# Teachers who pick on "quiet students"



## Nessie91

Ugh I thought as soon as I left high school this **** would be over..but no it's not. 

There's this male teacher I have and he's called me out twice for being quiet. I am too nervous to confront him after class.. he looks at me every time he asks the class if they have any questions. :roll
If he has a problem with my quietness he should pull me aside after class and not humiliate me in front of everyone. Why can't teachers leave me alone? Or mind their own business.


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## TheSeeker

I had to deal with the same thing in school. When I was in school or for me now at work, I always wanted to keep to myself. Let all the people that like to talk, talk. When I was in class, regardless of grade, I would always get singled out to read something, or answer a question out loud. I never liked speaking out loud to groups (i'm a little better with it now), so I hated it. I knew that everyone was listening to me, how I talked, if I gave the right answer. I know some teachers try to do this to all their students, but I saw kids that hardly ever got called on too. A lot of teachers have certain student that they always have to single out.


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## lampshadesonfire

Ugh, I know, it's extremely frustrating. Ever since starting university, there seems to be an emphasis on changing the 'not naturally assertive' as one of my lecturers described it. It's like they assume quietness to be an infantile quality that you're supposed to have grown out of by now. I'm paying for education, not to have my personality changed or frowned upon.


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## twitchy666

Read the book I'm half way through if you didn't know it. I found it here, due to a quote of Stephen Hawking...

Susan Cain: Quiet

Your thread is valuableto me. I think my teachers have been 'kind' and praised for my something during school. They might have all be laughing at me now. Everyone says: "good luck" to be nice.
Should be part of their job not to scold people. I do want reality; not lies.

My regular prompt to stand up and introduce yourself and comments... always made me feel scared or short on material to bring up anything worthy.

Always a writer, and a thinker. Not an extrovert

If you get picked on, try to analyse the reasons and put it to good use. Recent years have involved psychologists pointing out my communications failures. They use my epileptic seizures to blame for my problems and say I'll always be disabled

I think each episode is absolutely recoverable. I get back to my normal state.

My slight SA background has taken a long time to discover (2011) 

It's being picked on by recruiter agencies by moaning and hanging up that lead to some personal disaster.

Classic 'unable to hold a conversation' gets me spinning because it's entirely their inability to communicate with anyone intelligent. Arguing about anything happens in life but a crux of employment

At present I'm investigating why I seem to be on the rejection heap and all I want is one simple reason which is hidden and must go with the policy to not cause suicide and always be so pleasant about 'letting you go', 'good luck' of every bully


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## ElectricGhost

In college all my professors would always get me to participate somehow or someway. One time I got to class and within the first five minutes she had the class pick groups and play some sort of unnecessary group game that was not even on the schedule at all. I just packed my stuff up and left and didn't care if she saw me. I was not going to waste my time with mind games. If some of your classes are not that important maybe you should try this a few times. Meaningless classes I would just always take the hit in grade and pass with the minimum just so I could have an easier time being comfortable


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## Ivy60

We had to do group work in math class. I was already nervous, but then my teacher pointed out that I needed to stop being so quiet and "shy" in front of the whole class and I ended up getting a C for it. I wasn't even the only one who was quiet


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## CharlieHorse

I forget how it went in school. But in uni, the lecturers usually pick on students to make sure that they are paying attention and follow the material. I'll be honest, I get very nervous when I get called on and feel dumb if I can't answer. So I'll try to read ahead of the lectures so that I at least know the answer.


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## moonlite

Nessie91 said:


> Ugh I thought as soon as I left high school this **** would be over..but no it's not.
> 
> There's this male teacher I have and he's called me out twice for being quiet. I am too nervous to confront him after class.. he looks at me every time he asks the class if they have any questions. :roll
> If he has a problem with my quietness he should pull me aside after class and not humiliate me in front of everyone. Why can't teachers leave me alone? Or mind their own business.


Is that in university?

Some years ago when I was on a personal development course, the group leader called me and two other guys out in the group in front of everyone because we weren't getting involved in the discussions. He said "you three need to start being vocal" and then started asking why are we quiet, did you get bullied at school, etc.. It is humilating, but that's life.


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## arnie

shiori123 said:


> I had one teacher in high school who liked to spend the first ten minutes of class every Monday calling on people and asking what they did over their weekends. If no one volunteered to share he would call on random people. Usually when he called on me I made something up, but one time I didn't and said I hadn't done anything special. He told me, "You need to get out more." I wanted to punch him.


