# Psychiatrist thinks I'm hopeless



## miss invisible (Sep 29, 2005)

He didn't actually use the word hopeless, but he said at my age (nearly 24) it's just too late in the game for me to make any significant recovery. And I can't even get a second opinion because of my health insurance. He said he looked for a therapist for me to work with, but none were willing to see me. But I kind of got the impression he didn't even think I should bother.

I think I'm more depressed after seeing him than I was before. He said I was the worst case of SA (among my other problems) he had ever seen or even heard of, in his thirty years as a doctor.

And it seemed like he could not understand that money/health insurance is really an issue for some people. He was acting like I was using the fact I have useless insurance as an excuse; and like if I really wanted to I could afford the $1200/month it would cost to see him once my eight insurance-covered visits ran out. (Which makes me wonder if my lack of finances played a role in him dismissing me so easily; I wonder if he would have tried harder if I had lots of money to spend.) I've looked into low-cost counseling, but the therapists flat out won't see me, because I'm considered too complicated of a case. 

This is probably my tenth disappointing experience with therapy in as many years. Maybe I just don't know when it's time to throw in the towel.


----------



## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

Well,maybe that therapist threw in the towel, but I don't think you should. 
:squeeze


----------



## TreeFrog (Oct 17, 2007)

I would say the opposite-that you're too young to give up! 

Of course the ******* would be full of more encouragement and positivity if you had lots of money. That just makes me really angry and want to type out a few choice words. :mum 

It sounds like you need to move on from his fatalism. Don't give up the struggle, even though it is a struggle. 
:hug


----------



## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

miss invisible said:


> He didn't actually use the word hopeless, but he said at my age (nearly 24) it's just too late in the game for me to make any significant recovery.


The guy sounds like a quack to me..."nearly 24" is hardly "too late" for anything....quite the opposite.


----------



## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

Penny said:


> miss invisible said:
> 
> 
> > He didn't actually use the word hopeless, but he said at my age (nearly 24) it's just too late in the game for me to make any significant recovery.
> ...


I agree with Penny. Don't listen to that guy!


----------



## miss invisible (Sep 29, 2005)

Thanks for the replies.

I couldn't believe it when he said 24 was too late! Sometimes it _feels_ like that, but for him to say that... Like I'm not critical enough of myself, I get a psychiatrist judging me too.

I must have the worst luck with therapists; I've contacted at least 30 different ones (literally) and they all either say: they don't have enough experience with SA to help me; or they have experience, but aren't interested in seeing me when they find out my health care situation.

It's not like I expect them to treat me for free, but for them to waste my insurance-covered visits just to tell me they think I'm hopeless makes me mad. If I could find a therapist who actually cared, in eight visits I could at least work up some sort of plan of attack. I just don't know where to look for a therapist who doesn't see me as a walking dollar sign.


----------



## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

he does not sound like a good psychiatrist at all. their job is to treat you.. and even if you can not completely recovery you can still work on it and make some improvements. telling you you're hopeless just shows that he thinks it's too much work for him and doesn't want to bother.

24 is so young! that is seriously ridiculous that he would say that. even if you're in your 40s i believe there is still hope to at least make some improvements in dealing with and treating your SA (not that i think 40s are old.. just comparing).

definitly get a new doctor or therapist.


----------



## tomcoldaba (Jul 1, 2007)

miss invisible said:


> (Which makes me wonder if my lack of finances played a role in him dismissing me so easily; I wonder if he would have tried harder if I had lots of money to spend.) I've looked into low-cost counseling, but the therapists flat out won't see me, because I'm considered too complicated of a case.


It is your finances he is talking about not your age. If you had a great health plan or a ton of money, he would treat you kindly.

Please don't give up hope. Keep looking for a new therapist who is not money driven. Btw, 24 is not old. Good Luck.


----------



## kev (Jan 28, 2005)

I hate to be repetitive but that guy really sounds like a jerk. I'm a bit curious why therapists say you are too complicated a case. I'm sure there must be low-cost therapists who can at least offer some support even if they aren't specially equipped to deal with all of your problems. It may be a matter of liability? I don't know... this post doesn't help my lack of faith in psychiatry.


