# Maybe i'm not cut out for college.



## Twice on Time

I'm only into my second semester and i already feel like post secondary education isn't something i'm meant to pursue. it's hard for me to study, do homework, and even get up for class. most of the time i just go to class and come home. i'll do nothing more and sometimes less. i have a new job that i started this week, and worked hard at my last one. it was fast food but i was working 6 days a week with double shifts on mondays and thursdays while going to school at the same time (i enjoy my new job a lot more, but it's way more tiring.) even if i didn't have a job i don't think i'd push myself to do well in school.

idk, i was a total slacker in high school but still managed to get by and graduate on par with everyone else. i even took a few AP and honors classes and passed. i didn't get very good grades, but i still passed. i really want a life of my own and i want to be somewhat "successful". i just don't know what to do. maybe i'm taking the wrong courses right now for my mindset. i went into my music theory class not knowing a lick of theory and on the first day we started talking about things i didn't even know existed. i guess i'll stick to the gen ed stuff next semester until i can brush up on some theory myself.

the only reason i want to go to college is to feel good about myself, but i just don't think i'm diligent enough for it. does anyone have any bright ideas?


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## VanDamMan

In Europe it normal to take some time off after highschool and before college. Maybe you should put college on hold until you find the motivation to go. 

It can be rather expensive.


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## Lachlan

i feel like you.


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## supersoshychick

Twice on Time said:


> I'm only into my second semester and i already feel like post secondary education isn't something i'm meant to pursue. it's hard for me to study, do homework, and even get up for class. most of the time i just go to class and come home. i'll do nothing more and sometimes less. i have a new job that i started this week, and worked hard at my last one. it was fast food but i was working 6 days a week with double shifts on mondays and thursdays while going to school at the same time (i enjoy my new job a lot more, but it's way more tiring.) even if i didn't have a job i don't think i'd push myself to do well in school.
> 
> idk, i was a total slacker in high school but still managed to get by and graduate on par with everyone else. i even took a few AP and honors classes and passed. i didn't get very good grades, but i still passed. i really want a life of my own and i want to be somewhat "successful". i just don't know what to do. maybe i'm taking the wrong courses right now for my mindset. i went into my music theory class not knowing a lick of theory and on the first day we started talking about things i didn't even know existed. i guess i'll stick to the gen ed stuff next semester until i can brush up on some theory myself.
> 
> the only reason i want to go to college is to feel good about myself, but i just don't think i'm diligent enough for it. does anyone have any bright ideas?


I have a hard time in class. I can't concentrate well, and sometimes I get the thoughts of just giving up. But I have to think about what i'm doing this for....
I want a successful lifestyle, and not being dependent on anything/anyone else. I want financial security, great health/dental/life insurance. I want children one day, and I want them to have a great life too. College education will get you where you want to be in life. If you work hard for it, and after you'll feel great about yourself.

As of majors, it personally took me awhile to figure out what I wanted to do. In high-school I had my mindset on Culinary arts; took many school visits to Culinary schools/institutes, and was accepted into all of them. My anxiety kind of held me back, I wasn't ready to leave just yet. So I went to community college (where i still am at the moment), and had set my major to, "Business Administration and Technology", that was soooo boring, the classes werent' interesting. So, I wasted like 2 semesters taking courses I didn't need. So finally, I changed majors to "Communications" although I'm really interested in Advertising, but communications is combined within that major. Community college is mainly for transferring to a four year, but next year I'll transfer, and hopefully anxiety doesn't hold me back. I'm already behind and I know many people don't graduate "on time", but I really want to. I'm 20, and the expected graduation for me is when I'm 22, so I'm a little behind. It's like I have everything planned, and when my plans don't go as planned I sort of give up.

Anyway, sorry about my little non-sense rant lol. Good luck to you, and don't give up just yet.


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## OrbitalResonance

Same for me but i have to do it anyway.


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## LittlePinky82

VanDamMan said:


> In Europe it normal to take some time off after highschool and before college. Maybe you should put college on hold until you find the motivation to go.
> 
> It can be rather expensive.


