# Why are you hating your time in college?



## Innerwolf (Jul 23, 2016)

I'm graduating in a year and have been reflecting on these last 3-4 years. I didn't do college the conventional way. I started at community college because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do in high school, my grades were mediocre, and didn't put too much thought into getting away from home. I chose to major in accounting out of encouragement from my family but by 2nd semester I started to hate it and stupidly stuck with it when I transferred to a 4 year college. I changed it to Business so I can take more practical courses and graduate needing fewer credits.

I've always commuted from home and feel like I've missed out on the traditional college experience. Even though I thought it seemed overrated at first, I guess I'll never really know what I missed out on, and people at school who are away from home sometimes look down on the idea of commuting. I didn't make the strides towards ending my shyness that I wanted to. I've made a few friends but probably missed out on a larger, diverse social circle and other opportunities. I haven't had much luck with girls and probably won't have as big a pool to meet them once I graduate next spring. I wish I had developed better relationships with my professors and didn't let down the ones that saw potential in me.

So to sum it all up, I'm in a major I hate with a bad GPA. Didn't have the sort of fun I idealized I would have. Haven't made the strides in my personal development or career path I was hoping to make by now. I want to switch my major to health sciences but circumstances won't permit me to make such a big change right now.

Does anyone else wish their college years went differently?


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## Topia (Apr 7, 2016)

I don't know how to make friends!


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## nameless3903787489796 (Sep 6, 2013)

lexiee said:


> I don't know how to make friends!


This.


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## CalvinCandie (Aug 1, 2016)

I'm currently in community college right now. Instead of taking full time classes, I went part-time without a job. Now I have to take 6 classes this semester just to graduate a semester late.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RueTheKnight (Mar 12, 2015)

Pretty much same as you OP, I didnt spend much time on campus, typically having to drive home in a hurry to get mom from work. Because it got too tiring to drive an hour to and from college along with picking up my mom and little brother, I just made all of my classes online. So there was basically no college experience to be had outside of what I was learning lol. The only thing I really envy is the missed opportunity to grow outside of your home environment :/


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## Sonic Death Monkey (Aug 11, 2016)

Well besides no friends, I'm really hating that I have to take Public Speaking this coming semester (classes start next week).

I also really hated a Western Civilization class I had to take. I love more ancient history that goes up until America's Colonization, but the teacher of the class was a total jerk. He refused to help or even talk to students. One time on an extra credit museum trip he was just openly mocking a student a made fun of them to the museum's guides. A few weeks into the semester he blocked every studen't from emailing him so there was no way to contact him if we had questions or needed help. A lot of people dropped his class or failed. I managed to scrape by with a C while getting all A's in other classes. I made sure to avoid him for my 2nd history class by just taking U.S. History with another teacher. I passed her class with a 97% lol.


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

I just started, and almost everyone seem to be ignorant, alcoholic *******s. Not looking forwards to our group assignments :-/.
The guy that sits behind me was watching YouTube throughout all of today's sessions.. Ugh. Why even attend if he's not going to pay attention. It's not like we _have_ to be there. (It's really not, we are "responsible for ourselves" and won't fail just for not showing up)


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## yellowpages (May 16, 2012)

No friends, that's why. I'm also a commuter, which obviously doesn't help, but I feel too old to be living on campus with a bunch of noisy teenagers. I'm pretty much a total loner at this point.

Unfortunately for me, I still have 2 years left until I graduate. To be honest, I'm amazed I've even made it this far, what with all the presentation & group assignments they throw at us. As far as I'm concerned, the sooner this course is over with, the better (no intention of dropping out--I need this degree for the job I want).

I've had enough of the university environment and I want out ASAP.


