# Worst thing your parents have said to you?



## Ms Yesterday

It's funny, just a simple "I'm ashamed of you" can make you feel like such utter ****. 
My Mum is bipolar so she apparently doesn't mean what she says at her low points, but obviously she thinks it on some level. 
Has anyone else had parents say something like that to their face?


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## Nono441

Sometimes I feel the worst thing is really what they don't say. The absence of words can often hurt more than the words themselves. Have you considered that?


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## Archeron

I think something like "you are good for nothing.always causing trouble,ruining everything".
She was angry so somehow to me it is justified.


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## Orgone

Mom: "Do you care about other people?" 

That was when I went completely apathetic. So no, thanks to you and your stupid husband, I don't care about anything.

It's really not that bad, it's just that my family has been through a lot, and I've hated them forever. Now I'm finally somewhat appreciating how much my dad works weekly.


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## ineverwipe

That I should quit being such a deadbeat loser and get a job


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## RelinquishedHell

"I don't care if you end up sleeping on a park bench."

"I hate you."

"Your a loser, what the hell is the matter with you? Why don't you make some friends and get a girlfriend?"

"Are you gay?"

"Your a son of a b****." ( Haha, I agree ).


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## Milkman

"Get a job, *******"


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## Nanami

"Out of the three of you (my two brothers and me) I thought you would definitely be the least likely to succeed/do anything with your life. I'm really proud of you."

Something like that. It was a while after I moved out with my boyfriend, working full time and going to college. ANNOYING.


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## Jazzbird

"You're nothing but a ****ing accident and I never wanted to have you.It's a miracle you're still alive."

"All you do is sit at home.Why don't you make friends instead of being the miserable little **** that you are?"


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## AxlRose408

Dad:

"You're nothing but trouble"
"We'll chuck you out on the streets"
"You're nothing without us"
"If you want to live with us, you have to get along"
"Why aren't you talking to us"
"You will obey us"
"Shut up"
"Don't shout"
"Completely useless you are"

Mom:

"We won't leave you a cent"
"We'll throw you out on the streets"
"You were the bad one" (comparing me and my brother)
"One should never have kids"
"Get a life, get some friends"
"She's a ****" (talking about my female friend)
"Who is this? What is this about?" (to a female friend who called our house)
"You've always been bad, ever since you were a little boy"
"Am I prettier than all your moms?" (to my friends at my birthday party)
"Can I join your little get together?" (seeing me with my friends in our backyard)
"You're life is so boring"
"You're living with us, so we are responsible for you" (I'm 32)
"Put lettuce in your sandwich"
"You've given us enough trouble"


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## LolaViola

I can't think of anything really bad that my mom or dad ever said to me but my stepmom once called me poor IN FRONT of my dad. She said it in such an degrading tone and almost spat the words at me. She constantly brags about the good money she makes, and I knew she just loved pointing out once again that she's better off than me. That really pissed me off and I find that P word very offensive, especially since I have never been poor. I already didn't like her to begin with, seeing that she has always been extremely snobbish, condescending, and patronizing towards me. She has said many other rude things to me IN FRONT of my dad, but that almost sent me over the edge. I could have strangled her right then and there, and my dad too, for sitting idly by while his wife was a total b**** to me for no reason. He never has my back, even when he knows she's out of line and in the wrong. That's what hurts the most.


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## uselessgoodfornothing

Ms Yesterday said:


> It's funny, just a simple "I'm ashamed of you" can make you feel like such utter ****.
> My Mum is bipolar so she apparently doesn't mean what she says at her low points, but obviously she thinks it on some level.
> Has anyone else had parents say something like that to their face?


when i was 15 i was self harming and really depressed because i had no friends, one day i said to my mother "i wish i was dead, i want to die, i might kill myself"

this made her really upset so she went into her room and cried

so...my dad gets home, and finds her crying, so for some reason blames me for this, and goes ballistic at me, i had never experienced this level of rage from my father before in my life, i litterally started shaking and didnt know what to do.

he said stuff like "your brother was so much better than you when he was 15, look at you, no spark, nothing inside you"

stuff like that

i couldnt look him in the eye for 6 months i was so afraid....he would just smile at me in a sarcastic way when i walked past him and he didnt care... it was so horrible, me trying to express how bad i felt inside to my mother led be to just be treated like that. it really changed me.

its funny because im 19 now and last year found out dad was cheating on mum at the time, i guess he felt guilty she was crying and took his anger out on me or something

:bash


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## handsup

"Allah will burn you in hell, because you are not religious, you have to pray 5 times a day"

"You are just an idiot who has SA, you are not a normal person"


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## uselessgoodfornothing

Nono441 said:


> Sometimes I feel the worst thing is really what they don't say. The absence of words can often hurt more than the words themselves. Have you considered that?


man i know what you mean, like you know what they're thinking, you know your a failure, but nobody says anything, this awkward silence...its almost worse, at least if they said it you could deal with it. iv only had a few times in my life where my family degraded me, but most of the time they just talked about me behind my back

but i was always afraid of getting in fights with them, because i know they'd have so much ammo...


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## Ms Yesterday

Nono441 said:


> Sometimes I feel the worst thing is really what they don't say. The absence of words can often hurt more than the words themselves. Have you considered that?


That's so true. I think my Dad (who tries to encourage me) is like that. Even though he doesn't say things to my face I can still sense his disappointment. But for someone like me who usually suppresses/mentally avoids acknowledging a lot of things when I'm told to my face it hits me harder because I can't deny the truth then.


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## SwY

handsup said:


> "Allah will burn you in hell, because you are not religious, you have to pray 5 times a day"
> 
> "You are just an idiot who has SA, you are not a normal person"


Very religious people are the worst!
My christian parents almost kicked me out of the house, when I told them I am an atheist.


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## Mr Bacon

Ms Yesterday said:


> It's funny, just a simple "I'm ashamed of you" can make you feel like such utter ****.


I agree. That's the worst thing to hear. That you have failed to live up to your parents' expectations.



AxlRose408 said:


> "Put lettuce in your sandwich"













Jazzbird said:


> "You're nothing but a ****ing accident and I never wanted to have you.It's a miracle you're still alive."
> 
> "All you do is sit at home.Why don't you make friends instead of being the miserable little **** that you are?"





uselessgoodfornothing said:


> when i was 15 i was self harming and really depressed because i had no friends, one day i said to my mother "i wish i was dead, i want to die, i might kill myself"
> 
> this made her really upset so she went into her room and cried
> 
> so...my dad gets home, and finds her crying, so for some reason blames me for this, and goes ballistic at me, i had never experienced this level of rage from my father before in my life, i litterally started shaking and didnt know what to do.
> 
> he said stuff like "your brother was so much better than you when he was 15, look at you, no spark, nothing inside you"


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## feems99

my mother once asked me to have sex with her


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## Valtron

*me fussing over my dog*

Mom: "Val, you need a boyfriend."

Ouch.


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## wertyguy

I'm ugly that no girls are going to like me.


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## Onimaru

My dad is pretty much put of the picture so even if he had anything negative to say i don't think he'd have the right to.

My mom though...

"You're my least favorite" (referring to my bro,sis,and i)
"you're nothing but a burden"
"I'm so proud of your brother and sister, look how far they've made it...They did so much at your age and here you are still a good for nothing idiot"
"You have nothing going for you, it's no wonder you have no friends"
"When are you ever going to be normal?!"
"Kill yourself, I don't care anymore"

ah mom :/


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## RichBigD

"You were a vile, crying, horrible child". The fact my parents split up at when I was 4 just rubs it in harder


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## aaa120

Mom: "you're a f***ing idiot"
"You're wasting your life away"
"You're getting fatter"
"Get out of here, I can't even look at you right now"


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## rayrae7

Mine seems pathetic to some, but I hate it when she calls me mean. I am not mean. ever. If you want me to be mean, I'll show you mean.


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## Ms Yesterday

*hugs everyone*
A lot of the time my Mum says insulting things, but because she's "joking" I'm supposed to brush them off. 
Parents suck.


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## Grog

Time for you to leave but if you do don't come back i left that day (and never did return ) I was 16 one comment things may have been so different but the past is the past and is called the past because it has passed and now is all that matters


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## AshleyAnn

Nono441 said:


> Sometimes I feel the worst thing is really what they don't say. The absence of words can often hurt more than the words themselves. Have you considered that?


I definitely agree.


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## LowCountryTransplant

Wow.

I must have been lucky, I could never imagine my parents saying any of these things to me. I'd be in shock. Just awful.

/hugs to all


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## shycheese

"You're a worthless piece of ****. You are nothing without me." I was 10. It was like being stabbed in the heart.


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## usafuturesoldier4000

"I like how you sit in my house all day and eat up all my food and soak up all my cool air while I'm out working! You need to hurry up and get a job.."


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## usafuturesoldier4000

Grog said:


> Time for you to leave but if you do don't come back i left that day (and never did return ) I was 16 one comment things may have been so different but the past is the past and is called the past because it has passed and now is all that matters


that was pretty brave of you to leave. I want to do the same thing...but I have nowhere to go. Where are you now?


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## TheExplosionist

"You're going to be depressed and miserable when you're 40. You have no life."


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## Grog

usafuturesoldier4000 said:


> that was pretty brave of you to leave. I want to do the same thing...but I have nowhere to go. Where are you now?[/
> Not brave just stupid and stubborn
> Now well im on my own feet and am doing quite well in the way of survival I've got a stable job ,house and the stuff that goes with . things work out with a lot of hard work,a lot of mistakes ,a lot of going backward to go forward and a lot of sacrifice .but that is just normal life
> Unless you are in an abusive home I would not leave
> It makes your start so much harder


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## shadow woman

*i feel you...*



Ms Yesterday said:


> It's funny, just a simple "I'm ashamed of you" can make you feel like such utter ****.
> My Mum is bipolar so she apparently doesn't mean what she says at her low points, but obviously she thinks it on some level.
> Has anyone else had parents say something like that to their face?


yes, i hear that from my dad almost every other day... i just want to tell him to shut up and go look at himself in the mirror first. but its not how I'v been raised, so i just keep my mouth shut and cry.


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## red3002

Dad: "I wish I had another kid instead of you (talking about a kid on my baseball team because I never wanted to go)"

When he said it I was only 12 and he said it like I was a ****ing baseball card he could just trade with someone.

Among the countless other things that have said...


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## renegade disaster

recently? overheard my dad calling me a ****ing ba$tard. i'm sure he's said a lot of s*** about me behind my back too. I hate the guy. my mother used to talk to my father about me while I was in earshot...
she said I looked like I had a disease recently due to being quite pale.

for me though I think its all the subtle put downs and masked behaviour that was what really got to me as a kid. just basically being treated like **** all the time.


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## vanilla90

My mum called me a failure because of my anxiety... Sigh.


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## sansd

When I was 13, my dad said I was just a stupid b**** if I couldn't add enough to a writing assignment to meet the requirements (which I felt that I couldn't).


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## Ysonesse

My parents have said a lot of things that aren't particularly great, but the worst has to be: "You have to take care of us when we get older".


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## rikkie

Something along the lines of me being a psycho. I went to the store with her that night and I was very much on edge and had a little outburst when we were putting up the groceries.


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## marybobary

This is interesting because i'm willing to bet the majority of people on here are suffering immeasurably from this disorder because of this very thing....our parents saying hurtful things to us for any number of reasons. Why don't they understand that they have helped create what they see in front of them? It really is pretty sad, for all parties involved. I myself have received a few gems such as "you are just the kind of person that can't be trusted", "everything that is **** in this house has come from you", "there's no way you can have morals if you don't believe in god", "you're becoming a ****ing failure", etc. etc....i think the most important thing we can do is realize that we are 1. not alone 2. above all that ridiculousness and can rise above the heartless things our family has said or done to us and 3. we need to realize our parents are probably more sick than we are and we can learn from their shortcomings and mistakes to better ourselves. Sorry some of you have been clearly treated so horrendously and I'm sending out good vibes to you all!!


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## Michael M88

After my dad and I disowned each other, he told my sister that he deserves better people than me in his life.


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## Zack

"Don't slam the damn door! Please shut it more quietly."


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## Kami E

My dad just told me I'm evil.

After I confronted him and told him that it feels like he doesn't care about anyone but himself.


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## Stargirl15

I think the worst thing my mom ever said to me was, "Don't compete with your brother because he will always beat you." I know she was trying to comfort me, but that just STUNG!!!


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## CharmedOne

You're a piece of s--t


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## Putin

Dad- "You're miserable and alone, no one wants you!"

or

"What did I do for God to give me a soon like this?"


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## Ender

Loyalty is more important than love, was the worse advice my mother gave me.

Dad called me a lot of names, [email protected] mostly.


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## legday

dad: you're a failure, you are a complete **** up 

mom: get the **** away from me you make me want to die

funny thing is im in uni right now, i got a 3.7x gpa, a 2000+ sat score and I have never drank really or done any drugs.


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## XSamX

My mother- fu** you dumb bit**. and you lying piece of s***
My father- .... well pretty much everything out of his mouth, but his actions were always what stung.


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## Tokztero

"You are not strong enough to join the Marines."


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## Stormclouds

Oh my folks came up with all kinds of endearing comments to me, like:


If you don't shape up, we're dropping you off at the orphanage. 
Look at me like that again and I'll knock your teeth down your throat.
I wish you'd never been born.
I'll knock your head right off your shoulders.
You're a little milquetoast (because I didn't want to volunteer first for something)
You're spineless (because I didn't want to slap another little girl who had spit at me)
You're a chicken****. (Because I was scared to ride the biggest and wildest horse in the stable)
You're a *****/****.
What will the neighbors think???

I'm sure there were more, but those are the ones that come to mind.

Add that to the physical abuse and presto, you've got the scared person with no self-esteem or self-worth that I am today.


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## Ms Yesterday

Latest addition;
"God just leave I don't even want to look at your face, you make me so ashamed"
But what's hurting me most right is what hasn't been said. The "I'm proud" for doing well at uni, or a "how are you?" Instead of "are you depressed again today?"


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## TenYears

"I hate you and I wish you had never been born" by my mom. Thanks, mom. Love you too.


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## mcmuffinme

The other day my dad said my brother and sister were disgusted with me, and that if he and my mother died he doesn't think they would let me live with them. I don't know why he thought this information would help, or why if my siblings do feel this way, they have yet to tell me about it.

I need to get out of this house...out of this city...maybe even out of this state.


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## JT501

My parents have become alot nicer to me in the last five years, particularly because their "golden child" (my sister) turned out to be not so golden, but whatever.

My whole childhood was just a compilation of fights and "put-downs". Because I have a large vocabulary, tons of "professionals" told my parents that I would be incredibly smart. They were wrong. My parents were always let down by me because of this, and they were never afraid to say so.

They hated that I didn't play a sport, and resented the fact that I needed therapy early on in my life (because they and their genes ****ed me up). They also mocked me relentlessly for my anxiety and fears (I was a hypochondriac, but never got love and support for it). Some quick favorite comments (mostly my mom):

Mom: "Why do you always act up? Why can't you be like [your sister]?"

Mom: "Why don't you ever hang out with people? Jessi has lots of friends and she's so much younger."

Me: "Thanks for paying for my therapy."
Mom: "I'd prefer to be paying for you to play a sport, but whatever."

Me: "Why don't you just love me for who I am?"
Mom: "Well, you aren't exactly what I expected!"

I'm sure there are countless others, but they just blended into my everyday life as a child.