Yes and it's also not very good to go to just take classes. I sorta wished I didn't go until I knew what I wanted to do, however, if I did that I might not be where I am. I have a lot of classes that I don't really need that I took from my other majors. So everyone is different. I'm doing a community college now til I have my associates. I'm glad I did it this way. Things are good. Professor's are good about working with you and are more easy going about stuff depending on who it is. Class sizes for the most part are smaller than a university. I enjoy online classes too. As long as you get assignments/exams done on time you're good to go. With paying attention in class sometimes I'm that way too depending on what it is especially. So I try to get classes that are the shorter times. I'd rather do that and be able to pay attention. With doing homework I now days split up the reading and assignment work. It helps with remembering things and I do better on exams and I'm not so stressed out etc.


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## Clumsy

I'm only in my first semester and I'm having the same thoughts as you. I just don't feel as if I belong in college. I actually did try in high school, I did really well, was in the top percentage of my graduating class, and now I'm getting C's and D's in college. I'm not sure if it's because I chose the wrong college or major.

I suppose it doesn't help that the college I'm in is far away from my house (about 4 1/2 hours) and that due to my SA, I've been able to talk to very few people, therefore I don't have any close friends yet. My roommate, on the other hand, is this social butterfly who is never in the room and doesn't want to hang out or really even talk to me. Also, everyone else seems to have their groups and stuff already. I've just gotten used to eating alone, I just go to the cafeteria at times when there are very few people there.

I suppose I just feel worthless and alone. I want to try harder on my stuff, but I really cannot focus, even though I'm sitting in my room alone more than half the time. I have no idea what to do. :afr


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## OrbitalResonance

I wish i was with you so i could help you out. 

:|


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## Twice on Time

thanks for the replies everyone, i really appreciate the insight. i'm already starting school late and really feel like taking more time off would be a mistake. i guess my problem is motivation. i find music fascinating, but i just can't bring myself to put forth enough effort in learning and understanding. i need to get my head straight i think. i'm not happy right now and that definitely hinders things. i guess i'll figure something out.



ExplorerAtHeart said:


> I wish i was with you so i could help you out.


i might have to take you up on that offer sometime actually!


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## Faded Lines

Hey buddy,
I am a sophomore and last year I really did poorly (academically I did great, but mentally I was a wreck). The main thing was because I hated the school, which I ultimately transferred from. I love my new school, but the same feelings of hopelessness and "unsureness" still linger, however I am finding ways to cope with it. 

What you need to do is talk to someone about it, and together with that person you can examine why it is you feel this way. With SA this may be hard, but listen. When I was at an all-time low and wanted to practically drop out of college, I sent my dad probably four long emails to explain to him why I felt I wasn't fit for college. By writing things out, not only did it make things more clear to me, but it helped later when my dad would call and say, "Let's talk about it."

So, having no motivation to do homework and study, in my opinion, is no reason to say you are unfit for college. With you I'll share my reasons why I felt the way I did:

1) I wasn't fond of the academic competition. I truly hate kids who constantly talk about exams and stuff, but this may be because I am surrounded by elitist science students (I'm a biology major). I just don't like how everyone just cares about grades, and that college places strong importance in grades, which is understandable. It's almost hypocritical for me to say, since grades are very important for me. BUT, not for my stupid degree, but for me...doing well on an exam proves that I studied hard for a reason and truly learned what I studied. It's more personal.

2) I wasn't into the whole, "Join this and do that, be successful!" Piss off, enough said.

3) I was unsure if I wanted to spend four years or more working just to get a piece of paper, and then possibly having an unclear future. This thought scared me, and I examined dropping out and getting a trade job. Work hard to make money, not mill out a degree.

4) I didn't want to be a part of the "system". I feel that education is severely flawed in America, and I was taking a rebellious stance in that I didn't want to go simply to prove I was mature enough and didn't need college. I didn't want a degree just like all the rest, just to have one.. Foolish thinking, but the thoughts were there. 

