# Sleeping with older therapist



## DreamAway (Apr 29, 2012)

I had a recent experience where I was court ordered into rehab for drug addiction for 6 months, during this time I formed a close relationship with my female therapist, who I was forced to see at least twice a week. She was in her 40's I was in my 30's, towards the end we were in 'session' and she told me she loved me, which was a bit weird, but I rolled with it, tried to normalise it.

I finished rehab and a couple of weeks later, myself and my therapist were texting each other, in a way that was largely platonic to me. She told me how upset she was that I'd left, and that she had cried a lot bc she missed me so much. I felt flattered that my therapist was still interested in me, she was someone I held in high regard and she was 'in charge' of me for quite a while.

Anyway so we start drinking together over Skype pretty much every night. Well, a couple of weeks and a plane ride later, on her request, I was at her place and we were in bed together, me and my court ordered psychotherapist ... trippy. 

This happened up until one of my weekend 'visits' to her place when we had a small verbal fight. My therapist then said the deadly words "I wish we could get high together" (now to me, a drug addict, that was like a big green light). Then she took a few Valiums in front of me 'to sleep'. Now Valium was one of the main drugs I had been in rehab for, and I had not taken any since I had gotten clean nor did intend to, but seeing her take them was too much, and I thought if there was a problem with me taking them that she would stop me, considering our past dynamic. Anyway, I asked her if I could have some, she said to go ahead, so I did. 

I got high on Valium and then she was asking me to get her other harder drugs for us to take together, coke, heroin, ghb. I trusted her so much that whatever she said I'd go with, so I figured that if she, my drug therapist, was telling me to get some stuff, then it must be OK.

That was the start of my big relapse, went from Valium to heroin pretty fast, and I was very angry at my therapist for exposing me to those first few pills and asking me to get drugs for us. It was my choice and I accept that but to pull out benzos in front of me like that, considering I was in early recovery & looked up to her so much, was pretty reckless on her part I think. 

Anyway I am just 2 months clean again, after a utter HELL ride of 8 months or so, almost dying multiple times, I'm lucky to be alive.
I still feel all messed up about our 'relationship' and spend a lot of time ruminating and questioning her motivations and why she did what she did,was it OK etc. It sucks.

So, thanks very much for reading this far, I would value any opinions on how you view this situation. Are we just two adults doing our thing, or was I manipulated by someone who should of known better?

Love to hear your 2 cents.

Thanks.


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## DreamAway (Apr 29, 2012)

This thread might be in the wrong place, if so, I'm sorry I just didn't know where else to put it.


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## Gamaur (Jul 10, 2014)

@DreamAway No idea where this thread belongs on SAS, but who cares.

As a drug addict myself your story is extremely compelling to me. That lady is a real piece of work.

My 2 cents are to seek legal advice about suing the court in a higher court. This kind of story could be picked up by the media it's that insanely f'd up. Seriously look into it dude, if your story can be proven you are definitely entitled to a settlement for gross negligence.


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## LeeMann (Nov 29, 2012)

Your very therapist? Looks like she took advantage of you.

But how are things going now?


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## hoddesdon (Jul 28, 2011)

Yes, the therapist clearly breached ethics. First, it is unethical to have a private relationship with a client, and it is not only unethical but illegal to use drugs like heroin. Prevailing on a client or former client to do so is unethical too.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

This is so messed up. First, she's lost her therapeutic objective by desiring the lifestyle of her patients which she found more intriguing than her own. If she was truly in love with you, maybe she thought being an exciting broken bad boy was what you both really wanted. My last theory is that she sensed a distance growing and sabotaged your sobriety to potentially force you back into a therapeutic relationship to hold onto longer.

I'm so sorry you were abused like that.


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## MaryLea (Aug 17, 2014)

I am absolutely gobsmacked by this!! Had to read it again to make sure it wasn't my meds messing with me. Firstly, a massive well done for turning yourself around again, you should be so proud of what you have achieved and keep going with it :clap

Secondly, I am disgusted by this Therapists misconduct. You were being completely manipulated and taken advantage of. As a Nurse, I find it very disturbing that she has behaved so unprofessionally, irresponsibly, unethically...I could go on! It may be hard for you, but for the sake of yourself and others who this poor excuse of a therapist has corrupted, you must report it. I am not sure how that works in your neck of the woods, but I would be more than willing to help. I hope that you have a therapist/counsellor now? If not, I urge you to confide in someone registered within that remit, recommended and accredited by your own Doctor. 

