# So there's this girl at work



## living in darkness (Apr 17, 2005)

Ok, I'll try to just give the short version of this instead of writing a novel like I've done in the past. I'll try, at least. Here goes. 

There's this girl at work who I think likes me. We started at the same time, and I was attracted to her right away, but thought she would be out of my league. Then, on the third or fourth day, she came up to me and started talking to me and mentioned some things like how she wants to get married in the next few years but can't find a guy who will put up with her, and little things like that. Kind of in a joking way, but still pretty serious. In a friendly way, I should say. I still didn't think much of it. Then I noticed that she would say hi to me or come up and talk to me every time she would see me. What's more, her eyes would kind of light up when she saw me. She would make little jokes or comments about work until after a while we both started flirting whenever we would see each other. Mostly kind of picking on each other, you know how you will do when you like someone?

So naturally, by this point I'm getting pretty excited and I find myself thinking about her a lot. Then what really blew my mind is what happened last week. We were all in a training class together, and she moved her chair to sit next to me. So close our legs were touching. She then asked me who I live with here in Baton Rouge. Then she starts asking me if I broke up with my girlfriend when I moved up here. Then she wanted to know if one of us had cheated on the other, and if had loved her. She also asked me what's the longest relationship I've had. I asked her some questions about her longest relationship, the kind of guys she likes, etc. then the training session started. 

We see each other everyday, but we don't always get a chance to talk. Then I noticed that sometimes when she is with her friends she will smile, but not come up and talk to me, which I can understand. Anyway, I had planned on asking her if she wanted to have lunch together one day this week, and to keep it casual and just have lunch and nothing more. Then I planned on asking her out by saying something like "So what are we doing this weekend?" or something like that, and judging her reaction. But this morning, she told me something that kind of threw me off. I was talking to one of the managers about a problem and she came up and started talking to the manager about one of her problems. Then she started telling us how her car wouldn't start this morning, and her roommate spent the money she had given him for rent, just talking about bad things she had going on. So I said something like "damn, it sounds like you have a lot of problems" and she said "yea, but I got a boyfriend so he can help me with the rent." Then she looked at me and smiled and said "until I kill him."

Now, this is the impression I get. I think that she does have a boyfriend, that's what I suspected all along, but I think she's looking for somebody new. I don't think she's in love with me or anything, but I think she is attracted to me and is definitely considering me. That's the impression I get. When she told me earlier that she had two male roommates, I had a feeling that one of them was her boyfriend, but I also felt like she was letting me know it wouldn't be a problem. Or something like that. I really do like her a lot. She's very pretty, but I also love her personality. She's very outgoing and talkative, and helps bring me out of myself. I love her voice. She has this sexy, bedroom voice. But certain things about her do intimidate me a bit. For one, she's about an inch and a half taller then me. But she's always wearing heels, so it's hard to judge. Two, she's so pretty that I can't help but feel that she would be out of my league. Three, she is very friendly and outgoing, and I'm afraid she wouldn't put up with me, but I could be wrong. When I'm around somebody like that, I can be very talkative.

What do you guys think? Should I pursue this? Do you think she's giving me signals? I'd especially like to hear what you girls think.


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## Johnny_Genome (Nov 11, 2003)

Honestly man, I smelled trouble a few sentences into your post. If I were you I would keep it at friends -- but what do I know.


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## Writer81 (Dec 19, 2005)

Go for it man. I know the other replies say to keep your distance because she has a boyfriend, but if what you say is true about her really liking you, I wouldn't give up the opportunity. Just casually ask her out if you can find the courage and if she says, "No, I have a boyfriend" then move on, no harm done. It might be a but awkward for a bit after that but just casually asking someone out won't ruin things I don't think. If she rejects you just joke it off. Maybe she will accept and then you can deal with what happens after that. Better to have tried than always wondered what could have happened.


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

Writer81 said:


> Better to have tried than always wondered what could have happened.


Is it better to be beaten to a pulp by the jealous boyfriend than to always wonder what could have happened? Just because she's ready to cheat on him doesn't mean he knows that they're supposed to be breaking up, given that they're living togeather, she calls him her boyfriend, and has apparently not made any moving to breaking up. Also, if it so happens that she's purposely stringing the boyfriend along making him think she loves him so that he'll help her pay rent that doesn't speak very well of her.