----------



## miss invisible (Sep 29, 2005)

kev said:


> I hate to be repetitive but that guy really sounds like a jerk. I'm a bit curious why therapists say you are too complicated a case. I'm sure there must be low-cost therapists who can at least offer some support even if they aren't specially equipped to deal with all of your problems. It may be a matter of liability? I don't know... this post doesn't help my lack of faith in psychiatry.


I'm not really sure why so many places refused to see me. I think it might have to do with how long I've been socially anxious (15+ years). Most of the low-cost therapists had only been out of school a year or two, and had never dealt with someone with SA (a couple had never even _heard_ of it!). One even said it'd be easier to treat me if I was suicidal or violent than if I had SA. The ones who were willing to "give it a try" working with SA, just wanted me to sit around and talk about my whole life while they nodded and repeated everything I said. Which hasn't done much for me in the past.


----------



## Thunder (Nov 5, 2003)

I assume you've already tried medication? Typically that's all psychiatrists know.


----------



## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

cant be hopeless till you've tried benzos and MAOI's


----------



## ndircukm (Jan 2, 2006)

Wow... that is incredible to me! Its like those psychologists didnt even go to school! - i have a frickin MINOR in psychology and we've covered SA in plenty of courses... That is ridiculous.... I am SO SORRY that you had to go through that experience!!! Well, here's maybe some inspiration: I felt like nothing would help also... I saw this psychologist for about 6 or 7 years off and on (i'm 25 by the way and have had SA for the same time as u if not a bit longer) and towards the end i realized he just wasnt good enough... he just sat there and listened, and never had any real input that helped... He'd say things like "well, i spoze we should schedule another visit in a month - i'm curious to see how you're doing".... hmmm... 
anyway, i decided to search... my mom knows people around town, and she asked them if then knew any good psychologists... the one i called is a really really cool woman in her late 50's named Sue. She is like a hippie who doesnt realize she's a hippy... She specializes in CBT... I didnt know it at the time, though... Anyway, she is an incredibly caring person, and makes sure to see me every week... She has helped me make tremendous gains w/ my anxiety, and has just given me a greater sense of hope... she has complete confidence that i'll make a full recovery, and she has examples of other clients that CBT has worked wonders w/... 
I just wanted to let you know that there are WONDERFUL psychologists out there... Dont give up hope!! - but try to do some CBT on your own, maybe buy a set of CD's that concern it... or even your library may have some... Its a great thing for anyone - even people w/o sa - to be involved in... It works wonders! Luv Ya! Nick


----------



## miss invisible (Sep 29, 2005)

He actually said he didn't think medication would help me at this point; which was kind of surprising (but then again according to him _nothing_ will help me). He did give me a one-time dose of Klonopin, but he didn't want to bother with anything else.

I couldn't believe some therapists weren't familiar with SA. I think one thought I was making up a new disorder or something.... It's really been quite a ride trying to find a therapist. Might be easier finding a soul mate, but I'm going to keep searching. Maybe I'll get lucky one of these days. I did get books from the library, but I guess I'm the type of person that has to have someone holding my feet to the fire or else I just keep putting exercises off.


----------



## Thunder (Nov 5, 2003)

Your psychiatrist may be right in a way but he's choosing his words poorly. Something like Klonopin and/ or a beta-blocker could _help_ but they won't cure. Nothing wrong with a little help though. A good therapist could teach you some coping skills (good luck finding one). You're certainly not hopeless.


----------



## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

I'm so sorry miss invisible,

That sounds so painful with all those types of close-minded know it all MA or Phd Psychologists. They just don't know or have been grace by their own personal suffering. 

It sounds like you are trying hard to find a good authentic caring therapist. And studying it on your own too. I really like that from you.

I really wish you had someone understanding and caring to talk to and work with. I have no idea how that can come around with all of your diligent efforts. 

I'm so sorry I feel like I can't help.

