# Any college students who are lonely?



## thetown (Aug 16, 2014)

Well I hate to admit it, but I'm a junior now and I still haven't found any close friends. I really do truly would love to make friends and find people who understands me, but I am really that insecure and scared to get out of my comfort zone. 

I was close several times but ultimately failed. I had one good friend, but I was too clingy and they probably got creeped out. And we talked less and less. 

I just love the internet. I love how it filters out the people with issues and brings out people when they are at their most vulnerable. This makes me realize that I'm not alone in the world with these problems. If I'm depressed, I can read someone else's story about their depression, and I feel a little less depressed. This makes me feel a little at ease because even though we're complete strangers I know that there's someone out there at this time who really understands me. 

So please share your experiences here so we all can feel a little less lonely together.  


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## thetown (Aug 16, 2014)

I don't even know what the point of this thread is, but school is about to start and at the spur of the moment I felt like ranting about my problems. So blah blah, I'm so nervous that classes are about to start. I'm not ready for any of this. I just want summer to never end. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## IncrediblyCreativeName (Feb 17, 2013)

I've been in college for nearly 6 years and have never made a single good, lasting friend. I came close several times, I was close with a group that was put together by our professor in an English class and we all talked a lot to each other and grew close through the semester. I also met a cool Japanese student in a film class who went to Universal Studios with me and my family. Everyone always loses touch after the semester ends though, and the Japanese guy eventually went back to Japan and we never spoke again -_-


----------



## flyingMint (Aug 31, 2015)

Yeah I feel the exact same way. :/ It's very lonely.


----------



## BAH (Feb 12, 2012)

Yerp


----------



## Mlt18 (Jun 29, 2016)

College gives me too much anxiety to even think about making friends there.


----------



## Layna9 (Aug 30, 2016)

Me too. Its my second year and I feel like I should have met people by now but nope .... I see so many other people who have friends on campus and I'm like how ? 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## thetown (Aug 16, 2014)

I was too scared to go to the dining hall today for dinner because I didn't want to be seen eating alone.


----------



## thisismeyo (Feb 15, 2013)

I don't have any friends either. We're in the same boat. I'm a senior at college. I live off campus which helps with the anxiety.

I'm not sure how to make friends. Life is weird  Even the shy folks have friends but I'm the only one with no one haha.


----------



## Skrub (Jun 27, 2016)

I just transferred to a new college and I don't know anyone here. I didn't have close friends at my old college, but I at least had acquaintances. It feels weird being completely on my own again
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Alpha Tauri (Mar 19, 2017)

Just focus on your academics instead. What about joining orgs?


----------



## f1ora (Jan 5, 2016)

Yeah haven't made friends here and I'm going into my 2nd year. Idc tho I get along with classmates for the time being, but everything dissipates once class ends


----------



## thetown (Aug 16, 2014)

Does falling behind your peers make any of you guys feel lonely? When I see people at my university heading towards prestigious internships this summer, it makes me feel like I'm wasting so much time. I mean it's not like I can't pass the interviews or anything, but it's just that I can't even get an interview! Other people have connections, and meanwhile I have to sit here and hope for a call back.

I wished I realized how important it is to make friends back in day 1 of freshman year.


----------



## slightlyfunny (Sep 5, 2017)

I am a rising Junior, and I head back to college this weekend. I also haven't made any friends, and I can't transfer, and I didn't even get a single so I'll have a roommate. I'm really scared.


----------



## marylight (Jul 2, 2017)

I did have some friends in school, I still have them. But I have tried to make some new friends on collage and its so hard! I just can't make conversation and even if I try, I spend more time worrying that actually enjoying the conversation. And I don't know why, but, teenagers who are older than me make me anxious I don't know why.


----------



## onthespectrum (Aug 31, 2017)

I had a lot of friends in the beginning of college and they slowly tapered off as I stopped drinking and got more anxious about doing well in school. In the end I'm so glad that I ended up putting academics before socializing. Focus on what you can control and the rest will fall into place


----------



## Brian601NC (Sep 11, 2017)

No friends at all in my whole college experience. I guess I came off as closed off, but I did really try with a few people, but they were just being nice.


