# Envy, Jealousy, Competition ruining my life?



## dman93 (Aug 25, 2014)

me and my cousin are both 20. The oldest of our generation. I am average height, nice slim body, but not-so-cute-face which is why I always had a hard time with the ladies. Plus, my natural shyness/quietness never helped. My cousin on the other hand gets girls left & right with little/no effort at all. In fact, girls come CHASE HIM...why? Because he is too damn good looking. Tall, muscular, blonde hair, blue eyes..as close to perfect as it gets. "Model-esque". There is not a single woman on the planet that would reject him. He is every young girl's dream. Even older woman in their 30s and 40s want a young guy like him.

I guess I always wanted that kind of female attention. And the fact that I KNOW I never will get it (because im below average) makes me envious of him. Im obviously jealous of his good looks cause I will never be half of that. He gets complimented 24/7, not that I NEED compliments, but knowing he gets complimented & I don't only proves to me that im not handsome. He's affecting me a lot. I don't see him as often as I used to thankfully, but I do see him on a consistent basis. 

Everytime I see a cute girl, instead of asking myself "do I stand a chance?" or "should I approach?"...I ask myself "would she be more interested in my cousin" Yes. "would she easily sleep with him" yes.

I just wish I can forget about him. Anybody go through anything similar?


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## ilovejehovah777 (Apr 16, 2013)

I understand how you feel I feel the same way towards my sister but it's not really about looks it's more so about intelligence and I envy the attention she gets from my parents.


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## dman93 (Aug 25, 2014)

ilovejehovah777 said:


> I understand how you feel I feel the same way towards my sister but it's not really about looks it's more so about intelligence and I envy the attention she gets from my parents.


:/


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## 682 (Aug 19, 2014)

It's about confidence. 

You can't expect someone else to appreciate you when you yourself don't (and truthfully I don't know if it's that or if it's respect or love). 

And I know a person would be inclined to say "oh not this confidence bs again," but yes, in the end that's all it is. 

I'll tell you what, attractive people are in my opinion people with a purpose. People that don't give a flying f about what the world may of think of them. People that do as they please when they please. People that don't let themselves be brought down by petty quarrels and stupidity. People that are in the end their own person. 

And by the way, do you know that in the looks department it is purely 80% appearances? And by that I mean body language. Read on that mate and become enlightened. You'd be amazed how many people you can fool with body language alone.


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## HotColdBeverage (Aug 25, 2014)

In the past I was always comparing myself to my bubbly, tall, gorgeous loving sister who everyone likes but I've come to understand that I am pretty freakin awesome. And your are too, you just haven't realized it yet.
Stop putting your cousin on a pedestal, he may look and act perfect but believe me every person has flaws. 
You think image is everything? IT is not!!!
Confidence is! And I've learned to acknowledge that I pretty in my own unique way. Im not super confident but I sit in front of my mirror and I say "You are gorgeous," in my mind of course. 
And I focus on what makes me unique. I'm already my own brand of weird but I like that I'm weird: My hair can be a big curly afro and I wear it down like its in fashion. And I paint really well. I may not be socially or sporty talented but I am a artist who doesn't live to be no one but me. And I'm pretty damn smart.
There are tons of guys like your cousin out there and there are tons of guys like you out there. Its all about perception. You may think that your lame but some girl out there is looking for a guy like you. Comparing is a loosing game and I have a feeling you want to win. Trying winning at being you. No one can do it better.


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## dman93 (Aug 25, 2014)

HotColdBeverage said:


> In the past I was always comparing myself to my bubbly, tall, gorgeous loving sister who everyone likes but I've come to understand that I am pretty freakin awesome. And your are too, you just haven't realized it yet.
> Stop putting your cousin on a pedestal, he may look and act perfect but believe me every person has flaws.
> You think image is everything? IT is not!!!
> Confidence is! And I've learned to acknowledge that I pretty in my own unique way. Im not super confident but I sit in front of my mirror and I say "You are gorgeous," in my mind of course.
> ...


Thank you for your comment. Inspirational words.
But you say "win at being you"...theres the problem! I don't even know who I am. I dont have talents or passions in life. Comparing myself to my cousin 24/7 is REALLY putting me down.


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