# Asked a girl out



## baseballdude (May 23, 2010)

I asked a girl that I have had a crush on for the last few months out to coffee this morning. She said yes! :boogieWe are meeting tomorrow at 3:00 PM at the on-campus coffee shop. I'm super amped right now! 

The only thing I am worried about is that she will think it is just a friendly encounter. But I am just going to focus on the positives. I asked her, she said yes, so it is time to celebrate! :clap

EDIT (1/14/2012): Please read my last post in this thread for an update.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Wooooooo that is awesome! Congrats


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## Jimbow1995 (Jul 27, 2010)

Well done, Tell us how it goes!


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Nice work! Have a nice time!


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## mike285 (Aug 21, 2010)

That's great! Congrats!


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## alwaysmistaken (Aug 25, 2011)

Thats awesome and its always good to focus on the positives! have fun


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## Shakyamuni (Dec 8, 2011)

Nicely done! And good luck with tomorrow.


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## gilt (Jan 7, 2010)

Good for you, baseballdude! Have a good time.


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## idiotboy (Sep 30, 2011)

good job, baseballdude! i've had those things end up just being 'friendly encounters' before, so if it does, don't sweat it - the important thing is you had the brass to ask her in the first place with YOU treating it as though you were asking her out on a date. that means you'll be more ready to ask her (or anyone else) out on a date in the future if needs be.


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## Shakyamuni (Dec 8, 2011)

So, how did it go?


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## baseballdude (May 23, 2010)

Hey guys, my date went really well!  We went to Starbucks instead and talked for about 2 hours. The first 20 minutes were a little awkward but that is to be expected on a first date. After that we both settled down and had a normal, natural conversation. Looks like there may be a second date in the works as well. 

It was also good knowing that she knew it was a date, as I paid for her coffee and the overall vibe just felt like a date.


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## Shakyamuni (Dec 8, 2011)

baseballdude said:


> Hey guys, my date went really well!  We went to Starbucks instead and talked for about 2 hours. The first 20 minutes were a little awkward but that is to be expected on a first date. After that we both settled down and had a normal, natural conversation. Looks like there may be a second date in the works as well.
> 
> It was also good knowing that she knew it was a date, as I paid for her coffee and the overall vibe just felt like a date.


Sweet! Congratulations! I'm pretty sure she would also think it was date. If it still seems unclear later, then by the third date you should probably verbally let her know your intentions or ask what she thinks about this relationship, etc - something along those lines to clarify it if you haven't already kissed or more by then. Good luck with your future endeavors, man!


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## eppe (Apr 14, 2011)

\o/


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## Aviator (Apr 1, 2009)

Nice job! I hope it all works out well for you.


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## jpb (Dec 12, 2011)

Nicely done! Two hours is a good sign.


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

baseballdude said:


> I asked a girl that I have had a crush on for the last few months out to coffee this morning. She said yes! :boogieWe are meeting tomorrow at 3:00 PM at the on-campus coffee shop. I'm super amped right now!
> 
> The only thing I am worried about is that she will think it is just a friendly encounter. But I am just going to focus on the positives. I asked her, she said yes, so it is time to celebrate! :clap


Why would she think that, when its clearly a date


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## baseballdude (May 23, 2010)

Just giving you guys an update. I asked her to a second date today and she agreed to that as well. We will be checking out a hotel (not staying there!!!) that has an amazing Christmas light display and going to get boba tea on Thursday night. This will be the last date for about 3 weeks because Christmas break is going to start at the end of the week. She lives in Indiana and I live in San Diego so I won't be able to see her at all, which is somewhat of a bummer. However, things seem to still be progressing well!


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## JudgeDreddlikescookies (Dec 13, 2011)

nicely done


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## DazdNConfuzd (Jul 11, 2011)

Good stuff dude, hope it works out for ya


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

baseballdude said:


> Hey guys, my date went really well!  We went to Starbucks instead and talked for about 2 hours. The first 20 minutes were a little awkward but that is to be expected on a first date. After that we both settled down and had a normal, natural conversation. Looks like there may be a second date in the works as well.
> 
> It was also good knowing that she knew it was a date, as I paid for her coffee and the overall vibe just felt like a date.


make sure she pays next time just to make it fair.


