# Single!



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Just broke things off with my gf..mutual..totally cool. I am a little bitter because she used to be in love with me but with her moving we had to put our emotions in check. Yes...that's right..my male ego is having a hard time dealing with the fact that I probably ended up liking her more than she liked me. Also that she'll probably be hooking up with her ex bf in the not too distant future.

But alas..I was never truly in love with her anyways and she was never really the one in my eyes. So this was for the best. I am already talking to 4 girls from okcupid, I signed up to the gym in my town, I'm going to be focusing on my job more, and I am just overall excited for the future. No doubt about it, I am not getting serious with anyone again for at least a while... Relationships have a way of exhausting you..(and your bank account).


----------



## missalyssa (Jun 18, 2011)

Well, sorry for your loss but it sounds like it was for the better. No sense in stringing things along for the purpose of just having somebody. I hope you two are able to stay friends and you can move onward to someone who you will have a better connection with, someone who might be the one  good luck !


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

The distance thing wasn't doable?

Awesome mindset you have, my friend. Hit the gym, make some money, talk up some gals. You are now a free man.


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

srschirm:1059671024 said:


> The distance thing wasn't doable?
> 
> Awesome mindset you have, my friend. Hit the gym, make some money, talk up some gals. You are now a free man.


Haha thanks...believe me I feel great but I also feel like I'm being held together by a thread and I could fall apart at any moment. The truth is...it's a little tough but I'm trying to be strong and move on because I know how these things go and that feelings will subside in time. Therefore no point in wallowing in self-pity or anything like that. Just got to move on and try to be a boss.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

You sound like the kind of guy who will get things easily in time. You've got the right attitude. GL with everything.


----------



## DrMarianus (Dec 21, 2011)

Too bad, Rymo. Judging by her picture, she seemed like a "keeper" though. But I don't know anything about relationships...


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

rymo said:


> Haha thanks...believe me I feel great but I also feel like I'm being held together by a thread and I could fall apart at any moment. The truth is...it's a little tough but I'm trying to be strong and move on because I know how these things go and that feelings will subside in time. Therefore no point in wallowing in self-pity or anything like that. Just got to move on and try to be a boss.


Yup your mind is rite.


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

DrMarianus:1059671127 said:


> Too bad, Rymo. Judging by her picture, she seemed like a "keeper" though. But I don't know anything about relationships...


That's the problem..you're judging by the picture. I don't see how you can call someone a keeper just from their picture. I mean if you're talking purely about attractiveness then sure she is pretty but it's not like she's a supermodel or something.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Where is her picture?


----------



## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

rymo said:


> *That's the problem..you're judging by the picture. I don't see how you can call someone a keeper just from their picture.* I mean if you're talking purely about attractiveness then sure she is pretty but it's not like she's a supermodel or something.


True, I do like girls' personalities more than their looks.


----------



## Ohnoes2191 (Aug 26, 2011)

We're on the same boat. But I agree with everyone else, your mind is in the right place, and with this kind of attitude you will be successful. Best of luck man.


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Ohnoes2191 said:


> We're on the same boat. But I agree with everyone else, your mind is in the right place, and with this kind of attitude you will be successful. Best of luck man.


Thanks.



srschirm said:


> Where is her picture?


Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1632747177


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Got 2 dates for this weekend from OkCupid!


----------



## NoName99 (Jul 3, 2011)

:lol You don't waste any time, do you? ^^ Good for you! :yes


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

NoName99 said:


> :lol You don't waste any time, do you? ^^ Good for you! :yes


No..and good thing because I'm starting to feel sick over my ex now. It's so crazy how she was in love with me at one point and then lost those feelings because of our situation. She said if we were in love then she would have done everything she could have to stay, but how could we have maintained that emotional connection knowing that she was moving? It's like wtf. And the stupid part is, I know she wasn't the one anyway so it's totally and utterly for the best. But I still feel like I'm the victim and like I ended up liking her more than she liked me, and that because I didn't know there was a chance she could have stayed if we were in love that I feel betrayed. As mean and coldhearted as this sounds, I wish I would have stayed broken up with her when I broke up with her the first time, because I wasn't the one who was as emotionally committed at that point. Now I just feel like an idiot.


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I can't see the pictures - don't have Facebook :lol.

This is the reason I can't just give my millenniummanliness to just any girl. Something was weird with the whole situation. I will have to watch for baggage. 

At my age, wisdom is everything.


----------



## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

rymo said:


> Got 2 dates for this weekend from OkCupid!


