# i asked a girl out and she said she had a bf



## cokeman12 (Feb 2, 2013)

she said she had a bf and we should hang out
then she tried to add me on fb
and wanted to hang out and go to movies
and she was doing all kind of stuffs so we can be friends and hang out
but i said no no no and we shouldn't talk again, now i feel bad and i think she is hurting, should i beg her and be friends


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## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

Tell her you want to spread nutella on her ***.


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## Nono441 (May 14, 2012)

jesus..


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## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

Um... thats a rather awkward situation for which I have no useful advice


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## TheTruthIsOutThere (Apr 10, 2012)

no don't beg her but apologize and don't be a dick just because a girl just wants to be friends


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## SeeMeWhenImInvisible (Apr 3, 2011)

i think she really likes you as a person, and there is nothing wrong with being her friend. i think you should give her a chance


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

ManOfFewWords said:


> Tell her you want to spread nutella on her ***.


agreed,


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

cokeman12 said:


> she said she had a bf and we should hang out
> then she tried to add me on fb
> and wanted to hang out and go to movies
> and she was doing all kind of stuffs so we can be friends and hang out
> but i said no no no and we shouldn't talk again, now i feel bad and i think she is hurting, should i beg her and be friends


When you put your foot down, you keep it there. If you can keep right on the neck.


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

ManOfFewWords said:


> Tell her you want to spread nutella on her ***.


try this line it will work


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## J_Duece (Mar 11, 2009)

She probably just wants your attention, don't subject yourself to that bro.


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## d low (Jan 11, 2012)

how old are you cokeman? your english is hard to read, needs working on.


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## John The Great (Jul 23, 2012)

Why did you say no? If you liked her enough to ask her out and she had a boyfriend, then being 'friends' (which she initiated) would have opened up a window to tun her heart in your direction.


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## A name (Dec 5, 2012)

Not sure why you said no and then said you didn't wanna talk to her... but just say you're sorry I guess.


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## elvin jones (Dec 12, 2011)

Rookie mistake. She probably has even hotter friends who are single that she could introduce you to. Networking is the only way to deal with social anxiety. If you turn down opportunities you'll be stuck in isolation forever.


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## MRX (Jan 3, 2013)

Maybe you should be her friend and keep looking around for other girls to date. No harm in having a friend I wish I had a friend right now.


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## extremly (Oct 25, 2012)

As long as you and her *both* understand is only a friendship, then no harm. I hate when you ask out a girl, she says no and she starts toying with you. If she is really cool and you honestly feel comfortable hanging out with her and not feeling any romantic impulse go ahead and be friends, seems like a healthy relationship to me.

Either way, are you sure she has a bf? When you pick up girls and they are mildly interested but aren't sure, many times they will give you their numbers but still insist that "they have a bf". Is kind of a defense mechanism. You should make sure she really has a bf.


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

If you cant be an actual friend, then simply dont. If you pretend to be one, then you will end up as a jerk. 

So do whatever is right. If you cant be friends without bitterness, just say "sorry im not interested in friendship".


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## WD3 (Oct 11, 2012)

Dont beg but just hang out with her and try not to get your hopes up to high. Maybe you will meet some of her friends and you may get lucky.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

cokeman12 said:


> she said she had a bf and we should hang out
> then she tried to add me on fb
> and wanted to hang out and go to movies
> and she was doing all kind of stuffs so we can be friends and hang out
> but i said no no no and we shouldn't talk again, now i feel bad and i think she is hurting, should i beg her and be friends


Kind of in to far now, it's turned out messy and going back to how things were would be difficult. So unless you knew this person very well and she was a good friend I don't see a problem in cutting ties.


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

Aye man... it could be worse.... i asked out a girl back in december only to find out today, that she had a bf and she led me on thinking that there was actually going to be a date all this time... that hurt like a mother****er... i dont even understand why she would say yes if she already had a bf... why would anyone do that?


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## Ultragamer (Nov 9, 2012)

illmatic1 said:


> i dont even understand why she would say yes if she already had a bf... why would anyone do that?


friend zoned big time



Brian76 said:


> if she initiates contact again try to make amends and you could always say sorry and tell her that you overreacted


I second this  but yeah, don't go expecting anything more than friendship with her. It's still up to you if you even want and feel ok with being friends with her, don't think you have to.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Story of my life, man.


