# Why are girls attracted to jerks?



## Mindflyer (Mar 25, 2007)

I'm sorry to use a subject name that some women probably will find offensive, but it needs to be done. I have been reading the relationships part of the forum for some time now and there are tons of girls here who either think they are ugly and no guy wants them, or, they waste their time with a big jerk and then complain that all guys are jerks in a sweeping generalization. There seems to be this common theme where a girl posts about how her BF looks at porn a lot or flirts with other girls, while the nice guys like me who would NEVER do that stuff in a relationship are just sitting here scratching our heads. 

Ladies, there are good guys out there! Really!!

Here is a run-down on what I am like:

-I am fairly decent looking(not really hot but decent)
-I dress nice(rather than look like a "low-status" male as described by Pilinski)
-I have a strong desire to have children some day
-I intend to raise my children to the best of my ability - I would raise them to be respectable people while making sure to give them room to be their own person.
-I don't beat women, nor do I ever intend to. (Some girls seem to just automatically assume a guy is a wife-beater until proven otherwise)
-I would NEVER cheat on a partner.
-I would NEVER use porn while in a relationship(although I do now.. but I have to because of my sexual frustration... so sue me)
-I respect women just as much as I respect other men.
-The last time I really lost my temper was probably when I was still just a kid. In other words, I am not a hot head to gets pissed off all the time.
-I have a strong desire to just sit there with that specail girl and gaze into her eyes... hold her hand... hugs...
-I am not obsessed with trying anal sex like so many guys are. I just never really had any desire at all to stick it in there..
-I have NO turn-ons with dominance based sex (like where the guy holds the girl by her hair or slaps her really hard)
-I DO HAVE a desire to just hold on to a girl really closely and just... I dunno, look in her eyes, touch her hair, talk with her, listen to her, just be with her.

Okay girls, your job is to read that list and tell me which points are turn-offs for you. What items in that list are traits that look unnattractive in a guy? Or is the list missing items that would make me more complete?

Or does this list look good? If that is so then what do I need to do so that girls see these traits in me more? Do you live in California? Maybe we can meet  

A co-worker once said to me "I like girls because they are soft and have lots of holes". 
Offended? SO WAS I!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

Hey now, nothing wrong with anal sex or watching porn while in a relationship. If a guy and a girl would like to try anal sex, good for them. If one of them just isn't up for anal sex, well hopefully out of respect the other person will acknowledge that insecurity. Now for porn, hey what if your parnter is away for a few weeks? Heh. Or a couple could play some porn to spice their sex up. However, I think that any porn that your partner doesn't know about might lead to trouble. Just be open with each other with everything. Honesty is important.

But yeah sorry, I'm just sniping away at a few of your points. I think most people are generally decent people. (You seem like a good guy.) But, for us anxious people we can't quite communicate with people we are attracted to. So it's a bit harder for us. But don't give up! Never!


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

I've had a couple of guys who were obsessed with trying anal. Not that I haven't tried it, but it's something I never want to do again. No means no!

I don't think there's anything wrong with porn. I enjoy that myself.


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## nesteroff (Nov 14, 2003)

I'm not attracted to jerks. I find them disgusting. 

You sound like a great guy. 

I met a guy who sounds similar to you on the internet. We talked for three months before meeting. We shared our life stories, dreams, goals, thoughts, everything. He is truly a nice guy. He is everything I've always wanted in a man. 

I had only jerks before him. I think sometimes women need to mature a little, often through experience, to realize what a good man truly is. Jerks seem to put more effort into appearing desireable, as they have no problems playing mind games. Women sometimes have to learn to discern what is bull**** and what isn't. Sometimes we make mistakes at first. This doesn't mean women LIKE jerks. Be patient, a girl who knows what a good man is is out there, and hopefully you will find her.  Give it time.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Mindflyer said:


> A co-worker once said to me "I like girls because they are soft and have lots of holes".


Sounds reasonable. :lol

You seem like a nice guy, good luck.


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

You are placing yourself above other guys, which I would find unattractive as a girl. You made this list and I think you know you are trying to appeal to women. You are saying you use porn out of sexual frustration... Porn guilt is probably worse than porn addiction. Why do you have to make yourself out to be so great? 

And is this Piliniski guy the HighStatusMale.com one? If I was a girl, I'd definately feel weird about a guy that read that crap, just as I'd feel weird about a girl that took dating advice from women's magazines. 

You are so obviously trying to appeal to what you believe women want, it hurts. If you get to know some women, as in friendships, you'd be surprised what they like.


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## Steven G. (May 18, 2006)

hehe that's a good list, sounds like something I would make...

Okay, okay so you would make a great boyfriend to someone, so would I. But that's besides the point. Women like confidence, and it just so happens these so called "jerks" are confident. Have you tryed asking a girl out? They don't care how great of a guy you are. If you can't stand up and show women you want them, they'll date someone who can.

Just remember women are not attracted to jerks, there're attracted to confidence. Not SA guys, but that can be fixed right? *swallows a tablet of Zoloft* 

On a side note I used to try to make myself out to be so great as well becuase I wanted to be appealing to everyone, in the end I was only hurting myself. Forget what women want, just do you.


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## nesteroff (Nov 14, 2003)

Try meeting girls online. Just a tip.


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## moneta (Jan 18, 2007)

lol i'd want a guy who was philosophical, deep thinker, like socrates.

too bad they don't exist irl. all guys think about (as teens at my age) is sex and more sex. it's depressing.

edit: mine was off topic

just saying what I personally look for, not a jerk definitely.


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## AdamCanada (Dec 6, 2003)

BeNice said:


> You are placing yourself above other guys, which I would find unattractive as a girl. You made this list and I think you know you are trying to appeal to women. You are saying you use porn out of sexual frustration... Porn guilt is probably worse than porn addiction. Why do you have to make yourself out to be so great?
> 
> And is this Piliniski guy the HighStatusMale.com one? If I was a girl, I'd definately feel weird about a guy that read that crap, just as I'd feel weird about a girl that took dating advice from women's magazines.
> 
> You are so obviously trying to appeal to what you believe women want, it hurts. If you get to know some women, as in friendships, you'd be surprised what they like.


:agree

and there isn't anything wrong with losing your temper every so often, gotta happen somtime just don't hurt anyone.

i don't dress nice either, i know id look and feel like a moron if i did, so i dress how i want to.


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

> -I am not obsessed with trying anal sex like so many guys are. I just never really had any desire at all to stick it in there..


I wasn't aware that guys were obsessed with anal sex :con



> -I have a strong desire to just sit there with that specail girl and gaze into her eyes... hold her hand... hugs...


 :um Hugs are great but gazing into her eyes might be a little creepy... that's just me though :hide



> -I dress nice(rather than look like a "low-status" male as described by Pilinski)


How a guy dresses is only important to me as long as he looks comfortable in what he's wearing. I don't go for guys that are dressed up by any stretch of the imagination but that's just me...

For the record, in the past, yes, I ended up with jerks only because that's the only type that paid attention to me. Now that I'm older and hopefully wiser, I tend towards shy, reserved men who are meek and unassuming outwardly.



> I'm sorry to use a subject name that some women probably will find offensive, but it needs to be done.


There are ways of expressing yourself where you don't need to try to piss off people.


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## WendyR (Jan 20, 2007)

aww, I think you sound like a sweetheart. Maybe a little too young and far away for me though


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## LoneLioness (Nov 16, 2003)

Half of that list I don't even consider to be necessary traits of a nice guy. What does what someone likes to do in bed or how they dress or whether or not they want kids have to do with being a nice guy? I don't think not losing your temper has anything to do with being a nice guy either. I want a guy thats somewhat emotional, not crazily so, but if someone does something really bad to him, I want him to get pissed off about it. This doesn't mean I like jerks. I just want a guy that wants the same thing as me and is an emotional person.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

Mindflyer: Let's talk.


