# How many times have you been rejected?



## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

For the most courageous of you who did initiate something with a girl or a guy, whether it is in person, or by Facebook, what is your success rate?

How many times have you been friend-zoned?


----------



## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

I've been friend zoned at least three times. I'm trying to block it out though!


----------



## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

I've never been rejected . . . because I've never tried.


----------



## Syndacus (Aug 9, 2011)

Hmm...5 relationships I've been in...most of them lasting over a year. Rejections, had my fair share of them throughout HS and college age.


----------



## Lmatic3030 (Nov 3, 2011)

Still trying to build up the courage for my first attempt


----------



## kiwikiwi (Jul 27, 2009)

if they could push me down a cliff..they would...oh **** it


----------



## Charizard (Feb 16, 2011)

I have never been rejected because I've only asked out girls who were very obvious about where they hoped we were heading.


----------



## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Charizard said:


> I have never been rejected because I've only asked out girls who were very obvious about where they hoped we were heading.


How did you figure that out? Women's minds are complicated, and when I assume their actions it's a high chance that I'm wrong.


----------



## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

4-6 times.


----------



## anthrotex (Oct 24, 2011)

All of the times.

Not literally. But yeah, I pretty much don't put myself out there much, and the times I have it didn't necessarily result in instant rejection, but over time either I lost interest or they lost interest or I did something to mess it up.

But I keep on trying. I only consider it failure when you give up.


----------



## Charizard (Feb 16, 2011)

BobtheSaint said:


> How did you figure that out? Women's minds are complicated, and when I assume their actions it's a high chance that I'm wrong.


When she talks to you for hours every day, shows up to your events unprompted, smiles and grabs you by the arm- it's practically a guarantee.


----------



## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Charizard said:


> When she talks to you for hours every day, shows up to your events unprompted, smiles and grabs you by the arm- it's practically a guarantee.


I've been there, and things didn't turn out that way. People are different, I suppose.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Yes, many times by men I slept with.


----------



## arpeggiator (Jan 6, 2011)

Once. She was a friend, I told I liked her but she never replied. Last month she wished me a happy birthday though.


----------



## LittleSister (Jan 22, 2011)

A few times... But it was usually for moral reason... AKA I was too young... And they were too old. But usually I only approach a man when I know he won't reject me. Me approaching a guy is pretty rare. 

Once when I was sitting on a jetty at night and he was fishing... & once when the guy was significantly older than me (I slipped him a note with my number on it) it took me a long time to work up the courage for this one!!!

But all in all... Probably 4 times. Dunno.

If you're talking 'rejected' as in them not wanting a relationship... Plently of times. Guy's who I slept with and then later said - "It's not you, I don't want a relationship." ... I now know this means "I do want a relationship - just not with you."


----------



## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

IcedOver said:


> I've never been rejected . . . because I've never tried.


Pretty much


----------



## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

LittleSister said:


> A few times... But it was usually for moral reason... AKA I was too young... And they were too old. But usually I only approach a man when I know he won't reject me. Me approaching a guy is pretty rare.
> 
> Once when I was sitting on a jetty at night and he was fishing... & once when the guy was significantly older than me (I slipped him a note with my number on it) it took me a long time to work up the courage for this one!!!
> 
> ...


I wish women would ****friend-zone me.


----------



## northstar1991 (Oct 4, 2011)

I've never been rejected because I haven't tried.


----------



## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

Hmm.. Let's see.. I got rejected by my horseback riding partner, even at the prospect of just friendship.

That's the first & last time I tried.


----------



## shynesshellasucks (May 10, 2008)

Most girls I'm into are out of my league, so I don't even bother trying or give them the chance to shoot me down.


----------



## merryk (Dec 25, 2008)

I don't find it useful to keep tally of rejections. I haven't had too many spectacular relationship implosions, so perhaps that makes it slightly easier to move on :b

I'm definitely fine with being friend-zoned. I'd like some nice friends.



anthrotex said:


> I only consider it failure when you give up.


