# I have no friends because im boring



## nightsbyfrankocean

Im so uncomfortable with myself so i can never be myself.. Whenever im talking to someone in school or whatever and im being so ****ing awkward (which happens multiple times a day) in my head im always like 'this isnt me'. But i dont even know what my personality is but ive just come to realize that im bland and boring. Everone sees me as quiet and awkward so im pretty sure no one would want to be friends with me. I know i need to be more confident and like who i am more in order to be myself but the problem is, i struggle to do so, i dont have anything to like about me. I can never connect with people and have a thiughtful conversation because there is nothing in my head. I have nothing to say and i have no stories. I cant imagine myself having friends anymore. This whole perception of myself is so frustrating and unpleasant i wish i could be someone else.

Whenever i talk to someone they always say quirky things and they have so much knowledge making them interesting and unique, and i really wish i had that about myself. Ive been in this situation for like 3 years and i feel so pathetic. It seems like evryone has at least one close friend. Everyone is always texting people, i have no one. When ever people mention their friends or when people say something about "my friends" ( like my sister tells me to "just go to the movies with your friends" instead of with her) im reminded of how holllow i am inside.


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## bucksfan

Wow you literally described my exact situation man. Just letting you know that you do actually have a personality and probably have good stories but you're anxiety gives you a blank mind when encountering people. It sucks I know man. No one really understands it. People think I come off as a d - bag cuz I seem like I don't want to talk to them but it's actually cause my mind is blank. I suggest hypnotherapy or just telling yourself everyday that you're the man, because once your confidence rises, your black mind will begin to go away. It's a long and annoying process, it sucks man.. but there is an answer.


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## 559633

The fact that i am boring has something to do with not being sble to get rid of obsessive thoughts. Like i have only limited number of thought patterns that are flowing round the circle in my brain. The same every single day. It seems other people can fresh thought. But i ca not. This is the most frustrating thing.


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## 559633

*can have


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## nightsbyfrankocean

bucksfan said:


> Wow you literally described my exact situation man. Just letting you know that you do actually have a personality and probably have good stories but you're anxiety gives you a blank mind when encountering people. It sucks I know man. No one really understands it. People think I come off as a d - bag cuz I seem like I don't want to talk to them but it's actually cause my mind is blank. I suggest hypnotherapy or just telling yourself everyday that you're the man, because once your confidence rises, your black mind will begin to go away. It's a long and annoying process, it sucks man.. but there is an answer.


thank you  i think i am going to try to build up my confidence.


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## nightsbyfrankocean

maque said:


> The fact that i am boring has something to do with not being sble to get rid of obsessive thoughts. Like i have only limited number of thought patterns that are flowing round the circle in my brain. The same every single day. It seems other people can fresh thought. But i ca not. This is the most frustrating thing.


YES, you put my thoughts in a perfect way, i feel exactly the same. Like i cannot relax most of the time because of my obsessive thoughts


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## razmx123

same thing.. i came to the us 3 years ago and ever since i came only 1 person invited me to his house 1 time i invited him back 1 time and we just stopped talking no one care about me... in my home country i have friends but not in the us... i dont know how to socialize with them i dont know what to say i dont know how to do anything.... i just sit in class i dont talk to ANYONE in lunch i sit with bunch of people but they never really invite me after school.... its so angry the ignorant of the people here like wtf? am i suppose to be the one who do all the talking? can't they just invite me 1 time to hang out or to a party before they decide that they will never hang out with me?


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## tonyhd71

maque said:


> The fact that i am boring has something to do with not being sble to get rid of obsessive thoughts. Like i have only limited number of thought patterns that are flowing round the circle in my brain. The same every single day. It seems other people can fresh thought. But i ca not. This is the most frustrating thing.


I can definitely relate to this. I have so many things I obsess about in my thoughts, that I can't put them aside when talking to someone. I focus more on my thoughts than on trying to communicate. I can't set aside my thoughts for a minute and focus on something, my thoughts take over my mind and centralize me. They distract me and I can't push them away.

It really shows at work. I'm so goofy and act slow, because I never follow what someone says the first time they say it because I'm lost in my mind. I live in my own world.


