# How do you react when someone snaps at you?



## pati (Aug 15, 2012)

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## MrQuiet76 (Aug 26, 2011)

I'm the exact same way... anytime someone flips out on me or is even just kind of rude or ignorant towards me, it really really makes me upset towards them. Like you said, sometimes it makes me just not want to see them again even if it's a really good friend. The thing is that I put sooooo much effort into always trying to be nice and polite to everyone even if they've wronged me or such in the past, so then when another person doesn't do that toward me I just can't understand it and it frustrates me... I definitely overreact though when that happens. I don't know if it's an SA thing or if I too am possibly just way too sensitive


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## whattothink (Jun 2, 2005)

I'll usually ignore a subtle insult or sleight if I can get away with it. The idea of asserting myself unless absolutely necessary terrifies me. However, if someone blatantly attacks me my primal aggression supersedes and I'll usually call them out on it.


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## BeaT (Sep 23, 2011)

When I was a elementary and middle school, I would punch them in the face. Now I go home and cry about it and feel worthless. At the time it happens, I pretend it doesn't bother me. Apathy is my shield in situations like this. I'll just shrug and be like "yeah, so?" But with abysmally low self esteem, I take anything negative to heart and it reinforces all the horrible things I think about myself.

As for the person it's coming from, I may try and avoid them for the rest of my life. If I can. If it's somebody I was friends with tho, I would basically ignore it and try to pretend it never happened.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

missamanda said:


> Whenever someone around me loses their temper or patience with me, I don't handle it too well. Basically, anytime someone snaps at me, it makes me instantly never want to see them again. Even if it's someone I've known for years. And even if things go on as normal, I always think about that incident. I think it upsets me so much because I'm someone who never, ever does that to people. But if someone does it to me, I feel like crying. Do you think it's related to SA? Or am I just sensitive?


Depends, if I'm looking for a fight I will antagonize them.........If I'm not looking to tangle I just leave. In your case we react to things differently, I wouldn't call you "sensitive" though.


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## enfield (Sep 4, 2010)

if they apologize and they mean it then i would feel like i forgave them. i can't remember of many instances of people snapping at me (friends or teachers) but i would basically not respond i think. it's scary and unwelcome so i would be stunned with the feeling of is this really happening. eventually things would return to normal and i would put it aside.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

It takes me awhile to get over it as well, but in a way that fear has helped in in that I make sure I do the best job i possibly can with a task I have been given to ensure I keep on peoples good side. Unfortunately this leads to "doormat" syndrome which is actually worse. But yeah, confrontation and I do not go well together at all.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

It makes me cry. Almost every single time. I get this a LOT from my parents (they're short-tempered types...I take after them), so I'm used to forgiving people for doing it, but still, it puts me in a sore mood for the rest of the day, and I almost always end up in tears. I usually want to leave the room and be alone.

I hate, hate, *hate* being snapped at. Even online. ;_; According to everyone who's ever snapped at me, I'm "too sensitive."

This is one big, big reason behind my fear of reading/replying to messages...I *ALWAYS* expect the other person to be snapping at me, even if I've given them no reason to and they've never done so before. But it's actually happened enough times, including some times when I didn't expect it, that I'm afraid of it every time now. :afr

Somebody snaps at me even online, it leaves me shaking and crying, it makes me feel so awful. ;_;

So...yes, there you go, anybody reading this. This is why reading/replying to messages scares me so much.


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## bracelets91 (Nov 27, 2012)

I start to feel a little aggressive, but do nothing. I know if I try, I'm gonna end up losing since I'm not very good at coming up with comebacks or sticking up for myself. :sigh It's like elementary school all over again. And yeah, I do end up thinking about it for months or sometimes even years later. I'll hold a slight grudge towards the person also.


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## FeistyHeisty (Nov 7, 2011)

If someone snaps at me, I become very quiet and let the person go on a tantrum unless they ask me something. After that, I would not want to speak to them for the whole day or so, but after that I will be able to forgive. I am not one to hold grudges.


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## a degree of freedom (Sep 28, 2011)

I'd be pretty shocked, and slightly validated. I feel like I'm the only one who ever snaps at people.  Someone snapping at me would be like they cared or something, or at least for once I'd have to deal with an issue that wasn't 100% my fault.


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## Wurli (Sep 15, 2012)

When people snap at me I freak out. I hate, more than anything, hearing that someone is unhappy with me or something that I did. 

