# R.I.P. To Former S.A.S. Member Adam aka "Burning Gojira" and "Gojira"



## vsaxena (Apr 17, 2015)

When I got home from the gym today, I found out that a quality friend of mine with social anxiety and possibly Asperger's (he spoke of it at times) committed suicide a few weeks ago. I met him on the Social Anxiety Support website last year, and he later joined my social anxiety Skype group, where he often expressed his deep frustration about being discounted, marginalized, ostracized and essentially treated like garbage by everyone from his employers to his one former gf, who frankly screwed him over big time. Suffice it to say, Adam suffered a lot in his life.










Adam, aka "Burning Gojira," and "Gojira," reminded me so much of myself at that age -- jumping from crappy job to crappy job, being looked at by women as nothing but filth and feeling like there was nothing on Earth to live for, unless you count eating and sleeping. He felt like garbage, and sadly, that feeling eventually overcame him, leading him to commit suicide on April 27. For weeks we wondered why he wasn't saying anything on Skype -- why his profile was in a perpetual "idle" state. Now we know.

It saddens me to know that he is gone, though it also inspires me to fight that much harder on behalf of men like him.

This brings me to conservative political commentator Milo Yiannopoulos, who did a wonderful podcast about contemporary masculinity last week where he said the following:



> Many [men] feel hopelessly lost ... you'll say something like this, trying to be sensitive, compassionate and real, and feminists, in their infinite and boundless sociopathy, will come back and say, 'Lonely, basement-dwelling neck-beards ... who gives a toss? Who cares? Good riddance!'
> 
> ... But I care, and I think we should all care about men who feel this way, and by the way, it isn't just your stereotypical, marginalized autistic young guy. There are handsome, athletic, successful, smart men who are similarly just so completely alienated and bewildered and lost.


Adam was admittedly one of the "stereotypical, marginalized autistic young [guys]," and while his life may not have mattered to some, it mattered to us, his brothers, who were always willing to offer him support in his many hours of need.

Speaking of which, during Milo's podcast, author Jack Donovan talked about how men need tribalism, i.e., they need to be part of male groups where they can freely share their thoughts, ideas, pains, tribulations, etc.

Ironically, since starting my Skype group, I have received backlash from some S.A.S. users who have have accused me of being a "sexist," a "misogynist" and a "woman hater" for simply allowing men to congregate and speak their minds without any "social justice" censorship rules in place.

Well, you know what? I am glad as hell that I allowed Adam to share his thoughts and reveal to all of us the hell he had endured in his life, as well as his staunch support for men's rights activism. Others may have viewed him as a "bitter loser" and "resentful disgrace," but to us, he was a brother -- one whose memory we intend to preserve til our own time on this planet comes to an end.

"Gogira," my homie, I hope you find much more love, respect and comfort in the afterlife than you ever found in this barren place. We will miss you and especially your nonstop stream of funny jokes. But more than that, we will continue fighting on behalf of men like you and men like us -- men with social anxiety, autism, etc. who just want to be heard and have their pain be acknowledged.

R.I.P. Adam, and I hope this tribute makes you happy. I tried my best, and I know you considered me to be an amazing writer, but honestly, you deserved better than an amateur like me!

Sincerely,
V Saxena

//

_Feel free to post your own thoughts on this thread, but PLEASE refrain from either replying directly to me or quoting me, as I intend to just walk away from this post, lest I lose my temper on people._

_Note to mods: If you need to relocate this thread to another section, please feel free to do as such. Thank you!_


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

Aww, ****, that's sad. I remember that guy, he joined around the time I did I think, we argued a lot before he left.


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, but using his death as a soapbox is distasteful.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Well, that sucks. I didn't know him all that well and didn't really agree with him (as near as I could tell) on many things but I'm sorry to hear about it.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

I'm really shocked and saddened to here this - what terrible news. I remember this young man - he was often very difficult to deal with and had some unusual views.

He often wrote about how alone he was though and it's terribly sad that it came to this. RIP


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## AllTheSame (Mar 19, 2016)

I vaguely remember him. I'm pretty sure we never talked at all. Very, very sad news. I lost a girlfriend to suicide four years ago, so I know all too well that suicide leaves a hole in your soul, a dagger in your heart unlike anything else you can ever experience. It never, ever goes away...the guilt I feel for not having "saved" my gf, the self-blame, the self-hate, the rewinding the day before in my mind, wondering for the billionth time what I could have done different, the nightmares, night terrors, the PTSD and flashbacks, the depression that is never, ever going to end no matter how many pills I swallow, no matter how many therapy sessions I go to.

To everyone that knew him and called him a friend, I'm very sorry for your loss. I really hope the friends and loved ones that were close to him get some grief counseling. In my opinion and from my experience, there is no getting over it. But it's impossible to even try to move on without a lot of therapy and counseling. RIP Adam.


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## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

Wow, legit surprised. I'm sure people remember him because he had a unique personality and posted frequently when he was here. I was hoping he'd come back someday and give an update on his life. RIP.


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## JohnDoe26 (Jun 6, 2012)

Very sad to hear. RIP.


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## SamanthaStrange (Jan 13, 2015)

This is upsetting news. I hope he is finally at peace.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Oh my God, that's depressing to hear.


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## Charmander (Sep 5, 2012)

R.I.P. Adam.  I didn't know that was his real name, but I remember him quite well from last year. (As Gojira, rather than Burning Gojira). I'm sorry that you've lost a good friend too.


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

If/when I do it, I don't want anyone making a thread like this about me.


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## SD92 (Nov 9, 2013)

I remember him well from last summer. I always thought he seemed like a good guy even though he got into a lot of arguments.


