# I don't want to ever see a therapist again. Can someone talk me down?



## Anti depressant (Jan 29, 2011)

I have a fear of therapists. Why? My Mom and my Dad have had me see many therapists and many psychologists and they have tried to get me diagnosed for medical disorders in the past. None of them have been accurate. 

I believe that in the past I've had cyclochemedia (sp)-- a form of bipolar disorder which involved rapid mood fluctuations. I also believe I've had boarderline personality disorder because I had either highs of very low self esteem, or, I was completely arrogant and thought too highly of myself. My parents thought that I had asbergers, or autism, and they still do. 

That being said, I have a really hard time talking about my problems with my mood fluctuations to anyone-- even a therapist. I really only have one really great friend of mine that knows what I've been through and she's able to understand me. But, I feel like I would never be able to talk about these things to a therapist if I were to see a therapist again. 

My last experience with a therapist was fun. I really liked it. He helped me out with some things, but, I could never bring myself to talking about my issues. We would always end up talking about politics, or, something tangential that we both liked talking about and I felt like at some point in time I was wasting my family's money and I didn't want to do it. 

I've gotten to the point where I feel like my mood has mostly stabilized now for the most part, but, I still have some issues some of the time. Would it ever be possible based on my history (if the therapist or psychologist has access to my medical records) to have an honest discussion about my issues? I don't think anyone out there who I have spoken to really understands what I'm going through. 

I've only encountered one therapist and that was a school therapist in high school that I am still in touch with that actually understands what I've been going through my entire life the past few years. I've been burned by some people really badly and its really hurt me in the past and, the grieving process has sometimes halted my personal and social growth. 

I've had some other issues, but, if I were to talk about my problems, I feel that therapists wouldn't be able to see me for who I am because what I would be describing-- how I get along well with certain people, and not with others wouldn't match the idea of me being a person with very poor social skills, or, w.e. I just think that a therapist would be at an utter loss to understand my problems, or, just my relationships with my friends in general.


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## AkwardNisa (Feb 7, 2010)

Yea, I really don't like the rapist either.


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## redtogo72 (Jun 7, 2008)

Assuming you have insurance or can easily afford it I'd say go for it. At least in my case, I've found my therapists rarely brings up my disorders or official diagnosis. It's more about talking about what's bothering me, how I'm doing, and problem solving. You might need to see a few different therapists in order to find one that you like.

I think it will take some time before you can trust your doctor with certain topics. That's common and normal for most people who start therapy.


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## Anti depressant (Jan 29, 2011)

Would it be possible for me to see a therapist and get them to change my diagnosis from asbergers/autisim/whatever it is to something else? I know that the process to get a new diagnosis is really tough... but I think the therapist that I used to see knows me well enough and if I were to talk to him I would tell him about the issues that I've faced. And, how I've overcome them. My goal is eventually to become successfully employed and get a career somewhere and no longer need the disabled label... but, in the meantime, I would at least like the diagnosis to be correct.


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## velocicaur (Aug 8, 2009)

It sounds like your parents are really trying to look after you which is a good thing.

I see a lot of therapist and psychologist in your post, but have you seen a psychiatrist? If you haven't, I really would recommend seeing one.

I think the one thing I grab from your post is that you want to *change* your diagnosis. I don't quite understand why. Sure, if they are inaccurate, you want the correct answer. However, if you have seen a couple well trained therapists and they have come up with the same conclusion, perhaps they are correct? 

This is extremely interesting because my local newspaper is doing a series of articles on mental illness. It talked about letting your disease define you, and it seems to me that you have let this enter your mind. It's not: "I am bipolar." In the article they made the connection with cancer. No one says, "I am cancer." Cancer doesn't define the person. They have and are living with cancer, but it does not define them. It's "My name is _______ and I have bipolar/autism/anxiety/depression/etc." Either way, if it's social anxiety, bi polar, borderline, autism, or anything - you'll probably need therapy and medication to cope and build up from there. Don't let a label stop you.


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## Anti depressant (Jan 29, 2011)

velocicaur said:


> It sounds like your parents are really trying to look after you which is a good thing.
> 
> I see a lot of therapist and psychologist in your post, but have you seen a psychiatrist? If you haven't, I really would recommend seeing one.


Don't even talk to me about psychiatrists. I used to see psychiatrists all the time and they never were helpful to me. They never asked me about my problems and they would always just prescribe me some medication that would make me feel dumber than I really am.



> I think the one thing I grab from your post is that you want to *change* your diagnosis. I don't quite understand why. Sure, if they are inaccurate, you want the correct answer. However, if you have seen a couple well trained therapists and they have come up with the same conclusion, perhaps they are correct?


Trained therapists and psychologists are usually given instruction booklets by big pharma medical agencies to diagnose you with the most popular disease of the day. In the 90s it was ADHD and in the 200s it's autism/asbergers. I was diagnosed with both of them, and, they made up a lot of **** about me in the reports that didn't even TOUCH THE SURFACE of the real problems that I faced.



> This is extremely interesting because my local newspaper is doing a series of articles on mental illness. It talked about letting your disease define you, and it seems to me that you have let this enter your mind. It's not: "I am bipolar." In the article they made the connection with cancer. No one says, "I am cancer." Cancer doesn't define the person. They have and are living with cancer, but it does not define them. It's "My name is _______ and I have bipolar/autism/anxiety/depression/etc." Either way, if it's social anxiety, bi polar, borderline, autism, or anything - you'll probably need therapy and medication to cope and build up from there. Don't let a label stop you.


Medication is a no-no, and, like I said, I've been misdiagnosed. I don't have any major problems with interacting with other people. Everyone has some social issues of their own... but, people just look at me and they think, oh, this person must not be able to read social cues right... I do read them. My problem was more internally than externally. I don't think you're really helping me out here.


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## Anti depressant (Jan 29, 2011)

redtogo72 said:


> Assuming you have insurance or can easily afford it I'd say go for it. At least in my case, I've found my therapists rarely brings up my disorders or official diagnosis. It's more about talking about what's bothering me, how I'm doing, and problem solving. You might need to see a few different therapists in order to find one that you like.
> 
> I think it will take some time before you can trust your doctor with certain topics. That's common and normal for most people who start therapy.


I've been thinking about this a lot and I'll take your advice. My only question is something that I've had problems with when I've talked to therapists in the past: how much should I talk to a therapist about my problems, and not have them think I am absolutely crazy? One thing I've realized about myself is I like thinking and talking about my problems, but, I want to talk about other things other than my problems too. I just need a balance... I can do it too much one way or the other.


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## notcandace (Jul 31, 2011)

I wouldn't worry too much about your "official" diagnosis. I don't know if therapists even have access to your records from another therapy session unless you willingly give it to them. I would recommend trying to find a good therapist and letting them know that you've had some issues with therapy in the past. You also need to be comfortable talking about your problems...that's kind of the point of therapy. If you don't let them know what's wrong, they can't help you.


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