# I made a phonecall!



## jjoanna (Apr 13, 2017)

I'm _terrible_ on the phone, always have been.

When I was younger I used to cry when my mum wanted me to ring grandma to wish her happy holidays etc.

I've gone through the anxiety-riddled process of securing employment but then losing jobs because I've pretty much refused to go near a phone when asked.

I've racked up a lot of debt because I couldn't make phonecalls to my telephone provider explaining why I couldn't pay a tiny bill on time... sooo the bill turned into £££+

But! Today I did it. I'd stupidly locked myself out of my internet banking service and desperately needed to know whether a particular payment had gone out (I have no money worries anymore, but due to previous problems I like to be 100% my bills are paid!)

I had no way of checking my transactions unless I physically walked into a bank and asked for some help (NOPE) or make a phonecall. So I did! To my absolute _relief_ it was totally automated, I let my guard drop a little bit but then felt the absolute horror sink in again as the robot at the other explained there was an "error in the system" and I had to speak to an advisor. (A real person?!?!? :afr)

After much hanging up and redialling - all sorted! Took about 20 minutes and was awful from start to finish, but it's all done. Feels so goooood. I can now stop panicking about my bills as well. All in all, a good day!


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## Excaliber (May 16, 2015)

Congrats!! I understand how difficult picking up or making a call on the phone is, it really spikes my anxiety, I have to do it at work sometimes and I don't like it, I always feel customers want an answer right now as fast as possible and that causes me to screw up so I put them on hold and let one of the other counter guys handle them, but I'm working on improving that so I'm not as scared to handle the phone.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

Well done 

I am not keen on them either (used to avoid at all costs). I have a week next week of purposefully doing them daily as exposure. 

My advice, for what it's worth, don't put them off at all, the more you do that the worse it gets, do them asap. Also the obvious stuff re planning what you are going to say etc helps


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Congrats! I know the struggle.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Did you have to talk to someone? It sounds like you did fine. The people​ on the other end really are not that bad. It is tough when there us an accent. One time, I was calling about my phone line having a hum. It was so loud, I couldn't hear the guy very well. We still managed to get the problem fixed and I have not had a problem since.

We have to realize that everybody makes phone calls. We have to have an I don't care attitude. Most of them we will never hear or see again.


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## jjoanna (Apr 13, 2017)

millenniumman75 said:


> Did you have to talk to someone? It sounds like you did fine. The people on the other end really are not that bad. It is tough when there us an accent. One time, I was calling about my phone line having a hum. It was so loud, I couldn't hear the guy very well. We still managed to get the problem fixed and I have not had a problem since.
> 
> We have to realize that everybody makes phone calls. We have to have an I don't care attitude. Most of them we will never hear or see again.


Yes I did. I kept trying to go through the automated process again and again but wasn't working out. Had to resort to a human! :afr

But yeah, you're right. The person I spoke to has definitely forgotten about me by now! Everyone does have to make phone calls... such a simple thing to remember but so hard to make peace with!


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## Richard Pawgins (Jul 11, 2013)

What's a phonecall?


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## girafa (Apr 9, 2017)

So brave. If I had the option of sorting it out in person or over the phone, I'd choose to do it in person. My main issue with phone anxiety is the apprehension, the longer I wait and prepare myself, the more anxious I become. Whereas if it's in person it's all very abrupt and I'm not given any time to become anxious (unless there's a long queue or wait time).

Good job with overcoming the challenge though. You just gotta commit, remember that


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

jjoanna said:


> Yes I did. I kept trying to go through the automated process again and again but wasn't working out. Had to resort to a human! :afr
> 
> But yeah, you're right. The person I spoke to has definitely forgotten about me by now! Everyone does have to make phone calls... such a simple thing to remember but so hard to make peace with!


You still did good - :boogie :boogie :boogie
It's worth the practice! Remember - it's not as bad as you think it is.


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## rockbottomrage (Feb 26, 2017)

Congrats!


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

sure

we can make one √

place one is a valid verb for it too. I am wound up in how the four-character word should be used: call. a noun or verb. I am easy, loose & I compromise on grammar. but there is a lot of language structure missing in this world. not this thread. √

interested about how people use 'call'. my core career was call data records (CDR) rating, tariff.... discounts, duration, from what number to what number, and inter(between) suppliers / exchanges provision to calculate cost charge for each instance to end up on a list of calls on an invoice, made to look pretty..

phone up

call up.

I love a goose on a river. HONK!! over an over, lonely when no other gooses. I can make the exact noise too, and they like it. some groups of 3 or 4 by a weir, or lock... water flow


I'm not happy with the same word used too often, all lover. call me. call us. call me back. why you want to change your name to 'back'? I prefer your original name.

every TV advert includes Call us. call us now!

