# Talking Safe Sex With A Guy???



## No1 (Oct 28, 2005)

I'm not in a relationship right now but how do you approach the subject of wanting a guy to wear a condom during oral sex. I know most guys won't like it and expect not to have to, but it's the only safe way. And how will a guy react to the idea of performing oral on a girl after this conversation.

:con


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

If you both get tested for STDs, and you know it is a monogamous relationship, that is the other way that it is safer. But not entirely safe.

It is the performing oral sex on a girl that would probably be harder and not very fun if you had to use a latex barrier.

I guess it is just one of those things that you need to talk about and should be able to if you are going to go that far with your partner.


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## Steven G. (May 18, 2006)

The idea of wearing a condom for oral sex don't sound too fun, but then again if a girl asked me for oral I'm putting some plastic over that thing lol yuk!

I guess no cap no head.


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## Becky (Nov 5, 2003)

Why even bother with oral sex if you're going to be covered with plastic. If you expect him to cover it up, then you should do the same for him in return.


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## No1 (Oct 28, 2005)

I wouln't expect a guy to do anything I wouldn't and vice versa. Personally, I could live without orally completely (I never received), but most guys want it. The last guy I dated had been with dozens of girls and had never been tested and wasn't interested in getting tested because he said he was never with a "dirty" girl. And even if you're in a monogamous relationship your partner could cheat on you and give you something. I mean just look at this website it shows how dangerous it could be http://www.dph.sf.ca.us/sfcityclinic/st ... dchart.asp


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## SunLite (Jan 4, 2005)

I never give oral unless I know the girl hasnt been around PERIOD.

And always use a rubber. You never know what the hell can be going around both ways. And unwanted pregnancies suck


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## Steven G. (May 18, 2006)

Wow If I'm reading that site right it looks like performing oral sex on a man is more dangerous then a women. I always though it was the otherway around.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

It's equal.


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## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

Steven G. said:


> Wow If I'm reading that site right it looks like performing oral sex on a man is more dangerous then a women. I always though it was the otherway around.


yeah, it seems more.. juicier, right? and if the guy recently shaved, then his face would be raw and have little cuts. things like that.. not to mention chapped lips, cuts on his fingers, toes, chest, etc.

I've actually tried a dental dam before. My gf laughed when I showed her. It's like a 5 inch square of latex. and it sucks using it.



No1 said:


> how do you approach the subject of wanting a guy to wear a condom during oral sex.


You mention it when you're talking about sex. It's no big deal. If he respects you, then he won't have a problem with it.


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## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

Inturmal said:


> I've actually tried a dental dam before. My gf laughed when I showed her. It's like a 5 inch square of latex. and it sucks using it.


What's a dental dam?

And do guys really have that big of a hang-up on performing oral sex on a girl?


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## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

NightinGale said:


> What's a dental dam?
> 
> And do guys really have that big of a hang-up on performing oral sex on a girl?


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dental_dam
http://www.barnard.edu/health/dentaldams.htm

I don't have any hangups about it whatsoever (assuming things are clean down there). I'd say that most guys are more than happy to get down to business.

and the dental dams I got were actually for some rear action.. I think I'll stop talking about that now.


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## Your Lover Scrub Ducky (Jul 26, 2004)

No1 - Just bring it up. You should be able to be open about anything in a relationship. He may not like it, but its not that big a deal. What's he gonna do, break up with you for making him wear one? If thats the case, he's obviously not in it for the right reasons.

I've _allways_ worn a rubber. I'm paranoid about STD's. In fact, I wish they had full-body condoms I could wrap myself in whenever I go at it. I'll prolly never do anything without a condom untill I'm ready to have kids.

I love condoms. Even though they hurt like a ***** and cut off my circulation and turn my dick a lovely shade of purple and leave a deep magenta colored ring at the base.

http://www.rubberduckycondoms.com


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## Vincenzo (Sep 24, 2005)

Sex without one would be unthinkable. However, I would refuse to perform cunninlingus on general principle if she insisted on a covered bj, and I like performing it. 

The idea of contracting something is kind of bothersome though because I'd be too embarrassed to go to a doctor so I'd just have to kill myself or move to a third-world country. Just make sure the guy is clean.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

hmm ive had oral sex with a rubber; its not bad. its better without one of course but its still good with a condom 



No1 said:


> I wouln't expect a guy to do anything I wouldn't and vice versa. Personally, I could live without orally completely (I never received)


lordy. if this guys is so persistent on you giving him oral without a condom and you comply with him, tell him he _must_ do you first. youre missing out

i never had a problem using a condom during oral when someone asked me to. dont feel that you have to comply with the guy. its ok to set boundaries on sutiations like these


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

I believe that some condoms are made with a candy syrup on the outside, so that could work for some people.


