# What do you think about people who have a preference for another race?



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Hmm. Well I should be asleep but I'm not so I'm making this thread.

I found this old thread on this forum about a certain preference in partners many people have that makes people angry (moreso than this topic tbh) but it got me thinking about preferences like that in general.

And then it got me thinking about this...

This topic has obviously been discussed before here, but usually from the point of view of 'people who only date their own race and are not willing to date others are close minded' or a 'which race are you more attracted to' poll (of which there are 20+ surely by now)

And I have no interest in that subject, that's been done to death.

What I am interested in though is what people think about people who are more attracted to races other than their own, or exclusively so.

I've noticed that this tends to attract criticism too. Like it's only OK to find every race equally attractive. If you only find your own race attractive you're racist, if you find one or more races that aren't your own race more attractive than it's a fetish.

I'm kind of curious about what people think about this - your own preference if you have one, if it's exclusive, And what you think about other people with such preferences.

Some key points I'm interested in based on what I've read/heard:

1. Do you feel differently when it's white people that are attracted to another race?
2. Do you think that it's because of the media that people who aren't white are sometimes more attracted to white people?
3. What about people who aren't white but who are attracted to a race other than their own that's also not white people? (pretty sure I could have found a better way to word that, but hopefully you get the gist)
4. Do you think these preferences are inherently negative?
5. Why do you think people have said preferences?

Obviously there's a lot of variation. Like some people have preferences for people from certain specific areas/countries with a certain accent/attitude etc and other people have a more physical based preference. I've been the subject of a crush before that I'm pretty sure was based largely on my nationality and the physical seemed incidental. I don't want to go into that in too much detail though..

To encourage sharing:

As for me personally, I'm White/European and I seem to have a slight physical preference for guys with for lack of a better word Asiatic features? (this primarily ends up being East Asian guys or guys who are of that/partially of that descent) it's not an exclusive preference at all, but if I'm honest if someone took a bunch of random guys with said features and then put them next to a bunch of other random guys, I'd probably find more of the guys with said features attractive than of the other random bunch. Probably. (You know, providing they were in a similar age group and all that.)

I'm not sure I consider it a neutral thing. Like, although it's purely physical it must stem from some kind of mental association? Probably? People seem to think so? I can't remember how far back it goes. I feel like it's become more pronounced though over the last couple of years but was definitely a thing before then too.

I don't judge other people for having such preferences at least when it's primarily physical or they don't make it all about.. Well, you know how some people get right? :|

and I don't know why this has to be such a big deal to me because people are fine with people having a preference for blondes, but I guess because this subject matter is so loaded and based on what I hear others say about this topic, it makes me worried sometimes that I might be really creepy. Maybe I am. I don't want to be though, you know? :|

If this thread sounds weird it's mostly because it's 4:33am and I've had a pretty weird day, I had a nervous breakdown (nothing to do with this thread lol) and now my eyes are really tired but my brain isn't D:

I hope this thread doesn't descend into complete chaos. :blank keep it civil.

(why are all my posts essays recently? Congrats if you read the whole thing.)

_Staff Edit: Please click the link below and read it before posting._

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/1081420153-post64.html


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

It's fine as long as you're not assuming things about their personality based on stereotypes. As an Asian girl, I find it annoying when men are attracted to me because they fantasize about having a submissive, traditional woman. I've had friends that were trapped in abusive relationships because these kind of men had serious control issues. My father raised me to have some "masculine" qualities and on top of all that, I'm stubborn and lose my temper easily which are traits that sometimes shock people. And despite being a motivated student, I am prone to rebellious behaviors which totally goes against Asian stereotypes. So everytime someone expresses interest because they expect me to act like a good girl that will do all their household chores for them, I just laugh and immediately turn down their offers.


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## hmnut (Aug 8, 2011)

I'm a black guy, and I find women from all ethnicities attractive, I have asked out and been rejected by women of every race, creed and color.

Having said that, I do have a slight bias in favor of Desi women. I attribute this mostly to where I grew up, a lot of Indian and Pakistani girls, very attractive and something of the forbidden fruit since a lot of them came from strict religious families and could not date in general and especially not a guy who wasn't Desi.
@acidicwithpanic, I know well what you are talking about. While I am attracted to women of all races, I have found as a black man, the women who reject me because of my race aren't that different than most of the women who want to date me because of my race. It seems the thug black guy stereotype is a source of attraction for a lot of women... since I'm nothing like that I don't want to be with a girl who wants a date a black guy because 'it's dangerous.'


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## Cashel (Oct 29, 2013)

Who cares? Are we getting to a point where we'll start socially ostracizing people for having preferences? People are attracted to who they are attracted to. I thought we settled that with the gay rights debate? Are gay men and lesbian women sexist because they aren't attracted to the opposite sex? I certainly don't think so. Why do people care so much who others are attracted to? Is it because they are selfish, or jealous maybe? Perhaps they just feel that their way of life is threatened, I don't know. What I do know is that people need to butt out of people's sexual preferences. Who do you think you are to tell a man who they should be attracted to? The GOP?
Since we all seem to be listing off our races and genders, I'm a white male.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

hmnut said:


> I'm a black guy, and I find women from all ethnicities attractive, I have asked out and been rejected by women of every race, creed and color.
> 
> Having said that, I do have a slight bias in favor of Desi women. I attribute this mostly to where I grew up, a lot of Indian and Pakistani girls, very attractive and something of the forbidden fruit since a lot of them came from strict religious families and could not date in general and especially not a guy who wasn't Desi.


I mean it would make sense for you to be attracted to Desi girls because you were surrounded by them. I don't have any preferences but due to the area I live in and the high school I went to, I've been involved with more black and white people. It's infuriating when people assume I'm a self-hating racist because I don't have much of a history of dating other Asians. I just happen to be interested in what's available to me and I blame my town for not being diverse.


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## Staticnz (Mar 25, 2013)

I actually have no problem with it. Everybody is free to choose what they want to do in their own life. But a lot of people have a problem with it.

I always think you can be a racist or a bad person, no problem, just keep it quiet and don't use it in your life to make other people's lives worse. Just be a racist loser in the closet and if you only ever go for white girls (and actually i sorta do myself), just do it and don't whine.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

I've never begrudged anyone their preferences. Whatever they're attracted to is their business and I'm not going to tell them they should be attracted to all races. I suppose you could call that a fetish, but you could probably call anything a fetish, couldn't you?

So I'd feel the same when white people are attracted to another race, although I guess that might be considered more acceptable than other races possibly due to racial politics and community/parental attitudes?

I wonder if the constant bombardment of whites in prime positions in the media creates a more positive image for them. Well, that goes without saying. That and being white doesn't really come with harmful social stigma, so it must be seen as safer. Who is more likely to be better off? To have a more "normative" appearance? I just read something that says "What would have made adaptive sense is a mechanism that detects skin color in the individuals one sees growing up and specifies a rule 'prefer a mate with the average skin color you've seen.'"

Of course it could ultimately come down to a matter of attraction, even when you're talking non-whites being attracted to non-whites. Maybe it's proximity-based, or cultural attraction, or some weird twist of the complicated parasite in our skulls.

So I don't think these preferences are inherently negative, I think they're personal and uncontrolled. Might as well own them. Nobody else has the right to decide whether they're good or bad or anything. They are yours, for better or for worse.

People could be influenced by the media or by some more intellectual reason, but I would suppose such preferences are for the most part "fetishes." The brain would be the top sexual organ... and being in developed society, we see a lot more variety so we don't necessarily have to be confined to that which is similar to us.

