# Would you date someone who doesn't drive?



## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

Would you date someone who doesn't drive? I'm not talking about someone who doesn't have a car but rather a person who did not learn how to drive. This could be for a few reasons -- fear of being in an accident, lack of confidence in operating a car, the cost of owning a car, no need to drive due to the availability of public transportation, etc. When considering this, assume that you'd then be doing all the driving on dates (if you in fact drive) unless your date could meet you via public transportation. Another thing to consider is the possibility that your date could kick in some money for gas once in a while.

I've divided the poll above by gender because I want to get both opinions. I'd appreciate it if you'd also explain why you feel this way. Thanks.


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## strawberryjulius (Jun 28, 2009)

I don't drive yet myself so I'd be a bit of a hypocrite if I didn't. :b


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## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

The further away from massive transit, the more status cars have. When I lived in a bedroom community with little walkability or bus routes, everyone with a car reigned king. When working in San Francisco it was the opposite. Many people of all ages, backgrounds and income brackets opted out of a car, because parking is a nightmare and transit is so much more efficient.


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## yellowpaper (Nov 13, 2007)

I wouldn't date someone who doesn't drive because we'd have no way of getting anywhere. It's hypocritical, yeah. I do drive short distances...


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

strawberryjulius said:


> I don't drive yet myself so I'd be a bit of a hypocrite if I didn't. :b


Same for me. Don't have a license, but think there's a lot less focus on it here


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## CeilingStarer (Dec 29, 2009)

It's about the last thing in the world I'd care about.


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## rincewind (Sep 7, 2009)

I wouldn't care at all.



zephys said:


> Same for me. Don't have a license, but think there's a lot less focus on it here


I know what you mean - I travel to Copenhagen quite often and I'm always amazed at the number of bikes on the roads!


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## Kelly (Dec 12, 2003)

Even if you live in an area where mass transit makes getting around easy, you still need to know how to drive. It's a basic skill and you never know when you're going to need to use it.

Have a nice day,
Kelly


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

Kelly said:


> Even if you live in an area where mass transit makes getting around easy, you still need to know how to drive. It's a basic skill and you never know when you're going to need to use it.
> 
> Have a nice day,
> Kelly


33 years and I've never needed to drive anywhere. I've always had friends or family to help out when the public transportation system failed me(which is almost never). If I had to rush someone to the hospital or something, I could manage it. But a fear of driving is often associated with people who have SA/OCD/etc. It's just one of those things that petrifies some of us so much that we'd rather sit next to 40 random people on a bus than suffer the idea of getting into an accident.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

You're right, path0gen; the fear of an accident is my main reason for not driving. I just can't bear the idea of causing an accident and injuring myself or someone else. I know my personality and how poor I am in clutch situations and since every turn and intersection while driving is a clutch situation, I know I would have problems with it. I can't say that I don't need to drive (bus transportation in my area is pretty adequate but not excellent) or that it wouldn't improve my quality of life but the fact is that I can't do it. I realize this is a huge detriment in terms of wanting to date but oh well.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

well, in this city, like in most city we have public transport. There's no need for a car.

I would date someone who doesn't drive. That kind of stuff is meaningless to me.


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## JFmtl (Dec 23, 2008)

I would not really care, I prefer to drive anyway, I am much more anxious when i'm the passenger of a car. When I learned to drive, I was very anxious about it (causing an accident and such) but with time i got more comfortable. 

However, I would not want to become a personal chauffeur, and in the case there is some distance between us, I would not want to be the want who always has to drive either. So I see advantages for the driving girls, but that is not a deal breaker thing. 

Also where I live, the public transport offer is average (not that great, since it's in the suburbs, compared to Montréal itself) so when you get a car, you are much more independant transport wise. It's very hard to go back to buses after you had a car, wait 20-30 minutes in the wind and snow for your bus to come and telling yourself you would already be home with a car.

