# Why think positive?



## Joana54 (Jun 18, 2013)

I was thinking all will be find for me and my son. Out from nowhere I am to be transfered to another Medical Laboratory in the country which doesn't earn much like the Main Laboratory in our Country.

My son is to move to another school...unfortunately in that small town, there are no school that will fit in my son. "WHY THINK POSITIVE WHEN LIFE IS JUST FULL OF ****?"

Politics in our Country is just too much. Jealousy and wanting to have the best Job title ruins life for some people like me and my son!

Life is still SUCKS for me!

WHY???


----------



## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

I don't think forced positive thinking is very worthwhile. A positive attitude in general is good, but is not the same thing as thinking thoughts like everything is fine, I love myself etc. I prefer more of a be here now philosophy, just focus on what you are doing, less thinking about anything else, the better. If that makes sense


----------



## smallfries (Jun 21, 2013)

The question is, "why think negative?" Will thinking negative help us? Of course not, but then again, if I think positively, will it hurt me? Again, no. It might not necessarily help me either, especially if things are going bad and they turn out bad anyway, but I can't imagine how it would hurt me to look on the bright side either. If I were to always think negative, on the other hand, no matter how bad my circumstances, then I wouldn't wake up tomorrow. No, really, if all I allowed myself to picture for the future was a black hole and emptiness, I certainly wouldn't be willing to continue my life. Not to say that I don't do this sometimes, because as an SA person how can I not, but I do try. 

I'm not suggesting anyone lie to themselves, because that doesn't do any good, but...I don't know, if I don't at least try to think positively, then why do I bother at all? 

I'm really sorry things are going poorly for you right now. Maybe you'll find something good out of your new job position - perhaps better co workers?


----------



## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

Negative thinking does help us, and we're wired to think negatively for survival. Doesn't mean you think negative all the time though.

The situation is what it is, and positive thinking doesn't change that, and can be an unhealthy form of denial. And looking at the number of self-help books on the subject, I'd say there's an unhealthy obsession with it.


----------



## CrimsonTrigger (Jun 28, 2011)

Thinking positively doesn't mean you have to ignore or like every negative event in your life. Sometimes things go wrong in life. Sometimes we don't get what we want. Positive thinking is more about accepting things as they are and trying to make the best of it, which is not always easy. 

Positive thinking can't make miracles out of everything, but it does give you strength and energy to deal with events like this. That's what I've found with my life and I have been trying to be more positive about things.


----------



## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

CrimsonTrigger said:


> Thinking positively doesn't mean you have to ignore or like every negative event in your life. Sometimes things go wrong in life. Sometimes we don't get what we want. Positive thinking is more about accepting things as they are and trying to make the best of it, which is not always easy.
> 
> Positive thinking can't make miracles out of everything, but it does give you strength and energy to deal with events like this. That's what I've found with my life and I have been trying to be more positive about things.


Giving you strength may work for some, but it's too much of a generalization to say it gives you energy for things like this. Say you lose a child, for example.

You don't want to ignore negative events, but you don't want to close off yourself from negative emotions either. There's too much advice out there, crap like The Secret, that admonishes people to always think positive.


----------



## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

smallfries said:


> The question is, "why think negative?" Will thinking negative help us? Of course not, but then again, if I think positively, will it hurt me? Again, no. It might not necessarily help me either, especially if things are going bad and they turn out bad anyway, but I can't imagine how it would hurt me to look on the bright side either. If I were to always think negative, on the other hand, no matter how bad my circumstances, then I wouldn't wake up tomorrow. No, really, if all I allowed myself to picture for the future was a black hole and emptiness, I certainly wouldn't be willing to continue my life. Not to say that I don't do this sometimes, because as an SA person how can I not, but I do try.
> 
> I'm not suggesting anyone lie to themselves, because that doesn't do any good, but...I don't know, if I don't at least try to think positively, then why do I bother at all?
> 
> I'm really sorry things are going poorly for you right now. Maybe you'll find something good out of your new job position - perhaps better co workers?


