# Being 'annoying' while trying to be social



## Rissaro (Aug 24, 2014)

This year has been tough, especially with me transferring to a new school system and the trouble I've been experiencing trying to make friends. I'm having so many issues and have barely any friends or people I can just comfortably chat with. I'm 15 and I'm so lonely all the time. My problem is whenever I try to be social to someone back i always come across as creepy, clingy, and annoying. No one ever wants me around. For example there was this girl who I thought was my friend. She started talking to me gave me her #, Instagram, and invited me over blah blah. Anyways, I thought "oh maybe someone I can trust and be friends with finally." Then this week at school I heard her say "(my name) is so annoying. She texts me 24/7 and stalks my Instagram." She didn't know I heard her say it but I did unfortunately. It was weird though because I only texted her 2 or 3 times over the course of two months (which she ignored 2 of them) and liked maybe 2 of her photos. Was that too much? Was I really that overbearing? I also tried to ask this person i thought who seemed like my friend (because they talked to me everyday for 3 months) for their number and they said yes but never gave it to me and they seemed really uncomfortable. I wonder why they didn't just say no to begin with honestly. Why is it that people tell me if I want friends i have to make an effort to be social too but when I do people tell me I'm creepy and annoying and to **** off? When I don't try people tell me I'm antisocial, invisible, friendless, and too quiet. What am I doing so wrong?


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## Nothing123 (Oct 3, 2014)

Woah. That really sucks! I'm sorry to hear that happened to u :/ 

i'd be crushed if that happened to me. 

I've never been TOLD im annoying (per se) but i know i am  haha

I'm either really talkative and overbearing or im really quiet and come off as rude :/

Im here to talk to anyway


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## LunaBlitz (Nov 1, 2014)

You weren't annoying at all that girl was just immature and probably did that just to make herself seem more likable and popular. Delete her number and never talk to her again. You have to remember there are a lot of back stabbers in high school and just back stabbers period. 

One thing I learned about people your age they only want to be friends with those they consider cool. But will follow anyone who walks with confidence and self assurance. Talk with confidence and be social anyway but keep people at a distance for right now cause kids your age can be very messy and two faced. Show that you don't need their approval for anything and eventually there will be those who like that and will try to get to know you. But fair warning there will be those who are jealous of that confidence and will try everything in their power to break it. When you find it don't let them break it. 

Keep being yourself and don't let others worry you so much. Stay positive and you will have friends. Remember plenty of people on here to talk to.


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## saturn21 (Jul 8, 2014)

A lot of teenagers are jerks, especially at 14/15, so don't let these experiences get you down! Like LunaBlitz said, just be confident about yourself! People usually flock to confident-looking people. Detach yourself from those people _immediately_ and try and get to know some other people, since not everyone is as mean as them.

Join a few clubs, those are a great place to meet new people. Don't be afraid of butting in or disrupting a social circle, just go for it! You're bound to meet a few failures like the example you have in your original post, but don't let those discourage you. Good luck!


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## Rissaro (Aug 24, 2014)

Thanks for the advice  it's really hard to know who's good and who's not, I always have to be careful who I trust. But yeah I'm planning on joining art club so I'm hoping to meet some new people. This brought me down but I'm not giving up yet. :yes


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## 2school4cool (Nov 10, 2014)

That must be hard. From the sound of it, you didn't come across as overbearing and maybe that girl just wanted an interesting topic of conversation.

But I'm wondering how soon you ask for people's numbers and the way you ask for it. When I want someone's number, I try to click with them first. You know, size them up and we can both see if we're each potential friends. If we have a good time talking, maybe at the end of class, I'll ask for their # or they'll ask for mine. And I don't want to sound creepy about it so I'll say it like "hey how bout you give me your number so we can talk if we need anything?" 

I don't think I've ever made anyone uncomfortable by doing those 2 things. Good luck and just kind of play it cool. Never come across as desperate for friendship.


