# Braless around male housemates? Need advice/opinions please



## TianaD (Sep 24, 2016)

Hey people 

Need advice/opinions please

I am studying and currently rent a room in a house that has 3 males. The guy I rent from and his son and another guy who rents the other room.

The issue is, obviously its uncomfortable wearing a bra all day long so most of the time when I'm home, I don't wear a bra.

Admittedly I have a jelous kind of boyfriend and when he came over the other night and noticed I wasn't wearing a bra, he kinda got pretty upset saying it looked unclassy (he used other words tho)

I explained to him that its quite uncomfortable wearing a bra all day and night but he just doesn't understand because he doesn't have to wear one!

I do have prominent nipples, but I Dont think this really changes the fact that I should be able to be comfortable.

What do you girls and guys think on the subject?

Thanks!


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## Carolyne (Sep 20, 2016)

Just tell him he has no say in what you wear and then refuse to discuss it further.


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## TianaD (Sep 24, 2016)

Carolyne said:


> Just tell him he has no say in what you wear and then refuse to discuss it further.


Thanks

I'm just trying to do it in a way that doesn't involve a big disagreement


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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

What do I have to say? You're turning me on.


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## ShadowOne (Jun 27, 2016)

Be comfortable. its a little misogynistic to say you look "unclassy" in that scenario

tell him to wear a bra for a few hours


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## Carolyne (Sep 20, 2016)

TianaD said:


> Thanks
> 
> I'm just trying to do it in a way that doesn't involve a big disagreement


That's the idea. This isn't worth fighting about, so don't let him make it a fight. Tell him, with no uncertainty, that it is not his choice what you wear at home. He's told you how he feels, you told him how you feel, there's nothing left to discuss. If he continues to bring it up then remind him that you've already heard and considered his concerns.


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## Carolyne (Sep 20, 2016)

Callsign said:


>


The most visible nipples in tv history. Did they do that on purpose?


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## TianaD (Sep 24, 2016)

ShadowOne said:


> Be comfortable. its a little misogynistic to say you look "unclassy" in that scenario
> 
> tell him to wear a bra for a few hours


True. I've pretty much told him, he doesn't understand how it feels


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

The bigger problem is the male housemates... He doesn't care about the bra as much as the other dudes there probably enjoying it immensely.


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## TianaD (Sep 24, 2016)

knightofdespair said:


> The bigger problem is the male housemates...


Ok so why is it ok for them to walk around in their jocks but I can't be braless?

Btw its my bf that's complained about the braless issue. Not my housemates.


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## TianaD (Sep 24, 2016)

knightofdespair said:


> The bigger problem is the male housemates... He doesn't care about the bra as much as the other dudes there probably enjoying it immensely.


I Dont believe they are enjoying it "immensely"

I realize they are guys. But none act wierd or anything at all


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## TianaD (Sep 24, 2016)

knightofdespair said:


> The bigger problem is the male housemates... He doesn't care about the bra as much as the other dudes there probably enjoying it immensely.


And I'm not walking around naked or something. I'm clothed


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Damn what kind of house is this lol... Every guy I know would have noticed and gave each other the thumbs up even if they don't say anything to you about it.

The root of his concern is the other guys, not what you are wearing. Generally it is weird for someone you're dating to live with other men.


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## AllTheSame (Mar 19, 2016)

TianaD said:


> Btw its my bf that's complained about the braless issue. Not my housemates.


Heh. No doubt....I'm sure it was. I'm sure your housemates thought there was nothing "unclassy" about it whatsoever.


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## scooby (Jun 24, 2009)

Honestly just do whatever you feel is comfortable for you. It's your home and your choice. If he has an issue with it, its his problem. Unfortunately I'm not sure if there is a more delicate way to deal with this problem though with your boyfriend. Only thing to do is be firm but respectful when discussing it with him if it comes up again.


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

Carolyne said:


> The most visible nipples in tv history. Did they do that on purpose?


Why else would guys watch?

I side with the boyfriend. Either wear dark clothes that aren't reveling, or wear a semi comfortable bra. He probably already doesn't like the fact of you living with three other guys to begin with.


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## TianaD (Sep 24, 2016)

knightofdespair said:


> Damn what kind of house is this lol... Every guy I know would have noticed and gave each other the thumbs up even if they don't say anything to you about it.
> 
> The root of his concern is the other guys, not what you are wearing. Generally it is weird for someone you're dating to live with other men.


Yeh i wouldn't normally have chosen to live with guys but I study and needed to find a place quick and this was the only decent place I could find.


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

Classified said:


> Why else would guys watch?
> 
> I side with the boyfriend. Either wear dark clothes that aren't reveling, or wear a semi comfortable bra. He probably already doesn't like the fact of you living with three other guys to begin with.


