# Don't care much for this therapist...



## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

I saw a therapist yesterday morning...I had only seen her once before [but for a different reason], and I knew I wasn't going to like her...I didn't like her much the first time, she was very nosy and a smart ***. 
She seemed alright at first yesterdat, but then she started asking if I had any goals(I said no), why I wasn't working(I'm pregnant for one & otherwise just can't deal with people), why I wasn't in college(I have no interest), why I wouldn't continue to take medication(because the crap doesn't work & always causes OTHER problems), etc....and all she could do was argue with me basically...and I saw that we were gonna be there all day arguing so eventually I just had to agree with her and say "Yeah, ok." :roll Even though I was thinking "NO, you're wrong!"... Then I mentioned thoughts of disability and BIG MISTAKE...she's totally against it. She even laughed at me & shook her head, saying I could take medicine and "get better" and be able to work, that I'm still young, etc... :blah :wtf But what kind of ****ed up therapist LAUGHS at something her patient says?!
Then she always gets nosy and asks what the people I live with do for a living...yesterday she asked about my parents' jobs, because I said I was back at home...and how is their jobs relevant to my problems?! :stu The time before when I was living with my husband she asked HIM what he done for a living & why he wasn't at work that day. :con 
I just didn't like her at all as a therapist... I say if people can't understand mental illness then THEY NEED TO FIND A NEW JOB! And it's pretty clear that she doesn't understand anything about my problems.
I like pretty much all the other therapists there, and the psychiatrist though, suprisingly...they're all American though. This lady is foreign and I usually hate foreign doctors(and that doesn't mean I hate foreign people in general, I don't-- just as doctors! There have only been a couple of exceptions.)
I'm supposed to go back in a month but I don't wanna see her. :sigh


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## finster (Jul 5, 2007)

I hate to admit it but once in a while I will lie to my therapist to make it sound like I've been doing a little better than I am. Why do I do this - because I know I'm going to get exactly the same reaction and look I have a feeling you were getting - as if I don't feel like a big enough failure already. Do they even know how much work I put into only being a 90% failure in the eyes of the world? They really do want you to make progress but if it was easy we would have already done it.


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## mcnabj (May 21, 2005)

I tried therapy for awhile. Non of them understand SA. How could they. They don't suffer form it. The only people who really can relate is a fellow Sa victim. Therapist think you can will yourself out of this. Take some ssri and all will be better. I want to find a therapist who suffered from sa and beat it. That would be the guy/girl to talk to. Real advise might be gained. Wish everyone the best.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

finster said:


> I hate to admit it but once in a while I will lie to my therapist to make it sound like I've been doing a little better than I am. Why do I do this - because I know I'm going to get exactly the same reaction and look I have a feeling you were getting - as if I don't feel like a big enough failure already. Do they even know how much work I put into only being a 90% failure in the eyes of the world? They really do want you to make progress but if it was easy we would have already done it.


Yeah, seems like most of them want you to make impossible progress...if it were only as easy as taking pills every day and being happy & everything being just great. :roll 
I can see why you lie to your therapist... because they just don't understand if we aren't feeling any better.


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## amysagirl (Jul 14, 2008)

Shauna, make a doll for your therapist and you will bond with her. lol


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

mcnabj said:


> I tried therapy for awhile. Non of them understand SA. How could they. They don't suffer form it. The only people who really can relate is a fellow Sa victim. Therapist think you can will yourself out of this. Take some ssri and all will be better. I want to find a therapist who suffered from sa and beat it. That would be the guy/girl to talk to. Real advise might be gained. Wish everyone the best.


Yeah it would be nice to find a therapist/psychiatrist who has/had SA too...or some form of mental problem. I told my mom it would be a good job for me & her, if we could stand to work/go to college/etc....because at least we would be understanding & not make fun of people for their problems!


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

amysagirl said:


> Shauna, make a doll for your therapist and you will bond with her. lol


I don't think it would be a good idea to even show her one of my dolls...she'd probably send me straight to the nut house. :afr
Or would at least laugh at it, or say I should make "happy things"...I can just hear it now :blah :b


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## shy_chick (Sep 27, 2006)

Are you able to find a new therapist? She doesn't sound very helpful for you.

I've had some doctors make insensitive comments, but I don't think they realised it was insensitive e.g. my job is not the job I worked for for 4 years on a PhD for (no-that's why I'm depressed!) Maybe you need to take her comments differently, if you don't want to change therapist?


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Yeah, the laughter isn't very professional if you're painfully trying to express your worries/feelings. Even if they don't mean anything negative from it, it's just not the kind of reaction that one would expect out of someone with empathy.

I joke around with my therapist sometimes, but it's a part of my defense system. I even make her laugh, but I think it's just one of the heads of my many-headed defense beast. Laughter = don't have to address sad emotions.

If it doesn't get much better, look for another therapist. It seems like you'd like someone who shows a deep level of empathy without pushing you very much.

