# No Friends = No Girlfriend?



## dal user

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## dal user

Bump


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## Just Here

Your letting this get you down. So you don't have girlfriend. It could be lot worst. She could be the biggest ***** you ever seen. She could make life hell. Sometimes we see other people that are so happy in relationship and we want that so bad that we don't see that there not that happy. 

I think your right about the friend thing. I haven't met anyone outside of high school. I have closed my life to friends because I have been burn bad by my best friend. So some times friends aren't the greatest thing to have.

As far as being virgin I think it great. I know now a day it's a big thing but wait and share yourself with someone you really care about it will meant so much more to you than a quickie with someone you just met.


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## Just Lurking

Rich91 said:


> I hear a lot of people say this and I really do believe it to be true. It gives off the creepy loner vibe and signals that im a loser who's not worthy of being called a friend by anyone.


I wonder how many girls on this site (or any introverted/shy types at all) would agree with these sentiments.

You "hear a lot of people say this" - Well, you know what, a lot of people talk out of their ***, and it's all hot air too. F*** them.

It's not so much about having friends (or any at all) as it is _having your own life_. Hobbies, work, family, a passion, whatever else you do other than spending time with your girlfriend -- as long as it's _something_.



Rich91 said:


> I also believe that after you leave high school you never make friends again, like you will never make friends at work and if you do chances are you never had any in the first place.


No no no no no no no no.

There are tons of ways to make friends after high school. Most of them require you to actually be, you know, somewhat social, but.. yeah. Volunteer. Take a night school course. Organize a forum meetup. Join some groups (sports?). Try meetup.com. Network through family. Lots of options.


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## dal user

Just Lurking said:


> *I wonder how many girls on this site (or any introverted/shy types at all) would agree with these sentiments.
> *
> You "hear a lot of people say this" - Well, you know what, a lot of people talk out of their ***, and it's all hot air too. F*** them.
> 
> It's not so much about having friends (or any at all) as it is _having your own life_. Hobbies, work, family, a passion, whatever else you do other than spending time with your girlfriend -- as long as it's _something_.
> 
> No no no no no no no no.
> 
> There are tons of ways to make friends after high school. Most of them require you to actually be, you know, somewhat social, but.. yeah. Volunteer. Take a night school course. Organize a forum meetup. Join some groups (sports?). Try meetup.com. Network through family. Lots of options.


*Im guessing quite a lot. Why would a girl want to get with a guy who has no friends and never goes out?

It just gives off the weirdo vibe. You either have friends or GTFO.
*
Yes yes yes yes yes yes

friends are not made after high school years, its more aquaintances/people you just know and nothing more. Networking through family wouldn't be a good idea as i have a big family and hardly know half of them anyway.

I doubt most of my family would even want to ****ing meet up with an idiot like me anyway, i've not even got most of my family on facebook as they probably don't even know I exist.


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## dal user

Also doing any of the things you listed wont neccasarily make me friends.

I know for a fact I'll be living at home for the rest of my life, I'll never have any friends cos im just too dosile and dumb looking.


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## Just Lurking

Rich91 said:


> Also doing any of the things you listed wont neccasarily make me friends.
> 
> I know for a fact I'll be living at home for the rest of my life, I'll never have any friends cos im just too dosile and dumb looking.


Have you been to a doctor or a therapist about your issues?

Just going by what you've said here, it's sounding like you have very low self-esteem, and yeah, that sure won't go away by "just going out".

You have to get to the root of these feelings and attack the thought process behind it -- that can take some major time and commitment in therapy, no simple task. As the adage goes, "love yourself" before trying to build relationships with other people.


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## dal user

Just Lurking said:


> Have you been to a doctor or a therapist about your issues?
> 
> Just going by what you've said here, it's sounding like you have very low self-esteem, and yeah, that sure won't go away by "just going out".
> 
> You have to get to the root of these feelings and attack the thought process behind it -- that can take some major time and commitment in therapy, no simple task. As the adage goes, "love yourself" before trying to build relationships with other people.


No I haven't been anywhere with my issues

Yiu are right I do have a low self esteem but what I say about myself is 100% fact, I am not gonna make any new friends now or ever meet any girls because im 22 this year and its too late to start now. ****, im surprised I haven't actually ended my life yet cos I have nothing stopping me, I have absolutely nothing to live for.


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## HanSolo

I'm doomed

I know 1 single girl, tried to hangout with her and her friend=my roommate , they stopped talking out loud and texted back and forth instead....

So point taken.


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## dal user

Its a sad reality but its something im gonna have to try my best to live life without.


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## Just Here

Sorry for your pain. Don't give up yet. Your pretty bitter right now I know I've been there. It's not going to do you much good to dell on things that your not willing to change. You sound like your giving up. I think some your issues is that you don't like your self. It's the key to a happy life. Also I think your putting a lot pressure on your self which is making you miserable. Let some of this go and do things that make you happy.


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## To22

I don't believe that *at all*, any of it. There is hope.


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## Gus954

I feel the same way.im a 25 year old virgin with no girlfriend or even chick friends.Sad aint it.


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## dal user

Trademark said:


> I don't believe that *at all*, any of it. There is hope.


There isn't any hope for me though, things will always be the same now unfortunately.


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## patientx

Guys, do NOT give up.

I know it feels **** right now, but believe me, life changes if you keep trying.

I had many problems in my life which I solved slowly and gradually one by one as I grew up.

I still have many problems yet to be solved, but I have proven to myself that with perseverance and determination, I can solve my problems.

Everyday is a brand new day. Keep working at it!


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## Widowmaker

Come to Australia and il get you laid..

And then you will realize that being a virgin and having no friends doesn't change anything, A female looking for a relationship is not looking to take on someones baggage your own self worth and self esteem issues are what scares people off and not the weirdo vibe you think your putting out.

Personally i have been lucky enough to enjoy the company of.. Several women..
of which i do not remember half of their names and even more then half of their faces.
Yet i am still here alone, with very few good friends much like yourself.


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## dal user

Incompl said:


> False.


Whats false?


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## Just Lurking

HanSolo said:


> I'm doomed
> 
> I know 1 single girl, tried to hangout with her and her friend=my roommate , they stopped talking out loud and texted back and forth instead....
> 
> So point taken.


That's really s***ty that happened, but don't 'doom yourself' over what happens with _one_ girl. There are lots out there, and many of them would appreciate some of the traits of your typical SAer.


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## dal user

Just Lurking said:


> That's really s***ty that happened, but don't 'doom yourself' over what happens with _one_ girl. There are lots out there, and many of them would appreciate some of the traits of your typical SAer.


why would any sane girl appreciate a guy with traits of sa?



Incompl said:


> The whole no friends = no girlfriend theory.


Its not though, eventually a girl will realise that I have no friends and would just not wanna be with me anymore. I know what im talking about.


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## Alice1222

I feel exactly the same. I'm having some troubles with friends right now, and I haven't quit High School yet, but I'm scared that because I failed with friends in Middle School, now the same thing will happen in High School, and after that it feels like pretty much everything will suck. I'm not from England or USA so I can't really join these popular sites for people with anxiety like me... And most people I meet online isn't from where I am from, so I'm constantly worried I'll never meet friends outside school and other things... I am terrified of the future and all. Anyway, I just hope that things will work out. Feels better knowing others feel the same, also, I'm scared of not getting a boyfriend since I won't have a best friend to kind of start things with or just hang out with at the same time, and it feels a bit weird to go internet dating when I'm like 20... I'd rather it'd be more natural.


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## Daylight

I have no legit friends, just acquaintances, and I have a girlfriend. I got lucky I suppose.


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## cc1991

I don't think that's true. It might be for some people, but if someone were to tell me they have no friends I'd more than likely want to be their friend. Not out of pity, but understanding. But if someone won't be your girlfriend because you lack friends, the relationship would be incompatible. Sometimes people experience really hard times and life changes. I think most people are understanding that life's challenges sometimes force people to take care of themselves first or their family first, and others come last.

But I'm sure you are likeable and a girl will like/love you for you. It is good to make friends, but it's not the main factor in being in a healthy relationship.


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## dal user

Incompl said:


> The amount of women who would leave you solely on lack of friends is probably not as much as you would think. I would say the bigger reason a woman might not want you is due to some of the ****ty attitudes I see displayed on here. I haven't had a friend in years yet managed to get girlfriends and before someone asks no I'm not good looking, popular, rich, high status, 7% body fat or whatever bs obstacle some guys like to put in front of yourselves to sike yourself out. I know I'm not the only one either so relax.


Maybe I've got into a bad mind cycle then but from what I've read on here girls dont like guys who are loners.



cc1991 said:


> I don't think that's true. It might be for some people, but if someone were to tell me they have no friends I'd more than likely want to be their friend. Not out of pity, but understanding. But if someone won't be your girlfriend because you lack friends, the relationship would be incompatible. Sometimes people experience really hard times and life changes. I think most people are understanding that life's challenges sometimes force people to take care of themselves first or their family first, and others come last.
> 
> But I'm sure you are likeable and a girl will like/love you for you. It is good to make friends, but it's not the main factor in being in a healthy relationship.


I think I've got into a bad cycle of thoughts then.


