# Is lack of sex unhealthy?



## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

So do you think that lack of sex is unhealthy?

I do. Fully functioning adults _should_ be having regular sex imo. I heard somewhere that people who have full sex lives live longer and are happier, fitter.....etc, i dont know if thats scientifically proven or anything but i can certainly believe it. Not being able to fulfill one of the most natural adult human needs is incredibly frustrating, and it also makes me absolutely worthless as a human being.

What do you guys think?


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

It's probably more to do with loneliness and the stress associated with it than with lack of sex in itself. A lot of people who have gone many years without sex find ways to deal with it so that it's not constantly depressing them. And I also wouldn't discount the media's role in constantly reminding us that we're supposed to be having sex and making us feel defective for not having it. I think that is one of the biggest reasons why lack of sex causes distress. I think the biological imperative to have sex is overemphasized.


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

nemesis1 said:


> it also makes me absolutely worthless as a human being.


With this attitude it's no wonder that not having sex is dramatically decreasing your quality of life.

There's more to life than sex, and your sense of self worth should not rest solely on how often you get laid. Not having sex doesn't make you a defective person. We all have more to offer this world than just sexuality.

The need for sex is instinctual, and the lack of it can lead to frustration, but abstinence in and of itself will not adversely affect your physical health in any way.


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## Deathinmusic (Jun 5, 2009)

I think the complete lack of touch and physical intimacy is psychologically harmful, yes. At least if one has to go without it for a really long time. It's not necessarily the lack of sex itself. That might be a slightly narrow view. Most people can get off by themselves quite easily but that doesn't provide the closeness and emotional connection with another person and the feeling of being wanted and desirable.


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## voospenvi2734 (Dec 2, 2010)

au Lait said:


> With this attitude it's no wonder that not having sex is dramatically decreasing your quality of life.
> 
> There's more to life than sex, and your sense of self worth should not rest solely on how often you get laid. Not having sex doesn't make you a defective person. We all have more to offer this world than just sexuality.
> 
> The need for sex is instinctual, and the lack of it can lead to frustration, but abstinence in and of itself will not adversely affect your physical health in any way.


:clap


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

I think it could be psychologically damaging, sure.


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## watashi (Feb 6, 2008)

Deathinmusic said:


> I think the complete lack of touch and physical intimacy is psychologically harmful, yes. At least if one has to go without it for a really long time. It's not necessarily the lack of sex itself. That might be a slightly narrow view. Most people can get off by themselves quite easily but that doesn't provide the closeness and emotional connection with another person and the feeling of being wanted and desirable.


Yes, it can be depressing for that reason and depression is not healthy.


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## Fantas Eyes (Mar 23, 2011)

au Lait said:


> With this attitude it's no wonder that not having sex is dramatically decreasing your quality of life.
> 
> There's more to life than sex, and your sense of self worth should not rest solely on how often you get laid. Not having sex doesn't make you a defective person. We all have more to offer this world than just sexuality.
> 
> The need for sex is instinctual, and the lack of it can lead to frustration, but abstinence in and of itself will not adversely affect your physical health in any way.


"likes"


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

What about all the old Buddhist monks who don't have sex and live a very long time? I also thinks its more about companionship than sex.


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

Although Barry White would disagree....never enough baby..
.never enough.


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## Nameless Someone (Oct 21, 2010)

au Lait said:


> With this attitude it's no wonder that not having sex is dramatically decreasing your quality of life.
> 
> There's more to life than sex, and your sense of self worth should not rest solely on how often you get laid. Not having sex doesn't make you a defective person. We all have more to offer this world than just sexuality.


This

And let's not erase asexual people, most of whom do just dandy without sex. So lack of sex isn't frustrating for _everyone_.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

On its own, the lack of sexual intercourse is not unhealthy and it's asinine to think so. Physically speaking, you're more likely to endanger your health, through STDs, with sex. If you add in all the societal garbage, peer pressure, media pressure and personal goals (which change with the times), then the lack of it could cause low self-esteem and alienation.