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

Ultragamer said:


> friend zoned big time


it cant even be the friend zone because when i asked her out... i specifically said "date"... and when i tried to setup a date... i specifically said "date" multiple times... i kind of feel like i was her plan b or something just in case her "plan A" didnt work out and she was just leading me on so that she would have a back up in the even that her "plan A" didnt like her..... and that really sucks


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## TheTraveler (Jan 31, 2013)

OMG seriously? You stay friends with her and when they split up you try again! omg you just shot yourself in the foot!!!


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## Nono441 (May 14, 2012)

I realized I actually forgot to give any advice. So my advice is: *run the **** away*.


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## Angelbroken (Jun 30, 2011)

I don't see whats wrong with just having a friend.

I don't know why every male on this site is hunting for *** . . . If it's on your mind that badly, go fap and get it out of your system before logging on so you can spare us the grief of dealing with hundreds of these topics daily.


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## lightningstorm (Oct 10, 2012)

What you did was perfect. If you like a girl for a while, and she wants to be your friend, then absolutely tell her to go **** herself. You want to be more than a friend. Dont talk to her, unless she initiates the contact and don't ever beg her or say sorry for what you did. Dont mistreat her, but at the same time, increase the distance from her. You don't want to be her toy.


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

Angelbroken said:


> I don't see whats wrong with just having a friend.
> 
> I don't know why every male on this site is hunting for *** . . . If it's on your mind that badly, go fap and get it out of your system before logging on so you can spare us the grief of dealing with hundreds of these topics daily.


There's nothing wrong with having a friend. Trying to start a relationship with a girl you really like however, only to end up being her friend is kind of a kick in the balls. It's a pretty confusing position to some people so that's why there's a lot of threads about it.


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## Sam1911 (Dec 4, 2010)

cokeman12 said:


> she said she had a bf and we should hang out
> then she tried to add me on fb
> and wanted to hang out and go to movies
> and she was doing all kind of stuffs so we can be friends and hang out
> but i said no no no and we shouldn't talk again, now i feel bad and i think she is hurting, should i beg her and be friends


keep away . . you don't wanna be friend zoned!!!!! besides her bf wont like her hanging out with you


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Why waste your time with a girl you're sexually interested in and torture yourself just "being friends" if that's not what you want. The good thing about not know this girl is that you have no emotional investment in her to be her gay best friend, so don't. Save yourself the agony

I met some girl at the bar last weekend and she seemed interested in me texting me and whatnot. I suggested a coffee date and she said how busy she is (typical of a girl who's not interested), but she was the type to text me for the **** of it for no reason, and so eventually i just flat out asked her if she's interesting in dating and she said she's too busy and so I told her we have different priorities, told her it was good to meet her and wished her luck with whatever and she didn't even text me back after that. I feel much better cutting it off there then her eventually cutting it off anyway because she's just wasting my ****ing time or me becoming her gay best friend. **** that. I spent all that effort getting to know her and then be placed in the friend zone? **** that. If anything, she was using me for personal entertainment because if she didn't have time to date then she wouldn't have time to hang out (supposedly) even as gay best friends so she was ****ing with me anyway.

Some girls get upset when they ask to just be friends and you don't want to be friends. It's like they expect to reject you and then you change your priorities, be fine with that and accept to be her gay best friend? yeah right


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

bwidger85 said:


> Why waste your time with a girl you're sexually interested in and torture yourself just "being friends" if that's not what you want. The good thing about not know this girl is that you have no emotional investment in her to be her gay best friend, so don't. Save yourself the agony
> 
> I met some girl at the bar last weekend and she seemed interested in me texting me and whatnot. I suggested a coffee date and she said how busy she is (typical of a girl who's not interested), but she was the type to text me for the **** of it for no reason, and so eventually i just flat out asked her if she's interesting in dating and she said she's too busy and so I told her we have different priorities, told her it was good to meet her and wished her luck with whatever and she didn't even text me back after that. I feel much better cutting it off there then her eventually cutting it off anyway because she's just wasting my ****ing time or me becoming her gay best friend. **** that. I spent all that effort getting to know her and then be placed in the friend zone? **** that. If anything, she was using me for personal entertainment because if she didn't have time to date then she wouldn't have time to hang out (supposedly) even as gay best friends so she was ****ing with me anyway.
> 
> Some girls get upset when they ask to just be friends and you don't want to be friends. It's like they expect to reject you and then you change your priorities, be fine with that and accept to be her gay best friend? yeah right


who said girlfriend has to be sexual or like dating, that means you can only have one girlfriend in your life


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

monotonous said:


> who said girlfriend has to be sexual or like dating, that means you can only have one girlfriend in your life


That makes no sense


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> That makes no sense


Lol he is saying that a friend whom is a girl is your girl friend :s??


