# Why is my boyfriend get upset when I am in a bad mood or not talking?



## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

He wants me to keep talking. When he sees me quiet, or not smilling or laughing he will asks me a lot of times why? If I have a problem. Then he will get upset when I Don't answer. He even told me once that I wish you are always happy or normal because you are unpredictable. You are happy today then the next day maybe you are mad or sad. Why did he say that? We've been together for 6 years on and off. I admit I have mood swings. He does too sometimes. When I get mood swings that's when we start to argue. He will ask me what's wrong often then gets mad when I don't answer. He even saif can you just pretend that you are happy to see me just for today? And when I'm in his house he wants me to always say bye to his parents even if I don't want to because I am upset at them. They don't like me but he still wants me to say bye to them. By the way we have a son together and we don't live together . He lives with his parents and i live with my son and parents, we just visit to his house when he has his day off. He still wants me to say bye to his parents. He got mad one day because I didn't say bye to his parents? Why is he forcing me to day bye to them when he knows that his parents don't like me? They don't even want us to get married. He is the only child. Do you think he has plan on marrying me someday? He saif he is not ready this time. Coz we fight he doesn't want to end up being divorce coz its gonna cost a lot of money. 
He texted me the other day he said he wants to be with me forever n ever and he wants to make more babies and marry me and grow old together. I just laughed at him coz I don't believe unless O see it. He was joking about buying an engagement ring a lot of times. The other day he got upset because I didn't answer or return his call. He saw me online on facebook . He got upset and blocked me pn fb then yesterday asked me if he can request as a friend again on facebook so he can check if I'm online. The other day we were just together then I went home and i didn't call him. He called me then said why didn't u call me? U aren't planning to. Last night i was talking to him he asked me if I'm going to be I said not yet maybe not. He said then at least tell me what you're going to do if you are not going to Sleep yet?
Is he being clingy? Or what's his actions saying about?


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

ihaveyou1 said:


> He wants me to keep talking. *When he sees me quiet, or not smilling or laughing he will asks me a lot of times why? If I have a problem. Then he will get upset when I Don't answer. He even told me once that I wish you are always happy or normal because you are unpredictable. You are happy today then the next day maybe you are mad or sad. Why did he say that?* We've been together for 6 years on and off. I admit I have mood swings. He does too sometimes. When I get mood swings that's when we start to argue. *He will ask me what's wrong often then gets mad when I don't answer. He even saif can you just pretend that you are happy to see me just for today?* And when I'm in his house he wants me to always say bye to his parents even if I don't want to because I am upset at them. They don't like me but he still wants me to say bye to them. By the way we have a son together and we don't live together . He lives with his parents and i live with my son and parents, we just visit to his house when he has his day off. He still wants me to say bye to his parents. He got mad one day because I didn't say bye to his parents? Why is he forcing me to day bye to them when he knows that his parents don't like me? They don't even want us to get married. He is the only child. *Do you think he has plan on marrying me someday?* He saif he is not ready this time. Coz we fight he doesn't want to end up being divorce coz its gonna cost a lot of money.
> He texted me the other day he said he wants to be with me forever n ever and he wants to make more babies and marry me and grow old together. I just laughed at him coz I don't believe unless O see it. He was joking about buying an engagement ring a lot of times. The other day he got upset because I didn't answer or return his call. He saw me online on facebook . He got upset and blocked me pn fb then yesterday asked me if he can request as a friend again on facebook *so he can check if I'm online*. The other day we were just together then I went home and i didn't call him. He called me then said why didn't u call me? U aren't planning to. Last night i was talking to him he asked me if I'm going to be I said not yet maybe not. He said then at least tell me what you're going to do if you are not going to Sleep yet?
> Is he being clingy? Or what's his actions saying about?


Clingy? I think he's a little controlling. This really doesn't seem healthy.
He wants you to pretend to be happy when you see him, and this is supposedly normal. NOBODY is happy ALL the time. It is normal to have bad days every now and then. And just because you're not happy all the time, doesn't mean you're unpredictable.
It is polite to say good bye to people when you're leaving, but you and his parents probably have bigger issues.

