# Walked away from losing virginity



## Airick10 (May 10, 2007)

I'm a bit shaken up over this one. As I'm sure some of you know, I'm actively meeting women and approaching. I am establishing a new social circle and opening up my boundaries. Now.. As a guy, of course my main goal is to lose the virginity. This interaction was the best approach I've done. This was flawless. Details...

I notice a girl (Blonde, thin, cute!) walking down the sidewalk of Main St. in Huntington on her own while I'm heading across to from Sharkees to Beachfront and across the street down to Hurricanes. I walk up beside her and keep pace and I look over and see a costume shop to buy costumes at 50% off. I approach this moving target perfectly.

Airick - Who would actually buy a costume after Halloween? That's stupid.
Girl - I was thinking the exact same thing *she stops as I continue to walk and look back to see her stop, I pursue*
Airick - Who are these people? *at this point I'm standing confidently, smiling, and with eye contact*
Girl - *gigges*
Airick- A co-worker of mine will start to plan for Halloween just a couple months from now. I never understood that. He will come to the office in the middle of February and talk Halloween.
Girl - Yeah! I had a neighbor that did that too!
Airick - But people will buy it. I don't normally see an attractive girl walking the streets alone here. What brings you out on a Sunday night?
Girl - Oh, I'm here with my sister. I'm originally from OC and haven't been back in a while.
Airick - Where do you live now?
Girl - Nebraska
Airick - Land of the corn!
Girl - *giggles* Yeah
Airick - Sounds like a good vacation from Nebraska.
Girl - Yeah, but I'm leaving in a week. My sister just met a guy and left me all alone here. I can't believe she did that.
Airick - Oh, that sucks. You never thought you'd meet a guy in front of a Halloween costume shop in November did you?
Girl - *giggles* Nope!
Airick - I want your opinion since I can tell you travel around. My crew is looking at going to Vegas next weekend or Austin, TX. Austin is fabulous, but I have a condo...*she cuts me off*
Girl - Vegas!
Airick - Vegas?
Girl - It's the best!
Airick - Where would you recommend we stay?
Girl - Well it depends on where you are going, but if you have a condo then use that.
Airick - I will, I want to see what spot you'd like. The best spot in Vegas in my opinion is the Hard Rock Hotel. The best one I've ever stayed at!
Girl - Oh yeah! That's great. You'll see a number of celebrities there.

*Here, I start to go into a story when I met Ludicrus at the Palms a couple years ago, about a minute into it she starts to point down the sidewalk*

Airick - *story....* Oh you need to go?
Girl - Come down and walk with me
Airick - *continues the story as we walk down the street, my arm wrapped around her* Yeah, Vegas is great.
Girl - That's so cool!

*We meet up with her sister and the guy she just met. He stands up and greets me as she sits down with a smile on her face. I introduce myself to them.*

Sister - My name is Jenny, she is my sister.
Airick - That's what she tells me. My name is Eric.
Sister - OH! We have a brother named Eric.
Airick - Erics are good guys! *smiles as she nods, her sister's guy just sits there looking dumb*
Airick - So between the siblings, which one is the troublemaker?
Sister - Umm... I am!
Airick - That's not what I asked, and you are taking the easy way out *her guy laughs, Girl is blushing*
Girl - Yeah, she is!
Airick - *laughs* I gotta watch out for you!

*At this point it goes silent. And I just throw something out to Girl to keep things going*

Airick - Yeah, I came out here tonight for something to eat and it turned out to be a big party. *she smiles... awkward silence*

Airick - Well, I have to go. It was nice meeting you guys.

*I share girl's hand and hug her and wave goodbye to her sister and her guy. I can see the 'wtf' look in girl's eyes*

*It is about 10:30 PM now and instead of going back to a bar/club, I just drive back home EXTREMELY upset*

--------------------------

This is a major problem. I walked away from losing it. Here are the facts:

- She's in town for a week
- She's upset at her sister for leaving her be and picking up a guy
- She was attracted to me (constant smiling, maintaining eye contact, asking me to walk with her, leaning into me as I had my arm around her)
- She brought be back to meet her sister/guy
- Gave positive energy back during and after the story I told

We have this monster deep inside us that makes us shy away and leave the scene. Obviously he is still there and I need to put the dagger in the heart. I'll get there, but this one really hurts.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

i missed the part where you almost got laid?


