# I dont feel like an Adult....do u feel like this????



## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

I am 22 years old and I for some reason do not feel like I am 22. I look like a grown, mature woman, but inside I feel that I am as young as 12 or 13 years old. I think that may have something to do with the reason why I dont have friends. Because basically most people in their 20s have already had many life experiences (sex, relationships, friends, etc) and I feel like I cannot relate to them at all. I feel like I have not matured like everyone else has, if that makes any sense. I still feel stuck in a teens mindset even though I do not do the things that most teens do nowadays. But its a weird situation to be in. I just feel like socially, I am stuck in a teens mindset. Can someone relate to this????


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## Duke of Prunes (Jul 20, 2009)

I can 100% relate to this. Most of the people I went to school with are off at university, have relationships (or at least, loads of sex, and they don't exaggerate about it before anyone suggests that, they actually do get loads), have jobs and some even have their own places. I just feel like a child compared to them, with no life experience at all, even though I know more about the world than them.


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## Zaiu (Jan 16, 2011)

yes , I know exactly what you mean. most people my age seem to have these exciting , eventful lives. It's like....where did I go wrong? lol. 
I feel left behind , in a way.


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## shyguy26 (Jan 15, 2011)

I don't feel like a child at all but I feel like I missed my childhood. I mean what good is a childhood if you are socially inept? That's how I always was and probably will be, socially awkward. Oh well!


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

I, too, can relate to this. I don't feel like I'm 19 at all. Actually going to be 20 in a month. 20?! I swear to god I still feel as though I'm 12 years old. A lot of people tend to pick the age 12, I noticed. I think its because thats the age where other people starting to have more life experiences, and us SAers didn't. So, its like we can't move on.


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## saara (Jun 7, 2010)

^Yep. I feel like a child. All the time. But I too feel like I didn't have a childhood, so I feel like I'm constantly stuck where I was 'left behind'. It's so depressing. 

People were thinking I was under 18 the other day. I feel like a child in every social situation, nearly everything in life, and I think people pick up on it right away so I'm singled out and feel so alone.:um


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## heyJude (Aug 1, 2009)

I know EXACTLY what you mean. I can totally relate. I'm 25, but still feel have that "teenager" mindset in some ways as I haven't really experienced a lot in life due to my condition.


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## Bird Lady (Jan 10, 2011)

First of all, I think that in today's society people are taking a lot longer to mature than you may think. Previous generations would go to college, get married, have kids, move to the suburbs all by the time they were in their early 20's (if not sooner). Now, many 20 somethings live at home with their parents and take much longer to "grow up." It's not necessarily a bad thing, as long as they are doing something- working, school... etc.

Secondly, just because someone has had sex does not mean they are more mature than you. There are a lot of obnoxious immature unsafe people out there doing it, that shouldn't be!

Thirdly, if you want to have more life experiences, then try to branch out and do new things (I need to work on this one myself!). Just the fact that you recognize that you have a "teen mindset" makes me think that you are more mature than you think! Do teens know they have an immature mind, or do most of them think they know everything, and are smarter than the adults around them? You obviously have figured something out that younger kids have not.

Last of all, be thankful that you weren't forced to grow up too quickly. I know people who have gone through traumatizing things early in life that caused them to miss out on their youth.


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## shyguy26 (Jan 15, 2011)

heyJude said:


> I know EXACTLY what you mean. I can totally relate. I'm 25, but still feel have that "teenager" mindset in some ways as I haven't really experienced a lot in life due to my condition.


I used to be that way until one fine evening, couple of years ago (i was 23 at that time), I found myself extremely drunk and doing really immature things at a party. The look I got from my friends that night was enough for me to start acting mature. lol


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## Recipe For Disaster (Jun 8, 2010)

yes i feel like ive had an incredibly difficult time switching my identity from child to adult and i'm gonna be 27 in a few months.


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## purplefruit (Jan 11, 2011)

I can definitely relate too...I'm nearly 24 years old but "socially" I feel young. I haven't had many life experiences and I feel like all my peers grew up without me. I lived at home throughout university (couldn't afford to go elsewhere) while a lot of people I knew went away or lived on rez. That's the kind of experience that will help you grow up so much. My parents have coddled me at home. I'm still sitting on the computer, playing video games, everyone I know has graduated university (I have too, but I took longer), they're travelling, have real jobs etc. And yeah I just haven't really matured since I was 12.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

I'm 21, but I feel more like I'm 15 or 16. But I also look younger. A lot of times people think I'm 16.
I think that I still feel like I'm 16 is because I missed a lot of things, mostly hanging out with people of my own ages. I don't have friends, I have never had a relationship or job. I missed a lot of things that help to grow up.


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## Jayne311 (Aug 20, 2009)

I feel like a child as well. It's like when I was younger, maybe 11 or 12, I was with my friends and we would talk about how we couldn't wait to get our first kiss or date someone or get apartments, and as the years went by they all did those things and I never did. So I feel like I'm stuck in some time loop in a way, like I'm living as a child still because I haven't done things that other kids did long ago. It feels like I'm standing in the year 2011, yet I'm reaching back and keeping one hand firmly holding onto 1999. 

I feel like if I did some things that are considered normal to have done by now, I would feel more grown up. I feel like if I could honestly say I had kissed a few guys, had a relationship or two, or taken a trip on my own, that I would feel much more my age.


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

im 17 but sometimes i feel like im 10 or 12


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## swap42 (Jan 16, 2011)

It's never too late to grow up.. I think a lot of people feel like children even if they have had all these experiences. I know for a fact (my dad's in AA) that alcoholics and addicts have to re-start their adolescence and go through all those growing up stages later in life, to make up for the time lost in drinking, so it can definitely be done.

I feel like a child in social situations, and I think it's because of a lack of experience, not immaturity, even though it might feel that way. So the more social experience we get, the more "mature" we'll feel, I'm thinking.


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## oreily85 (Dec 5, 2010)

Im 36 and still not grown up :lol:

I feel about 20, act about 16 and well... probably look my age hahaha Its too weird. I basically feel like Im 20 with some life experience.

I say stupid things, do stupid things and whenever I hear of anyone else my age, I get the impression they must be all mature and such. I can do mature things like be responsible, but I wouldnt say Im 'mature' in terms of how I act alot of the time.


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## AHolivier (Aug 6, 2009)

I'm so glad I'm not alone here. I'm 23, and I feel like I've missed out on so much. No relationships, no friends, and nowadays, going out in public is a huge challenge. Interacting with people while out only makes me feel smaller...and younger.


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## Kustamogen (Dec 19, 2010)

lol at 30 ....I think I have the maturity/humor level of a 17yr old haha


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## Squid24 (Nov 23, 2009)

^^ you say that like it's a bad thing 

Like everyone else here, I don't feel my age at all. I'll be 24 in weeks (arrrrrghh!) and I haven't yet had the experiences of an average 12 years old.


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## rosettas stoned (Jan 16, 2011)

Yeah I definitely feel this. For me, I think a large part of it is because I look like I'm 16. I definitely don't look my age and really wish I looked older. I got asked to show ID when I was buying a lottery ticket last week! -_-


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## THEuTASTEsOFeINKd (Apr 10, 2010)

Yeah, it sucks because I've had tons of oppurtunities to grow up and become mature. Such as girls pursuing me, having a girlfriend but never getting too physical with her, friends asking me to go to parties and junk but I just ran away all the time until I had nothing left to run from. Now I feel too hideous and unworthy and I don't think anybody will ever pursue me and if they did I wouldn't know what to do or say because I haven't been able to mature.

I kind of hate the mature people sometimes though because they're kind of boring and just want to talk about stupid stuff.

To show how immature I am, I'm 20 and thinking of getting a hedgehog in a couple of days!  I'm so excited.


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## Misanthropic (Jun 25, 2010)

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> I am 22 years old and I for some reason do not feel like I am 22. I look like a grown, mature woman, but inside I feel that I am as young as 12 or 13 years old. I think that may have something to do with the reason why I dont have friends. Because basically most people in their 20s have already had many life experiences (sex, relationships, friends, etc) and I feel like I cannot relate to them at all. I feel like I have not matured like everyone else has, if that makes any sense. I still feel stuck in a teens mindset even though I do not do the things that most teens do nowadays. But its a weird situation to be in. I just feel like socially, I am stuck in a teens mindset. Can someone relate to this????


Once you hit a certain age, I think 16-18, the difference between older people and younger people is exaggerated, imo. I don't particularly feel like an 'adult' or an adolescent. I think I have the same basic personality I did when I was 17 except I was more outgoing with my friends than I could ever see myself being now.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

I also feel disconnected from everyone else because of my lack of experiences, but I don't think of it as a lack of maturity. If anything, my problems have given me perspective on life that most people never gain. 

Even when I was in my early teens, I always felt disconnected from the others, so it's not that I haven't 'grown up' - rather, I have grown up along a very different trajectory than others. Despite my social problems, I am still glad that I am not typical in many respects.

Anyway, 'maturity' for the most part is just an arbitrary social convention. It is not always something to strive for.