I would also think however that driving is an important skill, even if you don't need to drive for the moment. Unless you are absoloutly sure that you will live in a major city with a very good public transport offer, and you are sure that your job and future jobs will never require you to go to places where the public transport is not efficient or not existent. If you have to move to a small town with none or bad public transport, you might get tired of always have to beg for a lift when you want to go somewhere. Also, the younger you learn it, the better it is IMO, getting driving lessons and passing exams during office hours might not be the best when you are older.


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

Yes, but half of our dates would be driving lessons!  My boyfriend taught me how to drive at 22y/o-- I'd be more than happy to teach someone else. 

Even if you rely on public transport, driving is a necessary "life skill." Unless, that is, you plan on living in cities for your whole life. Very limiting, IMHO.


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## Deathinmusic (Jun 5, 2009)

I'm a man. Got no license. Wouldn't really matter if she didn't either.


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## EagerMinnow84 (Sep 1, 2007)

I am scared of driving. If I lived in the country I wouldn't but in the city, it makes me nervous. It is way to expensive to own a car in this city. Parking downtown is $4.25 an hour and over 3 dollars in neighborhood areas is reason enough not to own a car in this city.


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## timmytim7 (Feb 15, 2009)

i hate cars 

so anyway the answer is yes


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## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

I don't see any reason why I wouldn't, so sure. :yes


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## illlaymedown (Oct 6, 2009)

No, cause who would drive!? :lol





......I'm joking, although it'd be nice if they drove cause it scares me and I am having trouble paying off my car and cars have lots of fees, I would date someone who didn't, but I would hope they're at least trying to.


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## ~Jessie~ (Jan 22, 2007)

I don't have my licence due to the fear of dealing with accidents and costs of it all.. but would like to be able to drive at some point soon. It would be _nice_ to date someone who does but it honestly doesn't matter much to me if they can or cannot drive.

Like what Neptunus said, the dating would probably consist of alot of lessons and to me personally I find that more interesting than to go out with someone who already knows how. 

I wish to travel a bit in my future so driving is an important thing for me but in terms of dating, I really don't mind if they can or can't so suppose this is a long drawn out yes answer lol


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

i dont know. i would hate to have someone to depend on me to drive her around. i probably wouldnt date someone that doesnt have a car.


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## Louis (Jun 30, 2009)

I would I usually prefer to take cabs anyway since I end up drinking. Still I could drive if needed.


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## Kelly (Dec 12, 2003)

path0gen said:


> 33 years and I've never needed to drive anywhere. *I've always had friends or family to help out when the public transportation system failed me(which is almost never).* If I had to rush someone to the hospital or something, I could manage it. But a fear of driving is often associated with people who have SA/OCD/etc. It's just one of those things that petrifies some of us so much that we'd rather sit next to 40 random people on a bus than suffer the idea of getting into an accident.


The bolded part is the main problem. It's not our friends and families' problem to deal with us when we need to sponge rides off of them. It's an inconvenience for them. My aunt has never gotten her driver's license and her kids have spent their lives shuttling her around town. It's not fair to them and it's selfish of her to assume they will just drop everything to cater to her needs.

I know SA makes it harder for us to do everyday, normal things, but part of dealing with our SA is to learn how to do those everyday, normal things in spite of our SA.

With regard to emergencies, when my mother had a heart attack, my brother drove her to the hospital in record time. To this day, he won't tell anyone how fast he was going. It was dangerous for him, an experienced driver to drive like that. But can you imagine if an inexperienced driver or someone who had never driven before had to drive to the hospital in an emergency? Would you want to be on the road with that person? The scenario isn't a good one. The inexperienced driver could kill someone, or not make it to the hospital on time, or cause a horrible accident.

Learning to drive is a basic skill that everyone should have. Yes, SA makes doing everyday normal stuff harder. But that doesn't make SA an excuse for not doing the everyday normal stuff.

People in this thread who can't drive should seriously think about getting their license, even if they think they'll never have to use it again. It's one of those things to have on backup, in case it's needed. Then post about it in Triumphs as an encouragement to us all. It'd be a great way of telling SA to f off.

