# Where can I meet single women(24 or older)?



## foe

I have no clue to where these single women are. I'd prefer real places, not online. Don't trust those online dating sites.

Also, what do older women look for in a man? 
I'm still have quite a "man-child" personality-wise so I'd like some advice.


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## millenniumman75

opcorn - I could use some pointers, too :lol.


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## TRENNER

Full of Empty said:


> I have no clue to where these single women are. I'd prefer real places, not online. Don't trust those online dating sites.
> 
> Also, what do older women look for in a man?
> I'm still quite a "man-child" personality-wise so I'd like some advice.


You want to go to places that women who have common interests with you would go regularly. Then, you try to strike up a conversation with them--not so easy for us. Getting involved in a church or synagogue and/or a hiking or biking club are common ways to meet suitable ladies for a serious relationship.

As to what women want in a man, if you're a nice guy, reasonably positive (not negative like many here), with a job or sensible career plan, and normal looking, you should get some interest. Remember that just as we are wired to want them, they are wired to want us.


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## foe

^^^ Never thought about community groups or clubs, maybe because of my SA/shyness, but that's a good idea. Other than music and sports, I'm not sure what my other interests are. A fitness club or an adult athletic club might be something I could look into.

I most of those covered (I think) with exception to a job and a career. I'm normal looking, not deformed or anything. LOL


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## Positive

i dunno either. i'd like to know.


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## NoraTorious

Take a class in something you like, some hobby you would like to try, cooking, art, etc. And dancing classes. I know many a girl who has swooned for men who know how to dance.

And if you don't meet anyone, you have enriched yourself and it might be a great asset when you do meet someone. 

Good luck. I find it hard to meet people who get me so I always wish the best for others.


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## UltraShy

Full of Empty said:


> Also, what do older women look for in a man?


First, don't dare to call a woman older IN ANY WAY unless you enjoy violence. At the age of 35 as part of a conversation about "youth culture" -- a subject she brought up -- I noted that she wasn't part of it. She was 34 at the time and threw my TV remote at me and then spent the next hour pouting, angry with me.

As to where to meet women, I don't think SAS members know much about that. If we knew we wouldn't be alone.

I'm guessing one meets women in all the places SAS members tend to avoid like the plague -- pretty much any public place or gathering.


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## Amber78

not all women mind being called older. i consider myself older. nothing wrong with that. better than the alternative. i embrace getting older. i dont need to be 21 forever. not all women think that way.


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## UltraShy

millenniumman75 said:


> opcorn - I could use some pointers, too :lol.


John, seeing how religious you are, a church group is the obvious choice, an option noted in the post directly below your own.

Clearly wouldn't work for me.


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## farfegnugen

You need to get out more is the simple answer. I wonder why I have so few friends in life and haven't dated much since my last breakup. I just don't do a lot where I meet people anymore. I don't think it is a good idea to go bar hopping or clubbing to meet someone, though I did that a lot when I was younger. I do seem to get some interest when I am out running or at the gym. I just don't know how to take advantage of it anymore.

Group activities where you are doing, instead of conversing most of the time is probably the way to go for someone with SA. I think something like an outdoors or hiking club would be really good for me, though winter will put that hold until spring. I know the library and book stores have group readings and sometimes authors in for readings. That might be better for someone with SA given the subject matter is already known. Classes like someone already mentioned. God, dating was so much easier in school when you had multiple opportunities to meet someone and get to know them. Activities that women engage in would be the smart way to go: art, dancing, home improvement, etc. I don't think you can just wait for it to happen like some people say, you've got to improve the odds in your favor by doing things that women would be interested in. Sorry for the rambling response, just letting my train of thought out and I see I don't much of an answer for your question.


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## zta

UltraShy said:


> First, don't dare to call a woman older IN ANY WAY unless you enjoy violence. At the age of 35 as part of a conversation about "youth culture" -- a subject she brought up -- I noted that she wasn't part of it. She was 34 at the time and threw my TV remote at me and then spent the next hour pouting, angry with me.