But what do I know... and go to bed :b


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## a degree of freedom (Sep 28, 2011)

I don't think anything except that humans seem to like to worry about this sort of thing. I have my preferences I didn't choose any more than you did, so I'm not about to judge someone for it. What I've heard and think is true is that your romantic preferences are set to some extent by your own family or people around you when you are very young. That makes a lot of sense to me.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

I'm attracted to Asian girls...sorry, acidicwithpanic.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Farideh said:


> I'm attracted to Asian girls...sorry, acidicwithpanic.


I didn't say it was wrong to be attracted to a specific race. I just don't think it's fair to associate degrading stereotypes on one's race and then take advantage of them for that in a relationship.


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

Having just a sexual preference is ok.
Hating someone because of their race is not.


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

Cashel said:


> Who cares? Are we getting to a point where we'll start socially ostracizing people for having preferences? People are attracted to who they are attracted to. I thought we settled that with the gay rights debate? Are gay men and lesbian women sexist because they aren't attracted to the opposite sex? I certainly don't think so. Why do people care so much who others are attracted to? Is it because they are selfish, or jealous maybe? Perhaps they just feel that their way of life is threatened, I don't know. What I do know is that people need to butt out of people's sexual preferences. Who do you think you are to tell a man who they should be attracted to? The GOP?
> Since we all seem to be listing off our races and genders, I'm a white male.


:clap


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

1. See below.
2. Among other things. Depends on what environment you grew up in, too.
3. I don't feel anything about them, except that it's a little weird.
4. Not if they are aesthetic. If you fetishize and expect specific a behavior/personality, it borders on racism.
5. A whole range of factors, I'd wager. Media, experiences growing up, cultural perceptions, adult entertainment and, yes, racism. Let's not pretend that everyone who's drawn to people outside their race is open-minded and humanistic, because sometimes there can be underlying prejudices, negative ones. As with everything else, attraction is not magical, it manifests for specific reasons which can be manipulated and not all of them are benign.

As for how I feel about it, it's all good except that miscegenation involving my own race, especially females (outside Caucasian-Asian of any gender combination) makes me uncomfortable for whatever reason. I put it down to the environment I grew up in, which was almost completely homogeneous (or at least appears that way) and rather racist. Or it could be some built-in instinct to ''protect'' the stock of your tribe. It's not reflected in how I treat others but I haven't been able to expel that particular taboo from my brain. Ah well, I own up to my prejudice and don't hurt anyone. I find very dark skintones appealing but it's certainly not a requirement, as if I can afford to be choosy.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

I'm an "Asian" male and primarily attracted to White women. This is probably because I wasn't social enough in high school to have many "Asian" friends and so my beauty standards are based on what I saw on TV and in movies. Plus it is rare to find "Asian", Black, and Latina women with the lifestyles and personality types I'm attracted to.



Cashel said:


> Who cares? Are we getting to a point where we'll start socially ostracizing people for having preferences? People are attracted to who they are attracted to. I thought we settled that with the gay rights debate? Are gay men and lesbian women sexist because they aren't attracted to the opposite sex? I certainly don't think so. Why do people care so much who others are attracted to? Is it because they are selfish, or jealous maybe? Perhaps they just feel that their way of life is threatened, I don't know. What I do know is that people need to butt out of people's sexual preferences. Who do you think you are to tell a man who they should be attracted to? The GOP?
> Since we all seem to be listing off our races and genders, I'm a white male.





Buckyx said:


> what the *** has race to do with anything? if you are attracted to other race because of attraction itself then ok? if you force your attraction based on race then you are weird but whatever, everyone is weird on this forum


Because we don't live in a colorblind world. As White people, you don't need to think about race except when us whiny oversensitive minorities bring it up. "Who cares?" as you say. The world IS colorblind to you, because White is seen as colorless -- the default race. But it isn't to us. Our skin color and facial features influence how society and our surrounding culture sees us.


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## Terranaut (Jul 11, 2013)

I dismiss race as a real thing. We are all out of Africa--it;s only a matter of how long ago did the group you came from leave. I always see beauty before color. And my working with predominately African American and Caribbean immigrants has led to many relationships. People judge me to "prefer" darker skin but it's not particularly true. I just go for what life brings and I have been in love more than one with African American and Jamaican females. Many of them are down to earth and view me as desirable. White women in NYC are way more apt to be here from out of town with wealthy families and want a wealthy guy with great upward mobility which turns them into dismissive snobs. Where I am now in Virginia Beach there is a ton of tattooed trailer trash and I just can't get by the ink. I'd gladly partner up with another sweet woman of color who isn't ghetto or inked up.


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## SuperSky (Feb 16, 2011)

tldr but my thoughts are that it sounds bad when explicitly stated, but realistically is just another set of preferences. So initially it's like "wtf that's kind of whacked" if they bring it up out of seemingly nowhere, but then "well I can see how that applies, I prefer features that are more like XXX which tend to be on ZZZ people."


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Hmm. Well I should be asleep but I'm not so I'm making this thread.


I'm glad you make these sleepy threads. They're usually pretty interesting.

I'm very pale white, but I've always had a preference for *really* dark skin. I've had this preference as far back as I can remember. Long before I ever learned that there where things like racists and fetishists. A person's race would never be a factor in my decision whether or not to date them, though obviously their appearance would be a factor and it's not always easy to separate the two.

I grew up in a very homogeneous environment. Over 99% of the people I grew up with were white, and I've been subjected to the same "white" media as everyone else; nevertheless, I don't find white people more attractive than other races. I really think some of these preferences are purely sensory and based on the peculiarities of individual brains.



Persephone The Dread said:


> 1. Do you feel differently when it's white people that are attracted to another race?
> 2. Do you think that it's because of the media that people who aren't white are sometimes more attracted to white people?
> 3. What about people who aren't white but who are attracted to a race other than their own that's also not white people? (pretty sure I could have found a better way to word that, but hopefully you get the gist)
> 4. Do you think these preferences are inherently negative?
> 5. Why do you think people have said preferences?


1. No.
2. Maybe. I think it creates a bias: if the media is filled primarily with beautiful people, and most of those people are white, it might create the impression that white people are more attractive than people of other races on average. Classic selection bias. If there were equal numbers of people of every background in the media, this bias would disappear, but people would still have preferences.
3. No difference.
4. I don't think they're inherently negative for the same reason I don't think having a preference for cherries over strawberries is negative.
5. For the same reason they have preferences for cherries or strawberries. I look at pale skin and it creates a certain pattern of excitement in my brain; I look at dark skin and it creates a slightly different pattern of excitement in my brain. One of these patterns is bound to be stronger than the other, thus creating a preference. In my case, generally speaking, the darker a person's skin is, the more attractive I find it to be. (Focusing just on the color of the skin.)

Judging people for their preferences over things like skin color, lip shape, eye shape, nose shape, etc., seems about as irrational to me as judging them for their food preferences or their favorite time of year.



hmnut said:


> It seems the thug black guy stereotype is a source of attraction for a lot of women... since I'm nothing like that I don't want to be with a girl who wants a date a black guy because 'it's dangerous.'


I dislike thugs of any color. Unless they're particularly dashing and brilliant and like to quote literature. My attraction to men and women with dark skin is purely aesthetic and has nothing to do with personality stereotypes. But if I tell people I'm attracted to black men or women _other people_ automatically assume that I'm fetishizing them. Which is not only infuriating but sort of ironic since transwomen don't seem to *have* any existence in our culture outside of fetish sex and SJW controversies.


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## Cashel (Oct 29, 2013)

vicente said:


> I'm an "Asian" male and primarily attracted to White women. This is probably because I wasn't social enough in high school to have many "Asian" friends and so my beauty standards are based on what I saw on TV and in movies. Plus it is rare to find "Asian", Black, and Latina women with the lifestyles and personality types I'm attracted to.
> 
> Because we don't live in a colorblind world. As White people, you don't need to think about race except when us whiny oversensitive minorities bring it up. "Who cares?" as you say. The world IS colorblind to you, because White is seen as colorless -- the default race. But it isn't to us. Our skin color and facial features influence how society and our surrounding culture sees us.