Thirdly, I want you to know that whether this 'therapist' was in love with you are not, none of this situation is your fault. Anyone vulnerable should be under the care of someone trustworthy and competent, she abused you and your trust. It is very natural for someone to develop a closer connection with someone whether it be a patient, client or customer, her feelings may well have been genuine, God knows we've all been there, but anyone in this field has a duty of care to abide by, both professionally and morally, and she should not have acted upon those alleged feelings. 
I hope you find the strength to report this and to ultimately put it behind you. You are well on the road to recovery and worthy of much better things!!


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## Serephina (Apr 13, 2010)

DreamAway said:


> Anyway, I asked her if I could have some, she said to go ahead, so I did.
> 
> I got high on Valium and then she was asking me to get her other harder drugs for us to take together, coke, heroin, ghb. I trusted her so much that whatever she said I'd believe, so I figured that if she, my drug therapist, was telling me to get some stuff, then it must be OK!
> 
> Are we just two adults doing our thing,


I'm sorry, but you were 'just two adults doing your thing'. You're in your 30s ..... at what point are you going to take responsibility for your own actions?

Having said that, you should definitely report her ...... but perhaps you can't because of your part in the whole sorry story?

edit: just in case it's not immediately obvious, I've said what I've said TO BE SUPPORTIVE.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

I agree with what's been said so far. Congratulations on getting back on your feet, I know firsthand its like going through hell. I struggled with a cocaine and alcohol addiction for years. A lol of addicts don't make it out alive to ever see any kind of recovery.

I went thru something kind of similar to what you describe, years ago with my therapist when I was 16. I never slept with her, but we messed around several times in her office. It really, really messed with my head in a bad way. I lived in a very small town, and people started finding out about it. Some of the wid that found out gave me high fives, but most people thought I was just sick, a total nutcase. And that's what I felt like for years. I mean, who the hell messes around with their shrink? It took me a long time to realize it wasn't my fault, and that I was being manipulated. It w years before I would ever see another female therapist, and I try to avoid it even today. My old therapisended up moving out of state. I'm pretty sure she lost get license.

Most people sure stronger than they realize. You can get thru this. You have to believe that you were manipulated, and that none of it was your fault. Good luck to you.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Wow.. what is going to be weird is when she is court ordered to attend rehab herself.


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## Blawnka (Dec 12, 2011)

That's some crazy stuff straight out of a movie. Honestly I'd consider taking legal action against her...Her behavior is completely unacceptable, especially in her profession.


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

I've had a few therapists I would have slept with, without hesitation. I think I would have stopped before doing drugs with them though. Thing is, I haven't been addicted, so I don't know how strong, how overpowering that pull is.

I do think you were taken advantage of while vulnerable, she should have never suggested the drugs knowing you and addiction as well as she does. At the same time, you had a choice to say no or walk away from it, and you chose to use anyway knowing there would be bad consequences. And chose to get harder drugs and then use them too.

So I'd say 75% her at fault, 25% you at fault. Both o f you should have known better, but she is in the position of power and trust, abusing it. If she were just some random woman, it would be 'adults being adults' but her having been your therapist changes that drastically.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

I remember when I was about 22 years old, a therapist I was seeing asked me sexual questions and I had to go find myself another therapist. Just imagine feeling uncomfortable every time I go to a session? I should be able to feel comfortable around someone I am giving out my secrets to.


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## angelsfood (Jul 24, 2014)

Lol. Further proof, honestly people what more do you need to happen, that therapists are just as human as every one other human on the planet. Get family or friends to help you and yourself more than anything. Seriously. Never had drug problem. Never been into drugs. I actually won't even take any, even the "legal", "prescription" drugs. Drugs are drugs. Find a way (within yourself is the way) to get away from making the wrong choices. You made then wrong choice by not saying gee this isn't right to get anywhere beyond a professional relationship, it's you asking for trouble and not having any self discipline and will, but we as human beings have all been there in any way, so I don't judge really. You're 32. Be what a real person and a real adult is supposed to be. If you don't know, oh boy. Good luck. That's harsh but you need to be with yourself to have will and to keep it and think for yourself.


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## Umpalumpa (Jan 26, 2014)

There isnt much to say about this beyond that it was an experience (both good and bad) that just happend... Fault? Nobody's. You learnt what you needed to learn.
Your story reminds me of how everybody is a human being, and how laws are a complete mess (and quite a pathetic one)


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## Dre12 (Jul 25, 2014)

Fellow alcoholic/addict here too.