I think there is a pretty strong correlation between SA and your reaction in such a situation. I'd imagine that for most, if not all of us, there is a bit of a subconscious mechanism within us that makes us all "people-pleasers". We're so caught up with how others perceive us that we make every effort to not make a bad impression. When someone snaps at you, it destroys everything. 

I'm just hypothesizing of course.


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## Gary (Oct 19, 2008)

It certainly can turn things really awkward, usually what happens with me is that I get really distant from this person, usually after a while we can get back to normal unless this person is genuinely mad at me.


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## kuhan1923 (Oct 28, 2012)

I'd be quiet, and probably wonder what i did to upset or make them angry. If it was my fault i would apologize, but if i think i did nothing wrong then i would just be quiet and let things calm down. 

Depending on the situation i may talk back though also.


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

people dont usually snap at me... im a fairly likable in person...


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## Sententia (Dec 24, 2012)

I used to just start crying... It made standing up for myself pretty difficult. But that hasn't happened for a while so maybe I've gotten better! (except around my father, he can still make me cry way too easily) I also would never do that to anyone, I'm actually more and more quiet the more upset/angry I get, and I think it's only fair that no one yells at me either. Eveyone should be non-obnoxious and considerate, the world would be so much better then!


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## Alwaysanxiousgirl (Aug 29, 2012)

Well, I'm naturally a very sensitive person so I tear up. 

I remember once in 11th grade my math teacher snapped and yelled at me in front of the entire class and called me incompetent all because I didn't have a ruler. It was embarrassing, to say the least. And I had already been having a cruddy day, but I was very depressed and sad for the rest of the day. Plus it was awkward going back to class the next day.


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## Melodies0fLife (Sep 17, 2012)

I cry and think I've done someone a horrible wrong. Growing up, my parents were often stressed and if I do one little thing wrong, they would yell and snap at me. I was always walking on eggshells whenever I was around them so I guess it transferred into my daily life as an adult.

Eta: Now, I just lose respect for them; turn my smile upside down and walk away. I don't need to be with someone who can't control their frustrations.


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## alta (Jun 7, 2011)

tehuti88 said:


> This is one big, big reason behind my fear of reading/replying to messages...I *ALWAYS* expect the other person to be snapping at me, even if I've given them no reason to and they've never done so before. But it's actually happened enough times, including some times when I didn't expect it, that I'm afraid of it every time now. :afr


Crap me too, I still haven't even checked my introduction post here, and there's sadly a chance I won't come back and check this thread neither-I've also let my YouTube comments/replies sit (instead of reading them everyday like usual-and find out they're compliments, or the "negative" comments are just your average net troll)

RECENT EXAMPLE:I forgot about a Fiverr order and it went LATE for my first time ever, I apologized like crazy and they sent me a message back but..I'm too damn scared to check it.

Then AGAIN when I was supposed to make an important phonecall but overslept instead of doing it-scolded by my Uncle and felt guilty all day and night.

And still have uncomfortable memories of being yelled at by teachers in college three years ago (worst one was when I accidentally missed being assigned to a group) and I mean TOP of his lungs yelled at me, quite the disturbing and belittling experience-even though it was literally resolved the same day...(and honestly I didn't notice I was even assigned to one with how he just pointed around the room and said "You, you you." instead of role-calling). Why is it all these years later I think about the yelling instead of the good note I ENDED on?

But yeah I hate it (even in MMOs, forums, and chatrooms). I get over it easily sometimes (and it doesn't feel as bad when it's a group-i.e. I've had my share of the "angry yelling director" at theaters by now) but lately I've had a good run on not pissing people off-unfortunately given human nature it's probably around the corner again. I'm also worried not taking to it so well someday is going to spell the end of my career pursuits.

Funny for how nice and quiet I am that I'm still on the receiving end regardless (though I'll admit to snapping to someone annoying me on the phone once-I felt horrible and ashamed that I did such a thing.)


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

alta said:


> Crap me too, I still haven't even checked my introduction post here, and there's sadly a chance I won't come back and check this thread neither-I've also let my YouTube comments/replies sit (instead of reading them everyday like usual-and find out they're compliments, or the "negative" comments are just your average net troll)


Oh my, I find this sadly amusing, because the main reason I never even bothered with an introductory post (or with starting many threads at all, for that matter) was because I knew I'd be too scared to ever go back and check it again! :lol

I used to keep on top of it, but lately I can't count how many user reviews I've let slide on past Amazon and eBay orders...poor sellers. And cripes, that doesn't even involve any actual interaction! ;_; And I freak out every time I get a comment on my writing...ugh!

