# HOCD (Homosexual Obsessive compulsive disorder)



## Killer2121 (Jul 12, 2012)

Has anyone else had this terrifying version of OCD? If so, please tell me about your experience.

To all those who don't know what it is... basically it is a form of OCD that tricks the brain into thinking you are gay when you are really not. The brain makes you think you are homosexual. You start to obsess about this issue and compulsions follow, all in an attempt to prove to yourself that you are not gay.

The thing is is that a homosexual would like these thoughts even subconciiously whereas and HOCD'er rejects these thoughts because they are not his and not his/her sexual identity. Very terrifying disorder.. I would not wish it upon anyone

More detail: http://www.steveseay.com/hocd-homosexual-ocd-sexual-orientation/


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## DeniseAfterAll (Jul 28, 2012)

Killer2121 said:


> Has anyone else had this terrifying version of OCD? If so, please tell me about your experience.
> 
> To all those who don't know what it is... basically it is a form of OCD that tricks the brain into thinking you are gay when you are really not. The brain makes you think you are homosexual. You start to obsess about this issue and compulsions follow, all in an attempt to prove to yourself that you are not gay.
> 
> ...


Just pretend you're gay. Have some innocent adventures. If you don't like it and feel like going back with women.. you can always do that :b and we all live happily ever after


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## Xenos (Jun 24, 2012)

Yeah, in my various OCD support groups I've met people with this. I knew one who dealt with homosexual thoughts that disturbed him a great deal. Whenever he met a guy he was terrified he would somehow lose control and sexually proposition him in some extremely inappropriate way. He wasn't gay. It was just OCD.

I also knew a guy who had the same sort of thing about pedophilia. He wasn't a pedophile at all. He had girlfriends and a healthy sex drive. But for some reason he was terrified he was going to _become_ a pedophile, so he would avoid all children, including his own son. Stuff like this can be a real problem, especially because people who have it find it really, really hard to talk about.


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## basuraeuropea (Jul 25, 2012)

this disorder in particular is often linked to the sufferer exhibiting extreme homophobic tendencies. not surprising, but something you might want to assess or reassess if you are mistreating gays/lesbians and/or have negative preconceived notions about said populations.


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## basuraeuropea (Jul 25, 2012)

DeniseAfterAll said:


> Just pretend you're gay. Have some innocent adventures. If you don't like it and feel like going back with women.. you can always do that :b and we all live happily ever after


not advisable.


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## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

Yes, I used to have obsessive thoughts like this. Same with pedophilia.


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## BobbyByThePound (Apr 4, 2012)

For you to freak out about (possibly) being gay, wouldnt you first have to believe that being gay is something to freak out about?


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## basuraeuropea (Jul 25, 2012)

BobbyByThePound said:


> For you to freak out about (possibly) being gay, wouldnt you first have to believe that being gay is something to freak out about?


+1


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## ravagingthemassacred (Aug 2, 2011)

I get what you mean about experiencing obsessive thoughts that aren't "your own". I used to experience this badly though not homosexuality themed. What helped me greatly reduce the obsessive thoughts was 1. severely limit internet time (went from about 18 hrs a day for 9 straight months to about 1, 2 hrs a day sometimes going a couple days with no internet). It had to do with plain overstimulation and exhaustion of my brain. And 2. accepting the thoughts' presence, and trying to just observe them in an unattached way, trying to not worry over a concept floating in my head. I'm pretty good at ignoring them now


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## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

BobbyByThePound said:


> For you to freak out about (possibly) being gay, wouldnt you first have to believe that being gay is something to freak out about?


I am quite okay with people being gay and myself being gay(in fact, believe I am not 100 % straight). I just know that the "what if" question lurks in my mind all the time. It stems from the fact that I have never been in a relationship and I am not entirely sure what I like. I guess I like to be definite about things and the uncertainity kills me.


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## Killer2121 (Jul 12, 2012)

BobbyByThePound said:


> For you to freak out about (possibly) being gay, wouldnt you first have to believe that being gay is something to freak out about?


I have not problem with peoples orientation, but being gay is not something I would desire at all. The feeling with HOCD is that all you had felt in your life in regards to females is a lie. I don't want to lose that attraction.

Denying your gay sexuality is knowing that you are aroused by men or attracted to them, but trying to use excuses. I've never been attracted to man before, but HOCD sufferers both female and male "check" to see if they get aroused by the same sex. When they get these false genital movements then they freak out.


