# Whats worse: Clingy or Cold?



## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

Vote.


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

Cold, cause they make me feel like I mean nothing to them despite really offering the best of me. They act as if you are just another stranger. I hate that.

I prefer someone clingy.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

Clingy. I hate the feeling of being suffocated. Back off.


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## SD92 (Nov 9, 2013)

Clingy. I'd hate to be with someone who wouldn't leave me alone.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

Cold... I want a clingy chick.


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## Esteban (Dec 8, 2014)

clingy


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## Cletis (Oct 10, 2011)

Neither.


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## TabbyTab (Oct 27, 2013)

Cold bc id just feel really unloved and stuff


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## CWe (Mar 7, 2010)

Cold! you're not even talking to a human being! more like a robot


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## Earthshine (Apr 8, 2015)

I like clingy


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

Cold.


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## alienbird (Apr 9, 2010)

Cold.

Clinginess could be too much, but at least I would know I am cared about.

I can be clingy or cold, depending on the situation. I would just try not to show my clinginess so much, because I wouldn't want to smother anyone.


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

.COLD


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## slowlyimproving (Jan 2, 2014)

Cold


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## Cmasch (Jan 24, 2015)

Cold for sure, I don't think I could date someone who was cold.


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## Genos (Dec 17, 2014)

cold, at least with clingy you know they care about you


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## Bbpuff (Sep 1, 2010)

I'm clingy myself so I wouldn't mind someone else who was as well.


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## Stray Bullet (Feb 21, 2014)

they are both good


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

I guess cold, it hurts me more, as many people mentioned about not feeling cared for. Most people are cold these days, I myself am cold to all my friends and positive acquaintances, if I become infatuated though, I'd probably be very clingy and scare her off. 


I think balance is essential, everyone needs space, yet they also want to feel loved.


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

clingy guy + cold chick


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Cold. A little bit of clinginess is good in a relationship.


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## i just want luv (Feb 13, 2011)

I die in the cold.


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

What kind of question is that? I'm sure the majority of posters on here spend every hour of every day wishing they had someone who wouldn't let go.


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## zoslow (Jun 2, 2014)

Cold is worse.
Clingy is cute when it is within reasonable limits.
Like calling a lot, spending a lot of time together or wanting to be physical a lot of the time.


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

zoslow said:


> Cold is worse.
> Clingy is cute when it is within reasonable limits.
> Like calling a lot, spending a lot of time together or wanting to be physical a lot of the time.


If that still reasonable. Where does your line go?


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## zoslow (Jun 2, 2014)

Skeletra said:


> If that still reasonable. Where does your line go?


When she stops respecting my personal life and integrity. Like calling even if I said I have something important to do on my own and don't have time to talk. Or calling to check up on me constantly out of jealousy. Or if she can't stand being alone even for a few days now and then. I had all of this happen to me and it was very exhausting and unpleasant.

What's your opinion on the subject?


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

Ok, so when it gets really invasive.

They are both horrible, but clingy is a little worse.
The clingy person is pathetic, co-dependent, weak and delusional. And they can be hard to get rid of. But at least there is some affection there, if we try to find something positive.

The cold person is at least realistic/rational and independent, even though it's hard to tell if they even like you. They're easier to get rid of though.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

In which stage of the relationship(if that's even what you're talking about)?

I can't stand guys who are clingy in the beginning, and prefer coldness. Guys who seem to lack any sense of pride turn me off. But... I couldn't be in a serious relationship with a guy who was extremely cold... or extremely clingy. Are we talking extremes here or what? Physical clinginess is a plus(feel free to smother me), but not emotional and manipulative clinginess(if it's too over the top).

Idk.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

I couldn't date someone who was either, they are at either extreme of the spectrum.


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## zoslow (Jun 2, 2014)

Skeletra said:


> Ok, so when it gets really invasive.
> 
> They are both horrible, but clingy is a little worse.
> The clingy person is pathetic, co-dependent, weak and delusional. And they can be hard to get rid of. But at least there is some affection there, if we try to find something positive.
> ...


I agree with the first statement.

But as for being easier to get rid of. Yeah if the relationship fails it's obviously a good thing if they are. But is that really something one should expect? I mean naturally a lot of relationship fails so it's good to be realistic but I'm not sure entering a relationship considering a quality to be good if you need to get rid of them at a later point is a good idea.


