# Neighbors are always outside when I go out



## Futures

I don't know what it is, but the second I step out my front door, it just so happens to be the same time my neighbors decide to come out to.

I can't even begin to count how many times I've taken that 30 seconds to walk out to the mailbox and get the mail, and then suddenly there is my nieghbor.

Or today, I was outside watering my moms plants and I thought the coast was clear to walk over to the side of the house for a few minutes to water over there. Witihn 20 seconds of being over there, my neighbor came home and pulled into the driveway.


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## Guest

I hate that too at my apartment although luckily it hasn't been that much of a problem so far at this place. Maybe think of it as an opportunity to say "hi" though so it is less uncomfortable in the future... I know how hard it is and annoying too.


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## Guitaraholic187

I have the same problem too, but my neighbours are always sitting on their deck drinking all the time. It's like living nextdoor to a carnival and the clowns are all drunk and out of contro.


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## ScottishSamurai

I sympathise. I hate the neighbours knowing what I'm doing.


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## weatherman

My neighbors are always outside working on their yards. Whenever I have to cut the grass, they are there, watching me. :afr


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## Softy785

My next door neighbors are always outside. In fact, I can't even think of a time when I didn't see them out there!! I can see them outside of my window as I type this. My neighbors across the street are always outside too. I just sort of avoid them and don't make eye contact. I don't really stress about it, I think my neighbors understand that me and my parents are private, quiet people and they don't judge us negatively for it.


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## Zephyr

Futures said:


> I don't know what it is, but the second I step out my front door, it just so happens to be the same time my neighbors decide to come out to.
> 
> I can't even begin to count how many times I've taken that 30 seconds to walk out to the mailbox and get the mail, and then suddenly there is my nieghbor.
> 
> Or today, I was outside watering my moms plants and I thought the coast was clear to walk over to the side of the house for a few minutes to water over there. Witihn 20 seconds of being over there, my neighbor came home and pulled into the driveway.


Holy **** I thought I was the only one. It's the same neighbours every single time too. I go to get in the recycling boxes... they're coming back from walking the dog. I go out to get the mail... they're going out to get the mail. Just the other day I went out for a walk... as soon as I emerged from the garage, their frickin garage door starts opening and out they come and jump into the van. It's like every time. I'll go out, and within fifteen seconds someone's either coming out of their house, or turning the corner to come back.


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## Futures

Zephyr said:


> It's like every time. I'll go out, and within fifteen seconds someone's either coming out of their house, or turning the corner to come back.


ya. The funny thing is, is before I go out, I always look out the window to make sure no one is out there. And if the coast is clear, then I go out. But that plan always seems to backfire.


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## ladybugs

^I do the same thing!


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## millenniumman75

Futures said:


> I don't know what it is, but the second I step out my front door, it just so happens to be the same time my neighbors decide to come out to.
> 
> I can't even begin to count how many times I've taken that 30 seconds to walk out to the mailbox and get the mail, and then suddenly there is my nieghbor.
> 
> Or today, I was outside watering my moms plants and I thought the coast was clear to walk over to the side of the house for a few minutes to water over there. Witihn 20 seconds of being over there, my neighbor came home and pulled into the driveway.


Yep,

I have neighbors all around! I go out to get some sun in my backyard deck and I have one neighbor who is out working in his yard doing home improvement stuff, and recently got a shed to put his things in - tearing down trees and making noise with buzz saws, etc. Last year it was his back porch.

The other neighbor comes out every few minutes, usually to check on his barbecue when he starts it up. Other than that, when he sees me out, he goes inside. We don't speak to each other - goes way back to when my mother was mentally ill and still living in the house. I have often sometimes wondered if they thought I was following in her footsteps. :roll.

A third neighbor (college-age) is completely afraid of me. I have never said a word to him or done a thing. :stu

Neighbors are weird, especially in today's society - they're wrapped up in thier own lives.

A second n


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## WineKitty

Futures said:


> Zephyr said:
> 
> 
> 
> It's like every time. I'll go out, and within fifteen seconds someone's either coming out of their house, or turning the corner to come back.
> 
> 
> 
> ya. The funny thing is, is before I go out, I always look out the window to make sure no one is out there. And if the coast is clear, then I go out. But that plan always seems to backfire.
Click to expand...

LOL I do the EXACT same thing--peer out the windows to make sure the coast is clear. And then as soon as I open the door and step out someone else will too. Its even worse in my backyard--my back door is in plain view with NO OBSTRUCTION of the neighbor's deck and they always seem to step out at the same time as me.


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## leilanistar

One day, Futures, I was standing in my backyard and the neighbor (and her Berniese Mountain Dog) in back of us was staring down at me from her upstairs bedroom window. :stu My house is one-story.

I was somewhat taken aback, but just waved at her and said "Hell-o, I am glad you're dog people!" :afr She just said, she loved her boy!

WE had only been in our new home for about a week, and had (before he passed away) one big, black doggie named Ebony. He was very loud and protective and territorial..thus, the reason for my being glad they were dog people. Her dog is very loud, too. :yes 

Anyway, back to your original post--I know it is difficult to have neighbors come out every time you go out, but you have just as much right to go out as they do. :squeeze Try and ignore them and go about your business, okay,Futures? :hug 

Star :sas


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## solitudeforever

I not only check for people before leaving, I also mow my lawn early Tuesday afternoons to avoid seeing people. I walk my dog around the back yard(6-foot privacy fence) instead of around the block. I check mail in the middle of the night. It's pathetic when you think about it.