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## lanzman (Jun 14, 2004)

I'm 45, going on 10. At least socially.


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## Kon (Oct 21, 2010)

I can relate. When I look back at my life, I feel like I'm at least 10 years behind everybody else in terms of social/emotional maturity. People much younger than myself were able to pick social/emotional stuff/cues much easier and much earlier than myself with relative ease while I struggled but I didn't realize at the time until I started looking back from the present situation. I figure by the time I'm about to die I will be as socially/emotionaly mature as an average adult.


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## plastics (Apr 11, 2010)

I feel the exact same way.

Even though I have been through adult situations, although not many, I still feel like a kid. I'm not good at taking care of things, and being responsible like most adults. I let things go, because I don't care much, I guess I'm laid back, but it's to an extreme. I didn't know how to write checks till like a year ago, and take care of that type of stuff. I don't know directions to places, because I never drive. I feel like a 12 year old.

People also think I'm younger than I actually am. This should be a good thing, but people think I'm in high school, and I'm 22. This one girl I work with, someone thought she was older than me, but she is two years younger than me. She is also like 5 inches shorter than me, and they still thought this.


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## FakeFur (Nov 4, 2009)

Yeah I feel that way sometimes. I'm 19, but still I feel like for my age, I should be doing more things. I should have friends that I hang out with, I should be able to get a job, I should be more confident. I just feel like I should be doing more. When I sit around bored, I often feel like I should be doing more things in my life. And I hate that my SA always keeps me from doing those sort of things.


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## Arisa1536 (Dec 8, 2009)

Hey rosetta :hs
I know exactly what you mean.. 
I feel the same, because life has gone by so incredibly fast i still think sometimes i am only 16-18 depending on my mood lol
Its just too daunting to think of myself as an adult in her mid twenties


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## Tristeza (Aug 22, 2010)

Me too, I feel like a child trapped in an adult's body. I missed a lot of experiences in my childhood and as a teenager, so I never grew up emotionally...


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## BlackJewel (Jan 17, 2011)

Yes, i feel the same way.. i'm 20 but i feel 15.. 
i had a childhood, but grew up too fast when my parents divorced.

i'm thinking and acting like a teenagers, and then being proud about my actions, which at the end of the day i regret.

:blank


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## Zadra (Jan 14, 2011)

I'm 25 and I still feel like a teenager. I'm immature, irresponsible, sleep all day and stay up all night playing video games when I don't have class, and my humor is retarded.

But I enjoy it. Maturing doesn't look fun.

Unless it's drinking wine at formal events or upscale cafes/live jazz joints. I don't know why, but anything involving wine instantly makes me feel like an articulate 40 year old. For a person with my personality, I know a decent amount about wine too (some say I'm becoming a snob) :X

But... outside of that, I'm making poop jokes and fake fart noises.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

I'm a total kid.


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## Aimeeviolette (Nov 23, 2010)

Yes, totally. I'm 18 and still feel like a kid. In fact I feel that I haven't flowered into that beautiful, intelligent, lovable woman I'm suppose to be.


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## Aimeeviolette (Nov 23, 2010)

Yes, totally. I'm 18 and still feel like a kid. In fact I feel that I haven't flowered into that beautiful, intelligent, lovable woman I'm supposed to be.


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## Aimeeviolette (Nov 23, 2010)

Oops double post. My bad


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## Bathory (Dec 26, 2010)

oreily85 said:


> Im 36 and still not grown up :lol:
> 
> I feel about 20, act about 16 and well... probably look my age hahaha Its too weird. I basically feel like Im 20 with some life experience.
> 
> I say stupid things, do stupid things and whenever I hear of anyone else my age, I get the impression they must be all mature and such. I can do mature things like be responsible, but I wouldnt say Im 'mature' in terms of how I act alot of the time.


Whew. A lot of the posters in here are younger, and while I don't at all discount what they're saying and how they feel, it's certainly nice to know that others my age are feeling this as well.

I'll be 35 in a few weeks, but I'm still the girl (see?, I feel EXTREMELY weird referring to myself as a woman) that'll get a big bowl of ice cream with magic shell topping, sit on the floor and watch standup comedy. I don't have a lot of experience with people my age, so I try to think back to what my mom did at that age, and there's just NO WAY she would have ever acted the way I do.

However, at the same time, you'll find me taking care of an infant, paying bills, making doctor's appointments, doing laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning house, etc., but it never feels normal or natural to me. I always feel like I'm just playing house. I just don't *get* the whole adult thing. I don't understand the mindset or how to attain it. I thought that repetition might do the trick, but nope. Still feel like I'm pretending.

I'm just a big kid at heart. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, but there has to be a balance, and I don't feel that my two sides (young adult and not-so-young-anymore adult) complement each other well. If I could find that balance and knew how to be a successful adult, I don't think I'd feel so weird about coming home from my bigbadworld adult job and throwing on a pair of footed, zip-up PJs, turning up the music and thrashing around like a spastic, drunk monkey for the rest of the night.

(btw--no, I don't own any footed PJs.....yet)

Also--I really need to just start my own blog because I talk entirely too much in these posts. ramblerambleramble


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## KumagoroBeam (Sep 15, 2008)

plastics said:


> I'm not good at taking care of things, and being responsible like most adults. I let things go, because I don't care much, I guess I'm laid back, but it's to an extreme. I didn't know how to write checks till like a year ago, and take care of that type of stuff. I don't know directions to places, because I never drive. I feel like a 12 year old.


I could have written this.


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## supersoshychick (Jun 4, 2009)

I can totally understand what you mean Viva. I'll be 21 in a few months and my mom said I don't act like one. Maybe it's because i've never had many experiences, such as partying, drinking, smoking, dating, clubbing, being outgoing, etc. I hate that I'm turning 21; things seem to get scarier as you get older. Damn! I can't even see myself being independent, but some days i have hope...


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## Zadra (Jan 14, 2011)

Aimeeviolette said:


> Yes, totally. I'm 18 and still feel like a kid. In fact I feel that I haven't flowered into that beautiful, intelligent, lovable woman I'm suppose to be.


You're 18. You still kind of are (legal adulthood doesn't mean anything) and you can get away with it for a few more years. You have plenty of time to do that flowering.


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## mysterioussoul (Jul 17, 2010)

i'm 24 but i feel about 16, and i look like it too. mentally i would consider myself mature but with life experiences and sometimes sociability i would be somewhat immature.


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## GatorNic (Dec 15, 2010)

im 26.. but feel like im 16 (and look like it, too!). its strange.. because my experiences are that of a 26 year old.. i went to college and even got my masters, had a job, am engaged... but inside, i feel like a fraud! im unemployed now and have little confidence that i can handle any job i get - my self-confidence is at an all-time low, makes me feel like i'm not an adult at all. sometimes i wonder what the heck im doing here in this life i lead. all my friends seem to be on a whole other level than me


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## nycdude (Mar 20, 2010)

I feel the same way, im 21 and i don't feel my age yet, and my parents keep telling to grow up, but how? I can't change the way i am. I still watch cartoons LOL, but i am a responsible person.


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## swap42 (Jan 16, 2011)

I'm almost 24, I have an office job, I live on my own, and I still play pokemon. Loser.


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## UnderMySkin (Sep 7, 2010)

swap42 said:


> I'm almost 24, I have an office job, I live on my own, and I still play pokemon. Loser.


There's nothing wrong with that.


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## Jennifer Clayton (Nov 19, 2010)

I hate feeling like I don't have enough experience as everyone else. I can relate to this completely. I feel that at age 18, I should have had sex, been in a good handful of relationships, have tons of friends, be social, happy, enjoying life. But I feel like I need to catch up to everyone else, because there is so much of this stuff I haven't done.

It irritates the heck out of me when others seem to take this life with so much ease while I constantly worry and and have so much anxiety. I feel like a child, completely lost and 100% overwhelmed in this adult world. Even people younger than me seem to be more grounded than I am.

I know it's partially a lie, that I'm just seeing what I fear; people aren't necessarily as happy as they seem. I am sure if people really knew me, they'd see I'm not nearly as happy as I seem. I so often feel so miserable. Like I am constantly playing catch-up. That I need to be better, stronger, more successful, more beautiful, more perfect, more EVERYTHING. Completely overwhelming, makes me want to give up.

I don't know how I "catch up" in being social, how to talk more, etc.


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## iwishiwasaway (Dec 7, 2006)

I can relate. I didn't have a major changing point. i just finished school. That experience, I didn't have relationships or sex. I still live at home. Have no car, not many true friends..feel like a loser. I have never been outgoing, i dont know many people...

Eh, there are more deeper reasons. I am not that responsible, and some time competent.


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## swap42 (Jan 16, 2011)

Jennifer Clayton said:


> I hate feeling like I don't have enough experience as everyone else. I can relate to this completely. I feel that at age 18, I should have had sex, been in a good handful of relationships, have tons of friends, be social, happy, enjoying life. But I feel like I need to catch up to everyone else, because there is so much of this stuff I haven't done.


