# Anyone 30+ living with parents?



## ShyViolet

I'm 31 and still live at home. I don't see that changing any time soon. I couldn't move out even if I wanted to. I'm poor. 

Anyone else in the same boat?


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## anonymid

Same here.


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## zookeeper

It's a tough thing. I lived with my mom until a few years ago.

I'm still worried that at any moment I'm going to have to quit my job (or get fired) because I can't deal any more and end up right back there (not that there's anything wrong with my mom, but you know...).


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## Catherine Cavatica

ShyViolet said:


> I'm 31 and still live at home. I don't see that changing any time soon. I couldn't move out even if I wanted to. I'm poor.
> 
> Anyone else in the same boat?


I'm 33 and still live with my parents:roll
It is ok most of the time but I know I'll have to move out
eventually and it scares me to death!!!:afr:afr:afr


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## Glue

They say that 30 is the new 20, so I think you're okay.

I'm not 30, but I lost my job and I'll have to move back home if I can't find a job soon. It is tough.


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## S.T.A.T.

31 but hope to change the situation within 1 year. I am job hunting but nothing. In the mean time I am helping care for my granny.


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## estse

Yes, I have money, but no motivation to live and die.


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## Derekgnr

Yup.


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## ambergris

My mother walked out a few years ago so now it's me, my sister and my dad. Except my dad spends most of his time at his girlfriend's house, and only really comes back to sleep. So basically I moved back in with my parents and they moved out, lol.


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## VagueResemblance

Here. 34 years old. Moved back in when I lost my last job and emptied savings.


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## SHYGIRLAJB

Hands up, I still live at home with my parents and my man. Can't afford to move out.


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## DeeperUnderstanding

I am approaching 30, and still live at home. I don't see that changing anytime soon.


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## SaigeJones

What are you guys going to do when your parents pass away? If you are in your late twenties or early thirties it is safe to assume your parents are probably in the 50-60 age range. That is the age range where health can easily decline and/or death could occur through natural causes.


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## velocicaur

I'm making major changes in my life to make sure this doesn't happen/continue to happen to me. Not that there is anything wrong with living with your parents, but as we look at the responses, it appears that we all would rather be living alone if we had the means.

I used to laugh when I was 20 at the thought that I would be living at home at 25. It was like a nightmare situation. There was no chance in hell I'd still be home 5 years from now. Well, 25 rolled on by and I was still at home. Not only was I 25, but I was in worse shape financially, anxiety was worse, etc. 

It finally struck me that I had to make major life changes in order to change my ways. I could no longer laugh at my situation. It was real; I knew without changes I would be living at home forever.

It's not like I can change overnight. I've been working on it for about 2 years now, and I have 2 years to go before I plan to move out. However, I can see the end in sight now which is a good feeling.


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## Fenren

Plenty of even non-SA people 30 - 35 or sometimes older still live at home here. With the fragile economy, low wages and high cost of living it's only got worse. Plus people getting divorced and having no where else to go if they haven't much money.

I'm still with at my dads house and wish I wasn't, It's embarrassing to admit even to a forum of strangers. Anyway I've always paid rent/keep since I was old enough to work. Even when unemployed which I have been since my last company got shut down. 
Getting a new job soon though hopefully, be around £7.50 an hour, at least it's better than the £6.00 I was getting on agency.

It'd be near impossible to pay rent, plus bills and food plus run a car which I'll need to keep to get to the where the work is located. Bare essentials only. Most of my old friends only could afford to move out when they got a girlfriend and then got a place together with her working too. I can't see that happening for me now, less chance than ever actually!



SaigeJones said:


> What are you guys going to do when your parents pass away? If you are in your late twenties or early thirties it is safe to assume your parents are probably in the 50-60 age range. That is the age range where health can easily decline and/or death could occur through natural causes.


They've pre-paid for funeral expenses, I just need to make the call to arrange it. I'd manage alone there, but hopefully I'll be moved out elsewhere before one or both has gone.


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## Kon

When you think about it, this modern need to not live with parents/family is strange. What's so bad about living with family? I'm sure our hunting and gathering ancestors lived like that. In some areas of the world they still do.


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## VagueResemblance

Kon said:


> When you think about it, this modern need to not live with parents/family is strange. What's so bad about living with family? I'm sure our hunting and gathering ancestors lived like that. In some areas of the world they still do.


Living in a house with multiple generations is very normal in other parts of the world. I grew up living with my parents and grandparents. It's the American culture that brands one a loser when they do such a thing.


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## Kon

VagueResemblance said:


> Living in a house with multiple generations is very normal in other parts of the world. I grew up living with my parents and grandparents. It's the American culture that brands one a loser when they do such a thing.


I agree. I find it more strange and anxiety-provoking being forced to live, talk or work with people I hardly know who aren't family.


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## CeilingStarer

I agree with the notion that the West has it backwards. I wouldn't even mind living at home if my folks had a farm, or small business that I could help out with, and they were fine with that. However, when you're constantly being judged and told to "get out there", "get a better job" blahblah, home is about the worst place to live.

Humans have lived in supportive family communities for pretty much 99% of their existence it appears. It just seems to go against everything natural by becoming "independent" and blowing off your folks. Much like putting your children in day care, because you're too busy working for the man to raise them... or putting grandma in a nursing home. I think it's a ****ed, isolated culture really.


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## VanDamMan

Not an option for me. 

I think it is a smart thing though to live with them until you save enough for a down payment on some property.


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## Conquistador954

I'm not but it looks like I will be again soon.
*sigh*


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## GermanHermit

I'm 40 and moved back into my mother's home some years ago after having lived on my own for 10 years.

We were both sick and tired of living on our own.

We both benefit from it.

We basically live like an old couple now. She's the housewife and I'm the breadwinner.

And on weekends we rant about today's society and enjoy being on our own.

Could stay like this forever.


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## EagerMinnow84

A lot of people are moving back home or never left because they could never afford it. I am 27 and I live with my mom. We always got along very well. I don't have a mother who pays my rent or buys me a condo (I used to know people that fit in both of those categories).


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## bunnie

Will be 30 in a year. I understand that the economy sucks right now, but this is ri-damn-diculous.

I'm not the most skilled person out here, but I do have a B.S. in Accounting and a easygoing attitude. Is a $25K job too much to ask for?! I would even settle for 20K.

I've never lived on my own, but I would like to hurry up and do so. It is really taking a toll on my self-esteem.:rain


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## victoriangirl

I not only live with my parents, but I also support them together with my older sister. (=rent+insurance+all bills+groceries) I would move out if my parents owned a home + had a decent income, but that won't be changing unless we win the lottery. So I suppose I will always have to work in order to support my folks. And I cannot move out either, since I would not be able to afford 2 households. 

I love them a lot and I had a great childhood and was never deprived of anything, but I wish they had saved money for a house when I was small so I would not be in this dead-end place in my life in my 30's.


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## Night Fury

Yes, 32 and living with my mother. I have my own place though if I ever decide to move out.


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## hmnut

I'm 32 and living at home, but this is because I can't afford to move out. I have a job interview for a job in a little over a week that if I get it I should be able to get my own place, but every time I have come close to moving out something has happened that has sucked me back in. 

Think George Bailey from it's a wonderful life, except I didn't marry a hottie wife nor do I have any angels saying the world is better because I am in it.

I would have killed myself at 27 except I know it would hurt my mom too much.


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## gaz

This makes me feel so much better. I'm 30 and i have never moved from home. I work full time yet i still live with my parents, i think i have a mixture of a fear of not being able to stand on my two feet and the fear of being all alone. I hate it when people tease me for still being at home like ''your mummy does your washing!'' and things like that.

I get depressed at times about being in this situation because i don't feel like a grown up. I sometimes tell my parents how frustrated i am but they say they have no problem with me living at home. They won't even take money off me and i feel extremely guilty especially hearing other people talk about struggling with paying bills etc.


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## jtb3485

I live at home but I have a full time job so I could move out if I wanted to. It's just that if I wouldn't be able to afford my own place and would have to get a roommate. I've lived on my own and with roommates before and my dad is probably a better roommate than anyone else I could find. Plus I'm saving lots of money by not paying rent. When my dad retires is when I'll probably move out.


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## 2Talkative

I will be still at home by 30. I have thought about renting but it's just not for me I want(ed) to buy an apartment. I put together a budget that is feasible but it's tight real tight would pretty much be house poor basically pay bills and stay home living on oatmeal and cat food(tuna) and pray no big bills come up and nothing goes wrong YA...


Gaz I get teased about it too .. I hate being branded a loser just because I can't afford to own a place. Not everyone can afford it... I don't think many of us with anxiety end up getting real decent paying jobs anyways.


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## UltraShy

VagueResemblance said:


> Living in a house with multiple generations is very normal in other parts of the world. I grew up living with my parents and grandparents. It's the American culture that brands one a loser when they do such a thing.


Many Americans in my experience have a very twisted idea of what "living at home" means. Back when I actually bothered to meet 'normal' women through personal ads in the last century, they'd be shocked by the concept of someone who's 25 living at home. (I'm now 38, so saying "I live at home" would send most women running away at record-setting speed.)

Many take living at home to mean mommy serves me breakfast in bed, a bed upon which she's laid out my clothes which she surely must have washed. And a bed which is in a real tidy room that she cleans.:roll

Yeah, right. Here's reality: I've washed my own laundry since age 11, if any cleaning gets done it's going to be done by me, and I'd starve to death if I waited for somebody to prepare my meals.

"Living at home" is taken by many to mean you're some naive low-IQ child.


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## erasercrumbs

Living on your own isn't so bad if you have a social life. But if you don't really have anyone to talk to once you get home, living with a parent or parents is much better. 

My dad and I live in the same house (like Sanford and Son). It's better than being alone all the time.


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## gaz

2Talkative said:


> I will be still at home by 30. I have thought about renting but it's just not for me I want(ed) to buy an apartment. I put together a budget that is feasible but it's tight real tight would pretty much be house poor basically pay bills and stay home living on oatmeal and cat food(tuna) and pray no big bills come up and nothing goes wrong YA...
> 
> Gaz I get teased about it too .. I hate being branded a loser just because I can't afford to own a place. Not everyone can afford it... I don't think many of us with anxiety end up getting real decent paying jobs anyways.


I worry that people think i am merely being lazy but i am perfectly capable of doing things just that my mother insists on doing evverything. The embarassing thing is that i have just brought a 3 year old car and most people i know can't afford such a new car because they have bills and stuff to pay.


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## gaz

erasercrumbs said:


> Living on your own isn't so bad if you have a social life. But if you don't really have anyone to talk to once you get home, living with a parent or parents is much better.
> 
> My dad and I live in the same house (like Sanford and Son). It's better than being alone all the time.


