# Are most women moody?



## hollowman32 (Oct 19, 2013)

Now before you start accusing me of being a sexist prick, please keep in mind that I do not have much relationship experience with the opposite sex outside of my family and depictions of femininity from the mass media. 

With that in mind, are most women moody? I'm asking this because my dealings with my female coworker have been a real mixed bag. The past few weeks there are times where we could have spent a whole day talking to each other and then there are times where it seems like she wants nothing to do with me, but then I see her laughing it up with other people. I don't get it. 

I asked my therapist about this and he says that women tend to be moody. It really bothers me when it seems like I'm on her "bad" side because it really messes with my head. My highs are high, but my lows get really low if that makes sense. I just want some consistency in how a person acts so I know what to expect.


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## Salvador Dali (Oct 26, 2013)

In my experience, yes (but of course it depends on the woman). My mother often gets pissed off for no apparent reason, and she's been like this for the whole 19 years living with her. I don't have a lot of experience with other womenz if I'm honest, but I've definitely come across my fair share of moody women, and women with random mood swings.

I'm guilty as well, I can be a real b*** at times if I want to be left alone and someone keeps pestering me after I've already told them several times that I want to be alone. It's usually my problem, not theirs. I enjoy my alone time when I'm feeling miserable, which is most of the time.
I can also be pissy if someone tries to discuss something that I don't want to talk about. Other than that, I'm mostly calm/neutral unless I'm having a particularly s****y day.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Yes.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Aw, yeah. Another let's generalize about women thread. About time, we were missing one for an entire 3 minutes. ( I guess I'm just being moody though. :blank)


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

I don't have much contact with women or people for that matter but I find this to be true. Also I see similar behavour in lots of guys as well. Maybe it's just because it's me. They don't seem to do this to other people I observe.


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## ThisGirl15 (Mar 1, 2014)

I can't say for other women but I'm personally very emotionless and quiet. I get called 'Ice Queen' by people.

I've actually known some very moody and unpredictable guys.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

maybe it's a hormonal thing.


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## ThisGirl15 (Mar 1, 2014)

jimity said:


> maybe it's a hormonal thing.


I think it's more just personality and upbringing.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

With the exception of me, the men I've met have on average been moodier than the women. At least after I got out of the general mess that was high school. 

I imagine other people's experiences will differ.

I think men and women are about as moody as each other on average, it's just different moods they're experiencing frequently, typically.


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## caelle (Sep 9, 2008)

That's doesn't really sound like a "moody" thing. If it was, she probably wouldn't want to talk to anyone at all, not just you. 
Are you into this girl? Do you think she likes you?

Maybe she's playing hard to get. Or she just wants to talk with other people sometimes.


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## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

It seems men are more emotionally stable. Here's a study underneath. This particular study has faced criticism, though - I presume it's worth mentioning it.



> A new study confirms that men's minds come from Mars and women's from Venus. In an article recently published in the online journal PLoS ONE, Italian cognitive psychologist Marco Del Giudice and his collaborators compared the personality traits of men and women in a sample of over 10,000 people and found huge differences. *Women scored much higher than in men in Sensitivity, Warmth, and Apprehension, *while *men scored higher than women in Emotional Stability, Dominance, Rule-Consciousness, and Vigilance.*


http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...-in-personality-are-larger-previously-thought

Here's another worldwide study, stating women score higher in neuroticism (which does compute moodiness, insecurity, among other things).



> The results of one study has found that on average, women score moderately higher than men on neuroticism. This study examined sex differences in the 'Big Five' personality traits across 55 nations. It found that across the 55 nations studied, the most pronounced difference was in neuroticism.


David P. Schmitt; Realo, A; Voracek, M., & Allik, J. (2008). "Why can't a man be more like a woman? Sex differences in big five personality traits across 55 cultures.". _Journal of Personality and Social Psychology_


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## hollowman32 (Oct 19, 2013)

diamondheart89 said:


> Aw, yeah. Another let's generalize about women thread. About time, we were missing one for an entire 3 minutes. ( I guess I'm just being moody though. :blank)


ffs, did you just read the thread title and that's it? I'm just trying to find out what other people's experiences have been so I can make more informed decisions.



nomi said:


> That's doesn't really sound like a "moody" thing. If it was, she probably wouldn't want to talk to anyone at all, not just you.
> Are you into this girl? Do you think she likes you?
> 
> Maybe she's playing hard to get. Or she just wants to talk with other people sometimes.