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

OMG...... dang. RIP Gojira


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

How sad.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

I've seen him posting around here before. Sadly this isn't the first time I've heard of a user on here coming to this end


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## Pongowaffle (Jul 23, 2015)

I don't recall ever speaking to him. But I remember he had quite of a presence here for awhile. It's always sad to hear and pretty surreal when I hear things like this. 

I always wonder how people on here finds out another member has committed suicide though.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Not Gojira 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## The Condition of Keegan (Feb 1, 2016)

Rest. In. Peace  Hopefully your in a better place.


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## ShatteredGlass (Oct 12, 2012)

I didn't know him & we never spoke. I had seen him post around the forums though -- I don't post about topics relating to societal issues so I don't associate with many of the people here who do so, so he comes under the umbrella of the many people on this website I've never cared to interact with. It is sad though, as a suicide of someone naturally is. R.I.P.


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## CWe (Mar 7, 2010)

That's depressing and sad... RIP


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## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

Some of his threads I remember:

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f24/you-can-get-better-1564873/

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/stop-trying-not-to-be-awkward-1614330/

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f31/ask-gojira-whatever-1606393/

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f24/men-s-chat-thread-1630729/

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/how-lonely-can-people-here-really-be-1646658/


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Me and him had a lot of conflicting views and we got into heated debates but this is just shocking. I was wondering where him and other active users from half a year ago had gone.


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## Rex87 (Jan 5, 2015)

What a tragedy. I do remember him, only interacted with him once on a thread he created about staffing companies....Definitely seen and read a good bit of his posts as he was a pretty active member, didn't seem like a bad guy. Didn't know things was that bad for him. Rest in Peace Gojira.


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## Were (Oct 16, 2006)

R.I.P., I didn't know much about him but he didn't seem suicidal to me when he was here, this is sad.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Damn that sucks. @Gojira was a cool guy. I enjoyed our few conversations. It seemed like he was improving last time I checked. Too bad he never got that "severe" anxiety subforum he wanted.


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

Didn't know him :frown2:, **** !, this is soo sad....


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## Memories of Silence (May 15, 2015)

That's sad. I liked his posts, and can remember helping him to find out if his invisible mode worked.


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## chessman6500 (Sep 5, 2013)

Hi V!

It is very sad to hear of Gojira's passing, my condolences to him and his family. May he rest in peace. It is heart wrenching to hear this happening to people, but we have to realize there is a specific reason it transpires. Most of us just see it as a loud cry for help, and a lot of people don't acknowledge depression or suicidal thoughts, but that's the lethal side of depression, it is a double edge sword. Oh well, may he rest comfortably.


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

I wasn't friends with Gojira. I remember chatting briefly here and there. We didn't agree on many subjects and he conflicted with many on here. But I read a good bit of his POVs and he has my respect, despite.

I remember reading something in his "Ask Me Anything" thread, talking about people he conflicted with from time to time, and what he said was pretty telling of his character. He said we're not really that different, pointing out a few SASsers. He disagreed with them, yet then mustered a respect towards them by saying they're intelligent. Seems he thought the best in people. All except _one, _sadly.

I have nothing profound to say. I know what it feels like when suicide is a good idea. So lost that it's the only answer. The insanity of feeling content with such a decision. I can't wish him RIP. Feels contrived and a lie coming from me, being that I'm not a believer in an afterlife. So I can only speak a truth from my perspective. I hope the memory of him is long lasting and brings smiles. Maybe an eventuality for closer loved ones to come to much later, I'm sure. I hope our little community doesn't create a hyperbole stance towards him and his choice that plagues the mentally ill, all because you didn't care much for him or didn't agree with how he handled it. Or certainly not to blame yourself in any shape or form for his decision.

If you feel this way. Tell someone. It can be difficult. Fear of humiliation from the vulnerability of having to say that your life is so bad that you'd like it to end. Been there. I was terrified of myself and what I might do. Help someone stop you. Talk to someone.


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## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

I feel like I don't have anything to say that hasn't been said by others to be honest, I didn't interact too much with him but it's always depressing to find out about things like this. I wish his family and those who were close to him the best and hope they've been able to cope well.


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## Tom5 (Mar 13, 2012)

Did he have a gorilla as his avatar?


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## jonjagger (Dec 26, 2015)

Sad. Rest in Peace. Is it the same guy as @Gojira ?


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## TranquilityLane (Mar 22, 2016)

RIP Adam,

you bald headed, smart, witty and funny *******... it was great conversating with you all those times.
You told me how it kept you sane, writing with me and the other guys, even though I sometimes thought I couldn't make it worth your while.
You definately made it worth my while though, it was always, yes, relieving, seeing you appear in the group and watching you write, it has kept me sane in return. Thank you Adam.


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## AllTheSame (Mar 19, 2016)

McFly said:


> Some of his threads I remember


Thanks for sharing those, yeah I def remember him now. The first link you posted is....so depressing now. Because he was being so positive, I remember lurking that thread. He had everything going for him, he was so positive, he was trying to help others here to stay / be positive.


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## StephCurry (Jan 11, 2016)

JustThisGuy said:


> If you feel this way. Tell someone. It can be difficult. Fear of humiliation from the vulnerability of having to say that your life is so bad that you'd like it to end. Been there. I was terrified of myself and what I might do. Help someone stop you.* Talk to someone.*


What if you don't have anyone to speak to IRL... :sigh


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## WinterDave (Dec 5, 2003)

Yes, that first post is so sad because Adam is talking about his plans for the future, his hope for things to get better etc....

And then nine months later he is gone....

I don't really remember Gojira but I can identify with him, and feel terrible for Adam and his family....

Every new day brings at least a possibility for change....

And this reinforces my conviction of what actions not to take, if for no other reason than one's family....

R.I.P. Adam, I have been walking in your shoes forever.... :group


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

StephCurry said:


> What if you don't have anyone to speak to IRL... :sigh


You can find someone. Google. Suicide hotlines will help you find a psychiatrist/therapist in your area. If you have a family doctor, s/he can also recommend a psychiatrist.

