# Intimacy



## melancholyscorpio (Aug 14, 2015)

When was the last time you experienced physical / emotional intimacy.

I haven't really experienced. I met a female online in America a few years ago. I was on holidays over there and she wanted to meet me.

We met and had relations, but I didn't feel intimacy.

I want to hold a woman and feel her warmth. I want to feel comfortable and at peace with her.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

Physical I don't really want to talk about - and no-one really needs to hear about that. Emotional earlier today.

Don't worry OP - you'll meet someone eventually. You seem like a very nice person - you just haven't met that special person yet.


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## melancholyscorpio (Aug 14, 2015)

Thanks @ harrison. Appreciate your comment and advice.

@ girl with a pen:
I met her online and we were in touch for I think 2 years, but during that time she was possessive, needy and would get jealous over every little thing.

It was my fault for leading her on. I didn't mean to. Our situation was complicated. 

I was going to America for a holiday and she wanted to meet me. We met and she was the pursuer, and we just ended up getting physical - had sex, kissed, cuddling. I just went along but emotionally I wasn't invested.

Honestly I think I just went along with the physical stuff is because I haven't had sex before and since she was into me I went with it.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

Five and a half or so years ago. Pretty sure it's never going to happen again. I'm not the kind of person people want to get close to.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

No idea


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

I don't know, can't remember anything specific.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

like a year and a half since I had someone I could be emotionally intimate with but that was a mistake and opened me up for a bit of abuse.

physically not long ago, but it was like a year before that. and now I'd say it's going to be longer than that again. 

I haven't had a good relationship for probably 5 years. my last serious & longer term relationship was safe but not very intimate.


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## Cool Ice Dude55 (Jan 7, 2014)

Literally never eveR? Am i the only one or?


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

*When was the last time you experienced physical / emotional intimacy.*

Never.


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## Crisigv (Aug 3, 2013)

It's been a long time. Probably partly why I am going crazy.


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## Nick Attwell (Jun 16, 2014)

Intimacy without sex/sex without intimacy

The former for me

What's your preference?

Of course, you can have both


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## EndTimes (Aug 10, 2018)

Cool Ice Dude55 said:


> Literally never eveR? Am i the only one or?


Nope, you are not the only one.

Never here too


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## emilyf1991 (Nov 3, 2019)

Hmmm tough question. Physical idk if I have ever. I have had sex, but I have never let someone just hold me while I sleep, or felt comfortable holding their hand, or just randomly hugging or kissing. I can do emotional, that was probably idk about 5 months ago. However, I have known this person a long time, and it was easy with them. However, none with intimacy with people I have dated. I havent been able to do that.


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## Nick Attwell (Jun 16, 2014)

One night stands maybe ok, but as for hookers, just the sex


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## smoothlinghs (Jun 2, 2018)

I never liked sexuality. I don't find people (or anything else) sexually interesting. I am really sorry, it is not personal but I don't want to meet anyones genitals.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

melancholyscorpio said:


> Thanks @ harrison. Appreciate your comment and advice.
> 
> @ girl with a pen:
> I met her online and we were in touch for I think 2 years, but during that time she was possessive, needy and would get jealous over every little thing.


 :lol

That sounds normal to me.


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

smoothlinghs said:


> I don't want to meet anyones genitals.


Yes I'm not overly fond of the idea either but maybe it's ok under the right circumstances, it must be cause so many seem to like doing that : /


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## smoothlinghs (Jun 2, 2018)

blue2 said:


> Yes I'm not overly fond of the idea either but maybe it's ok under the right circumstances, it must be cause so many seem to like doing that : /


It is not always a mark that people are doing the right thing. Hitler, China, religion wars, mass murders etc. A lot of people has been very very wrong during the history. I don't follow the big mass.


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## Ampata (Feb 3, 2016)

I struggle with both although I do fall in love quite often and I currently am :grin2: real intimacy is hard though bc it means allowing that person to potentially hurt you and that im not fine with. so i guess real emotional intimacy hasnt happened for me yet. it scares me big time but not as much as sex. ive taken steps towards it this year and im proud of myself for coming this far but actual sex still is a big step, i think. im still hopeful though that soon therell be a person i can trust and love enough to experience it with.


