# dysthymia?



## caithiggs (Jan 11, 2009)

Has anyone here been diagnosed? Or feel like they have it?

I have never heard of dysthymia before, but I just came across it online today. It's strange I've never come across it because it explains me pretty damn well. I almost feel like now I could explain myself to other people, where there was no way to before, like I've never made sense. The only thing is I've always semi known I was depressed, but even to this day I wouldn't want to admit the fact that my mood level and my self esteme is not where it should be. I've always been tired and I've always had the worst concentration my entire life--that part I could easily admit to people without shame, except I try not to because I know I'm annoying if I complain to people. Anyway, so the problem is I would love to go to a doctor and get diagnosed or whatever, just so I could explain myself to the people around me that I care about, but only for that reason. I have no interest in drugs at all or whatever doctors would offer me. Plus I still really don't want to admit that to some doctor stranger either. I still hold regard myself in a pretty secretive manner, and don't really want to share my vulnerability with others. But at the same time I do want to maybe have a justification for myself, and of course I want to improve my self esteme and my ability to concentrate and learn and my energy level. But I can't see myself really putting myself out there. And besides being who I am I find I just as easily give up on it all anyway and go back to my regular routine. I just hate feeling like I'm just lazy or stupid or something, or afraid of people. Because I don't think that's the case deep down. I think it's something more. 

Anybody else with similar experience?

I'm also afraid that everyone around me would just tell me I'm making it up, or being a hypochondriac, which I get **** for all the time. But I know my complaints are real, I just don't explain them in a confident manner, so people question me and shoot me down like it's going out of style. Yet another reason I feel I should just keep to myself as much as possible.


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## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

I came across Dysthymia about two years back. I resonated with a lot of the symptoms and at that point self diagnosed myself with it. In my research I found a book that's specifically about Dysthymia called Beating The Blues by Michael E Thase and Susan S Lang. 

I'm not sure how helpful it is to get diagnosed for Dysthymia. At the time I was going to a therapist for depression and anxiety related issues. So I don't think the treatment would of changed much if it was for Dysthymia or depression in general. I don't think many therapists/psychologists really know what Dysthymia is. It's unfortunate because a lot of the time Dysthymia fly's under the radar. It's not obvious like Bi-Polar disorder. And even when Dysthymia does become apparent it's usually mistaken for regular depression, which is in fact just double depression.

I've sort of grown out of depression. But when I had it the worst I did seek medication. It seemed to help some, but Dysthymia is a long term disorder. The problem with Dysthymia is that it's not bad enough to ever create any major outbreaks. It just sits their beneath the surface. So why you may never be super depressed, you never feel anything good. It's a very mediocre feeling that never pushes the boundaries, and therefore, to our detriment, is manageable.

I'm not sure about telling family members. I don't think most people understand depression, let alone an even less obvious variant like Dysthymia.


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## caithiggs (Jan 11, 2009)

Yeah. You described it pretty well. When I was a kid and teenager I wanted bad and dramatic things to happen to me or to have a nervous breakdown, I still want a nervous breakdown sometimes now, just because it would mean my problems could finally manifest. If they don't manifest you can never do anything about them, right? But if they do, you have no choice but to fix them. At least, that's how I always saw it. 

I am afraid my family life was unfortunately a breeding ground for something like dysthymia. There was never anything to be truly depressed about. There was never anything to truly care about. I would never tell my family. They are not the type of people to tell. They don't believe in disorders really at all. They don't believe in being happy or in being unhappy. 

I think it mostly becomes a problem though in relationships and among colleagues. You can't really tell them about it, so you are always kind of off to the side in groups or relationships. At least that's been my experience.

You're right, I think most people really don't understand depression. It's like they say, it takes one to know one.


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

Yep. Me too.


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## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

caithiggs said:


> Yeah. You described it pretty well. When I was a kid and teenager I wanted bad and dramatic things to happen to me or to have a nervous breakdown, I still want a nervous breakdown sometimes now, just because it would mean my problems could finally manifest. If they don't manifest you can never do anything about them, right? But if they do, you have no choice but to fix them. At least, that's how I always saw it.
> 
> I am afraid my family life was unfortunately a breeding ground for something like dysthymia. There was never anything to be truly depressed about. There was never anything to truly care about. I would never tell my family. They are not the type of people to tell. They don't believe in disorders really at all. They don't believe in being happy or in being unhappy.
> 
> ...


