# Therapy = Not Enough Time To Be Effective



## cellophanegirl (Sep 21, 2009)

I have seen a few therapists over the years (currently I'm not seeing anyone). 

However, while I think the idea of therapy is generally a good one, I feel like a one hour therapy session once a week is hardly enough time to make a significant difference in someone's life. I feel this was especially true for me as a person with SA. Therapy was extremely difficult for me to get though because having to talk for the entire session about my deepest issues was hard to do. I'd sometimes feel like I was finally able to open up within the last 15 mins, and then bam, session over. 

Also, sometimes you have major issues you want to talk about in the middle of the week, but by the time you get around to your session, they've sort of faded into the background, and you end up just pushing them aside.

If found that friends are much better than therapists a lot of the time. No, they don't always have a therapist's insight, but they are there for you when you're feeling low, and not just once a week when you are scheduled to meet them. Yes I am aware that not everyone has friends, or maybe you have ****ty friends who you can't talk to about important things. This sucks, I've been there, and I'm pretty much going there again. However, please be aware that when you go to a therapist you are basically paying for a formal social interaction, where the other person is forced to sit there and listen to you spew off about your damages for about an hour.


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## Lachlan (Jul 3, 2008)

^ yeah, but they are not really supposed to be just emotional support. I thought they were supposed to help the clients help themselves. Isn't this how they differ from friends? I agree it can take time to warm up with speaking to them. People i've been to wouldn't be adverse to meeting more than once a week.


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## cellophanegirl (Sep 21, 2009)

They might not be adverse to meeting multiple times a week, but they're surely not going to do so for free. Most health plans have a limited number of therapy sessions you're allowed per year, and after that you're going to be paying out of pocket. 

I suppose you're right in that it's not their job to be your emotional support. But I feel like emotional support is what I need, not just one painful hour a week to talk about myself, and not really ever get anywhere. Also, therapists rarely say anything helpful, they just listen to you and parrot back what you say to them. I might as well walk into a cave and listen to my echo bounce off the wall. That would probably be as helpful as therapy, plus it's free, and there's no time limit.


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## Lachlan (Jul 3, 2008)

As I understand it, the aim of the therapist varies slightly depending on what kind of a therapy they are practicing. but I think the general idea is to first listen, and ask questions, and get a good sense of the person they are working with (this may take some time). Then, hopefully they are able to see things about you that you don't realize yourself, more to do with your underlying beliefs and perspectives. Then if they are able to identify anything that they think could be changed slightly and might have a beneficial effect, they will try to help. The form that this help takes varies between therapies and therapists.


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## cellophanegirl (Sep 21, 2009)

Lachlan said:


> I think the general idea is to first listen, and ask questions, and get a good sense of the person they are working with (this may take some time).


Exactly. TIME. Time which you don't have, because you only get to meet with them once a week for one hour. Therapy is like SSRIs. For all the money and energy you put into them, the benefits are only mild at best.


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

I always wrote down the stuff I was thinking about during the middle of the week so I could remember to bring it up.


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## ChocolateCake (Feb 27, 2011)

Yes I felt the same as you cellophangirl. Usually during the week some problems pop up and than I think "This is it! This is a fundamental problem, I will have to discuss this to the bottom with the therapist". But than in front of the therapist I only could give a dull theoretical description. And than after the session everything would start popping up again (just like you always come up with witty responses some time after you should have said them ) Usually writing the problem down and everything around it can help alot, you don't have to show that paper to the therapist but I just used it to refresh my mind just before the session.

You get some 'friendship' and help from your therapist by paying money. You get the same from friends by paying with... friendship and help  That's why I sometimes felt that the therapist was a little bit plastic, like she just was playing a role (which of course she usually is). Don't get me wrong: they really do a great job and without them the world would be worse. I see my therapist as somebody where I can fall back on when the friends let me down


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