----------



## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

I am, but I'm a bit more relaxed about it than I was during my first year. Now I'm focusing on doing progress with my social anxiety, and luckily it's not like in high school were you would be seen as a loser if someone saw you alone. No one cares now, and it's just normal to be alone and study by yourself.

Of course, I would like friends, but I think I need to sort some things out first. I'm trying to practice my social skills because I don't have any. I'm also a lot older than most of the students, so there's that too, but it's not like I couldn't be friends with anyone younger. I'm just not interested in people who party all the time because I'm done with that.


----------



## grclntng (Sep 19, 2017)

I do feel lonely at times. I only have 1 close friend with whom I'm always together and these past 2 years we always took the same classes. However, this year we chose different electives. I just realized how hard it is to survive in classes without her.


----------



## thetown (Aug 16, 2014)

I thought I had a friend... This person was in fact my roommate for an entire year. But we have do a project in class where you have to be in a group of 5, but this person ditched me and formed a group without me. Now I'm literally screwed because I don't know anyone else in the class. Wow, I thought that we were good friends, but apparently they don't want anything to do with me anymore.


----------



## thetown (Aug 16, 2014)

I can't make friends. I can't find anyone who is like me. But then again, I probably wouldn't want to be friends with someone who is like me. Ugh, I call it the Friendless Paradox.

I just want to get a good job and graduate school.


----------



## Potatomaster (Jun 18, 2017)

What do you do to try and make friends if I may ask?
Do you talk to ppl around you (perhaps those sitting next to you in class?)
Also what happened with the group project? Did you end up in a group with strangers?

I had a group assignment today and I was quite anxious I'd have to do it with strangers as opposed to some of the classmates I consider friends. I told myself however that it'd be a win-win situation regardless of what'd happen. 
If I was in a group with my friends, so be it, no problem. If I were in a group with strangers I'd consider it a great chance to form a connection with others, getting in contact. Even though that'd mean I'd have to talk, I'd force myself to say at least a few things so they know my voice and my face.
I adopted the same strategy at the beginning of college this month in prior group assignments and it worked.

I do smile and laugh a lot though - even when I'm dead inside or the situation isn't even that funny, it's like a reflex of mine. That may or may not help as well. 

Maybe (hopefully) some of this helps you a bit. 

~♧


----------



## thetown (Aug 16, 2014)

Potatomaster said:


> What do you do to try and make friends if I may ask?
> Do you talk to ppl around you (perhaps those sitting next to you in class?)
> Also what happened with the group project? Did you end up in a group with strangers?
> 
> ...


Sorry for the late reply. I just saw this. That's a great strategy! I'm glad that it's working for you. You would be making a ton of friends/connections in no time.

Actually no, I don't talk to the people around me. I think that they might find me boring or uninteresting so I usually just wait for people to talk to me instead. This kinda works sometimes in that it filters out people seem to be interested in talking to me, but yes there are plenty of missed opportunities. Also nowadays I usually just make friends when current friends introduce me to their friends.

The group project actually worked out. My friend needed another member in the group, so she asked me to join. Each group requires 5 members, so I would be so screwed if she had already found other people. The project is a semester-long project so it's also worth a major part of our course grade.


----------



## RickandMorty100years (Oct 6, 2017)

I'm a junior too and have no friends. I've had friends during college but it seems like every semester I lose them, I guess they move on to more interesting friends and I don't really blame them. Most of my friends I made in class so that was really the only connection we had, guess you can't keep good friends like that

Anyway I keep trying to make friends by talking to classmates around me that seem nice, it's really hard for me but I think if I keep doing that I might find a true friend. Or I might just annoy the people that sit around me lol


----------



## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

My dreams keep me company, and also haunt me.


