# Constantly feeling like no one likes you?



## thequietmanuk

Does anyone else suffer from this? There may or may not be evidence for this but I almost always feel like this especially at work, well at work there almost is evidence for this, like when you walk into a room at lunch time the talking stops, or people putting there head down when they walk past you so they don't have to speak, ok so once or twice you can get away with it, but every time?

But I can't figure out if its because I feel like no one like me that I send out a vibe or something and so cause people to act this way around me, or I feel like this because people ignore me and just don't like me.

Either way its not very pleasant feeling like no one like you.


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## Duke of Prunes

Yep. I even get that with friends, but it's worse around strangers.

I definitely think it's partly true that we give off some kind of vibe, but I also think that it's a vicious circle and it begins with the initial, irrational feeling that we're unwanted which leads to the seemingly-unfriendly behaviour that gives off the aforementioned vibe, which causes people to react to us negatively, in turn reinforcing the initial anxiety.

In my case, my friends don't react to my anxious behaviour the same way strangers do, so the anxiety isn't reinforced and is more manageable, but around strangers, it can be pretty bad. It all depends on how they react, the vibe they give off (certain people are more likely to trigger the initial fear, I find) and the mood I'm in.

Of course speed, MDMA, a bit of weed, opiates, benzos and alcohol all prevent this from happening in the first place.


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## Tess4u

i get that feeling alot too, but i think it may have to do with having sa. I know that having sa leads me to assume negative things and outcomes without actually having any evidence that what my mind makes up is true. My mind likes to play with me sometimes and it comes from within. I will admit though that when im anxious i know i send off some weird vibe that makes others nervous or feel a little off so im trying to work on it for my sake
I recently posted on a thread and someone gave me really good advice, maybe the reason why we assume everyone hates us is because we still haven't learn to love ourselves. To me it made perfect sense, i don't like myself and therefore how do i expect other people to like me if i cant give what i want to receive to myself. Im going to work on as well.


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## fictionmachine

I experience the same thing. It screws up my relationships. I've always felt that people around me don't like me, so it's really hard for me to try to befriend them, because all I see is rejection. And worse, I even feel that way about my friends. I can never really trust them not hating me and talking behind my back, so I always keep my distance and just end up feeling lonely. I even got down to the point where I become harsh to them in response, because I somewhat believe people will hurt me in the end so I better hurt them first.

This is the bad, destructive thing living in your head.


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## jamesSA

I feel this way with everyone, even my family. When I try to be confident and ignore the anxiety I think it also results in "seemingly unfriendly behaviour"^ , I try so hard to relax, trust people and be nice to everyone but I still end up feeling like no one likes me and I'm slowly becoming more sure that these irrational feelings are in fact rational and true :///


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## NoHeart

I feel this way all the time, i would go so far as to say i might suffer from Paranoia. I have great difficulty trusting people. And it is even harden to discern wether people's intentions are genuine, good, bad, etc...


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## Aly

everyday
i even feel like my friends who i've known for 6 years don't like me


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## NoHeart

Aly said:


> everyday
> i even feel like my friends who i've known for 6 years don't like me


Reminds me how i ended up friendless..


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## TheTruthIsOutThere

Well I'm a dick so I'm not surprised people don't like me haha. But i act differently around my online friends so they actually like me.


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## unbreakable damages

I don't have a lot of friends in real life, but I definitely feel like online friends don't like me.


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## DJNinja88

i know for certain nobody likes me.


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## Invisigirl

thequietmanuk said:


> Does anyone else suffer from this? There may or may not be evidence for this but I almost always feel like this especially at work, well at work there almost is evidence for this, like when you walk into a room at lunch time the talking stops, or people putting there head down when they walk past you so they don't have to speak, ok so once or twice you can get away with it, but every time?
> 
> But I can't figure out if its because I feel like no one like me that I send out a vibe or something and so cause people to act this way around me, or I feel like this because people ignore me and just don't like me.
> 
> Either way its not very pleasant feeling like no one like you.


Do you remember any instances where people have talked to you or been nice to you? 
Negative thinking can really mess with your memory. My mind filters out every social situation besides ones where I was ignored. Therefore I think "people ignore me all the time; they must dislike me." But if I think hard enough, I can recall instances where people said hi, gave a compliment, or were kind in general. Not everyone out there is a jerk.



DJNinja88 said:


> i know for certain nobody likes me.


I like you.

Now you can't say that anymore. :b


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## Bunyip

This thread reminded me of...


























But, I feel the same way. Even if someone says they like me, in the back of my mind I always think they dislike me. I don't know if I'll ever get over the feeling-- I feel this way with my parents and siblings, not just 'people'...


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## The shy soldier

I do feel this way too sometimes. and I don't blame neither me nor people who don't like me...How can people like me when I lack social relaxity ?!, How can i tell a good joke when I am too Anxious...

'In this world, even a Soviet one, there will always be rich and poor. Rich in gifts, poor in gifts. Rich in love, poor in love.'
From Enemy at the gate movie...


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## bioalp43

I have loved ones, but they never really go out of there way to reach me. I don't think they like my presence too much. . .


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## scaliesmark

I feel this way most of the time anymore, even with my family. I feel like anyone I meet hates me & thinks I'm a creep, the few friends I have only hang around me so they laugh at me @ make fun of me behind my back, amd that my family is embarassed and ashamed of me.


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## mysterioussoul

uh huh. i feel like everyone secretly hate me, even with my parents. i feel that they're nice to me in front of me but once i leave probably ***** about me.


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## blightofshyness

I constantly feel like no one likes me.

I believe that the reason no one likes me is because something in my demeanour communicates to others who see me that I am a loser.

I feel that I cannot ever become likable, because I cannot do anything about the unattractive messages that I subconsciously communicate.


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## JenN2791

Been feeling this way a lot lately. Feels like none of my friends want anything to do with me..


