# Frustrated



## Renovation

I'm frustrated that $&@!!ing E just finally decided to get back to us. Who the $&@! does he think he is? The king of ___? It pisses me off that he's so busy and I'm not. Makes me feel like a complete and total loser!

It helps me to get this off my chest because:

1. I know I'm not a 'complete and total loser' - there are actually a lot of good things going on in my life at the moment. 

2. The fact that he's busy is actually a good thing - wouldn't you rather have a partner that's really busy than on that isn't?

3. Not reasonable to hold it against him that he has not been able to meet until now. 

My advice: have him meet with MC first. This will help you on multiple levels.

Ok, I feel better!


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## SpiderInTheCorner




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## Renovation

Woke up feeling really tired this morning. Went to bed about midnight after watching a Charlie Rose special on Robin Williams. They showed various interviews. What an amazing mind. A true genius. RIP.

Anyway, woke up about 530, which means I slept something like 5 hours. Not great, but about what I've been averaging for a while. Needless to say, I was dogged tired, but rather than try fall back asleep or, at least, rest, I decided instead to work on preparing for a presentation I have tomorrow. I had an idea and wanted to act on it immediately. 

So, I went a got my laptop and brought it to bed. I created exactly what I wanted - looked great - and then tried to shut my eyes for a bit, but, that frankly didn't help much. Got up around 740 and decided to head to the gym. I recently joined an online fitness community where we log in our daily activity and I didn't want to not post anything.

I did a 20 minute workout on the LifeCycle at a very low level. Not really much of a workout, but it got me out of the house and 20 minutes of some exercise is certainly better than none.

Came home and was feeling down, frustrated, and tired. Closed my eyes for about 20 minutes to try to get a little bit of rest, but decided I needed to get to work on my project.

Took try to shake my blues and get me refocused and energized, I wrote myself a pep talk in my journal. Normally, I'll do the equivalent of a cognitive behavior therapy, where I'll unload my "automatic thoughts", identify the cognitive distortions, and then reply with a "rational response" that argues against the automatic thought. 

This is usually quite helpful, but today I just wanted to cut to the chase to motivate myself to get busy, so I wrote a pep talk that, in essence, asked what choice I wanted to make today in terms of my mindset. It definitely helped get me going. I went to a local cafe and worked on my project for about 2 to 2 1/2 hours. Got a lot done. Completed about 80% of what I need to get done to be ready. Pleased with my effort and the result.

I also made an appointment to get my haircut, then went home and ate a big salad, posted on other parts of SAS, and then went and got my haircut. I actually feel good about getting my haircut. I almost procrastinated and made the excuse that the salon is too far away to walk and/or that I didn't have time. But I went and the guy who cuts my hair does a great job, so I'll look good for my meeting tomorrow.

So just got back and needed to vent and just put my thoughts out into the World Wide Web. I work alone for the most part. Everyone involved with the project works remotely, so, unless I go to a cafe, not a lot of human interaction.

Glad I found SAS because I now at least have a place to vent and clear my head.


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## Renovation

Work with this guy who is pissing me off. I have to stay on top of him to get **** done. He says he's going to do something and then he doesn't do it.

If you agreed to do it, then $&@!ing do it! And quit *****ing and moaning about the woman who works for you not doing what she's supposed to do, when you're not either! Plus, we need this $&@!ing report to manage the business. It's the only report we use. Can't make it any easier than that. You told me you'd have it complete three weeks ago and it's still not $&@!ing done! What the $&@! is up with that?

Plus, pick up the &@!ing phone when I call you and quit playing hard to $&@!ing get!

Plus, we've created a system, so work to that for goodness sake!


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## Swagonite

fire that guy lol


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## Renovation

The $&@er didn't create the reports he was supposed to, so I had to do it. He's a moody $&&@er. He's also a $&@ing hypocrite. He *****es and moans that his employee isn't doing what she's supposed to - that she's not organized enough. Look who is calling the kettle black. This pissed me off so much that I had a tough time sleeping, so I woke up feeling really tired. We're going to talk about all this today.


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## Renovation

Ok, so we finally got on the same page because I wrote the $&@!ing page. Otherwise, **** wouldn't get done. He's the most disorganized $&@er $&@er I've ever met.

I'm tired of having to stay on top of this $&@er $&@er to make sure **** gets done. But to his credit he is staring to get stuff done. I just need to keep him focused and check in daily.


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## Renovation

Me. Ok, so things are starting to get better, but I'm so used to being frustrated and anxious that it's difficult for me not to continue to feel nervous/anxious.

Now my anxiety is related to my ability to perform and juggle multiple projects and not get all frazzled because I have so much going on. 

I need to do something to help me feel happy and calm as opposed to frustrated and anxious, which has been my mode for what seems like forever.

RR. Ok, why are you feeling anxious? What are you afraid of?

Me. I now have so much going on that I'm afraid something will fall through the cracks or that I'll somehow not do a good job.

RR. Elaborate

Me. For example, next week I have a number of important meetings plus all this work I need to do. I'm particularly anxious about Thursday because I have to juggle conference calls with prospects while I'm at a client site. I'm afraid that I might not have enough time to prep for the calls and get set up. Plus, what if I can't get an internet connection?

RR. Here's a suggestion. See if you can reschedule the meeting with M, so you only have one meeting to worry about.

Me. Good idea.

RR. I appreciate you feeling nervous because that shows you care about doing a good job. In terms of juggling a lot of different tasks/projects/responsibilities, this come down to good time management and your willingness to put in the necessary hours to get the job done, which you've demonstrated over and over again you're capable of doing. Does that make sense?

Me. Absolutely. Thanks. This was highly helpful!


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## Renovation

NOT GOING TO LET HIM GET ME FRUSTRATED

Sent an email to the guy I've been complaining about last night. No response. Just called him and he didn't pick up. In the past this would piss me off like nobody's business, but I'm not going to let it bug me now. I'm simply going to find a way to work around him. It's really tough to work with someone with such anger issues and lack of maturity. But will talk to it.


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## Renovation

Me. This guy I'm working with is super emotional and apparently all pissed off because the call with a good prospect yesterday didn't go as planned. So, he basically, goes radio silent. He's $&@ing pissed off. I understand his frustration. He's put in a lot of effort and is not getting any results. 

He's invested time and money and is not seeing any return, so he's understandably ticked off and frustrated. I do understand it, so I'm going to leave it alone. As soon as I get paid, I'm going to give him some money.


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## Renovation

Me. I'm super frustrated with MC. It just absolutely pisses me off when he goes off the rails and then just disappears. He gets pissed off, then does not respond to emails or calls. This really frustrates the hell out of me.

RR. Do you want his lack of response to bother you as much as it is?

Me. Of course not

RR. Would you prefer to feel happier and more optimistic about life?

Me. Of course

RR. So what's getting in the way?

Me. I feel guiltily that he and his wife have put in effort and are not making any money. On a scale of 1 to 10 I'm at a 10.

RR. You sent him a comp plan for his wife that he in principle has agreed to right?

Me. Yes.

RR. So, there is now no reason to feel guilty about about that situation. He has accepted that deal as fair and you, in fact, made it better. So, it's a fair comp plan. Do you feel it is a fair comp plan?

Me. Yes, particularly if we find a way to automate it.

RR. Regarding his comp, you talked about how he now has the opportunity to make more money because he'll be involved with delivering projects. He (and you) got very excited about that, right?

Me. Yes. We talked it through and saw that this arrangement could in fact be very lucrative for him.

RR. Ok. So again from a comp perspective, do you feel this is a fair plan where MC could make a very good living?

Me. Yes. I calculated the comp plan and it seems like a fair and reasonable plan, where based on performance, he can make a good living.

RR. So, it seems that what triggered all this was his meeting with prospect V, right?

Me. Right. It apparently didn't go as well as he would have liked. 

RR. So, if it had gone well, then everything would be ok, right?

Me. Yes.

RR. Listen, D, what happened during and as a result of that meeting is completely out of your control. Your heart is in the right place because you care about him. The comp is fair. There is little else you can do other than what you already offered to do. Caring about his well being is one thing. Getting frustrated and ruining your weekend because of this is quite another.

Me. Fair enough. The bigger issue is the viability of the business.

RR. Ok. Let's examine that. What are your near term opps?

Me. Let me list them
- F___
- G___
- K___

RR. The combination of these projects will bring in about __ over the next 3 months, right?

Me. Yes.

RR. Here's the key question. Will this be enough to cover all your expenses and have money left over?

Me. Yes.

RR. Ok, so stop worrying for the rest of the weekend. Please.

Me. Ok. This was very helpful.

RR. There is a market for your product. People are paying money for competitive solutions. There are other companies that are generating ___ in your space. You now have paying and referenceable customers. The reaction to the product has been overwhelmingly positive. You have viable prospects. You have a new partner that is joining that can bring a lot of value. You're involved with this K project that can bring in a decent income enough to cover your mortgage the next 6 months. So, quit whining and worrying and get after it. Go harder than ever.


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## Renovation

The goal of this post is to feel better, energized, and optimistic after I complete it.

I went to bed around 11pm last night and woke up around 4:45. So a little under 6 hours of sleep. This has been the case for the last few weeks - actually, for what seems like forever. 

Part of this is poor sleep hygiene practices on my part. Part of it is stress. 

In terms of sleep hygiene, I'm getting to bed way too late. I've been getting to bed around 1am and even 2am during the week. Usually, stay up and watch Seinfeld and/or Charlie Rose. It's as if though I'm afraid to go to bed until I've started nodding off even if I'm already very sleepy. I'm afraid to be alone with my thoughts, so watching tv preoccupies me until I'm ready to fall asleep.

The problem is that because I go to bed late, I'll wake up later than I would like. But worse, I'm tired because I didn't get much sleep the night before. So I'm already feeling wiped out and the day hasn't even started. I'm also afraid to wake up too early because I don't like how my mornings start and again don't want to be alone with my stressful thoughts. The fact that it's dark and cold doesn't help matters.

Ideally, I would like to wake up fully energized and get in the gym early, but haven't felt this way in a long while. Although, I do feel like this on occasion.

ADVICE FOR IMPROVING SLEEP

So there are a number of things I can do from a sleep hygiene perspective. Will look at the stress issue a bit later.

First, I can do my 'things go here' ritual before 8pm every night. This will include cleaning the kitchen, washing dishes, prepping the bed, prepping my gym bag, cleaning the back room, washing my face/teeth, and writing out my game plan for the next day. The goal of this ritual will be to be 'good to go', so that everything is clean and organized when I wake up in the morning and I'll literally be good to go.

In terms of sleep hygiene practices, it might be helpful for me to take a hot shower and take my sleep supplements by 10pm. 

It would also be helpful if I stopped my tv viewing by 10pm. Instead, I could listen to rain sounds, do some journal writing, read a helpful book, and do some tapping with positive affirmations. I could also have some chamomile tea.

These are all doable tasks. I've not done them to date because I'm too tired and it's easier to just lay on the couch. I need to come up with a key phrase that will prompt me to get up and do the practices I suggested. Something like "I love myself and owe it to myself to take care of myself". Saying an Our Father can also help. Another idea is to set alarms for 730 to start the 'this goes here' ritual and another for 10pm to start my pre-sleep routine. 

These are all doable and since I want to feel better and believe that like any other human being I deserve to be well and rested in order to be set the foundation for love, kindness, joy, enthusiasm, and optimism to be part of my life, I will take the initiative to do these things.


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## Renovation

HIGHLIGHT THE GREAT THINGS THAT ARE HAPPENING
1. The reaction to the prod continues to be outstanding - K gave you yet another example
2. FS - this is a very exciting opportunity
3. The income from the FS opportunity - awesome
4. No longer have to interact with MC on a day to day - such a relief 
5. The K opportunity - lots of potential for upside here
6. The income from the KPE opps
7. Exciting to work with MG on the G and C opps
8. The K opportunity for PM to be standardized across team
9. Not having to depend on MC to get stuff done
10. Not having to depend on M to get stuff done
11. Solving the l___ g__ problem
12. Not having to pay MC for awhile
13. The progress with the prod
14. The IC opportunity 
15. The SF opportunity
16. Solving the p__ d___ problem
17. A strong pipeline
18. Potential additional opportunities through MG
19. Working with EC
20. Potential additional opportunities through EC
21. The opportunity for the m__ app
22. The fact prospects are liking PM more than the competition
23. The progress I have made and confidence I have gained as a c__
24. The opportunities that K and MC are already working on
25. The opportunity to increase targeted prospecting


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## Renovation

TIME TO GET HAPPY

RR. OK, you have suffered long enough. It's now time to take a deep breath and live the saying "today is the first day of the rest of your life".

If you look at it from that perspective, there are a lot of great things that are happening and the company is in the best shape it's ever been. You have customers. You have a great product that is only getting better. You have a team that is committed. You have great partners. You have active projects. You will soon have very good income coming in and the prospects of a continued flow of opportunities. 

So, from a business and financial perspective, you are in the most promising situation you have been in in years! If you compare the business today to where it was a few years ago, it's night and day. 

It's now time to pour it on and you don't have to depend on MC to make this happen. So, let's pour it on! Let's get after it like never before! Go hard! Get fired up! It's go time! 

Same goes for your physical self. Time to get recommitted to getting in excellent shape.

Feel better?

Me. Absolutely! This was a huge help! Thank you!:clap


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## Renovation

Well. I got good news today. That $&@?-$&@ing *****er doesn't want to work with me any more. This is the best possible news. It's a huge burden off my shoulders. 

I'll finally be able to get stuff I've been wanting to get done without having to worry about having to go through him. I'll also no longer need to worry about having to ask him for information because I can now get it directly from K. 

This is really a huge relief. Such a relief that I don't need to speak with him every day.

He thinks he's the worlds greatest ____. If he's so great, why hasn't he ___? **** him!

I'm sick and $&@!ing tired of his ****ty attitude and anger issues. Don't need that bull****!

Good $&@!ing riddens.


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## Renovation

ACCOUNTABILITY 

I need a dose of initiative right now. I normally at this time just lay on the couch and watch TV. I watch until maybe one in the morning, while I read my iPad. Usually, I leave stuff lying around that I have to pick up the next day. Same thing with the kitchen. 

Tonight I want to take more initiative and go to bed earlier. I want to clean up my room and the kitchen so that when I wake up the house is nice and clean and everything is organized. That's a nice feeling. I can probably get a lot of this done in 12 minutes. Be right back.


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## Renovation

ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER

OK. I'm back. Took a little longer than 12 minutes, but I got a ton of stuff done. I cleaned the kitchen counters, put the dishes away, cleaned the kitchen floor, filled up my water bottle, took out the bathroom garbage, organized my gym bag, prepped my bed for sleep, cleaned the bedroom, cleaned the tv room, put away folded clothes, washed my face and teeth. Man, I got of ton of stuff done.

There are other habits I want to start, primarily focused on wellness. I want to start doing deep breathing exercises, especially at night. I want to start drinking more water. I want to get back in the gym and get really focused on getting my weight down. No excuses.

I also want to start doing 'happiness exercises' on a daily basis to give myself the best shot at success. Things like listening to singing along to happy tunes. Working out to disco music. Being silly/playful. Starting to do push-ups. Reading books and articles about optimism and resilience. Posting accomplishments in SAS.

It's been awhile since I've been feeling not crappy let alone happy and feeling optimistic at least about my near term future, which is all I can ask for. So, thank God for SAS. Super helpful to have a place to vent and think things through and put them in a more positive light.

Now I'm going to do my breathing exercises and then I'm going to read a few pages of the book on willpower, do some tapping and positive affirmations, and get to bed at a reasonable hour.


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## Renovation

SLEEP JOURNAL

Went to bed a little earlier than usual around 1130. I did deep breathing exercises before going to bed and then a relaxation exercise in bed, which helped me fall asleep relatively faster than usual. I first woke up about 530, so about 6 hours sleep but then did another relaxation exercise and fell back asleep, woke up again, did another relaxation exercise, didn't fall back asleep, but I at least relaxed, so I'm not quite as tired as I usually am when I wake up.


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## Renovation

TODAYS GOALS

I want to shave, get in a workout, drink more water, do deep breathing exercises, be a kind and positive person in all my interactions - pretend I'm in church, have fun, get in an energetic, enthusiastic, and optimistic frame of mind. Be very loving to my wife.

On the work front, my goal today is to move the business forward, especially in terms of lead gen. I also want to start making progress on the projects. I want to do phenomenal work so that the client will continue to hire us.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN
Had a good meeting with G. He's such a great guy. Such a blessing. Same with H. Thank you God! So grateful for the involvement. Got some good stuff done this morning. Forced myself to immediately provide G with the info he needed. Previously, I might have put this off. But, this time I set the timer and got after it.

Haven't shaved in a few days. Had an early morning phone call, so almost put this off again, but got the shave in before the call and it feels good to be clean shaven.

Still some lingering feelings of anger toward MC, but it absolutely positively is for the best for both of us and I definitely care about his well being, so this is a good move for both of us. The key is to generate a high level of ___. 

I'll do a quick 'this goes here' when I get home and then have my meeting with K. Goal is to be upbeat and get her focused. Will check in later.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

OK. Just got off the pho with K. Overall, I think it will be a lot better for us to work together, instead of through MC. The call took a half hour longer than I wanted it to, but since this was our initial call, I let it slide. My goal was to relationship build and have her feel good about being involved with the company. I also wanted her to get focused on targets for this week, which we also accomplished.

The worrier in me just worries about whether or not these efforts will pay off. In other words, will they generate the results we need. If I look at the pipeline, my conclusion is that it will because history has shown this to be the case. We also have no choice. So if anything we need to double down on em. 

So, let's take a step back to reduce the frustration / anxiety. You have projects that have started or will be starting. Which means that you will have very good income over the next 2-3 months. This will help you fund your em efforts. I suggest you team up with K and just figure out how together you can increase the volume do effort. Set the goal to do >1000 per week. 

You now also have the opportunity to do your own ___ through K. This is a huge relief because because you know it will get done and followed up. So, all told, you are in a much better spot. The volume has gone down significantly over the last two months, so it can only go up. The volume for August was 1000 or only about 230 per week. I think you should get fired up about the new opportunity to now have full control over your m___ efforts. 

One of your biggest frustrations was not knowing whether or not this was getting done and not finding out until after the fact that it had not. You lost a lot of valuable time. That's now water under the bridge. So I would spend a disproportionate amount of your time and investment on l__ g__ the next two months. If need be hire another person, buy lists, buy tools, do whatever you can to double your l___ f___.

Ok. In terms of the rest of the day, I have a list of tasks to get after. I'm going to get a quick bite to eat and then set the timer for one hour of p___.

Will check in later.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Just spent the last couple of hours ___. Very productive. Enjoying the work because I feel I'm doing it as part of a team. Plus, I find this work challenging and it's the best way to generate interest and build the business. 

Had a very healthy lunch. Big salad with scrambled eggs and beans. Plus had a protein smoothie for a snack. Need to drink more water and get to the gym.

Will check in later.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Sent out a few more emails. I've been doing this for about three hours. Hopefully, this will yield some responses. This is our best shot at generating opportunities. Have to be relentless and creative.

Ok. So have spent the better part of the day working since about 730 in the morning pretty much without stopping except for a short lunch break.

Pretty tired. It was high concentration work. Normally, at this time I might go to a local coffee shop, but that's not really super productive. It's just a way to get out of the house and be with people.

It's also right about this time or situation in which I start feeling lonely and anxious. This is one of the major disadvantages of working alone.

I also end up feeling guilty whenever I stop working because I feel as if though I should be working nonstop in order to get my business off the ground.

I know this is counterproductive. This would probably be a good time for me to go to the gym and then maybe a coffee shop to continue to work. This gets me out of the house and allows me to get some fresh air.

I wish I had a close friend with whom I could hangout and collaborate to build the business. I do, fortunately, see this opportunity.

To put things in perspective, I am feeling better today than I was yesterday. I feel a bit overwhelmed and anxious, but not quite as bad as in previous weeks.

ADVICE
Here's my advice. Go to the gym and do a strength workout. Write down your action items so you feel better that you have things under control. Think about how you can generate more opps for the business. Do your deep breathing exercises. Do tapping. Drink water. Get fresh air. Hangout in the park by the gym. Do your cognitive development exercises. Don't stay home alone. Go out.

Allow yourself to feel joy. Be silly. Do the 'you're the best' exercise. These types of practices have been proven to work and you yourself have felt first-hand the positive effect of doing them.

Me. Great. Thanks for the advice. Very helpful. Will check in later.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Since my last check in, I worked out at the gym. I did 20 minutes of circuit training using very light weights. There are grandmas that lift heavier weights than I do, but, heck, at least, I got in. Felt good too. 

I got to to the gym around 3 PM which I think is the absolute best time to workout. Not a lot of people. Easy to get in and out. I think I now prefer this to early morning. I prefer to get up early and get to work and then have the afternoon free to go do a quick workout. I can go in my gym clothes, workout, then head out to a local cafe.

Speaking of which, I stumbled upon an absolutely awesome cafe not too far from where I live. It serves great coffee, is spacious, free wifi, and has parking. They also have what appears to be an excellent food menu. Plus, and this is the best part, it's no where near as crowded as a Starbucks. This place is awesome and will definitely become a regular spot.

I can see getting into a routine where I go to the gym and then come here afterwards, regardless of the time of day. Very excited about this find. Thank you God! Was looking for a place where I could get out of the house that was easy to get to, was spacious, had great coffee, good food, and parking. What a wonderful discovery.

Ok. It's about a quarter to five. Going to call MG and then set the timer for 30 minutes and get after it.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

OK. Got a lot of stuff done I wanted to get done. Pretty much cleared my to do list for today. Just need to prep my clothes and computer bag for a business trip tomorrow. Need to wake up at 4am - yuck!

But want to leave the place super clean so that when I return everything is in its place. 

There something about our home looking nice, organized, and clean that makes me feel really good. Makes me feel safe. Makes me feel that things are under control or, at least, not too far out of control.

I'd say today was a good day. Haven't been able to say this in a while. Want to do my deep breathing exercises and take a shower before I go to bed tonight.

Obviously need to go to bed early to at least get 6 hours of sleep. I can nap on the plane. 

Might check in later. We'll see.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Lots going through my mind. I'm tired. Woke up at 130am today. Went to bed early to catch an early morning flight, but was hoping to sleep until 430. Tried falling back asleep. Back later.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Overall, things are getting better. I only need one or two breaks to put the company in a strong position for growth. The great news is that those opportunities are out there AND identified. So they're real. Thank God!

Have reconnected with a close friend for whom I have tremendous respect. He's a great person personally and professionally. A very positive person with a great heart and work ethic. Blessed to know him and work with him. Much, much better dynamic compared to the person with whom I was working previously.

OK. Let's focus on today and what I need to get done. Fortunately, lots of stuff on my plate. To not feel overwhelmed need to make sure I'm well organized, have my priorities and tasks planned for the day and that get after it. Feels a little overwhelming, but much prefer to be anxious about having to manage too much work than to be anxious because I have no or very little work.

So I'm going to finish planning my day and then set the timer for one hour and get after it.

Will check in later. BTW, need to drink more water today. Period.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Having a better day. Have gotten a lot done. PM looks fantastic! Very exciting. Now the big question is can G get this completed in time for DF. We're getting very close.

So, overall, having a very productive day and so is K, it seems. Which is good. Have to pray that this turns into some opportunities. 

The good news is that a few new doors have opened up. The one with M and two with G. These are both very real. Plus K has a few up her sleeve. 

Also, thank God for the new project opportunities. Very exciting. Now need to start working on the model. So let's get to it.

And drink more water!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Lots going on. Feeling a bit overwhelmed, but I'm making steady progress. Tired of worrying about finances all the time. Should start receiving some decent income in the very near term, which will be a huge relief. But I don't want to let my money worries bog me down. The calmer and more positive I am, the higher the likelihood of my doing great work and being productive. Thank God that we have some funds that can cover me until I get this other income. But having to shell out large dollars for business travel is hard. Hopefully, will get reimbursed in a timely manner.

Getting rid of a toxic relationship makes all the difference. I have been in better spirits all week. Goal today is to be super productive. I did a very good job of this yesterday. I switched my routine and now I workout in the afternoon, which frees my mornings to get work done. I prefer this approach because it helps me get off to a more productive start. Plus, the gym isn't as crowded in the afternoon. I then go to a cool cafe I found and work for a few more hours, so truly maximizing my day.

Ok, let's get to it! Will check in later.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Feeling a bit flustered right now. Disappointing to hear that IM wants to wait. At least, the door seems to be open for later, but, nonetheless, disappointing.

My immediate reaction whenever I hear something like this is fear. Fear that we're not going to make it. So, probably, helpful to take a step back and put things in perspective.

First off, the good news is that you have income and real opportunities. The other consideration is that it only takes one deal to get things going. And just in the last couple of days you uncovered situations where people might be able to walk you into deals. 

MJ is creating an opportunity for you. She told you what it's important to their CEO and these are things you can do for them. Out of the blue, Gordon contacted you about a couple of opps he might be able to walk you into. EC is super well connected and fired up about working together. He brings a ton of credibility. 

Outside of this, you have SF as an opportunity, plus whatever deals KI and MC are working on.

I know it's hard, but things are not as gloomy as you might be making them out to be. 

It only takes one!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Need to vent. ****** ****ing M continues to disappoint. He says he's going to do something and then he doesn't. Super frustrating! He told K he would do the SOW and then he doesn't do it. That's so ****ed up!

He completely dropped the ball on a lead that ended up making a buying decision with another vendor. That's ****ed up!

I'm also flustered because I haven't gotten any responses to my prospecting emails. They're well written and have worked in the past. 

Ok, so let's take a deep breath and see if we can come up with a list of ten reasons to feel VERY optimistic.

1. The FS project. This is a great opportunity because it's a well known entity.
2. There is a natural link to PM at the end of the engagement, which is exciting
3. The K opportunity. Lots of upside here.
4. The G project. Revenue plus PM opportunity 
5. The CT project. Revenue plus PM opportunity.
6. The reach out by Gordon.
7. MJ might be creating an opportunity
8. K just mentioned that the NS call went very well. Have a high level of interest. 
9. The mobile app is looking great!
10. Getting EC involved in the business could be huge

Let's look at it a different way: why no need to panic TODAY.
1. Have income.
2. Have opportunity for additional income from K
3. Have opportunity to close 3-5 deals between now and the end of the year

P gave you very good advice. It only takes one. And there does seem to be the very real opportunity to close three new deals between now and year end. Between SF, TV, NS, the MJ opportunity, RP, and P's company plus the K1 deals and any new deals, this is feasible.

Want to make sure to go through PM to review the pipeline. This will be a very good exercise.

Ok, feeling a bit better. Always helpful to get my thoughts down on paper.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

OK. Lots on my mind. I'm feeling tired. Went to bed kind of late last night. And worked on a project this morning that required a high level of concentration.

Feeling tense. Pissed that ****ing MC is such a ****ing ***hole. I'm pissed that he hasn't done jack ****.

RR. Ok, let's talk. What exactly is bothering you?

Me. For one, I'm frustrated that I haven't gotten paid yet. I'm frustrated that the FS deal hasn't been signed yet. I'm frustrated to have to be so careful about spending money. I wish we could do something fun. I'm frustrated that we don't have another closed deals. I'm frustrated that we didn't do more ___ before so we don't have a many opportunities as we could. I'm frustrated that BB is stagnating because M is so busy. I'm frustrated because I wish we were getting a much higher response to our email marketing. Makes me feel like a loser that we don't get high response rates.

RR. Seems to me that you're over reacting. First off, you have three projects you're working on or about to work on. The FS project is definitely happening you heard from RC that everything was being approved. This is fantastic. Plus, YOU are doing great work on the K project. Great work! This project gives you the opportunity to do more work. 

Who says you can't have fun. You don't have to spend a lot of money to have fun. Get out of the house. Make reservations for the movie tomorrow. Go eat tonight somewhere fun. Don't put off joy. Try a different neighborhood. Do 12 minutes of this goes here. Then get out the house. Get a workout in. Enjoy the day.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Super frustrated right now!

RR. Why? What happened?

Me. Just got off the phone with K. And she's so ****ing needy. Plus she has a voice and style that is really grating. All I hear from her are problems.

RR. Such as?

Me. Well, first of all, she told me that MC wants to cancel using the LI subscription and that if we want to use it, it will cost $120 a month. That just annoys the hell out of me. Anything having to do with spending more money drives me batty.

RR. What else?

Me. Then we spend half an hour on getting B to create a list. It's so much ****ing work! That I hate doing. 

RR. Here's my advice. First of all, don't over react. Take a step back. Keep your cool. Shake it off. Take a few deep breaths. Then simply email the instructions to B to do an initial test. Research how to handle bounces with YW. Research how to the ___ tool works. Your goal this week is to send 500 emails. Find out what the limit is with YW. 

Me. OK

RR. Is there a bright side to any of this?

Me. I suppose. If we figure all this out, then we can significantly increase our email volume, which has proven to be our best channel. If B can send x number of emails per day, then K can follow them up. So she doesn't have to spend her time emailing, but instead follows up.

RR. That's a god thing, right?

Me. Yeah. But my big fear is that no one will respond.

RR. It's worked in the past and it's proven to be your best method, so it's worth continuing to do.

Me. Yeah.

RR. I can tell you're still anxious. So what else is on your mind?

Me. I'm just scared that the business won't flourish and frustrated about our financial situation.

RR. Just yesterday you were feeling positive. You were thinking "Things are DEFINITELY getting better", right?

Me. Yeah.

RR. The only thing that changed is that K said she wants you to spend $120 a month and that she brought up some complications with LI.

Me. True.

RR. Well, seems to me that overall, things are getting better. You have prospects. You're making progress with the product. 

Me. Ok, I'll take a deep breath and get after it and also get the call to MC off my chest.

RR. Excellent!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Very frustrated. K gets on my nerves. Why can't I have that tool? Ok, I'll just do it manually. Oh, ok I suppose I can do that.

The frustration is manifold. 

I'm frustrated that we don't have any business for the product. 
I'm frustrated that MG at BB hasn't responded. 
I'm frustrated that HP hasn't responded. 
I'm frustrated that MC is still pissed off. 
I'm frustrated that I don't have tons of dough. 
I'm frustrated that V fell through. 
I'm frustrated that IM fell through. 
I'm frustrated because I have so much stuff on my plate.
I'm frustrated that PM isn't ready yet.
I'm frustrated that HP hasn't completed the product.
I'm frustrated we're not getting 10 leads a week
I'm frustrated I don't have money to put into ___

RR. Wow. Lots on your mind.

Me. No kidding.

RR. Let's take another perspective because this one isn't helping matters. It certainly does no good for your mental state, I'm sure you'll agree.

Me. That's for sure.

RR. Ok. Let's do this. Let's first look at what is going well and then decide what actions you can take to alleviate some of the issues. Let's start with what's going well.

Me. Ok

The FS project is getting started. Great because it's nice income.
Great because PM is part of it.
MG sent me a note about the ROF ___ I built complimenting me on it.
This is great because it should impress the client, which in turn can mean more business.
It can also be helpful in approaching other PE firms.
The G project has started.
This is great because it means income.
It's also great because I can use these learnings for the FS project.
There's also opportunity for PM here.
The fact EC is getting involved in the business
This is great because he brings a ton of credibility
This is great because he's very well connected
This is great because you'll have another senior person to work with
This is great because he might be able to bring some near term business
This is great because he can bring some ideas in terms of how to build the business
BB is a happy customer. This is great because they can speak with prospects.


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## Renovation

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Me. MC is such a ****ing ***hole! That's totally ****ed up how he treated K. This guy is completely out of control. He ruined her week. She did a great job. Was fired up. But his *****ing and moaning just ruined her day and actually made her cry she was so frustrated. He has anger management and emotional issues, no doubt about it. 

Plus, to make matters worse, he has illusions of grandeur. He thinks he's ****ing ZZ. He can do no wrong. He drives me nuts. I hate speaking with him.

RR. I understand your frustration. He's been causing problems for you for the last several months, but, the reality is that you need him and he can be very effective on the phone. The key is to clearly define everyone's roles and responsibilities and set the ground rules for what's acceptable and unacceptable behavior.

Since you're not paying him, you need to focus more on emphasizing the need for everyone to treat each other with kindness and lead by example. Minimize your interactions with him and just make sure to be more in a listen mode when you speak with him and constantly feed his ego - be generous with your compliments. 

Continue to focus on building the ____line. Remember, winning cures everything!

Was this helpful?

Me. Absolutely! Thanks!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Off to a good start today. Did my morning rituals, which put me in a good mood. Planning on having a very productive day today. I have been blessed with a number of project opportunities and I will do a phenomenal job so that we delight the client and they continue to hire us. Let's get after it!:clap


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. OK. Lots of stuff on my mind I need to get out of my system.

First of all, I continue to be absolutely pissed off at MC. He's such a bully. I'm tired of speaking with him. I wish I was in a position to let him go, but it's not in my best interests to do so. So, I need to figure out a way to work with him and not have him get pissed off. 

To do this I need to focus on being kind. I need to minimize my contact with him, but when I do speak with him, I need to be very agreeable even if I don't agree. Unless it's something egregious, better to zip my lip. I need to be the calmest and kindest person in the "room".

RR. I think that's a great idea. I also encourage you to do something to immediately shift your focus whenever you catch yourself thinking about him. Get up. Do some push-ups. Put on some good singalong tunes. In other words, use it as a trigger to do something that puts you in a positive state and creates great energy. In essence, go from a state of frustration to a state of elation.


Me. That's a great idea. Let me do this right now. I'll take a big swig of water.

RR. Excellent. What else is on your mind?

Me. Well, I'm frustrated that I haven't gotten paid yet. I have a few good paying projects that I've started, which is great, but I don't know when I'm going to get paid and I have some major bills to pay. I'm not super frustrated because I believe this will get rectified in the next couple of weeks. The hassle is that I need to move money around, especially in order to pay K, which I need to do so by the end of this week - a week from Monday at the latest.

RR. Ok. Let's think this through because I know it's weighing on you. Want me to coach you on what to do?

Me. Please.

RR. Ok. Since it's not likely you're going to get paid this week, let's work under that assumption. Here's what you need to do even though it's not ideal. 

Me. Ok, let's hear it.

RR. First thing you need to do is move $___ from __ to your personal account. Let's take a quick look on what funds you have available. So you need to sell $___ of ___ first thing Monday morning. These funds should be available for transfer by Wednesday or Thursday. So on Wednesday or Thursday you need to deposit $___ into your business account. Please take a moment to write this down on your task list.

Me. Ok. I did it.

RR. Good. Then you need to pay K. Let's think through the options. You can write her a check for the full amount. You can pay her in gift cards. You can pay her from your personal account so it doesn't come from the company and simply not declare it as an expense. This seems like your best bet. 

Me. Ok. Thanks for helping me think this through. This is the best play. 

RR. Good. Glad I can help. What else?

Me. Well, I'm frustrated that paying her has to be such a hassle. I wish I had a ton of money in the bank, so this wouldn't even be an issue.

RR. I know, but, thank God, that you will in very short order have very good income coming in, plus the prospect of continuing to make good money. 

Me. Yes, thank God is right. It would be terrible if I didn't have any income coming in. So, I'll hang tight, watch my expenses and then just pay the rest of my bills when I get paid. But, I'm not going to beat the hell out of my place. I now have a plan to take care of things the next week. 

RR. Let's think this fully through because K is not your only expense. You also have the phone bill and the insurance bill as well as your mortgage.

Me. Yeah, I know.

RR. So, option one is you get paid in the next two weeks and immediately pay all these bills. There's a chance this will happen, but let's not assume this for now.

Me. Ok

RR. You need to pay your phone bill first. I would pay it on Monday from your joint account. Just pay it and get this off your chest and taken care of, so you don't have to worry about having your service shut off. 

Me. Ok

RR. Pay your insurance bill on Tuesday 9/30 by calling in your payment. This will allow you to have N's income on Tuesday 9/30 so you'll have enough funds to pay. 

Me. Ok. This all seems workable. 

RR. Anything else?

Me. No. I think this covers it for now. Very helpful. Thanks. I definitely feel better.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Got quite a bit done today. I completed 7 of the 8 sections of G project. In terms of next steps for this, I need to finish section 8. I then need to review each section and work on the recommendations. Allocate 10 minutes per section. You don't need to complete each section. Just brainstorm the sections so when you meet with MG you have a running start. Allocate 2 hours first thing in the morning. Assuming you start around 7am you'll be done with this part by 9am.

You can them turn your attention to FS. The two key next steps here are to start the FSPB template and to complete the kickoff deck. The key focus of the deck and your meeting with R is to answer the question, "what's the plan for the next 2-3 weeks and what deliverables should I expect?". You should treat this just as if though you were working with a senior level executive. There are all sorts of great opps that can come out of this. 

So, after you complete the next phase of the G project at around 9am, you can allocate 2 hours to work on FS. 

Don't forget to take care of the financial stuff first thing, to get this out of the way. 

Leave for RC around 2. So assuming you finish the FS stuff around 11am, you'll have another 2-3 hours to work on either G or FS. Or you can also do P stuff. Suggest you plan out your week. 

Make sure to do your evening rituals and track it tonight.

Out for now. Might be back later.:thanks


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. OK, tons on my mind that I need to get out of my system.

RR. Let's hear it.

Me. First, I'm feeling overwhelmed by the amount of very detailed work I need to get done between now and the end of the week. It's critical that I do a phenomenal job so that we delight the client and put ourselves in a position for future work. I've in some ways made our job more complicated, but it's the right thing to do for the client and will definitely help us long term once the model is built. It's just that with everything else I need to do, I'm not sure how I'll find the time to do everything at a very high level and I won't settle for anything less than that. The client is very demanding, but what set doing will exceed their expectations. 

RR. Good. What else?

Me. I'm a bit frustrated with MG because he agreed to such a short time frame, but then again so did I. At the end of the day, this is a GREAT problem to have.

RR. Good point

Me. I'm grateful to have the problem of having too much work than not enough or none at all, which has been the case for awhile now. I think I just need to do a really good job of making sure I capture my action items and of scheduling project work time by project. 

RR. That's a great approach. Take a moment to do this now.

Me. Ok. I did that and it definitely helped. Should be able to get a lot of stuff done and have allocated time to work on each in a manner that makes me feel comfortable with the amount of time I can dedicate to each and the sequence of the work.

RR. What else?

Me. Frankly feeling tired/sleepy. 

RR. Tell me what's going well.

Me. There's actually a ton of stuff going well. We're making great progress with PM. The product is looking great! G is doing an outstanding job. Also, excited/relieved that H is still onboard and will have more time to work on the project next week. Also, very excited to continue to hear about the response to the product. That's very exciting. Excited about my call with GS this morning. He's talking about MAJOR opportunities. I mean like HUGE! So, that's also very exciting. Also, very relieved to hear that it sounds like we resolved the MC problem, at least, for now. Having him be part of the company and in good spirits and working well with K is in everyone's best interest, and is great for the company.

RR. Wow. Sounds like there are a lot of great things that are happening. Good for you! What else is on your mind?

Me. Well, our finances are top of mind. I know I will be getting paid, but not clear on how much or when. I would be feeling a lot better if the funds from the projects were already sitting in my bank account. As it stands, I have to use our dwindling retirement funds to pay for some expenses. Thank God we have some money and that my wife is working. 

RR. Well, the very good news is that you will in very short order have a nice deposit and the future is looking a LOT brighter in terms of future work and the company's prospects, which is fantastic. You're in the best shape you've ever been in terms of the business.

Me. True, but it's been so rough for so long that I have a hard time fully accepting this. It will feel a lot better once I see actual checks. Then I'll feel a lot better.

RR. Fair enough, but don't defer your joy or excitement until then. And, certainly don't get stressed out before then. This is a perfect opportunity to 'act as if' you already have the funds. In fact, make a list of the little things you'll buy, like vitamins you've been wanting to buy or more razors. Bills you'll get off your chest. Little stuff, but it will feel good to do this exercise.

Also, given the stress you're under, it's particularly important that you take care of yourself. Drink lots of water. Do deep breathing. Stay organized. Eat healthy. Try to get in a workout. Hug your wife. Get fresh air. Stretch. Shake it out. Do tapping or rubbing exercise. 

Me. Great ideas. Thanks. This session has been really helpful. Back to work!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. OK. Lots on my mind. Overall things are going well, but I'm still frustrated about a bunch of things.

RR. Let's hear it.

Me. Mostly I'm frustrated about our finances and the fact I haven't gotten paid yet and that I don't know when I'm getting paid. The good news is I'm getting paid. But I'm ****ing pissed that it's taking so ****ing long and that I have all these big expenses coming up. Have to pay for Ks trip, which will include her flight and hotel. Then have the mortgage for the next two months. Then have to pay for the conference. Not to mention health insurance.

RR. Ok. You have a few choices in terms of how you think this through and what you should do. My advice is to continue to watch your expenses. The very good news is that you're going to get paid and you also have other opportunities that are just around the corner. K is doing a good job of generating new leads. 

The other good news is that you were able to send about 800 emails last week for about $30, which you can't beat. 

Me. It's a lot better than when ****ing MC was doing it that piece of ****. He did such a crappy job. Plus all he did was ***** and moan. **** him! 

RR. Feel better?

Me. Yeah. I just need to get some stuff off my chest. Thanks!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Really down today. I'm physically and mentally and emotionally exhausted. I got up early this morning and have been working for the last 6 hours. It's all pretty high concentration stuff, so I'm drained. On top of this, I'm super stressed out about all the expenses that are coming due and how I don't yet have any income to cover them. So frustrating 

RR. Let it out.

Me. It's just so frustrating and I'm so sad. I know, thank God, that I'll be getting some good sized checks some time soon, but, I'm just so sad and ashamed that our funds have gotten as low as they have. I feel like such an irresponsible loser. Like such a ****ty husband. I love my wife so much and feel terrible about the state we're in. 

RR. I understand. 

Me. It's just taken so ****ing long and so much money to get my company off the ground. I'm so frustrated that we've only signed a few customers. We should be a lot further ahead by now. I'm so ashamed to talk to people who have known about my company for so long and have to tell them that we're not that far along. 

RR. Ok. At this juncture, there's obviously nothing you can do about the past. And although the saying is that you should leave the past in the past, the reality is that it can weigh on you. The key is not to dwell on this for too long because then you mess up your ability to take full charge of the present.

Me. True.

RR. Fortunately, there are a lot of VERY GOOD things that are happening, right?

Me. Yes.

RR. Such as?

Me. Well, I'm actually feeling really good about the product. The work I did this morning helped me fully appreciate how useful and valuable our product is. I frankly think it rocks. I just need to train K how to better use it and show it. But, overall, think it is highly useful and the best application of its type in a huge market. And I'm saying this based on the feedback we have been getting. 

RR. That's excellent!

Me. It is exciting. Plus, I think the ideas I'm sharing with K will go a long way to even better showcasing our capabilities. I'm actually very very excited about that. 

RR. What else?

Me. Well, we have kicked off and invoiced these projects. Which is also great news. And they're good sized projects.

RR. Listen, seems to me like your predicament is a short term one. 

Me. Yes, thank God!

