# SA aNd SeX!?!



## Shauna (Jul 29, 2006)

*First if all....this post is directed to all the non-virgins on this site.......... :mum

I wanted to know how does having SA effect your sex life? When you get intimate with your partner does all your SA go away? Does it oddly relieve some of your anxiety and depression?

Uggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! *:sigh :mum


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## Your Lover Scrub Ducky (Jul 26, 2004)

SA affects my sex life in the sense that it makes it hard to get to know a girl well enough in order to go that far with.

...but when it does get that far and the doors shut and the clothes start coming off.... _*RAWR*_.

RAWR, i say!!!

and both my hands tell me im SA free also.


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## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

Agreed


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## Your Lover Scrub Ducky (Jul 26, 2004)

hey Shauna, if you want a car i have an 87 honda civic that i no longer use. it has a problem, it doesnt idle fast enough, but it makes up for it with its reliability and charm *stiffles laughter*. basically, its a peice of crap. it has brand new tires though. and good on gas. 

$450 
you wont regret it

...at first.


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## slurpazillia (Nov 18, 2005)

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## joe81 (Dec 16, 2006)

uhhh yeah shauna it does affect it, considering I can barely talk to a women because I'm too nervous to even carry a conversation with one, it wasn't always like that that though, I used to be smooth.....ha, life's some trippy sheeet


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## mismac (Oct 27, 2005)

I would hope that everyone is comfortable with their partner by the time sex is involved...


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## Shauna (Jul 29, 2006)

Slurpavillia said:


> *Well my hand relieves my anxiety and depression so Im guessing sex would too*. Im sure If you were with somebody you dont know well..then ya..you would think the S.A would make things not so fun.


You should be ashamed of yourself :mum

:lol


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## Shauna (Jul 29, 2006)

Scrub Ducky said:


> hey Shauna, if you want a car i have an 87 honda civic that i no longer use. it has a problem, it doesnt idle fast enough, but it makes up for it with its reliability and charm *stiffles laughter*. basically, its a peice of crap. it has brand new tires though. and good on gas.
> 
> $450
> you wont regret it
> ...


As great as this car sounds...I think i'll pass :nw


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## slurpazillia (Nov 18, 2005)

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## Your Lover Scrub Ducky (Jul 26, 2004)

I agree, we should all be ashamed of ourselves. How dare we touch ourselves. I'm gonna start biting at my hands if they try diving down below from now on.



Shauna said:


> Scrub Ducky said:
> 
> 
> > hey Shauna, if you want a car i have an 87 honda civic that i no longer use. it has a problem, it doesnt idle fast enough, but it makes up for it with its reliability and charm *stiffles laughter*. basically, its a peice of crap. it has brand new tires though. and good on gas.
> ...


lol, smart lady. :b

i might not be able to sell it as is. and its just taking up space in my driveway. its ok though. i have a plan: should i be unable to sell it by july, i'll park it in front of my neighbor's house and pretend its not mine. problem solved.


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## SADLiath (Aug 5, 2005)

Shauna said:


> *First if all....this post is directed to all the non-virgins on this site.......... :mum
> 
> I wanted to know how does having SA effect your sex life? When you get intimate with your partner does all your SA go away? Does it oddly relieve some of your anxiety and depression?
> 
> Uggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! *:sigh :mum


Yes to all (caveats on the last two).

It affects my sex life because, well, I'm obviously not willing to openly talk about some things my fiance might want to ... fantasies, things we'd like to try, etc. I'm sure I've missed out on some great times because of always shutting down and ignoring those types of conversations.

Umm ... yeah, it goes away, I guess. But I don't act SA-ish around him anyway! I mean I talk, I laugh, I'm no more embarrassed about being naked than a woman usually is, being unsatisfied with my body and everything. The only problem is that I do still tend to avoid those intimate kinds of conversations. Other than that ... well, if he suggested moving things outside or videotaping it, for example, no my SA wouldn't stay gone. I would have a heart attack.

It relieves my depression, yes, because I feel desirable and everything. But it doesn't do anything for my anxiety ... actually the opposite. I tend to worry about whether it was good, if he enjoyed it, what if the neighbors heard, how my hair looks (I hate "sex hair"), why doesn't he want to do it more often, etc.


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## richie (Jan 24, 2006)

SA has affected my sexlife by making it non-existant. Its been many, many years since I had sex but my SA was much less severe back then and the fact that the only times I had sex, I was drunk (or at least pretty buzzed), that was probably the main factor in easing up in the anxiety


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## James of Maine (Sep 8, 2005)

Since I'm married and have been for years, I'd say depression has a worse affect on my love life than SA does. When I'm depressed, my sex drive goes to almost zero and stays that way for a long time. And then at other times, it comes roaring back, especially when I have (what I think are possbily) hypomanic episodes.