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## AllTheSame (Mar 19, 2016)

I went to a suitcase university, meaning the whole university was pretty deserted on the weekends, everyone went home. It was pretty big, with 20,000+ enrollment. My first two years there I was a shut-in. I barely left my dorm outside of going to class and work. I had zero friends and didn't talk much, I was absolutely miserable. My last two years were the total, complete opposite. I moved into a dorm with a reputation as a "party dorm" and started talking to the guys that were roomed next to me, and I just was somehow able to push myself enough to make some friends. It was really, really difficult for me to do that. But I got into a circle of friends there, we went to a few frat parties (but mostly thought they were over-rated, and just had too many drunks). Our dorm had women on the first floor, guys on the 2nd, alternating all the way up, so there was a lot of opportunity to meet girls, and I did meet some. Because it was a suitcase university Thursday nights were huge party nights, there was a club we went to across the street every, single Thursday night we were there I think. And sometimes Mondays and Tuesdays. I had my first ons there lol. I have some pretty awesome stories, and memories from that time but it never would have happened if I hadn't really, really pushed myself to get out there. I kept up with a few of the people I met there for a few years (one of my best friends met his fiancé there, and so did I), but we got too busy with jobs and kids and kind of drifted apart.

If I was going to give anyone advice I'd say just try to push yourself and meet people but also keep in mind some are not very serious about getting a degree. There are women that major in husbands. There are people there that have never been given freedom like that before and they can't handle it. Every night is just an excuse to party and get messed up.


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## Innerwolf (Jul 23, 2016)

*Hi lexiee*



lexiee said:


> I don't know how to make friends!


What year are you in? And why's making friends hard for you?


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## Innerwolf (Jul 23, 2016)

CalvinCandie said:


> I'm currently in community college right now. Instead of taking full time classes, I went part-time without a job. Now I have to take 6 classes this semester just to graduate a semester late.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That many classes can be overwhelming! Good luck to ya :high5


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## Innerwolf (Jul 23, 2016)

*Hi RueTheKnight*



RueTheKnight said:


> Pretty much same as you OP, I didnt spend much time on campus, typically having to drive home in a hurry to get mom from work. Because it got too tiring to drive an hour to and from college along with picking up my mom and little brother, I just made all of my classes online. So there was basically no college experience to be had outside of what I was learning lol. The only thing I really envy is the missed opportunity to grow outside of your home environment :/


That must have been a lot of work, I'm sorry :fall . We may never know what difference it would have made had we been away from home during that point in our lives :stu As I got older and became independent I began to loathe being home during the semester.


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## Innerwolf (Jul 23, 2016)

*Hi Sonic Death Monkey*



Sonic Death Monkey said:


> Well besides no friends, I'm really hating that I have to take Public Speaking this coming semester (classes start next week).
> 
> I also really hated a Western Civilization class I had to take. I love more ancient history that goes up until America's Colonization, but the teacher of the class was a total jerk. He refused to help or even talk to students. One time on an extra credit museum trip he was just openly mocking a student a made fun of them to the museum's guides. A few weeks into the semester he blocked every studen't from emailing him so there was no way to contact him if we had questions or needed help. A lot of people dropped his class or failed. I managed to scrape by with a C while getting all A's in other classes. I made sure to avoid him for my 2nd history class by just taking U.S. History with another teacher. I passed her class with a 97% lol.


Wow what a jerk of a professor :bash. My Ethics and Values professor was effing terrible. She was super ignorant and would say such close-minded, racist, just absurd things and mocked students herself, not even realizing what she said sounded so rude. And despite how nervous I get speaking in front of class I would like to take a public speaking course (probably would regret it when I get my first project though haha). Ever went on ratemyprofessors.com?


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## Innerwolf (Jul 23, 2016)

*Hi Skeletra*



Skeletra said:


> I just started, and almost everyone seem to be ignorant, alcoholic *******s. Not looking forwards to our group assignments :-/.
> The guy that sits behind me was watching YouTube throughout all of today's sessions.. Ugh. Why even attend if he's not going to pay attention. It's not like we _have_ to be there. (It's really not, we are "responsible for ourselves" and won't fail just for not showing up)


Yeah I would see people on their laptops playing fantasy sports, watching highlights, reading stuff and what not during class. Interesting fact, I saw a lot of people from my graduating class in high school come to my community college after their first year at 4 year school because they blew it their first time around or just weren't prepared for college and being away from home.