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## aviator99 (Nov 23, 2006)

Not all girls go for jerks, not all guys are jerks, nor do you have to act like one to get a girl. 

You can have such an appealing list and even have trees in your backyard that grow $100 bills and a 24 karat gold plated lamborghini, but when you're at the restaurant eating your dinner and keeping that yourself, nobody will ever know. All that is out the window - and, yes, I know those two examples are likely non-relevent to -most :b - uh, ahem, women 

Nobody knows you, thats the problem. Guess what, plenty of people have the same problem. I too have this issue. I have a hard time putting myself out there, too. I'm just a laid back guy whom just keeps to thyself and, because I work at home a majority of the time (online business), obviously I dont get out much. Small town anyways, if I did. Hee haw farmland so getting out would still be useless.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Mindflyer said:


> A co-worker once said to me "I like girls because they are soft and have lots of holes".
> Offended? SO WAS I!!!!!!!!!!!


:lol thats not offensive. im sure the guy said that as a joke. besides, they are soft and have three....


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## Anonymous Dude (Mar 25, 2007)

When you are shy/anxious around the opposite sex for long enough you start to hold a grudge. "How can THAT guy be getting chicks and i'm stuck here with no one, i'm good looking enough, nice, smart, etc.". Trust me, I still have trouble with finding women tolerable sometimes, I get so angry with my bad experiences with women (and i'm only 16 mind you). I have trouble reading female posts on this board too. Girls like guys who are confident, who can make the first move, and more.

I'd like to just cuddle and hold a girl close, oh, there's a guy with his tongue down a girls throat. 

In our society women are just more passive, and it's easier for a shy woman to get in a relationship with a man, much more than it is for us guys. Yeah it sucks, but it's just the way it is.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

LoneLioness said:


> What does what someone likes to do in bed or how they dress or whether or not they want kids have to do with being a nice guy?


I don't know. Kinky girls would likely think a kinky guy was pretty nice instead of some vanilla fellow who just thinks she's weird. (Rent "Secetary" and see how the female lead gets real annoyed when she desperately tries to get her BF to spank her, but he won't.)

As for dress, as long as the guy is clean & presentable I don't see the problem with casual dress. Now if he wears stained & stinky jeans & a T-shirt with some obscene saying on it to meet her parents for the first time that would be a problem.

As for kids, that's something that a lot of women want so a guy who wants kids is viewed as a real catch. Of course, there are women who don't want kids to match up with guys who don't want them either.



LoneLioness said:


> I don't think not losing your temper has anything to do with being a nice guy either. I want a guy thats somewhat emotional, not crazily so, but if someone does something really bad to him, I want him to get pissed off about it. This doesn't mean I like jerks. I just want a guy that wants the same thing as me and is an emotional person.


I can see not wanting someone who's a raving loon who goes off anywhere over anything, but most folks get upset from time to time. I've found that even women can lose their temper.


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

LoneLioness said:


> I just want a guy that wants the same thing as me


That might be a bit of a problem.


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## Mindflyer (Mar 25, 2007)

BeNice said:


> You are placing yourself above other guys, which I would find unattractive as a girl. You made this list and I think you know you are trying to appeal to women. You are saying you use porn out of sexual frustration... Porn guilt is probably worse than porn addiction. Why do you have to make yourself out to be so great?
> 
> And is this Piliniski guy the HighStatusMale.com one? If I was a girl, I'd definately feel weird about a guy that read that crap, just as I'd feel weird about a girl that took dating advice from women's magazines.
> 
> You are so obviously trying to appeal to what you believe women want, it hurts. If you get to know some women, as in friendships, you'd be surprised what they like.


There is so much for me to respond to here, I will just use the post that responded to me the most "negatively".

I am sorry I came off as arrogant as far as trying to sound like I am above the other guys. That was not my intention.

As far as the porn thing... I don't feel guilty about it at all. Just frustrated. I don't even really like the stuff. If you were a sexually frustrated guy you would understand. Male and female sex drives are a lot different in the way they work.

Let me also clarify what I said about loosing my temper. Yes, I do get p*ssed off at times. I would say that I get ticked off like any average guy. What I ment to say is that I do not get IRRATIONAL when I am angry. Getting angry at someone for cutting you off in traffic is normal. Calling your wife a stupid b*tch when she accidentally dropped an egg on the kitchen floor is not normal.

Oh, and if both partners like anal, fine. That doesnt bother me. I have just noticed some girls who are bitter over guys who like anal a lot while the girl does not. I remember one girl online who had a quote that said "if you like anal so much, date guys".


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## Maseur Shado (Jun 7, 2005)

Because jerks are more affordable at the beginning.


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

Haha...
Your list sort of sounds like mine.
But the inherent problem is not those things, it you making a choice on which girl to pursue.
In case you haven't noticed, the ladies aren't likely to do much no matter how good you "appear".


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

Several of the traits you seem to attribute to jerks are things I find appealing, some highly so. Many of the things you attribute to yourself are things that I dislike in a potential partner. Just because a man has certain personality traits or particular desires doesn't make him a jerk. As far as those traits go, it's relative. When a man who has certain needs is paired with a woman who is dead set against such things, she may consider him a jerk if he tries to pursue such things with her. Conversely, to a woman who has no desire for a clingy and touchy-feely guy, she may view that type of guy as jerk. I think it all depends on what you are looking for, not that a certain group of men with certain traits are jerks. All you have to do is find women who share your interests. That, in itself, is particularly difficult for the SA man.


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

Drella said:


> Several of the traits you seem to attribute to jerks are things I find appealing, some highly so. Many of the things you attribute to yourself are things that I dislike in a potential partner. Just because a man has certain personality traits or particular desires doesn't make him a jerk. As far as those traits go, it's relative. When a man who has certain needs is paired with a woman who is dead set against such things, she may consider him a jerk if he tries to pursue such things with her. Conversely, to a woman who has no desire for a clingy and touchy-feely guy, she may view that type of guy as jerk. I think it all depends on what you are looking for, not that a certain group of men with certain traits are jerks. All you have to do is find women who share your interests. That, in itself, is particularly difficult for the SA man.


I think Drella is right on the money. When a couple is together whatever they like and they find acceptable is fine, even if someone else might be sickened by it. It all about finding someone who is in sync with you.


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

Penny68 said:


> Drella said:
> 
> 
> > Several of the traits you seem to attribute to jerks are things I find appealing, some highly so. Many of the things you attribute to yourself are things that I dislike in a potential partner. Just because a man has certain personality traits or particular desires doesn't make him a jerk. As far as those traits go, it's relative. When a man who has certain needs is paired with a woman who is dead set against such things, she may consider him a jerk if he tries to pursue such things with her. Conversely, to a woman who has no desire for a clingy and touchy-feely guy, she may view that type of guy as jerk. I think it all depends on what you are looking for, not that a certain group of men with certain traits are jerks. All you have to do is find women who share your interests. That, in itself, is particularly difficult for the SA man.
> ...


I agree... very well said and spot on.


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## Mindflyer (Mar 25, 2007)

Drella said:


> Several of the traits you seem to attribute to jerks are things I find appealing, some highly so. Many of the things you attribute to yourself are things that I dislike in a potential partner. Just because a man has certain personality traits or particular desires doesn't make him a jerk. As far as those traits go, it's relative. When a man who has certain needs is paired with a woman who is dead set against such things, she may consider him a jerk if he tries to pursue such things with her. Conversely, to a woman who has no desire for a clingy and touchy-feely guy, she may view that type of guy as jerk. I think it all depends on what you are looking for, not that a certain group of men with certain traits are jerks. All you have to do is find women who share your interests. That, in itself, is particularly difficult for the SA man.