My main use of this word would be rebranding. AT&T? 
Where is the engineering in the syntax of 'call'? cable & wireless written on my despicable desk phone 

what I mean, in summary. think of the word. what goes through your mind?

naturally, an emergency, desperate need for assistance. anything else?
If I wanted to tell someone something they didn't know - a primary purpose. info. there can be interchange of info using voice. I can be up for it. 
just when between unknown people so distant is a concern. haven't met, can't see, too difficult. A threat. not a treat. initiated by one person. the other person under pressure to do their bit.

a few metres away from a person in a restaurant, we know each other and can see now, no problem calling them. still uncomfortable with that verb. might include words such as You & I... need, want.. I wanna tell You this... 

call = shout!?

I speak to psychologists while.. preening their desk phone... no problem with electronics... people! What?!

mish-mash whether in same room or different country.. same language, or different.. by wire... all things equivalent... what is said and what is understood is The problem.


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## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

Awesome!


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

*callinnngggg?*

for?

about?

as

Callyfornicaa

hell. oh

all the blazing action words

what recruiters do

"I am loooookinnggg fooorrr...."
that's all they ever say. I don't wish to know what they do. want an employer. not how they tend to use a toilet

what tools they use? fingas? not eyes? or vice versa. just their earpiece for screaming torture
fist, or throttle? whiplash


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

*everyone calls a TV camera You*

always

all the time

we... humans
need.. people

so do You

people need this machine
the car they're driving

the face looking at you and speaking to you

whole spiel pivoting around You

is this some underground, garage psychology?

whether a decent, worthy documentary episode
if discussing personal matters, but reflecting the viewer being You

or just commercial advert
getting You to spend money on something...

probably reaping endless dividends

my perfect heavenly job would be operating a TV camera


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## ShatteredGlass (Oct 12, 2012)

That's great! You see how great it is to reap the longer term, not directly social benefits of doing stuff like this? That's what you need to focus on when you're dealing with social anxiety. Think of the goal.

Good job!


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Good for you!

You're in good company as most of the people on SAS are terrified by phones. One woman will only allow me to text her, as calling & talking is too much for her to handle, even though she has me me in person and we did things vastly more intimate than chat.

I am currently enjoying calls with another long-time SAS member who returned to the board and who actually likes me. I asked her if she would consider relocating if things worked out between us. She said yes to that idea, even though I presented it rather prematurely.

I'm actually pretty good on the phone, though there are literally hundreds of SAS members who don't know that despite having my number.

I am a fine conversationalist who can speak at length on just about any topic you want & I even listen (I hear many men a a deficiency in that area). PM me if you want my number. I open about talking about anything.

Karl (Sounds silly to call me UltraShy in a conversation.)


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## TheInvisibleHand (Sep 5, 2015)

@UltraShy 
How much did u pay to get unbanned?


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

*solved it all*

ring.

better word
but I don't like it

people like to add 'up!' to it
this is deityous?

bell? what's right for these times?
get through to someone


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

UltraShy said:


> Good for you!
> 
> You're in good company as most of the people on SAS are terrified by phones. One woman will only allow me to text her, as calling & talking is too much for her to handle, even though she has me me in person and we did things vastly more intimate than chat.
> 
> ...


I thought about calling you while you were banned - to cheer you up. But I was too afraid.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

scarpia said:


> I thought about calling you while you were banned - to cheer you up. But I was too afraid.


Afraid of what?

Don't recall giving you my number, but I've given it out so many times that I certainly don't recall everyone who has it.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

TheInvisibleHand said:


> @UltraShy
> How much did u pay to get unbanned?


$0.00


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Richard Pawgins said:


> What's a phonecall?


What humans did prior to texting. I hate texting with a passion.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

I can tell you the vast bulk of SAS members who ever called me required alcohol either before and/or during the call to calm their nerves.

Everybody had this odd notion that I'm scary, when I'm am not the least bit scary on the phone. I'm very easy to chat with, and calls typically go on for quite a long while.


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## Tongue Twisted (Mar 23, 2017)

I'm so happy for you! You were super brave doing that.

I still find phone calls really scary but I find it gets better the more I do.


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## marsia (Mar 22, 2016)

:yay:yayI didn't have a phone in the house growing up until I was a teen, so I am not very comfortable with them either. I completely understand only calling if you absolutely have to! And you did!!!! Huge congratulations!:yay:yay


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## quietrosie (Mar 23, 2017)

well done! That kind of makes two of us because today during my therapy my therapist made me call another therapist next door pretending that i was asking where i need to send my CV to their company. Even though I knew it was fake and so did the other person I still got a lot of anxiety and stumbled on my words even when it was just like less than a minute long, but it's a step none the less so I'm feeling quite happy


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Anyone who wants my new number can PM me.

Many probably still have my old number that has been dead since last fall.

Karl


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## michaelthedepressedmess (Apr 27, 2017)

I'm so proud of you! Phone calls can be so intimidating! Good job. You kick that phones butt. Happy for you.


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## Richard Pawgins (Jul 11, 2013)

UltraShy said:


> What humans did prior to texting. I hate texting with a passion.


well then you'd hate me because I'm the type to know someone for 10 years and the whole time only interact through text


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