# Need help finding a book to help me or anything



## Jillianzarnowiec (Jul 6, 2010)

Hi I'm Jill I'm 27 and I feel like I'll always be shy and lonely and sad and ill never change. I'm so so so mean to myself, I'm always talking bad to myself and can't help it. I don't even like myself. I'm I'm counseling and she says I'm the only client she has that treats herself so badly. I feel like changing is going to be a long progress for me, I feel it never happening. I have no friends and can't really talk to people. But I want to find something such as a good book to help me, to give mE guidance. Just feels like ill be 80 until I'm happy lol thanks guys!


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## paulyD (Feb 16, 2011)

Jillianzarnowiec said:


> Hi I'm Jill I'm 27 and I feel like I'll always be shy and lonely and sad and ill never change. I'm so so so mean to myself, I'm always talking bad to myself and can't help it. I don't even like myself. I'm I'm counseling and she says I'm the only client she has that treats herself so badly. I feel like changing is going to be a long progress for me, I feel it never happening. I have no friends and can't really talk to people. But I want to find something such as a good book to help me, to give mE guidance. Just feels like ill be 80 until I'm happy lol thanks guys!


overcoming social anxiety and shyness by gillian butler


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## bluepelican (Nov 7, 2009)

http://www.amazon.com/New-Earth-Awa...9963/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1304691495&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Gui...4808/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1304691495&sr=8-3


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## AndrejSosic (Jan 28, 2011)

Hey Jill, what is it that you do that your counselor says that you treat yourself badly? Do you think that it could be the pessimism? 
Well, I don't believe that you'll be 80 before you get happy. Just the fact that you're searching for solution is a sign that you want to do something about your problem. And you know what, problems are a part of life and life without them would be boring. We just need to look at problems as challenges or opportunities to grow. I'm sure that once you change how you see things around you, your progress will become much faster.


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## sprinter (Nov 22, 2003)

I highly recommend Reinventing Your Life by Jeffrey E. Young PhD and Janet S.Klosko http://www.amazon.com/Reinventing-Your-Life-Breakthough-Behavior/dp/0452272041

I don't know why I took so long to get around to reading this book it's one of the best self-help books I've ever bought. Before that one I finished reading Overcoming Stage Fright in Everyday Life.
http://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Stage-Fright-Everyday-Life/dp/051770465X

These two books quite accidentally seem to complement each other. The first book is not specifically about SAD but explains Schema Therapy.


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## destroyer09 (Sep 18, 2010)

Hi u are the female me. I am also 27 and am real hard on myself. I also have no friends and am alone right now. I have not had a good week. I would love to talk to to get to know u if ur interested in making a friend just email me or pm me.


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## wheels00 (Feb 24, 2011)

paulyD said:


> overcoming social anxiety and shyness by gillian butler


I really like this book too.

I think it's great you're actually making an effort to turn things around Jill. That's a good sign. Even if it feels really hard.


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## serene7 (Jun 15, 2010)

bluepelican said:


> http://www.amazon.com/New-Earth-Awa...9963/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1304691495&sr=8-1
> 
> http://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Gui...4808/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1304691495&sr=8-3


That second book is awesome, i read it too.

Also, if you would consider not just a book, but audio therapy sessions, this is what helped me the most http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...ial-anxiety-step-by-step-audio-program-84075/


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## sprinter (Nov 22, 2003)

I have the Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness book, it's good but for me not as much as the Reinventing Your Life book. I've also read the _Eckhart Tolle_ stuff and I've had the Overcoming Social Anxiety step by step tapes for years. All I can say is unless you've had the perfect childhood and parents then you have to deal with the patterns that developed during childhood or your going to have only limited success. The sub-conscious is too powerful and these ingrained attitudes and behaviors are set during childhood and unless they are resolved in some way they just stick with you in your sub-conscious mind.

see http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f43/what-schemas-do-you-have-41569/


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## kurtjb (Aug 27, 2010)

The Overcoming Social Anxiety Step by Step series was by far the best resource I've come across for SA, and the Gilian Butler book (Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness) mentioned above was also excellent and filled in some important pieces for me. As for schema therapy, it sounds interesting, and appears you can buy the book on it on Amazon for about $2.50, so I might look into that myself. There's also "Feeling Good" which is a good overview of CBT. 

It's the best investment possible to learn more about your condition and the current treatments for it, so do not hesitate to buy more than one book and/or resource. If expense is an issue, often used copies are out there, and sometimes you can get materials through your counsellor or therapist.


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