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## CeilingStarer (Dec 29, 2009)

I've heard that masturbation doesn't actually do the job right. Actual intimacy with a women stimulates the prostate better, refreshes the body and maintains healthy hormone levels or something. I don't know. It wouldn't surprise me though to be honest.

I think abstinence is very bad for psychological (and consequent physical) health, when there's no belief system for the abstaining. i.e. a Buddhist monk is fine with it, because it's what his religion/lifestyle demands. Same with a Christian holding out for marriage, or an asexual who has no interest. It's all noble; they don't feel like a loser. But for others who want intimacy with a partner, and can't get it for whatever reason, it's damaging.

As someone currently in this position, I've put it out of my mind, and have learned to accept it for now (until I sort some stuff out)... but it still eats at me every night, as I lay alone in bed. This cannot be good for health.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

I didn't have sex for over two years and the lack of it didn't bother me one bit.

If the absence of sex actually bugs you, then maybe. But still, I think it's more of a psychological issue than a physical issue.


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

It's definitely lonliness/companionship i think. Biologically i can just whack it, which i do.


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## StevenGlansberg (Apr 1, 2009)

Deathinmusic said:


> I think the complete lack of touch and physical intimacy is psychologically harmful, yes. At least if one has to go without it for a really long time. It's not necessarily the lack of sex itself. That might be a slightly narrow view. Most people can get off by themselves quite easily but that doesn't provide the closeness and emotional connection with another person and the feeling of being wanted and desirable.


Yeah...


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

Imho, the only people who will try to argue that a no sex life is good are the ones who don't get it. Its like a bum picking up the crumbs that fall off the table and tryies to argue his meal is better than the warm roasted chicken with freshly baked bread that on the table.

Sex is healthy and is far easier to feel good about yourself after you've had a good one than having no sex and feeling frustrated and letting your body cry out for it. Seriously, think about that. Why deny your real feelings? Because it hurts when you know you can't get it or won't probably ever get it. It sucks when you realize it, it really does. Remove the social anxiety and who wouldn't want to experience the bond and intimacy and intense pleasure of sexual intercourse.


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## Hot Chocolate (Sep 29, 2008)

I didn't have sex for 24 years. It's not bothering me as I could beat off by myself lol.


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## Mur (Jan 20, 2011)

Nah, but it CAN be. It's been almost a year for me, I desire more than simply getting my rocks off physically -- that doesn't feel like enough. It's cliche as hell but connecting emotionally is far far far more rewarding, at least that's how I feel about it.


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

I've managed to survive almost 36 years without any physical intimacy or affection. No kissing, hugging, cuddling, or sex. Its a major source of depression and frustration for me. As hard as I try to put it out of my mind and focus on other things, I still think about it every day, wondering what it must feel like. On the other hand, its also hard to miss something you've never had.



Deathinmusic said:


> I think the complete lack of touch and physical intimacy is psychologically harmful, yes. At least if one has to go without it for a really long time. It's not necessarily the lack of sex itself. That might be a slightly narrow view. Most people can get off by themselves quite easily but that doesn't provide the closeness and emotional connection with another person and the feeling of being wanted and desirable.


Yeah...


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## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

I'd say no.
It's just like wanting ice cream really really bad.. but you don't need it to live lol


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## keithp (Mar 13, 2007)

Sex can relieve stress and anxiety so if you have a partner to do that with it can help you feel better i'd say. Without it your missing a small form of pleasure most people get to experience sometimes. By yourself just isn't as pleasurable as it would be with someone no matter what people say.....


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Lack of sex is not unhealthy. But lack of physical intimacy is. I think that if everyone had a shoulder to cry on and someone to cuddle, there would not be any psychopaths and antisocial people in this world, and the world would be a safer and more peaceful place.


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## BossesRJerks (Jun 15, 2011)

I am so ugly and disfigured that I couldn't any if I paid for it, so I guess it makes no difference to someone like me.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

No. But it _can_ make someone feel unwanted and that can be damaging to their mental health.


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## Pam (Feb 14, 2009)

Yes, it's unhealthy, imo. I don't know about everyone else, but it is one of my basic physical/emotional needs, not just something extra like cake or ice cream.


