# 23 year old girl with a 19 year old guy?



## Snow Bunny (Jan 28, 2009)

So me and my best friend went out for my birthday this weekend. We met these three guys who were dancing near us and after belting out some cheesy 80s songs and generally having a laugh, we got talking. There was a mutual attraction thing going on between me and one of them which is what drew our two groups together in the first place. And after talking a bit and singing eye of the tiger all loudly and out of tune, we seemed to have a lot in common. Anyway he told me his age was 18 and he was 19 in 2 weeks. After that we pretty much established that was that and I told him I wished he was older, but our group stuck together anyway and we generally had a fun time.
The morning after me and my friend were joking about how it's weird that we hung out with a bunch of 18 year olds last night.
But we've been debating ever since then. IS it ok for a 23 year old to date an 18/19 year old? At the time I didn't even entertain the idea and dismissed the possibility of anything ever happening. But actually.....is it weird or not? We're genuinely stumped. 
Do you think it's weird or not quite right? And would you do it?


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## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

It's 4 years no big deal.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

I don't think there's anything weird about it or wrong with it. You're both adults. Yeah, some people attach a stigma to the whole older women dating younger men thing, but you shouldn't let that get to you. Personally, I never find myself attracted to men under 22, but that's just my personal preference.


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

Of course it's okay. Being 4 years apart means different things at different ages. I mean, a 34 year old man/woman is _more likely_ to be at the same stage of life as a 30 year old man/woman, but still not guaranteed. So while being 23, you might be at a different life stage than an 19 year old, you also might not be...you might be perfect for each other, right now. 
The only way to find out is to go out and spend time together.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Noone would even question it if you were a guy and he was a girl.


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

Those ages are close enough in my book. If you like him, why question it?


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

Yeah you can date. It wouldn't be that weird. It just depends. For me I don't think I would date a 19 year old. I usually go older or my age.


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## lonelyjew (Jan 20, 2010)

My fiance is almost 9 years older than I am, and we have a fantastic relationship. Age difference doesn't matter if you both connect very well, and are looking for the same thing in life.


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

lonelyjew said:


> My fiance is almost 9 years older than I am, and we have a fantastic relationship. Age difference doesn't matter if you both connect very well, and are looking for the same thing in life.


graz


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## BrookeHannigan (Mar 29, 2012)

Lol i doubt anyone would care for just 4 years
Or that your both at a diff stage in life its 4 years for crying outloud
Its the 21st century older girls and younger boys arent taboo anymore
Atleast in my area i know quite a few of them
Unless its a 80 year old with a 30 year old which the other way around is a taboo as well


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

The only reason why I wouldn't like the idea of dating someone under 21 is because it would be hard to hang out with him and my friends since we usually go to bars. If I lived in the UK I'd date anyone of legal age. And I was just recently crushing on an 18 year-old, so I promise I'm not being a hypocrite here (I'm also 23).

You wouldn't even be thinking twice if you were 19 and him 23, so what's the difference if you're older? It's only four years, and if you were having a good time with him, why would you let something as trivial as his age decide whether or not you'd go out with him?


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

date who you are attracted to; that's all that matters. just try not to break the law obviously because that's a no-no:b

age is becoming less and less important to me. however, i am finding i have a hard time connecting with immature girls........ i thought i'd never say that....... girls who care about what they saw on mtv or superficial **** only is a major turn off. i want a woman with some depth


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

My mom was 7 years older than my dad. She was 33 when I was born and he was 26.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

^And for some extra support, my mom is 9 years older than my step-dad.


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## The Professor (Jul 31, 2011)

Definitely okay. What type of thing are you looking for though?



komorikun said:


> My mom was 7 years older than my dad. She was 33 when I was born and he was 26.


pics!


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

If you're comfortable with it then there is nothing wrong with it.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Oh, and my mom is 9 years older than my dad. :yes


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

i think my mom is 5 or more years older than my dad


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## Whatev (Feb 6, 2012)

As long as the two flow well together then it shouldn't matter.


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

man... date who ever u want to date and fvck those who judge you... #realnigguhtalk lol
(sorry i just had to say that, but really theres no problem with dating someone your a little older than)


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## lightningstorm (Oct 10, 2012)

Age is a number. What matters is the fact you like him. So what he is younger than you. You liked him for what he is and not for his age. So, why should his age disqualify him from dating you? Why should you even disqualify him from gettingn to know him more? He might be the coolest boyfreind you ever had.


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## Snow Bunny (Jan 28, 2009)

Oh, well in that case...woops? Maybe I missed out on something there. :/
I think what made it worse was that his sister's 25 and she kept coming up to us and ruffling his hair and stuff. I kinda felt like a cradle robber robbing her baby brother!