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## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

It's girls like this that absolutely makes us guys insane. They flirt, smile, talk with you very friendly, etc., ... in other words, they give us the strong impression they're interested. Then, WHAM!, out of the blue they will tell you they have a boyfriend! OR, if you ask them out THEN they will tell you they have a boyfriend. It's obvious the girls that do this, do this for the power trip. They want to be noticed and wanted, but they (the girls) don't want to follow-up on it. I think this is very cruel to the guy.

Take it from a guy who has seen these kind of things before. Unless she actually tells you she would like to go out with you, steer clear of her. In fact, I think you should steer clear anyway. Any girl that supposedly is in a serious relationship with someone (I assume because she is living with the guy) and then shamelessly flirts with you, well, that is not a sign of a quality girl with character.

Lifetimer


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## living in darkness (Apr 17, 2005)

Thanks for all the good feedback guys. I'm still so torn. I listened to what you guys were saying, and went in to work today with a determination to ignore her and just let the whole thing play out. Then I saw her. She came up to me twice today and we talked and joked around. Now what I'm thinking is that I want to see how far it will go. I'm trying to tell myself that nothing will happen, that she will just be a girl I can flirt with at work, but it will never go beyond that. There was this girl who was married at my last job, and we did that and it never caused problems. It used to actually help my self esteem. We were both attracted to each other and used to talk and flirt a lot but never took it beyond that. But I know that if this girl gives me the signal, I'm going to ask her out and take it just as far as I can. Hell, I would have done that with the girl from my previous job. Who am I kidding? It's like I can't resist or something.

I think the real problem is that I don't have any other females in my life. If I had any other possibilities, I would probably just leave her alone. I think that's the real issue. As far as the boyfriend, I know this sounds terrible, but the impression I get is that she's only with him because she can't afford to live on her own. I know that she has a lot of financial problems. So, of course, I need to ask myself if she is trying to use me in the same way. I think she knows that I don't exactly have a lot of money, so I keep telling myself that with me it's different. Ah, the things we tell ourselves.

Still would love to get a female perspective on this.


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## Szattam (Nov 11, 2003)

I believe in taking risks if you ever hope to see rewards, but this girl sounds like she might be trouble... I don't like when people take advantage of others like that, if in fact that is what she's doing. Who knows.. Only you can decide if it's worth it for you. Just don't let your emotions override your thoughts.


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## Wrennie (Sep 12, 2005)

Oh.. this sounds like trouble in so many ways. She's willing to flirt around on her current b/f and ask him to pay her rent. Nice...so, do you want to be the next guy that is led on and taken advantage of? I'm sure he wouldn't be living with her and financing her if he thought she were on her way out the door. 

People who are willing to do this to one person usually don't stop with the next. She's missing a major part of a conscience. 

DANGER, DANGER!!! 

Even if you want to "play it out" to see how far it will go, you are bound to put yourself in a situation to be hurt. You want her to like you - you are vulnerable. There is no good result that can come from this. 

Do you want to go out with her and know that she's going home to sleep with her man? ouch 

Do you want to get her and then worry what she's doing behind YOUR back? Just what an SA person needs: more to be insecure about. 

Do you have the dough to bail her out financially? She clearly looks to men to do that for her with little thought. 

sooooo bad, this one. She may not realize it, she may be in a tight spot.. but she's doing it none the less.


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## living in darkness (Apr 17, 2005)

Well, I think you guys are right. Thanks. I'm going to pass on this "opportunity".


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## biggoofybastard (Jul 26, 2004)

I'd flirt it up, nothing wrong with a little target practise as long as it doesn't go further.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Living in Darkness,

I would keep the relationship professional. There seems to be too much weirdness in it already. This girl is either using or being used in her current relationship. It could get really weird if it turned to dating (and not in a good way).


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

living in darkness said:


> she came up to me and started talking to me and mentioned some things like how she wants to get married in the next few years *but can't find a guy who will put up with her*, and little things like that. Kind of in a joking way, but still pretty serious.


As soon as I read that red flags went up in my mind. Like others I too imediately thought "TROUBLE"



> she moved her chair to sit next to me. So close our legs were touching... Then she wanted to know if one of us had cheated on the other


Definitely not the kind of behavior I'd want my GF behaving in. If she'll do it to him, she'll do it to you.



