# Do you think a therapist would be worth it?



## tednugent2007 (Oct 28, 2007)

I went to a therapist when I first started high school and it really didn't seem to help. I might be mistaken, but it seemed like the meds helped more than the therapist himself. He was a nice guy, but he never offered any advice that I really used in the 3 years I went to him. Well, I just recently got back on meds and I'm feeling a bit better, but my life is a mess. I don't know where to start. I'm 26, I have no idea what I want to do for a career, I have no friends to lean on for support, and I feel real lost. I don't have any insurance, so I'm not thrilled about paying 100 bucks for therapy, but maybe that's something I need to do. What do you guys think? How does your therapist help you? Is it worth it?


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

If you are wanting to save money, why not read some of the books talked about here first. And then maybe go and talk to a therapist about what you've read. Reinventing Your Life is excellent, Schemas. Any of the Eckhart Tolle's books are great, but very deep. But his books enabled me to sleep w/o drugs and be somewhat stable w/o ADs. Other books are mentioned here, so that's my suggestion.


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## tednugent2007 (Oct 28, 2007)

Ok, thanks, I will check out Reinventing Your Life.


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## IllusionOfHappiness (Sep 6, 2007)

Yeah, I guess you just have to find the right person. I have my first session this Wednesday, and am really hoping I can be open & honest enough (I wasn't with the last one). 

At least I'm not wasting any money this time, since it's free.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

I'd agree that there's likely a huuuuge difference between seeing a therapist you like and one you don't like. Also, their helpfulness could vary, even if you like two different therapists. I've only had a couple sessions so far with one therapist, but I've actually liked the experience so far, even though I've felt uncomfortable on many occasions opening up. It's helpful to see that I won't be shamed/attacked for doing that though, so I'm trying to keep doing it more and more. One of my problems is that I have always had trouble expressing emotion, so I think the experience of actually _doing_ this (I've let the therapist know that's something I want to work on) will really help me far more than just thinking about it.

It may depend on what you specifically want to improve too. Is the job issue the main thing on your mind right now?

I can relate to not knowing what sort of career would be ultimately most rewarding for me. I am employed now, but I can't imagine doing this forever. I don't know anyone in my city, but I have a friend I call to talk to at least once a week.

I can see how it would be an extra difficult decision if you don't have insurance.

Meds won't likely help you figure out what sort of career is best for you, but maybe a career counselor could. Or maybe a therapist could help with that too. That's something I want to work on, because I think it would make everything else in my life a bit easier if I didn't have as much work anxiety bringing me down.

Oh, and to IllusionsOfHappiness, will you post your experience here in this Therapy section after your session? I like to hear how other people's experiences are going, particularly since I'm very new to the actual experience.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Dont forget there are many, many TYPES of therapy. Just because you have seen a therapist, doesnt mean you have experienced all therapy has to offer. Some VERY different therapies

CBT (and the subdivisions of it)
DBT
ACT
Psychodynamic
Person Centred (Rogerian)
TFT
Schema
Eclectic (bits of different ones - some may use "CBT Light" IMO not a good idea)
EFT

For SA symptoms, I always say that CBT is the best way to go. The approach based on Clark and Wells work is considered the most effective, and is distilled into a self help guide in the form of Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness by Gillian Butler. That book qorks DIRECTLY on SA symptoms (the panic, anxiety, blank mind, phasing out and so on) whereas the Reinventing you Life book works on personality related issues that may underlie both your SA and other related difficulties.

Similarly seeing a therapist who works in one of the above fields will be TOTALLY different than working in another.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

IllusionOfHappiness said:


> Yeah, I guess you just have to find the right person. I have my first session this Wednesday, and am really hoping I can be open & honest enough (I wasn't with the last one).
> 
> At least I'm not wasting any money this time, since it's free.


Whee! Hope it goes well.

BIG HUGS :squeeze :hug :kiss


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## ~AJ~ (Jan 23, 2008)

i wouldnt pay that much for it


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## tednugent2007 (Oct 28, 2007)

What kind of a therapist would be best for rebuilding my confidence up to a semi normal level? I've been shy all my life and I think all those years not interacting with people totally destroyed my confidence dealing with people. It's so bad I can't even confidently look into someone's eyes with feeling anxiety.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Sometimes you just have to try out different therapists, tednugent2007. Are you familiar with some of the different schools of therapy (yeah_yeah_yeah mentioned some above)? Even within one type, therapists can vary widely. It might just take some trial and error (and patience for the first several sessions to avoid making prejudgements). There's a lot of variety out there.


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## IllusionOfHappiness (Sep 6, 2007)

Ardrum - yes, I will most likely post my experience.
Ross - thanks


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Ted - Mindfulness based CBT or CBT for SA / self esteem would, IMO, be the best start. You may like to try two books to introduce yourself to how it works and apply it for yourself, before looking into a therapist:

Feeling good, The New Mood Therapy - David Burns
Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness - Gillian Butler

CBT will work the most rapidly to soothe your main symptoms. If you work with a therapist, then this is much better, but for the GOOD ones, unfortunately - YES - you have to pay more. Its just the ay things are. The economy of scale works like this:

Bad therapist = cheap
Bad therapist = takes longer = more sessions = $

Good therapist = expensive
Good therapist = more experience = more likely to get to the root of things quicker = less sessions = probably about same $

The cheaper ones unfortunately will not have the backgorund and experience of the more expensive ones. Believe me when I say this - there is a CHASM of difference between good and bad therapists. Sad, but true. You get what you pay for, and when you are taking about lifelong happiness and your mental health, do you really want to scrimp so you can afford that plasma screen (piping all those images of good looking men with their hands all over scanty clad women that just get you even more het up?)

Damn. Im meant to be on holiday.

IM A COMPULSIVE HELPER

HELP MEEEEEE


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## IllusionOfHappiness (Sep 6, 2007)

yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> IM A COMPULSIVE HELPER
> 
> HELP MEEEEEE


I hereby BAN you for posting while on holiday.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

True


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## Adrift (May 6, 2008)

Yeah, I've been thinking about a therapist as well. But what I need is one who will give me proper guidance and some concrete steps to take, and support, rather than just waffle.
Although I'm not sure therapists are the best ones for advice, they usually just throw the questions back at you "what do you think?"
I tried therapy once before, but it had no real focus and didn't really accomplish much.
I guess it also helps to have the right sort of therapist, since naturally some are more specialised in dealing with certain types of problems than others. 
But its hard to make clear what you want and need if you are not very assertive.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Adrift said:


> Yeah, I've been thinking about a therapist as well. But what I need is one who will give me proper guidance and some concrete steps to take, and support, rather than just waffle.
> Although I'm not sure therapists are the best ones for advice, they usually just throw the questions back at you "what do you think?"
> I tried therapy once before, but it had no real focus and didn't really accomplish much.
> I guess it also helps to have the right sort of therapist, since naturally some are more specialised in dealing with certain types of problems than others.
> But its hard to make clear what you want and need if you are not very assertive.


Try looking specifically for a CBT therapist if you want concrete assignments/steps.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

^^^^^ Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes


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