The therapist was highly unprofessional and should lose her job. Nonetheless, I believe that at 32 you have to take responsibility for your own actions. Particularly in the first instance when you started sleeping with her.

I am from the tougher love school of recovery and firmly believe that you have to look after yourself primarily. Addicts love excuses for their relapses but at the end of the day, you wanted to get mashed again. Hopefully you are now ready to straighten out your life.


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

Wow, I could be wrong, but she sounds like an energy vampire, taking advantage of your vulnerable position and kind of using you for her own drama needs and satisfaction. Maybe she is curious in the drug world (which you were trying to avoid) and thought it was harmless fun to engage in that, it was highly unprofessional. Yes, I'd say report her and even take legal action against her if possible.


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## DreamAway (Apr 29, 2012)

What awesome feedback, lots of valuable opinions there.

I want to add that I know I was responsible for choosing to take the Valium / drugs, and it was my choice to sleep to with my therapist, that's not what I'm interested in though. If you've ever had an ongoing & intense therapy, you'll understand the power dynamic in the room and how much you look up to, respect and value everything your therapist says. I'm mainly interested in opinions regarding my therapists behavior.

I know I messed up big time, believe me, and I take full responsibility. I have not let anyone know about what happened between us up until now, and have gone out of my way to protect my (now ex) therapist. 

Despite everything, I do really care about her and I don't intend on doing anything to mess her life up. Even though I feel like she betrayed my trust, abused her power and made some bad decisions, I still think she's just human, and at her core, I think she has good intentions. Please tell me if you think I'm misguided here?

Also, even though she works in a drug rehab setting and used to be a full blown heroin addict when she was in her teens, she is still currently still using all sorts of hard drugs. I didn't know this when I first started 'seeing her' after rehab but it slowly dawned on me that she was still using a lot but trying to hide that part of her life from me.

I know she has her own struggles, I just don't know why she drew me into her life. She had just gone through a separation and I am supposing she just wanted me as a distraction from her own pain.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

I have had sex with my therapist before which is fine imo. It's just sex. It doesn't have to imply a different relationship from doctor and patient. As for flying to her house and doing drugs, that's kind of messed up. She is a terrible person for getting you into drugs again. You should probably report her. In the future, just have sex with them if you want (in their office), but don't go past that. I don't think you should spend time with your therapist outside of therapy. You don't want to become friends or lovers. THat will completly bias their therapy. I guess it didn't matter in your case though since she was a terrible person. She was using you to fill the void in her crappy life. Probably why she became a therapist in the first place was to get an ego boost from others problems.


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## MaryLea (Aug 17, 2014)

DreamAway said:


> What awesome feedback, lots of valuable opinions there.
> 
> I want to add that I know I was responsible for choosing to take the Valium / drugs, and it was my choice to sleep to with my therapist, that's not what I'm interested in though. If you've ever had an ongoing & intense therapy, you'll understand the power dynamic in the room and how much you look up to, respect and value everything your therapist says. I'm just interested in opinions regarding my therapsists behavior, not my own.
> 
> ...


 Misguided. Sorry to be blunt! Her background is irrelevant. She is meant to be a therapist, that was her one and only role. Think of the next person (younger and even more vulnerable than you) who might have to go through the same thing, or goodness knows how many she has corrupted already. This woman shouldn't be practicing as a Therapist.


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## MaryLea (Aug 17, 2014)

And what the actual feck!...am I the only one who hasn't slept with their therapist(s)! I'm truly stunned by all of your stories!


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## munir (Jun 1, 2012)




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## uselessgoodfornothing (Sep 10, 2013)

i wish i could sleep with my therapist


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## masterridley (Jan 20, 2007)

I agree with @MaryLea. This has nothing to do with her doing it on purpose or not. It's about her being a danger to her future patients. How can she be of help if she's doing hard drugs herself?

And @DreamAway if you really think of your past 8 months as hell, then maybe you would be doing her a favour if you turned her in. If she's doing heroin or something like that, she's not going to end well. Someone has to help her too.


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## pollutedessence (Aug 18, 2014)

This is jacked on both ends. So tired of the victim card; you bought a plane ticket and you obviously wanted to sleep with her. You might have issues, but it's no excuse. You weren't freaking manipulated. You make your own decisions. Turn her in, get a new therapist and start taking responsibility for your own actions.


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## MaryLea (Aug 17, 2014)

pollutedessence said:


> This is jacked on both ends. So tired of the victim card; you bought a plane ticket and you obviously wanted to sleep with her. You might have issues, but it's no excuse. You weren't freaking manipulated. You make your own decisions. Turn her in, get a new therapist and start taking responsibility for your own actions.