"I'm ready for my close-up Mr. DeMille."

Anyway your post is a good example of why guys shouldn't give other guys relationship advice online. sorry.


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## Johnny_Genome

Expanding one's social circle in terms of friends is probably the best thing to do outside of internet dating. Internet dating is to the point, both parties are looking to date -- out in the offline world the odds someone is single and looking drops dramatically. 

I still can't think of a single couple I know who met randomly at a public place; I'm sure there are a few out there, but most couples I know met at school, work or through friends of friends, introduced through family, or through online dating.


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## SilentOutcast

Full of Empty said:


> I have no clue to where these single women are. I'd prefer real places, not online. Don't trust those online dating sites.
> 
> Also, what do older women look for in a man?
> I'm still have quite a "man-child" personality-wise so I'd like some advice.


Like other things in life look for them in your grocers freezer section.:lol
I am hoping to try to meet people going to events hosted on meetup.com, I just got started so i haven't been to any events yet.


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## dmp78

Full of Empty said:


> I have no clue to where these single women are. I'd prefer real places, not online. Don't trust those online dating sites.
> 
> Also, what do older women look for in a man?
> I'm still have quite a "man-child" personality-wise so I'd like some advice.


try pearl jam shows.

8)


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## ilsr

I've heard about tennis clubs where one could play mixed doubles. I haven't gone to any clubs yet though. Busy trying to sort out my career. Even though I have plenty of tennis "education". 

Someone suggested to me some hiking clubs or some such. But it was an older lady who I think suggested that to me to meet other guys. I hate that. We need to meet women at our age. Yet a proportion of women reject us because we don't have enough guy friends.


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## sabueed

Full of Empty said:


> I have no clue to where these single women are. I'd prefer real places, not online. Don't trust those online dating sites.
> 
> Also, what do older women look for in a man?
> I'm still have quite a "man-child" personality-wise so I'd like some advice.


Since when are 24 year old women considered "older women"


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## BetaBoy90

Try New Kids on the Block and Backstreet Boys reunion concerts, should be a goldmine for potential mates, that's if they don't assume you to be homosexual, or more accurately a pedophile.


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## estse

I want me a wife. She can be on the cocaine, but she better cook a licken.


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## leonardess

uh......how much older?


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## VanDamMan

Meet women at the woman factory. I suggest the turbo model.


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## PitaMe

I don't know what to tell you in terms of where to find single women. We're out there but unlike facebook we don't have a relationship status out in front for all to see. I think most of the people here came up with good advice: church, activity clubs, meeting them through friends, book clubs, etc. As far as what women look for in a man.....Thats hard to answer because not all women want the same thing. I mean, I would consider myself to be a "normal woman" and what I'm looking for in a man is this: good sense of humor, nice, down to earth, decent looking, has some type of goals in life, likes to travel, likes animals, and has a good job (that one means the job is stable). Now I don't know if ALL women are going to agree with me on these qualities, but at least it gives you some type of answer to your question. Good luck!


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## UltraShy

millenniumman75 said:


> opcorn - I could use some pointers, too :lol.


You're religious, so meet some nice girl at church as mothers always suggest. Of course, the girls who are big time into religion tend to get married early, so guess you'll have to look for a young lady who wants a more mature man.


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## sanspants08

UltraShy said:


> As to where to meet women, I don't think SAS members know much about that. If we knew we wouldn't be alone.


Not everybody here is single, man.



TRENNER said:


> You want to go to places that women who have common interests with you would go regularly. Then, you try to strike up a conversation with them--not so easy for us. Getting involved in a church or synagogue and/or a hiking or biking club are common ways to meet suitable ladies for a serious relationship.
> 
> As to what women want in a man, if you're a nice guy, reasonably positive (not negative like many here), with a job or sensible career plan, and normal looking, you should get some interest. Remember that just as we are wired to want them, they are wired to want us.


