# Teacher called me a "rude *****"



## brattybee (Sep 26, 2013)

So today we did a lab assignment in Biology. She keeps losing all my papers and claims I never turned in my saftey sheet, so me and for others could not participate. That being said, she made us sit in the hallway and would later assign us book work. After a good 10 minutes she finally came outside after giving the class instructions and talked to us. She said and I quote "Oh and you," she looked at me angrily, "If you have a problem we can talk this out one on one. I'm not trying to be a rude ***** I'm being honest but you're acting like a rude ***** for not making eye contact when I'm talking to you." I mumbled that I'm not good at making eye contact then she kept moving where I'd place my eyes and said she won't stop moving until I look at her. I feel like it's all my fault and my social anxiety will never get better but get worse. Later on I told my mom about it and she replied with "Oh well do you want me to call the school then?" I said no and she said, "Well next time make eye contact so you don't have to deal with this again." Everyone thinks that me being this way is just a phase or it is preventable, and it sucks to know I'll never change for the better, but for the worse.


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## AllHailSunnyvale (Sep 12, 2013)

Yikes! That wasn't nice of your teacher at all. I never understand why teachers take it upon themselves to speak to students anyway they feel like. :-\


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## HeartlessRoxas (Sep 26, 2013)

Some people do not understand the struggles that come with having this social phobia take it one day at a time just remember its hard but your not alone.


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## VeMuñeca (Sep 5, 2013)

That is rude of her! She should get reported! Report her unprofessional butt to the dean so they can fire her!


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## BadGirl (Jan 6, 2013)

Doby said:


> That is rude of her! She should get reported! Report her unprofessional butt to the dean so they can fire her!


Absolutetly, but maybe not fired unless it's an on-going issue.


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## Radical But Legal (Aug 11, 2013)

If someone did something like that to me, I'd probably flip out and do something I'd regret doing. Either start insulting the teacher, maybe even would push him/her. Seriously, that's completely uncool.


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## peopleperson51783 (May 31, 2013)

This makes me very angry. I know its hard, but tell that teacher about your sa. If she does it again, report her to someone. Counselor, another teacher, someone! Knowing what I went thru in school, if you were my kid.... I'm not sure but that makes me mad.


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

Wow. It's really not ok for a teacher to speak to a student that way. I would definitely go to a higher authority with that. She was being a complete jerk. There is no excuse for how she treated you. It doesn't matter if she's ignorant about social anxiety. Very shy people who don't have any kind of disorder can struggle with eye contact. That does not give anyone license to humiliate someone and call them derogatory names. I would print out an article or something about social anxiety and either leave it on her desk or go to whoever is above her in your school. Let them know what is going on, that you are struggling with a very real disorder, and that your teacher humiliated you because of it. She was way out of line.


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## captain cosmic (Apr 12, 2012)

That teacher can lose her job for that. You should tell the principal.


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## MilkyChocoxD (May 28, 2013)

Yeah, you should tell your principle about this. Teachers are supposed to be the people you go to help for with you problems they're not supposed to belittle you about it, that isn't right at all.


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## T Studdly (Jul 20, 2013)

Report her. Thats is unacceptable and uncalled for that she called you that. 

She's the only rude ***** here.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

brattybee said:


> Later on I told my mom about it and she replied with "Oh well do you want me to call the school then?"


I think this one's worth a phone call to the school... That was way out of line.



brattybee said:


> I said no and she said, "Well next time make eye contact so you don't have to deal with this again."


Sounds like your mother could use a lesson in "support" as well...


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## brattybee (Sep 26, 2013)

Sounds like your mother could use a lesson in "support" as well...[/QUOTE]

My mom is actually very supportive and we are close (though I don't speak about my social anxiety, depression, etc.) She constantly asked I wanted to call the school but I rejected since they won't let me switch classes, I don't want drama, and I feel at fault. The only reason she said that is because I constantly rejected her offer so there really was nothing else _to_ say.


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## ASB20 (Jun 5, 2013)

I guess you could prove your teacher right and at least punch her right in the eye or something.

Seriously, such intolerant/inflexible people aren't worth being nice to. And she thinks _you're_ rude. Sheesh.

Ditto what Just Lurking said about your mother. That was almost as bad - "Ohhh, just make eye contact. Yeah. Works for my mindset, so it must work for everyone! I have a small worldview!"


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## louiselouisa (Jul 12, 2012)

how about learning to make an eye contact? I can assure you making an eye contact doesn't do anything. nothing bad will happen and neither will something good.

but... are people really that hostile? maybe it has something to do with your body language, some people come off as timid and others come off as rude.


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## VeMuñeca (Sep 5, 2013)

BadGirl said:


> Absolutetly, but maybe not fired unless it's an on-going issue.


You are correct. The sad part is she is probably going to continue doing this because no one has reported her yet. Reporting her can make a difference.


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## brattybee (Sep 26, 2013)

louiselouisa said:


> how about learning to make an eye contact? I can assure you making an eye contact doesn't do anything. nothing bad will happen and neither will something good.
> 
> but... are people really that hostile? maybe it has something to do with your body language, some people come off as timid and others come off as rude.


I don't think you understand; I can't make eye contact no matter how hard I try. Being assured nothing good or bad will happen while making eye contact doesn't kill what goes through my mind when I interact with others. I had my head down and held my hands there was no gesture that I could think of that would come off as rude. She constantly yells at the class for petty reasons. For example, one person could be talking and she decides she is going to yell at the entire class for being disruptive and loud. Her being rude to me for no reason is bound to happen.