I agree with you to a certain extent. But, forgive me for saying, have you ever had any sort of rehabilitation related Therapy or Counselling? If you have, then you would know that a person is at their most vulnerable at that time. You put your entire trust and faith in that one person that they will help you to get back on track. In order for therapy to be affective, that trust is the most important factor. Not to mention the absolute state that you are usually in at the beginning of that therapy process to begin with, irrespective of the irresponsible malpractice of such a therapist.

So I can not and will not believe that this gentleman was not manipulated to a degree. He is not the one that was meant to be in a position of accountability. It would be extremely easy for anyone to be swept away when the need for rehab really does imply that your life is already a mess (I say this from experience). I know that for about a year, my therapist had control of a lot of my decisions, my actions, my hope, and it is only in the recovery stages towards the end of your journey that you take that control back. To have that corrupted in any way throughout such an important process would only further distort and threaten an already unstable mentality. It is not a case of 'excuses', 'issues' or the 'victim card', those accusations couldn't be further from the obvious truth.


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## DreamAway (Apr 29, 2012)

@pollutedessence - you sound like you need a hug.

@masterridley - you're right, although she's got two kids and their father is already absent, I don't want the kids going state care on my conscience. Using or not, she's a good mum and if she needs help, she can put her own hand up.

@MaryLea - thanks for your support and well considered input into this situation, it's made getting my head around it all that much easier. Good vibes your way.

To conclude the situation to some degree -

The therapist in question resigned from her position without any input from myself, I spoke to her on the phone a week ago & it turns out she's been out of work for the last 2 months. She said she realised she needed a break from that particular field and needed to recharge.

So fair outcome - for her & for her kids and potentially for future clients (if she ever goes back that line of work).


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## 525826 (Aug 29, 2014)

speechless


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

MaryLea said:


> I agree with you to a certain extent. But, forgive me for saying, have you ever had any sort of rehabilitation related Therapy or Counselling? If you have, then you would know that a person is at their most vulnerable at that time. You put your entire trust and faith in that one person that they will help you to get back on track. In order for therapy to be affective, that trust is the most important factor. Not to mention the absolute state that you are usually in at the beginning of that therapy process to begin with, irrespective of the irresponsible malpractice of such a therapist.
> 
> So I can not and will not believe that this gentleman was not manipulated to a degree. He is not the one that was meant to be in a position of accountability. It would be extremely easy for anyone to be swept away when the need for rehab really does imply that your life is already a mess (I say this from experience). I know that for about a year, my therapist had control of a lot of my decisions, my actions, my hope, and it is only in the recovery stages towards the end of your journey that you take that control back. To have that corrupted in any way throughout such an important process would only further distort and threaten an already unstable mentality. It is not a case of 'excuses', 'issues' or the 'victim card', those accusations couldn't be further from the obvious truth.


This.


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## seeking777 (Oct 24, 2012)

Had a whole response ready to go and then read the update post. I sincerely hope she does not go back to therapy. She does not need to be practicing. I'm glad she's not working anymore as a counselor. Thinking that this lady could be doing this with other people pissed me off to no end. A "therapist" who gets romantically involved with their patients is really only harming and confusing them. I'm sure getting sexually involved with her didn't help your mental health or recovery much. Doing this only harms the patient. I don't know about Australia, but in the states she would have lost her license and been banned from practicing again. This type of thing is so sad. Man I wish you the best in your recovery. If you don't mind me making a suggestion, if you ever deal with a therapist again, maybe you could consider a man.


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## DreamAway (Apr 29, 2012)

Thank you for your replies guys, I appreciate it.

@Seeking

I would still appreciate reading what you wrote if you haven't deleted it yet...

it still messes with my head and I hate that I can't just 'get over it', I have had plenty of long term relationships in the past, but this has affected my head space in a much bigger way (and I'm 6 months down the track!).


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

Blawnka said:


> That's some crazy stuff straight out of a movie. Honestly I'd consider taking legal action against her...Her behavior is completely unacceptable, especially in her profession.


I agree. Legal action. She's a monster. She knows you're a drug addict and she used your addiction to get closer to you. She knew if you were using again she could control you. The sex is no big deal imo but your drug therapist pushing drugs on you is pure evil.

Suit her. If she's practicing she has insurance anyway. You can use the money to get yourself more treatment.

This is shocking. It won't even go to trial. Her attorney will settle immediately. Don't let her off the hook. She could have killed you. She could kill someone else.