Have a nice day,
Kelly


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

My bf doesn't have his full licence yet. It's not really a problem. Even if he did have a licence, he wouldn't have a car anyway.

Still, it would be nice if he could drive to see me. Sometimes it's inconvenient having to rely on bad Canadian public transit.


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## EagerMinnow84 (Sep 1, 2007)

I don't drive because of SA. I drive because as long as I am in the city, I am not going to own a car. It is 75 dollars extra in rent to park the car in the garage plus all of the other expenses that, when living in a city with a bus stop pretty much right outside of my apartment, I do not need. If I am out late and the buses are no longer running, I take a cab. There are an insane amount of cabs out after 10 o'clock so it isn't a problem. If I move, sure I will get a drivers license but I won't now.


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

Unless she expects me to chauffeur her around, I don't think I'd really care.


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

I can't imagine not dating a girl simply based on whether she drives or not. Of course, it would depend on a lot of factors, like if she lives in the city and uses public transport, what her financial status is, if she has some kind of disability that prevents her from being able to use a vehicle. In the end, I don't think it would be a big deal for me.


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## Cleary (Nov 10, 2007)

I don't drive either.

the public transportation kinda sucks here, so we might have some trouble with getting together and going out. and that creates additional stress because I would have to rely on family members for that.


So...uh, probably not. I'd rather stay single.


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## Cedilla (Dec 25, 2009)

Location is really really important here. My last GF did not drive, we only dated for a couple of months, but it was really putting a strain on me, because she lived an hour away from me.

Where I live public transport does not exist(only slightly exaggerating). I live near a city of about 200,000, with a bunch of surrounding towns and unincorporated communities, but besides that its rural out here, and going anywhere involves a lengthy drive.

For me its not a deal breaker, but I have a very strong preference for a mobile chick.


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## Dane (Jul 27, 2009)

I would date someone who didn't drive as long as they were willing to learn. I live in the country and not driving just isn't an option.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

I don't know. I certainly don't want to become anyone's personal cab driver. Like others have said, driving is a pretty important skill that everyone should know regardless. I don't want somebody being dependent on me for such a basic life skill.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Anybody notice that women are a lot more picky about who'll they'll date? Only one guy would reject a woman on this basis up to this point, while 9 women would reject a guy for this (even though less women voted).

The issue has never come up for me, but it wouldn't stop me. Not driving would make her odd enough that perhaps she'd better understand my quirks, of which there are many.

I think she should learn how to drive and I'd be willing to teach her since I have an automatic that anybody could easily drive. Teaching driving on a stick is a nightmare.


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## whiterabbit (Jan 20, 2006)

I've never really thought of driving as a basic life skill before. I live in a city, which I assume I'll be living in all my life, with plenty of public transport and taxis, and I also like to walk. I never bother anyone to drive me anywhere. I think if you can afford to not depend on a car, then it's better not to have one. I suppose there's no harm in learning the skill, but I doubt I'll ever bother. So, yes, I would date somebody who couldn't drive. I guess it all depends on where you live but even if I thought driving was very important I doubt I'd reject somebody just because they couldn't drive.


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## tutliputli (Feb 22, 2009)

whiterabbit said:


> I've never really thought of driving as a basic life skill before. I live in a city, which I assume I'll be living in all my life, with plenty of public transport and taxis, and I also like to walk. I never bother anyone to drive me anywhere. I think if you can afford to not depend on a car, then it's better not to have one. I suppose there's no harm in learning the skill, but I doubt I'll ever bother. So, yes, I would date somebody who couldn't drive. I guess it all depends on where you live but even if I thought driving was very important I doubt I'd reject somebody just because they couldn't drive.


This is me too. It's not something I even think about TBH.


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## mind_games (Nov 30, 2008)

tutliputli said:


> This is me too. It's not something I even think about TBH.


