# College rant - can anyone relate?



## rdf8585 (Nov 19, 2004)

Many people have told me that college was the best time of their life - all the friends, all the people they meet, all the memories. But it hasn't ever been like that for me and I don't know why.

I've been in college for almost three years now. I've never met anyone I could consider a friend - or even a aquaintence. It just hasn't happened. Not in year one at when I lived in the dorms and certainly not at my 2nd college, a commuter school. And the memories? My lasting memories of college up to now are all my problems with math, bad advice from my advisors, and other assorted garbage that one would rather forget.

I look at other people and wonder why I never have had such an easy time integrating into college life. An acquaintence of mine from my high school paper is now at a state school, rising quickly on their newspaper, and apparently has migrated into college life like it was no big deal. Tons of new friends, always doing something. I knew this kid James from 3rd grade until he went off to college. He changed as soon as he got there and began to live a better life than what he had in high school. We drifed apart and haven't talked in two years.

I'm not jealous or anything like that, but just curious why things that come easy for so many other people my age are so hard for me. I just am so far behind everyone else as far as life experiences go. I do believe what one experiences in life can shape them as a person, and I haven't experienced much. I haven't had a friend in three years, and only one or two in the years prior to that. I remember the day before spring break, my Spanish prof asked the class what they were doing on spring break. Some girl was driving to D.C. I thought to myself - I can't even drive in downtown without feeling like a nervous wreck.

I don't know why it's so hard for me. I don't think I was ready to off to college when I did - I graduated HS when I was only 17 and I was just so emotionally and socially immature then. I've always made good decisions for myself as far as right and wrong, but I'm still immature socially and what not.

You'd think with all the time I spend in the library that I'd meet someone good throughout these past three years. Granted the library isn't a great place for socializing, but that doesn't stop most people. I know I'm not at all like the vast majority of people my age - I have no interest in drinking or partying, for example, but there has to be some people out there like me. People tell me there are, but where are they? I'm not much to look at, but as far as I can tell, I'm a pretty nice guy.

I can't be the only homebody who likes 60's music as much as current music. I can't be the only homebody who likes watching two-reel comedies from the 30s and 40s, or the only homebody who likes Antiques Roadshow. I can't be the only homebody who obsesses about sports, or the only homebody who watches Monk, O.C, American Idol, and How I Met Your Mother. I can't be the only homebody who is into computers, or the only homebody who is shy, reserved, and have strict old fashioned morals.

Or can I?


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## kennybenny (May 8, 2005)

The best time to meet friend is at the beginning of the semester where everyone is a total stranger to everyone else. If you see anyone sitting alone during a lecture, chances are they want someone who they can talk to and become friends as well. The hardest part is intiating a chat, and then after that you will realize its really not that hard. Everyone is human just like you are. 

It helps if you joke around more, rather than being a serious student, because laughter is the bridge that connects two people together. 

I can tell you that I'm not the funniest person on earth, but at least I try to be one. You cant expect yourself to be perfect, its all about experience. 

Thats life, we need to stop thinking about it, and do more of doing something about it.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

rdf8585 said:


> Many people have told me that college was the best time of their life - all the friends, all the people they meet, all the memories. But it hasn't ever been like that for me and I don't know why.
> 
> I've been in college for almost three years now. I've never met anyone I could consider a friend - or even a aquaintence. It just hasn't happened. Not in year one at when I lived in the dorms and certainly not at my 2nd college, a commuter school. And the memories? My lasting memories of college up to now are all my problems with math, bad advice from my advisors, and other assorted garbage that one would rather forget.
> 
> ...


This is almost exactly like me, except I'm five years older than you (but probably look younger than you just the same)

Anyway, university hasn't been the big social maturation for me that I thought it might be. How naive I was. I did know a few people that were in my previous major, but after I switched programs I haven't got to know anyone at all. I still think, in a social way, I'm too young for college. I'm not into going to bars and getting drunk, so that isolates me from roughly 96% of the student population. I don't know anyone in class to talk to. I just go to class and come home. Now I'm in my last term so that's going to end soon.



> I can't be the only homebody who likes 60's music as much as current music.


Actually I like it a lot more than current music. I don't go for what's cool, I go for what's good.



