# How common is it to be almost 30, or over 30 and not have a career yet?



## JaegerLover217 (Feb 23, 2016)

I would have tried to fit more in the title, I wanted to also include, not being financially stable yet either, not having a job that pays well enough to live on, to pay all of your bills, and be completely financially independent from your parents, etc.

Because i'm almost 30 and I still don't have a career yet, or professional job, a job that pays me enough to live on, to pay all my bills and be completely financially independent from my parents. How common is this? I also have Autism, Aspergers, I know blaming a disability definetley doesn't help, but I wonder if its common for people who have a social disability of a sort to be a late bloomer when it comes to getting well-established, having a career and being financially stable. Sometimes I have felt I have let me family down, because both my parents are college-educated, they both have their Masters degree's, meanwhile I don't have anything beyond a high school diploma, and it seems to be expected of sons or daughters to finish college just like their parents do.

Reason why I mention college, university, is because I feel my parents, well my Mom especially, has conditioned me to believe that it's impossible, or almost impossible, to get a good-paying job, a job that provides you with financial stability to pay all of your bills, if you don't have a college degree.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I'd imagine it's a bit more common than you might think/feel. I'm in the same boat. My parents don't pay for anything for me but I don't make enough to move out on my own, I'm not financially stable, & I only have a high school diploma either. In the end life isn't about meeting society's age checkpoints though. You should focus on your goals and what you feel you can do to achieve them. That's all we can do in the end


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

It's very common for many people at that age and older to not have a set career, and just jump job to job in various fields their whole life just to get their bills and expenses paid and get by. The typical, getting a degree, getting hired to a good 9-5 job, getting promoted and raises every year or few years til retirement, is just an overrated misconception that everyone thinks happen to everyone.


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## OutsideR1 (Mar 13, 2014)

I'm 27 currently and in early stages of the finance field. I had a trainee accountant job but that did not work out as the company was terrible and now I am temping in a finance department but still looking for another company to qualify with. It's hard out there but not everyone takes the standard path in life and a lot of young people are struggling to get a career going these days as companies want more and more. But all you can do is show up everyday and keep trying to find something better or progress. One of my co-workers got qualified as a management accountant by the company I am temping with and he was 28 when he joined so it is never too late but frustrating nonetheless.


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## leamizda (Aug 24, 2017)

It's common, most people i know doesn't got a career even after graduating from uni, in japan 30% of the workforce have part time jobs and the demand of part time worker is higher than regular ones, in under developed countries uni graduates may not make their own career like they would like because of lack of opportunities and in developed countries where there is a saturation of uni graduates there arent jobs for everybody. 

I got a career and things are going well for me but still I think this job market is bad and full of desperate people who even would prefer to sabotage you, with or without uni degree


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## Mlt18 (Jun 29, 2016)

Idk but I'm sure that's how I'll end up. I struggle mentally, socially, + late bloomer which doesn't help. Except neither of my parents have a college degree so it's a wonder I even got as far as I did. 

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## leamizda (Aug 24, 2017)

Freiheit91 said:


> I struggle mentally, socially


Why do you think you struggle mentally and socially? For example graduate in the best university doesn't make you look like you have one of the best mentalities, I could met so many graduates that aren't brilliant or the ones that look brilliant have poor mentality, so I made that question to you because maybe you are not seeing your own potential like most of us here, we are like in the trash bin of society


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## Mlt18 (Jun 29, 2016)

leamizda said:


> Why do you think you struggle mentally and socially? For example graduate in the best university doesn't make you look like you have one of the best mentalities, I could met so many graduates that aren't brilliant or the ones that look brilliant have poor mentality, so I made that question to you because maybe you are not seeing your own potential like most of us here, we are like in the trash bin of society


I have problems with overthinking and not focusing on what's going on around me. I get distracted easily for whatever reason, and my mind freezes up. Plus there is anxiety and all of that stuff. I can't make eye contact or talk to people, not even say hello or anything like that because I get scared of them.

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## TUTF (Oct 21, 2017)

Yup, over 30 and still working min wage. I fell hook-line-and-sinker for that stupid crap about getting a degree and getting a good career. I completed my degree, got a fairly good average, but couldn't get my foot in the door. Well, not entirely true. The only job I got that was related to my degree lasted a month. I overheard a dude bragging about raping me in my sleep, and I got fired for reporting it. We lived in a communal worker's housing, so it was entirely possible. I was honest, too, and said he might have just been saying that. Still, that level of sexual harassment is pretty outrageous! 

