# Being the fat girl/low self-esteem guy sucks



## Mindflyer (Mar 25, 2007)

I want a girlfriend(and eventually a wife) so bad it hurts. My dilemma is that I am painfully shy around women I don't already know. I also have poor self-esteem issues. I often feel like girls just don't like me period.

I am just like the fat girl. She want a boyfriend but no guy wants to date her because she is 300 pounds and has nasty stretch marks. This makes her depressed, so she eats more and continues to be heavy. If only she could get a boyfriend, then she would be so much happier and finally have the motivation to exercise, eat well, and really fight her weight. 

Guys care a lot about looks in a girl. Sorry but it is true. Yes, personality counts a lot too, but looks are important. I often feel bad or like a jerk just because I am not attracted to a fat girl purely because she is not physically attractive to me. I wish I could change that.

I am the male equivalent of the fat girl. I want a girlfriend but no girl wants to date me because I have low self-esteem. This makes me depressed, so my self-esteem continues to be very bad. If only I could get a girlfriend, then I would be much happier and finally have the motivation to get over my SA and shyness, and finally be the man I oh-so-dearly want to be.

Sounds a lot like the earlier paragraph huh?

I am so frustrated, I just don't know what to do. My insurance from my job covers mental health, but I am extremely scared of phones which makes it impossible for me to call the mental health number on the back of my blue cross/blue sheild card. I also still live with my parents and I am far too embarrased to tell them about any of this, which makes it just that much harder to do anything. If I actually did go to a therapist, how would I tell my parents about what I am doing during that time I am gone? I can't tell them I'm with friends or anything because I don't have any friends! And they know it. 

I know I am not sounding very sexy right now. Probably every girl reading this is totally turned off by what I am saying. But I so badly want to have someone special. I just want to hang with her and hold hands and stuff. Just the thought of holding hands with a girl makes me feel all tingly inside. I would never mistreat or cheat on a girl. Never, ever. I just read some posts on here about girls who like a guy, but are too shy to tell him or whatever. That really makes me jealous of whoever it is they have the crush on. Is it even possible for a girl to have a crush on me?


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## Zack C (May 12, 2007)

> Is it even possible for a girl to have a crush on me?


Lacking confidence is DEVASTATING to the attracting power of men.

Women look at four major things.

1) Honesty- I mean this in more ways than one. Women want the real deal, no fakers. So they are really good at honing in on our lies. If she is thinking about giving points for being popular. She is gonna find out how popular you say you are.
If you want points on intelligence, she is gonna be watching you super closely. An if you want Confidence points, watch out, you better be a real G, cuz the exams are coming.

2) Confidence
3)Reasoning ability/ Personality
4) Looks

Woman like to toy with us. Guys go into the war that is love expecting to win with some Muai Thai. But in reality, you have to be super patient, like a boxer. If you try an knock her out, you won't win. Take your time and go for a Slipt Decision insted.


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## SunLite (Jan 4, 2005)

Work Out/Take care of that ****

How do you build self esteem? Is it by having clarity on the person you want to become versus the person you are now? Is it having a plan on how to get there? Is it having your identity in line with what you want?

You can change and adapt to rise above these challenges. Get the drive to commit to growing to the new and improved you. Revamp yourself. Because right now if you are feeling ****ty then something is NOT working. And change is needed.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Mindflyer said:


> I know I am not sounding very sexy right now.


Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that was your goal. :b

Sometimes mentally I feel like a 300 pounder so I guess I can relate in a way. I know I'm not fat, but the fact that I'm not as skinny as I want to be ****s me off. That's another topic anyway...


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## Airick10 (May 10, 2007)

I think the 'fat girl = 'no confidence guy'. A great match, makes a lot of sense. 

I also think being a short guy is also equivalent.


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## Mindflyer (Mar 25, 2007)

*Re: re: Being the fat girl/low self-esteem guy sucks*



Airick10 said:


> I also think being a short guy is also equivalent.