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## AskJeeves (May 25, 2005)

the only thing i have trouble with is being in control whether its riding him or going down on him, he's my only sexual partner and i wanna make sure i do it right so i worry i'll f up thats the only sa i have during sex. and i also have insecurities about my genitals...put it this way...i'm saving up for a designer vagina...that is all


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

Since i got to past "finding a gf part", SA has no effect on my sex life. My SA whatever is left of it doesnt go away during sex. It doesnt relieve my anxiety or depression.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

I'm self-conscious about my body so as long as the lights are low while I'm completely naked, it's all good. Sex is a nice stress-reliever and I like to lose myself in the moment. It's only a temporary fix.


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## mserychic (Oct 2, 2004)

Totally effects mine. Been with my gf over a year now and it still terrifies me. It's not even that I don't want to. Can't get my head to shut up and just enjoy it.. have to worry about every lil thing. I seriously dunno how she puts up with me.


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## sctork (Oct 23, 2006)

*Re: re: SA aNd SeX!?!*



James of Maine said:


> I'd say depression has a worse affect on my love life than SA does. When I'm depressed, my sex drive goes to almost zero and stays that way for a long time. And then at other times, it comes roaring back, especially when I have (what I think are possbily) hypomanic episodes.


 :agree

I don't have SA in the bedroom anymore... I did when i first started having sex, though and for several years after. I was just insecure that I wasn't good enough and all that. I guess i'm still pretty shy when it comes to talking about certain things that are sex-related like fantasies and dirty talking :b but really, when sex is involved, do you want a talker or a doer? :banana


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

*Re: re: SA aNd SeX!?!*



James of Maine said:


> I'd say depression has a worse affect on my love life than SA does. When I'm depressed, my sex drive goes to almost zero and stays that way for a long time. And then at other times, it comes roaring back, especially when I have (what I think are possbily) hypomanic episodes.


 Pretty much the same for me. SA doesn't affect me nearly as much as depression does in that regard.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

*Re: re: SA aNd SeX!?!*



 leppardess said:


> James of Maine said:
> 
> 
> > I'd say depression has a worse affect on my love life than SA does. When I'm depressed, my sex drive goes to almost zero and stays that way for a long time. And then at other times, it comes roaring back, especially when I have (what I think are possbily) hypomanic episodes.
> ...


Oh yeah, depression ruins everything, including sex life.


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## kev (Jan 28, 2005)

stellar said:


> I would hope that everyone is comfortable with their partner by the time sex is involved...


Haha. Maybe for some people. For some of us, that's an unrealistic goal. I'm barely comfortable with my own family.


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## SADLiath (Aug 5, 2005)

*Re: re: SA aNd SeX!?!*



sctork said:


> but really, when sex is involved, do you want a talker or a doer? :banana


 :lol

That is too funny. But entirely true!


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

> but really, when sex is involved, do you want a talker or a doer?


To be honest, talking during sex, communicating as to how something feels/makes either one of us feel/giving gentle direction adds to the whole situation :stu I don't expect a whole *lot* of talking but enough to know that we're doing good for each other.


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## Nae (Nov 10, 2003)

even the thought of intimacy scares the sh*t out of me. The idea of opening up to someone, to become vulnerable, scares me. I would assume this would affect my non-existant sex life.


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## sctork (Oct 23, 2006)

*Re: re: SA aNd SeX!?!*



leppardess said:


> > but really, when sex is involved, do you want a talker or a doer?
> 
> 
> To be honest, talking during sex, communicating as to how something feels/makes either one of us feel/giving gentle direction adds to the whole situation :stu I don't expect a whole *lot* of talking but enough to know that we're doing good for each other.


you're right, and i know this is something i need to work on  my bf and I are pretty good at communicating and i know i'll be comfortable enough with him eventually to be able to open up a lot more. on the whole, i'm not very good at speaking up about what i want or need, so in the bedroom it isn't any different.


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## cat burglar (Sep 2, 2006)

No.

Maybe, if anything, it makes us better lovers because we're more in tune emotionally. When I started dating my last GF, when I felt her tense up I'd pause and ask if she was alright with this. One time she held me close and started crying. she said the other guys she'd dated never told her they'd stop when she wanted to.

still makes me sad :sigh but no, when it comes to sex or heavy making out, SA is left way in the dust.


Perrap: You'll find someone who knows you're well worth waiting for


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

I've cried after sex before because I've been traumatized by my past with certain guys just getting what they want and moving on. It's a horrible feeling. He held me really tight and told me he's not like that.
It's not fun crying during that time...unless the sex is amazing. lol


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