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## McdonaldMiller

Yes I feel this way alot. I do not want to be a negative influence to people but some coworkers seem annoyed and avoidant of me. As well as most people.


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## McdonaldMiller

blightofshyness said:


> I constantly feel like no one likes me.
> 
> I believe that the reason no one likes me is because something in my demeanour communicates to others who see me that I am a loser.
> 
> I feel that I cannot ever become likable, because I cannot do anything about the unattractive messages that I subconsciously communicate.


I feel that too.


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## MadeinLithuania

_Yes. Even than they saying for me that they like me.. I know, that they don't :<_


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## EndlessBlu

I've been feeling that a lot lately. I love when people, especially people on this very forum, message you telling how much they like you, then you try to start a conversation with them and all of a sudden they start ignoring you more and more, and it becomes apparent they don't actually like you.


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## Famous

most people hate me like hitler


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## Bretona

getting negative affection is better than being moot to everyone. some people have given up on being like, the just try the next best thing, getting some hate. thats what trolls are.


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## AfarOff

What is this... "feeling"? I am simply stating facts!


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## AceRimmer

Ditto. There is no "feeling". There is only "know". I know people hate me.


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## WantsToBeFriends

Hello everybody. I just signed up and I feel exactly the same way. It's not just a feeling, I know for afact for what ever reason, they turn the other way, they leave, they don't ask me to or invite.....

I feel and I know I'm the kind of person who is honest and kind. I try to go out of my way to do things for people because I truly do not mind. English is not my first language but I speak normally. I feel like I don't fit in 99% of the time and wonder to myself..what is wrong. I start thinking "maybe I should be mean' or get angry because I think too much of it.

I try to wake up and think happy thoughts and focus on my future goals with my business. I'm happy when I think aout it but when I'm at work or whatever...I seem to only attract the people I really don't want to be associated with. I'm nice to everyone and I do have some friends...one or two actual close friends. I seem to make friends when I try but within two visits or even the first, I seem to feel they think me as a castaway or soemthing. Or I may pick up their body language or a something they say to make me believe they don't want to hang out anymore.

Who do I go to in c ase like this? Are there support groups near Carroll County Maryland or West Baltimore?


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## Maninthebox84

It sucks when you try to talk to someone you want to get to know and it seems like they are trying to get rid of you as fast as possible, but then people you don't care about might start a conversation with you. This happens to me at work.


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## jamesSA

NoHeart said:


> I feel this way all the time, i would go so far as to say i might suffer from Paranoia. I have great difficulty trusting people. And it is even harden to discern wether people's intentions are genuine, good, bad, etc...


I think it is mainly paranoia, This is why my SA is very bad around people I don't know and almost non existent around loved ones which I am very close and spent a lot of time with


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## shadowmask

It's more than a feeling. *cue Boston*


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## notimenoproblem

People form opinions of others very quickly from very subtle behavioral cues. If you have a history of thinking and feeling persecuted, along with slight awkwardness/social discomfort, its quite likely that people are going to respond in a reserved manner. 
Remember one thing, almost all people are in some way insecure and will respond defensively towards anybody who doesnt work to make them feel at ease. Blame modern society that more people arent peaceful and unafraid...


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## linxy5

Most of it is in the head and from low self-esteem. I felt the same way all the time but its not true I always feel people hate me but then at the beginning of class or end they always say hi and bye, they strike up conversations with me, etc it's mostly in the head.

Anyone who doesn't like you, it doesn't matter their opinion doesn't matter if they were a good person they would find a reason to like you because they are cool like that and a good person that's a non-hater.

Just be super nice, kind, and respectful and if they don't like you don't worry about them. =b


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## crystaltears

yeah, all the time.

This is probably why I'm a loner... no one cares about me :|


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## RelinquishedHell

Every time I interact with someone it instantly feels like they are thinking something negative about me. All it takes is a subtle facial expression like squinting, a raised eyebrow or anything like that and I am convinced they don't like me.


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## therunaways

Yeah, I feel like everyone hates me.


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## McdonaldMiller

Bunyip said:


> This thread reminded me of...
> 
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> But, I feel the same way. Even if someone says they like me, in the back of my mind I always think they dislike me. I don't know if I'll ever get over the feeling-- I feel this way with my parents and siblings, not just 'people'...


What is this from? its funny lol.


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## Bunyip

McdonaldMiller said:


> What is this from? its funny lol.


It's from Meet the Robinsons. C:


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## dragongirl

yeah i feel this way it sux :rain


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## ohgodits2014

Not really, but I can't help but feel that anyone who's been nice to me is either acting or just feeling sorry for me. :|


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## Nettz

yea, im starting to feel this with all my best friends now and I dont know what to do. i find it especially hard because im in a boarding school situation, my mum knows but I dont want to worry her and shes asked me if I want to move schools, i dont really want to but i might have to if I want to be happy. help me please


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## rapidfox1

In my high school, yes.


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## ChangeInProgress

Yep. Probably the biggest reason i don't have friends. I don't think people will like me so i don't bother talking to people. If someone tries to talk to me i don't put in much effort cuz i think they will get bored of me and not want to talk anymore. Which in the end they stop talkin to me, not cuz they don't like me, but the vibe i put out there. Its not exactly welcoming.


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## Joanne1984

I have this thing where I think none of my in laws like me...it sucks!


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## Gusthebus

I just know nobody likes me not even my friends and family and I am fine with it for the most part because I am used to it


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## Toppington

I always convince myself that everyone probably hates me when I'm out somewhere, so I should always act like they do and avoid annoying them by talking to them or being around them at all. Same goes for the internet. I'm just not a very likeable person. I get that. Having tons of friends was never something I've been very interested in anyway. If I can eventually find a few people that don't hate me, I'll be perfectly content with that alone as far as friends go.


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## SamtheScuttlefish

Well, not that nobody likes me. I have friends who I see every day and they're a big help in getting me through the day. But people I don't know I get that feeling with all the time.


