# IT'S GONE. I've Been Free of Social Anxiety for 2 Years. Here's How.



## WhiteRaven (Feb 3, 2008)

Hi all, I haven't posted here for a long time because I had no need to. Last time I posted was in 2008 and I was about to start my first job (I still have that job and the boss loves me.  I've had a number of raises too). At that time I was snowballing to recovery and only had a couple more hurdles to make.

If I may, I'd like to give an update on my life since then. I hope it inspires someone. I'm now writing a book which is actually written by many people about how they have overcome anxiety. If you have beaten any type of anxiety and want me to interview you (I'll just email some questions), let me know! 
This will probably be LONG, but I hope it is beneficial. This may be the most important thing you read all day! Lol.

I received social anxiety disorder when I was 5 years old. It just happened one day and was like that until I was 21. Eventually, I often couldn't leave my room, let alone the house. I couldn't hand in a resume, let alone get a job. I failed some of my school classes because I was too afraid to turn up. Telephones were the worse, it didn't matter if I was calling a stranger or someone I knew. ANYTHING that involved other people seeing or hearing me sent me into a panic. I couldn't go into the backyard, neighbours might see me. Couldn't go into the lounge room, cars driving past might see me. 

My life revolved around my social anxiety. I could not even imagine one day overcoming it, it seemed too severe and inbuilt. My life goal was to become a housewife, solely so that I would never have to get a job which meant facing people.

I would marginally improve on things like answering the telephone, in 5 year leaps. Until I realised... picture a fly at the window, using the last of its energy to try and break through the glass, dying as it does so. Meanwhile an open door is just metres away. If you're improving only fractionally and this slowly, stop doing the same thing over and over, DO SOMETHING ELSE.

Once I started doing something different, I overcame the majority of my social anxiety in a year, and the rest of it went away over the next several months. Yes, I do occasionally have a little relapse (nothing earth shattering) and I admit I still am a little nervous when making phone calls but I can still make them. But besides that, the social anxiety is GONE.

*HURDLES?*
Here's how it works: I saw the road to recovery as a racetrack with hurdles. Meanwhile, you have ropes attached to your arms and legs, the anxiety, pulling you, making it difficult to run. The first hurdle is MASSIVE. You can't see the end of the racetrack. You want to give up and hide before you even start. But once you get started, you find a way to climb over the hurdle, ropes tied to your limbs... you get over it and can see the rest of the track... THEN EVERYTHING SNOWBALLS.

After that first hurdle, you've already trained your mind slightly. You've done it once, and soon you find yourself just running down the track, jumping hurdle after hurdle, the ropes holding you becoming frayed.

At the end, you feel like you are so close, but there is one more big hurdle. Not as big as the first one mind. This is really how I visualised it in my head at the time. One more hurdle in the way. I climbed it, the ropes pulling and straining but terribly frayed. I could actually feel how close I was to social anxiety, it was this exciting build up of suspense. Until... finally... the ropes snapped. It was so intense I almost literally felt myself break away. I crossed the finish line. THIS WAS THE MOST AMAZING FEELING I'VE EVER HAD. The biggest smile on my face when I realised I WAS FREE. When I realised that it is possible to overcome, even for someone like me who never ever imagined I could ever be at this point.

Not only that, but the stuff I put my mind through on that road... people with anxiety are the most insightful people I've ever met. Especially those who have managed to overcome trials by thinking a certain way. It changes your life. Just the way I think now has made me a happy person. I can actually say I am very happy now.

SO, *HOW* DID I DO IT?
I will list the major things that got me here:

(Continued...)


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 3, 2008)

*DIAGNOSE IT*
I need to know what I have. I need to acknowledge it in order to plan out how to overcome it. I need to know the face of my enemy, if you will. If you are here, you probably already know you have social anxiety. You don't need a doctor to tell you, it's pretty obvious. However, you may find that a doctor's diagnosis has even more impact, makes it "official".