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## cc1991

Yeah, it's just a negative perception pattern. That's all it is . You're good enough and likeable. Loving people and positive events flow into your life easily. Trust yourself and love yourself. Positive things are entering your life.


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## Corvus Cowl

Having friends so doesn't get you laid. I can easily make friends, and I make people laugh when I am not even trying to be funny (something supposedly a lot of women treasure), and yet I have not gotten laid once. ONCE! Let alone a girlfriend!

What's my problem? It's super hard for me to ask them out! That's been my fatal flaw. I was able to ask a few women in my lifetime out, but each time has been met with failure either due to the "just friends" status or being blown off. But does that get me down!? Well kinda, but over the years I have learned to smile and laugh at my failures, turning them into positive outlooks rather than adding them to a depressing reality.

I have faith that one day I will at least get a pity f*** or perhaps get lucky at some form of party with the resident drunk chick, or if I am really lucky, a chick will just ask me out and I won't have to deal with the whole "working up the the courage and putting a million scenarios in my head on what will happen when I ask her out" routine.

Any how, my point is Rich is to not give up on finding a lady (I've been there too I know it can suck) and perhaps find a way to cope with it (helped me out a lot believe me!).


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## Scarlettskkye

My ex bf seemed to like me a lot until he realized I don't have any friends xD 
I think a lot of people are like that.
If you have bf/gf AND a good friend(s) it shows that someone else (besides the bf/gf) wants to spend time with you, and is interested you, which with that makes the bf/gf more interested in you as well. 
Sucks...doesn't it


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## dal user

Scarlettskkye said:


> My ex bf seemed to like me a lot until he realized I don't have any friends xD
> I think a lot of people are like that.
> If you have bf/gf AND a good friend(s) it shows that someone else (besides the bf/gf) wants to spend time with you, and is interested you, which with that makes the bf/gf more interested in you as well.
> Sucks...doesn't it


This is exactly what I've been trying to say

Some people itt seem pretty sure that its not true though, maybe they are right I dont know.


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## dal user

mezzoforte said:


> .


Im gonna ask you this because you're female and I want the female perspective on this

If you didn't have sa and you liked a guy whi did and because of this he had no friends would you still date him?


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## mezzoforte

Rich91 said:


> Im gonna ask you this because you're female and I want the female perspective on this
> 
> If you didn't have sa and you liked a guy whi did and because of this he had no friends would you still date him?


It's hard to imagine my life without SA. It's really hard to say...Without SA, I might still be introverted, so I might not mind. But on the other hand, without SA I might have the courage to make a lot of friends and go to a bunch of parties. :stu I think there would be a better chance of an introverted/quiet/shy girl being accepting of a guy with SA rather than an extroverted, outgoing girl. So I'd go after shy girls if I was a guy with SA.


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## socialphobia23

I agree it's impossible to get a girlfriend with no friends. It's also true real friends are not made after HS.


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## Jackson4

Friends might help in that to some women/girls it represents a social acceptance of you by others.

But the types of girls who use that as an indicator, will be the types of chicks you wouldn't like anyway probably.

From a male pov I don't care if a girl has friends or not - to be honest the fewer the better to a degree, it can make life easier!

But just as you are overly worried with a womans perception of you, there are women with the exact same issues, worrying they can't get someone like you.

Friends come and go - I have a couple good friends that even if I don't see we still enjoy each others company. But generally friends drift like crazy. Don't believe the bull****. Most people may know people, that doesn't mean they share their lives. Many friendships are very superficial and shallow.

Don't sweat it, hang in there. High school is the end of your old life not its beginning. 99% of people hated high school and the ones who didn't are plain weird.


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## dal user

Jackson4 said:


> Friends might help in that to some women/girls it represents a social acceptance of you by others.
> 
> But the types of girls who use that as an indicator, will be the types of chicks you wouldn't like anyway probably.
> 
> From a male pov I don't care if a girl has friends or not - to be honest the fewer the better to a degree, it can make life easier!
> 
> *But just as you are overly worried with a womans perception of you, there are women with the exact same issues, worrying they can't get someone like you.*
> 
> Friends come and go - I have a couple good friends that even if I don't see we still enjoy each others company. But generally friends drift like crazy. Don't believe the bull****. Most people may know people, that doesn't mean they share their lives. Many friendships are very superficial and shallow.
> 
> Don't sweat it, hang in there. High school is the end of your old life not its beginning. 99% of people hated high school and the ones who didn't are plain weird.


I get your point but I don't see why a woman would want a guy like me anyway.



Incompl said:


> Yeah I figured, probably best to stay away from those threads. Certain users sole purpose on here is to bring everyone down and drill these false ideas onto others. Ignore them.


But are they false though?

its hard believing they are not now because of all the shi* i've read on here.

I basically look at it like this:

*- I haven't got a proper job and im not ever likely to have
- People see me as a retard because to be honest I look like one and talk like one

- I have no personality
- My teeth are crooked causing me to have an uneven smile
- Im too quiet and when I do speak up people laugh at me cos they cant understand what im saying

- I have no friends and never will
- Im not intelligent, im rather dumb.
- I live on a council estate that is an absolute shi*hole
- I have no car or any other form of transport, I still ride the bus.
- I am really ugly, my chin receeds inwards (weak chin) my top set of teeth are buck, my nose is huge and red, I have a huge lump on my forehead, I have wrinkles around my eyes when I laugh, my hair is greasy and so is the skin on my face, I also have eyes like a wild animal.*

These are all things that are genuine facts about me

So someone tell me why would a girl want to even be within walking distance of me let alone even be with me.


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## vanilla90

This is my problem, it's not that I don't have any friends, it's just that I'm not extremely popular and in the middle, so I get overlooked.


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## dal user

vanilla90 said:


> This is my problem, it's not that I don't have any friends, it's just that I'm not extremely popular and in the middle, so I get overlooked.


its a **** world we live in, the worrying thing is i think the majority of people have the same mindset.


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## bobby.

Rich91 said:


> I get your point but I don't see why a woman would want a guy like me anyway.
> 
> But are they false though?
> 
> its hard believing they are not now because of all the shi* i've read on here.
> 
> I basically look at it like this:
> 
> *- I haven't got a proper job and im not ever likely to have
> - People see me as a retard because to be honest I look like one and talk like one
> 
> - I have no personality
> - My teeth are crooked causing me to have an uneven smile
> - Im too quiet and when I do speak up people laugh at me cos they cant understand what im saying
> 
> - I have no friends and never will
> - Im not intelligent, im rather dumb.
> - I live on a council estate that is an absolute shi*hole
> - I have no car or any other form of transport, I still ride the bus.
> - I am really ugly, my chin receeds inwards (weak chin) my top set of teeth are buck, my nose is huge and red, I have a huge lump on my forehead, I have wrinkles around my eyes when I laugh, my hair is greasy and so is the skin on my face, I also have eyes like a wild animal.*
> 
> These are all things that are genuine facts about me
> 
> So someone tell me why would a girl want to even be within walking distance of me let alone even be with me.


As I see it, you have several options. All involve improving your social position -- there is no other way of gaining female attraction:

1) Become a thug. Work out, get buff, join a gang, deal drugs, etc. It doesn't matter how ugly you are if you take this option; act reckless and unpredictable and your fellow thugs will be intimidated by you, which will gain you respect, status, and ultimately women (really disgusting women).

2) Act slightly camp and espouse very left-wing opinions. Stand up for gay rights. Become a communist. Wear a big woolly, rainbow coloured jumper and smoke weed. Start a fashion blog. This will make you appealing to young women, but not sexually. You will be King of The Friend Zone. You're chances will be a lot better than they are currently.

3) Move to another country where you will be better appreciated. There are places you can go where simply being British will lend you a certain charm, which will draw the ladies' attention.

4) Resign yourself to the fact that you are unlikely to ever attract the woman of your dreams. Focus your energy on something else. Give up, essentially.

That's all I can think of for now. Hopefully my answer makes a refreshing change from all the delusional, PC, happy rainbow fantasy-land advice without being too insulting =)


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## dal user

Oob said:


> As I see it, you have several options. All involve improving your social position -- there is no other way of gaining female attraction:
> 
> 1) Become a thug. Work out, get buff, join a gang, deal drugs, etc. It doesn't matter how ugly you are if you take this option; act reckless and unpredictable and your fellow thugs will be intimidated by you, which will gain you respect, status, and ultimately women (really disgusting women).
> 
> 2) Act slightly camp and espouse very left-wing opinions. Stand up for gay rights. Become a communist. Wear a big woolly, rainbow coloured jumper and smoke weed. Start a fashion blog. This will make you appealing to young women, but not sexually. You will be King of The Friend Zone. You're chances will be a lot better than they are currently.
> 
> 3) Move to another country where you will be better appreciated. There are places you can go where simply being British will lend you a certain charm, which will draw the ladies' attention.
> 
> 4) Resign yourself to the fact that you are unlikely to ever attract the woman of your dreams. Focus your energy on something else. Give up, essentially.
> 
> That's all I can think of for now. Hopefully my answer makes a refreshing change from all the delusional, PC, happy rainbow fantasy-land advice without being too insulting =)


WOW just WOW

so basically everything people have posted itt is bull**** then?

thats just boosted my outlook on life and has made me 100x more confident than usual/.


