# Single and looking



## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

Do you feel the more time that you spend without a significant other, the more or less picky you become about who you want?


----------



## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

no but maybe i should search for these types of women then


----------



## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

I was never very picky to begin with, but I do think that my standards have gotten progressively lower and lower with time. All I would like is someone who doesn't have offensive body odor, doesn't weigh 900 pounds, and doesn't annoy me. The only problem is that the majority of people I meet in life annoy me in some way, so I'm basically just going to make love to inflatable dolls deep into my adulthood.


----------



## gwen (Feb 16, 2007)

Drella said:


> so I'm basically just going to make love to inflatable dolls deep into my adulthood.


How are you still single? :stu


----------



## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

gwen said:


> Drella said:
> 
> 
> > so I'm basically just going to make love to inflatable dolls deep into my adulthood.
> ...


I was actually going to ask how she even does that.


----------



## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

I can make a crude portrait using Paint Shop if you would like.


----------



## gwen (Feb 16, 2007)

:yes


----------



## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

Well, does the doll have a protrusion?


----------



## SilentProphet (Jun 1, 2007)

Opposite for me. I've become more picky now that i'm older and never had one, cause i want her to be special and not just some random girl i would have a fling with. Even so i'm still way to shy around females :stu


----------



## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

On topic, I kind of have a slight prediction of what my long-term g/f would be like. I just don't think that many girls would be into me for different reasons. It wouldn't have to be someone with SA, but generally not someone really outgoing and with a large circle of friends that has to go to bars all of the time.


----------



## opivy22 (Mar 1, 2005)

I used to be really picky, but then again I was also desperate at that time. I'm doing a million times better with women than a few years ago and it seems the more people you go out with (even if it ends on the first or second date) the less you look for the perfect person because that person honestly doesn't exist. Instead, you'll find that everyone has something about them you definitely will not like, but the real task at hand is figuring out what you can live with. On top of that, you also find that people have sides to their personalities you would never expect, and sometimes this is a good thing. I guess the point here is that perfect princess is really a very different person than her public personal gives off.


----------



## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

a


----------



## Soul666 (Oct 29, 2006)

I still very picky...


----------



## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Wasn't picky before, but after being hit with the loser train, the next time I seriously consider dating, I will have higher standards. 

Let me elaborate: He doesn't have to be the best looking guy (not that I was dating the best looking guys to begin with), but I'm not taking anyone's b.s. The moment I see he's not treating me the way I deserve to be treated, I'm not wasting anymore of my time.


----------



## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

Damn straight


----------



## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

Strange Religion said:


> Wasn't picky before, but after being hit with the loser train, the next time I seriously consider dating, I will have higher standards.
> 
> Let me elaborate: He doesn't have to be the best looking guy (not that I was dating the best looking guys to begin with), but I'm not taking anyone's b.s. The moment I see he's not treating me the way I deserve to be treated, I'm not wasting anymore of my time.


Yeeeeeeeeah! Go girl power! Seriously, tho, you rock.



njodis said:


> Less picky? I'm not really sure I'd put it that way. I've definitely become more accepting of other people's flaws than I used to be 6-7 years ago.


siiiiigh, I wish more ppl had this attitude. Some of the attributes for which ppl write others off are very neither here-nor-there...irrrelevant. And I'm talking about ppl on this board! Like not dating a girl b/c she's the party-type, or because you want the first girl you date to be super special? Irrelevant. Everyone is special, everyone has a soul worth knowing, you just have to give them a chance. I'm a party girl, but I also have my insightful side. How many would write me off as a ditz, a **** before knowing me? Before knowing my sweet, giving nature?


----------



## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

I would say I am still looking for the same type of girl. I might be able to understand and deal with them better now, but the basic things I am looking for haven't changed.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I thought someone was going to have posted this joke. (I can't seem to find it, but I'll paraphrase it)

When women are teenagers, they want a guy that is popular, athletic and good looking.

When women are in their 20s, they want a guy that is wealthy to buy them nice things and take them places.

