# If my thesis had a face I would punch it.



## Cristana (Jul 21, 2010)

Anyone who is writing a thesis, or knows someone who has, knows it sucks a lot, and is as painful as getting 40 root canals as the same time. Scratch that, I'd rather have the root canals. I'm doing my Masters thesis right now for Science..specifically Earth Science, yippie. So, I have my draft due next month, in late August, I do have quite a bit done so far...but here's the thing. My topic has SUCH little information on it, it is almost impossible to find information on, therefore, my entire thesis is basically hypothetical with no actual concrete evidence. Here is the kicker, my supervisor knows this, and he knows how much this is making me into a ball of craziness. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I had to get that out. So basically I have no proof mathematically, it's all a visual analysis and such....it is horrifying. Oh good god, help. I never want to read another academic journal again. Ever. Excuse me while I go cry in a corner, or break something....:um


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## Whitney (Oct 2, 2008)

yessssssss i know exactly how you feel. I actually just had a meeting this morning with my advisor and my counselor to explain to my advisor why I'm making so little progress (SA reasons). Hopefully I'll get back on track soon but it suuuuuucks.....


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## Cristana (Jul 21, 2010)

oh my god..IT'S HORRIFYING!!!! ahhhhhhh!!! I was just kind of thinking "oh my god, how do I write about something that has such little research?" Literally everything I've stated is what I have personally observed and have to basically state it as a fact...ohhhhh mercy. I kid you not, when I write my thesis, I swear I need wine to get me through it, lol. And some nice scented candles....that actually sounds kind of romantic. In no way would I ever dream about getting romantic with this colossal piece of poop that is my thesis.


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

Sounds like fun. I'm in college, but I still don't quite know what a thesis is. What do you have to do it for? Is it for a graduate program?


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

Pin your thesis down so we can all have a go at it.


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## Cristana (Jul 21, 2010)

My thesis is for a Graduate degree Ohpewp (by the way your name made me lol), it's for a M.Sc degree. Pita, my topic is "How to determine direction of rotation of a rotational structure in a confined matrix". Not only is the topic totally mental, there is maybe one academic journal out there actually on it as "rotational structures" have never been researched. Speaking of thesis's I need to get some pants on and head to the library and get my huge venti coffee again...mmmm coffee.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

Great title. My supervisor admitted to only getting through it by spending months in a haze of smoke and writing a line a day or something. I don't think his brain recovered and can guess what he was smoking. I know the various hells of academia, and thesis writing was one.


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## splattice (Sep 7, 2009)

Cristana said:


> ...my topic is "How to determine direction of rotation of a rotational structure in a confined matrix"...


That sounds cool. If you have the time and don't mind, would you elaborate further?


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## Cristana (Jul 21, 2010)

splattice said:


> That sounds cool. If you have the time and don't mind, would you elaborate further?


Sure, I'll elaborate a bit  Basically, it's in the Geoscience realm of things firstly. It is dealing with why particles arrange themselves into different structures that exhibit rotation, and from there, what direction they are rotating. It's quite complicated because the actual direction of rotation isn't researched in this field, and that leaves for huge margins of error to take place considering I'm only a masters student, and not a person who has a multidisciplinary ph.d collection, lol. So the rotation structure aspect of it actually does represent a structure that looks like there is a centre stone, with other stones around it (almost like a sun with planets orbiting around it), and that's what I've called a rotation structure. It sounds interesting, and in a sense it is, it's just insanely complicated and hard to research when very little is actually available on the topic. Basically I felt that the more one knows about the thin section samples, as in these rotations, the more one can learn about the underlying geometry of the sample being looked at. Good God I sound like a nerd. hahahaha


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## Cristana (Jul 21, 2010)

odd_one_out said:


> Great title. My supervisor admitted to only getting through it by spending months in a haze of smoke and writing a line a day or something. I don't think his brain recovered and can guess what he was smoking. I know the various hells of academia, and thesis writing was one.


hahahaha! My supervisor is Scottish, he has a bottle of whiskey in his office. Yes, so many hells it's unbelievable, when I'm done, I'm getting a bottle of champagne and drinking it in the bathtub


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## splattice (Sep 7, 2009)

Cristana said:


