# would you date someone that can't have kids?



## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

?


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

What do you mean can't? I don't want kids, so that would be for the best but I don't know if I would trust someone's word that they are infertile.


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## Nogy (Feb 13, 2011)

I'd prefer it


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## GuyMontag (Dec 12, 2010)

Sure, I don't want kids.


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## successful (Mar 21, 2009)

Hell yeah. I prefer it that way.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Unfortunately, no. I want kids.


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## KelsKels (Oct 4, 2011)

Yeah thatd be awesome. I dont want kids at all. Theyre not worth ruining my figure and ripping my vagina open. Ick.


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## Winds (Apr 17, 2011)

Yep, don't really want any myself.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Oooo, just saw your post in the other thread. Congrats on the vasectomy!!


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## stewie (Feb 11, 2011)

I hate kids,don't want kids....so YES


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## MrGilligan (Apr 29, 2012)

If I liked them I would. We could always adopt... (but I don't want to date anyone or have any kids, so it doesn't really apply to me...)


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## UgShy (Mar 6, 2012)

Sure would. If we ever decided that we wanted any, we could adopt.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

komorikun said:


> Oooo, just saw your post in the other thread. Congrats on the vasectomy!!


haha thanks  glad i finally got it done.


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## Toppington (Oct 26, 2011)

If I was 100% sure they were infertile? Absolute heaven when it came down to sex for hopefully obvious reasons. I'd like to have a kid or two someday, but I'd live without. Ohh... What a dream! :teeth


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

Toppington said:


> If I was 100% sure they were infertile? Absolute heaven when it came down to sex for hopefully obvious reasons. I'd like to have a kid or two someday, but I'd live without. Ohh... What a dream! :teeth


what if you were 99.9% sure?


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## Bunyip (Feb 6, 2012)

Yes, I would. Especially since I don't care to have children, and it would take a lot of lovvin' to convince me to want them. But even if I did want kids, I would still date someone who couldn't have them. I'd rather go without someone who doesn't even exist than leave someone who already does, if that makes sense~


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## Jinxx (May 10, 2011)

Yes. I already am & I don't mind it cause neither one of us want kids anyways.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

Absolutely. It's more than likely I won't be having kids because of my instability with my mental problems and I am on a lot of meds already. It is almost impossible for me to function normally if I'm off of them. When it comes to pregnancy, obviously you can't be on those pills.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Probably not. I want kids.


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## Fruitcake (Jan 19, 2012)

andy1984 said:


> what if you were 99.9% sure?


99.9% is more sure than you can be that condoms will work, so it's not really irresponsible to have unprotected sex if that's how sure you can be. Vasectomies aren't guaranteed to make you infertile either.


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## squidlette (Jan 9, 2012)

I think that would work out just fine for me. I don't think I'll ever have any - and if I do, I'd prefer to adopt anyway. Too much crazy in my genes that I would rather not pass on, too many kids in foster care. I really don't see myself ever being comfortable enough with my financial situation to even consider that, though, and so being with someone who's incapable of breeding (or more specifically, has decided that they absolutely do not want children) would take that question right off the table anyway.


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

Even if I wanted kids I probably would, we could adopt or do that IVF thing.
Either way I don't see myself having kids, so it doesn't matter.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

Fruitcake said:


> 99.9% is more sure than you can be that condoms will work, so it's not really irresponsible to have unprotected sex if that's how sure you can be. Vasectomies aren't guaranteed to make you infertile either.


yeah, 1 in 1000 vasectomies are short term failures which will be picked up within a month by semen test and 1 in 10,000 long term failures. its the long term ones that happen like 10 years later and you're suddenly fertile again. its incredibly unlikely though.


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## AnxiousA (Oct 31, 2011)

Depends on the situation. I wouldn't not date someone because of infertility, but I might not date someone who doesn't want kids, or who has had a vasectomy, just because our lives would be heading in completely different ways.


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## Luka92 (Dec 13, 2011)

Sure I would.


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## Secretaz (Sep 10, 2011)

Yes. I don't even want to have kids.


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## Toppington (Oct 26, 2011)

andy1984 said:


> what if you were 99.9% sure?


Sure. I'd just treat them as if they were still fertile to be on the safe side. I'd date a rock at this point, buddy. :b


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

Yea that would be cool...since I don't want kids and all.