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

probably offline said:


> In which stage of the relationship(if that's even what you're talking about)?
> 
> I can't stand guys who are clingy in the beginning, and prefer coldness. Guys who seem to lack any sense of pride turn me off. But... I couldn't be in a serious relationship with a guy who was extremely cold... or extremely clingy. Are we talking extremes here or what? Physical clinginess is a plus(feel free to smother me), but not emotional and manipulative clinginess(if it's too over the top).
> 
> Idk.


Talking about the concept itself in all its variations :yes
With the intention that people could post if they had more to elaborate .



zoslow said:


> I agree with the first statement.
> 
> But as for being easier to get rid of. Yeah if the relationship fails it's obviously a good thing if they are. But is that really something one should expect? I mean naturally a lot of relationship fails so it's good to be realistic but I'm not sure entering a relationship considering a quality to be good if you need to get rid of them at a later point is a good idea.


You have a point but a clingy ex is a horrible thing, so if things go that way, it's way more than just a bonus.
Also, it's nice that you know the other person can manage perfectly fine without you.


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## zoslow (Jun 2, 2014)

Skeletra said:


> You have a point but a clingy ex is a horrible thing, so if things go that way, it's way more than just a bonus.
> Also, it's nice that you know the other person can manage perfectly fine without you.


Yeah that's true.

I think opposites attract each other when it comes to clingyness. Like one of the persons will be clingy and the other one will be less clingy. If two persons both were very needy or clingy there would be a lack of stability in the relationship. Then again people can be clingy in different ways, like personally I'm not at all clingy in the sense that I manage well on my own and don't depend on other people but I can still enjoy being close to the other person as much as possible. Maybe more of a form of physical clingyness as probably offline mentioned.

(Not sure if it was my or yours grammar you remarked on before the edit haha. But it's cool even if it was mine, it's not always the best. English isn't my first language either).


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

zoslow said:


> Yeah that's true.
> 
> I think opposites attract each other when it comes to clingyness. Like one of the persons will be clingy and the other one will be less clingy. If two persons both were very needy or clingy there would be a lack of stability in the relationship. Then again people can be clingy in different ways, like personally I'm not at all clingy in the sense that I manage well on my own and don't depend on other people but I can still enjoy being close to the other person as much as possible. Maybe more of a form of physical clingyness as probably offline mentioned.
> 
> (Not sure if it was my or yours grammar you remarked on before the edit haha. But it's cool even if it was mine, it's not always the best. English isn't my first language either).


Aww, you saw that, huh ?
Yeah it was mine. I just couldn't get happy about how I phrased that.

I'm clingy to the point where I need some sort of contact at least twice a week and I get annoyingly excited when he calls. I need to feel like he loves me, but he's not even my boyfriend. He just happens to treat me way better than any of my boyfriends have before and it makes me feel all weird and confused.
I also give him random massages and random acts of extreme affection... And then I feel bad about being so clingy that I behave cold like a rational person and avoid initiating any contact and generally avoid showing affection... Only to start to wonder if I'm too cold. And then I feel bad about that. 
He seems perfectly levelled though. Maybe a little more on the cold side, but he will randomly hold my hand in public or kiss my forehead when cuddling every now and then.
that was way more than anyone wanted to know..

Yes. I'm clingy as **** and very ashamed of this.


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## zoslow (Jun 2, 2014)

Skeletra said:


> Aww, you saw that, huh ?
> Yeah it was mine. I just couldn't get happy about how I phrased that.
> 
> I'm clingy to the point where I need some sort of contact At least twice a week and I get annoyingly excited when he calls. I need to feel like he loves me, but he's not even my boyfriend. He just happens to treat me way better than any of my boyfriends have before and it makes me feel all weird and confused.
> ...


Yep with years and years of forum dwelling behind me it would have to be something extraordinary to fool me Near transparent text is an old trick.

I'm not really sure I would classify what you describe as being very clingy. Seems rather normal in relationships to me. Maybe your previous boyfriends has been overly cold but then again maybe you are clingy who am I to say. Just out of curiosity though it isn't really topic, are you dating this guy or is it some sort of friends with benefits thing? I mean seeing as you seem to have feelings for him but he's not your boyfriend.


