# Corrupt-A-Wish Forum Game



## Cloze (Jul 18, 2011)

A user makes a wish, then the following user grants it, but it’s corrupted (NOT the opposite), and then makes a wish himself, etc.
Example:
User 1: I wish for some beer
User 2: It’s poisoned, and upon drinking it you die. I wish to play a game of golf
User 3: You hit yourself in the balls with your golfstick.I wish for a taco.Etc, etc.
I’ll start:
I wish for a world peace.


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

The peace is brought on by a worldwide authoritarian government that has ruthlessly suppressed any dissension and the hope that goes with it.

I wish for unlimited intelligence.


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## Cloze (Jul 18, 2011)

Granted: Your skulls explodes from the added neurons that supply your unlimited intelligence. 

I wish that the person who grants my wish be happy.


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

Granted: My happiness is guaranteed by the subjugation of others, including yourself.

I wish for cost efficient fusion technology.


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## Cloze (Jul 18, 2011)

Granted: Nuclear fusion becomes cost efficient, however, solar photovoltaic is even cheaper.

I wish for all life in the universe to end!


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

Granted: Life ending in this universe creates life in the next universe that is identical to ours. or the many worlds theory is correct and even though this universe ends, all of our other possible universes are unaffected. I like both my my answers I came up with so take your pick haha

I wish that I had unlimited money.


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## Cloze (Jul 18, 2011)

Granted: You gain unlimited money. However, all the money that you spend is stolen from poor children, orphans, and subsistence farmers in Africa.

I wish for a nonpoisonous and hypoallergenic peanutbutter and jelly sandwich.


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

Granted: The acceptance and subsequent mastication of the pb&j sandwich represents a binding contractual obligation to commit acts of terrorism/ The overly sanitary sandwich leaves your body unprepared,having not generated new anti-bodies for a virus that suddenly appears. The antibodies were present in all other pb&j sandwiches across the globe.

I wish for an end to social anxiety.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

Granted: You are cured of social anxiety disorder.


You have also taken fifty hits of MDMA and you are now going around hugging everyone in the convenience stores around town....people are just trying to get to work ffs. They need their coffee. You, however think it's free hugs day and you will not leave them alone. Cops are called and you get arrested. You're banned from 7-11. Forever.


I wish I was getting laid right now.


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## Cloze (Jul 18, 2011)

[DANG ET]Granted: Your social anxiety is no more... but you descend into life long episode of mania that: increases the level of esteem and grandiosity to levels that alienate you from your family and friends, makes you so talkative people actively avoid your presence, fills your head with so many ideas of what you could do, increases your level of distractibility to levels akin to extreme ADHD, and reduces your inhibition to the point that you feel compelled to engage in risky activities such as unprotected sex with prostitutes and gambling.



TenYears said:


> Granted: You are cured of social anxiety disorder.
> 
> You have also taken fifty hits of MDMA and you are now going around hugging everyone in the convenience stores around town....people are just trying to get to work ffs. They need their coffee. You, however think it's free hugs day and you will not leave them alone. Cops are called and you get arrested. You're banned from 7-11. Forever.
> 
> I wish I was getting laid right now.


Granted: You're being laid by me and I'm tearing that booty up something good. ;D

I wish for this wish to not exist.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

Be careful what you wish for. Ffs.


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

Granted: You have destroyed the law of noncontradiction, thus destroying logic itself. Since logic is not longer applicable, casualty can therefore be violated. This new world is impossible to understand, and almost as impossible to live in.

I wish I was always well rested without needing any sleep.


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## Cloze (Jul 18, 2011)

Granted: You always feel rested without needing any sleep... but you only _*feel *_rested. In actuality, your body is being destroyed from the inside out and is aging at a drastically accelerated rate.

I wish for the ability to generate bitcoins at will through the block-chain accounting process in a way that does not affect it's price.


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

Granted: you generate inordinate amounts of bitcoin. however, since bitcoin is a fiat currency and you have by an oder of magnitude more than anyone else could ever hope to have, people loose faith in bitcoin and choose not to accept it. If that violates your price rule then: Coinye all of a sudden becomes much more popular than bitcoin. bitcoin is forever thrust from the public's mind as coinye is the new cryptocurrency everyone is fawning over.

I wish for an end to world hunger, using natural foods and processes. No Soylent Green shenanigans.


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## Baldy Nohairs (Jun 20, 2015)

Granted: But everyone can't stop throwing up.

I wish to be 4 inches taller to reach my dream height of 6'7".