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## Doriis (Jan 8, 2012)

Adoption! 
Now if he's not okay with adoption that's a problem.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Is it really easy to adopt kids? I thought it was super expensive and many people have to go to China or Russia to get a kid.


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

I already have a daughter and that's enough for me, so yeah.


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## squidlette (Jan 9, 2012)

komorikun said:


> Is it really easy to adopt kids? I thought it was super expensive and many people have to go to China or Russia to get a kid.


No, it's not terribly easy to adopt. Unless you do fost-adopt, where they place foster kids with you that are unlikely to go back to their birth families. The goal is that you end up being the permanent home and adopt them eventually. Of course, that can take years, and there's always the sliver of a chance that the birth family will get their act together, which can be pretty heartbreaking if you're set on adoption. If you go the fost-adopt route, the state generally pays for all of the child's living expenses and legal fees, whereas traditional adoption does cost a fortune. I've sort of looked into it in the past, and I'm fairly sure I'd do the fost-adopt route if I ever hit that magical place of financial stability AND decide I want kids. And if I could convince them that I'm mentally stable enough, too, of course. I'm not sure if the state I live in now is alright with single women with a psych history being on the fost/adopt list at all, really, so it might just be another moot point.

If breeders had to go through as much hassle as foster/adoptive parents did, there would be a lot more secure homes out there raising kids, that's for sure.


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## Doriis (Jan 8, 2012)

Yeah like squidlette says it's really hard to " win " an adoption case. Aspiring adopters have to go through the whole adoption process which consists in medical reports, referrals, tons of paperwork, the whole home study / social investigation, document evidences of income, etc. 

I would personally like to adopt later on in my life but am totally aware of the difficulty of the process.


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

Yeah, I would. I'm not set on having kids at any point in my life, so infertility doesnt matter.


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## 58318 (Jul 15, 2011)

Yes I'm a man.


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## FireIsTheCleanser (Aug 16, 2011)

I don't really have a choice now do I?


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## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

Nogy said:


> I'd prefer it


.


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## Bbpuff (Sep 1, 2010)

If I love them, of course.


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## rosecolored (May 13, 2012)

Yes. But thts probably because I dnt want kids anyway.


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## northstar1991 (Oct 4, 2011)

Yes I would. If we decided to have kids we could adopt.


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## low (Sep 27, 2009)

Nogy said:


> I'd prefer it


Saves on contraception I guess.

Sometimes I really want children and to pass on my genes, it's kind of like nothing is really important in life. I'm not very spiritual or anything, having a child is special.

Then other times I think how the hell can anyone in their right mind bring kids into this crap hole?

Slightly conflicted.


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## Tentative (Dec 27, 2011)

If I really love the person it does not make much of a difference whether we can have kids or not. I am on the fence when it comes to having kids anyway. So, I voted yes.


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## AnxiousA (Oct 31, 2011)

JustThisGuy said:


> ^ That. Surprised to see so many on the adoption side. Thought I was one of the few that thought that way.


I think most like the idea of adoption. I'd love to adopt, however I know I wouldn't be accepted, and with the horrendous issues and lack of support that often accompanies adopted kids, I don't know if I could do it.

Very few babies are adopted here, there are usually big attempts to keep babies with birth families, meaning most adopted kids are older, traumatised and with behavioural issues. It is hard (or impossible) to get respite or support if you have a child who finds it hard to overcome the trauma.

Here, being overweight, smoking or history of mental health problems means you'll unlikely be able to adopt. In some areas of the country, things like choosing to home educate are a barrier too!


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## NatureFellow (Jun 14, 2011)

KelsKels said:


> ripping my vagina open. Ick.


Well that's just the most graphic description ever. :no
I thought chilbirth was beautiful.

You ruined my perfect world.:um
Thanks for understanding.
Best regards,


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## AnxiousA (Oct 31, 2011)

NatureFellow said:


> Well that's just the most graphic description ever. :no
> I thought chilbirth was beautiful.
> 
> You ruined my perfect world.:um
> ...


In almost all cases, if not interfered with, birth_ is_ beautiful and doesn't involve ripping of privates or lasting damage.


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## Brad (Dec 27, 2011)

Well i'm gay... so..


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## KelsKels (Oct 4, 2011)

NatureFellow said:


> Well that's just the most graphic description ever. :no
> I thought chilbirth was beautiful.
> 
> You ruined my perfect world.:um
> ...


Hahah sorry. :b



AnxiousA said:


> In almost all cases, if not interfered with, birth_ is_ beautiful and doesn't involve ripping of privates or lasting damage.