> Sure, I'll elaborate a bit  Basically, it's in the Geoscience realm of things firstly. It is dealing with why particles arrange themselves into different structures that exhibit rotation, and from there, what direction they are rotating. It's quite complicated because the actual direction of rotation isn't researched in this field, and that leaves for huge margins of error to take place considering I'm only a masters student, and not a person who has a multidisciplinary ph.d collection, lol. So the rotation structure aspect of it actually does represent a structure that looks like there is a centre stone, with other stones around it (almost like a sun with planets orbiting around it), and that's what I've called a rotation structure. It sounds interesting, and in a sense it is, it's just insanely complicated and hard to research when very little is actually available on the topic. Basically I felt that the more one knows about the thin section samples, as in these rotations, the more one can learn about the underlying geometry of the sample being looked at.


That is interesting. How are these things formed?



Cristana said:


> Good God I sound like a nerd. hahahaha


:yes We are the nerd. Resistance is futile.


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## SilentLoner (Jan 30, 2006)

I guess this is what I have to look foward to in the next few years of my life. I'm applying to grad school soon. Good thing I'm already a major cynic.


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## LALoner (Dec 3, 2008)

Professors are weenies.


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## creativedissent (Oct 25, 2008)

I hold and you punch! and aww why not nuke it?!


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## Cristana (Jul 21, 2010)

You know what? Nuking might be a great idea!!! haha. I'm working on the Results section now...and oh boy, my results don't match....it's such an epic failure of life...lol. Yes professors are major wieners, I may go as far as calling them penises, or collosal poopheads. 

I was never really a cynic about gradschool until I was actually in it. Just definatly make sure it is a topic which you agree to 1000000000%!!!! I kind of got swayed into this topic because I got a full scholarship and additional funding (I knew falling asleep in the library would pay off!). 

Blah, stupid thesis.


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## Belshazzar (Apr 12, 2010)

Is there a way to run a simulation of the phenomenon? Or maybe cross over into math journals that deal with the problem in a more abstract form and try to apply that to empirical data?


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## Cristana (Jul 21, 2010)

Belshazzar said:


> Is there a way to run a simulation of the phenomenon? Or maybe cross over into math journals that deal with the problem in a more abstract form and try to apply that to empirical data?


Trust me, I've definatly looked around for that type of simulator/programme. It's just not available to me, especially at a Masters level. A lot of places with this simulator programme said that I could not use it, unless I was a Ph.D student. Luckily, my supervisor understands that, it's just a super duper stressful thing to write about where very little is concrete evidence. I will be SO thankful when it's all just done, I feel so burdened by this all....sigh.


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## Belshazzar (Apr 12, 2010)

Cristana said:


> Trust me, I've definatly looked around for that type of simulator/programme. It's just not available to me, especially at a Masters level. A lot of places with this simulator programme said that I could not use it, unless I was a Ph.D student. Luckily, my supervisor understands that, it's just a super duper stressful thing to write about where very little is concrete evidence. I will be SO thankful when it's all just done, I feel so burdened by this all....sigh.


Smells like BS to me. There's no way they really need the program available 24/7. Have you told them you need it, not just for some assignment, but for your thesis? If they still say no, I'd definitely try some less than kosher ways of accessing it.


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## Cristana (Jul 21, 2010)

Belshazzar said:


> Smells like BS to me. There's no way they really need the program available 24/7. Have you told them you need it, not just for some assignment, but for your thesis? If they still say no, I'd definitely try some less than kosher ways of accessing it.


It honestly is a huge heaping pile of smelly BS that is going on with the graduate department at my school. They say they would have to send me to another university to use it, as they dont have it, and the uni that apparantly has it, is across the country...mmmmm hmmmmm okkkkkay (insert eye rolling here). It's insane the amount of crap I'm having to deal with for this topic, it's just ridiculous. I contacted an author I found whom writes a lot of the academic journals I've been comming across, and he basically said in so many words "this topic is something you need about 4 people each having a ph.d to actually do this project" ....sigh.


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## Cristana (Jul 21, 2010)

Pro, my thesis is almost done! Con, I hate it and want to jump off a cliff.....I don't even want to know the amount of coffee I've ingested during this process... wahhhhhh I need some Scotch.


