# My friend left me on my birthday to hang out with my cousin?



## Butterflyluv (Feb 12, 2013)

I'm so pissed right now so I'm ranting to calm down. It's my birthday and I was hanging out with my friend. I asked her before hand if she was free and she said yes. So we go to the movies and we arrive late because of traffic. We missed a good portion of the movie and I ask if she wants to see a later time and she tells me she can't because she's hanging out with my cousin later on. Tell me if I'm being irrational but I get upset because she told me she told my cousin she will hang out with them in one hour. I don't understand how that would have worked out since we were going to the movies and we chose a movie an hour before it was time for them to hang out. 

I wished my friend would have told me that because now I feel like her real priority is to hang out with my cousin(who she has a crush on). If she would have told me she had planned on doing that then I would have chosen a different date or invited my cousin. When I told her that she called my cousin to hang out with us. My cousin didn't want to go all the out where we were so we traveled to a mutual spot to see the movie. I'm not mad at my cousin(my cousin didn't know) but I wanted an all girls hang out. I feel like my friend just jumps when he says jump and she changes when he's around. If he said jump she would ask how high. Its irritating because she puts her crush on him before our friendship. I feel like at times she is using me because how she would say lets hang out. She comes over my house and then randomly tells me she's coming back and I find out later from my cousin she went to hang out with him(and she lies to parents and uses me as an alibi without my knowledge to do it sometimes) and then he asks me why didn't I come. At times she just says I'll be back and wont even tell me and sometimes she will tell me? Am I suppose to take that as an invite or something because I feel excluded like she doesn't want me to go( or am I being overly sensitive). Should I say can I tag along or something? Because he told me when she hang outs with him, he asks where I'm at and she's says "she didn't want to go out".

Any advice? Has anyone been through this type of situation and tell me if I'm being irrational and I'm wrong. I can take criticism. 

By the way, I'm sorry that's its so long. I would love if anyone would at least skim through this and give me some advice.


----------



## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

Happy Birthday! :clap

My guess is your friend values her love life more than her friendship, which kinda sucks. She couldn't even have given you at least one night, for your birthday.

I just went through something similar for my bday. Except my friends didn't even bother to come out at all, and in fact opt to hang out with several other of our mutual friends, without even telling me. It's like they were planning behind my back as a group of avoid and snubbed me intentionally on my birthday. 

At least I have other friends who were understanding and good to me, so I just try to focus on the good people and not the bad.


----------



## Butterflyluv (Feb 12, 2013)

Blue Dino said:


> Happy Birthday! :clap
> 
> My guess is your friend values her love life more than her friendship, which kinda sucks. She couldn't even have given you at least one night, for your birthday.
> 
> ...


yes! thats how I felt like she planned it behind my back. I just wish she would have been honest and said she couldnt do it or tell me she had plans at a certain time. I would have understood completely. I don't like lack of communication, it just seemed sneaky. I appreciate honesty so I was upset. I'm sorry that happened to you on your birthday but I'm glad your other friends made it up for you.


----------



## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Im sorry for your loss. That sucks!


----------



## Butterflyluv (Feb 12, 2013)

Imbored21 said:


> Im sorry for your loss. That sucks!


Wait do you mean like me losing my friendship with the person


----------



## chilip (Jan 6, 2015)

I'm sorry that happened to you, but happy belated birthday. It sounds like your friend doesn't really care about you all that much. You deserve a better friend than that.


----------



## Butterflyluv (Feb 12, 2013)

chilip said:


> I'm sorry that happened to you, but happy belated birthday. It sounds like your friend doesn't really care about you all that much. You deserve a better friend than that.


What should I do? I feel like I'm bad at stuff like this. I will literally find something out about a person and not say anything...


----------



## Nothing123 (Oct 3, 2014)

I had a best friend once who used to invite her boyfriend over (which is fine sometimes, you know) when i was there and they'd dissapear and have sex in the other room and leave me alone for a few hrs...

