# Meditation Thread



## SplendidBob

Last year I did a fair bit of meditation and experienced some quite interesting results (I worked up to 15 mins a day, and kept it going for a few months). Sadly, due to circumstances that occurred at Christmas I wasn't able to keep the practice going. Nonetheless it was quite beneficial, and I want to start it up again, and as with all things like this it is more effective as a habit when others are joining in. 

So, my plan is to slowly ramp up the meditation amount as I did last time, and provide some basic information about how to do meditation, what to expect, and so on. I am a long way from an expert on this kind of thing though, so bear that in mind.

Anywho, going to resume Monday the 13th Feb. Will be doing 2.5 minutes a day for the first week to establish the habit, then will gradually increase up to 15-20 mins or so.

Anyone who wishes to join me, feel free. Would be good to have some other folks joining in, but if necessary, I will solo it and report my experiences for lurkers .

Will reserve a couple of posts for basic information.


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## SplendidBob

So, basic stuffs:

1. Sit comfortably (I lie down personally, meh), and direct your attention to your breath. You are trying to observe the sensations of breathing, so the rising and falling of your chest, the sensations within your body as you breathe etc. You can focus either on the stomach / abdomen, or the feeling of the air coming out from your nose (I don't think it matters too much what you focus on, it's just that your breathing is always there ).

2. Perhaps a better way to put it is to _practise_ redirecting your focus to the breath. This is an important distinction because when you start meditating it is easy to get frustrated by how much your mind wanders. The act of redirecting back to the breath is what gives you the benefits, so expect your mind to go all over the place, and when you catch it, just gently redirect it back onto the breath. Every opportunity to redirect your thinking is part of the training, so you won't be successful by being able to forcefully focus on your breathing, you will be successful by _redirecting_ your thinking back as many times as you can.

3. Be super gentle with yourself, don't reprimand yourself for not focusing on the breathing, just observe you have wandered, and bring your attention back. You are training your mind to relax, and being frustrated with your mind will have the opposite effect.

That is pretty much the basics. I like incorporating counting mentally as well. This tends to stop my mind wandering quite as much, and makes it easier to notice when I have gone off track. So focus on the sensations of breathing, then mentally count (and focus on that), then focus on the sensations of breathing and so on.

_Stage 1:_
For the first 2.5 mins I do:

breathe in, breathe out, 1
breathe in, breathe out, 2

to 10. (then start back at 1).

_Stage 2:_
For the second 2.5 mins I do:

1 breathe in, breathe out
2 breathe in, breathe out

to 10. (then start back at 1).

_Stage 3_
for the third 2.5 mins I stop counting.

You can just ignore the counting though, but I find it makes it easier and kinda breaks things up a little bit.

Worth pointing out perhaps, the easiest way to establish a routine is to link meditation to something else you already do as a routine. I like to do it as soon as I wake up, but you can do it after any other activity you routinely do (e.g. brushing your teeth).

This is a great little online timer, you can set it up to gong in intervals 

http://www.onlinemeditationtimer.com/

So, I will start again on the 13th, my plan is roughly:

Week 1: 2.5 mins stage 1
Week 2: 5 mins stage 1
Week 3: 5 mins stage 1, 5 mins stage 2,
Week 4: 5 mins stage 1, 5 mins stage 2, 5 mins stage 3.


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## SplendidBob

Also reserved lul


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## ladyscuttle

I'm in. I've been dabbling anyway since a recent "relapse" on heavier anxiety. I feel like it's been helping me so far, but I would like to stay on the bangwagon...even on my better days. Speaking of, I'm off to ****ing meditate.


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## forever in flux

In a similiar situation myself and found an excellent website with loads of free content to get started and clear up confusions. I've read several books on mindfulness, ACT, MBSR and so on and nothing has been half as helpful as this website.

Here's a few links to get started:

How to meditate: http://www.thetadprinciple.com/daily-musings/how-to-meditate-short-and-simple

Difference between mindfulness and meditation: http://www.thetadprinciple.com/daily-musings/whats-the-difference-between-mindfulness-and-meditation

What type of meditation should I do, it's all so confusing! http://www.thetadprinciple.com/tad-blog/what-type-of-meditation-do-i-do-its-so-confusing

I want to overcome my anxiety by meditating: http://www.thetadprinciple.com/daily-musings/i-want-to-overcome-my-anxiety-by-meditating

Their free guide: http://www.thetadprinciple.com/free-meditation-guide-0101adj.html

Sitemap: http://www.thetadprinciple.com/sitemap.html

The main guy who runs the website is very open to questions and queries, although they have loads of short articles that cover most questions beginners have. He got back to me within a couple of days and on the weekend too with a very thorough and helpful answer to my question.

I use a mantra instead of the breath as it's easier for beginners. The guy that runs the site talks about it in this post, Username Jdandre: https://www.everyday-mindfulness.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=4266&p=11976#p11976&mobile=on


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## littleghost

I just started taking a Mindfulness Meditation class, so I will be meditating somewhat too. I'll be doing the exercises that go with the class, and we do some guided meditations during class in addition to instruction. It's supposed to be great for stress and anxiety. I've done it before, but it was a long time ago. I'm hoping to make a habit of it that lasts longer this time.


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## forever in flux

I found this article helped motivate me to practice.

What does Mindfulness Meditation do for the Brain?
https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/guest-blog/what-does-mindfulness-meditation-do-to-your-brain/

Research and benefits of meditation:
http://www.thetadprinciple.com/meditation-research.html


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## GODxPUPPETxMAR

I'm definitely down. Just recently downloaded the "Calm" app which is pretty helpful. 

You should start a meditation group


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## catcharay

I struggle with meditating but I've been more conscious with breathing deeply through my diaphragm. I've got this feeling in my stomach, and I think it helps marginally but it's better than nothing.


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## kesker

splendidbob said:


> Also reserved lul


:lol this is why I can't meditate. I'm easily distracted by goofy sh*t.

Stop that! :bah


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## kesker

I actually really want to get started on meditation. I've been saying that for a long time but it's still true. Hope to get started soon.


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## twistix

I'm in


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## SplendidBob

ladyscuttle said:


> I'm in. I've been dabbling anyway since a recent "relapse" on heavier anxiety. I feel like it's been helping me so far, but I would like to stay on the bangwagon...even on my better days. Speaking of, I'm off to ****ing meditate.


Yeh, I am a bit annoyed with myself I couldn't keep it up over Christmas, but I was quite depressed and I kinda had to drop it. But I am now in a much better place and hopefully can get similar benefits to last time.
@Barry bin Laden thanks for the links. I will have to have a go at the mantra, it sounds like it might be a lot easier. Will stick it onto my sections .
@littleghost linking to another habit is a really good way to make it more regular, especially if its early in the day. Let us know if you find any useful tips from your class .
@GODxPUPPETxMAR I think the groups are kinda abandoned. I prefer to make these things as threads though anyway, because its like a public statement "I am going to be doing this", so there is extra incentive for me not to fall off it .



catcharay said:


> I struggle with meditating but I've been more conscious with breathing deeply through my diaphragm. I've got this feeling in my stomach, and I think it helps marginally but it's better than nothing.


I think everyone does tbh. I struggle a little bit with the vagueness of concentrating on the stomach / abdomen. I much prefer focusing on the nose area personally, it's more precise and obvious somehow.



kesker said:


> :lol this is why I can't meditate. I'm easily distracted by goofy sh*t.
> 
> Stop that! :bah



@twistix good stuff


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## SFC01

When starting at the very least you wanna but yourself a book or best of all attend a class - books that I recommend are anything the Mark William / Danny Penman or the one by Mark Williams / Jan Kabat Zinn.

If you google MArk Williams, his site has most of the reorcded practices there for free. Also recommend Ron Siegel who also has free downloads but the book is worth buying.

I`ve been practicisng for over 5 years but only the last year on a daily basis - I now do over 2 hrs a day on some days. Its great stuff.

Remember, there is no bad mediation, even when your mind is all over the place, thats fine, just bring it back to your breath when you notice. I still practice now where I only concentrated on the breath for a few minutes out 30mins - it dosesn't matter. If you get frustrated/bored - intead of packing it in, just notice how the frustration makes your body feel - and you notice how these things pass naturally - a good thing for life in general.

PS, I have checked out @Barry bin Laden link, and its perfect into for a beginner - I`m going to sign up for it as well even though I have practised a while now.


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## Stayinsane

Hey all,

I wanted to share with you a meditation I found extremely helpful for my Schizophrenia and Social Anxiety.

Put this video on loop and either sit or lay down with eyes closed.






It focuses on the 10th chakra also known as the earth star, more info on this can be found here:
http://www.chakras.info/12-chakras/



> 10th chakra - Located about a foot and a half below the surface of the ground. It ensures our connection with the earth. Because it works primarily with the energies of the earth, it is very physical in nature. *It participates to our physical well-being* and connects us to the grounding energies of the earth and our environment. Just like the first (or root) chakra, *it is useful to heal* any bone and bone marrow-related issues. It can also play a role in any DNA-related or hereditary issues.


You should feel the energy below your feet, just keep focusing on that area.

Please try it out and let me know what you think!


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## Stayinsane

Sorry video link didn't work:


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## SparklingWater

I'm in for mindfulness. So wonderful. I love the focus on breathing one best. The body scan, 5 senses and noticing thoughts are all amazing. I've actually been considering going to one of the free 10 day vipassana meditation retreats. All were full near me for the next few months.


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## SplendidBob

@realisticandhopeful that reminds me I was planning to add a body scan section to my little meditation efforts 

How do those retreats work? Do you just kinda go there for 10 days and meditate yourself like crazy? Sounds kinda like fun (and a good _new_ thing to try for avoidance's sake).


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## SFC01

splendidbob said:


> @*realisticandhopeful* that reminds me I was planning to add a body scan section to my little meditation efforts
> 
> How do those retreats work? Do you just kinda go there for 10 days and meditate yourself like crazy? Sounds kinda like fun (and a good _new_ thing to try for avoidance's sake).


Apparently retreats are very intense and one has to be dedicated - sit down and try to meditate for just 2 hrs.

Body scans are good but remember you aren't trying to make sensations happen so don't get frutrated if you can't feel anything, just note that.

I`ve just finished a breath sampler, 5 mins each of breath, breath and noting rise and fall, breath at the nostrils, breath at nostrils noting in and out and then finishing by counting as many breaths in a row I can do before losing focus and then starting again - a good way to learn how to focus when you need to.

Try a loving kindness and tonglen practice bob, I always feel good after them.


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## SparklingWater

@splendidbob can't really tell you much as I don't know too much about it myself. Just sounds awesome. Here's the link https://www.dhamma.org/

Also loving kindness meditation is pretty good. Not my fave. I think I'd have to focus it all towards myself first though. Then turn it outwards.


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## SplendidBob

realisticandhopeful said:


> @splendidbob can't really tell you much as I don't know too much about it myself. Just sounds awesome. Here's the link https://www.dhamma.org/
> 
> Also loving kindness meditation is pretty good. Not my fave. I think I'd have to focus it all towards myself first though. Then turn it outwards.


Yeh, I think its definitely worth looking into though like @SFC01 says I think they might be quite hardcore in terms of duration and intensity. But if it's too much, you can just walk out I guess, no harm done


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## SparklingWater

@splendidbob

Or can you... dun dun dunnnnn. Lol. Yea i guess they can't hold you hostage, but the site is pretty clear they urge you to stay til the end. Oh and 10 days in silence, you mean no awkward convo's ever again? Whelp i'm moving in! Not avoidance at all lol. Just love me some meditation... yea


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## Strago

I'm up for this. I've been meaning to retry learning to meditate anyway. I'll check out some of those links too.

Maybe I started off too ambitious before, I was doing 10 minutes from the very start, rather than 2.5 minutes.


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## SplendidBob

realisticandhopeful said:


> @splendidbob
> 
> Or can you... dun dun dunnnnn. Lol. Yea i guess they can't hold you hostage, but the site is pretty clear they urge you to stay til the end. Oh and 10 days in silence, you mean no awkward convo's ever again? Whelp i'm moving in! Not avoidance at all lol. Just love me some meditation... yea


I guess after that you will be _very_ good at meditation 



Strago said:


> I'm up for this. I've been meaning to retry learning to meditate anyway. I'll check out some of those links too.
> 
> Maybe I started off too ambitious before, I was doing 10 minutes from the very start, rather than 2.5 minutes.


I think with this kind of thing its really more about establishing a habit, and latching it onto something else you do. So keeping the time needed low enough so you can't talk yourself out of it makes sense . I also found varying the counting and ways you do it in 2.4 or 5 minute blocks makes it easier to do a longer amount too.


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## Strago

splendidbob said:


> I think with this kind of thing its really more about establishing a habit, and latching it onto something else you do. So keeping the time needed low enough so you can't talk yourself out of it makes sense . I also found varying the counting and ways you do it in 2.4 or 5 minute blocks makes it easier to do a longer amount too.


The problem with latching it on to a different habit, is I don't keep to a consistent schedule with much of anything. Even my sleep schedule isn't consistent. So I don't know what I would do that with.


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## SplendidBob

Strago said:


> The problem with latching it on to a different habit, is I don't keep to a consistent schedule with much of anything. Even my sleep schedule isn't consistent. So I don't know what I would do that with.


After / before you clean your teeth or shower
As soon as you wake up
Before you go to sleep
Before / after breakfast

Stuff like that


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## SFC01

Bob, assume you are aware of the informal type of practice with meditation ie when brushing your teeth or having a shower, walking, driving, eating etc ? An important part of it all.


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## SplendidBob

SFC01 said:


> Bob, assume you are aware of the informal type of practice with meditation ie when brushing your teeth or having a shower, walking, driving, eating etc ? An important part of it all.


Yeh, I find that quite difficult personally, I kinda need scheduled times to do stuff. But yeh, it was something I was looking to start incorporating before I stopped doing it before


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## SFC01

splendidbob said:


> Yeh, I find that quite difficult personally, I kinda need scheduled times to do stuff. But yeh, it was something I was looking to start incorporating before I stopped doing it before


yeah mate, it can be difficult to make routine - I set reminders at the start, to brush my teeth etc mindfully. Now things like that and walking, driving etc are always mindful for me now as I'm so used to doing it.


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## Humesday

I need to get back into meditation, so I'm in. I'm shooting for 30 minutes a day starting off.

I meditated intensively last year for about four months. I was meditating up to five hours a day (typically 2-3 hours a day). It felt amazing. I was praying alongside my meditation and I felt such overwhelming joy and peace.

A good book that I read on the matter is Mindfulness in Plain English. You can find a free version at the following link.

http://www.vipassana.com/meditation/mindfulness_in_plain_english.php


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## SplendidBob

@Humesday, wow, that's hardcore. Interesting to hear how you felt on that much. Did you break it up into small sections or do one or two long chunks?

Thanks for the link


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## Humesday

splendidbob said:


> @Humesday, wow, that's hardcore. Interesting to hear how you felt on that much. Did you break it up into small sections or do one or two long chunks?
> 
> Thanks for the link


I'd break it up into hour long chunks. I'd meditate for an hour, take a small five minute break, do another hour long session, then maybe do some compassion meditation, etc.

It's actually kind of addicting once you really get into it. It's pretty easy to meditate the day away once that sense of peace and joy really takes hold.


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## SFC01

Humesday said:


> I'd break it up into hour long chunks. I'd meditate for an hour, take a small five minute break, do another hour long session, then maybe do some compassion meditation, etc.
> 
> It's actually kind of addicting once you really get into it. It's pretty easy to meditate the day away once that sense of peace and joy really takes hold.


If in the right mood, I can sit all day too but rarely in that mood - usually an hour practice plus another hour or so with a number of smaller practices but yes it can be addicting at certain times.


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## littleghost

I was having trouble doing the meditation. I was too harsh on myself and getting frustrated when my mind would wander. Once, I had a song stuck in my head and it was driving me crazy. Then I remembered about Labeling. With Labeling, when an intrusive thought crosses your mind, or you hear a distraction, or feel a pain or something, you label it with one simple word before directing your attention back to the breath. For some reason it works, I would think "song" and the song would go away for a while. You can say pain, noise, birds, thinking, whatever word works to label the distraction. I'm trying to remember to not get frustrated with myself too.


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## Strago

I went with doing the meditation when I woke up in the morning. I forgot to set a timer though so I don't know exactly how long it was, probably about 5 minutes.


