# I'm almost overcoming sad



## WeirdPsychology (May 29, 2012)

Hello guys.

I've had sad for almost 5 years, but now I think I'm really near to overcome this problem.

I no more feel physical disconfort as before and I can speak a lot better, much more clear and loud.

I hope soon I will be able to make some new friends and have a less ****ty life! 

(sorry if my english sucks, I'm not a native english speaker)


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## WhoDey85 (Sep 6, 2006)

That's great to hear man! I hope to get there some day.


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## Cileroot (Mar 6, 2012)

Any tips and tricks?  What method did you use?

And of course, congratz!


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## AmericanZero (Apr 17, 2012)

Well I am glad to hear this. I have also come a long way through depression and anxiety (pretty much all of my life actually) and I think when I start college in the fall it's going to be a major turning point for me.

I'm much better at staying calm and being witty and creative when I start talking to people than I have ever been. Also, I've stopped creating false reactions to my own words. For example, when I say something, I don't immediately assume "that sounded really dumb" or "she probably thinks I'm retarded" but instead I am just at the point where I don't really care and I'm ready to just let it rip and see what happens.

When I think, I'm at my worst.
When I'm just having fun, I'm at my best.


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## rawrguy (Mar 29, 2008)

Great to hear


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## Gary (Oct 19, 2008)

Great news man!


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## WeirdPsychology (May 29, 2012)

Thank you, guys!

Of course I have tips. My personal theory is that SAD is perfectionism. You think that you are not "good enough" so you try to "improve yourself" constantly. You can't speak properly because you filter your words affraid of saying something dumb. It's what happen with people in public speech. They are so affraid of saying something stupid that they start to stutter or can't even speak properly.

The physical discomfort is because you constantly try to find a "better" body position, then you end up in some "standardized" position. It's because you perfectionism goal is something unreachable, is impossible. You unconsciously think that there's something wrong with you, that people may react negatively.

I think that people stay shy even knowing that those thinkings are nonsense because unconsciously they keep believing them. But if you are really sure that those beliefs are meaningless, you will be able to easily defeat them!

I solved my physical discomfort gradually trying new positions (less "standardized") and stopping to "improve" my body position. To speak better, I just do not filter what I will say. I just think a bit before speaking (to know what I will say) and then I speak freely what I thought. It works well. But if I'm anxious, it's hard to think.

For while this is it. I can explain it better in others posts.  I hope this helps.


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## WeirdPsychology (May 29, 2012)

Any opinions about my method? It's working very well for me.

What I wrote is not all, actually is very shallow. There's a lot more to explain.


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

WeirdPsychology said:


> Any opinions about my method? It's working very well for me.
> 
> What I wrote is not all, actually is very shallow. There's a lot more to explain.


Yes, explain EVERYTHING 

Any help is always welcome when you're dealing with something as retarded as SAD.


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## tjames (Jan 31, 2012)

Hey weird psychology, congratulations on making such great progress with your SA. I agree that my SA has something to do with perfectionism. I become anxious when I feel that I am not able to perfectly say what I want to say. I have been making great progress myself and I am starting to see just saying something when it comes to my mind works just fine. My discomfort feels more like fight or flight. I think it has less to do with me standing in certain ways than it has to do with me being easily aroused. The way I am dealing so far is to work on diagrammatic breathing. I try to keep from holding my breath or breathing from my chest when I am anxious. I feel like this lowers my anxiety and that my body is starting to understand that it doesn’t have to fight as often.


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## WeirdPsychology (May 29, 2012)

Thanks. 

I can't win the presidential election yet, but I'm okay now. The next step is discover how to make friends being a introvert.

Also I'm planning to make an awesome guide, but I'll need to cure myselft and organize my ideias first.


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## rawrguy (Mar 29, 2008)

I like your thinking. Trying to be perfect with everything you say definitely does not help one overcome SA at all. I also think exposure to what you are afraid of is also a key part of overcoming SA.


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## Moment of Clarity (Nov 3, 2011)

WeirdPsychology said:


> My personal theory is that SAD is perfectionism. You think that you are not "good enough" so you try to "improve yourself" constantly.


 Agree. I constantly think "I'm not good enough" which only causes me to feel bad because I actually believe it sometimes. I have trouble standing up for myself even when my beliefs are what I need to stand up to.



> You can't speak properly because you filter your words affraid of saying something dumb. It's what happen with people in public speech. They are so affraid of saying something stupid that they start to stutter or can't even speak properly.


 I can speak fine, but I'm usually quiet, to the point where I feel like I have to speak, to avoid being completely mute.
I agree that my problem is related to perfectionism though. It goes something like:

1. Idea pops into my head. (I have something to say)
2. I quickly analyze it to estimate the expected responses.
3. I compare that estimation to, how I want my message to be perceived.
4. I probably begin to doubt my phrasing and think of ways to adjust it.
5. Unless I came up with something "worth saying" I'll probably just doubt my self and stay quite and anxious.

** It's crazy how that's the sort of junk I spend my time worrying about. I shouldn't care what others think but for some reason I do and feel trapped with my current approach.



> *You unconsciously think that there's something wrong with you, that people may react negatively.*


 Yep



> But if you are really sure that those beliefs are meaningless, you will be able to easily defeat them!


 I can see how the logic behind some of my beliefs is irrational, however I still doubt myself. Maybe I should try to drop those feelings though, aiming for a neutral opinion.



> I can explain it better in others posts.  I hope this helps.


Thought provoking and also a reminder of some good ideas.


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## lula218 (May 27, 2012)

I'm glad to hear this. Gives me hope


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## WeirdPsychology (May 29, 2012)

I will test my new ideas this monday. I thought in a trick to make friends naturally.

I'm a very introverted and quirky person, so I've difficult to socialize, but this trick is flawless!


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## Martinzky (Apr 10, 2012)

WeirdPsychology said:


> I will test my new ideas this monday. I thought in a trick to make friends naturally.
> 
> I'm a very introverted and quirky person, so I've difficult to socialize, but this trick is flawless!


What's the trick?

The way I make friends, when I do it, is to show genuine interest in another person, then continue the conversation by just saying whatever comes into my head.


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## WeirdPsychology (May 29, 2012)

Martinzky said:


> What's the trick?
> 
> The way I make friends, when I do it, is to show genuine interest in another person, then continue the conversation by just saying whatever comes into my head.


My ideia is still incomplete, but it's like you said. I think you need to show genuine interest in the person, be sincere and communicative. Then no one will think you are a psycho for being quiet. :lol


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

newbornmind said:


> Yes, explain EVERYTHING
> 
> Any help is always welcome when you're dealing with something as retarded as SAD.


so WeirdPsychology, are you going to explain any more of your method for improving?


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## WeirdPsychology (May 29, 2012)

newbornmind said:


> so WeirdPsychology, are you going to explain any more of your method for improving?


Thanks for asking. I will create a blog about social anxiety soon. I will write everything I know there.

I still don't began because vacation started before I thought, so I couldn't socialize and I can't consider myself cured.


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

good man, looking forward to your strategies. Any new tips can only help


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