> she said "yea, but I got a boyfriend so he can help me with the rent." Then she looked at me and smiled and said "until I kill him."


ugh psycho.

I'd seriously stay away from this girl, as hard as it is when you got a real "looker" on your hands  It's easy for us SA'ers to get sucked in by these types of girls. We don't get much attention because of our SA, but when we finally do get it, especially from a hottie, we just dive in and go for it 110% without any regard to how badly we are going to get hurt when the Sh$t finally hits the fan...which is almost gaurenteed to happen within a short period of time with girls like this.

If you were to get invovled with her, it would probably be really fun at first and she'd give you tons of highs, but I've seen it time and time again with girls like this, they chew you up and spit you out just as fast as it all began. I kinda had something like this happen to me years ago in college with a girl that wasn't playing with a full deck of cards either. Since then, I've been awakened to the warning signs and red flags. Do what you want man, but I'd try to think with your big head on this one. :lol


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## living in darkness (Apr 17, 2005)

Ok, I guess it's time to resurrect this thread from the dead. I didn't walk away from this, even though I said that I would. Now that things are starting to heat up, I'm still afraid that I won't be able to resist. I guess I need to hear again why I need to stay away. It's like I can tell this would be wrong, and there are red flags going up all over the place, but everytime I see her face, it's like I fall for her again. And when she speaks, that voice. God, what is it about her that turns me on so much? I haven't had it this bad in a long time.

This has been going on for about four weeks now, if not more. We had moved and I didn't see her for awhile because she's in a different department. Then I moved again closer to her desk. Immediately, she's like "Living in Darkness! Come sit by me!" So, I ask my manager and he's like sit wherever you want. So, just like that I'm seeing her everyday, and sitting right across from her where we can talk and I see her face everyday and I can hear her voice all the time, like when she's on the phone with customers. She's still with what's his name, but our flirting is so out of control now that other employees are making comments and asking questions. Everybody just finds it kind of cute, we don't have any kind of policy against employee's dating each other, and it happens pretty often around here.

Anyway, I don't remember everything that's happened, but things really started heating up around Valentine's. I did something wrong. I lied, and said I was going see my ex-girlfriend that I had told her about. You see, by this time she had told me all about her boyfriend and how she was so in love with him. I was already upset about it being Valentine's Day, and I was too embarrassed to tell her that I wasn't doing anything. So, I lied about this girl and it's like it drove her crazy. She started asking me about her all the time. Then she starts telling people how she and I are going to get married some day, and that we're madly in love. Just making jokes, but people had already noticed that the two of us not only talk a lot, but we smile at each other all the time and touch each other, not in an inappropriate way but just touching hands and stuff when we pass in the hall. It doesn't take much for rumours to start at work, of course.

Anyway, after Valentines' she tells me that she's moved in with her boyfriend. I didn't really give it much thought, because by now I can see what's up, and I know she probably got kicked out of her other place. Sure enough, a couple days later she starts saying that it's not going to work with them, they fight all the time, etc. Then- and this is the best part as well as the scariest part- earlier this week she asked me (pretty loudly and in front of other employees) "are we going to date?" I'm like, "Yea, starting now", or something like that. Then she takes a call. Once she gets off the phone she tells me, like nothing happened- that she's pregnant. Well, immediately I start feeling jealous and upset. I say something like I guess we're not getting together now. Then she says "But I want to date you!" and tells me that she may not be pregnant. I think she was making up the part about being pregnant. Why, I have no idea. Maybe it was her way of setting things up to ask when we're going to start dating, but damn-that's a pretty crazy way of doing it. 

So, I feel like basically what's she's telling me is that I have a green light and she wants to jump ship. She even said something like all her boyfriend would say is if I take her don't bother bringing her back. Implying that he really doesn't want to be with her or whatever. He may have a different version of what happened, of course, but I always felt like she was just using the guy. I have no way of knowing she wouldn't do the same thing to me. In fact, I'm pretty sure she would do the same thing to me sooner or latter. I'm still afraid I won't be able to say no. For no better reason then I want her so bad. I keep telling myself that I won't get attached emotionally, but I always do. I'm always the one who winds up wanting a relationship, and usually the girls I'm with don't want any kind of commitment or serious relationship. 