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## Jack Jackson

My mom said to me once, "You have no social skills." I know it's not an insult or even a horrible thing to say but it started making me feel self conscious whenever I talked to people. It made me think whether the other person was enjoying the conversation, it made me panic whenever there was a silence that lasted more than a few seconds and it made me afraid that I would have nothing to say. My mom saying that to me was one of the reasons I developed SA.


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## Dan the metalhead

My mom called me retarded once :/.


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## Terranaut

My parents never really spoke to me as a pair until they decided to search my closet when I was 19. They found an lb of weed, a dozen thai sticks, on oz of hash and a hundred dots. I talked them into giving it back. :clap

But, I had to get rid of it all and behave better.


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## aGenericUsername

I can barely remember yesterday, but the most recent insult I got was from my dad.. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!" but he apologized


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## JennaReiko

"You're an adult now stop being such a big baby." "You're being stupid" or "just suck it up and stop it now" are the top three worst things my mother says to me

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


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## cafune

Fave: "You will lose everything."


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## KaitlynRose

"You were born only to fulfill one purpose: to make me look better." Thanks Mom.


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## farfegnugen

My parents could be harsh and at times insulting towards me, but the worst was always being told that they're "disappointed in you (me)" for whatever reason. It goes straight to the core.


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## walkinwounded

Dad: "you're too much like your mother"
Mom: "you're too much like your father"

Kind of makes me wonder what they mean, since they both hate each other. 

Neither of them want to admit that whatever is wrong with me, could've came from their side of the family.


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## Crimson Lotus

I wouldn't say it's the worst but it was the most shocking to me... "You're stabbing yourself."

It sounds weird in English and the actual meaning is somewhat lost, but the implications behind it were rather hurtful to me.


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## lonelygirl87

handsup said:


> "Allah will burn you in hell, because you are not religious, you have to pray 5 times a day"
> 
> "You are just an idiot who has SA, you are not a normal person"


its true, religious ppl are the worst. My bro in law is christian, they think they are so righteous and perfect. They put their fancy clothes on at church, drive their fancy cars, manicured nails...but they are on welfare, pass anti-gay petitions to sign at church, cheat on their spouses, hypocrites....etc
Plus, pastor at a church pays young gangbangers and bums on the streets for "favors", tries to lure males into trusting them, saying God talks to him about them, blah blah blah..I can go on and on about what I know about behind the scenes church...
Phew, that felt good.
I lost my faith completely at one time until one day when I ran into an old friend who told me not to judge God based on his servants, they are human and unperfect.
Sucks when you don't have Faith, cuz it makes me extremely afraid of dying, of what happens after we die


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## NoWhereMan72

a few days after my grand pa died my mom said i didn't give a damn about him with how i was living , there is more to it that lead to this but thats one of the things i was told ,and my dad before he passed was a real *** hole so i just ignored him like he was dead then he did die... so yeah that left me pretty damn confused and kind of guilty because he died never letting me try to make things up with how we were on a level of hate that no one should be on..


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## Effacer

After thinking about this long and hard, I've realised that I can't bring myself to type the most hurtful things my parents have ever said to me. It's like I'm scared they'll somehow find out I'm admitting it, even though neither of them can use a computer well enough to find this place.


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## yellowturtle

My dad said he didn't care if I was happy or not, and my mom lines my life with "your sister is so much better the you", and my personal favorite, "I wish I never had you!"


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## Bert Reynolds

Wow, I can't believe all of the harsh comments on here from parents. I've been fortunate enough to have good parents who support me, and who have never once insulted/negatively criticized me either. There's no excuse for being a bad parent.


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## Riri11

i dont know.. crazy?.. and alot more.. ugly/ a failure/ weird


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## Nathan18

There are some pretty awful comments in this thread.

I can't think of anything that really sticks out to me. Even though I'm the way I am, they have always been very supportive of me. I guess I can say that I'm lucky to have them as parents.

I guess they shouted at me a little bit when my SA and agoraphobia started to get quite severe, but they didn't know what was wrong with me. When I explained, they were supportive.


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## scorch428

Mom - "You know most people your age are married, and have children... a stable job. You have nothing. What is wrong with you?"


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## Ms Yesterday

farfegnugen said:


> My parents could be harsh and at times insulting towards me, but the worst was always being told that they're "disappointed in you (me)" for whatever reason. It goes straight to the core.


When you already feel like a failure personally, parents reaffirming that by saying "they're ashamed" or "disappointed" is seriously the worse thing they can say to you especially when no one is supporting you.


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## Roadkill1337

My parents usually keep their mouths shut about my problems, but I can tell when my father is disappointed in me. When he does decide to say something, it is usually pretty bad. 

One of the sayings that still haunts me and one of the things I will never forgive him for was, "Shut your little ******y face up." Some of my other favorites from him are, "Why can't you just be normal?", "Maybe if you actually did something with your life you'd feel a lot better", and "I don't want you living in this house anymore." It angers me because he can't grasp the fact that I can't just go out and be 'normal'.

I read some of the things other users' parents have said to them, and I'm lucky that my parents haven't said those things. It really makes me wonder how a parent could be so uncaring and heartless to say that to their own child. The stuff my father has said is mild compared to the stuff I've read here.


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## HelplessKitten

One of my first memories is from when I was about 6, I spent ages picking out a mothers day gift for my mother and when I gave it to her she said how horrible it was and how I shouldn't have bothered/could I take it back


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## moonlite

One of the worst was several years ago my mother said to my dad that the reason I stay at home is so I can get their house once they die. Making me out to be some sort of leech, which isn't true.


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## Farideh

I am going to throw you out on the streets so the dogs will come and eat you. That's what my dad told me when I didn't know how to solve a math problem. I was about 12 years old.


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## SilentLie

When my mother said that she's disappointed in me while I was having my very first panic attack. She and my father said a lot of mean things, but that was the worst for me.
I mean come on...Your child is suffering right in front of you and you just say something like that? Very clever.


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## Alsark

My dad has called me stupid on a few occasions or would yell at me to shut up. I think this is one of the main reasons why I am so reserved... whenever I would open my mouth I'd basically get told I was stupid or that I needed to shut up. He did this more during my childhood and hasn't really said anything mean to me since - but I think it shaped me more than the hurtful things my mom said.

My mom always told me I was basically never going to do anything with my life. Despite getting all A's in all of my classes, she said I was going to be "stuck working at Cold Stone my entire life"... while I was still in college. It's like... what more do you want from me? I'm _going through college to get a degree_, I'm working a low end job, like most college students do, to support myself through college... how am I a good for nothing?

Anyway, I have a legit job now and neither of my parents give me grief anymore, but the whole "you're stupid/need to shut up/will never amount to anything" has implanted itself deeply into my head.


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## Alsark

Paloma M said:


> I am going to throw you out on the streets so the dogs will come and eat you. That's what my dad told me when I didn't know how to solve a math problem. I was about 12 years old.


... And you never attempted another math problem again.

Sorry to hear that - that's a wee bit of an overreaction.


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## Ineko

My mother raised four of us on her own cause my dad split, so by the time I was a teen she was kinda frustrated and tired so I heard:
"I wish you were never born" said after I made my curtains fall down (accidently) 
"Next time you try to kill yourself do it in front of me so I know if you screw up of not"
^this happened after my best friend in high school told the counsellor that I was cutting my wrists. so my mom got mad that she got called by the school


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## TenYears

Ineko said:


> My mother raised four of us on her own cause my dad split, so by the time I was a teen she was kinda frustrated and tired so I heard:
> "I wish you were never born" said after I made my curtains fall down (accidently)
> "Next time you try to kill yourself do it in front of me so I know if you screw up of not"
> ^this happened after my best friend in high school told the counsellor that I was cutting my wrists. so my mom got mad that she got called by the school


I'm sorry, no one should ever have to hear that, ever. My mom was really great at saying insensitive, hateful, cruel things to me when I was a kid, the kinds of things that stick with you for years and years after, so I know how that feels. She has a poison tongue. I much would have rather had the physical abuse I got than the emotional. I'm sorry. I know it doesn't make it feel any better really, but you know the words aren't true. (((hugs)))


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## licorice

I don't think it was a single thing. I was a venting outlet for my mother's neuroticism and paranoia, and frequently anxious about everything from family members dying to being abducted if I went out too late to losing our home.

The worst thing we were told, while not directly hurtful, were instructions for lying so that we wouldn't be removed from her care.


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## Greyx

I'll write some background first: My mum died when I was 1 so I lived with my nan all my life.

Fast forward 19 years and I'm in a good long distance relationship that I've been in for nearly 7 years now and I told her I planned to move to my boyfriends in the coming year (2014) and she goes berzerk starting loads of arguments about it over the next few days and she says I'm selfish for wanting to move and that she'd sacrificed her life so she could look after me (like this was my fault for being born and my mum dying :blank) and that I was causing all these arguments even though she'd just burst into my room randomly and keep the argument going.

I no longer live there and I'm still planning on moving this year


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## SelleSnowy

Wow reading all these awful things our parents have said to us brought me to tears. I hope if I am a parent that I will never slip and say anything negative about my children.

My mom has always kept it a secret from my dad (they are still married/live together) that she would emotionally abuse me and my brother when he wasn't around. She was a stay-at-home mom and at least in my experience was very bitter about having to take care of us.

I was and still am very sensitive, so when I was younger my mom would yell at me for crying about things, even though I couldn't control it. I remember her picking me up from school and screaming at me in the car, and I was so afraid of what she might do when we got in the house.

I was a straight A student, perfectionist, etc. but she constantly accused me of being "lazy" and made fun of me for having baby-fat until I was ~13. Stuff that I couldn't control. She also made mountains out of molehills, especially if we left toys or clothes on the floor. I was always afraid when she saw me playing.

She constantly yelled at my brother, who was older and always getting into genuine trouble and got bad grades/skipped school. So after she would yell at him, she would start yelling at me and comparing me to him. And then when my dad would get home from work she would pull the "poor me" card and say that we were terrorizing her, and start crying.

She said "You'll probably lie to therapists about me one day, I just know it"
Too bad it's not lies, Mom. My best friend's mom called the school counselor one day in High School because she was worried about me, but I refused to talk to them because I knew my mom would just get worse if she found out/they called her. Sadly I still think this was a smart decision.

When I went to college she hated the major I chose and called me "unappreciative" when she would micromanage my school schedule. Luckily I wasn't living at home so I could just hang up on her.

She constantly told me that my degree would amount to nothing, so when I couldn't find a job 2 months after graduation, I went home to visit. She got into a huge fight with me as I was packing up saying that I "wasn't even trying" to get a job. At the time I was sending my resume out 10-15 x per day and I told her off. She started screaming and crying and drove away for 3 hours. I think my dad finally realized what a basket-case she is. He blamed himself and it was the saddest conversation I've ever had with him.

I really don't know if I'd even be sad if she died, because she's been dead to me for my entire life.


----------



## Enoxyla

Worst thing I've ever heard was from my mom. It was when I moved back into their (well, our) house and she noticed a few cuts on my arm and said to me "if you wanted to cut yourself then you should of made sure to succeed". She basically told me that if I wanted to kill myself, I shoulda done the job.


----------



## Ms Yesterday

SelleSnowy said:


> Wow reading all these awful things our parents have said to us brought me to tears. I hope if I am a parent that I will never slip and say anything negative about my children.
> 
> My mom has always kept it a secret from my dad (they are still married/live together) that she would emotionally abuse me and my brother when he wasn't around. She was a stay-at-home mom and at least in my experience was very bitter about having to take care of us.
> 
> I was and still am very sensitive, so when I was younger my mom would yell at me for crying about things, even though I couldn't control it. I remember her picking me up from school and screaming at me in the car, and I was so afraid of what she might do when we got in the house.
> 
> I was a straight A student, perfectionist, etc. but she constantly accused me of being "lazy" and made fun of me for having baby-fat until I was ~13. Stuff that I couldn't control. She also made mountains out of molehills, especially if we left toys or clothes on the floor. I was always afraid when she saw me playing.
> 
> She constantly yelled at my brother, who was older and always getting into genuine trouble and got bad grades/skipped school. So after she would yell at him, she would start yelling at me and comparing me to him. And then when my dad would get home from work she would pull the "poor me" card and say that we were terrorizing her, and start crying.
> 
> She said "You'll probably lie to therapists about me one day, I just know it"
> Too bad it's not lies, Mom. My best friend's mom called the school counselor one day in High School because she was worried about me, but I refused to talk to them because I knew my mom would just get worse if she found out/they called her. Sadly I still think this was a smart decision.
> 
> When I went to college she hated the major I chose and called me "unappreciative" when she would micromanage my school schedule. Luckily I wasn't living at home so I could just hang up on her.
> 
> She constantly told me that my degree would amount to nothing, so when I couldn't find a job 2 months after graduation, I went home to visit. She got into a huge fight with me as I was packing up saying that I "wasn't even trying" to get a job. At the time I was sending my resume out 10-15 x per day and I told her off. She started screaming and crying and drove away for 3 hours. I think my dad finally realized what a basket-case she is. He blamed himself and it was the saddest conversation I've ever had with him.
> 
> I really don't know if I'd even be sad if she died, because she's been dead to me for my entire life.


Wow this reminded my a lot about my Mother I'm so sorry you had to go through that. All these responses make me so sad I don't think I'll have kids just because I don't want to pass on this pain to another generation.
My Mum can constantly put me down, shun and treat me like I'm the reason for everything gone wrong with her life but I'm told it's not her fault and "not to take it to heart" because she's bipolar and can't help it. Like that makes it okay for me.


----------



## komorikun

I can't really think of one thing in particular right now but my dad did make a s**t list of all the things I have done wrong.

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f36/do-you-have-a-written-list-164493/


----------



## anonanon

Right after our family dog died, my mom said that she wished that I had died instead.


----------



## Ineko

anonanon said:


> Right after our family dog died, my mom said that she wished that I had died instead.


omg!? let me hug you to my chest of happiness


----------



## Ms Yesterday

I hate when people complain about their parents being strict or controlling when at least they are getting concern. I was basically told today that I wasn't wanted as a baby and I'm still not wanted. I just hate my mother so much, how exactly am I so awful that I can't even get some love from her, even if she thinks that why does she have to tell me? I wish I was strong enough to be the bigger person and say I don't need her but I'm too weak to have enough confidence to support myself solely.


----------



## peytonfarquar

Dad: "*shaking head* If I woulda known you'd turn out this way(anxiety and depression), I never would have had you."

Mom: "Oh, God. . . If I'd have known my depression would be passed on to you I never would have had you."

Swear, it was almost the exact same words from either of them at different times in private company. Just Dad and I or Mom and I. They didn't get together and purposely agree to say that about me.


----------



## classic

"Get out of the car, I never want to see your idiot face again"
"I can't stand being around her" (talking about me obviously) 
"The reason why you never succeed in anything is because you're so lazy"
"You have no friends because you are selfish and don't care about anyone else"
"I don't give a **** about you or your bull****" (even though they get mad at me for using language)

When I tried to tell them about my SA, since I suck at having a serious conversation with people, they thought I was making a joke about having anxiety, depression, or suicidal thoughts.

Right now I am sitting in my room alone starving because I haven't eaten breakfast, lunch, or dinner because my dad "can't stand being around me." :/ (and why I joined this forum being bored out of my mind sitting in here)


----------



## Safebox

My mom said that I'm just faking my anxiety and depression because I'm a lazy (I don't have a job and I told her how hard it is for me to get one with my anxiety) and I want attention. 

Telling me that all of my struggles aren't real and that it's all for show felt like a slap to the face. The pain I've been feeling for years is very real to me, no matter what she, or anyone else, thinks.