I did the latter. I went in for an appointment to do the basics and he asked me how I was feeling and I told him I'm not happy. I was so used to being numb, but simply saying "I'm not happy" with such a desperate tone made me well up. He kept calm and clearly noticed. He then asked, "do you think about hurting yourself?" (God, I'm tearing up writing this.) I cracked out a, "yea." He noted that and pulled out his phone. He gave me a test on his phone, which I took. The result said "severely depressed." He set up an appointment for me to go see a psychiatrist he recommended. He did everything. Which was helpful when it comes to being afraid of talking on the phone. Just got a time card for the appointment and showed up.

Psychiatrist don't always do the heavy lifting. Sometimes it's a teamwork kind of thing. I was given a therapist for anxiety. Stress, GAD, SAD, PTSD. The like. She is great. I like talking to her.


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## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

AllTheSame said:


> Thanks for sharing those, yeah I def remember him now. The first link you posted is....so depressing now. Because he was being so positive, I remember lurking that thread. He had everything going for him, he was so positive, he was trying to help others here to stay / be positive.


Yeah he talked a lot about turning his life around in a better way and sounded positive about his future and was supportive of people struggling. So I wonder what changed recently for him that led to this.


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## StephCurry (Jan 11, 2016)

JustThisGuy said:


> You can find someone. Google. *Suicide hotlines will help you find a psychiatrist/therapist in your area.* If you have a family doctor, s/he can also recommend a psychiatrist.
> 
> I did the latter. I went in for an appointment to do the basics and he asked me how I was feeling and I told him I'm not happy. I was so used to being numb, but simply saying "I'm not happy" with such a desperate tone made me well up. He kept calm and clearly noticed. He then asked, "do you think about hurting yourself?" (God, I'm tearing up writing this.) I cracked out a, "yea." He noted that and pulled out his phone. He gave me a test on his phone, which I took. The result said "severely depressed." He set up an appointment for me to go see a psychiatrist he recommended. He did everything. Which was helpful when it comes to being afraid of talking on the phone. Just got a time card for the appointment and showed up.
> 
> Psychiatrist don't always do the heavy lifting. Sometimes it's a teamwork kind of thing. I was given a therapist for anxiety. Stress, GAD, SAD, PTSD. The like. She is great. I like talking to her.


I am so pathetic I cannot even call a ****ing suicide hotline because of my anxiety. I guess I will have to do my own research to find a psychiatrist in my area - I can't see a GP, my experiences with them have been horrible. Sorry to make you tear up and thanks for sharing.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

I hope those that loved him are getting by.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Holy wow, I am very sorry to hear this happened.

He seemed like a colourful character with a strong personality, that's for sure.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

Well, I'll refrain from making it more political this time but... my god.

I remember the brief time he was here, and I'm kind of smirking at the rebellion he helped lead even if I didn't agree with all of the points. It's terrible. He did seem very strong-willed, colorful despite the clear frustrations of his life and all I can do, even as I've been sitting here contemplating my own potentially autistic mental state and loneliness and suicide, is shake my head. I think we were the same age and it did sound like we had a lot in common as to our state of life... so I shake my head at how we've been left out in the cold, and how such tragedies shouldn't have to happen.

Godspeed.


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## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

We have to assume some people knew him enough to love him. Any person you meet with a favorable outcome you love, did you know that? At least on the smallest measurable level.


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

Is he the same guy whos user was "Gojira" ? I don't know if its the same guy but he was like bald too, but I believe he was younger. I just remember that guy, if it's not the same I don't know. In any case, wherever you are I hope you are in peace.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Tom5 said:


> Did he have a gorilla as his avatar?


A Godzilla monster.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AllTheSame (Mar 19, 2016)

BekahSquash22 said:


> Adam felt strongly that there was a need to be aware of the fact that feminism was going too far, and that men were in a lose-lose situation. Any man who showed emotion is considered less than macho and any man who was macho was considered a douche bag. Adam and all men deserve better than that....everyone is worthy of love and respect....everyone is worthwhile until proven otherwise.


I agree with this. The only thing I would change is that not all feminism is going too far imo, some brands of it are though, without a doubt. Gender stereotypes really do nothing but hurt people, they're used to try to tear people down, that's all.

This hits so close to home for me because I know from first hand experience that the hell his family and close friends are going through is only just beginning. I really, really hope they get into some very intensive therapy. They're going to need it to survive this.

Fwiw, and God I hope no one ever has to use this, there is Survivors of Suicide to support those left behind from the suicide of a loved one or close friend. There's at least one group in every major U.S. city, and they may be international, too, I'm not sure. Something I would def recommend.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

StephCurry said:


> I am so pathetic I cannot even call a ****ing suicide hotline because of my anxiety. I guess I will have to do my own research to find a psychiatrist in my area - I can't see a GP, my experiences with them have been horrible. Sorry to make you tear up and thanks for sharing.


Yeah, the anxiety makes it extra difficult... and then if you end up with a bad line, like myself and too many people experience, you end up feeling even further alone and anxious. It's questionable to me how much they can actually accomplish, since "just having someone to talk to" isn't much comfort for someone with severe suffering.

Ultimately I was lucky to have been linked to a nice place through other means. Even if I'm still that anxious and unable to make it even in the simplest of interactions... but don't feel pathetic for it.


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

TranquilityLane said:


> Yes, you got it right.


I don't know, other user said "not gojira", maybe they are 2 different gojiras.
One way to know

@Gojira @BurningGojira

EDIT: Yes apparently the same.

I am not sure what the other users say about his "rants" or whatever, and I think he was banned (not sure), maybe I did not see the post the other people refer to, but for what I can remember, I think despite his those comments, he was a nice guy.


