# Is it wrong to love yourself?



## PocketoAlice (Jan 22, 2014)

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## ineverwipe (Jun 16, 2013)

Nah it's perfectly fine. In fact it's healthy. But yes you have to find a comfortable medium so you don't come across as a narcissist (which is a thing people love to throw around these days)

So I'd say go ahead and love yourself, just don't be too open about it or people may get the wrong idea


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## Gas Raid (Feb 19, 2014)

Yeah, it's ok to do. It's also perfectly ok to be selfish sometimes, too.


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## mishima (Feb 3, 2014)

Just because most people don't like the fact that you love yourself it doesn't mean you shouldn't love yourself, it only means people are not comfortable with your self-confidence for many reasons.


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## LolaViola (Jun 23, 2013)

mishima said:


> Just because most people don't like the fact that you love yourself it doesn't mean you shouldn't love yourself, it only means people are not comfortable with your self-confidence for many reasons.


I totally agree.


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## KaitlynRose (Aug 28, 2013)

PocketoAlice said:


> If you don't openly express that you love yourself, you're told to love yourself more, that you will never be able to love another if you don't love yourself, etc. However it seems if you openly love yourself you will ultimately get shot down, called a narcissist or are just flat out conceited.
> 
> *Is it really so wrong to love and be happy with yourself?*


Certainly not.

But there is a difference between being content with yourself and boasting about your exaggerated traits or talents every available moment to anyone who has an ear to listen. Loving yourself is something that is generally not spoken, but shone through your personality and aspects of your life: By being confident, dressing well, taking care of yourself, containing evident ambition for the future and the list goes on. Sometimes actions can speak far louder than words.


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## GotAnxiety (Oct 14, 2011)

You need enough love to share if you don't got enough love for yourself then how can you share.


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## dark (May 10, 2010)

You should love yourself.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

I love myself a little too much some days. I'm just becoming extremely comfortable with who I am and how I look and fully embracing it. I think about having a little girl who looks just like me and looking into her eyes and seeing myself in them.

I guess that would be the epitome of narcissism. Giving birth to yourself. :b

Is there anything really harmful with this type of thinking? I think it's way more positive and productive than thinking the opposite and it's actually given me the impetus throughout my entire life to get things done. Placing high value on your self worth is definitely only harmful for others around you.


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## Scipioneflorer (Feb 6, 2014)

I think is ok, but you be careful , you mustn't think that you are perfect in all aspects , anywhere is a possibility to be better


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## louiselouisa (Jul 12, 2012)

I don't think people love/hate themselves, it's just to them, we sound like we're hating ourselves so they tell us to 'love yourself'.

it's like some people can't look people in the eyes, does that mean they have low confidence? I can look people in the eyes but IDK, it's just what I am. I don't feel like I'm above people when I look at them. Some people hate being fat, when I was fat, I didn't hate myself, it's just how I felt, I didn't purposely make me love myself and I didn't feel like a narcissist for being content with my body. You feel like a narcissist because it's forced, you create the artificial love for yourself, you feel like you're bragging. For other people, it comes naturally, it's not a matter of loving/hating yourself, they don't actively praise themselves. But it's true if you keep doing that, maybe you'll truly love yourself (aka you're content with yourself) instead of having to praise yourself. So in the end, it's still 'fake it till you make it'.

to the thread question, no, it's not wrong, it's the feeling of having to fake your love to yourself that makes you feel like a narcissist. I don't think 'loving yourself' works that way, as a human, you DO need to know your weaknesses and your strengths. so, just don't go overboard.


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## Edwolf (Dec 6, 2013)

I'm a shameless narcissist u mad


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## ShatteredGlass (Oct 12, 2012)

I love myself. To be honest, I think I'm better than most people at my school.


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## Alleviate Suffering (Jan 28, 2014)

It's not wrong. The best thing would be to fill your heart with love and love yourself and others with equal intensity.


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## GrainneR (Feb 7, 2014)

Ha ha, I would settle for being able to be in my own skin without wanting to carve it open.
I would think that there's a difference between loving yourself, and being conceited. It's a fine line, obviously, but it's there. I wonder what it would be like to not hate myself.


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## scorch428 (Sep 2, 2013)

I love myself usually around 15x a week. Once during my morning shower, and once before bedtime.


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## Zett (Feb 27, 2014)

I think it's a really good quality and I completely agree with KaitlynRose, as long as it's a quality that boosts your personality rather than making you a social monster. There's always a fine balance required to life isn't there?

On my end I find it hard to reach that level of respect for myself. I'm probably my harshest critic and while I don't consider my self esteem to be that low it's not quite high enough to think that I should be 100% proud of what I am. I kinda envy you. I can't look past my flaws, I see them as problems that need to be managed or changed.

For example, I have a short temper and I flare up really easily at the smallest of offenses. However, I also cool down quickly and become more rational as I cool down, and then the regret kicks in. By this stage the person I'm angry with is also angry but they are still angry when I've cooled down ><, the damage has been done.

