# Goodbye



## Pinzelhead (Mar 14, 2007)

I have decided that websites like this are simply making me more and more depressed and feeling hopeless and a lost cause. I mean I will spend hours at a time just browsing depressing posts about how someone is a virgin, loner or homebound and stuff.

You know something I have only read just one or two of the positive post at the most. Because I am such a negative person I am drawn more to the negative posts - not to help or offer advice, just to be comforted by the fact that others are screwed up like me. 

But then I realize it's just like looking at myself in the mirror and what I don't see I don't like. And so I get more depressed and my self-esteem drops further - especially when I read posts about people with SA involved in "loving, close relationships" or those able to get laid and stuff and can't help but wonder HOW TF?!

I mean I used to be so narrow minded about the whole social anxiety thing. I never stopped to think that maybe social anxiety affects people in many different ways and in different levels of severity. I mean, I thought social anxiety would basically screw the sufferers up in EXACTLY the same way I would be. But then how come I am able to go through a job interview and get myself a job yet others can't?! I had little empathy until I had it drummed into me by others on this site.

Now I'll admit I have posted a lot of subconsciously self-pitying, self-loathing rubbish about myself (like being a loner, housebound and a virgin) but I have had enough of that. I'm over it. No more brooding or negativity. And the first step is to leave sites like SAS well enough alone! I'm not saying their bad, they can be good for advice and support. And without SAS I would not have even really known what to do about my social anxiety! But they can also get me (and I bet many others) down far more often and the very fact that some people can really only discuss their psychological problems in the dark, cold place of an internet forum is really saying something isn't it ? Instead of spending hours at a time on SAS complaining of this and that symptom I could be working on ridding myself of SA.

I came to this conclusion after I didn't post for a few weeks and I actually felt somewhat better than I did. I actually forgot about social anxiety for a while. But then when I came back I felt kind of weird and just plain depressed about having stupid social anxiety disorder. And for the first time in more than two decades I actually sat with my family in the lounge! I felt really weird I was all tense but just played along as cool and calm. No anxiety-provoking arguments with my father. Then the next day when I went in my room to do what I was so used to doing THAT felt weird. I mean I could see my behaviour is in fact very strange. I now understand why people give people funny looks when they say they don't "go out" like to clubs and stuff. 

The first thing I have done is order the dozen or so list of books that was recommended by someone on this site in order to control my anxiety, then I'll start cracking away at my underlying personality issues than fuel my social anxiety. Then I will just look towards that bright light at the end of the tunnel  .


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## nu shoez (Dec 13, 2006)

goodbye and good luck!!


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

take care


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## danielk (Jun 4, 2008)

It's great to see an expression of insight! _Nosce te ipsum_.


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## X33 (Feb 13, 2005)

Take care and best wishes! I liked your idea on how to develop focus in your other thread and am actually practicing it. I forgot to mention it in the thread but thanks for posting it.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

see ya, have a good life.


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## Bandit6 (Oct 20, 2007)

Many professionnals aren't totally fond of forums like these 'cause, like the rest of internet, anybody can say any kind of crazy things. But it's a great place to get informations if you're able to not let the frustrations and bad experiences/opinions posted by other members get to you. 

If you can't afford to spend time on sites like SAS anymore, it means you're on the right path. Keep up the good work! :yes


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## landersen (Aug 2, 2008)

I know exactly what you are talking about. I had visited a suicide-related forum for weeks before my first major depression phase kicked in. 

These sites can really pull you down. But at the same time I really value that they confront you with your issues. If somebody speaks plainly about the problems you are going through every day, it's the first step towards actually daring to think about why your life is so screwed up, and that's the only chance you have to make a change IMHO.

Concerning the idea that these forums include a lot of nonsense that is not medically proven: As far as I am concerned psychology is not a science yet since the human brain is much too complex and diverse to conclude anything that can help people efficiently.

These forums, however, can change all that: It's a huge mass experiment, every one shares her or his insight and you can really find someone who experiences the same issues in the same way as you do, and see what her or he is doing to overcome them.

Something like that never happens when you talk to a doc who doesn't even really know what he is talking about (remember, seeing is believing) and only recites stuff he learned in a textbook.

Anyway, don't see these forums as black and white, I'm sure you'll come back periodically, or at least I hope, because might depression got worst during the time I did NOT frequent them.


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