Anyway, I feel like I have tried hard my whole life, but I just keep getting kicked in my giant, disgusting buckteeth! First, work references say I can't handle stress behind my back. I've been working a super stressful job for a few years, but apparently, I will never get promoted or anything because this person I trusted has been lying about me behind my back for years! I was using her as a reference for years!

I tried getting a job coach, but ended up mainly talking about my frustrations. There was no action plan, and I just didn't think it was worth it anymore. 

All the temp agencies don't want me. I tried Admin work, but all the software I am used to is older versions. I am used to typing, but numbers just don't often come up in forum conversations.

Basically, the only thing I am good at is getting in internet fights with people. Great job choice that! Get your information spread around by people pissed off at your opinions. No thanks!

So yeah, effed basically. I sincerely hope things work out better for you. I really just want to get into something with a high demand. It's hard out there with robots about to take over by the time you get another degree.... So many jobs disappearing. And people still think the answer to all the problems is more STEM graduates. I am a STEM graduate, and I work min wage!


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## Dan the man (Jul 4, 2013)

Well I'm over 30 and have a full time job. However I'm still trying to implement a long term goal and my current role really doesn't offer much growth. It's a serious possibility for me to go back to school and re center myself.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Pretty common. A lot of people just do unskilled, low-paying crap jobs their whole lives.


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## tree fingers (Oct 23, 2017)

OutsideR1 said:


> I'm 27 currently and in early stages of the finance field. I had a trainee accountant job but that did not work out as the company was terrible and now I am temping in a finance department but still looking for another company to qualify with. It's hard out there but not everyone takes the standard path in life and a lot of young people are struggling to get a career going these days as companies want more and more. But all you can do is show up everyday and keep trying to find something better or progress. One of my co-workers got qualified as a management accountant by the company I am temping with and he was 28 when he joined so it is never too late but frustrating nonetheless.


Would you mind mentioning the temping company you use? I am unemployed living in the UK and desperate to get anything. I have a numerate degree.

Thanks


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## JohnDoe26 (Jun 6, 2012)

Definitely not uncommon. I see a lot of older people working customer service jobs. Also, I think that's the main impetus for the push to raise minimum wage. A lot of older folks are relying on that as their only form of long term income.


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## lostx00xsoul (Jan 12, 2012)

I think it's common enough nowadays. It's hard though trying to enjoy life when you feel unaccomplished and you constantly see your peers hitting the life milestones. Just focus on you and don't give up trying to reach your goals.


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## seiva (Oct 19, 2017)

Yep seconded and agreeing with all the people here. You wouldn't believe how many people are in the same boat, really. Including loads of "normal" people who are too ashamed to post on these forums. It takes courage to admit defeat and many people get stuck in the shame and guilt phase, mainly those who have had it good up until now and then suddenly find themselves on the other side of life. You are not alone and you are not a loser, it's just that few people actually talk about it, they prefer to pretend everything is fine. Better that you talk about it than snap.

I cannot really offer you concrete advice except: keep trying, try solutions that are not immediately obvious, go back and try things that have previously failed and give them a second shot, keep developing your skill base and your interests, and have social time and outside interests to avoid getting depressed. I used my time when jobless and sick in my early 30s (3 years unemployed after an economic crisis) to get back in touch with old friends, read books, and spend more time looking after myself, which you dont get time for when working. 

Good luck and keep us posted.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

It's common. Even some people who went to university or college don't have jobs.

Overqualified. That's the reality of many people.


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## JH1983 (Nov 14, 2013)

Very common. I'll be 34 this year and I've never had a job that pays more than $10/hour. I am financially independent though because my dad died in 2014 and I've had no choice but to be.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lawrencepa (Dec 21, 2015)

Im 28 and live by myself I'm currently out of work on disability benefits but I know that won't last. I need a job but I'm only good enough for low skilled work that pays very little. I like having my own place but it's so expensive. I have to consider rent travel shopping. It all adds up and I'm seriously worried about the future


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

I feel like I finally have a career I enjoy (writing fiction) and I only started a few years ago, at around 40. Ofc, it doesn't pay any better than a paper route so I still have no financial stability. But at least I'm doing something I enjoy.

I got kicked out when I was 18, so I've been financially independent of my parents for over 25 years. I couldn't afford to go to college, but I also never had student loans to pay off, so that's probably for the best in the long run.