I'm really sorry about your upbringing. I know it would of been much harder if I wasn't able to of talked to my family. If it's available to you, you may want to try an anti-depressant. I tried one with the point of being less depressed and it definitely cut down on those feelings. I'll leave off on saying Dysthymia is definitely a very real condition. Don't let your family make you feel your creating these feelings out of thin air.


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## lde22 (Oct 19, 2009)

I'm pretty sure I have Dysthymia. For the last 4 or 5 years I never felt really depressed but am never happy at all. Occasionally I will feel really depressed and think about suicide or I will get really anxious and have a panic attack, but most of the time I don't really feel anything, mostly numb and tired. But I am afraid if I go to the doctors he will think I am wasting his time because I'm not severely depressed. I feel like he is going to say there is nothing wrong with me, then I will feel like there is no hope of doing anything to change my life.

At least when you feel suicidal or are having panick attacks there are real justifyable reason for going to the doctors. But to go to the doctors and say I hate my life and never feel happy, or to tell them you are terrified of being around people just seems like you are going to the doctors because you are lonely and want attention or something.

Are there medications for dysthymia and social anxiety that we can ask the doctor for?


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## caithiggs (Jan 11, 2009)

There are a few reasons I don't like going to doctors. I also don't take to the idea of medication either, for many reasons as well. I don't know that they really have meds specifically for dysthymia, though I'd bet it's possible anti anxieties could help in some way. 

But personally, I'd rather not risk experimenting on my brain like that. I often feel like there must be some other underlying cause for my dysthymia though. Sometimes I wonder if I'm becoming diabetic, though doctors always tell me my blood sugar is fine and that I'm perfectly healthy. So I would prefer to look into alternative health methods. But it's difficult to get help for a problem that is so difficult to identify.


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## solitarian (Nov 14, 2009)

I'm pretty sure that I have dysthymia, although I have never received an official diagnosis. I didn't know I was depressed until I took the MMPI test and my psychologist at the time told me that I was experiencing chronic mild depression. That's basically a diagnosis of dysthymia, but since my psychologist did not really believe in labels, I never received an official diagnosis. 

I now realize that I have been depressed for many years without realizing it. Chronic depression is the reason I have so much trouble motivating myself to do anything, and why I am unable to experience many happy moments. I always feel fatigued and I have to push myself to go out and do things. St. John's Wort has helped me a little.

Most people have a very unsympathetic attitude toward psychological disorders. They just think that you should "get over it", and they don't realize that these disorders are as real as any physical illness, and often times even more disabling. A diagnosis/label may make you personally feel a little better, but I doubt it will make others understand or care any more than they do now. That's my experience anyways.


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## Pialicious88 (Sep 23, 2009)

Diagnosed


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

lde22 said:


> I'm pretty sure I have Dysthymia. For the last 4 or 5 years I never felt really depressed but am never happy at all. Occasionally I will feel really depressed and think about suicide or I will get really anxious and have a panic attack, but most of the time I don't really feel anything, mostly numb and tired. But I am afraid if I go to the doctors he will think I am wasting his time because I'm not severely depressed. I feel like he is going to say there is nothing wrong with me, then I will feel like there is no hope of doing anything to change my life.


That sums up my attitude most of the time. Sometimes I go through stages of happiness. Last weekend for example, I went to a concert and then went into town with some friends the next day. However, I've recently gotten back to my original state of mind where I'm rather unhappy most of the time but I don't think of suicide or anything like that. I feel constantly lethargic, and I don't have the energy to do anything. I also have extreme difficulty trying to concentrate. The only time would be when everything is silent or if someone is explaining something slowly to me. I also have poor self esteem, feelings of guilt etc. Although I've always felt incredibly guilty to consider myself depressed though, because there are people that have it so much worse than me. However, I'm 17 years old so this could be just a little too much teen angst. I'm really confused, but this dysthymia seems to sum me up pretty well. I'm not sure if I really have this problem though.


