've noticed.


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## Ljudumilu (Feb 2, 2012)

Ansgar said:


> 1. I feel inferior to women.
> 
> 2. I am afraid that she will make fun of me.
> 
> ...




Why do you feel inferior to women? We're people too - the only difference is we're wired differently. We have doubts and insecurities too, we're (broadly speaking) interested in the same sorts of things, we want to find someone who'll appreciate us too. If a women makes fun of you or ignores you, it's not a big universal judgement on you - it's just one person being a rude idiot (her, not you).

Saying that though, Swedish girls tend to be gorgeous. I'd be terrified and insecure if I lived there too


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## Quinn the Eskimo (Jan 22, 2012)

girls scare the living **** out of me


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## wanderer13 (Jan 13, 2012)

Women also scare me a lot and im 27 yo.Not attractive ones aint that much of a problem, but in my situation i find almost all non-toofat girls attractive

Exposure definately doesn't work since i get to hang out with women relatively often due to my male friends who do better on this department but this has not helped me at all over the years.I ve also tried bordels and stripclubs but this also does not help at all.

Alcohol typically helps up to a point, but when things get serious ill usually blackout.I think eckstacy would be a better cure but thats only temporary and i havent tried it yet in a social setting.


I think as with just about every mental disorder, the problem lies in low self-esteem. So im trying to cure my mild social anxiety towards males via cbt...and hopefully treat my severe social anxiety towards females.Im optimistic!


P.S. Do the rest of the guys with severe women-fear issues also like femdom/bsdm porn?


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

Talking to them during the day helps a lot. Just casual sober conversation, I've been doing it for a little while now and the more you do, the more you realise everyone's kind of in the same boat anyway, with regards to insecurities and awkwardness. I still say horribly awkward stuff and get nervous, but it's okay, as long as you're okay with it!

Being satisfied and happy, and not coming from a place of wanting/needing something helps a lot. You've got to find your own way to that place though, don't sit around and focus on your flaws, go out and notice everone elses, and learn to appreciate them and the world around you.

The more you practice, the better you get. Simple as, it's like riding a bike. Except the bike mightn't want you to ride it, but that's okay, because there's lot's and _lot's_ of bikes. And there's bound to be at least a half a dozen with a saddle to suit you, if you practice enough and go to the right places.

Make a conscious effort to go beyond your fears and there's no limits to what you can accomplish.

C:


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## Silent Image (Dec 22, 2010)

I'm in the same boat


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## patman1023 (Feb 19, 2012)

Try not to think about them as women, but just as other people. That helps me to have less stress when talking to girls. But I have some girls that I am close friends with that I can tell big secrets to. I told one girl about some serious anxiety issues I have been having and she has been real supportive of me! So sometimes I try to pretend that I am talking to her when I talk to other girls, and it makes me feel a bit better. But still it is easy to go off on a tangent with girls and pretend that you are someone you are not, but you might find that you have more in common with other girls then you think. I don't know if this might help you, but I tried my best!  But, anyway I have had general anxiety around almost everyone recently whether they are girls or guys so don't exactly know how you feel.


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## NatureFellow (Jun 14, 2011)

No-Sturm-und-Drang said:


> boo


I fell into the fetal position and clang on to dear life. 
But really, some girls are really intimidating and they don't even realise it


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## 50piecesteve (Feb 28, 2012)

i feel ya, im cool if i dont know they are attracted to me, but when i hear "so and so thinks your hot" all hell breaks lose


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

I have an extreme fear of women and girls. What's even sadder is they're supposedly my own gender.


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## gagaga5 (Apr 7, 2014)

d


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

Add womenphobia to the list of phobias. Then it would probably be the most common phobia off all. Especially among shy socially awkward guys.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

I had womenphobia pretty bad when I was in 2010. I remember I went to this music camp in 2010 and a girl my age sat right next to me the whole week and I looked down the whole time because I was super scared. Being in her presence make me really scared and uptight. That was like 5 years ago. 

I still have it but the majority of my problems stem from I just really have no clue what to say at all. Of course I know what this is and I wish I didn't have it but I can't change the fact I was born different from everyone else.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

pregnant women scare me, it's a constant reminder, graphic images in my head of them performing sex acts.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

I think if you have a fear of women, then first you need to realize it's just that...an irrational fear.

Women are just like guys in a lot of ways. I mean, we're all human, we all have wants and needs and hopes and dreams, weaknesses and strengths. We're really all not that different in my humble opinion. Women are human beings. Don't put them on a f-ing pedestal, just don't man...nobody wants that. They're just like you. They put their pants on one leg at a time, just like you do.

When you start idolizing them or putting them on a pedestal, you're thought process gets all f-ed up. Just don't. They are just like you. Keep it real.


