# Do you feel like you missed out on being a teenager?



## AngelClare

I didn't go to the junior prom or senior prom. Never went to a single high school party. I didn't have my first kiss or lose my virginity in high school. I didn't have a single friend to have fun with and get into trouble with. All because of my social anxiety.

Now that my social anxiety is almost gone and I'm in my 30's I feel like I missed on being a teenager. When I watch John Hughes' movies like The Breakfast Club or any coming of age teen movie I feel this regret. 

And now I've been dating younger girls (19+), smoking pot and stuff trying to reclaim lost youth but all in vain. 

I feel like I want a rent out a hall and have it decorated like a prom and dance with a woman in a prom dress. lol

It's like the way Michael Jackson had trouble letting go of his lost childhood I have trouble letting go of my lost teenage years. 

Anyone else feel like this?


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## kinzer23

Abso-bloody-lutely! This is one of the things that really makes me feel sub standard. Such a void in my life. The worst thing is, as you noted, it simply can't be fixed or replaced. Once you've missed this bus it's well and truly gone.


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## popeet

No, even though I left high school in the 10th grade. I didn't do proms, but I did move away from home and go to college/have my own apartment early and that was way better than prom. I could have done my teen years better had I not been shame-based and easily intimidated out of enjoying life. I did, however, feel like I missed out on my 20's. My teenage years from 16-20 were pretty good. But by the time I was 21 I was a fat recluse who felt terrible all of the time. I kinda picked up again with a few things in my late 20's for a minute, but nothing that would replace the carefree teenage years. I'm looking forward to my 40's. Not being younger so much as just having a good *** time.


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## probably offline

No, not at all. I did all those things when I was "supposed to" be doing them.


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## Sourgirl25

AngelClare said:


> I didn't go to the junior prom or senior prom. Never went to a single high school party. I didn't have my first kiss or lose my virginity in high school. I didn't have a single friend to have fun with and get into trouble with. All because of my social anxiety.
> 
> Now that my social anxiety is almost gone and I'm in my 30's I feel like I missed on being a teenager. When I watch John Hughes' movies like The Breakfast Club or any coming of age teen movie I feel this regret.
> 
> And now I've been dating younger girls (19+), smoking pot and stuff trying to reclaim lost youth but all in vain.
> 
> I feel like I want a rent out a hall and have it decorated like a prom and dance with a woman in a prom dress. lol
> 
> It's like the way Michael Jackson had trouble letting go of his lost childhood I have trouble letting go of my lost teenage years.
> 
> Anyone else feel like this?


oh,yes.. i missed out on my teenage years having close friends again like in middle school and just being young but am still in my 20s late 20s sadly. but am still trying to live a normal life going on a few dates, one or two parties,drinking and smoking.and enjoy it before am to old, lol but at some point you just have to accept that this is just the way things are going to be. either its due to SA or lack or resources (controlling family.money,education,car,inexperience etc..) some people just are not so lucky and the ones that are should appreciate the life and friends and experiences they have. you never know who or what can steal it all away.


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## Mongoose

I missed out on all the things normal teenagers and college kids did. Now I'm missing out on all the things people my age do. Looking back on it, it's my fault I missed out on life because I had no social skills or self-awareness. Now I know what I did wrong, but it's too late to change. I basically died years ago.


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## BelowtheCurrent

To some extent. I would say my only real year was the ninth grade. After that I moved to a new state and new school and my life got all screwed over. 
I no longer had my old friends and I had trouble actually finding similar ones and really never did, not one. I miss my old friends. 
But now that I have been in college for a few years things have changed.

Oh sorry just noticed this is in the 30+ thread


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## Revenwyn

Yes, I was homeschooled, was not allowed to date, dance, wear style that was popular in any time of the 20th century, had to cover my hair, could not go swimming, and had to wait for my family to arrange a marriage for me, which I rebelled against. 

I also have never seen a TV show (still to this day) did not have internet, never saw movies, all my books were pre-read for me to make sure they were appropriate (and sometimes most of the book passed but even references to holding hands with a person were crossed out with white-out) did not have radio, and could only listen to classical music or hymns. 

I also was not allowed to talk to someone of the opposite gender for more than a couple of minutes. If I did, I was whipped with the metal end of a belt. 

I finally got out when I was 27. They had taken to locking me in my bedroom.


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## michijo

Nah, I was really rebellious and not at all sheltered by my parents. My parents took drugs and got divorced. It was all fairly wild, like breaking into buildings and vandalization. That may be one reason I really dont regret my teenage years, because through various events and decisions, I managed to really kick society in the ***. I am even a convicted felon from vandalizing a boyscout building. We broke into it and spraypainted the inside of it and trashed all the boyscout patches. It was federal property of the US government. We failed to realize that at the time. Its like vandalizing a police station. Lost my virginity to some promiscuous chick who had sex with multiple men at once. If I told everything I did then, your jaw would fall to the floor.

