# Guys, what do you look for most in girls?



## illlaymedown (Oct 6, 2009)

What attracts you to girls the most physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc? And what turns you off most? I know SA is keeping me back a lot, but man, I get so annoyed that it seems only guys I'd share no intellectual bond or attraction with tend to gravitate towards me....I don't consider myself ugly, so I assume dudes who look only at the outside appearance are showing interest while the ones I'd fit with are not so forward, if they like me at all. Sooooooo frustrating X-( I also have tattoos on my arms which I assume would make some guys dislike or judge me :/ The last few guys I've really liked have all but completely stopped talking to me even though they showed interest at first  I wonder if my SA pushed them away or if I'm just judged for other things as well....


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

Please, someone say the brawn of a cross between Schwarzenegger and Van Damme, with the insouciant femininity of lipstick on a ridiculous politician (is there any other kind).


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

****, I wrote a long reply to this thread then my net died when I submitted it and I lost it all.

To sum up, for me as long as I am physically attracted to them, they make me laugh and they are not highly religious with beliefs which severely contradict mine, then I would be willing to give it a chance.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

If they are physically attractive to me and not obnoxious or rude then I'll date them. As soon as I find something about them I don’t like it's hard for me to look past that for some reason. I probably need to work on that -- but then again, probably not. Just treat people the way you want to be treated.


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## Dempsey (Jun 27, 2009)

Not defensive and overly sensitive. Someone who can tolerate all the stupid crap I'm certain to say without getting uptight. How you look is probably just as important as how your personality is.
If a girl is attractive enough to turn me on, and has a good personality, then that's enough.

I've been attracted to dumber girls, to plain girls, to boring girls, all based on different things. There's no rule to follow.


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## glarmph (May 21, 2009)

Loyalty, honesty, pretty feet.


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## mind_games (Nov 30, 2008)

glarmph said:


> Loyalty, honesty, pretty feet.


In increasing or decreasing order of importance? :b


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

everyone has their own preferance but one thing that will turn me off, no matter how attracted i am to the person, is a substance abuse (including nicotine).



glarmph said:


> pretty feet.


 i hear you brother :clap


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

My arches are to die for. or they were. I sold them last xmas and got a fortune, they were that sexy, but i had to spend every last penny on candy for the office. ah well.


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## fma (Oct 26, 2009)

specially the smile, i don't know why... I like the cute smiles the most


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## N3XT2NON3 (Aug 10, 2009)

I like honesty, Intelligence, confident (not cocky) and a girl who can love my strengths AND weaknesses


as far as looks. cute overall, pretty eyes & smile. doesnt need a body like a top model. i'm attracted to short girls for some reason too lol


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## N3XT2NON3 (Aug 10, 2009)

glarmph said:


> Loyalty, honesty, pretty feet.


agree with all three lol

:clap


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## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

Physically speaking, long hair dark hair, girl next door look. Turned off by makeup and high fashion. This intimidates me. Body shape, not that particular (as long as not obese).

Emotionally speaking, calm, not hyper or dramatic.

Mentally speaking, an ability to think beyond shows like, "Sex And The City". 

Spiritually, some code of values they live by.

Personality wise, introverted. Feminine voice, the potential for maternal instincts.

Most importantly, someone whom I don't need to put up a macho he-man act around. Someone whom I can become personal with and not feel I'll be risking opening up.

This isn't carved in stone, in fact for the most part I'm happy if any living breathing girl talks to me at all; and given that a girl showed enough interest in me, I'd probably forget my ideal traits.


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

Physically - Short, cute face, eyes I could stare into all day, long hair, great butt.

Emotionally - Compassionate and empathetic to suffering, a kind demeanor, a strong moral code derived from internal values. Confident, but not arrogant.

Mentally - Intelligent, enjoys learning, gives deep thought to subjects while not taking them too seriously. Someone that could easily beat me in a game of chess, but be modest about it.

Spiritually - It's not terribly important, but I prefer someone non-religious. As long as you aren't throwing your beliefs in people's faces, and don't base your entire life around said beliefs, it's cool with me.

Basically, I'm attracted to the girl-next-door who stands up for herself and won't take **** from anybody.


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

illlaymedown said:


> What attracts you to girls the most physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc? And what turns you off most? I know SA is keeping me back a lot, but man, I get so annoyed that it seems only guys I'd share no intellectual bond or attraction with tend to gravitate towards me....I don't consider myself ugly, so I assume dudes who look only at the outside appearance are showing interest while the ones I'd fit with are not so forward, if they like me at all. Sooooooo frustrating X-( I also have tattoos on my arms which I assume would make some guys dislike or judge me :/ The last few guys I've really liked have all but completely stopped talking to me even though they showed interest at first  I wonder if my SA pushed them away or if I'm just judged for other things as well....


for the guys you really liked, how did you react to their advances? did you reciprocate interest? not just verbally, but with body language as well (and i don't mean sexually)?

if you didn't show enough that you liked them back then it's likely it could have been that reason that they lost interest - they may have perceived from lack of positive signals that you weren't that into them. i know it's easy to act that way even just subconsciously, since i was always so scared i'd naturally avoid showing that i liked someone, to avoid rejection or getting too close. thankfully i've gotten over it. i think it takes having even just a bit of confidence and getting yourself to believe they really like you back - enough to initiate things in order to keep it going.

it used to always bother me that in the past guys who weren't my type would only show interest in me. i was too scared to express that i liked someone so i just always had that assumption that anyone i am similar with and get along with would never like me back since i might not be their type. i'm not sure if this is the case for you, but i also often would like guys who were more quiet and shy which would make it even more difficult since i never knew if they liked me. i thought for sure i was doomed and just assumed it would never happen but thankfully that didn't end up being true.
so you should still have hope that it can work out with someone you like, since it can certainly happen. you just have to have a bit more motivation and confidence in yourself to take chances when you meet someone you think you'd get along with. it's possible that maybe most people don't share the same interests as you, which makes it harder to find someone so its also a matter of putting yourself in situations where you will meet guys who do. i see you are a christian, meeting people through church and even just christian sites seems like a good start. :yes

(oops, sorry i didn't really follow the rules of the thread since i'm not a guy and didn't answer your questions :b just felt like giving my $.02)


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

common interests, athleticism, smarts, humor, caring, good person, down to earth, relaxed, sarcasm, wittiness, must love dogs.