I used to be in the Army and moderately social, but I have become this way since I started working at home on the computer. Sometimes I think I need some kind of medication, but I really hate the idea of taking anything.


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## ScottishSamurai

solitudeforever said:


> I not only check for people before leaving, I also mow my lawn early Tuesday afternoons to avoid seeing people. I walk my dog around the back yard(6-foot privacy fence) instead of around the block. I check mail in the middle of the night. It's pathetic when you think about it.
> 
> I used to be in the Army and moderately social, but I have become this way since I started working at home on the computer. Sometimes I think I need some kind of medication, but I really hate the idea of taking anything.


Hi SolitudeForever.

First of all I can relate to the measures you take just to avoid contact with others -- it does also make me feel pathetic.

Medication seems the only remaining route for me to take. I've tried basically my own exposure routines which consist of working 48 hours per week, but alas, they haven't fostered any close relationships and I find myself just coming home and staying there 'til it's time for work again. I'm willing to try anything that will help encumber this monotonous cycle.


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## solitudeforever

Hey ScottishSamurai,

Do you work with many people and do you socialize much at work? If you end up trying medication, let me know if it works,ll as I may have to bite the bullet as well.

The pictures I've seen from Scotland are amazing. I've got to travel there some day.


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## ScottishSamurai

I work with a lot of people and most are generally under-21 Uni students just making some cash to go out drinking with. Occasionally I join them on a Friday for a couple of drinks but I must be pretty boring to be around seeing as I rarely initiate or at least maintain a conversation.

I truly don't like the idea of taking drugs to help me out either, but I have to face the cold hard facts that I am not getting anywhere alone. You won't have to wait long to find out the outcome as I'll be seeing a GP tomorrow morning, and everything is crossed.

You should come to Scotland, especially if you enjoy golf and dreary weather. Americans are welcomed with open arms in the UK -- the fact they have the fattest wallets notwithstanding.


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## thirstyboots

I'm reading thru this thread and of course, RELATING big time... and then a thought struck me.

Perhaps we see the neighbors as "being outside" when we are also <all the time,> because NORMALLY, people without SA wouldn't give it a second thought... and here we are checking out the window, etc.

People enjoy the out of doors... we just are very aware of it because it bothers and/or upsets us.

I avoid my neighbor and she even called me Friday to invite me down for lemonade (ACK!) and I politely declined... saying I had a doc's appt.

That is HOW BADLY I just do NOT want to sit around drinking lemonade and making "small talk". She took it very personally I'm afraid (it's like the fourth time she's asked me) and now I'm even MORE afraid of seeing her outside. ROFL!

Oh how pathetic, isn't it? :fall

Anyway... just a thought on WHY we are so hyperaware of the presence of our neighbors... it's possible that it may not be WEIRD that they seem to always be outside at the same time... it's just that we are so darn VIGILIANT.

_sigh_

Boots


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## brokenlight

This happens to me, too. I always check to make sure nobody is around before I go outside. There are certain people who I least want to run into, and so I double check for them. I then go outside, and people are popping out from behind their homes, they are driving up in their cars, dogs are being let outside, neighbors begin washing their cars, children are running around their yards, people I don't even know are walking up and down the street in front of me.


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## kintrovert

Bluecat said:


> I'm as stealthy as a ninja. I moved into this apartment in late December and I've yet to run into any of my neighbors.


Lucky you!


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## kintrovert

Oh wow - I can also relate to this thread - _big time_! I feel like a big grouch, but I _dread_ the thought of encountering my neighbors and when I do, my anxiety is manifested as all kinds of hostile thoughts and feelings. In my head, I get mad at the neighbor for "timing" their activities "perfectly" so that they can run into me. :um I get paranoid that the men are "checking me out", looking at my butt or something (many females may like the thought of this - but for some reason it really bothers me in this situation). I also get mad at "fate". My social-anxiety makes me one angry b*tch.

Despite my extreme social-anxiety, I've been on a bit of an exercise addiction for the past few months and I go for 45-minute power walks around my neighborhood 3 to 4 times a week. Let me tell you...it certainly isn't easy on my psyche. Cars will be backing out of their driveway (or pulling into their driveway) _just_ as I am right there at the driveway - whenever anything like this happens, I always feel like it's an opportunity to get stared at. All sorts of "cruel" stuff happens. Last week, I was walking by the house across the street from me, and the couple who lives there happened to be out toward the front of their driveway talking. I get all tense as I approach the house (and the lady hasn't exactly been friendly to me in the past - I've been out walking and in the distance her car will be passing, and she'll just be staring at me w/o seemingly making any efforts to speak) - I go through all the usual anxiety stuff about suddenly not knowing where to look, etc. I made a conscious decision to casually look the other way just to relieve my tension a bit and to do something with my gaze - but a few seconds later, I make the decision to look their way and perhaps speak. When I look at them, both of them are just standing there _staring_ at me - and it seemed as though they had been staring at me for "awhile" too - for at least a few seconds before I discovered it. They continue staring even after I look at them. I try my best to "play it cool" even as my head is going haywire - I just look at them (well, perhaps mainly at the man b/c it is easier to look at one person than to try to look at them both) and say "hi" in a cool manner. The man responds with a "hi" - the lady just continues to look at me w/o speaking.

It was so upsetting - I'm burining up with negative thoughts inside. I even seriously consider (and I'm still considering it) approaching them and "explaining" to them what I am dealing with. People make judgements about you perhaps having _no idea_ just what is going on in your head - and I think this incident may be yet another case of this. It's as if they were talking amongst themselves - "will that rude, stuck-up b*tch speak to us?!" and/or "there goes the saddity one...". Sometimes you just want to tell people in no uncertain terms that not everyone finds it easy to speak to others - some people are dealing with significant shyness issues. They just don't know how much I suffer.


