# How do I start therapy?



## QuackQuack (Mar 18, 2008)

It's pretty obvious to me lately that I have social/anxiety/human interaction issues and that I'm only making them worse trying to solve them by myself. I need outside help of some sort, but I don't know where to start.

I went to psychologists for depression when I was a kid, but they never seemed to help much. I feel as though I learned to live with that, but I don't know if I did that on my own or with their help.

But I need something. I am stuck. I need to re-learn how to make friends. I need a new job. I need to move. I need a new life. And I feel powerless to change any of these things by myself. I spend all my time inside alone on the Internet, wishing things would change but not doing anything about it.

How do I find a _good_ therapist or support group nearby? What are my options? I want something that will actually help; not just a weekly session in which I talk a lot about myself and nothing changes.


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

There are several good CBT clinics and also the main Schema Therapy clinic in New York. Do a search and look up what there is.

Ross


----------



## blueFsharp (Mar 18, 2008)

i think it also involves some trial and error. personally, i'm one of the kinds who goes off of vibes that people give me, so i like to meet them and decide if i feel comfortable with them, if they put me at ease, if they seem friendly, and most importantly-if they make me talk. 
surprisingly, at my campus mental health services, i found one of the best psychologists i've ever talked to. i don't even know how she does it, because she's so soft-spoken and barely there, but she pulls everythingggg out of me. she made me cry in my first session with her, and i didn't even know what it was about until i had been talking for like 20 minutes and she lead me to the cause. it was insane.


----------



## QuackQuack (Mar 18, 2008)

I've got a list of email addresses from http://abpp.org/ (which my friend says is good). I've also got my insurance's list of covered "behavioral health providers". What do I write? How do I choose? How do I know if the insurance covers it?


----------



## Jordanmorrissey (Mar 8, 2009)

I feel exactly the same way the OP feels. I want to change my life but I also realize I do want outside help. I think the first really major step is that you realize you can't do it alone.


----------



## QuackQuack (Mar 18, 2008)

I signed up for this online trial thing:

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...-internet-treatment-for-social-anxiety-61306/

Maybe it will help. It's only a baby step, but I've had "email a therapist" on my To Do list for months and I keep skipping over it. Maybe this online thing will do something for me. If not, then at least I'm helping with research.


----------



## DepecheEyes (Aug 19, 2008)

For myself, I was able to find my therapist and psychiatrist through my health insurance. I called them and they gave me a list of mental health clinics. I guess I would recommend to call your health insurance and ask which mental health clinics or organizations do they provide.


----------



## QuackQuack (Mar 18, 2008)

DepecheEyes said:


> For myself, I was able to find my therapist and psychiatrist through my health insurance. I called them and they gave me a list of mental health clinics. I guess I would recommend to call your health insurance and ask which mental health clinics or organizations do they provide.


Yeah I should do that first. I can find a list online, but I'm not sure how this all works or what kind of specialist to go to. Also, just because the person is on a list doesn't mean they're good. :/


----------



## QuackQuack (Mar 18, 2008)

I found a way to contact my insurance company online (terrified of the phone), and wrote them a little note asking some questions about how to find someone.  Such a small step, but I hope it leads to something.


----------



## QuackQuack (Mar 18, 2008)

I got a recommendation for a specific guy but he's not on my insurance website. Argh. I am finding every possible excuse to procrastinate on this. I hate my life. I need to see someone.


----------



## deeds14 (Jul 9, 2009)

Look on psychologytoday.com or just call the back of your insurance card for approved people. Then you call the therapist's office and say that you're interested in becoming a new client and that you want to verify that they accept your insurance. Your insurance company will be able to tell you if you have a deductible, what your copay is, how many visits per year you can have, etc.
The first step is the hardest, so just get it over with!


----------



## QuackQuack (Mar 18, 2008)

Finally started going to someone, after a particularly bad panic attack made me skip work. I looked up a bunch of people on psychologytoday.com, specified "anxiety", "CBT", and my insurance, and it orders them by appropriateness. Then messaged them through the site.

I ignored anyone who wrote back "Call our office to set up an appointment" because c'mon. The one who seemed the most appropriate actually wrote an email back and set up the appointment by email!  

I've only seen her twice, but I'm not sure how I feel about it. She is nice and accepting, but doesn't seem to understand how bad it is? Or maybe she's just nonchalant because she's seen a lot worse. Somehow I need to emphasize to her that panic attacks are the first priority, and learning to socialize normally is farther down the list. So far she's just telling me to exercise a few times a week and get plenty of sleep and do breathing exercises and talk about the weather with my coworkers. But she promises we'll go through CBT soon, and that's scientifically supposed to work, so I hope we do that soon and it helps.


----------



## Funkyfusq (Sep 11, 2013)

Hi

May I ask you a couple of questions relating to your last post:



QuackQuack said:


> She is nice and accepting, but doesn't seem to understand how bad it is?


Have you explicitly said how bad it is or have you suggested it, hoping the therapist will read the signs?



QuackQuack said:


> Or maybe she's just nonchalant because she's seen a lot worse


Is this something she's said or your own perception?

I think if you give her a clear explicit understanding of where your issues lie, at least you'll give her a chance to work on your priorities or at least re-prioritise where she thinks you'll get the most value. If after that you find she is not helping then it's worth exploring other options.


----------



## shysunshine (Sep 11, 2013)

she sounds a little questionable... and sounds like she's making you doubt yourself. is that true? i can see where you're coming from, Funkyfusg, because people with SA do often misread others and think they're being more harsh than they really are, but idk. sounds like she's not very responsive. i love my individual therapist and she doesn't do anything like that. she asks questions to help me problem solve and realize where some of my feelings are rooted, and to help me understand myself better. she does suggest things like breathing exercises, but your therapist ought to be helping you out during your session as well.

if you're looking for a support group, meetup.com has some groups in the metro area for shyness/social anxiety. i was in nyc over the summer and wanted to go so badly! but they only met when i was at my internship 

but if you can go, or maybe just message one of the members to have coffee, they might be able to suggest a better therapist for you.


----------

