# hugging therapist?



## MNM (Oct 3, 2012)

have you ever? would you ever?


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

If she's hot, why not


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## WinterDave (Dec 5, 2003)

I had a young, attractive female therapist....

It made things worse and distracting....

She's doing breathing exercises for panic attacks and I am worried if I am staring at her...

And there was no way I could discuss intimacy and dating with her....

I actually had requested an older, male therapist who seemed like he had a good personality....

But he was overbooked....

As for hugging, not recommended unless it is a female patient and therapist....


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

I wouldnt mind if she was attractive but I would never do this with a male therapist, that's just weird.


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## Blag (Dec 12, 2014)

Hugging is not a sexual act man. Why are all the guys saying that only hug the ladies? 

I hug people to express my gratefulness or my sympathy, could be male or female.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

She had me hug her at the end of a few sessions, probably because I was always so shrunk in on myself, often crying by then, had probably mentioned how non-touchy-feely my family is, and obviously uncomfortable with physical contact. I obliged but didn't like it. :/

I don't know if this was normal or not.


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## forgetmylife (Oct 1, 2011)

a hugging-therapist or hugging a therapist? 

i would take hugs, hell and even cuddles especially if she was cute lol

female hugs are the best :cuddle i could use more in my life


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## WinterDave (Dec 5, 2003)

I hug males at work, I am just saying that it is inappropriate for opposite sexes in the therapist-patient setting....

It is therapeutic setting and boundaries must be maintained....

It would be like a teacher dating a student....

They are not your friend, you are paying them to perform a service...

It would be like hugging your plumber or electrician....


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## forgetmylife (Oct 1, 2011)

WinterDave said:


> I hug males at work, I am just saying that it is inappropriate for opposite sexes in the therapist-patient setting....
> 
> It is therapeutic setting and boundaries must be maintained....
> 
> ...


how did you get from hugging to dating?

hugs are harmless... ive hugged complete strangers before and then have never seen them again

if a patient is crying hysterically and going through something terrible in their life, what's wrong with the therapist offering a hug? who cares if they're opposite sexes...

a therapist is neither a plumber nor an electrician, and there is nothing wrong with hugging a plumber or electrician if you know them and it's consensual (lol) - assuming they came over to do some work and you are paying them... what's wrong with a hug?


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## MNM (Oct 3, 2012)

forgetmylife said:


> how did you get from hugging to dating?
> 
> hugs are harmless... ive hugged complete strangers before and then have never seen them again
> 
> ...


I agree, I see nothing wrong with it in that type of setting. Regardless of sexes, actually some people, like myself feel more uncomfortable with women... so I would never allow it with a woman. That being said, I am not sure I'd ask my male therapist either, mostly cuz I'm scared of the rejection



Blag said:


> Hugging is not a sexual act man. Why are all the guys saying that only hug the ladies?
> 
> I hug people to express my gratefulness or my sympathy, could be male or female.


Amen to that


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## WinterDave (Dec 5, 2003)

People who are going to a therapist have issues....

Hugs run the risk of being misinterpreted by the patient for more than they actually are...

It might cause the patient to think that their therapist is romantically attracted to them, thus feeding into a delusion or even cause flashbacks to past sexual trauma....

If it's a female patient and therapist, and the patient just had a devastating session and crying then that's one thing....

But routine hugs between patients and clients of different sexes would be too risky....

Let's say one has a teenage child....

Would people be uncomfortable if a high school teacher or therapist, older and of the opposite sex, was routinely hugging their child?

I would say 90 percent of the parents would say yes.... 

Hugs at church, an AA meeting, a funeral, high school reunions, a retirement party etc. are one thing, hugs between patient and therapist another....

It would be like hugging your doctor or nurse....

Great if he just saved your life but odd if he is just doing bloodwork....

That is what handshakes are for....


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

The only time I would hug my therapist is on the final session as an expression of thanks. Any other time would seem inappropriate.


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## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

I dont like the idea of hugging a dude lol but if its a girl i sure wouldnt mind


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## causalset (Sep 11, 2016)

Anyone else thinks this thread was hijacked? To me the OP sounded as if she was referring to the situation when she is crying and needing a comfort but then a bunch of dudes came in with their fantasies.