 When did I ever claim to be colorblind? There is no such thing as a default race, we all come from a common ancestor and we have evolved according to the regions that our more recent ancestors settled in. I simply believe that people should be allowed to love who they love without question. I don't see the point that you're trying to make.

Do you believe that people have a right to be attracted to who they are attracted to or do you believe that you should be allowed to dictate who others are attracted to?


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

I would have to admit that I find Asian women quite attractive in general. I don't go by stereotypes and well, if you think I'm fetishizing them purely for the aforementioned then feel free to sue me (because I could certainly care less).

With that said, I have dated pretty much every race except for black. Let me explicitly state that I am not against dating a black girl at all by the way, it's just that any that I have found myself attracted to or spoken to in the past simply wouldn't have fell within the specific logistical requirements for dating, so therefore it hasn't happened. If that weren't the case then I would happily have dated a black girl at any given time, so long as there was a mutual attraction there both physically and emotionally.

Anyway, a preference is a preference. I don't see the point in getting all indignant because you feel a great injustice has been done due to a white guy liking only Asian girls for example. Let that person like whatever the **** he wants to..


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## Staticnz (Mar 25, 2013)

I think people display very odd conceptions of race. A lot of people seem to overemphasise it and a lot of people pretend race doesn't exist. I think both views lead to disastrous results and racial confusion in the long run.

Humans always have had preferences based on physical traits. That's just human biology, and it can result in racial preference. Studies show people can gravitate towards people who look like them. I gotta be honest most of the porn I look at is white girls, occasionally Asian girls, not often black girls.

This was not a conscious decision, and I don't make a decision to ever be attracted based on race, it's just what I feel attracted to. Just like some people like skinny girls, some like heavier girls...I just like, hmm, 'regular' body types. And I'm not into huge boobs, but I like big butts. Most of girls I look at happen to be white. Then again I don't really know any black girls so it's outside my experience.

Yeah in fact a lot of this probably stems from experience. Never dated a non-white girl. But also not saying that's all a good thing, and don't advocate anyone to just 'stick' to their own race. I just think humans have biological urges and sometimes that can extend to racial preference. Although it offends the sensibilities and feels 'racist'.

I also believe there is no biological superiority to any race or people. There is only people discriminating based on 'what they are into'.


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## Fangirl96 (Apr 13, 2015)

Whatever floats your boat. It's not my life, people can date who the hell they want.


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## Dre12 (Jul 25, 2014)

I used to have a 'thing' for black women and was in a relationship with a black woman for a short while. I didn't go out look specifically for a black woman it just turned out that way. I would date a person of any race though I couldn't be with a committed theist.

Broadly I am more attracted to women with dark features though I am still attracted to women without those features. 

Specific racial preferences seem as bit odd to me, restrictive, but each to their own.


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## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

as an asian girl, yellow fever (exclusively) grosses me out. i'm sorry if you can't help your preference, but i can't help being grossed out by you either.. so i guess live and let live? lol idk. most of the time their reasoning behind this is whack anyway. like i knew a european guy who thought whites (and europeans in particular)were racially/culturally superior to other races, and yet had a thing for asian women only. it's like dude how tf does your mind even work???

i think the general standard of beauty today in many parts of the world is shifted towards more typically "european" features: deep-set eyes, high nose bridge and cheek bones, slender face, etc. so it makes sense that more people would be attracted to that.


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## ljubo (Jul 26, 2015)

No problem at all.

But i like eastern-europe woman the most....


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Hmm OK. Well I'm leaving this forum now, bye.


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## Aribeth (Jan 14, 2012)

Normal.


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Hmm OK. Well I'm leaving this forum now, bye.


lol what did you really expect though?


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## roscopc (Aug 1, 2015)

I don't have any issue with it, however I have generally been (tho not always) attracted to fairer skinned women than myself, since I'm olive-skinned and relatively dark for a white person.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

gopherinferno said:


> lol what did you really expect though?


Lol were you waiting to respond like that?

Anyway, as I said.


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## Gojira (Jun 1, 2015)

Do I have to pick just one??


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

I am attracted mostly to Asian Women (particularly eastern Asians). This is not to say I can't date women of other races. They just have to display other [significant] qualities that are important to me.

If I'm to be completely honest though, I feel like it would be me just settling with someone if she wasn't Asian. Because I can't help it that I find them to be the most attractive women.

Why that might be? It could because the environment I was raised didn't have very many Asians. So when I see a cute Asian girl it makes my head explode.


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

bad baby said:


> as an asian girl, yellow fever (exclusively) grosses me out.* i'm sorry if you can't help your preference, but i can't help being grossed out by you either*.. so i guess live and let live? lol idk. most of the time their reasoning behind this is whack anyway. like i knew a european guy who thought whites (and europeans in particular)were racially/culturally superior to other races, and yet had a thing for asian women only. it's like dude how tf does your mind even work???
> 
> i think the general standard of beauty today in many parts of the world is shifted towards more typically "european" features: deep-set eyes, high nose bridge and cheek bones, slender face, etc. so it makes sense that more people would be attracted to that.


It's that much of a disaster to have a preference? 

Its not like I wouldn't ever sought out a woman of another race if I found her attractive in other ways.


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## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

Ignopius said:


> It's that much of a disaster to have a preference?
> 
> Its not like I wouldn't ever sought out a woman of another race if I found her attractive in other ways.


i meant guys that ONLY like asian women, because they are supposedly submissive or some other ridiculous reason like that... probably should've qualified that in my original comment but i wrote it at like 5am in the morning and it's a wonder i could even form coherent sentences at all.

also i didn't understand the last bit there. do you mean to say that you wouldn't rule out dating a woman of a different race?


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

I've gone through phases in life with just about every "race" (rapid phases, might I add). I think all kinds of women are beautiful, I don't see how any man wouldn't feel the same  Though, admittedly, my reason for a phase wasn't always wise, but I've never been against dating a particular race.

*"1. Do you feel differently when it's white people that are attracted to another race?"*

- I think it's especially sweet and interesting because I know how hard it can be for some white families to mix, especially with colored people, but the same can be said for any race in the right culture. Aside from moreso physical societal pressure, I believe the ego can have a large part in racial preference, but it's not quite racism, it's more like idealizing a genre of clique in school or aiming to support some type of self image.

*"2. Do you think that it's because of the media that people who aren't white are sometimes more attracted to white people?"*

- Not exactly, I think exposure and image, more specifically, is what's significant about the media, but I also think culture, in general, has an impact.

*"3. What about people who aren't white but who are attracted to a race other than their own that's also not white people? (pretty sure I could have found a better way to word that, but hopefully you get the gist)"*

- I appreciate the fact that people can love each other. The fact that some people fall outside of what's typical in terms of preference only seems like a good thing to me, any reason to see someone as special is better than none. Besides, there are enough people to go around, so it's not like anyone's preference is stopping me from getting my ideal partner (though, I think ideals can be overrated).

*"4. Do you think these preferences are inherently negative?"*

- No. You can still love and respect all races while having a particular fondness for one that isn't based off of some unconscious hierarchy or perversion. I would make an analogy to support my point, but I doubt comparing people to objects is a good idea, despite its accuracy  My point is; although not always the case, what's common enough is having a racial preference without feeling like your preference is somehow superior to others.

*"5. Why do you think people have said preferences?"*

- I doubt the cause and influence is the same for everyone, for some it might be more biological, for some it might be more perceptual. Exposure to ideas and facts, the ego, intelligence, and simply being human all contribute.


