# My Sister- High Maintenance and Laying Guilt Trip



## Conquer Fear (Aug 11, 2013)

Basically, I have little to no contact with my sister, we didn't get along as kids because she was high maintenance and spoiled and demanded all the attention and I became an outsider... she was super good in school and had tons of friends, I didn't. 

Basically, I tried for the last like 20 years to rebuild our relationship... she basically just strings me along saying like every 3 months, "how are you, it was so nice to see you!" and all this phony stuff....but never invites me to anything... or initiates seeing me... she lives in Cali for about 7 years but even before that.... 

So she is deaf and her boyfriend has health issues, so I E-mail her saying why did she tell me to get Skype so we could talk regularly, which she was telling me all year...ordered the stupid thing and spent hours setting it up... then I don't hear from her for months... like why get my hopes up? it is one excuse after another for like 20 years... 

So she says "I am very upset that you are saying this, James is sick and you E-mailed me now this is very inconsiderate and you are being demanding and sound angry in E-mails" I sent other E-mails in the past with specific problems to work things out and her only response is, "I love you and it upsets me when you say that"

So I say, "I prefaced every E-mail I wrote with, 'I'm sorry James is sick, and I know you are going through a hard time, but at the same time...'" etc. I just wanted to be in contact with you, that has nothing to do with being demanding" and "how specifically do i sound angry? We basically E-mail like 3 or 4 times a year" and I said, "don't lay a guilt trip on me"

Basically I am sick of her stringing me along... she freaking told me she wanted to skype all year, and apologize for not being in touch... if she freaking hates me, don't "act phony and friendly" and put on a show...

Exhausting, and I don't even know why I care... I basically see her once a year over the holidays... I would almost rather she say, "I hate you for this reason and that reason" than all her phony politeness...

I just hate fake people in general... because you don't know where you stand with them.


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## ASB20 (Jun 5, 2013)

Sounds like she just needs to be ignored.

Seriously, she's screwin' with you. You're doing everything she asks, as you said, and she's just out there on a whim. You don't have to waste time on people like that, family or not. Blood be damned.

Best option for your own health is to go your own way. Your past relationship's already rocky because of her actions and she's seemingly in no hurry to act nice...no reason to keep it up.


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## Conquer Fear (Aug 11, 2013)

You are right, thanks a lot for clearing it up in my head... she definately is ****ing with me, intentionally or not... 

I kinda learned that more now as I get older, everything seems to be a test, women, friends, you have to always be on guard, or they will walk all over you, or lose respect for you...

With family, I tend to try to be more patient, overly freaking patient... I have problems with other family members too, because in recent years I just opened my eyes to their manipulative games...

For those with tight families, more power to you, this is just my experience.


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## Conquer Fear (Aug 11, 2013)

Update: she wrote a VERY brief E-mail after my long-a*s involved E-mail... she basically just said, "Thank you so much for the kind wishes," blah blah blah...."I didn't mean to lay a guilt trip on you" then said she "guesses she is just very sensitive to anything right now based on what she is going through" She then said how much she "loves and cares for me."

She basically was overly polite almost to the point of phonyness, and again didn't really address anything I was saying in the E-mail, especially about wanting to stay in contact with her. 

I ignored the E-mail, this was a few days ago, I swear if she wasn't blood I would not have even given a flying f**k in the first place.


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