# My Video Tips Series - Towards Social Confidence



## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

Hi guys,

So I was doing the "Video Diary" thing, which i'd started about 8 months ago I believe. That was useful I think for some people, myself included, but the videos started to become a big ramble of all the different stuff I was doing, and were just too long in my opinion.

So I'm now starting this new thread, where I'll be posting a couple of videos a week at least, with each video being on 1 helpful thing that I have learnt. These videos will have something that you can use to potentially try in your own life, and increase your comfort and confidence, and move towards getting to a place of social confidence and overcoming "SA".

As I keep saying, please give me feedback, ask me questions, or just say "Thanks" if it's helping you, because that pushes me and motivates me to keep putting out good content.

If I don't feel that what I'm doing is worth it (not enough feedback) then there's not much point in me doing it.

So let me know!! 

So here's my introductory video:






If you missed the old thread on the video diary, you can catch up on it here:

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...gress-2-social-confidence-video-diary-185997/

Thanks guys!!

Nick


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

Hey guys,

Here's a video I created on how to do basic EFT tapping to release unwanted negative emotion (including anxiety) in the moment.

This is very useful if you're wound up about something that happened during the day, or something you know you have to do and it's making you feel anxious...

EFT has been a life saver for me more than once now, and has turned around some really bad states of hopelessness and depression for me quite quickly.

For that reason, I thought it was one of the first things I should share with you 

Here's the video (sorry about the slight bit missing at the start):






Here is a brief history of EFT:

http://www.frot.co.nz/eft/history.htm

AND be sure to check out the originator's (Gary Craig) website:

http://www.emofree.com/


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## tobi08 (Dec 29, 2008)

Hi Nick,

i like your introduction video you seem to have made a lot of progress and it seems that your anxiety is quite reduced now.
Ive tried this EFT System by Sebastiaan in 2010 and i honestly put at least 2 hours work in it each day. And i couldnt release even 1 trauma with EFT no matter how specific i tried to be... eventhough sebastiaan is a genuine guy i think he also wasnt a very tough case with his SAD,
everyone is different but i can say that ive been traumatized a lot and im very disconnected from my feelings of trauma thats why its hard for me to locate the feelings and clear the trauma completely, sure there were temporary shifts after each session but the next day it all came back. I have really sabotaging core beliefs like "im not likeable, no one can love me" or "i deserve to not be respected"....
I could get more in detail here but i dont want to give your thread a negative note as i see that you want to genuinenly help us.

can you make please a video as how bad your social anxiety and depression was before EFT and how that all changed with EFT? Tell us your story. That would be nice to hear.


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

*thanks for your reply *

Hi mate,

Thanks for your reply 

I've answered you below in *Bold*.

Hi Nick,

i like your introduction video you seem to have made a lot of progress and it seems that your anxiety is quite reduced now.

*Thanks man, I'm not "there" yet, but I'm making progress. Did you watch my older videos on my other thread to know to compare to? or are you just making that general statement "your anxiety is quite reduced now." ?*

Ive tried this EFT System by Sebastiaan in 2010 and i honestly put at least 2 hours work in it each day.

*For how long? did you get personal assistance from Sebastiaan? Also the system has evolved quite a lot even since I joined and got access, and that was only at the start of 2012. He really understands SAD very well now, and has it pretty well worked out in terms of what to do, and when, and all the potential reasons things aren't working (you're not getting lower SUDS as you tap) aswell as common resistance patterns and reasons. *

And i couldnt release even 1 trauma with EFT no matter how specific i tried to be... eventhough sebastiaan is a genuine guy i think he also wasnt a very tough case with his SAD,

*Sounds like a "targeting" problem, as in you either didn't target the right part of the trauma memory to release it, or there were other aspects, or your focus was skipping around a lot and you didn't do it for long enough, or you just didn't persist long enough to gradually lower the intensity of the trauma. There are many troubleshooting steps to why tapping is not working on a S.E.E. (Significant emotional event - as they're labeled in the system)

Also, I think Seb was a tough case in his own right, it's probably just hard to see that in him now, as he's completely self accepting and socially confident. From the work that he's done with this system, I find it hard to believe that he wasn't in pretty deep.*

everyone is different but i can say that ive been traumatized a lot and im very disconnected from my feelings of trauma thats why its hard for me to locate the feelings and clear the trauma completely, sure there were temporary shifts after each session but the next day it all came back.

