# Guys, what age would you revert to paying for sex?



## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

If you really thought 'ok, im x age, and no girlfriend yet. Its never going to happen'

?


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I will never pay for sex.

If I don't get a girlfriend by the time I'm 40, I think I'll simply just give up and watch porn. As I always do.


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

No STDs for me thank you.


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

Personally I would pay for it at 20. If it hasnt happend by then, its not ever going to.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Never in my lifetime


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

There is a lot of people saying never.

Why exactly?


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

On my death bed.


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

Droidsteel said:


> There is a lot of people saying never.
> 
> Why exactly?


For me, it really isn't worth the risk for a short lived pleasure.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Believe it or not, some guys are actually interested in having some kind of connection with a girl before having sex with her. (Or at least having HER interested in HIM, and not just his money.)

What does this solve, anyway? Is it really going to help your psyche?

_"I had a great time tonight. We should see each other again. Now here's your bill."

_To each their own, I guess?


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

Ansgar said:


> STD:s? It is not like a prostitute will let you take her without a condom. :um


Ehhh no thanks.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Never, I'm not that desperate.


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## low (Sep 27, 2009)

I was thinking about prostitution recently. Not considering going to a one, just in general. I don't really like it. I think it's a crock when we are degraded to having to pay for sex and then pay a small fortune at that. 

I haven't reached a conclusion in my thoughts on it yet. There's just something wrong standing out to me. It doesn't really seem fair, in a fairness in society context. Something about leverage. Want sex? Have to pay. At least, to loveshy types.


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

You always pay for sex. 

Your average date of dinner and a movie is going to run about $50. Marriage costs even more.


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

Just Lurking said:


> Believe it or not, some guys are actually interested in having some kind of connection with a girl before having sex with her. (Or at least having HER interested in HIM, and not just his money.)
> 
> What does this solve, anyway? Is it really going to help your psyche?
> 
> ...


Of couse im intrested in having a genuine relationship with a girl, but there is no way of getting that outside normal means, unlike sex.


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

Droidsteel said:


> There is a lot of people saying never.
> 
> Why exactly?


I have social anxiety. This means interacting with people is awkward and unpleasant. Especially strangers. If I can't stand saying hi in passing them on the street, I'm obviously not going to want to get intimate with them. People are, to be blunt, scary and icky unpredictable creatures from whom I try to maintain a safe distance.

Also, even without SA, masturbation is free so why not save my money for better things? And if I wanted to endure a stranger for empty sex, it seems like there are plenty of free desperate women out there.


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## Loveless (Apr 6, 2012)

Going to a strip club a few times last year and wasting money on that was bad enough. I'm not paying to actually screw a chick. Plus, I just want a girlfriend and I want to earn a relationship. paying for on would be like cheating and to me would be equal to giving up. For all my issues, I never ever will give up. I want love too much.


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## BobbyByThePound (Apr 4, 2012)

I would never hire a prostitute. Besides, all the ones I've seen are really unattractive anyways.


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## Loveless (Apr 6, 2012)

BobbyByThePound said:


> I would never hire a prostitute. Besides, all the ones I've seen are really unattractive anyways.


Considering the fact you live in Houston.... I'm really not surprised .


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Droidsteel said:


> There is a lot of people saying never.
> 
> Why exactly?


Some guys think it will destroy their soul if they pay a girl to touch their pee pee. It's stoopid. You have to pay in other ways - drinks, meals, etc. 20 is a good age to get some experience if you can't get a gf. The best and easiest time to get sex is in college. Getting some experience will help take away your anxiety over it and make it easier to relate to women.



BobbyByThePound said:


> I would never hire a prostitute. Besides, all the ones I've seen are really unattractive anyways.


The first one I went to was absolutely gorgeous. Saw her on craigslist and it was very easy to decide. Smokin' bod beautiful smile.


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

Loveless said:


> Considering the fact you live in Houston.... I'm really not surprised .


I'm torn between laughing and being offended.


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## Paperwings (Mar 6, 2012)

I'd never lose my self respect to that point, just meeting someone for sex isn't hard (well, with SA it could be) the real challenge is finding someone you get along with quite well for a relationship, and honestly you're probably better off being a virgin; think of it as a filter... say you're about to have sex with a woman and you tell her you're a virgin, if she reacts anyway other than smiling and continuing you get the hell out of dodge, because she's most likely not going to be decent relationship material assuming she doesn't drop you right then (which again, good to get it over sooner) I'm becoming an excellent judge of character, and I can tell you with confidence this is sound advice. 