Yeah this seems to hurt guys a lot. But it is easier for us to make up for it than an overweight girl.

Still, there are some guys who look like damn trolls, yet they get all the women they want because they have confidence, high self-esteem, and balls.


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## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

getting in shape/eating healthy is a primary reason for me to beat my S.A and that pushed me forward to get out and meet people. I'm still very self councious even though I know I attract male attention, but working out and just putting my best face forward the only way for me to feel secure about myself, it especially feels like when people make positive remarks on the subject, " I like your hair", "youre so fit, how do you stay in shape", " youre pretty"..
Looks aside, its all about innner confidence, you dont have to be a model to attract females, for the most part loud "alpha" males get all the attention.


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## sasdoode (Feb 20, 2007)

I think I also have a bad combination of traits. I have low self esteem, yet I am quite shallow.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

I also have low self-esteem and because of it I have never dated but I'm trying to change it. Another quality that keeps me from dating is an inability to be assertive. This affects not me not only romantically but also with work. Lately I've been practicing in my mind techniques for being more assertive.

As an aside, you're correct, Mindflyer, about looks being important. Of course personality is most important but physical appearance is very important for both men AND women. I never believe someone when they say that a person's physical appearance means nothing to them; that's a self-righteous attitude that a lot of people take to make themselves seem superior. It's not being shallow to say that looks are important when looking for a partner.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

People who say "Looks don't matter" irk the hell outta me. I actually had an argument with a guy about that. He was on his high horse like looks mean nothing. He was a dweeb anyway. Well, I do <3 geeks but, he was completely absurd.


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

*Re: re: Being the fat girl/low self-esteem guy sucks*



Strange Religion said:


> People who say "Looks don't matter" irk the hell outta me.


 :ditto


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## GURLWONDER (Oct 1, 2004)

Looks do matter, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 

There are some men out there that a lot of women find attractive, but then alot of OTHER women don't. 

There are some women out there that a lot of men find attractive, but then alot of OTHER men don't. 

There are men who like big butts, but then there are men who think big butts = fat. 

There are men who like big, fake breasts, but then there are men who like em natural. 

There are women who like tall guys over 6ft, then there are women who like short guys. 

There are women who like men with $$$$, then there are women are the breadwinners while their husbands are MR. MOM.

I swear, I am starting to see that we SA's make every excuse in the book to justify our ****ty lives. 

I don't date/work/live/socialize cause I'm too fat/too skinny/too tall/too short/too shy/too ugly/ too attractive/too poor. 

At this very moment there are fat people/skinny people/tall people/short people/shy people/ugly people/overly attractive people/poor people living their lives/dating/working/socializing/marrying/ having babies/etc.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

> I also think being a short guy is also equivalent.


Sorry I totally disagree with this. Most short guys I know are insanely confident, to the point of having to keep themselves in check to not come off as arrogant. Agree to disagree. 

And I actually consider myself socially retarded. I haven't heard anyone use this phrase medically but that's the way I feel. Mentally retarded people lack freinds and a gf/bf? Well I'm socially retarded. I really believe in time they will find some people have a retardation which impedes social interaction. I have that.


> I swear, I am starting to see that we SA's make every excuse in the book to justify our @#%$ lives.


And that's why I blame it on a social interaction issue versus a physical trait. :b


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## Airick10 (May 10, 2007)

*Re: re: Being the fat girl/low self-esteem guy sucks*



scairy said:


> And that's why I blame it on a social interaction issue versus a physical trait. :b


Having very little confidence IS a social interaction issue. And honestly, I don't blame the height thing at all, but it IS a disadvantage. I certainly don't use that as an excuse. I have alopecia (bald spots), and I don't use that as an excuse, but I guess you can say it's a disadvantage.