*Sounds like dissociation to me, and there ARE ways to get around that and work with your traumas using EFT, even if you experience this. You just might need to get a really good EFT practitioner to work with you to help with this. Check out this article:*

http://www.eftuniverse.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=9224

*Also, if it came back, that just means there's another layer of the onion, another tissue in the box. It doesn't mean that nothing happened, and no healing took place. As you're probably aware by now, this **** takes work and persistence. EFT works though, you just have to persist and target things in the right way.*

I have really sabotaging core beliefs like "im not likeable, no one can love me" or "i deserve to not be respected"....

*I understand, I still have some pretty screwed up similar beliefs. At the end of the day though, beliefs are just beliefs, and they can be changed and you can change the way you feel about these things, along with your automatic perceptions (beliefs). So saying "but I've got THESE beliefs" is not really a good enough excuse not to try again with the system if you ask me... Just saying* 

I could get more in detail here but i dont want to give your thread a negative note as i see that you want to genuinenly help us.

*Don't worry about getting too negative, that's what we're all here for, to heal our wounds and grow past it. Healing is positive* 

can you make please a video as how bad your social anxiety and depression was before EFT and how that all changed with EFT? Tell us your story. That would be nice to hear.

*Even if I was completely there and 100% healed, that would be hard, but I most definitely will keep you guys updated as I get better and better, just keep watching my videos, and you'll probably notice me improving.

As I said before, I'm still a work in progress, I'm not "there" yet. My personal criteria for being healed, is to be basically happy with myself, basically confident in most situations, and feel at ease and able to express "who I really am" with no BS, when I'm around people. Also, to be there, I'd need to have the social life that I desire, or at least feel like I was now able to create it. So no, there's still lots of work to be done.

By the way, I'm not even a 1/3 into the Social confidence system yet, I restarted after getting about the same way through, as Sebastiaan updated the order and added a whole bunch of new stuff. The current order of healing is much better in my opinion, and results will come faster giving greater belief and motivation.
*


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## tobi08 (Dec 29, 2008)

Hey mate,

thanks for the link. How much time do you need for clearing an S.E.E.? I was often working on the same S.E.E.(significant emotional event) for a week or so each day for 2 hours. I tried and tried it for 3 months everyday... and i tried also Sebastiaans coaching and he coached me for more than one year. But at the beginning of 2012 i found another therapist and i decided to leave that EFT for awhile and try another approach. This other approach hasnt worked so far either, i also try to clear the trauma with my new therapist. But we use a breathing technqiue were i fully feel the pain and breath it in and breath it out. This is also a form of healing.

yeah i dont know if i would be persisistent again with sebastiaans system than maybe this time it could work better and i really get some results. But therer are still the trauma which i need to clear and this is hard for me - it takes so much time and it is energy draining and than i proably cant clear it to 0 and im starting from 0 the next day with the same trauma. Im lacking motivation because i tried so often and failed... thats why i couldnt do this tapping everyday for 1-2 hours... only if i would be really convinced that it works.
Also im doing other therapy stuff allready - meditating each day for one hour and listening to thinkrightnow "Real Self Esteem", which usually takes 1-3 hours until i can relax.

you seem to be relaxed for an SA sufferer, i havent seen your other videos so its just my first impression. 
Keep going


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

Hi guys!

Today I have a book review for you of sorts, it's a book that I really think is important for anyone on their journey of becoming fully at peace.

Here's the video:






Any comments, thoughts and feedback is much appreciated 

Thanks,

Nick


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## jcmp7754 (Jan 4, 2013)

I started watching your videos today. I am hopeful that it will work for me as it did for you!


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

jcmp7754 said:


> I started watching your videos today. I am hopeful that it will work for me as it did for you!


YAY!!

Thanks so much for posting, you have no idea how much I appreciate it 

Please do let me know how you find the EFT video, and your results.

Remember to start off with something not too hardcore to start with, like maybe just general anxiety of the moment.


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## jcmp7754 (Jan 4, 2013)

Sure thing! I did feel noticeably better after my first try...so im definitly going to tune in for more of yoir vids!


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

jcmp7754 said:


> Sure thing! I did feel noticeably better after my first try...so im definitly going to tune in for more of yoir vids!


AWESOME.

Now you have proven to yourself experientially that EFT works, learn as much as you can about it, and more importantly, start using it on EVERYTHING, and your life will change drastically for the better, I promise you.

It's now up to you, you decide to do it and get free, or you don't and you keep suffering. No pressure 

And great, please do watch my other vids, as I'll have some other powerful stuff to share, but I really want you to get how powerful EFT is.

You can absolutely change your life, just with EFT alone, so don't wait for me or any other information, start taking action!!