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## The Sleeping Dragon

I have the same thing. But I realized how destructive behavior is really. When you think nobody - lets say at a party - likes you it may _seem_ as if you don't like anybody at the party. People will pick up on it and BAM; self fulling prophecy.


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## suddentwist

Always. And those feelings intensify if I do something which is, in my mind, stupid, or when I feel like I've failed at something, anything. I often think that the only reason why anyone talks to me is because either they feel obligated to (my family, work related people) or they are just as lonely as I am (everyone else) and I'm better than no one. 

I've been trying to change the way I think about such things for years... and these days, I can accept someone's words, but I think I'm still far away from actually believing when someone says that they enjoy conversing with me or whatever they may say. But any changes you want to make to the way you think takes time, I suppose.


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## JayC123

Not to worry, our kind dont usually live too long, either because we end it, or because our bodies fail us due to the constant stresses, depression and loneliness. Damn this thread is toxic lol


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## To22

:yes:blank

I find it hard not to love people and it's rare that I not like someone. Of course I don't want to be close friends with everyone though.



MadeinLithuania said:


> _Yes. Even than they saying for me that they like me.. I know, that they don't :<_


I don't know you but you seem pretty awesome to me.


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## SweetNSour82

Yep, even my own family. Paranoia!!


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## softshock11

i stopped giving a fudge about people liking me. yayyy


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## Furious Ming

I always feel like everyone hates me to the point where I'll try and think about all the bad things they could be thinking about me and I become convinced that they're actually thinking them.


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## Truly Unloved

*No one has ever liked me*

I am over 60 years old and I feel as though no one has ever liked me, and here is why.

As far back as I can remember my parents were emotionally abusive to me, never told me they loved me, never kissed me good night, never hugged me.
They were physically abusive hitting me with belts, hanger, shoes, twigs. They were verbally abusive calling me names, saying I wasn't worth anything. My dad molested me, and my mom never seemed to want to be around me as we never went anywhere together... shopping or doing any mother/daughter things together. They got mad at me because my paternal grandmother liked me and wanted me to spend time with her and my grandfather on weekends, as my maternal grandmother didn't want me around but always wanted my older brother there with her. My brother always picked on me and told my parents lies about me to get me into trouble. He and my dad use to tease me till I was in tears. One time I ran and hid under the stairs in a cubby in the basement and my dad nailed the door shut. When I kicked the door open and went to my room, they came in teasing me, I threw a book not hitting either of them, but toward them. My dad came over and hit me across the face and almost knocked me out. My jaw since then will lock up at times and will pop really loud.

When I started school I got beat up in kindergarten and got a bloody nose. Kids didn't want to be friends with me.

We were always moving and I was always the new kid in school in the middle of the year. Girls would gang up on me and pick fights with me.

In high school I finally made a good friend and started to become active in cheer leading. But my last year in high school my parents moved to another state, 50 miles from the nearest high school. So I could not attend dances, school events or get involved with school activities. My old friend basically dumped me because we moved away. When I went back, she had made other friends and didn't have time for me.

I met a guy my parents didn't like, and got pregnant, had to marry him. He was physically abusive and would beat me. I tried to leave him but I was told by my parents that that is the way it is and to make the best of it. He died of cancer.

I was depressed and started drinking and doing drugs. I was only 28 at the time, and only people that drank and did drugs had anything to do with me. I moved away from that to find a better life.

I met a man and married, but found out he lied and cheated not only me but other people and had put us into debt with creditors and lawyers coming after us. I divorced him and moved away.

My children: My daughter, who is almost 40, doesn't talk to me and hasn't for almost 2 years, and even my grandchildren have stopped talking to me. I send them birthday cards, money, gifts at Christmas, tried to call but never get to talk to anyone, and try to talk to them on a social media, but they never return messages.

My oldest son left when he was 18 and just in the past 4 years we have mended our relationship. He is now 36.

My younger two boys, they talk to me occasionally, but it is very strained. One lives close but never calls and only comes home from college when he needs laundry done or on semester breaks. While he is here he is constantly on the computer or texting someone oh his phone. But when I've tried to call him, after class hours, he says he doesn't have his phone with him. The other son moved far away and rarely calls me.

I don't expect a call every day or every week, but once a month from my kids would be great just to let me know they are well and doing good. I haven't been able to talk to my grand kids for several years. We have become strangers. The last time I saw them and got to spend time was over 2 years ago. One time my youngest wanted to come to visit, but her mom wouldn't let her, saying they were too busy with activities.

My husband now, of 9 years, sits silently on his computer playing games or "researching" something of interest to him. I've seen him typing, but when I walk over to see what is going on, he immediately closes the window. He has also put a password on his computer. We don't hug, or kiss at all. He is very withdrawn and unaffectionate toward me. We are more like room mates than husband and wife.

I have no friends or family that talks to me. I ALWAYS have to call them, no one will ever call me first. Sometimes I let it go for months to see if anyone would call me or send me a message on the social media or through email... no one does, then I will either call or write to them and they act all happy I contacted them. But I'm always the one contacting someone, no one ever calls or writes to me.

Sometimes I am glad I am as old as I am because I hope that I am close to dying. I feel so alone, so unloved.


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## Clarry

Yeah a feel this way all the time. Even with my best friend. I try to convince myself that it isnt true and that im just being paranoid, but everytime i do, i always find "evidence"againts it. I know i can be very awkward and whenever i say something, i get no response most of the time, and im pretty sure this is the problem. That i cant say anything "right." but i also cant help thinking that i give off some sort of vibe that makes people not want to associate with me. Like im a freak, or a weirdo or something. It definitely hurts and lowers your self esteem so much. But there's really no solution to the problem, right?? Im only 17 at the moment so im still hoping things WILL get better.


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## nork123

I usually assume people don't like me until shown otherwise, and even then the reassurance usually fades away again after a while


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## ICantReallyThinkOfAName

*Holy crap*

I feel that exact same way everyday at school and it gets me really anxious just thinking about it. Then it just doesn't stop until I get home..