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

Snow Bunny said:


> Oh, well in that case...woops? Maybe I missed out on something there. :/
> I think what made it worse was that his sister's 25 and she kept coming up to us and ruffling his hair and stuff. I kinda felt like a cradle robber robbing her baby brother!


He'll always be her baby brother. 

You didn't get his number/give your number? If you had fun, you should go out. That's how you'll learn about him, his maturity level, etc.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

that means when she was 18 she was into 14 year olds, weird


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## TryingMara (Mar 25, 2012)

4 years is nothing, imo.


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

MobiusX said:


> that means when she was 18 she was into 14 year olds, weird


Not sure if sarcasm.


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

MobiusX said:


> that means when she was 18 she was into 14 year olds, weird


When your younger it is different, you are developing much faster when you are a child or teenager than when you are an adult.

A 20 year old with a 10 year old is really creepy for instance, but a 40 year old with a 50 year old isn't really.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

probably offline said:


> Noone would even question it if you were a guy and he was a girl.


Exactly. So it's not weird for it to be an older woman with a younger guy.


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## mysterioussoul (Jul 17, 2010)

I didn't read your whole post but how is his maturity level compared to yours? And just as long as you two connect and both respect each other than the age gap will not be a problem.


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## FeelNothing (Sep 25, 2012)

It shouldn't matter. It's only a number.


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## Unkn0wn Pleasures (Nov 24, 2011)

I don't think it's wierd. I'm 19 and my partner's 24. :um


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Yeah, 4 years isn't much. You're fine.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Cam1 said:


> If you're comfortable with it then there is nothing wrong with it.


There's also the legal question. Since he is 19, it would be okay. Any younger and the questions start rising.


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## missfoxymoon (Dec 21, 2012)

if you like him,and if he likes you, date him! as long as you and him both connect on a good level! 4 years is nothing


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Age doesn't matter to me. Maturity comes into play at a certain point, but the age itself makes no difference to me.


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## Fenren (Sep 20, 2009)

Lots of late 30s or 40s cougars go after 19 year guys all the time, wouldn't worry that you're only a few years older really!


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## dragongirl (Apr 6, 2011)

i don't think it's weird i'm 24 and i'm in an online relationship with a 19 year old


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## Timbolin (Oct 27, 2012)

no its fine. who cares?


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## Snow Bunny (Jan 28, 2009)

dragongirl said:


> i don't think it's weird i'm 24 and i'm in an online relationship with a 19 year old


Did you think it was weird to begin with or were you always not bothered about the age difference?
I can't believe how I wrote it off immediately though and it's only now that I'm questioning whether actually it is ok.

I have him on facebook and after a bit of stalkage, it seems he's pretty much me in guy form. And I'm quite sure I'm below him in maturity.

So...I should like talk to him?


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## Timbolin (Oct 27, 2012)

MobiusX said:


> that means when she was 18 she was into 14 year olds, weird


by that logic when she was 3 she was into '-1' year olds

once you're over the sexual boundary of around 18, you're basically an adult and adults get attracted to adults. personality and common-ground are what usually keep people of differing ages apart.


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## Hamtown (Jun 10, 2010)

My girlfriend is 31, i am 20. Been together a year and half. Of course i didn't know her age until someone accidently slipped it 4 months later. You're doing well :b


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## Snow Bunny (Jan 28, 2009)

Hamtown said:


> My girlfriend is 31, i am 20. Been together a year and half. Of course i didn't know her age until someone accidently slipped it 4 months later. You're doing well :b


4 months?


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## elvin jones (Dec 12, 2011)

Fenren said:


> Lots of late 30s or 40s cougars go after 19 year guys all the time, wouldn't worry that you're only a few years older really!


That's pretty disgusting. No 40 year olds should be going after teenagers.


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## John316C (May 1, 2011)

if you have to ask for someone else's approval to date someone you like you have a confidence problem and you lack general knowledge. the knowledge that age is just a number, it has more to do with compatibility at the time or the near future.

You may remember younger girls are sometimes married off or _encouraged_ to go with someone much older by their families whether she doesn't want to or_ she does want to._

by the time you are skillful enough to date that is when YOU decide to date _whomever_ you want. that has to do with how well your parents have raised you to understand the opposite sex, dating rituals, behaviors and dangers. Age is not the primary factor it's a _consideration_. 40 year olds frequently date 20 year olds. Older people frequently date younger people and younger people CONSENT based on their FREEDOMS. As for younger than 18. Again that's just a number - 18 exists as a rule to generally protect younger because no one can see how mature people are and no one can watch everyone. Look into human history and you'l see that women have willfully wanted and consented for SEX and RELATIONSHIPS with much older people, why? because there was never a rule! Its natural as nature intended.