I have a feeling that I'm going to get hurt really bad. Maybe if somebody just tells me point blank why this is so bad, maybe I can find a way to back off. She left early today, so I didn't see her. I'm still at work, just screwing around on the internet before I leave to go home. I won't see her until Monday. I do feel like I may be able to say no because of this other girl I met who is actually very sweet and shy but oh so cute. I think we would actually be good for each other.

I hope I can do the right thing and not get sucked in just because she's so pretty and has such a sexy voice and long, sexy legs and...well, you get the idea. Somebody talk me out of this! I feel like I can't resist but I want to do the right thing. I really do.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Living in Darkness,

Man, you need somebody who is a little more stable than she is. If she is going back and forth with her boyfriend, saying she is pregnant, not pregnant, living with her boyfriend, wanting to kill him, declaring that you two are dating (*WARNING*) - there is something wrong.

The relationship would be nothing more than a fling (escape from responsibility for her) that could cause a lot of problems down the road for you.


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## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

Sounds like she's messing with your mind or something. I don't know. I think the weirdness of it should be warning enough.


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## sprinter (Nov 22, 2003)

Maybe what's going on is she did get pregnant but her bf doesn't want to be a father so she's thinking about having an abortion hence the I'm pregnant not pregnant thing. Maybe that's what they're fighting about. She might just be undecided about what to do about it because maybe she wants to be a mom and have his baby. She might be trying to use you to make her bf jealous and change his attitude. Some women also thing getting pregnant will fix a relationship. But she may still be interested in you if it doesn't work out with the bf. I'm just speculating a *possible* reason for her behavior. :stu


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## pixiedust (Aug 11, 2005)

For some reason it always makes me feel better to hear about women who are even crazier than me. She's a jerk for the way she treated her boyfriend and if you think she won't treat you the same way you're sadly mistaken but making up a pregancy is just way way over the top. She's shooting up red flags all over the place. Run, run as fast as you can in the other direction. Sadly, you probably won't and you're right, she'll crush you. If you can learn how to shut your feelings off and can use her then so be it but if you can't then be prepared for a world of hurt.


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## sprinter (Nov 22, 2003)

If she just lied about being pregnant then that doesn't seem to make any sense at all. It would make more sense that she got pregnant and that's why she moved in with her bf. But what do I know anyway I should not post in these kind of threads but I always get sucked in trying to figure out puzzling female behavior. opcorn


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## living in darkness (Apr 17, 2005)

No, sprinter: I appreciate all advice. One thing that kind of freaked me out was when I asked her if she got pregnant on purpose and she said well kind of but kind of not. I really think her boyfriend believed she was taking birth control! :um That's so not cool. Then she tells me she still doesn't think it's going to work out with her boyfriend but that he's a good guy and will "support his kid". Woah. 

When I asked what was up, she said that she just really wants a child. Then she tells me she may not be pregnant, that she was only one day late!


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## pixiedust (Aug 11, 2005)

:fall Now explain to me again WHY you want to go out with this woman??? :hide


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## On the way (Feb 9, 2006)

living in darkness said:


> I didn't walk away from this, even though I said that I would.





> God, what is it about her that turns me on so much? I haven't had it this bad in a long time.


She's very good at seducing guys. She's kind of an addict, and you're one in a long line of "hits" for her.

You could go for it, just for the sex, but I wouldn't do it. First, she's toying around with the idea of pregnancy. Also, I think "getting off" with women like this messes up your sense of how to relate to women. You starting thinking of them only as sexual objects. Not a good road to go down, especially early in the game like you are. It'll set a bad tone and make you vulnerable to this sort of "addictive" relating for the rest of your life.

Watch out. If you have sex with this girl, you're headed for Jerry Springer.



> So, I feel like basically what's she's telling me is that I have a green light and she wants to jump ship.


She just told you she's pregnant, and you're still interested??? I know she took it back, but ... damn, listen to your anxiety on this one.



> I have a feeling that I'm going to get hurt really bad. Maybe if somebody just tells me point blank why this is so bad, maybe I can find a way to back off.


Listen to your gut: this girl is dangerous. Like someone pointed out on p. 1, she's missing something you and I have and assume others have ... a conscience. She's a user.



