# Meds really did change my personality



## alex999 (Oct 21, 2008)

Now that I've been of Lexapro for 9 days, I am beginning to see something. I have not realized until now how much different I felt and acted on that drug. It turned me into an actual social creature. Now that it is losing its effect, I feel like I did before the drug. Anxious and introverted.

It's strange, on Lexapro I could actually come up with extremely witty things and have long drawn out conversations with people. I can't believe how much it twisted my personality. The anxiety could be due to the withdrawal or the Wellbutrin I'm on, but still I can definitely realize the effect Lexapro had on me mentally. 

This must be my true personality. Strangely enough, I do not feel depressed over how I am now. It's almost like I've come to terms with myself. Lexapro turned me into something I was kind of uncomfortable with. I felt extroverted and social for the first time in my life, but at the same time in the back of my head I knew I was given a false state of mind and was hiding behind a mask. It wasn't the true me.

Why did I quit? Mostly due to the side effects. I felt kind of apathetic towards life. Lost interest in music and other hobbies. Low motivation, fatigued. Sexual apathy. The usual SSRI side effect cocktail.

The state of apathy must have made me fearless around people. I felt like I could talk to anyone and I wouldn't give a rat's *** if they didn't like me. 

Off Lexapro now, I feel much more creative and driven. Unfortunately it comes at the cost of having more anxiety. But oddly enough unlike in years past I feel comfortable and almost come to terms with my introverted nature. 

It feels weird to be fully interested in things and having energy and a sex drive. It's like I woke up from a 6 month drug trip.


----------



## peaceandlove09 (Aug 10, 2010)

I know what you mean dude. Oddly enough, Wellbutrin has taken away my motivation and creativity. I know it's rare with WB, but i swear that i dont have creative thoughts anymore and i feel less motivated to set goals. So on one hand I am 'drugged' and better mood, but OTOH, my old passions and interests and creativity are gone. 

It's like I am a different person. Not sure if in a good way or not :blank

It beats being depressed tho 


Cheers


----------



## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

I suspect I lost a lot of interests since starting meds, but I wouldn't be alive most likely if I hadn't been put on meds, so the loss doesn't matter.


----------



## Kon (Oct 21, 2010)

alex999 said:


> Now that I've been of Lexapro for 9 days, I am beginning to see something. I have not realized until now how much different I felt and acted on that drug. It turned me into an actual social creature. Now that it is losing its effect, I feel like I did before the drug. Anxious and introverted.
> 
> Why did I quit? Mostly due to the side effects. I felt kind of apathetic towards life. Lost interest in music and other hobbies. Low motivation, fatigued. Sexual apathy. The usual SSRI side effect cocktail.
> 
> It feels weird to be fully interested in things and having energy and a sex drive. It's like I woke up from a 6 month drug trip.


Lexapro eliminated my mild social anxiety but my Asperger's symptoms appear stronger than ever (especially sensory issues) and I think I may still have some performance anxiety. I can be social but still have not much desire, even though I can. It just tires me out and I find it boring after a while unless they're talking about a few things that really interest me. I still hate a lot of the hands shaking/kissing, good-buys, etc. It just feels dumb. On the positive, I've had zero side-effects, so far (~8 months).


----------



## 49erJT (Oct 18, 2010)

I hear what your saying Alex.


----------



## yelda (Jun 12, 2010)

my experience is different.
antidepressants have increased my creativity.
I agree. my personality has changed but I like my new personality.
with meds: no depression and no anxiety and creativity is maximum for me.
I love psychiatric meds.


----------



## crayzyMed (Nov 2, 2006)

SSRI's inhibit phasic serotogenic firing while increasing tonic serotonine, this leads to an antidepressant response but also blunting of emotion and apathy.


----------



## Canadian4Life (Sep 27, 2010)

crayzyMed said:


> SSRI's inhibit phasic serotogenic firing while increasing tonic serotonine, this leads to an antidepressant response but also blunting of emotion and apathy.


I do believe that is right. But sometimes areas of the brain linked to emotion are overactive in depressed and anxious people. So that might actually be useful


----------



## Hailey91 (Nov 28, 2009)

I know what you mean and I think its because Lexapro is indeed, a drug. I mean, perscription or not, it messes with the chemicals in people's brains, just like drugs such as cocaine does, so of course it'd make someone feel happy and hyper! Anti-depressant is just a word they use to sugarcoat it and make it legal from my point of view. 

I quit lexapro cold turkey 2 years ago and it was theeeee worst thing i could do! I should have slowly tapered off. I was a psychological mess for the entire summer and that was really hard. Especially since I was told by guys that I was very attractive, so it was hard to avoid people at my worst when they kept approaching me. It led me to drinking and partying with marines because I felt comfortable around them knowing they were always ****ed up, so they'd never recognized i was ****ed up.

I know I went off topic, but point is, drugs are drugs. And they will really affect you in so many aspects of your life. My opinion is that no one needs them unless they've been on them a long time. Meaning, if you're on drugs for a long time, even on and off, that will mess up your brain, and then at that time, you're probably better off on them cuz you'll be addicted and your brain's chemical balance always wants to go back to its starting point.


----------



## Hailey91 (Nov 28, 2009)

49erJT said:


> I hear what your saying Alex. Many of the things you experienced on Lexapro I did too. I also had weight gain of 50lb in 6 months. After stopping it for 3 months all my weight was gone and I was back to normal size. "I don't give a ****" was my mentality on Lexapro. It's crazy how much of an impact a little pill can have on ones personality. It kind of felt like I had no emotions...I was Just numb.


Those were some effects i had too. I went from 120 pounds to 150 and now i'm 105. It didn't come off easily after I stopped though like it did for you hah. Being a girl, i had to do it the hard way. Exercise and diet, which actually became beneficial anyways. Also, I too felt emotionless. Like nothing mattered or was interesting. Maybe part of that was cuz I was 17, but whatever. Thing is, I get where you're coming from. Lexapro does not create good feelings.


----------

