# Hiding Therapy From Parents



## Bad Religion (Dec 14, 2006)

Ok, so today I finally talked to my doctor about my SA. I was extremely nervous but she was actually really cool and understanding about it. She scheduled me an appointment with a behavioral therapist on Friday and the therapist will help me figure out what kind of therapy and/or meds I should try.

I'm really excited about hopefully getting help for this but I have no idea how I'm going to hide this from my parents. I was able to make up an excuse for today and Friday but if I need to see a therapist weekly there's no way I'll be able to go without them wondering what I'm doing. My doctor's office is like 15-20 minutes away and with gas being so expensive my dad probably wont be cool with me driving out there weekly for no reason. Has anyone ever had to hide going to therapy? I'd definitely like to hear how other people have done it since it doesn't seem easy.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 3, 2008)

I haven't hidden therapy from my parents. For years they forbid me from having therapy, but I was getting so bad that they finally caved in and made the appointment for me. Is it at all possible to sit them down and explain what you are doing and how important it is?

I had to hide my boyfriend from my parents for almost 2 years (complicated story). Would see him twice a week. I would make excuses like I was going into town to see a friend or doing some shopping by myself, whatever (and tell them I'm catching the bus). It was difficult not to make it suspicious and how I suddenly seemed so social.
But believe me... doing something in secret from your parents like that is very difficult and absolutely horrible mentally. I would only hide it if absolutely neccasary. Although therapy doesn't go for quite as long but it's still difficult, especially if you're suddenly going on the exact same day every week.
(As of a few weeks ago we aren't a secret anymore and it's a massive weight off my shoulders... no more making excuses twice a week).

Try to avoid the added stress, is there any reason you can't tell them?


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## Bad Religion (Dec 14, 2006)

There really isn't a real reason why I can't tell them. I actually think my dad would be ok with it, not sure how my mom would react but since I'm 19 it's not like she can stop me from going. It's just kind of embarrassing for me and I'd rather keep it to myself for now. 

I probably should just avoid the added stress and tell them though. I've never really had to keep something this big from my parents before and it doesn't sound easy. I might just wait until Friday and see what the therapist says. If she only wants me to go in monthly I can easily do that and hide it from them but if its a weekly thing it probably wont be possible to hide it from them long-term. Thanks for the advice!


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Hiya Badzzzz :squeeze

Umm I would say that yeh - it would be better to tell them. The reason is that pasrt of SA is feeling that you are in some way defective or that you must hide your true self from others, and feeling a sense of shame over that. Telling your parents will be a big step to resolving this and as someone else said - avoid all the added stress and tangle of fibs you are going to have to tell, as well as them jumping to wrong conclusions.

You are taking control of your life now which is awesome, and as a first step - stick two fingers up to the world and say "back atcha!! YEAH!! Im in THERAPY! Go swivel  "


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## flyonthewall (May 25, 2008)

i understand how you feel. i would consider therapy if i could successfully hide it from my parents...but i know that i can't. if i did, i'd just do it when both of my parents are at work. is that an option?


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## Bad Religion (Dec 14, 2006)

Thanks guys.  

I guess I will have to eventually get over it and tell them. Once I talk to the doctor tomorrow and find out what she wants me to do I'll probably email my mom about it and ask her to tell my dad. It'll be much easier that way since the thought of telling them face to face is somewhat terrifying haha. Since I have to use my dad's car and he's at work until 3:30 Sunday-Thursday there's no way for me to go without him knowing, which is another reason why I should tell them.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Hiding SA issues from my parents is the main reason why I didn't ever start the therapy process earlier than age 24 (last month). Since I'm now on my own, many miles away, I can easily hide it from them.

With that being said, I do sometimes wish I had a close enough relationship to my parents (or ANYONE in my family) to be able to talk to them about my difficulties.

The email introduction idea might be a good middle step between just coming out and saying it in person as the first time the topic will come up. In all likelihood, it won't be as bad as you expect, particularly if you explain the situation if they have questions. I know it will be difficult, but I think you'll be much more comfortable with therapy if you go through with it.


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## Bad Religion (Dec 14, 2006)

^ It must be awesome being on your own and being able to go therapy without anyone knowing. I hate the the thought of having to lie about where I'm going. 


I went to the behavioral therapist today and she prescribed me Zoloft and told me to call mental health and schedule an appointment with a regular therapist. She said that I'd probably only have to go in every 4-6 weeks so it looks like I probably wont have to say anything to my parents at all. Woohoo!


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Bad Religion said:


> ^ It must be awesome being on your own and being able to go therapy without anyone knowing. I hate the the thought of having to lie about where I'm going.
> 
> I went to the behavioral therapist today and she prescribed me Zoloft and told me to call mental health and schedule an appointment with a regular therapist. She said that I'd probably only have to go in every 4-6 weeks so it looks like I probably wont have to say anything to my parents at all. Woohoo!


While that's definitely practical when it comes to the avoiding telling the parents, I've never heard of such infrequent therapy, especially for someone just starting. :con

Did you tell the person about your concerns for privacy from your parents? I'm just trying to figure out why someone would suggest 4-6 weeks between sessions.


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## Bad Religion (Dec 14, 2006)

I did tell her I was concerned about my parents finding out and she said my regular therapist will probably only want to see me every 4-6 weeks. That does sound a little strange now that I think about it. Maybe once I make an appointment with my regular therapist she'll tell me she wants to see me more often.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Yeah, I'd be curious to hear what she says.


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