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## min0taur

Oob said:


> As I see it, you have several options. All involve improving your social position -- there is no other way of gaining female attraction:
> 
> 1) Become a thug. Work out, get buff, join a gang, deal drugs, etc. It doesn't matter how ugly you are if you take this option; act reckless and unpredictable and your fellow thugs will be intimidated by you, which will gain you respect, status, and ultimately women (really disgusting women).
> 
> 2) Act slightly camp and espouse very left-wing opinions. Stand up for gay rights. Become a communist. Wear a big woolly, rainbow coloured jumper and smoke weed. Start a fashion blog. This will make you appealing to young women, but not sexually. You will be King of The Friend Zone. You're chances will be a lot better than they are currently.
> 
> 3) Move to another country where you will be better appreciated. There are places you can go where simply being British will lend you a certain charm, which will draw the ladies' attention.
> 
> 4) Resign yourself to the fact that you are unlikely to ever attract the woman of your dreams. Focus your energy on something else. Give up, essentially.
> 
> That's all I can think of for now. Hopefully my answer makes a refreshing change from all the delusional, PC, happy rainbow fantasy-land advice without being too insulting =)


Your pessimism cracks me up lol


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## visualkeirockstar

Friends or no friends its impossible.


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## dal user

visualkeirockstar said:


> Friends or no friends its impossible.


How?


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## visualkeirockstar

Rich91 said:


> How?


Some of aren't meant to have gf. Our fate lies on being alone forever.


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## dal user

visualkeirockstar said:


> Some of aren't meant to have gf. Our fate lies on being alone forever.


I really do hope that is not true


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## dal user

ridgelands said:


> Well not necessarily, I wasn't popular socially in college or anything but some girls seemed to like me.


Liked you as a friend or fancied you as in finding you attractive?


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## enjo

You guys are so cute..

Thread should be

NO confidence = NO friends/girlfriend


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## dal user

enjo said:


> You guys are so cute..
> 
> Thread should be
> 
> NO confidence = NO friends/girlfriend


That explains whyvi've got neither, im never likely to either.



ridgelands said:


> "Liked you as a friend or fancied you as in finding you attractive?."
> 
> Well it wasn't really a large amount of girls or anything, but there were some girls who would just approach me at a table and then start a conversation. They seemed to find me interesting. I also got some compliments from (a few) girls, like on what I wore, results of working out, talents, etc.


Your lucky then, did it ever lead to anything?


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## dal user

ridgelands said:


> Well not really, I wasn't really much into dating back then (not much today either), since I'm afraid of an accidental pregnancy and I mulled it over and realized I won't be a fit parent. It was just flattering that some girls complimented/admired me for some stuff.


Yes it is flattering, I find it is cos I dont get many compliments.

Its funny because I almost swiped some woman off her feet at work the other week, I honestly thought I was gonna pull there and then but nothing come of it because she was an older women but she looked about my age (21) but she said she was 35, what happened was I was serving her and she had alcohol in with her shopping so I adked her for I.D and she was really touched, she held her hand over her mouth and chest and said it was the biggest compliment she had in ages. She was really hot as well but I wouldn't of stood a chance, I've probably just bored you to s*it with that story, sorry if I have.


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## enjo

Then why not work on it? Getting confidence.


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## dal user

enjo said:


> Then why not work on it? Getting confidence.


Well its not easy, especially when I've lived for near enough 22 years without ever having any confidence, also being extremely ugly doesn't help.


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## Elad

some of the ideas regarding "what women want" that some of you delude yourselves into believing to avoid trying, or as a fail safe for if things don't go your way are hilarious.

its a lot easier to paint other people a certain way instead of admitting there is something _seriously_ wrong with your own thinking. if you keep trying with the same results, the problem most likely not them.


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## dal user

Elad said:


> some of the ideas regarding "what women want" that some of you delude yourselves into believing to avoid trying, or as a fail safe for if things don't go your way are hilarious.
> 
> its a lot easier to paint other people a certain way instead of admitting there is something _seriously_ wrong with your own thinking. if you keep trying with the same results, the problem most likely not them.


I've admitted several times that there is so mething wrong with me but most girls these days don't even wanna be around bummy broke guys like myself. I have no money or career, I dont think a girl would appreciate washing my dirty high vis vest and looking at my ugly face everyday, why would she want that when she could be with a hsndsome guy ironing a his expensive work shirts. I know for a fact most girls would prefer the latter.


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## enjo

Rich91 said:


> Well its not easy, especially when I've lived for near enough 22 years without ever having any confidence, also being extremely ugly doesn't help.


Well, let me share you a story of my good good friend in college. Like you were claiming, he is SO physically unattractive from head to toe, his face is really really really weird looking and the first time our path crossed, he scared me to death. he looks like a skinny hooligan(I'm not exaggerating and I hope he won't read this ). But guess what. we become friends (And I almost date him), and so is a whole bunch of people on college. How did that happen?
Because he is smart, funny, and talented.
That's where he gets his confidence.
During our college years, I learned from him how he become that way:

he told me he needs to be good at something else to compensate for things he's bad at (like his looks).

So throughout his highschool years, he work his way to be smart, talented and exploit his weakness so no one can use it against him.
I'll never forget his advices. He still serve as an inspiration to me.
And... he has a pretty girlfriend right now. So happy for him.
Just wanna share this.


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## dal user

enjo said:


> Well, let me share you a story of my good good friend in college. Like you were claiming, he is SO physically unattractive from head to toe, his face is really really really weird looking and the first time our path crossed, he scared me to death. he looks like a skinny hooligan(I'm not exaggerating and I hope he won't read this ). But guess what. we become friends (And I almost date him), and so is a whole bunch of people on college. How did that happen?
> Because he is smart, funny, and talented.
> That's where he gets his confidence.
> During our college years, I learned from him how he become that way:
> 
> he told me he needs to be good at something else to compensate for things he's bad at (like his looks).
> 
> So throughout his highschool years, he work his way to be smart, talented and exploit his weakness so no one can use it against him.
> I'll never forget his advices. He still serve as an inspiration to me.
> And... he has a pretty girlfriend right now. So happy for him.
> Just wanna share this.


yeah well thats good for your friend then init

like you said he is intelligent so it makes up for his ugly looks but im really stupid, im almost certain i have a really severe form of retardation.

i'll tell you a bit of a story about myself now you've told me one about your friend.

basically throughout high school i was always in the bottom class, my target grades in year 10 and 11 were all *F's* and the grade i was working at was a *G*, i was 15/16 years old at the time and i should of been above that, now here is the worst part, i was reading some of my old school reports the other week and in some of the lessons my teachers were quite impressed by my work and said most things were okay, so i was working hard in some lessons but still getting poor grades, its not like i couldn't be a**ed either, i tried hard in some lessons and to put effort in and still be working towards an *F* is absolutely shocking. some people get *F's *in some subjects but excel in others, but with me it was the same in all of the classes i had, now im 21 in a dead end job and cant do anything about because i have pi*s poor gcse's from school, the work line im looking at for the rest of my life now is the thing im doing at the moment - pushing trolleys in a supermarket car park or cleaning, thats it, thats my life for the next 60 years or so. there is no point in anybody trying to tell me any different because i know im right, its too late now and unchangeable. so yeah im a pig ugly f*** and im thick as two short planks, great person i must be, sometimes i think i should just **** off and die cos im a useless thick c*** anyway.


----------



## dal user

I doubt his girlfriend is that pretty anyway


----------



## lostfromreality731

go on facebook, add a bunch of people you know, log in everyday and just observe the drama before your eyes, trust me being a loner can be very relaxing and easier when you realize making empty friends is overrated


----------



## dal user

warwick2155 said:


> go on facebook, add a bunch of people you know, log in everyday and just observe the drama before your eyes, trust me being a loner can be very relaxing and easier when you realize making empty friends is overrated


Why would people want a dumb ****ing idiot likr me on their facebook friends list?


----------



## Neddy123

warwick2155 said:


> go on facebook, add a bunch of people you know, log in everyday and just observe the drama before your eyes, trust me being a loner can be very relaxing and easier when you realize making empty friends is overrated


Testify


----------



## Ntln

I read somewhere that when a girl looks for a potential mate, one of the things that motivates her is raising her own social status, so it plays a part, but I doubt it makes it impossible.


----------



## dal user

Ntln said:


> I read somewhere that when a girl looks for a potential mate, one of the things that motivates her is raising her own social status, so it plays a part, but I doubt it makes it impossible.


It does make it impossible though


----------



## Ntln

Rich91 said:


> It does make it impossible though


If you find a girl who doesn't have many friends herself, I doubt she'd be bothered. And there is absolutely no way you can say that no woman in the world would ever date a guy with no friends.


----------



## dal user

Ntln said:


> If you find a girl who doesn't have many friends herself, I doubt she'd be bothered. And there is absolutely no way you can say that no woman in the world would ever date a guy with no friends.


Which is why its impissible, there aren't many girls without friends.