You find wife-beaters appealing? Guys who start online relationships with another woman while with you? Irrational men?

These are the things I see women complain about. And then they act like they are lucky just to have a BF at all. It's like they say they are with a jerk and then say "oh well. all guys are jerks so I will just have to stay with this one".


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

Mindflyer said:


> Drella said:
> 
> 
> > Several of the traits you seem to attribute to jerks are things I find appealing, some highly so. Many of the things you attribute to yourself are things that I dislike in a potential partner. Just because a man has certain personality traits or particular desires doesn't make him a jerk. As far as those traits go, it's relative. When a man who has certain needs is paired with a woman who is dead set against such things, she may consider him a jerk if he tries to pursue such things with her. Conversely, to a woman who has no desire for a clingy and touchy-feely guy, she may view that type of guy as jerk. I think it all depends on what you are looking for, not that a certain group of men with certain traits are jerks. All you have to do is find women who share your interests. That, in itself, is particularly difficult for the SA man.
> ...


You included a lot more than just wife-beaters in your post. That's all I was commenting on.


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## Kelly (Dec 12, 2003)

http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp02142004.shtml

Have a nice day,
Kelly


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

BeNice said:


> You are so obviously trying to appeal to what you believe women want, it hurts. If you get to know some women, as in friendships, you'd be surprised what they like.


 :agree The list looks like a stereotyped version of the things women want. Not that those things are bad. They are good traits. It just seems like you're trying too hard to please other people (particularly women).

That's common with shyness. To me, shyness is like a filter that censors our personality. We're insecure and afriad of being judged, so we hide ourselves by staying low-key and conforming to the other person, in the hopes that they will accept us.

Don't waste your time trying to decipher the female mind. Be true to yourself. Focus on the things _you_ want in life, and let your personality shine through. IMO, that's the most attractive trait a person can have. When everyone can finally see who you are, like-minded women will naturally be drawn to you.

If you have a crush on someone, make your feelings known and ask her out! If you don't ask her out, she'll never know if you like her or not.


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## Restless Mind (Jul 19, 2006)

Jerks exude confidence, but in an arrogant way.


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## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

Anonymous Dude said:


> When you are shy/anxious around the opposite sex for long enough you start to hold a grudge. "How can THAT guy be getting chicks and i'm stuck here with no one, i'm good looking enough, nice, smart, etc.". Trust me, I still have trouble with finding women tolerable sometimes, I get so angry with my bad experiences with women (and i'm only 16 mind you). I have trouble reading female posts on this board too. Girls like guys who are confident, who can make the first move, and more.
> 
> I'd like to just cuddle and hold a girl close, oh, there's a guy with his tongue down a girls throat.
> 
> In our society women are just more passive, and it's easier for a shy woman to get in a relationship with a man, much more than it is for us guys. Yeah it sucks, but it's just the way it is.


Anonymous Dude,

Great Post! The best post on this thread so far. Very perceptive for a 16 yr old! lol.



Anonymous Dude said:


> When you are shy/anxious around the opposite sex for long enough you start to hold a grudge. "How can THAT guy be getting chicks and i'm stuck here with no one, i'm good looking enough, nice, smart, etc."


That happens to me all the time! I'll see a jerk or an god-awful ugly guy with a girl - and usually with a very attractive girl at that - and I think exactly what you said ... ""How can THAT guy be getting chicks and I'm stuck here with no one, I'm good looking enough, nice, smart, etc." I feel I'm being truthful when I think this because I really do feel I'm a nice looking enough guy - and a very nice guy as well that will treat a woman like a queen. And, as you are, I am shy/anxious around girls and I, as well, tend to seriously hold grudges against women for going after the jerks and ugly guys. Whether it's right or wrong of me to do that is not the issue, I'm just point out how I feel about women who ignore me and go after the ugly/jerk guys. Because it's like, "Hey! I'm a good looking, nice guy and you are shunning me for the ugly, jerk guy?!!?!??"



Anonymous Dude said:


> Girls like guys who are confident, who can make the first move, and more.
> 
> I'd like to just cuddle and hold a girl close, oh, there's a guy with his tongue down a girls throat. ."


Exactly! Girls (girls in general, nothing in the world is 100%) like the guys who are confident, make the first move, and more. As you alluded to, us nice guys want to cuddle and treat a girl nicely. But as we are dreaming of cuddling up with a girl and being all nice, (to use your example) there's the confident and not so nice guy sticking his tongue down a girl's throat. Rationally, when you look at it, the reason for this and the reason girls choose the ugly and/or jerk guy over us is because these guys most likely - for whatever reason - have confidence in themselves (maybe even arrogance) and shyness is not a problem for them. Our shyness and lack of confidence is the real problem for us. And just as much of a problem - if not more - is that we are "nice" guys. Despite what girls say, girls don't generally go for "nice" guys. I know that the girls here will say that I'm wrong, but action speaks louder than words. And I seen much more action of the girls going for the ugly and/or jerk guys than the nice guys. They want the confident, manly, "Not afraid of anybody!" type of guy over the nice, shy guy.



Anonymous Dude said:


> In our society women are just more passive, and it's easier for a shy woman to get in a relationship with a man, much more than it is for us guys. Yeah it sucks, but it's just the way it is.


So true. That's how things are. The women are suppose to be (and generally are) the passive sex and men are suppose to be the dominant, strong, confident sex. Nice guys such as us who don't show strength, confidence and a "take-charge" attitude come out losers in the end.

Lifetimer


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## Naitzmic (Apr 11, 2007)

Lifetimer said:


> So true. That's how things are. The women are suppose to be (and generally are) the passive sex and men are suppose to be the dominant, strong, confident sex. Nice guys such as us who don't show strength, confidence and a "take-charge" attitude come out losers in the end.
> 
> Lifetimer


Eh? I'm not dominant or anything even remotely close...
When I go out, I tend to keep to myself, and
hardly ever speak at all.
Even with that behaviour, I've been hit on almost
every single time I'm out on town, just grabbing a beer.

And I'm not overreading signals either...
It's blatantly obvious, with opening lines such as
"Hey, mind if I sit down? I was wondering, are you single?"
or "I've been watching you all night. Do you wanna go somewhere
we can be alone?"


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## archaic (Jan 16, 2006)

Ugh, not another "wah wah poor Nice Guys™" thread. uke


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## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

Naitzmic said:


> Lifetimer said:
> 
> 
> > So true. That's how things are. The women are suppose to be (and generally are) the passive sex and men are suppose to be the dominant, strong, confident sex. Nice guys such as us who don't show strength, confidence and a "take-charge" attitude come out losers in the end.
> ...


I need to hang out at the places YOU hang out! :lol

Naitzmic, I see under your name (above your icon) that is says, "The stereotypical "Bad Boy". I think that could explain why women are attracted to you. I believe that even if you are not necessarily talking much to the women that hit on you, if you are a "bad boy" then it still tends to show. Women like bad boys, not nice guys.

Lifetimer


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## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

archaic said:


> Ugh, not another "wah wah poor Nice Guys™" thread. uke


Archaic,

Yes you say that, but you know what I say is the truth. Chances are that you are one of the girls I speak of. That's just the way the world is -- in regards to women and men.