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## perfect neurotic

I used to have neighbors who did this for real. I was even spied on by the man of the house. Creepy.

I think some people find phobics fascinating... like Bigfoot.


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## seph

This thread is great. I thought I was the only one who checked for people before going outside. Sometimes I don't get my mail for days because the opportunity hasn't presented itself. There are outside projects I would like to get done on my house, but I always think someone will be watching me and saying 'why is he doing it that way.. that's not right' Thanks for helping me feel a little better about it.


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## friendless

tell yourself that your neibors are not out for watching you


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## Don_Corleone

I think personally the best thing to do is to ACTUALLY TALK to your neighbors... yes, I said talk. See I'm still young ( 18 ), but 2 years ago, I was the same way until i got a car and started talking to my neighbor when he saw it in the driveway. I don't have the anxiety I used to when I see them outside anymore because of that. 

My dream is to move to NYC in about a year and my goal is to become friends, or at least talk or say what's up to the people I'm going to see a lot. (Apartment complex, gym, stores, work, etc.) so that I am comfortable and happy where I live. The reason being is I just graduated high school in June and realized that when I got away from the people I have known my whole life that it almost seems like they know I have a mild SA, and meet people iv never seen before and they know nothing about me, the new people I meet I am a lot more comfortable around because I feel like I an actually be myself and not have them thinking "I've known him for 10 years, this is not how he is" when in reality it is who I am... I actually think that's the last step to beat this, get so close to having it gone to the point where your almost very comfortable and confident around people you've known your whole life then move somewhere and get a fresh start and establish yourself. Iv already done that in switching gyms from a gym I was at 2years and man what a big difference, holy ****. -- 

Also in my opinion, JUST AN OPINION, NYC is one of the best places to live for people with SA... a few reasons---1. People don't care about you as much as in the suburbs, there worried about themselves and that's it, therefore no one is focusing on you, 2. So many noises, lights, people that it distracts you from overthinking... honestly, go there and you feel so much better (especially New York, I realized people don't stare, if you lock eyes they will break eye contact in a split second), 3. plenty of freaks to feel superior too... LOL just kidding, but seriously when you see some people there, you might feel a little better about yourself. -- Plenty more why I think its a good place for people like us, BUT just an OPINION.


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## reticent

Don_Corleone said:


> Also in my opinion, JUST AN OPINION, NYC is one of the best places to live for people with SA..a few reasons---1. People dont care about you as much as in the suburbs, there worried about themselves and thats it, therefore no one is focusing on you, 2. So many noises, lights, people that it distracts you from overthinking...honestly, go there and you feel so much better (especially new york, i realized people dont stare, if you lock eyes they will break eye contact in a split second), 3. plenty of freaks to feel superior too...LOL just kidding, but seriosuly when you see some people there, you might feel alittle better about yourself. -- Plenty more why i think its a good place for people like us, BUT just an OPINION.


This is true to a certain extent, I'm glad someone brought up regional differences. I'm a transplant from a big city close to NY transplanted to a small town in the south. It's amazing how you can be a semi recluse and still find out just about everyone knows your business. Talk about paranoid tendencies being evoked. But I will caution you there are plenty of tricksters in the big city that make it their business to stake you and your house out for their benefit so be careful not paranoid but mindful of this fact. 

I hope your experience is better but I must say I lived in an apartment for years without getting to know any of my neighbors to the right or left. Yet we did manage to say hello if we happened to be in the hall at the same time. I wish you the best but be careful.


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## Guest

yeah, i hate that! but i've gotten to the point where i dont care because they're always out anyway so i just look in the other direction because they seem to avoid speaking to me too :stu


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## dB

This is the reason why I always count down the weeks until daylight savings is over. I like summer, however less hours of daylight means less worrying about what the neighbours are doing when I'm going outside. Now the'yre talking about extending daylight savings by 3-4 weeks here. :afr


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## dangat

I hate neighbors. My dream is to go in a rocketship on a direct line to nothing so no one will ever follow after me, and I can know I'll be left alone from now on. When I leave my house, there is always the neighbors across the street - this old woman and man always sitting on their porch. I feel like they expect me to play the good old grandson role, and I don't want the anxiety of keeping it up, when I don't like them, so I manage to act like a hooligan and as I walk out, pretending in my head, I hate old people. 

Then walking to the bus stop, there's this guy who frequently sits on his steps. When I first moved here, I thought I'd eventually give in and act nice to him too, but have managed not to, and pretty much give the impression I'm stuck up. This is a success for me, because I'm afraid of being judged as rude, but don't want to put on a painful fake social butterfly face, constantly worrying they'll either invite me in or see through the facade, just because I run into these people all the time. I've already done that before, and it sucks and never gets easier with the person.


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## Catarina

I don't really care if my neighbors are outside or not.

On the topic of snoopy neighbors though...

There's this old lady across the street who is obsessed with my family. She always knows everything. Quite creepy. When my dad was painting our fence she was trying to run across the street to tell him something - probably that he should use a different color - but her family was holding her back. She was like "Nooo! Stoppp! Nooo!" LOL, pretty funny actually. My dad kept painting, with more enthusiasm than ever. _hugs_


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## Coloryourworld

*Neighbor prevents me from working in yard*

It seems that everytime I want to work in the yard, my neighbor shows up. I stop working and they think I am lazy. The other probplem is they have a lot of visitors. They always gather next to my yard and face in my direction. Some stare and want to know what I am doing?:|

I have wondered about why with their large yard, would they choose to be right up to the fence facing my yard. Because of this I have a very difficult time taking care of the yard and this makes things worse, I feel guilty about the yard looking terrible. I think they do this on purpose.

