# Just had my first date ever



## JMX (Feb 26, 2008)

We met online at a dating site, and she seemed to have quite a bit of interest in me, so we decided to have dinner and watch some TV shows. I let her sleep at my place because she lives an hour and a half away.

It wasn't all that fun to be quite honest; she was too shy and I had to control nearly all the conversation, which wasn't all that exciting. I wasn't nervous at all, just wasn't thrilled at all. Whenever we were walking together, I was basically asking the questions and she would just respond with some detail and that's it; no reciprocation. I hope most dates aren't like this. I think I may have lost the very little appetite I had for dating.


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## LucasM (Dec 2, 2010)

Well, look at the bright side. You got a date with a human being. There are a ton of guys here who would kill to have that opportunity. 

Hope it all works out


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

Good for you. I hope to be able to get to that point someday.


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## Cyrus (Oct 25, 2009)

Well done, yeah I'm sure not all dates will go swiftly like you want them to do, but I guess that's why they are dates, you go out to see how you are around eachother, if you don't enjoy it much, you can move on to someone else etc. I wouldn't let it put you off though.


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## redoak (Dec 18, 2010)

Not all dates are like that, but some of them are for sure. Some are dead boing, some get you really feeling worse after. But keep trying, there ARE some good ones out there, keep looking and you'll find them


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## redoak (Dec 18, 2010)

I've met quite a few from the web over the years - the first was probably about 12 years ago. That was a disaster and I felt actually suicidal afterwards. But I've met a couple of lovely women through the internet. (and about 6 or more not so good) 
There's one major thing you need to learn in this life, I my opinion anyway, and that's keep trying. Never give up even if you feel like it. Take a few days to recover and get back out there.


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## CrunchyCarrot (Feb 13, 2009)

It was just one date. Don't give up! This site should be some consolation: www.abadcaseofthedates.com I have fun reading these stories.


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## lucyinthesky (Mar 29, 2009)

Certainly a good start though! Well done


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

JMX said:


> We met online at a dating site, and she seemed to have quite a bit of interest in me, so we decided to have dinner and watch some TV shows. I let her sleep at my place because she lives an hour and a half away.
> 
> It wasn't all that fun to be quite honest; she was too shy and I had to control nearly all the conversation, which wasn't all that exciting. I wasn't nervous at all, just wasn't thrilled at all. Whenever we were walking together, I was basically asking the questions and she would just respond with some detail and that's it; no reciprocation. I hope most dates aren't like this. I think I may have lost the very little appetite I had for dating.


 She was probably nervous - you should know about this (you do have SA).
She really got out of her comfort zone.

Not all dates will go like this, though.
Good job on the date, though :boogie :boogie :boogie


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## gilt (Jan 7, 2010)

Certainly a good start JMX. Too bad it didn't work out for you, but give her a little leeway for her shyness / SA. How was she to talk to online? Was she interesting? If so, then you might give her some time time to feel comfortable around you & open up.


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## scriabin221 (Nov 16, 2008)

Sweet! That's OK, though. Maybe she just needs to warm up. Maybe she has SA too. Did you guys have anything in common? If not, don't worry. You'll definitely have way more bad dates than good ones. But the one good date you have will make up for all the ****ty ones. So keep it up. Congratulations!


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## cubanscorpio (Jun 30, 2010)

it's her fault. you should've citicized her and asked her "why are you so quiet!?" "you need to talk more!". hmm that would've been rude huh? yea thats not good advice.

lol joking. all kidding aside, don't get discouraged man. she sounds like she has SA too. i mean no self respecting human would just answer questions on the whole date unless they have SA. give her time to get comfortable with you and she will start to open up more and more and the dates wont be as awkward. regardless of that, you did your part. you went out and you attempted to establish a connection by creating conversation. so mad kudos to you bro


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## GatorNic (Dec 15, 2010)

congrats on the date, jmx!! i agree with an earlier post.. was she pleasant when you two spoke online? she seems to just be shy and probably was really nervous. if you two had interesting conversations online, it might just take her some time to open up. good luck! and don't give up! : )


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

I had a very similar date just recently. But I was on the other end. I really liked her and wish I was more creative and talkative but she really intimidated me and I had issues. I wasn't comfortable enough to talk and open up as normal which was actually a little embarrassing for myself. 

I know I added a lot more to the conversation then your date did but don't be so hard on her. 

