# Cognitive restructuring is hard



## Commodore (May 2, 2007)

I learned a bit about cognitive restructuring. I can know acknowledge my false thoughts and I try to think about the new good thoughts but it's so difficult I still think the old ones subconsciously. Does the difficulty disappear over time? Or there's something more than "thinking good thoughts"?


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## CoconutHolder (Oct 13, 2007)

I've always wondered about this myself. I do consciously try to think postitive thought but its hard to "feel" them. I feel like I'm lying to myself sometimes when I'm contradicting how I usually feel.

I'm interested in seeing ppl answers. Good question.


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## Commodore (May 2, 2007)

Another question (which is a bit offtopic) - where can I read about CBT? I have found a lot of places to read about what it IS but I want to know how it's done.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

The requirements for the new thought aren't merely that it be "positive." It has to directly address the irrational thought (some say "negative" here, but "irrational" is more appropriate) with a 100% true alternative, giving you a more realistic viewpoint on the upsetting event.

I wouldn't be able to easily adopt a new view if it wasn't 100% true as well, and that's why it's important for it to be accurate.

With all this being said, I find it difficult initially as well. This is to be expected though. When we've spent nearly a lifetime thinking the same negative loop over and over and over again, it's not going to be easy to change this pattern.

To Commodore: I'm currently reading "When Panic Attacks" by David Burns. It's great so far.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Here are some deeply held beliefs I've found using the vertical arrow/descent technique:

1. Whenever I'm criticized, they're Right in their evaluation.
2. My worth is determined by others' opinions of me.
3. If I'm rejected once, I'll _always_ be rejected in the future.
4. Being rejected means I'm worthless.

I think one reason why I've not been in the dumps is through my avoidance of situations in which I might get rejected. Since I have this belief that being disapproved of or rejected means I'm worthless, then it makes sense that I avoid socially risky situations. I am going to start noticing all the times in which someone's negative evaluation of myself was utterly wrong.

There are immense problems with each of these statements, and it's nice to know I've located some of the core of my irrational beliefs.


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## Nutnutnut (Jun 2, 2007)

I find it to be the easy part. The trick is to not focus on SA. Focus on all sorts of things that help your personal growth, tackle ALL your life issues, try understand your environment, learn about the human psyche, try understand yourself, and so on. Focussing on SA is useless. Focus on yourself as a human.


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## tomcoldaba (Jul 1, 2007)

ardrum said:


> To Commodore: I'm currently reading "When Panic Attacks" by David Burns. It's great so far.


It is a great book. Whenever I have a negative thought I enter it into my Daily Mood Log which I copied from the book.


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## daaaaave (Jan 1, 2007)

How do you recognize your thoughts? Do you write them down as they come to you? How many thoughts per day are you supposed to pick up on? I like the idea behind this, but I'm not sure how to go about doing it.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Hey daaaaave,

I usually notice emotions first, not thoughts. Afterwards, in the mood diary, I can ask myself with each of my feelings, "When I was feeling _____ in (situation), what was I thinking?"

This is one technique of getting a workable idea of what thoughts are leading to embarrassment, shame, anxiety, nervousness, etc.

I can't really do the process justice though with my explanation, compared to how it's described in "When Panic Attacks," which is very thorough.


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## improvedme (Nov 12, 2007)

I'm reading "When Panic Attacks" too, I find it helpful. I have found that when you use logic and reason to your negative thoughts while using CBT it helps reduce the potence of them. It's like killing a monster one bullet at a time, since it takes many bullets to kill it or make it retreat.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Yeah, there's no instant fix with CBT. If it works, it generally takes awhile. I've been feeling quite great despite receiving criticism lately. That's huge.


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## mjatte (Feb 10, 2007)

Nutnutnut said:


> I find it to be the easy part. The trick is to not focus on SA. Focus on all sorts of things that help your personal growth, tackle ALL your life issues, try understand your environment, learn about the human psyche, try understand yourself, and so on. Focussing on SA is useless. Focus on yourself as a human.


yes! this is what has worked for me!


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