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## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

I gotta be attracted to them first then its just a matter of having some stuff in common and having a good sense of humor.I like shy girls too their cute.Oh and i hate people that always have to be right oh and they gotta have time for me, to talk and hangout and stuff.


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## KyleThomas (Jul 1, 2009)

illlaymedown said:


> What attracts you to girls the most physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc?


It varies from girl to girl. I couldn't really sum it up in a simple to apply formula. It's a case of I know it when I see it. But as I've only seen it three times in my life, perhaps I'm the wrong person to be answering this question. 



> And what turns you off most?


An unpleasant or annoying personality.



> I know SA is keeping me back a lot, but man, I get so annoyed that it seems only guys I'd share no intellectual bond or attraction with tend to gravitate towards me....I don't consider myself ugly, so I assume dudes who look only at the outside appearance are showing interest while the ones I'd fit with are not so forward, if they like me at all.


I'm not so sure about that. Just because you don't like the dudes who are showing an interest, doesn't mean that their interest is only in how you look...if that's what you're saying?



> Sooooooo frustrating X-( I also have tattoos on my arms which I assume would make some guys dislike or judge me :/


Yeah, some probably would, but not all. Probably not even most.



> The last few guys I've really liked have all but completely stopped talking to me even though they showed interest at first  I wonder if my SA pushed them away or if I'm just judged for other things as well....


It's most likely the SA, as I think it can often come across as disinterest.


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## rincewind (Sep 7, 2009)

illlaymedown said:


> What attracts you to girls the most physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc?


Physically: ...I don't really know, I certainly don't have a "type", although I do like blue eyes for some reason! Like drealm, I find girls who don't look like they spend hours on clothes and makeup far far more attractive than those who do. I often find my eye caught by girls walking down the street in an old hoodie and jeans looking like they just got out of bed, while I ignore the ones with makeup plastered on and not a hair out of place.

Emotionally: Honest, calm, reasonable, unlikely to get really upset over small problems. Someone I can completely relax around without feeling like I'm being tested constantly, and who would understand that sometimes it's OK not to be talking.

Mentally: Intelligent. At least some common interests. The lack of an obsession with celebrities and reality TV would be good.

Spiritually: Preferably non-religious, or if not then at least religious to a level that would only rarely affect a relationship.



illlaymedown said:


> And what turns you off most?


Stupidity. Frequent excessive drinking. Smoking. Drugs. Talking very loudly. Being extremely religious.



illlaymedown said:


> I also have tattoos on my arms which I assume would make some guys dislike or judge me


I'm not a fan of tattoos but I wouldn't judge someone because they had some, and I certainly wouldn't dislike them based solely on that!


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## duskyy (Oct 23, 2009)

shadowmask said:


> Physically - Short, cute face, eyes I could stare into all day, long hair, great butt.
> 
> Emotionally - Compassionate and empathetic to suffering, a kind demeanor, a strong moral code derived from internal values. Confident, but not arrogant.
> 
> ...


This... if you ever find this girl we are going to have a fight.:b


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## JMX (Feb 26, 2008)

Relationship-wise, I can't really tell you, because of the situation I'm in like a lot of people on these forums.

If I meet a girl for a first time, these are traits that I find attractive:

Physically: My standards are probably lower than most guys, so it's doesn't take much to get me attracted physically. I don't really like short hair, but I don't care much for the color (so long as it's not dyed in a ridiculous color). I don't like overweight girls, but I also don't really really skinny girls as well. I don't like it when they put a ton of makeup on; some of girls I find the most physically attractive hardly have any makeup on. When they talk to me, it makes me feel very happy inside when they smile. Nothing is more prettier than a girl's smile. (well ok, there may be exceptions, but usually this is how I feel)

Personality: This is where I'm very picky. I've caught some girls lying to me in the past, and I really hate that. Honesty is probably the most important trait a girl can have. I also like it when they joke around often, but maybe that's because they're compatible with me, since I'm kind of like that as well. I like it when they're talkative, and reflect on everything you say. In other words, not just nodding and say "yeah", "cool", but actually giving an opinion or something. It makes them more human. There are quite a few other qualities as well, but these stick out the most.

Unattractive qualities:
I hate girls that smoke. So disgusting. Also, I don't like it when they're so negative. Sure, it's ok to rant every once in a while, but I don't want to hear their stories when it's always negative. Yes, I'd like to get to know a girl, but there's a certain point when I don't want to hear every little detail of their life, and I'd rather have them get to know me. By her telling me everything about her, it seems like she's just very self-centered and isn't a people-person so to speak.

Again, there are more unattractive qualities I find in women, but these stick out the most.

