# Losing friends: Bad Communication and Increasing Anger



## Amalta (Aug 23, 2014)

Hi, I've had social anxiety my entire life, but I somehow managed to make a few pretty good friends. I lost two of them recently, and it tore my life apart. It's one of those situations where I know I was the problem but I don't know what to do or how to deal with myself. I am 21, which I feel should be said because my situation sounds like something a child would do. 

I went camping with my two best friends and one friend's two parents in their camper. The night we got there was fine, but that evening I became very annoyed with one of my friends the one whose parents were there and ignored her the next day, wouldn't eat anything, and answered curtly once to her mother. I did thank her parents before I left but I was in all very rude and silent and didn't say goodbye to the friend I was mad at. I also glared at the friend, I was very very angry at her and snapped at both her and my other friend. My other friend drove me home that night a day after we arrived and I said I was sick but I doubt anyone believed that. It's been a month since that day and I talked to them for the first time, finding out unsurprisingly they both do not want to be friends with me anymore. I am sending a thank you present to her parents and an apology but I am overall very ashamed, and I don't really know what to do. I was always very nice to them in the past, but bad situations recently in my life have caused me to have severe anger problems, and now I am left with no friends at all besides two others that I am not very close with. I have no motivation at all for anything, I try very hard to get out of bed and draw or write or go for a walk but it is incredibly painful and I have to go back to sit down because I become exhausted. I know I am in the wrong, I was upset that both of my friends were put off my by that one instance because we have been friends for years but I definitely do understand, especially after writing everything down. 

I do not have hope for making new friendships as I am worried my anger will dive more of them away, and I feel so awful that my friends are done with me after that incident.


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## megsy00 (Nov 5, 2013)

I can relate to you. Not the same circumstances but I understand..


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## xyz.unknown (Oct 12, 2012)

I can relate too... I have been social anxious all my life but I managed to make friends in school, but none was close to me and I was comfortable with none of them but they were still friends... After leaving school I did'nt contact any of them because of my SA, they asked me out but I made excuses so they got tired and now no one talk to me, I have lost all the contact with them... They are still friends with each other... I have been living with no friends at all for three years...

It was my own mistake too and I accept it, I still feel bad... SA makes us do very selfish things... You should go back to them and talk things out if they are really that good friends they'll understand, just tell them how you felt and it was just anger controlling you... Is that anger a result of SA or is it something else causing it?


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## Amalta (Aug 23, 2014)

I understand, many people with social anxiety lose friends because we decline invitations to go out. I am very paranoid I guess is the right word that other people are being rude to me like talking to one friend and ignoring me but I'm afraid of articulating it because it sounds strange, it is my fault because I am quiet so they probably don't expect me to say anything. I think in the moment I can't help it when I get mad at someone it's seemingly impossible for me to not glare at them and ignore them. I tried talking to both friends but the one I glared at said she was disgusted with my behavior and chose not to be treated that way, she said she has been treated that way a lot, and so didn't want to talk to me any more. And the other one agrees with her. I lost my best and pretty much only good friend at school from this exact same type of anger situation just a few months ago. I want to go to counseling but I'm only at home another month and I don't want to take the time to go off-campus at my school for regular counseling.


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