# Was able to stand up for myself today :)



## TooShyToScream (Jan 23, 2011)

Last Thursday, I was sitting in psychology class. Our desks are arranged in rows and the teacher was handing out papers to each row for us to pass back to people behind us. I was like 3 seats from the front of my row, and there was another person in back of me. After I pass them back, he takes a copy for himself, and waves the extras in my face and tells me to pass them back up. Now, I'm not sure if this is just me, but I absolutely hate lazy people who end up with extra papers and make the 3-4 people in front of them pass them back up to the teacher...the first person in the row having to either get up out of their seat and put them back on the teacher's desk, or call the teacher over to get them. If you're the one stuck with the extras, it's your job to get them back up to the teacher, is it not? Or if you're really that lazy, keep them, throw them out later, whatever...but why bother the people in front of you trying to do work? My job was to send them back, not forward. And on that particular day, the desks were arranged all weird from the class before us and there was a lot of space between me and the person in front of me. I took the papers, and then realized that I wasn't going to be able to get their attention without either calling out to the person in front of me, or getting up and putting them on the teacher's desk myself. Well, having SA, I decided I wasn't calling out to anybody and just got up, completely pissed off since it wasn't supposed to be my responsibility, and put the extras back myself. After this, I vowed to myself that I wasn't going to take that crap from anyone again.

Well, today this one girl tried the same thing. "Pass these up", she says. I said, "No, YOU can pass them up." She was acting like she didn't hear me or something...though, I'm pretty sure she did and was just surprised about my reaction. She said "What did you say?" I was like, "I _said_...YOU can pass them up." She didn't bother me anymore after that  And when he handed out more papers at the end of the class, she took the extras up herself. I was proud of myself. I don't usually stand up for myself...so I consider it an accomplishment.


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## intuition (Jan 18, 2011)

:clapCongrats, keep it up.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

you know, it doesn't matter so much who was supposed to do what. the important thing for those of us with SA, in my opinion, is that we open our mouths at all, to say what is on our minds. ~The finer points will come with time. So, well done.


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## plastics (Apr 11, 2010)

I agree with the person above. Just being able to say something to anyone is an accomplishment.


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## TooShyToScream (Jan 23, 2011)

leonardess said:


> you know, it doesn't matter so much who was supposed to do what. the important thing for those of us with SA, in my opinion, is that we open our mouths at all, to say what is on our minds. ~The finer points will come with time. So, well done.


Well to me it mattered, that's why I stood up for what I thought was right. If it didn't matter to me, I wouldn't have cared to speak up


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## sherbert (Jun 24, 2005)

It can be quite awkward to be the last person in the row too. In my english comp. class I somehow ended up being the guy who had to walk up two sets of papers b/c the seating arrangement was shaped as a 'U'. I'm wondering now if maybe someone else could've 'shared the burden'. I guess it's a lot like being in traffic. One person not letting you in is not a huge deal, but four people not letting you in is quite annoying. 

That's good though. It's important that you be able to assert yourself when you are able.


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## Haven (Jan 8, 2011)

Go, you! I think it's great that you spoke up.


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## layitontheline (Aug 19, 2009)

I love this thread because the whole paper issue actually makes me quite anxious. I get so nervous having to bring them to the front if I'm the last one to get the pile, but I'd never dump them on someone else to do it and I hate how lazy people can be. Anyways, I think that's very cool that you stood up for yourself!


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## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

Congrats!


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## TooShyToScream (Jan 23, 2011)

layitontheline said:


> I love this thread because the whole paper issue actually makes me quite anxious. I get so nervous having to bring them to the front if I'm the last one to get the pile, but I'd never dump them on someone else to do it and I hate how lazy people can be. Anyways, I think that's very cool that you stood up for yourself!


Thank you so much  I appreciate it.


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## jimbo1 (Dec 26, 2010)

nice, congrats for standing up for yourself:boogie


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## ForeverInBloom (Oct 4, 2010)

That's awesome. Take crap from nobody! Good that you stood up for yourself.