If Michael Jackson can get married, so can I :yes


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## Mindflyer (Mar 25, 2007)

*Re: re: Being the fat girl/low self-esteem guy sucks*



scairy said:


> And I actually consider myself socially retarded. I haven't heard anyone use this phrase medically but that's the way I feel. Mentally retarded people lack freinds and a gf/bf? Well I'm socially retarded. I really believe in time they will find some people have a retardation which impedes social interaction. I have that.


Socially retarded people are medically reconized. It's called Autism. You might want to look into whether you have it or not. Not all forms of Autism are really obvious (like the autistic kid who acts very strange). I wondered if I have it myself, but my SA makes it too hard for me to go see someone for help. Really though, a lot of guys who are considered "love-shy" do actually have Aspergers, a form of Autism.

There is a whole spectrum of Autism which includes at least 5 different forms of being "socially retarded".


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## treksalot (Mar 9, 2007)

> I know I am not sounding very sexy right now. Probably every girl reading this is totally turned off by what I am saying. But I so badly want to have someone special. I just want to hang with her and hold hands and stuff. Just the thought of holding hands with a girl makes me feel all tingly inside. I would never mistreat or cheat on a girl. Never, ever. I just read some posts on here about girls who like a guy, but are too shy to tell him or whatever. That really makes me jealous of whoever it is they have the crush on. Is it even possible for a girl to have a crush on me?


Actually, nope. I find it intriguing. I think it's totally possible for girls to have a crush on you, based on reading this. I think someone who thinks they are better than sliced bread is one of the major turn-offs for me. Not someone who is shy and sounds like he cares about the girl's feelings. It's really disgusting if a guy was just using the girl.

Zack C said


> Lacking confidence is DEVASTATING to the attracting power of men.


 To some I guess, but not all. People who lack confidence have to be brave everyday inorder to do things that others take for granted. And that's really amazing. And besides showing your inconfidence is just showing some humaness and that's a good thing. Mindflyer you sound like a nice person and if you're what you sound like, then I'm glad there's people like you around.

Hmm... :idea Okay let's say you have a therapist. Well you could say you're seeing a "friend"/someone, and if they ask who? then use you're therapist's first name. Well, the friend bit, if you feel self-conscious about lying, may not be further from the truth. If the two of you get along, you're kinda like friends. This was the case for me, that it was like talking to a friend after awhile. Or your parents could assume the person you're meeting up with is your friend. With my parents I don't really like giving details, so that's what I do Not give details. So I'm vague and replying honestly but not telling them what they want to hear. Ex: Parent-Where are you going? Me-Out. You could say here if you wanted to that you're meeting up with someone. And not explain further. There you go, hope that helps!


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## dubz1308 (May 21, 2007)

Hi I am a 24 year old male and the reason why I am posting right now is because I feel absoulty horrible about what I did the other night. Well I feel sick to my stomach and am not looking foward to going to class that I have a final in. Heres what happened:the other night I went out got really drunk met a girl who was really overweight I was nice and we talked after the 12th drink she came over and we...you know. I have never ever done something like that in my life even when I have been drunk as I was I have never had relations with a girl in that category. (sorry for sounding like an [email protected]) The problem is now I found out she is in my class and I dont know what t say to her. Also I dont know why I did that..what is my problem?


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

I have self esteem issues as well if not zero self esteem eventhough I have overcome my social anxiety/


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

*Re: re: Being the fat girl/low self-esteem guy sucks*



dubz1308 said:


> Hi I am a 24 year old male and the reason why I am posting right now is because I feel absoulty horrible about what I did the other night. Well I feel sick to my stomach and am not looking foward to going to class that I have a final in. Heres what happened:the other night I went out got really drunk met a girl who was really overweight I was nice and we talked after the 12th drink she came over and we...you know. I have never ever done something like that in my life even when I have been drunk as I was I have never had relations with a girl in that category. (sorry for sounding like an [email protected]) The problem is now I found out she is in my class and I dont know what t say to her. Also I dont know why I did that..what is my problem?


