# So, I hate my friends.



## Ceilidh

I know the title sounds mean, but it's true /: me and my "best friend" have drifted apart so much this past year and it feels like he's a different person now. We have no similer interests, if we end up liking the same TV show I get really hyped up as we _finally _have something to talk about /:

The only reason I hang out with them anymore is because I'd prefer to have distant friends than no friends at all at the end of the day. I feel like I can't get any better ones.

Does anyone else ever feel this way around their "friends"?


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## shyvr6

Just remember that friends will come and go during your lifetime. You may lose a friend, but there may be one waiting for you around the next corner.


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## kaye

yes I don't like my newly met friends either. I joined this music class a few months ago, that ends tomorrow actually, and I'd been feeling so good I'd landed in a group of like minded people my age group. But now feeling discouraged. I don't feel supported by them...and considering checking out a different class. I'm feeling I need people who are more "evolved" ahaha. More mature, who can actually be supportive to me. I was burned bc I asked one gal if maybe she could coach me a little over the summer, and I feel another woman in the group influenced her to not want to. And so it's not supportive to me. I feel angry and also question if it's a good group for me.


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## kaye

wow you're in Wales?!!! My grandfather on my dad's side was from Wales! So cool! : )


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## Cake

thats exactly how i feel with my friends. we used to be close, but now we've slowly drifted apart. the only reason i hang out with them is cause i feel like i need to hold on to at least a few friends instead of having zero.....


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## Ceilidh

At least I'm not the only one .____. I used to try and convince myself that we were as close as ever but realised I was just kidding myself. I always think to myself that I've made three sets of new friends in four years so I can easily do it again, I just hate the start of friendships.

Kaye: I'm from South Wales  about 20 miles from Cardiff, where does your grandfather live?


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## Catching Fire

Me and my best friend also drifted apart in the last year and now he's kind of a jerk. Another of my friends started doing drugs and partying and now is an ******* who avoids me and thinks he's better then me. My other two friends are nice but I don't feel we really click so your not the only one.


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## Jumplittlelisa

I have been lucky enough to have the same best friend for 12 years. Aside from having so many idiosyncrasies in common, we both suffer from Anxiety and specifically SA. 

I can't say I've made good friends throughout high school and college though. I've met some people, but I find every excuse to not hang out with them. I don't really like them. They have no concept of life or the "real world". They live by means of their parents, and I just having nothing to say when I get around them. Also, I don't find criticizing people who are unlike you to be a funny thing.


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## Annyka

I know how you feel. I have just one friend. Or i don't even know can i call her my friend because we have never been very close. Still we have been friends since childhood in spite of that fact that we don't have anything in common. She's social and likes everything that i dislike. She doesn't understand me and my social anxiety and it really makes me hate her because she has always left me alone. She knows that i don't have friends expect her because of my SA but still she contacts me only then when her other friends aren't available. She doesn't care how it insults me.
And when we finally meet we don't have anything to talk about expect some 85629 years old things from comprehensive school. 
Meeting her always gets me so down that i have started to think why i even see her. Maybe i still somehow like her.


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## necropanda

I hate them too... I don't even want to call them my friends anymore because I dislike them so much, I cannot relate to them at all. I used to be best friends with this one girl, but I moved away for a year and she found a new friend. She is obviously way more happy with that girl than me, and the past couple of years we've slowly drifted apart and now I just hate them both.


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## gibbscindy

i have one problem with just one of my friends. i clearly cannot stand him. ive known him 2 years and we are best friends, but in the back of my mind i dont know why im even friends with him. the problem is i really hate him, i dont know why, i cant stand to be next to him or anything. he just really pisses me off, and i just cant explain it why.


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## loveiseverything

Yeah, totally agree. Friends can be so spacey, and i think a lot of it has to deal with social anxiety. Maybe we all see things in different perspectives then everyone else. But it deffinetly feels like friends are way to distant. I feel for you!


