# Being treated like a child



## JupiterStarr

Do you find that others treat you like a child or as if you're stupid? Even worse, do you have a hard time defending yourself when others do this? Some people on my job really disrespect me. I've been cursed at and bossed around, but I sometimes think I deserve it. 

I'm very quiet and I do think this comes across to others as acting stupid. I often feel quite intimidated by some of my co workers; I'm afraid of doing something stupid/weird and getting laughed at or worse, yelled at.


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## pudz

Yes, i really think being quiet will make adults match you to being a child, so they treat you one. But if it's someone my own age, no. 

From experience, this is true. When I was quiet, I was treated like a little child. Now that I'm a lot more socially confidence, I'm treated more of a responsible adult.
They don't even talk to me in baby speak now. How awesome? lol


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## JupiterStarr

anymouse said:


> i personally love it. gives me the same feeling as when someone braids my hair or tells me what to do. :stu being the youngest of five, i crave that. could be why i am 36 on a board of people who are well... not 36. :stu


So you like being yelled at and bossed around like a child? I want to change this but sometimes I hate myself so much that I feel as if deserve to be mistreated. I feel as if everything is my fault.


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## Colton

I was at the dentist a few weeks ago and my lady dentist kept calling me "sweetie" and being nice to me. I had to stand in front of this weird machine while a helmet thing circled my head and x-rayed my teeth. After it was done, she told me I did a "good job" standing there. Like I was a child or something. Then she said "has anyone ever told you you have nice teeth?"

I don't know if she's overly nice to everyone or if she thought I was a dummy. I didn't say more than 8 words during the entire appointment, so she probably thought I was midly retarded. But for all I know, she could be really shy too and she was just nervous. I don't know... but I do know how it feels to have people talk to you like you're a dummy.

EDIT: Most people do not yell at me or curse at me, though. Children shouldn't be treated like that and women should definitely not be treated like that. You don't have to put up with that abuse!


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## JupiterStarr

In social settings I'm so fixated on trying not to upset others. It's tiring, and sometimes I want nothing more than to lock myself inside of my house for the rest of my life and hide.


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## Kon

JupiterStarr said:


> Do you find that others treat you like a child or as if you're stupid? Even worse, do you have a hard time defending yourself when others do this? Some people on my job really disrespect me. I've been cursed at and bossed around, but I sometimes think I deserve it.
> 
> I'm very quiet and I do think this comes across to others as acting stupid. I often feel quite intimidated by some of my co workers; I'm afraid of doing something stupid/weird and getting laughed at or worse, yelled at.


Very much. I'm intensely afraid of messing up and getting yelled at. Laughed at, wouldn't bother me. I think my fear comes from messing up and getting yelled at since I was little kid. I was slower at picking up stuff at work compared to others and I was very absent-minded/forgetful. I was yelled at by quite a few employers/my parents. When I got yelled at, that would make me screw up even more and then they would get madder at me. I used to lose/forget stuff all the time. But yelling at me didn't solve anything because I'd be so scared of getting yelled at that my mind would go blank. Maybe you got yelled at by parents/educators when you were younger?


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## JupiterStarr

Kon said:


> Very much. I'm intensely afraid of messing up and getting yelled at. Laughed at, wouldn't bother me. I think my fear comes from messing up and getting yelled at since I was little kid. I was slower at picking up stuff at work compared to others and I was very absent-minded/forgetful. I was yelled at by quite a few employers/my parents. When I got yelled at, that would make me screw up even more and then they would get madder at me. I used to lose/forget stuff all the time. But yelling at me didn't solve anything because I'd be so scared of getting yelled at that my mind would go blank.* Maybe you got yelled at by parents/educators when you were younger?*


Strangely, I don't think so. I think I've been yelled at and humiliated more as an adult.

Sometimes I wish I could just be a stay at home mom. I'd love to just hide at home and raise children.