Though i learned something from you, I've been wasted 4 weeks doing nothing and should try to find myself one. I haven't really been persistant after the my annoyance over my current one.

Anyway hang in there, and keep trying if that helps at all,

Hope all is well with you and best wishes,
Gerard


----------



## altrdperception (Oct 27, 2007)

What in the FU*%?! That is so incredibally unprofessional to say to a patient. That is teh quickest way to makes someone feel depressed , even suicidal. I know i would be pretty damn apathetic at that point. What do you have if you don't have hope? UGH. Listen, you just got caught up with a bad shrink and he probably didn't see himself being able to help you..may have even been intimidated by the whole prospect. It may also have to do with the fact that you are struggling to pay his mortgage  

I am 28 and i do not in the slightest feel hopeless. Why? B/c i felt hopeless for a long time and got over a lot of my SA and depression for a while and what i didn't get rid of i was able to deal with. We are not looking for cures, we are looking for ways to deal with it and make it less prominent in our lives. People like him piss me off. I just started with a new therapist and i can tell right off the bat, she isn't going to be nearly as good as the last one i had ( but she was out of network and i couldn't afford her anymore) she even said her methods she used on me were stupid. ( EMDR mixed with cognitive therapy) She doesn't like the EMDR. I just dont get a good vibe from her at all, shes old and seems just not as "with it" and i have little to no choices for therapists left. Don't give up though, im not. Man, thats insulting, i just cant get over what he said. even the way he worded it, he could have been more tactful, especially with someone who has SA! I don't think any therapists like dealing with people who have SA b/c it's a complicated issue and not cut and dry like some other mental issues. He's a moron.


----------



## mcnabj (May 21, 2005)

Wow what a jerk.I'm about to turn 31 and I feel far from hopeless. I agree that money is his only concern. Never give up. I will fight this gd thing until I can no longer breath. 24 is very young. This doctor is a moron. You have actually made great progress by eliminating him from your recovery. Good luck.


----------



## miss invisible (Sep 29, 2005)

The more I think about it, I feel like I'm lucky in a way, because what he said has made me more mad than anything else. But I think about the other people in similar situations who he might be saying the same thing to. To be told you're hopeless by someone that's supposed to come from a position of knowledge about mental health can really be devastating to someone with SA. I mean most of my life has been built around what other people say or think about me. I've been making some progress with my SA lately, but if he'd told me I was hopeless six months ago, I really would have been devastated. I probably would have just given up completely.


----------



## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Psychiatrists aren't gods. Their words are as subject to criticial analysis as anyone else's. You have the right to disagree with them.


----------



## Nutnutnut (Jun 2, 2007)

Wow your therapist said you're hopeless. Wtf 

I don't think anything is ever too late. Life's about making the most of what you got. Maybe you won't get everything, but you can make the most out of what you got still.


----------



## Tallman (Apr 24, 2007)

That is the most incredible story I have heard. They won’t allow me to say what I think of that psychiatrist on this forum. 

As a start you might want to talk with your family doctor and ask him/her for a prescription for Inderal to help you with social anxiety if it is appropriate. My nurse practitioner actually prescribes mine. I originally got it from a psychiatrist, but it is lots cheaper to get a year’s prescription from my nurse. It is also generic and one of the cheaper drugs on the market. I would check Wal Mart or one of the other places with the $4 specials to see if it is in their list of covered drugs if you don’t have insurance. Inderal is the best medicine I have found to treat the symptoms of SAD. It stops the fight or flight syndrome and lowers one’s blood pressure somewhat. If you do not have unusually low blood pressure or some other problems that Inderal would impact negatively, you should be able to take it.

Next I suggest you do research on the Internet to try to understand yourself what is going on with you. For the anxiety disorders I like socialanxietyinstitute.org where you can read in detail about social anxiety and also read a comparison of it with panic attacks. Use Google to help you find what causes the symptoms you have. If you conclude one of your main problems in social anxiety, go to a bookstore and read some of the books listed at social anxiety institute. I use Books a Million like a library and only buy when I am convinced that the book will be valuable to me. There are also some anxiety, social anxiety, and depression workbooks (depending on your problem) that give you a program of CBT to work through. This is the only thing I have seen a therapist use in my area as CBT therapy. 