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## paulyD

Ceilidh said:


> I know the title sounds mean, but it's true /: me and my "best friend" have drifted apart so much this past year and it feels like he's a different person now. We have no similer interests, if we end up liking the same TV show I get really hyped up as we _finally _have something to talk about /:
> 
> The only reason I hang out with them anymore is because I'd prefer to have distant friends than no friends at all at the end of the day. I feel like I can't get any better ones.
> 
> Does anyone else ever feel this way around their "friends"?


 ive always hated any group of friends ive had. in highschool i used to hang around with 2 popular and socialable kids. i always felt extremely uncomfortable around them but they stook with me. i felt like i was holding them back though so one day i let them free and they went on to hang around with a massive group of people - all of the other socialable kids. i then started hanging around with these losers that i knew from primary school. they were all weird and we didnt have anything in common. i had the same interest as the socialable kids- i belonged with them but i couldnt relax around them. i had nothing in common with my new loser friends but i felt comfortable around them so thats were i stayed.

when i left highschool i joined a new group of freinds and hated them but again i felt comfortable around them so i stayed with them. i felt too uncomfortable around the people that i liked so i had to stick with people who if it werent for my anxiety i would never be friends with

my freinds have always been a group of people who dont fit in anywere else so they all come together cos theyve got nowere else to go or nothing better to do. that is a bad recipe for friendships. nobody wants to be with each other but they do so out of nessecity .

i see people now who are still together as friends, the same group of friends still together from over 10 years ago. thats becasue they were propper friends and they all liked each other. i havent seen any of my former friends for years and thats becasue we were never truly firends in the first place


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## Duane

Hating your friend because you've drifted apart due to lack of common interests is strange to me.


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## Mae West

Some of my friends are not as social as I would like them to be but who am I to judge? Nobody is perfect I'm sure I've done things to turn people off. I'm happy people stand by me despite this.


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## mewithoutYou

Yeah, I agree with you about disliking your friends. I've been "best friends" with my buddy for about 2 years now, and we live quite a while away (45 mins) but still I'd appreciate a call every once in a while, yet I don't receive one. My other buddy, he calls me literally just to brag about the time he spends with my other friends and I get so annoyed, called him out on it.. nothing. He didn't stop, so all I can think about is cutting them out of my life. All they do is upset me, ignore me, etc. so I don't see the point in keeping negative influences in my life if all they're going to do is treat me like some second-hand friend. (BTW, I'm new here as you can probably tell.. I recently just stumbled onto this forum as I too have social anxiety, my name is Jake. Greetings.  )


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## wishing on a star

same here.  me and my friend kinda drifted apart too. she always hangs out with her other two friends now, and sometimes i feel like she only talks to me when she's waiting for her other friends to come. and she acts differently around her other friends and i feel a bit left out in her little circle of friends. and i find it really uncomfortable to talk to her now, since she's changed so much and we're not as close as how we used to be. i dun like how she talks a lot and laugh a lot with her friends but not with me. it makes me feel like im such a boring person to hang out with.


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## northsea

wishing on a star said:


> same here.  me and my friend kinda drifted apart too. she always hangs out with her other two friends now, and sometimes i feel like she only talks to me when she's waiting for her other friends to come. and she acts differently around her other friends and i feel a bit left out in her little circle of friends. and i find it really uncomfortable to talk to her now, since she's changed so much and we're not as close as how we used to be. i dun like how she talks a lot and laugh a lot with her friends but not with me. it makes me feel like im such a boring person to hang out with.


omg are you me? That's the same exact situation I'm in, too. It's even worse for me because we used to be best friends and she was the only person besides my family I used to hang out regulary with. /;


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## wishing on a star

northsea said:


> omg are you me? That's the same exact situation I'm in, too. It's even worse for me because we used to be best friends and she was the only person besides my family I used to hang out regulary with. /;


:squeeze i can totally relate. most of my close friends have been like this, they talk to me heaps at the start, and then i dunno what happened, maybe they got bored or something, they just leave me to hang out with other ppl. it sucks. i thought i would get used to this, but it still hurts everytime. especially when i see them hving so much fun with their new friends and i cant really join in cuz most of the time i dun even know what they're talking about cuz i obviously wasnt there when it happened. 
yea it sucks even more when you get attached or like when you've told them about all your problems and stuff. it's like, did they even care in the first place? the sad thing is, people change, and we can't really do anything about it...but just hope for the best


