# Have you ever been banned /kicked out of anywhere?



## Reecedouglas1 (Oct 10, 2019)

Yes or no?


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## donistired (Nov 29, 2018)

When I was in high school, me and a couple friends were kicked out of Starbucks for not buying anything. The thing is, one of us did buy something so we could stay and they still kicked us out because they said we all had to. Pretty uneventful.


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## Excaliber (May 16, 2015)

No its never gotten to the point that I've been kicked out of anywhere.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

An online forum. I hadn't broken any rules and I wouldn't even have known I'd been banned (I was having Internet trouble, plus the webmistress sent me no notification or explanation) if another member hadn't privately contacted me to let me know. Go figure that the one time I get banned it was literally just because the other users didn't like me. :/

Nobody'll read this but anyway:


* *





That's the gist of it, though it's a bit more complicated.

The forum was about Ojibwa (Chippewa) Indian culture. I wasn't going to get into this since a former user here got offended and lectured me before, but it needs context. When I joined I immediately let the others know I'm white; I briefly explained my interest in their culture (I live in their area of the world and their cultural influence is strong here, plus I have French-Canadian ancestry), and asked if I was welcome to be there. They said yes, and all seemed well. Though I got an odd feeling when I asked for book recommendations, after describing the sort of material I already possessed (a large number of advanced texts), and was suggested a very basic, almost children's level book in response. I'd been reading higher-level books about their culture for years; *I am NOT claiming I was some sort of expert or knew more than they did* (not by a long shot), just that they seemed to have the impression I was a complete beginner unfamiliar with their culture, despite me listing some of the books I already owned.

Undeterred, I posted a local version of one of their myths in the relevant subforum and added a bunch of links to the barren link section. I had hopes to really contribute to the group. But I made the mistake of mentioning that I'd been writing a fictional story based on their cultural myths. I understand why this could be offensive, though reactions to it have been mixed--at least two people of Ojibwa descent had contacted me in the past to tell me they'd enjoyed this story and had no problem with it. So me basically "appropriating" this culture for my writing wasn't considered UNIVERSALLY bad, though I'd had some criticism of it too (the people who criticized it for this hadn't read it, though that may not matter), so for the most part I had stopped mentioning this writing of mine, especially in groups such as this.

Well, I felt too at ease and slipped up, trying to explain my interest in their culture. The atmosphere chilled then and a few users began demanding to know my real motive for being there. I insisted my only motive was to learn more about their culture and contribute to the group if I could, and apologized that I'd offended them. One of them came up with an odd comparison--"You think it's okay to write about our mythical figures as if they're fictional? What if I were to write about George Washington as if he were fictional, wouldn't you find that offensive?" (This argument had several flaws. First off, I don't really consider George Washington part of "my culture"--I'm German/French-Canadian, and he was just a president, nothing cultural and nothing even to do with the region I grew up in. Comparing the historic figure Washington to an Ojibwa culture hero was rather inaccurate; maybe somebody like Paul Bunyan would've been a better comparison. Finally, no, I wouldn't be offended if somebody wrote about Washington--or Bunyan--in a fictional manner, if anything I felt rather offended that anyone would assume that'd offend me! George Washington and Paul Bunyan aren't my culture heroes. :| The Ojibwa culture hero resonates far more with me, though I understand why this is problematic, he isn't "mine," either.)

I understood why they were offended themselves, though. Although hurt, I asked if I should voluntarily leave the group to avoid causing further disruption. The webmistress herself said I didn't have to, and was welcome to stay. Nobody else objected. I still felt wary, but was also relieved to be given a second chance. I had no plans to discontinue my writing (it was a series I'd been working on literally half my life, and personally meant far more than I'd been able to describe), but resolved to say no more of it in the group. I was just there to learn and contribute.

