# Does Working In A Call Center or IT Support Improve Social Skills?



## CaptainPeanuts (Oct 29, 2015)

So, honestly, I only come back on the forum to read up on the latest news on SA, because I've mostly overcome my SA. But, I still tend to be awkward, socially. I really wish there was a way to fix this. 

So I thought about Talk Therapy, and I mean, talking for a few hours a day in a job or online. I thought about doing a telemarketer job, and I thought about using my PS4 to talk online with people, but people tend to be bullies online. Then I thought about using Omegle. 

And let me just say, that for the record, I used to be a very social guy. I would talk to people all the time at school, without having anxiety before I talk. People call me "shy" right now, though I do tend to talk more than the average person with SA. I just miss that spark I used to have, and the loss of enjoyment in talking is called Anhedonia. It has a name, finally. 

Has anyone here tried this and does it help substantially?. If you have tried Talk Therapy, in what ways has it helped you?.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I dunno if cbt counts as talk therapy but it didn't help me. I guess you just mean talking to people online I don't know. Depends on the people you're talking to probably. Talking to people who don't understand you at all doesn't help ime.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

You mean exposure therapy by talking to people? 'Talk Therapy' is generally used to refer to having sessions with a therapist, not talking to non-therapists. Your therapist may initiate some kind of exposure therapy and give you homework assignments that include talking to other people, ofc, but not all talk therapy involves exposure therapy.

I have done both talk therapy with a therapist and 'exposure therapy,' in the sense that I spent 13 years in retail, 50 hours a week, talking to people in a fairly high-pressure sales environment. The exposure didn't do anything to reduce my anxiety, though it did pretty much destroy my health. But my problems are a bit different from most people's.

Some people do seem to overcome at least some of their anxiety by regularly interacting with people. I think it really depends on the types of problems you have, so I don't think you can generalize from one person's experiences to another person's. If you can find people who are understanding of your particular problems it probably helps; if you can't, it might make things worse. It probably helps to have a good grasp of CBT if you're not doing it in conjunction with a therapist.

Mental health seems to depend largely on: (a) your ability to be yourself (ie. to not have to hide things from other people, to act on your authentic desires), (b) understanding, accepting, and valuing yourself, and (c) being understood, accepted, and valued by other people. It's extremely hard to be healthy when you're deficient in any of these areas. At least, that's how it seems to me after a couple decades of reading about psychotherapy.

A lot of people struggle with (b) if they don't get any (c) because our self-evaluations are heavily influenced by the evaluations of other people. (This is also why bullying can destroy a person's mental health.) Talking to an understanding therapist (ie. Talk Therapy) can be useful for some people (you can get some (c)) but it takes time and most people can't afford extended therapy. Talking to my therapist helps me because I've never been able to talk about my problems with another person IRL. But I wouldn't say it's made a substantial difference yet. It helps to keep me going but hasn't helped me resolve any of my problems.


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## mere phantom (Dec 16, 2003)

No, absolutely not.

CBT and ACT are the 2 forms of counseling that are considered to help deal with Social Anxiety.

With the pandemic, counselors are now willing to work online. So odds are you can find a specialist in CBT, ACT or better yet just get someone that really knows Social Anxiety or Anxiety in general. Many say they understand SA, but fact is they usually dont. Best way to know is if that is their primary focus in patients. A general counselor will just waste your time for the most part. Also some counselors websites willl list they treat everything under the sun, but again, look for ones that just focus on anxiety or social anxiety. If you have none in your state or that your insurance will cover, then you can branch out to specialists in CBT or ACT.

Talk therapy won't do crap for you but make you relive stuff over and over.


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## CantGoOn (May 19, 2021)

For people with real, tangible problems... no. Therapy won’t work.

For people without real problems, yes it will work since those people only need to change their mindset and that’s it.

The only way to help people with real problems is to provide affordable housing, healthcare, education, and job opportunities.


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## Sainnot (Feb 6, 2021)

It doesn’t matter how much I talk to someone I still want to be alone and I will do anything I have to to isolate myself from others. I only go to work because I need money to afford rent and other essentials otherwise I would never go anywhere.


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## CaptainPeanuts (Oct 29, 2015)

Hey guys, sorry for the late reply, ok I guess this is actually "Exposure Therapy", but I am telling you guys it does help. I remember the days when I first got SA, I could barely speak, on the phone and in person. I lost that ability to speak freely and fast, and confidently, you all know what I mean. 

But I believe you can change brain chemistry even if your in your 30s.

Thank you guys for so much for all the replies, I didn't think this thread would get that much attention. 

