# What are the chances....



## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

what are the chances An older man (between maybe 36-45) would say "yes" to a girl, lets say, 20 years old, that asks him out?, (if that makes sense.) lets say hes single. i know all guys are different but just, in general. Im tired of being too scared to ask anyone out. if theres a better chance that he will say yes...ill be less intimidated. just want general opinions, thanks.


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## bobthebuilder (Jun 17, 2009)

uh very good? some older guys could weigh in, but i think thats like....something guys in that age range would dream of. I wouldnt doubt some married guys would say yes too >.>


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

bobthebuilder said:


> uh very good? some older guys could weigh in, but i think thats like....something guys in that age range would dream of. I wouldnt doubt some married guys would say yes too >.>


Really? I thought it might be embarassing for them thats how ive always seen it, haha i will make sure the guy is single ...im not a homewrecker


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## anonymid (Oct 16, 2005)

I don't know, I would feel a bit weird about it, to be honest, and I'm 30. In another 10-15 years I would feel even weirder, I'm sure. But that's just me; obviously not every guy is the same, so it's probably worth a shot. You just never know until you ask.


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## lonelyjew (Jan 20, 2010)

You're seriously asking lol? A lot of guys. I'd be careful though, a lot of them will just be looking at you from a physical standpoint. I'm curious why you want an older man though. My buddies sister is like that as well but she has issues with her father which explain her "need" of an older man. Unfortunately an older man isn't fixing her issues.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

I'd feel like I died and went to heaven if some hot younger girl asked me out!


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## 2Talkative (Nov 1, 2007)

Futures said:


> I'd feel like I died and went to heaven if some hot younger girl asked me out!


I'd die if anyone at all asked me out....


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

Well to be completely honest, I don't think you should go for guys that much older than you. You should find someone within your age range or someone in their 20's. 30s and 40s is too old for you.


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## Dipper (Jul 15, 2007)

It depends on the guy and how he feels about younger girls so it's impossible to answer. A lot of people will say yeah it's an old guys dream but it's not that simple. A lot would be like hell no and a lot would be like hell yeah. Doesn't hurt to try and if you get rejected then that's just the way it goes. Wow that felt weird saying to a girl.


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## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

IF he's married, probably 50%
Not married, 75%

So about a 63% chance that any older guy will say yes, assuming that half the older guys out there are married.

Why don't you take to the street with a pad and paper and poll a bunch of older guys and see if my numbers are close. It would be a good ice breaker anyways


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

Yeah, a 20 year old girl asking a single older guy out is like having all his sexual fantasies coming true. Of course, you probably shouldn't expect all that much from the relationship. If it were me, I'd probably want something short term, since it's not likely that I would find a 20 year old girl all that mature.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Go for it!


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

Its impossible to say as it depends on the fella.

Personally I wouldnt think it would be the best of ideas


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## markx (Dec 22, 2007)

First of all I'd look around to see if I could spot the hidden cameras and the paedo police hiding in the bushes... :um

It would all depend on the girl and the circumstances. I'd be more likely to say yes if she seemed quite mature and if I wasn't aware of her age. I'm not very good at judging the age of young women so if she considered that it was appropriate to ask me out then I'd assume that it was appropriate for me to say yes.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

Watch what age you call older! Just joking. If you're talking about a guy _older than you_ who is more secure financially and good looking, he might consider you a gold digger trying to get a good setup for yourself so you don't have to work. If you just approach some random guy and act flirtatious, he'll probably take you up on the offer but likely he'll be looking at you as more of a one-night stand/short fling.

I personally, at 33 and never having dated, would like to date a woman in her late 20s or early 30s. Younger women aren't mature enough and it'd feel creepy on my part. However, if a woman in her early 20s was interested in me (yeah, right), of course I wouldn't turn her down but it would be more about trying to find out what I missed out on when I was that age.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

tlgibson97 said:


> IF he's married, probably 50%


wth? not every married man is looking for extra on the side. that makes men look bad.

if i was 40 and some 20 year old asked me out I'd probably say no.