For the record, I decided I needed to see a doctor about it for about 4 years, but was way to frightened to make an appointment. My mum ended up making the appointment for me. This was the start of my recovery. Sometimes you need an outside push to get you going!

*TALK ABOUT IT*
Yup, let the whole world know. I found it important to get at least some of my friends and family to understand. You don't need to tell *everyone*, but talking to a few close people about it who won't judge you, just letting it all out. They may be going through some sort of anxiety themselves, it's quite common.

For me, getting my parents to understand was an important step. We were brought up in a church (read: cult) that believes that mental illness, etc doesn't exist. They just did not understand what I was going through and would often get angry when I couldn't do things because of fear. In high school I wrote a story about how it feels for me to walk from school to the bus stop every day. My teacher showed my parents and finally they began to acknowledge it.

Don't worry if you can't talk to people who are close to you, there are others to talk to. That's what this forum is for. Just let it out. Ramble like I am right now, haha. And guys, *acknowledge* those who are venting about it, they need it.

Having anxiety is not something to be ashamed about. Not everyone will understand it, especially if they've never had it themselves. But those who deal with anxiety are very strong people. I guarantee that.

A big, major step in me overcoming social anxiety was being able to talk to a therapist about it once a week. The CBT stuff she said, the breathing coping techniques, etc, honestly I didn't really find helpful at all. But being able to talk to her about everything and not be judged helped A LOT. It was 100% worth it just for that. When we were done I bought her a box of chocolates I was so grateful. XD

(Continued...)


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 3, 2008)

*TAKE ACTION*
I was forced to get a job somehow, I had no choice. But simply applying, getting a job, working, was so terrifying I felt like I was going to die. Don't just jump into it, unless you like the thought of breakdowns and causing yourself more stress and making your anxiety worse!

I found ways to get on with life but with 'no-pressure'. Enter things in a way that you less like you are being judged and need to impress. The task of finding a job was what made me snowball into recovery.
In Australia, we have Centrelink where you get paid fortnightly if you're not earning enough income. I had finished schooling which meant I was forced to look for a job. Centrelink pays people to apply for jobs and actively look for a job.
When I got diagnosed by a doctor and started therapy, she wrote a certificate saying I was unfit to be jobseeking. Through a simple process, this was acknowledged by Centrelink and they didn't force me to apply for jobs in order to get payment.

Instead they hooked me up with a special employment agency which would help me find a job when I was ready to. This was slowly pushing me, forcing me to take action. I had no choice. But at the same time, there was *no pressure* to actually get a job when I was not ready for one. Instead they helped me prepare and never forced me into anything.

I started doing a short course there on retail (yup, retail, a social phobic's nightmare). At the end of the course we had to do work experience at a retail place, however they were very understanding and very flexible to people's capabilities.
Now, I think this is important. I did work experience doing something I am passionate about... at a pet shop. Pets are my comfort zone and knowledge area and it made things slightly easier for me... compared to working at a shoe shop or something (I hate shoes! Lol).
What was also important was this was work experience, not a job. They did not expect me to be able to do things well, or even right. I had no expectations on me, no judging. However, I worked my *** off. I did my absolute best to impress them even though they didn't expect it.
At the end of the three weeks, I simply asked the owner what do they look for when hiring people (hinting I would eventually like to apply for a job), and he hired me. Two years later, I am still there.

That job has helped me a lot. Please note that all the talking to people and my therapist about social anxiety, all the preparation leading up to getting the job, got me to the stage that I was ready for it. I could not have just leaped into it.

I was still scared, going up to customers and asking how they were, etc. But every work day, it's repetitive, asking customers how they are, listening to them when they talk. Eventually just simply practising over and over got me use to strangers and talking to them. Same with answering the phone. A retail job seems terrifying, but it was my passion (pets) and now talking to strangers is second nature. 

I've never had a customer yell at me, just respect them and aim to make them leave the store happy and that's exactly what happens. I've had a couple of annoyed customers (at the shop, not at me), but I just refer them to the manager and don't have to deal with them.

(Continued...)


