# To the Single people



## amene (Mar 28, 2010)

Why are you single?

For me well..I basically hate myself. I think I'm a fat ugly weird socially awkward ****.


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

I don't know, never really tried.
Unemployed, socially awkward, unattractive and I'm a loser are the possible contributing factors.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

I can wax poetic all day about my perceived flaws being the reason, but I know that's not it. The true reason is I am not confident enough at this moment and lack the self esteem to put forth a solid effort in finding someone, and keeping a healthy relationship. 

I cannot move on from prior failed past events and focus on new opportunities in the future. I am unsure the answer to solve these negative thoughts, but I just feel like I'm stuck behind a concrete wall from the world. I've tried so hard to move on, but after a while it becomes discouraging.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

I can't approach girls, hold a decent conversation with them, or get any to show interest in me. Plus I have no friends, and have only had a small number of them throughout my life, so I can't meet girls through them. That's a recipe for 27 years of loneliness.


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## Oscar7 (May 20, 2011)

I have no idea, haha. I just haven't met the right person at the right time. =/


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## shortnsilent (May 30, 2011)

i havent found that person who im willing to open up to


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## Perkins (Dec 14, 2010)

Besides my having SA and being a social hermit, I have no interest in da -- well, I just haven't met anyone who makes me think about dating. Unfortunately, just about most of the men I encounter are less than stellar. That and I feel working on myself and getting my act together is more important than my social status. Perhaps I will change my tune some time from now. Maybe, maybe not.

Truth is I'm single and I'm okay with being single for the time being.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Because I am too picky and probably am not worthy enough for others as well, regardless of how I feel about myself, which isn't bad. Half of it is my fault and the other half I cannot control.


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## General Shy Guy (May 12, 2011)

My SA prevents me from getting out there. I'm confident in my looks, but not confident on the inside. I'm constantly worrying about people judging me and can't really relax.

Plus, I'm a little picky. When I find a girl I'm interested in, she always seems to be taken. And I'm not a homewrecker.

Overall, I'm okay with being single. I just got out of a 5-year relationship. I'm not necessarily looking for anything serious.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Lack of self confidence and fear of rejection.


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## SOME (Jul 13, 2009)

It's hard for me to develop feelings for people. Also I don't think any girl would like me in that way.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

amene said:


> Why are you single?


Until recently I was single.

The reason was that I never asked anybody out and nobody else ever asked me out. Simple as that.

As to why I didn't ask anyone out, I have excessive pride and I don't like asking people for things. Like, really really don't like asking people for things. Don't like it so much that I stayed celibate for more than a decade than ask someone out. :blank


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

Because I'm afraid of talking to people or getting involved in the kind of social stuff that could lead to friends or girlfriends. I'm afraid because people are really stressful and hard to deal with, and I can't say why they are or if there's a reason.


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## papaSmurf (Jun 16, 2008)

Self-loathing, crippling fear of rejection.


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## Fantas Eyes (Mar 23, 2011)

Never been asked out and never asked anybody out, fear of rejection, too picky...


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## rctriplefresh5 (Aug 24, 2009)

girls aren't attracted to me...im also too tense to dance wildly at raves...and i dont drink which doesnt help


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## Lateralus (Oct 28, 2007)

I am nervous as hell around girls, espcially if I can tell they are interested because then it feels like I'm being judged, which is a huge anxiety trigger.


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## Charizard (Feb 16, 2011)

I'm not single, but I used to be (duh). I lacked confidence, and I hadn't met the right girl for my personality.


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## King Moonracer (Oct 12, 2010)

I really dont want a girlfriend. I have kind of a smart/eccebtric peraonality, along with SA, so finding the right person would be tough.


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

-Lack of confidence
-Low self esteem
-Fear of rejection
-Poor social skills
-Too picky
-Anti-social


Pretty much the perfect combination for mega fail in the dating world....


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## woot (Aug 7, 2009)

Dumped!


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## wmw87 (Apr 20, 2011)

no longer interested in forming close relationships with people


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## zomgz (Aug 17, 2009)

Mostly because I refuse to have a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. I want to meet the right person and honestly, I've somewhat given up looking for now... I think when the time comes I'll know, may as well not stress over it until then right?


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

I'm embarrassed of dating because I'm uncomfortable with the idea of my parents finding out that I like someone since I still live at home. I also have a serious problem with my parents trying to impose their religious beliefs on me, which contributes to that. I have no life and I'm sure it would be difficult to explain to a potential partner as to *why* I choose to isolate myself in such a way.


