# Ladies - Would you support a man?



## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

Lets say you meet a guy you like but he just sucks at life (And maybe even has a disability besides SA) and can't/won't work outside the home. Let's further say that you have a pretty good job and you're pretty capable of financially supporting the both of you on your own. 

Now one more thing. Let's also say the guy is willing to work inside the home and does his best to keep things clean and help you in every other way.

Basically, you're the breadwinner and he's doing what the housewife used to do. 

What say you?


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## MrGilligan (Apr 29, 2012)

A house husband. Yes. I could deal with that. I don't want to be married, but if I did, I would be okay with this arrangement. Cleaning a house sucks, so that's actually a very good contribution.


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## TheQuietGirl20 (Feb 20, 2012)

I would understand and would help him out as much as I could. Marriage is in sickness and in health. It's a partnership.


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## Bbpuff (Sep 1, 2010)

My mom has been doing this with her boyfriend for over 2 years. He hardly helps around the house..


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I'm not having kids, so I don't really need a house-husband. Maybe if I was making $150,000+ a year and wanted a couple kids but otherwise no.


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## orchidsandviolins (Jul 8, 2011)

like he would cook/clean/take care of the kiddies, sure i guess.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

komorikun said:


> I'm not having kids, so I don't really need a house-husband. Maybe if I was making $150,000+ a year and wanted a couple kids but otherwise no.


 My dad never made more than $50k a year and supported my mother, my sister and I for 30 years. If he'd just been supporting my mom with no kids, I'd say $30k a year would have been sufficient. But they never bought a house or anything. This was full time renting.

The place where I was born had a horrible economy and basically no jobs. Once we moved to a different state, he got a pretty OK job. We definitely didn't live like royalty but it wasn't bad at all and could have been better if they had been better at managing money and making financial choices.

They wasted a lot of money and still did OK. Not to mention the expense of having kids.

I think only having one income is only really a problem if the pay is drastically low. If the breadwinner is college educated and makes decent money, there's no real reason it couldn't work. It just wouldn't be Beverly Hills living (or anything like it)


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

MrGilligan said:


> A house husband.


 I was gonna use that term but didn't for whatever reason. :lol


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

PickleNose said:


> My dad never made more than $50k a year and supported my mother, my sister and I for 30 years. If he'd just been supporting my mom with no kids, I'd say $30k a year would have been sufficient. But they never bought a house or anything. This was full time renting.
> 
> The place where I was born had a horrible economy and basically no jobs. Once we moved to a different state, he got a pretty OK job. We definitely didn't live like royalty but it wasn't bad at all and could have been better if they had been better at managing money and making financial choices.
> 
> ...


Rent is sky high in most of coastal California. The 3 bedroom apartment I live in is over $2000 a month. This is actually very cheap for this area. I could only see supporting someone if I could live well on my salary, not just get by. I want to be able to travel abroad at least once preferably twice a year.

I would also need to have a true need for a house-husband. If you don't have kids it's really not necessary. I'm not real big on home-cooked meals and I don't care if the house is kind of messy.


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## KiwiGirl (Nov 13, 2011)

Yes I would.


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## Fruitcake (Jan 19, 2012)

Yeah I think so. Only if I enjoyed my job though. If I was working hard at a job I disliked then I'd feel bitter about someone else using my money. Even if I loved them.
I like the idea of being cooked for every night.  Maybe he could make a vege garden so we can save money and learn to do work around the house so we don't have to pay for specialists. It'd be nice if he was working towards being more confident though, not just accepting his position and doing nothing about it.

My mum makes much more than my dad and has supported him through bouts of unemployment and when he was hardly making any money. She still did lots of work around the house though.