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## baseballdude (May 23, 2010)

^What? Traditionally as the man I should be paying and I plan on paying for her the next time we go out.


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

Good work dude, here's to many more!


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## StayingMotivated (Sep 5, 2011)

baseballdude said:


> ^What? Traditionally as the man I should be paying and I plan on paying for her the next time we go out.


girls may say "equal this equal that" but deep down most women like traditional men.

if any man wouldn't pay for my coffee(o wow a whole 5 bucks MAX) even on the second date. that would be the last date LOL.


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## Blawnka (Dec 12, 2011)

baseballdude said:


> Hey guys, my date went really well!  We went to Starbucks instead and talked for about 2 hours. The first 20 minutes were a little awkward but that is to be expected on a first date. After that we both settled down and had a normal, natural conversation. Looks like there may be a second date in the works as well.
> 
> It was also good knowing that she knew it was a date, as I paid for her coffee and the overall vibe just felt like a date.


That's awesome, I'm happy for you, hopefully you can go on that second date. I've never been able to ask a girl out.


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## Humir (Oct 15, 2011)

baseballdude said:


> I asked a girl that I have had a crush on for the last few months out to coffee this morning. She said yes! :boogieWe are meeting tomorrow at 3:00 PM at the on-campus coffee shop. I'm super amped right now!
> 
> The only thing I am worried about is that she will think it is just a friendly encounter. But I am just going to focus on the positives. I asked her, she said yes, so it is time to celebrate! :clap


That's awesome man. Have fun. Good luck!


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## baseballdude (May 23, 2010)

I'm picking her up in about 20 minutes. Wish me luck!


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## ImWeird (Apr 26, 2010)

Awesome! Let us know how it goes.


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## semiserious (Jan 8, 2009)

Awesome. If you're paying, she should definitely realize it's a date.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Great job, dude!


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## JudgeDreddlikescookies (Dec 13, 2011)

awesome


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## baseballdude (May 23, 2010)

Alright, so the night went good, I think. The problem with me is that I have a hard time letting a girl know that I am interested in her. This can be by playfully touching her or flirting with her. I did not do much of either of these things last night. Don't get me wrong, we were talking for a good hour and a half just walking around the hotel, and we were talking a lot in the car there and back. I took her to see a movie as well but there was no physical contact there at all. When I took her back to her apartment, I was debating whether to go for the kiss or not, but I decided too late and just went for a hug instead. I am hoping she does not see me as some p***y who is too afraid to touch her.

I'm kind of disappointed with myself for not being more upfront, but I need to stay positive. This was only our second date, and I do not think either of us were ready for much physical activity. I loved being able to just walk around in the cold with her and just talk. She looked so beautiful under all those christmas lights. It was another good "get to know you" kind of date. Maybe next time we can start taking it to the next level. 

Overall, I had a good time, and I believe she did too. There is just that nagging thought in my brain that I was too "love-shy" but I always tend to think negatively so I am not going to let those thoughts bother me. I won't be able to see her for another three weeks because we are both on Christmas break from school and she lives halfway across the country. That's a bummer. I'll stop thinking out loud for now...


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## anthrotex (Oct 24, 2011)

Don't psych yourself out! Everyone goes at their own pace. A hug was a good move. It sounds like the two of you are getting along. Now just make sure to keep in contact during the three weeks. It's a great opportunity to get to know her without the pressure of "showing her a good time" and all that.


