# Low Self-Esteem + Crush on Teaching Assistant



## Gamesizer (May 23, 2013)

This is a relatively long post but please hear me out if you've got the time 

I'm a 2nd year student in university and the experience for me so far has been OK. I messed up a lot in first year because my SA (which has caused me to have low self-esteem) was out of control. I never went to office hours for help, always got out of school and went home ASAP because I couldn't stand being around people, barely studied, etc. but I've finally made a few real friends and 2nd year has been going a lot better for me (at the very least, I've finally gained the confidence to ask the professors for help).

I've run into a pretty different issue this year though. Though I don't let most of my friends see it, my SA is still there and hinders me but fortunately on a smaller scale than before. What really brought it out in full force this year though was a teaching assistant that I had last semester for one of my Math classes. A few weeks into the semester, while taking a quiz, I just glanced at him and realized that I thought he was really cute. I always wanted to see if I could work up the courage to talk to him but unfortunately I had class right before and after that tutorial so I never had the opportunity (aside from asking him questions about the homework during the tutorial).

I saw him around campus a few times and noticed that in addition to his good looks and intelligence, he also seemed to be pretty social. I'd see him hanging around and talking to people or even representing an organization. It made me feel a bit disappointed in myself since I didn't think I could ever reach his level because of SA but after talking about it with a few of my closer friends, I decided that I should just go through the semester and try to get over him afterward.

So the 1st semester passed and as the 2nd semester was beginning, the course syllabi came out, I was surprised to find out that he was going to be the teaching assistant AGAIN for one of my classes! Furthermore, the tutorial I signed up for was a late one which meant it was the last tutorial that he'd be teaching for the day and I had no class afterward! Two weeks ago, I finally worked up the courage to have a conversation with him after our tutorial and I asked him what his mark for that course was. After he told me (it was near perfect), we talked a bit in the hallway and he gave me some advice on how he manages to get really good marks. The whole time, he was so friendly and so sweet. We had barely talked before and he was being so honest and helpful towards me!

So now I know that the TA I have a huge crush on has a great personality and actually knows I exist; but after that conversation, it's like my SA just reset and came back in full force. Every week, I worry about what sort of things I should talk to him about and whether or not he thinks I'm stupid. Everything about him makes me feel inferior and suddenly I'm worried again about what everyone thinks about me. I've talked to some of my close friends about the issue and I've been getting a mixed response.

What do you guys think? Realistically, is it possible that I could become his friend? What sort of conversation starters should I use? Should I even try? If I don't, I feel like I might be sitting there in the exam room at the end of the semester with a huge amount of regret built up inside me. But at the same time, I feel like I'm so below him that he wouldn't even take friendship with me as a serious thought. I think he might be graduating this year so I don't think I'll be able to see him around school next year.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!


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## Higgins (Apr 19, 2012)

I can't really give you advice on how to approach him/become his friend because I'm absolutely terrible at that, especially when it's somebody I'm highly attracted to. However, I will say that you should definitely try, because living with the regret of not knowing what could've happened is much worse than going for it and the potential of being turned down. He seems like a really nice guy though, so I'd say your odds of befriending him at least are good.


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## Gamesizer (May 23, 2013)

I just got the mark for my first term test back and I did pretty badly -_-
It wasn't a fail but way below what I expected. Now I'm getting paranoid that he'll think I'm an idiot. I guess I just have to keep going though.

Thanks for the input Higgins! It's nice to see something like "...your odds of befriending him at least are good" even when my mind is convincing me of the complete opposite.


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## Shade Snake (Jan 1, 2014)

Sounds like you want to be more than friends with him. You should ask to study and do homework together. Like you said, you don't want to live with regrets.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

I can't give you advice because I have no friends. Hope I helped.


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