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## SFC01

littleghost said:


> I was having trouble doing the meditation. I was too harsh on myself and getting frustrated when my mind would wander. Once, I had a song stuck in my head and it was driving me crazy. Then I remembered about Labeling. With Labeling, when an intrusive thought crosses your mind, or you hear a distraction, or feel a pain or something, you label it with one simple word before directing your attention back to the breath. For some reason it works, I would think "song" and the song would go away for a while. You can say pain, noise, birds, thinking, whatever word works to label the distraction. I'm trying to remember to not get frustrated with myself too.


Yes thought lableing is a good idea and I tend to incorporate into all practices - that way it seems to filter into daily life - have you tried listening meditation ? always good to do some of that as you can think of sounds in the same way as thoughts, coming and going.

You can always work with that frustration and notice how it effects the body sensations etc as of course mindfulness is all about how you are in that moment not how you want it to be.


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## SplendidBob

I have been struggling with this this week, missed yesterday . Now my OCD might be kicking off again I will probably keep the duration down to 2.5 mins for another week (I find meditation and OCD aren't good bedfellows, to put it mildly).


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## kev1

*I feel meditation along with prescription drugs, exercise, therapy, and doing hobbies you enjoy all are helpful. I know it is something I will be doing forever, because it's one of my hobbies I like to do and should stay mindful things wont improve all at once for anyone, but if you actually like to meditate then you should see a difference in whatever illness we all have. So I guess what I am saying is don't meditate thinking only of the benefits, but for the joy of actually meditating in that moment, so you will not be discouraged if you have anxious times and then give up. I believe you have to set time aside for it, because it is easy to stop and once you stop it could cause anxiety over yourself and thinking I need to start, so just do it. *


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## catcharay

15 mins today . Yeah as above, I actually thought I am going to set time aside just for it (and not in bed when I'm about to sleep). I am going to try 2 x in a day.


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## SFC01

kev1 said:


> * so you will not be discouraged if you have anxious times and then give up. I believe you have to set time aside for it, because it is easy to stop and once you stop it could cause anxiety over yourself and thinking I need to start, so just do it. *


Setting aside time for each day is obviously a great idea.

Just a note re anxious times and giving up - remember you can try different practices for different moods, for eg if you are too highly strung/anxious to even think about sitting and practising, then a mindful walk or even car drive can be as good and are easier to do in that state of mind - of course you will get the added benefit of some exercise as well.


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## SFC01

catcharay said:


> 15 mins today . Yeah as above, I actually thought I am going to set time aside just for it (and not in bed when I'm about to sleep). I am going to try 2 x in a day.


Do you have a guided course to follow ?


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## catcharay

@SFC01
No I just try to keep in line with the transcendental meditation technique. Inhale deeply through the nose and work the breath way through the diaphragm while chanting silently (in my head) 'ram' as I exhale.


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## SFC01

catcharay said:


> @*SFC01*
> No I just try to keep in line with the transcendental meditation technique. Inhale deeply through the nose and work the breath way through the diaphragm while chanting silently (in my head) 'ram' as I exhale.


Ok, dont know much about transcendental meditation, assume it can be a secular practice ? Any websites you recommend for me to have a look at and try some out ?


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## catcharay

SFC01 said:


> Ok, dont know much about transcendental meditation, assume it can be a* secular practice* ? Any websites you recommend for me to have a look at and try some out ?


Yeah, it's just good for health. They've made a market with TM courses so information is hard to come across. This probably sums it up: http://www.meditationtechniquesbeginners.com/transcendental-meditation-technique/. You can also choose your own mantra, whatever registers best for you. I tried looking but it appears that the info is pretty guarded. "Ram" is sounded out as arm, along with 'Lam', and I think these mantras is a good place to start off.


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## SFC01

catcharay said:


> Yeah, it's just good for health. They've made a market with TM courses so information is hard to come across. This probably sums it up: http://www.meditationtechniquesbeginners.com/transcendental-meditation-technique/. You can also choose your own mantra, whatever registers best for you. I tried looking but it appears that the info is pretty guarded. "Ram" is sounded out as arm, along with 'Lam', and I think these mantras is a good place to start off.


Thanks for this - just checked some studies that suggest TM can work for things like anxiety within 2 weeks, compared to what I think is 8 weeks with mindfulness. Wonder where the difference lies - will try some TM tonight I think.


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## catcharay

I think the mantra is the major differing factor. TM is probably easier if you need to focus on something, it can be hard to stay aware of your thoughts with mindfulness. Mindfulness is practical for tackling day to day stuff.


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## SparklingWater

Did mindfulness today- a 5 min deep breathing and a 5 min body scan.


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## Cassoulet94

Hey,

Does meditation help you regulating your anger in your everyday life ? Being more calm when someone/something upset you ?


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## SFC01

Cassoulet94 said:


> Hey,
> 
> Does meditation help you regulating your anger in your everyday life ? Being more calm when someone/something upset you ?


I think it can. I'm not the angriest person in the world Cass but meditation has definitely helped me control my temper with my kids, stopping me from setting stupid punishments I wont keep, or ruining an afternoon out - I now tend to stop and watch my breath for 10-20 seconds before reacting and stopping things going further than they need to.


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## Max Seigel

I also meditated for a few months every day for 20 minutes and it definitely helped my anxiety. I noticed myself observing my thoughts more rather than living in them. In circumstances where my anxiety would normally flare up, I noticed that my mind was calm. I stopped recently too but I definitely want to in start up again.


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## SFC01

Max Seigel said:


> I also meditated for a few months every day for 20 minutes and it definitely helped my anxiety. I noticed myself observing my thoughts more rather than living in them. In circumstances where my anxiety would normally flare up, I noticed that my mind was calm. I stopped recently too but I definitely want to in start up again.


Agree, when you start to observe thoughts rather than think they are reality is when the benefits of meditation really start to come.

I think of my thoughts as spontaneous universes popping in and out of existence inside a bigger empty space ie my brain (can easily imagine that bit) - it has become almost second nature now. Some people like to practice seeing them as clouds floating by or bubbles in a stream.


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## Max Seigel

The one thing that's difficult for me is to sit still and focus on the meditation sometimes. It's hard to remove yourself from stimulation (i.e. computer, phone). Does anyone have any tips for sitting still?

I feel like you could use some classical conditioning to condition yourself to be happy and enjoy the meditation. Maybe meditate at first while doing something pleasurable like listening to music or eating a candy bar.


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## SFC01

well firstly, you dont have to enjoy the meditation. Its a bit like trying to get fit, you may hate the work out but you do it anyway to hit you goal. I quite enjoy meditating now when I`m not in the mood as it feels like your are really practicing, really dedicated, in the same way as when you go out for a run at 6AM in the freezing rain to get fit.

You could try meditating the same time each day and maybe change you daily routine a little bit so you know you wont be near anything too stimulating at the time.

Another trick I try if I really cant settle is putting both hands on my stomach and concentrating on them going up and down for a few minutes or as long as it takes for the mind to settle.

Or you could always go for a mindful walk instead if you are buzzing too much and concentrate on your footfall and feelings in your feet as you walk rather than a breath orientated practice.


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## Max Seigel

SFC01 said:


> well firstly, you dont have to enjoy the meditation. Its a bit like trying to get fit, you may hate the work out but you do it anyway to hit you goal. I quite enjoy meditating now when I`m not in the mood as it feels like your are really practicing, really dedicated, in the same way as when you go out for a run at 6AM in the freezing rain to get fit.
> 
> You could try meditating the same time each day and maybe change you daily routine a little bit so you know you wont be near anything too stimulating at the time.
> 
> Another trick I try if I really cant settle is putting both hands on my stomach and concentrating on them going up and down for a few minutes or as long as it takes for the mind to settle.
> 
> Or you could always go for a mindful walk instead if you are buzzing too much and concentrate on your footfall and feelings in your feet as you walk rather than a breath orientated practice.


Thanks for the tips! I've done walking meditation and I find that to be pretty relaxing. But that's good to know because I had the mistaken belief that you have to enjoy it, which I do usually. But sometimes I don't feel like doing it and you're right, you gotta push through like that 6AM run.


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## SFC01

Max Seigel said:


> Thanks for the tips! I've done walking meditation and I find that to be pretty relaxing. But that's good to know because I had the mistaken belief that you have to enjoy it, which I do usually. But sometimes I don't feel like doing it and you're right, you gotta push through like that 6AM run.


I`ve been practicing for over a year daily now for 1 to 2 hrs on average, 6 years if you include the other intermittent periods and sometimes I can meditate all day because I am so focused and enjoying it and then the next day I struggle to focus on my breath more than a few times in 20 mins and find it a real chore - thats just how it goes.


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## Max Seigel

SFC01 said:


> I`ve been practicing for over a year daily now for 1 to 2 hrs on average, 6 years if you include the other intermittent periods and sometimes I can meditate all day because I am so focused and enjoying it and then the next day I struggle to focus on my breath more than a few times in 20 mins and find it a real chore - thats just how it goes.


Wow that's pretty good. Has it helped your anxiety?


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## SFC01

Max Seigel said:


> Wow that's pretty good. Has it helped your anxiety?


I also take a MAOI med which helped my anxiety greatly but mindfulness has completely changed my thought process and mopped up any anxiety thats left.

It helps with so much else in life than just anxiety though, sleep, diet, exercise, relationships etc. Its a great practice to stick with but you need to incorporate it into your life.


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## Max Seigel

SFC01 said:


> I also take a MAOI med which helped my anxiety greatly but mindfulness has completely changed my thought process and mopped up any anxiety thats left.
> 
> It helps with so much else in life than just anxiety though, sleep, diet, exercise, relationships etc. Its a great practice to stick with but you need to incorporate it into your life.


Wow that's awesome man! I'm a big proponent of meditation. After reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, I am convinced that it is the best treatment for anxiety and for increasing happiness (by happiness I mean contentment). With meditation, there are little to no risks or drawbacks, yet there are so many benefits. The only difficult thing is sticking with it. But I myself have seen the benefits just from a few months of meditating for 20 minutes/day. I just need to start up again and stick with it.


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## SFC01

Max Seigel said:


> Wow that's awesome man! I'm a big proponent of meditation. After reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, I am convinced that it is the best treatment for anxiety and for increasing happiness (by happiness I mean contentment). With meditation, there are little to no risks or drawbacks, yet there are so many benefits. The only difficult thing is sticking with it. But I myself have seen the benefits just from a few months of meditating for 20 minutes/day. I just need to start up again and stick with it.


Yeah, go for it mate.

I was once so stuck with anxious thoughts about everything, small or large, I thought that I would be that way until the day I died. Even when I read about and first started mindfulness, I always felt that this wont work for me, maybe for other people not as anxious as me, but not me.


----------



## SplendidBob

Struggling to keep up with this heh. Maybe a thing too far for me atm  (weight loss + exposure quite a lot to take on). I am incorporating mindfulness into my daily exposures though. Hope to add back in the meditation soon


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## Strago

Been doing 10 minute sessions which seems like a good length of time for me. I missed yesterdays meditation. Almost forgot on several other days as well. Mornings may not be the best time for me to meditate as I'm not a morning person and I've noticed my memory is much clearer in the afternoon/evening. I think I'll try to switch to meditating after I eat lunch, that feels like something more concrete to connect it with.


----------



## SFC01

Strago said:


> Been doing 10 minute sessions which seems like a good length of time for me. I missed yesterdays meditation. Almost forgot on several other days as well. Mornings may not be the best time for me to meditate as I'm not a morning person and I've noticed my memory is much clearer in the afternoon/evening. I think I'll try to switch to meditating after I eat lunch, that feels like something more concrete to connect it with.


You can install a firefox mindfulness reminder bell which chimes at set intervals as a reminder


----------



## Max Seigel

splendidbob said:


> Struggling to keep up with this heh. Maybe a thing too far for me atm  (weight loss + exposure quite a lot to take on). I am incorporating mindfulness into my daily exposures though. Hope to add back in the meditation soon


Hey man it sounds like you're doing a lot already with your vlog and everything. You're probably doing more than most on here so I wouldn't beat yourself up over it. Habits are tough to form. Trying to form multiple habits at once is really tough to do.

If I had to choose a top 5 habits to help with my SA, I would say meditation, exercise, sleep, music, and reading/watching personal development videos.


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## Strago

@SFC01 Thanks for the suggestion, I will try it out.


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## marsia

splendidbob said:


> Struggling to keep up with this heh. Maybe a thing too far for me atm  (weight loss + exposure quite a lot to take on). I am incorporating mindfulness into my daily exposures though. Hope to add back in the meditation soon


I have the same problem, I get distracted and don't follow through on things like this often. For me, it's also that I have trouble doing things for myself, and either forget to do them or just enjoy the thought of doing them in my head, but just live in the fantasy of how nice it is, instead of actually doing it. For instance, I went to art school, and do art that I really love to do, but I don't do it very often because it's so much easier to just think of what I want to draw in my head. It's actually like some taboo on doing things for myself, and I really have trouble consistently challenging this type of thought.

So I am going to vow to do meditation at least 5 minutes a day this week and also to write back on this thread about how I did and what helped to make myself do it. Maybe we can make a pact to both do something like this for the first few weeks until we get in the habit of establishing a practice?

Thank you for starting this thread, btw. Lots of great info and so great to read all the people's posts on meditating - really encouraging!!


----------



## SplendidBob

marsia said:


> So I am going to vow to do meditation at least 5 minutes a day this week and also to write back on this thread about how I did and what helped to make myself do it. Maybe we can make a pact to both do something like this for the first few weeks until we get in the habit of establishing a practice?
> 
> Thank you for starting this thread, btw. Lots of great info and so great to read all the people's posts on meditating - really encouraging!!


Go on then  - I will do 5 mins per day starting tomorrow, as soon as I wake up (seemed to work best for me that way before).

Np re starting it. I kinda feel a bit guilty as I haven't been able to keep up with it, but I guess others are and the info will be useful.


----------



## SFC01

marsia said:


> So I am going to vow to do meditation at least 5 minutes a day this week and also to write back on this thread about how I did and what helped to make myself do it. Maybe we can make a pact to both do something like this for the first few weeks until we get in the habit of establishing a practice?
> 
> Thank you for starting this thread, btw. Lots of great info and so great to read all the people's posts on meditating - really encouraging!!


Good luck marsia, do you have a book or have you been on a course? A guided course book can be very useful.


----------



## marsia

splendidbob said:


> Go on then  - I will do 5 mins per day starting tomorrow, as soon as I wake up (seemed to work best for me that way before).
> 
> Np re starting it. I kinda feel a bit guilty as I haven't been able to keep up with it, but I guess others are and the info will be useful.


I know how you feel. I also get discouraged from not continuing things. I guess we just have to view dropping things and starting them again as part of the process instead of feeling bad about it.

It usually helps me doing things with others. For instance, I am slowly reading an ACT workbook and filling out the exercises with someone on this site, and it is really rewarding, and I definitely wouldn't have gotten this far without another person doing it with me. I wish people were more open in society in general and there were more free group activities that people could all do together, like how in Asian cultures, you see people all doing Tai Chi together in the park. Maybe I need to start something like that once I get good at overcoming anxiety or meditating!

So if you want to keep making pacts with each other, I'm in!


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## marsia

SFC01 said:


> Good luck marsia, do you have a book or have you been on a course? A guided course book can be very useful.


Thanks! I took a course a long time ago, and also a few recently, so I know what to do, just like doing it better with other people and can make myself accountable if other people expect me to keep going. I guess I should go to a meditation group when my life is calmer!

Are you able to meditate every day without forgetting to?


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## SFC01

marsia said:


> Are you able to meditate every day without forgetting to?


Yes, I started by doing an 8 week course and after that it becomes habit but I plan my meditation on sundays for the week ahead, maybe every other sunday depending on how i feel. I mark them off each day when done, and if I miss one, I add it to the next day.

I`ve also made teeth brushing, bath, showering, driving and making dinner virtually mindful activities all the time, plus I use the firefox mindfulness bell (as above) to keep mindful during that day at work.


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## marsia

SFC01 said:


> Yes, I started by doing an 8 week course and after that it becomes habit but I plan my meditation on sundays for the week ahead, maybe every other sunday depending on how i feel. I mark them off each day when done, and if I miss one, I add it to the next day.
> 
> I`ve also made teeth brushing, bath, showering, driving and making dinner virtually mindful activities all the time, plus I use the firefox mindfulness bell (as above) to keep mindful during that day at work.