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## odun (Nov 9, 2003)

ugh.

oral sex with a condom?

that sounds unpleasant for both parties.

im baffled at the levels of anhedonia in our society.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

*Re: re: Talking Safe Sex With A Guy???*



odun said:


> ugh.
> 
> oral sex with a condom?
> 
> ...


who says theres no pleasure with a condom? i dont see why safe sex should take a back seat for enhanced pleasure


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## No1 (Oct 28, 2005)

Gumaro said


> who says theres no pleasure with a condom? i dont see why safe sex should take a back seat for enhanced pleasure


:agree

I guess it just comes down to if he's not willing to wear a condom, he doesn't want it that much.

you also said


> i never had a problem using a condom during oral when someone asked me to.


So the girl just asked you? Did you ask why? Last time I was with a guy he didn't understand why I want to use a condom and wanted an explanation. What can I say without insulting him?


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

she didnt ask. she just pulled out a condom and placed it. i dont know what you can say so he doesnt get insulted. i always thought people were more understanding about safe sex these days. i didnt think that many people had problems using a condom. a few mins of pleasure isnt worth HIV or an STD


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## AdamCanada (Dec 6, 2003)

i wouldn't bother if i had to wear a condom, always do for sex tho.


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## nesteroff (Nov 14, 2003)

Just say it's something really important to you. If he asks why? "It's one of those things I just can't get past. I'm really paranoid about STDs. Sorry but this is just the way I feel." 

If he refuses, laugh and say, "well, I'm sorry but I just can't do it like that." 

You can say it in a really friendly way and still be assertive. 

If he's nice, you should be able to come to an understanding about these things. If he's not nice about it and demands that you do it without a rubber, I say he's not worth giving a bj to in the first place.


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## odun (Nov 9, 2003)

it's been years since ive been in school, i have to ask, do they teach this nonsense now in 'sex education'...to wear a condom during oral sex?

id hope not. schools need to get out of the moralizing business.


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

It's not a moral decision. It's a matter of of medical safety.


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## odun (Nov 9, 2003)

Amocholes said:


> It's not a moral decision. It's a matter of of medical safety.


okay.

i still find it silly and prudish.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

odun said:


> Amocholes said:
> 
> 
> > It's not a moral decision. It's a matter of of medical safety.
> ...


i have to agree. wearing a condom during oral? you have to be insane not to want an STD.


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## odun (Nov 9, 2003)

Gumaro said:


> odun said:
> 
> 
> > Amocholes said:
> ...


that sounds like propoganda from the moralists.

OMG ITLL KILL U!111

we should pass a law to stop this dangerous behavior.

im trying to look at the female perspective here. how pleasurable could it be to suck on rubber?

as for the male perspective, ive always thought oral sex was more than a little overrated to begin with. having a condom on would surely decrease the overall pleasure even further.


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## No1 (Oct 28, 2005)

Alright Guys, I know I'm about to be flamed right now, but I rather have the taste of rubber in mouth (they come in flavors anyway) than a guys natural taste. I don't like oral. I've only done it to make a guy happy. 

So, a guy is worried about my pleasure while wearing a condom. Why do I find that hard to believe. 

I wonder how many guys would wear condoms for intercourse if the was no possibility of pregnancy (like one of them was sterile or something).


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## Mehitabel (Oct 13, 2006)

When I first tried oral I tried it with a favoured condom, and hated it. I just hate condoms. They feel so... gross and plastic-y. And grape flavoured my butt! Of course my boyfriend and I discussed STDs (with much giggling, but hey), and we used condoms until I started the pill. Plus, now I love giving him oral. After lots of practice I'm apparently awesome at it.  

My two cents: If you don't know the person very well, or haven't discussed STDs yet, definitely go with a condom. After you know they're safe then it's just personal preference.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

odun said:


> as for the male perspective, ive always thought oral sex was more than a little overrated to begin with.


sounds like its time to find a new partner


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## cat burglar (Sep 2, 2006)

*Re: re: Talking Safe Sex With A Guy???*



No1 said:


> Alright Guys, I know I'm about to be flamed right now, but I rather have the taste of rubber in mouth (they come in flavors anyway) than a guys natural taste. I don't like oral. I've only done it to make a guy happy.


In that case he probably needed to wash himself. You should be concerned if he doesn't even make an effort to keep clean.

And guys should reciprocate. You could ask him to go down on you first.


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## odun (Nov 9, 2003)

Gumaro said:


> odun said:
> 
> 
> > as for the male perspective, ive always thought oral sex was more than a little overrated to begin with.
> ...


no.


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