# Getting attached to people too quick.....



## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

Does anyone else do that? :afr 
It's like as soon as I meet somebody I like I start worrying they're gonna stop talking to me and stuff. :um Or they'll begin to hate me and think I'm boring cause I don't talk 
God, it sucks being me. I would literally kill to be somebody else...anybody else. Anybody outgoing who talked all the time, who didn't have all this anxiety ****.









But if 99.9% of the people I met didn't treat me like **** then I wouldn't have to worry about things like that. :mum :afr :sigh


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## Augustinus (Mar 17, 2007)

Little Miss Scare-All said:


> Does anyone else do that? :afr
> It's like as soon as I meet somebody I like I start worrying they're gonna stop talking to me and stuff. :um Or they'll begin to hate me and think I'm boring cause I don't talk


I get that too. Except I fear people will think I'm boring and that I talk too much. :sigh

I wouldn't like to be an extrovert, though. Just normal.


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## SilentProphet (Jun 1, 2007)

Yes! Thats why i have never had a girlfriend. I have nothing to say to 
"normal" people. Or even if i'm around a girl that i like i would spend so much time just thinking about what to say that by the time i think of soemthing it's too late! This hapepend a few weeks ago when iw ent outside to smoke a cigarette and this girl i know came outside to smoke with me, LOL i probably said one word to her the whole time, then felt like such an idiot the rest of the night thinking of what i should have said! I need to find me a girl who is crazier then me. :lol


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

Augustinus said:


> Little Miss Scare-All said:
> 
> 
> > Does anyone else do that? :afr
> ...


I wish I talked too much. :sigh


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

I met my girlfriend of three years online. She knew I wasn't boring, shallow or just plain stupid because I had plenty of time to correspond with her via email, IMing, etc. before we moved on to phone calls and ultimately meeting in person and moving in together. It's such a wonderful medium for getting to know people, the internet. I have time to think about what I'd like to say, so I'm never really put on the spot. I don't have to deal with rejection in person or even associating with people in person until I know I'm ready for it. And I don't have to self-medicate at random bars in order to meet women and wake up next to total strangers, hungover and consequently 10 x as anxious as I'd normally be.

Are you boring? What do you suppose should make you interesting to other people? I know relatively nothing about you except for the fact that you have relationship issues and involve yourself in some myspace model type contest. Take down the pictures for awhile and write something instead. Keep a regular blog, get involved with user groups, join a matchmaking site, etc. Express yourself in ways that don't involve competing physically with other women. You might find something a little closer to what you're looking for than just patrolling the local neighborhoods for whatever guy is available.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

Hell no I'm not taking my pictures down or backing out of that contest. I want to win. If I was at #50 then I'd say "**** it, no chance in hell am I ever winning this" but I'm #2. I have people with Hollywood connections trying to help me win the thing.
I've been told I'm boring...by people that I find boring. But some people think I'm fun(like my mom and my best friend) and those are the only people who really matter anyway. I just wish I didn't get so attached to these people so quick because I should know they're probably gonna let me down in the end anyway.


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

*Re: re: Getting attached to people too quick.....*



Little Miss Scare-All said:


> Hell no I'm not taking my pictures down or backing out of that contest. I want to win. If I was at #50 then I'd say "@#%$ it, no chance in hell am I ever winning this" but I'm #2. I have people with Hollywood connections trying to help me win the thing.
> I've been told I'm boring...by people that I find boring. But some people think I'm fun(like my mom and my best friend) and those are the only people who really matter anyway. I just wish I didn't get so attached to these people so quick because I should know they're probably gonna let me down in the end anyway.


Yeah, not really sure how to respond to you here. I can reply to this post, which essentially says "screw everyone else, I'm going to be how I want to be and who cares what they think!" or some of your others, which are very much self-conscious and approval seeking in nature. If you want honest responses, you need to be consistant with your questions and attitude regarding the topic at hand. If I visit a myspace profile laden with pictures and advertising a "hottest myspace chick" or whatever contest, with little else to indicate that the profile owner is just some chick flaunting her body, why should I think that she's anything other than just that? I'm glad that you're enjoying your celebrity status, though I have to admit I've never even heard of the contest and would never submit to clicking a button to boost the ego of some girl I've never met. I'm sure you're a very deep and insightful person...deep down somewhere. But if you're unwilling to show that side of yourself, be prepared for people to simply deduce that it doesn't exist.

So back to the topic at hand: why do you find yourself becoming attached and seeking the approval of people--potential significant others--so quickly? Because you need validation. You want people to think you're special. You want to feel secure. And, as I said before, you want approval. You can tell me a thousand times that no one's opinion but your mother's and your best friend's mean anything to you but that completely contradicts this post and your apparent intentions regarding men, conscious or otherwise. In my opinion, you're only letting yourself down. Setting yourself up to fail and then wondering, on this board, why you failed. It's a viscious cycle.