As for him marrying you. That will never happen.
His parents are against it, he doesn't want to end up divorced.. and all the forever and more babies talk is just to butter you up.
I'm sorry but. This relationship seems to be toxic for you and I bet it's toxic for your kid as well.


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## Mxx1 (Feb 3, 2015)

From all the other threads you have made he seems very unstable and controlling. He really is not a good guy to marry and be together with.


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

He has a stable job he is a nurse RN. He works full time in a facility but since he is the only child he doesn't eant to leave his parents alone. He loves them so much to move out plus he is cheap. He would rather live with his parents And he asked me to live with them few times but i said no because they don't like me. It would be awkward. I can tell they don't really like me even though they act all nice. I just can tell.


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## Grog (Sep 13, 2013)

Some people , actually a lot feed of the mood and environment around us . 
So if your down it brings him down . It's that simple .


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

ok thanks


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

Why do you say his parents do not like you? Are you sure this is not a false perception? And honestly if I had a long-term girlfriend come to stay with me I would appreciate it if she said good-bye to my parents. 

But from what I've gathered your boyfriend seems to instigate most of these arguments. And not replying to a phone call immediately is such a childish reason to get mad. Why do you want to marry this guy again?


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

i sometimes wonder why i wanna marry him lol I honestly want my family to be whole since we have a child.. I want to give my child everything but sometimes it's getting bad..


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

I just know it ever since me and him started dating they don't like every girl who they think he likes.. they haven't even see me and they started to hate me.. his aunt told his cousins who is far away in another country told them that I am fat and dark bla bla bla everything that is negative to have a negative image. now they try to be a little nice to me but I don't talk to them.. i talk to his aunt and uncle.. his aunt asked me to just break up with him because they don't want him to get married yet that time we already have a son.. it makes me sad.. I just want my son to grow up with his real father and have our family whole... I sometimes want to give up..


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## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

Skeletra said:


> Clingy? I think he's a little controlling. This really doesn't seem healthy.
> He wants you to pretend to be happy when you see him, and this is supposedly normal. NOBODY is happy ALL the time. It is normal to have bad days every now and then. And just because you're not happy all the time, doesn't mean you're unpredictable.


I think it's more that he worries she is thinking of leaving him when she is not in a good mood.


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

actually he's not scared when I leave him coz he's used to it..we're on and off.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Why doesn't his parents like you?


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

He is the only child. They don't want him to get married. They are scared that he will go away. They want him to stay there forever. It's hard for them to let him go.


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

ihaveyou1 said:


> actually he's not scared when I leave him coz he's used to it..we're on and off.


So he's sort of taking you for granted?

Just out of curiosity, have you ever dated someone else when you were off?
Or even in general?


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

Maybe. I'm pretty sure he is taking me for granted. I think in a relationship couples take each other for granted. It happens often in a relationship which is sad. He is actually my 2nd boyfriend. I dated someone before him and we lasted only for 9 months because the guy cheated on me with another girl. Then I started flirting with other guys coz I broke it off with the first. Then I stayed single for 4 years. I met this 2nd one who is the father of my child now in school when we were in high school. We were just friends before for like 2 years then when we were in college that's when we start talking and dating. I used to refuse to go out with him because I told him that I would rather keep our friendship than lose it but he kept asking me out. There comes a time that I would break up with him when were started going out then he will actually cry and beg me to stay. By the way, I am his first of everything. I am his first girlfriend. He never had anyone before and I'm pretty sure about it. As I mentioned before I usef to break up a lot before we had our child together. He would scare me that he will hurt his self and he will kill his self. He actually did hurt his self he was cutting etc. he even told me that he will get me pregnant when I break up with him so I can stay forever. So it did happen. I got pregnant but he didn't tell his parents about our child not until helis uncle heard that I was pregnant from our friend coz they were coworkers. He was really afraid about it he couldn't tell his prents coz they were so strict. So that's when I keep arguing with him. Our relationship was bad. It got a little better now but it's going back to the way before. Everytime we break up I just don't feel like dating anyone else. Ileven if I'm mad or sad or anything. I just want to move on first before I be with the next one. I want to make sure I'm ready to love someone. It's hard I love him so much specially we have a child together its hard not to be with him. I always want our family whole.


