# Would you ever be in a relationship with someone who wasnt a citizen of your country?



## Banzai (Jun 4, 2009)

*Would you ever be in a relationship with someone who was on a work/student etc visa?*

*Would you ever be in a relationship with someone who was on a work/student etc visa?

*Would you?

If you were a british citizen and you worked in an EU country for 10 years then that's another set of circumstances altogether.

Edit: Apologies - this thread has been badly/hastily constructed.  I forgot to add a "Depends which country they were from" option too [and other better options]. Would you be any more hesistant to date someone who was from say, India compared to say, America?


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## Lachlan (Jul 3, 2008)

to answer the title of the thread: yes. 
as to the poll: Other reason: I liked the person


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## Charizard (Feb 16, 2011)

I'm a person who's not a citizen of my country. I live in the US, and have for basically my entire life, but I'm a citizen of Canada and considered a "permanent resident alien".

Though I know that status is a little outside of what you were asking, so I'm just gonna say: yes. I would date someone who is here on a student/work visa. If it were a really great relationship, I would ask them to stay with me when their visa is going to expire.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

Yes, because I'd have no rational control over my heart's choice since that's not its nature.


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

odd_one_out said:


> Yes, because I'd have no rational control over my heart's choice since that's not its nature.


^

I can't really vote though since I wouldn't have those specific conditions you listed beside Yes.


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## CabecitaSilenciosa (Jun 8, 2010)

odd_one_out said:


> Yes, because I'd have no rational control over my heart's choice since that's not its nature.


Yes.


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## Jade18 (Mar 6, 2011)

yes, and i aleady have
not a fan of dutch men anyway:no


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## Duke of Prunes (Jul 20, 2009)

Only if they aren't from one of those seedy countries that illegal immigrants usually originate from. I'd have no issue with somebody from an EU country, Aus/NZ, USA/Canada, Japan etc.


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## melissa75 (Feb 16, 2010)

Yes


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## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

I am now. Just waiting to see where it goes.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I would be in a relationship with any person I like regardless of their citizenship if we got on well. Of course there would be some heavy decisions to make once the visa times came up though & I didn't vote for that very reason because circumstance would dictate how we proceeded at that point


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## emptybottle2 (Jan 18, 2009)

Duke of Prunes said:


> Only if they aren't from one of those seedy countries that illegal immigrants usually originate from. I'd have no issue with somebody from an EU country, Aus/NZ, USA/Canada, Japan etc.


just come out and say brown people are gross


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

Yes, as long as I could see them regularly. I don't think I could manage a long-distance relationship.

Anyway, I'm sort of against the whole idea of citizenship, but that's another story.


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## Duke of Prunes (Jul 20, 2009)

emptybottle2 said:


> just come out and say brown people are gross


That's from your imagination, I didn't mention race at all. That tells us more about you than about me.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

yes


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Now, I know what some of you might be thinking about what Millenniumman75 would say about this issue.

Well, SURPRISE.

Yes, I would date a girl who has a green card provided that she becomes a citizen before the first child is born - preferably at marriage, though.

My father was NOT a US citizen at the time he married my mother. He and his parents had a green card and was here legally and all for just over 20 years at that time. At the insistence of my mother, he applied for citizenship as I was preparing for my big entrance (six months before I was born, by the way). He was not a citizen until three months after I was born. I have the documents that he left behind when he passed away.
If my mother had said no, I would not have been born - thank you very much.


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

Yes.


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

Are you trying to play "spot the xenophobe" or something?

Because I'm guessing those would be only people who wouldn't vote yes.


No offence xenophobes, wait actually go flip yourselves!:yes


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## anonymid (Oct 16, 2005)

Where's the option for "Yes--they're obviously trying to take advantage of my citizenship, but I'll take what I can get"? :lol


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

Ape in space said:


> Anyway, I'm sort of against the whole idea of citizenship, but that's another story.


Me too. Nationality just seems a reason for division like race/ethnicity. The latter is seen as something bad while the former isn't.

But then, I'm just one of them brown people out to erase national borders so I can steal your local job! Or get on your welfare programme.


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## daniel1989 (Feb 14, 2011)

Are they good in bed? lol


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## atticusfinch (Dec 18, 2010)

haha, this is a silly question- of course I would. why not? we are all human...


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## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)

If I was single, sure why not. But I have a boyfriend who is a citizen of my country so I don't have to worry about that! He does, however, live in a different state... but that's ok. It's only a 30 minute drive.


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## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)

atticusfinch said:


> haha, this is a silly question- of course I would. why not? we are all human...


I think OP was thinking in terms of... why date someone who you know will be leaving in X amount of time, maybe?