I remember the fake nipple craze of the 90s, very brief early 2000s. Like bras with nipples on them so that they can even show through sweaters. It was a peacocking bra. So funny. There were, and probably still are, bubble-butt pants with built in bubbling effect. Lol.



TianaD said:


> Yeh i wouldn't normally have chosen to live with guys but I study and needed to find a place quick and this was the only decent place I could find.


Ok. Here's my advice. He sounds like an butt-clown, but if you want him around you, I guess go with this--tell him about your flatmates not ogling or coming onto you and that things are very casual and those guys are not a threat. People have their bad moments, sure, but he's still a butt-clown. Not wearing a bra isn't that big a deal. Tell him to wear a codpiece next time he brings it up. Tell him he's looking wimpy without a major bulge.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

If it doesn't bother _you_, then **** it do what you want.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Classified said:


> ...or wear a semi comfortable bra.


Sometimes I suspect that such a thing does not exist. :/


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## TianaD (Sep 24, 2016)

Me too!


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## Svarog11 (Jul 15, 2016)

TianaD said:


> Ok so why is it ok for them to walk around in their jocks but I can't be braless?
> 
> Btw its my bf that's complained about the braless issue. Not my housemates.


but of course they won't complain they probably like it. and it sounds a little bit as if you're cheating (to me at least, it sounds like it can be interpreted that way) if you dress that way and are comfortable with other men seeing you that way, your boyfriend is right it is trashy but other users are right it is your choice whether to be trashy or not


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## Furiosa (Jun 2, 2015)

Do what ever makes you comfortable! If you want to go without a bra, treat yourself, screw what other people think. It's not trashy in the slightest.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

If I was your bf I would feel uncomfortable as well. Not because of anything you're doing......its the roommates that I don't trust. Just having my girl share a place with 3 other guys would make me uneasy........I know how guys are trust me.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

TianaD said:


> I do have prominent nipples
> 
> What do you guys think on the subject?


Really can't give a good opinion on the latter without pics of the former.

Just saying :cig


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## VanitysFiend (Jun 13, 2016)

Carolyne said:


> The most visible nipples in tv history. Did they do that on purpose?


Is that when u first realised :wink Also probably yes...


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## Carolyne (Sep 20, 2016)

VanitysFiend said:


> Is that when u first realised :wink Also probably yes...


Ha, I didn't even watch friends, that show ended when I was only 15. Only saw reruns later as an adult.


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## TianaD (Sep 24, 2016)

Svarog11 said:


> TianaD said:
> 
> 
> > Ok so why is it ok for them to walk around in their jocks but I can't be braless?
> ...


I can't believe anyone would really think it is trashy. I'm still fully clothed but I respect your opinion


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

expect him to have boners....


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## Callum96 (Jul 18, 2013)

He shouldn't get to decide what you wear anywhere, especially in your own home and especially if it affects your comfort

If your housemates have mental ages above about 16 then they'll quickly get over it and stop even noticing you being braless


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## TianaD (Sep 24, 2016)

Callum96 said:


> He shouldn't get to decide what you wear anywhere, especially in your own home and especially if it affects your comfort
> 
> If your housemates have mental ages above about 16 then they'll quickly get over it and stop even noticing you being braless


Thanks


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## Red October (Aug 1, 2016)

I had a female housemate when I was at university, she was usually braless around the house.

Never really seemed like a big deal


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## AllTheSame (Mar 19, 2016)

I actually think it's fine. Like I've told you before, you have no intentions of cheating, and as long as your crystal clear about that and communicate that to your bf, and let him know it has nothing to do with trying to flirt or come onto them it shouldn't be a problem.

If your relationship is one where he is so controlling that he tells you how to dress then that's really sad. And....at the same time...I think you should realize it might cause some insecurity. You are living with three other guys. Not saying it's right or wrong for him to feel that way. It just might be an issue.

~sent from my GalaxyS4


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## TianaD (Sep 24, 2016)

Thanks everyone


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

You need to get them girls under control. Get a sports bra or something that is soft yet supportive.


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## Rains (Jan 20, 2016)

I never sleep with bras on but I always wear something when there are others around. It's easy to get nice wireless bras now and they're comfortable enough that you forget you're wearing them. That being said it's not a big deal. Some people just need to grow up and quit being so immature about the human body.


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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

Honestly, I think I'd be a little uncomfortable if my GF were sharing a house with 3 guys. Having your nipples on display would make it even worse, lol.

HOWEVER, these would be MY insecurities to work on. You are doing absolutely wrong and you are in NO WAY required to wear a bra just to help your boyfriend sleep at night. It's your body, not his.

