# Does anyone else use sex as way to cope with depression?



## depressedkat (Dec 10, 2012)

I'm sure a lot of people are going to post about being a virgin.
When i feel really down i get the urge to just have meaningless sex. It makes me feel better for a little while and then sometimes i feel more empty afterwards. I guess it makes me feel a little less lonely to physically be with someone, but i prefer it to be with someone who i don't care about and they don't care about me.


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## lost91 (Oct 18, 2011)

lol it had 69 views before I clicked on this


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## Daktoria (Sep 21, 2010)

depressedkat said:


> I'm sure a lot of people are going to post about being a virgin.
> When i feel really down i get the urge to just have meaningless sex. It makes me feel better for a little while and then sometimes i feel more empty afterwards. I guess it makes me feel a little less lonely to physically be with someone, but i prefer it to be with someone who i don't care about and they don't care about me.


Only if it's passionately romantic.

Being loose doesn't help anymore than masturbating. I REALLY need to know someone cares about me. If it's just about getting off, then it's not a personal experience, and doesn't help recover.


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## sorrwel (May 20, 2012)

depressedkat said:


> I'm sure a lot of people are going to post about being a virgin.
> When i feel really down i get the urge to just have meaningless sex. It makes me feel better for a little while and then sometimes i feel more empty afterwards. I guess it makes me feel a little less lonely to physically be with someone, but i prefer it to be with someone who i don't care about and they don't care about me.


Yes. It helps fill the emptiness with a little bit of a rush and temporary elation. It's my favorite medicine.


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## apx24 (Jan 31, 2012)

If you can count masturbation as sex, then yes. Masturbation gives me something to look forward to, almost a 'raison d'etre' in life at the moment. If I wasn't able to do it, my life really would be empty. And I also feel the initial nice feeling followed by shame as well.


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## depressedkat (Dec 10, 2012)

It's not like with random people or anything but just a **** buddy i have. Masturbation doesn't do it the same as sex for me.


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## Daktoria (Sep 21, 2010)

depressedkat said:


> It's not like with random people or anything but just a **** buddy i have. Masturbation doesn't do it the same as sex for me.


Is he smooth, close, and tender with you, or just someone to shag when it strikes?


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## jackbruns28 (Dec 7, 2012)

:agree (Hands raised. Really, really high!). I love sex. Sex, sex, sex, sex. Can't get enough.


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## SomniferumPapi (Nov 29, 2012)

Let me just get this out of the way...Using something to cope with depression isnt healthy.

Alright, I do if the circumstance is right, I've had "meaningless" sex that didnt involve love, and I think its better than jacking off both physically and mentally. Not by that much but a little better. I winder though how much sex does someone have to have a day to cope with depression? lol around the clock sex


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## depressedkat (Dec 10, 2012)

Daktoria said:


> Is he smooth, close, and tender with you, or just someone to shag when it strikes?


Not to get into all my sexual fetishes but i like it rough. The rougher the better. He is just someone when the mood strikes which is why i like it. No strings.
I know it's not healthy. I was just curious if i was alone in that coping mechanism or not.


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

I didn't know that girls did this. I thought a guy made this thread! :um


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## sorrwel (May 20, 2012)

depressedkat said:


> Not to get into all my sexual fetishes but i like it rough. The rougher the better. He is just someone when the mood strikes which is why i like it. No strings.
> I know it's not healthy. I was just curious if i was alone in that coping mechanism or not.


You're definitely not alone.


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## SomniferumPapi (Nov 29, 2012)

SilentLuke said:


> I didn't know that girls did this. I thought a guy made this thread! :um


lol girls are hornier than guys sometimes, just that they dont like to show it for fear of being thought of as a ****. Which is also why alot of girls lie about being virgins haha


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## depressedkat (Dec 10, 2012)

sorrwel said:


> You're definitely not alone.


Good to know!


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## jonjacob (Aug 28, 2012)

I can relate. The alcohol/promiscuity thing has been a way to self medicate for about 8 years now for me. Trying to feel "cool" or something, trying to prove something...not much good and a whole lotta WTF mornings


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## LyricallyAnonymous (Nov 14, 2012)

Yes, you could say that...


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## enfield (Sep 4, 2010)

uh since i have SA that particular coping mechanism for my troubles is basically off-limits.


