# Why do some girls seem to hate me the second they meet me (I'm a girl)



## doubtfulmiracle

Sometimes I meet friends of my good girlfriends, and it feels like they're icy to me the second my friend introduces us to each other. Now I'm definitely the kind to over-analyze people's facial expressions and ****, but this isn't all the time so I don't think I'm imagining it. 

Usually I feel like they're looking me up and down, like sizing up my appearance. 

Now I don't care if girls don't like me specifically because they don't think I'm pretty enough to hang out, because I don't want to hang out with those shallow *******s anyways

But it hurts my feelings when people I actually think are alright and are really close friends to our mutual friend just don't seem to like me the second they meet me. Because these people I actually think are cool, in the like smart, considerate way. Like it feels like we're actually pretty similar. And I don't understand why they act BFF with my friends but just don't warm up to me.

I'm so crap at explaining this 

But it feels like it could either be like 

1. I'm obnoxious without realizing it (because I'm also really shy, and have a soft voice and am short so I never feel like I'm in a dominant position, but I can also be sassy so maybe it comes off as *******-y...I mean there are times I say things I shouldn't)

2. my shyness and intimidation comes off as *****iness 

I mean I lack self-awareness so i'm willing to learn how to change my behavior if I'm being too obnoxious...but it's also like, if my friends are fine with this (and they're cool people well-liked by a lot of people) why can't THEIR friends stand me?

Makes me sad.


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## InimitableJeeves

I know what you are talking about. It's a shame people behave that way.


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## NoClue32

I feel this way too. I know part of it has to do with how much I analyze everything, but sometimes it seems like people don't want to get to know me. Maybe they can sense negative vibes or something. Even if I'm genuinely trying to form some sort of connection, they just remain standoffish towards me, but the moment someone better comes along, they loosen up :fall


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## doubtfulmiracle

Thanks for the replies guys...I don't really know what to say, on the one hand I understand if I'm being obnoxious and too hyper, or sometimes I overanalyze someone's expressions as pissed off and they're really just tired...or they actually do think I'm annoying but I take it way too personally which annoys them even more. 

And it just doesn't feel fair that sometimes I feel like a guy or another girl is acting the same way I do, but when they do it it's adorable, and when I do it it's like "god who does she think is" 

I dunno I'm just really not self aware so I feel like I'm come off weird but I don't even know why--seriously there are moments that I say something seriously and people are like hahaha "you're so cute" but in that condescending way like I can't believe you just said that, but I'm also really self conscious so I really really take things personally.

And then I only hang out/show my true self to people I feel safe with--that either are socially awkward like me, or like me for who I am, so then I never learn..


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## doubtfulmiracle

ok the obnoxious thing can't always be it because the other half the time I'm really quiet and shy and I still get looked up and down


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## hollowman32

Maybe it's because they're jealous you're really hot, or it could be because they're shy too. I have a habit of thinking people think the worst of me, which generally becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.


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## weekendoffender

I feel the exact same way when meeting other girls for the first time. They always size me up, even tell people that they don't like me for no reason whatsoever. I don't know why some people act that way.


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## DarrellLicht

Generation Y are basically a bunch of snot-nose brats. I wouldn't pay too much attention to them.


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## Dexie

doubtfulmiracle said:


> Sometimes I meet friends of my good girlfriends, and it feels like they're icy to me the second my friend introduces us to each other. Now I'm definitely the kind to over-analyze people's facial expressions and ****, but this isn't all the time so I don't think I'm imagining it.
> 
> Usually I feel like they're looking me up and down, like sizing up my appearance.
> 
> Now I don't care if girls don't like me specifically because they don't think I'm pretty enough to hang out, because I don't want to hang out with those shallow *******s anyways
> 
> But it hurts my feelings when people I actually think are alright and are really close friends to our mutual friend just don't seem to like me the second they meet me. Because these people I actually think are cool, in the like smart, considerate way. Like it feels like we're actually pretty similar. And I don't understand why they act BFF with my friends but just don't warm up to me.
> 
> I'm so crap at explaining this
> 
> But it feels like it could either be like
> 
> 1. I'm obnoxious without realizing it (because I'm also really shy, and have a soft voice and am short so I never feel like I'm in a dominant position, but I can also be sassy so maybe it comes off as *******-y...I mean there are times I say things I shouldn't)
> 
> 2. my shyness and intimidation comes off as *****iness
> 
> I mean I lack self-awareness so i'm willing to learn how to change my behavior if I'm being too obnoxious...but it's also like, if my friends are fine with this (and they're cool people well-liked by a lot of people) why can't THEIR friends stand me?


you have just summed me up right here! I know it sucks makes me feel like ive done something wrong 
Makes me sad.