So if you manage to come back and read this, you're definitely not the only one. :teeth


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## TryingMara (Mar 25, 2012)

I snap back. I can't deal with people being snarky or snippy when I don't provoke them. There are times that maybe it would be best to let it go, but I feel compelled to defend myself.


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## Unkn0wn Pleasures (Nov 24, 2011)

It makes me feel like crying and occasionally (depending on situation/person) a little angry. But I just appear blank as ever.


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## Implicate (Feb 1, 2011)

For such an anxious being, I am fairly aggressive when provoked. If my words are not enough, I am happy to resort to being physical. There are occasions where I find it unnecessary to reply to the provoking person and just laugh, which pisses them off more than any beating or amount of words I could dole out. I'm pretty adept at pressing buttons too. When it comes to work, which is where these things tend to happen, I am passive aggressive, and well versed in my employee rights, which I make very clear to the offender.


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## Whatev (Feb 6, 2012)

Depends on my mood I try my best to ignore it and not let them phase me but if they keep going long enough I get into Hulk mode and its over for them.


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## Tamalove95 (Apr 20, 2013)

Social Anxiety for sure~!!! 
I get like this all the time if people snap at me. I have gotten better at trying to talk about things through, still an anxiety killer!


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

I put my tail between my legs and get all flustered.


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## TheTraveler (Jan 31, 2013)

Depends who it is. But one they snap at me I will either crawl back into my head and shut down or Ill bark back even louder.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Depends on who. With my sister, I will often just ignore her. With my exes I would snap back at them and then >>> fight.


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## DarrellLicht (Mar 9, 2013)

I don't really respond negatively like other people would. 

My dad is a loud talker, and he blows his top often. After a while I understood just because he would lose his sh*t, it doesn't really mean he dislikes you. 

I gotta say, that helped a lot in job situations.


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## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

I probably am gonna cry if someone snaps at me. It pisses me off, so I wish I could react with anger back, but I guess I just don't have it in me to stand up for myself as disappointing as that is. 

**** people that snap at me. I rarely if ever do anything deserving of such treatment. All I do is try to live my life unnoticed. WTF did I ever do to anyone?!


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## Ventura Highway (Apr 23, 2013)

Depends on the situation. But the outcome on all, is normally self isolation from the snap.


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## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

I get pissed off and snap right back at them.


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## Secretly Pretentious (Dec 18, 2011)

Wurli said:


> When people snap at me I freak out. I hate, more than anything, hearing that someone is unhappy with me or something that I did.
> 
> I think there is a pretty strong correlation between SA and your reaction in such a situation. I'd imagine that for most, if not all of us, there is a bit of a subconscious mechanism within us that makes us all "people-pleasers". We're so caught up with how others perceive us that we make every effort to not make a bad impression. When someone snaps at you, it destroys everything.
> 
> I'm just hypothesizing of course.


Sounds like a convincing theory to me. At least in my case. When somebody snaps at me, I feel and act like a dog that's been kicked for failing to please her owners. I feel so much shame I can barely function and it takes a huge effort not to cry.


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## Lelii046 (Apr 15, 2013)

I cry, because I'm probably the most sensitive person I know. Just the littlest of insults can make me cry or get upset, even if i know the person is joking. Although, most people besides my parents never snap at me in person because they know how I am. Pretty much every time I ever get snapped at or into an argument its online or through a letter. :roll


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## tristatejosh (Mar 10, 2013)

It brings negative thoughts, I hate myself, hurts the self-esteem, etc. I just feel like a total mess-up.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I cry too. Often I cry and get angry at the same time.


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## ~Jessie~ (Jan 22, 2007)

Depends on who it is but I generally shut down in my mind and allow them to just keep going so they get it out of their system. I will simmer over what just took place for the rest of the day, tears may follow and not want to talk much out of fear for losing it myself haha

Mind you, if I know it wasn't my fault then I will let the person rant and talk to them with kindness afterwards.


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## TheOtherChosenOne (Apr 6, 2013)

It's not hard to make me feel bad. If someone's giving me crap about something, chances are I've already beat myself up over it and saved them the trouble. 
I think I'm a bit emotionally fragile. I know it's gotten worse in recent months due to certain circumstances.


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## crimewave (Mar 5, 2013)

I snap back at them. not sure if that's a good thing or not.