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 3, 2008)

*YOUR MIND*
Just to give you an idea... I was a born pessimist and introvert. I'm a Phlegmatic/Melancholy if that means anything to anyone. I am naturally sad and negative. Plus, I was born into an extreme church with very fast beliefs, controlling the way members think and act with EVERY aspect of their lives. My entire way of life was based on thinking a certain way, with no chance of changing my mind about my core being. But I still did it.

Because of everything I've been through (social anxiety and other things... I'll get to that) I have learnt the most amazing thing. How to free my mind, let go off my inner beliefs and what is black and white. When I learnt to this this, I became *happy*. I felt so free of stress.
Start thinking in shades of grey. Don't believe the first thing you hear, but acknowledge it. Know that it is okay for your thoughts and beliefs to change, it doesn't mean you were wrong, and by being free to this, you learn things and mold yourself into a better person. Things change. Welcome it.
I feel like my mind is going to explode with possibility, could turn any direction. I have my own opinions, some quite strong, but completely open to take in new information and mold accordingly, including a new direction. Nothing is neccasarily stupid, right or wrong, and anything that is could just be ignorance. No judging, but rather listening.

There are three main thought processes that were a *major* step in me overcoming social anxiety. I reminded myself of these over and over until I believed them:

*1. "I'm here to do a job, not impress anyone."*
Whether it is actually working (like when I did work experience), walking into a shop, making a phonecall, whatever. You are not there to wow the person, to be perfect and magical. You are there to do a job! Do it, and get out. XD

*2.* *"If I feel uncomfortable, it means I'm out of my comfort zone which means I'm getting better!"*
The whole point of all this is to slowly stretch out your comfort zone until you don't get extreme anxiety over everyday tasks. Now, don't go leaping out of your comfort zone, you'll have a panic attack. Put one foot out. Can you feel that anxiety? Embrace it. Just feel it. That means you are stretching your comfort zone! That anxiety will go away if you keep putting one foot out. That means you're getting better!

*3. "EVERYONE makes this mistake!"*
As I've said, I work in retail which means I talk to a lot of different people. They stumble over their words, ask odd things, pay the wrong amount, make mistakes, use the EFTPOS machine wrong, don't know the answers to simple questions, don't always hear what you say to them, etc. Every single day. Yep, everyone makes mistakes. Everyone knows what it's like. Trust me, they aren't judging you when you stumble over a word or stutter. They've already forgotten that you did it. They do it too afterall, all the time. Because they are human. And humans aren't perfect.

At first, to think in a different way, it takes effort. You have trained your subconscious for a long time (for me, it was since I was 5!) to believe a certain thing that may not even be true. BE PERSISTANT! Keep reminding yourself of what you should be thinking and be open to it. Trust me, your subconscious will eventually take over and you won't even have to think about it anymore. And it will change your life and rid you of social anxiety.

Other things that helped me think in certain ways was to read lots of self development books (such as How To Win Friends and Influence People).

Learning about the four temperaments (Sanguine, Melancholy, Choleric, Phlegmatic) also really helped me understand why people react the way they do. I now understand that some people are harsh in the way they talk because it's just how they are, it's nothing against you (I first learnt about the temperaments by reading Personality Plus).

I set life goals. I have dreams. Passions. Hobbies. All help.
I now have a form of transport, because I considered getting a license so I could ride a scooter. I decided "Just do it", and I'm so glad I did. When you are ready, start taking opportunities. Start living your life.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 3, 2008)

*SO WHAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE I LAST POSTED HERE?*
Not everything has been unicorns and flowers. It's funny... during the time I overcame social anxiety, I was actually in a really abusive relationship (emotionally and sexually). Don't ask me how I managed to overcome SA during this time.

A year ago, I finally managed to pull free of that relationship after 3 years. We were months off being in a forced marriage.
Yup... when my church found out about all the rape (sex before marriage) they kicked me out for fornication and ordered us to get married. Through this, I also lost ALL my friends and ALL my family (except for my parents and brothers). I had to start all over again this year making friends and I have met some lovely people (if you are wondering... I used Facebook. Facebook is an excellent no-pressure way to build relationships).

