# Can't make friends



## everzxd (Mar 1, 2014)

My social anxiety keeps me from making friends and I'm in community college now and I just feel so awkward. People can tell I don't want to be around them and it pisses my boyfriend off because he's a people person. We're always around his friends and sometimes they try to talk to me and I just shut them out. I know that I make myself come off as rude and I really do want friends but people scare me. Yesterday a guy just started talking to me in the hallway like "hey what's up" and I answered him and tried to seem friendly but then he was like "I'm just trying to make friends" and I was like "I didn't say you couldn't" but then he said he could tell that I looked scared when he started talking to me and before I could say anything else he just walked away and I could tell I made him feel bad.


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## HanSolo (Jul 5, 2013)

have u considered imaginary friends ? Or friends in video games ?


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## everzxd (Mar 1, 2014)

HanSolo said:


> have u considered imaginary friends ? Or friends in video games ?


I think that would just make me feel more pathetic


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## Jovozy (Feb 26, 2014)

My social anxiety has made it difficult for me to make friends too. People without SA make it seem so effortless :-( well for me it's anything but that lol I haven't a had meaningful friendship since middle school.


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## everzxd (Mar 1, 2014)

Jovozy said:


> My social anxiety has made it difficult for me to make friends too. People without SA make it seem so effortless :-( well for me it's anything but that lol I haven't a had meaningful friendship since middle school.


That's what my boyfriend does  he says *just* talk to people like it's so easy and it makes me feel weak for not being able to. I need a good, deep friendship I need meaningful conversation. I'm going crazy without it lol


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## jesse93 (Jun 10, 2012)

I think it's something you just have to force yourself to do, you need to push yourself out of that comfort zone, you don't have to have a full blown convo, but just a simple "hey, how are you?" to start off, and you can keep doing this, until you feel more comfortable. I haven't had a friend in about 3 years, but I guess it's just because of the lack of effort I put into it. 

Also, I understand your boyfriend is just trying to help, but he should be understanding of you, and your situation. He shouldn't be pressuring you into talking to his friends, just because he wants you to. That should be something that you should feel comfortable with easing into, not forced into.


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## everzxd (Mar 1, 2014)

jesse93 said:


> I think it's something you just have to force yourself to do, you need to push yourself out of that comfort zone, you don't have to have a full blown convo, but just a simple "hey, how are you?" to start off, and you can keep doing this, until you feel more comfortable. I haven't had a friend in about 3 years, but I guess it's just because of the lack of effort I put into it.
> 
> Also, I understand your boyfriend is just trying to help, but he should be understanding of you, and your situation. He shouldn't be pressuring you into talking to his friends, just because he wants you to. That should be something that you should feel comfortable with easing into, not forced into.


I know that I need to push myself but that's the thing I need to push myself not him or anybody else. When he does it, it makes me feel stupid and a whole lot more pressure than I normally do. I guess I could try starting a conversation like you said but I'm afraid that I'll run out of things to say because that always happens :/..


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## Jovozy (Feb 26, 2014)

everzxd said:


> That's what my boyfriend does  he says *just* talk to people like it's so easy and it makes me feel weak for not being able to. I need a good, deep friendship I need meaningful conversation. I'm going crazy without it lol


Yeah, same here.


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## GrainneR (Feb 7, 2014)

Yeah, I have a permanent ***** face. I do try to be friendly, but I'm just not sure what to do with myself in a social situation.
So, I don't have any friends.
If you practice, I'm sure it'll get easier.


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## borntobehated (Feb 9, 2014)

I talk to myself  Record video of myself


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## wish2Bhappy (Apr 3, 2013)

I wish I could make friends. Just one. Like a normal person. But reviewing my past history shows my struggle. Seven schools from 1st grade to graduation, and at least that many moves. I never had a friend growing up, so how the heck can I expect to have one now? I don't know how to talk to friends, how to small talk? I don't know what's appropriate closeness for friends vs being overbearing? I don't know how to act ... period. The only friends I have had in 20 years (less than a handful) I met during group therapy or similar excercize, so I knew they'd "get me." I am so scared of meeting someone "normal" because they have such great lives, "normal" with the husband, the house and the kids. Oh, how I long for that. But, it's too late for me.


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## everzxd (Mar 1, 2014)

wish2Bhappy said:


> I wish I could make friends. Just one. Like a normal person. But reviewing my past history shows my struggle. Seven schools from 1st grade to graduation, and at least that many moves. I never had a friend growing up, so how the heck can I expect to have one now? I don't know how to talk to friends, how to small talk? I don't know what's appropriate closeness for friends vs being overbearing? I don't know how to act ... period. The only friends I have had in 20 years (less than a handful) I met during group therapy or similar excercize, so I knew they'd "get me." I am so scared of meeting someone "normal" because they have such great lives, "normal" with the husband, the house and the kids. Oh, how I long for that. But, it's too late for me.


I understand. The only people I really connected with as a friend (one person actually) is someone who has problems a lot like mine. No one else understands me and I just want friends to talk to and hang out with but I can't connect with "normal" people either. Small talk is the worst thing, being introverted as well, so even if I knew how to I would probably still avoid it :/


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