# Literally Zero Friends



## nardly (May 21, 2015)

I don't know how many people here have absolutely no friends at all. I had one friend left the senior year of high school but i didn't feel comfortable talking to him. For some reason i couldn't act natural and be goofy or say whatever came to mind. Now two years later i have literally no friends. The only people i talk to are my parents sister and maybe a few words to coworkers. My sister is like the only person i feel comfortable joking around with or talking to and i don't really know why. Sometimes i feel glad to be alone but then i wonder if i would rather have done things with other people. I mean i have never been to a party or been any any kind of relationship. 
I have trouble coming up with things to talk about... i hold back saying things because i don't know what peoples reactions will be

I wondered if anyone had any advice...


----------



## iCod (Feb 17, 2015)

Hey, you're not alone, OP.

Naturally I'm a huge loner who hates spending time with other people, so friends just never really worked for me.


----------



## jim11 (May 23, 2011)

I now got 0 friend.


----------



## Hylar (Jul 15, 2014)

I also have no friends irl, and haven't done for like 7 years - I have few online though which is nice


----------



## chessman6500 (Sep 5, 2013)

I'm lucky to even have one IRL friend who I see almost every weekend.


----------



## GraciaSeinoPie (Sep 12, 2014)

I'm used to have a lot of friends back in junior. But then, I don't know why or how, I started to lose more and more friends. Now, when I'll be graduating university next month, I have only one left. Sometimes I don't understand why I couldn't uphold a relationship. Things always start out fine, it seems to me, but then as time passes, the relationship just couldn't work.

I'd like to think that I'm a loner, and I enjoy time alone rather than spending it with people. I comfort with that kind of thought. What bothers me is that, I don't know if I really am a loner, or it's just an excuse to make myself less miserable. I don't know how to discern between what I really feel and what is an excuse I make up. I don't mind being a loner. I'm just scared that I make myself believe I'm a loner in order not to be hurt so much. Because that's just miserable.

Sorry, I'm rambling about myself. But I think I could kind of understand how you feel. I think the number is not important, and as long as you are comfortable being alone, then everything is fine. Not everyone has the privilege of having friends. I've learned that lesson a while back.


----------



## Sopeseasia (May 20, 2015)

I have one IRL friend. I talk to him about once every couple months. He sometimes visit. Other than that, Ive been to zero parties or school dances. BTW he and I are very different, i guess thats why we don't really talk much. 

I have ZERO close friends, just like you and maybe others on this forums.


----------



## Hylar (Jul 15, 2014)

GraciaSeinoPie said:


> I'd like to think that I'm a loner, and I enjoy time alone rather than spending it with people. I comfort with that kind of thought. What bothers me is that, I don't know if I really am a loner, or it's just an excuse to make myself less miserable. I don't know how to discern between what I really feel and what is an excuse I make up. I don't mind being a loner. I'm just scared that I make myself believe I'm a loner in order not to be hurt so much. Because that's just miserable.


This is pretty much how I feel too. It's confusing, for sure!


----------



## NE2 (May 5, 2015)

Me for ten years.

If you want to try making friends, check meetup.com for something near you. I've made a couple at a depression support group (they took the initiative when they heard my story about wanting to make friends but not knowing where to start).

I also have some acquaintances from other groups, who may become friends in the future. And I made an enemy


----------



## LoneCat (Jul 18, 2013)

I haven't had any real life friends since I was 13. I'm obviously a huge introvert, but that doesn't mean I don't get lonely.


----------



## Sparkle0 (May 23, 2015)

0 friends here. I'm pretty isolated, only person I really talk to on a daily basis is my mom. I'm introverted so it's usually ok, but lately I've been getting lonely and sad. I used to have 2 super close friends for like 10 years even though I relocated we kept in touch and I came to visit & vice versa. but we grew apart & there was some drama that happened that left me feeling c*ppy. I haven't talked to them in Maybe 2 years now.


----------



## arja (May 16, 2015)

I have 0 friends IRL, only acquaintances for now with whom I can go to coffee.
But I hope to make some friends  I need to be more active and take the initiative, but it`s hard for me. I fear too much to be rejected.


----------



## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

I dont have any friends anymore have not had one for 8 years but when did i was crap friend anyway so better off been this way and as for online dont have any either


----------



## jk90 (May 17, 2015)

This is pretty much the situation I'm in right now. I really need to take steps towards meeting people but I'm really struggling with bad depression and low energy levels also.


----------



## qwiet (Dec 6, 2014)

i had friends i could call and do things with a long time ago...but then i moved away.

it's hard to make friends now. everyone has their own friends and dont really need you or want to put in any effort to become friends.


----------



## HauntedByAFreak (May 20, 2015)

I haven't had any friends for at least 10 years. I know being so socially isolated is a bad thing and I should take steps to meet new people but whenever I have I tend to mess up. I did look to see if there was a social anxiety group local to me but it's no longer running and to be honest I probably wouldn't of attended if it was. I'm naturally a loner but that doesn't mean I don't get lonely.


----------



## JayDivision (Aug 23, 2010)

I'm in the same situation, but I don't know how much of my social isolation is because of SA and how much of it is due to me be a natural loner. I'm at a point where it feels like a chore to keep friends.


