# I'm curious: Have you lied to your therapist?



## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

And/or have you kept important things hidden from them? 

I have never told any of my therapists past and present about being a rape victim even though my current therapist has been suspicious. It was something that happened many years ago so I feel that it would be pointless to report it. I never cried or got emotional over this, but it still affects me to this day. Because of that experience, it made it difficult to develop meaningful friendships and I end up pushing important people away for fear of getting sexually taken advantage of again. I shouldn't feel terrified of sharing this little tidbit with her, but a part of me is convinced that I could ruin certain relationships with people if I spilled all of this information.


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## slowlyimproving (Jan 2, 2014)

It's pointless for you to continue therapy unless you discuss everything. Otherwise, it's one big charade. Talking about it may give you important insight and coping mechanisms.


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## peace_love (Oct 24, 2008)

I agree with slowly improving. You should definitely tell your therapist! I haven't lied to mine before, but she could tell that I wasn't telling her everything. I am starting to open up a bit more little by little, because I know it will help me in the long run. See your therapist as a trusted friend. Someone anonymous like the people on here. You opened up to us, because you feel more comfortable. Allow yourself to feel with your therapist. Just remember, that is what you are there for. To heal. You can't do that without being honest. You can do it.


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## Idontgetit (Nov 1, 2013)

therapist: "How are you doing?"
me: “Stay in your lane"


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## HauntedByAFreak (May 20, 2015)

acidicwithpanic said:


> And/or have you kept important things hidden from them?
> 
> I have never told any of my therapists past and present about being a rape victim even though my current therapist has been suspicious. It was something that happened many years ago so I feel that it would be pointless to report it. I never cried or got emotional over this, but it still affects me to this day. Because of that experience, it made it difficult to develop meaningful friendships and I end up pushing important people away for fear of getting sexually taken advantage of again. I shouldn't feel terrified of sharing this little tidbit with her, but a part of me is convinced that I could ruin certain relationships with people if I spilled all of this information.


I'm in a pretty identical situation as this. I've never mentioned being raped to anyone as I don't think it would help. Also many of my therapists have asked questions about things in childhood that I'm not going to talk about. I don't feel that I'm lying. I just don't want to talk about it and my problems predate certain events so I know they're not the cause. If you're not comfortable talking about something in therapy then you shouldn't feel you have to but therapy is supposed to be a safe place to talk about everything that's bothering you and as you've said that the rape has caused you issues with forming new relationships than it might help to tell someone. You don't have to tell them everything thing all at once but maybe try telling her a little at a time.


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## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

slowlyimproving said:


> It's pointless for you to continue therapy unless you discuss everything. Otherwise, it's one big charade. Talking about it may give you important insight and coping mechanisms.


I never been to a therapist but i agree if you dont tell them every thing what is the point


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

At first I lied a lot, then I totally let loose. I'm very hesitate now because I'm afraid some of the things I say could get me committed/sectioned again and I refuse. You have to know your therapist I guess. They are some understandable ones and some who just wants you to give them a reason to lock you up.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Kevin001 said:


> At first I lied a lot, then I totally let loose. I'm very hesitate now because I'm afraid some of the things I say could get me committed/sectioned again and I refuse. You have to know your therapist I guess. They are some understandable ones and some who just wants you to give them a reason to lock you up.


I almost got hospitalized once and after that I started not to bother mentioning controversial things. Also I'm aware that they can get involved in cases of abuse and rape if they wanted to. And since this happened years ago, I see no point in having the authorities investigate this when all evidence has long been gone. For all I know, I could be accused of lying.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

^
They can do that against your will. Right? ö_ö

---

I've only been in therapy once, and I didn't share everything with her. In hindsight... I wasn't ready for therapy.

I saw a therapist a few times during spring(we weren't meant to see each other more than that), for something else, and I ended up telling him stuff I've only told my mom and my ex.

I think that therapy is pretty useless if you don't share your core issues.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

probably offline said:


> ^
> They can do that against your will. Right? ö_ö


Yes.

I know it's something I shouldn't hold in forever, but I don't want the authorities getting involved when it was something that happened long ago. But then again, I don't want anyone else getting assaulted by the same person...