The other thing that bothers me is this constant, 'How ya doin?" I can step out the back door and one of them will say this. I just want to be left alone with no questions.

I have only a 4 foot fence and decided to plant very tall growing sunflowers. I am hoping that this will soon block them from watching me.:yes


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## Jcgrey

Six. 6 years.


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## GnB

Arg, yes, i was avoiding my nieghbours, too. If they were outside, i would abruptly go back in the house. I hated that i couldnt feel free to be in my own yard. I finally made it a goal to go introduce myself and now i usually feel more at ease in my own yard. I was so angry at myself for being afraid, then kind of unfairly hating them. It can still be awkward though. I wish i could act with the same assertiveness to achieve goals in other social settings too. I guess this situation had to be faced while others are easier to avoid,


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## The Sleeping Dragon

I'm a ninja too. I've seen my neighbor twice in three years. Than all of a sudden I had a new one, a lady. I've seen her two times and shes moved her about a half year. Meh. **** neighbors.


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## DontLookAtMe

Why did it take me 3 years to find this thread?! :afr Every few months, I Google something like "my neighbors always outside" or the like and mostly all I've ever found were people so glad their neighbors were always around (strange people) and how friendly everyone was.

Let me set this up for you since I finally found people who get it:

I live in a corner house at the end of a road at the bottom of a slope. If you are driving that road, I am at the end of the road on the right. The house just before mine on the right is facing the road. The two houses at the end on the left are facing the road. MY house? My house is facing the cross street, so my back yard is everyone's FRONT yard basically. And because I'm downhill from my neighbor behind me, they can see right into my backyard and I'd have to construct an EIGHT FOOT FENCE to obstruct their side window. And to make matters worse, my washer and dryer is out back there (this is an old quaint SoCal town).

When I moved in, the house behind me had a young guy living there. Then he moved out and his brother moved in. They each had regular schedules at the family construction biz, but the second brother got a roommate who started out with a part time job, but then quit and was always outside smoking and texting. I'd want to walk out my back door but there he was just sitting, so I couldn't. When he wasn't there, as soon as I walked outside, he'd come driving up. In the middle of the day, I would finally think the coast was clear to go out and do laundry and then BAM! he'd come driving up. It was like he had a homing device in his brain to return home as soon as I walked outside. And he'd always talk to me. Once I locked myself out and was fiddling with the lock and had done so before. He wanted to know what I was doing and I told him. Then he looked pressed for time and said, "Well I gotta go somewhere right now. If I can, I'll help you when I get back."

Well, sorry to PUT YOU OUT, dude. But I didn't ask for your help. And I didn't offer you the info in the first place. You BUTT IN and ASKED.

The houses across the street were vacant for almost a year. But they were vacant during the time the always-there-guy behind me was ALWAYS OUTSIDE so I never got to enjoy the opportunity. These roommates eventually both moved out and then all of a sudden, all three houses got tenants--the entire corner now is a full house. UGH. This was last year. But here's the thing:

They are all young people who never seem to go anywhere until late morning early afternoon--and when they do, they return within an hour or two. WTF? I finally get to a place in my life where I have a nice schedule where I can enjoy my mornings, but I live around people who are always there. Don't any of them work? They drive decent cars. Seriously... WTF?

I peek out the window, I go outside and then suddenly someone appears. I like my house, I don't want to move, but seriously... GO TO WORK. haha.

I have been trying to get my backyard redone for a couple of years now but I never want to go out there. This summer I decided to just bite the bullet and get it done, deal with the, "Hello!"s and the unwanted social interaction (this is my own time at home--I don't want to be social with people I don't love) and go out there. But today for the first time, the guy across the street opens up his shade and sits literally 2 feet away from the window to work on his computer for hours. If I wanted to go out there, I had to be on parade. So I didn't go out and water my grass seeds before the hot sweltering sun came in full blaze.

Ugh.

Finally, a place where I can vent these past 3 years of frustration without the misguided advice from social butterflies. Thanks for letting me get this out. :boogie

I literally figured I was the only one. I had a night job once where I returned at 2am. And even then, half the time, the kid behind me managed to be out there. At 2AM! I told my sister once and she said, "Ever thought they think the same about you?" 

Uh, no, because these people are always out there when I am inside. I only go out when it's CLEAR. I don't go out there when they have the outside to themselves. I don't show up when they are out there. When I drive near and see one of them outside arriving or going in their cars, I go around the corner first and wait for them to complete their arrival/departure.

She says I'm a curmudgeon. But she should know better as an introvert herself. Ha. 

Anyway, thanks! I signed up just to post this.


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## DontLookAtMe

I have one more thing to vent about: (sorry and thank you)

The two houses across the street has the same owner. They spent a year remodeling and then trying to sell. Eventually they got rented basically at the same time. They have a landscaper who comes to do the grass, edging, blowing, etc. 

He eventually picked up work up the street from me. One time I came home and he was mowing MY patch of grass/weeds on the sidewalk--the city property I'm responsible for. 

I was MAD! So I come pulling up and this guy is all sweetness and light telling me a lady up the street paid for him to do it for me. It was straggly, but not horrible. It's the same patch I'm trying to seed right now. I was gracious but CLEARLY not being "Oh, gee, thank you!" I was like, "Ok, whatever, dude." I wanted him to feel stupid and that I was ungrateful, because I was.