Sometimes i don't talk to my parents much anyway because i am so depressed and just hide in my room or whatever.


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## Matt J

EremitaGermanus said:


> I'm 40 and moved back into my mother's home some years ago after having lived on my own for 10 years.
> 
> We were both sick and tired of living on our own.
> 
> We both benefit from it.
> 
> We basically live like an old couple now. She's the housewife and I'm the breadwinner.
> 
> And on weekends we rant about today's society and enjoy being on our own.
> 
> Could stay like this forever.


haha, oh I shouldnt be laughing, but that is kinda cool. Your like the Golden Girls, accept maybe not as sex obsessed?

I lived with one of my parents up until a few years ago, and its actually not bad. The reason so many do it is because financially, and even perhaps health wise you can be a lot better off, regular meals etc. As a single guy, there is a tendency to either rarely eat, or eat rubbish. If your cashed up, hey you can afford to take care of yourself.

In saying that I dont think I could live with them again long term...3 months max. My dream life consists of living on my own, with a long term girlfriend that can visit and stay whenever she wants, and leave for a while whenever I drive her temporarily insane.


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## gaz

^ I feel for you. I can honestly say that in ten years time when i'll be 40 i will be still in the same situation.

I worry too about losing my parents, i mean i have no one else other than my sister.


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## Positive

What does living at home have anything to do? There is nothing wrong w/ family, unless you have an issue. I'd rather live in a large estate w/ my family than to be squished struggling month to month by myself on some meaningless immature thinking.


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## Bloody Pit Of Horror

Positive said:


> What does living at home have anything to do? There is nothing wrong w/ family, unless you have an issue. I'd rather live in a large estate w/ my family than to be squished struggling month to month by myself on some meaningless immature thinking.


Who said anything about a large estate... I'd be so lucky... we're renters too.


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## Positive

GTK said:


> Who said anything about a large estate... I'd be so lucky... we're renters too.


My point is that the thinking of living w/ their parents is nothing wrong. Blood is thicker than water. Why would someone be shameful living under one roof w/ a big family?


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## Bloody Pit Of Horror

Positive said:


> My point is that the thinking of living w/ their parents is nothing wrong. Blood is thicker than water. Why would someone be shameful living under one roof w/ a big family?


Gotcha...


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## lissa530

29 living with my mom. Hopefully not forever but can't see it changing anytime soon.


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## Nichiren

ShyViolet said:


> I'm 31 and still live at home. I don't see that changing any time soon. I couldn't move out even if I wanted to. I'm poor.
> 
> Anyone else in the same boat?


Yes.
Since the cost for me to live in a decent neighborhood is cost prohibitive for me at my current income, i pay rent to my mother to live in the family house.

Was going to move out again because I got a promotion but then a few months later got a huge pay cut(instead of being laid off) so that plan was canceled.

And i get to work alone 85% of the time so my job is perfect for me except for the money.

Yes I have seen what some people say about adults living at home but who cares.
I'll probably be here for the duration.


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## Nichiren

SaigeJones said:


> What are you guys going to do when your parents pass away? If you are in your late twenties or early thirties it is safe to assume your parents are probably in the 50-60 age range. That is the age range where health can easily decline and/or death could occur through natural causes.


i will be okay.
Our family home is paid for and I already give mom enough to pay most of the bills here except for the insurance.
And i can manage that as well if anyting happened to her unless I lose this job.


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## Witan

bunnie said:


> I'm not the most skilled person out here, but *I do have a B.S. in Accounting* and a easygoing attitude. Is a $25K job too much to ask for?! I would even settle for 20K.


Wow. I was thinking of getting an AA in Accounting to improve my job prospects, but after reading this there's no way in hell I'm doing that now x_x.


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## komorikun

I've been living on my own since I was 20. I would probably still be living at home if the whole family/apartment situation hadn't become unbearable. My mom was sick for 5 years and soon after she died (when I was 17), my dad married the first woman he met. I don't entirely understand his thinking but because the house had gone down in value greatly (and my step-mom refused to pay half the rent of a 2 bedroom), he decided to get rid of the house and move us into my step-mother's one bedroom condo. That's right. Went from having my own room to sharing the living room with my little sister. 

I'm not sure what my life would be like right now if my dad had kept the house. I was a shut in from age 13-18 but did somehow manage to hack city college. Might have been a much quieter, calm life. I kind of doubt I would have ever had a job. I did resent losing my bedroom/eventually moving out and now (many years later...) I'm borrowing a lot in student loans to pay for rent. Perhaps it was for the best.

It is true that in most countries (including Japan and much of Latin America), people live with their parents till they either get married or go to university out of town. I think it's fine but I noticed many were truly coddled by their mother. Their moms did everything, all meals, laundry, even cleaned their bedroom. Was a little weird being on dates with guys and their mom would call at 2am asking what time they are coming home.... Also some couples spend a lot of money on love hotels cause they both live at home.


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## Futures

I'm 30 and I'll be here for at least another 2-3 years minimum. I've pretty much decided that I'm not going to move out until I have enough money saved to buy a condo flat out with no mortgage.

Jobs these days are far too unstable and I have a history of job struggles, so it seems foolish to take a chance on moving out and then losing my job again. Then I'd be royally screwed.

So I figure if I can get back to work shortly and keep the job, then in 2-3 more years, I'd officially have enough money saved to buy my own place and live comfortably.

In the meantime, it is hella embarrassing though.


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## SAgirl

In 36 months I want to move away. It's one of my biggest goals right now.


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## tot

Well im 43 and live with my dad and whats wrong with that i ask. I would feel like killing myself if i lived alone with noone to talk to. We do our own thing and he helps me with things i dont understand. The future does worry me tho as have noone else except my dad!


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## Ms_Spaz

I am 31 and still at home. I'm financially unable to put a down payment on a house at this point in my life. I would like (an hope to) eventually get my own modest house though.

I always wonder why people in North America are seen as "losers" if they live with their parents past college age, while in places like Italy and Japan, people live with their parents until they're married. Even the girl that cuts my hair who is Italian said it's not unusual in Italy for a family to buy a large house and the grandparents live on one floor, kids on another, and grandkids on yet another as one big multi-generational family. Even in my own family history, women that did not marry stayed with their parents as spinsters. So I really don't see what the big deal is.


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## bunnie

Witan said:


> Wow. I was thinking of getting an AA in Accounting to improve my job prospects, but after reading this there's no way in hell I'm doing that now x_x.


Oh don't let me scare you...lololol. I mean accounting is pretty boring and difficult (sooo much homework and reading) but you will probably excel at it! I graduated with a C average. Plus I never had an internship.....I think that is what is holding me back. I just wanted to get an in demand degree.

Also you live in a different area from me, so perhaps the job prospects are better there.:yes


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## Nick9075

Futures said:


> I'm 30 and I'll be here for at least another 2-3 years minimum. I've pretty much decided that I'm not going to move out until I have enough money saved to buy a condo flat out with no mortgage.
> 
> Jobs these days are far too unstable and I have a history of job struggles, so it seems foolish to take a chance on moving out and then losing my job again. Then I'd be royally screwed.
> 
> So I figure if I can get back to work shortly and keep the job, then in 2-3 more years, I'd officially have enough money saved to buy my own place and live comfortably.
> 
> In the meantime, it is hella embarrassing though.


Buying a home or any type of real estate for me is impossible since i have no job & very bad credit. I have about $300,000 in cash & investments but I see that only as living expenses for the next 3.5 years. Hopefully I can get some type of job in this period that I can keep longer than a week.
However, everyone from recruiters to temp agencies to job coaches all tell me that I am unemployable and I have no hope of finding any job every again so I figure I should just use this time to try to get disability allowance?

I do live on my own by myself in a 2 bedroom rental condo apt.. My expenses come close to $7,000 a month just for myself. I have no friends, don't go out anywhere, drive a 2009 Honda Civic with close to 30,000 miles... on it


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## Nick9075

bunnie said:


> Oh don't let me scare you...lololol. I mean accounting is pretty boring and difficult (sooo much homework and reading) but you will probably excel at it! I graduated with a C average. Plus I never had an internship.....I think that is what is holding me back. I just wanted to get an in demand degree.
> 
> Also you live in a different area from me, so perhaps the job prospects are better there.:yes


I have had many accounting jobs that I have gotten fired and several temp jobs that suddenly ended after the 1st or 2nd day with the excuse that "they didn't feel comfortable that I would be able to handle complex projects" or "I didn't pick up the work fast enough"


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## Nick9075

Ms_Spaz said:


> I am 31 and still at home. I'm financially unable to put a down payment on a house at this point in my life. I would like (an hope to) eventually get my own modest house though.
> 
> I always wonder why people in North America are seen as "losers" if they live with their parents past college age, while in places like Italy and Japan, people live with their parents until they're married. Even the girl that cuts my hair who is Italian said it's not unusual in Italy for a family to buy a large house and the grandparents live on one floor, kids on another, and grandkids on yet another as one big multi-generational family. Even in my own family history, women that did not marry stayed with their parents as spinsters. So I really don't see what the big deal is.


People are seen as losers if they don't have a linear corporate career history, if they don't own the latest material things & gadgets, if they don't look like an MTV reality TV star etc.. Being unemployed however is a scarlet letter. For me it seems like everyone knows it and avoids me -- like I wear that huge scarlet letter on my forehead.


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## Nichiren

Nick9075 said:


> People are seen as losers if they don't have a linear corporate career history, if they don't own the latest material things & gadgets, if they don't look like an MTV reality TV star etc.. Being unemployed however is a scarlet letter. For me it seems like everyone knows it and avoids me -- like I wear that huge scarlet letter on my forehead.


Pretty much.
One person had gotten so bad at talking about my clothes and my old car at work(they live in my neighborhood) I just finally spoke up and told them to if they wanted me to have anything new they could d--m well give me the money for it.
And I ran to the bathroom after that.
My boss knows my conditions so he just told them not to bother me.


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## SaigeJones

Nick9075 said:


> I do live on my own by myself in a 2 bedroom rental condo apt.. My expenses come close to $7,000 a month just for myself. I have no friends, don't go out anywhere, drive a 2009 Honda Civic with close to 30,000 miles... on it


7,000 a month? Do you have debt that you are paying off? That seems like an unreasonably high monthly expense for yourself.


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## Nick9075

SaigeJones said:


> 7,000 a month? Do you have debt that you are paying off? That seems like an unreasonably high monthly expense for yourself.


