# More Exposure! Museum ect...



## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

I don't usually bother with starting a thread for myself. In the back of my mind I start thinking or doubting that what I have to say is worth anything of meaning of value. Anyway, I feel compelled to or some yearning, desire, longing to express myself and what I've been accomplishing of late despite adversity. I suppose starting this thread in and of itself is a triumph....

Anyway, I made a trip to the Fernbank Museum in Atlanta on Sunday. Pictures to follow:





















































^lol, but yea that caused anxiety ><

However, the part where I really pushed myself was when I was in the museum store and I kept eying this necklace rack (I don't have much for jewelry). However, these two girls were behind the counter so I kept avoiding, looking over, avoiding and finally said "**** it." I walked over started looking at the tree holding necklaces found a gem that matched my eyes and I found pretty that I would love to wear. Part I complete as well as trying it on in front of others. Funny story about a kid coming back quickly asking "how much?" for the items behind the counter, them telling him $40 and up...his eyes go wide O_O he runs off kinda laughing and goes "NEVER MIND!"

However, the chain was gold and I prefer silver so I pushed myself a bit further and asked them if it was at all possible to change out the chain from gold to silver. The girls were friendly enough about it all, offered to look for extras behind the counter, and one girl said aloud, "This one! The gem on this one is exceptionally ugly, let's change out this chain." It made me laugh but I was happy it was able to be done. Part II complete:


















^turned on a different light, hard to get the color right. It's my eye color.

On the way home I buckled in George (sloth from museum), also added a handmade in Colorado makeup bag (I've needed to replace mine for AGES- cheap ugly clear one). That was a relief.










Once back, I pushed myself further. I went for an hour long walk with my dog during the day as people were coming home in a nice area with joggers, walkers ect everywhere. I kept telling myself _you're not ugly, you look okay, don't hide._ Rather than doing my usual switching directions or complete avoidance I made sure I walk towards every person as to stay on my route. I managed my brief eye contact and shy smiles or a slight wave despite the anxiety or fear. After my walk (also same outfit for museum- minus glasses):










If you're still reading this (thanks, btw), but side funny story. I even managed to pass one woman on a two lane walkway. She was on the wrong side (my side), I noticed she wasn't moving so I thought _fine, my dog and I will move over for you I guess_. I said "hi" to her as I passed. She stared at me. Finding this quite rude I said loudly "OR NOT." Kept walking. XD

An accomplishment for me to at least be a little assertive. Both for the necklace and passing that woman after I was being kind enough to move my dog and I for her and even say hi.

ETA- I've been running about 2 miles on most nights. Verbose and everything but yea! I feel mildly accomplished. Also I can only use 15 images...so I'm cutting five to reply hopefully below!


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## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

~250 mya:


















The special exhibit was 'poison' -








^From the Amazon (forget the species but they use them for poison darts, yes they are alive)









^ Coolest part of poison for me was learning where the term "mad hatter" came from. Apparently the hat makers used mercury to make the hats of the time and essentially became 'mad' from mercury poisoning. As such it ties into "Alice in Wonderland."









^Life arsenic demonstration. Reminded me of Ochem

THERE. I know, I like to picture share.


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## RubixQ (Jul 29, 2014)

There are no words to express how great an achievement this is. Really well done. You should feel very proud of yourself. :clap:yes


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

Great pictures! I love museums (and libraries ). That looks like a good one. Don't worry about the lady with the dog - maybe she was just pre-occupied or something. No big deal. 

Good on you for getting out and about and showing us where you went.


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## azicoor (Apr 10, 2015)

Very, very, very refreshing thread to read!!! Congratz on getting out and enjoying yourself and continue to do so, very encouraging to me at least to give it a go myself.

So glad you shared this, I already woke up in a great mood and reading this added to my day. Take care


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## TeenyBeany (Sep 3, 2008)

I am so happy you decided to share you experiences. It really is motivating to read stories of accomplishments  Super proud of you! And don't worry about that lady. Perhaps she has SA/GA and was stressing out so much she didn't realize she was on the wrong side of the sidewalk lol.


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## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

RubixQ said:


> There are no words to express how great an achievement this is. Really well done. You should feel very proud of yourself. :clap:yes


^THANK YOU! This means a lot and it's nice knowing people that get it : )



Sin said:


> awesome pics and congrats on putting yourself out there


^ty Sin <3333 We'll chat more soon : )



don said:


> Great pictures! I love museums (and libraries ). That looks like a good one. Don't worry about the lady with the dog - maybe she was just pre-occupied or something. No big deal.
> 
> Good on you for getting out and about and showing us where you went.