He was like, "Oh, she wanted to do something nice, so be blessed! (smile)."

Uh, I will be blessed when you finish up and get the freak off my grass patch. I know what you're doing, dude. You're trying to get me as a customer, too.

As it is, at the end of the week when I finally have the corner to myself, this guy comes rolling up in his truck and he spends hours out there doing 3 houses, dragging his stuff around the whole corner. When I finally get the place to myself, HE shows up.

Ok... I'm finished belly aching. :blank


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## copper

Right now the lady that is trying to sell her mother's house is staying there. Well her mother always hated my spruce trees when she was alive. Well everytime I am outside she always harrasses me about chopping them down. What is it to her she lives in Milwaukee and she is seling her mother's house here. Go back to Milwaukee if you don't like it. This is the northwoods and there are lots of trees. Get over it. Right now I have part of my house gutted out due to water demage. So chopping trees down is last on the list of priorities.


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## Wrong Galaxy

Before I step out of the gate, I always do a recon, surveillance outside, taking a peek checking out if there's someone walking by, sweeping/cleaning etc. Yeah I do have some lapses/mistakes but I just walk fast to avoid them.


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## Seaofnames

For four years I lived in house where the spaces between the houses were maybe 10 to 15 feet apart. Since my house was in the middle I had neighbors on both sides. All three houses have decks and my neighbors were always out there from the time they got home until they went to sleep at night. 

The neighbors on the right were old so they would sit out there and smoke and only ask me questions ocassionally. The neighbor on the otherside was always drunk. Every time I would go outside she would corner me and tell me everything that was wrong in her life. Boyfriend, work, her most current divorce all while she's smoking and spilling wine all over herself. Thankfully I saved my pennies and we bought another house on top of a hill and I have no neighbors on either side now!


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## Socially Uncomfortable

I was starting to think I was crazy. My husband and I recently moved into our first apartment a while back with our dog. Of course having a dog means frequently taking her out to the bathroom. My recent career endeavor has fallen through for a few weeks which leaves me stranded at home while my husband works from 3:15-12:15 and doesn't get home until almost one. We have the downstairs neighbors who are always outside. I had a job when we first moved in and every single day on the way to work, I would have to pass them in order to get to my car. They block the sidewalk at the bottom of the stairs so I was forced to engage talking to them in order to get them to move. Some days they would try to get me involved in conversation and almost made me late for work a few times. Now I am constantly peeking through the blinds to see if anyone, it doesn't even have to be them, is out. They practically know the schedule my dog goes to the bathroom and have to come outside and just sit there, as if waiting for me to come out. Some days it's just one of them, sitting there on the sidewalk, doing nothing for no apparent reason. When the coast is "clear," I will go out and then it just seems the complex is bombarded with people pulling in, walking dogs, out on their balconies and porches, out jogging, making noise, children running around. Taking my dog out is the only time I really get out of the apartment to do anything and I feel like my anxiety is ruining it for me and makes me feel like crying when someone has to mess up my schedule. Even my dog has social anxiety. :b


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## Luka92

I live in a 6-story building. And almost every time I step outside my apartment, I hear someone coming down the stairs, so I have to go outside as quickly as I can before they can see me.


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## DeeperUnderstanding

I close the windows and stay inside as much as possible. I hate being outside, because of the neighbors.


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## Define Lies

Maybe your neighbours just like you


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## DefendAll

lol this happens to me all the time i quickly duck nd go back inside


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## shyvr6

Mine are usually outside and have get togethers with their family or friends over the weekends in the warmer months. 

And poor, WineKitty. I forgot she got perma banned.


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## MissNegative

I see big similarities here with regards to neighbours! I'm nervous in my garden, as its overlooked quite alot by other houses, I feel panicky and like people are watching me when I'm outside. As if my neighbours would stand at their windows all day, JUST to watch me de-weeding! HA! :/


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## Socialanxiety11

i wait till they go inside.


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## Kaplan

Was hard for me in the beginning though got used to it over time.


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## pger98

Guitaraholic187 said:


> I have the same problem too,but my neighbours are always sitting on their deck drinking all the time.It's like living nextdoor to a carnival and the clowns are all drunk and out of contro.


This is what i experience also. I am looking to plant a big tree so I can walk past my window without them looking in.


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## Still Waters

I used to have neighbors that pretty much LIVED in their garage. They had chairs in the garage facing the street,garage door open -they'd sit there practically day and night hanging out with their friends. Who does that? I mean,THEY HAD A HOUSE-why would you invite people over to sit in the garage with you and stare at the street?!?


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## pger98

Still Waters said:


> I used to have neighbors that pretty much LIVED in their garage. They had chairs in the garage facing the street,garage door open -they'd sit there practically day and night hanging out with their friends. Who does that? I mean,THEY HAD A HOUSE-why would you invite people over to sit in the garage with you and stare at the street?!?


Same thing I experienced this past summer. They have this massive back yard with all the goodies, yet they sit in their front yard/garage...HMMM :um

You can also have the neighbor who has nothing intelligent come out of their mouth, and you cannot avoid them for the life of you. Anything you say, they come back with some comment that does not even make sense, or not know what you are talking about.


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## Still Waters

pger98 said:


> Same thing I experienced this past summer. They have this massive back yard with all the goodies, yet they sit in their front yard/garage...HMMM :um
> 
> You can also have the neighbor who has nothing intelligent come out of their mouth, and you cannot avoid them for the life of you. Anything you say, they come back with some comment that does not even make sense, or not know what you are talking about.