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## cole phelps (Jun 24, 2012)

no that's what weed is for


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## jonny neurotic (Jan 20, 2011)

Chance would be a fine thing. Lol


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## mesmerize (Oct 19, 2012)

i dont do it anymore but i get deep urges to


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## HRodriguez93 (Nov 20, 2012)

So you have depression not SA? Because I seriously don't know how someone with SA gets laid tbh.


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## depressedkat (Dec 10, 2012)

HRodriguez93 said:


> So you have depression not SA? Because I seriously don't know how someone with SA gets laid tbh.


No i have SA. The people i have slept with are guys that i chat with a lot
or know from work. I could never with a stranger. Strangers scare me but with people i know im more shy and can warm up to them or get drunk and warm up even faster.


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## Daktoria (Sep 21, 2010)

depressedkat said:


> Not to get into all my sexual fetishes but i like it rough. The rougher the better. He is just someone when the mood strikes which is why i like it. No strings.
> I know it's not healthy. I was just curious if i was alone in that coping mechanism or not.


That might be why.

Girls who like it rough typically get depressed when life isn't exciting. If someone's not tearing them a new one, then they're tearing a new one in themselves.


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## meeps (Dec 5, 2011)

Daktoria said:


> Girls who like it rough typically get depressed when life isn't exciting. If someone's not tearing them a new one, then they're tearing a new one in themselves.


jesus christ...
:roll


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## huh (Mar 19, 2007)

No...as a guy with social anxiety it's a little difficult to find women interested in having meaningless sex. Actually that's probably difficult for most guys in general. Not that it really interests me anyway. Depression has taken a pretty big toll on my libido.


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## cole phelps (Jun 24, 2012)

HRodriguez93 said:


> So you have depression not SA? Because I seriously don't know how someone with SA gets laid tbh.


Excately. Well said


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## depressedkat (Dec 10, 2012)

I think it is definitely different for a girl with SA then a guy. Girls are suppose to be pursued by men, so it saves me from having to approach. If a guy approaches me then it takes that fear of rejection away more. I am still anxious and scared until i get comfortable with them, which usually takes months. For a guy you are "suppose" to pursue which is the scarier part. Most Women won't pursue a guy and so it's harder to get comfortable with the opposite sex.


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

Sometimes in my


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## DontDoSadness (Jan 12, 2011)

HRodriguez93 said:


> So you have depression not SA? Because I seriously don't know how someone with SA gets laid tbh.


It's possible depending on the level of severity your SA is at. I do believe this is true for people that have really severe SA such as myself. I can't even imagine being in a situation for it to be an option in the first place. Although I'm kind of asexual so I don't care anyways.


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## jayjaythejetplane (May 13, 2011)

I'm having sex as I type. Ugh.


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## depressedkat (Dec 10, 2012)

jayjaythejetplane said:


> I'm having sex as I type. Ugh.


That's talent.


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## jonjacob (Aug 28, 2012)

Yes you can have social anxiety and get laid, its called alcohol . Not saying its a good thing, in fact, more the opposite, but I've had a lot of sex for a guy with SA, but when not with gf, its always been due to booze. I do exercise all the time tho and eat well so I have a high libido its important to me and I really love women theyr so cute ~


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## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

Nope.


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## kj87 (Sep 30, 2012)

depressedkat said:


> I'm sure a lot of people are going to post about being a virgin.
> When i feel really down i get the urge to just have meaningless sex. It makes me feel better for a little while and then sometimes i feel more empty afterwards. I guess it makes me feel a little less lonely to physically be with someone, but i prefer it to be with someone who i don't care about and they don't care about me.


I know what you mean.

I find that cuddling with a friend is much more enjoyable though


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## Luwa (Dec 14, 2012)

SilentLuke said:


> I didn't know that girls did this. I thought a guy made this thread! :um


You honestly think guys can have meaningless sex at the drop of a hat? If that's how you get around, then you should write a book.


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## legrandincendie (Dec 14, 2012)

I do it but I'm trying to cut down lol.

Seriously, I try to meet ransoms for sex when I'm feeling down, and I feel down cos I'm ugly. So I seek out sex just to see if I can. If I can laid then I'll know I'm not really ugly, that's it's just in my head... But the problem is that even when I do get success, I find a way to justify why they slept with me - "he was desperate", "he felt sorry for me", "he has a fetish for ugly lads"... 

I am not suggesting that you seek sex for reassurance like me, but my point is that it doesn't fix the problem. And at least for me, I never enjoy this kind of sex anyway which leaves me pretty empty and just vile feeling.