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## ang

I really can relate. I hate my friends too. My husband is my best friend. I'm friends with my husband's wife, but she's bossy and needy. We don't have much in common, and she's smothering. Her only friends are me and this other girl whom my husband is friends with. This other girl whom my husband's friend's wife is also friends with, is nicer, but I don't connect with her well either. Both girls seem to talk to me about all their problems, but won't listen or understand mine. I've been friends with them for three years. My other friend, I've been friends with her for nine years, met her in college, but she's flakey. She has social anxiety too but it's like she doesn't understand the problems with my other friends and she gets caught up in her problems. Also my husband's friends' wife doesn't know this girl but doesn't like her 'cause she's flakey, and my husband doesn't like her either, that doesn't help. I'm very compassionate and will listen, but I feel bad when I see others who have friendships that are compatible and have that bond. I get jealous when I see comments on fb from my sister-in-law's best friend and "sister" since Kindergarden to my sister-in-law saying "I love you my BFF" or "I love you my girlfriend", it makes me want to have that friendship too. I used to have those kind of friendships, but my parents didn't like them so I couldn't hang out with them anymore, and now we haven't been talking for years because we've changed and the friendship was damaged. Glad I'm not the only one.


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## ang

haha I meant I'm friends with my husband's friend's wife.


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## NicoleDawson8

I feel the EXACT same way, but I don't have a problem with it. I prefer it.


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## Joe

I did when I actually went out with them 1-2 years ago. I knew some of them would act like ****s with me if they weren't friends with the people who I actually liked as they acted like dicks before they started hanging round them.


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## fire mage64

Ceilidh said:


> I know the title sounds mean, but it's true /: me and my "best friend" have drifted apart so much this past year and it feels like he's a different person now. We have no similer interests, if we end up liking the same TV show I get really hyped up as we _finally _have something to talk about /:
> 
> The only reason I hang out with them anymore is because I'd prefer to have distant friends than no friends at all at the end of the day. I feel like I can't get any better ones.
> 
> Does anyone else ever feel this way around their "friends"?


How did you find him as a friend? Perhaps you could use that same method to find others like you?


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## Deadalready

*Me too*

That's how I feel all the time around my friends now. We've started high school and now I just hate it. They never ask me to hang out with them anymore even though they hangout all the time. Their hanging out together right now actully.


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## Shack

I had the same situation by the time I was 15/16. By my final year in high school they had finally stopped calling me and I was glad. I can tell you these two things...

- There is no downside to ending the relationship and taking a greater control of your life. If you feel it's "right" to have a group of friends, it's not. Friendship is built on trust and positivity/liking each other. Being "friends" with them is wearing a mask, it's not you

- To me the single most important thing people with SA can do is to try and live with love and not hate towards people. It's not easy, but the next time you think negative people around these friends or others, give it a try to flip the switch and love the people around you. It might not work but keep it in your mind


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## burnsinside

you and me both.
someday soon i will punch someones teeth out


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## Cyclonic

I have mixed feelings about my friends.

We were a close knit group in high school and saw each other every day, which was nice. I've managed to stay relatively close to two of them since, with the rest I barely talk to (but if I ever saw them we'd catch up a bit). 

Going to school out of state sucked as far as friendships go (everything else was nice about living on my own), made a ton of friends my freshman year in Chicago and that was probably the height of my social life. People moving off campus along with a few rough events and just like that, all my college friends vanished by my junior year. I still keep in contact with one of them since moving back home but I'm sure the rest of my college "friends" don't even remember me anymore.

So with this in mind, I found it rather difficult to hang around friends in two distant cities. I grew further apart from my hometown friends along with the struggle to keep my college friends made me a total loner by my junior year.

So I've pretty much stuck with these three since graduating college, and I have to say I don't even feel close to them.

One lives in Chicago, so obviously I can only communicate from a distance

Among the remaining two
One works and goes to school and rarely has time to do anything, he used to go out with me on the weekends and we'd have fun but that hasn't happened much lately, I don't know if he's avoiding me or if he's just really busy...afraid to ask, not that I'd get a straight answer anyway

The last one is someone I was friends with in high school, I also got him a job where I work so I see him every day. However I always suspected that he has something of a double life, he never talks about it but it's obvious that he has two separate groups of friends.


I would like to meet new people, people that I can go out with and have fun but I really don't know how to do that. Making friends was easier in high school, sitting with each other all day it was easier to start something. In college, we all lived in the same dorm area and didn't know each other, which made it easy to get together, introduce ourselves, and have a good time. Now it just seems impossible to find people with my interests. I love dance clubs but I'm afraid to go up to a group of people and start talking with them.