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## Andrew4 (Sep 23, 2012)

missamanda said:


> Whenever someone around me loses their temper or patience with me, I don't handle it too well. Basically, anytime someone snaps at me, it makes me instantly never want to see them again. Even if it's someone I've known for years. And even if things go on as normal, I always think about that incident. I think it upsets me so much because I'm someone who never, ever does that to people. But if someone does it to me, I feel like crying. Do you think it's related to SA? Or am I just sensitive?


So when I'm pushing you to get your *** up that mountain and I snap at you to get it in gear you're never going to like me again and will start crying?

Hmmmmm. I'll have to be extra gentle then.:b


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## Astrofreak6 (Mar 30, 2013)

This one time a friend of mine was drunk and was really hurtfull towards me... She was a lot older than me at the time (she was 25 I was 19). Basically she just yelled at me saying she was more awesome because she had more friends than me and insulted me in every way possible.. She didn't even know i had sa but i found that insult to be really unfair and high-schoolish for her age.. I couldn't hold the anger and slapped her in the face.. I know i shouldn't have done that, but i can't say i regret doing it she was really mean!


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## BlazingLazer (Jul 16, 2011)

I shut down and start to feel defective.


Ideally though, I would snap back two fold on them so they thought twice about it next time, even if they were angry. Sorry, but I'm sick of being a target.


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## pati (Aug 15, 2012)

Andrew4 said:


> So when I'm pushing you to get your *** up that mountain and I snap at you to get it in gear you're never going to like me again and will start crying?
> 
> Hmmmmm. I'll have to be extra gentle then.:b


Most def! I'm a delicate flower.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

If there's no one else around, I'll just say 'whatever' and move on. If there are fertile females in the vicinity, I will beat my chest and initiate the defensive display in order to defeat the intruding male.


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## sas111 (Oct 20, 2010)

Depends, but uncontrollably I get turned on and uncomfortably horny when someone yells at me or uses aggression, mostly when it comes from a girl, happens a lot, espec in the past. This is normal I assume.


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## swampchild (Apr 23, 2013)

I'm the very same way, Amanda. I think it could be a self-defense mechanism, our reactions... (this part I am assuming based on my inner reaction to snapping)... someone snapping at us makes us feel belittled, uncared for, and mistreated, and to avoid feeling that way again, we feel like we have to avoid them.

For me, when someone snaps at me I take it that they are annoyed by me and don't want to be around me, so me avoiding them is more like... I don't want them to not like me even more.

Sometimes when this happens, it can be best to take a break from each other. If this is someone you see every day, maybe skip a day and take time for yourself. I know I can get snippy with people I see TOO OFTEN. But don't let it discourage you from a friendship... everyone has their bad days. Usually, I ask if something is wrong and if they want to talk about it.


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

I just avoid the person as much as and for as long as possible. Even if I'm not involved, my anxiety goes through the roof if I hear people arguing.


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## Ardi (Sep 20, 2012)

Snap RIGHT back at them.


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## CoastalSprite (Sep 8, 2011)

I wouldn't react- just do whatever it is they want me to do, so they'll be placated. I'd like to think belittling/bullying like this was unacceptable though, and would be socially self-policed.

Two examples I've observed is when my brother came by to my workplace, and was rude and snappy to me (jokingly, I knew). His friends didn't know I was his sister though, and he told me they berated him once they left. I was really surprised that something so small would matter to people who didn't even know me.

Another is when a classmate snapped at my friend, rudely, during a class discussion. Afterwards, my other friend turned to me and said, "I don't like the way Stephanie spoke to V." 

So yeah, definitely not a matter of being oversensitive.. it looks like it is considered rude.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

kuhan1923 said:


> I'd be quiet, and probably wonder what i did to upset or make them angry. If it was my fault i would apologize, but if i think i did nothing wrong then i would just be quiet and let things calm down.
> 
> Depending on the situation i may talk back though also.


Same, it depends on the person, really.


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## Heyyou (May 1, 2013)

At first my feelings are hurt, really hurt but then my pride comes in and I set everything back right, I can be vicious when angry .


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## berlingot (Nov 2, 2005)

great, now this thread is bringing up memories of loved ones snapping at me. 
& i wish i responded, "okay, so i wrote the wrong address! don't have a crap attack." :um


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## NiteOwl (Jun 1, 2013)

If its someone I don't know I panic. If its someone I do know it depends on the situation, but it's usually more of a "Well F*** YOU TOO!" sort of feeling. Though I can't say that I've ever actually said it I think it really forcefully!


