# Going on second date :D



## Nessy (Mar 3, 2011)

Now I'm actually proud of myself :boogie I was very anxious the closer the clock got to when I was supposed to go and was very close to not going, but I did! 

Not just that but I came a lot less anxious as the date went and she wanted to prolong it so I figured she liked me  We went bowling and after the 3 rounds we paid for she wanted to pay for 3 more (I paid for the 3 first). 

Then when we were done with that she wanted to play air hockey so we played that for quite a few rounds  She beat me badly so it was revenge for beating her in bowling 

When we were done playing I asked her if she wanted to do something later and she smiled (I think) and said yes  Then we hugged and said goodbye.

All in all very happy and proud


----------



## josephisaverb (Mar 8, 2011)

Nice. It sounds like she likes you. Go for the kiss on the second date!


----------



## Vip3r (Dec 7, 2010)

Congrats! That's awesome! :clap


----------



## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

Congrats, 6 rounds of bowling? My arm would have fallen off.


----------



## LostProphet (Apr 4, 2010)

Nice job dude, well done!


----------



## ImWeird (Apr 26, 2010)

Aw, sounds like it was a lot of fun. Great job man


----------



## Nessy (Mar 3, 2011)

Thanks for all the kind words  Want to try and go for the kiss on the second date if it goes well like you said josephisaverb, one problem though; I'm terrified of overstepping any boundries so I didnt touch her all night yesterday except for the hug at the end. 

Dont know how to escalate the physical side of things. Also I've never kissed anyone so I'm anxious about how that will go :S

Are there any subjects you bring up/talk about on second dates compared to first dates? Should you get a bit more personal or just talk about mostly superficial stuff? With the last girl I went out with we never got any closer because all we talked about was superficial stuff date after date.


----------



## LostProphet (Apr 4, 2010)

If you are really nervous about just going for it, just say something about it like "I really want to kiss you right now..." or "Can I kiss you?". That way you can gauge her reaction and it won't be as scary. Chances are she won't be opposed to it especially since she wanted to see you again.

And it's not totally strange for you to do/want this, you guys are seeing each other in a romantic sense, which is the whole point of meeting people on dating sites.

And yes you can get more personal on the second date. If you are genuinely interested, then ask her about herself and try to get to know her a bit.


----------



## Nessy (Mar 3, 2011)

Well I did ask her about different things but not very personal stuff. More like "Where have you traveled", asked her about her pets, what she likes to do and stuff like that.

Should I tell her about my SA and BDD now or ever for that matter?  Or do you think that might scare her off? I'm really just not got at this stuff

Thanks for the answer too


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Absolutely, positively do not mention SA or anything related to your insecurities. You can get personal, but talk about travel and other fun, light stuff. Focus on having fun - it's only the second date, after all. You want to keep a sense of mystery about yourself as well. Laying all your cards on the table so very early will not keep her interested. Girls like a confident guy who leaves them guessing. I'm not saying you have to play games, just don't spill your heart out right away. I know it's extremely tempting to go there when you don't have much experience and you have SA - it's a comfort thing. You don't want to be comforted, though. You want to be a stud.

As for the kiss, just go for it at the end of the date. Look into her eyes when you are about to depart each other, and if she lingers for a second just slowly move in for the kiss. One or two slow, sensual kisses, no big deal, don't go for tongue or anything. It helps if you are somewhat physical with her during the date. When you say something sarcastic, laugh and touch her arm. When you walk into the venue, put your palm lightly on her lower back and guide her inside as you hold the door open. Hold her hand when you are leaving. These are some things that will make her much more comfortable with kissing you at the end of the night. It's all about gradually increasing her comfort in being physical with you.


----------



## LostProphet (Apr 4, 2010)

Nessy said:


> Well I did ask her about different things but not very personal stuff. More like "Where have you traveled", asked her about her pets, what she likes to do and stuff like that.
> 
> Should I tell her about my SA and BDD now or ever for that matter?  Or do you think that might scare her off? I'm really just not got at this stuff
> 
> Thanks for the answer too


No problem man!

I agree with what rymo said, don't bring up that stuff yet. If you and the girl do get together, the right time will come to tell her.