:yes


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## whiterabbit (Jan 20, 2006)

I'm sorry, I've just realised my last post was a bit stupid. I would still date somebody who couldn't drive, but as for it not being a basic life skill...well, when it comes to looking for work I'm really ****ing myself over by not being able to drive. It's not so much travelling to and from work that's the problem, but more that I shouldn't really be cutting myself off from opportunities for work where driving is part of the actual job e.g. delivery driver. Since I really struggle to find work due to a lack of experience and skills, the least I should really be doing is learning how to drive. I still maintain that in day-to-day life I don't need to but, yeah, I'm an idiot. I just thought I'd add that, even though it's all off topic.


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

Why in the world should I put other people's safety/life at risk just because I am a nervous *******? I think it would be irresponsible of me to drive.

Kelly, I don't drive but I don't "sponge" for rides. I never ask for rides to anywhere for the most part. People don't really mind driving me around. Sometimes people tell me that I need to learn how to drive but that's the most I ever have to deal with anymore. It was a lot worse in the past. 

There are plenty of other people driving cars. The world isn't going to suffer because I don't drive. If it bothers people, f--- 'em. I'm not driving.


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## KumagoroBeam (Sep 15, 2008)

I've never even thought about this... I think if I ever meet someone I liked and that person liked me too, I wouldn't ask any further questions. I guess I'm not very picky.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Yes, I would date someone who doesn't drive.

I know how to drive (learned several years ago), but don't have a license. I couldn't pass the road test which I failed three times. It caused me tremendous stress and anxiety each time I took it (the main stressor being the examiner in the car right with me), and I credit my ridiculous amount of nervousness with each of those failures.

Here in Ontario, it's not as simple as walking into a driving test place, taking a test, and getting your license. No. You have to go in and take a written exam. Then you have to wait a year before taking your first road test. You pass that, get a restricted license, and then wait another year to take your highway test. You pass that and you get your full license. And you have to do all the above within a five-year period or else you have to start over.

I gave up on it. I don't drive. If that's a dealbreaker for someone, oh well. I don't need them. There are plenty of others out there. 

Maybe I'll try for the license sometime again in the future, but it isn't happening any time soon.


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

Kelly said:


> It's not our friends and families' problem to deal with us when we need to sponge rides off of them.


Does everyone need two cars, then, in case their main one breaks down? A breakdown seems more likely than public transit suddenly becoming unavailable in a place where it's normally available.

As far as emergencies, that's what you call an ambulance for. Speeding recklessly to the hospital in your own car without sirens just gets people killed.

I drive, but I wouldn't ask anyone else to.


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## Cubie (Jan 6, 2010)

*I would definally date a man who doesn't drive..it would be so rude just to not date a guy who doesn't drive. You dont know whats going on in their life..maybe they dont have enough money for a car yet. Not everybody has it like that. ~QB*


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## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

I would date a woman that doesn't drive but they would have to live reasonably close if i was gonna do all the driving.


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## Kelly (Dec 12, 2003)

BeNice said:


> Kelly, I don't drive but I don't "sponge" for rides. I never ask for rides to anywhere for the most part. People don't really mind driving me around. Sometimes people tell me that I need to learn how to drive but that's the most I ever have to deal with anymore. It was a lot worse in the past.


You of all people on this board should understand the limitations that result from an inability to drive.

And it's good that you have a support network that doesn't seem to mind driving you around. But what happens if you lose that network for some reason?



Hoth said:


> Does everyone need two cars, then, in case their main one breaks down? A breakdown seems more likely than public transit suddenly becoming unavailable in a place where it's normally available.


This makes no sense whatsoever. There is a huge difference between helping a family member (for example) during a temporary difficulty/emergency than having someone live their daily life completely independent upon you.

And you'd still have the satisfaction of knowing that if someone couldn't help you out of your temporary problem, then you could handle a rental car.

Have a nice day,
Kelly


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

I like to drive, so I don't mind.


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

Kelly said:


> You of all people on this board should understand the limitations that result from an inability to drive.