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## andretti (Jan 2, 2016)

rip. i never knew him ,wasnt around buts it sad. i always think about all the people here that just disappear , how many of them have done stuff like this. Its a sad reality that we have to deal with  . life just isnt fair. I feel for my sas dudes. We go thru life with the difficulty level on the hardest setting.


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## michael20161991 (May 9, 2016)

Suicide is tragic and I can't imagine the pain he must have been in if he felt that suicide was the solution. Though; I'm super new to this forum (just signed up this morning) knowing of somebody who shares the same pain as me (isolation, anxiety, depression, loneliness, ect...) it pains me deeply to know that his hurt was so severe and it scares me. I've thought about suicide myself before but more in a daydreaming kind of way. I never had any true intention of doing it. I hope that I never do because I know it will hurt my family. I think it's sweet that you guys acknowledge him and remember him and are giving your condolences. It's apparent that even if he felt alone he obviously had friends in you guys. He sounds like a difficult person, but I wish I would have gotten to know him. My condolences. It's tragic that he ended his own life. At least he's not hurting anymore. Sending all my love towards those left behind.


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## TuxedoChief (Jan 11, 2015)

That's sad as all hell. Now I feel bad that I didn't talk to him. 

I hope this fate hasn't come on iCod, wherever he is now.


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## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

andretti said:


> rip. i never knew him ,wasnt around buts it sad. i always think about all the people here that just disappear , how many of them have done stuff like this. Its a sad reality that we have to deal with  . life just isnt fair. I feel for my sas dudes. We go thru life with the difficulty level on the hardest setting.


me too. I worry about some of the people who haven't posted in a long time. usually I think or hope they dont log in because they have got better... or busy with good things.

I didn't ever talk to Adam... but that doesn't matter. what's sad is the fact a probably decent person with much potential is gone from us because life was rotten to him. I hope he can have a better afterlife than the living life.


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## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

sajs said:


> I don't know, other user said "not gojira", maybe they are 2 different gojiras.
> One way to know
> 
> @*Gojira* @*Burn* ingGojira
> ...


BurningGojira is his skype name. He posted a picture of himself so if anyone is unsure:

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...-point-out-555777/index12.html#post1080394290


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

McFly said:


> BurningGojira is his skype name. He posted a picture of himself so if anyone is unsure:
> 
> http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...-point-out-555777/index12.html#post1080394290


Oh, yes, I remember that picture. I was just asking to be sure though.


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

I remember seeing him around the forum but our paths never crossed. Saddened and sorry to hear of his passing. RIP


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## Crisigv (Aug 3, 2013)

Oh dear, this makes me very sad. I considered him a good SAS friend for a time. RIP


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## Beast And The Harlot (Jun 14, 2015)

****! 

Gojira was one of my favourite members. We had talked several times and were friends on here. 

I just...damnit, this is horrible.


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## fonz (Oct 15, 2008)

Oh yeah,I remember him. That's really sad news,and I was already in a fairly down mood today already,damn...


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## DarrellLicht (Mar 9, 2013)

Suicide is always bad news. Color me bummed.


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

Wings of Amnesty said:


> If/when I do it, I don't want anyone making a thread like this about me.


Same here. As much as I care about some members here, current and former, I don't want any of them to know I've died...or care that I've died, for that matter.


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

Haven't felt this way in a long time but this really stings....


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Sadly I only remember him for his insults towards me at the time, not exactly what you like to remember people by. Clearly his issues were a lot deeper than appeared in text. Rip. 

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

OwningLoner said:


> Gojira was a great person and a friend to me. I remember late nights having one on one skype conversations with him. We just vented on the miseries of the world. It's clear he felt ostracized by the moderators in this community. I really think they should be more cautious when banning people with mental health issue for all we know it could have played a role in his decision to take his own life. =(


I would hope they're cautious but no one is to blame for his death. He was ill and made a choice that I hope he is at peace with.


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

Sad. My condolences to his family and to those who counted him as a friend. 

Get help people if you need it. The world doesn't need to be so dark.


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## WinterDave (Dec 5, 2003)

Wings of Amnesty said:


> If/when I do it, I don't want anyone making a thread like this about me.


I disagree....

We need to acknowledge a person's existence and suffering....

And we need to learn from them....

Maybe Adam's actions renew our purpose to get help/improve ourselves, or at least refrain from an irreversible decision....

Maybe it is a wake up call for us, or a shock to our system....

I completely understand and am also baffled by Adam's decision....

I don't know why one would not exhaust all resources before committing such an act, but personally understand how one could....

And that is what scares me....

But Adam's actions and passing makes life a little bit more dear to me, and for me want to change/improve my life a little bit more....

So we should acknowledge and discuss peoples' actions, both good and bad, and learn from them....

So we don't make a solution that we cannot come back from, and that harms all of those who love us.... :group

Adam won't experience any more pain, but he has also forfeited any chance to get better or to change, experience new events and opportunities etc....

And he has hurt many of those who knew and loved him....


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## Maverick34 (Feb 18, 2013)

RIP Adam


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## sprinter (Nov 22, 2003)

I remember him, that's sad news  Went back and read the thread he started looking for other members near him...http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f15/upstate-new-york-southern-tier-1569330/

This part....
"Actually, I think having SAS helped get me through a really dark place a couple months back. Without it, I think I would have been really lost. "


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

Wow, another one...  

Never spoken to him myself I am pretty sure. But I surely recalled his strong and stimulating presence on here. He seemed to have such a strong and firm vibe. So this certainly was a surprised. Kind of scary and sad thinking about this, as it really isn't that long ago when he was still very active on here. 

Just another dark reminder of how we never truly know what goes on to lots of people on here behind their username and avatar.