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## straightarrows (Jun 18, 2010)

not sure but

this is not strange or new in this country,, but it also has a price,,, in case of divorce= the kids will pay .....

for example :as far as I know late 60's,70's and some 80's a lot of studens returne back with American or British wife.. (my aunt her son wife=British!after 3 years they divorced, was in 76 or 77)

this kind of love sometimes end like this= _*She took the kids and Runaway!! He took the kids and runaway!! Courts! Jail!! We read these stories a lot here!! *_


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

Yes..


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## FadeToOne (Jan 27, 2011)

hah well good that most people are voting yes, cause I'm in that position. I want to stay in the US, but it ain't the easiest thing to achieve legally.

Unless...someone wants to marry me? I'll teach you a language you'll probably never hear or have to use in your life in return.


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## straightarrows (Jun 18, 2010)

anonymid said:


> Where's the option for "Yes--they're obviously trying to take advantage of my citizenship, but I'll take what I can get"? :lol


there is a woman who married an american soldier, they never stay in the us!! they were living in Italy and Japan!! and she has 7 kids! lolol and became a protestant (what a shame!!!!!:b


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

The women I'm attracted to are almost exclusively Canadian or American (of all races). It's rare to find foreigners that are really open-minded to people of other nationalities, but it's possible that I might fall in love with a foreigner, provided they're sufficiently Americanized/Canadianized and don't bring their prejudices and pre-feminist values along with them.



straightarrows said:


> there is a woman who married an american soldier, they never stay in the us!! they were living in Italy and Japan!! and she has 7 kids! lolol and became a protestant (what a shame!!!!!:b


What is wrong with Protestants? Not all of them are bible-thumping fundamentalists. Or are you Catholic?


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

vicente said:


> The women I'm attracted to are almost exclusively Canadian or American (of all races). It's rare to find foreigners that are really open-minded to people of other nationalities


Sounds like it is spoken like a truly close minded person.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

matty said:


> Sounds like it is spoken like a truly close minded person.


In fact in Canada, I wouldn't date or want to deal with a lot of Canadian citizens, because the Canadian government hands out citizenship like candy. Most new Canadian "citizens" these days don't even attempt to learn how to speak English. FOBs ought to integrate or go back home. You disagree? Go to Richmond, try applying for a job at a Chinese store or chatting up some of the locals and see how well the Chinese "Canadians" take kindly to non-Chinese people (esp. if you have Japanese, Indian, or Filipino parents).


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

^Approximately how long should it take a recent immigrant to learn fluent english and interact with Canadian-born people without any miscommunication that can easily occur as a result of the different social norms in regards to non-verbal and verbal communication? Have you asked those "FOBs" (it's been a while since I've heard that one, I didn't know people over age 15 use it to be honest) how hard they are trying to learn english? (I'm assuming you would have done a decent-sized survey to know for certain that they are making NO attempt to learn english.)

It's not such a bad idea for people to occasionally examine their own privilege and prejudices, maybe you should try it sometime.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

nothing to fear said:


> ^Approximately how long should it take a recent immigrant to learn fluent english and interact with Canadian-born people without any miscommunication that can easily occur as a result of the different social norms in regards to non-verbal and verbal communication?


Anywhere from five years to never. Some immigrants and new "Canadians" never bother talking to people who aren't from their country unless it's for work-related reasons.



> Have you asked those "FOBs" (it's been a while since I've heard that one, I didn't know people over age 15 use it to be honest) how hard they are trying to learn english? (I'm assuming you would have done a decent-sized survey to know for certain that they are making NO attempt to learn english.)


If they are never seen with people not from their country and are never seen speaking English, it's a fair assumption to say that they're not trying hard enough.



> It's not such a bad idea for people to occasionally examine their own privilege and prejudices, maybe you should try it sometime.


I've lived in foreign countries before (I'm living in one now), including one where I did not speak the language (France). I wasn't going out on a limb trying to meet other Canadians to avoid talking with the scary locals. So I'm pretty sure I've tried it.

I really don't have sympathy for people like my immigrant parents who are super racist but can get away with it because they're immigrants and never talk to people from outside of their country. In Canada, racism and discrimination is okay, as long as it's not native Canadians doing it.

I have nothing wrong with immigrants and new Canadians who, although their English isn't perfect, try to make friends with people of all nationalities and are open-minded to experiencing and even adopting 
the cultural practices of everyone around them, even if they are unfamiliar. I would be open to dating these people, but unfortunately, these immigrants are few and far between.


