# Nothing to say



## rachelynn (Sep 12, 2008)

If you have no idea what to say or have nothing to say for a counseling session, shouldn't you still get something out of it? I mean, shouldn't the counselor have something to say, questions to ask etc? 

To me it seems like, if I have nothing to say, the session just ends. Hah, what if I just went there to say hi, good bye...maybe they ask one question, then it's the end?  That doesn't seem right, that hasn't ever happened to me, but what if it does?! Just a thought.


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## sara01 (Feb 4, 2010)

If you are in therapy and have "nothing to say" then that is probably something to address in itself. Why do you feel like there is nothing to say I guess would be the question. Or if you have a fear of talking about certain issues, and that is why you don't think you have anything to say. 
People are complicated, and there is always something to talk about. The therapist should provide some structure if the patient is really uncomfortable, or feeling like there is nothing to talk about. I mean, this is where the training should be used. Maybe asking certain questions to put the person at ease, or doing an exercise that might help anxiety in general.


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## rachelynn (Sep 12, 2008)

sara01 said:


> If you are in therapy and have "nothing to say" then that is probably something to address in itself. Why do you feel like there is nothing to say I guess would be the question. Or if you have a fear of talking about certain issues, and that is why you don't think you have anything to say.
> People are complicated, and there is always something to talk about. The therapist should provide some structure if the patient is really uncomfortable, or feeling like there is nothing to talk about. I mean, this is where the training should be used. Maybe asking certain questions to put the person at ease, or doing an exercise that might help anxiety in general.


Thanks for the reply, was a bit helpful.  I think I probably have a fear of talking about some things.


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## VagueResemblance (Apr 17, 2010)

That sounds like not a very good therapist...you're there for a reason and they're there to help; this should include guiding the conversation if it stalls, or asking probing questions.

Why not walk in with a list next time, and refer to it in such a moment? Write out ahead of time the things you'd like to address.
Including the things you have a fear of talking about. Doesn't mean you absolutely _have to_ talk about them in the next session.


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## rachelynn (Sep 12, 2008)

VagueResemblance said:


> That sounds like not a very good therapist...you're there for a reason and they're there to help; this should include guiding the conversation if it stalls, or asking probing questions.
> 
> Why not walk in with a list next time, and refer to it in such a moment? Write out ahead of time the things you'd like to address.
> Including the things you have a fear of talking about. Doesn't mean you absolutely _have to_ talk about them in the next session.


Just started seeing a new therapist and have had 2 sessions so far. I probably should give it some time. But from past experience, all my therapists weren't that helpful with conversation and the session would often end early.

I try to write lists, even just for myself. A lot of the time I end up not mentioning it. I guess for "therapy" to be most useful to me I'd really have to share deep stuff, which is hard. It would be especially hard to share my feelings about what I may fear talking about or getting into an "unsafe" subject or even about how hard it is for me talk to during a session. Sometimes if I try to express this, it comes out not sounding that bad or it's not clear enough, and they don't help.


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## VagueResemblance (Apr 17, 2010)

Why not open by talking about this reluctance, then? It'll either be an icebreaker in this case...or it's an issue that also needs addressing.

Something I did to help was ask questions about the therapist's other patients. I made it very clear that I wasn't asking for anything that would break confidentiality, after all, I wouldn't want therapist to discuss my details with anybody else..

"Have you seen other patients with social anxiety?" for instance. The answer would come back yes, and I would relax a little, knowing I wasn't a freak.


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## lde22 (Oct 19, 2009)

I would think if you have nothing to say, or if you aren't saying anything the therapist would ask you questions to get you to start saying things. The last therapist I went to I couldn't think of much to say and he didn't say anything. There was just an awkward silence. I have only been to a total of three therapists/psychologists/counselors and so far they haven't been that helpful.

It seems like therapists are for people who just want someone to tell their problems to and get vague advice back. I think there job is to just sit there and listen to you ramble on about your problems and then they say some cliche words of advice without really helping any. At least that was what my last two therapists did. My first therapist seemed like she was actually interested in helping me but that was before I was 18 and my mom decided to changed my therapist and I was too afraid to tell her I like the therapist I had.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

My therapists struggled dealing with my relative inability to talk. One told me it was not common and that most people have much to discuss. Another ended the sessions as early as 10 minutes in, which upset me (and largely because the journey often took 1 1/2 hours). It might help, as long as the therapist is flexible, to request prompts when silences are extended. Some just don't work this way and don't understand it. They should accommodate this trait more.


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

I would think that if it was a good/well-trained/experienced therapist he/she would know how to prompt people in situations like that or have a set of activities designed to get the insight needed to be effective. I mean... how would you be an effective therapist and not be able to maneuver this issue? This is perplexing to me.... 

I mean there is art therapy where you use artwork to draw out issues and discuss things from that, there is music therapy where you pick out songs you can relate to and discuss the lyrics and how you think they affect you and how you relate to them... there are so many ways of reaching people that to me it just shows laziness, apathy, lack of training/experience, or an unwillingness to do what is best for the client and tailor the session to what is most needed/effective.

Maybe I am too harsh but they are getting paid to do a job... to help people... cutting a session short because they aren't capable is unacceptable.


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