# Guys ..are you really into women who like to take iniciative ?



## kiwikiwi (Jul 27, 2009)

.........


----------



## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

I think SA guys would tell you that they would welcome girls that ask them out. I've known guys who like "the thrill of the chase," and they were all outgoing and good with women.


----------



## kiwikiwi (Jul 27, 2009)

I dont know anymore ,dating seems to be so difficult for me that even SA guys seem too shy or (chicken) to accept whats being given to them . Oh man the stories i could tell you. Honestly im starting think it all comes down to my appearance with having vitiligo.I am not bad looking at all I try to eat right , exercise but when i look in the mirror i still look unhealthy because of these stupid thing in my body and face , it dooms you to a life of rejection in a world of superficial jerks . How do i know ? well to start with in the past as soon as i let guys know i had the condition , that's it ! bye bye 

I guess there's no but why will anyone want an unhealthy looking person when there are millions of healthy looking women out there ? 

Personally i am more openminded, and dont really mind if a guy has psychical major flaws , blind ,albino bound to a wheelchair , i dont really care anymore as long as theres a real connection i have always been willing to look past any of these but its just not happening


----------



## Dane (Jul 27, 2009)

I tend to be shy about taking the initiative with girls, and I think I've been in situations before where a "shy" girl and I liked each other but nothing happened because neither of us was bold enough to say anything openly. 

So I would like it if a girl took the initiative to a certain degree. Not to come on too strong, though.

One thing I don't like is girls who play hard to get or "games". I'm not into chasing girls who pretend that they're not interested. Mutual attraction is what I need.


----------



## SloopjohnB (Jan 1, 2009)

I like a woman who makes it democratic, balanced and even. That is where my sweet-spot would be.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

kiwikiwi said:


> A lot of guys say they wish women were more aggressive , they want them to take more initiative and start conversations , invite them to dates ect , but its a different story when a predatory female role switches place with male passivity .What usually happens is that the wrong idea is given and a cross line between being available and being easy is easily overlooked. In my case when i like someone that is the rarity of the year ,but when a special one awakens a hibernating dragon inside of me i just cant help it but come at full speed to this person. Does that makes me a rare breed ?
> No pretending , no playing miss shy .I am there! the last person i truly fell for was bout 4 years ago and again it end up in rejection because once again i DIDN'T play stupid mind games pretending i just wanted to be friends , he knew i wanted every piece of him with desire and far from courtesies but he told me he was after the old fashioned "thrill of the chase " bull crap that every men is fed throughout their lives .
> 
> And on top of that since i always seem to fall for brainy guys with a passion for over thinking everything where i find myself being the center of crazy conspiracies that are just in their heads . 'WHY DOES SHE LIKE ME IM JUST A NERD ? WHAT DOES SHE REALLY WANTS ? COULD THIS BE A BET ? Or the other variable : she must be easy ! when in fact i havent been with a guy yet so thats how far irrational thinking can go when you are just relaying on a generalized concept of how things should be !
> ...


I totally agree. You hear it all the time: "Be a jerk and girls will love you" or "Play hard to get and a guy will like you". No, no, no, no... wrong! What it comes down to is how open someone is and how mature they are I would suppose.

In your case, being the aggressor as a female, I see nothing wrong with that. It may be true that more men are pursuing women but there is nothing wrong going after what you want. Women go to work, they go to school for an education, they work hard towards other things and so there is no excuse as why a woman shouldn't approach men to date. I've had girls do it to me and I thought nothing wrong with it. If a guy sees a girl as "easy" because she is the aggressor than he probably isn't open enough to see otherwise, which is a shame, but the majority of guys have no problem with this and will not think any differently of a female.

It's time to debunk these stupid mind games and follow your heart! You can listen to advise all day from strangers and friends and get a million different answers to your problems. However, what it really comes down to is what feels good to you and what you want to do, period. So I'd advise anyone who is unsure about dating or the opposite sex is to figure it out on your own because your body has all it needs to tell you what is right or wrong, and in most cases your body and mind are almost always right.


----------



## rickthegreat (Dec 22, 2008)

kiwikiwi said:


> ... In my case when i like someone that is the rarity of the year ,but when a special one awakens a hibernating dragon inside of me i just cant help it but come at full speed to this person. Does that makes me a rare breed ?


