# Got a massage



## Onkaparinga (Aug 1, 2010)

I heard of a place locally that offers cheap massages (they are done by students) so I decided to take the plunge. I had the idea of getting one as I've had virtually no physical contact with another human being since the age of 12 (no hugs, etc) and am a bit hypersensitive to being touched, and can get sad if in close proximity to a person for a long period (eg. going to the hairdressers).

I was going to cancel it because my skin's not in the best condition, I recently stopped squeezing zits in some kind of OCD behaviour that began when I was 13, but still have a problem with a recurring stress-related (?) rash that's been hanging around since I was 18. But things didn't seem too bad this morning so I gave myself the green light. Also due to taking a number of small steps in improving my eating habits I've lost enough weight to not feel overly flabby (was around 78kg, currently around 67kg).

I wasn't too freaked out before going there, I still meditated in the car for a while which I've been doing lately before things I'm not sure about (eg. support group, counselling session, bowling).
The masseuse seemed nice, I had booked myself in for something called a "swedish massage". I explained that it was my first massage and that I was trying it to help with anxiety and to desensetise myself to the human touch (not sure if that was relevant or not). She mentioned massaging my front (I mentioned some strained muscles) but I said I was too self-conscious for that at this point.
The massage room itself was a bedroom-sized windowless room with a massage bed, a single halogen lamp pointed at the wall and some soothing music playing in the background. The walls had open space at the top so there was a loud conversation about marathon training spilling through from an adjoining room.
I had to take my clothes off except for my underpants while she left the room for a few minutes, and climb onto the table under a towel.

Some kind of oil is used in the massage, it could be water based as it didn't leave a lot of residue. The massage itself was surprisingly not a problem at all, the only real issues I had were worrying about breathing audibly and getting caught up in the conversation from next door rather than concentrating on the massage. Some guy who announced that he was the masseuse's lecturer wandered in and sat down, thankfully he was only there for a minute or so.

The time went by real quick and I wanted it to keep going. As someone with low self-esteem it was a nice reassurance that someone was willing to touch me.

After getting out of there I was in quite a good mood and felt more normal than I had in a long time. I think I might be able to understand why "normal" people who are in a physical relationship look so relaxed and self-assured.
It was definitely A$25 bucks well spent and I might see if I can do it once a month or something. It's definitely made me feel more human.
The effects unfortunately wear off though (been 4 hours but I still feel good). I wonder if subsequent massages will be as good, or if it's a kind of "first rush".

I definitely recommend a massage to anyone who's game to try one, you won't regret it (as long as you go in there with the intent to have a good experience).


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

Darling that sounds really nice - And well done for going with it.

I'd imagine if you kept it up the feeling after words would last longer as you'd be getting more comfortable and more used to it. 

I went to have one done about two years ago and would really like to get it done again as with my work I really need to look after my back and would be really good for the muscles. But I am really and I mean extremely ticklish and I hate the skin on my back!


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## Black_Widow (May 23, 2008)

Good on you Onkaparinga! That's something I know I definitely wouldn't have found easy. I've personally never been for a massage in my life. Just the idea in turn makes me feel very self conscious, because of the fact it'd be a stranger touching me and I've got a few hang ups body image wise. Still after reading your account, I might just give it a go sometime. Sounds like a worthwhile kind of thing to treat yourself to!

Well done and congrats!


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