# Would you rather have a male or female psychologist?



## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

Male or female?


----------



## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Had both, each sucked the same amount. Prefer woman a little more though as they seem to have a little more empathy from my experience.


----------



## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

Female


----------



## likeaspacemonkey (Aug 16, 2013)

I find it interesting that people seemingly tend to choose the opposite sex as their therapists. Maybe I'm wrong though.


----------



## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

I'd rather have a male therapist,super independent female authority figures usually seem overly aggressive to me and make me uncomfortable.


----------



## Aribeth (Jan 14, 2012)

Male, clearly.

I've noticed that older men (40+) have a genuine interest in seeing young women succeed and have nice things happen to them. I've seen it in teachers and doctors. They've always treated me really nice for no reason.

And I've had quite the opposite experience with women. They really like putting young women down and making sure nothing good happens to them. Whether it's out of jealousy, spite or whatever, this was my experience with them. So no way I'd trust a woman with this sort of stuff.


----------



## DiscardYourFear (Oct 19, 2015)

I'd rather have a male one, which means I would do better with a female.
Generally, if you have a mistrust of a gender, that is the one that should be helping you get over your trust issues.


----------



## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

I prefer female counselor, I get along with women better as I am a female myself. Though I don't mind. 


Btw psychologists here just do testing not much counselng.


----------



## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Female but all I seem to get is males :cry.


----------



## Xtina_Xposed (Sep 10, 2007)

I'm more comfortable with females.


----------



## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

I want a good psychologist.



DiscardYourFear said:


> I'd rather have a male one, which means I would do better with a female.
> Generally, if you have a mistrust of a gender, that is the one that should be helping you get over your trust issues.


Yup.


----------



## MCHB (Jan 1, 2013)

No preference; therapist I was seeing for awhile was male. More important than sex is their attitude, what they actually know and how they go about it; he was good, but bloody expensive! I should have been a therapist! d>_<b


----------



## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

I'd prefer a female therapist, especially an attractive one. Makes me more motivated and interested. And the hot eye candy is an added bonus


----------



## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

I have disliked every male mental health professional I have spoken to, and only most of the females, so I tend towards female as it has been a higher success rate for me  Maybe just the result of a small sample size though.


----------



## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

Male definitely. I'm much more comfortable around men then I am around women.


----------



## Charmeleon (Aug 5, 2010)

i don't need no psychologist!


----------



## Agricola (Feb 20, 2015)

I would rather have a female psychologist because women seem to have more empathy.


----------



## Nozz (Oct 6, 2015)

Female would be my preference, but I suppose either are fine if it yields results. I'm just really on edge around other males so I think I'd have to reach a comfort level pretty quickly.


----------



## Konev (Jan 3, 2016)

Robot, They're easier to open up to


----------



## Genos (Dec 17, 2014)

i don't care, i just want someone younger and open-minded
my first and last therapist was an older insanely dedicated christian lady who thought god could solve all of my problems. she thought all people who did drugs and alcohol were bad [even the common ones like marijuana]. idk she was just really ****ing weird and put me off therapy altogether. i still see a psychiatrist though for my meds


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Alien robot cyborg.

Male probably. I think because... I can open up to guys more because I'm a little less concerned with upsetting/disapointing them (unless it's someone I like romantically.) 

Also the last time I went to the hospital they had to look into my eyes it was uncomfortable with both the woman and man that looked into them (she brought him in afterwards to double check diagnosis,) but a lot moreso with the woman. She was very pretty and the whole time I was like trying to just act normal and then panicking that she'd know I thought she was attractive or something by my awkwardness/SA/some kind of pupil reaction in my eye. And I just felt like a disgusting alien weirdo creep. And then I left thinking she was annoyed at me because I accidentally started filling in this form I wasn't supposed to fill in. And I obsessed about that for like half an hour afterwards.

Yeah I have a lot of issues, I know.

I did have a female therapist, it didn't really work, but not because she was female.