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## rilakkuma (May 2, 2013)

Lawdddddddd!


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Awesome


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Gamaur said:


> @*DreamAway* No idea where this thread belongs on SAS, but who cares.
> 
> As a drug addict myself your story is extremely compelling to me. That lady is a real piece of work.
> 
> My 2 cents are to seek legal advice about suing the court in a higher court. This kind of story could be picked up by the media it's that insanely f'd up. Seriously look into it dude, if your story can be proven you are definitely entitled to a settlement for gross negligence.


Agreed.....



LeeMann said:


> Your very therapist? Looks like she took advantage of you.
> 
> But how are things going now?


Yep.



hoddesdon said:


> Yes, the therapist clearly *breached ethics*. First, it is *unethical to have a private relationship with a client*, and it is not only unethical but illegal to use drugs like heroin. Prevailing on a client or former client to do so is unethical too.


Yep...



KyleInSTL said:


> *This is so messed up*. First, she's *lost her therapeutic objective by desiring the lifestyle of her patients* which she found more intriguing than her own. If she was truly in love with you, maybe she thought being an exciting broken bad boy was what you both really wanted. My last theory is that she sensed a distance growing and sabotaged your sobriety to potentially force you back into a therapeutic relationship to hold onto longer.
> 
> *I'm so sorry you were abused like that*.


Me too.



MaryLea said:


> I am absolutely gobsmacked by this!! Had to read it again to make sure it wasn't my meds messing with me. Firstly, a massive well done for turning yourself around again, you should be so proud of what you have achieved and keep going with it :clap
> 
> Secondly, I am disgusted by this *Therapists misconduct*. You were being completely manipulated and taken advantage of. As a Nurse, I find it very disturbing that she has behaved so unprofessionally, irresponsibly, unethically...I could go on! It may be hard for you, but for the sake of yourself and others who this poor excuse of a therapist has corrupted, you must report it. I am not sure how that works in your neck of the woods, but I would be more than willing to help. I hope that you have a therapist/counsellor now? If not, I urge you to confide in someone registered within that remit, recommended and accredited by your own Doctor.
> 
> ...


Yep...



Serephina said:


> I'm sorry, but you were 'just two adults doing your thing'. You're in your 30s ..... *at what point are you going to take responsibility for your own actions?*
> 
> Having said that, you should definitely report her ...... but perhaps you can't because of your part in the whole sorry story?
> 
> edit: just in case it's not immediately obvious, I've said what I've said TO BE SUPPORTIVE.


First of all, and I am going to say this based on what I have seen on this site in the nearly ten years I have been on here. *There is a SEVERE problem with men regarding sex and "I am not a man if I don't get some" mentality. This is a WEAKNESS that men MUST get a handle on. We are better than this, gentlemen! We can say NO without having our masculinity questioned.*

Now, back to the topic where this ties in - she took advantage of this mentality. She "wanted to get into his head" too much and that cost her her career. She should never practice again after this incident. It's like a teacher abusing a student - WRONG on so many levels.

This was abuse.



knightofdespair said:


> Wow.. what is going to be weird is when she is court ordered to attend rehab herself.


Likely.



Blawnka said:


> That's some crazy stuff straight out of a movie. Honestly I'd consider taking legal action against her...Her behavior is completely unacceptable, especially in her profession.


He would have a valid case.



mjkittredge said:


> I've had a few therapists I would have slept with, without hesitation. I think I would have stopped before doing drugs with them though. Thing is, I haven't been addicted, so I don't know how strong, how overpowering that pull is.
> 
> I do think you were taken advantage of while vulnerable, she should have never suggested the drugs knowing you and addiction as well as she does. At the same time, you had a choice to say no or walk away from it, and you chose to use anyway knowing there would be bad consequences. And chose to get harder drugs and then use them too.
> 
> So I'd say 75% her at fault, 25% you at fault. Both o f you should have known better, but she is in the position of power and trust, abusing it. If she were just some random woman, it would be 'adults being adults' but her having been your therapist changes that drastically.


There should NEVER be those kinds of feelings for a therapist - it ruins objectivity.



uselessgoodfornothing said:


> i wish i could sleep with my therapist


I don't think the OP is trying to convey or promote this.



DreamAway said:


> @pollutedessence - you sound like you need a hug.
> 
> @masterridley - you're right, although she's got two kids and their father is already absent, I don't want the kids going state care on my conscience. Using or not, she's a good mum and if she needs help, she can put her own hand up.
> 
> ...


