# Can you tell if a person has never been in a relationship?



## EternallyRestless (Jul 19, 2011)

I was reading a post on another site where a girl claimed that her sister said that you can tell when someone has never had a bf/gf. Like it's a vibe they give off. Do you guys think this is true?

On another note, someone I work with was surprised when I said I wasn't a virgin, so I guess I did come across as a virgin after all =(


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

I don't think anyone can tell. It's not like people who are in relationship have mastered anything.


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## AxeDroid (Jan 11, 2013)

I don't thinks people can tell.


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## Justlittleme (Oct 21, 2013)

*You can't tell.*

being surprised about being a virgin is nothing to be upset about. getting told you look 14 when you are 20 is startling (my issue). Well, you can't tell and that girl must've been crazy I am guessing.


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## licorice (Oct 5, 2013)

I think if anything it's seeming fidgety or uncertain around the opposite sex or when talk of sex comes up. I don't think there's actually something that marks a virgin as a virgin.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

You can tell by the scarlet "V" branded upon their chest.

(But no you cannot tell).


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## VakarineMy (Oct 1, 2013)

Er, no. I knew someone who had never been in a relationship. I had no idea until I was told.


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## licorice (Oct 5, 2013)

Barette said:


> You can tell by the scarlet "V" branded upon their chest.
> 
> (But no you cannot tell).


I would assume a superhero.


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## Stilla (May 13, 2009)

I do think that you can tell sometimes.


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## Kalliber (Aug 18, 2012)

Balony! They can't


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## pumaa (Oct 2, 2013)

Depends often if you're with a friend or in a group and someone is talking about their gf/bf or ex other people will interject with similar things about their relationships or past ones to relate to them, oh and when friends/acquaintances are asking for relationship advice.

also i think being a virgin can be very obvious if you say that you've never been in a relationship, and when your friends talk about sex, girls want all the details and again usually relate to each other about sexual things things or stories that have happened to them i.e this guy i once has sex with bla bla so if you don't ever say anything it can leave them wondering.

that doesn't go for everyone but it's society's way of thinking ,I'm much more of an internal person and never talk about sex or relationships except sometimes with my best friend.


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## LoungeFly (Jun 25, 2011)

No, they cannot. I can't even recall how many times people have asked me the age of my kids, or say something like "oh, she looks so much like her mom" when I'd have one of my nieces somewhere. So, many people have thought I'd had children. I've been asked about boyfriends/husbands before. 

Now, I will say, one guy I talked with "figured" out I was in fact a virgin by his own little ways. When I asked him how he figured it out he said it was by things I didn't say, and once he asked me when the last time I had sex was, and I told him I couldn't remember. That, coupled with things I "didn't say" lead him to that conclusion. He assured me that most people would not be able to tell just based on seeing me or talking with me.


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

Definitely don't think there's any vibe, but you can tell by the way some people talk about relationships. It all sounds way too idealistic and like the plot of some romance movie; real life and real relationships can be quite harsh at times.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

On this forum some people's ideas of about how dating works is funny. I recall one person saying that for meeting a potential hookup there definitely would be no talking. He had it in his mind that they'd just meet at each others house and have sex. No meeting in public, getting to know each other, nothing. Because of course it's all about sex, so why would they talk? :haha

And many have it in their head that women are either after hookups or relationships. That you can't be open to both. Or that when you have a one night stand that you always have some sort of discussion and agree that this will only be a one night stand. :no Very black and white thinking....

I think people also imagine that everything can be talked out. Whatever problem there is in a relationship, if you just discuss it, the issue will be solved. ummmm....doesn't really work that way.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Yea. It's obvious if they're awkward, ugly, and anxious that they probably haven't.


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

No. I bet that person THINKS she can read it, but she'd probably be wrong in most cases. The least suspecting people might turn out to be the biggest players (the quietest girl I've ever met for example turned out to have had a dozen or so boyfriends by age 15). It's quite an arrogant statement to just say "Oh, I know he/she has never been with anyone, because...." Although, I do think there are signs that someone is inexperienced with the opposite sex, like if they generally only hang out with their own gender and are a bit of a loner (like myself).