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

acidicwithpanic said:


> I almost got hospitalized once and after that I started not to bother mentioning controversial things. Also I'm aware that they can get involved in cases of abuse and rape if they wanted to. And since this happened years ago, I see no point in having the authorities investigate this when all evidence has long been gone. For all I know, I could be accused of lying.


Yeah, it sucks. I want to be honest but I don't think they will understand and just force me to be hospitalized......sucks. I'm seeing a new therapist soon hopefully he is a understandable one.


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## a degree of freedom (Sep 28, 2011)

acidicwithpanic said:


> Yes.
> 
> I know it's something I shouldn't hold in forever, but I don't want the authorities getting involved when it was something that happened long ago. But then again, I don't want anyone else getting assaulted by the same person...


Check this out: Statute §90.5035

It looks like in Florida, you have to give written consent to your counselor for that kind of information to leave the room.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

senkora said:


> Check this out: Statute §90.5035
> 
> It looks like in Florida, you have to give written consent to your counselor for that kind of information to leave the room.


Interesting. I guess things have changed since after I stopped seeing my first therapist. Even then, I'm not fully comfortable talking about it unless she brings it up.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Idontgetit said:


> therapist: "How are you doing?"
> me: "Stay in your lane"


Basically.


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

would be no point to going if I lied. They are the one person I can tell the truth to and not be rejected for it.


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## SilkyJay (Jul 6, 2015)

That is a tricky situation. I think you should be safe to share that with your therapist, only when you want to of course. That's not something you want to hold in. I'm trying not to fib too much with my current therapist, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't guilty. I've already told her a few things off the bat though that were a little out in left field, but felt good to get off my chest.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Yajyklis10 said:


> That is a tricky situation. I think you should be safe to share that with your therapist, only when you want to of course. That's not something you want to hold in. I'm trying not to fib too much with my current therapist, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't guilty. I've already told her a few things off the bat though that were a little out in left field, but felt good to get off my chest.


Yeah I've already told a few friends about it, so logically I wouldn't see any problem in telling my therapist. I did finally tell her about my sexuality today which was something I wasn't comfortable discussing before. Hopefully, it was a step in the right direction.


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## sanspants08 (Oct 21, 2008)

mike91 said:


> I never been to a therapist but i agree if you dont tell them every thing what is the point


Agree for the most part, but there have been moments in therapy when I've slightly changed the wording of something told to me, to better reflect the emotional content of the message (and to process it without getting caught up in an explanation).

For ex: I got arrested for drug paraph. about a year and a month ago. One of my friends said, "I don't think I'm ever gonna talk to you again...drugs aren't cool with me." etc. etc. I quoted him to my therapist as saying, "The guy said he wants nothing to do with me because of the arrest."

Technically the words themselves are untrue, but the point is the same, and my words conveyed it more efficiently. I've only done that once or twice though.


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## Unkn0wn Pleasures (Nov 24, 2011)

Not really. I don't count "lying by omission." I did short, very structured cbt, in group setting. Not the one on one, pick apart your psyche, personality and childhood type of therapy. So it didn't make that much difference that I kept some relevant but shameful stuff to myself.


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## East (Jul 22, 2013)

i don't tell her i actively want to kill myself bc she just threatens me w/ hospitalization & getting hospitalized will be the cue for me to say bye lol

i don't discuss how i feel about my looks either bc all it's gonna be is "you're not ugly ((" x47208 nor do i mention my lack of relationships & friendships bc it makes me feel terrible & there's nothing anyone can do about it lmao


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## Morpheus (May 26, 2006)

I have lied to my therapist about things before. I said I didn't remember things which I actually did remember but the anxiety prevented me from talking about them.



acidicwithpanic said:


> I have never told any of my therapists past and present about being a rape victim even though my current therapist has been suspicious. It was something that happened many years ago so I feel that it would be pointless to report it.


That's not true, it might help your therapist understand your situation. And understanding you will help them help you.



> I shouldn't feel terrified of sharing this little tidbit with her, but a part of me is convinced that I could ruin certain relationships with people if I spilled all of this information.


I don't know how it would affect your relationship with other people, but it will not ruin your relationship with your therapist. Its their job to deal with information like that. You're probably not the first rape victim s/he has seen, either.



Kevin001 said:


> Yeah, it sucks. I want to be honest but I don't think they will understand and just force me to be hospitalized......sucks. I'm seeing a new therapist soon hopefully he is a understandable one.


