# I went to group therapy today..



## MoonlitMadness (Mar 11, 2013)

My God. I was nervous as hell, but knew I couldn't _not_ go. I have tried CBT twice before. The only available free courses of CBT run for a maximum of 12 weeks.. And this group session is CBT also, lasting only 6 weeks, though there are other options if you feel you need extra help.

Anyway. I hated it. I went in there proud of myself for wanting to get help. But I just felt like I was back at uni. Having to do group work. Introduce the person next to you to the group. Shout out answers etc. There was a mix of people with depression and anxiety.. And I can't speak for how depressed the others in the group were, but I just feel like compared to them, I am more anxious..? I mean, we had to split in two groups and almost everyone was quite interactive and really openly talking about their anxiety. The girl next to me, I asked her if she has anxiety but she said she didn't and she just didn't like to be in the spotlight. On my other side was a guy who was strangely attractive, I mean he wasn't an Adonis, but he had this look in his eyes that made him appear so genuine, so vulnerable. It makes me want a guy like that. But the only guys I meet are the ones in clubs when I am drunk! A lot of people in the group seemed to be in relationships. Then there was me. And I just can't get over how interactive everyone was. I took a beta blocker before I went but was still too scared to speak. When it came to the group work, I literally froze. I couldn't think of the task at hand, I could only think everyone is so much more confident than me.

I went home feeling like crap. I took a shower just now and was crying my heart out, seriously. Everything they talk about in the class I already know, as I've read so much on CBT and of course have already tried the actual therapy. I have these stupid dreams in my head, that maybe one day I could act on stage and maybe have some sort of creative career, or maybe become a teacher. There was a young lady in the group who was already a teacher. I just think, how the hell does she do it? And she was so bloody confident too. I just went home trying not to cry, I mean even in a place where I thought I wouldn't feel alone, I really did feel alone. I just feel like, I'm so pathetic for thinking I can do these things.

Once upon a time, I used to love drawing and writing short stories. Now I haven't done that for probably a year. BUT, on Wednesday, I actually got this sudden urge to draw, and I felt stupidly happy for no apparent reason. Now I am back to feeling like a complete failure. These feelings are so strong, how can CBT help?

Also, I was wanting to arrange a meet up in London sometime soon, but I'm thinking what's the point! I can't even talk to people! I can't even try. I can't offer anything to anybody.


----------



## Steinerz (Jul 15, 2013)

Sucks. Keep at it I guess.


----------



## Alone75 (Jul 29, 2013)

This sounds like the group therapy course I got sent on while waiting for CBT a few years back. It was to help improve your "confidence and assertiveness" and I found it really tough and ended up walking out half way through.

I felt like I was going to have a panic attack sitting on chairs in a circle facing each other! We had to introduce the person next to me [a married teacher] and say 3 things they like, they do the same for you. They all seemed quite normal and successful in life compared to me, but that's not really hard quite frankly.

Then the guy and therapist lady who were talking to us, were on about role playing elements to come and how much fun it would be. I felt my heart drop, that sounded the complete opposite of fun! I felt really upset later, It reinforced how pathetic my life was I felt and how I had been carrying on.  Sorry you didn't find it helpful.


----------



## deadready (Mar 5, 2014)

That really sucks..I just booked mine for next month and I'm so worried but happy I've booked it at the same time, sorry it didn't go well :-(

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


----------



## changeme77 (Feb 22, 2013)

I could never do group therapy. I think you should go back to one-on-one therapy you will benefit from it more.


----------



## CEB32 (Mar 6, 2014)

Sounds like a group for mild sufferers and people with minor self confidance issues rather than what half of us on here have. I did some[thing similar years and years ago when the issues first started, i can say now that it would be no good for me at this moment at all because of the type of people who go to them, not bad people, just not very serious issues. The type of course/therapy is a backwater thinking with a lack of understanding for singular needs.