You just said everything I don't have the energy to put into words. Nice to see others with the same view point.



CrimsonTrigger said:


> Thinking positively doesn't mean you have to ignore or like every negative event in your life. Sometimes things go wrong in life. Sometimes we don't get what we want. *Positive thinking is more about accepting things as they are and trying to make the best of it, which is not always easy. *
> 
> Positive thinking can't make miracles out of everything, but it does give you strength and energy to deal with events like this. That's what I've found with my life and I have been trying to be more positive about things.


This is what positive thinking is.

Trying to convert someone who is positive to negative is near impossible. Trying to convert someone who is negative to positive is near impossible. Unless someone actively wants to change, or gives up the fight. I think it comes from conditioning, and what appears to have worked in the past.

Personally, I know that if I did not think positively I would be in an alternate universe. I would not have achieve anywhere near what I have and I would not have the goals I currently have. I also know that I would not view a few of my quirks as strengths.


----------



## YouWillWin (Jun 17, 2013)

Understand that right now things aren't that great, but sooner or later if you work hard enough things will get better.


----------



## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

YouWillWin said:


> Understand that right now things aren't that great, but sooner or later if you work hard enough things will get better.


That's really an assumption. It seems OP was ripped out of a higher paying job through politics, which really sucks. Maybe a case of who you know, not what you know. I think some time and familiarity with the new job will help, and hopefully will turn out to be a better environment in the end.


----------



## YouWillWin (Jun 17, 2013)

caveman8 said:


> That's really an assumption. It seems OP was ripped out of a higher paying job through politics, which really sucks. Maybe a case of who you know, not what you know. I think some time and familiarity with the new job will help, and hopefully will turn out to be a better environment in the end.


Well in order to think more positive, what I posted is essential to progressing. I'm familiar with the site and understand that nobody is ever right. Not even psychological therapeutic professionals lol .. it's all love tho


----------



## travail (Jun 24, 2013)

I don't know where you're from so I don't have the liberty to make assumptions on your options.

I think both negative and positive thinking are irrational and equally correct.
The difference is one is self destructive and the other is progressive and life-affirming.
To have best of both worlds, choose the positive truth and endure the negative ones.


----------



## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

travail said:


> I don't know where you're from so I don't have the liberty to make assumptions on your options.
> 
> I think both negative and positive thinking are irrational and equally correct.
> The difference is one is self destructive and the other is progressive and life-affirming.
> To have best of both worlds, choose the positive truth and endure the negative ones.


Positive thinkers in many cases strain themselves to think that way, trying hard to convince themselves things will turn out fine. In that sense, it can be self-destructive.

We can't classify all positive thinking as good, and all negative thinking as bad. That is an overly simplistic view reflective of popular trash like The Secret.


----------



## travail (Jun 24, 2013)

Hi caveman8,
I know what you mean. I find it unsettling when I come across them as much as I find anyone else in denial over various things.
I watched The Secret based on its best selling rep and it didn't sell me either.
I don't know if I came across many positive thinkers who strain themselves in such a way, though I had my fair share of people in denial in my life, regrettably. Luckily I severed ties with a lot of toxic people.
I see that you're from Ontario, Canada? I'm in N. America so the demographics and culture probably explains the gap in our comparisons.

I don't particularly disagree with what you've replied to me with. It was nice talking with you.


----------



## Tomyx (Jun 27, 2013)

The only reason I can think to remain positive is to push past the barriers. I know when I want to talk to someone, I am consumed by negative feelings, a sense that I am worthless and I have no place bothering people, all that jazz. So, whatever gets the job done. I know if I felt better about myself, I could probably find what I need to talk. But it just doesn't happen most times...


----------



## Hyperborea (Aug 28, 2011)

Why think anything at all.


----------



## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

Hyperborea said:


> Why think anything at all.


That's actually a good thing in a lot of cases, in terms of not rehashing the past or worrying about the future.