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

bad baby said:


> i meant guys that ONLY like asian women, *because they are supposedly submissive or some other reason.*.. probably should've qualified that in my original comment but it was like 5am in the morning and it's a wonder i could even form coherent sentences.
> 
> also i didn't understand the last bit there. do you mean to say that you wouldn't rule out dating a woman of a different race?


That's not why I'm attracted to Asian women. It has to do with their facial features, tone, hair (the almost silky black hair), that I like.

Nope. I wouldn't rule it out. Just at a subconscious level that I can't exactly control. I would feel as if I'm 'settling' for any other race.

It's really no different than women who prefer tall and muscular guys.


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

^didn't know you dig asian girls.


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## idoughnutknow (Apr 7, 2014)

I've got a slight preference for the hurdles, but I can see the appeal of the 100m sprint and the marathon. To each their own.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Staticnz said:


> Humans always have had preferences based on physical traits. That's just human biology, and it can result in racial preference. Studies show people can gravitate towards people who look like them. I gotta be honest most of the porn I look at is white girls, occasionally Asian girls, not often black girls.
> 
> This was not a conscious decision, and I don't make a decision to ever be attracted based on race, it's just what I feel attracted to. Just like some people like skinny girls, some like heavier girls...I just like, hmm, 'regular' body types. And I'm not into huge boobs, but I like big butts. Most of girls I look at happen to be white. Then again I don't really know any black girls so it's outside my experience.
> 
> Yeah in fact a lot of this probably stems from experience. Never dated a non-white girl. But also not saying that's all a good thing, and don't advocate anyone to just 'stick' to their own race. I just think humans have biological urges and sometimes that can extend to racial preference. Although it offends the sensibilities and feels 'racist'.


I've found that people who argue that humans are hard-wired to be attracted to people who look like them almost always are White people. If you were to ask non-White people living in primarily White countries, they would beg to differ. If you were raised in an African country, you would be primarily attracted to Black people, assuming there was no racism and segregation.

Racial preference is not a conscious decision. It doesn't make you a bad person for preferring to only date White people. But you have to recognize that your preferences come from your personal experiences and culture, and are not an innate feature of who you are from birth. And this preference to date the default race (White) is much more convenient for you than for certain other people. Try to put yourself in the shoes of a Black woman or "Asian" man who is only attracted to White people and finds that the people they are attracted to only view her or him as a friend. It's no individual person's fault, not asking you to feel guilty or to force yourself to date minorities, who you don't find attractive. I'm only asking that you understand that things aren't so simple.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

acidicwithpanic said:


> It's fine as long as you're not assuming things about their personality based on stereotypes.* As an Asian girl, I find it annoying when men are attracted to me because they fantasize about having a submissive, traditional woman. *I've had friends that were trapped in abusive relationships because these kind of men had serious control issues. My father raised me to have some "masculine" qualities and on top of all that, I'm stubborn and lose my temper easily which are traits that sometimes shock people. And despite being a motivated student, I am prone to rebellious behaviors which totally goes against Asian stereotypes. So everytime someone expresses interest because they expect me to act like a good girl that will do all their household chores for them, I just laugh and immediately turn down their offers.


I would get so annoyed by that, too uke


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## Staticnz (Mar 25, 2013)

vicente said:


> I've found that people who argue that humans are hard-wired to be attracted to people who look like them almost always are White people. If you were to ask non-White people living in primarily White countries, they would beg to differ. If you were raised in an African country, you would be primarily attracted to Black people, assuming there was no racism and segregation.
> 
> Racial preference is not a conscious decision. It doesn't make you a bad person for preferring to only date White people. But you have to recognize that your preferences come from your personal experiences and culture, and are not an innate feature of who you are from birth. And this preference to date the default race (White) is much more convenient for you than for certain other people. Try to put yourself in the shoes of a Black woman or "Asian" man who is only attracted to White people and finds that the people they are attracted to only view her or him as a friend. It's no individual person's fault, not asking you to feel guilty or to force yourself to date minorities, who you don't find attractive. I'm only asking that you understand that things aren't so simple.


Yeah we don't actually disagree that much, I don't believe.

I mean this is yet another nature vs. nurture discussion in my view. To what extent is a racial preference engrained and to what extent learned? I think it's a bit of mixture there.

I mean gotta be honest about my situation, I live in a bit of a middle class white bubble. My experience has been limited to being with white girls, not from any real conscious decision. So maybe a lot of my view stems from 'nurture' to a large degree. I wanted to be with a Japanese girl once upon a time but I could never meet one I had a spark with.

I think 'hard-wired' is a bit strong. I just think biologically we are more likely to be attracted to people who look like us, and a lot of studies play that out. So I think there is somewhat of an evolutionary basis for this (for better or worse), which can in some cases lead to overt racism and discrimination.

Like yeah particularly racist people seem to extrapolate from some general preference for their own race...to a value judgement of the qualities of other races in comparison to theirs, and a need to 'stick with' your own race for some bizarre drive to 'preserve ' it...that never makes any sense to me and it's just moronic.

If white people died out in the long run, why the fack would I give a crap? If everyone on earth were black...so fricken' what? I don't understand that fear. It's idiotic.

And yeah for me a lot of it is a matter of convenience. What is available, who do I see on the dating profiles, and what's most within my comfort zone? Probably white girls... :-/


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

probably offline said:


> I would get so annoyed by that, too


Also just to clarify things, I don't mind the people who are attracted to me because of my facial features that are associated with Asians. That's fine and not creepy. People that are attracted to the look can't really pinpoint a specific reason as to why they find certain physical characteristics appealing. Things get weird though when you pressure your partner to fit a stereotype. It's just not okay to try to change your partner when there was no problem to begin with.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

It's not really a choice for me. I just can't find black or asian women all that attractive even if I try.


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## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

Ignopius said:


> That's not why I'm attracted to Asian women. It has to do with their facial features, tone, hair (the almost silky black hair), that I like.
> 
> Nope. I wouldn't rule it out. Just at a subconscious level that I can't exactly control. I would feel as if I'm 'settling' for any other race.
> 
> It's really no different than women who prefer tall and muscular guys.


yea yea you're an unconventional yellow fever hipster we get it

PS. i'm being facetious. i have no problems with people liking what they like as long as it's not based on some ridiculous stereotype, and even then it's none of my business. lol

P.PS. i totally edited my comment after i posted it and yet you still quoted my unedited/poorly-worded version. ;_;


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I only find it weird when they claim they have no preference but all their previous girlfriends were Asian or all their previous boyfriends were black.


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Lol were you waiting to respond like that?
> 
> Anyway, as I said.


yes. i'm the batman of this site. except i don't save anyone and i don't fight evil. i just skulk and come out of the shadows and random times.


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

idoughnutknow said:


> I've got a slight preference for the hurdles, but I can see the appeal of the 100m sprint and the marathon. To each their own.


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## pandana (Jul 13, 2015)

As long as you don't hate on others in the process, love who you want.


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

It's a wierd fetish and I usually think little of such individuals on this matter. They are either controlled by some stereotypes that some other race is a lot better on some aspect or in general, they have a wierd way of seeing things because of some mental aspect or they are very shallow(''oh, asian men are sooo kawaiiii!!!'' Get real, life is not an anime, a korean soap opera or a K-pop or J-pop band). 

What group do I find to be the most annoying? White girls who only date black men cause they ''all have huge d***s'' (the most stupid stereotype only idiots believe in) and they are ''real men unlike men from other races''(even believing in the made up concept of ''real men'' makes you a moron and a douchebag. Not to mention that these so called ''real men'' are more likely to beat the **** out of you and treat you like an inferior individual. But, hey! At least they are ''real''. loool!). I have more respect for a dog turd I just stepped on than for these girls.

