# Extreme Phone Anxiety



## Allenoir (Dec 17, 2014)

My phone anxiety can be called extreme at the least. I don't answer the phone unless I know who it is. I won't leave messages. If I have to call anyone I sit with the phone in my hand for hours....sometimes multiple days of putting it off. I write down everything I need to say because as soon as the phone starts ringing everything leaves my head and I panic. 

Anyway. My victories in this field include a successful phone interview in which I got called in for a second interview. Another time I talked with a volunteer coordinator for a place I started volunteering for. 

These victories may seem small but the message is clear. My fear of talking on the phone is irrational. Every time that I just push send everything turns out ok. Everyone sounds stupid at some point in their life. It doesn't matter if you fumble your words or stutter. The best part is that when you hang up you have accomplished your goal. It wasn't so bad and you feel so proud of yourself.


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## P1e2 (Jan 18, 2014)

That is great you were able to do a phone interview despite your anxiety. Sometimes it can make me somewhat anxious if people are sitting near me and listen to me on the phone. I've done phone interviews and yes was nervous and dressed up to just feel better about myself and hoped that it came through to the interviewer. I'm slightly less nervous in a phone interview than in person, but it can depend on the interviewer, etc.


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## Gus954 (Jul 25, 2013)

i have extreme phone anxiety too even worse than yours i bet. I can only call family members and if i have to set up a dentist appointment or anything like that my mom does it for me and talks for me when we get there to the people in the front desk


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## New Dissonance (Dec 13, 2014)

Excellent job! "Small" successes are the best kind, because they lead to bigger ones!!! You should be very proud. This may help you: From now on, focus on thinking about all of the times that you've successfully completed phone calls, focus on how you felt AFTER those phone calls, and focus on how you want the phone calls to go, not how you don't want them to go. Keep going!


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## Venom Boss (Dec 4, 2014)

I'm so glad that texting is a social norm, otherwise I would be screwed beyond comprehension. Reason being is that I stutter a lot more over the phone than I do when I'm talking to someone in person, it's so frustrating I can't figure out why I'm like this.:mum


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## blanddan0 (Sep 17, 2014)

I have horrible telephone anxiety too. Especially if I'm on the move, and I can't prepare for the conversation properly. Usually if I answer an unknown caller or number I sound really off, and I can feel their reaction to the way I answer. I try to change my tone when answering for people I know


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## Wren611 (Oct 19, 2012)

Allenoir said:


> My phone anxiety can be called extreme at the least. I don't answer the phone unless I know who it is. I won't leave messages. If I have to call anyone I sit with the phone in my hand for hours....sometimes multiple days of putting it off. I write down everything I need to say because as soon as the phone starts ringing everything leaves my head and I panic.
> 
> Anyway. My victories in this field include a successful phone interview in which I got called in for a second interview. Another time I talked with a volunteer coordinator for a place I started volunteering for.
> 
> These victories may seem small but the message is clear. My fear of talking on the phone is irrational. Every time that I just push send everything turns out ok. Everyone sounds stupid at some point in their life. It doesn't matter if you fumble your words or stutter. The best part is that when you hang up you have accomplished your goal. It wasn't so bad and you feel so proud of yourself.


I have phone anxiety too, to the point I can only call my mum's house, my mum's mobile, her partner's mobile, my nan's house, my dad's mobile and one of my brothers' mobile. My mum has to make other phone calls for me, although I did call somewhere about my laptop having issues the other month. I also can't talk on the phone properly, and jumble my words that I have to get my mum to talk after a few seconds of trying myself.

I also don't answer the phone unless I know my mum is calling me back, and if my brother or dad answer and say it's for me, I panic and ask them who it is first. Anyone other than my mum, I won't take the call.

Totally get where you're coming from, but I have my mum to help me in that respect, although I don't know how I'd cope without her.


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## Allenoir (Dec 17, 2014)

Thanks for all your words and personal experiences. My phone anxiety is something that I actually have hope that I will overcome some day.


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## Fairykins (Nov 5, 2014)

I'm the exact same. I hate phones, answering or calling someone - I just try to avoid phones as much as I can. I much prefer texting or email and try to tell people to do this over calling me.

It's great you were able to have an interview on a phone! Also good you've been trying to get over the fear  keep it up.


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## Anjelliex (Dec 7, 2014)

Wow! Well done you! I envy you so much ;w; Always take baby steps!

I can ONLY answer the phone to my mum. No one else. D: 
The ringing creeps me out (Mainly when I'm home alone) and I start to tremble (changing the ringtone doesn't make a difference xD).. I have to muffle the noise by suffocating it with a pillow so I can't hear it... And then for the rest of the day I'm really really edgy, constantly looking outside in fear that the caller I ignored is coming to hunt me down xD Sounds so silly but I can't help it  

My hypnotherapist gave me a little tip. She said ring somebody you know well but can't usually phone up, say hi and then hang up. (maybe let them know before you ring so they're not confused xD) Everytime you can do that with confidence, maybe next time say something more like "Hi, how are you?".. I haven't tried this myself yet but it sounds quite fun


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## gamerkid72 (Aug 20, 2014)

I rarely answer phone calls. Good for you.