> I do feel like I may be able to say no because of this other girl I met who is actually very sweet and shy but oh so cute. I think we would actually be good for each other.


There you go. That girl would be good for you. The other one is ... I hesitate to use this word, but "evil."

Run, do not walk, to the nearest exit.

p.s. Omg, I missed this part when making my post:



> I asked her if she got pregnant on purpose and she said well kind of but kind of not.


AAAAAGGHGGHHGHGHGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (crazy b1tch alert, ***, ***)


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## AstroFan (May 8, 2005)

pixiedust said:


> :fall Now explain to me again WHY you want to go out with this woman??? :hide


"sexy voice and long, sexy legs" 

But, yeah... sounds like trouble.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

After ressurecting this thread a couple months later, this girl still sounds just as crazy as before. :lol I don't really understand why she talks about her BF and says things like she might be pregnant. That's a really odd strategy for trying to get a guy. I don't get it. :stu I don't like people playing games like this. And once again, that would send up red flags for me, and I'd be pretty mad to.

But it sounds like you've already decided to persue this...or your heart has. I don't really blame you, cuz as I breifly mentioned in my last post, I went down that path once before with a girl that was so beautiful that I couldn't resist, no matter what. When you have SA and you have no previous dating experience, then suddenly you land a chick that you consider to be like a supermodel...ya of course I'm gonna go for it. :lol But with me, all the red flags were there with the girl I went for. It was a bad situation from the beginning, but I was so blinded by her hotness, that I dove in head first anyway and layed my heart on the table. And sure enough, as soon as I did that, I got burned and things quickly dissolved, and I was left hurt.

I'm sure you'll continue on with this girl. Just do everything witnin your will power to put up a wall between her and your emotions.


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## On the way (Feb 9, 2006)

Well, if you do mess with this drama queen, just make sure not to sleep with her. No intercourse young man. If you do that, you may end up a "daddy" and linked to this whackjob for 18 years.


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## sprinter (Nov 22, 2003)

I'm uncomfortable with how this girl/woman is being called wacko etc. So maybe she thought she was pregnant but kind of jumped the gun and turned out she wasn't. :stu She's obviously just not sure about the guy she is with. She's not married to him so I don't see the big deal about that. 

living in darkness you said you were 59 in the age thread? It's none of my business but I'm curious as to how old this girl is. Could it be she wants to have a child and feels the biological clock ticking and that might play a part in her behavior?

PS Wouldn't all of us just love to have our behavior analyzed by a bunch of strangers on a message board. :lol I'm as guilty as anyone.


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## living in darkness (Apr 17, 2005)

59? Oh, that was just one of my dumb jokes. No, I'm not really 59. :lol I was just being stupid. She's 23, and I'm definately older then her, but not _that much_ older. :lol.

Thanks everyone for all the good feedback, I'm about to reply in a little while. I'm at work right now but I can post inbetween calls.


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## sprinter (Nov 22, 2003)

living in darkness said:


> 59? Oh, that was just one of my dumb jokes. No, I'm not really 59. :lol


I was wondering if that was a joke. I thought I was the only one who lied about their age there. :lol


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## On the way (Feb 9, 2006)

sprinter said:


> I'm uncomfortable with how this girl/woman is being called wacko etc.


Sorry, I call 'em like I see 'em.


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## living in darkness (Apr 17, 2005)

pixiedust said:


> :fall Now explain to me again WHY you want to go out with this woman??? :hide


I'm going to have to go with low self esteem, and the negative belief that I have to settle for whatever I can get, and that if I don't say yes to this person I'll never find anybody else. I really think that's what's going on. Even though my sa is a lot better, I still have issues with certain things. Self esteem, confidence issues, etc. That's what I need to focus on now, finally getting rid of these beliefs that have held me back for years.

That's why I think if I got together with her, I would be lowering my self-esteem because I know that it's wrong, and I would be admitting to myself that my fear of being alone is so strong that I'm willing to be used or to accept whatever I can get instead of waiting for the right one to come along. That I don't have what it takes to find the right person, or that I'm unable to attract that kind of person. That's no way to build up yourself esteem, and I've done it over and over again. I'm not sure if that made any sense; I'm kind of out and it right now.



LittleZion said:


> She's very good at seducing guys. She's kind of an addict, and you're one in a long line of "hits" for her.