I live in eastern Massachusetts about 10 miles outside of Boston but the area is more blue collar/working class where rent is still $1620 a month plus all utilities. There are also other expenses that add up very quickly. I am not working so I have to buy my own health insurance at $280 a month and don't get any other type of discount like for gym membership or car insurance. It isn't as simple as cutting expenses because I can't. And no, I don't go out anywhere, never gone on a real vacation, don't really go out to eat.

I have money saved from investments to last about 3.5 years. As I have said in 2011 you need good credit & good income to do anything in the USA today. I would love to move to cheaper part of the country but with No income & bad credit plus high debt no landlord will rent to me even if I prepaid 12 months of rent or whatever the term of the lease is in advance.


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## millenniumman75

Right now, if you have a roof over your head, then that should be where you need to be at the moment.
I thought I heard today that absolutely ZERO jobs were created in August. That is disgusting! This economy is going nowhere fast. For those of us who do have a job, we are overloaded - we would like help, but companies are afraid to hire if they feel that they aren't going to be able to pay them. From what I heard, we are stuck in the mud and spinning our wheels. 

Save up while you can - when I was unemployed, I was living with my dad and look back, I don't regret it.


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## d3lusionkt

Witan said:


> Wow. I was thinking of getting an AA in Accounting to improve my job prospects, but after reading this there's no way in hell I'm doing that now x_x.


I got an associates in accounting and it has worked very well for me. Getting that first job is the hardest, but if you persevere you can get one. Accounting is a great route because EVERY company needs an accountant and you are free to go into any industry you want really. The pay can be low depending on how big a company you start out with and experience. But I found that you get better experience at a small one. You get paid better at larger ones. Some may find accounting boring, but if you enjoy problem solving and working with numbers it can be fun. I have been very satisfied in the jobs I've had. I'm now working on my CPA which will give better opportunities than my current degree.

I found this thread very interesting. I also am 31 and living at home. I've struggled with the same issues as many who wrote here. The money saved makes it difficult to move out. But it makes social conversations awkward sometimes because you can't relate as much. I have met people who had no shame in the fact they lived at home. I think its up to us to present our situation that way, and others will accept it. That being said, I plan on moving out soon. I feel it will give me a larger sense of independence, maturity, and confidence. I dont know if that is really true though or if I'm getting brainwashed by our culture... This thread has made me question that a bit. But it's been a dream of mine to have my own place so I think I am going to make that change. I may try to look for a better paying job first though to help justify the move... I don't know.


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## Nick9075

d3lusionkt said:


> I got an associates in accounting and it has worked very well for me. Getting that first job is the hardest, but if you persevere you can get one. Accounting is a great route because EVERY company needs an accountant and you are free to go into any industry you want really. The pay can be low depending on how big a company you start out with and experience. But I found that you get better experience at a small one. You get paid better at larger ones. Some may find accounting boring, but if you enjoy problem solving and working with numbers it can be fun. I have been very satisfied in the jobs I've had. I'm now working on my CPA which will give better opportunities than my current degree.
> 
> I found this thread very interesting. I also am 31 and living at home. I've struggled with the same issues as many who wrote here. The money saved makes it difficult to move out. But it makes social conversations awkward sometimes because you can't relate as much. I have met people who had no shame in the fact they lived at home. I think its up to us to present our situation that way, and others will accept it. That being said, I plan on moving out soon. I feel it will give me a larger sense of independence, maturity, and confidence. I dont know if that is really true though or if I'm getting brainwashed by our culture... This thread has made me question that a bit. But it's been a dream of mine to have my own place so I think I am going to make that change. I may try to look for a better paying job first though to help justify the move... I don't know.


I have a BA in Accounting & MS in Finance. I guess since I don't have a job, I am just unemployable right?? Too bad, I am blacklisted from most companies are now literally have to start at the very bottom. I am willing to take an accounting job paying $10 an hour but like I said, most recruiters have blacklisted me industry wide

I only have $300,000 and 3.5 years to do it..

{{Accounting is a great route because EVERY company needs an accountant and you are free to go into any industry you want really}}}

So how come companies want SPECIFIC experience in a SPECIFIC industry?? or are they just lying to me to cover up the "Real" reason why I can't get hired??


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## alte

I would really like to but can't because I found a job hundreds of miles from home. My parents may move in with me in a few years once they retire. I wouldn't mind at all and in fact it would be nice to have their company.


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## d3lusionkt

Nick9075 said:


> So how come companies want SPECIFIC experience in a SPECIFIC industry?? or are they just lying to me to cover up the "Real" reason why I can't get hired??





Nick9075 said:


> I have a BA in Accounting & MS in Finance. I guess since I don't have a job, I am just unemployable right?? *Too bad, I am blacklisted from most companies are now literally have to start at the very bottom. * I am willing to take an accounting job paying $10 an hour but like I said, *most recruiters have blacklisted me industry wide
> 
> I only *have $300,000 and 3.5 years to do it..
> 
> So how come companies want SPECIFIC experience in a SPECIFIC industry?? or are they just lying to me to cover up the "Real" reason why I can't get hired??


Sorry for your situation . 
I know it is frustrating to get a job in this economy. Just keep trying though, eventually you will get something. I know its easy to get frustrated and want to give up. Have you considered starting a bookkeeping business? I know at my company, every accountant they've hired, including the controller, didn't have experience in our industry. That's probably rare though, but I guess I'm just saying that it isn't an impossibility. I hope you are able to land something soon.


----------



## velocicaur

velocicaur said:


> I'm making major changes in my life to make sure this doesn't happen/continue to happen to me. Not that there is anything wrong with living with your parents, but as we look at the responses, it appears that we all would rather be living alone if we had the means.
> 
> I used to laugh when I was 20 at the thought that I would be living at home at 25. It was like a nightmare situation. There was no chance in hell I'd still be home 5 years from now. Well, 25 rolled on by and I was still at home. Not only was I 25, but I was in worse shape financially, anxiety was worse, etc.
> 
> It finally struck me that I had to make major life changes in order to change my ways. I could no longer laugh at my situation. It was real; I knew without changes I would be living at home forever.
> 
> It's not like I can change overnight. I've been working on it for about 2 years now, and I have 2 years to go before I plan to move out. However, I can see the end in sight now which is a good feeling.


Rofl, who am I kidding. I'll be in the basement yet.


----------



## Witan

velocicaur said:


> I'm making major changes in my life to make sure this doesn't happen/continue to happen to me. Not that there is anything wrong with living with your parents, but as we look at the responses, it appears that we all would rather be living alone if we had the means.
> 
> I used to laugh when I was 20 at the thought that I would be living at home at 25. It was like a nightmare situation. There was no chance in hell I'd still be home 5 years from now. Well, 25 rolled on by and I was still at home. Not only was I 25, but I was in worse shape financially, anxiety was worse, etc.
> 
> It finally struck me that I had to make major life changes in order to change my ways. I could no longer laugh at my situation. It was real; I knew without changes I would be living at home forever.
> 
> It's not like I can change overnight. I've been working on it for about 2 years now, and I have 2 years to go before I plan to move out. However, I can see the end in sight now which is a good feeling.





velocicaur said:


> Rofl, who am I kidding. I'll be in the basement yet.


You remind me of myself. Sometimes I'm optimistic, and then later I just think, "who the **** am I kidding".


----------



## 6OH2

bunnie said:


> Will be 30 in a year. I understand that the economy sucks right now, but this is ri-damn-diculous.
> 
> I'm not the most skilled person out here, but I do have a B.S. in Accounting and a easygoing attitude. Is a $25K job too much to ask for?! I would even settle for 20K.
> 
> I've never lived on my own, but I would like to hurry up and do so. It is really taking a toll on my self-esteem.:rain


I have a BS in Accounting too AND passed the CPA exam, lost my job with a public accounting firm months back and can't find anything now! I would think I'd be a little more marketable but I can't even secure an interview!! Seriously it is a horrible feeling knowing all struggles you went through (accounting is a difficult degree!) and not having some kind of reward for all that work!


----------



## 6OH2

Nick9075 said:


> I have a BA in Accounting & MS in Finance. I guess since I don't have a job, I am just unemployable right?? Too bad, I am blacklisted from most companies are now literally have to start at the very bottom. I am willing to take an accounting job paying $10 an hour but like I said, most recruiters have blacklisted me industry wide
> 
> I only have $300,000 and 3.5 years to do it..
> 
> {{Accounting is a great route because EVERY company needs an accountant and you are free to go into any industry you want really}}}
> 
> So how come companies want SPECIFIC experience in a SPECIFIC industry?? or are they just lying to me to cover up the "Real" reason why I can't get hired??


I have my BS in accounting too, and held 2 jobs since graduation. One in governmental accounting and one with a public accounting firm which I lost a few months back. I've been through all the recruiters and still get nothing as they tell me I don't have enough experience for the jobs they are currently filling. Well how am I going to get experience without working?! I'm starting to wonder if I'm blacklisted as well. It's frustrating as hell knowing how hard I worked to get to where I'm at, with all my student loans, and wondering how I'm going to pay them off. And the worst part about it is I had to move back in with my parents, when I was living on my own and paying my bills 10 years ago while working a job anybody with a high school education could do!!


----------



## ShyViolet

6OH2 said:


> I have my BS in accounting too, and held 2 jobs since graduation. One in governmental accounting and one with a public accounting firm which I lost a few months back. I've been through all the recruiters and still get nothing as they tell me I don't have enough experience for the jobs they are currently filling. Well how am I going to get experience without working?! I'm starting to wonder if I'm blacklisted as well. It's frustrating as hell knowing how hard I worked to get to where I'm at, with all my student loans, and wondering how I'm going to pay them off. And the worst part about it is I had to move back in with my parents, when I was living on my own and paying my bills 10 years ago while working a job anybody with a high school education could do!!


I have an accounting degree too, but I've never been able to get a job with it. I think it's hopeless now because I've been out of school for 9 years and my work history consists of temporary data entry jobs. Everywhere I send my resume I imagine it's immediately chucked in the garbage.


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## Divasmurf

well technically i guess you could say i live with my mama.I kicked out my previous roommate and invited mama to move in. I wish i could afford to live alone. I miss owning a house,i hate renting and dislike neighbors, they're always so inconsiderate and nosy.


----------



## 6OH2

ShyViolet said:


> I have an accounting degree too, but I've never been able to get a job with it. I think it's hopeless now because I've been out of school for 9 years and my work history consists of temporary data entry jobs. Everywhere I send my resume I imagine it's immediately chucked in the garbage.


I feel the exact same way. I graduated in December of 08, but my overall accounting work experience is less than a year. I have to think that employers see gaps in my resume and see that I'm now unemployed so just toss it in the shredder. Part of me regrets going to school because I'm not sure if I'll even be able to use my degree again!


