# Is anybody here familiar with the Borg?



## MyTimeIsJustAboutUp (Nov 16, 2017)

I live around people who are very similar to this fictional species. They try and assimilate you into their collective. And if you resist, they attack like a hive of bees. If you run afoul of just one of them, the rest come at you. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't just pick up and move. I have no money. I'm stuck. And they will not stop attacking. The attacks are all psychological and well within the confines of the law. So resistance is futile. I'm going to end up on major tranquilizers like Seroquel (or something like it). I can't cope with the trauma of it anymore. My life is headed towards the end. Within a year or possibly less on major tranquilizers, I'll become ill. Everyone who knows anything about neuroleptics knows that they do irreversible damage to your brain. Imagine being in good standing with your neighbors one day, then having a dispute with one (just one) and suddenly, the next day, you're persona nongrata to the rest. Just like that. Like a cult. It's almost too much to bear and I don't think I'm going to survive it. Not at this stage of my life.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Tetragammon (Jun 2, 2015)

Sounds like where I live. I wish I could move, too.


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## MyTimeIsJustAboutUp (Nov 16, 2017)

It's a so called "close knit" community of mostly Italians, with MANY who are related to each other either by blood or marriage. The rest are all people who've known each other for their entire lives. If you're in any way an outsider, even if you've lived in the community for your entire life, you are shunned. Or if you raise an objection (i.e. a neighbors contracter dumping unknown substances into your garden), you don't just have a problem with the offending neighbor. The neighbor runs to other neighbors (rallies the troupes) and they all attack. It's impossible to win. I'm stuck here. And every day, I'm feeling more and more cornered. It's not going to end well for me. Unless I just leave all of my possessions behind and walk out one day. Then they get to pick the bones.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MyTimeIsJustAboutUp (Nov 16, 2017)

My Tranxene is not putting me to sleep tonight. I'm approaching 30 mg and have been taking it since 12:30 a.m. EST. It's 5 a.m. now. And I don't even feel tired. I don't understand. My body is currently in a state where I don't think it's physiologically possible for me to feel any anxiety or panic about loss of sleep - but I'm not dozing off. I've never gone as high as 30 mg in a single night. I just don't understand. And get this - I took no drugs at all the previous night and slept 8 to 9 hours. Now I'm drugged to the hilt and I'm nowhere near sleep. My mind is wide awake. I never had these problems prior to two and a half years ago. Now I'm headed the way of all of the celebrities who've died of sedative overdoses - it seems. This is how nuts my thinking becomes when I've lost sleep. Thank Christ it's still only Friday. There's a miniscule chance that my shrink will return my call in a few hours once I call him at 6 a.m. And then I'll plead for Ambien; which for some reason unknown to me, never ever seems to fail. You'd think a benzodiazepine like Tranxene would work better and more reliably than Ambien - but for whatever reason - it's not tonight. I know Ambien will work. Someone who really feels compassion for me - please say a prayer to the Universe that I either fall asleep before 6 or 7 a.m. - or that I get Ambien sometime today from my shrink.


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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

lol the borg. Welcome to SAS fellow Star Trek fan haha.


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## MyTimeIsJustAboutUp (Nov 16, 2017)

naes said:


> lol the borg. Welcome to SAS fellow Star Trek fan haha.


It's a shame that my pain should be a source of amusement to people. But I suppose that's why most are here in the first place. And why I left two years ago.

I'm not a Star Trek fan, btw. I'm just aware of some parts of the series. Specifically, the Borg. Because they're so similar to the residents of the property I live on - you're either assimilated and you do what you're told - or they try everything in their power to expel you.


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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

MyTimeIsJustAboutUp said:


> It's a shame that my pain should be a source of amusement to people. But I suppose that's why most are here in the first place. And why I left two years ago.
> 
> I'm not a Star Trek fan, btw. I'm just aware of some parts of the series. Specifically, the Borg. Because they're so similar to the residents of the property I live on - you're either assimilated and you do what you're told - or they try everything in their power to expel you.


Uh...? It wasn't a source of amusement? I was just making a general comment. You know what, never-mind.