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## caithiggs (Jan 11, 2009)

I'm wondering if anyone else with dysthymia feels this way: I feel like yeah, okay, now that I think this is a fair label for me, it's not like something that I could change about myself. It kind of feels a bit like part of who I am. I'm not sure if that's an unhealthy attitude, or a natural one. Just the way I see it, I've always been this way. I don't take my emotional attitude as a "problem" exactly, because it's who I am. But then again, of course it prevents me from experiencing life fully. It's just, I've never experienced the range of emotions I guess most people are supposed. Or never processed my emotions the way people are supposed to. Like, am I supposed to try and change it? Or do I just remain the way I am and always have been. It's not really like I remember a time in my life when things were "different". So I don't have a lot of motivation to "change". Like, could I even enjoy being emotionally expressive and sentimental like other people if it were possible? 

Mostly, I just have always wished I had energy to do the things I really want to do in life. Motivation and energy kind of hand in hand. 

I'm sure it's natural also, not to feel motivated to do anything about this state of being, huh? 

Rixy, I have chronic lethargia and extremely poor concentration. I'm a mentally creative person, but can't produce the creative projects I'd like to because I have such poor concentration and learning skills. I've gotten a little better over the years (I'm 23 now), but only in so much as I push harder, whereas I was completely apathetic as a teenager. I still struggle hard with lethargia and poor concentration. I wonder if this is the cause of my poor self esteem, or if it was always the other way around. Of course I can't say if you have dysthymia either, or even if I do, but I can relate.


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## Fuzzy Logic (Sep 16, 2009)

After reading the symptoms it seems I have this alright. I didn't realise there was a specific name of it; I just figured it was the general experience of depression. How does it differ from generic depression anyway?


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## BlueBamboo (May 8, 2007)

I don't know if you'd call it diagnosed, but I was explaining to my doctor that I wasn't entirely happy but I didn't think I was necessarily "depressed" because I'd never had a major can't-get-out-of-bed-type bout of depression, and she mentioned there was something called dysthymia (which I'd heard of before) that had similar symptoms. I was actually sort of impressed.

For me it sort of manifests in a general lack of interest in life, especially in the future. Not to say that I, say, spend all my money without saving for retirement because I'm not thinking at all about the future, I make plans and have goals and such, it's just that it doesn't seem like it'll be that great to experience it. Mostly I alternate between feeling sort of "meh" about life in general, and feeling pretty much nothing, life just _is_. I'll get occasional times of more sadness than usual, and (much less frequently) I'll get short times of happiness over something specific. I've also noticed that when something's actually wrong with me - I have a cold for instance - it just totally saps all the energy out of me and I'm completely miserable. Like I don't have enough of a basic amount of happiness in my life to deal with minor downturns.

I think most people who haven't extensively studied psychology would probably dismiss this as me just being a 'debbie downer', and not a real disorder of any sort. Yet if you _do_ study it you learn interesting things, like that it has a higher rate of suicide than regular depression because it just goes on and on and on until it's sucked all the joy of out life, and people don't get treatment for it because they don't necessarily realize something is "wrong". And the people around them, of course, "know" that nothing is wrong with them and tell them to shut up and think of the starving children in Africa and get over it already.


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

BlueBamboo, I can really relate with what your saying. Most stuff to me just seems like a bland area of grey to me. I can try and be moderately happy if Im listening to music or jamming on my bass but I'd have to completely cut myself off from society to do so. Putting in any effort is an incredibly hard task for me to do. The whole going to work, doing work, coming home to do some more work really depresses me and makes me want to go bat**** crazy. Any occupation that I can fulfil in the future fails to interest me, so I wonder whats the point in working hard to be unhappy. My thoughts are probably irrational, but they keep bugging me and getting me down. I really wish I could experience some sort of breakdown or outburst of anger or something just so it'll justify me getting help. If I told anyone about this they'd probably just say it's teen angst. To be honest, I really hope it is :/


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## Rydan (Nov 11, 2009)

Wow. I'd never heard of this before, but, after research, I think I may have it too. I had a mostly situational bout of major depression quite a few years back but it was different. I never really feel that I hate myself or I want to die or anything like that, I'm just not interested in more that a couple of things. Or I'll get interested momentarily before it quickly putters into eh. I don't know.

