# Social Improvement plan: November 2008



## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

*Social Improvement plan: 2008*

Ok, so I've revised my past failed social improvement plans and have put together a new one.

This will be a one month plan, 4 weeks, for overall social improvement, for November.

There will be 3 exercises conducted everyday for the entirety of the month.

They will be:

1) Friendly thinking habit formation 
- I will go to mall, gym, library, popular street or anywhere with people
- I will pick a person and imagine what would happen if I said something to them
- I will interrupt any negative thinking and replace it with positive thinking
- I will repeat with different people for 10 reps, then rest for a minute, then go again and continue for a total of 4 sets of 10 reps

2) Self image or "thick skin" building 
- I will lie down and go back to a time in my life where I was very socially anxious from pissing someone off
- I will re-think the entire situation: first determining whether the person's intention was to give constructive critism or attack me. If I determine it to be constructive critism, I shall consider what he had to say and decide if its good advice or not and appreciate his honesty. If I determine it to be an attack, I will imagine myself responding in competitive mode ready for the challenge and the fight (similar to how someone would be when playing a fun competitive game, with absolutely no negative or harsh feelings involved)
-I will repeat this for 5 different scenarios

3) Affirmations
-Affirmations will be recorded in my own voice, and will be along the lines of "They are friendly, they like me"
-They must be listened to at least once a day
-They will be stated in a positive, yet respectable and tuff tone of voice
-the purpose of the Affirmations will to assist in the friendly thinking habit forming

So no contact will be made yet, with any people. I already tried that in previous plans, and although I did say things to people I've never said before, I didn't achieve the whole desire to socialize which I was after. Instead, I formed the desire to never speak to another human being again. So this time, no contact is to be made until the habit of proper thinking is fully formed. So hopefully ill achieve that by December, and then the whole month of December can be about exercises that involve contact. Im not sure how ill do a contact excersize for thick skin building, since its unethical to be going around pissing people off as an excersize. I could get people to play the part of being pissed off at me, but if I know they're just acting then it wont work. Ill probably just stick with past memories and new situations as they come

There will be a before Video made on Nov 1, 2008. The video will be me talking about issues, where I'm at with this and where I hope to be. It must be of significant duration for a full glimpse as to the nature of my social anxiety

On Nov 30 another Video will be made of a similar nature. Then the before and After Videos will be compared for improvements in tonality, body language and speaking
All results will be reviewed, and a decision will then be made on what future projects will be conducted.


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## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

Alright, Zero tolerance policy is in full effect:
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...-my-brain-zero-tolerance-policy-now-in-52427/

today i will complete my affirmation recordings and distrubute it to cell phone and mp3 player

tomorrow week 1 will begin


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

Looks like a good plan AJ. It really does.

It seems completely.

If you don't believe in an affirmation immediately, then try to analyze it. Always ask the question "why?"

Also if you are potentially out there in the real world, and you want to interaction with a person, any person, and these negative thoughts come up, inquire, "why?" all the time. If another negative thought pops up, again inquire, "why?" Simple one word question, "why?" And it's easy to remember and do with any thought or affirmation you don't believe in.

After you shaked your thoughts up, pursue the interaction, and just be nice, geniune and yourself. And whether the interaction was positive or negative, just always learn from that interaction. What made it positive and why? or What made it negative and why? And what can I do next time that can be more healthy or positive? Use this structure for every interaction you have. And I believe you are going to grow ten-fold times faster. 

This has worked for me. So I don't know if it might work for you.

But I just want to wish you good luck with your goals because it sounds like you think a lot about it and want to defeat your own issues. So again good luck AJ and again I wish you the best!!!

Sincerely,
Gerard


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## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

thanks Gary


well this plan may have to be put on hold

I was working from 7am till 11 pm last night

it may be like this for awhile, so all plans are on hold till my work is secured


but based on the 1st week, I think im ready to start intiating contact, so time to up the excersizes to next level


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## anewme3 (Nov 15, 2008)

Good luck sweety !

Melissa.


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## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

alright, lets try this again
ill go at this for the rest of 2008

this is just a step towards the ultimate goal

This would be the ultimate goal:

ULTIMATE GOAL: 
Have full command and control over what you say and do.

PROOF THAT ULTIMATE GOAL IS ACHIEVED:
You must complete all Requirements daily for one calendar month 
Requirement 1:
Ask 10 different people out to outings.
If you arrange it there with them, you must try to arrange it within the current month.
If you don’t arrange it there, then you must obtain contact information.
Requirement 1 is void for that day if you’ve worked more than 10 hours that day
Requirement 2:
You must call all the numbers you received on the previous day at least once and attempt to arrange an outing within the current month
Requirement 3:
You must go on all outings arranged.
If work or another outing conflicts with an outing, you must attempt a call at least once to re-schedule


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## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

**** man, look at this goal

this is impossible


what steps could possibly get me there

thats some intense ****


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## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

fcuk! all my other goals depend on the success of this one goal.
Im doomed to fail at everything unless I can figure this out


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## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

Ok, if this is going to work, I need to know why Im doing this. What EXACTLy do i want to achieve from this???

fitness plans have suceeded only when I knew the answer to that question. When Im out there struggling, the question will constantly come up "why am i putting myself threw this??"

If i dont have an answer I will quit guarenteed. If I do have an answer I will never stop


so im gona go sleep on this tonight


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## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

_AJ_ said:


> alright, lets try this again
> ill go at this for the rest of 2008
> 
> this is just a step towards the ultimate goal
> ...


Gosh that's a lot of pressure on yourself? You could start with just practicing a good speaking voice daily where you are clear, confident, kind with all people you encounter. Work, school, shopping, etc. Write it in your journal which you could do well or not. And going to some social functions and starting conversations and get to know people and if things are friendly to ask for numbers. But its virtually impossible to put a time on it like a month or a number of people either. I think all you need to do is put in the effort to go to meetings to talk to people, and see how the encounters work out. I just think you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to actually have the result of a certain amount of people as friends. The accomplishment is in just putting in the effort to get to know people and waiting to see how the other responds. If you could schedule one social group, meeting, class, party a week that sounds like plenty for now.


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## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

well its just the ultimate goal, like my life's dream


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## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

whatever, i cant think of any goal from this

relationships and friendships are just a pain in the ***

screw this plan

this is canceled


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## saillias (Oct 5, 2008)

Don't cancel! 

that's the lazy voice in your head telling you to quit because it doesn't want to leave its comfort zone and is afraid of change


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## thecgmguy (Nov 24, 2007)

Maybe I'm missing something... what was wrong with the original plan?


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## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

_AJ_ said:


> well its just the ultimate goal, like my life's dream


Did I say something wrong? I thought it was a lot to ask 10 people is all in a month. I don't have many friends either and I couldn't do that myself. i would have to do less.


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## TorLin (Nov 14, 2006)

gave up to easily... 
no pain no gain.


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## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

ok, lets try this again


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## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

_AJ_ said:


> ok, lets try this again


I am apparently getting your self-improvement threads confused. Ooops. I thought this was the one about the 10 people.

You are definitely going in the right direction and thinking this through I think. I hope you don't overburden yourself too much is all.


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## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

daaa, this isnt working, I can think clearly and wonderfully when im not talking with anyone. but once I engage anyone in chit chat, it all goes to hell!!

its time to take this to the next level: actual interacting with people and excersizing proper thinking


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## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

well thats the end of 2008.
Id say this plan went pretty good
I fell apart at one point, but im back together and redy to go!

my mentallity seems to be alot better now, Im thinking more positive about interacting with people, which was the goal of this plan.

its time to move on to 2009 plan: actually interacting with people !


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