# Asked out a girl and took a rejection well!



## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Hey everyone,

I'm letting everyone know that this is the second time I've asked out a girl (on purpose, hehe), and I got a rejection (she told me that she only saw me as a friend), and wasn't completely devastated by it!

It kind of helped in that I wasn't particularly attracted to her, but I'm really proud of how I didn't get all devastated because she didn't like me. I hope to do it again, and ask a new girl out at least once every three months until (hopefully) one day one of them says "yes"!

Go me! LOL

- Vince


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## EagerMinnow84 (Sep 1, 2007)

vicente said:


> Hey everyone,
> 
> I'm letting everyone know that this is the second time I've asked out a girl (on purpose, hehe), and I got a rejection (she told me that she only saw me as a friend), and wasn't completely devastated by it!
> 
> ...


Go you! :banana

It might have helped that you weren't particularly attracted to her. but it is still great nonetheless!

I kinda asked out a guy once in high school in letter form. He rejected me, but I took it well.

On purpose? Was there a time you asked out a girl accidently? It sounds like it could be an interesting story


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## sadguy (Aug 25, 2007)

I still haven't met one girl that I want to ask her out...


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## Kardax (Dec 29, 2004)

I have a great deal of experience with rejection :yes

It does get easier every time, although, it starts to get a little depressing after a long streak :stu

-Ryan


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

Kardax said:


> I have a great deal of experience with rejection :yes
> 
> It does get easier every time, although, it starts to get a little depressing after a long streak :stu
> 
> -Ryan


 :hug

Hey vicente,good job on the asking out part. Is she still friends afterward? Did she let you down gently or with a defiant "NO"? :lol Anyway, I hope you didn't feel too bad about it.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

Great job. The fact that you even asked her out is great  You're my hero :nw


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

i think that's great. a lot of people probably don't take rejection well, especially those with SA.


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## workinprogress87 (Dec 5, 2007)

Wow that's awesome 

Albert Ellis, the guy who came up with cognitive behavorial therapy, sort of did the same thing; he sat down on a bench one day in New York and asked out every single woman who sat down next to him until he wasn't afraid to anymore. Are there any benches in your area lol?


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

Wow. Amazing vicente. Congrats. You are a step beyond me with such courage.

Thanks for sharing this triumph.

Hope you are doing well.

Best wishes,
Gerard


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## redkit (Mar 14, 2006)

in my opinion, rejection is not a triumph but a failure.
if I were you, I would be depressed.


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## Maslow (Dec 24, 2003)

redkit said:


> in my opinion, rejection is not a triumph but a failure.
> if I were you, I would be depressed.


A lot of social anxiety is from fear of rejection. When you realize that it's not the end of the world if you're rejected, the next time -- in this case, asking someone out on a date -- will be easier and you'll be less anxious.


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## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

vicente said:


> Hey everyone,
> 
> I'm letting everyone know that this is the second time I've asked out a girl (on purpose, hehe), and I got a rejection (she told me that she only saw me as a friend), and wasn't completely devastated by it!
> 
> ...


Grats on taking it well. I remember one time when I asked my high school crush to prom. I took it quite hard. You can read about it in this sites magazine. Her rejection was so powerful to me it must have taken 3 whole episodes and no less than 6 flashbacks for her to power the rejection up. Cookie for the reference of course.


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## EagerMinnow84 (Sep 1, 2007)

Maslow said:


> redkit said:
> 
> 
> > in my opinion, rejection is not a triumph but a failure.
> ...


Well said. 

Rejections aren't a "triumph" but the way he handled it was very triumphant and a big big big big big step.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Wow thanks everyone for all the encouragement. I really needed it. I'm going through some rough times right now and what you all are saying are really helping me to stay sane. Qolselanu, thanks for sharing your experience.

Binh ngoc, unfortunately she's going off to Australia this month so I don't think I can maintain being friends with her. I haven't talked to her since.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

If you are doing shame-attacking exercises, rejections are most definitely a triumph! I don't think this was your intention (nor were you shamed, as that takes more than a polite decline), but it's nevertheless a triumph that you didn't let fear guide you into not asking her out.

If you never ask anyone out, you'll very likely never be in a relationship. I don't know if most guys here either don't know that, and/or have this hope that a relationship will simply fall on their lap.

In any case, you've done a great job. All you have to do now is repeat over and over until someone accepts. Don't let it discourage you! You can take it!


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

I'm terrified of rejection. I think that asking her out and not taking it really personally is courageous in my eyes. Keep out asking girls that you like. Eventually, one will like you back and say yes.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

My goal is to ask someone out at least once every 3 months.

Going for a 2% success rate, I'm predicting that someone will like me back in the year 2020, when I'm 34. By that time we'll both be desperate enough to get married after two weeks.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

That's a decent plan, vicente. If you can manage 2 or 2.5 month intervals, and/or if the success rate is 3-5%, it will be even sooner.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

ardrum said:


> That's a decent plan, vicente. If you can manage 2 or 2.5 month intervals, and/or if the success rate is 3-5%, it will be even sooner.


 :lol It's not that bad guys. There are probably plenty of girls out there who would dig us, we're just too scared to approach. Which makes me wish they would approach us...


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## crazyg (Jun 18, 2005)

srschirm said:


> ardrum said:
> 
> 
> > That's a decent plan, vicente. If you can manage 2 or 2.5 month intervals, and/or if the success rate is 3-5%, it will be even sooner.
> ...


Ha...I agree. Come on, I think the success rate would be higher than that. But, I guess it's good to estimate low and then not be disappointed. Heh....but, don't expect rejections every time. Let us know what happens!


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

<deleted>

No one gives a ****


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

crazyg said:


> srschirm said:
> 
> 
> > ardrum said:
> ...


While the success rate would be positive, it's really hard to pinpoint it any further. I think it seems rather high to think that 1 out of 20 women would potentially be interested in me though. That seems ridiculously generous. :lol :lol :lol

Of course, I'm just looking for friends, so perhaps the success rate wouldn't be so abysmally low as it would be for romantic relationships.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

Yay! Good that you took it well. Of course there will be many girls out there that WILL be interested in you.


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