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## Banzai (Jun 4, 2009)

I am a little with Vincente on this one - ethnic segregation is almost inevitable when you have immigration. However, _completely _look down on how you've said this:


> FOBs ought to integrate or go back home.


How exactly do you get people to integrate? You make it sound so simple but it's not.

There was an interesting discussion here - what to do about multicultural societies has been pretty hot on the political agenda recently in Britain. Joinmartin posted an interesting response I think:



> joinmartin said:
> 
> 
> > Learn English. Yes, why can't you learn English. Chances are, in order to make English, we stole words and phrases from your language and made those phrases and words into English. But why can't you learn English?
> ...


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## Duke of Prunes (Jul 20, 2009)

Moving to a country where almost everybody speaks English and not even having the intention of learning it is just plain stupid. End of. If I moved to another country, I'd make a real effort to become as fluent as possible in that language first.


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

vicente said:


> Anywhere from five years to never. Some immigrants and new "Canadians" never bother talking to people who aren't from their country unless it's for work-related reasons.
> 
> If they are never seen with people not from their country and are never seen speaking English, it's a fair assumption to say that they're not trying hard enough.
> 
> ...


Allright.. Perhaps we've just had pretty different experiences here. What you describe to me seems to be mostly relevant to those who immigrate here as seniors, I don't see it all that much in other age groups.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

Nah I wouldn't, well it would have to be if one of us actually lived in the others country already. I don't mind being internet friends with someone of another country, but I have no interest in trying to make things work with someone who can't get citizenship here or vice versa. I'm in no position in life to feel I can move out of my own country and be with someone else.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

vicente said:


> In fact in Canada, I wouldn't date or want to deal with a lot of Canadian citizens, because the Canadian government hands out citizenship like candy. Most new Canadian "citizens" these days don't even attempt to learn how to speak English. FOBs ought to integrate or go back home. You disagree? Go to Richmond, try applying for a job at a Chinese store or chatting up some of the locals and see how well the Chinese "Canadians" take kindly to non-Chinese people (esp. if you have Japanese, Indian, or Filipino parents).


I dont disagree, we have the same problem in Australia. Seems like a very sweeping statement though.

I work with a lot of different people, where English is their second language. At least they are trying, working and living in an english speaking country. I know there are pockets of people which will never try to learn english. But that is a percentage.


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## straightarrows (Jun 18, 2010)

vicente said:


> Anywhere from five years to never. Some immigrants and new "Canadians" never bother talking to people who aren't from their country unless it's for work-related reasons.
> 
> If they are never seen with people not from their country and are never seen speaking English, it's a fair assumption to say that they're not trying hard enough.


 that is something normal!!! in any country a lot of foreigners r isolated (not all) a lot of them have their own schools, shops,etc ,,incl Canadians!:b


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## straightarrows (Jun 18, 2010)

vicente said:


> Originally Posted by *anonymid*
> _Where's the option for "Yes--they're obviously trying to take advantage of my citizenship, but I'll take what I can get"? :lol_
> 
> What is wrong with Protestants? Not all of them are bible-thumping fundamentalists. Or are you Catholic?


what I mean it that not every woman marriage an american is because she wants benefits!!!


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

I live in a country in which something like 1000 or so languages are spoken. I know five. In an average day, I use at least 3 different languages. I speak to each member of my immediate family in a different language. In an average day, I hear at least 4-5 different languages spoken around me. And I don't get my knickers in a knot when someone speaks a language I don't understand around me.

So, I really find this "OMGZ!! 2% OF OUR IMMIGRANTZ CAN'T SPEEK ENGLISH!!!!11" thing a bit strange. But, your country, your rules. Carry on.


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## Arisa1536 (Dec 8, 2009)

why does it have to be about america? *SIGH* there are other countries lol, i know *shock horror* 
Nationality does not matter to me so i chose yes mainly because i am dating someone who is not from new zealand nor do i want to be with someone from the same country as me,how boring:b but it works for some so thats good :yes


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## WTFnooooo (Mar 27, 2010)

I don't support _Statism_, so the answer is YES.


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## Brightpaperwarewolf (Oct 16, 2008)

heroin said:


> I live in a country in which something like 1000 or so languages are spoken. I know five. In an average day, I use at least 3 different languages. I speak to each member of my immediate family in a different language. In an average day, I hear at least 4-5 different languages spoken around me. And I don't get my knickers in a knot when someone speaks a language I don't understand around me.
> 
> So, I really find this "OMGZ!! 2% OF OUR IMMIGRANTZ CAN'T SPEEK ENGLISH!!!!11" thing a bit strange. But, your country, your rules. Carry on.