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## inerameia (Jan 26, 2012)

I usually stay quiet and take it then cry, but sometimes I go off the deep end instead or I just laugh. Depends mostly on who it is that's snapping at me though.


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## Miyu (Mar 10, 2013)

uh, however immature that might sound ... I instantly become really emotional. very often even start to cry. it's like a switch. I don't know, how to deal with it. at all.


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## zomgz (Aug 17, 2009)

It depends. If I can tell they're not upset at me, but actually upset about a lot of things going on in their life, then I would just try to comfort them.


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## L E V I (Mar 26, 2013)

If someone snaps at me I usually find it amusing and just laugh.


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## ShineGreymon (May 30, 2013)

I get upset no matter no minor they snap at me.


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## cooperativeCreature (Sep 6, 2010)

You flinch.


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## SVIIC (Apr 15, 2005)

I do have a certain... "sensitivity" or... tendency toward what I think is called "black and white thinking". I personally put it down to OCD, or a lot of it at least. Obsessing over things that don't really matter but you can't stop thinking about, worrying excessively, and being afraid that you hate or want to hurt someone are common things with OCD so I think it fits as one possible cause for me.

i.e. When someone does something I don't like, there's a tendency for my mind to feel like flipping all the way over to hating them intensely. I don't know exactly why... and I suppose that's probably a natural problem for most people to some extent (survival mechanism maybe), at least soon after the "incident", but I think part of it may even be that I'm afraid I hate them and as a result I start wondering if I hate them etc.


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## BigBlueMoon (Feb 7, 2013)

Needless to say, it puts me in an incredibly bad mood. When people snap at me, I have a tendency to get very defensive and in some cases, very confrontational. I've dealt with bullying for far too long and have never done anything to assert myself in those cases, so I've grown to have little tolerance for any kind of bullsh!t that people give me.


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## purplebutterfly (Apr 24, 2013)

I turn in to kanye west


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## extremly (Oct 25, 2012)

purplebutterfly said:


> I turn in to kanye west


B0SS lol

As for me: It depends. I'm horrible at reading cues as to what is "a person kidding" and what is meant to offend me "hurt me". For the most part I smile or say something back. But if is a person raging on me for no reason I tend to shift to a "scrap or die" mentality.


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## BlazingLazer (Jul 16, 2011)

extremly said:


> As for me: It depends. I'm horrible at reading cues as to what is "a person kidding" and what is meant to offend me "hurt me".


I've had this problem almost all my life. Whether or not it had anything to do with my shyness, sensitivity, or isolation that I had, magnified when I was a younger kid (I still have these three things now, but not quite as bad), it certainly put a strain on interacting with people.

But I can't help but think that these people that "joke around" really mean what they say, and that they're just inflecting it to come off as a joke, so that if you were to cry foul or call them out on whatever rude behavior they're trying to get away with, that _you're_ (not you, personally) the one who is in the wrong (the "bad guy", for "taking things too seriously/personally", even if/when it was meant personally).



> But if is a person raging on me for no reason I tend to shift to a "scrap or die" mentality.


Or shut down. Unless shut down falls under your "die" part. If I'm reading correctly on what you're saying, I act/react the same kinda way when challenged like that.


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## Arya481 (Dec 5, 2012)

BlazingLazer said:


> I've had this problem almost all my life. Whether or not it had anything to do with my shyness, sensitivity, or isolation that I had, magnified when I was a younger kid (I still have these three things now, but not quite as bad), it certainly put a strain on interacting with people.
> 
> But I can't help but think that these people that "joke around" really mean what they say, and that they're just inflecting it to come off as a joke, so that if you were to cry foul or call them out on whatever rude behavior they're trying to get away with, that _you're_ (not you, personally) the one who is in the wrong (the "bad guy", for "taking things too seriously/personally", even if/when it was meant personally).


I have this problem all of my life too, just that now I have mastered not crying in public when this happens. I will become quiet and leave that place as fast as possible. I guess being isolated for a long time when I was a kid made me unable to express myself well which led me hard to deal with these kind of situations.

Yeah, I feel the same way too. I usually let those jokes slide. Sometimes they got nasty which led me to angrily question their actions, then they'll say that I'm sensitive and a spoilsport. Well, I didn't care because after that they stopped.