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## embers (Dec 19, 2006)

I could never approach a stranger like that, but regardless, no offense at all here, but how do you make the leap from talking to bedding?


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## Airick10 (May 10, 2007)

Good point... I need to emphasize that.

I've been meeting people on a very regular basis for a while now and I can tell where things are. This one was set up perfectly. I'm just in rant/rave mode now.


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## Airick10 (May 10, 2007)

It is very powerful when there is a short time frame. She was giving me all kinds of signs that she was into me. And even so, I had a very good feeling she'd use me to show up her sister (sounds a little silly, but believe me.. it was there).

I'm not saying it would have happened that night, but to set up a date in a couple days and so forth. To both girls and guys, if you meet someone when you're on vacation that you are really into... you head out a second time. Would you want to have sex before you leave? Most would.

I just stepped out of it instead of taking the next step, which is why I'm upset. And just through her body language and the look on her face, she was very disappointed that I just bailed.


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

i don't think you should feel so discouraged, just approaching an attractive women and being so at ease with conversation and flirting is a great triumph. although.. i know you said you do this often so i can understand why you wanted to take it to the next level. 

from reading your posts, you will have many more oppurtunities in the near future, i'm sure.


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## embers (Dec 19, 2006)

You just were'nt ready this time then. Maybe this level has to happen a few more times until you're actually comfortable.


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## Airick10 (May 10, 2007)

embers said:


> You just were'nt ready this time then. Maybe this level has to happen a few more times until you're actually comfortable.


No, I'm ready. But I do agree that it may need to happen a few more times for me to ease into it and go for it. I've had this situation in the past a few times and I keep just walking away. It's a sticking point I need to get past.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

Wow, it must have felt great to get that kind of attention. I wouldn't stress out about it because, like you said, it's not a guarantee that "it" would have happened that night but perhaps you could have planted a seed for a future date. And I'm sure you would have wanted to get to know her more anyway.


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## SADFighter (May 4, 2007)

You're my hero. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. I've done weird stuff like that myself after I've created attraction but I can't say I've ever done something half as smooth as that. As others have said, it wasn't a guarantee that you were gonna get some. Obviously she was into you, so if you're disappointed that you didn't at least get some intimate time with this girl then I don't blame you. But based on this transformation you've made you have nothing to worry about. 1000 approaches??!! You're fine. It was when you were first starting to make moves and it still was so emotionally and physically difficult to battle your SA (kinda where I'm still at now) that you probably had the right to beat yourself up. Chances during this stage were far few and in between just because it took so much for you to do something different. But now, from the sounds of things, you're fine. Yeah, you missed an opportunity but you'll have so many others. Your SA is still there but barely. I know how hard it is to make the leap, to really take it to the next level. But if you think about it, the hard part's over now. All you had to was stay in the situation. All you had to do was stay seated and continue to be the man. :yes


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## Airick10 (May 10, 2007)

Yep, I know. I appreciate it. You are correct. Good post!


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

Do you wear a wire when you talk to people? How can you remember how your conversation went that well?


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## Formerly Artie (Jun 26, 2007)

For what it's worth, I think it takes a bigger man to say 'no' instead of 'yes', with *or* without SA.

I particulary found the following amusing though:



Airick10 said:


> Airick - I want your opinion since I can tell you travel around. My crew is looking at going to Vegas next weekend or Austin, TX. Austin is fabulous, but I have a condo...*she cuts me off*


At first I thought she cut you off before you had the chance to say condom.


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## Airick10 (May 10, 2007)

Classified said:


> Do you wear a wire when you talk to people? How can you remember how your conversation went that well?


When you beat yourself over the head over and over regarding this interaction... I remembered. I usually don't remember them that well. There were some things said here that was not included. But this was about 80% of the interaction.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

I'm curious to know how old you are? After reading the conversation you had with her, I thought to myself that if I was even 1/10th as smooth as that, I'd have lost my virginity a long f'n time ago. Seriously if conversation comes to you that easily, then you don't have much to worry about for the future when it comes to women. You're well on your way.

I do have to agree with others though about the "almost got laid" part. I fail to see it... Saying that you hit it off and that's where it was going, that doesn't really mean much because that can be said about any positive interaction with a girl where there is strong chemistry.