It's not like that everywhere in America. I live in a diverse area where the population is compromised of like 200+ nationalities, they are plenty of people who are able to retain their cultures and values freely and there are no issues. Everyone lives in peace and prosperity, showing appreciation for diversity. It's just there a lot of ******** who are simply racist who don't want to live with others in peace, only their own kind. Those areas where they live are ironically the most economically depressed.


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## straightarrows (Jun 18, 2010)

heroin said:


> I live in a country in which something like 1000 or so languages are spoken. I know five. In an average day, I use at least 3 different languages. I speak to each member of my immediate family in a different language. In an average day, I hear at least 4-5 different languages spoken around me. And I don't get my knickers in a knot when someone speaks a language I don't understand around me.
> 
> So, I really find this "OMGZ!! 2% OF OUR IMMIGRANTZ CAN'T SPEEK ENGLISH!!!!11" thing a bit strange. But, your country, your rules. Carry on.


ur people have their own schools and shops,dont MIX with others a lot of them refuse to speake our language!! ur people in any part in the world r isolated!!! even in Africa! not open to others!


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

Brightpaperwarewolf said:


> It's not like that everywhere in America. I live in a diverse area where the population is compromised of like 200+ nationalities, they are plenty of people who are able to retain their cultures and values freely and there are no issues. Everyone lives in peace and prosperity, showing appreciation for diversity. *It's just there a lot of ******** who are simply racist who don't want to live with others in peace, only their own kind.* Those areas where they live are ironically the most economically depressed.


Perhaps you missed the now-infamous video of Alexandra Wallace, (ex-)UCLA student. She was born and raised in Fair Oaks, California (a supposedly ultra-liberal and ultra-multicultural state), and by no stretch of the imagination is she a *******. She'd lived a remarkably sheltered life, though, and I wouldn't be surprised if there are plenty others who think just like her - their rants just never went viral and attracted as much attention as hers did, and they would never have to reevaluate her position on the issue as she had.

heroin: What country do you live in, if you don't mind me asking?


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## Brightpaperwarewolf (Oct 16, 2008)

rednosereindeer said:


> Perhaps you missed the now-infamous video of Alexandra Wallace, (ex-)UCLA student. She was born and raised in Fair Oaks, California (a supposedly ultra-liberal and multicultural state), and by no stretch of the imagination is she a *******. She'd lived a remarkably sheltered life, though, and I wouldn't be surprised if there are plenty others who think just like her - their rants just never went viral and attracted as much attention as hers did, and they would never have to reevaluate her position on the issue as she had.
> 
> heroin: What country do you live in, if you don't mind me asking?


There plenty of parts in California that are ultra-conservative, Sierras, Central Valley, plenty of ******** to go around. There the cities in California and then there is the country side. Two different worlds.


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## heyJude (Aug 1, 2009)

Ape in space said:


> Yes, as long as I could see them regularly. I don't think I could manage a long-distance relationship.


This.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Sure.

Doesn't seem like any Americans want to be in a relationship with me, so perhaps I shouldn't reject otherwise suitable non-US citizens.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

****Thread Lock Watch****
Two warnings have been issued up to this point for problems that seem go outside the scope of this thread. Please keep it on topic.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

rednosereindeer said:


> heroin: What country do you live in, if you don't mind me asking?


Indistan.


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## Justsimplyme (Feb 3, 2011)

IM not even a citizen of my country, so yes.


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## ImmortalxApathy (Feb 19, 2011)

Yes, But as long as they weren't from the middle east, africa, or asia. Sorry if I sound like a prick.


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## jijiji (Feb 5, 2011)

yes. wtf kind of question is this


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## Banzai (Jun 4, 2009)

jijiji said:


> yes. wtf kind of question is this


Well, there's the distance thing you gotta figure out once their visa finishes. Who's gonna move with the other person? Would you really continue with a long distance relationship? Then there's the more extreme side of thinking - "what if this person just wants my citizenship?"

If it's two people from two very different parts of the world then you have to consider the cultural side of things too...including the family side of things too (who are probably going to be less assimilated in regards with the older generation).


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

I am actually in the early stages of something like this. And good god, has it caused me so much stress. Not because of the distance, but because of who I am. But, not like I got anything else to do so I'll keep at it. 

I don't know if these sorts of relationships work out. It must be terribly difficult to get them to. Each person has their life in their own country and either one moving means pretty much starting over for them.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

Banzai said:


> *Would you ever be in a relationship with someone who was on a work/student etc visa?
> 
> *Would you?


 No. I didn't vote in the poll because the no in the poll isn't the reason. I just wouldn't do it because I'm not really interested in relationships that much and even if I was, I'd rather date someone from my area.


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