# embarrassed myself at work- i just lost it?



## thatlonergirl (Mar 9, 2014)

Hey so I'm new to this site, but Ive seen so many questions on here that i can relate to so I decided to give a shot. So here goes:
Ive been at my job for quite a few months now and it sucks. It is a retail job, and I have embarrassed myself quite a few times during my time here & alot of my coworkers talk **** behind my back (Ive walked into the breakroom once to hear a group of people talking about me). 

So today, I went to work in a bad mood.. I went to bed depressed and hating myself, I didnt get enough sleep, had a really depressing dream,and it was overall just a really ****ty week. So during work, i felt so irritated, and this lady gave me attitude, and I gave her attitude back in front of alot of customers amd O was so angry I started shaking.. Then I lost it and went to my manager and just rage quit. On top of that, I started crying and could not stop and a bunch ofu coworkers and customers witnesed. The thing is, they all think it is because she ggave me attitude but when I reflect, I realize thay I just have so much emotions bottled up and just wanted to lash out. But I agreed to go to my last shift, next week, plus I have to go back another time to pick up my cheque. im just so humiliated, what is wrong with me i cant even control my emotions. On top od that, im now a complete laughing stock. I just hate myself so much..


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## thediamondsea (Feb 10, 2014)

Oh, I feel your pain. I've had my own similar work breakdowns and am still embarrassed by ones that occurred even years ago.

One thing to note, though, is that you're not a laughing stock. People sadly enjoy seeing drama now and then, but at the end of the day they really don't care -- they have their own issues to deal with. 

Second thing, is please forgive yourself. As you put it, you were a bottle of emotions just ready to burst. It SUCKS when we get to that point. But you were doing the best you could in the moment. Don't hate yourself; look at yourself with kindness and try to imagine ways that you can make things better for yourself in the future... perhaps discovering ways to outlet your emotions before they bottleneck. (For me, it's music, and I suffer more when I don't have time to write.)

Again, as another emotional SA-sufferer, I feel your pain. You're not alone! :heart


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