# Avoiding internet arguments.



## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

This may not be directly related to SA, but it is about making a positive change in my life, so I thought I'd post it here. 

I'm trying to stay away from internet arguments completely. That includes participating in and reading them. Although I haven't been in one for a while, it's difficult to resist the urge to read them. Nothing good can possibly come out of them though, so why bother with all the stress involved?

Gonna try to do this by ignoring certain forums here (don't think I need to explain which ones) and on my tumblr, unfollowing any blog involved in arguments. Wish me luck


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## RubixQ (Jul 29, 2014)

Godspeed Corporal, Godspeed


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

inb4someonetriestopickafightwithyou


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

I used to have a really bad "internet argument addiction". I would literally hang out on forums just to pick fights with people. (I used to call it "justice". :lol)

I think avoiding them is probably a good thing. I've been trying really hard not to engage, but I've been slipping a bit lately. Need to get back on the wagon.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

Sin said:


> I don't agree with your signature


:b


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

Good luck with that. But sometimes others are picking a fight with you even if you try to mind your own business. There will always be at least one person to interpret your posts in their own way and hate your guts for it. Just give it enough time.


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## losthismarbles (Jul 5, 2014)

Corporal Clegg said:


> This may not be directly related to SA, but it is about making a positive change in my life, so I thought I'd post it here.
> 
> I'm trying to stay away from internet arguments completely. That includes participating in and reading them. Although I haven't been in one for a while, it's difficult to resist the urge to read them. Nothing good can possibly come out of them though, so why bother with all the stress involved?
> 
> Gonna try to do this by ignoring certain forums here (don't think I need to explain which ones) and on my tumblr, unfollowing any blog involved in arguments. Wish me luck


You're wrong! D=<

jk lol

well sort of kidding. Wouldn't it be better to try looking at them and _then_ not arguing or better yet try defusing peoples arguments, or just agree with people when they say something you agree with but just don't comment on stuff you don't agree with. Try that for like a month. If you just ignore them you won't get better about dealing with it, because it's pretty much everywhere now.

also this


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## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

Thanks for the suggestion, though I'm still convinced that internet arguments are too toxic to learn anything from. That and the fact I have a bad habit of arguing in my head, imagining what I would say if I were involved and all that. (Does that sound like maladaptive daydreaming?)


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## lisac1919 (Jul 20, 2013)

Omg me!

I need to do this too! its almost like road rage or something...I tend to do it when im in a bad mood. Since I live alone and don't have anyone to argue with ill go to some controversial youtube video just to argue! How pathetic is that?? Im so glad someone brought this up! Its very hard to stop...and I end up getting embarrassed the next day and turn off my notifications so I don't have to look at whatever sweeping generalization I most likely made just because I was so heated.

I tried doing the 'exposure' technique....where I would force myself to face controversial comments or tv shows or youtube videos or what have you, but no matter how I tried SOMETHING would get to me and I would just end up in a horrible mood. I don't know how to prevent something from offending me like that...the urge to leave a very negative comment or argue becomes so strong! But I guess it is a good technique. I just don't see the point in purposely making yourself feel bad, how is that growth? You have to somehow practice not getting offended, which is very hard to do.

Avoiding it altogether may also be good. Avoidance is usually not a good thing to do but the internet might be an exception. 

Oh and I know I have maladaptive daydreaming for sure, I a member on several MD forums...I think internet arguing does have an effect on it. For me, ill continue the argument with imaginary people, or just in my mind....because there is a satisfaction from people listening to my opinions, whether theyre imaginary or not lol.


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## Dre12 (Jul 25, 2014)

truant said:


> I used to have a really bad "internet argument addiction". I would literally hang out on forums just to pick fights with people. (I used to call it "justice". :lol)
> 
> I think avoiding them is probably a good thing. I've been trying really hard not to engage, but I've been slipping a bit lately. Need to get back on the wagon.


I noticed you very much on the front foot in a debate the other day and was a little surprised as you are usually very diplomatic.

As for myself, I need to be less of a tosser I think. I need to be more empathetic and less egotistical in my online dealings.


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## 2Milk (Oct 29, 2014)

I gave up arguing online a while ago. I'm always right so what's the point.


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## Pseudo Lone Wolf (Jun 14, 2013)

I've had a period of my life where I would argue with random people on facebook groups and forums on the internet. For me it was a combination of obsessivity, insecurity and self-righteousness which manifested as "inability to let go of the need to be right". Some of you can guess how torturing it is for a SA person who gets down by the slightest amount of criticism or offense. I was constantly hesitating between the fight-flight response which was really bad for my sanity. I've had relatives implying I was mentally ill even though I was greatly objective in my arguments  It was just that I was obsessive and that's what people perceived.

The solution in my opinion is to acknowledge that your need to argue comes from your self-righteousness basically. People don't argue to learn or find answers. And no one's idea changes in a 15 minute argument. There are deeper psychological processes behind human behaviors some of which are very long thus won't change in an argument. I mean someone who based his identity on "concept X" for years will be resistant to change even though someone points out his inconsistencies.


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## ilovejehovah777 (Apr 16, 2013)

That's wonderful I'm doing the same thing. Sometimes reading comments on the internet is a waste of time because usually it's a bunch of ignorant garbage written by a whole lot of low life cowardly people.


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## jackgates (Feb 17, 2015)

Thanks, this is inspirational thread. I want to stop arguing online and in real life too.

Nothing good comes from this, makes you feel bad. I'm talking about when I'm clearely right and some people think they know more about the subject than top experts, so ironically they don't know much and they insult me and call me stupid. 

So, I lose confidence in my abilities when I get outnumbered by people who are clearly wrong. And those are people that are my friends and I respect them. 

Nothing good comes from arguing. It's a lose-lose situation.


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## Esteban (Dec 8, 2014)

I find that one of the best ways to avoid internet arguments from getting to me is to make light of it. If I'm not amused while arguing or discussing something with someone, I'm doing it wrong.


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## Squirrelevant (Jul 27, 2008)

probably offline said:


> inb4someonetriestopickafightwithyou


Damn it!


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## Choci Loni (May 12, 2011)

Duty Calls


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## Pseudo Lone Wolf (Jun 14, 2013)

Esteban said:


> I find that one of the best ways to avoid internet arguments from getting to me is to make light of it. If I'm not amused while arguing or discussing something with someone, I'm doing it wrong.


I want to be able to take things lightly sometimes but I just can't. It is like an addiction. I think after a lifetime of feeling insignificant this urge to feel good about yourself becomes so compulsive.



Choci Loni said:


> Duty Calls


This is still so funny even though I saw it many times before. Haha


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## RubixQ (Jul 29, 2014)

@Choci Loni Brilliant!


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## Zyriel (May 20, 2011)

Argument or debate? Argument is usually just pointless for trivial matters, which often ends up in a stupid pissing match. But debate, sometimes people just need a healthy dose of factual information, logic, or skepticism, when the gauntlet is thrown down. Which also sometimes ends up in new insights and such. Other times, it's just a waste of time lol, as you go round in circles like two wolves sniffing each others *** lmao. Oh and goodluck OP, in your ignoring things, or rather picking your fights with care^^


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## Umpalumpa (Jan 26, 2014)

probably offline said:


> inb4someonetriestopickafightwithyou


Damn, you ruined it for me.
Was it really that expected?


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