Edit: a couple more things -- the girl doesn't have to be a genius, but she needs to have some intelligence. So often I'll talk to a girl, and the conversation goes nowhere because she doesn't understand what I'm talking about. Also, I hate hearing about drama. I don't care what somebody said about somebody else. I don't want to hear about it, because I don't find it constructive at all. Probably one of the biggest turn-offs for me.


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## ivankaramazov (Aug 22, 2009)

I love tats and piercings on girls, makes them look less like my mother.


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

I think probably the boy next store. Someone who looks like they want to go hiking or biking, but they are just coming to class. I love brown hair and any colour eyes. I like it when a guy eats healthy (muffins with anti-oxidant blueberries in them).

Kindness is a huge quality for me and respect for feelings. He must enjoy public displays of affection like holding hands. I mostly like cuddling in private.

I think probably the boy next store. Someone who looks like they want to go hiking or biking, but they are just coming to class.

http://www.columbia.com/mens-full-zip-fleece/men-fleece-fullzip,default,sc.html?sz=1&start=0

http://www.rei.com/product/746563

http://www.columbia.com/mens-hats/men-accessories-hatsHeadwear,default,sc.html?sz=1&start=12

http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=51845&vid=1&pid=699303&scid=699303022

I like Cargo pants on guys or jeans.

http://www.bootlegger.com/mens/jeans/mark-dirt-tint/prod9255MARKDIRTTINT.html

I love brown hair and any colour eyes. I like it when a guy eats healthy (muffins with anti-oxidant blueberries in them). I always look to see what people are buying or eating. I am like yum! apples.

Kindness is a huge quality for me and respect for feelings. 
He must enjoy public displays of affection like holding hands. I mostly like cuddling in private.

A good listener. If I tell someone I am allergic to chocolates they don't buy me these for Vday. (I really am) Someone who remembers to get me a card for my birthday. I don't need anything else, but I love cards.

turnoffs: manipulation, guilt-trips, verbal putdowns, yelling at me with hatred.


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## zomgz (Aug 17, 2009)

aww i don't judge or dislike you for having tattoos, it think they're awesome!! i like commenting on peoples tats =]

anyway! i look for niceness first =) then comes a fun, unique, and different personality  then an open mind, because closed minded people i don't get a long with at all! lol!! xD

turnoffs are probably:
screaming a lot
overly dramatic over tiny little things.. i'm kind of a laid back person anything goes lets have fun kinda person lol, so the over dramatic people that nit pick annoy me ><

hmm yup!


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

JMX said:


> In other words, not just nodding and say "yeah", "cool", but actually giving an opinion or something. It makes them more human.


I guess you wouldn't be able to get with a girl that had SA. When someone first meets me, that's usually what I end up doing for awhile. ^ Which doesn't promote my true personality, in reality I'm very opinionated, but unfortunantely it takes awhile to get comfortable with the person enough to express my true thoughts.


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## illlaymedown (Oct 6, 2009)

Ok...wow, umm, where to start. I am on mobile & only get so much space to write stuff so I'll just refer to what some have said rather than quoting everyone. I have 3 tattoos on my arms & I love them except one(was 18 and it was free). I have my eyebrow pierced like Amy Lee had at one time but the opposite eye. I dress dark kind of but I wear jeans & t-shirts a lot & I wear color as well, just mainly black, purple, pink(with others), red, & such. I have a pretty unique fashion sense. People have told me they admired me for being myself & such though I'm not sure what to think of that :/ I wear make-up, but I have a slight case, not really bad though, of acne & it makes me very self-conscious knowing even one little pimple could be seen. I don't wear a ton of make-up, I hate it when girls look like they are wearing a mask :yes I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. I had an extremely rough childhood & a really sucky family & I learned from a young age these things were not for me. I am still a virgin by choice. I had a bf before who was not a Christian which I am & it only caused trouble, but that was mainly cus he couldn't keep his mouth shut about his obvious hate for God & NOT because of me forcing my beliefs on him, I never once tried to force my beliefs on him & he even said that was something he liked about me, but after having had that relationship, I really only want someone who is a Christian as well. He also said he liked that I didn't try to pretend to be what I'm not. Like I'd admit to things I liked even if nobody else liked them. I am extremely stubborn. If I come to a conclusion about something & I feel strongly about it, I'm not likely to change my mind to please anyone. I go to a wonderful church that is very accepting thankfully, but haven't met anyone I'd have a connection with really. One guy I did like that kinda fell off the planet after we "talked" a bit in a romantic sense, I met there. I'm not girly, yet I am at the same time...& I'm almost out of space so I'll post another after this


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

desperate


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## Iced Soul (Jan 28, 2009)

flyingspatula said:


> ... one that would even attempt trying to talk/waste their time with me ...


Awww, don't feel that way. I'm sure there are plenty of girls who would want to talk to you. I'm not sure why they don't already.


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## illlaymedown (Oct 6, 2009)

(continued from the last)I am at the same time in love with video games and I enjoy taking broken stuff apart and fixing it. I would prefer a guy buy me a game rather than diamonds(so useless). Shows he knows me :yes I look a bit younger than my age :/ and I don't know what constitutes short...I'm 5'6", I wish I were taller though  People don't get near my feet, or they die :lol for serious, very ticklish...I'll kick you...really...hard :lol My eyes are awesome and green is way cooler than blue  I get the most/weirdest compliments on my teeth/smile. I get told I'm pretty quite a bit and it weirds me out a little. I over analyze it. Like one woman came up to me and said I was so pretty and I started thinking "what did she REALLY mean by that? What's pretty about me?"and so on, but I've gotten better with that. I now just say thank you and don't question it. I very much dislike dogs, so I'm out on that one...I'm a cat lover :yes Actually with the last guy I pushed myself to be more open and active. I even played tennis with him and I REALLY did NOT want to at all. I think maybe I was too open. Also, I am not that interesting in that I don't go out much or hang with a group of friends often. Also, like I said, my family is pretty terrible. I think I get judged by them sometimes and I'm nothing like them which is quite depressing.
Also, I think tattoos are beautiful on girls as well as hot on guys :yes


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## JMX (Feb 26, 2008)

Homersxchild said:


> I guess you wouldn't be able to get with a girl that had SA. When someone first meets me, that's usually what I end up doing for awhile. ^ Which doesn't promote my true personality, in reality I'm very opinionated, but unfortunantely it takes awhile to get comfortable with the person enough to express my true thoughts.