----------



## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

I saw a couple of psychologists in my youth. When I was in 9 all the way to 14, I struggled with schizophrenia like symptoms. I always felt like people especially females were reading my mind and I genuinely believed 5th through 7th grade that the girls I crushed on could read my mind and I was communicating with them telepathically. 

I still struggle with it to be honest even though I know that no one is there. I always feel like people are watching me and some days its harder than others to convince myself no one has access to my thoughts. 

I haven't been diagnosed with anything as most people iv'e talked to have dismissed my case but I really did have something in my youth. And I still struggle with it even though I know it's not real, it feels very real to me as if they really are there in my thoughts.


Sometimes I can look someone in the eyes and I hear their voice in my head.


----------



## scooby (Jun 24, 2009)

Most of the people that have been involved with my mental health have been female, except my psychiatrists which seem to always be male. I prefer female therapists/psychologists. I find it much harder to open up to males compared to females. I'm not sure why, but I'm too intimidated by them, or too scared to let them in. Maybe its because growing up I learned to not be open with males from my emotionally distant father. We would never share feelings, and its the same with my brother. We would all bottle up our emotions, and only let out anger. And also growing up with guy friends, its just something we never did. Jeez... I just psychoanalysed myself.


----------



## Mammagamma (Dec 9, 2015)

Honestly I wouldn't care. So I'll vote for aliens, because robots can't understand dem feels. By the way, your poll could have two options for each, for example "Male psychologist - I'm a man" and "Male psychologist - I'm a woman".



Konev said:


> Robot, They're easier to open up to


TRUE! Have you seen the movie "Her"? The guy buys a computer with an S.O. that works like an actual human brain. So, at first, he's all open with it and doesn't hide anything from it until he starts to actually consider it a "human" or something like that, so he becomes much more defensive just like we are with real people. I loved that movie, so many ideas go through your brain watching it.


----------



## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> I was like trying to just act normal and then panicking that she'd know I thought she was attractive or something by my awkwardness/SA/some kind of pupil reaction in my eye. And I just felt like a disgusting alien weirdo creep. And then I left thinking she was annoyed at me because I accidentally started filling in this form I wasn't supposed to fill in. And I obsessed about that for like half an hour afterwards.


This sounds very similar to the kinds of stuff my brain throws at me sometimes.

Its almost OCD like, though probably doesn't apply in your case. For me, when I get stuff like this is has the ocd 'feel' to it. Half an hours rumination afterwards would be quite short though for me.

You now know that your worry wasn't quite (ehm, how to put this) sensible now I assume?


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

splendidbob said:


> This sounds very similar to the kinds of stuff my brain throws at me sometimes.
> 
> Its almost OCD like, though probably doesn't apply in your case. For me, when I get stuff like this is has the ocd 'feel' to it. Half an hours rumination afterwards would be quite short though for me.
> 
> You now know that your worry wasn't quite (ehm, how to put this) sensible now I assume?


It would have been longer in the past I think, but I've gotten better at not focussing on stuff for as long over the years, at least when it comes to strangers.

Well I have no way of knowing if she thought I was weird or annoying in any way, but the main thing is it doesn't really matter because logically I didn't do anything that bad.


----------



## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

I prefer female and almost all my psych and therapists have been female, but tbh I probably need a male.

I'm starting to believe (maybe, finally) that what a few of my past therapists have told me is true....that, while I don't put women on a pedestal, I do sometimes seek validation. Because I've been rejected over, and over, and over, I've been burned so many times, starting when I was just a little kid I guess, from my own mom even. You have to get inside my head to really understand why I guess lol. But a "you did a good job" from a man is not at all the same thing to me as having a woman say those words. And a lot of the time the context, the situation doesn't even seem to matter much. I also have just come to believe women are usually a whole, whole lot more empathetic than men. Just my personal experience though.