Ok, I read your "about me" section on your member page to see if you have trouble with discipline like me, and you are a martial arts guy, so probably not. But I was just reading that people who get good at things that they have to practice on their own make the rest of their life fit in around what they primarily want to accomplish, instead of trying to fit things in like I do. It sounds like that is what you do? It's so weird because until I hit the teen years, I was so disciplined, and if a negative thought came along that said, "why bother" or "do it later" I challenged it and didn't even think to take it seriously, but now it's so easy to either give in to the "do it later" thoughts, or if I am really trying to accomplish something, I just completely forget (and I know that this is not memory problems, but resistance to doing healthy things for myself.)

I think I will put a little piece of tape on my alarm clock that says "meditate!" on it! Ok, going to do that right now!

Thanks for the encouragement!


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## SFC01

@marsia its only this last year that I have been this organised 

Previously I was very much someone who would think "cant be bothered, I`ll do tomorrow"


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## marsia

SFC01 said:


> @marsia its only this last year that I have been this organised
> 
> Previously I was very much someone who would think "cant be bothered, I`ll do tomorrow"


So great that you got organized! I am writing down the times I meditate (last night and this morning so far) and that and the tape on my alarm clock are working so far. I think recording it might be the key for me. All the times I successfully lost weight, I wrote down my exercise regime, and it worked. So thanks for mentioning that - I think this may finally stick!


----------



## SFC01

marsia said:


> So great that you got organized! I am writing down the times I meditate (last night and this morning so far) and that and the tape on my alarm clock are working so far. I think recording it might be the key for me. All the times I successfully lost weight, I wrote down my exercise regime, and it worked. So thanks for mentioning that - I think this may finally stick!


Good stuff marsia, keep it going.

I went through a period of depression and when I found the right med and recovered I made it a priority to change things around, so I started off with small steps and wrote everything down, from calories, mediation, mood, exercise etc - I cant stop doing it now. I even tracked moon phases and earths magentic fields against my mood at one point :grin2:

You can always pm or ask me on this thread if you have anything to share or ask re meditation (not that I`m an expert).


----------



## marsia

SFC01 said:


> Good stuff marsia, keep it going.
> 
> I went through a period of depression and when I found the right med and recovered I made it a priority to change things around, so I started off with small steps and wrote everything down, from calories, mediation, mood, exercise etc - I cant stop doing it now. I even tracked moon phases and earths magentic fields against my mood at one point :grin2:
> 
> You can always pm or ask me on this thread if you have anything to share or ask re meditation (not that I`m an expert).


My husband takes life notes on little pieces of folded paper with the tiniest little notes all over it - I always thought it was so quirky, but now I see from talking to you that it works, too! Thanks for the invitation to PM you - I may take you up on that!


----------



## Max Seigel

Just meditated for the first time last night in several months. I actually was feeling very stressed beforehand but afterwards it was so incredibly relaxing. By the end I was feeling pins and needles, probably a result of lowering my blood pressure. My mind also felt really calm. The magic of meditation lol. Anyway looking forward to reforming this habit.


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## marsia

splendidbob said:


> Go on then  - I will do 5 mins per day starting tomorrow, as soon as I wake up (seemed to work best for me that way before).
> 
> Np re starting it. I kinda feel a bit guilty as I haven't been able to keep up with it, but I guess others are and the info will be useful.


How's it going? Are you able to do the 5 minutes each day? I've been doing it, but I fall asleep a lot, so may do this morning's over as it was mostly napping! How are the weight loss and exposure therapy going? I am also starting again at the gym, and that plus meditation are all I can handle right now, so I understand if it is too much to add the meditation in also!


----------



## SplendidBob

marsia said:


> How's it going? Are you able to do the 5 minutes each day? I've been doing it, but I fall asleep a lot, so may do this morning's over as it was mostly napping! How are the weight loss and exposure therapy going? I am also starting again at the gym, and that plus meditation are all I can handle right now, so I understand if it is too much to add the meditation in also!


I missed one yesterday, but will do another right now to catch up 

Exposure, yeh, difficult today, kinda getting fed up with shops and stuff (see slightly angry bob in my vlog thread hehe), will see what my therapist suggests tomorrow about that. Weight loss is all according to plan, neck might be improving, I might start wandering round the gyms in the area soon, should give me a few days of tasks at least. Dont fancy town centres for exposure atm 

Thanks for asking


----------



## SplendidBob

There we go, caught up


----------



## SFC01

marsia said:


> How's it going? Are you able to do the 5 minutes each day? I've been doing it, but I fall asleep a lot, so may do this morning's over as it was mostly napping! How are the weight loss and exposure therapy going? I am also starting again at the gym, and that plus meditation are all I can handle right now, so I understand if it is too much to add the meditation in also!


Do you lie down meditating marsia ? Sitting can help with dosing off or even standing !!! I`ve had to stand up quite a few time becasue I just couldn't stay awake.


----------



## marsia

splendidbob said:


> I missed one yesterday, but will do another right now to catch up
> 
> Exposure, yeh, difficult today, kinda getting fed up with shops and stuff (see slightly angry bob in my vlog thread hehe), will see what my therapist suggests tomorrow about that. Weight loss is all according to plan, neck might be improving, I might start wandering round the gyms in the area soon, should give me a few days of tasks at least. Dont fancy town centres for exposure atm
> 
> Thanks for asking


Hey, I watched a few of your exposure vids and they are so wonderful!!! I so empathize with you trying to figure out timing, if the person is just in a bad mood, what in the world to talk about, how to stop ruminating on how you did, etc. It's very helpful seeing other people go through the same awkwardness, the same wondering why the conversation didn't go so well, and the same feeling of happiness that a totally mundane conversation went well. I am really routing for you!! If I find a good source for how to do small talk, I'll let you know because I am really bad at it and have always wanted someone to teach me that! Maybe your therapist can teach you and you could let us know what she says?

One thing I notice with me trying to talk with people, is that the better I feel about myself, and the happier I am, the more most people respond positively. It's like if I don't need anything from them because I am content with myself, I do better talking with them, and they respond more favorably. I was thinking today that people mostly want to be liked and for others to be happy so that the happiness can rub off on them. I have been practicing smiling at strangers with the thought in my head that we probably have so much in common and that I am happy to see them. People's faces light up when I do this, and it makes me feel so good to do so well with interacting. Usually I look down when I see someone, because I tend to feel inferior to people who are more outgoing. I have decided that I am not inferior to anyone, and I am going to start just being happy and appreciating the good things about myself instead of hiding because I have some social deficits. Everyone has faults, and mine don't hurt anyone, so screw it, I am going to be happy with myself!

Have you ever tried doing gentle yoga stretches for your neck? It's weird, mine started really hurting today. I think it might be because I just joined a gym and took a class that was too hard and it messed with my back and neck. I am at that stage when you first start out where you are so tired from working out new muscles. It feels good though, and I am really happy I finally did this!

As for meditation, I tend to fall asleep a lot, and I have been experimenting with that. I have found that if I focus on not falling asleep, it's a big fight to stay awake. But if I shift my focus to something I care about, like how the underlying feeling under all the thoughts and sleepiness is calm and peaceful, I can explore the peacefulness and not get in a fight to stay awake. I think it's that thing of focusing on something positive rather than trying to fight away a negative thing, which just makes your attention stay on the negative, which makes it worse.

How are you finding the meditation? Is it hard for you to stay focused?

Anyway, thank you so much for posting about your experiences doing meditation and exposure therapy! Really helpful and encouraging and brave! And you look really nice - please don't feel self-conscious about your looks!


----------



## marsia

SFC01 said:


> Do you lie down meditating marsia ? Sitting can help with dosing off or even standing !!! I`ve had to stand up quite a few time becasue I just couldn't stay awake.


Hey! I used to lie down, but that makes me too sleepy. I experimented yesterday more after I read your post and found that meditating without the lights on was making me too sleepy, so I turned a light on this morning, and it went a lot better. I like the idea of standing if I am too sleepy - will try that. Also I realized that I was fighting with sleepiness (focusing on it so much that it got worse to the point that I could have my eyes as wide as I could get them and they would want to roll back and shut like I was hypnotized to sleep), so I found something positive to focus on, like how relaxing it is to feel the breath and then when the meditation went deeper, to feel the sense of peace under all the thoughts. I still get caught in a lot of thoughts, but I don't mind. It's all just practice in distancing more and more from thoughts and sinking deeper into peacefulness. It's the same with how to overcome social anxiety and how to meditate well - recognizing that thoughts are mostly just opinions and reactions, not reality, and that I don't have to buy into thoughts that don't serve me or help me be happier.

Anyway, thanks for the support - it got me thinking about new things to try and to actually try a few things out!


----------



## SplendidBob

marsia said:


> Hey, I watched a few of your exposure vids and they are so wonderful!!! I so empathize with you trying to figure out timing, if the person is just in a bad mood, what in the world to talk about, how to stop ruminating on how you did, etc. It's very helpful seeing other people go through the same awkwardness, the same wondering why the conversation didn't go so well, and the same feeling of happiness that a totally mundane conversation went well. I am really routing for you!! If I find a good source for how to do small talk, I'll let you know because I am really bad at it and have always wanted someone to teach me that! Maybe your therapist can teach you and you could let us know what she says?


Thank you, yeh, I am getting there slowly now 



marsia said:


> One thing I notice with me trying to talk with people, is that the better I feel about myself, and the happier I am, the more most people respond positively. It's like if I don't need anything from them because I am content with myself, I do better talking with them, and they respond more favorably. I was thinking today that people mostly want to be liked and for others to be happy so that the happiness can rub off on them. I have been practicing smiling at strangers with the thought in my head that we probably have so much in common and that I am happy to see them. People's faces light up when I do this, and it makes me feel so good to do so well with interacting. Usually I look down when I see someone, because I tend to feel inferior to people who are more outgoing. I have decided that I am not inferior to anyone, and I am going to start just being happy and appreciating the good things about myself instead of hiding because I have some social deficits. Everyone has faults, and mine don't hurt anyone, so screw it, I am going to be happy with myself!


Yup, like I say in an earlier vid, smiling makes all the difference in the world, and it's a shame because the more smiley and open your body language is, the better reactions you get, and the more open and smiley you become. Unfortunately anxiety causes the opposite, closed off body language, frowning, which gets worse reactions and feeds the notion that people are unfriendly. I have to literally go in and force this stuff 



marsia said:


> Have you ever tried doing gentle yoga stretches for your neck? It's weird, mine started really hurting today. I think it might be because I just joined a gym and took a class that was too hard and it messed with my back and neck. I am at that stage when you first start out where you are so tired from working out new muscles. It feels good though, and I am really happy I finally did this!


It's disc bulges / herniation in my case. Fortunately the standing desk seems to already be helping (and it's only two days), naturally, it makes it harder on my knees / legs, but this neck problem has been here for so long I will take it. Atm, I stand at my desk then when it gets too tiring, I lie down on my bed with a heat bad on my neck  fingers crossed it works.



marsia said:


> How are you finding the meditation? Is it hard for you to stay focused?
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much for posting about your experiences doing meditation and exposure therapy! Really helpful and encouraging and brave! And you look really nice - please don't feel self-conscious about your looks!


Always find it hard to stay focused, but that's the point of it - I failed yesterday because of my plague like illness, but stuck in 10 mins today to make up for it 

Ty for the comments on my looks


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## SFC01

Just though I would add my mindfulness routine in times of low mood or anxiety. Anyone has any other ideas to add ? 

Low mood / Depression - 

1) Mindful walking (cant beat a nice walk anyway but I make it mindful)
2) Mountain meditation (imagine being a mountain going through the seasons from Spring thru to Spring), 
3) Loving Kindness (may i be happy, may you be happy, may we all be happy etc)
4) Tonglen practice (breath in your pain/sadness and everyone elses, and then breath out happiness/good will)
5) Sounds followed by thought labeling (sounds are very much like thoughts, coming and going so I find it useful to put the two together)

For Anxiety, I would add to the above mindful yoga followed by a body scan.


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## Cassoulet94

I try to meditate but I tend to fall asleep while doing it.


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## SplendidBob

Cassoulet94 said:


> I try to meditate but I tend to fall asleep while doing it.


Sit up, or stand up  I guess


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## SFC01

splendidbob said:


> Sit up, or stand up  I guess


Or keep your eyes open !! No, I'm not being silly - most people close their eyes whilst meditating I would have thought but you can do it with your eyes open and your gaze lowered but you may lose some focus that way, especially if just starting out.

At the end of the day, if you want meditation to work then you have to take it seriously like you would any other practice or training and find ways to overcome difficulties like falling asleep.


----------



## Strago

I guess I'm lucky in that my chronic insomnia actually makes me have no difficulty staying awake while meditating. Mainly for me its just that since I don't notice any effect from it, short term or long term, I felt little motivation to keep at it regularly.

So far I'm still keeping up with the 10 minutes of meditation a day. The 10 minutes doesn't feel like quite as long a time as it did at the beginning, which I think is a good sign? The mindfulness bell app SFC01 suggested has been helping me out. I set it to play every hour, so I'm reminded to do my meditation if I haven't yet for the day. Each time it goes off I also try to spend 30 seconds being mindful and aware of the moment.


----------



## SFC01

Strago said:


> I guess I'm lucky in that my chronic insomnia actually makes me have no difficulty staying awake while meditating. Mainly for me its just that since I don't notice any effect from it, short term or long term, I felt little motivation to keep at it regularly.
> 
> So far I'm still keeping up with the 10 minutes of meditation a day. The 10 minutes doesn't feel like quite as long a time as it did at the beginning, which I think is a good sign? The mindfulness bell app SFC01 suggested has been helping me out. I set it to play every hour, so I'm reminded to do my meditation if I haven't yet for the day. Each time it goes off I also try to spend 30 seconds being mindful and aware of the moment.


I would say its a good sign that things are progressing when the time passes quicker (nothing wrong with being bored whilst meditating though). It may suggest your capacity to be with the breath or sounds etc is increasing and hopefully this will soon start to spill over into daily life.

Glad the bell is doing the trick, I set mine every 30mins and do what you do, be mindful for a short time and make a point of carrying that mindfulness over to the next task at hand, either work or play.


----------



## marsia

splendidbob said:


> Thank you, yeh, I am getting there slowly now


Ok, so it's been a week. I meditated 5 days for 5 minutes or longer, but I would like to remember to meditate every day. It really worked keeping the light on and getting up at 5:45 to do it, so I am going to keep doing that. The electricity went off and I had reset my alarm for 6 am and those were the 2 days I didn't meditate, so it goes back to 5:45! I feel better even with a weird cold that is making me very achy (or maybe it was from overdoing it at the gym or some combo of both?) Anyway, I am able to catch myself going into weird thought loops more now and disengaging from those, and I feel calmer and like my mind is less cluttered. Feels good!

How did you do with the rest of your week as far as meditation? Do you want to do another week long 5 minute a day challenge? We could make it longer periods of meditating if you like. Once I start the meditation session, I can do longer times than 5 minutes, I just have trouble keeping the schedule up day to day.


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## SparklingWater

marsia said:


> Ok, so it's been a week. I meditated 5 days for 5 minutes or longer, but I would like to remember to meditate every day. It really worked keeping the light on and getting up at 5:45 to do it, so I am going to keep doing that. The electricity went off and I had reset my alarm for 6 am and those were the 2 days I didn't meditate, so it goes back to 5:45! I feel better even with a weird cold that is making me very achy (or maybe it was from overdoing it at the gym or some combo of both?) Anyway, I am able to catch myself going into weird thought loops more now and disengaging from those, and I feel calmer and like my mind is less cluttered. Feels good!
> 
> How did you do with the rest of your week as far as meditation? Do you want to do another week long 5 minute a day challenge? We could make it longer periods of meditating if you like. Once I start the meditation session, I can do longer times than 5 minutes, I just have trouble keeping the schedule up day to day.


Ooooo! I'm totally in for a challenge! Sign me up for at least 5 minutes a day. I could probably do 10, but anymore might be pushing it lol


----------



## marsia

SFC01 said:


> Or keep your eyes open !! No, I'm not being silly - most people close their eyes whilst meditating I would have thought but you can do it with your eyes open and your gaze lowered but you may lose some focus that way, especially if just starting out.
> 
> At the end of the day, if you want meditation to work then you have to take it seriously like you would any other practice or training and find ways to overcome difficulties like falling asleep.