I don't want to think I have to accept this trait, it's been a problem with some of my closer friends and past relationships. I want to adapt it or change it. I want to stay cool longer, take longer before I reach that limit and blow up or maybe not blow up at all but it takes a lot of effort. Sometimes I remember just in time and stop and sometimes I don't stop and let it all go (and that's when it really goes down bad xD). 

This is the sort of thing that prevents me from really loving myself. And it's just one trait of many that I'm not proud of. Thought I'd share this not as a plea for help but rather as a 'hey this is what I'm experiencing' note.


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## euphoria04 (May 8, 2012)

Loving yourself means just that, loving who you are flaws and all. And acknowledging/embracing your shortcomings while humbling yourself that you're a flawed being with room for improvement, like the rest of us.

Being a narcissist entails attempting to present as a flawless being incapable of faults, and believing yourself to be irrationally self-important with nothing to learn from others.

There's a big difference.


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## imabean (Mar 10, 2014)

It's ok to make yourself a priority. There's nothing wrong with loving yourself. In the end, the only constant thing we'll have in our lives is ourselves so best make amends with ourselves now. :')


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## 000XXX000 (Dec 1, 2013)

In public? I am thinking that might not go well...


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## Zyriel (May 20, 2011)

Right and wrong are often subjective and in the context of one's society. Which is why I find this thread horribly ironic lol. To reassure oneself constantly, that "you love yourself" (not addressed to you OP, just in general) is just sort of accepting the fact that you don't lol. It's like someone saying, "I'm the boss listen to me" lol.

In a personal opinion, I don't think "loving the self" should be something that is a focus on one's life. Content in oneself is another thing though. I do think one should build skills in desired fields, or knowledge in interests, possibly. It just depends on the individual, but too much attention on the self, creates conceited arrogance, wanton vanity. Which can be rather annoying or obnoxious, without sufficient humility, hospitality, and respect. However, that may be somewhat of a cultural outlook that skews my thought process towards such endeavors.

Since you seem to like J-pop/J-rock and possibly anime according to your profile (I may be wrong, and am sorry if I am being presumptuous), this may interest you:

(It's about manners, custtoms and mode of behavior that are "acceptable" in one country, yet seen *** odd or even openly rude in another. But a good show of various perspectives that exist, outside the self.)


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

*I'm 100% proud of myself*

confident
bold

other people are fools until they redeem themselves

I think The law has this standpoint.

Every human is a dangerous criminal until they prove otherwise.

It could be dangerous to be too proud and down-looking. I handle it almost well.


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## Andre Sossi (Nov 10, 2014)

I think that it's impossible to truly love someone else before you can love yourself. You might think you do, but this is love for someone because you're dependent of them them.


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## catcharay (Sep 15, 2011)

There is nothing wrong w loving yourself. In all, I think it would be better to love yourself to the point of narcissism, a strong ego even though it's an off putting trait

The people I admire are those w a quiet confidence and a humbleness, while also knowing the full effect of their worth when they stand up for themselves and treat others w respect 

So exude self love but don't be a tool about it


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## forgetmylife (Oct 1, 2011)

no.

just don't think or spout that you're better than anyone else...


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## lilyamongthorns (Aug 13, 2012)

I :heart me!! Yes, it's a good positive thing.


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

I've never understood the value in loving yourself. By my definition, it's narcissism. I don't see how it wouldn't be. It goes beyond acceptance and into self-glorification. Humility is a good thing, and rare these days.


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## shycat69 (Nov 16, 2014)

PocketoAlice said:


> I feel like "loving yourself" is a complete catch twenty-two. If you don't openly express that you love yourself, you're told to love yourself more, that you will never be able to love another if you don't love yourself, etc. However it seems if you openly love yourself you will ultimately get shot down, called a narcissist or are just flat out conceited.
> 
> I know deep down I love myself, I feel happy with who I am inside and feel my imperfections only make me that much more of a unique and colorful character with something to offer to the world. Is it really so wrong to love and be happy with yourself?


Hi, I think that you put your finger on it with your second paragraph. It is good to be happy with who you are inside - you're not conceited, just content with your personality. If you feel like that don't listen to any comments other people might make. You're YOU


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## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

It's only wrong if it's hurts someone else. If you're not being an a-- about it, it's not wrong to love yourself, I guess. It might be a little insufferable if you are a narcissist, but to just treat yourself to some self-respect is not even remotely bad. Honestly though, I don't know how people even like themselves. We know every intimate detail about our own lives- it just seems like with all the actions we make on a daily basis, and all the inevitable mistakes, I don't understand how anyone could not be self-loathing. That's why I think it's important to balance self-love with awareness and occasional compassion for others. If you can strike that balance you're not so bad off. At the very least, giving other people the benefit of the doubt and being selfless from time to time helps quell the sea of self-loathing, at least a little, lol.