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## theCARS1979 (Apr 26, 2010)

EternallyRestless said:


> I was reading a post on another site where a girl claimed that her sister said that you can tell when someone has never had a bf/gf. Like it's a vibe they give off. Do you guys think this is true?
> 
> On another note, someone I work with was surprised when I said I wasn't a virgin, so I guess I did come across as a virgin after all =(


Uh I f***ing hope not, cause its been 13 years for me and the two I had was really brief. Since then I had no luck at all , as if this whole thing is some kind of curse


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## theCARS1979 (Apr 26, 2010)

Justlittleme said:


> being surprised about being a virgin is nothing to be upset about. getting told you look 14 when you are 20 is startling (my issue). Well, you can't tell and that girl must've been crazy I am guessing.


Your going to love the younger look when you do get a little older though : ) Look at Avril Lavigne, she still looks hot , beautiful and cute and the same for 11 yrs. I was able to do it myself too , cause Im 39 and look 27 as well. They key is not to smoke cigarettes and stay out of the sun. If you want to talk , write me


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

Yes

you can just tell by looking at people, a guy at work said he knew I'd never had a girlfriend by the vibe I give off.


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## AmandaMarie87 (Apr 24, 2013)

I sure hope not.


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## theCARS1979 (Apr 26, 2010)

if this is true, im f**ked
Who knows if they care when my last relationship was but in a way they probably think it's not good cause of course who doesn't have social anxiety doesn't understand the concept.


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## Anxietyriddled (Jan 5, 2013)

Of course. If some one is akward or confused about the opposite sex, it's only common sense to assume they probably lack experience. Sex causes mental and physiological changes to happen to the person. I can some times tell if a person has lots of sex just by looking them. They get a certain look about them, it's hard to explain. What ever emotions/sensations you experience gradually change your facial expression.


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## sunnytroll (Nov 15, 2013)

You cannot tell. I have a really awkward coworker who cannot make eye contact and he has children. Another man I know is totally normal, but has never had a relationship and is still a virgin. There is no telling.


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## Whatev (Feb 6, 2012)

Some people do give off a certain vibe which makes people assume but doesn't mean they're always right.


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## BillDauterive (Oct 24, 2012)

This very attractive young woman in her early 30s who had kids from a previous relationship actually thought that I was married and had children of my own. :sus

This is from a guy who has never even been on a date, never gotten a kiss (not even on the cheeks), nor even held hands with a girl. 

I guess I was supposed to feel honored that I could fool her so readily? :idea


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

BillDautrieve said:


> This very attractive young woman in her early 30s who had kids from a previous relationship actually thought that I was married and had children of my own. :sus
> 
> This is from a guy who has never even been on a date, never gotten a kiss (not even on the cheeks), nor even held hands with a girl.
> 
> I guess I was supposed to feel honored that I could fool her so readily? :idea


How old are you? It does weird me out when people ask if I have kids.


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## nothing else (Oct 27, 2013)

I'm assuming when they see me they just think I haven't lol


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## BillDauterive (Oct 24, 2012)

komorikun said:


> How old are you? It does weird me out when people ask if I have kids.


Mid to late 20s. :blank:bah

Eh..........


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

Yes. I have been on a few dates and at some point girls would kind of tell that I don't have much experience. Usually by how I act. I don't think I act weird per se, just not overly confident or manly I guess. Or maybe its that I don't bring up sex often so I seem inexperience and not a man in control. Who knows. Sometimes I wish they'd tell me so I can work on it, other times I know its one of those things that by going into detail will flare up my SA and I'd ruin things. Well ruin them quicker at least.

Whenever a girl makes reference to it I just blow it off by telling them the truth but making it seem like I just haven't found the right girl.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Yes, people have told me that they know I'm a virgin, without me telling them.


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## EternallyRestless (Jul 19, 2011)

Jesuszilla said:


> Whenever a girl makes reference to it I just blow it off by telling them the truth but making it seem like I just haven't found the right girl.


Don't tell girls the truth if you want a second date.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

I don't know. I used to think so. Back home, people seemed instinctively to know that I'd never had any experience whatsoever, even when I was trying to lie by omission and imply that I had. But at university, I've had a few girls assume that I was _more experienced than them_, when in reality it couldn't be more the opposite. I really don't know what to think any more.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

EternallyRestless said:


> Don't tell girls the truth if you want a second date.