When women are in their 30s, they want a guy that is sensitive and caring.

When women are in their 40s, they want a guy that is a good father and provider.

......

When women are in their 70s, they want a guy that has a pulse.


----------



## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

NightinGale said:


> Strange Religion said:
> 
> 
> > Wasn't picky before, but after being hit with the loser train, the next time I seriously consider dating, I will have higher standards.
> ...


So do you! I've learned my lesson from experience.

...and I agree with your post. Any guy who is so judgemental can **** off.


----------



## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

amen


----------



## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

:kiss Just showin' you some lurve.

Night.


----------



## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

not really picky, just indifferent.


----------



## Mayflower 2000 (Nov 11, 2003)

NightinGale said:


> siiiiigh, I wish more ppl had this attitude. Some of the attributes for which ppl write others off are very neither here-nor-there...irrrelevant. And I'm talking about ppl on this board! Like not dating a girl b/c she's the party-type, or because you want the first girl you date to be super special? Irrelevant. Everyone is special, everyone has a soul worth knowing, you just have to give them a chance. I'm a party girl, but I also have my insightful side. How many would write me off as a ditz, a **** before knowing me? Before knowing my sweet, giving nature?


Yeah as more time as past since my last relationship I think I'm just more accepting. Not in the way of "putting up with more pain than before" but rather less off the less-significant details bother me. It's fairly near a point you just made, in writing people off too quick --- there just aren't many exact attributes I can say to exclude certain people. Like I can't put may rules that say "she has to be like this or that". Some of the things that are more noticable at first are things that don't necessarily tell much detail about how the person is in their personal life. It's just some fundamentals that are important, and if the fundamentals are there, and I mesh well with them, then it's all good. I don't even know what attracts me anymore, really. It's too complex, I just catch on to specific personalities I guess. I mostly just know what turns me off.



Strange Religion said:


> Let me elaborate: He doesn't have to be the best looking guy (not that I was dating the best looking guys to begin with), but I'm not taking anyone's b.s. The moment I see he's not treating me the way I deserve to be treated, I'm not wasting anymore of my time.


RESPECT. It's so important in all human interaction. In a relationship/friendship, if someone without justification shows much disrespect, then I think that they lose their credibility and as such shouldn't be treated with respect or credibility (unless things get patched up appropriately, of course). It's so fundamental in a relationship, and when it's there it serves as a strong basis for many things.


----------



## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

BeNice said:


> Well, does the doll have a protrusion?


This is off topic, but I would just like to make one clarification for everyone here.. I don't actually have or use blow-up dolls. I joke about it so often that I'm starting to believe that people may actually think I do. So... I don't, and I'm not really locked in Kevin Spacey's basement. Just wanted to throw that out there. I'm weird.


----------



## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

I know you didn't... 

Guess I took it too far.


----------



## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

No, actually I took it too far. My post was just a general clarification. I don't know why I quoted you and not myself; that's what I should have done, but I didn't for whatever reason. I'm starting to believe that some of the people here think I'm some weirdo, so I just wanted to let them know that I am actually kidding. Anyway, carry on, thread.


----------



## Volume (Apr 8, 2007)

*Re: re: Single and looking*



SilentProphet said:


> Opposite for me. I've become more picky now that i'm older and never had one, cause i want her to be special and not just some random girl i would have a fling with.


What he said. I have much clearer ideas of what I want and don't want in a partner now than I did in my younger years.


----------



## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

One universal rule of dating seems to be that, as you get older, you become less and less picky. Of course, you also realize that life isn't full of cookie and ice cream and fun and games until you die. Part of growing up is learning to accept the flaws and short-comings of both yourself and others.


----------



## Retreat (Jun 20, 2007)

I think that as I grow older and become more self-aware, I do tend to narrow my choices to partners who share my interests and beliefs. I don't think that my selection is based on the length of time being single, though. It's more a result of maturity and understanding and accepting who I am as a person.