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## Rissaro (Aug 24, 2014)

Idk when I asked for someone's number (which I don't often at all) I already have know them for some time (2-3 months). If we chat a little everyday and I want to get to know them a little better I'll say something along the lines of "hey I was wondering if Maybe I could get your kik or number." I try to act casual but I think I come across as awkward sometimes. There has to be some reason why nobody wants me around and I'm still trying to figure out what that is. Maybe I do come across as desperate without even realizing it?


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## Rissaro (Aug 24, 2014)

Idk when I asked for someone's number (which I don't often at all) I already have know them for some time (2-3 months). If we chat a little everyday and I want to get to know them a little better I'll say something along the lines of "hey I was wondering if Maybe I could get your kik or number." I try to act casual but I think I come across as awkward sometimes. There has to be some reason why nobody wants me around and I'm still trying to figure out what that is. Maybe I do come across as desperate without even realizing it?


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## Rissaro (Aug 24, 2014)

Sorry for posting that twice oops ^


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## skyisblue (Nov 7, 2014)

This is a case of someone making up reasons why they don't want to hang out with you. 

Sadly, if someone doesn't like someone, they may search for reasons to not hang out with them. 

A little advice. If someone doesn't respond to a first text, don't text them back until they respond. 

Sorry but when someone ignores a person's texts, that's often a big sign they aren't interested in that person. Especially among girl to girl interactions.


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## AndrewUK83 (May 27, 2014)

Girls are evil in groups far nastier than guys especially against other girls, chances are she was just using you as part of her conversation and there is nothing girls enjoy more than *****ing about other girls, I am afraid people like that have no loyalties just consider it a bullet dodged.


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## Rissaro (Aug 24, 2014)

Yeah I can take a hint when someone doesn't want to be my friend so I always back away which is what I did in this case. Ik there's no point in trying to win people over or make them like me if they don't. Oh well at least i Learned from this situation.


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## AndrewUK83 (May 27, 2014)

Rissaro said:


> Yeah I can take a hint when someone doesn't want to be my friend so I always back away which is what I did in this case. Ik there's no point in trying to win people over or make them like me if they don't. Oh well at least i Learned from this situation.


Yeah true I applaud your positive attitude despite the circumstances you handled things really well a lot would find it hard to recover from that


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## Rissaro (Aug 24, 2014)

I do find it really hard to recover from it. I'm really sad about it. I was hurt by it because she seemed so nice. The thing is things like this happy to me TOO OFTEN. That's why I think I must be screwing up somehow because I always end up making everyone hate me and not want to be around me. I'm not a mean person so idk :/


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## Rissaro (Aug 24, 2014)

It was also odd because we did text back and forth at the beginning and she seemed really cool. I told her some personal stuff i really regret now because she's not who I thought she was. Now I'm not trusting anyone like that before I REALLY know them. It's so weird though like everything seemed to be going great between us and she was even urging me to try to be more social and helping me make friends. It was just like all of the sudden... People are so confusing.


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## xXselfconsciousXx (Oct 6, 2011)

i agree with the others, teenage girls can be really mean sometimes and judgemental. i had a similar experience to yours a few years ago. and i now sometimes still struggle with feeling annoying even when i'm not :/


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## LunaBlitz (Nov 1, 2014)

Rissaro said:


> It was also odd because we did text back and forth at the beginning and she seemed really cool. I told her some personal stuff i really regret now because she's not who I thought she was. Now I'm not trusting anyone like that before I REALLY know them. It's so weird though like everything seemed to be going great between us and she was even urging me to try to be more social and helping me make friends. It was just like all of the sudden... People are so confusing.


You never know one of her other friends could have gotten jealous and convinced her to drop you. People your age can be very flip floppy when it comes to friends. I hated high school it was the worst days of my life, but I made it through and the more mature you become the more mature people you will attract. And yeah don't tell people personal stuff at least until you've known them like a year or so. Some people can't handle what you tell them and they get scared off.


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