You freakin' go girl. :b I have no idea what these guys problems are. Maybe you took them by surprise? Maybe it's not often they come across a dragon? Tell us some of the stories. :b Still though, if it has not worked in the past, perhaps a softer or slower approach might be in order. Any more details on what you do to express your interest?


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

It's just my opinion that traditionally guys are expected to take the lead with most thngs. Just an observation.


----------



## Mr. Frostie (Nov 2, 2008)

Yes to girls taking the initiative! I'm sure as Hell not going to do it.


----------



## strawberryjulius (Jun 28, 2009)

The times that I've taken the initiative have generally turned out well.  I think people should do it more often, you never know what will happen!


----------



## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Girls pretty much HAVE to take the initiative to get anywhere with me lol, I am too scared of rejection to try anything. Bah it's pathetic.


----------



## CeilingStarer (Dec 29, 2009)

I'd find it a bit too weird if a girl confidently came up and asked me on a date... unless she was super shy/embarrassed, stumbling through her words. That would be kind of cute. I think that I'm just a bit turned off by "dominating" women due to my Mum and Sister. I don't want to be bossed around (not that I want to boss a woman around either). Just a mutual relationship where we reach fair compromises.

Still, I don't have the energy to "hunt" for women and play all the games like my peers. I don't really have the strength to 'upkeep' a princess/drama queen type. I just want a sweet, shy, quiet girl who shares a similar psyche and interests to me.


----------



## path0gen (Jun 28, 2006)

Yes, I prefer women who take initiative. I'm socially challenged. So I need a lot of incentive when it comes to asking a girl out. In fact, I'm not sure that I've ever technically asked a girl out. In my younger days, I would simply "hook up" with people that happened to be at the same social gatherings that I was. Now I prefer to look online and get to know people before I meet them in person. Either way, it's very helpful if my female counterpart is agressive enough to make up for my shyness and keep things moving. The same goes for when I take a relationship to the next level (seeing one another exclusively, living together, etc.) If I were with someone like myself, we'd never leave the house.


----------



## Jnmcda0 (Nov 28, 2003)

I've had girls hit on me in bars before, but I kind of went into defense mode because I didn't know how to respond, which turned them off. After I've calmed down and had time to assess the situation, I know how I should have responded, but at the time I was having a panic attack and couldn't think.


----------



## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

All my dealings with men have involved me taking the initiative. So it seems some men do like it.


----------



## izzy (Dec 18, 2009)

I've had three boyfriends...and two, my current bf and bf prior to him, of them I asked out. I was/am their first girlfriend, so they were probably shy...but I'm still pretty proud of myself for doing that. I never really thought it was that unusual for me to do that, until I was told it was later on


----------



## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

kiwikiwi said:


> Oh man the stories i could tell you. Honestly im starting think it all comes down to my appearance with having vitiligo.


As a guy who also has a skin condition (rosacea) I think I can emphasize in some way with you. Although with me, my appearance is always in a state of flux - sometimes good, sometimes average and others just plain terrible 
You have my greatest respect for actually having the guts to approach potential love interests - I fear that I won't be getting anywhere near that sort of confidence for a long while. 
So anyway, please don't beat yourself up or allow yourself to get bitter over some bad past experiences, there are nice guys out there believe me - but you have to lay down the right bait.  I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but have you tried toning down your approach slightly? I'm not saying play the damsel in distress card or anything, but just allow yourself to step back on occasion - people are funny at times I'm sure you'll agree, and a tad bit of uncertainty can re-pique interest when it begins to waver. But obviously when the other party's intention are clear - dive in! The vast majority of people (guys in particular) will appreciate it.


----------



## JayDontCareEh (Jul 16, 2007)

Kinda, yeah. 

I've only dated girls who have the initiative to pursue a relationship and take the lead. 

As long as they don't get all *****y and start trying to control my every move, we'd probably get on just fine.


----------



## rincewind (Sep 7, 2009)

If a girl was interested in me, I'd really appreciate it if she just told me. Otherwise even if I noticed her interest I'd just convince myself that I was misinterpreting it somehow and not do anything about it.


----------



## mrbojangles (Oct 8, 2009)

CeilingStarer said:


> I'd find it a bit too weird if a girl confidently came up and asked me on a date... unless she was super shy/embarrassed, stumbling through her words. That would be kind of cute. I think that I'm just a bit turned off by "dominating" women due to my Mum and Sister. I don't want to be bossed around (not that I want to boss a woman around either). Just a mutual relationship where we reach fair compromises.
> 
> Still, I don't have the energy to "hunt" for women and play all the games like my peers. I don't really have the strength to 'upkeep' a princess/drama queen type. I just want a sweet, shy, quiet girl who shares a similar psyche and interests to me.


i could have typed that myself.