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## watashi (Feb 6, 2008)

I'm awfully shy (more than people have patience for) and I need a lot of time to open up to them. I have no experience, so even if I manage to get someone's attention, I don't know what to do with it. I don't go out much and I live in a crappy location, so when I try to look for girls online I barely find any that are not straight and avaliable.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Although I'm actually quite a good conversationalist, my interactions are far to sporadic. Sometimes I can push through the pain barrier and be quite social. Other times I'm distant (read crippled with anxiety) 

This leads to me being frequently misconstrued and needless to say I find it near impossible to reciprocate interest.

My problems with eye contact also do not help matters :b


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## rainbowOne (Sep 26, 2010)

I'm single cos nobody's asked me out, apart from someone once on facebook, that was awkward. :lol:


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## NaturalLogOfZero (Sep 29, 2010)

-poor self image/confidence
-inability to have a conversation
-idealization (building up the girls I have crushes on to unfair standards)
-fear of rejection/failure/causing pain
-fear of intimacy
-ADD (too lazy/apathetic to really try)
-Crippling fear of drinking

It all stems from being afraid that I'm a lot like my father. I don't want to put someone through what he put my mom through...


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## Katatonic (Jun 13, 2011)

I'm single because I choose to be, and I all the more happier because of it. 

I've been in enough relationships and the last one I was in just made me want to forget about dating all together. Its a long story and I'm not going to bother writing it all here. 

Perks to being single? I'm not being dragged to places I don't want to go, spending money I don't want to spend, and meeting people I don't want to meet. I have more money in my pocket for the things I want or to buy the essential things I need. I can do whatever I like with my time. I have more freedom. The only person I need to worry about is myself. 

And most importantly: I don't have to listen to someone elses crappy music while I drive.


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## kagiand (May 18, 2011)

Katatonic said:


> And most importantly: I don't have to listen to someone elses crappy music while I drive.


i love this answer.


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## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

I would call myself cute. I have people interested in me as a constant. Perhaps personalities don't click and such. Also I do not go out places to socialize much and when I do I probably give off an anxious vibe that turns off the guys. And lastly I just do not mind being single I could care less either way until somebody takes my heart beyond infatuation.


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## Vip3r (Dec 7, 2010)

Ospi said:


> Lack of self confidence and fear of rejection.


^ This.


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## Raulz0r (Jun 4, 2011)

I am single because I am too afraid to go into a conversation with "stranger" girls so to speak, I am really nervous in engaging conversation with people I've never really met.


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## giantkiller (Feb 20, 2011)

Lack of confidence and fear of what they'll think when they find out how awkward I am socially. 

Every girl I tend to meet happens to be extremely social and outgoing. The type that has so many friends and is always out drinking or doing something social. I'm not like that. I'm a quiet guy with just a few friends, none really close. I go out to clubs, bars, and stuff on average once a month, but spend most of my time working out/playing sports, watching TV, Sports, and generally just chilling out doing not much.

In a nutshell, I feel I'll bore them. Or that they'll think I'm weird because I'm not that social.


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## papaSmurf (Jun 16, 2008)

Katatonic said:


> And most importantly: I don't have to listen to someone elses crappy music while I drive.


Hahaha, this is a totally valid point. My car is really the only place I feel comfortable singing, so I start to get pretty down when a bunch of unsingable albums and mixes work their way into my glove compartment.


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## FitchForce (Jan 3, 2011)

Honestly, I don't feel like I'm ready for a relationship. I'm choosing not to jump into something with someone, just to say that I'm not single. I want to finish college, land a job, then start the dating thing.


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## ImWeird (Apr 26, 2010)




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## sas111 (Oct 20, 2010)

Charizard said:


> I'm not single, but I used to be (duh). I lacked confidence, and *I hadn't met the right girl for my personality*.


Same reason, that along with low self-esteem, SA, & not searching in the right places.


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

At the moment I lack the consistency of confidence required to stay in the moment and attract prospective girls. Or at least I think I do and this makes it so. Also bars make me nervous and this doesn't help..

**** you social anxiety!


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

Have yet to find someone as unattractive as I am


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## Lachlan (Jul 3, 2008)

not really actively looking, and dont meet enough people in the normal course of my life so that it would happen naturally


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

I'm ****, plain and simple, even this self indulgence is pointless and I'm only doing it to gratify myself. ****


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## jayjaythejetplane (May 13, 2011)

Extreme lack of confidence. You don't really realise how big a factor it is until you lose it.