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

...I'm one of those people who pass extra papers up...I'm afraid to get up and hand them to the professor or say that there's extras. -_-


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## krista91 (Feb 11, 2011)

Well to be honest, whenever I have the chance, and I end up being the last person with the extra papers, I pass them up too. You may perceive me as "lazy" but in reality, I'm just super nervous to get up and walk all the way to the teacher's desk.. So don't be so quick to judge others, too.. They might suffer from the very thing as you do. But gongrats on standing up for yourself! =)


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## stylicho (Nov 8, 2003)

I was thinking the same thing. I think this paper issue is making a mountain out of a molehill. Maybe the last person is anxiety riddled too.


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## gohan (Dec 13, 2010)

So basically you chose to be rude to that girl because you were too scared to pass up the papers yourself.


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## Antis (Nov 2, 2010)

That's rude and uncalled for! Had you said that to me I'd have thought you were a dick. And yes, I am that person who asks others to pass on the extras, but I do it politely and without bad intention.


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## Absurd (Jul 17, 2010)

It's great you "stood up" for yourself...

But about making such a big deal about something so insignificant (and it seems there was no malicious intent on her part), I mean, come on, really? There's a difference between standing up for yourself and being a hyper-reactive.


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## Elizabeth419 (Sep 9, 2010)

It's not rude at all. She tried to get away with passing the papers up because she was too lazy and tried to take advantage of a shy person whom she thought wouldn't speak up for themselves. 

I'd have stood up for myself too, so good job!


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## Antis (Nov 2, 2010)

Elizabeth419 said:


> It's not rude at all. She tried to get away with passing the papers up because she was too lazy and tried to take advantage of a shy person whom she thought wouldn't speak up for themselves.
> 
> I'd have stood up for myself too, so good job!


To claim she only did it because he was shy is ludicrous. To be honest, the only reason I find it somewhat unacceptable is because this is a daily and normal routine we have in the classroom, we pass the sheets to the end and then the left-overs are passed back anti-clockwise through everybody, so it is effectively a team effort and not left to just 1 unlucky person to take to the front.


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## Elizabeth419 (Sep 9, 2010)

Antis said:


> To claim she only did it because he was shy is ludicrous. To be honest, the only reason I find it somewhat unacceptable is because this is a daily and normal routine we have in the classroom, we pass the sheets to the end and then the left-overs are passed back anti-clockwise through everybody, so it is effectively a team effort and not left to just 1 unlucky person to take to the front.


That may be the case for some classrooms, but in mine it isn't always like that. She probably did take advantage, people are like that.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

It was a good exercise, but for such a small issue. I'd be worried if there was something big that you needed to stand up for.

Big companies, look out. If you get a tense phone call....:um :lol

Well done on the exercise, though - A+ and three boogies :boogie :boogie :boogie


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## i just want luv (Feb 13, 2011)

hahaaaa! I want to be like you when im even older.


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## TheVigil1 (May 24, 2010)

I agree with a lot of what's been said. Definitely congrats for speaking your mind. I'm sure it wasn't easy for you.

But at the same time, keep in mind that the person asking you to pass up papers should not be seen as malicious or as an enemy. To be perfectly honest, if I were the person in the situation you described, my reaction would have been exactly the same. I would ask the person in front to pass the papers up, pause after the refusal, ask "what?", and then avoid the other person for fear of another outburst.

Again, I think it's important to keep speaking your mind, but avoid being rude or assuming the worst in others. 9 times out of 10, other people are much more similar to you than you might think!

That's my experience anyway...


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## JamieHasAnxiety (Feb 15, 2011)

Haha, great story! It's hard to speak up, trust me, I know the feeling. Not only speaking up, but reacting to situations that you want too, but don't due to you feel the outcome will be a disaster! I'm glad for your step forward, even though to me seemed a little silly, but non the less necessary! Good for you! =]


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