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## BlueNothing

You made this post and composed all the words together so you do have thoughts. You're comparing your mind to other people's minds, when it is impossible to truly understand another person's thought process. Unless you're a telepath, you'll never be able to accurately compare your brain and someone else's. I think it's opening yourself in regards to communication you're struggling with. I struggle with this too, I have yet to meet someone in real life I can really connect with and have a platonic mutual friendship with. Occasionally I'll crack a joke people laugh at, but that's it. I can't entertain people further than that. It hurts when it feels like nobody is interested, and I feel like nobody I meet WILL be interested in the future. I don't want to accept a friendless life, but it appears like this is all I got.
Everyone has a different perception of what is interesting to them. That's why people have different hobbies. I think what you should focus on is an interest of your's that excites you. When you develop a passion for a certain interest, you become more knowledgable in it and therefore it'll make you more interesting. Even that interest is considered "weird", it's good to pursue. If you can't think of anything maybe now is the time to experiment. Recently I started going to a yoga class once a week, and I'm starting to really love it. Don't worry about talking about events with friends when you have nobody to hang out with, I think talking about ideas or things that you read about are just as good if not better. If people's eyes seem to glaze over and they stop listening to you, then they're jerks and don't deserve your time.


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## visualkeirockstar

Same here.


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## ShadowOnTheWall

Well its why I recomend clubs and hobby groups, but people generally find themselves intresting, so just talk about stuff that intrests them and try to find common ground


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## SilentLyric

yeah this contributes to my issue of making friends as well.


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## Blue Dino

Fun and Shady > Boring and Nice. 

That seems to have been my theme with friends for the past several months.


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## SilentLyric

Blue Dino said:


> Fun and Shady > Boring and Nice.
> 
> That seems to have been my theme with friends for the past several months.


well if that's the trick, then I'm better off without friends.


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## Blue Dino

SilentLuke said:


> well if that's the trick, then I'm better off without friends.


More like better off without ungenuine friends, which I have began to realize majority of my long time friends are.. Still have 1 or 2 genuine friends which I am grateful for.


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## SilentLyric

Blue Dino said:


> More like better off without ungenuine friends, which I have began to realize majority of my long time friends are.. Still have 1 or 2 genuine friends which I am grateful for.


I've come to that realization, too. For different reasons for each of them.

Glad you have genuine friends. Those are apparently not very common!


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## Blue Dino

SilentLuke said:


> I've come to that realization, too. For different reasons for each of them.
> 
> Glad you have genuine friends. Those are apparently not very common!


Hard to come by indeed. What irks me a lot, those same ungenuine friends, are actually very genuine to our other mutual friends from what I have observed numerous times. So that really made me question often that there must be something genuinely wrong with me. :sus

But through the years, I just come to accept they don't really like me, despite still hanging with them time to time, and just rolled with it, as I began treating them not as nice, and sincere anymore.


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## Batcat

Hobbies are your friends.


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## Beben15

I have a problem about friendship. It's hard to get close with someone because i have social phobia. Could i cure it without medicine? please help


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## GGTFM

You are me. Funny thing is I thought the same way but as time went on and I began to learn more about myself I began to realise im not as lifeless as I think. You should look back at your life as far as you can remember and try to memorize everything. Maybe you are maybe you're not lifeless, but I think it's just that you're different from everyone else you know and as a result you have no one to relate to.


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## GGTFM

BlueNothing said:


> You made this post and composed all the words together so you do have thoughts. You're comparing your mind to other people's minds, when it is impossible to truly understand another person's thought process. Unless you're a telepath, you'll never be able to accurately compare your brain and someone else's. I think it's opening yourself in regards to communication you're struggling with. I struggle with this too, I have yet to meet someone in real life I can really connect with and have a platonic mutual friendship with. Occasionally I'll crack a joke people laugh at, but that's it. I can't entertain people further than that. It hurts when it feels like nobody is interested, and I feel like nobody I meet WILL be interested in the future. I don't want to accept a friendless life, but it appears like this is all I got.
> Everyone has a different perception of what is interesting to them. That's why people have different hobbies. I think what you should focus on is an interest of your's that excites you. When you develop a passion for a certain interest, you become more knowledgable in it and therefore it'll make you more interesting. Even that interest is considered "weird", it's good to pursue. If you can't think of anything maybe now is the time to experiment. Recently I started going to a yoga class once a week, and I'm starting to really love it. Don't worry about talking about events with friends when you have nobody to hang out with, I think talking about ideas or things that you read about are just as good if not better. If people's eyes seem to glaze over and they stop listening to you, then they're jerks and don't deserve your time.