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## Sophomore (Sep 19, 2010)

Lack of confidence, anxiety, too lazy to make the effort to maintain such a relationship, etc...


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## Brightpaperwarewolf (Oct 16, 2008)

I looked in the mirror today. All I saw was this disgusting person. If that's how I see myself, I can't expect anyone else to see me the same way.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I have not had the courage to ask anyone out. Yeah, that bad.


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## AK32 (Sep 2, 2010)

I think I'm still single b/c I'm afraid of being in a realationship even though I really want one. It's confusing.


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## luctus (Mar 31, 2011)

Because I barricade myself indoors. Oh, and I don't really know if I want anyone right now.

It's really starting to bug me, because there's someone in my life I've been gradually getting more and more intimate with, and it's wrecking havoc with my single-hood...but I might not miss being alone too much...heh.

But, yeah, i've been single up to this point because I'd only talk to him...and we were both painfully hesitant and shy about our feelings for almost a year. It's just been recently that this is happening.


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## polardude18 (Oct 13, 2009)

I have never tried to date nor have I ever had a guy approach me before, I never seem to attract any guys at all. Being overly quiet and away from people I am sure is not doing me any good either.


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## MissElley (May 15, 2011)

Waiting for "Mr.Right" to show up.


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## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

I could spectulate but I don't know.


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## Annie K (Sep 24, 2008)

I'm too shy, insecure, socially awkward, and ugly. Guys don't like me.


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## Zephton (Jun 15, 2011)

Three reasons

1. I have to clue how to find girls with similar nerdy interests to me that aren't taken.

2. I am terrible with confidence and such, which is what I think I need since I'm -decently- attractive

3. I get absorbed in my obsession with anime girls often, which I know is pathetic, but it helps me to escape from my loneliness. In the end though it leaves me more depressed because I know they simply are not real


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## Quazimoto (Jun 15, 2011)

not a real gem said:


> no one wants me


I think you're cute. And I like your hats too. Just thought I'd throw that out there. 



Annie K said:


> I'm too shy, insecure, socially awkward, and ugly. Guys don't like me.


You know (and I'm sure this makes me pretty weird in most people's books), I'd actually prefer a girl who's shy, socially awkward, and at least a bit insecure/neurotic/clingy/etc... They're more interesting.

As for why I'm single (and not exactly a fan of it, but would rather be single than in a bad relationship just so I could say I'm in a relationship)...

- Social Anxiety Leading To Being Broke/Unemployed/Living With Parents
- The fact that I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs (seems to be a big problem with being like that in my area of the world).
- Not exactly Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp in the looks department (more like a cross between Buddha and Uncle Fester from The Addams Family)
- People seem to think I'm gay (not that there's anythng wrong with that at all) because I paint my nails and read romance novels
- The fact that I'm turned off by most tattoos and piercings on women (just generally speaking, not in every case)
- Too honest/nice/kind for my own good at times
- And overall just don't seem to be appealing to women of the modern age


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## Genetic Garbage (May 7, 2011)

- no self-confidence
- shy, awkward loser
- inferiority complex
- self-hatred
- paranoia


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## Nefury (May 9, 2011)

Might be something to do with the fact I never leave the house, or it could be a number of other things. I'm sure the right person will come along eventually.


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## Hamtown (Jun 10, 2010)

- I need to get out more,talk to girls and feel more comfortable, get my skills up,remove doubts and beliefs.You know, anxiety.When i'm ready for it i will go for it, even if i didn't have SA i would not go jumping into a relationship for some selfish insecurity

- Being single has its benefits, and being a couple has its benefits so i'm going to enjoy what i have now.

Its alien too me.Honestly i think i would love it but i'm not pining for it either, thats where drama kicks in.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

amene said:


> Why are you single?


 Because I want to be.

It used to be because I was too shy and quiet to talk to females and almost none of them showed the slightest interest in me anyway. For awhile I was lonely and bitter and angry and thought it was torture being single. Then I got used to it and realized I had nothing to offer anyway and would never be worth anything to anyone. In that way, I came to understand why females never wanted anything to do with me. I could have tried to hide my flaws and weaknesses long enough to maybe meet someone and get married but the whole facade would have come down very soon.

I began to understand that I enjoy life by myself and couldn't imagine someone pestering me all the time about various things and everything. And finally, there was acceptance. I have nothing to offer but there is nothing I want.


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## intheshadows (Apr 5, 2011)

I'm probably the only here with weird fetishes....


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## t89greg (Jun 13, 2011)

Because I am one of the mostly socially awkward people alive. Girls never really showed any interest in me through out school or into adulthood and I could never approach one.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

Nobody approached me, & I feared rejection.