Sent from my HTC_Amaze_4G


----------



## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> It would have been longer in the past I think, but I've gotten better at not focussing on stuff for as long over the years, at least when it comes to strangers.
> 
> Well I have no way of knowing if she thought I was weird or annoying in any way, but the main thing is it doesn't really matter because logically I didn't do anything that bad.


Yeh, for sure about the 'mind reading' part.

I would also say that:

1. Knowing that someone found you attractive would (for most) be considered a good thing, ultimately (its why the pics thread here is so popular).
2. Peoples pupils will dilate and contract for (I would assume) all kinds of reasons. 
3. Most people don't have the same kind of hypervigilance and internal dialogue we do, she would most likely just be looking for whatever medical stuff she was looking for and wouldn't even consider the attraction thing.
4. You can't be held responsible for the actions of your autonomic nervous system.

So it isn't so much that you didn't do anything _that_ bad, you didn't do anything bad _at all_, because its not something you even have control over 

I don't say this to be critical or anything, like I say this is the same stuff my brain tries to pull on me.


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

splendidbob said:


> Yeh, for sure about the 'mind reading' part.
> 
> I would also say that:
> 
> ...


Yeah that's true, I try to remember that 3rd point especially in general, though it gets difficult.


----------



## izbits (Jul 6, 2015)

I am not sure how to answer this question as I have had good/bad experiences on both ends, but for some reason it is easier for me to talk to male therapists (though I think the female ones had more empathy). I don't care so long as they're helpful.


----------



## naptime (Aug 20, 2015)

Female for sure. I feel far more comfortable opening up and talking about sensitive things around a female psychologist.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Female. I'm more comfortable with other women, especially when talking about dating or sexual things. I'd be open to trying a guy though. 

The main thing is I'd want someone to realize that my socializing issues are not all in my head or something that could be fixed easily. I want to be told what my major malfunction is. I don't want to hear, "You seem like a perfectly fine conversationalist. If you just reached out to people more or were more open to a variety of people, you'd make more friends." or "why don't you put an ad somewhere saying you are looking for a friend?" The reality is I suck at socializing AND I'm picky about who I want to hang with. Most people either get on my nerves, intimidate me, or are simply boring to talk to.


----------



## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

Male. Though I'd be better with a female because I have trouble opening up to women. Even though the first therapist I went to was a woman, she was very insensitive, robotic and went by the book. I'd also be concerned if I became attracted to her, how that would negatively affect therapy.


----------



## EvonneEzell (Jul 14, 2014)

Females since I feel more comfortable around them.


----------



## Rodrigo R (Aug 19, 2015)

Female for sure!
My current psychologist is female, why? because I had issues with girls, I become obsessed with one from time to time, so I choose a female psychologist to avoid further problems like hate and so, in fact she asked me the first day "why did you choose a female psychologist"?
Also I feel that men tend to mock, they make jokes, women show more respect specially if is a serious problem.


----------



## kageri (Oct 2, 2014)

Male therapists tend to come to better conclusions about my thoughts, things I'm not saying, and how I'd like to progress. Females tend to get it all wrong, want too much emotional discussion, and quite often get frustrated and start making ultimatums for me to follow rather than working with me.


----------



## Steve French (Sep 17, 2012)

Neither would be nice. Like, a disembodied voice that was completely nondescript advising me on my problems. I don't really connect with any gender too well. I suppose I could be more open on various topics with a man, but those woman do tend to be more nurturing and accepting. I think a male therapist could be more understanding of my personal issues, but a female would be more accepting of them, if that makes any sense. Well, not my last therapist though, she was kind of a ****. 

The question made me think of teachers. Had plenty of those, only one therapist. I found male teachers to be no nonsense, and better at teaching the subject, getting the information across. They made the classes uncomfortable, but I undoubtedly worked harder. My female teachers were a lot of forgiving and personable, and I generally liked them a lot more and preferred being in their classes, even if the instruction was not as effective. Maybe there's a parallel here.