And this is kind of irrelevant to the question but my boyfriend and I had both been unemployed for ages until recently and he would use a lot of my money because I had saved mine up and he spent his benefit money on cigarettes, weed and gambling. He didn't help me out any more than I helped him out and he wasn't doing anything to try to get a job for ages while I was. I'm asking him to pay me back the money he borrowed, about $1000, because at the time I didn't want him thinking he could waste my money and not have to pay it back. I'm not sure if I'm being mean or not when we've been together almost two years and some people might say I should just let him use my money but I'd feel bad when I have a really hard time working and finding work too.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

komorikun said:


> Rent is sky high in most of coastal California. The 3 bedroom apartment I live in is over $2000 a month. This is actually very cheap for this area. I could only see supporting someone if I could live well on my salary, not just get by. I want to be able to travel abroad at least once preferably twice a year. I would also need to have a true need for a house-husband. If you don't have kids it's really not necessary. I'm not real big on home-cooked meals and I don't care if the house is kind of messy.


 I see. I'm pretty much a hermit so I don't know how realistic that is but it doesn't sound too realistic. My sister and her husband both make around $50 an hour and even they can't afford to live like that. Of course, they chose to buy a house. If they were renting, they would be paying around $600 a month for a reasonably nice place around here. They'd have a lot more money. Still, I don't know if they could afford to travel that often. Not to mention the fact that real jobs aren't just going to let people go running off twice a year (Not to mention the logistics of scheduling it so both people are off at the same time twice a year). My sister is lucky if she can get a Saturday off. It's a good job but it takes as much as it gives.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

PickleNose said:


> I see. I'm pretty much a hermit so I don't know how realistic that is but it doesn't sound too realistic. My sister and her husband both make around $50 an hour and even they can't afford to live like that. Of course, they chose to buy a house. If they were renting, they would be paying around $600 a month for a reasonably nice place around here. They'd have a lot more money. Still, I don't know if they could afford to travel that often. Not to mention the fact that real jobs aren't just going to let people go running off twice a year (Not to mention the logistics of scheduling it so both people are off at the same time twice a year). My sister is lucky if she can get a Saturday off. It's a good job but it takes as much as it gives.


Yeah, maybe it is unrealistic time wise. I'm still trying to figure out what sort of career I'm going into. It just kills me to think of only having 2 weeks vacation a year.

$600 for a house or a 3 bedroom apartment? That is so cheap. I pay $650 for a small room and I have to share the bathroom with 2 other people. I'm not even living in a happening part of town. It's almost outside of SF.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

komorikun said:


> $600 for a house or a 3 bedroom apartment? That is so cheap.


 I don't know how much houses rent for around here. The $600 would be a 2 bedroom apartment probably. Actually, it's been awhile since I checked on prices. I doubt they've gone up much. A 3 bedroom apartment would probably be around $900 for a nice one. Maybe a little more depending on the exact area. I guess you'd pay more to live close to all the conveniences.

SF has pretty good public transit, no? That might be worth some of the extra expense. Here, if you don't have a car, you're SOL. You're walking ten miles to get anywhere. And we don't even have sidewalks.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Now do a poll where you reverse the genders.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

arnie said:


> Now do a poll where you reverse the genders.


 Why?


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## Ashley1990 (Aug 27, 2011)

Yeah i am a rude women..i want my man to work for me....thats my honest reply


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

PickleNose said:


> Why?


Because I enjoy seeing how the opposite gender answers the same questions.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

arnie said:


> Because I enjoy seeing how the opposite gender answers the same questions.


 Well, it's your idea. I wasn't going to. Go ahead.


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## Cletis (Oct 10, 2011)

Mr. Mom? 

Depends on the woman. Some women wouldn't touch a guy like you described with a 10-foot pole. Others wouldn't mind. My mother stayed home and my dad worked but he had a good job and a substantial inheritance (from his father) so they could swing it.

If you find a woman like this, ask her if she has a sister.


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## SweetNSour82 (Dec 19, 2011)

I would have to say yes considering my husband does exactly that for me. Plus I hate cleaning!!


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

PickleNose said:


> Lets say you meet a guy you like but he just sucks at life (And maybe even has a disability besides SA) and can't/won't work outside the home.


So how would we even meet?


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

No, I wouldn't support a house husband.


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## SoWrongItsRight (May 9, 2012)

I would if he really couldn't work and actually did well around the house. I'd have to be makin baller money


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## Who (Jul 29, 2010)

Yea if I make enough and he's a real good guy.