Oh No!! --- I fear I am probably that neighbor!:teeth


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## IRSadface

I can definately relate to the whole neighbour thing, and also "checking if the coast is clear" I do this everytime I need to go out. I'll always have a good look through the window before venturing out. I just can't stand being in front of the house, I feel like every other person on the street are at their windows looking at me and wondering why I am actually leaving the house.


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## jonjacob

This is the exact kind of weird s*it that will keep you perpetually down, with not hope of getting better...man as soon as I think I'm bad...afraid of the neighbors??? For real? F them, who cares? Dont even look at them if u dont want to


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## yadx

haha man I hate that so much. usually it just stays with ''hi'' when I run into people from my neighbourhood, but sometimes they start talking about my study nd shizz, always turns into such an akward conversation lol


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## Cidem

Since I instructed my neighbours to hit the floor while I approached - I have yet to make eye contact with any of the little ****s yet!! Honestly - I would be lost without my gun...


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## lost91

Same my neighbors that live in front of me are ALWAYS outside sitting and just staring towards my house. Its like they have nothing better to do than to stare this way. I sometimes like to look out the blinds and stare back at them.


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## ak2218

and for a minute i thought i was the only person with this problem! I unfortunately live in a condomium so my front lawn is literally shared with my next door neighbors....im very paranoid before I go out I look through the blinds to see if anyone is out and if the coast isnt clear I wont go


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## isibel

I signed up JUST to post this. I am so glad to find this thread because I thought I'm the only one who gets irritated with this. Sorry but I have to just rant so this may be long. 

The last place I basically became a ninja to avoid seeing the nosy maintenance man of the building (going up 7 flights of stairs rather than take the elevator, etc) He just always appeared everywhere and asked so many nosy questions, I couldn't stand him. Then I moved to my family's home where my block has a plethora of insane nosy people. There's the guy that collects cans and goes through everyone's garbage and for some reason hacks and spits every time he sees me (i'm sorry, but i feel like this is some passive aggressive thing people do esp when it happens OVER and over the minute they see you), the new nosy old man who was constantly lurking outside my door smoking and going through my garbage, my next door neighbor who stares at me every time I go in the yard, etc. 

I moved again a few months ago, but I can't enjoy my yard because my crazy neighbor seems to HAVE to appear in the yard any time i'm doing yard work. I was friendly to him at first but then he just keeps appearing and I really don't want to talk to anyone when I'm in my yard cleaning or whatever. His new thing is "pulling weeds" while making moaning sexual noises (like weird grunting that is not normal exertion noises). It was REALLY strange and freaked me out. Like I don't know what that was all about but it was not normal.

So now I'm like afraid to even attempt to go in my yard until I get some sort of huge fence to block on the insane guy. I just get annoyed because i just want to go about my business and be left alone but it NEVER fails that some weird person is either going through my garbage, asking me nosy questions, spitting and hacking the minute they see me, and now I got my new wonderful neighbor "moaning" when i'm trying to do yard work. It'd almost be funny if it weren't so annoying. Just leave me alone! And it sucks when like 90% of the neighbors ARE normal people going about their business but those one or two people just make going in the yard a nightmare.  I give up. At first I was all interested in gardening after that incident I totally lost interest now lol...


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## Kanner

I feel like a prisoner in my home. My neighbors have a bad reputation in the ENTIRE town of being uppity, self absorbed, entitled meanies. I feel like they lay in wait to start yelling. Whenever I put my dogs out, theirs ( a blind, rather large mean dog with a history of attacking people) starts barking and freaking out. I have a very small patch of yard on the opposite side of the house that is fenced off. This is their small, sad little kennel. But to get there I have to take them past the "mine field". I can't tell you how many times they have threatened me with the police. Even on my own, cleaning the yard and such, the dog starts barking and they yell at ME! I can't force myself to go outside after 8am or before midnight. The only solace I have is the dog is ancient and won't last much longer.


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## ForgettableDoll

My neighbors are ghetto white people.

They're VERY outgoing.

The man of that household even admitted that he makes friends by just talking to ANYONE who walks on by. 

I usually avoid my neighbors by slipping out through the back door.


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## Jonny Bo

*Really over my neighbours*

Just get this off my chest: Moved in to our house about two years ago and the woman across the road was nice and friendly and her grandson misses the guy that used to live there and they sort of idolized him or something to that effect, so that's all good sure. And she would talk to me about once a week when we got near each other (parking in driving, putting out rubbish etc) but after a while it seemed that every time i came home, went to work, walked my dogs, was in the garden out front she would be there. I just don't know how this is f**ing possible? When I think no one is there some one pulls up in to the f*ing driveway, when I go to work, they go to work, I water my garden or go out the front and their f***ing front door is always open as they are seeking or hoping to engage with someone or to be aware of what people are up to around them. I put my rubbish out and the front door opens and some one starts moving about wtf? why? She comes out when I'm doing renovations or gardening out front on the weekend and tells me stories, which I know are absolute bull*, she is a compulsive liar, she once said that her grandson dressed up "as me" for Halloween wtf? 

Now it's ridiculous I have to wait until it's dark to water my garden out front and some times duck down low or be really quiet because their front door is open and someone will come out for some reason or another or someone will pull in to their driveway and she might see me and try to talk some lies. Someone rang the bell twice the other night 30 minutes apart, I suspect it was her. :no:afr

My wife tells me to stop being silly because I'm peeping out of the doorway and always getting angry because I can see their f***ing front door is open. I and I'm worried about going out the front because, well you know what.