Basically, I can sympathize with the way your boyfriend feels, but he is still in the wrong for telling you what to do. If he doesn't trust you enough to be faithful and the setting you are living in makes him uncomfortable, perhaps he shouldn't be in a relationship. Those types of thoughts are absolutely toxic and exhausting to deal with - for both parties involved.


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

Tell your boyfriend to wear a bra just for one day and see if he enjoy the experience lol


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

Honestly, I really don't think it's a big deal. It's not some huge faux-pas to go about without a bra on. I see women doing it in public all the time. As long as it's not something super tight and revealing, what's the big deal? If you wear thick fabrics or baggy t-shirts, nobody can really tell anyway.

The 'relaxing at home' look I'm picturing is big t-shirt/hoodie, trackies/sweatpants, no makeup and scruffy hair. That's my standard, anyway. I've lived with male housemates for most of my life (including as a kid/teenager) and _regularly_ gone about the house with no bra on. I doubt anyone is gonna get a boner over that no-bra look. Bras are uncomfortable, you should be able to be comfortable in your own house.



Kevin001 said:


> If I was your bf I would feel uncomfortable as well. Not because of anything you're doing......its the roommates that I don't trust. Just having my girl share a place with 3 other guys would make me uneasy........I know how guys are trust me.


Yeah, I can totally understand that. My boyfriend said the same thing when I was looking for a new place to live recently - right down to "I know what guys are like, it's them I don't trust". He doesn't care if I live with male housemates as long as I'm not the only girl in the house. Doesn't bother me because I feel the same way anyway. The idea of being the one female in an all-male house is very uncomfortable to me.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

lisbeth said:


> Yeah, I can totally understand that. My boyfriend said the same thing when I was looking for a new place to live recently - right down to "I know what guys are like, it's them I don't trust". He doesn't care if I live with male housemates as long as I'm not the only girl in the house. Doesn't bother me because I feel the same way anyway. The idea of being the one female in an all-male house is very uncomfortable to me.


Yep :high5


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## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

Overdrive said:


> Tell your boyfriend to wear a bra just for one day and see if he enjoy the experience lol


that would only do any good if he was fat and had moobs. lol.

as far as the original post, i suppose she can do what she wants. if she knows fine well her nipples are visible then those guys will just have to not pay any attention to it. after some time they'll probably get used to it and maybe begin to ignore it

mind you, i wouldn't feel comfortable going around with no underwear on because id feel self conscious with an unsupported tool flopping around... lol


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

lisbeth said:


> Honestly, I really don't think it's a big deal. It's not some huge faux-pas to go about without a bra on. I see women doing it in public all the time. As long as it's not something super tight and revealing, what's the big deal? If you wear thick fabrics or baggy t-shirts, nobody can really tell anyway.


I agree with this and was going to say something similar. OP, as long as you aren't going prancing around in front of your roommates in skin tight t-shirts or tank tops without a bra on then I don't see the problem. I mean I'm not saying you can't do that if you wanted to, it's your home too, it's just that I could definitely see how that would cause your BF some distress.


lisbeth said:


> The 'relaxing at home' look I'm picturing is big t-shirt/hoodie, trackies/sweatpants, no makeup and scruffy hair. That's my standard, anyway. I've lived with male housemates for most of my life (including as a kid/teenager) and _regularly_ gone about the house with no bra on. I doubt anyone is gonna get a boner over that no-bra look. Bras are uncomfortable, you should be able to be comfortable in your own house.


OP, If this is similar to what you usually wear while relaxing at home then I don't see any problem with not wearing a bra at home.


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## thomasjune (Apr 7, 2012)

Not gonna lie..I'd probably be a bit uncomfortable too if my gf was walking around with her nipples showing around those guys.
You may be at home but you're not living alone.
Not saying that he should try to control you..just saying that I don't blame him for being upset.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

Svarog11 said:


> it sounds a little bit as if you're cheating (to me at least, it sounds like it can be interpreted that way) if you dress that way and are comfortable with other men seeing you that way


^ Most unreasonable definition of cheating ever seen outside of Saudi Arabia.


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## andy0128 (Dec 19, 2003)

I think the only downside would be flat toilet paper shortages.


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## Svarog11 (Jul 15, 2016)

Paul said:


> ^ Most unreasonable definition of cheating ever seen outside of Saudi Arabia.


I don't know, but I personally would not be comfortable around men I do not know walking around without a bra if I was a girl, maybe some people are different the girl I live with (who lives here with her bf) basically walks around in panties so I guess some people are different.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

The roommates will get used to it. No big deal. Bras are unnecessary and at home are a burden. I never wear a bra at home. The second I get home, the bra comes off.

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...d-to-walk-around-braless-at-home-with-550194/


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## TianaD (Sep 24, 2016)

Thanks everyone for your replies

I really appreciate it


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