Goals are important, but I definitely understand how difficult it can be to identify and set them. I think that's the main difficulty with me. When I set my mind on something I want to do, I'm actually fairly confident that I can do it. But it's finding the passion and identifying a goal that is compatible with your passion that can be difficult. It can be a process...not just something you immediately know upon a therapist asking you.

Don't feel bad about not being sure about these things. It takes time.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

shy_chick said:


> Are you able to find a new therapist? She doesn't sound very helpful for you.
> 
> I've had some doctors make insensitive comments, but I don't think they realised it was insensitive e.g. my job is not the job I worked for for 4 years on a PhD for (no-that's why I'm depressed!) Maybe you need to take her comments differently, if you don't want to change therapist?


I don't know if I can find a halfway decent one or not. I'm thinking about calling there and asking if I can see someone else--ANYONE ELSE besides her because I don't appreciate being made fun of and laughed at, and how is that gonna help anyone anyway? :con And if not maybe I'll just tell them I won't be back. I like the psychiatrist there alright, I wish they'd just let me see him. Or one of the other women, I'm not sure if they're really therapists though. But anybody would be better & more helpful than this foreign lady :mum


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

ardrum said:


> Yeah, the laughter isn't very professional if you're painfully trying to express your worries/feelings. Even if they don't mean anything negative from it, it's just not the kind of reaction that one would expect out of someone with empathy.
> 
> I joke around with my therapist sometimes, but it's a part of my defense system. I even make her laugh, but I think it's just one of the heads of my many-headed defense beast. Laughter = don't have to address sad emotions.
> 
> ...


I don't even wanna go back another time...I know it won't get any better with her...she's a *****. And I'm afraid to even say anything to her really because it's like she's just making fun of everything. ****ing foreigners, they need to stay in their own damn country and doctor their own ****ing people! I've only known of like 2 foreign doctors who were ever decent(one of them was actually exceptionally nice, the other was ok), the rest have been assholes and I dread seeing/talking to any of them. Just like that one doctor I seen, his name was Dr. Zusman or Dr. Zeesman or some crap like that but I called him "Dr. Beastman" because he was an *******! And no I'm not racist, I just don't like foreigners as doctors, as I've said before...especially as psychiatrists/therapists. They don't understand anything & need to find a new profession!


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

all the therapists i seen dont know very much about sa


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

this one doesn't know much about anything! she's pretty much brain dead.


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## danielk (Jun 4, 2008)

Doesn't sound like a good match. What are you looking for in a therapist?


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

somebody who's not a *****/*******? :stu and won't laugh at me.


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## User (Mar 20, 2004)

Yeah, there are a lot of therapists out there who don't get SA at all. That lady obviously had no idea how to talk to/treat a SAer. SA is extremely complex to treat especially when it has significantly impaired your ability to function (also, when it's gone untreated for years, decades for some of us). If I met a therapist/psychiatrist/etc. who didn't acknowledge that fact, then I would refuse to see them.



> It seems like you'd like someone who shows a deep level of empathy without pushing you very much.


I've got one like that. Been seeing him for two years, and subjectively I've improved a lot (however, I still am without job, school or friends :sigh ). I guess a lot of people would look at that, and say that a. the therapy isn't working, b. I'm not working hard enough, or c. both. However, I'd counter by saying that recovering from severe SA/avoidant personality disorder doesn't happen overnight. It's a slow, difficult process. Pressuring and criticizing somebody with a mental illness only does more damage.


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## danielk (Jun 4, 2008)

Shauna The Dead said:


> somebody who's not a @#%$/@$$#? :stu and won't laugh at me.


I know what you _don't_ want. What about what you _do_ want? Expectations?


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## Babygirly (Dec 2, 2004)

umm ..she doesnt sound professional at all... well, maybe a professional jerk....!!!

ugh, i'll have to concur way too many people are in this area when they shouldn't be...

if she has a comment card or something (like at those restaurants :lol) you should fill it out and tell her to find a new career - STAT . . .


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

danielk said:


> Shauna The Dead said:
> 
> 
> > somebody who's not a @#%$/@$$#? :stu and won't laugh at me.
> ...


like I said, just somebody nice. :stu and understanding. or at least somebody who pretends to be understanding i guess, since I think no one is unless they go through the same ****.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

User said:


> Pressuring and criticizing somebody with a mental illness only does more damage.


 :ditto


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

Babygirly said:


> umm ..she doesnt sound professional at all... well, maybe a professional jerk....!!!
> 
> ugh, i'll have to concur way too many people are in this area when they shouldn't be...
> 
> if she has a comment card or something (like at those restaurants :lol) you should fill it out and tell her to find a new career - STAT . . .


I think I'm gonna tell the people at the desk that she needs to find a new career. :b


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

I don't have to see her anymore! :boogie They're giving me the nice American therapist next time.


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## User (Mar 20, 2004)

^ Sounds good. I'm glad to hear that things worked out :clap .


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

thanks :b


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