I hate feeling like I've watched life pass me by, too. The only way to ever catch up is to start slow, and take baby steps. When I think about the mountain of good times I never had, it's overwhelming - but it starts with one experience.


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## travo (May 20, 2004)

To be fair, a lot of people might seem mature when you see them in public because that's a facade society wants everyone to have. It doesn't mean there's really these perfect, wise, amazing people all over the place. I mean think about that. Everyone has some kind of issues and flaws underneath. We don't always process things realistically with SA... but instead look at the world like everyone else was born perfect and we're somehow incredibly defective. We develop this mental picture with the word 'loser' branded on our forehead, and everyone else gets 'winner'. Just saying. Sometimes our perspective in life is based on social anxiety, and not fairness.

I mean so what if you haven't had the same experiences as other people. You're not bad because of it. You're not some anti-social deviant. You're just shy, it takes longer in your life to warm to things, but you are a capable and awesome human being still. How often do we forget that having SA. But you have to remember or what's the point to anything, to get up every day and be your own enemy?


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## GatorNic (Dec 15, 2010)

travo said:


> To be fair, a lot of people might seem mature when you see them in public because that's a facade society wants everyone to have. It doesn't mean there's really these perfect, wise, amazing people all over the place. I mean think about that. Everyone has some kind of issues and flaws underneath. We don't always process things realistically with SA... but instead look at the world like everyone else was born perfect and we're somehow incredibly defective. We develop this mental picture with the word 'loser' branded on our forehead, and everyone else gets 'winner'. Just saying. Sometimes our perspective in life is based on social anxiety, and not fairness.
> 
> I mean so what if you haven't had the same experiences as other people. You're not bad because of it. You're not some anti-social deviant. You're just shy, it takes longer in your life to warm to things, but you are a capable and awesome human being still. How often do we forget that having SA. But you have to remember or what's the point to anything, to get up every day and be your own enemy?


awesome.  very true. i wrote above how i feel like im a fraud in this life i lead and that my friends seem so far ahead of me. but you're right.. people put up facades, just in the same way that i have. most people probably have no clue that i feel like im 16 still


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## That guy over there (Jan 18, 2011)

Yeah im 17 and i feel like im 10 i guess its because ive never done any tennagery stuff like going out and getting drunk


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## Mae West (Sep 15, 2005)

Maybe you are socially behind your peers but there must be ways in which you are ahead of your peers. When I was your age I knew I was socially behind my peers but I also knew that my years of isolation had a positive side effect. Instead of always looking to others to validate my existence I learned to look to myself. I am an independent thinker and I usually choose to do what I think is right instead of choosing what others will approve of. I don't need as much social feedback about decisions I make because I am confident. I'm not saying I'm better than other people. I'm just saying that others who have had relationships all their lives probably take them for granted and can't appreciate them as much as an SA person.


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## silvercobra101 (Mar 25, 2010)

I definately feel like that! I'm 24 (going on 25) and I feel like what happened was that time sped up at an alarming speed when I turned about 14. As a consequence, I feel like I was transported into the time and body of a 24 year old, but am no older than 14. I often look at myself in the mirror and think "how could I be 24?" 

I still want to play with toys, but feel like it would be weird if I did so. That is, I did until about a month ago when I met a wonderful girl my age who said to me "do you still play with toys?" I said "well, no, not really" trying to sound more mature. Then she said "why not? I do!" and proceeded to brag about her lego collection. I promptly fell in love with her.


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## Caswell (Jan 14, 2011)

Because you dont live up to your responsiblities and avoid stuff - you dont have your life in your hands. Thats why you dont feel like an adult.


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## Silent Image (Dec 22, 2010)

I know the feeling. It's very frustrating.


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## faded flowers (Jan 19, 2011)

I'm 23, and have never been to a bar, i had a boyfriend for 4 years and we just recently broke up and now i am back at home with my dad and with no friends.. i see everyone i used to know posting pictures of them partying and going out ect. It makes me feel like i'm still 17 and sometimes i wish i were..


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## viv (Feb 8, 2009)

I feel like a child and I look like a child, although moving out has really helped.


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## ladylone (May 17, 2010)

You seriously just explained how I feel. I think like an adult, but I feel like a teenager. Mainly because I don't have enough life experience, and still live at home with my parents. Plus, not much has changed much in my life since graduating high school. It's sad because I feel like if I was to go move out on my own, a 17 year old would probably be able to take care of herself better than I could. Not saying that I'm not capable of taking care of myself, but they would probably be able to go out and get a job and make friends easier than I could.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> I am 22 years old and I for some reason do not feel like I am 22. I look like a grown, mature woman, but inside I feel that I am as young as 12 or 13 years old. I think that may have something to do with the reason why I dont have friends. Because basically most people in their 20s have already had many life experiences (sex, relationships, friends, etc) and I feel like I cannot relate to them at all. I feel like I have not matured like everyone else has, if that makes any sense. I still feel stuck in a teens mindset even though I do not do the things that most teens do nowadays. But its a weird situation to be in. I just feel like socially, I am stuck in a teens mindset. Can someone relate to this????


This used to b like me. but i discovered this was NOT bcoz i didn't do the things most people did, it ws coz i was stuck inside a personality mode that had been created when i was very young. It was a form of emotional detachment from people and the surroundings. No emotional connection to people, lack of interest in anything, can't make friends, can't keep a conversation going, only wanting to do things kids and teenagers would do, even though i'm in my mid 20s. I mentioned on this forum a while back that the key to getting out of this whole rut 4 me was to emphasize with others and it blew my mind wide open.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

It is coming to my attention that most people who feel like that have a personality mode activating that was created in the past and is what is typically making them feel like that.


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## someguy8 (Sep 10, 2010)

Im 21...feel and act like im 14-16. Id guess from a lack of life experiences.


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## Pumpkin Pie (May 3, 2010)

Yeah, I'm in my mid-twenties but I feel like I could be sixteen or eighteen. I sometimes feel I think younger than what I am. I also haven't had experiences that most people my age have - never had a boyfiend, I don't drive, no kids, etcs. Sometimes, when I am around teenagers I feel like I fit right in.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

I feel like a big child as well.
Have missed out on a lot of experiences that are expected of people my age and just don't feel ready for the responsibilities that comes with having turned 20, let alone nearing 30 >.>
Jesus christ, 30 in just over 3 years.. Oh lol, that can't end well ^^;


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## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)

I feel the same way. I still live with my parents, though. I can't imagine moving out and being on my own as an adult. ughh.


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## forestine (Apr 30, 2010)

I guess this is a thread bump, but I was just about to post this same thing, and feel like I need to say it somewhere.

I'm freaking out about a job interview soon and realized the reason I'm so nervous is because this is an interview for a "grown-up" job and I don't feel like one. I've lived on my own for five years, I just graduated with a bachelor degree, but I feel like I'm 13. It doesn't help that people always think I'm way younger than I am, no matter what I wear. I'm five feet tall and I guess have a baby face. I recently got rid of all my sparkly teenagey makeup, stopped dyeing my hair weird colours, and started to try to wear more mature clothes, but people still act like I'm a kid. When you're exposed to something enough, you start to believe it. I also never really made friends when I moved to the city, and I don't know how to drive, but I've never been sure that I wanted to. Anyway, I always thought when I was an adult I'd be way taller and slimmer and not afraid.


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## joe11 (Jan 22, 2011)

I am exactly like this. I have done nothing that most 14 year olds have experienced. I am 22 and feel like 14 or even 12.


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## Xande (Jul 18, 2011)

Feel same way lol. I have graduated from college and have a full time job now, but in my mind, don't know if I really treat it as a career lol. I'm currently living at home and although I could move out, don't want to deal with the bills if I'm only going to be paying for a place where I have to be alone.


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## rachelynn (Sep 12, 2008)

I'm 22 years old and I don't feel like an adult either, and I don't/can't "fit in" with how teens are. I don't really care about not having as much experience as others, but I just feel strange that I can't relate to them, or connect too well. I just feel like... a kid, but not a kid. Kind of confusing. I don't think I can ever "grow up" to be an "adult". I guess I'm just my own version of an adult, dependent, can't really socialize, yet I'm independent too. And that doesn't make sense. :um


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## joe11 (Jan 22, 2011)

Xande said:


> Feel same way lol. I have graduated from college and have a full time job now, but in my mind, don't know if I really treat it as a career lol. I'm currently living at home and although I could move out, don't want to deal with the bills if I'm only going to be paying for a place where I have to be alone.


This is what I am doing. :b I am paying for bills and I am alone after just moving out 3 weeks ago.


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## StarlightSonic (Jul 12, 2011)

I'm exactly the same, I'm 21 in a few months but still feel like a child. I never had much of a childhood or any life experience so I'm still stuck in a childlike mindset. It's frustrating.