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## CeilingStarer

I get this at work. My name of Michael is abbreviated to "Mikey." It's said in a tone of "poor little, shy Mikey."

Working blows so hard.


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## Mae West

JupiterStarr said:


> Do you find that others treat you like a child or as if you're stupid? Even worse, do you have a hard time defending yourself when others do this? Some people on my job really disrespect me. I've been cursed at and bossed around, but I sometimes think I deserve it.
> 
> I'm very quiet and I do think this comes across to others as acting stupid. I often feel quite intimidated by some of my co workers; I'm afraid of doing something stupid/weird and getting laughed at or worse, yelled at.


Yes. I think you have to get mad, get upset, do anything to show that this behavior is unacceptable. I've cried when people have treated me poorly and I don't regret it because that person never called me quiet to my face again. People are strange and will often respond better to you when they feel they need to work for your acceptance. I really think being less nice is the answer.


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## StarlightSonic

All the time. I get treated like I'm half my age. I hate it, it's so annoying. >.<


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## Mr Mask

Kon said:


> Very much. I'm intensely afraid of messing up and getting yelled at. Laughed at, wouldn't bother me. I think my fear comes from messing up and getting yelled at since I was little kid. I was slower at picking up stuff at work compared to others and I was very absent-minded/forgetful. I was yelled at by quite a few employers/my parents. When I got yelled at, that would make me screw up even more and then they would get madder at me. I used to lose/forget stuff all the time. But yelling at me didn't solve anything because I'd be so scared of getting yelled at that my mind would go blank. Maybe you got yelled at by parents/educators when you were younger?


Took the words right out of my mouth. It didn't help that at my last job almost all my coworkers didn't speak English.


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## EternallyRestless

Story of my life. My family sees me as this little girl who needs to be protected, especially my dad. And strangers tend to treat me like a child/speak to me condecendingly because I look about 3 years younger than I am. Sucks.


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## Jennifer Clayton

Sometimes I feel people treat me like a child and disrespect me because I am quiet/nice. It really pisses me off. What gives them the right? I feel so bad because I feel like I can't stand on my own, fight my own battles, like others can.

Yeah people annoy the heck out of me constantly.


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## Ultima

I really dont mind, I just smile at them letting them know in a gesturing like manner that the things they say dont effect me at all. I think it makes them feel awkward


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## tranquildream

Yes ._. and it doesn't help that I'm only 5 ft tall, so I appear even more like a child. Random people, some friends, and family have always treated me like I'm below them in some way. ADHD-PI makes me seem like a stupid child too, because I never know what's going on, always late, losing/forgetting things, irresponsible, etc... Haha, ironic that my avatar is a child?


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## Ventura

The tables have gone both ways with me ; 

Some people when I was younger 10-15 yrs old found my quietness / able to keep to myself without bugging everyone - maturity / I must of been older. At the age of 12 I had a few people convinced (I was also almost 5'7 ish) ... that I was 17 yrs old! 

There are sometimes now that I am almost 18 , no friends keep to myself , no parting shy ... non socially experiences find it 'immature' to not do the things kids are my age... others think I am 24- 26 yrs old ! >.<


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## BKrakow

Jennifer Clayton said:


> Sometimes I feel people treat me like a child and disrespect me because I am quiet/nice. It really pisses me off. What gives them the right? I feel so bad because I feel like I can't stand on my own, fight my own battles, like others can.


I often feel like people are treating me this way, but I find it hard to stand up to them because I always end up second guessing myself and being like, maybe they don't mean it and I'm just being too sensitive. I am a sensitive person and have been told I overreact to things my whole life, so now it's hard for me to trust my own feelings. it kinda sucks.

like, there's this woman at the post office I go to who always has some rude, condescending thing to say. one day she couldn't stop chortling over how I put two pieces of mail on the scale at once. she just kept going on about how she couldn't read the zip code and you can only do one letter at a time and blah blah. I definitely felt like she was trying to make me feel stupid, but I let it go. then the next time I went in I had to buy 4 stamps for 4 separate letters, and I'm putting the stamps on myself before I paid her and she said something like, "did you give me cash for this yet? man, hurry up! I put stamps on envelopes so fast and you're like struggling with them." I felt like saying well that's because you're a loser postal worker and this is all you have to do with your life, but of course I just smiled and said nothing. I mean, I'm glad I didn't snap and say something that mean, but I do kinda wish I'd at least said something. but I never know what to say so I always just clam up and then brood over it later.