----------



## That Random Guy (Jan 31, 2015)

I've had zero friends for the past 6 years. I'm 20. Just finished my 2nd year of college.

High school was hell, and I ended up ruining relationships with certain family members because of my inability to "make friends". My reputation and presence was destroyed and now I feel like whenever I go to visit my cousin-who I grew up with-his family (_my aunt and uncle_) just put on airs to compensate for the fact that him and I get along better than I do with his sister (_my cousin_)-who I happened to get distant from since I started going to school with them. I lived with them shortly prior to the situation... and things were great. We all got along together, but now I feel like they just wear a mask. The reality has changed gravely, and I often feel hopeless when I'm confronted with her. I feel stuck, but the words "I'm sorry" just don't come out.

As you could imagine, my impression on the folks who were raised together (_peers_) expecting something from the new guy (me) wasn't all that good, especially with the SA.

I don't know what it was she (_my cousin_) felt when I was alone practically every day, but I think I ruined the figure she saw in me.

I often got the feeling that she looked up to me as were a year a part, but after I started isolating myself from everyone (_at school_), and I was considered an outcast, the person she thought was "cool" was gone.

And then, maybe she started to resent me at that point. That's my theory.

It's not my fault! The people here were the worst! I even got to talk with a foreign exchange student once who was visiting due to their folks transfer to our location, and do you know what they told me?

"The people here are too judgmental and self-centered."

At that moment, I realized, it wasn't *me*. At least, not *entirely*, but it was *them*!

All *their* social bull crap and and stigma wasn't something I wanted to take part in because the people (_my peers_) were just a bunch of freaking *******s who made an effort to show that to the rest of the world! I nearly went insane just listening to their pathetic and worthless jibber jabber. The fought amongst themselves! They talked behind each other's backs! *Why would I ever want to be a part of that?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!*

What was the *reality* though? Maybe, I was *jealous*. Maybe, I was *envious*. Maybe, I was *hating* myself for thinking I wasn't *normal*.

And yet, my cousin thinks I'm the weird one? **** that. I hate the fact that I moved here but I don't regret it.

Being an outcast has led me to understand a lot about myself and I've learned quite a bit.

Anyway, deep down I'm a nice person, boring maybe, but nice. I was always comfortable with family, so you could imagine the stress and awkwardness I felt when visiting my cousins who I went to school with. We never saw each other except on rare occasion, but the deed had been done. In the beginning, they both tried to help me "fit in" and find "friends", but I refused to comply, and the SA took over. I think that's what finished it all...

In any case, the years went on, and my situation didn't get any better. Still no friends, and then I finally graduated.

I always thought of myself as mature for my age, and well, that held true to a certain degree, but I definitely lacked the social skills to back some of that up.

I started college, and I turned myself around. My personality changed to a more positive one, and my conscience was at peace for once. I was OK being me, and those social pressures to fit-in were no longer there. I adapted quickly to the college atmosphere, and things were starting to look up. As I mentioned before, I'm no good at certain social situations/events, but I try my best. I'm not shy, so I'll speak my mind if I can, and I'm in all honesty just a down to earth guy. Although.. I am quite wishy-washy. College gave me a better chance to improve on myself, so I did. I did what I could, and tried to get the most out of the experience. It felt good being me after all that time of being consumed in my self-loathing and isolation. While I didn't necessarily get along with anyone in particular, I was able to socialize more and I found that we're not all that too different on the inside. We *all *get lonely.

I still have no friends, but I'm more confident in myself and I feel free to do as I see fit.

I understand things that I didn't before, and I still regret a couple of decisions I made in the past, but now I want to move on and accomplish my goals.

I may be lonely now, but there are various reasons for that, and I assure you they're good ones.

As someone mentioned before, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. I feel like I just haven't met the people that are right for me quite yet.

In any case, I wish you the best!

May your future endeavors be prosperous!

- _Bryan_


----------



## lmao (Feb 20, 2012)

All you guys just need to be yourselves.


----------



## Mustafa (Aug 15, 2012)

Most people pretend to be nice but they are nothing more than good actors, once you show any kind of submissiveness and weakness they will take advantage of it to boost their self esteem. Most people enjoy others misery, nice people in this cold cruel world are a minority. Well know that the tables have turned and all my problems are gone I will stop what I've been all my life, a nice submissive guy. How foolish could I have been all these years thinking by being nice and being passive others will like me and my social life will be good. As I found out the hard way it's the complete opposite. I need to remind myself the human social structure is very similar to other animals dominated by hormones, if you are a weak person you will get shown no mercy by these actors, only way to be successful in life in General is to be as dominant and more antisocial as possible. I mean, me personally I have nothing to lose. No one chose to born into a ****ed up world were your "fellow" humans can't even put themselves in your shoes.


----------



## Demure (Jul 14, 2014)

Honestly, I've found that the best way to make friends is (ironically) to not care about making friends. When I try too hard to make friends, I end up with superficial acquaintances. When I do my own thing, I eventually end up becoming friends with the genuine people in my classes/clubs. Because if you try too hard, you're covering up the real you. Tacky as it sounds, you must ALWAYS stay true to yourself.


----------



## fleurdelily (May 24, 2015)

We're in the same boat. I'm 16, homeschooled, and my mother and I just moved to California. I never go anywhere without her, as I feel unsafe alone.


----------

