# Stealing boyfriends/girlfriends/wives/husbands



## PLarry (Apr 2, 2011)

Is it inappropriate to hit on someone's girlfriend/boyfriend? Wife/Husband?

Should they choose they like you more than their soon to be ex then technically its not stealing because a person is not someone's property and so they can make their own choices. 

But it is also true that your intentions aren't exactly pure because you being a human know that if you flirt with someone, especially if you want them, then you know that there is the potential for you to get them and thus cause pain on the aforementioned ex. Making you a d-bag.

So what do you think?

Comments, opinions, personal experiences?


----------



## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

I wouldn't do it, but I'm sure many people would.


----------



## King Moonracer (Oct 12, 2010)

Im open to open relationships haha. Over time romantic live dies, so why not. If i was married my wife would be just part of my family, like a best friend or sister. If they wanna get it on with somebody else, i think its fine..

But if they completely forget about u then its bad


----------



## OpiodArmor (Jun 15, 2011)

Haha I'm actually in this situation for the first time right now. I didn't know how I would respond until 2 months ago. Apparently I could care less, lol.

I don't feel any guilt at all- zero- but thats partly because the other guy is such a incredible douchebag + tool (Hence why he is getting cheated on in the first place, I'd guess) and because I really love the girl. I've known her for 5 years and we've always been really good friends, but she moved to Arizona a year and a half back and I missed the Hell out of her. 

She moves back to MI, I see her at a mutual friends house, I walk up to her and squeeze her half to death the second I see her, we catch up and start drinking, and the rest is a blur of cheating and deception, lol.

edit- But honestly? If she left him? Well... that's kind of a inevitable event, imo. I mean in young peoples relationships their always going to end, but with these two it's going to be quicker... I'd say they got a few more months, at best, left. Now would I "date" her? Ah... see I want to, I REALLY do, but it's like I feel she should have left him RIGHT away if she REALLY wanted to date me, ya know? So I just view her as what she probably views me as- a good friend that you get to have sex with? 

I don't know how I'll respond. I might date her. I don't know. I think the odds of us just being "**** buddies" is much higher though.


----------



## modus (Apr 27, 2011)

Ouch! What!? Who would want to be a homewrecker?

Guess it's my Catholic upbringing but the very idea of it makes me feel ill.


----------



## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

PLarry said:


> Is it inappropriate to hit on someone's girlfriend/boyfriend? Wife/Husband?


Yes.


----------



## GunnyHighway (Sep 28, 2010)

Yeah...if you know about it then you should stray away. (I'm a big ol hypocrite speaking from recent experience.)

If you don't know until after you've done some stuff then I wouldn't blame it on you though.


----------



## Charizard (Feb 16, 2011)

There's no such thing as stealing a boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband. Your significant other is their own person and they make their own decisions. It's not like you're going to only remember the person who most recently flirted with you.


----------



## kingjay (Jun 4, 2011)

Well, I don't think it is really inappropreate to flirt or hit on someone unless they don't feel comfortable about it, flirting is just flirting, and yes, even people who are happily married flirt with people other than their spouse, it doesn't mean they are going to end their relationship with their spouse, or they do not love their spouse, everyone is human, everyone has feelings, people can love more than one person! 

There are girls I like alot, and if they was single, I probably would act on the feelings I had, and try and form a relationship with them, but most girls I know aren't, it doesn't mean I like them any less or that I should cut them out of my life completely, I can be attracted to someone and not try to steal them away from their boyfriend, at the same time, it is called self-control, most people have it, and anyways, whether or not a girl would want to stay with her boyfriend or not, is her choice!

Like with the girl I like, I know she loves the guy she is with, so I would never try and convince her to leave the guy, but if she ever wanted to know what I thought of her, and wanted a truthful and honest conversation, I wouldn't lie to her, I would let her know I like her, that she is a beautiful and attractive woman, I have no problem with letting her know what I think about her, everyone deserves honesty, everyone deserves to be complimented, just because a person is married or in a relationship doesn't make them any less beautiful, or kind, or attractive, and hearing those things can even make a married woman feel good, flirting is harmless, and people shouldn't over-react to it, that is my thoughts on it anyways!

Hope it helps you!


----------



## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

Unless you know the spouse, you don't have any obligation to them. 

I'd personally be more hesitant though.


----------



## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

It is inappropriate yes, obviously.


----------



## rawrguy (Mar 29, 2008)

> Is it inappropriate to hit on someone's girlfriend/boyfriend? Wife/Husband?


It's quite appropriate if you want to get your *** kicked lol. Seriously though, of course it's innapropriate.


----------



## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

If a girl were to cheat on her boyfriend with me, who's to say she wouldn't do the same thing to me? It's already established that she's capable of cheating. I can't really see the justification here...


----------



## kev (Jan 28, 2005)

If it's an unhappy relationship (probably not a marriage) I think it's fine to show your interest. They can turn you down if they really want to. 

Otherwise, some other guy/girl is just going to swoop in first and you are going to regret not making a move when you had the chance.

And I agree, if the partner is a complete jerk, who the hell cares. Just keep it hidden well so you don't get beat up.


