# Is it wrong to never want to be in a relationship?



## chantellabella

I'm not playing hard to get. I seriously don't want any type of relationship other than friendship. 

I look around this forum though and it seems everyone is just trying to hook up with everyone. 

It might be that most of the people here are either teens or in their 20's. So I understand them wanting to get into a relationship. 

But seriously...........the people I know in my life and I don't want to be in a relationship. They are both men and women who are my friends. I'm not interested in a closer relationship and neither are they. We like being just friends. 

Do you all think that's wrong? 

I looked around here the other day and it just seemed like one big who's trying to get with who fest. 

I think I'm just frustrated that whenever I'm around single people I feel like I'm in some sort of jungle and everyone is in heat. It's just annoying. 

I like being single. I really do. 

Ok ...............rant over.


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## KiwiGirl

I don't think its wrong for you to say you don't want to be in a relationship.
I know what you mean too by this forum being a hook up place lol.
I think if your happy being single than go for it.
I was happy being single too and even though I had men chasing me I wasn't really interested in them, I would date them, but I just couldn't get into them and I would think I'd rather be single because I'm happy on my own... but that's until a man walked into my life recently and now I can't imagine being single and not living without him.

There is nothing wrong with being single.


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## chantellabella

komorikun said:


> So you just want sex and no dating?


Nope. Just want friends and no sexual tension. I'm not saying I don't want sex ever. I'm just saying that I don't want sex as the #1 priority to pal around with anyone be it woman or man.

I just get the vibe that people are only looking for that. I dated several guys after my divorce and had sex with them. I was wrong to do that. I think that was the only reason why they wanted to hook up. And actually I was urged by my co-workers to go on the dates because I picked up that they were desperate and co-dependent. I went anyway, hated it so bad, go drunk and then after the date really regretted it. Then it took me awhile to get rid of them because they didn't get the message to go away.

So now I have really big radar guns out. If people want to be my friend, great. My definition is doing fun things together, talking, having a good time. But if the big thing hanging in the air for the guy is just waiting to get me in the bed, well, then it's no fun for me. That's what I don't want.

I guess that's why I'm asking. Is it so strange to not have sex as a priority. I want fun companions. Not a sex partner. At least for now.

Maybe that makes me cold? Dunno.

I just don't want all that right now. Just a friend. That's all I want in a relationship. I don't want to feel like prey.


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## estse

komorikun said:


> So you just want sex and no dating?


Yes.


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## shyshisho

I think if I had more friends I wouldn't care about being single.


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## gaz

In my case it's not the the fact that i don't want any relationship it's my extreme low self esteem stopping me. A lot of the time i do admit that i don't want a relationship/sex/dating but i feel i am only fooling myself.


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## tennislover84

No, it's not wrong  If you feel happier being single, then what's wrong with that? I think everybody should pursue the kind of life that makes them happy, as long as it's not hurting anybody else. And you're not hurting anybody.

I don't think it makes you cold either.  It just makes you... you.

It's understandable why there are lots of lonely people here though. Social anxiety makes it harder to find partners. I'm not sure everybody is just looking for sex though, or has it as their priority. Well, I know it isn't that way for me anyway. I'd just like companionship, and to feel loved and appreciated.


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## pchaos

The important part of friendship is being loved and appreciated. However, you need to realize that for some people, in order to love and appreciate another, they need to have sex.

All you need to do is avoid people that want sex as part of the deal.


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## _AJ_

why the heck would you get in a relationship if it would make your life suck??

its so not wrong!

what is wrong is obeying any of society's dumb rules


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## purplekicks

YES it is wrong!!! HAHAHA! I'm so kidding. Of course you can just be single and have friends only!!!

I know people are looking for a partner in life. My mantra is to love yourself first and foremost, and if you do that, you will have a better success rate with happiness with or without someone. 

And I get the sense you are ok with who you are and since you have experience , marriage and divorce that makes you more the wise on relationships that suit you. Meaning, you know what you want and don't want. 

I say more power to ya!


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## BlueScreen

> what is wrong is obeying any of society's dumb rules


Couldn't agree more.


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## PickleNose

It is not wrong to want whatever it is you want as long as it's legal. And even then, if they were to ban not wanting to be in a relationship, they would be wrong. Not you. It is generally never wrong to chase your desires and disregard what others think of it.


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## kreeper

I envy you! I don't see it as a problem at all to not want a relationship, in fact I think it would make a lot of our lives a lot easier if we didn't have that added stress. I mean, a good romantic relationship can be wonderful, but being single can be just as wonderful, especially when you're happy with yourself and not aching for a warm body.