RR. Ok, so my advice is to set yourself up to pay all your bills on the 30th and that you move funds as necessary to do this. Pay part of the cable bill, and all of your car insurance and one month worth of health insurance on Tuesday. Pay for K hotel next week. And then wait until you get paid, hopefully, in the next two weeks to pay your other bills. Make sense?

Me. Yeah. No need to panic and ruin my day. Thanks. This was very helpful.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need some advice and a gentle nudge to make the most out of today.

RR. Ok. What would make you feel you had a productive day?

Me. Getting in a workout would be great. Even if it's just 15 to 20 minutes and I do it at home.

RR. What else?

Me. Well, getting the stuff to K and putting it in __ would also feel good.

RR. What else?

Me. I know it sounds trivial but shaving and ordering a DVD would also feel good.

What else?

Me. Taking out the garbage and cleaning the kitchen would also feel good as would planning out tomorrow and next week, including my workout schedule.

RR. Ok, here's my advice. Enjoy the program you're watching, then put on ESPN and some upbeat tunes on Pandora and do a 15 minute light cardio workout on the LC. Take a big swig of water. Wash your face. Shave. Clean the kitchen. Then put the timer to 24 minutes and do your work stuff. Drink apple cider vinegar. Make a healthy dinner. Make a big salad. Then tonight rent a movie on cable, but instead of lying on the sofa do some workout stuff. Do vocabulary. Do some brain workout stuff. 

Me. Sounds good. Will check in later. Thanks for the push.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

OK. Today I'm going to make some different choices to get out of the funk I have been in. I'm going to give myself two choices. 

WORRIER-MODE. I can choose to continue to *****, moan, and fret. I can choose to beat myself up. I can choose to be in a state of fear. I can choose to feel ashamed, anxious and depressed. I can choose to worry endlessly about our finances. I can choose to be sad.

WARRIOR-MODE. I can choose to get in a fighter mode. To be resilient. To be tenacious. To believe in myself. To be delighted about the progress we're making. To be calm about our finances because great money is coming in a matter of weeks and with a little pre-planning I can cover short-term expenses. 

I can choose to feel proud about what I have accomplished in building this company. I can choose to be optimistic. I can choose to be loving, joyful, and positive. I can choose to laugh. I can choose to sing and dance. I can choose to be silly. I can choose to get in great shape. I can choose to be super motivated by adversity and excited about the challenge. 

I can choose to leverage my anger to push me to greater heights. I can choose to be highly confident of my abilities and to acknowledge and reflect on things I have done really well. I can choose to be grateful for all of it. For the adversity. For the challenge. For my health, my wife, our home, the love we share. I can choose to be enthusiastic. I can choose to have off the charts initiative. 

THIS IS WHAT I CHOOSE! :clap


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

It's the little things in life that bring joy. Seeing my wife delight in a simple "gourmet" burger and a glass of wine brings me phenomenal joy.

I'm at an outdoor mall right now sitting outside enjoying the sound and view of a beautiful fountain as the sun warms my face. This brings me joy.

Go to mass today and saying and hearing "peace be with you" brings me joy.

Seeing the beauty of a tree with beautiful red flowers when I was putting gas in my car gave me joy.

Putting $20 worth of gas in my car gave me joy.

Laughing at myself being silly gave me joy.

Holding my wife's hand and kissing her on the forehead as we walk through the mall gave me joy.

Doing well in my Fantasy League game today and getting caught up in a game on TV at the hamburger game we went to gave me joy.

Reading the second chapter of the Book of Matthew gave me joy.

Listening and singling along to songs by Maroon 5, George Harrison, and Marvin Gaye on YouTube gave me joy.

Having my wife show me a silly photo her mom sent her via Whatsup gave me joy.

Knowing that my son is well gave me joy.

Finding out that our favorite soccer team won and that my favorite player scored a pair of goals gave me joy.

Drinking more water today than I usually do made me feel good about myself gave me joy.

Being outside today after being in the house all day yesterday and the day before brings me joy.

Having a wife who is so easily pleased by the little things makes me thankful which brings me joy.

Looking at a beautiful view and taking a picture of it brings me joy.

Being able to write in my "journal" about all the things that bring me joy brings me joy.

Back later.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Making and eating my healthy almond milkshake brings me joy

Having had the discipline to have done some work tonight brings me joy

Seeing my wife watch a movie about her hometown and delight in this brings me joy

Seeing the stuffed animals that represent my wife and I brings me joy

Having the discipline to achieve my hydration goal brings me joy

Having a huge healthy salad for dinner brings me joy

Watching Masterpiece Theater instead of network TV brings me joy

Having the kitchen clean brings me joy

Having the initiative to take out the trash brings me joy

Having the maturity of not getting caught up in not winning my Fantasy League brings me joy

Will check in later


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## Renovation

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Watching Masterpiece Theater brings me joy

Doing the memorization exercise brings me joy

Memorizing seven words brings me joy

Kissing my wife brings me joy

Watching a TV and not feeling stressed out brings me joy

Learning tips to boost my brain opener brings me joy

Creating my game plan for tomorrow brings me joy

Getting excited about doing the brain power boosting program brings me joy

Thinking about the workout I did today brings me joy

Thinking about pushing myself harder in the gym to kick SP's asks brings me joy

Thinking about BLCC riding the cruiser bike on the bike path when we were in ___ brings me incredible joy

Watching the silly dog and laughing videos on YouTube brings me joy

Not dwelling on email brings me joy

Will check in later


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Reading inspirational quotes brings me joy

Reading positive thinking notes brings me joy 

Writing down inspirational quotes brings me joy

Doing beginning French exercises brings me joy

Doing the vocabulary exercises brings me joy

Check in later


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Washing my face gives me great joy

Washing my teeth brings me great joy

Prepping my gym bag so that I'm ready to go workout first thing in the morning brings me joy

Having the discipline to do the deep breathing exercise and doing the exercise itself brings me great joy

Having the discipline to not mindlessly watch network tv brings me great joy

Doing the shake it off exercise brings me great joy

Partaking in more intellectual "conversation" gives me great joy

Beginning to develop huge curiosity and an appetitive to learn brings me tremendous joy

That's it for now. Will check back in tomorrow.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Getting up early and laughing because of Dagoberto brings me great joy

Washing my face, shaving, and washing my face the second I got out of bed brings me great joy

Getting to the gym super early brings me great joy

Doing a 20 minutes cardio and 10 minutes strength workout brings me great joy

Listening to good tunes on the way to the gym and laughing at Dagoberto gives me great joy

Dagoberto helping me put things in perspective brings me great joy

Taking a warm shower at the gym brings me great joy

Seeing my buddy G brings me great joy

Beginning to have the maturity to not let something piss me off to the degree or duration that it used to brings me joy

Already drinking my first bottle of water and recording this on my phone brings me great joy

Making progress on my weight/fat loss brings me great joy

Will check in later :boogie


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## Swagonite

good job bro!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Dagoberto cracking me up brings me great joy

Seeing K's message that the HP call went well brings me great joy

Drinking a tall Americano brings me great joy

Getting all my communications out this morning brings me great joy

Hearing K be in good spirits brings me great joy

Reading chapter 3 of the Book of Matthew brings me great joy

Making great progress on the formatting brings me great joy.

Finishing two bottles of water already brings me great joy

Getting out of the house and going to the corner cafe to get a cup of coffee brings me great joy

Seeing the beautiful garden outside my gym brings me great joy

Complimenting the gardner on the beautiful garden and his being grateful for the compliment brings me great joy

Listening to the violin channel on Pandora brings me great joy

Check in later :idea


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## Renovation

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Making the call to K at E and reopening the opportunity because of my initiative brings me great joy.

Having sent out and quickly responded to emails brings me great joy

Keeping a level head today on a day that has typically been very stressful for me brings me great joy

Dagoberto giving me a bad time but making me laugh brings me great joy

Getting an email from my wife signed 'Kiss' brings me great joy

My responding with my pet name for her brings me great joy

Check in later :no


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## Renovation

CHECK IN 

Thinking about K letting me know the meeting went well brings me joy

Being in the zone and getting so much done with this part of the project brings me joy

Not letting have to start the draft all over again because I copied the wrong file brings me joy

Having the resilience to just keeping after it and making great strides as a result brings me great joy

Listening to violin music brings me joy

Eating a big healthy salad for lunch brings me joy

How the early draft is looking brings me joy

Drinking lots of water brings me joy

Spraying my face with water brings me joy

Keeping the kitchen clean brings me joy

Will check in later :teeth


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## Renovation

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Being so focused and productive today brings me great joy

Making such good use of my time today brings me great joy

Having projects to work on brings me tremendous joy

Dagoberto brings me tremendous joy - don't tell him

Taking a nap brings me joy

Doing deep breathing exercise brings me joy

Doing quality work brings me joy

Thinking of my wife riding on a cruiser bike when we were on vacation brings me tremendous joy

Having our home clean brings me great joy

Shaking it off brings me joy

Doing the posture exercise with Dagoberto brings me joy

Will check in later :teeth


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Figuring out a path to deal with my near term financial challenge gives me joy

Having a great attitude brings me joy

Making progress with our product gives me joy

Kissing my wife while she's falling asleep brings me great joy

Eating mozzarella cheese sticks give me joy

Being able to walk downstairs and half a block late night to buy a snack brings me joy

Prepping my gym bag brings me joy

Logging my daily accomplishments brings me joy

Having the discipline to work hard when I have to brings me joy

Watching Madam Secretary brings me joy

Watching PBS documentaries brings me joy

Watching Charlie Rose brings me joy

Spraying my face brings me joy

Having the discipline to go to bed now brings me joy

Check in tomorrow :|


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## Renovation

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COMMITMENT: I WILL NOT EAT BREAD OR FRUIT FOR 10 DAYS

Going to the gym and working out brings me joy

Seeing my friend Richard brings me joy

Walking through the beautiful garden next to the gym gives me joy

Working out two days in a row brings me joy

Kissing my wife brings me joy

Paying my overdue health insurance and cable bills brings me relief which brings me joy

Seeing a light at the end of the tunnel brings me joy

Getting coffee at my corner cafe brings me joy

Will check in later


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## Renovation

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Me. Feeling a little frustrated

RR. Why?

Me. The fact I haven't gotten paid yet and that I'm not sure when the checks are coming is grating on me. The good news is I'm getting paid and the amount is a good amount over the next couple of months. The projects have been invoiced or a PO has been submitted so that's a relief. 

RR. Well, you can do one of two things or both. You can make an assumption regarding when you'll be paid and plan your expenses and how you'll handle your money transfers accordingly. Or you can ask when you should expect to get paid. 

Me. I think I'll do the first for now. I already asked and was told the client has been invoiced. I'll ask the other client on Monday when I show her what I've built. The good news is that the funds are coming. It will be a very happy day when I get the checks. Ok. Thanks. This helped.


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## Renovation

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Seeing my sweetie brings me joy

Having done great work on my project yesterday brings me joy

The opportunity to develop great content for my project brings me joy

The fact I'm going to call the bank today brings me relief, which brings me joy

Knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel brings me joy

Taking initiative brings me joy

Eating a very healthy vegetarian dinner brings me joy

Going to bed at a reasonable hour and getting a good night sleep brings me joy

Being tenacious, resilient, and mentally tough brings me joy

Walking with a good posture brings me joy

Having confidence in my competency brings me joy

Having a strong work ethic and being productive brings me joy

Check in later :yes


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## Renovation

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Speaking with my dear friend MG brings me joy

The progress we're making with PMb brings me joy

Working with Eric brings me joy

The fact MG got home safe and sound so I wouldn't have to present by myself is a big relief, which brings me joy

The fact that by the end of today I'm going to make tremendous progress cleaning up PM brings me joy

The fact we have great opportunities with W and SF brings me joy

Getting organized brings me joy

Getting my morning cup of coffee at the corner cafe brings me joy

The beautiful weather today brings me joy

Getting out of the house brings me joy

The phenomenal work that G has done brings great joy and a tremendous sense of gratitude

Thinking about my beautiful wife and how hard working and responsible she is and what a great attitude she has brings me great joy and strength 

Back later :mum


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## Renovation

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Me. Ok. I have a fair amount of stuff on my mind that I need to sort through.

RR. Let's hear it

Me. First, I have so much stuff on my plate that I'm feeling overwhelmed

RR. Explain

Me. I have to make a lot of progress on the FS project. I have to organize the trip for K. I have to work on the product - create content for G. I need to create the scripts for K. I need to submit two cases. I need to do prospecting. That's a lot of stuff to get done in a short amount of time.

RR. Here's my advice. Chunk it out. What's the single most important thing you need to get done this week?

Me. Make great progress on the FS project.

RR. Ok. I suggest you block off time this evening and most of tomorrow to work on this. You really won't have much time on Friday, but you will have time on Saturday and Sunday. If you can put in 2-3 hours tonight and 4-5 hours tomorrow, and 2-3 hours each day on Saturday and Sunday, you should be in really good shape.

Me. Makes sense.

RR. Then carve out 30 minutes here and there to work through the other items. Please make sure to continue to workout first thing in the morning. That has to be a priority. 

Me. Great. Thanks.

RR. What else is on your mind?

Me. Well, there are all these expenses that I need to undertake just for this trade show. There's Ks airfare and hotel for two nights. There's the cost of the conference pass. In terms of a marketing expense, it's not that expensive. But in terms of a personal expense, it's very expensive. 

RR. What else?

Me. In addition to this I need to make the overdue mortgage payment by next week, which means I have to take money of our dwindling retirement account, until I get paid. That's frustrating! If I had gotten paid by now this would not be an issue.

RR. Sounds like you getting paid is imminent. Getting paid by next week seems reasonable. Given this, I would take care of Ks travel expenses this week and then pay your mortgage next week when you get paid. Think about it. In about a weeks time, these financial issues will be a thing of the past and you'll be on your way to recovery.

Me. That's a very good perspective. Thanks for helping me think though this and see this issue and its resolution in a different light.

RR. Anything else?

Me. Yes. I'm really frustrated that HP is taking so long to respond. He's putting the project t at risk. The fact he hasn't made any progress on the product in weeks is really frustrating. 

RR. Send him another note tonight. He's been responsive in the past and continues to show commitment. The product is looking very good. So keep the faith.

Me. Ok. Very helpful to get this stuff off my chest. Thanks!


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## Renovation

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My sweetie came home early because wasn't feeling well. Seeing her gives me great joy.

Hugging her gives me great joy.

Kissing her and telling her I love her gives me great joy

Eating my super healthy blueberry chocolate almond almond milk smoothie dessert brings me great joy

Having gotten the first part of the G project out of the way brings me great joy

My conversation with K brings me joy 

Check in later :mum


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## Renovation

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Going to the gym and working out brings me joy

Having the discipline to get up around 6am to go to the gym brings me joy

Speaking with my friend Eddie at the gym brings me joy

Seeing my dear friend Richard walking out of the gym brings me joy

Shaving brings me joy

Taking a nice warm shower at the gym brings me joy

Doing my strength exercises brings me joy

Seeing people walk their dogs in the morning brings me joy

Seeing the Latin woman leaving her home with her two little children who she deeply loves brings me joy

The work I did last night on the FS project brings me joy

Hugging my wife and telling her "I love you, my love" and hearing her say the same thing back to me fills my heart with incredible joy

Walking to the corner cafe and passing by the beautiful chapel and doing the sign of the cross brings me joy and comfort

Seeing Dolores at the cafe and saying "hi" and having a short conversation brings me joy

Responding to my wife's request to buy her a nutritional powder that helps her feel by saying "Of course, my love. If it makes you happy and helps you feel better" even though it's "expensive" brings me joy

Seeing my wife go to work even though she's not feeling great makes me proud of her and gives me strength and joy

Check in later :yes


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## Renovation

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TEN REASONS TO FEEL SUPER OPTIMISTIC

1. I'm about to make a very nice consulting fee from FS. This is great news because it will immediately solve my money worries

2. I'm about to make a very nice consulting fee from K. This is great news because it will immediately hold me over for the next few months and buy me time to get additional projects. This is actually huge because this is all I need

3. FS wants PM! This is so exciting!

4. BB is about to launch! This will be a great opportunity to test out the product. Very exciting and a phenomenal opportunity to show any naysayers about how well the app works. 

5. K uncovered a real opp. And it's winnable.

6. Very happy with how PM is looking after I went through and updated the scoreboard. Will keep doing this.

7. Very excited about working with E. Super well connected and can immediately walk us into a number of real and large opportunities.

8. Very excited about the opportunity with G - it sounds like a very big deal

9. Very excited about opp with W - it's a real deal.

10. Very excited about PM - it's looking great!


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## Renovation

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RR. So what I'm seeing is that things are not as terrible as you paint them to be. I mean it's not great and it certainly is not where you expected to be by now. But, FORTUNATELY, things are getting better! You just listed 10 very good reasons why you should very optimistic and excited. Very real. Just do what you have to do and keep working hard and with a great attitude. Be strong. Be resident. Don't put up with any bs. Keep pushing. Have faith. Stay organized. Stay focused. Persevere. Be tough. Keep fighting. Be fearless. Don't take ****. Be enthusiastic. Phenomenal things are just around the corner. Tomorrow. You're going to do great work. You're going to do work that's intellectually and emotionally very satisfying. Get after it!


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## Renovation

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RR. In terms of HP, here's my advice. First don't check your email every ten minutes to see if he answered. Second, you've felt this way in the past and EVERY SINGLE TIME he has come through and demonstrated that he's committed. EVERY SINGLE TIME. EVERY SINGLE TIME. In fact, just this week he responded to your email about helping out G. So, you have reason to feel relieved that he'll come through again. Imagine the best because this is what's transpired in the past.

UPDATE
He came through! Had a great conversation and he's fully committed. Also, was a HUGE relief to hear how confident he was about the product and the fact that there are only a few issues to address and that in his words they're small is also a huge relief and inspiring. Plus the fact he's collaborating with G is also exciting.

So the net of it, is that you were right not to worry. HP came through yet again!


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## Renovation

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Me. There are actually some VERY good things happening that I need to feel really good about. 

First of all, I'm so happy to have spoken with HP. Such a relief and exciting to hear him say that he felt good about the product and that he wasn't worried about how the product will perform with larger companies. Also, fantastic to hear that he's going to get G what he needs. This is very exciting. 

It will feel so great when we have all our new versions available. That's going to be awesome!:clap


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## Renovation

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Me. Feeling kind of blah. 

RR. Why?

Me. All I've been doing is watch tv all day.

RR. Well. You also worked for about six hours. So I wouldn't exactly call you lazy if that's what you're inferring.

Me. I was pretty spent after working and got caught up watching the game. 

RR. Plus you enjoyed doing the work.

Me. I do find it interesting. Although, I wish to have had the time and money to do something else, but, I'm not going to complain. I'm grateful to have the work. I'm making good progress and I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

RR. Great.

Me. It frankly was a very huge relief to hear HP tell me that he was feeling confident about the product. It made me feel great. It made me feel that the product will work. It made me feel that because we're part of S that we can have great and stable product. Which is very exciting. 

RR. That's got to feel good. 

Me. Yeah. Also, I'm going to worry less about our finances. We have money to go to brunch tomorrow and, most importantly, I should be getting paid soon.

RR. Give yourself a mini vacation from worrying.

Me. That's a great idea. Frankly, I hate worrying. It's a crappy use of my time

RR. Ok. Do your evening ritual and get a good nights sleep.

Me. Thanks. This was helpful.


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## Renovation

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Bringing my wife some goodies from the cafe and her being grateful brings me joy

Dagoberto brings me joy

The beautiful weather brings me joy

Walking by the beautiful church and giving myself the sign of the cross brings me joy

Making very good progress on the FSPB brings me joy

My team winning brings me joy

Eating healthy brings me joy

Having my Sunday coffee and croissant brings me joy

Watching the interesting movie I watched last night brings me joy

Cleaning the kitchen brings me joy

Seeing our home clean brings me joy

Playing "this goes here" brings me joy

Watching Bill Murray in Meatballs cracks me up and brings me joy

Seeing my wife relax brings me joy

Waking up and hugging and kissing my wife and knowing she feels loved brings me incredible joy

Check in later :b


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## Renovation

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Going to mass at my beautiful church brings me great joy

Receiving Holy Communion and seeing it others receive it brings me joy

Wishing each other peace during service brings me joy

Meeting a new friend at church brings me joy

Seeing my friend J at church brings me joy

Having a Bloody Mary with my wife as we waited to be seated for brunch enjoying our drink in the sun brings me joy

Finding a new brunch spot with delicious food and a reasonable price brings me joy

Going to the beach with my wife and enjoying the sunny weather brings me joy

Seeing how happy doing all this made my wife brings me tremendous joy

Having a cup of coffee at the corner cafe while I'm journaling in SAS brings me joy

Watching the documentary about the Little League team from Curaçao brings me joy

High fiving bad tickling my wife when she raises her hand to high five me brings me great joy

Chatting with my wife during brunch about various current events brings me joy

Hearing her say she had a great time today and tell me she loves me brings me PHENOMENAL joy :boogie


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## Renovation

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Me. Want to clear my mind and work through a few issues that are troubling me. 

RR. Let's hear it.

Me. I feel anxious because I have so much work to do. Because when I'm tired I feel stupid like I can't put a coherent thought or sentence or set of questions together. I feel anxious about K and MC. I feel like they're out of control. I feel anxious about having to pay for Ks travel. I feel anxious because I didn't workout the last couple of days. I feel angry because I have to depend on MG to get paid and I don't like feeling like I'm an underling.

RR. Glad to hear you get all of this off your chest. Sometimes you just need to get it out. The key is to not let it fester. And even though these are recurring themes, the reality is that optimizing your mental health requires constant work. Everyone has daily challenges, big and small. You just need to apply a few coping strategies to effectively deal with stress. Journaling is one of these, so keep at it.

Me. Thanks.

RR. Let's tackle some of these issues, so you can work toward having a productive and enjoyable evening.

Me. Sounds good.

RR. In terms of feeling overwhelmed, here's two things you can do. First of all take the pressure off of yourself because you don't have a hard deadline tomorrow. You simply need to show what progress you're making. So, my advice is to dedicate an hour tonight to working on the project. That should get you pretty far. Then plan your week and allocate time, especially Monday and Tuesday to FS. If you do this, you'll make tremendous progress.

Me. Sounds good.

RR. Get the K travel out of the way tonight. Just do it. It's like ripping off a bandaid. It might hurt for a second, but you'll be glad when you're done with it. And it's certainly better than carrying around the toxic energy brought on by having this linger.

Me. Good advice.

RR. Regarding feeling stupid, first of all, be kind and compassionate to yourself. Get some rest if necessary and try to set aside some time to continue reading the book about boosting your brain power.

Me. Ok.

RR. Regarding K and MC, speak with K about MC and coach her on how to work with him. Do so with kindness not anger. Be direct but kind.

Me. Ok

RR. I'd follow TA's advice and not show vulnerability. Given your dynamic, I think this is excellent advice. Plus, it's not going to do you any good to show anger or frustration. You'll feel better if you move forward with a strong veneer. 

Me. Excellent advice! Thanks so much. Very helpful.


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## Renovation

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Me. MC went off the deep end. He sent K a very nasty and incoherent email full of anger and venom. He's such an angry guy. So much anger. So volatile. A not very articulate. A very poor writer. In the long run, this is best for everybody. The problem is I owe him money. And I don't have the funds to pay him.

RR. I would write him and set up a time to speak.

Me. Ok


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## Renovation

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Me. Man, I'm really tired/sleepy right now. It's so hard to do the type of work I'm doing and not get tired because it requires such a strong attention to detail over extended periods of time. My brain is fried. I want to sleep like for 48 hours. 

So much on my mind besides the project. Today started on a crappy note because one of our guys made a mistake and I ended getting 200 emails sent to me. It pissed me off. Such a ****ing stupid mistake. At least, customers were not affected, but still it pissed me off. Then I get an email from K about an email from ****ing M. More *****ing and moaning. Ranting and raving. Completely incoherent. Good riddance. He's such a ****ing pain in the ***. I'll figure out how to get him paid. 

If you read my previous posts over the last several months, you'll see that the writing was on the virtual wall, so to speak. I hate to say this but **** him! This gives me even more impetus to have phenomenal success and work my *** off to do so.

RR. You sent him an email offering to speak. The only reason you would want to engage with him is because of the money. Because you know in your heart of hearts that it wasn't going to work out and that you really did not want him involved in the business long run. He's not the caliber of person professionally or personally in the business. It doesn't take away that you have some respect for his skills but overall it's best for you and him to part ways. Leave it at that. Figure out how to pay him and then get on with it.

Me. Ok. Thanks for letting me vent. :mum


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## Renovation

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Me. Feeling very anxious, frustrated, and overwhelmed

RR. What's up?

Me. A bunch of stuff

RR. Let's hear it

Me. For one, I'm stressed out about the FS project. There is so much to do and it's such detailed work. When I'm this stressed out it is difficult to concentrate for extended periods of time. Plus I feel really pinched for time. Like I need to get a bunch of stuff done in a short amount of time. Also, because I'm stressed my confidence is not what it could be.

RR. Well, first off, seems to me like you're making great progress. The fact that you have already virtually completed the SP section is pretty significant. You just need to do the bottom portion of each slide and you're done. And who says you need to have it all done by 3pm? You can spend 24 minutes on it after your E meeting just to get started and get a feel for how to complete each section. Then spend an hour tonight and you should be good to go. Take the pressure off yourself. Instead, feel HAPPY about the progress you're making. Feel HAPPY. about the expertise you're demonstrating. Feel HAPPY about the quality of your work and confident of how good it is relative to others. Don't you think that the quality of the work/product is as good or BETTER than what you have seen others produce?

Me. Yes, definitely.

RR. Ok, so take a deep breath and feel GREAT about the progress you're making and about what an OUTSTANDING final product you'll deliver. Get fired up! What else?

Me. Well the whole MC thing has me in a bit of a tizzy. He responded to my email today.

RR. Anything good in there?

Me. Well, as a matter of fact, he was complimentary about the effort I'm putting forth and understanding about the fact that I have been busy.

RR. The way I see this you have a couple of choices in terms of how you can approach your conversation with him. You can have a nervous and fearful mindset or you can have a kind and confident mindset. 

Me. Please expand

RR. You can enter the conversation fearful that he's going to be combative and demand his money back, and anxious about your business. OR you can enter the conversation in the spirit of wanting to maintain a friendship and of gratitude for his contribution. To be mostly in a listening mode. To be kind. To look at him as a complete person. A father. A husband. Essentially, a good and kind man. That perspective will help you set a great tone for the meeting. Regarding the money issue, MC is a reasonable person. Rather than making the assumption he won't work with you. Make the assumption that he will. Because he has shown that willingness in the past. To help you get in a confident state about the business write down a list of the 5 or so reasons why you're feeling so optimistic.

Me. That helps a lot. Thanks!

RR. Anything else?

Me. That's it for now. There are a couple of other things that can wait until later. Thanks again.


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## Renovation

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Me. Have some stuff On my mind I need to get out of my system.

RR. Let's hear it

Me. First of all, who the **** does L thinks she is forcing me to work around her schedule? Also, what the **** is up with her working with one of our key competitors and calling this out to R. That pisses me off!

RR. I could understand that. The question to ask as Dr. P taught you in these situations is, how angry do you want to get and for how long? 

Me. Well, getting too angry isn't going to help and staying VERY angry for too long won't help either. Regarding the schedule, I'll let Renee know I can do a phone call next Friday, which buys me time plus meets the goal of speaking next week. In term of her working with a competitor, that's her prerogative. I'm working with her competitors. If she knew about the deal with R and didn't tell me, then that's messes up, but, even then I'm working with other consultants and wouldn't put her on my bench. This is the equivalent of my saying that I'm working with a company with 600 salespeople and am going to bring in E.

RR. That's a good way to think about it. What else?

Me. Well, I still have the issue with MC. He kept me waiting and didn't respond to my email. So, obviously wants to be left alone. My next step is to let him know that I will be paying him half by the end of this month and the other half by the end of next month. That's all I can do.

RR. That really is all you can do. It does you no good to fret about how he might or might not react. If he wants to sue you, let him. Let him know you'll be paying him and continue to be kind. That's really all yuk can do.

Me. I wish I had more money so I could pay him off completely and get this out of my system so I can move forward and be done with this relationship. 

RR. That will come soon enough. BTW, anything great going on?

Me. As a matter of fact, yes.

RR. Let's hear it

Me. Well, for one had a GREAT call with SF today. I mean outstanding. This is so exciting because it shows the viability of the market and the company. Very exciting!

RR. That's awesome!

Me. Yes, thanks. Also, getting a paycheck, hopefully, today. It's not huge, but, grateful for it and it will feel very good when I deposit in my business bank account.

RR. Good for you.

Me. Thanks. And thanks for helping me get this stuff out of my system and sort through it. Will check in later.


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## Renovation

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Me. Need a pep talk.

RR. Why?

Me. I'm feeling tired and sleepy, but want to push myself to finish the next phase of the product. I want to procrastinate, because I'm so tired.

RR. Here's my advice. Work for 45 minutes. You can get a lot done and you'll be 45 minutes ahead the next time you work on the project. Plus you might even finish the first section. Go for it! You can do 45 minutes.

Me. Will do. Thanks!


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## Renovation

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Me. So I'm not doing a very good job of prepping myself for sleep. I'm going to bed late - around midnight - because I watch the Charlie Rose show or Sports Center or David Letterman. The other problem is that lately I have been snacking late - popcorn, chocolate, comfort food. Will be back later.


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## Renovation

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Me. Kind of a lazy day today. I got a little bit of work done this morning, but feel like I could have been more productive. Feeling pressure to get a lot of work done before the end of the month.

RR. Here we are mid October so you have all of the following week to work on the next phase. I would look at the project plan and try to figure out a way to get ahead of the curve. I think this is doable. I would print out the entire document, get it bound, and then use this week to jot your ideas on it, so come next weekend all you have to do is update the document on your computer. 

Me. That's actually a really good idea. Let me go see if I can do this in 12 minutes.


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## Renovation

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Me. Ok. I did it. The document will be ready tomorrow at 2pm. I'm looking forward to seeing it printed bad to going to a cafe and working on it. Thanks for the great idea. I'm feeling less stressed about this now.

RR. Great. What else are you procrastinating? 

Me. Responding via email to a quite a few folks.

RR. Suggest you do the 12 minute drill and write the emails now and schedule them to go out tomorrow afternoon.

Me. Another good idea. You're a great coach!

RR. I do my best


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## Renovation

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Me. Had a good day today. My wife and I went to a nice brunch and then saw a good movie.

RR. Good. What's up?

Me. Well, I sent the note to MC. It wasn't as bad as I had made it out to be. I went through an exercise that helped me understand that I can choose what I want to imagine. I put myself in a fearful and anxious state by imagining an angry MC. I came to the realization that I didn't need to imagine this and that I could choose to imagine a different scenario. Long story short, I did this and it worked. Frankly, relieved that I took this step.

RR. Good. Glad to hear this. You've done everything you can do. Time to move on. Hey, let me ask you, are there any reasons why you should be feeling great?

Me. Well, as a matter of fact, yes. The great news is that I got paid. It wasn't a large sum, but it was big enough. Enough to where I could take my wife to brunch today. Moreover, I'm getting a big check from FS this week. And maybe another from KC, so that it is a great thing.

RR. Excellent. What else?

Me. Well. Business does seem to be picking up. There are some very real opportunities that are absolutely closable, which is very exciting.

RR. Very good. Glad to hear this.

Me. Thanks. Will check in later.


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## Renovation

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Me. Lots on my mind.

RR. What's up?

Me. I feel like I have so much to do and I need to vent.

RR. Go for it

Me. Ok. ****er ****ing MC ***ing pisses me off. Who the **** does he think he is. I'm tired of kowtowing to him. He was and is a ****up. He says that a more dignified response would have been to ask how I can make it better. I don't want to make it better. Who the hell does he think he is? He thinks he's a savvy businessman. The reality is that he knows squat. Who the hell does he think he is talking to K the way he did? Ok. I just needed to vent. I have zero respect for this guy as a businessman. Not to mention his anger management issue. If he's so f-ing talented why didn't he close any business? Time to move on.

RR. Time to move on is right. Look at it this way. Now that you have taken action and emailed him any response is a positive one. No response is a good outcome. A positive response is a good outcome. Even a negative response is a good one because you've agreed to pay. So, it's time to move on. You have so many other good things to take care of. Get tough. Don't take crap. Time to persevere. Go for it. Roll up your sleeves and get after it.

Me. Thanks! I will.


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## Renovation

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Me. Woke up feeling really tense this morning.

RR. Let's hear it.

Me. Well, for one, I didn't sleep great last night. And I woke up early around 6:00 and immediately started working. Think I'm feeling stressed because it's like I feel I need to work non stop. I'll check in later. Need to go work.


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## Renovation

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Me. Ok. Decided not to go to the conference today. Great decision, because I bought myself a whole day. I was able to complete a couple of deliverables, that would have taken me most of Friday to complete. So, they're now out of the way, plus I did an outstanding job on both of them if I do say so myself. FS is seeing the difference I'm making, which is great. I don't want to rub it in that my deliverables are better. Need to take the high road and just let the quality of my work speak for itself.

RR. That's great. Sounds like a big relief.

Me. Definitely. 

RR. What else?

Me. Well. I can't help but continue to be pissed at MC. He's such a hypocrite. And I'm pissed for his taking a holier than thou attitude with me and K.

RR. You sent him an email and he didn't respond, right?

Me. That's right

RR. Well, then, I would say "mission accomplished".

Me. What do you mean?

RR. Well, think about it. What was the best case scenario you were looking for?

Me. To get him completely out of the business. 

RR. Exactly. You or K don't have to deal with his BS anymore. And the business is doing better and will do better with him out of the way. K is doing a marvelous job now that you're directly supervising her. Meetings are going much better WITHOUT him! So not only do you no longer need to deal with all of the drama he inflicted, but this very toxic relationship is over. Isn't that fantastic!

Me. Definitely. It is a huge relief. I'm so glad he didn't write me back. Huge relief!

RR. That's the spirit. Let's shift focus and do me a favor and write down a list of ten things you're very excited about and grateful for. These are just business related since that's been the main source of your frustration.

Me. Ok. Here goes.

1. The FS project is going extremely well - the client is delighted so far!
2. I got a paycheck last week - yay!!
3. I might get another paycheck this week - that will feel great!
4. The KC projects are also going very well - client also very happy
5. R at FS is making an intro to a good friend - another prospect
6. Found out that the DL project is alive and well - meeting with prospect tomorrow - this is awesome because it's a nice size project
7. K is doing a great job and it looks like she'll be able to close some business in next 30 days
8. Having MC out of the business is something to be delighted about
9. Looks like MG might have another opportunity
10. GS has a couple of very large opps
11. EC has at least one very good near term opportunity
12. The new product is looking great - still have some testing to do, but looking great
13. The call with WK went very well
14. The call with SF went extremely well
15. Can't forget about my friends at TFP - looks like they might also have an opportunity

RR. Wow. I asked for ten reasons to feel great about your business and you gave me fifteen. That's outstanding. Here's my advice. Take care of yourself today. Continue to do your work, but make today a turning point. Things are really looking up. You have a lot to be thankful for. 

Me. I sure do. Being able to get my feelings and issues out in the open has been hugely beneficial. Thanks!

RR. You got it. :clap


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## Renovation

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Me. I feel like it's time to start thinking about leading an extraordinary life. In other words, to start enjoying life and working toward realizing my full potential in all areas of my life. I've had had a rough go for quite some time and I'm not out of the woods yet, but I'm feeling like it's time to move to making the most out of my life.

RR. I think it's great that you're even considering this. Why now?

Me. Well, for one, I'm done with the toxic relationship with MC. That was really draining. I'm starting to surround myself with very positive people, which makes a big difference. 

RR. That's a great reason. What else?

Me. We'll. I'm also feeling like I'm starting to get these projects under control. I've made very good progress with the FS project. I actually got a lot done today and I think I can finish the entire process pb by the end of next week.

RR. Outstanding!

Me. I'll work on the SM document this week as well. I'll look at the DG document for ideas and start jotting them down in Evernote starting now.

RR. Love it!


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## Renovation

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Me. Found out my badge won't get me into the conference today. At first, I got all nervous about this because I had scheduled a meeting with a prospect. I worried that I would have to arrange a meeting offsite, so he would know that I didn't have the full conference pass and that this would raise a red flag about my company that we didn't even have the funds to afford the ticket. As I write this, I can see how silly this is, but, I simply arranged to meet with him tomorrow, so problem solved.

RR. Good glad you worked through this.

Me. And I arranged a meeting with a client and a prospect off site, so that worked out great.

RR. Excellent. What else is on your mind?

Me. Well I have to admit that I continue to feel anxious. I'm anxious about the product. I'm anxious about money. I'm anxious about the situation with MC. I'm anxious about all the stuff I have on my plate. I'm anxious about MG. I'm anxious about K. 

RR. Ok. Let's talk through this. First of all, I think it's super important that you start taking incredible care of yourself. 

1. I want you to drink more water. You just need to push yourself to do this. Drink a minimum of two bottles of water per day and shoot for your hydration goal. 

2. Get back to eating greens/veggies at every meal. You have done this before and you can do it again. It just takes the magic word "initiative".

3. You HAVE to stop eating so much in the evening, especially after 9. Not good to go to bed full. This is detrimental to a good night sleep. Chew gum instead. Drink tea or veggie juice. 

4. Do two two-minute deep breathing exercises per day. You have by now read about all the benefits associated with meditation. You have to make this a priority. Do some stretching and/or tapping with this.

5. I also want you to workout EVERYDAY even if for only 5 minutes on the stationery bike at a super low level.

6. Continue to pray every day.

7. Invoke humor whenever you catch yourself starting to feel anxious. You know how good it feels to laugh. Sing. Dance. Be silly. 

8. Attitudinally, act as if. Act as if things are going great. There are a lot of very good things that are happening. Act as if you're the __ of a fast growing company. Walk like you're the former All American center fielder at ___.

9. Be grateful and enthusiastic

10. Watch motivational videos on YouTube. Read motivational books.

You can, need to, and will do all of these things. They cost nothing. You will always have stressors in your life. Everyone does. You just need to be more proactive. These are great coping strategies. Use your anger to do these things. Having the discipline to do all of these will allow you to compete with anyone and walk with strength. So let's go for it!

Me. You got it. This is great. Makes total sense. I'm totally motivated to make this happen. Thank you so much! :clap


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## Renovation

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Me. Need to vent. I'm super frustrated and pissed and need to get this anger out of my system.

RR. Go for it.

Me. I'm ***ing pissed at ****ing MG for not responding to my email about payment. That's way ****ed up! I've put in all this effort and paid for my own travel expense and haven't gotten reimbursed, so I'm at this point losing money on this deal. That's way way ****ed up. He should have at least responded to my email. More importantly, he should be chasing our getting paid. That's BS.

RR. What else?

Me. I'm pissed that I still haven't gotten paid by FS. That's messed up that the woman in A/P left and that my email didn't get answered and that the woman who replaced her was asking if I had provided the information I had already provided. That's messed up! I'm totally pissed about this. If I didn't bring it up today, it would have fallen through the cracks.

RR. What else?

Me. I'm pissed that the taxi driver took so ****ing long to charge me. It was a ***ing nightmare.

RR. What else?

Me. I'm pissed that it's taking so ****ing long to get our m product working. It should have been done by now.

RR. What else?

Me. I'm pissed that we have our film club meeting tonight. I want to watch the game and be left alone, not listen to a bunch of high brows talk about some ****ing BS movie.

RR. That's kind of funny. 

Me. I think that about covers it.

RR. Anything to give thanks for?

Me. Well, yes. Got the good news about another project and will likely get paid by FS next week, which will take a lot of pressure off.

RR. Anything else!

Me. Well. Yes. Felt good about learning how to differentiate our app versus SP. I came up with a great way to position us. 

RR. Anything else?

Me. Well. Yes. K did an excellent job of cold calling today and creating some new opps. And she did an excellent job of setting up a few meetings and moving them forward.

RR. Very good. Let's end on a positive note, shall we?

Me. Sounds good

RR. Feel better?

Me. Yep. Thanks! :yes


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## Renovation

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Me. Let's take a different tact today. I'll start with stuff I should be thankful for. 

RR. Like it. Let's hear it.

Me. Ok. I'll list five things.

Grateful for:

1. The FS project
2. The K project
3. The LR opportunity
4. The DL opportunity
5. The potential deals with MG
6. The potential deals with EC
7. The potential deals with TFP
8. The potential deals with GS
9. The W opportunity
10. The SF opportunity

RR. Very good. This is all very encouraging. My advice for you is to just get after the projects you're working on AND also work on trying to generate new business. Take a vacation from worrying this weekend. Prime to start taking better care of yourself. Deal?

Me. Deal! Thank you! :b


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## Renovation

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Me. Need to vent. Got a lot done. Made good progress with the project. But frustrated nonetheless.

RR. Why?

Me. It feels like this project is never ending. I'm glad to have it, but it's so much work. The fact I haven't gotten paid yet doesn't help. 

RR. Get whatever is on your mind off your chest. 

Me. I'm pissed that I haven't gotten paid yet. I'm passed R didn't respond to my email about getting paid. I'm pissed the lady who was supposed to pay me left the company and that my getting paid almost fell through the cracks. I'm pissed the lady that took over asked if I had provided the info which I already had. That's messed up!

RR. What else?

Me. I'm pissed that MC is back. I want him out. Wish I didn't owe him the money. Now I have to be polite and deal with his ****, when I just want him out.

RR. What else?

Me. My room is a mess. I didn't get out of the house. I'm so boring. I'm not working out. I'm eating more than usual. I'm pissed that I'm not working out. 

RR. Here's my advice. You're going to get paid. You did the math today and you have a very real opportunity to make very good money over the next four months. That's great news. In fact, the best news you've had in a long time. Hang in there for the next couple of weeks. Start taking care of yourself starting now. Ok?

Me. Ok. I'll give it a shot.

RR. That's all I can ask.

Me. Thanks for letting me vent.


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## Renovation

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Me. Lots on my mind

RR. Let's hear it

Me. I feel like I have so much to do for this FS project. I'm happy with the progress I'm making, but I'm still frustrated and I'm trying to better understand why. Things are getting better, but still highly frustrated. Can I get your perspective?

RR. Okay. Here's my take. I think there are two things at work. For one, you're concerned about your finances. You're frustrated that it's taking so long to get paid because you need the money. If you had enough funds to pay your bills, then this wouldn't be such a concern. You're also upset that you even have to chase clients to get paid and fearful of having to reveal to others your financial predicament. You're having to maintain a tough and positive exterior even though you're worried and frustrated inside. This, by the way, is the right move. You're doing a good job of persevering. I think you'll feel a lot better when you get paid by FS and G.

Me. Sounds right. And yes that will be a tremendous relief.

RR. The other issue is the slow progress and uncertainty associated with the product. You're frustrated it's taking so long to get the product developed and that there's nothing you can do about this because your folks are working part time on it and you can press them to work any harder. 

Me. Bingo

RR. You're also frustrated because the product has not been tested in the field. So you're afraid it might not work and then you'll have to shut down. You're also worried about continuing to develop the product to have additional capabilities.