Your problem? Sef control and lacking the ability to hold your liquor, lol. Shoot you could give me 20 beers have me crazy drunk and I guarantee I'd still have more self control than 90% of the population but I don't know that that is a good thing.


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## 0rchid (Aug 19, 2006)

So you basically want a hot girl who doesn't care about whether you're ugly or not, and have no confidence? You're right, you are the equilvalent male of a fat girl. As a woman who doesn't have a lot of self-confidence, you offend me.


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## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

Fat girls. Low-self-esteem guys. They battle this summer...for world supremecy. Duun duun duuuun.


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## Becky (Nov 5, 2003)

GURLWONDER said:


> Looks do matter, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
> 
> There are some men out there that a lot of women find attractive, but then alot of OTHER women don't.
> 
> ...


:agree Well said GURLWONDER


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

Friend I can empathize. But I strongly urge you to call the blue shield/cross number. You won't be the first to call. I used to call them 1 a month to get help. Take one step, and then you can see the next step. We support you.


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## Bon (Dec 24, 2005)

Here's my personal opinion and experience for what it's worth.

People still have misconceptions about over-weight people, they're fat, shiftless, lazy, no good, dirty. Stereotypes.

I went from a 120 to, well, I will not post the amount, a few people on the board know, but I'm also down about 50 pounds.

When I was thin, I got a lot of attention, a lot, there was no shortage of men, yet I wasn't invited out much, odd.........When I'm heavy, I feel safer, I'm more me, the outgoing person inside, that's dying to get out.......I sincerely am more comfortable being heavy......However, because I was more comfortable, I was invited out a lot more, people paid closer attention to me, I also stopped wearing makeup, so they were seeing the real me....... There have been a couple men that have said "You're the only heavy woman I would go out with" well, guess what bud, it ain't happening.........Don't like that attitude...... We all have our taste, but.....Just didn't set right. again, we all have our taste, I don't fault that, I fault the backhanded compliment.

Yes, looks matter, it also depends on whose looking, so much comes down to chemistry, what I see, isn't what someone else may see, hell, I had no idea how big I had become until I saw pictures of myself in a blouse I loved, vomit city, I was large, but.........I was safe..... Attitude, Attitude, Attitude!

I do have to admit something that contradicts what I have written, yet it also proves self esteem, attitude........ When I was invited out, I had to wonder what was wrong with the man to want to be seen, and take me out......


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

GURLWONDER said:


> Looks do matter, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder.


_They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder! 
And I behold her! 
But she's still resting on the wrong shoulder! 
How I wish I could already hold her! 
Beecuz...._

--GW Sok

I'm a fat girl. A fat girl asked me to the prom at her school, for she knew I was a fat girl, and skinny girls at her school would not take her. So this fat girl went to the prom of strangers with a fat girl, but I didn't go to my own prom because I was a fat girl. I stuck out like a fat girl at the prom of strangers, and I sure acted like a fat girl. My date was a kind and personal fat girl, but alas, she was a fat girl still. And as my sensitive mother (former fat girl) would say, "She'd be so pretty if she wasn't such a fat girl."


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

There's a brilliance to your complete mind f*cking posts.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

I'm down 92 pounds in the last 18 1/2 months and still all alone. Being thinner = greater chance of living longer = even longer life to be alone. Yahoo! :fall


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## lonesomeboy (Aug 29, 2005)

0rchid said:


> So you basically want a hot girl who doesn't care about whether you're ugly or not, and have no confidence? You're right, you are the equilvalent male of a fat girl. As a woman who doesn't have a lot of self-confidence, you offend me.


yep they must exist somewhere  lol

anyways I am the equivalent of a super fat chick I am ugly, with no confidence or self esteem and lack normal social skills. I will die alone without a doubt


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## Volume (Apr 8, 2007)

Mindflyer said:


> Is it even possible for a girl to have a crush on me?