Your the first female to say that.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

I've found it kind of fun implying that I have a sordid love life when I don't. It's not lying, I'm just playing around with my own history or image to people that it doesn't matter to. It's kind of exciting, to fabricate a history every once and a while. I feel without a history, so it's entertaining. I only do it when the subject of a love life comes up. My life's boring so I'm spicing it up a bit.


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## EternallyRestless (Jul 19, 2011)

Jesuszilla said:


> Your the first female to say that.


I mean I myself wouldn't have a problem with an inexperienced guy, but that's because I'm not a "normal" girl. A "normal" girl with a "normal" level of experience would probably have no time for an inexperienced guy. And it works the other way too, I went after an inexperienced guy because I knew that an experienced guy would probably have no time for me.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

EternallyRestless said:


> I mean I myself wouldn't have a problem with an inexperienced guy, but that's because I'm not a "normal" girl. A "normal" girl with a "normal" level of experience would probably have no time for an inexperienced guy. And it works the other way too, I went after an inexperienced guy because I knew that an experienced guy would probably have no time for me.


Fair point. I agree. As much as I want to delude myself into thinking girls don't care _that_ much, they do its a huge turn off so I might as well accept it.


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## zstandig (Sep 21, 2013)

It's an awfully presumptuous assertion.


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## riderless (Jul 21, 2013)

Symptoms include

-hands trembling at the mention of the word "sex"
-guys staring at cleavage instead of eye to eye
-stuttering "would you be interested in a rrrrrrelllationshshship?"
-always have their legs covered up
-often refer to fiction relationships from the past
-''just waiting for the right person"
-"got too busy with work"

sorry,don't mean to be offensive, all in fun


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

EternallyRestless said:


> I mean I myself wouldn't have a problem with an inexperienced guy, but that's because I'm not a "normal" girl. A "normal" girl with a "normal" level of experience would probably have no time for an inexperienced guy. And it works the other way too, I went after an inexperienced guy because I knew that an experienced guy would probably have no time for me.


You are normal, having anxiety diesn't make you not normal.

can I put your quote in my signature?


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

Jesuszilla said:


> Fair point. I agree. As much as I want to delude myself into thinking girls don't care _that_ much, they do its a huge turn off so I might as well accept it.


This is the problem, some people on here drlude themselves into thinking that experienced girls and guys dont care about this sort of thing but thats not true. I think some people are afraid of admitting to it. Its like I know I'll never lose it cos I've got no sexual experience and im 22, im ashamed as im a man and thers guys who have had tonnes of exoerience yet I haven't and its way too late now.


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## EternallyRestless (Jul 19, 2011)

Rich91 said:


> You are normal, having anxiety diesn't make you not normal.
> 
> can I put your quote in my signature?


Sure, why not lol


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Jesuszilla said:


> Fair point. I agree. As much as I want to delude myself into thinking girls don't care _that_ much, they do its a huge turn off so I might as well accept it.


You need to get off the internet for a while, especially this website. You seem like a decent guy, but this site is slowly turning you into a toxic sludgeform every hour you stay on here reading dumb posts by people who sit around hating the world and being caustic. Do not let that happen. It kind of ensures you'll be alone and miserable and bitter like so many people on here perpetually are because they fall into this mindset that turns them antisocial and makes them hate people and therefore they can't connect with people and it's a cycle of destruction. Nothing good comes of that.


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## EternallyRestless (Jul 19, 2011)

diamondheart89 said:


> You seem like a decent guy, but this site is slowly turning you into a toxic sludgeform every hour you stay on here reading dumb posts by people who sit around hating the world and being caustic.


I hate the world because I said something realistic?


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

diamondheart89 said:


> You need to get off the internet for a while, especially this website. You seem like a decent guy, but this site is slowly turning you into a toxic sludgeform every hour you stay on here reading dumb posts by people who sit around hating the world and being caustic. Do not let that happen. It kind of ensures you'll be alone and miserable and bitter like so many people on here perpetually are because they fall into this mindset that turns them antisocial and makes them hate people and therefore they can't connect with people and it's a cycle of destruction. Nothing good comes of that.