Strangely, this time period has no meaning for me. I dont see it as wasted at all. Whatever you do during teen years has no meaning in my opinion. You are too young for it to really even be considered lost time. The only thing to regret is not giving society a fight. I continue to fight society and feel good about it, marching against Monsanto, etc.


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## michijo

Yeah, I want to say people are too into being normal, like they want to go to the prom. Even when I was a teenager, I didn't want to be normal. I never tried and it never occurred to me that it was important. Its not important to me now either. I do things how I want and how I think they are right. A lot of people on here put importance on normality and the alpha elite or whatever, and that is really your powerful weakness.

However I was in school detention, and it wasn't fun like the Breakfast club. They had strange partitions up between every desk so that you couldn't see your neighbor or anything but the wall in front of you. They brought food to you and you had to eat it at the desk facing the wall. I did a few good drawings in there though.


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## mfd

I was home schooled for all of high school except my senior year, so I can relate to not feeling like you got to be a teenager.

That last year that I did go back I got a taste of it, but by that point my SA was pretty bad so I couldn't really enjoy it.

I'm not sure if this is offensive to say, but it sounds like you could be experiencing a bit of a mid-life crisis, not that I'm any kind of expert on such a thing. But that feeling of lost youth and seeking out the activities you missed out on sounds like what I've heard it's like... I apologize if that's rude :|



AngelClare said:


> Never went to a single high school party.


You didn't miss much, trust me. I was dragged to a few house parties, and they were nothing but a bunch of teenagers acting like they were drunker than they were. The only one I stayed at longer than 30 minutes was a New Years party.


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## anonymid

I feel more like I missed out on my 20s. I didn't have much of a life as a teenager, either, but eh, I don't think I care enough to want to do those years over.

I did go to a couple proms, but knowing that I went to them doesn't make me feel like any more of a person. They didn't furnish me with any precious memories.


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## Fenren

I sometimes dwell on that I missed out on teenage love, like everyone else I knew had their first relationship/sexual experiences with girls at 14 - 19. I did have a couple of chances but my SA was more intense then, well everything felt more intense! I had 2 friends in school from the year below that I saw, played computer games with and watched movies, so that was something I guess.
My 20s were made up of working in a low paid job I managed to get, no life besides that really, no sex or girlfriends still, just more wasted opportunities and avoidance. My 30s is even worse, more isolated and alone than ever. But things can change, if you have life you have hope. :um


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## PickleNose

No. I just wasn't a typical teenager. I didn't have any interest in socializing, sports or the prom or anything like that.


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## coffeeandflowers

It doesn't really bother me anymore. It has been a long time since high school. What I regret more are my college years, not having done more then, like partying, dating (although I did go to a party or two, and date some guys). What I am regretting more than anything really is not doing more with my life _now_ as it is, do the things I want to do.

Still, I'd like to have some of those crazy high school stories. My sister talks about hers all the time. All I have are memories of breakdowns. It sucks, but what can I do? Can't change the past...well, only the way I think about it and I don't think about it much these days.


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## Captainmycaptain

I don't really think about it. It doesn't upset me. But just for the record, in high school, I had no friends, didn't go to the prom, got THE LEAST applause of all 300 graduating seniors that went up for the diploma. I wouldn't even be surprised if someone people were either wondering who the hell I was, or were surprised that I was still in the school when I went on stage. Didn't eat in the cafeteria the last two years of high school. Took as few classes as possible. Left the school as soon as the last class was over. Mostly hung out in the backroom of the cafeteria. I was far worse than any geek. I was invisible. I wish I had discovered alcohol in high school. I would have just sipped vodka throughout the day and at least been comfortable.


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## aquilla

A little. I did not do the things teenage people do (well at least I did not go to parties, did not drink, date boys and all that).At times I tend to idealize such experiences because I never had it and then my younger sister is complaining about how boring teenage years actually are, I just want to say "nooooo , it must NOT be boring, like, look at yourself, you're a young and beautiful teenage girl, go out and have fun " 
But then I think again... Mine teenage years weren't terrible either. If not for constant bullying at school ( verbal and physical) it was quite ok , as I just spent my time with smart adults , read books, went to my amazing art school and basically did interesting things.


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## WineKitty

Nope. I was actually went out all the time back then. Had friends in high school. Sadly, although I still know those friends we kind of grew in different directions. Shame.


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## Nads

I don't miss my teenage years at all. It was the worst time of of my life. Grade school was bull****. I do miss college sometimes though. I had a steady girlfriend throughout college. Got laid all the time. Now I'm single living in the big city. I have a close group of friends but I totally feel alone and have anxiety in social settings.


