# Opiates as self-medication



## psychgirl88 (Apr 24, 2011)

Didnt know where to post this. First let me clear up one thing: i am not in any way advocating the use of opiates in coping with SA. Just here to tell a story. 

I was addicted heavily to opiates for the last 2 years (specifically oxycontin). I have been clean for about 2 months now & although the physical dependence is gone, the mental is not. I still crave the high. There is just something about an opiate high that clicks so well with my brain chemistry. It's like it fills in every void & fixes every imbalance so perfectly..like two puzzle pieces. Its crazy how one pill can take away all of my anxiety and depression. When I'm high is the only time I feel like I can truly be myself. I'm happy, motivated, & carefree. It's better than any antidepressant or benzo I've taken. Honestly, if opiates weren't so bad for your health, addicting


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

That's why people like them so much I guess.


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## J Dynamo (May 3, 2011)

Ever get high on life?

You should try it.

What im getting at is go out and do things that make you happy.


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## psychgirl88 (Apr 24, 2011)

(oops cut myself off haha), & expensive, I would probably use them for the rest of my life. The reason I bring this up is because I've noticed that people I know personally & those I have talked to online in other forums who have been/are addicted to opiates always seem to have some degree of underlying anxiety, specifically social anxiety.

I'm wondering...is there a link between opiate use and SA? Is there something we are lacking in our brains that opiates compensate for? Why do people with SA have a higher tendency to like or get addicted to opiates? Has anyone on here had a similar experience?

Just curious. & sorry for the long post!!


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## psychgirl88 (Apr 24, 2011)

J Dynamo said:


> Ever get high on life?
> 
> You should try it.
> 
> What im getting at is go out and do things that make you happy.


Lol I try to but I have pretty severe depression as well so I don't get much enjoyment out of things. I also have no hobbies! I would like some but all the things I want to do involve talking to people or being in a group setting. Right now all I do is go to work & school. My life is pretty lame at the moment : (


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## Recipe For Disaster (Jun 8, 2010)

I wonder about a link too. I am not usually one to look for biochemical causes and yet when I take an opiate, I feel like it fills up the void in me that prevents me from wanting to be social. I use opiates about twice a week and have been for about 5 months now. It helps my desire to be a social a lot when I am on them but leaves me feeling depressed at how different I am when I am sober. It makes me feel almost like practice and other treatments _ aren't_ going to help me because it's a chemical thing and my natural brain state is simply not social.


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## J Dynamo (May 3, 2011)

Start a workout routine on the side? I mean instead of sitting around between school and work craving these opiates, find a healthy substitute. Working out and staying in shape is what helped me overcome my problem. I now feel like an active member of society and that I have a lot to offer the world and those around me. Truly a great feeling and I hope one day you will experience it. With determination you should have no problem, keep sluggin'!


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## Balloons (Mar 25, 2011)

I'm exactly the same.

This was the perfect fix for me too. I was using h/oxy/methadones for a couple years. I've been mostly sober for 7 months now (i'd use maybe 1ce month). I cant kick the mental addiction. I haven't been able to get anything lately and its horrible. 

The craving is always in the back of my head throughout the day, and nothing else can fill it (drinking/smoking/etc). =(


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## CrazyCatLady (Feb 8, 2011)

The reason the opiates work is because opium directly affects the pleasure receptors in the brain as well as other aspects. It causes pleasure and freedom from pain. The initial high is then followed by an extended period of relaxation.

Social Anxiety is like any other anxiety disorder and certain substances will relax you to an abnormal degree and while under the influence of these substances you will notice your symptoms decreasing or disappearing. 

It isn't really giving you something you are missing, it is flooding you with an abnormal amount of chemicals that make you feel good so you don't notice or have the symptoms of the other issue.

Opium withdraw can lead to severe anxiety and depression. After taking it for an extended period of time you will get used to the amount and need to increase it to achieve the same effect that smaller doses had been giving you.

It's not really something you could take for life. The increase in dosage over time can lead to really serious side effects. Coming down or attempting to quit can make your anxiety seriously worse than it already was.

While I've enjoyed a bit here and there in my life (during those lovely experimental years) I wouldn't recommend it as an actual way to medicate for this issue.


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## operagirl554 (May 3, 2011)

Same thing here..........opiates made me so happy, out-going, and at-ease. I stopped abusing them months ago, but it's been easier to stay stopped in recent days because I also lost easy access to them. If I had unlimited access again, I'd probably be screwed.


