# Think you're unattractive?



## Restless Mind (Jul 19, 2006)

Having trouble picking up women?

Watch and learn:


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## Halcyon (Nov 24, 2003)

lol thanks

EDIT:

This is actually really entertaining ...I actually GET NERVOUS watching these guys do this because if i were put in a similair situation I'd also be a massive wreck...

Watching this, hopefully I can learn to make others around me more comfortable


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## Becky (Nov 5, 2003)

I watched all 5 of those, once it started I got all sucked into it :lol


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I have to bookmark this thread!


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

How many times did they mention Niel was a virgin?


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I only got to the second part, but I did notice that they mentioned that a little too much.

"Neil has seen no action. He is 22. He has to act the fool to talk to women." 

:mum


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

All in all it was an interesting show, though i doubt any of those people had as severe anxiety as some of us here. Personally i wouldn't even be able to talk to those two guys (or be under a camera) let alone going out approaching girls. I'm happy it worked for them though, that was nice (assuming the show is real).


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## likewater (Aug 3, 2006)

yeah after watching it I couldn't help but think how much harder approaching girls is for people with SA. my nervous system just goes haywire unless I've got a few drinks in me.


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

likewater said:


> yeah after watching it I couldn't help but think how much harder approaching girls is for people with SA. my nervous system just goes haywire unless I've got a few drinks in me.


Heh, i can't even avail myself of alchool, since i can't drink the stuff.

Completely out of luck here...


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## Halcyon (Nov 24, 2003)

The biggest obstacle for me would be once you start the conversation on what exactly to start saying to each other to keep it flowing...small talk...I need some serious work


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

We can't get overwhelmed :no. It didn't seem like the conversations were too involved. When I have time to watch the rest of the clips, I would like to see what they say to talk about. :stu

This si a pretty good thread :yes.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

I think this is a double post, but a good double post. As for the title of this thread I don't think it has to do so much with my lack of looks but more to do with coming off as scairy/creepy. I have to figure out what's causing this perception and how to change it. There's some kind of balance. If you're overly warm and friendly you come off as strange and creepy. If you're overly quiet you come off as strange and creepy.


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## bk (May 2, 2004)

I find this to be extremely stressful to watch. My heart is racing.


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

bk said:


> I find this to be extremely stressful to watch. My heart is racing.


It's crazy isn't it? I almost turned it off myself. How is it possible our anxiety is so strong we feel it even through the actions of other people?


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## Goran (Dec 9, 2003)

The first 2 minutes i acutally thought the 3 guys looked better (more impressive) than the 2 gurus. All of them have character...


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## Carbon Breather (Mar 13, 2005)

That was pretty cool and interesting. These are things i think you should learn in school. How to communicate, how a relationship works etc...
You learn alot about how sex works but nothing about how to get to that point.

They said something about flirting should be like a normal conversation and i agree. The problem is most of the time i can't even have that with people i already know.


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## silverstein (Jul 9, 2006)

That was a great show, and I wonder how you go about being a "contestant" (?) for something like that. I was sweating just watching those guys, but it was great to see them finally go through with it. I wouldn't mind some help myself (especially having someone to keep pushing me till I can go through with it) in learning to meet and talk to women, but it would take more than a few days. I wonder if those 2 guys are looking for a long-term-multi-year-near-impossible project 

On another note, once a guy gets used to it and doesn't mind rejection, it's quite amazing to see them in action. I was in a club on Friday night watching my friends dance when a couple of guys went on the floor and started dancing (very closely might I add) with them. It was obvious to me (maybe not to those 2 guys) that they weren't the least bit interested (they moved away, stared at them with blank confused looks, turned away from them, etc), but that didn't even slow down the guys. They moved along to other women and did the same thing, then returned to my friends who were still showing complete lack of interest. Nothing seemed to slow them down, and they never gave up going from woman to woman throughout the night. In the end, I don't know if they were succesful or not (I eventually went with another guy to dance with my friends so those two stopped coming), but it was still interesting to watch. I also learned that if a woman acts that way towards you, there's a good chance she thinks you're creepy, not playing hard to get.


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## Restless Mind (Jul 19, 2006)

I love the part when the two gurus do what they do best: Pick up women. 