That is unfortunate, but I'm sure it's something you can work on. I try not to do that with people I've never met before, because I worry that they'll quickly realize that I'm a boring person. I try to give some reaction other than "yeah" because it's too generic. Sometimes I'll ask the person to repeat themselves so I can come up with something or pull off a joke. I don't think it can be too hard, so long as you don't get personal with the person too quickly.


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## LostPancake (Apr 8, 2009)

depression, low self-esteem, interesting 'issues', ability to converse about those issues. 

mostly because with any other person i have a hard time opening up to them, and then the relationship is just pointless.


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## hypestyle (Nov 12, 2003)

turnons?- kindness, tolerance, good listener, spacy sense of humor, eccentric dresser, someone who's into comix/sci-fi/horror/vid-game stuff, sports, outdoorsy..

turnoffs?- unkindness, easily riled/confrontational, generally impatient, socially intolerant (i.e., easily put off by 'foreigners', LGBTs, geeks, etc.), intellectually uncurious, religious fundamentalism..


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

I like intelligent, well-educated women first and foremost. If she can't wax philosophical or understand anything more complex that "So You Think You Can Dance," it's a deal-breaker. I don't like anyone who buys into pop culture so easily, anyone who like Brittany Spears or any of those mainstream pre-packaged crap. A good sense of humor is also good. Of course, these are generally the kind of people that I can enjoy talking to.

I like thin women. Generally, if they're thinner than I am, she's good (which is bad, since I'm pretty skinny, but I've been gaining weight and finding that my preferences have expanded accordingly). Of course, good skin is always good, too.

I don't like women who are confident and outgoing enough to be the center of every conversation, but I also don't like women that are so shy that they can't talk to anyone. I like women that are a shy enough that they have humility.


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## Ununderstood (Jun 8, 2005)

Physically - Short or tall it doesnt matter, gotta have at least a butt..not a big one or anything just a butt. Chest size does not matter, skin color does not either, tattoos/glasses/piercings/scars and what not don't matter. Gotta have nice hair though, thats a must. A physique that is not overweight and shows that atleast she doesn't eat cheeseburgers all day every day....oh and if they have nice feet and legs I am in heaven. Forgot one thing, gotta be at least in a 4 or 5 in facial appearance. I consider myself a 4 out of 10 so I gotta stay at my level or go up one higher. If shes a 9 or something it wont make a a huge difference from someone who is a 4 like me.

Emotionally - Intimately and relationship talk wise I like strict women, women who will make their man sleep outside if they screw up. Someone who is understanding and sometimes compassionate when the time is right for it but won't take any bs.

Mentally - If she is intelligent even better. Someone who knows whats up with things happening around her. Someone down to earth, a girl that can chill with the boys and say and do stupid stuff from time to time. If she either smokes pot or drinks then great if she does none then oh well..if she does both then what else would I want?

Spiritually - Preferably someone who is not raised on religious beliefs and does not completely abide by them in everything they do. If they have a religion, at least respect the fact that I have no relation with religion at all.

Turn Off: Girls who are ****ty or dress like strippers in public (save that for me only), girls who are obnoxious, girls who are really loud and excessively annoying. Girls who are just flat out dumb and clueless about who they are or the world they are living in...that is probably the biggest one.


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## Dane (Jul 27, 2009)

illlaymedown said:


> What attracts you to girls the most physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc? And what turns you off most? I know SA is keeping me back a lot, but man, I get so annoyed that it seems only guys I'd share no intellectual bond or attraction with tend to gravitate towards me....I don't consider myself ugly, so I assume dudes who look only at the outside appearance are showing interest while the ones I'd fit with are not so forward, if they like me at all. Sooooooo frustrating X-( I also have tattoos on my arms which I assume would make some guys dislike or judge me :/ The last few guys I've really liked have all but completely stopped talking to me even though they showed interest at first  I wonder if my SA pushed them away or if I'm just judged for other things as well....


Physically I don't really have a type. Just someone reasonably pretty and in good shape. Contrary to what some other guys have posted I like girls who are moderately into clothes and makeup; (not the type who has to dress up/put on makeup every day). Tatoos and piercings are cool as long as they're tastefull and not overdone.

Emotionally I like girls who are affectionate and love deeply, but are also calm and reasonable.

I like girls who are as intelligent as I am, and who share many of my tastes and interests with enough differences to make things interesting.

Spiritually, girls who have a strong moral code - don't lie, steal, or hurt people in any way, are sympathetic and kind. Philosophical and at least semi-religious, like I am.

Turn offs: meanness; strident obsession with any ideology, whether religious, political or otherwise; dishonesty; hysterics; non-stop talking, a lot more I can't think of right now 

This is an interesting thread.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

In terms of looks, I like the 'Karen O' style, (but perhaps not some of her more outrageous outfits.. :lol) Also nerdy with glasses= big turn on. Dark hair, eyes and light to pale skin. Usually however it's really hard for me to pinpoint a bunch of physical features that i like, since i have been attarcted to girls with all different qualities in the past.