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## T-Bone (Oct 1, 2010)

that "getting high on life" stuff is a joke for a recovering opiate addict. i was a heroin addict for 5 years because i was also self medicating as well because it worked so great. it takes years and years (and im still not there) to get any interest in lifes activities back. it takes time but you think about that magic cure less and less wth each month/year. youll get back to your normal self. but dont give up on the benzos and anti's because thats your only legal options to make yourself confortable in situations. i hate it when peope think doing opiates or any ther drug for an SA sufferer is purely to get high. get educated people.


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## psychgirl88 (Apr 24, 2011)

J Dynamo said:


> Start a workout routine on the side? I mean instead of sitting around between school and work craving these opiates, find a healthy substitute. Working out and staying in shape is what helped me overcome my problem. I now feel like an active member of society and that I have a lot to offer the world and those around me. Truly a great feeling and I hope one day you will experience it. With determination you should have no problem, keep sluggin'!


Thanks for the advice!! I used to work out a lot & I loved it!! Once I quit smoking, ill take it up again.


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## psychgirl88 (Apr 24, 2011)

SomebodyWakeME said:


> i hate it when peope think doing opiates or any ther drug for an SA sufferer is purely to get high. get educated people.


Yeah I hate that too! I'm happy to hear that you are clean. How long has it been? I got clean after a year of using in november but went through a horrible depression afterwards where I could barely leave the house & had no interest in doing anything. Eventually, I relapsed because I couldn't take it anymore & ended up worse than I was before. I also replaced the oxy when I couldn't get it with a 3 month ecstasy binge & I think that really ****ed my brain up for life.

Ive been addicted to a lot of drugs but hardest thing to kick has been opiates! I don't use every day anymore but whenever I get stressed out or depressed the first thing I think about is getting high. How do you overcome that feeling?


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## Xeros (Oct 19, 2006)

I am currently addicted to opiates and know exactly what you mean. When I'm on them, none of my problems seem that bad. I'm finally able to stop worrying and just live, which has led to some great things happening.

I tried quitting recently, but the extreme depression that came along with the withdrawal was unbearable.


Other than the cost and the potential legal risk, I see nothing wrong with using opiates. I have yet to see any significant long term health risks associated with non injected opiates. The only reason I tried to quit and am still trying is the stigma that goes along with being an addict. It's not easy to get a girlfriend when you have to tell them that you're addicted to opiates.


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## wxolue (Nov 26, 2008)

If you think you've found the magic brain chemical problem in anxiety, think again. People with anxiety don't enjoy opiates more than a normal person per say, and they certainly aren't more likely to get addicted. The link between SA and opiate abuse (and for that matter, alcohol abuse, which is also common in people with anxiety) is in why people do it.

Someone without anxiety might try opium one time, and will absolutely LOVE IT. There's a chance he'll get addicted to it, but he understands the risks involved, weighs those risks against the fact that he only used it to have a little fun, and decides not to try it again.

Now someone with severe SA tries it, and discovers that not only does it feel AMAZING, but it allows them to operate in society. They consider the dangers of addiction just like the first guy, but not only does the opium feel great, it allows them to operate in society. It cures their social anxiety (temporarily). It isn't just a fun activity, but a solution to a chronic problem. They weigh addiction against a debilitating mental health issue. Often, the'll chose the addiction.

The person with SA decides to try it a couple more times. After that, the heroin has him in it's grip and he's addicted. The person without SA doesn't see a reason to try opium again (and potentially become addicted) except for having fun, so he doesn't, and doesn't become addicted.

The same thing goes for alcohol.


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## Bacon (Jul 4, 2010)

I Love Opiates! Iv had a love affair with opiates since i first tried them When i was doing Roxicodone 30 MG And Oxys and Other stronger Opiates Including Black Tar Heroin for a few months. It felt Great! I love opiates! Its a shame i dont have them prescribed and buying them from "Other Sources" Is damn expensive  I Miss Opiates the only thing in the world that made all my anxiety go away was black tar Heroin. Or Oxycodone. Basically the same thing. Except black tar is far cheaper and more potent but yikes! God knows what they cut in to that. Which is why i preffered Roxicodone when i could afford it. Iv stopped Opiate use now as it grew FAR to expensive and drained my bank account >.<. And man oh man did opiates make me itch like CRAZY. Opiate itch from from hell lol. But the itch is kinda an acquired tasted i guess you could say haha. Wait untill withdrawl hits you its terrible and the Post Opiate Depression that follows for months is INSANE its the worst depression ever.


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## DEFO (May 5, 2011)

So...what, is escapism considered a viable option for dealing with Social Anxiety now?