In the U.S. they can only hospitalize you against your will if you are a minor or you are a danger to others. If you are a danger to others (or to yourself) you should voluntarily hospitalize yourself so you don't do something you regret.



East said:


> i don't discuss how i feel about my looks either bc all it's gonna be is "you're not ugly ((" x47208


Have you tried it? Maybe you're not actually ugly, maybe its all just in your head. Most of the people on this forum who think they are ugly aren't actually ugly. Especially the 18 year old girls, almost everyone is pretty at that age.



> nor do i mention my lack of relationships & friendships bc it makes me feel terrible & there's nothing anyone can do about it lmao


Not true. There are things _you_ can do about it.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Morpheus said:


> In the U.S. they can only hospitalize you against your will if you are a minor or you are a danger to others. If you are a danger to others (or to yourself) you should voluntarily hospitalize yourself so you don't do something you regret.


:no, not true. I got hospitalized for mainly self-harming (anxiety and depression also). I was no danger to anyone, my cuts were superficial also. I had to stay 8 days against my will. I thought the rule was 3 days max (involuntarily), the coroner decided otherwise. I live in Louisiana.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Yea. I don't admit the full extent of my loserness. I just say I'm a friendless loser and leave it at that.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

I lie a lot about having suicidal feelings because I know she will throw me in a psychiatric hospital. I've had enough of those, thanks.

I know how to talk myself down.


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## slyfox (Nov 18, 2007)

Was feeling really suicidal a few days ago. Probably shouldn't mention it to my therapist next week or at least downplay it. Aside from bathroom problems I'm not too scared of being hospitalized, but it would really screw things up. It would cause a lot of problems with my girlfriend because she can't drive and I handle paying the bills. Also there are a lot of problems in the house that need to be repaired soon. Not sure my therapist would understand, especially if I went into full details of how close I was feeling. But on the other hand I'm in the process of trying to get on disability so not telling everything could reduce my chances.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

East said:


> i don't tell her i actively want to kill myself bc she just threatens me w/ hospitalization & getting hospitalized will be the cue for me to say bye lol
> 
> i don't discuss how i feel about my looks either bc all it's gonna be is "you're not ugly ((" x47208 nor do i mention my lack of relationships & friendships bc it makes me feel terrible & there's nothing anyone can do about it lmao


My last psychiatrist threatened to hospitalize me because he thought I was going to harm myself when I have never engaged in self-harm of any kind. I dumped that guy after half a year of having to listen to his bs opinions after I would rant and complain about certain people. Like if I told him that my dad was slightly embarrassed about me having SA and depression, he would say **** like "he's just looking out for you" and sugarcoat it as much as possible. And this is the same guy who prescribed me that horrendous effexor that made me sick for weeks. Never again. -__- Better to dump your incompatible therapist than to have to continue putting up with them.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Morpheus said:


> In the U.S. they can only hospitalize you against your will if you are a minor or you are a danger to others. If you are a danger to others (or to yourself) you should voluntarily hospitalize yourself so you don't do something you regret.


No, my last psychiatrist almost hospitalized me because he thought that I was going to harm/kill myself. He told me I had no choice.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

TenYears said:


> I lie a lot about having suicidal feelings because I know she will throw me in a psychiatric hospital. I've had enough of those, thanks.
> 
> I know how to talk myself down.


Exactly. I've heard enough horror stories about staying in the hospital. There's no way I'm getting myself into that.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

slyfox said:


> Was feeling really suicidal a few days ago. Probably shouldn't mention it to my therapist next week or at least downplay it. Aside from bathroom problems I'm not too scared of being hospitalized, but it would really screw things up. It would cause a lot of problems with my girlfriend because she can't drive and I handle paying the bills. Also there are a lot of problems in the house that need to be repaired soon. Not sure my therapist would understand, especially if I went into full details of how close I was feeling. But on the other hand I'm in the process of trying to get on disability so not telling everything could reduce my chances.


Yeah, I'm afraid that with school starting again, getting hospitalized would just screw up my academic performance when I have no room for error this semester.


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## kivi (Dec 5, 2014)

No. I told some important things. I felt ashamed afterwards. I mostly tend to be quiet about things but if they sense and ask if there's something, I'll tell them honestly.


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