# Is this girl giving signals? Help please.



## RacerX (Jun 12, 2006)

This is a bit of a long winded story, but please bear with me because I think this girl I've met is giving some pretty strong signals, and I'd really like some clarification

Ok so about a few weeks ago, I was out at a nightclub and I had to use the bathroom. Unfortunately when I was washing my hands though, I put my arm down to the side and it rested on the top of a broken bottle, slicing a little chunk out of my forearm. It was bleeding like crazy. I rushed back out to my friend and asked if he could help me, and he was standing there talking to a girl. The girl identified herself as a nurse, then grabbed my arm and rushed me behind the bar where they had a first aid kit. She was going on about me being 'her guy'(whatever the hell that means) to my friend.After she cleaned me up she said 'all that and I don't even get a kiss on the cheek?'. I was sort of surprised by that and said 'oh uh, um...ok' then kissed her cheek. My friend said to me 'you probably couldve f*cked her you know'

I saw her the next week and she instantly put her cheek out for me to kiss it, then whenever I bumped into her later on we would chat, and she put her arm around my shoulder and slapped my butt when I walked away. I also told her about my sore leg, and she got down on her knees and started rubbing it with both hands. Another friend of mine wlaked up and goes 'hey she wants to **** you'.

The following week I saw her again, and it was the same stuff when I saw her, except this time I told her about security guards being rude to me, and in response to this she put out her hand for me to hold, then said to me 'next time that happens we'll go make out on the dancefloor'.

Are these definite signals? I'm still a bit uncertain over whether i should try anything and risk looking stupid. And if they are, what do i do about it?


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## Zen Mechanics (Aug 3, 2007)

*Re: What is this girl I met doing?*

she's massaged you, slapped your butt and mentioned making out with you? nope she's def not interested, sorry dude


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## Kelly82 (Nov 11, 2003)

*Re: What is this girl I met doing?*

Sounds to me like she might sense you're shy or nervous, but likes you a lot so she's sending you signals that are easy to read. I think if you like her you'd be safe making a move if you wanted to. Sounds like she's really into you. :yes


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## markx (Dec 22, 2007)

I'm no expert on these matters but it sounds to me like you're in there.  Ask her out on a date... "Hey, would you like to go out with me?" or maybe even "Do you want to come back to my place and play doctors and nurses?".


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## RacerX (Jun 12, 2006)

*Re: What is this girl I met doing?*

So umm.....what do I do. I really have no idea what to do. I need like, a laundry list explaining exactly what to do and say.

Another problem is shes freaking hot. I see guys hitting on her all the time at this club and she just shrugs them off.


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## markx (Dec 22, 2007)

Well, I'm a compulsive planner and I'm fighting that urge these days so (if I had the b***s) I'd just ask her if she wanted to go out sometime and take it from there. If she says yes, suggest a day and a time. If she says no, well... find another broken bottle...


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## SADFighter (May 4, 2007)

What???? Those signs are obvious. If she's hot and practically throwing herself onto you, just take her back to your place and do your thing. Don't ask her out though. From what you've written, it sounds more like she wants a hook up (at least first) more than anything else. Asking her out formally might make her run away. Plus, she sounds quite wild. :banana


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## SADFighter (May 4, 2007)

*Re: What is this girl I met doing?*



RacerX said:


> Another problem is shes freaking hot. I see guys hitting on her all the time at this club and she just shrugs them off.


Don't question it. She wants you.

Sounds like what happened in Back to the Future. There's an acutal name for it when a girl nurses a man back to health and then becomes infatuated with him.

In a way, cutting yourself was a godsend. :b


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## ericj (Jun 20, 2007)

**** alert! I'd run away.

Maybe not, sometimes I'm a masochist and usually quite lonely.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

Damn dude, I don't think she can make it more obvious that she wants you, lol. I wouldn't expect much more from her except a sexual relationship, but who knows, it may be different. Next time you see her buy her a drink and say I never really thanked you for saving me. Go from there with the conversation. Be physical with her like touching her arm, hand, or neck gently, or say something soft in her ear for example. Those things will let her know that you're interested in her. Ask her to dance as well. At the end of the night offer to drive her home and go from there.