I'm workin' on it though.


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## dontdreamitbeit (Jun 7, 2011)

I suck at relationships. As soon as a guy starts to make plans with me, for example...meeting his parents or going away for the weekend.....I panic and bail. However, I know if my best friend showed any romantic interest in me at all, I'd be over the freaking moon. Weird.


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## mike285 (Aug 21, 2010)

I'm too self-conscious and lack confidence. I can be distant and don't really let people get too close/know too much about myself for fear of judgement and rejection. I'm also socially awkward and can't hold a conversation for that long. I have a few friends, but only hang out with them occasionally. I drink, but I can't dance.


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## StevenGlansberg (Apr 1, 2009)

Because I'm a ****ing idiot.


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## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

I'm single because of my weight and I cant talk to guys in public. sometimes guys scare me, so i dont open up to them.


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## tutliputli (Feb 22, 2009)

Lack of opportunities to meet potential partners
I don't get approached
Lack of confidence
I have too many issues and insecurities
I'm unstable
I have no idea if/when someone's interested in me unless they're really obvious about it.

I am craving a relationship but I really don't think I'm in any fit state. It sucks.


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

I'm still working on confidence. It could take a while.


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## artandis (Jun 5, 2011)

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> I'm single because of my weight and I cant talk to guys in public. sometimes guys scare me, so i dont open up to them.


This ^


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

intheshadows said:


> I'm probably the only here with weird fetishes....


*emphatically* NO!


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## btryan (Jun 3, 2011)

I have very limited social circle and I just don't know a place to find a girl to share my thought. I share few common interests with all the people I know.


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## Rocklee96 (Mar 31, 2011)

Because it's damn near impossible for me to start a conversation with a girl.


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## Hot Chocolate (Sep 29, 2008)

I am single because ppl usually dislike me at first sigh especially guys nowadays. They all want the hot girls.


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## luffy (Jun 2, 2011)

Hot Chocolate said:


> I am single because ppl usually dislike me at first sigh especially guys nowadays. They all want the hot girls.


I think you're pretty hot, Angelina.


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## IsThereAComputerOption (Apr 15, 2011)

Girls don't like the same things as me. And I get bored easily.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

luffy said:


> I think you're pretty hot, Angelina.


Why, thank you.


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## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

Haven't bothered to search for someone to start a relationship with. 

But in the past, when I did like someone, I would be to shy to approach him. I can also be socially awkward.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

This thread needs some Beyonce Single Ladies real bad.


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## ImWeird (Apr 26, 2010)

ImWeird said:


>





Perfectionist said:


> This thread needs some Beyonce Single Ladies real bad.


Already happened man.


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## sas111 (Oct 20, 2010)

intheshadows said:


> I'm probably the only here with weird fetishes....


No way, I can guarantee mines is weirder than yours. >.< :um


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

ImWeird said:


> Already happened man.


Andy and Justin's smooth legs just once wasn't enough.


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## purplefruit (Jan 11, 2011)

it is probably because i hate myself too. i have absolutely no self esteem. and guys can probably sense that, so i have never been asked out, and due to my self esteem (and my strange personal issue of not developing strong romantic feelings toward many guys in life, but that's another story) i have never asked anyone out.


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## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

I got a few stupid reasons:
- low self-esteem
- hardly ever ask a girl out (probably done it like 5 times in my life)
- no friends
- embarrassed about income/job/living with mom


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## Onomatopoeia (May 27, 2011)

My fear of rejection seems to outweigh my fear of regret, I guess? ...and I am still recovering from a break-up


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## GuyMontag (Dec 12, 2010)

-low confidence
-i've never approached a girl, or been approached by one
-i don't go out a lot


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## ImWeird (Apr 26, 2010)




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## jkquatre (May 30, 2011)

Eliza said:


> it is probably because i hate myself too. i have absolutely no self esteem. and guys can probably sense that, so i have never been asked out, and due to my self esteem (and my strange personal issue of not developing strong romantic feelings toward many guys in life, but that's another story) i have never asked anyone out.


Guys can't read your mind. Most of the time "I have low self esteem" looks like "I don't like you". Especially to guys, some guys are 'nice' or 'shy' and don't want to bother girls who seem distant.

Conduct this thought experiment. Think about your -actions- when your near a guy you like. Now switch positions and try to think about how you would interpret the person who -acted- like you. I think most of the time that's just what happens.