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## BladeRunnerB26354 (Apr 12, 2012)

jonjacob said:


> Yes you can have social anxiety and get laid, its called alcohol . Not saying its a good thing, in fact, more the opposite


Yep I used to use sex as a way of boosting my mood, getting a fast fix of affirmation.

As with Jon Jacob I used alcohol to overcome the SA barrier to doing this.

For me it was a 95% bad time in my life - it becomes addictive, you never learn real relationship skills, you don't address your SA and depression properly but nudge it to one side.

The depression and SA also worsen from the alcohol use, and the fairly anti social behaviour of sleeping around. You also court alcohol dependence.

The 5% benefit is that I got sleeping around and hang ups about my attractiveness out of my system.

I also no longer care about flings or if someone doesn't find me attractive, as I've got quite a lot of evidence and experience to the contrary and truly accept not everybody is for everybody.

It's also meant when I meet someone I really click with, I know how rare that is, and I know I'm not missing out by not chasing other women. I appreciate how important friendship is in a relationship and that the grass isn't greener.

I haven't got the relationship thing perfect, far from it as I posted in another thread, but I've got a great deal better.


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## ryobi (Jan 13, 2009)

yes


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## apersonintheory (Nov 26, 2012)

I hate it when people post about their non-problem problems. The fact that you get sex whenever you want it is not a problem. Are you really complaining about this? Really? Being a total social pariah with zero social human contact, now THAT's a problem.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Being that I am a guy with SA, sex is not available to me.
But if it was, I could definitely see myself using it not just for lust, but an attempt to try and feel close to someone even if I barely know them. Because I feel very deprived of emotional closeness.


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## Openyoureyes (Jun 13, 2012)

Yuupp..but it doesn't make you feel so good about yourself after you come home and you realize your bed's empty and they aren't really your anything.


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## Loveless (Apr 6, 2012)

I'm a virgin . But I have a porn addiction so I can sympathise


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## Deathmau (Feb 2, 2012)

Will never understand this...


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## changeme77 (Feb 22, 2013)

depressedkat said:


> I think it is definitely different for a girl with SA then a guy. Girls are suppose to be pursued by men, so it saves me from having to approach. If a guy approaches me then it takes that fear of rejection away more. I am still anxious and scared until i get comfortable with them, which usually takes months. For a guy you are "suppose" to pursue which is the scarier part. Most Women won't pursue a guy and so it's harder to get comfortable with the opposite sex.


Yep. Although I have a solution. We could be **** buddies. Then after the sex we'd be so relaxed which would allow us to open up more


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## OverComeIt (Jan 28, 2013)

FoundAndLost said:


> Being that I am a guy with SA, sex is not available to me.
> But if it was, I could definitely see myself using it not just for lust, but an attempt to try and feel close to someone even if I barely know them. Because I feel very deprived of emotional closeness.


Great avatar bro...Listening to them the other day.


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

depressedkat said:


> I'm sure a lot of people are going to post about being a virgin.
> When i feel really down i get the urge to just have meaningless sex. It makes me feel better for a little while and then sometimes i feel more empty afterwards. I guess it makes me feel a little less lonely to physically be with someone, but i prefer it to be with someone who i don't care about and they don't care about me.


My problem is that it's never meaningless with me. But yes, I have sex when I'm depressed or bored. It's ruining my life.


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## Phalene (Feb 15, 2013)

Masturbation, yeah.

I feel like sex could destroy me morally, I think it must be a wonderful thing with someone sweet you take time to know, but I think it's also damaging. So even if I were pretty and attractive, I don't think I'd go and have sex with anyone to feel better.


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## tiredoflife (Feb 27, 2013)

I would probably of done this already, if I had sex as a option. I for years turned to food..aka the cheaper and more sugary the better. Then its the hate yourself afterwards spiral of doom. To be honest, I doubt I will ever have sex so I don't see this as a issue. I have a cousin who uses sex for everything, yes including making a living. To stop feeling bored. She is just as empty inside as I am if not more so, least she isn't doing drugs anymore.


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## Fenren (Sep 20, 2009)

If I could find anyone willing, I may try this technique to help my depression! Oh to be female....


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

no


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## tiredoflife (Feb 27, 2013)

At this point in my life if I could find a guy who was willing I would give that a shot. Who knows maybe sex with a guy wouldn't be so bad?