----------



## karawbawl

I don't remember how old I was but I remember my mom saying something along the lines of "if you and your father disappeared from my life you would think I'd miss you but I'd get over it quickly" or whatever. Obviously it left some sort of imprint because I still remember her saying that in the kitchen. I think I was about 12 or 13.


----------



## AWOL89

I guess I was always the one my family thought would do well - get good grades, job etc so since this hasn't happened - i've not lived up to their expectations I suppose - they have said a number of nasty things - along the lines of being a failure and stuff like cus I haven't had a boyfriend n stuff about the fact that if I was gay then they wouldn't like it and stuff. Funnily enough I was thinking of starting a new thread to vent about something my parents just said to me that made me feel depressed - but saw this thread - anyway they basically said they think they should kick me out and make me stand on my own 2 feet - and I already feel ashamed that in my mid 20s I still live at home and rely on them for financial support. I know that this is true - that yes I shouldn't and I don't want to have to rely on them, but I guess what hurt the most about that little convo was the fact that I was seen as a burden with little value to them, and that they didn't need or want me in their life - as they were dreaming about what they could do if I didn't live with them (i.e. move).


----------



## Pierre1

My Mum has said alot of horrible stuff to me

''Your nothing to be proud of''
''Don't want nothing to do with you''
''Dog''
''Wish you was never born''


----------



## beli mawr

My parents were generally good to me as a child.

As an adult, my mother would always ask me why I was so down and quiet. When I tried to tell her I was depressed because the job and commuting took up so much of my time I got "So what? You have a job and make decent money, what else do you need?"

Wow... you asked mom, then shot me down. *Now* ask why I'm so f***ing quiet.


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## Asdf*456

My dad called me a ****ing c**t... That's about it. I'm lucky to have a caring mother.


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## Schmosby

My mum has often said she wishes that i was dead, that i was an unwanted mistake, that she hates me, she used to say she would get social services to take me away (still got my fingers crossed for this one), she's been abusive towards the few girlfriends i brought home, she has always made out that my brother is better even though he doesn't like her and does mothing for her, she's told the one female friend that came home that she was a prostitute and should stay away, she told a guy friend I was a pedophile and racist, she left me homeless when i was 15, she just tries to keep me unhappy if possible, she claims she hates me because I'm my dad's child lol nice logic there, I think the issue is that she's a bad person.


----------



## Schmosby

TenYears said:


> I much would have rather had the physical abuse I got than the emotional.


I agree, my dad used to hit me around, it hasn't affected me nearly as much as my mum's mental abuse.


----------



## FunkyFedoras

You all need a hug. I can't believe parents say this sort of thing to their children. :\

There was only one incident when my mom was angry with me and told me, "You're such a cruel child." I'm sure she doesn't remember since it was just word vomit in the heat of the moment, but I remember. It wasn't that bad or anything but at that time, I was a really depressed kid and her comment just made me plummet farther down. I guess it was just the way she said it with such distain.


----------



## mishima

I know my parents love me and I'm thankful for that, but sometimes they say harsh things when they're mad. Not too long ago my dad said I was a little **** and my mom said I'm useless. But don't get me wrong, they have always been quite lovely overall.


----------



## mishima

**** = c**nt
(sorry, I can't edit posts yet)


----------



## TreborHG9

My mom compared me to my 11 year old cousin yesterday. She says that my cousin is 11 and he has had about 3 girlfriends already. I'm 20 and I have had NONE. She just said that to me. She doesn't know that I have social anxiety. She then went on to ask me if I wanted to die alone. WHAT KIND OF FREAKING QUESTION IS THAT???? I don't want to, It's just harder for me to approach a girl compared to other guys. I can talk to girls at school or anywhere without any problem. I just don't have the guts to ask them out. I start to feel dizzy and it's just really bad. I don't know what I did to deserve this. I always treat everyone with respect and never tried to hurt anyone in any way possible. This has been making me feel so depress because I know she is right, but it's not easy for me to change this because of my problem. I wish it would be different. 

I also hate it whenever there's a family reunion and the FIRST AND ONLY QUESTION that my family seems to ask me EVERY DAMN TIME is "DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND? HAVE YOU STARTED DATING YET?" IT MAKES ME SO ****ING ANGRY. IS THAT REALLY THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION IN THE WORLD? Last person to asked me if I had a girlfriend was my uncle at his son's 5th birthday party. I'M SO ****ING SICK OF THIS ****!!!!!!! WHY IS EVERYONE RUSHING ME INTO GETTING A GIRLFRIEND? I really want a girlfriend but I need some help first, and all of this questions just put me down and lower my self esteem even more!!!!


My mom kinda wonders why I have low self esteem and at the same time keeps commenting about how much weight I have gained even though I'm not obese and I'm trying to exercise more. She's way more heavier than me so she should be the last person commenting on my weight. I wonder if she thinks that she's helping my self esteem by making fun of my weight and making me feel like a loser by comparing me to my 11 year old cousin.

I HAD IT WITH MY GIRLFRIEND OBSESSED FAMILY AND MY STUPID MOTHER. I told her a few weeks ago after she called me fat (I'm not even fat) that I have lost all respect for her and that we have nothing in common anymore. She said she was sorry and that she would stop. A FEW WEEKS LATER, SAME STORY! I CAN'T WAIT TO GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE AND MOVE AWAY FOR COLLEGE THIS FALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## KaitlynRose

_Slap!_

"How _dare _you embarrass me like that. _You. Are. Nothing. _I am your mother, your provider. I am the one who gave you a purpose. I strongly suggest you _never_ speak to me in such a way again, especially here, or there will be consequences."

That was the most invigorating and terrifying experience of my life. The look on her face... _God, _my cheek still stings.


----------



## londonguy202

Why did say moving to the states would be better. We were so happy in the UK and had a good life. You just got bored being unemployed. Go get a job, GF and get out of my house because you drank alcohol. I hate you


----------



## londonguy202

TreborHG9 said:


> My mom compared me to my 11 year old cousin yesterday. She says that my cousin is 11 and he has had about 3 girlfriends already. I'm 20 and I have had NONE.


You poor guy, 11 and already have 3 girlfriends. Thats a lot of progress. Im nearly 30 and still had made no progress. Just had nice friends who were female but I am always too nice. I feel you pain :|


----------



## Glass Child

"_Stop crying, stop whining about the pain, there's nothing we're going to change about the situation. You're going to be miserable and in constant physical pain all day and you're going to accept it. This is your time to suffer, suck it up and deal with it._"

Never forgetting that one. Also, just for the record, it turned out there was an easier way to handle everything, and I had to persuade them to stop future months worth of constant problems.


----------



## ratbag

My dad called me a zombie, among other things.


----------



## Schmosby

Arials said:


> Has your mum been diagnosed for a mental illness?


No she hasn't, I think she's just a nasty person, she's always been an alchoholic, she's always been very abusive towards her boyfriends too, she mentally abuses them and if she thinks she can get away with it physically abuses them too, then when she finally gets them to lash out at her, she then spends years telling everybody (and i do mean everybody, milkman, delivery men, cab drivers) how she was 'attacked' and she's scared to answer the door or leavr the house etc and how much she hates them and this continues until she manages to find the next poor guy to terrorise.


----------



## Schmosby

Arials said:


> That sucks your mum is like that.


Yea it's a lose lose situation, luckily she's getting quite old now and relies on me for day to day help, so she actually behaves pretty reasonably towards me on the whole at the moment.


----------



## alwaysquiet

My father was verbally and mentally abusive to me as a child. He was also an alcoholic. He would call me the most filthy degrading names that you could ever think of.


----------



## Britt Britt

My dad has called me 'useless', 'nothing', 'a quitter.'

A few years back I told my mom I was entertaining the thought of taking an acting class to help me with shyness. She said it was a waste of time, why bother it's not going to help me. I need a job. Pretty much made me cry. A couple years later, she comes up with a bright idea. Maybe I should take a speech or acting class to help me. :no


----------



## hdth

my mom "what kind of loser am I dealing with"
"i dont think you will make it through the marines, they call it a few good men for a reason"
****en wow, just 60 minutes ago too, no wonder my dad divorced her what a *****. Even my own mum doesnt believe in me.


----------



## hnstlylonelyaf

"You always look like you're having a never ending period" - my older brother (sorry if it's not from my parents)


----------



## Isobel21

Well, my mother once told me, "You need to use the little bit of talent that you DO have..." Can anyone see the problem with this?
And when she gets mad with me, she'll use my emotional problems and mental issues to cut me deep. But the sick part about it is, the next day she'll be all nice to me, like two different people. I could go on but...that's depressing.


----------



## Isobel21

handsup said:


> "Allah will burn you in hell, because you are not religious, you have to pray 5 times a day"
> 
> "You are just an idiot who has SA, you are not a normal person"


I find that religious people are the most judgmental, and this is coming from a Christian. The true idiots are those who can't empathize with others. And it's ok NOT being normal, who wants to be normal anyway.


----------



## Isobel21

PandaBearx said:


> "I wish you had cancer or AIDS"
> 
> Lovely. Granted it was said in the heat of the moment, and I don't think she really meant it. But still ugly.


Wow, that's a very childish thing to say.:roll


----------



## Isobel21

feems99 said:


> my mother once asked me to have sex with her


Is your mother mentally stable?


----------



## scorch428

dt192 said:


> My mum has often said she wishes that i was dead, that i was an unwanted mistake, that she hates me, she used to say she would get social services to take me away (still got my fingers crossed for this one), she's been abusive towards the few girlfriends i brought home, she has always made out that my brother is better even though he doesn't like her and does mothing for her, she's told the one female friend that came home that she was a prostitute and should stay away, she told a guy friend I was a pedophile and racist, she left me homeless when i was 15, she just tries to keep me unhappy if possible, she claims she hates me because I'm my dad's child lol nice logic there, I think the issue is that she's a bad person.


Jesus...that's awful. Totally *****ed up. Although, I've said some pretty harsh things that I didn't mean sometimes when I have too much to drink. Does she say this stuff while sober too? Maybe you should try to get help with her alcoholism, if she only acts this way while drunk.


----------



## scorch428

This is officially the most depressing thread ever.


----------



## Schmosby

scorch428 said:


> Jesus...that's awful. Totally *****ed up. Although, I've said some pretty harsh things that I didn't mean sometimes when I have too much to drink. Does she say this stuff while sober too? Maybe you should try to get help with her alcoholism, if she only acts this way while drunk.


She's been into rehab twice, she doesn't want to quit drinking, she's content with drinking herself to death, she doesn't drink so much now as she can't afford it and as she is old and Ill I look after her, as she depends on me she's a lot nicer now.


----------



## PandaBearx

:group to the ppls here.


----------



## scorch428

PandaBearx said:


> :group to the ppls here.


Although this thread is depressing, it does feel good to get some of this stuff of your chests. Also to realize that we are not alone.

Love you guys

:hug

:kiss

:cuddle


----------



## zraktor

You're my everything.



She said that after lots of insults and sarcasms.


----------



## Isobel21

Segafage said:


> My mom has once told me _"I wish I had an abortion with you"_ - this was brought on because *she *was stressed over me in and out of the hospital due the physical health issues I was having, and I was going through Agoraphobia and was hard for me to leave the house.
> 
> "No one even likes you that is why you had to drop out of school and finish online". - This was during one of my fights with my mom.
> 
> My dad.... "You treat me like an emotional robot" (Because I avoid due to anxiety going out to eat).
> 
> My dad has mocked my anxiety and eating in-front of people after I confided in him..... In front of everyone (KNOWING I don't like eating in front of people)
> 
> "So, are you going to eat your food Kay, or are you going to be all *scared* to eat in front of people... yeah we are all scarey" (Very sarcastically. )
> 
> :roll


Please don't get offended if I say that your dad is a POS! How dare he make fun of your problems. Just because he may find them trivial or not understand it himself doesn't mean that they aren't REAL problems. Why would anyone ever want to humiliate another?! I swear people just don't understand how it feels to have SA. This is my worst fear, confiding in someone, only to have them turn around and throw it in my face. And I'm sorry, I know we all can become immature amidst an argument but your mother takes the cake.

I also had a problem eating in front of people...it started in middle school. I would eat in the bathroom, or during lunch I'd just go to the library and read fashion magazines. Lunch time meant social interactions, hanging out with friends, and I didn't have any and didn't want to look stupid sitting alone, eating by myself. Sometimes a group of people would invite me over to their table, but after a while I felt like a charity case.

There were times where I wouldn't leave my house for months. I was so miserable and my parents didn't understand it. They didn't even try to understand it, and their belittling of me would make me feel even more insecure. I had to get away from them. Luckily I did.


----------



## scorch428

Isobel21 said:


> Please don't get offended if I say that your dad is a POS! How dare he make fun of your problems. Just because he may find them trivial or not understand it himself doesn't mean that they aren't REAL problems. Why would anyone ever want to humiliate another?! I swear people just don't understand how it feels to have SA. This is my worst fear, confiding in someone, only to have them turn around and throw it in my face. And I'm sorry, I know we all can become immature amidst an argument but your mother takes the cake.


:agree


----------



## cataclysm

Ughh, lots of things. But never mentioned ugly which pisses me off ffs.


----------



## Peyote

"Why can't you be normal and socialize?" I don't blame them though.


----------



## planet x

It would be nice if they just said things to me. Would have spared me a bunch of physical abuse and mental trauma.


----------



## Lila11

"Put lettuce in your sandwich"

 hahaha


----------



## Lila11

baa baa black sheep


----------



## Lila11

planet x said:


> It would be nice if they just said things to me. Would have spared me a bunch of physical abuse and mental trauma.


Agreed.. I got into an abusive and damaging relationship at a young age, i believe that if i'd of known what a loving environment was then i'd of known what i was worth ... Maybe..


----------



## BattyOldMaid

Ahh! My mother used to spew vitriol about how she wished she had aborted me and other crap. One day she followed me upstairs spouting out how she hated me, filled with venom how she wished I had never been born. At that pivotalmoment where she raised her hand to slap my face - I snapped.

Looming over her, in a low voice (i now realise sounded menancing but at the time I had no idea), I said "you hit me once, I'll punch you right back. Yes, you should have aborted me, but you didn't, thats not my fault, I wasn't even born. You wish I never was born? Me too, but I didn't force you to create me, your choice you live with it. I tellyou again, hit me I'll punch you harder than you give".

Fast forward 24 years, we get on ok. She spouts the same sorry vitriol about her grandchildren (my brothers, she never dared to speak ill towards me or mine since that day), I stop her in her tracks by saying 'abortion?? 16 years too late get over it'.

She is very petty, manipulative and insecure - thats her problem not mine. 

I wish all parents were vetted before procreating, I got thoroughly vetting before atopting my cats to prove I was capable and responsible enough to care for cats and it amazes me that my selfish, me me me me, inconsiderate, argumentive, bullying antmanipulaive parents had three children who suffered in their hands!


----------



## scaliesmark

Good god, where do I begin? 

Trigger Warning- child abuse, sexual assault

Mom: "Your dad (stepdad) should've killed you" - a few days after my abusive POS stepdad threw me down a flight of stairs, 
"You deserved to be molested"- about a year after I opened up to her about the fact that my father molested me when I was 11, 
"You wash my mom off yet?"- the day after she went on a drunken bender & threw my grandmother's ashes on me, 
"You're just like your father" any time I piss her off.