I am thinking either starting a job as a tech support agent or just spending an hour a day chatting on omegle. I think the hour a day option is best, and on my days off I'll make it 3 hours or something, and not while drunk either. 

I'll update you guys here after a few months if any of this has made a difference yet. 

I have talked to people who work in Tech Support and they have said that it does improve your social skills. I dont know how much on a scale of 1 to 10 but if they say it's "better" than usual, I can say that it's worth trying. I am a person who does not give up and I keep pushing myself to do better every day. I am not going to remain sounding like an uneducated loser like what my parents think of me now.


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## 8888 (Oct 16, 2014)

I haven't done exposure therapy for social anxiety but I've done it for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and it really helped me with that. So I do think it helps anxiety disorders in general.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

It kinda did for me but it all came tumbling down the first time something really unexpected happened. Like you can kind of ease yourself up and up and up until you're just about even with everyone else on the types of things you can cope with. And that's what I had done. Just baby steps (you know?). I was doing well (thought I was). But this was because I never really had to deal with anything I couldn't handle. I just couldn't handle literally everything at once when I wasn't ready for it.

So then something eventually happened that was off the charts and the consequences of it pretty much erased everything I had done up to that point (years worth).


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

CantGoOn said:


> For people with real, tangible problems... no. Therapy won’t work.
> 
> For people without real problems, yes it will work since those people only need to change their mindset and that’s it.
> 
> The only way to help people with real problems is to provide affordable housing, healthcare, education, and job opportunities.


Define "real problems."


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## either/or (Apr 27, 2020)

I feel like exposure therapy would just reinforce a person's pre-existing anxiety. I've never tried it but I feel like it could make matters worse.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

I think its a double edge sword. It works if the experience yields you positive results, so it motivates you and it's a positive reinforcement for you do keep going to try to improve. But if it yields negative results, it will only make your anxiety worse. So you completely stop trying and it only makes you have even more fear and phobia is stronger than before. I think the key to exposure therapy really is to make sure you're approaching it the right way and slowly and gradually. And do so with an attitude where you do not go in expecting its either great success or total fail. But since most people in fact do not know how to approach exposure therapy correctly and they do so without professional guidance, usually it's more often counterproductive than it is productive. On top of most who try it, are likely already in a sensitive and vulnerable state. Likely they will run into constant ups and downs, encouragements and discouragements, this is usually not good for an already sensitive emotional state.


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## CaptainPeanuts (Oct 29, 2015)

Blue Dino said:


> I think its a double edge sword. It works if the experience yields you positive results, so it motivates you and it's a positive reinforcement for you do keep going to try to improve. But if it yields negative results, it will only make your anxiety worse. So you completely stop trying and it only makes you have even more fear and phobia is stronger than before. I think the key to exposure therapy really is to make sure you're approaching it the right way and slowly and gradually. And do so with an attitude where you do not go in expecting its either great success or total fail. But since most people in fact do not know how to approach exposure therapy correctly and they do so without professional guidance, usually it's more often counterproductive than it is productive. On top of most who try it, are likely already in a sensitive and vulnerable state. Likely they will run into constant ups and downs, encouragements and discouragements, this is usually not good for an already sensitive emotional state.


I really appreciate your aspect but let me just add one thing. You only live once, and if there was a chance, just one chance, to make things better, would you take it or leave it?. I've had positive results from practicing with talking to people (any yes its embarrassing to look at it in that kind of way), but, with the progress that I have made, I want to make things better. I am not looking at things from a perspective while not having made progress already. I've made lots of progress and I want to progress further into practicing social skills. Get what I mean?. I am not just saying that I sound like an idiot and I want to improve things, I've made a massive improvement already from Exposure Therapy and I want to improve things even more. 

Reading what I have to say means nothing. You would have to sit down with me and talk about things before you really knew where I was in terms of social progress. Yeah, people might say I come across as weird and the most part, awkward. But this is almost the best I can do and I know I can do better. 

For those of you right now who refuse to talk on the phone, who refuse to speak to people because their afraid, I have to say there is hope for a better life, socially, you just have to work on yourself. Everyones path to personal success is different. I was once at this point, at the very bottom, not knowing what SA was and not knowing what the heck happened to me. 