I completely and totally agree! I constantly catch myself falling asleep, to the degree that now I can catch myself just as I start falling asleep and wake myself up instantly - I have that much practice with it. I actually don't mind about falling asleep anymore, because it gets me in touch with the observer part of myself that can notice that I am falling asleep and tell me to wake up. So it's similar to noticing when you are lost in thought - a deeper, calmer part of yourself notices you are lost in sleep or in thought and lets you know. It is all just practicing being aware of what it is you are doing with each moment, and the longer you practice, the better you can really be present because you start to be able to observe from a distance rather than be swept up in sleepiness or negative thought.

I have to meditate with my eyes very slightly open and my focus blurred. I also stare at a spot a little in front of me on the ground, so it isn't too interesting and distracting. It is hard at first to do this, but I am starting to get used to it again after not having meditated in a while. I am still experimenting with this, and for me, if there is enough light, I don't fall asleep. So opening my eyes enough to barely notice that it is light is what helps me the most. I don't keep a lot of attention on what I am seeing, just enough to not let the images that come when you first start to fall asleep hook my attention.

One of the really hard things for me is that my mind wants to label the meditation session as a failure if I fall asleep too much, but noticing just once that you are in a thought loop or that you are drifting asleep is one more instance of learning to observe instead of going on automatic and not being present. So every time I remember to bring myself back to the breath is a little victory. I really agree, it is just like learning a sport or figuring out how to get in back in shape. I really like what you said about taking this seriously as a type of training! Thanks!


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## SFC01

marsia said:


> One of the really hard things for me is that my mind wants to label the meditation session as a failure if I fall asleep too much, but noticing just once that you are in a thought loop or that you are drifting asleep is one more instance of learning to observe instead of going on automatic and not being present. So every time I remember to bring myself back to the breath is a little victory.


This is absoliutely correct marsia and is something that a lot of people, beginners and more experienced alike, should take note of as its so easy to start labeling practices as a failure and to then maybe get a bit frustrated (and even give up on it)

Any practice is a good practice !


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## SplendidBob

@marsia @realisticandhopeful lemme check Bob's spreadsheet of doom and despair... missed 1 day, the rest 10 mins, actually need to do todays, will do right this very damn instant


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## marsia

splendidbob said:


> @marsia @realisticandhopeful lemme check Bob's spreadsheet of doom and despair... missed 1 day, the rest 10 mins, actually need to do todays, will do right this very damn instant


Oooo, a spreadsheet of doom and despair - I want one of those, too! You could seriously market that! My 10 year old loves the name Bob, and names all her characters when she plays things like Bobbette, Bobbert, Bobbito,... I have to tell her about Bob's spreadsheet of doom and despair!!!!

Ok, so we're on for 10 minutes each day this week?


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## marsia

realisticandhopeful said:


> Ooooo! I'm totally in for a challenge! Sign me up for at least 5 minutes a day. I could probably do 10, but anymore might be pushing it lol


Ok, let's do at least 5 minutes a day this week! Maybe one of us can remember to check in mid way through and see how we are doing? So happy to have meditation buddies!!!


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## SplendidBob

marsia said:


> Oooo, a spreadsheet of doom and despair - I want one of those, too! You could seriously market that! My 10 year old loves the name Bob, and names all her characters when she plays things like Bobbette, Bobbert, Bobbito,... I have to tell her about Bob's spreadsheet of doom and despair!!!!
> 
> Ok, so we're on for 10 minutes each day this week?


Yup 

Bobbert is the finest name of all.


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## SFC01

Good luck to the meditation buddies - keep at it !!


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## harrison

Interesting to read many of the posts in this thread - thanks for starting it Bob.

I will put this youtube video in here - I came across this guy a few months ago after I'd been to the dentist and had a tooth out. He does hypnosis ones too - the pain one really helped me. I found that using it I could take the pain down from about 7 or 8 (out of 10) to about 2. I was desperate at the time and was very grateful.

He also has one for insomnia for the user above that has problems with that. @Strago

Not sure how his voice will be received - I am very sensitive to voices etc and tried a few others before I got to him as they just annoyed me.  I guess it's a very personal thing.

I know for me though having someone guide me through it is easier - if I just sit and try to meditate I find it really hard.


----------



## harrison

These are his ones for anxiety and insomnia too, hope it's okay to put them here.


----------



## Max Seigel

don said:


> These are his ones for anxiety and insomnia too, hope it's okay to put them here.


Ooooh I listen to these every night. It definitely helps me fall asleep. I have a bit of insomnia (probably due to my anxiety more than anything. But hypnosis is amazing!


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## Max Seigel

Does anyone on here incorporate music into their meditation? If so how? And does it help?


----------



## SFC01

Max Seigel said:


> Does anyone on here incorporate music into their meditation? If so how? And does it help?


I used to post on a mindfulness forum and there was one guy who would spend the whole day listening to music and using it as his mindfulness anchor insead of the breath - he was very experienced.

I guess as long it works to keep you in the present moment, breath, sounds, thoughts, music can all be used and they can all be used together in what is known as choiceless awareness - ie whatever takes you attention moment to moment.


----------



## Strago

@don I've never had any luck with hypnosis, but I tried using the first video anyway for my daily meditation today anyway. Thanks.


----------



## SparklingWater

Done yesterday 3/7 and today 3/8! Yay on a roll!


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## SplendidBob

70 mins so far this month, starting to get into a habit again


----------



## Cassoulet94

SFC01 said:


> Or keep your eyes open !! No, I'm not being silly - most people close their eyes whilst meditating I would have thought but you can do it with your eyes open and your gaze lowered but you may lose some focus that way, especially if just starting out.
> 
> At the end of the day, if you want meditation to work then you have to take it seriously like you would any other practice or training and find ways to overcome difficulties like falling asleep.


Haha I'm doing it seriously, but try closing your eyes and being relaxed in the evening while taking 60mg of parnate. There is no way you won't fall alseep.

The obvious solution is not to do it in the evening, which I am now doing, but I have less time.


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## Cassoulet94

splendidbob said:


> Sit up, or stand up  I guess


I try while standing, very bad advice, I felt asleep and then I felt on the floor and hurt my head real bad. Thank you, really.


----------



## SFC01

Cassoulet94 said:


> Haha I'm doing it seriously, but try closing your eyes and being relaxed in the evening while taking 60mg of parnate. There is no way you won't fall alseep.
> 
> The obvious solution is not to do it in the evening, which I am now doing, but I have less time.




The taking it seriously dig wasn't aimed at you Cass !!

but in general, a lot of people think its some kind of leisurely activity to be done when you have a moment or feel in the right mood and then wonder why its not working for them.


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## SplendidBob

Cassoulet94 said:


> I try while standing, very bad advice, I felt asleep and then I felt on the floor and hurt my head real bad. Thank you, really.


Hmm, didn't you do it on the edge of a cliff to maximise the danger induced wakefulness? Sorry, I just assumed that would be obvious


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## marsia

splendidbob said:


> 70 mins so far this month, starting to get into a habit again


So cool! Really glad you are posting about this - it's really helping me establish this as a habit!


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## marsia

splendidbob said:


> Hmm, didn't you do it on the edge of a cliff to maximise the danger induced wakefulness? Sorry, I just assumed that would be obvious


If a meditator falls off a cliff in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?


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## marsia

realisticandhopeful said:


> Done yesterday 3/7 and today 3/8! Yay on a roll!


:banana:high5:banana


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## marsia

Meditated Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday this week so far - forgot on Sunday and Monday - maybe will try to do extra little sessions to make up for it. I do 20 minutes normally, but maybe I will promise myself to just do a 5 minute make up session so I actually do it. Noticing a change where I am engaging in my life more already and catching myself when I get in thought loops a lot more than usual. I hope, I hope I can make this a regular part of my life!!


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## 629753

splendidbob said:


> 70 mins so far this month, starting to get into a habit again


what benefits do you notice? Did you achieve peace?


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## SplendidBob

impedido10 said:


> what benefits do you notice? Did you achieve peace?


From 7 days, nothing.

When I did it for 2-3 months consistently previously it kinda acted as a "reset" on my brain somehow, had brighter moods afterwards etc and more chilled in general.

I am not expecting anything for at least that long, and I am not expecting it to magically solve my problems, just add a 1 or 2 out of 10 to my happiness


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## SFC01

For the meditation gang, thought I'd share a practice I got from Ron Siegel (he has free downloads if you search Ron Siegel mindfulness) called breath sampler and it looks at ways of staying focused on the breath. I do each step for 5 mins but you can choose any duration you want. I`ve found it very useful when struggling to stay with the breath if I'm too amped up or feel particularly bored - 

Step 1) Just focus on the breath in the tummy and imagine the feeling of breath is new to you.

Step 2) Carry on with the breath in your tummy but silently note rising - falling whilst keeping main focus on breath.

Step 3) Turn attention to the feeling of the breath in the nostrils, feel the slightly cool sensation on the in breath and warm sensation on the out breath. It's a bit more tricky to notice these sensations at the start but you soon start to notice.

Step 4) Stay with the sensation in your nostrils but as in step 2, siliently note in and out etc

Step 5) Pick either your breath in the tummy or nostrils and see if you can count up to 50 breaths without losing focus. Treat it as a little game and see how high you can get, if you lose count or focus, start back at zero and try again.


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## Cassoulet94

splendidbob said:


> Cassoulet94 said:
> 
> 
> 
> I try while standing, very bad advice, I felt asleep and then I felt on the floor and hurt my head real bad. Thank you, really.
> 
> 
> 
> Hmm, didn't you do it on the edge of a cliff to maximise the danger induced wakefulness? Sorry, I just assumed that would be obvious
Click to expand...

Oh well we don't have any good cliff around here but I know a rooftop that should do it just hope it works better this time altitude tends to make me sleepy.

Crappy joke aside I have been doing it for a week, I feel relaxed afterward but I still don't manage to "watch my thoughts". I guess this is the hard part.


----------



## Cassoulet94

SFC01 said:


> Cassoulet94 said:
> 
> 
> 
> Haha I'm doing it seriously, but try closing your eyes and being relaxed in the evening while taking 60mg of parnate. There is no way you won't fall alseep.
> 
> The obvious solution is not to do it in the evening, which I am now doing, but I have less time.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The taking it seriously dig wasn't aimed at you Cass !!
> 
> but in general, a lot of people think its some kind of leisurely activity to be done when you have a moment or feel in the right mood and then wonder why its not working for them.
Click to expand...

Yeah np ! I can understand though it's often when you need it more that it is the most tempting not to do it. Like when you feel depressed or anxious.


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## SFC01

Cassoulet94 said:


> Oh well we don't have any good cliff around here but I know a rooftop that should do it just hope it works better this time altitude tends to make me sleepy.
> 
> Crappy joke aside I have been doing it for a week, I feel relaxed afterward but I still don't manage to "watch my thoughts". I guess this is the hard part.


The watching thoughts bit will come in time, remember you need to train the brain that way, get all the wires working in that manner so to speak.

One good way to start watching thoughts is to start by listening to sounds around you, just try and listen and not to think what they are, listen to them come and go - its very similar to how thoughts come and go and it may get you in the flow of things.


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## Cassoulet94

SFC01 said:


> The watching thoughts bit will come in time, remember you need to train the brain that way, get all the wires working in that manner so to speak.
> 
> One good way to start watching thoughts is to start by listening to sounds around you, just try and listen and not to think what they are, listen to them come and go - its very similar to how thoughts come and go and it may get you in the flow of things.


Will try. Right now I can't help but to identify each sound. I don't even have enough concentration not to listen and understand if I can hear some people speak, I have some way to go !

I pulled out my Buddhism texts from my time in China to get myself in the mood (not that I am a believer but i like Buddhism) and I just read that at some point if you do it seriously you can become able not to hear the sounds around you, must be sick to reach this level of inner concentration !


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## SFC01

yeah, people speaking is a bit different to the other sounds, its impossible not to listen - its a bit like looking at some writing - if its a word written in your native language you will read it but if its in a foreign language, say chinese for example, you will probably just notice the patterns.

Try to focus on just the sensations in the ears, all sensations, as you would ina body scan then maybe you will notice just the sound instead of identifying it or reaching out for it - try thinking of the different sounds in the same way as different notes or beats in music.


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## SFC01

couple of links for those who are interested -

http://marc.ucla.edu/meditation-at-the-hammer

http://marc.ucla.edu/mindful-meditations


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## SplendidBob

Thanks for keeping this one goinf @SFC01 

I have been ramping up my own meditation, half an hour ish per day atm 

btw did you ever get modafinil prescribed?


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## SFC01

splendidbob said:


> Thanks for keeping this one goinf @*SFC01*
> 
> I have been ramping up my own meditation, half an hour ish per day atm
> 
> btw did you ever get modafinil prescribed?


Glad to hear the meditation is still going mate - keep it up.

Not been back to see the shrink yet bob re modafanil, going next week so am going to ask him then, although I`m hearing mixed results about it !!

I`m sure you all hear about it if I get it !! and any spare I`ll stick in the post to you mate .


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## SplendidBob

SFC01 said:


> I`m sure you all hear about it if I get it !! and any spare I`ll stick in the post to you mate .


Mind reader 

Still not sure if the stuff I get online is legit Modafinil or just caffeine pills 

Yeh, meditation I am finding quite helpful pre exposure exercises, keeps the old physical anxiety under control .


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## SparklingWater

Oh nice. So my week from 3/7- 3/14 i did get at least 10 minutes a day. Yay!The most was 22 mins one day ( i really like that number so figured it was a good stopping point lol.) I think I'll do another week challenge as well with 15 mins a day my minimum goal.

@marsia How did the week go for you?


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## SFC01

realisticandhopeful said:


> Oh nice. So my week from 3/7- 3/14 i did get at least 10 minutes a day. Yay!The most was 22 mins one day ( i really like that number so figured it was a good stopping point lol.) I think I'll do another week challenge as well with 15 mins a day my minimum goal.


Good to hear and stick with it - remember if you dont feel like you have 15 mins spare, dont give in, just do a shorter one, even just a few mins !! They all add up


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## 629753

What benefits are you guys ganing? I just notice i think less.



SFC01 said:


> Good to hear and stick with it - remember if you dont feel like you have 15 mins spare, dont give in, just do a shorter one, even just a few mins !! They all add up


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## SplendidBob

impedido10 said:


> What benefits are you guys ganing? I just notice i think less.


Because I am purposefully doing it while slowing my out breathing (which does stuff re carbon monoxide) I am feeling much calmer out and about as I am tending to breath more like this out there too (during meditation my second 5 mins I am doing a 4 in count and a 26 out count).

It's also starting to get to that stage (I had this before last year), where the stuff that does pop into my head is good memories (rather than worries). I find this a particularly good sign.


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## 629753

splendidbob said:


> Because I am purposefully doing it while slowing my out breathing (which does stuff re carbon monoxide) I am feeling much calmer out and about as I am tending to breath more like this out there too (during meditation my second 5 mins I am doing a 4 in count and a 26 out count).
> 
> It's also starting to get to that stage (I had this before last year), where the stuff that does pop into my head is good memories (rather than worries). I find this a particularly good sign.


Wow, that never happened to me. Damn.


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## SparklingWater

impedido10 said:


> What benefits are you guys ganing? I just notice i think less.


Decreased reactionary response (ability to slow down my reactions and think more clearly,) increased relaxation in body, less anxious baseline.

I think less first and then the other stuff comes along with consistency (i've been doing mindfulness off and on for the last 2 years at least. This is my attempt to make it a daily habit again.)


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## SplendidBob

impedido10 said:


> Wow, that never happened to me. Damn.


This was the first positive thing I noticed last time, I started getting happy memories (amusingly, and embarrassingly enough) about World of Warcraft (lol).

The first time round it took maybe a month or two, but this time I have ramped up my daily practice time so I might be seeing the benefits earlier on .


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## Strago

No real change with me. Still doing 10 minutes a day, haven't noticed any affects. I have realized that the days I feel the worst are usually the days I forget to meditate, which are probably the days I should be doing it the most.


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## marsia

realisticandhopeful said:


> Oh nice. So my week from 3/7- 3/14 i did get at least 10 minutes a day. Yay!The most was 22 mins one day ( i really like that number so figured it was a good stopping point lol.) I think I'll do another week challenge as well with 15 mins a day my minimum goal.
> 
> @marsia How did the week go for you?