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## Cloze (Jul 18, 2011)

Granted: You are now 6'7". However you grew four inches within one week and experienced excruciating pain that nearly drove you to suicide. You are now bound to a wheelchair for the rest of your life as your new found height has rendered your bones brittle as chalk!

I wish for humanity to become a psychically linked so that everyone everywhere is aware of what everyone else is thinking.


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## Baldy Nohairs (Jun 20, 2015)

(I was actually going like, ok... yeah, I can handle excruciating pain and what not... then you said wheel chair and I totes lost interest)

Granted: But the thoughts of some of the stupidest people in the world cause your brain to literally explode.

I wish I could pilot a helicopter by tomorrow.


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## Baldy Nohairs (Jun 20, 2015)

Ungranted: Error 404 wish could not be wished upon.

I wish it was always 67-75 degrees outside.


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

Granted: The entire earth is heated to 67-75 degree and almost everyone dies from either flooding or a lack of resources brought on by flooding. 

I wish for a healthy back.


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## Baldy Nohairs (Jun 20, 2015)

Granted: But your hands are almost uncoordinated.

I wish to have a very successful career within 5-10 years from now.


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

Granted: You have a relatively successful career as a migrant farmer. You can look forward to an annual salary of between 10-12 thousand.

I wish I could get a sesame seed bagel with cream cheese, a toffee nut cookie, and a strawberry smoothie free from panera every morning.


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## Baldy Nohairs (Jun 20, 2015)

Granted: You now have diarrhea every night.

I wish I had season tickets to my favourite NHL team.


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

Granted: You have season tickets, however you can never use them nor scalp them.

I wish I had a top secret clearance to learn the government's secrets.


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## Cloze (Jul 18, 2011)

Granted: You now have top secret security clearance.

http://www.thewire.com/national/2013/06/contract-security-clearance-charts/66059/


> As of last October, nearly *five million* people held government security clearances. Of that, *1.4 million* held top-secret clearances. More than a third of those with top-secret clearances are contractors, which would appear to include Mr. Snowden.


You don't learn anything important that hasn't already been leaked.

I wish novalax was a communist!


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

lol this was a good one!

Granted: I become the worlds foremost supporter of communism. I'm so infatuated with it that I buy some land and set up a micro nation that is purely communist. At first it would seem that my nation is a beacon of hope for other communists, until it fails due to fiscal woes, then the societal problems that closely follow. Communism is forever seen as failed thereafter.

I wish that trans-humanism proves correct.


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## Cloze (Jul 18, 2011)

Granted: Trans-humanism proves correct. The world is now a stateless libertarian-communist utopia that is mostly managed and cared for by benevolent and advanced artificial intelligences. [There's no point in capitalism if the robots can do everything better.]

I wish, I wish, with all my heart, to fly with dragons in a land apat.


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

Granted: you fly with dragons for one femtosecond before they eat you. 
That was a bit dull so here is another one haha
Granted: The dragon must flap its wings harder. Due to sensitive dependence on initially conditions, you have caused an unending pattern of severe weather that dooms most life on earth. 

I wish for a cure for cancer.


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## BAH (Feb 12, 2012)

Granted:The cost for the cure is $50,000.

I wish for world domination.


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## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

When you achieve world domination you instantly become usurped by scheming insiders that make you disappear and destroy every evidence of your existence and forbid your name from ever being spoken.


I wish I had an invisibility cloak.


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## Baldy Nohairs (Jun 20, 2015)

Granted: But whenever you see someone naked, you appear.

I wish I was a famous Hollywood director/writer


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## Cloze (Jul 18, 2011)

Granted: You are a now a famous Hollywood director/writer. However you are only famous for how horrible your movies are and how much money you've lost in the industry. Even M. Night Shyamalan refuses to be seen with you in public. 

I wish I didn't have morning wood so often.


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

Granted: You rarely if ever get morning wood. However, since morning wood is linked to REM sleep, you forego that as well. After a few days you have constant auditory,olfactory, and visual hallucinations. You struggle to control any impulse you have, and become very hostile. Your body can't cope with the changes and you fall into a depressive state... all because you couldn't deal with some morning wood.

I wish my dogs and cat will go to pet heaven.


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## Baldy Nohairs (Jun 20, 2015)

Granted: But every time you think of them, they will be the most miserable pets for 5 minutes.

I wish I was one of the best architect's in the world


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

Granted: You become the worlds greatest architect. You poor your heart and soul into it for decades. In the end you create the most magnificent and breathtaking buildings the world has ever seen. However, they are so good no one believes that you created them. You try in vain to convince them, but to no avail. You die in penury and obscurity, knowing that your work will never be attributed to you.

I wish for a stable human settlement on mars.