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## seriouskid

I think I've got youngest child syndrome. I think I unconsciously behave quite childishly and at times inspire other to treat me as I were a child. I hate it.


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## Dothan

I don't think people mean to be disrespectful, they do it unintentionally, it is like a instinct to react that way to extreme shyness/quietness.


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## Cole87

All the time, I'm very short and look much younger then my age and I feel like a child inside. That's one of the things that hurts the most is not feeling my age on the outside.


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## HackBauer

Suffering from the same as you. Seems everything thats mentioned here fits me as of late. Perhaps its a phase because I thought I had beat SAD. Anyway, not only do I have horrible sense of humor and cant stop laughing when I do, but I also have a baby face, only adding to people treating me and telling me i'm 14 (because I don't date or go out).


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## Dazspace72

JupiterStarr said:


> Do you find that others treat you like a child or as if you're stupid? Even worse, do you have a hard time defending yourself when others do this? Some people on my job really disrespect me. I've been cursed at and bossed around, but I sometimes think I deserve it.
> 
> I'm very quiet and I do think this comes across to others as acting stupid. I often feel quite intimidated by some of my co workers; I'm afraid of doing something stupid/weird and getting laughed at or worse, yelled at.


im the same I'm 41 and feel embarrassed and like I'm at school again. Really hate feeling this way it's just a job at the end of the day but I get butterflies thinking about work.


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## haine22

I've been treated like a child so many times, even by my own best friends. It's very frustrating when I'm spoken down too and I don't defend myself because I don't know how to reply to such condescending remarks.
As well, I've been excluded by my own friends because they underestimate me or at other times they feel intimidated/jealous.
It also doesn't help the fact I'm quiet since I don't really feel like I need to say anything, or when I do talk about things I'm interested in I'm called "weird". :|
It probably is failure to connect on my part, but I really feel unheard and misunderstood when I'm with them - which is also the reason I draw further and further into myself. And I know I don't help myself when I'm being accused of the stupidest things, but I understand they say hurtful words when they're emotionally distress. Part of me believes I'm still hanging out with these people because they're convenient - same class, race, and I've been childhood friends with some. But there's too many different interests (even religious conflict) that comes between us. And there were too many times I've been excluded/snubbed when I join in. I'm not sure keeping this friendship is worth the grief and pain when I'm stepped on or taken advantaged of.

So far I know the safest bet (since I control myself - I don't respond to attacks because I don't want to make things worse) is to keep a distance from people who don't respect me. There are people who say things in a thoughtless manner, but I know when my insecurities are targeted. And there were times people say thoughtless things and it hurts, but what am I supposed to say when they didn't mean anything by it? 

Apparently a good friend isn't afraid to point out the flaws of their friends, but unfortunately I don't say anything because I know that my friends don't like to hear their own shortcomings pointed out. (Or they won't listen.)

I'm sick of being treated not only like a child, but I don't know how to address these communication issues. Mainly I think they only treat me like a child because they want to feel adult-like and in control when things get tough, we're only teenagers after all. But it's annoying.

Upon reflecting some more, they usually treat me like a child when they don't want to deal with me. That's very childish. I need to meet new people.


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## QuitSweatinMe

I'm short and getting treated like a child only makes me act more like a child  People only seem to listen to me when I act "cute." But when I went to Cuba for a week, people (other Canadian tourists) actually respected me and said that they could tell I was 20 yo from my demeanor. But I was just quieter and showed skin. Being short already sucks, but I guess not laughing or joking around makes me look older.


