# I think it's working...



## RubyTuesday (Aug 3, 2007)

Hi,

I meditated about twice last night. It's the only thing that comes to mind that I did differently (normally when I meditate it's once a day).

And today, I felt considerably less tigthly wound-up. there was less of that anxious energy waiting to burst inside. And I was more like how I used to be when I was on top of my emotions more, rather than them controlling me. 

I still had nervousness but it wasn't so bad. More like a manageable kind, and I don't mind my self that way -like being really sensitive and highly tuned but not in such a negative way.

I did job searching at the place I have to go to every week and a guy who talked a lot to me was there again. That's pretty cool as well. Even if it just stays a friendship/acquaintance thing, it's still something. ...Particularly considering how this last two years I've been practically housebound, rarely going out the house even.

And I'm interested again in looking for jobs -actually interested; whereas before I was quite intimidated by the idea. Having lost two jobs in two years and barely worked before then (not much at least). 

Anyhow, i'm enjoying the feeling of not having my emotions totally overwhelm me, and of being able to enjoy feeling calm around people. -It's nice. And it's nice being friendly to strangers.

I'm going to keep meditating. I think it may be having a really good effect on me.


----------



## embers (Dec 19, 2006)

Thats great you're noticing a difference when you meditate. My emotions overwhelm me too, and if I get control of my mind, it puts the emotions in line. They do sort of rise to the surface at times, but I can logically put them back into place. 

It does make you feel more organized and that you can take on considerably much more than usual because you're in the driver's seat again. I find that meditating or reading from a zen book (I read the one by Daniel Levin) before I go out socially helps keep the anxiety in check. Even if I do have anxiety, I have a clear heard to rationalize it. If that makes sense. 

I'm glad its working for you Ruby :squeeze


----------



## ShyFX (Mar 6, 2006)

Glad you found something that helps Ruby.  I wish I could meditate. I tried it a few times but I can't stop my mind from wandering. I usually give up after 10 or 15 minutes.


----------



## CoconutHolder (Oct 13, 2007)

Glad to hear that Ruby. I have a really hard time sitting and meditating but I love doing yoga. I consider yoga a form of meditation. I need movement with my meditation.


----------



## smiles (Nov 13, 2006)

awesome... keep going!


----------



## RubyTuesday (Aug 3, 2007)

Thanks everyone.  

PArt of the reason I'm feeling more confident is because I've been getting attention and interacting with a guy and he seems to have a very different approach with people to me. -Much more relaxed and so forth. He 'thinks less' if that makes sense. I'm more academic, but he's more smart with people.

But I have also been less nervous around him and I think that is to do with meditating. 

For those who'd like to pursue it I recommend using guided meditation CDs. -Without these, my practise wouldn't have gotten as far and I'd probably still be struggling a lot with it. It helps a lot to have a voice reminding you to focus back on your breath -especially as I notice how often my mind wanders off and thinks of other things.

Another tip is to follow Andrew Weiss' program for Mindfulness training in his book: "Beginning Mindfulness".
It has step by step weekly exercises to practise that build up a person's 'emotional stamina' and enables them to develop the control to think what they want to think when they want to think it, etc.


----------



## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

Way to go Elisa, that's great. Isn't meditation wonderful?

It helps me a lot too with the same thing of calming, taming, and controlling my mind. Piano practice is so much attentive to details and dynamics, and the sound of my Boston hears so much clearer and richer, tennis I'm more focused, jogging too, and appreciating and enjoying the very many beautiful sensual things around me.

Have you ever tried a subtle energy practice like yoga, tai chi, etc. Accompanied with meditation it does and add so much other wonderful things.

Like this for yoga: Excellent source and magazine: http://www.yogajournal.com/

Good luck with job searching.

That guy seems pretty nice to you. I'm glad he seems to also help you feel confident.

If you want, here's a more really friendly easy to read book of meditation

Meditation: Path to the Deepest Self by Michal Levin

and this nice little gem of a book

The Meditation Bible: The Definitive Guide to Meditations for Every Purpose by Madonna Gauding

and remember try doing shadow work too, hun (sorry, too concerned). Gerzon's book is helping me a lot. It has shadow work material in the book just to remind you. It's called again, Finding Serenity in the Age of Anxiety by Robert Gerzon.

Anyway, I hope all is well. Seems like a very good step Elisa. Keep it up.

Warmly and sincerely,
Gerard


----------

