# Telling my family I'm an atheist



## Hopeful25

I think I'm going to be forced to do this very soon. My family (especially my mom and the people at the church I'm currently attending) seem to be pushing me more towards religion when I really really don't want to go in that direction and think it's all BS. 

Does anyone have experience in doing this? I'm very nervous about it and hearing some of your stories would help.


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## Foh_Teej




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## whitewolf

^^ Good Video.

I had to do this when I was younger. Yeah, they are convinced I'm going to hell. TBH I'm not sure if it isn't better to avoid the subject forever. Religion can be such an irrational thing to begin with, and unfortunately makes a lot of people intolerant of different beliefs.


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## The Silent 1

^ That was a good video, but yeah how you go about this and what the results will likely be all come down to what kind of parents you have. You know how they'll react better than we do.

When I first revealed it to my father in early highschool, he actually forced me to go to church with him for a while afterwards. Hes involved in the ministry and I think he believed, and still does, that my rejection of Christianity is somehow me being rebellious or is somehow about me being angry towards him.

Now days, he knows I don't believe, but he still seems to think its a phase or something. He constantly goes out of his way to bring god and religion into our conversations. Recently I've decided to just ignore it, though I'm often very tempted to call him out and debate him, especially when he says something thats factually not true. Thing is this is someone who believes hes personally seen demons and that god has directly spoken to him. Hes also been witnessed "exorcism", has friends who believe they've seen Angels (including one who claims to have visited heaven), and also believes that god has shown him who the antichrist is.

When your dealing with someone like that, I don't think theres anything you can do to convince them otherwise and frankly I think some people are in a position where they can no longer admit they don't believe. How could they when they've devoted so much of their lives to the faith? 

My mother, believes in god, but is much more lax. When I initially told her I didn't believe she tried showing me some standard apologetic answers, but she pretty much accepts it now and doesn't really mind. She knows I'm a decent person and believes that someday god will reveal himself to me in a way I can't deny.

The only thing I can suggest is to come ready to debate. Know the common responses and how to deal with them and emphasize the rational reasons that you feel this way.


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## albrecht

When I told my parents I wasn't a Christian anymore, all hell broke loose.

My best advice is not to come out as anything. Just stop playing the religious game. If people want to know what you think of their (most likely) imaginary friend, tell them they can do what they wish with their life and time.


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## Jimmie

I told my parents no problem. i even explained to them why i am atheist and in turn they became atheist. a true success story.


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## wordscancutyoulikeglass

i don't think i'll ever tell my parent's. What they don't know can't hurt them.


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## geepeeone

I agree with the above comment because, really, what do you think you would accomplish by telling them. In the way this is one of those exceptions about the truth always being better than a lie. 

Telling them wouldn't do any good to anyone involved. It could only hurt, which is not what you want to happen. By the way, what positive change do you think will happen if you choose to blurt out your belief?

I've been in this situation and continue to be in this situation for a while now. I keep my mouth shut; I follow and honor our religious practices as we have always done and that's it. 

Being an atheist is the easiest thing in the world since you are not really adhering to any higher power, but maybe only the power of context where ever we are. 

Correct me if I am wrong, but we as a group are practical and pragmatic people--this situation calls for that.


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## Starstuff13

albrecht said:


> When I told my parents I wasn't a Christian anymore, all hell broke loose.
> 
> My best advice is not to come out as anything. Just stop playing the religious game. If people want to know what you think of their (most likely) imaginary friend, tell them they can do what they wish with their life and time.


did you recently convert to atheism/agnosticism? i remember arguing with you about religion. i think i even used the imaginary friend line.


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## sparkplug74

I guess it all depends on your family. My family is a deeply religious one, but they have no problem at all with my atheism. But some religious families take that as a very serious problem. I've heard terrible things like atheists getting disowned, and even parents killing their own child for confessing atheism (mostly in Islamic countries). So yeah, it just comes down to the type of family that you have.


