# Is omission the same thing as lying???



## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

In a relationship, if Person A keeps something from Person B, something they KNOW they should tell Person B concerning them seeing their ex, and yet only when Person B finds out from an outside source Person A talks about it, is it lying? Is NOT saying anything the same thing as lying???


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## Formerly Artie (Jun 26, 2007)

No.

The reason being that lying is very explicit in its definition.

Keeping such information to oneself in a relationship is, however, unhealthy for that relationship, enough to possibly damage it.

It also depends on the specific "manner" in which person A is seeing his or her ex, which shouldn't need any further elaboration.


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## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

Omission may not be lying, but it is definetly dishonest.


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## Becky (Nov 5, 2003)

A lie by omission is still a lie.


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

Formerly Artie said:


> No.
> 
> The reason being that lying is very explicit in its definition.
> 
> ...


You are right in that there is a significant difference in the words themselves so maybe I phrased the question wrong....

I guess I should have asked isnt NOT telling someone pertinent information the same thing as lying, rather than use the word omission....We SASers love to split hairs (myself included) :b and I was asking more about the actions rather than word definitions.....

The "manner" is that Person A is taking their child from a previous marriage to meet their other parent in a city in another state about 500 miles away. I dont think its the seeing the ex thing that is bothering Person B but rather the fact that Person A didnt tell them that until an outside source unwittingly let the cat out of the bag.


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

I voted yes but I believe in total transparency. But not everybody is so opened minded, but I would be pissed because this is a nice thing person A is doing for their child and I'd want to be supportive. Is person A traveling 500 miles away and not telling spouse?? Hmm??


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

FairleighCalm said:


> I voted yes but I believe in total transparency. But not everybody is so opened minded, but I would be pissed because this is a nice thing person A is doing for their child and I'd want to be supportive. Is person A traveling 500 miles away and not telling spouse?? Hmm??


No Person B knew Person A was traveling; the issue was that Person A's ex was going to be there and Person B did not know about it, until the proverbial cat was let out of the bag by Person C, which is why Person B is upset.


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## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

No. I wouldn't want my significant other to hold back on telling me something though.


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## ericj (Jun 20, 2007)

It's a good way to have a royal ****storm. My mother did something like this a little while ago when my dad was being a real pain. She never does things without telling him, so he was really suspicious and wacky.

Being open is really the best because then they will know nothing wrong is up...basically, in my experience, if someone is secretive, I expect the worst because that's always what comes.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Becky said:


> A lie by omission is still a lie.


I agree with Becky here. :agree


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

I would want to be told. If it's no big deal why not mention it? JMO.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

It depends on whether what's being omitted is the piece of information that the person seeks. So if someone asks if you did anything over the weekend, and you said no, this isn't really lying since the question probably implies whether you did something particularly unusual/interesting. You still did SOMETHING, but omitting this information isn't being deceptive.


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## sctork (Oct 23, 2006)

I voted yes.

If you're not telling someone something because you know they're going to be upset, than thats a lie. Both things are done with purpose of deceiving someone, so I would consider it the same.


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## free thinker (Nov 11, 2003)

Penny said:


> No Person B knew Person A was traveling; the issue was that Person A's ex was going to be there and Person B did not know about it, until the proverbial cat was let out of the bag by Person C, which is why Person B is upset.


I guess your husband, oops I mean Person A, figured that Person B would be upset if she/he knew that Person A would be meeting his/her ex and was trying to avoid the potential conflict. Although I would always try to reveal pertinent information to my partner, it is understandable that others might feel the need to keep certain information from their significant other.


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

free thinker said:


> Penny said:
> 
> 
> > No Person B knew Person A was traveling; the issue was that Person A's ex was going to be there and Person B did not know about it, until the proverbial cat was let out of the bag by Person C, which is why Person B is upset.
> ...


I am actually Person C in this scenario :lol

But my feeling is that Person A should have been honest.

I voted for yes, its is lying....I believe in total honesty in a relationship.


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

Yes, hiding the truth is the same as lying, in my opinion.


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