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## luckeyboy (Jan 31, 2016)

damn this is sad to hear i didnt know him as iam new this forum.i cant blame him for commiting sucide.life is f'd up for us....R.I.P
i hope he is in a better place now
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Owl-99 (Mar 7, 2012)

"I'm not a quiter. I'm too stubborn to be XD" This was on his profile page.


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## PineconeMachine (Jan 17, 2012)

Rest in peace.


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## Hayman (Dec 27, 2014)

I'm very sorry to hear this. It's horrible news indeed . I recall his username and seeing him around on here. I'm fairly sure we exchanged a couple of messages on the boards, unless I'm mistaken… He spoke a lot of sense in my opinion and there were certainly issues he had that I could also personally relate to. 

I really like Milo Yiannopoulos's work. I'll make sure I listen to that podcast when I get more spare time as men's issues is something that I also like to discuss but again, too many people (everywhere, not exclusive to here by any means...) are quick to start branding around the 'ists' and 'isms' without actually listening to genuine male concerns. It's the easy way to silence them. It's no wonder why here in the UK, men's suicide rates are higher than ever. We're no longer listened to. We're not allowed a voice any more. 

Anyway, back on topic. My thoughts are with his family and friends at what's no doubt a very difficult and upsetting time for them. 

I sincerely hope he's now found peace and the endless suffering he was going through is finally at an end. 

RIP, Burning Gojira.


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## Aleida (Jun 11, 2013)

Wings of Amnesty said:


> If/when I do it, I don't want anyone making a thread like this about me.


Especially not with my real full name in it! If someone googles his real name and it leads to here? I think it's a breach of privacy.



the cheat said:


> I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, but using his death as a soapbox is distasteful.


I had similar thoughts.

Also some other thoughts but I won't start about that here.


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## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

Aleida said:


> Especially not with my real full name in it! If someone googles his real name and it leads to here? I think it's a breach of privacy.


If you google his name this thread is in the top of the search results. So there's a good chance people that knew him irl will see this thread.

PS: thanks to the mods for sticking this.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

RIP Gojira. I vaguely remember some of his posts, but never got to know him on a personal level. 

The worst part is always feeling so bleak that you believe there is little hope left. I've been there before and thankfully made it out alive, but other members such as himself and Drew and Aloysius sadly succumbed to them. May this not be the case for anyone else on here ever again.


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

McFly said:


> PS: thanks to the mods for sticking this.


I don't think suicide threads should be stickied. A stickied thread is a must-read thread. You sticky things like rules, important announcements, or threads that everyone should read and be aware of before posting. This thread about gojira is active and will stay on the front page naturally, and when it stops being active it should fall away off the front page.


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## apx24 (Jan 31, 2012)

Oh no  

I didn't agree with all of his posts but I liked them, I was sad when he got banned.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I remember his moving out on his own. He was a nice guy to me. Humble.


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## apx24 (Jan 31, 2012)

the cheat said:


> I would hope they're cautious but no one is to blame for his death. He was ill and made a choice that I hope he is at peace with.


Well, that's debatable. But I suppose now is not the time or place to discuss this.


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## CNikki (Aug 9, 2013)

Then it's wondered why people are getting fed up. Sorry to hear about your friend.


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## Cletis (Oct 10, 2011)

Didn't know him but sad to hear of his passing.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

the cheat said:


> I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, but using his death as a soapbox is distasteful.


You took the words right out of my mouth.


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## Charmander (Sep 5, 2012)

Neo said:


> I agree. It is a shame that this person committed suicide, and RIP but I'm not comfortable with threads about this subject being stickied in General Discussion of all places. Staff are setting a precedent that they will have to sticky all threads about a member committing suicide. Is this suitable? I don't think so. There is a place for such things and I don't think this is it.
> 
> If anything it could be a suicide trigger for others, which I thought was not allowed here. I'm pretty sure in the past they have removed threads about other members passing away for the same reason.


I wasn't the one who sticked it, but I think most people see it more as a rememberance thread rather than anything else. We discussed this thread but those higher up than me were fine with it staying up anyway.

It might be that it'll stay stickied for a while, not forever, as I don't think that would be suitable either.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

Well yeah, no one's comfortable with suicide at all, so they just leave us to go figure it out on our own.

The political grandstanding is more appropriate than support. The lack of support is more appropriate. Kind of links back to the OP, somewhat. We just crumple up our pain inside for the comfort of others. I'll tell you what's the bigger trigger.

I mean, commemorating a member is somehow a crime now. No ****ing shock nothing changes.


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## Memories of Silence (May 15, 2015)

It was my idea to sticky it, but it was only going to be for about two days so that it could be used as a remembrance thread without it getting pushed to another page, and so the people who knew him would see it without having to search. Sorry if I shouldn't have done that.


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## Tymes Rhymes (May 28, 2014)

I certainly remember the man and actually conversed with him on a few occasions.

I remember he always challenged the feminists on this forum in particular and I agreed with a lot of his stances in that regard. (Not using this as a soapbox, just saying...)

I'm saddened to hear about his death and I hope for nothing but the best for his family and friends.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

RIP. I didn't know him personally, but he seemed like an alright guy.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Silent Memory said:


> It was my idea to sticky it, but it was only going to be for about two days so that it could be used as a remembrance thread without it getting pushed to another page, and so the people who knew him would see it without having to search. Sorry if I shouldn't have done that.


I think it was a good idea. I might never have seen it otherwise, since I don't come here much anymore. I remember him. I remember him getting banned along with icod and Ignopius - for being misogynistic. But I don't think he was that bad. I remember one argument he got in with a REALLY obnoxious chick.


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## Hikin (Aug 13, 2014)

Never saw him during my lurking days, but he sounds like a fine guy. Very sad to hear. RIP.