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## harrison

My teenage years seem like several lifetimes ago. But I didn't really miss out on much. I left school at 16 - I went to a private religious school (ridiculous) and I never had any trouble with bullying or things like that. I was a bit of an egg head - I studied a lot at night and was at the top of the class with another kid who was a friend of mine. No-one really had parties when I was at high school - but I did all that in my twenties. I got tired of school at 16 and told my father I was leaving - he was a bit annoyed for a while but when I told him I'd go to TAFE ( technical college) he calmed down. I left that after a year too and went to work at a large hospital that was near to where I grew up. I had a great time there for the next few years - met my first 2 girlfriends there. My anxiety didn't really kick in until later, although I found doing certain things at TAFE difficult, like doing a presentation etc.


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## komorikun

I did not go to school age 12-17 and I don't really care. I made up for it (sort of) in my 20s and early 30s. I only wish I had started junior college at age 15 instead of 18. I could hack college but not high school.


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## Tink76

Oh, absolutely! Having suffered from bullying and SA in high school I can say that that's me, too. I so wish I knew in high school what I know now. For example I didn't know what I had was SA, just thought it was shyness or something. I remember, in our year 12 yearbook we had our school picture next to a baby picture of ourselves, and there was a quote there next to your picture that was supplied by your friends, which was supposed to be a funny thing you said, or something that reflected who you were. No quote was given to the kids who were organising it for me and so when I got the book next to my name it said "had a farm"...because my last name was McDonnell and they used to sing that Old MacDonald song at me with me name in it (got this from kindergarten all the way through til year 12...you think they'd get over it). I gave my unsigned copy of the book to the school library. Anyway, I realise I sound a bit "poor me", I just wish I had friends, a signed book with a quote like everyone else, and better memories.


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## Tink76

AngelClare said:


> I didn't go to the junior prom or senior prom. Never went to a single high school party. I didn't have my first kiss or lose my virginity in high school.


At our school the dances were called 'Socials', never went to one. And at the end of high school in year 12 we have a 'Formal' which is another dinner / dance. I didn't go to that either. Ditto the first kiss and virginity thing too.

I wish I could do it again and sometimes fantasise about that.


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## VanGogh

There were a few fleeting moments during high school that I was able to capture a moment of feeling like I grabbed the feeling but overall I did not have the same experience as most around me did.

I wish I could erase John Hughes movies from my memory.


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## JBlueboy

*The beginning of the cliques*

The first thing I noticed about high school was the girls(teenage girls) and I thought holy ****. Then reality sunk in I was the new kid in a big new high school. At this stage a lot of people already new where they fit in this intricate social web. I had no clue and being new with no friends, things only got worse for me from here on in. High school was very cliquey. A lot of kids were already experienced with networking and climbing the social ladders. I always fealt that i needed something extra like better clothes, a decent car, more money, or I would never fit in. I think I ends up keeping to myself because I couldn't compete, or would never fit in anyways.


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## DayDreamingGuy

Yes, missed out on a lot. Never really understood the social codes. This wasn't too bad during middle school and junior high as I enjoyed being alone, but grew to be a bigger problem during high school where I really felt totally different from the rest, and got bullied a lot. Looking back with what I know now, I should have reacted in some way...telling teachers, my parents more. But I really didn't have the big picture back then, and I naively thought it would pass, that people would grow more mature.


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## popeet

Don, I was like you. I didn't go to a private religious school (not since 3rd grade-- I asked to be taken out because God scared me) I was 14 and took a test to get out of school. I passed it, and said I just wasn't going. At 15 they couldn't make me go because I'd already pretty much graduated. So I went to an art (trade-type) college to learn some skills. Depression and having no defenses or boundaries or self-esteem took me down after that.


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## ToucanSam

VanGogh said:


> There were a few fleeting moments during high school that I was able to capture a moment of feeling like I grabbed the feeling but overall I did not have the same experience as most around me did.


me too. I was on the sidelines most of the time.


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## starburst76

my teen years were horrible until I was 15. Then I made a few friends that were also outcasts. For 3 years I at least had people to hang out with, get stoned and drunk with and just be "normal" teens. But on the other hand, I didn't have a single date with a guy until I was 18. That was awful. All my friends had boyfriends, and most of them were having sex. But absolutely no guys were interested in me. I never had that sweet teen romance where you have one week anniversaries. My "friends" also tended to just use me when no one else was around.


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## GetOutOfMyHouse

...


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## Jeffrey Bromfield

*Sadly ... yes*

Without going too far into it ... I was unable to get a date for my Junior Prom and first kissed a girl the night of my Senior Prom. Thank God I was able to get a last minute date or my life would be full of even more regret. I think I was a "late bloomer" and one month after graduating HS I was off to the military for six years. For those of you who do not know, in military combat arms units it is nothing but a big "weiner roast" since women are not allowed to serve in them.

I got out of the military to pursue my degree, but engineering and hard science courses are typically devoid of women as well.