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## AngelClare

If your insecurity is "people won't like me" then every little thing they do will seem like evidence that confirms your insecurity. 

I felt terrible Saturday night because a girl I was hanging out with said things that my SA mind interpreted as meaning she doesn't like spending time with me. The next day I spent more time with her but I had to leave to do some work. She practically begged me to stay with her. So, it seems it was all in my heard.


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## christacat

feel like that all the time


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## halb

Yup. But it's not their fault because I'm the one who avoids them so in turn they don't like me either. They probably think I'm an annoying freak.


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## ninjagirl965

Yeah I feel like this to, even when im trying my hardest to be cheerful and polite. I just dont know what im doing wrong, to make everyone dislike me.


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## NightWingLikeABoss

I do regularly (Read: Constantly) feel that nobody likes me, with practically one exception. It sometimes feels like a self-fulfilling prophecy, but then the time comes that people will just treat you like dirt no matter what. Put them on a pedestal, they hate you, treat them like a regular awesome person, they hate you, treat them with basic respect and courtesy, they hate you.


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## scottm79

*re: constantly feeling like......you?*

ok so im really new to web forums so forgive any etiquette faux pas. i really know exactly how all of you feel, its like theres some kind of negative aura around me that everyone else can see but me and no one will tell me what it is but everyone acts the same way like im different or damaged somehow. it can be a real mind f**k because you dont know if its in your head or real. sometimes i could swear by god its real other times i think im just paranoid. its like theres some dark cloud or curse i cant get rid of no matter how hard i try to ignore it and be normal i just cant seem to interact with people without weirding them out somehow. some people dislike me instantly others it takes time but it seems like everyone i meet eventually starts to dislike me. i can feel the weird vibe and i see the looks and its like theyre whole demeanor with me changed and i just want to yell "what motherf**ker!!!!!!????? what the f**k is it?!!!! i didn't do **** to you!!!!! tell me what the hell i did so i can stop doing it!!!! dont just f**king leave me hanging to repeat this f**king cycle u know?i just wish someone would pull me to the side and say look this is what you're doing to rub people the wrong way. anyways this never happens so i throw up a defense mechanism where i say to myself f**k them its not me its their problem but when its almost everyone in your life you start to question what the reality is. i can say ive been full of insecurity for a long time and i dont know what to do about it other than go on some serious drugs. i just cant escape negative feelings no matter what i try. most advice i see on the internet seems too superficial for whats wrong with me, like putting a band aid on a gunshot wound. so thats where im at folks thanks for listening it at least feels good to spew my problems to someone even if it is anonymously over the intertubes. peace and good luck to all of you in defeating your demons. guess im not supposed to cuss it bleeped everything out. haha


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## Shauna

scottm79 said:


> ok so im really new to web forums so forgive any etiquette faux pas. i really know exactly how all of you feel, its like theres some kind of negative aura around me that everyone else can see but me and no one will tell me what it is but everyone acts the same way like im different or damaged somehow. it can be a real mind f**k because you dont know if its in your head or real. sometimes i could swear by god its real other times i think im just paranoid. its like theres some dark cloud or curse i cant get rid of no matter how hard i try to ignore it and be normal i just cant seem to interact with people without weirding them out somehow. some people dislike me instantly others it takes time but it seems like everyone i meet eventually starts to dislike me. i can feel the weird vibe and i see the looks and its like theyre whole demeanor with me changed and i just want to yell "what motherf**ker!!!!!!????? what the f**k is it?!!!! i didn't do **** to you!!!!! tell me what the hell i did so i can stop doing it!!!! dont just f**king leave me hanging to repeat this f**king cycle u know?i just wish someone would pull me to the side and say look this is what you're doing to rub people the wrong way. anyways this never happens so i throw up a defense mechanism where i say to myself f**k them its not me its their problem but when its almost everyone in your life you start to question what the reality is. i can say ive been full of insecurity for a long time and i dont know what to do about it other than go on some serious drugs. i just cant escape negative feelings no matter what i try. most advice i see on the internet seems too superficial for whats wrong with me, like putting a band aid on a gunshot wound. so thats where im at folks thanks for listening it at least feels good to spew my problems to someone even if it is anonymously over the intertubes. peace and good luck to all of you in defeating your demons. guess im not supposed to cuss it bleeped everything out. haha


I could have written all of this. Happens to me on and offline....thats why i just stay to myself..remain a loner for the rest of my life untill i finally die and make everybody happy.

My therapist says it all in my head,its the anxiety,etc..but i know its real. I've experienced it all my life. Its like i'm a disease nobody wants to catch. I hate being alive.


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## The Sleeping Dragon

I've got almost the same thing. But when time passes by, lets say at a new work environment, I do bond with people and I tend to get better and better socially. The worst is the first few months when I have to build something up from scratch. I'm horrible in those situations.

But with girls I always seem to feel they don't like me, think I'm ugly, pathetic, dumb you name it. I can't conceive of the notion that a girl could be attractive to me in any way. Ofcourse I'm aware of this and I also know that this is not realistic. But I can't stop feeling it. I really am my worst enemy. Especially when I like a certain girl. I torment myself with my flaws, and I don't even know which flaws are real or not. Am I really dumb? Am I really ugly? Probebly not as bad as I think. But I still feel it despite of me being logical about it. I can't ever have a relationship this way. I can't see myself living another decade like this without doing something drastic.


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## Invisigirl

Tess4u said:


> I recently posted on a thread and someone gave me really good advice, maybe the reason why we assume everyone hates us is because we still haven't learn to love ourselves. To me it made perfect sense, i don't like myself and therefore how do i expect other people to like me if i cant give what i want to receive to myself. Im going to work on as well.


This is a good point. I believe this is called projection -- when we project our own feelings onto other people and think they feel the same way.