----------



## Cam1

I've been seeing a girl for a couple weeks now and haven't even had to speak about my social life (or lack there of) yet. I'm hoping that as things progress something as foolish as not having friends would be a non factor in her decision to keep seeing me. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't care though, she's not exactly super social either - though she does have some friends. Just don't talk about it until the relationship is more solid, imo. If she leaves you for not having friends view it as a blessing that you're free from the reigns of a shallow person.


----------



## Anxietyriddled

It's a natural instinct for women to want a "tribal leader". The strongest male produces the most successful offspring, it's hardwired into their brains. If you have a strong "pack" to support and protect you then women will naturally be drawn to that. Women highly desire protection and a loner is like a "sitting duck" an easy prey that offers very little to none.


----------



## MindHacker

Oob said:


> .


 Girls are attracted to MANY things...and you don't need ALL of them. No friends? Just spin it in a positive way that makes you look good: "I'm independent and most guys my age aren't on my level so I don't bother hanging with them." Makes you sound good by comparison. Just roll with it bro.


----------



## dal user

Anxietyriddled said:


> It's a natural instinct for women to want a "tribal leader". The strongest male produces the most successful offspring, it's hardwired into their brains. If you have a strong "pack" to support and protect you then women will naturally be drawn to that. Women highly desire protection and a loner is like a "sitting duck" an easy prey that offers very little to none.


So im pretty much screwed then?


----------



## Anxietyriddled

Nope, your not , never accept that! I'm sure as hell not going to. I'm learning pua to get past these "roadblocks", once you learn "game" every thing will come easier socially, the friends, the women will all come naturally. I'm not trying to be discouraging just honest as possible. I really really hope u and me can overcome this! I believe!


----------



## dal user

Anxietyriddled said:


> Nope, your not , never accept that! I'm sure as hell not going to. I'm learning pua to get past these "roadblocks", once you learn "game" every thing will come easier socially, the friends, the women will all come naturally. I'm not trying to be discouraging just honest as possible. I really really hope u and me can overcome this! I believe!


What is pua?


----------



## HopelessAtLife

Hey Rich91, are you my long lost twin brother? lol cause everything you have said is exactly how my life is too. Except I don't have a job at the moment


----------



## dal user

HopelessAtLife said:


> Hey Rich91, are you my long lost twin brother? lol cause everything you have said is exactly how my life is too. Except I don't have a job at the moment


Could well be, its funny because I actually have a brother that I've never met.


----------



## dal user

I think the only girls who wouldn't mind if you didn't have friends are either girls with sa or quiet outgoing girls.


----------



## dal user

vanilla90 said:


> This is my problem, it's not that I don't have any friends, it's just that I'm not extremely popular and in the middle, so I get overlooked.


Could you share how you managed to get a girlfriend without any friends

I think I remember saying you have no friends


----------



## rymo

I don't recall the subject of friends ever coming up when first talking to a girl. It's not like you meet a girl and she goes through a checklist with you to make sure you meet all of her criteria. That's something that doesn't come up until things progress to a more serious level. My ex used to jab me for not having any friends, but that was months into our relationship. And it didn't change her desire to want to be with me. This is not a valid excuse to not being able to get a girl.


----------



## The Enclave

Cam1 said:


> I've been seeing a girl for a couple weeks now and haven't even had to speak about my social life (or lack there of) yet. I'm hoping that as things progress something as foolish as not having friends would be a non factor in her decision to keep seeing me. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't care though, she's not exactly super social either - though she does have some friends. Just don't talk about it until the relationship is more solid, imo.* If she leaves you for not having friends view it as a blessing that you're free from the reigns of a shallow person.*


100% correct.


----------



## BigBlueMoon

Read your OP and agreed with everything you said. Making friends is possible, albeit the opportunities to do so grow slimmer as you get older. And girls do not like guys with low social status. It is almost common knowledge. Having a low social status is one of the biggest chick repellents. I'd say it's right up there with being overweight or having bad breath.


----------



## dal user

rymo said:


> I don't recall the subject of friends ever coming up when first talking to a girl. It's not like you meet a girl and she goes through a checklist with you to make sure you meet all of her criteria. That's something that doesn't come up until things progress to a more serious level. My ex used to jab me for not having any friends, but that was months into our relationship. And it didn't change her desire to want to be with me. This is not a valid excuse to not being able to get a girl.


It is thiugh girls dont like loners

no guy will ever get a girlfriend with a low social status and no friends.


----------



## Beingofglass

It's pretty simple, is'nt it?

If you can't even be bothered, or rather, "is'nt able due to issues", gain one friend, then it's going to be pure logic that you're not going to be capable of expressing interest in women either. I assume this for normal people, not the callous ones. 
Just look at *******s, they can get women quickly and don't actually have any real friends.

The only thing they do diffrently is Express obvious interest and actual "do something".


----------



## rymo

Rich91 said:


> It is thiugh girls dont like loners
> 
> no guy will ever get a girlfriend with a low social status and no friends.


Oh well, Rich. Even though I disagree, if you have that attitude, then yes, you're ****ed.


----------



## dal user

rymo said:


> Oh well, Rich. Even though I disagree, if you have that attitude, then yes, you're ****ed.


Can you blame me for thinking and having tge attitude I do

im 22 soon and I've never had any interest from girls before, its always been 'ewww look at tge state of him'


----------



## rymo

Rich91 said:


> Can you blame me for thinking and having tge attitude I do
> 
> im 22 soon and I've never had any interest from girls before, its always been 'ewww look at tge state of him'


I was 24 before I had any interest, and even that took a hell of a lot of work. It wasn't just, "Oh hey, I'm interested in that guy who has a bad attitude and isn't trying to talk to me." It was rejection, rejection, rejection and slowly improving myself by learning from those experiences.

I just don't understand what the point of all of your topics. What do you want people to say? When people give constructive criticism, you just say it's hopeless. Well if it's hopeless, then why the **** are you posting these topics? Pity party? For what? What purpose does it serve? It doesn't get you anywhere or change anything.

I'm not saying someone can't ***** about their life, that's half of the point of this site. But you sir, are the king.


----------



## dal user

rymo said:


> I was 24 before I had any interest, and even that took a hell of a lot of work. It wasn't just, "Oh hey, I'm interested in that guy who has a bad attitude and isn't trying to talk to me." It was rejection, rejection, rejection and slowly improving myself by learning from those experiences.
> 
> I just don't understand what the point of all of your topics. What do you want people to say? When people give constructive criticism, you just say it's hopeless. Well if it's hopeless, then why the **** are you posting these topics? Pity party? For what? What purpose does it serve? It doesn't get you anywhere or change anything.
> 
> I'm not saying someone can't ***** about their life, that's half of the point of this site. But you sir, are the king.


Im just bored and very lonely

Dont ****ing talk at me like im a c*** either, you clearly said that this is a place for people to ***** so dont ***** about people *****ing. Nobody is forcing you to come on here, if you dont like people venting then why do you come on here?


----------



## rymo

Rich91 said:


> Im just bored and very lonely
> 
> Dont ****ing talk at me like im a c*** either, you clearly said that this is a place for people to ***** so dont ***** about people *****ing. Nobody is forcing you to come on here, if you dont like people venting then why do you come on here?


I don't mind it, it's just impossible to help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. Quite sad that you never take any advice to heart.


----------



## dal user

rymo said:


> I don't mind it, it's just impossible to help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. Quite sad that you never take any advice to heart.


I want to take it to heart but with my current situstion Im in I find it hard to believe that I have a chance of making new friends, getting a new job or even having success with girls.


----------



## rymo

Rich91 said:


> I want to take it to heart but with my current situstion Im in I find it hard to believe that I have a chance of making new friends, getting a new job or even having success with girls.


What's your current situation?


----------



## dal user

rymo said:


> What's your current situation?


Well I suffer from anxiety and depression, I often have suicidal thoughts cis I cant see things getting any better for me.

I also dont have any prospects, im in a dead end menial job. I have no status, I basically dont have much.


----------



## rymo

Rich91 said:


> Well I suffer from anxiety and depression, I often have suicidal thoughts cis I cant see things getting any better for me.
> 
> I also dont have any prospects, im in a dead end menial job. I have no status, I basically dont have much.


Why not go to school?


----------



## nothing else

I don't think it's so much that's girls look at loner guys and think "he's a loser he has no friends." It's more that with less friends you have less social connections and therefore less access to dating.


----------



## dal user

rymo said:


> Why not go to school?


I left school 5 years ago

I think you might mean college?

if so im not very clever so I dont think it would be worth it.


----------



## dal user

nothing else said:


> I don't think it's so much that's girls look at loner guys and think "he's a loser he has no friends." It's more that with less friends you have less social connections and therefore less access to dating.


Could be true but usually girls are hostile towards guys who have no friends and no status


----------



## rymo

Rich91 said:


> I left school 5 years ago
> 
> I think you might mean college?
> 
> if so im not very clever so I dont think it would be worth it.


So you won't go to school and learn something practical to potentially get a new job because you _think _you're dumb. I see. That line of reasoning is dumb, I'll give you that.

You're perpetually self-defeating. You complain about having a crap job, but have no interest in making the changes required to get a good one. I know it's not easy, but I think going to college would be the best thing for you. So many opportunities to grow, meet people, and learn new things.