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

mark101 said:


> I would be a willing househusband I'm a little OCDish with cleaning so your house would be spotless.I'd drop you and pick you up from work and i'm a pretty good cook.
> Apply within via PM


You sold me on the drop off and pick up at work. Are you willing to move to the US? And how are your snow shoveling skills?


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## northstar1991 (Oct 4, 2011)

Sure I'd be happy with it as long as he did household chores and was supportive in every other way.


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## xTKsaucex (Jun 23, 2010)

As a guy I would feel ashamed to be in such a position but thats as I don't like being a charity case even if its for the best. There are some who will have to resort to this and that's ok, life isn't plain sailing, just as long as they help whoever supports them in the best way possible.


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

mark101 said:


> I'd be happy to move to the US and my snow shoveling skills are the envy of the whole street
> Will you be requiring children?


No children, but I hope you have experience caring for felines one of whom takes his breakfast at 3:30am.


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

mark101 said:


> Sweet,i'm done with the idea of myself having children now but i am animal friendly
> Are you sure he needs to take his breakfast at 3.30am?


With a midnight snack he might let you sleep until 4:00.


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## MoniqueS (Feb 21, 2011)

I have to say no for a few reasons. 

1) I barely have enough money to support myself and do not envision myself ever bringing in a huge income since I basically plan to have a survival job to make what I need to live and write on the side. 

2) I do not believe in marriage personally and only ever want to be in a relationship solely because we are love and he greatly improves my quality of life. When you bring in other factors such as finances it makes it that much more challenging to leave if it isn't working out. I don't want to ever feel stuck in a relationship or have the other person feel that way.


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## Tangerine (Feb 16, 2010)

Agh, made a post, but I guess it didn't go through. 

I would, I think it's kinda cute. I also have a hard time cleaning, so that would work. (Although I wouldn't make him do all the cleaning ^.^) Maybe I'll buy him a knitting set so I can come home to new scarves and stuff. 

Hopefully though, he wouldn't be staying home out of depression, and shutting himself in bed all day. That wouldn't be cool. He would have to be trying to improve, or just like being stay at home. :3


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

It really depends on the woman.


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

I don't think I would really like being a house husband, not only will I feel lazy and noncontributing but I feel as my pride would not let me be taken care of by the opposite sex. I just wouldn't do it, especially since a divorce for a guy can be extremely risky, considering the bias in the work community where a man who hasn't worked for most of his life is looked down upon. Even if they offered, it's just not me.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

OKAY, LADIES!

If you said "No way!", are single, and age 30-35........PM ME NOW! :lol


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

mark101 said:


> Oh that's big of him lol,can i not just put his breakfast down after his midnight feast so i can go bed and he can get up when he chooses for his brekkie?


Clearly you don't have much experience with cats. :b


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

Tangerine said:


> Agh, made a post, but I guess it didn't go through.
> 
> I would, I think it's kinda cute. I also have a hard time cleaning, so that would work. (Although I wouldn't make him do all the cleaning ^.^) Maybe I'll buy him a knitting set so I can come home to new scarves and stuff.
> 
> *Hopefully though, he wouldn't be staying home out of depression, and shutting himself in bed all day. That wouldn't be cool. He would have to be trying to improve, or just like being stay at home. :3*


 Well, judging from a lot of posts from guys around here, a big part of their depression is loneliness. I've seen many posts by people who say they like staying at home but hate not having any companions.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

rednosereindeer said:


> So how would we even meet?


 I don't know. How do you normally meet people?


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## KelsKels (Oct 4, 2011)

Well if I was capable and making enough money, yes. I really dont have a problem with it because I know what its like to suck at life lol. Unfortunately Im the one that needs supporting at this point though


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

I have to say I'm impressed by the poll results so far. It's not that I was prejudiced exactly. Or maybe I was. I expected a lot more nos.


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## Bunyip (Feb 6, 2012)

I say yes. .... In fact, I think I may be particularly fond of the idea.


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## forbidden (Oct 25, 2011)

Ive already been in this situation with my bf...yes, i would and do support a man.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

mark101 said:


> What's the interest in the ones who say No Way! ?