TL;DR 
I'm holding onto old friends because I don't know a good way to make new ones


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## lizdecember

Madax said:


> I have mixed feelings about my friends.
> 
> We were a close knit group in high school and saw each other every day, which was nice. I've managed to stay relatively close to two of them since, with the rest I barely talk to (but if I ever saw them we'd catch up a bit).
> 
> Going to school out of state sucked as far as friendships go (everything else was nice about living on my own), made a ton of friends my freshman year in Chicago and that was probably the height of my social life. People moving off campus along with a few rough events and just like that, all my college friends vanished by my junior year. I still keep in contact with one of them since moving back home but I'm sure the rest of my college "friends" don't even remember me anymore.
> 
> So with this in mind, I found it rather difficult to hang around friends in two distant cities. I grew further apart from my hometown friends along with the struggle to keep my college friends made me a total loner by my junior year.
> 
> So I've pretty much stuck with these three since graduating college, and I have to say I don't even feel close to them.
> 
> One lives in Chicago, so obviously I can only communicate from a distance
> 
> Among the remaining two
> One works and goes to school and rarely has time to do anything, he used to go out with me on the weekends and we'd have fun but that hasn't happened much lately, I don't know if he's avoiding me or if he's just really busy...afraid to ask, not that I'd get a straight answer anyway
> 
> The last one is someone I was friends with in high school, I also got him a job where I work so I see him every day. However I always suspected that he has something of a double life, he never talks about it but it's obvious that he has two separate groups of friends.
> 
> I would like to meet new people, people that I can go out with and have fun but I really don't know how to do that. Making friends was easier in high school, sitting with each other all day it was easier to start something. In college, we all lived in the same dorm area and didn't know each other, which made it easy to get together, introduce ourselves, and have a good time. Now it just seems impossible to find people with my interests. I love dance clubs but I'm afraid to go up to a group of people and start talking with them.
> 
> TL;DR
> I'm holding onto old friends because I don't know a good way to make new ones


This is really close to my situation.I hung out with 2 friends from high school a lot but then i went to uni 2 1/2 hours away and they stayed home to go to CC. We didnt really keep in touch that much mainly because i had an awesome freshman year and made a bunch of friends and wanted to leave high school in the past altogether. But now, my junior year those friends have transferred or we drifted apart. This past summer i didnt hang out with my high school friends since we pretty much drifted apart, one of them was really controlling and bossy and the other one was too much of a follower. I think i officially have only one friend but she lives off campus and i only see her twice a week. My former friend is one of my roommates right now and even thought we live together i talk to her like once a week.

I think i might have to give my old high school friends a call because im so tired of my family asking, "why dont you have any friends?"


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## CrimsonTrigger

It happens unfortunately. The longest I ever had a friend was 4 years and I remember the exact moment when I realized that our friendship was effectively dead. I went over to his house and we didn't talk or do anything. He watched a tv show, I just sat there. I went home and we never talked or saw each other again. That ended 8 years ago. 

Unfortunately I may have been the one responsible for ruining it, due to some unfortunate social problems I was suffering with during that time by being influenced by my idiot cousin and living in a hostile family. Haven't really had any other friends since then.


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## SapphireMeadow

I don't exactly hate my friends, I just don't like the fact that they are so much work to keep in touch with :/ I guess that's why I'm down to two online friends OTL


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## Unkn0wn Pleasures

Not 'hate' but yeah I'm begining to think I don't want to be friends with them. Not that I really am nowadays (except for one). We have nothing in common; not just taste, but ideology, mindset etc. And to be honest I (hypocritically) resent them a little for never contacting me after they moved away. And I ****ing hate myself for it because we used to be pretty close and I always thought SO highly of them, hell I LOVE(D?) them.


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## roseta

my freinds are so ennoying they leave me out it there stupid "private" conversations and half of the time they talk about me.:mum

then i started to relise they had a tough background and they use to do all sorts to themselves.

i got the truth by lying! but i couldent wait any longer i had to hear the truth.

i know i am a b*** and a cow but they were makin me really upset but now i feal very guilty and a big cow


