# What safety behaviors are you using?



## goosebump (Jan 12, 2014)

*The reason exposure is not working for you*

If you're doing exposure and find that it's not improving your anxiety much, it's very likely that you're engaging in _safety behaviors _while attempting to enter the anxiety-provoking situation .



> People with anxiety often perform "safety behaviors" during anxiety provoking situations. These safety behaviors make the person feel more comfortable in the situation by providing temporary relief from anxiety. However, safety behaviors have been described as the major cause of persisting anxiety and the reason why people don't feel relief during exposures (Wells, Clark, Salkovskis, Ludgate, Hackmann, & Gelder, 1995).
> 
> An example of a safety behavior in social anxiety is talking fast during a meeting. The person may feel temporarily better by speaking quickly and getting out of the situation. *However, this behavior is basically telling the person's body that this situation is dangerous and he or she has to do something to remain safe. That is, whenever a person performs a safety behavior, he or she is reinforcing the idea that the situation is very dangerous*


http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/face-your-fear/201303/safety-behaviors-in-social-anxiety


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## goosebump (Jan 12, 2014)

Beside situation avoidance, the ones I probably use most frequently are asking people many questions, avoiding talking about myself, and pretending I did not see someone.


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## Michael127 (Dec 10, 2011)

I use biting humour to keep some people at a distance. If I am feeling really anxious, then I will avoid eye contact.


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## goosebump (Jan 12, 2014)

Here are more lists of safety behaviors

http://www.sawest.org/downloads/safe..._questions.pdf
http://www.goodmedicine.org.uk/files...ent safe.pdf


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

I am not sure, but I like to pace and fidget with things around me.


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## nster (Oct 19, 2011)

Weirdly, since so many people asked me, I talk a lot and about myself and don't really let them interject except to ask me something about what I am talking about. But if it isn't the first time I met then I'll talk about my side of the differences (ie: oh how is montreal this winter, I'll go on and on about our winter and branch off on how I got sick for 3 weeks maybe by mentioning I got really sick, wait for them to ask about it then then go on and on about it etc etc). Sometimes I'll talk about my family too.

I really never know what to ask in return and basically suck at keeping the conversation rolling. Worst part is I really really rather listen to others, so when I meet someone who rambles on and basically gives me hints on what I can ask them next or gives me the opportunity to put in my opinion and stuff already I'm much more at ease, bonus points if they keep leading the conversation OR if they need advice.

Also, being a pretty boring person overall (nothing interesting really happens in my life) it's weird to be talking a lot about myself, first my only interesting parts then basically boring stuff. I've been doing this since I was 6. It helped integrate myself when I moved around but now it's just annoying to all parties involved lol

See I'm doing it even in this forum, oops


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## polkaspot (Oct 30, 2012)

Below I just copied and pasted what I saw in myself. Probably the biggest are sitting near the back or edge, looking busy, situational avoidance, rehearsing, and sticking to 'safe' topics.


Crossing the road to avoiding meeting someone you know
Avoiding answering the door or phone 
Avoiding eye contact 
Sticking to 'safe' topics during conversations 
Giving minimal answers and say as little as possible 
Speaking quietly 
Sitting on at the back or on the edge of a group
Being overly polite to people 
Always agreeing with everyone 
Saying what you think people want to hear all the time 
Rehearsing what you'll say over and over in your head 
Doing what everyone asks of you even if you don't want to
Making excuses for anxious behaviour 
Leaving places early 
Talking excessively to fill silences 
Giving short vague answers to questions
Making yourself look busy to avoid speaking to people
Staying close to people you know 
Avoiding anything that might initiate conflict 
Meeting social needs almost exclusively through the internet


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## DFE (Dec 19, 2014)

*thats me!*

OMG... that list... that's me you're talking about


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## DFE (Dec 19, 2014)

*And I'd add this one to that list...*

Making excuses for not going to social situations so I can avoid going to them...


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## CWe (Mar 7, 2010)

polkaspot said:


> Below I just copied and pasted what I saw in myself. Probably the biggest are sitting near the back or edge, looking busy, situational avoidance, rehearsing, and sticking to 'safe' topics.
> 
> 
> Crossing the road to avoiding meeting someone you know
> ...


Most of these on this list :|


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