# Does your family think you're lazy?



## DistraughtOwl (Mar 1, 2014)

I think mine do. The fact of the matter is that I'm simply terrified of the world and I'm crazy depressed in my current situation.. I have no life energy to really do anything. I just feel like laying in bed a lot of the time and even getting up to do simple tasks is so much work for me. 

I own up to being lazy when I am and I am not trying to excuse all of my trouble on anxiety and depression but I know that a large portion of my troubles do in fact come from anxiety and depression. I hate how family completely disregards these things. I want to drive, I want to get a job, I want to move out and stop mooching off of you but I'm terrified! 

My family expects me to get things so easily.. They've literally taught me nothing about being an adult and yet they expect me to start acting like one. They've prepared me for nothing. 

My father took me out driving one time and is now afraid to take me out again because I almost got hit by another car. Yet he's the one expecting me to understand everything in one day and having me drive out on the highway on my first day! Okay I'm venting sorry. What does your family think of you? Do they coddle you as much as mine do to me?


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Yeah. They just make it worse.


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## iCod (Feb 17, 2015)

Yeah, but I can't blame them. If I saw my kids sitting in front of the computer 24/7 I'd think the same thing...


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## something there (Feb 24, 2014)

LichtLune said:


> I think mine do. The fact of the matter is that I'm simply terrified of the world and I'm crazy depressed in my current situation.. I have no life energy to really do anything. I just feel like laying in bed a lot of the time and even getting up to do simple tasks is so much work for me.
> 
> I own up to being lazy when I am and I am not trying to excuse all of my trouble on anxiety and depression but I know that a large portion of my troubles do in fact come from anxiety and depression. I hate how family completely disregards these things. I want to drive, I want to get a job, I want to move out and stop mooching off of you but I'm terrified!
> 
> ...


I can relate pretty heavily to this. I distinctly recall that my mother was accused by my grandma of excessive coddling. Then there's this ridiculous expectation that I know how to do absolutely everything in life despite not one person telling me how to actually survive in this world. Now I'm frequently called "lazy" by my sister who has had several jobs and her own apartment and is about to start a real career while I can barely peel myself out of bed each morning and hack my way through a day where I feel no passion or drive in anything I do.

I have no idea what I want anymore. I like the idea of being independent with a job and whatnot, but that seems so completely unattainable to me. There's a lot of depression and anxiety and complete terror at the thought of it because I know that I will actually die if I'm thrown out into the world. Being 100% dependent on my parents to live is not what I want, but I feel so trapped where I am that I can see no other possibility. They're somewhat trying to help me these days, but it's futile. The therapy, the meds, the job interviews all end in failure. Nothing seems to work for me and I feel worse with each compounding failure since that sense of disappointing the only people that still care about me is unbearable. Not to mention I still resent them to some degree for other reasons, but when they're all you got, what else can you do?

In regards to my first time driving on the highway, my dad literally loaded up a car that I had driven once with close family members and put me on a highway under construction at 7pm. Thus, I am also terrified of driving on highways.


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## silla77 (Jan 19, 2015)

i know exactly how you feel. My mom says that I'm the most laziest person she knows and it kills me inside. It's not that I want to be lazy, I'm just so worried about what's around me and what people think. I have no motivation to do anything because of my depression and social anxiety. Even when I say "omg I'm so tired" my mom will reply "no, you're just lazy" and it drives me insane!!


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

Any possible negative traits, my mom will label me of having it.


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## Jammer25 (Feb 22, 2014)

I think my mom does, though she's never said it outright. Especially in terms of a job search and almost undermining what I'm trying to do with my home business. As if not applying for 50 jobs per day is lazy or something, because my business "will never go anywhere".



something there said:


> Then there's this ridiculous expectation that I know how to do absolutely everything in life despite not one person telling me how to actually survive in this world.


I can totally relate to this. I was so conflicted growing up - my parents would tell me to try this and that, only for them to step in and do things for me. (My mom especially.) How was I supposed to learn?

Even now with my own home business, my mom tries to tell me to do this or that. Like everything I do secretly needs her approval, even at my age. I'm sick of it, but by this point I've been conditioned to concede to it.

I'm convinced that a big factor in my situation is that my parents never let me fail if they could help it. Never let me try and learn from my mistakes. They still do it with my older brother who lives a state over in Arizona - they constantly try to force their advice on him.

I don't know if they like being in control, or if they just are stubborn with the concept that they think they know what's best for us.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Yea, but I play it off like I'm just lazy. I will not tell them about my anxiety. The stigma is too strong.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

Yeah they do. Well, pretty much everyone thinks I'm lazy, it's true though so why deny it.


