# Therapist stressing me out and creating a dilemma



## hazelblue (Jun 6, 2012)

I was really optimistic about seeing a hypnotherapist because I've had some success with hypnosis CDs and nlp-style books. Also this therapist had many good reviews on his website. Of course in retrospect, he obviously wouldn't advertise with bad reviews!

Anyway, the point is I really quite dislike him! I have to listen to his CDs 'for the course to work' but they end up just stressing me out. I can't calm down and relax (the whole idea). I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.

I have to go back to see him in a few weeks once the recordings have taken effect (not likely), for him to teach me self hypnosis but I strongly think I should just cut my losses instead of paying him to do nothing for me.

If anyone is interested I'll say why I don't like him.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

I'd say if you really don't like him, you should save your time and money and search out someone else. 

And now I'm curious, what don't you like about him?


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## hazelblue (Jun 6, 2012)

First time I met him was in the waiting room and he came in quite over the top almost shouting something like well well well let's see what I can do for you... which I found a quite bizarre manner even for a regular person, but very unnecessary for the situation. He didn't make any effort to come across in the right way for how a client might be feeling. Then in the room he called me sweetheart which isn't the best term when you're meant to be professional. He asked what the problem was, and I said I've been having severe anxiety over the last 6 months. Then he kept asking what happened 6 months ago to cause this... however anxiety isn't necessarily caused by an event, it just got worse than it had been.

I had two appointments but he never asked how it went afterwards, even though the second time my headphones were too loud and I was still tense after. He's shown no concern as to whether I'm actually improving.

His dialect and accent are irritating to me because it's the sort of 'city version' of my own which is more harsh and has distracting intonations.

His sessions are not at all catered to what I said my problems were... I can find better stuff on iTunes.

Probably the nail in the coffin of respect was when he took a phonecall from a member of the public and told the dude what his problem was etc. but then when he hung up he said to me 'I thought he was going to tell me his whole life story!'. That comment about the dude on the phone just rubbed me the wrong way.


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## istayhome (Apr 4, 2012)

He sounds very unprofessional. In order for therapy to work you must be very comfortable with your therapist. The guy you're seeing is really being negligent and not giving you the type of care and attention that is expected of any therapist. 

I quit seeing a therapist for similar reasons. Though she wasn't as bad as this guy, she never followed up with me about many important aspects of her treatment.

The way he took a phone call in the middle of your session, then talked about the conversation with you is grounds for him to receive an official reprimand from the state licensing board. It is unethical and will negatively affect your ability to trust him.

His mannerisms sound pretty typical of popular NLP practitioners. Over-the-top, over-confident, etc...

I would say find a new therapist. If you already have a bad image of the guy it is highly unlikely that continuing to see him will benefit you. Don't continue wasting your money only to realize this down the road. Good luck.


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## MrWibblyWobbly (Mar 2, 2012)

The thing about hypnotherapy is that you don't need to get training in psychological disorders to practice as a hypnotherapist. Does this guy have any sort of degree from a university in psychology or counseling? If not, he may not be prepared to address what you're dealing with.


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## hazelblue (Jun 6, 2012)

You guys are right, I should end it. How though... should I give the real reason or just say its not working for me. It'll be by email because that's how I organised it and also I'm too chicken to call him up!


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## Solomon's Tomb (Aug 14, 2012)

He's not trying EMDR, is he? That's a fancy word for "hypnosis." I had a doctor try it on me, but since I don't believe in psychological mysticism it didn't work on me. Hypnosis only works if you believe in it.

But yeah, fire him and get your money back. Not just half, _all_ of it. Threaten him with legal action.


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## hazelblue (Jun 6, 2012)

No, wasn't EMDR. Would just like to point out that I am a general sceptic but have found hypnosis done well is the only thing that has ever relaxed me. When I calm my mind I can get past anxiety much easier. I don't think hypnosis is a cure of any kind. It's disappointing that I could be so let down by someone who seems to be so acclaimed in the area. I don't think I will ask for previous money back and I doubt he will offer it... that would be a decent gesture though.
On a side note, what should I try next, if anything... CBT?


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## socialdrugs (Jan 26, 2012)

wow I'd seek out someone else, he sounds very unprofessional. Try not to be put off by hypnotherapy though, I currently have sessions and they're pretty effective. I think you just keep searching around till you find someone who works


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## Cidem (Oct 3, 2012)

Ditch him right away, don't worry about how he will take it! Maybe he might need to talk to someone himself 
I would consider myself a sceptic. Had 3 sessions in summer with nlp/ hypnosis, within 5 - 10 mins of first session he had me relaxed to within an inch of my life. I couldn't lift a limb in the chair, I felt as heavy as a bus and my 2 arms felt like 2 big tree trunks, I couldn't lift them out of chair.
Unfortunately I could not master the reaction or meditation on my own to relax me in work.
But I have another appointment as if only fir an hour I feel at peace
( except of course when the session turns to why you are the way you are! )


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## thundercats (Mar 12, 2012)

@ hazel

Maybe this here will inspire you what to do with your therapist.


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## hazelblue (Jun 6, 2012)

Thanks all, this is what I emailed him. I hope it's ok cause there's no going back!

"I need to cancel our next appointment at... due to the fact that the CDs have not been able to relax me and I am receiving no long term benefit. Thus I see no use learning self hypnosis based on the assumption that the CDs were effective. Sorry for your inconvenience."

Now I'm a bit scared...


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