While it was really only four reasons that I felt college wasn't for me, they were truly significant in helping me really decide if I wanted to stay or not. Today, these thoughts still remain...however, after a sort of...epiphany, they have subsided. Do you know what my epiphany was? While it may seem extremely corny and cliche, college, for me at least, has reached a point where it is 100% personal, and that's the only way it should be. I am here for no one but myself. I am here to learn something that I am truly curious about, and that is biology. I don't need to fight my way into a lab just to get experience on my resume for grad school, it's all bull****. For me, college is strictly for learning and self growth. I somewhat feel that learning, at least in my respective discipline, matures me as a person, regardless if I peruse a career with my degree. Some may argue, understandably, that you could easily go to a library and learn what you learn at school. There is no doubt, though, that having an expert (in most cases) come up in front of the class and share their knowledge with you is one of the best learning experiences you can ever have.

Ok, I am done. My point is, seriously sit down, and WRITE DOWN, why you think college isn't for you. When you do that, talk about it with someone. They may shed light on why that reason may not be a good one, or something like that. There is a deeper reason than having "no motivation". Something is causing you to have no motivation, and it may be really hard to find.

Maybe college isn't for you, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Maybe you want to just work and live on your own, without the long journey just to get a step up in life. Maybe you don't like the environment of school. Maybe you don't like the actual school. The reasons are endless, you just need to pinpoint them, examine them, and come to an ultimate decision. Just remember, no matter what your decision, no guilt should be associated. You do what you think is right, and **** what everyone around you says. I really do apologize for the long post, and if any of my ideas make you roll your eyes.


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## Manfi

The best way is to have a goal for yourself. 
$$$ is very important to me personally. My goals is to be a millionaire before I'm 40. My plan is to get a job that pays between 40-60K a year by 25 and then invest 1/5 of it on stocks each year. Then I will use the rest to buy real state in Dubai etc... and flip them really fast. 
This is just a scenario I came up for myself and it gets me going. If you don't have a goal you will fail.


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## Twice on Time

Faded Lines - your post couldn't be more perfect for me. we seem to share many of the same thoughts on post-secondary education. i'm only going because i want to study music, and i want a life of my own. i'm not out to meet anyone special, i don't want to join some douchey fraternity, and i don't want to get **** faced every night. i could do all those things without putting forth the effort. the people that ARE doing these things are turning colleges into expensive daycares, it's so frustrating.

i also think the education system is ****** here in the US. anyway, i don't wanna rant.

thanks for the advice everyone. it's clear i have a lot to think about.

more posts are always welcome ^_^


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## OrbitalResonance

Hey Twice on time, where in Virginia are you located?


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## Twice on Time

ExplorerAtHeart said:


> Hey Twice on time, where in Virginia are you located?


i'm in Loudoun County, about an hour outside of DC. A good ways away from you if i'm not mistaken. I'm still pretty unfamiliar with VA so i'm not sure. I guess you're by the beach?


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## hellopiggy

be careful itss not your SA speaking for you!! but i understand how you feeel  i only have 2 yrs to go.


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## Greg415

School is breaking my ba*** right now. Sry that's the only way I can explain it. I feel you man. I took a year off and realized how important it was and now I feel like leaving again. Keep your head up though.


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## OrbitalResonance

Twice on Time said:


> i'm in Loudoun County, about an hour outside of DC. A good ways away from you if i'm not mistaken. I'm still pretty unfamiliar with VA so i'm not sure. I guess you're by the beach?


Yah, im at the red dot and your at the green dot. 3 hours away :eyes


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## honeybear1990

Everyone that I know from my highschool that went to college/university have either dropped out, changed majors several times, or have decided to wait for a few years before going back. It seems that there are a lot of people out there who go to college/university because they think they "should" not because it is something they are actually interested in. I think this is silly. If it doesn't feel right for you, it probably isn't.


