# Do most therapists simply suck?



## norad (Oct 24, 2011)

I came across a book written by someone who was depressive for 20 years and went from one therapist to the other before he finally found one who was able to help him, unfortunately this book isn't available in the English language but I read a review and it was really concerning and I fear that what he writes about could be right. For example he complains that unlike doctors psychotherapists operate in a space where they can pretty much do whatever they want and noone controls them. If they fail and suck at what they do then there is noone to evaluate them or to correct them. He wrote that many of them are arrogant and if they cannot help then they blame the patients and that they also show little empathy because this could be interpreted as weakness. What if this is generally the case? Then I'd really rather talk to a counselor or pastor who at least shows empathy. Sometimes I watch a show where people can call in and talk about problems and even though the host is not a therapist he always shows empathy and this is something I really appreciate. Even if your problem cannot get solved then at least feeling that the other person cares and is affected by your problems is already worth a lot but if the therapist just sits there and acts like your problems are no big deal and then comes up with ridiculous advice which suck and expects that you totally embrace them and complement him for his genius then this doesn't help at all.


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## Blawnka (Dec 12, 2011)

I'm my experience I honestly see very few therapists that truly know what they're doing, most of them know to some extent, but they run out of stuff to say/suggest, etc. If the stuff they say doesn't help. I've only been to 3 or 4, but I had friends tell me of some that were very intelligent and whatnot.


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## norad (Oct 24, 2011)

That's discouraging. If there are so little good ones out there does it even make sense to try to find a good one risking that you waste time and money and probably even get upset over stupid advice?


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## anthrotex (Oct 24, 2011)

There is someone to evaluate them. Patients. If nobody sees them, they'll be out of a job. Therapists are merely human, they try their best. Just like friends, some people click, some people repel each other. You just have to find one right for you.


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## trendyfool (Apr 11, 2010)

^Agreed. Neither of the two therapists I have seen have been arrogant at all; though I didn't really like the first one, the therapist I have now is great. Therapists are not some special class of people, they're people just like us, and there will be good and bad therapists, arrogant and non-arrogant, kind and unkind, just like any other group of people.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

Yes.

FWIW, I've been in five different psych hospitals / drug rehabs, not counting the ones that just held me for 24 hrs for evaluation, and I've seen probably 30 therapists and psychiatrists.

Most of them don't know what they're doing.


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## norad (Oct 24, 2011)

That sucks. How can you even tell if a therapist "knows what he is doing"?
I want to be able to tell this fast and not waste many sessions. I also think that if a therapist sucks he doesn't deserve to be paid for it that's why I want to be able to tell if someone sucks or not as fast as possible. Just think about how much they earn. There are people who work hard for an entire day or even longer for the money which they get in 1 hour and they basically don't do much expect sit there and through out a thought or in many cases a simple brain fart every now and then. That's really a joke. I think I should have become a psychologist, too. Probably not many ways to make easier money.


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## ramelxa (Nov 11, 2011)

Yeah, I sort of felt it was a waste of time as well. I felt good about going for 4 months just because I overcame the fear of doing so, but all they will do is slowly budge you and assure you to do what you don't want to, and if you fight that too much they will either go drug route or say that you can take your time while they rake the money from your visits.


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## norad (Oct 24, 2011)

Should a good therapist have something like a plan and should he know how to proceed and move on when you tell him what your problems are? Or is it usually the way that you sit down with him and he looks at you and waits for you to start talking? I don't like it at all when I feel like he has no real goal and just sits there and talks to you for 60 minutes and then next time he doesn't even pick up where you stopped last time. But maybe that's also not very realistic I don't know. Maybe I expect too much.
For example in the first session I tried to mention all my problems and then in the later session they weren't even adressed anymore. If I had wanted to discuss them again, which I didn't want to after the comments I got right in the first session, I would have had to bring them up myself. 
I think a good therapist should take notes and you should also have the impression that he really puts thoughts into this and that he also addresses issues which you mentioned on his own and asks questions about it.


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## Green Eyes (Sep 6, 2009)

norad said:


> Should a good therapist have something like a plan and should he know how to proceed and move on when you tell him what your problems are? Or is it usually the way that you sit down with him and he looks at you and waits for you to start talking? I don't like it at all when I feel like he has no real goal and just sits there and talks to you for 60 minutes and then next time he doesn't even pick up where you stopped last time. But maybe that's also not very realistic I don't know. Maybe I expect too much.
> For example in the first session I tried to mention all my problems and then in the later session they weren't even adressed anymore. If I had wanted to discuss them again, which I didn't want to after the comments I got right in the first session, I would have had to bring them up myself.
> I think a good therapist should take notes and you should also have the impression that he really puts thoughts into this and that he also addresses issues which you mentioned on his own and asks questions about it.


The first session is mostly about why you're here and what problems you have. I hate it when a therapist expect you to do most of the talking. I know it's you who seeks help and that. But it's for someone with sa very hard, at least for me. Most therapist I have had just ask how I'm doing and then about what I want to talk about.

The therapist I have now is good. At one of the first sessions she explained what I can expect. I got a workbook that we use. There's a plan. This is much better for me.

So I think most therapist sucks. I know they're only human but it;s their job. If they don't know what to do with a person with sa, they should be honest about that. About 3 years ago I had intensive therapy. I lived in a house with other patients for 5 days a week. Before they accepted me I had to do a lot of test. There I heard for the first time that I had social anxiety disorder. And they said they could help me. There worked about 10 therapist and 2 psychiaters. Most of them sucked. Somewhere close to the end of my therapy one of them even said to me that they didn't really knew what to do with me. She said that in one of our last conversations. She should have said that earlier! Stupid *****!

But know, after 6 years of severe sa and a worthless lonely life without school, friends and work and useless therapist I finally have a good therapist who knows what she talk about.


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## tanya elizabeth (Dec 14, 2011)

anthrotex said:


> There is someone to evaluate them. Patients. If nobody sees them, they'll be out of a job. Therapists are merely human, they try their best. Just like friends, some people click, some people repel each other. You just have to find one right for you.


So true. I really like the one I have now, I feel we have a good connection and he knows how to challenge me just the right amount for me. But I can understand how people who haven't found a therapist that works for them feel discouraged about therapists in general.


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## norad (Oct 24, 2011)

Hi, I am glad you found a good therapist.


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