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## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

SADFighter said:


> What???? Those signs are obvious. If she's hot and practically throwing herself onto you, just take her back to your place and do your thing. Don't ask her out though. From what you've written, it sounds more like she wants a hook up (at least first) more than anything else. Asking her out formally might make her run away. Plus, she sounds quite wild. :banana


What would you suggest for those of us who have no desire to "take her back and do our thing"? Some people don't want to be promiscuous and feel that sex is meant for relationships.


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## RacerX (Jun 12, 2006)

shyvr6 said:


> Damn dude, I don't think she can make it more obvious that she wants you, lol. I wouldn't expect much more from her except a sexual relationship, but who knows, it may be different. Next time you see her buy her a drink and say I never really thanked you for saving me. Go from there with the conversation. Be physical with her like touching her arm, hand, or neck gently, or say something soft in her ear for example. Those things will let her know that you're interested in her. Ask her to dance as well. At the end of the night offer to drive her home and go from there.


That all sounds pretty straightforward except the dancing. I never got the whole 'want to go dance' thing. Are you just supposed to dance for awhile and then start making out? If both people know whats up why even bother with the dancing?

I live with a friend of mine at our place which is in walking distance from the nightclub, so would I just ask to dance, do some lame dancing for a little while, start kissing, then ask if she wants to crash at mine?

After that do we just walk in the door and rip each others clothes off? Or just do more kssing on the lounge then progress from there to fondling, then take it to the bedroom?


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

I'm just saying buy her some drinks, go talk on whatever the club has like couches or at a table and get to know her a little better. During that time do the touching thing when appropriate and if the two of you are hitting it off you'll know when to kiss her or she'll come in and kiss you. You don't have to dance if you don't want to, but it's a club so dance to have some fun with her while you're there. For your other question, it depends how the night goes. If it seems like it's going well, then ask her if she wants to crash at your place or if she wants to go to hers, then get a ride with her. I take it you're not very experienced so just let her take control of how things will go once you get to yours or her place. Maybe she'll want to talk for awhile or maybe she'll want to go at it right away. Just go with the flow. If you end up going early, don't be embarrased and just say you're ready for round two. :lol


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## markx (Dec 22, 2007)

By the sound of things she knows what she wants and she's just waiting for the signal from you before she proceeds with her own plan. Once you've started things in motion you'll probably have little or no say in what happens and when... just hold on tight, it's gonna get bumpy!


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## RacerX (Jun 12, 2006)

I bumped into her outside the nightclub after closing(didnt see her prior to this), and she was with three friends and they were all steaming, falling over drunk. She saw me and ran up and hugged me ridiculousy tight(bearhug style), and running her hands all up and down my chest and midsection. I remembered what someone posted and told her I never paid her back for fixing me, and asked if there was anyting i could do. She had her face about an inch from mine and said 'oh, theres many things you can do' (probably a big signal?)

She also had her arm around my shoulder and said to her friend' I've been trying to get this guy to come home with me for like four weeks! All these other guys are having a crack at me and hes doing nothing! Then the guy friend said to me ' Dude, are you gay?' Then they gave me a lift home, and she had her hand on my leg the entire time.


I think my problem is I just really have no idea how to make a move, and the thought of it makes me think of all the ways it could go wrong and potentially being humiliated/embarrassed.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

RacerX said:


> She had her face about an inch from mine and said 'oh, theres many things you can do' (probably a big signal?)


Probably?? Dude, the only other thing she can do is rip her clothes off in front of you. At this point I don't think there is anything you can do that will embarrass yourself. She's obviously just waiting for you to make a move. Next time you see her just say some innuendos to her and go in for a kiss and she'll do the rest. Then ask her if she wants to go to your place. It seems she's one of those party girls who isn't looking for a relationship just something physical so don't expect much more after that. Just go for it pretty much. She's been waiting for you to do that. Now that I think about it I think she might be too much woman for you. Just let her know when you guys are getting into it that you aren't that experienced. That way she doesn't expect some porn star, and she'll know how to handle the situation, do you understand what I mean?


