# List some proactive ways you cope with SA



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

What positive and _proactive_ things do you to cope with SA?

(Please save me the response of replying with 'doing nothing because I'm too sacred', etc. This is for those who are proactive about their situations.)


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

Please know that I'm absolutely serious about this. This weekend, instead of countering negative thoughts with reasoned, thought out responses, I've been just yelling in my mind "I'm awesome!" or "F*** everyone else, I'm awesome!" If a negative thought occurred after that, I would imagine myself with my finger in its face, eyes wide, leaning into him with a big "F*** YOU!" I've also been yelling other curse words in my mind at that voice all weekend. It helps that I've been trying to curse in casual conversations as a part of my efforts to not give a flying f*** about what other people think. I think it's been working pretty well so far.


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## wraith (Feb 22, 2010)

I always try to strike up conversations with people at work.

I use my dog as a tool to talk to random strangers on the street If they also have dogs.

I'm working on the courage to talk to cute girls w
ho smile when they see my dog.


I really need to get some female friends and eventually get laid. Sexual frustration is killing me!!

Doing these things really amplifies all the things missing in my life, but for the most part I'm keeping my head up in the hopes of one day getting better.


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## agatha (Jul 4, 2009)

Hi, What I've been doing lately are some meditation and breathing exercises. They r really useful. Also I'm beginning to realize that life is really short, too short to do all the things I want to do, so where exactly is the time to be scared ? I know it may sound cliched, but it is scary how short life is.


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## fixmein45 (Jul 9, 2009)

Constantly using icebreakers with strangers. Just saying something not weird but that gets the other person to talk. Its hard because I so often feel like its not ok to talk to someone I don't know or that if there were interested they would talk to me, but if you just push yourself to keep on breaking the ice in non awkward ways with new people you meet alot of new people and stop being so afraid of strangers, and feel a lot better about yourself that youre not a socially ackward isolate.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

STKinTHEmud said:


> Please know that I'm absolutely serious about this. This weekend, instead of countering negative thoughts with reasoned, thought out responses, I've been just yelling in my mind "I'm awesome!" or "F*** everyone else, I'm awesome!" If a negative thought occurred after that, I would imagine myself with my finger in its face, eyes wide, leaning into him with a big "F*** YOU!" I've also been yelling other curse words in my mind at that voice all weekend. It helps that I've been trying to curse in casual conversations as a part of my efforts to not give a flying f*** about what other people think. I think it's been working pretty well so far.


Haha, I've done the same thing in the past, but I usually manage to go back to deep reasoning. I think that doing what your doing is a great way to stay motivated! Sometimes we substitute our thoughts till we have a chance to "sit down and think" rather than just telling it to f* off right off the bat. I've read how you've managed to go on some dates lately and I think your definitely doing what you have to do, and to be honest with you, it makes me glad because it shows that you can overcome SA-anyone can. For me, I just see everything now as a level of confidence, which can be altered depending on what I do and how I think; SA isn't even part of my equation anymore. In fact, everyone stuggles with confidence, no matter how social they appear; therefore, that makes us normal really...



liero133 said:


> I always try to strike up conversations with people at work.
> 
> I use my dog as a tool to talk to random strangers on the street If they also have dogs.
> 
> ...


Yeah, I've also noticed that the more things I get into, the more I realize how much I may be missing. Still, on the bright side, it is another great, great motivator, and probably exactly what you need to keep challenging situations...



agatha said:


> Hi, What I've been doing lately are some meditation and breathing exercises. They r really useful. Also I'm beginning to realize that life is really short, too short to do all the things I want to do, so where exactly is the time to be scared ? I know it may sound cliched, but it is scary how short life is.


I've never tried breathing exercises. Do they work? Yeah, life does go by quick though. Once again, can be a tool for motivation. Maybe pressuring ourselves due to time restraints isn't such a good strategy, but who am I to say really?



fixmein45 said:


> Constantly using icebreakers with strangers. Just saying something not weird but that gets the other person to talk. Its hard because I so often feel like its not ok to talk to someone I don't know or that if there were interested they would talk to me, but if you just push yourself to keep on breaking the ice in non awkward ways with new people you meet alot of new people and stop being so afraid of strangers, and feel a lot better about yourself that youre not a socially ackward isolate.