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## AnxiousBobo

I feel like my family and the few friends I have left think of me as a child. I honestly think a lot of people don't take SAD as a serious disorder and think of it as nothing more than excuses.

It's really demoralizing..


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## TeenAngst

People do this to me too, but I don't know if that's SA alone. Even with friends I know very well, I get this vibe from them. They often tell me to 'relax' and one of them even told me that I was "Just one of the people who needs to be taken care of"...
It baffles me, really. I may psychologically suffer from learned helplesness, but objectively I have been very independent and alone for my entire live. Noone to save my *** but myself.

I'm short, looking very feminine and kinda skinny. Guess that doesn't help either.

The worst part is that I think it may disgust some people. Like they think I am weak, and they feel better than me. I hate when some random dude hits on me, and I can tell from his facial expression alone, that he thinks I'm stupid and probably 'easy'. Not good for my anxiety and anger at all


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## Wulfgar

its because they see you're anxiety as a form of weakness. Men are especially hard on other men for this...those alpha male types are the WORST but everyone seems to love them


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## Wulfgar

but those are exactly the types of guys who are out "getting theirs" in life and doing what they want. dont let anyone make you feel like you should keep your mouth shut or act a certain way....because while they're out getting theirs, you'll be alone somewhere when you could be out getting YOURS.......and by "getting yours" I mean being successful, making friends, meeting girls, building your self esteem, ect.


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## ForgettableDoll

I'm tall and get treated like a child.


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## TeenAngst

Will Ge said:


> its because they see you're anxiety as a form of weakness. *Men are especially hard on other men for this*...those alpha male types are the WORST but everyone seems to love them


THIS! I'm a woman but this pains me so much to see. I hate those wannabe alpha's who think testosterone means idiocy. I hate the way our culture misinterpret empathy for weakness and strength for being loud and arrogant.
Those guys they pick on doesn't even have to have anything wrong with them - like, they don't have to be overly nice or anything, just sensitive and caring. Or artistic, thougtful, a lot of the things I really like! It baffles me, especially since the guys they pick on, in my own limited experience, has had superior intelligence and ten times more interesting things to say
/rant end


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## Farideh

All the time man. I feel ya. The only reason why I get treated like a child is because of the fact that I look younger than I really am. I look like a 12 year old. Anyway, the fact that people will treat me in this sort of manner.. just because of the way how I look and not who I am as a person.. that really is ****ed up and makes me lack respect towards others. I always get treated like I'm stupid when clearly, I know for a fact that I am not. We all make mistakes. That's something that people will never understand. They see a person **** up on something and they are seen as stupid in their eyes. It's sad.


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## DarkmanX

TeenAngst said:


> THIS! I'm a woman but this pains me so much to see. I hate those wannabe alpha's who think testosterone means idiocy. I hate the way our culture misinterpret empathy for weakness and strength for being loud and arrogant.
> Those guys they pick on doesn't even have to have anything wrong with them - like, they don't have to be overly nice or anything, just sensitive and caring. Or artistic, thougtful, a lot of the things I really like! It baffles me, especially since the guys they pick on, in my own limited experience, has had superior intelligence and ten times more interesting things to say
> /rant end


Wow, so much truth in this and @Will Ge first post i dont even know what to say.

That is one reason why i think ive grown to be a little more aggressive at times around certain ppl. When i went too depression prior to recent one i was in high school and people loved test me or try to make a fool out of me because of it. Never let them, but sometimes they got me.

Like you said people take empathy as a sign for weakness. I think both women and men look at it that way, especially younger ones.


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## pete24

My grandmother treats me like a child.... When I try talking she switches off, looks at me, gives me a pathetic smile and whatever I say she just nod's her head and agrees with me.

When I try and explain my depression and social anxiety she replies "I know, I know" and doesnt say much else. 