There are some realistic things that are said on here tgat are actually true. I've been out in the real world and heard people say pretty much what people say on here.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

diamondheart89 said:


> You need to get off the internet for a while, especially this website. You seem like a decent guy, but this site is slowly turning you into a toxic sludgeform every hour you stay on here reading dumb posts by people who sit around hating the world and being caustic. Do not let that happen. It kind of ensures you'll be alone and miserable and bitter like so many people on here perpetually are because they fall into this mindset that turns them antisocial and makes them hate people and therefore they can't connect with people and it's a cycle of destruction. Nothing good comes of that.


Well it was something in my personal life that pushed me over the edge the last few days. I admit that a lot of my bitter comments have been out of anger towards myself and the world around me. I understand it poorly reflects my character here but it was just how I was feeling at the time.

I was lonely and miserable long before coming here though. I see what you're saying I do feel I am "getting worse" so to speak and reading all of these depressing comments when I'm way below rock bottom isn't helping at all.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

EternallyRestless said:


> I hate the world because I said something realistic?


Wasn't talking to you so don't know why you think it has anything to do with you. 


Rich91 said:


> There are some realistic things that are said on here tgat are actually true. I've been out in the real world and heard people say pretty much what people say on here.


No, there are things you think are true, based on personal experiences with a limited number of people, they aren't objective facts. There is a big difference. A bunch of people talking about something does not, in fact, make it true. Especially when that bunch of people have a similar axe to grind. That's how stormfront works too. Also, your posts seem to be aimed at mostly blaming other people for not giving you stuff you feel you deserve and are entitled to. It's natural to feel depressed if you aren't successful at forming relationships, but when you start demonizing everyone because of that, you have bigger problems. You've pretty much shown no respect for other people's feelings or situations in your posts (like attacking abuse victims because you think they purposefully choose abusive guys over people like you) while taking for granted that other people should show you empathy and decency. Why do you think you are entitled to something you are unwilling to show to others in your thought process? It's the "everyone should be nice to me but I don't give a sh1t about them unless they're boosting my ego" syndrome. Perhaps you aren't really like that and this is just frustration talking but this is what comes across as what type of person you are. And what's showing isn't worthy of respect or empathy. 


Jesuszilla said:


> Well it was something in my personal life that pushed me over the edge the last few days. I admit that a lot of my bitter comments have been out of anger towards myself and the world around me. I understand it poorly reflects my character here but it was just how I was feeling at the time.
> 
> I was lonely and miserable long before coming here though. I see what you're saying I do feel I am "getting worse" so to speak and reading all of these depressing comments when I'm way below rock bottom isn't helping at all.


Been there, done that. Coming here when you already feel angry at the world is the worst thing you can do. You see everything that seemingly confirms your worst thoughts (because those things stand out to your radar more because frankly, you're expecting to see them since they validate your anger at the world) and it skews your mind and makes you feel even worse.


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

diamondheart89 said:


> Wasn't talking to you so don't know why you think it has anything to do with you.
> 
> No, there are things you think are true, based on personal experiences with a limited number of people, they aren't objective facts. There is a big difference. A bunch of people talking about something does not, in fact, make it true. Especially when that bunch of people have a similar axe to grind. That's how stormfront works too. Also, your posts seem to be aimed at mostly blaming other people for not giving you stuff you feel you deserve and are entitled to. It's natural to feel depressed if you aren't successful at forming relationships, but when you start demonizing everyone because of that, you have bigger problems. You've pretty much shown no respect for other people's feelings or situations in your posts (like attacking abuse victims because you think they purposefully choose abusive guys over people like you) while taking for granted that other people should show you empathy and decency. Why do you think you are entitled to something you are unwilling to show to others in your thought process? It's the "everyone should be nice to me but I don't give a sh1t about them unless they're boosting my ego" syndrome. Perhaps you aren't really like that and this is just frustration talking but this is what comes across as what type of person you are. And what's showing isn't worthy of respect or empathy.


I dont want people to show me empathy and I never said I deserve anything or anyone, its usually quite the opposite. You're right about one thing though and I'll admit this, I genuinely dont care much for other peoples feelings even though I sometimes shouldn't be this way, I cant be anything else cos I dont know how to. I dont have much emotion, im quite hard on myself but I have reason to be, im quite hard on others sometimes as well and thats because I hate myself. I've been humiliated and bullied all my life so naturally I am quite bitter and its ****ed me up a lot in terms of confidence, self esteem and emotions. I dont agree that other people should get bullied, in fact I hate hearing about it because its horrible. I tend to be hostile towards people at times but I dont mean it, I just act that way cos im not happy and I feel **** all the time. I do call people I know but who doesn't?

