# should I find a new therapist?



## fallen18 (Aug 25, 2011)

I mean I dont mind the therapist im seeing now, its just that I feel like......I dont know under pressure? he always asks how I feel or what I think about a certain sittuation which is normal but makes me uncomfortable since I dont exactly know what I feel about things and when I say I dont know he pesters me about it sorta asking it a different way like 3 times? Overall though he's nice....but I just feel like he's not helping me though with my social anxiety we only talked about it a little and all he tells me is to practice breathing and try and get out more, which I try but its not helping my anxiety so much...I've been going to him for about 5 months once every week but all we talk about is how my week went and what stressed me out so I dont feel any better really.  Do you think I should go somehwere else or try a diffrent kind of therapy??


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## SpitfireJane (Aug 25, 2011)

That's a tough decision probably only you can make. Therapy isn't supposed to be the easiest thing. It causes us to look at ourselves. It might help if you actually open up to this therapist and tell him how you feel about things. If you don't it wont give him any insight to help you.


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## fallen18 (Aug 25, 2011)

I know its hard and that you have to work to get better and all. So I try to open up, but as silly as it sounds and im serious I have no idea how i feel sometimes :no. Im mostly open talking about my anxiety because I know how I feel with it and I know what makes me nervous but when it comes to how I feel with other matters? :sigh blank.......but...well since I talk about my anxiety more openly than other things with me shouldnt I be getting a little better with it or somthing?? I really dont know how therapy works or when people start to improve since this is the first therapist i've seen so far. But I do everything he says to do like practice breathing, going out more often, cutting back on coffee all that but I dont feel any better and I still have anxiety attacks


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## Xande (Jul 18, 2011)

If after five months, you don't feel better, then why not switch especially if you've been going once a week. 

I just started therapy again and I told my therapist on the first day that I'm looking to get better, since my past therapists would just ask me how my week went and I felt like I wasn't improving my negative thinking or my poor self esteem. 

I told him I wanted to focus on that and he said he thinks he could help, so I'm going to try him out for a while. Although I just recently had my first session and not sure how I feel, but I'll give it a few more sessions to see if I get more comfortable with him (also first time with a male therapist).


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## fallen18 (Aug 25, 2011)

Thats true, I guess i'll talk to my parents about switching because my therapist basically does the same thing yours used to with the whole "how did your week go?" thing and to tell the truth my weekends arent really eventful :yawn so there isnt much to talk about. But like you said I feel like im not improving on anything just talking about a bunch of other stuff. So im going to look into finding another one to help me out and also best of luck to you! I hope everything goes well with your therapist


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

If you don't want to talk about weekends, tell him that. Then tell him why.

If you don't know how you feeel, say that. How does it make you feel that you don't know how you feel. Sounds like you feel pressured. Say that.

In order for therapy to work, you have to participate.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

Does he specialize in anxiety disorders or CBT? If not - I would advise getting another therapist. Trying breathing exercises & getting out more is the kind of advice I'd get from someone who doesn't truly understand SA. There should be more focus on the kind of thoughts you're getting before, during & after a situation.


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## fallen18 (Aug 25, 2011)

I dont know I feel like when someone ask you how was your weekend went its just a nice opening conversation so if I was like I dont really want to talk about my weekend i would feel as if im being rude :sigh and I honestly dont mindd talking about how my weekend went I just wish he would be more help with my anxiety. And EarlGreyDregs ya I know thats what I thought too and it feels like he dosent want to talk about it allot like I try to bring it up and we talk about it for a little while but it switches to another topic or whenever I dont follow through with somthing like going out allot to places he seems upset with me so I feel bad  I try to do all those things but I cant help that I feel uncomfortable in crowds or social sittuations apparently I have "agoraphobia" so its tough for me to go out:doorand I think he just expects me to change and be like BAM better and i wish it did work like that but it dosent and just practicing breathing I dont think is going to make me change being nervous and all that. Also he's a Psychotherapist so I thinkk he's had some sort of learning about anxiety?? but I have no clue?? therapist, social worker, psycotherapist, or psycologist they all seem the same to me lol


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## pancake111 (Sep 3, 2011)

I sort of have the same problem, except my therapist doesn't pressure me enough. I don't like talking about my feelings, so if she doesn't ask me about them, I'm not going to tell her. So every week I felt like we were going no where.

You should let him know about your worries, so he can get better, and help you more.


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## beagleman (May 27, 2011)

Hello, I think you should probably get another therapist. I changed my psychologist about 6 months ago, I felt I had no rapport with her and no dirction. It is hard because i have learnt at times the psychologist cannot show empathy or reinforce negative beliefs you have about yourself so you think they are uncaring but this is a long way from the truth they care alot. In my case my first psychologist did not help me address my social anxiety and so it was good that I moved on to someone that would give me the direction to help face my fears with social anxiety and it sounds like you are not getting the exposure or exercises to help your social anxiety. One last point about me i went to my appointment today only to be told that my therapist has resigned and is taking up dancing classes. This was very unfortunate and a step backwards for me as I have to find a new psychologist, establish rapport and trust and give my full history again so you can see it is not easy changing therapists.


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## buckeyefan1 (May 10, 2011)

Yeah, this may be my bias kicking in, but I would definitely talk to the therapist. Working with teens is difficult because there 's so often ambivalence about therapy and lack of motivation to follow through on "homework assignments". Don't get me wrong, this is also certainly the case for many adults and perhaps you're one of the few teens that would actually follow up on things you and a therapist worked on in therapy, but tweens and teens are notoriously a challenging group with which to work and perhaps some of the therapist's approach is related to the fact that you're so young. Letting the therapist in on what you're looking for, however, and letting him/her know that you're committed to getting well may alter how he/she works with you. Specific ideas for what to ask: 1) Has the therapist worked with teens with SA? 2) What is the therapist's treatment plan? Also, it is not unusual for someone your age to have no idea how to talk about feelings and there are exercises a good therapist should be able to give or do with you to help you identify and talk about feelings; again JUST ASK. If your therapist is unwilling or unable to change his/her approach based on this conversation, then I would consider switching.


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## blue the puppy (Jul 23, 2011)

if you've been going for five months, i'd say you've certainly given it a try and its not working out. your relationship and level of trust with the therapist is the most important thing.


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