Since getting out of it, I am free for real. Free of anxiety, and free of controlling partners and churches. I now have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. I have never been this happy in my life. Because of all the mindset things I've gone through (that I explained above), it has totally changed my thinking and made me a happy person!

I do still get sad randomly and have flashbacks. I've just started therapy for post traumatic stress disorder. But I know after everything I've been through, I am 100% positive I will get through it. 

I know how anxiety works now. And I know what it is like to be out of it. Don't settle for less... life is so much better here on the other side. Remember that you are only here once... start doing what you want to do. Don't let anxiety or other people control your life. The people that really matter and care will be happy for you. And you will find new friends and family who will be happy and supportive of you. You CAN overcome it. And I can't stress enough how different life is once you do. I so strongly want each and every person here to overcome their fears that it's making me teary, lol!!

If you actually read all of that, wow. Haha. Thanks for reading my story.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 3, 2008)

Oh, in case people were wondering, no, I took no medication during this time.


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## AlekParker (Oct 31, 2006)

Sounds great. It seems like the CBT, even though u didn't believe it at the time kind of jump started you into better and better feelings. You also counter negative thoughts with your 3 'beliefs' that's great to hear! 

Changing your mind/thoughts/rationalizing then slowly doing behavior changes like small exposures ie retail seems to work! I'm currently on the same path, and you're inspiring. I'm proud of you!


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## Vip3r (Dec 7, 2010)

Thank you for sharing your story it is very inspirational.


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## Cheesecake (Feb 2, 2007)

I read it all. And it seems like you've gone through some tough moments, with the relationship and church thing(I don't know what kind of church would do that).

You gave some good advice. I'll keep it in mind.


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## SociallyBroken (Oct 3, 2010)

:yes This is really inspiring!


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## candy24 (Jan 3, 2011)

Thanks 4 posting.


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## Dan208 (Dec 22, 2010)

Very inspiring story.


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## ForeverInBloom (Oct 4, 2010)

Thank you for this. I've been struggling with anxiety every day now and I have hope now of overcoming it too.

Godspeed


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 3, 2008)

Thank you for the replies everyone, I'm very happy to hear you got something out of reading this. Just keep gradually stretching out your comfort zone, it really works. If you do this, it will get better, even if it seems hopeless now. I'm talking about overcoming it for good, not just coping methods.

As I said once you get over the first rough bit, the rest is a lot easier and you pretty much snowball into recovery.

Thanks for listening!


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## sherbert (Jun 24, 2005)

That was a really awesome post! Well thought out and it was very genuine. When they're close to publishing the book, get the mods to put a sticky up so everyone can take a look. I think this a very important thing.

Something that I have often said on here- and I wholeheartedly believe; it's a maintenance thing. Some people struggle with weight with others struggle with anxiety/depression. There are circumstances and predispositions with both, but the key is to work really hard at it, learn as much as possible and find out WHY you are struggling. The process that you describe is the cornerstone for recovery, it's not new. It isn't an easy path though and that's where many people are hung up at. 

I like CBT, but I believe in therapy. As much as I love my brother and parents, I simply cannot tell them everything. It doesn't matter what you tell a therapist, it could be the raunchiest, kinkiest story- as long as no one is in potential danger; they are bound by law not to disclose it. I have had many therapists that have coaxed me into actually speaking. For many reasons, I had learned not to speak- to bottle emotions. As you have said, the more that you face the problem without shame, the better off you are. 

I do have an inquiry for you though. My biggest "hurdle" is romantically. It seems like the longer that I go without dating, the more difficult and distant it has become. I've come up with a dozen excuses as to why I shouldn't pursue women (some valid, many not). I see it as exposing my issues to someone else. Although I have a few close friends that I have 'come out' to, being rejected by a partner, I don't want that. Tell me your thoughts guru!


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## Mr. SandMan (Aug 24, 2007)

BigNate knows of too many people in "RL" that have anxiety disorders to believe that a mental disoder can "go away."

