# Extreme introversion



## Dan the man (Jul 4, 2013)

I guess its an effect of having SA in my case. Just not being comfortable around people kinda of makes me like this. I'm sure its made me misunderstood looking back more than I could think of. But, I've found people who have got to know me tend to like me. So if anyone else here is very introverted do you just accept what you are or have you made efforts in your life to try to be more of an extrovert?


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## Blue Wolf (Apr 23, 2013)

Normally when I make an attempt to be extroverted, I mostly end up looking like an idiot. So I've just came to accept it....


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## Boulder257 (May 9, 2013)

I just try to be me, warts and all. I figure that anyone who I am going to have a meaningful relationship with at some point (speaking of friends) are going to find out the real me anyway, so I am just myself. Sure, it limits the amount of people I may meet initially, but it always leads to more sincere relationships than superficial in the end.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

I pretty much accept it. I have no desire to socialize with people for the mere sake of socializing--that just exhausts me and makes me anxious and resentful (something my former therapist couldn't understand). If I'm socializing I want it to be with somebody I actually like being around and chattering with. Seeing as there's a distinct scarcity of such people, I'd rather just be alone. :/

People often try to guilt me for this ( "How do you expect to make friends if you don't give everyone a chance??--you should try socializing with all sorts of different people!" ) but it's just the way I am. I gain no benefit from socializing with people who are nothing like me. It makes me feel worse. :stu

I'm not meant to be an extrovert; I never have been.


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## wrongnumber (May 24, 2009)

It took me a long time to realise and come to terms with how introverted I am. I was content with infrequent socialising until I realised how abnormal it was. After that I felt like a freak and spent several years researching and considering whether my lack of social drive was a sign of schizophrenia / Schizoid PD / Schizotypal PD or Autism (and actually I do think I have traits of some of these conditions). When I finally had decent access to the internet and met others like me, I stopped feeling so freakish and isolated and I've found many of my social needs can be met online anyway. I currently have no desire to try to make my social life resemble a normal person's because I know I wouldn't like it. My ideal social life is spending time with only one or two other people, where we engage in a shared activity or our own separate hobbies and spend half the time ignoring each other. Then I like long breaks from them so I can have alone time and continue with other hobbies.


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## Ramondo (Feb 16, 2011)

wrongnumber said:


> It took me a long time to realise and come to terms with how introverted I am. I was content with infrequent socialising until I realised how abnormal it was. After that I felt like a freak and spent several years researching and considering whether my lack of social drive was a sign of schizophrenia / Schizoid PD / Schizotypal PD or Autism (and actually I do think I have traits of some of these conditions). When I finally had decent access to the internet and met others like me, I stopped feeling so freakish and isolated and I've found many of my social needs can be met online anyway. I currently have no desire to try to make my social life resemble a normal person's because I know I wouldn't like it. My ideal social life is spending time with only one or two other people, where we engage in a shared activity or our own separate hobbies and spend half the time ignoring each other. Then I like long breaks from them so I can have alone time and continue with other hobbies.


Me too, and it's really hard for us (introverts, SA sufferers) to find those people who want the same thing back. If I find a friend who is content to see me every few months, I value that. And contact to organise meeting is made via email, not phone.


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## jenkydora (Nov 11, 2003)

My daughter's high school has applied for funding for her, and under the diagnosis of extreme introversion, but she has aspergers but the government will not recognise that.
I am surprised her friends still have her around, because she will only answer questions or speak if asked something. She does alot of listening.


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## dine (Jul 16, 2013)

im nice to people and i try to socialize as much as i can.Despite my attempts im labelled as quiet by someone and i hate that ****


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## wrongnumber (May 24, 2009)

jenkydora said:


> and under the diagnosis of extreme introversion


Are you sure that is a diagnosis?


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## Lacking Serotonin (Nov 18, 2012)

I don't socialize much either. A lot of people like me because I usually just listen to what they have to say, but I have no plans on becoming more extroverted. Accept who you are and be happy with it. I don't think there's too many extroverted people wanting to be introverted.


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## jenkydora (Nov 11, 2003)

wrongnumber said:


> Are you sure that is a diagnosis?


Sorry for my slewing the words around. They re named her (the teachers) extreme introversion on the application, cause the government wasn't going with her real diagnosis of Aspergers, because she is a girl, and girls with Aspergers aren't throwing chairs through windows like most of the boys diagnosed with Aspergers are. But my daughter is extremely quiet.


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## minnie52 (Aug 30, 2013)

*Finally someone like me...*



wrongnumber said:


> It took me a long time to realise and come to terms with how introverted I am. I was content with infrequent socialising until I realised how abnormal it was. After that I felt like a freak and spent several years researching and considering whether my lack of social drive was a sign of schizophrenia / Schizoid PD / Schizotypal PD or Autism (and actually I do think I have traits of some of these conditions). When I finally had decent access to the internet and met others like me, I stopped feeling so freakish and isolated and I've found many of my social needs can be met online anyway. I currently have no desire to try to make my social life resemble a normal person's because I know I wouldn't like it. My ideal social life is spending time with only one or two other people, where we engage in a shared activity or our own separate hobbies and spend half the time ignoring each other. Then I like long breaks from them so I can have alone time and continue with other hobbies.


