# Never Been Kissed



## mademoiselle T (Jun 24, 2006)

I'm rapidly approaching thirty and I've never been kissed. When I was twenty, it didn't bother me that I was never in a relationship because I assumed that nature would take its course, and I would find someone eventually. Now that I'm approaching the big 3-0, I find that my selection is diminishing. Most people my age are married with children. I've tried the personals, only to get responses from people 15+ my senior. I noticed that the women my age seem to go from relationship to relationship, and some even juggle boyfriends; a lot of the women at work all have a bevy of beaus waiting in line for them. Everyone knows I'm single, so I must be looking in the wrong places. Where would be a good place to find nice people? I'm agnostic, so that makes it a bit harder for me.


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## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

Hmm, dating sites can get a bit old and there are some odd people out there ( you can read all the creepy emails I've gotten in my other post from some 43 year old man). 
Personally I think the best way to meet some interesting folks is to join a club of a sort, volunteer someplace, what are your interests? you'll meet plenty of people with similar aspirations as yourself. You can always hit the good old bar/club scene, though I highly doubt anyone with SA will find it appealing. I've only been to a bar couple times, pretty pointless consider I'm not 21 yet, and a club , which was rather unpleasant experience with all the smoking and loud individuals.. ick. 
Besides that, a lot of it is up to you, its all about body language but I'm sure you know that.


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## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

I'm 23 and never kissed/been kissed. I can't go to clubs or anything like that because none of them interest me and I'd just freak out going near them. Blah.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

31 and NBK :fall.
The similar interest thing is the way to go. If I can ever get through the fear of judgment (very gunshy after a bad experience), I could do well.

Hang in there :yes.


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## Ventress (Jul 30, 2006)

Everybody's got their "thing" -- something they feel really embarrassed about caused by SAD. Mine is that I haven't had a job in almost 8 years. It makes you feel left behind somehow. 

With relationships, I'm so done with them. They really take WAY too much time and energy from you and you end up in a lot of pain either during and/or after the relationship breaks up. I have a friend who is 28 and also has never been kissed, although, she's NOT SA. But, I keep telling her that she is SO lucky that she's not needing to dodge some ex-boyfriend and try to deal with all the heartache of a failed attempt. 

I'd rather trade places with you. After splitting up with my ex six months ago, I'm still dealing with my broken heart and feelings for him. Relationships basically suck...


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## Grantonio (Jan 20, 2006)

meeting some nice people...hmm...i have no problems cuz i go to college and there are absolutely tons of people to meet. So if college is out of question, go join a athletic club or even ask your friends if they know anybody thats single and wants to hang out. All my relationships have been with people i met through my friends. You know, to get that first kiss, you could always just go to the bars, have a few drinks and lay one on somebody, any guy loves that ****.


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## Grantonio (Jan 20, 2006)

meeting some nice people...hmm...i have no problems cuz i go to college and there are absolutely tons of people to meet. So if college is out of question, go join a athletic club or even ask your friends if they know anybody thats single and wants to hang out. All my relationships have been with people i met through my friends. You know, to get that first kiss, you could always just go to the bars, have a few drinks and lay one on somebody, any guy loves that ****.


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## jms42 (May 15, 2006)

I've been kissed a few times . When I was around 8 years old. 
Does that even count?


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## medea (May 6, 2006)

I was molested by my dad and brother and a couple of other people and I gained a lot of weight I guess to protect myself from sexual attention. I've lost a lot of it and guy seem to think I'm cute now so I've been kissed a lot more lately but I suck at it, it's so embarrassing. I hate guys who just jam their tongue down your throat, I never know if I'm suppose to suck it or rub my tongue against it or what. It can be very embarrassing to not know how to kiss well by my age.


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## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

Grantonio said:


> meeting some nice people...hmm...i have no problems cuz i go to college and there are absolutely tons of people to meet. So if college is out of question, go join a athletic club or even ask your friends if they know anybody thats single and wants to hang out. All my relationships have been with people i met through my friends. You know, to get that first kiss, you could always just go to the bars, have a few drinks and lay one on somebody, any guy loves that @#%$.


Bleh, wish I had friends to meet people thru.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

ColdFury said:


> I'm 23 and never kissed/been kissed. I can't go to clubs or anything like that because none of them interest me and I'd just freak out going near them. Blah.


Yeah when I was younger and dumber (under 21) I went to bars and clubs talked to girls danced but nothing ever came of it. I now realize unless I'm looking for a one night stand I'm not going to find anyone in those places. Since then those places have lost their attractiveness. I still go every once in a while but don't get off my rear and approach girls because it seems pointless now. I pretty much just drink and talk to people I know. One of the funniest times I had at a club was new years (way too many people there) when I approached this girl introduced myself and she was trying to leave me and all her other friends were pushing her back towards me. Usually the problem is the friends pulling the girl away from you saying they want to go home.