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## SADFighter (May 4, 2007)

Ditto to the above except don't say you're inexperienced. Just ask her to initiate things if you don't know what to do. Right now your anxiety is being interpreted as playing hard to get. But the window's closing...


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## RacerX (Jun 12, 2006)

Yeah the closing window thing has me a bit concernced.

Also did the dude think I was gay because he may have thoguht it absurd that I haven't done anything?


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## SADFighter (May 4, 2007)

Just to add, a lot of people here have given you advice and for some reason you don't believe in yourself. Rather than asking "is this girl giving signals" and then telling us that this girl is practically throwing herself at you, you should be asking "why don't I believe that a girl could be into me?" because this one obviously is. 

I hope I didn't come across as harsh. I've delt with many of the same things in my life so I can defintely relate. 

Good luck!


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

RacerX said:


> Also did the dude think I was gay because he may have thoguht it absurd that I haven't done anything?


Don't worry about him. He's probably just not used to seeing guys like us. Yeah, like SAD said, just ask her to initiate things if you're feeling uncomfortable. But you have to make the first move. Don't worry about being embarrassed, just do it without thinking about it. Trust me, she doesn't care what you do just as long as you're implying you want to hook up with her. I can almost guarantee that you could just walk up to her out of the blue and say, let's go to my place, and she'll go. That's how confident I am that she wants you. Go to the club tonight or tomorrow and see if she's there. Good Luck!


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## RacerX (Jun 12, 2006)

SADFighter said:


> Just to add, a lot of people here have given you advice and for some reason you don't believe in yourself. Rather than asking "is this girl giving signals" and then telling us that this girl is practically throwing herself at you, you should be asking "why don't I believe that a girl could be into me?" because this one obviously is.
> 
> I hope I didn't come across as harsh. I've delt with many of the same things in my life so I can defintely relate.
> 
> Good luck!


Not harsh at all, you hit the nail right on the head. Due to my experiences(or rather, lack of) I have it engrained in my head that women don't enjoy sex/relationships, obtaining it is impossible and women are repulsed and offended at the thought of guys trying to initiate anything with them. Probably not the best mindset but its the one I'm entrenched in.

I have the same reaction to someone telling me a girl is into me, as i would if someone said ' Hey dude theres an alien right behind you'. It's so far into the realm of science fiction for me.

Also to give you another analogy, making a move would feel exactly like that scene in Indiana Jones where he needs to walk across that causeway he can't see and doesn't know is there. Stepping forward with nothing beneath you and 99% sure you are going to fall to your doom. Taking that 'leap of faith'....it's something incredibly hard for me.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

I'm just like you man. You just have to trust us and take that leap of faith though. I see you said my line that I told you to say, even though it was the wrong time to say it, lol. But you still had the courage to say it. Just have that courage again and you'll be set. It doesn't even need to be much, but just imply that you want to hook up.


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## SADFighter (May 4, 2007)

RacerX said:


> SADFighter said:
> 
> 
> > Just to add, a lot of people here have given you advice and for some reason you don't believe in yourself. Rather than asking "is this girl giving signals" and then telling us that this girl is practically throwing herself at you, you should be asking "why don't I believe that a girl could be into me?" because this one obviously is.
> ...


I hear you man. If it's any concession, I screwed up real bad with a girl last year. Had her over and did nothing. And yet, tonite, she started flirting with me again. I may have to redefine my idea of the window. :b


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## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

shyvr6 said:


> It seems she's one of those party girls who isn't looking for a relationship just something physical so don't expect much more after that. Just go for it pretty much. She's been waiting for you to do that.