Also, and maybe this should be a separate thread, does anyone else have problems with feelings? For instance, I love, and get mad, and excited, but can't show it. Sometimes its the SA, but sometimes it just feels terribly muted. I think I should be feeling such, but I don't really _feel_ it.


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## kev (Jan 28, 2005)

I'm not diagnosed with dysthymia but I might as well be. Basically, I have major bouts of recurring depression with in between time where I'm "mildly" depressed, even on medication. I do have some genuinely happy times, but they are infrequent.

I also feel stupid complaining about it because the symptoms are very vague and I know I should just be grateful that my situation isn't as bad as it used to be or as bad as it could be. But dysthymia takes a toll on people. Dealing with mild to moderate depression for years on end can be worse than experiencing a severe major episode of depression for a few months (barring suicide). At least with severe depression, your symptoms will be so obvious that they cannot be dismissed by a doctor or any reasonable friend. 

Dysthymia is very hard to explain to people. For those that have doubted you in the past, I would avoid debating it with them. From my experience, people don't change their opinions about mental illness very quickly or ever. Debating with these people will only bring you down. 

I respect your decision not to use meds, but I think it is essential you have someone to talk to that will listen and not judge you. Therapists are expensive, but they at least are not as ignorant as most laymen. They will understand that you are not complaining or making your symptoms up. At the same time, they are not likely to push meds on you the way a psychiatrist would. 

On a positive notive, I have read some research that while antidepressants are often the most useful tool in severe depression, therapy along with lifestyle changes (diet and exercise for example) is sometimes more helpful for dysthymia than medication. Personal experience also indicates that this seems to be the case.


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## MadCap Laughing (Nov 20, 2009)

I was diagnosed with dysthymia a little while back, but now I think I may have been misdiagnosed, I'm not sure with what, maybe cyclothymia. I have to meet with my therapist and my psychiatrist sometime this week to get that sorted out.

To the OP, I think you may be able to just see a therapist and skip the psychiatrist. I have both, and they've helped me, but I can understand the medication thing. I think, if you want, maybe try to see a therapist. I used to be fairly secretive too, but after awhile I got over it, and now I talk to mine with no problems.

If you truly don't want anything to do with any of that, you could also set up, ask them to diagnose you, and then tell them you want to stop seeing them.


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## Alectron (Oct 20, 2009)

Yes.


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## caithiggs (Jan 11, 2009)

Rydan said:


> does anyone else have problems with feelings? For instance, I love, and get mad, and excited, but can't show it. Sometimes its the SA, but sometimes it just feels terribly muted. I think I should be feeling such, but I don't really _feel_ it.


Absolutely. My whole life. As a child with SA I used to throw temper tantrums a lot, and I know now that served a huge purpose in my life back then because all the other times I had to bury my emotions so deep inside. Since adolescence and adulthood I have found I don't have anywhere for my emotions to go. It's really tough, especially when I am alone and can feel them welling up. It's so painful. All the time other than those moments it's just locked away somewhere inside me, and I can't get access to it. Can't let them flow normally and naturally like other people.

It's funny, I went on a trip over the summer, where I saw a reiki healer, and she told me I had a lot of emotions buried inside of me. And then like right after I got a fortune cookie that said "Your emotional nature is strong" It was super creepy. But anyway, I realized that, yeah, it is. Too bad I don't have access to it, without my fear of it all coming out completely wrong or inappropriately. Perhaps it's telling me something. I should probably see someone. But I don't know who.



Fuzzy Logic said:


> How does it differ from generic depression anyway?


Depression I think is less likely to be chronic. You are more likely to have bouts of depression, and depression is more intense. It's like the difference between a sharp pain and a dull pain. You can get so used to a dull pain you don't realize you have it, but it's always there effecting you. That's the best I can describe it.