*thumb up*


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## That guy over there (Jan 18, 2011)

A very inspiring story, I hope someday that I will be able to snap the ropes but that seems so far away and alien at the moment.


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## confidencelost (Sep 3, 2010)

*Thank you* for sharing your story! It's really inspiring to hear from someone who has seen it all the way through to the other side. Personally, it's good to know that what I'm doing to beat it tallies with your experience. It gives me an extra surge of confidence to know that the end result might actually be what I hope. 

This thread should be a sticky for being so good.


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## joe11 (Jan 22, 2011)

As everyone said, that is very inspiring. Congratulations on overcoming it. 

I like the way you talk about how you overcame it too with the three thoughts.

Hopefully it will inspire me, as I'm just starting out.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 3, 2008)

sherbert said:


> Something that I have often said on here- and I wholeheartedly believe; it's a maintenance thing. Some people struggle with weight with others struggle with anxiety/depression. There are circumstances and predispositions with both, but the key is to work really hard at it, learn as much as possible and find out WHY you are struggling. The process that you describe is the cornerstone for recovery, it's not new. It isn't an easy path though and that's where many people are hung up at.
> 
> I like CBT, but I believe in therapy. As much as I love my brother and parents, I simply cannot tell them everything. It doesn't matter what you tell a therapist, it could be the raunchiest, kinkiest story- as long as no one is in potential danger; they are bound by law not to disclose it. I have had many therapists that have coaxed me into actually speaking. For many reasons, I had learned not to speak- to bottle emotions. As you have said, the more that you face the problem without shame, the better off you are.


Hey Sherbert, good insight and I agree with everything you said. It is indeed a maintanence thing. The great thing is, eventually that maintanence becomes routine and you don't really have to think about it anymore, you go through the motions and thought processes automatically.

Maybe I am lucky that I've never really had a problem talking about social anxiety, which has really helped me.

I do understand that it is very difficult for people to express it to others though. With my post traumatic stress, I have been finding it very difficult to say out loud to my parents what happened to me. At first when I opened my mouth, no words would come out, it was too terrifying to speak. I've started to be able to talk about it now though, although it's somehow most difficult to say things to my parents and I can't talk about it at all to my brothers.



sherbert said:


> I do have an inquiry for you though. My biggest "hurdle" is romantically. It seems like the longer that I go without dating, the more difficult and distant it has become. I've come up with a dozen excuses as to why I shouldn't pursue women (some valid, many not). I see it as exposing my issues to someone else. Although I have a few close friends that I have 'come out' to, being rejected by a partner, I don't want that. Tell me your thoughts guru!


When I got out of my abusive relationship, a friend leant me some dating self-help books and one thing in particular stuck with me. It was the attitude in finding a partner. What I learnt was it is happier to be single than to be in a relationship and miserable. Come to terms with and learn how to enjoy being single and not 'desperate'. While it would be nice to be in a relationship, don't be with the wrong person just for the sake of being in one, it will destroy your life. Be your own person, have life goals, interests... then know what you want in a partner and wait for the right person to come along (the right person might not be 100% what you are looking for, but you may find 80% to be just as perfect).

I learnt some harsh lessons from my ex. It has taught me not to 'put up' with people who don't treat you properly. I will never, ever let myself be in that situation ever again. If you're not happy, then you are not the right people for each other. Remember, you only live once, don't waste it with someone who makes you feel sad and inadequate. This includes someone who isn't supportive of your anxiety.

The right partner will like you for who you are and won't want you to change the core person that you are. They will not reject you for having social anxiety or for talking about it, they will be understanding and probably want to help in somehow to see you recover. Someone who looks down on you for having it, etc, is not compatible with you anyway. Don't be afraid to move on, remember you're better off being single than being with the wrong person. Keep going until you find the right one. 

As for the actual finding someone part, be active in it, whatever method you want to use for connecting with people and finding a partner (I ended up in my current relationship by talking to him on Facebook and things went from there... I'm a big fan of building up friendships through Facebook  ).