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## Perspicacious (Jun 28, 2015)

Haven't shed a tear in a long time.


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## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

damn that is sad. it does make me wonder how many other people who have simply "disappeared" from the internet have met a tragic end.. those that don't have friends or connections to mourn their loss. 

rip, to another social anxiety sufferer.


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## dune87 (Aug 10, 2015)

thats really sad :/


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## SeraphSoul (Aug 4, 2013)

I never knew him, but I'm really sorry for the loss. =(
May he rest in peace.


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## a degree of freedom (Sep 28, 2011)

Silent Memory said:


> It was my idea to sticky it, but it was only going to be for about two days so that it could be used as a remembrance thread without it getting pushed to another page, and so the people who knew him would see it without having to search. Sorry if I shouldn't have done that.


I personally appreciate this. Gojira was well known. It seems only right.


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## Smallfry (Oct 11, 2004)

This is heartbreaking to learn, RIP Adam


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## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

JustThisGuy said:


> I remember reading something in his "Ask Me Anything" thread, talking about people he conflicted with from time to time, and what he said was pretty telling of his character. He said we're not really that different, pointing out a few SASsers. He disagreed with them, yet then mustered a respect towards them by saying they're intelligent. Seems he thought the best in people. All except one, sadly.


I remember we argued a little bit in one thread and he said I was a good man at the end and he wouldn't tear me down. He was very nice to me and that is how I will remember him.

But I didn't know what you have been through with your life Adam. 

My condolences to him and his family.

R.I.P. Gojira / Adam, you will be missed. :crying:


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)




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## gumballhead (Jun 8, 2011)

I'm sorry to hear that. I don't think I had any interactions with him, but I remember the name ,and I remember people talking about how he'd been banned. Can't say I'll miss him, because I didn't know him, but it sort of makes me wish I, or any of us, could have helped him enough to a better state of mental health.


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## SaladDays (Nov 26, 2013)

R.I.P Adam, it still feels like just recently that I saw him and briefly interacted with him via the skype group, I can't say I knew him very well, as I said I only briefly interacted with him, but from our encounter I was left with the impression that he was a little better than he used to be last year =/


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Damn he was one of my favorite people on here until the mods tossed him out. One of the reasons I think this forum doesn't help, the people who are really struggling are going to get banned for one reason or another.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

Never get emotionally attached to females like some romantic crush because it can hurt you, it's messed up that he killed himself but he must of felt really bad in life to do something like that, but I'm against suicide for myself, I believe in the afterlife, reincarnation and near death experiences and ghosts


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## vsaxena (Apr 17, 2015)

I heard through the grapevine that someone left a comment accusing Adam of hating women. In reality, he loved his mother, he loved his sister and he loved his best friend, who incidentally happened to be a woman. 

What Adam hated were the hypocrisies, double standards and bull**** that he sincerely felt some women he had encountered in his life practiced. This frustration that he harbored admittedly left him rather cynical and jaded, but to argue that he "hated women" is not only patently false; it's also cruel.

I talked with Adam extensively, and frankly, he made some very legitimate arguments. He also sometimes engaged in a bit of hyperbole, but for the most part, I felt that he had a valid point -- but that he also had a good heart. The key is that I took the time to listen and genuinely consider his perspective. *shrugs*

Anyway. 

In the remixed words of Obama, "V Out!"


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## Miach (Mar 29, 2016)

RIP Gojira.


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## silentstruggle (Jul 16, 2014)

RIP Adam.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Very sad, even though I have no idea who he is.

I just hope he went out with a fast & relatively painless means of death (most suicide methods are slow & agonizing).


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

Silent Memory said:


> It was my idea to sticky it, but it was only going to be for about two days so that it could be used as a remembrance thread without it getting pushed to another page, and so the people who knew him would see it without having to search. Sorry if I shouldn't have done that.


I still think it was right and I totally appreciate it being left up for a fair amount of time... not that I got to know him all too well and not that I'd expect to be so included, but rememberance is exactly what it is, and we are a community and should be open and supportive. Not forgetful.


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## Tokztero (Sep 12, 2013)

Seen his username before. Rest in eternal peace Adam. We are all going to that place where you are. I might meet you there when my time comes.


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## eukz (Nov 3, 2013)

the cheat said:


> I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, but using his death as a soapbox is distasteful.


I agree. IMO you're supposed to be a selfless person and make speeches _before _people die.


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## gthopia94 (Dec 18, 2015)

I didn't know the dude but still R.I.P. :frown2:


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## TheOLDPrince (Jan 18, 2014)

poor guy that is so sad


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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

I didn't know him but still very sad...
R.I.P.


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

I think this was a really nice tribute to your friend.


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## WinterDave (Dec 5, 2003)

I think that discussions like this are useful, beneficial, educational, and a catharsis....

That we are not all alone, and share similar pain and emotions....

I have been thinking about Adam and his actions for a couple of days now, and how it translates into my own life and problems....

And I think it has given me more incentive to try and change and to get better....

Or at least not to attempt a similar solution....

Like they say, a permanent solution to temporary problems....

And yes, I know that they are not temporary problems....

Trust me, I know....

But I am not going to destroy my mother, after she lost my older brother and father to cancer....

*It is not just about us, our actions have consequences....*


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## apx24 (Jan 31, 2012)

the cheat said:


> But then why say anything like this in the first place lol to me, it's not even a debate...a person should have a right to his own life, even if he is ill...maybe especially if he is ill.
> 
> I feel like if you combine the entirety of the first world country's populations, there are bound to be millions of adults who are just meant to have torturous lives, and those people who are destined to live like that their whole lives should be able to reserve the right to end their suffering.
> 
> There IS help, but not everyone can overcome whatever is ailing them...they should be able to meet with professionals, have a full psychological evaluation, and then have a choice.