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## DoveAgain

I don't think it's a good idea to drop out of college just because you feel like it's not for you. You should still try. It's still a back-up plan to fall back on in case all else fails. Your situation doesn't sound absolutely hopeless either. Music theory might be something you understand if you spend some time reading the textbook. It doesn't sound as hard as something like calculus where a lot of effort needs to be put in. You can try just forcing yourself to read as you fall asleep or something.

I kind of know how you feel though. I'm taking a chemistry class at the moment and feel completely lost and hopeless. Most people seem to know what's going on which is extra discouraging. It requires lots of time and practice and I just feel completely clueless on how to start. I don't even want to go to office hours or talk to a TA because my SA prevents me. I also feel uncontrollably sleepy whenever I start studying and I can't seem to process anything. It's just a disaster. :/


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## Twice on Time

DoveAgain said:


> I don't think it's a good idea to drop out of college just because you feel like it's not for you. You should still try. It's still a back-up plan to fall back on in case all else fails. Your situation doesn't sound absolutely hopeless either. Music theory might be something you understand if you spend some time reading the textbook. It doesn't sound as hard as something like calculus where a lot of effort needs to be put in. You can try just forcing yourself to read as you fall asleep or something.
> 
> I kind of know how you feel though. I'm taking a chemistry class at the moment and feel completely lost and hopeless. Most people seem to know what's going on which is extra discouraging. It requires lots of time and practice and I just feel completely clueless on how to start. I don't even want to go to office hours or talk to a TA because my SA prevents me. I also feel uncontrollably sleepy whenever I start studying and I can't seem to process anything. It's just a disaster. :/


mhm, it's just coming into the class and instantly being behind. i never thought i was good at school and i always feel terrible when i do badly at it. just to come into this class and not know what everyone else it talking about is disheartening. for me it's kind of all subjective anyway. my brother had no problems with calculus at all. he said it was very easy for him and never even studied for any of it. i've never taken calc and don't plan on doing so, so i can't speak for myself. i know i probably wouldn't last 2 weeks in that kind of stuff though.

i guess being behind doesn't make me worse than any other student. something else i'll have to work on. it also doesn't help that all of my resources for the class is in the actual classroom. that means i have to go back to school in my off time (which is almost non-existant) to catch up. the prof. is jumping straight into things i don't know about and expects anyone who is behind to catch themselves up, but i 'm no good at teaching myself. i'll probably ask my guitar teacher for help. i'm already paying him anyway, and i won't have to spend any extra time before/after work and school with someone from school.


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## neeko

Twice on Time said:


> mhm, it's just coming into the class and instantly being behind. i never thought i was good at school and i always feel terrible when i do badly at it. just to come into this class and not know what everyone else it talking about is disheartening.


I felt the same way about a class I was taking in Spring 2009. I ended up getting behind and then I remember the last time I went to that class, I felt like I was gonna have a nervous break down. I had no idea what the teacher was talking about, I was like 2 or 3 chapters behind and that's like hundreds of proofs and exercises to do and I didn't really talk to anyone in the class so I wasn't sure if I was the only one, so I just felt like just terrible and I wanted to kill myself. I mean probably not very seriously but I didn't like living carrying the burden of being so far behind, with nobody to talk to about this that could relate. I just felt like whatever it was that I needed to do to pass the class, I couldn't do it.

So, you aren't alone in this man. I was never really that great at school either. For the past like 2 or 3 years or so, there has been a point in every semester where I thought I was going to fail or that I was no good and would never pass or I didn't feel cut out for college. Even now I still don't feel cut out for college.

But, a lot of people get through it, and a lot of people drop out too. From experience though I feel like I want to get my degree and I don't want to settle for anything but getting my degree in mathematics. It's gonna be hard as hell, but I'm just gonna have to try again. I don't want to think that I will drop out of that class again but if it does I will have to seriously re-evaluate my life and what the hell I am doing going to school if I am not even going to put in the effort to pass my classes.

Cheers, mate. Good luck. *Hopefully we can finish this or decide what is best for us.


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