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

ihaveyou1 said:


> I just know it ever since me and him started dating they don't like every girl who they think he likes.. they haven't even see me and they started to hate me.. his aunt told his cousins who is far away in another country told them that I am fat and dark bla bla bla everything that is negative to have a negative image. now they try to be a little nice to me but I don't talk to them.. i talk to his aunt and uncle.. his aunt asked me to just break up with him because they don't want him to get married yet that time we already have a son.. it makes me sad.. I just want my son to grow up with his real father and have our family whole... I sometimes want to give up..


Before you give up, try to eliminate any negative actions on your part that are contributing to the problems. If you make an effort maybe it will inspire him to make an effort too.

It's hard to stay in love with a moody person. You never what mood you're going to get today. It drains your energy over time. So, if he's complaining about your moodiness, is there something you can do about that? If you're in a bad mood, tell him and talk to him about it. If you need space let him know.

About his parents, just be nice to them. Be the better person. If they dislike you it doesn't mean you have to dislike them. By disliking them in return you'll never be on good terms. Just be yourself, be a good caring person and eventually they'll come around. And if they don't at least you won't be so angry about it because you're happily being you.

Also, I think the fact that he wants you to get along with his parents is probably a sign that he wants a future with you. Since, he's so close to his parents he wants you to be close to them too. Just swallow your pride and kiss up to his parents.

From your other posts it seems you relationship has a lot of problems. Maybe you should consider getting some counseling. I think your local church may offer free marriage counseling. Or maybe some family elders can help you two communicate.


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

AngelClare said:


> Before you give up, try to eliminate any negative actions on your part that are contributing to the problems. If you make an effort maybe it will inspire him to make an effort too.
> 
> It's hard to stay in love with a moody person. You never what mood you're going to get today. It drains your energy over time. So, if he's complaining about your moodiness, is there something you can do about that? If you're in a bad mood, tell him and talk to him about it. If you need space let him know.
> 
> ...


You mean get 'shunned' for having a child out of wedlock. This guy has no intentions on marrying her from what I've seen in these posts. And all a church is going to do is encourage marriage even though in the long-term that could be a bad idea. I think they should work through their issues before considering getting married.


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## lilyamongthorns (Aug 13, 2012)

ihaveyou1 said:


> Do you think he has plan on marrying me someday? He saif he is not ready this time.


Oh girl, 6 years and he still doesn't know if he wants to marry you!? It's time to move on.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

lilyamongthorns said:


> Oh girl, 6 years and he still doesn't know if he wants to marry you!? It's time to move on.


Since when did marriage need to be proof someone wants to be with you or not?

--------

The fact it's on and off as you say is what makes it clear that it's not really going to be a long term success.


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

It's usually me who's always first to break things off when I'm getting mad or not in the mood coz i can't be happy being in our situation. One time he told me he wanted to get back with me he said. Who's gonna last 6 years with you i mean who's going to be with you and last 6 years long? Do you think other guys will stay that long? He is saying that he's the one who's stay for 6 years and i should be thankful and take him back. Lol


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

Maybe he said that because I'm a very complicated person to handle. And he made the 6 years to stay with me


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

ihaveyou1 said:


> It's usually me who's always first to break things off when I'm getting mad or not in the mood coz i can't be happy being in our situation. One time he told me he wanted to get back with me he said. Who's gonna last 6 years with you i mean who's going to be with you and last 6 years long? Do you think other guys will stay that long? He is saying that he's the one who's stay for 6 years and i should be thankful and take him back. Lol


Girl you can get a better guy then him. :mum


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

I love him so much I can't stay away from him. It's hard for me. He's also having a hard time staying away from me


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

But you will get over it in time. I really think this guy isn't the right guy for a long term thing for you.
You're his first everything. Maybe he's worried nobody else will like him? he just has to get over you. And you have to get over him. Breakups are hard and because you have a kid together, it's bound to be harder. When he says you're too complicated and that nobody will love you, that's just terrible. He's saying that so you will feel insecure and go back to him.


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

It's hard.. I really want my family whole.. I don't want a broken family for my son..I have to think about my life.


