# Stepfather being weird



## Rnieko (Sep 4, 2017)

Hello guys,

I have been living with my mum and stepfather that they have been married for 4 years, and to be honest I feel stressed with the situation about the way my stepfather looks at me. I have been living with them since I moved with my mum for 4 years, and to be honest now that I am growing and being a bright young woman I always caught my stepdad looking at my bumb or my chest (boobies) especially when we talking. Bleh

He is not my biological father, so I am not sure if this is normal or probably is. Is it?

But I think he might have a crush on me, because me, him and my mother we were talking to each other about love and relationships and he kept talking consistently about loving two woman and feeling sexually attracted to two woman. And my mum jokingly said about: ohh you might be in love with my daughter, but unfortunately she loves someone else. Because I was dating another boy recently, but we never came to our house or else I would like to see my stepdads reaction. It just feels weird, and sometimes I feel really stressed about it because he is a nice caring person but I feel really sad just to think he might have fantasies or a crush on me. Without saying he is very needy and touchy, I don't like touchy people at all but I tell him to not touch me that it really pisses me off. And most of the times he is very nagging, trying to criticise me as harm. Not sure if he is jealous of me and my mums relationship, because me and her we get along very well. And I have this feeling that whenever he is around I feel tense as if I want to run away from his vibe. 

Overall, I ignore all this idea or probably fact and try to be as nice and respect him as possible. I love my mother very much and wouldn't like her to feel unloved by the man. But still, I feel uncomfortable. 

Thanks.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

You're "growing"... How old are you?



Rnieko said:


> Overall, I ignore all this idea or probably fact and try to be as nice and respect him as possible. I love my mother very much and wouldn't like her to feel unloved by the man.


If he feels this way towards *you*, then how strong can his love be for *her*? Wouldn't she be better off with someone who has eyes for her and her alone?


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

How old are you? Two women? Your mom is ok with him saying that? He shouldn't be looking at you like that. He's your dad so not right.


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## Rnieko (Sep 4, 2017)

I am 20 years old already lol. I am still living with them, the situation makes me uncomfortable and I confront him but he tells me: I am not staring at you. It really pisses me off, because my mum she knows but well we are a strange family. We talk openly about sex, relationships and social anxieties with one another, is just about this matter that I have to confront him and tell him that it really makes me uncomfortable and stresses me. 

I feel like he doesn't considere me as his family, that I am just another woman living with him. 

And that somehow he wants my mums attention and when he doesn't get it he comes to annoy me. Although, the staring at my butt really pisses me off! And I tell him to stop, I think he stares automatically without realising, it's disgusting.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Gross tell your mom.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Rnieko said:


> I am 20 years old already lol. I am still living with them, the situation makes me uncomfortable and I confront him but he tells me: I am not staring at you. It really pisses me off, because my mum she knows but well we are a strange family. We talk openly about sex, relationships and social anxieties with one another, is just about this matter that I have to confront him and tell him that it really makes me uncomfortable and stresses me.
> 
> I feel like he doesn't considere me as his family, that I am just another woman living with him


The way you describe it, yeah, it does sound like you're 'just another woman living with him'. Is your mother really party to it? Or is she just sort of in denial, or willfully blind, or not wanting to disturb the family dynamic?

There is no right or wrong way for you handle it -- it's really about what works best for you.

It sounds like you're doing the best you can. You confront him about, you tell him to stop, your mother is already aware of it.



Kevin001 said:


> Gross tell your mom.


Yeah, I'd say have a real (no joking around) one-on-one talk with your mother about it, telling her what you have objectively observed, how it makes you feel, and what changes you'd like to see.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

You may be only another woman living with him but regardless of that, if you have to tell him not to touch you he's already crossed the line. You should tell him if he touches you again you're calling the cops.


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## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

Well it is kind of creepy but some people are like that, some people are just kind of sick sexually lol. If he is a caring person and if he doesnt take his desires(if he has them) to the next level then i guess try not to worry so much about it, you arent his biological daughter.


Edit: if he touches you inappropriately then that is a bad sign.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

He's behavior is inappropiate and disrespectful to both your mom and yourself. IMO, you need to tell your mom how you feel about this.


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## Taaylah (Apr 5, 2012)

I'm dealing with this as well. It's gross and uncomfortable and it sucks. I think you should just try to keep your distance as much as possible. Don't hang out with him, sit in the living room with him, or start a conversation with him without your mom there. You don't have to try to make it work and be nice anymore. He's clearly incapable of respecting your boundaries so there's no point. He's disrespectful. Talk to him only when it's absolutely neccessary. That's what I'm doing until I can get a job and move out.


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