----------



## bunnie

ShyViolet said:


> I have an accounting degree too, but I've never been able to get a job with it. I think it's hopeless now because I've been out of school for 9 years and my work history consists of temporary data entry jobs. Everywhere I send my resume I imagine it's immediately chucked in the garbage.


Me too! I've never had an accounting job. My only experience is in retail....I wish someone would give me a chance.


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## paulosmith8

I'm 35 still with parents can't afford ky own place


----------



## Nick9075

I got a temp job in NYC so that means I have to stay at my dad's apartment for the duration. It was the only job I could find. I am still paying rent & utilities on my apartment back in Massachusetts --- over $2,000 a month for an empty apartment and I am back with my dad in this tiny two bedroom apartment. 

Life cannot get any worse


----------



## falling down

If I could get a job that pays me enough to support myself and pay down or off my debts I would be out and would have been out of my parents home long ago providing I never had the serious ill timed illness that I had. Now I get to be at home and take verbal abuse about how much of a loser I am from my brother and parents. Feels f'n great to have your manhood questioned by your own mother.


----------



## persona non grata

Nick9075 said:


> I got a temp job in NYC so that means I have to stay at my dad's apartment for the duration. It was the only job I could find. I am still paying rent & utilities on my apartment back in Massachusetts --- over $2,000 a month for an empty apartment and I am back with my dad in this tiny two bedroom apartment.
> 
> Life cannot get any worse


Can you sublet?


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## PDXRyan

I'm 38, don't live with mom or dad but I've had the same roommates for over 5 years. They bought a house about 3 years ago and took me with them. Shoot, they even have a new baby. I take care of the house and they often cook me dinner. We all joke about how they are my parents. I mean I do pay $400 in rent and 1/3 of the bills but you know what I mean. The girl has been my best friend for about 7 years and she is really cool with my ups and down with the anxiety/depression/agoraphobia. It's a great situation but yeah, I know I need to move away at some point but I can't afford anything on my own unless it has wheels under it. Only lived completely on my own for 6 months about 11 years ago. It was kinda nice but pretty lonely for sure. I was also in a new city so that made it even more lonely. With school ending (thus the student loan gravy train drying up) the thought of having to move back up to moms has been entering the mind. I personally wouldn't mind it but the social aspect would really get to me.


----------



## hypestyle

...it's going to have to happen for me eventually.. planning on making something happen after I finish with college within a year.. but currently i'm only working part-time (and not in the industry I'm trying to get my feet wet in), I've pillaged most of my "retirement" account from a former job that I had for 12 years, catching up on current bills and emergencies.. I'm trying to relocate to another state as well.. but even if I get a firm job offer in another city, I know they aren't going to pay any moving expenses.. I'll be on my own for that plus a security deposit plus first month's rent on any place I'm looking at.. to cut back on the stuff I'll have to take with me, i'll have to step up selling older stuff of mine on Ebay like music cassettes, old magazines, clothes.. do yard sales even work nowadays?


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## confinedbyanxiety

I think there is nothing wrong with living at home (like people wouldnt judge you) as long as you are contributing in some way.

I think the whole stereotype of a certain age still living at home as being a BAD thing comes from the thought that one is living at home LEECHING off their parents... which in my opinion isnt exactly a redeeming quality.

Those families in other parts of the world, or even here, where I know many of my friends have their parents, grandparents,etc all living in one house.. NO ONE thinks it is a bad thing or judges them.. because they are all in school, or working, and all contribute to the household. 

If you are living like the above, there is nothing to be embaressed about and I dont believe anyone will judge you for it.

Again.. the age thing is only a frowned upon thing in our society (IMO) because if you are 30 years old, without a job, living for FREE at your parents home, and not in school or out every day looking for a job, you look like a freeloader... I will correct myself... you ARE a freeloader.. that is the definition of one. Expecting everything for free without carrying your own weight.

AGAIN -- if you are contributing in some way, I dont think living at home is a bad thing. Even paying 100/mth to help with food while you save,etc. and looking for a job... maybe you are changing careers.etc... I wouldnt judge someone regardless of how old. Only if someone is a freeloader


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## Aries33

Yep im 33 moved out once or twice when i was younger but not for very long, can move out but then i would be totally alone here its just mainly me and my mum dad is around here and there but everyone else has moved out of home, i think when my dad dies then i may have to move out ,he's only got another 7 /8 years left in him ( i dont like my dad that much)


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## hopena

I am. I was just about to post my own thread on being 36, still struggling (despite making small advances - people liked me, for a while), and with increasing anger issues, since late last year. I actually managed to get myself banned from a message board, because of my own paranoia (I used to have the dignity to remove myself from situations that were worrying me - not anymore). 

This all started after I started to have issues with my age, and had my heart broken (and the person practically pushed me over the edge). I don't want to go into it, but I can't believe that my attitude is now so bad, that I have people thinking I'm a troll, and got myself banned! I don't even like myself anymore, and I at least had the good attitude, and pleasant manners to make myself feel better, in the past.


----------



## hopena

confinedbyanxiety said:


> I think there is nothing wrong with living at home (like people wouldnt judge you) as long as you are contributing in some way.
> 
> I think the whole stereotype of a certain age still living at home as being a BAD thing comes from the thought that one is living at home LEECHING off their parents... which in my opinion isnt exactly a redeeming quality.
> 
> Those families in other parts of the world, or even here, where I know many of my friends have their parents, grandparents,etc all living in one house.. NO ONE thinks it is a bad thing or judges them.. because they are all in school, or working, and all contribute to the household.
> 
> If you are living like the above, there is nothing to be embaressed about and I dont believe anyone will judge you for it.
> 
> Again.. the age thing is only a frowned upon thing in our society (IMO) because if you are 30 years old, without a job, living for FREE at your parents home, and not in school or out every day looking for a job, you look like a freeloader... I will correct myself... you ARE a freeloader.. that is the definition of one. Expecting everything for free without carrying your own weight.
> 
> AGAIN -- if you are contributing in some way, I dont think living at home is a bad thing. Even paying 100/mth to help with food while you save,etc. and looking for a job... maybe you are changing careers.etc... I wouldnt judge someone regardless of how old. Only if someone is a freeloader


I'm an unintentional freeloader, and they keep buying me things when I ask them not to. It doesn't feel good to be on this side of things.


----------



## Adam81980

ShyViolet said:


> I'm 31 and still live at home. I don't see that changing any time soon. I couldn't move out even if I wanted to. I'm poor.
> 
> Anyone else in the same boat?


 I am 31 and in the same boat, sort of. To make things worse, I moved out at twenty and only returned here a year ago due to my own stupid choices. I think a lot of the 30+ people living at home never moved out and have become comfortable with it to a degree? When you were on your own throughout your twenties and find yourself moving back home at 30, the disappointment and embarrassment in yourself is much worse. I feel like a complete failure with nobody to blame but myself!

For me, I went to Germany at 28 years old to work as a bartender for a former friend's hotel for a couple years. It was something I'd wanted to do for years, and never thought I'd get the chance. When I got it, I jumped at the opportunity.

While I was there, I was forced to interact with customers. Meeting people was easier than it's ever been for me! I was even regularly meeting women, getting dates and even experiencing a sex life for once. I was really feeling great and gradually getting my confidence back, thinking that maybe I wasn't as debilitated by SA as I thought I was? Actually feeling somewhat normal socially for the first time in my life! I even made friends outside of work, but unbeknownst to me, while I was there my SA was interfering with my co-workers accepting me! I was labeled the eccentric, weird, creepy guy because I never really connected with my co-workers. Didn't show much emotion or facial expression. I guess I came off as standoffish to them? The women I worked with were even saying I made them feel uncomfortable!







Well, to make a long story short, after a year I was let go because my co-workers just didn't accept me and kept complaining to the boss that I was too weird, or something just seemed off about me?

Reluctantly, I returned back to the USA completely crushed emotionally. I had been worried about not fitting in when I first went there, but after close to a year there, I thought I'd been accepted? I had no idea my co-workers were all talking about me behind my back and wanted me gone until the last month! I knew weren't close friends, but I didn't think they disliked me, either! To think I was finally accepted, only to find out I was really rejected and ultimately let go due to complications from SA was too much to take. It was devastating and hurt me tremendously. Especially because I never had a problem or even exchanged hostile words with any of my co-workers the whole time.

When I came home, I suddenly found myself back in a place where I spend all my time alone with no close friends. It was so miserable. One of the reasons I jumped at the chance to escape this place when I first left.

Desperate to just be around people, but having no social circle, I started going out to the bar by myself on the weekends because it was the only place I could go instead of just coming home and sitting here alone every night like I do the rest of the week. There's only once place to go in my town. Usually it's not very happening there, and after six months of going there on weekend nights, I got tired of it. For my birthday, I finally decided to go somewhere else. But I had to drive to get there.

That night I made the choice to drive home because I don't have any friends to get a ride from. There are no taxis here or any alternative transportation. And that night I got myself an OUI! Never thought that would happen, however, I got so lonely and desperate to just go out and be around people again, that I decided to go out and drive home.







I knew it was wrong, but I was just so lonely and longing for conversation, rational judgement went out the window.

As a result, I had to hire an attorney to save my stupid ***! That cost $7K to get off and avoid a criminal record. I also had to buy a car when I had returned to the USA, so that cost me another $7K, and suddenly I found myself with $14K in legal bills and car debt! In my area, you can't even find a decent apartment for less than $1000 per month. With that high cost of living and my debt, there was no way I could afford to live on my own! I was forced to bow my head in shame and return to the parents house to be a dreaded "cellar dweller"! The same kind of person I'd unrelentingly made fun of throughout my twenties when most of my college educated acquaintances moved home, yet I was on my own! (working as a pizza delivery driver at the time at that)

So, due to my own stupid choices and my SA leading to rejection that caused me to return to the USA early due to my firing, I'm now living at home at 31!

I can barely even think about it without feeling like a tremendous failure! My confidence and self esteem was already damaged, but this has deteriorated it 10x more! It's completely unacceptable for somebody my age to be at home, but I have no choice for the time being! I dread meeting new people (especially potential dates) or people I haven't seen in a long time, because I know they'll inevitably ask where I'm living these days! Due to my own pride, I just can't bring myself to tell them the truth. 
I want to get out ASAP, but still have debt to pay off. I also don't make as much money as I use to, so paying the inflated rents of the Northeast also presents a problem. For now, I remain here at home trying not to think about it, but the humiliation and shame is never far from the surface at any given time.

Sorry to ramble, but those are my personal feelings about my situation. Something I agonize over every day.