Good luck with future dates, it isn't easy being on either side of that equation.


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## JMX (Feb 26, 2008)

Thanks for the encouragement guys. We're back to exchanging e-mails and she seems to say a lot more in the e-mails than she did in person. It's rather irritating. I don't know whether to dismiss her just after one date, but she said she felt 'connected' to me, even though I'm pretty disinterested in her.

Maybe I'm just too picky. These days it seems impossible to find anyone that I find remotely interesting.



millenniumman75 said:


> She was probably nervous - you should know about this (you do have SA).
> She really got out of her comfort zone.
> 
> Not all dates will go like this, though.
> Good job on the date, though :boogie :boogie :boogie


Thank you, though I only have SA in certain situations. With this date, I didn't feel anxious at all, but rather bored because she was too quiet.



gilt said:


> Certainly a good start JMX. Too bad it didn't work out for you, but give her a little leeway for her shyness / SA. How was she to talk to online? Was she interesting? If so, then you might give her some time time to feel comfortable around you & open up.


I found her mildly interesting when talking online, but it was a huge letdown when I met her in person. She went through a period of depression because she lived in Tonga (south Pacific island) for 10 months working for the Peace Corps. That isolation got to her. I can't blame her for it, but as brutal as it may sound, I don't really want to be with her if she's going to stay like that, which is my biggest worry.



fissionesque said:


> Did you guys have anything in common?


Not particularly. We both liked Indian food (but then again, I don't know of anyone who doesn't), but that was about it.


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## charliechaplin500 (Dec 21, 2010)

With past experience in mind, I consider the first date to be like a job interview, to see if the other person is simply just plain crazy or not. I wouldn't judge someone on simply the first date(unless she had vampire fangs,Run Away!) The first date to me are always going to be the worst date to really getting to know someone, so definitely take her out on another date, I'm sure she will be much more open. This quote applies greatly to many situations “Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time, to figure out whether you like it or not.” - Virgil Garnett Thomson


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## blanksBACK (Oct 21, 2010)

Its a start. Huzzah for you, Sir!


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## yourfavestoner (Jan 14, 2010)

She was too shy? You had to control the conversation?

...........

Congratulations, though. It's a triumphant story indeed.


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## im Lost (Dec 4, 2010)

congratulations! hmmm must of been really awkward if you dint like it haha but i rather have someones shy cuzz im also shy.


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## fallingdownonmyface (Dec 3, 2006)

whatsup playa! congratz on the date

long time no talk hit me up


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## PaintItBlack1 (Jan 8, 2011)

Haha my first date was very similar! It was like trying to squeeze water out of a stone when It come to conversations... I made the mistake of thinking all dates go well because you think you both like each other you'll hit it off like in the movies.

You'll get a few dates like that my friend. Sometimes it'll even be them doing the hard work to get you talking! Normally the dates you don't expect to, go well.

Maybe she just needs some encouragement or a couple more dates to feel comfortable with you or maybe herself.

Keep up the good work!


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## stranger25 (Apr 29, 2010)

Amazing. I think for alot of the guys on here me included, knowing luck, it'd be the opposite....


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## JMX (Feb 26, 2008)

Now she tells me she's moving out of the state to the west coast, around February or March. My life is such a joke.


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## purplefruit (Jan 11, 2011)

Wait so you ended up liking her :stu aww that's too bad. A lot of people do the long-distance thing successfully though. I've heard.


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## JMX (Feb 26, 2008)

No, I don't like her.
It's just that I hardly even had any time to get to know her.


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## Sam1911 (Dec 4, 2010)

did you at least sniff her hair while she was sleeping :bat


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## Honos (Jan 6, 2011)

Well done for getting out there as many people have said its the first and I sure she will open up a little if you were to give it a second or third date. 
Good luck 
honos


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## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

Sounds like a date nightmare.


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## Black_Widow (May 23, 2008)

Sounds to me like she might have been too nervous on that first date to feel she could be herself. She could be the kind of person who opens up more to people only after she's known them a while. Maybe rather than do the full blown evening date thing, it's worth doing something more casual. Like meet her for a coffee or something, and see if things go any better that time. Could be they will. Even if they don't, at least that way you'll know you gave things a fair chance before making your mind up it was one of those things that wasn't meant to be.

Good on you for going on the date anyways! That's a major step!


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