# Do You Attend Events/Parties?



## melancholyscorpio (Aug 14, 2015)

I have been to Christmas parties at my previous workplaces but I didn't go last year at my current one and won't be going this year.

It would be awkward for me to as the guys don't like me.

I also do not like the boss and his wife. They also don't like me. I understand they invited me as a courtesy but it was weird when my boss asked again and said I can bring a friend if I feel anxious. Also his wife encouraged me to go which was weird.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

I have hardly ever worked and the places I worked were mostly populated by people who didn't stay long enough to really get to know anyone. The overall theme at min wage jobs like that is just filling slots with warm bodies. Though it probably would have been wise of them to make their employees feel at least slightly appreciated, they just don't.

Anyway, no. I had a few friends from there who I would hang out with after work sometimes but those weren't parties. I think it would have felt very weird to go to a party with the boss.


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## CarpeLibrum (Jun 2, 2015)

I've attended a few Christmas parties on occasion. However, I am ever cognizant of the fact that my coworkers are merely coworkers and not friends, so I intentionally keep them at a distance and have turned down invitations to Christmas parties. Those gatherings don't exactly bring me joy and the companies I've worked for have been pretty stingy with the alcohol. I also think it feels weird spending an extended amount of time with any of them outside of the office.


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## amidrey4 (Oct 28, 2021)

I used to attained Christmas parties but did not like to. I keep my personal life separate, so I do not have any office friends, and I feel lonely at parties. Many times I go and meet all of them and leave.


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## JH1983 (Nov 14, 2013)

Never had a job that had parties or events.


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## Socialmisfits (May 14, 2021)

So it is job related? Then no as I never had a job.
Socially yes but I really really dislike it these days.


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## irishkarl (Apr 20, 2020)

WillYouStopDave said:


> I have hardly ever worked and the places I worked were mostly populated by people who didn't stay long enough to really get to know anyone. The overall theme at min wage jobs like that is just filling slots with warm bodies. Though it probably would have been wise of them to make their employees feel at least slightly appreciated, they just don't.
> 
> Anyway, no. I had a few friends from there who I would hang out with after work sometimes but those weren't parties. I think it would have felt very weird to go to a party with the boss.


Nah i dont go to xmas parties, i never go to parties, id have more fun on this forum than going there. Screw that


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

I used to go to parties when I was a lot younger - a good friend seemed to always know people that were having one so I'd tag along with her. Some were okay I guess - quite a bit of grass (weed) around back then so it made relaxing easier.

I went to a few work things but mostly just ones that were actually at work. They were alright but not that special. Just people drinking too much champagne and then going back to their desk and finding it hard to get anything done. That's what it was like for me anyway.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

Prior to last year I was a bit lower tiered and we just had a small get together in the office for our department for Christmas. I and some others would get invited to the professional staff's outing to one of their places or to a bar or whatever it was, but I never went. Last year I was pulled into being more of a manager, but we didn't have a party due to Covid. This year they're trying to set up something, but I have no desire to go. They gathered in the office and went out for "happy hour" a month or so ago, but I made sure I had an excuse. My manager is talking about a few of us getting spicy food from a restaurant and eating at the office, which I might do, but in general I have no desire to hang out with anybody from work when I'm not at work. Plus, I know that I'd only be a drag on them.


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## Cletis (Oct 10, 2011)

We're paid to attend the company parties so you had better be there.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Work has always been a means to an end for me, as soon as I clock out I’m done, I don’t think about it or consider it all until I have to return. I’ve got nothing against having work friends but I don’t take it beyond that & have no interest in such events outside the actual job. That said, I’ve done dinners with certain work crews on occasion when we did some crazy 14-16 hours shifts to make the boss look good & as a reward we all got expensive dinners on his dime


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

Nope, and I never intend to go to any either unless forced to do so.


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## MCHB (Jan 1, 2013)

Sometimes.


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

Nah. I've never felt the need, though I let myself get dragged to a few when I was younger. It's not for me, that's for sure. In fact, even after experiencing parties and clubs, the concept of a designated location and time where for a social gathering without a concrete aim still mystifies me.