Me. Right again.

RR. Okay. Here's my advice. Regarding the financial situation, you did the math and your income potential over the next four months is very good. Thank God. So, you're in a short term situation. I would do your 'schedule bill pay' exercise based on the assumption you will have more funds by month end. You have enough funds where you can go to brunch today. Visualize what it will feel like when you have the funds in your bank account.

Me. Okay. That's helpful. You're right. Thank God that I'm working on projects and that I have some funds coming.

RR. Regarding the product stuff, first of all, you have been testing the product everyday for the last four months. You also tested it at Z back in the day and the feedback was very positive. HP also told you he has confidence that it will work and that it's scalable. So, in MANY ways, your worries are unwarranted.

Me. I guess so, but it's so important to my and my wife's well being that this significantly magnifies the implications of the issue.

RR. All the more reason that you have to look at this stoically. At this point, you have more evidence that it will work that it won't. You have more evidence that the product will be positively perceived that it won't. You have more evidence that HP and G can fix issues that they won't.

Me. Wow. That's really helpful. Thanks for helping me work through this. This has been hugely helpful. At this point, I have more evidence supporting my being optimistic and enthusiastic than not. 

RR. Right. Now go have a joyful day!

Me. You got it. Thanks!!


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## Renovation

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Going to mass gave me great joy

Going to brunch with my wife at a place she wanted to go gave me great joy

Walking down the street holding her hand gave me great joy

Singing the hymn "Joyful, Joyful" gave me great joy

Going to Trader Joes with Dagoberto gave me great joy

Singing disco songs like Dagoberto cracked me up and gave me great joy

Pushing myself to workout at home made me feel good about myself which gave me great joy

Doing the cognitive development exercises made me feel good about myself which gave me great joy

Drinking a healthy smoothie gave me great joy

Cleaning the kitchen and bathroom gave me great joy

Listening to the sound of rain is soothing and brings me great joy

Kissing and hugging my wife gave me great joy

Listening to the video on the science of happiness gave me great joy

Cleaning my room gave me great joy

Going to the park and reading the paper gave me great joy

Clearing my email inbox gave me great joy

Taking a nap gave me great joy

Spraying my face with water gave me great joy

Drinking lemon water gave me great joy

Walking around in shorts gave me great joy

Seeing my friend Dolores at the cafe gave me great joy

Being in a neat and clean home gives me great joy

Doing goblet squats gave me great joy

Scheduling my week gave me great joy

Watching interesting programs gives me great joy

Seeing my friend Jimmy at church gave me great joy

Hearing Father Michael's sermon gave me great joy

Wishing others "peace be with you" gave me great joy

Going to communion and seeing others receive communion, especially little kids, gave me great joy

Picking up the prayer sheets after mass gave me great joy

Staying after mass and praying "Hail Mary" to the statue of the Virgin Mary gave me great joy

Enjoying the beautiful weather gave me great joy

Walking up and down the hill gave me great joy

Buying the protein powder gave me great joy

Singing disco songs in the car while I waited in traffic gave me great joy

Seeing J gave me great joy

Doing the memorization exercises gave me great joy

Doing the deep breathing exercise gave me great joy

Shaving this morning gave me great joy

Getting up super early to work on the FS project and making good progress gave me great joy

Seeing my buddy yesterday at the grocery store who is a fan of my favorite team's main rival wearing his team's jersey and me wearing my team's jersey and our joking about this gave me great joy

Seeing my sweetie make herself her healthy concoction with such joyful and child like exuberance gave me great joy

Reading The Economist short article gave me great joy

Doing the vocabulary exercises gave me great joy

Playing Jumble gave me great joy


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## Renovation

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Seeing my little sweetie on the bus on the way to work makes my heart go pitter-patter. The love I have for her and the fact I have someone in my life that I can love so deeply brings me great joy

Getting MM to agree to help with the various issues gives me relief and also gives me great joy

Having the discipline to get up early to send out emails makes me feel good about myself which brings me great joy

Having the courage to send out follow up emails makes me feel good about myself which brings me great joy

Getting my morning coffee at the corner cafe gives me great joy

Cleaning the kitchen and bathroom so everything is nice and neat gives me great joy

RR. Love it. Now let's get after it!

Me. Ok. Will check in later.


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## Renovation

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Me. Working and alone from home is good and bad. I can be very productive because my commute is 30 seconds and I can get up early and immediately start working. Working alone also means fewer distractions. These are the same reasons that make working at home and alone bad. It's almost all work and it's hard to distinguish work time from down time. It's also lonely at times and way too easy to sequester myself from the rest of the world. Thank God I found SAS because I at least have a way to vent and get my thoughts out on paper and into the 'universe'. 

RR. Yeah, ideally, you'd get out more.

Me. I hate to say it, but until I get paid, it's like I feel ashamed to go out. I also don't want to spend any money. If I'm at home, I don't have to buy lunch. Plus, I really can get a lot more done. The ten hours I save on commuting each week have been used very productively.

RR. Let me ask you this. What might you do different from a work perspective if you did have money?

Me. Well. I might go to the nice cafe I found. I can easily get work done there. It's spacious and very comfortable. But, the main thing I would do different is how I manage my time.

RR. That's interesting. Tell me about that. 

Me. Well. Right now I'm working like a madman to do a great job on this project. And that really is my sole focus. It's like I feel guilty if I do anything else. Taking Sunday off was a big deal. I got up today and started working immediately, which I know is not healthy. 

RR. Yes, it's certainly not ideal. Most productivity and happiness experts recommend that you not check email or start working first thing.

Me. Yeah, I know this, but it's hard to get myself in the gym in the morning because I'm so anxious about money and my company. I feel drained when I get out of bed. The combination of worrying about money and the uncertainty of my business and lack of stability would drain anybody.

RR. It certainly would be challenging, but, then again what you are describing is to a large extent the life of the typical entrepreneur, especially in the early stages of a company.

Me. That's true. Part of my frustration is that for me early stages has lasted five years.

RR. You're not the only one. 

Me. You're right. Anyway, if I had money I would be able to take a break in the middle of the day and, for example, go to a movie in the afternoon. One of the advantages of working from home and alone is flexibility around my schedule. It's not that I would work less. I would work differently. 

RR. Makes sense. Well, I noticed you just got paid. So deposit these funds!

Me. Yep. Good timing! Will check in later.


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## Renovation

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Me. There's a bit of self-doubt and some negative self talk I want to get out of my system. I don't want it to fester.

RR. Ok. Let's hear what you've been telling yourself.

Me. I started getting scared about my ability to put on a great presentation. I started telling myself that I'm not good enough. That because these people have full time jobs and are closing big deals that I'm not qualified to present to them. Who am I to tell them what to do?

RR. What triggered this? 

Me. When I read some of the emails about the big deals they recently landed. 

RR. Do you think you're capable of putting on a GREAT presentation?

Me. Absolutely! I've already started working on it and I'm very pleased about how it's coming together. I'm also confident that at this point I don't need to script it out. I feel sufficiently EXPERT about all the topics that I know I can speak eloquently and with great passion and charisma on all the topics.

RR. Excellent! I'm glad you feel this way. I can understand how you can get thrown for a loop given some of the things that are going on in your life, but very glad to hear that deep down you're confident in yourself and even excited about the opportunity to present on this stage.

Me. I tell you what. I feel I'm as good as SP. He's outstanding and I give him all the credit in the world, but with a little practice and lots of preparation I can also deliver great presentation in my own style. I'm as good as any of the best ___ out there. I know I'm as go as MG. I'm getting fired up and will use the chip on my shoulder to drive me to do an incredible job!

RR. Love it. Did that help?

Me. Definitely! Thanks! :clap


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## Renovation

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Me. Had a better than expected conversation with MC. At the end of the day, he has a very good heart. Yeah, he can be a huge pain in the ***, but, even he recognizes this. Sounds like he's enjoying doing what he was doing before, which is awesome for him and for us. I thank God for helping this work out in the manner that it has. He is going to allow me to pay him over an extended period, which is great. Super helpful and generous on his part. So, I really could not have asked for a better outcome.

RR. That's great. So glad to hear you're on good terms. Really glad to hear this. I imagine this must be a huge relief to you. 

Me. Absolutely. It really is.

RR. Great. What else is up?

Me. Well, I'm a bit pissed that picking FS a/p lost my invoice, which delayed my getting paid. That's messed up! I need this check in order to be able to pay my bills and pay K at the end of the month. They should have paid me by now. That's messed up!

RR. I understand your frustration, but don't worry more than you need to. Today is the 21st. You have until the 31st, which is a week from Friday to get paid. I think it's reasonable to conclude that you will get paid before then. You have to think like a business. Just like sometimes clients don't pay you on time, you have to do the same with your creditors. You pay them when you get paid. Not ideal, but also somewhat standard business practice. My advice is that you work under the assumption that you're going to get paid before the end of the month and that you'll be able to pay K. Think positive. Take the monkey off your back. Or gorilla in your case. Make the choice to take the 800lb "financial worry" gorilla off your back. He's gotten a free ride long enough. Time for him to go elsewhere. They'll him to get the **** out and that his presence is no longer wanted around these parts.

Me. I like it the metaphor. No more gorilla! Will check in later, sans gorilla! :idea


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## Renovation

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Me. Feeling a little frumpy today

RR. What does that mean?

Me. I don't know. I just made it up. I think frumpy usually has to do with appearance, but the word captures the spirit of what I'm feeling. I think it's a cross between frustrated and grumpy.

RR. Interesting. Please elaborate.

Me. It boils down to finances. I'm just frustrated that I haven't been paid yet.

RR. What triggered this?

Me. This morning my wife asked if we had enough money in our bank account to buy her plane ticket to visit her family and I had to tell her that we didn't. Plus K wants a raise. I know I'll be able to pay for this, but until I get paid I can't. Which frustrates the hell out of me. 

RR. What else?

Me. Plus, I hate having to depend on MG to get paid. I don't want to have to keep pressing him to find out if the client paid us yet. I'm just not willing to do anything that might allow him to perceive me as a rung below him. Won't do it. And asking if we got paid is not going to change anything. Either we have or have not. My asking won't impact this. So, no need to have to denigrate myself. But still frustrating that have to depend on him.

RR. The good news is that these projects have been invoiced, so you should be getting paid in the very near term.


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## Renovation

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Me. There's some stuff on my mind.

RR. Ok. But let's try something different this time. Let's imagine that instead of worrying about the issue that you take an extremely positive attitude. Take it to the complete other extreme.

Me. Ok. But what do you mean?

RR. Imagine that the issue has been resolved. Express yourself from that mindset.

Me. Ok. I'm fired up that I finally got paid. This is such a relief. Things are really looking up. I have so much to be grateful for and to be optimistic about. It's great that the FS project is going so well. I love doing this kind of work. I'm going to do an INCREDIBLE job at the kickoff! I am extremely competent. It's going to be a blast! I have so much confidence in myself! I'm a great and natural presenter! I'm at the top of my field. I'm confident and play second fiddle to no one! I'm also going to be in phenomenal shape. I have great posture. I walk with strength, confidence, and enthusiasm. I exude confidence. I have outstanding presence. I'm an expert in my field.

RR. That's more like it. You are very competent. You are an expert in your field. You have every reason to be confident and carry yourself in this manner. Get up early tomorrow and head straight to the gym and do a 20 minute workout. Play this goes here, so all you have to do is pick up your gym bag and go. No hesitation. Time to get strong.


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## Renovation

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Me. Just had a very good conversation with CD. Very encouraging that he might have some opportunities.

RR. Great!

Me. Yeah, but, I'm still tense.

RR. Why?

Me. On one hand, I'm stressed because I have so much going on and I'm afraid I won't be able to pull it all off. So, it's a lack of confidence issue.

RR. What else?

Me. I also tell people things are going great and feel like I'm BSing them.

RR. Here's what's happening. These conversations are forcing you to focus on what is going well, which, is a lot. You do have a lot of momentum. The only thing you're missing is getting paid. And that's coming.

Me. Thanks. You're right.

RR. Great job on that call. Because of it, it sounds like you might have a couple of new opportunities. BTW, it's not unusual to be nervous when you're running your own business or, frankly, even if you're not. So don't beat yourself up over this.

Me. OK. Thanks! Will check in later.


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## Renovation

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Me. Well it was good that I reached out to FS a/p because I learned that the check "should" go out this week. WTF do you mean "should"? That's messed up! The correct answer is "will" go out this week. None of this "should" baloney! That's messed up. You already lost my invoice once, which delayed my getting paid. That's just totally messed up!

RR. Listen. I know it's not the perfect answer, but, at least, you know you will be paid in the very near term. It is very realistic that given today is Wednesday that you will get paid before the end of the month, which is Friday next week. 

Me. Yes, that is likely, but, still frustrating that it hasn't been taken care of yet.

RR. Think of it this way. If you didn't take the initiative to contact them, you would be still wondering whether or not you would get paid this month. Now you know that the answer is "yes". You don't know if you'll get paid this week, but now you have a very high level of certainty that you'll get paid before month end, so that's got to give you some degree of relief.

Me. You're right. Not ideal, but good to know the check is or will soon be in the mail.


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## Renovation

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Me. Well. I got out of the house. I set the alarm for 2pm with the idea that I would use that to trigger me to go to the gym. Hit the snooze button a couple of times and almost blew it off, but somehow I managed to change into my sweat pants and workout shoes, get in the car, and go to the gym.

RR. That's great!

Me. Yeah. I thought about going to a movie, but the idea of spending a couple of hours alone and not being productive didn't sit well with me. Going to the gym, got me out of the house, is healthy, and cheap - free parking. I did a 15 minute bike workout and pushed myself a little bit. I also brought my iPad with me so I was able to play Jumble and the vocabulary game while I did my workout. Very productive and fun. 

RR. Great

Me. My strategy is to do the bare minimum, but I at least do something. I have a streak of two days working out and worked out twice today!

RR. This is excellent use of your time and a great way to take advantage of your flexible schedule. Plus, this will help you achieve your goal of weighing 170.x by 11/5.

Me. Yes. This is definitely a step in the right direction. All told I had a good day today.

RR. Tell me about it

Me. Had a really good call with CD that could lead to some business. Had a GREAT meeting with C from W. Could not have gone any better.

RR. That's great to hear. Plus, you made some forward progress with getting paid. Plus, MC of all people might finally come through. Plus, K is making very good progress and has a couple of deals that are closable this year.

Me. Yep. That's all good. The pain in my *** is lack of payment but, at least, I know that's coming.

RR. What are you going to do when it comes?

Me. I'm going to deposit it straightaway. That will feel very good!

RR. Then what?

Me. Take my wife to dinner at our favorite restaurant. Buy her airplane ticket. 

RR. What else?

Me. Here's a list

1. Take light jacket, soccer shirt, and dress shirts to the dry cleaners
2. Schedule my car to get the fluid leak fixed
3. Pay the back due mortgage
4. Pay my overdue lab bill
5. Pay my phone bill
6. Pay the cable bill

RR. Some of these don't sound like a lot of fun

Me. I'm looking forward to paying off these bills. This will be a huge load off my shoulders.

RR. Anything else to add to your list?

Me. I'll also get a haircut and get my car washed.

RR. Boring...

Me. Not for me. I'm happy if I can take my wife to a few nice meals over the next few weeks. Might look into going to SC for Thanksgiving or maybe to some BB. Maybe to our favorite little town for a couple of days. That could be fun.

RR. Now you're talking.

Me. Ok. Enjoyed our conversation out here on this beautiful day. We'll talk later.

RR. You got it.


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## Renovation

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Me. Woke up not feeling great. Maybe a light cold or allergies. But, somehow pushed myself to go to the gym. I'm committed to weighing 170.x by 11/5 and put myself on a path to get in great shape. I also made it easy to go straight to the gym because I went to bed with my gym shorts and sweat shirt on and had my gym bag packed, so all I had to do was put on my shoes and head out. This is a great strategy.

RR. Excellent!

Me. Yeah. And I also did a good job with my diet yesterday. Low carbs and lots of veggies. Plus, no late night snack. Instead of snacking, I chewed gum. I think this is also a good strategy, since my late night snacking is definitely nervous eating. Maybe I'll even use the gum chewing to do some deep breathing exercises.

RR. Good thinking

Me. I realize that I need to take initiative to implement coping strategies to deal with my anxiety/stress. I owe it to myself.

RR. Very good. What else is on your mind?

Me. Well, I'm upset that I still haven't been paid. I know I have been complaining about this almost every day, but it's just frustrating and if I don't vent here, I don't know what else to do.

RR. Better to get it out of your system than let it fester.

Me. Let me just vent for a second. I'm so f-ing pissed off that the f-ing FS a/p has not paid me yet. First of all, R did not tell me I needed to submit an invoice until about a week or so after we started. Then, I submit it. Then, they need more info. Then, the woman to whom I sent the invoice left. Then it gets lost. Then the new woman wants to know if I had sent the info, which I had. Then, R needs to chase them down. Then I email to find out status and am asked for info. I send it and hear nothing back, so follow up and am told that the payment "should" go out this week. So messed up!

RR. I have a few questions for you.

Me. Ok

RR. Do you expect to get paid?

Me. Yes

RR. Do you think that given that yesterday FS a/p told you that the invoice should be paid this week that it's reasonable to conclude with a high degree of certainty that you will receive the check next week?

Me. Yes, I guess so.

RR. Yes or no?

Me. Yes

RR. Do you have enough funds to pay for your grocery and food expenses over the next week and maybe even go to a movie?

Me. Yes

RR. Are there any bills that you have to pay right away or can they wait until you get paid?

Me. They can wait until I get paid

RR. Ok, given that you now have a high degree of certainty that you will be paid next week and that you do not have any large out of the ordinary expenses that you need to pay before you get paid and that you have enough funds for food and inexpensive entertainment this weekend, would you prefer to put a lot of pressure on yourself and be down or would you prefer to enjoy the day and the weekend and approach life with an optimistic, enthusiastic, joyful, and kind/compassionate (not angry and frustrated) attitude? Would the latter feel a lot better.

Me. Yes. Definitely.

RR. Great. Then make this choice. Be mentally tough. Persevere. Keep going when others might fall. Time to compete. Time to believe in yourself and your gifts. Be tenacious. Be enthusiastic. Raise your arms in celebration just to enjoy that feeling. Practice a confident posture and carrying yourself with strength and kindness. Do your voice exercises. And work on putting on an incredible presentation. You are phenomenally capable. Play second fiddle to no one. 

Me. I can't thank you enough. This was incredibly helpful. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

RR. You got it. Now go get after it!


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## Renovation

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Me. Came across an interesting video about the "act as if" technique, which proved to be very useful. The crux of it is to act as if you're fired up. Act as if you're enthusiastic. Act as if you're very confident. The speaker, who is an athletic trainer, suggested that you act as if though you're not tired, even if you really are.

RR. I've heard of this technique. 

Me. So I tried it. I acted as if I was fired up and walked around in a posture, at a pace, and using gestures that would indicate I was absolutely fired up, enthusiastic, happy, and confident. Really helped put me in a great mindset for my meeting with FS.

RR. Very good. What do you want to get done today?

Me. Good question and thanks for getting me focused on this. So it's about 12:30 and I have a three more meetings on the calendar, two of which might not be happening. So, I need to prep the outline agreement for meeting with E as well as possibly show him some sample deliverables. Net: need to prep for this meeting.

RR. What else?

Me. Made a commitment to CD that I would email him to set up a follow-up call for next week. 

RR. Ok. Then make sure to do so. What else?

Me. If I can spend a couple of hours on the FS project, I can start and possibly finish the B__ P__ section of the document. Plus, I'd like to finish framing the document. If I can do all that, then great progress. Ideally, would like use this to also frame up the agenda. I like doing this type of work and the more prepared I start getting for the KO, the better. 

RR. Ok. It looks like you'll have time to work on this after your meeting with K. Go in 24 minute chunks and see how far you can get. Also, literally, pencil out your prep for the meeting with E.

Me. Sounds good. Will check in later.

RR. Also, make sure you eat a healthy lunch - don't skip it.

Me. Thanks for reminding me to eat!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Had a decent day today. Good news. I got paid. It wasn't the check I was expecting, but it is highly welcome and buys me a little bit of time. The big check will hopefully come in the next couple of days. Anyway, a bit of good news for a change.

RR. Great.

Me. Plus I got complimented about the progress and quality of the project work thus far, which made me feel good.

RR. Excellent

Me. Truth be told, I really enjoy doing this work. It's intellectually stimulating, plus it's work that I will be able to reuse.

RR. Very good

Me. It's almost like working on a hobby for me. Plus, the more I do, the more I learn. The more I learn, the more I document. The more I document, the more I put myself in a position to grow and leverage this work for future opportunities.

RR. That's a great way to think about it. Anything you want to get out of your system?

Me. Yes. I'm pissed that MG has not called me and did not return my email. I'm also pissed that he told me about a couple of opportunities and then apparently decided not to bring me in. And I'm not going to chase him down. Plus, I have no clue about what's going on with the two projects we're on. 

RR. Go on

Me. Net, I'm not going to track him down. 

RR. Here's my advice. Focus on your project and business. Try to get a better handle on your pipeline. Try setting your scoreboard for all deals >50 points.

Me. Will do. Thanks.


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## Renovation

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Me. Just read a an article that said it's not healthy to suppress negative feelings. It said something to the effect of that you can control anger and if you don't then anger turns into rage, which controls you.

RR. Interesting

Me. So, I need to vent. 

RR. Go for it

Me. I'm frankly pissed I didn't get paid by FS today. I have to admit hoping I would receive the check today. They said the check might go out this week, so was hoping to get it today. Part of what triggerd my anger/frustration/fear was the call from the bank. Very frustrating that I'm going to be late on the payment again. And then I'm afraid that their payment will slip another week. Probably not realistic, but hard to deal with, nonetheless. Just pisses me off. They said the payment "should" go out this week. It's messed up that they didn't particularly given that they lost the invoice. Very frustrating!!

RR. I hear you. I think it's good you're getting it out of your system. My advice is that you don't imagine the worst. As we analyzed yesterday it's reasonable to assume you're getting paid next week. It's perfectly reasonable.

Me. Yeah, but it seems like every week something is getting delayed and I'm sick and tired of this. 

RR. I understand. But, it is not going to do you any good to dwell on this. It's perfectly reasonable that you be upset and frustrated. And I'm glad you've found a vehicle - SAS - to get your emotions under control. 

Me. Thanks.

RR. It also didn't help matters that you were feeling sick today. You can't discount that.

Me. Good point. I felt crappy today so I didn't get any work done, so that frankly bothered me because I felt like I was being a lazy bum just lying down all day watching tv.

RR. Imagine a close friend making that comment. How might you respond to that statement if it were made by a loved one.

Me. I'd probably say that their first priority would be to take care of themself. And their health should be their first priority. I might even them give them a hug if I felt it might help them feel better. 

RR. Good. Then you get my point.

Me. Definitely. Thanks. This really helps me. Appreciate you helping me put things in perspective.


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## Renovation

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Me. It's interesting. I'm afraid to spend ANY money until I get the paycheck from FS. 

RR. What do you mean?

Me. I'm afraid to spend even $40 on entertainment. We went out last night for dinner and spent about $70. So, today, I was very reluctant to go out even to a movie because that would be like $30. Even if I were not feeling well, I would be reluctant to go out and spend money.

RR. Tell me more.

Me. Well, I recognize that this is silly because: a) we have the funds, b) it's not like we're talking about spending hundreds of dollars, c) it's unfair to my wife, and d) I'm deferring full enjoyment of life for both of us.

RR. Interesting revelation

Me. I'm having a hard time fully enjoying life. And I feel like I'm this really boring guy with no interesting hobbies and not a lot of friends. I'm hesitant to do social stuff because it might cost money and I might have to explain things are not going well. I'm ashamed.

RR. What else? Let's get it out.

Me. I'm always nervous about money and my business. Things are going a lot better, but there's so much uncertainty. There's also a lot to do, which feels overwhelming. And, then I feel nervous I'm not going to do a good job or that my business will not do well.

RR. Ok. Let's break this down. We will examine your thinking and problem solve. Let's start with fully enjoying life. Let me ask you this, if money were not an object, what would you like to be doing that you're not currently doing? Let's make believe you had a personal coach and that you might have to do things that sound fun or that if you heard someone else say they did it, you'd think, this person is interesting or this person really enjoys life.

Me. Great question. I'll write a list.

1. Meet my wife for happy hour for a cocktail or a glass of wine after work. We NEVER - almost never - have done that. I'm too cheap and a teetotaler. 
2. Go to an ethnic restaurant in a a different part of town on a weekend night. We're both foodies. And love finding new places.
3. Go out to dinner with friends. Never do this because don't want to spend money.
4. Go out to dinner with my sister and her friends. We always have a nice time. My wife and sister get along really well.
5. Go to a play. There are a lot of venues where you can get tickets for $20 per person. I have to admit, I'm still living in the 80s and think this is expensive. I know the times we have done this I have never regretted it.
6. Go to a lecture. There are all sorts of interesting speakers and authors that come into town.
7. Go to a jazz concert. My wife and I both really enjoy jazz and music in general and have always enjoyed ourselves when we have done this.
8. Go to the FB after work to get a cheap bite to eat.
9. Go to a movie on a school night
10. Go to B - it's really not that far
11. Go to PR - it's a little bit of a drive, but it's different and my wife has said she would like to do this
12. Go away for Thanksgiving
13. Do a touristy thing like take a tour of ___
14. Go to brunch at a new place
15. Go for a hike
16. Do a meet up that looks interesting
17. Go to a museum and have lunch
18. Go to a farmers market
19. Take a fun class at the Learning Annex if it still exists
20. Go to a wine bar
21. Go out for dessert
22. Go for a walk in the park with our headphones
23. Go for brunch toward HB
24. Go to a comedy show
25. Make a nice dinner at home

RR. That's a good list of fun and not super expensive things to do.

Me. There's no absence of fun things to do that's for sure.

RR. Here's my perspective and advice.

Me. Love to hear it

RR. First of all, you know that you're about to get a very nice check, likely, this week. You've also done the math and your income opportunity looks very good over the next several months. It's enough where you can now start doing these things without worrying about income, which has even your primary deterrent to date. 

Me. Makes sense.

RR. Give yourself permission to enjoy life. Also, think about it from the perspective of rewarding your wife for all of her love and support. She enjoys life's little pleasures. It's not like you have to take her to the fanciest restaurant in town or she won't have fun.

Me. She's awesome. Going to the restaurant last night made her super happy. I love making her happy.

RR. So, do this. Plan out the next couple of weeks in terms of fun activities. Maybe go to a jazz concert next weekend and a play the following week. If you put something on the calendar, then you both have something to look forward to and you don't have to make a huge financial commitment. But now that you are starting to bring in an income, start savoring life. Do this and you'll stop thinking of yourself as a boring person and will instead think of yourself as an interesting person.

Me. Sounds like a plan! Thanks!


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## Renovation

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Me. Ok. I'm really going to try to work on having a more positive, grateful, and confident attitude. Things are looking up. Time to enjoy life. I'm going to immerse myself in content focused on optimism, happiness, and loving-kindness. Central to this is being super loving and kind to others. Rather than getting angry, frustrated, defensive, threatened or jealous, I'm going to focus on being generous and focus on helping others feel great. 

RR. I like this.

Me. I get so caught up in my woes that I just end up thinking about myself. Ultimately, worrying is a very selfish act. So, I'm going to do some reading tonight on these topics.

RR. Like it!


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## Renovation

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Me. Listened to a video on inspiration by Tony Robbins. One of the points he made that resonated with me is that you need to focus on what you want not on what you don't want. I have been focusing on what I don't want. 

RR. Elaborate

Me. I don't want to be in debt. I don't want to worry about money. I don't want to worry about the uncertainty of my business. I don't want to be in bad shape.

RR. Very interesting.

Me. I'm going to think about this a bit. I'm too tired and sleepy right now to delve into this, but I did have a thought earlier in the evening that I found compelling and motivational.

RR. What was that?

Me. It had to do with answering the question, "What do you want to be known for?"

RR. And?

Me. My immediate response was that I want to be known as someone who is very kind, competent, and enthusiastic.

RR. Very straightforward. 

Me. Benjamin Franklin allegedly asked himself something to the effect of, "What did I do today to contribute to society?". Not sure if it was the question, but it doesn't matter. The point is to have a question you can ask everyday that will help you focus and move toward your personal well being or happiness.

RR. I like where this is going.

Me. For me, the question could be something along the lines of "What did you do today to exhibit kindness, competence, and enthusiasm?" Put another way, "What did you today to show love, grow intellectually, and exude joy?"

RR. I like this focus.

Me. I'll continue to think about this, but I like the intention. :yes


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## Renovation

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RR. Please share with me what's gone well today

Me. Sure. A few things. For one, found out that the opportunity at SF is still alive. Unfortunately, a decision is not as imminent as I first thought, but, at least, we didn't lose the deal, which I was afraid might have happened.

RR. That is not bad news, which is a relief. And it's good news that you still have a very good shot at landing it Q1. Any lessons learned?

Me. Well, I started to let my imagination run wild. I started thinking that B went back to his former colleagues and that they told him that they were holding off, so he had decided to do the same. I also imagined that they had chosen our competition.

RR. What might you have done/thought differently to have prevented that worry?

Me. That's a a good question. I probably still would have had it, but I might have also written out another possible better scenario. In other words, I could have concluded that another possible outcome was that B was put in the role and that they put the deal on hold until B came up to speed. Key lesson is that if I'm going to take the time to imagine a worst case scenario, I should also write out a few other possible scenarios and then even weigh them because a "deal delayed" scenario was a more likely outcome than a "lost deal" scenario.

RR. Good. And nice job being persistent with B. What else?

Me. Getting out of the house and not being alone when I'm tired is key. I'm kind of sleepy right now, but, at least, I'm out in public and not isolating myself, which is when I'm most vulnerable to getting down.

RR. I think it's great you found this place. You can stay here for 90 minutes and then go grocery shopping and run your errands.

Me. That's the plan. Ok. Let me get back to it. 

RR. Go for it


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## Renovation

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Me. I came across the best advice ever from a cartoon character: When something seems bad, turn it around and find something good. This is brilliant in its simplicity. In essence, it asks you to consider the good that came from the adversity.

RR. Give it a shot

Me. The good that came from me not getting paid today was that it forced me to consider a way to deal with this issue other than fretting about it. I thought about how I reacted on Saturday and how my getting pissed ruined the rest of my day, which put a damper on the night out with my wife. 

RR. I like this line of thinking. Very good job. The fact you told R directly helps increase the likelihood the check will go out tomorrow. It doesn't guarantee it, but it's better than you reaching out to their A/P and getting no or a less than adequate response. Now you know R will deal with it first thing in the morning.

Me. Thanks!


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## Renovation

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RR. Let's piggy back off of your new adversity management approach. Give me a few reasons why you should feel VERY optimistic

Me. Ok. Let's give it a shot

1. Getting paid a nice chunk of change from FS for the first phase of the project
2. Doing a great job on the project thus far
3. Can invoice FS for the next portion of the project in November to ensure November income
4. Getting paid for next phase of K project
5. Have a nice upside with FS 
6. Making progress with product 
7. The response to the product continues to be very positive
8. Having a m___ product is very exciting
9. The forecast is encouraging - need a little bit of a break but the opportunity is definitely there

RR. Excellent. Keep after it! :idea


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## Renovation

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Me. Ok, so HP did not show up again for our 7am meeting. My normal reaction is to get extremely frustrated and angry. I tend to think it's a catastrophe and start imagining the worst.

RR. I like that you are starting to understand what normally triggers negative emotions and distorted thinking and that you're able to label the type of distorted thinking and are immediately exploring a more positive mind set. What are you going to do?

Me. I'm going to try the Daniel the Tiger if something seems bad turn it around and find something good approach/philosophy.

RR. Let's hear it

Me. Well, since G also rescheduled, my morning is now free, so I can go work from the cafe, which I enjoy. 

RR. That's a good way to deal with it, but how else are you going to deal with the fact he didn't show up?

Me. Well, I'm not going to catastrophize and imagine the worst and here's why. He has always come through. During our last call he told me that he's working on a very important part of the product. If he wasn't committed for the long-term, he would not be doing this. What he is doing is in fact great. 

RR. Very good point

Me. Also, while I would like the product to be ready now, thank God, that I have income now and for the foreseeable future, which buys me time. Moreover, G is also making good progress with the app. So, the point being that I'm not going to make a federal case about it because we are making progress and will continue to do so.

RR. Good. Go get some rest and then go out.

Me. Good idea


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## Renovation

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Me. Lots on my mind

RR. Let's hear it

Me. First off, I'm absolutely pissed off

RR. Really?

Me. Well, let's see. 

- I'm pissed that I haven't gotten paid yet. I'm pissed that I'm tired. 
- I'm pissed the product isn't ready. 
- I'm pissed that E has gotten back to me. 
- I'm pissed that I binged last night.
- I'm pissed that I woke up early again and that I'm sleepy and tired. 
- I'm pissed that I have so much work to do. 
- I'm pissed that R is asking so much of me. 
- I'm pissed that I'm late again on my mortgage payment. 
- I'm pissed that the dentist charged my wife so much money. 
- I'm pissed I'm alone. 
- I'm pissed that there's so much uncertainty
- I'm pissed that I'm so weak I have to come here to vent

RR. Wow. You really are pissed.

Me. Yeah. Have to go. Will be back later. :mum

RR. Ok

Me. I'm back.

RR. You were pretty pissed off last time you were. Anything else you want to add?

Me. Yes. I'm pissed that it's taking so f-ing long to build the f-ing product!

RR. Anything else?

Me. Let me think. I'm pissed the house is a mess. I'm pissed I was too tired to go to the gym. I'm pissed that I'm too lazy to make myself lunch. I'm pissed I feel pressured.

RR. You done?

Me. I'm pissed that TP cancelled the meeting at the last second. And that they've done it before.

RR. Ok. I'm glad you got all of this stuff out of your system. Now instead of going back through each item, let's just focus on how to get you in a better, more positive and empowering mood. Make sense?

Me. Yep. 

RR. Did you get any good news recently?

Me. Well, yes. Yesterday I learned that the check from FS is in the mail.

RR. Why is that awesome?

Me. It's awesome because it's a good sized check and it will help me to pay off a number of bills, including our mortgage and K without worrying about being left with no money.

RR. Why else is it awesome?

Me. Well it will be awesome to take a picture of the check and deposit into my business account and for the first time in a very long time, see a nice-sized balance. That will feel really great. In fact, it will feel so great that it will be worth celebrating and I'm planning on taking my wife to her favorite restaurant on Friday night.

RR. That is awesome. Anything else awesome about this?

Me. Well, yes. It's also awesome that this is only the first part of the payment and that I'll likely get paid another good chunk in November and then December and January. That knowledge that I'll be getting other pay checks in the next couple of months is also awesome! It really takes the pressure off.

RR. Great. Anything else that's awesome about FS?

Me. As a matter of fact, yes. It's awesome that there is also a very high likelihood that they'll keep me on after January to do some more project work. It might even be three or more months. Awesome to know that that possibility is there.

RR. Awesome is right. Any other news that was awesome?

Me. Yes. I got fantastic news this morning

RR. Really? What was it?

Me. I found out that the G deal is still on, which is absolutely awesome!

RR. Why is that?

Me. Because that will also be a nice paycheck. I was afraid that there was going to be a very long delay with this project or that it might even be cancelled, so it was such a tremendous relief when I heard from MG this morning letting me know that we have a kickoff call with the new executive next week. That's just awesome!! 

RR. That's great

Me. You bet it's great. It's a nice paycheck. What's really exciting is that the combination of just the K and FS projects will pay me over the next 3-4 months. That's more money I made all year.

RR. Wow. That's fantastic!

Me. It really is. I almost can't get my head around this. Plus, the DL project is still out there and, once we have the product ready, if I scrape, I might also be able to do a few small projects that could also bring in some nice change.

RR. Well then scrape!

Me. Absolutely! I'll put together a list for K to hound to close a deal.

RR. Any other awesome news?

Me. Yes. I do have more very good news to report.

RR. No way!

Me. As we've been "speaking" I took the initiative to email my colleague at S to check in on the DL deal and I got the great news that the deal is on and that they're planning on buying from our partner in the next couple of weeks, which means they would likely buy from us shortly thereafter.

RR. Why is this fantastic news?

Me. This is fantastic because I now might be able to go with my wife to visit her family during the holidays, which would be just phenomenal.

RR. Wow. Now that would be awesome. Imagine how happy that would make your wife.

Me. Yep. Ok. Thanks for helping me focus on the good stuff and thank God there is plenty off it. Now time to get back to work. Will check in later.


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## Renovation

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Me. Just had the meeting with the main man at FS

RR. How did it go?

Me. It went really well

RR. Awesome

Me. The client was VERY pleased

RR. Great. So, how are you feeling?

Me. Anxious

RR. Why?

Me. I did a really good job and I know I came across as very competent.

RR. So, what's wrong?

Me. I'm worried about all the work that I have to do. I'm worried about whether or not I'll do a good job at the event. I worry about whether or not our product is going to work now and in the future. I worry about if there will be a market for the product given what S is introducing. I worry about our product being written in F and if we will be able to make the switch. I worry about long term finances.

RR. Ok. Let's take these in chunks. Let's start with the amount of work you have to do. A couple of things. First, you're capable of doing it. Second, it's a phenomenal opportunity to build your skill set and, again, you're fully capable of doing it. In terms of doing the work, just get after it. Now that you're making money you can go work from different cafés and treat yourself to nice lunches. This gets you out of the house. And makes the work a fun event. Then, just make sure you're planning your day and continue to use your timer technique to get stuff done. Make sense?

Me. Definitely

RR. Great. In terms of the event. You did a fabulous job today in a similarly "intense" scenario. Yes, it was a web conference but you didn't use your notes. You were prepared. You were eloquent. You were dynamic. You were personable. You came across as personable, enthusiastic, competent and confident. Point being, you owned the material. Just as you will own the event material. Plus, you really enjoy doing this. It's something that gives you a lot of satisfaction.

Me. That's true. Yes, it's a lot of work, but, I'll be ready. I will put on a great event. Just mike me up and I'll have a blast interacting with the audience. This is and will be a lot of fun! I'm looking forward to it!

RR. Excellent! That's what I like to hear. Let's tackle the product worry.

Me. Ok

RR. A few things. Firstly, K is using the product every day and you've used it extensively and it's worked. Right?

Me. Yes

RR. Second, you have identified all of the issues and the team is working on addressing them. Right?

Me. Yes

RR. Do you have confidence in the teams ability to address the issues. Forget how long it's taking. Fundamentally, do you believe they can address the issues?

Me. Absolutely

RR. Have they proven to have done this in the past?

Me. Yes

RR. Do you believe they are committed to continue to work on the product?

Me. Yes. They have been at it for awhile and have given every indication that they are dedicated. Slow, but dedicated.

RR. Any other reasons you should feel confident?

Me. Yes. The fact we have built this on F is a huge benefit. 

RR. Ok. Do you see the value of your solution?

Me. Fair question. Yes. Being able to do what I just talked about with FS is of great value. For example, if I have a meeting with a new prospect, our m product would allow me to increase the odds of conducting high quality and thorough calls.


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## Renovation

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Me. I'm pissed

RR. Why?

Me. I don't like being asked to do stuff at the last second. And I'm pissed that EC waited until the last second to suggest we meet today. And then it pisses me off to that K is pressing me to also meet with him.

RR. So what are you doing about it?

Me. I told a white lie and said I had to do something last second. This takes some of the pressure off of me. 

RR. Listen if it helps you and doesn't hurt you, then no worries.

Me. I'm tired of having to be everyone's lackey

RR. I understand the other peoples perspective. It's not like they're doing anything bad. In fact, they're trying to help. But, hey if you're not up to it. Don't worry about it. :mum


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. I'm really tired today. 

RR. What's up?

Me. Kind of a blah day today. Just feeling really physically tired. I didn't feel like speaking with K. Just really tired today. I didn't feel like speaking with EC at the last second. I'm kind of pissed.

RR. Really? That's kind of odd.

Me. Day started ok but didn't get much done after call with CD. Just really tired.
Don't remember what I did after call with CD. I'm in a crappy mood.

RR. Why?

Me. Feel like I kind of wasted today. Didn't get much done. And just really tired. Maybe took too much magnesium.

RR. What's on your mind?

Me. I'm pissed that it's going to take a week for my deposit to go through.

RR. Do you need all of the funds right now?

Me. Well, no. 

RR. Then what's the issue.

Me. I'm just pissed that it took so f___g long to get f__g paid. That's f__d up!

RR. How long do you want to stay pissed about this? Put another way, would you prefer to be in a better mood?

Me. I guess

RR. What do you mean, you guess?

Me. I'm just tired and in a crappy mood 

RR. Would you like to feel better?

Me. I don't know

RR. Let's do this. Get whatever is on your mind out of your system. Let me ask a simple question. Why are you so pissed? Get it out.

Me. I'm pissed because K is being so f__g pushy. I'm pissed because I'm tired. I'm pissed that I ___. Im pissed that I'm so tired. I'm pissed that I hardly got anything done today. I'm pissed I have to wait for my deposit to go through. I'm pissed that it took FS so f__g long to pay me. I'm pissed that E didn't get back to me. I'm pissed I'm so tired. I'm pissed that I didn't get squat done today.

RR. Let me ask a simple question. Would you prefer to feel more positive and energized?

Me. Maybe

RR. Would you to feel more optimistic?

Me. I guess

RR. Do you think it's possible for you to feel better?

Me. Maybe

RR. What would you say to friend that you cared about if they were down for the reasons you cited?

Me. I would try to understand what's gnawing at them. And I'd encourage them to be compassionate toward their self.

RR. Get whatever is in your system out of your system.

Me. Ok. I'm just pissed. I'm frustrated that f___ing K is pressing me to drop whatever I'm doing to meet with EC. He's had all f___g week to get back to me. Who the f___ does she think she is? I'm just f___g pissed. Quit f___g nagging me. Leave me the f___ alone! 

RR. Would you like to be in a better mood?

Me. I guess

RR. Now you're just being difficult. Here's what I want you to do.

Me. Let's hear it.

RR. First of all, forgive yourself. Everyone has a crappy day every now and then. 

Me. Ok

RR. Next, pay K right away. Let her know that you're sending the check.

Me. Okay.

RR. Then just plan your week next week.

Me. Got it.

RR. Now I want you to give me three reasons why you should feel encouraged.

Me. Well. First, the response from the guy from F was very positive. Second, apparently K had a great meeting. Third, FS is going really well. 

RR. That's encouraging.

Me. I just saw this episode on the news about a young boy who is going blind and how his parents are helping him experience his fondest wishes before he goes blind. So many reasons to be thankful. 

RR. Kind of put things in perspective, doesn't it?

Me. It does. It certainly does. Ok. Thanks. This was helpful. I'll work through it a bit more but in a bit better mood than I was before I started.


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## Renovation

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Me. Today is the first day of the rest of my life

RR. Like the sound of that

Me. As you know, I have been in a huge worry mode the last 20 years. I exaggerate but not too much.