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

Skeletra said:


> Ok, so when it gets really invasive.
> 
> They are both horrible, but clingy is a little worse.
> The clingy person is pathetic, co-dependent, weak and delusional. And they can be hard to get rid of. But at least there is some affection there, if we try to find something positive.
> ...


So that's the ''quality'' you are looking for in a person? To be able to get rid of them easily? That sounds cold as hell and completely unempathetic.

I dont agree with the way you are characterizing those 2 either. Why is a clingy person weak or delusional? Cause that person invests a lot of feelings in a person? I also don't consider anyone to be pathetic. Cold = realistic/rational? Really? Sociopaths, narcissists, hystrionics, schizoids, etc. are all cold. Are they also realistic/rational? Of course not. They are simply incapable of showing much empathy and of investing much feelings, energy and time in another person.


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

zoslow said:


> Yep with years and years of forum dwelling behind me it would have to be something extraordinary to fool me Near transparent text is an old trick.
> 
> I'm not really sure I would classify what you describe as being very clingy. Seems rather normal in relationships to me. Maybe your previous boyfriends has been overly cold but then again maybe you are clingy who am I to say. Just out of curiosity though it isn't really topic, are you dating this guy or is it some sort of friends with benefits thing? I mean seeing as you seem to have feelings for him but he's not your boyfriend.


I don't know what we are. We have been dating for almost a year and intimate for 5 months. So we're basically just dating. I stupidly want more though..



sad vlad said:


> So that's the ''quality'' you are looking for in a person? To be able to get rid of them easily? That sounds cold as hell and completely unempathetic.
> 
> I dont agree with the way you are characterizing those 2 either. Why is a clingy person weak or delusional? Cause that person invests a lot of feelings in a person? I also don't consider anyone to be pathetic. Cold = realistic/rational? Really? Sociopaths, narcissists, hystrionics, schizoids, etc. are all cold. Are they also realistic/rational? Of course not. They are simply incapable of showing much empathy and of investing much feelings, energy and time in another person.


The clingy person is delusional because she's investing more time than what it's worth and she believes the relationship or friendship will get more and more meaningful, whilst it won't. They believe that the other person will always be there for them, and obviously they won't. That's why the cold person is more realistic. He doesn't care if it develops further. And knows that the other person won't be there every time they need him/her.
Maybe pragmatic and confident would be more correct.

Showing to much emotion lets people take advantage of you more easily. And they are so blind and foolish, believing everything will be ok.. I mean come on. They need the other person to survive basically... That's why they are weak and pathetic.
They're lost and doomed without the other. That's not healthy.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Skeletra said:


> I'm clingy to the point where I need some sort of contact at least twice a week and I get annoyingly excited when he calls.


This is not clingy behavior... Your only problem seems to be that you're afraid of appearing clingy. Did someone break up with you for being too clingy in the past or something? Is it because you're not officially a couple, so you don't feel entitled to seek affection and intimacy?


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Clingy is worse for me I guess, but something in the middle would be better. Truthfully I'm less likely to loose attraction for someone who comes across as a bit cold compared to clingy. And a certain level of stoicism is attractive to me anyway so.. But if they were too cold, I'd probably assume they didn't like me so that's not good either, especially if we were in a relationship and had been for a while.


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

Skeletra said:


> The clingy person is delusional because she's investing more time than what it's worth and she believes the relationship or friendship will get more and more meaningful, whilst it won't. They believe that the other person will always be there for them, and obviously they won't. That's why the cold person is more realistic. He doesn't care if it develops further. And knows that the other person won't be there every time they need him/her.
> Maybe pragmatic and confident would be more correct.
> 
> Showing to much emotion lets people take advantage of you more easily. And they are so blind and foolish, believing everything will be ok.. I mean come on. They need the other person to survive basically... That's why they are weak and pathetic.
> They're lost and doomed without the other. That's not healthy.


How do you establish how much time it's worth investing in someone? You invest as much as you are willing to invest. Relationships can go to another level. There is nothing delusional or clingy in that. I have always been there for someone so I don't see why is that an exaggerated expectation. It should be normal in a serious relationship.