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## AlwaysOnTheOutside (Jan 11, 2010)

Just wait until you are 21 and you can just go to a bar and get all the male attention you'll ever want. Then you just have to go to an older guy's bar which isn't that hard to find honestly.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

AlwaysOnTheOutside said:


> Just wait until you are 21 and you can just go to a bar and get all the male attention you'll ever want. Then you just have to go to an older guy's bar which isn't that hard to find honestly.


Yeah, really. You'll be in there sick of guys hitting on you. I see it all the time...


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

As someone else said, just be careful of the guys which will only see you in a physical way. By the sounds of it you are looking for something meaningful.


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## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

bwidger85 said:


> wth? not every married man is looking for extra on the side. that makes men look bad.


If I thought every married guy was looking for extra on the side I would have said 100%, so I will leave it at 50%. And you do realize those numbers were pulled from my butt with no data to back them up, right?


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

Haha dont worry im not gonna ask out a married guy. my friend whos 21 told me when you turn 21 and go to a bar you get lots of attention and people trying to buy you drinks, haha. i wont do that, but its funny 

and yes, im seriously asking. i dont understand men. i wouldnt know unless i asked them, i just wanted a generalization on this question 

im not a gold digger and actually prefer guys who are middle class and not rich, a lot of times rich guys are arrogant. not all the time, but many times

and of course i dont want a guy my age. i have experienced guys well into their twenties still acting very immature even though they might have been nice or whatever, they seemed good, they were cheating on their girlfriends, being selfish. im just not physically attracted to guys under 35. i LAUGH when people tell me to go for younger guys I CANT HELP IT! i dont try to like older guys i just do. its not something i can change. i know there are younger mature guys but i just dont want them, its not really my fault. 

plus i feel like im 30 sometimes. actually most of the time. im an old soul for sure, very different from people my age which is why i have a hard time connecting with younger people. i honestly do not act 20 at all. at work and most other places i get along and talk to people that are like at least 30 or older because theyre just nicer and less judgemental and more mature, i just have no patience anymore for younger guys who are immature

i think i know the reasons too, as to why i like older guys. and i dont care. i dont think its fair that i should stay single because i wont be happy if i date and immature guy im not attracted to, its LYING to myself and ive tried liking younger guys and i just dont.

its funny, an older guy asked me out this weekend , haha so i guess some guys do like younger girls.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Why don't you get guys? What is there to get? Drop the stereotypes and start seeing people as unique individuals and you'll soon realize that guys under a certain age aren't all immature cheaters. I'm tired of hearing how men and women are so vastly emotionally different...


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

well, lets see, dont have any male friends, dad, relatives, etc. so i havent grown up being close to one. at all. so of course, i dont really understand them. i understand them less than girls with a dad or male relatives. 

i already said not ALL young guys are immature. dont tell me you dont see a lot of young guys doing "dude , bro im gonna get f****** drunk and blah blah blah then go to the gym and bench 200000 lbs because lyke women find that hot" even guys almost 20 talking like this, i hear it all the time. its just a known fact and i said a lot not all. its just true

and men and women are wired differently they are different emotionally, for sure


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## Rushes (Mar 31, 2009)

Rushes wants to know why you keep posting the same thread about age continuously just to bring about more arguments?


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

im not trying to incite arguments, actually. just want men's opinions. guess im sick for liking old men /gives up/.


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## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

1applehearts1 said:


> what are the chances An older man (between maybe 36-45) would say "yes" to a girl, lets say, 20 years old, that asks him out?, (if that makes sense.) lets say hes single. i know all guys are different but just, in general. Im tired of being too scared to ask anyone out. if theres a better chance that he will say yes...ill be less intimidated. just want general opinions, thanks.


Chances of a guy wanting to be with you? Probably close to 100%. The chances of him actually going through with it, I'm not sure. He might feel that you are waaay too young, even if you are "legal".

If he says no, it would probably have everything to do with that, and nothing to do with him not liking you.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

Yeah you're right about younger guys being more immature and those are the guys I don't date. How come you don't like the younger, but mature guys? What's so appealing of older guys for your age? Just curious. Do you like guys that are 30 years old or does it have to be 35 and up? Because guys who are just 25 and older are mature enough. You don't have to go up to 35. What's the appeal for you?


