# Would you date someone who had social anixety?



## hbk4894 (Sep 2, 2014)

just wondering.


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## hypestyle (Nov 12, 2003)

Yes I would. Would it last, depending on what her issues are in relation to mine, that I'm trying to work my way out of? Who knows.


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## iCod (Feb 17, 2015)

It depends on how severe it is in relation to mine. Does she actually want to improve upon her life or has she given up on that whole idea and is embracing a life of solitude and staying indoors? If the latter, then sure I guess.


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## peace_love (Oct 24, 2008)

Hell yes.


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

Labels are for ketchup bottles, bean tins and coke bottles , no I would not date a bean tin :/ but maybe a coke bottle they have got curves in all the right places  ...


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## The Starry night (May 23, 2015)

Nope. :/


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## AnonymousPersonG (Nov 5, 2014)

Yeah, it would be pretty damn awkward though.


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## Findedeux (Mar 16, 2012)

Totally.


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## UnusualSuspect (Feb 24, 2014)

Not in a trillion years. You guys are ****ing crazy for saying yes. 
^
That is a satire of normies. Yeah, I would. It depends on so many factors, but SA is not an automatic deal breaker.


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## ZM5 (Sep 13, 2015)

Yeah, why the hell not.

Would probably be easier to relate to someone who also went through some **** that made them this way, than someone who claims to understand but has no real idea or field of reference.

Also would make it a lot easier to get out of it, I feel. Easier to make changes like this together than alone; of course it's not a magical "all your problems gone" solution like some seem to believe, it'd bring its own share of problems, but seems like a risk worth taking, imo.


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## regimes (Aug 24, 2011)

if i liked them, why not? we could relate.


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

If we moved in together and she never left the apartment it could feel a bit crowded :um

Of course I would though, our life styles would probably be much more compatible.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

It has some pros and cons. Someone without SA could handle the things in life I struggle with but I wouldn't rule someone out just because of it.


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## Torkani (Nov 9, 2012)

If we could actually get to the point where a relationship got flowing, dating someone with SA might actually be a positive, because then she might be more emphatic personality and she'd probably be less judgemental about my social failure then a normal girl would be. I wouldn't feel as pressured to hide stuff from her.


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## indielife (Jun 17, 2015)

That would actually be preferable. It would be much easier to empathize with them.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

She'd have to be working on it or else no. I'm already mess and I have done everything in the book to get better and I'm still a suicidal, depressing mess...but at least I try and according to everyone that's all that matters.

If she's bad enough we can do a suicide pact thing. Not like I care much for living.


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

I can imagine it would be a state of awkwardness in the beginning that we both would have to be willing to give time to get over. So it's probably less likely but would be easier to relate with each other if we ever got to that point.


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## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

Both my boyfriend and I have social anxiety. Through the years, we have helped each other to overcome our fears. So of course I would date someone with SA as long as they were working on dealing with their fears. If they wanted to wallow in it, it wouldn't work out.


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## Lelouch Lamperouge (May 13, 2013)

Only if she is willing to fight sa with me. Im not asking for victory just a partner in each others corner while life beats us down.

I could be her best friend and we can stay indoors and chill. Yes i would. SA fo lyf!


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## DistraughtOwl (Mar 1, 2014)

Most definitely.


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## That Random Guy (Jan 31, 2015)

*Hm..*

You put "had", which signifies past-tense, meaning they longer have SA.

Regardless, I would still go out with said person.

I feel I'd be able to connect with the person more easily, but that's just something I think. I've never dated someone nor have I been intimate with someone, so I wouldn't know.

Interesting topic however.

Thanks,

T.R.G.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

What about an insecure man with social anxiety?

(just woundering)


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

I just want someone I get along with.


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

If they were like-minded and treated me nicely.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

All that matters is that they can match at least 20% of the obsessive love and admiration I would shower them with daily.

SA or any other mental health issue be damned.


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

Had or has, they are just people, not a deal breaker, other things are.


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## Cletis (Oct 10, 2011)

Absolutely!


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Yes, if they had the same interests and values that I do.

Oh, and also, if they were willing to put up with my anxiety without taking it personally, and yet also work hard at keeping in touch with/communicating with me--else the relationship would be nothing but us both avoiding each other and feeling resentful about being avoided. (Obviously, I would hold myself to the same standards.)

They wouldn't necessarily have to be trying to recover or get better (I gave that up long ago), just be willing to work on the relationship and our communication itself. And yes, that means not being 100% negative, 100% of the time. I'm struggling hard not to fall into the pit; I can hardly handle trying to keep _another_ person from falling in, if they aren't going to help keep me from falling, too.