Of course suicide is a choice. However, I'm guessing that there were people who didn't treat him well, and are thus indirectly responsible for him coming to that choice. People should think of the repercussions before treating others badly (I'm guilty of this too btw)


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## Ventura (May 5, 2009)

SaladDays said:


> R.I.P Adam, it still feels like just recently that I saw him and briefly interacted with him via the skype group, I can't say I knew him very well, as I said I only briefly interacted with him, but from our encounter I was left with the impression that he was a little better than he used to be last year =/


^ I got the impression as well...  Or at least what he made think.

-------------

I wasn't going to post in this thread, but since it's going this way, I know a lot of people here have conflicted views on him....

I wasn't a fan of the "Gojira" that posted on SAS (but than again, I'm not a fan of debates.. I just never got to know him from SAS), but the "Adam" that posted on Skype, very much.  . He had strong views, but he was a total sweetheart. (*Edit*: thanks @McFly for posting some of his best posts on the site.. They made me smile.) [Link]

Whenever I felt sad, or upset about something, I could Skype him, or text him, and he'd always tell me he was there for me. I felt comforted and secured. I know a few people he made felt that way, with.. I wished he would of reached out to one of us.

I'll forever remember him, and hope he rests in peace  It's unfortunate others' on the forum didn't see that side of him a group of us got to see, on Skype, as he had a lot of positivity in him, and brightness.

Him and I, had many conversations about his time on SAS, and he told me it was for the best he was off SAS, he was more productive, felt less angry and hostile... that the site, turn him into something he didn't want to be (he admitted he got too railed up and forums weren't healthy for him). After being departed from SAS (he was very computer savy) he could of easily made an dupe account, and not get noticed, but he didn't. He got a job, and moved out of his mom's house.. he moved on from SAS, and had nothing against anyone here personally. He wouldn't of wanted any of the Staff to feel guilty over this. As there was a much bigger picture outside of a 'silly' website.

Still a bit blown back right now. I keep skyping him, asking him if this is some sort of joke.. I keep calling him, no answer.. It's just now sinking in. Seeing all these posts isn't real feeling.. 

RIP, Adam  :squeeze


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## indiscipline (May 24, 2015)

That's awful.

(With that said, this reads like quite a political eulogy. Hmm.)


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## JH1983 (Nov 14, 2013)

Just heard about this from another member I keep in contact with outside of here. Took me a minute, but I remember him. Don't think we ever interacted much though. Very sad when someone is that hopeless that ending their own life seems like the answer. R.I.P. Adam.


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## zonebox (Oct 22, 2012)

Poor guy. If there is more to this existence than this life, I hope his suffering is over now. I'm sorry for all of you who had known and enjoyed his company, you along with everyone who is feeling loss have my sympathy.


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## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

Damn, I remember he replied to one of my threads, its so very sad. People don't realize life is already short to begin with..i wish he hung in there.. Rip Gojira.


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## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

TuxedoChief said:


> That's sad as all hell. Now I feel bad that I didn't talk to him.
> 
> I hope this fate hasn't come on iCod, wherever he is now.


I know, I remember icod


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## LydeaCharlotteGirl (Aug 27, 2013)

That is very sad. I've seen some unexpected deaths of shy forum members before (some through suicide). Gojira was certainly one of the most outspoken posters I've encountered here.


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## The Linux Guy (Jul 11, 2013)

I think it is sad that it takes suicide to make people realize just how deeply someone is hurting. Honesty, Compassion, and Patience is all important. All three I think the Internet communities lack. Above all Love and Support.


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## NewHabits (Oct 26, 2015)

RIP Adam


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## Gregory House (Feb 14, 2013)

Didn't know a guy, but he looks familliar from somwehere before, m.e from another forum or something. I'm sure of that.
A very, sad news, I feel sorry for about him and his familly. R.I.P.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

I had him as a friend on here and on Skype. I found myself agreeing with what he had to say on societal issues.

Sad to see him go. RIP Adam, AKA BurningGojira 

I wish his family all the best in their time of grief...


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## The Starry night (May 23, 2015)

Thats sad. I really hope it doesnt happed to any of us its jus really sad.

Sad how an irrational fear can make us so afraid to the point we give in and commit suicide.


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## Xisha (Apr 19, 2015)

He was actually a really nice person despite some of the things he'd post on here. RIP, Adam.


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## andy0128 (Dec 19, 2003)

I'm surprised that some members don't remember him well. He was one of the most colourful posters we have had on here and was very active last year. It's really sad news. I had quite a few exchanges with him while he was a member here so it makes it all the more difficult to digest. I'm sure he will be missed by a lot of people.


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## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

LiveWaLearningDisability said:


> I think it is sad that it takes suicide to make people realize just how deeply someone is hurting. Honesty, Compassion, and Patience is all important. All three I think the Internet communities lack. Above all Love and Support.


Right it seems that death is the only thing that catches peoples attention..and makes people care..why do we have to wait till were gone to give a damn about someone? It's sad, i want to be a bit different


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## Nonsensical (Mar 29, 2013)

I remember gojira very well, he was always getting into fights with feminazis but he was always in very good humor. I spoke to him often enough but we weren't really close, I have a lot of visitor messages from him. He was a good guy, and the overwhelming impression I got from him was that he just wanted to be accepted and he was willing to embarrass himself in the process to make real friends. I'm so sad that he felt he needed to take his life. I wish he had got on SAS and sent me a PM instead. I would have told him what was up, he was doing well for himself.


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## thomasjune (Apr 7, 2012)

That's so sad. I used to like reading his post. He was a bit blunt but he seemed like he cared about the members here. RIP Adam.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

I wondered what happened to him...

R.I.P


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

I remember seeing him around here, this is very sad. Thankfully, you made an excellent post in response, and as tribute. He was definitely a fighter, a strong soul. That really sucks, man. Sorry for your loss and R.I.P. Adam.