Thanks for listening
Jonny Bo


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## Myr

I have a neighbor who has lived across the street from me my entire life, and for as long as I can remember, he has spent at least half the day every day sitting in his open garage staring at our yard. Swear to God. When we were kids, we used to climb up onto the roof and stare back at him. And whenever we would misbehave somehow with the other neighborhood kids, he'd tell our parents about it.

It's a worse now, though. My brother has anxiety worse than I do, and he always has to wait until that neighbor goes inside before he can even leave the house at all. It's not really fun having that guy staring at you constantly, judging you.


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## ChangeInProgress

I live in an apartment with 2 dogs. And when they need to use the bathroom, I gotta take them downstairs all the way to the front. Problem is, at the bottom of the steps, there is a raised border for the grass area. Makes the perfect place for people to hang out and smoke or drink. And now with the weather beginning to clear and it getting warmer, I should expect people to be out there which I hate! Hate having to walk past a group of people with my dogs cuz I feel them all staring at me. Usually results in me constantly taking peaks out my window to make sure no one is there so I can take out. Hate summer time here.


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## max75

I'm glad to hear others have similar issues with this.I always try to avoid the neighbors and the inevitable small talk and try to sneak out whenever possible but I usually end up running into them.It makes me very nervous.When I'm about to leave the house,my heart pounds and I become very stressed.

Before I step outside, I do a quick scan through the window and hope for the best.Winter is the worst time as I live in a snowy locale and there is constant neighbor interaction because everyone has to shovel/snowblow their driveways and the houses are very close together. I end up trying to clear my driveway after midnight when everyone is asleep rather than meeting all the neighbors in the morning.


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## LostGiraffe

I too as well signed up for this forum just to post to this specific thread. I live in the South aka: Americas butthole. To anybody who lives in the South, you can understand where I am coming from. Small town, houses 10 ft apart, nosy, judgmental, bible-thumping drunks. That's my neighbors. It's mainly just the two houses across the street from me, but oh the hell and drama they cause me.

I have about an average amount of SA, but them moving in made it so much worse. First of all, both of them will literally sit in their garage ALL day. They have a whole other living room in there. It's hard for me to walk outside to get the mail or even take out the trash. The only times they are not there is between 12-6am I would say. I understand about 7 people live in one house. You can imagine the space all their dirty trucks take up. The other couple across the street... neither one of them have jobs. I know for a fact. They are lazy, arrogant, and just sit there collecting money for free & drinking beer, while I'm over here working two jobs and in college trying to make something of myself. Oh yeah, I also smoke marijuana... which they somehow know. It helps me anxiety and stress greatly. Maybe my mom told them. I don't know. I don't really care what they think. I rarely drink. My walls are so thin and they are so loud that I can sometimes hear their sheepish conversations about there being "potheads" in the neighborhood, like it's somehow such a terrible thing? It's not like I deal drugs out of my house. 

I assume they think I have dealers come by, because every time a friend comes over or another car comes over that they don't recognize, they will personally knock on my door and start asking me questions. This is why I don't answer my door anymore unless I know for a fact who is there. Oh yeah, and to top it all off my neighbors right next to me whom I thought were super sweet (the lady does my hair for discount and everything) are majorly pissed at me because my dog dug into their yard while I was at work. They love my dog! They even have a dog of their own!! I can understand the frustration but uptight much? 

Maybe it just takes a lot to make me mad or that I love animals, but I wouldn't have an issue if a pet dug into my yard on accident. Now my SA is preventing me from going back to her, so I have to find a new hair place &#128514; the struggle. Thanks for listening to me vent, guys.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nujabes23

leilanistar said:


> One day, Futures, I was standing in my backyard and the neighbor (and her Berniese Mountain Dog) in back of us was staring down at me from her upstairs bedroom window. :stu My house is one-story.
> 
> I was somewhat taken aback, but just waved at her and said "Hell-o, I am glad you're dog people!" :afr She just said, she loved her boy!
> 
> WE had only been in our new home for about a week, and had (before he passed away) one big, black doggie named Ebony. He was very loud and protective and territorial..thus, the reason for my being glad they were dog people. Her dog is very loud, too. :yes
> 
> Anyway, back to your original post--I know it is difficult to have neighbors come out every time you go out, but you have just as much right to go out as they do. :squeeze Try and ignore them and go about your business, okay,Futures? :hug
> 
> Star :sas


:lol


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## nujabes23

i've never seen my neighbors :lol they are usually never outside or anything. the only time i go out is to walk my dogs and that's pretty much it so i barely see any of my neighbors.


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## beachroad

Futures said:


> ya. The funny thing is, is before I go out, I always look out the window to make sure no one is out there. And if the coast is clear, then I go out. But that plan always seems to backfire.


Haha, I love this. I literally thought I was the only one. And that no one would understand. It’s so awesome to see some of the social anxiety community say they do the same thing. I suddenly feel that community.

I check out my windows whenever I have to head out whether leaving, going out, biking, or checking the mail. When the coast is clear I bolt out quickly. Often I’ve been pretty good at assessing it, but then there are times I've done that and you run into that same neighbor whose always hanging out there. And you think, "Where did you come from!? I thought the coast was clear."

I live in this building that is primarily quiet and you rarely run into people. The only two I continue to run into are these two separate smokers, which I can’t stand the cigarette smoke either. It's always the smokers. The biggest offender is this retired guy that doesn’t do anything but smoke outside every half hour. You run into him and he asks, “Where are you headed?” Or, “Where did you go?” You have to be so precise in timing your escape in-between those half hours. 