Hey man, glad to hear it! Good luck, but be careful...since you're fresh out of a relationship.

...also couldn't see the pic.


----------



## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

rymo said:


> Relationships have a way of exhausting you..(and your bank account).


Indeed. I've spent thousands of dollars on romance.


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Date #1 complete. On the way to the bar I watched some simplepickup.com videos on my phone to pump myself up. There were times I was feeling very confident, and other times where the nervousness was starting to get the better of me. But I just went in with the attitude that if anything awkward happened or I was getting nervous to just push through it and act like a boss regardless, In other words, brush it off and keep going, because that shows confidence. When a confident guy does something awkward or stupid, he just acts like it's no big deal because it really isn't, and if he doesn't make it a big deal, the girl won't think that either.

So anyways, she was adorable, a little short but into video games and just a really cool chick. I could tell there was some spark the whole time, I made her blush a few times by just pointing out silly things she was doing and teasing her. I tried to keep things physical by touching her arm, her leg, etc. I was doing everything right..and then I tried to kiss her. She said no...and I just said "okay, no biggie, sorry" and made a joke about how awkward it was. She said she doesn't kiss on the first date usually, and I felt defeated for a second but just kept on going with conversation. She revealed to me that she is hesitant because she doesn't want to be a rebound chick (she knew about my ex-gf situation). I told her that I am not into just messing around with girls to get over my ex, that's not my style. That I just want to live my life and not let the ex affect me. True, I am not necessarily looking to jump right back into a relationship, but I am open to anything, depending on where things lead. 

So we continue talking and flirting and eventually she's telling me she thinks I'm cute and touching my jacket and my chest and I'm like okay...it's on. I was thinking about making a move when she grabbed my arm and started arm wrestling me (she works out a lot). I told her, if I beat her I get to kiss her. Of course I did, and then I went for it. We made out then and a few more times before the end of the night. SCORE!

It definitely helped with feelings about the ex..in a way. It's not that I feel so much different now...I mean thinking about what she could be up to tonight bothers me a bit, but certainly if I had failed with this girl I would have been pretty damn miserable. That's not what happened though, and the moral of the story: just keep being a boss and fighting away the anxiety NO...MATTER...WHAT! There were definitely some moments where I would have buckled in the past and things would have gotten reaaally awkward, but I said **** it, I'm not that guy anymore. I'm going to do this no matter what: keep good eye contact, keep things physical, listen, and try as hard as I can to be charming. I don't necessarily think I was incredibly charming at all times..far from it...but the point is to just keep trying and not doubt yourself.


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Yeh I guess that came off as my problems aren't that bad...sorry I was drunk when I wrote it. It's crazy though ...a year ago I had no female physical interaction and now I make out with a girl two seconds after I break up with my ex. 3 girls total that I've hooked up with, if you consider making out hooking up. It's not much but man the power of hard work is something else.


----------



## lanzman (Jun 14, 2004)

rymo said:


> Date #1 complete. On the way to the bar I watched some simplepickup.com videos on my phone to pump myself up. There were times I was feeling very confident, and other times where the nervousness was starting to get the better of me. But I just went in with the attitude that if anything awkward happened or I was getting nervous to just push through it and act like a boss regardless, In other words, brush it off and keep going, because that shows confidence. When a confident guy does something awkward or stupid, he just acts like it's no big deal because it really isn't, and if he doesn't make it a big deal, the girl won't think that either.
> 
> So anyways, she was adorable, a little short but into video games and just a really cool chick. I could tell there was some spark the whole time, I made her blush a few times by just pointing out silly things she was doing and teasing her. I tried to keep things physical by touching her arm, her leg, etc. I was doing everything right..and then I tried to kiss her. She said no...and I just said "okay, no biggie, sorry" and made a joke about how awkward it was. She said she doesn't kiss on the first date usually, and I felt defeated for a second but just kept on going with conversation. She revealed to me that she is hesitant because she doesn't want to be a rebound chick (she knew about my ex-gf situation). I told her that I am not into just messing around with girls to get over my ex, that's not my style. That I just want to live my life and not let the ex affect me. True, I am not necessarily looking to jump right back into a relationship, but I am open to anything, depending on where things lead.
> 
> ...


Seems to me you're pretty close to being cured of your SA. I couldn't fathom doing that on a first date....yet even making the date in the first place. Good luck to you.


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

lanzman said:


> Seems to me you're pretty close to being cured of your SA. I couldn't fathom doing that on a first date....yet even making the date in the first place. Good luck to you.