Stepdad: "I should've beaten you more"- Really, he put me through walls, threw me across the room multiple times & repeatedly choked me out, but that wasn't enough?
"I beat you because I care"- Yeah, Bull****, ypou did it because you have no self-control.
"You're gonna end up a rapist just like your father"

Yeah, my parents are real scumbags.


----------



## EverythingWBA

Dad: 
You have nothing important to say.

I love you because you're my daughter. But I don't like you. And I don't have to like you.

I'm telling you this because it's my job as your dad and if you keep being like this no one's going to like you.

Shut up.

Stop asking questions, I don't like that.

You're so rude...

Ask questions, the stupid ones you don't ask.

What do you know? Nothing.

Mom: 
Get out of my house.

I don't care what happens, you can't stay here.

I didn't need to have you. I was fine with your brother.

You don't have any common sense.

I'm not doing anything for you anymore. No food, no medicine, nothing. If you won't be part of this family and do what I say then I'm not giving you nothing.

my mom's been saying this stuff lately and I'm really depressed now and my dad's just been like that my whole life...so somehow it doesn't bother me as much anymore.


----------



## jlscho03

My mom is great, but my dad, not as much...
Might seem minor compared to others here, but:

"You're so stupid. I can't believe that you went to college and don't know this! I can't believe that my own daughter is this stupid!" 

Might I add, I had one simple question. "If you have any questions, just ask." "Okay, how do I do this?" "You are the stupidest person ever. I'm so ashamed." Yes, thankfully I am not as much of a hypocrite as my dad.

That's the worst, but others are:
"How was your day?" I Start to talk about day. "You know what? I don't care. No one cares." Um, you asked...

Me: "Nearly got hit by a car today." "That's life." 

Now, I know he cares, really, really deep down, but my dad has not one ounce of compassion in him.

I tend to not talk to him, but sometimes he just weasels stuff out of me (yeah, I am desperate for ANY social interaction).

He has never wished any harm on me, wished I wasn't alive or never born, so I guess I got it better than others here (sorry for those of you that have to put up with that).


----------



## harrypotterr

When I told my family I wanted to go to film school to become a movie director they said ' be realistic! you never gonna fulfill that dream '. However, i think they said it so that i would choose a safer career path, But it was it had terrible blow to my self esteem.

Here is a quote from Spike Lee: 'It has been my observation that parents kill more dreams than anybody'


----------



## Hekate

My dad said a lot of ****ed up things to me when I was a child. He wasn't around much, but when he was it was hell. He called me an inconsiderate bit** when I was 8 because I really needed to go to the bathroom and wanted him to stop at a gas station. He was really trashed one night when I was a teenager and said something along the lines of me having a big jew nose. 

There's a lot more, but I'll just leave it at that.


----------



## SilentLie

Well...just a few seconds ago my mother said this: "You are nothing, but a f***ing failure. I don't even know why I bother talking to you.... Why can't you get a job? Are you that stupid? Can't you write or something? There are plenty of jobs even you could do with your f***ed up brain... Go the f*** out and do something. Life is not about living with your f***ing head in the clouds all the time!! Look at me! I was working and having kids at your age! Why can't you be the same? Why are you always the one causing troubles? And now...you are looking at me like I'm some kind of monster. Why are you doing this?" ....After a "defeated" sigh, she said: "You are lazy, you are stupid, you have panic attacks, you are depressed........Why can't you be happy? Why in the world did I give birth to you in the first place? You make my life a living nightmare....We would be better off without you....."
And my father was just nodding along.

Right now I think....Hmmm. I don't know. It hurt. Actually it hurt really bad. I kinda feel like my heart is being stabbed even now. I still have trouble talking about emotions, but this....I'm sure this is pain and betrayal. But then again...? What did I expect? I can't feel happy and I can't get a job. I always feel empty. I am indeed a failure.


----------



## boas

Mother: "Sometimes I worry it might be my fault... the way you are"

Couple of weeks later...

Father: "Your mum seems to think I'm to blame for the way you've turned out"

When I was 18, I was with my dad and my sister's boyfriend at a pub, and I turned down the offer of a beer in favour of a non alcoholic drink. My dad proceeded to mock me then said to my sister's boyfriend "that's my son!" as though to express his shame. 

It's kind of galling that they treat you like **** your whole life and yet it's them who reject who you are - talk about having your cake and eating it too.


----------



## martin123

My Dad has said, "Don't blame me for the way you've turned out" and my Mum has said, "Lighten up and get over [your SA]"

Basically a general ignorance of what I have to cope with on a daily basis but hey I can't be something I'm not. It still hurts though, I mean deeply hurts to know that the two people in my life who should love you unconditionally do not. Sometimes I wish they could literally see the world through my eyes, just for a day, so that they could finally back off and encourage me with my SA struggles :sus


----------



## starslight812

"I hate you", and once my mom chased me with hedge clippers "to scare me". I had my back against my broken door for 10 minutes. That was like 10 years ago and it still scares me haha, she got me good. Also, that story is told as a joke around my family at gatherings. Not cool.


----------



## Ms Yesterday

So I read this article online > http://m.wisegeek.com/what-are-the-signs-of-a-narcissistic-mother.htm and it's basically hit my Mother spot on. 
My Mother will never recognize it though, I think my only solution to stay mentally sound is to move out ASAP, which is hard enough without having social anxiety as a poor student. 
Sigh. Stay strong everyone.


----------



## TheGuyThatUsedToFly

she said to me: 'Thats it im calling the police!' and then i said WTF why? and to my suprise she said 'infact i called them already!! theyre on theyre way now!'

worst moments of my life


----------



## RadiguetVyram

Being less than half a year off from being a Father, put thinking about the crap I had to hear as a child in perspective. 

My mom and grandmother (they raised me in lieu of actually having a father figure, apparently he was a drug dealer and so they kicked him out, Mom won't talk about it, and the clock's ticking, she's in her 50s) used to spend a good portion of the day drilling life lessons into me that, as it turns out, were a how-to of Social Anxiety, enjoy:

"Don't trust anybody, they're only out to hurt you" was more or less Mom's parting words to me for Kindergarten. 

"The teachers and principals are obviously meeting in secret to plan how they can pick on you for the next year" was what I'd hear at least once a year (though in her defense, I actually WAS often called to the office for stuff other people did, that I had the unfortunate luck to be standing near). 

"Your voice carries, everyone can hear you", I've got a deep voice (even when I was a kid) and apparently I wasn't supposed to talk, because ya know, people could hear me.

"You always keep things in, that's why I pick on you" That's my Mom's solution to childhood trauma, force me to scream it out after hours of being picked on. Then she has that damn smug grin about how great an idea it is.

So, thanks parents , I spent nearly every recess hiding off school grounds (only in retrospect do I realize how dangerous that was) bawling my face off and being terrified to talk to anybody. 

And that's when things got creepy!

After my Social Anxiety Indoctrination was set, they proceeded to throw all common sense out the window and actively ENCOURAGE my antisociality. They'd force me to get terrible haircuts, wear stupid clothes to school, and laugh when I'd come home telling them they'd dressed me up like a girl (a denim encrusted, poofy haired 1980's girl!). "Those kids don't know what they're talking about, you look ADORABLE!" (yes, that's what every 10 year old boy wants to hear) all the while telling me how superior I was to other kids so that I'd be an arrogant douche all day long at school I imagine.

Imagine Napoleon Dynamite, only with a massive superiority complex, that's what they created.

THEY MADE ME DRESS AS A LEPRECHAUN FOR ST. PATRICK'S DAY! EVERY GODDAMN YEAR!

Only in the last few years did it occur to me that Mom only wanted me as a housepet, since I've hit puberty several decades ago we barely speak.

But the worst part.. the WORST PART is she has the nerve to say "I did the best I can, and I wish you'd stop blaming me for all this!"

Yep, I'm an unemployed, disability handout receiving, college dropout with no prospects, friends, hobbies, skills, or anything else of value to society, thanks for the support Mother.

Geeze.. anyway back to Fatherhood: Now that I'm about to have a kid I'm on the other side - "What do I do if my kid has Social Anxiety?" Assuming I haven't already broken the poor thing in utero just due to my proximity. They'll already have to live with a depressed Father who is incapable of going outside to do normal stuff like acquire friends and a job. And every day I'll have to second guess every parenting decision I make in case they end up talking about it to a Social Anxiety Forum of their own in x-teen years time.

It's usually at this point - realizing how bad things really are - that I say "eff it" and go to bed, again... it's 1:30 pm :no


----------



## RadiguetVyram

Actually, I may not have been clear about the worst part: Praise.

Up til I was 10 I was showered with praise, I could draw and read and answer Jeopardy questions and got high marks in school. Then I turned the corner and as the illness took hold, the praise turned to disappointment, every day hearing about how bad I was doing. The withering gaze of my Grandmother as she dismissed my 98% as being 2% wrong.. I still remember every detail of those days. They never tried to help, and I'm forced to conclude that they didn't want to.


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## RadiguetVyram

Also

"You can do anything you want" coupled with "You don't have to do anything you don't want to"

Lessons that didn't pan out well in adulthood, it turns out that if I WANT to do something (be successful) I have to do something I don't want to (work hard).

Thanks for being confusing family. I will NEVER use those two lines together, or even within one sentence of each other.

Things might've turned out differently if she'd said "As long as you work hard" instead.


----------



## RedViperofDorne

My mother has told me on multiple occasions that she regrets that I was born. She hasn't apologised for that. That used to sting quite a bit, but it doesn't bother me very much now.


----------



## aqwsderf

When my mom has gotten real angry she's called me a piece of ****, good for nothing. Has cried out "lord why have you punished me with such a daughter" has wished I lived away and that my brother lived near. However she blurts these things out in fits of rage and if I tell her about it later she honestly doesn't recall it happening. Brushes it off like it's nothing. And says "nah it means nothing".


----------



## Azul91

My dad told me I was useless once.


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## joked35

My parents used to tell me to enjoy school because working is terrible in comparison. **** that. I love working. School sucks and I am glad that I'm just about done with it. I will never look back on it.


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## Draconess25

"If you're so smart, get a ****ing job or go to school. Stop sitting on your *** treating everyone like they're retarded."

"You could've done better."

"You're problem isn't that I beat you, I didn't beat you ENOUGH."

"You don't love me. You don't care about anyone but yourself."

"You're no better than him." "Him" being the man who got her knocked up twice, was in prison when her first son was born, went to prison again for attempted murder when her second son was a baby, stabbed her, locked her in the basement, and beat her and her mother. I'm worse than all that.

"Your brothers were never like this."

"I thought you'd turn out better than this."

"Get over it. You have no reason to be depressed."

"You're going to Hell for that."

"You'll probably beat me when I'm old."

"You're brother is dead because of you."

"You *****-eating lesbian *****!" For the record, I'm bi, not a lesbian.

"You think you're so special."

"You only wet the bed because you're lazy."

"If you wet the bed tonight, you aren't getting (Thanksgiving) dinner tomorrow." She denied she said it the next morning.

My mom is bipolar too. And when I tell her how bad she is, she totally denies it. Everything I feel is "bull****". She can do no wrong, and when guilt finally does hit her, she talks about suicide.


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## Draconess25

Oh, and "It's your fault they pick on you. You give them a reason to by (insert reason here)."


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## Kallandra

Whenever I have trouble making myself heard, it's always "speak up!" and "there's no reason to be shy." 
My father's fond of telling me how he was shy "like me" at my age, and he went to some seminar where you had to give speeches, both prepared and on-the-fly, to the group, and how he just got out and talked to people, and if I did that more I'd not be so quiet. Like it's my fault and if I really cared about being more outgoing I'd work at it.


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## Ms Yesterday

Kallandra said:


> Whenever I have trouble making myself heard, it's always "speak up!" and "there's no reason to be shy."
> My father's fond of telling me how he was shy "like me" at my age, and he went to some seminar where you had to give speeches, both prepared and on-the-fly, to the group, and how he just got out and talked to people, and if I did that more I'd not be so quiet. Like it's my fault and if I really cared about being more outgoing I'd work at it.


I've got family members like that, I once started feeling really panicky in a crowded place and all my Mother could say is "why the hell is wrong with you?" If people can't even slightly understand they shouldn't act like their advice is worth something.


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## jimmysheva

i was in high school and there was a korean girl that i had a crush on but she already had a boyfriend (who already graduated by that time). we took the same classes and worked on some assignments together so i was a bit depressed at that time. i told one friend about my feelings but for some reason the word spread and my mom heard it.

and what did she do?

she scolded me. she said i embarrassed her by chasing after a girl who already had a boyfriend. that made me even more depressed.


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## Justlittleme

I wish you died. my mom says this to me (like twice for no Goddamn reason, she just doesn't get me and how good of a daughter I TRULY am), she's has some personality disorders.

When I tell her you never even tried to get to know me, she says yeah because I don't want to know you. Nobody does, (really though, it's just her sadly who would never want to know about my story... ah well). Some souls die like mine will.

Okay she's been verbally abusive ever since I was 8 years old I would say.

My mom was soooooooo mad she said "i wish i aborted you when your ******* father was beating me up when I was pregnant with you", she said this and kicked me when I was sleeping with her. I just weeped and thought, why God me of all ppl. But that's only me always, and the first time she was rude she told me I am dead to her. She has used every curse word, every form of bullying. I still love her somehow cause she sacrificed everything for me. She wasn't nice, never even got to know me once though. Well, I won't do that to my future kids, atleast my life will be better because of my mother..................... she's all I got. My father was a weak weak man, he left us, but he was a good man. (killed himself with food, alcohol) Even if he would've beat us up, it's okay because he loved us immensely. My mom has no friends and trusts no one but is very smart. Well, majority of the time... other times I worry.


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## Justlittleme

Paloma M said:


> I am going to throw you out on the streets so the dogs will come and eat you. That's what my dad told me when I didn't know how to solve a math problem. I was about 12 years old.


Oh man that is so bad, and you look like a pretty cool chick.... sorry that happened. I can relate my mom does **** like this too over MATH, like don't you get it my mind is a bit different. She'll never get it though.


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## jimmysheva

wow, you guys have some messed up parents


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## Magoichi

Dad-
"You'll never be anything in your life."
"You're useless"
"Your mom's a b%*#$ and you're no better."
"You're too stupid."
(In regards to my religious beliefs)"You're not humble enough. You never will be. You're definitely going to hell."
"Why can't you be like -insert someone here-"
"If -blank- can do it why can't you?"
"Get out of my house, you're no child of mine." (So I left LOL)
"You're so selfish, you only care about yourself."
"You will never understand anything."
"You are nothing but a disgrace and an embarrassment."

Mom-
"Why don't you love me?"
"(laughs) You don't know what stress is."
"Why can't you ever do anything for me?" (I lived my entire life up to being 16 doing EVERYTHING I was told by my parents, and it hurt me to know that she couldn't see that.)
"I only have one daughter and she doesn't care about me at all."

And every criticism you can think of about grades, hair skin, clothes, friends, etc. 

I haven't forgotten any of it, but what can you do? Just gotta learn to live with it. Sorry to hear you guys had to put up with all that. Some really messed up things on this thread said by parents.....


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## futurenot

I don't mean to kick the proverbial dead horse but...

Multiple times, whenever me and my dad get into a fight about my SA and why I insist on being so sensitive and cutting myself and having suicidal thoughts over _stupid things_, he always ends with: "You are gonna be the reason your mum and I end up dead!"

Thanks for the loving refrain dad.


----------



## twilightmoon

This is what my dad says to me occasionally. Every time he says it, I literally just feel like I should just jump off my roof or something: 

"Why can't you just grow up? Stop being so afraid! How many years old do you think you are now??"