Once you have a good feel yourself about your symptoms, then you can start looking for a therapist to work with. Dr. Richards at Social Anxiety Institute says that as long as one is not suffering from dementia they can still recover from SAD using CBT. Watch the movie “A Beautiful Mind” to give you an idea how powerful CBT can be. That is what the main character in the movie used, and he has a pretty serious problem. 

If you read this far, good luck.


----------



## ThomP (Dec 24, 2007)

miss invisible said:


> He didn't actually use the word hopeless, but he said at my age (nearly 24) it's just too late in the game for me to make any significant recovery.


I'm 39, and I made major strides in the last year, most of that in the beginning without even a therapist. Don't let them tell you nonsense like that, you're young, for crying out loud.


----------



## User (Mar 20, 2004)

I agree with other posters that that psychiatrist is a quack and an *******. If he talked to me that way, I would've bit his head off!

Other people have said it, but I think it's worth repeating: 24 is very young, you can overcome SA at any age, you're _not_ hopeless.

I'm really sorry that this happened to you :hug.


----------



## matt404 (Feb 8, 2006)

I would seriously question the ethics and intelligence of a psychiatrist who thinks 24 is "too old" to make any recovery from SA. Is this guy 18 or something :lol? I'm 24 and I've made greater strides towards recovery in the last year than I ever have in my entire life. You're definitely not hopeless!


----------



## watashi (Feb 6, 2008)

Heck, if nearly 24 is too old, then I'm doomed. 

Don't give up on yourself. There're no people who can't get better, but there are bad psychiatrists.


----------



## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

I think that would just drive me to prove that ******* wrong. :lol


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Hi Miss Invisible

I was seeing a therapist for a while. From the beginning I didn;t feel comfortable with her. She reminded me of a headmistress, and still did the Freudian analysis thing of sitting and staring at me. She was 'doing' Schema Therapy, exc[et she wasn't. We never did any of it. Shuh ...

Anyway, about 13 sessions in it was clear things were getting worse. I felt awful when I saw her, and relieved when I got out - but it was simply being around HER that made me feel bad - not any psychoanalytical catharsis that was going on. She made me feel I was making it up, putting it on or being a hypochondriac. Eventually she told me I was dysthymic and basically there wasn't much I could do - I would be like this for life. I dont think I have been more miserable in a long time.

Now having had a previous therapist who I made fantastic progress with (he was pure CBT and I underwent, I sh*t you not, a transformation from shut-in to very outgoing and happy in 6 months) I couldnt quite believe this woman. Was it possible that SHE HAD FAILED and rather than admit that, decided to pronounce me medically uncurable? I thought I'd test that theory and went and found another CBT therapst, this time private. Within 6 sessions I am feeling happy, bouncy, outgoing and I am seeing genuine changes in energy and my outlook on life. I love going to my sessions each week, and though they cost £70 ($140) each, they are worth every penny.

Never listen to anyone who tells you you cannot be helped. What they mean is -THEY can't help you. Good luck in looking for a new one  As I always say, I have found pure CBT (or compassion or mindfulness based CBT) to really do the business.


----------



## ImAboutToEXPLODE (Nov 20, 2007)

> but he said at my age (nearly 24) it's just too late in the game for me to make any significant recovery


Hahahah.WHat a fraud.


----------



## RubyTuesday (Aug 3, 2007)

miss invisible said:


> Thanks for the replies.
> 
> I couldn't believe it when he said 24 was too late! Sometimes it _feels_ like that, but for him to say that... Like I'm not critical enough of myself, I get a psychiatrist judging me too.
> 
> ...


Have you tried other therapies? For example, there is Mindfulness. It is no where near well known enough: I could not find a therapist who actually does it here where I live in Australia. And yet, in America for example it is already used (in combination with CBT) to treat anxiety disorders.

