# Age difference for dating



## HumiliatedGuy (Jan 13, 2008)

What's the minimum age that is possible for me to date? Not that it's ever going to happen. What about when I hit around 43 or so?


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## nightmahr (Jan 2, 2008)

It mostly depends on what sort of person you are. I mean you just don't want your generation-culture thing to separate you from someone, but not everyone fits into those the same.

For example, the oldest people I would have liked to date have been 25, but if I met someone a bit older whom I could still connect with, then I imagine I'd be okay with it.


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

There is no minimum. It's just gets harder to find single women.


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

HumiliatedGuy said:


> What's the minimum age that is possible for me to date? Not that it's ever going to happen. What about when I hit around 43 or so?


I would think as long as the other person's of legal age, and both of you have a lot in common, it's up to you as far as what you're comfortable with :stu Age is just a number.


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

Well I read it as the oldest age he could be dating at...

I guess I just read it wrong. Ignore my post. :b


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

My sister is 29. Her b/f is 49.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

BeNice said:


> My sister is 29. Her b/f is 49.


and i thought 4 years was a lot!


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## AJFA88 (Jun 16, 2007)

when i was living in NJ there was this girl at work who was dating this 36 year old guy. She was 19. 
I think, regardless of age, if two people connect, understand, and are happy with eachother then it doesnt matter. but then again, it doesnt always apply to everyone.


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

I am 39 and my husband is 52. We have been married for six years. When I met him in my early 30s, I had already been married and divorced (and a few serious and non serious relationships thereafter) and had a young teenage son, so I was hardly some doe-eyed babe in the woods. Some might think that its a BIG age difference but it doesnt seem like it to me. I agree with Annie that age is just a number.

But I do think that if I had met my husband when I was 18 and he was 31 we wouldnt have gotten together, as I WAS a doe-eyed babe in the woods then (talking about myself there, no offense to the younger population on this board intended). 

Our marriage has its ups and downs as any long term relationship does but we always manage to work through things and overall have a strong marriage. Relationships with age differences depends on the people in it and the circumstance. I am not sure one could name a "minimum" number as it really depends on the people.

Just my thoughts...


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## Zen Mechanics (Aug 3, 2007)

my gf's friend dated a 38 year old dude with 2 kids for like 4 months. she's 19.. i thought it was extremely weird


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## nenad (Jan 3, 2008)

To avoid any weirdness I think the minimum age now would be 30. Later on maybe 35. Also depends on how young you look, and how rich you are!


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## EagerMinnow84 (Sep 1, 2007)

BeNice said:


> My sister is 29. Her b/f is 49.


 :shock


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

And then I've also had sex with a woman who was 43 when I was in my early 20's. 

I do think, though, that age differences like that in a relationship can present some challenges and they are not for everybody. With my sister and her boyfriend it's pretty good. I like him a lot and I'm glad he's her b/f. If they broke up I would be sad and probably have less things to do. He's awesome.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Age is just a number...






...as long as the guy is the one that's older. But a man more than a year younger than his girlfriend? Now THAT'S scandalous.


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## mserychic (Oct 2, 2004)

vicente said:



> ...as long as the guy is the one that's older. But a man more than a year younger than his girlfriend? Now THAT'S scandalous.


My stepdad is 10 years younger than my mum :b As long as both people are legal it doesn't really matter.


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

nenad said:


> To avoid any weirdness I think the minimum age now would be 30. Later on maybe 35. Also depends on how young you look, and how rich you are!


That is probably right, if you wanted to know what society would not have any problem with. Sure two people with a larger gap may find that they are the perfect match, but it may be hardwired into our brains to think that a 40 year old going out with an 18 year old is weird.


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## Mc Borg (Jan 4, 2008)

Me personally would only date girls with a 2 and a half year age difference.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

They say take your age, divide it in half, and add 7 years to find the minimum age you should be dating. 

It's funny, but it actually makes sense in some ways, particularly if you're fairly young.


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## Username (Oct 27, 2004)

Whatever state law allows.

Just don't ask a state trooper what those laws are. And definately don't follow up by asking if his daughter is free tonight.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

I'm sure 18 will always work for me!