I hope that helps. Just my personal view on things from my experiences.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 3, 2008)

bignate said:


> BigNate knows of too many people in "RL" that have anxiety disorders to believe that a mental disoder can "go away."
> 
> *thumb up*


Hey BigNate, sorry if I misinterpret what you said, I may have read it wrong. This is my view on this though...

While I've been interviewing people for this book I'm compiling, I've spoken to a few people who still have anxiety but have come a long way in learning to live with it. I've noticed their attitude to anxiety is a bit different to those who have overcome it. 

They believe that anxiety can't 'go away', that it will always be there in some form and you have to always actively maintain it. They have learnt to accept it and have coping techniques in order to live with it. To them, this is their version of overcoming it. I did notice a pattern in this thinking from the same type of people.

Now, I'm certainly not saying that's incorrect. If they have come to a point where they've found a way to live life and still have anxiety, then that is a marvoulous effort and I wish them all the best. 

I know I am only one person, but I have found my personal experience (plus the experiences from people I've interviewed) to not really fall into their beliefs. I have been told by them that anxiety doesn't go away... but mine doesn't control my life anymore. I just don't feel anxious about things that previously had me stressing and panicking for months. I do not feel I have to actively maintain it... I think my subconscious has taken over with my new beliefs and does all the work in the background. That being said, I think if I stopped having *any* social contact with people for a while, there's a very good chance it will come back.

As I said, I do have the occasional relapse, however nothing major. And I'm still nervous making phone calls (but can still make them without crying about it for hours before hand). In those two areas, I do feel like I'm still improving and improving. And they certainly don't run my life anymore.

A few years ago, when I was sitting in my room too afraid to leave it, I could not even fathom *not* feeling like this anymore. *No one* could have convinced me otherwise, that someday I wouldn't have social anxiety. It didn't go away in an instant... I got it when I was 5 and overcame it at 21 (the last year and a bit of that was the significant recovery). I'm now 23 years old.

This is simply my opinion on the matter, but to be honest I do also agree with what you have said!


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## VC132 (Sep 1, 2010)

When I first clicked this thread my first thoughts were, "Nope, I don't believe it," and "No friggin way, I'm jealous."

After I read it all, I believe you 100% and the way you did it made sense too. Your story helps me believe I am going somewhat in the right direction. The thought of being in the 'maintaining stages' of my Social Anxiety gets me very excited.

I am thankful you posted this WhiteRaven, I am going to refer back here often!


EDIT: like others have said, i think this thread should be a sticky


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## eek a mouse (Apr 14, 2010)

Id just like to say that I believe you can get 100% rid of a mental "illness". Of course if there is something physically different with your brain you wont be able to snap out of it. 

But in my case I never had social anxiety until 23-24 and now 4 years later I am a lot better but not 100% cured but I see no reason why I couldnt go back to how I used to be. 

I also think being cured doesnt mean somebody who is naturally introverted will suddenly become the life of the party. For me, being cured means that anxiety doesnt stop you from doing anything you would like, especially normal mundane things. We all know that everybody has anxiety.....we just take it more seriously.


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## VC132 (Sep 1, 2010)

i'm sort of surprised this thread isn't getting bumped hourly. there's really valuable information in here.

before you got a job in the first post, was there something that kind of compelled you to change? like say, if my parents kicked me out the house(or i moved out) or demanded I go to school and failed(which I did) or if my family couldn't afford to live if I didn't work, overcoming SA would instantly become priority for me. was it like that for u?


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## sherbert (Jun 24, 2005)

*some more thoughts... as if you wanted them *

Ravin- thanks for the relationship advice! It has confirmed what others have suggested, that I should concentrate on goals instead of my desires. Still that's not always an easy task!



eek a mouse said:


> Id just like to say that I believe you can get 100% rid of a mental "illness". Of course if there is something physically different with your brain you wont be able to snap out of it.
> 
> But in my case I never had social anxiety until 23-24 and now 4 years later I am a lot better but not 100% cured but I see no reason why I couldnt go back to how I used to be.
> 
> I also think being cured doesnt mean somebody who is naturally introverted will suddenly become the life of the party. For me, being cured means that anxiety doesnt stop you from doing anything you would like, especially normal mundane things. We all know that everybody has anxiety.....we just take it more seriously.