If you take 2 men one 40 and another 18 or younger and you introduced them to a girl they both like. Both of these males can seduce the girl and those girls also MAY on their own accord choose to give in. Lots of -18 people have sex with -18 people.

You may also take a male and a female of either 18 or 18+. Either whether reversed or not... one may be very mature about dating rituals or not. Girls frequently reject older guys and older guys frequently reject younger girls... based on maturity, not age.


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## Paragon (Apr 13, 2010)

Eh, if you get on, yeah, sure, why not. Some guy I used to work with was in a relationship with a 10 year age gap.

I do kind of get what you mean though, in that situation it can feel a bit weird. Ended up in a similar situation outside a club talking to an 18 year old girl when I was 24 (I think?) and I felt like we were getting on really well, but like you said.. a bit weird when I found out her age. Although most guys I'm sure would not complain! lol. Didn't get her number of course... too anxious to ask her.

Kinda regret that, felt like she was actually into me... although the negative thinking likes to kick in and tell me that she probably just thought I was a creepy old(er) guy! :/



Snow Bunny said:


> Did you think it was weird to begin with or were you always not bothered about the age difference?
> I can't believe how I wrote it off immediately though and it's only now that I'm questioning whether actually it is ok.
> 
> I have him on facebook and after a bit of stalkage, it seems he's pretty much me in guy form. And I'm quite sure I'm below him in maturity.
> ...


Yeahhhh... do it! 
(if it all goes wrong I take no responsibility  but hey it could turn out well?  )

Also, random edit: Oh god I suddenly feel like I'm getting old. Arghh, lol.


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

Paragon said:


> I do kind of get what you mean though, in that situation it can feel a bit weird. Ended up in a similar situation outside a club talking to an 18 year old girl when I was 24 (I think?) and I felt like we were getting on really well, but like you said.. a bit weird when I found out her age. Although most guys I'm sure would not complain! lol. Didn't get her number of course... too anxious to ask her.


That's a shame, but I can relate in a way. Even at 20, I'd feel awkward dating a 18 year old.

Anywho, hope it works out for you OP.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

I went on date with a girl that was 25 when I was 21. I don't think it's that weird.


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## elvin jones (Dec 12, 2011)

ThatOneQuietGuy said:


> I went on date with a girl that was 25 when I was 21. I don't think it's that weird.


You ****.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

elvin jones said:


> You ****.


I know, I'm such a bad girl


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## elvin jones (Dec 12, 2011)

ThatOneQuietGuy said:


> I know, I'm such a bad girl


Nice, tell me more.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

elvin jones said:


> Nice, tell me more.


You gotta earn it big boy :whip


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## elvin jones (Dec 12, 2011)

ThatOneQuietGuy said:


> You gotta earn in big boy :whip


You little tease. I have ways to make you talk. 8)


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

elvin jones said:


> You little tease. I have ways to make you talk. 8)


I can be a bit slippery and hard to catch  What's you method of making me talk?


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## elvin jones (Dec 12, 2011)

ThatOneQuietGuy said:


> I can be a bit slippery and hard to catch  What's you method of making me talk?


Good, I like it wet and slippery. Lets just say it involves rope and hot wax. I am into a bunch of really kinky stuff.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

elvin jones said:


> Good, I like it wet and slippery. Lets just say it involves rope and hot wax. I am into a bunch of really kinky stuff.


Oooh, your turning me into a wet mess. Tell me more you silver tongued devil :twisted


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## coloredcreative (Jul 1, 2010)

It really doesn't matter. When you turn 30, you wouldn't even care anymore, lol. I'm currently dating a guy that is 3 years younger. I don't see why you shouldn't be with someone if you love him/her and if it feels right between you two.


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## UndreamingAwake (Apr 11, 2011)

Hamtown said:


> My girlfriend is 31, i am 20. Been together a year and half. Of course i didn't know her age until someone accidently slipped it 4 months later. You're doing well :b


Nice. People should really stop thinking it's weird if the woman is older than the man. As others mentioned, no one cares when the guy is older.


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## FeelNothing (Sep 25, 2012)

I like older women!


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## Wacky Wednesdays (Apr 10, 2011)

Holy moly this was the exact situation I was in last year !! Met an 18 year old through work. He was a month short of turning 19. We dated for a couple of months. He turned out to be a complete douche, was seeing another girl at the same time. So arrogant and immature...

Not to hate on all teens out there but I find they're just not on the same wavelength - on a relationship level.


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## thisismeyo (Feb 15, 2013)

Nothjng wrong with that. Just remember, guys brains fully develope later than girls ahaha, but if u can see he fits well with u theres nothing wrong with thst


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## forex (Dec 29, 2010)

probably offline said:


> Noone would even question it if you were a guy and he was a girl.


+1


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