# Anyone else living a life of total isolation?



## nikkei (Sep 26, 2013)

Anyone else go day-to-day with literally nobody to talk to? The only people I have spoken to in the past 4 weeks are shop attendants, uni lecturers and people at the doctor's office.

I live a life of self-imposed total isolation and hardly even notice. I am 23, studying at uni and living alone. I change my phone number regularly so that no one I know can get a hold of me. Nobody knows where I live, what I'm studying at uni, or what I'm up to. I deleted facebook. I don't speak to anyone in my family because I decided they were pretty toxic.

I love my friends, but I feel kind of accomplished at to having spoken to any of them for months, because it means I haven't done anything wrong and have left things on a "good note". I would be so upset if I were to bump into any of them because it would feel like I had ruined all of my hard work isolating myself.

I got braces 4 weeks ago (kind of weird at 23) and not a single person has commented on them.

The weird thing is I hardly notice that there's nobody in my life. It's like it's totally normal. I'm totally okay with having no friends, family or confidantes and that kind of scares me because it makes me think that my struggle with social anxiety is over... I'm out of the game and and not even trying anymore.


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

I was about to post that yes I'm in the same position but that isn't the case, I'm not as isolated as you, I still have facebook and the same number ('m in Uni too, first few weeks) but neither of my friends back home ever call me or speak to me on facebook and neither does anyone in my family.

My three flatmates I have nothing in common with and the only time I ever talk to them is if we both happen to be cooking something at the same time or just saying 'hi' if we bump into each other somewhere. I haven't made friends in any of my classes as I haven't had the chance, it's a very big university and everything is doen very mechanically, there isn't really any 'human' element to the whoel expiriance so far. My tutors even told us at the start of the course that we can't email them, because they won't be able to reply for all the emails they get. We have to go through our student reps to ask them anything. I've forgotten who are student reps even are 

Even though I'm in a big city always surrounded by crowds I feel more alone than I ever did living in a small town, its so weird. Everyone said university was going to be really social, this is exactly what it was like at the start of high school when I had no friends, but not as bad as I'm not bullied lol. At least I get a lot of free time and space, I can't complain about that. But once in a while it'd be nice to have a conversation with someone.

Sorry for hijacking you're thread with a massive rant.


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## derpresion (May 17, 2012)

wow you can really have braces at that age? will they work?

anyways yea im dawdling mostly at home those days too, cant say im totally isolated tho


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

I've been in the isolation chamber since middle school. College was pretty miserable considering I could do nothing more than retreat to my room every night. Man I don't know what to do. I don't want to admit that it's over but it sure feels like it is. I'm not even capable of talking to people online.


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## nikkei (Sep 26, 2013)

Droidsteel said:


> I was about to post that yes I'm in the same position but that isn't the case, I'm not as isolated as you, I still have facebook and the same number ('m in Uni too, first few weeks) but neither of my friends back home ever call me or speak to me on facebook and neither does anyone in my family.
> 
> My three flatmates I have nothing in common with and the only time I ever talk to them is if we both happen to be cooking something at the same time or just saying 'hi' if we bump into each other somewhere. I haven't made friends in any of my classes as I haven't had the chance, it's a very big university and everything is doen very mechanically, there isn't really any 'human' element to the whoel expiriance so far. My tutors even told us at the start of the course that we can't email them, because they won't be able to reply for all the emails they get. We have to go through our student reps to ask them anything. I've forgotten who are student reps even are
> 
> ...


That really sucks that your university doesn't really help people get together and meet people. Going to a big uni could take the edge off social anxiety a little bit, because you're kind of anonymous? And then leave you free to seek out people on your own... Sounds like you really want to meet people which is great! You're still in the game :clap

Ha yeah I have free time and space coming out of my ears too..


