# Cognitive behavioral therapy



## albert3232 (Jan 31, 2015)

what do they make you do in CBT for social anxiety?


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## jumpstart (Feb 6, 2015)

It's about doing something in public without giving a damn. Something that you are scared of doing like randomly dancing or shouting in public. I'm planning on doing this myself but I always ***** out.


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## mondohughes (Jul 19, 2014)

From my experience it is mostly putting yourself in situations that you are uncomfortable with and learning what to do in those situations.


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## rubyruby (Jun 17, 2009)

But isn't grade school, high school or working every day exposure therapy.


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## Pancho35 (Nov 28, 2014)

rubyruby said:


> But isn't grade school, high school or working every day exposure therapy.


No.

People always misunderstand the key part when describing exposure therapy.

Exposure therapy involves becoming desensitized to your fear of people. This happens when a person forces himself into a fear situation AND they find out that the perceived irrational fear was truly nothing to be fearful about

For example. You're afraid of going on dates with a girls. You had a bad experience when you were a kid or something and you are afraid girls would harshly reject you and call you a loser. You go on a date for exposure. They girl is nice to you. Hopefully she gives you her number. If not, she will just want to be friends but be nice about it and not go psycho. This experience will desensitize you since your fear didn't come true.

HOWEVER. You go on a date with some super hot chick. Then she tells you you are fat ugly pathetic loser, and that there was no way she or anyone else would ever touch you with a fifty foot pole. Then she laughs at you and goes home and posts a joke about you on Facebook. This experience would reaffirm your fears. You would become even more scared. This has the opposite effect of desensitization. Traumatization.

When you went to school in grade school and high school that wasn't exposure therapy lol. Back then people made fun of you all of the time. You couldn't get a date. And regardless your self-esteem was so messed up that you lost your sense of being able to tell between true insults and failure and mere paranoia. You had a fear of people in high school, and the reason for your fears were actually there.


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## spaul (Oct 14, 2014)

they teach you how to cope with a wide range of aspects related to social anxiety. When you put all the techniques together, it can change things alot and may reduce your social anxiety. It certainly has for me.


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## rubyruby (Jun 17, 2009)

To pancho35





I get confused. If you are advocating exposure therapy in this post why are you advocating benzo use and alcohol in another post.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Usually you're able to rant and ***** about what's going wrong in your life. And the therapist helps you think less negatively by exposing you to different coping strategies. If you have a specific problem they try to analyze and break it down with you to make the problem look smaller than you make it out to be.


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## Pancho35 (Nov 28, 2014)

rubyruby said:


> To pancho35
> 
> I get confused. If you are advocating exposure therapy in this post why are you advocating benzo use and alcohol in another post.


Yes. I'm not sure I understand the point you are trying to make?


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## Triumph (Jan 16, 2015)

Pancho35 said:


> No.
> HOWEVER. You go on a date with some super hot chick. Then she tells you you are fat ugly pathetic loser, and that there was no way she or anyone else would ever touch you with a fifty foot pole. Then she laughs at you and goes home and posts a joke about you on Facebook. This experience would reaffirm your fears. You would become even more scared. This has the opposite effect of desensitization. Traumatization.


The mistake here is that you're focusing on externals. If your self esteem is based on externals as a foundation, then you're setting yourself up to crash. Instead, realize that no matter what happens to you, how old you get, what you look like, what others think of you, rich or poor, your core self will always be worthy and equal to everyone else. You need to brainwash this into your mind.
I think anyone working through SA with CBT or anything else needs to work on their self esteem at the same time. Self esteem is almost always low in people with SA. It's a chicken or the egg scenario, one has caused the other. And both must be healed.


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## Pancho35 (Nov 28, 2014)

Triumph said:


> The mistake here is that you're focusing on externals. If your self esteem is based on externals as a foundation, then you're setting yourself up to crash. Instead, realize that no matter what happens to you, how old you get, what you look like, what others think of you, rich or poor, your core self will always be worthy and equal to everyone else. You need to brainwash this into your mind.
> I think anyone working through SA with CBT or anything else needs to work on their self esteem at the same time. Self esteem is almost always low in people with SA. It's a chicken or the egg scenario, one has caused the other. And both must be healed.


But self-esteem and confidence are based on externals. They always have been. People have never just willed confidence or self-esteem. They come from successful experiences.

This is the reason why exposure is taken in baby steps.


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## Triumph (Jan 16, 2015)

Pancho35 said:


> But self-esteem and confidence are based on externals. They always have been. People have never just willed confidence or self-esteem. They come from successful experiences.
> 
> This is the reason why exposure is taken in baby steps.


Not at all. You need to understand this basic principle or your self esteem will continue to go up and down like a yoyo. Obviously you can't just will this change. One needs to learn the kind of self talk that supports the self rather than the kind that hurts it. It took years for you to brainwash yourself to make your self esteem low, but it won't take years to reverse the process, only months if you are diligent. 
Exposure alone is not going to fix your problem. If this were the case we would probably never have this disorder. A different frame of mind is what is necessary and is what makes a lasting change. Exposure is only a test to give confidence that the new ideas have been planted and taken root.


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## Choci Loni (May 12, 2011)

CBT, as the name implies, draws from both the cognitive and behaviouristic schools of psychology. So apart from exposure it's about becoming aware of the cognitive processes involved when anxiety arises for example. It's harder to give concrete examples of how the cognitive aspect is implemented, and it varies a lot. Usually it's about identifying the feelings and thoughts you experience in certain situations. That's the prerequisite for being able to applying the different tools you've learned to cope with the situation.

A personal example would be how I've practiced reacting to the thought that the other person thinks I'm annoying when I'm in a conversation with them. Once I get that thought, ideally I remember how it's a product of my anxiety and that I'm just projecting my own insecurity. It probably has nothing to do with what signals the other person is actually giving me, and when I've remembered this I can usually see that the thought had quite little to do with reality. Then I feel less anxious and I'm more able to focus on the conversation rather than myself.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

You set small goals and work your way up. You celebrate all of your achievements and be positive.


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## Caedmon (Dec 14, 2003)

What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Mental Health Videos with Kati Morton


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