If feelings of unwantedness give off vibes that drive people away, the only solution I can think of is to develop a better self-perception, or at least pretend to be happy and confident.

*Sigh* I'd better brush up on my acting skills. :no


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## RonBurgundy

I am 35 years old and since I was probably 6, as far back as I can remember, people didn't like me. Kids in first grade didn't like me and probably already found something wrong with the off-putting vibe I was throwing out there. My sister never contacts me for basically my entire adult life. My dad when I talk to him will often ignore me and walk away. My best friend (and only friend for the past 10 years) makes zero effort to call me or want to get together. His wife really hates me, I am convinced of it. I have to reach out to basically all of my family members or friends' first, they never seem to contact me on their own. 

In the past year or so, I have started thinking there has been a curse on me because people I meet have always had such negative feelings about me and I have zero ability to make friends or fit in to ANY kind of society/community/group. Every time I join some group, it ends horribly. I make no friends, only enemies it seems. The one's who don't hate me seem to be uneasy or creeped out by me. My neighbors all seem to hate me, too. Can anyone tell me if possibly there is a curse on me? Or if I just have extremely bad luck? I don't want to be alone, and I know I give off bad vibes sometimes. I can't get inside people's heads, but I am convinced that no one likes me, so I avoid all new situations and stay in my room. Can anyone give advice?


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## kent0

i feel this like everyday. even if i know someone loves me, that effect goes away. I feel lone again and those feelings come again. I dont think there is anyway to overcome this feeling unless we try to show love and kindness toward other people like family without expecting anything back and once you make others feel loved and maybe it will make us feel the same way.


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## Melanie J

I feel like this when im at Uni sometimes. One day, I'm all friends with everyone and nothings wrong, then the next day its like no one wants anything to do with me. Maybe there's something wrong with me. I hate feeling like this...


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## tristatejosh

I do feel this type of way. I feel like for some reason whatever I do is wrong and people find a way to dislike me about it. And previous incidences that happened to me with close friends turning on me only adds more fire to the flame. 

It is an irrational thought that definitely needs to go. I've learned to let go a little more, but it takes time.


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## losteternal

Everyone hates me its like i have p1ss off tattoed on my forehead. No idea why.


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## FXiles

No one likes me. But I can't really blame them I guess.


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## Dissonance

Everyone hates me man, it sucks. They put a front that they don't but they do.


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## Lex Love

Its such a horrible feeling thinking that noone likes you, its like you want to be confident enough to socialise with people but the SA makes you doubt yourself so much that you end up giving off the vibe that your not interested and in some cases people think your weird or strange. Once people are narrow enough to pigeon hole you in one of those categories they have absolutely no interest in interacting with you at all, this then reinforces your thoughts of being not liked. All I can say is if your in that kind of environment where people are being like that then use it as practice and think to yourself what have you got to lose if people already think/assume what you fear they would think of you anyway.


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## Orchestrated

Toppington said:


> *I always convince myself that everyone probably hates me* when I'm out somewhere, so I should *always act like they do and avoid annoying them by talking to them or being around them at all.* Same goes for the internet.* I'm just not a very likeable person.* I get that. Having tons of friends was never something I've been very interested in anyway. If I can eventually find a few people that don't hate me, I'll be perfectly content with that alone as far as friends go.


Almost exactly how I feel.

I'm unlikable so why even try talking to people? I'll annoy them. I'm not smart enough. Attractive enough. I'm not _enough_. I've almost convinced myself that I don't want to talk to people anyway. When really, it's probably _them_ that don't want to talk to _me_.
:roll


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## CoolRanch

I used to feel like that sometimes. As I've gotten a bit older I honestly don't care if they do or not, at this point I'm content being a loner.


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## Karsten

I've had my moments, but it's just a delusion. I've spent too much time seeking validation from people who had nothing to offer me anyway.


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## Staticnz

Generally I am liked, in my opinion. But this doesn't magically equal huge popularity and a swathe of friends. Turns out it just means I've got a lot of acquaintances. Which can be kinda depressing.

People who get to know me much better, slowly learn how messed up I am.


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## fogged2

I feel like this all the time. No matter who it is, I feel like I am a disgust/burden. 
My worst moment is with family. I'm uncomfortable doing anything (anything) around them. I know it's most likely all in my head but I can't logically shake the feeling.


