# What rock bottom feels like?



## MorganKripnott (Dec 9, 2013)

So I am a junior in high school...and ever since I can remember I've hated public school. Whenever I have a class with no one that I'm friends with, I panic. I'm afraid that everyone will judge me if I'm not talking to somebody. It has always been a dream of mine to transfer from public school to online school. I thought that this year was okay, though. My best friend was in almost all of my classes. However, I just found out a week ago that she is leaving our school, and transferring to online school. The first thing I think of is how much I am going to miss her, and then I start worrying about how I will get through every day without a friend. (I don't talk to anyone else in the classes that I had with her) The day after I found out, I stayed home from school because I was so upset and anxious. Then the next day, I stayed home again. Now, it's coming up on the 4th day absent. I've been begging my mom to transfer to online school, but she just isn't sure. I literally feel like I cannot go to school. However, I feel extremely guilty at the same time, because I don't want my mom to get in trouble for keeping me home so many days. Plus, she is so upset that I'm so upset, and it's so hard for me to see her cry. I WANT to be able to go back to public school, but honestly I feel like I can't even give it a try. My mom set up a meeting with my counselor, the school psychologist, and the assistant principal. I'm hoping that we can discuss the process of leaving public school. I've done all my research, and I really want to do it. I have a job, so I'd still be getting some life experience. I don't know...I feel just so disappointed in myself for being so anxious about something that people do everyday. Just wondering if this is what rock bottom feels like...


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## Ronald yek (Dec 8, 2013)

I understand how you feel cause I am in similar situation as you do. Don't feel so sad you have not reached rock bottom yet. You will find the special someone someday. If you feel the need to talk you could talk to me .


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## housebunny (Oct 22, 2010)

Wow, I wish I'd been able to do that. I hope it works well for you.


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## needausername (Dec 7, 2013)

You have someone you call a "friend".

This is my childhood and early adulthood story:

When I was in middle school all the way through college and two years after, I had no friends. I wasn't picked last for projects/labs; I had to do group projects on my own and work twice as hard with a penalty to my grade. I have contemplated suicide in the past, and had to be taken to counselling. Not only that, I was addicted to Runescape; I only quit last year. This is rock bottom.

Go to college. It will benefit you. Don't worry about how the other people judge you; people treated me like I was a demon due to my autism. Rather focus on how you will be preparing for a wonderful career in the future.


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## vanishingpt (Mar 9, 2012)

Hey I know how you feel&#8230; I'm a little older than you are now, but when I was in junior/middle school and high school, not having your friend everywhere with you was hard. I knew a lot of other people felt the same way too because everyone just _had_ to go somewhere or be somewhere with their friend. And if you were by yourself, it was noticeable and time would pass by so slowly.

I would get anxious on the first couple days of school because my old friends from previous grades wouldn't be there anymore and I wasn't sure who I would hang out with&#8230; but you know what? I started talking to people in some of my different classes. I got to know some people and found out we meshed pretty well together and started eating lunch with them. It wasn't easy at first talking to new people, but it helped me make new friends and gain a new perspective.

So just letting you know&#8230; the first part is always the hardest. Maybe it will help you to talk to a school counsellor and be honest about your feelings. But hopefully they will be able to understand. Losing someone who's constantly around you is hard so look at this as an opportunity to grow  make some new friends, meet some new people&#8230; and you won't be at rock bottom anymore!


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## Solidify (Jul 29, 2013)

> I don't know...I feel just so disappointed in myself for being so anxious about something that people do everyday


MorganKrpitnott, so subconsciously, you know that leaving public school is not what you'd like to be doing... you're just fustrated that you're not able to stay there?

Leaving public school is not the right choice. You will just be suppressing whatever anxious sentiments you have when you are in school and unless you face them, they will snowball into something bigger down the road.

What do you think will happen after you would graduate from your online school? You'd be forced to get a job in the work face, which if your career isn't online, will still require you to work with your coworkers and manage yourself accordingly.

I know that leaving school seems like the easy way out right now, but it's not what you should be aiming for. Rather, tell us what is stopping you from making friends in school? What scares you about sparking a conversation with the person sitting beside you? What is going through your head when considering talking to someone?


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## realitysucks (Jan 18, 2013)




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## SaladDays (Nov 26, 2013)

The start is always the hardest,but my advice would be to not leave public school,for you own sake.You don't know whether or not you'll have a bad time,you only assume people judge you(which I think occurs often with us).The HS years are some of the best for some people,make an attempt to stay in a public school,see how it goes.If it goes badly you can have this as an excuse to do online schooling,but you will never know whether it did or not unless you try.


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