# Regrets if you do, regrets if you don't.



## lawry (Jul 4, 2009)

When coping with social anxiety you're always thinking about what could go wrong.

If I go to this party what will they think of me?

If I sit beside him what if he starts talking to me and I appear uncomfortable?

What if I go to this job interview and my throat closes up while giving an answer?

What if, what if, what IF.

Guys, we need to just live in the moment and not think about what could go wrong in the future. That's all you can do. I know the thoughts and worries will never really go away just like that, but being a coward and keeping yourself from doing things in life isn't helping either! I've stayed home for the past year; denying parties and social events. I don't have a job and I feel like I've isolated myself from everyone I used to hang out with. Now I'm going to be graduating high school in a month and a half and I really wish I hadn't done that. I wish I'd been social when given the chance. I always think, "Oh, it's better if I don't go to that party and stay home because I'll just feel uncomfortable the whole time." 

Well you know what; you NEED to push yourself through the **** to get to the others side. And the other side is bright, fun, and NOT lonely. You make friends, you make memories, you obtain stories for future conversation... you may even gain confidence.

Just don't hold yourselves back. Staying in your comfort zone may be easy and stressless, but it's a lonely life. You need to get through the crap to experience the joy.


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## dim (Apr 21, 2011)

> Just don't hold yourselves back. Staying *in your comfort zone *may be easy and stressless, but it's a lonely life. You need to get through the crap to experience the joy.


What you said here is true, I didn't want to go out of my home and look for a job because of fear of being evaluated, that fear was irrational but I can tell you the experience of going out and getting to a job interview is better than wasting away at home.

I've read a few threads and I've already seen people talking about how they are isolated and stay-at-home type of people like I was. If the person gets depressed staying at home but remains there then SA can develop, and they will worry about going out so much that they avoid the outside world as much as possible.

It's a problem but IT CAN be worked through :yes


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## paulyD (Feb 16, 2011)

lawry said:


> When coping with social anxiety you're always thinking about what could go wrong.
> 
> If I go to this party what will they think of me?
> 
> ...


 the title of your thread doesnt make any sense. its implying that if you dont do something you'll regret , but also if you do something you will regret it too.

then in your actual post you are saying you'll regret not doing something but if you do actually do something then only good things will come of it and you'll be glad you did it


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## sherbert (Jun 24, 2005)

*food for thought*

There are elements of 'hard truth' that you have spattered in your post, but I think you're forgetting that recovery is a process and that what held you back is not necessarily what holds everyone else back. Co-morbid disorders are pretty common. Also, depression is a very strange animal and one that saps so much motivation from a person. While your advice may be useful to the person that has plateaued, it probably isn't of much use to the person who is struggling on a day-to-day basis with a lot anxiety and depression.

While I have seen far less tactful posts, there is an air of condescension that annoys me. You don't out-and-out say it, but it sounds like the 'pick up your boot-straps' speech. Maybe it's just the fact that you used an insult: coward. Why would you do that? If you've struggled with severe anxiety, it is a very real thing.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

lawry said:


> When coping with social anxiety you're always thinking about what could go wrong.
> 
> If I go to this party what will they think of me?
> 
> ...


Anticipatory anxiety is always worse than the feared event itself!


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