# Family Gatherings



## jjjjjjj (Mar 15, 2015)

I have always had a serious hatred towards family gatherings, and I strive to avoid them as much as possible. I am the only member of my family who is unable to communicate with anybody. Knowing my luck, every gathering seems to consist of 20+ people - cousins, aunties, uncles etc. I feel comfortable with my friends (when they aren't telling me that I never speak), but I have never been able to feel that way around my family.

I sit/stand alone at each gathering, attempting to stop myself from crying at how much I loathe myself. Nobody talks to me as I do not talk to them. It's a never ending problem. I am the only person who is alone, and I listen to conversations but never say a word. When somebody does talk to me, however, I blush bright red and feel my face heat up drastically. Also, to make things even worse, my voice is so quiet that nobody can hear me despite leaning in so close to my face.

Does anyone else try to avoid family gatherings because they end up standing alone in silence?


----------



## Robleye (Sep 26, 2012)

Family gatherings... ohhh boy. Yeah those are the worst, especially when you pretty much have to talk or you're seen as being rude.


----------



## jjjjjjj (Mar 15, 2015)

I know, my parents are forever complaining that I don't talk to people and that they're embarrassed of me. It is humiliating. They also insist on staying late because they enjoy talking to everybody. I just wish there was someone I could stay with the whole time, I try to follow my parents but they always wander off to other people...


----------



## NightOwl94 (Mar 13, 2015)

I always avoid them. Well now we barely even have any gatherings cuz everyones so distant from eachother. But whenever there is any its mostly like birthdays or any holiday that would give a reason to get drunk. And everytime i avoid them and pretend to be asleep or anything just so i wouldn't have to witness my fathers anger and hatred when hes drunk. I have some awesome cousins and sometimes i wish i could talk to them but i just can't.


----------



## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

They're the worst. My family just makes me uncomfortable.


----------



## jjjjjjj (Mar 15, 2015)

My family aren't distant at all, everyone is always meeting up with one another. I feel trapped as everybody circulates the room(s) and I remain alone in the same place. I have no way of avoiding it as the gatherings never take place in my own home - they're always located in someone's living room or occasionally outside where even more people meet up for a barbecue (those are the worst as I am forced to eat in front of them). I always refuse food and drink, and my parents cavil at me for being rude. I have no idea what to do in order to make myself less discourteous.


----------



## iCod (Feb 17, 2015)

What I do is hide away in the backyard, upstairs or bathroom whenever these happen. Avoid avoid avoid, at all costs.


----------



## SuperSaiyanGod (Jan 21, 2014)

My family is pretty disconnected (on both sides). Family gatherings are not a concern for me.


----------



## TillyTreu (Jan 28, 2013)

I struggle constantly with the idea that because I was placed into a specific gene pool I must interact and be loving towards all people also placed in it. Do we really HAVE to be friends and have relationships with DNA-bonded people? I don't think so. It's not good to completely self-isolate and have no one obviously because some interaction with people is good. After years of constantly being belittled and criticized by my family whenever I did talk at functions I became immune. Now I just pick and choose what I want to attend and what I don't, and I sure don't justify or explain myself to any of them. Life to too short to spend a huge percentage of my waking hours in 1 day at some function I don't want or need to be at.


----------



## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

I have a huge extended family as well, with my mother having 14 siblings. But aside from a few closer cousins and one of my 2 aunts, I rarely see the others as they are all always busy or have some sort of excuse to not come whenever there is a rare gathering planned. So I guess I kinda luck out in this department. 

But yes, big family gathering can always be stressful. Not to say for just humans, even for pets.


----------



## Worthless1 (Mar 20, 2015)

I live thousands of miles from my family, and that's fine with me. We don't even communicate via phone or email, because I'm not good enough for them. Whatever. I remember when I was a kid and was forced to go to family reunions, and I absolutely hated it. This sounds morbid and horrible but I'm dreading the day one of my parents dies because I'm the only child and I'll be expected to go back there and deal with things.