Also, off-topic similar advice; avoid online dating if you're young... best advice I've gotten that I should have listened to right off, but I am a skeptic. -shrug-


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## Loveless (Apr 6, 2012)

rednosereindeer said:


> I'm torn between laughing and being offended.


I have that effect on people


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

Amocholes said:


> You always pay for sex.
> 
> Your average date of dinner and a movie is going to run about $50. Marriage costs even more.


+100.

Traditional courtship is glorified prostitution.


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## missingno (Sep 29, 2011)

24 years 4 months and 2 days sounds about right


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## Syndacus (Aug 9, 2011)

Never....I'm not that desperate for something that holds no emotional attachment.


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## Blawnka (Dec 12, 2011)

If I'm still a virgin when I'm 29 - 35, I'll probably be taking pity on myself around then.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

I don't care as much about being a virgin as being emotionally unattached and even immature due to lack of intimacy. So a prostitute would do nothing for me.


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## Col (Mar 18, 2012)

Amocholes said:


> You always pay for sex.
> 
> Your average date of dinner and a movie is going to run about $50. Marriage costs even more.


That's not a real relationship then. My boyfriend and I always spent the same amount of money on each other. 
Maybe some people actually want a true relationship where it's not just purchasing sex through direct payment or otherwise?


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## Tommy5000 (Jun 18, 2011)

Never. Dont WASTE your cash.


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

It's such damaged thinking that experiencing sex will somehow make it more possible to have a romantic relationship later. Going to a prostitute will give you one experience of sex completely outside a relationship, much like picking up a one night stand or something. That's not a bad thing. I think if you want that you should have that. But a lot of men I hear on SAS who are planning to go to a prostitute if they are X years old and still a virgin are either doing to have the experience ('notch in the belt' if you will) or because they think it will make them feel better about not having had any relationships.

Losing your virginity, the act of sex on its own, is nothing special. Mingling of body fluids then you're done. What some of the virgins here seem to crave more than sticking it in a woman is the experience that comes from a romantic relationship or really the feeling of connection with a female on any meaningful level. I believe that visiting a prostitute will not help if this is what you want. You'll go from an unhappy virgin to an unhappy not-virgin, which sounds extremely depressing to me, especially after building up losing your virginity to be this great life-changing hallmark of maturity. Relationship experience is not the same thing as sexual experience. I'd find it extremely off-putting and a dealbreaker if I were dating someone who told me that they went to a prostitute to lose their virginity or to gain confidence in dating or whatever. There's an implication in doing that that the entire experience of a relationship only boils down to sex. 

If you think that the only thing a romantic parter will do for you is to have free sex as often as you'd like, then I don't know what to say. You're in for a very difficult time finding a relationship, I fear, because that attitude is often painfully painfully visible and may give women the wrong idea about you. I mean I know you don't want to hear it, but it's a naive point of view at best, and misogynistic at worst.


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## UgShy (Mar 6, 2012)

Just Lurking said:


> Believe it or not, some guys are actually interested in having some kind of connection with a girl before having sex with her. (Or at least having HER interested in HIM, and not just his money.)
> 
> What does this solve, anyway? Is it really going to help your psyche?
> 
> ...


Exactly this. I'd never pay for sex


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## SeverelyShyandQuiet (Aug 13, 2006)

A friend's neighbor was stuck in a motel, because a prostitute in Las Vegas took his clothes . So his employer my neighbor, had to bring him some clothes. He had to drive 60 miles to Las Vegas.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Nada said:


> For me, it really isn't worth the risk for a short lived pleasure.


Yep - that's one demon I'd like to leave sequestered to Hell.



Just Lurking said:


> Believe it or not, some guys are actually interested in having some kind of connection with a girl before having sex with her. (Or at least having HER interested in HIM, and not just his money.)
> 
> What does this solve, anyway? Is it really going to help your psyche?
> 
> ...


Sex is meant for bonding - there's more to it than the physical act. People use it like it's a sport or a means of dependency - without getting into a relationship.