----------



## Hadron92 (Apr 17, 2009)

Guys are into anything that moves.:lol


----------



## Laith (Mar 20, 2009)

No... Im not into women who are too aggresive. I dont usually have a problem taking the lead. I actually like it. I do, however, like it when a women is confident enough to let me know when she's into me (subtley, dropping hints) and is past playing the games though.


----------



## strawberryjulius (Jun 28, 2009)

Am I the only one wondering why taking the initiative = "aggressive"? :con


----------



## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

No, they are two VERY different things imo.


----------



## kiwikiwi (Jul 27, 2009)

bwidger85 said:


> I totally agree. You hear it all the time: "Be a jerk and girls will love you" or "Play hard to get and a guy will like you". No, no, no, no... wrong! What it comes down to is how open someone is and how mature they are I would suppose.
> 
> In your case, being the aggressor as a female, I see nothing wrong with that. It may be true that more men are pursuing women but there is nothing wrong going after what you want. Women go to work, they go to school for an education, they work hard towards other things and so there is no excuse as why a woman shouldn't approach men to date. I've had girls do it to me and I thought nothing wrong with it. If a guy sees a girl as "easy" because she is the aggressor than he probably isn't open enough to see otherwise, which is a shame, but the majority of guys have no problem with this and will not think any differently of a female.
> 
> It's time to debunk these stupid mind games and follow your heart! You can listen to advise all day from strangers and friends and get a million different answers to your problems. However, what it really comes down to is what feels good to you and what you want to do, period. So I'd advise anyone who is unsure about dating or the opposite sex is to figure it out on your own because your body has all it needs to tell you what is right or wrong, and in most cases your body and mind are almost always right.


haha thank you , isnt that right ? we must learn by trial and error and not reading those idiotic generic dating books rules . In reality its me the one to blame because i really havent tried anything with anyone in the last 4 years and you just encouraged me a bit . thank guys im gonna wake up my dragon now , he needs to get its prey lol


----------



## kiwikiwi (Jul 27, 2009)

strawberryjulius said:


> Am I the only one wondering why taking the initiative = "aggressive"? :con


I noticed that as well, but there are not necessarily a consequence of each other more like an ice breaker deal. I approach him , he gets the point and follows through to a hopefully nice date or whatever , the rest lies on the other person imagination to make stupid assumptions such as that one.ar


----------



## Laith (Mar 20, 2009)

strawberryjulius said:


> Am I the only one wondering why taking the initiative = "aggressive"? :con


yes =]



kiwikiwi said:


> I noticed that as well, but there are not necessarily a consequence of each other more like an ice breaker deal. I approach him , he gets the point and follows through to a hopefully nice date or whatever , the rest lies on the other person imagination to make stupid assumptions such as that one.ar


Maybe consider your word choice if you dont want a guy to make a "stupid" assumption.



> A lot of guys say they wish women were more *aggressive* , they want them to take more initiative and start conversations , invite them to dates ect , but its a different story when a *predatory female role* switches place with male passivity


----------



## strawberryjulius (Jun 28, 2009)

Laith said:


> yes =]


What is it about taking the initiative that you find aggressive? Doesn't this depend on HOW the woman is taking the initiative? :|


----------



## Cedilla (Dec 25, 2009)

Sometimes I do, but when they are overly aggressive I tend to be scared away. ex. I once had a girl grab me by the shirt and try to pull me into her SUV when I was working the drivethru window at Mcdonalds. I was freaked the **** out, and I was shaken up the rest of the night.


----------



## TheJoker (Dec 24, 2009)

Dane said:


> One thing I don't like is girls who play hard to get or "games". I'm not into chasing girls who pretend that they're not interested. Mutual attraction is what I need.


Ditto, big ****ing ditto...


----------



## Laith (Mar 20, 2009)

Cedilla said:


> I once had a girl grab me by the shirt and try to pull me into her SUV when I was working the drivethru window at Mcdonalds. I was freaked the **** out, and I was shaken up the rest of the night.


It was probably the AXE body spray. It happens.


----------



## Cedilla (Dec 25, 2009)

Laith said:


> It was probably the AXE body spray. It happens.