And don't try to argue that it is not a fetish or some mental issue that makes you view another race in an idealized manner. Have you ever seen bonobos trying to hump chimps as normal behaviour?

And to answer the other question Persephone and maybe a few others may have in mind on this matter(''Would you date a girl that used to date another race?''), my reply is a short and decisive: ''NO!''.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

sad vlad said:


> It's a wierd fetish and I usually think little of such individuals on this matter. They are either controlled by some stereotypes that some other race is a lot better on some aspect or in general, they have a wierd way of seeing things because of some mental aspect or they are very shallow(''oh, asian men are sooo kawaiiii!!!'' Get real, life is not an anime, a korean soap opera or a K-pop or J-pop band).
> 
> What group do I find to be the most annoying? White girls who only date black men cause they ''all have huge d***s'' (the most stupid stereotype only idiots believe in) and they are ''real men unlike men from other races''(even believing in the made up concept of ''real men'' makes you a moron and a douchebag. Not to mention that these so called ''real men'' are more likely to beat the **** out of you and treat you like an inferior individual. But, hey! At least they are ''real''. loool!). I have more respect for a dog turd I just stepped on than for these girls.
> 
> ...


Jesus Christ dude. I said I wasn't going to post for a while but Jesus Christ. I was going to respond on Skype (and then delete you even though we don't talk because holy **** I didn't realise you were like this,) but this is just too bad. I don't know where to start.

I'll bullet point this:

1. Firstly Bonobos and chimpanzees are a different species do you think the different races are different species? Because they're not. 'Races' are just arbitrary labels to define a spectrum of physical traits that slowly blend into one another.

2. Are most Romanians this backwards? I hope/assume not?

3. Are you so annoyed by the idea because you're white and you feel your ego has been slighted by women's interest in a race that isn't yours? I've noticed you tend to get really annoyed at anybody who does say anything bad about some trait you have (and by bad I really mean even if they neutrally express disinterest, they don't have to be offensive at all before you get annoyed.)

4. What makes you think I want to know whether you'd date women who have dated outside their race? That wasn't the point of this thread and now I definitely couldn't care less.

5. Not everyone who has a preference has some kind of fetish born out of stereotypes or wants to date a walking stereotype.

6. You think you're better than them? (the people who want a 'kpop boyfriend' or are obsessed with anime?) No you are worse because there's one key difference: your preferences are born out of hate. Even though stereotypes aren't good, assuming that black guys are going to beat up their girlfriends is a far more damaging stereotype than assuming black guys have big d***s.

7. Do you think that women who have dated outside their race in the past are tainted or something is that it?

Damn son. I mean I knew you had some issues but I thought you were alright.


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## TCNY (Dec 3, 2014)

i suddenly look forward to the future of this thread


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Jesus Christ dude. I said I wasn't going to post for a while but Jesus Christ. I was going to respond on Skype (and then delete you even though we don't talk because holy **** I didn't realise you were like this,) but this is just too bad. I don't know where to start.
> 
> I'll bullet point this:
> 
> ...


1. Bonobos and Chimps was just a random example. I could have said **** Sapiens and Neanderthals or anything else. Some lived the same period of time. By the way, the difference between bonobos and chimps(as different species) and our races is not as big as you are trying to make it. Just a slightly different % of match of the genetic code. They are all still mammals.

By some positions on this site, even ''interspecies relationships'' should be supported(like humans and dogs or humans and horses, etc.). I would have understood your outrage if I would have said Crocodiles and Flees. But, ok. I'll take your highly relevant correction into account. Moving on.

2. Are most Westerners so annoyingly liberal and feel superior cause they are so ''open minded'' and ''politically correct''? Cause that sometimes makes me wanna puke. You are just as full of **** from different reasons as any other part of the world. Just that the hypocrisy in the West seems to know no boundaries. And I could go on and on with the examples but I see no point in it. Do you like that? I would just generalize everyone to the positions of a few people on some mental health site.

By the way, if this site would have been hosted in any other part than the minority of the world known as ''The West'', you would have taken the **** I am taking from you and some other ''enlightened ones'', from the opposite reason. So try to feel really good about your superior stance and higher moral ground, while being in the safety space that this site is providing you, with many fans ready to mirror your opinion(no matter what that might be) and being part of the majority.

3. Huh!? You tend to imagine too many things. It seems to be very common on this site. I have the same opinion on black or asian girls that think white men are a trophy, they are more sensitive and whatnot, just cause they happen to be white. Just as I dislike girls or guys who would only date foreign people from richer countries cause they are ''just so much better''. Yeah, happening to be born in a richer country is a treasured merit. One worked so hard for it.

4. I know for a fact you are/were interested in why some people say they would not date people that dated other races before. Because you asked it on the many threads you have made on the same topic (that seems to obssess you far more than me): Interracial relationships/prefferences. That's why. Obviously.

The fact you decided to answer in such a *****y and aggressive way confirms that the topic you presented here(for the 10th time since I'm on this site) and the underlying question of why some would not want to date girls that have been in interracial relationships, is still big on your mind. Probably because of your asian fetish, the fear of what others may think of it and the fear that if it faded away, white guys would avoid you. Sure, the last part is a bit of a stretch cause I do not know the real you, just as you do not know the real me. But that is what your posts made it look like.

5. I agree that ''not everyone''. But if a person only dates outside their race, _which was my main focus on that part_, they do have a fetish, are very shallow and believe in stereotypes or have a mental issue that is screwing with their perception of the race they have a fetish for. They obviously idealize that race.

6. I didn't state that I feel superior. I have no problem with people that are part of another race. I have a problem with those that are idealizing other races. I like anime by the way. I don't hate anyone because of anime, K-pop, whatever. I dislike people who have a fetish for other races and is my choice not to date people that already dated some other race. Not that I'm very keen of people that had tons of relationships inside their own race either.

Is my position inflexible on this? Yes, but it's my opinion with which nobody said you should agree. Is your position not inflexible or is it better? Of course not. The fact you went to such lengths to transform me into a complete *******, delete me on some chat you aren't even much using(as if I'm suddenly the spawn of Satan or my mere presence there will somehow intoxicate your pure aura/karma), try to publicly shame me for my ''outrageous''(though honest) position, label me as ''backwards'' and extrapolate that insult to my whole nation...well, that surely makes you and those like you a lot better human beings, more open minded and overall superior. Oh, yes...

7. If you would have read what I wrote, carefully, and process it in a calm and slightly more rational manner, you would have not asked this question. Cause I already explained why.

Don't worry. Although it is the biggest slap life has ever given me, I will try to survive your deletion. It will be mighty hard, I won't lie, but with enough meds and therapy I hope I will make it. Besides, as far as chatting goes, we both know I am the more chatting and friendly one. You lost a possible true friend over an irrational reaction to one opinion that I made on a small aspect of life, in general. Whatever, your choice.

I won't start throwing the kind of insults you put in the last part of your reply and somewhere in the beginning. Unlike you, I don't hate and completely devaluate a person because of a single post or a contrary opinion/stance on a certain matter. Have you noticed how I still talked to you despite knowing about your fetish from my very beginning on this site? And even complimented you for being cute and having natural social skills that you should try to use in real life, etc? Your current post and a few others that you made in the past(while being in the ''White Knight'' mode) will not make me take those compliments away. And I have no problem to say that publicly. I still believe those. But hey, you are right, I am in fact plain evil or I am from this point on.

