# Going on third date :D



## Nessy

Was a bit nervous about meeting her again but I did and it went better then I could have hoped for, we talked for 1,5 hours with no awkward silences or anything. Then we watched a movie at the cinema (no during the movie though). 

We agreed to meet again but of course me being me I didnt do anything physical :/ Didnt even try to hold hands, was never in a "natural situation" for anything physical. I dont think so at least. 

And this bothers me alot, if I dont do something soon I bet she will loose interest  Even though we've only been out twice I actually like this girl so much that I'd be quite sad if she didnt want to see me anymore.

Not sure what we are going to do next time we meet but what should I do?

Should I tell her that she's the second girl I've ever been out with and that I've never even held hands with a girl?

Or will that probably send her running because I'm such a wimp? :/

So confused and dissapointed in myself right now, glad I'm seeing her again of course but how long will it last if I dont even dare to touch her? 


Also one thing I was curious about is compliments, I've only told her she had cool shoes (lame I know) but for some reason I'm afraid that if I compliment a girl I will show her that I'm interested and she will reject me. What should/could I do? :S


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## madsv

First of all congratulations on getting the third date with the girl. Good job!

Well you need to stop worrying. You worry about too many things. Try to think about this. You have had 2 dates with this girl so it is clearly she is interested, why should she decide to be on a third date with you, if she was not interested?

I dont think you should tell you have never hold hands with a girl. You could just say you dont have so much experience and you are a little nervous. I think that would be much better.

You say you dont dare to touch her. Why dont you dare it. What is it that you are affraid of? I have a feeling the thing you are affraid of is rejection becuase you think that you would do it wrong or beeing awkward. But just remember there is no right or wrong way to do things. As I said before, you have been on 2 dates already, so she is interested and you need to take some chances some times. 

Have you hugged yet tried to look into her eyes when you need it. Where the eyes "smiling" when you did it?


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## Dan iel

I reckon most women won't mind if your not physical, just hang out and become friends. Have fun with her, she won't lose interest because of that I'm sure.

I'm happy for you that it's going well so far. I doubt you should be worrying about it .

Hope it goes well for you!


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## peach123

Nessy said:


> Was a bit nervous about meeting her again but I did and it went better then I could have hoped for, we talked for 1,5 hours with no awkward silences or anything. Then we watched a movie at the cinema (no during the movie though).
> 
> We agreed to meet again but of course me being me I didnt do anything physical :/ Didnt even try to hold hands, was never in a "natural situation" for anything physical. I dont think so at least.
> 
> And this bothers me alot, if I dont do something soon I bet she will loose interest  Even though we've only been out twice I actually like this girl so much that I'd be quite sad if she didnt want to see me anymore.
> 
> Not sure what we are going to do next time we meet but what should I do?
> 
> Should I tell her that she's the second girl I've ever been out with and that I've never even held hands with a girl?
> 
> Or will that probably send her running because I'm such a wimp? :/
> 
> So confused and dissapointed in myself right now, glad I'm seeing her again of course but how long will it last if I dont even dare to touch her?
> 
> Also one thing I was curious about is compliments, I've only told her she had cool shoes (lame I know) but for some reason I'm afraid that if I compliment a girl I will show her that I'm interested and she will reject me. What should/could I do? :S


Congratulations on your dating experience! Don't tell her that you have never held hands with a girl or that she is the second girl that you have been out with, that might turn her off or scare her. Just go with the flow and enjoy the friendship that the two of you share. Take the time to get to know one another. The compliment about her shoes is good, that shows you appreciate the way she dresses in a positive way and that is good. Good luck!


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## josephisaverb

Dan iel said:


> I reckon most women won't mind if your not physical, just hang out and become friends. Have fun with her, she won't lose interest because of that I'm sure.


No man! If you go three dates without showing interest in her as more than friends, she'll wonder what's up - or even worse, you'll become "just friends".

Definitely do not tell her she's the second girl you've gone out with. If you are super nervous, and you want to hold her hand before any other intimacy does or does not occur, *be a gentleman!* Don't wait for the perfect time! The first opportunity you have (walking from the car to the cinema, for example) ask her if you can hold her hand. If she's interested in you (which she is), she'll think it's cute. You are going to be holding her hand through the whole movie if you do that 

Good luck brother!
Also, you are opening doors and such for her, right?