The first guy, Wayne, is immediately able to make the woman laugh with his quick wit. Johnny, goes in and compliments a woman on her sunglasses. He gets her # within 5 minutes. 

Their performances are almost effortless.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

I can't think of a more uncomfortable situation to be thrown into than what those 3 guys had to do. If that's what it takes to get girls, then I might as well throw in the towel now and give up, because I'd rather sit at home every night than subject myself to that kind of torture. Going around forcing myself into incredibly awkward social situations is not my idea of a good time.


Not to turn this into another "guys have it so much harder than girls" thread, but those 5 clips really do make it easy to see why there are double the amount of virgin males on this board than women.


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## Guest (Oct 9, 2006)

Yeah I saw these before. The tall guy appears to have some anxiety issues, but the others have different problems (mostly body image).


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## likewater (Aug 3, 2006)

Futures, yes it is torture, I absolutely agree with you. but when you are successful it makes everything worthwhile. not to mention being comfortable around women in general would be so great. imagine you see a girl you are attracted to and you go over and casually talk to her ... it is possible, even for us.

so, heres a impromptu offer. anyone in NJ or tri-state area want to give it a go, I will fully support and motivate you. lets do this thing.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

> Not to turn this into another "guys have it so much harder than girls" thread, but those 5 clips really do make it easy to see why there are double the amount of virgin males on this board than women.


Yep.


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

I finsihed watching that a bit ago and found qiute interesting. Yep I could feel the anxiety from just watching it. I've been close to trying some things shown there I know how tough it is.
It kind of re-affirms some things I've read about before, but this is the first time actually watching the process in action.
I can do the smile, hi and touch thing. Wasn't aware of making the "sexy" part apparent though but I can see how it can work since it definity should leave no doubt in a woman's mind what a guy is up to.
You know, I could probably have handled being schooled by them. I know half of it already anyway.
But like someone else mentioned, I too also need to work on avoiding a strange and creepy vibe when getting friendly with girls.


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

FreeSoul said:


> Wasn't aware of making the "sexy" part apparent though but I can see how it can work since it definity should leave no doubt in a woman's mind what a guy is up to.


As if there could be any doubt. The mind boggles at the female psyche...


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## Redox (Jan 20, 2006)

I think and know that I am unattractive.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Redox said:


> I think and know that I am unattractive.


Not true, Redox!


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

Halcyon said:


> This is actually really entertaining ...I actually GET NERVOUS watching these guys do this because if i were put in a similair situation I'd also be a massive wreck...


I got too nervous too, and had to turn it off (I'll watch it in small bits later). I'm sure he will be successful, because through the power of editing they probably cut out the times when they were rejected. But still, just randomly go up and talk to a girl? That's crazy... :stu

I guess I still have some SA things to work on.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

silverstein said:


> That was a great show, and I wonder how you go about being a "contestant" (?) for something like that. I was sweating just watching those guys, but it was great to see them finally go through with it. I wouldn't mind some help myself (especially having someone to keep pushing me till I can go through with it) in learning to meet and talk to women, but it would take more than a few days. I wonder if those 2 guys are looking for a long-term-multi-year-near-impossible project
> 
> On another note, once a guy gets used to it and doesn't mind rejection, it's quite amazing to see them in action. I was in a club on Friday night watching my friends dance when a couple of guys went on the floor and started dancing (very closely might I add) with them. It was obvious to me (maybe not to those 2 guys) that they weren't the least bit interested (they moved away, stared at them with blank confused looks, turned away from them, etc), but that didn't even slow down the guys. They moved along to other women and did the same thing, then returned to my friends who were still showing complete lack of interest. Nothing seemed to slow them down, and they never gave up going from woman to woman throughout the night. In the end, I don't know if they were succesful or not (I eventually went with another guy to dance with my friends so those two stopped coming), but it was still interesting to watch. I also learned that if a woman acts that way towards you, there's a good chance she thinks you're creepy, not playing hard to get.


Some women are a trip. It's like they feel empowered by rejecting a guy that seems excessively interested. Then once other women show interest and seem to be loving the attention those women that initially rejected them will be staring at them and begin to feel maybe they missed something or made a mistake. Women hate mental games but it's almost like some mental games have to initially be played to get in through the wal.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Having guys with charisma and positiveness push you like that really helps. I need to find someone like them or someone that says if you don't go try and talk to that girl I'm going to sock you (but really will sock me hard if I don't).

