# Santa Jokes



## Reachinghigher (Jul 12, 2008)

tis the season  anyone have any Santa Jokes? *Edit: add any Christmas or holiday joke *


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## Reachinghigher (Jul 12, 2008)

*Christmas Jokes*

^ funny


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## Reachinghigher (Jul 12, 2008)

^ :lol










Why does Santa always go down the chimney?
_Because it soots him!_
What does Mrs. Claus sing to Santy on his birthday?
_"__Freeze a jolly good fellow!"_
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a duck?
_A Christmas Quacker!_
An honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus were walking down the street and saw a $20 bill. Which one picked it up??
_Santa! The other two don't exist!_
What do you do if Santa Claus gets stuck in your chimney?
_Pour Santa flush on him!_
What does Santa say to the toys on Christmas Eve?
_Okay everyone, sack time!_
What do the elves call it when Père Noël claps his hands at the end of a play?
_Santapplause!_
Why does Santa like to work in his garden?
_Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!_
What do you call a kitty on the beach on Christmas morning?
_Sandy Claws!_
Who delivers presents to dentist offices?
_Santa Jaws!_
Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants?
_Elephanta Claus!_
What do you get if Santa comes down the chimney while the fire is still burning?
_Crisp Kringle!_
Why does St. Nicholas have a white beard?
_So he can hide at the North Pole!_
What do you call Santa when he has no money?
_Saint "Nickel"-less!_
What smells most in a chimney?
_Santa's nose!_
What does Kris Kringle like to get when he goes to the donut shop?
_A jolly roll!_
What do you call someone who doesn't believe in Father Christmas?
_A rebel without a Claus!_
What is invisible but smells like milk and cookies?
_Kris Kringle burps!_
What did Santa get when he crossed a woodpecker with kleenex?
_Rapping paper!_
What does Santa like to have for breakfast?
_Mistle-"toast"!_
Why does Santa take presents to children around the world?
_Because the presents won't take themselves!_
What does Santa use when he goes fishing?
_His north pole!_
How do we know Santa is such a good race car driver?
_Because he's always in the pole position!_
What is twenty feet tall, has sharp teeth and goes Ho Ho Ho?
_Tyranno-santa Rex!_
What's red & white and red & white and red & white?
_Santa rolling down a hill!_
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he looked out the window?
_Looks like "rain", "Dear"!_
What's red and green and flies?
_An airsick Santa Claus!_
How does Père Noël take pictures?
_With his North "Pole"-aroid!_
Why does Santa's sleigh get such good mileage?
_Because it has long-distance runners on each side!_
What goes Ho, Ho, Swoosh! Ho, Ho, Swoosh?
_Santa caught in a revolving door!_
What kind of motorcycle does Santy ride?
_A "Holly" Davidson!_
Where does Father Christmas go to vote?
_The North Poll!_
What's red and white and falls down the chimney?
_Santa Klutz!_
What do you call Saint Nick after he has come down the chimney?
_Cinder Claus!_
What nationality is Santa Claus?
_North Polish!_
Why does Santa owe everything to the elves?
_Because he is an elf-made man!_
What goes oh, oh, oh?
_Santa Claus walking backwards!_
How many chimneys does Saint Nick go down?
_Stacks!_
What does Santa get if he gets stuck in a chimney?
_Claustrophobic!_
What would you call Father Christmas if he became a detective?
_Santa Clues!_
Who delivers Christmas presents to pets?
_Why, Santa Paws of course!_


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## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

These are so funny  Good thread ReachingHigher.


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## Reachinghigher (Jul 12, 2008)




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## Reachinghigher (Jul 12, 2008)




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## Reachinghigher (Jul 12, 2008)

*Christmas Jokes*


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