I think you're right. I've been with women like this in the past. The truth is, I have a tendency to be addicted to this kind of behavior as well. A lot of my relationships have been brief and very intense but short-lived. It's like I meet some girl and we both can pick up these kind of vibes from each other and just like that we go from introductions to ready to move in together. A few weeks, or a couple months later and it's all over.



LittleZion said:


> you could go for it, just for the sex, but I wouldn't do it. First, she's toying around with the idea of pregnancy. Also, I think "getting off" with women like this messes up your sense of how to relate to women. You starting thinking of them only as sexual objects. Not a good road to go down, especially early in the game like you are. It'll set a bad tone and make you vulnerable to this sort of "addictive" relating for the rest of your life.


I agree, and this is something I'm trying to cut out. I think that I'm almost there; that there are only a few things I need to stop doing and I would be looking at a drastic improvement in my life. I'm, uh, trying to cut out things like one-night stands and relationships based mainly on sex. I had told you about the other girl. Well, I want to be a better person so that I can be with somebody like that. I already cut out things like strip clubs years ago, but I also want to stop viewing pornograpy- which is difficult considering the massive amount of free porn available on the net with a click of the mouse. Let's face it, what guy doesn't want to see attractive women in sexy outfits or nude, etc? But I don't like the way it seems to change the way I view women. I don't think I've quite reached the stage where I see women only as sexual objects, I certainly hope not, but I find that viewing pornography makes me sexualize the women around me, or see every woman as a potential sex partner. It works you up too much, in other words. Plus it creates this fantasy world that I think is really dangerous. Whew, that was a lot. I'm mentioning all that because I think getting together with her is the same kind of behavior in a way.



LittleZion said:


> listen to your anxiety on this one.


Good advice, that's what I'm going to do.



LittleZion said:


> Listen to your gut: this girl is dangerous. Like someone pointed out on p. 1, she's missing something you and I have and assume others have ... a conscience. She's a user.


Like many people pointed out. That's kind of hard for me to ignore, when so many people are saying this a really bad idea. I think you're right about her being a user. She used to always asked me for change for the vending machine or a ride home, until I cut that out. That's just a small example, but it's like she's always searching for whatever she can get. Like when I tell her certain things like I know a little bit about car engines, her eyes will light up and you can tell that's she's wondering if I would fix her car for her. Again, that's just an example, there's been many things like this.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Living in Darkness,

I think you have done pretty well on this so far! Three boogies for addressing this issue appropriately :boogie :boogie :boogie - you are a better man for it. 

Be strong and just say no. There will be better women to come along. You're not a bad-looking guy by any means. This just isn't the time, or the place.

If you need anything - you have us here, man!


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## Madmonkeypoo (May 3, 2004)

sprinter said:


> I'm uncomfortable with how this girl/woman is being called wacko etc.


Judging by LiD's very detailed report, she sounds like a nutter to me. I know some girls do that little cute "We're going to get married" thing all the time. Kind of a way of hinting that there's SOME attraction without being obvious even though it is. :stu After reading LiDs first post I was thinking she's just being nice and friendly. It's okay to be goofy and friendly with a co-worker at work that you're comfortable with. Happens all the time, even with older folk. Now she's talking about babies? Sleep with that bimbo and next thing she'll be telling you is that it's yours. Seeing how she behaves behind her boyfriends back, it could be anybodies! (if it exists) That part aside, it really does look like she's looking for someone, for lack of a better word, stupid enough to take care of her. Not put up with her, _take care of her_ and not in the loving bf/gf way. She knows you're interested and all her actions are just testing the water to see what she can get _from _you and how she can get _to _you.


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## living in darkness (Apr 17, 2005)

Exactly. She made a pretty lame attempt today. As soon as I sat down at my desk today the first thing she told me was that she broke up with her boyfriend. I was expecting as much, so I just kind of casually said "Oh, really?" Then, one of her friends, a girl about two cubicles down asked her "You broke up with Chris?" I heard her say "Yes", but I glanced up and she was looking at that girl and shaking her head no with a little grin on her face. As soon as she saw me looking she started shaking her head yes.

