# Keeping to myself at work



## Sunhawk (Oct 3, 2013)

I work as a janitor, and recently changed district where I always meet my co-workers at lunch or when I'm dropping of dirty mops.

At first, I tried to act like I didn't have SA, it went pretty good, I tried to be social when we were having lunch but then I noticed that it was quite exhausting for me and they didnt seem to be that comfortable with me.

A few of them can't even look at me.

Now I've started to skip lunch, trying to avoid going into our office to leave dirty mops if someone's there and of course I dont feel good about it.

I WANT to talk to them, I WANT to take my lunch break, that's the kind of person I am, but the anxiety makes it so hard.

Heck, I can't even look my parents in the eyes anymore, especially my dad.


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## snowberry (Nov 22, 2013)

Same with me. It's so difficult and frustrating - makes me crazy!


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## Lacking Serotonin (Nov 18, 2012)

Damn I want a janitor job so bad.


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## Ohio Fatso (Mar 17, 2008)

Sunhawk said:


> I WANT to talk to them


Isn't that something?

If you ever do get a conversation going with them, don't you try to prolong it and hold onto them as long as you can? I do. I know once they leave it's going to be hours, if not days or weeks before anybody talks to me again.

I mean talking as in a real conversation, not the whole "I'm better than you and I'm gonna tell you why right now" one way street of teeth kicking I usually get.


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## fobia (Feb 19, 2010)

Sunhawk said:


> they didnt seem to be that comfortable with me.
> A few of them can't even look at me.


How did you come to that conclusion ?
Do they show you somehow that they do no feel comfortable with you ?


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## Sunhawk (Oct 3, 2013)

Ohio Fatso said:


> If you ever do get a conversation going with them, don't you try to prolong it and hold onto them as long as you can?


Not really, because I'm afraid that I'm gonna stutter. Everytime I want to say more than three words, I really have to focus so the anxiety doesnt take over. That's why it's so exhausting.


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## Sunhawk (Oct 3, 2013)

fobia said:


> How did you come to that conclusion ?
> Do they show you somehow that they do no feel comfortable with you ?


When I say "hey, how's it going?", some just answer "good" without looking at me or say anything else. That's a good enough sign that they arent comfortable talking to me. And I see them talking a lot with other people.


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## fobia (Feb 19, 2010)

Umm..well, as you said, you are trying to focus on SA and keep yourself in check when making conversations and it is exhausting for you. Maybe you co-workers feel that as well?That you are trying to make contact, but not just contacting. Maybe they think it is hard for you to talk to them ?

If few of them don't even look at you, it means that other do look? So you have something positive as well.

People don't like other persons problems and they do not offer their patience or understanding very readily.

What about not skipping the lunch, but just being yourself - being shy and quiet if it needed and is comfortable for you at the beginning ?

Maybe the mistake here is to act like others when you are not like others ?


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