# Went to the barber's for first time in twenty years



## lastofthekews (May 11, 2009)

I finally managed to overcome one of my biggest fears - having my hair cut at the barbers 

I've not had a proper haircut for twenty years (since I was 11). My mum always cut it when I was younger, and as I got older I always shaved it myself. I've always been self-conscious about not having a proper haircut, but have never been able to build up the courage to get it done properly before now.

I was quite anxious, but it wasn't anywhere near as bad as I thought it would be. I went early when there wasn't many people in, but I was shaking like a leaf while waiting for my turn. The worst part was when the barber asked what I wanted, I didn't know what to ask for, so mumbled something about shorter on sides and back, a bit longer on top. He seemed fine though, and helped me out. I think it looks alright now, but i'm a bit worried that it might look silly (i'm not very good at deciding what looks good and what doesn't) and that people will laugh at me.

Apart from that it was fine. The barbers there don't engage in small talk, they just get on with cutting your hair, and when it came to paying I was worried about whether to give a tip as people i've spoken to here say that none of them give tips anymore, so I wasn't sure what to do in case I got it wrong. I think I did right by not tipping as the barber had more or less given me the change before I could finish handing over the money. I then quickly said my goodbyes and left.

I'm still quite nervous about going to the barbers, but now i've done it once, it shouldn't be as difficult next time.

I'm determined this weekend to get out and about, however anxious I get. I've managed to get my haircut, then this afternoon there's a music group playing in my city and i'm going to try and go to see them. I'll be on my own, which isn't ideal at all, but i've got to prove to myself I can do it. Tomorrow i'm thinking of joining my local library, then going clothes shopping. These are all things I find really hard to do, or avoid doing completely, but i'm determined that when I go to work on Monday that when people ask me what I did at the weekend i'll have something to tell them, rather than the usual "sat at home and watched dvds", which is what I usually do.


----------



## mia jane (Jun 17, 2009)

Thats so awesome! I know how nerve racking it can be, but you did it! I wish I had your motivation and drive to do all that. Good luck with the music thing & shopping. Keep us updated. Congrats again


----------



## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

That's really brave, lastofthekews. I too used to cut my own hair for years.

I hope you enjoy the music today.


----------



## Toad Licker (Nov 2, 2007)

That's a really big step you took... Congrats! :clap


----------



## lastofthekews (May 11, 2009)

*Update: went to the concert*

Thanks all 

I did go to the music concert and it was brilliant! 

It was at a racecourse, so there was three hours of horse racing first (I didn't bet, got stung by that a while back, so never again) That was quite relaxing.

Then the group came on about 6pm. I don't know if you've heard of them - Bad Manners (Buster Bloodvessel's group), a British Ska group. I've always loved ska, so it was great to see them live (although if I had more courage I could meet a lot of these groups as my older brother is a saxophonist who has played with a lot of these artists and personally knows them. I couldn't do that though, i'd just feel silly and clam up). And for one day in my life I managed to forget my anxiety. I was alone, so thought "what the hell!" and went right near the front and danced and sang along. Everyone else in the crowd was doing the same so it didn't feel silly for me to be doing it. Also, a woman spoke to me in the crowd at one point - the only problem being I couldn't hear her as the noise was deafening.

I'm really pleased that I managed to overcome my SA today. Getting my haircut and dancing at a gig are two of the things i've longed to do but never had the courage to do. Today I did both :boogie

I've currently got a loud ringing in my right ear (can't hear anything else) from being too near the speakers, but its reminding me that I made a massive step forward today. I just hope it wears away. Anyway, nothing could upset me today, for the first time in years i've got something to say when people at work ask what I did at the weekend


----------



## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

Wow, that deserves this, :boogie . Very impressive.

I've never heard of ska. Might check it out.


----------



## kos (May 19, 2009)

good to hear my brother. I descided to cut mine own hair the other day....bad idea lol. I'll be going to the barber's from now on.


----------



## Some Russian Guy (Mar 20, 2009)

that's great


----------



## Shining Phoenix (Jun 1, 2009)

Hopefully this is the beginning of something big . I'm very proud of you.


----------



## lastofthekews (May 11, 2009)

Thanks all for the congrats. I've felt really happy today, and am proud of myself for finally getting out there. I've just got to make sure I don't allow myself to go back into my shell, after such a good weekend.


----------



## cosmikdebris (Jul 6, 2009)

It's the craziest thing, but there was a period of about 3 years where i would not go to to get my haircut because i had this fear of talking to the stylist. Because of that i had a full mane that went down to my mid back. I finally got the courage to go get my haircut because i was sick of the long hair. So i went to mastercuts and got my hair cut by a cute girl who turned out to know me from junior high. She was a friend of a girl who i used to date back in junior high. I was struggling with keeping an interesting conversation with her but i guess i did alright because she gave me her number when i went to pay. 


I've gone many times since with no problems. Though i still get a bit anxious for some stupid reason.


----------



## idontliketoread (Jul 7, 2009)

good for you! i thought i was the only one in the world with this problem. omg. how cool lol. im new and just started browsing through this forum btw.


----------



## fridays child (Jun 4, 2009)

I can really hear the happiness jumping out of your words -- awesome


----------



## lastofthekews (May 11, 2009)

fridays child said:


> I can really hear the happiness jumping out of your words -- awesome


Thanks fridays child (I think your reply was for me. I've embarrassed myself if it wasn't :blush )

I'm going to go to another one-day music festival next Sunday. I'll be alone again (the only person I know to ask to go with me is my younger brother, but he also suffers from sa and doesn't feel able to go), and i'll be really nervous, but i'm determined to start doing things like this. Madness, The Pogues and The Fun Lovin' Criminals are all playing, so it should be really good.

I'm finding it easier to go out and do things lately, I just can't build up the courage to actually talk to people when i'm out. One step at a time though, i'm sure i'll get there eventually. I just wish I had people to go to these places with, it does make you feel so alone when you see so many people in groups enjoying themselves together.


----------