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## roseta

i am soo glad to take this out of my chest.  i love this website so much


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## Ninjagirl2211

I don't care if it sounds mean, I just hate him.
Self centered, the entire world revolves around him.
He's always negative about everything, and always talking about killing himself because the world is just "too much to bear." But he doesn't even try to help himself. Believe me, I've been there. I even tried to end my own pathetic existence, but you know what? I. Got. Over. It. Because I'm strong, and I've grown as a person. He takes none of this into account, and acts as if I'm some stranger who doesn't know anything when I try to help him. He shoots himself in the foot and he doesn't even realize it, or he refuses to. It's like he _wants_ to be miserable in order to make his life seem more interesting to everyone else. I don't know if it's for attention, or if he even realizes he's got a problem. He absolutely refuses to see a certified professional, no matter how many times I've _begged_ him to. It's mentally exhausting just being around him. How can you be friends with someone who absolutely refuses to get better, and absolutely refuses to think about anyone but himself? I can't deal with it, and I won't. 
I hate him, and he's not my friend anymore. I finally came to the resolution.
I don't even care if he offs himself anymore.
He'd be doing the world a favor. :flush

Now it's time to start looking for better friends...
Why does it have to be so ****ing hard?


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## TheShadowAngel

wishing on a star said:


> same here.  me and my friend kinda drifted apart too. she always hangs out with her other two friends now, and sometimes i feel like she only talks to me when she's waiting for her other friends to come. and she acts differently around her other friends and i feel a bit left out in her little circle of friends. and i find it really uncomfortable to talk to her now, since she's changed so much and we're not as close as how we used to be. i dun like how she talks a lot and laugh a lot with her friends but not with me. it makes me feel like im such a boring person to hang out with.


i'm in the exact same situation. she ignores me most of the time and hangs out with my other friends without me. i get really depressed when they talk about all the fun things they did together in the weekend when i was not invited. i hate the way my "friend" looks at me, like i'm just a piece of **** under her shoe and the fact that she never talks to me, but laughs and smiles with my other friends makes me feel like i'm the problem and it' s all my fault. i've tried to give her space and i have tried to be friendly and all smiles even when she is mean, but nothing works. 
the fact that my friends are excluding me from the group have made me very depressed and lonely. and i constantly ask myself what i have done wrong, i have confronted them on it but they just gave my lame excuses (lies) explaining why they couldn't hang out with me, and then they went behind my back and told everybody what a drama queen i was, even though i did not scream at them or accused them in any way, i just asked the question.


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## The Sleeping Dragon

Ceilidh said:


> The only reason I hang out with them anymore is because I'd prefer to have distant friends than no friends at all at the end of the day. I feel like I can't get any better ones.
> 
> Does anyone else ever feel this way around their "friends"?


Yes I know the feeling with one particular friend. I guess it just happens that people drift apart. Not everybody grows at the same rate. I think it is pretty normal. The problem with us it though that we don't make new friends very well at all so we just stick with what we have.


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## sharmus

in progress.

realising they don't really like me and slowly alienating myself.
wondering if I am sane.
the usual.


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## SquidVicious

*I know how you feel.*

I've often said the same thing in a quasi-joking manner, but deep down I know it's true.
It hadn't always been the case, but people change, and after a while old friends might not cut the mustard.

Here's to hoping we all can surround ourselves with worthwhile company.


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## Mur

I wouldn't say hate but I get the faint impression that some of them don't really care for me all that much, like I'm more of a burden than anything. It sucks when your friends go out and do fun stuff and rarely invite you along, it sucks even more when you do go along and they talk amongst themselves and talk over you and dismiss what you're saying when you actually do chime in. The thing that really gets me is when they call you quiet after all of this, it makes my blood boil.


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## peach123

Notus said:


> I wouldn't say hate but I get the faint impression that some of them don't really care for me all that much, like I'm more of a burden than anything. It sucks when your friends go out and do fun stuff and rarely invite you along, it sucks even more when you do go along and they talk amongst themselves and talk over you and dismiss what you're saying when you actually do chime in. The thing that really gets me is when they call you quiet after all of this, it makes my blood boil.


Now I have experienced this, first of all, I don't have a best friend, my mother who passed away was the closest that I ever had to a best friend, I could trust her, she supported me in the decisions I made even if she didn't agree with them, she listened to me when I was upset and she loved and cared about me. I miss her very much. I have coworkers who do what you describe, they are closer because they have experienced similar things and I am not as close, sometimes they leave me out of the conversation because they feel that I can't relate the way they can. When I try to chime in, they do dismiss what I am saying because they feel that I can't relate. And yes, I am the quietest one in the group. I am quiet because I don't contribute because when I do, my opinion is not listened to because the coworkers' feel that because I don't have a man or a social life that I don't know much about different things. It makes me mad as well.