Would it even matter right now? You don't sound like the guy who would do anything even if a girl flashed an "I want you now" sign in front of your face.

Work on your issues first. Focus on women later. :yes


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## emptybottle (Jan 3, 2005)

It's disgusting how you have to take out your feelings of worthlessness on fat girls.


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

I really don't think he posted anything that offensive, he was comparing his situation to a fat girl who is 300 pounds, and I daresay, she probably doesn't have a lot of self esteem either.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

Yes, unfortunately, our social culture tends to rank the "physically unattractive" female, i.e. "fat girl," and the socially awkward/low-self esteem male as the lowest of the lows.

I too was repulsed by the phrase "fat girl," and I'm surprised no one said anything yet I believe until now.

Of course,
I haven't read every post in this thread.
Being as I live inside my fat girl fat head.


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## Mindflyer (Mar 25, 2007)

emptybottle said:


> It's disgusting how you have to take out your feelings of worthlessness on fat girls.


I was just trying to make a comparison. I did not intend to offend anyone.

You would find it disgusting if a guy rejected a girl just because she is fat, right? Well I am trying to say that if a girl rejects a guy like me for being shy or not confident, its the SAME THING.


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

Mindflyer said:


> emptybottle said:
> 
> 
> > It's disgusting how you have to take out your feelings of worthlessness on fat girls.
> ...


It's a poor analogy because you have no basis for comparison. You've never been a fat girl, a short guy, a cripple, a bi-curious man, an anorexic and so on and so forth. Therefore, saying that you "feel like a fat girl" is absolutely ridiculous because you haven't the slightest idea what overweight women feel, you simply believe, or THINK you believe, the perpetual eating habits that accompany the stigma.

In your case, you're shy and feeling rejected because you're shy. Unfortunately, no one is rejecting you, you're rejecting yourself. You've provided no evidence or specific examples of your affliction causing people or women in general to think of you as anything other than a regular ol' shy dude. To many women, this is an admirable and very attractive trait. But you'll never know that because you've already made the decision that everyone hates you even though you never meet or associate with them. I'd bet a million to one against anyone you think dislikes you actually giving a care as to who you are or what you're about. To put it simply, it's all in your head.

You're 22 years old. Hardly an experienced adult but no longer a helpless boy either. I'm not sure why you need to account for every hour of your life to your parents--that probably deserves explanation--but I see no real reason why you can't call, or have someone else call a psychiatrist for you. Many even accept appointments by email nowadays if you're phobic about telephones. You even have insurance so the expense will likely be negligable. It sounds like you need a swift kick in the pants, not coddling and hand-holding. So stop with the self-loathing and make an appointment. You'll thank me in a few months, when you've discovered a prescription that helps you cope with yourself.


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## sonya99 (Sep 5, 2005)

*Re: re: Being the fat girl/low self-esteem guy sucks*



Mercurochrome said:


> Yes, unfortunately, our social culture tends to rank the "physically unattractive" female, i.e. "fat girl," and the socially awkward/low-self esteem male as the lowest of the lows.


I'd say one could make a good argument for that.

Still, a low-self esteem, un-confidant guy doesn't _really_ know what it's like being the fat girl and vice versa.


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## Mindflyer (Mar 25, 2007)

The original intent of this topic was to bring an idea to the table. Why am I arguing with people now?


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## Volume (Apr 8, 2007)

> The original intent of this topic was to bring an idea to the table. Why am I arguing with people now?


Because the majority of SAers here are hypocrites? They expect understanding and sympathy from people around them, yet are oh-so-rude to their own kind.


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

Volume said:


> > The original intent of this topic was to bring an idea to the table. Why am I arguing with people now?
> 
> 
> Because the majority of SAers here are hypocrites? They expect understanding and sympathy from people around them, yet are oh-so-rude to their own kind.


This makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Trolling on an SA board rarely lasts very long. So if that's your intention, you should probably pack your bags now and move along.