----------



## dal user

rymo said:


> So you won't go to school and learn something practical to potentially get a new job because you _think _you're dumb. I see. That line of reasoning is dumb, I'll give you that.
> 
> You're perpetually self-defeating. You complain about having a crap job, but have no interest in making the changes required to get a good one. I know it's not easy, but I think going to college would be the best thing for you. So many opportunities to grow, meet people, and learn new things.


I've been college before

I know exactly what you mean, I do my own head in sometimes. I want to go to college but I feel as I wont fit in due to not being cool and im 21 so I might be a bit too old for it now as most people in my country who go college are usual 17 and 18 year olds.


----------



## rymo

Rich91 said:


> I've been college before
> 
> I know exactly what you mean, I do my own head in sometimes. I want to go to college but I feel as I wont fit in due to not being cool and im 21 so I might be a bit too old for it now as most people in my country who go college are usual 17 and 18 year olds.


All I can say is, the longer you stay afraid of new experiences and change, the longer you'll be lonely and depressed. If someone doesn't think you're "cool", they can go **** themselves.

My dad switched from environmental engineering to information technology when he was about 50. He would go to career fairs and the young guns would laugh at him. They would literally laugh at him as he strolled through trying to get a job as an old man in a new industry. Did he care? Maybe. I'm sure it affected him. But that didn't make him give up. He just plowed through, and now he's making buku bucks. No pain, no gain.


----------



## Themis

Rich91 said:


> Could be true but usually girls are hostile towards guys who have no friends and no status


This certainly isn't true for all girls. I don't find guys with no social status or friends to be off-putting, if they've got hobbies or things they're interested in or passionate about that's what was important. I've never been involved in the dating scene, but that goes for friends too. As for the girls being hostile, they sound flat out rude in that case.


----------



## BigBlueMoon

rymo said:


> I was 24 before I had any interest, and even that took a hell of a lot of work. It wasn't just, "Oh hey, I'm interested in that guy who has a bad attitude and isn't trying to talk to me." It was rejection, rejection, rejection and slowly improving myself by learning from those experiences.
> 
> I just don't understand what the point of all of your topics. What do you want people to say? When people give constructive criticism, you just say it's hopeless. Well if it's hopeless, then why the **** are you posting these topics? Pity party? For what? What purpose does it serve? It doesn't get you anywhere or change anything.
> 
> I'm not saying someone can't ***** about their life, that's half of the point of this site. But you sir, are the king.


If my first opportunity to be with a woman was at the age of 24, I would just turn her down. I will not be able to enter a relationship with a woman at that age if I don't get experience by then.


----------



## rymo

BigBlueMoon said:


> If my first opportunity to be with a woman was at the age of 24, I would just turn her down. I will not be able to enter a relationship with a woman at that age if I don't get experience by then.


Sucks for you man. Hopefully you get a girl before the imaginary time limit expires.


----------



## Barette

Lol, because 24 is oh so old. That's such a naive view, to think at a certain age you should give up as if you'll be less of a person, less of a reason worth living, and should say **** it forever... At 24.


----------



## dal user

rymo said:


> All I can say is, the longer you stay afraid of new experiences and change, the longer you'll be lonely and depressed. If someone doesn't think you're "cool", they can go **** themselves.
> 
> My dad switched from environmental engineering to information technology when he was about 50. He would go to career fairs and the young guns would laugh at him. They would literally laugh at him as he strolled through trying to get a job as an old man in a new industry. Did he care? Maybe. I'm sure it affected him. But that didn't make him give up. He just plowed through, and now he's making buku bucks. No pain, no gain.


Maybe I shouldn't let things like that get to me, maybe I'd get away with it as I dont look 21 anyway. I dont know what to do then, cheers for the advice any how.



Themis said:


> This certainly isn't true for all girls. I don't find guys with no social status or friends to be off-putting, if they've got hobbies or things they're interested in or passionate about that's what was important. I've never been involved in the dating scene, but that goes for friends too. As for the girls being hostile, they sound flat out rude in that case.


I know not all girls are like that but the majority are

girls with sa wouldn't have a problem with a guy without friends or status but outgoing extroverted girls would. We cant say that isn't true.


----------



## Themis

Rich91 said:


> I know not all girls are like that but the majority are
> 
> girls with sa wouldn't have a problem with a guy without friends or status but outgoing extroverted girls would. We cant say that isn't true.


If it makes any difference, I know girls without SA that are like that too. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the girl supposed to be interested in you, rather than the friends you have? I won't deny that plenty of girls can be the way you've described, but that doesn't mean there's no hope. I also know my words won't change your mind, but I do hope that one day you'll be able to see the good things about yourself and go out and see that you don't have to be alone. In the meantime I wish you the best in dealing with your problems.


----------



## dal user

Themis said:


> If it makes any difference, I know girls without SA that are like that too. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the girl supposed to be interested in you, rather than the friends you have? I won't deny that plenty of girls can be the way you've described, but that doesn't mean there's no hope. I also know my words won't change your mind, but I do hope that one day you'll be able to see the good things about yourself and go out and see that you don't have to be alone. In the meantime I wish you the best in dealing with your problems.


Well I have a really asdymetrical face and I've read that people with asdymetrical faces have a harder time finding a job or a sexual partner. Symmetrical faces are the best to have in terms to get anywhere in life so im screwed I think. Thanks anyway, it helps me a little when people on here are so supportive.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

A lot of guys on here are so insecure, they would not be able to handle having a girlfriend. 

Saying "woe is me" all the time isn't going to get you anywhere OP. There are girls out there that would date a guy with no friends. As long as you are a genuine person that isn't looking to only get in her pants ( Which is what every girl is used to and comes to expect from every guy that shows interest ) and you have some self confidence and you are secure with where you stand as a person, then there will be a girl out there that will find comfort in you and want to date you.


----------



## lisbeth

Rich91 said:


> Well I have a really asdymetrical face and I've read that people with asdymetrical faces have a harder time finding a job or a sexual partner. Symmetrical faces are the best to have in terms to get anywhere in life so im screwed I think. Thanks anyway, it helps me a little when people on here are so supportive.


I have an asymmetrical face too and used to fixate on it the way you do. But it's only mental illness making you do that. Other people don't notice as much as you think they do. People take in an overall impression of your face instead of seeing every detail.



RelinquishedHell said:


> A lot of guys on here are so insecure, they would not be able to handle having a girlfriend.
> 
> Saying "woe is me" all the time isn't going to get you anywhere OP. There are girls out there that would date a guy with no friends. As long as you are a genuine person that isn't looking to only get in her pants ( Which is what every girl is used to and comes to expect from every guy that shows interest ) and you have some self confidence and you are secure with where you stand as a person, then there will be a girl out there that will find comfort in you and want to date you.


I second this so, so much. It's a cliche, but you really do need to be okay with yourself before you can be with anyone else. Instability isn't something you can expect to burden another person with. It doesn't matter so much if you're shy and don't have many friends, what matters is that you have a solid sense of self. Having friends no isn't necessarily a dealbreaker by any means - there are a lot of girls out there with no friends, too. But toxic insecurity is. You need to know who you are and what you're about.


----------



## dal user

RelinquishedHell said:


> A lot of guys on here are so insecure, they would not be able to handle having a girlfriend.
> 
> Saying "woe is me" all the time isn't going to get you anywhere OP. There are girls out there that would date a guy with no friends. As long as you are a genuine person that isn't looking to only get in her pants ( Which is what every girl is used to and comes to expect from every guy that shows interest ) and you have some self confidence and you are secure with where you stand as a person, then there will be a girl out there that will find comfort in you and want to date you.


True, I just dont think I'll ever be comfortable with myself.


lisbeth said:


> I have an asymmetrical face too and used to fixate on it the way you do. But it's only mental illness making you do that. Other people don't notice as much as you think they do. People take in an overall impression of your face instead of seeing every detail.


You are good looking though so you can get away with it. I cant, im a man and I dont have a manly face, its a well known fact that the majority of girls go for a guy with a symmetrical face and good genetics. Strong jaw, prominent jaw etc, if any man has those features then he'll get tonnes of girls where as if not then pffffft.

I've been hideously ugly since I was a kid, puberty didn't do me any favours. I have bells palsy so one of my eyes is wonky and its really noticeable, especially when I laugh, my right eye compleyely closes where as the left one doesn't and i talk out of the left side of my mouth so automatically thats gonna **** me up for life, its not attractive and employees are jot gonna employ someone who resembles a member of the mutant cast out of the wrong turn are they?


----------



## tbyrfan

Rich91 said:


> I've been hideously ugly since I was a kid, puberty didn't do me any favours. I have bells palsy so one of my eyes is wonky and its really noticeable, especially when I laugh, my right eye compleyely closes where as the left one doesn't and i talk out of the left side of my mouth so automatically thats gonna **** me up for life, its not attractive and employees are jot gonna employ someone who resembles a member of the mutant cast out of the wrong turn are they?


How long have you had Bell's Palsy? I thought it was temporary for most people. Some people can take a while to recover, though.


----------



## dal user

tbyrfan said:


> How long have you had Bell's Palsy? I thought it was temporary for most people. Some people can take a while to recover, though.