And in fact, from what I have read, it is believed that Mindfulness is better for people who have had a problem like anxiety or depression for longer.

I have been following my own course of Mindfulness without guidance from a therapist (and I have had no luck with them either -though yours seem downright HOPELESS themselves!).

Here is a good book, that I follow: "Beginning Mindfulness" by Andrew Weiss. It has a 10 week program of mindfulness skills to build up.
there is also this internet resource, for free: http://www.mindfulrecovery.com and there is a program of mindfulness training there also.

...Have any of your therapists heard of Mindfulness. Mine had not -at least not for the treatment of social anxiety.
This is despite the fact that countries like America, for example, are already using it for social anxiety and in fact have identified how beneficial it can be for anxiety sufferers (and some even claim that the usual method of CBT actually worsens some patient's anxieties).

In other words: therapists do NOT know everything.


----------



## sparkations (Nov 26, 2003)

Did you contact psychologists or psychiatrists? I think its better to contact psychiatrists instead because they can prescribe medication. Have you gone to the physician for any prescriptions for anxiety medication as well? 

Anyway, the guy sounds like an a.ss. Of course there's still hope.


----------



## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

The psychiatrists I saw when I was a kid practically said the same thing, that I was the worst case they had ever seen and they couldn't help. They just passed me around like a bottle of beer.

But it's *never* too late.


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

I cannot fathom any psychotherapist ever saying that over here. Now ok, Psychiatrists do not tend to do psychotherapy - they tend to be on the meds / psychosis side (with some exceptions). But of all the psychotherapists I've had the only one who said I was 'incurable' was a recent convert from fruedian psychoanalysis and worked for the National Health Service. Funnily enought the two private therapists I've had (and you tend to get the better ones working privately because they can make more money that way) have both been amazing - the most recent one being the guy that has facilitated my breakthrough - also after being declared incurable.

Keeping a belief deep down that you can overcome your troubles is of the utmost importance.


----------



## Tallman (Apr 24, 2007)

RubyTuesday said:


> Thanks for the replies.
> 
> Have you tried other therapies? For example, there is Mindfulness. It is no where near well known enough: I could not find a therapist who actually does it here where I live in Australia. And yet, in America for example it is already used (in combination with CBT) to treat anxiety disorders.
> 
> ...


Hi Ruby, I certainly agree with your last statement. "Therapists do NOT know everything" Some of them don't seem to know anything.

I am curious about the Mindfulness therapy. Do you have any references to research that shows the value of this therapy that I can access? Also you note that "some even claim that the usual method of CBT actually worsens some patient's anxieties" I can see that this could be true, but I am curious about who some is and what the "usual method of CBT" is. Do you have any clarification on this?

Sorry if I sound picky. I am an engineer and we tend to be fact and detail orientented. I am from the US and have done extensive searching on social anxiety therapy and have never found information on Mindfulness before. I would like to explore it in more detail because I do procrastinate in using CBT which Mindfullness is supposed to help. I need all the help I can get and if this can help, I would like to use it. I just would like to have validation before I invest a lot of time in it.

Thanks for your suggestions and for any further information you can provide.


----------



## miss invisible (Sep 29, 2005)

Wow, I didn't know this thread was still active! Thanks everybody for the suggestions and replies.

_sparkations_, I've pretty much run the gamut from contacting counselors, psychologists and psychiatrists. I haven't been able to get much help from any of them. I think it's probably due to them being on the lower end of the cost spectrum; it doesn't seem to give them much motivation to help. My regular doctor is 100% anti-benzo. She's prescribed me all the standard anti-depressants, and even one tricyclic anti-depressant. I never make it past the initial side effects to see if they actually work. I absolutely love Klonopin, and have taken it a couple times, but no one will prescribe me more than a one-time dose.
_
Ruby_, I hadn't heard of Mindfulness before. I assume most, if not all, of my past therapists/psychiatrists hadn't heard of it either, since most weren't even familiar with CBT. Do you have anymore firsthand information on how Mindfulness works? I checked out the website, but I'd be interested in your experiences with it.

