# How did you find your current therapist?



## Xande (Jul 18, 2011)

Just wondering how everyone here found their current therapist/psychologist. 

The therapists I had in the past were usually referred to me by someone. Stuff happened and now I have been out of therapy for the last couple of years.

I recently decided to try out therapy again, most likely will try CBT, so I asked my psychiatrist for a referral and was given one, but I'm not sure if I should go to that one or instead look one up on google or somewhere else. 

I found a site where they rate therapists/psychologists, but hardly anyone has a rating and no comments were left for the ones I looked up. 

So my questions to everyone are: How did you find your current therapist? 
and did you care if they were actually a psychologist or would a social worker have been fine too? Basically, where there any factors in your decision.


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

I went through my insurance company's list of providers and googled each name. Anyone without a website, I didn't consider. It's important for me to see a picture and read their treatment approach. I also looked at Psychology Today's list of therapists. I wanted a psychologist because they have more education. I have my first appointment next week - eek! 

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/


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## Xande (Jul 18, 2011)

NoSocialButterfly said:


> Well, the first therapist I went to I was referred to by my GP. She ended up being lousy, fell asleep during our appointments, but she sent me to my first psychiatrist. It was him who I then ask to refer me to another therapist, which he did. That is my current therapist and he is amazing! I've been with him almost a year and I have made a ton of progress with him.


Is your current therapist a psychologist or social worker? lol I'm not even sure if this really matters or not.

Just that the past two therapists I had were social workers and I didn't find them too helpful, just wondering if a psychologist would be more beneficial or maybe it's just the type of therapy approach that's important.


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## Xande (Jul 18, 2011)

Double Indemnity said:


> I went through my insurance company's list of providers and googled each name. Anyone without a website, I didn't consider. It's important for me to see a picture and read their treatment approach. I also looked at Psychology Today's list of therapists. I wanted a psychologist because they have more education. I have my first appointment next week - eek!
> 
> http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/


Good luck with your appointment, let us know how it goes. Lol yeah I like reading their treatment approach too.

Oh and thanks for that link!


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## lynnb (May 10, 2011)

I called all the nearby therapists on my insurance plan. I also have a visual field defect, so I can't drive. That makes it a little challenging. I needed someone relatively close to work or home that I could walk or otherwise easily get to.

I contacted one therapist and he seemed really nice, but he asked if I might prefer a female therapist. I said "yes, but there don't seem to be any on my plan." Anyway, he gave me a name and number to reach someone who was in his building. He didn't really know much about her, but thought we might click. So, I called her office manager and she gave me her email address. So, I emailed her with what was going on with me and asking if she took my insurance,e since that is obviously a big deal. I was seeing another therapist (who I did not like much.... she seemed to just oversimplify things into "fake it until you make it"...such BS). Anyway, didn't really get back in touch with her, but then, I thought she seemed cool and maybe shed' be a better fit. The same day I was going to contact her, she contacted me to see if I had found a therapist. 

Even though she's not on my insurance plan, we were able to work out some pricing where I am out of network, but it's not as painful, financially, as it could be. She's an actual psychologist and really smart. The other one was a social worker and really annoying. I didn't really trust that she could really "get" me. My current one seems to understand me, which is kind of nice.


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## Xande (Jul 18, 2011)

^ That's cool how everything worked out. Just wondering, but are you doing a certain type of psychotherapy, like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? And if so, how do you find it.


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## velocicaur (Aug 8, 2009)

Finding the correct therapist has to be one of the biggest hurdles in dealing with social anxiety.

There is hardly any network set up. Every therapist claims they can deal with anxiety, depression, etc., and sure, they do know something about it, but probably not to the extent that they should to help someone with extreme SA. So you fumble around for a few months meeting regularly, and shelling out $100/hr until you get discouraged and quit.

Imo, psychologists as a whole need to get more organized. It's such a crap shoot, and with all the technology available, it should be easy to set something up. However, it's dog eat dog, and while they do have your interests in mind, they really want to fill up their schedule.

/rant off.

Random question: Has anyone visited a therapist and been turned away because they felt they were not the correct person for you to see? I'm going to go with no, but perhaps one with extremely high ethics exists.


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## lynnb (May 10, 2011)

Xande said:


> ^ That's cool how everything worked out. Just wondering, but are you doing a certain type of psychotherapy, like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? And if so, how do you find it.


She does a combination of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy. I got REALLY lucky. I had a really hard time finding a therapist. I was on a wait list for one place that took my insurance and went to this other older lady (mid-50s) who I totally didn't click with. You know how some people in their 50s are have a total aversion to technology? That was this woman. I really didn't care for her, but I felt so DESPERATE for someone to help me.