^I agree. Reminds me of a line I've never forgotten from my Salesmanship prof: every no leads you closer to a yes. Obviously he wasn't referring to dating, but it can be more broadly applied


----------



## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

komorikun said:


> Yes, many times by men I slept with.


I once messed around with a guy and he completely and obviously avoided me the next time he saw me. That's painful. Several months later he apologized for his rude behavior but I'm pretty sure it was only because my brother happened to be at the bar with me that night. Not that I would have ever told my brother about that experience!


----------



## Shades of Grey (Nov 28, 2011)

A handful, I'm king of The Zoners.


----------



## stuart (Jul 16, 2009)

The only winning move is not to play.


----------



## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

Three times in the last two days :b

It doesn't seem too much of a big deal the more you do it, it's painful when you think you don't have any other options, and I've thought that way for a _long long_ time, and still do to a certain extent, but deep down I know it's not true, and I'm really trying to get past it. Desensitising like a boss.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Double Indemnity said:


> I once messed around with a guy and he completely and obviously avoided me the next time he saw me. That's painful. Several months later he apologized for his rude behavior but I'm pretty sure it was only because my brother happened to be at the bar with me that night. Not that I would have ever told my brother about that experience!


Yeah, it's worse than being rejected before sex. You start thinking: was it cause of my belly? my saggy boobs? was I no good in bed?

Anyways, from these experiences I've become much more cut-throat when it comes to casual sex.


----------



## Gorillaz (Jul 13, 2010)

0/0. damn


----------



## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

komorikun said:


> Yeah, it's worse than being rejected before sex. You start thinking: was it cause of my belly? my saggy boobs? was I no good in bed?
> 
> Anyways, from these experiences I've become much more cut-throat when it comes to casual sex.


In my case, I think he thought I was after a relationship. I'm sure I would have dated him but I was fine with just making out. We didn't even live in the same town. I was just home from college. Ah well. I have low self esteem but I know I'm far better looking than the hag he ended up marrying (thank you, Facebook  ).


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Double Indemnity said:


> In my case, I think he thought I was after a relationship. I'm sure I would have dated him but I was fine with just making out. We didn't even live in the same town. I was just home from college. Ah well. I have low self esteem but I know I'm far better looking than the hag he ended up marrying (thank you, Facebook  ).


Yeah, you're right. I've come to realize that it's not about the sex or your body (a few male friends have said so), it's that many men freak out afterwards and think the woman is after a relationship. I just wanted more sex, not a relationship.


----------



## heyJude (Aug 1, 2009)

More times than I care to count. I've also done some rejecting of my own- that hurts too.


----------



## merryk (Dec 25, 2008)

komorikun said:


> I've come to realize that it's not about the sex or your body (a few male friends have said so), it's that many men freak out afterwards and think the woman is after a relationship. I just wanted more sex, not a relationship.


It's easier for some guys to make assumptions about what a woman wants and bail, just to avoid that thing called communication. They can unknowingly miss out on a lot of sex/affection.


----------



## LittleSister (Jan 22, 2011)

komorikun said:


> Yeah, it's worse than being rejected before sex. You start thinking: was it cause of my belly? my saggy boobs? was I no good in bed?
> 
> Anyways, from these experiences I've become much more cut-throat when it comes to casual sex.


God, tell me about it... I had one guy blatantly tell me I was... Well I won't go into detail. It's probably the female equivalent of telling a man he has a small ...

This was in highschool  he told all his mates, my mates. They called me names. URGH.


----------



## liktheangel (Oct 23, 2010)

Just one. I was actually glad I was rejected because I didn't even really like the person and I'm not ready for a relationship at all.


----------



## Phoenix Rising (Jul 7, 2011)

Once was probably a 'friend zone' type of thing ("you're like a sister"), once the guy just wasn't interested after I told him I liked him-but we were able to still continue our friendship, and once a guy I had dated a couple times slowly stopped talking to me because I didn't dress up enough.


