# Describe what you discussed with your therapist at your most recent session.



## BlazingLazer (Jul 16, 2011)

Came back a few hours ago, and I think the interaction was more than any of the others in the past (since I started 2 months ago). The main focus was how I see everything as a threat and that I would need to stop trying to "control" things out there and really focus on what I am, who I am (identity "crisis" was also mentioned, I don't know who I am or feel I should be).

He asked if I meditate, and I said that I didn't. Going in that direction, he explained to me how the breathing process is like and the whole point of the focus, focus internally.

Also, to "sit" with the anxiety, so I can more closely figure out what exactly is making me anxious (not just in social matters, but in everything else).


So, how about yours? Progress? Any breakthroughs or anything interesting?


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## user12345 (Jan 10, 2012)

Well I am in CBT at the moment and last session we discussed core beliefs and rules and assumptions. I realised the main core belief is that I am unworthy and too ****ed up to ever be loved. 

Haven't discussed this with her yet as I did it for homework. 

Having a problem with it though as our sessions have been limited by her, and I think I have max. 10 left and it's causing a lot of pressure to get better fast. Today my psychiatrist told me it took me about 8 months to open up fully to her, and it took me about 4 months with my previous therapists. 

I plan to discuss this with her too next session. 

Breakthroughs? A lot less social anxiety, I can now do simple things like hold a short conversation and make eye contact as well as doing more things alone. 

I found meditation helped me a lot so well done for this, also be ready to accept your feelings (anxiety included) and write down the triggers and a balanced thought. Sounds like you are doing well, good job!


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## BlazingLazer (Jul 16, 2011)

^ I hope I am!

A few questions:

You have homework for CBT?

This is limited to only a certain amount of sessions?

How come it takes that long to reveal yourself to the therapists? Is the process long and arduous?

Thanks again.


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## peril (Jan 7, 2012)

She wanted me to take a look at my life and what I really wanted from it because I cancelled too much on my sessions with her. I couldn't come because I was sleeping in. -_-'


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## user12345 (Jan 10, 2012)

Yes I get loads of homework for CBT, and I get homework from my psychiatrist too haha. I don't mind it because it means I get to progress out of session too. Usually it's pretty simple, like to make a list of something, other times it's just to get some social exposure. 

Most CBT therapists limit their sessions to about 20. The point is to teach you the skills you need, and then send you off on your way to use them by yourself. This is pretty scary because of the pressure and I am always wondering what happens if I don't get better in time. 

For me it just takes me generally longer to open up to people than others, even if the therapist is trustworthy. I think it just takes me a while because I am scared of what they will think if I show myself fully, or I'm scared they will leave - so I keep a distance, so that if they do leave then it wont hurt as much, you know? 

I kind of just tip toe and test the waters first before opening up.


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## Nevena (Jan 14, 2012)

Hi everyone, I dont live in America so meby my expiriances are different, but we are all the same according to your comments (sory for my speling in advance  ) I am going to therapy for a long time now, changed 3 therapists... Its a kinde of a new thing here, so now I am whith this jung girl, fresh from colage, but she is great. For the first time I have homeworks to, and I dont know the name of the tehnik... but enyone wonts I can explane the method... Last time I have talked about the fact that I am nerves about something, and that after that I am angry at myself for being nerves, so I just bild up more i more anxiety.... So I get everything about that subject, and I understend what you where exolaning R19, about trust. Its scary, but its very important to face our fears...the first step is the hardest
All the best
Nevena


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## Nevena (Jan 14, 2012)

Hi, I am new here and I dont write from America so maby I wont know all the terms you use... but I can see that the subjest is the same all over  Problems and opsicals, hope well all go beonde them soon. Thats what therapy is for. I have learnd in my last secion that I have blaced my self with anger. I was engry at myself because I was nerves!! I have been using this metod thats oriented on your subconshes thouths, and we do homework too (i dont know the name of the method but I can explaine it if someone wonts  ).... Its very practical and future oriented. There is no diging throug the past, wich I did in last therapy I went to... Hope I make sence, and sory about my speling everyone  
R91 just wont to say i understand exactly how you feel... its hard to trust, or regaint trust once you lose it in people, but its important to try and be brave againe... Firs step is alwaise the hardest, whish you luck 

Nevena


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## trendyfool (Apr 11, 2010)

In my last session we talked about how scared I was of things going wrong in a relationship, and my therapist pointed out how no matter what happened it would be an experience to grow and learn from. We talked about the change in meds some and I showed him a few poems I wrote, and talked about why my anxiety has gotten worse lately.