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## LittleEarthquakes (Jan 13, 2013)

I snap back. And I no longer like that person.


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## TailsAlone (Apr 26, 2013)

I hate it when people snap at me. I will immediately stop talking to them and stay away from them, for days afterward if possible. Sometimes it even changes my opinion on whether I can trust them and such.


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## BlazingLazer (Jul 16, 2011)

Eunice27 said:


> I have this problem all of my life too, just that now I have mastered not crying in public when this happens. I will become quiet and leave that place as fast as possible. I guess being isolated for a long time when I was a kid made me unable to express myself well which led me hard to deal with these kind of situations.
> 
> Yeah, I feel the same way too. I usually let those jokes slide. Sometimes they got nasty which led me to angrily question their actions, then they'll say that I'm sensitive and a spoilsport. Well, I didn't care because after that they stopped.


Yeah, it's like being in some sort of trap you can't really get out of. Being in the position we describe is pretty much lose/lose. It's even harder to deal with when it's with people we know and/or friends with or related to. Oh, how to cope, how to cope...

That must've been some really rough stuff you had to endure if it made you cry in public. Sometimes, there is stuff that happens to us that makes feel so bad, that you almost can't believe it's happening to you. When that happens to me, it takes quite a while to get through to my head that this is really happening, and not some nightmare that I will soon wake up from.


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## allthatsparkles (Mar 1, 2013)

It really depends on the situation and the person. But in general I try to defuse the situation and if I haven't done anything wrong, I don't take it personally.


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## Astar (May 23, 2013)

It depends on the situation and who it is. if it's family i easily snap back. If it's someone i don't know well or an authority figure i usually remain quiet and after the person has gone think of all the things I should have said to them at the time. I get so angry when snapped at, especially when done in front of other people.

Someone snapped at me this weekend in public and I was mostly quiet as they were lecturing me. I kept dwelling on how rudely I was spoken to after the person left. I just could not let it go. This person was someone I did not know, a large man that I would normally find intimidating. I later went to find the guy and gave him a peace of my mind. He probably thought i was a crazy woman but I don't care. I'm sick of some people speaking to me like I'm a child. Not taking it any more! The incident still makes me mad when I think about it. Trying to let it go.


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## KlLLERtofu (May 5, 2013)

I immediately want to start crying. I have to bite my lip to stop my lip from turning down and starting an ugly cry lol It's awful. I have been like that since I was a kid. If I got yelled at in class I would put my head down and cry. And I was a good student, pretty quiet. So any kind of discipline in school would upset me, parents yelling at me, I would cry and as an adult if I get yelled at I can excuse myself and I go cry. It is freaking ridiculous. I do think it is SA related. No way this is normal. I thought I was the only one who did this until you mentioned it. I would always tell people I am just sensitive... but maybe that's not it at all.


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## lyssado707 (Oct 29, 2004)

I just get all shocked and say "sorry." I'll want to get away from them and then start avoiding them and cut contact. Then I won't be able to forget about it forever. It'll totally mess me up mentally for days, maybe weeks or months. It really sucks being hypersensitive.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

When in doubt, rage, flip the table, and gtfo.
At least in my head that is...


Nah usually I'll just apologize even if I'm clearly not at fault, then I'll try to either walk away, make amends, ask how I can improve, etc. This is rare though, only my immediate family seems to snap at me or disgruntled random customers I give no ****s about.


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## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

It makes me not want to talk to them too. I am not very forgiving about it either. It particularly bothers me if someone comes to me for help, then snaps at me for the advice I give, or some similar scenario where they came to me to talk.


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## Dat Gyul (Jul 6, 2012)

I clam up and go off by myself to ruminate over the situation. I can spend all day trying to figure out why it happened.


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## pocketdreams (Jun 5, 2013)

BeaT said:


> *I take anything negative to heart and it reinforces all the horrible things I think about myself.


I do this even when people are joking, I make myself believe they wouldn't have said it if it wasn't true.
If the person snapping at me is someone I know it crushes me and I beat myself up for disappointing them even if I didn't do anything (i still made them mad somehow)
If it is a stranger it depends on the situation if it makes me angry or feel bad. I won't do anything about it either way.


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## Glass Child (Feb 28, 2013)

I get really tense. But most of the time when I get tense I just start chuckling or laughing about it, to make myself feel like it's all a joke.

