# how do u make life long friends?



## WhyMe888 (Aug 22, 2005)

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## Syanis (Aug 20, 2005)

live a short life? besides that I have no clue =/


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## ABetterTomorrow (May 17, 2005)

I am terrible at making friends too. I definatly have not made any life long friends. But I have many aquaintances. Even several that I call on the phone to go out. 

Since you seem to have studying down, why not ask some of your classmates to have a study session with you before the next test. Theres no pressure to be social and entertaining in this situation so if you dont hit it off then no big deal. I have made several friends doing this. 

Obviously joining a club or some type of organized group is another great way to make friends. If you like sports then intramurals would be a great idea. 

Im sure your roommate does more then just go out and drink. How bout inviting her to go some where that you both would be interested in.


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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

Having a lifelong frienship, I think, is rare and a special thing. Those who do have them should count themselves lucky. 

As for making them... I guess trying to find people you can connect with will help. Ofcourse that means getting out of your dorm room and making the effort to meet people, no matter how hard it may seem at first. You can start out with something small. Like trying to study someplace other than your room, like in the library, outside or something. Then take bigger steps from there.

Your roomate doesn't seem very nice from what you've said. I'd personally take offense considering what she's done...but that's just me. 

Anyway, good luck. I know college life can get pretty hard, especially if you suffer from social anxiety.


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## sunshineclippy (Jul 19, 2005)

*Rude Roomie*

Firstly, let me extend my deepest sympathy at your roomate's crappy behavior. She has no right to gossip about you or speculate about your social situation. No right at all. Now you know that she is _insecure _and may not have any so-called friends herself.

Secondly, ignore her and live your life. Get out of your room! Go to the library, join a club your have a remote interest in, do something.

Thirdly, the trick to having a good conversation is asking the other person about their interests. People love to talk about themselves.

Good luck and don't give up!


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## WhyMe888 (Aug 22, 2005)

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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

That's great news. Glad to hear it. Good luck in the rest of the school year.


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## crystallizedtear (Feb 9, 2005)

my lifelong friendships are mostly made in my middle school and junior high years...
mostly when I leave the school and still keep in contact...and we start to know each other better than when we're in school seeing each other every day...


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## nerdie (Oct 16, 2005)

Well, I have been in college for 3 years already, but have not made a life long friend. In college, most of the people knew each since high school, so if all of a sudden you want to be their friend, they will most likely not accept you. 

But since your roommate is a social person, I think you should just try to get to know her more, even if it means that you have to party with them. 

And you should be happy that she feels bad for you, since some people may just ignore you and label you as a weirdo. That's what happen to me. I wish I can be in your situation, and make just a few friends, so that I don't have to be as lonely.

So, next time when she invite you to party, don't reject the offer. Maybe at the party you will find a person that share the same interest as you, and eventually become a life long friend.


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## sparkations (Nov 26, 2003)

Lifelong friends are hard to make at this point. Most people in college already have best friends from highschool, who they are completely honest with, and share their personal feelings to, and they probably don't want more close friends. 

Also developing a lifelong friendship is not something that's forced either, it just happens, and when you actually manage to stay in touch and keep a friend for years, it's a really good thing. You feel lucky to have had that friend who you could lean on during rough times and what not. 

May I suggest looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend if you are looking for someone to confide in? Relationships can be fulfilling, and you do get to open yourself up to someone. It may also give you a chance to meet new people through your bf/gf.


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

I met my best friend when I was 13 (I am now 45). Finding a lifelong friend is just something that happens. It's not something that that you can set out to achieve. It ends up being almost a marriage. You have good times and bad times together but through out it all you remain friends. You learn to follow their train of thought even if it's veering all over the place. You grow to be comfortable with them. You can tell them anything and they won't bat an eye. You know which cabinet in the kitchen they keep the glasses in and which glasses you should not use. You know how they load their dishwasher and can do it to their satisfaction. You can sit and talk for hours or just sit and read a magazine in silence. 

It's a friendship that grows and matures over the years not something that can be searched out and put into place.


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## crystallizedtear (Feb 9, 2005)

The main thing is to keep in contact if you feel that you really have that connection. I lost so many friends from loss of contact...I have to somewhat blame my SA for that...


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## anonymous200419 (Mar 30, 2005)

my suggestion is to join certain groups at your college with whom you share interests with. You should try going out with your roomate and her friends, you might find that some of them don't really like drinking and partying all the time but are only going out for the sake of making friends.


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## numbsmiles (Jan 2, 2005)

Well I find it difficult to make friends in college. Semesters are short, student population is big, it's hard to keep seeing the same person often.


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## Dove (Mar 14, 2005)

Syanis said:


> live a short life? besides that I have no clue =/


Heh, that's cute.

Anyway, well, at least you don't resort to going with them and do things that are out of your character. Like I've said here before (quoting someone's senior quote), "It's better to be alone than in bad company." At least, in my opinion, it is.

Well, to answer your question, I don't know about life-long friends but to make something that's more than an acquaintance, I think it just requires more talking and time. That's been my experience with my few friends. First, there's the typical, awkward greetings. Then we start talking about school (what classes do you have, what grades are you getting, etc.) As time passes by, we become more comfortable with each other and start to talk about random events in our life or more of our personal feelings. Maybe start off with stuff about how you're feeling physically (I'm so tired/sleep, I have a headache). And so on. The more you talk to each other, the more comfortable you'll probably get. Soon, when you've become really comfortable, you can set up a casual get-together. Ask them if they want to eat lunch with you. After that, you might hang out more. And more. And if you don't end up disliking each other, then you'll hang out all the time. And there you go, you have yourself a buddy. 

I hope that kind of helped. I personally have kind of given up on making friends and don't really care to make more. If I do, then that's great but I don't hope for more. Sometimes, having more friends can cause more unnecessary drama and stress. It can also be time-consuming because you need to constantly talk or meet every once in a while so that the friendship won't drift.

Well, I'm happy for you that you at least spend your time studying instead of something useless.  I, on the other hand, spend all my time online which disappoints my parents because they see my mind going to waste.


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