Lifetimer


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## Naitzmic (Apr 11, 2007)

Lifetimer said:


> I need to hang out at the places YOU hang out! :lol


You don't have Hard Rock Café in Seattle? :rub


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## emptybottle (Jan 3, 2005)

archaic said:


> Ugh, not another "wah wah poor Nice Guys™" thread. uke


yeah :roll


Hypatia said:


> http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp02142004.shtml


haha, and this sums it up quite nicely


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## Anonymous Dude (Mar 25, 2007)

archaic said:


> Ugh, not another "wah wah poor Nice Guys™" thread. uke


I expect more. Alot of shy guys think just being nice and respectful to women entitles them to be a ladies man, or attract women. Then when it doesn't happen they start to think badly of women, and get frustrated. The guy is truly frustrated with this, and hopefully sees now how much you he to actually EXPRESS himself enough so women can find out how nice he is .


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

I really want to be on the side of "nice guys" in this discussion, because I am sympathetic to someone who ishurting or frustrated. But I can't. Hypatia's comic strip (her link) makes me angry because its sort of true. I hate that. And I agree tha Drella's points were on target.

As a side note, I think confidence is used pretty loosely in these discussions. I think women like passion or intensity, even when its not particularly directed at them. Passionate, intense people of both genders are sometimes difficult people because they are driven, and can seem like jerks if you just look at the surface of their behavior.


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## Anonymous Dude (Mar 25, 2007)

Shy guys can be the nicest, most sincere, romantics ever, if they can't tell a woman how they feel, how can the woman know how great he is? That's our problem.


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## Kentucky_Fried (Mar 29, 2007)

It's pretty funny how the original poster was complaining about how women choose jerks over nice guys, and then half the women's posts attack his personality...

Proves the point, I suppose. :lol


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

I'm sorry, I have a hard time believing a guy who says he never looks at porn...though I don't see why you'd have a reason to lie about it, it just suprises me. I even look at it and I'm a girl. I don't really see that as a problem except sometimes when they mention liking certain porn people, I get jealous...or of course if they were dating me and receiving personal pictures/videos or on webcam with "real" people...that would be a definite problem for me. But looking at random pictures or watching random porn movies, I dont see a problem with really.
And as for women liking jerks...the same can be said for guys. Most guys like *****y girls who never shut up. :stu At least they seem to, from my experience.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

I'd say the gross generalization that all guys suck is not far off, lol. But then again I don't have a whole lot of hope or trust in the vast population of humans. Maybe so many girls date jerks because so many jerks exist that it's hard to avoid? You can't always spot a jerk within a week of knowing them some people are good at hiding it. Then there are those that actually are attracted to jerks. Jerks = confident and tough, which = protection and success. Either way who cares? 



Rather than get frustrated continue to seek out a girl that suits you and who you suit. Why does it matter to you. Even if they complain. If they don't have interest in you, move to the next. 

And Mr. Bobble head says 
" :agree "


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

> In our society women are just more passive, and it's easier for a shy woman to get in a relationship with a man, much more than it is for us guys. Yeah it sucks, but it's just the way it is.


The days of this are numbered. Women are becoming more and more active/ aggressive seeking what they want rather than waiting for it to come to them. Those women that remain passive will likely be left behind eating whatever scraps are left over. I kind of feel sorry for women in that sense because they're getting mixed signals. Be conservative passive. Yet some must sit there see all the aggressive extroverted girls having all the success with guys and in the business/career world. When I think about it when you see a girl have interest in a guy in person it's kind of commical to me. It's like she tries to appear/remain in a passive state but at the sametime tries hard to give signals showing interest (which is requires being active).

I'm curious to see what happens in 20 years when it is seen as normal for women to be just as extroverted and active/ agressive as men.

That being said I wouldn't want to be in your age range or younger because they just seem crazy. No offense


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

Naitzmic said:


> Lifetimer said:
> 
> 
> > So true. That's how things are. The women are suppose to be (and generally are) the passive sex and men are suppose to be the dominant, strong, confident sex. Nice guys such as us who don't show strength, confidence and a "take-charge" attitude come out losers in the end.
> ...


But maybe you just have the looks that girls want. I've certainly never, ever been asked those questions. I've never had a girl hit on me in any way, or talk to me, or as far as I can tell even look at me. No one does.

I think guys who are good looking and get hit on without even trying just take it for granted and assume it happens for everyone. It doesn't.


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## Failure (Feb 4, 2007)

Not all outgoing guys are jerks. I've had friends who were outgoing and really nice guys (not push overs) didn't act arrogant or like douches. 

Theres some guys who act like complete arrogant assholes and get women. You can spot a douche like this from a mile away. Even if they are wrong they keep going on about somthing and make them selves look stupid, or refuse to concider other peoples opinions. They are serious about it too, not talking about guys who joke around. You can spot the inflated ego a mile away. This is the easiest way to tell and is a pretty sure sign that the guy acts like a dick.

Maybe women find guys that act like that more fun or exciting, who knows. Not like you can change someones attraction.


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## justlistening (Dec 4, 2006)

Mindflyer said:


> -I respect women just as much as I respect other men.


Yeah, cause its like women take that for granted these days!


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

One thing I've noticed about society is that confident, agressive women seek even more confident and agressive men. "Opposites attract" doesn't work here -- the more powerful a woman is, the more powerful her mate must be to not be intimidated by her and be able to ask her out and be "the man" of the relationship. I both laugh and get sad about how women as attractive as NYTimes columnist Maureen Dowd write about not being able to get dates.



Naitzmic said:


> Eh? I'm not dominant or anything even remotely close...
> When I go out, I tend to keep to myself, and
> hardly ever speak at all.
> Even with that behaviour, I've been hit on almost
> ...


If you aren't confident and are getting so much attention, you must be REALLY hot.


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## time4sugar (Apr 4, 2007)

vincebs said:


> Naitzmic said:
> 
> 
> > Eh? I'm not dominant or anything even remotely close...
> ...


Or he goes to a strip club? haha joking

but i think this post is slightly ridiculous, everyones different, theres someone out there for everyone and i think you just have to be patient and wait, personally i find the way you portray yourself as a nice guy to be ironic because your just having a go at all the other guys you consider as "jerks", im sure you really are a nice guy and everything, but i suppose everyone has different tastes and are attracted to different types of people....


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

time4sugar said:


> Or he goes to a strip club? haha joking
> 
> but i think this post is slightly ridiculous, everyones different, theres someone out there for everyone and i think you just have to be patient and wait, personally i find the way you portray yourself as a nice guy to be ironic because your just having a go at all the other guys you consider as "jerks", im sure you really are a nice guy and everything, but i suppose everyone has different tastes and are attracted to different types of people....


I wish it were that simple  for most guys waiting doesn't work, almost all girls want guys to make the first move and "be the man".

Perhaps there are girls out there for shy guys, but maybe they will never meet...


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## time4sugar (Apr 4, 2007)

hmmmm no thats not always the case, lots of girls make the first moves but because the stereotype of the fact that the man has to make the first move it makes the situation awkward. and some guys just don't like overpowering girls for some reason...just like some girls like the guys to make the first move...so yea everyones different and you can't really put this stereotype on all guys and girls......


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## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

Anonymous Dude said:


> When you are shy/anxious around the opposite sex for long enough you start to hold a grudge. "How can THAT guy be getting chicks and i'm stuck here with no one, i'm good looking enough, nice, smart, etc.". Trust me, I still have trouble with finding women tolerable sometimes, I get so angry with my bad experiences with women (and i'm only 16 mind you). I have trouble reading female posts on this board too. Girls like guys who are confident, who can make the first move, and more.
> 
> I'd like to just cuddle and hold a girl close, oh, there's a guy with his tongue down a girls throat.
> 
> In our society women are just more passive, and it's easier for a shy woman to get in a relationship with a man, much more than it is for us guys. Yeah it sucks, but it's just the way it is.


