# Relating to People



## Tomcat123 (Sep 30, 2015)

I feel like even when I was little I had a hard time relating to people, especially with people my age. Weirdly, this seems to have only gotten worse with age, because at college I feel everyone is so preoccupied with their lives, it's weird it's like they have their blinders on for everyone except certain people. Like I remember hearing this conversation about a girl saying how drunk she got and how awful she felt the next day and all the weird stuff she did, but she was saying it to her friend as she enjoyed it at the same time even though she said stuff like "I'd never do that sober" and "I felt so gross" but it was happily and laughing. To me this makes no sense. I've heard a lot of people say stuff like this, but they still do it, so they probably really don't regret it then.

Other thing is how people talk their relationships, I've never gotten how people develop stronger bonds over time, all the friends I ever made I liked right away, same with people I don't like. Same thing with family too, I have always gotten along with my parents and never with my siblings.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Vera Lee (Nov 26, 2014)

I also have a hard time relating to people. Mostly people my age. I want to make friends, though. I crave a deep friendships and something substantial. But I feel like there's no one for me and my circumstances don't permit me to go out and socialize. I'm trying to build a relationship currently but I can see the SA ruining everything. Definitely frustrating


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## ThatLonerChick (Feb 4, 2012)

You know what? 
I ****ing hate people.
All they do is find a way to stab you in the back. Every one of them. 
I would rather have no friends at all than fake friends


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## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

No point to relate with anyone. Everyone is already self absorbed with their own lives on social media (posting a bunch of nonsensical trash they exhibit while being normal) and have their faces plastered to a mobile device tweeting and texting rubbish.

Be your own person. Doesn't matter if it's in solitude.. Social Anxiety already helped you out there, just make the final plunge and be free from trivial things as in fake friends and relationships. They only will bring you down and cause you to suffer.


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## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

ThatLonerChick said:


> You know what?
> I ****ing hate people.
> All they do is find a way to stab you in the back. Every one of them.
> *I would rather have no friends at all than fake friends*


I still don't know why people cling to the idea of having a friend.

All i've seen of these so called friends are just people who feed off of the other with some motive in mind to elevate themselves. These people are self absorbed and only care about themselves, they're two faced from the beginning and towards the end of your so called friendship.

I still haven't had these questions answered in my mind.

Why does one need a friend?
Why does one feel lonely without a friend?
Why can't one live a normal life without so called friend?
Why does society treat people who have no friends negatively?
Why does one feel as if their life has no purpose wihout a friend?

These questions came to my mind just now and i can't even answer them.


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## theghost0991 (Mar 29, 2014)

Elliot Alderson said:


> I still don't know why people cling to the idea of having a friend.
> 
> All i've seen of these so called friends are just people who feed off of the other with some motive in mind to elevate themselves. These people are self absorbed and only care about themselves, they're two faced from the beginning and towards the end of your so called friendship.
> 
> ...


You guys wanna know why this frustration section is so full of troll accusation, finger pointing, and SJW/faminazi preaching? Its because all the advice given here is crap advice.

I'm just tellin it like it is.

But anyway, OP

Or just anyone who reads, I have this problem too. But I got an idea.

Basically, go out as often as possible, to places with people. Look into meetup.com and the like. Just try try and try to meet people. socialize at work when its slow in the work place. I think I'm already becoming buddies with a few people at my job.

Also, don't be afraid to talk to people you don't know (within reason). I went to the game room at my college and asked if I could play pool with some people. I basically hit it off well (or think I did) with a small group of students in that game room. Now I don't really know any names and im not invited to any parties with them, but its a start.


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## Tomcat123 (Sep 30, 2015)

^ I agree a lot with what you have said. I know if I tired hard enough I could do it, and I do have friends, just not at my college and I don't see them during the semester too much. And it is true, there this a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy, if you think all of these awful things about yourself, others will start to as well basesd on what you say and how you act. Also I have recently realized friends are important, relationships are how most people find meaning in their lives. It's just takes a lot of willpower and time though making friends at school, and commuting, working, plus school work makes it harder. I know it's possible though, personally I just can't wait until school is over because what really bothers me is having to go there and see them, I hate feeling like such an outsider there.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JustALonelyHeart (Nov 20, 2015)

ThatLonerChick said:


> You know what?
> I ****ing hate people.
> All they do is find a way to stab you in the back. Every one of them.
> I would rather have no friends at all than fake friends


Exactly...Rather alone than with a bunch of traitors as friends.Many times I long for friendships but I also think to myself, why should I make an effort when most people are not worth it anyway and how am I supposed to know who is worth it and who isn't, I'm not gonna spend my time trying to find out.People suck 99% of the time.


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

Aphotic Apathy said:


> I still don't know why people cling to the idea of having a friend.
> 
> All i've seen of these so called friends are just people who feed off of the other with some motive in mind to elevate themselves. These people are self absorbed and only care about themselves, they're two faced from the beginning and towards the end of your so called friendship.
> 
> ...


Because humans are social animals that are biologically programmed to REQUIRE social interaction in order to stay healthy. Isolated people die earlier and get diseases more often than people with active social lives.

It is true that a lot of people have selfish motives, but you can't just escape biology like that.