As for personality, non judgemental and easy going. Openminded and highly reasonable (of course this usually involves some intellect and reasoning skills) I hate girls that are uptight, who persistently obstinate, contradict themselves, overly superficial and rediculous about small things that don't really matter. A chick with priorities and some goals is a bonus, but not essential to me. I need a girl who I can talk to about whatever, and she talks to me back instead of just sitting there and expecting me to do all the work. That's not my definition of compromise or reciprocation.

Also, chicks who are emotionally wacky or all over the place I find hard to deal with. It's not that i find it a turn off necessarily, but it's just i hate it when gals can't make up their minds i.e one day they love you the next day they couldn't care if you rot in a gutter.. yerrr, that sort of thing..


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## TheCanadian1 (Sep 14, 2009)

illlaymedown said:


> What attracts you to girls the most physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc? And what turns you off most? I know SA is keeping me back a lot, but man, I get so annoyed that it seems only guys I'd share no intellectual bond or attraction with tend to gravitate towards me....I don't consider myself ugly, so I assume dudes who look only at the outside appearance are showing interest while the ones I'd fit with are not so forward, if they like me at all. Sooooooo frustrating X-( I also have tattoos on my arms which I assume would make some guys dislike or judge me :/ The last few guys I've really liked have all but completely stopped talking to me even though they showed interest at first  I wonder if my SA pushed them away or if I'm just judged for other things as well....


*Physically - Their eyes above all else, second comes smile. I love freckles, and tattoo's. About the same height as me (5'6") and I'm not really into bigger girls, but I don't mind if they've got some weight to them. I'm a small guy, pictures can look awkward.

Emotionally - Someone who isn't going to constantly be needy but who enjoys spending time with me, a lot. I wouldn't want to be with someone who has to constantly complain about being depressed and down... She should be happy just to be with me.

Mentally - Someone who is a bit introvert like me. Who enjoys quiet environments and avoids the wild party life. I'd hope she would want to learn, not necessarily school but be interested in museums, art, historical sites, ect... (I want to travel)

Spiritually - Someone that is spiritual, but not religious. They'd need to view life as an experience to enjoy rather than rush. Perhaps she'd want to explore and understand life and spirituality.

*My biggest problem in finding a partner is finding someone who can relate to me... I hate society for the most part. I'm just a cynical person.
Everyone I meet is outgoing, loves people, has ambitions... I just want to enjoy life and find someone to share that enjoyment with.

I hate capitalism, and that's probably what scares people away the most. I just don't believe that money is as important as everyone makes it out to be. I find it frustrating that I'm going to have to work away the majority of my life simply to stay alive... It seems like such a waste.

I dunno, that's what I personally look for. Is that weird?? I can't seem to find anyone who's interested in being with me, it's a little frustrating and discouraging... I know she's out there... Just a matter of time, right?


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

illlaymedown -- my guess is it's your SA that's pushing guys away. This is my line of thinking:



nothing to fear said:


> if you didn't show enough that you liked them back then it's likely it could have been that reason that they lost interest - they may have perceived from lack of positive signals that you weren't that into them.


Your SA may cause you to send out mixed or bad signals, causing the guy to write you off as uninterested. Personally, it doesn't matter how much I'm into a girl - if I don't think she's interested, I don't hang around because 1) I don't want to waste my time, and 2) I don't want to harass her.

These types of guys are not the 'forward type' when it comes to expressing interest in a girl. They can be intimidated by girls they find attractive and so they shy away. In some cases you'd never guess the guy was interested, even though he may in reality be head over heels for you. They are the polar opposite of the guys who -are- coming onto you.

Show interest... Maintain eye contact and smile (those two are big), ask him personal questions (family, hobbies, goals, etc), go out of your way to talk to him (eg. if you spot him alone, go to him and say hi, ask him how it's going, etc), use light physical contact, show him your sense of humour (sarcasm is good for flirting)... Things like that...

I'd also suggest, after talking to him some, taking the initiative in asking him out because he very well may not do it. See if he wants to join you for a coffee or lunch or something else small. And be specific. Have a date and time in mind (as opposed to "let's hang out some time" which is pretty useless).

Oh and tell him you're into video games. That alone will win over some guys and get them to open up a little bit more


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

I like girls with a unique style. Something that makes them stand out from everyone else, but isn't so far out there that they look like a freak. Nothing is worse than the plain jane look where it seems they just rolled out of bed and grabbed the first ratty looking T-shirt they saw and put it on.

I love piercings but not tatts. Although it wouldn't always be a deal breaker. It just kind of depends on the type of tats, where they are, and overall how they look.

Personaltiy, I like a girl with a soft and sweet personality. I wouldn't want to date a girl that has a Myspace bio that reads like the typical angsty teen on there. You know the type I'm talking about...the "I don't give an eff what you think about me...most people think I'm a b1tch but I'm really nice...I don't take crap from no one, and I hate drama, etc.":lol


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## Tangent (Jul 1, 2009)

In answer to the title/first post:

Primarily I look for a sense of humour...as for turn-offs, smoking is probably the worst one I can think of off the top of my head that I would apply generally.


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## Mr. Frostie (Nov 2, 2008)

Like:
-clean, good hygiene
-youthful, feminine looks
-sexy voice
-shares similar values
-common interests
-bohemian, artsy, or unconventional
-skinny, packing a few extra pounds, tall, short, big breasts, small breasts, I like them all!