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## IsThereAComputerOption (Apr 15, 2011)

What a bad idea.


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## crayzyMed (Nov 2, 2006)

psychgirl88 said:


> I'm wondering...is there a link between opiate use and SA? Is there something we are lacking in our brains that opiates compensate for? Why do people with SA have a higher tendency to like or get addicted to opiates? Has anyone on here had a similar experience?
> 
> Just curious. & sorry for the long post!!


For some people absolutely, many neurotransmitters systems or brainarea's may not be working right due to some abnormality, drugs can correct this, amphetamine can reverse dopaminergic issues, GBL when used carefully has provided many people with relief, opiates can also make ppl feel normal, in my case nothing differend then stimulants can fix my sa, all the other drugs dont reduce it one bit.

When trying tolerance, allways order memantine or use DXM in low daily doses for tolerance and to reduce addiction.


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## bben (Oct 24, 2009)

DEFO said:


> So...what, is escapism considered a viable option for dealing with Social Anxiety now?


what do you think benzodiazepines are, or stimulants, or even ssris. All an equal escape. SSRI withdrawl is worse iMO then opiate because it lasts forever, ive WD from both many times.

SSRIS can cause permanent neurological issues like twitching, impotence, ect. There is also no proof they are more than marginally superior to placebo in clinical trials.


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## Recipe For Disaster (Jun 8, 2010)

DEFO said:


> So...what, is escapism considered a viable option for dealing with Social Anxiety now?


no and i don't think opiates are really a long term solution, just a temporary fix. however, if opiates allow you to be social then is that still considered escapism if it means you are out in the world interacting with people as opposed to home on the computer?

today i noticed how much more enjoyable it was talking to people on opiates. it makes me wonder, do i not enjoy talking to people because i have social anxiety or do i have social anxiety because i do not enjoy talking to people? opiates put me into a social mood, something which i realized id never really experienced before taking opiates.


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## Under17 (May 4, 2010)

**damnit, this turned into a wall of text, sorry guys**
The more I've been take them, the more my opinion on opiates changes, so I figure I'll chime in.

Tonight was probably the first night where I truly craved opiates.. but if I have to choose between a shotgun and oxy I'll go with the oxy.

If I want to remain miserable on opiates it's entirely possible (seeing as how I'd never do something like shoot up until I nod out), but I think they help make it easier to turn your mood around on your own. It requires will for me, it's not just an automatic change where I take the opiates and start feeling like superman, with no physical pain, anxiety, ocd or depression, and I know at least me and Dr House can attest to this haha. But unlike him I don't take opiates regularly, so I don't have the tolerance he has and they DO help me mentally somewhat... just not as much as I wished.

I was feeling really ****ty earlier tonight and now I'm just sort of normal I guess (and this is after a heroic combo of oxy, dilaudid, and klonopin and not baby doses either). Hopefully this will be the last night I have to depend on them, like I said I can still feel ****ty when I take them and they don't help much with my chronic pain either but when I try to think positive thoughts it seems like they take over much more easily and consciously trying to change my mood actually works, but without them I'd still be feeling ****ty and unable to change my mood on my own.

Obviously I'm "under their influence" now so I'm not sure how much of this is making sense (and I'm slapping at imaginary bugs, darn opiate itch). Last night however, I felt unusually amazing, I'm not sure how much can be contributed to opiates, but when I was lying down with my girlfriend last night I felt like the happiest I'd been in my whole entire life. And when I woke up... I just felt incredibly ****ty. I couldn't even bring myself to look at my girlfriend anymore. That really sucked. Makes me never want to take opiates again. I guess my story is just a classic example of the great dilemma of opiates. Occasionally, I do feel like the happiest man on earth when I'm with my girlfriend without being on opiates and I also wake up feeling fantastic, so I feel like I've really ****ed it all up.

I believe some people truly need opiates to help them in the short term, I don't think I am necessarily one of those people, but in any case it's quite clear the true change comes from within and people that need them shouldn't be discredited as taking the easy way out. Like the above poster said, they can really make it a lot of fun to talk to other people, but unlike alcohol they won't make you say mean or rude things (speaking from my own personal experience, haha).

I don't want this **** turning into my diary anymore than it has, but I'm fairly confident if I keep myself away from the type of stimuli that puts me into my depressive states, and work on building positive affirmations throughout the day and fight my inner demons I can make it out of this mess on my own. I want to start going to the gym and hiking, just be out in the wilderness and experience true silence and oneness. Just anything to get away from this crazy world for awhile.

