# Boys



## somethinginthewind (Jul 11, 2009)

.


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

A *boy* is a young male human (usually child or adolescent), as contrasted to its female counterpart, girl, or an adult male, a man.

The term "boy" is primarily used to indicate biological sex distinctions, cultural gender role distinctions or both. The latter most commonly applies to adult men, either considered in some way immature or inferior, in a position associated with aspects of boyhood, or even without such boyish connotation as age-indiscriminate synonym. The term can be joined with a variety of other words to form these gender-related labels as compound words.

Ongoing debates about the influences of nature versus nurture in shaping the behavior of girls and boys raises questions about whether the roles played by boys are mainly the result of inborn differences or of socialization. Images of boys in art, literature and popular culture often demonstrate assumptions about gender roles.
*
Scope*

An adult male human is a man, but when age is not a crucial factor, both terms can be interchangeable, e.g., 'boys and their toys' applies equally to adults and young boys, just as 'Are you mice or men?' can also apply to young boys.

The age boundary is not clear cut, rather dependent on the context or even on individual circumstances. A young man who has not assumed (or has been denied) the traditional roles of a man might also be called a boy. It may feel uncomfortable to a young male upon being referred to as a "man" before he believes he has assumed these roles, such as having a career, a partner, a household of his own, fatherhood, etc, though the addition of a jocular modifier such as "young man" or "little man" might lessen the dissonance. Conversely, it may feel uncomfortable to a male to be called a "boy" if he believes he has assumed the traditional roles of a "man". In _mother's/mama's boy_, the word emphatically implies a male (minor or adult in years) who is too immature to be independent.

In some traditions boyhood is held to be exchanged for adult manhood, or at least approach it significantly, by certain -in se independent- acts assuming a role deemed to be typical for a "normal" man (though there are limits) as marriage, fathering offspring or military service. Various cultural and/or religious rites of passage serve, partially or specifically, to mark the transition to manhood.

There is often a number of traditional differences in attire between boys and adult men, which may even give rise to a metaphoric term such as _broekvent_ in Dutch (i.e., a boy who has not yet "graduated" from shorts to trousers) and in what is socially accepted as appropriate behaviour, e.g., boys may be publicly seen naked in cultures where men are not.

In English, the words youth, teenager and adolescent may refer to either male or female. No gender-specific term exists for an intermediate stage between a boy and a man, except "young man", although the term puberty, for one who reached sexual reproductivity (or the legally assumed age, e.g. 14 for boys, often set lower for girls) without being a legal adult yet, stems from a Latin word for boys only, itself named after the accompanying male body hair, _pubes_, on face and genital region.
Many occasions occur when an adult male is commonly referred to as a boy. A person's boyfriend or loverboy may be of any age; this even applies to a 'working' call-boy, toyboy (though usually younger than the client as youth is generally considered attractive). Reflecting the general aesthetic preference for youth, one says _pretty boy_ (e.g. in the nickname of Charles Arthur "Pretty Boy" Floyd, who committed his first bank robbery at age 30) or Adonis (name of a mythological youth) even when a male beauty is clearly of riper age. In terms (used pejoratively or neutrally) for homosexuals such as batty boy (alongside "batty man"; from "bottom") or "bum boy", age is not essential, but the connotation of immaturity can strengthen insulting use.

A man's group of male friends etc. engaged in Male bonding are often called "the boys". It is most common to refer to men, irrespective of age or even in an adult age group, as boys in the context of a team (especially all-male), such as old boys for networking of adult men who attended the same school(s) as boys, or as professional colleagues, e.g. "the boys at the office, - police station etc." (often all adults). The members of a student fraternity can be called frat(ernity) boys, technically preferable to the pleonasm frat-bro(ther), and remain so for life as adults, after graduation.
In sports 'the boys' commonly refers to the teammates; e.g., UK football managers quite often refer to their players as "The boy so-and-so" and this usage is by no means restricted to the youngest players, though it is rarely applied to the most senior.

An adult equivalent (with or without _-man_) is not to be expected when -boy designates an apprentice (for which some languages use a compound with the equivalent of boy, e.g. _leerjongen_ 'learning boy' in Dutch) or lowest rank implying specific on the job training if promotion is to be obtained, as in kitchen-boy. Similarly _schoolboy_ only applies to minors; the modern near-synonym _pupil_ originally designated a minor in Roman law as being under a specific adult's authority, as _in loco parentis_.
Expressions such as "boys will be boys" (i.e., a male always retains a tendency for boyish games or mischief) allude to stereotypically ascribed characteristics of boys and men; in the term _tomboy_, a woman's (according to the counterpart-gender stereotype) uncharacteristically bold nature is even described solely by comparing her to a boy.

