# People think I am rude.



## ThatQuietGirl02 (Jan 14, 2014)

I tend to lack the ability to be able to fake emotion in my voice. For example, i am tired from a long day of work and I have a headache, if someone at the store attempts to make "small talk" with me, my lack of interest tends to show in my voice. If someone asks how I am I might say something as simple as "Good, just tired" but the way it comes out sounds rude to other people. My friends find it easy to fake a pleasant emotion but for me it is like pulling teeth to sound happy and vibrant if i am really tired and exhausted. My friends don't get offended because they know how i am but new people tend to get their feelings hurt easily. 

I guess I am lacking in this basic social skill.

Here is another example, 
My friend will be going out of town soon and is training me to take her place while she is gone. A daily routine for her is to visit the Fedex and drop off boxes there at the end of the day. Well at the end of the day I am tired, stressed about getting everything right and just ready to go home. We enter the FedEx and there is this girl/woman who works there that is fairly familiar with my friend. They engage in casual small talk while I am preparing the boxes keeping to myself because I honestly have nothing to talk about. Anyways the girl snaps to my friend out loud and says "she doesn't like me does she? she never talks". I answer saying that i am a quiet person and don't really talk to anyone. This girl has done this more than once. I guess she is determined to break the ice, or the idea of me not wishing to engage in small talk is simply mind boggling to her. My friend tells me that my unwillingness to small talk and actively socialize comes off as rude to others. I guess I come off as rather standoffish but instead of simply ignoring me this girl wants to point it out every day when we are in there and it is really annoying. My friend thinks she is nice as a can be but I find her rather obnoxious and annoying. 

I work and socialize with the people that I work with at my normal job but because I don't feel like chit chatting with someone when i am dead tired in FedEx I am suddenly a rude person.

Honestly, In the future if I walk in and greet her I can picture her saying something snarky like "Well, look who is finally talking to me today" out loud to another coworker or something.

Oh well..  Just wanted to vent.


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## Penguinfan (Apr 5, 2015)

Yeah, I agree. If you are not the most sociable person, tired, or just not in a chit chat mood, I don't like it people think you are being rude. I usually just try to say something to them, try to make at least some conversation with them, then tell them you are tired and would like to keep chatting but you don't want to. I hope they'll understand.


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## sukanya (Mar 22, 2015)

As you said the people who know you may understand, but you sound rude to new people, its quite obvious, you would feel the same if you got a rude response from someone. for a reason you are unaware of so I guess you need to attempt to be polite or give a weak smile and say you are tired to talk.. 

Just my opinion,


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

You're genuine in a sea of phonies, which is commendable. If social skills = fakeness, then to hell with social skills.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

I think first impressions sometimes sadly stick with people and if you come off as apathetic or rude, people might remember. Not that it'd be too late to get on better terms but people will often think back to how poorly you treated them/others in the past. Sadly when socializing, people have to sometimes try to smile and at least attempt at being amicable, even if they are not in the mood in order to establish a rapport with others. I agree that being honest about being tired or whatever is a good idea. If you're never in a happy mood around them though constantly, then they're obviously going to assume you harbor some sort of disdain for them.


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## Entrensik (Apr 25, 2014)

you should hear all the **** people say about me
"hes just shy"
"hes so quiet"
"he doesnt talk much does he?"
**** people


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## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

LawfulStupid said:


> You're genuine in a sea of phonies, which is commendable. If social skills = fakeness, then to hell with social skills.


I deem this comment -PERFECTION!:clap


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## UndreamingAwake (Apr 11, 2011)

I hear you. Same here. I'm very, very bad at pretending to feel a certain way when I obviously do not. Look on the bright side: you might make less friends, but the friends you _do _make know exactly who you are and are much more likely to accept you for you.


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

Yup same here..


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## chompers (Feb 3, 2015)

TBH I think this is the other people's problem, and there's nothing wrong with you.

Why is it considered rude for you to mind your own business, yet not considered rude for this complete stranger to start disciplining you about your behaviour with this passive aggressive crap? It's hypocrisy! Often people who complain about the manners of others do it in a very aggressive, condescending and mean way, yet the great digression of not saying please or thank-you or whatever somehow justifies this ridiculous over the top reaction.

Ultimately, you have to decide what's the more annoying option; having these jerks moan about how rude you are, or having to dance their stupid dance. Unfortunately both options stink.


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## happytobethisway (Jul 7, 2015)

i constantly feel like i have to hold back in what i say - like instead of saying "actually, i don't want to hang out with you guys because i've got better things to do" i'll agree to go and then cancel last minute. honestly i'd rather just be straight up and say how i feel but no one can handle it. society can't handle it. some people just irritate me after a while - they assume we are close but in my mind, i wouldn't tell them anything personal and i can't wait to phase them out for the next friend. sorry to say that because they are ok people but i just can't.


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## ThatQuietGirl02 (Jan 14, 2014)

chompers said:


> TBH I think this is the other people's problem, and there's nothing wrong with you.
> 
> Why is it considered rude for you to mind your own business, yet not considered rude for this complete stranger to start disciplining you about your behaviour with this passive aggressive crap? It's hypocrisy! Often people who complain about the manners of others do it in a very aggressive, condescending and mean way, yet the great digression of not saying please or thank-you or whatever somehow justifies this ridiculous over the top reaction.
> 
> Ultimately, you have to decide what's the more annoying option; having these jerks moan about how rude you are, or having to dance their stupid dance. Unfortunately both options stink.


Sorry for the late reply but YES I love how you put it in your comment. It kind of feels like that the people who are quiet and keep to themselves are almost punished for not being social butterflies, like it is some kind of personality problem that must be corrected.


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## ThatQuietGirl02 (Jan 14, 2014)

Also, an update....I have been seeing the woman at the Fedex but oddly enough NOW she is acting all quiet and not bothering me (Thank God). It is weird because when my friend was around she was annoying as furkin hell. Maybe someone said something to her, because she was doing it in front of other Fedex customers and it probably looked rude and unprofessional or maybe because she doesnt have the audience of my friend..who knows. I really thought I was going to have a problem with her.


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