I don't want to be financially supported.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

millenniumman75 said:


> I don't want to be financially supported.


 That's great. Really. But some people have to be. For some of us, this is probably our only hope.


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## Ventura (May 5, 2009)

I don't wannna feel like im carrying dead weight around and I'm doin' all the work. I'd rather us both be doing *something*


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## MsDaisy (Dec 27, 2011)

Yes!!!! This is exactly the arrangement I'd want. It sucks to come home to cleaning, cooking, yard work and the emptiness I feel preparing a meal for one. Plus I feel so guilty leaving my pets alone all day while I work. Paying my handy-man for odd jobs around the house is expensive also. 

Once upon a time, for a short while, I did have a boyfriend that stayed home. He would clean once in a while, but most of the time he'd sleep till noon, watched soaps, and drank a lot of beer. I still had to do the yard work and cook dinner myself. I felt like I was doing everything, and he was living the life I always wanted. He was a lot of extra work for me, and I realized that its just easier, and cheaper living without him.


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## Ventura (May 5, 2009)

mark101 said:


> Having somebody stay home to take care of everything can be a big help tho,if you loved somebody and they couldn't work you wouldn't see it as carrying dead weight surely?


Right... No kids... and my eating style is vegan- so, cocking takes 2 minutes + 5 minute clean up. And doing laundry once a week. A quick vacuum around the house or apartment daily :stu compared to someone who is working 9 hours a day?

I don't know being a "stay at home" anything seems pretty lame/ boring. I'd rather get out and do stuff.


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## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

Yeah, sure..especially when he's really in need.

If it was up to someone like my dad, he would want me to find a man who can financially support himself alone and the family. Recently had a situation where I provided money for a guy, and got scolded by him for doing it cos of that reason. I'm just too much of a nice and accepting person and understand the feeling of having a suckish life I guess..


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## Ventura (May 5, 2009)

mark101 said:


> I'd like that more than anything and i did it for 17yrs but i have this thing called anxiety that kinda stops me nowadays


 :squeeze

Sometimes a partner can help you "push" you to get past your fears. idk, if a guy was dating had anxiety problems, I would not leave because of the "supporting him"- but, I'd push for him to try to at least seek help with me for anxiety problems, to work threw them.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

*WARNING: this may be 'too long; didn't read'*

I'm not sure if I would or not. I think that if he had to give up work after we were together, I would support him, but I really don't think I would be willing to get into a serious relationship with someone in that situation.

I wouldn't want to be dependent myself, so I wouldn't really want someone else to be dependent on me. If I was a housewife, I think I would feel resentful and unequal to the breadwinner... I think I would feel like I was trapped in the relationship, because I wouldn't have the financial independence to leave if I wanted to. And if I was a breadwinner, I think I might start to feel like the househusband was a millstone around my neck who didn't earn his own keep if standards at home started to slip and he seemed to be spending all his time on leisure. Running a home is a job in itself, so I don't mean to sound like I'm not respectful of housewives/househusbands, but I just think that there's so much work on both sides of the equation, that someone will always feel as if they're doing more work than the other. Especially if children are involved. I think you'd have to be a very patient, trusting person to have a proper partnership where the two sides complement each other, and to be honest,_ I am really not a good team player._

I think I'm just pessimistic because my parents used to have an arrangement like this and I've seen firsthand all the problems and resentment it can cause. My dad doesn't have SA or anything like that, just prioritised drinking over working and has less education than my mother so it didn't make sense for him to be the breadwinner anyway. All that ended up happening was that my mother would work long hours, then come home and still have to do most of the cooking and housework. About 10 years ago when my mother lost her job and got very depressed, my dad got a job, quit it after about six months and didn't get another one. Our financial situation since has meant we've lost a lot of things, but the one thing that hasn't changed is my dad's drinking even at times when it really couldn't be afforded, and I feel like the whole household has slid into apathy. I know other people's experiences are probably very different and a lot of this is specific to my own family, but I just wouldn't want to risk something similar happening to me.