----------



## BIB64 (Mar 29, 2015)

I grew up in a dysfunctional family. Family gathering..smh..hate to even think about them. I move 1700 miles to get away from my home town just so I'd have an excuse not to have to go to them..well..I got remarried too. That's my other excuse.


----------



## Conviction07 (Aug 23, 2013)

God damn, this thread is reminding me that Easter is coming up and I'll have to seem them all. ****.


----------



## GGTFM (Oct 7, 2014)

Luckily for me, this is some thing I don't have to worry about anymore.


----------



## Seegan (Mar 24, 2015)

iCod said:


> What I do is hide away in the backyard, upstairs or bathroom whenever these happen. Avoid avoid avoid, at all costs.


Me too.


----------



## Unknown0001 (Aug 2, 2013)

What I hate about my culture is having a huge extended family and family being everything. Every week theres a gathering ...minimum . Sometimes I'm forced to go. I'm trying to control my anxiety while they think I'm rude because I don't talk. I'm sick of these gatherings. Can't wait til I move someday.. if that happens.


----------



## distantrose (Mar 28, 2015)

When I was younger, I used to love family gatherings. That was because my family used to be so much closer than we are now. Ever since I've moved away from them, family gatherings haven't been the same. It's always awkward depending on who I am around. I only really see both sides of my family once a year. They hardly ever keep in touch with me or my parents anyway. They seem to leave us out a lot. Then whenever we're around they always want to act like we're so close. It's bs. So yeah, sometimes I try my hardest to avoid family gatherings. Of course it's almost always up to my parents because they are the ones that do all the driving.


----------



## Mxx1 (Feb 3, 2015)

Hate it, everyone are so much older than me and doesn't even bother talking to me. At my aunts birthday i even brought a pc and was on that the whole time, i got so much comments of being rude afterwards, well i guess i can understand that. 
I liked family gatherings before though :/


----------



## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

i just remembered when my grandpa died. My family was all at the hospital watching him die at his hospital bed. I didn't even care that he was dying. All I could think about was how uncomfortable family gatherings were. I left early, because I couldn't take the anxiety. They thought I left cause I didn't want to watch him die lol. 

Then at his funeral the same thing. I looked sad and distant from everyone. People thought I took his death harshly. The truth is, I didn't care that much. I wasn't close to him and he always made me really uncomfortable. I looked sad because my anxiety was raping me from being around so much family.


----------



## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

It never matters who I spend my time with because I'm always the person sitting there listening to other people's conversation though I don't mind since they love to gossip and they have no idea that I know the person they're gossiping about. So I sit there, drink my wine, and think how bitter these gossipy people are.


----------



## psychowizard (Feb 4, 2014)

jjjjjjj said:


> I have always had a serious hatred towards family gatherings, and I strive to avoid them as much as possible. I am the only member of my family who is unable to communicate with anybody. Knowing my luck, every gathering seems to consist of 20+ people - cousins, aunties, uncles etc. I feel comfortable with my friends (when they aren't telling me that I never speak), but I have never been able to feel that way around my family.
> 
> I sit/stand alone at each gathering, attempting to stop myself from crying at how much I loathe myself. Nobody talks to me as I do not talk to them. It's a never ending problem. I am the only person who is alone, and I listen to conversations but never say a word. When somebody does talk to me, however, I blush bright red and feel my face heat up drastically. Also, to make things even worse, my voice is so quiet that nobody can hear me despite leaning in so close to my face.
> 
> Does anyone else try to avoid family gatherings because they end up standing alone in silence?


Haha I can totally relate to this the only thing you can do is find some kind of stimulating substance you can use to get yourself talking. I like to drink Kava Kava or Sceletium Tortuosum (these are not alcoholic beverages but herbal substances to make you feel more alive and social) - they will help you a lot in party time environments


----------

