# Love hate relationship with adderall



## Abenthy (Oct 9, 2011)

I was wondering if I was the only one experiencing the following benefits of adderall and drawbacks. 

The biggest drawback to taking adderall is that it makes it difficult for me to think abstractly. My biggest strength is abstract thought. When I'm not taking adderall, I do very well in math classes. When I'm taking adderall, I do horribly in math. Another drawback is the adderall crash. After about two and a half hours, everything starts to look ugly, and I start to become robotic. A couple hours after that, anhedonia can kick in. This can be nice sometimes. I can speak to someone without caring about them or what they say, but it also means I don't care. I could say something mean to someone and do it in a completely flat way. I just don't care when I'm in that state, including how I might come off. It's also not fun to be robotic like that. 

The biggest benefit to taking it is that it gives me about two and a half hours to be good at socializing. This is very hard to time correctly , due to the mostly spontaneous nature of socializing. Another benefit is that mechanical tasks that do not require much abstract thought become easier. Jamming with an instrument becomes easier, cleaning becomes easier, paying my bills becomes easier, and generally doing a lot of tasks that do not necessarily require much abstract thought become easier. It also helps that it can also make me feel really good. 

Adderall makes it easier to conform, for two and a half hours, but it also makes me stupid at abstract thinking. It's as though I have to sacrifice one kind of intelligence for another. I cannot tell you how frustrating it is to have a pill that makes me better at socializing while significantly curtailing my usual strengths. 

I've tried to take it just as needed, but, like I said earlier, this is very hard to time. Moreover, I can become really, really, stupid during a crash. This means the crash can end up in me behaving in a way that cancels out any benefits that might have come from socializing during the first 2 and a 1/2 hours of being on adderall. 

In the end, abstract thought has won out. Socializing well is nice, but not as satisfying as abstract thought can be. I'm not saying I'm really good at it, but it is something I enjoy. 

Can anyone relate to this?


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

I've been on Adderall before and I hate the crash it comes with it. Like you you feel good for a couple of hours, you become more confident, you want to talk to people, you focus so much better and have energy. But then the crash starts and you literally feel mentally exhausted. Depression starts kicking in and I just didn't like it. I think that's the only con about it, is that and you don't eat on it.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

crash after 2.5 hours?? Sounds like you are taking the inferior Adderall IR version, take Adderall XR instead! That way the crash wont happen until like 8 hours after(at least for me).


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## Bacon (Jul 4, 2010)

The only time im happy is when im on dexedrine/addy it makes me have 0 SA and i can talk to anyone and im social. The body buzz is nice to its like an orgasm ticklish feeling


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## KurtG85 (Sep 19, 2008)

I can absolutely relate to your experience in terms of sacrificing abstract thought for increased verbal fluency, social confidence and increasing the ease of and motivation to perform boring mundane tasks. The way this relates most to me is in how I can't dance or carry as good a rhythm while on adderall as I can while off of it. The rigidity of thought it causes seems related to this for me; I don't feel as able to draw as much from creative/emotional/intuitive energy as I am from cold rational analysis. 

I've been off adderall for the last 4 months. Its been the first time I've been off of it since I was 13 or so. I have no desire to socialize or do anything that would require me to leave the house (it helps my agoraphobia significantly) but I also have depression so that factors into my lack of drive.

I'm pretty royally screwed at the moment because my whole family has been convinced that adderall is the reason why I have been only right on the edge of functionality for many years now, but what they don't understand is that its the only thing that has kept me from falling off entirely. I would rather off myself than goto the library to return books or spend an afternoon filling out meaningless forms at the moment and I'm not exaggerating. The cruel irony is that my greatest talents are probably my abstract thinking abilities as they relate to music and writing yet the only effective help I have found for enabling me to function in this robotic society is adderall which robs me of those drives. 

Hooray for the illuminati, anyone?


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## super (Sep 9, 2009)

you guys are lucky to get anti sa effects from adderal 
the only time i ever got that was my first time on ritalin.

i don't even get anti sa from opiates.
lulwut


edit: i have to have an all nighter tonight because...