And yeah it might not be the best idea to start probing her about _super_ personal stuff, just try and "go with the flow".

rymo also brought up another important point. When you do go for the kiss, *do not* just shove your tongue in her mouth, just give her some gentle kisses. Then if things start getting intense, well then hf


----------



## Nessy (Mar 3, 2011)

Thanks both for help  Uhm, having never kissed before I was wondering, how long should a kiss last?


----------



## crimsoncora (Mar 29, 2011)

Omg am soooo happy for you 

Huggsss


----------



## i just want luv (Feb 13, 2011)

Nessy said:


> Thanks both for help  Uhm, having never kissed before I was wondering, how long should a kiss last?


someone answer


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Don't worry about how long the kiss should last. If I tell you X seconds, you will focus too much on that number and end up being awkward. Just do what feels right in the moment. Just know that you don't want to just give a quick peck, and you also don't want to plant one that lasts forever. Don't worry, a few weeks ago I was in the same boat as you. I was freaking out about the first kiss, then making out, then even sex. I mean freaking out - I wanted to do everything perfectly. Once it all happens though, you realize its not such a big deal at all and most of it comes naturally, so the best thing to do is to just relax.


----------



## madsv (Mar 19, 2010)

Great job and good luck in the next date.

As the others say. Dont worry about the things. Take it as it comes. There are no rules of what you should talk about, how long a kiss should last etc.


----------



## Nessy (Mar 3, 2011)

Thanks all for the support and kind words <3  

Going out tomorrow for pizza and a movie at the cinema, she also said shes looking forward to it


----------



## LostProphet (Apr 4, 2010)

Nessy said:


> Thanks all for the support and kind words <3
> 
> Going out tomorrow for pizza and a movie at the cinema, she also said shes looking forward to it


:high5


----------



## woot (Aug 7, 2009)

Nessy please disregard all of the other poster's info on kissing (no offense)

Let it come naturally, don't force it just because it's the second date. Go with the flow, Take the lead, then let her. If no kiss, then no kiss, just flow


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

woot said:


> Nessy please disregard all of the other poster's info on kissing (no offense)
> 
> Let it come naturally, don't force it just because it's the second date. Go with the flow, Take the lead, then let her. If no kiss, then no kiss, just flow


I said if she lingers then go for it (i.e. LETTING IT HAPPEN NATURALLY). Thank you for stating exactly what I said and dismissing it at the same time, thus contradicting yourself.


----------



## woot (Aug 7, 2009)

Well you said "Just know that you don't want to just give a quick peck, and you also don't want to plant one that lasts forever."

I'm saying don't even think about it period. Relax


----------



## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

*Both of you behave yourselves or You may find yourselves on a hiatus from the board.*


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Sorry, I get too worked up when someone has to completely dismiss my post just because they have a different opinion - I don't know why I take it so seriously though, maybe I didn't get enough sleep last night or something.


----------



## woot (Aug 7, 2009)

Behave myself? What a ridiculous post super moderator.


----------



## Briisthebest (Apr 1, 2011)

Nessy said:


> Thanks both for help  Uhm, having never kissed before I was wondering, how long should a kiss last?


It does not have to be cliche man, you do not have to wine and dine her like the 50's and wait for the absoloute perfect moment because that is just going cause you real anxiety. When I was younger I used to think like that, but if your in for a second date you are DEFINIETLY ready to hook up. Usually you will get it with the first date and you will find out once you get this out of the way.

Dude, brush your teeth and tongue, get gum and smell good. As soon as you are comfortable in the date and she gives you those little looks and smiles your in. Another thing is if she backs off when you make the move it is not over maybe she does not want to in publc and that is fine but dont give a lot of tongue in public its just weird. In the car is the best spot too, when it gets akwardly quiet try to sneak a kiss in if you can. That will work also. Last if she is not feeling it something is wrong and is either REALLY SHY or most likely doesnt want it so dont waste your time chasing because its not worth it.


----------



## LostProphet (Apr 4, 2010)

So Nessy how did it go?


----------



## Nessy (Mar 3, 2011)

The saga continues on "Going on third date " thread


----------



## thisisnotfrancais1212 (Mar 21, 2011)

CONGRATS!! It sounds like she really likes you. Don't worry about the kiss...just let it happen!


----------