My best wishes,

Nick


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## NewDayRising (Jul 8, 2006)

Hi Nick. I've watched your clip on basic EFT tapping, twice, and both times it calmed me down a little. I'm going to keep trying it and see if it helps with my SA. Thanks!


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

NewDayRising said:


> Hi Nick. I've watched your clip on basic EFT tapping, twice, and both times it calmed me down a little. I'm going to keep trying it and see if it helps with my SA. Thanks!


Awesome!!

Good job  so now you know EFT works, now it's just a matter of correct targeting to release whatever emotional problem or beliefs you're dealing with.

As I mention over and over on this forum to others, you'd really be wise to learn as much as possible about EFT as you can, and start using it. There's plenty enough free information on the more complex uses of it on the net, you just have to look around (Google)

Thanks for your feedback!!!

Nick


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## MoonForge (Sep 15, 2012)

Hello, i watched your introduction video and i liked it a lot  You come across as an honest and open uhm speaker? or is it spokesman? (not sure now to be honest) to me! So i just wanted to say that i'll definetly consider watching more of your videos when i can, because i'm not very capable of that for the time being : x

Oh and good luck and have a nice day!


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

*Towards Social Confidence - Worry Killer! Advanced Cognitive Therapy*

Hi Guys,

This video is a little different... But if you find yourself getting into obsessive patterns of thought where you keep worrying about how someone might have perceived you, etc, then this script *could REALLY HELP YOU*.

Watch the video, then use the script below:






Basically you just take the general idea of this script, and "plug in" your own worry, and you'll find it's very effective for stopping your mind obsessing about something. It's kind of like creating to many arguments against your subject of obsessive worry, so that your mind can start to see other possibilities, instead of getting stuck and looping obsessively.

Try it out, and let me know what you think:

*(NOTE - tweak it and make it your own, but using something like this can kill your obsessive worry loops - You may also want to replace "he/she" with a specific person's name to make it more personal to your situation.)*

_Even if I could read his/her mind, which I can't - and even if he/she was judging me negatively, which I don't know because I can't read his/her mind - and even if her judgements (which I don't know he/she had, because I can't read her mind) in that moment had any relevance to my behaviour in that moment in time, they wouldn't have any relevance to me as a whole person - and even if his/her perception was that my behaviour in that moment in time was a fair and whole representation of my entire being ( which is Impossible) then I'd have to recognise that one persons perception is not everyone's perception - and I'd have to question why I'd had all these experiences that disprove the perception as ultimate truth. Amen _


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## JustSmileZee (Nov 16, 2012)

FantAstic idea I look forward to checking up on the incoming videos


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

New Video!!

Basic needs are SOOOO important, watch the video to see what i'm saying:


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

bumping for anyone who might find helpful


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

I will have to post another video again soon, just not really sure what to talk about...

Any one with any ideas on what they'd like to hear, please do share


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

Okay, new video!

I'm discussing my experience with exercises/fitness, and how doing it on a consistent and regular basis is working out for me.






I'll be posting more videos again shortly, I plan to get back on track with posting regular tips and things that are helping me move forward to social confidence.

Thanks for watching guys


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## Bawsome (Jan 8, 2013)

I gotta take up running! im just so awkward though. but your right it will help me with my confidence, increase my energy levels and make me more assertive physically. i just got to get past the initial first steps!!


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

Bawsome said:


> i just got to get past the initial first steps!!


Stop thinking and DO.

No amount of thinking will ever be enough.

Like Nike says "just do it" as cheesy as it is, you just have to stop trying to be perfect and start doing.

Nuff said


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## stewartoo7 (Mar 6, 2013)

being doing a hour of exercise every day now and it does help out


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## das (Mar 14, 2013)

I have really damaging main principles like "im not likeable, no one can really like me" or "i are eligible to to not be respected".... I could get more in information here but i don't want to offer your range a bad notice as i see that you want to genuinenly help us.


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

das said:


> I have really damaging main principles like "im not likeable, no one can really like me" or "i are eligible to to not be respected".... I could get more in information here but i don't want to offer your range a bad notice as i see that you want to genuinenly help us.


Hey Das,

These are commonly known as negative beliefs, or limiting beliefs, or just beliefs plain simple.

I've got some stuff already lined up that could help you with this. Basically you'll need to change your programming (beliefs) to new, empowering and positive beliefs that support your growth and the direction that you want to move in.

This CAN be done.

I'm still learning myself, but I've got some great stuff to share with you and everyone else here, so please do keep tuned into my videos.