Yeah youre right, usually doctors will just cut you open instead of letting your vagina tear when the head squeezes through. Then they sew you up after the baby delivered and the placenta and afterbirth squish on out. Well unless your vagina is extra stretchy.



> *Are Episiotomies Necessary?
> * Though many doctors with hundreds of births under their belts would say "Yes", many others are quick to disagree. The purpose of an episiotomy is to provide room for the baby to pass out of the vagina, without causing the woman's vagina to tear.
> 
> The benefits to an episiotomy are said to be:
> ...


http://voices.yahoo.com/labor-delivery-tearing-vs-cutting-244532.html?cat=52


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## Who (Jul 29, 2010)

Yea why not. Pregnancy scares me and I don't really like kids anyway. Even if we decide we want a kid we could adopt.


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## Dreamscape (Sep 18, 2010)

I don't really plan to have kids, so I would be fine with it. I would be more open to the idea of adoption at some point if I was with someone who really wanted a kid.


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## AnxiousA (Oct 31, 2011)

KelsKels said:


> Hahah sorry. :b
> 
> Yeah youre right, usually doctors will just cut you open instead of letting your vagina tear when the head squeezes through. Then they sew you up after the baby delivered and the placenta and afterbirth squish on out. Well unless your vagina is extra stretchy.
> 
> http://voices.yahoo.com/labor-delivery-tearing-vs-cutting-244532.html?cat=52


That is why you shouldn't trust your birth to a Doctor ;-)

Women generally grow babies they are able to birth. Intervention (induction, fetal montioring, forceps, timescales, ventouse, drips, beds etc) all complicate matters and make tearing or cutting more likely. If women are trusted with birth (and have skilled midwives) they aren't that likely to tear or need an episiotomy. Most women are coached how to push, when this is premature and can cause problems. There are ways to increase your chances of a normal birth (without tearing or cutting).

Where you birth and who supports you makes a huge difference. Rates of episiotomy in the UK are about 14% and in the US they are about 50%. They are a symptom of over-medicalised deliveries. Having a homebirth can decrease the rate of tearing by over 50%.


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## regimes (Aug 24, 2011)

i don't mind. there's adoption and sperm donors.


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## MoniqueS (Feb 21, 2011)

Absolutely! I do not want kids.


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## Meli24R (Dec 9, 2008)

I'd prefer it actually since I never want children


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

Yes because I can't have anymore either


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

Yes, because kids suck.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

An infertile female would be ideal. No risk of "oops, I forgot to take the pill, honey & I'm pregnant" to induce the ultimate panic attack.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

KelsKels said:


> Yeah thatd be awesome. I dont want kids at all. Theyre not worth ruining my figure and *ripping my vagina open.* Ick.


Seems most women are filled with so many hormones that it makes them want kids so much that they can manage to forget that nasty part.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

I probably wouldn't. Not unless they were diagnosed with problems years down the line, in which case we both would have had the same goal up until that point anyway.


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## Toppington (Oct 26, 2011)

NatureFellow said:


> Thanks for understanding.
> Best regards,


I'll never get sick of this or the voice I read it in.


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## Voyager (Jan 15, 2012)

Toppington said:


> I'll never get sick of this or the voice I read it in.


In this voice? http://www.ivona.com/en/?tk=cINY00ZkIB

....
http://www.ivona.com/en/?tk=cINY00ZkIB


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## Toppington (Oct 26, 2011)

Voyager said:


> In this voice? http://www.ivona.com/en/?tk=cINY00ZkIB
> 
> ....


I had to crack up at the French ones. But uh... No. Not quite. :b


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## Define Me (Jan 2, 2012)

If she were hawt, sjureeeeeee.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

Yes, I would. That would actually be great. I'm never having kids, so if I knew with absolute certainty that the woman was completely biologically incapable of conceiving, I'd love it.


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## Puppet Master (Jan 1, 2012)

Yup I have no desire to have kids ever hell I wish for my families name to die off.


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## Queen of Spades (Mar 17, 2012)

Yep!


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## Awkto Awktavious (May 11, 2011)

Yes. Don't want kids


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## LordScott (Apr 9, 2012)

Sure, more sex for me


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## Mirror (Mar 16, 2012)

I would date them, if I/we want kids in the future and my significant other is sterile, then we can just talk about doing artificial insemination. It would still suck though


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