This would put things in perspective. Yes the anxiety from the women may feel like I'm in danger but really they can't beat the crap out of me. I then am forced to take the much lesser of two evils.


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## beckjcream (Feb 20, 2005)

Futures said:


> I can't think of a more uncomfortable situation to be thrown into than what those 3 guys had to do. If that's what it takes to get girls, then I might as well throw in the towel now and give up, because I'd rather sit at home every night than subject myself to that kind of torture. Going around forcing myself into incredibly awkward social situations is not my idea of a good time.
> 
> Not to turn this into another "guys have it so much harder than girls" thread, but those 5 clips really do make it easy to see why there are double the amount of virgin males on this board than women.


totally agree. one night i actually had the courage the approach two cute girls i saw at a bookstore. without a doubt it was the most anxious i have ever felt in my life. unsurprisingly i came off as a total nervous wreck and made a complete fool out of myself. unless i make a complete mental 180 i dont see myself ever to be able to succesfully "pick up" women.


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## Ventress (Jul 30, 2006)

I got into these videos. I really thought Dave, the tall one, was just anxious, but he had nothing to be nervous about. He was really good-looking and being tall is usually a good thing.

But, I could totally see how Wayne and Johnny were so qualified to teach them a thing or two. I think it was their confidence and their feeling easy around women, making the women feel like they were important to them. Plus, women love being told they're _sexy_, but then again, who doesn't?


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## mranonhello (Nov 13, 2003)

likewater said:


> Futures, yes it is torture, I absolutely agree with you. but when you are successful it makes everything worthwhile. not to mention being comfortable around women in general would be so great. imagine you see a girl you are attracted to and you go over and casually talk to her ... it is possible, even for us.
> 
> so, heres a impromptu offer. anyone in NJ or tri-state area want to give it a go, I will fully support and motivate you. lets do this thing.


 :nw me me me pick me. I know for a fact exposure therapy of this kind can work on me. With my tech support job I was a total mess at first anxiety on overdrive and it learned to go down to a more reasonable level. After over one year of doing phone support for over a year my anxiety is nowhere near the levels it used to be. Now the difficulty will be actually getting me to try. Honestly I haven't tried approaching random females with the explict intention of getting to know them even once in my life. I've resorted to online dating sites as a way to try to get things started, but without only a small degree of success because while I can make a good impression online atlest some of the time, doing it in person is several times harders.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Radfaraf - you rock no matter what! :yes


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## mranonhello (Nov 13, 2003)

:evil what did I do to deserve that?


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

:lol You are getting out there and trying.


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## mranonhello (Nov 13, 2003)

:lurk oh you mean like this. :lol


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

likewater said:


> Futures, yes it is torture, I absolutely agree with you. but when you are successful it makes everything worthwhile. not to mention being comfortable around women in general would be so great. imagine you see a girl you are attracted to and you go over and casually talk to her ... it is possible, even for us.
> 
> so, heres a impromptu offer. anyone in NJ or tri-state area want to give it a go, I will fully support and motivate you. lets do this thing.


I wish you lived in my area. We could spend 5 hours a week approaching women. I'm sure at that rate we'd have to at least get around average in starting conversations.


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## R (Jun 13, 2006)

I wonder what girls have to say about this?


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## LiquidClear (Jan 11, 2007)

Heh, that was a real interesting watch.

I have such a hard time watching people fail at something, be it in a movie or real life, that I had to minimize the picture and just listen at a few parts where I could just feel the harsh rejection coming on. Needless to say I have an extreme fear of failure :lol I was extremely anxious watching that, but I'm glad I did. I'm sure that most of what they taught actually does work, but I just don't think I'd want to be the socialite who goes to bars to pick up women, but this is still kind of inspiring.


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## justlistening (Dec 4, 2006)

I had to pause it every 2 minutes because even watching such things make me extremely uncomfortable.









Yes you have to take a chance if you wanna score by the end of the night. But I dont know, maybe it's the anxiety talking, I just wanna take things much slower + all the girls I ever had a crush on were not into players at all.
So the tips of touching, calling her sexy right away and close the conversation by asking her phonenumber are things I'm not gonna copy (for tactical reasons  ) But throwing myself into a group of girls during daytime till I get through the anxiety barrier is something that would definitely benefit me, although I don't ever see myself doing that.


