# One night stands



## Jenikyula gone mad (Nov 9, 2009)

How often do you have one night stands? How does this affect your SA?

In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with one night stands as long as you're not stupid about it. Don't be too drunk, make sure your friends know what's going down and where, and know who you're hooking up with. Be safe, this goes for guys and girls of course.

I also think that one night stands have good and bad sides. Sometimes they are the start of a relationship, which is nice and exciting. Sometimes they lead no where and you feel bad about that. And sometimes you're just like, yeah, that was awesome! i feel alive and satisfied! and you carry on with your life, no big deal.

Yup....:b


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## shynesshellasucks (May 10, 2008)

I can't get laid to save my life. If I could have a one night stand I would. I don't think there is anything wrong with them.


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## Charizard (Feb 16, 2011)

Never had one, never had any interest in having one. Sex without an emotional component doesn't appeal to me.


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

I doubt I could emotionally handle it. But I don't judge anyone for having them.


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## humourless (Sep 27, 2011)

I haven't had any recently.


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## Huk phin (Oct 30, 2011)

As with most thingS, a lot depends on our motivation and what needs we are trying to meet. If we are horny and just want to have sex, the one night stand works. If we are trying to combat loneliness and/or looking to fill some emotional needs, the one night stand may not do the trick.

Of course, at least in my experience, a one night stand was the result of "hook up" getting hot and heavy and turning into a one night stand. An act of passion without a whole lot of forethought.


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

humourless said:


> I haven't had any recently.


It's lovely to see you again.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

Yeah..people can have one night stands as long as their safe and consenting. I see nothing wrong with it. I have had done it before maybe with people I didn't like I just wanted the experiences. But yeah people say ONS are disgusting or whatever ok it's your opinion not everyone thinks that. And yes I have done them out of loneliness but whatever that's in the past.


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

I think theyre fine as long as both people are on the same page with regards to what theyre doing. No feelings, no commitment, no expectations.

Never had one myself and don't care enough to seek one out with someone. If the offer fell into my lap(pun intended ), then that _may_ be a different story. Depends on my mood at that given moment.


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## melissa75 (Feb 16, 2010)

Double Indemnity said:


> I doubt I could emotionally handle it. But I don't judge anyone for having them.


Same here. I need to have some kind of emotional connection with a guy for it to be the experience I want, otherwise, it's not that appealing to me. But, I can understand why people have them.


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

I've never had a one night stand, and never plan to. I can't just have sex with anyone.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

Leaving the emotional bit aside, what would I even get out of them? Not like a random guy can magically please you when he doesn't know what you like and what you don't, most of them barely know how to use what they've got anyway. -_-


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

Ive found out that one night stands are not for me. But it's not like I have the ability to be able to get into a situation like that by my own choice... It is not up to only me. As far as social anxiety is concerned, if you are anxious or insecure about sex, then you probably shouldn't be having sex with a stranger.


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## MindOverMood (Dec 12, 2009)

I can't picture myself having one and just not my cup of tea anyways.


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## CourtneyB (Jul 31, 2010)

Nothing wrong with them as long as you are extremely careful and use protection.


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

Sex with a stranger doesn't sound very appealing to me, but I can see why people are comfortable with it.


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## RUFB2327 (Sep 28, 2008)

I've never had one, but probably would if the opportunity came up.


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

I don't know, never had one. I find the idea disgusting, frankly. Closeness without closeness, what's the point? It would be a bitter tease to me. Not to judge anyone else's preference on the matter. It's my problem. I'm too emotionally needy, and can't seperate it from the physical.


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## jamesd (Feb 17, 2011)

CourtneyB said:


> Nothing wrong with them as long as you are extremely careful and use protection.


Exactly. I find it funny that so many people take the moral high road and say they would never do it. But you know that if they were given the chance, most likely they would jump at the opportunity. Plus who's to say you can't develop a deep connection the first time you meet someone.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

jamesd said:


> Exactly. I find it funny that so many people take the moral high road and say they would never do it. But you know that if they were given the chance, most likely they would jump at the opportunity. Plus who's to say you can't develop a deep connection the first time you meet someone.


Well said. But it depends on _who_ it's with, when granted the opprtunity IMO.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

Jenikyula gone mad said:


> Don't be too drunk, make sure your friends know what's going down and where, and know who you're hooking up with.


Now you tell me.


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## idiotboy (Sep 30, 2011)

had several in college. i didn't know most of them were going to be one-night stands though. embarrassingly enough, i got fed every line (by girls) that guys usually say to girls to get them into bed, and i totally bought it every time. :sigh


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Every time I feel like it. I am a total playa - hide your sisters (18+); hide your MOMS!

If you really believe that statement I just made is true, I would have to ban you.



Charizard said:


> Never had one, never had any interest in having one. Sex without an emotional component doesn't appeal to me.