----------



## Potatomaster (Jun 18, 2017)

Lovecrushed said:


> Sorry for the late reply. I just saw this. That's a great strategy! I'm glad that it's working for you. You would be making a ton of friends/connections in no time.
> 
> Actually no, I don't talk to the people around me. I think that they might find me boring or uninteresting so I usually just wait for people to talk to me instead. This kinda works sometimes in that it filters out people seem to be interested in talking to me, but yes there are plenty of missed opportunities. Also nowadays I usually just make friends when current friends introduce me to their friends.
> 
> The group project actually worked out. My friend needed another member in the group, so she asked me to join. Each group requires 5 members, so I would be so screwed if she had already found other people. The project is a semester-long project so it's also worth a major part of our course grade.


No problem and glad to hear that the group project worked out. Didn't know it was a semester long project, makes complete sense that you'd want to do that with friends given it's so important.

As for talking to people around you, I agree that letting others initiate the conversation would work as a decent filter but I can also imagine that people like me, perhaps you and most of us on this forum for instance wouldn't typically initiate conversation with people around us. So you'd be filtering out those people too. It's a lot easier to talk when the ice is broken. Oh and I don't mean that the people you'd talk to necessarily have SA, I reckon this actually applies to most people that aren't super outgoing. 
By not talking to them you won't know for sure whether they'd think you're uninteresting (unlikely ) or whether they don't know where to start or whether they might just not want to disturb you.

I'm by no means an expert though, quite the opposite actually, just my two cents 

~♧


----------



## snarygyder (Oct 6, 2017)

I made a couple of friends on the app Jodel...haha. It's like YikYak but we don't use yikyak here.


----------



## anxietyandfear (Oct 9, 2017)

Totally can relate! I am a sophomore in college, but it is my first year living in the dorm. Last year I lived at home. Now everyone already knows each other and I am so lonely. It's even harder when people have already made friends!


----------



## Nitrogen (Dec 24, 2012)

College has always been a transient place, in terms of actually making friends or long-lasting connections. The people I chat with are gone within a semester. There are people I clicked with really well, and then once that semester was done with, I haven't seen them since. It's a swamp of 25,000 people - it's very, _very_ easy to fall through the cracks and become a lone number.

It is isolating, but I find that it doesn't bother me as much anymore. I think becoming more preoccupied in my work has helped combat the isolation I used to feel a lot more heavily earlier in undergrad. And I collaborate a ton with students, mainly graduate ones, but also other undergrads so I don't go throughout my entire days without talking casually with other people. It gives me just about the right amount of socialization to keep me from falling in too deep with depression.

It's pretty hard to actually find those close friendships though and I empathize with those looking for them.


----------



## steelrobo (Oct 16, 2017)

I don't think I have friends in college 'cause everyone tries to be friends with me only so I can help then in their projects. I'm introverted and socially inept.


----------



## hlgrphc (Oct 23, 2017)

I can relate. I haven't had a friend since I was 16 (20 now) I burn all my bridges.. I'm very insecure and get scared talking to people.


----------



## the end of silence (Oct 21, 2017)

I spend a lot of time on my own, but I don't really feel so lonely anymore. I guess focusing on my studying gives me a sense of purpose?

That said, I think it helps to have people to hang out with outside of class.


----------



## walkingthecow (Oct 29, 2017)

I started college a few months ago and haven't made any friends. I had a few friends in high school but they haven't been reciprocating my efforts to stay in touch because they have new friends now. I'm at a big school and there are so many interesting people here that there's no need for anyone to waste time with me. Eating alone in the dining hall is my life. I've joined clubs and the work from my classes is more than enough to keep me busy, but right now my parents are my closest friends. The worst thing is seeing people around me making friends, meanwhile I'm sitting alone fighting back tears multiple times a day and waiting for my mom to text back.


----------



## Dasheen (Nov 17, 2016)

No friends, no classmates, 4th year in and its starting to wear thin.