The limitations don't bother me. I forget what they were, though. I never really think about it. People tend to say "you can do what you want", "you can go off on your own", "you have more job opportunities", etc. Well, I just go for walks and ride my bike. I'm relatively happy. Off the top of my head, there aren't that many things that I want to do but can't because of not driving. I save money by not doing things, too, especially considering the price of gas. The job opportunities don't concern me. I probably don't want them. Anyway, if I have to drive 30 miles every day for a job that I would supposedly like, that is kind of a waste to me. I've come to appreciate the limitations. There's too many people out driving their cars all over the place, being busy bodied wage-slaves, climbing the economic latter. I'll just stay here at the bottom doing less, consuming less, and contributing less. I'll take it easy while everyone climbs ahead of me with their lives that have been made so much better by their cars.

I don't know about losing that network. There isn't too much of one. Everyone that matters lives within 10 miles. There is also a train that runs up the coast. It also helps that I enjoy biking and don't mind riding in cold weather. It can only get better, too. I only really plan on living in places that are more suitable for me in the future. I'm not planning on moving to the Midwest anytime soon. I also plan on public transportation getting better as I get older. Also, I just don't care. I'm not really worried about my non-driver status. If anything, I embrace it.


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

Just Lurking said:


> Here in Ontario, it's not as simple as walking into a driving test place, taking a test, and getting your license. No. You have to go in and take a written exam. Then you have to wait a year before taking your first road test. You pass that, get a restricted license, and then wait another year to take your highway test. You pass that and you get your full license. And you have to do all the above within a five-year period or else you have to start over.
> 
> I gave up on it. I don't drive. If that's a dealbreaker for someone, oh well. I don't need them. There are plenty of others out there.


It should be hard. Too many people can drive. Cars are a mistake that we live with because our communities have been built around their existence. Our lifestyles are way too dependent on them.


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## Narcissus (Aug 28, 2007)

I'd prefer someone who does, since she'd have greater independence, but to require it upfront would be foolish on my part.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

I agree with you, BeNice. Since I'm able to take the bus, not driving isn't that big of a problem. When you add in the idea of dating while not being able to drive (especially for a man), it becomes a liability. The man is expected to pretty much do all the driving (and all the paying, but that's another discussion). Even if I could somehow force myself to learn to drive and get my license, I wouldn't drive with a passenger in the car because it'd be too much of a risk, so I could never pick up a date. Also, I'd never drive at night.

I actually think I could drive a motorcycle or scooter because I can ride a bike but sadly they are probably more dangerous than cars. My ideal vehicle would probably be a quad or tricycle-type cycle. One of my problems with cars is that you're on one side while you've got this whole behemoth of a right side to contend with. With motorcycles and the like, you're in the center. If go karts were street legal, I'd be off to the races.


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## Akane (Jan 2, 2008)

I wouldn't have a problem with both of us using public transportation. My husband spent 6months in japan where having a car is uncommon. Occasionally he had to walk an hour to the store from the train and an hour back carrying his groceries and then go to his apartment. I'm told he was in a lot better shape then from it lol In a situation like that it's a good thing and there'd be no use for a car.

Here it's just not possible. There is no public transportation unless you are in a town that's a 30min drive west of us. If you live there it's possible to get around without a car but still not always easy. Especially in winter. Most anywhere else you have to drive. If you want a job or the ability to leave your house you have to drive. No choice. It will take you all day walking or biking to get anywhere and again there's winter. You'd freeze to death. Anyone who didn't know how to drive here would also not have a life and I wouldn't want to date them for that reason.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

Yeah, Akane, I wouldn't mind meeting a date on a bus. The only problem is that when you leave your destination, you have to do so at a time that's coordinated to the arrival of your pick-up bus. And this would be especially important in my area at night when bus runs aren't as frequent.


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

Kelly said:


> This makes no sense whatsoever. There is a huge difference between helping a family member (for example) during a temporary difficulty/emergency than having someone live their daily life completely independent upon you.


Nobody is talking about living in the woods without a car. We're comparing living in a city with a public transportation system without a car to living with one. There no reason that somebody without a car should _ever_ need to depend on anyone else. Lots of people do it without ever begging rides from anyone.