Wow, what a dick. It's as if extroverted people should live everyone's their lives to their standards. I hate feeling like I have to act a certain way around them. I hate feeling like I have to talk loudly just so I won't get picked on. It makes me rage inside.


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## InfiniteBlaze

I had a teacher like this in high school. It was incredibly obvious he favored the extroverted students. He called me out for not participating in class multiple times and he would say my name randomly like I was asleep (yes, he's that weird) even though I was clearly paying attention.

Fortunately, I've yet to experience this in college. Pretty much all of my professors simply teach and don't care about you unless you talk to them and ask questions.


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## CheezusCrust

Nessie91 said:


> Ugh I thought as soon as I left high school this **** would be over..but no it's not.
> 
> There's this male teacher I have and he's called me out twice for being quiet. I am too nervous to confront him after class.. he looks at me every time he asks the class if they have any questions. :roll
> If he has a problem with my quietness he should pull me aside after class and not humiliate me in front of everyone. Why can't teachers leave me alone? Or mind their own business.


I hate that. I experienced some of that in college as well. I think it's ok (albeit challenging) if a teacher just wants to include you and try to get your input but some go way to far embarrassing the student or making fun of them for being quiet. On the day of an exam, anaccounting professor of mine just had to say that "____, you're so quiet" in front of everyone. Not nearly as bad as many of the other things that have been said to me, but still annoying and I felt that it was none of her business what I was like especially since she didn't seem outgoing herself.

Anyway, I totally agree with you. Sorry that that professor is being an *******. Like I said earlier, there are other ways to try to ease people into situations rather than humiliating them.


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## mr hoang

I feel bad for you. Some teachers just have no idea how hard it is for some of us. I understand that being more vocal is encouraged but calling us out in front of the class does not help at all.


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## Princu

I am gonna give a little different reply..
Some teacher are actually GOOD.They just want to bring ourselves out of our shell.I have been through the same circumstance.You won't belive but I was once asked to deliver a full 3 min speech on a topic before the whole class.I was terrified.But still I tried and Guess what..I killed it and my classmates clapped for me.It was such a good feeling.ALways Remember-
*The best way to escape a problem is to face it.*


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## ASB20

Yeah, I hear ya - those teachers sound like royal *******s. No empathy there and all, and frankly, it's symptomatic of the position. A subset of college professors act like they own the place.

I had one professor like that in a marketing class, but I promptly dropped the course. I wasn't going to deal an entire semester with that *****. 

Alternatively, skipping class is also a nice perk about university as compared to high school.


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## Raynic781

Never really had this happen to me I don't think. He probably doesn't mean any harm, maybe just attempting to get you involved in the class, who knows?


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## always starting over

TheSeeker said:


> I had to deal with the same thing in school. When I was in school or for me now at work, I always wanted to keep to myself. Let all the people that like to talk, talk. When I was in class, regardless of grade, I would always get singled out to read something, or answer a question out loud. I never liked speaking out loud to groups (i'm a little better with it now), so I hated it. I knew that everyone was listening to me, how I talked, if I gave the right answer. I know some teachers try to do this to all their students, but I saw kids that hardly ever got called on too. A lot of teachers have certain student that they always have to single out.


That's awful man. I would hate to be in that class. It's not as severe but I always hate when teachers ask what everyone did over the weekend, then if everybody's quiet, they have to go "So NOBODY did anything FUN over the WEEKEND? LOL CMON YOU GUYS".


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## CheezusCrust

always starting over said:


> That's awful man. I would hate to be in that class. It's not as severe but I always hate when teachers ask what everyone did over the weekend, then if everybody's quiet, they have to go "So NOBODY did anything FUN over the WEEKEND? LOL CMON YOU GUYS".


In a language class, a teacher would always ask this and my classmate would always reply in Japanese, "I ate an apple." It pissed her off but usually shut it down fast.