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## zfairborn (Apr 13, 2015)

LichtLune said:


> I think mine do. The fact of the matter is that I'm simply terrified of the world and I'm crazy depressed in my current situation.. I have no life energy to really do anything. I just feel like laying in bed a lot of the time and even getting up to do simple tasks is so much work for me.
> 
> I own up to being lazy when I am and I am not trying to excuse all of my trouble on anxiety and depression but I know that a large portion of my troubles do in fact come from anxiety and depression. I hate how family completely disregards these things. I want to drive, I want to get a job, I want to move out and stop mooching off of you but I'm terrified!


My father is in a similar view. He claims that I want to get things done on the first try, failing to see that his reaction for me failing to meet the high standards he sets is very detremental.

For example, I told him two days ago I'd lost a kilo (working on weight loss). His responce was "great.... but you know if you really put in more effort, you'd loose more". It was words that did not need to be said, and making them the last thing he said just turned the complement into a criticism.

I also suffer from a lack of energy. Depression is very draining, and its hard to take simple actions (I've been known to be hit soo bad I'm too lazy to reach out an arms's length to hit the lightswitch to try and sleep easier).

However it can be broken.

While you're laying in bed, thinking about what you could do, take a moment to decide you're going to get serious. That you are going to do something. Be strong and tell yourself "its easy and I can do this, and it will be a breeze". Then count to 10, thinking with each number you are going to do activity X when you hit 0. Then when you hit 0, get up with passion and make the activity a task to be completed! Don't worry if you think its silly. In those situations the ends will justify the means. As long as the goal is achieved, it doesn't matter how others do it.

As to your other skills needed for adult hood, take the time to consider what they are. Do you need to drive? Watch some driving tutorials online and do research. Imagine the car, or even look at it from the driver's side window (you could even sit in the driver's seat - but to start just keep it small and be an observer, studying from the safe distance without committing to anything).

Do you need to learn to cook? Again, do the reasearch yourself. Use those moments of laziness to think about what do you want to learn, and then push yourself to choose ONLY one of the things. Then get up and learn it. Every little lesson you give each day will be another you add to your arsenal of skills in the long run.


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## Conviction07 (Aug 23, 2013)

Being lazy is forever a perception my family will have of me. Can't blame them though.


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## Fangirl96 (Apr 13, 2015)

Yupp, same here. My mum is always complaining that i have to tidy here and there and spend less time with my computer. Maybe i am lazy, idk. But i just can't do anything. Why would i ever leave my laptop, aka the source of my happiness and the only thing in the world that helps me forget my sad and pathetic life? I just can't.


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## Mxx1 (Feb 3, 2015)

Yes, but i am extremely lazy so it's not like they have a wrong view of me.


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## Steinerz (Jul 15, 2013)

Idk, probably. I think I'm lazy too.


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## Barakiel (Oct 31, 2013)

LichtLune said:


> My family expects me to get things so easily.. They've literally taught me nothing about being an adult and yet they expect me to start acting like one. They've prepared me for nothing.


This is exactly how my parents act too, even after they admitted I should have gotten help much earlier. :?



bad baby said:


> Teenagers, if you are reading this!! Pound down your parents' doors until they get you to the professional help you need! You don't have to suffer through this all on your own. Nip this demon in the bud early on; it just gets harder and harder the longer you wait..


Great advice, that's what I wish I did a few years ago.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

They think I'm lazy, but in reality I'm just a stupid low functioning human crippled with anxiety. I play it off as being lazy though, because I rather be seen as a leech than a crybaby with a mental disorder.


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

Sometimes. My dad is one of those workaholic dads so he expects the same from me. Like it really is his worst fear to have a lazy daughter.


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## Paperback Writer (Feb 7, 2015)

I imagine that a lot of mine do, but thankfully the only ones that are vocal about it live on the other side of the country so I rarely have to put up with them.


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## Morticia Adams (Aug 31, 2015)

Yes because I went to school, have been the most dutiful child a parent could ever want. Never got into trouble, came to home on time and never been a problem child. Helped take cared of my disabled brother and yet still can't find a job and live with my parents. Not a good feeling when parents think that you are a bum, found some jobs but never guranteed a real salary so quit cause it was not worth it and exploited work laws. Even though they will never admit it, they do think I am leeching off of them and a piece of crap because I said some things I will do never came through cause of rejection or things did not work as plan. 

Feeling massive pressure on myself cause I fear my parents will lash out and tell me to leave their household.Want to go back to school and go back to doing something productive. 

My mom keeps telling me we let you live here rent free and uses emotional blackmail, if I had a child I would never use emotional blackmail over them. Family is family and if I know my child is not doing anything wrong and doing the right thing he can stay in my household as long as he/she wishes as long as they stay out of trouble and help around the house. 

My mom does not understand the pressure of finding jobs cause she has been employed for over 20 years, times are tougher then her generation and I can't stand how she lashes her mouth at me yet she has never been involved with my career soul searching.


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