I dont know

I just noticed it by chance in a photo, my mouth was lopsided when I smiled and one of my eyes was cimpletely closed, I feel so much of a ****ing freak and I want to die because of it.


----------



## tbyrfan

Rich91 said:


> I dont know
> 
> I just noticed it by chance in a photo, my mouth was lopsided when I smiled and one of my eyes was cimpletely closed, I feel so much of a ****ing freak and I want to die because of it.


If you do have it, the prognosis is good. I really hope it gets better for you.


----------



## dal user

tbyrfan said:


> If you do have it, the prognosis is good. I really hope it gets better for you.


Whats the prognosis?


----------



## dal user

BigBlueMoon said:


> If my first opportunity to be with a woman was at the age of 24, I would just turn her down. I will not be able to enter a relationship with a woman at that age if I don't get experience by then.


Why not?


----------



## tbyrfan

Rich91 said:


> Whats the prognosis?


Most people begin recovering within about 3 weeks, and the vast majority are back to normal within 3 to 6 months. It's very rare for it to be permanent.


----------



## dal user

tbyrfan said:


> Most people begin recovering within about 3 weeks, and the vast majority are back to normal within 3 to 6 months. It's very rare for it to be permanent.


Oh right well I do hope it is not pdrmanent then.


----------



## zstandig

I'd hate to say it but often times couples meet each other through their friends networks. So they may unintentionally or intentionally play match maker. 

*Oh hi conveniently single male friend number 3, have I ever introduced you to so and so conveniently single female a acquaintance number 47?*

and sometimes it works out.


----------



## dal user

zstandig said:


> I'd hate to say it but often times couples meet each other through their friends networks. So they may unintentionally or intentionally play match maker.
> 
> *Oh hi conveniently single male friend number 3, have I ever introduced you to so and so conveniently single female a acquaintance number 47?*
> 
> and sometimes it works out.


Very true


----------



## The Phantom Pain

Here's one thing I've learned: it's not what you lack to get a relationship, it's what you're insecure about.

And if it's one thing that will nix a relationship before it even starts, it's that.


----------



## handsaway

I think you need to work on yourself and your life before looking for a girlfriend.


----------



## AnotherLoner

I agree. A girl probably isnt going to wanna be with someone who is unemployed or not in school, unless you have plans and ambitions in the pipe line.


----------



## wherecanigo

Just Lurking said:


> I wonder how many girls on this site (or any introverted/shy types at all) would agree with these sentiments.
> 
> You "hear a lot of people say this" - Well, you know what, a lot of people talk out of their ***, and it's all hot air too. F*** them.
> 
> *It's not so much about having friends (or any at all) as it is having your own life. Hobbies, work, family, a passion, whatever else you do other than spending time with your girlfriend -- as long as it's something.
> *
> 
> No no no no no no no no.
> 
> There are tons of ways to make friends after high school. Most of them require you to actually be, you know, somewhat social, but.. yeah. Volunteer. Take a night school course. Organize a forum meetup. Join some groups (sports?). Try meetup.com. Network through family. Lots of options.


that is a really good point. I would add that based on your post (the op) you think it is weird you have no friends. I dont either, and while it is weird in the sense it's unnormal, if you perceive it to be weird and treat it that way, what other way can a girl interpret it than to see it as being weird? It is the same as any other situation, if you go into a movie thinking it will suck, it probably will. If you think negative and depressive thoughts, you are probably going to be depressed. If you think it is a major issue and very weird that you have no friends, how do you think it will appear to her ?

I agree with op, it is very difficult to make friends after high school. If you don't have them already it's pretty rare to make them. People are busy, work, school, etc, and already have well developed long term friendships with other people. Pretty hard to break into a new group of friends.


----------



## The Phantom Pain

> Staff Edit


Bull crap that's often uttered by people grasping for straws.

You can still be popular, but if you're awkward around women, it's not going to happen.

Same if you're good with women, but socially awkward around everyone else. You'll have no problems dating then. All that counts is how you are one on one with them. Friends only help when it comes to introducing but everything else you're on your own.

People need to just quit jumping to random conclusions based off limited experiences.


----------



## Brandeezy

AnotherLoner said:


> I agree. A girl probably isnt going to wanna be with someone who is unemployed or not in school, unless you have plans and ambitions in the pipe line.


The thing is once you get a job, it'll be "What type of job is it"? Tell her you work at Wendy's and bam! You're done. You can't win


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## dal user

wherecanigo said:


> that is a really good point. I would add that based on your post (the op) you think it is weird you have no friends. I dont either, and while it is weird in the sense it's unnormal, if you perceive it to be weird and treat it that way, what other way can a girl interpret it than to see it as being weird? It is the same as any other situation, if you go into a movie thinking it will suck, it probably will. If you think negative and depressive thoughts, you are probably going to be depressed. If you think it is a major issue and very weird that you have no friends, how do you think it will appear to her ?
> 
> I agree with op, it is very difficult to make friends after high school. If you don't have them already it's pretty rare to make them. People are busy, work, school, etc, and already have well developed long term friendships with other people. Pretty hard to break into a new group of friends.


I agree

school is the starting fiundation of which you start making friends and being in a socisl circle. Once you leave school thats it, you never make friends again. Its no good to me when people say join a club or go to night school but the peopke there will already have friends so im just gonna have to face being friendless. I cant change it now, its too late to make friends for me now.


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## wherecanigo

Rich91 said:


> I agree
> 
> school is the starting fiundation of which you start making friends and being in a socisl circle. Once you leave school thats it, you never make friends again. Its no good to me when people say join a club or go to night school but the peopke there will already have friends so im just gonna have to face being friendless. I cant change it now, its too late to make friends for me now.


it is tough man but you can find a girl. if you give up and say **** it my life sucks you will not find one, guaranteed. you will still be depressed/anxious but try to have a positive attitude when youre out in the world, at school or wherever, and be open to initiate a conversation. If you are in a ****ty mindstate hating your life you just put off this vibe man and no one will even speak to you. I know from experience. Stay positive and realize your life is not over. Read up on stoic philosophy. Reaching tranquility and being content may involve not desiring things you dont have but learning to desire the things you do have.


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## will30

You have to lie. Lie about your accomplishments, lie about your past. When they get to know you and you tell them the truth, then if they reject you then at least you got to experience it.


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## dal user

will30 said:


> You have to lie. Lie about your accomplishments, lie about your past. When they get to know you and you tell them the truth, then if they reject you then at least you got to experience it.


Lying wont get me very far


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## Putin

If girls see you alone all the time, they'll think you're not socially savvy. And girls HATE that.


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## Putin

Rich91 said:


> Could be true but usually girls are hostile towards guys who have no friends and no status


Not just hostile, flat out repulsed.



RelinquishedHell said:


> A lot of guys on here are so insecure, they would not be able to handle having a girlfriend.
> 
> Saying "woe is me" all the time isn't going to get you anywhere OP. There are girls out there that would date a guy with no friends. As long as you are a genuine person that isn't looking to only get in her pants ( Which is what every girl is used to and comes to expect from every guy that shows interest ) and you have some self confidence and you are secure with where you stand as a person, then there will be a girl out there that will find comfort in you and want to date you.


Lol, id like to know where I can find these girls. There are probably some girls who are willing to overlook a guys lack of a social life, but for the vast majority of them its a huge turnoff.


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## bobby.

Check out the story I'm writing on the subject. This is a small snippet: http://justpaste.it/dn8m


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## Imbored21

Depends on how old you are. If you are in highschool no girl will date a friendless loser.


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## komorikun

I actually pray that whatever guy I date has almost no friends and is not close to his family. Preferably his mother is dead too. I hate hanging out with my exes' friends and family. So f'in boring and it's not like a once a month thing. It's like a once or more a week torture. I particularly hate it because I have to be on my best behavior and not say certain things.


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## Bikini Condom

She thinks since you have no life that you will get too clingy and try to control her life too much.Like you are always calling her to go somewhere while she is busy and having no friends means your social skills are deplorable and she will get bored of you quickly and start cheating on you.So get some friends dude seriously.


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## dal user

Bikini Condom said:


> She thinks since you have no life that you will get too clingy and try to control her life too much.Like you are always calling her to go somewhere while she is busy and having no friends means your social skills are deplorable and she will get bored of you quickly and start cheating on you.So get some friends dude seriously.


I cant get friends now, its too late.


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## tooafraid

No friends means not going anywhere which equals boring. Any girls out there like a guy who has little life experience?


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## The Phantom Pain

Oh and another thing (not that I wanted to bump this), but I always wondered where on earth people got that "building a social circle" will in anyway improve your chances of maintaining a successful relationship, especially if you lack self confidence and you have SA.

All that's going to happen then is she's going to see your more assertive and outgoing friends, and want to jump ship immediately, so you're really just building in house competition in that sense.

That's why I say work on your confidence *first*. Dating without it will leave you exposed in a major way.


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## HitGirl

Oob said:


> Check out the story I'm writing on the subject. This is a small snippet: http://justpaste.it/dn8m


Did you write that?


