# Unemployed Hermit



## scruffy67 (Jun 6, 2014)

8 months ago I was laid off from a customer service job I'd held for 13 years. Customer service wasn't horrible bad for me since I had a basic script to follow and there isn't a lot of down time to worry about socializing with the coworkers. I was getting kind of burned out on it, though. 

Unfortunately, I am still unemployed. The on-line job hunt has been a God-send for me because it feels like I'm doing something without having to talk to people. I've had interviews, though no offers.

I've been told that I'll never get a job unless I network. Is this really true? I was left some money and live with my mother, but on my own, my savings will only go a few years. I'm middle aged but still have a good 20 years before retirement. Can you tell how much I hate and fear the idea of networking? It's easier for me to think of living in my car with my cats and their litter boxes in the not too distant future than ever networking. 

How is job hunting done these days with social phobia? Can you get a job without having to schmooze and socialize? Or are we all SOL?


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## ICat (Jul 21, 2012)

I think it depends a lot on the field where you look for a job. In my experience I've been getting job offers without any networking whatsoever (I am engineering major), I just find a job on Monster or similar site, apply online, then they usually ask to do some test and some technical interview. And if I answer correctly they come back with an offer. Socializing is usually limited to "hi how are you" and just making sure you are not an obnoxious person.
I think networking can certainly expand your options, maybe in other fields it's just harder to find any job openings without knowing the right people? But afaik it isn't much of game changer in my field.
Just my 2c


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## greengirl (Apr 7, 2014)

Agree with ICat. It sure might help to be able to network although I know very few people who can do it. But I think at the end what matters the most is what you have in your resume and how you present yourself at the interview. And since you have been invited to some interviews, you should probably work on your interviews skills. It might be useful to contact some of those placement agencies where they help you get better.


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## Frozenvoice (Jul 15, 2013)

We're sol. We're outnumbered. Most people like to chat unfortunately. I wonder what would happen if I replied to a coworker with "I'm sorry but I dont like talking about myself." and just dead ended the conversation. Can I get away with that or would I make enemies? I would love to try it and I think I might. I'll have to word it in as nice a way as possible. Maybe people dont mean anything by it but I am offended when women ask me if I have a boyfriend or a husband. I dont. Are they trying to rub it in and make me feel bad for not being normal?


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## ICat (Jul 21, 2012)

Frozenvoice said:


> Maybe people dont mean anything by it but I am offended when women ask me if I have a boyfriend or a husband. I dont. Are they trying to rub it in and make me feel bad for not being normal?


heh same here but with gf, my guess is they think if shamed enough about it we would go and find ourself SO. Maybe they think we are just lazy, and just don't comprehend what's having SA and being rejected by everything that moves is like.


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## Boomaloom (May 28, 2014)

Networking is massive while on the job hunt and it's really a case of shooting yourself in the foot if you don't engage in it. I recently got a Linkedin request from an old co-worker. The very idea of putting my laughable CV up online for all to see is alien to me. But Im smart enough to realize Im cutting off potential opportunities.
A friend of mine was doing low paid manual labor jobs for afew years and then spent some time unemployed, he really didnt look like he had much option but to go back to college or start a business. Luckily for him he has 5 or 6 well adjusted siblings. One of them got him into a sweet, low stress, tech support/admin role in her company temporarily. He grasped it with both hands and has now been made permanent. So from nowhere to a full-time job, without even an interview, all on the strength of knowing someone. Sadly for me, Im short on family and friends!


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