^Well, I was the one with the dog. I moved my dog and I out of our lane since she wasn't moving. She glared at me so it was weird. Anyway! I love museums too. I spent almost my entire day in Dublin, Ireland at the Museum of Archeology.



azicoor said:


> Very, very, very refreshing thread to read!!! Congratz on getting out and enjoying yourself and continue to do so, very encouraging to me at least to give it a go myself.
> 
> So glad you shared this, I already woke up in a great mood and reading this added to my day. Take care


^ Thank you, makes me feel happy even elated that it added to you having a better day and I do hope to inspire you some. WHEN (not if) you do, share some pictures or let me know!



RadnessaurousRex said:


> Just came back from Coachella two weeks ago after camping for 4 days and had a blast, next up is Sasquatch in Washington & Bonnaroo in Tennessee :clap


^ SO JEALOUS YOU WENT TO COACHELLA. That's awesome! Bonnaroo isn't that far from me, I'm considering it! Also thank you and extremely brave of you to do all this solo! I'm not at a point I could go to a concert alone, but I'll get there.



TeenyBeany said:


> I am so happy you decided to share you experiences. It really is motivating to read stories of accomplishments  Super proud of you!


^ Thank you! I appreciate it. Feeling happier now reading all of this including your post. :yes

*huge sigh of relief* I honestly thought no one would post or take notice so I sincerely do appreciate it. ^_^


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## Woodydreads (Sep 8, 2014)

That was probably one of the most interesting threads I've seen on here. Congrats for facing your fears.. Also, that sloth is awesome.. Haha
Great pictures!!


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

gratz dudette


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## SickAndTiredofSA (Mar 31, 2015)

good job!!


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

Thank you for sharing all that, very cool place the museum. And you're a lovely woman, looks like you're in great shape. 

Glad you could channel the negative emotion from the person not responding to you out of you instead of keeping it inside and beating yourself up over it.


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## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

Woodydreads said:


> That was probably one of the most interesting threads I've seen on here. Congrats for facing your fears.. Also, that sloth is awesome.. Haha
> Great pictures!!


Eeeeeee! Thank you! . George says hi lol



SickAndTiredofSA said:


> good job!!


Merci



mjkittredge said:


> Thank you for sharing all that, very cool place the museum. And you're a lovely woman, looks like you're in great shape.
> 
> Glad you could channel the negative emotion from the person not responding to you out of you instead of keeping it inside and beating yourself up over it.


Thank you! I actually just got back from a run tonight, new personal record (I just need to take it a bit easy on the runs because runner's knee). I've been trying to get back into shape and helps with the anxiety. Dog loves it too.

Glad you noted that! In the past I never would have said anything, just would've taken the glare and simmered over it. So it was 'brave' of me to just get it out.


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## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

RadnessaurousRex said:


> Yeah lol, it was a pretty awesome experience. On the drive over there my mind was just like "you're ****ing insane! YOU'RE ****ING INSANE!!!" XD
> 
> I enjoyed myself though, I saw 20+ acts in three days, totally worth it. I'm planning to go back for Coachella 2016.
> 
> ...


Those pictures are amazing btw! And yes, you're crazy (in a good way) lol.
I know but I'm broke and currently living at a friend's apartment. Bonnaroo is a 2.5 hour drive for me. Wait....I looked up the ticket prices.... $275-350? Is that for real?


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## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

Nice, yea, no way I can afford or go even if I wanted to. Not even remotely affordable >< sigh


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## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

*Triumph #2- Solo hike during busy daytime*

Passing lots of people, dogs, kids ect. Letting kids pet dog, having people ask me questions about dog, and I even offered one kid to pet him since he was practically dying to.

It's a National Park filled with Civil War history. Major Battle here and overlooks Atlanta, Buckhead, and Stone Mountain. I didn't sleep at all last night so figured why not just go hike. Either way it was beautiful and I tried my best to NOT photograph random people lol. Sometimes I would wait. I set the timer for my dog and I.


















^ Stone mountain far left, Buckhead in the middle, and ATL to the right

I tried to get us!


















And just because he's a goof:

















Better!









Best!


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## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

On the way back down:



























And history stuff:



























The earthworks are still around this place where the soldiers dug in but those pics are on the other camera and I've over shared as is! I run down it anyway it's a bit over a mile.


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## slowlyimproving (Jan 2, 2014)

That's awesome! Great job! It's fun when you go out and do things that interest you.


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

reaffected said:


> Thank you! I actually just got back from a run tonight, new personal record (I just need to take it a bit easy on the runs because runner's knee). I've been trying to get back into shape and helps with the anxiety. Dog loves it too.
> 
> Glad you noted that! In the past I never would have said anything, just would've taken the glare and simmered over it. So it was 'brave' of me to just get it out.