:clap I totally agree with what you have to say here and am very similar!


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## guitarmatt (Aug 13, 2009)

Like someone else said; sometimes I feel like an extrovert, but im pretty sure i sound like an idiot when I open my mouth.


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## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

I will pretend to be extroverted when I have to, like in a job interview, or doing work that involves interacting with the general public, particularly in sales positions, but it truly exhausts me and I really hate it. It's not just the act of socializing, although that is part of it. But being phony and saying things that I don't believe really drains me. I think it's the forced enthusiasm specifically. It's like an assault on my soul, or identity, or something...?


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## Mlochail (Jul 11, 2012)

Extraverted =/= easy time hermiting

So I'd rather not be extraverted ^.^


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## H51r2kPtST2o (Aug 6, 2013)

*Enjoy it.*

I've always enjoyed being an introvert.
Being an introvert has brought always great joy to my life.

My anxiety problems arose and arise when I have to deal with people.

In regard to people all I seek is casual interaction.

Because I love my wife, I wish to be more social. And participate on her extroverted life to the measure of my ability.

However, I do prefer a collected and solitary life.

I think introverts just want to have a contemplative, peaceful, enjoyable life. 
It's when we come in contact with others that we suffer APD, SAD, GAD, and all that.

Ours is a great responsibility: to observe the minute wonders of each instant in this fleeing life. We're good at that.

Extroverts are too busy mingling and missing the moment. They enrich themselves interacting with others.

For me, as an introvert, the experience of just existing is my greatest interaction. And it feels good.


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## H51r2kPtST2o (Aug 6, 2013)

*Similar*



guitarmatt said:


> Like someone else said; sometimes I feel like an extrovert, but im pretty sure i sound like an idiot when I open my mouth.


When I open my mouth, I always have the impression that the timing of what I say is wrong. That I refer to something when the others have moved past that thought into other thoughts. 
So my contribution is always greeted with an awkward silence followed immediately by something unrelated to what I'm saying. As if my contribution was not useful.

Many times, frankly, I just feel like Lt. Commander Data.


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## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

I tried to force myself to be extroverted when I was much younger and I only ended up embarasssing myself. I'm a hardcore introvert and that's what I always was.


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## anomnomnom (May 28, 2013)

tehuti88 said:


> I pretty much accept it. I have no desire to socialize with people for the mere sake of socializing--that just exhausts me and makes me anxious and resentful (something my former therapist couldn't understand). If I'm socializing I want it to be with somebody I actually like being around and chattering with. Seeing as there's a distinct scarcity of such people, I'd rather just be alone. :/


This!

I have no problem being an introvert, all the problems I have, being an introvert certainly isn't one. I've always been the hermit/indoors type for as long as I remember so I don't think my SA had anything to do with it. Suppose it helps being an introvert as I don't really crave the social interaction that I'm clearly lacking, Not going out socially for months at a time probably drives extroverts insane, It's Very rare it bothers me


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## H51r2kPtST2o (Aug 6, 2013)

anomnomnom said:


> This!
> 
> I have no problem being an introvert, all the problems I have, being an introvert certainly isn't one. I've always been the hermit/indoors type for as long as I remember so I don't think my SA had anything to do with it. Suppose it helps being an introvert as I don't really crave the social interaction that I'm clearly lacking, Not going out socially for months at a time probably drives extroverts insane, It's Very rare it bothers me


I am like you. Like to be home. And can be by myself for long periods enjoying every minute of it.

My wife is an extrovert. She goes everywhere. And lets me be home. She even does errands for me because I prefer to stay home.
Recently I went back home to Spain for a week. 
On my way back she was waiting for me at the airport. Crying. She told me she missed me so much!
The thing is that I'm always home. The house without me is not the same.

Also, I did learn a sweet trick from my dogs which passed away years ago.
It's quite effective.
When she comes home, I stop whatever I'm doing and rush down to greet her. Consistently. Persistently. Stubbornly.

I can't imagine how hard must had been for an extrovert like her to come to an empty home for a whole week.


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## TheMail (Aug 13, 2013)

I fake extroversion nearly 24/7, but on the inside my introversion is absolutely overwhelming


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## Think2Much (May 2, 2010)

I still often try to fake extroversion though it is exhausting. Sometimes I'm fine with being really introverted, but when my anxiety gets real bad I start feeling guilty. Just haven't gotten to a place where I feel comfortable in my introversion.


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## invisiblegirl82 (Sep 10, 2013)

I think if I didn't have to work I would be quite happy with being an introvert but I find this is almost impossible for my job. All jobs have some level of interaction and most managers/companies seem to want extrovert/bubbly people!