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## Jessie203

good job!!! dont tell her anything bout her being the second girl or w.e until you get serious... she doesnt need to know and she might start assuming things about why u havnt dated then u have to mention the SA and all that... too heavy lol.
p.s. you have a nice face if thats you in the avatar... chicks gonna be all over you!!! you will have many more dates to come haha


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## Nessy

I'm opening doors and paying for stuff so I'm being a gentleman The problem is as you said Madsv that I'm afraid of rejection. I think its going good so I dont want to ruin anything but if I dont do anything I will only end up as her friend and I'd like to be more then that.

Also yes its me in the picture so thanks for the compliment 

Small question, when is it appropriate to start talking about what you are looking for in a relationship and more personal stuff like that?


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## madsv

Nessy said:


> I'm opening doors and paying for stuff so I'm being a gentleman The problem is as you said Madsv that I'm afraid of rejection. I think its going good so I dont want to ruin anything but if I dont do anything I will only end up as her friend and I'd like to be more then that.
> 
> Also yes its me in the picture so thanks for the compliment
> 
> Small question, when is it appropriate to start talking about what you are looking for in a relationship and more personal stuff like that?


Good you are acting like a gentleman. Women tends to like that.

About the rejection. Yes most people are affraid of that but most people can also handle it. There will be a lot of times in life you will be rejected. But the thing is that, remember if you should get rejected by someone, it is not you who is the problem, not saying that the other one is the problem because that is too easy just to say that. It can be a million things that does it. What I think is that you shouldnt be affraid of her rejecting you. She clearly likes you and when you havent tried to do anything physical with her yet, then I am quite sure that she knows that you are nervous. But it is important that you dont try to pull yourself away from her, as it could make her feel that you are not interested or you are "affraid" of her.

Does it makes sense what I say?

About when things are approciate. Think it this way. There are no rules about when you should say things. Take it as it comes. This is just an idea. Try to ask her what do you like about me or something like that. This could maybe be a good starter to talk about what both likes in a relationship.

Have you been alone yet, like in her flat or in yours. Because getting like first kiss in a public place can be frigthing for some, so being alone can make it easier.


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## Nessy

Going to be just us two at her flat next date. Going to make food and watch a movie I think. Was thinking that I'd go for a kiss on her cheek when I meet and hug her, see how she reacts and if I think its the right moment then go for the kiss.


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## Silent Image

Since you're meeting up for a fourth time, I think it's a good sign that she might want a relationship.


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## caithiggs

I agree you're a good looking guy! I agree not to mention those insecurities you have just yet. Hold that info off for when you guys begin to get more intimately involved. It's the kind of thing you don't need to let someone know til you are really close with them. Insecurities are a turn off, but as long as you don't mention them there is lots of mystery. Girls dig mystery, so the less you say right now the more alluring it is.

Movies are the best time to make a move. I love it when a guy grabs my hand during a movie when I don't expect it. It's dark in the room and there is just that mystery about it. You don't have to say anything, just do it. Really I would just hold her hand, nothing else. Then, you can find out if she either keeps her hand there, pulls it away, or does something more! That's the best way to discover also how she's feeling. If she pulls away obviously she's not ready for anything more, is probably unsure. If she keeps it there, she may dig it, or may be unsure, but it's hard to tell. And if she maybe grabs your hand back, she's definitely into you.

Good luck!


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## mattlol

i read that when youre scared or watch a scary movie you release something in the brain that you release when you hug or kiss, touching her would probably feel more natural if you watched a scary movie when your at hers . 

this kind of smartness only comes with hours indoors with nothing to do! LOL!


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## Sophomore

Thats great dude! Even though I know you very little, I can't help but feel excited as it is a sign of hope for all of us! Keep up the good work!


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## crimsoncora

Omggg am sooo happy for you 

Women love sincere compliments, look at her and compliment her on something you sincerely find beautiful about her. 

As for the touching, i would say gently brush your hand against hers and slip your fingers in hers and hold tight and gently smile. As a girl i would say that would be romantic and not too much for second date 

Dont tell her she is second girl you been out with, dont focus on that just focus on being with her and enjoying her company.

Show her you like her dont be shy to take charge and make it known.

I wishhhh the bestest for you two!!! I love seeing people happy and conquering their fears 

NESSY FTW!!!!!!!!!