----------



## tim78

It's nice to that there are other people who are over 30 and still living at home. So at least I'm not the only one. But for me, it is extremely embarrasing. I'm overly sensitive to begin with, and I avoid people completely because I don't want them to find out. I don't date or have any friends. I'm used to not having any social life, but at 33, it begins to get depressing. My parents have been very good to me, but I feel stuck. I don't make enough money to move out and find an apartment in New York City.


----------



## estse

Who wants to be roommates?


----------



## mypasswordneverworks

6OH2 said:


> I have my BS in accounting too, and held 2 jobs since graduation. One in governmental accounting and one with a public accounting firm which I lost a few months back. I've been through all the recruiters and still get nothing as they tell me I don't have enough experience for the jobs they are currently filling. Well how am I going to get experience without working?! I'm starting to wonder if I'm blacklisted as well. It's frustrating as hell knowing how hard I worked to get to where I'm at, with all my student loans, and wondering how I'm going to pay them off. And the worst part about it is I had to move back in with my parents, when I was living on my own and paying my bills 10 years ago while working a job anybody with a high school education could do!!


I relate. I moved out and lived on my own for years until the economy tanked. Now I live with parents in my bedroom that I slept in for the first 18 years of my life. It's a major slap in the face. I have a Masters in Accounting and work a job that anyone with a high school diploma could do 5 years ago. I'm over educated and underexperienced in everything. Sure, I could move out and make it if I scrambled by but who is to say I wont lose my job or equity in a house as the economy continues to be ****? :no


----------



## Nichiren

I'm thinking about selling all my electronics and keeping my books and getting a ratty section 8 apartment in the bad part of town.
There are some actual freeloaders living here now and they do not contribute anything and try to use everything. 
They can buy drugs, booze and go to the casino every weekend but cannot buy food.
Or pay any bills. And they always want to borrow my folks car or money from them. the cops have been by several times because of them.


----------



## Nichiren

Adam81980 said:


> I am 31 and in the same boat, sort of. To make things worse, I moved out at twenty and only returned here a year ago due to my own stupid choices. I think a lot of the 30+ people living at home never moved out and have become comfortable with it to a degree?_* When you were on your own throughout your twenties and find yourself moving back home at 30, the disappointment and embarrassment in yourself is much worse*_. I feel like a complete failure with nobody to blame but myself!
> 
> For me, I went to Germany at 28 years old to work as a bartender for a former friend's hotel for a couple years. It was something I'd wanted to do for years, and never thought I'd get the chance. When I got it, I jumped at the opportunity.
> 
> While I was there, I was forced to interact with customers. Meeting people was easier than it's ever been for me! I was even regularly meeting women, getting dates and even experiencing a sex life for once. I was really feeling great and gradually getting my confidence back, thinking that maybe I wasn't as debilitated by SA as I thought I was? Actually feeling somewhat normal socially for the first time in my life! I even made friends outside of work, but unbeknownst to me, while I was there my SA was interfering with my co-workers accepting me! I was labeled the eccentric, weird, creepy guy because I never really connected with my co-workers. Didn't show much emotion or facial expression. I guess I came off as standoffish to them? The women I worked with were even saying I made them feel uncomfortable!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Well, to make a long story short, after a year I was let go because my co-workers just didn't accept me and kept complaining to the boss that I was too weird, or something just seemed off about me?
> 
> Reluctantly, I returned back to the USA completely crushed emotionally. I had been worried about not fitting in when I first went there, but after close to a year there, I thought I'd been accepted? I had no idea my co-workers were all talking about me behind my back and wanted me gone until the last month! I knew weren't close friends, but I didn't think they disliked me, either! To think I was finally accepted, only to find out I was really rejected and ultimately let go due to complications from SA was too much to take. It was devastating and hurt me tremendously. Especially because I never had a problem or even exchanged hostile words with any of my co-workers the whole time.
> 
> When I came home, I suddenly found myself back in a place where I spend all my time alone with no close friends. It was so miserable. One of the reasons I jumped at the chance to escape this place when I first left.
> 
> Desperate to just be around people, but having no social circle, I started going out to the bar by myself on the weekends because it was the only place I could go instead of just coming home and sitting here alone every night like I do the rest of the week. There's only once place to go in my town. Usually it's not very happening there, and after six months of going there on weekend nights, I got tired of it. For my birthday, I finally decided to go somewhere else. But I had to drive to get there.
> 
> That night I made the choice to drive home because I don't have any friends to get a ride from. There are no taxis here or any alternative transportation. And that night I got myself an OUI! Never thought that would happen, however, I got so lonely and desperate to just go out and be around people again, that I decided to go out and drive home.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I knew it was wrong, but I was just so lonely and longing for conversation, rational judgement went out the window.
> 
> As a result, I had to hire an attorney to save my stupid ***! That cost $7K to get off and avoid a criminal record. I also had to buy a car when I had returned to the USA, so that cost me another $7K, and suddenly I found myself with $14K in legal bills and car debt! In my area, you can't even find a decent apartment for less than $1000 per month. With that high cost of living and my debt, there was no way I could afford to live on my own! I was forced to bow my head in shame and return to the parents house to be a dreaded "cellar dweller"! The same kind of person I'd unrelentingly made fun of throughout my twenties when most of my college educated acquaintances moved home, yet I was on my own! (working as a pizza delivery driver at the time at that)
> 
> So, due to my own stupid choices and my SA leading to rejection that caused me to return to the USA early due to my firing, I'm now living at home at 31!
> 
> I can barely even think about it without feeling like a tremendous failure! My confidence and self esteem was already damaged, but this has deteriorated it 10x more! It's completely unacceptable for somebody my age to be at home, but I have no choice for the time being! I dread meeting new people (especially potential dates) or people I haven't seen in a long time, because I know they'll inevitably ask where I'm living these days! Due to my own pride, I just can't bring myself to tell them the truth.
> I want to get out ASAP, but still have debt to pay off. I also don't make as much money as I use to, so paying the inflated rents of the Northeast also presents a problem. For now, I remain here at home trying not to think about it, but the humiliation and shame is never far from the surface at any given time.
> 
> Sorry to ramble, but those are my personal feelings about my situation. Something I agonize over every day.


Sure feels like it.
I totally understand.
Feels like you have failed at life.
I act like I am ok outwardly but it tears me up inside.
a friend suggested I get a second job but at 10 hours a day 6 days a week I barely have time to eat, sleep and commute.


----------



## billphilbertson

tim78 said:


> It's nice to that there are other people who are over 30 and still living at home. So at least I'm not the only one. But for me, it is extremely embarrasing. I'm overly sensitive to begin with, and I avoid people completely because I don't want them to find out. I don't date or have any friends. I'm used to not having any social life, but at 33, it begins to get depressing. My parents have been very good to me, but I feel stuck. I don't make enough money to move out and find an apartment in New York City.


Ditto


----------



## SHYGIRLAJB

I am very grateful for my parents for letting me stay at home. Yeah it has it's ups and downs, at least it's a roof over my head and things.


----------



## Positive

I hear nothing but gloom, doom, and insecurities. Why is it wrong to attach an age or subject yourself to unnecessary pressures and constraints? Living w/ your parents is something shameful?

I adore my folks, and love them very much. In our family, we've gone through SO MUCH, that family is the only thing we know. I cannot imagine how some people would look at this as an issue. Life is so short, and especially w/ loved ones, shouldn't you spend time with them when you can?

The bottom line is, I value my family a lot.


----------



## PatKay

Sometimes it's a big challenge trying to fight the stigma of living at home with your parents at an advanced age in life but I guess if you're working towards a change, after choices gone wrong, just hang in there and keep hope for a better tomorrow.


----------



## millenniumman75

With this economy as weird as it is, living at home is not such a bad thing. I did it when I was laid off in the last recession. It is a good thing to be at home base and build yourself up in the process. Unfortunately, it allowed for my SA to explode. It did allow me to finally figure out what was wrong with me.


----------



## jon 29 uk

Im back at my folks home after 8 years of living with room mates who all got married except me . it was bitter to walk back into the bedroom i had before i moved out.... But on the bright side i have Never been so relaxed and stress free as i am now! I have had heaps of time to learn about myself and find out why it is that i am not succeeding in life, which in turn helped me discover i must have SA. this was a life altering discovery of hope and joy. my parents house rocks.


----------



## gaz

tim78 said:


> It's nice to that there are other people who are over 30 and still living at home. So at least I'm not the only one. But for me, it is extremely embarrasing. I'm overly sensitive to begin with, and I avoid people completely because I don't want them to find out. I don't date or have any friends. I'm used to not having any social life, but at 33, it begins to get depressing. My parents have been very good to me, but I feel stuck. I don't make enough money to move out and find an apartment in New York City.


I'm like you. I don't like people to find out too much about me and that i still live with my parents. I have no friends, no girlfriend, and i have no job either since October.


----------



## gaz

Positive said:


> I hear nothing but gloom, doom, and insecurities. Why is it wrong to attach an age or subject yourself to unnecessary pressures and constraints? Living w/ your parents is something shameful?
> 
> I adore my folks, and love them very much. In our family, we've gone through SO MUCH, that family is the only thing we know. I cannot imagine how some people would look at this as an issue. Life is so short, and especially w/ loved ones, shouldn't you spend time with them when you can?
> 
> The bottom line is, I value my family a lot.


But you get to an age where you desire a feeling of security and responsibilty. I feel like a kid who has never grown up somewhat. It's worse no because i am unemployed.


----------



## Knowbody

I have 5 yrs before this happens to me, I have to do something about it QUICK


----------



## Catnap

I have to admit that it is comforting to read the stories of other people who are in the same situation. I've moved out of my parents' house about five times (in the last eight years) now and had to come back each time because something or other that happened; lost a job, roommate moved out, abusive ex, couldn't handle dorm life, etc.

Though my family and I don't have the most healthy relationship, I'm grateful for the rent-free place to stay, but I would mind it a lot less if it weren't so rural out here, with a marked lack of public transportation and employment/entertainment opportunities. No one has really given me grief about it except for myself, because I (used to, at least) measure myself against my parents and what they accomplished at my age, though I realized so many variables really make the two situations incomparable. Compared to how bad things _could_ be, I think I've made wise choices. It's just a hard time, though certain "inclinations" I have don't make it much easier. 

I'm putting my best effort forward to get back into college next year though, so I'm trying to savor this time of being in such close quarters with my family.


