# What are you doing to improve your life or self image?



## Socialmisfits (May 14, 2021)

Since about 2 months I try to be more positive instead of putting myself down all the time. I started taking daily walks of about 90 minutes which I really enjoy. It is time well spend which I otherwise would spend on my Ipad. I switch it up sometimes with a 40 to 60 min work out on a home trainer. It is not as fun as walking but the massive sweating surely makes me feel like I am achieving something.
It is too early to tell if my stamina has improved but I feel more positive after each work out and to be honest I look forward to do it as well.
Who knows maybe my belly will disappear, though I probably have to follow a diet for that. It is not that I am fat, far from but my belly is definitely growing. I’m curious to find out if I have lost weight by the time I go to the doctor at the end of the month.

On my walks I try to acknowledge other people by saying hi or by nodding at them. Sometimes you receive a smile, a smile is the equivalent of a sunbeam on your face. It feels warm and healthy to smile and receive smiles. Yesterday I met a man walking his dog, the dog was very old and he could barely move. Still the dog wanted to greet me and came over to me for cuddles. Dogs are so brave, they put aside their pain to get to know a stranger. We had a brief chat, friendly guy, I could tell he will miss his dog a lot when he dies in a couple of weeks.

When on the home trainer I usually listen to music so the time moves faster. Last time Bruce Springsteens’s “Bobby Jean” started playing. I never really paid attention to it in the past but suddenly I felt every word he sang. I got goosebumps and the hairs on my body stood up as if they wanted to give a standing ovation. I thought it was a magical moment, it gave me a well needed shot of adrenaline. Lyrically it is about an old friend he wanted to pay a visit but she ran away from home, he then reminisces time spend together and he concludes with the words:
“And I'm just calling you one last time
Not to change your mind, but just to say I miss you, baby
Good luck, goodbye, Bobby Jean”.
After that it was not only sweat that rolled down my face but also tears because it was so beautiful, it was tears and a smile.

Those small moments are fuel to my life right now, it is not only doom and gloom, there is beauty to be found in the small things. I must never forget that.


----------



## Mousey9 (Dec 27, 2012)

I’ve also found exercise to be the best treatment for depression. I know that working out is like the last thing that anyone with depression wants to do but once you get to the point where it becomes habit, you’ll find it easier to cope and get out of a rut if/when you relapse.


----------



## truant (Jul 4, 2014)




----------



## rabidfoxes (Apr 17, 2016)

I love your descriptions, especially the one about the dog. I've made similar changes to you at some point.

Re: what you said about being positive instead of putting yourself down. I also cut out negging at some point and it was hugely beneficial. Whilst I was never overly negative about myself, my moods go up and down. When I was on a low ebb I would try to push myself by telling myself not to be so lazy which would inevitably end up badly. Now when I'm on a low, I make a cup of tea and cut myself some slack. I also don't allow other people to neg themselves in front of me, even as a joke. Self-deprecatory humour is big in England but it often hides insecurities (along the lines of "if I laugh at myself then you can't laugh at me or pity me because you can see how SECURE I am about this thing that secretly is bothering me so much").


----------



## Greenmacaron (Jul 20, 2019)

I am exercising as I feel good and better about myself after working up a sweat. Trying to eat more fruit and vegetables too as processed junk makes me feel like crap.

I'm also doing further education and cpd courses to work on my mind as well as the body.

Finally, meditation. I know some people aren't so keen, but for me it focuses the mind and I can be away from the world for a while 😇


----------



## anna banana is reading (Jul 15, 2021)

Socialmisfits said:


> Since about 2 months I try to be more positive instead of putting myself down all the time. I started taking daily walks of about 90 minutes which I really enjoy. It is time well spend which I otherwise would spend on my Ipad. I switch it up sometimes with a 40 to 60 min work out on a home trainer. It is not as fun as walking but the massive sweating surely makes me feel like I am achieving something.
> It is too early to tell if my stamina has improved but I feel more positive after each work out and to be honest I look forward to do it as well.
> Who knows maybe my belly will disappear, though I probably have to follow a diet for that. It is not that I am fat, far from but my belly is definitely growing. I’m curious to find out if I have lost weight by the time I go to the doctor at the end of the month.
> 
> ...


Joining a sport does wonders for your confidence. If you are too nervous for a group sport like basketball or soccer, try table tennis or tennis or badminton. It really boosts your self image to get really good at it, and will boost it even more if you eventually win medals.