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## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

Masturbation: sex with someone I love.
I **** her everyday.. lol
Seriously though,
if you're single what else are you going to do?
In order to stay "healthy" do we all need to go ****ing random people, have a FWB etc? Nothing wrong with that, I've lived lol, but too much of that is risky.
I think people in relationships who like sex definitely should be having it.. but if you are working the same muscles alone, fantasizing, and orgasming.. doesn't your body become tricked into thinking your hand is.. part of somebody else. So you don't necessarily need to have sex with another person. And that emotional bonding thing.. well not everybody gets what they want in life sorry lol and a lot of people who have sex maybe do not care for each other (bad relationships/marraiges.. whatever).. you can be bonded in a bad way too (ex. girl has sex with a d-bag and gets attached because of hormones and wishes she didn't). And those situations can cause more stress and therefore probably reduce any health benefits of the sex. See isn't sex complicated? lol
I want to say masturbation is healthy, unless you are asexual or for whatever medical reasons can't/won't go there.. or religious reasons I guess too.. but when people say preferences like "I don't masturbate.. everytime I'm horny I get a guy to get me off".. that doesn't make sense. If you were really that horny you would want to get yourself off fast, not wait forever for your bf to show up (exception to this is live in couples/marriages etc.. but even once in a while your S.O. might not be around.. why not do it yourself?). Anything he can do to her she can do to herself. It would benefit the girl to be in touch with herself. Literally haha. Reduces stress too. So if you're comfortable with it, masturbation is good for health.. no STDS, no pregnancy.. just make sure your hands are clean I guess. Oh and if you have a cold sore NEVER touch down there.. you can give yourself herpes. I'm serious lol. My mom taught sex ed at my school in grade 5.. I've heard it all :\. 
So yeah, my boredom has become a long post about masturbating LOL. I think pro/con wise it has more benefits than sex, exception if you're in a committed relationship.
Still people deserve the right to go do what they want to take the risks they want, it's their life.. just saying technically speaking though, imo.


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## tutliputli (Feb 22, 2009)

^ LOL Kathy. Yay for fapping! :yay


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I suppose it is, although it's not something I can help.


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## ImWeird (Apr 26, 2010)

Sex is nice.


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

Sex is only a need in terms of continuing the human race. Otherwise it's just a want. Sex isn't necessary for a healthy relationship. Sure it helps, but so does affection and cuddling.


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## Wacky Wednesdays (Apr 10, 2011)

--> Masturbation<--

Abstinence is perfectly healthy! Not exactly keen to do anyone atm to be honest. I haven't had sex since Jan :| dry spell much.


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## CeilingStarer (Dec 29, 2009)

Wacky Wednesdays said:


> I haven't had sex since Jan :| dry spell much.


Urr... I think you'd find that to be a flood (of biblical proportions) for many members here.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

CeilingStarer said:


> Urr... I think you'd find that to be a flood (of biblical proportions) for many members here.


Yeah, I haven't had sex since...well, never.


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## JFmtl (Dec 23, 2008)

Deathinmusic said:


> I think the complete lack of touch and physical intimacy is psychologically harmful, yes. At least if one has to go without it for a really long time. It's not necessarily the lack of sex itself. That might be a slightly narrow view. Most people can get off by themselves quite easily but that doesn't provide the closeness and emotional connection with another person and the feeling of being wanted and desirable.


most definitely agreed



laura024 said:


> Sex is only a need in terms of continuing the human race. Otherwise it's just a want.* Sex isn't necessary for a healthy relationship*. Sure it helps, but so does affection and cuddling.


What is necessary for an healthy relationships depends entirely on the people involved with it. We dont all have the same needs and expectations, the formula for a healthy relationship isn't a one size fits all. Some people dont need sex at all to have a happy relationship, which is fine. But for many people, male or female, a good satisfying sex life is a very important aspect in order to have a true fulfilling relationship, and should not be made feel guilty for that.


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

Deathinmusic said:


> I think the complete lack of touch and physical intimacy is psychologically harmful, yes. At least if one has to go without it for a really long time. It's not necessarily the lack of sex itself. That might be a slightly narrow view. Most people can get off by themselves quite easily but that doesn't provide the closeness and emotional connection with another person and the feeling of being wanted and desirable.