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## discoveryother (Sep 18, 2016)

why are you stuck there? just move elsewhere mate


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## Jason Aibot (Aug 25, 2017)

Many Italians tend to organize themselves in groups (your "Borg"), due to the nature of how we Immigrated to the United States in the early-to-mid 1900's. Oftentimes, we needed a sponsor (usually a more established Italian), then once we built up wealth, we'd sponsor other Italians. These groups because enclaves known as "little Italies". However, with the rise of suburbanation, these little Italies have sprung up in many (usually older) suburbs.

If you have mostly old Italian neighbors (like in their 60's+), try learning their regional dialect and a bit about their culture. Most Italians (myself included), like it when people learn a bit about us. Ask them to teach you how to make a dish, and then once you have a good repertoire with them, then you can discuss your concerns. Many Italians tend to feel that a non-Italian neighbor coming and voicing their concerns about the Italian family's behavior is an attack on their Italianness (i.e., why your "borgs" "rally the troops), so if you can take that fear away they suddenly become more rational.

If your neighbors are younger Italians, again try the same logic. My guess is that the younger Italian's fears stem from their parents fears (I know my mom's like that), but you'll have to be a bit more careful, since they're a bit Americanized, and if you push them too hard to help you do something, or do an activity together, they see it as an insult to their Italianness. For example, if you ask your neighbor to help you make handmade pizza, and they don't know how, they feel insulted and inferior. Likewise, if you ask them if they want to start a bocche league and they're not good at bocche, they'll be insulted a non-Italian has to teach them the rules.

If you have a mix, become friends with the old Italians first. Italians ALWAYS follow the wishes of their elders. So if the old people like you, the younger ones will come around in time


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## MyTimeIsJustAboutUp (Nov 16, 2017)

Thank you. I once had a dream that I was being accepted into an Italian community or family out in the middle of nowhere. Beautiful mansions in a countryside that seemed to have no trees. Just fields and rolling hills in the middle of nowhere. I was taken to a Home Depot like store nearby and a little old man was loading all of the things I'd need for my new life into a shopping cart. Decorative plates, kitchen supplies, and other home stuff I cannot remember. This dream was had years ago. It's amazing that I even remember any of it. But it was very nice. So nice in fact that after thinking about it after I woke up in bed, I imagined how the rest of it would have continued with my eyes closed. I do hopethat someday I'll be free of prescription drugs like benzodiazepines and tricyclic antidepressants and z drugs. And that my fantasies of suicide will go away.



Jason Aibot said:


> Many Italians tend to organize themselves in groups (your "Borg"), due to the nature of how we Immigrated to the United States in the early-to-mid 1900's. Oftentimes, we needed a sponsor (usually a more established Italian), then once we built up wealth, we'd sponsor other Italians. These groups because enclaves known as "little Italies". However, with the rise of suburbanation, these little Italies have sprung up in many (usually older) suburbs.
> 
> If you have mostly old Italian neighbors (like in their 60's+), try learning their regional dialect and a bit about their culture. Most Italians (myself included), like it when people learn a bit about us. Ask them to teach you how to make a dish, and then once you have a good repertoire with them, then you can discuss your concerns. Many Italians tend to feel that a non-Italian neighbor coming and voicing their concerns about the Italian family's behavior is an attack on their Italianness (i.e., why your "borgs" "rally the troops), so if you can take that fear away they suddenly become more rational.
> 
> ...


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## MyTimeIsJustAboutUp (Nov 16, 2017)

andy1984thesecond said:


> why are you stuck there? just move elsewhere mate


This must be coming from a rich kid, or a single male with disposable income.


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## discoveryother (Sep 18, 2016)

MyTimeIsJustAboutUp said:


> This must be coming from a rich kid, or a single male with disposable income.


the latter, depending on your definition of disposable (i'm thrifty). i've moved around a little bit. paying rent in one place is much the same as paying rent at another... all else that is required is the cost of a bus ticket. sometimes i have to lighten the load when i have to many possessions. not this time though, i'm gonna store stuff at my dad's place so i don't end up re-purchasing anything later on. i've never associated with people in the neighborhood anywhere i've lived anyway, so i can't say i understand what you're going through.

do you own your home? or have a family? i can understand that it would be more difficult then...