So great!!! I'll do another week challenge with you, and I'll go for 20 minutes each day for me, and try harder to make up the time if I skip a day.

I did 5 days for 20 minutes and 1 day for 10, and am going to make up the other day right now. I have bronchitis, so am on cold medicine, so how meditation is affecting me is a little skewed, but I am definitely able to have more distance from thoughts, including thoughts about the discomfort of being sick. I also noticed that if I focus deeply on all the sensations of being sleepy that they change into something more energetic usually, so I may have found a way to stay awake more while meditating!


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## marsia

Strago said:


> No real change with me. Still doing 10 minutes a day, haven't noticed any affects. I have realized that the days I feel the worst are usually the days I forget to meditate, which are probably the days I should be doing it the most.


I used to meditate a lot, so getting back to it, I do see benefits right away, but when I first started to meditate, I didn't really see benefits for a long while. I think it's a cumulative thing. Really great you are keeping it up!


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## SplendidBob

Gotta do mine today now  Averaged 30 mins plus a day the last week. Tried for 45 mins yesterday, but after about 35 my mind just wanders too much.


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## marsia

splendidbob said:


> Gotta do mine today now  Averaged 30 mins plus a day the last week. Tried for 45 mins yesterday, but after about 35 my mind just wanders too much.


Wow!!! 

I did 20 minutes all week, and am proud of myself for doing a makeup session today. I may try longer periods this week. Do you still want to post progress?


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## SplendidBob

marsia said:


> Wow!!!
> 
> I did 20 minutes all week, and am proud of myself for doing a makeup session today. I may try longer periods this week. Do you still want to post progress?


I sense this week might be more difficult for me


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## marsia

splendidbob said:


> I sense this week might be more difficult for me


Why more difficult? Could you go back to a little less time each session?


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## SplendidBob

marsia said:


> Why more difficult? Could you go back to a little less time each session?


Spectacular mood crash, pretty much all the stuff I have been working on I can't really face atm. If I were to meditate it would be back to 2 minutes  - probably should do that though at least.


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## SFC01

I know its hard to believe but it is the best time to meditate @splendidbob.

Dont know if you have ever tried a tonglen practice where you breath in your and others pain, sadness etc and breath out happiness/peace etc ? Always helps my mood.


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## marsia

splendidbob said:


> Spectacular mood crash, pretty much all the stuff I have been working on I can't really face atm. If I were to meditate it would be back to 2 minutes  - probably should do that though at least.


Ok then, new pact. I promise to do every make up session this week if you promise 2 minutes a day! And sorry to hear about the mood crash. Remember to just observe it from a distance, it's not you, it's just a passing storm!


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## marsia

SFC01 said:


> I know its hard to believe but it is the best time to meditate @splendidbob.
> 
> Dont know if you have ever tried a tonglen practice where you breath in your and others pain, sadness etc and breath out happiness/peace etc ? Always helps my mood.


That sounds great - going to try it!


----------



## SparklingWater

marsia said:


> Ok then, new pact. I promise to do every make up session this week if you promise 2 minutes a day! And sorry to hear about the mood crash. Remember to just observe it from a distance, it's not you, it's just a passing storm!


Hey Marsia! Do you do a lot of ACT by Russ harris or steven hayes? Sounds a lot like mindfulness from that perspective. You just reminded me of a lot of stuff i've learned and need to brush up on. Will break out my books again. Hugs!


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## SplendidBob

@SFC01 Yeh I know, that's the tricky part 
@marsia deal.


----------



## marsia

realisticandhopeful said:


> Hey Marsia! Do you do a lot of ACT by Russ harris or steven hayes? Sounds a lot like mindfulness from that perspective. You just reminded me of a lot of stuff i've learned and need to brush up on. Will break out my books again. Hugs!


Yeah, the workbook I am doing is Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life by Steven Hayes. It's very dense, but really helpful because you have to do exercises for it once you read the chapter. I'm a little over half way through the workbook now and it's already really helping with separating from anxious thoughts. I can't usually do it in the moment of being anxious yet, but I can stop myself from ruminating on social situations now, and I can stop beating myself up for being anxious. I'm a lot more supportive of myself now. What ACT books did you read and how did they help you?


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## SplendidBob

@marsia I have failed so far, but did 15 mins today and will resume again


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## SFC01

Another link for you all if you need some new guided stuff - Dr Ron Siegel -

http://www.mindfulness-solution.com/DownloadMeditations.html

I recommend the mountain meditation in times of worry or stress. It also has a guided loving kindness and tonglen practice, all good for anxiety / depression.


----------



## SplendidBob

SFC01 said:


> Another link for you all if you need some new guided stuff - Dr Ron Siegel -
> 
> http://www.mindfulness-solution.com/DownloadMeditations.html
> 
> I recommend the mountain meditation in times of worry or stress. It also has a guided loving kindness and tonglen practice, all good for anxiety / depression.


Interesting, just did the pain one, could be useful for me


----------



## marsia

splendidbob said:


> @marsia I have failed so far, but did 15 mins today and will resume again


I had trouble remembering to meditate, as well for the last 2 days. Actually wasn't sleeping well so didn't do morning meditation and forgot until late in the day and then did 4 or 5 minutes in bad environment. Will resume today, too. Good to check in and support each other! Hope you can tap in to the peace underneath the storm of feelings!


----------



## 629753

marsia said:


> I had trouble remembering to meditate, as well for the last 2 days. Actually wasn't sleeping well so didn't do morning meditation and forgot until late in the day and then did 4 or 5 minutes in bad environment. Will resume today, too. Good to check in and support each other! Hope you can tap in to the peace underneath the storm of feelings!


HAve you seen a lot of improvements? The improvements show up slowly, very slowly lol


----------



## SFC01

splendidbob said:


> Interesting, just did the pain one, could be useful for me


The urge surfing for pain - hope it helps.

I used the urge surfing for craving one when I was trying to lose weight, came in very handy.


----------



## ladyscuttle

I don't know how I came across this app, but I found something called "Insight Timer." Thousands of free meditations. Also gives you a social aspect of it that you can choose to utilize, but don't have to. Definitely check it out!


----------



## SFC01

ladyscuttle said:


> I don't know how I came across this app, but I found something called "Insight Timer." Thousands of free meditations. Also gives you a social aspect of it that you can choose to utilize, but don't have to. Definitely check it out!


i use this app too - its good


----------



## marsia

impedido10 said:


> HAve you seen a lot of improvements? The improvements show up slowly, very slowly lol


I think many things in life are tiny incremental improvements. The media shows the best of the best at something and shows the pinnacle of what they accomplished, but rarely shows the thousands of hours it takes to master something, the many, many times people try something and it doesn't work but it gives a determined person feedback so they know more for the next try, and also most things that are worthwhile in life we aren't necessarily naturally gifted at. Meditation is definitely like that. It is tiny incremental changes that over the course of a year you may not notice until you look back and see just how much better it is making you feel. Just the act of doing something that requires patience and persistence is doing me a lot of good. I have made so many mistakes in life based on trying to do things the easy, quick way instead of the way that I know works. So let's encourage each other to keep at this and become masters of patience and discipline. Those skills alone are, for me, worth all the effort!


----------



## SplendidBob

Update on this one, dunno if people are still keeping up with it 

Last month I did 470 minutes, which = 15 mins a day roughly. I did miss 4 days though, but not bad. Switching things up a little now, doing 5 mins of my breathing (slow out and focusing on it), 5 mins mantra, 5 mins a more general mindfulness, observing sensations sounds and thoughts etc. Hopefully will make every day next month


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## Max Seigel

Meditated for a week without missing a day! But my goal is to meditate every day for the rest of my life lol. Nevertheless, I'm still proud of myself for actually doing it. The most I've meditated is like 90 or 100 days without missing and it helped a lot, so I wanna get back to that.


----------



## SplendidBob

Max Seigel said:


> Meditated for a week without missing a day! But my goal is to meditate every day for the rest of my life lol. Nevertheless, I'm still proud of myself for actually doing it. The most I've meditated is like 90 or 100 days without missing and it helped a lot, so I wanna get back to that.


Good job


----------



## Strago

I seem to have settled into a pattern of meditating every other day. I really need to force myself more. Better than not at all though I guess.


----------



## SplendidBob

Strago said:


> I seem to have settled into a pattern of meditating every other day. I really need to force myself more. Better than not at all though I guess.


Yeh, def better than nothing.

I have missed a couple of days now, need to make sure I do it today. Just having to rush out or something can disrupt the habit (waking up late or whatever).


----------



## Vanishing Dreams

Meditation was a big part of helping curing my SA, I truly think anyone could benefit tremendously from it.


----------



## 629753

marsia said:


> I think many things in life are tiny incremental improvements. The media shows the best of the best at something and shows the pinnacle of what they accomplished, but rarely shows the thousands of hours it takes to master something, the many, many times people try something and it doesn't work but it gives a determined person feedback so they know more for the next try, and also most things that are worthwhile in life we aren't necessarily naturally gifted at. Meditation is definitely like that. It is tiny incremental changes that over the course of a year you may not notice until you look back and see just how much better it is making you feel. Just the act of doing something that requires patience and persistence is doing me a lot of good. I have made so many mistakes in life based on trying to do things the easy, quick way instead of the way that I know works. So let's encourage each other to keep at this and become masters of patience and discipline. Those skills alone are, for me, worth all the effort!


The three things I want by meditation is : enlightnement, quiet mind and happiness.

If i can reach one of thise i would be more than satisfied.

Why do buddhist monks practice soo many hours a day? To get enlightned?


----------



## Max Seigel

Here's a helpful tip for anyone trying to meditate. I find that making a sound with my breath (as I'm breathing in and out) really helps me to focus my mind and clear all the thoughts that pop into my head. Wheras, when I don't make a sound with my breath, I get more easily distracted by thoughts.


----------



## marsia

splendidbob said:


> I have missed a couple of days now, need to make sure I do it today. Just having to rush out or something can disrupt the habit (waking up late or whatever).


I sort of fell off the meditation wagon, and just read this article on establishing a daily practice. I'm in the construction zone part of my house painting the walls and getting toxed out by the dust so had a hard time getting up early to meditate because I am in allergy fog. But things are better this week, so I am going to start up again. I noticed how grouchy and imbalanced I was last week, and really am looking forward to meditating this week. Going to start right now!!! I am so happy you have this thread!!


----------



## marsia

impedido10 said:


> The three things I want by meditation is : enlightnement, quiet mind and happiness.
> 
> If i can reach one of thise i would be more than satisfied.
> 
> Why do buddhist monks practice soo many hours a day? To get enlightned?


I only really know one Buddhist monk, my teacher Adyashanti, and he definitely meditated to become enlightened. He had a very hard time meditating for the first several years, until someone told him that the goal isn't to try to still the mind, but to let it jabber and to be able to focus on the stillness and peace that exist when you aren't focused on trying to change or alter the mind in any way. You slowly learn to be ok with whatever the mind is doing (distracting or otherwise) and to just enjoy being in your body, watching your breath, feeling the peace that can occur in the gap between the breath, etc. It's like if someone has the tv volume up more than normal, you can focus on it and let it distract you, or learn to be peaceful by not focusing on the tv, but on your inner sense of calmness and happiness. Happiness isn't something that comes from outside you. You find it within by tapping into that part of yourself that is pure and unchanged by the mind or any external possible influence. You discover your innate happiness once you learn to not focus on things that distract you from your true self.

Were you happy during some periods of childhood? If so, do you remember them?


----------



## 629753

marsia said:


> I only really know one Buddhist monk, my teacher Adyashanti, and he definitely meditated to become enlightened. He had a very hard time meditating for the first several years, until someone told him that the goal isn't to try to still the mind, but to let it jabber and to be able to focus on the stillness and peace that exist when you aren't focused on trying to change or alter the mind in any way. You slowly learn to be ok with whatever the mind is doing (distracting or otherwise) and to just enjoy being in your body, watching your breath, feeling the peace that can occur in the gap between the breath, etc. It's like if someone has the tv volume up more than normal, you can focus on it and let it distract you, or learn to be peaceful by not focusing on the tv, but on your inner sense of calmness and happiness. Happiness isn't something that comes from outside you. You find it within by tapping into that part of yourself that is pure and unchanged by the mind or any external possible influence. You discover your innate happiness once you learn to not focus on things that distract you from your true self.
> 
> Were you happy during some periods of childhood? If so, do you remember them?


I dont think I was ever happy, maybe when i was a baby but i got no memory of it. I have always been depressed (not anymore) since a young age.


----------



## SFC01

impedido10 said:


> The three things I want by meditation is : enlightnement, quiet mind and happiness.
> 
> If i can reach one of thise i would be more than satisfied.
> 
> Why do buddhist monks practice soo many hours a day? To get enlightned?


How do you structure your meditation practice, what guidance have you used and have you done much reading about the subject?


----------



## 629753

SFC01 said:


> How do you structure your meditation practice, what guidance have you used and have you done much reading about the subject?


I have been reading about it, i do mindfulness meditation, and i normally do it for like 5 minutes every two days. I have bee nsttrugling to do it longer


----------



## SFC01

impedido10 said:


> I have been reading about it, i do mindfulness meditation, and i normally do it for like 5 minutes every two days. I have bee nsttrugling to do it longer


Get yourself a book with a guided 8 week plan and try that.


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## 629753

SFC01 said:


> Get yourself a book with a guided 8 week plan and try that.


just finished a meditation


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## 629753

marsia said:


> I only really know one Buddhist monk, my teacher Adyashanti, and he definitely meditated to become enlightened. He had a very hard time meditating for the first several years, until someone told him that the goal isn't to try to still the mind, but to let it jabber and to be able to focus on the stillness and peace that exist when you aren't focused on trying to change or alter the mind in any way. You slowly learn to be ok with whatever the mind is doing (distracting or otherwise) and to just enjoy being in your body, watching your breath, feeling the peace that can occur in the gap between the breath, etc. It's like if someone has the tv volume up more than normal, you can focus on it and let it distract you, or learn to be peaceful by not focusing on the tv, but on your inner sense of calmness and happiness. Happiness isn't something that comes from outside you. You find it within by tapping into that part of yourself that is pure and unchanged by the mind or any external possible influence. You discover your innate happiness once you learn to not focus on things that distract you from your true self.
> 
> Were you happy during some periods of childhood? If so, do you remember them?


And I also might be numbed by pills, soo i cant feel happiness


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## marsia

impedido10 said:


> And I also might be numbed by pills, soo i cant feel happiness


I don't know much about medications, but the kind of contentment I find from a spiritual life is not so much in the body as in my outlook. At first it was a sense of equanimity - not getting so upset with things, not having pie in the sky expectations, but appreciating the little things in life much, much more. Then came a sense of joy at the little things like a plant growing in some nearly impossible place thriving despite the harsh conditions, a beautiful insect, a nice breeze that brings freshness, a look on someone's face that I deeply understood and appreciate, ... To me, happiness is not an escape from my problems, but a different way of looking at them, a way of seeing that they are ways I can mature and grow and learn how to be a better person. Everything can be used as a way to deepen spiritual practice, or on the other hand, can be seen at a curse that makes you unhappy. Outlook is what made the difference for me, I think. Not to say that your practice will look anything like mine, but I'm just sharing how I see happiness, because it isn't what I expected it was going to be at all. I still have periods where I completely forget to be mindful and appreciative and accepting of life, but those times are getting shorter. It's not months anymore before I remember to be mindful and to honor the life I was given with attention and appreciation. Am I making any sense?


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## 629753

marsia said:


> I don't know much about medications, but the kind of contentment I find from a spiritual life is not so much in the body as in my outlook. At first it was a sense of equanimity - not getting so upset with things, not having pie in the sky expectations, but appreciating the little things in life much, much more. Then came a sense of joy at the little things like a plant growing in some nearly impossible place thriving despite the harsh conditions, a beautiful insect, a nice breeze that brings freshness, a look on someone's face that I deeply understood and appreciate, ... To me, happiness is not an escape from my problems, but a different way of looking at them, a way of seeing that they are ways I can mature and grow and learn how to be a better person. Everything can be used as a way to deepen spiritual practice, or on the other hand, can be seen at a curse that makes you unhappy. Outlook is what made the difference for me, I think. Not to say that your practice will look anything like mine, but I'm just sharing how I see happiness, because it isn't what I expected it was going to be at all. I still have periods where I completely forget to be mindful and appreciative and accepting of life, but those times are getting shorter. It's not months anymore before I remember to be mindful and to honor the life I was given with attention and appreciation. Am I making any sense?