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## fonz (Oct 15, 2008)

Too many reasons to list


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## moxosis (Aug 26, 2009)

Lack of confidence, self esteem and ability to connect with people, and because of anxiety I am turned off by people.


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## crystaltears (Mar 10, 2011)

I have no friends. People ignore me


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## Hot Chocolate (Sep 29, 2008)

Monroee said:


> Why, thank you.


:haha :haha


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## Makaveli (Jul 15, 2009)

Not in the right space right now. Have been able to pick up and date and eventually relationships when I was working and basically had a life in years past. I know once that is in order then it'll likely eventuate. 

Meh, it's not my main worries but the passage of time and the effect SA and depression have had on my quality of life is without question.


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## penguin runner (Apr 28, 2010)

Before I was just too afraid to get in a relationship due to :
- self-confidence = nil
- self-hate = high
- didn't think others would want to be kind to me without expecting something in return
- if things were to go well, afraid of the eventual break-up as most relationships don't last too long
- too quiet to say if something was bothering me

It was weird that I had wanted a relationship more than anything in life. But I knew it wouldn't be a healthy relationship based on where I was at. Even if someone I liked asked me out I'd decline for fear of what would happen in the future.

Now I'd say I'm at a much better place personally and ready for a relationship. It's funny that I always thought the first thing I'd do when feeling even a little better was try to get into a relationship, but it's like the furthest from my mind now.


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## SPLEE1107 (Jun 22, 2011)

I just don't know anyone who isn't taken, or isn't insufferable. I wait for opportunities to arrise instead of searching out new ones I guess. That is probably the biggest reason.

Though I'm starting to think I am incapable of loving anyone to be honest. I don't think I have ever 'missed' someone in my entire life.:|


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## rockyraccoon (Dec 13, 2010)

I have always been single because I lack confidence, I blush so easy because I'm too shy, and because of my severe introverted, taciturn personality. I suppose I fear rejection to because I have always wanted to experience love, and I know it would hurt to lose that love. But I am also single because of a fear of acceptance. If I am accepted by a girl then I will be in a state of constant socialization, which is what I fear. What if I can't find anything meaningful to say, what if I have to meet her friends, what if I have to meet her family, the list goes on and on...


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

Several reasons:

My job doesn't expose me to people my age. 

Put most of my energy into school and my career. 

Haven't made an effort.


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## NobodysPerfect (May 22, 2011)

I'm single because I lack the ability to develop normal healthy attachments. I constantly isolate myself and will shut myself away without explaining to my boyfriend's in the past why I do it or that i'm going to be doing it. It's confusing and unfair for them, so morally i'm not sure I think it's fair for me to date someone when I'm the way I am. I seem content on the surface in relationships but i'm terrified of hurting them so I keep them at a distance to protect myself and them. I'm not sure how I think i'm going to hurt them as I don't fear commitment or anything like that but I tend to feel smoothered easy. I think this is purely due to shutting myself away from people and developing coping mechanisms relating to isolating myself as a means of coping with my depression and issues relating to lack of self worth. The main problem is partners never see this insecure side of me and I do seem genuinely happy, content and self assured until I go off and isolate myself without saying a word. 

I want to date and find a steady relationship but i'm not sure that's feasible right now or the right thing to do so instead I push people away, whether I like them in that sense of not. I really want to get married eventually one day and have kids so really hope I can sort myself out in the next few years!


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## amene (Mar 28, 2010)

A lot of us are on the same page..

Another reason I forgot to mention is I have before gone with guys just because. I liked other guys, but that wasn't gonna happen and it's still this way now and sucks. I don't think I'm picky, I'm not gonna fate someone because I'm lonely or I find that persona annoying or just not attracted too. I've been attracted to plenty of guys, buy my mouth is shut..


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## Emanresu (Jun 2, 2010)

I'm lack the amount of empathy needed for a successful relationship.


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## joe11 (Jan 22, 2011)

Because I can never approach people for anything never mind to ask someone out and a girl has never asked me out, never even had a female friend.


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## tommo1234 (Apr 20, 2011)

idk maybe im too quiet to get girls (haha)


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## RetroDoll (Jun 25, 2011)

sure there are other reasons: but but first it was involuntary then it was voluntary now it's moot b/c I'm no longer trying anyways.


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## Shannanigans (Feb 27, 2011)

I'm single because: whenever a guy looks at me I turn around, ignore him, and head in the opposite direction

not the best way to meet someone lol


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## Oscar7 (May 20, 2011)

I don't know if I've posted in here, but it feels like I have....