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## Alienated (Apr 17, 2013)

I have lived in total isolation for 7 years, all my family is dead, no relative, no one will even have a cup of coffee with me. I am retired, and no body would know if I died till the rent was over due. And no one to even bury me in my family plot, or even write a eulogy. On one as a heir, of even to call. I go months with out ever hearing a another live human voice.

I don't even talk to anyone at the store, they have self scanners. And I pay my internet bill at a machine. And what I write here, will be the only evidence that I ever existed.... I only have a few years left to live, and nobody on Earth could care less.

Feel Better ?


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## Grog (Sep 13, 2013)

Alienated said:


> I have lived in total isolation for 7 years, all my family is dead, no relative, no one will even have a cup of coffee with me. I am retired, and no body would know if I died till the rent was over due. And no one to even bury me in my family plot, or even write a eulogy. On one as a heir, of even to call. I go months with out ever hearing a another live human voice.
> 
> I don't even talk to anyone at the store, they have self scanners. And I pay my internet bill at a machine. And what I write here, will be the only evidence that I ever existed.... I only have a few years left to live, and nobody on Earth could care less.
> 
> Feel Better ?


This is pretty much the same for me and it is hard you can pm me any time 
My story
I work alone get jobs via email 
I live alone eat alone etc etc 
I have no friends or acquaintances offline and online 
I have no family and no children and won't be either 
I go weeks at a time without even saying one word except sometimes say something out loud to see if my voice still works 
No interaction of any kind 
The worst thing is it wasn't always this way so I have experienced the other side and miss it 
Some times I think I may be dead and I just don't actually know it 
I have no idea what to do to change the situation sorry I'm no help 
This computer is new in an attempt to have some form of contact


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## myersljennifer (Sep 6, 2013)

nikkei said:


> Anyone else go day-to-day with literally nobody to talk to? The only people I have spoken to in the past 4 weeks are shop attendants, uni lecturers and people at the doctor's office.


Yep. 100%. I have to speak to my boss and coworkers though..it sucks. But as for friends, relationships, etc, nope, no family to talk to either.



> I live a life of self-imposed total isolation and hardly even notice. I am 23, studying at uni and living alone. I change my phone number regularly so that no one I know can get a hold of me. Nobody knows where I live, what I'm studying at uni, or what I'm up to. I deleted facebook. I don't speak to anyone in my family because I decided they were pretty toxic.


I don't think about it much anymore either. (I've changed my number a few times throughout the years....lol, but now I can't unless I change my plan so). Also deleted Facebook 2 years ago. (Family also toxic..sheesh, similarities)



> I love my friends, but I feel kind of accomplished at to having spoken to any of them for months, because it means I haven't done anything wrong and have left things on a "good note". I would be so upset if I were to bump into any of them because it would feel like I had ruined all of my hard work isolating myself.
> 
> I got braces 4 weeks ago (kind of weird at 23) and not a single person has commented on them.


Not sure about the final part....you feel accomplished to have avoided friends or to have not messed things up with them?

The weird thing is I hardly notice that there's nobody in my life. It's like it's totally normal. I'm totally okay with having no friends, family or confidantes and that kind of scares me because it makes me think that my struggle with social anxiety is over... I'm out of the game and and not even trying anymore.[/QUOTE]


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## Grog (Sep 13, 2013)

nikkei said:


> Anyone else go day-to-day with literally nobody to talk to? The only people I have spoken to in the past 4 weeks are shop attendants, uni lecturers and people at the doctor's office.
> 
> I live a life of self-imposed total isolation and hardly even notice. I am 23, studying at uni and living alone. I change my phone number regularly so that no one I know can get a hold of me. Nobody knows where I live, what I'm studying at uni, or what I'm up to. I deleted facebook. I don't speak to anyone in my family because I decided they were pretty toxic.
> 
> ...