Anyways, back on topic of high school. I grew up in a very rural area of WV and there weren't many girls around anyways due to geography and sparce population. I grew up riding 4 wheelers, hiking, playing army, fishing. I can honestly count 4, yes 4, total parties I was ever able to attend as a teenager. I didn't have a car until my final months of HS and had braces until my senior year. Wearing glasses didn't help either I guess.

I feel that I am still a decade behind "normal" people when it comes to relationships due to not having the typical girlfriend experience during my teenage and early 20s.

I truly do Idolize the experiences I missed out on (teenage dating, parties, hanging out with lots of friends, general irresponsibility).

If anyone would ever care to share or want to relate, I would be happy to talk. Some people are like, "get over it" but it is one regret of my life.

Thank you. Jeffrey


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## nullptr

No I don't, I was in the same situation as you for my entire life and I don't regret it, mainly because I know I would suffer if I chose to live a "normal" teenager life.


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## SunnySkies

Nope. I was much like the OP, but I have no regrets nor do I mourn my lost teenage years. I think my life happened the way it was supposed to and I'm happy with where I am now!


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## nadine

Yes, definitely. I dropped out of high school one week after starting the 10th grade at age 14 due to social anxiety, depression, etc. I spent much of my teenage years literally home alone sleeping. Kudos on overcoming your social anxiety. Why don't you go ahead and rent out a hall and throw a party with an 80s prom theme?


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## h00dz

Revenwyn said:


> Yes, I was homeschooled, was not allowed to date, dance, wear style that was popular in any time of the 20th century, had to cover my hair, could not go swimming, and had to wait for my family to arrange a marriage for me, which I rebelled against.
> 
> I also have never seen a TV show (still to this day) did not have internet, never saw movies, all my books were pre-read for me to make sure they were appropriate (and sometimes most of the book passed but even references to holding hands with a person were crossed out with white-out) did not have radio, and could only listen to classical music or hymns.
> 
> I also was not allowed to talk to someone of the opposite gender for more than a couple of minutes. If I did, I was whipped with the metal end of a belt.
> 
> I finally got out when I was 27. They had taken to locking me in my bedroom.


I just want to say that I'm really sorry and feel for your situation. That sounds like extremely hard way to grow up. I'm glad to hear you have got out of such a controlled and brutal environment.

For me, apart from the mass amount of bulling I received. life was pretty good as a teenager, I went to parties and had friends etc. The last 6 years though have been a completely different story, if I could redo my 20's.....


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## hypestyle

I certainly missed out on all of the typical dating/sex milestones common to most. first one-on-one date, First kiss, first girlfriend, first make-out, losing virginity, etc. My folks didn't have a car by time I was in high school, so it was a nonstarter to ask girls out-- plus my high school was a 'magnet' school where people attended from throughout the county (and beyond)-- so there was a better-than-average chance that any girl that I liked didn't live in my immediate area at all and I had no practical way of meeting her that didn't involve the horrible (unreliable) city bus system. I was just stuck. I never got invited to neighborhood parties and the like. Technically I got to go to "a" senior prom (but not of my own school's)-- the girl who asked me was on the outs with her boyfriend at the time-- a classmate of mine-- and it was just a platonic hang-out.


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## Valtron

I don't like parties and I saved $70 by not going to prom. So no, not at all. I didn't even go to a normal high school; I did most of my classes online. I had so much free time because of this, that I got involved in horseback riding. If I had gone to a normal high school, I would never have gotten involved with horses. So I'm happy I didn't go.


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## Janos

No, that crazy lifestyle nearly killed me. I don't regret it; I'm just surprised I survived it.


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## senrab

yep


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## riderless

I delayed my puberty. I didn't "cut loose" until age 30.
Too concerned with what I "should" be doing as a teenager. Religious and family culture. Too afraid of what conservative family members thought of me. I basically had myself in knots. And I didn't have a clue about the female gender. That's not to say I have those enigmatic creatures worked out yet either. Far from it.:yes


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## catman1974

Very much so. My upbringing was ultra-religious, and I was horrible socially all of my life, so the teenage years were terrible. No friends through most of school, let alone actually trying to get a date. I sat at home every night and watched sports and read, while everyone else did normal teen things.
I guess I made up for it in my 20s, though. Got my first apartment at 22 and pretty much spent the end of the 90s and first part of the 00s in bars and strip clubs. Got into pot pretty heavily for a couple years. Was completely out of control and made some stupid mistakes that I would have already made, on a much smaller scale, if I'd been able to cut loose a bit earlier.


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## primalrose

Yup. Never truly connected with anyone as a teenager. I went through the motions but always felt detached and withdrawn. Some kids I hung around invited me out to places but quickly gave up...I always felt miserable at social occasions and ignored. I very rarely felt happy or at ease, social anxiety and depression ruled all my days, so I lived in my own little world. I was disengaged in every class at highschool. Years 11 and 12 I skipped almost all my math and history classes. Lol, not sure how I even passed, I literally failed 2 of my final exams I guess they felt sorry for me. Never went to my graduation. 

