# I can't seem to make online friends anymore



## Crimson Lotus (Jul 26, 2013)

I've more or less given up on trying to make friends on real life, I made a huge effort over the last couple of years but I either failed to get close to the people that actually interested me or only got close to those with whom I honestly had nothing in common.

But so much isolation is quite simply no healthy, everyone should have people with whom at least hold some basic, casual conversation.

So why not try online?, quite ironically some years back when my SAD was worse I had such a relatively easy time meeting people online, I just approached someone that I felt was similar to me and most of the time I made a good impression and occasionally I actually made some friends.

But now I can't even contact someone and say: "Hey, you seem interesting, would you be open to chatting one of these days?" without feeling like I'm being a creep or somehow over stepping my boundaries. It's like all my confidence has evaporated even tough deep down I know that if I approach the right people there's a very good chance that I'll make that good impression.

Meh, I guess I just needed to vent this. I'm frustrated with myself.


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## legday (Nov 3, 2013)

i cant help you make friends bcus iseem to have completely forgotten but ill be your online friend bro


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## BadGirl (Jan 6, 2013)

I know what you mean,
On SAS I sometimes feel guilty for not keeping in touch with the lovely people who befriended me,


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

I know how it is. I have a really hard time keeping up with friendships, whether it be online or in real life. Sometimes I feel like I don't have the energy to think out a reply and then just end up ignoring them.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

I've never been able to do it. It's so frustrating it drives a person insane. ****ing isolation.


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## legday (Nov 3, 2013)

RelinquishedHell said:


> I know how it is. I have a really hard time keeping up with friendships, whether it be online or in real life. Sometimes I feel like I don't have the energy to think out a reply and then just end up ignoring them.


THIS!

sometimes even in real life i have an opportunity for interaction but i just dont have the energy/motiation to pursue it, i'd rather listen to Turn On the Lights and lay on my bed thinking about some girl


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## Kakumbus (Mar 27, 2012)

Yea same, been a while since I tried to though.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

I know what you mean x___x I generally just can't be bothered with any of it... I mean, at first I'm eager to make a friend but then I stop being bothered after a few replied between us x__x it didn't use to be like this either... bah...


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## Neo1234 (Mar 6, 2012)

Schierke said:


> I've more or less given up on trying to make friends on real life, I made a huge effort over the last couple of years but I either failed to get close to the people that actually interested me or only got close to those with whom I honestly had nothing in common.
> 
> But so much isolation is quite simply no healthy, everyone should have people with whom at least hold some basic, casual conversation.
> 
> ...


I will be your friend anytime you want  And I know we both would have some amount of common ground to talk about  

PS:You don't seem creep or anything like that to me!


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## Trident44 (Nov 3, 2013)

Wow, literally, I've never joined a forum where I've agreed with so much with what people are going through... that's probably why I have well near 60 posts in one day alone, lol. Feels good being able to relate to peoplle... prior to this I just ranted on Yahoo!Answers and got vague, 3 setence generic replies from people.

I agree with you, fully, OP. You and I are the same age, too. Which I guess has a lot to do with it... I used to really be able to make friends with people online and just talk about ANYTHING with them. I've been chatting online with strangers since around 2003/4 when I was 13.. so exactly a decade ago.

Those were the good days. The days before our recent "social media" age. Before Facebook existed, people on the internet were really nice, and interesting, and unique to talk with online.. I guess me being young and naive might also have a lot to do with it, though.

But sometimes I visit virtual chat sites that I used to spend unhealthy amounts of time on, and I see people who are 5, 6 years younger than me who are just discussing mundane ****, everyone is connected through social media. When I meet new people on there, the first thing they ask for is my Facebook so they can judge me before investing in a friendship - online!

People are just cynical on the internet in general now, too. Prior to the social media boom, not too many people even used the internet... and those who did were pretty nice. Now literally everyone in society uses the internet, and it's just an ugly place now... arguments in any comment section you decide to visit, nastiness, etc. Arguably worse than real life...


I think it mostly has to do with the fact that I'm just grown up now and I just find online friendships pointless... it was a fun thing to toy with when I was young and had the excuse of "making friends with people online because my life hasn't really begun yet".. but there comes a point where you begin to feel pathetic and question why you can't just do it in real life.



Long story short, the receptiveness to interact with random people has vanished ever since the Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/social media boom... people are cliquey, mean-spirited, self-centered, etc. now... they deem any stranger who wants to conversate as a creep. When back in 2005, I can't count the amount of times that I would talk with people throughout the night into the next day.

Websites I used to communicate mainly consisted of Coke Music (defunct), Habbo, and occasionally MMORPG games like Maple Story.


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## caelle (Sep 9, 2008)

Back in the day chatrooms for me were a good source to make friends. I made several of them. But over the years I have lost contact with most. 
And chatrooms now are too trollish and cliquey to really attempt getting to seriously know people. I think I've come to accept that now, even though I still sometimes wish it could be different. 
Oh, I also noticed that over past couple years I have become more and more self conscious and almost too scared to even try to make friends with others. I have been ridiculed and bullied too many times online now, that I feel that I can't even be myself while talking to others. It gets exhausting feeling like I have to watch what I say all the time with people knowing how cruel they can be. So even more reason to give up on finding new friends.


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## JakeBoston1000 (Apr 8, 2008)




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## Guest (Nov 5, 2013)

Kanfusuuruq said:


> I sort of feel like being mates with some people who build things in online games or something. Like garrys mod or one of the minecraft-like games. They tend to be the younger sort though, at least in my gmod experience. So I feel like it's childish a bit, but it could be fun. People bond a bit if they have a common goal and are all working towards something together right?


I agree having a common goal/sharing an activity makes friendship much easier to maintain. :yes

Being very introverted, it IS a challenge for me to maintain relationships; I'd much rather enjoy my alone time, doing my own things. However, I'm lucky to have friends who don't mind that I'm near impossible to contact so long as I meet up with them during the holidays, which is once or twice a year. .__.

The only other times I get to "socialize" is with my roleplay partners. We're bonded by that shared activity. Even if I don't feel like having conversations with them or behaving like a conventional friend, we're still doing something together until I feel like having more personal moments. Otherwise, I'm not into instant messaging, chatting, etc. most of the time.


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