# does SA prevent you from attending church?



## pm5kbebop (Oct 22, 2005)

I know S.A. prevents me from going to church...And not attending has hurt my faith in a major way.


----------



## moviefreak13 (Oct 22, 2005)

That is too bad. I am not a believer in God and therefore do not attend church, but I completely understand how important attending church is for a lot of people. I consider myself an extremely spiritual person and believe strongly that everyone should have a faith and believe in something. But yeah, social anxiety can screw that up quite a bit. I hope that one day you will be able to go to church. I have faith in you


----------



## brownkeys (Sep 19, 2005)

pm5kbebop said:


> I know S.A. prevents me from going to church...And not attending has hurt my faith in a major way.


Does it ever! It's like you are required to be social at church and I can't do that. It's sad but even after I got baptized every time I got home from church I would feel incredibly depressed and hate myself more for having SA. What's worst is that for some religions not going to church means that you will not be "saved". This used to cause me a lot of distress because my religion was like that so I thought I was doomed. Nevertheless, this has also caused me to question my own faith. I don't think I can ever participate in a church- I feel so awkward and out of place and I know I shouldn't feel that way but I can't help it.


----------



## Jessie Phillips (Oct 20, 2005)

Yes, social anxiety has prevented me from attending church on some occasions. Sometimes I get into a flap and think I'll be a minute or two late, or I think there's something not quite right with my appearance and I have to sort it out - like anyone at church cares .... but I still sometimes end up not going at all.

But at least I _sometimes_ manage to get to church. I feel for brownkeys who feels as though it's completely impossible. Can I ask: Are you in any kind of regular contact with a local church community at all?


----------



## brownkeys (Sep 19, 2005)

Jessie Phillips said:


> Yes, social anxiety has prevented me from attending church on some occasions. Sometimes I get into a flap and think I'll be a minute or two late, or I think there's something not quite right with my appearance and I have to sort it out - like anyone at church cares .... but I still sometimes end up not going at all.
> 
> But at least I _sometimes_ manage to get to church. I feel for brownkeys who feels as though it's completely impossible. Can I ask: Are you in any kind of regular contact with a local church community at all?


I use to be, but now that I am in school there are no churches around with my religion. It wouldn't be a problem if I just went to church on Sundays because then I could just go to one of the many sunday services on campus. But I go to church on Saturdays and there are no services then.

But even when I was in contact with a church I didn't feel like I belonged there. Even when I became a member, none of the other kids EVER talked to me, and I sure wasn't going to approach them with my SA. On the occasion that I did try to initiate conversation if someone were sitting next to me, I got looked at as if I had two heads. I felt extremely alone and unwanted there that I couldn't bare to go back. Everyone had their own cliques and it didn't seem like they were willing to let anyone in anytime soon. These kids have known each other their entire lives and I was just a newbie.

I know this isn't a reason to not go to church, but maybe my faith isn't strong enough to fight the feeling of neglect that I feel when going to church. I tried for a while, I really did. But the more I went, the more I hated myself for having SA and not being able to be a part of that community.


----------



## joey67 (Oct 31, 2005)

Definatly!
I pushed myself for a long time, but since I've stopped, I've had a hard time getting myself to go again. 
I've become more spiritual now. I meditate and pray in privacy now and feel much more comfortable with that.
Joe


----------



## Shytears (Oct 4, 2004)

pm5kbebop said:


> I know S.A. prevents me from going to church...And not attending has hurt my faith in a major way.


thats exactly what happened to me. i haven't been since i was 16 because S.A. got in the way. :afr


----------



## stillwaters (Feb 21, 2005)

It is really Hard, suffering from SA to attend church,
I have been litterally forcing myself to go each Sunday, 
I have some good days, and some bad days..
but I have found that in the long run, it has helped tremendously
in my SA issues.. 
and I reall do enjoy the worshiping and singing, even though I dont dare sing out to loud

and after going to a small group now for a couple months, I
am amazed how I have run into others who suffer the same anxiety...

there is alot of us out their, who have put Faith in GOd, to
help us through each day....

just my thoughts
debs


----------



## snoogle_bear (Sep 15, 2004)

Yes, my anxiety prevents me from going to church. It's not really the normal socializing that gets me but its when people expect you to share your feelings and beliefs and stuff about God that gets me. My anxiety gets sky high when I have to share really personal stuff. I was at this church fellowship once and people were taking turns saying prayers out loud and I felt like dying when it was my turn.