_Tallman_, the psychiatrist I saw did recommend something like Inderal for me (as a starting point). But then determined that my blood pressure would be a problem, since it was already too low. I think that's another reason he gave up on me, since apparently he also thinks I should be able to control my low blood pressure more.

_yeah_yeah_yeah_, I've read a lot of your threads and find them very insightful and useful. I actually have the Gillian Butler book on order. The thread about mood diaries was particularly helpful. Do you have any advice on weeding through CBT therapists? Often I contact someone who claims to do CBT, and they do elements of it, but it seems the CBT field is filled with recent converts and dabblers from talk therapy. Since I'm going to end up paying out of pocket anyway, I really want someone doing pure CBT.


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Hi Miss Invisible

I just saw your post asking about weeding through CBT therapists. In the UK there is the BABCP which is a registering body of CBT practioners. I think the best source in the states would be The Beck Institute, as they originated the therapy. They would definitely be able to tell you how to find a good one.

Keep in mind there are many "3rd wave of CBT" approaches now. There is Mindfulness based, Compassion based CBT. There is Schema Therapy. It is becoming common to fuse emotions based approaches with CBT as these help the individual to add more emotional weight to new beliefs and to understand past events. This insight then feeds into the CBT itself and is really a very powerful combination. Its good for those with very buried beliefs from early childhood.

Start with the Beck Institute and tell them what you are after. Then I would suggest going to meet a therapist or two, or talk over the phone and see if you like their manner. If you are too anxious to try this, then try sending an email to a Beck recommended one and say in the mail that you find it terrifying to talk on the phone. A therapist worth the money you pay them will find a way to make it easier for you. This person is going to end up basically being a really good buddy so thats how you need to interview them - as someone you can trust, open up to and listen to. Its a partnership - not a one-up one-down set up. For my therapists I have paid between £60-70 per session. My current one is super cool and the sessions can often expand over to nearly two hours. He loves his job!

PM me if you like - especially as us engineers should stick together! :lol


----------



## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

I took a look at that Beck Institute "Find a Therapist" tool. Here it is for everyone else: http://www.academyofct.org/FolderID/1137/SessionID/{593FCD6F-1D05-4C07-96F3-4770C3F4A81D}/PageVars/Library/CertifiedMembers/Index.htm

(Copy and paste, since whole link it's included in hyperlink for some reason.)

Anyone that comes up is a certified cognitive therapist.

I found a guy who is less than 10 miles away from me. It's so expensive though ($140 for initial visit, and $120 for subsequent visits of 50 minutes). I personally can't afford to start something that would potentially go on for months. My insurance would still have me pay $20 plus 20% of the cost per visit, and only AFTER I paid the first $300 out of pocket. In addition, they have a limit of how many sessions are covered (pretty significant number though, like 30). It's kind of funny to even have insurance when you can't really afford to take advantage of it.

The guy seems ridiculously well qualified though... Too bad I don't make a couple thousand more $$$ in salary to pay for it.

James Pretzer, Ph.D.
Secretary/Treasurer, Behavioral Health Associates, Inc.
Director, Cleveland Center for Cognitive Therapy.
Ph.D., Michigan State University, 1981.
Post-doctoral Fellowship, University of Pennsylvania, 1982
Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychology, Dept.of Psychiatry, Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine.
Founding Fellow, Academy of Cognitive Therapy.
Co-author: Clinical Applications of Cognitive Therapy (Plenum Press, 1990, 2004), Cognitive Therapy of Personality Disorders (Guilford Publications, 1990, 2004).
Active in teaching, locally, nationally and internationally.
Specialties include: mood and anxiety disorders, personality disorders, marital problems, behavioral medicine.


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Here's some cost / benefit maths, based on my own life for all the peeps reading this...