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## hell to high water (Aug 1, 2011)

Your still young even at the age of 22 years but time heals anyway. I always feel like i just can't act my own age because i never had much of a childhood experience in the first place.
Just last weekend i got f**** by a cop for jumping a fence and i got so pissed i called him a pigf***er, likewise it didn't help


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## uponit01 (Sep 5, 2009)

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> I am 22 years old and I for some reason do not feel like I am 22. I look like a grown, mature woman, but inside I feel that I am as young as 12 or 13 years old. I think that may have something to do with the reason why I dont have friends. Because basically most people in their 20s have already had many life experiences (sex, relationships, friends, etc) and I feel like I cannot relate to them at all. I feel like I have not matured like everyone else has, if that makes any sense. I still feel stuck in a teens mindset even though I do not do the things that most teens do nowadays. But its a weird situation to be in. I just feel like socially, I am stuck in a teens mindset. Can someone relate to this????


Exactly THIS!


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## akt (Jun 21, 2011)

yep... I feel like a teenager still. Well, I feel like a 18 or 19 year that's not sure what to do with their life. I even look younger; people often ask my age and say they thought I was younger.


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## dontworrybehappy (Dec 4, 2010)

I feel the same way. I look young for my age too, so people treat me like a kid, which obviously doesn't help anything.


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## jg43i9jghy0t4555 (Jul 31, 2011)

I just grew up with the internet and have a really different, more relaxed and much less "do what you're told, do what people expect" attitude

I had a think the other week about, do I want to act like an adult. It was actually kinda scary. I can be serious some times, like with the stuff I know, stuff I've studied compulsively for career interests, but to be actually serious all the time and be responsible is just bad, I really like to live more carefree and irresponsible.

tbh I almost posted a facebook status about every young girl I can remember from school now having a kid. but oh god no, I try to be much more positive xD but you know.. I'd much rather be a kid forever, laugh at things forever, than see the negatives in life and be a slave to conformism and the same negative, depressed attitude that society in general has.

maybe it's just too much anime/manga and not really 'having to grow up' as a friend put it.


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## crystaltears (Mar 10, 2011)

yeah, I'm turning 20 this year but I don't really feel like an adult o_o


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## JerryMaguire (Jul 18, 2011)

I'm 23 and have the life experience of an 18 year old.


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## MaddyRose (Dec 25, 2009)

It seems the older I get, the more Teletoon I want to watch, rather than the inverse. Somethings not right with that...

I feel immature in the sense of people smarts, street smarts, and common sense. I'm lacking a bit in those and that's what makes me feel immature.


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## kilgoretrout (Jul 20, 2011)

I'm 23 although I sometimes feel like I'm 14... that's the age when everything went downhill for me. I'm trying to change though, do more "grown up" things.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

You people are stuck in a "personality mode" that was created many years ago. If you can see past the social anxiety into the abyss of underlying emotional pain, your healthy personality mode will have a chance to emerge and you will begin to feel your age, regardless of life experience.


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## JustWakeUp (Apr 27, 2009)

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> I am 22 years old and I for some reason do not feel like I am 22. I look like a grown, mature woman, but inside I feel that I am as young as 12 or 13 years old. I think that may have something to do with the reason why I dont have friends. Because basically most people in their 20s have already had many life experiences (sex, relationships, friends, etc) and I feel like I cannot relate to them at all. I feel like I have not matured like everyone else has, if that makes any sense. I still feel stuck in a teens mindset even though I do not do the things that most teens do nowadays. But its a weird situation to be in. I just feel like socially, I am stuck in a teens mindset. Can someone relate to this????


I have the exact same feeling about my self!


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## luctus (Mar 31, 2011)

I'm a combination of a 94-year-old and a 12-year-old. No middle ground. I wish there was some way to feel adult without imagining myself withered.

But, really, I'm just an anachronism. I should have lived in a different era altogether, I think.


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## anonymid (Oct 16, 2005)

I'm feeling less and less like I'll ever feel like an adult.


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## GreatEscape (Aug 1, 2011)

No I don't feel like an adult, even more so since being unemployed. Adults are expected to 'mingle' by society and have conversions, etc.. but not for me. 

I feel older inside since I was a teen though. This change whatever it is happened when I was around 21.


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## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

I only started to feel like an adult when I left my parents house for university last year.

Its really true what they say. You only truly appreciate being adult when you leave your parents' house.

Being away forced me to make decisions, put me in situations where I could either give into SA, or keep on going.

Its' been my best therapy


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## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

I don't, but that's because I'm 18 and not fully independent yet.


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## scum (Jun 30, 2011)

my high maturity wise was about 13 when i was roughly 17. i'm now hovering in the 7-9 range, and i'm really treading water since i dipped back below the peripheral axiom of relative consciousness. i think that when i hit age 3 i'll have to be committed.

and i've also always felt this way....



luctus said:


> I'm a combination of a 94-year-old and a 12-year-old. No middle ground. I wish there was some way to feel adult without imagining myself withered.


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## davidigm (Jun 13, 2011)

Every day I feel like a little boy, I look at all the people around me and think "they are doing important and serious stuff" while I feel everything I do is childish and immature.


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## mardy423 (Aug 27, 2008)

I'm 24, but i feel as if i am 15 or 16. You're not alone


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## Ashley1990 (Aug 27, 2011)

Hey I am also 21&#8230;I think U absolutely feel the same..wat I do..
I am employed in an office too..but I still feel that my mind is not matured at all..I too feel my age as if I m jst 14 years old&#8230;when I look at people older than me..I feel I am too small.I m scared how am I gonna face the upcoming challenges &#8230;.my marriage..child..kitchen&#8230;I m confused..I scared&#8230;.Well I m a well organized person but still I m not too involved in these household responsibilities&#8230;


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## sas111 (Oct 20, 2010)

Uh-huh, everyone from my past school has moved on with their lives relationships, jobs, responsibility, ect while i've been stuck, living like a little girl. I sure hope I grow out of this soon. It's not really that, i'm just really, reaaaaaally immature for my age I think.






:teeth


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

A lot of this is probably caused by the way your parents raised you. I'm thinking overprotection. A lot of you people probably had parents treating you like you can't do things for yourself because they worry about you making mistakes and so you were given almost zero responsibility and any time they saw you doing things, they stuck their nose in and gave too much advice or they were critical of the way you did things or they took over and did everything for you instead. Many overprotective parents also visibly display worry which is then internalised and so worry may also become associated with undertaking new and challenging things. How can a child develop an internal sense of competence and ability to handle challenges that come with life? They cannot trust themselves to handle things. They end up riddled with self-doubt and anxiety over their abilities and have no self confidence to undertake new things. They lack an internal guiding system that tells them how to perform and what to do next, because for them, their guiding system needs to come externally. Situations that are normally a cause for celebration, becomes a cause for alarm and panic for these people. If you were shy as a child, overprotection probably never allowed you to develop a way to master and regulate this anxiety generated during ambiguous, novel and new situations. New situations create an internal vacuum in the mind which is filled with anxiety and self-doubt. As adults these overprotected people feel more like children in the world, unable to trust themselves and their ability to understand things. The world feels overwhelming.


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## Meerple (Sep 8, 2011)

Yep. Coincidentally, I am doing the first of my 'learning to drive' things tomorrow, something I should have done 4 years ago. I usually reject the common definition of maturity and stuff and the values that go with it, but there doesn't seem to be a lot of other things to replace it with, or you know, anxiety gets in the way.


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## IsThisIt (Jun 22, 2011)

jimity said:


> A lot of this is probably caused by the way your parents raised you. I'm thinking overprotection. A lot of you people probably had parents treating you like you can't do things for yourself because they worry about you making mistakes and so you were given almost zero responsibility and any time they saw you doing things, they stuck their nose in and gave too much advice or they were critical of the way you did things or they took over and did everything for you instead. Many overprotective parents also visibly display worry which is then internalised and so worry may also become associated with undertaking new and challenging things. How can a child develop an internal sense of competence and ability to handle challenges that come with life? They cannot trust themselves to handle things. They end up riddled with self-doubt and anxiety over their abilities and have no self confidence to undertake new things. They lack an internal guiding system that tells them how to perform and what to do next, because for them, their guiding system needs to come externally. Situations that are normally a cause for celebration, becomes a cause for alarm and panic for these people. If you were shy as a child, overprotection probably never allowed you to develop a way to master and regulate this anxiety generated during ambiguous, novel and new situations. New situations create an internal vacuum in the mind which is filled with anxiety and self-doubt. As adults these overprotected people feel more like children in the world, unable to trust themselves and their ability to understand things. The world feels overwhelming.


I completely agree with this. Kids shouldn't be brought up to have so much reliance on other people. They need to learn that much of the time they're going to have to do things themselves.

As a kid I would whine when I didn't want to do things and my parents often just let it slide. I didn't like going to the houses of friends with strict parents but now I understand that their parents actually knew wtf they they were doing, unlike mine. These kids all turned out better than me.


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## Fenren (Sep 20, 2009)

I'm more like a teenager in regards to my living conditions and life experiences, also I suppose I can seem immature around others. I can act my age when I need to though, it's not like I enjoy carrying on the way I do and having such an empty life.