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## blue the puppy (Jul 23, 2011)

we talked about my fear of talking to people at work, and how im doing crappy in my school program, and my relationship ending.


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## BlazingLazer (Jul 16, 2011)

This.


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## Dying note (Mar 17, 2009)

This week I discussed how thrown away I feel. He's basically trying to keep me going, show me a way to hope because it's obvious I don't see how I'll be around much longer, waiting and trying and hoping as I have been all this time. I feel like a complete fool.


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## Cupcakes (Jan 31, 2012)

I'm having a hard time dealing with therapy process. It's not my psychoanalyst fault, i think she is amazing.
She deals with it by helping me trying to find the truth. Which is the only way for me.

It's hell of a pain dealing with the bad aspects of myself. Every end of session I feel upset and terribly down.

I have good aspects about myself and I'm a strong person who looks forward to achieve my goals. I'm happy with my boyfriend.

But I tend to act very harsh to myself, like a victim and a and the same time i found out that i'm a saddist - masoquist. And therefore, I end to act in a saddistic way to others. But not intentionally, it's automatic.

No one likes me for "no reason". I feed that feeling of disgust towards myself by others. In fact it's my responsability.
My main problem is that i can't deal with my rage and disagreement to others opinions. I can't get angry with anyone. Which is a complete spoiler attitude, because i end to "blast a bomb" later from so much i've been keeping to myself. 

At this stage, the goal is to get angry and show disaproval when i don't feel right, which is something I can't do at the moment.

Whatever happens, what I feel is a FACT! Anyone can tell me i'm just being silly or imature for certain attitudes I have but i MUST show my disagree anyway. Heart never lies.

At the moment i feel like i'm a bi*** who doesn't have the guts to show my trueself and disagreement as my honest opinion.

Took a big step recently, speaking my mind to a friend/crush, quite honest and calm without being unfair or demanding anything from him. I said i liked him.
He respected my words and feelings although he doesn't feel the same way. But he said he really admired my attitude, most people wouldn't be so honest and clear like this, he said.
But i felt incredibly awesome and free after doing this. It's such a freedom feeling of being able to speak our minds.

Sorry for the long post -.-


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## user12345 (Jan 10, 2012)

Cupcakes said:


> Took a big step recently, speaking my mind to a friend/crush, quite honest and calm without being unfair or demanding anything from him. I said i liked him.
> He respected my words and feelings although he doesn't feel the same way. But he said he really admired my attitude, most people wouldn't be so honest and clear like this, he said.
> But i felt incredibly awesome and free after doing this. It's such a freedom feeling of being able to speak our minds.
> 
> Sorry for the long post -.-


THis is such a wonderful step and I am really impressed that you managed this. Yes you are absolutely right - your feelings are valid and you have a right to express them. I have this list of 'rights' that every human being should have, such as the right to express your needs and wants, the right to say no etc. I can post it if you want, or you could find it online.

For me the last session we talked about my inability to open up to people. It made me feel bad and I shut down completely and my brain stopped working - I had nothing to say and I didn't want to say anything. But eventually it passed, and now I feel more comfortable because she didn't run away from it.


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## Pam (Feb 14, 2009)

I'm in an identity crisis too. Don't have one.

My homework was to list things about myself that I can bring with me for security out in the world (actually this was my idea--thought it would really help me so i can feel confident enough to go out and volunteer). It was a list of nouns and adjectives. Didn't help--it's just words on paper that don't really mean anything to me--i can't connect to them, even tho they are true.

And how I have to somehow rescue or help the 9 yr old in me--that's the age i was when i had the life/ my self/ my identity destroyed and wiped out of me by my stepmother. I have to help the 9 yr old in me heal....but don't see any effective way to do it.........

The only thing I know I DON"T want to be is Miss Compliant, a doormat, people-pleaser. I want to be my self, but don't know what that is.


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## Cupcakes (Jan 31, 2012)

I'm in psychoanalysis and the sessions have been about confronting with the truth or with my bad and good sides.

Sometimes I feel like my therapyst is kinda harsh, but I do HATE when I was treated like a poor victim by other therapysts. So I guess her way is just fine!!!

So the session today was mostly about me talking bad things of my sister, what annoys me most about her and why this even kept me awake last night.

The problem is that I doubt my own capacities, I even don't trust my friends. My sister feels it and just projects what I feel. Better, she tries to put me down and this happens because I give her "uncounsciently" permission to do it.

And going on I just found out that me and my sister we are both pretty envious, even apparently, we've being good to each other.

I hate not being able to tell her how I feel so I could stop this.