----------



## gwen (Feb 16, 2007)

I don't know, I've never been in a relationship. All I know is, I've been alone this long and I'm not going to be with someone, just to be with someone. 
I rather be by myself.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

I think I'm becoming less picky and more understanding. It's hard to find a person who feels the same way about you, and when you do, maybe we should let some of the small stuff slide. Some things are dealbreakers of course, but I think I have few of those.

Interesting topic, Libby.


----------



## Nae (Nov 10, 2003)

Drella said:


> No, actually I took it too far. My post was just a general clarification. I don't know why I quoted you and not myself; that's what I should have done, but I didn't for whatever reason. I'm starting to believe that some of the people here think I'm some weirdo, so I just wanted to let them know that I am actually kidding. Anyway, carry on, thread.


You aren't a weirdo, you have an offbeat sense of humor and a penchant for creativity. Don't look down upon yourself for that.


----------



## Kardax (Dec 29, 2004)

I'm single because my personality is incompatible with everyone on the planet. Pickyness (at least on my part) never comes into play. :stu

In theory, though, if I did meet someone who could put up with my odd blend of pessimism, optimism, and ADD, I would say that my idea of the perfect SO has blurred over the years :yes

-Ryan


----------



## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

Personally, I don't know how to meet people. Unless someone knows me, I come off nonsensically eccentric and/or extremely neurotic. Then there's the part about maintaining conversations. Plus it would help if I wasn't always carrying around the handcuffs and rope. They don't understand that these items are for me, not she. I have yet to meet that closet dominatrix. What's the topic of this thread again?


----------



## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

*Re: re: Single and looking*



Nae said:


> Drella said:
> 
> 
> > No, actually I took it too far. My post was just a general clarification. I don't know why I quoted you and not myself; that's what I should have done, but I didn't for whatever reason. I'm starting to believe that some of the people here think I'm some weirdo, so I just wanted to let them know that I am actually kidding. Anyway, carry on, thread.
> ...


 :agree


----------



## Disintegrate (Jun 28, 2006)

*Re: re: Single and looking*



leppardess said:


> Nae said:
> 
> 
> > Drella said:
> ...


 :agree


----------



## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

:ditto


----------



## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

LostInReverie said:


> Do you feel the more time that you spend without a significant other, the more or less picky you become about who you want?


Even though I've had my share of SOs in the past, I find that I'm a lot more picky about who I'm with now.

I've had some pretty bad experiences by taking on whoever would have me and not being a little more choosy as to who I was trusting my mind and body with. I can't say that I have more self respect than I had when I was younger but I know better now what I can tolerate and what I can't.


----------



## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

*Re: re: Single and looking*



Disintegrate said:


> leppardess said:
> 
> 
> > Nae said:
> ...


 :agree


----------



## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

Andrew, stop posting compliments and agreements under your many different monikers!

Have a nice day,
Jealot


----------



## HighAnxiety (Jul 5, 2007)

More picky because I have been involved with too many women with baggage. Since I started exercising regular 2 1/2 years ago I expect my partner to be fit.


----------



## silverwave (Sep 11, 2010)

I've been super picky all my life but lately the expectations are lowering. I guess it's true we change over time.


----------



## watashi (Feb 6, 2008)

Yes I have become less picky over years of loneliness. When I was younger I wanted to date someone with similar music taste and other things, but now I find it doesn't matter that much to me anymore. Getting along well and having chemistry is more important. When you're young you're overly idealistic (I blame romance movies and books for that), you expect relationships in real life to be some perfect fairy tale. Then you find they aren't, everything's much more mundane and people have flaws and you have to accept them the way they are.


----------



## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

A necromancing I see.

I think I've become less picky, but for unrelated reasons. It's just that as I've managed to get to know a few more people I've realized that the number of bullet pointed interests I have in common with someone doesn't predict how well I get along with them the way I used to think it did. I used to think a romantic interest or even friends would have to meet specific criteria to be compatible, whereas now I'd tend to ignore criteria and just go by feel, if I were in that situation. It's not that I've lowered my standards any though, just realized I was measuring them wrong.