----------



## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

I don't think it's right to hit on a taken guy in public. Ever.

Buuuuuut.... I do think it's okay to ask a guy to break up with a girlfriend. I think a lot of relationships are 'preplanned' in this way. Of course, all nookie waits until the previous relationship has ended. And I'd never ask a man to leave his wife, no way.


----------



## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

I think the "I'll break up with him/her and then we can be together" scenario seems fine. I can't really be bothered with flirting with taken girls though. If a friendship brewed, I wouldn't want to be too attached to them.


----------



## Sparkpea (May 22, 2011)

its amazing how much it happens!


----------



## wmw87 (Apr 20, 2011)

> Is it inappropriate to hit on someone's girlfriend/boyfriend?


No.



> Wife/Husband?


Yes.


----------



## IcemanKilmer (Feb 20, 2011)

Sounds extremely disrespectful and even dangerous. People get can wind up dying over that kind of stuff. There's no telling how someone will react when they are treated that way by their significant other.


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

PLarry said:


> Is it inappropriate to hit on someone's girlfriend/boyfriend? Wife/Husband?
> 
> Should they choose they like you more than their soon to be ex then technically its not stealing because a person is not someone's property and so they can make their own choices.
> 
> ...


Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.....that would include husband, or any significant other. It's not just wrong; it is one of the Top Ten No-Nos!


----------



## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

In my opinion it depends on if they were just casually dating or not. If they've been dating two or three months? Perhaps. Two years? Probably not. Engaged? No. Married? Definitely no.


----------



## theseshackles (Apr 23, 2011)

IcemanKilmer said:


> Sounds extremely disrespectful and even dangerous. People get can wind up dying over that kind of stuff. There's no telling how someone will react when they are treated that way by their significant other.


+1000

The last time I hit on somebody's girlfriend I was unknowingly playing Russian roulette.

Also, if you're gonna hook up with a girl it wouldn't hurt to find out what kind of a person her past ex-boyfriends are like.

Saves you time, and skin.


----------



## Ivan AG (Sep 29, 2010)

I don't doubt for a single second that there are people who wouldn't hesitate one bit when it comes to decisions like these.

You know where I find most of these people on the Internet? 

On PUA forums and blogs. They discuss these things like strategists discussing a battle plan before an operation. They derive some sort of high and euphoria from even talking about it. 

On Roissy's blog (a pick-up arist/political far right ideologist), such actions are justified on the basis that the husband/boyfriend/significant other is a "beta male" who won't do anything to you if you tried to take his partner.

In fact, stealing his GF/wife/etc. is a good test of how much of a man he is, according to some of the more radical proponents of pick-up theory. 

Pure insanity to my mind, although I'm sure I have my own wacked out habits that would make others shun me.


----------



## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Just no, won't do it. Isn't worth it. How trustworthy is the person you're 'stealing away'?


----------



## surrender to nothing (Jun 18, 2011)

Those in relationships are still capable of making their own decisions. If they're that unhappy, they need to end the relationship themselves, rather than being 'rescued' by a third party.


----------



## SHYGIRLUV (Jun 17, 2011)

Nope dont do it. Cuz the soon to be ex might find out and whoop ur ***! Lolz tht wat sum chick tried to do except my man didnt see her tht way n let me know what she was up too. Boy oh boy was she emberressed and even denyed it all wen i confronted her on it why cant u respect there relationship and wait ur turn. Its a bit tacky to let guys know they can have it tht eazy. But hey thts just my opinion frm the oppisite side..


----------



## s0dy (May 23, 2011)

A mix of these two opinions:



diamondheart89 said:


> Just no, won't do it. Isn't worth it. How trustworthy is the person you're 'stealing away'?


+



surrender to nothing said:


> Those in relationships are still capable of making their own decisions. If they're that unhappy, they need to end the relationship themselves, rather than being 'rescued' by a third party.


----------



## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

wife/husband/fiance - yes, very wrong
gf/bf - it depends, on many factors


----------



## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

Revenwyn said:


> In my opinion it depends on if they were just casually dating or not. If they've been dating two or three months? Perhaps. Two years? Probably not. Engaged? No. Married? Definitely no.


I missed your answer before I wrote my own.
I agree.


----------



## MoniqueS (Feb 21, 2011)

I've gotten myself into complicated situations with people that were in relationships and I will never do it again. Its just a lot of drama, guilt and frustration. And if you do end up with the person, how can you ever trust them fully? Not a good idea.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

"All is fair in love and war."

I don't reccomend hitting on attached people with the intention of "stealing" them though. Just because.


----------



## SHYGIRLUV (Jun 17, 2011)

MoniqueS said:


> I've gotten myself into complicated situations with people that were in relationships and I will never do it again. Its just a lot of drama, guilt and frustration. And if you do end up with the person, how can you ever trust them fully? Not a good idea.


