# Depression has changed my personality



## clouddead (Oct 24, 2009)

I just noticed something. Suffering from depression for about 4 years now has really started to affect my personality as of late. I used to be the type of person who wanted to be friends or at least be in good terms with everybody. Now I don't care for that and I actually realize all these people I once wanted to be friends with, suck. I consider them ignorant. I consider them anything that makes me feel superior to them.

I used to try to avoid hurting people's feelings and I never tried to make friends & acquaintances feel bad about themselves. Now I sometimes see myself trying to make them feel bad and don't care if I end up hurting them. It actually makes me feel better if I do.

Don't get me wrong though, there's still a few people I truly care about and I do show my careness to them and don't act like what I just described. It's just with the general masses is that I act like this.

Anyone know why? Anybody else experienced something similar to this?


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

I've had depression for so long that it _is_ my personality. I feel like if I suddenly became happy, I wouldn't know who I am anymore.


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## illlaymedown (Oct 6, 2009)

That's what depression does, that's why it's such a big problem to the people experiencing it and the people they come in contact with :yes
You know the old saying "Misery loves company"...kinda fits with depression...you lose interest and gradually lose caring as well...sometimes I've felt so numb inside I couldn't cry over things that should've made me. One time my cousin got in a car accident and I was so depressed I could barely show how concerned I was and she almost died....made me feel so guilty for so long, but I know that wasn't really me. In my case, I've felt so bad inside for so long, it's just gotten numb. That's what happens when you consistently feel pain over a long period of time. I try to force myself to do things that I don't want to because of depression though like simply taking a shower. It helps a little.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

shadowmask said:


> I've had depression for so long that it _is_ my personality. I feel like if I suddenly became happy, I wouldn't know who I am anymore.


I feel the same, I've truly forgotten how to be a happy person


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## Prakas (Aug 26, 2009)

I don't remember what its like to be happy


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## Good Humperdink (Nov 1, 2011)

I feel the exact same way. I used to have a lot of friends and everyone liked me. 
Now people can't stand me. They find me arrogant and annoying. I don't have much contact with people anymore.


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## Knowbody (Jul 5, 2011)

shadowmask said:


> I've had depression for so long that it _is_ my personality. I feel like if I suddenly became happy, I wouldn't know who I am anymore.


this.

I don't feel comfortable unless I'm miserable


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## WhatWentWrong (Oct 25, 2010)

This is how I feel as well  I had some friends round tonight, had a couple of spliffs to ease the tension and when I got tired I basically opened the door and said "I have to sleep" (Kicked them out) :| As they were leaving I simply didn't care at all. I'm an anti-social dick!


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## Joe (May 18, 2010)

Along with anxiety it might of made trust issues, if I meet anyone new I usually assume we aren't going to get along and don't bother.

I'm not sure what my true irl personality is any more as I can't act normal around anyone nor display emotions when they talk to me :rain, I rarely talk about my actual interests offline. Being constantly sad and nervous most school days over time has made this worsen to all areas of my life.


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