RR. Keep going.

Me. I'm just going to try to worry less. More importantly, I'm going to try to stop deferring happiness and taking care of myself. If I had been working out intensely and regularly the last few months I could be in great shape right now. So one of my key goals is to make vigorous exercise just a core part of who I am and what I do. NO MATTER WHAT. I read about a doctor who said that for her working out is just a natural part of her life like breathing and eating.

RR. OK let's just focus on today and tomorrow for now. What are you going to do differently?

Me. Today I'm going to do a 30-minute interval training workout on the lifecycle and a 15-minute circuit training workout. I'm also going to restart logging my workouts. Specifically how many reps and what weight I do for a specific exercise.

RR. And tomorrow?

Me. Tomorrow I'm going to do a 45-minute cardio workout. 30 minute on the Lifecycle and 15 minutes on the elliptical machine. NO MATTER WHAT.

RR. When tomorrow? 

Me. At 3pm

RR. Excellent!

Me. I'll check in later. :mum


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## Renovation

THREE THINGS

What three things can I do today that will either bring me great joy, optimize my wellness and productivity, and/or remove stress and toxic energy?

1. Do a strong workout
2. Mail check
3. Get finances in order

Bonus: get out in nature :um


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Well, I just paid a bunch of bills

RR. How does it feel?

Me. It's a huge relief to have gotten caught up. Money has been such a stressor for me these last several years, but yet through the grace of God we still have a roof over our heads, food in the pantry, and our health plus hope for a brighter future.

RR. That's the right perspective. But I bet it feels good to no longer have those bills hanging over your head.

Me. I don't want financial worries to weaken me, but, unfortunately, they have.

RR. What do you mean?

Me. Well. I've gotten into a vicious cycle. Worry. Go to bed late. Get up early. Feel tired. Don't go to gym. Start working. Worry. 

RR. Doesn't sound like a lot of fun or very fulfilling.

Me. It hasn't been, but I'm not going to dwell on the past, but I do want to learn from it.

RR. Like the sound of that. So, what are you going to do differently?

Me. Well, fortunately, I will have money coming in over the next few months, which is a great relief, especially, if we get the DL project.

RR. That will be a nice change. 

Me. Yes, definitely.

RR. So, what's the new plan?

Me. Well, for one, I'm going to make fitness a huge priority. To the extent that I want to get obsessed with it. I want to get obsessed with it. I think it will be a good distraction for me. Plus, getting strong and fit will help me psychologically and physically. I'm going to get into the best shape of my life over the next several months.

RR. That's great! What do you need to do differently to make this happen?

Me. I need to get to bed around 10 or 1030. Period. If I do that, I can get up early and get to the gym early. 

RR. Definitely like what I'm hearing.

Me. Thanks. I'll check in lately.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Gym is open tomorrow at 8am. I normally don't go to the gym on Sundays, especially in the morning cause I tend to puts around and the go to church at 930. But I just thought of a way to get in a workout, have time to get coffee, hang out with the wife, and get to church on time.

RR. Great let's hear it.

Me. I'm usually up early anyway, so I can be at the gym at 8am right when it opens. I can get in a 30 minute strength and flexibility workout. Go get coffee and a pastry for the Mrs and be home by 9 at the latest. We hang out. I got my workout in and after church, we have the rest of the day wide open.

RR. Like. Just make sure to be in bed tonight by 1030pm at the latest. This is a nice change and a healthy one for your mind, body, and spirit. Way to go!

Me. Thanks!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. I just made reservations at a nice AND inexpensive hotel for Thanksgiving.

RR. That's great!

Me. Plus, I also made reservations for a couple of nice but reasonable restaurants. The hotel includes breakfast. It also has a nice gym.

RR. Sounds nice. 

Me. Frankly I was really surprised at how reasonable it was. We also don't have to fly anywhere, so we save money. I was thinking of going to __ but that would have cost us $600 just for the flights. That's about what everything including food will cost us for three days because we can drive there.

RR. That's sounds like a really nice time

Me. It's great because it gives us something to look forward to.

RR. I bet this makes the wife happy

Me. It absolutely does. It's fun to be able to plan stuff in advance so we have something to look forward to

RR. Good for you. This is nice for a change.

Me. Yep. And fortunately there are things to do that don't cost a lot of money.

RR. Go have some fun and plan some other fun things. opcorn


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

RR. So what's on your mind?

Me. Well I'm definitely feeling better than yesterday

RR. That's good to hear 

Me. Yeah, at this time yesterday, I was beat. 

RR. Ok. So, what's on your mind?

Me. So on one hand things are better. But on another I'm still feeling worried and frustrated.

RR. Really? Why?

Me. Well. Still worried about finances. And I'm feeling frustrated because I have so much to do and it feels like I don't have enough time. 

RR. Since I assume you want to feel better, let me give you some advice.

Me. Ok

RR. In terms of your finances, you just got a nice sized check, so, very fortunately, between that and the income you have coming in from the other projects now through January, you don't have to worry about money until January. 

Me. Hmmm

RR. I know your finances have been a big source of worry for a long time, so you're not used to feeling comfortable financially. But fortunately in just a matter of a week you'll have all the funds available.

Me. Yeah but I'm pissed it took so long to get paid by FS. It's messed up that it took so f'ing long. This should have been taken cate of a long time ago.

RR. Ok. I think you needed to get that out of your system. But, no use dwelling on it now. Let's take a look on the bright side.

Me. Ok. Let's hear it.

RR. Well for one, you have money in the bank and more coming. Plus, you have good prospects for the business. You have to take a leap of faith that G and H will come through. Now is the time. It's time to be your best - physically, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and professionally. It's time to compete. It's time to compete. You love to compete. 

Me. I do. I noticed that at the gym today I responded really well to competing with that little ****, SP. I'm going to use that anger to propel me to push harder in all areas of my life. Which in a very practical way means that I need to start changing my behavior and attitudes. 

RR. Like?

Me. Like getting to bed earlier and going to the gym first thing in the morning. I think that's pivotal. 

RR. Definitely. Getting into great physical shape always makes you feel good. Set the film club as a good date to work toward to get in great shape.

Me. I also want make working toward happiness more of a priority, so I'm going to do that. Ok. Going to run now.

RR. See you later.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

1. Seeing my wife enjoy brunch today brought me tremendous joy
2. Hearing Father Michaels tremendous sermon brought mr great joy
3. Going for coffee after mass brought me great joy
4. Seeing my friend jimmy at church brought me great joy
5. Seeing children receive communion gave me great joy
6. Thinking about the love my mom and dad had for me and my sister brought me great joy
7. Telling my wife how much I love her gave me great joy
8. Being productive tonight brought me great joy
9. Having the discipline to turn off the tv earlier than usual brought me great joy
10. Eating oysters brought me great joy
11. Checking the food stands gave me great joy
12. Walking down the street holding my wife's small and soft hand on a beautiful sunny day gave me GREAT joy
13. Going to Starbucks before my workout gave me great joy
14. Keeping the house clean gave me great joy
15. Being able to pay my bills gave me great joy :no


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## Renovation

Me. Hey

RR. Hey, how you doing?

Me. I'm feeling a bit stressed out

RR. Why?

Me. It feels like I have a million things to do. 

RR. What else?

Me. Well, I'm frustrated that HP has not responded to my email.

RR. Let's take these one at a time. Let's start with the first one. Please elaborate.

Me. Well, the FS project feels like it's all consuming and a little bit out of control.

RR. When is the next major deliverable due?

Me. I'd like to have a draft of the CPB and the agenda completed by the end of the week. I'd also like to get the PG done by then.

RR. Ok. So what do you need to do to make this happen?

Me. Here's a list:
1. Need to go through GR
2. Need to go through FR
3. Need to go through ID study
4. Need to review their doc
5. Need to review SP notes
6. Need to listen to presentation
7. Need to create a framework for SCP

RR. I'd start with the last one because then you'll have a better idea of what you need to complete and then it's just filling in the blanks.

Me. That's a good idea. I'll start there. I'll also send a note to hp and I won't get flustered. Too many good things going on.

RR. Come back later and let me know how you're progressing.

Me. Will do and thanks for the advice.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. I'm f'ing pissed!

RR. Why what's up?

Me. I just learned that we might get a very big deal.

RR. That sounds great. What are you so upset about?

Me. Well, EC is telling K she's going to be on the project without first speaking with me. That absolutely pisses me off!! I'm excited about the possibility of the deal, but feel like I'm being squeezed out. 

RR. Why do you say that?

Me. K told me EC wants her helping with the initial part of the project. And she says this will be "good for my career". She says that the account will want continuity. She's not a f'ing consultant. That just pisses me off. I'm being elbowed out. 

RR. I can see why you would be upset

Me. It's a strange feeling because on the one hand this is a big opportunity, but I'm pissed that they might have set the expectation that she's on the project.

RR. Okay. Let's calm down and not make too many assumptions. For one, you don't know that the expectation was set that she's going to be on the project. Second, having her do a couple of initial calls is not an issue, so long as you also work on the project. I would make the assumption that you WILL work on the project and that K can also be involved, so long as she understands that her main job is lead gen and sales.

Me. Maybe I am getting a bit ahead of myself.

RR. The impression I have is that EC is very reasonable, so, overall, this is fantastic news. So, I would shift my focus, calm down, and be grateful and excited about the great progress K is making. In fact, please give me five reasons why you should be more excited than ever about the business.

Me. Good question. There are actually a lot of reasons to be excited.

1. FS is going very well and I have good projected income coming from this
2. I have income coming in from the G and CS projects
3. Last I heard there's still an opportunity with DL
4. Also with TV
5. Also with LR
6. Also with IM
7. Also with W

RR. That's really good. You're doing better than ever. 

Me. Yeah, but my ego is getting in the way, plus I get anxious and fearful.

RR. What are you afraid about?

Me. That I'm going to be shoved aside on the I project.

RR. What else?

Me. That K will think I'm a loser compared to EC. That the call tomorrow with N will not go well. That it's chicken s*** compared to the ideal. That EC will suggest that K work on the project instead of me. That we might have a conflict in terms of how to work together. I'm also afraid that K is going behind my back and complaining to EC about me saying that her main job is to do LG. I'm also perturbed about having to put together the agreement for CD and about how much work I have to do on the FS project and that I'm in over my head.

RR. Wow. That's a lot that's bugging you. Let's look at a few of these from a CBT perspective.

Me. Ok

RR. Let's start with K thinks I'm a loser compared to EC. That's irrational. You're upset because she's upset that you told her that she doesn't get to work on that project to try extent maybe she was told she would be by EC. I would say that that is more her problem than yours. It's your company. She works for you. You're not saying she can't be involved in the project. In fact, say you're delighted she created the opportunity and that you absolutely want her to grow because it will only make her better at lead gen. So long as she understands her main responsibility is LG, then there's no issue. 

Me. Ok. That's very helpful. I'm delighted that EC thinks so highly of me and what I have accomplished that he wants to be part of the company.

RR. Right. It's actually that you can bring in somebody of his caliber into the company. That's extremely significant.

Me. You're right.

RR. Regarding your claim that your call with N tomorrow won't go well, that's extremely silly. You're extremely competent. You've proven that over and over again. Get fired up. Get into your power pose before your call with K. You'll do great. 

Me. Thanks for setting me straight.

RR. Frankly, you thinking that the N deal is chicken s*** is actually kind of funny. Can you imagine even a week ago being told that you have a very interested prospect that you would get upset about this?

Me. No. We're in such a better position than ever.

RR. Definitely. You're building some great momentum. Regarding that there might be a conflict with EC. I would say that also silly. You've established a great relationship with EC. He's a reasonable and good guy. It's very exciting to have him be involved with the company. I would listen to a video on inspiration to get you fired up.

Me. That's a good idea. There is a lot to be pumped up about.

RR. Finally, regarding CD. Tell him you're busy and won't be able to get to it by the EOW. No need to worry about this.

Me. Ok. Good stuff. In recap. It's time to compete and kick DG's and MG's asses. Time to compete!! I'm fired up! :clap


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. I'm admittedly upset about the way the I deal is going down, but rather than venting I'm going to approach the situation stoically.

RR. I like the sound of that. Tell me more.

Me. This is a situation where I need to keep my cool. I've written out some talking points for my conversation with K later this morning. The gist of it is that I support her development but that she needs to respect my role as her manager and CEO. 

RR. Sounds good. My advice is to error on the side of kindness. If she seems upset, talk it out so you don't let the issue dwell. 

Me. Ok. Will let you know how it goes.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. It turns out I got worked up about nothing. K was very gracious this morning. She's turning out to be a great hire and I'm enjoying working with her. She explained her concern about EC and once she understood he and I were already speaking, there was no issue. Frankly, a relief.

RR. That's good to know. Hopefully, this is a good lesson for you in terms of trusting K.

Me. Yes. Definitely. I also trust EC, but we need to come to an agreement on how quickly we respond to each other.

RR. Great. What else is up?

Me. I'm pissed that MG completely disregards my email about the potential new project. I feel like I made a very big contribution not just to the current projects we're working, but also to helping dramatically improve his business by developing and significantly improving his model and tools. Just pisses me off that he talks about a new opportunity and then doesn't bring me in.

RR. That's certainly his prerogative.

Me. It is and it just underlines why I need to bring in EC ASAP. Huge difference. EC has a very successful consulting practice that he wants to completely integrate with PB and truly build a company together. MG wants to work by himself. 

RR. What else? 

Me. Still feeling a bit tense about the amount of work still to do for FS and worried I won't do a good job during the workshop.

RR. Listen. You've done it before. You're extremely capable. What an exciting opportunity. Time to compete! Time to show all those other m**** f**** what you're capable of doing. Head held high. You can do it. Time to compete! Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Take great care of yourself. 

Me. Ok. Will do. You're right. It's time to compete and I can do it and I will do it! :boogie


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Hey

RR. How you doing?

Me. Good, I guess

RR. What do you mean?

Me. Well. I'm really tired. Went to bed late working on the project and woke up really early to work on the project. Feeling very disorganized. The house is a mess and I don't have a good handle on what I need to get done. Plus, I have a bunch of meetings today. Plus, I now have to pay G which I was expecting to have to do. His laptop broke, so I need to buy him a new one.

RR. What else?

Me. I'm pissed at MG for ignoring my email.

RR. Anything else?

Me. Those are the main things.

RR. Ok. Here's my advice.
1. Spend 12-24 minutes cleaning the house. You should be able to get most of what you need done by then.
2. Update your GP to highlight the three things you want to get done today and schedule time for working on these
3. Just pay the man. You now thank God have the money.
4. Prepare an invoice for FS which you will send on Monday. Include expenses.
5. Be kind and loving and respectful of MG the next time you interact :boogie


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Hey

RR. How's it going?

Me. Overall, had a good morning. Have a lot going on.

RR. Good, but...?

Me. Well. I'm tired and tense.

RR. Why tense?

Me. I feel like I have so much work to do for FS.

RR. Ok. I suggest you identify the next three things you need to do between now and Tuesday and schedule them. Do this right after our meeting.

Me. Ok.

RR. What else?

Me. I'm worried about the product.

RR. Why?

Me. I'm afraid it won't work for a large group.

RR. It looks like it's working fine to me. There are a couple of small issues, but overall looks fine.

Me. You're right. My sense is that because we're built on top of F that we should be able to scale. Everything is working as it should and you have a few issues identified.

RR. What else?

Me. Well. I'm afraid that given the complexity of LR's system that we might not be able to address their needs.

RR. You have a really smart F person in MM who can probably figure this out. It seems to me that it's a workable issue simply because MM has a lot of experience with these types of situations. If you can't do it, not likely your competition can either. 

Me. Yeah, fortunately MM is super savvy when it comes to F. Such a blessing to have him on the team.

RR. Feel better?

Me. Yes. Thanks! :idea


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Hey

RR. What's up?

Me. Had a pretty productive morning. Scheduled my activities for the next few days. Made good progresson the project. Went and got coffee at Starbucks. Got my haircut. Cleaned the kitchen. Bought vitamins. Quite productive. I'd say.

RR. Nice job. 

Me. I'm particularly proud of my initiative in terms of working on the project. I worked in 10 to 30 minute chunks and made better progress than I expected.

RR. That's great. So, what's up?

Me. Well. I haven't worked out in the last few days. I've been going to sleep really late because I'm so obsessed with the project that I end up working on it late at night and then I get up really early to work on it. So I'm too tired to go to the gym.

RR. No use beating yourself up over this.

Me. The other thing is that I've been eating a lot a night, which it know isn't good. I've put on a few more pounds than I would like and I know that eating so much and so late isn't good for my sleep. I feel like such an idiot because I should know better.

RR. Well. Today is a new day. You finally bought the vitamins that you wanted to buy, so you can start taking those. You can drink more water with lemon juice today. You can eat more greens today. You can take a nap. You can do a 30-minute home workout. That's all under your control.

Me. Yeah, I suppose so.

RR. Of course it is. You can do it. Make today a transformation day. Great opportunity to work on building those mental strength muscles. And have some fun today, for goodness sake. If your wife doesn't want to go out because she's not feeling well, you can still have fun. Go see a movie. Get some fresh air. Just get out of the house for goodness sake.

Me. Ok. Will do. Thanks! :um


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Hey

RR. Hey. What's up?

Me. Actually had a pretty good day. Got a lot done. Made tons of progress on the presentation. More than I expected. Haircut. Bought vitamins. Went to a movie. Dry cleaners. Went to grocery store and bought a nice dinner and wine for my wife and I. All told. Pretty good.

RR. That sounds good. What else is up?

Me. Well a little frustrated that I haven't heard back from EC. Also, continue to be pissed that MG just goes off on his own. 

RR. What else?

Me. Well frustrating having to deal with the mortgage issue and the unexpected expense with G. Plus now the kitchen faucet is leaking. Also looks like the car is leaking coolant.

RR. Kind of a drag, but fortunately, you now have the funds to pay for this.

Me. Yeah. It definitely feels good to get caught up on our bills.

RR. Here's my advice. The great news is that you have more income coming in. So my advice is to plan your invoices so that you get paid this month. I would definitely add this to your to do list for tomorrow.

Me. Good idea.

RR. I also suggest you go to bed early tonight, so you can get in a workout in the morning and go to Starbucks first thing, which is something you really enjoy. Then you can do a good strength workout. 

Me. Good idea.

RR. You can also then have a great day with the wife. Before church take the car in to add coolant. And after church you can read books about fitnes, nutrition and brain strengthening.

Me. Sounds good. Thanks! :sus


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## Renovation

WHAT I HOPE TO ACCOMPLISH TODAY

WORK
1. Make great progress on presentation talking points
2. Make great progress on presentation agenda
3. Make progress on agreement

FINANCIAL
1. Schedule invoice
2. Schedule bill pay
3. Pay car insurance

WELL-BEING / HAPPINESS
1. Workout
2. Deep breathing
3. No fruit or high starch carbs

SPIRITUAL
1. Read Bible
2. Pray
3. Compassion meditation


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Making good progress on my goals so far. Especially well being and work. Have been very productive in terms of the presentation. Have also been doing a good job of managing stress. Not that I'm not stressed. 

But, I'm making a point to eat healthy, drink lots of water. I even walked to the market for lunch and went to the salad bar. Killed a few birds with one stone. Got some fresh air, which I never do in the middle of the day. Got some exercise - there are hills. And ate a very healthy lunch. Also did some deep breathing exercises to and from the market.

Also trying to catch myself when it find myself getting agitated to slow down and do the deep breathing exercises.

There are things that are stressing me out.
1. EC not returning my email
2. K not returning my email
3. The amount of work required to complete the presentation
4. MG not returning my email
5. The email from M about iPad issue

RR. Here's my advice on how to address each one.

1. Regarding EC not returning email, my advice is to do what you have done. You have emailed him twice and then you reached out to K to reach out to him. This is all you can do. The likely outcome will be that you and he will speak this week. But let's also put this in perspective. There is no sense of urgency on speaking with Edwin from the perspective that there is no pending deal. You'll speak with K later today and can bring it up then. So no need to worry too much about this. Remember the serenity prayers - you've done everything you can to address this issue, so just have faith.

2. She just responded so not an issue. She'll definitely follow up with him.

3. You have the rest of the week to work on this. You're making very good progress. Let's see where we are at the end of the day. You might be needlessly worrying. The work you did over the weekend and this morning was quite good. You're definitely going to have to buckle down, but let's see how far you get tonight. The good news is that the framework is in place.

4. MG is a good guy. Don't worry about it. He's one of your best friends. Be grateful he brought you into these projects. 

5. The iPad issue is not a big deal. Don't worry about this.

Me. Ok. Good stuff.

RR. So, to give you some comfort, let's look at some things to be excited about.

1. The FS project is going great plus it means additional income
2. The G and CT projects also mean more income
3. DL is another opportunity that is looking very good
4. The N opportunity is a new one that can also close in the next 30 days
5. The LR and TV opportunities are also closable this quarter

So, you're in a situation that has the potential to go from good to great in very short order.

Me. This is very helpful. You're right. Ok. I'll check in later.

RR. Great.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

RR. What's up?

Me. I'm super frustrated?

RR. Why?

Me. I'm pissed that M was late to the call because his f'ing calendar wasn't working and that he then dropped off the call. Very awkward and unprofessional!

RR. What else?

Me. I'm frustrated that the guys on the call asked so many f'ing questions and there system is so f'ing complex. It's way more complicated than it needs to be.

RR. What else?

Me. I'm also frustrated that it's taking us so f'ing long to complete the f'ing DM capability?

RR. What else?

Me. I'm frustrated that the call with N is not yet set up after he said he was in such a hurry.

RR. What else?

Me. I'm frustrated the house is such a f'ing mess and that f'ing kitchen faucet is leaking and that the f'ing handyman we've used in the past is not responding.

RR. What else?

Me. I'm pissed that K makes so many f'ing excuses

RR. What else?

Me. I'm pissed that W thinks MG is the owner of my company

RR. What else?

Me. I'm pissed that the meeting with ECHO still hasn't been scheduled

RR. What else?

Me. I'm frustrated that I have so much work to do?

RR. Anything else?

Me. That's plenty

RR. Here's my advice

1. There is still a way to address their issue. Focus in the critical business problem they're trying to solve. Your product does this. While not ideal the "solution" might require the user to use your product with the other. This does not mean that you cannot still win the deal. As K said, no other competitor can address their issue either.

Me. Very good point. Thanks for helping me think through this.

RR. My advice in terms of everything else is that a) you're imagining a bunch of stuff, b) you're creating more issues than you need to, and c) you're completely dismissing all the good things that are going on.

Me. You're right. Especially, in terms of the last point. Thanks! Very helpful!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

RR. How's it going?

Me. Pretty good. I've been stressed about the amount of work and the time pressure of the projects I've been working on, but they are coming together nicely. 

RR. That's good. What else?

Me. The other consultant on the project pissed me off, which is actually a good thing.

RR. Why is that?

Me. Because it fires me up to own the room when I do the workshop next week. I'm not going to let her insecurities get in the way.

RR. That's a positive way to use the anger energy.

Me. She's miss f'ing miss goody two shoes. 

RR. Ok. Use that energy to fire you up. Fantastic!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to vent

RR. Go for it

Me. I'm so f'ing pissed off at MG. Who the f*** does he think he is? He has such a need to position himself as the main man. And in so doing to treat me like I'm his f'ing secretary. "I'd like you to scribe. That'd be great". Sounds like the f*** from Office Space. 

RR. Tell me more

He makes it a point to try to show that he's the superstar and that I'm his underling. But I won't let him. Because now I interrupt him to make my point. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to get in a word in edgewise. 

RR. Anything else?

Me. Asking me to make f'ing copies in front of the group is degrading. I can't help but feel that I want to clobber him with PB. And tell him I'm so busy that I don't have time. 

RR. There obviously is a lot of anger there.

Me. It's huge.

RR. Well the good news is that you're already coming into your own. You did a phenomenal job with FS, so there is no need to for you to feel inferior. My advice is that whenever you interact with him that you get in a strong posture and act as if you're one of the foremost industry experts on SE. In other words. Don't let his problem be your problem.

Me. Good advice. I just needed to get that off my chest. Thanks.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Ok, I'll start by stating that I want to get in a better mood, but, first, I need to vent.

RR. Go for it

Me. The client at FS is driving me nuts. She's putting all the pressure on me to deliver stuff within very unreasonable time frames. I worked practically all weekend on the document based on the original guidelines she originally gave me. 

RR. Go on. 

Me. Yesterday around 4 on a f'ing Sunday I get an email from her saying she needs the document early in the week. Plus she changed the original guidelines. This is a short week, which means she needs the document by Tuesday. I'm heading out on Wednesday.

RR. What else?

Me. It's all on me, but I'm also getting nagged by miss goody f'ing two shoes about getting the agenda done.

RR. What else?

Me. This project is taking way too much of my time relative to what I'm getting paid. Even the client said they're not paying me enough

RR. Expand

Me. Well, now I'm going to have a separate session with the people that did not attend the event. Plus, I'm going to have to have a separate session with the RPs to create a whole new section of the document. Plus, I'm the one who has to do the entire document. I'm really frustrated. If I were getting paid more, I'd feel better about it.

RR. Ok. You're obviously very frustrated, but I'm assuming that you don't want to be, correct?

Me. Of course not. BTW, I just got a text from K where she needs to go to urgent care, plus she lost her wallet. This girl is a walking disaster. So this means she's not going to get anything done this week, plus now I have to cancel the check and write a new one. 

RR. Wow. I can definitely understand why you would feel so stressed out. Get your anger out and then I'll give you some advice.

Me. Thanks. Definitely need to vent. I'm pissed at f'ing L for being miss goody f'ing two shoes and putting even more pressure on me. I'm pissed at R for being so f'ing scattered brained and then I have to pick up all the pieces. I'm pissed because L is making more money than I am and I'm doing the bulk of the work. I'm pissed at K for always having some sort of excuse for getting her job done. First, her internet went down. Then the electricity. Then the phone. Then one of her friends got sick. Now she's sick and lost her wallet. Un-be-f'ing-lievable! Enough already. Plus this is a short week. I'm frustrated, angry and stressed!! Plus, there are too many f'ing people at Starbucks!

RR. That last one is kind of funny. Okay, so what I'm hearing is that in large part you're feeling overwhelmed because you're managing a lot of different projects, people, and tasks. My advice is for you to plan your time. Set chunks of time and plan accordingly.

Me. I have to get out of here. Noise is driving me batty. Be back later.

RR. Okay


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

RR. What's up?

Me. I'm pissed

RR. Why?

Me. Because K is f'ing sick. It's always something with this woman. I'm frustrated that I'm paying her and that she's not working. I want to be sensitive to her situation, but, it's still a pain in the ***. It seems like it's always some sort of f'ing excuse. Make more calls! Just shut the f up and make more calls. I don't want to hear any f'ing excuses about you're too f'ing sick or you lost your f'ing wallet or one of your friends got sick or your internet is down or your building lost electricity. It's f'ing unbelievable! 

RR. Listen I understand your frustration, but there's not much you can do. She is legitimately sick. So it is what it is. My advice is that you just focus on what you can control and the very good things she's doing and the very good things that are going on with your business. Come back later and let's talk about this.

Me. Ok. Thanks for helping me put the situation with K in perspective.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. I'm f'ing pissed off

RR. Why?

Me. I'm pissed f'ing K has not responded. That's f'ed up! It just pisses me off that she's not doing squat right now. I don't give a crap if she's sick. For goodness sake, she should be taking better care of herself. 

RR. I understand your frustration at the idea that you have to pay her regardless of whether or not she's working and that she might be out for awhile. I understand that because you're paying her out of your own pocket that this is particularly sucky. Not a lot you can do other than turn your attention to positive stuff.

Me. I guess 

RR. Give me three business-related reasons why you should be happy and optimistic.

Me. Ok

1. FS said they're willing to pay me more - that's really cool
2. We have a legitimate new opp with N, which is also new money
3. DL is also an opportunity
4. Plus, I still have income due from the G and CT projects

RR. Okay, so here's my take. Take a deep breath because you don't have to worry about finances for the next several months at least until end of January and likely after. So you could take the attitude that things are great right now. You could start being super enthusiastic. You could start having a really positive attitude. You could be super grateful for what you have. You could commit to personal development and fitness like you haven't been able to do in a long time.

Me. You're right. I could take the attitude that today is the first day of my life. I could forgive myself for having over eaten the last few days. I could start taking better care of myself. I could start drinking more water. I could start going to bed earlier. I could better schedule my work so that I'm not so stressed out. I could clean the house so that I feel more at ease. I could go run my errands. I could sing. I could dance. I could laugh. I could listen to inspirational talks. I could read more about happiness. I could follow the brain fitness program. I could and I will! 

RR. Excellent!

Me. Thanks so much for helping me think this through! :clap


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

RR. How's it going?

Me. Not bad considering what a crappy start my day got off to.

RR. Explain

Me. Well, first off, I slept so so. I've been waking up in the middle of the night the last couple of nights. It's not like I often get a solid nights sleep, but last couple of nights my dreams have been a bit stressful and I've woken up about 330am both nights. Fortunately, I've been able to fall back asleep but I wake up tired. 

RR. Why do you think that is?

Me. It's a combination of issues. First, I have a lot on my plate, so I stress out about being able to get everything I want to get done within the clients required timeframes. I have been having to work evenings and weekends just to keep up. This week I'm traveling, so I need to get a new project out of the way before I head out.

RR. What else?

Me. Well. I also stress out about our product not yet being completely ready. And I'm pissed at myself for having forgotten about the meeting with HP last night. I have so much on my mind that I completely forgot even though I had written it down. The fact I'm flying out on Monday also limits when I can speak with him.

RR. What else?

Me. I also stressed about how much time it took me to figure out and book travel. This is why I forgot to call HP. I got so caught up in scheduling and making travel arrangements that I lost track. Plus I got stressed out because I couldn't figure out a way to rejigger my schedule so I could keep the meetings I booked. I'll be able to keep them but won't be able to meet in person with EC.

RR. Anything else?

Me. Yeah, finances. Even though things are getting much better, it's still nerve wracking for me to worry about paying K plus the mortgage.

RR. Well, the very good news here is that you are getting paid and you will continue to get paid. Plus, there seem to be a lot of good upside opportunities.

Me. Yes. This is true. It's just a timing issue, but, yes, overall, our financial situation is a lot better. 

RR. Anything else?

Me. Well, today got off to a really crappy start. I didn't get in as good of a workout as I would have liked. Plus, I'm kind of bummed that I weighed in at over 180 pounds. This is the most I have weighed in about the last two years. I feel like a slob with a big gut. I'm pissed at myself for not having the discipline to watch what I ate these last few weeks. I allowed myself to eat a bunch of carbs even though I know that I always put on weight when I eat so many carbs.

RR. Okay, so definitely a lot on your mind. Let's see if I can help reframe some of your thinking and get you in a better mood.

Me. Ok

RR. First of all, you made very good progress on the SF project today. I think that dedicating two more hours tomorrow, should get you to the finish line or very close to it. I think it's reasonable to expect to finish by tomorrow. Won't that feel great?

Me. Yes. Definitely. 

RR. You can also dedicate 30 minutes to reviewing the CG and writing down some notes about changes you want to make. And you can start to pencil out your note to the attendees with an eye towards sending out the email on Tuesday. So, you'll have two key parts of the project completed, which will be a huge relief. SO THIS MEANS YOU WILL HAVE THE SF AND CG PIECES OUT OF THE WAY. THEN YOU CAN TURN YOUR ATTENTION TO THE CPB AND THE PRESENTATION.

Me. Yep. It feels like this week is shot. 

RR. Well this means that you just need to make sure you optimize your time. Work in 20 minute chunks. If you don't meet with EC on Monday in person you free up about three hours. You can get a lot done in three hours. I would work on the presentation and back into the CPB.

Me. Okay. I'll give that a shot.

RR. Don't give up. Be a fighter. You've done it before and you'll do it again. Keep after it. And push yourself to get outside of your comfort zone by getting out of the house even if you're feeling not 100%. Do stuff you enjoy.

Me. Ok. I really appreciate the coaching and the pats on the back and kick in the pants. I'm going to go run a few errands.

RR. There you go! :mum


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

RR. How's it going?

Me. Pretty good, but there's some stuff I need to get off my chest.

RR. Have at it.

Me. I'm pissed that f'ing M is so f'ing egotistical, selfish and arrogant that he's not shared any of his work with me. He just wants to be the f'ing hero and have me be his lackey. He's on such a power trip.

RR. A few questions. Is there a good side to this?

Me. Well, yes. On a very practical level, not having to do any prep for those projects frees me up to work on my other projects. Plus, I'm getting paid nicely for part-time work even if M is getting paid more than twice what I'm making. 

RR. That's a very good deal from my perspective. I know that it bothers you that he wants center stage and is not willing to share, but you're in a very different place today emotionally, financially, and professionally. My advice is that you walk into that meeting like you own the place. Walk in with a mindset of high energy, confidence, and kindness. If he is playing a head game with you, even unconsciously (I don't think he is doing it overtly, but his ego is definitely causing him to do so), then the best response is to act as if you own the place, as if you are expert and highly competent on the topic.

Me. Okay. That's very good advice. Thanks for helping me think through this.

RR. What else?

Me. I'm pissed at K.

RR. Why?

Me. I don't feel she's doing a great job in terms of her primary responsibility, which is to create new opportunities. She's also not doing a very good job of using the system to keep me up to date. Plus, she was out sick all last week, which means she didn't get squat done. And I'm paying her out of my own pocket.

RR. Let me ask you a simple question. Is she doing anything right?

Me. Yes. She does a very good job of making a great first impression with a new prospect who has agreed to a meeting. This is very valuable. And as a result of this we have about 3-6 new opportunities. The trouble is I'm not sure which opportunities are truly closable.

RR. Kind of odd you would say this given that is your area of focus and expertise. 

Me. The problem is that she is not keeping the system up to date, so can't take advantage of the system's full capabilities.

RR. I would definitely talk to her about this if I were you. Make it clear that it's her responsibility to update the system after any meaningful interaction and that by not doing so she is limiting your ability to highlight this critical aspect of your solution.

Me. Good advice.

RR. Spend 12 minutes in the system today. Write down your questions either in the system or in email and then send and/or discuss these with her the next time you speak. Also use those 12 minutes to pay her. Just do it and get this out of your system. Then take some sort of a break to replace whatever negative energy that results from this activity with positive energy.

Me. Thanks. Good idea.

RR. What else?

Me. Well, I'm a bit flustered because I feel like I have zero free time and a lot of work to get done in a short amount of time, especially this week.

RR. Seems like you're making good progress with the FS SF project. Work on it for 60 minutes and see how far you get. I bet you'll get a lot done. 

Me. Ok

RR. And dedicate an hour more to the N presentation. You should get pretty far with that as well.

Me. That makes sense.

RR. When you're done with that, what's left to do?

Me. Write an invoice. Create a new proposal. Work on CG. Update the SPB and send to R.

RR. Do that tomorrow. You can even get some of this done on the plane, if necessary.

Me. True

RR. Listen. I know it's a lot of work, but thank God for that! You need to roll up your sleeves and just get after it. It's time to compete! It's time to outwork every ****** ****er out there. This is how you compete. 

Me. Got it. Thanks for the kick in the behind! :sus


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to vent

RR. Go for it

Me. I'm frustrated that f'ing EC didn't respond to my email. I know he's not doing it to diss me, but no good reason why he shouldn't at least respond. 

RR. What else?

Me. Have a lot on my plate and not a lot of time to get stuff done. This week is pretty much shot.

RR. What do you need to get done?

Me. Finish the SPB. Need to review the CG. Make changes. Write a note for R.

RR. You should be able to get most of this done on the plane. What else?

Me. Need to prep the invoice. Create a new proposal. Work on expense report. And need to start working on big presentation. Also need to review the docs that MG is sending over later. Also, want to add the calculator to N deck

RR. I think you should be able to get most of this done except the big deck by end of day tomorrow. Then you free yourself up to work on the big presentation.

Me. Phew. That's doable. Thanks for helping me think this through. Have to run!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to unload

RR. Let's hear it

Me. A bit stressed right now

RR. Why?

Me. Have a lot on my plate, but feeling a bit directionless

RR. Explain

Me. Well. I got all my stuff done for FS that was due. So that's a big relief.

RR. That's good, isn't it?

Me. Yeah, but I now need to turn my attention to finishing the pbs and prepping for the big presentation. There's going to be a lot of work involved but I haven't fully planned how I'm going to approach it.

RR. Let's chunk it down. What are the next three actions you need to take.

Me. Ok, let me list them.
1. Start working on the presentation deck
2. Review similar decks
3. Start working on the conversation pb

RR. When will you start this?

Me. Tomorrow morning before my call with MM. I will make it my main priority tomorrow.

RR. What else is nagging at you?

Me. Having to justify my proposal

RR. What are your thoughts on this?

Me. For one, I didn't realize that I was going to take on such a prominent role in the SKO. The BB presentation was a 2- hour slot. This is a SIGNIFICANTLY bigger project. This in and of itself is enough to justify the extra charge

RR. That makes a lot of sense. What else?

Me. I didn't anticipate the level of complexity associated with this project. The number of people & departments involved plus the inherent level of detail necessary of doing both a process/leadership project and a messaging project significantly increases the content and required time commitment. 

RR. Makes sense so far. What else?

Me. Well. R also indicated that the amount of work I have done has been amazing. 

RR. What new work if any will you be doing?

Me. Again putting together all the material and doing the work to prep the RVS is very significant. It's at least 3x the amount of work. If you thought the workshop was a lot of work, imagine how much work will be required for the SKO.

RR. What else?

Me. The number of revisions between now and then will be significant. Plus, spending a full week at the SKO is 40 hours right there. Makes sense because we will continue to work together afterwards. So important to build relationship.

RR. Okay sounds like you now have a well thought out approach to your conversation.

Me. Yeah. I feel better. Thanks.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

RR. What's up?

Me. Wanted to start a new stream to deal with the G project.

RR. Ok. Let's hear what's on your mind

Me. I'm frustrated that I don't have the files. Was planning on working on this all day. 

RR. I can see why this would be frustrating. What else?

Me. I'm pissed the M hasn't responded to my email or text. That's FDA up!

RR. Why?

Me. I want to get this project done and I hate being under his control. I don't like having to ask him for stuff or depend on him. That's FDA up!

RR. Well, to be fair, you didn't respond to the email he sent yesterday morning until today.

Me. That's true.

RR. Using your same logic, he would also have a "right" to be extremely pissed at you.

Me. I suppose

RR. Don't worry about it. Go home. Get your phone recharger and go back to SBS and keep working. It's good to be out of the house. 

Me. Definitely. I'm really enjoying having this independence.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. There are a few things that I need help thinking through

RR. Let's hear it

Me. First, I'm frustrated that I haven't heard back from M all day. Pisses me off. Also, I'm pissed about not having the right content. Really pisses me off. So now I'm left wondering whether or not M has the content. He might be traveling and might have left the flash drives at home. 

RR. You have to believe that he has the flash drive and if the content was saved it would be on the flash drives. So let's assume that for now. If it's not, it's because they didn't save their work. But, it must be, so assume that for now. Also assume that you'll get the content tomorrow and that you'll have time to get the process completed by tomorrow as scheduled.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Still need to work through a few things

RR. Okay. Go for it.

Me. Things are definitely looking up. The FS project is going very well.

RR. So what are you nervous about?

Me. Well. While the call with R went well, it's not definite.

RR. Your approach is reasonable. The workshop did replace the other deliverables. It is accurate that the initial plan did not include you doing all of the presentation.

Me. Yeah, I guess you're right

RR. Yeah, so let's assume the best for a change.

Me. Ok

RR. So this is going to be very nice income over the next few months, plus the upside associated with a continuation of the FS project. Point being that as soon as you get paid for the various projects that you're due to get paid for this month, you'll actually be in very good shape financially.

Me. This will be a huge relief.

RR. You bet it will. So here's my advice. Pay the mortgage as soon as you get paid for one of the K projects. Pay K. Pay MC. Just get this off your plate. Will feel a lot better.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Feeling stressed out.

RR. Let's hear it. Don't filter it. Just get it all out.

Me. Just feels like I have a ton on my plate and little time to do it. I'm stressed about the meeting with FS. Don't want any more work to come from this. I'm stressed that we missed part of the document input for G and that I don't know if M has looked at all of the flash drives. Really frustrates me. Don't like to let this kind of stuff hanging. I hate doing shoddy work even it's not my fault. I'm also stressed out about the product not being ready yet. I'm stressed that I'm in meetings all day and don't have much time to work on any of the projects. I'm stressed that I have to pay MC and K and the mortgage and that I haven't received payment for the K projects. I hate that I have to depend on f'ing M to find out the status and that he hasn't gotten back to me. That really pisses me off. He should be taking care of this. Overall feeling overwhelmed. Plus the wife was not in a very cheery mood today, which doesn't help matters. Plus pissed that EC is so hard to get a hold off and that he didn't write his thing like I asked him to. Plus, I'm feeling stressed that I have to get all this personal stuff done and I really don't have any time.

RR. Ok, so your stressed out for a bunch of reasons. Multiple ways to attack the problem. First, do deep breathing and stretching exercises. Do the rub and shake exercise. Drink lots of water today. More than you would normally drink. No more coffee today. Take magnesium and your other vitamins. Eat a big salad for lunch. After the CT meeting to the cafe and get a big salad. That will be a nice treat and will get you out of the house.

Me. Okay. That makes sense.

RR. Don't mess up the kitchen. If you eat out, you can keep it clean. Let's stay practical for a second and take of your financial concerns. Let's just do some quick math. Paying MC and K will be ___. You have __ in your business account, so you can easily do this. You're going to be late on the mortgage payment, but will pay it as soon as you get your next payment. You're coming into a good period where you will making a decent income, so I would stop worrying about finances. Take care of MC and K and pay your health insurance, so you get these nagging issues out of your mind. Your wasting too much mental energy on this. Now that you just landed the second wave of the new project plus you have the majority of payments due from the other projects, including F. So you're actually in good shape. Write the checks for MC and K today. Do it this afternoon.

Me. Okay. Thanks for helping me think this through because it was nagging at me. I'll take care of it this afternoon.

RR. Great. Here's my advice on what to do the rest of the day. You have three meetings, so from a business perspective you certainly shouldn't be feeling guilty that you're being lazy or not getting work done, in case, you are.

Me. Maybe a little bit. I hate to waste time.

RR. Here's what I would do. Your last meeting ends at 4 and you have a social engagement at 7. So you have three hours, which is a lot of time. I would use this time to run your personal errands: go to the dry cleaners, schedule your haircut, pick up your prescription.

Me. Oops. I just realized that the social event is tomorrow.

RR. Good that takes some of the pressure off. My advice however is to use your time after the meeting that ends at 4 to run these errands, including getting the food for the event. This way you don't have this pressure tomorrow.

Me. Okay.


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## Renovation

RR. Let's continue. Take out the garbage. Prep your gym bag for tomorrow. Etc.

Me. Okay. Have to run to a meeting. Thanks for helping me think through this.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Super frustrated 

RR. What's going on?