You're thinking too much in the male mindset when you consider her having sex with you. Given her situation of only being there a week, a guy thinks maybe she'll put out before the week is over since she's leaving. A girl on the other hand, probably rules out sex from the get go because she knows she'll only be there for a very short time.


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## Airick10 (May 10, 2007)

Again, I'm sure most of you will disagree with the 'almost got laid' thing. I'm not saying that would have happened last night, but I would have planted a date somehow that would lead up to it. Look, she was going to leave in a week and already upset at her sister for picking up a couple guys. All I had to do was not screw it up, which I did hehe. But that subject is a whole other topic really.

Yes, I look at this at how comfortable I'm getting just approaching and getting into a conversation. What doesn't break me will only make me stronger.


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## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

I wish you the best of luck Airick! It's good to see you doing something good for yourself--getting out there, socializing. You're going to make a girl very happy one day, I hope you wait until you find someone truly special to sleep with.


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## archaic (Jan 16, 2006)

"I approach this moving target perfectly." :wtf 

I don't even know where to start.


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## Airick10 (May 10, 2007)

Ha ha, yes I know I know. I need to post more to show that's not my main goal. It does not show here, but I was in rant mode a little bit. No worries.

Thanks for the reality check ladies hehe.


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## Formerly Artie (Jun 26, 2007)

archaic said:


> "I approach this moving target perfectly." :wtf
> 
> I don't even know where to start.


Good catch. That makes it sound like he was a lion sneaking up on the cute little gizelle on the Serengeti Plain.

Now that I read it again, it seems like all you cared about, Airick, was getting your male cherry popped without even thinking about what she may have wanted... or didn't want. Do you even know what the "Girl"'s name was? Or did you care?

Interesting story, if true, but also a sexist one.



Airick10 said:


> Ha ha, yes I know I know. I need to post more to show that's not my main goal...


!=



Airick10 said:


> Now.. As a guy, of course my main goal is to lose the virginity.


So, it either is your main goal, or it isn't. When one speaks in literal terms, there becomes no pretense or assumptions. It is what it is.

But I guess that's one good thing about shyness and nervousness. It keeps certain people in check, else guys would be worse than they already are. But I admit, I would probably be no exception. It's hard to say what I myself would do with no SA at all.


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## Zen Mechanics (Aug 3, 2007)

I don't think I could approach a girl like that and just insert myself into some group with her and some randoms in about a million years, yet i somehow managed to stumble into losing my virginity. I'm surprised you haven't yet if you can easily just walk up to girls on the street like that and have them respond so well to you.. Whenever I consider doing that I get some mental image of me being pepper sprayed so decide against it..


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

I am amazed that people think of jumping into a sexual relationship with someone so early in an encounter. JMO.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

FairleighCalm said:


> I am amazed that people think of jumping into a sexual relationship with someone so early in an encounter. JMO.


why?


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## Airick10 (May 10, 2007)

This is an interaction that build attraction. Make it sexual or not, that is how it went. So when I see that in front of my face and walk away from this (whatever it may be, I didn't even get a phone number or set up a date), I am upset with myself.

That is over now, and my rant mode is done. My goal is to meet people and develop a tight social circle. Now with that comes relationships and interactions. I will not apologize for being a guy and wanting a sexual encounter. It comes across as me wanting just one thing and that's fine. In that interaction yes, I saw that goal develop in front of me. So be it. I am very comfortable with who I am. Sex is not my main goal, but if it comes to play I'm fine with it.


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## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

amusing..


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

^x2 "Why" because building a relationship on first encounters of sex is difficult. People don't want to give up the sex so they then lie and say I love you, when in fact they just enjoy the sex. Then the lies pile up and usually, a sick, manipulative relationship ensues. Real passion, lasting passion comes from talking, hanging out, seeing all the facets of someones psyche and character AND THEN deciding that you want to do them for the rest of you life anyway...to me, that is real passion. All other stuff is just a circus act IMO.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

IcedOver said:


> Wow, it must have felt great to get that kind of attention. I wouldn't stress out about it because, like you said, it's not a guarantee that "it" would have happened that night but perhaps you could have _planted a seed_ for a future date. And I'm sure you would have wanted to get to know her more anyway.


:eek :lol j/k

Airick10,

How do you know the sex thing would have happened? She has a mind and feelings, too .