----------



## firedancer (Nov 14, 2003)

Yes. It has effected my attendance (and therefore affected my husbands also). Lately my BPII, SA and depression have caused me to become a recluse. I have immersed myself in Christian music and cry like a baby but can't make myself go to church. And forget bible study (that at one time I absolutely loved) because they changed the format and they get into prayer circles of 4-5 people afterwards and I cannot pray in front of anyone (even my husband). Sometimes I feel like a failure and a fake. And the guilt is killing me.


----------



## Tangle (Nov 9, 2005)

I agree with all you guys - Church is sooooooo hard! And to make matters worse, Christians, at least, seem to have this idea that it's no good if a million people don't show up!

For example, I attended this young adults Bible study group for awhile, and whenever less than 15 people showed up, I would be jumping up and down inside, but among the group a great amount of time would be spent talking about "where everyone is."



> And forget bible study (that at one time I absolutely loved) because they changed the format and they get into prayer circles of 4-5 people afterwards


Firedancer, I feel your pain. It's one thing to have a group of people that you gradually get to know and trust and then _maybe_ can open up with. But to be randomly thrown in with people and have to pray is cruel and unusual to those of us with SA. And then when you can't make yourself pray, you just feel like a total loser for not being able to overcome your fear, and then you think everyone else must think that you're either a loser or don't love God enough to pray... It's just hard. :hide


----------



## Amelia (Nov 24, 2003)

firedancer said:


> ...I cannot pray in front of anyone ... Sometimes I feel like a failure and a fake. And the guilt is killing me.


I don't think that you should feel like a fake or feel guilty about this, firedancer, or let other people make you feel guilty/fake. :squeeze

I had similar feelings when I attended a bible class at college (when my SA didn't really get in the way). Perhaps it depends on your religious background. I am not from an evangelical background so felt extremely uncomfortable being expected to verbalize my feelings/prayers. If I tried praying out loud, I felt that the prayer sounded fake, but I also felt like a fake for finding it difficult to do.



> does SA prevent you from attending church?


Yes. The main SA-related things that prevent me from going to church are:
(1) The prospect of having to stand up and introduce myself! :afr (I've been to a few places where this was _compulsory_, as in "you're a stranger here: explain yourself!")
(2) Having to socialize afterwards for coffee, etc.
(3) Having members of the congregation interfere in my life (this has happened to a friend of mine, whose church seems to have taken over her life).


----------



## Caedmon (Dec 14, 2003)

You might say that, yes.


----------



## sprinter (Nov 22, 2003)

I don't really get where this christian prayer circle type thing is coming from. Seems more like private prayer is what is emphasized in the NT...



> Mat 6:5 And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, They have their reward.
> Mat 6:6 But you, when you pray, enter into your room. And shutting your door, pray to your Father in secret; and your Father who sees in secret shall reward you openly.


Of course this is just one scripture I haven't really studied the issue. This reminds me though of the time I attended a couple WWCOG meetings in the early 90s. Boy did I feel like an outsider, they really didn't seem to know what to do with someone new. I had trouble even finding a place to sit down, there weren't even any extra chairs for somebody new. And then after the service everybody automatically got into their little cliques for "fellowship" . I just ended up walking out. And this was a group that a lot of other christians considered cultish. Well I think maybe some christian churches could maybe learn some things from some cults about making newcomers feel welcomed. :lol

Now the Catholic service is quite different. You just go sit down, there's usually lots of empty seating available. Kneel, sit, stand,sing along if you want, blah blah the priest says this and that. You have the sign of peace thing, shake peoples hand and say "peace be with you" :lol if you want. Then you can go up for communion or not. Then when it's over most just leave right away and go home and stuff themselves with Sunday dinner. :banana

Well that's my experience with church. I don't attend any church now. I wouldn't rule it out if I can find a good one that didn't unnecessarily antagonize my SA if it is still an issue at the time.