MadCap Laughing said:


> To the OP, I think you may be able to just see a therapist and skip the psychiatrist. I have both, and they've helped me, but I can understand the medication thing. I think, if you want, maybe try to see a therapist. I used to be fairly secretive too, but after awhile I got over it, and now I talk to mine with no problems.


I'm not really sure how to find a therapist, nor do I feel comfortable giving them my money. There are some at school for free, although I feel uncomfortable going to them (the freeness only makes it worse). Something about the clinical way they treat you. It depresses me, the way that working for a large company depresses me. They have to be highly professional and nobody knows how to keep it real. And I'm too weak to keep it real in the face of that disconnected stare.


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## ch3cooh (Oct 26, 2009)

I was diagnosed back in October. It's funny with Dysthymia is that since it's never crippling like MDD can be it makes it tough to get treatment. You always see the ads for anti-depressants on TV asking if you cry for no reason or can't get out of bed and you think, "Well no that's not me I'm still functional I just always feel like ****." Which is then followed by, "Welp nothing's really wrong with me just keep going on feeling like this." I also think that Dysthymia can be harder to treat and recover from. It's a bit like untreated ADHD (Oh hey my other co-morbid condition) it becomes so internalized and integrated into who you are that the wounds it causes run very deep. But it is treatable, I'm working just as hard on it as I am my SA and ADHD.


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## caithiggs (Jan 11, 2009)

Yeah when our problems are mild and long term they do get internalized. I hate that. 

I think that if it is something that keeps calling for my attention over the next four months I will seek therapy or counseling, but if I find myself more concerned with everything else in my life I won't put priority on it. I wonder if that is a symptom though--continually putting it off because it must not be as important as everything else in front of you.


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## antonina (Oct 25, 2008)

I was diagnosed with dysthymia and I am now labeled as in remission. Medication does work for it. It also can lead to a major depressive episode if it is untreated. This is what happened to me and how I finally got treatment.


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

15 years and counting.


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## Amelia (Nov 24, 2003)

Yes, I'm pretty sure I've had it for years. Doctors haven't been very helpful. They just say to take more exercise or take up a hobby. Which is a problem if you can't summon up the interest to do that.


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## Luck of the Irish (Dec 12, 2010)

I was diagnosed about a year ago after about a decade of not understanding why I felt the way I did. I am successful in business, have all the trappings of success, have dated women that others can only envy but I always felt that I was missing the proper feelings if that makes sense, I suffered bad anxiety and panic attacks about things, especially realtionships and I contunued to run away. This mental illness or low grade depression whatever way you want to describe it is debilitating at times, I have been on meds and taken various cognitive therapy training all work for a while. I can best describe it this way, my life is a grey area, no real highs despite people telling you all the good things I have, I spend a lot of time on my own because I can handle that, if someone gets to close then I tend to worry, I know this all sounds strahge but thats how it is for me. I chop and change jobs all in trying to search for happiness of some kind, which can be a worse feeling that someone whao is depressed and has good and bad days, with my condition every day is just luke warm arragh. I will keep searching but I am in my 40's and have been this way for the last 5 years, maybe some of you can tell me what works for you, if you feel the same way?


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## admiralgloom (Dec 13, 2010)

I was diagnosed around 8 years ago.

In that time I remember a few happy moments not by name or case but just the "memory"

they fade so fast.

If I am not at work I am in my appartment.

I cannot clean, it is incredibly difficult..

Cannot keep a hobby cant be in love (even though I am living with my girlfriend).

It has been such a pain.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

I think it's possible that I have it. I actually learned about it recently in my psychology class. I know that I am not clinically depressed and I don't have hard-core suicidal thoughts/ total loss of motivation. I still go out everyday and function normally and do what I have to do, I'm just never happy. I'm usually in a bad mood and I feel like the world is against me most of the time. I'm also really bored with my life but I don't feel like taking the time to change anything because I don't feel that it will make much of a difference.


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## maxsavage1971 (Feb 4, 2013)

Now I know what it's called 'dysthymia' i'm quite sure that I have it but my diagnosis is depression and anxiety, I will be mentioning it to my doctor.


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