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## Lorna (Aug 28, 2013)

Just an idea - you will need to have a car but a good way to help you get over this is to drive to a busy street somewhere where you don't know anyone, get out of the car, shout something completely crazy and make yourself look like a nutcase for a few seconds, then get back in your car and drive off. Everyone will stare, everyone will think you are an idiot, but it doesn't matter! And is actually quite funny! It does no harm at all and helps you to realise that you can reeeally embarrass yourself but still be in control of the situation because you have decided to embarrass yourself, and there are no repercussions. It is liberating. I probably sound like an idiot for suggesting this but I think it really works!


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## twistix (Sep 8, 2013)

I was involved in a film project in university. I spent a day at a remote part of the campus watching films with just 3 other people. It wasn't much of a social event but it was enough to leave me exhausted and irritable by the end. I can manage but i can't relax around others. The more people there are and the longer I spend around them the more overstimulating it is and the more passive I become. Its physically and emotionally draining. 

My understanding is that introverts need time to themselves to process and energize. Extroverts get energy from interacting with others. I can't become extroverted, but I can and hope to improve my ability to spend time with other people. I will still need times to myself to recover and process after socializing though.


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## SmokeGem (Mar 19, 2013)

Tell me how you fake extroversion. I'd like to know how.


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## guitarmatt (Aug 13, 2009)

I think I'm actually somewhat of an extrovert.I get extremely depressed and angry because I'm alone all the time. I don't know if its just depression or that I am meant to be an extrovert, but I can no longer enjoy being on my own like I used to.


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## SmokeGem (Mar 19, 2013)

I was serious about what I said. PM me.


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## Orgone (Aug 19, 2013)

When I was four years old, I was an extrovert. Now, like fifteen years later, I have been an introvert since. My life has sucked ever since I got out of preschool. No joke, I just feel like my veins are thinning when I'm not considered by someone else.


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## Mariette (Sep 12, 2013)

tehuti88 said:


> People often try to guilt me for this ( "How do you expect to make friends if you don't give everyone a chance??--you should try socializing with all sorts of different people!" ) but it's just the way I am. I gain no benefit from socializing with people who are nothing like me. It makes me feel worse. :stu


Baah, I hate when people do that guilt thing! :no I'm an intense introvert and I don't think there's anything wrong with it... Sure, part of my lack of socialising is due to anxiety, but a larger part is simply because I am an introvert - and just like you, I'm picky and rather choose to spend time with those precious few who actually make me feel somewhat comfortable in my own skin. :tiptoe

The next time when someone is rude to you (and trying to guilt you!) because of your introversion, just use this how to deal with rude people graph - only replace "excess sweat" and "Hyperhidrosis" with Introversion.:teeth
Anyway, introverts are awesome! (Those few friends I have are ALL introverts... must be the reason why we get along. )


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## Reprise (Nov 4, 2012)

im an extreme introvert, i think were a rare breed, what freaks me out is that as i've gotten older, its slowly becoming more difficult to socialise like i used to, seems like im getting more and more consumed with my own thoughts, which is very unsettling..


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## DaydreamBeliever10 (Feb 12, 2012)

twistix said:


> I was involved in a film project in university. I spent a day at a remote part of the campus watching films with just 3 other people. It wasn't much of a social event but it was enough to leave me exhausted and irritable by the end. I can manage but i can't relax around others. The more people there are and the longer I spend around them the more overstimulating it is and the more passive I become. Its physically and emotionally draining.
> 
> My understanding is that introverts need time to themselves to process and energize. Extroverts get energy from interacting with others. I can't become extroverted, but I can and hope to improve my ability to spend time with other people. I will still need times to myself to recover and process after socializing though.


This is me, I can't relax around anyone and it explains why I often get so tired and irritable after being around people. As much as I crave human contact and do feel a little better after spending time with a good friend I then need to be on my own. I love being on my own and if I "socialize" too often I don't cope, I need a break, I need time on my own.

I like your thinking on introverts, I definitely need time to process and the energize otherwise my anxiety becomes unmanageable and I get really down. My family don't get my need to be on my own so much, I love having time to myself, I NEED time to myself and they don't get that. Then they wonder why I'm in such a bad way when I don't get that time to process things and recover. It really messes me up.


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## SmokeGem (Mar 19, 2013)

Real title: Extreme Bull****


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## relentlessfighter (Aug 25, 2013)

I have been an introvert since I was a child. Back then, I was okay with it. Good in studies, sports etc. But as I grew up, so did ppl and well, in the "other" way. The pressure to fit in society and especially in my region, where men are supposed to be outgoing; sort of patriarchal society. Over the years, it lay the foundation for social anxiety for being singled out for speaking less; many believing I had girly traits. 

And today, ppl label me as innocent, quiet, humble etc. which I hate. many say tat introverts have their own plus points, yes but mainly for those who have had a normal history and do not suffer from SAD. For a person with social anxiety and hyper sensitivity, being an introvert is nothing less than a curse. And when i try to act like an extrovert or say more, i Blabber and embarrass myself. Sigh!


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