The use of boy (like kid) in (fantasy or descriptive) nick-names, also for adult men (e.g. Shark Boy for a wrestler with matching costume), may also connote to the informal or naughty image of boyhood.

In such terms as 'city boy' or 'home boy', the age notion is at most anachronistic, as they indicate any male who grew up (or by extension lived a long time) in a certain environment.


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## Game 7 (Dec 23, 2009)

I'd love to...why don't we go out sometime and we can talk about it?


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

^ :lol Nice!


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

What do you want to know? We aren't really that complicated. There are quite a few different types however, and figuring out which is which might be confusing.


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

How can you tell if a guy is just being nice, or if he's interested?


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## Game 7 (Dec 23, 2009)

laura024 said:


> How can you tell if a guy is just being nice, or if he's interested?


I've seen you...he's interested.


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## Game 7 (Dec 23, 2009)

...seriously though, the answer to that question is simple...ask him. =)
If I liked a girl, and she wanted to know if I did or not, and she asked...I'd be floored...and happy.


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

They like sharp things and squishy things, but not at the same time.


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

laura024 said:


> How can you tell if a guy is just being nice, or if he's interested?


You might be able to ask him. But that is the hard way.

Some girls would flirt or do little things to see how he would react.


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## Game 7 (Dec 23, 2009)

Sunnie said:


> But what if he flirts at first, but then stops suddenly?
> 
> Specific question: How can you tell if a guy likes you genuinely or just wants to get laid?
> 
> What is... a less direct way?


All guys just want to get laid...the difference is some care about who they do it with, and some don't.


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## Game 7 (Dec 23, 2009)

Well, you can't. That's what love is about...faith. You just have to believe in yourself that you're able to know. I think this thread was a bit of sarcasm anyway, cause you can't explain humans, boys or girls, other than to say we're all different.
If a guy just wants to get laid, and he's been successful as it before, then he'll come across as a genuine nice guy.
There'll always be risk involved with love or else it wouldn't be so thrilling.


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## Game 7 (Dec 23, 2009)

Sunnie said:


> Well, obviously.
> 
> But how do I know if he cares or not? (besides asking)(and flirting)


I have an idea but it's extreme. Give him hope that you'll have sex with him, then take that hope away...judge his reaction.


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## Game 7 (Dec 23, 2009)

Oh God, I'm helping girls how to play guys...


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## Game 7 (Dec 23, 2009)

somethinginthewind said:


> Tease! :b


...only if you don't give in after he says "That's okay, sex is over-rated."


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## etka (Jul 17, 2009)

Game 7 said:


> I have an idea but it's extreme. Give him hope that you'll have sex with him, then take that hope away...judge his reaction.


 So pretty much act natural?

ZING!! :lol:


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## Game 7 (Dec 23, 2009)

I've always felt sorry for girls. I played hockey all my life so I know what goes on in the minds of guys who act nice but just want sex, just from being in the dressing room. It's disgusting. It's the main reason I went out of my way at a young age to just...not be that way. I figured "There's no way girls will like these guys once they find out what they are like"...but I was wrong.
Maybe I need to go make a "Girls" thread.


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

I had this whole thing written before Firefox crashed. Stupid Firefox.



Sunnie said:


> But what if he flirts at first, but then stops suddenly?


He was probably just being nice. Or hoped that you would have responded differently. However, see the next answer.



Sunnie said:


> Specific question: How can you tell if a guy likes you genuinely or just wants to get laid?


Every straight guy wants to have sex. The thing to figure out is if he wants to only do it one time and move on to the next girl, or if he wants to make it a long-term relationship. If you date for a while, or if he hasn't had lots of previous relationships, then he probably would be more into being with you for a long time.



Sunnie said:


> What is... a less direct way?


I was trying to figure this out before I responded previously.


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

How long have you known him? How many girls does he know that he could possibly have a relationship with? How many times have you gone out with him? Does he seem like a guy who is interested in a long-term relationship? Does he (or you) make future plans?


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

It seems like you have a crush, and would like him to act in a certain way. However, it isn't going as well as you'd like in reality.

When did he flick your thigh if you have never gone out with him? Was he looking for a different reaction that he wasn't willing to wait around for a few weeks/months to get?


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## No-Sturm-und-Drang (Jan 21, 2009)

Game 7 said:


> I've seen you...he's interested.


that was so cute


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

No-Sturm-und-Drang said:


> I hear people say that guys say horrible things about women in the locker room. Is this true or is it BS?


It depends on the girl and what they would talk about. But, it is more likely to happen at a bar or while talking to their friends.

Then again, you shouldn't really worry about it. I'm sure girls talk 100 times more about their relationships then boys do.

(uh-oh you deleted it, do you want this erased?)


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

I've got one!

Why doesn't he call you back? Even when he says he really likes you.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Perfectionist said:


> I've got one!
> 
> Why doesn't he call you back? Even when he says he really likes you.