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## CeilingStarer (Dec 29, 2009)

I typically just suck it up and go these days (with an early exit plan). It's easier than the stress of excuses & being shunned.


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## either/or (Apr 27, 2020)

I don't do anything or go anywhere lol so no. I used to attend events back a few years ago when I was going to the office every day and still had some friends. Now, nothing.



melancholyscorpio said:


> I also do not like the boss and his wife. They also don't like me. I understand they invited me as a courtesy but it was weird when my boss asked again and said I can bring a friend if I feel anxious. Also his wife encouraged me to go which was weird.


People can act and feel differently in different contexts. Maybe they do not like you at work within that context for some reason but do not dislike you as a person and so would be more amiable at an event outside of work when the pressures of the workplace are no longer present. It may be a good idea to go and show them another side of yourself so they get to know you outside of the dynamics of your workplace. Just a suggestion though, obviously I do not understand the situation fully.


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## Whatswhat (Jan 28, 2018)

We’ve never had a Christmas party at any of my workplaces, probably because current American culture is so screwed up and liberal and no one really is on the same page culturally. But my old boss hosted some random parties, like a sushi party, which were fun!


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## Fever Dream (Aug 18, 2015)

No, I don't. I suppose apart from family functions, I try to avoid most events. And family gatherings have become much fewer in the last few years, and I'm okay with that.


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

I find it so awkward. Especially if you haven't formed any real relationships at work. You stick out like a sore thumb. I went to a mini one and that triggered a lot of symptoms. Wanted to run out of there despite everyone being on the quiet side and being nice I might add. yet social anxiety makes you feel like you're forced to walk off a wooden plank on a ship.


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## Citrine79 (Dec 14, 2016)

My former boss at my old job basically forced/guilt tripped us into having and attending events no one wanted any part of both inside and outside of work. Working from home so not many events to attend…the few there are I want no part of. When we were in the office, didn’t bother with anything…especially all the annoying holiday stuff like Secret Santa.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

Just got an email from the HR director that we're having an work dinner party at the 9th of December. Fortunately it isn't too far. Apparently that email was sent out a few weeks ago by the HR deputy director (one who I long suspected dislikes me). But as usual, she omitted me from her usual mailing list. The HR director redistributed the email today. Probably something I should go to and maybe stop by for an hour at most.


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## RSxo (Apr 19, 2018)

Yes, I try and go to events and parties. I find it a good place for me to try and work on my social skills, but if nothing else, I can chill with close colleagues outside of a work environment and get to know them better


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## Mlt18 (Jun 29, 2016)

Nope. I almost went once but it got canceled because of weather. Now though I definitely wouldn’t go to any social workplace event because of the morale there and the fact that most of the people don’t like me or try to **** with me.


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## RTS06 (Dec 5, 2021)

Periodically. Not big into partying or anything like that. Sometimes it’s just good to be around others, practice and maintain social skills and also observe how others interact. Lots to learn during such events.


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## jiffle (Dec 13, 2021)

I avoid parties completely. There have been rare times in the past that I was coerced to go to work parties, but they were always very uncomfortable to attend.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

I have a work xmas dinner tomorrow early evening. It's suppose to be an outdoor sitting thing and it will be pretty cold. Hopefully most will leave within an hour due to this as I want to stay less than that. Hoping I will be home before 8p so I have time to take a walk and go to the gym. Haven't walk my dog in 2 days now due to non-stop downpour.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

We had our party at a restaurant today. I never intended on going but never actually voiced it to anybody, just marked "Maybe" a few days ago and then "No" yesterday on the calendar invite. You can use Covid concerns as an excuse, but I really don't care if any of them think it's that or something else. I have no desire to spend time with co-workers outside of work time - none - and I think most others are the same. Why keep up a charade of wanting to have a party with co-workers? The party I'm sure was better without me in it anyway; they wouldn't have wanted me around, and I wouldn't be surprised if some of them were relieved when I didn't show up.


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