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I don’t have advice I just approve of this apt use of borg reference regarding employment/coworkers, lol


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## BAH (Feb 12, 2012)

Nope, just @Mc Borg


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

I never got into Star Trek.


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

Jason Aibot said:


> bocche


Boccia.


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## Jason Aibot (Aug 25, 2017)

versikk said:


> Boccia.


Turns out I spelled Bocce wrong (I think they anglicized Boccia to Bocche here at school, and so I'm like "yup, that's the spelling of Bocce")

There's actually two games. _Bocce_ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bocce, and _boccia_ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boccia. If you say "bocce", many italians will present you with some combination of the two (especially here in the states, some of us play bocce on boccia courts).


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

nubly said:


> I never got into Star Trek.


 Now I know why you're always wrong. :lol


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## MyTimeIsJustAboutUp (Nov 16, 2017)

I may have to be taking an antiparanoia drug soon - because the Borg aren't really harming me on a day-to-day basis - I'm just imagining that they are - they have ways of ruining lives without ever talking to me. They call my property manager to make false complaints against me. My property manager considers their complaints more important than mine (even though I'm his tenant and they are not). He wants their votes to secure a place on the Co-op's Board of Directors. Since I cannot vote (as a Sponsor tenant), I don't matter to him. Anyone who lives in New York as a Sponsor tenant in a co-op apartment complex should know what I'm trying to communicate here. My life is Hell. And I cannot just pick up and move. I'm cornered. I'm beginning to have dreams at night that they're all outside my door shouting abuse at me. While my kitchen radiator is in flames - and blowing up.


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

Jason Aibot said:


> Turns out I spelled Bocce wrong (I think they anglicized Boccia to Bocche here at school, and so I'm like "yup, that's the spelling of Bocce")
> 
> There's actually two games. _Bocce_ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bocce, and _boccia_ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boccia. If you say "bocce", many italians will present you with some combination of the two (especially here in the states, some of us play bocce on boccia courts).


Thanks for that. lol I never in my life knew about Bocce, and I never knew that Boccia was the version of Bocce for people with physical disabilities. Weirdddddddddddddddddd


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## Gorgoroth9 (Jul 4, 2016)

Reminds me of my coworkers who gossip all the time. I'm part of their group, and listen to what they have to say in case it is relevant to my own well-being, but I don't respect them, and don't tell them that I disagree with their judgmental, control-freak agenda. They're vicious when they have a coworker they collectively disapprove of, and it's usually over something dumb and trivial. They'll rat people out to the boss for something like not following dress code, and disparage coworkers they don't like relentlessly. They're vicious, shallow animals, and I wish I had better friends. Our boss rewards their behavior too because they give her the dirt on everyone else so she can better control her staff, and they also do my boss' menial work so she uses them for that. I'll defend people that aren't in the room to defend themselves when necessary, or when I'm fed up with their behavior, but mostly I just don't participate in these conversations. I think they vaguely know I'm not quite on board, but they keep me around for whatever reason. Probably because I'm dating one of the people in this group- and I tell him what I really feel when they're not around.


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## MyTimeIsJustAboutUp (Nov 16, 2017)

Gorgoroth9 said:


> I think they vaguely know I'm not quite on board, but they keep me around for whatever reason. Probably because I'm dating one of the people in this group- and I tell him what I really feel when they're not around.


I was with you right up until the last two sentences. I don't get it. But I'm not long for this co-op apartment complex that I've lived in all of my life. It's all ending soon. Everything is ending soon. My cat is dying soon. My mother no longer loves me or wants me to move with her to a new apartment. And I will be in a room in a house soon. With strangers. Wherever welfare puts me.


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## MyTimeIsJustAboutUp (Nov 16, 2017)

Isn't there anybody who's lived through all of my problems and survived? I'm not getting by - anymore. Between the impending threat of relocation and the abject poverty and the lack of friends or family members and the fear of my neighbors plotting against me and the pain (that I'm not learning to cope with) of losing a loved one and the severe anxiety and depression that never seems to subside, I'm feeling like I have almost no chance of survival anymore. And I must be ill, too. I hurt, my throat is always dry, foul odors eminating from throat. I can't possibly be well. And all roads will lead to being a plaything for doctors and drug companies. That's what happens to people when they're alone.


