# Don't Feel Like I Fit In My Major



## TomRiddle (Jan 30, 2014)

I'm one of four girls in my engineering program and I feel horribly like I don't fit it. 

I've always been pretty shy and extremely self-conscious around guys so I had a very hard time making friends. I hated sitting in class because I always felt like they were all watching me and talking about how weird I was behind my back. It got to the point where I just skipped massive amounts of class. 

I've been able to find any other girls who feel alienated as I do in our program, which is only making me feel more estranged, I guess. Can anyone relate?


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## Niche (Dec 28, 2013)

If you are shy and not good at making friends, then social skills to you has higher priority to learn than the academic skills, such as engineering. 

If someone is good at making friends, then to them academic skills have higher priority than the social skills.

So I suggest you to choose a different major which can really train your social skills, such as communication, sociology, education, English literature, film study, etc. Because, if you fall short at social skills, it will ultimately and gradually affect your academic performance unless you really have some great talent on engineering or are strongly interested in engineering.


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## brooke_brigham (Nov 28, 2013)

Niche said:


> If you are shy and not good at making friends, then social skills to you has higher priority to learn than the academic skills, such as engineering.
> 
> If someone is good at making friends, then to them academic skills have higher priority than the social skills.
> 
> So I suggest you to choose a different major which can really train your social skills, such as communication, sociology, education, English literature, film study, etc. Because, if you fall short at social skills, it will ultimately and gradually affect your academic performance unless you really have some great talent on engineering.


This advice is really confusing to me. Youre telling an Engineering major to switch majors to something like Sociology?? Because you think that she should get some b.s. major just to be cooler but fail in life because nobody hires people with "social" degrees?? Okaaaayyyy

Ok so anyway obviously you're going to feel awkward in any class.. I assume you're feeling that way because it's male dominated?? Who cares! It's a tough field but clearly if you stay the course you're going to have a secure future in a well paying field. You can practice your social skills from your nice corner office with a view.


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## Niche (Dec 28, 2013)

blue_blue said:


> This advice is really confusing to me......


Yes, it will confuse you, and probably most of people.

If one is not good at social skills or making friends, then the one will never be happy, and be lonely forever. Under such *unhappy mode*, I strongly doubt that the one is able to finish the Bachelor's degree. Sooner or later, the one is going to drop out. Even if the one finally finish the Bachelor's degree, the one must be suffering in school for many years, which could tremendously and probably permanently damage the one's physical health and mental health.

Is it worthwhile to get this Bachelor's degree by sacrificing lots of time and health please? Can this Bachelor's degree really lead the one to have a happy life in the future? Maybe the one needs at least Master's degree in order to have a happy life. But that means additional two years of suffering! When will the suffering end? I tell you:" *it never ends*!" I suggest you to find an interest and a comfortable working environment so that you can work in a *happy mode* so that you will be extremely productive!


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## prettyful (Mar 14, 2013)

it is typically regarded as a male major but i think its great that women want to be engineers.


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## brooke_brigham (Nov 28, 2013)

OK well that clarified nothing really. Im glad the economy in Canada is so swell but here in the USA and most countries yes you work your *** off at a difficult major so you can get a *well paying job.*
Hey look! I can use bold red too!

You don't get to take fluffy majors just to be more social in this kind of economy. You can also be a social recluse sitting in the back of a Sociology class.


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## Niche (Dec 28, 2013)

blue_blue said:


> OK well that clarified nothing really.


Thank you! :clap


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## TomRiddle (Jan 30, 2014)

Chrool said:


> I guess I should start with the obvious question of whether you've tried to make friends with the other girls in course?
> I myself have trouble making friends in my engineering course too ( Most engineers are pretty introverted ) but I found that I could usually make friends with lab partners and people in group projects. In my experience engineering students are some of the least judgemental people that I come across during my course.


I have tried to talk to the other girls but two of them never show up to class and the other one is incredibly *****y and self-absorbed and I've spent way too much time pretending to like her and it's annoying me. I have some guy friends but I can't get too close to them or they always get the wrong idea. Other than that, I've always overwhelmed by a sense or dread and fear when I'm around my other classmates.

Also maybe I should mention I'm already done 3 years of my degree (currently doing work placement) so I might as well just finish my degree. I think if I were to switch majors now, the anxiety problems would still persist, though I suspect they never would have gotten this bad had I picked a major that had more equal gender representation.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Join a club or something. Sorry it's all I could think of.


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