Anyways, it's kind of hard to know. Maybe it's because I'm an introvert and thus don't go out as much or my SA hurts me from getting myself out there, though I really don't think it's because of my SA. Maybe I just haven't met the right person....


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

because all the good looking good girls are taken


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## River In The Mountain (Jun 6, 2011)

I'm too much hard work. 
I'm sure it gets tiring.
Picky as hell too.


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## Hallucinating Zebra (Jul 4, 2011)

...


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## JanaNanner (Jul 20, 2011)

There are a lot of reasons that I am single. It's a combination of all them. First, I don't think most men are attracted to me and I'm completely oblivious even when they are. A man would pretty much have to kiss me before it would occur to me that he might be interested, haha. And even then I might still wonder. I also don't go to many places where I might meet men, other than church... and they're all already married. And even when I do meet interested single men, I become a bit too mute to hold their interest long. Haha. So... yeah, I'm probably going to have a whole lot of cats someday. I'll be the scary old cat lady that people only see in shadows and hunched-over silhouettes through the window sometimes.


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

I have a low tolerance for bull**** and am not very patient. Of course, my reaction to another person might make me more tolerant. Also, Im tired of giving another person the power to break my heart. Itd take nothing short of a miracle for me to get into a relationship again.


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## kilgoretrout (Jul 20, 2011)

I'm very socially awkward and have a poor self-image. Plus I don't really have any opportunities to meet guys (no friends, no job, no school). There are a whole host of other reasons but the ones I mentioned are the gist of it.


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## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

I'm a nerd who can't talk to girls.


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## Karuni (Jun 26, 2011)

I have issues starting conversations with ANYONE, let alone guys. However, my anxiety is a lot worse when it's a guy around my age. I just can't talk to them.

I'm not approached by guys either because I'm very lazy about my appearance, and I don't seem very approachable to anyone anyway.

I'm also just completely oblivious to how other people act. A guy could very obviously flirt with me, and I won't even notice or take it as being immature/annoying and walk off. =/


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## orchidsandviolins (Jul 8, 2011)

I tend to push people away because I'm hesitant to open up to people. I'm insecure, introverted.
In a nutshell.


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## hickorysmoked (Mar 7, 2010)

orchidsandviolins said:


> I tend to push people away because I'm hesitant to open up to people. I'm insecure, introverted.
> In a nutshell.


 This exactly, except for the introverted part.


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## Paragon (Apr 13, 2010)

Because i don't have a particularly brilliant social life, i'm a pretty average guy, and i'm not at all charming or suave. More awkward and weird. I very sporadically actually put any effort into trying to meet girls. Maybe something happens once every six months, then i get fed up and stop trying again.



valid and not in use said:


> I recently told someone that I had never had a proper boyfriend and they burst out laughing and said 'YEAH RIGHT' thinking I was joking. I just sort of laughed and didn't correct them but ever since I'm even more wary of relationships, as I would have to tell who ever I was with my (lack of) history. When I was at school a guy said to me 'you're pretty, but crazy. I mean... I would go out with you.. maybe if you didn't talk.' He was half joking but still! I swear sometimes I think I'm autistic... :blank


Aww  Crazy can be good! As long as it isn't the stalking/murdering type of crazy. That's not so good.


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## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

Fear of rejection, low self esteem, fear of being close to people, and several other boring things already mentioned. Mainly it's because I haven't tried due to said issues, so i can't expect to get anyone if I don't try.


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## JFmtl (Dec 23, 2008)

there are many reasons why i'm single... low self-esteem, huge lack of social skills, anxiety, dull personality, fear of rejection, lack of opportunities, etc.


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## bw19879 (Jul 26, 2011)

I think the the main problem for me is my insecurity and anxiety shows when I am out. I get really nervous and anxious when I am in bars etc.. I just feel like people don't like me and are judging me. I ain't been in a relationship for two years not even a date this is since I started suffering from depression and anxiety. Prior to the anxiety I had never had a problem I can't remember not being involved with someone since I left school then anxiety hit 2 years ago and not a thing. I would like a girl friend think having a bit of support would really help with my anxiety issues.

Regards Ben


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## presence (Jul 27, 2011)

single and too awkward to mingle
i don't have enough self confidence and i don't put myself out there to meet anyone


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## Elleire (Jul 24, 2011)

There are almost too many reasons to list. 

The most obvious one is that I am fat -- obese, actually. 

And even if I managed to lose all this weight, I'll then have to deal with loose skin and stretch marks until I can afford plastic surgery to fix it. I could not be with someone when my stomach looks like an interstate road map. :no

Unfortunately, nothing can be done about my face. 