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## bestgal

Yeah I know what you mean. I don't really hate them but I hate the fact that they don't make an effort with me. However I should be grateful because without them I would never leave the house except for work.


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## ineedtomove

hey ceil, I know how you're feeling. I have a friend who i've known for years and years now and over time he has become an ******* while i have tended to be the same person due probably to my social anxiety. Nontheless we nearly kill eachother on a regular basis and i know it isnt a good idea being friends anymore as we constantely get into fights and literally are 1 word away from punching the other in the face, we do get in fights but we have yet to get violent like we would if we were being attacked by a mugger for example. Anyways i plan to cut contact with him as soon as this year ends and i go to college. I suggest you do the same. I believe especially for people with SA like ourselves that being too close to someone can be negative and we need to space ourselves from people a little because if we dont we end up creating bad tension.


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## alexgomez

I have had the same group of friends since high school. A few of them since middle school. lately I feel that the friendship I thought was there, was just a fabrication in my mind. I have become the "friend" that you hang out with when you have nothing better to do. If its going to my kids or wife's birthday party during the day, sure, they are there! If it is going to chilis or outback around 5 or six for a bite, sure they are there! But as for hanging out, going for drinks, having a "blast" and all of that? No. This makes it even more awkward and kinda depressing for me when we do get together and they start recounting the great time they had the night before, a mile or two from my house. Or when the photos and check in's start to pop up on facebook. I've tried to tell myself it's because I have kids, or maybe they don't ask because they think i wont have time, or whatever other excuse my wife might try to contribute to justify their actions and their lack of interest in me. Or why they don't text me, but text her. (we have the same friends). This was the reason I didn't have a 29th birthday dinner, because in my mind, I could not justify sitting around with 15 people for a night, acting as though they cared about me, and then the next day I would just go back to fading into the background again. It is the same reason I will not be having a 30th either. I feel my only option is to break from that group. I should have better self esteem. I should realize that I am valuable, that I am funny and can have a blast too, I just have to stop trying to look for acceptance from people who no longer appreciate me, if your reading this, maybe that will work for you too.....I start grad school in the fall, hopefully I can make new friends there.


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## Salad Chicken

*Me too, weird.*

I felt compelled to type into Google, "why do I dislike my friends?" and literally stumbled on this page, read through what you guys wrote and signed up straight away. I don't think I suffer from social anxiety as such but I've had this feeling for a few years now - I just don't like my friends. Maybe I'm just going through a rough patch in my life. Depression from work really added to it. As work is probably the biggest part of your life, make sure it's something you enjoy. If the biggest part of your life revolves around negativity and resentment, it's likely it'll have a knock-on effect in your social/personal life too without you knowing.
Ok, a little about me: I consider myself a very nice person. I'm always willing to put myself out for others more so than they would ever do for me. I don't do it for credit or to be liked. It's just a nice thing to do - helping makes me feel good. I point the finger at myself too, thinking, "Do I appear lame to these people?" With most of my friends, I feel they're afraid to let their guard down and just be nice. Like they're afraid to show weakness - this is what I hate in people. I never mock people or openly embarrass someone for a laugh, or shoot someone's opinions down, I'd either agree to pacify and laugh off any absurdities or just say I disagree and give my opinion. I would, however, point and laugh if one of them slipped on dog**** and landed face-first in a bucket of extremely concentrated urine and encourage the rest of the group to laugh with me. But other than that, it never needs to get either clicky or heated for me. Maybe I come across lame, being boring - although I think my thinking is very out of the box, challenging and humorous - or the fact that I'm constantly thinking I'm gonna be mocked or oppressed in the group, I automatically send an invisible vibe amongst the group or say something that I subconsciously know will trigger an unnecessary comment from them, strengthening my viewpoint...? Hmmm..
Another thing about me is that I'm pretty well known and respected in my line of work (worldwide). There may be a pinch of jealousy that we're all in a similar line but I exceeded them while they stayed in the same boat. This makes me think that they cling together and say the things they do behind my back and sly digs to my face because it gives them a sense of satisfaction in the shape of their own unity.
I have so much more to say on the subject of loneliness... Don't get me started on the state of the world today. I'm sure I'll be back to say it anyway. Thanks for reading, whoever took the time to hear me.