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## Baldy Nohairs (Jun 20, 2015)

Granted: But Jupiter unexpectedly crashes into Mars 2 weeks later

I wish I could never get sick in anyway, ever again.


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## Cloze (Jul 18, 2011)

Baldy Nohairs said:


> Granted: But Jupiter unexpectedly crashes into Mars 2 weeks later
> 
> I wish I could never get sick in anyway, ever again.


Granted: You never get sick in anyway, ever again... because you're dead.

I wish that people were one standard deviation more empathetic than now.


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

Granted: people are now more empathetic, however the increased empathy blinds the empathizer with the emotions of the empathizee. No one is capable of taking meaningful measures to change because every one always see the problem throughs the eyes of the sufferer. Also since people are more empathetic, one's empathy is now worthless. Much like how inflation acts on a currency.

I wish to find the theory of everything.


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## Cloze (Jul 18, 2011)

novalax said:


> Granted: people are now more empathetic, however the increased empathy blinds the empathizer with the emotions of the empathizee. No one is capable of taking meaningful measures to change because every one always see the problem throughs the eyes of the sufferer. Also since people are more empathetic, one's empathy is now worthless. Much like how inflation acts on a currency.


:laugh: Bruh... do you even statistics?



> I wish to find the theory of everything.


Granted:You find the theory of everything on a slip of paper by a trash can.You have no idea what it means and everyone of knowledge about the subject thinks you are insane.

I wish I had the launch codes to all the nuclear weapons in the world... purely for science reasons obviously..


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## Baldy Nohairs (Jun 20, 2015)

Granted: But all the nukes are targeted at you.

I wish I could time travel


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

Cloze said:


> :laugh: Bruh... do you even statistics?


I thought I did. I'm not sure how one would measure a standard deviation in empathy, nor does one standard deviation imply a small increase. I could be wrong on both counts though!


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

Granted: you can travel in time, but only in one direction. You well never seen your loved ones again. You also must never alter the time you are in, as it would unknowable change the entire universe, and possibly violate causality.

I wish for a genuine rolex.


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## BAH (Feb 12, 2012)

Granted:As you're running out of energy,you must decide which era in time to travel to,and you cannot choose the one you're from.

I wish the human race was replaced with artificial intelligence.


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## Cloze (Jul 18, 2011)

novalax said:


> I thought I did. I'm not sure how one would measure a standard deviation in empathy, nor does one standard deviation imply a small increase. I could be wrong on both counts though!





> The Toronto Empathy Questionnaire
> 
> In order to formulate a parsimonious tool to assess empathy, we used factor analysis on a combination of self-report measures to examine consensus and developed a brief self-report measure of this common factor. The Toronto Empathy Questionnaire (TEQ) represents empathy as a primarily emotional process. In three studies, the TEQ demonstrated strong convergent validity, correlating positively with behavioral measures of social decoding, self-report measures of empathy, and negatively with a measure of Autism symptomatology. Moreover, it exhibited good internal consistency and high test-retest reliability. The TEQ is a brief, reliable, and valid instrument for the assessment of empathy.


There is a test for every psychological subjective experience you could possibly imagine!


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## Cloze (Jul 18, 2011)

Amon said:


> Granted:As you're running out of energy,you must decide which era in time to travel to,and you cannot choose the one you're from.
> 
> I wish the human race was replaced with artificial intelligence.


Granted: The human race is replaced with artificial intelligence. The robots get bored and recreate humanity then fly off into space!

I wish I could understand all languages.


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## BAH (Feb 12, 2012)

Granted:You are required to sit down all day and translate multiple languages to English.

I wish for eternal life.


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## Baldy Nohairs (Jun 20, 2015)

Granted: But you're blind or deaf, possibly both.

I wish I never had to sleep


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## BAH (Feb 12, 2012)

Granted:You are required to work 2 jobs overtime plus attend school full time. 
I wish for unlimited wishing.


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## Cloze (Jul 18, 2011)

Baldy Nohairs said:


> Granted: But you're blind or deaf, possibly both.
> 
> I wish I never had to sleep


I CAN STILL LEARN BRAILLE! +10 points for the wish maker babeh!

Granted: You acquire fatal familial insomnia. This involves progressively worsening insomnia, which leads to hallucinations, delirium, and confusional states like that of dementia.

You experience increasing insomnia, resulting in panic attacks, paranoia, and phobias. The first stage lasts for about four months. Next hallucinations and panic attacks become noticeable, continuing for about five months. Afterwards, complete inability to sleep is followed by rapid loss of weight. This lasts for about three months. The final stage is dementia, during which you become unresponsive or mute over the course of six months. Death follows.