And what he used to say when I was a child:

"You are being ridiculous!"

"There is absolutely NO ONE else in the world who acts like you do."

And my mom with the guilt trip route... kind of unrelated to SA, but once she said to me: 

"I do so much for this family (  ) and you choose your own dog over me?" 
(This is after I got super UBER pissed at her for repeatedly hitting my dog. I don't care how much financial support she does for the family. Her being wrong doesn't give her the right to use that guilt **** against me like her owe her **** and should just keep my mouth shut.)


----------



## bewilderedminerals

Probably a toss-up between "Look in the ****ing mirror!" and "I'm going to kill myself"


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## beffa

fat


----------



## ScottyKnows

Dad: "You're not worth two dead flies."

Mom: "I'm going to kill myself" * 10000

Sister: "***" * 10000


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## pork

"You're behind other kids your age, mature-wise, emotionally, and intellectually."


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## Paperlily

"Why don't you go cut yourself." 
At the age of 14.


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## haggybear

My dad asked if I was gay because I never had any girlfriends. This was about 3-4 years ago. Funny thing was that about a year or two after that I finally started seeing a girl who I proceeded to bring to my room to "hang out".  Still hasn't helped with my nervousness around girls though. :/


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## crimeclub

"I wish your useless existence was never born"

Just kidding. My mom once called me a little s*** when I was about 15.


----------



## Euneirophrenia

My mum once said to me, "You're a selfish little *****. No wonder nobody likes you." That hurt..


----------



## Shack

My mom has...

- Called me diseased

- Told me I'm going to be alone my whole life, or told me if I don't smarten up the only girls I'll get are fat ones with glasses

- Asked me why I don't try harder to be normal and why I always want to be different, huh

- Accused me of being gay because I don't try to get a GF


----------



## Wanderlust89

I can't really narrow it down. I just remember how my mom made it a mission to destroy my confidence when I was a teenager and she succeeded. Almost daily, she would make fun of something about my appearance, mostly my acne and weight gain.

Well my appearance has improved now but I am still ridiculously self-conscious. Every time I talk to a stranger I always wonder how I look like to them and if they're laughing in their head.


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## boxofcereal

I love my mom but she's never satisfied with what I do. After my gr.12 award ceremony where I recieved 3 awards for being the top of the class (math, chem, history), on the way home, she reminded me that I only got a B in my English final so I wasn't good enough. Recently I got into a very competitive professional school but took I guess 2 more yrs than the fastest route. She tells me whenever the subject comes up that If I actually worked hard I wouldn't have wasted 2 years. That it's because I'm so lazy that I didn't get in the first time I tried. She also told me before that if someone like me could get into the school everyone competing for the school must be f****** stupid.


----------



## xRoh

My mum admitted my sister was the favourite out of the two of us.

Feels ****ty even when your own mother rejects you.


----------



## Ryan90

-Loser.

-I'm getting rid of you.

-You piece of ****.

Not the things you want to hear from your mother


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## VirtualReality

" I'm sick and tired of you not doing anything in this house, you can't even walk the dog anymore because of your anxiety. You're useless. Go live with you dad" I do a bunch of chores everyday I feel like mr Cinderella sometimes. Like I'm just there to be used not loved or appreciated

Then when I went on venlafaxine I gained weight and my mom called me fat and tried to have a serious talk with me about losing weight. I'm skinny fat and not even close to overweight.


----------



## Keekz

That I was adopted, that I'm a retard, that i'm a psycho, that i'll never get a boyfriend or have a family, that im a loser with no friends. Its sad but most of what my sister has said to me over the years has become true.


----------



## Thanatar18

Age of 11- my mom literally threatened that if my siblings and I didn't obey her every word, I'd be sent to foster care and would never see them again...
But it has a happy ending, where I in the end got fed up, she tried to follow her promise, and I ended up at my dad's..


----------



## Melodies0fLife

When I was little (maybe 5 years old), this one night when my sister (who was in high school at the time) was out late, my parents changed locks to prevent her from going back home. Then they went to me and told me that if my sister knocked on the door or window of my bedroom, I was to ignore her and don't let her in. I was freaking 5 years old at the time!! It's not right to pin siblings against each other, let alone tell a baby to do that!! I was in pain; in actual agony. I remember that night vividly; it was definitely traumatic for me since I can still remember it to this day. She knocked on my window, was crying and pleaded for me to let her in but I couldn't because mom and dad told me not to. All I did was just stand there and cry and shake my head and ask her for forgiveness. By midnight, I was crying my eyes out really bad so I went to my parents and told them no more, to stop. That was the most cruel thing they have said to my face... to talk **** about my own siblings and tell me to ignore them. Of course they beat her after they let her in. This family is so dysfunctional; no wonder my sister ended up getting pregnant early anyways and I turned out this way. :no


----------



## Tucknutz

I'll never forget what my dad said to me after I came out to him.

"So you're telling me my son likes it up the ***!? My son likes putting dick in his mouth?! That he's not going to get me any grandchildren?!"

I bawled like a baby, I couldn't believe my biggest supporter said something so cold and hateful.


----------



## Ms Yesterday

VirtualReality said:


> " I'm sick and tired of you not doing anything in this house, you can't even walk the dog anymore because of your anxiety. You're useless. Go live with you dad" I do a bunch of chores everyday I feel like mr Cinderella sometimes. Like I'm just there to be used not loved or appreciated
> 
> Then when I went on venlafaxine I gained weight and my mom called me fat and tried to have a serious talk with me about losing weight. I'm skinny fat and not even close to overweight.


I gained a bit of weight after the holidays and these days I can't have a conversation with my Mum without her making some comment about my diet, exercise, etc. The fact that she is fully aware of my anxiety and does it anyway irritates me so much.


----------



## Junimoon11

"You're not nearly as talented as your sisters, can't you just be good at something?"

...that still hurts...


----------



## Klause

"Like father like son." - Father(he is a loser in life)

"Why does she even bother with you?" - Father(about my mother)

"Yea that sounds interesting, I have to go now" -Father(while I'm speaking about school finances)

"You think I work during my holidays so you can go to school and fail? They day you fail uni is the day of your reckoning." - Mother

"You are just like your father. Get out of my sight" - Mother


----------



## housebunny

_"Well if that's who you are, I think it's best we don't spend time together anymore."_ I just felt nauseated remembering it.


----------



## W A N D E R L U S T

"When you get a husband he will treat you badly and leave you for his other family (mum, dad, sisters, brothers). He will pick them over you and you'll just come crying back to me and say I was right!" - This was mum ranting on about dad when I was 5-9 because dad went to visit family for their birthdays but mum didn't like them so my dad and sister's went while I stayed home with mum ONLY because I didn't want her to be alone. Come on! I was just a kid! I just wanted to play with my lego and barbies! I wanted to see my cousins! You don't say that to kids!

"You should put a bit of make up on so when the boys see you, they think, ooh who's that girl!" - Then like 5 minutes later I realised dad just called me ugly... I think I was 12?

Then they always compare me to my two really outgoing and pretty sisters. Although I don't really think mine are as bad as some people's that I've read...


----------



## Marko3

well my mum said. .. shes ashamed of me... and that was it for me... i cut u off!


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## jesse93

not my parents, but my sister once told me I'm exactly like my dad, and I will be exactly like him when I grow up.

It may not sound so bad, but my dad was physically and mentally abusive, a liar, a druggy, a terrible father, one of my worst fears is becoming my father, so it really tore me up inside when she said that to me.


----------



## forgetfulnessextreme

My mom's called me a lot of stuff, but for some reason it hurt the most when she said, "Do you give a s*** about other people?" and, "Are you a lesbian?" Maybe because those hit too close to home?


----------



## AnotherGuy

Hey all- I wanted to add to this yesterday but my computer was all wonky.

I have two examples, although they aren't hurtful (to ME anyway). They are actually a little bit funny because of how weird they are.

My first one is about how when I was a little kid, I was a HUGE clown. I was a really wacky and funny kid, like a living cartoon character. Anyhow, since I was really animated and a fan of physical comedy. 

Anyhow, when my parents would get fed up with me or I became too much to deal with, instead of just scolding me or something like normal people, they would call me a pretty vulgar slur for a gay person. haha! I laugh NOW because of how ludicrous it is to say that to a content and laughing kid (more like a nervous smirk). I was by no means effeminate in any way, shape, or form at all. There was nothing "gay" or feminine about me or the way I acted or joked around. My only guess is that they wanted to shame me into NOT being comical or something. They would just tell me that I'd grow up to be gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I just wasn't/am not gay. It just always stuck in my mind that this was a really weird way to deal with a seemingly happy kid who loved to make people laugh.

Anyway, after a while I sort of started keeping to myself growing up and began to become introverted because I just didn't want to be humiliated by being called something that I was not. In many ways I feel like that contributed to me losing my fun side.

*the second thing I wanted to share actually happened recently. This is another one of those things that I'm not angry or upset about, but instead I find funny because of the sheer outrageous nature of a surreal situation.
I'm 29, but less than a year ago my mother told me that I was going to be aborted haha!!! She didn't say it in anger or anything! She meant it just kind of telling me a story about how I came along. She was telling me how my old man kind of talked her out of it and instead went baby clothes shopping with her the day of the appointment as they missed their scheduled time. 

I laugh, but the whole time I was thinking to myself "I'm 29. You got away with that story for so long, why would you share that NOW? Especially at a time in my life when I feel the walls crumbling in on me." 

Haha!!! Anyhow, I just wanted to share my 2 stories. Take care all.


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## kerberos

"You're disgusting and i'm ashamed to be seen with you"

My mom disliked something i decided to do with my appearance and I've never had a worse argument with her. I just mentioned it in passing and thought she'd be ok with it. Incidentally this is where i found out that when she feels like she's losing an argument she starts to just make things up. I don't argue much with her anymore, it's not worth it and i'd get more out of trying to convince a rock.
My mom is usually pretty great and i lover her so it really hurt a lot when she said this to me. She never apologized either, she just kind or brought it up every now and then for a couple of weeks or looked at me very pointedly like "you know what you've done and you need to stop" and then she just ignored that the entire argument ever happened.


----------



## Happiness87

Klause said:


> "Like father like son." - Father(he is a loser in life)
> 
> "Why does she even bother with you?" - Father(about my mother)
> 
> "Yea that sounds interesting, I have to go now" -Father(while I'm speaking about school finances)
> 
> "You think I work during my holidays so you can go to school and fail? They day you fail uni is the day of your reckoning." - Mother
> 
> "You are just like your father. Get out of my sight" - Mother


That looks like a bad sitcom lol.Sorry for laughing but


----------



## PixLAnxiety

"I've lost faith in you". Or "I feel like punching you in your @#$%ing face!". Both made me wanna die, and both are school related.


----------



## Zashlin

"Go to hell"
"Kill yourself"
"I hate you"

But it was me who said mean things first so I probably deserved it lol


----------



## aquariusrising

Too much. Wish I could remember and list them all. Can't remember anything from my mother.
She says so many hurtful things... I just can't remember them all. But she has said "you're just like your father!"

One thing I can remember on hand from other people...

"You look just like your father!" Which is such a complete insult. 
I wasn't overweight as much as I am now, but I was a bit overweight when the person said it. He is a very obese, evil, ugly and horrible person. 

Plus other numerous nasty comments about my weight all my life.

I've been called all names, useless, fat, gay (I'm not gay, they just used it as an insult to be mean and also hanging with a girl they thought I was gay with), ******, tart (shame on them never even had sex!), and things like "she doesn't like you!"( which was the truth), show off and things like that. I wasn't a show off at all and completely kept to myself
Plus so many others my heart must've blocked out

The evil looks were most of it though


----------



## Slytherclaw

My mom: "You are not my daughter." This was when I was going through a really rough time. I was trapped in a verbally/emotionally abusive relationship and, in my mind, I was trying to make the best of it by conforming to what he wanted.

My dad, while on drugs, said something like this: "Would you be proud of me if, in about 6 months from now, I sacrificed myself for a revolution?" He said that to me when I was 15. I definitely took it as a suicide thing, and I cried for hours.


----------



## nonethemore

Go ahead and kill yourself (in another language).


----------



## Sun Burst

When I was suicidal, I heard a response: go kill yourself if you want.


----------



## skah

my mum and brother also live with forms of anxiety. when im with my family ive always been okay, because its just the four of us and ive always been safe with them, plus now i live mostly in another city to them so they dont see how affected i am with my own anxiety, i wouldnt be surprised if they dont know i have it at all. 

a few days after my brothers last panic attack my mum took me aside and told me that i would never understand what it was like to feel like that, there was no way i could comprehend what its like to go through that. she said that any help i offered was useless, i would just make him worse by 'flaunting' my lack of anxiety around him, it was like i was from another family because i didnt have the same problems and that this was why she felt closer to my brother because they actually understood each other.


----------



## Mrpopular1989

'You've got no friends!!!'

you're a disappointment!


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## rilakkuma

"Maybe your friend doesn't want you in her wedding because you're mentally ill and she see you are crazy" - My dad this morning

Then he proceeds to say, "Go to the wedding and you stand up in her face and you prove to her you ain't crazy! Then later talking about her or [dog] her online or Facebook or whatever!"

So he berates me for having depression and assuming that my friend doesn't want to be bothered with me because of it (because she was at my brother's wedding three years ago and I had an emotional breakdown during the wedding weekend after returning from Asia) but in the SAME BREATH encourages me to go and try to ruin her wedding day?

I'm no psychiatrist but it is possible for adults to develop bipolar disorder or personality disorders later in life? I think my dad suffers from severe Narcissistic Personality Disorder and control issues.


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## knight1985

I have lost count of things iv been said by my mom


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## Thedriftingdaisy

*Raised by Mom's side*

The worst things I was told as a child were:

My first stepdad told me "Don't ask a stupid question!"- when I asked a sincere question as a 6-year-old. Not intending to be patronizing, I was confused and hurt and afraid to ask any questions, considering they might be deemed as "stupid."

My aunt tried to commit suicide on pills when I was 8 years old and she was baby-sitting me while my mother was at night classes. My aunt explained to me that she was going to go to sleep and never wake up as I sat crying silently hiding behind the covers while Lifetime blared on the tv in the background.

The same aunt while babysitting (mom still at night classes) told me a year later, "You ruin everything!" As she ran in her room and slammed her door. I had been dipping my fingers in the warm wax of a candle- by no means damaging the candle or making a mess. Being a child whose father was not in the picture, who's mother had only been married to her stepdad for 2 years before divorce, and who's mother treated her more like an obligation than her offspring I felt like my aunt was right. I have ruined my moms life.

The running theme of my life lead me to see myself as a nuisance and I lived in fear of that every day. I became very introverted in elementary school and depressed by middle school. My mom told me I didn't make friends because I didn't smile, but I didn't have it in me to smile anymore. By high school I was on a prescription cocktail of anti-anxiety, anti depression, and sleeping pills. I became anorexic because it felt good to feel in control of something and the hunger pains felt like penance or cleansing I suppose.

First stepdad (me age 2-7) was an alcoholic and a cheater, second stepdad (me age 9-present) was an alcoholic and a meth-addict, who is now 10 yrs clean. My mom was so insecure she always needed a man in her life and she never hid her emotions about them or her finances from me. We lived with my grandparents several times (me age 0-1,3-5,13 & 15) we lived with 2 different aunts (me age 8-10) and an uncle (me age 11) who liked to make fun of me to make his overweight daughter (my cousin) feel better about herself. He would sing "sara-sue-you smell-like-poo" or talk about how much smarter Jenny was than me because she got better grades.