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## Voidstarlit (Jul 10, 2011)

yeeeeaaaa m8 congratulations


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

baseballdude said:


> I asked a girl that I have had a crush on for the last few months out to coffee this morning. She said yes! :boogieWe are meeting tomorrow at 3:00 PM at the on-campus coffee shop. I'm super amped right now!
> 
> The only thing I am worried about is that she will think it is just a friendly encounter. But I am just going to focus on the positives. I asked her, she said yes, so it is time to celebrate! :clap


Great job - just don't think for her. Let her get to know you.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

you're doing really well 

good luck!

i'm so envious :/


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## THEuTASTEsOFeINKd (Apr 10, 2010)

baseballdude said:


> Alright, so the night went good, I think. The problem with me is that I have a hard time letting a girl know that I am interested in her. This can be by playfully touching her or flirting with her. I did not do much of either of these things last night. Don't get me wrong, we were talking for a good hour and a half just walking around the hotel, and we were talking a lot in the car there and back. I took her to see a movie as well but there was no physical contact there at all. When I took her back to her apartment, I was debating whether to go for the kiss or not, but I decided too late and just went for a hug instead. I am hoping she does not see me as some p***y who is too afraid to touch her.
> 
> I'm kind of disappointed with myself for not being more upfront, but I need to stay positive. This was only our second date, and I do not think either of us were ready for much physical activity. I loved being able to just walk around in the cold with her and just talk. She looked so beautiful under all those christmas lights. It was another good "get to know you" kind of date. Maybe next time we can start taking it to the next level.
> 
> Overall, I had a good time, and I believe she did too. There is just that nagging thought in my brain that I was too "love-shy" but I always tend to think negatively so I am not going to let those thoughts bother me. I won't be able to see her for another three weeks because we are both on Christmas break from school and she lives halfway across the country. That's a bummer. I'll stop thinking out loud for now...


You're doing great. The time for a kiss will come eventually and when that time comes just go for it. And then you can both nervously laugh after it happens, lol.


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## baseballdude (May 23, 2010)

Hey guys, just giving you all an update about my situation with this girl. We talked on and off over the three week break. When I got back to school, things between us just felt more distant. She wasn't as receptive to me as she was before Christmas break. However, I asked if she wanted to have lunch today and she did. This would be the first time we had gone out since I took her out before the break. I took her to Panera and we talked, but there just wasn't that same spark that we used to have.

I took her back to her apartment and I did the good old "Define the Relationship" speech. I asked her if my feelings for her was mutual and if she was still worth pursuing on my part. She told me that she wanted to "pursue a friendship" with me and told me that she is "not ready for a relationship." So, this is over. Whatever happened between us is done. It was fun while it lasted, but the frustrating part is that it went nowhere. 

I'm a bit down, but I am trying to stay positive. No girl has ever been interested in me romantically before. I don't understand what I am doing wrong. I often feel that I talk to girls in too much of a "friendly" way and they get the impression that I only see them as a friend. Plenty of girls have said that I am a good looking guy, it is my personality that tends to bore girls. I'm just going to continue to roll along and look forward to finding that one girl that I will be able to love and care for and one who will reciprocate those feelings. For now, I am going to continue working on myself and develop into the man I was created to be. 

So, it was a tough day, but I am keeping my head up .


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## theastralgirl (Jan 15, 2012)

Don't get upset. I've learned that people's feelings change pretty quickly. Both girls and guys are fickle. These articles might help you out a little bit:

http://www.girlschase.com/content/how-act-when-girl-rejects-you
http://www.girlschase.com/content/just-friends-mans-worst-nightmare


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## theastralgirl (Jan 15, 2012)

Note: Sorry. I posted in both threads you made. Since I'm a new user it made my posts go through moderation for listing links.


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## Secretly Pretentious (Dec 18, 2011)

I'm sorry it didn't work out in the end. But reading your previous posts on the thread, it sounds to me that you did a wonderful job! Yes, I agree that more physical contact would have made the date feel less friendsy. (Drape an arm around her shoulders, rest your leg against hers under the table, etc) But I think that you were very brave and took a huge step in overcoming your SA. The next time you date a girl will only be easier because you have experience under your belt.


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