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## Innerwolf (Jul 23, 2016)

*Hi yellowpages*



yellowpages said:


> No friends, that's why. I'm also a commuter, which obviously doesn't help, but I feel too old to be living on campus with a bunch of noisy teenagers. I'm pretty much a total loner at this point.
> 
> Unfortunately for me, I still have 2 years left until I graduate. To be honest, I'm amazed I've even made it this far, what with all the presentation & group assignments they throw at us. As far as I'm concerned, the sooner this course is over with, the better (no intention of dropping out--I need this degree for the job I want).
> 
> I've had enough of the university environment and I want out ASAP.


What kind of job do you want after you graduate? And I had a classmate that transferred to my school who was 21 and felt too old herself. Mainly because her residence hall was mostly people not old enough to even buy drinks lol or go out. I guess if you don't go your freshman year it kind of loses its initial charm. I've made a few new friends but have been a loner while at school and eventually fell off with most of them.


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## Innerwolf (Jul 23, 2016)

*Hi AlltheSame*



AllTheSame said:


> I went to a suitcase university, meaning the whole university was pretty deserted on the weekends, everyone went home. It was pretty big, with 20,000+ enrollment. My first two years there I was a shut-in. I barely left my dorm outside of going to class and work. I had zero friends and didn't talk much, I was absolutely miserable. My last two years were the total, complete opposite. I moved into a dorm with a reputation as a "party dorm" and started talking to the guys that were roomed next to me, and I just was somehow able to push myself enough to make some friends. It was really, really difficult for me to do that. But I got into a circle of friends there, we went to a few frat parties (but mostly thought they were over-rated, and just had too many drunks). Our dorm had women on the first floor, guys on the 2nd, alternating all the way up, so there was a lot of opportunity to meet girls, and I did meet some. Because it was a suitcase university Thursday nights were huge party nights, there was a club we went to across the street every, single Thursday night we were there I think. And sometimes Mondays and Tuesdays. I had my first ons there lol. I have some pretty awesome stories, and memories from that time but it never would have happened if I hadn't really, really pushed myself to get out there. I kept up with a few of the people I met there for a few years (one of my best friends met his fiancé there, and so did I), but we got too busy with jobs and kids and kind of drifted apart.
> 
> If I was going to give anyone advice I'd say just try to push yourself and meet people but also keep in mind some are not very serious about getting a degree. There are women that major in husbands. There are people there that have never been given freedom like that before and they can't handle it. Every night is just an excuse to party and get messed up.


That's awesome man! Getting my degree, having fun, coming out of my shell, meeting an SO, sounds like the ideal way I would have wanted my time in school to be like. I tend to make friends pretty easily but I fall off with them after sometime, so my circle at school is very small, most are commuters who have lives outside of school, so I find myself falling into my loner ways often. There aren't many clubs, or ones that are in line with my interests but I'm still looking for extracurriculars.


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## yellowpages (May 16, 2012)

Innerwolf said:


> What kind of job do you want after you graduate? And I had a classmate that transferred to my school who was 21 and felt too old herself. Mainly because her residence hall was mostly people not old enough to even buy drinks lol or go out. I guess if you don't go your freshman year it kind of loses its initial charm. I've made a few new friends but have been a loner while at school and eventually fell off with most of them.


Primary/elementary school teacher. I know most SA people shudder at the thought of teaching, but I'm pretty good with kids so for me it's a good fit.

18 is the drinking age here (UK). 21 seems pretty high. Not that it would make a difference in my case--I never went to parties when I was 18-21. I'm a loner too. IT SUCKS.