I can't just "give all my millenniummanliness" to just any girl.



Ospi said:


> Never, I'm not that desperate.


I'm not either - whether or not I am a bogan. :lol



low said:


> I was thinking about prostitution recently. Not considering going to a one, just in general. I don't really like it. I think it's a crock when we are degraded to having to pay for sex and then pay a small fortune at that.
> 
> I haven't reached a conclusion in my thoughts on it yet. There's just something wrong standing out to me. It doesn't really seem fair, in a fairness in society context. Something about leverage. Want sex? Have to pay. At least, to loveshy types.


It almost sounded you were going to become a gigolo or something. :um.



UgShy said:


> Exactly this. I'd never pay for sex


Yep - I wouldn't either.


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## Wall of Red (Jun 24, 2011)

I was in the last few weeks of my 24th year when I paid for sex. It went very well but I think that was because the woman spoke little English so I didn't have the anxiety of speaking to her much during the time we were together (I have a stutter so I worry about my speech in social settings). I have visited two more escorts more recently though and had bad experiences. With the 2nd one I couldn't penetrate her (I guess just due to lack of experience on my part and her being tight) and with the 3rd one I came way too quickly before we had even gotten to the penetration part. I think this was because I hadn't masturbated for about 4 days prior to the meeting however so don't make the same mistake as me there. 

I would recommend going to an escort/prostitute if you can't get a girlfriend but be aware that it is a very stresful thing to do for someone with SA (throw in a stutter and it is even worse) and you may be so nervous that it effects your performance. 

Just for the record on a personal level I do want a girlfriend and would much prefer that to just paying for sex but despite a lot of trying on my part over the years (and I'm still trying) I can't get one.


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## hmnut (Aug 8, 2011)

I won't judge anyone who does, but based on the stigma presented by this topic alone I would suggest SA guys don't. 

I don't think there is anything morally wrong with it. People talk about all this bonding, and sex is suppose to be about a meaningful relationship... give me a break. 

Yeah that's wonderful, and that's the ideal. But prostitution or not we know for a fact that many people have sex and "relationship" has nothing to do with it. 

Gold diggers have sex for money, Player have sex for sex, people have one night stands every day. Hell the kids at Spring Break do nothing but drink and ****. I don't think any of them go to Spring break planning to meet their soul mates. 

So let's cut the crap of "omg if you see a prostitute you committed the greatest sin in the world by not having sex in a committed relationship with someone you love." 

Funny how you never hear a girl say "It's a deal breaker for me to date a guy who lost his virginity with a girl from Spring Break."

Exhale... having said that. That is merely my opinion. And hard as I try I can not make my opinion the opinion of the world. Thus for whatever reason logical or not, moral or not, seeing a prostitute is viewed as the worst possible thing a man can do by most women (and a lot of men). SA men who have trouble dating women anyway should not do something that puts them on the bad side of the majority of women if they can avoid it. 

Oh but you will keep it a secret? But now you're keeping secrets. 

Oh but you will find a girl who understands why you did it? But if you are considering this then let's face it you have trouble getting girls. Trying to find one open minded... a lot harder than you think.

Seeing a prostitute has such a massive stigma I would suggest against it, but I personally make no judgements. The act of two consenting adults is none of my business.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

hmnut said:


> I won't judge anyone who does, but based on the stigma presented by this topic alone I would suggest SA guys don't.
> 
> I don't think there is anything morally wrong with it. People talk about all this bonding, and sex is suppose to be about a meaningful relationship... give me a break.
> 
> ...


I'm one of those women that don't care if a guy has seen an prostitute/escort in his past. As long as he is not doing it when were dating ahhh. And please people a lot of escorts do get tested so enough of "omg they are dirty" What is more dirty is having a one night stand with some "dirty" stranger...meh


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

What I fear most, other than the idea of being arrested, is the fact that I may be made fun of. I imagine that hookers see plenty of male virgins, but I still fear that I would be judged by someone that I was *paying* to spend time with me!