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## Salad Chicken

*To AlexGomez*

Alex I hear you bro. It's not nice that you get sidestepped via your wife like that and left out of a plan that's just by your house. My honest advice is for you to concentrate on your life and make something amazing of it. If you have any hidden talents let them surface. Take up a hobby, join a club and it's great that you're going to grad school.
Don't take that stuff too hard dude. You seem like you're better than that. Stay friends with them and see them whenever you feel like it, not on the off-chance when they invite you.
I had the same issue with my best friend recently. All the way through my year at college, not once did he wish me luck for exams or asked me how it was. I picked him up on it in a serious way and never said another word about it after as I didn't want it to be an on-going issue. He now asks about my life and shows more of an interest in what I do. I now have the choice whether I care or not to see him considering it went on for so many years of such a neglectful, one-sided friendship. I still respect him as a friend but I know where we both stand and I'm fine with that now.

If you make it an issue, you'll outcast yourself further than you feel already, bro. Just go to school, make some new friends and enjoy a new leaf 
You have a wife and kid(s). That's something to admire for those who don't have that.

You are not a slave to anyone. Enjoy your life as much as you can dude


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## ReneDelacroix

Hi, long reader of the forum, but i've signed up due to having a specific question to ask which i can't find a matching scenario for.

Basically, i'm a 20 year old male and i have spent the last year or so solidly with 2 people. One is a 23 year old male, the other a 20 year old female, i have a fair bit in common with both; my way of thinking is similar to the 23 year old male, and my music taste/media interests are similar to the 20 year old female. Recently, however, i have grown a strong hatred at times for them both.

It's a number of things seemingly. At times i feel isolated from them, in the sense that i feel they value eachother higher than me, and that their relationship is stronger. Of course i have no evidence that this is the case but that's just how i feel. I just feel like i'm not involved when i'm with them sometimes, and their topics of discussion and mannerism really grind on me and i usually just want to go home when i'm with them, but i don't want them to think there's something wrong whilst i'm still trying to get my head around it.

I just think it's a strange one, as i know they're decent people overall who i get on with for the most part, but i just want to know if there's a logical, rational explanation for this hatred i have for aspects of them at times (fairly frequent recently).


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## Imni

I know exactly how you feel. At first it was the little things like not hanging out as much as we used to or not talking for long periods at a time. You figure the other person is just busy, you don't want to bother them. Then you realize that you're actually drifting apart and that this "best friend" of yours is becoming more and more of a stranger and it sucks and you wish things were like they used to be. And you can't help to be angry and sad and rather quite annoyed with them. That's what I'm going through anyway and the friendship is just really strained because I'm pretty sure she thinks that nothing has changed, but everything has and I don't see us being friends anymore.


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## Tomojo

*Understandable*

I hate my former friends too. I suffered through a pretty horrible time, and despite promises that they would stand by me, they all became intolerable. I was with someone who caused me to have anxiety attacks with their drunken, obnoxious, behavior. These friends knew this, and when things finally split (rather awfully), I received reassurances that they understood and how close they were to me. Nine months on, they've all gone back on what they said, and I've had to cut off every last one of them. It's very difficult, as we were extraordinarily close, and we did many things as a group over the past few years. I've tried to explain my point of view, but it gets me no where. I do miss them, and often I feel as though I've lost the vast majority of my friends because of the utter disregard of one other person I used trust more than anyone else. I work with one of them, and they seem to make a point of sharing things with others in front of me, while not acknowledging me. It can make for a very difficult work day. I'm writing to thank others for sharing their experiences, as it helps not to regard myself as utterly irrational in these feelings. Thank you for reading.


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## SpiderInTheCorner

I was the one to push everyone away because of internet and video games. But from the childhood I was never that interested in having friends I just wanted to fit in with the rest of the society. To exist but to be just like others and not to be singled out for any reason.
Unfortunately I was back then and even now I stand out even more. Looks matter a lot in todays world and that will only get worse over time. Same goes for stereotypes.


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## Gamaur

Is this thread coming up in a search of some kind?