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## Rasputin_1 (Oct 27, 2008)

1applehearts1 said:


> Really? I thought it might be embarassing for them thats how ive always seen it, haha i will make sure the guy is single ...im not a homewrecker


My ex married a 40 year old


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

thegoodtimes said:


> Yeah you're right about younger guys being more immature and those are the guys I don't date. How come you don't like the younger, but mature guys? What's so appealing of older guys for your age? Just curious. Do you like guys that are 30 years old or does it have to be 35 and up? Because guys who are just 25 and older are mature enough. You don't have to go up to 35. What's the appeal for you?


Funny. When I was your age, I found most women my age to be too immature. I find the same holds for many women my age even now.


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## meowgirl (Aug 24, 2009)

1applehearts1 said:


> well, lets see, dont have any male friends, dad, relatives, etc. so i havent grown up being close to one. at all. so of course, i dont really understand them. i understand them less than girls with a dad or male relatives.


It makes a little bit more sense now... I was trying to rationalize why you would feel that way...

Probably a lot of 30 year olds would say yes, but you really don't want the ones that do. Girl to girl, I'm warning you they are probably just going to use you for your physical side... and then what happens when you get older, they are just going to dump you for another 20 year old. I know it feels like most guys are immature... but in reality i think most people are, guys and girls. maybe you could look in different places like college or the bookstore. In fact, here the guys are super mature (working on doctorates in their twenties). And I know you can't help that attraction... i had a close friend who was in the same boat and went out with a way older guy... and he just used her, and i'm pretty sure 99.9% older guys going out with a 20 year old would. The good 30 year olds would probably say no. So maybe you could try to find someone who looks a little bit older for their age (bearded etc.) but is still around your age who is mature nice guy. This is by no means easy, but it's going to be harder for you in the end if you just go out with an older guy.


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## iuseings (Nov 11, 2009)

ew, why would you want to know that? lol


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

thegoodtimes said:


> Yeah you're right about younger guys being more immature and those are the guys I don't date. How come you don't like the younger, but mature guys? What's so appealing of older guys for your age? Just curious. Do you like guys that are 30 years old or does it have to be 35 and up? Because guys who are just 25 and older are mature enough. You don't have to go up to 35. What's the appeal for you?


actually i know a ton of 25 year old guys that are still VERY immature and selfish jerks. im not gonna wait around another 10 years for them to grow up. i dont have tolerance for games and all of that. older guys are hotter anyways...cant stand how some young guys talk "aight...ill hit you up homie" lingo...so irritating. older guys are just...normal....they dont sag or try to act gangster (most of them) and its just everything about older guys..i like.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

STKinTHEmud said:


> Funny. When I was your age, I found most women my age to be too immature. I find the same holds for many women my age even now.


i know that. ive said that many times in here too. which is why i dont get a long with many young people in general and becoming overall cynical about our generation. i typically get along better with girls at least mid to late twenties


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

meowgirl said:


> It makes a little bit more sense now... I was trying to rationalize why you would feel that way...
> 
> Probably a lot of 30 year olds would say yes, but you really don't want the ones that do. Girl to girl, I'm warning you they are probably just going to use you for your physical side... and then what happens when you get older, they are just going to dump you for another 20 year old. I know it feels like most guys are immature... but in reality i think most people are, guys and girls. maybe you could look in different places like college or the bookstore. In fact, here the guys are super mature (working on doctorates in their twenties). And I know you can't help that attraction... i had a close friend who was in the same boat and went out with a way older guy... and he just used her, and i'm pretty sure 99.9% older guys going out with a 20 year old would. The good 30 year olds would probably say no. So maybe you could try to find someone who looks a little bit older for their age (bearded etc.) but is still around your age who is mature nice guy. This is by no means easy, but it's going to be harder for you in the end if you just go out with an older guy.


honestly, im not attracted to any guy under 35. i dont even like beards on men. i just dont like young people in general lately. and to be honest not everyone is immature. neurologically, girls mature a lot quicker and earlier than boys, its just fact. which i think is why a lot of girls my age prefer a guy at least 25. even the nice mature ones im still not attracted to. there can be good men that are attracted to younger girls and would go out with them if they were mature and had their stuff together. thats my opinion. at this point i kind of dont even really care what everyone thinks now. im living for what i want now. im tired of waiting for guys to grow up and i dont want to please everyone anymore. i feel like a 30 year old stuck in a 20 year olds body. im very different from people my age.