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## Nessy

Thank you all for the support <3  Been a great help to join this forum, really glad I found it.

Will try to "make a move" next time I see her and try to compliment her as well. She's cute and fun to be around so I really hope she wants to keep seeing me


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## Chakka

Nessy said:


> Thank you all for the support <3  Been a great help to join this forum, really glad I found it.
> 
> Will try to "make a move" next time I see her and try to compliment her as well. She's cute and fun to be around so I really hope she wants to keep seeing me


Dude well done, I think if you successfully execute a 3rd with someone then your pretty much sorted with her. 
Don't be worried about being physical, and don't tell her you've never held a girls hand before, it's not a big issue, in fact it's completely irrelevant and you should not mention it at all costs.
Next time your with her just do what feels natural, if you don't feel like kissing her then don't, it can wait, it's like when you've got chocolate and you don't feel like eating it even though your tempted, but if you save it for when you really need it you'll enjoy it so much more, and it's the same with you and her, if you rush it then it won't be as enjoyable as it would when the right situation arises. 
The main thing is you like being with her, and she likes being with you, and when your not with her you miss her and can't stop thinking about her. Then you know you've got yourself a great thing in your life, don't ruin it.


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## Nessy

Well I can stop thinking about her  But I'm looking forward to seeing her again  

Hope it goes well and like you said Chakka I guess if the third date goes well and we want to keep seeing eachother I guess we are somewhere between "just dating" and "being a couple". 

Kind of weird to think about because I didnt really think I would get a girlfriend in the near future. Had actually somewhat given up/started focusing on myself instead of looking for someone to date when she contacted me. Guess it is like they say that it happens when you least expect it.

Feel I'm in a good headspace also, have been for the two dates as well. I just think that if it goes well then thats awesome but if it doesnt then its no biggy, other fish in the sea. Maybe thats why it has turned out so well.

Would also like to add that another girl contacted me on a datingsite and seemed interested. Will admit that she was a little more attractive then the girl I'm seeing but I told her that if it didnt work out (which I both think and hope it will) I would contact her. 

Maybe thats why I'm more carefree as well since I got a "backup". Dont really like to think like that but if it helps me getting together with the girl I'm seeing now I won't complain. Guess its true as they say, when it rains it pours


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## rymo

Great job man. 

So, you've already gotten as much good advice as you probably need (since you seem to be a natural at this), but I'll just say that during the movie you should definitely put your arm around her or hold her hand, and then eventually go for the kiss when it feels right. Just don't overthink it because then you'll get too nervous, and know that the girl definitely thinks you are a gentleman at this point and will feel safe with you starting to get more physical.

As for complimenting, don't overdo it bc that will seem desperate, but a few sincere and unique compliments can go along way. And about talking about your SA and lack of experience, definitely don't mention them (at least not yet), because, well, there's just no need to do so. Save that super deep and personal stuff for much later. I've been going out with my first gf for about 2.5 weeks now and I haven't even asked her about her past relationships because I don't want her to ask me back, and at this point we are having too much fun to care about all that. I also haven't asked her what she wants in this relationship, because that will force her to define what we have...to contain it in a little box that we have to conform to. It's about the journey not the destination /cliche


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## Nessy

All the help is much appreciated  Curious though, when should one bring up the "what are we/where are we going" thing? Or isn't it necessary as long as you keep on dating?


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## josephisaverb

Nessy said:


> All the help is much appreciated  Curious though, when should one bring up the "what are we/where are we going" thing? Or isn't it necessary as long as you keep on dating?


Don'teven think about things like this right now. Enjoy what you have going, don't worry about the future. You will know when it is time to talk about this kind of stuff. Go out and have fun!


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## Briisthebest

Sorry bro i posted on the second date did not see this one.


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## Nessy

Was thinking about making her an origami flower, would this be silly/too soon? Its not timeconsuming or a big thing or anything, I just like making them and figured it could be a cute gift


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## Nessy

Okey, wont ask if she wants to be exclusive or anything just yet then  Really appreciate all the help on this forum, seeing as I lack experience in the dating business due to SA its nice to get pointers from you guys


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## madsv

Nessy said:


> Okey, wont ask if she wants to be exclusive or anything just yet then  Really appreciate all the help on this forum, seeing as I lack experience in the dating business due to SA its nice to get pointers from you guys


I am sure everyone here is glad if they can help you


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