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## Fenren (Sep 20, 2009)

tiredoflife said:


> At this point in my life if I could find a guy who was willing I would give that a shot. Who knows maybe sex with a guy wouldn't be so bad?


If you don't feel the sexual attraction though, it may be a very bad experience to try just from extreme loneliness, sexual frustration and desperation. I kind of know...


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## tiredoflife (Feb 27, 2013)

Fenren said:


> If you don't feel the sexual attraction though, it may be a very bad experience to try just from extreme loneliness, sexual frustration and desperation. I kind of know...


 I guessed it wouldn't be healthy. To be honest I was speaking more out of frustration on loneliness. Sorry to hear you have experienced this. I guess I wont bother trying it as it was a bad idea.


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## Staticnz (Mar 25, 2013)

Who would I have sex with.


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

you have to be a rock star or really good looking to use that treatment


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## Theillusiveman (Mar 18, 2013)

If you have SA, Sex is not something that's going to come easily if you're a male (sorry it's but true).

If you mean porn though, I used too, but it got boring. It only punts the issue at hand anyway. It's not the sex, it's the fact that I can't build relationships.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

asullivan360 said:


> why are you even on this website?


Because they have SA.


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## changeme77 (Feb 22, 2013)

asullivan360 said:


> why are you even on this website?


What a retarded question. Getting sex fixes everything does it?


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## sas111 (Oct 20, 2010)

Would make me more depressed, meaningless sex. Think I would feel like a useless used up *****, but that's only cause I'd be nothing more than a hole to them, no warmth, no care, no tender touch to comfort through depression.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Now I just imagined an orange cat with a scowl cutting himself.


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## changeme77 (Feb 22, 2013)

asullivan360 said:


> I'm too retarded to come up with a reply but I'm really angry at you right now so I'm gonna cut myself


Dude wtf I hope you weren't being serious.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

So how the **** am I'm gonna use sex for my depression when i can't even get sex?


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## Haruhi (Jul 8, 2011)

this post angers me somehow =(


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## stupidweeman (Apr 21, 2013)

Also the kind of girl willing to be in that kind of relationship with you can often end up ****ung with you head!


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## Nono441 (May 14, 2012)

stupidweeman said:


> Also the kind of girl willing to be in that kind of relationship with you can often end up ****ung with you head!


Yeah, so pretty much a non-option unless you are extremely lucky.


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## Perkins (Dec 14, 2010)

Interesting. I was under the impression that someone suffering from depression would likely have a poor sex drive and would have difficulty climaxing and having an orgasm, and wouldn't look forward to it because they're afraid they wouldn't please their partner, but I guess I'm wrong. I myself have severe depression but I'm a virgin so I can't really comment. 

All I can say is I go through periods where my sex drive gets high and then I go through periods where it's non-existent. I notice my sex drive withers once I'm really stressed and when something happens that worsens my depression.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Biochemical dependency


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## Twinkiesex (Apr 12, 2013)

Yeah. I hate to admit this but if I weren't such a basket case I'd be a total *****. It's not JUST about the sex though, it would be nice to feel that close to someone...but mostly the sex.


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## apx24 (Jan 31, 2012)

If masturbation/porn can count as sex, then yes I use it all the time to cope with depression and anxiety.


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## DubnRun (Oct 29, 2011)

no and probably never will. would if i could ..


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## loneranger (Dec 29, 2012)

For me, absolutely not.


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## I wish i was normal (May 28, 2012)

I wish i was a girl.


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## yelda (Jun 12, 2010)

no. when I was virgin I thought sex could cure my depression and social anxiety.
however, sex had no positive effect on my mood except for the very first experiences.
I was married about ten years ago and sex was a very routine and boring action. I preferred to masturbate when my wife was at work.


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## Randomdood13 (Dec 10, 2012)

I would if I could OP.


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## arnaldosfjunior (Apr 20, 2013)

I wish i was normal said:


> I wish i was a girl.


Resumes everything.


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## Rabbi (Apr 26, 2013)

Sometime I masturbate when I get depressed. Ejaculation gives me some relief from depression.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

sas111 said:


> Would make me more depressed, meaningless sex. Think I would feel like a useless used up *****, but that's only cause I'd be nothing more than a hole to them, no warmth, no care, no tender touch to comfort through depression.


I would be the same in said situation, a hug or a feeling of connection would be much more important to me.


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## bobbythegr8 (Apr 1, 2013)

**** yeah. If only we could actually just do that. That's something girls do.


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