Next thing I know, another user--I think it was actually the one who'd made the George Washington argument, though I'm not sure--was contacting me privately to let me know I'd been banned. :wtf When I expressed bewilderment, she explained that privately, some members of the group had said they were concerned that I was there to collect personal/private autobiographical and cultural info about them to use in a book or some such, and they didn't feel comfortable with me around, so asked the webmistress to ban me. Never mind that I had expressed NO interest whatsoever in writing about these total strangers, I don't write biographies/nonfiction and I don't base characters on individual people like that, either. There WAS no biographical info being shared in the group and I had asked for none. And as for me gathering "private cultural info," the contents of the group were PUBLIC and anyone could see them, they didn't even have to join. In fact I had lurked there a bit before joining. The very PURPOSE of the group was to share cultural info--it was even in the name--and the group description said everyone was welcome to come and learn!

This user had contacted me to let me know about this--the webmistress hadn't even sent me a notice saying I'd been banned, much less why--because she actually took issue with the ban and decided to quit the group out of protest, along with another user. So, that was kind of her. She explained that the webmistress had a history of being prejudiced against white people and this was a big part of the reason she quit. She even invited me to another group though I ended up never really participating in it because the whole situation had hurt and soured me too much on intercultural communication. I decided I'd just avoid members of this particular culture even though I wished to learn from them, and for more than just my writing, too. It's not even like I'm making money off of them (I'm not, I post my writing for free)...I genuinely just wanted to communicate and learn.

After my ban, the group did go private, as if to prove they were afraid of sensitive cultural info being stolen/disseminated. BUT...this lasted only briefly before they went public again. So that, combined with the very name and stated purpose of the group--it was there SPECIFICALLY to teach about Ojibwa culture--belied the "reason" behind my ban being that they were worried I'd steal some sort of private information. They just didn't want me there.

A year or so later I peeked in on the group again and came across what looked like an argument between the webmistress and another user, but it was in Ojibwa so I couldn't understand it. I used an online dictionary to try to translate a bit. I couldn't understand most of it but the other user seemed to be defending somebody, and the webmistress said something to this other user to the effect of, "So you'd actually side with this person, _against your own people_?" Which seemed to prove the other former member's comment about the webmistress disliking non-Ojibwas.

(When last I shared this story on SAS I was also lectured that there is no such thing as prejudice against white people...*I'm not at all saying the prejudice we occasionally face is anywhere near the level that minorities face*, though I did experience this, and I'm not going to get into an argument about it. If anyone disagrees with me that's fine but I have nothing more to say on the matter.)

So...that's the story of me being banned somewhere. I even volunteered to leave and was told I could stay, so that makes it hurt more, plus the fact that the users corresponded privately about me and came to such a bizarre conclusion about my "motives" but didn't have the guts to tell me to my face. I didn't even deserve a notification when they kicked me out. If that user hadn't contacted me I'd have spent forever agonizing over WTF had happened. :/

One other thing I noticed when I peeked in that last time was that the myth retelling I had contributed, plus the bunch of links, were still there, they hadn't decided to delete those. Meanwhile, nobody had added any additional informational content, either. The only activity going on in the group was these few members making smalltalk. None of the cultural discussion or learning the group was originally intended for. If they treated others seeking info the same way I'd been treated, well, no wonder the group was just about dead and nobody was learning about anything. Which made that explanation about me gathering "private" info even more nonsensical. Wasn't that what the group was for, sharing cultural info?? Just...weird.

I think the group was deleted or went defunct not long after. This was a Hotmail or AOL group or something, I don't think those are around anymore.


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## leaf in the wind (Mar 28, 2017)

Yes, my friend's parents kicked me out of their house when we were 16 and I was forever banned.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

When I was 18 we went to the strippers & stayed until they made us leave...


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## EmotionlessThug (Oct 4, 2011)

Someone else actions got me kicked out of the pool. This occurred back in 2005 when I was 12 years old. Regardless how much effort that I put into explaining the situation the people still hold me accountable.


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## PurplePeopleEater (May 10, 2017)

Nope. I'd be surprised if I did. Unless getting kicked out of my. dad's place counts.


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## either/or (Apr 27, 2020)

I got kicked out of a bar once for spilling a drink on a girl. But it was an accident and I didn't even really spill much on her. I apologized and everything. Just a little bit of beer spilled over the side of my glass when I grabbed it. She went over and told the bouncer that I poured my drink on her and then when I went out to smoke he didn't let me back in. I couldn't believe it.


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