I've tried platonic friendships with people with severe SA. Doesn't tend to work well. Two like poles of magnets repelling each other. Both parties have to be willing to work on it, and I have yet to find such a person. I'm far better at being acquaintances with such people, to be honest. No high expectations, and less reason for disappointment.

I would perhaps do better with a person who's recovering from SA, but I don't think that they'd do well with me. Why would they want to?--when other girls are so much less work. :/


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## Ameenah (Mar 21, 2012)

No. I need someone to push me to go out and get better


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Is he going to ask me out?

Cause every shy guy I have met has had his tail inbetween his legs. 

If they learn how to grow a pair maybe but until then I have to go with the man who approaches me first cause shy girls don't ask people out.

Just the way the world spins darling


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

I don't think I could. Never say never. But I...just don't know lmao, not that I have to worry about anyone wanting to date me anyway. I'm f-ing undatable, like that tv show. I think it depends on where you're at in life, it depends on where you're at in recovery from this stuff. And I've been in a relationship that, well, ended just about as badly as you can imagine any relationship ever ending. She had a lot of stuff going on inside her head, and so did I. And we weren't able to help each other. And. I guess I just wasn't there for her like I should have been. And now she's gone. Forever.

I don't know if I want to ever get into another relationship with someone ever again, that has any kind of mental hangups at all. But that's really kind of hypocritical when you think about it. And, it leaves out most every woman on the planet. I'm not saying women are crazy. Not at all. I'm just saying I have enough crazy for both of us. Somebody has to have some sanity, somewhere.

If you've ever had to bury your bf or your gf because of suicide you will understand otherwise I don't think you ever will.

And you might run, as fast as you can from any relationship, with anyone with any kind of mental disorder. I have.


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

Yes. Bonus points if she's more bitter and cynical than me.


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## daniels2000 (Aug 24, 2014)

No I want to improve my own social anxiety so that would be counterproductive.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

I wouldn't date someone just because we had social anxiety in common, or find social anxiety was a "plus point" encouraging me to date someone. It's not really an important factor in whether someone understands you. People without SA can understand you, and people with SA can misunderstand you because yours doesn't manifest in the exact same way as theirs.

If someone I liked had social anxiety, I wouldn't be put off by it. It wouldn't be a factor to me. So yes, in that sense, I would date someone who had social anxiety.


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## Pixie3 (Sep 22, 2015)

Yes, definitely. We can support each other 😃


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## Findedeux (Mar 16, 2012)

calichick said:


> Is he going to ask me out?
> 
> Cause every shy guy I have met has had his tail inbetween his legs.
> 
> ...


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## modra (Nov 14, 2015)

In this world where I have never been on a date, and have officially given up any hope of that changing (and am not willing to try anymore), then No, but that's got nothing to do with her SA status.

Had I met her before giving up completely on the thought of ever having a date/girlfriend, her having Social Anxiety would not be a factor.


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

Am.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Yep, I don't mind.


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## The Starry night (May 23, 2015)

Already have a bf so no


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## MondKrabbe (Sep 7, 2015)

I don't think I could be good for her, if I found someone so probably not. I wouldn't mind being her friend and supporting her through SA, though.


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## AffinityWing (Aug 11, 2013)

It could be really difficult for the both of us, but I would be willing to try.


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

Hell no. I dig fun outgoing girls.


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## Charmeleon (Aug 5, 2010)

I'd consider it. I certainly wouldn't be compatible with someone who isn't trying to get better or can't leave the house tho.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Only if she willing to date a guy with social anxiety.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

calichick said:


> Is he going to ask me out?
> 
> Cause every shy guy I have met has had his tail inbetween his legs.
> 
> ...


Good luck with that. Ever since I saw you. You always talk about guys. I still don't understand why you're still single.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

visualkeirockstar said:


> Good luck with that. Ever since I saw you. You always talk about guys. I still don't understand why you're still single.


I am deathly shy.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

calichick said:


> I am deathly shy.


That's not even the problem. From what you post it seems like your standards are incredibly high and you act like only 0.00001% of men deserves you. Sorry I don't mean to offend or put you down.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

visualkeirockstar said:


> That's not even the problem. From what you post it seems like your standards are incredibly high and you act like only 0.00001% of men deserves you. Sorry I don't mean to offend or put you down.


My standards *are* incredibly high and only .0001% of men deserve me.

That is not the problem and will not be a compromising factor for me broski.

I have no problem with men. In fact, I would say I'm almost...lucky. Even though I complain a whole lot about two bit good for nothing's, besides that, I get good men. Good men, along with bad ones, in fact just about every type of man, but I've had some really good, drop-dead gorgeous, decent, good-willed men interested in me.

