# Grad Committee Meetings and their horrificness



## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

So I had my first grad committee meeting today (started my M.Sc in Jan) and HOLY COW they are the worst things ever for someone with SA. 

There were three profs. And they just kept staring at me and asking questions and I didn't know the answers and augh I am going to be running this through my head for the next eight years. Seriously, how can people with SA survive grad committee meetings? I have fairly mild SA and this still threw me for a huge loop and I barely made it through without crying. 

It was just supposed to be a meet and greet thing, 30 min tops, but they asked so many questions it lasted like 80. I feel like all the profs hated me. They thought I was an idiot. I just can't get my head out of this horrible self-hatred loop.

I have to do this at least two more times and I just....the thought is nauseating.

Grad students! Commiserate with me! Make me feel less alone! DO IT. I feel really crummy.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

I can honestly say that these committee meetings are the most stressful things I've ever done. We have a qualifying exam early in the PhD where they test to see if you are qualified to continue in the program (oral exam), and that was just heart-attack-inducing. They ask you questions about your research, and they also ask you general questions about pretty much anything you've ever learned in undergrad / grad courses. For some they ask you to derive a formula on the blackboard right in front of them. Sometimes you are just standing there staring blankly at the prof because you have no idea how to answer the question. I managed to make it through, but standing in front of a bunch of professors who are grilling you makes you so nervous you lose about 50 IQ points. After the exam I realized that the questions weren't really that bad, but being in that situation made them seem impossible.

After passing that exam we have normal committee meetings. I panicked a great deal about them, but when I actually did it it wasn't bad at all. It was much less formal than the qualifying exam and it was over fairly quickly. That doesn't stop me from freaking out about them though.

I suppose the moral of the story is, it's not as bad as you think. You'll make it through. The psychological stuff (anxiety, panic, depression, etc.) is the main oppressor, not the meeting itself.


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## Eraserhead (Sep 23, 2006)

My first committee meeting was a terrible experience. I didn't sleep a wink the night before, as I was struggling to finish my (much-belated) report. I started my presentation the morning of, and finished it 10 minutes after my committee members had arrived. I felt like I'd learned and accomplished nothing up to that point. 

And yet, they passed me. I even think they liked me. That was probably the greatest relief of my life.

My second committee meeting was a cake walk compared to the first. I was well-prepared and confident, and by then I'd already built a good relationship with all the professors. Luckily they're all quite down-to-earth, approachable people.

It'll get easier. You'll gain confidence and realize that there's nothing to worry about.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

Ape in space said:


> I can honestly say that these committee meetings are the most stressful things I've ever done. We have a qualifying exam early in the PhD where they test to see if you are qualified to continue in the program (oral exam), and that was just heart-attack-inducing. They ask you questions about your research, and they also ask you general questions about pretty much anything you've ever learned in undergrad / grad courses.


That sounds like what I just went through. I'm sure yours was way harder being in a PhD program, but yeah. One of my questions was how long does it take adenyl cyclase to make the second messenger cAMP. I was all uhh...like..not alot of time perhaps maybe? Nervous laughter? Haaha?



Ape in space said:


> I managed to make it through, but standing in front of a bunch of professors who are grilling you makes you so nervous you lose about 50 IQ points.


I KNOW gawd I'm glad I'm not the only one who felt this way. They just LOOK at you and your anxiety goes through the roof and you blank. There is just so much room for error and negative judgement and nrrrg.

Thanks for your response. I feel better just knowing I'm not the only one that finds this situation tough. I'm glad your current meetings are going well and don't stress you out as much. I hope I can eventually get used to them but right now I can't see myself ever having a committee meeting without panicking.


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## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

Hmmm.....Who knew it could actually pay off to be stupid???


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

Eraserhead said:


> My second committee meeting was a cake walk compared to the first. I was well-prepared and confident, and by then I'd already built a good relationship with all the professors. Luckily they're all quite down-to-earth, approachable people.
> 
> It'll get easier. You'll gain confidence and realize that there's nothing to worry about.


Thanks for your response. My committee members are both super friendly and approachable too. I'm glad you were able to build a good relationship with them, hopefully I can do the same. I think I have to try, because the reason I was so nervous is because they didn't know me, you know? First impressions blaarrgh.

I'll never NOT worry about these meetings, sorry :b. But hopefully it will get easier like it did for you.


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## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

Dude, I've been losing sleep over this sort of thing! I've been toying with the idea of a particular grad program but they're very clear that at the end of the semester you have to present your project with your group to a panel of profs who are active within the industry. I mean, I want to pee myself just thinking about it. If I screw up it's not just the teachers that see but valuable connections and potential employers. The fact that my anxiety is THIS HIGH about it and I haven't even applied is troublesome.  Even just a sit-down chat with one of the guest profs yesterday to talk about the program felt like I was pushing my limits. 

In other words, I very much admire you!


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## sansd (Mar 22, 2006)

How frequently do grad students typically have these?


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## Eraserhead (Sep 23, 2006)

carambola said:


> How frequently do grad students typically have these?


In my department, it's annual.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

seafolly said:


> Dude, I've been losing sleep over this sort of thing! I've been toying with the idea of a particular grad program but they're very clear that at the end of the semester you have to present your project with your group to a panel of profs who are active within the industry. I mean, I want to pee myself just thinking about it. If I screw up it's not just the teachers that see but valuable connections and potential employers. The fact that my anxiety is THIS HIGH about it and I haven't even applied is troublesome.  Even just a sit-down chat with one of the guest profs yesterday to talk about the program felt like I was pushing my limits.


Every semester? Oh goodness that sounds terrifying. For me it's only annual.

On the plus side, it doesn't sound like there might be as much grilling/intense questioning in that scenario, as they aren't actually involved in you getting your degree? If I'm reading what you explained correctly? I mean personally, I'm usually OK with presentations, as people don't usually ask that many questions. My committee was different because they are responsible for passing/failing me, which is why they were so tough. So your questions might be pretty easy, if they are just coming from outside profs? I'd hope so anyways. I guess it depends on how much the actual presentation worried you, as opposed to the questions afterwards.

As a whole though, I've found grad school much less stressful than undergrad so far (granted I'm only six weeks in but you know). So I hope you can push yourself if this program is what you really want, because it seems the stressful days (while REALLY STRESSFUL) are few and far between. If that helps. I hope you make a decision that you are happy with and that your anxiety isn't the number one factor .


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