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

Thank God I'm done with school. If I had to write about that subject, I would kill myself.


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## Cristana (Jul 21, 2010)

mbp86 said:


> Thank God I'm done with school. If I had to write about that subject, I would kill myself.


rofl. Yeah, it's horrifying...at least I'm almost done it...probably a couple more days then I'm free.....FREE I SAYY!!!! that is until I have to do revisions...fml. In all seriousness though, I have no idea why I was given this topic (no I did not choose it), and honestly I've contacted some of the authors of the academic journals I've read concerning past theories of what I've applied...and they all said to some degree that the topic I was tackling is more for a group of people holding ph.d's in physics, math, and geophysics. I just kind of am like...welll that's just lovely isn't it? Hooray for M.Sc? lol


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## mismac (Oct 27, 2005)

The title of this thread makes me laugh every time I see it :lol


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## anide (Jul 21, 2010)

Thesis, feces. They all suck. I liked my topic when I started but I never want to see my thesis again. Beer and complaining are the only things that got me through it. 

Whatever you do, just get it done and then enjoy the bubbly in the bubbly tub.


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## anonymid (Oct 16, 2005)

I would like to forget that I ever wrote a thesis. I would love to pack every known copy of it on a rocket ship headed straight toward the sun. Instead, a copy of it sits on a shelf in the graduate English lounge along with all the others. I'm absolutely mortified by the thought that every now and then some stranger might pick it up and flip through it. It's been there for seven years now, so I'm sure it's happened at least a few times. :afr


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

^ Nick it? Hide it?


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## Cristana (Jul 21, 2010)

rofl Mismac I'm glad you liked the title, I say odd things frequently that are somewhat amusing, haha...Yeah I would definatly like to pack this shiet on a rocket ship too anonymid...right for the sun as well...but on its journey to said sun, the rocket ship should be infested with something horrifying so that if the rocket ship somehow misses the sun the infestation will get it...BWAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA *lightning cracks* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAA. oh In other news, I have finished the first copy and sent it to my supervisor...it's time for a celebratory dance *dances, and shakes her bum*. Honestly I never want to see this horrifying document/pdf/ thingiedoodle, anymore than absolutely necessary...stupid effing paper..ugh. *shakes fist*. But for tonight, I have a steamy date with my bubble bath and a bottle of champagne


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## Cristana (Jul 21, 2010)

That sure was short-lived happiness. My thesis supervisor said I wrote it wrong and it needs a massive overhaul and reworking..%^[email protected]#%$(*@(#*@(*#@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 *cries*


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

^ How boringly typical of him leaving it that long to give feedback like that. I got feedback on mine every month until one day he announced without warning, "Double it!" I needed an extension.


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## Cristana (Jul 21, 2010)

odd_one_out said:


> ^ How boringly typical of him leaving it that long to give feedback like that. I got feedback on mine every month until one day he announced without warning, "Double it!" I needed an extension.


 I would have wanted to smack a ho. No wait, I still do want to smack a ho.


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## Hello22 (Feb 10, 2010)

Haha Ya that's exactly how i felt before handing it in, the amount of energy i put into it was ridiculous. I had to use a statistical s/w package called spss and realised a day before my presentation of my thesis that i'd quoted the wrong figures on my chart ops then had to rerun the whole thing again (and again and again as i found out later).
And don't get me started on the referencing - another nightmare


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## Cristana (Jul 21, 2010)

It's a total nightmare....holy crap. To make matters even more proportionally horrific, he didn't even give me any guidelines how to change these "mistakes" or anything. I guess I get to change them to what I think is right ( HAHAH that didn't go so well the first time), not so sure if that's a good idea....and then I get to re-edit this whole thing again? SOUNDS FUN!! FUN LIKE A VACATION! :sus riiiiiiiiiight. Oh Oh Oh, here's the kicker, he's going to be out of reach for the next 3 weeks because he's going to Germany...WOW. FULL OF EPICNESS!!! :mum WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I need a hug.


