# If I dropped dead right now, no one would notice for months



## dkriot (Dec 12, 2011)

I came to the realization that if I died here and now no one would notice or care. Someone would eventually find my lifeless decayed corpse months from now. I just don't see what the point of doing anything is anymore. There is nothing I do that makes even a slight impression on others. It would be better if I just disappeared entirely.


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## wootmehver (Oct 18, 2007)

I feel this way sometimes. I want a social network of kind and caring and nonjudgmental people who would drop everything to rescue me from dangers real and imagined. Feeling valued by others is critical. I want to be on people's mental list of people they are genuinely concerned about, even if I won't see them much in a social setting. The lesser the number of people who are concerned for me and feel emotionally invested in me, the more worthless I feel. I had a good friend who stopped e-mailing and texting me last year and it made me feel pretty down and devalued, especially knowing that this friend is maintaining contact with "normal" people.


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## LindZISOPRAH (Oct 12, 2011)

Check out the movie "its a wonderful life". You have impacted more people then you have imagined. You just don't give yourselves enough credit. Don't worry about dying, if you did die and nobody would care or notice what difference would it make? You'd be dead. You wouldn't be around to care or notice if anyone cared or noticed


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## vardhan (Dec 24, 2011)

*There is hope*

We always look *if ANYONE CARES* about us. *Have we done anything to make someone happy just for a little while*?

I was such a *self-centered man*..always thought about myself. *Now i understand...no one wants such a person*.

Are you like i was? *Go out and help someone in real need* and don't expect back anything. This might *get you started* seeing life from a different perspective(point of view).

It gets simpler once you understand about life. I went through it and came out stronger, more loving than before. I still sometimes get angry, anxious but am happy with my life.


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## kittyblu (Oct 26, 2010)

that happened to a friend of mine last month. everyone just found out yesterday


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## LindZISOPRAH (Oct 12, 2011)

kittyblu:1059553987 said:


> that happened to a friend of mine last month. everyone just found out yesterday


.

Very sorry to hear that kittyblu .


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## chair (Jul 5, 2009)

vardhan said:


> *Go out and help someone in real need* and don't expect back anything. This might *get you started* seeing life from a different perspective(point of view).


That seems kind of like a catch-22. If I went out to help someone in need and didn't expect anything back, it would only be for my own emotional or intellectual fulfillment. Hmm...


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## Marakunda (Jun 7, 2011)

Dying alone doesn't sound bad at all to me...
If anything it's ideal for me.

Is that weird?


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## Secretly Pretentious (Dec 18, 2011)

Skylaishot said:


> Dying alone doesn't sound bad at all to me...
> If anything it's ideal for me.
> 
> Is that weird?


Nope, it makes sense to me. Whenever I'm feeling a little suicidal, I secretly wish that I was completely isolated and that nobody cared. That way I could go guilt free and without hurting anyone. Plus it greatly reduces the risk of being saved. During my worst episode, I was really nasty to my parents and refused to come out of my room, even to eat dinner with them. I couldn't understand why I was so horrible to them when they were nothing short of wonderful to me. It didn't occur to me until years later that I was probably distancing myself from them so that they'd feel less attached to me. I was unconsciously prepared them for my potential suicide. It's so scary now that I think about it.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

The downside of being isolated, yes...

If it weren't for my parents, I could drop dead today and probably go..... a while......... without being discovered.

For some reason though, I don't really care about this.

On the other hand, what happens if you injure myself to the point where you can't move and there's no one who would take notice? Thirst/starvation? That would be a bad few days unless you could muster up enough noise to get a neighbour's attention.



wootmehver said:


> I want a social network of kind and caring and nonjudgmental people who would drop everything to rescue me from dangers real and imagined.


I think most people would be surprised at how many people in their lives would be willing to "drop everything" if an urgent situation came up and they reached out for help.


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## Jamipat (Dec 2, 2011)

wootmehver said:


> I feel this way sometimes. I want a social network of kind and caring and nonjudgmental people who would drop everything to rescue me from dangers real and imagined. Feeling valued by others is critical. I want to be on people's mental list of people they are genuinely concerned about, even if I won't see them much in a social setting. The lesser the number of people who are concerned for me and feel emotionally invested in me, the more worthless I feel. I had a good friend who stopped e-mailing and texting me last year and it made me feel pretty down and devalued, especially knowing that this friend is maintaining contact with "normal" people.


Go to a local church. The majority of the people there are extremely kind, caring and non-judgemental.


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## Syndacus (Aug 9, 2011)

Jamipat said:


> Go to a local church. The majority of the people there are extremely kind, caring and non-judgemental.


Name a church in Fort Worth area and I'll go to one...if you're wrong and they prove to be the opposite, I'll kick you in the balls so you won't procreate...cool?

On topic now: I prolly won't be discovered until its the end of the month when the rent is due...lol


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## Jamipat (Dec 2, 2011)

Syndacus said:


> Name a church in Fort Worth area and I'll go to one...if you're wrong and they prove to be the opposite, I'll kick you in the balls so you won't procreate...cool?