A cold person is not more realistic cause he/she doesn't care how the relationship will go. He/she simply doesn't care much about the person or the relationship. I also disagree that a cold person is more confident. Not caring is not the same as being confident.

I agree that putting all your hopes in a person is not always the most healthy thing to do, but being ice cold is not healthy either. You have some issues too if you are cold.

And yes, some people do take advantage of those that care too much and are willing to really put an effort in a relationship. Usually by cold manipulative people. So should we all be cold because of that? How do we form a couple and breed if we would all be cold?

My guess is that people who are afraid of showing emotions, of getting emotionally attached to people, are usually those that dislike the idea of ''clingy''. Cause they constantly feel the need to get away from other people, to push them away, to escape, to go back to their comfort zone. Of course, people that have been blamed or even dumped for being ''too clingy'' are likely to bash other people that they consider to be clingy. Simply because they are keep associating that label to the pain of being dumped, feeling used, unappreciated, etc.

I don't know exactly where I fit to be honest. In real life, people that do not know me closely(so 99,999%) would probably think I am cold. Because I do not seek attention, I do not approach other people, I do not open up to them and I am always serious. But those that know me closely are aware of the fact I am actually very empathetic, I really care about the few people that do enter my life and I usually put a lot of time, energy and feelings into those people. I am also always there for them if they need me for anything.

I have been the one approached by girls usually and although I may enjoy the conversation and get involved in the whole thing, I very rarely feel connected to them. However, in the rare cases that I do feel that connection, I would probably be labeled as clingy. I was the cold one in the beginning of the last relationship and she was the clingy one that always looked for my company. But in the end the roles got reversed.


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

^ Being clingy is widely regarded as something bad.
I'm not saying we should all be cold, as that's horrible as well. Just that clingy is worse.



probably offline said:


> This is not clingy behavior... Your only problem seems to be that you're afraid of appearing clingy. Did someone break up with you for being too clingy in the past or something?* Is it because you're not officially a couple, so you don't feel entitled to seek affection and intimacy?*


I'm afraid to appear clingy and a member here confirmed it. Ergo. I'm clingy, and all fears related to being clingy are more likely to be more accurate.
Yes. Im not even remotely close to being entitled to anything like that.
I really want it though, which makes me only stupid and let's call it on the edge of being clingy.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Skeletra said:


> I'm afraid to appear clingy and a member here confirmed it. Ergo. I'm clingy, and all fears related to being clingy are more likely to be more accurate.
> Yes. Im not even remotely close to being entitled to anything like that.
> I really want it though, which makes me only stupid and let's call it on the edge of being clingy.


It sounds like you need to talk to him. I understand that you're afraid of scaring him away if you ask about how he actually feels about you, or telling him that you'd want to officially become boyfriend and girlfriend, but you don't seem content in this situation. It might be a risk worth taking. This situation probably causes you as much stress as you would feel if you became single again.

You seem serious about this guy. Do you think that you could grow to feel ok about not going anywhere serious with the relationship? If not, you're kind of wasting time by walking around on eggshells, instead addressing the real issue. It seems like you need this "relationship" to take one turn or another, and not stay in some sort of limbo. I mean... I know that you've been seeing each other for a good while, and you seem to act like a couple most of the time, based on what I've read from you before, but at the same time you can't tell his parents that you're his girlfriend. You're 100% right in being confused. Most people would be, no matter how they felt about the person. He seems to be giving mixed signals, so it's natural for you feel unsure about how to behave towards him. You shouldn't carry all of this guilt around by yourself. He has put you in a weird situation.


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## Mrs Salvatore (Mar 27, 2014)

I have no idea, I just wish someone would notice me. I guess cold is worse.


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

I would say clingy, because someone being cold is inaction, and being clingy is action. they are consciously doing an unattractive behavior by being clingy.


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

I guess a little of both but not much of each. I need my space but I don't want to be with someone who always seems like she's pissed off at me.


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## RestlessNative (Jun 17, 2014)

Clinginess can be sexy. Coldness is never sexy.


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## Shybug (Apr 16, 2015)

Both are horrible but I'd be super sad if someone was cold to me, I much rather prefer clingy. So I vote cold is much worse.