Whether or not she has her kids is on her - she committed severe violations when she breached professional ethics and even legalities. She has to be held accountable.



DreamAway said:


> Thank you for your replies guys, I appreciate it.
> 
> @*Seeking*
> 
> ...


Sadly, it may take more therapy to undo the damage. This is abuse, DreamAway. Don't minimize; it's traumatic.



RelinquishedHell said:


> Awesome


Not if you are in his shoes. Did you read his posts?


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## forgetmylife (Oct 1, 2011)

DreamAway said:


> I had a recent experience where I was court ordered into rehab for drug addiction for 6 months, during this time I formed a close relationship with my female therapist, who I was forced to see at least twice a week. She was in her 40's I was in my 30's, towards the end we were in 'session' and she told me she loved me, which was a bit weird, but I rolled with it, tried to normalise it.
> 
> I finished rehab and a couple of weeks later, myself and my therapist were texting each other, in a way that was largely platonic to me. She told me how upset she was that I'd left, and that she had cried a lot bc she missed me so much. I felt flattered that my therapist was still interested in me, she was someone I held in high regard and she was 'in charge' of me for quite a while.
> 
> ...


Always remember that everyone is only human. Authoritative figures aren't gods with divine intelligence (therapists, doctors). I don't think she used you, just probably fell in love and her human instincts took over her professional ideals. Whether it was ok or not is subjective, and if you almost died and aren't ok with that, then I would say that that is a big red flag for you that it was NOT ok in your book!

Maybe you just took it too far with the drugs, but that's possibly inevitable given your history.


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## forgetmylife (Oct 1, 2011)

MaryLea said:


> And what the actual feck!...am I the only one who hasn't slept with their therapist(s)! I'm truly stunned by all of your stories!


I think it's different for men as sex can be more "straightforward" for us and not have to include an emotional aspect...


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## forgetmylife (Oct 1, 2011)

Gamaur said:


> @*DreamAway* No idea where this thread belongs on SAS, but who cares.
> 
> As a drug addict myself your story is extremely compelling to me. That lady is a real piece of work.
> 
> My 2 cents are to seek legal advice about suing the court in a higher court. This kind of story could be picked up by the media it's that insanely f'd up. Seriously look into it dude, if your story can be proven you are definitely entitled to a settlement for gross negligence.


good advice!


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## seeking777 (Oct 24, 2012)

@DreamAway In the response I wrote I just wanted to ask you to re-think and reconsider reporting this woman because if she is hired somewhere else as a therapist it is very likely that she will do this again with another patient. You've already attested to the fact that this relationship has harmed you emotionally, not to mention you did not receive the proper treatment that you needed. Other people could be set back in their recovery by this lady, others before you probably were. I would bet that she has been romantically involved with other patients before you.

My point is this lady is not fit to be anyone's therapist. Just as you are taking responsibility for your part in this and dealing with the consequences, she must do the same. This woman broke the ethics and rules that she swore to uphold when she received her license. She has to be held accountable and deal with the consequences of her actions as well. At the very least, I hope you consider the suggestions made by others about legal action.

I sincerely hope you are able to heal from this experience and move forward in a positive direction with your life.


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## ilsr (Aug 29, 2010)

I don't know how this relates to SA. I will admit when I dreamed about having an "affair" with a woman therapist or two I had seen. Of course being a virgin into the mid-30's and beyond you wonder what kind of screwed up life you have as a useless shy male.

That said, I stopped seeing therapists at 22. Two decades later, I realize half of the psych filled "profession" is just quackery and money from big pushy pharma. Most people are in certain chosen jobs within their capabilities to hold because they need income most of the time. No such thing as a luxury of choosing your profession unless one is a born genius. A lot of today's instutitions are deteroiating. Police and new trained police act more like thugs with people training to be police for the good money who have no business being police because they just want to be paid bullies. 

I guess if I was caught on drugs, I could have a forced court-mandated psychotherapy. But I've never been on drugs/alchohol (doesn't help the SA either). Severe SA , actually SP guys like myselfs are probably deemed too weak/unattractive/immature even to hungry for young attractive "in-patient" attractive female therapists anyways.


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## ShineGreymon (May 30, 2013)

*reads thread*

Hey, you know, I just remembered I've been meaning to get myself a therapist lately!...

#Therapistgame


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## hoddesdon (Jul 28, 2011)

MaryLea said:


> And what the actual feck!...am I the only one who hasn't slept with their therapist(s)! I'm truly stunned by all of your stories!