Me. We're without power. Spotty cell phone coverage. Poor internet connection. Can't get the car out of the garage because garage door won't open due to power outage. I have a number of meetings scheduled. I wanted to get started working on the presentation. I'm stuck and feel like an f'ing loser.

RR. Woah. Let's not get carried away. I can understand why you would be frustrated but why would you call yourself a loser? I don't see the connection.

Me. I feel like somehow I should figure this out but since I'm having a tough time doing so I feel like a loser. I have nothing to do. I can't access the documents I need to work on, which I need for one of my calls this afternoon. I feel like such an idiot because I didn't put this file on my laptop.

RR. How were you supposed to know that this was going to happen?

Me. I'll be back later.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. I'm so f'ing pissed off!

RR. Why?

Me. Lots of reasons. First off, I'm pissed at f'ing K for doing such a thoroughly crappy presentation. It was beyond bad. She had no f'ing clue. She should have had this nailed down by now. She's been trained, has seen me do the presentation a hundred times, and has all the tools she needs at her disposal. She also talks way f'ing too much and has no f'ing clue what's she's saying. Now I have to f'ing train her again. This is going to take me a ton of time to do, which I do not have. After six months on the job, she should be a lot farther along. I have to admit that I have a bad perception of millenials. I think they're self absorbed and self entitled and think they're a lot smarter than they are because everyone has been telling them how great they are their entire life even if they came in last place. I think K is a hard worker, but she is no where near as smart as she thinks she is. She does want to learn, but, regardless, she is nowhere near where she needs to be.

RR. Okay. Here's my perspective. She's the best you can do, given your financial condition and she's a hard worker and coachable. Plus, you can trust her to work hard without a lot of supervision. She has good values and overall is a good person. While disappointing, you're just going to have to continue to give her the tools and training she needs to be successful. You have very high standards, which you should maintain, so don't settle, but don't get unnecessarily bent out of shape about this. Given the circumstances, she's a gem.

Me. Okay. Thanks. I just needed to vent about this.

RR. What else?

Me. What really got me in a ****ty mood today was not being able to get a hold of Anthem to pay my health insurance bill. Those f**** are not open on weekends. I hate health insurance providers to start with and their web site sucks. They have zero concept of customer service. But my biggest fear and issue is that I delayed making payment and am afraid that my policy might have been cancelled. So, I'm pissed about this and then I start getting pissed off about my financial situation. 

RR. Go on

Me. Well I'm due all this money and f'ing M hasn't told me when we're due to get paid. That's so fed up. If I had gotten paid in a timely manner I wouldn't be feeling this stress and I could have all my bills paid by now. I'm so f'ing pissed off that M has not responded to my emails asking when we're due to get paid. That's just totally fed up!!!!!!!

RR. Okay here is what you need to do. Check your balance. Pay K. You paid the phone bill today, so that's a relief. You paid MC, so that's a relief. You paid for the trip to B, so that's a relief.

Me. True

RR. I know you hate postponing paying your mortgage, but you're going to have to until you get paid. Pay as soon as you get paid by F. That's the best you can do. Think of it this way. You just moved the due date to December 27. You pay a small fee for this, but now you have the relief of not having to worry until then. New due date: 12/27. You'll DEFINITELY get paid by then. DEFINITELY.

Me. That's true. At a minimum, I'll have gotten paid by F by then. 

RR. So, in terms of health insurance, all you can do is wait until Monday and see if you can make a payment, even two payments then. 

Me. Okay, that's really helped.

RR. What else?

Me. Well I'm also pissed that f'ing E hasn't responded to my email. That's fed up. It always takes forever to get a response from him. 

RR. But, he always does get back to you.

Me. That's true.

RR. Listen there are good things on the horizon. I know it's a little tough right now, but NO WHERE near as tough as it has been in the past. It's time to pour it on! Do not give up! Do not let up! Hold your head high! Play second fiddle to no one! Act as if things are fabulous! Act as if you own the place! Walk as if you're the former CF for UCLA. Get your *** in the gym. Quit f'ing eating late at night. Get after it! Eat healthy. Drink lots of water. And, quit f'ing complaining so much!

Me. Huh?

RR. Quit f'ing complaining so much. You heard me right. It's time for a little tough love. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and *****ing and moaning every ten minutes. You have so much to be grateful for. Quit being a f'ing *****! Get tough! You don't need to be Mr. Enthusiasm, but you do need to be the Gladiator. Tough as nails. All this *****ing and moaning is costing you energy. Is f'ing with your sleep. Is keeping you out of the gym. Quit being such a f'ing *****.

Me. I hate to say this, but, I think this is exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks.

RR. Get tough! Stand tall! Walk with a purpose! Own it! Second to none! And guess what? You're going to have to be be super f'ing disciplined. There are no two ways about this. Time to compete!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to vent

RR. Go for it. Get it off your chest. Don't filter. Just vent.

Me. F'ing M has not gotten back to me about K. That's fed up. I'm sick and f'ing tired of him not getting back to me in a timely manner. I'm also pissed that he quoted that we don't charge for the setup. That's absolutely fed up! It's so much work to do it. I'm so pissed about this.

RR. What else?

Me. I have so much to get done.

RR. Listen. Here's my advice. Go get a cup of coffee or buy a snack. But you have to get back to the project. Hopefully this helped get the issues that we're top of mind off your chest, but you really have to get to work.

Me. Okay. It was helpful to at least get some stuff out of my system. Thanks. :mum


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to vent

RR. Go for it

Me. Shout the f up, Lisa! I'm sick and tired of your stupid *** comments and acting all I'm the industry expert. This is bull****! 

RR. That it?

Me. No. She just gets on my nerves. She's such an f'ing goody two shoes. Plus she's trying for me to save her ***. It's BS that she wants me to fix her f'ing document. 

RR. Here's my advice. You made your point. Plus, she basically ended up saying that what you were suggesting was right without knowing she was doing that. So, hopefully, venting helped. Push off this negative energy. Not helpful to harbor negativity and anger. Shake it off. Be the coolest one in the room. Start getting to the mindset that you are cool, calm, and collected. 

Me. Okay. That's helpful. Thanks. :um


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

It only takes one deal to propel us into the next level. We just need to close one deal to keep us going. From that perspective we have a good pipeline. It doesn't mean I take K off the hook, but I also shouldn't panic. :no


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. I want to get in a better mood

RR. Ok. So write out a few reasons why you should feel good

Me. Ok

1. The product issues are all solvable - frustrating they're happening, but the issues are solvable. Maybe can't get fixed over night. But they're solvable.

2. The LR deal is looking very likely. This is awesome news because it means we will have beaten a key competitor. Plus, it's incremental income, which will be fantastic.

3. I believe we can make the N deal work. That will also be fantastic because it's even more income. That will feel really great.

4. Still have the opp with SF. Which will also be great.

5. Plus have the opp at W. Which is also great.

6. Plus have the opp with TV. Which will also be great.

7. Plus I have nice income coming in this month from the various projects a

8. Also have income coming in from other projects in January which is also great

9. We're caught up with mortgage payment and health insurance, so that's a big relief. And have enough funds to pay K in December.

10. Plus, have continued income opportunity from FS after January, which is fantastic

RR. Wow. That's really good.

Me. Yeah. For the first time in a very long time our financial situation is positive. I'm so not used to this that it's hard for me to get too excited, but if I look at it in the cold light of day, things are really looking good. 

RR. Here's my advice. Go grocery shopping and buy yourself a little treat to celebrate. Don't go hog wild, but buy yourself a little goodie. 

Me. Okay. Thanks. This was definitely helpful.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. It's been awhile since we've spoken. Have a bunch of stuff to get off my chest.

RR. Let's hear it

Me. I'm pissed that f'ing K is being so disrespectful. It's BS the way she signs her emails.

RR. Seems pretty trivial. What's the real issue?

Me. I'm nervous about our closing business and I'm pissed that we don't have any signed deals.

RR. I can think of three deals that are looking good. DL, WK, FS, TV. It appears that you're finally at a point where you will be closing deals.

Me. I suppose, but it sure would be good to know these are definitely going to happen. But the pipeline is looking good. It's as strong as it has ever been.

RR. What else?

Me. I'm nervous about the product working and that BB might be upset. 

RR. You have no choice but to trust HP. He's been sick, so know that he's on the case and he's come through every single time. I would review the list of issues in Evernote and you'll be speaking with him in a couple of days. He's come through every single time.

Me. Okay, but it will be good to see the product working with all of the issues resolved.

RR. What else?

Me. Well, FS is a big deal. Lots of work still to do with not a lot of time.

RR. Seems to me like you're a lot closer than you think. Let's walk through it.

1. The SPPB is completed
2. The SKOD is for all intents and purposes complete
3. You have the content for the CPB

Still to do:
1. Add a few slides to SKOD - today
2. Review SKOD slides - today
3. Review SKOD notes - today
4. Work on CPB - today
5. Work on Day 2 of SKO - tomorrow on plane
6. Work on notepad - tomorrow on plane

Me. Okay this helps

RR. Think of it this way. You'll have all the deliverables done by Monday, which means you'll have all day Monday, Tuesday to review. You'll also have all day Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday to review. So you have time. Plus you KNOW your material and the material rocks. Time to compete! Stand tall. Second to none. Take crap from no one. Second to none!

Me. Thanks. Time to get after it! :boogie


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Lots on my mind. I just need to vent.

RR. Go for it

Me. I'm pissed that P got let go. That's fed up for him and me. I'm pissed that W took so f'ing long to get back to him. That's way fed up. I'm pissed that we have to redo the f'ing pb. They should have had their **** done by now! I'm pissed that I don't know how K is doing. I'm pissed I haven't heard back from E. I'm pissed that MG is doing his own thing. I'm pissed that we're still not f'ing done with the m product. I'm pissed that H is still working on the f'ing product. I'm pissed we haven't heard back from some of our prospects. I'm pissed that R asked me to just look at the emails. I need her f'ing help. I'm pissed that I have so much work to do and not a lot do time to do it.

RR. Wow, you're pissed. Let me tackle a few of these to try to give you a different perspective.

Me. Okay

RR. First of all, thank God that you have money coming in. You have two big checks from FS due, one which you can probably invoice next week. You have checks from the K project that should be coming in any moment if they haven't done so already. That's a big deal.

Me. Yes. Thank God for that!

RR. Regarding the product, you have no choice but to trust HP. He has come through for you thus far and is on the case. It seems like all of the issues are fixable. Same with the work G is doing. In terms of P, it is what it is. If they can't connect, then go with MM. That's all you can do.

Me. Okay.

RR. Regarding K, think positive! Same with E. Keep after it. You're closer than ever. Keep after it.

Me. Okay. This was helpful to at least get some stuff off my chest. Thanks!


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## Renovation

Me. I'm f'ing pissed off!

RR. Why?

Me. Because everything is fed up!

RR. What do you mean?

Me. Nothing is going right. 

RR. What do you mean?

Me. Well, it's fed that E is never f'ing available and that I'm having to do all the f'ing work. That's fed up!

RR. Okay

Me. It's also fed up that I'm splitting my fee with him and I'm going to do all the work

RR. Is there another way to look at this

Me. I guess. Of course there is, but it's still fed up. Nothing is going my way. I'm a f'ing loser.

RR. Do you think the client thinks this?

Me. No

RR. Do you think E thinks this?

Me. No

RR. Do you think K thinks this?

Me. No

RR. Okay 

Me. I'm just tired

RR. It's okay if you rest. This won't make you a bad person. Doesn't make you a loser. Doesn't mean your lazy. Just means you need to get a little rest and take care of yourself is all

Me. Okay. I'll close my eyes for a bit. That would probably feel really good

RR. Good. Come back later.

Me. Okay. Will do. Thanks.


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## Renovation

CHECKING IN

Me. I'm f'ing pissed off. I'm sick and f'ing tired of E being so f'ing unavailable. I'm sick and f'ing tired of working around his f'ing schedule. He's got some f'ing excuse every f'ing time. Tonight we said 630. I say okay. Text him and he gets back to me around 645 that he's about to start dinner. How about 8? He asks. I say that works. Call him at 8. Goes to voicemail. Calls me at 845 and says he's taking his son to practice and can we talk about 9? I can't. $&@!!. I tired of chasing him around.

RR. Focus on what you want to achieve and ask yourself the best way to achieve this. So what do you want to achieve?

Me. I want him to introduce us into at least a couple of opportunities. I want him to come up with some ideas on how to grow the business. I want his help with FS during the meeting with VPs. 

RR. Do you think it will help to express disappointment? 

Me. Not really.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Super frustrated!

RR. Why?

Me. F'ing K makes a big f'ing deal about the meeting with LC and then does not send me the f'ing email so I can understand what the f is going on. She says all this gibberish and then I have no f'ing clue what the f she is talking about.

RR. What else?

Me. Frankly, it's frustrating to have to get on the phone with M and L and have to tell them the product is not ready and to have to hear how stuff is not working. I try to put a good face on it, but it is painful.

RR. Let me pipe in here if I may and point out that as painful as this is, it is definitely for the better because it is allowing you to fix issues and in essence finish developing a workable product. For instance, as a result of this, you fixed the scoring system. It is now set correctly. So a lot of the bigger issues like the filtering and the duplication issues have been fixed which means that this hugely important part of the product which had not previously been tested, has now been tested and is working correctly. That is huge.

Me. That's true.

RR. Plus, H and G are making great progress and you're moving more of the load to S, which is also great. You have to admit that it is a huge blessing to have them and the great work they have done.

Me. That's true

RR. What else!

Me. R is driving me batty. She is so f'ing needy.

RR. Listen. My advice is that you profusely thank God for R and that you take the attitude that your main responsibility is to make her look good. She is a great gal and you are very, very fortunate to know her.

Me. This is true. Thanks for setting me straight.

RR. What else?

Me. When I was at the cafe yesterday I overhead some young guys talking about how one of them was going to raise a lot of money from investors and it made me feel like a loser.

RR. Why?

Me. Because they're able to do it and I'm not.

RR. Here's my advice. First of all, no need to label yourself a loser. 

Me. But I feel like one.

RR. Well let me give you some tough love and zero empathy. Get over it! Quit whining and get to work. I'm not going to try to prop you up. Just get to f'ing work and stop *****ing and moaning. Enough already. Man up. Get on the phone with E and tackle the issues straight on with confidence, calmness, and conviction. Get to it!

Me. Okay. You're right. That is the best answer. Thanks!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Just want to get some $&@! off my chest.

RR. Go for it

Me. I'm really sad today. Really sad. I'm physically tired. Feeling a lot of pressure. Disappointed about the people I'm working with. Not at all reliable. Pissed at M. He has really isolated himself. I've tried reaching out a few times and nothing back. I'm pissed that f'ing E is so f'ing hard to get a hold of. Super frustrating. 

RR. Keep going

Me. Just really down

RR. What do you think you could do to feel better?

Me. Maybe run some errands like pick up my dry cleaning and buy paper bowls plus a water filter. Cleaning the kitchen also helps. Maybe buying a bottle of water would help. 

RR. That's good. What about work wise?

Me. I could spend two sessions of 24 minutes on FS. 

RR. Anything else?

Me. I'm hoping to go to bed early tonight. I think that will help.

RR. Do you want to feel better?

Me. Yes

RR. Do you think you could feel better?

Me. Possibly

RR. Here's my advice. Do your squat workout. Put away the dishes. Go to the fry cleaners. Buy the paper bowls and water filter.

Me. Okay

RR. Also, do something silly. Walk silly. Use a little bit if your great sense of humor to get your mind right. I know you're feeling down and mentally and physically tired, but there are some very good things going on. 

Me. Okay

RR. Practice walking like you're really peppered up. Walk like Denzel. Become the fighter that you are. Don't take ****. It's okay to be down now and then. What you are doing is incredibly challenging. I mean incredibly. It takes a certain degree of mental toughness to deal with this. You're going to feel beat up every now and then or even regularly, but it takes a very special person to be able to do what you do. Persevere. Complete. Get stronger. Act with force and enthusiasm. Do not back down. 

Me. Thank you! Very helpful!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. I'm so ****ing pissed off that f'ing hp did not fix the m f'ing issues he was supposed to fix. Now I'm completely fed. I appreciate his effort but for goodness f'ing sakes why in the f didn't he fix those f'ing issues.

I'm having such a f'ing ****ty day. It's just one f'ing thing after another. I feel like such an f'ing loser. I'm tired. Beat up. Embarrassed. My f'ing computer is acting up. It's all fed up. The system is f'ing slow or not responding. I f'ing hate Microsoft. Yep. I do. So f'ing unreliable. I'm sick and f'ing tired of seeing an f'ing "not responding" message and the f'ing swirling bull**** thing.


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## Renovation

CHECKING IN

Me. I'm a mess today and need help.

R. Okay. Let's hear it.

Me. Well the big issue is that hp didn't fix the stuff he was supposed to fix and now L and M at BB are all pissed off at me.

R. Okay

Me. And I'm really tired. Not been getting a lot of sleep.

R. Here's my advice. Rest. Put on some relaxing music. Turn off the phone and computer. Put on your eye shades and just rest. Imagine a beautiful relaxing setting and take a little vacation. That's my advice. Get some rest.

Me. Okay. Will do. Thanks.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Lots on my mind

R. Let's hear it

Me. Just had surgery which was a pain because I felt drained emotionally, mentally and physically

R. Ok. Get whatever you have in your system out of your system. What are you frustrated or angry about?

Me. Here's a list

I'm pissed that:
1. It's taking so f'ing long to finish the f'ing product
2. All I hear from B is what's not working like yesterday and that wasn't our fault
3. M acts like he's so f'ing superior
4. E is just showing up and not contributng to grow the business
5. I don't know what the f K is doing
6. I still have work to do to get the deck finished - all on me
7. I want to spend time on BD but don't have the time
8. I was so tired

R. That's good to get this stuff off your chest. What some advice?

Me. Sure

R.Name five things that are going well

Me. Okay

1. We fixed most of the issues with the product and are working on fixing the other issue. That's huge because now I can have a high level of confidence that the product will work well in any environment

2. We are coming out with new capabilities which will make the product even better. These will be very significant.

3. Having a m product could be a game changer. Imagine how great it will be to able to check up on K just by looking at phone. That will be great.

4. The work I have done for FS is now a new service offering which we can repurpose. That's huge.

5. The great news is that I have steady income coming in as a function of a number of projects including FS.

R. How many total projects will you be working on during the next three months?

Me. Let's see. FS. AN. BG. EF. CT.

R. Wow. Five projects. That's great.

Me. It is. It really is. That takes a huge burden off my shoulders. I'm grateful for this. This was a great exercise. Really helped me put things in perspective. Thank you, again!

R. You got it. Have a great day!

Me. Thanks. I will! :clap


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Lots on my mind. Need to vent and put things in perspective.

R. Go for it.

Me. I'm really tired. Went to bed late the last few nights and woke up early. Plus I had four surgeries, which probably also negatively impacts my energy level.

R. Of course. That's only natural.

Me. Yeah but I still feel like a loser. I should be getting a lot more done. I'm a lazy f***. I should have a lot more drive and not feel so stressed and tired.

R. I think you know by now that, first, this is distorted thinking and, second, that there is no value to this thought pattern.

Me. I suppose

R. Play with me for a second. Look back over last week and pretend that you are a friend of yours that saw the work you did. This is a kind friend who is generous with their praise but genuine. In other words, they won't say something positive unless they really mean it. Let's ask this friend whom we will nickname C what they thought about what you accomplished.

C. Hey guys. Well first of all the presentation you created was outstanding. The quality of the material truly was first class. I've seen the work of other people in your field who are considered (or consider themselves) rock stars and their work pales in comparison to yours. I'm not just saying that. Put your work side by side with theirs and there is no comparison. So I would feel very good about that if I were you. Very good. 

Me. Thanks

C. Not only was the material excellent, but you also did a great job of managing the meeting. You knew your material. Were well prepared. Really demonstrated expertise around the topic. And came across as confident, competent and engaging. Again, excellent job!

Me. Gee. Thanks.

C. What's even more laudable is the fact that you were able to pull this off despite having four surgeries in seven days. I believe L called you a "warrior", right?

Me. Yep

C. Well, she was right. I don't think you give yourself enough credit and are, frankly, way too hard on yourself. I mean, of course, it's natural to be tired.

Me. But...

C. Listen. Yeah, you went to bed later than you would like. Yeah, you watched more TV than you would like. Yeah, you went off your diet and ate almost a full loaf of bread one day, a whole big bag of popcorn another, and a big hamburger yesterday. So, you put on a few pounds. And you weren't "disciplined". Gimme a break! You're human. What you went through is stressful. Nothing wrong with your reaction. 

Me. I guess

C. You also tend to be extra hard on yourself when you're feeling sick or tired. Well, you were sick and tired. What you went through was scary. You did a good job of hiding this, but you were very close to a pretty bad situation. That's scary for anyone. Add a major presentation on top of this and it's enough to drain even Superman.

Me. I guess

C. Listen. You tend to be a pretty humble person. You're not one to ding your own praise. In fact, you're quicker to criticize yourself than praise yourself.

Me. I don't like to brag. I hate people who brag.

C. I'm not saying you need to brag. Just give yourself credit or, at least, accept my genuine praise for the outstanding job you did last week in the face of such incredibly adverse circumstances.

Me. Thank you. Thank you so much. I genuinely appreciate your kind words and generous praise.

C. My pleasure. Really.

R. Was that helpful?

Me. Incredibly so. Thanks so much. Both of you. Thank you!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to get some stuff off my chest

R. Let's hear it.

Me. I'm feeling tense/stressed

R. Why?

Me. Well, for one I'm super stressed out about H not delivering the product this morning like he said he would. I'm feeling a lot of pressure from M because we were supposed to meet this morning and I haven't been able to get a hold of H so I'm running blind. I did get an email from H saying he is working on it and might not be able to complete until the morning but I couldn't get a hold of him when I contacted him this morning. That's frustrating!

R. Let me ask you a few questions.

Me. OK

R. First, do you think that H will complete the task today or even by tomorrow?

Me. In his note to me he said that he might need until the morning my time to release the product. This tells me he is working on it.

R. Good

Me. He also said he only had one more issue to solve, which again confirms that he is working on it.

R. So then it is simply a question of time, correct?

Me. Yes, I believe that at some point today he will release the new product.

R. Good.

Me. My concern is that he might have released the new product but that the issues have not yet been resolved because when I tested the product it appeared that one issue had been fixed but not another. The user issue seemed to have been fixed but not the other issues.

R. Well if he had released the product, you would have gotten some sort of notification, right?

Me. Yes, I would have.

R. Okay, so likely has not yet installed it.

Me. Yes, but still frustrating nonetheless

R. Let me ask you two questions. First, do you HAVE to be frustrated about this? And do you want to be frustrated about this?

Me. Good questions. I feel like I have to be frustrated about this because if I am not, this means that I don't care about the customer experience. So being frustrated and feeling guilty shows I'm a good person that put his client's interests first.

R. Hmm. That makes no sense. You obviously care. Not being highly frustrated does not mean you don't care. You care. Obviously you care. Being frustrated does not help matters in any way. Let's try looking at this in a different way and to help us with this I have asked J to join us. J is a super easy going person. He's highly productive. Super even-keeled. He is an enthusiastic person who lives life to the fullest. J, what's your perspective?

J. So let me make sure I understand the situation. H said he would have the release by this morning and hasn't. And you were supposed to have a meeting with M and L this morning but had to postpone it. You also have tried contacting H and have not heard back. So, you are worried that you will disappoint the client.

Me. Exactly

J. If the client was understanding, would this make it easier. In other words, if M said "Don't worry about it. Thanks for your effort. Just let me know and have a great day", would this make you feel less stressed?

Me. Definitely

J. What if you had received a note from H this morning saying "Hey, making good progress but it's taking me a bit longer to solve that last issue. I expect to have it completed by EOD your time", would that have made you feel better? 

Me. Yes. Definitely.

J. Last question. Has H come through for you in the past?

Me. Yes. Always. He takes longer than I would like, but he has always come through. The fact we are down just to a few final issues is actually very exciting.

J. Here's my advice. Try contacting H one more time and if he doesn't respond, then move onto your next project because what you can't afford is to have this or any other issue get in the way of having a productive day and, ultimately, you want to enjoy life. Just because the product is not ready today does not mean you can't have a fulfilling day. Make that the focus. Say a prayer. Wish others well. Then get after it. Good things are happening.

Me. Thank you. That was helpful!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

R. What's up?

Me. Just spent the last 6 1/2 hours working on the f'ing TP. I'm up to here with this project and RC. She is driving me f'ing nuts.

R. Well, it seems like you have made tremendous progress on this project. How are you feeling about the quality of the work?

Me. It is top notch. It's been a lot of work, but the end result is outstanding. No question about it.

R. So what is the issue?

Me. For one, just simply the amount of hours this has taken and the incredibly high degree of attention to detail, which has been somewhat draining. It seems like I have been on this nonstop for the last four weeks. And on top of this I have RC calling me every 10 minutes with some BS issue. Drives me nuts.

R. Understood. The good news is that you are on the last stretch. You probably have a few more hours worth of work and then you're done and can celebrate the completion of this doc. Plus, and very importantly, this now becomes part of your service offering. You now have a TP template and training program you can use over and over again.

Me. That's true. I think that's part of what drove me to spend as much time on this as I did, but, I also care about doing great work for the client so it is a double payoff.

R. Anything else?

Me. Got paid yesterday which is great plus we are launching a couple more new clients and have a few other ones in the hopper.

R. That's great

Me. It is. It hasn't fully hit me yet, but it is comforting to know that I will have some good income finally coming in for a period of time. 

R. What else on your mind?

Me. Well, M told me he is leaving BB on Monday. It was a bit of a shocker because he is our best client so frankly scared me a bit.

R. But might not this actually work out for the best?

Me. What do you mean?

R. Well, think about it. L is still at the company and she knows your product inside and out and is a big fan. Plus, the product is now working exactly as it should. So this means you don't skip a beat within BB. If L wasn't there, then it would be nerve wracking, but the fact she is, just simply makes her your point person and you keep moving forward.

Me. That's true. The fact the product is working and being used and that the management team has been trained means that with L's help you can proceed.

R. Exactly. I would now turn my attention to landing new customers.

Me. But first we need to finish adding the next set of enhancements and the M version.

R. Okay. But that is now literally right around the corner. We're talking a few weeks. What are your next steps?

Me. 1. Need to finishing testing the app in BB instance. 2. Then assuming all is running as it should, need to have H install the product in our instance. 3. Then need to get agreement on timeline for adding the enhancements. 4. Need to finalize the M version with G. 5. Need to start more heavily promoting it.

R. That sounds like a good plan.

Me. Yep.

R. Okay, let's recap. First, feeling better about the FS project?

Me. Yes. Definitely.

R. Feeling better about BB.

Me. Still a bit nervous, but, yes feeling better

R. Okay. Now what are you going to do to have a great weekend?

Me. Going to eat VERY healthy, drink lots of water, get some rest, and go out to dinner with wife tonight. Might run a few errands. Clean the house. Put away the dishes. Plan for Monday and the rest of the week.

R. Sounds good.

Me. Yeah, I'm really committed to losing weight and eating healthier. I've put on a few pounds and think that eating healthier will help with my health issue. Thanks. Good to vent and put things in perspective.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Feeling frustrated today?

R. Why?

Me. I feel like have so much to do and it's non ending. Feel like I have zero slack time and that it's been like this for a long time and that it's not going to get better any time soon.

R. What else?

Me. Want me to list all the reasons?

R. Yep

I'm frustrated that:

1. The f'ing product isn't ready yet. I'm so sick and f'ing tired of how f'ing long this is taking. Plus, it pissed me off that H said he wanted to hold off on developing new features to give us time to address new issues that might come up. We should have added those features a long time ago.

2. I'm having so many issues with my PC

3. F'ing K is bugging the **** out of me. Leave me the f alone already! Don't call me for every little f'ing thing. Figure the f out before bothering me with piddly ****.

4. P from BB called me. What the f does she want? She called me out of the blue.

5. I have to do everything. I have to create the f'ing document. I have to do f'ing everything. Enough already!

6. My eye is still bothering me. It bugs me when I read.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. I am in an absolutely crappy mood today

R. Why?

Me. All sorts of ****. First off, I have had enough of R and this f'ing TP project. I am sick and f'ing tired of working on this thing every single day and of all this tedious bull****. I am fried. And tired of having to deal with all the petty ****. Plus, it pissed me off that she made those final edits to the email, which made it look like ****.

R. I'm going to intervene here because your thinking is definitely distorted. Here are suggested thought substitutions: 

1. Instead of "I have had enough...", how about "Man, am I glad this part of the project is finally over. The quality of the work really was outstanding. I should be very proud about this. Yeah, it's difficult working with R sometimes, but she means well and helped you to deliver a very high quality project"?

2. Instead of "It pissed me off...", how about "Yeah, it wasn't exactly how I would have liked, but it's out there and no use getting in a tizzy over it. I'm just going to let it go because I'm learning to not make such a big deal about little things."?

Me. I definitely like those thought patterns better. Thanks!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

*TEN REASONS WHY I SHOULD BE FEELING GREAT ABOUT LIFE*

1. Have a wife I deeply love and how deeply loves me :squeeze
2. Have good health and on track to get in better shape - lost 5 pounds
3. Have a nice roof over our shoulders
4. Have money in the bank to pay our bills and enjoy occasional treats
5. Have 4 projects and am about to start another one and have more in pipeline
6. The product is working
7. We are about to come out with our M version
8. Partnership with CL WILL generate lots of leads
9. Have someone besides me who can work on generating leads
10. Having EC on staff is very positive

:banana


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## Renovation

FIVE THINGS
1. Hugging my wife brings me tremendous joy
2. Persevering gives me a tremendous sense of satisfaction
3. Losing weight gives me a tremendous sense of satisfaction
4. Having the house clean makes me feel great
5. Paying my bills gives me a sense of relief 

:yes


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Lots on my mind

R. Let's hear it

Me. Just a lot going on which is making me nervous

R. What's making you nervous?

Me. That the product might not work

R. But it is working and worked out all the kinks, right? You just tested it and everything is working as it should

Me. Yes, that's true

R. So what are you nervous about?

Me. I'm nervous that it won't work for other companies

R. That doesn't make any sense

Me. I suppose not

R. This has been a great test account

Me. Yeah, but what happens if more companies use it?

R. That's what you want, isn't it?

Me. Well, yes, but the product isn't perfect. There are other key features it needs for it to work as it should and I'm afraid that it won't be accepted

R. That's silly. Overall the response has been very positive.

Me. That's true and the m version will be great

R. Plus, you just heard from BB customer and they want to continue using the product because they see so much value in it. That's a huge testimony to the value of the product that your champion leaves but the customer wants to continue using it. That's huge. That has to be a HUGE relief!

Me. Yes, it actually is.

R. What else?

Me. I'm really worried about the presentation next week

R. Why?

Me. I don't know if I will be ready by then

R. Today is Tuesday, which means you have tonight, at least a couple of hours tomorrow, plus ALL day Thursday, most of Friday, and Saturday to prep. That's a lot of time. Plus you have already completed 90+% of the presentation and know most of the material. It's now just a question of practicing it and writing out a few talking points.

Me. Yeah, but I'm afraid the presentation is going to be too long, plus it's the first time that I have presented this material.

R. Let me ask you a question

Me. OK

R. Are you happy with the content, ideas, and look of the presentation?

Me. Well, yes. It is very good. In fact, it is head and shoulders over anything that my colleagues have produced.

R. So, this is very important. You have great content and LOTS of time to prep.

Me. Yeah, that's true but my other fear is that I won't be able to fly because of my injury and I have not heard back from EC.

R. Here is my advice. Instead of imagining the worst case scenario, imagine that EC can cover for you and that it will all work out. Your focus is simply on prep, which you can do from the couch and even your iPad if you want.

Me. Okay. Thanks for letting me vent. That really helped! :clap


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to get some **** off my shoulders

R. Go for it

Me. M**** f'ing K drives me f'ing nuts some times. She's f'ing clueless some times. Don't know if it's an LA thing or her age but she's too f'ing dingy some times and just plain selfish. Pissed me off that she wanted me to stay on the line while she f'ing did travel f'ing research. Get a f'ing clue. And now I'm out of pocket an extra $500 because she did everything last minute.

R. Hopefully, it helped to get this off your chest. Now shift your focus to something more positive.

Me. OK.Will do.Thanks for letting me vent. :mum


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to get some stuff off my chest

R. Let's hear it

Me. I'm pissed of K didn't contact me to let know how the event went. That's f'ed up. I spent all this money and then don't get the courtesy of even a text. That's f'ed up. And then I learn from E that he heard from some of his colleagues that she was a big hit at the show. That pisses me off! This shows she doesn't respect me and that she thinks E is better than me.She know is going to think she is a superstar and threaten to leave. I'm sure she will tell me other companies want to hire her. 

R. I think you are way over reacting and are completely missing the positive

Me: Such as?

R. For one, she was representing YOUR company, so, ultimately, this is a great reflection on your ability to attract AND train great talent. To take someone who wasn't that good and turn her into a sharp business person. That's something you should feel really proud AND happy about.

Me. I suppose

R. If she does say that people wanted to hire her, compliment her and tell her that you are so proud of her. Use it as an opportunity to further solidify your relationship. Imagine how good it will feel when she tells you she developed a few leads and that the response to her (your product) was super positive. That is a cause for celebration.

Me. I guess you are right. In fact, you are right. That is awesome. It is exciting that the team is starting to gel. I firmly believe we have an opportunity to build an important business between the three of us.

R. That's the attitude!

Me. Thanks! This was really helpful. :teeth


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. I'm pissed that f'ing R did not even send me an f'ing thank you note for my taking the time to create the instructions for the worksheet. That's way fed up!

R. You're like way over reacting, don't you think? On a scale of 1 to 10 in terms of appropriate level of anger, this is like a 1 not a 10 like you're making it out to be.

Here's your reaction: :mum
Here's a better reaction - you laughing at yourself for getting so angry: :steam
Me. That's actually pretty funny


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to vent

R. Get it out of your system.

Me. F'ing K pisses me off. She's always f'ing sick and complaining about health insurance. I'm growing tired of it. It's also bull**** that she whines so f'ing much. She has such an f'ing whiny voice and worse acts likes she knows a lot. She knows squat! Make some **** happen then pop off!

R. Okay. Now try a different approach.

Me. She's actually a great gal and very loyal and dedicated and is really trying. I couldn't do what she does and her role is very important. Yeah, she's sometimes immature, but she means well and has good values. Treating her with kindness and positivity is a much better approach. Creates good energy all the way around.

R. That's better. What else?

Me. Well, f'ing HP just told me he doesn't want to continue to do the work. That scared the living daylights out of me because I thought that this would mean the end of the product. I was super stressed out last night and ate every carb-based food I could get my hands on and didn't get a great night's sleep and woke up feeling stressed.

R. Go on.

Me. I emailed MM last night as soon as I got off the phone with HP to set up a call to discuss if he could take over. Long story short, he can. It seems that he has the necessary skill set, which is key. He's also local, a great guy, mature, and I can put him in front of a senior technical audience and he will hold his own. So this might actually turn into a blessing in disguise. Thank you God!

R. Feel better?

Me. Yes. Thanks!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Still have some stuff festering I need to unload.

R. Let's hear it

Me. I am f'ing pissed off at HP for not doing what he said he was going to do. He said this was going to be completed a long time ago. I've been waiting on his ***.

R. What else is running through your mind that makes you frustrated about this?

Me. Well, it's really scary - the thought of losing my business because we can't finish the product.

R. What else?

Me. Well, I felt like a complete failure. It really hurt my feelings. It made me think that I had wasted all these years and my dream was about to go up in smoke. It made me feel that I'm foolish, immature, and irresponsible to take such a big risk. Really scary. So much at stake. I felt like a loser and a fake. Scared the hell out of me. 

R. Okay, but, very fortunately, it appears that you might have found a MUCH better solution, right?

Me. Well, yes. If MM is knowledgeable about the coding language we use, then I/we are actually WAY, WAY better off. Having a local and DEDICATED resource who I trust and can speak with in the same language and who has a vested interest in the success of the company is absolutely a Godsend. 

R. That could be great.

Me. It could be.

R. My advice is that for now that you assume the best. Assume MM has the skill set. He definitely is an expert in ___. Maybe even more so than HP. So, for now assume the best. 

Me. OK

R. Imagine how great it will feel to be able to work with someone who you can speak to on a daily basis in English and who knows and is is excited about what he is doing. Wouldn't that be great?

Me. Yes. It would be awesome!

R. OK. So let's assume this for now. Look at it this way: you not only avoid a serious situation but you very possibly SIGNIFICANTLY improve it.

Me. That is great.

R. Feel better?

Me. Yes. Much better.

R. Let go of the negative energy. Do a physical exercise to get it out of your system and pray for gratitude and courage.

Me. Thank you. Very helpful. :help


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to vent

R.Let's hear it. Let it out.

Me. I'm so f'ing pissed off.

R. About what

Me. Here's a list:

1. F'ing K hasn't done squat. She's added absolutely no value. I'm starting to get super pissed off at her lack of effectiveness and her know it all attitude.

2. It's so fed up that HP isn't getting it done and I can't do anything about it. He's been saying he's have the product ready a year ago and it's still not ready. It's so fed up that he doesn't want to do it anymore

R. Okay that's helpful. Let's examine each of these.

1. K. Let's for a second look at the glass as being half full instead of half empty. So from that perspective, let's think about some of the very real opportunities that you are chasing thanks to her.

Me. Okay

R. There's Sol, HS, and ZS. These are all very real opportunities. Not only are they real, they are also large opportunities. There are also partnership opportunities with CL and the PR firm she made happen as well as finding EC. She might also have made progress at Apt. Also, you just got an email from eF expressing interest, so that's great. Remember it only takes one. This is a good base to work from. My advice is that you focus on how YOU can help build pipeline. K is a valuable resource. Ideally, you get into a mode where she is following up leads. She is a good gal and very loyal and trustworthy and coachable. For her role, she is very good. Also, don't forget about FS, BG, C, An and CL.

Me. That's helpful.

R. Re HP, here is my take. First, he told you he will add the DM functionality by the end of May and possibly the other functionality as well. So, in less than a month you will have a fantastic product. Second, you now have a viable backup option in MM. I know you are concerned but you know he is very knowledgeable about SF, perhaps even more so than HP. So this is a good backup plan. Plus, you might have some funds to pay someone for development. The net of it is that it's not as bad as it seems. You also are this close to having the mobile app ready.

Me. OK

R. Helpful?

Me. Yes. Definitely!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. I'm nervous

R. Why?

Me. Because R has not called or texted me back. She's usually very prompt.

R. Maybe she's really busy

Me. Doesn't matter. Regardless of how busy she is she always gets back to me really fast. This worries the hell out of me.

R. Why?

Me. Because I'm afraid that her meeting with R did not go well and that they are going to stop working with us.

R. I believe this is called fortune telling. Why don't you get out of the house for a while and may be go to a movie?

Me. It's too cold. I'm not doing anything until she calls me back.

R. How about you lay down for a while and get a little rest?

Me. OK


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## Renovation

DISTORTED THINKING

I'm not feeling well today. I have the flu, so physically feeling pretty blah. Often times when I have been sick in the past I have also gotten depressed.

My brain starts to tell me that I am a weak person and inferior to other people that are not sick. 

The "logic" is that if someone I know and respect and whom I consider a colleague is not sick while I am, then this "means" that they are better than me and "proves" yet again that I am inferior.

At that point I then start piling on all of the other reasons why I am "inferior" or start ruminating about everything that is wrong or dangerous and start worrying about the future.

In addition to beating myself up for being sick, I start to label myself as a "lazy and weak f***" who will come up with any excuse not to work.

I tell myself that I should be able to power through this. If I were tough enough, I should be able to work through the illness no matter what. After all, Michael Jordan was able to play in a championship game when he had a fever.

I have had zero compassion for myself. I also feel guilty that I am letting other people down. My colleagues and my wife in particular.

The tricky part about being sick is that unlike other trigger events, it can last for days. I've been sick for the last three days. It's a slippery slope because the longer I'm sick, the more frustrated I tend to become and the stronger the feelings of distress.

In my next post I will try to think through an alternative and more helpful approach.


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## Renovation

AN ALTERNATIVE APPROACH

Just read an interesting article about what to do to feel psychologically better when you're physically sick. The author provided some very practical advice.

DRINK LOTS OF FRESH WATER. This is the usual advice because it helps you get rid of toxins, however, the author provides other and IMHO more important reasons. She says it will help your brain counteract negativity. Our moods are very dependent on proper hydration - I didn't know this. 

She says it's physically essential and emotionally nurturing. When she was in chemo they had her drink obscene amounts of water which kept her less toxic and made her feel more in the flow and connected to a natural, healing element.

LOOK AT BEAUTIFUL THINGS. Looking at a beautiful bouquet of flowers or a picture of a gorgeous sunshine is another way to lift your spirits while your body is down.

ASK: DOES THIS HAVE GOOD ENERGY? This bit of advice is very interesting and wise. She suggests not to, for example, watch an episode of CSI or the news. Good advice. But I'll take it a step further. 

The takeaway for me is that we need to be more conscious of the type of energy we put out and the type of energy we take in. Or the type of energy that we start to empower through our thoughts and actions. For me it boils down to this: does this reaction or action create positive,beautiful and loving energy? 

Or, put another way, does the decision to not react or act in a negative way, at least, not worsen the situation? I believe it's important to be conscious of both the positive consequences of a positive reaction or action as well as the negative consequences of a negative reaction or action. This enables you to see the vast contrast and make you cognizant that you have a choice.

LAUGH. She says that so much go getting well is about imbibing joy into our minds and cells. That's VERY wise advice.

I'm going to go apply some of this sage counsel and will report back later.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

HOT THOUGHTS

I feel like absolute crap today. I'm sick with the flu. I'm physically exhausted. I'm anxious. I feel worthless. I hate feeling sick. I'm angry because our f'ing ___ take so f'ing long to get stuff done and when they do the product still doesn't work. They've been telling me for over one year that the product would be ready. It's not. How in the f*** am I supposed to sell this thing if it doesn't f'ing work? I'm fed up.

COOL THOUGHTS

OK. Not feeling great today but not the end of the world. I bet that if you do a 12 minute drill you could have your home looking beautiful. Wouldn't that feel great? 

Also, all of the product issues are solvable, so it's just a matter of time. And you have a working product today. Your ___ and ___ products are great. And your ___ product will also be great.

Don't give up! Keep after it.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN 

Me. LOTS on my mind

RR. Let's hear it

Me. I have been really sick the last week with a really bad cold. Starting to feel a bit better today, but still feeling fatigued.

RR. Sorry to hear that

Me. Feel like a total loser. I'm weak. I'm no good at what I do. I'm a failure.

RR. Wow. You're being really hard on yourself. It does suck when you're sick that's for sure. And we have all been there in terms of feeling mentally and physically fatigued.

Me. I just feel like everything is completely out of control. The house is a mess. I'm a mess. The business is a mess.

RR. Well, it's good you're getting this stuff off your chest. You don't want to walk around with this pent up inside of you.

Me. Yeah. It does feel good to finally be able to speak with someone about this.

RR. That's why I'm here.