----------



## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

Where's the ''don't care'' option? Doesn't matter what I'd get, I know it would end nowhere, with the psych accusing me of not wanting to change.


----------



## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

I connect more with men than I do with women.


----------



## Rains (Jan 20, 2016)

Female. Mainly because I feel like my social anxiety can come across in such a way that it may make men think I am interested in them (this has happened before), which is extremely embarrassing and stressful. I wouldn't want some awkward situation like that arising with a psychologist. What I really need though is someone who is can empathise, but not at the expense of being realistic and thinking critically about my situation. I'm not interested in paying for comfort, I want some kind of solution.


----------



## ShadowOne (Jun 27, 2016)

Female

Probably because of my upbringing where the guys in my family were in that "guys dont talk about those things" vibe, so i'd feel more comfortable with an older lady. One that was like a hippie in the 60s maybe lol

I've never gone to therapy so I dont really know what would be easier


----------



## Ai (Oct 13, 2012)

It's recently occurred to me that most male authority figures make me slightly nervous--not necessarily by any fault of their own. I feel like I would have an easier time building an open emotional rapport with another woman. 

Alas, I can't afford therapy either way.


----------



## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Doesn't matter. They'd give up on me no matter what their gender.


----------



## Azazello (May 12, 2013)

I picked male for two reasons. 1) I prefer the sound of a male voice. 2) I have reservations about sharing my problems with females simply because my history tends to elicit rather strong emotional responses from them that make me more standoffish. I prefer the straight to the chase, no nonsense and no *****footing around emotions approach that men tend to have to problem solving.


----------



## discoveryother (Sep 18, 2016)

i really really don't need one. i feel like women are better suited to it than men generally.


----------



## Erroll (Jan 18, 2016)

andy1984thesecond said:


> i really really don't need one. i feel like women are better suited to it than men generally.


Well, I've never heard that one before, Andy. Is this your personal feeling, or is there some basis for it in research?

But to answer OP, as a gay man, would strongly prefer a female psychologist. If only males were available, I'd just wait for a female. And it is not that guys are bad psychologists. The problem is from my side. I'm more comfortable with women, but very guarded with men.


----------



## discoveryother (Sep 18, 2016)

Erroll said:


> Well, I've never heard that one before, Andy. Is this your personal feeling, or is there some basis for it in research?


a personal feeling i guess. i don't feel like there is anything a psychologist can do for me. they really only have a very limited kind of power. i know of a few people who have seen a psychologist over a very long time, and i think it gives them some comfort, but little else.

when you are very sick and can't take care of yourself, sure, you need to go see someone. and then you can learn how to take care of yourself - which i don't think really takes that long. you don't need to go back after that. this has been my experience anyway.


----------



## Squirrelevant (Jul 27, 2008)

Until recently I couldn't really say which I preferred. After a good recent experience with a male psychologist, I'd have to say that I prefer male at this point. The female social workers, psychologists and counselors I've had dealings with usually had unrealistic expectations that don't mesh well with my own experiences as a male. There was a lot that I found difficult to open up about. I felt I was guided more towards a victim mentality in their presence, rather than feeling empowered. That being said, I've also had some particularly awful male therapists, so it's very contingent on the individual that you happen to be seeing.


----------



## waterfairy (Oct 20, 2016)

Doesn't matter to me, as long as he or she is actually useful.


----------



## Riff Raff (Nov 25, 2016)

I am a guy and I do prefer to have a man as a psych doctor. 

For me it just works better. Because I like to be able to talk to him about the issues in my life... and being able to talk to a man that knows what its like to be a man and have certain issues in life can help. Like there are some issues I would sometimes need to talk about.. that a woman would really not understand. A woman does not know the male Psyche the way a man does. She can read about it.. and study it in school but still a woman does not ever really know first hand what its like to be a man and to have certain issues in life that men face, 

that is my take on it.