I am deathly shy and usually end up concealing any affection I have for them with icy cold contempt and then nothing becomes of it. My only hope is that one of them will have the patience to deal with an introverted woman and not give up on me.

I know that there is one out there. I know that there is one out there who will love me so much that nothing will stop him.


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## bluecrime (Jan 27, 2013)

Sure, but I don't think many girls would want to go out with a guy with who's never had any social life, no matter how hard he's trying to rebuild. That's a huge problem I'm having right now.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Assuming that they are working on improving themselves then yes. If you're voluntarily going to be stuck in a state of self-pitying and have a special-snowflake attitude thinking that you're above all "normies", well nice knowing you...


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## uziq (Apr 9, 2012)

acidicwithpanic said:


> Assuming that they are working on improving themselves then yes. If you're voluntarily going to be stuck in a state of self-pitying and have a special-snowflake attitude thinking that you're above all "normies", well nice knowing you...


pretty much this

though i would be surprised to see that kind of mentality in a girl (the attitude about "normies" i mean,) but the rest is applicable


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

common interest would be interesting & inspiring


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## Rodrigo R (Aug 19, 2015)

Yes, in fact I have some fetish to depressed/SA/low-self esteem girls


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

The questions are "somewhat different"

1. Would anyone who has social anxiety date me? (Probably not. Even if they thought my hideous looks are acceptable they wouldn't like me much once they got to really know me)

2. Could I deal with a real relationship? No. Everything would be fine until I locked myself in a small bathroom with a laptop and a week's worth of snacks. I'd expect them to go on as if nothing happened when I came back out a week later. This cycle of disappearing for days and resurfacing for a brief period would continue indefinitely. Who would live with that?

3. Would anyone want someone who doesn't work, never really has and never has any plans to? Maybe if I was a real catch in the looks department and maybe if I wasn't quite so much of a loner. Otherwise, no. Nobody wants to put up with that. The only reason my parents put up with it is because they're my parents.

4. Would anyone put up with someone who has a relatively short fuse and just shuts down when they get pissed off? Seriously. If there's an argument, it ends as soon as I get really upset and you won't hear from me for days. 

5. Would anyone really put up with someone who doesn't even want to exist? I'm not suicidal. I'm just not really thrilled to be here.

No. I wouldn't inflict myself on someone who has social anxiety.


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## 3r10n (Aug 29, 2014)

Definitely yes.


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## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

if he were a genuinely decent person and had values and goals that are in line with mine, i would.

the way i see it, the problem with a lot of SA guys is that they are overly pessimistic/nihilistic, and their thinking is warped - likely due to past experiences and/or just general shelteredness and social isolation. and the fact that so many of them seem to take that in stride and just normalize it actually freaks me out a little bit. i mean yea it's good to have your individuality and all, but at the end of the day you still require a healthy dose of normalcy to make it through this mad mad world alive. if doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is the definition of lunacy, then taking pride in that act can only mean that you've relinquished yourself to the lunatic spirit. and you can say all you want to try and convince me otherwise but uhhh.. that's not a good thing!!!!

i've never really thought of SA as a 'commonality' between myself and other people; it's not something you choose to have, and you shouldn't allow it to define you in any way shape or form. we all have personalities despite our respective handicaps, and that's what i really care about.


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## nothing else (Oct 27, 2013)

Sure. Why not.


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## Shawn81 (Jul 9, 2014)

Absolutely. We could avoid the world together. I'm fine with that.


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## cosmicslop (Nov 24, 2012)

Well....I guess just as long they're someone who's proactive in working on managing their social anxiety and don't see me as crutches for them to cling onto. I'm at a part of my life where I'm really focusing on getting better, and a large part is changing the way how I think. I can't be with someone who's negative most of the time because that kind of attitude will surely influence me for the worse. It could lead to us being both meshed together in a toxic relationship where we feed off each other's depression, bitterness, and anxiety. That sounds so horrible. Sounds like this site. Otherwise I'd honestly be with someone more mentally well-adjusted so I could have a better chance of having a healthy and stable relationship, and as a result a clearer state of mind. But I chose No anyway.


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## CristianNC (Jun 24, 2012)

Yes, that's a plus in my book, but we'd both have to be positive about improving one another because, like cosmicslop mentioned, getting in a toxic relationship with SA is just horrible and you'll end up feeding on each other's misery.


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## neckbeard (Jun 23, 2014)

My preferred type would be someone who is slightly shy, but I wouldn't mind dating someone with severe social anxiety...


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