# cheating?



## christeeners (Mar 25, 2006)

going on an online dating site, posing as single to seek attention from males? talking and flirting?


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

It's only cheating if you are already going out with someone. Any kind of flirting to get that kind of attention from other guys means you aren't getting enough attention from your significant other. I know this is kind of abrupt, but it is something you might want to think about before pursuing. :stu


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## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

I dispise people who join dating sites and are in a relationship just to get attention from guys. Don't waste my time if you're not really available.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

i wouldnt consider it cheating as long as you dont do anything with them. its a good way to get some skills on socializing with the opposite sex. however, i dont think your partner would be pleased with that


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## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

its not cheating, though an obvious outcry of desperation of that persons part.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

If your boyfriend doesn't know or doesn't approve, then I'd consider it cheating, yeah. Of course. Especially since you're "posing as single".


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## Optimistic (Nov 4, 2006)

*Re: re: cheating?*



Zephyr said:


> If your boyfriend doesn't know or doesn't approve, then I'd consider it cheating, yeah. Of course. Especially since you're "posing as single".


Yeah, I think it's the "posing as single" and "flirting" part that's most problematic.

There's really a fine line that someone who's taken has to walk when socializing with the opposite sex. It's okay, I think, to be friendly or to share a very light and somewhat intermittent casual friendship, which is clearly indicated to be and remain that way, yet it's not okay to attempt to draw serious or sexual interest in any way or to spend much time (and that's subjective) with the other person.

Also, it's not okay for a guy (or girl) to have the "wandering eye" when involved in a relationship or out on a date.


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

Personally, if I were in a relationship and found out my girlfriend/wife was doing that I would feel very hurt.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

*Re: re: cheating?*

It really doesn't seem like an appropriate way of getting a self-esteem boost, unless her boyfriend doesn't mind that sort of thing.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

I think you need to drop your boyfriend because unless I'm misinterpreting you, you are coming off as using your boyfriend and no one deserves to be used. If you want to date online tell your boyfriend you just want to be friends or break all ties. 

How would you take it if your boyfriend did this to you and you found the site? Although this is nothing more than an indication as what really matters is how it would make him feel. 

Bottomline you need to talk to him about what's going on because if you don't you're leading the relationship to an ugly end.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

Not cheating, but it's sure as hell not something that would go over very well if I was in a relationship with a girl like that.


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## SAlovesme (Nov 15, 2006)

id say its horrible but im an extremely jealous person so i dun think my opinion should matter :yes


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## workman (Mar 5, 2004)

emotional cheating.


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## Optimistic (Nov 4, 2006)

*Re: re: cheating?*



scairy said:


> I think you need to drop your boyfriend because unless I'm misinterpreting you, you are coming off as using your boyfriend and no one deserves to be used. If you want to date online tell your boyfriend you just want to be friends or break all ties.
> 
> How would you take it if your boyfriend did this to you and you found the site? Although this is nothing more than an indication as what really matters is how it would make him feel.
> 
> Bottomline you need to talk to him about what's going on because if you don't you're leading the relationship to an ugly end.


Maybe I'm missing something, but how are we to know that what she/he is asking pertains to her/him?. :con


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## SunLite (Jan 4, 2005)

If it feels bad don't do it. That's my stand on cheating. Personally I love flirting but I'm not going to get into another girls pants while I have a gf.


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## sctork (Oct 23, 2006)

if the person is going behind her partners back and doing it, then it's lying. in that case, its just as bad as cheating, imo. if one is willing to lie about this, than i would assume they are willing to lie about other things too. its an issue of trust, really.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

*Re: re: cheating?*



Optimistic said:


> scairy said:
> 
> 
> > I think you need to drop your boyfriend because unless I'm misinterpreting you, you are coming off as using your boyfriend and no one deserves to be used. If you want to date online tell your boyfriend you just want to be friends or break all ties.
> ...


True so let me generalize, whoever is doing it I see it as an issue.