 YES!! INtell it happens to u then u know how much drama is gonna come from it and i agree with the whole if he did it with u what makes u think he wnt do it with sumone new? Like my cousin told me " You loose them the same way you get em"


----------



## scorpio26 (Jun 10, 2011)

I usually think it's wrong but my husbands ex-wife was a cheating *****face (she cheated on him multiple times with multiple people) so I didn't feel bad when he started flirting with me..what I don't understand is why she got so mad at me when she obviously didn't care about him at all.


----------



## ripsta99 (Jun 19, 2011)

it is bad and also dangerous. lol. if my wife was caught cheating on me.....i dont even want to think about what i'd do.


----------



## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

PLarry said:


> Is it inappropriate to hit on someone's girlfriend/boyfriend? Wife/Husband?


1. It is inappropriate but....

2. People are not property. A person can't be owned and therefore, can't be stolen.


----------



## fixmein45 (Jul 9, 2009)

I think the husband/wife situation especially if they have kids is immoral. It doesn't mean other guys wouldn't try to steal your wife and/or mother of your kids. I think it just depends on your own morality system and how far you are willing to go in the pursuit of pleasure.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I find it disrespectful and dishonorable.


----------



## SPC (May 14, 2011)

dating isnt engaged. engaged isnt married. if they havent made the commitment of marriage and you think you will be better for them than whoever theyre with now why not give it a shot?


----------



## wraith (Feb 22, 2010)

Whether or not it is appropriate I guess you'll have to make up your own mind about but I can tell you this, if a man/woman is willing to cheat on their current spouse for you there's probably a bigger chance that they'll be willing to turn around and cheat on you too then if you both start fresh. Furthermore you can end up with a lot, seriously, a lot, of unfinished baggage if you get involved in something like this. I learned the hard way and hopefully I won't do it again. My advice, go for someone who is actually available.


----------



## RockIt (Jan 8, 2011)

Speaking from experience as a long time married man (well, 13 years anyway), I can say that having a wedding band on my hand makes little to no difference in the way women approach me. I've had a few uncomfortable scenarios along the way, including phone #s, "hugs" that aren't just hugs, and more than a few "looks." Just yesterday there was a woman who was bending down completing a report when I was at the check out at the shoe store. Her boobs were basically spilling out over the counter. Surely she has more self awareness than that.

Things happen, married or not. And, I'm sure they happen for my wife too. I don't tell her and she doesn't tell me because we both know we didn't start them. What's the point in worrying about situations like this when they are just bound to happen in today's society?


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

^Wow - I didn't know it was that bad!
I am just at the point where I am just noticing that women do notice me, but I would never be paying attention unless it was that blatant. I'm like a freakin' naive teenager. :lol


----------



## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

I wouldn't go after someone's wife that's for sure, gf depends on the situation but probably not. In all honesty I prefer to date women that have been single for at least a little while, less drama that way in my experience.


----------



## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

WintersTale:1059095530 said:


> I find it disrespectful and dishonorable.


Word. Uh words.


----------



## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

I think if they're just dating and not really all that committed and serious about each other then there's no real harm in flirting. But if they're like practically engaged, it's a bit inappropriate, and really inappropriate if the person is already married.


----------



## ImWeird (Apr 26, 2010)

Homewreckers are lame.


----------



## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

Im fine with anyone hitting on anyone, as long as its not my gf


----------



## jamesd (Feb 17, 2011)

Obviously they are unhappy or unsatisfied, otherwise they wouldn't cheat. I think it's doing the other person a favor by showing them that their partner is willing to cheat on them. It's like a public service. I know most people won't agree with me but that's okay since everyone is entitled to their own beliefs.


----------



## cafune (Jan 11, 2011)

PLarry said:


> Is it inappropriate to hit on someone's girlfriend/boyfriend? Wife/Husband?





au Lait said:


> Yes.


This. I don't think it matters whether they're married or not. In my opinion, it is inappropriate.

Besides, the only reason they are in a relationship to begin with is 'cause they like their partner. If they didn't like them, they wouldn't be with them and you would have your chance. But if they are together, leave them be.


----------



## nonso (Jul 30, 2010)

As I see it, just because you are with someone doesn't mean you "own" them. They are free to make their own decisions but yeah, it is inappropriate to go after someone who is in a relationship, whether it's 2 months or 2 years. In the end I think it shows a lot about the boyfriend/girlfriend's character when confronted with that type of situation...how they handle it and their reaction to it. In the same sense, for someone to intentionally flirt with someone in a relationship shows a helluva lot more about their character. Truthfully, it's sickening but most of the time I'm not surprised by it.


----------



## Albert11 (Jun 11, 2011)

IcemanKilmer said:


> Sounds extremely disrespectful and even dangerous. People get can wind up dying over that kind of stuff. There's no telling how someone will react when they are treated that way by their significant other.


So very true!!


----------



## Albert11 (Jun 11, 2011)

Just like monkeys swinging through the trees, can't let go of one branch until it gets ahold of another. Just plain tacky.


----------



## masticatedZagreus (Jun 28, 2011)

Yes. It's that simple.


----------



## itisgoingtobefine (May 15, 2011)

I think when someone's taken you should leave them alone. But once they have broken up with ... Then I think they are fair game. However even that can get sticky because some people will break up and then get back together. What a complicated world we live in!


----------