You brought up the emergency scenario as if it were a reason for owning a car, which it isn't, since we have emergency services for that purpose.

_And you'd still have the satisfaction of knowing that if someone couldn't help you out of your temporary problem, then you could handle a rental car._

Except we can't all _get_ rental cars anyway. I tried once, they require more insurance than I have. On the other hand, anybody can catch a taxi if all the buses in town have exploded on the morning of the world's most important meeting.


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## Anxious Angel (Oct 25, 2009)

My boyfriend drives me a lot. My boyfriend dates me even though I have driving issues. My boyfriend likes me for who I am.


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

I'd never date woman that doesn't have a car.


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## Havalina (Dec 18, 2004)

Hmm the last two men I dated, didn't have their licenses. I think in the future I would prefer the man to have his license...so I don't have to do ALL the chores (ie. groceries, mall runs, etc.) Plus it would be cool to share the driving during a long distance trip. But it's not a requirement.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

No. Ive been there too many times and I'm sick of it.


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## TallGuy87 (Jan 9, 2010)

I'd totally date a woman who doesn't drive, one who doesn't longboard however is another story... lol


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

Depends on the reason. I would find it very odd to say the least. :stu


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## Akane (Jan 2, 2008)

Buses and trains don't run at night in some countries. Where you are when the last one leaves is where you are for the night. Plan ahead. You still have to do it for many things when you own a car. I lost count of how many times my sister ran out of gas and had to have someone come pick her up. I've gotten in trouble a few times when I'm over the border in a state that doesn't leave the pumps open without an attendant during a holiday that has most people home. I also had my car die from lack of oil. My mom got stuck in downtown chicago over night for something preventable with the car but I can't remember why. 

If you miss a bus carry some money for a taxi or hotel room overnight. I have a quart of oil, windshield washer fluid, and in the winter a shovel and bucket of ice melt in whatever vehicle I have plus usually an emergency credit card and cell phone so I don't get stranded outside anywhere. When I had a truck I had a gas can and jumper cables in the back. The latter were used 3 times or I'd have been looking for a phone to use before I got my cell and either way waiting hours for someone to pick me up. Plan ahead. It's really no less headache or risk to rely on a car than public transportation.


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## sublimit (Aug 16, 2009)

I can't really mind seeing as I don't drive either. I have no reason to, especially where I live. I would barely use a car except for rare instances where I travel a long distance, and it'd just be a waste of money.


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## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

Interesting results. 

I'm a man and WOULD date a woman who doesn't drive. And I have.


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## Mc Borg (Jan 4, 2008)

Neither me or my girlfriend know how to drive. lol


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## IllusionOfHappiness (Sep 6, 2007)

I don't measure my compatibility with someone based on whether they can put the pedal to the metal or not. Maybe that's because I don't drive, though. Yet. Still, I couldn't see myself caring.


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## Game 7 (Dec 23, 2009)

Would I date a girl that can't drive? I said I wouldn't, but then I thought..what's her short game like? Can she putt? Driving is pretty important to me, cause I always slice it into the trees, so if my girlfriend and I are on a team, we're going to be hacking from the bushes all day. So I gotta say, any girlfriend of mine has to be able to drive.


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## asdf (Jan 19, 2008)

im a guy that drives, but doesnt have a car, would you date me?


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## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)

I don't know how to answer. I guess I would not unless his liscence was suspended or if it was just temporary. Because I live in a place where you HAVE to have a vehicle to go places. There isn't public transportation... you'd just have to get rides from people all the time. My boyfriend that I had when I was in high school didn't have a car and i drove him around all the time because I was stupid. I don't know why I let him walk all over me. I wouldn't do it again unless, like I said, it was temporary.


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## donttalkmuch (Oct 19, 2008)

I'm scared to drive so therefore don't. I'm scared to date too. LOL. But I would date someone who didn't drive. I just wonder how we would get around. lol


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## shifter (Jan 28, 2010)

Yes, because then I would be able to sit next to someone on the trolley/bus who doesn't stink of alcohol/dirt/vomit.


