# Can anyone explain therapy to me and does it help?



## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Hi i have had SA since i was born. When i was younger i assumed that i would just grow out of it. I am 19 now and just as anxious. I havent had any close friends since middle school and even then all my friends were extremely outgoing and would talk for me. 

I am now considering therapy. Can anyone explain what happens during therapy? I will probably make an appointment with my school's mental health services if I'm not to anxious to even do that. Did it help with your SA? How do i get them to prescribe me drugs? Do the drugs help?

Thanks in advance!


----------



## CoOlKiiD (Feb 8, 2013)

Hi. To be honest, you don't really need to go to see a therapist. It would save you a ton. Therapists would just tell you the things you already know. What I mean by that is... You know you have social anxiety, right? You know what you need to do to overcome your anxiety, right? If not, then I'll tell you. Face your fear. That is what the therapist would have you do. Well, that is what my therapist having me do in exposure therapy. I made a hierarchy of the level of my anxiety given in different situations. For instance, saying hi to a stranger would be a 2 for me whereas ordering food while dining in at a restaurant would be a 8. Each week I would try to attempt a lower level anxiety task until I feel comfortable doing them without feeling anxious, and then move up from there. I am pushing myself through all of these difficult tasks without the therapist. He doesn't follow me home now. I just go in to share with him what I did, which I think is a waste of time and money but different strokes for different folks. You just gotta believe in yourself. I'm 22 btw and was a selective mute starting from 3 years old to 20. If I can do it, you can too  No drugs is needed, also. Feel free to message me.


----------



## ec467 (Jan 29, 2013)

Hey, I agree with CoOLKid. I'm in college, and lately I've been feeling like I have few friends and I'm just generally unhappy here. My parents had me start seeing a therapist, and honestly, I hated it. I didn't feel comfortable with my therapist, and every time I stepped in her office, I felt worse. I could be really happy, but going to therapy would sap it away. We didn't have productive discussions and I would just cry. I think I came across as much worse off than I am. 
I can't speak for everyone, but I don't think therapy is right for me. Ultimately, I realize its up to me to change things. This is hard, but I can do it if I just concentrate on whatever I'm doing, whether it be homework or a conversation, get exercise, and keep busy. I cancelled on my therapist this week and it honestly felt great. My parents aren't happy, but therapy's not right for everyone.


----------



## cmela3 (Feb 10, 2013)

*Type of therapy that worked for me.*

2006- 2011 on and off with this therapist.
where to start.. This man helped me get over my mother and my
inability to meet her expectations and my fear of failure.
But this man had me doing everything that feels good for me.
Without repercussion. just as long as it was ethical.
He thought flings were a good idea.. NOT a healthy choice for me.

I started working on my relationship with the Lord during that time and 
more and more I became happy and less afraid as I was battling illness. But this therapist (aetheist) - he would encourage my faith as it made me well.. but his philosophy would negate it at times. He couldn't take my pain, fear, guilt, anxiety and self-condemnation away and prove to me that it wasn't deserved. He and I agreed I needed to pursue help that was in alignment with my beliefs. Over that 5 year period I watched him get more cynical...

2012 - I switched to Christian counseling. The biggest part of my anxiety was that I was DOING SOMETHING WRONG AND I DESERVED TO FEEL CONDEMNED AND SHAKE AND HAVE ILLNESS because I had some big strikes on my record for sure. On top of that I had suffered a bout of illness. I still have bouts of stress related illness but this Christian therapist would point me to things in the bible that would NEGATE THE LIES MY FEAR WAS TELLING MY BRAIN. Exercising my faith, READING THE TRUTH, meditative prayer, and SOCIALIZING WITH COMPASSIONATE CHRISTIANS, help so much. I'm not perfect but I know the person I see now who counsels me will be consistent to steer me to practices on the right path which leads to peace, healing and freedom thru Christ. - I do hope you find a good therapist who is on your side


----------



## FerociousFleur (Oct 30, 2012)

I'm going to differ with the other posters and say that counseling really helped me, at first. I went through counseling when I was in junior high, high school, and college for social anxiety, and they did Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy to improve my thinking patterns and help me to look at anxiety-inducing situations in a more realistic and positive way. It was very helpful for me because I blew things way out of proportion in my head, and would be completely crippled by anxiety about little things like talking to someone in class. They also helped me to figure out how to socialize -- when I was living in the dorms, I was always having awkward conversations with my roommate, and my counselor would give me advice on how to speak/converse more naturally.

But on the other hand, I've read a lot on the subject of social anxiety and social skills, and knowledge gained from books can be just as helpful; the only difference is that a counselor can give you advice and coping skills directly tailored to your life, and is a real human being that you can practice talking to.

Have you actively tried to read up on social anxiety/social skills? If so, has it helped you? I think a little bit of counseling is good for everyone -- so if you're curious about it, try it out. You can stop going at any time.

You have to see a psychiatrist specifically (or a doctor) to get medication. All you really have to do is ask for it, and explain your anxiety/depression/etc. 

Good luck to you!


----------



## pbanco (Jan 13, 2013)

Imbored21 said:


> Hi i have had SA since i was born. When i was younger i assumed that i would just grow out of it. I am 19 now and just as anxious. I havent had any close friends since middle school and even then all my friends were extremely outgoing and would talk for me.
> 
> I am now considering therapy. Can anyone explain what happens during therapy? I will probably make an appointment with my school's mental health services if I'm not to anxious to even do that. Did it help with your SA? How do i get them to prescribe me drugs? Do the drugs help?
> 
> Thanks in advance!


What goes on with therapy depends on the method used so there 
isn't any one answer to this. I think it's real difficult to change
ourselves without help, although it might be worth trying. No matter
what therapy mode the therapist uses; he or she is trying to help, and
this adds something to the equation. Those of us with SA, by nature,
might tend to want to fix our problems on our own. I think reaching
out for help is an important step. One question, I wonder how you
concluded that you have had SA since birth? Therapy certainly helped
me with my SA problem, and it was feeling based primal therapy where
the therapist was a good listener and encouraged me to express
feelings. A common theme with therapy for SA, I think, is that the therapist is going to encourage doing social things usually avoided,
as that will be necessary to make progress.


----------