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## neckbeard (Jun 23, 2014)

I can relate more easly with people who are older than me...


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## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

versikk said:


> Because humans are social animals that are biologically programmed to REQUIRE social interaction in order to stay healthy. Isolated people die earlier and get diseases more often than people with active social lives.
> 
> It is true that a lot of people have selfish motives, but you can't just escape biology like that.


I'm going to die early. Better prepare my hearse.


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## Freezing Moon (Nov 15, 2015)

versikk said:


> Because humans are social animals that are biologically programmed to REQUIRE social interaction in order to stay healthy. Isolated people die earlier and get diseases more often than people with active social lives.
> 
> It is true that a lot of people have selfish motives, but you can't just escape biology like that.


I thought about developing some kind of hermit technique, where one wouldn't need people at all (imaginary friends, madness, ghosts, being too occupied searching for food and trying not to get eaten by a lion to think about friends). However I don't seem to find a way to its realization.

I guess I will end up dead sooner than I think.


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## harletta (Nov 4, 2012)

versikk said:


> Because humans are social animals that are biologically programmed to REQUIRE social interaction in order to stay healthy. Isolated people die earlier and get diseases more often than people with active social lives.
> 
> It is true that a lot of people have selfish motives, but you can't just escape biology like that.


I don't disagree but what are you supposed to do if no one likes you?


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## Ivoryivy (Nov 24, 2015)

When I first meet someone (that I like, anyway) I am usually very interested in them, but over time, I start to shy away and quit talking to them. I think I am afraid of people getting too close to me. The people I have been close to in my life though have always let me down in some way, and I know that is something a lot of people say, but literally almost every single friend (and all my family) has betrayed me in some way except for a few people. My closest friend now is someone I see maybe once every 5 months or so and talk to a few times a month. 

But yeah, people suck. I can't relate to their mundane bantering most of the time. It's so pointless and shallow. I always come across as thinking I am better than other people, but that isn't the case. I am actually afraid of other people. lol


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

Freezing Moon said:


> I thought about developing some kind of hermit technique, where one wouldn't need people at all (imaginary friends, madness, ghosts, being too occupied searching for food and trying not to get eaten by a lion to think about friends). However I don't seem to find a way to its realization.
> 
> I guess I will end up dead sooner than I think.


What methods have you tried so far? i wouldn't be very hard to just buy a ticket to India or whatever and then go out into the wild and stay there. There ARE hermits in the world, altho I think most actually do have contact with people now and then. something like this guy:
http://disinfo.com/2014/01/worlds-filthiest-man-smokes-feces-hasnt-bathed-60-years/

Or the sadhus of hinduism:
http://www.religionfacts.com/sadhu



harletta said:


> I don't disagree but what are you supposed to do if no one likes you?


"no one likes me" is a very non-specific claim in that there are probably many factors contributing to this reality. But I know that anxious or depressed people can have a very negative air about them, making it hard for people to put up with them. So if that was your problem, then one could work on appearing more positive. Another thing could be that loneliness shines thru and the person appears desperate for human contact, which is offputting to most people.
again, i am generalizing, so fill in the blanks yourself :wink2:


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## Victoria Patricia (Nov 20, 2015)

*I'm Miss Misunderstood...*



versikk said:


> Because humans are social animals that are biologically programmed to REQUIRE social interaction in order to stay healthy. Isolated people die earlier and get diseases more often than people with active social lives.
> 
> It is true that a lot of people have selfish motives, but you can't just escape biology like that.


I see a lot of hate on this thread..however I used to hate people a lot, but then I realized, I'm angry at myself for not being courageous enough to stay in a positive mindset towards others I know nothing about (yet), instead of assuming all people are back stabbing and have a hidden agenda.
I totally agree with the guy I quoted - for me just using this site has bought me to a new realm of peace of mind.


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## Freezing Moon (Nov 15, 2015)

versikk said:


> What methods have you tried so far? i wouldn't be very hard to just buy a ticket to India or whatever and then go out into the wild and stay there. There ARE hermits in the world, altho I think most actually do have contact with people now and then. something like this guy:
> http://disinfo.com/2014/01/worlds-filthiest-man-smokes-feces-hasnt-bathed-60-years/
> 
> Or the sadhus of hinduism:
> http://www.religionfacts.com/sadhu


I am trying just to dive into it, so that a biological reaction may take place (simple getting used to it).

I think I will read the links for more information.

Thank you.


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## Telliblah (Sep 19, 2015)

Freezing Moon said:


> imaginary friends


http://www.tulpa.info/


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## Victoria Patricia (Nov 20, 2015)

*Hi*



Telliblah said:


> http://www.tulpa.info/


Thanks for sharing this - interesting indeed.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

I don't think I've met a single person irl who can relate to everything I've lived through so far, only online more or less. Then again, I don't try to get to know new people that often.


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## Freezing Moon (Nov 15, 2015)

Telliblah said:


> http://www.tulpa.info/


Thank you.


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## klvmm (Sep 16, 2015)

I've never related to anyone in r/l and I rarely relate to anyone online.


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## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

klvmm said:


> I've never related to anyone in r/l and I rarely relate to anyone online.


I know that feel angry Bernstein bear.


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