Well I did used to bathe in AXE when I was 17. I now call that a *****s bath.:yes


----------



## SOME (Jul 13, 2009)

Yeah, I gusse I would be into a girl who took the iniciative. I mean it will save me alot of awkwardness. So yeah, a girl trying to befriend me or ask me on a date or whatever would be nice.


----------



## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

They better take the initiative, because the chances that I am going to do it is small to none.


----------



## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

It's been so long since a woman has shown interest in me I either wouldn't know what to say or I would think she was playing a cruel joke on me. Reacting like its a cruel joke is a real turn off to women so I would probably just go along with it. At least if it was a joke my ego got stoked for a little bit.


----------



## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

kiwikiwi said:


> A lot of guys say they wish women were more aggressive , they want them to take more initiative and start conversations , invite them to dates ect , but its a different story when a predatory female role switches place with male passivity .What usually happens is that the wrong idea is given and a cross line between being available and being easy is easily overlooked. In my case when i like someone that is the rarity of the year ,but when a special one awakens a hibernating dragon inside of me i just cant help it but come at full speed to this person. Does that makes me a rare breed ?
> No pretending , no playing miss shy .I am there! the last person i truly fell for was bout 4 years ago and again it end up in rejection because once again i DIDN'T play stupid mind games pretending i just wanted to be friends , he knew i wanted every piece of him with desire and far from courtesies but he told me he was after the old fashioned "thrill of the chase " bull crap that every men is fed throughout their lives .
> 
> And on top of that since i always seem to fall for brainy guys with a passion for over thinking everything where i find myself being the center of crazy conspiracies that are just in their heads . 'WHY DOES SHE LIKE ME IM JUST A NERD ? WHAT DOES SHE REALLY WANTS ? COULD THIS BE A BET ? Or the other variable : she must be easy ! when in fact i havent been with a guy yet so thats how far irrational thinking can go when you are just relaying on a generalized concept of how things should be !
> ...


Is it just me or do women like you only exist online?

Where do I meet people like you?

I've never met a woman who liked making the first move. Everyone seems to think that making the first move on a guy is the last thing you should do before you give up on him.

Anyone know where I'd find women who are different in real life?


----------



## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

I really hate when guys say they don't like it when women ask them out first. What the hell then how was I supposed to get a guy then? Anyways guys don't ask me out I have to ask them out. Thank god I don't have to worry about that anymore since I have an amazing boyfriend!!


----------



## strawberryjulius (Jun 28, 2009)

thegoodtimes said:


> I really hate when guys say they don't like it when women ask them out first. What the hell then how was I supposed to get a guy then? Anyways guys don't ask me out I have to ask them out. Thank god I don't have to worry about that anymore since I have an amazing boyfriend!!


Haha, amen sister.


----------



## NemoNevermore (Aug 7, 2009)

I think there's a fine line between showing initiative and being aggressive, and the latter I definitely don't like. There was one girl who made it clear that she liked me to the point that it was creepy. I think asking a guy to go to a movie or something works fine, but more than that will spook most people, male or female.


----------



## JMX (Feb 26, 2008)

3 years ago, there was a girl who was clearly interested in me. She even said she liked me, but I was too much of a wussy and couldn't make a move. She ended up ditching me for some other guy. I kind of worry that if this ever happens again, that it might be the same scenario all over again, but I think I've learned my mistakes, and I try to have the mindset of "I have nothing to lose".


----------



## gio289 (Jan 19, 2010)

thegoodtimes said:


> I really hate when guys say they don't like it when women ask them out first. What the hell then how was I supposed to get a guy then? Anyways guys don't ask me out I have to ask them out. Thank god I don't have to worry about that anymore since I have an amazing boyfriend!!


On the contrary, i kind of like when a woman asks me out. The first was when I was in 3rd form. Though it didnt go anywhere, I still had fun on the date and so did she. Got a kiss at the end as well which was a plus


----------



## Ambivert (Jan 16, 2010)

yes to girls taking initiative, I suck at interpreting signals


----------



## Jurexic5 (Jun 23, 2009)

yes it's great when girls take initiative.

on my facebook newsfeed, i remember seeing someone join a group or fan page called, "i'm a girl. you text me first, or we don't talk at all today." that got me really irritated. :b


----------



## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

I would love a girl to take the lead and come after me. Awesome. I think I would be able to tell if it is a genuine interest or just a game and if not then I will be played. No harm done. I think I am worth finding, some girl may get lucky or unlucky.