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## bent (Aug 4, 2005)

*Re: re: cheating?*



ColdFury said:


> I dispise people who join dating sites and are in a relationship just to get attention from guys. Don't waste my time if you're not really available.


it's true...a lot of people spend a lot of time and energy trying to find a partner on dating sites...not fair to them.

i don't think it's cheating but it is as equisgirl said a sign of desperation...something would be wrong in that relationship if that was going on. i would think the best would be to talk about it if possible with the boyfriend...who would be upset to learn that she clearly is not that happy.


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## SADLiath (Aug 5, 2005)

christeeners said:


> going on an online dating site


Not exactly a good idea, but not damning. I wouldn't like it but I might get over it if they had an explanation.



christeeners said:


> posing as single


Not technically cheating as no one else is involved, but sufficient reason for breaking up.



christeeners said:


> to seek attention from males


Seeking is still not technically cheating as they haven't _gotten_ attention yet, but even more reason to break up.



christeeners said:


> talking


Talking with the intent of flirting, bad and reason to break up, even though not technically cheating until the point of flirting is reached.



christeeners said:


> and flirting


Flirting? Cheating, cheating, cheating.

I would not continue dating anyone who did that.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

I just found out my ex was on an ADULT personals site while he was supposed to be dating me...we were together over 7 months and he had the nerve to do that......and this is a site where people have nude pictures and are only there for sexual encounters....makes me sick. uke 
It's no wonder I hate most people and find people to be absolutely repulsive. And he had the nerve to tell me he loved me....even after telling some ugly ***** that he liked her 2 weeks before he actually broke up with me....and still told me he loved me. Sick moron. :roll :wtf


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## Bon (Dec 24, 2005)

*Re: re: cheating?*



Little Miss Scare-All said:


> I just found out my ex was on an ADULT personals site while he was supposed to be dating me...we were together over 7 months and he had the nerve to do that......and this is a site where people have nude pictures and are only there for sexual encounters....makes me sick. uke
> It's no wonder I hate most people and find people to be absolutely repulsive. And he had the nerve to tell me he loved me....even after telling some ugly ***** that he liked her 2 weeks before he actually broke up with me....and still told me he loved me. Sick moron. :roll :wtf


Ouch, that would bite.

________________________________________

IMO, I believe emotional intimacy can be as bad, if not worse than being physically involved with someone.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

What an A-hole. Little Miss Scare-All, how did you find out he was on the site? Did he tell you or did you find out on your own?

It would be over if I knew the person I was dating was on some dating site. Obviously it means he's out looking for someone else and I'd gladly set his sorry *** free to find it.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

...


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

*Re: re: cheating?*



Strange Religion said:


> What an A-hole. Little Miss Scare-All, how did you find out he was on the site? Did he tell you or did you find out on your own?
> 
> It would be over if I knew the person I was dating was on some dating site. Obviously it means he's out looking for someone else and I'd gladly set his sorry *** free to find it.


I found out on my own...after the relationship was already over. All that time, I had no idea.... but I saw that he had been on there while we were supposed to be dating. :um



Drella's_Rock_Follies said:


> That really sucks. I'm sorry, Little Miss Scare-All.


Yes it does...thanks


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## Tania (Jan 8, 2005)

LOL I'm married, and in the past have joined a dating site posing as single. BUT it was because my girlfriend was dating someone with a profile, and was suspecting that he was still looking because his profile was still up, so I was sent as "bait". Boy, I *did* enjoy that male attention from men messaging me, but I told them right away that I was married and told them why I was on the site. My husband knew all about what was going on, too. He thought it was sad that I believed what other men said but don't believe him when he tells me how great I am. 

My husband is a really friendly guy, and many girls on his softball teams (that are in relationships) flirt with him. He actually enjoys it when guys try to flirt with me!


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

> He actually enjoys it when guys try to flirt with me!


That's kinky


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## Tania (Jan 8, 2005)

*Re: re: cheating?*



Zephyr said:


> > He actually enjoys it when guys try to flirt with me!
> 
> 
> That's kinky


LOL! His mentality is, yeah look all you want at what you can't have... because she is MINE :lol


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Yeah, stuff like that really pisses me off.

What about if you're not able to find out your significant other is fooling around on the internet? I guess what you don't know can't hurt you, but still, it's really hard to trust people nowadays with these dating sites and places like myspace around where it's so easy to interact with other people.


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