****ing lame, man. That is just so lame. :lol

Later on she told me that maybe they didn't break up but they did get into a big fight. Whatever. As soon as I clocked out for break she started asking me for a favor, like she normally does. I just looked at her and said "No." And she's like "You can't even go and" then I interrupted her and just said "Whatever it is, I'm not gonna do it." with a smile on my face like I was joking but I think she could tell I was serious.

She always wants something. Some kind of favor, or a ride, or something. It's like I can see it clearly now. All that she's interested in is what she can get from me. She never tells me goodbye or anything when she leaves. The first time I met her she told me that she can't find anybody who would put up with her. I thought she was crazy because she is pretty hot, but she's said that several times and I'm starting to believe it.

I can put up with a lot, but if somebody doesn't want me for me- if it's just for a place to stay or a ride to work or money or whatever, there's no way I'm going to degrade myself for that. For what? Sex? I've already had about all the sex I need to have. Not trying to sound holier then thou, it's just that I've been through that lifestyle. What I'm really looking for is something long term, where we really love each other. That's what I like about this other girl, Brandy, that I just met. She has kind of a girl next door look, but she's cute. She's not a user or manipulator and is a very sweet girl. I think she's also looking for something more then just hooking up for a little while, and I love her personality. That's more important to me then looks right now. It's like this other girl no longer has power over me, and it feels great. I feel proud of myself, like I didn't degrade myself just to have casual sex or whatever. I feel like my self esteem has gone up. This was a big step for me. In the past, I know what I would have done, and it would have just ended up making me feel bad about myself.


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## On the way (Feb 9, 2006)

Good for you, man. Great to see you seeing through the manipulations. Way to go.


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## Madmonkeypoo (May 3, 2004)

living in darkness said:


> ....It's like I can see it clearly now.....
> 
> I can put up with a lot, but if somebody doesn't want me for me- if it's just for a place to stay or a ride to work or money or whatever, there's no way I'm going to degrade myself for that. For what? Sex? I've already had about all the sex I need to have. Not trying to sound holier then thou, it's just that I've been through that lifestyle. What I'm really looking for is something long term, where we really love each other. That's what I like about this other girl, Brandy, that I just met. She has kind of a girl next door look, but she's cute. She's not a user or manipulator and is a very sweet girl. I think she's also looking for something more then just hooking up for a little while, and I love her personality. That's more important to me then looks right now. It's like this other girl no longer has power over me, and it feels great. I feel proud of myself, like I didn't degrade myself just to have casual sex or whatever. I feel like my self esteem has gone up. This was a big step for me. In the past, I know what I would have done, and it would have just ended up making me feel bad about myself.


 :squeeze Congratulations! I could just kiss you for saying that!..... okay I will! :kiss Really happy for you! Now go get 'em tiger!


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## D73 (fake email) (Jan 14, 2004)

I read through this whole thread hoping for a dramatic conclusion and all I get is you finding a new girl and forgetting about this psycho?

You owe me 6 Minutes of my life! :lol


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## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

D73 said:


> I read through this whole thread hoping for a dramatic conclusion and all I get is you finding a new girl and forgetting about this psycho?


...But isn't that the way the movie usually ends? opcorn


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## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

D73 said:


> I read through this whole thread hoping for a dramatic conclusion and all I get is you finding a new girl and forgetting about this psycho?
> 
> You owe me 6 Minutes of my life! :lol


Indeed. :lol


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## living in darkness (Apr 17, 2005)

D73 said:


> I read through this whole thread hoping for a dramatic conclusion and all I get is you finding a new girl and forgetting about this psycho?
> 
> You owe me 6 Minutes of my life! :lol


Well the girl I met turned out to be gay, if that's any consolation. Yes, I fell in love with a lesbian. Needless to say, it didn't work out. Not that dramatic, but at least it's kind of funny I guess.


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## On the way (Feb 9, 2006)

living in darkness said:


> D73 said:
> 
> 
> > I read through this whole thread hoping for a dramatic conclusion and all I get is you finding a new girl and forgetting about this psycho?
> ...


She was GAY? Wow. :lol


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## AstroFan (May 8, 2005)

living in darkness said:


> D73 said:
> 
> 
> > I read through this whole thread hoping for a dramatic conclusion and all I get is you finding a new girl and forgetting about this psycho?
> ...


She could just be playing REALLY hard to get....


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