Amount of money spent on therapy in total *£2900 ($5800)* over 1.5 years (I hasten to add that I terminated my own first round of therapy before actually getting better so relapsed myself, otherwise it would have been more like a year)

Amount of money lost due entirely due to the effects of depression and anxiety by the time I was 30 (directly quantifiable): *£11,500 ($23,000).*

Thats pure finance. I am not factoring in lost relationships, years spent in pain and anger and lost opportunities.

Ross

PS When I had less money I had one session every 2-3 weeks to spread the cost and used the books in the interim.


----------



## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

I'd have to get a loan to pay for that sort of thing. :lol


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

2 sessions a month = $240
Thats $60 a week. 

Is there anything you can give up to afford it? Switch to pay as you go? Cancel that subscription to that dodgy site? Buy less ketchup? I'm not meaning to harangue you (well if I am its in a friendly way oke) but if you really felt you needed it, it is possible to do. They even give away free coffee 

I'm just trying to make a general point to folks that even though therapy is expensive, its your life, happiness, and possibly a LOT MORE money than the therapy cost that leaving depression and anxiety untreated can cost.

Or did you mean paying for 'depression'? Heh. Yeah thats a big number that I try to forget ...


----------



## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Well, I'm pretty cheap as it is. I don't subscribe to any TV service, I have no phone line, I pack my lunches at work to save money, I very rarely eat out, I stopped going to bars months ago, etc. Our insurance is getting costlier, and I'm not getting a raise. I'm not sure if I can squeeze out another $240 per month out. I had a tire nightmare a few weeks ago, forcing me to get two new tires... and now I have this court issue and fines for the questionable speeding ticket I got. I hate driving, since it these sort of things seem to happen a lot. I've reduced driving as an activity for exclusively groceries/work as much as possible now. Luckily my dad helped me pay for gas the last time I visited my parents house (this past weekend).

I suppose I could start selling excess silverware on E-Bay or maybe take up a weekend job of some sort. I'm not sure when I would have time for sessions though if I worked Saturdays as well.

Hmm... that's another thing... I work from 8:45-5:15 Mon-Fri (with occasional overtime), so I'll have to schedule appointments on weekends or evenings. I hope that isn't an unreasonable expectation for these docs. I don't really have a lot of liberty in regards to taking a lot of time off. I need to get all sorts of signatures from people and fill out papers each time. It would be so much easier if they could be scheduled in the evenings/weekends. That's something I'd have to just ask them about. In any case, I'd have to look at the $60-70 tier instead of these $120-140 docs.

I know myself well enough that I feel really inert when it comes to seeing a professional. I almost wish that more and more negative sh*t would happen to me to push me beyond the "annoyance" level such that a decision would be easy. This "in-between" state of indecision is pretty poopy. Hmm... that's would seriously be a blessing in disguise... Hear me, world!! Screw me over!! Bring it on!! :lol


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

i think I have just been told off  :cry


----------



## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Not by me, right?

Don't worry, I'll just prostitute my sextapulous body on Sundays if I get desperate. I'm sure I'll raise loads of money! 60 women at $2 each per week should cover the costs.


----------



## Not So Nervous Nelly (Feb 24, 2007)

Wow How encouraging! He either incompetent or has poor communication skills.He should have said. I am sorry but I can't do anything for you and refer you somewhere else. I bet you he is unfamiliar with SA.


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

ardrum said:


> Not by me, right?.


Ohh ... maybe ..s'ok I wasn't upset really. *snif* <wipes tear> :blank

<Notices snickers bar in backpack> .....


----------



## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> ardrum said:
> 
> 
> > Not by me, right?.
> ...


Snickers solves everything.

Sorry if I said something upsetting. I was just kind of thinking "out loud." ops

I did email a CB therapist though (the one whose description I have here: viewtopic.php?f=47&t=77255&p=869036 ).


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

I know, I was being silly. Now come here, pookums *snuggles*


----------



## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

:lol


----------



## tomcoldaba (Jul 1, 2007)

yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> I know, I was being silly. Now come here, pookums *snuggles*


Guys, go get a room. Dont make out on this thread. :lol


----------



## tomcoldaba (Jul 1, 2007)

ardrum said:


> Don't worry, I'll just prostitute my sextapulous body on Sundays if I get desperate. I'm sure I'll raise loads of money! 60 women at $2 each per week should cover the costs.