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## Hello22 (Feb 10, 2010)

Cristana said:


> It's a total nightmare....holy crap. To make matters even more proportionally horrific, he didn't even give me any guidelines how to change these "mistakes" or anything. I guess I get to change them to what I think is right ( HAHAH that didn't go so well the first time), not so sure if that's a good idea....and then I get to re-edit this whole thing again? SOUNDS FUN!! FUN LIKE A VACATION! :sus riiiiiiiiiight. Oh Oh Oh, here's the kicker, he's going to be out of reach for the next 3 weeks because he's going to Germany...WOW. FULL OF EPICNESS!!! :mum WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I need a hug.


:hug an e-hug! Luckily my supervisor was cool, she gave me loadsa guidance, and she had a high standard of what was required of me so i was constantly re-writing stuff. But she didn't give me too much help, as she always pointed out to me that it wasn't her thesis, which was fair.


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## Cristana (Jul 21, 2010)

Hello22 said:


> :hug an e-hug! Luckily my supervisor was cool, she gave me loadsa guidance, and she had a high standard of what was required of me so i was constantly re-writing stuff. But she didn't give me too much help, as she always pointed out to me that it wasn't her thesis, which was fair.


yay e-hugs! Yeah I totally understand the viewpoint of being strict but fair, I couldn't agree more. I literally though had zero guidance, he was usually out of the country, not around, or anything. He also never had an opinion of anything when I asked him...basically I was left in the total dark then backhanded to the face (not literally, lol). He also didn't even review it as he said he would, he reviewed 9 pages and said he wont do anymore. That's not really helpful...at all. I mean it's a rough draft, and he appeared to be expecting like the most amazing document ever out of it. In my opinion, a rough draft is a rough draft...there are going to be errors without a doubt. I'm just totally drained and everything, it seems like it wont end and it keeps going on and on. :roll


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

I went through 3 supervisors (one left the university). With the middle one, I wasted years because he pretended to know what my research involved and would praise everything and never criticise. I've heard that strategy being used by other supervisors to shirk responsibility. I realised early on something was very off, but waited before making any complaints. When I did, I was told they'd never seen such incompetence from a supervisor (I kept extensive records, especially email). I was also told they'd rarely seen a student have to suffer through so much. They eventually got me a new one, but it took going as high as the Dean of Faculty because my supervisor had an important position and was actually in charge of graduate studies! 

My only regret is waiting to do anything about the situation; the supervisor I got, while he made the mistake I mentioned in my previous post, was mostly competent and with it. There are procedures in place for dealing with bad supervision. The first person to contact is the one in charge of graduate studies (I had to skip that step due to the reason mentioned above).


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## Cristana (Jul 21, 2010)

odd_one_out said:


> I went through 3 supervisors (one left the university). With the middle one, I wasted years because he pretended to know what my research involved and would praise everything and never criticise. I've heard that strategy being used by other supervisors to shirk responsibility. I realised early on something was very off, but waited before making any complaints. When I did, I was told they'd never seen such incompetence from a supervisor (I kept extensive records, esp. email). I was also told they'd rarely seen a student have to suffer through so much. They eventually got me a new one, but it took going as high as the Dean of Faculty because my supervisor had an important position and was actually in charge of graduate studies!
> 
> My only regret is waiting to do anything about the situation; the supervisor I got, while he made the mistake I mentioned in my previous post, was mostly competent and with it. There are procedures in place for dealing with bad supervision. The first person to contact is the one in charge of graduate studies (I had to skip that step due to the reason mentioned above).


OMG That's horrible!!! I'm so sorry you had to go through that huge mess (to put it lightly). I'm really frusterated because it seems like no matter how much I do, and think I make progress, it's like 3 steps backwards...ugh. I just want to be done and get my move to the UK in the works. This isn't just a hinderance on my schooling, but my life, and I'm SOOO sick of it


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

^ Yes, that's exactly what it was like. I would imagine a treadmill where the faster I ran, the faster I went nowhere or ended up tumbling backwards. The feeling of life being on hold put me off getting any more qualifications; never again.


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## Cristana (Jul 21, 2010)

odd_one_out said:


> ^ Yes, that's exactly what it was like. I would imagine a treadmill where the faster I ran, the faster I went nowhere or ended up tumbling backwards. The feeling of life being on hold put me off getting any more qualifications; never again.