Not really...I still have a very hard time making guy friends and forget about speaking up a lot in a group. I find it very hard to follow conversations and be really fun in those situations.

With one-on-one with a girl...I certainly still have SA..but it's gotten a lot better because I've practiced the fundamentals and I have no issue being physical. I've watched all the pickup videos, learned all the tips and tricks and I have a solid foundation because of it. In other words, logically I know how to talk to a girl and make her feel attraction towards me. In practice, it's a lot harder and will take a lot of work to get really good at it..but certainly because I know sorta what I'm doing I am much less nervous in those situations.


----------



## PaysageDHiver (Jun 18, 2011)

Respect.


----------



## NoName99 (Jul 3, 2011)

Two words for you. Imp. Ressive. Seems to me, as long as you keep up that attitude, you'll pull through anything. Remarkable.


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Thanks guys.

Now I feel sick again though. I saw on Facebook that my ex had the "BEST time ever" with her friends last night out at some bar in her hometown. And she was tagged in a bunch of pictures looking like she was having a great time. Now, I already knew she was out having fun and I know that she has every right too (I mean hell, I was having a good time too), but it still grinds my gears. The BEST time ever? Jeez. God it pisses me off so much that this gets to me. I was NOT in love with her! So why does it still hurt? Grrrrr.


----------



## DrMarianus (Dec 21, 2011)

rymo said:


> That's the problem..you're judging by the picture. I don't see how you can call someone a keeper just from their picture. I mean if you're talking purely about attractiveness then sure she is pretty but it's not like she's a supermodel or something.


Heck, I don't know anything. I've never had a girlfriend...which compels me to pass judgement superficially. But I prefer natural women instead of supermodels, that's a certainty.


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

jsgt said:


> Hey man, glad to hear it! Good luck, but be careful...since you're fresh out of a relationship.
> 
> ...also couldn't see the pic.


Of course not, you have to friend me on Facebook to be able to see it


----------



## NoName99 (Jul 3, 2011)

rymo said:


> Thanks guys.
> 
> Now I feel sick again though. I saw on Facebook that my ex had the "BEST time ever" with her friends last night out at some bar in her hometown. And she was tagged in a bunch of pictures looking like she was having a great time. Now, I already knew she was out having fun and I know that she has every right too (I mean hell, I was having a good time too), but it still grinds my gears. The BEST time ever? Jeez. God it pisses me off so much that this gets to me. I was NOT in love with her! So why does it still hurt? Grrrrr.


My guess is you may not have been in love with her, but you obviously connected in some way. It's okay to feel like that, don't beat yourself up over it. You had something and now it's over, so it's only natural to feel bad about it. Mind you, her saying she had the best time ever, it sounds more like she's trying to convince herself of it. Maybe it's her way of coping.


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

NoName99 said:


> My guess is you may not have been in love with her, but you obviously connected in some way. It's okay to feel like that, don't beat yourself up over it. You had something and now it's over, so it's only natural to feel bad about it. Mind you, her saying she had the best time ever, it sounds more like she's trying to convince herself of it. Maybe it's her way of coping.


That's true..she was always very good about masking her true emotions by putting on a stoic face, and she would only be emotional by herself..so that's why when we split it seemed like she cared less than me. I know she is probably having a tough time dealing with things too, though. You might be right.


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

NoName99 said:


> My guess is you may not have been in love with her, but you obviously connected in some way. It's okay to feel like that, don't beat yourself up over it. You had something and now it's over, so it's only natural to feel bad about it. Mind you, her saying she had the best time ever, it sounds more like she's trying to convince herself of it. Maybe it's her way of coping.


Unfortunately, and I'd hate to say this, but I think this is where the sexual activity is complicating things for him.

I never had any intention on joining Facebook or MySpace anyway. Family and friends can contact me the old-fashioned way. :lol


----------



## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

I noticed that some other chicks liked your "single" status, maybe they all like you haha xD


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Kathykook said:


> I noticed that some other chicks liked your "single" status, maybe they all like you haha xD


Cousin and ex-ex-girlfriend :b

Kook now that I'm single, will you marry me?


----------



## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

rymo said:


> Cousin and ex-ex-girlfriend :b
> 
> Kook now that I'm single, will you marry me?


Lol what a *****y ex ex.
Sure, but you have to move here.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

rymo said:


> Thanks.
> 
> Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1632747177


She is cute, but there are others out there.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

rymo said:


> but the point is to just keep trying and not doubt yourself.


