# Is it possible that therapy isn't for everyone?



## RobAlister (Apr 4, 2010)

Everyone I talk to in real life or online talks about therapy like it's the best thing ever. I tried it when I was a teen and nothing worked. I tried it just recently and it still does nothing for me. I think I can handle my problems on my own. I know some of you are probably rolling your eyes or think that I'm delusional but it's true. I've helped myself way more than therapy has. What do you guys think?


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## Chatise19 (Dec 31, 2011)

I think you have to try it full force before giving up on it. Otherwise you never really tried it, u just kinda showed up and decided u didnt like it.


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## jacim (Sep 27, 2012)

I think it can absolutely be beneficial. But it's just as much about the therapist as it is about your attitude.

I've done therapy on three separate occasions. Two of the three were great, one not so much. If you can find a therapist that you click with it makes all the difference. I'd advise perhaps giving it another go but trying a different therapist.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

RobAlister said:


> Everyone I talk to in real life or online talks about therapy like it's the best thing ever. I tried it when I was a teen and nothing worked. I tried it just recently and it still does nothing for me. I think I can handle my problems on my own. I know some of you are probably rolling your eyes or think that I'm delusional but it's true. I've helped myself way more than therapy has. What do you guys think?


I think this is because those people don't have significant mental problems. They simply don't know how pitiful current treatments for mental health problems really are. They assume that as in other areas of medicine fixes are relatively simple and effective (and those professionals who earn a living from treating mental health problems don't particularly tend to come forward and say 'yeh, treatments actually are pretty ****' )

In short, those who haven't experienced treatment simply don't understand how ineffective it is. Those who do benefit significantly either have non severe issues, or experience a strong placebo effect (imo). My experience and interacting with those on the internet has been that treatments generally speaking simply don't work very well.

You also have the possible problem of potentially effective treatments _not being applied properly_.. of the maybe 6 therapists and 4 psychiatrists I have seen, only 1 therapist I had any confidence in whatsoever and none of the psychiatrists particularly impressed me.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

Therapy and medication wasn't for me either. I was in therapy for 3 years, and also tried many different medications as well. It made me significantly worse. I went in for an anxiety and dissociative disorder. Then I developed major depression, mania, suicidal thoughts and behaviour, was hospitalized twice, major unstable personality shifts. I believed that whole "it gets worse before it gets better" saying, but after 3 years of going farther and farther off the deep end, I knew it wasn't worth it and it wasn't helping. 

Once I stopped going to therapy, it's like this weight got lifted off my shoulders. Within weeks of stopping the medication and doing my own "self-therapy", my depression went away entirely. My mood has been back to normal ever since. Haven't had one instance of depression or mania or any of that. I think the medications, plus going to a therapist every week and forcing myself to talk about bad stuff just was making me worse and worse. Any time a therapist gave advice, it just wasn't helpful in my case. So, now I'm kinda back where I started, but I much prefer trying to deal with it on my own now. I think I'll take my anxiety disorder by itself, rather than my anxiety disorder + 20 induced mental disorders given by therapists and psychiatrists.

I'm sure therapy and medication help a lot of people. But I think it's a mistake to assume that everyone will benefit from that approach. For some people, therapists can't say anything beneficial that they don't already know. Or, being too focused on one's mental deficiencies can make you worse.


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## TheHaxanCloak (Jul 26, 2014)

You dont just go to therapy to vent, or to "handle your problems". Well, not every one does.

I warned my therapist from day one that she will have to lead all of our sessions, because I have nothing to complain about; I'm an optimistic, fairly happy, incredibly calm and patient guy that has had a pretty decent life. Nothing to whine about or dwell over, but yes, I have social anxiety, so there's that. She is taking me through some proper steps to get over my anxiety, little by little, week by week, and the assignments she gives me really helps push me to stay on task and not slack off on the whole getting better process.

Majority of people I see on this forum do need some form of therapy, because their thoughts and behaviors are pretty far disconnected from social norms(no disrespect) and they don't even understand how counter-productive their lifestyles(or lack there of) are to them ever conquering their anxiety. Not to mention majority of the people I see aren't practicing common sense things like being optimistic, avoiding negative thoughts, or pursuing an active lifestyle.

They can benefit a lot from therapy sessions, where the therapist will help them make sense of what they are going through, and how to approach it differently. It seems like common sense, but not every one has a firm grasp on reality, and knows things that seem obvious to you or I. A lot of people are practicing unhealthy thoughts and behaviors throughout their whole day, and a therapist can help point those out and begin the whole rewiring of the brain process.

Of course YOU helped yourself more than therapy ever has. Therapy is just one of many tools that YOU need to utilize consistently throughout your life. They aren't doing the work for you; they are just a small part of the whole "getting better" process, you're responsible for the other parts like exercise and nutrition, hobbies, pushing yourself to get out in the world, etc.