Eek- for a person that has experienced a 'normal' state of living prior to its onset, I will say maybe a person can be 100% free from anxiety. For those (such as myself) who have experienced it at such an early age, I am not so certain. I missed a lot of key experiences as a child and teen; things I can't get back. So while I may not experience anxiety to a high degree there are some things that have left me a bit quirky. Also since there is not point of reference as to what normal should be, you are often questioning what is appropriate in terms of acceptable anxiety. And (out of curiosity) what's with the 'illness' quotations? Mental struggles are not like other illnesses, but I think something that will elicit sympathy is OK for now.


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## kikiwi (Aug 4, 2010)

Thank you so much for posting this, it was very inspirational. Too tell you the truth, before i read this i was feeling as though i was at a dead end, right now i do feel a little lighter. Being free is possible. Again ,thanks for sharing.


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## lionlioncatcat (Dec 29, 2010)

A pretty amazing story, there and some really good advice. made me realize a few things about myself and the sa. Thanks


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## equiiaddict (Jun 27, 2006)

You gave awesome advice. Really inspiring. I struggle with some of the things you mentioned, always worrying about screwing up in front of other people and looking stupid, embarrassing myself (especially in a job setting), etc and what you said really made me think & realize that it doesn't matter what they think because the true friends in your life won't judge you based on a few dumb mistakes.  Thank you for sharing your story, and congrats on overcoming your anxiety! I only hope I can do the same.


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## Onkaparinga (Aug 1, 2010)

Congratulations on not missing out on much of life despite your early start with social anxiety.


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## Hero (Feb 14, 2010)

I have also been free of social anxiety for about a year now. And I have it pretty bad too , I would go from anxiety to asthma to panic attack and all the way to seizures a couple times.

Everyone has social anxiety just not at our level where its a brick wall causing problems. Therapy and drugs didnt help me much. But I think if it affects u on a physical level alot like heartrate, breathing etc then drugs like xanax should be pretty helpful. Once ur in control of the physical you can think more mentally rational. 

Good job bro gratz .


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## Black_Widow (May 23, 2008)

Hey there WhiteRaven 

Wow! Sure sounds to me like you've achieved a heck of a lot! Really pleased that you were able to make such fantastic progess. And wishing you the best of luck with the treatment for PTSD too. Hope it all goes well.

Many thanks from me too for sharing your story. I'm another who will definitely be using that as inspiration!

Congrats and best wishes for the future!


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

I love what you've posted, OP. one of the most useful postings I've seen. I wish you continued success and all the best that life has to offer. I am positive about being rid of anxiety 100% as well. I believe it is possible. Or at the very least, to experience no more anxiety than is reasonable in any given situation. 

I'll never walk confidently up to a podium, for example, and give a rousing acceptance speech without feeling nervous beforehand, but then that would be the case for most people. But none of the hand-wringing and self flagellation before or after. that is my goal, in all endeavours.


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## changeme77 (Feb 22, 2013)

WhiteRaven said:


> Oh, in case people were wondering, no, I took no medication during this time.


Well played. There seems to be such a reliance on medication on this forum (I am fairly new here so may be that's actually not the case but it seems like it). It doesn't surprise me though, visit any psychiatrist and there only too quick to subscribe you on some drug that will likely do nothing for you or actually make things worse.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 3, 2008)

changeme77 said:


> Well played. There seems to be such a reliance on medication on this forum (I am fairly new here so may be that's actually not the case but it seems like it). It doesn't surprise me though, visit any psychiatrist and there only too quick to subscribe you on some drug that will likely do nothing for you or actually make things worse.


Thanks! I think it's very much an individual thing, and some people do benefit from medication to give them that initial boost, a spark of courage maybe. But, medication isn't going to take anxiety away. That part is up to you.

