# Why do I want to push my friends away?



## btser (Jun 28, 2017)

I’ve been trying to find a post on the internet that could explain my thoughts, yet I’ve found no one who shares my feelings, so it started worrying me.
Anxiety had never stopped me from trying to be a good friend, but this year I feel like my life and my feelings in general got worse. 
The past weeks especially have been filled with much overthinking about life and my friendships, because I’m pretty much convinced that I don’t care enough about people and can’t love them properly, so I have this strong desire to be left alone instead of being chased after. I don’t want anyone to asphyxiate me. Yes, I feel like I can’t breathe whenever I think of how much effort I should put in a friendship, because my friends have expectations, some of them low, others high.
Lately we argued a bit because I disappear or distance myself emotionally, but I really can’t share anything and I need periods of isolation. I want them to keep their distance from me, a part of me wants them to forget about me, I don’t know why and it’s driving me crazy. What the hell is wrong with me?


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## iamanonymous (Nov 2, 2016)

I think I may have the same problem. I am just so use to being a loner for such a long period of my life that I do not know how to function with friends and other social things, everything needs to have a purpose, so things like socializing appear to be pointless when initially making friends. Atleast you guys are close enough to argue ^_^
(note your taking advice from someone who doesn't deal with friend things much.) I think a possible reason 4 energy depletion and needing to manage your friends expectations of you is not being yourself. Maybe try not managing their expectations? and just acting like how you things you should act (probably not as easy as it sounds)
what are the expectations anyways?
Do you actually like your friends? or are you just trying to fit in?
why do I ask so many questions?


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## Sky Blue (Sep 17, 2017)

Because being close means being vulnerable?

Because disappointing people sucks?

Because some people feel like they don't deserve love?

Because being a good friend takes time?


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## seekshallfind (Dec 2, 2017)

I would say your have been baptized, have reached intelligence of self, the others outside your realm have no understanding.
A diagnosis of one self in true light will find a cure with peace.
I have old standard friends that I can rely on, the new people got lost in animated synthesis cued on tech.
Your age I am guessing young 30's ? Know your interests and explore your mind in creativity, to focus
a channel to the future not those bad experiences we all have. Autism is among us all but have to be intelligent
enough to recognize the reflection in motion. 
The world today has changed from a PROGRESSIVE way to a very strange way of awakening....... the liberals
are becoming "PRINCIPLED" here in the US and the women are open to the truth, this means limits on freedom
men can't treat women like dogs anymore. 
Top problem for all people they lack knowing who, how and why they are, the Holy-Spirit provides this true reflection.
Joy
Jim


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## GameAddict901 (May 23, 2016)

I always do this too. Anytime I get close to someone the pressure is just too much for me so I usually just ghost them. Feels like I'm doing them a favor so they dont have to pretend to like me or be interested in what I say.


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## Excaliber (May 16, 2015)

I'm sure for me its the time that's required to invest in the friendship that's always been the problem, it ends up feeling like a chore, and I need space for a bit to breath, so I end up pushing people away because its easy. If I'm going to be out I need to be in the mood to do so, and when I want to, but it doesn't work that way if you want to keep up friendships, both parties need to invest equally to keep it going or it slowly withers away.


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## ConfusedMuse (Jan 26, 2011)

I do this all the time. Relationships require effort, and usually lead to disappointment and/or someone getting hurt. Ultimately I'm lazy, numb, cold hearted and prefer to be alone most of the time. As such, my friendships are kept at arms length and I rarely initiate anything because then the onus is on me to keep it going.


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## seekshallfind (Dec 2, 2017)

*lost now found*

I hear ya!
We all seem to feel this detachment on all levels but should I be depressed all the time with this state of mind?
Our brains have a involuntary redundancy program that keeps us in a BAD or GOOD loop state system, if I keep introverted 
and think of all my losses then I cant deal with the world.

I try to see my world in a brighter light of positive hopefulness and loop this as long as I can, it's like a higher state of mind.

We all own a broken recording that we play out to the world it just tainted and needs the proper alignment. :nerd:

This requires patience to no end................

Oh! an other thing, if your are a CHEAP-SELFISH person, you need to reverse this to be a $GIVER$ money doesn't buy REAL friends
but being charitable or helpfulness does, it leaves in the other people a reference mark in their memory to reflect on.


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## Backwoods Redneck (Dec 16, 2017)

I've been doing this for years. I have friends who have been wanting to hang out and I cut them off completely. I don't even try to hang out with them. They are good people. I guess at the time I figured, It would only be a temporary thing until I could get my mind right and get back with them. I guess I never did get my mind right because I still avoid them. It's already a full time job trying to stay sane, so adding friends to the mix just overloads my circuits so I cut them out.

I guess the reason I cut my friends out to begin with is because I was getting to a point where I felt I was pretending to be happy when I really wasn't and not because of my friends, but because of myself and my mindset. I was getting to a point where when I was with them, I couldn't enjoy it because I was too focused on my crazy and not what we were doing. I just wanted to use all of my time to fix myself, then be the friend they deserved, by not having my mind focused on my own issues when hanging out. I guess I never did figure it out.


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## seekshallfind (Dec 2, 2017)

_I couldn't enjoy it because I was too focused on my crazy!_

It could be our looping of self and the in ability to listen, I am in a constant dreamland with reading, listening or hearing to focus takes much effort to get a connection
that is constant. I notice that others see this and make eyes and remarks about my disability, can't change the world, I guess it's only me that will change some how.


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## Winds (Apr 17, 2011)

I'm in a similar position at the moment so I can see where you're coming from. I try to be engaging and put effort in, but after awhile I tend to back away because I need a break.


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## Backwoods Redneck (Dec 16, 2017)

seekshallfind said:


> _I couldn't enjoy it because I was too focused on my crazy!_
> 
> It could be our looping of self and the in ability to listen, I am in a constant dreamland with reading, listening or hearing to focus takes much effort to get a connection
> that is constant. I notice that others see this and make eyes and remarks about my disability, can't change the world, I guess it's only me that will change some how.


That's a very good point and I'm exactly the same way. It's like my focus button is broken and I have to concentrate extremely hard in all of those things and it becomes frustrating and extremely mind draining so I choose to avoid it most of the time. Hence, no friends, and avoiding social situations.


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