> It helps if you joke around more, rather than being a serious student, because laughter is the bridge that connects two people together.


It might help, but just saying "joke around more" doesn't really do it. I don't know anything funny to say.


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## isolyde (Apr 6, 2006)

I'm also finishing up my third year in college, and nothing has gone as well as I had hoped (and it's not like my expectations were that high to begin with). I haven't made any friends either. Then again, how can I expect to make friends when I can easily go a few weeks of school without saying a word to anybody? I can't really say I'm trying.

Living in dorms sounds terrifying to me though. I doubt I could ever do that. At least it sounds like you have more courage than me, if that counts for anything. :b I know it doesn't, so all I can really say is that I know how you feel.


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## Shadowed (Apr 5, 2006)

Yes, I can relate to your situation, RD.

I can only say that living on a university campus and attending this institution is like living in a fish bowl compared to the rest of the bigger world.

I remember having a short-term career for 5 years before going back to university and completing another degree, except this time in a larger school. I took college before university, and did a 2 year diploma program. The classes were smaller, and people weren't expected to attend every single class. You could basically get away with not participating and blending in with the crowd. After completing the diploma, I worked for 5 years in the real world and I can honestly say that I miss the "working world" and would trade it in immediately for this crappy university experience. In my former job, my coworkers were friendly and it was a great social environment. Work was work. You didnt have to take it home with you. University is just plain hard, both academically and socially. Like your situation, many of my peers drink heavily and party on the weekends. Sure, it's the norm, but it's definitely not something I'm used to or enjoy doing. 

Right now, I am almost finished my degree which took 4 long years of hell. I can relate to your frustration about not finding the right friends to hang out with. It's tough. Making new friends when you're coping with SA, and having different interests than the majority is very hard. 

Despite the hardships, there is some comfort knowing that you are going to acquire a good education, and you've kept your self-identity. Pretty soon, you'll be out in the workforce and the consistency of going to work every day could help you with your social skills. 

I just want to say that it's never too late. Life has its opportunities, and we can pick and choose our own battles sometimes. Hang in there. There's light at the end of the tunnel.

Shadowed


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## Mr_Twig (Apr 10, 2006)

I look back on my first year and realized I'm accomplished virtually nothing. I've taken a series of unrelated classes, never continued in any of them, and only have a couple of friends. I never submitted any comic strips to the campus paper like I said I would. I haven't worked for a year, and my bank account is dwindling. I know it was worth getting out of my parents' house, but I really expected a lot more. Then again, that's what they say about the first year (who are "they"?).


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## bright572 (Jan 22, 2006)

...


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Wowee wow!
I was also 17 when I graduated and in the same boat through college. I had a miserable time with college. 

I still prefer 60s music - would love for my parents to teach me the Watusi. We must have gotten that from our parents.

the Donna Reed show - Shelley Fabares (HOLLA!)
My Three Sons - Mike was the oldest son, not Robbie!
the Patty Duke show - I have a lot of respect for her since she came forward about her bipolar disorder.

Anyway, In all honesty, I think we are actually more mature in some ways. We bypass all the "mistakes" because we can see around it. I have heard a lot from people who partied a lot and they do regret some of the things they did.


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

I also heard from people that high school is supposed to be the best time of your life, but it wasn't for me. They say life just gets worse after that. :afr College isn't so great for me. It's a lot of work. I don't drink or party either. :afr There's not much for me to look forward to after college. Working at a job for 8 hours a day. Who came up with the 8 hour day? I find it exhausting and a waste of my existance. Work work work work. This is what we spend 16 years of our lives (kindergarten through college) training for? I think about it and ask myself, Is this life? Is this what life really is? I don't know how people do it.


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## winduptoy (Jun 21, 2005)

whiteclouds said:


> I also heard from people that high school is supposed to be the best time of your life, but it wasn't for me. They say life just gets worse after that. :afr


I think when they say that they mean the partying people and such. . . you know? Because they can goof around and get drunk and whatever but they don't want to grow up. But for people who aren't into that, maybe the best is yet to come just because their interests are different?

Anyway, rdf8585, you sound like a person I'd want to meet. I hang out in the library all the time, too, and haven't ever met anyone. I was also 17 when I graduated high school and started college. I think it's hard for us college kids who aren't into drinking and partying.


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