That was well said. It's how I feel completely..and it's horrifying. It's even put me off of even wanting to do anything geology-related (which my thesis, as well as my M.Sc is). So I guess after I'm done all of this I have an even larger problem of deciding whether or not I can even handle anything in that field based on these horrible expierences I've had with it...Oh man. I just want this to end SO badly.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

I have no idea what a thesis is. Is it like a long *** version of an undergrad research methods course?


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## FlyEaglesFly (Jun 12, 2008)

I just started my master's degree and my program has the choice of a thesis track or non-thesis track (take comp exams instead of writing a thesis)...I'm leaning towards the thesis track but this thread is scaring the heck out of me!!!


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## Ambivert (Jan 16, 2010)

^^I'd do the comp exam, it probably won't be as annoying as the thesis unless I'm missing something..


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## anonymid (Oct 16, 2005)

FlyEaglesFly said:


> I just started my master's degree and my program has the choice of a thesis track or non-thesis track (take comp exams instead of writing a thesis)...I'm leaning towards the thesis track but this thread is scaring the heck out of me!!!


I had this option in my program, too. It depends on what your goals are, I suppose. If you intend to pursue a career in academia and continue on to a doctoral program, then you definitely should write a thesis. If not, you should probably just pick whichever option would be less stressful for you or more suited to your talents.

That said, I had to do comps and a thesis. The non-thesis track involved writing a series of shorter papers or something (I'm not really sure, because I don't recall anyone in my program choosing that option), but comp exams were part of the process regardless of which track you were on.

What's your field, by the way?


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## kobie (Aug 21, 2010)

I think if the topic you are doing for the thesis really interests you, then thesis option is a good choice and maybe not so much a torture. I am in the process of applying right now, hoping to start the program in Spring 2011. I guess I have to choose the non-thesis track first and then if I can find a opening, I will switch to thesis. As Anonymid said, it is better to do thesis in the long term, especially if you wanna apply for PhD later. This is my case because I lack research experience in undergrad and that sucks when applying for PhD. I got straight rejections in both of my attempts to apply for the last 2 years due to this though I have good stats and even working experience. Really hate this.
I guess even when you decide to get a job after getting your master, the thesis track is also a good choice as well, proving your competence in the field you wanna to work in.


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## FlyEaglesFly (Jun 12, 2008)

anonymid said:


> What's your field, by the way?


Sport Management...I'm not too sure what I want to do post-graduation - I worked in the sports industry for about 2 years before deciding to go get my master's, and my experience in the professional world was mixed - I loved that I was working in sports, but for a variety of reasons I didn't enjoy working at the specific organization that employed me...

The idea of getting my PhD and becoming a professor appeals to me, but Im not sure that Im cut out for the workload that's involved - everything seems so intimidating right now (I'm sure that's probably a typical new grad student feeling though!)...I feel like if I get my master's with the thesis option, that will at least leave the option open to carry on and get my PhD if I choose to - if not, I'm still able to go re-enter the workforce after graduation...


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## Cristana (Jul 21, 2010)

The reason my thesis topic was so horrifying (and still is) for me, is simply because of the following:
a) I had absoultely no guidance or help from anyone
b) I asked my supervisor for assistance or reassurance I was on the right track, I always heard nothing but positive things so I assumed I was on the right track (I was NOT)
c) There was no template available for me to use although I had asked about one (leading me to write the entire thing wrong)
d) My topic has zero previous research and so I had to use theories from other disciplines and apply them to it then hypothesize if i was right (scary as all hell)
e) My supervisor is out of the country 80% of the time, and is unreachable most of the time as well...leading to a horrible level of communication.
f) My topic is not something I personally chose, it was given to me ( I wish it wasn't, and I wish I had a choice at the time) so I don't even enjoy it.

All in all, my experiance was horrible, and still is, as I haven't finished it yet. I would do what Anonymid had suggested and to pick the option that suits YOUR needs and YOUR desires best. Trust me, and from people on here who have written their thesis, you need to do what YOU feel comfortable doing because anything that causes you angst or frusteration while your writing your thesis (if you choose to) is seriously amplified a lot due to the stresses that comes along with it.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

During the experience I mentioned, I attended a few skills courses on campus. During one class (on time management) attended by research students from my faculty, I heard a number of supervision stories. I had it very bad, but many of them also had it bad. The course organiser admitted it was a known problem in our faculty and she was going to organise a group to complain to the Dean. I never heard what happened. She also commented on how isolated research students were and she was a local therapist and had heard from her colleagues about them seeking help at their wits' end.

