# How do I find a help in a small town?



## CoreyX (May 19, 2011)

So, I'm trying to find a doctor or psychologist or whatever that I can talk to about my social anxiety. I've always wanted to seek professional help but never really knew what actions to take to make it happen. I now currently have free health insurance so nothing is really stopping me from contacting a doctor to help me, but I'm not entirely sure how to make it happen. The huge problem is that I live in a small town, and obviously feel really insecure about seeking help. I would hate if I knew someone at the psychologists, I would feel really embarrassed, I don't really know why.

Another huge problem is that I live with my parents and they're dead-set against any sort of pharmaceutical. They're strong Christians and are pro-weed, anti-alcohol and everything else. So I know if I got any drugs they would be completely against it. They were never convinced that I even have a problem which is frustrating, and the reason my social anxiety, and selective mutism have always been my personal issue to try figuring out without any therapy or help whatsoever. I even have moderate tourette's which I've never gotten a diagnosis for. That was in part because of the terrible pediatricians in my area, and generally terrible family physicians who cater to the overwhelming majority of seniors that live in the area. They definitely saw that I had tourette's, and I got a brain scan when I was like 9, but they never responded with the results and my parents never followed-up on it to actually get me help. In fact no matter how prominent and noticeable, my parents completely ignored my symptoms from that point forward.

I went to the a family physician with my mom when I was like 16, after having talked to her about my tourette's for the first time. She explained to the doctor my tics, but the doctor was an arrogant douche, and simply brushed it off, "you'd know if he had tourette's, hah" he said. Neither me or my mother are assertive in any way, so this never went anywhere.

I have that doubt that probably a lot of us have, like we don't have enough of a problem to seek help. This is exacerbated by all the jackass doctors I've experienced in my life. But I have no friends and plenty of physical/psychological symptoms that plague me every day. Earlier this year I went to a doctor for a cold one time and she asked me why my heart rate is so high, but I just tried to act like I didn't know why like I always do. I really wish I had told her it's because I have massive amounts of social anxiety, but didn't.

Ultimately, I need a psychologist right? Like a family physician wouldn't be able to help me at all would they? Who's the people that are prescribing the benzos and the adderall? Because honestly that's all I feel I can gain from this, but it's an option that I genuinely want to try. I think I want to maybe try Klenopin. I know there aren't any support groups in the area, so there's no opportunity for CBT.

Honestly when it comes to drugs, I could probably text my weed guy and get Adderall or Xanax. But I'm very sketched out by doing that for the sole reason that I'm afraid it would be something else.

I just need to put myself out there, like drive around town and do things in public, maybe look for jobs and stuff. But any time I drive anywhere I have a clear goal, like, get burritos, cheez-its, packing tape, and Pepsi. I get those things and go home. I enjoy driving around and stuff, but I want to be able to do it without feeling that self-awareness and anxiety. I'd like to drive around drunk, but that's obviously never gonna happen. I just feel like I'll never be able to get out there with all the physical symptoms I have to deal with, and the fact that I don't even feel happy or in a mindset where I could actually talk in public for the sake of talking to someone.

But anyway, what did you guys do when you were seeking professional help? I want steps. Like, step 1, google "psychologists [insert town]", step 2, call [insert psychologist] office and step 3, say "I want to set up an appointment for my social anxiety"? Is that the scary reality of what I have to do to get these drugs I want? I'm so hesitant to do that, because most of the psychologists in the area have really unflattering bios, like "I offer a Christian/Biblical perspective to the counseling process for those who may desire a more spiritual/faith based approach." Ugh. Would someone like that even give me a drug, or tell me to pray and wait for **** to magically happen?

Has anyone ever initiated an appointment via email? I'd really like to send an email explaining myself, and set up an appointment. But doctors always seem really busy raking in cash to even think about responding to emails. I also am concerned about my parents finding out about it, and I'd prefer to just do all of this secretively. Even when I'm taking a prescription, because I know I'll be faced with a lot of opposition for it. I'm just looking for stories anyone may have of actually initiating getting help, how it went, and any advice anyone can offer for my situation.

Thank you


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