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## DeniseAfterAll

Rich91 said:


> I hear a lot of people say this and I really do believe it to be true. It gives off the creepy loner vibe and signals that im a loser who's not worthy of being called a friend by anyone.
> 
> I also believe that after you leave high school you never make friends again, like you will never make friends at work and if you do chances are you never had any in the first place. Unfortunately for me its game over now i'll never make any new friends and because of this and other things i'll never get any girls, also being a virgin at 21 does not help.
> 
> What are other peoples views and opinions on this?


I promise , I'll do you guys this favour . I'm going to disprove this theory .

I have no close friends , alright . Only my parents said Happy Birthday to me . . and random strangers whom I had told about my birthday . . just so you get an idea .

I'm not into guys (I wouldn't be single if I was , that's for sure). I have to play the same game that heterosexual men have to play . . . that's another handicap , see .

Essentially . . once you've found somebody who can give you sweet dreams at night . . and keep the nightmares away . . you'll be able to skip the whole process of introducing yourself to strangers and making new friends . . cause it'll just happen all by itself . . and exponentially so . And why would you even Want to ? :teeth

That's one strategy out of the dozens . Just focus all your energy on attracting a partner , as opposed to waiting until you 'have enough friends' . . cause it takes a while .

I personally wouldn't care if my partner was a loner . All the better . . keeps all the noisy ****ers away . . and you can just focus on each other .


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## mr octopus

How is this thread 7 pages?

Not having fun? Why not? Go have fun.

*"Get scared. It will do you good. Smoke a bit, stare blankly at some ceilings, beat your head against some walls, refuse to see some people, paint and write. Get scared some more. Allow your little mind to do nothing but function. Stay inside, go out - I don't care what you'll do; but stay scared as hell. You will never be able to experience everything. So, please, do poetical justice to your soul and simply experience yourself."- Camus
*

Go on, experience yourself. If you're lonely in your own company then you're in bad company.

On that note, I am such a selfish and jealous lover and know I would want to keep my partner to myself. I too am a virgin at 20 and it really does not bother me. Living life and enjoying myself is much more important. That doesn't mean I don't get the ***** thrown at me every once in a while. I never accept (Partly because I don't know how to flirt -- couldn't keep a straight face) because that would require me to be the person they think I am, which I am most assuredly not. I am content with being a wild, enlightened, seemingly insane person. Sometimes dead pan and at other times full of life. Until I meet someone content with my own personality I will continue to work on making myself happy and learning how to be less of a jealous partner.

Love yourself. Do what you love. Soon you will be surrounded by people who genuinely love you. It may take a very long time but you should be doing things for you not for anyone else so that if and when those people find and befriend you, how long it took for them to find you will be the least of your worries.

**Who knew P****, was filtered? Clearly I was talking about my kitty. ..Errm. No,_ your _kitty. Ahh! Someone's kitty!


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## dal user

you need these in this order for a relationship

good aesthetics. big bulbous noses and weak jaws make someone undateable, especially males.
confidence, this is a must have.
friends and lots of them. you need to be popular
good job
money
intelligence

thats the truth, anyone who says im not right is a liar.


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## mr octopus

Just confidence. 

Everything else is secondary. 

I had a girlfriend for 6 months in HS. I didn't think I looked good. I didn't have confidence. I wasn't popular. I had a few core friends. I had no job. I didn't have money. I was smart though but not as smart as she was. 

It was a **** relationship but still a relationship. Fell apart more because we had nothing in common than because of me not having one of your aforementioned characteristics. Doesn't matter almost had sex 3 times. lol Almost...


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## HitGirl

Oob said:


> [Edit]-shyrv6


So what's the lack of empathy part? Not falling for guys that secretly take s***s on them?

I sometimes wonder what guys like you would do if they found a girl that you saw as different.

*Staff edit: Post and replies edited*


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## mr octopus

HitGirl said:


> So what's the lack of empathy part? Not falling for guys that secretly take s***s on them?
> 
> I sometimes wonder what guys like you would do if they found a girl that you saw as different.


I used to think what Oob thinks now, and for some women it is very true. Though not for all (obviously). I once took my frustration out on women. Now, I realize it is (or was) a ****ty defense mechanism.

The point is you're both right. Oob call your mother and tell her that you love her. Hit Girl, go fight crime! My neighborhood needs help. D:


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## HitGirl

mr octopus said:


> I used to think what Oob thinks now, and for some women it is very true. Though not for all (obviously). I once took my frustration out on women. Now, I realize it is (or was) a ****ty defense mechanism.
> 
> The point is you're both right. Oob call your mother and tell her that you love her. Hit Girl, go fight crime! My neighborhood needs help. D:


lol, I'll go do that! I've been craving to bash someone's head in lately, so that just might help :lol


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## komorikun

HitGirl said:


> So what's the lack of empathy part? Not falling for guys that secretly take s***s on them?
> 
> I sometimes wonder what guys like you would do if they found a girl that you saw as different.


I made a thread about that:

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...en-misogynists-get-into-relationships-208940/


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## HitGirl

komorikun said:


> I made a thread about that:
> 
> http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...en-misogynists-get-into-relationships-208940/


I'm surprised it didn't get locked or anything. I imagine if a thread like that would get pretty nasty if started today looking at the site just even in the last few months.

I think it's laughable though how some of them try to justify it and think it's doing something for them. It's a little sad many of them have been rejected enough to feel that way but I'm sorry, the moment they start talking **** like that is the moment I lose sympathy.

I can't stand people who think one way and then act another way for someone else which is exactly what a lot of them would have to do to procure a relationship.


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## bobby.

HitGirl said:


> I'm surprised it didn't get locked or anything. I imagine if a thread like that would get pretty nasty if started today looking at the site just even in the last few months.
> 
> I think it's laughable though how some of them try to justify it and think it's doing something for them. It's a little sad many of them have been rejected enough to feel that way but I'm sorry, the moment they start talking **** like that is the moment I lose sympathy.
> 
> I can't stand people who think one way and then act another way for someone else which is exactly what a lot of them would have to do to procure a relationship.


I still hold some sliver of hope that one day I'll find someone who doesn't conform to my general view of women, and for whom I won't need to act like a chimp to impress. In the meantime, I refuse to do what is widely considered necessary to attract women - the competing for social dominance among other males, i.e. what women call acting 'confident'.


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## BigBlueMoon

Oob said:


> I still hold some sliver of hope that one day I'll find someone who doesn't conform to my general view of women, and for whom I won't need to act like a chimp to impress. In the meantime, I refuse to do what is widely considered necessary to attract women - the competing for social dominance among other males, i.e. what women call acting 'confident'.


I like this guy.


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## Salvador Dali

Hey, guess what? There's roughly 7 billion humans currently occupying the Earth, with roughly 2 being born every second. The UK currently holds around 64 million people, with one being born every 30-60 seconds.

With humans outnumbering the estimated global population of feral pigeons, wouldn't you think that there would be at least one woman on the planet that couldn't give a rat's a** if a guy had a bunch of friends or not?

Honestly, every human is an individual, no matter how much they seem to conform to society's "norms". Instead of having a simplistic mindset of "oh, girls hate loners and therefore all girls will hate me", you should start focusing on yourself rather than what it is you THINK other people perceive you as. Constantly worrying about what other people think of you is a very self-defeating attitude. If you're worried about never having friends/girlfriends, then it's probably your mindset that will prevent you from achieving this, confirmation bias and all.

Just learn to shrug off the people that don't accept you and focus on working on yourself, your personality, your hobbies, your social skills, your career, etc.


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## bobby.

Salvador Dali said:


> Hey, guess what? There's roughly 7 billion humans currently occupying the Earth, with roughly 2 being born every second. The UK currently holds around 64 million people, with one being born every 30-60 seconds.
> 
> With humans outnumbering the estimated global population of feral pigeons, wouldn't you think that there would be at least one woman on the planet that couldn't give a rat's a** if a guy had a bunch of friends or not?
> 
> Honestly, every human is an individual, no matter how much they seem to conform to society's "norms". Instead of having a simplistic mindset of "oh, girls hate loners and therefore all girls will hate me", you should start focusing on yourself rather than what it is you THINK other people perceive you as. Constantly worrying about what other people think of you is a very self-defeating attitude. If you're worried about never having friends/girlfriends, then it's probably your mindset that will prevent you from achieving this, confirmation bias and all.
> 
> Just learn to shrug off the people that don't accept you and focus on working on yourself, your personality, your hobbies, your social skills, your career, etc.


Another woman refusing to acknowledge the misery and suffering of men who either fare badly in the chimp-like dominance contest or simply refuse to participate in it. These men vastly outnumber the kinds of women who are willing to date them. There aren't enough such women to go around.

Could the same advice apply to ugly girls too? "How dare you complain about men ignoring you and always selecting your prettier friend instead! There are surely men out there who will find you attractive despite your looks. Men are individuals; there are no discernible patterns in their sexual preferences. Don't be so sexist!".