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

1applehearts1 said:


> i know that. ive said that many times in here too. which is why i dont get a long with many young people in general and becoming overall cynical about our generation. i typically get along better with girls at least mid to late twenties


To be honest, I had a tendency to judge people based on how they typed messages on AIM. To be honest, if I were reading your messages on this forum when I was your age, I would probably have thought you immature. I don't mean to critique your writing skills, I'm just pointing out how sometimes we have a tendency to misjudge people superficially based on ques that might not indicate maturity.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

1applehearts1 said:


> actually i know a ton of 25 year old guys that are still VERY immature and selfish jerks. im not gonna wait around another 10 years for them to grow up. i dont have tolerance for games and all of that. older guys are hotter anyways...cant stand how some young guys talk "aight...ill hit you up homie" lingo...so irritating. older guys are just...normal....they dont sag or try to act gangster (most of them) and its just everything about older guys..i like.


Yeah there are immature 25 year old guys. What about 30? You mentioned 35. Come on 30 is REALLY mature and I don't mean any sarcasm in that.


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## TRENNER (Sep 21, 2009)

1applehearts1 said:


> what are the chances An older man (between maybe 36-45) would say "yes" to a girl, lets say, 20 years old, that asks him out?, (if that makes sense.) lets say hes single. i know all guys are different but just, in general. Im tired of being too scared to ask anyone out. if theres a better chance that he will say yes...ill be less intimidated. just want general opinions, thanks.


As an older guy myself, age 47, if I were single and attracted to her, I probably wouldn't turn down the date. However, I'd wonder where we'd be headed with such a huge life gap between us. Also, if I were single at my age, I would probably not be initiating (being the pursuer) with women younger than their mid 30's.

IMO, if you want to ask a guy out in his mid to late 20's--a bit older than you but not more than 10 years--fine. Going for a man much older can be problematic--particularly in the long run. I have a former colleague who married a man 22 years older than her. When she was in her 40's, he needed radical prostate surgery, making him unable to....Then, in the end of his life, she was cleaning his diarrhea off the floor.


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## Ysonesse (Dec 25, 2009)

The chances are about 50/50, just like any other time when you ask someone out. Sometimes the guy might turn you down because of their personal squick factor at dating someone younger (especially if they have a daughter around your age...yep, I'm speaking from personal experience). But if he doesn't, then you're good to go.


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

thegoodtimes said:


> Yeah there are immature 25 year old guys. What about 30? You mentioned 35. Come on 30 is REALLY mature and I don't mean any sarcasm in that.


It might seem that way, since they are older with more wrinkles and are able to project that look of maturity. But I know a LOT of immature 30ish guys. I don't know any 35ish guys, immature or not.


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## TRENNER (Sep 21, 2009)

STKinTHEmud said:


> It might seem that way, since they are older with more wrinkles and are able to project that look of maturity. But I know a LOT of immature 30ish guys. I don't know any 35ish guys, immature or not.


Actually, in my experience, guys close to my age who actively pursue women 20-25 years younger than them tend to be among the most immature and irresponsible members of my age group.


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## Rasputin_1 (Oct 27, 2008)

I plan on being immature until the day I die!


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

STKinTHEmud said:


> To be honest, I had a tendency to judge people based on how they typed messages on AIM. To be honest, if I were reading your messages on this forum when I was your age, I would probably have thought you immature. I don't mean to critique your writing skills, I'm just pointing out how sometimes we have a tendency to misjudge people superficially based on ques that might not indicate maturity.


HONESTLY, im not typing anything that would even seem immature at all. and actually, yeah a ton of guys that are 25 are very immature. i experience it on a daily basis at school/work/being in public. im sorry but its the truth. why do you think a lot of women like older men? its not rocket science. im sorry if this offends you because you are a young guy. but i like older men and their maturity.

of course older guys can be immature as well but its just not as common


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

thegoodtimes said:


> Yeah there are immature 25 year old guys. What about 30? You mentioned 35. Come on 30 is REALLY mature and I don't mean any sarcasm in that.


i know. 30 year olds are usually pretty mature. however, i just am not attracted to them. they just look too young for my liking. i like guys that look around middle aged. (35-45)


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

TRENNER said:


> As an older guy myself, age 47, if I were single and attracted to her, I probably wouldn't turn down the date. However, I'd wonder where we'd be headed with such a huge life gap between us. Also, if I were single at my age, I would probably not be initiating (being the pursuer) with women younger than their mid 30's.
> 
> IMO, if you want to ask a guy out in his mid to late 20's--a bit older than you but not more than 10 years--fine. Going for a man much older can be problematic--particularly in the long run. I have a former colleague who married a man 22 years older than her. When she was in her 40's, he needed radical prostate surgery, making him unable to....Then, in the end of his life, she was cleaning his diarrhea off the floor.


