# people who talk behind your back



## riz (Feb 24, 2006)

my number one recurring anxiety thought is that people are talking about me behind my back, whenever i talk to someone i'm thinking sure i can be friendly, sure i can crack jokes and they will probaly laugh, but they could be acting this all out, they could be pretending to enjoy my company but really hate me and think i'm a annoying person but smile in my face while thinking such things about me, gossiping to others about me, practicing hurtful things to my name and credibility througout the enviorment.

now you see, one thing i have realised about these people (because i have encountered many of them) is _yes_ it can be very shocking to hear someone is saying these things when you find out, and _yes_
you may begin to fell as if you have done something very wrong to make the person say such things about you, you may start to think that you do not want to open up to other people around you because of how much it shocked you.

but one thing is CERTAIN about these people and i can guarantee you from everything i have learned from these people is that...that (i also very rarely criticize other peoples behavior and try to avoid doing it as often as possible) but *these people cannot express there emotions to my face because they are such weak minded indviduals who suffer from worse self esteem issues then imaginable, they need to purify themselves before they decide to make judgements on others* but i still forgive these people for what they have done, I know that they did not mean to cause me allot of fear like they have done. they just do not know how to handle there own thoughts.

i am slowly getting over this more and more though, because i am always 100% assured that if I fell my rights are being violated by other persons actions.. i will take charge and put them in there place on the spot (but of course forgive them afterwards, because everyone deserves another chance)

_ and it is situations that i created myself that help me remind myself that others behavior cannot harm me_


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## kennybenny (May 8, 2005)

if people talk behind my back, that means im worth being talked about instead of

"hey u know ken?

whose ken?

i dunno some ken.......... (who doesnt stand out)?"


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## ghostgurl (Sep 20, 2004)

I had a horticulture teacher that once said "I don't care if people say bad stuff about me, at least they're talking about me" It made me think.


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## Guest (Mar 1, 2006)

this reminds me of something...back in grade school I had a very good reputation (not to toot my own horn). I guess my shyness just made me really easy going / easy to get along with.

But when 6th grade came a kid found a note on the ground...the note stated that I was a fake and trash talked about kids behind their back. Nobody believed it, so I didn't mind it much. More notes followed...hundreds. All the way up to 8th grade I was harrased via paper. Full pages of hate were even mailed to my door (as well as all of my friend's). So yeah, for two whole years I had to put up with atleast four notes a month. One time we found 8 notes on the ground about me in a single week.

The principle gave us so many lectures on it and even claimed that she was getting the police...but never actually did. Amazingly the kid was never caught, but I know who did it. At the time I stopped hanging out with a friend who I had grown up with. We were best friends for awhile but he got really...strange..so I started spending my time with someone else. Due to other evidence (too much to type) that I figured out during highschool thanks to his friends, it put my assurance that he did it at 100%. I still hang out with him often and he doesn't know I know.

He's was simply a jealous jerk...though now, he has many more friends than I do...I can still look at him as a stupid goon...a stupid, jealous, goon..to say the least I wont ever be jealous of a tough guy like him.


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## loner1 (Mar 17, 2006)

:agree , Riz:

This is also one of the most recurring fears that I have as well. Mostly because the floor that I work on (in a hospital) is rampant with people talking behind other people's backs. And because of my SA, this knowledge makes me even more aware of myself, self-critical, and constantly questioning every little thing I do.

I guess you just have to go with the flow and "don't you worry what they tell themselves while you're away"


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