# I don't feel anonymous in college anymore



## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

I keep seeing the same people walking around campus and in my classes. I'm recognizing more and more students the more I advance in my degree. Because of this I feel more and more unsafe like I'm being judged silently.

My school is supposed to have 25k students enrolled but I feel like there's only 400.

This probably has something to do with the small class sizes but it's still a big university. It feels weird to recognize almost everyone I see.


----------



## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

I was just thinking the same thing. Last year I only recognized like 5 people in my classes max, now for the classes that are specific to my major, I recognize about half of the people. Which means they probably recognize me. I just want to hide and not be noticed. :b


----------



## Trident44 (Nov 3, 2013)

That's why it's good to make friends with people as early as possible. This is bound to happen, social cliques are bound to form. The best time to make friends is when everyone is feeling vulnerable. That's why it's highly recommended to live on campus as a freshman, and maybe even as a sophomore.


----------



## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

Trident44 said:


> That's why it's good to make friends with people as early as possible. This is bound to happen, social cliques are bound to form. The best time to make friends is when everyone is feeling vulnerable. That's why it's highly recommended to live on campus as a freshman, and maybe even as a sophomore.


Welp, looks like I already missed that boat.


----------



## Trident44 (Nov 3, 2013)

What's your living situation like? If you're commuting, it's very tough. However if you're living on campus, it's definitely not too late.


----------



## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

Trident44 said:


> What's your living situation like? If you're commuting, it's very tough. However if you're living on campus, it's definitely not too late.


I'm commuting but so do a lot of other students. My school is described as a commuter school because more than half the students commute.

Making friends isn't that big of a priority for me if I'm being honest with you. I'm just trying to do well in my classes so I can graduate and get out of here and hopefully find a solid accounting job. I just don't like being noticed all the time and seeing the same people.


----------



## Trident44 (Nov 3, 2013)

InfiniteBlaze said:


> I'm commuting but so do a lot of other students. My school is described as a commuter school because more than half the students commute.
> 
> Making friends isn't that big of a priority for me if I'm being honest with you. I'm just trying to do well in my classes so I can graduate and get out of here and hopefully find a solid accounting job. I just don't like being noticed all the time and seeing the same people.


I just noticed you're from Chicago, too. Oh good God, don't tell me you go to DePaul?


----------



## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

Trident44 said:


> I just noticed you're from Chicago, too. Oh good God, don't tell me you go to DePaul?


...maybe


----------



## Trident44 (Nov 3, 2013)

InfiniteBlaze said:


> ...maybe


I went to DePaul. And I know it has a reputation of being a commuter school. I lived downtown for a year, had a pretty good experience, but commuted for the remaining 1.5 years I attended there, and it was miserable.

Given the type of students that attend there, too -- rich, funded, snobby, superficial (especially the business oriented students in the downtown campus) I can understand how you'd be having trouble, too. WOW! Small world.

If you're 21, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if I've run across you before at school (assuming you were there sometime from 11 - 13). I majored in finance/accounting, too. So, I spent a lot of time downtown :um


----------



## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

Trident44 said:


> I went to DePaul. And I know it has a reputation of being a commuter school. I lived downtown for a year, had a pretty good experience, but commuted for the remaining 1.5 years I attended there, and it was miserable.
> 
> Given the type of students that attend there, too -- rich, funded, snobby, superficial (especially the business oriented students in the downtown campus) I can understand how you'd be having trouble, too. WOW! Small world.
> 
> If you're 21, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if I've run across you before at school (assuming you were there sometime from 11 - 13). I majored in finance/accounting, too. So, I spent a lot of time downtown :um


Yeah, I started attending in 2011. I've always spent a lot of time downtown because at first I majored in computer science and then switched to accounting. Every now and then I have to go to lincoln park because of the artsy fartsy classes they make me take.

As for the students, I'd say a good number of them are privileged but I imagine that would be at any four year university. I just hope none of them notice how weird I am.


----------



## tonyhd71 (Jul 27, 2014)

InfiniteBlaze said:


> I keep seeing the same people walking around campus and in my classes. I'm recognizing more and more students the more I advance in my degree. Because of this I feel more and more unsafe like I'm being judged silently.
> 
> My school is supposed to have 25k students enrolled but I feel like there's only 400.
> 
> This probably has something to do with the small class sizes but it's still a big university. It feels weird to recognize almost everyone I see.


What school do you go to? UIC?


----------



## tonyhd71 (Jul 27, 2014)

Nvm I just saw you go to DePaul.


----------



## Baalzebub (Jun 15, 2013)

I recognize a lot of people from my classes and I'm certain they recognize me, probably as "that angry-looking guy who eats by himself all the time."


----------



## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

Baalzebub said:


> I recognize a lot of people from my classes and I'm certain they recognize me, probably as "that angry-looking guy who eats by himself all the time."


I feel like people recognize me as "that really ugly black guy who looks like he wants to rob someone"


----------



## keithjm (Apr 25, 2014)

Same here--. One thing is knowing you are friendless and socially isolated. Another thing is when half the campus knows your are friendless and socially isolated. And the worst is when the teachers know you are friendless and socially isolated. Happened to me once in 6th grade. The teacher asked me why did I think I was part of the social group in front of the whole class. I am still deeply hurt by it.


----------



## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

keithjm said:


> Same here--. One thing is knowing you are friendless and socially isolated. Another thing is when half the campus knows your are friendless and socially isolated.


Yup. I really hope people haven't figured out that I have no friends. At least none that I see regularly, that is.