He may be trying to balance some ridiculous equation of maintaining that he's interested but not desperate & his guys friends are likely not helping him in this regard. Either that or even though he's interested but also terrified & unsure of what to do or say. In the second case he may be pacing in his apartment, possibly even dialing your number but not taking that final step of pressing the talk button. Just a guess, lol


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## emptybottle2 (Jan 18, 2009)

...


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## whiteWhale (Nov 19, 2009)

If he's staring at you it would be very unlikely that hes not interested in you. Just smile at him and see if he smiles back. When a girl smiles at me it makes my day, even though I am too shy to walk over and talk to her.


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## FBH (Dec 3, 2009)

Pretty much what ^ said. I'd also say that there aren't very many people who will be disgusted by you smiling at them. Even when someone I'm not interested in smiles at me, I still take it as a compliment, because it's a nice gesture.

My eyes wander a lot while my mind does, but I find that they usually focus on girls I find attractive (in a non-creepy way!), even if my face is blank.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

ohpewp said:


> They like sharp things and squishy things, but not at the same time.


^I laughed out loud. They do tend to like things that are bumpy all over as well. And soft.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

After reading most of this thread, it appears to me that in these matters, we may not be all that different. I mean beyond the obvious physiology.


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## Micronian (Nov 11, 2004)

Sunnie said:


> We may all be the same in wanting to be the same, but not so much the same in that we all want different things from different types of people... and these different types of people will send out different types of signals and thus make life much more difficult for us.
> 
> We really need a comprehensive list of all the ways you might possibly be able to tell
> a)someone is interested
> ...


There really isn't much to tell.
#1) -If a boy is interested in a girl, he will treat her differently than he treats everybody else. Whether he's nice or he's bad is not so relevant. Just look at how he interacts with other girls. if he likes one, his attitude will change like night and day.

#2) -This is the typical guy's mind: Sex 1st, love 2nd. And there is no way to know exactly when his mind shifts from sex to love. Sometimes it doesn't even happen. The only thing a girl can do is get to know the boy. If you go out/make out right away, chances are high he only wants sex. The more you know about him, obviously, the more you'll be able to judge for yourself if he's a relationship kind of person. BUT THE THOUGHT OF SEX ALWAYS COMES FIRST. ALWAYS!


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## Ysonesse (Dec 25, 2009)

Micronian said:


> If you go out/make out right away, chances are high he only wants sex.


So, this is the difference between a "nice guy" and a guy who happens to be nice? :teeth

Seriously, how can a girl tell the difference between a guy who might be acting nice to get laid, and a guy who might be acting nice because he's actually...nice?


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## Micronian (Nov 11, 2004)

Ysonesse said:


> So, this is the difference between a "nice guy" and a guy who happens to be nice? :teeth
> 
> Seriously, how can a girl tell the difference between a guy who might be acting nice to get laid, and a guy who might be acting nice because he's actually...nice?


There is no difference.

...at least no difference in how he acts. It's only in the length of time he's nice. If it's a total lie, he's not going to be able to keep his act forever. After a month or two, he'll just give up and find somebody else to chase.


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

Ysonesse said:


> So, this is the difference between a "nice guy" and a guy who happens to be nice? :teeth
> 
> Seriously, how can a girl tell the difference between a guy who might be acting nice to get laid, and a guy who might be acting nice because he's actually...nice?


From my experience, a guy who just wants sex will have a hard time not making sexual innuendos and remarks. If he doesn't get the desired response from you, he loses interest quickly. 
The guy who's actually nice doesn't speak very sexually, if at all. He asks you about yourself and genuinely seems to care what your personality is like. He'd rather know your favorite color first than what your bra size is.


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## Ysonesse (Dec 25, 2009)

Micronian said:


> There is no difference.
> 
> ...at least no difference in how he acts. It's only in the length of time he's nice. If it's a total lie, he's not going to be able to keep his act forever. After a month or two, he'll just give up and find somebody else to chase.


That's what I suspected, but I kind of wondered how a guy could have that much patience and persistence to keep up a false personality just to get laid.



laura024 said:


> The guy who's actually nice doesn't speak very sexually, if at all. He asks you about yourself and genuinely seems to care what your personality is like. He'd rather know your favorite color first than what your bra size is.


I thought that's how it worked until recently. Now, I have to wonder about a guy who decides to put on the nice routine just to get a woman that might be viewed as a challenge.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

thank GOD someone started a thread like this! I am DYING to have them explained to me too!


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## Game 7 (Dec 23, 2009)

I've come to the conclusion that humans can't be explained, only experienced. If you're constantly trying to figure out if a guy/girl is playing you or not, you're missing out on a lot.