Dislike:
-BMI over 30
-rugged mountain woman looking girls
-tattoos and piercings
-wears pink clothing all the time with stuff printed on it like "bootilicious" and "drama queen" and "Ed Hardy"
-shaves eyebrows and paints on fake ones
-drinks too much, smoking, into illegal drugs
-****ty
-manipulative
-shallow and vain


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## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

I hardly speak to women, let alone have relationships with them, so I can only specify what interests me; whether girls with the qualities that interest me are actually good fits in practice remains to be seen. (In other words, I guess my preferences might shift around if I had experience with different types of girls.)

Finding the girl physically attractive is like sort of like a pass/fail thing in my mind. As long as I find her at least moderately attractive (which I'd say corresponds to what most would consider a "4" or "5"), then it all comes down to other factors. I've had crushes on probably close to a dozen girls over the course of my life, and I can't think of any who were incredibly, over-the-top attractive. All were out of my league, since I'm a 2 or 3 - but there've actually been a few who were only barely out of my league!

By far the biggest things I'm interested in personality-wise are modesty, introversion, and irreverence to what other people think (i.e., trying to "fit in"). Intellect and shared interests are not far behind. In the very rare case I come across a girl my age who actually fits the first set of personality criteria, I'm practically guaranteed to get feelings for her, as much as I usually don't want to.

However, going back to the disclaimer at the beginning of my post, I think it's quite likely that a major reason I look for the personality traits I do is because such girls are less intimidating and less likely to negatively judge someone like me. Realistically, I guess it's possible that somewhere in the back of my mind I find other types of girls interesting or attractive, but that's always overwhelmed by my insecurities and such. Just a guess, though - overall, I'm pretty sure I'll always be most attracted to the introverted, off-the-beaten-path type of gal who's "undervalued" by my peers (if that makes sense).


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## CarlitoBrigante (Oct 29, 2006)

anomalous said:


> By far the biggest things I'm interested in personality-wise are modesty, introversion, and irreverence to what other people think (i.e., trying to "fit in"). Intellect and shared interests are not far behind.


Pretty much spot-on with what I was going to say. Of course, physical attraction is a must, but this is probably an equal.


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## Lovesick Loner (Oct 19, 2009)

illlaymedown said:


> What attracts you to girls the most physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc? And what turns you off most? I know SA is keeping me back a lot, but man, I get so annoyed that it seems only guys I'd share no intellectual bond or attraction with tend to gravitate towards me....I don't consider myself ugly, so I assume dudes who look only at the outside appearance are showing interest while the ones I'd fit with are not so forward, if they like me at all. Sooooooo frustrating X-( I also have tattoos on my arms which I assume would make some guys dislike or judge me :/ The last few guys I've really liked have all but completely stopped talking to me even though they showed interest at first  I wonder if my SA pushed them away or if I'm just judged for other things as well....


The most important personality trait I look for in a girl is someone who's laid-back and low-key. I usually don't go for girls who are very bubbly and outgoing, although somehow my last girlfriend turned out to have those very traits. Some intelligence and humor is always good, too. Cliche, cliche, cliche...:roll

As for physical traits, I won't lie and say it doesn't matter. It does matter for most guys, but I'm not too terribly picky. I'm more attracted to a girl with a very pretty face over a girl with a really good body. A lot of times, the girls with the best-looking bodies are also the most shallow and self-centered.

Other things that are important to me is that a girl is very affectionate and attentive. Someone who acts like they don't want to spend much time with me is always a turnoff.


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## Daxter (Feb 4, 2009)

Cuteness, kindness, sympathy and cheerfulness are major turn-ons. 

But that's not enough, I suppose. I'd like a girl I could debate with about all facets of life. I'd like someone with a bit of intelligence. I'd like a girl who is cheerful, but not naive. Sense of humor is also cool.

Looks-wise, young, 'cute' looking is preferred. I don't care much for bodies, as long as they are a little curvy, and aren't obese or starved out. Who cares if you have a little belly, you can still be hot, girl...


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

Laid back, someone who is affectionate. Someone who is loyal and honest, someone who I can just spend a day in the park with instead of going out somewhere noisy like a club or bar or something. Cheery and cute, someone who can inspire me to become better. Someone who gets my stupid jokes, someone I can be goofy with. A girl who would want to travel and see the world, how other people live, to explore and learn... 

Forgot, someone who likes to cuddle...

:hide

 
420 friendly?  Maybe into video games? Don't quote this... *looks suspiciously at the person who will notice this text * (Mess with contrast, text appears, yay!)

But alas, it's not likely...

Turn offs: manipulation, being distant, silly games, shallow, etc


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## Iced Soul (Jan 28, 2009)

^ Noticed it. :b


This thread is so full of good tips.


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## illlaymedown (Oct 6, 2009)

*gasp* I noticed too 

Honestly with some of these qualities you guys mentioned I find it quite intriguing that I have been alone the majority of my life :yes Perhaps it's the stupid place I live in....there's not much worth seeing here....besides me of course :lol kidding


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## Daxter (Feb 4, 2009)

Now that you mention it, a girl into videogames would be hot.

But that is wishful thinking, innit. They exist but in incredibly small numbers.


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## Iced Soul (Jan 28, 2009)

There are plenty of girls into video games. 

Why do guys think they exist in such small numbers?


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## Daxter (Feb 4, 2009)

Iced Soul said:


> There are plenty of girls into video games.
> 
> Why do guys think they exist in such small numbers?


I've played plenty of online games and when I see a girl, it's an event.

Maybe they are too anonymous?


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## Iced Soul (Jan 28, 2009)

Probably.