I can also assure you that my mental issues are restricted to Social Phobia and Chronic Depression only. A battle that I have been carrying my whole life, but more effectively the past few years with lots of money spent on therapy and meds. Will I ever feel good enough? I really don't know. I had my own suicidal thoughts, so who knows? But, hey, at least compared to other people here, I really put up a fight and have yet to give up.

I also assure you the fact I think differently than you on this matter does not mean I'm less of a human being or I am more mentally ill than you. Actually, to keep honesty till the last, I think you are a bit worse than me.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

@sad vlad ^ dunno what you're talking about this is the only thread I've made on this topic perhaps you are getting me mixed up with someone else?

Bonobos and chimpanzees can't breed can they? (and if they can, their offspring is sterile something that doesn't happen with Humans, a better comparison would be two cats with different coloured fur) So I think the comparison is incorrect.

I answered in an aggressive way because you did too. I guess you don't realise when it's you doing it?

I don't feel my opinion is superior just that yours is messed up and hateful. You can try and justify it however you like but if you refuse to date people based on the fact that they have previously dated others of another race to you there is no reasonable explanation for that that doesn't involve you thinking lesser of them for having dated people of another race. That's obviously true because you didn't answer me because you couldn't. If I reread what you said (and I did a few times before responding actually) all I get from it is that you're pissed that some women have preferences for a race that isn't yours, you claiming you know why they have those preferences, and then after all those horrible things you said (including that negative stereotype about black guys) saying 'No I wouldn't date a woman who had previously dated someone of another race' and then you can't even answer why you think that. So yeah, it's pretty obvious that you think lesser of them because they dated someone of another race. There are only so many reasons why that could be.

I don't have a problem with people who aren't attracted to people of other races their reasoning _sometimes _ can be ridiculous (racial purity,) but generally people can't help what they're attracted to. I do have an issue with people like you who have clearly built up a lot of anger around those who have been in interracial relationships, and put them down/assume things. In your last paragraph you made it pretty clear that you view any women who has previously dated someone of another race in that negative way as well. If you meant something entirely different from what you said in your post, than I can't be expected to know that based on your exact wording.

Lol I know not all Romanians are like you, I was using that to highlight how dumb your stereotyping of other people is.

No, believe me I'm well aware of all my issues but you really aren't aware of yours at all. Other people have even pointed out your ****ty attitude in posts before. You just ignore it because you like to tell yourself you're awesome.

I'm on skype fairly often, I blocked you a while ago because I was uncomfortable with the way you previously acted towards other posters on this forum that I like and then just forgot about you tbh. I just figured I'd give you a chance by not deleting you but I have deleted you now.

Edit: Oh and a crocodile and a flea, I really couldn't care less if they decided to have sex. Why would I be outraged about that? I can't see how it would work what with the obvious physiological differences, but if they want to try more power to them.

The problem with other animals and Humans having sex is that you can't know if they're consenting, and Humans are intelligent enough to acknowledge that. In theory I have no problem with Humans and animals having sex if consent is proven, as it stands it's a grey area though, so my opinion on it is also grey. I'm not big on Humans raping other Humans either.

Your assumptions are ridiculous by the way. If you read my post you'd realise I said 'it's not an exclusive preference at all' and I don't care if some white guys are bothered about the fact that I find guys of other races attractive, I would not want to date someone who was insecure about that.


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## Aribeth (Jan 14, 2012)

Oh my god look who's back  Save us, Persephone!


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## Blakey (Jul 5, 2014)

sad vlad said:


> By some positions on this site, even ''interspecies relationships'' should be supported(like humans and dogs or humans and horse, etc.).


Whaaaa?


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## HelpfulHero (Aug 14, 2013)

I think a certain percentage will always prefer "exoticism" because it tends to lead to a healthier mix of genes.


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

Blakey said:


> Whaaaa?


You must have missed those threads and awesome posts. Even pedophilia should be supported. Why not? Ask Aribeth. Her posts always make me laugh. She has that involuntar humour.


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## Dre12 (Jul 25, 2014)

@*sad vlad*

How do you define your race?


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

@*Persephone The Dread* : I noticed you wrote something but I am busy with something else. Will read and reply some time later. Hopefully a far shorter and neutral reply.

@*Aribeth* : We had an agreement to avoid each other. Keep that agreement and stop trying to bait me. This forum will be saved from your presence way before I will be removed from this site. Of course, in my case I can take breaks from it whenever I want. Or leave it. Which I most likely will in the near future. You can't do that and were already banned once.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

I think a lot of them are just kind of doing it to seem cool or for PC reasons which will evaporate when they find themselves in a relationship with someone they have nothing in common with.


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

dude brought a tank and 12 iron mans to a knife fight. but they all broke down.


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## Dre12 (Jul 25, 2014)

knightofdespair said:


> I think a lot of them are just kind of doing it to seem cool or for PC reasons which will evaporate when they find themselves in a relationship with someone they have nothing in common with.


Seriously?

I think that a fair few do it based on a sexual predilection but I find the implication that you can't have anything in common with someone outside of your own race to be absolutely ludicrous.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

The posts in this thread need to start getting less hostile and personal or this thread will be closed if you can't do that.


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

sad vlad said:


> 6. I didn't state that I feel superior. I have no problem with people that are part of another race. I have a problem with those that are idealizing other races. I like anime by the way. I don't hate anyone because of anime, K-pop, whatever. I dislike people who have a fetish for other races and is my choice not to date people that already dated some other race. Not that I'm very keen of people that had tons of relationships inside their own race either.


I don't understand. If a girl was willing to date you then wouldn't that mean she was willing to date white guys regardless of who she dated before? Also if you really hit if off with a girl but then found out a bit later that she had dated guys that weren't white in the past you would be like "No can do. See ya later." ?


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## BillDauterive (Oct 24, 2012)

I'll be biased since I am not at all attracted to women of my ethnicity. Do I feel a bit guilty, bad, ashamed of it? Yes, I do in all honestly. But I have multiple reasons which I justify myself (no matter if they are right or wrong) not to be attracted to women of my own ethnicity. 

I'd say the main reasons are one; I have been raised around people of my ethnicity my entire life and would plain and simple like a fresh change, a chance to experience a new culture, language, etc. 

Another is that my ethnicity on average is the most educated and makes the most money in the U.S. I clearly don't live up to their high academic and career expectations and am a failure to my ethnicity. I'd like to think that all the successful, high earning women of my ethnicity would want nothing to do with me when they see my educational background and income. I am not just good enough for them plain and simple. 

The last is that I have little to no ties to my culture. Ironically, I was born in my homeland (but never lived there) and forgot my native language at a young age when I learned English. But most of my people born and raised in America their entire life know their mother tongue. Go figure huh? Its funny that I mentioned earlier how I've only been raised around people of my ethnicity yet somehow, I never managed to become like them, to relearn my language, to learn about my culture, traditions, etc. Geez, I am such a freak who defies all logic and sense.


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

''You have quotifications: 9''. Well, I surely don't have the time to read all that and reply to it today, nor do I intend to take this topic for some other day. I have already exposed my position and offered a few explanations, although I have no obligation to do so. You got me right or wrong, you agree or disagree, so be it.

However, as I said in my previous post, I will give a reply to Persephone The Dread. 
@*Persephone The Dread* : I'm positive I am not mixing you up with anyone else. As for bonobos and chimps, they actually can breed. They have done it in captivity. So did different species of humans in the past as some new studies suggest.

I may have not picked my words carefully as I was in a bad mood. Was it a wise decision to post? Maybe not. You could have addressed that. But my post was not meant to be personal as I had nothing against you in general. Your post was meant to be very personal and so were your insults.

The moment you implied my opinion is ''backwards'' and even implied my entire ethnic group might be the same, you did put yourself on a superior position, no matter you were aware of it or not.