It's taken a lot of my adult life (I'm 27 now) to change my perception of myself. The biggest help I've found is to stop reliving those horrible moments. If it hurts then you need to let it go and embrace what is good about yourself. If that means not talking to the people that trigger that pain for you, then that's what you need to do, until you feel healed. If you do decide to let them back in your life, you need to re-address the value you weigh in the way they treat you. Healthy, kind people and friendships do exist.

My biggest break though was arranging a counseling session with my mother so that a therapist could be the mediator. My mom has a tendency of talking for me and using her tears to intimidate me, so I wanted to make sure I could get everything out so I didn't have to carry it around anymore. I had realized that of everyone, my mother had hurt me the worst, and I just wanted her to own it for once instead of me being afraid of her being sad and weak. I love my mother, but I needed to love myself a lot more. Now we are great, she took responsibility for so many things that I had weighted on myself over the years and apologized. Now I just need to continue to be proactive in becoming the person I want to be, instead of the quiet scared little shadow that I was.


----------



## Lonewolf2014

"Youre a piece of ****" 
"Youll be nothing in life"
"Die" - dad 
In spanish though. ..


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## principessa

"Why don't you just make friends like others"
"Why don't you have friends"
"Why don't you have a boyfriend"
"Just go and talk to the others, it's easy"
When I was on an exchange student website for host families to choose me " you are never gonna get picked a lot of girls are way prettier than you are"....


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## snowshield

I didn't grow up with my parents.
from the age of 4 or 5 till 20, my aunts said, "Such a stupid, useless person" whatever I did, whatever I said. 
I was not bad at school aside from having difficulties in socializing. So, I was really confused. Was I really a dump ***, dull and stupid? My difficulties fitting into the society made me believe that I was not a good enough person. It hurt my self esteem and suffered my whole life having difficulties in building healthy relationship with people. I happened to put a wall so that no one could harm me and that undesirably prevent from having good friends too. I became passive aggressive person. I am trying to mend it now.


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## just smile

"i want to die because of you"


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## 15 feet

My dad ===>"30 years huh? (Basically my whole life thus far)...DISAPPOINTMENT!!!" That was when he was moving his stuff out when his house was foreclosed. Obviously he was frustrated and angry he was losing his house but what a sore loser he was/is. He wanted to play the game and wanted to be wealthy and the banks beat him and he couldn't handle it.

He called me a "[email protected] f****t" once too.


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## Payz

"You're a failure"

"What's wrong with you?"

"Why are you like this?"

"Why can't you be like the other kids, why don't you like what they like?"

"Do something with yourself"

"What happened to you?"

My parents can be pretty hurtful when they're angry, but a lot of the time it's because due to English not being their first language they don't realize how painful and blatant their words and tone are.


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## justapatheticperson

"Why did Jesus give me this? All I wanted was a normal kid, and I get this?" - my dad
"You're a demented loser with no friends." - my dad
"You are getting heavy. How much do you weigh? 160? 165?" - my mom I've lost 45 lbs since but that really hurt.


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## 3 AM

"You are a stupid *****." - my ma.

I totally deserved it tho, hehhh...


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## iDreamedaDream

My mum called me a sl** [but i was a virgin and she was having an affair!] It has stuck to me like glue to this very day


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## Brilliantly Beta

"Go to hell" "Stop acting like a piece of s***" among many others. This is what I get for standing up for myself when I feel I have been wronged and even if she hurts me with something I am expected to keep my mouth shut like a 'good little 22 year old who knows nothing'. 

Little things such as overlooking something or being forgetful and the response is way ott like I have committed murder.

My mum as much as I love her doesn't realise her words alone have trashed my confidence. It hurts to have most people you meet degrading you but when your own mum does it, the kick is to the heart rather than the stomach :'(.


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## Kisa

"I will lock you in the car and drive into a lake."
"I'm going to kill you in your sleep."
"I will destroy everything you hold dear." (and she has)
- My loving mother


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## something there

"People ask me whether or not you have a personality."
"Do you actually have any friends?"


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## HanSolo

they were/are great parents compared to most, its just so many things my mom should have done different, since I had no father in my early years.

But I wouldn't even say what the worst thing said was....she did it 2 times, and I hate her for it.


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## bluegc8

"You're going to grow up to become one of those men with no women" - my mom

I got mad at her and we got in a big fight. She's been giving me the silent treatment since. Haven't talked to her in a month and I still live with her.


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## Perkins

"I don't like you."

"I should've let those bullies have their way with you. Probably all you've ever known."

"You're a f***ing idiot."

"If you were 18, I'd throw your *** out."

"Why do you exist?"


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## Holly Min

Oddly enough, for me, the worst thing is when my parents have no idea what sort of harm I'm inflicting on myself, how lazy/depressed/hopeless/helpless/alone I am most of the time, and utterly incapable of functioning normally. 

It's my own fault, I guess. I put on too good of a show, so that I can present myself as the ultimate figure of the responsible young adult. Unfortunately, that means that they can occasionally be so proud of me that I feel like the worst sort of fraud that's ever lived, especially when I have to lie to their face to explain why I wouldn't respond to their calls so I don't have to tell them that I've actually just been lying in my bed doing nothing all day because I can't face the world because I'm a cowardly piece of **** who shouldn't have been born in the first place.

But anyways.... worst things my parents have actually said to me:

My mum: 80% earnestly, on multiple, countless occasions - "Why are you so strange? Are you really my daughter? Did an alien abduct you and possess your body? Who are you?"

I mean, seriously, once is okay, I can deal with it as a joke. But when it becomes a running gag for her, then it's just not okay.

Also:

"Why are you so fat? Did you know, I was 90 lbs when I got married, and only 100 lbs when I stepped onto the scale the day after I gave birth to you." Along with other subtle hints that I should lay off the food. 

I have a f***ing eating disorder, okay? And she knows about it. (And damn it! I swear I've never been heavier than 120lbs at most, why does she want to fuel my self-hatred??)

Anyways. That's about it. The recurring insults, which are recurring precisely because she never thinks of them as insulting.


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## Infinity00

*Big hugs to all*

Wow, what an upsetting thread - hugs to everyone. Please don't judge your self worth based on what your parents, or any other person with negative vibes has said. Having SA is so hard and yet we have managed to deal with it every day of our lives - we are some of the strongest people on the planet and we know it to be true because we are the ones who are living it. :yes


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## Speakless

"This is why your friends don't want to bother with you.(Not true. I choose not to talk to them.)"
"Why do you like to be alone?(There's people called introverts. Look it up.)"
"I'm not bothering you!"(Yeah. You are.)
"So what if I wake you up?! Just want to spend time with my son!"(Sure wake me up. College and job hunting could wait. Not like I won't be tired or anything.)
"Something is wrong with you." (And your completely flawless.)
These are the lovely words of my mom.


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## Evil Mouse

The worst would probably when my mom told me I was "useless". I stings, specially when you work hard working on your portfolio just to impress clients in order to get a gig or so.


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## TillLindemann

:| Evil Mouse, I've gotten that too before, whenever I couldnt meet my mom's expectations or something


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## Tymes Rhymes

"You're useless"
"I'll ****ing kill you"
"I wish you were dead."

Some other things but I pretty much have blanked out my parents.


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## Rayzada

My heart truly aches for everyone on this forum. I share your pain.

When I was in elementary school, I wasn't good in math, and my dad would write math problems for me to do at home. He would have me stand there while he would go and correct them, and when there were many wrong, he said something in a harsh tone that made me cry. He then yelled at me saying that crying doesn't solve anything. He told me to go to my room and come back when I stopped crying. _I was ****ing scared._ I didn't wan't to go back to his room, so I stayed in mine. After awhile he barged into my room and yelled "Didn't I tell you to come back??"

This is the primary memory that I believe traumatized me the most. I am 27, but to this day I am still scared/intimidated/nervous around authority figures - police, guards, supervisors or anyone that talks down to me - I'm incredibly sensitive to criticism, and have cried over minor things at school and at work.

My dad has also told me that "Depression is a weakness," but I now know that it is a condition that needs treatment just like any other sickness. But it made me feel like I was worthless and weak.. I don't remember a lot of positive feedback from him growing up. Not even now.. unless I do something that they approve of.

My mom on the other hand, cares a lot about appearance. Growing up she always told me to pinch my nose to make it straighter. Once we were taking pictures at home (I think I was in 6th grade), and she wanted to put contour powder on the side of my nose to make it look smaller. Also my grandmother and her would massage my legs because they said they didn't want my calves to look like my dad's (his are very distinct). I felt defective and flawed, like the nose and legs I had weren't acceptable. She also tells me that my hair is too bushy. Before when I was heavier, she would say things like "It won't fit you."

Of what my parents don't say - They don't say they're proud of me. They don't brag about me to their friends, however, they tell everyone about my brother who is a lawyer. Nor do they tell anyone what I am aspiring to be (I want to be an animator). They never ask to see the work I'm doing and they never praise it.


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## stephanie13021988

I got the "I wish you were never born" "I'm tired of being ashamed of you" "Why can't you be/look like those girls" "If your grandmother were alive today she would be ashamed of you (My grandmother meant a lot to me and that one hurt the most). I have emotionally, mentally and used to be physically abusive parents. Some days are better than most.


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## rebeccaleewrites

I think I'm going to share a couple because they're equally hurtful 

#1: "You need to start watching your weight those jeans are looking too tight 
alt: "How much do you weigh again?"
#2: "Are you even trying to get better? 
#3: "All you need is more sleep and you'll be fine, I'm not wasting money on you until u get more sleep."

It's funny they go on about how supportive they are when I've been dealing with SA since I've been very young and when I finally got the courage to tell them I needed help, I was treated like it was my own fault. :bah


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## SuperSaiyanGod

"Do you want me to bash your head against the wall"- Dear 'ol Dad


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## MikePorreca

Been told I was useless on more occasions than I can count while in the third grade. Was told by my dad I'm going to end up "a ***" because I wasn't sporty and preferred to play N64 and skateboard over baseball. My extended family has continuously given me blatant treatment as a step son.

One thing that was so little but made me feel useless however was when I was sixteen I was constantly nagged by my mother on how I'll "never get a job looking the way I do" because my hair was a bit long and I had gauges(6g at the time, about the size of the inside of a pen). I finally got a job in fast food at the age of 16/17ish and when I got a C- on my report card I was told I'll be working in that fast food hellhole for the rest of my life. Sick thanks


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## WanderingMind001

Something my mom said, did, and didn't say that still irks me to this day... 
The story goes: my mom and I are the only ones that go to her room cause she has a bathroom connected to her room. And she has plastic drawers on the vanity table. One had lots of cash in it. When it disappeared she said to me...

"Stay out of my room thief and don't come back" she thought I stole it, but no I didn't. I thought she would know I don't resort to that behavior. Guess I already lost credibility for no reason. 

After the silent treatment she talks to me again:
"What's gonna happen in the future if you continue that habit, stealing things from others..." I keep repeating to her I didn't steal anything. She didn't believe me so I cried.

Then I went back in the room with her the next day and I vigorously looked for her money and it turned out it was clipped inbetween the wall and the back of the plastic drawer(cause it slipped by the hole in the back of the plastic drawer). I took it out, waved it at her saying "found it", and handed it to her. Guess what?

She didn't apologize to me just had a stoned expression on her face and didn't say anything. She didn't even look me in the eyes. So I said to her "oh don't worry no need to apologize. .." then I left the room but damn, I wish she did! I was sarcastic when I said don't apologize. Ugh!


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## Ms Yesterday

My Mum - I strongly advise you to never have children
Me - from personal experience? 
Mum - of course *doesnt even blink*

Lol... Is it bad this kind of comment doesn't really affect me anymore?


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## Bearyfluffy

"Go die in the corner"

"IDIOT"

"You're gonna end up as a janitor while all your friends work for big companies"

All said by my half-brother.


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## Cuban FL Cracker

Dad once called me a fat ***.

A few of the things my mom has said to me:
dickhead
asswipe
fa*got
as**ole
"I hate you"
"Go ***** yourself"
"Go ahead and kill yourself"
"I'm going to beat your head off your shoulders."
Not to mention she's strangled and chocked me twice and has also punched me in the head three times.

Then my mom wonders why I keep my distance from her. My mom was very strange towards me when I was growing up. Sometimes she was really mean to me and other times I thought she was overly affectionate towards me. She also used to act embarrassed of me when her idiot boyfriends were around.

Now when we're around each other, we fight like cats and dogs. We've never really gotten along and I doubt we ever will. I get along with my other family members just fine though.


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## Canadian Brotha

~ "I'm disappointed in you" was a tough thing to hear as a kid when I got in trouble
~ Both my parents have made numerous references to my lack of applying myself in life & comparisons to other people my age who are having families/getting married, buying houses/cars, & finishing degrees which always sucks to hear
~ My mom has referred to me as "cheap" a number of times
~ Also, when my mom rants about things she dislikes about me in her native tongue sucks because I don't understand what she's saying but her tone speaks volumes 

There are probably a ton more but I don't care to search my memory for them


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## ComfortWhereWeOverlap

When instead of wanting to hang out with me after being gone for three months, she would rather watch her "shows."


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## schen5

Its not so much what my parents say, but HOW they say it, and the way that they look at you when they say it. They look like they are about to cry from the shame of what I have become, and they speak as if they are speaking about the end of the world, as if I am some abomination who is miles apart from any other normal human being. 

And then when I talk to them about it, they'll just deny it and say I'm just too sensitive :no


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## Georginas

'Get your f***ing act together. You don't even talk'


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## keithjm

Being forced to go to summer camp. The campers did not want me there; the counselors did not want me there; I did not want me there. For day camp, I use to pretend to go and just walk around for 7 hours and then go home (by bus). The pain of having other campers tell you they wish you would not show up is unreal. Overnight camp was worse. I had to call home and beg them to pick me up. The others would act like I was not there --unless they wanted to torture me in various ways. Like throw my clothes outside on the grass; put rotten food in my suitcase. The counselor actually felt sorry for me because he found my baseball glove full of toothpaste. They would trip wire the door so a broom would fall if I opened the door. But of course the worst part was being in a empty dorm room while all the others were out having fun. They would come back late at night and ask if I had fun staring at the ceiling and asking why I had not left the camp because my presence was ruining their fun. My parent thought going to camp would be good. It was a nightmare and confirmed what I knew all along. I beg not to go. But it fell on deaf ears.


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## seahawk665

My mom getting angry at me, shaking her head and saying, "There's got to be something wrong with you."

Well, there is. Actually, a lot of things. But what was going on in my life at the time made her words hurt a lot. I was in middle school, the time of my life where I was being bullied because of the way I looked, and I had no real friends. And, everyday I would ask myself what was wrong with me that made me a target. Having someone voice the same thoughts in my head made it worse.


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## tonyhd71

My dad told me I was going to be homeless living in the streets because apparently I'm so useless. 

His words really used to get to me. I hate my dad, his words are meaningless to me now.


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## skillet

I can't count the amount of horrible things my family has said to me just for being more advanced. I'm a victim of severe emotional abuse. It's not fair to me. And my life is completely stuck because of it.


----------



## tlrc

My mom once told me that it's embarrassing to have her friends over because I hardly say anything to them and act "weird and awkward"....
Embarrassing, weird and awkward. Ouch.......


----------



## Charlieisnotcool

That I'm ugly,I'll have a diseas in a few years and that maybe she would be happier if I wasn't there...