I don't live in Fort Worth, TX. I don't even live in America. I live in UK.

http://www.churches-in.com/TX/Fort+Worth/

This link shows you all the churches in your area. My best advice is to go to a church with few people in it as they will be a lot more welcoming and caring seeing as you're new and they will want to talk to you.



> Sorry for the double post - but I just saw this post -- and not anything against churches -- but I have never met people at church the way you have described them - it seemed like they were less caring than non-church going people.
> Nothing like you have described. I'm just wondering why.


In what ways were they less caring? Are there lots of people in the church you attend?


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## Mracless (Aug 15, 2011)

I feel much the same way, dkriot.
I still live with my mother, so my corpse would be noticed within a few days, probably. But other than family, who'd feel it's necessary to feel sad just because I'm family, nobody would be impacted negatively by my death and cry about it.

Having no one to live for but myself makes it harder for me to find motivation to do anything in life.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

My family would notice since I live with them. But if I lived alone, I'm sure no one would.


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## wootmehver (Oct 18, 2007)

Church is a recommendation that mental health professionals make for their clients and I can see the value in it for some, and the fact that most churches are basically just glorified social clubs where people give lip service to their creed, but it's not for me at this time...I'm just not much of a "joiner." I prefer a diverse support group of intelligent and compassionate and practical people who can be anywhere on the spectrum of belief or non-belief and who would be concerned for me and advise me on various subjects...therapeutic people who love to befriend others without trying to convert them to some belief system. I don't care for "true believers" though, people who are fanatic and give up their identity to some flaky belief system and want to spread their mind viruses to others.

I just need to feel that warm fuzzy "gravitational pull" of good people upon me, where they draw me easily and effortlessly into being more engaged with the world.


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## dkriot (Dec 12, 2011)

Mracless said:


> I feel much the same way, dkriot.
> I still live with my mother, so my corpse would be noticed within a few days, probably. But other than family, who'd feel it's necessary to feel sad just because I'm family, nobody would be impacted negatively by my death and cry about it.
> 
> Having no one to live for but myself makes it harder for me to find motivation to do anything in life.


My family hates me. I think they would be surprised that I died but I am sure they would forget after a few weeks. Some people like me are that forgettable and won't be missed.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I don't feel the same way.

I, however, feel like practically nobody would attend my funeral.


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## rugford (Aug 30, 2013)

The only person who would care would be my husband. He would grieve, and go live with his parents for a short while to recover. My family abandoned me and I have only a few friends that aren't very close to me. I doubt there would even be a funeral. 

I've seen and very much appreciate "It's a Wonderful Life," but I am not a parent. I am young and haven't been able to have a full-time job that joins me with my community. I've graduated from college, which gave me the knowledge that everyone surrounding me has support and care, two things I've never seen before. I didn't even go to my graduation ceremony, because no one cared enough to come. I was raised in a church setting, but ultimately left because I was ostracized for wanting to pursue my education as a woman, and realized that religion and god were simply norms for people to enact social fantasies. 

If life is so important, if people are so naturally caring and accepting, then why am I an anomaly? Why should I bother to keep on putting myself out there, only to be ignored or mocked?


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## coyote eyes (Jul 3, 2013)

*If you want people to notice when you go, do what I did. Have 4 kids, who still are always asking for money, and 10 grandkids who are like needing surging money worms, and if I was gone you bet they would notice a nice quiet guy who had trouble saying no... Get some bills dude and you will be remembered. Actually what I said is true but I've often thought that because of a lifetime of isolating myself I don't think many will be crying at my demise. AS for you, please write me a friend request, I don't have many and Ill keep you remembered. Promise*


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

I'm the same OP.

I have thought numerous times, what if I went tomorrow.... who would care at all? My mother and grandmother would and this girl that i'm pretty much in a relationship with but nobody else.

People on facebook don't talk to me so they would never find out, they wouldnt even notice if I hadnt logged in or updated a status in years. 

The way my life is going, my mother and grandmother could die before me, and if i'm single I will be that corpse thats spent a year decaying until anyone notices


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## Xixax (Aug 29, 2013)

dkriot said:


> I came to the realization that if I died here and now no one would notice or care. Someone would eventually find my lifeless decayed corpse months from now.


Me too, I've gone so far as considering the way I can leave a corpse that's easier to clean up when they finally do find me, and won't make the apartment I live in hard to sell or live in again (stains and whatnot).

:dead


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## ticktockLA (Aug 29, 2013)

I had this same thought on a recent day and got sad. I have days where my phone does not get even one call or text. Not even a wrong number or anything. Sometimes I run to the store late and I think if something happened no one would even know where I was going, why or anything because I don't have anyone to tell. I have even thought of leaving a note inside my apartment like 'running to store' or something in case something happened, guess someone would find my note sometime.


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