And the truth is that I am against drug abuse and crime, and many times the hookers are being abused. And of course, there is the fear of being beaten up by a pimp.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

meganmila said:


> I'm one of those women that don't care if a guy has seen an prostitute/escort in his past. As long as he is not doing it when were dating ahhh. And please people a lot of escorts do get tested so enough of "omg they are dirty" What is more dirty is having a one night stand with some "dirty" stranger...meh


It wouldn't bother me either if the guy had seen escorts a few times in the past. Now if he saw them regularly, I might question his sexuality. It would mean he doesn't really mind all that much if his partner wants to have sex with him or not. That's sort of yucky.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

Do SA women who haven't had sex consider paying for it also? I never see threads like that on here.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

komorikun said:


> I think there was one a couple months ago. But in general it is free since men are so easy. Just put one ad on craigslist saying you are lonely and you will get 30-40 emails within a couple hours.


30-40 emails... and I bet that's even an ad with no picture in it. Is sex overvalued?


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## Puppet Master (Jan 1, 2012)

At no age I'll be found dead long before that. As for why a mixture of pride and a lack of interest.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

rdrr said:


> 30-40 emails... and I bet that's even an ad with no picture in it. Is sex overvalued?


Yeah, no pictures. And the guys will send their pictures first too. I don't know if it's overvalued but it's because men want more casual sex than women do. I'm sure it's pretty easy for gay men to get laid also. But I lost interest in it cause most of those guys will only want to have sex once or twice and then they are off on the search for new p*ssy. Sex doesn't get good until you have been with the person for a while. So it's just a waste of time.


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## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

Probably mid 30s. I don't know though. I wanna say I would, but I'm not sure if I would. I'm too sensitive. I'd probably bump it up to mid 40s, and keep hoping, bump it up again, etc. lol

You never know though. :\


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

komorikun said:


> Yeah, no pictures. And the guys will send their pictures first too. I don't know if it's overvalued but it's because men want more casual sex than women do. I'm sure it's pretty easy for gay men to get laid also. But I lost interest in it cause most of those guys will only want to have sex once or twice and then they are off on the search for new p*ssy. Sex doesn't get good until you have been with the person for a while. So it's just a waste of time.


I've never had casual sex with different partners before. I cannot obtain it, only within the constraints of a relationship. Where are all the people who want relationships hiding? Or are there none? But is the need for a relationship more about the desire to have someone in your life to care about, as opposed to the consistent sex it brings?


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## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

Never.


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

I don't know. I've considered it for a while now. I'm not naive to think that it will solve my SA problems, or any problems really, but prostitutes and one night stands may be my only chance at sex, and the curiosity keeps nagging me. Despite making some progress with SA over the years, the fear of attachment still haunts me as much as ever, maybe more than ever. Love hasn't been too kind to me, but maybe lust will.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

komorikun said:


> Ideally, I would like a relationship since I'm lonely and don't have much of any friends. I'd like to go on outings with someone and would enjoy the company. But if I could at least get regular sex with someone I am attracted to then I would be much happier than I am now.
> 
> One night stands are super easy to find but it takes a lot of work to find a boyfriend. Need to go on many, many online dates and send zillions of messages. I just don't have the time for that now. School is sucking up all my time.


Going out and dating is very much a time, and emotional investment. For me, it has been work as my excuse. The last few dates I've been on have left me just mentally exhausted. What if you found someone at school, who is in need of a friend, and something more? Bond with them there, and such?


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

komorikun said:


> Highly unlikely. I don't really talk very much in most of my classes. Only in my science labs. I met all the men I have been with online or at bars, except for maybe 1 or 2. Also the men in my major are not attractive (accounting), not to mention that most are over 10 years younger than me.


Sounds like a rut. I guess then look for friends moreso than potential partners, to cure the loneliness? Work more at general chatting with classmates? Join groups if you have the time, outside of school? The age gap must be frustrating, is it impossible to connect with someone purely due to that?


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

rdrr said:


> Sounds like a rut. I guess then look for friends moreso than potential partners, to cure the loneliness? Work more at general chatting with classmates? Join groups if you have the time, outside of school? The age gap must be frustrating, is it impossible to connect with someone purely due to that?


Yeah, I was going to some meetup groups before but I didn't really make any friends, just acquaintances. I wasn't looking for guys or anything. So I got kind of grumpy about the whole thing and stopped going. Maybe I will go again during the break. Just during the semester I can't be assed to spend 30-45 minutes each way to go to one of these things when I have an exam almost every week. I can chit chat and stuff but there is something about my personality that turns off people or at least makes them not want to be more than an acquaintance.