1. If she wants it that bad, why doesn't she make her own ****ing move?

2. Again, what do guys in this situation do if they don't want to be promiscuous. It IS possible, you know.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

RacerX: Next time she has her hand on your leg, put your hand on her hand, then lean in and kiss her. Or next time she's bearhugging you, look her in the eyes for a moment and then move in... If she's this aggressive, maybe she'll take the lead in the next few steps......

Reverse roles for a minute and picture yourself in her place. Should she / Does she know you're interested in her? If not, then maybe she thinks her next move could be construed as illegal... She needs a signal from you indicating that you are physically interested.



PGVan said:


> 2. Again, what do guys in this situation do if they don't want to be promiscuous. It IS possible, you know.


You can ignore her come-ons. If she's only looking for a good time and you only want a relationship, she's not really a match for you.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

PGVan said:


> 1. If she wants it that bad, why doesn't she make her own @#%$ move?


She's been making moves on him for weeks, but he hasn't done anything. Maybe she wants to be reassured that he's interested. She could think he's playing hard to get in her mind and she likes that.


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## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

I guess half the reason I asked about not wanting promiscuity is because seemingly every time something like this general subject is brought up, the advice to the guy almost always amounts to "take her home and bang her". I don't understand it.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

I'm saying this stuff because he wanted to take her home:



RacerX said:


> After that do we just walk in the door and rip each others clothes off? Or just do more kssing on the lounge then progress from there to fondling, then take it to the bedroom?


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## RacerX (Jun 12, 2006)

Well I am a 21 year old guy with a functioning set of genitals. I could go either way on the relationship thing, I'm not really fussed.

That 'hard to get' theory sounds right on the money too. Each week she seems more obvious and more 'into' me.

I wish this forum had a reputation system so I could rep all you guys. I was originally going to post this on a bodybuilding forum that I visit, but posting a thread like this with me being so clueless in a forum full of roided up massive guys wouldn't go down too well.


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## RacerX (Jun 12, 2006)

PGVan said:


> 1. If she wants it that bad, why doesn't she make her own @#%$ move?
> 
> 2. Again, what do guys in this situation do if they don't want to be promiscuous. It IS possible, you know.


Well we've never been completely alone. There hasn't been a suitable location for either of us to make an overtly sexual advance.

And also, when her hand was on my leg, my hand was holding her hand. Her friends were in the car too so going at it wouldve been awkward.

Same thing with the hug. Were we staring into each others eyes for at least 10 seconds. Yet, friends were there, pretty awkward.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

Next time you see her try to get her alone. Say, hey let's go sit over there. If you want you can grab her hand and lead her to where you want to go. She'll like that.


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

She's really into you. Give her your number and tell her to call you back. She shoud call back on the same day or the next day, because she is completely flirting with you.


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## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

RacerX said:


> Well I am a 21 year old guy with a functioning set of genitals.


I'm a 23 year-old guy with a functioning set of genitals, yet I wouldn't have sex with a woman unless it's in a serious relationship. I just don't understand how sex is seen as something so unimportant by most people of our generation. Maybe I should have been born in the 1930s.


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## Raplovehate (Jan 15, 2008)

PGVan said:


> RacerX said:
> 
> 
> > Well I am a 21 year old guy with a functioning set of genitals.
> ...


Heh heh, they pulled my other comment. I agree with you though man. Even though I'm still a virgin, I don't see myself having sexual contact of any degree without being in a serious relationship first. Also, to the thread starter, I definitely think she has a thing for you. There's someone at my job that does the exact same thing with me everytime I see her. Almost like somethings gotta be said but neither of us know what.


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## RacerX (Jun 12, 2006)

This is kind of embarrassing, but how do you take off a bra? Is it hard? I was even considering hiding scissors in my pocket and trying to cut it off when the situation arises.


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## Zen Mechanics (Aug 3, 2007)

don't.. do that. she'll be very pissed if you cut her favorite bra in half. but yes, yes it is hard, very hard. i still haven't mastered it. i've sent upwards of 15 mins trying to get a girls bra off and eventually they're just like "ffs i'll do it myself!" and unsnap it in 2 seconds.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

Have her do it if you're having trouble. So any updates? Did you see her at all yet?