----------



## LONER3454 (Sep 14, 2011)

IcedOver said:


> I've never been rejected . . . because I've never tried.


this.


----------



## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

Ive been friend zoned a couple times, but you cant win them all.


----------



## jamesd (Feb 17, 2011)

rdrr said:


> Ive been friend zoned a couple times, but you cant win them all.


Not with that kind of attitude Darryl.


----------



## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

jamesd said:


> Not with that kind of attitude Darryl.


But I hit 9 home runs today!


----------



## jamesd (Feb 17, 2011)

rdrr said:


> But I hit 9 home runs today!


ROFL

good times


----------



## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

rdrr said:


> But I hit 9 home runs today!


So. I once scored 4 touchdowns in 1 game, what's your point?


----------



## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

falling down said:


> So. I once scored 4 touchdowns in 1 game, what's your point?


Some of these players have a bad attitude, skip.


----------



## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

Ape in space said:


> Some of these players have a bad attitude, skip.


Yessssssssssssssssssssss. ROFL.


----------



## proximo20 (Nov 25, 2006)

anthrotex said:


> All of the times.


What is going on in Texas was my first reaction, but got it later.

Anyway,


anthrotex said:


> I only consider it failure when you give up.


 is the right attitude.


----------



## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

Ape in space said:


> Some of these players have a bad attitude, skip.


Some people can't take a joke....


----------



## jamesd (Feb 17, 2011)

falling down said:


> Some people can't take a joke....


It says you are from Ontario. A lot of unsolved murders in Ontario.


----------



## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

jamesd said:


> It says you are from Ontario. A lot of unsolved murders in Ontario.


Apparently they're looking for a scrawny guy with longish hair.


----------



## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

falling down said:


> Some people can't take a joke....


It was a Simpsons line...


----------



## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

Ape in space said:


> It was a Simpsons line...


God dang it Bobby!


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

I don't know...keeping count doesn't benefit you in the least.


----------



## Sanctus (Dec 10, 2010)

6 times out of 6 and the same way its driving me crazy


----------



## Colton (Jun 27, 2011)

IMO I think it's better to get rejected 100 times than to never get the courage to try at all!!

Question for the ladies: do you think it's harder rejecting someone or being rejected yourself?


----------



## jamesd (Feb 17, 2011)

Colton said:


> IMO I think it's better to get rejected 100 times than to never get the courage to try at all!!
> 
> Question for the ladies: do you think it's harder rejecting someone or being rejected yourself?


This is an easy question. No matter how "tough" it is to reject someone it's much worse being the one who's rejected. At times being the one who is rejecting is an ego boost I would imagine.


----------



## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

Colton said:


> IMO I think it's better to get rejected 100 times than to never get the courage to try at all!!


I'd rather be alone all my life than give someone power to deem me not good enough.


----------



## Colton (Jun 27, 2011)

jamesd said:


> This is an easy question. No matter how "tough" it is to reject someone it's much worse being the one who's rejected. At times being the one who is rejecting is an ego boost I would imagine.


Ok let me modify the question: girls, is it MORE AWKWARD to reject a guy or be rejected yourself?


----------



## IcoRules (Apr 29, 2009)

I've never asked anyone out before, so 0. I probably never will. I'm too afraid of being ridiculed by that person I would ask.



Colton said:


> Ok let me modify the question: girls, is it MORE AWKWARD to reject a guy or be rejected yourself?


Way more awkward being rejected. I can't see myself ever doing. I've had to reject guys before, but it's still awkward and not fun.


----------



## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

What exactly does friend zone mean? How do i know if im friend zoned?


----------



## hmnut (Aug 8, 2011)

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> What exactly does friend zone mean? How do i know if im friend zoned?


*What is the friend zone? *

When the person you want to date, decides that they see you as ONLY friendship material not dating material.

