# How to overcome negativity



## Empty7 (May 22, 2013)

Hi, so I had a lot of problems with the social anxiety (Afraid of being judged, afraid of being rejected, ocd, negativity, low-self esteem) and my inner personality (I don't know who I am, I don't know how I want to be like, I don't know how am I supposed to be, I'm very unstable, there is something wrong with me, people will not like me). And after doing 3 weeks of CBT and exposure therapy my anxiety has decreased a lot but the personality problems are still there and I don't even know how to fix them.

And the thing I want to overcome is the negativity, even though I'm not afraid anymore I expect people to dislike me, rationaly I know it makes no sense but I still have this feeling so how am I supposed to overcome this it ?


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

More therapy, working with core beliefs and assumptions will probably work with the problem you have of "there is something wrong with me" and "people won't like me". I think you might need to go out and socialize a lot more and form good relationships with other people to help you in that department since that's the only way to gather real hard evidence that eventually sinks into your mind and you take that on that at a gut level where it counts. I'm not sure about the problem of not knowing who you are. Maybe the more you interact with other people the more it will help show you who you are.


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## Empty7 (May 22, 2013)

I already interact with people daily, and I mean 2 friends not family. This helped me a lot but I still got this feeling that there is something wrong with me, maybe there is something I don't like about me, I don't know.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

Empty7 said:


> I already interact with people daily, and I mean 2 friends not family. This helped me a lot but I still got this feeling that there is something wrong with me, maybe there is something I don't like about me, I don't know.


You need to venture out and meet new people and form friendships with them. A romantic relationship is good therapy for some people with social anxiety. A good client/therapist relationship can also work.

To find out what you don't like about yourself you will need to find underlying core beliefs about yourself.


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## louiselouisa (Jul 12, 2012)

practice I guess, I know it's hard in the next seconds you'll revert again to being negative but it takes times to fully change they way you think. just keep that in mind. also talk more to different people, when you're feeling highly anxious, take it as a good sign, you're doing something and one step further from your comfort zone.


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## Outofmycomfortzone (Sep 3, 2013)

Everyone else has had good advice but I'd like to add to them: read lots of positivity blogs and books. Maybe at first you'll think they're stupid but eventually they start to get to you. They did for me at least.


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## james251 (Aug 27, 2013)

Once you feel calm enough to address the situation, make a plan. Write down the possible steps you can take that will be positive, achievable actions. Tell yourself that you are feeling negative and hurt presently. Destroy the source of your negative emotions


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## max87 (Aug 7, 2010)

I am also stuck at this part. My therapist once told me about the automatic thoughts and one of the most common ones are catastrophic thoughts. I tend to go that way all the time, i can not think of any possitive outcome at all. I have a hard time trying to change them!


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