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## RacerX (Jun 12, 2006)

Nah, hopefully tonight.

15 mins? Geez, what the hell do you have to do? Don't they just hook together?


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## Zen Mechanics (Aug 3, 2007)

i don't know! if i knew that i wouldn't have spent 15 minutes doing it! keep in mind i was trying to do it one handed.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

Well goodluck. Try to remember what we said and things should go your way.


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## RacerX (Jun 12, 2006)

She was there for literally 5 minutes on Saturday. I only saw her being walked out by security. Oh well, next weekend.

Do you think if I asked her again(if she comes up really close to my face) if there is anything I could do, and she says something like 'oh theres many things' I should just go for it right then and there? Or say something like 'I have one thing in mind' and then go for it?


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## luciano (Jun 3, 2004)

Don't expect her to come and say the same thing again, the fact is you blew that chance. The good news is..... she is probably gonna give you another one. Don't rehearse/write a script of what you are going to say just listen and respond to what she says and her actions. Again she won't say the same thing to you again, but the second response is the best imo, gives her a very clear response back, keep your mind in that state and you'll do fine. Good luck bro


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

THE ONE HANDED APPROACH

1) With yourself in the 'kiss' position (thats you in front of her, dumbass  )reach behind back. Her back, I mean. Rest thumb and forefinger either side of clasp of bra at rear. Make sure the length of your thumb runs the vertical width of the strap.

There are two u-shaped clasps hooked in the horizontal direction. Your aim is to pull them together so they slide apart

2) Taking a strip of material about 5mm either side of the clasps, squeeze fingers together. The material should rumple up and the clasps unhook. Once the material rumples you may need to recruit the other fingers on your hand ... 

Hey look I even made a diagram for you. Any more help and frankly you'll need us all in the room :afr

The hooks may be the other way up, doesnt matter, same principle. She may have a front fastener on, then well its a bit different. But hey if she helps you then that cant be a bad thing, now can it?


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> THE ONE HANDED APPROACH
> 
> 1) With yourself in the 'kiss' position (thats you in front of her, dumbass  )reach behind back. Her back, I mean. Rest thumb and forefinger either side of clasp of bra at rear. Make sure the length of your thumb runs the vertical width of the strap.
> 
> ...


It sounds like performing triple bypass surgery would be easier.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

You'd still need to get the bra off to do that too though


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> You'd still need to get the bra off to do that too though


Screw that, where's the scalpel?


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

:lol


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

I hope she wasn't being escorted out because she got kicked out, lol? Well if you see her next week just go up to her and give her a hug and say hey how you doing and go from there. You and her seem to have bad timing, lol.


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## aesthete (Jul 3, 2007)

Haha! Unhooking a bra isnt THAT difficult.
Why only use one hand? I know it wouldn't bother me if a guy used both. Makes more sense.

It's a hook and eye clasp, it'd probably help if you got a look at one before you tried it?
You just unhook it, by pushing the two ends in opposite directions so the hook pops out of the 'eye'. Jeez, I'm sure she'd handle it anyway from the sounds of her


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

When will they make bras that come off simply with clapping, like with light switches!?

Hmm... well, that could actually pose some problems in some situations...


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

LoL, that bra would be a guys dream. 

I guess nothing happened yet with Racer X I take it?


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Commercial:

"Clap On [clap clap]! Clap Off [clap clap]! The Clapper Bra! WARNING: Do not wear to sporting events, concerts, awards shows, or any other event that might result in crowds clapping."


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## RacerX (Jun 12, 2006)

shyvr6 said:


> LoL, that bra would be a guys dream.
> 
> I guess nothing happened yet with Racer X I take it?


Haven't seen her since. I'll try again next time and update this thread(hopefully not to need more advice and only to announce my victory).

And the 'hook' style bra sounds fairly easy. I'm sure if I was looking at it and was using two hands it wouldn't be terribly difficult?