I'd love to be living alone and stuff and have more responsibility now, although my SA is a serious barrier it wouldn't be impossible. It's more financial constraints that are keeping me down.


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## watashi (Feb 6, 2008)

jimity said:


> A lot of you people probably had parents treating you like you can't do things for yourself because they worry about you making mistakes and so you were given almost zero responsibility and any time they saw you doing things, they stuck their nose in and gave too much advice or they were critical of the way you did things or they took over and did everything for you instead.


Sounds like my parents. I had that feeling when I was around 20 and was going from being a teenager to becoming a young adult. I kept telling myself "I'm an adult" but I felt like a kid. Then later I had a period of financial independency from my parents and it fixed that. I had a job, rented an appartment and lived alone for a while. I had to pay the bills, cook for myself all the time and do everything myself. And I didn't have my parents trying to control my every move by asking where I'm going and when I will be back or trying to teach me to do things their way.

I don't feel much younger now. I feel insecure for the lack of some life experiences most people my age have.


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## pork (Sep 4, 2011)

I use to believe that I was so behind my peers growing up and entering adulthood. I use to cry and complain when I was 20 that I felt like a 13 year old. 

What changed for me was when I moved alone to another state. I found a job all on my own and was successful with no help. I made a life for myself from nothing and no support. I just went out there and took a risk.

Sometimes you need to take risks to prove to yourself that you really are as capable as any other adult.


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## SuperSky (Feb 16, 2011)

Adults frighten me. People around my age who are adultish make me want to bolt out of the room. I'm not mature and I'm afraid of all the typical responsibilities of adults. Ever since I was a kid I knew that I never wanted to become an adult, and I've never understood the people who wanted to. With my 22nd birthday coming up, I'm wishing I'd put a stop to birthdays at my 18th.


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## mysterioussoul (Jul 17, 2010)

definitely and even teens have more life experience than myself. i'm just really behind. i'm more 12 than 24.


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## rubyruby (Jun 17, 2009)

Most of you are 7 to 10 years behind other generations in terms of maturing. You are extending your adolescence. It is a generational thing. You also will live longer.


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## NoName99 (Jul 3, 2011)

I keep telling myself that I'm a grown man. Thing is, there's an expectation of how people should act and live their lives as adults. And since I don't live up to those expectations (at least in my head) due to lots of missed life experiences, the end result is I feel inferior to people my age, and even people younger than me. Some of them have kids already, and that's mind boggling. Feeling like I'm 18 is perhaps more of a wish-I-could-go-back-in-time thing, though, because, if I think about it, in many ways I'm a lot more mature than I was, but in others I just didn't grow up.


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## Addler (Apr 28, 2011)

It's the SA more than anything that makes me feel like a child. When I was younger, it was still embarrassing to be afraid of the public and do things on my own, but that was more acceptable for a child, and "she's just shy" covered it. But now that I'm in my mid-20s and living on my own, being afraid to go grocery shopping, go to the bank, or call people are major shortcomings.


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## nycdude (Mar 20, 2010)

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> I am 22 years old and I for some reason do not feel like I am 22. I look like a grown, mature woman, but inside I feel that I am as young as 12 or 13 years old. I think that may have something to do with the reason why I dont have friends. Because basically most people in their 20s have already had many life experiences (sex, relationships, friends, etc) and I feel like I cannot relate to them at all. I feel like I have not matured like everyone else has, if that makes any sense. I still feel stuck in a teens mindset even though I do not do the things that most teens do nowadays. But its a weird situation to be in. I just feel like socially, I am stuck in a teens mindset. Can someone relate to this????


100% agree on everything u said I'll be turning 22 in December


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## NoName99 (Jul 3, 2011)

^ You look like a grown, mature woman too? 

(I know. Sorry, couldn't resist )


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## dreamin away (Sep 8, 2011)

I feel the same way also. I thought the awkwardness would have gone by now, but it remains. I don't feel as if I will ever 'catch up' to the way everyone around me feels. I'm nervous, shy, and no more confident than I was at a younger age. I'm 27. I substitute, but I don't get the opportunity to make much money because I won't sub at the middle school or high school. I tried once, and I was terrified. I don't 'feel' old enough to be authoritative over those students, even though I've been an adult for some time. I was nervous and they could all tell.


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## tranquildream (Nov 17, 2010)

forestine said:


> I guess this is a thread bump, but I was just about to post this same thing, and feel like I need to say it somewhere.
> 
> I'm freaking out about a job interview soon and realized the reason I'm so nervous is because this is an interview for a "grown-up" job and I don't feel like one. I've lived on my own for five years, I just graduated with a bachelor degree, but I feel like I'm 13. It doesn't help that people always think I'm way younger than I am, no matter what I wear. I'm five feet tall and I guess have a baby face. I recently got rid of all my sparkly teenagey makeup, stopped dyeing my hair weird colours, and started to try to wear more mature clothes, but people still act like I'm a kid. When you're exposed to something enough, you start to believe it. I also never really made friends when I moved to the city, and I don't know how to drive, but I've never been sure that I wanted to. Anyway, I always thought when I was an adult I'd be way taller and slimmer and not afraid.


That's how I feel about job interviews too =( I graduate in May and I just got my first part-time job(well, one that will actually last more than a few weeks). And I'm working with teenagers because I'm just a cashier at a grocery/drugstore. The sad thing is, I get along better with the teenagers than my own age group. I'm also only 5 feet tall and people treat me like I'm a baby. I'm 21 but everyone thinks I'm still a teenager because of my shortness plus how I act(shy demure=child). I always imagined myself to be confident and have friends by the time I was in college. Lol, I'm still the same unconfident and shy little girl that doesn't know what's going on half the time.


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## Ckg2011 (Aug 9, 2011)

I'm 28 and I don't feel like an adult either.


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## IvyAndRoses (Sep 4, 2011)

Absolutely. I feel like I'm stuck at 19, back when I had somewhat of a social life and experiences. Like I've lost 10 years and cannot relate to anyone... except younger people which makes me comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time.


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## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

Yes. I'm 23, and in many ways I still feel like a scared child hiding under the covers from monsters. :\


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## Marakunda (Jun 7, 2011)

I'm very mature, but I sometimes feel like I'm a little kid, like I need so much more help then others... That's why I feel pathetic sometimes, I hate it. 

I feel more like a boy than a young man, sometimes...

My mindset is mature, but my actions are sometimes immature, that's only because of fear though...


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## thisgirl (Nov 12, 2010)

Yes I often times feel way younger than my age, mainly because people treat me as such. My mom pays for things for me, purchased me a car and pays my insurance. She does everything for me. My friends all live on their own, their parents stopped taking care of them years ago. Some of them even have kids now. Even my friends treat me like I'm not the same age as them. They call me cute and adorable like I'm a little kid. I'm 5 feet tall so I kinda look like a kid. One of my friends likes to make a big deal out of everything I do. Like the time I decided to get a short haircut she said something like "I never gave you permission to do that!" I know she means it in a joking way because I don't need anyone's permission to do anything, but it still made me realize that this is how she views me. As someone who is young/small/childlike and cannot make my own decisions. Even my mom still makes a big deal if i tell her I'm going on a date or going out with a guy. When I go out, I don't even like to tell her where I'm going. I'm 24 years old and I'm never gonna feel like a grown-up if people keep treating me like this. Very frustrating.


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## izeoftheworld (Aug 19, 2011)

I alternately feel like a moody, awkward teenager and like an old soul, usually like both at once even though that doesn't really make sense. I certainly don't feel like I assume most people in their early twenties feel.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

rubyruby said:


> Most of you are 7 to 10 years behind other generations in terms of maturing. You are extending your adolescence. It is a generational thing. You also will live longer.


Yeah, I think I notice this a lot too. Gen Y sems to take a lot longer to mature which frustrates the hell out of the older generations. In Australia, it isn't uncommon to find people in their mid to late twenties still living at home with their parents. Hell, many people married still live with their parents here. Of course a lot of this has to do with the extremely high house prices in Oz.

I think Gen Y likes to live more in the moment and don't like being to serious and are more fun loving which serves to make them come off more "immature" than the older generations.

The blokes at work all act younger than their age and clown around a lot and don't take things seriously. If my dad saw how they behaved he would be appalled. He sees young adults drinking and getting drunk or doing dangerous things and he always says "they sould be shot!" because he feels disgusted with their "childish" behaviour. My dad feels ashamed to muck around and have fun because he thinks that "adults should behave as adults".

There's one thing else I should mention. When I was at school and we went on excursions and other high schools were their I could immediately notice my school was more immature and unintelligent compared to other schools. Maybe we just had less awareness of ourselves.


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## Scotty23 (Sep 9, 2011)

I'm the same. I'm 23 years old and I have the life experience of a 9 year old. No friends, no relationships, no sex, and worst of all no good memories. It's really upsetting when I see how far along my peers are socially compared to me. The closer the peer; like siblings, cousins, etc the more upsetting it is.