I remembered when I played WoW (don't make fun of me people), I wouldn't tell people I was a girl because, otherwise, I would spend most of my time being hit on or followed or guys would kill things for me when I didn't want them to and they wouldn't stop. 

That can be incredibly annoying.


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

Daxter said:


> I've played plenty of online games and when I see a girl, it's an event.
> 
> Maybe they are too anonymous?


** I like cake **


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## illlaymedown (Oct 6, 2009)

Iced Soul said:


> Probably.
> 
> I remembered when I played WoW (don't make fun of me people), I wouldn't tell people I was a girl because, otherwise, I would spend most of my time being hit on or followed or guys would kill things for me when I didn't want them to and they wouldn't stop.
> 
> That can be incredibly annoying.


I know of lots of girls I've met even on this site that are gamers including myself :yes
God, I miss WoW sooooooo much  I did get flirted with quite a bit on there and the funny thing is they can't even see what you look like :lol
Haha...but free runs=so nice :lol


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## Iced Soul (Jan 28, 2009)

illlaymedown said:


> I know of lots of girls I've met even on this site that are gamers including myself :yes
> God, I miss WoW sooooooo much  I did get flirted with quite a bit on there and the funny thing is they can't even see what you look like :lol
> Haha...but free runs=so nice :lol


Yeah. I know so many girls from sites that are gamers, it blows my mind when guys think gamer girls don't exist or there are very few. 
Getting hit on was hilarious. Like this one guy followed me around for at least 30 minutes and I kept telling him to go away, just because it annoyed me being watched like that. Finally, he was like, 'you're cute, you got a boyfriend?' I kept thinking, '_my toon is cute, I guess, but you can't see *me*. Basically, you want to date my avatar. Plus, you just followed my toon around for 30 minutes. No._'
The free runs and loot was great, though. :b

I stick to playing my Need for Speed, on my DS, but WoW is always calling me back, especially since I was invited to this awesome guild. I hate that I don't have time to play video games like I used to.



XxArmyofOnexX said:


> It sucks when they get all paranoid, and you try to ask them something about the game (ie where a certain item is) and they're like STOP TALKING TO ME


Awww, it's just if you've had enough guys hitting on you in a game, you think every guy is going to do it. Sucks for guys who just want answers to questions or want to talk strategy.


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## Dempsey (Jun 27, 2009)

WoW is pretty much the only game that girls regularly play. It's not a good example.


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## illlaymedown (Oct 6, 2009)

Dempsey said:


> WoW is pretty much the only game that girls regularly play. It's not a good example.


From what I gather she was not using it as an example that girls played games, but an example of why girls would want to remain anonymous while playing games...
And I play way more regular games than online regularly...I've played tons of games and intend on continuing til I just can't anymore due to death or maybe arthritis...not sure that'd stop me either. So, girls play other games regularly too... :yes I even have a tattoo from a game(Castlevania:Symphony of the Night) and plan to get more :lol Maybe there should be a girl's gamers group on here.


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

illlaymedown said:


> I even have a tattoo from a game(Castlevania:Symphony of the Night) and plan to get more :lol Maybe there should be a girl's gamers group on here.


Awesomeness!! What's the tat? C:SOTN is probably my favorite game ever.


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## illlaymedown (Oct 6, 2009)

shadowmask said:


> Awesomeness!! What's the tat? C:SOTN is probably my favorite game ever.


It's definately one of my favorite games, top 5 and I absolutely adore Alucard :yes It is my favorite Castlevania for sure! The tattoo is the castle in front of the moon with bats flying around on my upper right arm where it's circular. I kinda wanted it to fit that area and I thought that'd be cool. Maybe I'll get Alucard too. I want a FFVIII tattoo or an AFI one next though :yes


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## rumjungle (Feb 13, 2009)

Iced Soul said:


> Yeah. I know so many girls from sites that are gamers, it blows my mind when guys think gamer girls don't exist or there are very few.
> Getting hit on was hilarious. Like this one guy followed me around for at least 30 minutes and I kept telling him to go away, just because it annoyed me being watched like that. Finally, he was like, 'you're cute, you got a boyfriend?' I kept thinking, '_my toon is cute, I guess, but you can't see me. *Basically, you want to date my avatar.* Plus, you just followed my toon around for 30 minutes. No._'
> :b


Reminds me of this:





Also I play online multiplayer first person shooters...and female players are even rarer so I do know what it's like having guys flirt with you or just react if they find out.

Generally though I've managed to slip under the radar and only clan members are aware.


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## Iced Soul (Jan 28, 2009)

Dempsey said:


> WoW is pretty much the only game that girls regularly play. It's not a good example.





illlaymedown said:


> From what I gather she was not using it as an example that girls played games, but an example of why girls would want to remain anonymous while playing games...


^ This. I wasn't using it as an example of games girls play or that they play (I know a lot of girls play WoW, anyway), just an example why some girls will stay anonymous while playing a game. 
I play Final Fantasy, Need for Speed, Call of Duty (which I played twice while in Oklahoma and I loved it, have to remember to actually buy it, though, lol) Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, etc. I don't play them as often as I used to, though.



rumjungle said:


> Also I play online multiplayer first person shooters...and female players are even rarer so I do know what it's like having guys flirt with you or just react if they find out.
> 
> Generally though I've managed to slip under the radar and only clan members are aware.


I remember that song when it first came out. It reminded me of playing WoW so much. 
Oh, which game do you play? I wouldn't tell people, either. It's just too much bother sometimes.


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## rumjungle (Feb 13, 2009)

Iced Soul said:


> Oh, which game do you play? I wouldn't tell people, either. It's just too much bother sometimes.