Yeah be careful to not overdo it. I have done damage to my feet and knees and lower back by exercising too much (and wearing ill fitting shoes when I didn't know any better),and now they all hurt after a while of strenuous use. So mix in some low impact exercise as well. Swimming, stationary bike, ect.

I wouldn't say anything to people in the street for fear of it devolving into a physical confrontation. I suppose with two women the chance of that happening is lower. Guys tend to go around in life pissed off and looking for an excuse to swing on a person.


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## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

slowlyimproving said:


> That's awesome! Great job! It's fun when you go out and do things that interest you.


Thank you friend <3333 I think you know a bit of me and hiking.



mjkittredge said:


> (and wearing ill fitting shoes when I didn't know any better),and now they all hurt after a while of strenuous use. So mix in some low impact exercise as well. Swimming, stationary bike, ect.
> 
> I wouldn't say anything to people in the street for fear of it devolving into a physical confrontation. I suppose with two women the chance of that happening is lower. Guys tend to go around in life pissed off and looking for an excuse to swing on a person.


I'm much the same as you. Also my hips and the angle of it, doesn't help my knees during impact >< do you under or over pronate? I underpronate myself and was even running in shoes for quite sometime for over promotors (as this is most common). It did have a negative impact - pun eh eh- on me. I should be swimming - too cold- and biking as well but a stationary bike makes me die inside.

Two women? What two women? Lol. I went hiking by myself with my dog. XD I don't have any female friends (wish I did) but that was just me and my dog which, when hiking or running, I couldn't ask for a better buddy.

That's strange. It isn't like that here or in my area. No one goes about looking to rumble. Not even men to other men. It could just be your area? I've never encountered that around the US.


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

reaffected said:


> Thank you friend <3333 I think you know a bit of me and hiking.
> 
> I'm much the same as you. Also my hips and the angle of it, doesn't help my knees during impact >< do you under or over pronate? I underpronate myself and was even running in shoes for quite sometime for over promotors (as this is most common). It did have a negative impact - pun eh eh- on me. I should be swimming - too cold- and biking as well but a stationary bike makes me die inside.
> 
> ...


 "I even managed to pass one woman on a two lane walkway." so you + her I meant when I said 2 women.

I don't think I pronate, pretty sure I have evenly balanced feet and posture and movements. It's just the repeated shock of impact over time wearing everything down. Then the shoes having too much room and feet sliding a bit made that even worse.

Yeah this area has a drug problem, poverty problem, violence problem. All tied together. A person critiqued my outfit one day, saying it was too bulky and would get in the way during a fight, assuming that would be inevitable or highly that some altercation would take place. When you walk past people in the street they put their head down and look at their shoes or look away.


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## MCHB (Jan 1, 2013)

Reaffected, it's great to see you getting out and doing things! It's awesome to see that you've made a thread dedicated to exposure!

I'm extremely proud of you (to the point that when you mentioned it to me, I had to come back, if only briefly, to check it out and offer my support), I know how hard it is to get out and about sometimes, but it's always rewarding to do so in the long run. I've always enjoyed seeing the pictures of your adventures and following along as you progress forwards.

Keep up the great work! :squeeze


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## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

mjkittredge said:


> "I even managed to pass one woman on a two lane walkway." so you + her I meant when I said 2 women.
> 
> Yeah this area has a drug problem, poverty problem, violence problem. All tied together. A person critiqued my outfit one day, saying it was too bulky and would get in the way during a fight, assuming that would be inevitable or highly that some altercation would take place. When you walk past people in the street they put their head down and look at their shoes or look away.


Okay, your explaination makes more sense now! I see what you mean on both accounts, the woman and altercation issue. Scary stuff. Does that add to your anxiety going out? I know it would me. Environment affecting things. You able to protect yourself okay?

Yea, running is high impact and so very hard on the body especially on concrete and all hard surfaces. I just like it too much ><



MBwelder said:


> Reaffected, it's great to see you getting out and doing things!
> 
> Keep up the great work! :squeeze


:squeeze


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

reaffected said:


> Okay, your explaination makes more sense now! I see what you mean on both accounts, the woman and altercation issue. Scary stuff. Does that add to your anxiety going out? I know it would me. Environment affecting things. You able to protect yourself okay?
> 
> Yea, running is high impact and so very hard on the body especially on concrete and all hard surfaces. I just like it too much ><
> 
> :squeeze


Too bad you don't live near a beach you could run on the sand barefoot, soft sand is probably gentler. I like to run on trails in the woods with beautiful scenery all around.