You are doing this to your self please snap out of it befor it's to late and you become like me try find that balance between your friends and your own space 
The longer you leave it the harder it gets


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

derpresion said:


> wow you can really have braces at that age? will they work?
> 
> anyways yea im dawdling mostly at home those days too, cant say im totally isolated tho


I used to know someone who had to have braces when they were 25 lol.



nikkei said:


> That really sucks that your university doesn't really help people get together and meet people. Going to a big uni could take the edge off social anxiety a little bit, because you're kind of anonymous? And then leave you free to seek out people on your own... Sounds like you really want to meet people which is great! You're still in the game :clap
> 
> Ha yeah I have free time and space coming out of my ears too..


It was totally different at college everyone was pretty much guaranteed a friendship group because before starting lessons we had two weeks of enforced socialising lol. I always had someone to talk to there so I just assumed I'd got over the problem small children usually have of being stuck with no one to talk to. Obviously not. And what especially sucks is that my social skills aren't particularly bad, in fact I'd say they were above average, it's just here I either don't fit in with anyone or haven't been able to talk to them.



Alienated said:


> I have lived in total isolation for 7 years, all my family is dead, no relative, no one will even have a cup of coffee with me. I am retired, and no body would know if I died till the rent was over due. And no one to even bury me in my family plot, or even write a eulogy. On one as a heir, of even to call. I go months with out ever hearing a another live human voice.
> 
> I don't even talk to anyone at the store, they have self scanners. And I pay my internet bill at a machine. And what I write here, will be the only evidence that I ever existed.... I only have a few years left to live, and nobody on Earth could care less.
> 
> Feel Better ?


I would have a cup of coffee with you, I love coffee 

Do you really only have a few years left to live? :|


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## alienbird (Apr 9, 2010)

I live a life of almost complete isolation. I rarely leave my house. I still live with my parents, but I don't speak to my family that often... and when we do speak, the conversations are usually brief and we discuss trivial things. I haven't had any friends in six years. I don't talk to anyone when I go out (which is almost always with a family member). I actually talk to myself often, because there is no one else to share my thoughts with. I'm not okay with having no one though, as the loneliness is a nonstop pain. When strangers try talking to me, my anxiety is sky-high and I can't say much back, but it makes me feel like I matter for a moment because someone has noticed my existence. The rest of the time, I feel rather... dead inside... like I'm not even a real, living person. Isolation has really messed me up.


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## geographyguy (Sep 23, 2013)

I also live that life - self imposed. HOWEVER, it's good you realize this, because you can take steps to stop it. 

That means getting off the internet. I know it's hard, but it's the only way. I spent much of the day yesterday away from the internet, I didn't check gmail every 5 seconds and didn't go on FB. I got up, showered, and got out of the house. I went to the bank. I went out to buy a few groceries. I went back out again. And you know what? I ran into a neighbor, because I was being out and about so much - and we chatted for about 30 minutes outside, her dog was there, it was a great convo. 

When I realize I'm getting into total isolation mode, I hung a calendar on my wall. I forced myself to write down, every day, where I went and what I did, on that calendar. It's right in my kitchen so I can see it and have to look at it. Every day, I have to have something written on there - otherwise I put a big "X" which means "no contact with the outside world". The more I did that, the more stuff I had - pretty soon I didn't even need to use that calendar anymore. 

You have to start with little steps. You can't just expect to go to a party tonight and be Mr. Popular and for everything to change overnight. You probably wouldn't go even if you were invited. Start with small things, and realize that they are NOT that small. 

This takes time. Work on it. Step by step, you will be able to manage your condition. Good luck.


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## mancity4life (Sep 27, 2013)

my lac of friends led me to becoming obsessed with soccer and wanting to be an MMA fighter. Its the only thing I look forward to on weekends. I get rejected by girls, I cant make friends, I was bullied in high school, I'm getting jaw surgery soon... Its all left me feeling hopeless. Though watching MMA and soccer gives me joy on weekends, I really want to be able to make friends and go out and stuff. I'm in my twenties and I do not want to be like this forever.


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