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## mr hoang

Princu said:


> I am gonna give a little different reply..
> Some teacher are actually GOOD.They just want to bring ourselves out of our shell.I have been through the same circumstance.You won't belive but I was once asked to deliver a full 3 min speech on a topic before the whole class.I was terrified.But still I tried and Guess what..I killed it and my classmates clapped for me.It was such a good feeling.ALways Remember-
> *The best way to escape a problem is to face it.*


What if you faced it and it goes terribly wrong and everyone sees you screw up and embarrass yourself. Those experiences can haunt you. But I guess it depends on how you look at it. For example, I went back to school for a two day course in the summer. There were multiple times where I was forced to speak in front of the class. I remember being so nervous when It was my turn. My voice was broken and I think everyone knew I had a big issue with it. The feeling was so uncomfortable and I was glad it was over. Because of that experience I'm a bit hesitant to go back to school.


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## Staticnz

I teach English and occasionally I call on a quiet student, but I try to do so kindly, and if they are struggling with it, I give them the answer myself and move on so they don't get too embarrassed.

It's important to try to bring out the quiet people a bit more...but point out they are quiet? Is very wrong to do. You don't make them feel weird, but like they are part of the class even though they are quiet.

With some kids it can't be helped because the are so reserved no amount of 'inclusion' will seem to bring them out of their shell. I think those kids may need special classes or attention to build their confidence a bit.


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## Princu

mr hoang said:


> What if you faced it and it goes terribly wrong and everyone sees you screw up and embarrass yourself. Those experiences can haunt you. But I guess it depends on how you look at it. For example, I went back to school for a two day course in the summer. There were multiple times where I was forced to speak in front of the class. I remember being so nervous when It was my turn. My voice was broken and I think everyone knew I had a big issue with it. The feeling was so uncomfortable and I was glad it was over. Because of that experience I'm a bit hesitant to go back to school.


We are not expected to win or do well every time.The thing what matters the most is the fact whether we tried or not.IF we tried our best,There is absolutely no reson to feel ashamed whatsoever.


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## mr hoang

Princu said:


> We are not expected to win or do well every time.The thing what matters the most is the fact whether we tried or not.IF we tried our best,There is absolutely no reson to feel ashamed whatsoever.


Well said. I did feel that I tried my best and in a way was glad I went through it. It was also the first time I've been back in school in 7-8 years. 
I guess I didn't like the feeling of being judged by others.


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## Crumb

I' am still in high school. My AP literature teacher seems to single me out a bit. Not in a necessarily bad way. A few days ago, it was my turn to present a poem I had to annotate. Basically, he presented the entire for thing for me while I awkwardly stood in the corner, with my head down and shaking like a chihuahua. This was an awful experience. Granted, it would have been awful either way. Though, I' am glad I did not have to stutter my way through every single syllable. I think he just kind of pities me a bit. I have had other teachers act in similar ways in the past.


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## Charmander

I imagine they get told to look out for quiet students and try and "bring them out of their shell". Still annoys me though; common sense is to leave people alone once it's clear they're not comfortable talking.


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## dontwaitupforme

Burn in hell.


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## LanaB

I hate teachers like this. I actually haven't experienced it in college yet, but I think it's because my classes are larger. In HS I had an English teacher who would pick on me all the time and embarrass be because I was quiet. I hated it so much. I think they just don't realize how much it affects us because they don't know what it's like to live with SA.


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## McFly

Our high school adopted 'participation standards' or something close to that. Basically you had to raise your hand and try to answer a question, read out loud during reading session, answer problems on the board. I think you had to do six participations a quarter or you could be knocked down a grade at the end. Some teachers took it very seriously, other's didn't care and just passed everyone on the participation. I remember some kids had a real hard time and couldn't even do it.


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## Luc

I wanted to choke one of my teachers about this. Note: I am quiet and respectful in class, not one of those annoying boisterous kids. I take notes and do my work, always answering in a polite, respectful way. But this one math teacher did not like me at all. He would constantly call on me and randomly stop his lecture to say " Hey, so and so, you're listening right" and I would reply, " Yes, I am." and he would say " I hope so, you really need to work harder in this class", IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. Like, bro, I am not sleeping in your class. My eyes are open and I am staring into the depths of your soul. My hand has a pencil in it and I am taking notes. What is your problem??? I would get such horrible anxiety in class because he would pick on me constantly, so I just stopped going to school the days I had his class. Eventually the school called my parents and asked me why I had 15 unexcused absences. It's not like they could say " Oh, yeah, she had a mental break down because her math teacher is an asshat"