I chose not to take any medication and am personally glad that I didn't. It is certainly possible to manage and overcome anxiety without meds.


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## early90sborn (Mar 10, 2013)

Thanks for the Post, I love reading success stories like these, it gives me hope/inspiration...

Like the idea of living by ''mantra's''


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## humanphobic (Jan 27, 2013)

You are a boss. :clap Very inspirational!


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## squirrelbro (Mar 10, 2013)

Awesome, I only joined this forum b/c i was bored mostly and lonely as hell in my current living situation. But going through what I currently am has basically shocked any traces of social anxiety I may have had right out of me. That is the last few jobs I've had, getting a dwi and being put in a drug court, going to groups and being mandated to inpatient, a halfway house, and finally supportive living where I am living now in a regular size house with 8 people on one side, 7 on the other. 

LOL going through all this has forced me out of whatever shell I was trying to hide in and now I can't wait to get out work, meet DECENT people, and make friends when I return to the University in the Fall. Your post here is the only thing I'm going to take away from this site. Thanks for the valuable insight and info and CONGRATS!


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## squirrelbro (Mar 10, 2013)

Damn SAS for having no edit feature, I hate rereading my posts to find missing words and typos! I also was sanctioned to jail a couple times and there is no room for SA in jail if you want to maintain your sanity.

Anyways thanks again for an inspiring post.


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## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

Thank you so much.. this gives me hope


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## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

squirrelbro said:


> Awesome, I only joined this forum b/c i was bored mostly and lonely as hell in my current living situation. But going through what I currently am has basically shocked any traces of social anxiety I may have had right out of me. That is the last few jobs I've had, getting a dwi and being put in a drug court, going to groups and being mandated to inpatient, a halfway house, and finally supportive living where I am living now in a regular size house with 8 people on one side, 7 on the other.
> 
> LOL going through all this has forced me out of whatever shell I was trying to hide in and now I can't wait to get out work, meet DECENT people, and make friends when I return to the University in the Fall. Your post here is the only thing I'm going to take away from this site. Thanks for the valuable insight and info and CONGRATS!


Lucky you, what you went through served as a favor to you ^^ ... b/c it *forces* you out so you don't have to hide.... 
but those that aren't in that situation kinda cower down to their fear and let it control them (like I have lol)

but congratz to getting better b/c SA is a life stealerlol..and Im w/ u on just taking this w/ you from this site... it can be pretty negative... it amazes me how many are in the frustration forum , around 1,000 lol and here maybe 30 ... tbh i think once i overcome my SA I probably wont be around her much... maybe to help idk


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## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

No w that I read almost everything... Im blown away..and you did it w/o medication..amazing... theres is tremendous hope for me ^^ 

but im sorry that you had a horrible experience with the church... not all are like that..im just sorry you got lumped in the wrong kind : / 

but your storry is amazing


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## Moment of Clarity (Nov 3, 2011)

Great post! Game me some ideas to consider and implement.


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## cat001 (Nov 1, 2010)

I can say a thousand times over that you're absolutely accurate in what you say as I've noticed the same thing with my anxiety. Once I started to challenge it at first it was tough but then you just seem to snowball into recovery! I spoke to no-one, I never answered the phone, never went outside, had depression etc but all it took was a small push from my dyslexia supporter at uni, she got me an appointment with the uni counsellor and from there it was up and up. I started talking, I started challenging myself, I got motivated with setting tasks for myself and kept reminding myself that if I was uncomfortable with a task than that was the one I was going to challenge myself on! 

Now my challenges aren't answering the phone anymore, they're organising wedding photography!!! The challenge is no longer going into an unfamiliar shop but travelling to other countries and strange distant places by myself. That sort of change happened in the space of about 2 years, from feeling like I wasn't ever going to improve to that. So I can say you've absolutely hit the nail on the head!


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## retepe94 (Aug 15, 2012)

Very inspirational.
I feel optimistic but clueless on how to overcome SA at the moment but you have given me extra hope.


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