Well said. I'll second the notion about gyms as well, though I go when the gym is empty, at around 1:00AM. Art galleries are cool too, if you can be interested in what's on display. Also, if there's a local coffee shop where single people sit around reading, hanging out there and doing the same could be beneficial. I mention the coffee shop because its small confines make meeting people easy, due to proximity.


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## unhappy clown

get yourself a dog, make sure it's either ugly cute, or cute. Get a big dog or a small dog, make sure it's unique. Teach it to walk with you. If your patient teach it. Become pals with it. If it's cute and charming, or brave looking women will be interested in it. Walk it often on the same route, take it with you where ever you go. Women will come up to you, and see your bond with the dog. They will talk to you about the dog. All you have to do is get into character and talk. Be proud. I think it will work. At least you'll have a pal.


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## power2theweak

hmmm...I am "big-time into religion" (LOL) and still very much alone


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## foe

Community college is an option. I need other sources I can go to without costing me a grand.


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## lonesomeboy

I don't think asking a SA forum is the right place


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## AllToAll

What women want in a man varies. You should ask what you want in a woman and go out and find it.
Single women are everywhere. Maybe you should go back to NYC since it's one of the cities with the highest percentage of single people.

By the way, what do you mean by older women? I though that was 35+, not 24+...



Amber78 said:


> not all women mind being called older. i consider myself older. nothing wrong with that. better than the alternative. i embrace getting older. i dont need to be 21 forever. *not all women think that way*.


Exactly. 
And if your girlfriend throws a remote control at you because she doesn't agree with something you've said, you should break-up.



zta said:


> "I'm ready for my close-up Mr. DeMille."
> 
> Anyway your post is a good example of why guys shouldn't give other guys relationship advice online. sorry.


:lol



VanDamMan said:


> Meet women at the woman factory. I suggest the turbo model.


Is this turbo model of the older woman type? If so, please give the OP an address asap.


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## smt074

Have you tried meetup.com? It's an easy way to do things you like with groups of people. You can probably find some singles groups too.


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## randomprecision

unhappy clown:1766711 said:


> get yourself a dog, make sure it's either ugly cute, or cute. Get a big dog or a small dog, make sure it's unique. Teach it to walk with you. If your patient teach it. Become pals with it. If it's cute and charming, or brave looking women will be interested in it. Walk it often on the same route, take it with you where ever you go. Women will come up to you, and see your bond with the dog. They will talk to you about the dog. All you have to do is get into character and talk. Be proud. I think it will work. At least you'll have a pal.


Good advice. I visit a local dog park a couple of times a week and (even though I am personally beyond any redemption) I can't help but notice it is a real chickfest.


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## kaaryn

TRENNER said:


> You want to go to places that women who have common interests with you would go regularly. Then, you try to strike up a conversation with them--not so easy for us. Getting involved in a church or synagogue and/or a hiking or biking club are common ways to meet suitable ladies for a serious relationship.
> 
> As to what women want in a man, if you're a nice guy, reasonably positive (not negative like many here), with a job or sensible career plan, and normal looking, you should get some interest. Remember that just as we are wired to want them, they are wired to want us.


u married trenner??? :roll


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## kaaryn

lonesomeboy said:


> I don't think asking a SA forum is the right place


Could be right there lonesomeboy :b

But who better to understand you, than somebody that suffers or has suffered with SA? Huh? Huh? Answer that boy? Huh? lol


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## SA Rich

The best place to meet a partner really depends on you--what your interests and passions are. What are some of the things that are most important to you in life--the values you really want a potential life partner to share? What do you most enjoy doing, or thinking about? By choosing where you meet prospective partners, who can ensure that the person you meet will match you on some dimensions at least.

Perhaps you could volunteer with a group that shares a similar passion? For instance, I am an animal lover, so I volunteer at an animal shelter. There are a lot of really terrific people there, including many women who share my values. If I meet someone there, great! If not, I am doing what I love to do anyway, so I benefit either way. Church groups are great for the same reason.