If I'm in an argument though and someone snaps, I usually try to back off and come back to it later with my own language. Heated verbal fighting can really ruin relationships with others, and people will feel better after they're a bit more calm.


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## NJada (May 30, 2013)

The OP's (and it looks like a lot of other people's) description was surprisingly familiar. This happened to me recently. My best friend snapped at me and I took it very badly. I still think her reaction was unnecessary because it was just over a mistake that I took a little bit too long to notice (which didn't really affect her), but it shouldn't have been a big deal at all to me. It's ridiculous that I didn't want to talk to her for so long (and am still kind of just getting back to normal) because she's probably been the nicest person I've ever met and I have every reason to appreciate her. I'm just trying to tell myself how I ought to feel about it rather than how I do feel.


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## vanishingpt (Mar 9, 2012)

For most situations I stay relatively calm. I don't really like conflicts so I try to diffuse the emotion so that things don't get out of control. Besides when people get really angry, their thoughts are jaded and clouded so they might say or do things they really regret. But maybe if they really are having a bad day or something, I'll tell them they can rant or vent to me if they want. Sometimes people just need someone to listen to their problems.

Though if someone does take digs at me, I do remember. It's not the greatest feeling in the world obviously but things like that just doesn't make me view a person so positively anymore and it makes me want to be around them less.


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## ZookaWhite (Jan 13, 2018)

I find that people snap at me for no reason. I have ASD and sometimes I suffer from involuntary tics, verbal and physical. Today, I had somebody snap at me because I involuntarily made a roaring noise near her. I apologized to her, but she continued to berate me. Shouting triggers anxiety attacks and this caused a severe panic attack, I had to be escorted out of class. This caused absolute terror in me, I was shaking and sweating. I felt nauseated. My heart raced. What's worse is that I tried making amends, but she didn't want to know. 
I feel absolutely silly because I caused the situation because my tics! Thing is, I get people snap at me all the time because of things I cannot control, like my tics. So, when somebody snaps at me, it causes me to have a panic attack and I end up in a foul mood afterwards.


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## Shy extrovert (Dec 6, 2017)

I snap at them back. If i feel they had no reason to do it i mean. I get all defensive and childish and it makes them think im immature. Im trying not to do that but it makes me so mad if im being nice and understanding to them and they cant do the same. This usually happens either when im talking too much and getting distracted, or god forbid engage in controversial topics with someone i disagree with even though i always respect their points of view


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## Lostbeauties (Nov 15, 2017)

I can be really vulnerable to that kinda thing so if someone snaps at me (it's my mom most of the time though) I just stand there and take it, but inside I'm dying, I just wanna run away and hide somewhere. I could start crying too if it gets heated and I feel even more trapped and vulnerable in the situation. Crying for me is a big way to relieve myself from any stress or anxiety I may be feeling, so I find myself doing that sometimes as well.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Just love them back...there is so much rage and angry in this world and I just want to be different/not apart of it. Someone snaps at me and I just smile .


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

It always depends on who does the snapping. Is it a puppy or a big dog? Puppies don't bother me much. I'll laugh it off. Big dogs can be annoying since they always want to take it further.


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## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

I tend to get anxious.


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## thinkstoomuch103 (Nov 28, 2017)

I will look at them calmly, or walk away.

If they apologize? I will accept it, but i will also tell them, that i will not be disrespected like that again.

If they don't apologize? And if i think they are worth it? I will sit down and have a chat with them, regarding their behavior.

If they don't apologize - and i don't think they're worth it? We won't be talking after that, unless it's on a professional manner. And it's usually, quite obvious to that person, that i will not tolerate that kind of behavior in the future.


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## Mlt18 (Jun 29, 2016)

I will pretend like I don't care but secretly hate them


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## Rhythmbat (Jan 6, 2018)

I'm sorry to be ignorant on the word you all are using but, what is "getting snapped at"?
I thought it was like someone snapping their fingers at you but from reading I think is not that...


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## KotaBear96 (Dec 11, 2017)

Rhythmbat said:


> I'm sorry to be ignorant on the word you all are using but, what is "getting snapped at"?
> I thought it was like someone snapping their fingers at you but from reading I think is not that...


When someone is angry at you most likely yelling and having an argument.