I agree theres probably many problems with dating someone way older. its come to the point where i dont care though. weird.

ive heard of stories like that. all ican do is hope that doesnt happen to me. maybe im my thirties ill be attracted to guys closer to my age. who knows

why do you think i havent asked an older guy out before? its because of all the potential problems but it is possible that it could work out. it might just take more work than a relationship between people closer in age. im willing to try.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

STKinTHEmud said:


> It might seem that way, since they are older with more wrinkles and are able to project that look of maturity. But I know a LOT of immature 30ish guys. I don't know any 35ish guys, immature or not.


i do too. i know a handful of them. but i find its not to the same level as younger guys. and not as common. i think you know that too! :yes


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

1applehearts1 said:


> HONESTLY, im not typing anything that would even seem immature at all. and actually, yeah a ton of guys that are 25 are very immature. i experience it on a daily basis at school/work/being in public. im sorry but its the truth. why do you think a lot of women like older men? its not rocket science. im sorry if this offends you because you are a young guy. but i like older men and their maturity.
> 
> of course older guys can be immature as well but its just not as common


Okay, now this is completely off topic and I apologize for it, but, as a professional student of English Lit, when people make no effort whatsoever to be grammatically correct and throw thoughts out there haphazardly without considering the effects of the language they use to express them, it really bothers me. Your not capitalizing the words at the beginning of your sentences and the language you use in general reminds me of the messages the little kids I used to take care of at a summer camp would write when we all left one another at the end of the week. Again, I apologize, but I can't help it.

But thanks for calling me a young guy! I have been kind of worried about approaching 30, but hey, I've got 2 good years left.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

I was just being lazy. This is a casual type of forum and I thought it wouldnt matter. I am very capable of talking and typing eloquently, but whatever. Many times I act 30 rather than 20, to be honest. I was not judging you on your maturity so do not judge me on mine. Makes me laugh how I post these threads and guys call me immature just because they are ticked off that I called many younger guys immature which is a painful but well known FACT


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

1applehearts1 said:


> Makes me laugh how I post these threads and guys call me immature just because they are ticked off that I called many younger guys immature which is a painful but well known FACT


Where is joinmartin when you need him to write a well-reasoned post about how our judgments of what others think and feel are so often unsupportable by what we perceive as "fact?"

I'm going to go ahead and back out of this thread.


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## radames (Jul 6, 2009)

I'm a guy who has dated a woman in her early 40s but I was 27. It was a very simple and easy relationship. A couple of years later I met my wife who was 26. I was concerned about the immaturity and insecurity of young women which is why I went older. In many ways I have the mind of a 50 year old. Eventually I realized that there can be many hidden rewards in the difficulties that are endured with someone less experienced and less mature. I'm no Dalai Lama mind you. I am finding that it takes a lot of steely patience and perspective.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

STKinTHEmud said:


> Where is joinmartin when you need him to write a well-reasoned post about how our judgments of what others think and feel are so often unsupportable by what we perceive as "fact?"
> 
> I'm going to go ahead and back out of this thread.


dont worry i know what i am talking about, honey


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

radames said:


> I'm a guy who has dated a woman in her early 40s but I was 27. It was a very simple and easy relationship. A couple of years later I met my wife who was 26. I was concerned about the immaturity and insecurity of young women which is why I went older. In many ways I have the mind of a 50 year old. Eventually I realized that there can be many hidden rewards in the difficulties that are endured with someone less experienced and less mature. I'm no Dalai Lama mind you. I am finding that it takes a lot of steely patience and perspective.


I agree with you. many challenges but also some hidden rewards as well. thank you for your insight


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