----------



## CNikki (Aug 9, 2013)

I don't want to disclose too much since much of what I am currently aiming for is of no guarantee (and not to mention will likely be gradual.) But to put a positive spin, where I currently work has for the past few days put me down more than normal to the point that the stress was becoming unbearable. It made/makes me question on what I am even trying to do with myself, if what I want to do is something that is suitable in the first place, and how I am planning to go from point A (which includes the current job) to point B (where I am wanting to find a new occupation.) Went out on a walk with the children I teach, and literally someone was blasting Rocky Balboa's motivational speech to his son about moving forward. Admittedly, sometimes I use that video after having rough days where I let anger towards myself and potentially others get the best of me (and I'm not one for motivational speeches seem obviously over the top and staged, but a movie scene like that felt different.) Today it felt like a sign that someone put it in their car with the windows open so that other people can hear it. I want to try being more conscious about how I deal with immediate stressors and how I can properly outlet them even if what triggers it seems unjustifiable.


----------



## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

Not very much really but I'm starting a new therapist soon, will be interesting to talk to him. Most of the time I just deal with whatever happens to be the problem that day.

On a more positive not I do have my finances in a much better position - which is not something I ever thought I could say. So when we can travel again I can at least do it more safely and comfortably.


----------



## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

Quite a bit.☺


----------



## jojy1 (May 31, 2021)

I’m doing a lot too. I’m just so sick of this controlling me. My days are full of stress and anxiety because of what I’m doing to help myself, but it is getting easier, I’ve had glimpses of absolutely no anxiety and it felt really good so I’ll keep going with it. I’m catching my anxieties and distortions as I go and working with them a lot


----------



## Socialmisfits (May 14, 2021)

I had a walk at a steady pace for 1 hour and 45 minutes today. It even feels to short, still feel fit as a fiddle afterwards, since I have now embraced the positive thinking lifestyle I think I’m going to run a marathon tomorrow


----------



## alwaysrunning (Sep 7, 2019)

I sometimes want to do somethings and then I get the thought "what will people think?!". Then my mood drops. Why do I want to fit in with people that I do not fit in with? This is just an empty existence. Whenever I get this thought " what will people think" I have promised myself that I am going to have to go and just do whatever it is now.


----------



## Socialmisfits (May 14, 2021)

alwaysrunning said:


> I sometimes want to do somethings and then I get the thought "what will people think?!"


Yeah I have that too. When you are not very social and often at home people will always react surprised when you change something about your routine but it is only temporary. People will adapt to your new choices and so will you.

Since I started doing walks and cycling my parents started asking annoying questions like “ are you finally looking for a girl” and “ are you dieting or something”. They don’t expect that sometimes people like us try to change their life for the better but we have every right to try!
But anyway I’m a month in now and they don’t pose questions anymore, they even take into account that I might be out the house at certain hours which they never done before.

So yes people will think and judge but you have to do it for yourself not for anyone else.


----------



## strange_world (Jul 13, 2021)

Congratulations to everybody making positive changes and getting things done.

I'm currently trying to make small easy changes that are the groundwork for bigger stuff later. The final goal is trying to make friends again. That's a really long way off right now though.
I gave up video games a few days ago. I deleted all my games which I've wasted so much time on over the years.

I've been on a diet for a week. I have exercises to help with anxiety to practice now. I'm practicing my guitar daily though I'm still pretty bad. I read a book for the first time in years yesterday - 'The Prophet' by Khalil Gibran.

I'm giving up coffee. That may seem a minor thing but it should really help with my anxiety.


----------



## alwaysrunning (Sep 7, 2019)

I have just asked two people if they would provide references for me to volunteer in a charity shop. It was about a year ago when I went for the induction and I kinda freaked out a bit and left. I just imagined at the time that I will be too slow, that I will shut down and not want to speak, people will steal stuff and it will be my fault. I also did not want to have to ask for references as what if I started working there and then could not continue/ couldn't face people, keep up the social aspect. My job will find out I just left again. I just need more things in my life. This and returning to college is a start. I just gotta hold them down and think "when you think about quitting remember why you started" and "keep calm and carry on".


----------



## Zatch (Apr 28, 2013)

I'm not sure what much changed in the last year or so but I am on a massive upswing with regard to my confidence. I have taken back up a lot of the hobbies I dropped as a result of alcoholism and depression spanning most of the last ten years.

Since my hospital stint last year my mental has been pushing me strongly to not end up feeling that low again. I've almost entirely cut out substances (I still drink socially, but I want to lessen that even more) and now I'm doing better than I ever imagined for myself growing up at this point. It's a very surprising change of pace and I aim to make full use of it.


----------



## RSxo (Apr 19, 2018)

Make more time to live. I've working so much lately that I find I don't get time to do other things I love. So I'm trying to set boundaries with work so that I can have that important time to meet people and pick hobbies back up again


----------