The other times she'd invite me over... only to find out when my mum dropped me of she wasnt even there so i'd end up waiting and waiting till like 12pm. Alot of the times shes didnt even come home?? Im so glad i dumped that b.itch


----------



## jklol (Jan 19, 2015)

Yeah she doesnt sound like a very good friend to me. Real friends arent supposed to ditch someone for another person just because they have a crush on them. Im not sure what i would do in a situation like that though. Maybe spend less time hanging out with her, kind of wean yourself off until you dont need her and then you can find new friends


----------



## Butterflyluv (Feb 12, 2013)

Bunnymoo7 said:


> I had a best friend once who used to invite her boyfriend over (which is fine sometimes, you know) when i was there and they'd dissapear and have sex in the other room and leave me alone for a few hrs...
> 
> The other times she'd invite me over... only to find out when my mum dropped me of she wasnt even there so i'd end up waiting and waiting till like 12pm. Alot of the times shes didnt even come home?? Im so glad i dumped that b.itch


Wait so you guys lived together and she invited her boyfriend over or she would go over your house and then invite her boyfriend over to have sex in your home? Either way its both awful. I mean who does stuff like that? I don't get people like that at all....

And then she would invite you over her house and not even be there,where would she be? Why invite you over? I'm sorry but that made me upset. I'm glad you dropped her too. I mean the nerve of some people.


----------



## Nothing123 (Oct 3, 2014)

Butterflyluv said:


> Wait so you guys lived together and she invited her boyfriend over or she would go over your house and then invite her boyfriend over to have sex in your home? Either way its both awful. I mean who does stuff like that? I don't get people like that at all....
> 
> And then she would invite you over her house and not even be there,where would she be? Why invite you over? I'm sorry but that made me upset. I'm glad you dropped her too. I mean the nerve of some people.


Nah i used to go to her place. ( i was only like 16 btw and very weak and naive and.. just plain pathetic honestly.. i wouldnt effing put up with that s.hit now!)

But yes i agree. Im glad i've learnt to only stay friends with ppl who atually want me around.

She used to do all sorts of stuff to humiliate me and put me down. Like she'd introduce me to her friends at a party and be like 
"hey guys.. so this is my friend mel... (pause) shes a christian"

-cue laughter-

F.ucking hilarious, right?

Cos she knew it'd put me down and keep her as the top person and me as her sidekick... it makes me so f.ucking mad cos she did this to me time and time again :/


----------



## Butterflyluv (Feb 12, 2013)

Bunnymoo7 said:


> Nah i used to go to her place. ( i was only like 16 btw and very weak and naive and.. just plain pathetic honestly.. i wouldnt effing put up with that s.hit now!)
> 
> But yes i agree. Im glad i've learnt to only stay friends with ppl who atually want me around.
> 
> ...


Wow that is crazy. I have never experience that but I know what you mean about the the putting you down part. One of friends use to introduce me and say "she's a virgin." That use to make me so upset because it was no ones business and embarrassing and I told her that a long time ago in confidentiality. Then I had another friend who use to tell guys I was a lesbian if they tried to talk to me so they would stop talking to me and talk to her. My friend was jealous of me( I don't understand why because I'm not pretty and my personality is not all that great while she was beautiful and the funniest person in school) but yeah it was a way for her shine and have more power because she felt crappy about herself for some reason. I think your friend was jealous of you.


----------



## Butterflyluv (Feb 12, 2013)

Butterflyluv said:


> Wow that is crazy. I have never experience that but I know what you mean about the the putting you down part. One of friends use to introduce me and say "she's a virgin." That use to make me so upset because it was no ones business and embarrassing and I told her that a long time ago in confidentiality. Then I had another friend who use to tell guys I was a lesbian if they tried to talk to me so they would stop talking to me and talk to her. My friend was jealous of me( I don't understand why because I'm not pretty and my personality is not all that great while she was beautiful and the funniest person in school) but yeah it was a way for her shine and have more power because she felt crappy about herself for some reason. I think your friend was jealous of you.


Also what is so funny about being a christian? I don't get it. I would have been like cool( I think its cool when people are just genuine and themselves)


----------



## Nothing123 (Oct 3, 2014)

Butterflyluv said:


> Wow that is crazy. I have never experience that but I know what you mean about the the putting you down part. One of friends use to introduce me and say "she's a virgin." That use to make me so upset because it was no ones business and embarrassing and I told her that a long time ago in confidentiality. Then I had another friend who use to tell guys I was a lesbian if they tried to talk to me so they would stop talking to me and talk to her. My friend was jealous of me( I don't understand why because I'm not pretty and my personality is not all that great while she was beautiful and the funniest person in school) but yeah it was a way for her shine and have more power because she felt crappy about herself for some reason. I think your friend was jealous of you.