As for the "idea" that the OP brought to the table, I'm still wondering what it is. You're comparing yourself to a fat chick. No matter how you look at it, it's just not going to work. People post here to offer advice, to ask for advice and to offer reciprocal support. If you're simply trying to figure out what to do about your SA, you could have asked that without the fat girl comparison. Because I can guarantee you that no one here is going to say "Aw, poor guy feels like he's a fat girl...lets give him hugs!"


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## Volume (Apr 8, 2007)

path0gen said:


> This makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Trolling on an SA board rarely lasts very long. So if that's your intention, you should probably pack your bags now and move along.


Twice now, I've been labeled a troll for sharing my views. Still miss my point?


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

He is comparing his rejection from lack of confidence and shyness to obese women as it relates to failures with the opposite sex. That is all, nothing more. Get off your high horse, you aren't even trying to help him, just trying to make him feel like ****.


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

Volume said:


> path0gen said:
> 
> 
> > This makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Trolling on an SA board rarely lasts very long. So if that's your intention, you should probably pack your bags now and move along.
> ...


Actually, yes, I missed whatever point you were trying to get across. An alleged SA sufferer coming to an SA board and making a negative blanket statement about everyone with social anxiety is hypocracy in action. I'm sorry you feel rejected or misunderstood but I have a hunch it's because you're attitude sucks.


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## Volume (Apr 8, 2007)

path0gen said:


> I'm sorry you feel rejected or misunderstood but I have a hunch it's because you're attitude sucks.


Well, I respect your view, path0gen.


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## Mindflyer (Mar 25, 2007)

Prodigal Son said:


> He is comparing his rejection from lack of confidence and shyness to obese women as it relates to failures with the opposite sex. That is all, nothing more. Get off your high horse, you aren't even trying to help him, just trying to make him feel like @#%$.


I could not have said it better myself. That is exactly what is going on. And yes, some people here are making me feel like s#%$. Thank you, Prodigal Son.


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

Prodigal Son said:


> He is comparing his rejection from lack of confidence and shyness to obese women as it relates to failures with the opposite sex. That is all, nothing more. Get off your high horse, you aren't even trying to help him, just trying to make him feel like @#%$.


He has no basis for comparison, as it has been explained several times on this thread. And I know several overweight women who are perfectly happy with their weight and do just well socially and romantically. He's playing on a stereotype ("fat chicks have no luck with guys") in order to gain sympathy for his own dilemma, not to inspire any sort of deep, methodical dissecting of his issues and find resolution. It'd be like me saying "I have a mental block about driving...hey, you Asian guys out there, you know what I'm talking about, right?" or "I keep trying to get over my fear of heights but it's just not working...I feel like a black guy trying to learn to swim!"

In this case he chose to associate his lack of social skills to an overweight woman's inability to date. It's downright ludicrous and offensive. And if you don't understand why, you're better off being anti-social and staying away from people until you learn about respect, ettiquette and the ability to avoid being completely and utterly crass and rude to others.


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

path0gen said:


> He has no basis for comparison, as it has been explained several times on this thread. And I know several overweight women who are perfectly happy with their weight and do just well socially and romantically. He's playing on a stereotype ("fat chicks have no luck with guys") in order to gain sympathy for his own dilemma, not to inspire any sort of deep, methodical dissecting of his issues and find resolution. It'd be like me saying "I have a mental block about driving...hey, you Asian guys out there, you know what I'm talking about, right?" or "I keep trying to get over my fear of heights but it's just not working...I feel like a black guy trying to learn to swim!"
> 
> In this case he chose to associate his lack of social skills to an overweight woman's inability to date. It's downright ludicrous and offensive. And if you don't understand why, you're better off being anti-social and staying away from people until you learn about respect, ettiquette and the ability to avoid being completely and utterly crass and rude to others.


Yeah, I'm not buying it.