I don't know if I could protect myself. I'm 5'11 and 200 pounds, in decent shape from going to the gym for years. But I've never been in a fist fight. Really depends on whoever was attacking me, if they got the initiative - surprise attack, luck, so many variables. I'd rather just avoid conflict whenever possible. I fear pain and injury. I saw an MMA match where a guy did an arm bar move on an opponent and his arm broke in like 6 places, it just crumpled in the middle, gruesome. He won't play the piano again.

But I want to take self defense classes and have at least one fight in a ring, with a ref and rules. So I wouldn't be too afraid if I was attacked someday and had no choice but to fight back. Do you ever think about things like that?


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## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

Your dog is soooo adorable. Congrats :squeeze on the progress  You look really cute in your pics btw.


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## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

mjkittredge said:


> Too bad you don't live near a beach you could run on the sand barefoot, soft sand is probably gentler. I like to run on trails in the woods with beautiful scenery all around.
> 
> I don't know if I could protect myself. I'm 5'11 and 200 pounds, in decent shape from going to the gym for years.
> 
> But I want to take self defense classes and have at least one fight in a ring, with a ref and rules. So I wouldn't be too afraid if I was attacked someday and had no choice but to fight back. Do you ever think about things like that?


I would love to run on the beach in the early morning! I've done it while on vacation and depending on how packed down the sand it, it's a damn good workout.

You win vs me on physical ability to protect yourself anyway. Do I think about? Yes. I have PTSD and I've been chased before, which was terrifying when I was younger (long story, bad story) and again recently when I was out for a jog in one of my more recent apartment complexes. He tried calling me over to his jeep at 11PM. I DID NOT know this man. I kept running showing no interest and put as much distance as I could I turned so he called to me and started chasing me down in his ****ing jeep. He was laughing, yelling for me, I was terrified. I ran and hid around the corner and had a panic attack. His jeep slowly passed by looking but I lost him while hiding on the other side of a van. People saw me, the girl wanted to say something, looked concerned but they kept walking. It's one of the reasons I went that way. People. Either way, I finished my attack and terrified ran home.

But yes, due to the PTSD, I'm forever hyper-aware and vigilant about things to a higher level than most people. I'm sure those other events added to it (others I won't mention). I cope on my runs with music. Really helps me calm the fear and zone out, relax. My dog isn't a protector but I do feel more secure with him there. That helps. I need to start carrying mace again.



TheOLDPrince said:


> Congrats for doing alll that.. change the reminder "youre not ugly" to "you are ****ing gorgeous" lol


:blush baby steps! Thank you though, kind words.



meepie said:


> Your dog is soooo adorable. Congrats :squeeze on the progress  You look really cute in your pics btw.


:heart ^10. Thank you ))


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## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

*Mini update- my favorite place in Atlanta I've avoided for years*

I finally went out and did it- Shakespeare's Tavern in downtown ATL. Not alone this time but that's a whole other step. Chose a seat near the front, however! (yes, no flash, light, click or anything and only pictures I took). There was a older man who was sitting alone next to me (I was in the box seats, he was in the main floor and he struck up a conversation with me). I was more than happy to talk to him about the plays and various works of literature during intermission. Progress! I even told him it was nice talking to him and hugged him goodbye at the end.


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## RubixQ (Jul 29, 2014)

The AMAZING progress continues :clap


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

Cool.good for you!!
I probably need to start trying to be interested in doing more stuff other than going to the gym...or the occasional concert or baseball game...


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## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

RubixQ said:


> The AMAZING progress continues :clap


Thanks for the encouragement! It does help and greatly appreciated. It helps I do love taking pictures though and sharing them. I was mostly amazed at how excited and relaxed even I became at conversing with someone I didn't know. Having a passionate subject to share, helps.



the collector said:


> Cool.good for you!!
> I probably need to start trying to be interested in doing more stuff other than going to the gym...or the occasional concert or baseball game...


Pieces of my soul dies inside every time I step foot in a gym. The exercise is great though and I know I get anxious trapped in a glass gym box surrounded mostly by others in better shape than I, so that is something! Though I've no idea if you've felt anxiety at the gym with others around, I certainly do.

Actually one time I was confidently walking towards my apt gym at 11 PM, looked through the doors, saw someone running on the treadmill, mummered under my breath "NOPE" and promptly turned around went back to my apartment and out for my solo run with my dog outdoors xD

If you do go to a game or the latter, I'd like to hear about it or see a picture.


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## Darkness Evanescent (Jul 30, 2014)

I loved seeing all of your pictures! Congratulations on your accomplishments!  I loved the necklace story lol Love your dog, btw!


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## Dan1987 (May 26, 2015)

What a great thread this is to read, I love your photos and your progress, what a lovely person you are, keep up the awesomeness! You've made my day!


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