Me. Thanks

RR. So, let me take one of these statements. The one about you saying that you're a loser and a failure.

Me. OK. 

RR. First, let me understand what triggered this.

Me. On Friday R told me that T said that he didn't like my presentation. 

RR. How did this make you feel?

Me. It scared me. It worried me. It frustrated me. It made me angry.

RR. What did you do about it?

Me. I wrote R an email describing my perspective.

RR. How did you feel after you sent it?

Me. Better

RR. Why?

Me. Because the feedback for all of the presentations I have done, including this last one has been OVERWHELMINGLY and UNIVERSALLY positive. All of their top people have given me rave reviews.

RR. So, you mean that there is evidence that people think that you are great at what you do?

Me. Yes. The feedback I got from a number of there most senior people was very positive.

RR. Okay. So labeling yourself a loser and a failure is irrational and, certainly, not useful.

Me. You're right. It's just that...

RR. It's just that nothing. How might a very confident version of yourself handled this situation.

Me. He would have been stoic about the situation. He would not have judged T's feedback as good or back. He would have looked at the totality of the situation and brought this to R's attention.

RR. What conclusion might have he have drawn from the analysis?

Me. That the overall feedback was overwhelmingly positive.

RR. Are you sure you're not just saying this to make yourself feel better?

Me. Rather than labeling it, let me just point out that E, C, D, P, S, K, C, J, woman on N team, T, L, N and M all gave me positive feedback and that these are all considered the best people at F.

RR. That is positive.

Me. Yes

RR. So, please don't minimize this.

Me. OK. I do feel better that I was able to communicate my thoughts to R, which, based on her feedback made it seem like she understands and agrees with my position. 

RR. That's important.

Me. Yes, because for a second there she started to speculate and buy into it, so I felt it was important for her sake and mine to put the logic in black and white. And it did make me feel better, especially, when she gave me such a warm response.

RR. Well, it seems to her point that T is out numbered to a very large degree. What's next?

Me. R is going to try and call T this morning before she flies out.

RR. What are your concerns?

Me. Well. I am worried that the worst is happening because I haven't yet heard back from R and she usually gets back to me right away.

RR. What are other possible explanations? 

Me. One is that she has not yet spoken with him. She may have tried, but did not connect. 

RR. She said she was going to call. So, fair to say she has or will try.

Me. True

RR. Might you be possibly blowing this a bit out of proportion?

Me. What do you mean?

RR. It's not like everybody is saying we need to push you out. In other words, there are way more people in your camp than not.

Me. True.

RR. What else?

Me. Well. I'm worried about the product.

RR. What about it?

Me. Well. We have shown it quite a bit, but don't yet have any takers. And now just this morning I learned about another competitor that just raised __.

RR. Okay. Deep breath. Again, let's look at the facts. 

Me. Okay

RR. First off, is there a market?

Me. Yes. 

RR. What has been the reaction to the product?

Me. According to K the response has been positive to very positive. 

RR. Be more specific.

Me. The reaction from S was very positive as was the reaction from SH today. There are real opps in the pipeline. FINALLY. Plus CR is an opp as is A. So is Q. So is EF. So is App. So for the first time we have a real pipeline where we can get a dozen deals this year. 

RR. Good. Things are not as bad as they seemed. 

Me. That's right! I feel better! Thanks!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to get some stuff off my chest.

R. Go for it.

Me. I'm pissed that I've been feeling sick for weeks. I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I feel like a weakling. I'm so tired of feeling so fatigued. I have very little energy. STARTING TO FEEL BETTER. VERY CLOSE TO FEELNG BETTER. HAS GIVEN ME AN OPPORTUNITY TO THINK ABOUT MY HEALTH - MENTAL AND PHYSICAL.

R. What else?

Me. I'm pissed that f'ing MG has not kept me up to date on what's going on with all these deals. He always does this. He always goes into seclusion and doesn't communicate. It's so important to him that he be the main man in the front of the clients eyes. ITS AWESOME THAT THERE ARE SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES THANKS TO MG!

R. What else?

Me. I'm pissed that I don't have the energy to work on the HS deck. YOU HAVE ALL WEEK. NO NEED TO PANIC.

R. Okay. It's good to get this off your chest. It's also good to consider the positive from these situations.

Me. Thanks this was helpful! 0


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## Renovation

NEED TO VENT

HOT: I'm so f'ing pissed off that f'ing D didn't send the f'ing check. She made me jump,and do the f'ing invoice and then sends me a f'ing note that she forgot to send the check today and they're going to be gone all f'ing week so she won't be able to mail me the check until the end of the f'ing week which means I probably won't be able to deposit it until the following week. That's absolutely fed up!!

COOL: Well, the good news is that you're getting a check and it's a nice one. Plus it's one you were not expecting. So you get it next week. That's awesome. It will feel great to get the check. 

Me: Yeah, it's very good news and I'm grateful for it. Very grateful.

HOT: I'm sick and tired of being sick and tiered. Enough already! I feel like such a weakling. I feel like a low life loser.

COOL: Certainly not ideal. Just continue to take care of yourself. 

Me. Ok


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## Renovation

HOT: I'm pissed that f'ing HP has still not gotten back to me. It absolutely pisses me off. He has been promising to have the product completed months ago and it's still not f'ing ready. That's so absolutely f'ed up. Plus, there's nothing I can do about it. Just fix the f'ing bugs already.

COOL: The only thing you can do is continue to email him. He has come through in the past, so it's fair to assume he will come through again. My advice is that you take an upbeat attitude with him and communicate how incredibly well things are going.


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## Renovation

NEED TO VENT

Me. I'm so f'ing pissed off at f'ing HP. It's taking so m**** f'ing long to get the damned product complete. How many f'ing times am I going to have to explain that the damned DM capability is essential? He told me he would have it done by the end of the month. Well, it's now the end of the month and it's still not f'ing done!

R. Keep going

Me. It appears that he has made some progress, but is stuck on the most important part. And, he was getting ready to blow this off.

R. And?

Me. Long story, short. He tells me it is a solvable problem and that he can have this functionality done in about 4 weeks.

R. Not ideal in terms of timing, but, at least he said he can and will fix it and he has identified the issue. It appears that there is a good understanding of the problem, which is key.

Me. True

R. He also agreed to check in next week, which is also key, and said he would work on it this weekend, which is really key.

Me. That's also true.

R. Any sliver lining here?

Me. Well, the fact that he reached out to me is appreciated. Shows he's conscientious. It's also good that we had a chance to discuss the problem because this gives me more clarity regarding the issue and what needs to be done. It also helped me to restate the importance of resolving the issue, so he now seems to understand why this is important.

R. Anything else?

Me. The fact that he volunteered to speak to check in next week is also a big plus.

R. Good. My advice is to now imagine it's June 25 and that you finally have the DM capability. By that time you should also have the M app ready. And maybe you can get MM to start working on some of the other functionality. Wouldn't that be fabulous?

Me. Having a working product with all this functionality would definitely be wonderful.

R. You have a choice. You can either visualize the worst case scenario, which is kind of what you have been doing. Or, you can visualize the best case scenario, which, fortunately, is also a likely scenario. This is an important point. Everyone now is marching toward making the best case scenario real. The problem is solvable and HP has proven very capable to solve problems in the past, so take a deep breath and focus on enjoying the day.

Me. Thank you. It really helped to get this off my chest and sift through all my thoughts to get a better, more positive perspective on the situation. :nerd:


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## Renovation

NEED TO VENT

Me. I'm pissed of that m**** f'ing A unsubscribed from my newsletter. That's fed up! Who the f*** does he think he is. I'm such a loser. That's what that means. That proves I'm a loser.

R. Now you know that's just plain silly. Let me ask you what would you tell MM if he said he was pissed because someone unsubscribes from his list?

Me. I'd tell him it's no big f'ing deal and whoever unsubscribes should go f*** themselves. Then we'd probably laugh and be onto something else.

R. Good, but let's keep digging into how you're feeling and what we might be able to do to get you back on track. So, what else are you upset about?

Me. A few things. For one, I'm pissed that EC has not gotten back to me in terms of when we can discuss HS. Hopefully, we can do it tomorrow.

R. Ok. What else?

Me. I'm pissed that f'ing MG has taken so f'ing long to communicate with R. And now we find out they're working with someone else.

R. Do you think this minimizes the chances of their working with you?

Me. It doesn't help, but it doesn't hurt either. At the end of the day, it's our product in which they're interested. It does bother me that my friend, and he is my friend, did not get the project.

R. That's great that you have such a good heart and care about your friend, but I don't think your friend would want you to be overly concerned. And he certainly wouldn't want this to cause you to be upset.

Me. That's true. The good news is that this project is still moving forward.

R. What else?

Me. Well, I think the big thing is that I feel lonely. I don't like working home by myself. I feel isolated. It's not fun. I love our little home but being stuck in the office all day by myself is tough. But I have a great computer at home, which is a great workstation.

R. So, let's try to come up with a plan where you minimize your time at home but make the most of it while you're there.

Me. Sounds good. What do you mean?

R. Let's take tomorrow as an example. You don't have any meetings that require you to use your computer, which means you can work from anywhere tomorrow. 

Me. Okay.

R. So, you could, for example, go to the gym in the morning. You could do a nice longish but light workout and then take a steam, shave and take a nice long shower.

Me. Sounds like a great way to start the day.

R. Then you could go have breakfast somewhere fun, like Cafe R. You could set yourself up and work from there for a couple of hours.

Me. Okay, so far so good. Don't have to work from home. Home stays nice and clean, which I like. I'm with other people. Like it so far. Now what?

R. Well what about going downtown?

Me. That's an option. I do have a lot of admin/email stuff to do. Would be fun to do this from somewhere fun like the 4S. 

R. That's the idea. To go somewhere that's cool. My advice is that you need to push yourself outside your comfort zone and stop doing the same old thing day in and day out.

Me. I agree. I definitely would like to do this.

R. Think about doing stuff you really like to do, like working out.

Me. I love working out.

R. Well, what if you made the gym your home base.

Me. What do you mean?

R. Imagine that you could work from somewhere within walking distance of the gym. 

Me. Like the Starbucks on the corner.

R. There you go. You could go to the gym early morning. Workout, etc. until about 8am then go to Cafe R for a couple of hours. You could then do one of many things. You could go back to the gym, park, and go to Starbucks. 

Me. That's an option.

R. You could go to a co-working facility. 

Me. Let me investigate that. I'll come back later. This is helpful. Thanks!

R. You bet.


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## Renovation

UPDATE

Me. My car broke down on the freeway today, but it might have been the best thing that could have happened to me.

R. Huh?

Me. Well, because this happened I ended up getting towed to my mechanic. Because I had to wait, I needed to go find a place to eat. Found a great Whole Foods with a great hot food selection. Had a nice lunch and then, very conveniently, right across the street, there is a fabulous cafe. Not crowded. Lots of free tables. Free wifi. Plenty of outlets. Kind of a cool scene. 

R. Very cool.

Me. Yep. Much better than the hotel I was thinking of going to.

R. Great. So list your new offices.

Me. Ok.
1. The Starbucks next to my gym
2. The Peets next to Whole Foods
3. The lobby at the M
4. The lobby at the 4S
5. The Starbucks near home
6. Cafe R

R. Very cool :wink2:


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Lots going on. Need to clear my head.

R. Let's hear it. What's up?

Me. Well, things are good overall.

R. That's great. Like what?

Me. Projects are going well. Just got confirmation that the FS project is being approved, which is fantastic.

R. That's super news

Me. Yep. Also, the C project went really well, which is also very good news.

R. That's also great.

Me. And the meeting with HS went very, very well, which is also very good news.

R. Wow. That's very encouraging.

Me. Yep. That all is very good news.

R. So, what's wrong?

Me. Well, I'm pissed that we have not been able to reschedule the meeting with S. That really pisses me off. Just because there was a miscommunication with f'ing Outlook. If we could have had the meeting, we might have another project by now.

R. Hmm

Me. Also, today's call with IS got screwed up because f'ing K told me to hang up and then we lost the connection. That's f'ed up. Just pisses me off when **** like this happens.

R. Why?

Me. You only get a few opportunities, so they need to happen.

R. Who is to say that you won't hear back from IS and S and S next week?

Me. I suppose that's possible.

R. What else?

Me. Well, I'm really pissed at HP. He missed the meeting this week and then gave me a response that the DM capability won't be ready for 30 days, which tells me he hasn't started working on this.

R. You don't know this.

Me. Yeah, but it pisses me off.

R. What are you afraid of?

Me. I'm afraid that f'ing HP is going to be late again. I'm afraid that the product will not work like it should. I'm afraid HP is going to continue to be non-responsive.

R. What are your choices?

Me. I need to get clarity around what he is going to deliver. I need to see if MM is able to deliver and, potentially, step in. I need to find out if HP needs any help/advice about A.

R. Good. Keep moving forward.

Me. Okay. Was pretty fired up about the response to the product today.

R. That's good

Me. Yes, the response has been overwhelmingly positive.

R. So, keep after it. Get after it. Compete against those **** at D!

Me. Haven't seen you this fired up before. That's good.

R. Every now and then I get riled up.

Me. Thanks. Another very helpful discussion!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to vent

R. Go for it

Me. I'm deeply frustrated

R. About what?

Me. Well. Deeply frustrated about HP for one. I'm so pissed that he is not being responsive. I'm also concerned about what he will deliver and whether or not it will be high quality.

R. Expand

Me. I'm just f'ing pissed off that I have emailed him a bunch of times and he has only partially responded to my questions. Very upsetting.

R. What else?

Me. Also worried about what we will deliver to FS. I'm really scared that the product will be buggy or late or both. Or even non-existent.

R. He has come through in the past.

Me. Yes, but he has also said that he no longer wants to be involved.

R. OK. The good news here is that you now have MM. He's taken a very deep look at the product and feels he can take it over.

Me. Yes, that is very good news.

R. Here's my advice. Wait to hear from K about how call went with IS, then based on this begin to craft your email. Maybe sleep on it. Write from the heart with compassion and gratitude, but also explain you worries. Just be sure to be kind.

Me. OK


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to get some stuff off my chest

R. Go for it

Me. I'm incredibly frustrated that HP has not responded and that I have zero insight into the progress of the product and whether or not he will deliver or when.

R. All you can do is go on what he has told you what he would do. So what was that?

Me. He said he would have DM done by the end of June.

R. What else has he said?

Me. He said he already started working on it. He said he's run into some issues but was working on it.

R. Okay, so he's working on it.

Me. Yeah. It frankly surprised me that he had actually been working on it.

R. Okay. Here's my take. He's always come through in the past, right?

Me. Yes

R. He's told you he's working on it, right?

Me. Yes

R. He's told he'd have it done by the end of the month, right?

Me. Yeah

R. So, rather than imagining the worst, imagine that he will come through just like he always has. He's always come through. Always.

Me. That's true

R. Listen. Enjoy the game. Trust him. And let him know you trust him and that you're grateful. He's come with you this far. He's not going to leave you hanging. Trust him and don't needlessly create such a horror picture for yourself. There are a lot of good things going on.

Me. Okay. Thank you. It's so helpful to get this off my chest and put it all in perspective.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Just need to get some stuff off my chest

R. Let's hear it

Me. I hate it when K calls me at 830 in the morning and just expects that I drop whatever I'm doing. Pisses me off. If it's important send me an f'ing text or email. Pisses me off when we get on the phone and she just drones on. Give me an f'ing break and get to the point!

R. Reframe your inner dialog about this. So, instead, of saying "I'm feeling overwhelmed and super stressed out about this", think "I'm going to get a lot done today!", "I'm super productive!", or "It's going to be a great and productive day!"

R. Remember that she is all by herself and trying to do her job to the best of her ability.

Me. I appreciate that and will get back to her if it's important. There are certain things she can figure out on her own. From my own time and energy management perspective, I want to be able to control when I answer the phone.

R. That's reasonable. If it's important, she would text you.

Me. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed right now. Just a lot on my plate.

R. My advice is that you chunk it down. Make a list of three business tasks you want to get done today. Put them in priority order. Set aside time to get started. Use the stopwatch technique.

Me. That sounds like a reasonable approach

R. Also, make sure to take care of an nurture yourself. Do deep breathing exercises. Stretch. Do shake and rub. Do push-ups, squats, and isometric exercise. Redirect the nervous energy. Also, make sure to stay hydrated and eat. Don't skip meals.

Me. Okay. Thanks. Very good advice!

R. Change the self-talk. Instead of "I'm feeling overwhelmed and super stressed out about this", say "I'm going to have a super productive day today", "It's great that I have so many things to do", or "I'm mentally tough and I'm getting it done!"


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## Renovation

OTHER STUFF

Me. Heard from HP this morning

R. That's great.

Me. Yes. It felt great.

R. Why?

Me. Because it just gave me hope that he's on it. So I trust that we'll get done what we need to get done. Felt good to speak with him.

R. Good. Keep the faith. Be kind. Have fun!

Me. Thank you! :clap


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## Renovation

NEED TO VENT

Me. I'm f'ing pissed off

R. What's up?

Me. For one, my f'ing mobile phone isn't working properly. Just pisses me off. Such a hassle!

R. What else? 

Me. I'm f'ing pissed off that neither K or EC commented on my email. It's a huge deal that H was so positive about the document I created. Just pisses me off that I put so much time and effort and then there is no recognition from either one of them. Totally f'ed up!

R. What else?

Me. It pisses me off that f'ing MG lost the f'ing files and now I have to find them. I already f'ing sent them to him. Gimme a break!

R. What else?

Me. Pisses me off that R expects me to drop everything and jump on her stuff. Just pisses me off. It's Sunday for goodness sakes. Does it really have to get done today? Gimme an f'ing break!,

R. Anything else?

Me. I guess I'm still a bit nervous about HS and that I have to prep for it.

R. Anything else?

Me. Well f'ing HP hasn't responded. Which is f'ed up!

R. Let's address these.

1. MG: not your problem and no one is blaming you. Not your fault phone isn't working.

2. The model you built is great! The only opinion that matters is H and A. The model is solid. Let it go. Put out positive energy and love into the world instead of anger and venom. Positivity, enthusiasm and kindness feel much better for all involved.

3. Allocate 30 minutes to R task after meeting. Think of it as your getting paid a big chunk for 30 minutes of work on Sunday.

4. Regarding HP: you have to trust him. You could try calling him via Skype. 

5. Go to AT&T on Tuesday and you'll get the problem taken care of.

Me. Okay. I don't need to make as big a deal of these issues as I am. Not worth it. I can make a choice and be kind and positive. The MG deal is not really a big of a deal. The R issue is not really abig deal. The EC and K deal is not a big deal at all. The phone issue is fixable in a couple of days. And HP told me he's working on it. He understands what needs to get done and is on the case. Overall, things ate very good!

R. That's more like it.

Me. Thanks. Very helpful. Thanks for helping me put it all in perspective.

R. You bet.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to clear my head

R. Let's hear it.

Me. Feeling a bit overwhelmed and discombobulated

R. What do you mean?

Me. Just, lots to juggle. Didn't get a great night sleep last night. Took me a while to fall asleep. Then woke up early. Was tired when woke up, so didn't go to the gym. Then had an 830 meeting. Took a bunch of notes, which I now need to digitize.

R. What else?

Me. Well R overwhelms me with needless detail, which frustrates me. Then she tells me I have to do even more work.

R. What else?

Me. Still feeling nervous about the call last night. It went very well. As well as it could have really, but I think I'm just nervous about getting the deal because it would be such a major achievement to close this.

R. What else?

Me. Still pissed about the phone

R. What else?

Me. Had a bit of free time last night. Read Time Magazine while watching a program on BBC. Felt strange not having something to work on. This is a good thing, but not used to it.

R. What else?

Me. I'm upset that I binged last night. Eating half a chocolate bar shortly before bedtime was probably not the smartest idea.

R. What else?

Me. Feeling fatigued. Not terrible, but not great.

R.What else?

Me. HP's silence is really pissing me off more than anything


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to vent

R. Okay

Me. I'm frustrated because I'm not losing any weight despite a pretty healthy diet.

R. Hmm

Me. I want to lose 7-10 pounds. I've been able to do it before but not having a lot of success lately.

R. What did you eat yesterday?

Me. Had a few protein shakes and a chicken salad for lunch. Had a shake with yogurt for dinner. Maybe I need to cut out dairy for awhile. Every expert says to cut it out. I suppose it's worth a shot.

R. What else do you think you need to do?

Me. Eat a primarily plant-based diet. So need to increase my veggie intake significantly. I like veggies so not an issue.

R. What else?

Me. Probably need to stop eating late. Had a steamed veggie snack late night, but probably not a good idea to eat so late.

R. What else?

Me. My late eating is likely a function of stress, so I need to do two things. Use broth or water to quench my hunger and I need to incorporate stretching and breathing exercises into an evening relaxation routine.

R. Sounds good.

Me. That's enough on that topic. Want to start another thread for a different topic.

R. Ok


----------



## Renovation

CHECK IN

R. So what else is up?

Me. Just feeling discombobulated

R. What do you mean?

Me. Well. I'm getting stuff done, but I'm not as focused as I'd like to be.

R. Explain

Me. Well, for example, I know I need to take a look at the document K sent over yesterday, but I'm in no hurry to do so.

R. What else?

Me. I know I should be working on the C project based on what C sent over, but don't feel like it.

R. What else?

Me. Know I should be working on FS project, but too lazy to do so.

R. What else?

Me. I'm worried about HS. Although it went really well. Until we get it signed, I'm nervous.

R. What else?

Me. There are some personal items I'm putting off like going to the dentist. Also contacting the __.

R. What else?

Me. I'm just feeling like an f'ing, procrastinating, lazy-**** loser.

R. Let's examine your thinking because I see some room for improvement.

Me. OK

R. First, it doesn't do you much good to beat yourself up about the lack of weight/fat loss. All you can do is "just do it". And one day at a time. So for today no more dairy and drink more water. No yogurt. No more coffee with milk. No cheese. Eat veggies and a piece of fruit. Go load up on healthy and yummy items, especially snacks. Buy small plastic bags so you can pack healthy snacks.

Me. OK

R. The other you need to do is to do stretching and breathing and other relaxation exercises throughout the day. You are in a stressful position, so you need to be proactive. PERIOD.

Me. OK. That's doable.

R. Also, drink lots of water, take your vitamins and do a 50-count workout everyday beyond the gym workout made up primarily of pushups and squats plus some isometric exercises.

Me. OK. This is very good and doable advice.

R. In terms of labeling yourself lazy and a loser, that's complete nonsense. You're human. You have been working non-stop for the last few months. Look at all the great content you produced. Not just the quantity, but more importantly, the quality. It's been great work. Wouldn't you agree?

Me. Well, I have gotten a lot of compliments about it.

R. Another thing. Yesterday was tough because you had to get your phone fixed, which took up practically all of your afternoon. But you had the initiative to go get it done. You also got a couple of small business tasks done, so not a complete waste of time. Plus, you had a lunch that could potentially turn into a project. In fact, it's very likely it will.

Me. That's true.

R. Here's my advice for today. You got in your workout in, which is great. Here's what else I want you to do today.

1. Get car fluids checked - RESCHEDULED
2. Healthy grocery shopping - COMPLETED
3. Go to bank - COMPLETED
4. Contact Chris - COMPLETED
5. Go to Walgreens - COMPLETED
6. Get $ to pay A - COMPLETED
7. Pay phone bill - COMPLETED
8. Research bakeries - COMPLETED
9. Read movie reviews - RESCHEDULED
10. Clean kitchen - COMPLETED
11. Do 50 - COMPLETED
12. Do 5 sets of mini-relaxation exercises - COMPLETED
13. Update your progress journal - COMPLETED
15. Take your vitamins - COMPLETED
16. Drink at least 50 ounces of water - COMPLETED
17. Wash your teeth - COMPLETED
18. Read from your book from the beginning for at least 10 minutes - COMPLETED
19. Finish and send the expense report - COMPLETED
20. Work on FS project for one hour - RESCHEDULED
21. Do your brain training exercises - COMPLETED

Me. OK

R. Check back in with me later today to let me know how you're doing

Me. Will do. Thanks! :clap


----------



## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Checking in

R. What's up?

Me. Still feeling tense

R. Why?

Me. Haven't heard back from HS, which makes me nervous.

R. What can you do about it?

Me. I can send an email to H to check in

R. Okay

Me. But I'm afraid to do so out of fear of getting rejected

R. My advice would be to check in later today

Me. Okay


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to vent

R. Go for it

Me. I'm so f'ing pissed off at K

R. Why?

Me. Because she keeps trying to schedule that f'ing meeting with an unqualified opportunity. Don't waste my f'ing time! She's such an f'ing nag sometimes. Really pisses me off!

R. She's just trying to do her job

Me. So, f'ing do it already! Do what I asked her to do and if it's a real opp, then we'll talk. Otherwise don't waste my f'ing time.

R. Do you think maybe you are over reacting?

Me. What do you mean?

R. I mean is it really worth you getting so worked up?

Me. Not really if I think about it

R. Here's my advice. You have already told her that you want her to take the call, right?

Me. Yes, twice actually

R. Okay, then it's done. Move on

Me. Okay. I think it's just that I'm feeling overwhelmed. I feel like I have so much to get done, but I'm not getting it done.

R. That sounds like an easy fix

Me. How

R. Create a to do list and then schedule out when you're going to work on the project. Then set aside 3 hours to work on it. Not more complicated than that.

Me. Hmm

R. Get your house in order by doing a 6-minute drill then get after it. If you want to close your eyes for 24 minutes, go for it. Then just muster up the drive and intensity to get after it!

Me. Okay. Thanks. It was helpful to get this off my chest >


----------



## Renovation

NEED TO VENT

Me. Have a bunch of stuff I desperately need to get off my chest.

R. Let's hear it.

Me. I'm just going to go stream of conscious

R. Go for it.

Me. I'm frustrated that f'ing R never responded to my email. This means she's thinking of canceling our services and will not be renewing and that she's going to go with AG. This is terrible. 

R. What else?

Me. I'm f'ing pissed that f'ing EC has not done squat to help with FS. Other than one meeting which wasn't particularly helpful, he hasn't done squat and has not contributed one iota to this project. That's absolutely fed up!

R. What else?

Me. I'm an inferior ____. M is so much better than me. It just pisses me off. I can never do what he does as well as he does.

R. What else?

Me. This deal with S is starting to bug the **** out of me. So much contract bull**** over such a small deal. I'm so f'ing sick and tired of going back and forth about so much BS.

R. What else?

Me. K is always f'ing sick. It's always some sort of bull**** excuse about not being able to get stuff done. I'm sick and tired of it. She hasn't created any substantial opportunities. I'm just wasting my money on her.

R. What else?

Me. Where the f is the product? Found another issue today. It's fed up!!

R. What else?

Me. That's it, but I feel like **** going into the long weekend. I feel like a loser!

R. Okay. Let's talk it out one by one.

Me. Ok

R. In terms of R and FS you just need to deliver what you have been delivering which is excellent work. Be prepared to wow her the next time you meet. Do you really think she's going to cancel with so much work still left to be done? I think that the next time you get in front of her you will be right where you need to be. You have to trust in your relationship and your doing great work. Plus you're disregarding the positive. She suggested you meet with RT. She suggested you meet with RM. She agreed to meet next week. She sent you stuff. She agreed to the meeting next week and said she would look at her schedule. She sent you the info about LB. Lots of positive signals that you're minimizing. Agree?

Me. I suppose I hadn't fully thought this through and did immediately jump to worst case scenario thoughts. There are a lot of positive signals. I will look to blow her socks off in next meeting. 

R. Regarding EC. He said he would get you stuff. He said he would check his files. So, fair to assume that he will. Look to have a conversation with him by Monday. Have a conversation with him about FS and your hopes relative to his involvement. Be frank with him about R's feedback.

Me. Okay. I suppose it doesn't make a lot of sense for me to get overly flustered about this. I can assume that he will get me stuff that will be useful for conversation with Renee. I know I can take whatever he has and turn it into gold. I'm actually excited about building the U program from scratch. I'm learning a ton. It's my hobby so it's not work. It's awesome that I get paid good money to learn and build content I can repurpose.


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## Renovation

R. Let's keep going. Regarding feeling inferior to MG, you know you can create and deliver even better content. You have done this before and you can do it again. For you the key is to being prepared. 

Me. Yeah, but he has better stories than I do. I can't tell stories about my son. 

R. You can tell other stories. Tell your Gartner story. Tell your Xerox story. Tell your Symantec story. Tell story about landing huge million dollar deal clients with major brands. Tell story about raising venture funding. 

Me. Okay. This is very helpful. Thank you!


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## Renovation

R. Let's finish up with the last two items.

Me. Ok

R. Regarding K your best bet is to think it only takes one deal to keep PB going and bridge you to DF. That's it. That's all you need to think about. And from that perspective, you have a number of opportunities so take a breather. Give it a rest for a couple of days. Same goes for the product. Maybe drop hp a note, but beyond that just use your time to create content. 

Me. She gets on my nerves. She's not doing enough. 

R. It's time to think about doing some marketing. Maybe you ask EC to manage K and commit to check in with her once a week. This would be a huge help.

Me. You've given me some good ideas.

R. Overall you have to admit that things are going an order of magnitude better than they were 10 months ago.

Me. Yes, overall, that is definitely true. That is definitely true. I will enjoy a wonderful and productive workation! Thanks!


----------



## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Okay. My goal is to get in a much better mindset.

R. What's up?

Me. I'm still feeling frustrated

R. Why?

Me. I can't shake my anger at K. I'm still pissed that she's doing squat. Her June performance was terrible.

R. That sounds like a fairly subjective observation. Just a couple of weeks ago, you were getting ready to buy her something as a token of your appreciation for how good a job she was doing. This was made on the assumption about HS closing and S closing and CL closing. Isn't that right?

Me. Yes.

R. Well, my advice is that for your own peace of mind that you reframe your thinking.

Me. What do you mean?

R. Let's come up with a list of reasons why you COULD be delighted about having K on the team.

Me. Ok

R. 1. She takes the load of prospecting off your plate 

Me. That is significant. I can't even imagine having to do that on my own. It would be too time consuming and stressful. That in and of itself is a tremendous benefit. No doubt about it!

R. 2. She created the opportunity at S

Me. That is significant. She did a tremendous job to convince the entire management team including the head guy to do this program with us. I have to give her a ton of credit for that. Even though it's not a huge revenue generator, it will bring in a nice chunk of change for August. So it's revenue, plus, more importantly, it's a great opportunity for us. I'm worried about the product but that has nothing to do with K. Net, net, she truly did a great job of single handedly winning the Square opportunity.

R. 3. She created the HS opportunity

Me. Yes that's true I also need to give her credit for finding this opportunity and of doing such a great job on the initial call with H that he eventually agreed to meet with us. If we win this deal, she deserves a ton of credit.

R. 4. She found EC

Me. Yes, she did. And she did such a great job that he eventually agreed to join in large part because he sees her as a very valuable asset. This is also a very big deal. Having EC as your partner is adds tremendous credibility and will allow you to win business you otherwise wouldn't win.

R. 5. She found CL

Me. That's also very significant because this relationship has the potential to become a tremendous lead source. Being able to do joint marketing and getting them to agree to share their presence at DF is huge. Truly huge! That's a great opportunity for us and it would not have occurred if it weren't for K. That's for sure.

R. 6. She's building a pipeline. 

Me. That's also true. She's has a number of other opportunities that she has created. And it only takes a couple more.

R. So, now what do you think?

Me. This exercise was very helpful because it helped me look at the bigger picture. From a wider perspective, she truly has made a VERY significant contribution. She is a great gal. Very strong work ethic. Very disciplined. Great attitude. Have to give her major credit for working out of her home and being so tenacious. I'm very, very grateful to have her on the team!

R. Excellent

Me. Thank you so much this was exceptionally helpful. I'm feeling so much better!

R. I'm so happy to hear that. You're a good man with a lot of wonderful qualities. I'm delighted to hear you feel better. Enjoy the rest of the weekend. Do me a favor. Take an email sabbatical for the next 24 hours. 

Me. Deal. I'm going to focus on my well being. Going to take a nice shower. I'll shave and maybe I'll even buy myself a little something. Time to enjoy life.


----------



## Renovation

NEED TO VENT

ME. HOT THOUGHTS: I'm working with a bunch of incompetent m*** f***! We had an 8am meeting. The client had to reschedule and sent us a note early morning. Why in the f*** didn't these m*** f*** not respond with availability way before the meeting? We should have had this taken care of way before. I responded at 630am. K didn't respond until 10 meetings before the call. E didn't respond until after 8. Un-be-f'ing-lieveable! And it's "Does this work for you?" not "Does this work with you" you f'ing idiot!

I'm frustrated because I don't want to berate these two, but it is f'ing frustrating at how f'ing incompetent and lazy these people are. What time do these people wake up?

The other day f'ing K forgot to do the only thing she was supposed to do. When I called her on it, she said "I'm sorry. What else do you want me to do?"

RR. COOL THOUGHTS: You have cause for concern, but my advice is to not let it linger. Come back into the present moment for your own sake and that of your mind and spirit. If you want to be a good disciple, you can't walk around with so much anger. It doesn't help. Show maturity, wisdom, and grace. Pray for grace, patience, and forgiveness. Breath a few times and be kind and enthusiastic.

ME. Good advice. Thank you!


----------



## Renovation

Me. Need to vent

R. Go for it

Me. I'm really tense

R. Why?

Me. I have so much to do and feel like I'm falling behind

R. What else?

Me. Frustrated with K and E about this morning and with K not getting **** done like she is supposed to

R. What else?

Me. I wish my all the stuff on my to do list was already done

R. What else?

Me. I was pissed because M hadn't responded to my email

R. And?

Me. Well, he responded and wished me a nice vacation. So all is good there.

R. Does that feel good?

Me. Yes. It's a relief actually to know we are good. Was worrying that he was going to ask me to take a smaller percentage but not likely

R. Does that feel good?

Me. Yes. It does.

R. Anything else feel good?

Me. Well, yes. It feels good that R and I seem to be back on good terms. That's also relief.

R. Why?

Me. For awhile there I was getting nervous that she was pissed at me and that the gig might be up, but now it looks like she's excited for us to continue to work together on this project, which is fantastic.

R. That's good. So what else?

Me. Things are actually pretty good. I'm not used to this, so still kind of stressed

R. Okay. I want you to have a nice vacation and to RELAX. You deserve it.

Me. Yeah, but I still will be doing some work 

R. That's okay so long as you manage it.

Me. Ok

R. Let's come up with a list of reasons why you should feel optimistic about the business, which is always your main stressor.

Me. Ok

R. Here goes

1. The FS project is going extremely well. The fact that B loved the model is awesome news. You continue to do great work. Be kind and enthusuastic with R.
2. Because of this there is very nice upside potential at FS 
3. Things are looking very, very good at HS, which is also very exciting and a nice source of income. This would be a major win and highly leverageable from a c__ perspective.
4. This will also allow us to build a product in this category, which is also great
5. The SQ project is also off to a strong start. This will also be a nice source of short term income.
6. The C project is also off to a good start and will also bring some nice income
7. The A project is still out there for later this year and that also will bring in some nice income
8. So will the BG project
9. You also have an opportunity at PR later this year
10. Don't forget about the TW opp
11. There is also upside potential from deals K is working on
12. There is also DF later this year which has the potential to be significant
13. I'd be optimistic about the opportunities you can personally generate and encourage you to get after it
14. You haven't started to tap into the potential of working with EC

Me. Wow. That is really good,

R. Listen you have plenty of reason to be optimistic and you certainly have no reason to feel worried in the short term. In other words, you can give yourself permission to enjoy life. 

Me. Yeah, but I'm always fearful about the future

R. I understand why you would be predisposed to feel this way given your history and how challenging the last few years have been. Truly understand this. My advice to you is to begin to practice happiness exercises. It's okay to be happy. And it's okay to focus on your happiness and health, and, most importantly, on the happiness and well being of others starting with BLCC.

Me. Okay. Thank you. This has been surprisingly helpful. Wasn't sure it would be, but it was. Thanks!


----------



## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to vent

R. Let's hear it

Me. I'm on vacation but I'm feeling tense

R. Why?

Me. Well, for one, K keeps putting pressure on me about SQ.

R. What do you mean?

Me. She tells me the client is upset because we have to wait two weeks, but there is not a lot I can do because I absolutely refuse to take any meetings this week other than the ones we have lined up for today. I need a break.

R. Well it sounds like K has communicated this back to the client, so you can only do so much. Plus, it doesn't seem like she's panicking now although she was panicking earlier. My advice to you is to work on the SQ messaging this week - make sure to add it to your to do list. You enjoy doing this type of work, so you will look forward to it. You can also push this off until the weekend. You can start research this week at a high level. I don't want you to feel pressured. You need time to decompress and think about the business.

Me. Okay. Thanks this is very helpful. 

R. What else?

Me. Well I have to admit I'm a bit concerned about the HS call.

R. Why?

Me. Well, it's still not 100% that we got the deal. And, then, if we do, it's going to be a lot of work.

R. My advice is that you prep for the meeting. Review the project timeline and prep your talking points.

Me. That will definitely help.

R. What else?

Me. Having the conversation with R. I wish we would have had it last week. She's so pushy. 

R. Here is my advice on the perspective you should take. She's the one who is funding your vacation. That great meal you had last night. She paid for it. The great workout you had this morning. She paid for it. The fantastic and healthy breakfast you had this morning, she paid for it. The phenomenal hotel you're staying at. She paid for it.

Me. That's great advice. You're absolutely right. I will be super positive and make sure to get myself into a great mindset for our call. I'm now looking forward to it. It will be great to catch up!

R. What else?

Me. Well, I still need to review the product and I'm nervous that I'll find a bunch of issues or I won't like what I see.

R. For one, that's not a useful perspective. How about getting excited about seeing the progress, similar to how you're working with G. Another way to look at this is how exciting to see your vision coming close to being realized.

Me. That's true. I'll put it down on my to do list to look at tomorrow.

R. Anything else?

Me. Well I do feel a bit of pressure to balance work and making sure my wife is having a good time during vacation. This is the first vacation we have taken in a couple of years. We both need it.

R. Your wife is awesome and super understanding. Try to get your work done during her pool time. I'm sure you can make it work for the both of you. 

Me. Ok. Thanks!

R. The one thing I want you to work on this week is relaxation. I want you to do breathing and stretching exercises and maybe a few meditations. Make sure to pray every day. Focus on being cool under pressure, dynamic, and loving.

Me. Okay. Thank you. Excellent advice! Really appreciate it!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. I'm back. Need to decompress.

R. What's up?

Me. Just got off the phone with R and E and I'm a bit frustrated

R. Why?

Me. R gets on my nerves some times. She thinks she knows it all and what's everything done today. She's read an article and now think she's an expert. We showed her examples of best-in-class and she didn't think it was good enough. Thought that it didn't pertain.

R. I listened and it sounded like she came around at the end. You left the call on a very good note. She's happy with you and the direction the project is going which is a big difference to how you left your last call. So, I'd say things are better after the call than they were before. 

Me. That's true. That's a very good perspective. Thanks for helping me think this through. Feel much better now. Thanks!


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## Renovation

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Me. Need to vent

R. Let's hear it

Me. I am absolutely, positively pissed off at E. 

R. Why?

Me. Because I feel that primarily because of him we might lose the HS deal

R. Why do you say that?

Me. Because he didn't want to lower our price. I'm also pissed off at myself because my instinct was to come in at or much closer to their budget. The customer told us where the price needed to be and we decided to still provide a higher quote. We didn't discount. I'm pissed that E took the stance that we didn't need to lower the price. That's a fed up position. It's fed that he said he was going to protect K's commission. What he potentially did was completely eliminate it. The position should have been what do we need to do to win this deal not how can we protect our premium price. 

R. I can understand why you would be disappointed. Let me offer some advice.

Me. Okay

R. First, you don't know whether you won or lost. Second, this is definitely a situation where you need to take a look at the bigger picture. 

Me. What do you mean?

R. Assuming you lost, while it's very disappointing, you have to thank God that you have plenty of other sources of income, so in perspective it's not devastating.

Me. That's a fair point, but I'm still pissed

R. It's understandable but just like in sports there will be wins and losses. Competitive athletes get highly disappointed after a big loss. That's perfectly natural. But they also bounce back. 

Me. That's true.

R. Now this is a good trigger to for you to put emphasis on taking responsibility for building a pipeline.

Me. Good point. This was helpful. Thanks.


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## Renovation

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Me. Checking back in

R. How are you doing?

Me. Hate to say it but assuming the worst. 

R. Really?

Me. In some ways it helps me to better deal with a potential loss emotionally 

R. Tell me about that

Me. Well in some ways I got my angst out of the way 

R. What do you mean?

Me. Well I already went worst case scenario so was able to think through with your help how to handle this situation if this is what ends up happening

R. What did you come up with?

Me. That we all make mistakes and that it's no use to make a federal case out of it

R. What else?

Me. That you have to look at the bigger picture and consider the good things that are happening and give thanks for these. This thought process helped to acknowledge that there are many positives that should give me solace and help me feel optimistic

R. Like?

Me. Like FS. That's a huge relief. Plus the projects I'm working with MG.

R. What else?

Me. Some of the opps that K is creating

R. What else?

Me. The opp with TWR

R. What else?

Me. The reaction to the product

R. What else?

Me. Opportunities that are out there that we can and will find. We have a strong message and product.

R. Okay. So some good things and also no reason to panic, right?

Me. That's right. Fortunately, the FS opp looks like it can go into 2016, which is awesome. Plus, there's income from other projects. So we have lots of breathing room, so I can continue to focus on my physical transformation, which is important to me.

R. That's great. Make fitness a core value and it will serve you well

Me. Thanks for listening. Super helpful to have someone to help me think things through. Thanks!


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## Renovation

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Me. Need to vent

R. Let's hear it

Me. I'm frustrated because f'ing K didn't respond to my email. That just pisses me off. I don't give a **** that it's the f'ing weekend. She should have gotten back to me by now!

R. What else?

Me. It's also fed up that it took EC so f'ing long to get back to me. He calls me at the last possible moment so doesn't have time to speak. That's way fed up!

R. What else?

Me. I'm pissed N didn't want to go out today, so I got stuck at home because she didn't feel like going out. That's way fed up and selfish.

R. What else?

Me. Well, I'm really poised that f'ing HP hasn't gotten back to me. I have an important meeting tomorrow and need to be able to give them product status. It's absolutely fed up that I have no f'ing clue when the f'ing product is going to be ready that is way fed up!M

R. Here is my perspective. Bigger picture you felt better about K when you learned she had a good call with B, right?

Me. Yes, I was relieved and got the sense she did a very good job on the call.

R. That's the bigger issue. She will get back to you with a friendly note. I'd focus on the progress she made with B. That's goodness.

Me. Okay. Thanks.

R. Regarding EC I'd also focus that thanks to him you were able to extend FS and land HS. You're on good speaking terms. You do feel good about having him on the team, right!

Me. Absolutely!

R. Regarding HP I'd just say to hang tight because he always comes through. You can always set up the account and start the design process. Just tell S that you are coming out with a new release and want to have them use this but that we can get started with the design even if it's not ready.