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## AllTheSame (Mar 19, 2016)

@Scattered Pieces I'm so sorry for your loss  I had no idea you guys were close, or had talked. (((hugs))) I know firsthand how incredibly difficult, how life-changing and how incredibly devastating and overwhelming it is to lose someone in this way.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

I had a conversation with Gojira and he was nice to me. Words cannot describe how sad I was when I found out about this devastating news. Rest in peace my brotha.


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## Longingfor (May 18, 2016)

I'm very sorry to hear about this, I never spoke to him of course but still feel like he's someone I can relate to from what you spoke of. May he rest in peace and my condolences towards his relatives and close ones.....


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## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

I'm sorry that you lost a friend.
I didn't know this person so it is hard for me to feel any sadness.


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## The Linux Guy (Jul 11, 2013)

7th.Streeter said:


> Right it seems that death is the only thing that catches peoples attention..and makes people care..why do we have to wait till were gone to give a damn about someone? It's sad, i want to be a bit different


I don't have much hope because people online seem to be too lazy to care. But kudos to you for expressing that you want to be different.


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

I really did not expect to see this today. We never spoke, but I always liked the guy, he seemed pretty genuine and with a good sense of humour. I don't know what to say. rest in peace just feels forced. Just goes to show you what depression, isolation and social anxiety can really put you through. I hope he will be the last on this site to meet this fate, but sadly, I don't believe that's going to be true. Thank you vsaxena for posting this here and letting the rest of us know


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

the cheat said:


> I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, but using his death as a soapbox is distasteful.


I agree with this. I PMed with him several times and despite his talk in his posts, he was a really sweet kid who had sympathy for my problems, which matched his own (as a female).

I am shocked to find this out. It's devastating.


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## SickAndTiredofSA (Mar 31, 2015)

awww I'm so sorry! I understand how you feel because I was also his friend...and I was so worried about him for days until his sister called me and told me the sad news  RIP Adam you will be missed!


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## 3r10n (Aug 29, 2014)

Seen that name come by quite a few times.
Didn't know him, but seemed like an okay guy.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

That sucks...


He had debates with a lot of people on here and would often say harsh truths or opinions but all in all he was still a good guy irl based on his actions.


I fear to think how my state of mind will be when my mum leaves this cruel world and I truly feel lonely and lost/unappreciated enough to contemplate doing what a few users on here did.

It chips away at my heart, it really does man...

It's like, watching someone with similar struggles, climbing a similar mountain and then slipping and falling away, fading...

How many people in this mental pain have to suffer before people irl start taking the signs of this stuff more seriously?


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

Malek said:


> How many people in this mental pain have to suffer before people irl start taking the signs of this stuff more seriously?


it's really sad how people don't take the warning signs seriously until it's too late....


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

LostinReverie said:


> I agree with this. I PMed with him several times and despite his talk in his posts, he was a really sweet kid who had sympathy for my problems, which matched his own (as a female).
> 
> I am shocked to find this out. It's devastating.


 Same here.....underneath the posts was a kind soul. He was really trying to make it and doing well, so I thought .


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## aaaa1111bbbb2222cccc3333 (May 10, 2015)

Just found about this thread. I don't know what to say that doesn't sound like platitudes, but he seemed to be a really nice guy. I feel sorry for his family as i remember him posting about his mom sometimes. That's very sad.


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## Cool Ice Dude55 (Jan 7, 2014)

R.I.P Gojira. May he rest in peace.


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## Constellations (Sep 23, 2013)

I only spoke with him a few times, and to be fair I hardly really knew him. But from what I saw of him he seemed like a very friendly outgoing guy. 

R.I.P indeed, may he finally rest in peace.


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## Marko3 (Mar 18, 2014)

RIP


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## burgerchuckie (May 31, 2012)

Sad to hear that. May he RIP. No one would judge him now that he's in heaven.


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## mattmc (Jun 27, 2013)

A tragic loss for his family and friends. Really, for the world itself, as many have made it clear that he had a lot of love to give. I didn't know him personally but I remember his posts. He deserved a better world than the one we live in. Hopefully he's in a better place now.

Good night, sweet prince; and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.


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## gruth (Sep 4, 2016)

I will keep fighting for you my friend. Thank you for the memories.


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## rockyraccoon (Dec 13, 2010)

I never chatted with him or saw his posts but regardless RIP buddy.


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## euphoria04 (May 8, 2012)

Strip down the layers of hatred and bitterness he had developed as his own self-defense mechanism, and he wasn't much different from the rest of us. He wanted to be loved and understood, like most anyone here. I saw more of Adam in myself than I'd like to admit.

Happy trails mate.


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## Oh Jenna (Aug 26, 2014)

the cheat said:


> I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, but using his death as a soapbox is distasteful.


This. I feel for the guy, but you didn't have to include the political stuff.

It would have been much more respectful to give that stuff it's own thread rather than making his suicide more of a side note.


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## deenzbz (Apr 29, 2017)

Bump, to remind what a great person Gojira was. 1 year later and I am still mad, confused, sad, etc.

I just would like to refuse to believe it, that he's gone. That I will never have another chance to contact him. Suicide such a serious subject, I already lost another friend last year too. The pain all becomes too apparent to bear with, but I keep soldiering on, I need to keep on living, I have this willpower/determination to do my best to prove the naysayers wrong.

I wish i knew you were gonna do this, so I could have talked you out of it. I regret deleting my Skype account, I was going through some heavy crap at the time too. But you were a great dude, the few times we personally talked, it felt like you really were there for me, even though this is all just text. all i can say to myself is that I helped you in some way, though it could not have stopped you from the noose. You were in so much pain, I realize it now.

Goodbye Gojira, i will never forget you.


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