# What to tell other people?



## the3rdman (Oct 15, 2011)

I was in therapy for many of my adolescent years and continue to be in early adulthood. I used to make excuses to hide the fact that I was going to therapy on a regular basis from other people. This worked fairly well while I still lived with my parents, as I didn't need to hide it from my family, not many other people came over, and I didn't hang out with the same people often or for long enough to raise too much suspicion. Over time my closest friends caught on, and whenever I started dating a girl she would become suspicious of my weekly "doctor's checkups" as we spent more time together. I didn't like it, but I had to fess up every now and then. Sometimes people took it well, encouraging me to do what I needed, most often people seemed neutral about it, and occasionally someone would ridicule me or think less of me for it. 
I went through a phase where I was pretty reclusive and didn't have to worry about this issue. Now I am making an effort to be outgoing, more so than I have been for years, and I am facing it again. My roommate has not yet commented on the fact that I have a "doctor's appointment that's no big deal, just a check-up" every week, but I'm sure he has to be wondering why that is. I feel silly using these lame excuses as a young adult, but I also still fear the stigma that comes with seeing a therapist, and why (depression and anxiety). What's a good way to deal with this? I think that I'd like to have different answers for different people. For instance, an acquaintance probably merits a different explanation than my roommate.


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## Addler (Apr 28, 2011)

Your roommate's gonna find out sooner or later--might as well tell him now before he gets suspicious. There's no telling how he'll react, but it'll save you from worrying about it any longer.


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## lupito (Oct 7, 2011)

You have a problem and you are willing to treat it. If they are really your friends they'll understand and support you.


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## sansd (Mar 22, 2006)

If I need to tell someone I have an appointment, I just say I have an appointment without specifying the reason. Most acquaintances aren't likely to ask you what it's for because it could be something personal. With your roommate, I think you should just tell him you're seeing a therapist. My first roommate was bipolar and she never tried to hide it from me.


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## BellasLullaby (Apr 27, 2011)

Why would your roomie need to know what ur doing once you step out of the door?
It really is noone's business.
If someone asks you where your going you can say anything like running errands or getting a cup of coffee, bookstore etc. Or even just that you'll be back later.


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## Xande (Jul 18, 2011)

^ Yup like said above, you can just say you have an appointment plus it's not your roommate's business to know where you're going everytime you walk out the door.


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## fleur de lis (Oct 10, 2011)

Yeah, I'm also of the veiw you don't have to explain either. You are an adult and I think the word appointment is more than enough. I also don't like to disclose it either, still quite a stigma but also I like to keep things confidential and boundaried, apart from on this site. Lol


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## FabledHero (Jun 13, 2010)

Tell the truth, I think most people will think you're courageous for admitting you have a problem so they will think more highly of you.


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## the3rdman (Oct 15, 2011)

Thanks for the advice everyone, I feel like all of these were good points and all came from logical reasoning, even though some conflicted. I've decided that my policy will be to just continue to tell people that I have an appointment unless they ask for more information. At that point they are either being socially inappropriate (if they were just an acquaintance) or they feel we are close enough to ask (like a closer friend). In the first case I would simply tell them I didn't want to share that, and if someone was close enough I would disclose fully; if they can't handle it then our relationship could not have been or have potential to be that intimate anyway since it has been a pretty big part of my life for several years.


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## Xande (Jul 18, 2011)

^ Yup, it's good that you made that decision.


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## sansd (Mar 22, 2006)

Yeah, that's how I'd handle it.


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