Me. Fair enough. It helped get this of my chest. Thanks!


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## Renovation

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Me. Need to vent

R. Go for it

Me. K is driving me absolutely nuts. She is f'ing up left and right.

R. How so?

Me. Yesterday she sent me a very curse note. It was absolutely rude and then she says "I'm sorry you interpreted it that way that wasn't my intention". It ruined my day. I was pissed of the rest of the day. This 20-something telling me that it's my problem that I misinterpreted what she said, not that she fed up. I later showed her what she could have done instead and then she says she just was responding quickly. That I said is precisely the problem, I said. Take a f'ing moment to think before you do something stupid. You've done this multiple times. An own the f*** up when you make a mistake instead of making lame brain excuses.

R. What else?

Me. Then this morning she sent out the wrong information and I end up having to wait on the phone for 15 minutes wondering where the f everybody is. When we finally get on the phone, she says "my bad". You f'ing idiot. I f'ing hate it when someone f's up and then says "my bad". "I said I'm sorry". What else do you want me to do?". How about not f up so much.

R. What else?

Me. Then this afternoon she sends me a note with an attachment containing a bunch of useless information. I replied pointing this out and asking if we can get more data from the person that sent it to us and she doesn't respond. I then send her another note asking if I should contact that person and no response. This all happened within business hours. Just drives me f'ing nuts.

R. What do you mean?

Me. It drives me nuts that she makes so many f'ing mistakes, that she says my bad, that she says what else do you want me to say and that she doesn't respond. I hate when people don't respond in a timely manner especially when I'm f'ing paying them. And it's not like she didn't have the time. She had absolutely no meetings today other than the one I scheduled.

R. Let me give you some advice. Let it go. Shift your focus elsewhere. Go out enjoy time with N. It's a nice day. Get out and enjoy it. Say a prayer asking for patience, love, wisdom, kindness, and peace. Put yourself in a better mindset, because it's not worth it.

Me. Thank you. That really helped!

:grin2:


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## Renovation

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Me. This thing with K is really bothering me

R. Why?

Me. I think she is being hugely disrespectful by not responding to me in a prompt manner. I'm also tired of her incompetence and cluelessness when it comes to realizing she's incompetent.

R. What do you mean?

Me. The whole "why wasn't I informed?" bull****. That really pissed me off and hurt my feelings. I'm paying her a good chunk of change every month and they way she reacted was totally disrespectful. And her "I was just trying to understand" and "sorry YOU interpreted it that way" I translated as "don't be such a ***** - you're too sensitive". Plus, it pissed me off that she didn't accept responsibility until I pressed the issue.

R. That's good. What else?

Me. The latest issue is the spreadsheet she sent over. It had absolutely ZERO useful information. The fact she would be so f'ing clueless to send this to me pissed me off, especially when she had another spreadsheet with the right info. That's just incompetence. 

R. Ok. What else?

Me. Well. Then I send her a note asking her to go through the list and highlight the key data and to have this to me by end of next day. Perfectly reasonable. A 15 minute exercise she needs to do anyway. No response. That's so f'ing disrespectful. I don't know if it's a generational thing, but it just seems to me that if your manager asks you for something, you should at least have the professional courtesy to respond within a reasonable timeframe. I can see why she pissed off MC as much as she did. It's a contestant f-up, not take responsibility, get reprimanded, say a half *** I'm sorry, not accept responsibility, get pressed on that, and get a I said I'm sorry what else do you want me to do? cycle, which she always initiates through her f-ups.

R. Okay. So let's look at your options. You can discuss this with her. You can let it go. You can continue to stay angry. Which is it?

Me. Option three is not a good one. And I have discussed this with her and she has apologized and thanked me for the feedback about the first issue. So to be fair she has paid her penance for that issue. She also acknowledged her communication mistake. So the only remaining issue is the response to the email I sent, which in all likelihood will happen some time this morning. Given all this, I should just get on with my day and work toward putting positive energy out into the world.

R. That's right. So, go for it!

Me. Thank you. Very helpful to get all of this out of my system and put it in perspective.


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## Renovation

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Me. Lots on my mind

R. Let's hear it

Me. Okay. Yesterday I was absolutely pissed off at K. She was f'ing up. Calling on the wrong people. Did a terrible job of writing. Just absolutely pissed me off.

R. Why did it bother you so much?

Me. I was frustrated, worried, and afraid.

R. Afraid of what?

Me. Afraid that we would not be able to generate any more opportunities. I was afraid that the deal with FS will end at the end of the year and that we had no other major opportunities. 

R. What were you telling yourself?

Me. We're going to go out of business. The FS contract will end by year end and we don't have any more opportunities so we are never going to close any more business. Basically, we are fed and it's all K's fault. I'm such a loser. 

R. Cognitive distortions: magnification, fortune telling, jumping to conclusion, disqualifying the positive, mental filtering, all or nothing thinking, over generalization. 

Me. That's helpful

R. Let's break it down. You're completely disqualifying the many great opportunities you have in front of you. Like you explained to K this morning there are actually a lot of good things going on. Thank God for MG. You have FS through the end of the year. That's great. You also have opportunity for ongoing with FS next year although at a lower rate but it is income opportunity. Assume the product will work. The response is extremely positive. Extremely. This is not an exaggeration. You have a number of other projects. Having EC on the team is huge. You're going to DF in September. You just landed HS. SQ is now a customer. That's huge.

Me. You're right. Lots of good things going on. Time to enjoy the weekend. Thank you for helping me get all this off my chest. I've been carrying it with me the last two days and it had really been weighing me down. So thank you!

R. You got it.


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## Renovation

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Me. Need to vent

R. Let's hear it

Me. F'ing K pisses me off!

R. Why?

Me. She's got her panties in a wad because a customer is threatening to cancel a project.

R. Oh?

Me. They have been expecting the product for a while now and it still is not ready, which is frustrating in and of itself.

R. I bet

Me. Nonetheless, a large reason for the delay is because the f'ing client is f'ing clueless. You have a super junior person who doesn't know squat and their department head has a fancy degree but has ZERO experience doing what he is doing. So it's a bit of a cluster f***.

R. I can understand why you would be frustrated, but let's figure out how not to get overly or needlessly over emotional about it because you don't want to ruin your day. On the contrary, you want to have a great day. Right?

Me. Absolutely

R. Okay, so here is my advice. You have already communicated to HP. You know that you can set up the client by week end even if the product is not completely ready. Right?

Me. Yes. We have a version we can install right now, if we chose to and it will be sufficient to meet their requirements.

R. Okay, then problem solved. You communicated this to K, right?

Me. Yes

R. She communicated this to the client, right?

Me. I'm assuming she has, yes.

R. Okay then let go of your anger toward K. She's stuck in the middle. This is a big deal to her. She doesn't have your level of experience, so she's panicking. You also weren't surprised, were you?

Me. Not really

R. Good, then have a great rest of the day. Stay focused and make today a super productive day.

Me. Okay, I will. Thanks! This was super helpful! :grin2:


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## Renovation

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Me. Need to vent

R. Let's hear it

Me. I'm frustrated that I haven't heard back from HP so I can't respond to SQ. This is very frustrating. I was hoping I would have at least heard back from him by now. What I am asking for is doable. We just need to install the product, so I know we can do it. 

R. What else?

Me. I'm pissed that HP hasn't at least responded. It's putting us/me in a very difficult situation. There's no good reason why he wouldn't have at least gotten back to me. 

R. What else?

Me. On top of this RC is emailing me every five minutes with more work. It's starting to get on my nerves.

R. Okay. Let me give you some advice.

Me. Please do

R. Regarding the first situation you have two choices. Schedule a meeting for tomorrow or try to get it pushed to Monday. Ideally, try to buy yourself a bit more time. The other option is to wait until later this morning to see if you hear back from HP and then react. I think waiting two hours is your only option. If you don't hear back, then you have no choice but to try to push the meeting until Monday. So wait for now.

Me. Okay. 

R. Regarding RC. Go with the flow. The new task is doable. Have a great attitude. Say "happy to do it!".

Me. Okay. Good advice. I'll hang tight and move forward with a very positive, friendly, kind, supportive, and grateful attitude with RC. Thanks!


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## Renovation

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Me. Need to get some stuff out of my system

R. Let's hear it. What are you angry, anxious or frustrated about?

Me. For one, I'm pissed that f'ing HP has still not correctly finished the thing he was suppose to have completed three months ago. I'm also pissed that he hasn't response to my emails. The only solace I have is that he has always come through in the past. He also hasn't opened the email yet. The other reason for hope is that MM believes this is a fixable issue and that we are almost there. The other good news is that we don't need this particular thing for SQ.

R. Here's my take on this. I recognize this can be frustrating, but I'd take a deep breath and have faith and confidence in HP and MM. Also, there are a lot of good things happening relative to the product like the PBM and the fact it's running at BB. So that's good stuff. So my advice is to focus on everything else you have to do.

Me. Okay

R. What else?

Me. I'm pissed that it's taking so f'ing long to get the f'ing emails out. Don't over complicate it. Just send the f'ing email. 

R. You made your point and it appears they got the message. What else?

Me. I'm just tense because I have so much to do and feel overwhelmed.

R. For one, thank God you're busy.

Me. Amen to that. You're absolutely right. These are gifts I'm getting from God, so rather than complain, I should give thanks and just apply myself.

R. Exactly

Me. Okay, that's it for now. Thanks for helping me sift through all this and put it in perspective. Very helpful! Thanks!


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## Renovation

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Me. Lots on my mind

R. Let's hear it. What's making you angry?

Me. I'm pissed that it's taking so f'ing long to fix the DM issue. Driving me nuts.

R. It does seem to be taking a long time, so the question is how to best response in order to enable you to continue working productively and in a positive state

Me. That's why I'm here

R. My first bit of advice is to put it in perspective. Don't over exaggerate the situation. Second, put a plan in place to fix the problem.

Me. I just created a plan that will hopefully help.

R. The other thing to think about is that MM who is an expert on the topic has told you it is a solvable problem.

Me. I definitely trust MM and also HP.

R. Here's the other bit of advice I'll give you.

Me. I'm listening

R. Put your head down and keep working on the FS project. Just stay after it. Spend between now and 3pm working on it.

Me. Ok. Thanks for letting me vent. That was helpful.


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## Renovation

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Me. Frustrated

R. What's up?

Me. I'm super frustrated with EC

R. Why?

Me. We had an 8am call with a major prospective client this morning and the MF claimed it wasn't on his calendar. He's done this so many times. It's super frustrating.

R. I can understand why you would be frustrated

Me. He's letting everyone down

R. Let's get specific here. He claimed he wasn't available this morning so what we are talking about very specifically is his availability for this morning's meeting.

Me. But he has done this sort of thing multiple times. Moreover, we have asked him to do a little bit of work and he hasn't done that.

R. I know it's hard, but let's look at what he has done. You're major concern is to what degree he is engaged, right?

Me. Exactly

R. He went to HS last week and wrote you a note about how well his meetings were going. He wanted to speak with you about P.

Me. Yes, that's true, but I'm still questioning his engagement

R. The best way to test this is to follow-up with him regarding P.

Me. OK

R. In terms of cognitive distortions, you have them all covered here. 


All-or-nothing thinking - he doesn't ALWAYS act irresponsibly. 

Filtering - you're only focusing on the negative. 

Jumping to conclusions / fortune-telling - his not being available for this call doesn't mean he is leaving the company

Me. OK

R. I think you are being needlessly paranoid. You have to give him some credit. He went out to HS last week on his own dime. He is totally engaged in that project. He wrote you a note about how we're going to knock it out of the park. Does that sound like someone who isn't engaged?

Me. You're right. I have to admit that reading his excitement fired me up.

R. He also did a great job during the call with P, right?

Me. Yes, he absolutely did.

R. He was also very excited when you let him know the call with P went very well, right?

Me. That's also true

R. Here's my advice. Speak with him today to discuss P, HS, FS and DF. In the interim, you have a lot on your plate, so get after it. I recommend you focus on taking great care of yourself today. Drink lots of water. Do relaxation exercises, etc.

Me. OK. Thanks for letting me get this stuff off my chest.


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## Renovation

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Me. I'm angry 

R. Why?

Me. I'm pissed that I have so much work to do. I'm pissed that f'ing K is telling me what to do. I'm pissed that I'm feeling lost. I'm frustrated that HP has f'ing finished building out the f'ing product especially since he showed us it working last week. I'm pissed he hasn't responded. I'm pissed at K being so f'ing needy. I'm pissed that I made progress on my fitness goal then regressed. I'm pissed that R is emailing me every five f'ing minutes with some bull**** problem. I'm pissed I didn't get any credit for the work I did in RT's email. I'm pissed that f'ing TA thinks he's the worlds f'ing expert on working out. I'm pissed that MM hasn't figured out how to get the product installed. I'm pissed that f'ing E hasn't done any f'ing work when we have made it so f'ing easy for him to do his job. I'm pissed that f'ing G makes little design mistakes that prolong the process. I'm pissed that some people take forever to order there food or go the bathroom in a public bathroom - what are they taking a f'ing bath in there? How f'ing rude! I'm pissed that f*** at the hotel gym was such a f'ing douche bag. I'm pissed at people who act like they're superior or self entitled. F*** you!

R. That's really good. Now what could you potentially feel good about?

Me. I could feel good about the great weather we've had. I could feel good about having the flexibility in my schedule to be able to go to a Starbucks and journal. I could feel good about the fact I have lost 8 pounds in the last few months and look stronger. I could feel good that I'm making progress in my fat loss. I could feel good that I have a wife I love deeply. I could feel good that my wife feels happy, loved, and secure. I could feel good that I have a loving sister and dad. I could feel good that E is a great addition to the team. I could feel good that K is creating opportunities we would not have been able to create on our own. I could feel good about the great work HP and G have done to build a product people love. I could feel good about the reaction we are getting to the product. I could feel good about our lovely home. I could feel good about the income I'm earning from the FS project. I could feel good about the HS project. I could feel good about the SQ project. I could feel good about the P opportunity. I could feel good about the opportunities I get to work on with MG. I could feel good about the exciting opportunity DF presents. I could feel good about how excited BM is to work with us. I could feel good about the great gym I belong to and how close it is to home. I could feel good that I had a delicious salad for dinner last night. I could feel good that our car is running well. I could feel good that Dad is surrounded by loved ones. I could feel good that I have a cafe to go to to take a break. I could feel good about the Nutribullet and how easy it is to make delicious and healthy smoothies. I could feel good about the online fitness group I belong to and how it's helping me be accountable. I could feel good about about the the daily encouragement I get from Coach M. I could feel good about the great relationship I have with R. I could feel good about the great relationship I have with MG. I could feel good about being able to afford eating healthy. I could feel good about my gym buddies. I could feel good about my new boots. I could feel good about our film club friends. I could feel good about the beautiful church I get to go to. I could feel good about the role that faith and love of God is having on my life. I could feel good about my health and how I look. I could feel good about not having to go to an office every day. I could feel good about not having to shave every day. I could feel good about being able to wear gym clothes all day. I could feel good about my Levi's jeans. I could feel good about the delicious coffee I get to drink every morning. I could feel good about the beautiful area we live in. I could feel good about how nice the barista at Starbucks is to me every morning. I could feel good about learning about the gentleman working at Starbucks who got sick and has two young sons and how inspiring and humbling it was to learn about him. I could feel good about the great conversation I had with my sister yesterday. I could feel good about my workout routine. I could feel good about the app I use to track my fitness progress. I could feel good about the beautiful garden next to my gym.

R. Did that help?

Me. Big time. Thank you!!


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## Renovation

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Me. I am so frustrated right now and feel paralyzed

R. What's going on?

Me. HP has not responded to my or MM's emails. We are at a critical stage and all of a sudden HP goes AWOL. It's especially frustrating because he showed us the fix to the problem last week, so don't understand why it is taking him so long to fix the problem and why he has not responded to the emails. It's especially frustrating because it's impacting customers.

R. Hmm

Me. I'm also frustrated because I don't know if MM knows what he needs to know and he also hasn't gotten back to me. I responded to his email and then haven't heard back.

R. I understand why you would be frustrated.

Me. I'm feeling paralyzed and don't have the mental energy to work on anything else until we have this resolved.

R. I'm afraid you don't have a choice. You can't just bury your head in the sand and wait for this problem to resolve itself. And you can't afford to put your other responsibilities on hold. In other words, you have to be very mentally tough. Work in 12-minute chunks. You can do it!

Me. I suppose so

R. Listen. This is one of those times where you just need to get after it. Period. Take action.

Me. OK


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## Renovation

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Me. I'm feeling super lazy and don't quite know what to do about it

R. Why do you think this is?

Me. Definitely stressed out about the product and about how much work I have to do

R. Go on

Me. The issue we had at SQ really threw me for a loop. On one hand I'm pissed it took so f'ing long to finally get it up and running. On another, I'm scared something might go wrong when it is up and running.

R. I see

Me. It's frustration and anger that things having taken so long and fear about the unknown and how we have so much on the line

R. Now that you have the product working, does that feel better?

Me. Yes. It does feel good to see the product working in the customer's environment. It definitely felt good. That's for sure.

R. Good. So what needs to get done?

Me. A bunch of stuff, starting with rebuilding the PB

R. How long do you think this will take?

Me. I'm guessing 3 hours

R. What else?

Me. I want to complete the FS pre-BC stuff by the end of this weekend.

R. What do you still have left to do?

Me. I pretty much completed the first three sections. The last one was the most complex and time-consuming. The C, S and P sections should be easier because not as much stuff.

R. Do you think you could get a lot done in 2-3 hours?

Me. Yes

R. OK. Here's my advice. Spend 1 hour on SQ tonight and then finish up tomorrow after your workout. Then spend 1 hour on FS tomorrow and 2 more on Sunday.

Me. OK

R. Does that seem doable?

Me. Yes

R. Will you feel more caught up?

Me. Yes

R. How good will it feel once you are able to mark all those tasks off your to do list?

Me. GREAT!! It will feel great. It will feel like I'm back on track.

R. Good. So enjoy the rest of the afternoon. Have an early dinner with the wife and then put the timer on for 1 hour, put on Sports Center in the background and just do it!

Me. OK. Thanks so much for helping me think this through. I feel so much better!

:grin2:


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## Renovation

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Me. I am SUPER frustrated!

R. Let's hear it.

Me. I'm sick and f'ing tired of working with such incompetent people!

R. Go on

Me. Yesterday I'm starting a very important business call when f'ing K__ calls me with some bull**** emergency. She knew I had this call but yet she panics and has to interrupt me because her **** is so important. I didn't pick up because I knew it was some bull**** emergency about the hotel that she would somehow have to figure out on her own and there was nothing I could do about it. She is so f'ing clueless some times.

R. What else?

Me. Then she and E were 30 minutes late for an important meeting on Wednesday. Such poor planning on their part and they didn't tell our guests that I was already at the restaurant. Such f'ing losers.

R. What else?

Me. Then f'ing K calls me again in the middle of the day because she needed a password. Write the f'ing password down for goodness sake! Such a f'ing moron!

R. What else?

Me. F'ing E is ALWAYS late. The only thing you can count on is his being late or not doing what he said he would do. He kept me waiting for 30 minutes the other day. So f'ing rude!

R. What else?

Me. Then there is Chicken Little R. The sky is always falling down with her and I'm supposed to drop f'ing everything because she panics.

R. What else?

Me. So I sent K an email in response to hers where I told her that I was surprised she hadn't taken care of an issue so I didn't have to get an emergency call from her. So f'ing immature!

R. What else?

Me. Well, I'm f'ing pissed off that she didn't respond. I have no idea as to whether she did a good job or a bad job this week. As far as I can tell, she just wandered around for three days and didn't create any legitimate opportunities because her f'ing feet hurt.

R. What?

Me. She insisted on wearing high heels and then complained her feet hurt. No f'ing kidding. So f'ing moronic. It's a f'ing trade show not a f'ing beauty pageant. Then she doesn't want to hang around the booth because she didn't like the partner who was there. Gave her bad "vibes". Do your f'ing job!

R. What else?

Me. I asked her, how did it go? She texts back 'good'. What the f does that mean? No f'ing clue what she did. So f'ing stupid valley girl bull****.

R. What else?

Me. The f'ing E doesn't reply to key emails.


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## Renovation

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Me. Still pissed at K and EC

R. Let me ask you this. Do you want to stay pissed? Do you like being this aggravated? Would you prefer to be in a better mood?

Me. Yes. I definitely would prefer to be in a better mood but I'm having a real tough time getting there.

R. Let's step through it.

EXTERNAL EVENT
Ks email to me on Friday night asking me for stuff that the customer asked of her

INTERNAL EVENTS

THOUGHTS
She's so f'ing bossy. I hate being told what to do by anyone especially a 20 something. Also who the f*** is this woman at the customer asking for this stuff. She's some f'ing bureaucrat and how come we didn't know about her beforehand? That's unprofessional. Also, quit nagging me about the f'ing form. I told you I would do it. She's always nagging me about something. And who is she to nag me when it's her fault in the first place that we even had this issue?

EMOTIONS
Anger, frustration, fear, overwhelmed, vengeful

BEHAVIOR 
I wrote a terse email response pointing out that she should have taken care of this issue earlier and that it was very unprofessional of her to try to interrupt my call with a customer because of poor planning on her part

DISADVANTAGES OF MY ANGER
1. I will be souring my relationship with K even more
2. Being irritable doesn't help


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. I'm super frustrated 

R. Why?

Me. I feel like a complete and total loser. I'm a big lazy ****.

R. You got up at 3 in the morning to do work and you call yourself a lazy ****? Come on, give me a break!

Me. Okay, but I'm really tired and sleepy

R. What do you expect? You got up at 3 in the morning and then did an intense one hour workout at 6. Of course, you're tired.

Me. Yeah, but now I'm too tired to do anything and I have so much to do.

R. Go on

Me. I feel like I am at an impasse with FS in terms of the project. I feel stuck.

R. Explain

Me. The work is so time consuming and requires so much concentration that I don't know if I can do it anymore.

R. You obviously can since you already have. What else?

Me. Well I'm feeling overwhelmed. So much to do. And I have to rely on others especially EC to do stuff and he never comes through. I don't trust him.

R. He's writing up contracts for you. Making connections. Working on projects with you. Writing proposals. Come on!

Me. I don't know what to do.

R. How about you get out of the house? Go to the dry cleaners. Maybe get the car washed. Maybe get a trim. Maybe do some reading. 

Me. Maybe I can go to the cafe on Union Street and read.

R. My advice is that you get out of the house. 

Me. Ok. Thanks for letting me vent. This helped!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Lots on my mind. Need to sort through stuff.

R. Let's hear it. Why are you frustrated or anxious?

Me. Well, it's a good problem to have, but I have a lot on my plate and I'm feeling overwhelmed.

R. Please explain

Me. Have the FS SU project. Have the FS SDR project. Have the HS project. Kicking off the EF project. Have the SQ project. Have the product project. Have the PR project proposal. Plus I'm traveling this week and will be in meetings most of the time. 

R. That is a lot, but let's not lose sight of what a blessing this is, so we need to come to this "problem" with a mindset of calmness, confidence, and loving kindness.

Me. You're absolutely right. I need to be grateful and approach this in a logical manner.

R. Okay, so let's just list out what you need to get done this week.

1. Complete the PR proposal - due tonight
2. Complete first stage HS project - due Wednesday night
3. SQ project - MM will handle this for you - thank God!
4. EF project - all you have to do is do a little research on Thursday before the call and then log in


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. I'm so f'ing frustrated right now

R. What's up?

Me. I'm super angry

R. Why?

Me. F'ing browser is not working. Computer is super slow. That pisses me off. Have to reboot, which takes for f'ing ever. System crashes because of Flash, which makes me hit the panic button because I start worrying about our product.

R. Okay, but what's really going on because this is just a minor and temporary inconvenience.

Me. Well, the main thing is that we haven't heard back from HP. So I immediately start catastrophizing. 

R. What do you mean?

Me. I imagine that he is going to quit or that because he is not responsive that the customer will think we are a bunch of f'ing idiots and that they will cancel the agreement.

R. What else?

Me. I then start thinking that this will put us out of business and I start feeling like a loser because we still don't have this issue resolved. I'm so frustrated and angry about this.

R. Explain

Me. Well I just heard from HP so feel better but still nervous and angry.

R. Let's hear it

Me. Well I have so much going on right now that I feel overwhelmed. And I'm just angry and fearful.

R. What are you angry about?

Me. I'm pissed that M bragged about how she and C are so f'ing daredevils. F*** them! I'm pissed because f'ing M didn't let me take a picture of his f'ing collection. What a f'ing douche bag. I'm pissed at R because he's so f'ing uppity. Thinking he's all better than me. I'm pissed that it takes so long to open gmail. I'm pissed that I put on almost two pounds in one day because I didn't have the discipline to not eat dessert last night. I feel like such a loser because of this. 

R. Now that you heard from HP don't you feel better?

Me. I guess, but I'm still nervous.

R. Why?

Me. Until we resolve the issue I won't be satisfied.

R. So you're saying that you are willing to make the decision to make yourself miserable, to stay angry and tense until Friday because of this? Because you realize that what are saying is that you choose to be nervous and angry. You also have the option to think, "It's great that HP was so responsive and that MM is confident this is a resolvable issue and that SQ seems very happy with how it's going."

Me. I could, but until I hear different I'm afraid that SQ is not happy.

R. In other words, you choose to imagine that SQ is not happy, right? You also could think that based on the last conversation that you had with B and the last conversation that M had with MR that they are using the product and are happy. You could also infer that all is good because you haven't heard about any issues from B. Based on her behavior thus far, don't you think that you would have heard from her if any other issues had come up?

Me. Yes, we probably would have heard something by now. That's true. I can take solace in this. I have to run but will come back later.

R. Ok.

Me. Thanks. Always helpful to have you help me put things in perspective.

R. No problem


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. I'm frustrated

R. Okay. Let's hear it. Why are you frustrated? What's causing you to feel frustrated?

Me. First of all, I'm frustrated that HP did not get back to us, so now we look like bad at SQ. This really pisses me off and there is nothing I can do about it. It frustrates me that hp is our only option for solving these problems and that he is not being responsive.

R. Well he was very responsive earlier this week wasn't he?

Me. Yes, but we need to be responsive all the time.

R. What are your options?

Me. I can speak with MM to strategize. I can continue to email and text hp. I can wait until 7pm my time to see if he responds or I can text him again at that time.

R. Listen I understand this is stressful. You have a plan in terms of what you can control and you've put it in place. My advice is that you do some relaxation exercises and focus elsewhere for now.

Me. Ok. I'm going to shut my eyes for a few minutes.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to vent

R. Go for it

Me. Just tons on my mind.

R. Let's hear it

Me. Super stressed out about SQ

R. Why?

Me. There is so much riding on it and I'm tired of waiting for the product to "ready".

R. What are you doing to manage this?

Me. I had MM set up a call with SQ and HP. Was supposed to have happened today, but SQ was out on Friday, so didn't get message until today and didn't have time.

R. So what happened?

Me. The meeting got rescheduled for tomorrow morning, but right at the same time I'm due to have another meeting, so I can't attend.

R. So what's going to happen?

Me. Well, HP agreed to join, so we have rescheduled and MM will manage

R. So what are you worrying about?

Me. I'm worried that HP won't be able to solve the problem and even if he is that we will have even more issues when we set up the new version

R. Well, you don't know this for a fact, do you?

Me. No

R. Is there a possibility that HP and MM could fix the problem during the call?

Me. Yes

R. Do you trust MM's judgement?

Me. Yes, he is very knowledgeable

R. How does he feel?

Me. He thinks it a fairly fixable problem

R. OK, so it would be reasonable to think that a positive outcome is possible, right?

Me. Yes

R. Regarding the new version, is it reasonable to believe that this is also doable? In other words, that the product will work?

Me. I suppose

R. Has SQ reported any issues lately?

Me. No, other than this issue they have not

R. Do you think they would have let you know if they did?

Me. Definitely

R. What was the tone of B's email last week

Me. Very positive. We have a good relationship.

R. OK, so what can you do to optimize the possibility of a positive outcome tomorrow.

Me. I can have MM do a test run to see if he can log in as me to GM and use it

R. Would knowing that he can make you feel better?

Me. Yes

R. OK. Then do this.

Me. OK. Thanks I feel better. Appreciate your advice!


----------



## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Been awhile since I was here. Have a bunch of stuff on my mind I need to think through.

RR. Okay, let's hear it.

Me. I have so many mixed feelings

RR. What do you mean?

Me. On the one hand, things are going really well

RR. Like?

Me. Well, the HS project went really well. We will invoice them for part two today. So that's really good. Plus we just invoiced FS for a nice amount. Plus have the EF project. As well as the YM project. As well as the FIS project. Plus, we have very real opportunities with P and BS. So a lot of good things going on. The best ever, frankly.

RR. That sounds great. So what's wrong?

Me. This morning I got an email from MM telling me he got an offer for a FT job that is lucrative. Completely caught me out off guard. It felt like a punch in the stomach.

RR. Tell me more

Me. He is playing a huge role in getting PM launched. And the idea is that he and his team would take over development, which would help us be more responsive and more quickly build new features. So the idea of this now not happening scares the heck out of me.

RR. So, the prudent thing to do is build a backup plan.

Me. You're right

RR. What are your options?

Me. One option is to offer HP a large contract. In essence, the same offer as MM. The idea would be to see if he could work with some of his colleagues on this project.

RR. That's a good one. Okay, what else?

Me. See if MM knows any body or could help me find somebody and have him work part-time, at least, for the short-term

RR. Here's my take. First, the problem is solvable. Second, thank God, you are in a position to be able to invest in this. Third, there are other options. So I suggest you spend 12 minutes to do a quick search and then speak with MM tomorrow. My advice for today is to focus on the positive. Don't catastrophize this. Just problem solve.

Me. Okay that's good advice. Will keep you posted.


----------



## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Feeling tremendous anger and frustration

R. Let's hear it. Let it out.

Me. Here goes.
1. Deeply frustrated and worried about MM situation. I feel completely powerless and don't like the option of continuing to have to rely on HP. This caught me completely off guard. It felt like a punch in the stomach. I was frankly very excited and relieved at the prospect of MM taking over the management of our product development. I feel angry, frustrated and deeply worried.

R. What else?
2. Deeply frustrated that I can't give RC a good answer about the deployment plan. I feel again so out of control. This is very frustrating given that MM is on vacation and we have no immediate plan.

R. What else?
3. I'm pissed that we haven't heard back from SF. it's close to a week and I have no idea what's going on and what are the possible next steps to get this issue resolved. We are dependent on them to get SQ additional privileges. Again completely out of my control and have no insight.

R. What else?
4. I'm pissed and frustrated that f'ing HP does not respond to my emails in a timely manner. Last I heard he was having an issue with his instance and I don't know if he has resolved it or is in the process of resolving it. Emailed him yesterday and no response.

R. What else?
5. I'm pissed it takes EC so long to respond. I worry that he is not completely in the game. 

R. What else?
6. I'm pissed that the product issue is still such a big issue


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Have some stuff I need to get out of my system

R. Let's hear it

Me. I'm pissed off

R. Why?

Me. I have been eating way too many carbs lately and ended up putting on five pounds when I was making such good progress. That f'ing pisses me off

R. How does that make you feel?

Me. It makes me feel like a loser. I'm so indisciplined. I'm an f'ing *****. 

R. Don't you think you're being a bit hard on yourself?

Me. What do you mean?

R. Well, the fact is that you have been under a lot of stress lately, so all things considered you're still in pretty good shape. You know that with just a little bit of effort you'll be back on track in a couple of weeks. Moreover, not great for the psyche when you're labeling yourself a loser.

Me. What else?

R. How about something along the lines of "I'm resilient and will bounce back. I will get in great shape and have already made great progress and I'm confident I can get back down to where I was. I can and will do it." Isn't that better and believable?

Me. Yes. It is. I do like that better. I'm back on track today. Got a good workout in this morning and are doing an excellent job on my diet.

R. Excellent. What else is up?

Me. Well, I'm pissed and embarrassed that I got some negative feedback about last week's presentation in front of my partner.

R. How did that make you feel?

Me. Like a complete and utter loser.

R. Okay. Let's break it down. How did you feel about your preparation?

Me. Good, not great. We literally practiced the presentation for the first time the night before. Ideally, I would have like to have had more time, but all told, I new my material and felt good about my knowledge of the material during the presentation.

R. Good. Did you feel confident during the presentation?

Me. I did. I felt very comfortable and confident

R. That's very positive.

Me. It is. I definitely felt good.

R. Do you think that in part it could have been the material?

Me. Yes. The portion I did was a lot of me talking and not a lot of interaction, so I could see how that might have been difficult for the audience. 

R. And didn't your partner also receive negative feedback the second day?

Me. He did. H said he was getting emails from people for him to speed up. And it was enough that he told the group that instead of emailing him to just raise their hand if they had an issue.

R. Okay. So it's not like you were terrible, right?

Me. No. In fact, I made a very strong argument in front of the group on the second day where I was basically fearless because I knew I knew better. Plus, I referenced a client that I had personally worked with that added a lot of credibility to my proposal.

R. Great. How was the feedback overall?

Me. Well. The client was very happy and want to bring us back, so that's the ultimate compliment. All told, the program was a great success particularly considering it was the very first time we did it. We were as they say, building the plane as we flew it. So, all in all, it was a great success and will make a great story for other prospects.

R. Great. What else?

Me. Well. I kind of feel like E now feels he's better than me.

R. Really? Did he say anything to that effect?

Me. No

R. My sense is that it's not a big deal and that he has a high opinion of you.

Me. I suppose

R. What else?

Me. Well. I had a really ****ty day yesterday and earlier in the week. I was completely burned out. I felt exhausted and completely lacking any control over my destiny. I was totally afraid that MM was going to take another job and then I and the company would be fed. I was so scared. I took everything that I had to get any work done. The possibility of his leaving coupled with 3-4 weeks of working non-stop plus the cross country travel left me completely spent. I went to church to pray for solace, grace and a positive resolution.

R. What happened?

Me. MM caught me completely off guard when he said that he didn't want to take the other job. I had already resigned myself to the fact he was going to take it and that he was going to tell me that he was after stability at this point in his career, which is what he said in his note to me. So I was expecting the worse. It hasn't sunk in yet that he's staying.

R. What does this mean to you?

Me. It means that we can move production locally. The idea of having someone in essence full time on the project and that is local and that I can trust is ideal. This will mean we will be able to develop new features faster and support customers. 

R. That sounds ideal

Me. It is. My current situation is that I have to deal with people overseas who are great guys but not as responsive as I'd like them to be. So, yes, this is ideal.

R. Any concerns?

Me. He put a pretty expensive price tag on what would be required to accompish this, which gave me some sticker shock.

R. But?

Me. The amount of time that is required to get the immediate next set of capabilities will not cost what he is estimating. He gave me a 12 month estimate. If I break it down, the first part is affordable and the subsequent phases and costs will be financed by product revenue.

R. That sounds doable

Me. Yep. It really is an ideal situation. We are making very good progress on customer front and the response has been super positive.

R. What else?

Me. K is kind of pissing me off.

R. Why?

Me. I haven't heard any positive news about new leads from her in weeks. It makes me think she's not doing a great job and that I'm wasting my money.

R. What are you doing about this?

Me. I'm having her work with B. She seems better focused and I don't have to manage her. Jury is still out though. We will see how the next few weeks go. B alluded to her not being great on an initial call unless it's a demo. He said he's going to have her set up meetings for him. Fortunately, we have enough good things going on that we can afford to let the new process take hold.

R. What else?

Me. The FS PM stuff is pissing me off. We should have had this done a long time ago. I'm pissed that it's taking HP so pickin long to get this fixed. We should have had the mobile product out months ago. I'm also pissed that MM didn't know squat about the LMS. And that he took vacation this week so we can't make any progress on FS, which pissesme off.

R. He deserves to take some vacation, doesn't he?

Me. I suppose

R. Plus, he has been a great help with SQ and will be with FS, right?

Me. He absolutely has

R. So, want to hear my take!

Me. You bet

R. It appears to me that you are in the best shape business wise that you have EVER been. Do you agree?

Me. Yes, we have a working product that meets an important market need. We have a marquee name customer who is actively using the product to run their business. It's a great story. Plus, we have a couple of prospects already lined up. And these are GREAT accounts. I have a a strong team. EC is a stud. Great to have him onboard. MM is great. BM is great. K is doing a job we need and that I would not do. So she's playing an important and necessary role. HP and G have been phenomenally helpful to get us this far. Financially, I'm having a very good year, which I haven't had in a long, long time. So, yes, this is the best shape we have been in. 

R. Here is my advice. Enjoy the moment. Focus on doing your best every day. It's okay to be happy. I know you're not used to this idea, but, you can be happy. You don't need to constantly lash at yourself or hold so much anger. You can use this in the gym and to drive you to work hard, but don't let it be so all consuming. Be Mr. Quiet Enthusiastic. Practice


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. I'm in a deep funk and want to get out of it

R. What happened?

Me. A couple of things. Haven't heard from K and I'm frustrated that she is not generating any viable leads. This is really pissing me off because I believe we have a now proven solution and great marquee name customers. I'm concerned that she is not being effective and am getting tired of spending all this money and not seeing any results.

R. Let me ask you a few questions

Me. Ok

R. Do you have any viable prospects?

Me. Yes

R. List the ones that you know of

Me. Ok

1. FS PM 
2. HS extension project
3. BS
4. J
5. FIS
6. P
7. EF
8. YM
9. SQ

R. Okay. So you have real prospects. So what is your fear?

Me. I'm afraid that FS is going to dry up and that we have nothing to back it up.

R. Okay. Thanks for sharing this. It appears that FS will extend through the first part of next year. Is that reasonable?

Me. Yes. It is likely to go through end of January and possibly through Q1. There could be an opportunity to do more SDR training as well as creating a channel playbook. 

R. Plus, you have some good income coming from the projects you just invoiced, right?

Me. Yes

R. I'm curious. Have you calculated the possible revenue from the various projects?

Me. No

R. Take a swag

Me. Ok. I'll do this in another note. Be right back.

R. Ok

Me. I'm back

R. What did you come up with?

Me. It's actually a pretty good sized amount and it doesn't include what I already invoiced.

R. Let me ask you a different question. If MG told you that it was looking like he was going to make that much money in Q1 what would you think?

Me. That's a lot of money.

R. You realize that the amount we are talking about is more than you have made in a year, right?

Me. I hadn't thought about it this way. That's a a good perspective.

R. So, let's do a reality check. Are these real opportunities?

Me. Yes, they are. In every case, I have met with the decision-maker and they all have identified projects and we have good relationships with each one and have had multiple meetings.

R. Okay, so given this, do you think it's okay for you not to panic or be so anxious today? I'm not asking you to be ecstatic or overjoyed, I'm only asking if it's possible for you to not have to panic today and for the rest of the week? In other words, since you are not in any immediate danger, do you think it's reasonable for someone who is in this situation to not have to panic THIS week?

Me. I suppose 

R. Okay. Let's take it up a notch. Do you think it's possible for you to have fun today?

Me. Maybe

R. Ok. Well at least you are open to it

Me. Yeah, but what can I do?

R. I'll throw out some ideas

1. Go to CM
2. Go to a movie
3. Go have lunch in another part of town
4. Go to the gym and take a long shower and steam bath
5. Buy yourself a little something
6. Do isometric exercises and squats
7. Go somewhere and write
8. Drink lots of water
9. Catch up on your To Read file 
10. Read Positive Thinking book
11. Only check email 3x 
12. Do something productive for one of your projects
13. Write the SQ story tool
14. Watch a YouTube video about mental toughness and resilience 
15. Listen to music that makes you happy
16. Talk to your friend DB
17. Do another workout
18. Shave
19. Work on spring cleaning project
20. Buy BLCC something

Me. This has been very helpful. Thank you! :grin2:


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## Renovation

WHY I'M FEELING BETTER

I'm feeling better because I finished my note to HP and through this process I learned of a new development that might be very beneficial. I also realized that we are pretty far along. It helped to write my response because I was able to think through the problem and rationalize my thinking.

The net of it is that it is a fixable problem. MM can learn AS. Plus HP confirmed he has made progress. I believe that PL is a game changer. I have been saying this for years and I still believe it. My logic is sound.

Also feeling better about the business because we have a fair amount of good prospects. 

All told feeling better.


----------



## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. I'm very frustrated

R. Why is that?

Me. I'm pissed the f'ing M didn't take care of the LMS sooner. We need to be super responsive! Period. I don't give a **** that he's on vacation. He should have checked email and gotten back to the client. It's fed up that he didn't!

R. Is that really the issue?

Me. Well I'm pissed that B didn't get back to us today. I responded to her email in a prompt manner and emailed her multiple times but never heard back. This means they're going to not convert.

R. Really? It doesn't that at all. It could mean a number of things. Remember that she was non responsive with M and he was trying to get on her calendar about an issue she was having. I can understand why you might think the worst but you don't need to. What did she say when you SPOKE with her this week.

Me. She said that it looked like they would convert. That it was looking good.

R. Okay. And today she asked how she could figure out number of stuff. And she wanted this info before 10am, right?

Me. Yes

R. And you got her the info before 10am, right?

Me. Yes

R. So, what went through your mind?

Me. When I didn't hear back from her before 10am I immediately thought that she encountered an issue and imagined that she was so pissed off that she was going to tell her boss to forget it. 

R. That's quite an imagination. 

Me. Or I imagined that her boss got pissed off and told her it wasn't worth it.

R. You don't know that. Here's what you do know. You know she and her team have put a lot of effort into developing the content. You do know that her people like using it. You do know that she wants tighter integration. You do know that she said it's looking good. Am I right?

Me. Yes

R. So, couldn't it also be possible that she simply got really busy today. She hasn't opened your email, right?

Me. No she hasn't opened it because YW would note if she did.

R. Good

Me. Okay. This helps put it in perspective. There are enough positive signs to warrant my also considering that things are still going well. We will reach back out to her on Monday and I will assume the best for now. Thank you!


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## Renovation

CHECKING IN

Me. It's been a few days

R. What's up?

Me. Feeling a bit frustrated

R. About what?

Me. A bunch of stuff, I continue to be frustrated about:
1. K's poor activity
2. K's lack of responsiveness
3. K's poor reporting
4. Not having good insight into what's really going on
5. The fact she went so many weeks with such low activity
6. Her bull**** excuses

R. Before you go on about other stuff, let's get this one settled. A few questions.

Me. OK

R. Is she doing anything right? Are you better or worse for having her on the team?

Me. She is improving her activity level these last two weeks. She does have some opportunities in the pipeline. We are better off for having her on the team.

R. What does she need to do or what needs to happen in order for you to feel better, less stressed or even delighted about her?

Me. Closing BAS would be very helpful. Knowing we have immediate next steps with 3 or 4 other opportunities would be very helpful. Her getting us in the door at other opps would help.

R. Is it possible for you not to have to worry about her today?

Me. I suppose, but how?

R. Well, BAS is an active opportunity, correct?

Me. Yes

R. She does have a few new deals in the pipeline, right?

Me. Yes

R. OK, so from a business perspective, there are a number of good things actually going on that she has made happen, correct?