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## donttalkmuch (Oct 19, 2008)

I'm 31, and I feel like a 15 year old.


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## LynnNBoys (Jul 13, 2011)

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> I am 22 years old and I for some reason do not feel like I am 22. Can someone relate to this????


I'm 41 and I don't feel like an adult some days. I wonder how I ended up being responsible for a house and two kids. I look at my husband and I wonder how we went from 19 year old kids in college to being "adults." It was bizarre the first time someone called me "Davin's mom." Who me?

The feeling never goes away as far as I can tell. My mom says she doesn't feel like she's 67.


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## Christina123 (May 26, 2011)

Bc my SA have made me miss out on so much I feel like a teenager.


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## pheonixrising (Sep 7, 2011)

I feel the same way. I've never felt my age, but now that I'm really out of my teen years and trying to be an adult, it's really apparent. Maybe that's why my only close friends are all teenagers. =/ But I don't relate to people my age. They all want to party and drink and smoke, and I'm not into all of that.


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## SicilianuAmericanu (Jul 6, 2011)

Yes, Yes, Yes I can relate to this 100% I feel like I'm like I'm 12 years old but I'm 21. It's like I haven't had any of the experiences that your suppose to have. I feel like mentally I'm not at where I'm suppose to be.


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## lynnb (May 10, 2011)

I do not feel like an adult. I'm 43. My therapist I always telling me I am not a child. With my fears, I really feel like one. I don't think I'll ever get over my fears.


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## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

EarlGreyDregs said:


> I, too, can relate to this. I don't feel like I'm 19 at all. Actually going to be 20 in a month. 20?! I swear to god I still feel as though I'm 12 years old. A lot of people tend to pick the age 12, I noticed. I think its because thats the age where other people starting to have more life experiences, and us SAers didn't. So, its like we can't move on.


I agree!!!!!


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## HackBauer (Aug 15, 2011)

Its weird because im a lot more mature than most people my age, but at the same time I do feel like im stuck at 13-14 (when I last had a social life). 

The worst thing is the other day my older (ladies man) brother said I wasn't a man but instead a little boy. even though hes accomplished nothing with his life and is a bigger spoiled brat than anyone I know, it hurt really bad because of the way I feel in regards to feeling im still in my early teens.


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## arandomgirl (Aug 19, 2011)

saara said:


> ^Yep. I feel like a child. All the time. But I too feel like I didn't have a childhood, so I feel like I'm constantly stuck where I was 'left behind'. It's so depressing.
> 
> People were thinking I was under 18 the other day. I feel like a child in every social situation, nearly everything in life, and I think people pick up on it right away so I'm singled out and feel so alone.:um


Same situation exactly....it sucks


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## arandomgirl (Aug 19, 2011)

dreamin away said:


> I feel the same way also. I thought the awkwardness would have gone by now, but it remains. I don't feel as if I will ever 'catch up' to the way everyone around me feels. I'm nervous, shy, and no more confident than I was at a younger age. I'm 27. I substitute, but I don't get the opportunity to make much money because I won't sub at the middle school or high school. I tried once, and I was terrified. I don't 'feel' old enough to be authoritative over those students, even though I've been an adult for some time. I was nervous and they could all tell.


I have to do field placement at a high school in a few weeks...at a city school none-the-less. Im SO SCARED. And people think that I am under 18 (I'll be 22 in a few months)....I know what you mean I feel the exact way...even with elementary school kids I feel weird being authoritative over them because I relate to them and have the same interests as most of them...


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## DWM (Sep 8, 2011)

Let me tell you a little secret. People who have "matured" and had more "life experiences" than us do not have it better. They are not happier, do not feel more fulfilled. They may appear to be confident and more well-adjusted, but it's an illusion. The vast majority have had more experiences, but they screwed them up. The vast majority have gotten divorced, are struggling with horrible child-support and child-care issues that sap their finances and energy. They can't change jobs or explore options because they're boxed in. All that life experience hasn't gotten them anywhere.

So I say revel in who you are. Enjoy your extended youth. Don't ever grow up if you don't want to. Think the grass is greener for the normals? It's not. Many of them probably secretly wish they were you - free of encumbrances with an entire world of options to explore.

Go to WalMart or some big store. Look at the people. 99% of them over a certain age - look at their faces. Tired. Grumpy. Sapped of hope. Sapped of vitality. It's shocking.

There's no reason to envy them. Growing up is not what it's cracked up to be.


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## Ivan AG (Sep 29, 2010)

Yes, I feel like a child compared to my peers who are much more mature and wiser.

I have not had a single romantic relationship in my life. No driver's licence. No interest in attending parties or night clubs. 

It's as if I'm a little child compared to most of the people my age.


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## Cashew (May 30, 2010)

Yeah people do pick 12 a lot! That is how old I feel too because I'm just as dependent as I was at that age


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## TheLostCube (Jun 29, 2011)

I'm the opposite and feel much older than I am. It makes it hard to relate to people my age.


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## tot (Aug 19, 2011)

Im 43 and dont look or act my age. I never had any friends so never developed mentally growing up and i wouldnt say ive grown up. Im unable to do or dont know how to do things that most 43 yr olds know what to do. never bn able to cope with any social situation or any aspect of life like school,college,work,holidays,relationships etc etc. So feel permanently left behind and left out and nobody out there to show me the way!


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## Rest or Real? (Apr 1, 2011)

luctus said:


> I'm a combination of a 94-year-old and a 12-year-old. No middle ground. I wish there was some way to feel adult without imagining myself withered.
> 
> But, really, I'm just an anachronism. I should have lived in a different era altogether, I think.


This. Or not lived at all, heh.


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## tot (Aug 19, 2011)

Wel i dont really know how to become an adult and it all seems so overwhelming to me especially if you dont have any positive role models and nobodys shown you how to do it!


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## Supalady05 (Nov 11, 2005)

luctus said:


> I'm a combination of a 94-year-old and a 12-year-old. No middle ground. I wish there was some way to feel adult without imagining myself withered.
> 
> But, really, I'm just an anachronism. I should have lived in a different era altogether, I think.


I often feel like this. It's like, I'm either way too mature for certain situations or I'm too childish to possibly understand. It can be really annoying at times.


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## Justlost (Mar 24, 2012)

I see this thread is old but i'll comment anyway.

I'm 24 and feel like I am still 16. I cant even look at women my own age and think I'd ever have a shot. When I was 16 I left high school and did homeschool. That was a terrible choice and has alot to do with how I feel today. Missing out on those last 2 years of high school around people my own age screwed me up.

I have been taking community college classes over the past few years and still trying find a way to feel like an adult. You would think college would help, but my lack of socializing puts a stop to that.


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## InMyDreams55 (Apr 1, 2011)

I'm turning 24 this year and don't feel like it at. all. It's weird. I feel "younger"...even though i am still young.


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## Flip Side (Aug 8, 2011)

I can totally relate to most of you guys. 

I'm 19 and compared to a lot of my peers the same age group as me, it's seems they've accomplished and experienced a lot more things then I have. They go to universities, got jobs, they've been here & done that, etc etc.. It just feels like these people are progressing and developing faster than I am.

I know it's not good to compare yourself with other people, but sometimes I just feel inadequate seeing people doing so much when I'm browsing through Facebook and other social media.


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## NumeroUno (Oct 23, 2009)

Same problem - cept i don't look 23, look about 16-18. Feel awkward doing anything "mature" or "adult" and double take if im referred to as a man by people who know my age even.


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## radiancia (Apr 6, 2011)

DWM said:


> Let me tell you a little secret. People who have "matured" and had more "life experiences" than us do not have it better. They are not happier, do not feel more fulfilled. They may appear to be confident and more well-adjusted, but it's an illusion.
> 
> There's no reason to envy them. Growing up is not what it's cracked up to be.


This. People do what they think they're supposed to do, it doesnt make it more fufilling. I absolutely still act and feel more like a kid than an adult...but at the same time I dont want, nor do I feel ready to, completely be like an adult. Im partly scared that being an adult means turning my back on things I still enjoy, that bring me so much happiness that I wouldnt have if I left home and lived on my own. The big question is why do we feel we have to conform? Sometimes its that pressure that bothers us more, than the lack of adult experiences itself.


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## Catnap (Dec 5, 2011)

jimity said:


> A lot of this is probably caused by the way your parents raised you. I'm thinking overprotection. A lot of you people probably had parents treating you like you can't do things for yourself because they worry about you making mistakes and so you were given almost zero responsibility and any time they saw you doing things, they stuck their nose in and gave too much advice or they were critical of the way you did things or they took over and did everything for you instead. Many overprotective parents also visibly display worry which is then internalised and so worry may also become associated with undertaking new and challenging things. How can a child develop an internal sense of competence and ability to handle challenges that come with life? They cannot trust themselves to handle things. They end up riddled with self-doubt and anxiety over their abilities and have no self confidence to undertake new things. They lack an internal guiding system that tells them how to perform and what to do next, because for them, their guiding system needs to come externally. Situations that are normally a cause for celebration, becomes a cause for alarm and panic for these people. If you were shy as a child, overprotection probably never allowed you to develop a way to master and regulate this anxiety generated during ambiguous, novel and new situations. New situations create an internal vacuum in the mind which is filled with anxiety and self-doubt. As adults these overprotected people feel more like children in the world, unable to trust themselves and their ability to understand things. The world feels overwhelming.