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## Mayflower 2000 (Nov 11, 2003)

millenniumman75 said:


> She has a mind and feelings, too .


Liar! Women don't have minds or feelings. Anybody with half a brain knows that :eyes


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

FairleighCalm said:


> ^x2 "Why" because building a relationship on first encounters of sex is difficult. People don't want to give up the sex so they then lie and say I love you, when in fact they just enjoy the sex. Then the lies pile up and usually, a sick, manipulative relationship ensues. Real passion, lasting passion comes from talking, hanging out, seeing all the facets of someones psyche and character AND THEN deciding that you want to do them for the rest of you life anyway...to me, that is real passion. All other stuff is just a circus act IMO.


i understand what youre saying but airick was thinking of getting laid from someone that he knew he wouldnt have seen so i doubt that he wasnt thinking of building a relationship. which is better no?


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## sjon (Aug 7, 2007)

Airick10 said:


> Airick - *story....* Oh you need to go?
> Girl - Come down and walk with me
> Airick - *continues the story as we walk down the street, *my arm wrapped around her** Yeah, Vegas is great.
> Girl - That's so cool!


wtf? Did I miss something?


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## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

Yo, lay off Airick. When someone who hasn't socialized to their full potential starts to exceed their expectations...they get excited and want to share. Don't take what he says so literally or critically--you may find yourself in a similar boat soon enough.


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## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

sjon said:


> Airick10 said:
> 
> 
> > Airick - *story....* Oh you need to go?
> ...


yeah, i was a little aghast at that part myself. did this sudden arm wrap-around not stick out like a sore thumb to anyone else?? :con


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## Airick10 (May 10, 2007)

roswell said:


> sjon said:
> 
> 
> > Airick10 said:
> ...


What do you mean?


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## Eraserhead (Sep 23, 2006)

It sounds like you've developed some pretty smooth moves. You should find a girlfriend in no time.

I think you're putting too much stock in losing your virginity though. The more you build it up, the more likely it is you'll be disappointed.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Nicolay said:


> The more you build it up, the more likely it is you'll be disappointed.


especially since the first time sucks


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## mico (Aug 11, 2006)

If you can do that then you're well on your way to virginity loss central.

That's all that needs to be said. If you can do it once (with so much confidence, if what you speak of is true) then you can do it again, repeatedly. I know guys like that, they'll talk to anyone in the street and soon after they're back seat loving...

I can understand the awkward silences and the reasons for leaving when you did - seemed like pretty good timing to me. Maybe next time you could ask for a phone number. If they like you, you'll soon hear from them.


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## AdamCanada (Dec 6, 2003)

nubly said:


> Nicolay said:
> 
> 
> > The more you build it up, the more likely it is you'll be disappointed.
> ...


mine didn't suck


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## sjon (Aug 7, 2007)

Airick10 said:


> What do you mean?


It just seemed a little too sudden to be putting your arm around her to me. No matter how confident I was I'd consider it inappropriate.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

AdamCanada said:


> nubly said:
> 
> 
> > Nicolay said:
> ...


compared to other times?


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## AdamCanada (Dec 6, 2003)

nubly said:


> compared to other times?


I know what your getting at :lol

yea, things get more interesting and smooth after the first few, but my first time didn't suck....uh at the time.


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## altrdperception (Oct 27, 2007)

No offense, but if a guy automatically said "whats an attractive girl like you doing walking alone around here?" and the whole arm around me already, wow. That is a flaming red flag that you are out for one thing...but you're still learning , and luckily for you , some girls like it.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Are you on meds for your sa at all Airick10? 

You're a good talker. I couldn't come up with that much to say. Do you really have a condo in vegas? Were you really planning a trip out to Austin or Vegas? I'd choose Austin just because it has southern girls :mushy


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

nubly said:


> Nicolay said:
> 
> 
> > The more you build it up, the more likely it is you'll be disappointed.
> ...


I have a hard time believing that.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

altrdperception said:


> No offense, but if a guy automatically said "whats an attractive girl like you doing walking alone around here?" and the whole arm around me already, wow. That is a flaming red flag that you are out for one thing...but you're still learning , and luckily for you , some girls like it.


You have to factor in age. At a younger age I think women let guys get away with more in this respect.