But anyway I tend to think that it is inappropriate, and I think @tehuti88 can sue her therapist and get her lose her licence if she wanted to, despite the fact that they are same gender and all that; I am not saying she should, its up to her to decide; I am just saying how it works legally. I even read somewhere that just a regular friendship with a therapist (such as a guy going to the gym together with his male therapist) is pretty much illegal: even after the therapy is over they have to wait substantial amount of time (as I recall several years) before they can be friends or even aquitances.

This by the way brings a bigger issue I have with a therapy: since we both know we have to pretend we don't know each other outside the office, how can anything a therapist possibly say to me ever lift up my self esteem? Or how can therapist give me any other type of advice if he/she isn't even allowed to be in my social circles? Quite honestly the only reason I even go to therapy is that I can't get *real* help from *real* friends (whom I don't have) so what else am I to do? But maybe thats just my perspective with dealing with Asperger. Perhaps someone else with some other mental illness does in fact need professional help, I don't know. But none of the therapists ever helped me so far, not much anyway.


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## MNM (Oct 3, 2012)

causalset said:


> Anyone else thinks this thread was hijacked? To me the OP sounded as if she was referring to the situation when she is crying and needing a comfort but then a bunch of dudes came in with their fantasies.
> 
> But anyway I tend to think that it is inappropriate, and I think @tehuti88 can sue her therapist and get her lose her licence if she wanted to, despite the fact that they are same gender and all that; I am not saying she should, its up to her to decide; I am just saying how it works legally. I even read somewhere that just a regular friendship with a therapist (such as a guy going to the gym together with his male therapist) is pretty much illegal: even after the therapy is over they have to wait substantial amount of time (as I recall several years) before they can be friends or even aquitances.
> 
> This by the way brings a bigger issue I have with a therapy: since we both know we have to pretend we don't know each other outside the office, how can anything a therapist possibly say to me ever lift up my self esteem? Or how can therapist give me any other type of advice if he/she isn't even allowed to be in my social circles? Quite honestly the only reason I even go to therapy is that I can't get *real* help from *real* friends (whom I don't have) so what else am I to do? But maybe thats just my perspective with dealing with Asperger. Perhaps someone else with some other mental illness does in fact need professional help, I don't know. But none of the therapists ever helped me so far, not much anyway.


yes i feel that it got hijacked or something too. i never intended it as a sexual question, and frankly. i dont think of hugs as sexual anyway, more or less a comfort thing.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

I think that's possibly the dumbest thing I've ever seen on here - and that's saying something.

It's always inappropriate - and ****ing weird.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

I think hugging is ok....form of greeting.

I don't like being touched so no for me though.


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## MNM (Oct 3, 2012)

don said:


> I think that's possibly the dumbest thing I've ever seen on here - and that's saying something.
> 
> It's always inappropriate - and ****ing weird.


why is it dumb? people have done it, a google search can bring you to many stories... i was just taking a poll to see who has and who would....

not really dumb. i can understand why some would feel that connection and have that need.


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## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

Therapists aren't allowed to hug their clients. It's a violation of their ethics code.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

MNM said:


> why is it dumb? people have done it, a google search can bring you to many stories... i was just taking a poll to see who has and who would....
> 
> not really dumb. i can understand why some would feel that connection and have that need.


Sorry - dumb is a bit rude, I know. I get cranky - I'm probably unstable.

I would say it's unwise - and I doubt most therapists would do it. Too easy for people to misconstrue what's going on. It's not appropriate, although I can see why many would want to - we all need a hug sometimes. I just don't think your therapist is the one you should be getting it from.


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## MNM (Oct 3, 2012)

you don't have to hug people are you friends with only LOL... what on earth?

complete strangers have hugged from tragedy or just for other reasons, I've heard of people hugging a random homeless person they met

i think many people think of hugs in a very different way apparently.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Maslow said:


> Therapists aren't allowed to hug their clients. It's a violation of their ethics code.


Does it specifically say this anywhere? From a legitimate source?