She never takes what I say into consideration and even when I have explained whats wrong with me, she will go behind my back and talk about me to my mum and say how lazy I am.


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## TeenAngst

DarkmanX said:


> Wow, so much truth in this and @Will Ge first post i dont even know what to say.
> 
> That is one reason why i think ive grown to be a little more aggressive at times around certain ppl. When i went too depression prior to recent one i was in high school and people loved test me or try to make a fool out of me because of it. Never let them, but sometimes they got me.
> 
> Like you said people take empathy as a sign for weakness. I think both women and men look at it that way, especially younger ones.


Yes, being more aggressive is necessary with this condition. There's the whole 'toughness/confidence testing', especially when starting a new class/at work and if you fail a few times in the beginning, things can get pretty passive-aggressively ugly afterwards

And while I think both men and women mistake empathy for weakness, I think the stigma against men showing empathy is higher.
If a guy gets the 'sissy boy stamp'(of course there's some drama queens, but mostly it's because they're a goodlooking/skinny-combo, caring, insightful or whatever) it's suddenly SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE to ridicule, disrespect and ignore him.

I think it's sad because even though some guys on here are going to overcome their condition and be true to themselves, some may still get this stigma. Many are hypersensitive and may feel like they have to hide their true selves and downplay emotional intellect/opinions in order to not be mistaken for weak. Which pretty much can give you SA alone come to think of it...


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## tbyrfan

All the ****ing time. People can be pretty patronizing. I'm short and have a skinny 12-year-old body, so that probably factors into it.


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## DarkmanX

TeenAngst said:


> Yes, being more aggressive is necessary with this condition. There's the whole 'toughness/confidence testing', especially when starting a new class/at work and if you fail a few times in the beginning, things can get pretty passive-aggressively ugly afterwards
> 
> And while I think both men and women mistake empathy for weakness, I think the stigma against men showing empathy is higher.
> If a guy gets the 'sissy boy stamp'(of course there's some drama queens, but mostly it's because they're a goodlooking/skinny-combo, caring, insightful or whatever) it's suddenly SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE to ridicule, disrespect and ignore him.
> 
> I think it's sad because even though some guys on here are going to overcome their condition and be true to themselves, some may still get this stigma. Many are hypersensitive and may feel like they have to hide their true selves and downplay emotional intellect/opinions in order to not be mistaken for weak. Which pretty much can give you SA alone come to think of it...


Exactly. You hit it right on the spot. What you said is one of the biggest reasons why i fear getting a job, for example.

I've had 1 job and i did alright, in my opinion, but i still fear it. Not only the interview part but what you just described.

I feel confused. Not even gonna lie - i'm from what could be seen as a bad neighborhood to some and i'm a minority (racially) so i feel like i don't know how to be. Ironically as a youth i was very well rounded, now? not as much. Experiences like that that has made me feel like i don't know whether or not to be my self, which can cause what you just said, or to be more aggressive/direct/honest (without necessarily being disrespectful) which can lead to them feeling intimidated, uncomfortable or can be used against me and/or make me lose out on alot (like a job).

Outside of that, when i do get more aggressive i get less talkative, more quick tempered and so on. So if a person wants to be sarcastic or rude i'll have a hard time not confronting them or doing something (in some way), or hard time being phony around them or act like i like them or even talk to him/her and letting go. Because i get aggressive i almost put myself in a mental situation where my back is against the wall to where i have to swing back at anyone trying to fire my way, which ends up with me being angry, not letting it go and might even blurt out something right then and there.

I have a real hard time being fake. My anxiety goes beyond the roof when i cant say or do what's on my mind. I NEVER try to be disrespectful, but i'm more of a karma guy. You talk ****, you get it back. You're nice, i'll be twice as nice.

So i feel confused on how to really be around certain people/enviroments.


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## inver86

smoke a joint I works for me


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## inver86

smoke a j It works for me then drink a bottle of whisky and put a bit of decent music on and dance the night away


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