I melted into the background so well and never caused teachers any trouble so I was basically overlooked and forgotten. One teacher started to become concerned with me but I quickly avoided her and they gave up. Explaining to my parents I was failing school due to emotional issues would mean I'd get punished and ridiculed by them, they'd think it was a joke and I was just lazy.


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## Joe

My Anxiety started when I joined high school aged 11, now I'm 18. In the past 7 years I don't think I've been out with friends more than 10 times, since I'm at an all boys school they've been all-male which makes me feel even more isolated to 50% of society.

I've been crying and feeling sick inside constantly because of this sadness and especially longing for my childhood years once more.


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## starguitar

I was so sheltered and awkward as a teenager, I wasn't even aware that kids were having parties, doing drugs, having sex and all that. I was just not part of that crowd. I did have my friends, and we were innocent and had innocent fun. We played cards every day during lunch and cracked corny jokes. I went to a few friends' sweet 16's, and a graduation party. I was a closeted/confused gay guy, so I didn't really date, though I had several girls interested into me. I had a best friend, and we did stupid stuff like video games and playing hoops, or driving around in his car. I actually am glad I stayed innocent then. It kept me out of trouble.


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## starguitar

BBQ_Chicken said:


> My Anxiety started when I joined high school aged 11, now I'm 18. In the past 7 years I don't think I've been out with friends more than 10 times, since I'm at an all boys school they've been all-male which makes me feel even more isolated to 50% of society.
> 
> I've been crying and feeling sick inside constantly because of this sadness and especially longing for my childhood years once more.


Dude, you are still so young. Your whole life is ahead of you. What I'd give to be 18 again. It's not too late to turn things around. Look forward and not backwards, I've been down that road. What's past is past, don't waste your time dwelling on it. Learn from your mistakes and move forward.


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## DottedLine

I didn't miss out on the 'teenage' things but in my case at least,it was nothing that I look back on with warm tenderness.
My formal was an awkward affair where I wore a totally inappropriate dress (short & black where everyone else's was princess-y & pastel)which led to a panic attack in the girls toilets,I discovered alcohol made me feel good & did all sorts of stupid things that I'd have vomited at the thought of sober. Had unenjoyable sex with [email protected] I didn't even like because it's what you did.
Then I went crazy at 15 tried to kill myself and became a recluse for a year.
Teen years are over-rated


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## harrison

DottedLine said:


> Teen years are over-rated


They definitely are. I think I had a lot more fun in my 30's and 40's - if only I could remember it properly. :roll


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## scarpia

Huh? I could get it up 7 times in an hour when I was a teenager. Might have even found a girl to get naked with if my SA hadn't been so bad. Yeah - I missed out on a lot.


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## austinfirst

Definitely missed out on most of my teen years. People often tell stories about high school memories, I have none worth noting other than my first g/f that, without knowing, really began helping me realize I can grow away from SA to some degree. 

I didn't really socialize like most people did. High School of 2500+ kids and I really only hung out with one person outside of school from middle school until 11th grade when I got my first girlfriend. At that point in time, I would hang out with her and her friends some but again, mostly just with her.


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## lithocardium

Yes I missed out and it really stings. It still feels like I haven't formed an identity yet and that I need to go through those phases to do it.


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## sunchild

michijo said:


> Nah, I was really rebellious and not at all sheltered by my parents. My parents took drugs and got divorced. It was all fairly wild, like breaking into buildings and vandalization. That may be one reason I really dont regret my teenage years, because through various events and decisions, I managed to really kick society in the ***. I am even a convicted felon from vandalizing a boyscout building. We broke into it and spraypainted the inside of it and trashed all the boyscout patches. It was federal property of the US government. We failed to realize that at the time. Its like vandalizing a police station. Lost my virginity to some promiscuous chick who had sex with multiple men at once. If I told everything I did then, your jaw would fall to the floor.
> 
> Strangely, this time period has no meaning for me. I dont see it as wasted at all. Whatever you do during teen years has no meaning in my opinion. You are too young for it to really even be considered lost time. The only thing to regret is not giving society a fight. I continue to fight society and feel good about it, marching against Monsanto, etc.


 Good view point.


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## Kiwong

I was bullied as a teenager, so yes I missed out, and that is where my anxiety developed.


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## hickorysmoked

Not as a teenager so much as a young adult. My last year in high school and beginning of JC is when I really started avoiding problems instead of dealing with them head on. If I would have had the self awareness I do now, I think I would have been in a much better place today. Hindsight is 20/20 as that cliche goes


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## blueidealist26

I'm not 30 but I do feel like I missed out on a fun high school experience. I did have fun in college, though, maybe more than some people.