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

:nw you have done something most of us wouldn't be able to do, just to make a decent convosation.


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## Airick10 (May 10, 2007)

Sorry guys, I was away for the weekend due to a Vegas trip.

Putting my arm around her - Inappropriate? When she wants to me to come with her, takes my hand to walk with her down the street, that's not inappropriate. It also shows affection and that I can protect her. If she thought it was inappropriate, she'd take the arm off. No problem.

No I'm not really building up for the first time... but my frustrations are really the fact that I did not really take the next step (phone number, set up a date, etc..). It was one of the best interactions I've been in. I could see a connection immediately. I'm not sure it was a love at first sight thing, but I know it was solid. I do think I reacted a bit too far with it, but stand by my words.


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## embers (Dec 19, 2006)

> Sorry guys, I was away for the weekend due to a Vegas trip.


 :nw he's now officially my god


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

embers said:


> > Sorry guys, I was away for the weekend due to a Vegas trip.
> 
> 
> :nw he's now officially my god


you need to be a goddess and take a vegas trip too


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## Formerly Artie (Jun 26, 2007)

Vegas is great for visitors and tourists, since it's a pleasure city that likes to cater to your every 5 senses.

For people who live here, it's pretty much like any other city. Everyone has to make a living like any place else.

And for those people that have crippling SA in addition to living here, you forget all about the sin city aspect of it until you walk outside at night, see the Luxor light beaming into the heavens, and wonder why the hell you're even still alive... That would be me btw.

But I actually wanted to comment on Airick's "missed opportunity". I've been thinking about this a little, and I believe that the reason he reacted in the way he did, was because of his sole focus for wanting to lose his virginity (the title alone and predator-like approach says it all, so I'm not assuming anything). In the beginning of the meeting, it was like a fantasy, and it reads like one too; guy sees hot chick, guy approaches hot chick, guy mingles with hot chick, guys goes along with hot chick. In the middle of the meeting, while still in fantasy mode, he plays it cool - chatting it up with the 2 ladies and 1 guy, and not really thinking too much about what lies ahead. In the end, however, that's when reality finally bit, and Eric knew, albeit subconsciously, that the fantasy was now over. He would either have to accept his potentially new group of friends, or back out of it in disappointment. Since fantasy-turned-reality situations tend to hit us in such harsh ways, Eric's "flight or fight" response kicked into gear, and he chose the flight path instead of fighting to stay and be part of a new social circle, and possibly have a new girlfriend too.

In short, he got nervous when fantasy turned into reality. If Eric had to do it all over again, there's really not a lot of helpful advice that I could have given, except perhaps not play the situation as though it were an MMORPG-style game, including the virginity factor. That will just happen when the timing is right. Wanting a "circle of friends" and "sex" works better when one's head is firmly grounded in reality. And yes, I know, that's easier said than done, with or without SA. If what happened to Eric happened to me, I would be kicking myself over it too, and it would probably affect me months, or even years, after the event. Although, my SA is severe enough whereby I couldn't put myself in such a situation to begin with. In Eric's case, though, it seems to be more about social issues than social fear. I'm not breaking any forum rules since I'm not comparing who has SA and who doesn't, but after analyzing what happened, and the after-effects from it, I can only call it the way I see it. For me to comment on it any other way would simply be dishonest on my part. If people disagree with my analysis of it, that's perfectly fine by me. Even Freud would have a hard time dissecting this story.


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## embers (Dec 19, 2006)

artie, you bring up something interesting about lack of social skill versus social fear. Which one came first? Is one the cause of the other? Could you eventually be skillful if you learn from trial and error, provided you have no fear? Do a lot of people who fear it, really have natural skill but it never surfaces because the fear covers it up? :con


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## Formerly Artie (Jun 26, 2007)

embers, yes, I agree it's hard to distinguish sometimes between lack of social skills and social fear, or whether one causes the other or not - a chicken or the egg type thing. Since the anxiety is so prevalent in me, I can't speak too much from experience when it comes to the skills part, although I will say that when Klonopin killed SA for me 2½ years ago, I felt a little clumsy at first socially, which caught me a bit by surprise, but I guess that was to be expected now that I look back upon it. What was really unfortunate, was that as the natural social skills inside me peaked - in fact, I would go so far as to say pro-social to the point of having no problem conversing with anybody here in person - that's when tolerance from the K-pin set in, and whatever natural skills I had became useless again. Nothing else I've tried really worked in the same way again. So you're likely correct in saying that the fear covers up any skills a person has. In Eric's case, the opposite might be true, in the sense that the lack of social skills covers up whatever fear he has, and it's only when those skills need to be addressed, as in his story, that the fear surfaces.