----------



## AllTheSame (Mar 19, 2016)

TenYears said:


> I prefer female and almost all my psych and therapists have been female, but tbh I probably need a male.
> 
> I'm starting to believe (maybe, finally) that what a few of my past therapists have told me is true....that, while I don't put women on a pedestal, I do sometimes seek validation. Because I've been rejected over, and over, and over, I've been burned so many times, starting when I was just a little kid I guess, from my own mom even. You have to get inside my head to really understand why I guess lol. *But a "you did a good job" from a man is not at all the same thing to me as having a woman say those words. And a lot of the time the context, the situation doesn't even seem to matter much. I also have just come to believe women are usually a whole, whole lot more empathetic than men. Just my personal experience though.
> *
> Sent from my HTC_Amaze_4G


What this guy said. Nothing's changed lol. And I still really believe the bolded part. Though that most def does not mean that all women are empathetic....I've met some that seem to lack that ability, that part of their brain just seems to be missing altogether.


----------



## LucasPSI (Dec 23, 2016)

I'd say female. I don't know why, but being around other guys tends to put me on edge. Which is odd as I'm not insecure about my masculinity in the slightest. I think I just find most women to be more open to talking about emotion than most men.

...But gosh if I could have a robot therapist. That would be neato


----------



## Beast And The Harlot (Jun 14, 2015)

I want a *male* therapist, completely.

Females hate me, so I would get on better with a therapist of the male variety.

Males hate me too...not as much as females, though.


----------



## discopotato (Dec 24, 2016)

I tend to feel more comfortable with females


----------



## Virgo (Jun 27, 2016)

As a female, I don't mind either way. I don't do therapy anymore but I have a male psych and he's wonderful.


----------



## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Atheism said:


> I don't do therapy anymore but I have a male psych and he's wonderful.


So you're in therapy or you're not? Lol.


----------



## Virgo (Jun 27, 2016)

Kevin001 said:


> So you're in therapy or you're not? Lol.


No I don't do therapy as in going to someone for an hour and talking to them about my problems and then going home. Even then I think I could have no problem talk to a male for an hour, and I only had female therapists. I go to a psych now only for the purpose of being prescribed meds and we do talk, but our meetings usually only last about 15 minutes.


----------



## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Atheism said:


> No I don't do therapy as in going to someone for an hour and talking to them about my problems and then going home. Even then I think I could have no problem talk to a male for an hour, and I only had female therapists. I go to a psych now only for the purpose of being prescribed meds and we do talk, but our meetings usually only last about 15 minutes.


Oh ok so you just see a psychiatrist then. Gotcha. :smile2:


----------



## Blue2015 (Jul 3, 2015)

Female.


----------



## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

female, though i know having a male one would probably benefit me in some ways. well, the RIGHT male one.....i'd need one w/ a really good demeanor.


----------



## peterbutter (Jan 14, 2018)

Definitely women. They seem more understanding and empathetic. I had two male therapists in my life and they made me feel worse after the session than before. One guy at the end of the session basically made me feel worthless.


----------



## Sus y (Aug 30, 2017)

If I had to go to one (due the kind of issues I face, which is mostly about dating/relationship) I would rather a male than a female, I think they would be more understanding of problem's nature and how to deal with it. But I'm ok out of the dating world so...


----------



## Lyyli (Dec 5, 2017)

Female


----------



## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

I prefer a male - I've had female ones before but they can be distracting for me, plus I just feel more comfortable talking about stuff with another guy. Preferably an older one too.


----------



## vela (Apr 19, 2012)

Female. Since I'm not comfortable around men at all. I would never be able to trust a male therapist.


----------



## Lohikaarme (Aug 28, 2013)

I wouldn't particularly care about their gender as long as I felt there was a solid connection.


----------



## Hutetu (Apr 26, 2017)

I have had both men and women and i feel like the men are way too serious and give too much advice and too little comfort so i prefer women, just my opinion though.


----------