No, I haven't either.


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## forgetmylife (Oct 1, 2011)

ShineGreymon said:


> *reads thread*
> 
> Hey, you know, I just remembered I've been meaning to get myself a therapist lately!...
> 
> #Therapistgame


Haha! My thoughts exactly lol

I used to have a therapist and it crossed my mind, I would have never brought it up though because of the taboo and awkwardness if she said no.


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## 8love8 (Sep 11, 2011)

Messed up for sure but like us all... humans.... therapist are no saints.


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## forgetmylife (Oct 1, 2011)

angelsfood said:


> Never had drug problem. Never been into drugs. I actually won't even take any, even the "legal", "prescription" drugs. Drugs are drugs.


No way man! :no I have limited drug experience and even in my dabbling, no way in hell are all drugs similar to any extent. I also think that psychedelics are great for people who want to experience something that is just not possible without them. Can really help open your mind and realize that there is much more to life than life itself.

Some drugs don't even cross the blood-brain barrier, so you can't even tell they are in your system.

Some drugs, like ssris for example, have such a subtle effect (at least in my experience and on my biological makeup) that their subjective effect is barely even perceivable.

Some drugs like cocaine (haven't tried) and heroin (tried) make you feel really good and comfortable and at peace (heroin), and can be used over and over again as tolerance slowly builds and are highly addictive with nasty w/d symptoms. But you are still on earth and can act normal, you just feel great!

Some drugs (benzos for example) don't make you feel as good, but still have horrible w/d symptoms that can kill you.

Then you have psychedelics such as MDMA (which will love you up and send you to outer space if you take enough) and Weed (will make you retarded and laugh your *** off if you smoke too much; time will slow down). As good as heroin feels, it still doesn't mind**** me as much as .4 grams of quality mdma in one go.

Then you have LSD, mescaline, etc. which is apparently much more powerful than shrooms, that will put you in a place that mdma alone can't.

Then there's DMT which I've never done either, but it's supposed to be the psychedelic grand daddy.

And psychedelics aren't even addictive, yet they'll send you to outer space. And drugs like heroin and coke (I'm assuming for coke), won't send you to outer space, but will make you feel super dank. You can't really compare quality heroin to Vicodin for example, and you sure as hell can't compare ANY pharmaceutical to psychedelics...

Apples and oranges, there are HUGE differences between different drugs of different classes.


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## angelsfood (Jul 24, 2014)

No, no, check out the ROCKEFELLER FOUNDATION. And the CIA behind all drugs. You're not doing anything special by turning to any drugs. All drugs are... not in your best interest let's say the least. And somehow I knew this before ever knowing of Rockefeller, the CIA and the rest of the garbage.


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## DreamAway (Apr 29, 2012)

@*millenniumman75*

You're a legend! Thanks for taking the time to run through all of that, I appreciate the insight. I hope your lungs and running legs are still coming good after the mad cold you had... oh & don't forget to stretch. haha.

@*seeking777*

Thanks for your supportive words, good vibes your way.

@*forgetmylife*



> Always remember that everyone is only human. Authoritative figures aren't gods with divine intelligence (therapists, doctors). I don't think she used you, just probably fell in love and her human instincts took over her professional ideals.
> 
> Maybe you just took it too far with the drugs, but that's possibly inevitable given your history.


It's helpful to hear an intelligent, humanistic point of view, thank you.


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## forgetmylife (Oct 1, 2011)

angelsfood said:


> No, no, check out the ROCKEFELLER FOUNDATION. And the CIA behind all drugs. You're not doing anything special by turning to any drugs. All drugs are... not in your best interest let's say the least. And somehow I knew this before ever knowing of Rockefeller, the CIA and the rest of the garbage.


not sure if troll... but just in case you're legit, here's my response:












DreamAway said:


> @*millenniumman75*
> 
> You're a legend! Thanks for taking the time to run through all of that, I appreciate the insight. I hope your lungs and running legs are still coming good after the mad cold you had... oh & don't forget to stretch. haha.
> 
> ...


thanks for the kind words


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## angelsfood (Jul 24, 2014)

Hthis site is so sad. I got to go. Live.


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## lilyamongthorns (Aug 13, 2012)

You should report this therapist before she hurts other people. She's a wolf in sheep's clothing, preying on those who are weak for selfish gain. It's very creepy.