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## spiritedaway

-"Stop acting like such a loser and go make some friends."
-"Haha you should go to fat camp!" This was actually said by my older sister but my mom agreed with her and told me to lighten up when I got mad.
- "No wonder you have no friends or boyfriend."
- "Stop acting so depressed all the time. It's annoying."
- "You should get a job and actually go out. Maybe then you wouldn't be so useless."

And my mom wonders why I stay locked up in my room 24/7...


----------



## zero 7

My mother once called me a no good thieving ****, because some money went missing out of my nan's house, I was completely innocent which was later proven 

"I wish you were normal like other people"

"what do be depressed about you are young and have everything you could want" when I tried to explain that my head wasn't right 

I had a tough time a lot of my teenage years not just with my family just life in general hated school and being bullied through most of it. I'm 25 now and recently made some big changes but i am not fully out of the woods yet.


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## Mewt

Meh I've heard a lot of crazy things but the one that sticks out the most

(After a fight with my dad)
Stepmom: You're the constant reminder of the other women, I want you out of my house.


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## Chukopin

If I ever need a final push off the ridge, I'm gonna read this thread to make sure I'll end it all. Tough stuff...


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## slyfox

My mom used to threaten that she was going to get rid of me every once in awhile as a kid/teen. My Dad had to calm her down

Before I moved out my Dad was harassing me and doing everything he could to make me miserable so I would either move out or be exactly the way he wanted. He was surprised when I chose to move out. He used to say a lot of nasty stuff before I moved out.


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## BehindClosedDoors

My mother always told me that when I fell in love and made the decision to become intimate with my boyfriend that I could tell her and she'd take me to a doctor for birth control. She was always like "You can talk to me and tell me this stuff."

So when I started dating a boy in high school when I was 17 and I was sure he was the one, I went to talk to her like she said I could. She completely flipped out on me. She asked me if I had already slept with him and I said yes I had but just once and he used protection. She called me a wh*re and said he'd leave me and never respect me. I was so freaking mad by then (especially since she was the queen of cereal dating and breakups) that my reply was "Well if I'm a wh*re, it's because I learned from the best." 
I don't remember much after that lol because she knocked me out. I woke up on the floor but I figured it was worth it because at least I got my own few words in before she hit me. I NEVER talked so disrespectfully to my mother but that time I honestly felt like she deserved it. And you know what? That boy and I ended up married. 18 years now actually, so I guess he did love and respect me after all


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## slyfox

BehindClosedDoors said:


> My mother always told me that when I fell in love and made the decision to become intimate with my boyfriend that I could tell her and she'd take me to a doctor for birth control. She was always like "You can talk to me and tell me this stuff."
> 
> So when I started dating a boy in high school when I was 17 and I was sure he was the one, I went to talk to her like she said I could. She completely flipped out on me. She asked me if I had already slept with him and I said yes I had but just once and he used protection. She called me a wh*re and said he'd leave me and never respect me. I was so freaking mad by then (especially since she was the queen of cereal dating and breakups) that my reply was "Well if I'm a wh*re, it's because I learned from the best."
> I don't remember much after that lol because she knocked me out. I woke up on the floor but I figured it was worth it because at least I got my own few words in before she hit me. I NEVER talked so disrespectfully to my mother but that time I honestly felt like she deserved it. And you know what? That boy and I ended up married. 18 years now actually, so I guess he did love and respect me after all


That's awful what your mom did, but glad your story had a happy ending


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## BehindClosedDoors

slyfox said:


> That's awful what your mom did, but glad your story had a happy ending


Thanks  Parents can be total jerks and in the end I've realized they are just as human as we are and prone to the same crappy decisions. I've tried really hard to be better than that with my own kids and my son could come talk to me when he was ready to about that. I realized right then and there how DIFFICULT it really is to deal with your "baby" not being a baby anymore. It's got to be the most uncomfortable thought and feeling in the world. Think of how gross/uncomfortable it is to think about your parents having sex and then take that times a hundred. That's how awful the feeling is as a parent. My mom obviously handled it really wrong. I don't think it could have been any worse. I know I did better, no matter how uncomfortable the feeling was. So at least I learned something from this I guess :sus


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## Caledon

I'm just generally a joke and my families punching bag. Did some rebellious stuff as a teen now am stuck with that stupid rep with my family forever. Started nursing school, quite smoking just generally became a mature adult and still get treated like I act the same way? 'there's a top on the floor, you have always been such a disappointment' never any praise what so ever I think they secretly hope i fail so they have more reason to laugh at me.


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## slowlyimproving

Caledon said:


> I'm just generally a joke and my families punching bag. Did some rebellious stuff as a teen now am stuck with that stupid rep with my family forever. Started nursing school, quite smoking just generally became a mature adult and still get treated like I act the same way? 'there's a top on the floor, you have always been such a disappointment' never any praise what so ever I think they secretly hope i fail so they have more reason to laugh at me.


Don't let your past define your future. Everyone has one, no one is perfect. We all grow and evolve. Your teen years are perfect for making mistakes and learning from them. For your family to still hold this over your head, says a lot more about them, than you.

You're turning into the person you've meant to be. Continue your journey.


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## burningpile

skillet said:


> I can't count the amount of horrible things my family has said to me just for being more advanced. I'm a victim of severe emotional abuse. It's not fair to me. And my life is completely stuck because of it.


No! If they do nothing but put you down or use you, then move on, family or not. It never ends until you get away from them. Don't adjust your life to them, just do your own thing.


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## Nothing123

Wow.. and i thought my mum was meanest of them all.. it makes me sad to hear all these horrible things happen to other people, but at the same time gives me a little ray of hope, cos we're all in this together... *hugs for everyone*

Anyway among my list of things my mum has said...

"you're a b*t*h"
"Idiot"
"stupid idiot"
"Leech"
"Ungrateful and unworthy of love"
"DIsgusting"
"A waste of space"

Thats just off the top of my head.


----------



## monotonous

i wish you were never born

i wish xxx (my cousin) was my son 

maybe you wont be such a disappointment when you were dead

do you get paid for being such a disappointment?


talking about a happy childhood and loving yourself


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## JohnS94

That I was lazy and useless. But I can't blame them, as they were basically right. I have been working on turning that around, though. Just told me what I needed to hear, as it was just said to get me to change my ways and not intended as malicious hostility.


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## Barakiel

My mom telling me "You're the one who is tearing this family apart" after I had a long anxious night and didn't feel like going swimming. And when I told her about this a few years later she denied ever saying it.

Also my dad dismissing my problems, going so far as to bring up his childhood abuse (which he has only told one other person, not even my mother) for the sole purpose of telling me my problems didn't matter.

These may not be as bad as what other people in this thread have gone through, but it has broken my trust for my parents.


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## Fangirl96

Idk actually. My dad always had a problem with my social anxiety as a kid, and sometimes said that he can't have a kid who's scared of people. So because of that, i think he might have said that i wasn't normal a few times. It's not something that bothers me really, but if he could see how much worse i've gotten over the past years, he'd probably cry blood.

I can't remember my mom saying anything hurtful about me. She understands me and my problems. However, she constantly blames me for her headaches and bad health in general. It's because i never clean or whatever. It f*****g hurts to listen to your mom say that she's miserable and in pain, and that it would just magically all go away if i threw stuff away or whatever. But then when i actually do clean and actually throw stuff away, she will pop up over my shoulder and stop me from throwing bags and boxes away because "she can use them for something". Like, are you for real? Everything i do is wrong. I'm sick of it.


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## Amorphousanomaly

When my mom caught me cutting myself in high school she told me she was glad it wasn't a tattoo I was covering up.
Then I got four tattoos.
**** you, mom!


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## twitchy666

*best thing ever said to me*

Mum said We are so sorry! over & over... we tried & tried for you for so many years
which didn't have any meaning until leaving home.

at school(s), bullied about old & ugly (your old dear.. hahahaha!!)

how would you think if you had siblings 30 years older than you?
nieces born when you were 10


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## Blue Dino

My mother constantly blurting out loud in my face how she has failed us as parents. When I would use to asked "how so?" She would responded "well just look at yourself..." 

Asking her, I pretty much just step into the psychological trap she intentionally set for me.


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## Imbored21

"Get a job."


----------



## Wee Boon Tang

That I'm a worthless son.

Also that I deserved to be whipped with a cane when I was a child. God, if this is America, I'd sue their asses off for child-abuse. Singapore is f-ed up with their acceptance of corporal punishment.


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## HuntersTryst

Rayzada said:


> When I was in elementary school, I wasn't good in math, and my dad would write math problems for me to do at home. He would have me stand there while he would go and correct them, and when there were many wrong, he said something in a harsh tone that made me cry. He then yelled at me saying that crying doesn't solve anything. He told me to go to my room and come back when I stopped crying. _I was ****ing scared._ I didn't wan't to go back to his room, so I stayed in mine. After awhile he barged into my room and yelled "Didn't I tell you to come back??"


My Dad did this /exact/ thing, and I think it's one of the things that really traumatised me in my early childhood. The worst thing was that I was the brightest kid in my class, with teachers telling me I needed to be moved to a better school. I wish I'd had the balls to stick up for myself back then.


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## PBW234

My mom always give me a long lecture about how bad I am at my life


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## Monkeygirl

My dad calls me ugly sometimes especially when he's drunk.


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## ShinigamiKai

I graduated college right when the recession was really getting bad. I had had jobs and always lived off of what I saved (all I didn't pay was rent) but I couldn't find a decent full time job. My mother told me there was nothing worse than a grown child that wasn't working and wasn't in school. She also used to leave me little I hate you notes whenever I'd done something around the house she didn't like. She literally wrote 'what the hell is wrong with you?!' and proceeded to complain about how I'd bleached her towels with my proactive and I owed her new ones. Actually, I'm not sure if I can pick one worst thing. She's a horrible person.


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## Perspicacious

Idc what my father says to me because he means nothing to me but my mother once laughed at my first and final suicide attempt that happened right in front of her eyes. Ever since, I stopped seeing her as my mother. All the feelings and emotions that used to influence me when I talk with her or even think of her are completely gone. I even stopped feeling guilty when I upset her. Well, she's officially nothing to me now. And I honestly don't feel bad, I feel much better.


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## desartamiu

A few days ago my dad literally went to me 'Are you a weirdo'?. He then said he was joking, but that was after 30 minutes of me being angry with him. Nasty man.


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## DerGiLLster

*Worst my mom said.*

I remember back in the 6th grade, I used to be really annoying because I didn't know how else to talk to people. I remember my mom telling me "I wish I could just leave you like all the other kid, I wish I could ignore you like the kids at school, but I can't..."


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## HannahG

My dad:

(when I was 12) "You're a loser. You're fat. You'll never make any friends." I was sobbing like crazy and he goes on, "No one's ever going to like you if you stay as fat as you are..." I was like, 10 pounds overweight at the time, not exactly ready for sumo-wrestling.

"I don't have time" every time I asked him to teach me photography (he has a diploma in it & lots of equipment). Then when my sister asked the same thing, he taught her. ...."I don't have time" to teach me how to drive, etc.

Showing him all my A's whenever I got them.... no reaction.
Show him my short story in writing class - tears it to pieces (even though the teacher thought it was good enough to get an A+ on it).

When my sister was sick with cancer & I was still looking for a job (Screaming) "Why are you such a loser?! You don't have friends, you don't have a job! Everyone can find work! I found a job a week after I graduated University! What's wrong with you?! Your sister never had trouble finding a job! She's fighting for her life and you can't even get a job!!"

When I got a job and it went out of business... This is what my dad said to me when I told them I lost my job, "Yeah I'm not surprised." I was upset already and my mom made him apologize but he couldn't even do that right, he said "I'm sorry you're upset" ...not much of an apology

My mom:

"The only reason we put her (me) in the will to get the dog is because he knows her better. That's the only reason." This hit me because I thought they would leave me the dog because they know how much I love him... 

"People change....well, you don't."

Sitting at dinner table with siblings. Saying my brother's name then my sister's "We're so proud of you" ....my name wasn't included. Then my dad repeats it. 


Overall my mom is usually kind and supportive but she has moments where it's obvious that I'm my parent's least favourite child. My dad isn't quite as bad as he used to but that could just be because I have my own place and can't hear him talk s*** about me as much.


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## meghankira

my dad died laughing in public because i said that depression runs in our family (it does). as someone who has severe depression along with SA, it was a huge stab to the heart.


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## peach123

Ms Yesterday said:


> It's funny, just a simple "I'm ashamed of you" can make you feel like such utter ****.
> My Mum is bipolar so she apparently doesn't mean what she says at her low points, but obviously she thinks it on some level.
> Has anyone else had parents say something like that to their face?


My father is on the phone right now turning one of my family members against me. Yet, he wants me to support him in what he has going on. Everything that he wants me to do for him, he wants me to do without an attitude. Everything that you can think of he has said negatively toward me. Yet, to the outside world he is the world's greatest, he can do no wrong. So I can't wait for him to move out. He wants to move on and I want him to move on. I told him that I do not like the way he treats me, it has gotten worse since my mother passed in 2007. There was no one around but him and I and he was verbally abusive to me. My father was and still is against many of the decisions that I make. Yet, many of the decisions he has made, if I did anything the way he did it, he would have a fit and tell me how wrong I am. My father thinks he can do no wrong and he thinks that I am always wrong. I wish him luck in his future however I am tired of always trying to seek his approval and not getting it. Yet, he feels he can continue to talk to me like a dog when I do not do things the way he wants me to do them. He has told me today he is moving out in a month. Fine, go. I don't need the negativity and aggravation. Yes, I will get the disapproval of most people. But I have to have peace within myself. He is on the phone telling my cousin that he is done. Why, I haven't done anything to you. I have lived with you over eight years and tried to help and support you. But yet, now that you found a woman that you want to be with, you are done and want to be free. Then be free.


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## peach123

I think one of the good things that has come out of this is that I am not going to allow him to mistreat me just because it is just him and me. He feels that because there is no one else, he can do and say what he wants to me without being held accountable by other people. I have trouble sticking up for myself because of this but I am learning to acknowledge my feelings and to tell my story even if others think that I am wrong. I an entitled to how I feel just like everyone else. But now I am learning to let him tell him story and I say nothing because I do not need to fight or justify my actions. I have done nothing to him. I have no problem with him living his life. In fact, I applaud him for doing so.


