# Big Time Epipheny about "social anxiety" and also the negative aspect of CBT,Recovery



## SolaceChaser (Jun 8, 2009)

*Big Time Epipheny about "social anxiety" and also the negative aspect of CBT,Recovery*

Well, it might not be a surprise to all of you that thinking about the social anxiety does no good, but this can be very pervasive. As I am getting more and more social, I am becoming aware that the less and less I am aware of sa, the more I don't give a **** and feel freer. We have a way of labeling it to our identity constantly and its time we brushed this irrational, bull**** off us. Thinking about other things, even if you dont feel like it at the time ALWAYS brings you to your center.

Now, those of us going through CBT (especially Dr. Richard's overcomming social anxiety which the title I think could have been more refined) are CONSTANTLY reminded of such a thing as "social anxiety." I used to center my life around social anxiety (as many of you might as well), by meditating to let go of my _social anxiety_, by doing CBT to overcome _social anxiety_, by exercising to defeat my _social anxiety_, etc. etc. I hope you get where I am comming from. We constantly remind ourselves of it, even with good intentions and build up this monster in our minds...

So recently this is becoming more evident to me, so I just remind myself that I am not doing CBT to free me of social anxiety, I am doing it to be calmer, I am exercising for my health, I am doing all these things for me and not the anxiety.

Anyone ever get this picture I'm trying to portray?


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## socially inept (Mar 6, 2009)

SolaceChaser said:


> Well, it might not be a surprise to all of you that thinking about the social anxiety does no good, but this can be very pervasive. As I am getting more and more social, I am becoming aware that the less and less I am aware of sa, the more I don't give a **** and feel freer. We have a way of labeling it to our identity constantly and its time we brushed this irrational, bull**** off us. Thinking about other things, even if you dont feel like it at the time ALWAYS brings you to your center.
> 
> Now, those of us going through CBT (especially Dr. Richard's overcomming social anxiety which the title I think could have been more refined) are CONSTANTLY reminded of such a thing as "social anxiety." I used to center my life around social anxiety (as many of you might as well), by meditating to let go of my _social anxiety_, by doing CBT to overcome _social anxiety_, by exercising to defeat my _social anxiety_, etc. etc. I hope you get where I am comming from. We constantly remind ourselves of it, even with good intentions and build up this monster in our minds...
> 
> ...


you always get more of what you focus on

thats why when people set goals its always in the positive . e.g you would nt say ''to not be fat any more by 31st december 2009'' '' you would say '' to be slim by 31st december 2009''


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## djr86 (Jul 23, 2009)

I agree. Whenever I am about to do something that may trigger my SA, I try to just do it real quick before I wait and think about it too much. If I wait and think too long my SA gets so much worse and out of control. My motto is becoming "Just Do It"--kinda like Nike.


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## ~Jessie~ (Jan 22, 2007)

I get it and agree. I've been thinking the same thing although I've started looking at it as just normal part of life that I need to overcome for my health and well-being. I already acknowledged and openingly admit and talk about it to others. I'm finding if I try to use the self-help stuff or any form of therapy FOR the social anxiety - it seems to get worse for me. 

So I just have been ignoring that side of the anxiety and working on other areas of my life and I feel like I'm making some positive progress rather than solely working on just the SA. And I do CBT and looking into starting EFT as well. I'm not sure if that made sense. I don't look at it as social anxiety anymore, even though I know that is what it is. I refer to it as just anxiety I have, difficult communicating to others that I would like to work on overcoming it a little more. Its helped quite a lot for myself and the people around me who know my issue quite well.


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## kaye (Oct 14, 2008)

Yes I believe it is true what you focus on you "manifest." So thinking always about SA can be a bad thing. It's good to become aware that something is happening, but then to be able to move beyond it. Not to stay stuck in it.


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## SolaceChaser (Jun 8, 2009)

Yep... It's like the social skill is one aspect of the whole game of life. Now, I look at it like...

for example, in basketball, most people use one of their hands to dribble for the majority of the time, but there are some ballers who practice persistently with their left (if theyre right handed e.g.) when they are _initially_ weak with it. This helps them become a more rounded, better, stronger player. So I look at social anxiety the same way. Everyone has atleast some degree of that _weakness_ in them right, but I am just working on this weakness of mine, turning into strength so I can be a more balanced, stronger person.


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## meyaj (Sep 5, 2009)

I don't know... it sounds more like being a hypochondriac to me.

SA has been something I've been dealing with since I was around 10 years old, and something I've only used as a label since around my 22nd birthday. It's something I always figured would resolve itself if I just ignored it (and I did), but no, it only got worse and worse.

I'm sure there are lots of people who have dealt with this **** for a long time before considering themselves a social phobic. If your problem can be solved by simply pretending you don't have a problem, then I don't think you have much of a problem to begin with.

But hey, if "The Secret" works for you, that's great, move on.


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## b8ts (Sep 17, 2009)

Hello, i agree with the last post, if it was something that would go away by simply ignoring it, it would have gone away a long time ago. I have tried many times over many years to ignore anxiety attacks or tell myself just to "suck it up you p****" and get over it but the automatic "fight or flight" response kicks in when in an uncomfortable situation. Paradoxically, i also agree that dwelling on the issue to much turns it into a monster by feeding on itself, so as with most things in life it's very ironic.

Shawn


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## liarsclub (Aug 23, 2008)

djr86 said:


> I agree. Whenever I am about to do something that may trigger my SA, I try to just do it real quick before I wait and think about it too much. If I wait and think too long my SA gets so much worse and out of control. My motto is becoming "Just Do It"--kinda like Nike.


That is very, very true. The less thinking I do, the less less chance I have of building things up in my head. When I confront difficult situations it's almost like I have to deny that it's even happening.


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