If you can get 60 women every sunday. Talk about flooding. :lol

No need for a psychiatrist. 60 women will drive you insane. :lol


----------



## Tallman (Apr 24, 2007)

tomcoldaba said:


> ardrum said:
> 
> 
> > Don't worry, I'll just prostitute my sextapulous body on Sundays if I get desperate. I'm sure I'll raise loads of money! 60 women at $2 each per week should cover the costs.
> ...


One of the best things for social anxiety is distraction. I would think 60 women would make him forget everything. Also sex releases endorphins. This may cause an overdose!! Please do not drive or operate heavy equipment after 60 women until you find out how you react to them.

Miss Invisible, you sure started an interesting thread. :yes


----------



## miss invisible (Sep 29, 2005)

I love what this thread has become! It made me smile when I read it. :lol


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

I think its your avatar that caused it Missy I !


----------



## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

I sympathize. You're not hopeless. Maybe finding another therapist would be helpful.


----------



## RubyTuesday (Aug 3, 2007)

Tallman said:


> RubyTuesday said:
> 
> 
> > Thanks for the replies.
> ...


...sorry dude: this is the first time I've been back to this thread.

-you asked about some expert opinions about CBT actually provoking anxiety, whilst mindfulness helps -well, I found this opinion whilst doing a search on mindfulness (possibly it was a Times article)

I do know that some good basic information can be found if you look up the site...

http://www.mindfulness.net.au/

A great book is: "Buddhism: Plain and Simple" by Steve Hagen.
For the practical side of mindfulness, I recommend: "Beginning Mindfulness" by Andrew Weiss.


----------



## RubyTuesday (Aug 3, 2007)

miss invisible said:


> Wow, I didn't know this thread was still active! Thanks everybody for the suggestions and replies.
> 
> _sparkations_, I've pretty much run the gamut from contacting counselors, psychologists and psychiatrists. I haven't been able to get much help from any of them. I think it's probably due to them being on the lower end of the cost spectrum; it doesn't seem to give them much motivation to help. My regular doctor is 100% anti-benzo. She's prescribed me all the standard anti-depressants, and even one tricyclic anti-depressant. I never make it past the initial side effects to see if they actually work. I absolutely love Klonopin, and have taken it a couple times, but no one will prescribe me more than a one-time dose.
> _
> ...


Hi, I just replied to Tallman's query about info on Mindfulness.

The only other extra resources that I could recommend would be internet ones, including....

http://www.mindfulrecovery.org

and:-

http://www.budsas.org.au

(look for: "Mindfulness in Plain English" by Gunaratana Mahathera.)

-Oh, and did I mention Steve Hagen's "Buddhism: Plain and Simple" -which if you want an explanation of why you should/would benefit from doing mindfulness, well this is a really easy to read and great book on explaining why.


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

I integrated mindfulness into my CBT practice at the suggestion of my CBT therapist and it helps hugely. Mindfulness practices are advocated and included in the current CBT for SA model developed by Clark and Wells (Cambridge University). There is very little separateness between the two schools of thought.

If you can find a therapist who has read a book or been on the internet since 1987, you will find that they may well be aware of the huge integrationism that has been sweeping the practice of CBT since 1999. 'Doing CBT' isnt the same as 'doing it right' - there is currently no quality control in psychotherapy. Inform yourself. Check your sources, trial a therapist out. Use everything you can to get at those deeply buried beliefs and past experiences.

A good therapist will have a toolbox of multiple approaches at his or her command. The philosophy of CBT is "if one thing doesn't work, try something else". Constant adaptivity. IMO it is the Jeet Kune Do of the therapy world, integrating all the bits of what works into one overall art.


----------



## smiles (Nov 13, 2006)

love your new sig-photo Ross.


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

thanks - im making a whole raft of them :lol Some more offensive than others ...


----------