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## In a Lonely Place

Absolutely, a gap started to open up when they all started getting bf/gfs, going to youth club/disco's/school trips and I just couldn't.
Really annoys me that a few girls approached me with a view to becoming their bf and I was mortified, not because I didn't want to but because I was so terribly shy so I told them to get lost in a mean way (As if I'd go out with you). That's when I realised my mind was working against me, self sabotaging became my way of life, turning down all invites and becoming isolated

I think that's when a lot of damage was done, I dropped out of school at 15 because I couldn't relate to people any more. I spent years shut in my bedroom listening to music, occasionally peering through the net curtains and seeing people I grew up with, heading out for the evening with friends.

So I missed all those important years where you learn how to interact with the opposite sex and develop decent social skills. This led to feelings of inadequacy, that I was retarded in comparison with guys my age who were out there working/living and spending time with friends and partners.

I never caught up with my peers, even when I had the relationship/job/house in my twenties I felt like a fraud, like I was playing at being a grown up. Couldn't relax or feel comfortable with my lot, when do you stop feeling like an alien and feel just like a regular person? :blank


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## andy0128

I didn't have many friends outside of school as i lived in a different town. I tended to be stuck on my home a lot moping around the house, outside of participating in a few sports. I wished i could've been involved more with the social side. Hanging out a friends houses, getting into music, just having fun basically. From 16 onwards i had more of a life, but it felt in many ways i had missed out on a lot and i had to make up for lost time, while other people were just chilled about everything.


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## broken glass

Summer always makes me depressed.

People my age or younger are out having fun and meeting people. I basically exist in my tiny corner of the world. 

Everyone around me grew up whilst I stayed the same. 

Before I finished high school I used to play outside with my frineds or go places with my parents. Once you get a bit older it all changes and that's when it started to go wrong for me. I never got a part time job, I never went out socialising, I never travelled, I didn't meet many new people. I became more shut off from the world. It's hard to know what went wrong. I either didn't push myself enough, or I was never taught how to.


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## SeraphSoul

My social anxiety was completely high as a teen, but I don't really think about things like, "oh I wish I've done that when I was younger."
I'm more worried about my future. ={


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## Cyberboy82

i missed out on being teenager and on being adult to...in fact i missed out of everything.


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## ViVidEyeS

Yes. My dad was strict and I wasn't really allowed to do any after school activities, so I didn't go to any football/basket ball games, dances including prom, homecoming, etc. Wasn't ever allowed to go to any parties or fun group activities, like the state fair or the mall, with my friends but I was allowed to work, which I did starting at the age of 13. I started dating someone when I was 16 who was a lot like my dad as far as being controlling. Got pregnant at 17, dropped out of high school and got married. I was grown before I was actually grown. I ended up having another child 3 yrs later, bought a house and a dog all by time I was 21. So yes, I feel like I missed out on a lot, not just being a teenager, but being a kid and a young adult.


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## goitalone

I definitely feel like I missed out on a lot about being a teenager. But at the same time, I did have good times, and group of friends. They just weren't always around. Friends get boyfriends, and when that happens, they're "missing" for 6 months until the new relationship gets boring, and they start seeing their friends again. So there was a lot of that. And I didn't get boyfriends like they did, so I was out of luck most of the time. 

I also had my first ever boyfriend in 11th grade till after graduation, and he was so jealous, he didn't like hanging out with other friends. He ONLY wanted us to hang out together, every day. So there'd be no other competition, I guess. No pressure or stress. Just us. No temptations. 
So I did that. Not that I had any friends, because I had just moved to another school district when I met him. But still...I used to see girls out with groups of friends, AND their boyfriends, and get jealous. Why can't WE hang out like that? Watching movies cuddled on the couch was really starting to get old, ya know? 

And in the times everyone was in new relationships, or hanging with other friends, which was a LOT.....I'd sit on my floor in my room, at age 19, watching the sun set over the hill, and listen to my little sister make plans on the phone, then get showered and made up. Then I'd hear a car pull into the driveway, and a group of girls and guys would get out, and they'd be all smiles and fun, and she'd squeeze in, and I'd hear the music fade away as they drove off for a night of fun. 
Then I'd pick up my pen and paper, and sit there on the floor, writing sad poetry or just writing out my lonely feelings and utter sadness, till I'd get tired of suffering, and go to bed to cry myself to sleep.
There were SOOOO many nights like that....nights of being a teenager, that I can never get back. Nights totally wasted. It drives me crazy when I think about it. So I'm not gonna. Lol. 

Not to mention the DAYS, too. Watching my sister get her summer dress on, a pretty purse, and cute shoes, and get into whatever car pulled in, to go swim at someone's house, or go hiking with everyone, or whatever.....as I sat there. By myself. All day and night. (I'd go for pitiful walks sometimes, just hoping SOMEONE would pass by me on the road and know me and say hi, and we'd hang out. But that never happened.)