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## nothing else

Salvador Dali said:


> Hey, guess what? There's roughly 7 billion humans currently occupying the Earth, with roughly 2 being born every second. The UK currently holds around 64 million people, with one being born every 30-60 seconds.
> 
> With humans outnumbering the estimated global population of feral pigeons, wouldn't you think that there would be at least one woman on the planet that couldn't give a rat's a** if a guy had a bunch of friends or not?
> 
> Honestly, every human is an individual, no matter how much they seem to conform to society's "norms". Instead of having a simplistic mindset of "oh, girls hate loners and therefore all girls will hate me", you should start focusing on yourself rather than what it is you THINK other people perceive you as. Constantly worrying about what other people think of you is a very self-defeating attitude. If you're worried about never having friends/girlfriends, then it's probably your mindset that will prevent you from achieving this, confirmation bias and all.
> 
> Just learn to shrug off the people that don't accept you and focus on working on yourself, your personality, your hobbies, your social skills, your career, etc.


I focus on my schooling, hobbies, career, etc. but then people just view me as disinterested and stuck up. So you can never win anyway.


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## mr octopus

If people don't like what they perceive to be you then it it's their loss for not getting to know who you think you are and who you really are.

People in the past and probably still now, view me as smug. Those same people get to know me and we develop great lasting friendships wherein we can talk about anything. If people don't enjoy my company (or your company for that matter) it's no reason to pull hair.

Life isn't about winning. It's about comfort.

The dude abides.






On topic: Competing for social dominance is not confidence. Confidence may help in that arena but it is something else entirely. Confidence is a belief in or faith in something or someone. You believe that you have power go through with an action despite the results, that's self-confidence.

Here's a quotation from Raj Persaud ripped straight from the Wiki:


> Promise yourself, no matter how difficult the problem life throws at you, that you will try as hard as you can to help yourself. You acknowledge that sometimes your efforts to help yourself may not result in success, as often being properly rewarded is not in your control.


Having friends should not affect your ability to have a girlfriend. Having a girlfriend should not affect your ability to have friends. It is more likely that you will have one if you have the other and exposure in an environment that is conducive to socialization such as school or work. If you do not take part in those activities you can take solace in hobbies and passions in which you'd be enjoying yourself regardless of being with others or not.

Through skateboarding I have met so many new people and have enjoyed life much more. However even on days when I am skating alone I still feel good about myself because I'm doing what I love. As long as you're not actively doing something to stave off women/men and friends you'll most likely make friends and find a partner. As previously noted, the world's a big place and while India or China may not be in your backyard there are at least a couple thousand people in your city and the ability is there for you to meet more beyond that. (Hello internet!) Acknowledge all the reasons not to do something and then go do it anyway. 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-confidence#cite_note-2


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## HitGirl

Oob said:


> I still hold some sliver of hope that one day I'll find someone who doesn't conform to my general view of women, and for whom I won't need to act like a chimp to impress. In the meantime, I refuse to do what is widely considered necessary to attract women - *the competing for social dominance among other males*, i.e. what women call acting 'confident'.


Let me guess: More "social status" BS?

All I'm going to say is you'll never make it with a mentality like that, but keep it up if it makes you happy...


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## dal user

HitGirl said:


> Let me guess: More "social status" BS?
> 
> All I'm going to say is you'll never make it with a mentality like that, but keep it up if it makes you happy...


Its true. Anybody needs social status before getting a girlfriend or boyfriend. People who are shy or have SA wont be bothered by it but outgoing people will be. Theres 3 main things a man needs to be considered relationship material, these are...

1. Have a good looking symmetrical face, strong jaw and chin and that will have girls swooning towards you.

2. Confidence and lots of it.

3. Loads of friends and social status.

Things that girls find unnatractive in a man are big noses, weak chins and jawline, crooked teeth and smile, also gummy smiles, crows feet around the eyes aka laughter lines. This is why I'll never stand a chance because I have all of the above plus I look really unhygenic even though im not, people tell me its cos of what I eat but thats BS, eating crappy foods cant make me look like I do, it can **** up my insides but not my outsides. Im just not suitable for a relationship all together, im not talking just in terms of looks either, im very dumb, im not very interesting and I dont have a personality and I cant talk properly, I mumble and cant pronounce certain words properly, I really am a retard. I cant even do tge most simplest things in life.


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## hasbeenpugged

Rich91 said:


> Its true. Anybody needs social status before getting a girlfriend or boyfriend. People who are shy or have SA wont be bothered by it but outgoing people will be. Theres 3 main things a man needs to be considered relationship material, these are...
> 
> 1. Have a good looking symmetrical face, strong jaw and chin and that will have girls swooning towards you.
> 
> 2. Confidence and lots of it.
> 
> 3. Loads of friends and social status.
> 
> Things that girls find unnatractive in a man are big noses, weak chins and jawline, crooked teeth and smile, also gummy smiles, crows feet around the eyes aka laughter lines. This is why I'll never stand a chance because I have all of the above plus I look really unhygenic even though im not, people tell me its cos of what I eat but thats BS, eating crappy foods cant make me look like I do, it can **** up my insides but not my outsides. Im just not suitable for a relationship all together, im not talking just in terms of looks either, im very dumb, im not very interesting and I dont have a personality and I cant talk properly, I mumble and cant pronounce certain words properly, I really am a retard. I cant even do the most simplest things in life.


I think the only attribute you might need to think about is confidence. You don't need a lot of it. Confidence changes your facial expression, the way you move, you own your body and thoughts. This is attractive.
And then people will be curious about you.
I have met such people. They exist.

Improve yourself so others can see you as the person you are. Because right now, You are making yourself unapproachable. Your thoughts and worries are plainly written on your face, they are visible to everyone.


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## Putin

Oob said:


> I still hold some sliver of hope that one day I'll find someone who doesn't conform to my general view of women, and for whom I won't need to act like a chimp to impress. In the meantime, I refuse to do what is widely considered necessary to attract women - the competing for social dominance among other males, i.e. what women call acting 'confident'.


Girls like that are in very high demand and very low supply. It seems that there is no hope for us


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## tooafraid

Any decent looking girls out there with no SA willing to date a man with no friends? Are we all blowing this out of proportion and such girls do exist, or are we destined to be ignored and friendzoned automatically without even a second thought?


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## dal user

hasbeenpugged said:


> I think the only attribute you might need to think about is confidence. You don't need a lot of it. Confidence changes your facial expression, the way you move, you own your body and thoughts. This is attractive.
> And then people will be curious about you.
> I have met such people. They exist.
> 
> Improve yourself so others can see you as the person you are. Because right now, You are making yourself unapproachable. Your thoughts and worries are plainly written on your face, they are visible to everyone.


Very true, confidence is sexy. I like a girl who is confident, this might sound weird but it turns me on and makes me more interested in her. I dont think confidence would mask my ugliness though so im never gonna get a girl, I have a few abnormalities on my face like a weak chin and stuff.


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## Bedouin

HanSolo said:


> I'm doomed
> 
> I know 1 single girl, tried to hangout with her and her friend=my roommate , they stopped talking out loud and texted back and forth instead....
> 
> So point taken.


:O What, in your presence so that they could communicate without speaking out loud and having you hear?


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## hasbeenpugged

Rich91 said:


> Very true, confidence is sexy. I like a girl who is confident, this might sound weird but it turns me on and makes me more interested in her. I dont think confidence would mask my ugliness though so im never gonna get a girl, I have a few abnormalities on my face like a weak chin and stuff.


Yeah, I hear you. :|
But hopefully, you will see past that someday, even though it seems near impossible. We gotta work with what we got...


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## HanSolo

well then if a girl starts to like u, and it comes up
"so what do u and your friends do???"

"uhhhmmm.......stuff???"

then maybe talk about online acquaintances/friends like here, or even fictional characters that seem like friends


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## Koloz

Yeah this is exactly why I think I might be able to get a one night stand and not a gf.


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## dal user

HanSolo said:


> well then if a girl starts to like u, and it comes up
> "so what do u and your friends do???"
> 
> "uhhhmmm.......stuff???"
> 
> then maybe talk about online acquaintances/friends like here, or even fictional characters that seem like friends


I have no friends here and why would I tell her about posting here?

I think your post was sarcastic anyway haha



Koloz said:


> Yeah this is exactly why I think I might be able to get a one night stand and not a gf.


Even one night stands would be tough to get I think, I might be wrong though.


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## tooafraid

I've seen popular guys with lonely girls and friendless guy with friendless girls. But for the life for me, I've yet to see a popular girl with a guy with no friends.


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## mr octopus

This thread is the exact reason why I stopped posting here a couple months ago. SAS is so depressing and amotivational.


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## dal user

mr octopus said:


> This thread is the exact reason why I stopped posting here a couple months ago. SAS is so depressing and amotivational.


Its the truth though. I feel the same as you, I wanna stop posting but I've got nothing else to do with my time.


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## Mradkn

Agreed. 

I always day-dreaming about one day getting a cute GF... a dream that is quite laughable in my situation.


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## Blue Dino

The fact that if a person is judging their potential bf/gf, based purely on "how many friends they have" instead of how good of a guy/girl they are, it pretty much means the person is together with you purely for "keeping up with appearance" rather than who you REALLY ARE. Thus not a person worth being with. 

It's sad how so many people are being lured into the trend of "what a society or norm typically expects of us" and most people typically give in just to be apart of "that norm". Though I guess this really is just human nature.


----------