Amon said:


> Granted:You are required to work 2 jobs overtime plus attend school full time.
> I wish for unlimited wishing.


Granted: You now have unlimited wishing. However, you have no control over what you wish. Every single thought volitional or not springs into reality. And you eventually destroy the fabric of your very consciousness as you are unable to determine what is or is not you or even the causality of your own actions.

I wish I were a better evil genie.


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## BAH (Feb 12, 2012)

Granted:Your instructor will be Satan himself,and in return you have to obey his every command for eternity.

I wish to create a new planet,only certain lifeforms allowed.


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## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

Granted: You will give birth to these many life forms from an orifice in your body.

I wish to be on the Star Trek Enterprise(Next Generation)


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## Cloze (Jul 18, 2011)

...Granted:









I wish I was a borg.


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

Cloze said:


> There is a test for every psychological subjective experience you could possibly imagine!


lol, so what is the unit of measure for empathy?


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## Cloze (Jul 18, 2011)

novalax said:


> lol, so what is the unit of measure for empathy?


They're just arbitrary units. You can call them Mother-Teresas if you like. :laugh:


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

Cloze said:


> They're just arbitrary units. You can call them Mother-Teresas if you like. :laugh:


ahhh like measuring utility in economies, or the differential threshold. gotcha


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

Cloze said:


> ...Granted:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Granted: you are a borg, you mind is now controlled by the computer that controls all borgs. Any hope of independent though or action is stamped out. You are now a mindless slave to an unknown master. (I don't know anything about the borg, so this might be completely wrong)

I wish I could learn through osmosis.


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## Cloze (Jul 18, 2011)

novalax said:


> Granted: you are a borg, you mind is now controlled by the computer that controls all borgs. Any hope of independent though or action is stamped out. You are now a mindless slave to an unknown master. (I don't know anything about the borg, so this might be completely wrong)
> 
> I wish I could learn through osmosis.


Granted: You learn through osmosis. However, you you learn EVERYTHING through osmosis. Everything you touch floods your brain with the objects entire history.

I wish I had some pizza.


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## smeeble (Jan 15, 2016)

Granted: You have to throw up whatever you eat immediately after eating it

I wish I could communicate with birds


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

Granted: you can communicate with birds, except no ones believes you and they have you committed to a psychiatric hospital. As icing on the cake, those hospitals are not known bird sanctuaries, so you powers are wasted. Also you find that the bird's beautiful chirps are nothing more than barbarous grunts and angry yelling.

I wish everything in life was handed to me.


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## Baldy Nohairs (Jun 20, 2015)

Granted: Everyone you know hands you their homework

I wish I could finish a project, assignment, etc. by snapping my fingers

(Ding, ding, ding!! this is my 1,000th post!! congratulations, you have won 1,000,000 dollars!)


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

Baldy Nohairs said:


> Granted: Everyone you know hands you their homework
> 
> I wish I could finish a project, assignment, etc. by snapping my fingers
> 
> (Ding, ding, ding!! this is my 1,000th post!! congratulations, you have won 1,000,000 dollars!)


You know you are getting an extra finger on the hand you snap with each time you do that right?

I wish for the inner peace of a cow.


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## losthismarbles (Jul 5, 2014)

splendidbob said:


> You know you are getting an extra finger on the hand you snap with each time you do that right?
> 
> I wish for the inner peace of a cow.


I grant you a bucket of tripe. It will be awarded to you in front of an angry PETA rally.

I wish for endless unconditional love.


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## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

You recieve endless unconditional love from a rock.

I want to own a pokemon.


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

Granted: you own a luvdisc, which sucks in and of itself, but you also don't have a poke ball so it runs away never to be seen again.

I wish I was a math genius.


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## smeeble (Jan 15, 2016)

Granted: But you get 5+ hours worth of homework everynight

I wish pokemon go would come out already!!


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

smeeble said:


> Granted: But you get 5+ hours worth of homework everynight
> 
> I wish pokemon go would come out already!!


lol like extra math homework is a punishment!

Granted: it comes out now. It will forever be a buggy beta that squandered an awesome idea.

I wish I could play the guitar like Leo Kottke.


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## Baldy Nohairs (Jun 20, 2015)

Hey now, she said homework, nothing about it being math work.

Granted: you can only play the guitar while standing on 1 leg, and you have terrible balance.

I wish I would win the powerball


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## Moksha (Mar 24, 2013)

Granted: You win the powerball but don't know how to handle all that money and you end up broke because you spend it all on cocaine, hookers, and a Maserati that you drunkenly drive straight into a concrete barrier. The accident leaves you with only one functional leg. Your parents don't want your sorry broke *** to live with them so you're forced to move into a shack in the woods somewhere in West Virginia and live off a diet of ramen and canned beans.