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## davemason2k (Feb 11, 2005)

You really can't take myspace seriously. Everyone hides behind a computer screen and can hide their flaws from everyone. Shauna, do you win a basket full of baked goods if you win the hottest girl on myspace compeition? What's the point? lol


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## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

*Re: re: Getting attached to people too quick.....*



path0gen said:


> Little Miss Scare-All said:
> 
> 
> > Hell no I'm not taking my pictures down or backing out of that contest. I want to win. If I was at #50 then I'd say "@#%$ it, no chance in hell am I ever winning this" but I'm #2. I have people with Hollywood connections trying to help me win the thing.
> ...


Hey man, that was a little mean. Shauna is just doing her best and venting her frustration and concerns like the rest of us do time to time. Sometimes all we really want to hear is confirmation of our emotions and I can understand how Shauna feels.

It's tough, Shauna, when you're surrounded by people who are negative in nature. Marilyn Vos Savant from Parade Magazine's Q&A column said that the quickest/easiest way to boost one's self-esteem is to surround themselves with great ppl who think YOU'RE great too. Sounds like your mother and best friend are those type of people.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

Little Miss Scare-All said:


> Does anyone else do that? :afr
> It's like as soon as I meet somebody I like I start worrying they're gonna stop talking to me and stuff. :um Or they'll begin to hate me and think I'm boring cause I don't talk
> God, it sucks being me. I would literally kill to be somebody else...anybody else. Anybody outgoing who talked all the time, who didn't have all this anxiety @#%$.
> 
> ...


There is only one person in the world that doesnt care if I dont talk, my gf  And my only other friend, I am able to talk to freely without anxiety for some reason. Besides that, everyone who meets me eventually hates me cause I dont talk.


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## embers (Dec 19, 2006)

> Are you boring? What do you suppose should make you interesting to other people? I know relatively nothing about you except for the fact that you have relationship issues and involve yourself in some myspace model type contest. Take down the pictures for awhile and write something instead. Keep a regular blog, get involved with user groups, join a matchmaking site, etc. Express yourself in ways that don't involve competing physically with other women. You might find something a little closer to what you're looking for than just patrolling the local neighborhoods for whatever guy is available.


This is falling on deaf ears. Most women need validation for their looks, prime example is someone who posts pics for a myspace model contest. Why are you so fixated on her? Infatuation maybe?

To Little Miss - You're a doll but the gal ahead of you is super far ahead, I think she has a following or a sponsor. Also, did you know that there is a woman in the top ten who looks like she's close to 500 pounds? Not sure if i'd take this contest seriously because of that fact alone. :stu


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

*Re: re: Getting attached to people too quick.....*



davemason2k said:


> You really can't take myspace seriously. Everyone hides behind a computer screen and can hide their flaws from everyone. Shauna, do you win a basket full of baked goods if you win the hottest girl on myspace compeition? What's the point? lol


Winner gets money & their own website/domain. The point is I want to win.



NightinGale said:


> Hey man, that was a little mean. Shauna is just doing her best and venting her frustration and concerns like the rest of us do time to time. Sometimes all we really want to hear is confirmation of our emotions and I can understand how Shauna feels.
> 
> It's tough, Shauna, when you're surrounded by people who are negative in nature. Marilyn Vos Savant from Parade Magazine's Q&A column said that the quickest/easiest way to boost one's self-esteem is to surround themselves with great ppl who think YOU'RE great too. Sounds like your mother and best friend are those type of people.


Thanks...but ah, alot of people here don't like me and that's fine. I'm used to it. Wherever I go I make enemies.
Yeah my mom & Britney always make me feel better.



Noca said:


> There is only one person in the world that doesnt care if I dont talk, my gf  And my only other friend, I am able to talk to freely without anxiety for some reason. Besides that, everyone who meets me eventually hates me cause I dont talk.


You're lucky to have somebody who doesnt care if you talk...why cant we all be that lucky :sigh



embers said:


> To Little Miss - You're a doll but the gal ahead of you is super far ahead, I think she has a following or a sponsor. Also, did you know that there is a woman in the top ten who looks like she's close to 500 pounds? Not sure if i'd take this contest seriously because of that fact alone. :stu


thanks...yeah I dont know how she got so far ahead so quick...one minute she wasn't even on the list and the next, she's number 1.
yeah is that the uniboob woman that's in the top? :um the big blonde lady? she used to have a pic on there that made her boobs like like they were just one big boob in the center, it was strange. :lol


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

*Re: re: Getting attached to people too quick.....*



 path0gen said:


> In my opinion, you're only letting yourself down. Setting yourself up to fail and then wondering, on this board, why you failed. It's a viscious cycle.


Well it's certainly not gonna be any different if I expect to not fail...actually then it's just 100 x worse because if you expect something good & it doesnt happen...you're disappointed. At least if you're not expecting it you can't be as disappointed when you turn out to be right anyway.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

True, but the disappointment is still there and it sucks.