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## Cascades (Jan 16, 2013)

Yes I'm exactly the same. I'll put a phone call off for as long as possible and when it comes to making the phone call, I'll write it all down, rehearse it all while making myself feel even more sick with dread .. it takes hours for me to make a simple phone call sometimes. I'd actually rather talk face to face with someone _sometimes_ than make a phone call.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Allenoir said:


> My phone anxiety can be called extreme at the least. I don't answer the phone unless I know who it is. I won't leave messages. If I have to call anyone I sit with the phone in my hand for hours....sometimes multiple days of putting it off. I write down everything I need to say because as soon as the phone starts ringing everything leaves my head and I panic.
> 
> Anyway. My victories in this field include a successful phone interview in which I got called in for a second interview. Another time I talked with a volunteer coordinator for a place I started volunteering for.
> 
> These victories may seem small but the message is clear. My fear of talking on the phone is irrational. Every time that I just push send everything turns out ok. Everyone sounds stupid at some point in their life. It doesn't matter if you fumble your words or stutter. The best part is that when you hang up you have accomplished your goal. It wasn't so bad and you feel so proud of yourself.


They're not small - don't minimize.
Build on this! Remember the success and build on to bigger things!
Well done! :boogie :boogie :boogie


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## seahawk665 (May 16, 2014)

A victory is a victory....no matter how small!!! Don't trivialize your success. You've done well


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## nomoreants (Mar 31, 2012)

same here


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## arao6 (Jul 12, 2013)

Congrats! The rest is smooth(er) sailing.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

It gets me too.


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## craig88 (Dec 25, 2014)

good work, i tend to have more issues leaving messages then actually talking, but even then i can be abit awkward sometimes, even with friends


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## harry26 (Dec 4, 2014)

The phone radiation very harmful for your health and beware of these radiation.


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## Mikko (Jan 21, 2014)

I'm the type of person who doesn't like to make a call. I only call my mom or my dad. If someone calls me and I don't know whose number it is, I would not answer it. Also, everytime I want to order food via telephone, I asked my mom to do that. I don't know if this is also called phone anxiety.


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## OrangeArmy (Dec 30, 2014)

Good job, this is a small but huge victory. I applied to a Call Center job and I suffer from Phone Anxiety as well, hopefully the "School of Hard Knocks" approach works for me.


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## Gus954 (Jul 25, 2013)

Yeah i sound like a ***** on the phone thats why i hate talking on the phone


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## gumball (Dec 4, 2014)

one of my resolutions is to get over this fear, i hate burdening my mom to do everything for me, like make appointments and such. its great you are taking the small steps to success


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## Penny46 (Dec 16, 2014)

I'm with you, Gumball! I am DETERMINED to get over this crazy fear this year! I'm going to work on myself slowly..but I intend to conquer it before 2015 runs out!

The only way to get over it is to bite the bullet and DO IT!!!!!!!!! To keep on avoiding the phone just makes it get worse and worse.


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

I found it helpful to "practice" conversations . Hold the phone up as if you were talking to someone and then just pretend. It helped me get over my "phone-bia". You can practice answering questions, give your opinion on topics/ask opinions and practice "listening". That said, there is no law saying you have to answer your phone. Its a tool not a handcuff.


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## 8888 (Oct 16, 2014)

Good for you, you should be very proud! I have phone anxiety too. I wanted this summer job but they wanted to do a phone interview. So I emailed them to thank them and said I already found a job (when in fact I hadn't). I hope in the future to be able to do phone interviews.


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## Zyriel (May 20, 2011)

Yup, I hate it too and avoid it whenever possible. Mostly because people can't understand what I'm saying since I guess I talk low. Hate repeating myself ~_~ Especially on cell phones too, the voice quality is so bad, makes me sound like a robot underwater I think, can hear the feedback from it lol.

Plus I often don't know what to say, besides like "Hello?", "Yeah", "Anything else?", "That it?", "Good" or some type of gratitude. Well at least with people I don't know, people I do, they know what I'm like lol.


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## Allenoir (Dec 17, 2014)

Hey all. Thanks again for the encouraging words or personal experiences. I got a call about a job interview. I didn't hear my phone so they left a message. This would normally terrify me and I would take up to 3 hours to call back after rehearsing what I would say. It only took me 5 mins!!!! This is amazing! I was so proud of myself. For once instead of thinking about every detail I just hit the call back button. It went well


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## alterrain (May 29, 2014)

Very well done. Know the phone anxiety feelings well, so understand completely how you feel. I've been this way most of my life. Can only answer if I know it's a family member. A bit better in the last few years, but still not good. My mum still has to make calls for me most of the time. I'm middle aged now, and still won't use the phone, unless I really absolutely have to.


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## star14 (Jan 19, 2015)

I have phone anxiety too. A lot of times I simply will not answer my phone and I can't listen to messages people have left on my phone. I feel really guilty for ignoring calls and I'm sure I just come across as rude. But I just can't do it unless I'm in a perfect frame of mind. 
I hope I can get over this someday too!


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## slubberdegullion (Aug 22, 2011)

That was quite the same with me. And last month I found a job -speaking on the phone with English speaker customers (English is not my mother tongue). The first day of my job was utterly TERRIBLE. I felt nauseous, a horrible headache clamped my brain in a vise, my face was burning and I couldn't look at any kind of light source. My biggest fear was what if I could not understand what they said -their accents are nearly incomprehensible, and many times I couldn't. Once I asked a customer a question which he already answered and I felt like my face was set on fire. Bit by bit, I am getting used to my job, and learning how to do business also. I can definitely say that, however bad one may feel at the beginning, the anxiety level drops dramatically after some practice. One just has to face with this fear.

One strategy I found very effective is to think ''What would happen in the worst case?'' My answer to myself is ''to be fired.'' and I don't think that is the end of the world. This really helped me take things easier.

Note: I still feel my stomach burning when my mobile phone rings, but I hope I will overcome this, too.


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