It's been a pretty rough ride, obviously I'm no poster child for smart and effective use of opiates in treating depression, but I have no regrets and overall I think it's been worth it. Much love to all.


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## Stormride008 (Oct 20, 2011)

*yeah*

psychgirl, you and i are in the same boat. i couldn't really have described it better myself, with the exception that the expense is my only concern. as far as health concerns, opiates (oxycodone, hydrocodone, etc; heroin not included) don't seem to be any more dangerous than benzos, which is frustrating to me. doctors will prescribe benzos in a heartbeat, and i have seen people (eg. my own mother) ruin themselves with them. however, anyone i know (including myself) that self-medicates with opiates is completely healthy and functioning, just completely broke.

i don't know what to do personally. i want to stop, just to have money and have my life back; but i don't know whats more worth it. being broke, but feeling like what i can only percieve to be "normal", free at last from my otherwise ever present anxiety/social anxiety, or having money and never wanting to leave my house?


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## brown324 (Oct 1, 2011)

For all of you that have addiction issues with opiates or any other drug or alcohol....
I highly recommend you look into the proven results, of using baclofen ( a gabaB agonist) to treat addiction and anxiety. 

I am on day 6 of baclofen ( I have GAD and SA, and a history of amphetamine and opiate addiction) and I feel a lot better already. This treatment is relatively newer, and so it is not commonly practiced by most doctors. This is where you must find a creative way, or a good doctor, to get baclofen. You will need to titrate up to several hundred mg's a day for it to work properly. Do the research, the info is out there, gaba B agonism via baclofen has a very high rate of success in treating addiction and anxiety.

As far as addiction and anxiety being linked, absolutly 100% they are comorbid. Anxiety and addiction go together like 2 peas in a pod, and they feed off of eachother. 

The main thing anxiolytic drugs that work well do is create sedation, which you become tolerant to, then the drug no longer works. Baclofen is sedating at first, but the sedation goes away, thing is, the anxiolytic action remains. There are currently drugs being developed and in trials to be a new era of anxiety treatment. What is the mechanism of action behind them? Gaba B agonism. This is no coincidence, baclofen works to treat addiction and anxiety, the proof is out there.


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## jakeforpresident (Sep 27, 2009)

Basically opitates are the brain chemical that make us "okay" (like after sex, that awesome amazing "totally sweet" blissful feeling)...

The way i describe it, opiates are the ultimate "F it all" pill... they make you okay with sitting in a closet all day long


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## belfort (May 3, 2009)

brown1234-i agree to a point..anxiety doesnt just have 1 cause..for me, gabaB agonists like ghb(miracle drug for me) and phenibut work very well in allowing me to socialize and enjoy it...never tried baclofen but i assume its similar...before i ever tried drugs i never enjoyed socializing and never understood why, even when anxiety wasnt present..theres a good chunk of folks though that dont get much feeling at all from ghb or other gabaB agonists...

ive tried opiates and they did work very well at killing anxiety and lifting mood but the problem is addiction...once you are truly addicted those pro-social effects and mood lifting properties are almost completely gone..

amphetamines, even ephedrine work very well in making me social and able to enjoy it somewhat..problem is, the inevitable crash after the good effects wear off..

i believe if you have terrible social skills and are always trying to think of things to say, then u wont enjoy socializing..problem is, once u have social skills and still dont enjoy it, then i think a chemical component is involved..


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## DK3 (Sep 21, 2011)

psychgirl88 said:


> Didnt know where to post this. First let me clear up one thing: i am not in any way advocating the use of opiates in coping with SA. Just here to tell a story.
> 
> I was addicted heavily to opiates for the last 2 years (specifically oxycontin). I have been clean for about 2 months now & although the physical dependence is gone, the mental is not. I still crave the high. There is just something about an opiate high that clicks so well with my brain chemistry. It's like it fills in every void & fixes every imbalance so perfectly..like two puzzle pieces. Its crazy how one pill can take away all of my anxiety and depression. When I'm high is the only time I feel like I can truly be myself. I'm happy, motivated, & carefree. It's better than any antidepressant or benzo I've taken. Honestly, if opiates weren't so bad for your health, addicting


I know what you mean about craving it. I too became lets say, rather fond of opiates. Tramadol was my opiate of choice, I haven't tried anything else apart from Codeine and Opium.

Even though I haven't taken it for months I still crave the feeling. It's like something is missing and nothing else compares. That is the bad thing about opiates. It's like a delicious cake, you know it's bad for you to keep eating it all the time but once you have tasted it, you want it again and again. I can't even begin to imagine what heroin or morphine must be like for addiction. I wouldn't even risk going there if the lesser pills are anything to go by.