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## goody

I have to deal with this one professor who picked on my every single day for being quiet in class. He could clearly see I payed attention, did my work, handed in everything on time, he even complemented me on my writing. After midterms I went to ask him about one of the questions, with one of my friend in the class. He clearly asked me why I don't participate, said I was on mute and wanted more from me. Right in front of my friend. I teared up, something I was very self conscious about, I said I am just a shy person and he just started at me and said he makes it a comfortable environment I shouldn't feel that way and I said its just how I am I enjoy listening. It's especially hard in this particular class because it's a mixture of young students but mostly older people who have a lot of experience and know many things to always add to the conversation, which I don't. Its a hard situation and I am afraid he is going to give me a bad grade which I don't deserve at the end of the semester. Can I go to the dean?


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## Saitama

Lol, I got embarrassed so much in HS English/French class by the teacher(s). The English teacher would always pick on me to analyze or read the passages and then make fun of me with the other students. It felt terrible at first but eventually I got a perverted sense of ecstasy from the embarrassment in a masochistic kind of way. Ah...those were the days.


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## willtopower

Did he literally say-in whatever form- that you are quiet? What a pos. I'd call him out very quickly


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## gisellemarx

These teachers are often extremely arrogant and want to relate to the younger generation so they're well-liked, and picking on the quiet kid has always been quite popular. These teachers were jocks, bullies, popular kids in high school, and probably college. They've been picking on the quiet kid their whole lives.

This is why I'm doing online college.


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## RawrJessiRawr

Had one professor mock my appearance, saying I look like im 12 because my piercing. so I looked at him because he should be more understanding (He was my psychology professor), and said "I have avpd" We actually learned that in class the day before, He asks "what?" as the class looks at me and my face is turning red but I was mad and felt like I had to address it because days before I had another professor mock me in front of the class, wouldn't take it twice. Told him Avoidance personalty disorder and he gasped saying he was so sorry then he got mad that another professor mocked me, he said sorry a million times after x.x never did pick on me after though.


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## PorcupineTree

That sucks, I'm really sorry you had to go through that. 

I had a lot of teachers like that in high school--one even mimicked me whenever I'd talk because I mumbled and was soft spoken. She caused me a lot of anxiety.


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## HannahG

Charmander said:


> I imagine they get told to look out for quiet students and try and "bring them out of their shell". Still annoys me though; common sense is to leave people alone once it's clear they're not comfortable talking.


I HATE that phrase. "Come out of their shell" It makes me want to punch people. My old boss treated us like dirt and when she'd make small talk none of us wanted to chit chat but we started just flashing a smile and making some BS up to appease her. When I started doing this, she said I 'came out of my shell'. When I was in elementary school I had teachers that said I needed to come out of my shell...I was quiet and my SA wasn't an issue back then. I just chatted with a few of my friends and spoke when spoken to. I read a lot too but I was never a loner back then. To me "Come out of your shell" Is code for 'pretend you're an extrovert' because really, no one cares they just want everyone to conform.

**Side note, if you think about it, these extroverts picking on introverts will have issues of their own when they get older. Think about it, when they are living in nursing homes and unable to drive themselves places, they are going to be alone and/or 'lonely' because they will not be able to talk with people very often. If they're old the other seniors may be too deaf or have Dementia so carrying on conversations will be difficult. For us introverts and those with SA, we'll just be there, amusing ourselves with all the different hobbies we picked up when we're at home alone... we'll be the interesting seniors I bet and the extroverts may end up depressed and miserable.


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## shwoop

I had an English teacher who would mock me every class because I was quiet and soft-spoken. She even accused me of pretending to be quiet as to seek attention from others.


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## malaise

I think there is a way to engage quiet and socially anxious people like us in class in a sensitive and understanding way- unfortunately some teachers aren't very perceptive and just end up pushing buttons. I went through that a lot in high school and junior high and it was hell. You can't just jump off a cliff, it takes small steps. I don't know, perhaps I should have spoken to my teachers and they might have accommodated me in some way, but I doubt it. It's one reason why I still have a hard time with authority figures because my teachers growing up were so horrible. I remember a moment where these two girls were bullying me to the point of tears and my teacher literally just watched without doing a thing. I was sitting two feet away from her desk and even made eye contact and she did nothing. 