Sent from my LG-H990 using Tapatalk


----------



## lunalavender (Nov 1, 2017)

I'm technically in my 5th (ugh) year of college after years of switching majors and dropping due to depression and health issues. The period of school I made the most friends was during my first week, in which sadly I befriended someone who was really rude to people and pushed away some nice people who would of made great friends. I also was friends with my roommate who I still talk to occasionally (she moved across the country). Living in the dorms also helped me. Now I have to commute 45 minutes by bus as I moved back home since living on campus was expensive. The bus ride is exhausting and I usually just ride home right after class. Also, all the people I talked to either graduated, dropped out, or moved far away. 

I just want to graduate now.


----------



## NOAHthePIANIST (Nov 11, 2017)

Just a lowly freshman here. But I still see everyone who was once lone and single, now walk by with groups of friends and dates. Everyone's finding something to be happy about, friends to do things with. But not me. I just waste away at the piano. Hell, it takes a lot outta me to even eat right now. So yeah, I'm pretty friggin lonely. And hurt, and sad. I really want to just love myself, but I don't know if I can. I'm reclusive, again. Just like highschool.


----------



## Jumpin Jack Flash (Nov 28, 2017)

I'm a senior and made one friend last spring semester and have actually stayed in touch only because he makes an effort to do things maybe once every 2 weeks. Most people I slowly drift away from because I don't want to do anything but stay home. It's nice to do things sometimes, but also sucks lol

when i finally have a friend I don't want one, and when I don't I do. kakdasdasfa


----------



## NOAHthePIANIST (Nov 11, 2017)

I just want to point out, things can get so much worse so much faster. Life really does like to stomp you down.


----------



## SocialAnxietyViking (Dec 6, 2017)

I can definitely identify with this. I have no close friends here and no social life outside of classes and academic groups. It's so hard to form real connections, even when I get along with classmates well during class.

In my case, it doesn't help that I'm a little older than a typical college student. I'm old enough feel like I shouldn't be there, but I'm also young enough (and look young enough) that I don't stand out. It's so easy for my anxiety to run wild with that. I sometimes feel like a creep just for talking to classmates who probably don't realize I'm not in their age group. :?


----------



## TwoTwentyFour (Jan 21, 2018)

I've got one close friend (we got close enough that we decided to be roommates for sophomore year, and we're currently looking for apartments together for next year, junior year) but I'm not entirely sure how we became friends. I think I said hi to her in a class or something, but I literally thank her every day for being such a wonderful person and for being such a great friend. I'm currently trying to make new friends because, as much as I love this girl and will forever cling to her koala-bear style because she's such a wonderful friend, I would like to branch out a bit and get to know some other people! But yeah, I feel lonely 99% of the time, even though I've got my good friend. I think this is a normal thing every college student feels, even if they have all the friends in the world. Being away from your high school friends, people who saw you through your awkward teen years, is always a challenge, but I think being forced to spend time with yourself is really, really good for you and can help you grow as a person! Even if it's freaking terrifying!


----------



## goaldigger (Jan 30, 2018)

I had a close one for half of a year, then she moved back home. I had another close one for 2 years, but she betrayed me and I later found out she would tell the secrets I shared with her among her other friends, as well as our own course mates. She still labels me as her bestfriend, but I silently began to distance myself from her. She thinks it's because of my bf, but really... she's caused a lot of negativity to my life & I don't believe in keeping toxic people in my life, who will only bring me down emotionally and mentally.


----------



## staydowndeep (May 12, 2014)

I had a best friend when I was in high school, we were close since elementary. We started going to the same community college but we saw each other less and less. I thought it was fine, we text each other every few months see each other occasionally. But I haven't really seen her in years. Recently I sort of reached out to her. We were having a convo and asked how I am, I guess I was too vague. I asked her a question, she asked if I was ok, I told her no I wasn't okay and that my question was for school. She didn't answer. So I texted her I was having a hard time and nothing. This happened again the other night, so now I just feel like she doesn't want to deal with my whining and negativity. I mean she also has anxiety and depression but she is more functioning than me. I don't talk to anyone except my family and I know some people at college but I'm not friends with them. I feel so alone.