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## scottm79

*starting to see some progress*

ok this will be a pretty long post but i think it just might help some people out there like it did me. my mom left my abusive father when i was 2 yrs old. my earliest memory in life is sitting in a chair in the living room of our tiny house and crying as i watched him punch smack choke my mom and punching holes in the wall flipping over the coffee table etc. my moms first boyfriend after that became my stepfather who constantly beat and tormented me when my mom was not around i.e. at work or the store whatever. i had to go to a babysitter while they worked and the babysitter was also abusive and mean and would lock me in a closet or make me stand in a corner all day until my came to pick me up then she was all smiles and nice. this was all before i even started kindergarten. needless to say my life off to a pretty sh*tty start. once i started school i already had low self esteem and a lot of anger and anxiety even at that young age. this caused me to act out and get in fights with other kids and get in even more trouble which contributed to even lower self esteem. i was bullied and tormented by other kids all throughout my school years and was never able to form friendships or belong to cliques or have girlfriends like normally adjusted kids. the pervasive feeling of being inadequate inferior abnormal damaged etc. followed me into my teen and adult life i have left a trail of broken relationships my whole life. a life of unbelievable turmoil that i could spend months typing this. the point to telling all of this is the things that happen to you early in life can set the emotional tone for the rest of it. i can now say with absolute certainty that all of our problems stem from a faulty self image that has been pummeled into our psyche at a deep level when we were at our most vulnerable moment in life. i have had a serious epiphany recently after i started the practice of meditation. folks if you havent tried or ever heard of it, i HIGHLY recommend you get into it. it has helped me more than anything i have ever tried. the purpose of meditation for those who are clueless is to attempt to keep your attention focused on the present and be a witness to your thoughts instead of being locked into them and carried away by them. the realization that it helped me come to is that i have been going through life in almost every waking moment in a state of mental agitation. you must first become aware of the constant low level negative emotional energy i.e. anxiety fear worry etc. as they are happening in real time. observe these feelings and let them come and go but do not become them and identify with them as yourself. the problem is we think that we ARE those feelings. this is the first hurdle to overcome. the truth is that you do cannot control what thoughts and emotions come into your head anymore than you can control your heart beating. thoughts are something that happen to you spontaneously outside of your control. the realization of this is the first step shedding them off like a snake sheds off old dead skin. the problem is that thoughts can generate intense emotions that are hard to overcome. i promise you guys this is the absolute truth. the source of all anger and anxiety is from a faulty sense of self, or self image. you are NOT the things that have happened to you in life. when you have a belief that "bad things have happened to me so i must be a loser" you continue to carry those negative feelings in your subconscious mind with you and act accordingly. this is the first faulty belief you must break free from to ever see any permanent positive change. after we realize that we have this constant whining complaining angry worrying never satisfied never shuts the f up voice in our head can we have any control over it. this voice is what keep your sense of self tethered to negative events in the past and preventing you from being happy now. starting to observe this voice has done more for me than any therapy or drugs. this takes dedication and practice of meditation i.e. WORK but it can be done. one quote i will leave you with is "the more personal the more universal" which means the more you think you are the only one who is going through this, the more likely hood that there are millions of others going through the same thing. the problems we have are universal no one is alone. i also recommend a book that has helped me tremendously "mind os" by dr. paul dobransky. keep up the good fight people


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## PandaBearx

Yes I experience that allot, I'm not sure if it's just from the anxiety or other factors come into play, but sometimes even when people are kind to me I can't stop a small thought in the back of my head from thinking that the person is "faking" it and in reality hates my guts. It's kind of a negative view that I've gotten better at ignoring, but it's still there unfortunately.


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## inerameia

I feel unlikeable therefore I don't understand how anyone would like me or care about me. When someone's nice to me I wonder if there's a hidden agenda or something. It's irrational but it's powerful. It's hard to reason my way out of feelings. If only it were that easy. Thanks for the post scottm79


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## Raeden

When people talk to me, I generally just figure that either they want free tutoring or they just feel bad for me. I don't really blame them, even I think that I'm rather annoying.


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## lwubbels04

Hi I know this is a really old post but I feel the same way. Especially today I've noticed that my husband all my aqaintances and my relatives seem like they're embarrassed of me or try to ignore me or maybe I'm annoying to them. I actually try to be kind and giving and self sacraficing those are daily goals I try to pursue. I think the reason no one likes me is just because I'm awkward they don't understand mySA and they feel uncomfortable interacting with me . Thanks for your post! Try to take care


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## jesse93

Yea, especially with my coworkers at my new job, they always sit there and laugh with each other, they always say how are you, start up a convo with everyone, besides me I'm always kind of left out in everything at my work, people seem to intentionally avoid talking to me, unless they have too, even when I go to my local grocery store, this one guy always tells everyone to have a great day, but when I come around he completely ignores me and gives me a dirty look, idk if it's a vibe I give off or what, but it really makes me feel depressed. :/


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## DomeAloud

Yeah i'm in the same boat. On forums, in real life, no one likes me. People ignore me, it's like i'm a ghost.


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## mishima

I think most people with social anxiety feel that way. This afternoon I came back home from college and cried for half an hour nonstop because the only girl who is willing to talk to me over there was being weird to me. Normal people don't do that, for christ's sake.


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## Moolissa

*Same here*

Don't feel bad. I feel the exact same way every day and the way I got over it was to realize that a lot of the negative assumptions I have about what people are thinking are purely made up in my head. When you start to give people the benefit of the doubt and realize that everyone around you is as complicated as you are and has tons of personal stuff going on in their head and their life that you will never know about, you realize that often when people act or respond in ways that seem rude or anti social or just plain like they don't like you, it often has nothing to do with you at all, but rather something totally different going on in their head.

The reason I say this is that I've actually asked people before why they don't like me/act like they don't like me and often the answer I get is that they had no idea they were giving off that vibe and it was completely unintentional. Instead, they often have way bigger personal issues on their mind that makes them come across that way. So in general, give people the benefit of the doubt.  Everyone is as complicated as you are and has tons of worries and anxieties of their own. It took me ages to realize this but it really helps to keep in mind. Best of luck with everything.


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## Sarah27

I get this very often. In fact I used to work in a bar just so people had to spend time with me. It was like pretending I had friends cause otherwise I'd just be sat at home alone. Being at work made me feel like I was socialising and had people around me. My family care deep down I guess, at least that's what we're always told, but they don't ever want me around so I'm not entirely convinced of this. I'm not sure what I've done or how I act that makes everyone feel this way about me. I self analyse all the time and I know I mess up sometimes but not ALWAYS. Often I can make friends but it only takes a couple of weeks/months before they're bored of me and the ignoring, making plans without me, telling me they're sick and then meeting up with our other friends. I don't know what to do anymore.


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## Babyboo12

Yeah that's what all my life is about actually sometimes feel people talk about me behing me or do some mumble , just remember sometime people make some bad comment didn't take to heart but personally yeah my teraphist say I'm being paranoid wich I thinks it's not me I seriously feel they hate me that why have some acttitud with me sometimes people stared to long or just plain ignore me if I talk , or just laugh from far away hear laughs to tally iknow it's about me , or they look salty look if trying to try new style they hate me. Totally hate me but I just need to learn to cope with this some people really make feel bad with some actitud. But. I learn to accept it they just hate me I'm happy they way I am unless they make really feel inferior than them


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## Diamonds90

I don't think the issue is that people really don't like you. I think other people feel very insecure about themselves already and as a person with social anxiety our body language appears to be distant,un open and un interested. Our discomfort with ourselves makes them also feel uncomfortable and as if u don't like them. People now a days are very independent and closed off from others. Most of the time other people don't notice how weird you feel about yourself or your anxiety because they are focused on themselves and the way they appear to you. They are just not experiencing the same anxiety as you. It's the way we think and view ourselves that makes us push people away. 
It's a vicious circle where negative thoughts and fears of rejection come in and we put up our defences and coping skills and by doing so are pushing other's away. It all starts with our thinking and our confidence. If we go into a situation already feeling negative and anxious than your going to be distant if you go into a situation with confidence and positive thinking we will appear to be alot more inviting to others.