I just feel like a relationship where one person is financially responsible for the other is asking for trouble, because even if one salary is big enough to support the family _right now_, it's not necessarily going to stay that way. Basically, I would support someone for a short time, but they would have to be actively looking to recover and find a job. I wouldn't tolerate it for very long, I don't think, because it's just too risky.

It's interesting looking at this in the context of gender roles, though. When I first read the OP's post, I had this instinctive negative gut instinct. Then I caught myself. I still ended up feeling negatively about it, but for logical reasons that would apply just as much if it was a female partner. I try hard to be conscious about this kind of thing, but it just shows how difficult it is to shake off the prejudices that have been socially programmed into you.


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## Tangerine (Feb 16, 2010)

PickleNose said:


> Well, judging from a lot of posts from guys around here, a big part of their depression is loneliness. I've seen many posts by people who say they like staying at home but hate not having any companions.


Yeah, I think that's why I clarified. I prefer to be around those who are at a place in their life where they are making effort to improve their lives, in whatever ways!


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

PickleNose said:


> Lets say you meet a guy you like but he just sucks at life (And maybe even has a disability besides SA) and can't/won't work outside the home. Let's further say that you have a pretty good job and you're pretty capable of financially supporting the both of you on your own.
> 
> Now one more thing. Let's also say the guy is willing to work inside the home and does his best to keep things clean and help you in every other way.
> 
> ...


Unequivocally yes. Please sign me up for a man like this. And a good job!

You have just described my dream life.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

PickleNose said:


> That's great. Really. But some people have to be. For some of us, this is probably our only hope.





Ventura said:


> I don't wannna feel like im carrying dead weight around and I'm doin' all the work. I'd rather us both be doing *something*


I don't want a Peggy Bundy wife. She has to do something, and I don't mean that it has to be my job. She has to help raise my kids.


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## NatureFellow (Jun 14, 2011)

WEW I'm soo surprised at how many women would consider this.
SAS Forums, breaking social stereotypes on a daily basis :um


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

I'd prefer a man who works hard at what he does. I once dated a lawyer who was the top biller in his company. Yet he spent most of the day e-mailing or texting me. But hey, at least he was ambitious. I refuse to support a lazy guy who chooses not go to school or work. I could understand temporarily supporting a husband who lost his job and was looking for a new one. But I am going to be too successful to keep a bum around.


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## RavenDust (May 2, 2012)

No, not unless he had some sort of actual diability or handicap. I would want a man who acts like a big boy. Of course, if he couldn't be responsible and act like an adult I wouldn't even be with him in the first place.


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## Cletis (Oct 10, 2011)

OK. Let's change the circumstances a little bit, ladies.

Let's say you could choose between an incredible looking guy (six-pack abs, nice butt, the whole package) but he's a bum. All he does is workout all day. Doesn't have a job and doesn't want one, doesn't have a fancy education or anything.

OR

A really ambitious guy with a great job, six-figure salary, fantastic work ethic, nice all-around guy who has never had so much as a traffic ticket in his life. Only problem is...he's ugly as hell.

Which do you choose? Do you take the handsome stud that you'll have to support for life OR the hardworking successful ugly guy that can buy you anything you want?


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

laura024 said:


> I'd prefer a man who works hard at what he does. I once dated a lawyer who was the top biller in his company. Yet he spent most of the day e-mailing or texting me. But hey, at least he was ambitious. I refuse to support a lazy guy who chooses not go to school or work. I could understand temporarily supporting a husband who lost his job and was looking for a new one. But I am going to be too successful to keep a bum around.


 So all the women of the past who were housewives were lazy bums?


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

PickleNose said:


> So all the women of the past who were housewives were lazy?


No, that's not what I'm saying. If women prefer to be housewives, I have no problem with that. My mom raised two kids by herself on a disability check and she worked really hard. I respect that. If men want to be stay-at-home dads, that's fine. You know, whatever they and their partner agree to/need. But I would rather have a man who works. I would see him as lazy *if *he was capable of doing something productive for society but chose not to.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

Cletis said:


> OK. Let's change the circumstances a little bit, ladies.
> 
> Let's say you could choose between an incredible looking guy (six-pack abs, nice butt, the whole package) but he's a bum. All he does is workout all day. Doesn't have a job and doesn't want one, doesn't have a fancy education or anything.
> 
> ...