This is more in line with what I would say.


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## Jenikyula gone mad (Nov 9, 2009)

diamondheart89 said:


> Leaving the emotional bit aside, what would I even get out of them? Not like a random guy can magically please you when he doesn't know what you like and what you don't, most of them barely know how to use what they've got anyway. -_-


That is, sadly, a very valid point. Lol. I've had 2 one night stand-like encounters, and they were both very eager to please me actually. And did so. It's like I won the sex lottery! :boogie


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

I don't see a problem with them as long as both parties are on the same page.


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## alwaysmistaken (Aug 25, 2011)

I think its okay to have one night stands as long as your smart and safe about it. I've only done it once and while the sex was awesome.. the thoughts after it were not. Unless it was a good friend of mine and we just agreed to have sex for the fun of it.. I dont think I could handle sleeping with someone I didnt know, again.


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

shadowmask:1059496524 said:


> I don't know, never had one. I find the idea disgusting, frankly. Closeness without closeness, what's the point? It would be a bitter tease to me. Not to judge anyone else's preference on the matter. It's my problem. I'm too emotionally needy, and can't seperate it from the physical.


Same here ^.^


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## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

How many people have a one night stand expecting it to be a one night stand? For me, sex isn't love and I can separate that from the action. Sex is fun and its a challenge trying to pleasure someone you've never been with before. You get to try out all your tricks and see if they like them the same as someone else did.


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## TheOutsider (Mar 4, 2010)

I would rather have one night stands then relationships. A relationship involves a lot, and putting myself out there emotionally is to anxiety inducing for me. Unfortunately, every time I start to develop any feelings for someone, my natural instinct is to push them away to end all those feelings. I think the only down side to one night stands is developing some sort of emotional connection. Although I think that would be rare, I know I would be question myself over something, because that's just the way I am.


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## StayingMotivated (Sep 5, 2011)

How often do you have one night stands? How does this affect your SA?

Not once yet!!! I think it would increase my SA.

I'm not into giving away free orgasms even if I have one myself. Nothings free in this world especially my vagina


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## StayingMotivated (Sep 5, 2011)

why do I need a one night stand when my toy stays hard and doesn't talk back.

win win!!!!!!!!!!! actually I need to find myself a submissive slave muhahhahahahahhaha no really


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

all my experiences with sex were one night stands. most of them i didn't intend for them to be. i don't think there is anything wrong with one night stands because it's natural and part of life. just be safe and respectful


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## DazdNConfuzd (Jul 11, 2011)

In theory, like most red blooded males I should enjoy the concept of no strings attached sex. But I can't for the life of me separate the physical aspect of sex from the emotional. Last time I had a one night stand I felt miserable for days after! Not that big of a problem though as it's not a regular occurance at all!


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## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

Emotionally, it is different if you expect it to be a one night stand. If you think it could be more and it turns into a one nighter then you doubt yourself and wonder if you did anything wrong, were you no good in bed, or if there was anything you could have done differently.


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## Blawnka (Dec 12, 2011)

I don't think I'd handle it very well, I'd probably get emotionally attached while she, was not.


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## factmonger (Aug 4, 2010)

I had always told myself that one night stands were morally wrong and very emotionally damaging. Then, hypocritically, in a moment of impulse, I had one. It only reaffirmed what I had previously felt. 

I only did it because I thought it would turn into something more serious, even though in the back of my mind I knew it wasn't going to evolve into anything. 

I regret it now but also see it as a learning experience. It made me more aware of what I wanted when it came to relationships and made me value myself more. I am someone who gets super emotionally attached. I need to be in a relationship with someone if I am going to share such an intimate action with them. 

I am not discouraging others from having one night stands, just reflecting on my personal experience.


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

I'm kind of on the side of "not interested in having one," but not because I don't want sex without emotional attachment. I don't really care about that. It just seems like a one-night-stand is too much work and requires too much etiquette that I don't really want to have to deal with.


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## New2LA (Dec 18, 2011)

jamesd said:


> Exactly. I find it funny that so many people take the moral high road and say they would never do it. But you know that if they were given the chance, most likely they would jump at the opportunity. Plus who's to say you can't develop a deep connection the first time you meet someone.


I agree with this ^. I've been stalking this forum for a lil while and felt the need to post on this thread. I like how most of the girls on this thread are fine with it and most of the guys think it's disgusting. (WTF Is this really part of the internets?:stu)

With that said I have had 2 one night stands in my life. One over the summer in Vegas with a girl on vacation from Thailand. I'm still friends with this girl and talk to her on facebook. What I got out of it? Well for the rest of my week in Vegas my confidence was at an all time high. I was approaching random girls in the clubs. Talking to strangers. All with minimal anxiety. It wasn't just the fact that I had sex. It was the fact I had made a connection with someone of the opposite sex and actually seduced her! It was the closeness with someone without being shy or having anxiety. It's a great feeling when you make a real connection with a complete stranger and have NO anxiety around them. Also sex is great too.