So if it's not a "moody" thing then what exactly is it? Unfortunately, yes, I am kinda into her even though she has a bf. I'm not trying to mess up her relationship with him, but I thought we could become good friends. I mean, men and women can be friends right?

I don't know how much she likes me, but a few months ago she asked for my number. We haven't done anything outside of work, and other then seeing each other at a retirement party where I met a girl friend of hers, nothing's happened. I'm still trying to figure out why she asked me for my number.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

Your therapist was just saying that to spare your feelings. If she's typically cold with you and warm with others, she probably just doesn't enjoy talking to you. Nothing to do with her being an emotional and moody person, she just doesn't feel an acquaintanceship with you. No big deal.

And women aren't moody imo, not more than men at least. It's conditioning, humans typically feel a wide range of emotions throughout their life, but women are taught that they are emotional and more likely to be emotional so they feel more comfort in expressing emotions. Men are raised to believe their hearts are separate from their heads, and don't feel the same comfort in expressing their feelings if those feelings aren't the socially acceptable ones for men to feel (happiness, anger, amorous---unlike feeling ugly, mopey, sad, irritable, like women are told it's okay to feel, though we get labeled as moody and harpies if we do express that). My dad was moody and naggy, my grandfather's a ****in' nut emotionally, and my limited experience with guys has taught me they can be extremely moody, not because they're guys but because people feel emotions. Conversely, the girlfriends I've had have just been fun and hilarious and chill, not a roller coaster of emotions.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Mr Bacon said:


> It seems men are more emotionally stable. Here's a study underneath. This particular study has faced criticism, though - I presume it's worth mentioning it.
> 
> http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...-in-personality-are-larger-previously-thought
> 
> ...


Their measure of "emotional stability" is being "reactive versus emotionally stable". Research has long since suggested that men and women express emotions differently. Men tend to clam up and distance themselves while women prefer to talk or express their emotions. You can hardly say that means one sex is less emotionally stable simple because they talk about feelings rather than bottle them up.

Here's an interesting read.

Apparently as infants, boys cry more and act out more, while girls do less of that. They think parental reaction to that impacts how boys and girls express their emotions later. Because girls get less reactions from parents as babies they learn to become more expressive, while boys who easily get parental attention due to being more expressive, they slowly learn to tone that down. Not to mention fitting in with gender roles later.

I agree with this part : _From an evolutionary perspective, large differences in personality between the sexes make perfect sense. Divergent sexual selection pressures on men and women are expected to produce substantial differences in personality traits that influence mating and reproductive strategies_

It's basically saying people shape their behavior to fit in with societal expectations and their environment.


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## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

diamondheart89 said:


> Their measure of "emotional stability" is being "reactive versus emotionally stable". Research has long since suggested that men and women express emotions differently. Men tend to clam up and distance themselves while women prefer to talk or express their emotions. You can hardly say that means one sex is less emotionally stable simple because they talk about feelings rather than bottle them up.


It's hard to draw conclusions when we don't know the exact methodology they used. "Reactive vs emotionally stable" is somewhat of a vague description.



> Here's an interesting read.
> 
> Apparently as infants, boys cry more and act out more, while girls do less of that. They think parental reaction to that impacts how boys and girls express their emotions later. Because girls get less reactions from parents as babies they learn to become more expressive, while boys who easily get parental attention due to being more expressive, they slowly learn to tone that down. Not to mention fitting in with gender roles later.


Intriguing. The whole 'nature vs nurture' question. It's true that societal standards are being enforced on us, and it affects our behavior. It might very well influence some research on women vs men.