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## crayzyMed (Nov 2, 2006)

belfort said:


> brown1234-i agree to a point..anxiety doesnt just have 1 cause..for me, gabaB agonists like ghb(miracle drug for me) and phenibut work very well in allowing me to socialize and enjoy it...never tried baclofen but i assume its similar...before i ever tried drugs i never enjoyed socializing and never understood why, even when anxiety wasnt present..theres a good chunk of folks though that dont get much feeling at all from ghb or other gabaB agonists...
> 
> ive tried opiates and they did work very well at killing anxiety and lifting mood but the problem is addiction...once you are truly addicted those pro-social effects and mood lifting properties are almost completely gone..
> 
> ...


Thats interesting ephedrine works for you, you know my thread about prodromal shizo, do you happen to fit the criteria? just wondering as responding that well to ephedrine may indicate something (but offcourse isnt any evidence at all).


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## Himi Jendrix (Mar 24, 2010)

I love opiates. They make me feel more socially normal. Honestly though benzos help me more than opiates with anxiety. 

Right now I have the luxury of taking both  Which feels awesome by the way!!!


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## belfort (May 3, 2009)

cramed-i fit many criteria for schizoid pd...

oh and in no way is ssri withdrawal as bad as opiate withdrawal...not even close...you dont fiend for ssris, you arnt an absolute wreck of a human being for a week straight only to enter a much more prolonged but lesser state of anhedonia, insomnia, lethargy that can last for months or even years..


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## DK3 (Sep 21, 2011)

Just as a side note on this thread, anyone who is trying to get off opiates or wants something to fill gaps, should try Kratom. I've been using it successfully since coming off opiates and it does feel very similar to tramadol and codeine. Obviously you can get tolerance and addiction just the same as with real opiates but I don't think it's as bad and being a plant product rather than a drug its not so hard on the body, plus it's readily available online. I only take 1g and get the equivalent of maybe 50mg tramadol or 70mg codeine. I don't tend to crave Kratom and can take it with long breaks. At higher does (6g) it's like a full-on opiate high.


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## crayzyMed (Nov 2, 2006)

belfort said:


> cramed-i fit many criteria for schizoid pd...


That explains why you like gabab agonists and ephedrine


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## Helper (Nov 2, 2011)

Yeah opiates are so helpful with anxiety. They make you feel like everything is okay.

Kratom is a nice alternative though.


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## barry1685 (May 25, 2011)

Helper said:


> Yeah opiates are so helpful with anxiety. They make you feel like everything is okay.
> 
> Kratom is a nice alternative though.


I never was phased by kratom, I even bought the expensive 100$ extracted kratom that did nothing.


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## DK3 (Sep 21, 2011)

barry1685 said:


> I never was phased by kratom, I even bought the expensive 100$ extracted kratom that did nothing.


Interesting. Did you only try it from one vendor or multiple? I've found the effects can vary a lot from vendor to vendor, and also depending on strain of Kratom and source (they are several each with different effects). Do you have a high tolerance for opiates?

Once you find a good vendor that uses a reliable strain and source, its best to stick with them. I find the "extracts" are very much overrated and hyped with many vendors and just a way of make more money. What you need is a good quality premium powdered leaf which is fresh and potent.

I get the effects from as little as 1.5g (which I take in 3 capsules) it's very very similar to 50mg Tramadol or 70mg Codeine. Hard to tell the difference, except it feels a bit cleaner and easier on the liver. I feel very stimulated on the strain I usually buy, the change is quite dramatic if I'm experiencing extreme lethargy and low mood..suddenly I feel "switched on" and can do get up and do housework. Tolerance does build up rapidly though just like with any opiate drug if you start using daily. I find taking a week or two off between taking it, reset the tolerance.


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## Nogy (Feb 13, 2011)

I have a love/hate relationship with opiates. They are the best temporary cure that i've ever had, but they definately won't work long term (unless you had an endless supply, but thats not realistic). Honestly though i wish that i'd never tasted an opiate before...everything else in life just seems so dull now unless im high.


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## DK3 (Sep 21, 2011)

Nogy said:


> I have a love/hate relationship with opiates. They are the best temporary cure that i've ever had, but they definately won't work long term (unless you had an endless supply, but thats not realistic). Honestly though i wish that i'd never tasted an opiate before...everything else in life just seems so dull now unless im high.


I know what you mean there. It's a bit like a pandoras box.


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