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## AllTheSame (Mar 19, 2016)

Innerwolf said:


> That's awesome man! Getting my degree, having fun, coming out of my shell, meeting an SO, sounds like the ideal way I would have wanted my time in school to be like. I tend to make friends pretty easily but I fall off with them after sometime, so my circle at school is very small, most are commuters who have lives outside of school, so I find myself falling into my loner ways often. There aren't many clubs, or ones that are in line with my interests but I'm still looking for extracurriculars.


If you make friends easily then that's half the battle imo, so good for you, man, seriously. I'm kind of the same way. And there's nothing wrong with a small circle of friends, they're even better in some ways I think. My group I hung out with in university started out with just six of us but grew, and kept growing over time until there were about 20 of us, all going out to eat sometimes or to the club together. I remember a few times were all crammed into two adjoining dorm rooms, mine and my dorm buddies, and there were so many of us it spilled out onto the balcony and the RAs busted us. That was just ridiculous lol.

~sent from my GalaxyS4


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## NoEgo (Jul 5, 2016)

Besides the fact that I can't find any friends, it's because I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing or where I'm going. I'm just going with the flow, which is bad in this case. I think many people do that, but just don't give a s*it. They have as much fun as they can in college, and once they graduate they realize how much they *****ed-up. Better than nothing, I suppose. I'll be in the same situation, without any of the fun.


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## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

They're not worried about me,and I'm not worried about them.They chose to be judgmental and dismissive no matter how much I attempted to go to events,college club meetings,converse to them etc.So at the end,I thought *f&ck them.*I finalized my part by moving 17 hours away from my college town after graduating.


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## Innerwolf (Jul 23, 2016)

NoEgo said:


> Besides the fact that I can't find any friends, it's because I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing or where I'm going. I'm just going with the flow, which is bad in this case. I think many people do that, but just don't give a s*it. They have as much fun as they can in college, and once they graduate they realize how much they *****ed-up. Better than nothing, I suppose. I'll be in the same situation, without any of the fun.


I feel you on that. All this time I've just been getting by in with most courses. Not doing yourself any favors if you stick with a major you hate. But some don't find out what they want to do until much later. But some fun times would have been nice to look back on at least.


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## Tomcat123 (Sep 30, 2015)

I graduated a couple of monthes ago and hated it. It was so depressing being there, seeing people with friends, their cliques, I ****ing hated that. That whole college experience thing people talked about, Never happened to me. I commuted, worked, Bull**** at home, that's it. I hope if it comes up in the future no one asks me what I did, otherwise I'll have to lie or say I was a friendless loser who was at a miserable place who did not want to be there with people could give a **** if he was alive or not.


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## tirru (Aug 21, 2016)

Actually decided to make an account simply because of my horrible experience with college so far.

Orientation started today & lasts until Tues. and I could not be more unhappy. I'm a commuter student & I had an anxiety attack in my car for almost 20 minutes before I managed to will myself to check in. The commuters weren't bad, someone approached me and started talking and I was fine for the most part but after being split into orientation groups... I really don't like any of the people I've met so far. They're all really rude and/or ignorant about a lot of things and I don't see the point in trying to talk to them.

It seems like everyone's already making friends and I have no one lol. I left the day early today because I was tired of trying to act like I was alright with the situation when I wasn't. I'm already planning on leaving early tomorrow, too. And the next day. And the next day.

tl;dr I can't connect with people and I'm already planning on spending as little time on campus as I possibly can.


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## flyingMint (Aug 31, 2015)

I'm about to enter my second year. I still don't really know what I'm doing. I haven't made a single friend though I'm going to try a little more this year. My grades aren't bad, I made the deans list last semester, I just haven't really had the time or the motivation to do the whole socializing thing. I know I need to tho, before it's too late. Just don't know how. That's really the only reason I'm not enjoying it as much. I don't really have the need to be on my own nor do I have a need to go out and party all the time. Just not my style.