With the exception of the bad experiences with women (I've only had one such experience), you took the words right out of my mouth. I can't hide my bitterness anymore. I ****ing hate society, and I just don't see myself ever succeeding romantically.


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## time4sugar (Apr 4, 2007)

PGVan said:


> Anonymous Dude said:
> 
> 
> > When you are shy/anxious around the opposite sex for long enough you start to hold a grudge. "How can THAT guy be getting chicks and i'm stuck here with no one, i'm good looking enough, nice, smart, etc.". Trust me, I still have trouble with finding women tolerable sometimes, I get so angry with my bad experiences with women (and i'm only 16 mind you). I have trouble reading female posts on this board too. Girls like guys who are confident, who can make the first move, and more.
> ...


hmmmm i see your point but thats the other problem with us who suffer with sa, many of us feel bitter towards people who have the aspects and things etc that we want most, i can totally relate....


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## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

I'm not bitter towards the people who have what I want. I'm bitter towards our society that caters to them and hands them everything on a silver platter (at least that's how it appears from my end of the table). If I didn't have social anxiety and I had the attitude towards girls that a lot of young guys do, thus they succeed, I would take it and run.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

time4sugar said:


> hmmmm no thats not always the case, lots of girls make the first moves but because the stereotype of the fact that the man has to make the first move it makes the situation awkward. and some guys just don't like overpowering girls for some reason...just like some girls like the guys to make the first move...so yea everyones different and you can't really put this stereotype on all guys and girls......


I don't know if the situation is different in Australia (I have heard rumors that it is) but here in Canada there are very few girls who make the first move. Guys who wait never find the girl who matches them and they die lonely. The only option is to get up and "be the man" and ask girls out. The man's gotta be superconfident and (for most guys here) that means losing the social anxiety.


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## time4sugar (Apr 4, 2007)

i heard from a fellow canadian female that guys in canada have high expectations of girls too, and that she didn't get a boyfriend because guys there perferred stick thin girls......australia is like polar opposite of canada it seems


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

time4sugar said:


> i heard from a fellow canadian female that guys in canada have high expectations of girls too, and that she didn't get a boyfriend because guys there perferred stick thin girls......australia is like polar opposite of canada it seems


hmm i think she may have body image issues (just hypothesizing, I don't know her!) because the situation is that most Canadian guys don't like stick thin girls but a lot of Canadian girls think that they do. The only people who like stick thin girls here are immigrants from Asia and guys who only date "Asians".

what do you mean that it's the opposite in Australia? That the girls have high standards? or that guys don't like stick thin girls?


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## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

time4sugar said:


> i heard from a fellow canadian female that guys in canada have high expectations of girls too, and that she didn't get a boyfriend because guys there perferred stick thin girls....


I heard from people here in Canada who have visited parts of US that they found the girls there to be very over-weight. And it's probably true, as I've heard studies on shows like Dateline or 20/20 that say obesity is one of the biggest problems in America.


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## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

Strength said:


> I heard from people here in Canada who have visited parts of US that they found the girls there to be very over-weight. And it's probably true, as I've heard studies on shows like Dateline or 20/20 that say obesity is one of the biggest problems in America.


I see a lot of overweight girls here in Canada too. It's not a problem limited to the USA.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Yeah, but it's a fact that the US is the fattest country and no wonder when you have Taco Bell ads promoting a "Fourth meal"...the meal between dinner and breakfast. There should be no ****ing meal between dinner and breakfast! Between that and 24 hour fast food joints, we're a mess.


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## time4sugar (Apr 4, 2007)

yea i don't really know the situation in canada just heard it through a friend, as for australia curvy women are "generally" most liked here it seems, but then again every guy is different here too...like i said were all attracted to different types of people so u can't stereotype making assumptions that no girls like nice guys that they only like "jerks" blah blah blah etc


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## mal (Mar 26, 2007)

I prefer curvy girls. Stick girls don't do it for me.


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## time4sugar (Apr 4, 2007)

lol i agree, if i was a guy i'd go for curvy girls too....im not a fan of stick thin guys lol


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

My taste varies: I could go for someone rail thin or someone on the heavy side (e.g. Jack Black), depends on the guy.


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

*Re: re: Why are girls attracted to jerks?*



Strange Religion said:


> Yeah, but it's a fact that the US is the fattest country and no wonder when you have Taco Bell ads promoting a "Fourth meal"...the meal between dinner and breakfast. There should be no @#%$ meal between dinner and breakfast! Between that and 24 hour fast food joints, we're a mess.


Holy crap, are you serious? I've never seen those commercials, but wow. Hahahaha, that's kinda funny, in a sad way. :lol


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## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

emptybottle said:


> archaic said:
> 
> 
> > Ugh, not another "wah wah poor Nice Guys™" thread. uke
> ...


Yes there is some truth in that cartoon. It's true that part of the reason nice guys are not getting dates is because they don't ask girls out. However, that cartoon is not telling the complete story. Do you want to know why us nice guys are not usually asking girls out? It's because even though we are nice to a girl and show interest in her, she will give us no clues or signs of being interested in us. Since she is not interested, then why even bother in asking her out when we know we will be rejected? However, the guys who are jerks and "bad boys" are what the girls want. These guys are getting the obvious clues and signs of the girl being interested in them. Therefore these type of guys of course notice women are interested in them and this makes it easy for them to ask a girl out.

So to sum up "quite nicely", being a nice guy means women are not interested, so our confidence is shot and therefore there's little reason to ask out someone if they don't want the nice guy.

Being a jerk or bad boy attracts women, which of course builds confidence in the guy, making it a no-brainer to ask the girl out. There is very little chance of rejection for the guy.

These are the details that cartoon left out.

Lifetimer


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## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

*Re: re: Why are girls attracted to jerks?*



PGVan said:


> I'm not bitter towards the people who have what I want. I'm bitter towards our society that caters to them and hands them everything on a silver platter (at least that's how it appears from my end of the table). If I didn't have social anxiety and I had the attitude towards girls that a lot of young guys do, thus they succeed, I would take it and run.


I know exactly what you mean. I'm not necessarily bitter at the individuals recieving the attention from the opposite sex (specifically, the ugly and/or jerk guy receiving the attention from a hot girl), buy I AM VERY bitter at the hot girl who shuns and ignores the nice guy - even though the nice guy may be attractive - and goes for the ugly or jerk guy. I know this makes no sense for a girl to do this, but I seen it happen multiple times. The most recent case is this girl at my work. To set the scenario up a bit, every day me and my co-workers in my department go to break at the same time. Well a couple of months ago at break, one of my co-workers who I work side-by-side with was sitting in the break room one table across from me. Well, all of a sudden the physically hottest girl at the company (I say "physically" because if you add in her personality, she wouldn't be the top girl there) just out of the blue came in, sat down by this guy and began talking to him and really getting friendly with him. I'm sure this is the first time she really talked to this guy, because in all the time I've been there I've never before had seen them interact at all. She works in another department so it's not like we are constantly around her. Then throw in the fact that he had a surprised look on his face when she sat down and started talking to him, then it's obvious what the situation was. She then began almost everyday to sit by this guy in the breakroom. Sometimes during break they go out in the hallway and talk in private. They now are seeing each other.