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## archaic (Jan 16, 2006)

I'd love to see my parents' reaction if I were to date someone more than 5 years older than me.
I would just make sure you two expect the same things out of the relationship. My friend, when she was 19 or 20, dated a 28-year-old. He bought them a scrapbook on the second date... :eyes


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## slurpazillia (Nov 18, 2005)

---


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Classified said:


> Sure two people with a larger gap may find that they are the perfect match, but it may be hardwired into our brains to think that a 40 year old going out with an 18 year old is weird.


That's because it is weird. He's old enough to be her father.

The other week on the TV show "Big Shots" Dylan McDermott's character was dating this girl who was something like 22, despite being old enough to be her dad. For a romantic evening with her he opened a 1989 bottle of wine (wine nearly as old as the girl!) and she said "Do you have any hard lemonade?" His character wanted to stay home and she wanted to go out to the clubs and party.


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## RubyLynn (Jan 21, 2008)

I probably wouldn't go more than 10 years in either direction, but it's up to you who you feel comfortable dating. 

Reasons I wouldn't seriously date a much older man include:
1) Not wanting to outlive my husband
2) Possibility of wanting children

Reasons I wouldn't seriously date a much younger man include:
1) Wild oats
2) Couldn't retire together

If you're just dating casually, it probably doesn't matter as much. If it transitions into a LTR and your life ambitions mesh without too much compromise, I say go for it.


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## ANCIENT (Aug 9, 2005)

my age limit is 18-40. i was trying to get with a 32 year old a few months back, but i never had the guts to ask her out.


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## AJFA88 (Jun 16, 2007)

Age dont matter, as long as both are older than 18. However, if can be an issue if the older one wishes to have children, get married, and what not while the younger one just wants to date, or simply isnt ready.


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## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

I like someone whos just over 4 years older than me. Im 19, nearly 20. The age difference never really bothered me.


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## markx (Dec 22, 2007)

glas said:


> ...the thought of dating someone in their early 40s is kind of ... exciting.


Hiiii!! :boogie :lol

I'm just generalizing here, but from what I've seen on Match.com, the average young woman (18 to 30-ish) sets an upper age limit of 35 and that limit only begins to increase when she's almost that age herself. She wouldn't even consider a guy who's well over 40 but she'll bend the rules if he happens to be rich or famous - George Clooney (46) for example.


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## HumiliatedGuy (Jan 13, 2008)

markx said:


> I'm just generalizing here, but from what I've seen on Match.com, the average young woman (18 to 30-ish) sets an upper age limit of 35 and that limit only begins to increase when she's almost that age herself. She wouldn't even consider a guy who's well over 40 but she'll bend the rules if he happens to be rich or famous - George Clooney (46) for example.


Finally an honest answer. I think the people who say "it doesn't matter" are considering what they think of others. But if comes to thinking of oneself, then the true answer comes out, which would be similar to what you're saying.
I've been very depressed for the last week knowing that I'm going to be lonely for the rest of my life.


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## markx (Dec 22, 2007)

Yes, it's quite depressing to think that you might never make an emotional connection to someone. As much as I have tried to accept that, I'll probably still be hoping for a breakthrough when I'm living in an old folks home. I'll still be chasing girls, I just won't remember _why_. :con

My post above is just a broad generalization though and there are some women out there who will consider an older guy. I've had hits from 18 and 22 year olds at Match but I'm double-disadvantaged in that I'm below average height as well and most women (younger or older, taller or shorter) can't see beyond that. I can lie about my age and get away with it (good genes) but I can't really lie about my height.

All you can do is keep hoping and believing and maybe one day fate will smile on you.


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## Eraserhead (Sep 23, 2006)

I have a 20-year old female friend who's in a steady relationship with a 43-year-old. They met when she was just 19. 

It struck me as very strange at first, but I got used to it.


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## Karizma (Feb 1, 2008)

im 21 and my partner is 35, when we met i was 19 and he was 33. as people clicked on as to how old we both were they were a bit shocked, but they got over it after a while. well they had to, we have a daughter now lol.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

RubyLynn said:


> Reasons I wouldn't seriously date a much older man include:
> 1) Not wanting to outlive my husband


Yeah, I thought of that issue too. Let's say women live 5 years longer than men on average, so if a woman were to marry a man 20 years her senior she could expect to be widowed when she still has a quarter century to go.