Perfectionist said:


> I didn't have sex for over two years and the lack of it didn't bother me one bit.
> 
> If the absence of sex actually bugs you, then maybe. But still, I think it's more of a psychological issue than a physical issue.


Psychological issues can become physical problems pretty fast.

And yes, I would say lack of love and sex are very unhealthy for someone in their 30s.


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## Deathinmusic (Jun 5, 2009)

Classified said:


> Psychological issues can become physical problems pretty fast.


Without a doubt, yeah. Mental and physical health go hand in hand.


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

JFmtl said:


> most definitely agreed
> 
> What is necessary for an healthy relationships depends entirely on the people involved with it. We dont all have the same needs and expectations, the formula for a healthy relationship isn't a one size fits all. Some people dont need sex at all to have a happy relationship, which is fine. But for many people, male or female, a good satisfying sex life is a very important aspect in order to have a true fulfilling relationship, and should not be made feel guilty for that.


Well people can do what they want. If sex fulfills their relationships, they can go ahead and do that. I'm not trying to make anyone feel guilty. I just don't feel that sex is a basic need.


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## psb (Apr 20, 2012)

*lonly guy!*

Have you ever gone to a therapist. Found out what is preventing you from having sex? I have had sex but not as much as I would like. I have a lot of social anxiety with women. But almost anyone can get sex. 36 years with no sex is difficult. I would find out what the problem is. Appearance, personality etc..... There is someone for everyone


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## Mahglazzies (Apr 14, 2012)

All I know is, going from having sex 2-3 times a day every day (more or less) for five years straight to not having sex at all anymore is... a bit of an adjustment. 

Jesus, is it ever.

However, I don't think it's necessarily unhealthy. There's always the option of masturbation. Not exactly fulfilling on anything besides a sexual level, but it is healthy and helps keep things moving along.


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## alissaxvanity (Dec 26, 2011)

I think that depends on your sex drive, but if you are constantly unsatisfied, I know from experience that it can feel very physically daunting and I doubt it's very good for you overall. Which goes for having other needs constantly unsatisfied as well.


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## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

I could not care less about it.


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## Kascheritt (Mar 7, 2012)

Those who have it regularly are most likely healthier in both mind and body. But I don't give damn about it.


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## Ashley1990 (Aug 27, 2011)

*Thats stupid to think this...paranoia..!!*


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

I just love it when people who have half-way regular sex come in here saying how a lack of sex isn't a big deal.

You don't get it.

If you WANT IT and you're NOT HAVING IT, then YES, obviously it's unhealthy to go without it because it's going to do a number on your mental health, which in turn affects your physical health. Just because _you_ don't think it's important doesn't mean the next person feels the same way.

Abstaining, by itself, isn't that big a deal (although research points to a lot of health benefits in having regular sex). The more important question is WHY you are abstaining (particularly from an intimate relationship, period - not just sex) and whether it's by choice.


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## This is my Life (Mar 30, 2012)

I think there is a distinction between a person with a high sex drive and actually needing sex. Some people can literally get turned on quite easily through slight physical contact or any provocative action. Whereas pressure to have sex due to societal norm is another thing. I think generally a person doesn't need to have sex to remain healthy, since there are many ways to stay healthy or release stress through other activities


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## EZRAT (Jun 17, 2011)

The benefits of regular sex are ridiculous. It relives stress, it's exercise (I like to call it sexercise), you releases _massive_ amounts of endorphins (bye bye, depression!). If it isn't then I wouldn't masturbate so much.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

If it's involuntary celibacy, then yes.

Otherwise, no.


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## AfarOff (Mar 29, 2012)

au Lait said:


> With this attitude it's no wonder that not having sex is dramatically decreasing your quality of life.
> 
> There's more to life than sex, and your sense of self worth should not rest solely on how often you get laid. Not having sex doesn't make you a defective person. We all have more to offer this world than just sexuality.
> 
> The need for sex is instinctual, and the lack of it can lead to frustration, but abstinence in and of itself will not adversely affect your physical health in any way.