For friendship as long as the person is over the age of say 24 it would be okay but for dating I'm trying to not date guys younger than 28. I am physically attracted to younger guys but I would guess they are not ready for settling down. I'm 35.


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## mzmz (Feb 26, 2012)

*yes!*



hmnut said:


> I won't judge anyone who does, but based on the stigma presented by this topic alone I would suggest SA guys don't.
> 
> I don't think there is anything morally wrong with it. People talk about all this bonding, and sex is suppose to be about a meaningful relationship... give me a break.
> 
> ...


awesome response! all of it!


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## mzmz (Feb 26, 2012)

Iv'e had random night one stands before. I used to do it out of frustration and in need of love. Now, dont feel i need love but i want sex, so i may try to find a craigslst encounter.
I'm kinda picky, though so maybe not..


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

I was actually considering taking up a career as a prostitute, if interested call 5450958989.........Strictly women only!:teeth

......Oh wait 'must have previous experience' ....Damn! The joy of job seeking!


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## talisman (Aug 5, 2005)

Hopefully never, and certainly not for my first time. Since its so difficult to find a willing woman, when I eventually do it'll make it a much greater achievment than just paying.


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

^This, my self esteem would be lower knowing i had to pay a woman to sleep with me.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

i'm never gonna pay money for sex.


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## CrimsonTrigger (Jun 28, 2011)

No age. Never payed for sex, never will. 

Do you mean revert to as in going back to it, or resort to as in using it as the last option?


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I think, if I turn 35 and I still am a virgin, I will pay for it.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

After seeing 15-20 escorts and being hiv free I would rather stay single forever..unless I can find a partner...:duck


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## Luka92 (Dec 13, 2011)

I'm not sure, I sometimes think about doing that, but then I change my mind.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

How about, never?


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## Luna Sea (Apr 4, 2012)

Droidsteel said:


> Personally I would pay for it at 20. If it hasnt happend by then, its not ever going to.


I'd like to point out that quite a lot of members on this site lost their virginity after 20, myself included.

Anyway, I don't think I'd ever have gone to a prostitute, certainly not as my first time (and not because it would taint my soul or anything, I just don't think it would be enjoyable, just really anxiety-inducing). I already blow more money than I'd like on drinking and food, I don't need to add unsatisfying sex to that.


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## OneVision (Jun 23, 2012)

For me it would be never. If I don't have sex during my life, I'm fine with that.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Why would you wait until you're old to get laid? Why not enjoy sex while you are in your sexual prime? If you can't get it for "free" (at the end of the day you always pay. Even in 2012 with all this feminist lip service, most women still believe in traditional courtship. And that includes paying!), just pay for it. This is not an experience you should be missing out on when you're young.

Love is ****ing amazing. But there's nothing wrong with having some fun too while you're young. Get it out of your system.


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## Suraj (Jun 22, 2012)

When I was younger I did think about this, and it was a fantasy of mine, hooking up with a prostitute..But it is not no more as I am more educated about what is going on.

For one there are numerious chances that you can catch a disease such as HIV or AIDS or an STD...so it is not worth it.

Also from a moral perspective, these women are useally young, are being forced to do it, doing it for a drug addiction, leaving their kids behind and so on...It just will not feel right to take advantage of a person in a situation like this who does not want to be prostituting in the first place....Even if they say they like it, they are only doing it because of passed experiences such as rape, or needing it for money....No one wants to sell their body for sex. There are underlying problems going on here...

As a man, you just have to put your penis aside and think. There are always things you can do to improve yourself to get a girl and there is always porn. There are guys out there who are, sorry sound mean, ugly as hell and mean as hell, but are still able to get girls...So if they can, so can you...That's how I look at it...


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## low (Sep 27, 2009)

I would not. I think it's wrong to put money into the pockets of women capitalising from the feminist centric system which disposes of and rejects loveshy men in the first place. I just can't.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

low said:


> I would not. I think it's wrong to put money into the pockets of women capitalising from the feminist centric system which disposes of and rejects loveshy men in the first place. I just can't.


This is true. Prostitutes are captializing on the fact that women are choosy as hell about who they get into a relationship with or sleep with.