EVEN IF I were to miraculously lose all this weight, get enough money to pay for surgery, and somehow had a nice face, there is still the fact that I'm boring, awkward, and just too damned insecure. If I somehow managed not to scare someone away immediately, there is still the problem of keeping him/her interested, which is just not going to happen. And soon enough, s/he'd find out that I have no friends and don't do anything at all, find that a little suspicious or just strange, and leave. Or, if not, I'd freak out and end up leaving before s/he could. Either way, it's not going to work. The end. 

I've pretty much accepted the fact that there is a very good chance I will remain single for the rest of my life. Which is okay, I can live with that -- I really just want a friend.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

InfiniteBlaze said:


> I'm a nerd who can't talk to girls.


This is my reason as well.


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## ctrlaltdelete (May 13, 2010)

The prospect of acquiring the dreaded cooties is terrifying to say the least.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

Though I still cling to the hope of falling deeply in love and having that reciprocated, at this point in my life I think it's imperative that I strive for self-actualization (Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs) and not look to anyone else for aid, as I have done in the past with disastrous results.


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## JS13 (Jul 21, 2011)

I've been single my whole life and I don't complain. I've been steady before, but no relationships. I'll just wait for that good girl....


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## AK32 (Sep 2, 2010)

I guess I would say I have a fear of intimacy, the desire to be with another person is there however actually doing it terrifies me.


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## DazdNConfuzd (Jul 11, 2011)

I don't have any female friends so the only interaction I have is in bars and clubs, which usually doesn't go too well either cause of good old SA!  Add in alcohol and loud music and I just couldn't see myself ever meeting someone on a night out. People say these things can't be planned and that you will eventually meet someone. Maybe I'm just a cynic but I find that hard to believe. Hopefully things change.


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## Hello22 (Feb 10, 2010)

I'm starting to accept that i have a fear of intimacy. Physical and emotional. I just can't do it anymore.

I also find it extremely hard to trust anyone, and i'm always fear of getting hurt (yet again)


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## Steve123 (Sep 13, 2009)

I'm not gay. Seriously, long story but it appears the only people who have expressed any interest in me in years have all been gay and bisexual men. Not sure why.


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## IllusionOfHappiness (Sep 6, 2007)

Personal preference.


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## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

Because I'm physically unattractive and severely lack social skills. It's really a layer of reasons where even if I peeled one or two off somehow, five more would still be in my way. And as I learned in my one and only relationship, _getting_ a girl is just the beginning; the stress and pressure to perform and be interesting only gets worse from there.

EDIT: Just saw Steve's post; I also have received signs of interest from several gay men :lol. I think I'd make a good twink if I were gay. Pity, really.


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## Colton (Jun 27, 2011)

Unemployed, uninteresting, shy, ugly, skinny loser.


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## Steve123 (Sep 13, 2009)

anomalous said:


> EDIT: Just saw Steve's post; I also have received signs of interest from several gay men :lol. I think I'd make a good twink if I were gay. Pity, really.


Really is a pity right? A lot of those guys were really nice. I would have totally dated them if they didn't have the same gear as me :b


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## Dane (Jul 27, 2009)

Because I would only be interested in someone who matched me _very_ well, and it takes so long to get to know people that the chances of my stumbling across such a girl in my lifetime are extremely low.


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## Mae West (Sep 15, 2005)

My bf and I broke up recently and I haven't been going out of my way to meet single men.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

havent got around to it yet, but im working on it ^_^


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## RetroDoll (Jun 25, 2011)

some people are sexual misfits and have too many defective qualities that disqualify them as a romantic interest to the opposite sex (or the same sex).


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## Metal Man (Jul 29, 2011)

I'm single because I can't stay in a relationship. I get the urge to get out of it as quickly as possible. I don't like.


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## melissa75 (Feb 16, 2010)

Dane said:


> Because I would only be interested in someone who matched me _very_ well, and it takes so long to get to know people that the chances of my stumbling across such a girl in my lifetime are extremely low.


Same here.

I am reluctant to get to know people, much less approach anyone. It takes a lot of my energy to even try dating. If he's not a near perfect match for me, I'm out because I feel that it's not worth the effort. I'm not particularly nervous or anxious in dating, I just don't feel like trying that hard. It could be depression affecting me, though. I still desire to fall deeply in love...somehow.