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## mzmz (Feb 26, 2012)

*not agian*



Invisiblehandicap said:


> If you cant be an actual friend, then simply dont. If you pretend to be one, then you will end up as a jerk.
> 
> So do whatever is right. If you cant be friends without bitterness, just say "sorry im not interested in friendship".


^agreed



illmatic1 said:


> Aye man... it could be worse.... i asked out a girl back in december only to find out today, that she had a bf and she led me on thinking that there was actually going to be a date all this time... that hurt like a mother****er... i dont even understand why she would say yes if she already had a bf... why would anyone do that?


^she might have liked you even more but wasnt sure how much you liked her back, so she played around..why do u assume she wanted the other guy more? classic low self esteem.



Angelbroken said:


> I don't see whats wrong with just having a friend.
> 
> I don't know why every male on this site is hunting for *** . . . If it's on your mind that badly, go fap and get it out of your system before logging on so you can spare us the grief of dealing with hundreds of these topics daily.


^I would love to have both male and female friends and dont ever feel sorry for someone who has that option.



lightningstorm said:


> What you did was perfect. If you like a girl for a while, and she wants to be your friend, then absolutely tell her to go **** herself. You want to be more than a friend. Dont talk to her, unless she initiates the contact and don't ever beg her or say sorry for what you did. Dont mistreat her, but at the same time, increase the distance from her. You don't want to be her toy.


^Off course, this is also true, as some women really are after attn and that's not cool.

I recently wanted to date someone, and ended up seeing him while with an ex bf (who i'm on speaking terms with) and now he wont hang out with me at all. either it was that, or that i'm weird.

:roll


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

mzmz said:


> ^she might have liked you even more but wasnt sure how much you liked her back, so she played around..why do u assume she wanted the other guy more? classic low self esteem.


I actually have Ok self esteem, i think... im sure that alot of the people on here think im a bit of a prick because im kinda confident... i think she doesnt like me cause she wont say hi to me first (accept when i first met her).... and because after i asked her out she was never really available...like if i asked her "what day do u want to go out?" she would say something like "preferably on a day i dont work haha" kinda forcing me to ask her "well what days do u work?" and i couldnt ask her that cause i felt like i was being a creeper, or pushy or something like that... i feel like if she liked me she would have just said "im not busy this weekend" or given me a particular day that she was available or something like that... plus one time i did get bold enough to ask her "what are u doing next weekend?" and she ignored my text so i think thats kind of just a tell all sign that shes tryng to say "im not interested" or "i found someone better than you"

if you were trying to cheer me up, thank u and i appreciate, i just think that she liked me at one point and that it took me so long to ask her out (cause of SA) that either her feelings faded or she thought i was trying to play her... i really dont mean this post to be snarky at all, but reading it back to myself i thought that it did sound a little snarky and i just wanted to let you know that i dont mean to be that way at all... its just difficult to convey tone through text


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

bwidger85 said:


> That makes no sense


if you meet girls just to make them become your girlfriends if its not happening you just move on then you will have no girlfriend until you meet the one who later on become your girlfriend, after you have already have this girlfriend it's clearly immoral to make other girlfriends

hope this make sense to you


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## mzmz (Feb 26, 2012)

*no you dont sound snarky*



illmatic1 said:


> I actually have Ok self esteem, i think... im sure that alot of the people on here think im a bit of a prick because im kinda confident... i think she doesnt like me cause she wont say hi to me first (accept when i first met her).... and because after i asked her out she was never really available...like if i asked her "what day do u want to go out?" she would say something like "preferably on a day i dont work haha" kinda forcing me to ask her "well what days do u work?" and i couldnt ask her that cause i felt like i was being a creeper, or pushy or something like that... i feel like if she liked me she would have just said "im not busy this weekend" or given me a particular day that she was available or something like that... plus one time i did get bold enough to ask her "what are u doing next weekend?" and she ignored my text so i think thats kind of just a tell all sign that shes tryng to say "im not interested" or "i found someone better than you"
> 
> if you were trying to cheer me up, thank u and i appreciate, i just think that she liked me at one point and that it took me so long to ask her out (cause of SA) that either her feelings faded or she thought i was trying to play her... i really dont mean this post to be snarky at all, but reading it back to myself i thought that it did sound a little snarky and i just wanted to let you know that i dont mean to be that way at all... its just difficult to convey tone through text


you've always seemed confidant but not full of yourself, no.