That cartoon that was posted earlier (or rather the link to it) made the point of the reason guys who are ugly and who are jerks are getting the women is because they are taking action and asking women out. Ok, I can see some of that logic. BUT, how do you explain the situation I've described with the very hot girl and my co-worker? To describe my co-worker, he is a VERY average looking guy, generally somewhat quite. I'm not saying he's particularly shy or has SA, I'm just saying he doesn't have a loud, gregarious personality. And speaking of his personality, it can be described as basically boring. He's not that smart or quick-witted. He's one of these guys that has a deep, low voice that tries to talk and act cool, but in actuality there isn't a lot to his personality. I don't say this to belittle him in any way. Yes, he's an ok guy and I like the guy, but how I described him is exactly how he is. I would add one more detail about him but it's a sensitive issue that always seems to make people go crazy when mentioned, so I therefore won't mention it.

My point in all this is how this very average guy with a lack of a great personality DID NOTHING in as far as personally taking action to get this very hot girl. She came on to him! I can tell by observing her during my time working there that she badly wants to get into some sort of relationship with somebody. How can I tell this? By her body language, how animated she is around other guys, how she talks &#8230; the way she acts and carries herself really strikes me as someone on the hunt for a boyfriend. When it comes down to it, I am not interested in a relationship with this girl because of the bad vibes I get of her mentality and personality. What makes me so bitter about this particular situation is how she completely ignored me and went straight to a guy who, in all honesty, has less in the looks department than me and whose personality is lacking also. It's like, "WHAT!?? Hey! I'm here, what about me!! I'm better looking and have better personality, smart &#8230; why ignore me and go after THAT guy!??" I'm sure this guy can't believe his luck. I can't believe she still is seeing this guy to this day. I can understand if he was a real catch, but he IS NOT. As I said, I work with him everyday and know what he is like. That is another reason why I think she is desperate for a relationship, because she goes after THAT guy! This girl has not once spoken to me, but she is all over THAT guy.

I could also give you a story of a butt-ugly guy at my previous job that looked like the main character from the movie Shrek. This guy was a real jerk and the stereo-typical "bad boy". What does all that add up to? &#8230; Of course it adds up to him getting the hottest girl there. I won't go through that story again because this post is too long already.

Yes, you better believe I'm bitter.

Lifetimer


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## Kelly (Dec 12, 2003)

Lifetimer said:


> Yes there is some truth in that cartoon. It's true that part of the reason nice guys are not getting dates is because they don't ask girls out. However, that cartoon is not telling the complete story. Do you want to know why us nice guys are not usually asking girls out? It's because even though we are nice to a girl and show interest in her, she will give us no clues or signs of being interested in us. Since she is not interested, then why even bother in asking her out when we know we will be rejected? However, the guys who are jerks and "bad boys" are what the girls want. These guys are getting the obvious clues and signs of the girl being interested in them. Therefore these type of guys of course notice women are interested in them and this makes it easy for them to ask a girl out.
> 
> So to sum up "quite nicely", being a nice guy means women are not interested, so our confidence is shot and therefore there's little reason to ask out someone if they don't want the nice guy.
> 
> ...


*Note* In the following post, I am using the word "you" in the general sense and not towards Lifetimer specifically.

I'm sorry, but I can't buy into this scenario at all. You can't blame the girl in the situation because she doesn't show interest in you. You have to let a girl know you're interested in her as more than a friend. The cartoon shows that sucking up to her for months in a friendly way isn't going to get you anywhere, because she's going to think that *you* don't want more. She might not look at you as more than a friend, because you don't present yourself as more than a friend.

It works both ways. It's not the girl or the guy's responsibility to show interest in the person who's interested in them before the person who's interested in them makes a move. It's the responsibility of the person who's interested to make the move. Don't obsess over looking for hidden signals. Just _go for it_.

Is this hard for a person with SA to do? Of course it is. But we SAers do hard, stressful, difficult things everyday. And we get through them. And sometimes doing them makes our lives better and sometimes it doesn't. But that's just life. You get through it and you keep going.

Have a nice day,
Kelly


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

*Re: re: Why are girls attracted to jerks?*



Strange Religion said:


> Yeah, but it's a fact that the US is the fattest country and no wonder when you have Taco Bell ads promoting a "Fourth meal"...the meal between dinner and breakfast. There should be no @#%$ meal between dinner and breakfast! Between that and 24 hour fast food joints, we're a mess.


They're really doing that? Good lord. It reminds me of Homer Simpson declaring he discovered a meal between breakfast and brunch :lol


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

*Re: re: Why are girls attracted to jerks?*



mal said:


> I prefer curvy girls. Stick girls don't do it for me.


Ditto that. Back before meds or whatever it was basically demolished my sex drive, I found curvier, plump (some might almost say fat) girls much more attractive than the stick-thin rails walking around. Of course, they didn't seem to like me at all, so whatever....


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## chagrinamin (Mar 11, 2007)

It seems in a lot of these "nice guys never win" rants... the self purported nice guys are bitter about "hot" girls not being interested in them. Maybe the problem is not so much girls in general but you are going after the wrong girls. There are a lot of "nice" girls who feel like no one is ever interested in them too. 

People get so upset when a "hot" girl ends up with a jerk. Well... if she is dating a jerk do you REALLY want to be with her anyways? Women are people and have different qualities they find attractive. IF she doesn't find you attractive it is nothing against you or her (proverbial you here). It likely just means you are not compatible.

I really don't have a solution... but claiming girls only like jerks is probably not it.


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## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

*Re: re: Why are girls attracted to jerks?*



chagrinamin said:


> It seems in a lot of these "nice guys never win" rants... the self purported nice guys are bitter about "hot" girls not being interested in them. Maybe the problem is not so much girls in general but you are going after the wrong girls. There are a lot of "nice" girls who feel like no one is ever interested in them too.


Yes you are right. I'm sure nice guys are not the only ones getting snubbed. I'm surethere are nice girls getting snubbed too. I just think it is more likely for a nice guy to get snubbed than a nice girl to get snubbed. Girls in general don't like nice guys. As for nice girls, I believe a much higher percentage of guys like nice girls (than girls liking nice guys).

You say we are most likely going after the wrong girls, but it seems all girls don't care for nice guys. Well, that's an over-generalization. I'm sure there is a certain percentage that like nice guys, but it is a relatively very small percentage. That's the point I'm making.

Lifetimer


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## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

I'm not swayed by the "you only want 'hot' girls" argument. After all, what is "hot"? What one guy finds attractive, another guy may find repulsive. 

I am bitter towards society because the girls I find attractive don't know I exist...and no, Cosmo doesn't decide for me which girls are "hot". I decide for myself, and nobody will tell me what girls I should or should not find attractive. 

Besides, the notion that a guy is "going after the wrong girls" is flawed in the sense that why in the hell would anybody want to "go after" a member of the opposite sex who he/she does not find attractive?


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## time4sugar (Apr 4, 2007)

*Re: re: Why are girls attracted to jerks?*



chagrinamin said:


> It seems in a lot of these "nice guys never win" rants... the self purported nice guys are bitter about "hot" girls not being interested in them. Maybe the problem is not so much girls in general but you are going after the wrong girls. There are a lot of "nice" girls who feel like no one is ever interested in them too.


no kidding! us "less hot but nice" girls get snubbed by you "nice" guys who are attracted to the "hot" girls who are attracted to the "jerks" .....and life continues.


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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

*Re: re: Why are girls attracted to jerks?*



time4sugar said:


> no kidding! us "less hot but nice" girls get snubbed by you "nice" guys who are attracted to the "hot" girls who are attracted to the "jerks" .....and life continues.


Yeah, tell me about it. :roll


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

*Re: re: Why are girls attracted to jerks?*



time4sugar said:


> chagrinamin said:
> 
> 
> > It seems in a lot of these "nice guys never win" rants... the self purported nice guys are bitter about "hot" girls not being interested in them. Maybe the problem is not so much girls in general but you are going after the wrong girls. There are a lot of "nice" girls who feel like no one is ever interested in them too.
> ...