Your opinions(no matter what they might be) are in no way better, more ''open minded'', less hateful or unfair, etc. I can assure you that I can take anyone on this site, the person that feels he/she is the best human being with the best opinions, have a long conversation on several topics and I can then expose a bunch of irrational, hateful, unfair opinions and stereotypes(some may support interracial relationships but hate religious people, some may support sexual minorities but hate those that do not support them or hate some ethnic group, support wars, etc, etc, etc.). It's a never ending list

So I can assure you that you and anyone else in here have your own ''hateful'' opinions/positions on plenty of topics. You want to accept it or not. So why don't just accept that we all have different opinions because we have different sets of values and beliefs and one can express them freely without having to give tons of detailed explanations or be hated for it?

Do you really believe there are people with ''correct'' opinions? And people should share your opinions on every topic? I only stated one opinion on a certain topic here. I didn't expect people to embrace my opinion or try to portray it as the one others should take. You did try to impose your opinion on me though. There are no 2 people who think the same on every aspect. Will you completely devaluate and hate everyone that has a different position than you on some topic? Why do you think any successful relationship of any kind is based on compromise and the positives outweighting the negatives?

I don't want to date different types of girls, just as you don't want to date different types of guys. Following the logic you are applying to me, wouldn't that mean you don't want to date them cause you are hateful towards them? Why are your reasons any better than mine or less ridiculous? Trust me, they are not. In any way. I can be good friends with the girls I don't intend to date. Considering how you overreacted and your newest actions, you seem to lack that ability.

I have never called myself awesome( or actually thought I was), unless I was joking. As for my posts, they are too blunt at times and that is pretty much it. Trust me, I know very well exactly what my issues are. I have been through everything countless times with 4 professionals by now. And arrogance is not one of them. I have even been adviced by 2 of them to follow a career in psychiatry ot therapy, once I manage my Social Phobia. If you and my usual haters think you know me better, are more qualified than professionals, or just better individuals than me....Well, that is just ludicrous and delusional. But you can keep on telling yourselves that even 2-3-5 years from now when you will all still be on this site. But success, that sad vlad has left years ago. lol

Is telling me that you have blocked me on my second Skype account(on which we rarely talked anyway and pressumed you are mostly on Invisible from the first day), when you were on the White Knight mode, supposed to have any relevance? That's like telling me: ''I didn't have the balls to tell you that I dislike the people my other friends hate, or put some effort into actually knowing you, so I just blocked you thinking that made me a better person''. Whatever. That just made the image I had of you, as it was, a lot worse. So let's do us both a favour and stop interacting at all for the little time I'm still on this site.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

@sad vlad I don't know what to tell you, I don't remember ever making a thread about interracial relationships before. I've responded in threads about race in general many times in the past though if that's what you mean? Yeah. Lots of ignorant opinions... But more recently I've given up because it's usually just the same few posters repeating themselves.

you seemed to miss where I said afterwards that Bonobos and Chimpanzees sometimes breed but the offspring is sterile? This doesn't happen with humans of different backgrounds.

Once again, you've avoided answering anything actually relevant I asked you. As I said before I don't care if you don't want to 'date different types of girls' I wanted to know what your reasoning was behind not dating someone you're attracted to purely because they'd previously been in an interracial relationship. You must have some negative opinions about interracial relationships to hold that ideal (the rest of your post certainly strongly suggested that was the case.) So I won't address anything else you've said except:

Yeah you're right, I should have deleted you ages ago, we're far too different, my bad. I was kind of weighing it up and I can be indecisive.

Definitely done with this conversation now though.


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

I understand people fear novelization in an interracial relationship because it's racist, but you also can't pre-judge like that. Because that's also racist. It's best to just let people be, as long as they don't view people as less, let people like what they like.

@acidicwithpanic I completely get what you mean. I've only ever known extroverted Asian girls irl, never the "teehee" and hiding their smile behind their hands type of women. Heh. Such a stupid stereotype. But yea, when I'm attracted to an Asian woman, I always think that someone is going to think I have 'yellow fever' or something, like @bad_baby said. It's gross. It's not in the front of my brain with worry, especially if I really like someone, but yea.


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## Staticnz (Mar 25, 2013)

There is so much drama going on on this website that I completely miss apparently...


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Dre12 said:


> Seriously?
> 
> I think that a fair few do it based on a sexual predilection but I find the implication that you can't have anything in common with someone outside of your own race to be absolutely ludicrous.


It isn't ludicrous its common sense.. They are probably going to have a totally different cultural and religious value system that will destroy it within a few years. I've seen it happen many times.


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## Dre12 (Jul 25, 2014)

knightofdespair said:


> It isn't ludicrous its common sense.. They are probably going to have a totally different cultural and religious value system that will destroy it within a few years. I've seen it happen many times.


It is ludicrous to me but maybe that it is a cultural thing.

Mixed race relationships are not uncommon in the UK. My mum has two friends who were/are in mixed race relationships. One was married to an Indian doctor for many years and had five children with him and another has been married to a Caribbean man for at least 30 years and has three children.

Having said that, are you not Amercian? So many folk have there have such mixed racial heritage.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Dre12 said:


> Having said that, are you not Amercian? So many folk have there have such mixed racial heritage.


Generally someone who grew up here will have more of an 'American' culture and have the same views and education and value system. There is also a kind of a mixing of the cultures over a few generations which makes the differences seem less and more compatible. It is pretty rare around here to find someone who is fully a different race here for multiple generations - the more common ones I see moved here from another country and have wildly different views and expectations of women that just plain don't work out very long. I've known several women who married a foreigner and got divorced within about a year.


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## Charmeleon (Aug 5, 2010)

im not gonna sit around and judge someone cos they only like asian or whites dudes, that's dumb. their choice and people should be free to date whomever they like

holy macaroni though, this thread went from zero to a ****show real quick


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## keyboardsmahshfwa (Apr 22, 2014)

knightofdespair said:


> I think a lot of them are just kind of doing it to seem cool or for PC reasons which will evaporate when they find themselves in a relationship with someone they have nothing in common with.


Yup. Because personality is completely hereditary and all white people are the same, all black people are the same, all asian people are the same, etc. There's _no_ way in hell people of different races could have things in common because personalities are 100% written in their genetics, just like skin color is. It's all just a ploy by those darn liberals to push PC-ness!!


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## Xisha (Apr 19, 2015)

Isn't that just like liking a certain gender?


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

knightofdespair said:


> It isn't ludicrous its common sense.. They are probably going to have a totally different cultural and religious value system that will destroy it within a few years. I've seen it happen many times.


Dude you need to get out of SLC more often. Just because they had different cultures doesn't mean a relationship wont last. People with the same background break up fairly quickly too, doesn't mean it's because they share the same background.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

I'm more attached to women with long straight black hair. Both gf I've had are both Asian with long black hair. rawr


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## keyboardsmahshfwa (Apr 22, 2014)

Xisha said:


> Isn't that just like liking a certain gender?


Nope!

Sexual orientation is biological whereas racial preference is social. Sexual orientation is innate. Racial preference is influenced. Much like how height preference or weight preference is influenced.


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## ShinigamiKai (Aug 6, 2015)

1. Nope
2. It's possible. White people do tend to dominate the media. When minorities are represented, it's usually in a negative or stereotypical manner. I rarely see minority characters I can actually relate to. (not that any of this affects my preferences)
3. This is the category I fall in. I'm Italian, Irish, Haitian, Native American & Black and I find Asian guys the most aesthetically attractive.
4. Not inherently but often. There's nothing wrong with finding a certain phenotype attractive. There is a definite problem with writing off races or going after races because of perceived personality types. Race is a social construct humanity dreamed up; people are people. Every race is made up of people with every personality type imaginable. It's true some people don't mind being fetishized but I think most of us want to believe someone likes us for who we are instead of just how we look.
5. Everybody's different. Some people grew up around a different race and came to prefer it. Some people have bad experiences with a race or two and start playing the cross off game. Some people watch too much tv and believe the stereotypes. Some people become interested in another culture or language. The possibilities are endless, really.