Anyways, thats all I got for now. I just wanted to share that because there are alot of hopeless people here saying it wont work, etc. I completely disagree with that. I'll be changing the title to something else to attract more successful people that have worked in IT support and or other call centers, then we'll get to read more aspects from real people.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

CaptainPeanuts said:


> I really appreciate your aspect but let me just add one thing. You only live once, and if there was a chance, just one chance, to make things better, would you take it or leave it?. I've had positive results from practicing with talking to people (any yes its embarrassing to look at it in that kind of way), but, with the progress that I have made, I want to make things better. I am not looking at things from a perspective while not having made progress already. I've made lots of progress and I want to progress further into practicing social skills. Get what I mean?. I am not just saying that I sound like an idiot and I want to improve things, I've made a massive improvement already from Exposure Therapy and I want to improve things even more.
> 
> Reading what I have to say means nothing. You would have to sit down with me and talk about things before you really knew where I was in terms of social progress. Yeah, people might say I come across as weird and the most part, awkward. But this is almost the best I can do and I know I can do better.
> 
> ...


Yeah that's my point. It works for some and not for others. If it works for you, keep at it, and keep pushing it further and further to improve. That's the general basis of exposure therapy from what I understand.


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## CaptainPeanuts (Oct 29, 2015)

Blue Dino said:


> Yeah that's my point. It works for some and not for others. If it works for you, keep at it, and keep pushing it further and further to improve. That's the general basis of exposure therapy from what I understand.


Thanks man I appreciate it. I really do believe in everyone going through SA can do better, but every is different.

Still hoping someone that has worked in IT or in a call center can give us an update on your social skills progress. If no one steps up I will just have to do it myself. Thanks again, and cheers.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

I think this kind of thing might improve your "social skills" (whatever those are) but just having good social skills won't make anxiety go away. I used to be really really good with people as far as being able to talk to just about anyone and make them feel comfortable and so forth. Can't really do that anymore but I also had plenty of anxiety at the time. I was just really good at hiding it. So it was only helpful in the sense that I knew (rationally) that those people had no idea what was going on in my head. Even if inside my head, my irrational fears and cynicism were fighting a never-ending battle with the rational knowledge of that.


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## CaptainPeanuts (Oct 29, 2015)

WillYouStopDave said:


> I think this kind of thing might improve your "social skills" (whatever those are) but just having good social skills won't make anxiety go away. I used to be really really good with people as far as being able to talk to just about anyone and make them feel comfortable and so forth. Can't really do that anymore but I also had plenty of anxiety at the time. I was just really good at hiding it. So it was only helpful in the sense that I knew (rationally) that those people had no idea what was going on in my head. Even if inside my head, my irrational fears and cynicism were fighting a never-ending battle with the rational knowledge of that.


I guess for me it's just been a learning process to _adjust_ my anxiety ways to talking with people. It's almost like we have to learn to be social instead of it being automatic anymore. It's the people who are "social butterflies" that tend to be bullies over us. Thats just my opinion. So, I tend to drink alot when around these kinds of people. I dont know if there will ever be a cure for SA in 1000 years from now. I probably won't be alive when the announcement happens.


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## hypestyle (Nov 12, 2003)

CaptainPeanuts said:


> So, honestly, I only come back on the forum to read up on the latest news on SA, because I've mostly overcome my SA. But, I still tend to be awkward, socially. I really wish there was a way to fix this.
> 
> So I thought about Talk Therapy, and I mean, talking for a few hours a day in a job or online. I thought about doing a telemarketer job, and I thought about using my PS4 to talk online with people, but people tend to be bullies online. Then I thought about using Omegle.
> 
> ...


I've worked "front desk" jobs in the past and currently, where I'm expected to route phone calls as they come in. some days are busier than others. I'd say it might give you general practice, with the understanding that these are people on the phone and you don't see a face and they're not in person. I do have to deal with walk -in people as well. So you have to treat visitors with respect, which is not a problem.
I don't know if it has helped dramatically, but It hasn't hurt.
One stressful aspect is when people who are angry, mentally ill, or upset in some capacity, as well as certain crank callers. _That_ aspect becomes extremely draining and frustrating. some people like to drone on and on and it's bizarre and soul-sucking.


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## CaptainPeanuts (Oct 29, 2015)

hypestyle said:


> I've worked "front desk" jobs in the past and currently, where I'm expected to route phone calls as they come in. some days are busier than others. I'd say it might give you general practice, with the understanding that these are people on the phone and you don't see a face and they're not in person. I do have to deal with walk -in people as well. So you have to treat visitors with respect, which is not a problem.
> I don't know if it has helped dramatically, but It hasn't hurt.
> One stressful aspect is when people who are angry, mentally ill, or upset in some capacity, as well as certain crank callers. _That_ aspect becomes extremely draining and frustrating. some people like to drone on and on and it's bizarre and soul-sucking.


It’s definitely good practice!, hands down. But for some reason I always fear talking on the phone with the possibility of confusing them or something causing them to get pissed off. There must be a way to overcome this


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