I'm not saying you're wrong, I'd just like to see what it says in regards to the law and/or whatever code that psychologists abide by. There are so many different answers in this thread, it's confusing. :/

The therapist who hugged me was the head psychologist at the mental health clinic. (The same one who later on kicked me out of treatment because they made funding cuts and I wasn't getting better fast enough...I've mentioned her many times.) She would greet me when we ran into each other in public too, one time even introduced her daughter...I found that pretty awkward ("Mental patient, this is my daughter; daughter, this is my mental patient!") (no, it didn't actually go like that, and we're called "clients," but still)...but whatever, we never held conversations or anything, and I didn't want to.

Incidentally, I once had a dream that she took me to lunch, and in the dream I was thinking, "Isn't this unethical...?" :um


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

tehuti88 said:


> Does it specifically say this anywhere? From a legitimate source?
> 
> I'm not saying you're wrong, I'd just like to see what it says in regards to the law and/or whatever code that psychologists abide by. There are so many different answers in this thread, it's confusing. :/
> 
> ...


Just wanted to say I also probably jumped the gun a bit here too tehuti. ( I was in a weird mood before and I don't think I read your post properly. Sorry about that.)

In the above situation I don't think it's all that inappropriate - your therapist is a lady and was obviously just being kind. I was meaning that it would be weird if it was a guy hugging a woman or vice versa, then messages get mixed and it would be pretty strange.


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## analyticalan (Jun 2, 2017)

I don't know about internationally, but in Australia, the Australian Psychological Society has guidelines on physical contact.



> 6. It is unethical for a psychologist to engage in any form of activity with the client which could be construed as sexual and/or which reduces professional objectivity. If a psychologist, engaged in a therapeutic role with a client, identifies personal feelings suggesting physical attraction which could lead to sexual intimacies, the psychologist should consider therapy or supervision for him or herself, or terminate therapy and take steps to refer the client elsewhere immediately.


I personally would never hug my therapist, and I would question the integrity of a therapist who tried to hug one of their clients.


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## MNM (Oct 3, 2012)

^ to be hugging isn't sexual so I would not see that as a violation there.... but apparently many people do see it as sexual, good thing I am not a hugger, I'd be weirding out everyone


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

MNM said:


> ^ to be hugging isn't sexual so I would not see that as a violation there.... but apparently many people do see it as sexual, good thing I am not a hugger, I'd be weirding out everyone


I think it's more about the risk vs reward in terms of therapeutic cost vs benefit. Therapy is about altering the thinking of the client by way of communication, a hug, since it is physical contact could lead to misinterpretation by the client, or alter the therapist / patient relationship. Its not going to do _anything_ to solve the clients problems and carries risk.

There just isn't any significant therapeutic benefit in it


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## Cassoulet94 (Apr 3, 2014)

splendidbob said:


> MNM said:
> 
> 
> > ^ to be hugging isn't sexual so I would not see that as a violation there.... but apparently many people do see it as sexual, good thing I am not a hugger, I'd be weirding out everyone
> ...


Plus it can be confusing as the patient can get attached and forget the therapist is not a friend but someone who is doing his/her job.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

I have before and I don't see what's weird about it as long as there's no romantic/sexual intentions. My school counselor hugged every one of her patients, so I knew that none of us received any special treatment compared to one another.


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## vela (Apr 19, 2012)

I've hugged my therapist before. Although I always asked her before I did. It's usually been after we talked about the really difficult stuff.


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## TheAbundanceGuy (Jul 25, 2017)

Why not? Hugging can release all kinds of endorphins, but mainly makes you feel good about yourself.

Although, make sure there are boundaries, if you don't feel comfortable say so. There should always be a line between therapist and client. Leave it up to your own discretion and how you feel about it.


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## Sabk (Jun 15, 2017)

A friend of mine is an avid believer in the emotional benefits of hugs. I kind of agree, though, I'm not much of a hugger. 
I think there's more to it than the act itself. You'd have to take into account reflexology, maybe? Knowing how to hug someone for the best results as opposed to just hugging them? 

It sounds a little ridiculous the more I talk about it, but I wouldn't rule it out. To me it falls in line with laughter therapy. Seems odd, but I've read plenty of people benefiting from it. So why not? 

Sent from my SM-G900H using Tapatalk


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## nomOnTea (May 16, 2017)

I actually have. I think it definitely depends on context; I hugged my therapist because I was having a bad time at the moment and it was comforting. If it is purely just for comfort, then yeah that's okay.


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