----------



## dragneel803 (Feb 27, 2018)

Me too! Sometimes I would even go a day only eating snacks, when my roomate wasn't around to eat with me.


----------



## Sunb0urn (Feb 25, 2018)

I haven't had any lasting friendships in college. Just short casual temporary ones. I'm a junior and I'm not sure if I'll make any friendships by the time I finish college. All I have are my online friendships and my lingering high school ones. Perhaps I need to become more active on campus. It isn't like I've made much effort to change my situation, and since my relationship just ended I now have all the more incentive to do so with this big void in my life. I have a tough time relating to my peers, but we'll see where this leads me.


----------



## Eyoga888 (Feb 17, 2018)

@Lovecrushed

I'm feeling particularly lonely today, but generally speaking am isolated. Im in my final year and throughout all 3 years (and throughout most of school and all of 2 years of A levels) I've never had a circle of friends to hang out with. I used to dread school break times, and A level lessons - everyone is in their cliques, and a school environment is unforgiving and lonely individuals stand out like a sore thumb. University is a different experience, there's less pressure, but its a different kind of pressure. I find university difficult to enjoy on my own- it's largely a social experience and is advertised as such.

Loneliness is really soul destroying. Not having anyone to turn to for support, not having any encouragement or socialising time with people, nobody that understands me. It's pretty **** - and given the level of anxiety it gives me when I push myself to socialise, developing a friendship group is unlikely and will probably always be superficial.


----------



## SSJB (Aug 18, 2017)

Eyoga888 said:


> @Lovecrushed
> 
> I'm feeling particularly lonely today, but generally speaking am isolated. Im in my final year and throughout all 3 years (and throughout most of school and all of 2 years of A levels) I've never had a circle of friends to hang out with. I used to dread school break times, and A level lessons - everyone is in their cliques, and a school environment is unforgiving and lonely individuals stand out like a sore thumb. University is a different experience, there's less pressure, but its a different kind of pressure. I find university difficult to enjoy on my own- it's largely a social experience and is advertised as such.
> 
> Loneliness is really soul destroying. Not having anyone to turn to for support, not having any encouragement or socialising time with people, nobody that understands me. It's pretty **** - and given the level of anxiety it gives me when I push myself to socialise, developing a friendship group is unlikely and will probably always be superficial.


Have you tried joining any clubs? Try to approach people thats how I met my friends. It seems frightening but it pays off trust me.


----------



## rmb1990 (Jan 16, 2015)

SocialAnxietyViking said:


> I can definitely identify with this. I have no close friends here and no social life outside of classes and academic groups. It's so hard to form real connections, even when I get along with classmates well during class.
> 
> In my case, it doesn't help that I'm a little older than a typical college student. I'm old enough feel like I shouldn't be there, but I'm also young enough (and look young enough) that I don't stand out. It's so easy for my anxiety to run wild with that. I sometimes feel like a creep just for talking to classmates who probably don't realize I'm not in their age group. :?


Can relate 100%. Sucks.


----------



## ShatteredGlass (Oct 12, 2012)

In college, I've learnt that the most important thing to making friends is joining clubs and societies. There you'll find people with common interests that you're more likely to be able to connect with. The academic environment of a college classroom isn't really conductive to making friends, and there's no set times for socialising past the high school level. You need to find your own. At least, if it's not happenin', so to speak, in your classes.

I can definitely relate, regardless, @Lovecrushed. I have two friends at uni and one is a professor I'm in love with lol. I'm part of a few clubs, but I've been way too lazy to actively involve myself in their activities. Being an introvert is a blessing and curse in that I don't really need to have many friends but I don't have the motivation to seek out any at all.


----------



## Sumabala (Mar 29, 2018)

Even though I like being alone sometimes, I do get lonely quite often. Especially when seeing other people making friends that easily and I can't bring myself to talk to someone. I have one friend at University but I would like to make some other connections as well.
I tried searching for University groups/clubs and stuff since that is what most people recommend, but here at my University there aren't any.


----------