I think labelling it as a "feminist centric" system is amusing though. Expecting a guy to pay her tab on dates is not feminist. But yeah lots of girls who claim to be pro-women's rights want their cake and to eat it too (equal rights only when it's in their favour. Traditional gender roles only when it's in their favour).

There was an article I read the other day that the sexual revolution did not make things easier for guys. It only made things better for the top 20% of men (the alphas) while screwing over the rest. The 80/20 rule.

Back in say oh I don't know post-WII 1940s, I'm sure I would have been able to find a good wife without much difficulty. Men back in those days had stable jobs and could provide. Women back in those days were looking for mates to marry and bear children with not long after finishing school. Nowadays, with the delaying of marriage and child rearing, women feel like they have all the time in the world so they feel like the shy, socially awkward guy is beneath them and not worthy of giving a chance. Maybe they'll give him a chance when she's like 35+ and her ovaries are near their expiration date. And even then, many women in their late 30s and early 40s are opting instead to just remain single and childless (even if they actually want children).


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Men are not very nice to most women they sleep with unless they really, really like the person. So I don't really feel sorry for men that have to pay for sex (well maybe a little for shy men). I would bet the majority of johns are not shy men. Most are just looking for easy sex without the effort/commitment or want to sleep with someone out of their league.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

phoenixwright said:


> This is true. Prostitutes are captializing on the fact that women are choosy as hell about who they get into a relationship with or sleep with.
> 
> I think labelling it as a "feminist centric" system is amusing though. Expecting a guy to pay her tab on dates is not feminist. But yeah lots of girls who claim to be pro-women's rights want their cake and to eat it too (equal rights only when it's in their favour. Traditional gender roles only when it's in their favour).
> 
> ...


People are having way more sex now than in the 1940s for sure. They didn't have much choices in birth control back then. You also have to realize that the 1950s was unusual in that many women could afford not to work. Before that a large percentage of women did work. They just got paid way less than men due to discrimination.

Do you really want a wife that married you because she didn't have much choice and has to think of the queen of England (or her favorite actor) while having sex with you?


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## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

phoenixwright said:


> Back in say oh I don't know post-WII 1940s, I'm sure I would have been able to find a good wife without much difficulty. Men back in those days had stable jobs and could provide. Women back in those days were looking for mates to marry and bear children with not long after finishing school. Nowadays, with the delaying of marriage and child rearing, women feel like they have all the time in the world so they feel like the shy, socially awkward guy is beneath them and not worthy of giving a chance. Maybe they'll give him a chance when she's like 35+ and her ovaries are near their expiration date. And even then, many women in their late 30s and early 40s are opting instead to just remain single and childless (even if they actually want children).


It's funny that you say that, because in my experiences it's been the fact that most guys I like don't want to be in relationships, they're afraid to be with one person and would rather just pick and choose. Or, they do want a relationship, and their ideal woman is some gorgeous beauty queen, and go after all the overly-done types, but in the end are disappointed when they're not relationship material.

I actually want a relationship, and honestly I'd go out with any nice guy who was interested and give them a chance to get to know them. The problem with that is, they tend to be interested off of appearances, and I end up getting stuck on a date with someone who wants to have sex right away, instead of actually getting to know me. So I like to get to know people first, then consider dating. Unfortunately my guy friends are just into a certain type of woman who just isn't the kind who wants a relationship, or is too demanding/needy.

My point is, not all women are picky as hell, and no I'm not desperate, I'd just like to meet someone who isn't at this stage of life where they're just going to sleep around and get wasted all the time to figure things out. I don't feel like men are "beneath me", or that I have to search for the "perfect" one. A lot of the time guys intimidate me when they start getting insecure and paranoid about women doing "this" or "that" and starts to sound like we're all the enemy or something.

I'm also very shy (S.A. anyone? xP) so of course relationships don't come easily.


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

komorikun said:


> Men are not very nice to most women they sleep with unless they really, really like the person. So I don't really feel sorry for men that have to pay for sex (well maybe a little for shy men). I would bet the majority of johns are not shy men. Most are just looking for easy sex without the effort/commitment or want to sleep with someone out of their league.


Yeh all men are spawn of the devil, with no compassion or empathy. we get it.