A 300 pound woman with stretch marks is happy with her weight? I bet most aren't, uh oh generalization! You don't think that brings issues with men finding her attractive? On a certain level he relates to the rejection, his intent isn't meant to be offensive or degrading, he doesn't have to unzip himself and be in the mind of a fat girl to post such a statement.

Generalizations do have their place, I really don't get this at all and don't think the sense is being made. He has even stated clearly his intent was not to offend people. If he apologized would you even care?

What he really doesn't need is a hypocritical-condescending know it all who is out to give him a "switch kick in the pants" and teach him a lesson and proclaim to be an authority on offensive, rude, etiquette, and respectful behavior. Bully behavior.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

path0gen said:


> you're better off being anti-social and staying away from people until you learn about respect, ettiquette and the ability to avoid being completely and utterly crass and rude to others.


The topic of this thread and subsequent analogies could have been more carefully visualized and theorized, but that does not excuse your reaction to this misunderstanding.

You're being very judgmental in your defense against judgment.

Could it be that you are a fat girl too?


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## Nihlanth (Sep 1, 2004)

path0gen said:


> ...... *It sounds like you need a swift kick in the pants, not coddling and hand-holding.* So stop with the self-loathing and make an appointment. You'll thank me in a few months, when you've discovered a prescription that helps you cope with yourself.


Mercuro is totally right, you are being quite rude and unreasonably aggressive over a simple misunderstanding over comparing certain analogies and viewpoints. Obviously, your viewpoint is different than his, this does not mean that he deserves a beating as you have belittled him with.

It seems like Path0gen is the one that needs to take some chill pills and calm down. This is ridiculous.


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## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

Mercurochrome said:


> path0gen said:
> 
> 
> > you're better off being anti-social and staying away from people until you learn about respect, ettiquette and the ability to avoid being completely and utterly crass and rude to others.
> ...


My reaction was shared by a number of others on this thread before I even decided to post. It's odd that the three of you have decided to focus-fire on my reaction rather than taking a step back and realizing that a number of people were offended and disagree with the analogy. Instead of rewording or perhaps coming up with something a little less offensive, the OP has decided to stick by the original text and insist that it is proper and worthy of a constructive, helpful response. As the four pages of this thread would indicate, however, it is certainly not. I read this sentence:



> You're being very judgmental in your defense against judgment.


Which is immediately followed by this one:



> Could it be that you are a fat girl too?


And can't help but to be disappointed. I feel that my assumptions and blunt advice are validated by the attitude and subsequent responses to my first post by the OP. You, on the other hand, are lashing out at them and then assuming that I could only possibly be upset because I am, of course, a fat chick. If you're going to enlighten me with this sage advice of yourse, it's probably not a good idea to close with such a silly assumption. In this particular instance it looks as though you're saying only fat chicks have the right to defend themselves against condescending posts about fat chicks.

And for the people going on the offensive regarding the firm hand I've taken with the OP, well, you are entitled to your own opinions. But judging by his responses, he has absolutely no idea why his original post could possibly be offensive, regardless of my endeavors to explain. I personally wouldn't want to hang out with some guy who thinks it's ok to compare himself to a fat chick, possibly in the presense of other fat chicks and then go on to complain about his social anxiety. The underlying purpose of this post is to rant, not to seek advice. And if it's empathy he's trying to obtain, his target audience are overweight women and there are far better places to solicit them for compassion than a social anxiety board. So, by all means, think of me as overly critical. But this thread, in summary, is about lots of angst and resentment and some guy's inability to date and...oh yeah, fat chicks, you surely must understand what he's talking about, no?

I won't bother with more rhetoric; I've stated my opinion on the matter several times over and elaborated on said opinion. You can think I'm the big bad meanie for trying to explain why the post was in poor taste, which is clearly my intention. But I doubt very much that this thread will produce any sort of helpful advice from anyone, fat or otherwise.


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