Another course organiser (for writing skills) told me all about her supervisor. She looked in her 40s and said due to him she'd never gotten her PhD. She described how "lovely" his demeanour was and how he'd always praise and say everything was on track. However, it wasn't. She later discovered a string of failed candidates behind him. When she confronted him, he said she was hurting his feelings. She was almost in tears telling me it was the deepest regret of her life not doing anything about it sooner. There's little to no accountability for these people. My old supervisor I mentioned kept his job in charge of graduate studies, despite the Head of Dept. and the Dean knowing in detail how he conducted himself.


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## Cristana (Jul 21, 2010)

odd_one_out said:


> During the experience I mentioned, I attended a few skills courses on campus. During one class (on time management) attended by research students from my faculty, I heard a number of supervision stories. I had it very bad, but many of them also had it bad. The course organiser admitted it was a known problem in our faculty and she was going to organise a group to complain to the Dean. I never heard what happened. She also commented on how isolated research students were and she was a local therapist and had heard from her colleagues about them seeking help at their wits' end.
> 
> Another course organiser (for writing skills) told me all about her supervisor. She looked in her 40s and said due to him she'd never gotten her PhD. She described how "lovely" his demeanour was and how he'd always praise and say everything was on track. However, it wasn't. She later discovered a string of failed candidates behind him. When she confronted him, he said she was hurting his feelings. She was almost in tears telling me it was the deepest regret of her life not doing anything about it sooner. There's little to no accountability for these people. My old supervisor I mentioned kept his job in charge of graduate studies, despite the Head of Dept. and the Dean knowing in detail how he conducted himself.


Wow...that's just horrible.  . At this point I'm just trying so hard to get this done...I don't even care anymore...I just don't think I can mentally take much more of this garbage.


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## axortega (Oct 21, 2010)

Hi guys! I am working on my Master's thesis in public health and I am so tired of all this thing called Thesis....After reading your comments I can empathize with many of you. Why is so difficult to get positive feedback from our mentors? Some of them act like if they were perfect.....And, if something is not the way they wanted is always wrong....I hope to preserve a little bit of my self-esteem by the end of this process  They've destroyed what I think a research should be....I am not interested in continuing with research after graduation....


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## Cristana (Jul 21, 2010)

I haven't posted for a while so I thought I would, considering this was the hell-hole that I opened on here in reference to that horrible thesis. I am STILL editing it....MY INTRODUCTION THAT IS. This is the 10th time I have re-edited my introduction, each time making the changes my supervisor has told me to...and it is still incorrect. He will not even look at my results yet because he is unsatisfied with my introduction. I have no more funding, and I'm paying to stay here and go to school here out of my own pocket, which is admittedly running very thin. I'm getting the impression that at this point I won't graduate, as he hasn't even approved a single page of my thesis, out of over 100 pages, and this has been going on for 10 edits. I'm not even sure what to do anymore, I feel numb inside and this entire process has turned me off completely of this subject matter...I don't even want to deal with it anymore. I often ask myself "why do I bother?"...I've never felt so dumb and hopeless in my life ( I was ranked at the top 5% of the students at my university, which is ranked #1 in Canada), and then transferred here to do the M.Sc...where apparantly I can't write a sentence correctly. It's absolutely ridiculous and have no idea what I'm going to do, I want to finish it and get my degree but this is horrifying, and it's putting the rest of my life on hold....Any advice?


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## Cristana (Jul 21, 2010)

axortega said:


> Hi guys! I am working on my Master's thesis in public health and I am so tired of all this thing called Thesis....After reading your comments I can empathize with many of you. Why is so difficult to get positive feedback from our mentors? Some of them act like if they were perfect.....And, if something is not the way they wanted is always wrong....I hope to preserve a little bit of my self-esteem by the end of this process  They've destroyed what I think a research should be....I am not interested in continuing with research after graduation....


I agree 100% with you, I feel completely dumb when it seems as though I can't seem to do anything right concerning this thesis. I hate this research field now and want nothing to do with it anymore, which raises the question as to why I'm even still doing it....