----------



## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

Retreat said:


> I think that as I grow older and become more self-aware, I do tend to narrow my choices to partners who share my interests and beliefs. I don't think that my selection is based on the length of time being single, though. It's more a result of maturity and understanding and accepting who I am as a person.


I agree


----------



## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

I find that the single life fosters apathy and cynicism.


----------



## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

Looks wise? Less picky...

How you treat me? - More picky...

Basically I feel like the longer I am single, the more I know I can look after myself, the more that I feel like a partner would have to be.... a partner. And not drag me down or treat me badly. I've gone this long alone if it has to continue it does..


----------



## AlchemyFire (Mar 4, 2013)

No, I'm probably the pickiest person you'll ever meet, and I doubt it will ever change.


----------



## tony420 (Jul 27, 2013)

m/20 single canadian!


----------



## Supalady05 (Nov 11, 2005)

awkwardsilent said:


> Looks wise? Less picky...
> 
> How you treat me? - More picky...
> 
> Basically I feel like the longer I am single, the more I know I can look after myself, the more that I feel like a partner would have to be.... a partner. And not drag me down or treat me badly. I've gone this long alone if it has to continue it does..


Yea, I feel the same... I don't care much for looks as much, but you have to treat me well. I'll add on to say that there must be a spark. I know it sounds silly but a guy can have nearly all the traits I would want, but if there's no chemistry, then we might as well just be friends. Lol. I'm not expecting perfection but there have to be that special something about the guy...


----------



## tony420 (Jul 27, 2013)

ive never really turned a girl down

i wouldn't want it done to me and sometimes i feel the need to please someone else if it makes them happy


----------



## goawaystupidanxiety88 (Aug 4, 2013)

I'm very picky but it wasn't always that way. My ex gf basically set the bar so high, that I think I'm a have to travel the world to find someone to fit my standards.


----------



## mzmz (Feb 26, 2012)

*women are less looks orintated anyway*



Razorblade Kiss said:


> Wasn't picky before, but after being hit with the loser train, the next time I seriously consider dating, I will have higher standards.
> 
> Let me elaborate: He doesn't have to be the best looking guy (not that I was dating the best looking guys to begin with), but I'm not taking anyone's b.s. The moment I see he's not treating me the way I deserve to be treated, I'm not wasting anymore of my time.


^this

Also, I tend to have a lot of anxiety on dates. I recently had sex with a male I really liked. Then he pulled the atypical vanishing act so I think until I really need sex again I wont bother. So once a year maybe i'll "mate"

I just cant anymore, men are too crass.


----------



## MCHB (Jan 1, 2013)

If I can add anything to this thread; I have a better idea of what I'd be looking for in a signifigant other now than I did several years ago. 

Three of the biggest things I think are mutual respect, lifestyle and having similar hobbies/interests.


----------



## Kalliber (Aug 18, 2012)

I want someone else differently >_>
<_<


----------



## Valtron (Jul 6, 2013)

I don't know. I want to say I'm not picky, but if someone asked me out and I wasn't really attracted to them, I'm not sure what I'd do. I fear I'm not assertive or brave enough to turn them down (sometimes I'm too nice). But I don't want to dive into something I'm not interested in. That's a disaster waiting to happen.

But then if a really attractive person asked me out, I think I'd be too chickensh*t to go through with it. :no


----------



## hypestyle (Nov 12, 2003)

depending on how you feel "picky" is defined. I know I'm becoming more aggravated about not having any intimate partners. I'm informed enough to not be reckless but i'm frustrated at not being able to simply change my circumstances. I go out to various public events, but it seems like I don't see any 'obvious' single women, they're paired up with men, or there's 2 or more female buddies, and I have no wingman or vice versa. No one ever approaches me.


----------



## stellarfate (Aug 26, 2013)

It's not so much that I've gotten less picky as it is that my priorities have changed. She could weigh 956 pounds with a unibrow, a full beard and back hair, but if I love the person she is, I'll tell my hormones to shut up and I'll date her anyway. Likewise, she could look like Scarlett Johansson, but if she's a b****, I won't give her the privilege of my time and energy.


----------