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## i just want luv (Feb 13, 2011)

Does cold mean they're like into dominatrix and stuff? If that's the case, we all need to reevaluate things.


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## Notgoingout (Mar 19, 2015)

Grand said:


> Cold.
> 
> Clinginess could be too much, but at least I would know I am cared about.
> 
> I can be clingy or cold, depending on the situation. I would just try not to show my clinginess so much, because I wouldn't want to smother anyone.


 Yeah it's about that line with clingy. If it's 800 texts a day that's a little too much!! But I want someone clingy(ish) or someone intense. I've waited to long to have a 'casual' relationship!


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## romeoindespair (Oct 16, 2014)

I'm cold as ice and hate clingy people


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## darlieq (Dec 30, 2014)

Clingy. I need space.


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## Hermiter (Dec 15, 2013)

Cold, i prefer clingy and everyone shouod stop reading yahoo news articles implying that clinginess is bad when in fact it discourages cheating and encourages love


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## Cherrycarmine (Apr 19, 2015)

I say both are pretty bad, maybe clingy a little more than cold. If someone was constantly trying to be around me, I'd get very uncomfortable being around them after a while.


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## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

Clingy.

I can come off as a cold person myself, though. But, it's not done with intention. I just don't know what to talk about at times or can have a misanthropic mindset about society.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

Cold. Of course I'm like that half the time, and my boyfriend is clingy most of the time. But yeah, cold is worse.


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## burgerchuckie (May 31, 2012)

I have a tendency to get cold at times so I voted clingy.


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

In mortal combat I liked sub-zero, so I don't like clingy I guess


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

I think cold is somewhat worse. Clingy people usually don't realize they're being clingy and will usually try to back off a bit if you discuss it with them. You don't know what a cold person is thinking. You don't know if _you're_ being too clingy. You don't know if they just hate you and they don't express their feelings or what. Just nothing. It's unsettling to be around someone who doesn't communicate at all.


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## wrongnumber (May 24, 2009)

I haven't really experienced coldness. I've experienced clinginess though, and it makes me feel stifled, repulsed and violated.


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

Coldness chills to the bone. It's only slightly worse than clinginess, even though being clingy gives you no space.


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

Cold, fo sho.


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## EvonneEzell (Jul 14, 2014)

I would like someone who is clingy because I'm cold so we would balance each other out.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

Skeletra said:


> I'm afraid to appear clingy and a member here confirmed it. Ergo. I'm clingy, and all fears related to being clingy are more likely to be more accurate.


 I could've written the same thing.



Skeletra said:


> Yes. Im not even remotely close to being entitled to anything like that.
> I really want it though, which makes me only stupid and let's call it on the edge of being clingy.


Earlier you left a comment on one of my threads....



> I think you should take a chance. _You do deserve it_,


 Well, you should to, and you deserve it as much, probably way more, than I do.

I'm not in any position at all to give advice on relationships (as you can see from any of my posts) but if I was in your shoes I'd try to see how he feels about getting (more) serious. You guys have been dating for a while now. In my humble opinion, guys get cold feet about this a lot of the time (guys like me, for example lol). He may not want to bring it up because he's not sure how you'd feel about it.

As opposed to just thinking about where you're at, and just what you want, as has been suggested, maybe think about what is the best fit for both of you at this point in your lives...maybe it's about where you're both at, what each of you want. And, yeah, that's advice I should take for myself, also. Just my $.02. I'll shut up now, I've probably said too much lol.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

Anyway, I chose cold is worse. It's just way, way worse to me, no contest.


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## TCNY (Dec 3, 2014)

clingys just annoying. cold kills me inside


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## pocketbird (Jun 30, 2014)

I guess Cold. Clingy can be nice sometimes, but cold is just cold.


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## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

Cold. I'm very affectionate so it would make me feel empty to date someone like that and I have been in a relationship with someone like that so I don't want to ever do that.


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## anomnomnom (May 28, 2013)

I suppose..Cold..

Although I've been with someone clingy (to the point I lost friends over it) and it was bloody suffocating..and awful..and never again!

But cold, cold is something else, least with clingy you know they care, sort of


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Cold. I actually like clingyness.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

meepie said:


> Cold. I'm very affectionate so it would make me feel empty to date someone like that and I have been in a relationship with someone like that so I don't want to ever do that.