You will want something which isnt strict and so formal. Not sure if there one near you or even if it will share a name, but there are places which are suited to you like horizons resource centre. You will just need a referral from a support worker/therapist. They are not timed courses or any crap like that, go if you want, dont if you want, do a group thing if you want or dont, just go for a cup of tea and try and have a chat with someone, or dont ;-)

I went today and there is no pressure other than what you put on yourself, a couple other people had fairly intense issues, others didnt. I didnt want to do the group activity as there were too many people(about 10/12) so i went upstairs and played a game of pool lol. Sounds like you need something like that rather than a typical therapy course.

I am sure there is something similar near you, they are funded by charities and ran by volunteers who have usually had issues themselves. The place i am talking about they even allow the users ie people like me to sit on the interview panel for people applying for jobs there.

Just because you had a bad experience dont give up on it, there are many types and styles of groups and a variety of help out there for you


----------



## itsover (Mar 14, 2014)

AceP said:


> This sounds like the group therapy course I got sent on while waiting for CBT a few years back. It was to help improve your "confidence and assertiveness" and I found it really tough and ended up walking out half way through.
> 
> I felt like I was going to have a panic attack sitting on chairs in a circle facing each other! We had to introduce the person next to me [a married teacher] and say 3 things they like, they do the same for you. They all seemed quite normal and successful in life compared to me, but that's not really hard quite frankly.
> 
> Then the guy and therapist lady who were talking to us, were on about role playing elements to come and how much fun it would be. I felt my heart drop, that sounded the complete opposite of fun! I felt really upset later, It reinforced how pathetic my life was I felt and how I had been carrying on.  Sorry you didn't find it helpful.


I wouldn't worry too much, I would have run out too.

Last year in uni they threw a presentation on us out of the blue and I told my partner I was going to the toilet, decided to do a runner instead and left him in the lurch.


----------



## forex (Dec 29, 2010)

changeme77 said:


> I could never do group therapy. I think you should go back to one-on-one therapy you will benefit from it more.


one on one is terrible , you are going to FEEL FORCED to talk :|

i will start group therapy soon , am glad bc the focus will spread among others and not directly to me. (she said there is an option to be 1on1 :blank)


----------



## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Well you need confidence to sign up for group therapy so it makes sense that they all seemed confident.


----------



## P1e2 (Jan 18, 2014)

Congrats for having the guts to go to group therapy. In college I went to a group for shy people well it was kind of for social anxiety. I went a few times and I remember one guy talking about how he wanted more confidence talking to the opposite sex. I was mainly quiet and did not really speak up much. I am not sure if I would go to group therapy now or not. Maybe the group therapy will get better the second time and it would be interesting if people had homework and had to present their answers or something.

I just want more confidence at work and speaking at work in groups. I am ok one on one with coworkers, but in a group at a meeting or at lunch I am quiet. It is so uncomfortable at work and a few coworkers like to talk and talk all day and they are really great at talking at the meetings. In fact I believe if they could sit and talk all day they would. They would sit and talk all day about how this and that could be improved. I do not mind a meeting or two, but I just want to do my job. That is just me.

Good luck with future group therapy.


----------



## KalamityRVT (Apr 4, 2014)

I sooo feel you! But you tried, better than I can do, I'm not just afraid of other people/groups, I just dislike them so much. I can't relate to most of their problems, and don't feel helped by them at all. I feel helped somewhat by therapists alone if I can ever force myself to go, but group is just awful for SA sufferers. I don't chat. I just don't.


----------



## CyberChimp (Aug 15, 2013)

MoonlitMadness, stop focusing on the negative. What you need to be proud of, is going to group therapy despite your fear. That was very courageous of you, and I genuinely congratulate you. I know you feel like comparing yourself with the others, but it's pointless. You can't expect progress from the first time and you don't know what the others are about.

What you have to do now, is push through those sad, painful and angry emotions, PERSIST! Go again! And again! Don't let your emotions dictate your reality and your course of actions, you're doing something that is good for you. And going through those emotions is part of your healing process.* Your emotions very often arise to keep you where you are at this moment in life, to resist and prevent change from occurring.*


----------