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## Valtron

I know it's bad to ignore your friends once you get into a relationship, but honestly, having a boyfriend who I have so much in common with personality-wise has made me realize how little in common I have with my other friends. My closest friend I've known since I was 8 years old, but the only thing we truly have in common is that we both like Pokemon. We have completely opposite tastes in pretty much everything. We're also political opposites, which is frustrating since she always wants to talk about politics. I realize that she was the only real friend I've ever had, and she's not really that great of a friend. Also, part of it is, she lives 30 minutes away. I really only see her once or twice a month. When we do hang out, all we do is sit around and watch tv. It's boring. So I have no motivation to drive over there and sit in an hour of 405 freeway traffic on the way back.

My boyfriend is the friend I've always wanted, and he lives less than 10 minutes away. He and my brother are the only two people I really wish to hang with anymore. :stu I feel like a d***.


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## ShocqueAnafalectique

*that is a selfish thing to say. Selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish*


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## XxDragonking12

*So do I*

I also hate my friend. I never used to hate him but now he just sucks. I met him last year and back then he was nice. He was fun and funny. Later he just changed. He had been changing ever since I first met him. Now he is a douchebag. He gets mad over little things, gets in fights, and thinks he is the best. From fun to a douche. Once he flips out over a pen and how I didn't let him have it. So in class i have a pen on my desk. Then he takes it. I ask him but he just says "this is my pen" he was joking then when he gives it back he says. "I'm not your friend anymore." Also we were playing rugby outside. Just because I didn't block somebody once he pushes me. At the end we were tied I think but he says to one of his other friends that he did good for making a touchdown. And then he says I suck because I didn't make one?!? Really!? Then I said he never passed to me but he just replies saying I could have asked. I was open....ALOT! So then he starts doubting my football skills when i played and then I thought. "This guy is an ***" I hate how he thinks he is so cool and tough. He cheats, and he is not tough, not even close. He may weigh more but I am stronger. Once we played 1v1 football and he begins to tackle me. Thing is I'm still standing and I make a touchdown. And once he sprained his leg he starts crying. That was before I sprained mine so I thought it hurt but when I sprained mine it didn't hurt at all! Don't even get me started on his other friend! He is just an enabler and a follower. He has no personality at all. Just does what my *** friend does. At least my douchebag friend has a personality. I forgot to mention he curses and thinks he is badass.

Well that wraps it up. I live in California and that might be why he acts all douchey. My other true friends think most of this too.


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## Seuss

"Be slow to fall into friendship, but when you are in, continue firm and constant." -Socrates


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## connor91

At least you have 'distant' friends. I literally have no friends at all all due to my SA. It sucks so bad when I see people laughing together enjoying themselves and I'm just on my own, depressed.


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## handsup

Me too. Some of them are good although they are strange, so I don't hate them but don't want to hang out with them all the time though.


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## Kilgore Trout

I have 3 close friends and i hate all three of them. One of them has some beliefs that are 100% against mine. I do my best to avoid talking about those issues to maintain our friendship. 
The other one is an ******* that just doesn't give a **** about anyone and it seems only thing he cares about is his girlfriend. 
And the third one is a psychopath.
The only reason i'm hanging out with them is that i want to have some friends and socialize. I fear of becoming totally isolated from society and real life.


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## handsup

pouria19 said:


> I have 3 close friends and i hate all three of them. One of them has some beliefs that are 100% against mine. I do my best to avoid talking about those issues to maintain our friendship.
> The other one is an ******* that just doesn't give a **** about anyone and it seems only thing he cares about is his girlfriend.
> And the third one is a psychopath.
> The only reason i'm hanging out with them is that i want to have some friends and socialize. I fear of becoming totally isolated from society and real life.


Same here man, look at this:
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f257/have-you-ever-had-a-normal-friend-1287130/


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## shelless

I have one close friend, but I can't call him a best friend because I just don't like him very much. I don't hate him, because he is a nice person and he never gave me a reason to hate him, but we just have 0 matching beliefs. Whenever I talk about things I am passionate about I can tell he doesn't even get what I'm talking about. He is usually very preachy and explains even things that he doesn't fully understand or that I understand better than him, even when I tell him that. He seems completely unable to grasp the concept of discussion.

The only reason why we aren't "closer" (well, in his eyes) is that I keep our closeness sort of proportionate to how much I like him. I don't want to be his friend at all, but I've spent most of my life completely alone and I'm scared of going back to that. I'm pretty sure if we both had people who "got" us we would have stopped bothering with each-other a long time ago.


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