Yup, this is how it was for me. Every new thing I did was a new opportunity that someone was going to screw me over, that I was going to mess up and get hurt, that I might get killed, that I might ruin my life..etc etc etc.... I don't think my parents greeted any of my new undertakings with simply joy and enthusiasm, lol.


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## Prometheus7 (Mar 22, 2012)

Siringo said:


> Yeah people do pick 12 a lot! That is how old I feel too because I'm just as dependent as I was at that age


:ditto


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

I'm 22 as well and feel exactly the same, I'm still very childish in a lot of ways.


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## xTaylor (Aug 18, 2011)

I'm turning 18 soon and I feel 14. When I was 14 I had so many fun new experiences. It was when I met my boyfriend, hung out with new people and left the house everyday just doing random things. I think I just want to be stuck in that time period. I graduate in may and like someone said earlier, the world seems overwhelming.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

No. I don't feel this age at all!


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## Bret5089 (Mar 23, 2012)

Yeah I pretty much feel like a 15 year old trying to find his way with a bunch of adults and I'm 26


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## matsuri (Feb 26, 2012)

you have taken the words right out of my mouth.
i have this exact same thought every day. i couldn't have said it better myself.


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## Lone Raccoon (Jun 5, 2011)

meganmila said:


> No. I don't feel this age at all!


In one sense 22 is really young, when you look at life in its entirety. However I also feel younger than 22. Since I am unemployed and living with my mom, it just feels like a continuation of teen years. I guess if I had to be specific, I feel 16. I had a really slow devlopment process, I was still playing Legos at age 14. Add in the fact that I am still 5ft 4", and it's pretty comical. I will be 16 for life i suppose. Funny yet scary.


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## Ckg2011 (Aug 9, 2011)

I don't feel 29 at all, I feel stupid and weird around people my own age. I just can't relate to them at all. I still feel like I am a teenager in a way. I feel like I should ask permission before I do something or go somewhere.


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## CleverUsername (Feb 7, 2011)

Yes yes yes yes, intellectually I matured young, but emotionally stunted at age 11 or 12.


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## rhames (Feb 27, 2012)

im right there with ya... im 30 n i still feel like im stuck menatlly as a teenager... wasnt sure if it was cause of SA or the fact i didnt have much of a childhood... cause at age of 12 on up i was stuck taking care of my lil brothers


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## UKPhobe (Oct 22, 2008)

Yeah definitely, I can often be quite immature for my age (a habit I've never been able to shake off) and given my lack of life successes I often don't feel like an adult.


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## JenN2791 (Aug 21, 2011)

jimity said:


> A lot of this is probably caused by the way your parents raised you. I'm thinking overprotection. A lot of you people probably had parents treating you like you can't do things for yourself because they worry about you making mistakes and so you were given almost zero responsibility and any time they saw you doing things, they stuck their nose in and gave too much advice or they were critical of the way you did things or they took over and did everything for you instead. Many overprotective parents also visibly display worry which is then internalised and so worry may also become associated with undertaking new and challenging things. How can a child develop an internal sense of competence and ability to handle challenges that come with life? They cannot trust themselves to handle things. They end up riddled with self-doubt and anxiety over their abilities and have no self confidence to undertake new things. They lack an internal guiding system that tells them how to perform and what to do next, because for them, their guiding system needs to come externally. Situations that are normally a cause for celebration, becomes a cause for alarm and panic for these people. If you were shy as a child, overprotection probably never allowed you to develop a way to master and regulate this anxiety generated during ambiguous, novel and new situations. New situations create an internal vacuum in the mind which is filled with anxiety and self-doubt. As adults these overprotected people feel more like children in the world, unable to trust themselves and their ability to understand things. The world feels overwhelming.


Unfortunately, this is exactly how I was raised. I was never allowed to make mistakes, and still am not. Growing up, if I accidentally spilled a bit of water in the kitchen, hell broke loose. This still happens today. Sometimes I'd be a bit tired, mind god-knows-where, and I accidentally spill a teeny bit of water. As I'm wiping it up with a cloth, my parents would catch me doing so and hell breaks loose.

My parents never really had confidence in me. I was always put down. The times I won awards in school for good writing or whatever, it was nothing to them. They told me I was still a stupid person. When I used to take graphic design seriously, I was told my work really sucks, so why would anyone want to work with me. Now that I'm working towards broadcast journalism, I am told I am too ugly for it. And now there are times I feel I AM too ugly to be on TV. And then I feel like I am not good enough in any aspect of life to even be in such a great industry.

All my areas of confidence (or lack of)... I've been looking to people for it. Basically validation, which I've been told is a major no-no. Sometimes I just can't help it.. so I start acting like a kid... or feeling like one until someone praises me, and "gives me freedom" that my parents did not give. It's strange, I look to my own friends for permission to do things. Now that I've just realized that, I feel even more odd...


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## radiancia (Apr 6, 2011)

jimity said:


> A lot of this is probably caused by the way your parents raised you. I'm thinking overprotection. A lot of you people probably had parents treating you like you can't do things for yourself because they worry about you making mistakes and so you were given almost zero responsibility and any time they saw you doing things, they stuck their nose in and gave too much advice or they were critical of the way you did things or they took over and did everything for you instead. Many overprotective parents also visibly display worry which is then internalised and so worry may also become associated with undertaking new and challenging things. How can a child develop an internal sense of competence and ability to handle challenges that come with life? They cannot trust themselves to handle things. They end up riddled with self-doubt and anxiety over their abilities and have no self confidence to undertake new things. They lack an internal guiding system that tells them how to perform and what to do next, because for them, their guiding system needs to come externally. Situations that are normally a cause for celebration, becomes a cause for alarm and panic for these people. If you were shy as a child, overprotection probably never allowed you to develop a way to master and regulate this anxiety generated during ambiguous, novel and new situations. New situations create an internal vacuum in the mind which is filled with anxiety and self-doubt. As adults these overprotected people feel more like children in the world, unable to trust themselves and their ability to understand things. The world feels overwhelming.


Absolutely this is part of it. Part of me had such a great childhood, thats why I dont want it to end...I cant see how anything about being an adult can match or exceed my childhood life. But the flipside of that great childhood, was that I was sheltered and protected. And I know partly as a by product of my own anxious mother, I learned anxious traits. Doing something new = scary, must be prepared for ALL possible things that can go wrong. I was praised and supported - probably too much, that failure became just the worst possible scenario, so shameful.


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## Prometheus7 (Mar 22, 2012)

I don't feel like an adult at all.

I just feel as if I was never supported or encouraged to try or do anything at all.

Maybe not over-protectiveness but just general indifference towards whatever I try to do.


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## TastelessCookie (Mar 25, 2012)

I can relate to that. I'm 23, but deep inside I feel I am 16. Honestly, I believe I'm stuck in my adolescence. I'm still obsessing over bands and tv shows and hang posters on my walls. Is this weird? I don't know. I feel like I can't face the reality of my age and all the obligations that adult life has. It bothers me a lot.


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## ang (Mar 16, 2012)

Me too, I'm 30 now. I've been married for a year, but I've been unemployed for eight months. I too don't feel like an adult, I grew up with overprotective parents and I'm very shy and have social anxiety. I'm also short, with a baby face so I look young. I look and feel like a teenager. I even feel inferior and a bit jealous of my husband's younger sister, who is 25 and married, and has a professional career she likes and has achieved a lot, unlike my husband and I, who haven't done as much as her. I wish I could've done as much as my peers, older brother and those who are younger than me, but I don't think I'm capable of it, esp. since I'm so shy. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone and there are others who can relate.


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## Wolf95 (Apr 1, 2012)

1000% match here. I also feel like I'm 12 or so, maybe because I didn't do what I was suposed to at that age, namely friends, and I guess that age is when interesting things start to happen. So I feel stuck in that phase and can only move forward after doing what i was supposed to do and take the next step. I guess that is the reason I want to be that age again, go back to middle school and do every thing again, the right way this time. When I see those kids I just want to be one of them, they are so happy and have everything I wanted to have in their age, and even now. Their life is without a doubt much more fullfiled and interesting than mine, I feel envy, is really awkward. And physically I also look younger, maybe 14 or 15, I just don't know if that's good or not... But i guess in a way it distances me even more from people my age.


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## I wish i was normal (May 28, 2012)

I'm 24 but feel about 18.


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## Aries33 (Sep 22, 2011)

I feel 10 years younger im 34 now ,well that's when everything started to **** up for me since ive been stuck with this s.a problem


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## jim11 (May 23, 2011)

101% I can relate. I always feel I can't manage important things that other adults able to do. It's like I'm not mature and wise enough to do such stuff.