But thats nothing to do with the thread topic :b


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Droidsteel said:


> Yeh all men are spawn of the devil, with no compassion or empathy. we get it.
> 
> But thats nothing to do with the thread topic :b


Ooops, not all. I forgot to put "many" men blah blah blah blah.


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## erasercrumbs (Dec 17, 2009)

I wouldn't. Not necessarily because I'm a moral heavyweight, because I'm not. But because such a situation wouldn't provide me with the emotional validation and sense of approval I seek.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

komorikun said:


> You also have to realize that the 1950s was unusual in that many women could afford not to work. Before that a large percentage of women did work. They just got paid way less than men due to discrimination.


Or you could attribute it to things like the type of work chosen, the fact women have to go on maternity leave, etc.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

komorikun said:


> People are having way more sex now than in the 1940s for sure.


They also settled down earlier. http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0005061.html

So sex was readily available, it was just with the same person.


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## gomenne (Oct 3, 2009)

Why is it that women would not go as far as paying someone for sex. I'm talking in geeral here, I know some women would do it. 
But men are so eager to actually pay for sex, I find that really disturbing. Is it really that impossible to control yourselves ?
I mean really is it truly not possible to control yourself ? I know it's something we humans want so badly, but still.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

gomenne said:


> Why is it that women would not go as far as paying someone for sex. I'm talking in geeral here, I know some women would do it.
> But men are so eager to actually pay for sex, I find that really disturbing. Is it really that impossible to control yourselves ?
> I mean really is it truly not possible to control yourself ? I know it's something we humans want so badly, but still.


It's difficult, it's something we desire so badly.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

srschirm said:


> Or you could attribute it to things like the type of work chosen, the fact women have to go on maternity leave, etc.


They were quite actively discriminated against. I saw this documentary about the women who worked during World War 2. Many of them wanted to continue doing the same job but most were fired to make space for men coming back home after the war. They interviewed this one woman who really liked welding and was quite good at it but employers told her to her face they'd hire her if she weren't a woman. So she went back to working in a kitchen at a school where she was paid like probably 50% less than her previous welding job.



srschirm said:


> They also settled down earlier. http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0005061.html
> 
> So sex was readily available, it was just with the same person.


Yeah, I was looking at that link too. You might notice that men got married pretty late before the 1950s. In 1890, the average age of first marriage was 26. So that pretty much meant waiting until you were engaged to have sex or the occasional prostitute.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

I think Komorikun is underestimating how much men visit escorts to alleviate loneliness and the want of female warmth. I don't know what the scene is like in the Bay Area but here in Toronto, from what I've heard about the scene and from guys I know who have hobbied, most escorts nowadays offer GFE (girlfriend experience). Which includes kissing, including french kissing. Now tell me. Why do hobbyists want to kiss prostitutes? And some escorts have gone on record saying that they have received marriage proposals from clients or the clients will be like "leave this life and be with me." Lots of these guys have "regulars" that they go to. The number of men that are seeking something more than the physical from this hobby is greater than you think.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

komorikun said:


> They were quite actively discriminated against. I saw this documentary about the women who worked during World War 2. Many of them wanted to continue doing the same job but most were fired to make space for men coming back home after the war. They interviewed this one woman who really liked welding and was quite good at it but employers told her to her face they'd hire her if she weren't a woman. So she went back to working in a kitchen at a school where she was paid like probably 50% less than her previous welding job.
> 
> Yeah, I was looking at that link too. You might notice that men got married pretty late before the 1950s. In 1890, the average age of first marriage was 26. So that pretty much meant waiting until you were engaged to have sex or the occasional prostitute.


Not sure to what extent premarital sex went in in 1890.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

bezoomny said:


> You'll go from an unhappy virgin to an unhappy not-virgin, .


 Not true in my case. I was much happier after learing that I could have sex with really hot women as long as I had some cash.



bezoomny said:


> I'd find it extremely off-putting and a dealbreaker if I were dating someone who told me that they went to a prostitute to lose their virginity or to gain confidence in dating or whatever.


Guys don't actually TELL women that they've been to hookers my dear. Everybody lies.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

phoenixwright said:


> I think Komorikun is underestimating how much men visit escorts to alleviate loneliness and the want of female warmth. I don't know what the scene is like in the Bay Area but here in Toronto, from what I've heard about the scene and from guys I know who have hobbied, most escorts nowadays offer GFE (girlfriend experience). Which includes kissing, including french kissing. Now tell me. Why do hobbyists want to kiss prostitutes? And some escorts have gone on record saying that they have received marriage proposals from clients or the clients will be like "leave this life and be with me." Lots of these guys have "regulars" that they go to. The number of men that are seeking something more than the physical from this hobby is greater than you think.