Yes you are. The only thing i can appreaciate is my silent mind, pills cant numb that 

Hopefully when im done with medicine i will feel emotions again, and not be depressed (hopefully)


----------



## marsia

Max Seigel said:


> Here's a helpful tip for anyone trying to meditate. I find that making a sound with my breath (as I'm breathing in and out) really helps me to focus my mind and clear all the thoughts that pop into my head. Wheras, when I don't make a sound with my breath, I get more easily distracted by thoughts.


I tried this while just being mindful throughout the day, and it is really great!

Also if while you are meditating, a practice spontaneously comes to you, do you go with it? For instance, this morning, I was meditating, and I spontaneously started to think of my spiritual teacher and all the teachers I follow online, and I appreciated the different energies and personalities of each one, and it was a really peaceful meditation that went so fast, it didn't seem like much time past. Do you think it's better for you to stick to one kind of meditating or do you mix things up and do all different kinds? Do you ever make up your own meditations?


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## marsia

impedido10 said:


> Yes you are. The only thing i can appreaciate is my silent mind, pills cant numb that
> 
> Hopefully when im done with medicine i will feel emotions again, and not be depressed (hopefully)


That's great you found something (the silent mind) that is working for you. I think about all the people on the planet who don't know about that and realize how completely lucky we are to have found something so wonderful and peaceful. I'm sure it will deepen with practice over time!


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## Max Seigel

marsia said:


> I tried this while just being mindful throughout the day, and it is really great!
> 
> Also if while you are meditating, a practice spontaneously comes to you, do you go with it? For instance, this morning, I was meditating, and I spontaneously started to think of my spiritual teacher and all the teachers I follow online, and I appreciated the different energies and personalities of each one, and it was a really peaceful meditation that went so fast, it didn't seem like much time past. Do you think it's better for you to stick to one kind of meditating or do you mix things up and do all different kinds? Do you ever make up your own meditations?


That's a good question. I'm not sure but I would probably stick to focusing on my breath just because that's what I know works for me. I guess the best answer I can come up with is that if it works for you, then you should do it. Or you should do what the research shows will benefit you. From the research I've read, it seems like a breath based meditation is the most common type that is used.


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## 629753

marsia said:


> That's great you found something (the silent mind) that is working for you. I think about all the people on the planet who don't know about that and realize how completely lucky we are to have found something so wonderful and peaceful. I'm sure it will deepen with practice over time!


Yes! I have been soo relaxed the whole day!

There are soo many benefits to meditation: stress free, care free, no thoughts, higher conscious, enlightnement (Im on my month 8!) and more

Im sure one day it will even be more wonderful


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## marsia

Max Seigel said:


> That's a good question. I'm not sure but I would probably stick to focusing on my breath just because that's what I know works for me. I guess the best answer I can come up with is that if it works for you, then you should do it. Or you should do what the research shows will benefit you. From the research I've read, it seems like a breath based meditation is the most common type that is used.


Ok, thanks! I think I will stick to one while establishing my practice again just to be safe. Thanks for the support!


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## 629753

marsia said:


> That's great you found something (the silent mind) that is working for you. I think about all the people on the planet who don't know about that and realize how completely lucky we are to have found something so wonderful and peaceful. I'm sure it will deepen with practice over time!


The thing is , I have been meditating and sometimes I think less, but i always got intrusive thoughts. I dont know what to do, I cant enjoy my time. Distractions dont work anymore


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## 629753

marsia said:


> Ok, thanks! I think I will stick to one while establishing my practice again just to be safe. Thanks for the support!


and i got to be honest, i always have the goal to stop thinking. Maybe i shouldnt do that, but its not rewarding when you meditate for 20 minutes and you feel the same


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## SFC01

impedido10 said:


> and i got to be honest, i always have the goal to stop thinking. Maybe i shouldnt do that, but its not rewarding when you meditate for 20 minutes and you feel the same


Do you try bringing mindulness into daily life ie being mindful when carrying out tasks or chores, or listening music - if you can do something then you can be mindful doing it. Meditation kind of lays the foundation and if it doesn't flow over into daily life then I suggest you start making certain tasks as mindul practice as well.


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## 629753

SFC01 said:


> Do you try bringing mindulness into daily life ie being mindful when carrying out tasks or chores, or listening music - if you can do something then you can be mindful doing it. Meditation kind of lays the foundation and if it doesn't flow over into daily life then I suggest you start making certain tasks as mindul practice as well.


I try to be mindful, but thoughts still havent vanished. They onlu vanish (sometimes) when i meditate and thats it. Help?

Do you find yourself mindful in most situations?


----------



## SFC01

impedido10 said:


> I try to be mindful, but thoughts still havent vanished. They onlu vanish (sometimes) when i meditate and thats it. Help?
> 
> Do you find yourself mindful in most situations?


Firstly, your thoughts wont vanish but hopefully if you keep at it, and it can take a while, you will start to see thoughts as as just that and not reality, far from it in fact.

Some days I'm mindful most of the time, other days not so much - i found that despite loads of meditation, it wasn't really seeping into my daily living so I made an effort to slowly designate certain tasks as mindful and gradually build the list up. Its at a point now where all but a few tasks are done mindfully, and even sitting around doing nothing I can still be mindful.

I read books about mindfulness, listen to online presentations etc and try to immerse myself at times into the whole thing and that help to keep my mind in that zone.

To get the best out of it, it really is as simple as treating it like a sport you compete in.


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## 629753

SFC01 said:


> Firstly, your thoughts wont vanish but hopefully if you keep at it, and it can take a while, you will start to see thoughts as as just that and not reality, far from it in fact.
> 
> Some days I'm mindful most of the time, other days not so much - i found that despite loads of meditation, it wasn't really seeping into my daily living so I made an effort to slowly designate certain tasks as mindful and gradually build the list up. Its at a point now where all but a few tasks are done mindfully, and even sitting around doing nothing I can still be mindful.
> 
> I read books about mindfulness, listen to online presentations etc and try to immerse myself at times into the whole thing and that help to keep my mind in that zone.
> 
> To get the best out of it, it really is as simple as treating it like a sport you compete in.


Are you free from anxiety and depression? Good advice btw, but im always hopeful one day they vanish (even if its not from mindfulness)

The thing is it takes a lot of effort living like you are meditating, but ill try.


----------



## SFC01

impedido10 said:


> Are you free from anxiety and depression? Good advice btw, but im always hopeful one day they vanish (even if its not from mindfulness)
> 
> The thing is it takes a lot of effort living like you are meditating, but ill try.


Yes I am free from depression and anxiety completely, and have been for 2 years now. I also take nardil and this combined with mindfulness has been a godsend on that front.

It does take effort but bear in mind it took me over a year to get to this point in my mindfulness.


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## 629753

SFC01 said:


> Yes I am free from depression and anxiety completely, and have been for 2 years now. I also take nardil and this combined with mindfulness has been a godsend on that front.
> 
> It does take effort but bear in mind it took me over a year to get to this point in my mindfulness.


But what you do is meditate everytime you want to?

Hows your conciousness?

And dont you sometimes stop thinking completly?

Are you free of suffering too?


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## SFC01

impedido10 said:


> But what you do is meditate everytime you want to?
> 
> Hows your conciousness?
> 
> And dont you sometimes stop thinking completly?
> 
> Are you free of suffering too?


I meditate loads - I set out each week my mediation schedule and follow that plus I also do some whenever I have a moment - probably on average over 2hrs a day, sometimes 3 or 4 hrs. I dont live with my kids anymore so I get the free time !!

I wouldnt say I stop thinking completely but I can hold my concentration on my breath for quite a while now, and any thoughts are very brief in nature, and i only rarely get caught up in a stream of thoughts. In fact, the only time I stop thinking is when I do a thought meditation and try to watch my thoughts - and nothing comes up !!

Yes, I am free from suffering.


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## marsia

impedido10 said:


> The thing is , I have been meditating and sometimes I think less, but i always got intrusive thoughts. I dont know what to do, I cant enjoy my time. Distractions dont work anymore


This happens with me, too. So I see the intrusive thought and realize I can fight it (which gives it more energy) or I can acknowledge that it is there but then not pay attention to it. I can decide if I want to believe it or not, want to give it my time and energy, or if I want to do something that trains my mind like watching my breath instead, or just do something else that I enjoy like seeing the peace in the rest of the world all around the intrusive thought. I focus on that instead. Meditation isn't a distraction, it's in part a way of training the mind to seek out peace instead of fighting thoughts. Training the mind can take a long time, because we have been trained all our lives to get distracted by negative thoughts and believe in them or fight them.


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## 629753

marsia said:


> This happens with me, too. So I see the intrusive thought and realize I can fight it (which gives it more energy) or I can acknowledge that it is there but then not pay attention to it. I can decide if I want to believe it or not, want to give it my time and energy, or if I want to do something that trains my mind like watching my breath instead, or just do something else that I enjoy like seeing the peace in the rest of the world all around the intrusive thought. I focus on that instead. Meditation isn't a distraction, it's in part a way of training the mind to seek out peace instead of fighting thoughts. Training the mind can take a long time, because we have been trained all our lives to get distracted by negative thoughts and believe in them or fight them.


Do you think (besides enlightnement happening, wich would be the cure basicly) meditating could make us stop thinking, or until we desbelieve our thoughts (like Noah) we still keep thinking?

Btw, i just meditated for 10 minutes in a set of two 

But yesterday the meditations was better


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## 629753

SFC01 said:


> I meditate loads - I set out each week my mediation schedule and follow that plus I also do some whenever I have a moment - probably on average over 2hrs a day, sometimes 3 or 4 hrs. I dont live with my kids anymore so I get the free time !!
> 
> I wouldnt say I stop thinking completely but I can hold my concentration on my breath for quite a while now, and any thoughts are very brief in nature, and i only rarely get caught up in a stream of thoughts. In fact, the only time I stop thinking is when I do a thought meditation and try to watch my thoughts - and nothing comes up !!
> 
> Yes, I am free from suffering.


Godamn, thats a lot of time. Do you feel a lot of peace?

Dont you have anhedonia since pills numb the brain? I sttrugle with pleasure because of the pills


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## SFC01

no, nardil hasn't given me anhedonia, quite the opposite actually.


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## marsia

impedido10 said:


> Do you think (besides enlightnement happening, wich would be the cure basicly) meditating could make us stop thinking, or until we desbelieve our thoughts (like Noah) we still keep thinking?
> 
> Btw, i just meditated for 10 minutes in a set of two
> 
> But yesterday the meditations was better


Wow, congrats on the mediation sessions! You never can tell how they are going to go, it's different each time for me.

I am not a regular meditator (have done it in bits and spurts over the years and want to be more consistent) but my teacher says he still experiences the ego complaining or such occasionally. He views it with humor now. Echhardt Tolle said something similar, I think. I guess that you may have negative thoughts come up as a master meditator, but you won't get hooked by them anymore, so they won't bother you.


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## marsia

impedido10 said:


> and i got to be honest, i always have the goal to stop thinking. Maybe i shouldnt do that, but its not rewarding when you meditate for 20 minutes and you feel the same


I don't have the goal to stop thinking because when you try NOT to do something, you are trying to suppress it, and it comes back with a vengence - negative thoughts treat you trying to get rid of them as if you are feeding them more energy. So instead I let the thoughts just be and practice not getting hooked by them. It's like if you are in a movie and you believe everything you are seeing, it makes you jump when there is a scary sound, but if you remember that it's a movie, you can relax and watch from a distance.

This is called the observer self- the part of you that watches what you are doing and doesn't get involved emotionally. For instance, do you ever notice that you can feel yourself falling asleep sometimes? Well the part that falls asleep isn't doing the noticing, it's the observer self that is. Similarly, the observer self sees you struggling with your thoughts. If you can relax into just observing, you can watch the thoughts go by like clouds, and they don't disturb you. You don't have to wish for a cloudless sky all the time, you just watch everything go by without worrying about it. It becomes peaceful and rejuvenating once you get the hang of it, though some meditation sessions don't go as well as others for me, and that's just part of the process.


----------



## 629753

marsia said:


> I don't have the goal to stop thinking because when you try NOT to do something, you are trying to suppress it, and it comes back with a vengence - negative thoughts treat you trying to get rid of them as if you are feeding them more energy. So instead I let the thoughts just be and practice not getting hooked by them. It's like if you are in a movie and you believe everything you are seeing, it makes you jump when there is a scary sound, but if you remember that it's a movie, you can relax and watch from a distance.
> 
> This is called the observer self- the part of you that watches what you are doing and doesn't get involved emotionally. For instance, do you ever notice that you can feel yourself falling asleep sometimes? Well the part that falls asleep isn't doing the noticing, it's the observer self that is. Similarly, the observer self sees you struggling with your thoughts. If you can relax into just observing, you can watch the thoughts go by like clouds, and they don't disturb you. You don't have to wish for a cloudless sky all the time, you just watch everything go by without worrying about it. It becomes peaceful and rejuvenating once you get the hang of it, though some meditation sessions don't go as well as others for me, and that's just part of the process.


What im talking about is having a quiet mind. DO you think meditation can help us having a quiet mind?

I know meditation is about having a better relationship with our thoughts but i really want to have a quiet mind ha.

The few times it happened was incredible, and also want to be enlightned ofc, thats my main goal


----------



## marsia

impedido10 said:


> What im talking about is having a quiet mind. DO you think meditation can help us having a quiet mind?
> 
> I know meditation is about having a better relationship with our thoughts but i really want to have a quiet mind ha.
> 
> The few times it happened was incredible, and also want to be enlightned ofc, thats my main goal


There is a concept in Buddhism called grasping. It means that we really want all the "good" things in life to stay (grasping) and the "bad" things to go (aversion). But life doesn't stay the same, it constantly changes and presents new challenges, and this is good because it helps us grow emotionally, adapt, and learn to be flexible and creative problem solvers. So you feel the underlying stillness and peacefulness of your awareness (which I am guessing is what you are calling quiet mind) and that's great. But if you grasp at it, it becomes illusive, and you don't experience it nearly as much as if you were to just let it come and go as it pleases. It's like the grasping for it pushes it away. So it's like anything special in life, enjoy it while it is here and learn to accept and find the good things in other emotional states when it is not. Otherwise you push it away with your grasping energy because grasping is not peaceful and accepting, so you can't be in a still, peaceful place if you are not accepting the present moment as it is. Therefore you can't simultaneously grasp for peace and feel peaceful at the same time.

That's why I practice seeing the beauty all around me in the present moment. I am ignoring grasping mind which wants a perfect emotional state all the time, and instead I am celebrating each moment as me being glad to be alive in a world filled with countless wonders all around, from each beautiful leaf on the trees, to the endless variety of bugs and birds and animals all around, to the beauty in people you pass by on the street. There are even microcosms of worlds of things you can only see in the microscope that are all around us. I see all sorts of amazing colors, beautiful effects of light, even the interesting grittiness of cities and other man-made things which most people don't see the beauty in. Maybe you aren't so visual as I am and instead you find yourself drawn to the amazingness of sounds, the feeling of different textures, the amazingness of being in a human body that can move in all these incredible ways if you train it, ... Find a way to get into your everyday existence and really dive deep into the mystery of what it's like to fully be alive and fully appreciating the infinite variety of all that is around you. You will discover immense worlds you never thought about or appreciated before, and in that way, peacefulness comes and sits on your shoulder a lot more of the time. Just don't demand that it stay, and it will visit you a lot more!