----------



## Marooned

There is nothing shameful about living with your parents at any age. Indeed, for those who would avoid a life of servitude and meaningless toil, it's become preferred to stay at home. This ethos of individualism we have is not only incredibly wasteful but is one that does not work to the advantage of the vast majority. Why incur the massive debt required to move out and further enrich the already wealthy in so doing if the relationship with one's parents is good? The masses have been led to believe that this is the path to freedom, but it is a deception. The sharing of resources and duties eliminates the need for excessive labor for all involved and is where true freedom lies. But this is anathema to those who would see us work ourselves to death to pay for their overpriced dwellings and goods many times over. The argument they use to try to shame us into bondage, that staying at home impairs development, is entirely without merit, for the only thing impairing us is the widespread belief in this myth by our peers. One can otherwise just as easily develop a sense of worth and independence while living at home, arguably a greater sense, for how independent can one be who must rely on a miserable job for his or her existence? It is not the living arrangements that are the problem but rather how we have come to regard them.


----------



## altrdperception

If i don't find a job soon, i will have to move back to NJ and live with my mom. I don't think i'll be able to do it. I have little experience, let alone how difficult it is to get one in this economy. I have physical restrictions and i'm looking into government help now. Doing everything in my power to stay here. I think i'd go insane living in her house, it's within walking distance from NOTHING and i don't drive. She is also very controlling and i would feel like a teenager again. Completely powerless. She'd lord everything over me.


----------



## altrdperception

Catnap said:


> I have to admit that it is comforting to read the stories of other people who are in the same situation. I've moved out of my parents' house about five times (in the last eight years) now and had to come back each time because something or other that happened; lost a job, roommate moved out, abusive ex, couldn't handle dorm life, etc.
> 
> Though my family and I don't have the most healthy relationship, I'm grateful for the rent-free place to stay, but I would mind it a lot less if it weren't so rural out here, with a marked lack of public transportation and employment/entertainment opportunities. No one has really given me grief about it except for myself, because I (used to, at least) measure myself against my parents and what they accomplished at my age, though I realized so many variables really make the two situations incomparable. Compared to how bad things _could_ be, I think I've made wise choices. It's just a hard time, though certain "inclinations" I have don't make it much easier.
> 
> I'm putting my best effort forward to get back into college next year though, so I'm trying to savor this time of being in such close quarters with my family.


I said this at your age. There is no point to compare yourself to your parents. You are two completely different people made up of genes throughout the whole family. I have come to terms with this fact, just not with myself.


----------



## jon 29 uk

Marooned said:


> There is nothing shameful about living with your parents at any age. Indeed, for those who would avoid a life of servitude and meaningless toil, it's become preferred to stay at home. This ethos of individualism we have is not only incredibly wasteful but is one that does not work to the advantage of the vast majority. Why incur the massive debt required to move out and further enrich the already wealthy in so doing if the relationship with one's parents is good? The masses have been led to believe that this is the path to freedom, but it is a deception. The sharing of resources and duties eliminates the need for excessive labor for all involved and is where true freedom lies. But this is anathema to those who would see us work ourselves to death to pay for their overpriced dwellings and goods many times over. The argument they use to try to shame us into bondage, that staying at home impairs development, is entirely without merit, for the only thing impairing us is the widespread belief in this myth by our peers. One can otherwise just as easily develop a sense of worth and independence while living at home, arguably a greater sense, for how independent can one be who must rely on a miserable job for his or her existence? It is not the living arrangements that are the problem but rather how we have come to regard them.


here here! , everyone is worried cutting back and conserving fuel to save the enviroment and our wallets . but missing the philosophy and logic you mention. we do car sharing ,why not rent sharing too. i live back at home and have never been better off.


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## DirtyVest

28, 29 next year, still living with my dad, can't see the situation changing any time soon.
I earn poor wages so can't afford to move out alone, I'll never find a decent paying job because I can't interact with the general public very well atall, certainly not in a day to day basis and the likelyhood of me "meeting someone" is remote since my SA is at an all time peak at the moment.
my mum died 10 years ago and my younger sister moved out with her boyfriend about 3 years ago so I think my dad is happy to have me around, but it isn't ideal for me, I feel like I'm living like a child, I always imagined Id have a decent job by now and my own place, this is no way for a 28 year old man to live, buy hey...it could be worse, I could be holeless or dadless, so counting my blessings.


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## spottedcat

I'm 34, still living with my mother. Unlike most of the posts here, though I can afford to move out, but feel too damn comfortable here to come up with the motivation to do so.

The funny thing is, I WANT to push myself to move out, but can't find the drive to. I like this house, the space I have (I have the run of most of it) and having my mother to talk to; we have a good relationship and don't step on each other's toes.

Am I a loser? My mother is hispanic, and it's tradition for kids to live with their parents until they find a mate and move out. However, the vast majority of my friends aren't hispanic, and I find they seem to respect me less when they find out I live at home. Not only that but I have a really hard time meeting people, and the relationships I've had haven't really gone anywhere.

It's so strange; I have this desire to change my life, but not enough motivation to do so. I'm "comfortable" and it's really hard to push myself out of this dip in the road. I often wish my mother had kicked me out when I went to college!


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## PatKay

ShyViolet said:


> I have an accounting degree too, but I've never been able to get a job with it. I think it's hopeless now because I've been out of school for 9 years and my work history consists of temporary data entry jobs. Everywhere I send my resume I imagine it's immediately chucked in the garbage.


Almost exactly the same predicament that we share.


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## GreeneyedgrlNY

33 still live at home too


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## idiotboy

near 30. live with parents. so do my wife and kid.

freaking. nightmare.


----------



## Velvet Neptune

Yes. Probably will be here until I'm 100.


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## listeningear

I'm 33… turning 34 in a couple months. I lived away from home during university and back with parents during the weekends. I briefly moved out to rent with friends in my first year of working.. but the friendships went belly up and I really didn't enjoy the experience. Ever since I've lived at home. I've been in two relationships where I had potential to get married and then probably would have naturally moved out. However I feel I have such an abnormal fear of change!!!! I'm soooo scared of the thought that it wouldn't work out and I'll be worse off. I also think (as much as I love them) that my parents have not helped me become independent and without knowing in fact encouraged my dependancy on them both financially and just in general living. They don't realise this at all and I have no way to know how to tell them they could help me be independent if I felt supported and encouraged and felt they would be there for me. But I think I would just feel lonely and trapped with having to pay a mortgage.. and miserable?!?!?! I think if I had somehow been able to live away from home independently around my university years without feeling the pressure to come home at weekends, I think I would have managed it. Now I'm just filled with fear and dread at the thought. It's like an unseen disability. I really struggled from about 26 to 30 and felt lots of pressure from myself (thinking about the judgements of others saying I'm a loser and old maid etc) and I did move out for a month. I hated it and moved home again. I get on ok with my parents but I'm definitely depressed at my situation as all of my friends are living away from home independently and the majority are married and have up to 4 kids already. I still feel like a child. It just makes me not want to get up in the mornings if I'm honest. But I feel so much better knowing that I'm not alone in still being at home 30+. To be honest I guess I also feel that it's a big waste of money if it's not necessary to move out (which in my case I think would be when I got married) considering that billions live in poverty.


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## hypestyle

Yeah and I’m trying not to anymore. Its been 20 years at this point. Initially was a college dropout, and family members near my college town said I should come here to live instead of going back to my original hometown. So I came to live in a family home in D*troit. Roughly a year later my dad died and my mom moved up here; an aunt who was living here got remarried and moved out; an older brother who was living here moved out.. in a year or so some much-younger nieces and nephews of mine started staying part-time after their parents split up. My mom went out of town for extended stretches to look after other relatives elsewhere. Different people have filtered in and out over the years—technically, except me. I’m sick of and ashamed of myself for not having finished college earlier than 13 months ago. Even then, I have been proactively filling out well over a dozen (sometimes nearly 20) job applications per week, every week, for over a year, but I have yet to make it to the interview level for anything. After getting laid off from a previous job in late 2009, I was only working part time from spring of 2010 to fall 2012—and then another part-time stint from spring 2013 – mid-summer 2013. I’ve scarcely been able to save money, from having to constantly play catch up with current bills as well as taking care of unexpected bills like car repairs when something wears out. 
I have been selling and/or giving away personal effects, like clothing, CDs, DVDs, comics, video games, for the past several months. I’m very tempted to just totally give away 85% of my clothes now, just because I don’t see yard sales and community flea markets being that lucrative for me (I tried it one weekend to meager returns.)
It really sucks when the only answers you get on job applications falls along the line of “Thank you for applying to XYZ position, Mr. Hypestyle… but—“you were not as qualified as we wanted”, “we have decided to interview other candidates”, “the position has been filled” (and the latest trend) “the position has been canceled”. It is absolutely humiliating. I am steadily paying on my student loans every month, working the same relatively low-paying job I had for the past several years. I’m feeling as if the upward mobility narrative is just a sick joke, and that the vast majority of people out there rarely make it out of the income level and tax bracket that they were born into. Poverty is very depressing. I don’t dare contemplate the ultimate self-harm, but I almost empathize with people whose minds linger in that zone, based on whatever they are going through.
I’ve never been into drugs nor alcohol. I can honestly say I have a sober mind as I type this. Still, I am not “well adjusted” at all. I feel like if I don’t make some type of real transition in my career, then my personal life is a done deal in the negative.
When I first came to live here after dropping out of college, there was a particular type of man that was very common here. If I was 19 at the time, then they were well into their 40s and beyond. They were at this point in their lives living with an elderly parent, who was a widow/er. These middle aged men seemed to not be able to keep regular jobs. Their main thing seemed to be doing odd jobs for folks in the neighborhood, for whatever cash was deemed fair by the “client” (or a meal): yard work, moving heavy items, and ‘bootleg’ (untrained) handyman work. It was an open secret that all of these men had substance abuse issues of various kinds, and often they would mildly heckle folks in the neighborhood to “do something for them” for some quick cash, which often times went for the bottle (or whatever else was their vice of choice.) 
Some of these men had children, some didn’t. They were not married—indeed, most if not all had never been. Until they gradually began to disappear from the neighborhood (first their surviving parent would die, usually), they seemed to be content to just live out a relatively fringe existence- a gig as a dishwasher was considered desirable; ambition was just a non-factor. My family had them do “work” for them on an occasional basis; but they implicitly warned me not to associate with them other than basic politeness—they were not role models by any stretch of the imagination.
Early on, I had vowed to myself that I would not be like them—again, this was when I was 19. Well, now I’m 40. I’m still a virgin who’s never had a girlfriend or any romantic attachments; I’m working the same type of job I had when I was 24, despite having a bachelor’s degree. I really feel trapped and just awful about my future.