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## Lithium4 (Nov 23, 2007)

Honestly, most players don't strike me as even "pretend" nice guys. They might pay you a compliment from time to time, but they don't seem that commited to the act. I find them pretty transparent, so I assume women can see through them too.

If you've spent a little bit of time with a guy and he's always nice, he's probably a nice guy. Remember, nice guys like to get laid too.


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## Game 7 (Dec 23, 2009)

Lithium4 said:


> Honestly, most players don't strike me as even "pretend" nice guys. They might pay you a compliment from time to time, but they don't seem that commited to the act. I find them pretty transparent, so I assume women can see through them too.
> 
> If you've spent a little bit of time with a guy and he's always nice, he's probably a nice guy. Remember, nice guys like to get laid too.


As a nice guy, I can confirm that last part. The difference between nice guys and players is that they both would like to "do it" but one of them doesn't want to lie/manipulate in order to get there.


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## IHeartSteveMcQueen (May 30, 2009)

I'm a player.


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## illlaymedown (Oct 6, 2009)

Sunnie said:


> 3 months.
> No idea, probably zillions...
> Um... zero...
> With certain people?
> ...


I freakin hate it when guys do that and you're left sitting there wondering "what the hell is wrong with me THIS TIME".....it's a war I cannot win for losing so I try to supress the desire for a relationship, but it just makes it hurt more and makes the desire stronger. I don't see how I'll ever be in another relationship.....


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

I have a question:

I have a few male acquaintances. A few months ago, I started dating one of them. After word went around that I was "taken," all the other male friends started making comments about how they'd had crushes on me and things like that. So why didn't they do anything about it? They never flirted or anything. Why would they wait until I'm not able to even try dating them to tell me?


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## Lithium4 (Nov 23, 2007)

Is that a male trait though? People want what is harder to get and take what's available for granted. Or, maybe they had a crush on you but weren't able or willing to act on it. Once they realize you're off the market, they're free to let you know how they felt, without worrying about you taking it as a sign they want to date.


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## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

bezoomny said:


> I have a question:
> 
> I have a few male acquaintances. A few months ago, I started dating one of them. After word went around that I was "taken," all the other male friends started making comments about how they'd had crushes on me and things like that. So why didn't they do anything about it? They never flirted or anything. Why would they wait until I'm not able to even try dating them to tell me?


One word: fear of rejection.

Okay, that's actually three words, but you get the idea.


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## Graye (Jan 21, 2009)

bezoomny said:


> I have a question:
> 
> I have a few male acquaintances. A few months ago, I started dating one of them. After word went around that I was "taken," all the other male friends started making comments about how they'd had crushes on me and things like that. So why didn't they do anything about it? They never flirted or anything. Why would they wait until I'm not able to even try dating them to tell me?


Once I find out someone is 'taken' or I personally write them off for some reason or another, I just let loose and stop caring what they think about me. I don't hold back criticism and sarcasm. Kind of like you have nothing to lose anymore.


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## Oneiros (Oct 18, 2009)

boys are nuts.


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## IHeartSteveMcQueen (May 30, 2009)

they are.


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## Game 7 (Dec 23, 2009)

I'm a boy and I'm nuts...about girls. :yes


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

Graye said:


> Once I find out someone is 'taken' or I personally write them off for some reason or another, I just let loose and stop caring what they think about me. I don't hold back criticism and sarcasm. Kind of like you have nothing to lose anymore.


But I didn't marry the guy or anything, we're headed for a breakup right now. Why would they just give up for good?


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## Game 7 (Dec 23, 2009)

bezoomny said:


> But I didn't marry the guy or anything, we're headed for a breakup right now. Why would they just give up for good?


When you're in a relationship, you look better. It's human nature. Every time I like a new girl, my ex girlfriend finds out and all of a sudden she loves me. When the new girl realizes how lame I am and says goodbye, my ex girlfriend tends to do the same.


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## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

Explain, us ?

I thought we were the easiest creatures to understand (and hence, be easily fooled and led on) ... I guess I was wrong.


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## IHeartSteveMcQueen (May 30, 2009)

thats really ****ty.


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## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

Game 7 said:


> When you're in a relationship, you look better. It's human nature. Every time I like a new girl, my ex girlfriend finds out and all of a sudden she loves me. When the new girl realizes how lame I am and says goodbye, my ex girlfriend tends to do the same.


It sure seems to be human nature from my observations too, but *I* have never experienced it at all. When my ex started dating again, it made me jealous of her, but I wasn't any more or less interested in getting back together with her than when she was single. Also, I agree with the guy who said he tends to relax and stop caring when he finds out a girl is already taken. I basically only "allow" myself to be attracted to single girls (not that it's rational, since I have no hope of ending up with them either).


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

That's the same thing I think of, except I have never been in a relationship.


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