# First Time Seeing A Counsellor



## Mortal Recoil (May 14, 2015)

I went to a counsellor a couple of weeks ago, and I'm not really sure how I feel about it. I know it was only one session, but when I went, quite a few times I was thinking in my head, "Why am I even here?" Day in and day out, my anxiety is slowly frizzing out my brain, and it feels like such a huge crutch in my life. But talking about it made it feel like this is just a normal thing that everyone goes through. I felt like I was wasting her time.

Does anyone feel like their problems are just dwarfed when they go to counselling or therapy?


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## NatashaGabber (Jun 20, 2015)

I have Depression, BPD and SA.

I had 8 sessions of counselling, my first experience of a talking therapy in 20 years of MH problems. I felt that she couldn't really deal with the underlying issues of what made me that way so i could get a better understanding of and learn to address those issues. We never discussed BPD, i got the impression it was outside of her remit. We skimmed over the Depression, again i'm not sure she had the tools to address the complexity of the underlying causes of Depression i present with. Anyway, we spent a few sessions looking at SA, I felt a bit like a child, I'm Probation Officer trained and have 10 years experiencing of using CBT with clients, I knew she knew this and i think it wasn't easy for her either, I mean i'd preached all this stuff myself many times before, I know what to do to overcome some of my SA and if i could i wouldn't have been sat theere in the first place.

I also felt like she was just putting me in a box with the rest of the SA sufferers. It was like going through the motions. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't resistant and opened up about my thoughts and feelings and overall it did help me recognise my thoughts better (instead of running on emotions) and a i rarely finished a session with a dry eye.

But in the grand scheme of things I feel no better than i did before it but at least i tried. I'm now awaiting CBT and will throw myself into it 100%, i mean i do want to get better, I'm just a bit cynical about anything working for me at the moment.

Sorry if this doesn't help you, it's the best i can offer, I hope you get what u need to recover


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## WinterDave (Dec 5, 2003)

I went to my first session with a psychologist two days ago.....

She was up front about telling me that she has to by law violate my pt. confidentiality if I indicate that I am a danger to myself or others.....

That's fine and that's the law....

But as someone who works in acute mental health, I know how ridiculously over-cautious they are with the SI/HI buzz words....

I have seen 80 year old guys with bowel cancer innocuously say that they would be better off dead....

Bam, Sectioned 12'ed to a psyche ward....

They want you to open up to them, and when you do you're screwed...

I don't want to sound negative or discouraging here, but they set the bar so ridiculously low when it comes to Si/HI....

She gives me a depression screening to fill out before I leave....

One question is 'Thoughts of hurting yourself' 0 to 5'....
Of course I am going to answer 0....

I know it's necessary and important, and their hands are tied by law not to mention their license....

But when it comes to mental health, you are guilty until proven innocent, especially when you get the psyche patient label....

And a doctor who doesn't even know you, can take someone else's word that you said something while drunk or in an argument, and next the cops are knocking on your door and taking you to a hospital....

Again, don't want to sound discouraging, but there is a conflict between honesty and legality....

And it is so strange talking about *my *problems with someone, when all of my time is spent dealing with other people's problems....


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## Retrograde Movement (May 31, 2015)

Good points, WinterDave. I'm on the verge of killing myself, and you'd think that mental health professionals would be the people to see for that. Yet all they have to offer me, if I were to talk, is lockup in a psych ward, where I can look forward to being treated like an animal. Where is the help for people who need it? Why pretend it is a therapeutic relationship when it is more like police officer and criminal?


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## WinterDave (Dec 5, 2003)

If someone is on the verge of killing themselves, then they should be honest with their doctor and get help....

But the bar is set so ridiculously low, pretty much the majority of the population might get sent to a psyche ward if they were honest with their doctor....

Where I work, the addiction screening is 'Have you had more than three drinks on a single occasion in the past year'?

And the psychiatric screening is as ridiculous....

Has life sometimes really sucked, and I questioned it's purpose....

Be honest, and say something the wrong way, or your shrink misinterprets or misunderstands you, and you might be in trouble and taking a forced holiday....

And I hardly can imagine how guilty until proven innocent you are viewed, if someone has actually spent time at a psyche hospital....

The first thing patients tell a new admission on the locked unit where I work is 'Don't tell the doctor anything'....

And I just think that is so sad and counter-productive....

But the law forces it to be that way....

Again I don't want to sound discouraging, f people are actually thinking about hurting themselves then they should be honest and get help....

I just think that the mental health criteria when it comes to 'being a danger to yourself', is ridiculously conservative....

Life can be hard, and people get depressed....

But they should be able to be honest with and trust their counselor, not be worried about what they say to them....

Just a problem I have with mental health services, still think counseling can be productive though....


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

WinterDave said:


> I went to my first session with a psychologist two days ago.....
> 
> She was up front about telling me that she has to by law violate my pt. confidentiality if I indicate that I am a danger to myself or others.....
> 
> ...


 where you from? Is there no law around capacity?? When I disclosed my self harm I was referred to my g.p. referred to psychiatry but I always had my rights. Unless I said I had a plan to kill my self....which I never disclosed, then psychiatry would have to be told but I was never threatned....


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## CanIHabeReasonPlese (Jun 21, 2015)

Counselling... sigh. Ugh. **** is ridiculous. So hard to find a good one.
And all they can do is listen.
No implications whatsoever. All they can do is just passively listen to your problems. It's torture.

There is better out there.


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## icecreamsnow (May 24, 2015)

Yeah it has that effect. I started therapy not too long ago and it was frustrating to begin with because I was such a pushover. I was in a suicidal state at home in my room but when I entered the therapist's room I suddenly became all "oh, it's not so bad, yeah I'm fine really" etc. and then as soon as I got home I started sinking into the Dark Place again. It's weird for the first time to be in a "safe place" where the unspeakable things that trouble you constantly become normal all of a sudden, it does sort of make you feel like you're making a mountain out of a molehill and don't deserve to be there.

But you do! Don't let the new atmosphere of the counselling sessions make you withdraw, and practice bringing in how you feel at your worst into the sessions and make that the focus, rather than letting it turn into a pleasant sort of chit-chat about the problems as though they're minimal and far away (I had this problem at first). 

It's normal to feel the way you do at first, but once you have a few more sessions and get deeper into it, you'll feel the benefit (hopefully!).


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## FullMetalTonic (Jul 7, 2015)

My suggestion would be to hang in there with your counselor for a while unless you just don't connect with them on any level whatsoever. I've seen my counselor maybe 8 times. Sometimes she's great, sometimes just a good listener. 

Therapy gives you a chance to talk deeply about your problems. This can help you come to new insights on your own, and at times your counselor may give you perspectives that you wouldn't otherwise see.

Unless the cost is killing you, keep at it.


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