# Schmoozing at work as the only way to get ahead



## Omgblood (Jun 30, 2010)

Pisses me off

which includes: being the right race, height, looks, culture

but of course admitting this give some satisfaction to some people


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## Liability (Jan 11, 2013)

totally agree. There really is a company image that people must fit in to or they wont belong.
if you cant network and build relationships then you get no where.


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## AnotherGuy (Aug 5, 2013)

Omgblood said:


> Pisses me off
> 
> which includes: being the right race, height, looks, culture
> 
> but of course admitting this give some satisfaction to some people


Thank you for posting this. I had a rather decent paying job at a Medicaid HMO. The problem is that it was in a call center and the higher ups were rather "ghetto people". The problem is that I'm a Hispanic but I got looked down to because I actually dressed professionally and I speak very well. For example, I never spoke to patients and providers in slang. A.) I don't speak like that in my personal life and B.) it sounds stupid. Mind you, I don't look down on anyone. In fact, I always had a pleasant and friendly demeanor at that job, towards everyone.

Being one of the newer reps, sometimes I had questions and I started noticing that I would get ignored, always being left to fend for myself. I taught myself everything I knew there and I taught myself well. I never had attendance problems. I noticed many female coworkers had attendance issues and were on disciplinary action. According to company guidelines, an employee cannot transfer to a new dept. or get to work from home while on disciplinary problems. I my record was clean as a whistle.

1) I applied to a different and better paying dept. I lost the position to a co worker on disciplinary action for calling out. A female.

2) I asked where to apply to work from home. I was told that it was a waiting list process. Days later my female co worker asked to work from home and they signed her up immediately.

It was a female dominated dept that constantly made inappropriate jokes about how men are inferior. I laughed it off in good spirits. But eventually one has to see when they will never pass the brick wall. I just stood up from my desk one day and walked out. I went to a local diner and had the best cheeseburger ever.


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## losteternal (Apr 1, 2013)

AnotherGuy said:


> Thank you for posting this. I had a rather decent paying job at a Medicaid HMO. The problem is that it was in a call center and the higher ups were rather "ghetto people". The problem is that I'm a Hispanic but I got looked down to because I actually dressed professionally and I speak very well. For example, I never spoke to patients and providers in slang. A.) I don't speak like that in my personal life and B.) it sounds stupid. Mind you, I don't look down on anyone. In fact, I always had a pleasant and friendly demeanor at that job, towards everyone.
> 
> Being one of the newer reps, sometimes I had questions and I started noticing that I would get ignored, always being left to fend for myself. I taught myself everything I knew there and I taught myself well. I never had attendance problems. I noticed many female coworkers had attendance issues and were on disciplinary action. According to company guidelines, an employee cannot transfer to a new dept. or get to work from home while on disciplinary problems. I my record was clean as a whistle.
> 
> ...


Good for you! I smacked My Manager over the head with a chair After years of the same treatment you suffered.


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## H8PPLNDGS (Mar 15, 2013)

Ironically, I have heard females loathing to work with other females. Female management can be even worse (at the work and volunteer settings). Females who band together like those at your workplace would probably be the first to backstab and sabotage each other when given the chance. Of course they need to lie and bully those outside the clique first because they feel they can. It's worse when you don't fit into a particular culture/subculture etc. 

I hate schmoozing, I just want to work and go home. It seems to only work if the people already like and accept you. It's like women being ok with *******s because they are attracted to them. Or you are good at manipulating people to get promoted until they run into someone who really does not like/trust them. 

There are days where I don't want to say ****ing hello to anyone especially when the other people feel forced to say it to you anyway. 

Work and volunteering can truly suck! Volunteering does more at times, besides the non-payment, most people do it because of that damn mandatory high school graduation requirement or other course ones plus the need to pad their portfolio if they are competing to get into certain schools or other jobs.


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## Omgblood (Jun 30, 2010)

AnotherGuy said:


> Thank you for posting this. I had a rather decent paying job at a Medicaid HMO. The problem is that it was in a call center and the higher ups were rather "ghetto people". The problem is that I'm a Hispanic but I got looked down to because I actually dressed professionally and I speak very well. For example, I never spoke to patients and providers in slang. A.) I don't speak like that in my personal life and B.) it sounds stupid. Mind you, I don't look down on anyone. In fact, I always had a pleasant and friendly demeanor at that job, towards everyone.


That _street_/slang accent is repulsive


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## ToughUnderdog (Jul 7, 2013)

This is just a sad reality out there in quite a few places (making a generalization here). It doesn't matter the quality of work and effort you put in for an organization, what matters is your ability to politicize with other higher-ups and take credit for the work as well as outcast others. 

Sometimes you get lucky with an organization, and sometimes you don't. If you feel stuck in a toxic work environment, it's time to get out. I would probably look for other jobs or go back to school and get a different degree.