So yeah. I feel like I missed out a lot on my teenage years. And in college, I thought I'd have lots of friends. I used to refer to "my college friends" before I started college, and by the time I was graduated (associates degree) I realized there were NO college friends. Not one single person. I talked to ONE person the entire time I was there. Some guy, who happened to have a Grateful Dead shirt on, and I did too. We talked one day for a minute or two, then I saw him again another day. Then I never saw him again. That was it. I could have had my voice box taken out, and no one would have ever known it. I'm not eggagerating. I'm totally serious. NO friends in college, whatsoever. (I commuted, and it was just community college, but still...I'd sit and watch all the groups of friends hanging out between classes. I'd watch friendships form before my eyes during classes. But never one person tried with me, except that two minute guy.)
So I totally missed out there, too. 

If I could do it all over again.....I would. In a second. But I know that it wouldn't be any different. Because I'm still the same. I just want to be young again. And have hopes and dreams for the future. Because now I'm too old for that. I realize that there's no time to dream anymore. It's raise the kids, then go in an old people home, then die, pretty much. Not like my husband and I are gonna travel the world and rock on our porch and have memories together, because he hates me, and he doesn't like to talk, anyway. 

Man, I hate my life.


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## DarrellLicht

The first 20 years of my life are gone forever. I'll never get them back. This adversely affects how I relate to most people.


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## Awkto Awktavious

Yeah. Listening to co-workers talk about their childhood the other day made me sad about how I missed out on so much of my life. I hate it.
I also hate watching TV and seeing so many people younger than me accomplishing so much and enjoying their lives.


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## AngelClare

goitalone said:


> I'd sit on my floor in my room, at age 19, watching the sun set over the hill, and listen to my little sister make plans on the phone, then get showered and made up. Then I'd hear a car pull into the driveway, and a group of girls and guys would get out, and they'd be all smiles and fun, and she'd squeeze in, and I'd hear the music fade away as they drove off for a night of fun.


What did your little sister do differently?


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## mesmerize

yeah and a child too


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## sanspants08

Yeah, I missed most of it the first time around. Then I dated a teenage girl in my 20s and got to almost literally "go back." Scariest experience of my life.


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## krites

Not really - I was forced into everything that's expected of a teenager when really I just wanted to be left alone. I grew up in a house where I - extremely introverted and agoraphobic, surrounded by a family of extroverts - frequently had to deal with going to crowded public places, enduring social interactions with family friends, and two very popular older sisters who went out often - sometimes dragging me along because "you never get out" and had all the cool people from school over at our house on a regular basis. I saw enough of what "teenage" is all about just by observing my sisters and it was more than I could stomach. 

And school itself was no better. Introverts were treated like they had some disease and extrovert-type activities were just expected of everyone - like attending the school year-end dance or performing in the revue or talent-evening. And you had to participate in at least one extra-curricular activity - the only options being choir, chess, debate and rugby for boys or netball for girls. I went with choir and chess and was naturally labelled a freak. 

During my later teenage years I ended up spending every private moment afforded me either locked in my room or in the school library. Hence I live completely alone and can do whatever the hell I want, when I want, and with no-one pointing at me telling me how weird I am. I wouldn't trade back those years if my life depended on it.


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## Lonelyinacrowd

Yes. I knew I was missing out and I wanted to make friends but couldn't manage it. My parents took me to a psychiatrist when I was 14 (I completely agreed). Unfortunately he thought I was just introverted and I'm still struggling.


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## Mysteriousvirgo

sanspants08 said:


> Yeah, I missed most of it the first time around. Then I dated a teenage girl in my 20s and got to almost literally "go back."


Yeah, I did this too...and unfortunately we did a little more than hold hands (though we didn't do _too _much more than that either, but enough to cross the line)...and needless to say I carry unfortunate legal baggage since she was less than 18. The law doesn't make exemptions for people who are emotionally stunted, who might be lacking the life experience of someone their age. To this day I feel really "behind" for my age and feel like I didn't really "live" my teenage years due to my social difficulties. I was always at home when I wasn't at school since I had no life. I was one of those wallflowers who usually ate alone at lunch because I only had like one friend.


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## Slaeth

Absolutely and I'm still a teenager. I really messed up ages 15 - now. I would give anything to start my life over from 8th grade. I am kind of excited and kind of bleh about the future though.


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## WillYouStopDave

No. My teen years weren't the best and they certainly weren't as full and memorable as they could have been but they weren't too bad. Better than now.


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## sanspants08

Mysteriousvirgo said:


> Yeah, I did this too...and unfortunately we did a little more than hold hands (though we didn't do _too _much more than that either, but enough to cross the line)...and needless to say I carry unfortunate legal baggage since she was less than 18. The law doesn't make exemptions for people who are emotionally stunted, who might be lacking the life experience of someone their age. To this day I feel really "behind" for my age and feel like I didn't really "live" my teenage years due to my social difficulties. I was always at home when I wasn't at school since I had no life. I was one of those wallflowers who usually ate alone at lunch because I only had like one friend.