It's interesting, but also complicated. Trial and error, as you mentioned, and particularly CBT, would be beneficial to someone like Eric, but not to someone like me. Either way, both extreme fear and lack of social skills are quite damaging, and in general, neither should be considered less worse.


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## Airick10 (May 10, 2007)

What Artie says in true in a different form/syntax. I've really got my inner self down, the social fear. It is a fantastic feeling. However, all those years of hiding from social situations, I'm starting to develop social skill or my outer self.

Most people work the other way around. Many of us go after the social skill, and then don't have the social courage to back it up. Work on social fear and overcoming it, then start developing skill.


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## embers (Dec 19, 2006)

nubly said:


> embers said:
> 
> 
> > > Sorry guys, I was away for the weekend due to a Vegas trip.
> ...


i can't afford vegas, i'm going to new york :b


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

embers said:


> i can't afford vegas, i'm going to new york :b


what a coincedence! so am i :yes


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## jb101 (Dec 14, 2004)

Airick,

There's some great videos on youtube of seduction, pick up artists in action. They are very good, especially studying body language, movement and basic interaction.

Type in "alex mystery method", very good, this australian guy. Very tight "game". There's also these other videos from "kidtonio", he has 5 or 6 good ones. In the day time, talking to girls, getting numbers. Probably the most natural videos I've seen online of a pick up in action (although I havent seen all of them). He's very natural and relax, but direct. I'd study those.

I dont know if theres a perfect way to advance a conversation to something romantic, but I think being direct and straight is the best approach. As if asking her out is the most natural thing in the world. It's really how it happens, good luck.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

I don't understand why you left? Got too nervous about progressing further?

Kudos on everything until that point though.


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## corndog (Nov 2, 2007)

Ouch man I feel your pain. But meetin someone just off the street like that ain't gonna work out like in the movies, belive me. Especially here in LA, or orange county. I never even tried cause I know it wouldn't happen. Just go take some classes or something.. any community college. Ain't orange coast around there.. or cypress, that's what I do. Take classes that are hands on. Like art, photography. Not ones where teacher does all the talking. Trust me. There's no pressure that way. It's still hard to ask for their number, but at least you get to talk and converse for 3 months or so. It's good excercise.


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## Airick10 (May 10, 2007)

jb101 - Oh yes, believe me I'm well in versed in those arts. It's not about picking up women, it's really about picking up your life. Believe me, my life from every angle and circle has made major changes and everything I've studied for years is now paying off since I can practice being the best man I can be.

corndog - Thanks for the advice man! I'm doing a lot of that and would have to say since I've broken out of my SA shell, I've approached and talked to over 5,000 people (men and women). This was posted a few weeks back and I've tackled this issue much better.


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## beach_boy212000 (Dec 27, 2007)

Hey, it sounds like you are doing well though. I too have taken many years to get to the point where I can actually approach women in person, make conversation and laugh and joke with them. I can actually get numbers now pretty easily and even be around girls im very attracted to without too much anxiety. But I know what you mean about the next step. I always seem to do very well for awhile, but I feel that I cannot keep the confidence up for prolonged periods of time. So, like you, I usually bail out of situations where I am doing very well with a girl before I get really anxious and "mess things up". This is a big "sticking point" that I have to get past too. Im pretty much right where you are at. As long as things aren't too intimate or prolonged I usually do very well and come off as being very self assured and outgoing. The next step for me is actually going out on the dates with the girls. I can talk on the phone with no problem either for hours, but its the idea of a several hour date with a woman im very attracted too that scares the **** out of me for some reason. I just fear that during that date sometime I will have a panic attack and basically scare her off. I think its something I just have to throw myself into and do, and when I have gone out several times I will start to feel more comfortable and confident with the actual dating process and intimacy. Just going out and doing it is how I have gotten myself to this point after all, so I know I have to keep doing what has gotten me here. Hopefully this will help you a little with your moving to the next step. Good job though and good luck.


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