I found my current therapist through someone who was on my plan. He referred me to her. She is awesome and she worked out an out-of-network payment schedule with me that has it not bee too much worse than in-network. I was just really lucky. Given how lucky I was, I feel like, even when things get bad and I hate therapy and all the homework she has me do, things are going to be okay, because she somehow landed in my path. She's funny, smart, and young. I trust her too (and I don't trust many people). She has a Phd in neuropschology, and does some of that and also is really just building her private practice. I think I got lucky in that she has relatively recently gotten her phd.

...And, as to whether my therapist would not see me if she thought she couldn't help me, I think the answer, for her, is solidly "yes". If I didn't participate and contribute, she'd tell me that I am wasting my time and money. (Sometimes that annoys me, because I feel compelled to do all my homework, as much as I hate it sometimes!).


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## Cisco (Mar 2, 2007)

velocicaur said:


> Every therapist claims they can deal with anxiety, depression, etc., and sure, they do know something about it, but probably not to the extent that they should to help someone with extreme SA.


That's been my experience, too. They think they can do everything. It reminds me of my experiences trying to find an attorney with experience in commercial real estate. It was almost impossible to get a recommendation from another attorney, because every wills and estates attorney thinks he can do commercial real estate because he bought a house once. Their reaction is always "I can do that."

Same thing with therapists. They don't know how much they don't know. The more things a therapist lists as their specialties, the more I want to run the other direction. I had one admit to me after months that she really didn't know what to do.

Psychologists really have a long way to go in getting on par with providers of physical medicine. My general physician doesn't operate this way. If needed, he refers out to a specialist, or at minimum consults with someone with the needed background to guide his treatment decisions.

Actually, that makes me wonder - why is it when I've needed a referral to a medical specialist and I've been sent to a practice affiliated with the hospital/health system they've all been great, and it's just the affiliated psychology practice where I can't find somebody who has a clue?

OK, I'll stop ranting now.


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## Xande (Jul 18, 2011)

Ugh I'm having a lot of trouble finding a therapist who does evening appointments who has a good amount of experience. I can't really get out of work early or get in late once a week. 

Also heard I should be looking for a psychologist/social worker who has atleast 10 years of practice, but most of the ones I find who do evening appointments only have like 3 years of experience.


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## velocicaur (Aug 8, 2009)

The older therapists have built up a solid reputation and can fill their appointments 9-5.

New therapists have to build up their patient base. Now if you can land a good one, great, but you won't know until how many weeks into it.

I'd definitely try to get with an established therapist.


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## beagleman (May 27, 2011)

I found my currnet therapist(clinical psychologist) excellent at cbt and I pushed myself my hard to face many of my isues. I guess i improved alot but it got to a stage my major depression so severe I had no relief with medication. In desperation yesterday I said to my psychologist(Keira) please help me, I must know no where I am at no matter how hard or sad, I need to do something to help me as I could not stand the crying and absolute sadness all the time.

Keira went on to explain to me a process of help to improve mood. Firstly i had to recognise that you cannot just block bad thoughts and say to yourself I feel great and you will feel better, this does not work. Then she asked me to write a list of negative thoughts that define my life. My major thought was about being nothing, no relationships, no friends, no independence, not good enough etc. Keira said I must put a title to my thoughts and I( said, the life of no-one story.

Now i told keira what some of the things that would cause me instant distress and sadness. The list as follows:seeing happy people, seeing young couples or any couples, seeing families, scenes on tv, wedding rings, womens underwear, many others all about what I dont get in life. No intimacy, no holding hands, cuddling, it makes me sad to write this and I would say most sad sufferers would feel the same way. Now Keira said when I feel this distress when out or whenever I must not avoid it and mearly let it sit and think to myself mmm-'the life of no one story' Thankyou mind. I have just started this treatment and I have to say it is very hard and sad to let these thoughts sit especially if you have major depression as well as sad.


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## Xande (Jul 18, 2011)

^ Yeah I don't know if I'd be able to let those thoughts sit, that would destroy me. 

Of course I would not be able to do nothing but obsess about those thoughts if I wasn't on a SSRI. Don't even want to remember those days. Even though I'm having somewhat of a down day today, it isn't close to anything how it was back then.


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## Xande (Jul 18, 2011)

So found a new therapist (psychologist) who actually has evening appointments available. He seems pretty nice, but his eyes did light up when I said I took adderall for add, hopefully this isn't a bad sign lol.

The whole floor where his office is on is pretty empty though, lol I thought it was abandoned. Well anyways, I'll see how it goes.


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