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## makeitstop (Jul 11, 2011)

Cristana said:


> I agree 100% with you, I feel completely dumb when it seems as though I can't seem to do anything right concerning this thesis. I hate this research field now and want nothing to do with it anymore, which raises the question as to why I'm even still doing it....


Hi, did you manage to finish your thesis in the end ?
I am also doing a Masters thesis and it is like drowning in mud. I hate it so much. I am supposed to be finishing up in a few weeks but I'm not sure I'm going to make it and too scared to talk to anyone at uni about it !


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## Addler (Apr 28, 2011)

Hey guys. It's 3 a.m., and my second exam/defense is in a few hours, and I can't sleep. I failed the first defense because no one prepared me and I had no guidance and was panicking. I started having panic attacks after that and am afraid that'll happen today. I've already been accepted to a PhD program and moved to that school (I'm back at my master's school for the day). I'm so worried I'll fail again and have to defer admission or lose my position or have a total breakdown (again. or worse than last time). I haven't even told my mother or my friends that my defense is today, I can barely handle it. I'm seriously questioning if any of this was/is worth it.


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## anonymid (Oct 16, 2005)

Addler said:


> Hey guys. It's 3 a.m., and my second exam/defense is in a few hours, and I can't sleep. I failed the first defense because no one prepared me and I had no guidance and was panicking. I started having panic attacks after that and am afraid that'll happen today. I've already been accepted to a PhD program and moved to that school (I'm back at my master's school for the day). I'm so worried I'll fail again and have to defer admission or lose my position or have a total breakdown (again. or worse than last time). I haven't even told my mother or my friends that my defense is today, I can barely handle it. I'm seriously questioning if any of this was/is worth it.


Sorry to hear you're struggling with this. Wish I had some good advice for you, but it was a very stressful thing for me too. I still don't know how I ever ended up finishing my thesis (and really I don't think I deserved to pass anyway). In my master's program, at least, the defense seemed to be more of a formality, and was actually kind of a casual thing. I definitely would've freaked out if it was something a little more rigorous. I feel like I got very lucky and that my profs went easy on me.

Anyway, I hope you're able to push through it and you do ok. It's understandable to have doubts; I think most people pursuing academic careers go through that, so you're not alone. Regardless, congrats on getting accepted to a PhD program--you should feel proud of yourself for that, regardless of how everything else turns out. I hope you're able to hang in there and get through your defense successfully! Let us know how it goes.


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## 390 (Jul 29, 2010)

Gah, I hate theses! I opted to do an undergraduate thesis on a subject that even the professors know very little about. Ended up dropping it, mostly my fault for not finding the motivation to make an early start like I promised - I'm way too much of a perfectionist to do a thesis, I can't produce anything of value until I'm certain I know EVERYTHING there is to know about the topic. The supervisors were rude and unhelpful and one member of academic staff even made a point of verbally attacking me on several occasions.


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## Addler (Apr 28, 2011)

Thanks, anonymid. I adore the Bartleby quotation, btw. 

I did it. I passed. It was one of the most horrible experiences of my life, and I could hear them saying in what ways I sucked when they were deliberating, and I had an awful moment where I thought I was gonna fail again, but I passed. I got the hell out of there and cried most of the afternoon--even now, I still feel like crap, and I keep doubting that it actually happened and that it's actually over, and I know this is gonna scar me for a loooong time. But it's over. So now it can start all over again with PhD studies. D:


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

I don't really have anything relevant to add except that the title of this thread is very funny. I've come across it a few times and it gets me every time.


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## JamieHasAnxiety (Feb 15, 2011)

No you wouldn't, you would look at your thesis and contemplate doing it, walk up to it and then it stares at you and you'd look down and walk away as if you meant to walk the other direction.

LOL, thesis win.
Anxiety fail.


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## makeitstop (Jul 11, 2011)

I wish the OP had replied to this. I hope she finished.
I can't believe I am finally here but I am about to notify the grad school that I am going to submit my thesis. 
This thesis has been a nightmare and so many times I doubted that I would ever make it. Somehow I broke the back of it and I can't wait to be FREEEEEEEE, free as the wind blows, free as the grass grows.
yes it has sent me a leetle bit crazy but at least I am nearly finished !!


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