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## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

Sounds like a very cruel trick of the mind.


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## freakingout (Feb 6, 2010)

Try reading this, this helped me out a lot when I was dealing with this fear.(4+ years ago.

http://www.brainphysics.com/yourenotgay.php


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## Killer2121 (Jul 12, 2012)

freakingout said:


> Try reading this, this helped me out a lot when I was dealing with this fear.(4+ years ago.
> 
> http://www.brainphysics.com/yourenotgay.php


haha. This was the exact website that I visited every single day.


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## Xenos (Jun 24, 2012)

BobbyByThePound said:


> For you to freak out about (possibly) being gay, wouldnt you first have to believe that being gay is something to freak out about?


I don't think that's quite fair. You might have nothing against gay people, but the fear that you're going to suddenly manifest gay behavior you can't control would still be distressing - partly because it challenges something you thought you knew about your own identity, and partly because any behavior you can't control would be scary.

The guy I knew who had this problem was certainly not anti-gay. And even if he did have some buried subconscious homophobia that was contributing to his OCD, so what? That's not entirely under his control, and since he made an effort to live as a tolerant and non-judgmental person who supported gay rights and so forth I want to give him credit for that.


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## scriabin221 (Nov 16, 2008)

Even though I'm bi, I can relate in a different way. I issues with hypochondria and obsessive thoughts. I've spent hours trying to figure whether or not I have antisocial personality (clearly I don't). Now, when I have those though, I embrace them. I just think about how ironic it would be. Or have fantasies. It usually just goes away.

As for the hypo, I always have a new disease of the week. I'm very fixated on oral cancer. When I examine my mouth, I feel lumps, when I check my lymphnodes, they are always swollen. A few days ago, I was convinced one of my freckles was melanoma. I have this weird condition call globus hystericus where you feel a lump in your throat when there is nothing. I'm constantly worried about going deaf which can impede on my piano playing. It can be nightmare. But I deal with it. The same way you have to. I can go to the doctor/dentist/have my mother/girlfriend/random friend check things out. It's never going to satisfy. You have to accept it with a bit of humor. Once you do that, it goes away for a little while. It's comes back later, but after a while it's not as bad. Occasionally there are flair-ups, and there always will be (probably). You just have to learn to deal with it. Embrace it, make fun of it, sometimes just ignore it. But you absolutely have to accept it. Once you accept it and let it in, it no longer controls you. You'll also face it and learn that it's not so bad after all. Just some anxiety.

You also might want to investigate why you are feeling that way specifically. I have issues revolving around health and guilt relating to my family and being abused in the past. Maybe you should dig deep and find out why it specifically relates to homosexuality. Though, I'm sure it won't be too hard to figure out. Maybe you should just hang out with some gays. I'm not saying have sex with them, but just find a place where gays hang out and make friends, or read about some gay culture. Watch some movies. It will probably be a major trigger, but it will also help you face it head on. And what if you do find out that you aren't straight? What would you do then? You should put some thought into that. Nothing will happen at all. The world won't end, you explode or turn into a giant drag queen. I don't know, man. You just have to face it and come to terms with it.


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## donnez (May 5, 2011)

I found this link is a search result "HOCD (Homosexual Obsessive compulsive disorder) - Social *...*" and clicked on it thinking it was a joke.

Oh my! Still not sure if I should laugh or cry for you....yikes!

-Gay Damian (in case someone thinks I'm being homophobic)
http://damianth.wordpress.com/


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## HanSolo (Jul 5, 2013)

Killer2121 said:


> I have not problem with peoples orientation, but being gay is not something I would desire at all. The feeling with HOCD is that all you had felt in your life in regards to females is a lie. I don't want to lose that attraction.
> 
> Denying your gay sexuality is knowing that you are aroused by men or attracted to them, but trying to use excuses. I've never been attracted to man before, but HOCD sufferers both female and male "check" to see if they get aroused by the same sex. When they get these false genital movements then they freak out.


Well most guys would get turned on if they closed there eyes and a friendly cat rubbed them enough

I listened to a TTC lecture on the socialiology of sexuality, and the one on gender identity was pretty crazy. Some cultures do insane stuff that would be called totally gay in the US/Canada/parts of Europe.........very strange

OMG I'm a MALE LESBIAN...actually upon looking up that term no I'm not


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