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## MrGilligan (Apr 29, 2012)

So I'm not the only one... I'm also 22 and feel stuck at about 14-16. Even though I'm a woman and have adult responsibilities, I feel like a teenaged girl... I know the age difference isn't really that much, but I just feel so immature sometimes. I love video games, and get all fangirl-ish about movies and television... I'm scared of sex and never want to have a spouse or children... Whenever I have a job, I feel like I'm under-qualified even though I'm not. The whole time I'm doing my job, I'm always thinking, "holy ****. I can't believe they are actually trusting ME to do this..." 

My older sister and other people from my grade seem to have outgrown all that, but I feel like I'm never going to grow up. Growing up is the worst thing that can happen to someone. I don't want to do it, and don't feel like it's going to happen unless I force it... But I also feel like I need to force it, because I can't keep being a child forever.


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## Mlochail (Jul 11, 2012)

I just turned 21 and totally feel like 14-16... I still react and act like a teenager of that age.
I make retarded jokes mostly laughing alone while all the rest just stays poker face. I will LOL like mad with almost everything at The Simpsons or Family Guy but barely chuckle at South Park. People at home call me an imbecile because of this and I will feel ashamed and retarded =/
But I can't help it, that's just the way I am.

It seems as if, I someday turned 15 and just stayed there while the rest went by. Not sure what to think about this, good or bad?


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## emmanemma (Apr 16, 2012)

just look at my picture, would you believe i just had my 28th birthday


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## Emerald3 (Sep 17, 2009)

I have always related to this! 

I still kinda look in my teens, and I don't dress like an 'adult' either. I feel I missed the teen experiences that all my friends had. Yes I had crushes but no boyfriend through school, whereas the majority of my friends had at least one.


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## 00mari (Jan 30, 2012)

I can totally relate to most of you. I feel like I'm 12 or 13 years old and I've been told I look and act like a teenager by almost everyone I meet.

I feel inferior to "normal" people my age and I cannot relate to them at all. I work as a cashier and most of my co-workers are teenagers and I feel way more comfortable talking to them than people my age. Most people my age have moved out of their mom/parents house, have kids, are in long term relationships, have some sort of college degree, etc. and I haven't experienced any of that yet.


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## Boring Loser (Oct 21, 2011)

People tell me i look half of my age, but i don't think i look that young. I dress much younger too, because i just don't know how to dress myself. I enjoy some cartoons and movies that are meant for young kids. I don't wear makeup. I'm not married or in a relationship, and i don't have kids. I spend a lot of time with my parents. But i don't feel bad about any of this stuff. Except the not knowing how to dress myself. That kind of sucks.


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## khammy (Jul 6, 2012)

i understand u 100% i thought i was the only one! im 20 and i have nothing going for me. my friends are in university doing interns and have their goals and getting jobs have bfs and everything and i barely have friends.

i cant do anything im like a 12 yr old. idk what to do with my future i dnt have a job and i dnt have relationships or anything...


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## TastelessCookie (Mar 25, 2012)

Is it cool that I'm 23 and still obsessing over bands, buying posters yada yada yada?


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## applesauce5482 (Apr 26, 2012)

yeah, i feel younger than my actual age


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## Michael127 (Dec 10, 2011)

I have this thought a lot: "immature me." A part of me wants to go back to the semi-carefree time of childhood when I feel stressed. But, that is counterproductive. I know this in my head, at least.


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## littleblackdress (Sep 1, 2012)

I know what you mean!!! But I don't always feel like a child - only in social situations, when I am lost, awkward and hopeless. Then I feel like I needed a special care xD
When I'm alone/around family or good friends, I feel mature, even older than I am.


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## dogonwheels (Jan 9, 2013)

I feel the same way and even though feeling this way is pretty crap I'm glad I found more people who share of this feeling. I don't know about you guys but I think it has to do with our families. Sometimes I think I was too spoilt as a child and now is hard to be grown up, it's a bad thing because we can't really live our lives like it's meant to be. Anyone found any solution for this case? :-\

When I was a kid I was thought that drinking coffee is a thing that mature people do, and I'm 23 and I can't stand coffee.. so there you go, my own theory makes me think I'm not grown up enough for my age.


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## Omoidekozo (May 27, 2012)

I felt like a child for most of my short adult life, but I feel like it's more so due to how people treat me. I don't at all feel like I act like a child, but I do feel as though people treat me like one. I don't drink, don't party much, I like TCGs and Video games and a have profound knowledge of japanese musical acts that even my japanese friends find hard to relate to.

I realize everyone that does to me is older than me. I hate it, it annoys me to no end.


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## SomePerson (Nov 13, 2012)

Yes, I feel similarly.


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## VickyJane23 (Jan 6, 2013)

Yep! I'm 22 but I don't feel grown up at all! I've been university and gained a degree, I have never had a proper job, I can't drive (failed test 3 times because of anxiety!), still live at home with my parents. I feel like a girl compared to my friends who all have serious boyfriends, good jobs, cars etc.. I've told myself this is the year to turn this all around no matter how hard it is but we'll see.


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## Melodies0fLife (Sep 17, 2012)

I should be an adult already according to society but as most of you here, I too still feel like a child. Part of the reason is how other people treat me and the other reason is my personality. Sometimes, I try to act like an adult (ie. speak seriously, intelligently, like a damn grown woman) but then I start feeling like a complete fake which leads me to believe that I'm gonna stay young forever. I'd like to die young too, while doing something crazy exciting and adventurous. I'm not the type to grow old and die of old age surrounded by my family. Not really my thing.


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## forex (Dec 29, 2010)

lack of "experiences" we can't get that from only reading , we have to build that build.
turned 29 last Sunday but i still feel young in mind.


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## kent0 (Feb 10, 2013)

im 22 yr old guy i feel like a teenager. I feel like i cant relate to people my age but when i see teenagers i feel like talking and engaging with them, but im afraid they might perceive me awkwardly as i am older even though they might perceive me to be younger


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## deanman (Dec 27, 2012)

I feel like a kid. and honestly? I don't care. I am also imature, but I love it. It's what keeps me going.

**** the police.


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## atoosagurl (Feb 10, 2013)

I feel this way all the time and I am 29. I am also married with 2 kids and I always feel like "wow, I'm a child, what am I doing with 2 kids". I also still get extremely nervous when I go to the beer store and I get so nervous to be ID'd, even though I am clearly of age. Super annoying. Would really like to feel my 'age'.


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## noyadefleur (Oct 26, 2010)

I feel as though I'm expected to be an adult, because I live on my own and I have responsibilities, but whenever I think about it much it just seems absurd and emphasizes my naivety.


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## russianruby (Jan 29, 2013)

It depends where I am. If I'm around a bunch of small teenagers, I feel like I'm an adult. If I'm around people my age, I feel like I'm 15 or something.:blank


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## prettyful (Mar 14, 2013)

i feel this way all the time


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## chickenfett (Jun 2, 2011)

You're 22. You're still a "kid" according to most of the world.
Seriously, you're a young adult. You should be feeling this way.


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## TheLastDreamer (Mar 27, 2014)

I have had people younger than me tell me "grow up, you are talking/acting like a kid" >.< But sometimes I feel younger than them because I always look up to people whether they are younger than me or older than me. I am too dependent ;.; even when crossing the road I need a hand to hold me..too afraid to cross alone '.'


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## pork (Sep 4, 2011)

I've been criticized my entire life for not being mature so it's something I'm fairly insecure about.

I have plenty of life experience for my age. My hang up is that I'm not emotionally mature enough to deal with life's complexities and demands. I completely shut down and act ridiculous in stressful situations and I can't control how I feel when presented with a lot of emotional stimulation. For that alone I feel like I'm still a teenager.


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## angelique (Mar 26, 2012)

I'm 19 and I definitely don't feel like an adult. I know I'm just barely an adult, but still, there's some 19 year olds out there who are doing so much more "adult-like" things. I know there's other people who are older than me that feel the same way. I actually talked to my dad about it and he didn't necessarily say that he doesn't feel like an adult, but he doesn't feel like he's 50-something. Age is just a number. Just because a number of years has passed, that doesn't mean we'll feel like different people. Also, not sure if anyone here knows of Shay Carl (he's a youtuber) and he mentioned how he doesn't feel like he's a 34 year old with 5 kids. He feels like he's still a teenager. I think most people feel like this, because it's not like we suddenly turn into adults. I think we remain overall the same person throughout our entire lives, just with new experiences and thoughts. But still, your core will always be pretty much.


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## Slytherclaw (Jul 16, 2011)

Completely. I can't drive, so that sets me apart from everybody my age. I don't live in a place with public transportation so it's definitely not common around here for someone out of high school to be without a license. I feel 12 every time I have to ask for a ride.


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## atlanticcity (Mar 7, 2015)

This is how I feel. I haven't had any experiences such as relationships, sex, true friendship, traveling, plus I haven't had a job for three years. I just go to university and come home to the same room I spent all my time in as a teenager. I skip a lot of classes at uni and just feel completely lost at this point.


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