Im not happy with the way you've made me out to be some kind of demon though, you're out of order for that.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Rich91 said:


> I dont want people to show me empathy and I never said I deserve anything or anyone, its usually quite the opposite. You're right about one thing though and I'll admit this, I genuinely dont care much for other peoples feelings even though I sometimes shouldn't be this way, I cant be anything else cos I dont know how to. I dont have much emotion, im quite hard on myself but I have reason to be, im quite hard on others sometimes as well and thats because I hate myself. I've been humiliated and bullied all my life so naturally I am quite bitter and its ****ed me up a lot in terms of confidence, self esteem and emotions. I dont agree that other people should get bullied, in fact I hate hearing about it because its horrible. I tend to be hostile towards people at times but I dont mean it, I just act that way cos im not happy and I feel **** all the time. I do call people I know but who doesn't?
> 
> Im not happy with the way you've made me out to be some kind of demon though, you're out of order for that.


I never said you were a demon, I don't know you. I specifically stated you are probably just frustrated. I'm just trying to get you to understand that you make angry comments about people and groups on this forum, and there are people who fit those characteristics here, who probably feel like sh1t when they see your posts. You don't like being perceived as a demon, and *neither do other people*.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

The "_no relationship experience_" thing isn't noticeable, by itself. What matters is the _reason_ why you've never been in a relationship, and what kinds of traits go along with that reason.

Social awkwardness would be one of those traits... People can usually tell if you're socially awkward, and based on that, they may come to the conclusion that you've never been in a relationship. This is especially so if your social awkwardness is combined with certain other traits, like if you're goofy-looking or of very low intelligence.



EternallyRestless said:


> A "normal" girl with a "normal" level of experience would probably have no time for an inexperienced guy. And it works the other way too, I went after an inexperienced guy because I knew that an experienced guy would probably have no time for me.


This is a generalization. Inexperience, by itself, might be a hangup for some people (everyone has their hangups), but for most, I'd say it's more to do with how they carry themselves, how they carry their (lack of) experience, and _why_ they have no experience.

Brush it off, tell white lies if you need to, give off vibes of confidence, and you'll get along just fine, with or without experience.


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

diamondheart89 said:


> I never said you were a demon, I don't know you. I specifically stated you are probably just frustrated. I'm just trying to get you to understand that you make angry comments about people and groups on this forum, and there are people who fit those characteristics here, who probably feel like sh1t when they see your posts. You don't like being perceived as a demon, and *neither do other people*.


This forum in general is negative hence why I get frustrated and make the posts I do. I dont purposely upset people and I think you know that. I dont perceive other people here as demons, I just say what I feel and think. Obviously this is not the place for it but its so easy to get caught in the negativeness of this forum but so hard to get out of.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Rich91 said:


> This forum in general is negative hence why I get frustrated and make the posts I do. I dont purposely upset people and I think you know that. I dont perceive other people here as demons, I just say what I feel and think. Obviously this is not the place for it but its so easy to get caught in the negativeness of this forum but so hard to get out of.


I agree, that's why I told Jesuszilla the exact same thing, that hanging around a bunch of other people who are just as frustrated will only make you feel worse and hate the world more and make your issues seem even more impossible-seeming.


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

diamondheart89 said:


> I agree, that's why I told Jesuszilla the exact same thing, that hanging around a bunch of other people who are just as frustrated will only make you feel worse and hate the world more and make your issues seem even more impossible-seeming.


I know that too well.

The thing is I dont have friends or anything so im just on here all the time as I have nothing else to do.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Rich91 said:


> I know that too well.
> 
> The thing is I dont have friends or anything so im just on here all the time as I have nothing else to do.


Try joining a gym or some sort of group classes if you can that will give you a link to people. The world usually doesn't seem AS bad in a group as it seems when you're sitting by yourself.


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

diamondheart89 said:


> Try joining a gym or some sort of group classes if you can that will give you a link to people. The world usually doesn't seem AS bad in a group as it seems when you're sitting by yourself.


yeah I want to. Can you actually make friends through doing this though?

Wouldn't people find it weird if they figured out I had no friends.


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