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## dotBSC

First of all, if you aren't one of those who quickly gets angry and hostile at people, most likely they have nothing against you personally. The reason they are "avoiding" you, is because they get uncomfortable and insecure themselves around you. It's much easier to connect with outgoing than shy people, even the most outgoing people can get awkward around shy ones, so they choose to keep a distance instead. What comes from it next is that coworkers tend to socialize with people they are already familiar with. Now back to the cause - shyness - it's a extremely broad term (on one end - severe anxiety disorders (several) at once which prevent you from even leaving the house, on another - slight discomfort) so don't assume that you must completely stop being shy in order to get the 'desired popularity'. As a first step I would suggest working on self acceptance, which may seem counterintuitive, but it is extremely helpful in developing your personality.


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## cybernaut

If they don't like you, then f.ck them. Not everyone in life will like you. I cannot even count the number of people who received bad vibes from me for no reason anymore.


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## throwaway2424

I know the feeling all too well, at times I don't even know anymore if it really is like that or if its just mental now. Only with me it's not a matter of being liked or disliked but a matter of being looked down upon. Years of not being taken seriously and being patronized in middle school and high school because I was the really short and really skinny guy who developed much later than the other guys. I just isolated myself from other people because I assume they don't want me around.


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## linux individual

This video by Jad has helped me a lot lately!


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## Tiffiduliu

I used to feel this way when I was younger but over time as I developed self confidence and learn to be comfortable in my own skin, the feeling went away. And even if I felt that way now, I wouldn't care because I am happy with who I am.


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## chesirebaa5000

OneLove21 said:


> If they don't like you, then f.ck them. Not everyone in life will like you. I cannot even count the number of people who received bad vibes from me for no reason anymore.


That's basically my attitude on this issue :laugh:. I think when you find a purpose, you basically forgo all the people who come up with BS to use against you. Sometimes it is disheartening to know that people really do not like you, but in the end you just say "so it goes."

But yeah, there's a psychological side in looks, aura, charisma, etc. People do not only find ways to dislike you, they BELIEVE in their first impressions and profilings far more than they themselves think. The people who say they "don't judge" are lying through their teeth 90% of the time. And then when they try to talk to you (whether or not they like or dislike you), they use confirmation bias to judge your character.

To sum it all up, people think you have bad vibes or whatever because they really believe that you do (and therefore you have to completely prove them wrong in order to change their minds). Again, this is where looks, aura, and charisma comes in.


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## cybernaut

chesirebaa5000 said:


> That's basically my attitude on this issue :laugh:. I think when you find a purpose, you basically forgo all the people who come up with BS to use against you. Sometimes it is disheartening to know that people really do not like you, but in the end you just say "so it goes."
> 
> But yeah, there's a psychological side in looks, aura, charisma, etc. People do not only find ways to dislike you, they BELIEVE in their first impressions and profilings far more than they themselves think. The people who say they "don't judge" are lying through their teeth 90% of the time. And then when they try to talk to you (whether or not they like or dislike you), they use confirmation bias to judge your character.
> 
> To sum it all up, people think you have bad vibes or whatever because they really believe that you do (and therefore you have to completely prove them wrong in order to change their minds). Again, this is where looks, aura, and charisma comes in.


I wholeheartedly agree. People will always stick to their first impression of you. 

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/


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## Katylouise93

does anyone else only get it during parts of the year? I always feel like I'm loosing my friends and I'm hated at work around this time of the year. 
I hate it! I thought it was due to eduction but I've left education now so I can't blame it on exam stress. I just can't seem to connect to people around this time of year.


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## HimynamesT

I spent the best years of my life doing drugs since I was sixteen I'm about to turn 21 next week. I always made more time to do drugs than to hold my friendships to gather and now I have developed social anxiety its always been there but now its got so out of hand nobody wants to know me. For the past 3 years I have struggled with social situations and the only person I felt comfortable with was a work mate. He left the job in January and I put that down to me talking to much about how I felt with life so that had a big impact on me I too. I now hardly ever speak to people about myself and I can tell they don't really want to know and that's were the paranoia from drugs comes into it because I felt like he was telling them everything anyway. I wish I had a time machine man what a mess I've got myself into haha. Do you guys see a way of ever coming out of this mindset for the past couple of months I've lost a lot of hope for my future and the only thing that's stopping me from doing something stupid is my sister and mother. Any advice guys and gals because anyone who actually knows me doesn't want to know me anymore.


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## cumulonimbus

Oh, yes and people stare at me like if i were some kind of strange thing and that just fuels my axiety...


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## Beast And The Harlot

I know for a fact that people don't like me. I've known since I was a child and was neglected by my family. School was certainly no different.


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## SilentKitten

Im the same way. But on top of that i feel like anyone who is nice to me just wants to use me
Example: my old MDMA dealer would alwayse act like were good friends and would bring up new products he was getting in conversation all the time


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## rachse11

Yes, with almost everyone I meet. I Remember one time my best friends, friend was hanging hanging with us. Im always quiet, not my mind though I'd be thinking about things to say but I wouldn't end up saying anything really because I honestly when I do say something it ends up coming out dumb as hell. Like I would say something that doesn't make sense and I talk quietly. But anyway, I felt like he didn't like me for some reason and when we left I asked my best friend "does he not like me because I feel like he doesn't.. she said" he doesn't have a problem with you, why would you say that" I dont why.. I just feel like he didn't like me. The way he looked at me and the way he wouldn't even make conversation with me.