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## listeningear

Hi Stan Lee. What's your bachelor's degree in if you don't mind me asking? You should feel great about having achieved it even if "only 13 months ago".. that is nothing to be ashamed of. How come you dropped out when younger? Some people get a head start in life because of their circumstances and supportive people surrounding them. Sounds like you have had a difficult enough time of it. Also there are a lot of low lifes who aren't virgins and plenty of nice guys who are I'm sure probably because they don't "try their luck" and pressure a girl. It can get pretty lonely for sure in the single life. Why do you think you have never had a girlfriend? I'm new here so I'm not sure if it's fine to ask questions but just if you wanted to share that would be interesting to hear.


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## hypestyle

listeningear said:


> Hi Stan Lee. What's your bachelor's degree in if you don't mind me asking? You should feel great about having achieved it even if "only 13 months ago".. that is nothing to be ashamed of. How come you dropped out when younger? Some people get a head start in life because of their circumstances and supportive people surrounding them. Sounds like you have had a difficult enough time of it. Also there are a lot of low lifes who aren't virgins and plenty of nice guys who are I'm sure probably because they don't "try their luck" and pressure a girl. It can get pretty lonely for sure in the single life. Why do you think you have never had a girlfriend? I'm new here so I'm not sure if it's fine to ask questions but just if you wanted to share that would be interesting to hear.


Listeningear, hi there- my degree is in mass communications with a minor in broadcasting. I've been trying to get involved in journalism, but I haven't had any luck beyond pro bono blog article writing. If I lived on my own already, I'd try my hand at an Internet podcast, but with the computer in the living room with Mom, well, that's not an option, lol.

the circumstances of how I attended, then initially quit college is described at length here- http://hypestyleshomebase.blogspot.com/2004/04/tonisha-other-than-after-school.html

the short version is, I was probably borderline depressed when I began, without realizing it. Then things got worse for me, being of minority status on a vast major university setting, trying to make all new friends; it wasn't easy, and when I fell in with a group of staunchly religious kids, I gradually realized their situation wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I got severely depressed, and accidentally injured myself with too many prescription medications (non-depression related).. It just wasn't a good look for me to stay--

almost 20 years later I gradually ended up finishing school, detailed here- http://hudlinentertainment.com/smf/index.php?topic=10705.0

but now in this past year, I've become more anxious than ever about my career being stuck in "neutral", as well as my severe lack of any progress regarding anything related to romance or intimacy- 
the extended explanation is here- *http://tinyurl.com/k4zvf2z

*The summary is, I seem to have felt very undesirable by the opposite sex, as well as feeling like my own personal circumstances were drastically ill-suited for dating. I've always had hangups about being overweight, though I've never been vastly overweight, I've usually been bigger than average. While I'm tall, girls/women reacted to me more like Frankenstein than anything else. In another sense, I was always the brainy/helpful type, and so girls/women tended to see me, at best, as the "librarian" rather than "the ball-player" :blank Whether someone considered me "creepy" on principle or simply looked at me as someone to help out with homework or get something off of a high shelf, it was completely unconscionable to see me in any kind of romantic light. After time, I just kind of grudgingly accepted this status quo, especially as I didn't own a car until 2002. Even then, living at home with family when you are 21 is one thing-- but as you edge up to your 30s, and now at 40, I scarcely think that any woman is going to take me seriously at all-- even most "fair minded" women, let alone the reactionaries. So it's more important than ever, desperately important-- for me to move out on my own this year. I'll ditch everything I own if I have to.


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## IdontMind

EremitaGermanus said:


> I'm 40 and moved back into my mother's home some years ago after having lived on my own for 10 years.
> 
> We were both sick and tired of living on our own.
> 
> We both benefit from it.
> 
> We basically live like an old couple now. She's the housewife and I'm the breadwinner.
> 
> And on weekends we rant about today's society and enjoy being on our own.
> 
> Could stay like this forever.


I like your style.


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## loneranger

I'm almost there.


----------



## prettyful

EremitaGermanus said:


> I'm 40 and moved back into my mother's home some years ago after having lived on my own for 10 years.
> 
> We were both sick and tired of living on our own.
> 
> We both benefit from it.
> 
> We basically live like an old couple now. She's the housewife and I'm the breadwinner.
> 
> And on weekends we rant about today's society and enjoy being on our own.
> 
> Could stay like this forever.


thats sweet but you might find a man and move in with him. im sure your mother would be happy for you. and you mightve since you made this post cuz it was 2 years ago


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## timoct

Thank god my father is my best friend and has stood by me through all my dis function.


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## Owl-99

loneranger said:


> I'm almost there.


Just wait till you reach 40 :yes


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## hobo10

I am not 30 yet but am in my late 20s. I live in Hawaii where the cost of living is one of the highest in the U.S. Because everything is so expensive, it is very common...standard even...for one who is unmarried to live at home well into late adulthood. Even people who make okay money at a steady job. Living at home is not looked down upon at all. Also, Hawaii has a heavy Asian influence and taking care of your parents when they are old is pretty standard in those cultures. The only friends/acquaintances I have that don't live at home are those who are married with kids, or those who are from the Mainland with no family here.


----------



## Angel Bunny4

*Hi All...I'm new *

I definitely feel where you are coming from. I'm turning 31 in a couple of months and still living at home. I get so depressed. My family is awesome but I want to be independent so badly. I have no friends, even though I would love to have some. I will be finished with my undergraduate program in 2 months and know the next step would be to get a job but I'm so terrified of interacting with others. The mere thought of an interview makes me so afraid that I usually begin to cry. I'm so tired of living this way. It's so lonely and depressing.

It's nice to know I am not the only one who is dealing with this. Starting to hate myself a little less.


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## CheezusCrust

I'm nearly 30 and do. I don't think badly of anyone because of it. I cannot work or go to grad school now because of all my medical problems. It's pretty much impossible to make friends as a result. I never thought I'd wish to work in warehouses or the back of restaurants again but I'd gladly swap it for my conditions. Regardless of the reason someone is at home, I don't think it should be anyone's business. It doesn't harm them in any way.


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## CheezusCrust

SaigeJones said:


> What are you guys going to do when your parents pass away? If you are in your late twenties or early thirties it is safe to assume your parents are probably in the 50-60 age range. That is the age range where health can easily decline and/or death could occur through natural causes.


I would probably be homeless and die if none of this can be fixed, but I'm doing what I can to find solutions so hopefully I can work or go to grad school in the future.


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## eyes roll tears

yes i am also living wid parents


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## Kwtrader

i never moved out and i'm 29. seeing as how i will be 30 in about 4 months i don't think it will change by then


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## ElectricWizard

I'm 31 and live with a parent who is bipolar.


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## r77115

32 and I live with parents. I have siblings in late 20s who do as well.


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## isurfallday

32 here, living with my dad.....only child


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## DaydreamBeliever10

32 and still living with parents, I've never lived anywhere else and I've had enough. Nothing against my parents but I want my own space, they're here 24/7 and work is no escape. I really need some alone time to get my head together, it's starting to really annoy me being around them all the time. I feel like I can't have any time to myself and I really, really need it. Plus living by myself would force me to be more independent, I would have to actually leave the house and do things like grocery shopping on my own which I think might help me.

I'm working on trying to find a place to live this year but I don't know how to tell my parents that I want to move out. The thought of doing so makes me too anxious.


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## outsideinside

its ok. your going to be ok!

so I lived w/ my 30+ bf for a few (5) years at his parents before we landed an opportunity to split. He's not "SAD" but he had to claw his way back up from the bottom- but I'm so bad I can hardly type this! 

living w/ them was intoxicatingly safe. oh it was amazing. It was like the island in the odyssey where Odysseus meets the lotus eaters and sleeps peacefully after all the tumultuous time at sea and just peacefully forgets about his journey..

that was me! 
Suddenly we had this opportunity and all of my time asleep was in my face and I realized it was the freaking now or never damn moment and it hurt! like cutting the parachute line- and then we jumped...and at first it felt like any minute we were going to slam to the earth.and it went on for a year. and still every pay day when I pay bills it hurts and I'm afraid I'm going to slam into the ground and die. but its gotten a little better. at first everyday was more exhausting and excruciating than I thought I could handle, I had to face a lot of embarrassing no mortifying crap head on. we are doing pretty good now. I'm shaking through public college online and he actually proudly supports us both and if the bottom of our bucket falls out we will try to keep our heads up and if we have to we will swim back to the island. but its been 2 years and we've had our fair share of crap in this short time but (thank God!) and we are surviving. 

When its time for you to jump you will to -and you will make it! chin up. suffer through it and do whatever it takes to stay above water- pride be dammed! if you can work you can probably split rent w/ someone on a 2bed apt. you can do it! 

and as scary as it sounds and is

its 1000000% worth it!

but until you jump feel good! 

I don't know about you but I still find relief in faith. 
God commands we find joy always.


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## loneranger

A bit over 30 now and still with mom.


----------



## StarlightUK

I am 30 and live with my parents. I moved back after my relationship break down. And its not ideal but its affordable. They don't understand why I have issues going out and depression so I keep to myself mostly in my room.


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## RoveRanger

I love my parents to bits but living at home at my age makes me feel pretty ashamed of myself. I know moving out wouldn't magically change things but I'd at least be able to hold my head a little higher. Unfortunately the last 6 or so years have involved either stressful jobs or periods of unemployment so it wasn't a priority. Employed now in a more relaxed environment and the money is not great but I really have the itch to find a place.


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## StarlightUK

RoveRanger said:


> I love my parents to bits but living at home at my age makes me feel pretty ashamed of myself. I know moving out wouldn't magically change things but I'd at least be able to hold my head a little higher. Unfortunately the last 6 or so years have involved either stressful jobs or periods of unemployment so it wasn't a priority. Employed now in a more relaxed environment and the money is not great but I really have the itch to find a place.


I am with you on being a bit ashamed. Moving back home was a shameful thing and having issues doesn't make it any easier. Sounds like you got the job front sorted that's a huge part of the battle over and now your on to getting your own place. Well done!


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## KatDJZ

I moved out finally almost 2 years ago (and I guess I'm not technically 30 yet, but as it's only a couple months away, I've been rounding up) but I've been a not so great mental place recently and am fighting the urge to move back. I'm very close to my parents and loved living there. They always said they were happy to have me there and were in no hurry to have me gone, but I felt like the stereotypical "loser" still living at home. 

So when a friend needed a roommate, I finally worked up the nerve and left. And it's been fine, but for some reason I just want to come back. I've been anxious and depressed lately and just crave the feeling of home and being all safe and secure with people to take care of me, as pathetic as that probably sounds. Fighting the urge, but depending on how the roommate situation goes in the upcoming months, I may be 30 and living with my parents again.