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

My grandparents used to fight all the time. Then he eventually took up drinking and the fighting got worse. My mom is a huuuuge fan of divorces and my uncle has severe commitment issues. I've known quite a lot of people from broken homes and most of them were fine. They even said "dad" to their stepdads.
Think of your kids future. What do you want for him? And do think of your future. Do you want to be happy? Is this the right way for that?


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

I already asked my kid he said he wants us together.. he gets sad when me and his dad are not together.. He said he doesn't want us apart and he doesn't want another dad or another mom lol.. I just want him to be happy..


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

Skeletra said:


> Maybe he's worried nobody else will like him?
> 
> actually someone already was talking to him when we broke up 3 months ago.. the girl started to like him and he started to like the girl but maybe he wanted me more so got back with me.. then they aren't talking anymore..


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Do you have a tendency to shut people out when you're upset? It can be really frustrating trying to figure out why someone is acting upset when they won't talk to you about it.


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

sometimes yes I do shut people out haha.. wait ..what do you mean by shut people out? you mean if I tell them to shut up? well I would be quiet and not answer him when he keeps asking what's wrong ..I'll just say nothing then he won't stop asking what's wrong until he sees me happy and talking again.. he's not content when I'm quiet he worried and ask me until I answer him


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## Perspicacious (Jun 28, 2015)

Grog said:


> Some people , actually a lot feed of the mood and environment around us .
> So if your down it brings him down . It's that simple .


He's not just some guy. It's his responsibility to ensure that his girlfriend is comfortable around him, ease the stresses she's going through and whatnot.


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

Yes you are right. I know it's his job. I sometimes think that I should be thankful he's like that because he cares about me. He bother asking me what's wrong when some other guys would actually just ignore other girls and just walk away from them. He's trying to have a conversation with me asking me what my problem is. I do appreciate it when he's like that.


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

Yes, I know I'm very complicated to handle but he knows I never leave him for the other guys even when he used to do a lot of bad things to me until now. He knows i want to get married so bad but I am still not leaving him from other guys. Everything that I want I can't have it right now he can't give everything to me but still I'm staying. I never cheated on him. I stay loyal to him even if we aren't even talking or we have an argument and we ignore each other for weeks or month. He used to tell me before that when I find a guy I will leave him and be with other guys. He is telling all those stuff but it didn't happen.


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## lilyamongthorns (Aug 13, 2012)

My opinion is, he needs to step it up. He has a child, and he still would rather live at home with his parents than get his own place and take care of you and his child?? You two should be his priority. He's not going to clean up his act as long as you allow this to continue.

And, he's using manipulation to control you, uhhhh, that's a form of abuse.


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## lilyamongthorns (Aug 13, 2012)

ihaveyou1 said:


> he said. Who's gonna last 6 years with you i mean who's going to be with you and last 6 years long? Do you think other guys will stay that long? He is saying that he's the one who's stay for 6 years and i should be thankful and take him back. Lol


Well, there are guys out there who can give you 6+ years, of a consistent and loving relationship, that is not on-and-off. That is, if you'd give other guys a chance. The manipulation he is using drives me crazy. You do deserve to be treated better.


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

He isn't ready to settle down yet because he just graduated last yar in college. I am 25 old and he is 24 years old turning 25 next next month. He just got his job 4 months ago. That's his very first serious job. He never had a full time job before. The job he has now he's trying to find another one because he wants to quit the one that he has. He wants to apply in the hospitals. I have no job yet. I'm still looking. Plus, his parents want him to finish bachelor degree in nursing. He finished his associate. So how can we move out if he doesn't have money to use for moving out. This is not the right time to move out yet and get married.


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## lilyamongthorns (Aug 13, 2012)

ihaveyou1 said:


> He isn't ready to settle down yet because he just graduated last yar in college. I am 25 old and he is 24 years old turning 25 next next month. He just got his job 4 months ago. That's his very first serious job. He never had a full time job before. The job he has now he's trying to find another one because he wants to quit the one that he has. He wants to apply in the hospitals. I have no job yet. I'm still looking. Plus, his parents want him to finish bachelor degree in nursing. He finished his associate. So how can we move out if he doesn't have money to use for moving out. This is not the right time to move out yet and get married.