----------



## Wrennie (Sep 12, 2005)

I used to enjoy going to church when I was married. Now I feel too self conscious to go alone - like people are looking at me and judging me. I don't go. I think about it but I can't make myself go alone.


----------



## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

My anxiety is at it's worst at church. I'm fine before the service but as the music for gathering starts playing, I can feel the anxiety set in. Several times I have had to get up and leave. I suspect it is the organ that triggers it. Organ music has so many harmonics and overtones in it. I have not been to church in about 2 months because of this. I like the people and we have an excellent pastor. I sang in the choir and played with the band. I was very active. After these panic attacks, I have felt drained and slipped into depression. My faith is still as strong as it has ever been but it is difficult to go somewhere that I know will have this effect.


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I definitely have trouble going to church - especially after having such a bad experience as I had in 2004. I was fortunate enough to find a church that was caring, and I even told them about my SA, but the problem was that there was nobody my age there.

I tried to go to another church, but I end up going in late and leaving early so I won't have to talk to people. It's like I have faith, just not in other people.


----------



## Thumbelina (Sep 5, 2005)

I don't go to church often because I just can't be bothered, not because of my SA. Although when I do go I really hate the part where you're supposed to shake everyone's hand and say "Peace".


----------



## brokenlight (Mar 10, 2004)

I get nervous at church too. Sometimes I don't go, or end up leaving early. A couple of weeks ago the usher asked me to bring the gifts up during mass. I declined, but still felt shaky for a while afterwards. Just the thought of it was making me panic.


----------



## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

I'm planning on going to church this morning. I guess I'll see how it goes.


----------



## sslhea (Sep 30, 2005)

...


----------



## Eura (Oct 29, 2005)

snoogle_bear said:


> It's not really the normal socializing that gets me but its when people expect you to share your feelings and beliefs and stuff about God that gets me. My anxiety gets sky high when I have to share really personal stuff.quote]
> 
> Trying to explain what God does for you, expecially when yer not very articulate, can be so embarrassing. It's hard to just say, "he's so amazing," because its feels so like what everyone else has said. I also cannot pray in front of people. The few times I have tried, I got stuck in awkward silences and someone else had to finish for me.


----------



## Mystic Pencil (Mar 6, 2006)

pm5kbebop said:


> I know S.A. prevents me from going to church...And not attending has hurt my faith in a major way.


Hi Sweetie=)*hugs U*
It prevents me from going to church too. 
Gods love is always with you. He gave us SA so we know ourselves better than those that inflict pain onto others. And to test our faith too.
He knows why you don't go.
You should pray anyway.

My mom is in a wheelchair. She can't go to church and she prays only sometimes but never loses her faith.
That's something you've gotta keep.
So don't lose that okay.
When you get up the strength then go. 
The Lord is very understanding.
Chances are if things going bad it's the other guy doing it.
Hint: ----->:evil 
But you're not going to church isn't evil if your Agoraphobic or not. Losing your faith....ummmmm :um 
Get it.=)

hope I helped

Luv
Mystic
:door


----------



## daphne (Dec 4, 2004)

Not going to church, but going to other functions like Bible studies or banquets or anything else where I might be expected to hold a conversation.


----------



## Buerhle (Mar 6, 2006)

yes


----------



## On the way (Feb 9, 2006)

I haven't been to church (except last Christmas) for several years, and before that it had been over a decade. I just don't get much out of it, and the idea of being in a crowd of people is unsettling. 

I've been trying to get motivated enough to start attending church, but I haven't been able to. I feel a little guilty about it, especially when (like last night) I hear a preacher say that not going to church is a mortal sin. But I feel like I'm making a lot of progress spiritually, using private reading, EWTN, and other avenues. If my spirituality is moving along well, do I really need to go to church? I suppose I should, but I just haven't been able to get over the hump yet.