:lol


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

*Re: re: Why are girls attracted to jerks?*



Njodis said:


> Strange Religion said:
> 
> 
> > Yeah, but it's a fact that the US is the fattest country and no wonder when you have Taco Bell ads promoting a "Fourth meal"...the meal between dinner and breakfast. There should be no @#%$ meal between dinner and breakfast! Between that and 24 hour fast food joints, we're a mess.
> ...





Zephyr said:


> They're really doing that? Good lord. It reminds me of Homer Simpson declaring he discovered a meal between breakfast and brunch :lol


I hear these commercials on the radio and I admit they're funny. The tacos are talking and singing and their band is called "Fourth meal". I agree, it is sad because it's obviously brainwashing and making it seem like it's completely ok.

...and time4sugar is right on. That's too funny.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

*Re: re: Why are girls attracted to jerks?*



time4sugar said:


> no kidding! us "less hot but nice" girls get snubbed by you "nice" guys who are attracted to the "hot" girls who are attracted to the "jerks" .....and life continues.


Maybe because many of you "less hot but nice" girls dont show interest in nice guys either.

Those that do show at least a platonic interest often find that nice guys easily fall in love with girls that open up to them and talk to them, regardless of how "pretty" she is. Then some of these girls actually stop talking to nice guys because they're afraid he'll actually get a crush on them!



chagrinamin said:


> It seems in a lot of these "nice guys never win" rants... the self purported nice guys are bitter about "hot" girls not being interested in them. Maybe the problem is not so much girls in general but you are going after the wrong girls. There are a lot of "nice" girls who feel like no one is ever interested in them too.


Nice guys aren't complaining because they don't get attention from hot women. They are bitter about not getting attention from any women at all. When you hear the typical nice guy rant about not getting any girls, you never hear him say "no pretty girls like me". It's always "i can't get anyone"



> People get so upset when a "hot" girl ends up with a jerk. Well... if she is dating a jerk do you REALLY want to be with her anyways? Women are people and have different qualities they find attractive. IF she doesn't find you attractive it is nothing against you or her (proverbial you here). It likely just means you are not compatible.
> 
> I really don't have a solution... but claiming girls only like jerks is probably not it.


They may not only like jerks, I know a couple of good guys that are not at all jerks who if I was a girl I could see myself being attracted to due to their qualities (confidence, sense of humor, charisma).

But the thing is, all the girls I have met in real life require high self-confidence and leadership in the guy in order to be thought of as anything more than a friend. If women are different in your area, please let me know.


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## time4sugar (Apr 4, 2007)

*Re: re: Why are girls attracted to jerks?*



vincebs said:


> Maybe because many of you "less hot but nice" girls dont show interest in nice guys either
> 
> But the thing is, all the girls I have met in real life require high self-confidence and leadership in the guy in order to be thought of as anything more than a friend. If women are different in your area, please let me know.


not true.....i showed interest in many "nice guys" to be pushed back because "i wasn't good enough", seems like some of you nice guys have high standards...but meh just my opinion

I know that the women in australia like all different kinds of men, because were all different!!!! and im sure its like that in your area too unless you have millions of women who are all the same??


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

*Re: re: Why are girls attracted to jerks?*



Strange Religion said:


> I hear these commercials on the radio and I admit they're funny. The tacos are talking and singing and their band is called "Fourth meal". I agree, it is sad because it's obviously brainwashing and making it seem like it's completely ok.


I know this doesn't have to do with the topic, but those commercials made me so sick. "Fourth Meal"? I don't even know if I eat three meals. Gross.


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## Your Lover Scrub Ducky (Jul 26, 2004)

BeNice said:


> You are placing yourself above other guys, which I would find unattractive as a girl. *You made this list and I think you know you are trying to appeal to women*.


 :agree uke



Qolselanu said:


> If a guy and a girl would like to try anal sex, good for them. If one of them just isn't up for anal sex, well hopefully out of respect the other person will acknowledge that insecurity.


 :agree and btw, if they both want to and it's done right, it can be more pleasurable for the girl because it puts like 10x more pressure on her G-spot than vaginal intercourse. if you just jab it in on the first time, yeah its going to hurt and turn her off. ill use a different example before this gets too graphic. when you go to the gym for the 1st time, do you try to bench 500lbs right off the bat or do you start with 100lbs and work your way up?  
personally the thought of sticking my hoohooheehee in her crapper doesn't exactly excite me, but you can really make her squeal...just saying.



Mindflyer said:


> Okay girls, your job is to read that list and tell me which points are turn-offs for you. What items in that list are traits that look unnattractive in a guy? Or is the list missing items that would make me more complete?


Who the cares what they think? This is a list YOU made about yourself, is it not? it kinda seems like you're shaping yourself around the way you assume girls want you to be like. Be yourself, if a girl doesn't like it, forget her...Sacrifice some things if you really wanna make it work with someone, but you can't base everything on what others want, you gotta think of yourself.



Mindflyer said:


> I have NO turn-ons with dominance based sex (like where the guy holds the girl by her hair


im the opposite, tis a turn on for me! :evil :evil :evil :evil 
and all my past g/fs were just as into it. so...there.



Mindflyer said:


> or slaps her really hard


:wtf slapping her while making love? do people actually do that? gosh that'd be weird. :um :lol


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## Nihlanth (Sep 1, 2004)

Most attractive girls my age just aren't mature enough (or are too emotionally screwed up) to be my type. I'll wait until I'm 28 or 33 before I start looking for a girl-friend, and start being a better man (more empathetic and less cold and condescending). And yes, I only go for the attractive ones. If they aren't attractive to me; I don't give them the light of day. In fact I tell them to shoo!

But remember, each guy's taste is different in who he thinks is attractive. I've been told I have very unique tastes .

On the inside, I'm a total arrogant, selfish jerk (that also happens to be menacingly quiet most of the time), but I don't see women knocking down my door!

So that proves that girls do not go for jerks!


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

*Re: re: Why are girls attracted to jerks?*



Scrub Ducky said:


> Qolselanu said:
> 
> 
> > If a guy and a girl would like to try anal sex, good for them. If one of them just isn't up for anal sex, well hopefully out of respect the other person will acknowledge that insecurity.
> ...


Yeah, in pain. Some girls are really into it though, bless their hearts.



Mindflyer said:


> or slaps her really hard





Scrub Ducky said:


> :wtf slapping her while making love? do people actually do that? gosh that'd be weird. :um :lol


I don't know what kind of slapping he means, but a nice slap on the *** and hair pulling while goin' at it is a major turn-on.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

*Re: re: Why are girls attracted to jerks?*



time4sugar said:


> not true.....i showed interest in many "nice guys" to be pushed back because "i wasn't good enough", seems like some of you nice guys have high standards...but meh just my opinion
> 
> I know that the women in australia like all different kinds of men, because were all different!!!! and im sure its like that in your area too unless you have millions of women who are all the same??


This is interesting, my experience is completely different than yours. It really seems like women are all the same here (not in personality necessarily, but in what they want - confident dominant guys), while you feel it's the same with guys (that they only want dumb hot girls).

Maybe both of us have not been hanging out in the right places.


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## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

*Re: re: Why are girls attracted to jerks?*



Strange Religion said:


> a nice slap on the *** and hair pulling while goin' at it is a major turn-on.


Ya know, just the thought of that _used_ to disgust me, but I've definitely come around to the idea. I don't think I'd ever be into the whole S&M thing, but I'd definitely like to be more aggressive and a little rough every once in awhile. Hell, after so many years of no action at all, I'm up for just about anything.