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## zork2001

I am pretty comfortable in not needing a relationship myself. I would like to have a girlfriend … I just don’t want her living with me is what I boils down to.


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## howard26

I think that once they find out how extremely boring i am, they'll run as fast as they can away from me. It may be why i don't let people in. They are curious, question me to death, then have no interest. It's not exactly what i think of myself. I think i'm complex, goofy, but at the same time, simple. I'm just not what they want. In summary, i guess i threw my hands up in the air and tell myself "screw it". I'm so accustomed to being alone, that being in a relationship is scary to me.


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## chantellabella

i agree with you all (sorry tpying with one hand - broken arm). once i let go of that feeling that i needed to find somebody to be worth something, i learned to like my own company. i could pursue my hobbies and enjoy them. i began to challenge myself with goals.

i have to admit that it steams my gravy buns that my ex still adheres to the belief that you're only worth something if you are with someone and/or married. what makes me mad is he gossips about me to my kids and has them believing it so much that one son met some last april married her last oct and is now getting a divorce. all because gumba head convinced him thats how you measure you worth.

so now my ex is married to a elderly gold digging drunk Shes way older than him and spends every dime he makes and my kids tell me (after i repeatedly tell them i don't want to hear it) that shes drunk 24/7. He and i were stuck in a co-dependent relationship and so he just went right into another one, while i learned to recognize and break free.

sorry for rambling. i finally took the pain med for my arm and im a bit woozy.


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## lostfromreality731

I prefer being single too, the whole idea of relationships or even trying to find a relationship just seems like so much unwanted hassle

Society makes it seem like everyone should have a relationship, but thats not the case, relationships especially if its someone you dont click with, are a waste of time


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## DarrellLicht

I think the fact that you're not offering any affection in your life is a scary thought to them. It is one of the powerful feelings you can experience in life. 

Which is something I do long for. Maybe you might too. Just don't want some of the other petty garbage that comes with 'relationships'.


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## JamesM2

It's not wrong. Being in a relationship holds no appeal to me either.


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## starsonfire

There's nothing wrong with being alone if you want to. I think a lot of people here are having a hard time dealing with their loneliness. You are fortunate not to suffer from it.


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## visualkeirockstar

Not at all. I think its cool to be single.


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## losteternal

^^^
I will second that.


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## catscats

Even though I am only 15 I know exactly where you are coming from. I have never been in a relationship and I'm not bothered about having one either. Only couple of guys have ever asked me out but I said no, I don't think I'm bothered if I stay a virgin for life.


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## Micronian

Maybe it's because I've lived my life on my own, and done so many things on my own, that I have no experience--and no need--for a relationship. I feel very uncomfortable thinking that I have to share much of my life with someone else, who likely won't leave me alone.

Also, I often think of what's going to happen when it ends and go off on my own. It's weird.

The only problem is that I sometimes crave sex, but it's impossible to get without a relationship (well, it's possible, but I don't feel like paying for it)....


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## EternallyRestless

I definitely don't want a relationship right now. I have more important things to focus on in life and I don't want someone to hold that emotional power over me.


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## WillYouStopDave

Of all the things that could possibly be considered wrong if you really wanted to nitpick, this one just doesn't have much legitimacy. 

If you were asking if it's wrong to cheat on your husband, I would say yes. If you just don't want a relationship, that's your business. It would be your business if you wanted to cheat too but at least I have no basis for criticizing you for not wanting a relationship.


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## karenw

Not at all as it's your choice, although I wouldn't rule it out as you don't know what your future holds, if you think you don't, you won't.


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## therandommattvideos

I feel the same way and I don't know why...

(im a guy)

Look, if ur over the age of 20, you should know that most guys and girls start feeling something around the ages of 12-14. they have a strange feeling. this feeling changes their thoughts on romance. They have a strong URGE to start dating people and they no longer feel embarrassed or grossed out at the thought of being someones boyfriend or girlfriend.. Right? most of you probably felt that.

WELL I DIDNT! ive always been slighty grossed out by the thought of a relationship. they still make me sick to my stomach and I hate seeing others flaunt affection in public. Im not some 12 year old kid.. k? im 15 years old! im a freshmen in high school. all my friends think im gay because im not attracted to any girls. what hurts the most, is that my closest of friends literally ask me once or twice a week if im gay. and I say NOOOO!!!!! im not gay, now stfu! the fact that they continue to ask after ive told them im not is basically saying "Matt, your obviously gay, ADMIT IT" I said **** you, to my best friend the other day, REAL LOUD because he asked me again if im actually gay or not.

and whenever I ask my friends why they continue to ask me if im gay, they say well... matt u don't like any girls, not to mention the fact none of your friends are girls. I am not a perv at all, which somehow classifies me as gay?? Just because im not a sick **** who likes watching porn and jerking off, means im gay?? well according to my gay *** friends it does! I always say EW NO, I don't watch porn if they ask me. (I actually don't watch it, ITS WRONG, end of story) I have no ****ing idea why I don't want to get into relationships. im not a pervert at all, and I seem to kind of ENJOY being single. everytime we have a dance at my high school, all the guys feel pressured to get a date. I actually LIKE going to dances single. And I purposely make sure everybody knows im going to dance single and alone. IDK WHY?! am I the only one?

