# Indifferent and Detached from everyone and everything



## MisterJ25 (Nov 5, 2009)

For my entire life I have felt detached and indifferent to a lot around me. And I think because of the stigma early on, I had anxiety about not fitting in or being like them, so I started faking being enthusiastic in my life and It worked by making me less noticable, but I have felt like I have been wearing a mask lately. That the real me is someone who doesn't want to talk to people and doesn't care about social conventions, but I pretend to be enthusiatic towards people for some reason. I really don't have a problem with my anxiety anymore because I just stopped caring about the world around me. I have actually been happy lately and I think it is because that I stopped trying to live up to impossible expectations and just started doing my own thing and not really caring what people around me have to say. 

Has anyone ever felt or is feeling like this?


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## Arbor (Jun 17, 2009)

Yeah. Breaking expectations for me is a slow process. Today I often laughed with others while watching a movie even though I didn't think it was funny. But then half the time I didn't laugh, even though they did, and I felt good for being myself, though a little uneasy. Normally I'd feel anxious about it and wonder if they were angry at me for not sharing the expected reaction.

Breaking the attachment to convention's part of what I'm trying to do too... I notice that I don't actually care if I break social norms. The only thing I ever cared about was how I'd be perceived for doing it.


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## friend_Z (Jan 3, 2006)

Good post. 

I think I understand what you're driving at...I've carried those feelings of detachment and indifference for some time now. And I've faked, to a degree, a sense of enthusiasm so as not to stand out and be labeled as a "downer." I've always tried to avoid being the target of ridicule. Though I feel my exaggerated enthusiasm has done just that - made me a target of ridicule.

I also feel like I might be reaching my own apex, as far as my empathy and caring for others goes. It leaves me with mixed feelings of worry and relief. I am at a point where I just want to focus on improving myself.

I really don't care much for small talk and I really don't like gossiping about others, if I can help it. For a long time, I used to be really gung-ho about focusing on the "here and now," about being constructive and helping others in any ways I could, whether I knew them or not. I tried to treat EVERYONE as an equal. I tried to be interested in people and their lives, asking them questions about themselves, only to find very few who would reciprocate and take some sort of interest in me.

It's so exhausting and ultimately so futile. A lot of people will take from you whatever they can, without giving much in return. I feel like a lot of people have taken advantage of me over the years.

It makes me feel a bit sad because I feel like everyone is heading in that direction. But maybe it's just me and my perceptions. Everyone seems to be about advancing their own personal agenda, not showing much concern for anyone else.

I don't know what to do about that. I feel more tired than bitter. I guess, maybe, it's about learning to feel more and more comfortable with yourself.


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## friend_Z (Jan 3, 2006)

Arbor said:


> I notice that I don't actually care if I break social norms. The only thing I ever cared about was how I'd be perceived for doing it.


Right on. Looks like it's time to break away, free from worry.


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## stars (Nov 20, 2009)

Yep. 
This is way to freedom and happiness. Be your true self no matter what others think.


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## madelinechism (Feb 13, 2012)

In previous or rather past experciences I'd feel so much resulting from upsetting situations that afterawhile anything i'd felt dissolved completely.I wonder every now and again had i not made this change how chatotic tommorow had been and so on.Lately i dont really feel one way or the other.Friends were never beneficial for anything but stress im not entirally anti-social but i do refrain from interaction the majority of the time.I dont really focus on anything in particular.I just live in now if something goes wrong its like im unaware because despite this slight interuption in reality atleeast from my perspective its like mood wise nothings changed.People always ask if somethings wrong but i think everythings never been more held together.


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