Sherlock Holmes could.


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## Nothing123

Hey, you can be my friend. You have good taste in music if you like vampire weekend ^.^


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## nightsbyfrankocean

razmx123 said:


> same thing.. i came to the us 3 years ago and ever since i came only 1 person invited me to his house 1 time i invited him back 1 time and we just stopped talking no one care about me... in my home country i have friends but not in the us... i dont know how to socialize with them i dont know what to say i dont know how to do anything.... i just sit in class i dont talk to ANYONE in lunch i sit with bunch of people but they never really invite me after school.... its so angry the ignorant of the people here like wtf? am i suppose to be the one who do all the talking? can't they just invite me 1 time to hang out or to a party before they decide that they will never hang out with me?


I'm sure things will look up just stay positive, focus on your interests and be yourself around people us know. That's something I'm trying to do anyway. But what's cool about you is that you're from another country which is really interesting you probably have stories and stuff about your life there


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## nightsbyfrankocean

BlueNothing said:


> You made this post and composed all the words together so you do have thoughts. You're comparing your mind to other people's minds, when it is impossible to truly understand another person's thought process. Unless you're a telepath, you'll never be able to accurately compare your brain and someone else's. I think it's opening yourself in regards to communication you're struggling with. I struggle with this too, I have yet to meet someone in real life I can really connect with and have a platonic mutual friendship with. Occasionally I'll crack a joke people laugh at, but that's it. I can't entertain people further than that. It hurts when it feels like nobody is interested, and I feel like nobody I meet WILL be interested in the future. I don't want to accept a friendless life, but it appears like this is all I got.
> Everyone has a different perception of what is interesting to them. That's why people have different hobbies. I think what you should focus on is an interest of your's that excites you. When you develop a passion for a certain interest, you become more knowledgable in it and therefore it'll make you more interesting. Even that interest is considered "weird", it's good to pursue. If you can't think of anything maybe now is the time to experiment. Recently I started going to a yoga class once a week, and I'm starting to really love it. Don't worry about talking about events with friends when you have nobody to hang out with, I think talking about ideas or things that you read about are just as good if not better. If people's eyes seem to glaze over and they stop listening to you, then they're jerks and don't deserve your time.


I really appreciate this post, thanks for writing it! It really made me feel better. I think I will focus on interests, and it's pretty cool that you're into yoga!


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## twitchy666

end of day

end of life


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## Dreamingdreams

same here...look at all the replies, you are definitely not alone.... i struggle with the same thing too, but just remember that its all in your head, its your mind going against you. everyone, including you, is unique and has a whole world inside of them, and has a unique personality. sometimes its just harder to express for people like us bc we feel like everything inside of us is bland and stupid and worthless. think of the times where you were comfortable and could express yourself freely without caring...that part of you never goes away, its just kinda blocked by anxiety....today i was tagging along with these people at this camp thing, and i felt so alone and depressed and i just kept quiet bc i felt like everyone would think i was boring if i were to say anything...and its just like this heavy feeling in your throat, like this poison that you can feel, thats just so debilitating and takes so much energy out of you. but just remember that the "free" part of you is still inside of you...i guess you just need to gradually find who you are and accept it, until you don't care about what anyone thinks, and then finally you can express yourself freely...it takes time though, but just thinking about accepting yourself is a huge step in itself


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## andreamartinez

You can have friends through online community. I don't think its because you're boring, you don't have friends. If you can't express your thoughts through face to face encounters. You can still have friends. You can connect with online community or forum. People are unique, people can't express themselves in verbal communication but in written communication, you'll surely can reach out to millions. Members here can be your friends.


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