There may be some guys who go because they are lonely. It's not like you can find data on this subject. I just read stuff from articles and blogs by women who do massage/hand jobs.

They want to kiss for the same reason they want to have sex. Cause kissing is fun.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

komorikun said:


> There may be some guys who go because they are lonely. It's not like you can find data on this subject.
> 
> They want to kiss for the same reason they want to have sex. Cause kissing is fun.


I go a couple months with nary a hug sometimes, depending if I see family or not. I can understand what it is like not having any physical affection.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

komorikun said:


> They want to kiss for the same reason they want to have sex. Cause kissing is fun.


There's that too. I just think it's interesting that most escorts now offer GFE. It suggests that a significant number of clients expect kissing before/during/after sex.

For me it's hard for me to imagine sex without kissing. It sets the mood.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

I'm not big on kissing. Does anyone make lip condums? You can get herpies.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

phoenixwright said:


> For me it's hard for me to imagine sex without kissing. It sets the mood.


Kissing is one of the best things in the world.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

scarpia said:


> I'm not big on kissing. Does anyone make lip condums? You can get herpies.


You can risk the same thing kissing some random promiscuous chick at a bar. I hate it when people constantly point out "prostitutes are dirty" when there are so many dirty bar/club skanks out there that don't use condoms (or use them consistently). Go watch amateur porn or homemade videos and pics that people have put up on hookup sites. The vast majority of it is bareback. If it was just couples, that's one thing. But a lot of this amateur stuff involved hookups or wives having extramarital sex with other men and what not.

The whole condom thing sucks. But if you're not in a serious relationship, you gotta use them. Thankfully HIV is next to impossible to get if you are a heterosexual man (this is not PC but it's the truth. It's way, way harder for a guy to get HIV from a woman than it is for a woman to get HIV from a guy. Magic Johnson had lots of notches under his belt and he tried his luck one too many times.)


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

You can also get genital herpes when receiving oral sex from someone with oral herpes, especially if they have a sore at the time.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

komorikun said:


> You can also get genital herpes when receiving oral sex from someone with oral herpes, especially if they have a sore at the time.


Are you sure about that? HSV1 (oral herpes) has a 80% prevalence rate in the US. HSV2 (genital herpes) is more like 15-20%.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

phoenixwright said:


> Are you sure about that? HSV1 (oral herpes) has a 80% prevalence rate in the US. HSV2 (genital herpes) is more like 15-20%.


I meant HSV1 on your genitals. If you already have it on your mouth then you probably can't get it on your genitals though. HSV1 prefers the mouth and HSV2 prefers the genitals but they can live in either area. I'm not sure about that 80% prevalence rate. Here it says 58%.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes#Epidemiology

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epidemiology_of_herpes_simplex


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

Komorkun is right. If someone has oral herpes and then goes down on someone it's possible for the other person to get it on their genitals ..especially when they have a sore...buuut you can also get it if the person has nothing on the mouth..the possibility is lower but it can still happen which is scary.

And like she said if you already have oral herpes then you probably won't get it on your privates.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

phoenixwright said:


> You can risk the same thing kissing some random promiscuous chick at a bar.


 I DEFINITELY don't kiss random promiscuous chicks at bars.


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## GD8 (May 7, 2011)

I would never in a million years pay for sex


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

phoenixwright said:


> Are you sure about that? HSV1 (oral herpes) has a 80% prevalence rate in the US. HSV2 (genital herpes) is more like 15-20%.


You can. But to me, these things just aren't worth worrying about.


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## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

Never, its not that I am against paying for sex as sex is always paid for in some way. So I actually have paid for sex, just not in cash, although really it wasn't that as sex is just something that came with it. Its just I dont care about it enough outside a relationship to pay any cost for it. It isn't something I would actively seek.

If someone came to me though and said "ill have sex with you for X price", id be like go on then ^_^. But I would never actively go out of my way to seek it.

Age is irrelevant in this instance.


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