----------



## Digital Dictator (Nov 24, 2011)

Because nothing could be more positive than accepting the fact that life sucks, so look forward to the one thing you can change about your life: your future.


----------



## fainthearted (May 24, 2013)

I find that once I *accept* a bad situation I can turn my attention to opportunities that I may not have been able to see when I was angry. My advice would be to allow yourself time to be angry about what has happened, come up with a game plan for what you need to do right now (such as, readjusting your budget, fine-tuning your resume, etc.) and once you can look at your situation from this new standpoint see if you can find any viable options.

You might have to make some *very* tough, uncomfortable decisions in the short term, such as, picking up a second job or leaving your current employer for a new one who offers better wages. Try not to let the solutions bring you down because your main goal is a change for the better.


----------



## bzguy (Jun 29, 2013)

Thinking positive definitely will have a positive affect on your life.
People are attracted to people who see solutions where others see problems.
You will have a lot more friends who will help you accomplish a lot more and will gain the self esteem that comes with that.


----------



## bzguy (Jun 29, 2013)

bzguy said:


> Thinking positive definitely will have a positive affect on your life.
> People are attracted to people who see solutions where others see problems.
> You will have a lot more friends who will help you accomplish a lot more and will gain the self esteem that comes with that.


It has occurred to me that as a new member I am probably coming off like a trite airhead who's never had a care in the world.
I apologize for that, I assure you all that I was a basket case for decades.
Only keeping busy even when it seemed like it was impossible to get out of bed finally provided some relief.
One thing I learned about myself, thinking about doing something was 10 times harder than actually doing it.


----------



## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

bzguy said:


> Thinking positive definitely will have a positive affect on your life.
> People are attracted to people who see solutions where others see problems.
> You will have a lot more friends who will help you accomplish a lot more and will gain the self esteem that comes with that.


What if the "solution" isn't a great alternative either?

You can still be positive in general, while admitting there's a problem, that may not in fact have a reasonable solution.

Why the plethora of books, tapes and seminars on the subject, in one of the wealthiest most advanced countries in the world?

And, it's still not working.

All this effort to make what's wrong right - maybe that's part of the problem?

Life isn't perfect, there ARE problems, and there isn't always an easy or great solution, and thinking positive about everything isn't the way to go either. Maybe life is just built that way, and we are better off accepting that.


----------



## bzguy (Jun 29, 2013)

caveman8 said:


> What if the "solution" isn't a great alternative either?
> 
> You can still be positive in general, while admitting there's a problem, that may not in fact have a reasonable solution.
> 
> ...


I understand your frustration.
If you think I'm simplistic and trite about anxiety and depression, maybe you didn't read my edited post.
I also am frustrated with people who assume that it will all come out right in the end.
I refer to this as "Perfect World Syndrome".
I spent many years thinking nothing would ever be right for me.
I have resigned myself to the fact that in an ever increasingly populated world, we become more disconnected from a caring society.
From a scientific standpoint we evolved into small bands of hunter-gatherers.
This went on for a million years, only in the last 10,000, 1%, did "Civilization" take place.
In the last 100 years, another 1% of that, we have gone internet global.
We are now de-volving.
In the hunter-gatherer days, everyone in the tribe knew who the slackers and thieves were and dealt with them accordingly from a very young age.
I would venture to say they were far more social than "Modern humans".
Now rich people don't ever have to be confronted by the people they have impoverished.
Now there are social programs to insure that people who would never have made it by natural selection are assured the right to bear children.
Every day the wealth disparity and human rights go further down the tubes as the rich isolate themselves from the results of their greed.
They have TV shows about hoarders, people with too many cats, people who never throw anything out.
Isn't it curious that no one has TV shows about people with uncountable, inconceivable billions while others starve?
So, now are we on the same page?
Yes, I'm sad too.
Now that I've identified, all i want to say is I have found ways to mitigate but not completely eliminate my anxiety and will share them.


----------



## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

Same


----------