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## PyroKittens (Aug 18, 2016)

I go to San Francisco for college, and it takes an hour of a commute everyday. The commute never bothered me much considering podcasts, an Ipad, and headphones keeps people away. But when anyone from my classes recognize me at lunch and try to stay and chat I get horrible anxiety. Lunchtime is my relaxing time, but I have gotten such anxiety just from not being able to find a seat since the group of 10 took three tables and 12 chairs. Other than social anxiety is anxiety about classes and where everything is going to come to a head. College just stresses me out so much because of the pressure and people associated with it.


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## Nitrogen (Dec 24, 2012)

because I wasted money time and effort toward a degree for the sake of impressing other people and being completely lost as to what I even want to do


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## Virgo (Jun 27, 2016)

The true college experience, where you go far away and dorm for four years, is all a big scam unless you're a rich kid who isn't paying for it. So you may feel like you're missing out but it's so much better for you in the long run. I am also doing two years at community college and then transferring; same situation, mediocre high school grades, not knowing what I wanted to do, not really being able to afford college as it is. I just started college late. Anyway, I also work while I'm in school. And I've worked in a really rich area far away from where I live, with a bunch of highschoolers. They were all going straight to four year school and they were super serious about high school -- all in AP classes, sports, all going to dorm, and getting their college paid for by parents. And their high school IS impressive. Quite honestly I was jealous, because I also want to go far away and dorm. And rather than having helicopter parents who pushed them all to do well in school, I have parents who, no offense, didn't give a crap what I did in high school (I love my parents don't get me wrong!!). I'm also jealous of my close internet friend who is able to do the same thing as them.

But it's just not realistic for me to still go away. My dad works at our state university and if I get in, I can get free school. I would still be communting to school if that's the case. Of course I'd love to go away and dorm, I could take out loans and do it just like everyone else! But why would I if I get into a school for free? Or if going to an in-state public school is significantly cheaper as it is? My main point is don't feel bad about not having a traditional college experience. I know it sucks because I'm feeling the jealousy too, but I know for certain that we're going to be better off in the long run paying off less loans. I'm not trying to sound spiteful against rich people or pitiful about my situation, I'm just being honest. I have absolutely nothing against these kids or my life situation. But I do feel your pain in that "missing out" feeling.


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## Innerwolf (Jul 23, 2016)

Tomcat123 said:


> I graduated a couple of monthes ago and hated it. It was so depressing being there, seeing people with friends, their cliques, I ****ing hated that. That whole college experience thing people talked about, Never happened to me. I commuted, worked, Bull**** at home, that's it. I hope if it comes up in the future no one asks me what I did, otherwise I'll have to lie or say I was a friendless loser who was at a miserable place who did not want to be there with people could give a **** if he was alive or not.


I'll be graduating before most of my friends do and my other friends already did in the Spring. I'm thinking I'll just skip my graduation all together and just have my diploma mailed to me like I did in community college. I have no family nearby to come celebrate and I don't even want them to make the long trip here to throw a party I feel like I don't deserve. They're not going to be impressed when I tell them about my below 3.5 GPA and no lofty job lined up. Haven't even told my pops about my change in career interests. He's still telling everyone I'm going to be a CPA or work on Wall Street and discover a get rich quick investment scheme or something. :doh :no

Is post-college life treating ya any better?


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## Innerwolf (Jul 23, 2016)

*Hi tirru*



tirru said:


> Actually decided to make an account simply because of my horrible experience with college so far.
> 
> Orientation started today & lasts until Tues. and I could not be more unhappy. I'm a commuter student & I had an anxiety attack in my car for almost 20 minutes before I managed to will myself to check in. The commuters weren't bad, someone approached me and started talking and I was fine for the most part but after being split into orientation groups... I really don't like any of the people I've met so far. They're all really rude and/or ignorant about a lot of things and I don't see the point in trying to talk to them.
> 
> ...


Bad luck of the draw there. Does your school have a lot of clubs and other extracurriculars? Maybe you can join one or a few that's in line with your interests and meet some chill people. Don't leave the remaining orientations so soon! Maybe you'll actually meet someone cool in the same major as you, boom you found a potential study buddy.