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## Dan the man (Jul 4, 2013)

AnotherGuy said:


> It was a female dominated dept that constantly made inappropriate jokes about how men are inferior. I laughed it off in good spirits. But eventually one has to see when they will never pass the brick wall. I just stood up from my desk one day and walked out. I went to a local diner and had the best cheeseburger ever.


This is why it's so important to try to find a job that's right for you. I had a similar experience with a past job like yours. Female dominated department, I was the only one there who never had attendance issues, errors with work, and on my own pretty much with issues that would arise. I was eventually let go and it actually was a great feeling! I like you was never going to pass that brick wall there.

My current job is a little similar with those issues but no quite as bad. Though I tend to think I won't be able to pass that brick wall here either. I commend that you had the courage to just walk away. Just don't think I can with the economy being as sucky as it is.


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## Dimmie (Nov 17, 2013)

depends on the ones in power, dont use it as an excuse...life isnt fair, never has been, the world sucks and so do people, I dont like it either but we have to get on with life. If you just drop cause of it then nthey win, succeed in spite of all the bs


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## Speak English (Dec 28, 2013)

Brown nosing and sucking up are the bane of meritocracy. I've watched lesser qualified employees surge ahead because they were liked by the boss, subservient and agreeable and fitting a mold of compliance and mediocrity. Usually it's female bosses who do this garbage. Male bosses IMO are just better managers of people and inherently more fair. Yep, that sounds sexist and probably is, but that's my experience and as a woman. I feel like I get to speak that truth.


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## Dan the man (Jul 4, 2013)

Speak English said:


> Brown nosing and sucking up are the bane of meritocracy. I've watched lesser qualified employees surge ahead because they were liked by the boss, subservient and agreeable and fitting a mold of compliance and mediocrity. Usually it's female bosses who do this garbage. Male bosses IMO are just better managers of people and inherently more fair. Yep, that sounds sexist and probably is, but that's my experience and as a woman. I feel like I get to speak that truth.


Agree 150% with everything you just wrote


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## loophole (Apr 15, 2012)

Not in a union shop. I could tell my boss to kiss my *** and I would not even come close to losing my job.. basically has to be physical with witnesses that will talk. Keep in mind this is a union. See the whole deal with bullying in the nfl. Yep nfl players are union backed if you didn't know. You seen how that played out. And not to say guilty or not there was alot more to that story then face value. Just saying. My boss in another department. I went off on him like a nut job. I mean went off... screaming.. even hit him I. The back (not hard but hard enough to see if he'd do something) I could of lost my job for that but would of gotten it back due to contractual issues... judge me if you want but he was bullying me... it was just his style. Good and bad to his style of a boss.. His style is old school for sure... so much so that he wants me back in his dept. I know that for a fact. So now it's kinda cool we do talk and we have a mutual respect for each other to some extent. .. long story. But that's one place that often sucking up does nothing.


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## loophole (Apr 15, 2012)

Just gets you laughed at by other workers around you. That's attached to above msg


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## Omgblood (Jun 30, 2010)

Guess I should accept I'll be in a low position at work for the rest my life because I can't be well liked?


Even before I found my first job.. I was worried I was going to be passed over and overlooked just because I wasn't the most talktive. Heck, during the interview process I can act all cheery and outgoing but when it comes time to work, I can easily go a day without talking if I wanted to.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

They say hard work gets you ahead.

WRONG!

It's who you know and how good you suck up to them. Get on your knees and learn your role, wage slave.


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## greyandgreenbean77 (Dec 23, 2013)

*Thank You*



Dimmie said:


> depends on the ones in power, dont use it as an excuse...life isnt fair, never has been, the world sucks and so do people, I dont like it either but we have to get on with life. If you just drop cause of it then nthey win, succeed in spite of all the bs


*So true. My dad said that to me. He said it's about having street knowledge (metaphor) and book knowledge. You have to know how to work the system. It sucks, but that's life. Life is exactly like high school. I never get why people say it's not, but it is. You have to talk the talk and walk the walk to fit in with the right people who can get you where you need to be ie a lot of butt kissing. University is like that too. Team work, group work, blah blah blah see what we can achieve together! And a lot of things require you to do the whole group thing to even get involved in anything. I went to Berkeley for research and dreaded it because I knew the people would all act the same and I'd be different because I know people in my age group and how they mostly act the same. Well, I was right. I got along with them because I'm laid back and friendly, but I was very different and we had nothing in common and I didn't want to be apart of anything they did. Therefore a lot of the activities made me feel uncomfortabl when I was forced to pair up and look like I was friends with people I just met and had nothing in common with.Therefore, I have a feeling most introverts have different types of jobs where they aren't forced to preform infront of people. It's about knowing yourself and choosing a career that plays off your strengths not what you suck at. Basically society is geared toward one type of ideal. If your outside of the box break it.


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## Half The Man I Used To Be (Mar 5, 2014)

Omgblood said:


> Pisses me off
> 
> which includes: *being the right race*, height, looks, culture
> 
> but of course admitting this give some satisfaction to some people


:idea


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