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## TRENNER

kaaryn said:


> u married trenner??? :roll


Yes, for 4 1/2 years now.


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## foe

I'll be needing a sugar mama once I go back to school full-time this fall.


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## jonmorris73

.


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## komorikun

Language classes at night at community colleges are filled with older people. Probably 60-65% female. And you end up talking to your classmates more in language classes cause you get put into groups all the time. I noticed that my Japanese classes had more men than women but Spanish classes were the reverse.


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## geepeeone

komorikun said:


> Language classes at night at community colleges are filled with older people. Probably 60-65% female. And you end up talking to your classmates more in language classes cause you get put into groups all the time. I noticed that my Japanese classes had more men than women but Spanish classes were the reverse.


Hmmmm . . . consequently, I am getting tired of Rosetta Stone Spanish edition. Maybe I should try learning Spanish from REAL people, and maybe I can even meet a special someone. [sigh]


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## MyJoy

UltraShy said:


> You're religious, so meet some nice girl at church as mothers always suggest. Of course, the girls who are big time into religion tend to get married early, so guess you'll have to look for a young lady who wants a more mature man.


What if he's looking for a sugar momma like the OP? j/k


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## MyJoy

Reddit?


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## foe

foe said:


> I'll be needing a sugar mama once I go back to school full-time this fall.


Out of school now, and still looking for my sugar mama.


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## Yer Blues

Retirement home?


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## Wanderluster

You can meet girls anywhere and everywhere. The problem isn't really where to meet them, it's having the confidence and social ease around the clock to approach someone you find interesting, no matter the venue.


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## Destiny1017

unhappy clown said:


> get yourself a dog, make sure it's either ugly cute, or cute. Get a big dog or a small dog, make sure it's unique. Teach it to walk with you. If your patient teach it. Become pals with it. If it's cute and charming, or brave looking women will be interested in it. Walk it often on the same route, take it with you where ever you go. Women will come up to you, and see your bond with the dog. They will talk to you about the dog. All you have to do is get into character and talk. Be proud. I think it will work. At least you'll have a pal.


This does work lol. I approach everyone who has a dog. (who isn't obviously creepy or has bad vibes) 
I'm shy but if a man has a dog, I will want to pet it and I will I talk to him.


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## PerfectDark

Wanderluster said:


> You can meet girls anywhere and everywhere. The problem isn't really where to meet them, it's having the confidence and social ease around the clock to approach someone you find interesting, no matter the venue.


Exactly. And thats why internet dating isn't that bad....at least if you manage to get 1 good picture of yourself.

The women you might might not like you (due to SA) and vice versa but that's irrelevant. The point is to get used to interacting with them under a "date-like" setting, meaning it's sure also about having sex. The goal is to get used to the situation and hence be more relaxed.

I don't think if you have SA you can just go to public gatherings of whatever kind and just ask out a woman... and if you do you will almost certainly get rejected. hence first lean via online.


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## Miwo

Marshalls
Linen and Things
Bed Bath and Beyond

having the confidence to approach them in public is another story


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## TobeyJuarez

Sin said:


> Get a dog and take it out for walks and I guarantee women will approach you not for yourself though for your dog...but it might make things easier :stu


This is actually very true... I have a min pin and many women have approached me talking about how cute he is


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## mzmz

PerfectDark said:


> Exactly. And thats why internet dating isn't that bad....at least if you manage to get 1 good picture of yourself.
> 
> The women you might might not like you (due to SA) and vice versa but that's irrelevant. The point is to get used to interacting with them under a "date-like" setting, meaning it's sure also about having sex. The goal is to get used to the situation and hence be more relaxed.
> 
> I don't think if you have SA you can just go to public gatherings of whatever kind and just ask out a woman... and if you do you will almost certainly get rejected. hence first lean via online.


On a thread last night a guy was trying to figure out how to approach a girl he regularly took a bus with. Somone came up with the idea of a note!