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## Zeddicus (Apr 1, 2009)

A few months ago, my mom scheduled driving lessons for me with an instructor so I could learn how to drive and get a license. The day before the first driving lesson was one of the closest times I had ever come to pulling the plug. Two weeks later, I was driving to McDonald's every Saturday to pick up an Oreo McFlurry.


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## Ritchie (Nov 10, 2008)

my gf doesn't have her's, it kind of sucks tbh.


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## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

9% Guys won't.

39% Girls won't.

Typical.


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## TRENNER (Sep 21, 2009)

I live in Manhattan. One can get by quite well here without a car. Actually, owning a car can be a big nuisance here. So, a non-driver would be fine--as long as my wife doesn't mind her.


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## haikupoet (Feb 9, 2010)

I live in an urban area threaded through with mass transit. The cabs orbit and can be called from any corner with a cell phone. In Arlington, we have urban villages, which if they are on a metro stop, there are people who don't own cars and never drive, so no, I would not necessarily expect everyone local to drive. New York is the same.

I have a car and drive, but I could easily take mass transit. I just do not like it. And the nearest metro station is too far to walk.


I don't think one should hold not driving or owning a vehicle against a potential date. Unless you live in an area where it would require driving a fair distance to date.


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## solasum (Nov 17, 2008)

Yes, I would. I plan on moving to a big city with public transpo someday anyway.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

I'd like to get some opinions on something, primarily from the female members. I know that most of the people who voted in my poll said that they would date a non-driver, but of course the people on this board are more understanding about personal problems than some. In real world social situations, people won't be that generous.

When getting to know someone before dating or while arranging a date, how would a man go about revealing that he does not drive (not that he doesn't have a car, but that he does not know how to drive and has no desire to learn because of fear)? Of course, because of the way society is set up, a man is expected to do all the work on dates, so it would be much more unusual for him to be the non-driver than the woman. The embarrassment of this is one of several things that keeps me from dating. 

So how can this be couched in a way that is as positive as possible? Of course it's not something that can be hidden, because when someone asks "Why don't you pick me up at 8:00?", you have to have an answer. What to say to that stumps me and I'm sure it's one reason I probably will never get past a first date, if I ever go on a date. I would appreciate your input but please don't suggest that I learn how to drive.


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

I hate driving but can and do ... both my 1st and 2nd husband didn't drive so I drove all the time. My last boyfriend drove and it was sooo nice to sit back and just relax and trust him with the driving (and I have a neighbor I trust who drives)... and he had really serious SA (the ex-boyfriend not the neighbor), but this was one thing he could do. My last long-term job I drove my boss all over the place (he was a stroke survivor). But yeah, I would date someone who *didn't* drive (maybe not one who *couldn't*). But if it was just SA issues, fear or something then for sure... I would be way supportive of that as long as on deserted country roads or through the desert he would attempt it to give me a break... like I said didn't is ok couldn't would be problematic.


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## fredbloggs02 (Dec 14, 2009)

Lol, is this a serious thread? Come on! Really?


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

Of course it's serious. You have a problem?


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## Toad Licker (Nov 2, 2007)

I'm all for not limiting my options when it comes to dating but no I wouldn't for the simple fact that I'd hate to have all the driving put on me for every little thing that came up everyday.


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## GnR (Sep 25, 2009)

I would. I never let women drive if I can help it anyways :lol.


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## BreakingtheGirl (Nov 14, 2009)

GnR said:


> I would. I never let women drive if I can help it anyways :lol.


:twak


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

I honestly could not possibly care less if the other person could drive or not


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## eagleheart (Jun 14, 2007)

Where I come from, most people have their licence because it's just impractical to rely on other transportation. However, I would not rule someone out over the driving issue. Besides, I was not clamouring to get my licence at the time that everyone else was, anyway. I took a little longer.

I have gone with a 32-year-old who had never driven. And now I like a guy who i think hasn't driven before. Granted, they are both from different places, but even if they had been from the same place as me, I wouldn't have rejected them just because of that, I find that foolish personally.


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