Man that sucks... im so sorry to hear u went thru something similar... what a total b.itch.. why is it that nice ppl like us (and some of my other sas friends btw if ur reading this) get treated so s.hit?? i dnt get it


----------



## Butterflyluv (Feb 12, 2013)

Bunnymoo7 said:


> Man that sucks... im so sorry to hear u went thru something similar... what a total b.itch.. why is it that nice ppl like us (and some of my other sas friends btw if ur reading this) get treated so s.hit?? i dnt get it


I have been asking myself that all my life. I guess see us as being vulnerable or maybe they just don't understand how we're still so nice in a harsh world so they want to steal some of that light because misery loves company. I'm guessing though. In my opinion I've always wanted to treat people nice because I don't even want to make people feel how I truly feel inside. And then some people are just nasty just to be nasty. I'm still very nice but once you try something I shut it down really quick which makes people super surprise because they thought I was nice(why does that give you the right to treat me awful though). Like I'm nice but I'm not going to allow you to run all over me either. nice=weak to some people I guess....


----------



## Nothing123 (Oct 3, 2014)

Butterflyluv said:


> I have been asking myself that all my life. I guess see us as being vulnerable or maybe they just don't understand how we're still so nice in a harsh world so they want to steal some of that light because misery loves company. I'm guessing though. In my opinion I've always wanted to treat people nice because I don't even want to make people feel how I truly feel inside. And then some people are just nasty just to be nasty. I'm still very nice but once you try something I shut it down really quick which makes people super surprise because they thought I was nice(why does that give you the right to treat me awful though). Like I'm nice but I'm not going to allow you to run all over me either. nice=weak to some people I guess....


Yeah man i agree. I DO and WILL snap if you f.ucking push me too far.
Otherwise, im nice and i give ppl the time of day. I warn ppl not to push me, but... somehow they always do. F.uckers.


----------



## Nothing123 (Oct 3, 2014)

I have quite the dark side that harbors alot of hate and anger.. no one ever suspects it hahaha


----------



## Butterflyluv (Feb 12, 2013)

Bunnymoo7 said:


> I have quite the dark side that harbors alot of hate and anger.. no one ever suspects it hahaha


Yeah, I understand. I rarely get mad but if I get angry its pent up frustration of someone picking at me. When I get mad I explode and its horrible then people are super surprise and scared of me and I never wanted it to go that far. I use to harbor dark thoughts in high school because I was bullied so bad but I think people suspected that because of the certain things they would say.


----------



## Nothing123 (Oct 3, 2014)

Butterflyluv said:


> Yeah, I understand. I rarely get mad but if I get angry its pent up frustration of someone picking at me. When I get mad I explode and its horrible then people are super surprise and scared of me and I never wanted it to go that far. I use to harbor dark thoughts in high school because I was bullied so bad but I think people suspected that because of the certain things they would say.


Oh yeah ive gotten physically aggressive once or twice... xD
And as for ppl picking on me and being rude, for no reason at all, i just had someone be rude and condescending on my wall. I've sorted it out now. I dont take s.hit from no one.


----------



## Butterflyluv (Feb 12, 2013)

jklol said:


> Yeah she doesnt sound like a very good friend to me. Real friends arent supposed to ditch someone for another person just because they have a crush on them. Im not sure what i would do in a situation like that though. Maybe spend less time hanging out with her, kind of wean yourself off until you dont need her and then you can find new friends


yeah, i wouldnt do that to her


----------



## Mayleen (Jan 19, 2015)

Were you guys friends before she had a crush on your cousin? She could have potentially tried to become friend with you so that she could have chances with him.

But yeah, your friend sucks, out of all the days she chose to hang out with you cousin, she chose YOUR Birthday.

i don't really know what advice I could give you, but maybe talk about it with your cousin? Maybe your friend is being blindly in love.


----------



## jklol (Jan 19, 2015)

Butterflyluv said:


> yeah, i wouldnt do that to her


Just my idea lol. I'm not the greatest at these things.


----------



## Butterflyluv (Feb 12, 2013)

Mayleen said:


> Were you guys friends before she had a crush on your cousin? She could have potentially tried to become friend with you so that she could have chances with him.
> 
> But yeah, your friend sucks, out of all the days she chose to hang out with you cousin, she chose YOUR Birthday.
> 
> i don't really know what advice I could give you, but maybe talk about it with your cousin? Maybe your friend is being blindly in love.


yeah,she knew me way before she knew him. Yeah , they do hang out a lot but I'm pretty sure she could have at least save this day for me.


----------



## relsom (Sep 23, 2014)

hook your cousin up with another girl then make him say he thinks your friend is an ugly and annoying *****.


----------