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## peach123

Thedriftingdaisy said:


> The worst things I was told as a child were:
> 
> My first stepdad told me "Don't ask a stupid question!"- when I asked a sincere question as a 6-year-old. Not intending to be patronizing, I was confused and hurt and afraid to ask any questions, considering they might be deemed as "stupid."
> 
> My aunt tried to commit suicide on pills when I was 8 years old and she was baby-sitting me while my mother was at night classes. My aunt explained to me that she was going to go to sleep and never wake up as I sat crying silently hiding behind the covers while Lifetime blared on the tv in the background.
> 
> The same aunt while babysitting (mom still at night classes) told me a year later, "You ruin everything!" As she ran in her room and slammed her door. I had been dipping my fingers in the warm wax of a candle- by no means damaging the candle or making a mess. Being a child whose father was not in the picture, who's mother had only been married to her stepdad for 2 years before divorce, and who's mother treated her more like an obligation than her offspring I felt like my aunt was right. I have ruined my moms life.
> 
> The running theme of my life lead me to see myself as a nuisance and I lived in fear of that every day. I became very introverted in elementary school and depressed by middle school. My mom told me I didn't make friends because I didn't smile, but I didn't have it in me to smile anymore. By high school I was on a prescription cocktail of anti-anxiety, anti depression, and sleeping pills. I became anorexic because it felt good to feel in control of something and the hunger pains felt like penance or cleansing I suppose.
> 
> First stepdad (me age 2-7) was an alcoholic and a cheater, second stepdad (me age 9-present) was an alcoholic and a meth-addict, who is now 10 yrs clean. My mom was so insecure she always needed a man in her life and she never hid her emotions about them or her finances from me. We lived with my grandparents several times (me age 0-1,3-5,13 & 15) we lived with 2 different aunts (me age 8-10) and an uncle (me age 11) who liked to make fun of me to make his overweight daughter (my cousin) feel better about herself. He would sing "sara-sue-you smell-like-poo" or talk about how much smarter Jenny was than me because she got better grades.
> 
> It's taken a lot of my adult life (I'm 27 now) to change my perception of myself. The biggest help I've found is to stop reliving those horrible moments. If it hurts then you need to let it go and embrace what is good about yourself. If that means not talking to the people that trigger that pain for you, then that's what you need to do, until you feel healed. If you do decide to let them back in your life, you need to re-address the value you weigh in the way they treat you. Healthy, kind people and friendships do exist.
> 
> My biggest break though was arranging a counseling session with my mother so that a therapist could be the mediator. My mom has a tendency of talking for me and using her tears to intimidate me, so I wanted to make sure I could get everything out so I didn't have to carry it around anymore. I had realized that of everyone, my mother had hurt me the worst, and I just wanted her to own it for once instead of me being afraid of her being sad and weak. I love my mother, but I needed to love myself a lot more. Now we are great, she took responsibility for so many things that I had weighted on myself over the years and apologized. Now I just need to continue to be proactive in becoming the person I want to be, instead of the quiet scared little shadow that I was.


Bingo!!!! Now that I am experiencing right now with my father. I am going through the process of healing myself and making sure that I have healthy relationships. He is more concerned with how things look to other people. I am concerned with him acknowledging that he is verbally abusive and that he does not listen to what I have to say and he does not acknowledge how I feel when I tell him that I am not happy with the way that he treats me. But he wants to know if I will attend a family reunion that his girlfriend is having, that is more important to him than working on our relationship. Ok. I have stopped talking to my cousin because he believes and supports my father. He feels I should do what my father asks because of all that he has done for me. I told my cousin that my father is verbally abusive and my cousin feels that is not important enough for me to not do what my father asks. But for once I am going to put myself and my health first.


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## KawaiiHime

''you're SIIIIICK!!!'' (by my mom)


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## sylis

My Dad beat the **** outta me when I tried talking back to him when he his was drunk, in front of a bunch of people and my brothers. The left side was bruised a couple days after that


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## iCod

"You're so pathetic! Why don't you go outside, ever? Do you just sit inside all day and play games? You're such a disappointment!" -Father.

"It's Friday night! Why aren't you out with friends having fun? Oh that's right, you have no friends and you don't have the first clue what "fun" is" -Aunt 

"You'll never get a girl to like you if all you do all day is be a fat leech and play video games all day. Hell, you're my own son and don't even want to be around you!" -Mother.

That last one tore me to ****ing pieces. What do you do when you have no friends and a family who hates you?


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## Imbored21

get a job


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## 2Milk

are you gay?


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## 7th.Streeter

Good lord, I'm soooo sorry for you guys...


please don't be offended..but..


there's a special place in hell for parents who are tho emotionally,mentally and physically abusive to children..


tho thread is making me cry a river 😩


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## gumballhead

RelinquishedHell said:


> "I don't care if you end up sleeping on a park bench."
> 
> "I hate you."
> 
> "Your a loser, what the hell is the matter with you? Why don't you make some friends and get a girlfriend?"
> 
> "Are you gay?"
> 
> "Your a son of a b****." ( Haha, I agree ).


Haha yeah, my Mom called me a son of a b**** once too. Probably the dumbest thing she's ever said to me.


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## gumballhead

Nothing too horrible really comes to mind. Just some empty insults (mostly from Mom) like "F*** You" "Go to Hell" that sort of thing. Nothing that really cut to the bone and made me feel bad about myself. My mom said "Maybe you should get a life" once, but this was right after high school ended, and I was complaining a lot, so it was kind of warranted. My Dad sometimes asks me why I'm not doing anything with my life, but he tries his best not to be insulting about it. I know my parents love me, and they've been good about not crushing my soul too much.


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## naptime

I must have been around eleven or twelve and I remember my mom calling me a loser because I didn't want to get out of the car to go for a walk during some road trip we went on. Aside from that it was just your run of the mill yelling and spanking that I got growing up.

As others have stated its what they didn't say that's stuck with me. I don't remember ever getting a hug or an "I love you" from them.


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## M0rbid

you need a wife.


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## UnusualSuspect

You're not part of the family.


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## Idontgetit

“ur a lazy c**nt”


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## Kevin001

You're a sorry excuse for a son and a little b*tch.


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## thebigofan

That I'm useless, and just an animal.


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## loren

Obesity


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## Brawk Shady

"Go slit your wrists"

"I would get rid of her if I could" (speaking to my brother).


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## smokeybirdie

"No one in this ****ing house ever helps out around here, you're all lazy pieces of ****." (my mom often talks out loud to herself, and says things like this when I'm the only other person in the house, as if I can't hear her)

"Get out of here, or I might hurt you."

"You are absolutely helpless, aren't you? Why can't you ever do anything for yourself?" (I have a learning disability and am often unable to understand how to do tasks unless they're very simple)

and I'm sure things have been said about me behind my back. It's not my fault I'm apparently such a burden on your lives. You chose to have a second kid, not me.


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## reaffected

"You don't deserve anything" "Why would someone like _him_ ever want to be with someone like _you_." "You're evil, hateful". "You're ungrateful". "You're just an angry person inside" "Were you drunk?" In response to being sexually assaulted. "You're just lazy" "go to your room and deal with it" - response to going to my parents for 'help,' having a panic attack eat or being shoved away for countless years out of the house of them ignoring my pleas when in an emergency situation. "We won't be walking you down the isle at your wedding day." How I'm an ugly person. Plus many more!

Seconded on how it isn't _my fault_ they chose to have kids or I was born. Some...no most...people shouldn't breed. My parents are included.


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## Wings of Amnesty

reaffected said:


> "You don't deserve anything" "Why would someone like _him_ ever want to be with someone like _you_." "You're evil, hateful". "You're ungrateful". "You're just an angry person inside" "Were you drunk?" In response to being sexually assaulted. "You're just lazy" "go to your room and deal with it" - response to going to my parents for 'help,' having a panic attack eat or being shoved away for countless years out of the house of them ignoring my pleas when in an emergency situation. "We won't be walking you down the isle at your wedding day." How I'm an ugly person. Plus many more!
> 
> Seconded on how it isn't _my fault_ they chose to have kids or I was born. Some...no most...people shouldn't breed. My parents are included.


Wow, I can't believe that. Are you out of their house now?


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## PrincessV

"All you do is eat, sleep, and sh*t."......................LOL...................................... "You're lazy"... "You're evil".... "You're a loser just like your dad." All kinds of things. 

Just because of the extent to my social anxiety and being a shut in. They don't understand, and that's why I forgive them. Really I know they don't mean what they say, at least my Mom. Even if they think of me as a scum, I will still love them. Still sucks their perception on me seems to be on what I do in life, rather than who I am inside. That's the thing. They don't understand what I'm going through.  And I hardly bring up my anxiety or explain it... maybe that's part of the problem. I'm afraid that If I tell them my weakness, they'll use it against me.

I'm sorry to all of you who've felt so alone. Even though we're all so different... one thing that is similar is our ability to relate and understand each others pain through this anxiety. I love you all. Everything your parents said about you doesn't really define you. If they can't love you right, someone else can.


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## something there

Some of these things are really terrible. Wow.

Mother drunkenly called me an accident once. Then attempted to reconcile by saying all children are mistakes. Shockingly, that didn't make me feel any better.


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## Watching

Tell your mother I love her = Father on his deathbed.
Tell your Father I always loved him = Mother on her deathbed.
Haha finally. = Me at my brothers deathbed.


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## Watching

something there said:


> Some of these things are really terrible. Wow.
> 
> Mother drunkenly called me an accident once. Then attempted to reconcile by saying all children are mistakes. Shockingly, that didn't make me feel any better.


So was the whole damn universe, but it's a marvelous engine of coincidence and motion that likes of which powers all things we can know and ever will. So are some of the best discoveries on earth. Even if you are, be happy that you are a good random thing rather than a planned ****ed up and evil thing. Know what I mean?
But for real, if someone called me an accident I'd tell them that's what they will call your cause of death.


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## stevieoo

dad

your a retard(with volgure and anger and at times he be shacking wile saying it and his friends be there also.)

your stupid.

i never wanted you any of you i don't care what u do get the **** out of my life(still shacking).

why don't you talk to no one.

me cause i don't trust no one look how u talk to me you expect me to trust you wile u expolit me to everyone around.

dad(quiet)


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## Joe92

I overheard my dad talking to his friend saying "If I knew he was going to turn out like he has, I wouldn't of had kids."


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## stevieoo

Schmosby said:


> No she hasn't, I think she's just a nasty person, she's always been an alchoholic, she's always been very abusive towards her boyfriends too, she mentally abuses them and if she thinks she can get away with it physically abuses them too, then when she finally gets them to lash out at her, she then spends years telling everybody (and i do mean everybody, milkman, delivery men, cab drivers) how she was 'attacked' and she's scared to answer the door or leavr the house etc and how much she hates them and this continues until she manages to find the next poor guy to terrorise.


im so glad i found another person.

my family is like that but only behind your back mainly my sister and my dad and everyone around me act's like that its like im being attacked by everyone but no one come's to talk to me like a real person and say what's up.

the only different's is i never been kicked out other then that i been through the same boat as you my friend.

just been only emotional abuse mental abuse it's like a constant battle its ****ing crazy and makes a person crazy and like u said when u leave they just keep finding the next person to use. been like this for years and keep going.


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## stevieoo

wow some of these comment's are so horrible i did't knew people with social anxiety was so common to have similar parent's.

this is not cool we need to find a solution to all of this social anxiety.

some of these comment's made me feel good about my self that's how bad it was.


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## 684625

That I'm stupid. Mental. 

My parents accused me of shaming them out of the village once due to going on strike and not going to school because of my SA and said some truly shocking stuff including comparing me to my little b**ch of a cousin who I can't stand to this day. 

I'm used to being yelled at by my parents but a few years ago my Dad took the cake. They were arguing around Xmas and I got somehow involved and long story short my Dad said I'd get nothing when he died. It would all go to his brother and I'm guessing my cousins. The sad thing is I can't tell whether he meant it or not as he always loses the head everytime you try to talk about something important.


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## SofaKing

*"Are you sure?"*

And after an exhaustive argument where I laid out my case, the follow up was "*Well, if you think you've though of everything*" which really meant, if it blows up in your face, it's on you.

Did they mean to systematically create an anxious child who excels at analysis-paralysis and has trouble taking any kind of risk without great angst? Probably not...but they had a way of creating doubt in every decision I ever made or every act I tried.

Yes, they wanted me to avoid harm...and yes...they wanted me to think things through.

But, da ***?


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## reaffected

Wings of Amnesty said:


> Wow, I can't believe that. Are you out of their house now?


Hey, thanks! They also opened all the Christmas presents without me, didn't included me at last thanksgiving, and ate my birthday cake!!! Before I even saw it -_- they are lovely people!

I've been out of there since I was 19? I was kicked out for not going to church. Dad gave me 30 days or my belongings would be out on the lawn. Minus the hell time I had to temporarily go home which ended up horribly. I've excluded other abuse.


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## Morticia Adams

That I am fat and don't take care of myself
I am evil and full of ****
I am probably a ****
I going down the way of the devil
I am bum and should look at a nunnery
I am a mole and ameoba
I have mental health problems
Stupid and simple


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## Lana77

my step dad said this to me after I got out of the hospital for a suicide attempt....

"If you're going to do it, do it right the first time."

He was dead serious. 

Like do you have any idea what the **** you're saying?


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## apx24

With parents like the ones mentioned here, it's little wonder why people develop social anxiety and depression.



PrincessV said:


> "All you do is eat, sleep, and sh*t."......................LOL...................................... "You're lazy"... "You're evil".... "You're a loser just like your dad." All kinds of things.
> 
> Just because of the extent to my social anxiety and being a shut in. They don't understand, and that's why I forgive them. Really I know they don't mean what they say, at least my Mom. Even if they think of me as a scum, I will still love them. Still sucks their perception on me seems to be on what I do in life, rather than who I am inside. That's the thing. They don't understand what I'm going through.  And I hardly bring up my anxiety or explain it... maybe that's part of the problem. I'm afraid that If I tell them my weakness, they'll use it against me.
> 
> I'm sorry to all of you who've felt so alone. Even though we're all so different... one thing that is similar is our ability to relate and understand each others pain through this anxiety. I love you all. Everything your parents said about you doesn't really define you. If they can't love you right, someone else can.


Don't forgive them. Don't love them. They don't deserve it.


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## Chelsalina

"You're the reason why I want to commit suicide" - my dad although it wasn't bad compared to the things he said to my brother and mom, in fact I just laughed
"Ugly, fat, no friends, loser, stupid, hoe, etc." - my brother, just any possible insult you can think of
"Useless, you're going no where in life" - my mom, not bad though


----------



## Boby10

Ysonesse said:


> My parents have said a lot of things that aren't particularly great, but the worst has to be: "You have to take care of us when we get older".


Same here man my parents are quite good. My father is quite annoying but its not that bad. And when he tell me that i must take care of him when he get old, i get a headache and start feeling nervous. xD


----------



## doe deer

oh where do i start, my parents insulted me so many times i can't even remember. but i do remember last year, my dad sent me a text saying that i have no future, i'm hopeless and i'm not capable of even getting into university so i should just go and get a low paying part time job - that will be my future. fun fact: i got into the first uni of my choice, i still keep his message on my phone though. my mom said that i ruined her life but i was giving her a really hard time then, i was so sad and anxious that i couldn't go to school and i would wake up at 4am and cry because of anxiety.


----------



## Maslow

Imagine the mother on the show Two and a Half Men as a screamer and you have my mother.

When I was about 30, I told her about a girl I was dating. She said to me, "I'm glad you were able to find someone."

She's said far worse, but that sums it up right there.


----------



## Humesday

-- "I don't like you"
-- "are you gay?'
-- "you look like a holocaust camp survivor"
-- "You're not one of us"


----------



## Glycerin

^^^ It's kind of sad that asking "are you gay" is one of the worst things a parent has said. Shows how homophobic our society is.


----------



## Dissipated

My father said once he wished he had shot me in a tissue haha.


----------



## Zozulya

"I've made a mistake by conceiving you" (now they text me to check if I'm still alive)
"You all lazy pieces of ****, we feed you for nothing. Guess I can't even count on your help when we will become elderly" (sure, like I have chosen to spawn into this ****ing world and owe a semipermanent debt)
"You are good at nothing" (true, I want to thrive in a creative world - but I have no creativity)
"If only if I have abandoned you/aborted you, my life would be better" (I wouldn't have to exist, which is fine)
"Stop playing video games, save your eyes for the beautiful things" (reference to sexual stuff, like I care)
"You are lazy and deserve nothing" 
"You are not depressed (...) it's not lack of will. You're just lazy and acting." (dad about depression)
"Don't do that, it looks gay"
"You've nearly killed me!"


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