Me. Definitely, but what about her lack of responsiveness

R. Do you think she will likely respond by tonight?

Me. Yes. I believe she will.

R. Do you think she can do the job?

Me. Yes. She's as good and probably better than most of the new people at FS

R. OK. Here's my advice. Do something nice for her.

Me. OK. Will do. Thanks for letting me get this stuff off my chest!


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## Renovation

CHECKING IN 

Me. Lots on my mind. Feeling very frustrated.

R. Let's hear it

Me. Here's a list

Frustrated/angry that:

1. K did not finish organizing PM
1. SHE SAID SHE WOULD DO IT, SO SHE PROBABLY DID

2. K is not creating enough leads 
2. YOU HAVE OPPS WITH FIS AND JV AND BS THANKS TO HER. THAT'S GOOD

3. K is not doing enough prospecting
3. SHE WILL MAKE 300 CALLS THIS WEEK

4. HP has not started or completed the review process 
4. HE SAID HE WOULD DO THIS. WILL GET DONE THIS WEEK

5. HP has not fixed the bugs
5. HE SAID HE WOULD DO THIS. WILL GET DONE THIS WEEK

6. HP has not finished testing PBM
6. HE SAID HE WOULD DO THIS. WILL GET DONE THIS WEEK

7. We have not heard back from B 
7. SHE WAS ON HOLIDAY. WE WILL CONNECT THIS WEEK

8. We have not heard back from V at FS 
8. HE WILL RESPOND THIS WEEK

I'm worried that:
1. MM's quote is going to be very expensive
1. NEGOTIATE TO A NUMBER YOURE COMFORTABLE. FUNDED BY SW

2. SQ might not close
2. QUIT BE SUCH A PESSIMIST. EVERYTHING YOU HAVE HEARD SO FAR IS POSITIVE

3. FS will not go well
3. QUIT BEING SUCH A PESSIMIST. THE APP IS WORKING AS IT SHOULD. MM IS ON THE CASE

R. Okay. Here's my overall advice. It does you no good to make yourself miserable over these issues. You're losing sight of the bigger picture.

Me. What do you mean?

R. On the business side, you have active deals plus a handful of strong opportunities. You have sizable income coming in from FS and HS. Plus two good checks from EF and YM, which combined are a good chunk of change. Plus you have the opportunity with P and additional opportunity with both FS and HS. You have to admit this is REALLY good, right?

Me. It is. I need to be more grateful for this.

R. The other key point is that you don't need to panic. I'm not saying that you should be overjoyed but you don't need to worry TODAY. I repeat. You do not need to worry TODAY. You can make room in your life to have a peaceful and fun day today. I'm going to give you an alternative thought pattern you can consider.

Me. Ok.

R. How about: 

I have a good income and prospects for more good income. That's great! 

K has created a number of very opportunities that we would not have had without her. And she's committed to creating more. That's great! 

The product is working at SQ and with us. We have tested the heck out of it, uncovered some issues, and have either fixed them or are about to fix them. 

PBM is right around the corner. 

The feedback on the product has been positive. B said it's looking good. Your worry about her not responding being due to the product not working and her being pissed off was absolutely unsubstantiated. 

Those are all true statements. My advice is that you focus on the positive instead of the negative. I appreciate your resilience and how conscientious you are. Taking the the time to do this exercise takes discipline and initiative. So, well done.

Me. Thank you so much. Can't begin to tell you how grateful I am for you helping me put things in perspective. Very, very helpful!


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## Renovation

CHECKING IN

Me. I'm super frustrated!

R. Let's hear it

Me. I'm frustrated that:
1. K is minimally following up leads
2. K is not keeping her system up to date
3. K is not generating any new leads
4. K is only working part-time

R. What else?

Me: I'm frustrated that:
1. MM has not responded to my text
2. HP has not done what he said he would do
3. We have not heard back from V
4. We have not heard back from SQ

R. Anything else?

Me: Nope

R. Anything positive happen?

Me. Yes

R. Like what? Write a sentence starting with "I'm pleased that..."

Me. I'm pleased that:
1. The main man at P agreed to move forward and that I positioned this as a 12-month engagement
2. FIS is moving forward
3. HS is moving forward
4. I'm going to get good income from HS and FS
5. We are very close with the product

R. Are these good things?

Me. Yes. Absolutely

R. Are the issues you mentioned above solvable?

Me. Yes

R. Are you taking steps to resolve them?

Me. Yes

R. Okay. Any thing else?

Me. Yes. I'm really pissed of that MM hasn't responded. I want to get moving on the product and now he's holding it up

R. Okay. Here is my advice. Go through your To Do list and prioritize what needs to get done. Prep for call with K and B.

Me. Okay will do. Thanks for letting me vent.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to clear my head

R. What's up?

Me. Lots. I'm going to go stream of consciousness 

R. Go for it.

Me. Woke up at 230am and sent K an email basically telling her she's doing a crappy job. I tried to keep it balanced, but it was not positive. It took me awhile to fall back asleep and when I did I ended up over sleeping, so was late to a conference call. Fortunately, I wasn't too late and was able to get in a few words. So didn't end up being too bad. But spoke with my partner afterwards who suggested I speak with K. I called her and we spoke for an hour and a half. It forced a great heart to heart conversation. She really is trying hard and she is a great gal. I got overly emotional and over reacted with the email. Long story short I apologized for having sent the email and we ended the call on a very positive note, but I have to admit, the whole ordeal starting with worrying about her work, writing and sending the email, worrying about her reaction, feeling embarrassed, and having the conversation was emotionally draining.

R. I bet.

Me. I'm glad we had the conversation, but I'm spent. Haven't slept well the last two nights worrying about the business. This morning I got the quote from MM, which was very high. So this added more complexity to my life. On top of this, I have work due for P, FS and for us. And on top of all of this, got a nasty gram from DG. I'm so tired but feel like I can't take a break and that there so many demands on me and that it's all up to me.

R. Ok. It's not the end of the world. More specifically, you are not at this very moment in any immediate danger. All you can do is control what you can control, which in essence is your to do list. I suggest you get yourself organized and then just start doing the tasks. Set the timer and then try to "fight" through the task. Just do it. You will feel better with less stuff on your plate. I suggest you adhere to your no email rule.

Me. Okay. Great advice. Thanks!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. I'm emotionally drained. 

R. Why?

Me. So many reasons

1. The conversation with K earlier in the week
2. The uncertainty associated with MM
3. The uncertainty associated with cost of HP doing the work
4. The uncertainty associated with SQ
5. The uncertainty associated with FS PM 
6. The uncertainty with DG
7. The pressure of finalizing P proposal
8. The pressure of having to do more work for FS 
9. The pressure of having to possibly buy a new furnace
10. How slow CH has been to respond to ___ issue
11. It's cold at home

R. I can see how that would affect anybody

Me. It's nonstop

R. Anything to be optimistic about?

Me. A few.

1. Opportunity is alive and well at FS 
2. MM is looking more positive than a few days ago
3. HP is looking more positive than a few days ago
4. Have money coming from FS and HS 
5. MM had good conversation with V

R. That's good, right?

Me. Yes

R. So focus there. Take some positive action. You should also feel good about the fact that you weren't afraid to eat some frogs this morning. You confronted a couple of very big issues head on. That's really good. You have to give yourself credit for being so tenacious. 

Me. I suppose

R. Listen. Keep after it. Persevere. Just keep after it! You are and have to be mentally tough. That's just the way it is. Go take care of a few more items and continue to build momentum.

Me. Okay. Thanks for being here for me and helping me think through this and for the advice. Much appreciated.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Still nuts

R. What's up?

Me. Just feeling really anxious

R. Why?

Me. F'ing B didn't show up. So f'ing rude. She's done this on multiple occasions. Very nerve wracking because this was a very important call for us. Don't want to read anything into it, but it is frustrating that she did not show up when she was the one who told us that today was the day/time that worked best for her. Just BS. Very frustrating!!

R. I understand. Any positive news?

Me. Yes. MM agreed to stay on. That's huge. He's critical to our products success, so having him onboard is key. Put it this way, not having onboard would have been devastating. So this is a very big deal.

R. Well that's good. Anything else?

Me. Yes, the meeting with P went very well. Everybody is on board, which is very exciting. Now we just need to get the agreement over the line.

R. Ok. So it's not all bad, right? 

Me. No it isn't. Just need to keep plugging away. 

R. Listen. Just do your best. You have to bear down. You have no choice. Just go for it.

Me. Ok. Thanks for letting me vent. Always helpful.


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## naes

Renovation said:


> Woke up feeling really tired this morning. Went to bed about midnight after watching a Charlie Rose special on Robin Williams. They showed various interviews. What an amazing mind. A true genius. RIP.
> 
> Anyway, woke up about 530, which means I slept something like 5 hours. Not great, but about what I've been averaging for a while. Needless to say, I was dogged tired, but rather than try fall back asleep or, at least, rest, I decided instead to work on preparing for a presentation I have tomorrow. I had an idea and wanted to act on it immediately.
> 
> So, I went a got my laptop and brought it to bed. I created exactly what I wanted - looked great - and then tried to shut my eyes for a bit, but, that frankly didn't help much. Got up around 740 and decided to head to the gym. I recently joined an online fitness community where we log in our daily activity and I didn't want to not post anything.
> 
> I did a 20 minute workout on the LifeCycle at a very low level. Not really much of a workout, but it got me out of the house and 20 minutes of some exercise is certainly better than none.
> 
> Came home and was feeling down, frustrated, and tired. Closed my eyes for about 20 minutes to try to get a little bit of rest, but decided I needed to get to work on my project.
> 
> Took try to shake my blues and get me refocused and energized, I wrote myself a pep talk in my journal. Normally, I'll do the equivalent of a cognitive behavior therapy, where I'll unload my "automatic thoughts", identify the cognitive distortions, and then reply with a "rational response" that argues against the automatic thought.
> 
> This is usually quite helpful, but today I just wanted to cut to the chase to motivate myself to get busy, so I wrote a pep talk that, in essence, asked what choice I wanted to make today in terms of my mindset. It definitely helped get me going. I went to a local cafe and worked on my project for about 2 to 2 1/2 hours. Got a lot done. Completed about 80% of what I need to get done to be ready. Pleased with my effort and the result.
> 
> I also made an appointment to get my haircut, then went home and ate a big salad, posted on other parts of SAS, and then went and got my haircut. I actually feel good about getting my haircut. I almost procrastinated and made the excuse that the salon is too far away to walk and/or that I didn't have time. But I went and the guy who cuts my hair does a great job, so I'll look good for my meeting tomorrow.
> 
> So just got back and needed to vent and just put my thoughts out into the World Wide Web. I work alone for the most part. Everyone involved with the project works remotely, so, unless I go to a cafe, not a lot of human interaction.
> 
> Glad I found SAS because I now at least have a place to vent and clear my head.


HAH, you think you have a place to clear your head until someone disagrees with you, then wow where did my thread go? Oh and i find it great how the people who are thinking about killing themselves get their threads removed too. What a great place to vent, as long as it is PC.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to vent

R. Go for it

Me. Lots on my mind. It's been an emotionally draining week. It started with an emotional conversation with K, which was spurred on by my dissatisfaction with her productivity.

R. Did anything good come out of this?

Me. Yes. We brainstormed some good ideas which are promising.

R. Like?

Me. Like the fact that:

1. We have a new, much larger Db. We went from 600 to 14,000. That's significant
2. The guy from S who is very well connected really likes PM and wants to intro us into some big deals
3. The guy from TG will be giving K a couple of good leads
4. She made a connection with a key person at SF 
5. The fact we are getting CS. This will be a huge help.

R. That is positive

Me. Yeah, it is. We came up with a very good solution to our main LG problem, which is to significantly increase the number of connects we make per week. Logic tells you that if you have a Db of 14K names and a technology that dramatically increases the number of connects that it absolutely stands to reason that we will solve this problem.

R. What else is positive about this?

Me. K is very good when she connects. We now have a very good story to tell. We are also developing some good partnerships. Logic tells you this will significantly increase the number of new business opportunities.

R. This does not very, very promising. Just need to be a bit patient.

Me. Yeah. It is positive. I have been so focused on ****ty stuff that I almost completely discounted some of the very positive things that are happening. 

R. What other positive things are happening?

Me. MM joining full-time. That's a really big deal. Ensures continuity which is huge. Ensures local presence which is huge. Ensures a highly competent interface with customers which is huge. Ensures faster time to market for PM, which is really huge. It also has allowed us to get HP onboard full time which is also huge.

R. Ok. So on the product front things seem to be better than ever. 

Me. This is true. Plus the response continues to be very positive even at SQ.

R. Good to hear.

Me. Let's end the session on that upbeat note. There are a number of other very positive things to talk about but let's end it there for now. Thanks for helping me take a more positive and balanced view/perspective. VERY helpful!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Want to see if I can get in a more favorable mindset

R. Ok. Let's start with a list of ten reasons to feel optimistic or at least less pessimistic. In other words, what we are after is to give yourself permission to bring some joy and relief into your life today and, ideally, for a while. Life has its challenges and opportunities. Reasons to be stressed and reasons to be hopeful. In your case, fortunately, you also have reasons to be hopeful, so it's not all doom and gloom. Let me give you ten reasons to be hopeful.

Me. Okay. I'm all ears.

R. Here you go.

1. Definitely continuing with FS - this project is continuing on multiple levels. You know R still needs you. Too much going on. She can't do it on her own.

2. Definitely continuing with FS SD program - that's going extremely well. Looks like there is now a December opportunity

3. Getting good size check from HS - you will be getting the second part of the HS payment this week and a good chunk of this will go to you. That's awesome! 

4. There is also the opportunity to build the HS SM program - they are very happy with the level of effort you have put forth and have discussed continuing in 2016

5. There is also an opportunity for HS SD program - you will approach them about this in January

6. Getting good size check from FS for SD program - will get some nice income from this

7. The product is finally ready and LPM is just around the corner - here's the really good news. There continues to be a lot of interest in PM. The need for an online c___ing solution is as strong as ever. That's the reality. Don't lose sight of that. There is a definite market and the feedback continues to be very positive. 

8. K is building some strong partnerships - this is actually very encouraging. These sound like GREAT partnerships who have great contacts they can walk us into. That's very exciting!

9. We have funds coming from EF and YM - this is encouraging as well. This will help continue to pay for K. Thank God for this!

10. EC mentioned he's got a prospect for Q1 that could bring in another $__ to $__. That's an awesome new development!

11. We will be signing P - this is huge because it will be a year-long engagement. Think about it. This is your salary for 2016. THAT IS HUGE!!! I don't think you have given this sufficient significance. 

12. We will be signing FIS - that's also huge.

So, the net of it is that from an income perspective you are in very good shape. Thank God for all of this. Keep after it. Compete. Stay intense. Stay focused. Keep after it!

Me. Ok. Thank you! Super helpful to help me think this fully through and see that there is a lot of light at the end of the tunnel


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. So much on my mind

R. Let's hear it. It's been a while. What's up?

Me. Super stressful last few weeks. Between travel, the projects, the loss at SQ, and the DG situation plus with M coming out, I haven't been this stressed out in the last few years.

R. How are you doing now?

Me. Physically and mentally, I'm exhausted. I have been working 12 hour days or traveling every day for, at least, the last 30 days. I'm beat and I have a meeting tonight and all day tomorrow, then flying tomorrow night for a one day trip. It's nuts.

R. How are you feeling emotionally?

Me. Better. In a lot of ways that the DG situation is behind me. This caused me a lot of stress and a lot of lost sleep, so great to move on from that. I have some anger from this that I will want to redirect to my workouts.

R. That's a good idea. You have even more anger built up toward them now. The key is to use this to fuel your progress in the gym and for your business.

Me. Absolutely. Great advice.

R. What else?

Me. Well. Definitely disappointed about SQ, but it actually worked out for the best because it forced me to rethink our product strategy and take action to put us on a path to a much better situation. We're turning the lesson from the loss into something we can use to make us better, so in an odd way, the loss is the very best thing that could have happened to us. I would not have take the decisions and actions if it weren't for this. So truly a blessing in disguise.

R. That's a great perspective. What else?

Me. I just have so much on my plate in large part because I'm so obsessed with doing a quality job. I fortunately enjoy what I do and consider myself fortunate to get paid to do it, but I'm taxing my brain from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed. I'm either in front a computer screen or in an airplane seat. 

R. That would wear anyone down. You really need to do the relaxation exercises you are reading about, including the meditation, deep breathing, and stretching exercises. Plus, you need to drink more water. 

Me. You're right. I'm going to go to the corner store right after I get off here and buy some sparkling water.

R. Good. What else?

Me. I need to pay K, EC and C. I wish I didn't have to, but I suppose this is part and parcel about running a business. Anything related to money makes me worry.

R. Given some of the stuff you went through, I can understand why; however, now that things are getting better and that you have good short and long-term prospects, I think you should try to rethink your perspective around money.

Me. What do you mean?

R. I mean either don't place so much stress on yourself about it or just focus on controlling what you can control, which is doing quality work. This is the only way you will be able to earn a living. You are watching your spending while still enjoying a few occasional pleasures. So, have faith that good things will follow by you doing quality work with a good heart and by being kind and enthusiastic.

Me. That's good advice

R. In other words, change the channel from the horror station that scares the **** out of you to the comedy or music station that gives you pleasure. Envision a more positive and happier future. Like you are reading, imagination is a very powerful thing and only you can direct it.

Me. That's very helpful and timely advice. Really appreciate it.

R. Great. Now go have some fun


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Lots on my mind

R. Let's hear it. What's most troubling you?

Me. The main thing is the issue with DG

R. Tell me about it

Me. Not clear where to start

R. Just write down anything that comes to mind and then we'll work through it

Me. Ok. Here goes. I'm worried about the possible implications of this issue. It's scary. 

R. That's understandable. My advice is to focus on how to resolve the issue.

Me. Ok. Please help me think this through

R. Ok. The first thing to do is to get advice.

Me. Ok. I've started this process

R. Good. Next is to analyze the situation and think about your position

Me. Ok. Would love your perspective

R. The net of it is that you only used a small number of their items and that none of them are material to your overall work. Let's pursue this a bit.

Me. Ok

R. Let's take it one at a time starting with the SP project

Me. Ok

R. The the core of the SP work you did for FS was 100% your work. The SP and the DR are the heart of this work. That's your core competency. 

Me. That's absolutely true.

R. Now let's look at the EC work

Me. Ok

R. Any m guide includes the notion of BP. In fact, FS already had pre-existing content about the target audience, which you leveraged. The idea of identifying the goals, challenges and questions for these is standard practice for Ming organizations.

Me. With you so far.

R. The other core part of a EC guide is diff. Again, this is standard practice for any Ming organization. 

Me. All true

R. CS stories is also a standard practice. 

Me. True. What other concepts are typical to EC guides?

R. There is typically something about an E pitch and something about O handling.

Me. That sounds right

B audience goals, challenges, questions
Diff
E pitch
O handling

R. That's the core of any EC guide. What differentiates DG is their Bing process chart, WB methodology and video - though making videos of top people is also standard and not unique. You did use the Bing process but this is not central to the work.

Me. Absolutely!

R. There are a few peripheral concepts but they are not central to the work. 

Me. Great points. Really helpful. Thanks. This will be helpful when I speak with my advisor.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to clear my head

R. Ok. Let's hear it

Me. Just finished sending the email to DG. This experience has definitely been stressful. I'm also now pissed, but feel better because I've gotten good advice from someone that is very knowledgeable about these matters. He's gotten very high marks and has an exceptional background, even if he was not super smooth on the phone.

R. Okay. How do you feel now?

Me. I'm still obviously feeling a bit apprehensive.

R. Why?

Me. I wonder if I made the right choice with this person.

R. It seems to me that any expert in this area would have told you the same thing. Namely that their assertion is baseless because the only item that they have that can be considered unique and original is the BP model. Otherwise, everything else is based on common industry concepts and their depiction. 

Me. You're right. It's likely that I would have gotten similar advice from the other fellow. 

R. The expert told you that they would have a very difficult time proving their position. This is not some article in Google telling you this. It's an industry expert. Moreover, this would be your argument, regardless. It's in line with everything you have researched, except articulated in a manner that is much more articulate and compelling than you would have come up on your own.

Me. You're right there. Let me read the email and letter one more time.

R. What did you think?

Me. Very professionally done. Position well articulated. I frankly don't like being so confrontational because I'm afraid of the repercussions, but it is definitely the adequate response. 

R. It's better than not having done anything and continuing to wonder about what might happen and continue to do unending research. You got the outcome you wanted at this point. You have a defensible position. They cannot show significant harm.

Me. Yes. I am relieved. At this point, I will go back to my "business as usual" approach. I need to get some rest. 

R. You definitely need a little bit of a break. I would do a few errands and maybe get the nagging items off your to do list. These don't require a lot of brainpower and it will feel good to get them off your plate.

Me. Yep. Definitely!

R. Anything else?

Me. No. That's it for now. I have a lot of work to do, so feeling a bit overwhelmed by that, but feel confident about my ability to pull it off.

R. Good luck

Me. Thanks again. This was really helpful!


----------



## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to vent a bit

R. Go for it

Me. I'm mo f'ing pissed off that mo f'ing M and ****y T tried bullying me. F them! Thinking they're all superior to me. I'm sick and f'ing tired of their BS. Time to compete, b****es!

R. Okay. I suggest you use this to fuel your work thic - time to compete! - and your time in the gym. Otherwise, I suggest you shift your thinking to something more positive and enjoyable whenever you catch yourself getting pissed off about them.

Me. Okay

R. What else?

Me. I'm f'ing pissed off that MG didn't respond to my nice email. Who the f does he think he is? That really pisses me off. Him being dismissive. That's fed up!

R. On a scale of 1 to 10, how big a deal is this.

Me. 1

R. Enough said. Going back to the first issue, do you think it's a good idea to stay pissed off?

Me. No, not really

R. Ok. Just checking.

Me. Thanks for helping me put this stuff in perspective!


----------



## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. A few things on my mind I need to work through

R. Let's hear it

Me. First, got an email from MG asking for introduction to expert I used. My reaction was a combination of anger and anxiety. I got angry that he expected me to immediately respond to his emails when he doesn't automatically respond to mine. It also irked me because it made feel that he's pulling me into this issue that he should be handling on his own. It also made me wonder if he had heard something that I had not.

R. So, you immediately re-imagined a worst-case scenario. 

Me. Briefly, but, yes

R. My initial reaction is that you don't need to interrupt your vacation to deal with this. It's New Years Eve for goodness sakes.

Me. Ok.

R. What else?

Me. Just got email from EC about the presentation next week.

R. And?

Me. And it pissed me off and made me anxious that we're not going to be ready for next week. Pissed me off that as usual he left everything until the last minute.

R. Okay. Let's put this in perspective so you don't make a mountain out of a molehill.

Me. I'm open to that.

R. You, in essence, have three presentations. Regarding yours, it's easier to pare down than to have to add more content. So, thus is a highly solvable problem that you can work on on Saturday. So, don't worry about this.

Me. Ok. So, in terms of the AP session, I can pare this down to a few slides like EC suggests. I can practice what I'm going to say.

R. Ok. In terms of the N session you only have about 15 minutes of presentation to deal with, so this is highly manageable. 

Me. Yeah, I can handle that. I have no problem getting up on a stage and doing this. I'm at a point where I highly enjoy this.

R. Good. Regarding the EP session, more or less, same idea. 

Me. Ok. So I'll step up and handle this. I can and will do this.

R. Ok, so tell me about the other issue.

Me. Just heard that M got a letter from DG, so there's a chance I also got this letter. There is also a chance I didn't because his use was more frequent and extensive.

R. All you can do at this point is gather more data. My advice is to stay calm and focus on N and M having a marvelous time. That's the focus. That's all you can do.

Me. Okay. I'll do my breathing exercises, drink lots of water, and do isometric exercise throughout the day to burn nervous energy.

R. Good thinking.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Want to get in a better mood

R. How are you feeling?

Me. Anxious and angry, but also hopeful. Want to declutter my mind and get into a more positive mindset.

R. What are you anxious about?

Me. Mostly, work stuff.

R. Like?

Me. We have a couple of presentations next week and I'm not feeling like we're ready

R. Do you feel you have time to get ready?

Me. Yes. I can probably make really good progress on this today.

R. In that case, I'd take this one off the worry list for now and revisit it later in the day. Can you do that?

Me. Yes

R. Okay. Turn this into an affirmation.

Me. I at this point have no good reason to worry about the P presentation. I have plenty of time to get ready. I choose to expect a very positive outcome. It's going to be a fantastic session. It will be a blast. I'm really looking forward to it.

R. Excellent. What else?

Me. I'm pissed and anxious about the DG issue.

R. At this point, you have demonstrated that your situation is very different from MG's in terms of frequency and extensiveness of use. It's a night and day difference. 

Me. Yeah, but this incident just further increased my dislike of these guys

R. Here's my advice on this one. First, continue with business as usual. At this point, this is a reasonable position to take. Remember how relieved you felt when you first took this position. And now you're in an even better place. Regarding the anger issue, take a moment and get it out of your system.

Me. Ok. You guys are m*** f'ing a*****. You think you're so f'ing superior to everyone. You look down at people. You treated me like a second class citizen. You and f'ing P think you're so f'ing superior. F you! I'll show you m*** f***. I will outwork you and will grow my company to be substantially better and larger than yours. I'm going to use this anger to help me get in great shape and offer a superior solution.

R. Very good. Did that help?

Me. Yes. A lot. That's really my main issue. Now it's time to get to it.

R. Absolutely. Plan on having a fantastic day. Create the lifestyle of your dreams. Be loving. Get a lot done today. Bring in humor into the picture. Practice positivity. Take great care of yourself. Time to compete!

Me. Love it! Time to compete! Thanks so much, this was really helpful!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. It's been awhile since I checked in. A lot on my mind.

R. What's up?

Me. I'm frustrated that I have a lot of work to do and I'm fearful about not having any more projects.

R. It seems to me that things are going well. Don't you think?

Me. I suppose so

R. From my perspective, here are reasons you should be feeling great.
1. You just got an extension on the FS project - that's great!
2. You have a great shot at the UP project
3. You are working on the P project
4. The FS project is going really well
5. You also have the FIS project that is pending

Me. That is good

R. Plus you are now finally making good progress on the PM project. In other words, you have no reason to be in a panic or nervous state. My advice is that you power through the MT project because that has the opportunity to bring a lot of good things.

Me. OK. Thanks for helping me put all this in perspective! Really helpful!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Tons on my mind. Need your help!

R. Let's hear it. How are you feeling?

Me. I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm feeling like a major f*** up. I'm feeling aimless. I'm frustrated about K. There is so much up in the air.

R. Take a deep breath. Let's talk this out. Why are you feeling overwhelmed?

Me. I'm feeling like I'm being stretched in every directing by RC and MG2. And I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. I feel like **** because I sent the wrong document to MG2 and because I'm spending so much time on the SDE project and don't really need to because these other projects are more important. I'm such a f*** up.

R. Let's look at this realistically. You sent the right document this morning, right?

Me. Yes.

R. Okay. Here's my perspective. While MG2 might be upset, you're very fortunate that he's a big fan and a friend. And the reason for this is because you have done good work for him in the past. He will have the correct document which lays out the plan first thing in the morning his time. He's an early riser, so he'll have it in plenty of time for any meetings he might have. Assume you will speak at 10am his time. The likely outcome of this conversation will be positive. I know you feel like crap right now, but the outcome will likely be positive. 

Me. I do have a very good relationship with MG2, which is precisely why I feel even worse. 

R. My advice is that you say a prayer and ask God for forgiveness, grace, and wisdom. Above all you need to be self-compassionate. You made a very honest mistake. While this is now challenging, the best mindset is "this too shall pass". 

Me. Okay. That's helpful. Thank you.

R. Regarding RC, get back to her after you speak with MG2. Tomorrow spend all day or at least a few hours on the FSU project. This will allow you to get back on track. Put the SDE project on hold for now and start focusing on P. Start building out their document. You will feel better. And ask MG2 when he wants you out in SLC. Okay, so now you have a game plan. Feel better?

Me. Yes, because it is absolutely achievable. I'll also plan on going to Ps office next week. I'll say a prayer now, but thanks for helping me sort this out. I can't believe how helpful it is to be able to do this exercise.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Some **** on my mind:
1. I'm pissed because f'ing EC didn't get back to me regarding P
2. I'm pissed because f'ing C didn't get back to me
3. I'm pissed at myself because I wasn't as eloquent as I would have liked to have been on Wednesday
4. I'm pissed because I had to run the entire discussion because EC wasn't sufficiently up to speed, so I looked like the idiot

Crazy **** that ran through my mind:
1. These people think I'm an idiot
2. They're going to tell H that I'm an idiot and they won't want me on the project any longer
3. C thinks I'm an idiot
4. I should have figured this stuff out a long time ago

R. Thanks for being so open about your thought process. Let me give you my perspective on the 'idiot' labeling and point out your irrational thinking patterns.

You're mind reading. You're being way too harsh on yourself. You're exhibiting catastrophic thinking. You had a very good interaction with C at the end of the meeting. Everyone got what they wanted. The end result is that you ended up developing a tool that you will be able to repurpose and use to rebuild your C material. Look, you did this for the first time. That's always going to be hard. And, btw, you did this by yourself, so you, my friend, are the 'man in the arena'. Keep after it! Walk with confidence. 

Moreover, you found some good exercises that can help you strengthen your cognitive abilities. Make it a habit to do them.

Question: did you feel eloquent speaking with MG2 on Thursday?

Me. Very

R. Okay. So you're eloquent. Continue to focus on deep breathing, exercise, proper diet, staying hydrated, walking with confidence, doing the brain training exercises, and reading more. Okay?

Me. You got it. Thanks! This was really helpful! :grin2:


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to get some things off my chest and put things in a positive perspective

R. Sounds good

Me. Will start this session a little differently by focusing on positives.

R. Excellent. Let's hear it.

Me. The business is going well. We have some good projects. FS, HS, and P, and they all continue to have long-term potential, plus now there's a new opportunity K found.

R. Great. What else?

Me. The product is coming along nicely. And the response apparently has been very positive, which is very encouraging. We know the push back and have a plan to address it. MM is doing a great job!

R. Excellent. 

Me. It does feel good to have a steady source of income. We have been able to do some fun things lately for which I'm VERY grateful.

R. So, what's gnawing at you?

Me. The main thing that is bugging me is feeling overwhelmed with all the projects we are working on. I'm also a bit frustrated that Mitch has not gotten back to me, which makes me nervous that we might lose the account.

R. What some advice?

Me. Absolutely!

R. Call Mitch today. Create the draft document tomorrow. Regarding FS, take care of low hanging fruit, and review the stuff R sent over last night. You simply need to put in time, so plan on putting in tremendous effort for the next five days. Get obsessed with this.

Me. I'm nervous about the BC

R. All you need to do is worry about the exercises, which you can repurpose from other projects you have done. Think about people who can help with each topic. Script out some talking points for each session. Start visualizing these sessions and you should be good to go. Not more complicated than that. 

Me. Thanks. Very helpful. Off to the races!


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## Renovation

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Me. I'm highly frustrated and need to vent!

R. Let's hear it

Me. First of all, I'm under the weather. I got a bug so I feel like ****.

R. What else?

Me. I'm highly pissed off at K

R. Why?

Me. Because she's not doing her f'ing job. She has been doing a terrible job all year. She had a terrible week last week and was about to have another ****ty one. She makes idiotic decisions. It just drives me nuts.

R. What else?

Me. I'm pissed at EC

R. Why?

Me. Because I have to do everything and he wants more money

R. What else?

Me. I'm pissed that I put on weight. I have zero will power

R. What else?

Me. I'm tired of feeling sick

R. You already said that. What else?

Me. I'm frustrated that RT did not respond. This also worries me.

R. What else?

Me. I'm frustrated I haven't heard back from M at P.

R. What else?

Me. That's plenty but I'm pissed/depressed that I'm stuck at home because I'm feeling sick and tired and because it's cold outside.

R. What some advice?

Me. Yes

R. Rest and drink lots of water. Don't beat yourself up. Make a point to drink 2-3 bottles of water this afternoon


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to vent

R. Let's hear it.

Me. I'm absolutely, positively pissed off at K!

R. Why?

Me. She's not getting it done. She's so f'ing disorganized. She's so f'ing needy. She doesn't respond to my emails. She hasn't sent me the form I requested two weeks ago. She says thanks for reminding me. She's a pain in the ***.

R. Be more specific

Me. Her job is to generate leads. Period. She's doing a very crappy job of this. She's super disorganized. She's not a logical thinker. She speaks like a valley girl sometimes. She writes poorly. Very frustrating.

R. What some advice?

Me. Yes

R. You responded to her email. You are setting up a reporting system. You are having M train her on how to use the system. If you are not happy with her results in two weeks, then add another person so you can compare. Take a break from her for the rest of the week. Just wash your hands of her until you have the reports set up. What you need is to get some rest. Just take a break and come back strong tomorrow.

Me. Okay. Will do. Thanks.


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## Renovation

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Me. Want to get in a better mood

R. What's on your mind?

Me. I'm frustrated with J and K

R. Let's hear it

Me. I'm not clear what she means by pillars. She keeps talking about this and it makes zero sense. 

R. What is it about what J is doing that is frustrating you?

Me. It's frustrating me that she is making a recommendation that does not make sense. I'm frustrated that she is talking theory and it doesn't map to how other companies typically organize these programs.

R. What are you afraid of?

Me. I'm afraid that if she gets her way that they will no longer need me. That's really scary. I'm afraid that she is working behind the scenes to get rid of me because I don't buy into her approach. I don't trust her.

R. My advice is that you focus on doing high quality work and that you explain your logic. Don't take it so personally. Let's use CBT to identify irrational thought styles you are exhibiting.

CATASTROPHIC THINKING AND FORTUNE TELLING. You are seeing only the worst possible outcome. You're wrongfully imagining that you're going to get fired and that this will lead to you going out of business. Same thing with K. You're imagining that she is never going to get better and that this is going to lead to you not having enough income to keep the business going. REBUTTAL. This is ridiculous and useless. First, RT is a big fan and you will be intimately involved in the BC development as well as the OB program. Doing great work can lead to even more projects. In terms of K, we have a few real opportunities and all you need is one to come through. Moreover, you have other opportunities for income through MG. Plus, the response to the product has been very positive. So, everything is nowhere near as terrible as you are making it out to be.

MINIMIZATION. You are refusing to see the positive things that are happening. These include new opportunities with FE, APT, PL, HS, FS SD, and one or two from K.

ALL OR NOTHING THINKING. Being sick this week and feeling tired does not mean that you are an abject failure. The fact you have put on a little weight does not make you a loser and does not mean that you will NEVER be able to lose weight.

So let me summarize.

1. Things are not as bad as you make them out to be, so there is no need for you to panic or get into a funk. Not worth it.
2. Instead of assuming the worst of other people, how about imagining that it is also possible that good things could happen?
3. Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
4. You have gotten much better at rebounding, so refocus on optimizing. Just because you were down a couple of days doesn't mean you can't get back on track, right?

Me. Thank you. Very helpful. I feel better. Really appreciate it!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. I'm frustrated

R. Why?

Me. I'm pissed at K. I'm pissed at RC. I'm pissed at MC. I'm pissed at LC. I'm pissed at my CPA. I'm feeling down because not getting any new business. I'm worried about FS. I'm not sure if I got the right shoes.

R. That's a lot.

Me. I'm also feeling tired and sleepy and overwhelmed.

R. Elaborate

Me. I'm pissed that I have had to spend so much time with K doing her f'ing job. I have to write her f'ing emails. I'm pissed she is not creating more leads. 

R. What else?

Me. Just feeling yucky and alone and overwhelmed, in general. I'm pissed that MG is doing better than I am. I hate to admit that, but that's how I feel. It also pisses me off that other people are making a lot more money than me.

R. Thank you for sharing your innermost thoughts. That's helpful. We'll see you after your meeting.


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## Renovation

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Me. Feeling a bit down today. Want to get in a better mood.

R. My perception is that you are only considering worst case scenarios and completely dismissing the positive.

Me. That's true. 


I'm definitely FILTERING. I'm totally focused on the crappy things K and E are NOT doing. 

I'm also JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS. I'm assuming that because we yet don't have any S customers that we never will 

And I'm FORTUNE TELLING and imagining the worst case scenario
And I am absolutely CATASTROPHIZING. I'm imaging the worst case scenario.


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Need to get some stuff off my chest

R. Go for it

Me. I'm pissed that the product isn't ready yet. It's taking so f'ing long! Originally, it was supposed to be done by end of March. Now it's June and the product still isn't ready. I'm pissed!

R. Let's put it in perspective. First off, the product is for all intents and purposes ready. 

Me. MM said that K would be using the product by now. He hasn't shown me the changes he was supposed to make yet. 

R. Ok, but the product is very close and it's showable. 

Me. I will feel better when I start using the product on a day to day. This means that the content will be ready and that we will have figured out the checklists. That's when it will be ready. And that's when I'll feel better.

R. Ok. Just note that it's almost here. Secondly, don't delay gratification. You have permission to enjoy yourself for the next few days. Focus on the basics. Get some rest. Eat healthy. And give your work your all. Go for quality. Be tough. Just get after it. Fight through. Put in the hours. Just f'ing do it!

Me. Got it. Thanks for the encouragement and the swift kick in the ***!


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## Renovation

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Me. Lots on my mind

R. Let's hear it.

Me. I'm pissed at RT for not providing any feedback after JP and I put so much effort into the project trying to do exactly what he wants. It's totally crap that he didn't at least provide JP with feedback. It's so unfortunate that RC or JP relationship with him is such that they can't just have a 15 minute meeting to review the work and get his input. This would have saved a ton of time. He's the bottleneck, but I can't say anything. Overall, he's a good guy, but I wouldn't say he's a good manager. I can see him having issues with RC but not JP. She put a lot of effort into the project which he assigned her. You'd think he would have told her good job. That's another thing. I bust my *** and no good job or thank you. I recognize I'm not an employee but a little positive reinforcement every now and then would be appreciated. Apparently, he's this way with everyone, including SE.

R. What else?

Me. I'm pissed at MG because once again he goes into isolation mode. I'm working with him on allegedly two projects, but he hasn't communicated squat to me about either one. I invited him to the game last week and he turned down my offer. I said let's 
touch base this week, but he hasn't reached out, so I'm not going to either. 

R. What else?

Me. I'm also really pissed off at EC. The guy is pretty much worthless. He has not done squat to advance the business unless there is an opportunity that is handed to him. He is a worse communicator than MG. He just goes off and does his own thing and doesn't keep me posted which is BS. Whatever. 

R. What else?

Me. I'm also pissed off at MM. That's BS that the next project is going to cost so much. He still hasn't finished this part of the project. I'm also frustrated that I haven't yet seen the product. That pisses me off. I also need to know how he and K are showing it. And I'm pissed that I haven't heard anything today about how the meetings went. This makes me pissed and anxious.

R. What else?

Me. Feel better that the HS project is almost complete. I have put in a to of effort with zero input from EC. All he had to do was download a couple of fonts. I spent who knows how many hundreds of hours on this project and the m**** can't even bother to take two minutes to download two fonts to look at the f'ing project. Totally worthless.

R. What else?

Me. Well, frankly, nervous about how today's meetings went. Not knowing is making me nervous. And unfortunately I start imagining the worst.

R. Okay. Did that feel good to get some of this stuff out of your system?

Me. Yes. Definitely.

R. Okay. Here's my advice. Go home. Take 12 minutes to pay the remaining bills online. Take 6 minutes to deposit the check online. You will feel better. Take another 12 minutes to create the activities and tools deck. You'll feel so much better to get this stuff off your plate.

Me. Okay. This was super helpful. Thanks!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Some stuff I need help processing

R. Go for it

Me. First of all, I'm upset that MG hasn't gotten back to me. We're supposed to be working on the K project together but he has gone radio silent on me. It pisses me off how egoistical he is. He always wants his clients to know he's in charge and thus hoards all the work. In some ways I don't mind because this frees me up to work on other stuff, but it bothers me when someone says they are going to do something and then they don't. He told me he would send me the document weeks ago and then he didn't.

R. Go on

Me. I told him I would be happy to help. He also said he wanted to set up a weekly meeting. I said, ok. He schedules meetings that are convenient for him without finding out if I'm also available. His ego might be bruised because I'm working with EC and told MC that we work with other companies. Shouldn't be a surprise. 

R. Go on

Me. On one hand I feel guilty because he has brought me into multiple projects. On the other hand, I helped him land and delight his most important client. He would not have been able to accomplish this without me. Since then, he has brought in other people into projects with this firm without letting me know. If he gives me the opportunity to participate, I will put in the time and effort to do super high quality work. But if he doesn't communicate with me, then I have no way of doing this. I have reached out to him multiple times, but no response. 

R. Okay. Let me weigh in

Me. Okay

R. You have tried. You've reached out to him multiple times including today. You reached out to him last week to invite him to an event and he said he couldn't make it. You reached out to him prior to that and he told you he'd send over document over the weekend but never did. He's done it all himself. He has a tendency to isolate himself and doesn't seem to want your input or opinion. He likes taking center stage and, unfortunately, he doesn't want to share that stage with you. That's always been the case. 

Me. That's spot on

R. My advice is that you only respond if he gets back to you. At that time you can let him know that you can't make the 7/1 meeting. Other than that you need to move on. You are not his pastor or psychologist, so don't try to psychoanalyze him. Be a good friend when he reaches out to you. You have other people like MM, BL and TA that are better friends. Focus your attention there.

Me. Thanks. This really helped. I really ended to get that out of my system and figure out the best path forward. This was great. Thanks again!


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## Renovation

CHECK IN

Me. Had a ****ty day today

R. Let's hear it

Me. Woke up in a ****ty mood because I knew I needed to deal with the document that MM sent. I had a ****ty dream too, which didn't help. Anyway, I woke anxious. Instead of going to the gym, I decided to go straight to the local cafe where I work from.

R. Go on

Me. I got my cup of coffee, sat down, and immediately opened his email and read the document. My fear was that there would be elements with which I didn't agree. That turned out to be the case, which meant that I had to write a lengthy response. Not exactly the way I wanted to start my day. MM and I have a very strong relationship, but there definitely was an issue with one of the documents. He responded to my email, but his response did not address the issue, so I had to write back to clarify my point. 

R. Go on

Me. Spent the better part of the morning working or thinking about this, which really sapped me of all energy. Wasted the rest of the morning doing BS stuff to try to de-stress, but this didn't help matters. 

R. What else?

Me. Felt really tired and lazy. Just couldn't get myself worked up to do any productive work. I got in about two hours of productive work today, which sucks. I was also pissed because f'ing K didn't send her note last night, which pissed me off. Turns out she was "tired". I'm so glad I don't have to deal with her everyday. 

R. Okay. You had a ****ty day. It happens. I suggest you try to make the most of this evening and plan for a fun and productive day tomorrow.

Me. Okay. Thanks. This really helped. BTW, it wasn't completely ****ty. Spoke with MG and the project with A is on, so that's good news.

R. Great. That's definitely good news

Me. Thanks again. Always helpful to get this stuff out of my system!


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