----------



## Zack (Apr 20, 2013)

I tell anyone who wants to listen that I have no friends. But at uni it was embarrassing and soul-destroying. The thing is, I knew then and I know now that if I were a 'normal' person I wouldn't want to be my friend either. I very occasionally see another very isolated, timid and literally hunched over person and I wouldn't want to be his friend either. That probably sounds like self-pity, but it isn't intended that way. It is just a fact that I am sharing - or rather my opinion that I am sharing. I am getting better. But when it takes 15 years to start feeling better, it feels like a very hollow and pointless achievement.


----------



## plarp (Sep 29, 2014)

InfiniteBlaze said:


> I feel like people recognize me as "that really ugly black guy who looks like he wants to rob someone"


rofl


----------



## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

keithjm said:


> Same here--. One thing is knowing you are friendless and socially isolated. Another thing is when half the campus knows your are friendless and socially isolated. And the worst is when the teachers know you are friendless and socially isolated. Happened to me once in 6th grade. The teacher asked me why did I think I was part of the social group in front of the whole class. I am still deeply hurt by it.





InfiniteBlaze said:


> Yup. I really hope people haven't figured out that I have no friends. At least none that I see regularly, that is.


Yeah, I can relate.

I feel like my classmates (and definitely my pretty, party-girl roommates) know...which just makes me more anxious because I feel like I'm being judged for being that "weird girl who never talks." I really wish it was socially acceptable to be a loner. That would reduce some of the anxiety I experience on a daily basis.


----------



## llodell88 (May 15, 2011)

there are a lot of quiet ppl in accounting. i srsly dropped intermediate accounting 2 because my project members (was supposed to work on multiple group projects with them throughout the semester) would not talk much, extrememly passive...and i'm not leader material...i averaged 4 hours of sleep the first few weeks of class and i can't be telling ppl what to do and keeping track of stuff like that (i did probably 80% of the 1st project and everything else was done the night before the test and project due). there are 3 of them now and I know one guy did the entire 2nd project by himsef after i dropped the class poor guy.


----------



## Unknown0001 (Aug 2, 2013)

mezzoforte said:


> I was just thinking the same thing. Last year I only recognized like 5 people in my classes max, now for the classes that are specific to my major, I recognize about half of the people. Which means they probably recognize me. I just want to hide and not be noticed. :b


Same here


----------



## MildSA (Sep 29, 2014)

mezzoforte said:


> I really wish it was socially acceptable to be a loner. That would reduce some of the anxiety I experience on a daily basis.


If it makes you feel any less anxious....it gets better w/ age. Most kids in Elementary/High-School (besides being young & dumb) had too much time on their hands thus they bully/tease/judge other kids & you couldn't avoid them. In college, you can easily avoid the wrong crowd or even disappear in the crowd w/o anybody noticing it. You should be able to find roommates who appreciate living in solitude...I'm pretty sure there are a couple of nerdy chicks on your campus who rather be playing games as oppose to party hopping of Friday nights. (Join a nerdy club...it will actually help you deal w/ your SA)

Meanwhile in the "real world" MOST folks are too busy dealing w/ family/work to even be socializing on a regular basis let alone wonder about their co-worker's life. Some folks live in a cubical or work from home thus have no chance to socialize. Basically, folks w/ a full-time job & family (which is the majority of adults) have enough things to keep them occupied for them to go around judging a well mannered person. Besides, there have been plenty of reclusive people all throughout history that were successful & well liked...as long as you're a well-meaning human being society in general isn't going to label you a "weirdo" but rather "mysterious".


----------



## HellCell (Jul 8, 2014)

huh, I'm the opposite of you. I never felt I needed to be anonymous to be in a comfort bubble. If anything I want to be known so I can actually get a chance to connect with someone.


----------



## Icy Tulips (Jul 28, 2014)

I know a couple of people who are in several of my classes (same major), so I see them daily. It does make me feel a bit suffocated, and I do have feelings of being judged. I try to ignore it though. The other downside is that I can't repeat outfits the next day for my other classes. That would get them talking. lol.


----------



## jcastaway (Jul 11, 2014)

yeah, I don't like seeing people from my old high school because they remind me of all of the embarrassing things I've done. I'm going to transfer next semester because my college is really antisocial. I like going to new places, gives me a fresh start without the past dragging me behind.


----------



## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

HellCell said:


> huh, I'm the opposite of you. I never felt I needed to be anonymous to be in a comfort bubble. If anything I want to be known so I can actually get a chance to connect with someone.


So it doesn't bother you that people are probably judging you regularly because they see you so often?


----------



## boas (Jun 9, 2013)

At this point, I've been in the same class, at one point or another, with pretty much everyone on my course. I'm guessing they've moved beyond merely thinking that I've been unfortunate in not being paired up with my friends and realised that the real reason I sit alone is that I don't have any. Actually I found out recently that a girl that I've never spoken to before knew my name; I'm guessing she asked someone else "who's that really quiet ugly guy?"


----------



## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

boas said:


> AActually I found out recently that a girl that I've never spoken to before knew my name; I'm guessing she asked someone else "who's that really quiet ugly guy?"


I really hope this doesn't happen to me because this is exactly the kind of stuff that I'm afraid of.


----------



## HellCell (Jul 8, 2014)

InfiniteBlaze said:


> So it doesn't bother you that people are probably judging you regularly because they see you so often?


Not all the judging is negative you know. I've actually had some good things said about me when I opened up.
In my experience in college, not a single person said anything to me that I found to be mean spirited. It's like person just know better by this point. I can't say the same for high school, but even then it was the crass students who'd do that.


----------