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## Rumplesty (Aug 6, 2019)

Emotional intimacy happens with friends often. Physical intimacy like sex then no. Sex is honestly kinda gross anyways.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

A long time ago.


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## Replicante (Oct 31, 2017)

About three years ago


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## user533 (Sep 15, 2019)

ive had a few random experiences, like a woman you just met and she invites you to her house and you kiss her and almost have s3x, but it never lasted long. this was yearsssss ago.

i never had a true romance with a girl in real life. someone you're just fond of, that you want to hold close to you, and things like that.

the only 'thing' i had was an online relationship. yes, it brought me love, but eventually the woman got tired of me and simply vanished.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Maybe 2011...you really stop paying attention after that much time. It’s to the point that even basic touch like a person rubbing my shoulder can make me jump because it’s so foreign to me. Actually about to listen a BBC podcast about touch and it’s importance & the effects of lack of it.

As for emotional intimacy, I’m not sure I’ve ever been emotionally close anyone, at least not long term, may have been some short lived fleeting experiences once or twice


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## wmu'14 (Sep 17, 2010)

never, not even a kiss


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## Sekiro (Dec 29, 2019)

Cuddles are my fave :3


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## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

Emotional, last year. Physical, in a past life perhaps. :um


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## nexile90 (May 28, 2017)

Another 'never' here! Being emotionally closed and apparently physically uninteresting to all, it has no chance of happening.


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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

Years. I don't know if I remember how to speak the language anymore TBH.


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## Reverie101 (Jan 5, 2018)

Feb. 2019 Its all solo sailing from here.


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## Tetragammon (Jun 2, 2015)

Never. Pretty sure I have issues with intimacy. My parents were never big on either physical or emotional intimacy; I've always hated to be touched, even by my parents, so I think they learned pretty fast not to hug me, and even when they did it was just awkward and uncomfortable for me. They weren't big on "sharing feelings" or any of that either. And I've never been close enough with anyone else, probably because I'm emotionally stunted. I wonder sometimes if my lack of "emotional intelligence" might be the main contributing factor to my issues with intimacy and commitment. 

But then I've always been an extreme introvert and a loner. I probably don't really understand the meaning of 'intimate.' And that's fine with me.


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## aqwsderf (Aug 16, 2013)

How do you not mean to lead someone on


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

Proper physical and emotional intimacy, like sleeping with our backs against one another's and rolling over for hugs during the night. Early 2010. That was proper, quality love and I was too young and stupid to recognise it. But I had been in two relationships following that and I suppose there was some kind of intimacy. 

It was just never as good as what I experienced with that particular woman. She is always in my heart somewhere. Sweet memories.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Emotional? Right now, with someone from here.

Physical? I had a few hugs with the woman I dated three years ago, but nothing more than that. Never held hands, never kissed, nothing. Seeing other able-bodied people get it so easily makes me happy for them, since they have the luxury of taking relationships for granted. Even mildly disabled people don't have that luxury.


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## cafune (Jan 11, 2011)

Emotional, I suppose a coupla days ago? Physical, well, I'm a bit of a handsy person with those I'm familiar/comfortable with so touches like fingers on a forearm, palm on a back, etc. aren't so unusual so um just before sh-t hit the fan with the virus. Less innocent touches tho, months :<


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

Physical, 2016. Emotional, 2015.


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## Musicfan (Mar 4, 2017)

Never gonna happen.


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## Elle Knight (Jan 18, 2019)

Years ago. I cant stand for anyone to touch me anymore. I just feel like you’ll just take away a part of me that I’ll never get back.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

I've neither experienced any type of intimacy in my life and I never will. Nobody will ever see or think of me that way.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Persephone The Dread said:


> No idea


Seriously though I've had moments that should count (in past relationships,) but probably don't. Also platonic stuff. I don't think I get the same chemicals from real time behaviour that other people do most of the time.

'I want to feel comfortable and at peace' this seem ambiguous. I think I could get this emotion from a music concert, or walking along a beach, or swimming in the sea. I really liked the Isle of Wight because there were beaches with very few people around where I was staying. I also like lots of Northern France near the sea. I like specific individuals too but I think the population density makes me appreciate people less maybe. I start to appreciate stuff that doesn't include them because they're everywhere.


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## The Linux Guy (Jul 11, 2013)

There was only one girl in my entire life, that tried to get intimate with me. She failed because she was too pushy.


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