Definitely a great procedure as it helps undo negative thoughts and gives us room to see how capable we really are; probably one of the best things someone with shyness can do for him/herself if looked at the right way.


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## RobertWiggins (Mar 27, 2010)

I try to get outside every day and exercise.

I jog or go to the gym. I try to force myself out of the house!


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## OregonMommy (Mar 3, 2010)

agatha said:


> Hi, What I've been doing lately are some meditation and breathing exercises. They r really useful. Also I'm beginning to realize that life is really short, too short to do all the things I want to do, so where exactly is the time to be scared ? I know it may sound cliched, but it is scary how short life is.


I am totally with you on this. I've been practicing meditation consistently for 3 years and it has had amazing benefits, for SA also depression. It's my main way of coping now. It's helped calm me down and de-programmed some issues.
I'm starting to feel like we only have so many heartbeats and I don't have time to waste on negativity. Enjoy this life as much as you can!


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## Georgina 22 (Jan 4, 2009)

I try to get myself out of the house to go to the local shop or just for walk around a neighbourhood. I like to get out of the house when people are over at my house. Sometimes although I can't see the people, because they are in another room and I am in my room, just the thought of them in the house makes me anxious. So I like to get out for a walk to get my anxiety to cool down abit


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## Miss Meggie (Nov 19, 2009)

I use some positive coping statements that I've developed with my counsellor (and now with the help of my friend Frank as well). 
I think of all of the kind things my boyfriend, my friends Frank and Ben, and a few other people from my classes, etc. have said. 
I try to focus a lot on how good completing exposures will be for me and my goal of overcoming my anxiety whenever I'm in an anxious or uncomfortable situation.
And I try to do things with "safe people" who will help to keep me relaxed and (somewhat) confident as they encourage me to complete exposures. My friend Frank, for example, won't let me back down from an exposure unless he thinks I'm on the verge of becoming completely hysterical (which doesn't happen that much any more). But he'll stay with me, stand right by my side, maybe even hold my hand. He'll do silly things when he sees I'm starting to get super anxious like sing a few lines from a song we like or help start a conversation by talking about a movie we just watched or something.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I also have a support network with the help of a counselor, doctor, and a small group.

I really need to expand this out to the friendship realm. It is hard to find people my age, though. They are all busy with marriages or families.


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## shynesshellasucks (May 10, 2008)

fixmein45 said:


> Constantly using icebreakers with strangers. Just saying something not weird but that gets the other person to talk. Its hard because I so often feel like its not ok to talk to someone I don't know or that if there were interested they would talk to me, but if you just push yourself to keep on breaking the ice in non awkward ways with new people you meet alot of new people and stop being so afraid of strangers, and feel a lot better about yourself that youre not a socially ackward isolate.


I'm doing something similar as of late but without much icebreakers. Icebreakers might feel a little too risky for me. I'm not really doing anything crazy, but I'm just trying to talk a bit more. I try to keep away from talking in a way others would view as weird, since it could really bring my confidence down. I just try to say things that get people to talk more about themselves in a normal non weird way. Feeling as if you are interacting with people normally rarely brings your confidence down, but it can bring it up once you get good emotions.


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## plastics (Apr 11, 2010)

I'm working on eating right and exercise so I can start feeling better about myself...its hard but I'm trying.


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## sara01 (Feb 4, 2010)

When I go to the dog park I talk with random people  Noone judges you there and it's great practice, and you always have an excuse to leave because of your dog so there isn't much pressure...It always puts me in a good mood!


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## virgindelightly (Apr 13, 2010)

Crying in public - it releases the stress I feel around people, while at the same time showing peopel that I am stressed with out having to just stand there and look nervous. lol probably easier for me than a lot of people. i dont know.


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## virgindelightly (Apr 13, 2010)

Being humble. wearing comfortable practical clothing.


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## Cloudy Sky (Aug 9, 2009)

I tell myself that being under the reign of SA is not manly, and it works.


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