My disorders have basically tooled me. I've spent the last 3 decades depressed, anxious, neurotic, confused, hated, self-loathing, and internally conflicted. I have no idea how I've even survived as long as I have, let alone how I would have done anything with my life.

I think people with mental disabilities are way too hard on themselves. If you had a physical disability you wouldn't beat yourself up for not being an athlete. You can't expect to do as well or better than other people in areas where you are disabled. People with SA are obviously going to suffer a lot in areas like career and relationships.


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## Wren611 (Oct 19, 2012)

I'd imagine these days it's sort of common, maybe? Depends where you live, I guess, and what work is available, what you want to do with your life, etc.

There are many things I'd like to do, professionally, and nothing is really holding me back from doing them apart from myself, because the things I want to do don't exactly require any qualifications, I have the equipment I'd need (more or less), and there'll always be a market for them.

The main thing I want to do is run a small animal rescue, and where I live, there isn't really anything like that here, only dog or cat rescues that occasionally with take a rabbit or a ferret etc. I had a hobby guinea-pig rescue for about two years which was successful, so I know I'd have something useful here to offer the area.

But I'm still living in the family home with my dad, who doesn't like animals, so I couldn't do this professionally until I move out, which I can't do because I don't have the money, and I can't simply get a job to get the money and move out because of my anxieties, but if I could, I'd only be working to live elsewhere, meaning no spare money to save for running a rescue... and so on.

It just seems pointless for me to even bother.


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## kjjjjjjjjjkkkk (Oct 30, 2017)

OutsideR1 said:


> I'm 27 currently and in early stages of the finance field. I had a trainee accountant job but that did not work out as the company was terrible and now I am temping in a finance department but still looking for another company to qualify with. It's hard out there but not everyone takes the standard path in life and a lot of young people are struggling to get a career going these days as companies want more and more. But all you can do is show up everyday and keep trying to find something better or progress. One of my co-workers got qualified as a management accountant by the company I am temping with and he was 28 when he joined so it is never too late but frustrating nonetheless.


Are you London based? Which temp agencies are best?


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## OutsideR1 (Mar 13, 2014)

kjjjjjjjjjkkkk said:


> Are you London based? Which temp agencies are best?


No, southwest. I am using Hays but I got lucky as I have a good consultant.


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## JaegerLover217 (Feb 23, 2016)

Canadian Brotha said:


> I'd imagine it's a bit more common than you might think/feel. I'm in the same boat. My parents don't pay for anything for me but I don't make enough to move out on my own, I'm not financially stable, & I only have a high school diploma either. In the end life isn't about meeting society's age checkpoints though. You should focus on your goals and what you feel you can do to achieve them. That's all we can do in the end


your parents don't support you in anything because they choose not to or because you ask them not to?


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

JaegerLover217 said:


> your parents don't support you in anything because they choose not to or because you ask them not to?


My mom can't afford it & my dad has never been one to give hand outs


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## JaegerLover217 (Feb 23, 2016)

JH1983 said:


> Very common. I'll be 34 this year and I've never had a job that pays more than $10/hour. I am financially independent though because my dad died in 2014 and I've had no choice but to be.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


do you live with roommates?


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## quietRiot10 (Jan 25, 2016)

I have no career and I went to uni. Have no interest in doing what I studied as a job as my interests have changed so much. I worked a full-time office job for over a year and had a breakdown. Currently working in retail but considering doing a course and getting back into doing some freelance work on my days off. Here's hoping.


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## JH1983 (Nov 14, 2013)

JaegerLover217 said:


> do you live with roommates?


I live with my girlfriend right now. Never lived with roommates, but have bounced around a few places when I didn't have anywhere permanent to stay. Only friends, family, and girlfriends though. Never had a place of my own yet. I did get some land and bought a trailer and put on it. It's been a project going for a few years and I'm a couple thousand dollars short of getting it livable. It's really slow going with very low income.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pongowaffle (Jul 23, 2015)

I am over 30 and I am still in a job which is not suppose to be the career I desire. It was suppose to be a temporary job I decided to sit on for a year or two. Then 6 years have passed. It comes to a point where you have to accept if the job is good enough to be sustainable, you just try to sustain. Keep moving as you go. Not everyone will fall into the perfect dream job they have great aspiration for what they do. A thing that is oversell as common with people with marketing and social media. People start to believe anything less than this is unacceptable. The American Dream they called it.


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