----------



## 629753

marsia said:


> There is a concept in Buddhism called grasping. It means that we really want all the "good" things in life to stay (grasping) and the "bad" things to go (aversion). But life doesn't stay the same, it constantly changes and presents new challenges, and this is good because it helps us grow emotionally, adapt, and learn to be flexible and creative problem solvers. So you feel the underlying stillness and peacefulness of your awareness (which I am guessing is what you are calling quiet mind) and that's great. But if you grasp at it, it becomes illusive, and you don't experience it nearly as much as if you were to just let it come and go as it pleases. It's like the grasping for it pushes it away. So it's like anything special in life, enjoy it while it is here and learn to accept and find the good things in other emotional states when it is not. Otherwise you push it away with your grasping energy because grasping is not peaceful and accepting, so you can't be in a still, peaceful place if you are not accepting the present moment as it is. Therefore you can't simultaneously grasp for peace and feel peaceful at the same time.
> 
> That's why I practice seeing the beauty all around me in the present moment. I am ignoring grasping mind which wants a perfect emotional state all the time, and instead I am celebrating each moment as me being glad to be alive in a world filled with countless wonders all around, from each beautiful leaf on the trees, to the endless variety of bugs and birds and animals all around, to the beauty in people you pass by on the street. There are even microcosms of worlds of things you can only see in the microscope that are all around us. I see all sorts of amazing colors, beautiful effects of light, even the interesting grittiness of cities and other man-made things which most people don't see the beauty in. Maybe you aren't so visual as I am and instead you find yourself drawn to the amazingness of sounds, the feeling of different textures, the amazingness of being in a human body that can move in all these incredible ways if you train it, ... Find a way to get into your everyday existence and really dive deep into the mystery of what it's like to fully be alive and fully appreciating the infinite variety of all that is around you. You will discover immense worlds you never thought about or appreciated before, and in that way, peacefulness comes and sits on your shoulder a lot more of the time. Just don't demand that it stay, and it will visit you a lot more!


I dont even know if i can feel peace since i have anhedonia from meds. Im going to read a book now


----------



## SFC01

impedido10 said:


> I dont even know if i can feel peace since i have anhedonia from meds. Im going to read a book now


Get a copy of Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat Zinn - have only just finished it myself and it gives a great overview of mindfulness practice and how it can benefit modern day living.


----------



## marsia

SFC01 said:


> Get a copy of Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat Zinn - have only just finished it myself and it gives a great overview of mindfulness practice and how it can benefit modern day living.


Thanks - this looks wonderful. Going to start it tonight!


----------



## SFC01

marsia said:


> Thanks - this looks wonderful. Going to start it tonight!


Great Marsia, I bought it years ago but never got past the first chapter and lost the book. I got it on audio last month and after listening I wish I had read all those years ago when I was starting out.


----------



## Humesday

I've been meditating infrequently. Sometimes I'll do four hours one day. Sometimes I'll do 40 min. More frequently, I don't meditate.

If I ever find myself seriously spiraling, a meditation session usually helps such internal cataclysms subside.


----------



## marsia

impedido10 said:


> I dont even know if i can feel peace since i have anhedonia from meds. Im going to read a book now


Did you ever see this video of Noah's http://www.liveinthemoment.org/how-to-meditate-why-most-people-fail/ ? I thought it was so great!


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## 629753

marsia said:


> Did you ever see this video of Noah's http://www.liveinthemoment.org/how-to-meditate-why-most-people-fail/ ? I thought it was so great!


yeah, i know how to meditate, thats not the probleem, the problem is that i cant feel anything


----------



## SFC01

impedido10 said:


> yeah, i know how to meditate, thats not the probleem, the problem is that i cant feel anything


What is your meditation schedule mate ? Here is mine for the week -

After waking - Mindful Yoga followed by body scan
Before work - 30 minute breath
Break at work AM - 15 minute listening
Lunch - Mindful walk
Break at work PM - 15 minute thought labeling
Evening - 40 minutes split by breath, body, sounds, thoughts and choiceless awareness

I only put this up there for maybe some ideas that you could follow, so you stay mindful during the day and you include all different kind of aspects of mindful practice. You dont need to do as many or as long but try to put some kinf of schedule together that you know you will do.

I consider myself very much a beginner in mindfulness as I have only been doing it dailly for a year and a bit and I`m happy to answer your questions but you will really benefit by getting a book written by someone who has decades of experience, someone who is or was at the forefront of bringing mindfulness therapy to the west and pushing it forward now.


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## marsia

impedido10 said:


> yeah, i know how to meditate, thats not the probleem, the problem is that i cant feel anything


Do you think it's a form of depression? Here are descriptions of the various types of depression http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-types#1 . If so, did you see all the help on Noah's website for depression http://www.liveinthemoment.org/category/depression-shame/ ? Are you talking to your therapist about it? I really really hope you get help for it because you are interested in all these things that help incredibly if you can stick with them long enough for them to help you realize what it is that is holding you back from happiness!!!


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## 629753

marsia said:


> Do you think it's a form of depression? Here are descriptions of the various types of depression http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-types#1 . If so, did you see all the help on Noah's website for depression http://www.liveinthemoment.org/category/depression-shame/ ? Are you talking to your therapist about it? I really really hope you get help for it because you are interested in all these things that help incredibly if you can stick with them long enough for them to help you realize what it is that is holding you back from happiness!!!


I think its from my pills numbing my happiness. Not actually my depression (who has been gone since I have been taking pills). Im close to being free I just need to know why i care about other peoples opinion, thats literally the only thing holding me back,

And im not seeing much progress with my therapist


----------



## marsia

impedido10 said:


> I think its from my pills numbing my happiness. Not actually my depression (who has been gone since I have been taking pills). Im close to being free I just need to know why i care about other peoples opinion, thats literally the only thing holding me back,
> 
> And im not seeing much progress with my therapist


Somewhere in these - maybe the ones on how to overcome fear easily or on anxiety, Noah addresses this well http://www.liveinthemoment.org/category/anxiety-stress/ and also I found his online tool for working with negative thoughts really helpful http://www.liveinthemoment.org/the-5-steps-to-the-present-moment/ . It helped me a lot, and hope it does for you, too! Sorry to hear about your therapist not being the best fit. Maybe if you tell her what you want out of therapy and ask how she is going to help with that?


----------



## 629753

marsia said:


> Somewhere in these - maybe the ones on how to overcome fear easily or on anxiety, Noah addresses this well http://www.liveinthemoment.org/category/anxiety-stress/ and also I found his online tool for working with negative thoughts really helpful http://www.liveinthemoment.org/the-5-steps-to-the-present-moment/ . It helped me a lot, and hope it does for you, too! Sorry to hear about your therapist not being the best fit. Maybe if you tell her what you want out of therapy and ask how she is going to help with that?


The thing is I know my thoughts are not valid or real, but I still believe in them. The reason lies behind the question:

"Why do I give opinions importance?"

When I know this, I will be able to desbelieve it and all my thoughts will go away.

I dont know, its not my therapist, I think therapy is just flawed period. They try to treat the mind like its another bodily function when its never that. SA is caused by believing in thoughts that arent true, period.


----------



## marsia

impedido10 said:


> The thing is I know my thoughts are not valid or real, but I still believe in them. The reason lies behind the question:
> 
> "Why do I give opinions importance?"
> 
> When I know this, I will be able to desbelieve it and all my thoughts will go away.
> 
> I dont know, its not my therapist, I think therapy is just flawed period. They try to treat the mind like its another bodily function when its never that. SA is caused by believing in thoughts that arent true, period.


I like Noah's exercises with dealing with thoughts because he takes 2 tactics - #1 is "Is the thought true?" and if you still answer YES, he asks you to think about "Could it be that this is not always true?" - he says it better than that though. So I realize I am hanging on to thoughts that are not always true or 100% true. If you try the exercise on that 5 step page you will see what I mean. It's really great!!

If you go to a traditional psychologist they do tend to treat psychology as if it were like medical treatment, and it's not, it's an art form. Especially psychiatrists who are trained in medicine are like that. But I know how hard it is to find a good therapist who gets what we are going through!!!!


----------



## 629753

marsia said:


> I like Noah's exercises with dealing with thoughts because he takes 2 tactics - #1 is "Is the thought true?" and if you still answer YES, he asks you to think about "Could it be that this is not always true?" - he says it better than that though. So I realize I am hanging on to thoughts that are not always true or 100% true. If you try the exercise on that 5 step page you will see what I mean. It's really great!!
> 
> If you go to a traditional psychologist they do tend to treat psychology as if it were like medical treatment, and it's not, it's an art form. Especially psychiatrists who are trained in medicine are like that. But I know how hard it is to find a good therapist who gets what we are going through!!!!


I know that, the thing is, i dont know why i give opinions importance, i asked myself this question and i got no answer. I will desbelieve it when i get it.

My therapist is pretty comprehensive, i like it, i just dont think therapy works, at least for me


----------



## marsia

impedido10 said:


> I know that, the thing is, i dont know why i give opinions importance, i asked myself this question and i got no answer. I will desbelieve it when i get it.
> 
> My therapist is pretty comprehensive, i like it, i just dont think therapy works, at least for me


Yeah, it's a really key question for me, too. I have been working on it a long time, and am finally starting to disengage from negative thoughts. It's definitely a good question to keep working at!!! Let me know how it goes for you!!!


----------



## 629753

marsia said:


> Yeah, it's a really key question for me, too. I have been working on it a long time, and am finally starting to disengage from negative thoughts. It's definitely a good question to keep working at!!! Let me know how it goes for you!!!


Why do you think we care about other people think?


----------



## marsia

impedido10 said:


> Why do you think we care about other people think?


We started out 100% dependent on our parents as babies, and they socialized us by getting us to do what they want and getting us to care what they think. Then we went to school and are expected to do exactly what the teacher wants, and are expected to follow social norms. We also watched adults conform to group and societal norms, and we got ostracized, teased, and labeled if we didn't fit in. The whole society depends on social conformity to get along when there are such huge groups of people to have to manage as there are on earth now, but even when there wasn't vast overpopulation, the bossy people set the norms and expected others to follow, I imagine.

So it's completely natural and normal that we care what people think, but we have gone on overdrive about it, and conform too hard and don't question our thoughts about conforming, because we are more focused on being judged harshly than on finding out what works best in our own lives. Many people in society are depressed and not doing what they want with their lives because they don't learn to question their limiting thoughts that are there to avoid criticism instead of to live life fully and happily.

So the short term self-preservation strategy of doing almost all of what is expected of us is backfiring, and we need to go out and do things that might draw criticism from others, but that make us feel alive again and happy about experimenting with what works best for us. As long as we aren't hurting ourselves or others, people can adapt to us instead of the other way around. We just need the courage to be ourselves!


----------



## 629753

marsia said:


> We started out 100% dependent on our parents as babies, and they socialized us by getting us to do what they want and getting us to care what they think. Then we went to school and are expected to do exactly what the teacher wants, and are expected to follow social norms. We also watched adults conform to group and societal norms, and we got ostracized, teased, and labeled if we didn't fit in. The whole society depends on social conformity to get along when there are such huge groups of people to have to manage as there are on earth now, but even when there wasn't vast overpopulation, the bossy people set the norms and expected others to follow, I imagine.
> 
> So it's completely natural and normal that we care what people think, but we have gone on overdrive about it, and conform too hard and don't question our thoughts about conforming, because we are more focused on being judged harshly than on finding out what works best in our own lives. Many people in society are depressed and not doing what they want with their lives because they don't learn to question their limiting thoughts that are there to avoid criticism instead of to live life fully and happily.
> 
> So the short term self-preservation strategy of doing almost all of what is expected of us is backfiring, and we need to go out and do things that might draw criticism from others, but that make us feel alive again and happy about experimenting with what works best for us. As long as we aren't hurting ourselves or others, people can adapt to us instead of the other way around. We just need the courage to be ourselves!


I dont think you need corage when you lose all your insecurities. Im still trying to understand what i need to desbelieve to be happy. I want to be a free man in September when school start again . That would be soo nice, to be free in school.

Im going to start wearing caps and baggy jeans, or dress how i want when i lose all my suffering.


----------



## marsia

impedido10 said:


> I dont think you need corage when you lose all your insecurities. Im still trying to understand what i need to desbelieve to be happy. I want to be a free man in September when school start again . That would be soo nice, to be free in school.
> 
> Im going to start wearing caps and baggy jeans, or dress how i want when i lose all my suffering.


I think it's a really good idea to start doing what you want to do now instead of waiting until you lose all your suffering. Be who you want to be and practice savoring it and being supportive of yourself. After all, the people judging you don't know you, and don't have your best interests in mind, so for me anyway, it's good practice ignoring them and living the way I like. Some people do give me funny looks, and I am getting to the point where I just smile at them and think to myself, "what I am doing being myself could give you permission to be who you want to be, too, if you would open your mind to it."

You don't need courage when you lose your insecurities, but for me, losing my insecurities didn't happen overnight with the correct thinking, it is taking considerable practice and courage to be myself every time I walk out the door. I don't think there is some magic way of thinking that is going to suddenly cure my SA, I think it is a process of reprograming myself to care more about what I want out of life than what some judgmental person thinks of me. I don't want to have my life organized anymore around fear of people who don't care about me or my happiness. You could go buy yourself some caps and baggy jeans and practice wearing them in situations that make you just a tiny bit uncomfortable, and then gradually add in other things that you want to try and do. Don't overdo it and do too much so you feel like you are pushing yourself to the point that it triggers shame or similar uncomfortable feelings. Just slowly do more and more of what you like and want for yourself and reward yourself for being brave!


----------



## 629753

marsia said:


> I think it's a really good idea to start doing what you want to do now instead of waiting until you lose all your suffering. Be who you want to be and practice savoring it and being supportive of yourself. After all, the people judging you don't know you, and don't have your best interests in mind, so for me anyway, it's good practice ignoring them and living the way I like. Some people do give me funny looks, and I am getting to the point where I just smile at them and think to myself, "what I am doing being myself could give you permission to be who you want to be, too, if you would open your mind to it."
> 
> You don't need courage when you lose your insecurities, but for me, losing my insecurities didn't happen overnight with the correct thinking, it is taking considerable practice and courage to be myself every time I walk out the door. I don't think there is some magic way of thinking that is going to suddenly cure my SA, I think it is a process of reprograming myself to care more about what I want out of life than what some judgmental person thinks of me. I don't want to have my life organized anymore around fear of people who don't care about me or my happiness. You could go buy yourself some caps and baggy jeans and practice wearing them in situations that make you just a tiny bit uncomfortable, and then gradually add in other things that you want to try and do. Don't overdo it and do too much so you feel like you are pushing yourself to the point that it triggers shame or similar uncomfortable feelings. Just slowly do more and more of what you like and want for yourself and reward yourself for being brave!


You know, who says being courageous is a good thing? And that we need to reward it? That is just conditioning again.

If you care about other people think about you, its because you are believing what other people are talking about.

Whenever someone insults you (if you believe it ) it hits a certain part of your self-image (im a loser, not good enough,etc) and thats why you suffer. You have to remove the fake parts of your self image (all of it) to be care of insecurties\suffering.

No, this is not a thing you practice for years, you can do it right now. GO to the SA video and at 30 minutes there is questions NOahs asks to desbelieve opinions.

I still believe in people opinions even though i know they are not real, and its still something im trying to understand.

But I agree that we shouldnt wait to be happy until we reach enlightnement.


----------



## 629753

marsia said:


> I think it's a really good idea to start doing what you want to do now instead of waiting until you lose all your suffering. Be who you want to be and practice savoring it and being supportive of yourself. After all, the people judging you don't know you, and don't have your best interests in mind, so for me anyway, it's good practice ignoring them and living the way I like. Some people do give me funny looks, and I am getting to the point where I just smile at them and think to myself, "what I am doing being myself could give you permission to be who you want to be, too, if you would open your mind to it."
> 
> You don't need courage when you lose your insecurities, but for me, losing my insecurities didn't happen overnight with the correct thinking, it is taking considerable practice and courage to be myself every time I walk out the door. I don't think there is some magic way of thinking that is going to suddenly cure my SA, I think it is a process of reprograming myself to care more about what I want out of life than what some judgmental person thinks of me. I don't want to have my life organized anymore around fear of people who don't care about me or my happiness. You could go buy yourself some caps and baggy jeans and practice wearing them in situations that make you just a tiny bit uncomfortable, and then gradually add in other things that you want to try and do. Don't overdo it and do too much so you feel like you are pushing yourself to the point that it triggers shame or similar uncomfortable feelings. Just slowly do more and more of what you like and want for yourself and reward yourself for being brave!


And also, exposure therapy (you said we should practice) doesnt normally work and it might increase the sufferers pain, and by that, finding more evidence (not real evidence doe) that socializing is bad and it makes you suffer.