I'll be posting a new video every 2-3 days from now on, at least I really hope to.

Check back soon!

Thanks,

Nick


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

New video.

*The Link Between Compulsive Behaviours And Mood Problems/Low Self Esteem*

(Please remember, a lot of this video is my own observation, not proven psychological fact, but just hear me out, and see if it applies to your own life  )






Video Notes:

video about the link between compulsive behaviours and anxiety/depression/low self esteem

May or may not apply to you if you have anxiety or other mood issues, but worth watching

Reminder: The following is mainly my thoughts

so whether you choose to agree or not is fine. While I've read info on this being an issue, I just really believe these are the effects of compulsive behaviour

some examples of compulsive behaviours that are pretty common:

spending too long on the computer, or browsing aimlessly like youtube

checking things that you've checked recently, and have no good reason to check again so soon (email, facebook, certain accounts online, your bank account, etc)

spending too much time in a certain area or place for no real reason (for example your room)

staying in bed for an exagerated amount of time, when you know you should or need to get up

eating when you're not hungry

the list goes on... (look at your own life)

compulsive behaviours lower your self esteem

compulsive behaviours subconsciously program you to believe
you're not in control of your own self and your own life

most compulsive behaviours are not healthy in and of themselves

Don't want to go on too long

Again, look at your own life, see where you're "out of control" and not directing your own behaviour. In these cases, you're virtually a slave of that compulsive part of yourself, and this lowers self esteem, etc, big time as discussed above

I believe definite link between compulsion and low self esteem, mood problems

See if it applies to your own life, and if it does write down the things that you're doing that are compulsive and are probably not healthy for your mind or emotions

Thanks for watching

Reminder, much more good stuff coming soon!!

So keep checking this thread


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

*The Benefits of Meditation*






*Benefits of meditation*:

* relaxation

* less reactivity in thoughts and behaviour

* less frustration

* increased detachment from thoughts and beliefs

* better ability to concentrate

* stabilizes mood and emotions

* makes you feel more in control of your self and your actions


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

About my experience meeting somone off the forum 






Stop stalking me Mrs.... you know you were!!!


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## Ashley11 (Jan 10, 2013)

Hey Nick,

I just watched your videos, It has inspired me a lot. You are doing good here. Keep Sharing more stuff like this. While browsing youtube I also watched 1 more video which is really going to help me a lot. sharing the link with you, have a look.


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

Ashley11 said:


> Hey Nick,
> 
> I just watched your videos, It has inspired me a lot. You are doing good here. Keep Sharing more stuff like this. While browsing youtube I also watched 1 more video which is really going to help me a lot. sharing the link with you, have a look.


Thanks Ashley!!

I really appreciate you letting me know that it's inspired you, that's AWESOME!

It really does give me a little boost everytime someone gives me some positive feedback, as I said, even if what I ramble on about only helps a few people, that's sooo good.

Makes me feel like I'm doing this for a reason!! 

Thanks again!!!


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

*2 Important Principles For Any Long Term Change*

A couple of things that I think are really important to keep in mind when you're trying to make any lasting changes in your life, especially when it comes to mental attitude, emotional changes, overcoming emotional problems of any nature, etc, etc.

Hope it helps! : )

Here's my video about it


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

Video coming soon that's about some naughty, but very helpful stuff I've been up to recently....


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## das (Mar 14, 2013)

das said:


> I have really damaging main principles like "im not likeable, no one can really like me" or "i are eligible to to not be respected".... I could get more in information here but i don't want to offer your range a bad notice as i see that you want to genuinenly help us.


Premierfitnessolutions​


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

Wow, I've made a LOT of progress since I last posted on this thread...


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## oryx (Aug 17, 2014)

hi. thanks for the videos. i watched several of them with particular interest on the eft one as i have been looking for some type of 'bodywork' to release this energy inside. i will keep on trying and see how it helps in different situations. i think it did make an improvement on the two times i have tried it. i first got interested in doing something with energy inside the body after reading peter levine's waking the tiger book which is about trauma. the affirmations and positive psychology were not working too well since the feeling/energy inside my body was just too overwhelming/repetitive/exhausting, so i am looking for methods to deal with this. 

it seems to me that eft is just part of the equation for you, and you have other videos explaining compulsions, hierarchy of needs, etc. is it because eft can release all the anxiety, but one still needs to build social skills? i am just wondering how does eft fit in all this puzzle of 'overcoming social anxiety' for you? and what other things are your strategies of choice to overcome this? as i start re-looking at overcoming/understanding more about sas, the number of techniques i read about can be overwhelming.


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