1. need to fix sleeping routine
2. loads of studying to do

any tips for when im tired (now) in terms of taking dexamphetamine which im prescribed to, how often should i take it to stay awake. last time i did it i only dosed twice in a night, the stimulating effect wore off at around 1pm the next day, i was just sleepy.

any tips guys, it s gonna be a long night.


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## prufrock86 (Sep 18, 2008)

YES, I can relate. It is SO love/hate for me too with Adderall. When I first started taking it, I really felt better socially, but now it's just necessary for me to get out of bed. That being said, it really does make things seem easier, like you mentioned. On Adderall I'm more aware of my motor skills and just zoom through stuff where imagination isn't necessary, it's just like GO GO GO! Don't stop! 

But I enjoy abstract thinking, daydreaming, and writing as well and I never really thought about Adderall's effect on that. But I guess for me it's either Adderall or total crash. I hope that I haven't lost my creativity, but I guess that when on Adderall it does take a backseat to what's right in front of me.

So yes, very love/hate. Just wanted to let you know that I can relate with amphetamine drama lol


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## MissMay1977 (Oct 25, 2008)

I take Addy and don't experience any difference in abstract thinking vs concentrated thinking. My pdoc prescribed Ativan to help with the crash as it triggers my borderline symptoms.


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## daisychainsandlaughs (Feb 29, 2012)

I'm glad I somehow stumbled upon this thread on a Google hunt for answers.

I absolutely share your concern. Before Adderall I could easily joke around and socialize in class, didn't mind being the center of attention because I felt comfortable sharing my knowledge. I even voluntarily chose to speak in front of the class several times without my nerves being a problem (even with my severe social anxiety).

So to share a *horrible* Adderall experience I had tonight... The past 6 days have been me constantly immersed in reports, a thesis paper, homework assignments, studying for midterms, and all that fun stuff. I was banging everything out, working my butt off and had to spend Saturday-Monday doing my clinical rotations which went very well. So come this morning I've finished up my project I was to present (through an obsessively intense cycle of endless editing, rearranging, adjusting, deleting, etc); the end result was fantastic and I was satisfied. By the time I get to class to present I realize that I'm starting to feel a comedown MUCH too soon. By the time I walk up to the front of the class my heart is beating out of my chest and I'm literally shaky (another new thing for me). My title slide loaded, and as I went to begin I couldn't even get out the first word correctly. After mispronouncing the topic I've been researching for countless hours, it went downhill fast. I couldn't seem to focus on reading what was on the slides. I tried to ad lib, and couldn't form proper sentences. I stumbled through it and occasionally couldn't even finish thoughts - instead I just stopped in the middle of a sentence. There were moments where I was frozen with an awkward smile, my mind coming up completely blank. I knew I had to just take a deep breath and just READ THE SLIDES - but it just wouldn't happen. I never recovered, and it was such an uncomfortable mess for everyone. This kind of thing has _never_ happened to me. I still don't really understand what happened. Even with nerves I'm always able to at least express my ideas fluidly. So in the end Adderall helped me create an amazing project, only to help me completely ruin it with a horribly awkward and near-incoherent presentation.

I'm at the point where I need to make a decision to continue or stop use. After tonight it's clear that the person I am inside is forcibly pushed aside while Adderall has the wheel.


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## happily over it (May 16, 2012)

*No more Adderal*

Just quit, its not good for you. eat organic vegetables and exercise more.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

happily over it said:


> Just quit, its not good for you. eat organic vegetables and exercise more.


Talk a walk & eat stuff fertilized with the fecal matter of cows and all will be well. That's why there were no problems in the past.


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## KurtG85 (Sep 19, 2008)

I've been off it for maybe a year now. I'm back to being a near-mute total agoraphobic, un-fathomably irritable and grumpy motherf'er. On the plus side alot of my creative and athletic ambition has returned, mainly out of what feels like a drive to have some, any kind of self expression beyond telling people to stay the hell away from me. I'm back to being very, very, very avoidant. I don't trust any of these psych meds not to do long term damage but honestly if it weren't for my family treating it as if it were a crack-cocaine addiction I'd probably be right back on it.


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