----------



## haikupoet (Feb 9, 2010)

I would love women to take the initiative. I understand some guys may be put off by a woman if she is too aggressive. I think it would be okay when meeting a guy to just say hi, your name, that you like him, then you can see where it goes. Just make it *clear* instead of dropping hints.

I remember a girl in middle school came up to me and I think she was hinting at me taking her to lunch, but I just didn't get it and thought she was annoying me or wanted to get something from me. I was so stupid. I would not be like that now.

If you become too sexual too fast the guy may think you are promiscuous. I'm not saying you should play games, but some people prefer to become friends first before taking it further. I feel that way. I don't need a chase, but a lot of people are into that, both men and women. A girl I know does not like a man to respond to her messages too quickly because it lets her stew for a while, builds up sexual tension.


----------



## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

yes and no


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

YES


----------



## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

Yes. It seems that's the only way I would ever have a girlfriend.


----------



## lkkxm (Apr 11, 2012)

YES!!! Because, otherwise... like if you always talk to her first sort of thing... How do you know she's really interested and not just being nice?


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Ideally it would be more equal as far as taking initiative. Guys really have to put their egos on the line.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

It seems so foreign to me now that it would be odd if a woman courted me and took charge of the relationship. At this point I would think something is wrong because it is very uncommon a woman will do this completely and all the experiences that I have encountered has shown me that a woman does not want to lead the courting phase.


----------



## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

I'd be trilled beyond belief if a woman asked me out. 

I'm sick of doing all the work. I don't know how other men can see courting women as this fun challenge. I see it as a huge pain in my ***.


----------



## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

I would NEVER show interest in a guy or take initiative. I prefer to have guys approach me because then I KNOW they are interested. If I approached them, I could run the risk of them going out with me because they felt bad and thought I was a desperate charity case. That could lead to a terrible relationship where I was interested in the guy, but he had no interest. It's happened to people before. 

When I showed interest in guys in the past (I was always shy, subdued and never too forward, just smiling and friendly conversation) I have been laughed at, ridiculed, and been told countless times that I am too ugly/not pretty enough for the guy or anyone. If I die alone, then so be it. I'll know i'll never be good enough, and i'll suck it up and accept the truth.


----------



## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

tbyrfan said:


> I would NEVER show interest in a guy or take initiative. I prefer to have guys approach me because then I KNOW they are interested. If I approached them, I could run the risk of them going out with me because they felt bad and thought I was a desperate charity case. That could lead to a terrible relationship where I was interested in the guy, but he had no interest. It's happened to people before.
> 
> When I showed interest in guys in the past (I was always shy, subdued and never too forward, just smiling and friendly conversation) *I have been laughed at, ridiculed, and been told countless times that I am too ugly/not pretty enough for the guy or anyone.* If I die alone, then so be it. I'll know i'll never be good enough, and i'll suck it up and accept the truth.


Let's not exaggerate.

Plus, that's pretty much what every guy fears when they ask people out. But we're manly men so we have to suck up that fear, right?


----------



## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Rainbat said:


> Let's not exaggerate.
> 
> Plus, that's pretty much what every guy fears when they ask people out. But we're manly men so we have to suck up that fear, right?


The worst part is that that's not an exaggeration.

I've always just figured that even if a guy is socially anxious, if he's interested, he will show it either consciously or subconsciously. It doesn't mean he has to ask the girl out directly. It's a lose-lose situation for both men and women. Men are pressured to ask the women out, and the women are pressured to wait for a man to approach them. It stinks.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

tbyrfan said:


> I would NEVER show interest in a guy or take initiative. I prefer to have guys approach me because then I KNOW they are interested. If I approached them, I could run the risk of them going out with me because they felt bad and thought I was a desperate charity case. That could lead to a terrible relationship where I was interested in the guy, but he had no interest. It's happened to people before.
> 
> When I showed interest in guys in the past (I was always shy, subdued and never too forward, just smiling and friendly conversation) I have been laughed at, ridiculed, and been told countless times that I am too ugly/not pretty enough for the guy or anyone. If I die alone, then so be it. I'll know i'll never be good enough, and i'll suck it up and accept the truth.


I have a eally hard time believing the second paragraph. And as for the first....that's what guys put themselves through every single day.

I don't know any guy who would start a relationship with someone as a charity case.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

How are women pressured to wait for someone to approach them? They are free to make their own decisions. For guys however, we absolutely have to make the moves or nothing will get done.