*How do you know if you are in the zone?*

If you have to ask, you probably are.

If they ignore or laugh off any hits or signs that you like them romantically. If they openly and freely talk about other people they want to date in front of you.

Biggie, if they say they see you as 'a brother/sister' 'one of the guys/girls'

However in my experience (speaking purely of heterosexual couples) males in the friend zone are usually stuck their for life, women in the friends zone can usually get themselves out.

This is NOT an absolute, just what I have noticed dealing with men and women who have been stuck in the friend zone.


----------



## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

hmnut:1059493171 said:


> VivaEmptinessRoses said:
> 
> 
> > What exactly does friend zone mean? How do i know if im friend zoned?
> ...


Thanks for clearing this up


----------



## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

When I was 13 (and into msn messenger) I was very fond of a friend of friend. We talked a lot through messenger but, even though he'd seen me a couple of times in person, he didn't really remember who I was.

Well one day he asks to see a picture and his reaction when he saw it was "oh, cool." I didn't chat with him again. I took it personally when he started changing his status to "away" whenever i said hello.

I laugh at it now because we've followed very different paths. He's married with a kid... and he's only 23!!


----------



## ThisGuy (Jul 13, 2010)

I haven't tried a single time. Haven't even gotten to know a girl on a personal level once IRL. Pretty sad, I know...


----------



## Doctorius (Sep 12, 2011)

Like 0 times... well, it's not that I ever tried anyway! The more I grow up the more anti-social I seem to get... it sucks I know!


----------



## FadeToOne (Jan 27, 2011)

quick question. You go out on a date, she says she had a great time. During the week, she doesn't reply to your message for a day and a half, but then sends a message saying again that she had a great time and asking you how it's going.

From past experience, you have been burned by flakes a million times.

Do you reply, or do you finally, finally, dear, sweet merciful Jesus, finally learn from your mistakes and cut off flakers and non-repliers on the spot and spare yourself months of heartache and pain?


----------



## FadeToOne (Jan 27, 2011)

i simply asked for her email to send her something... :/


----------



## huh (Mar 19, 2007)

I've never been rejected because I only initiate when I know it's a sure thing, and even then I find it extremely difficult to initiate. I've only ever asked one person out.


----------



## RUFB2327 (Sep 28, 2008)

Don't know exactly how many times, but it's happened a good amount. I really don't even care anymore. You kinda just get used to it.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

I have been rejected at least 15 times in person. Online I have been rejected hundreds of times.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

I'm really taken back by the responses so far. When I first came to this site most of the people simply thought they weren't good enough. Nowadays it appears like people realize they probably could if they put forth enough effort. This is totally different than before. I may be wrong - just some observations. Maybe we have shifted our thinking?


----------



## Dear turtle (Sep 7, 2011)

I have a major fear of rejection, it's funny because even though the people in the past who I like showed signs of liking me, I was too chicken/embarrassed/awkward to flirt back therefore nothing happens...In fact as soon as someone shows signs of liking me I avoid them pretty much...
When it comes down to it I usually do the rejecting to be honest...


----------



## ThisGuy (Jul 13, 2010)

anthrotex said:


> All of the times.
> 
> Not literally. But yeah, I pretty much don't put myself out there much, and the times I have it didn't necessarily result in instant rejection, but over time either I lost interest or they lost interest or I did something to mess it up.
> 
> *But I keep on trying. I only consider it failure when you give up.*


Needs to be tattooed to my forehead... well, fore_arm_.


----------



## Blawnka (Dec 12, 2011)

I tried once in like 7th grade, it worked, haven't tried since, so I haven't been rejected. Too afraid to ask girls to do anything =/


----------



## SupaDupaFly (Sep 1, 2011)

Been so many times I been rejected that i lost count.=/


----------



## Class (Nov 6, 2011)

Zero.

Seeing as though I've never put myself "to offer," there's no rejection here.


----------