Prefer to be forever alone.

But if you forced me at gunpoint?

Hot dude.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Cletis said:


> OK. Let's change the circumstances a little bit, ladies.
> 
> Let's say you could choose between an incredible looking guy (six-pack abs, nice butt, the whole package) but he's a bum. All he does is workout all day. Doesn't have a job and doesn't want one, doesn't have a fancy education or anything.
> 
> ...


Something in-between would be preferable.

I could be married to the rich guy if he didn't mind me sleeping with other guys. The poor guy I would not trust. I think he would cheat.


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## MsDaisy (Dec 27, 2011)

I say, we ditch guys altogether, and everybody become lesbians.


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

MsDaisy said:


> I say, we ditch guys altogether, and everybody become lesbians.












I'm in.


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## Mirror (Mar 16, 2012)

I doubt I could live like that for a long period of time before I said enough is enough. It must suck for guys having to do that. Sorry. I guess..


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

laura024 said:


> But I would rather have a man who works. I would see him as lazy *if *he was capable of doing something productive for society but chose not to.


 If only it were as simple as a choice for everyone. Unfortunately, reproduction isn't an assembly line process. There are often defective units.


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## regimes (Aug 24, 2011)

Yes if I married him and the problem didn't exist prior to meeting him/falling in love with him.
No if it existed before because I don't need another me in my life. I need someone that encourages me and isn't as gloomily withdrawn as I am. I also tend to be more attracted to independent, self-sufficient types- just because I admire independence in every person, whether attracted to them romantically or not- and because I want to be independent and self-sufficient myself.

Course if I was already head over heels I wouldn't mind. I'd have no problem with him being a house husband, but I probably would if he had no prior job experience or education (at that point I'd probably just see him as a loafer). Though it would be awesome if he cooked, seeing as my best experience with that is making no-bake cheesecake and microwaving pizza bagels.

And of course this is just my personal opinion, obviously I do not represent the entire heterosexual female population.



PickleNose said:


> If only it were as simple as a choice for everyone. Unfortunately, reproduction isn't an assembly line process. There are often defective units.


They said productive, not *re*productive.. ahaha.


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## leave me alone (Apr 1, 2011)

Surprising results. I would never believe women like _you_ (those who voted "yes") exist. I am sure a lot of guys are happy to hear this - not because they are lazy bums, but because social anxiety can be a legit reason for someone not to have a stable job.

As for myself, I would feel quite ashamed to be in this position, even if the girl assured me it is "ok". But I am 24yo guy who never had a proper job, so what can I say.


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

mark101 said:


> Yup and the defective units aren't wanted in this world,natural selection will see to it that the vulnerable people who can't function in society will die alone,especially if they are males who can't step up to the plate.


No. People who are bitter and very pessimistic might die alone, but only because others don't like to be around that attitude.


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

mark101 said:


> Who is talking about bitter and pessimistic people? Is that your take on depression and social anxiety?


No. Anyone can be bitter and pessimistic, mentally ill or not. Actually, bitterness and pessimism often perpetuate or lead to depression & SA. My point is that if you think you can, you will, if you think you can't, you won't. You need to start to believe in yourself. It's all about perspective.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

laura024 said:


> I'm in.












Thirded.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

Cletis said:


> OK. Let's change the circumstances a little bit, ladies.
> 
> Let's say you could choose between an incredible looking guy (six-pack abs, nice butt, the whole package) but he's a bum. All he does is workout all day. Doesn't have a job and doesn't want one, doesn't have a fancy education or anything.
> 
> ...


Oooh, that's a tough one. Let's do this assuming Life Without SA, because otherwise, let's be real, I wouldn't end up with either of these guys.

The hot guy - I'd hit it 'n' quit it. Definitely.

The ugly guy - can't say either way. I don't really care how hardworking he is if he's not super-compatible with me. If I really liked him otherwise then his salary would be a bonus, but it wouldn't really count for anything in its own right. I'd rather be earning that kind of money myself... and even if I wasn't, I don't really have expensive tastes anyway.


