# I want to go to college, but my anxiety is holding me back..



## Melmo (Jan 31, 2008)

I graduated high school in 2006. I decided I wasn't going to go to college because school just wasn't for me. But i'm sick and tired of working minimum wage jobs and just barely sccraping by. I want a real job, something where I make a decent amount of money. I have always loved animals and wanted to be a veterinarian. I decided to take a veterinary technician course at a college that is only about a 15 minute walk from my apartment. But my anxiety is holding me back. I pretty much won't go unless my friend comes with me. She is applying to college this year, but was going to go to a different one. We both want to go to the same school, but I need her to come with me. They have her course at both colleges but there is only one college in my area that has the course I want to take. If I dont know absolutely anyone at that school, I won't last. I'm even having her come with me to my highschool to get my transcript to apply for the college. She is applying at the college I wanna go to, and the other one she wants. So if she doesnt get into it and I do, I might chicken out at the last minute. I have to look into student loans as well and Im too chicken **** to call. How the hell do people with sa do it?!


----------



## Fangcor (Feb 10, 2008)

Is suggest go for it. You happen nothing to lose. Even if your friend doesnt get ii , still go for it because when your 30-40-60 or any age your going to reget it if you didnt do it.


----------



## livingnsilence (Feb 4, 2008)

deppression makes me...I absolutely need to keep ocuppide and see people every couple days or I it drives me absolutely insane and my depression reaches dangerous levels... so I go to school to do both even though it's hard to do it with SA I've become pretty good at forcing myself to do some things and just go through the situation enduring the anxiety.


----------



## SJG102185 (Feb 21, 2008)

College online. 
http://www.aiuonline.edu/combo/?code=3196


----------



## blueFsharp (Mar 18, 2008)

i think you should apply. you shouldn't ever give in to your anxiety holding you back important life decisions, i think. those are the times where you have to fight through kick and screaming, your heart pounding and tears streaming the whole time. because ultimately, when you have a degree, you'll come out with something you wanted.

and this way- if your friend doesn't get in, and youre already STUCK having to go because of money paid, papers being processed, etc, then you'll be forced into having to go.

i hope you can make it! maybe that is bad advice to just push through even if you want to die, but my therapists have all told me that as bad as my sa is, i've always shocked them that when i have an overwhelming feeling of responsibilty towards something, i force myself to do it. maybe that can work for others.


----------



## Melmo (Jan 31, 2008)

holy helll...ok I applied online last night and they just calle dme back! They want me to go in for an interview today at 10AM. ....Im sooo nervous!!! :S:S


----------



## Melmo (Jan 31, 2008)

Im such an idiot...I feel like crying. I walked up and down the street in the pouring rain trying to find the damn building and I couldnt find it. I just called to ask if I could reschedule my appointment...I feel so stupid... :'( Plus, to add to my misery, Im soaked from head to toe.


----------



## blueFsharp (Mar 18, 2008)

its ok, at least you got the nerve to try to make it to the appointment! and then to call and reschedule. those two things right there are great steps in the right direction. you'll be fine. i'm sure they have people reschedule or even worst just don't show up to things all the time, and they're used to it. they won't think twice about thinking you're silly or stupid. great job so far, i'm happy for you


----------



## livingnsilence (Feb 4, 2008)

blueFsharp said:


> maybe that is bad advice to just push through even if you want to die, but my therapists have all told me that as bad as my sa is, i've always shocked them that when i have an overwhelming feeling of responsibilty towards something, i force myself to do it. maybe that can work for others.


I'm good at forcing myself too to endure through some of my anxieties too though normally it's b/c every choice I make will cause me anxiety like going to college interviews, yeah it causes a lot of anxiety to be interviewed, but if I don't go I worry what my mom will think and I also worry if I don't show up what the people will think of me, so if I go or not I have anxiety either way.


----------



## blueFsharp (Mar 18, 2008)

i get that way too, only my anxiety over going is usually far worse than over what i imagine people will think. and i fancy myself quite talented at lying, so i always just think that i'll be able to have a "valid" excuse for not going when i choose not to.


----------