Weekly therapy is probably the greatest tool out there for 99% of the people. If it's not benefiting you, it's because you havent found a therapist that you click with or that is practicing a certain approach that might work for you(CBT and exposure + group therapy are great ones to look for)
And in my case in particular, just chatting with my therapist every week is helping my social skills out little by little. 
My brain is slowly rewiring itself to think "see? you can talk to this attractive lady just fine, so why avoid it outside of this office."
Yes, she says things I already know...but the whole act of going to therapy is what is therapeutic, it's not them shedding some spouting lines of mystical insight that benefits you. That's never really the case. 
And if you have social anxiety, going to a therapist that has group sessions/exposures with a group of other people that have social anxiety is extremely valuable. It's the most practical way to work on improving your social skills and anxiety around others, because you'll feel incredibly comfortable around other people like yourself, in a safe judgement free environment. Most valuable thing ever.

If you aren't in the mindset to embrace therapy and get excited for it, then it's probably not going to do much for you. There's lots of people here that don't take it seriously, lie constantly during their sessions, try to troll the therapist, or act super defensive and argue with them. That's when things get really counter productive. You just need to be in a healthy mindset; calm, understanding, accepting of criticism, and have the ability to listen and trust the things they say or expect from you.


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## Genie (May 22, 2013)

I seen over 10 different therapist over thee years and 20 other non-therapy help types. Some therapist (30%) had no idea what social anxiety meant and exposed me to too much and I had really really bad experiences where I froze for whole session or felt suicidal. Others didn't make any difference other than someone to talk to and maybe 2 people who understood social anxiety who were practiced in CBT was no better then just saying go and try x or y. Even before, I already thought wanted but couldn't. Totally useless. 

However in a self-help group they did live in field CBT type and that really helped.

Social anxiety professor did say SA isn't well understood most of mhealth professions although there is a good treatment for it.

I have friend with SA and acrophobia. Guy with SA in 3 years at uni he never been to a club and was scared. It took me months to keep going to learn to enjoy experience instead of just feeling anxious. In a day I visited him I managed to use lot of CBT like techniques and forced(he wanted to leave early) him to stay, keep whispering different alternatives etc and he finally learned what I learned and managed to enjoy. 

Guy with acrophobia who hasn't left house in 3 years I just visited him and we went to restaurant together and walked down few streets.

I MEAN HOLY **** WHY COULDN'T ANY OF THERAPIST DO THESE THINGS BUT I CAN?

My current conclusion is mental health treatment is still at kid stage (Freud was toddler stage) and its still not very effective at treating many issues and worst of all its almost always uses just 1 tool of talking which is like building house with wood only.

I do find it annoying people throw around therapy as if its cure for all when in reality it's well studied that someone with SA will have difficulty in general because of SA they can go to one, then open up. Its quite common to go and never go again according to studies (unless therapist know how to handle)

What I hate most is the attitude or implied message therapy will help and if it isn't you didn't try hard or you had wrong attitude. Pointing finger at patient instead of seeing how therapy is flawed or could be improved.


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## Niccolo (Oct 29, 2014)

I wish I had listened to the negative things I read about therapy from forums like this because they all turned out to be true. A while back I was reading about anxiety through an answer site someone said if you could make it to therapy they don't see your issues as severe, I was shocked when I actually heard the same thing come out of my therapist mouth as if it were true that seeking help meant you didn't need it you must be faking. I've heard a lot and seen a lot inside and out, things that would make you not want to go to a hospital again. I can't understand why anyone would work in the health care field if you don't care about people but it happens a lot. Could be for job security, fixing their own problems, or paying off student loan debt who knows but don't believe for one second they care because they don't. If you must let strangers tinker around in your head at the very least tape record every session. They will get amnesia if you ever have to sue or file a complaint. It's your word against theres and who's going to believe a mental patient. You can avoid all the wasted time, money, trauma etc by going to the library and picking up self help books.


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## Implicate (Feb 1, 2011)

Some people are perfectly capable of doing self CBT and such to work through their problems.


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## Kind Of (Jun 11, 2014)

No, I absolutely think it's true. Some people do better with someone else's analysis or a structured approach, and others don't really benefit so much from the social approach or from having someone else involved in their problems. It's a matter of how personal you feel it is, how good you are at objectively analyzing your problems and making use of tools on your own, and whether or not you can find someone tuned to the "just right" setting.


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## The Sorrow (Aug 29, 2012)

I don't trust this. I know some people that had therapy. It made everything worse, now they are either drug addicts(not illegal drugs, they are addicted to medicine they got there) or committed suicide after years of treatment. So I have fear. Also the therapists earn a lot of money with this and so it is no wonder they will try to push therapy on as many people as possible.

I think the people that gained a lot from therapy just needed someone to talk too.


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## meandernorth (Nov 12, 2014)

Is it possible that it won't be effective? Sure. For a lot of people, however, it can work. Whether it's a reason to leave the house (stop isolation), receive some support (self-esteem), and get some help with strategy (steering currents), it can certainly work. 

I'm in therapy now as I try to work through some struggles. It's not a magic pill and, like other endeavors, it takes time and effort.

It might not work for everyone. There is rarely a "one size fits all" approach to addressing any given situation. It might be worth trying, though.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

There are lots of different kinds of therapy. I like pet therapy.


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