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## Innerwolf (Jul 23, 2016)

*Hi flyingMint*



flyingMint said:


> I'm about to enter my second year. I still don't really know what I'm doing. I haven't made a single friend though I'm going to try a little more this year. My grades aren't bad, I made the deans list last semester, I just haven't really had the time or the motivation to do the whole socializing thing. I know I need to tho, before it's too late. Just don't know how. That's really the only reason I'm not enjoying it as much. I don't really have the need to be on my own nor do I have a need to go out and party all the time. Just not my style.


Any clubs on campus you might be interested in? If you're not socializing with students much, at least try to with your professors and advisers. They can be some of the wisest, coolest people you meet at school I came to realize. Heck, they might even be able help guide you towards finding what you want to do.


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## Tomcat123 (Sep 30, 2015)

Innerwolf said:


> I'll be graduating before most of my friends do and my other friends already did in the Spring. I'm thinking I'll just skip my graduation all together and just have my diploma mailed to me like I did in community college. I have no family nearby to come celebrate and I don't even want them to make the long trip here to throw a party I feel like I don't deserve. They're not going to be impressed when I tell them about my below 3.5 GPA and no lofty job lined up. Haven't even told my pops about my change in career interests. He's still telling everyone I'm going to be a CPA or work on Wall Street and discover a get rich quick investment scheme or something. :doh :no
> 
> Is post-college life treating ya any better?


Actually I can relate to a lot of what you said. Right now I am working in finance. I switched majors, did not attend my graduation, and did not have a job lined up either (only god could tell you how many interviews I went on lol) but I worked on it and eventually got a job. Its boring, but its okay, the people are nice and I am usually left by myself.

I would say life after college is better, less free time, but I like the routine and I am happier not being in that enviroment, a faceless loner in a sea of friends.

And I am sorry to hear about all the pressure your experiencing, if you want to vent feel free to PM me.


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## Innerwolf (Jul 23, 2016)

*Hi Atheism*



Atheism said:


> The true college experience, where you go far away and dorm for four years, is all a big scam unless you're a rich kid who isn't paying for it. So you may feel like you're missing out but it's so much better for you in the long run. I am also doing two years at community college and then transferring; same situation, mediocre high school grades, not knowing what I wanted to do, not really being able to afford college as it is. I just started college late. Anyway, I also work while I'm in school. And I've worked in a really rich area far away from where I live, with a bunch of highschoolers. They were all going straight to four year school and they were super serious about high school -- all in AP classes, sports, all going to dorm, and getting their college paid for by parents. And their high school IS impressive. Quite honestly I was jealous, because I also want to go far away and dorm. And rather than having helicopter parents who pushed them all to do well in school, I have parents who, no offense, didn't give a crap what I did in high school (I love my parents don't get me wrong!!). I'm also jealous of my close internet friend who is able to do the same thing as them.
> 
> But it's just not realistic for me to still go away. My dad works at our state university and if I get in, I can get free school. I would still be communting to school if that's the case. Of course I'd love to go away and dorm, I could take out loans and do it just like everyone else! But why would I if I get into a school for free? Or if going to an in-state public school is significantly cheaper as it is? My main point is don't feel bad about not having a traditional college experience. I know it sucks because I'm feeling the jealousy too, but I know for certain that we're going to be better off in the long run paying off less loans. I'm not trying to sound spiteful against rich people or pitiful about my situation, I'm just being honest. I have absolutely nothing against these kids or my life situation. But I do feel your pain in that "missing out" feeling.


College is absurdly expensive! But even people who aren't from rich homes go away regardless. Doesn't mean we have to do the same though. As you said, it's definitely better in the long run financially. 
Had I chosen a major I was interested in, I probably wouldn't even stress about missing out on the "traditional" college experience. I'd be too excited and enthusiastic about life after college. But as things stand, can't find much to feel excited about.
Hope you find your passion! Whether it be in school or after.


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