I guess the truth is contained ^ above. That is, that you have all kinds of ideas of what she thought, what you said or could have said, and her reactions. Only, you'll never know now, cause you missed the effin boat.

DOOM DOOM DOOM, SA strikes again!

LOL

I just can really relate to her, becuase if a guy shows interest in mew i make it difficult, and will even offer my friendship when i want more becuase i dont think he would really like me or whatever.

Keep up the trying - your bound to get it right one of these days!


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

monotonous said:


> if you meet girls just to make them become your girlfriends if its not happening you just move on then you will have no girlfriend until you meet the one who later on become your girlfriend, after you have already have this girlfriend it's clearly immoral to make other girlfriends
> 
> hope this make sense to you


not necessarily. there are things such as open relationships. aside from that, people don't have to become boyfriend and girlfriend. they don't have to be serious.

but if you have agreed to be monogamous with someone and that is what is expected, i do believe it is wrong to cheat. iw ouldn't want to hurt and lie to somoene i loved, or even someone whom I didn't love but I gave my word to be faithful too. i'd rather breakup before i'd cheat. i wouldn't want someone to cheat on me and i wouldn't want to do that to someone else.

but w/e...............................................


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## Ultragamer (Nov 9, 2012)

illmatic1 said:


> it cant even be the friend zone because when i asked her out... i specifically said "date"... and when i tried to setup a date... i specifically said "date" multiple times... i kind of feel like i was her plan b or something just in case her "plan A" didnt work out and she was just leading me on so that she would have a back up in the even that her "plan A" didnt like her..... and that really sucks


Omg I was misunderstanding completely. Yeah it's no friend zone, it's exactly as you said, you were a backup. It doesn't suck, you're better off not getting involved with somebody like that who puts people on backup while having a boyfriend. But I know it sucks in the way that it ended up like that. When you try to get involved, asking people out, don't expect too much, be wary, so you won't be as pissed if things don't turn out the way you might have wanted them to.


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## ShyDancer321 (Sep 11, 2012)

elvin jones said:


> Rookie mistake. She probably has even hotter friends who are single that she could introduce you to. Networking is the only way to deal with social anxiety. If you turn down opportunities you'll be stuck in isolation forever.


:clap This is so true. The more people you can meet the better. You never know when out of no where someone will show an interest in you. It happens when you absolutely least expect it.

The friend zone completely sucks, but at the same time, I always feel having a friend is better than no friend at all.


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

Ultragamer said:


> Omg I was misunderstanding completely. Yeah it's no friend zone, it's exactly as you said, you were a backup. It doesn't suck, you're better off not getting involved with somebody like that who puts people on backup while having a boyfriend. But I know it sucks in the way that it ended up like that. When you try to get involved, asking people out, don't expect too much, be wary, so you won't be as pissed if things don't turn out the way you might have wanted them to.


yeah, i got over it pretty quickly, i just went on a date with a different girl last night and had fun so i think im gonna see were that goes than waste anymore thoughts on her...


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## Nono441 (May 14, 2012)

ShyDancer321 said:


> The friend zone completely sucks, but at the same time, I always feel having a friend is better than no friend at all.


Not for the one who was friendzoned and can't get over it instantly. The only cure is to distance yourself and cut all contact. It's honestly better that way.


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## elvin jones (Dec 12, 2011)

Nono441 said:


> Not for the one who was friendzoned and can't get over it instantly. The only cure is to distance yourself and cut all contact. It's honestly better that way.


Wouldn't it be better to have a friend than zero friends? I don't get it. Obviously there was something that you found interesting about her. Unless you just wanted to sleep with her then I understand why you wouldn't want to talk to her again.

You can't really be upset or mad at someone because they don't find you attractive. You can't force people to like you. That's what I never understood about the term "friendzone". Doesn't it just mean she isn't sexually attracted to you? Better to be honest with yourself than make up silly terms to protect your ego. Because that's just lying to yourself.


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