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## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

extremecaseofsocialphobia said:


> I have it. It does not matter what they look like attractive or unattractive when a female enters my vicinity I get more nervous tense when they show interest in me it reaches almost panic levels sad but true. I have never approached a female in a pick up romantic way.


Yep i am the same i normally talk alot at work but if a girl walks in around my age i go mute i guess my anxiety kicks in and some of my co workers say why are you quite and then i say i have nothing to say

But when i was younger 8 to 13 girls would tell me shut up or ignore me for just saying hi


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

TenYears said:


> I think if you have a fear of women, then first you need to realize it's just that...an irrational fear.
> 
> Women are just like guys in a lot of ways. I mean, we're all human, we all have wants and needs and hopes and dreams, weaknesses and strengths. We're really all not that different in my humble opinion. Women are human beings. Don't put them on a f-ing pedestal, just don't man...nobody wants that. They're just like you. They put their pants on one leg at a time, just like you do.
> 
> When you start idolizing them or putting them on a pedestal, you're thought process gets all f-ed up. Just don't. They are just like you. Keep it real.


maybe a way to fight this fear is to imagine they are transexuals, female face and breast but with a penis, that's actually a turn on


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

MobiusX said:


> maybe a way to fight this fear is to imagine they are transexuals, female face and breast but with a penis, that's actually a turn on


*deep sigh*

I give up man. Good luck.


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## cosmiccircle (Jul 7, 2015)

VanDamMan said:


> Try a strip club to loosen you up.


This actually works. I was terribly shy. After my marriage fell apart (thank gawd!!!), I never thought I would be with another woman again.

Then my friend which use to be a bouncer at strip clubs, started carting me along with him. I was mortified, but turned on at the same time. The strippers were just out for money, and they could sense my discomfort, but they actually talked with me, and after a while I got over it. I even had some give me lap dances out of pity. I didn't know what to do or say. Then, it got to where I could say anything. My first sexual encounter after my divorce was about 2 years later, with a stripper. I knew she was not my type of girl, but she was fine. I ended up just sort of falling into a relationship with my wife now. She chased me. I was having so much fun playing the field that I was not even considering settling down. Then, something happened and I fell in love with her. I think it was her old-fashioned traits that reminded me of the women in my family. She was a tom boy and not afraid to get her hands dirty. She LOVES football and doesn't miss a single game on Sunday's (watches NFL Red Zone), and she tickles my back every night, and has for 10 years.

Anyway - I do know what you are saying and I see the original post was from 2010. It can go away if you force yourself through some awkward uncomfortable situations.

Also realize, a lot of that fear is the fear of being "turned down". Look at it this way - that IS going to happen. It happens to EVERYONE. When it does, wasn't meant to be so just move on. Sooner or later you will look up and realize you are with the one you were meant to be with. That's the kind of love that last long after the lust wears off. The kind of love that says, "HEY BABY, CAN YOU BRING ME A ROLL OF TOILET PAPER I'M OUT".


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## skyisblue (Nov 7, 2014)

extremecaseofsocialphobia said:


> I have it. It does not matter what they look like attractive or unattractive when a female enters my vicinity I get more nervous tense when they show interest in me it reaches almost panic levels sad but true. I have never approached a female in a pick up romantic way.


Unfortunately this fear you have has probably led to more avoidance of women, which in turn has made your fear of women even worse.

Your best bet would be to desensitize yourself.

Do the thing you fear over and over again.

As someone said before, you want to get women to be just like men (in your mind).


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## skyisblue (Nov 7, 2014)

xxDark Horse said:


> Add womenphobia to the list of phobias. Then it would probably be the most common phobia off all. Especially among shy socially awkward guys.


This is very true.

It's extremely common even among some non-shy guys.

I believe it goes back a ways.

I remember in early elementary school boys were conditioned to band with boys and girls were conditioned to chill with girls.

At recess, it was just a boys with boys thing for us playing some sport. Looking back it, that was actually a terrible idea, as that was time we should have spent learning how to be around girls and learning how to talk to them.

Eventually guys get older and only the "naturals" prevail with the women on a consistent level.

All other guys have to scrap for what they can get.

As a lot of the frustrated men say it's a 20% alpha guys get all the decent women/ 80% beta get your scraps if you can thing....and sadly that sounds about right.

The 20/80 rule they call it. It's sad yet pretty accurate.


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## SwtSurrender (Nov 24, 2014)

extremecaseofsocialphobia said:


> I have it. It does not matter what they look like attractive or unattractive when a female enters my vicinity I get more nervous tense when they show interest in me it reaches almost panic levels sad but true. I have never approached a female in a pick up romantic way.


It's interesting how social anxiety deals with finding lovers too, I thought it was only in friendships and strangers. It goes hang in hand. Get some prozac man.


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