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Do they have velcro bras? :lol


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## aviator99 (Nov 23, 2006)

When I was 17 I received a shipment of about 1000 bra's (seriously) to sell on eBay. It was bra's and caseroles (or something like that - like light blouse garments). Mostly bra's though, A/B/C/D/32/34/36. I sold some 100 of them or so in a month and I got sick of selling them, so I listed the rest in 4 large lots.

Nonetheless, I became an expert overnight :lol

I never understood the A/B/C/D/32/34/36 before that but after studying them for a while I figured what it all meant, haha. They are incredibly easy to unclip, too. That was 4 years ago; I still remember, though maybe i'll be a bit rusty by now :lol I really would suggest if you want to figure it out easily, see if you can get a bra somehow. Maybe its harder when its actually on someone, I dont know, I havent got to that point yet :lol


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## aviator99 (Nov 23, 2006)

RacerX said:


> Haven't seen her since.


Devastating news. After reading through the whole thread I was so excited for you and waiting for the grand finale and.... :cry

Seriously man, she was 100% desperate. There really were no wrong moves. Give me the # to the girl, i'll call her, tell her I know you, and we'll get your, ahem, nurses apointment, setup :lol

opcorn


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## theman (Mar 29, 2008)

This has been a funny thread.

I like the bra diagram.


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## RacerX (Jun 12, 2006)

aviator99 said:


> RacerX said:
> 
> 
> > Haven't seen her since.
> ...


I'll probably need that much help.

Hell, I'll even have a live webcam feed from the bedroom if need be for people to watch and tell me what to do....shes f*cking hot too(which is mostly the reason I'm so nervous) so you'd probably want to watch.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

ardrum said:


> It sounds like performing triple bypass surgery would be easier.


It's not really as difficult as it sounds. Besides, even if you can't do it, any woman worth her salt won't seriously care. A little harmless teasing might be in order though.


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

You wrote that shes fing hot. No wonder those guys asked you if you were gay. Probably, if she was as interested in them as she is into you, then they would go for it. 
I really hope that you see her.

The bra diagram was hilarious and so was the comment about the clapper bra. Too funny!


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## RacerX (Jun 12, 2006)

SAgirl said:


> You wrote that shes fing hot. No wonder those guys asked you if you were gay. Probably, if she was as interested in them as she is into you, then they would go for it.
> I really hope that you see her.
> 
> The bra diagram was hilarious and so was the comment about the clapper bra. Too funny!


She is f'ing hot. I see so many guys try to crack onto her at this club, and they are all quickly palmed off into the bin like scrap paper. Thats why I've been a bit confused- i didn't try to crack onto her, i didn't try any corny pick up line, all I did was show my friend my bleeding arm when she was there, and then it all started from there. I have no idea how I could've generated a sexual attraction when so many guys put in tenfold the effort and just get snobbed.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

She felt sorry for you. It's like when people see hurt animals and they want to take care of them and bring them back to good health. That's why you're above the rest of the guys in her eyes. You're her little hurt animal, lol. That's not a bad thing, cause you obviously know why. Any updates?


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## RacerX (Jun 12, 2006)

shyvr6 said:


> She felt sorry for you. It's like when people see hurt animals and they want to take care of them and bring them back to good health. That's why you're above the rest of the guys in her eyes. You're her little hurt animal, lol. That's not a bad thing, cause you obviously know why. Any updates?


Thats true about hurt little animals but I still don't see how that could create sexual attraction? Seems like only a way that two people meet.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

Well the way you describe her in your original post suggests she's really flirty or really easy to put it bluntly. Now add her nursing you back to health to that, and I think she just wants to continue having that good feeling, which would be helping you some more if you know what I mean.


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## RacerX (Jun 12, 2006)

shyvr6 said:


> Well the way you describe her in your original post suggests she's really flirty or really easy to put it bluntly. Now add her nursing you back to health to that, and I think she just wants to continue having that good feeling, which would be helping you some more if you know what I mean.


Probably a little from Column A, a little from Column B. I'll update this thread next time I see her which is hopefully this weekend.


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