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## eddyr (Aug 1, 2011)

I'm not very good once it gets into a relationship I get a bit paranoid and protective


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## Cat Montgomery (Jul 31, 2011)

Not good looking, which is very important, since it's the only thing someone knows about they before you REALLY get to know you. Come on, if you don't know someone, there really is no reason for them to go up to you and start talking. What ever they say is just going to be be bull**** since they know NOTHING about you. Also, if they did start talking to me, I wouldn't know what to do. So actually, I'm kind of glad women don't talk to me. Saves me the awkward conversation.


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## ratbag (Aug 2, 2009)

I can't meet people.


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## SaDa (Jul 30, 2011)

I'm single because well when I do talk to a guy he is either in a relationship, not interested, or just wants to have sex. So until I find someone who shows interest in me and would like to be in a relationship, which is what I want, I'm going to remain single.


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## aw1993 (Aug 8, 2011)

because i come off as stuck up/standoffish due to my SA and also I don't open up to people so they think I don't like them or im boring maybe(never been told)


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## determination (Jul 22, 2011)

Too awkward to have a relationship with someone im attracted to

DOn't have enough friends/too boring, I spend a lot of time at home watching tv and on computer, to have a girlfriend id need to idk do something with her every 2 or 3 days like go to the shops or something and that even seems like a lot of pressure specially since I cant drive


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## Fenren (Sep 20, 2009)

Lots of reasons, not really a good catch right now, no job, not much money, haven't my own place, I'm quiet, boring, unconfident. I've never been that good looking either, it's a rare event that anyone fancied me, even rarer as I grow older. No real friends, no social life.
Wasted a lot of chances though due to SA issues [well more love-shyness specifically] looking back.


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## Lanter (Aug 3, 2011)

After me doing things horribly wrong a few times I decided that being able to live with myself, before dedicating myself to someone else, wouldn't be a bad idea.


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## listener123 (May 31, 2011)

This is quite a thread. A lot of us need to work on our self-esteem. You need to believe you would be an asset to another person's life. (I do too.)

Why am I single? I didn't try for a long time because of anxiety and shame about my weight (used to be heavy). Now? Because I'm not interested in the girls who've been interested in me, and struck out with the ones I liked. In that sense I guess I'm single because I choose to be... which is weird for me to write... since I've chosen it over dating someone I wasn't really into.

That said, I also have huge issues with intimacy. Didn't realize that until lately. I absolutely fear it, physically and emotionally.


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## MissElley (May 15, 2011)

The reason why I'm single is because I'm fat, ugly and weird socially awkward .. pretty much what the OP said , also I'm boring and very, very, very ugly and also very very very fat.


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## JS13 (Jul 21, 2011)

Colton said:


> Unemployed, uninteresting, shy, ugly, skinny loser.


See, you shouldn't down yourself like that. I used to be like that, but I grew out of it. Just man up sometimes and say **** it.


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## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

If I'm honest, it's because I'm scared of girls. 3rd grade anyone? 

I don't have any major personality flaws except for the fact that I just don't put myself out there/open up.


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## binny (Aug 5, 2011)

Work shift hrs, rarely get weekends off lost touch with my friends from high school


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## sociallyretarded (Aug 3, 2010)

Even if guys try to talk to me, they soon realize that I'm too much work and eventually give up.


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## Cole87 (Aug 15, 2011)

Funny thing is I never wanted a G/F before but over the last 8 months my life changed a lot and it made me change my mind on things. And I had someone but it didn't last and now I want something like that again, she got me and loved me and it was great. It's just hard when your SA has to kick its ugly head in.


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## complex (Apr 22, 2009)

-Because I choose to be
-I would rather work on me right now instead of a relationship
-I am young and have plenty of time
-I am not happy all of the time and somehow that makes me think I don't deserve someone
-I do not want to explain my anxiety to another guy who just leaves in the end
-I just do better on my own at this point in my life


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## Mae West (Sep 15, 2005)

I got out of a long term relationship in the beginning of the summer and I haven't yet started to date.


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## Ambient (Aug 16, 2011)

For a lot of the reasons already listed:

- poor self-esteem
- lack of confidence
- hard time making eye-contact
- oblivious to any signals that she's interested
- I am not able to walk up to a stranger and start talking to them
- small talk is my personal bane
- I am the master of making excuses (she must have a bf/hubby, she's not interested in guys...)
- is it really fair for me to start a rel'ship with someone with all of my problems?

I am not single by choice.


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## Und3rground (Apr 27, 2011)

I lack the confidence to speak to girls. Even if I did have the confidence I am very picky and a bit of a perfectionist. Plus I like my freedom!


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