I get attached emotionally, but I try not to spill my heart out. I try to read the guy first to see how he treats me and if he acts like he's really into me. I haven't encountered someone I'm interested in who's _that_ into me. Stupid boys.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Little Miss Scare-All said:


> Does anyone else do that? :afr
> It's like as soon as I meet somebody I like I start worrying they're gonna stop talking to me and stuff. :um Or they'll begin to hate me and think I'm boring cause I don't talk
> God, it sucks being me. I would literally kill to be somebody else...anybody else. Anybody outgoing who talked all the time, who didn't have all this anxiety @#%$.
> 
> ...


Yeah but look at it from another angle. How many outgoing people are crappy people? And I think sa tends to make us attach to people quicker than the average person.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

*Re: re: Getting attached to people too quick.....*



Strange Religion said:


> I haven't encountered someone I'm interested in who's _that_ into me. Stupid boys.


I haven't either 



scairy said:


> Little Miss Scare-All said:
> 
> 
> > Does anyone else do that? :afr
> ...


Alot of outgoing people are crappy...but I still wish I was outgoing. :sigh


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

> Thanks...but ah, alot of people here don't like me and that's fine. I'm used to it. Wherever I go I make enemies.


This is a little overly-dramatic; I don't dislike you and I'm certainly not your enemy. Some people I just perceive as needing a swift kick in the pants. When people rant or ask for advice about relationships, I try to be as objective as possible. Often times, all that's required is a little perspective, which I've given. It's your choice whether or not you want to accept it for what it is or feel persecuted instead.

Lets dissect the post again:

You cling to people and you don't know why but the reasons are fairly apparent, so I stated them. You're upset about other peoples' perceptions of you so I advised that you make a few simple changes to alter said pereceptions. Finally, you indicated that online celebrity status was more important than achieving these goals and coming to terms with your problems, so I essentially repeated this to you, more bluntly than you would have liked. Every response I've written has been based on the purest logic and best of intentions.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

*Re: re: Getting attached to people too quick.....*



path0gen said:


> This is a little overly-dramatic; I don't dislike you and I'm certainly not your enemy. Some people I just perceive as needing a swift kick in the pants. When people rant or ask for advice about relationships, I try to be as objective as possible. Often times, all that's required is a little perspective, which I've given. It's your choice whether or not you want to accept it for what it is or feel persecuted instead.
> 
> Lets dissect the post again:
> 
> You cling to people and you don't know why but the reasons are fairly apparent, so I stated them. You're upset about other peoples' perceptions of you so I advised that you make a few simple changes to alter said pereceptions. Finally, you indicated that online celebrity status was more important than achieving these goals and coming to terms with your problems, so I essentially repeated this to you, more bluntly than you would have liked. Every response I've written has been based on the purest logic and best of intentions.


it's not just you that I was talking about.
and taking down my pictures and/or backing out of that model contest is not gonna change anything. I don't see how you think it would change anything.


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## LosingLover89 (Apr 3, 2011)

Shauna The Dead said:


> Does anyone else do that? :afr
> It's like as soon as I meet somebody I like I start worrying they're gonna stop talking to me and stuff. :um Or they'll begin to hate me and think I'm boring cause I don't talk
> God, it sucks being me. I would literally kill to be somebody else...anybody else. Anybody outgoing who talked all the time, who didn't have all this anxiety ****.
> 
> ...


My friend has the same problem. He can't even get close to someone before starting to think they hate him. I wish this entire forum was like it's own little town. We would probably be so much happier. Either that or just a giant town of **** ups lol  I hate my life


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## thatdudegrim (Apr 1, 2011)

.


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## MojoCrunch (Mar 25, 2011)

Shauna The Dead said:


> Does anyone else do that? :afr
> It's like as soon as I meet somebody I like I start worrying they're gonna stop talking to me and stuff. :um Or they'll begin to hate me and think I'm boring cause I don't talk
> God, it sucks being me. I would literally kill to be somebody else...anybody else. Anybody outgoing who talked all the time, who didn't have all this anxiety ****.
> 
> ...


:ditto


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

I almost did, to this girl I know online. But thankfully, I was shaken out of it just in time. She informed me that I was competing (with other candidates) for her affections, so that forced a reality check.

I don't mind the competition, but why does everything have to be so ****ing hard?


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## Banzai (Jun 4, 2009)

Yeah. I don't really trust anyone as a result. It's a cruel cycle.


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## wolfeyes (Mar 30, 2011)

"It's like as soon as I meet somebody I like I start worrying they're gonna stop talking to me and stuff. :um Or they'll begin to hate me and think I'm boring cause I don't talk "

That part is EXACTLY how I feel. Probably because it has happened to me a lot haha. And recently this guy told me there was "no connection," which seemed to support this fear. The truth is, quiet people are probably some of the most interesting people, because we have many layers to our personalities. Why can't anybody else see this and just take the time and put in the effort to get to know us?


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