----------



## purplecow1057 (Mar 11, 2006)

yes - ive wanted to go to my equivalent of church but havent in a while -i know the actual service will be good for me, but i know that afterwards people will want to talk to me - ill have to socialize - i cant just leave...


----------



## GraceLikeRain (Nov 9, 2003)

I miss my "home" church back in Wisconsin a lot right now, even though I stopped attending for the most part after high school. I was thinking of calling a local church that is the same synod and asking if anyone can give me a ride to Sunday services. I have been thinking about calling for months now :lol I have even had people who I chat with offer to call for me...but that would obviously look a little odd. I do not know when or if I will be able to make the phone call and start attending a church where I do not know anyone.


----------



## Caedmon (Dec 14, 2003)

Ah, church. I miss it. I'm still not going though. I haven't gone in about a year and I always feel like an outsider when I do.


----------



## Anxiety75 (Feb 10, 2004)

I'm working on getting back on a regular basis. Sometimes it's not easy but it doesn't terrify me. If I don't go at all, I feel worse off.


----------



## Warpedsanity (Sep 12, 2011)

I was going to one pretty steady for a few years trying to hide my anxiety, got so bad I had to stop..the depression/anxiety got too bad. Now I'm currently not going just watching the webcast. Its a shame too my pastor is a nice guy and understands.


----------



## ingenious53 (May 27, 2011)

I feel too nervous to go to Sunday school and church service feels like a waste of time.


----------



## kct29 (May 22, 2012)

I have struggled with this as well. I felt guilty about it for a long time, but I have become more at peace with it because I have realized that "church" is not somewhere I go, but rather it is in my heart.  I communicate with and better understand God when I am alone, at home, writing or silently praying--everyone is different, but we live in a world of extroverted people who are fond of condemning others whom they don't understand. I do believe that attending church is important, and I hope I will get to the point to where I can attend, but at the end of the day I know that I love the Lord and that He loves me...


----------



## Aries33 (Sep 22, 2011)

i use to feel that way in 2009 when i just came out of hospital and was dealing with social anxiety at the most hardest time in my life, i didn't want to go to church but i forced myself to go because it would be good for me to realize it wasn't the actual people i was afraid of but just a thought inside my head, i never put it down to something like the evil one is trying to stop me or something along those lines but to invest in overcoming this social anxiety with god help going to god house, today i don't worry about anybody in the church though i still feel anxious about attending i still attend because really when you think about it , there just thoughts, action will always speak louder then words and after i go i always feel so good about myself, you should go if your not the anxiety will calm down


----------



## erasercrumbs (Dec 17, 2009)

Yes, it prevents me from going to church. Not only that, but SA and the psychological side effects that go along with it often have a diminishing effect on my faith in God in general. It's baffling as to why any divine being would create so purposeless an animal as me.


----------



## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

I always feel so conflicted about church. I feel like I should go, but at the same time, I can't bring myself to do it unless someone goes with me. I usually have to work too, but if I really wanted, I know I could find a way to make it work. I hate the social aspect of it, and how they always make you greet and interact for a moment. I'm so awkward with that, and then people think I'm rude. I don't get into the whole worship thing either. I do like the teachings, but then I'm also conflicted with the person's particular version of scripture...


----------



## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

Actually, yes. I would never admit to being religious, but going to church is hard while having sa. Going alone, I wouldn't want to be that person who sits in the way way back with no one there, just sitting alone in a pew, but at the same time I don't want to sit next to people while alone. I don't know whether to look straight ahead or to look down or look at the ceiling or look at people's butts, it gets weird, so I rarely go. :/


----------



## chantellabella (May 5, 2012)

I found that when I went to church, I only felt bad. The sermons and activities seemed to focus on families and friends. I offered to volunteer on two occasions and was never called. I do have grown children, but we never went to church as a family and so when I saw all these families I just felt so lonely.

Once I joined a group, but I just couldn't handle the stress of going there and having to talk, so I dropped out. 