School is supposed to be a great place to meet girls, but you'd have to be into younger girls.

They say you can meet someone anywhere (walking down the street, in a store, while driving, church, the library, gym etc.) but for us it's not that easy. I always think of things in terms of what is relevant and acceptable.

Is trying to get a number from someone at the store relevant? Is it acceptable? It's going to come off awkward for the other person so your chances unless you're smooth are going to be lower.

So the next question for me is when is it relevant? 
If you are part of a group then naturally it is expected that you'll get to know each other and in turn it could turn into something. The advice of volunteering or a club was good. My problem is it is hard to find people my age in a club or volunteering for something. The activities I'm into are usually either dominated by males or are things people older than me would be into. If you really wanted to you could find clubs that are generally for women your age and join them even if you don't have any interest other than meeting some women.

I definitely feel for you though. Although it's a ways a way being single at 30 is a big fear. At that point most women are married and are having children. This means you're probably going to end up with a divorced woman that already has children and constant issues are going to come up with the children and their father. You're essentially entering a broken family and somehow trying to fix it. I hope you find a great woman that just never got picked.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Grantonio said:


> meeting some nice people...hmm...i have no problems cuz i go to college and there are absolutely tons of people to meet. So if college is out of question, go join a athletic club or even ask your friends if they know anybody thats single and wants to hang out. All my relationships have been with people i met through my friends. You know, to get that first kiss, you could always just go to the bars, have a few drinks and lay one on somebody, any guy loves that @#%$.


Just make sure the lady is single otherwise you might turn and get socked. But I guess you'd still be at risk of getting slapped by the girl.


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## Grantonio (Jan 20, 2006)

no no no scairy. I'm refering to a girl kissing a guy, not a guy randomly planting one on a chick with a boyfriend.


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## Carbon Breather (Mar 13, 2005)

scairy said:


> Although it's a ways a way being single at 30 is a big fear. At that point most women are married and are having children.


When you're around 30 you can get women from 20 to 40, so you have a much wider range to choose from.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

> .i have no problems cuz i go to college and there are absolutely tons of people to meet.


I never found that to be true...


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

medea said:


> I hate guys who just jam their tongue down your throat, I never know if I'm suppose to suck it or rub my tongue against it or what. It can be very embarrassing to not know how to kiss well by my age.


Don't worry. I'm 33 and i'm not sure what to do with my tongue either(or the other one's tongue for that matter) :lol :um 
So most of the time i don't shove mine in the mouth and i pray to God that the partner will do the same :lol 
I'm not too fond of that kind of kissing anyway. I almost find it disgusting.

I don't mind lip to lip action, but no tongue please...if possible :fall


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## Carbon Breather (Mar 13, 2005)

Make out kissing without tongue !? Hmm.... is that possible ? I mean it must get pretty boring after a while.... :b


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## C3P0 (Apr 10, 2006)

I'm 30 y/o and never have been kissed either, but I think the meaning or expression behind a kiss is more important than just the mechanics or technicalities of a kiss. Sure, you could technically kiss something, but if there is no meaning in it, then it's a discountable experience. However, if there is an expression of love and romance in the kiss during a romantic time or moment, then it will likely have maximal emotional impact and stick in the mind, rather than a fun and fleeting kiss that doesn't mean anything. So, being past 30 y/o is all the more reason to make sure your first kiss is one that really means something.


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

> You know, to get that first kiss, you could always just go to the bars, have a few drinks and lay one on somebody, any guy loves that @#%$.


Hmmm....do guys really like being kissed by strangers at random? I don't know if I can pull that off. I've had guys shrink away from me after I comment that I like their cologne. If they react like that from an innocent compliment, I'm afraid that if I go up and kiss a guy, he will have the cops take me down.


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## brock (Jan 4, 2004)

scairy said:


> I definitely feel for you though. Although it's a ways a way being single at 30 is a big fear. At that point most women are married and are having children. This means you're probably going to end up with a divorced woman that already has children and constant issues are going to come up with the children and their father. You're essentially entering a broken family and somehow trying to fix it. I hope you find a great woman that just never got picked.


I would NEVER settle for "bad boy leftovers". Not my responsibility to bail out someone who was a bad judge of character.


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## R34 (Nov 22, 2003)

I've kissed and been kissed. 
Long time ago.


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## deist78 (Nov 12, 2003)

I'm 28 and I have never kissed or dated a girl. it maskes me very self conscious. i'm too old to start learning how to kiss.


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