I thought it was a great idea...if I saw a non repulsive male and he just sort of said exuse me and handed me a short note saying something cute like "hey you look fun/cute i would love to have a convo at your convenience please email /text me I would totally be stoked!

I might be an exception. I have SA.:idea


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## PerfectDark

mzmz said:


> On a thread last night a guy was trying to figure out how to approach a girl he regularly took a bus with. Somone came up with the idea of a note!
> 
> I thought it was a great idea...if I saw a non repulsive male and he just sort of said exuse me and handed me a short note saying something cute like "hey you look fun/cute i would love to have a convo at your convenience please email /text me I would totally be stoked!
> 
> I might be an exception. I have SA.:idea


Agree. Sounds like a good idea. She won't notice the guy is nervous and it has a creative/special touch to it. But the text on the note should not be creepy but I guess thats obvious.

That might also be a good idea for CBT, walk up to women and give them a note. maybe they think the guy is mute and/or deaf. Actually sounds like a great idea. design such a note / card, "mass" print it and go to a public place. Could be extremely time efficient.


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## hypestyle

www.meetup.com supposedly has some options in your community, wherever it is. The organizer(s) has to pay to maintain the "group status", though, so be prepared to pay something (it's usually stated up front on the group's mini-site.)

side note-- when women are in groups/pairs it's more difficult, as I'm (typically) only interested in one person out of the group.


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## Boulder257

I posted this is another thread about anxiety, but I think it applies here for meeting people. Here are my thoughts:

1. If you are religious than Church is a great place to meet people. Some churches even have groups specifically for this.

2. Find people that have the same interests as you. For instance, if you like *cooking*, take a *cooking* class. It's an immediate ice breaker and you have something to talk about at the time.

3. See if you can get some of your workmates to go out with you after work. Even if its just for a soda or a meal. You already know you have something in common, so conversation should be easy. And, you can find people where you have things in common.

4. Do you golf? If so, this is a great way to meet people. You can go the golf course alone and they will pair you up with other people. Again, you know you have something in common and you are doing something at the same time.

5. If you are suffering from social anxiety or a secondary disorder, find a support group. Probably the best way yet to meet people who understand you and your situation.

6. Volunteering also is a great way to meet people. You can go alone and say, work in a soup kitchen. You are doing something so you have something to talk about and and can other volunteers at the same time. Also, this is a great way to build self esteem, confidence, and gratitude!

I am sure other's will have some great ideas as well.


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## Boulder257

mzmz said:


> On a thread last night a guy was trying to figure out how to approach a girl he regularly took a bus with. Somone came up with the idea of a note!
> 
> I thought it was a great idea...if I saw a non repulsive male and he just sort of said exuse me and handed me a short note saying something cute like "hey you look fun/cute i would love to have a convo at your convenience please email /text me I would totally be stoked!
> 
> I might be an exception. I have SA.:idea


I think different people would respond differently; however, I definitely think this is the most non-threatening manner to let her know you are interested.


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## foe

You know...I made this thread almost 3 years ago and during that time I was at the lowest stage of my life. No friends, no job, no $, you name it. I was stuck in my house all day. I was clueless about everything. But I've grown a lot since then. Now I have a job, some income, some acquaintances, and even got back to school. More importantly I've learned so much about myself and how I behave with others. What I come to realized is that, meeting people is very easy. You meet a person every time you walk out of your house. It's the communication aspect of meeting a person that's the hardest. How will you initiate? How will they perceive you? Do you have any common interests with this person?

I believe my lack of communication skills and the inability to be vocal has held me back. I'm meeting people(even if they're just co-workers and classmates) regularly now but I can't connect with anybody. The bond isn't there. I see co-workers and classmates chit chat all the time, discussing if they want to do something together, etc. I'm puzzled by this because I talk to co-workers and classmates but the conversation never lead to me spending a day outside of work or school with them.

I think for me to make "meeting single women" or people in general to actually work, I need to improve my communication skills. 

Sorry for the long post but I'm going through this phase of self-reflection, and it's really helping me find ways to improve myself.


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