Now I just don't bother to go anymore. I don't feel like a belong to any church group.


----------



## lovecookies (Aug 11, 2011)

Nope. In our churches you've got so many people standing next to each other, like sardines, you can barely breathe, let alone think about SA.


----------



## Camelleone (Feb 3, 2011)

yes, but I still go, alone, and hope for miracle, I skip sometimes but at home I would felt so depressed and guilty for thinking that my sa is winning over God, 
and I always want to join the group there but every time I see them I'm too scared and felt low self esteem.


----------



## SunflowerSutra (Apr 14, 2012)

Yes, it makes it very difficult for me. I'll go with my dad because I would feel bad if I didn't but when it's just me, it's really hard to force myself. It would be easier for me to go if they didn't always have a part where you are supposed to greet one another.


----------



## Cipher (Nov 12, 2011)

I watch church services online because I have a lot of anxiety associated with going to church. My sister attends a mega-church and it's extremely crowded which makes me uncomfortable. Also, she hangs out with her friends from church and I feel like a fifth wheel. I'm too anxious to go to another church on my own though.


----------



## Northwing (May 28, 2012)

joey67 said:


> Definatly!
> I pushed myself for a long time, but since I've stopped, I've had a hard time getting myself to go again.
> I've become more spiritual now. I meditate and pray in privacy now and feel much more comfortable with that.
> Joe


Yes, I do believe concentrating on the actual relationship overall has the most meaning...and not whether or not others judge you at what part of your faith you are, or why you feel uncomfortable, or so forth.

I find the more I am around those who push faith onto me, the less likely I will do it. Obviously SA reasons for that, but it also feels like they are judging


----------



## hammerfast (Mar 8, 2012)

They bulldozed the only church we had in the town


----------



## chantellabella (May 5, 2012)

hammerfast said:


> They bulldozed the only church we had in the town


That's terrible. Do people meet in homes now or still gather somewhere else for fellowship?


----------



## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

Mystic Pencil said:


> Hi Sweetie=)*hugs U*
> It prevents me from going to church too.
> Gods love is always with you. He gave us SA so we know ourselves better than those that inflict pain onto others. And to test our faith too.
> He knows why you don't go.
> ...


----------



## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

I go to church my aunt's church, well I havent been going lately bc ,to attend, I have to go to her house a day early dince she lives so far away anf I have to spend the night. Thats not a problem, the problem is my cousin's cousins, and their friends are usu their spending the night as well, and Id feel so akward and out of place there bc I probably be alone, my cousins and I arent really close so Id probably be twiddling my thumbs while everyone else is jist chatting away. I love my aunt, and really would love to go to her church, but I just cant be around all those teens, I always do better w adults than my own peers, I have to find another church,one thats closer. I also find it hard to worship and praise God, bc Im not comfortable singing, even when I am alone, I feel like a mess as a christian and a person in general *sigh


----------



## Warpedsanity (Sep 12, 2011)

This will be my 5th week of not attending, feels easier watching the live service at home. But of course you have a lot of members trying to get me to come back basically which puts a lot of pressure on you.


----------



## telepathic (Nov 12, 2011)

No, SA doesn't prevent me from going to church but it used to prevent me from expressing myself when in the presence of others (within church). When the pastor/priest tells the congregation to rise, I still get a bit self-conscious thinking that people are looking at the way I stand.


----------



## Fixfounded1994 (Feb 19, 2012)

Camelleone said:


> yes, but I still go, alone, and hope for miracle, I skip sometimes but at home I would felt so depressed and guilty for thinking that my sa is winning over God,
> and I always want to join the group there but every time I see them I'm too scared and felt low self esteem.


I'm having that same problem too...now that I think about it:|


----------



## ijustwanttobemute (Jun 2, 2012)

Wow. It is really nice to finally meet people who know where I'm coming from. I thought I was the only person that had this issue. It took me months to attend this church that I had been researching. The only thing about it is that they are way too touchy feely there. It takes me forever to come back. There are always months in between my visits because I'm scared.


----------