Do I have some like hormonal imbalance or some ****? Cause Im pretty sure I don't feel the way I should at my age! Do I want to feel it.. NO, I just want to know who else feels like this and why the hell I do.

I don't get it... but atleast theirs someone else out there feels the same way


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## DeeperUnderstanding

I've tried to pretend that I don't want a relationship, but I definitely do. There is no kidding myself over that.


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## ilsr

Sorry, I don't really believe it. Because if you find the right man in 7 billion people you will want to be in a relationship with. 

I've fallen in love like 5 times in my life just to see them go to someone they like and fell for. Didn't matter what age. From 19 to 47.


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## visualkeirockstar

Nothing is wrong. The reason we want relationship is because we're programed to.


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## bottleofblues

Nope, i feel a bit conflicted on it, on one hand part of me desires it, on the other i find romantic stuff kind of repulsive. I feel like in a mental tug of war over it, i guess maybe if i met someone i really dug i'd just leave my reservations at the door.


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## straightarrows

it's not wrong,,,, but when turn 60+ you'll need someone in ur life...


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## chefdave

Its not wrong but its probably unnatural.


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## Kiwong

It's not wrong, it's a valid lifestyle choice.


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## goitalone

I know that if/when my husband leaves me, I will NEVER date again. 
I'm ruined, and can't trust anymore. Can't love anymore. Don't want to invest in time and work on someone only to have them suck the life out of me again, then leave me cause I'm lifeless. 

I never ever ever want to have a boyfriend/husband ever again, in my life. And I'm old and ugly enough that I never will, even if I WANTED to, so that's fine. 

I just want friends. Plain old friends. No pressure. No stress. 
But it doesn't even look like I'll have that.


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## howard26

I've rejected women before it got anywhere, because i'm positive that I am not what they want. I am just saving us both time, trouble and heartache. When someone is all smiles 100% of the time, it's a turnoff for me. I'm used to doing what i want, when i want, or just staring out the window, working on music at 3 am, etc. How would i act with another person in my home? Kinda scary.


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## LoungeFly

Of course it's not wrong. Do you and what makes you happy. If friendships, and no romantic relationships is what makes you happy, there is nothing wrong with that.


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## krites

bottleofblues said:


> Nope, i feel a bit conflicted on it, on one hand part of me desires it, on the other i find romantic stuff kind of repulsive. I feel like in a mental tug of war over it, i guess maybe if i met someone i really dug i'd just leave my reservations at the door.


I feel the same way about the romance aspect. I want to be alone and not be alone at the same time. Maybe it's also the whole accountability thing - having to care for someone and knowing that someone cares for you, and always having to consider the other person whenever you make any decisions. I've never been good at that and have become so used to doing everything independently that I don't think I even have it in me to be in a relationship anymore. Come to think of it, I don't want a relationship, I just don't want to sleep alone.


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## jvanb00c

I don't think it's wrong. I sometimes feel content without a relationship but other times I do get lonely . I feel like I will always feel the grass is greener. If I get a relationship I will eventually hate it and crave being single again, then I will hate being single after a bit and crave a relationship. Life is frustrating.


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## binsky

I'm okay being single, but I'd rather be in relationship, I think. I would rather live by myself and only have him come around sometimes though. I'll never be in a relationship though... too old and have too many issues.


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## sincerelybrooklyn

I FEEL YOU !!

I have no interest in a relationship & it's crazy cause I have a guy who whats to be with me, cherish me, treat me like a queen, would Drop anything to be by my side & I just. . can't love him back in that way. He's FAR from an *******, & is NOT ugly, VERY funny, loving, caring . . I know right ? Whats wrong with me ?!:mum . Lol, but in all seriousness, I think that I'm just too much of a free spirited person & if I were to tie myself down in a relationship, I'm gonna feel trapped . . confined . . Am I wrong ?


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## TheVoid

chantellabella said:


> I'm not saying I don't want sex ever. I don't want sex as the #1 priority....


Try asking this: is it so strange to not want sex at all? Because I am an asexual lost in a sex-obsessed world.


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## 0blank0

Nope. Totally normal. That's just how u are may change may not.


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