----------



## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

Any woman who's clear with her feelings/intentions is a winner in my book! Games, guess work, and confusion are all traits that I'd like to stay away from.


----------



## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

Myth: Women who approach men look desperate -- are a turn-off.
Fact: Women who approach men look like they know what they want -- and go after it without playing games -- is a turn-on.


----------



## SPC (May 14, 2011)

absolute yes. bravery is sexy.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

TPower said:


> Myth: Women who approach men look desperate -- are a turn-off.
> Fact: Women who approach men look like they know what they want -- and go after it without playing games -- is a turn-on.


True story.


----------



## Dane (Jul 27, 2009)

I have no preference one way or the other. Women who take the initaitive are just fine by me.


----------



## youngloc (Dec 23, 2009)

the only gf I got in my life took the initiative. So yes I much prefer those women cause I know I won't do anything


----------



## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

I've always waited for women to approach. Which is why I've never had a girlfriend. Actually I have been approached twice in my life. Once when I was 10 and once when I was 14. They were never my girlfriends though. The first one I liked somebody else. The next one was a 11 year old neighbor. I did like her but my family moved away not long after that.


----------



## brownzerg (Jan 8, 2012)

After nearly eleven years of chasing and not getting any closer I for one welcome a lady to approach me.
Plus it makes you feel desirable and as a man I get little enough of that as it is.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Yes, guys enjoy feeling desirable also.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Yes! Yes yes!


----------



## little toaster (Jul 5, 2012)

It depends.


----------



## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

It can be a huge turn-on for me. I've posted here before about how I flirted with my last gf, but I thought she was out of my league, I just wanted to be friends really. She was really beautiful, blond hair, stunning, deep blue eyes, 5 ft 6, a beautiful smile. I saw her get hit on by a few other guys.

She came up to me the next day, and sat on my lap, put her hand in mine, and locked her lips onto mine. That was awesome, it was like something out of a f*cking dream.


----------



## Lostsoulswander (Sep 27, 2012)

would love for this to happen.
maybe one day.


----------



## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

srschirm said:


> I have a eally hard time believing the second paragraph. And as for the first....that's what guys put themselves through every single day.
> 
> I don't know any guy who would start a relationship with someone as a charity case.


I'm not sure why that's so hard to believe. The people i've encountered are just plain mean - but then again, brutally honest. And there are indeed some men (and women) out there that have dated others out of pity.



srschirm said:


> How are women pressured to wait for someone to approach them? They are free to make their own decisions. For guys however, we absolutely have to make the moves or nothing will get done.


Women are constantly told never to make the first move. A lot of guys are extremely turned off when they do. It does give me hope that many of the men on this forum don't mind if a woman initiates, though!  If I were attractive and these stupid gender roles didn't exist, I would approach men without hesitation. If only it could just be simple and stress-free!! :roll


----------



## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

tbyrfan said:


> Women are constantly told never to make the first move. A lot of guys are extremely turned off when they do. It does give me hope that many of the men on this forum don't mind if a woman initiates, though!  If I were attractive and these stupid gender roles didn't exist, I would approach men without hesitation. If only it could just be simple and stress-free!! :roll


Not everyone has these social rules ingrained in their subconscious. Some of us see society from the outside and only try to observe and emulate the rules to try and achieve goals.

If a girl takes the initiative and talks to me, then I will think she might like me and I become very interested and want to know more about her. If a girl plays hard to get, then I will most likely misinterpret that to think she's just not that interested in me and I move on.

You don't have to ask a guy out. Just smile and talk to him so he knows that he's not hitting on the wrong person. Positive feedback.

I wish these social interactions didn't have to be so complicated. When I find a girl I like: what I'm thinking is "You're attractive and we have a lot in common. Want to be my girlfriend?" But no, social relationships don't work like that. There's this huge mountain of flirting and smalltalk that must be done first for some reason and no one can ever say what they actually want. It's all subtext. So aggravating.


----------



## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

Some dudes don't have a choice in the matter.


----------



## John316C (May 1, 2011)

really into? it doesnt matter too much to me


----------



## MaxPower (May 1, 2012)

kiwikiwi said:


> Guys ..are you really into women who like to take iniciative?


Hell yes! I love girls who are not afraid to go after something they want. Although I'm not bothered to initiative, but I do want to see equal input later on.


----------

