# improving my socialbility and my quality of life



## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

Everything is gradually improving.

School's semester is almost finish and a good semester it has been. 
I'm ever more social in my classes. All my teachers know me. And more of my classmates I'm getting to know. Participating in class way more than previous semesters. There were events held on the school campus of the political and arts and entertainment which I've attended even though I wasn't social but being there, seeing something new, learning something new was a positive experience and. Yeah.
In my health final, I had to give a 3 minute speech on my personal health paper, which is about shyness, and social anxiety. and it went well actually. I made a flyer on shyness and one one social anxiety and a print out from some association. and I shared something deep and personal, about not holding any close, solid, and meaningful friends in my life and steps that I doing in order to remedy that. I don't necessarily felt that I was understood completely only to a few. But just sharing that felt extremely positive to a class of 30 some people.
In other areas, I have a more social relationship with some tennis buddies I've made.
I'm a bit more social to the people in my neighborhood, greeting people with a smile, a hi, and a how do you do? :lol The familiarity of everyone (secruity guard at the bank, bus drivers, grocery store staff, the workers in the produce store, fish market, convinient store, ethnic restaurant, library brings a sense of safety, a sense of comfort, a sense of an extended home. which is good. 
There's one stable friend that I manage to hold which feels somewhat close, solid, and meaningful than anyone else in my life. Which is really good.
Family life is improve just a tad bit. Even though I don't feel close to anyone in my family, I've learn in therapy that there are things that don't necessarily are about talk, and that there are other meaningful things one can do, such as on occasion eating together, playing the piano, giving gifts, and such. So yeah. and I'm fine with that.

I found out something about my personal needs that I think I attach to social anxiety and I think I mistaken it for. 

I've worked intensively with 3 therapists for since my adolescence. Working with them, I felt close to them, every time I want to address a problem, concern, what not, and disclosing a lot of my personal history and my thoughts. I think this is what I mean by close. With everyone else, I don't really feel this sense of comfortability and trust. Therefore I don't necessarily feel close to them. I feel more closer to my therapists than lets say to other people in my family. Even though I know them for 24 years and my therapists I worked with 1 to 3 years. 

That's why I feel frustrated that no one in my life is close, solid, and meaningful. I don't think I could get close, solid, and meaningful than a relationship working longterm with a therapist. 

Sometimes I don't think that should matter. The skills, especially interpersonal skills do have transferred from my therapist relationship to others. I see it. I think I'm highly liked by some of my peers, coworkers, classmates, family that I've met.

For some reason I think it's the part of feeling needed that I kinda feel what's lacking. I don't necessarily feel needed in a lot of my relationships.

One idea that came out of therapy was trying to find people that hold similar interest, values, and beliefs such as some meaningful work, attending a lecture, a group, an organization. I haven't tried but maybe during the summer, and fall I probably would look for to. I know the direction where my life is heading after my studies. But that's like 3 years away. Even though I could continually work on myself till then.

So yeah, my social life, and my life in general is improving. And I believe I'll see continual improvement as time goes by. Yeah. For I hopefully or maybe knowingfully will reach my personal goals.


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## salty (Mar 21, 2006)

That's awesome! Way to go! :boogie


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## Jolese (Jan 4, 2005)

It sounds like you are doing very well. Very good for you!


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

That's three boogies for Unsure! :boogie :boogie :boogie!

You have come a LONG way in the time I have known you. Not to cause a panic attack here, but there was trepidation in the first conversation I had with you over chat. You questioned everything you said - and you weren't doing anything wrong! I am so happy to see that there is only caution taken where it needs to be, and not everywhere else!

I think you will do pretty well over the summer. It sounds like you have a lot of plans! Please keep us posted as to how you are doing :yes.


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## GaryUranga (Apr 22, 2006)

very nice  would you like to share what wa sit that helped you a lot with this?


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## prov (May 15, 2006)

Sounds like you're making great progress! It'd take a lot of courage to open up like that to an audience


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## spwill (Nov 16, 2003)

Glad you're doing well Gerard. You have improved so much since I last saw you. It's something you should be really proud of!


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## triple7 (Sep 18, 2005)

Your story reminds me of my own progress in parts, especially the challenge we face getting closer to people, more intimacy, revealing personal information and trust.
It sounds like your doing really well, I hope your pleased with your progress.


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