I love you.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

I doubt it's unhealthy, but as far as physically intimacy goes I'd much rather prefer a cuddle. So yeah, it really doesn't matter much to me anyway~


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

no, it's actually beneficial for a person's health


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## Lightwing12star (Jan 9, 2012)

_*Well i am asexual (i don't have sexual attraction to people or sexual desires), i never masturbate and am a virgin. I am very happy being this way, but i don't have any sexual desires to begin with,i am a a bit repulsed by it. But maybe if you have the desire and are not having sex, it may be worse. My bf is asexual as well. so we both don't have sexual desire.I am very healthy physically and although i have depression that is due to lonliness mentally. I doubt it is bad not 2 have it therefore. Not all humans want it,about 1 percent don't (asexuals).*_


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## Gamerwithtwokids (Aug 28, 2014)

*Hell yes*

I started having sex a lot later than all my friends which made me feel terrible. When all the lads are stood around complaining that they aren't getting any because their girls are on I'd mutter something along the lines of "at least you get some" and all I'll get in response would be "oh it's ok for you. You don't know what you're missing" that used to eat me up inside. During my first relationship after a year or so the sex dried up. It was all my fault as my problems pushed the girl away. The period before she dumped me was one of the worst in my life. Constant paranoia about her getting it else where. All the issues about my attractiveness etc resurfaced to make it all ten times worse.
That relationship ended. Five years of no sex or even contact from woman and I met my present partner. Two kids later and due to our living arrangements (with her mum) we only have the chance to do the sideways mamba once a week. Depending on my girlfriends mood and health this usually ends up as once a month. She recently has had treatment for cervical pre-cancer so no sex for ten weeks. I obviously don't hold any ill will over this. I'd rather no sex for a bit than the alternative. This said I have grown more depressed, easy to anger and restless. My sciatica has started to act up and the feelings of been unloved or unattractive have come back. No sex thought choice must be fine as one would remain in control. If I could take a tablet to kill my sex drive I would in a heartbeat. I know my self esteem issues magnify this problem and this whole post must seem rather pathetic but that's me all over


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## EmptyEyes (Aug 25, 2014)

The problem with a lot of this is confusing symptom and causes. Are you depressed because no one will have sex with you, or will no one have sex with you because you're depressed? Most people are able to find someone to love and be physically intimate with, it's actually not that hard for normal people, it's so easy that we're overpopulated! So I think it's less about not getting physical intimacy, and more about what types of people are the ones struggling with getting physical intimacy.


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## Vallarfax (Jul 31, 2014)

Just Lurking said:


> I just love it when people who have half-way regular sex come in here saying how a lack of sex isn't a big deal.
> 
> You don't get it.
> 
> ...


And a lot of responses are well sex isn't the most important thing in life like we don't ****ing know that.


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## Wagnerian (Aug 5, 2014)

Ape in space said:


> It's probably more to do with loneliness and the stress associated with it than with lack of sex in itself. A lot of people who have gone many years without sex find ways to deal with it so that it's not constantly depressing them. And I also wouldn't discount the media's role in constantly reminding us that we're supposed to be having sex and making us feel defective for not having it. I think that is one of the biggest reasons why lack of sex causes distress. I think the biological imperative to have sex is overemphasized.


I agree.....I'm 99% sure I'm never having sex and I'm not despondent over it at all.

What does trouble me is loneliness and a lack of connection to others.

And I wonder why it is seen as such a big deal by everyone on SO many different levels. I think it's more on the cultural than biological end, personally.


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## LetItBurn33 (May 24, 2014)

A persons thoughts are what makes it unhealthy. If i care what society thinks of me and am unsuccessful, that it unhealthy. Society is also unhealthy.. most people are caught in the same trap of misery.

Not very many people have gone beyond the spot one is in when they have no pleasure or hope.. yet when they do they see that the quality of life of one who is alone and has no pleasure because they are free of society is much more rich than to live as most people do.


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## SeanT (Aug 24, 2014)

if i do get laid i doubt it'll be any time in the near future & i probably have to pay for it.


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