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## twistedlogic89

Sometimes shyness can come off as *****i-ness as you said. I've been there and it sucks. And then you feel afraid that if you be yourself right away, they'll think you're obnoxious or something. It's tough. 

There's another thing I've learned, as a person who has had trouble with friends all my life. Sometimes mutual friends are truly just jealous and insecure. Some people hate sharing their friends. This summer, I had planned a roadtrip with two now ex-friends and we were going to briefly stay with one of their closest friends on the way. Well, when said close friend got word, suddenly the trip became all about visiting him, and I ended up having my invitation to the trip rescinded. Even though I was the one who thought of the trip in the first place. I had never met or spoken with this person in my life. Just a case of BS friend jealousy.


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## Volens

Try not to let what other people think of you affect you.
If someone looks like they don't like you, it's their problem.
As long as you're not actually insulting people or making faces at them, there should be no reason to get bad reactions from people.


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## HanSolo

Volens said:


> Try not to let what other people think of you affect you.
> If someone looks like they don't like you, it's their problem.
> As long as you're not actually insulting people or making faces at them, there should be no reason to get bad reactions from people.


True but what about with beautiful girls.....admiring their beauty by just taking looks at them (I don't mean starring for hours, and I look at their face mostly anyways) often gets me bad reactions


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## HopefulDreamer

I get this reaction with other girls as well, and I don't know why. I would like to be able to have some girl friends, but they dislike me and I don't why. Honestly, other women cause me anxiety more than guys do. The prettier they are, the more insecure I feel. But then again, girls were my main torments in school so that could be why. Two beautiful girls butted in front of me today in line at Shoppers, and I felt too intimidated to say anything. That is actually something I'll usually stand up for myself about, believe it or not. However today I couldn't say a word at all. I just grabbed my phone and pretended to text. This has happened to me before at Tim Hortons, some guy got into line ahead of me and I glared at him and went ahead of him.


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## Monster123

More than one of my friends have said that they thought I didn't like them when we first met and used examples of some of the things I said etc.

To them I came across as rude even though I had no intention of doing. I am not rude at all but the anxiety can make me seem that way. My quick and short answers come across as ignorant unfortunately. It really does suck!

So yeah, it could be something to do with this. But in my experience genuine females can be hard to find as well :-/


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## DeeperUnderstanding

Girls can be really mean to other girls. I think you should just chalk it up to that.


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## ilovechocolate

I see what you mean, maybe they are more possesive.


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## doubtfulmiracle

HopefulDreamer said:


> I get this reaction with other girls as well, and I don't know why. I would like to be able to have some girl friends, but they dislike me and I don't why. Honestly, other women cause me anxiety more than guys do. The prettier they are, the more insecure I feel. But then again, girls were my main torments in school so that could be why. Two beautiful girls butted in front of me today in line at Shoppers, and I felt too intimidated to say anything. That is actually something I'll usually stand up for myself about, believe it or not. However today I couldn't say a word at all. I just grabbed my phone and pretended to text. This has happened to me before at Tim Hortons, some guy got into line ahead of me and I glared at him and went ahead of him.


Beautiful girls intimidate me too. Not the kind that are oblivious to the way they look, but the beautiful girls that groom themselves well. They make me insecure the second I get introduced to them, and I wonder if that shows on my face...but I do make the effort to smile and act normal so it shouldn't be this...
Like you said, I shouldn't feel insecure and judge them just because they're pretty, but it's learned behavior from middle school till now where these girls wouldn't give me the time of day because I wasn't "cool" enough. Except to make fun of me and my friends.


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## doubtfulmiracle

ilovechocolate said:


> I see what you mean, maybe they are more possesive.


That's true, when girls introduce their mutual girl friends, there's this twinge of jealousy where you wonder if your mutual friend is closer to the other girl.

However, this doesn't always happen, sometimes I quickly befriend the other girl...but I guess this is only when I don't feel intimidated/coldness from them.


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