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## PrincessV

Well make sure you're checking to see if your physical body is being taken care of.

Like hygiene. That can cause people to instantly think negatively about you.

I tend to feel people act nice around me, I see people look at me, and I look back thinking, "hmm are they interested in me?" xD I feel so pretentious.


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## SusanStorm

Yes,and it has always been a big problem for me. I go into to every situation thinking "no one will like me",and that causes me to feel like I need to protect myself and feeling defensive. That probably gives other people the feeling like I don't like them. It's a vicious circle that keeps going on and on,but I'm trying to do something about it.

It's not easy though because I'm so used to thinking and feeling like this.


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## AffinityWing

I don't have almost anything likable about me, so I don't see how I would be liked generally. My voice tends to get very high-pitched and squirrelly when talking in public, which must sound annoying as hell and on the other hand lately I've started noticing I've been unconsciously speaking out rudely more. It was only some ways in which I ended up replying to teachers, but I felt horribly self-conscious afterwards on how I must've come off.


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## naes

Duke of Prunes said:


> Yep. I even get that with friends, but it's worse around strangers.
> 
> I definitely think it's partly true that we give off some kind of vibe, but I also think that it's a vicious circle and it begins with the initial, irrational feeling that we're unwanted which leads to the seemingly-unfriendly behaviour that gives off the aforementioned vibe, which causes people to react to us negatively, in turn reinforcing the initial anxiety.
> 
> In my case, my friends don't react to my anxious behaviour the same way strangers do, so the anxiety isn't reinforced and is more manageable, but around strangers, it can be pretty bad. It all depends on how they react, the vibe they give off (certain people are more likely to trigger the initial fear, I find) and the mood I'm in.
> 
> Of course speed, MDMA, a bit of weed, opiates, benzos and alcohol all prevent this from happening in the first place.


All at once!? lol


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## naes

PrincessV said:


> Well make sure you're checking to see if your physical body is being taken care of.
> 
> Like hygiene. That can cause people to instantly think negatively about you.
> 
> I tend to feel people act nice around me, I see people look at me, and I look back thinking, "hmm are they interested in me?" xD I feel so pretentious.


Maybe you are just hot.


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## naes

HimynamesT said:


> I spent the best years of my life doing drugs since I was sixteen I'm about to turn 21 next week. I always made more time to do drugs than to hold my friendships to gather and now I have developed social anxiety its always been there but now its got so out of hand nobody wants to know me. For the past 3 years I have struggled with social situations and the only person I felt comfortable with was a work mate. He left the job in January and I put that down to me talking to much about how I felt with life so that had a big impact on me I too. I now hardly ever speak to people about myself and I can tell they don't really want to know and that's were the paranoia from drugs comes into it because I felt like he was telling them everything anyway. I wish I had a time machine man what a mess I've got myself into haha. Do you guys see a way of ever coming out of this mindset for the past couple of months I've lost a lot of hope for my future and the only thing that's stopping me from doing something stupid is my sister and mother. Any advice guys and gals because anyone who actually knows me doesn't want to know me anymore.


Just think, if you weren't on drugs you might have just been bored and anxious the entire time, so no loss really.


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## primalrose

All day, every day pretty much. Feels like a stab in the heart every time your fears of being unliked are actually realized. Had some co-workers call me fat behind my back and simply avoid talking to me one time. I knew it was because I didn't smile enough and talk enough to them, I was just too anxious. Starved myself for the entire day that day due to feeling worthless.


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## naes

primalrose said:


> All day, every day pretty much. Feels like a stab in the heart every time your fears of being unliked are actually realized. Had some co-workers call me fat behind my back and simply avoid talking to me one time. I knew it was because I didn't smile enough and talk enough to them, I was just too anxious. Starved myself for the entire day that day due to feeling worthless.


Sounds like your co-workers are a bunch of azzholes.


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## Tobi Atkins

I felt nervous around most people so I wouldn't talk, and I heard several times people tell me they thought I was a snob or arrogant, when in reality I was uncomfortable making small talk. 

Now I tell myself I can't control how others feel about me, it's 100% out of my control, some people will judge me based on their brief experience of me, but thats not who I really am. I try to put less importance on what others think of me.


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## lonerroom

I already know I am not liked I don't need to think it.


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## Invisiblehandicap

Its not a feeling, I can read facial expressions and micro expressions and tone of voice. Seeing a concieted or disguted microexpression + the hateful eyes the second I look at someone is the only evidence I need to attest to their character. Nothing wrong with me most of the time. I admit my past behaviour of avoidance has hurt others that did not deserve it ( few and far between) because I did not trust anyone. I have rejected plenty of people and I do not know how many of these people were geniune because I could not read facial expressions properly at the time. I admit that I rejected plenty of people under the proviso that I had social anxiety and that I am a hypocrite for suggesting that people should not reject me based on whatever problems they have. I can tell a lot of the time if someone has social anxiety now. *Thats their choice if they want to avoid me, their loss*. I will not persue any further because that will drag me down too. There are plenty of other friends that I can make. Thats why I just deal with it. I love myself and thats all that matters. I dont need to take rejection personally. Thats just life.


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## Lex Love

Hey are u serious about the MDMA? I know recreational drugs are not encouraged but I am intrigued about its affects on SA


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## Fun Spirit

I really don't care if someone don't like me.
Its their problem. I know I didn't do anything to them for them to dislike me. I simply ignore them. Not everyone is going to like me.


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## Tymes Rhymes

I do get that feeling quite often. Whenever I make an effort to connect with people, online or irl, it usually fails and I just get a feeling that no one likes me. In actuality, I realized that they don't like or hate me; they just don't give a **** about me.


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