You got it down.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

rymo said:


> Thanks guys.
> 
> Now I feel sick again though. I saw on Facebook that my ex had the "BEST time ever" with her friends last night out at some bar in her hometown. And she was tagged in a bunch of pictures looking like she was having a great time. Now, I already knew she was out having fun and I know that she has every right too (I mean hell, I was having a good time too), but it still grinds my gears. The BEST time ever? Jeez. God it pisses me off so much that this gets to me. I was NOT in love with her! So why does it still hurt? Grrrrr.


"Best time ever" is just a manner of speaking. And like you said, you were having fun too. And I'd wager you were more intimate with someone else than she was...


----------



## PaysageDHiver (Jun 18, 2011)

Sounds like she had a good time, but she may be using hyperbole to help her cope with the break-up, trying to convince herself that she isn't as down as she really is.


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Date #2 down. Wow...that was...interesting. She was from OkCupid, and on her profile it said down for casual sex. Even just during texting she kept saying I was cute, funny, bla bla bla. I pretty much knew it was going to go down before I even met her. I was being as funny as I could, but I don't even know if that would have mattered. Anyways, we met at a bar half way between us, talked for a few hours, and then went to her place. I'm not sure you can call it a place...it was more like a small room in an apartment building. The walls were cracking and it was messy as hell...just a hellhole and not the greatest neighborhood either. But she was attractive enough, a 6.5 or a 7, and I just wanted to have a good time and get over my ex. So we went at it a few times and after a while I took the walk of shame and left.

That was my first one-night stand, and I could absolutely see doing it again under different circumstances, but man last night was shady. The girl was a total ****, and I'm not saying that any girl who has a one-night stand is automatically a ****, but this girl just gave off that vibe. I'm not even going to go into details or I'll get banned. I just felt weird about the whole thing.

Anyways, while I'm overall glad I did it because it was an experience and ultimately it did boost my confidence, it was very odd because of the girl and the room and all that, and it actually did NOTHING to help me get over my ex. In fact, now I probably miss her even more because I keep comparing these girls to her. The way they kiss, the way they look, all that stuff.

The girl last night doesn't even compare to my ex, I'm not even going to bother with that one. The first girl, although very short, is more attractive face wise (and probably body wise too because she works out a lot) and more intelligent than my ex. She seemed more fun too and less rough around the edges personality-wise. That's great and all, but she seems to be the relationship type and I don't know if I want to get involved in that. I do like her though so I am planning on seeing her again. Now, the one comparison that isn't favorable for this one is the way she kisses. More teeth than tongue, it was very odd. It was like I was doing all the work and she wasn't responding, even though she was into it and even initiated it once. Whereas my ex would practically jam her tongue down my throat. I dunno, I liked that lol.

My ex: aggressive, tall, pretty, not my ideal body-type but still rocking it, not super smart or worldly, fun (when she wanted to be), funny, good kisser, selfish, hates video games, likes horrible tv shows/movies, tired all the time from her job, closed off emotionally until I pried it out of her (covered her true feelings with anger, mostly in the beginning)

Date 1 girl: short, extremely cute face, works out, nice, intelligent, likes video games, likes cool tv shows/movies, good job, very warm, seems to be a very happy person (e.g. she was saying she was a horrible story teller and I made fun of her about it but she just laughed it off, she was very happy with who she was), bad kisser (so far)

Sorry, I know this is coming off as 'white people problems' and it's very bloggy, but just doing that comparison told me a lot. I still feel like despite all the negatives there was just something about my ex that was charming and that made me really like her, but on paper it doesn't seem like it. I know she wasn't the one deep down inside, yet I am still just having a hard time dealing with all this. I should be happy that for the first time in my life I have the ability to get girls, and I know deep down my confidence is growing, but it's definitely being masked by my misery over the ex situation.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Honestly finding someone new didn't necessarily help me get over exes. It took time and consciously thinking about why we weren't meant to be. The other women just masked my problems. 

You can't do the distance thing? Don't want to? Don't think it's worth it?


----------



## cold fission cure (Aug 31, 2010)

rymo said:


> walls were cracking and it was messy as hell...just a hellhole So we went at it a few times and after a while I took the walk of shame and left.
> 
> That was my first one-night stand, but man last night was shady. The girl was a total ****, I just felt weird about the whole thing.


time to go to the health dept and get a blood test for stds


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

You don't get stds every time you have sex.