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## KotaBear96 (Dec 11, 2017)

BeaT said:


> When I was a elementary and middle school, I would punch them in the face. Now I go home and cry about it and feel worthless. At the time it happens, I pretend it doesn't bother me. Apathy is my shield in situations like this. I'll just shrug and be like "yeah, so?" But with abysmally low self esteem, I take anything negative to heart and it reinforces all the horrible things I think about myself.
> 
> As for the person it's coming from, I may try and avoid them for the rest of my life. If I can. If it's somebody I was friends with tho, I would basically ignore it and try to pretend it never happened.


Same :crying: although on very rare occasions I will snap back at them and if its during work I'm the one who gets in trouble, FML. So when I do stand up for myself im told I shouldn't of handled it that way.


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## Lohikaarme (Aug 28, 2013)

I won't even pretend it wouldn't offend me in the slightest, it most certainly would but if it was a one-time incident I would try to give them the benefit of the doubt. We all have our bad days, right?
Now if this behavior continued I would either start avoiding them or calmly but firmly make clear to them I don't appreciate their tone (it wouldn't be prudent to appear vulnerable in front of chronically irritable people, they'll latch on to it like sharks after blood). If they still refuse to cool down after that they'll promptly get stonewalled. I'm usually very patient but I draw the line at being used as an emotional punching bag.

edit: My answer is based on the assumption they do not apologize (let's be real here, few ever do); if they offered a sincere apology of course I would overlook what they did--it takes guts to admit you were wrong and I respect that.


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## BAH (Feb 12, 2012)

Usually just stare at em, and be calm. Now if it's in my face then it's a different story..


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## Rhythmbat (Jan 6, 2018)

KotaBear96 said:


> When someone is angry at you most likely yelling and having an argument.


ah, got it. thanks :wink2:


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## ShadowOne (Jun 27, 2016)

diffuse, exit, avoid


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Depends on who it is. If it's a stranger, I may do nothing since they might just be crazy. I just walk away. Nothing good comes from arguing with an unstable possibly insane person. 

If it's a friend, it depends on how nasty they are and whether I think I deserve it or not. Hasn't happened too many times though. If I feel I didn't deserve it, then I may just avoid them for a few weeks. 

I had one boss who yelled at me a few times (and other people). I just tried to ignore it and explain my reasoning for what I did. He had male menopause or something. So moody. 

99% of the times someone has snapped at me, it has either been a family member or a boyfriend. In those cases, I will often snap right back at them. With the boyfriends it often led to crying, telling them to go **** themselves, etc. 

My dad won't continue an argument for very long though. Like he will will rant but won't listen to the rant coming back to him. He'll get all pissy and then go into his room or if it's on the phone, he'll hang up. He's hung up the phone on me numerous occasions.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

I usually snap back. Which has gotten me into plenty of trouble over the years. And it'll probably get me killed some day.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

The most frustrating thing for me are those times where someone screams at me but then walks out the door and disappears for a few hours. 3 out 4 of my exes did that. They claimed it was because otherwise they might get so angry it could get physical. But the argument never gets resolved. So many people have really bad anger control management.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

When my dad yelled at me the other day I didn’t say much of anything which I think annoyed him even more. 

It really depends on the context, who it is, & how I’m feeling at the moment. If my mom had yelled at me like my dad I probably would’ve told her off


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## jolene23 (Nov 23, 2017)

I walk away from them and wonder what the hell I have done wrong.


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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

I'm pretty reactionary, so I usually snap back. Context is important, though.


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## SilentWolfGoesQuietly (Feb 1, 2018)

I just freeze and go on automatic pilot. My feelings shut down and I don’t respond.


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## thinkstoomuch103 (Nov 28, 2017)

One thing i can't stand is when they snap, then give me the cold shoulder.

My ex used to do that. He was pretty abusive? But it was never his fault.


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## Great Expectations (Jan 25, 2018)

It depends on the person and context.


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## forever in flux (Nov 26, 2016)

Pistol-whipping. They'll think twice about running their mouth next time, especially now they know I have a gun


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## weepingcamellia (Feb 2, 2018)

Depends on why they snapped. If they did, then either ignore it (if it's not my fault) or apologise (if it is).

But if they didn't have a good reason, snap back with extreme prejudice.


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## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

Creepy blank stare.


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## DarkmanX (Jun 27, 2013)

It depends.

But generally i get very upset & angry, especially if its infront of other people. I typically shut down towards everybody else after too just because i dont
wanna end up taking up that anger on someone that doesnt deserve it.

I am a hot head in that regard. Im known as a "soft" and "nice" guy, and that i am, but when i get angry i
do a 180 and can become the complete opposite and be the coldest person in the world.


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