I agree. :yes


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

LawfulStupid said:


> What kind of question is that? I'm sure the majority of posters on here spend every hour of every day wishing they had someone who wouldn't let go.


True of me, for sure....


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## dontwaitupforme (Feb 23, 2013)

I dislike either if the person goes overboard. In moderation, they aren't that bad tbh.


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## halfly (Sep 18, 2012)

Once upon a time I would have voted for clingy, but now it's without a doubt the cold option.


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

TenYears said:


> Well, you should to, and you deserve it as much, probably way more, than I do.
> 
> I'm not in any position at all to give advice on relationships (as you can see from any of my posts) but if I was in your shoes I'd try to see how he feels about getting (more) serious. You guys have been dating for a while now. In my humble opinion, guys get cold feet about this a lot of the time (guys like me, for example lol). He may not want to bring it up because he's not sure how you'd feel about it.
> 
> As opposed to just thinking about where you're at, and just what you want, as has been suggested, maybe think about what is the best fit for both of you at this point in your lives...maybe it's about where you're both at, what each of you want. And, yeah, that's advice I should take for myself, also. Just my $.02. I'll shut up now, I've probably said too much lol.


I did talk to him, so I know a little better where we are at.
I did it in the wrongest way I could think off...by blurting out stupid stuff in a *****y tone and then I ended up crying and feeling really stupid..so much for overthinking on how to phrase myself.. But, we talked and we're fine .
We appear to share some of the dreams, though I get the impression he doesn't quite know what he wants in life yet. He's pretty reserved though, and so am I.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

TCNY said:


> clingys just annoying. cold kills me inside


This sums it up. I've experienced both from different people. Clingy can definitely be too much for me, as I'm an introvert and need my space. But cold? Even if someone I care about is just _slightly_ too cold to me, it really feels like it rips my heart out and I doubt them, thinking they really don't give two sh-ts about me. I'd take the issue of clingy any day. It's easier to tell someone you need space, than to ask a cold person if they really care about you, thus making yourself way too vulnerable.


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## CosmicLasagna (Dec 2, 2014)

I imagine since this is posted on a Social Anxiety Forum that could explain why most people voted "clingy" as better. Because at least personally, with social anxiety, I get lonely, I feel like I get little attention at times. I worry when people ignore me or aren't sharing their feelings with me. I need someone to make it obvious they care about me, or I'll feel like they don't, and maybe there's something wrong with me.


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## normalsucksbutsodoesSA (Apr 2, 2015)

I agree with Cosmic Lasagna because Cosmic Lasagna.


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## UnderdogWins (Apr 9, 2015)

Cold – No Contest.

Is clinginess that bad? I don’t think I'd mind if a woman was a little clingy with me. As long as she trusts me and respects my privacy. It might even turn me on a little bit.:b


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## FWMY (Feb 1, 2015)

I would say cold. With being clingy at least you'll know that person is still there for you. Whereas when they're cold there is no telling what they could be doing or who they could be with.


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## Donkeybutt (May 3, 2013)

Clingy is worse. I would need a lot of alone time and personal space if I were to be in a relationship, and having someone who never leaves me alone would cause a lot stress.


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## mattmc (Jun 27, 2013)

Monroee said:


> This sums it up. I've experienced both from different people. Clingy can definitely be too much for me, as I'm an introvert and need my space. But cold? Even if someone I care about is just _slightly_ too cold to me, it really feels like it rips my heart out and I doubt them, thinking they really don't give two sh-ts about me. I'd take the issue of clingy any day. It's easier to tell someone you need space, than to ask a cold person if they really care about you, thus making yourself way too vulnerable.


Yes. Cold is the worst. Like you really don't mean a damn to someone.

Sadly, people online are very likely to come off as cold. And I don't normally have friendships offline. The coldest people online have probably increased my insecurities so now someone whose just slightly cold can send my anxieties spiraling.


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## Amorphousanomaly (Jun 20, 2012)

Clingy is so annoying. Some of my exes wanted me to text them 100 times a day, like they can't trust you if they're not in the same room. 
Cold and aloof is what cool guys are like. Not all wimpy and emotional.


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