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## Toppington (Oct 26, 2011)

I don't know if I could accept living like that. Not because of a sense of stubborn pride or anything. I'd just feel guilty while she was working. Even if I contributed a lot between cleaning, cooking, etc. I'd just feel bad for living off of her money. I already feel guilty knowing I probably won't be out of my parents' hair for another 3 or 4 years unless I end up living on campus at college. The idea of this on it's own just makes me feel so guilty for some reason.


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## nonesovile (Dec 4, 2011)

I wouldn't mind a female dominant relationship, actually i'd like it, I love the idea of the woman being in charge. But I couldn't sit at home not working while she was. Just the idea of me not working while other people are struggling to make a living everday would make me feel guilty. Maybe if I could just live in her house and let her drive me around :/ but i'd have to work, even though i'm a lazy *******.


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## Cletis (Oct 10, 2011)

MsDaisy said:


> I say, we ditch guys altogether, and everybody become lesbians.


I'm a male lesbian. :blank


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

Nope. Would not work for me!


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

And to add to that...if he became disabled or something after I'd started dating him, after marrying or whatever... And absolutely couldn't work....but was drawing disability/making his own income.. Then yes I could deal with that.(or even if he were already disabled and had his own income when we met)... But as for anything else? **** no. I've put up with way too many piece of **** lazy good for nothing guys in my lifetime. I sure as hell don't need anymore like that. No more lazy guys bumming off me, that's bull****. I'd rather just be alone than go through that again.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

Don't see why not. Just so long as he pulls his own weight in other ways. Would suck if the other person was completely useless, wouldn't be much point to it xD


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Um no, lol. Because then, what would be the difference between the husband and a child? He'd be doing chores and receiving an allowance, as if he were my son.

If he was unemployed, he'd at least have to be looking for a job. Even if he didn't find a job immediately, the effort of him looking would mean a lot to me. My mom has been supporting our family for years, and it doesn't really seem fair to me. I wouldn't settle for being a housewife either. I like the idea of being able to support myself. I feel like people in a relationship should pull an equal weight.

If he had a disability (besides SA), that would be different though...



nonesovile said:


> Just the idea of me not working while other people are struggling to make a living everday would make me feel guilty. Maybe if I could just live in her house and let her drive me around :/ but i'd have to work, even though i'm a lazy *******.


Yeah, that's why I couldn't be a housewife.


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

Not reading all posts in thread but I could understand this if you're married with a kid, but not otherwise because then you would just be someones gimp. How could you live with that? lol


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## st3phanie (May 18, 2012)

Yes and been there and did it for 6 years. My husband has some processing and social challenges, but he really wanted to work.

Then he was able to find a job that he could do and like. At that time I continued to work. That was hard! I missed him walking me out and kissing me goodbye as I drove off to work, and I really missed him taking care of the home and having dinner on the table. I actually cried several times when he had to leave for work, because I really enjoyed having him home while I was at work, and taking such good care of home stuff (he thrives on routines) 

Now our roles are totally reversed; he works and I stay at home. The transition was hard, because he would tell me how to do chores and such, but we are finally better about things, but it really took some getting used to. :b


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

mezzoforte said:


> Um no, lol. Because then, what would be the difference between the husband and a child? He'd be doing chores and receiving an allowance, as if he were my son.
> 
> If he was unemployed, he'd at least have to be looking for a job. Even if he didn't find a job immediately, the effort of him looking would mean a lot to me. My mom has been supporting our family for years, and it doesn't really seem fair to me. I wouldn't settle for being a housewife either. I like the idea of being able to support myself. I feel like people in a relationship should pull an equal weight.


This.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

ABSOLUTELY NOT! We both need to work to support eachother.


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## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

Another hypothetical: suppose the man *does* work, but can only work part time (no more than 15 hours a week), and has pretty strong limitations on jobs he could do if he, by any chance, loses his current one?


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## Jinxx (May 10, 2011)

Yes. My boyfriend has Epilepsy so I already see myself doing my share if things work out in the long run.


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