# Feeling homesick and lonely



## VisualAttraction (Jun 12, 2012)

Hey guys,

I just started college a few days ago and I'm living in a dorm with a roommate. She's a chill person and we get along, but for the most part, the rest of my floor is very extroverted. She's starting to become closer with the rest of the floor and I feel left out and annoying whenever I sit beside her because I'm always quiet around other people. She's mostly friends with the guys on my floor, but I'm sooo awkward around guys it's really embarrassing to even speak up. There are some other people that I've met that I seem to get along with, but it's a casual "Hey, what's up" type thing. For the most part, they've also banded together, or hang out with friends from other floors. I just feel so overwhelmed with everything and pathetic about how I promised myself I'd change, but so far I'm not that much different from before. I miss my family so much and I regret moving out but I have to stay until the rest of the year. My classes start in a few days, any advice on how to stop feeling like crap all the time and actually interact with people? (also: I'm okay one-on-one, but I'm afraid of approaching people individually and in groups unless I'm certain that they won't reject me or give me a dirty look). I get very depressed when I'm alone in my room while everyone is outside having fun, since it's Frosh Week. Sorry if this is severely incoherent I'm typing really fast and my mind won't stop spinning.


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## Cileroot (Mar 6, 2012)

I got no advice... but I can relate.

I went to uni too and I live in a dorm. (Luckily I have my own room!) However I have no contact with the people on my floor or house. There are few people living on the same floor with me who are in my faculty and they always seem to interact.

Even when I go to lectures and other stuff and people are waiting then most of them already chatter about different things, feeling relaxed and cool. Although I'm good at pretending I don't care that I'm not in their group, feeling left out or something, it's acctually difficult to endure. I've initiated few conversations but I suppose I was not good enough because people do not start initiating conversations with me so now I'm already starting to not care of it. There are several parties coming which I'm not going to attend (but one), because I hate parties.

However I'm not feeling homesick. Now I do not have parents around, I can do whatever I want without being afraid I need to explain what I do or get some comments about the way I do things. So far having a more independent lifestyle has really improved my ability to cope with not having any friends around.


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## kittenamos (Jun 23, 2011)

For me, it was all about getting used to the campus, the people, the teachers, etc . . . 

I felt the same way last year (my first year at college). This year I am feeling a lot more comfortable here. I recognize faces from last year and have even started conversations myself with them. 

Just make sure you try to get out of the room as much as possible, try to meet new people whenever you can, and leave your door open when you are there. All of this helped me last year. 

Good luck and try to have fun!!!


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## Charmander (Sep 5, 2012)

How about trying to get to know each person one by one?  And it doesn't have to be every person on the floor, just maybe the ones who are slightly more approachable than the other ones? And it's better to do this straight away while everyone is still getting to know each other because I know from experience that it's almost impossible for people to change their opinions of you as a quiet awkward person after you've known them for a long time. But if I was in your situation I'd probably be just as bad; I'm absolutely awful at small talk, although I probably get on better with guys than girls. Luckily I'm living at home while I go to college.


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## Cubby (Mar 20, 2012)

VisualAttraction said:


> Hey guys,
> 
> I just started college a few days ago and I'm living in a dorm with a roommate. She's a chill person and we get along, but for the most part, the rest of my floor is very extroverted. She's starting to become closer with the rest of the floor and I feel left out and annoying whenever I sit beside her because I'm always quiet around other people. She's mostly friends with the guys on my floor, but I'm sooo awkward around guys it's really embarrassing to even speak up. There are some other people that I've met that I seem to get along with, but it's a casual "Hey, what's up" type thing. For the most part, they've also banded together, or hang out with friends from other floors. I just feel so overwhelmed with everything and pathetic about how I promised myself I'd change, but so far I'm not that much different from before. I miss my family so much and I regret moving out but I have to stay until the rest of the year. My classes start in a few days, any advice on how to stop feeling like crap all the time and actually interact with people? (also: I'm okay one-on-one, but I'm afraid of approaching people individually and in groups unless I'm certain that they won't reject me or give me a dirty look). I get very depressed when I'm alone in my room while everyone is outside having fun, since it's Frosh Week. Sorry if this is severely incoherent I'm typing really fast and my mind won't stop spinning.


You pretty much described me with your post, except for the part about being a girl. I felt homesick only for the first week, but now it's taking on a darker feeling of loneliness. It's not so much that I miss my family as much as I wish I had a close-knit group of people I could talk and interact with comfortably on a regular basis. Plus, it doesn't help that I'm switching my major and dropping several credits three weeks into the semester. I'm finding it more difficult to focus on my coursework. Often when I open up a textbook, it's not long before I'm overwhelmed by the more pressing matter at hand and shut the book, compounding my sadness and disappointment.

I can't picture myself being here for an entire school year. I wish there was a way I could just go home and take my courses online, since none of them necessitate face-to-face interaction. There has to be a way to get out of here. Any ideas?


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## cafune (Jan 11, 2011)

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