I'm a little confused, in your previous posts you asked us if we think he'd marry you one day, like you were unsure. Then you mentioned he doesn't want to move out of his parents house because he loved them too much. So, is everything settled now? You are certain he will marry you and move out of his parents house once he is financially independent? By the way, he can move in with you and your family, while he finishes school. If he wants to marry you, and you two already have a child, why shouldn't he be with you and the child now?

I know you're going to do what you want, but I just think this guy is bad news. He threatened to cut himself if you leave him. The guy sounds emotionally unstable and manipulative. Not really a healthy environment you'll be creating for your family. He needs professional help and he needs to learn to respect you.


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

I know he asked me if me and my son can move in with him with his parents but I told him no .. me and his parents aren't gonna get along for sure.. I don't like the way they act.. So If I live with him andhis parents I'm sure they are going to control us.. and they will keep telling us what to do or not to do.. I am trying to understand him as of now because he doesn't have money to buy his own house yet so we can live together .. coz there is no way I'm gonna live with his parents ... I don't want to.. my parents said it's going to be hard to live with them but it's up to me.. but my parents suggest that not to move in with him until he marries me coz it's really a bad idea to move in with his parents and him.. so I would rather wait for him and me until we get our new place but we'll see if he is the one for me.. if ever he cheats on me I would dump him really bad.. I don't like cheaters so if he is planning to do that ..then that's one thing I can't deal with.. that's way too much... I can forgive people if they do bad things that is not really going to harm me but if he cheats that's a different story.. the first boyfriend I had cheated on me..I didn't take him back anymore.. so I'm sure I'll do the same thing.. I don't even know what to think anymore about us and our child.. but what's important is to focus on myself first.. get a job.. if I have time to go back to school I would... I already got a job yesterday and I'm still waiting for their call to tell me about when is the orientation and other stuff that I need to do in order to start the job.. so yes I am a CNA I know it's not really a big money to make a living but at least hopefully I get 15 per hour ..the dsd told me I will work full time at Providence nursing home St. Elizabeth..8 hours a day.. with benefits.. and vacation pay.. I feel lucky but I have to make sure I already got accpeted.. I wonder why the dsd hasn't call me it's been 1 day already I thought the next day I will start the orientation.. I will do the orientation in the hospital..for 2 weeks.. 

I am planning to go back to community college maybe as a part time student..I'll get my GE units and finish my associate maybe I'll take nursing ...
I'll go to the gym and lose weight.. I am overweight.. I want to be healthy.. I have to focus on myself.. my son will be kinder next month.. 

I wish I'll make my dream come true all the goals I want to achieve..


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## VictoryOverFear (Mar 18, 2014)

The members here are really ****ty at giving relationship advice. They tried to make me break up with my bf too.


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

Ignopius said:


> You mean get 'shunned' for having a child out of wedlock. This guy has no intentions on marrying her from what I've seen in these posts. And all a church is going to do is encourage marriage even though in the long-term that could be a bad idea. I think they should work through their issues before considering getting married.


We're only getting her side of the story. If you've ever had an ex-gf or ex-wife you know how distorted one side can be.

One theory is that he's a horrible controlling jerk. Another possible theory is that she uses these "moods" as an excuse to be emotionally abusive.

We can't figure out what's true here. They need a relationship counselor.

My only advice (if they can't find a counselor) is that she just focus on eliminating anything she is doing to contribute to the problems in the relationship. If she's doing her best (and not making excuses about being moody) and he doesn't reciprocate then she needs to consider moving on.


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

I agree with you. Everyone needs to know each sides.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Raising a child in a home where the parents argue/fight can negatively affect the child's behavior and mental health. So I don't think staying together would do much help for your son if you and your boyfriend continue having these issues. I guess it wouldn't hurt to see a marriage counselor, but if he sees no problem with his behavior and doesn't want to change, then maybe this guy isn't right for you.


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

I agree .


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

ihaveyou1 said:


> I agree with you. Everyone needs to know each sides.


Take a look at marriage builders. You're not married but you have a child together. It gives a lot of good practical advice about having a happy marriage.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/


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## ihaveyou1 (Jul 2, 2015)

Thanks!


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