# I'm attracted to a therapist



## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

a few years ago I saw her only 2 times for my dissociative disorder, I couldn't afford to see her every week, the most was once a month, I went there to ask her questions about my disorder, now there is a chance I might see her again for therapy if she accept my health insurance, the way she talked to me and her being already attractive made me more attracted to her, she is probably around 38-40 but she looks very good for that age, I'm not even attracted to older women but this is an exception, especially since she specializes in my disorder, lets say I see her after 10 sessions should I tell her I'm attracted to her or just keep it to myself? or should I compliment on her looks like the way she is dressed that day?


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Are you attracted to her for her beauty, or the fact that she is helping you out professionally (infatuation)?


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

millenniumman75 said:


> Are you attracted to her for her beauty, or the fact that she is helping you out professionally (infatuation)?


both


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

just called, looks like I won't be seeing her, it costs $150 per session and my insurance doesn't cover it, crazy


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

MobiusX said:


> both


I would keep it to myself. This can happen in the process of therapy. It's called, like "transference" or something like that.


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## max87 (Aug 7, 2010)

I have never thought that being attracted to your doctor/therapist or any one who provides you a service is wrong. You can start by complimenting her, because if you tell her that you are attracted to her, she might feel a bit uncomfortable and she might stop from treating you because she might believe that your attraction to her might pollute the sessions. Is she married? If so, you shouldn't mention it at all. Just compliment her and that's it, if she reacts in a possitive way and if you find out that she is single then i believe you can tell her what you feel.


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## Raphael200 (Aug 18, 2012)

Just talk about it,she would appreciate it : ).


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## jonny neurotic (Jan 20, 2011)

Deal with it. I see attracive people everywhere but I'm not going to walk up to them all and tell them. Think about it from her perspective. There are boundaries that she has to maintain or she could lose her job so even if the feelings are mutual it's going to be far better if it remains unmentioned. And of course if the feelings are not mutual, well, that's going to perhaps be even more uncomfortable for her. Just keep it to yourself or find a less attractive therapist...


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## samuraimunki (Jun 2, 2013)

MobiusX said:


> a few years ago I saw her only 2 times for my dissociative disorder, I couldn't afford to see her every week, the most was once a month, I went there to ask her questions about my disorder, now there is a chance I might see her again for therapy if she accept my health insurance, the way she talked to me and her being already attractive made me more attracted to her, she is probably around 38-40 but she looks very good for that age, I'm not even attracted to older women but this is an exception, especially since she specializes in my disorder, lets say I see her after 10 sessions should I tell her I'm attracted to her or just keep it to myself? or should I compliment on her looks like the way she is dressed that day?


Hey man,

It is quite common to feel an attraction for your therapist as you are perceiving someone who is compassionate to you and trying to understand and help you. Unfortunately this can't go anywhere though because of the therapist/patient situation. You should just keep it to yourself. If you start complimenting her on her looks etc she may feel it not appropriate to keep treating you and refer you to someone else. It would be against her professional code of conduct to persue anything with you and she would run the risk of getting struck off so it is best to leave it completely. If you really want to tell her then maybe tell her at the end of all your therapy sessions with her when you would not be seeing her anymore anyway. In this case from a professional standpoint, here in the UK a practitioner has to wait 2 years after they have finished the treatment with the patient before they are allowed to engage on a personal or friendship level. I would imagine it would be something similar in the US. Sorry to put a downer on it mate but I think you should just let it go


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## Theillusiveman (Mar 18, 2013)

I've been here. If you tell her, she might drop you. they're creeped out by these things.


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## Skeithz (Jun 2, 2013)

this thing happen quite common for patient though it doesn't end up good


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## Mugen Souls (Jun 3, 2013)

"should I tell her I'm attracted to her or just keep it to myself? or should I compliment on her looks like the way she is dressed that day?"

You have to be a real charmer to get away with that. I wouldn't even try it.


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