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## pyramidsong (Apr 17, 2005)

R said:


> I wonder what girls have to say about this?


Well, I can only speak for myself, but those "gurus" wouldn't turn me on at all. How insulting to our intelligence that they assume some of us can't see through that sort of thing. "Charming" guys really aren't all that attractive, IMO. And that's not the SA talking. I just find flirting and being "smooth" really off-putting. I prefer sincerity- even if it's only a one-nighter, frankness would get further with me than cheesy seduction techniques.

I feel for regular guys who want to talk to women and are scared, but I don't think this is the way to go about it. But YMMV.


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## emptybottle (Jan 3, 2005)

I wish there was a how-to resource like this for shy women who don't get approached or noticed. But there aren't even any websites or articles or anything. What the hell. We can be just as nervous as shy men.

I LOVE this video by the way. Common sense advice, but some people do need to be taught.


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## emptybottle (Jan 3, 2005)

pyramidsong said:


> Well, I can only speak for myself, but those "gurus" wouldn't turn me on at all. How insulting to our intelligence that they assume some of us can't see through that sort of thing. "Charming" guys really aren't all that attractive, IMO. And that's not the SA talking. I just find flirting and being "smooth" really off-putting. I prefer sincerity- even if it's only a one-nighter, frankness would get further with me than cheesy seduction techniques.


I thought Wayne's Wizard of Oz pick-up line to the girl with the red shoes was incredibly lame. It was kinda dorky for a dating guru. But it worked like a charm, didn't it? She was laughing and touching him within minutes. Shows that a lot of women fall for smoothness quite easily, so it pays to be a little bit phony and flirty and transparent when you're approaching a girl. And then you can be more sincere and like yourself after you've gauged her interest.
I'm not sure if it's a great idea to call a girl sexy shortly after approaching her. Why not tell her she's cute or pretty first? That would be flattering enough, wouldn't it?


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## OneSADClown (Apr 14, 2004)

that's great and all, but those guys had _friends_.. and they seemed comfortable in front of the gurus, not to mention being filmed and the whole TV crew around them.. jeez...

i couldn't go past meeting the pick-up guru and interacting with him, let alone chatting up total strangers and establishing physical contact, and calling a girl sexy in front of her friends.. i'd probably pass out on the spot or something..

they did a great job being in that bingo place, and i would probably have an anxiety attack from entering.. these guys just need a push in the right direction to get their confidence up, whereas i... can't even imagine where to start..

but it's great that these social problems are getting the spotlight lately (movies, shows, etc.).. this was never the focus of interest before, and i guess it's only a matter of time for them to showcase SA and the strength it has to take over people's lives.. for the seriousness of the disorder, one would think it would receive the proper attention, yet somehow everyone's pretending they don't notice it..


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

Yeah, I watched all of the videos, and I came to the same conclusion. There is a big difference between them and the typical SA guy. Their only problem was not being able to talk to women; they were otherwise normal. Like OneSADClown, I doubt I could even talk to the "guru" dudes normally, nevermind walking up to random women and touching them and whatnot. My problems go deeper than just being unconfident.

I felt uncomfortable even watching that. I sure hope there are other ways of meeting someone, because that type of thing doesn't appeal to me at all. How can you meet someone that you are compatible with by just approaching random strangers? It's like going to Blockbuster and picking a random movie based on what the front cover looks like. Maybe I'm wrong, but even beside the fact that I would never be able to do this, I just don't see how you could actually meet a potential parter this way. I suppose if you were just looking to get laid it would be a different story. I'm beyond that kind of thing by now. I just want a girlfriend. :sigh


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## red_reagel (Nov 21, 2006)

When I was young, like 7-15 I was told I was very ugly by various people of different races, genders, and ages. So that lead me to think I was ugly up till now. But now whenever I look in the mirror or see pictures of myself, I think I look fairly pretty. I do get self-conscious every now and then like everyone else, especially when I wear glasses (I have huger eyes whenever i put them on).


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## tewstroke (Feb 18, 2006)

I was such a cute kid. Lately however I see myself as either unattrative and slightly overweight or simply okay looking. I think if I lost like 20 pounds I'd look much better.


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