On the pc I've played Counter-Strike 1.6 (from version 1.3 onwards), NVN 1&2, Morrowind, Oblivion, Stalker, Fallout 3, Doom series, Duke Nukem, Day of Defeat, Deus Ex II.

Isn't an exhaustive list of pc games and I used to play console games back in the day too.

The only first person shooter I've been playing on/off for the last few years is Battlefield 2 (mainly infantry only servers) but the hitboxes, rego and bugs are aggravating and I was much better at CS1.6. I've tried COD4 single player but had issues with punkbuster online, and have COD5 but heard it's pretty average online but okay as co-op for the zombie levels.

Female gamers definately exist but they tend to be more casual gamers rather than hardcore ones (that is the stereotype anyway and it's hard to say as most hardcore female gamers don't advertise themselves). I do use a mic in game but often get mistaken for a 14 yr old boy, plus you can only talk in squads (of up to 6 people) whereas talking over VOIP in CS meant the whole or at least half the server could hear you and speculate. I can probably count about 15 girls that I know/know of that also play BF2, some of them are admins for large gaming networks too.

Gah I'm a huge geek...:um

(Sorry for hijacking thread btw perhaps this warrants it's own topic?)

To get back on topic...the first thing I look for in a prospective partner...is a pulse, I assume most men check for that as well


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## illlaymedown (Oct 6, 2009)

rumjungle said:


> Female gamers definately exist but they tend to be more casual gamers rather than hardcore ones. I do use a mic in game but often get mistaken for a 14 yr old boy, plus you can only talk in squads (of up to 6 people) whereas talking over VOIP in CS meant the whole or at least half the server could hear you and speculate. I can probably count about 15 girls that I know/know of that also play BF2, some of them are admins for large gaming networks too.
> 
> Gah I'm a huge geek...:um
> 
> (Sorry for hijacking thread btw perhaps this warrants it's own topic?)


Really the only thing that's keeping me from gaming day in and out is the costs....I have zippo money  Stupid SA job related fears! I prefer console over online though. I have like maybe 50 console games and I played more that I didn't own.
Sounds like a nice topic idea to me....


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

anyone have xbox live?


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## illlaymedown (Oct 6, 2009)

^ Playstation is my "happy place"  :lol


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## Pialicious88 (Sep 23, 2009)

a found it hysterical how some men doubt there are women who like videogames wtf i started playing FPS's when i was 11, but i've never seen myself as a girl tho


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## Pialicious88 (Sep 23, 2009)

flyingspatula said:


> * hasn't touched PS3 in a month*


that's cuz u turnin into a girl, where yo ballz at


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## illlaymedown (Oct 6, 2009)

flyingspatula said:


> * hasn't touched PS3 in a month*


I'll take it :lol


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## brokensaint (Aug 27, 2009)

Someone who is half-decent looking, uninterested in "he said, she said" and relaxed.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Physically I have to say I like curves. I don't mean she has to have large breasts or a big booty but rather that she has that woman figure. You can see this in women of various sizes whether quite slim or with a few extra pounds.Make up that highlights but doesn't paint her face is preferred. A nice heartwarming smile is great too, it's very reassuring. I also like long hair, often dark brown but of course there are exceptions(to all of this)

Emotionally I think a bit of depression is a good thing, not because I want her to be sad but because I like to be a helper & if it's something I could help her with it's a great way to bond, making her feel better about herself.

I prefer gals to be a bit more definitive mentally as a constant changing of the mind is very hard to take. I'm a stubborn guy who can have to learn the hard way so a gal who is confident in what she knows/says that could sway me to proper knowledge when my being stubborn comes up is a positive for sure.

I prefer spirituality over religiousness in something like a 7:3 ratio so that she has some roots to feed from but isn't going to preach but rather mention something for me to consider

I've been single for ages so this is all very approximate but it's what comes to mind at the moment. As far as turn offs go, intense superficiality, overly messy, & smokers come to mind.


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## illlaymedown (Oct 6, 2009)

^ Your screen name = The Nightmare Before Christmas :yes <3 (great movie)
I made a thread about girl gamers if you guys wanna chime in on that one  (guys are welcomed to discuss too)The more the merrier.

Thanks guy who said I was attractive, artistic and not to worry  appreciate it...Saw it on my email, but I guess you took it down :/


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## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)

Dempsey said:


> WoW is pretty much the only game that girls regularly play. It's not a good example.


I used to play zelda LOL


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## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)

Maybe they thought you weren't interested in them since you're shy.


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## knuckles17 (Jun 27, 2009)

a calm funny down to earth person with a funny personality!


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

illlaymedown said:


> I made a thread about girl gamers if you guys wanna chime in on that one


Where is this magical thread?


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## Unlikely hero (Jan 20, 2009)

Everything that my beautiful girlfriend jules is<3


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## cmed (Oct 17, 2009)

It's the qualities/morals & values a girl has that are more important]


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## illlaymedown (Oct 6, 2009)

XxArmyofOnexX said:


> Where is this magical thread?


General Discussion, I believe is where I put it :/ Called "Girls who Game "


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## lde22 (Oct 19, 2009)

looks are the first thing that I (and I assume most guys) notice and are attracted to. They aren't necessarily the biggest factor but they are a big factor. I read somewhere about the 80/20 rule where guys attraction are based 80% on looks and 20% on personality, and girls attraction are based 20% on looks and 80% on personality.

Intelligence is very attractive to me, dumb ditsy girls I wouldn't mind sleeping with but I would'nt date them.


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