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## forgetmylife (Oct 1, 2011)

lilyamongthorns said:


> You should report this therapist before she hurts other people. She's a wolf in sheep's clothing, preying on those who are weak for selfish gain. It's very creepy.


yea, you can say what she did was very "unprofessional", wrong, etc. and I'd have to agree, especially when it comes to the drug use.

she probably should be reported, I don't know what the procedure is, it would be sad to see someone unable to work a job they genuinely loved, and it would be better to see a temporary suspension and rehabilitation for this therapist imo...


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Gamaur said:


> @*DreamAway* No idea where this thread belongs on SAS.


Lots of us have the therapist and MILF fantasy.


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## Blue Sponge (Sep 22, 2014)

Dude. It is an extreme breach of ethics and professional codes of conduct and she really needs to be reported. Other posters have said it better than me. I'll just leave you with this link.

https://www.ranzcp.org/Mental-health-advice/Complaints-about-psychiatrists.aspx


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## Zack (Apr 20, 2013)

I think my psychiatric nurse (sees me in the community regularly) has the hots for me. I can't blame her, really.


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## bubbletea (May 31, 2014)

The lady is crazy... I don't know if psychiatrists have licenses or whatever but if anybody found out you guys had a personal relationship, she would lose her right to practice.

She definitely crossed the line and manipulated you.


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## JohnnyAlonzo (Jan 25, 2013)

Wow.. This whole thread has been a fascinating read.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

Imbored21 said:


> I have had sex with my therapist before which is fine imo. It's just sex.


I agree with this. I don't understand why people are so against doing their therapist for a bit of fun.


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## DreamAway (Apr 29, 2012)

Well, the damage is done, and I figure she's just another person, who messes up & does the the wrong thing sometimes. All in all, she's a better person than most that I've known and that's got to count for a lot.

I'm rather glad I didn't report her or do anything to mess with her life ie talking to other people she knew about what happened (except for you lot  ).

For those of you that missed the point, the sex was fine, it's the suggestion of / and taking drugs together that was the significant issue to me.


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## pollutedessence (Aug 18, 2014)

DreamAway said:


> @pollutedessence - you sound like you need a hug.


Nah, no hug needed, but thanks!  I just call it like it is.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

I actually much prefer male therapists over females. Since most of the issues I have, I would feel a lot more comfortable talking to a guy about it. Plus i'm just naturally more comfortable socially around men than women. 

Also I don't want to become attracted to my therapists, then that means I will hold back what I want to say because i'm usually intimidated by women i'm attracted to. If she's a cute redhead, i'll fall in love immediately. Great in other situations, not for therapy though :/


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## nameless3903787489796 (Sep 6, 2013)

DreamAway said:


> I had a recent experience where I was court ordered into rehab for drug addiction for 6 months, during this time I formed a close relationship with my female therapist, who I was forced to see at least twice a week. She was in her 40's I was in my 30's, towards the end we were in 'session' and she told me she loved me, which was a bit weird, but I rolled with it, tried to normalise it.
> 
> I finished rehab and a couple of weeks later, myself and my therapist were texting each other, in a way that was largely platonic to me. She told me how upset she was that I'd left, and that she had cried a lot bc she missed me so much. I felt flattered that my therapist was still interested in me, she was someone I held in high regard and she was 'in charge' of me for quite a while.
> 
> ...


Sorry for my blunt honesty, but your therapist doesn't sound very professional.

Therapists and clients aren't supposed to be friends or lovers with each other, they are supposed to keep their relationship as professional as possible. By getting too close with her clients, she is violating her counseling ethics. 
Now when a therapist and client are in a therapy session with each other, they are forming a relationship with each other.
And when they decide to get close to each other and become friends or lovers, they are creating this situation whereby they have multiple relationships with each other at the same time, and hence this makes it difficult for the therapy sessions to be conducted successfully, because it's impossible to be someone's therapist and friend/lover at the same time.
When a therapist gets too personal with her clients, and form a close personal bond with her client, their relationship end up being altered. The client starts viewing her in a different way, and if the relationship didn't work out, the client will end up putting up an emotional wall up around her and the flow of the therapy sessions would end up being affected as well.

Every profession comes with an ethical code, and this includes counselors. This is the ethical code of counseling, the therapist and client are supposed to maintain a professional relationship with each other at all times. If your therapist is unable to keep her personal feelings out from her profession, then perhaps she needs to reconsider her career path.


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## Mr A (Oct 7, 2015)

Honestly that situation you're in OP, is pretty hot, ngl. Still, if you are literally doing drugs and having sex with her, then surely it should be completely out of the MH system. Basically a friend with benefits.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

This is a really old thread.


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