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## markx (Dec 22, 2007)

Call me cynical, but the way things work nowadays, the chances are that you'd be separated/divorced long before that happened anyway. :stu I say, take your chances. Go with the flow if you find someone who makes you happy - you never know what tomorrow will bring.


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

markx said:


> I say, take your chances. Go with the flow if you find someone who makes you happy - you never know what tomorrow will bring.


 :agree


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## Becky (Nov 5, 2003)

UltraShy said:


> RubyLynn said:
> 
> 
> > Reasons I wouldn't seriously date a much older man include:
> ...


Although that's true I don't think you should totally discount dating someone who's older just because they could die before you. My boyfriend is 20 years older than me and I have thought about him croaking before me, but I could always die in a wreck tomorrow and he'd out live me.

Besides, every minute with him is worth it.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

i dont have any limit for dating. but if it were for a relationship then id say between 6 years younger than me and 1 year older than me. although i relate better to women that are older than me (40+)


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## Dudleyville (Mar 25, 2007)

I am sure somebody like Catherine Zeta Jones who is 25 years younger than Michael Douglas knew she was getting into a marriage where if she does not die in some tragic accident than she is 100% guaranteed to outlive her husband by alot. I am sure she knows she is going to marry another man again once her husband bites the dust.


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## Karizma (Feb 1, 2008)

UltraShy said:


> RubyLynn said:
> 
> 
> > Reasons I wouldn't seriously date a much older man include:
> ...


to be honest that never even crossed my mind when I got with my partner lol. I couldnt go out with people my own age because all my life I had hung out with older people thus, had done alot of things they hadnt experienced yet.
:sus :sus 
The only thing that put me off being with someone 15 years older than me, was the assumption that he would always think he knew better because hes "been there, done that"...but he never did. :mushy :mushy


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Becky said:


> UltraShy said:
> 
> 
> > RubyLynn said:
> ...


I don't think age should stop people from being together, but there clearly are downsides to major age differences.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Dudleyville said:


> I am sure somebody like Catherine Zeta Jones who is 25 years younger than Michael Douglas knew she was getting into a marriage where if she does not die in some tragic accident than she is 100% guaranteed to outlive her husband by alot. I am sure she knows she is going to marry another man again once her husband bites the dust.


The rich & famous are a special case. She's a trophy wife that he bought. The richer men get the hotter & younger their wives get. It's like a rich guy in a new BMW; a status symbol.


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## Dudleyville (Mar 25, 2007)

In my parents case my mother is actually older than my dad, but not by much it's only a 3 year difference with him being born in 1948 and her being born in 1945.


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

UltraShy said:


> I don't think age should stop people from being together, but there clearly are downsides to major age differences.


There is a "downside" to every relationship if you look hard enough.

I cannot spend my life wondering about the what ifs. If I had thought that way when I met my husband (13 years older than me), I would have missed out on the true love of my life, a man who is so gentle and kind and understands me so well. I am glad I didnt pass up the greatest opportunity of my life. :love

Love isnt about numbers, or what others think. Its about two people.


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## Karizma (Feb 1, 2008)

Penny said:


> UltraShy said:
> 
> 
> > I don't think age should stop people from being together, but there clearly are downsides to major age differences.
> ...


 :ditto beautifully said! :clap


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## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

If there's grass on the field, play ball! And for the oldies, they need love too! =P


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## LonelyEnigma (Jan 7, 2007)

Removed


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## BluOrchid (Feb 2, 2008)

Age ain't nothing but a number.


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## opinion_m (Feb 15, 2008)

as long as they aren't young enough to be your child.. I wouldn't go for anyone 10yrs+ or 10yr- if you were a guy. My parents are 15 difference but it wierds me out to think that when my mom was 18 my dad was 33....
and why would an older man want to go after the extremely young ones..? Why not someone around your age?

My personal preference is guys that are 5+or 5-


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## wishfulthinking (Nov 28, 2006)

I'm 21 and had a crush on a 19 year old not too long ago. Some people I know acted like it was a crime cause the guy is younger, but hell it's only two years difference. I don't see what the big deal is. Being 21 I would date anywhere from 18 to 26. I'm not too experienced in relationships so a mature 18 year old in college could probably hold his own with me. I think to an extent it's about the individuals involved. I wouldn't go any lower than that and I wouldn't date anyone in high school though :lol .


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