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## Your Lover Scrub Ducky (Jul 26, 2004)

*Re: re: Why are girls attracted to jerks?*



Strange Religion said:


> [quote="Scrub Ducky":c1bb8]
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yeah, in pain. Some girls are really into it though, bless their hearts.[/quote:c1bb8]
uh oh, looks like someone has been poked the wrong way a few times. lol.



Strange Religion said:


> I don't know what kind of slapping he means, but a nice slap on the *** and hair pulling while goin' at it is a major turn-on.


Now you're talking my talk.
:evil :evil :evil :evil 
:evil :evil :evil :evil
:evil :evil :evil :evil 
:evil :evil :evil :evil


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

HAHAHA, this one guy won't give up on asking for the backdoor. We've tried it before and his weiner is way too big and he's too aggressive. He can forget about it.


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## Your Lover Scrub Ducky (Jul 26, 2004)

*Re: re: Why are girls attracted to jerks?*

Tell him you can't lift all 500lbs at once! 
lol, i actually dont know for sure cause I've never done it that way myself, I've just learned from reliable sources and people. I guess you have to experience it for yourself to really know. But...again, never really liked the idea of sending my jeebeejaabaa down that road. the regular way is fine for me...but maaaaybe i'd try it sometime and see if the methods work. i'd just have to put on like 5 condoms first....

If you're just not into it then tell him that. if he doesnt respect that and keeps asking, mase him and bite his toes. that'll get the point accross.



Inturmal said:


> I don't think I'd ever be into the whole S&M thing


the hells S&M anyways? is that where you tie eachother up or something? is that considered S&M? or is it just the crazy things like gagging someone, chaining them up and hanging them up-side-down while you lash them with a whip?

sounds like the name of a bookstore/cafe. S&M. Sam & Michelle's cafe.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Hehe, I definitely tell him "No." everytime he asks. He whines a bit, then moves on.

S&M is like bondage and stuff, I think. Crazy kids these days...

Urban Dictionary is always fun:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=S%26M


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## Your Lover Scrub Ducky (Jul 26, 2004)

> * Breast torture
> * Spanking
> * Whipping
> * Blood play
> ...


 :um :um :um :um

Yeah um I don't think S&M is for me...uke Freaky.

Hot wax? Like, burning someone with wax? I use candles alot and I've accidentally burned myself a few times. Maybe if I accidentally burned myself in front of an S&M person I woulda given them an orgasm.

:lol ...wow we really turned the direction of this thread. *high fives Strange*


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

Keep it going. I haven't had sex in two years. Just no S&M talk and I'm enjoying it.


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## Kelly (Dec 12, 2003)

opcorn opcorn 

...

...

:cig 

Have a nice day,
Kelly


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## Halcyon (Nov 24, 2003)

*Re: re: Why are girls attracted to jerks?*

maybe they just want sex or are just out for that physical attraction i never looked at girls like that but they are human and have those desires as well as guys so the jerks/the ones who don't think much are just easier to get the lay on probably...the guys who think too much usually spend a lot of time thinking and not enough time moving/action (ME)


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

Proof that being a jerk will always get you laid:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/04/ ... 0238.shtml


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

Lyric Suite said:


> Proof that being a jerk will always get you laid:
> 
> http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/04/ ... 0238.shtml


Well, you always hear about those death row inmates that get lots of letters from women all over the country. :lol

I don't really know what else to say that hasn't already been said here, and I haven't even read the whole thread. It's probably been said here already, but I've noticed that "nice guy" is usually another way to describe passive, unassertive guys who put women on a pedestal and try to act exactly in a way that they _think_ women like. They think they are the perfect boyfriend/husband. The first post in this thread is a good example of what I mean.


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## Halcyon (Nov 24, 2003)

Njodis said:


> Lyric Suite said:
> 
> 
> > Proof that being a jerk will always get you laid:
> ...


that actually makes a lot of sense because i think you just described me 

putting women on pedestal - ding!

Trying to act in the way they think they like - Ding!

think they are perfect boyfriend - not so sure about that one!


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## Nihlanth (Sep 1, 2004)

*Re: re: Why are girls attracted to jerks?*



Lyric Suite said:


> Proof that being a jerk will always get you laid:
> 
> http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/04/ ... 0238.shtml


No, that just proves that many women of this country are f--ed up in the head and are just as stupid/psychotic as their male counterparts in jail.

I bet most of the women who send those letters are old ugly hags who haven't gotten laid in 30 years.


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## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

*Re: re: Why are girls attracted to jerks?*



Scrub Ducky said:


> [quote="Strange Religion":e5adf][quote="Scrub Ducky":e5adf]
> 
> 
> 
> ...


[/quote:e5adf][/quote:e5adf]

Yep. Although, you forgot to mention when it comes to anal sex, there's no such thing as too much water based lube.


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## Your Lover Scrub Ducky (Jul 26, 2004)

What's water based lube? Lube that has water as a base? :b



BeNice said:


> Keep it going. I haven't had sex in two years. Just no S&M talk and I'm enjoying it.


lol ok...

...as I walked her back to her door, I felt her squeezing my hand more than usual. I couldn't help but gaze at her as we walked. She looked like an angel, it felt as if time stopped when I looked at her. We got to the door and she stepped in, I gave her a hug and kiss goodnight then turned to leave. Suddenly, she grabbed my arm and said "Ducky... wait..."
I turned to face her again. "Would you like to come in?" I said yes and walked into the living room. She eyed me as she locked the door. I could feel the sexual tension building with every waking moment. She then slowly walked up to me, stopping a few inches in front of me. She looked up at me as if she had something to say, but said nothing then bit her bottom lip and held eye contact and walked past me, brushing my arm as she did. I then turned around and took her hand and spun her back around to face me. Our eyes met again and her breathe became heavier, then I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around my waist and we shared a deep passionate kiss as I backed her up against the wall. I gently bit her bottom lip as I pulled away then began kissing her neck, every press of my lips causing her to moan. I un-buttoned her shirt and slowly made my way down her neck to her collarbone, and eventually, her upper chest, but stopped at the top of her breast. Gradually, I brought my eyes back up to meet her own. I held her now shaking body close as we shared another kiss. Her body then calmed to a slight quiver, our breathes the only thing breaking the silence...and even though she uttered no word, her eyes were piercing into mine, silently screaming _take me....take me..._

So we made our way to the bedroom. I gently placed her on the bed. Then she was like "Enough with the BS, whip it out dammit." She pulled me over and unzipped my pants, reached in, and pulled out....a jumbo sized....deck of cards.

And we played poker all night long. 
...and I lost all my money.


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## Restless Mind (Jul 19, 2006)

Haha, that was great Ducky.


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## time4sugar (Apr 4, 2007)

haha i second that and this thread is going sexual, how did that happen?

anyways to my point of this whole nice guy thread topic thingy, in effect everyone in this world goes for different people and there are plenty of guys and girls out there for everyone so i don't see any reason for anyone to be bitter and start a thread like this, patience is a virtue...


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## Your Lover Scrub Ducky (Jul 26, 2004)

time4sugar said:


> haha i second that and this thread is going sexual, how did that happen?


*points at Strange Religion*


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

It got sexual because Ducky and I are partners in perversity. lol


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Scrub Ducky said:


> time4sugar said:
> 
> 
> > haha i second that and this thread is going sexual, how did that happen?
> ...


Oh, so you put all the blame on me? I see how it is now. hahaha


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## Your Lover Scrub Ducky (Jul 26, 2004)

*Re: re: Why are girls attracted to jerks?*



Strange Religion said:


> It got sexual because Ducky and I are partners in perversity. lol


:lol :agree

We're unstoppable. No thread is safe.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Damn straight! They may even have to lock some of 'em, including this one. hehe

So bad...


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