But, also, I see the dangerous side to them. Just two weekends ago I had my second ever one night stand. This girl was amazing. She was beautiful. SO smart! And was a RN and had her own house at age 25. So anyways we had a real connection like with the first girl, or so I thought. I woke up at like 4 am in her bed and couldn't fall back asleep so I decided to dip and go home. So, anyways I leave her a note (which I felt was pretty smooth) and give her my phone number and facebook info. Expecting to hear from her within a matter of days, I already had our future worked out in my mind. Where I was going to take her for our first date, etc. I kinda fell for this girl. I thought she was going to be my future gf. Of course, I never heard from her again:no lol. I was crushed for like a week after that. But, I'm ok now  Better than loved and lost than to never loved at all, I guess. Anyways that's my one night stand story. Cliff notes: I think it can help with self esteem and possibly help with SAD. It's a double-edged sword, though. It can also crush you emotionally. Especially, if you are an overly-sensitive type.


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## Racker (Dec 15, 2011)

o.o I can't even say more than hi to the girl at the gas station, and I see her every sunday. The pyschic says my ONS future is lonely, very lonely


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## New2LA (Dec 18, 2011)

Racker said:


> o.o I can't even say more than hi to the girl at the gas station, and I see her every sunday. The pyschic says my ONS future is lonely, very lonely


Do you take xanax?


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## mistyeyes (Oct 27, 2011)

diamondheart89 said:


> Leaving the emotional bit aside, what would I even get out of them? Not like a random guy can magically please you when he doesn't know what you like and what you don't, most of them barely know how to use what they've got anyway. -_-


I was just thinking this. I don't know a single female that has walked away from a one night stand and thought "wow.. Awesome". Haha. Men? Yes. Women? Nope.


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## BilliAnn (Nov 14, 2011)

my one night stands .. it's never with intention to be just one night ... I am with someone always for to be with him for long .. but occurs ... bad luck?


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## MTLQuebec (Dec 20, 2011)

I don't judge others that have them, but I would never do it. I can't sleep with someone if I haven't seen proof of a clean bill of health.


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## VivaEmptinessRoses (Mar 31, 2010)

I wish that I could experience this once. I wouldnt want to have sex with a guy I didnt know. I would have to know the guy prior to this happening. I dont see nothing wrong with one night of torrid love making.


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## New2LA (Dec 18, 2011)

mistyeyes said:


> I was just thinking this. I don't know a single female that has walked away from a one night stand and thought "wow.. Awesome". Haha. Men? Yes. Women? Nope.


This is not true, at all. Ladies can you back me up on this? lol


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## Jenikyula gone mad (Nov 9, 2009)

mistyeyes said:


> I was just thinking this. I don't know a single female that has walked away from a one night stand and thought "wow.. Awesome". Haha. Men? Yes. Women? Nope.


I did! I was really happy. And then my friend pointed out that oral sex isn't necessarily safe sex. But, barring any potential STI's I contracted (and I doubt I did)...it was awesome. XD


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## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

People look down on one night stands because they think it's cheap and not classy, but not all one night stands are between complete strangers. It could be between two people were hooked up by their friends. 

You could always try to see if there's a romantic connection afterward to see if there's a chance of a relationship.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

diamondheart89 said:


> Leaving the emotional bit aside, what would I even get out of them? Not like a random guy can magically please you when he doesn't know what you like and what you don't, most of them barely know how to use what they've got anyway. -_-


Hope of the guy sticking around.

Most women will attest that you need to be really hot for them to consider sleeping with you right away. That's an opportunity. Throw sex at the hot guy and hope he sticks around. Since he is hot he has so many options that he wouldn't waste time dating someone ordinary looking. So skip the dating and give him what he wants and see if he likes it enough to stick around.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

heroin said:


> Hope of the guy sticking around.
> 
> Most women will attest that you need to be really hot for them to consider sleeping with you right away. That's an opportunity. Throw sex at the hot guy and hope he sticks around. Since he is hot he has so many options that he wouldn't waste time dating someone ordinary looking. So skip the dating and give him what he wants and see if he likes it enough to stick around.


I don't get that because no relationship can last based only on looks or sex. :/ What if he's a complete sh*t otherwise? It seems like a dumb plan. Are there people who really expect this to work? O.O


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## Cletis (Oct 10, 2011)

I'd settle for one right now. :no


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

diamondheart89 said:


> I don't get that because no relationship can last based only on looks or sex. :/ What if he's a complete sh*t otherwise? It seems like a dumb plan. Are there people who really expect this to work? O.O


"He could have at least called" is a common complaint by women after one night stands or "hooking up".

If they weren't looking for something more, there'd be no expectation of a call.


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