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## Gorgoroth9 (Jul 4, 2016)

MyTimeIsJustAboutUp said:


> I was with you right up until the last two sentences. I don't get it. But I'm not long for this co-op apartment complex that I've lived in all of my life. It's all ending soon. Everything is ending soon. My cat is dying soon. My mother no longer loves me or wants me to move with her to a new apartment. And I will be in a room in a house soon. With strangers. Wherever welfare puts me.


I would tell them all what I really think, but I know they would turn on me, and I cannot withstand an attack from the borg. My boyfriend doesn't even agree with me most of the time. I sometimes think it'd be best if I broke up with him, lived in an apartment with myself, a cat, and only socialized at work because I have to make money.


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## MyTimeIsJustAboutUp (Nov 16, 2017)

I'm so cold now. I feel like my body is close to the edge of entering starvation mode. I barely ate anything yesterday. My anxiety is so severe. I have maybe a few bites and swallow. Then everything in my throat tightens up. And I can no longer swallow without the intense fear of choking. I'm going to have to start keeping some kind of healthier version of Ensure in my home. I can't sleep feeling like I'm starving. I can't turn my heat on because the room will go from the sixties straight to the nineties immediately. My scumbag slum lord and his unwillingness to install a variable, adjustable valve on the radiator - I hope a giant menorah comes to life (like the Paul Bunyan statue in Stephen King's It) and lights him on fire - and he runs around in flames like the giant spider in Arachnophobia, at the end, right before Jeff Daniels kills it.


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## MyTimeIsJustAboutUp (Nov 16, 2017)

What a long day it's been - and I've done absolutely nothing at all. No family, no friends. Nothing. I can't begin to imagine how empty the rest of today and tomorrow is going to feel. Everyday to me feels like some ordeal that you only see in a movie that takes place over the course of 24 hours. My heart can't possibly last much longer under this psychotic, irrational form of self-induced stress. Imaginary problems sleeping, eating, and anything else I can think of - next it will probably be crapping. Ten years ago, I had several ER visits that centered on that issue - I went a week without crapping. Luckily, I had a good ER doctor for one of the many visits - he gave me Lactulose and Donnatal. That would never happen today. Because I'm plagued with the stigma that comes with having a psychiatric record (and in this newer, less private digital age EVERYONE SEEMS TO KNOW ABOUT IT WITHOUT ME TELLING THEM), they wouldn't even put Donnatal (which is supposed to be a part of every GI cocktail) in my IV at my last ER visit a few months ago (it was my first ER visit for anxiety related problems in over 2 YEARS! ). What - am I supposed to be perfect? Is everyone supposed to be perfect because there are so many more people in the world now? And there's a permanent record of EVERYTHING. Ridiculous. I don't feel valued at all in this world. You know, in the last ten years, I've had ONLY TWO anxiety related ER visits. Before that, I had many over a period of a few months. And before that, I had almost none. Why do I have to be penalized for the rest of my life because I had a bad time ten years ago for a few months?


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## MyTimeIsJustAboutUp (Nov 16, 2017)

I feel pretty sick tonight. I'm usually not up in the middle of the night feeling this bad. I wish that someone cared about me. I'm like the Frankenstein's Monster. Nobody wants me around. And the only reason they don't physically harm me is because they're afraid that I'll physically harm them. I feel a sense of death all around me. I've been having fits of panic and gagging during the night. Like I'm choking. My mouth and throat are so dry every night. And my saliva makes the outside of my mouth stink when I lick my lips. I must be very ill. And I'm probably acidic and have some form of autoimmune disease like cancer. I can't stop swallowing Elavil or Valium or Restoril every night. My body never has a chance to rid all of the drugs from my system and to repair itself. This is how people get cancer or sicknesses like it. They overload their bodies with toxins. I just can't stop though. My bedroom is so cold, too. This weather is frightening. It's like living in Alaska. Fifty mile an hour winds making it feel like twenty below outside at three in the morning. I have to get this air conditioner out of my window. All of the cold air is just blasting into my room through it and around it. Making it feel like fifty-five degrees in my bedroom.


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## MyTimeIsJustAboutUp (Nov 16, 2017)

If anyone wants to email me, my address is d_kimball at protonmail dot com. I feel so alone.


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