I’m sure he’s just trying to be friendly or neighborly, but it’s a literal nightmare especially for a social anxiety person. I don’t want to see a neighbor let alone talk to one. He’s been in the building for years and moved in years after me. Can’t stand his cigarette smoke that floats into my windows. I work from home so it’s like of all the neighbors to get, I get the older retired nosy smoker that has no life, but spends each day lurking around outside. And then breathing in his smoke. Whether I go into the living room, he's smoking on that side and the smoke wafts in. If I go into the bedroom, his smoke wafts in as he's out by the garages loitering and smoking. I’ll be happy when he’s moved. Not just for the my social anxiety, but his god awful constant smoking. I bought fans for the windows to blow the smoke back outside.


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## beachroad

thirstyboots said:


> Peope enjoy the out of doors .... we just are very aware of it because it bothers and/or upsets us.
> 
> I avoid my neighbor and she even called me Friday to invite me down for lemonade (ACK!) and I politely declined......saying I had a doc's appt.
> 
> That is HOW BADLY I just do NOT want to sit around drinking lemonade and making "small talk". She took it very personally I'm afraid (it's like the fourth time she's asked me) and now I'm even MORE afraid of seeing her outside. ROFL!
> 
> Oh how pathetic, isn't it? :fall
> 
> Anyway.....just a thought on WHY we are so hyperaware of the presence of our neighbors.......it's possible that it may not be WEIRD that they seem to always be outside at the same time.....it's just that we are so darn VIGILIANT.
> 
> _sigh_
> 
> Boots


So true! I know your post was a long time ago, but if you felt that the neighbor took it personally, if you sense they might be cool you could always say, “Sorry if I came off rude, but I have social anxiety so don't take it personally.”


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## Blue Dino

My neighbors diagonal from me runs a woodworking shop from their garage as a side hussle business for as long as I remember. So the husband and wife couple will always see on their opened garage on their lawn chairs on their laptops facing the street nearly evening evening until after dark and all day weekends. It use to bother me a bit. But eventually I got use to it. Quite a few times, they also caught or called out people committing petty crime like theft or unruly things on the block. Quite a few car break-ins thieves were caught thanks to them. 

My neighbors just across from me also hangs out their garage a lot. The husband invites his military buddies over and watch sports on their giant big screen there. Also have a stocked bar and pool table inside the garage. They will yell, cheer and laugh a lot late into the night. I know military vets because all of their cars have the veteran bumper sticker and decals. They also always drive the mega monster trucks and big wheels and they will take up so many street parking whenever they have their little bro-downs in their garage. The husband also has a punching/kicking bag and a lot of times I can hear him train on it yelling kyah! and hitting sound endlessly. They also have two rottweilers that constantly bark at our dogs. Although once you go up to them up close, they become sweethearts.


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## either/or

I live in a small 4 unit apartment building and my neighbors are constantly coming and going so I'm always running into them. Or more like I used to when I actually had places to go before society collapsed in March of 2020. I'm still WFH so I hardly ever leave my building. But anyways, I hate running into them, it's annoying. I hate getting roped into long, boring, inane discussions. I hate pretending I don't hate them and that I want to talk to them. I hate trying to look not anxious. I hate pretending like I'm interested in what they're saying. I hate forced interactions like this.


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## firelight

Yeah one neighbor is often in out in his yard and it's the bane of my existence. I don't know whether to wave or not wave and I definitely don't want him talking to me. There's a gulch behind our house and I almost want to repel down it with a rope just so I can go walk in peace. Having to take the trash out is still really stress inducing though so I do it late at night in the hopes no one is out.


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## kttt

firelight said:


> Yeah one neighbor is often in out in his yard and it's the bane of my existence. I don't know whether to wave or not wave and I definitely don't want him talking to me. There's a gulch behind our house and I almost want to repel down it with a rope just so I can go walk in peace. Having to take the trash out is still really stress inducing though so I do it late at night in the hopes no one is out.


I have a neighbor that is straight across the street sets out there all day facing my house 8-10 hours a day. It’s so annoying I want move. Who sets outside all day staring across the street weirdo.


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## WillYouStopDave

kttt said:


> I have a neighbor that is straight across the street sets out there all day facing my house 8-10 hours a day. It’s so annoying I want move. Who sets outside all day staring across the street weirdo.


 It's fairly normal in some places while being very rare in others.


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## Jessinthecity

I’m glad I’m not crazy for feeling this way because I sure thought I was. I live in a zero lot home where the garage is in the back of the house. So I thought it was going to be like really quiet with less interaction from people. Little did I know the neighbor beside me and the neighbors at the back of me was going to treat the back of the garage area like a backyard. They are outside every single day letting their kids play.

I lived in alot of places and I never encountered a group of people outside so much everyday of the week. Ugh ,I really get disgusted because I believe there is something seriously wrong these with people. The neighbor installed a basketball goal by his driveway. Which attracts all the kids in the neighborhood. It’s annoying as hell ,everytime I pull up to my garage I have to wait till they clear the pathway. I’m the last house at the end so I have to pass them to get to my house.

It seems like they have developed some kind of relationship amongst themselves but my husband and I aren’t interested. We believe that leads to other problems and we don’t want people all in our business. I’m pretty sure they think we are very anti-social, but I don’t care because I value my privacy. I don’t want to be friends with my neighbors,a simple Hi is enough for me.

I love when it rains because they don’t come outside. Don’t understand the point of having a roof over your head when you are never inside. It sucks because you can’t even enjoy a little fresh air at your own without being watched by other people.


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