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

i'm attracted too all races...
My ideal, physically????????????



5'6, 160lb, bleach blonde hair,white, freakles, dimple piercings, medium sized bosom, extremely thick butt,and thighs,thick calves.....

i'm black btw.


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

a very very white woman built like a black woman shape wise <3 

oh yea, big lips baby....that's why i go crazy when i see white women with the pear shape....i just love it...


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## StaceyLaine14 (Apr 11, 2015)

Not sure anymore. Black female primarily attracted to white men. Conflicted about my feelings about men who refuse to attribute any positive characteristics to black women. 

I used to believe it was all a result of internalized racism. But I'm getting to the point that I'm tired of thinking about appropriation (specifically white women with "black features" being considered more attractive than an average black woman). I'm over it. I'm much happier just accepting that black women tend to have unappealing physical characteristics and that white women win.

I do find black men physically attractive, but I wouldn't reproduce with one. Not because of self hate. I personally don't mind my nappy hair. I don't mind my skin tone. I don't mind my nose. I don't mind that I'm skinny for a black girl. But I feel like most people do. Because I haven't enjoyed my experience as a black woman, I just don't want to put my children through it. I'd much prefer them have the privilege of being light-skinned with more loosely textured hair. Just seems to be one less thing to worry about.


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## Amorphousanomaly (Jun 20, 2012)

No one wants to hear my opinion on this subject. 
<_<
>_>


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## equiiaddict (Jun 27, 2006)

It is what it is - everyone has their personal preferences and it doesn't make them racist nor should they be judged for it. It's just whatever they're attracted to.

Me personally, I'm only really attracted to Caucasian, Latino, Native American and lighter skinned African American men. It has nothing to do with having anything against certain races, it literally just comes down to what I find appealing. (Have to put my little disclaimer in there because people are so quick to want to jump down other peoples' throats, lol.)

My boyfriend is Latino. :b


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## regimes (Aug 24, 2011)

it's a learned behavior and usually based on racist stereotypes.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> 1. Do you feel differently when it's white people that are attracted to another race?
> 2. Do you think that it's because of the media that people who aren't white are sometimes more attracted to white people?
> 3. What about people who aren't white but who are attracted to a race other than their own that's also not white people? (pretty sure I could have found a better way to word that, but hopefully you get the gist)
> 4. Do you think these preferences are inherently negative?
> 5. Why do you think people have said preferences?


Lets ave me a bash at this then.

1. Nope.
2. Partly yes. I would suspect that people will partly 'absorb' the most prominent message of beauty portrayed by their media. So if people of all races are getting western media, then naturally they will end up finding attractive what western media deems attractive. On average. For example, beards used to (for the most part) symbolise Geography teachers and deviants. Now some women _actually_ find them attractive. People didn't all just randomly start finding beards attractive, and the media plays a part. So if western media is being exported around the globe, it follows that what western media finds attractive will also be exported around the globe.
3. Race is just arbitrary division based on visual traits. It makes no difference to me if someone finds one visual trait more attractive than another. We might as well be talking about people who find different types of hair colour more attractive as far as I am concerned.
4. No. 
5. A mixture of stuff. I would suggest there may be a biological component which makes people who look different to themselves more attractive (it represents genetic diversity), so it wouldn't surprise me at all if this has worked its way into peoples preferences on a genetic level. There are also obviously cultural and social reasons as above.


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## Helixa (Feb 1, 2015)

Amorphousanomaly said:


> No one wants to hear my opinion on this subject.
> <_<
> >_>


What is your opinion on this subject or have you forgotten by now?


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Whatever floats your boat.

I don't really pay attention to what other people prefer. Why should I care?


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

I don't see a problem with it because it's a preference. I'm one of those guys who think there are attractive women in every race so I no reason to limit myself.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## theotherone (Sep 1, 2015)

well me i think i am more attracted to ? niceness i always been like this, niceness looks pretty, then _ looks handsome 

it doesn't matter, funny thing i'm not attracted to guys of my race, probably because i grew up American.

so i guess its ALL a matter of how Open Minded you are to anything. it's a interesting topic.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

I was thinking back to a girl I got a long with...this was probably late 2013/early 2014. She was a Mexican girl and at first she seemed into me until she realized I wasn't Mexican and said she doesn't date black guys. I was so hurt and felt so useless. 

I bring that up because I feel like I'm a hypocite. Although I don't have an issue with racial preference when it happens to me I still end up feeling like dirt.


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## Shy Kitten (Sep 3, 2015)

My dad is my best friend so I feel attracted to men who are similar to him and he's European. It sounds weird, but it's why I am a believer in Freudian psychology  And also why I am only attracted to European men.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I don't like my father and I'm not attracted to white men for the most part. At least the light skinned/ brown or blonde haired/ blue eyed ones.


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## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

Don't care...and I think it's stupid how some people feel the need to shame others for their attractions.






So to answer your questions...

*1. Do you feel differently when it's white people that are attracted to another race?*

Don't care. I mean it's controversial for whites to date minorities in foreign countries, but in southern california and other major population hubs there's a lot of mixing going on. Hard to see a white guy and a black chick though.

*2. Do you think that it's because of the media that people who aren't white are sometimes more attracted to white people?*

Absolutely and it has to do with our living conditions also. TV and movies play up the blonde, blue eyed white girl with a nice figure, plump booty, strawberry lip gloss and yoga pants. While minority women are often looked at almost like a joke. White people have the best opportunity when it comes to dating and the studies done by multiple dating sites have shown that minorities will pick white people over their own race.

*3. What about people who aren't white but who are attracted to a race other than their own that's also not white people? (pretty sure I could have found a better way to word that, but hopefully you get the gist)

*You mean like a black guy hooking up with an asian chick? Still don't really care.

*4. Do you think these preferences are inherently negative?

*No, there will always be sections of racial majorities around the world. But as the years go on, the world will be more ambrosia.

*5. Why do you think people have said preferences?

*Combination of media, family/friend pressures, and economic situations.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Jesuszilla said:


> I was thinking back to a girl I got a long with...this was probably late 2013/early 2014. She was a Mexican girl and at first she seemed into me until she realized I wasn't Mexican and said she doesn't date black guys. I was so hurt and felt so useless.
> 
> I bring that up because I feel like I'm a hypocite. Although I don't have an issue with racial preference when it happens to me I still end up feeling like dirt.


You can't help feeling hurt about that, I don't think that makes you a hypocrite either.

Was that online or in real life by the way?


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

Persephone The Dread said:


> You can't help feeling hurt about that, I don't think that makes you a hypocrite either.
> 
> Was that online or in real life by the way?


This one was online


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

*2. Do you think that it's because of the media that people who aren't white are sometimes more attracted to white people?

*I can't remember if I've already posted in this thread or not and I'm too tired to look. But anyway to answer this question: Sometimes yeah. But also it depends on how or where you grow up. I'm an extreme minority where I was raised and live and grew up around mostly white people. I lived around white people, went to school with mostly white people, and had mostly white friends. A lot of this was due to there simply not being very many other of the same minorities around to even try to be friends with etc.

I am attracted to girls of my own or similar ethnicity but my first memories were being attracted to white girls. When I look around, say, the mall I check them out first usually without even thinking about it. I also don't think it is wrong if others have certain preferences when it comes to race. I have preferences as well but I do find girls from many different races/ethnicities to be attractive.


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