----------



## sometimealone

32, still at home with parents, feel like a complete loser...


----------



## ilsr

bunnie said:


> Oh don't let me scare you...lololol. I mean accounting is pretty boring and difficult (sooo much homework and reading) but you will probably excel at it! I graduated with a C average. Plus I never had an internship.....I think that is what is holding me back. I just wanted to get an in demand degree.
> 
> Also you live in a different area from me, so perhaps the job prospects are better there.:yes


Dang, I'm going for an AA in Accounting. It's going to be my 2nd degree after a BSCS. (of which I never got into coding, just lousy tech support , network, etc.) There are plenty of bookkeeping/quickbook jobs listed in my area; I'm worried about having too many gaps.

I know it's unlikely I'll ever work for a big firm or anything. Just want a less socially demanding job than being an IT gopher.

And someone said they have a masters in Accounting and still can't find anything related? really? there's a bunch of 10-12 / hour jobs out there for basic bookkeeping. Well sure it's a lot less than a real accounting firm job...


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## chefdave

In countries like the U.S & U.K housing has primarily become an 'investment'. I.e it's no longer about putting a roof over your head: the housing market is used as a vehicle to line the pockets of 'investors'. Hence there's no shame in living at home with your parents, it's the natural consequence of a totally dysfunctional housing market. 

I moved back in a couple of years ago, and although it's far from ideal (I would LOVE my own place) it kinda works: I get a cheap place to stay and my parent gets an income. Why should I work hard just to fill the bank account of some scummy landlord? No thanks.


----------



## fair sprite

Living with my mom and single in my 30s...


----------



## Sgates

Yes I turn 31 in May and still live with my Mom and Dad. Then again so does my brother who is 26. I lived with my gf and her dad back when I was 17 until I was 22 and then moved to Europe for 2 years when i was 25. Unfortunately because of crappy jobs and little pay I had to move back home in 2010. I spent over 3 years in a community college trying to get a better job only to find out the field I wanted to do was too stressful and the math too much for me. I now owe a lot in student loans and stuck at home with barely anything in savings. It really sucks but at the same time thankful we're all here. We lost two family members last year so its been very very difficult to remain positive which jobs pick up on if your not. 

I have many friends who are married now, have a girlfriend or children. I am happy for them but that life isn't for me. Try to look at it this way. If your single with no children your still able to do anything you want. It will just take a lot of hard work. Especially starting from scratch again like me. I lost my car in 2011 to a drunk driver and since then its been extremely hard to get a job and buy another car. I rarely ask for support from my parents because I feel it is my responsibility which it is. They at least let me stay with them and that I have to be thankful for.


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## longwaytorun

I'm 33 and I live with my parents 5 days a week. I have a condo that I stay at 2 days a week. Mostly I'm bored there anyways, so I prefer to be around my parents.


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## forex

still living home @ 30 , but am looking for an appartmetn but its hard to find one.


----------



## inthewater

I'm in my thirties now, but lived with my parents on and off until I was 27. Like others have mentioned here, things are different these days. It's nearly impossible to afford to buy a house if you're single, and the economy is in the toilet. Most adults who live with their families are not lazy losers. They just have no choice in this economy.

I don't really understand the stigma that comes with living at home. I hate that adults who live with family are called losers or leeches. As long as you contribute to the household, either with money or help or both, I don't see the problem. This was totally normal until our modern age when everyone became so interested in status, proving themselves, or whatever. 

I had a friend who lived with her parents until she was about 26. She worked, saved up money, and eventually put a down payment on her own house. But when she was still living at home, I remember there was a guy we knew who thought she was cute but refused to ask her out because she lived with her family. He thought it was weird, and that she must have been "a loser." Well, he ended up losing out because she is quite successful now. I especially don't understand calling a woman a loser for living with her parents. This was commonplace until recent times! Anyway, I just wanted to say that I don't think there's any shame in living with family, as long as you help out; and you aren't expecting your mother to do everything for you like when you were a child.


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## WineKitty

I think living at home gets a bad rap. If it works for you and is mutually beneficial, why not? 

I moved out at 17 but I had a dysfunctional family. Had I had a good family it would have been different.


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## Mister Spirit

31 and living with parents. Only lived alone on two occasions. It sucks. The worst part about it is that there's nothing I can do about it because I can't make enough money to be on my own. It makes me wanna die every day. The worst part is my parents nagging me to get married. That makes no sense at all. I have anxiety and depression, but clearly they don't understand that. My younger and better days, albeit brief are way behind me now. I'm too ashamed to be around people or to talk about myself to people. I have no friends. It's just work, home, eat, sleep, repeat. It makes me want to believe that the world is a delusion of mine. My parents are horrible parents. They spoiled me as a kid and never taught me the importance of being independent. I had to learn it myself. I had to discipline myself. I'm tired of everything. It's too straining on my mind and I can't really think rationally anymore to make good decisions. I don't know how long I have to continue to live like this as I age faster than lithium battery life.


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## DeeperUnderstanding

I lived on my own when I was 23-24. Moved back home after an emotional breakdown. Then lived on my own from 27-29, moved home to take care of a dying relative. Then when she died, my sister moved in and turned our lives upside down. Now I am two years older, sister moved out, and I'm just waiting to get a job so I can move out again.


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## seadevil

30 and living with mom. She still flies with her small helicopter all around me, which is very annoying, also she is very nervous and depressive as a person, so usually I'm the only target for such a gunfire. My mom isn't happy with me: she think that I don't have to go away and will take care of her when she is even more old, but at the same time she still tries to influence my live even in smallest detail: like where I go, who I meet, why I chat online, I don't have any privacy or peace not for a min. You ask why I'm not leaving. Well, she has an eye ilness, which may progress, so she would need more help in the future and alone she won't be able to cope with it. That one. The second reason is that there's nowhere to go and for all my life parents told me how bad, cruel and negative outside world is, "who will like such loser as you anyway". Now seems that their "therapy" is working.


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## Zett

31 and living at home with my parents and divorced sister and her son. 

I'm unemployed too. Things weren't always like this though, I was out by myself at 25-29 but due to getting made redundant was forced to go back home. However, I'm not a victim of circumstance.

I have a deeper problem that has plagued me well before my childhood SA issues (which are mostly repressed by now). My video gaming addiction has laid waste my recent relationship of 3 years (which is over as of last month) and the last 14 years of having a chance at a growing career. Despair from the failed relationship finally forced my hand and I've quit games as of last month. I know exactly what I need to do but I can't muster the motivation to go full throttle yet. ~_~


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## swiv2D

I live at home with my parents but I pay for pretty much everything mortgage, bills, leisure, tax. It's quite common to look after your parents in an Indian family but by parents were really bad with their finances and were in a lot of trouble also my mother had a stroke and doesn't have a pension so I guess it's my responsibility now, till I can find a way to make lots and lots of money.


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## londonguy202

Nearly 30 and still living with my parents who are very old, still no choice but just hoping one to go to bar or something to pick up a women with my nice accent but maybe not. IDK


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## CeilingStarer

Meh


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## ravens

Yeah I'm still living with my parents. I've never lived away from them.


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## Ckg2011

I live at home because I have no job and no money. An as far as I can tell money is the main factor in being able to moving out.


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## EpicFailAtLife

Yeap, 34 and live at home with my mother. It's a daily reminder of my complete failure.


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## changeme77

Think about the positives. If you say to the girl "Shall we take it back to my parents place" she will be super impressed.


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## EpicFailAtLife

changeme77 said:


> Think about the positives. If you say to the girl "Shall we take it back to my parents place" she will be super impressed.


Say that and she'll say "goodbye"...


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## changeme77

EpicFailAtLife said:


> Say that and she'll say "goodbye"...


Sarcasm gets lost in translation on the interwebz.


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## saline

For what it's worth, I know of a fair number of people in their 30's who have no SA issues at all who live with their parents.
The economy is screwed.
At least here in the UK, rent is out of control in lots of areas. If you are in a low paid job, you can barely get by and afford any sort of social life anyway, once rent and food are paid. 

Don't be so hard on yourselves.


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## EpicFailAtLife

changeme77 said:


> Sarcasm gets lost in translation on the interwebz.


It wasn't lost on me, it just didn't strike me as witty so I ruined it. It's what I do.


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## Locut0s

Wow this thread gives me hope and abstinence. Knowing there are this many others out there suffering and living with their parents at our age and feeling bad about it, I guess misery loves company, it's comforting to know there are others like me. *group hug* 

I'm 31 have lived with my parents all my life. Managed to hold down a job for 4 years once but didn't leave the home. Been in and out of university many times due to anxiety/depression. Never managed to stabilize myself enough emotionally to move out.


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## londonguy202

yes, I wish i didnt but I do, My parents keep bugging me to do another degree here in the states and then get married. I would love to move out but they say i cant stand on my own 2 feet. 

I do hope i get out and start dating but no women will want a jobless loser


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## beemee

I am 38. Still live with my parents. Afraid of the outside worl


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## anomnomnom

Near enough

(I realise its the 30+ section but I feel I can relate a lot more and I'm 28 in 2 weeks anyway )

Never moved away, went to university nearby so I had no need to move out, suppose it will be interesting when it finally happens, its mostly been down to the fact I've struggled with jobs/never had any money so its never been an option, I also dislike the idea of renting and I don't have anyone I can move in with so I wont be able to move till I have years of saving and even then it'll probably come crashing down on me.

Worryingly..I'm actually fairly happy here, I mean I'm left to myself to do what I want, my parents are cool and dont bug me/interfere, I would like more room for my stuff but if thats the worst thing I can complain about here I don't think It's too bad. I know if I'd had a bad time here or the situation was different I would have been more likely to bail earlier on in my life..but now I know its probably going to be fairly difficult! :|


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## Aeturnus

Add one more to the list. I'm not happy with where I'm at, but I'm not ashamed. Right now the only way I'm able to get any kind of work is through a temp agency, which I guess is better than nothing. I do pay my mom three a hundred a month for rent, which I do plan on paying her four hundred whenever possible to help her with bills and groceries.


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## londonguy202

+1, I'm 27 but I now that I will still he cling eith my parents even when I'm 30 it's just how we live until I either get married or hopefully met a nice girl


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## riderless

haven't lived with my parents for 40 years


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## Magicmoo

gaz said:


> ^ I feel for you. I can honestly say that in ten years time when i'll be 40 i will be still in the same situation.
> 
> I worry too about losing my parents, i mean i have no one else other than my sister.


Gaz are you still living at home ? Just stumbled upon this forum.. I realise it's an old post/ comment.

I moved back home 3 years ago now 35 ! Various reasons. But gosh it's depressing.


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