I am much better now than I used to be. Before I would always find a way to get out of doing presentations or speaking in class, but now I can't, so I have no choice but to learn how to cope. I'm never going to be that outgoing, talkative person who has insightful and intelligent things to say, but if called upon I'll try my best, and that's all I can do.


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## NuthinSimple

Maybe they're trying to force exposure for your own benefit?

School is preparation for life. 

Just a thought


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## orange2015106

Sometimes, a teacher/professor always picks the same person to answer questions because he/she knows that one person is the only one that actually puts any effort in to listen and understand the material. I remember in high school, I wasn't thrilled with asking questions or reading, but once in a while I volunteered on my own just because no one else cared and we would just sit there in silence for the rest of the period if no one broke it. I think most notice stuff like that and can subsequently see you in a positive light.

As with anything, there will always be a few rotten apples in the bunch that don't get it but sometimes it could just be a misunderstanding. In general, the idea of class participation grades and such is complete bologna. And the professors that force you to work in groups never seem to understand that the loud, talkative ones don't care about the class and their work ends up in someone else's possession.


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## ShatteredGlass

This thread is eons old but I just want to say that I believe there should be a special place in heck reserved for teachers who pick on quiet students.


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## Cool Ice Dude55

Urrrgh, I had a teacher throw me out of class and put in the "stupid" class for English. All because I was quiet. 

My Psychology "teacher" was really horrid about me being quiet. I'm sorry but if you studied psychology for years surely you'd understand why???!!

These teachers just need to burn in hell. How can they work with hundreds of people and not understand some of them may be a bit quiet?


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## lost wanderer

Oh yeah, happened a lot in school also did at work. I cannot wait for the next person to try that on me now that I'm not as shy as before, they are really gonna get a piece of mind.


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## Freiheit

I stay quiet in class mostly because I don't feel prepared enough to say anything remotely smart. I have a hard time forming coherent sentences and analyzing new information when in a group setting. I'm just a lousy talker. If teachers don't like that, I can't tell because I've never had a college professor mention anything to me about it.


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## Farideh

My professor cussed at me in front of my classmates over a mistake I made. I didn't show up to his class for a week and when I came back, he was a total butt kisser. He knew he freaked me out and his way of apologizing to me was by being nice to me. People who have authority over you believe thy can treat you however they want. Unfortunately, the majority of people suck and there's nothing we can do about it unless you want to stay home.


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## ZADY

Yeah. This reminds me of one specific teacher in the beginning of high school who went out of his way to single me out. I seriously think he has something against me, the way he treats me. Haha. Back then it was terrible, but now I just find him funny. I'm about to go to uni, and after reading your post, I'm kind of worried now. But yeah, agree with you.


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## thetown

I hate these teachers. During a class discussion, so many people are talking that I have to put a lot of effort in listening and analyzing what they're saying, which leaves me with no time to make a well-thought response. 

I would argue that I am participating. I'm listening to everything people say and thinking about what they're saying. I just don't have anything new to contribute to the discussion, so the teachers should just stop calling on me.

When teachers make class participating part of the grade... this is what frustrates me the most.


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## DaDoodNooneKnows

I don't get my teacher... She will be pissed at me when I ask a question and when some noicy guy yells random **** in class she's just laughing with him... I guess she doesn't know how it is to be shy asf


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## CNikki

Unfortunately, there are difficult professors well onto college. Some think that they can abuse their power depending on whether they are head of the department they teach or have seniority (I know there's another term but it slipped out of my mind...)

Try to ride it out and avoid eye contact with him. If it's affecting your grade then you definitely need to pull him aside after class since it's likely too late to withdraw from the course.


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## BigBlueMoon

I am having awful flashbacks to high school just reading this thread. I had a biology class in my junior year of high school with a very "hip", good-looking teacher. He was very laid-back and loved assigning group work to reduce the amount of assignments he had to mark. The class was super cliquey and always paired up with the same people and since I had no friends in the class, I was always left out and the teacher ended up having to pair me up with random people.


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## 2Milk

I was always picked on both for being quiet and smart. It was the worst. Everyone expected me to know the answer. When the teacher asked the answer to a question and the whole room stayed silent, the teacher would then say "myname what do you think." Wtf why me....

On many occasions I was told to go up to the board and explain to the class how to do a certain problem. Most of the time I painfully and probably unsuccessfully tried to teach the class, but I also refused a couple of times because I couldn't handle the anxiety.


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