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## brattybee (Sep 26, 2013)

ASB20 said:


> I guess you could prove your teacher right and at least punch her right in the eye or something.
> 
> Seriously, such intolerant/inflexible people aren't worth being nice to. And she thinks _you're_ rude. Sheesh.
> 
> Ditto what Just Lurking said about your mother. That was almost as bad - "Ohhh, just make eye contact. Yeah. Works for my mindset, so it must work for everyone! I have a small worldview!"


Sorry I didn't explain my mom's reaction thoroughly: My mom is actually very supportive and we are close (though I don't speak about my social anxiety, depression, etc.) She constantly asked I wanted to call the school but I rejected since they won't let me switch classes, I don't want drama, and I feel at fault. The only reason she said that is because I constantly rejected her offer so there really was nothing else to say.


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## Charmander (Sep 5, 2012)

That is really terrible from a teacher. Even if a student had been avoiding eye contact just to be rude, it's really unprofessional to come out with something like that. She rather sounds like a bully who enjoys her authority.

To give her the benefit of the doubt though, since she may have another student with SA in her class in the future, it might be a good idea to email her about your problem or if you can muster up the courage, do it face to face because she's probably very ignorant about the disorder. Sometimes people with SA can appear standoffish because the anxiety doesn't show on their face, so we just get thought of as rude.

And yeah, it's very hard to just learn how to make eye contact. Spent two years trying to do it in Psychology and only got marginally better at it by the end.



brattybee said:


> She constantly yells at the class for petty reasons. For example, one person could be talking and she decides she is going to yell at the entire class for being disruptive and loud. Her being rude to me for no reason is bound to happen.


Most teachers do this. It's bizarre.


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## louiselouisa (Jul 12, 2012)

brattybee said:


> I don't think you understand; I can't make eye contact no matter how hard I try. Being assured nothing good or bad will happen while making eye contact doesn't kill what goes through my mind when I interact with others. I had my head down and held my hands there was no gesture that I could think of that would come off as rude. She constantly yells at the class for petty reasons. For example, one person could be talking and she decides she is going to yell at the entire class for being disruptive and loud. Her being rude to me for no reason is bound to happen.


no, I understand, everyone tells me nothing bad will happen if I talk more, and even though I want to believe them, I still feel afraid to talk, the fear is still there. but you're supposed to make changes no matter how you actually feel (if you want to though), the fear is not going to disappear if you don't fight it. and yeah, it's not going to disappear by just starting to make an eye contact and it's not going to disappear by believing nothing will happen. but if we can't assure you, what should we do? I get it though, hearing the same thing over and over... it's getting dull.

regarding the teacher, have you told her you have SA/you're shy or something like that? some people are just rude though, but at least she didn't do you any physical harm.


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## Drakey (Sep 26, 2012)

Yeah basically the same thing happened to me yesterday. Teachers are rude like that.


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## glossy95 (Sep 27, 2012)

That's so rude of her. It's annoying and funny at the same time. Just what kind of teacher is that? But.. she might have some problem in her life too ya know, like maybe she intentionally acted like that so nobody would bully her. You never know..
Is there any other teacher who are more friendly at your class? You and others could actually start talking about that teacher's behavior to this other teacher..


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## notgettingbywannadie (Sep 17, 2013)

Yikes! She's mean! Luckily she's most likely irrational to other students and the class already knows it, so they wouldn't judge you for it. Just keep going, girlfriend! I know you can get through this! I would try to just make eye contact with her to avoid another psychotic tirade from her. Even if it's super awkward, it should still be okay with her. She's most likely taking her life and mistakes out on you and the other students. Do what you can to not take it personally, because it isn't personal.


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## OreoBliss (Jan 11, 2013)

That's awful! I would be so angry if I were in your shoes. You need to talk with a counselor about her or something, or talk to the principal.

It's terrific that you and your mom have a good relationship.

Oh, and just because a teacher yelled at you (for unfair reasons may I add -- this teacher seems crazy) doesn't mean you're going to get worse and worse from here on out. In fact, I don't think you did anything wrong, so please don't htink you will "never change for the better". This is just one awful teacher that you'll be laughing about years from now. My history teacher was like that towards me - what made it better was that EVERYONE hated her guts!

Eye contact can be practiced. I'm still not the best at it myself, but when I remember to, I make attempts to look right into their eyes for a bit during conversations. Little steps.


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## brattybee (Sep 26, 2013)

***UPDATE***
So now she's being really nice to me; to the point where it makes me wonder if my mom herself told all my teachers about my social anxiety. She's letting me sit next to my one friend and even talked to me about my septum piercing today. And while explaining to her I actually made eye contact! But that died off within the end of the conversation because I felt kind of stupid for making eye contact, but either way, we are on good terms now.


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## peopleperson51783 (May 31, 2013)

brattybee said:


> ***UPDATE***
> So now she's being really nice to me; to the point where it makes me wonder if my mom herself told all my teachers about my social anxiety. She's letting me sit next to my one friend and even talked to me about my septum piercing today. And while explaining to her I actually made eye contact! But that died off within the end of the conversation because I felt kind of stupid for making eye contact, but either way, we are on good terms now.


Good to hear


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