# Embarassed about asking for help



## PeopleAreStrange (Jun 4, 2009)

Admitting I have a problem to someone(especially my mother) is my biggest issue. 
Also I'm nervous about the cost... I have health insurance, but she'll have to drive me to and from appointments which is a waste of her time and... gas is expensive. 

I don't even know if I have a question here... how can I ask her with minimal embarassment?


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

The fact you are worried about being embarrassed in front of your mom for getting therapy and you are concerned about gas/time says a lot.



How old are you?


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## mm10 (Jan 13, 2010)

I felt the exact same way for a long time but that only makes things worse. I just recently talked to my parents a couple of weeks ago and I am starting to see a therapist now and trying to make progress. Being embarrassed about having a problem leads to more avoidance which makes you feel worse and eventually, you become even more embarrassed that you tried to hide everything for so long. It is a vicious cycle that will not get better until you make that first step.


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## PeopleAreStrange (Jun 4, 2009)

VanDamMan said:


> The fact you are worried about being embarrassed in front of your mom for getting therapy and you are concerned about gas/time says a lot.
> 
> How old are you?


I'm 14.



mm10 said:


> I felt the exact same way for a long time but that only makes things worse. I just recently talked to my parents a couple of weeks ago and I am starting to see a therapist now and trying to make progress. Being embarrassed about having a problem leads to more avoidance which makes you feel worse and eventually, you become even more embarrassed that you tried to hide everything for so long. It is a vicious cycle that will not get better until you make that first step.


I keep putting it off though. Sometimes I feel like I can manage without and don't deserve help, sometimes I can't believe how I let this drag on so long.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

PeopleAreStrange said:


> Admitting I have a problem to someone(especially my mother) is my biggest issue.
> Also I'm nervous about the cost... I have health insurance, but she'll have to drive me to and from appointments which is a waste of her time and... gas is expensive.
> 
> I don't even know if I have a question here... how can I ask her with minimal embarassment?


What's more important, though? A few gallons of gas or your well-being?


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## Dempsey (Jun 27, 2009)

14? Don't worry about the expense. It's good if you can receive some form of help now rather than when you're my age.

Also consider that she probably already knows you're quite shy. I don't think it would be surprising to her if you told her how painful it is for you.


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## idontwant (Mar 17, 2009)

VanDamMan said:


> The fact you are worried about being embarrassed in front of your mom for getting therapy and you are concerned about gas/time says a lot.


As far as I'm concerned it says that you actually have a problem you need help with. Unless your mum is a bad mother, she wants what's best for you and will do anything to help you. Get help while it's not too late.


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## Steve123 (Sep 13, 2009)

I'd have to agree, as embarrassing as it might be, I really recommend you go through with this. If I could have first gotten help back when I was 14 my life would have been completely different. I know it might seem embarrassing now, but if you can deal with this early, you'll save yourself a lifetime of misery pain and isolation.

It's up to you, but if I could go back and do it, I SOOO would.


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## PeopleAreStrange (Jun 4, 2009)

millenniumman75 said:


> What's more important, though? A few gallons of gas or your well-being?


My evil side tells me that _I'm full of **** and should suck it up. My well-being is just fine, thank you._

I don't want to add to her stress. If a therapist was within walking distance, it would be a different story.



Dempsey said:


> 14? Don't worry about the expense. It's good if you can receive some form of help now rather than when you're my age.
> 
> Also consider that she probably already knows you're quite shy. I don't think it would be surprising to her if you told her how painful it is for you.


Thing is, I don't know how to tell her. 3 months ago I begged her to get me a therapist for depersonalization. She didn't find one. And I still have depersonalization. 


idontwant said:


> As far as I'm concerned it says that you actually have a problem you need help with. Unless your mum is a bad mother, she wants what's best for you and will do anything to help you. Get help while it's not too late.


She's the best mom ever... and that's sort of why I feel bad about dragging her around with me. I feel like I dissappoint her. She doesn't believe in anxiety disorders, she just thinks I'm a hypochondriac. I am, I know, but still. 



Steve123 said:


> I'd have to agree, as embarrassing as it might be, I really recommend you go through with this. If I could have first gotten help back when I was 14 my life would have been completely different. I know it might seem embarrassing now, but if you can deal with this early, you'll save yourself a lifetime of misery pain and isolation.
> 
> It's up to you, but if I could go back and do it, I SOOO would.


That's sorta nerve-wracking. :/


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## Steve123 (Sep 13, 2009)

PeopleAreStrange said:


> That's sorta nerve-wracking. :/


How come?


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## PeopleAreStrange (Jun 4, 2009)

Steve123 said:


> How come?


That puts a lot of pressure on me, knowing my time is... escaping. It's pretty late now, I think I'll just email her... god that seems so odd. Who does that? Who emails their mom with a question like that? :|


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## lde22 (Oct 19, 2009)

You should definitely try to do something about your social anxiety now. I'm 23 and have a SA since I was about 14. You're lucky you even know you have a problem, I didn't when I was 14 I just thought I was weird. If you don't do something about it now then it is only going to get worse. I am still too embarrassed to see a therapist and have been trying to help myself with self help books but my SA and depression has only gotten worse.

If you really don't want to see a therapist then you might consider try buying that social anxiety workbook that is advertised on this site. I've also heard a lot of good things about a CD program called "Overcoming social anxiety: Step by Step" but it's $260! You can get it here: http://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/audioseries.html I have been thinking about buying but it's so expensive.

Your mother doesn't believe in anxiety disorders? Go to the library and find a good book on anxiety disorders and ask her to read it, hopefully that will convince her that your problems are real.


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