----------



## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

LMFAO you are so odd.


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

srschirm:1059682490 said:


> Honestly finding someone new didn't necessarily help me get over exes. It took time and consciously thinking about why we weren't meant to be. The other women just masked my problems.
> 
> You can't do the distance thing? Don't want to? Don't think it's worth it?


I don't feel like she is perfect for me, but yet I still want to be with her. It's like, I have this urge to play the field and meet tons of women and THEN be with someone who is the one. I might even be moving to NYC eventually and I would love to be single in the city. Ultimately, I am regretful that she fell out of love with me because of the circumstances and because I didn't put my best foot forward in the latter half of the relationship (after an incident I talked about in a another topic a few months ago). I became a different person and because of that and the whole moving thing emotions were stifled and confused and in a way I just wish it could have ended with a bang rather than a fizzle, because we did have something strong at one point. Not to mention, she hasn't moved quite yet and I am a jealous mess thinking about what she's up to. Well a mess is a bit strong but I am a bit down in the dumps about it.


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Kathykook:1059682606 said:


> LMFAO you are so odd.


Coming from the kook that means nothing :b


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

rymo said:


> I don't feel like she is perfect for me, but yet I still want to be with her. It's like, I have this urge to play the field and meet tons of women and THEN be with someone who is the one.


I really feel like this too. I mean I want to meet the one but it is so difficult to do, might as well have fun while you do it. It's hard just getting attention as a guy so we have to do what we have to do.


----------



## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

Don't sweat it. Just screw around for a while and I'm sure a girl will "be the one" eventually...get that **** out of your system so you dont become a 60 year old pervert who flashes chicks. Just don't get an STD. There are so many fish in the sea...so many girls. Your ex isn't the only girl on the planet.


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

I just feel like there's a void in my life I need to restore. I guess that's natural. I just can't wait until she ****ing moves so she's more out of sight out of mind.

One of the things that bothers the **** out of me is that I hang out with some of her friends now and I know she hung out with a close friend (a guy) on Sunday who I now play cards with. I don't think she actually hooked up with him, but even the thought just tortures me. Seriously I wish she would just go already.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

rymo said:


> That was my first one-night stand, and I could absolutely see doing it again under different circumstances, but man last night was shady. The girl was a total ****, and I'm not saying that any girl who has a one-night stand is automatically a ****, but this girl just gave off that vibe. I'm not even going to go into details or I'll get banned. I just felt weird about the whole thing.


Now I want to hear about this vibe.



> Now, the one comparison that isn't favorable for this one is the way she kisses. More teeth than tongue, it was very odd. It was like I was doing all the work and she wasn't responding, even though she was into it and even initiated it once. Whereas my ex would practically jam her tongue down my throat. I dunno, I liked that lol.


How do you kiss with teeth? I wonder about this cause one time I was with this guy who had kissed my friend and he said she kissed horribly and that their teeth banged. I was quite surprised cause she had kissed tons of guys before (she was my drinking partner). Her front teeth did jut out a bit though.


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

komorikun said:


> Now I want to hear about this vibe.


It was more than a ****ty vibe. It was a creepy vibe. She told me she got kicked out of her house at 17 for drugs and stuff and was always that type of on-the-fringe personality. Just getting by, independent, going from guy to guy. She's straightened out as far as the drugs go but you could tell she was a bit weird...very odd personality. Been with a lot of guys. And her apartment. Wow. It was actually a tiny room practically in the ghetto. It was a mess, crap everywhere. Condoms on her nightstand in plain sight. Clothes everywhere. The whole thing was just creepy as hell. I probably have AIDs now.



komorikun said:


> How do you kiss with teeth? I wonder about this cause one time I was with this guy who had kissed my friend and he said she kissed horribly and that their teeth banged. I was quite surprised cause she had kissed tons of guys before (she was my drinking partner). Her front teeth did jut out a bit though.


I would go in for the tongue action and her tongue would just sit there not moving, so naturally I would try to go farther in her mouth to meet hers but in the end we pretty much just ended hitting teeth. It wasn't nearly as awkward as it sounds but it was still disappointing. Essentially there was no real action going on on her end. I like to get in there and mix things up a bit ya know? She also cocked her head at almost a 90 degree angle to meet my lips lol. It was pretty comical, but I know she wasn't completely inexperienced or anything so I was surprised.


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

****Thread Lock Warning****
Okay, that's it - prepare for moderator action. This thread has gone over the threshold. It's too much for even the 18+ group.


----------