----------



## marsia

impedido10 said:


> You know, who says being courageous is a good thing? And that we need to reward it? That is just conditioning again.
> 
> If you care about other people think about you, its because you are believing what other people are talking about.
> 
> Whenever someone insults you (if you believe it ) it hits a certain part of your self-image (im a loser, not good enough,etc) and thats why you suffer. You have to remove the fake parts of your self image (all of it) to be care of insecurties\suffering.
> 
> No, this is not a thing you practice for years, you can do it right now. GO to the SA video and at 30 minutes there is questions NOahs asks to desbelieve opinions.
> 
> I still believe in people opinions even though i know they are not real, and its still something im trying to understand.
> 
> But I agree that we shouldnt wait to be happy until we reach enlightnement.


For me, it isn't taking years of practice, but it does take some practice. I don't agree with just exposure therapy - I go do what I want in little baby steps so I don't get too freaked out and regress. I also think learning to be kind and supportive of myself is something I don't just learn about once and then I am automatically that way. I have been doing Noah's exercises on disbelieving opinions about being scared of and avoiding small talk. It helped a ton, but I am not all the way better yet. I think there are more assumptions I am making that I need to question, but how I find those assumptions that keep me stuck is to go try doing small talk again and seeing what else I need to question in myself. So I need some exposure to the thing that I am afraid of in order to see what I still need to question in myself.

Anyway, you bring up good points, and I am glad we aren't waiting to be happy!


----------



## 629753

marsia said:


> For me, it isn't taking years of practice, but it does take some practice. I don't agree with just exposure therapy - I go do what I want in little baby steps so I don't get too freaked out and regress. I also think learning to be kind and supportive of myself is something I don't just learn about once and then I am automatically that way. I have been doing Noah's exercises on disbelieving opinions about being scared of and avoiding small talk. It helped a ton, but I am not all the way better yet. I think there are more assumptions I am making that I need to question, but how I find those assumptions that keep me stuck is to go try doing small talk again and seeing what else I need to question in myself. So I need some exposure to the thing that I am afraid of in order to see what I still need to question in myself.
> 
> Anyway, you bring up good points, and I am glad we aren't waiting to be happy!


Well, my pills are numbing my happpiness. Im going to talk with my (I dont know the name) to stop taking them.

You can just use meditation and write down the thoughts that are affecting you and then desbelieving them.

Exposure therapy doesnt lessen the SA, because it doesnt deal with underlying problem: believing thoughts are not true.

Im still sttrugling but I know im close to enlightnement. I understood everything Noah and my mentor tell me.


----------



## 629753

marsia said:


> For me, it isn't taking years of practice, but it does take some practice. I don't agree with just exposure therapy - I go do what I want in little baby steps so I don't get too freaked out and regress. I also think learning to be kind and supportive of myself is something I don't just learn about once and then I am automatically that way. I have been doing Noah's exercises on disbelieving opinions about being scared of and avoiding small talk. It helped a ton, but I am not all the way better yet. I think there are more assumptions I am making that I need to question, but how I find those assumptions that keep me stuck is to go try doing small talk again and seeing what else I need to question in myself. So I need some exposure to the thing that I am afraid of in order to see what I still need to question in myself.
> 
> Anyway, you bring up good points, and I am glad we aren't waiting to be happy!


Also, you might not be desbelieving completly because you still believe in whathever you believe. You have to see there is no basis in believing it.


----------



## Max Seigel

impedido10 said:


> And also, exposure therapy (you said we should practice) doesnt normally work and it might increase the sufferers pain, and by that, finding more evidence (not real evidence doe) that socializing is bad and it makes you suffer.


Here's a post I wrote about why I think exposure therapy doesn't cure social anxiety. I think you and others may find it helpful and interesting

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...-therapy-doesn-t-cure-social-anxiety-1967417/


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## 629753

Max Seigel said:


> Here's a post I wrote about why I think exposure therapy doesn't cure social anxiety. I think you and others may find it helpful and interesting
> 
> http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...-therapy-doesn-t-cure-social-anxiety-1967417/


I had already read it


----------



## marsia

Max Seigel said:


> Here's a post I wrote about why I think exposure therapy doesn't cure social anxiety. I think you and others may find it helpful and interesting
> 
> http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...-therapy-doesn-t-cure-social-anxiety-1967417/


This is so helpful!!! When I was in art school, I could care less what other people thought of me because I was in a community I loved, and since then, I have not been able to get back to that state. I realize from your post that it was accepting that I am going to look like an outsider in the non-artistic community, and the more I am fine with that, the better I feel. I just didn't articulate what is working, so I kind of knew this, but I don't practice it because it isn't something I put into words and consciously practice. Thank you so much for this!!


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## SplendidBob

Ok, angry reply removed. Any chance we could:

1. Keep the Noah stuff out of this thread, seriously I didn't make this thread to spread that stuff, I wanted it to be a place where people could discuss meditation (which is an established therapy with evidence).
2. Keep the critiques of exposure therapy etc out of this thread
3. Stay roughly on the topic of meditation.

I know people can talk about what they want, but it just totally discourages me from bothering with this kind of thread again.


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## SparklingWater

Exposure therapy is very effective for SA and most anxiety. What typically happens is someone attempts to do it on their own and when they don't do it correctly they say exposure therapy doesn't work when they've in effect never done it. Not even certain someone can do it correctly without a therapist. Exposure therapy is a very gradual, medium to long term process. Most pple rush into situations, flood themselves and retraumatize and reinforce their fears. Definitely check out Bob's exposure explanation thread. It's the most appropriate representation of what exposure therapy actually is on the forum.

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f43/exposure-thread-1971561


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## SparklingWater

So I've been struggling with keeping up mindfulness on a daily basis, but when I do I have a noticeable difference. Been trying to get at least 15 a day. I did 30 one day last week. I'm going to set an alarm for every morning at 7 for 15 minute mindfulness.
@splendidbob @marsia how has your practice been going?


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## SparklingWater

The biggest difference for me I think is that it slows down my thinking and my perceiving just enough so there's some extra space between my thinking and reacting. I feel more present overall and sometimes life feels more colorful and vivid somehow when I'm really paying attention. 

Hmm maybe I'll set the alarm for 7am and 7pm and try to get 10-15 both times so I'll get 20-30 mins a day. It really does help a ton.


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## SplendidBob

Had been struggling to do this, started up again this month, but this fever messed things up (has screwed up my exposure stuff too unfortunately). Hopefully can start up again, probably going to have to start back at 5 mins.


----------



## marsia

realisticandhopeful said:


> So I've been struggling with keeping up mindfulness on a daily basis, but when I do I have a noticeable difference. Been trying to get at least 15 a day. I did 30 one day last week. I'm going to set an alarm for every morning at 7 for 15 minute mindfulness.
> 
> @splendidbob @marsia how has your practice been going?


Hi, thanks for asking! I haven't been meditating, but I have been practicing mindfulness throughout the day, and it makes me feel much better, but I want to start over and do meditation first thing in the morning again, too. It helps me even more because I am calmer and more likely to catch untrue or judgmental thoughts, which I have a lot of normally. I have also been doing yoga at a really nice class 2x a week, and I try to meditate a little in the longer poses, and that is really helping, too. So I set my alarm for extra early and will check in again here and see how everyone is doing this week!


----------



## marsia

splendidbob said:


> Had been struggling to do this, started up again this month, but this fever messed things up (has screwed up my exposure stuff too unfortunately). Hopefully can start up again, probably going to have to start back at 5 mins.


Hope you feel better and get lots of rest!!


----------



## SFC01

realisticandhopeful said:


> The biggest difference for me I think is that it slows down my thinking and my perceiving just enough so there's some extra space between my thinking and reacting. I feel more present overall and sometimes life feels more colorful and vivid somehow when I'm really paying attention.
> 
> Hmm maybe I'll set the alarm for 7am and 7pm and try to get 10-15 both times so I'll get 20-30 mins a day. It really does help a ton.


I know sometimes there is a need to build up the duration of each practice, especially when starting out etc but if you and any others on the thread can get your practce up to the 20-25 min mark in a single sitting you should really start noticing your mind quietening down and more consistent focus on the breath. Sometimes it can take 10 to 15 mins for you to really settle into it.


----------



## SFC01

also, the longer you sit, you can really start to see any thoughts or feelings that do come up a lot more vividly.


----------



## SplendidBob

SFC01 said:


> I know sometimes there is a need to build up the duration of each practice, especially when starting out etc but if you and any others on the thread can get your practce up to the 20-25 min mark in a single sitting you should really start noticing your mind quietening down and more consistent focus on the breath. Sometimes it can take 10 to 15 mins for you to really settle into it.


Do you divide this 25 mins up in any way, do counting or any other such stuff to break it up somehow, or do you just simply focus on the breath?


----------



## SFC01

splendidbob said:


> Do you divide this 25 mins up in any way, do counting or any other such stuff to break it up somehow, or do you just simply focus on the breath?


Hi Bob, sometimes to start with when my mind may be a bit wild, I may throw in periods of counting the breath or silently saying up/down, rising falling etc but after a while once my mind has settled (still wandering of course but not as much) I just settle into focusing on the breath and if you stick with it, it does bring a real sense of calm - you end up feeling like just a mind interconnected to the space you are in with no body, just a mind and breath. Hope thats not too new age but it does actually feel like it, its very pleasant.

The same happens when listening, watching thoughts etc.

It can be daunting or boring to think of even trying but i do really recommend trying to spend as much time as you can in one practice.


----------



## SFC01

one other thing I noticed a few months back was that when I was focusing on the breath, I was really paying most of my attention to my in breath which meant my mind wandered more easily so i started to make sure I focused fully on the breath from in right through to end of the out breath - it helped a lot with focus.

Might just be me that fell into that trap, but worth a check when you are practicing


----------



## Humesday

I've been a bit lazy with my meditation practice. I keep meditating while laying down instead of using my meditation cushion. Sometimes laying down while meditating works out well. Other times, I just fall asleep. It's really best to use my meditation cushion. I need to push through the discomfort that starts to become noticeable after about 30 min. I'd like to push my practice up to two hours straight. I want to start getting into really deep meditative states again. I don't feel like I've been achieving that lately. 

Maybe I need to read a book on meditation again to get me in the right state of mind. Maybe I should look for a sangha to attend again. It's so easy to sort of drift through my meditation sessions instead of maintaining good focus on my breath.

Honestly, I feel like I've regressed in my practice. I used to achieve deep meditative states. The meditative states I achieve now feel a bit shallow.


----------



## Paper Samurai

Humesday said:


> I've been a bit lazy with my meditation practice. I keep meditating while laying down instead of using my meditation cushion. Sometimes laying down while meditating works out well. Other times, I just fall asleep. It's really best to use my meditation cushion. I need to push through the discomfort that starts to become noticeable after about 30 min. I'd like to push my practice up to two hours straight. I want to start getting into really deep meditative states again. I don't feel like I've been achieving that lately.
> 
> Maybe I need to read a book on meditation again to get me in the right state of mind. Maybe I should look for a sangha to attend again. It's so easy to sort of drift through my meditation sessions instead of maintaining good focus on my breath.
> 
> Honestly, I feel like I've regressed in my practice. I used to achieve deep meditative states. The meditative states I achieve now feel a bit shallow.


 I'm pretty sure you don't get as much benefit from lying down/sleeping when meditating. That being said, it can be quite effective if you're having trouble getting to sleep and you need something to clear your head a little bit. (kind of a paradox but hey)


----------



## Humesday

Paper Samurai said:


> I'm pretty sure you don't get as much benefit from lying down/sleeping when meditating.


Yeah, definitely not. It's called "sinking mind," according to the meditation book I have. It's really poor form to meditate while laying down knowing that I'm probably going to fall asleep. My admitting this on here is meant to reprimand myself. We'll see if it works. I should really just start going to a sangha again. It's so easy to get sloppy without accountability.


----------



## 629753

marsia said:


> Hope you feel better and get lots of rest!!


Hey marsia big news!

I desbelieve some thoughts and now I have almost a quiet mind! I dont need to meditate anymore!

Its like i still have thoughts but i dont even notice them and they always go away!

Im closer and closer to peace. Id suggest you watch more Noah videos hahaha


----------



## Hylar

Afreen88 said:


> So starting up with this  I've been doing mindfulness practice on/off for the past two/three years but want to do it consistently (everyday).
> 
> Haven't practised in the past two-ish months so going to start at 5 mins, every morning, everyday. Will work my way up as time goes on


I'm more or less the same. I was really into my meditation a few years back, but recently have been slacking. I'm trying to start up again, by sitting each day, probably 5-10 mins and work up from there 

Do you feel it helps a lot with anxiety?


----------



## ZombieIcecream

Still slacking, Pfft @ me.


----------



## SparklingWater

ZombieIcecream said:


> Still slacking, Pfft @ me.


 idk why but meditation is one of the hardest things to make routine for me lol. seems a bit that way for most pple.


----------



## Rains

ZombieIcecream said:


> Still slacking, Pfft @ me.


Same.


----------



## SplendidBob

Rains said:


> Same.


Same.

Damn it's difficult to get back into this


----------



## Humesday

Yeah, I'm still slacking, too.


----------



## SplendidBob

Afreen88 said:


> So it's been a little over a week and so far so good  Haven't missed a day. This next week I'm going to bump it up to a modest 7 minutes per practise


Great stuff . I haven't managed to keep this going yet (my energies have been kinda low and my priorities are elsewhere atm, a pitiful excuse I know), but I am glad to see you are starting to make it a habit .


----------



## SplendidBob

Afreen88 said:


> It's not an excuse, it's a reason  You can only do so much.


Ah ty, but I certainly could do 5 mins a day .



Afreen88 said:


> Yeah, I hope this week goes well but I've recently quit anti-depressants and today I've felt the depression creeping back in :no. We'll see how it goes...


Ah, damn, not too cold turkey I hope . How long ago did you stop them? (sry if too nosy etc).


----------



## ZombieIcecream

Afreen88 said:


> So it's been a little over a week and so far so good  Haven't missed a day. This next week I'm going to bump it up to a modest 7 minutes per practise




Oh wow, that's great. Good for you. ! :-D


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## ZombieIcecream

Okay, I'm back on track. ! Meditated a few times this week. I've also used Amethyst during my sessions, felt really grounded. A while ago I tried it with selenite (*facepalm*) I think I had some weird reaction. Oh well. So far, so good...


----------



## SFC01

anyone do much mindful movement/yoga ? I`ve just started doing a lot more of it recently and absolutely love it.


----------



## evolveaware

Good stuff


----------



## SFC01

Afreen88 said:


> Another good week  This time next week I'll have been doing it every day for month! Go me. It's definitely starting to feel like a habit now, I'm finding it's something I must do. I _feel_ good too. Much more calm despite my current ****ty circumstances.


Cool Afreen88, keep going and the benefits keep getting better.


----------



## SplendidBob

Afreen88 said:


> Another good week  This time next week I'll have been doing it every day for month! Go me. It's definitely starting to feel like a habit now, I'm finding it's something I must do. I _feel_ good too. Much more calm despite my current ****ty circumstances.


Impressive.

I am going to try to start this again for pain relief  - it's in my new schedule so hopefully I can make it a habit like you have.


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## firewatch93

I've been thinking about meditation. I have no life as it is so why not try new things like this.


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## SFC01

Afreen88 said:


> Thank you  What benefits are you experiencing? How long have you been meditating and how much time do spend in one sitting?


I have been meditating for over 5 years but most of that was kind of on and off but for a year and a half now I practice daily for a combined total of around 2 - 3 hrs a day. Longest I sit for is usually 45 mins but have done a longer before. Shorter practices are great and beneficial but you get that real sense of calm and peace the longer you sit for, and mindfulness spills more into your daily life when practice for longer periods, well thats what I find anyway.

Benefits, there a quite a few so I may miss some, but it helps mood obviously, I can either cut my thoughts off if i need to, or stay with them no matter how bad they are and remain in control and always see that they are just thoughts, not facts or reality. I can communicate better with people by being mindful when listening and talking, rather than thinnking about saying something stupid or embarrasing. I used to suffer from regular bouts of insomnia and took sleeping pills, now I dont - i just focus on breath for long enough and I'll fall asleep. Exercise, being a dad, eating better, a nicer person (generally  ), more organised at work and around the house, all sorts.


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## SFC01

just to let you all know, the mindfulness is still going great, and I`m doing really well with it - I just poured half a bottle of listerine over my head in the shower !!


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## CourtneeyMK

I have always struggled with meditation and how to allow myself to stop all of the thoughts running through my head. I think meditation is the first step when it comes to past life regression therapy and hypnosis. I want to continue practicing meditation and continue to improve. I have been doing research and consulting people who know what they are doing and that seems to help.


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