Ouuuch . Mine was 17 when I met her and we were together until she was out of college. We got engaged, started to buy a house, and she disappeared :stu.

But having legals because of what went on...that would have been much worse. My school-age years sound pretty similar to yours. I did have some luck dating around after about 25 with women my age though. I imagine that if you could have waved a magic wand to make your teenage girlfriend older, you certainly would have! I know that for me, I just wanted to be loved, and to love someone else, and the fact that I had three months until she was legal really didn't phase me at the time.


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## Msbmosh

I'm 26 but I feel that way. I don't get many opportunities to go to parties and feel young and when I do, i still feel awkward and lonely and try to avoid them.


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## swisscheese

Yes and no. I would say I was a fairly normal teenager.

I was pretty much a loner in school but then my popularity got a bit better. Outside of school, I had a pretty tight crew that I would hang with nearly every week.

I was even a #2 contender in classroom elections at one point.

But I was very bitter due to being octracized earlier in life, and so the opportunities missed (especially when it comes to sex --- I had a couple of girls openly declare they liked me in high school , but due to me having an ordinate fear of intimacy I declined) were of my own doing. Still today, I feel bitter about it sometimes.

But if I take it _rationally_, not really. I guess if I had taken drugs or taken part in criminality, I would have been more popular. By nature, I am fairly "square" (read honest).

In adult life, though, they're hardly people I hang with. The booze ? the Drugs? the criminality? The delinquency? I don't think so.

Time heal wounds as they say, and I may be forgetting a few things.


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## beli mawr

Yep, I did. My parents wanted me to get a "good education" so I went to school a 2 hour commute away, so most of my time was on the train and doing homework - and not doing what a teenager would do (hanging out, dating, whatever).


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## straightarrows

+1..

if one day I lost my mind and became a father I'll be sure my son will never ever do school homeworks!!


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## straightarrows

beli mawr said:


> Yep, I did. My parents wanted me to get a "good education" so I went to school a 2 hour commute away, so most of my time was on the train and doing homework - and not doing what a teenager would do (hanging out, dating, whatever).


did u go to college? got a good job?

it wasn't my parents, it was me! ,,,,,,,, studying was a lot of fun for me! I was young and foolish! and I'm the only one who didn't go to college!


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## Gas Raid

Yeah, but that's in the past and being a teenager sucks dick. Being an adult is the best part of life, those 'magical' teenage moments might look great in a hallmark card, but it wouldn't mean anything. Screw all of that.

Same with being in your 20's and partying, getting laid & traveling the world. You have the rest of your life to do that if you really want to. IMO, life is about determination, being the person you want to be, etc. This crap about 'your teenage years are the best' is all just a big distraction from the bigger picture. You don't actually gain anything by traveling far away only to get drunk and have a few one night stands.

Sorry, that was a positive rant, though.


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## beli mawr

straightarrows said:


> did u go to college? got a good job?


Nope, couldn't get more than a year and a half in before I ran out of money and other funding. And there were closer schools that would have given me the same education, it was just the name of the school, as usual.

I'm not saying I didn't like studying, I did, I thought it was worth it. Looking back... well they say hindsight is 20/20.


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## inthewater

Yes, I did miss out. I had absolutely no life as a teenager. I went to my senior prom, but only because my mother practically forced me. I think she would have felt like a failure if her only daughter didn't go to the prom. Of course, I had no date. I went alone. I never had a boyfriend or a kiss or anything like that in high school. I had a few friends, but they were outcasts, too. Most of what I remember about my teenage years is very bad. Bullying, anxiety, being sick a lot. I hated everything. 

I'm not trying to relive my failed teenage years now, that's for sure. I regret not having more fun when I was a teenager, but I'm not at all interested in trying to squeeze it in now. I just wish I could have age-appropriate fun and life experiences.


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## honeyskyy

Yeah, a little bit. I mean I wish I had had more friends to hang out with and confide in (I feel like high school is a good time to make lifelong friends), but I don't really care that I didn't go to many dances or parties or other typical high school events (partly because I'm a loner and don't generally enjoy big social events and also, in view of all the experiences we have in life, those events seem pretty minor and unimportant to me). And I personally don't think I was ready for dating (plus there wasn't anyone I was interested in dating).
I have more of regret for my 20s, when I feel I could've explored more and accomplished more, but I try not to think about it too much. I'm not about to keel over now that I'm 30 and I still have a lot of years to grow and experience (or at least this is what I tell myself most of the time and in my better moods).
Anyways, it seems like high school's a hard time for a lot of people.


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## thepurplepill

I'm 25 and I was more happy in my late teens and early 20's. I was kind a lonely in high school. Now I'm 25 and realize I can't really check out young girls. And since my depression started around 22 I been think a lot about life.


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