# Coming Out about Mental Illness on Facebook?



## Whisper in the Wind (Aug 18, 2016)

Hi,

I am 23 years old, living in Australia, and have suffered with social anxiety and depression for the last 10 years. I have joined this forum looking for advice regarding ‘coming out’ about my mental health issues, from people who might have similar experiences.

September 8th is "R U OK? Day” in Australia. RUOK is a suicide prevention charity in Australia and the day is used to remind people to ask others ‘Are You Ok?’

I have been thinking that in the days leading up to RUOK Day I join Facebook (something anxiety has lured me away from), build a friend list with those I want to come out to, and then on RUOK Day tell them all that I have not been Ok, to explain myself and apologise where necessary. Additionally, my birthday falls within the week after RUOK Day, so if I were to ever get some sort of attention it would be then. Anyone visiting my page will see the message and become aware.

Has anyone done anything like this before? Just putting everything out there for everyone to see.
What sort of response did you get immediately? And has anything changed, or did it just go back to normal?


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## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

Depends. Do you think your friends will be accepting?


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## grimmer (Sep 12, 2015)

I did that with my family. My brother is extremely supportive about it but my parents started worrying and acting strange. Who you're coming out to is important.

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk


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## ysn (Feb 7, 2015)

Whisper in the Wind said:


> Hi,
> 
> I am 23 years old, living in Australia, and have suffered with social anxiety and depression for the last 10 years. I have joined this forum looking for advice regarding 'coming out' about my mental health issues, from people who might have similar experiences.
> 
> ...


I dont this is a good idea. I think you should talk to so


grimmer said:


> I did that with my family. My brother is extremely supportive about it but my parents started worrying and acting strange. Who you're coming out to is important.
> 
> Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk


Sent from my SM-G531H using Tapatalk


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## Makenzie83 (Aug 23, 2016)

That's a hard question as I don't know you or your friends, obviously. I can tell you what happened when I told my friends about what I was going through. I had a group of 9 very close friends. We grew up on the same block, all of our parents were friends, our families vacationed together, we were bridesmaids in each others weddings and godparents to each others children. When my SA hit later in life due to a lot of different traumas and I told all of my "friends," they acted concerned and supportive at first, but within a few months I realized they were no longer initiating contact. It was always on my shoulders to pick up the phone, send a text etc. So I stopped initiating contact to see what would happen. Only two reached out months later to see how I was doing. The other 7 I haven't heard from. It was a real eye opener. I guess we didn't have the friendships I thought we had. 

Then, I have an online friend who told all of her friends about her SA and they've been great. They all come over to hear house once a week to hang out! 

You just never know what you're going to get and you have to hope for the best, but prepare yourself for the worst. I honestly think I would be doing much better today if that rejection had not happened to me, but there is no use in crying over split milk now, is there?


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## Whisper in the Wind (Aug 18, 2016)

Thanks for your responses



sad1231234 said:


> Depends. Do you think your friends will be accepting?


This is what I'm hoping to find out - Who will be there?
I don't want to be overdramatic, but for so long it has felt that I have no friends. At school I had a large group to hang around with, but in that group there were little cliques of 3-4 guys who'd hang together. I had friends, but no best friends. I was very quiet and didn't draw attention, so I was never invited anywhere outside of school. I was never mistreated or bullied, but my thoughts convinced me that behind my back I was disliked. I convinced myself that I was not worthy of friendships because of my unwillingness to open up, ask questions, and get to know people. Therefore once I finished school I kept no contact with anyone, believing these people wanted me rid of.
I think initially there will be an outpour of support and well-wishes, but I'm wary about what happens a month or two later.



grimmer said:


> I did that with my family. My brother is extremely supportive about it but my parents started worrying and acting strange. Who you're coming out to is important.


My parents and siblings are already aware about my mental illness and have been very supportive - It was Mum who urged me to speak to a doctor.
I have alienated myself from society, and coming out about my mental illness is my way to re-enter. The way I see it is it will be a shock, or surprise when people see my name appear, because they wouldn't have heard from me in years. Not everybody has to acknowledge me, I know that. If they do, that's great, If not, it doesn't worry me. 
I think a large weight will be lifted off my shoulders being so public about my struggles, and provide closure in regards to relationships and where I stand with people.



Makenzie83 said:


> That's a hard question as I don't know you or your friends, obviously. I can tell you what happened when I told my friends about what I was going through. I had a group of 9 very close friends. We grew up on the same block, all of our parents were friends, our families vacationed together, we were bridesmaids in each others weddings and godparents to each others children. When my SA hit later in life due to a lot of different traumas and I told all of my "friends," they acted concerned and supportive at first, but within a few months I realized they were no longer initiating contact. It was always on my shoulders to pick up the phone, send a text etc. So I stopped initiating contact to see what would happen. Only two reached out months later to see how I was doing. The other 7 I haven't heard from. It was a real eye opener. I guess we didn't have the friendships I thought we had.
> 
> Then, I have an online friend who told all of her friends about her SA and they've been great. They all come over to hear house once a week to hang out!
> 
> You just never know what you're going to get and you have to hope for the best, but prepare yourself for the worst. I honestly think I would be doing much better today if that rejection had not happened to me, but there is no use in crying over split milk now, is there?


You're right about not knowing what to expect. I'm at a point where I have to try something, and the more I think about it and read other people's experiences, the more hope I feel this could work out well. I can't confidently say I have nothing to lose, but there is a lot I could gain. For now I think I will go ahead with my plan, but I will probably change my mind 100 times before then.


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## Dreaming1111 (Aug 31, 2016)

I have no experience with going on Facebook about it but I tried telling people about my SA and they usually don't understand what it's like. Some people will be supportive but some may be uncomfortable. I wish I had the courage to do something like that. It's certainly not something we should feel ashamed of and if you go ahead with it just keep in mind there may be some people who are not receptive to this. But you never know and it may be just fine.


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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

Nooooooooo. That's my answer.


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## Ammarl1332 (Sep 5, 2016)

I'm not so sure. My main concern for me doing such a thing are my parents who I think would worry a lot (esp. since i'm in a different country atm for univ). Since you've already told them, I imagine that isn't your concern. In my opinion, I think it would be better to come out to your close friends in private. That way it's more personal and they can better understand your situation. A public post about a delicate topic may be too strange for many, just like those annoying posts about couples who post their relationship fights online, albeit more important.


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## Brinkbrink (Mar 16, 2016)

I have to say definitely NO for facebook.

I'm actually in quite a similar situation to you. Been suffering from depression/anxiety for about 10 years now and started seeking treatment. I reached out to a single person recently and we've been talking a bit over email the past week or two and it's been very nice. This however is a family member that I practically grew up with and even then there is some awkwardness and doubt. If you are to reach out, I recommend maybe privately messaging 1 or 2 people that you really have a history with. Though take my comments with a grain of salt as I'm still venturing on this path myself.


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## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

Posting on facebook i dont think will get the reaction you are after people will most likely ignore the on i have seen that been going around lately is that it ok for men to talk about there mental illness and they do this with there hand 👌 but then i have a Friend on facebook who has social anxiety and he made a post about it not one person replyed or even liked his post but two days before he said he enjoying the blunt and got 15 likes 
mental illness is hard for people to understand who have never had it like i told my gran about my anxiety as she want to take me out for lunch and i said no i don't want to she got upset with me about it so i had to explain why even she could not understand why i was like this
So i give up on telling people i am not close to about it


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