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## forgetmylife (Oct 1, 2011)

LawfulStupid said:


> I've never understood the value in loving yourself. By my definition, it's narcissism. I don't see how it wouldn't be. It goes beyond acceptance and into self-glorification. Humility is a good thing, and rare these days.


what if I love myself and everything else? am I still narcissist?


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## thetah (Dec 25, 2014)

I think you need to love (respect) yourself before you can truly love someone else. Otherwise you will become dependent on others for happiness which isn't healthy.


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## microbopeep (Apr 28, 2013)

That's great if you do! I don't, and I've accepted it. I usually find other ppl's lives and personalities more interesting than mine...lol x]


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## MrKnight (Feb 5, 2015)

"I want to tell women that you need to love yourself and make yourself a priority. It's only when you are happy yourself. Can you make everyone else around you happy. I am still a dreamer and still believe in fairy tales, but there is only so much one should give another person. You need to keep something for yourself."

I really love this quote and I felt it could add to your post.


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## harry26 (Dec 4, 2014)

No i don't think so it wrong to love yourself because everybody has their own personality.


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## emmo7 (Jun 29, 2012)

"There is only love and fear...There is no fear in love". I think this essentially rings true


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## Triumph (Jan 16, 2015)

PocketoAlice said:


> I feel like "loving yourself" is a complete catch twenty-two. If you don't openly express that you love yourself, you're told to love yourself more, that you will never be able to love another if you don't love yourself, etc. However it seems if you openly love yourself you will ultimately get shot down, called a narcissist or are just flat out conceited.
> 
> I know deep down I love myself, I feel happy with who I am inside and feel my imperfections only make me that much more of a unique and colorful character with something to offer to the world. Is it really so wrong to love and be happy with yourself?


I think everyone does love themselves deep down, it's closer to the surface that we seem to having issues. Or, maybe I've got that backwards?

In any case, it's easy for us to say, or write, "I love myself", but, how much of the day do we carry this feeling? It should be all of the time. If it's all of the time, we probably wouldn't have the amount of lows that have brought us here to this site. SA and self esteem are so tightly knit. It makes me wonder how much room would be left for SA if my self esteem was optimal and glowing.

This thread is awesome and strikes such a nerve with probably everyone. I want to recommend a book I downloaded recently which I've implemented into my protocol called"Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It" by Kamal Ravikant. He talks about repeating the simple mantra "I love Myself" endlessly day, night, in the shower, at work, talking to people, etc. Eventually, the brain allegedly will automatically continue this on it's own, just like "ANTS" (automatic negative thoughts). I've just begun this. I hope it works


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

the thought of loving myself seems bizarre and uncomfortable

like that question on OKcupid "If there was a clone of you, would you have sex with it?"

From a position of self loathing I'm working on being fair to myself. Being kind to myself is a step above that. Loving myself is several steps above that. Got a ways to go.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

calichick said:


> I love myself a little too much some days. I'm just becoming extremely comfortable with who I am and how I look and fully embracing it. I think about having a little girl who looks just like me and looking into her eyes and seeing myself in them.
> 
> I guess that would be the epitome of narcissism. Giving birth to yourself. :b


Well you go girl :b Seriously. That's the only way to be, the only way to think.

When you have a little mini-me, trust me, it totally redefines what you think love is. There is no other love like it, you would seriously jump in front of a train to save that "little girl who looks just like me". It redefines who you are, and you're whole reason for being alive.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

TenYears said:


> Well you go girl :b Seriously. That's the only way to be, the only way to think.
> 
> When you have a little mini-me, trust me, it totally redefines what you think love is. There is no other love like it, you would seriously jump in front of a train to save that "little girl who looks just like me". It redefines who you are, and you're whole reason for being alive.


The thing is though that as much as I want to pass down my physical features I think that if I have a daughter it won't look like me, everyone knows females take more after their fathers.

I look more like my dad after all.

Hot guys please apply :lol

I have some potentials right now.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

I love me some attractive men...

Damn.


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## Ressurection (Feb 20, 2015)

There's a trick to this. Love yourself, whether with confidence or arrogance (narcissism) but don't portray it out and flaunt yourself, like an exhibitionist.
Nobody can possibly judge, and you can continue being what you want.
In my opinion, it's not wrong to love yourself. Because if you don't, who else really will? Everyone else seems to be self-involved anyway. Try to not put so much thought on your behavior. I know it's hard when you have SA, but just do what makes you happy. If self love makes you feel good, then what's the problem with that? besides, narcissism isn't that bad anyway. Treating others badly as a narcissist is though.


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## smarticus (Feb 10, 2015)

I think it's necessary to love yourself. As long as you don't hurt others in the process, it's a very important thing to feel happy and comfortable with who you are.


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## 2Milk (Oct 29, 2014)

Someone that truly loves himself does not need to tell the whole world that they do.
Keep it to yourself.


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## AllieG (Feb 20, 2014)

There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving yourself (it must be a lot better than hating yourself that is for sure) but you don't want to go overboard and act conceited y'know.


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