I wish was back in my early 20's again.


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## smeeble (Jan 15, 2016)

Granted: People are amazed by by your sudden deaging and you are experimented and studied on against your will for the deaging properties in you

I wish I got all A's in my classes without even trying


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## novalax (Jun 7, 2013)

Granted: you get all A's in your class without effort; your teachers just give you A's. You entire the job market having learned nothing and a horrible work ethic.

I wish I could travel the world at no cost and having the time to do so.


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## CosmicLow (Jun 2, 2013)

*News* NASA: 25th Feb,2016 END OF THE WORLD!!

I wanna climb Mt. Everest.


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## smeeble (Jan 15, 2016)

Granted: avalanches

I wish I could breathe underwater without having gross gills


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## Baldy Nohairs (Jun 20, 2015)

Granted: But you can only breathe until you reach 10ft below water level.

I wish I had super strength



Moksha said:


> Granted: You win the powerball but don't know how to handle all that money and you end up broke because you spend it all on cocaine, hookers, and a Maserati that you drunkenly drive straight into a concrete barrier. The accident leaves you with only one functional leg. Your parents don't want your sorry broke *** to live with them so you're forced to move into a shack in the woods somewhere in West Virginia and live off a diet of ramen and canned beans.


I was gonna money well spent until you said Maserati, screw the rest... but who wants that ugly pos.


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## CharmedOne (Jun 1, 2013)

Granted: But the only strength you're given is that of pungent halitosis and various rank body odors. Humans avoid you, but dogs can't stop sniffing, licking, and whizzing on you. 

I wish to never have to worry about financial troubles ever again.


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## gumballhead (Jun 8, 2011)

Granted, but you will be buried alive in a pile of cash.
I wish I didn't have asthma.


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## Baldy Nohairs (Jun 20, 2015)

Granted: Your nose is either clogged or constantly running

I wish I could never be burned again


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## smeeble (Jan 15, 2016)

Granted: your lungs are constantly filled with mucus

I wish I could become friends with any animals

EDIT: oops

You are constantly cold


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

Baldy Nohairs said:


> (I was actually going like, ok... yeah, I can handle excruciating pain and what not... then you said wheel chair and I totes lost interest)
> 
> Granted: But the thoughts of some of the stupidest people in the world cause your brain to literally explode.
> 
> I wish I could pilot a helicopter by tomorrow.


Helicopter license granted.

You are gunned down by STA missiles and you're dragged through the streets of Iran where you are ultimately tortured.

Infedel!!!!

I wish I was on a beach right now, with my girl....


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## Baldy Nohairs (Jun 20, 2015)

@smeeble Granted: They never, ever, leave you alone
@TenYears Granted: It start's pouring rain for 2 weeks straight

I wish I could make anyone laugh


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## smeeble (Jan 15, 2016)

Granted: you can never hold a conversation with people, anything you say makes them laugh

I wish I had a cheese cake


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## CharmedOne (Jun 1, 2013)

smeeble said:


> I wish I had a cheese cake


Granted: You win a cheese cake a day for the rest of your life. You also become lactose intolerant.



Baldy Nohairs said:


> Ungranted: Error 404 wish could not be wished upon.












I wish I could fall asleep at a decent hour, so I could wake up, refreshed, at a decent hour.


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## smeeble (Jan 15, 2016)

^ I'm already lactose intolerant, but cheesecake's worth it

Granted: You are plagued with horrible nightmares

I wish my cockatiel lives as long as I do


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## Baldy Nohairs (Jun 20, 2015)

Granted: But it squawks 67 times a minute

I wish I had the perfect hair every day without trying


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## smeeble (Jan 15, 2016)

Granted: Your fingernails and toenails are now overgrown and yellow

I wish I went to hogwarts


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## CharmedOne (Jun 1, 2013)

Granted: You have to be Malfoy's personal slave. 

I wish my friends lived closer.


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## Baldy Nohairs (Jun 20, 2015)

Granted: They now have new jobs and you only see them maybe 30 minutes a week.

I wish I can hear what other people are thinking


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## Jenniten (Feb 28, 2016)

You are overwhelmed by the thoughts of all those around and must spend the rest of your life in isolation on a mountaintop. There is no internet connection there.

I wish I had a bagel.


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## Baldy Nohairs (Jun 20, 2015)

Granted: The bagel is moldy

I wish I had an unlimited supply of orange juice, with pulp. None of that non-pulp shiz.


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