And this happens with everyone. No one respects me because I do not speak my mind! I let others show disaproval about me, I get frustrated because they do it with clear mind and no guilt and I just can't do the same. 

I hate playing the "role dependancy" with my family. Even I don't live with them for a long time, I don't depend on them monetary.
They always have to tell me that i'm not ok. By their means, that I still NEED them. I'm not sure what they really mean, I don't ask them for money.
And of course I need their emotional support and care, they are my family yeah! As they might need mine. 

But it feels like i just can't tell them "HEy, i'm fine, i'm great on my own, I miss you a lot but I'm managing to take care of my life and job, everything is going ok".
They can't understand and always have to tell me that's something wrong in my life and I'm not old enough to take care of my stuff.
My father gets mad when I take decisions without asking him.
Hello.. i'm 26 years old. Not a child, I can think by my own and I do not regret anything.

I wish I could tell them this straight away without starting a fight.


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## Cupcakes (Jan 31, 2012)

Pam said:


> I'm in an identity crisis too. Don't have one.
> 
> The only thing I know I DON"T want to be is Miss Compliant, a doormat, people-pleaser. I want to be my self, but don't know what that is.


My problem too


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## Cupcakes (Jan 31, 2012)

R91 said:


> THis is such a wonderful step and I am really impressed that you managed this. Yes you are absolutely right - your feelings are valid and you have a right to express them. I have this list of 'rights' that every human being should have, such as the right to express your needs and wants, the right to say no etc. I can post it if you want, or you could find it online.
> 
> For me the last session we talked about my inability to open up to people. It made me feel bad and I shut down completely and my brain stopped working - I had nothing to say and I didn't want to say anything. But eventually it passed, and now I feel more comfortable because she didn't run away from it.


Thank you for understanding, R91  I will search for sure... we tend to forget our rights in a way, as much as they may seem obvious.


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## purplerainx3 (Apr 28, 2010)

I just had my third therapy session today and the main thing my therapist and I talked about was the practice of mindfulness- that is, living for the moment, basically. I think it'll help because I told her I have a problem with always lingering over the past or the present, and not even thinking it's possible to be content with the life I have currently. We also discussed my bad relationship with my parents and the way my complicated childhood shaped me as a person today. She told me I was a "very smart girl" and that "your parents have a lot to be proud of". Hearing those words just made me feel more depressed, because my parents have pretty much ruined any mindset I have that I'm a capable person, and it's kind of scary to think about. Sometimes I feel like I can't quite be myself around my therapist either, although I am telling her a lot. I feel like I tell it without enough emotion or something. I'm always saying things as if they aren't as important as they really are, even though they impact me deeply. I guess it's just my mom always making me think that being abused is normal or something. Well anyway, I'm rambling.
All in all, I'm glad my therapist is pretty nice. Even though at first she seemed kind of cheesy and only doing this for the money. I guess we're doing a mixture of CBT and other stuff. And even though she makes me do some silly things like "draw out what I'm feeling" (not that I think that's stupid, just doesn't work for me), it's nice to have someone to talk to and practice interacting with, even. And I like the fact that she doesn't (or at least isn't allowed to) judge me.


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## Shredder (Apr 19, 2011)

Hey there! I know you mentioned meditation on another post so I'll share my recent session that was yesterday. 
It didnt go too well. I had a bit of a freak out / blank void brainfreeze when he asked me some questions and he tried to get me to do some mindfulness breathing. I sat there and tried breathing with him and I said "nope, its not gunna happen" (meaning relaxing). It felt weird/uncomfortable with him there opposite me so he said "OK... Ill sit over here" and went to the other side of the room and turned his back on me. Still wasnt working for me (thoughts still racing) and I said now I feel retarded 'cause you have to go and do that. I just wanted to do it after the session by myself. He tried one more time and I just pretended that it was working to keep him happy and stop hassling me about it. Im trying to be more open & honest as I really want to get this stuff sorted out so I told him later that I was "faking it" to keep him happy as I felt he was getting frustrated with me.


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## Shredder (Apr 19, 2011)

purplerainx3 said:


> Sometimes I feel like I can't quite be myself around my therapist either, although I am telling her a lot. I feel like I tell it without enough emotion or something. I'm always saying things as if they aren't as important as they really are, even though they impact me deeply.


I feel this a lot too. Everytime I say something that I fear might be a 'bad' thing I counter it with another statement.

e.g. "today was really hard... but Im feeling better now though!"

I must have done about 20 sessions and Im starting to "loosen up" a bit now. I used to say what I thought would please my therapist rather than what I really felt. But I know now that does not help at all.


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