> I agree with this part : _From an evolutionary perspective, large differences in personality between the sexes make perfect sense. Divergent sexual selection pressures on men and women are expected to produce substantial differences in personality traits that influence mating and reproductive strategies_
> 
> *It's basically saying people shape their behavior to fit in with societal expectations and their environment.*


That's not what it said at all. It says that those who are "unfit" are being weeded out via sexual selection, but it says nothing about societal expectations influencing people's behaviors.


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## changeme77 (Feb 22, 2013)

I'd say humans are moody in general.



hollowman32 said:


> ffs, did you just read the thread title and that's it? I'm just trying to find out what other people's experiences have been so I can make more informed decisions.
> 
> So if it's not a "moody" thing then what exactly is it? Unfortunately, yes, I am kinda into her even though she has a bf. I'm not trying to mess up her relationship with him, but I thought we could become good friends. I mean, men and women can be friends right?
> 
> I don't know how much she likes me, but a few months ago she asked for my number. We haven't done anything outside of work, and other then seeing each other at a retirement party where I met a girl friend of hers, nothing's happened. I'm still trying to figure out why she asked me for my number.


Sounds like you answered your own question. You want to be friends because you want something more, no?


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## hollowman32 (Oct 19, 2013)

changeme77 said:


> Sounds like you answered your own question. You want to be friends because you want something more, no?


That's a different topic for another time.

Maybe it's because I haven't had what could be considered a friend for a long time, but if you're a friend you're supposed to be somewhat supportive and friendly right?

Why are there times where she's happy to see me and then there are times where it's like I don't exist? I guess that's the more pertinent question.


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## brooke_brigham (Nov 28, 2013)

nomi said:


> That's doesn't really sound like a "moody" thing. If it was, she probably wouldn't want to talk to anyone at all, not just you.
> Are you into this girl? Do you think she likes you?
> 
> Maybe she's playing hard to get. Or she just wants to talk with other people sometimes.


This. Its not a question of being moody. I'm very moody but it doesnt affect how I treat people at work. You must be doing something to trigger her bad behavior towards you if she's being nice to other people.


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## dark (May 10, 2010)

No. We're all different and that includes people with the same parts.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Mr Bacon said:


> It's hard to draw conclusions when we don't know the exact methodology they used. "Reactive vs emotionally stable" is somewhat of a vague description.
> 
> Intriguing. The whole 'nature vs nurture' question. It's true that societal standards are being enforced on us, and it affects our behavior. It might very well influence some research on women vs men.
> 
> *That's not what it said at all. It says that those who are "unfit" are being weeded out via sexual selection, but it says nothing about societal expectations influencing people's behaviors.*


Yes, that's what I meant as well, either you try to fit in or you're unsuccessful at it and therefore socially less accepted making your chances of reproducing lower.

Anyway, it seems to be a pretty shoddy way of defining emotional stability. In addition, it doesn't translate into actions all the time. For example the source I listed states that women often talk about their feelings but don't necessarily act on them, whereas men are much more likely to act on their emotions - especially anger.

In the end, these are all generalizations and can't really be translated onto one specific person. OP can't assume the girl is being moody, maybe she just doesn't like him or something. Or she's stressed out. Or thousands of other possibilities. Usually the answer to these situations isn't ___ person is ignoring me because all ____s are ____. It's specific circumstance.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

I've definitely seen that with all the women I know.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Women are easier to get along with in my opinion. Less anger control issues and more patience than men.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

^ Yeah my male bosses had anger issues. They'd literally scream at people and act out unprofessionally, like throwing things or even smacking people's hands away from whatever they were holding.

The women bosses were less likely to act out like that, they'd usually just gossip about you with their favorite employee.


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

Many women like to play head games as some sort of social gamesmanship it seems. Guys tend to be more blunt and unaware.


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## BeachGaBulldog (Feb 13, 2007)

Most of the women I dated growing up were moody. It was their time of the month or whatever, but I just know that they could get downright nasty.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

BeachGaBulldog said:


> but I just know that they could get downright nasty.


Women can get real nasty. Just knock one back and you can see how nasty they can get. I had one woman laugh at me at the top of her lungs in a mocking way for dropping something I was holding because I didn't want to go out with her.


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