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## Whitney

I haven't told my family. Well, I've told my sister, but no one else. I don't really plan to tell them unless it comes up. The only times I worry that it might come up is when I get married (not getting married in a church, not having a pastor officiant) or not taking my kids to church. If it comes up then I'll talk to them about it. Especially when it comes to my future kids, I want my parents to understand why I raise them the way I choose. I'd let them take my kids to church, but I'd talk to my kids about it and teach them to use their heads. So ultimately I feel it may come up, but I'm not going to push the issue.


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## T-Bone

Hopeful25 said:


> I think I'm going to be forced to do this very soon. My family (especially my mom and the people at the church I'm currently attending) seem to be pushing me more towards religion when I really really don't want to go in that direction and think it's all BS.
> 
> Does anyone have experience in doing this? I'm very nervous about it and hearing some of your stories would help.


Do you really want to hear "my son is going to hell" for the rest of your life? I would keep quiet and just stop going to church. You're 18 right? That's considered an adult last time i heard, time to make your own choices. Nobody is going to hog tie you, throw you in the van and, and drag you off to the worship place.


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## edwardc

Hopeful25 said:


> I think I'm going to be forced to do this very soon. My family (especially my mom and the people at the church I'm currently attending) seem to be pushing me more towards religion when I really really don't want to go in that direction and think it's all BS.
> 
> Does anyone have experience in doing this? I'm very nervous about it and hearing some of your stories would help.


I'm sorry you have to go through this. I am also an Atheist, but I don't rub it into other people's faces. I don't celebrate XMAS or anything of that stuff. No trees, or lights. When people start to talk about their church activities it totally creeps me out. Even though I told family members this, they still send us XMAS cards and stuff. I finally wrote back to one of them and said not to send this stuff to us because it offends me. That in-law didn't communicate with us for years as of the result, but finally started too. The truth is, I didn't miss them at all and neither did my wife.

The thing is, you have to accept live on your own terms. Being an Atheist is just as strong as claiming one of the other religions out there and they better get use to it. You have the freedom to practice or not, and don't allow anyone to bully you into it. The only time and I mean the only time I have been to a church is for someone's wedding or a funeral service. That's it, I won't go there socially and it's not for me.


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## Droidsteel

When I told my mum she seemed to take it pretty well. She's convinced its a 'phase.'

XD


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## Nightwalker12

When I turned 16 I just made sure I worked every our that there was a church service going on. My mom found out I was an athiest when I turned 17 or so and it was hellacious. I know she is not the most stable person herself but she seems to have somehow forgot about it. My dad found out when I was 21 and he took quite well. He asks why I believe what I do and he says it makes sense but still holds firm to his beliefs.


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## Richard Pawgins

Don't tell them anything, just refuse to go to church and explain to them how silly their superstitious beliefs are and how much they contradict reality and scientific fact.


They'll either become upset or feel stupid, either way it's not a problem for you.


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## AmandaMarie87

I'm not an atheist per se, but I did recently tell my mother that although I do believe in God, I don't believe in organized religion.


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## markwalters2

I think the reactions will be similar to this:


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## burgerdistraction

Lol yeah, good luck with that. Christians are going to hate anything that doesn't agree with them. Shame.


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## MoonMan97

My parents didn't really give a **** and things went on relatively unchanged. Granted, they're not the most religious people themselves, in fact, I'm not even sure if my dad believes in God or not.


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## euler

what about being irreligious in a muslim community
i really can't talk with anyone about this here
this has added so much to my already severe social anxiety problem
i've been holding my views on this subject as a secret for almost ten years now
can anyone help me ?


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## footballhead

The only way things change is by discussion. This may cause conflict. I agree that we should value the safety of children over arguing religion, but if you are old enough to stand your ground I believe you should consider doing so. Otherwise by doing nothing you are allowing them to maintain their supposed monopoly on morality.

Break the illusion gently. Person by person.


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