# Guys: thinking a girl being a virgin isn't anything special?



## CourtneyB (Jul 31, 2010)

Why do some other guys have this "yeah, you're a virgin...so what?" attitude? You would think they would be happy that the girl isn't sleeping with a ton of guys. Or am I wrong in thinking that?

*Non-virgin* guys: do you prefer a virgin girl or does it not matter?


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

CourtneyB said:


> Why do some other guys have this "yeah, you're a virgin...so what?" attitude? You would think they would be happy that the girl isn't sleeping with a ton of guys.
> 
> *Non-virgin* guys: do you prefer a virgin girl or does it not matter?


I don't think it would matter because at my age she would most likely not be a virgin. Then again I would prefer that she would not have much experience but that's not realistic. I mean not ever having had sex myself I would just feel like she would be judging me because she has had sex before and I haven't.

I didn't see that you asked for non-virgin guys.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Virgin girls are less "red flagged" than a woman who has slept around a lot for someone who wants a committed relationship. One thing I really don't want to know is how many guys the girl as been with. I may ask way later in the relationship but at first I don't want to know. The only question I ask related to that when I first meet a girl is if she has any STDs or anything.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

It would be nice to settle down with a virgin, but at my age, this is becoming a remote possibility.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

I would love to settle down with a virgin.... but no chance. 

My last girlfriend was a virgin but I didnt know. She was really hot and I just assumed she must of had sex. I accepted that. She was trying to put off having sex together and finally when we did it there was blood... a massive sign I should of picked up on. It was only months later she admitted to me that she was a virgin. It made me love her even more. She ended it for all sorts of reasons including saying she just wants time to be single. However taking her virginity added to the specialness of things for me and perhaps has been 1 of the factors as to why its a relationship I will never get over.

Thats the danger point. In reality you should ask why the girl is a virgin?? Either shes been too nervous to have sex before (so its affected her previous relationships) or she has this idea that she wants to wait until she meets the right guy as its special.

Either way guys are screwed because once they realise its nothing to be nervous about or its not as special as they thought it would be, they dont feel that doing it with just the 1 guy forever is fulfilling enough or even want to make up for all the time they didnt sleep with anyone because they were too nervous. Soon enough the woman will want to be enjoying the single life unless you both are 100% matches... soulmates perhaps

It makes the breakup hurt even more, knowing taking her virginity was special and that shes going to be sleeping with other guys


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## lilyamongthorns (Aug 13, 2012)

Interesting thread, interesting posts.


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## meeps (Dec 5, 2011)

CourtneyB said:


> Why do some other guys have this "yeah, you're a virgin...so what?" attitude? You would think they would be happy that the girl isn't sleeping with a ton of guys. Or am I wrong in thinking that?
> 
> *Non-virgin* guys: do you prefer a virgin girl or does it not matter?


non-virgin woman ≠ has slept with a ton of guys
I'm not a virgin and I've only slept with one guy.
And I don't like the whole female sexuality-shaming thing. I guess the guys who don't care don't do this.


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## CourtneyB (Jul 31, 2010)

meeps said:


> non-virgin woman ≠ has slept with a ton of guys
> I'm not a virgin and I've only slept with one guy.
> And I don't like the whole female sexuality-shaming thing. I guess the guys who don't care don't do this.


I didn't mean that every non-virgin girl has been with a ton of guys or several. I meant it as more of a rarity these days. Good for you, though! :high5


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

I'd prefer a virgin. 

As for why some guys say "it doesn't matter"...you'd have to ask "Why does being a virgin matter?" For me personally, it's just comforting to know that my girl hasn't been there with another guy. It makes me feel more special. There is also the fact that I don't have to worry about std's. :stu I guess it wouldn't matter to me if I was less emotional lol :stu or maybe if I didn't see sex as something special.

There was a point in time, when I was younger, when I thought virgin women were "better" / more pure. With a little less naivete I've come to realize that often times this isn't the case. Some people are simply virgins because of bad luck rather than being on a higher spiritual level, as I once thought. If one is a virgin due to sheer will power, they should be commended. If a woman I was attracted to remained a virgin by will in the face of temptation, I would respect her a bit more for that. I can't say I'd respect her any less if this was far from the case though , it depends.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

I can safely say I would NOT want to be in a relationship with a virgin. Casual sex? Sure, that would be great. But the chances of having casual sex with a virgin is extremely slim. 

So...back to the relationship thing. I would prefer a girl who has some experience because she is then much more likely to know what she wants out of a guy, and not necessarily just sexually. A virgin girl would probably fall harder for a guy just because it's her first, and I don't need any of that going on. I want a girl who really likes me and KNOWS that she really likes me, not falling for me just because I show her the ropes. I want a girl who has dated and experienced things and is not only ready for a serious relationship but knows what she wants out of a guy. A girl who can challenge me in every way.

I have nothing against girls who are virgins and I wouldn't outright condemn a girl for it, but the reality of a virgin girl satisfying those needs is very unlikely IMO.


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## meeps (Dec 5, 2011)

CourtneyB said:


> Good for you, though! :high5


:sus :no


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## CourtneyB (Jul 31, 2010)

meeps said:


> :sus :no


:teeth I couldn't help it.


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## meeps (Dec 5, 2011)

CourtneyB said:


> :teeth I couldn't help it.


:troll


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## lilyamongthorns (Aug 13, 2012)

I agree with you Courtney. It's not that one is better than the other, I just hope my future husband appreciates the fact that I saved myself for him. 

I really like the discussions going on here. I've been encouraged by some of the comments.


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## puffyrock2 (Dec 15, 2009)

I would rather be in a relationship with a fellow virgin. We would both me in same boat, so it would be easier to relate to one another.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

puffyrock2 said:


> I would rather be in a relationship with a fellow virgin. We would both me in same boat, so it would be easier to relate to one another.


I would to but the chances that I'll find a virgin anywhere near my age is almost impossible.


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## puffyrock2 (Dec 15, 2009)

ravens said:


> I would to but the chances that I'll find a virgin anywhere near my age is almost impossible.


You're best shot would be to go after girls in their 20's. College age. Even at that age, they would probably still not be virgins, but you may be able to find a girl that age with little experience.


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## xstrongandsilentx (Jul 17, 2010)

Not sure why some guys would have the so what? attitude I usually get though whoa or that's a good thing response hahahaha but I don't think guys particularly go looking for virgins I mean my gf is a virgin like me but I didn't know when we started dating we discussed it and it was cool because I think we both felt a lil bit more comfortable knowing were both in the same boat but if she wasn't a virgin I wouldn't have blinked because it doesn't change my thoughts about her.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Mimic said:


> So to answer your question, you'll find that most people who don't find virginity special are not religious, and/or they are very independent. In other words, they think for themselves.


Go ahead and tell us how you really feel about religion. :no


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## lilyamongthorns (Aug 13, 2012)

srschirm said:


> Go ahead and tell us how you really feel about religion. :no


:agree


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

I like virgins.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

Female virginity doesn't seem to be an issue here, but it is all over this site. It's weird. If I did have to choose I'd prefer someone both confident and experienced.


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## DubnRun (Oct 29, 2011)

I'd be happier dating a virgin than a non V. Even though I've never had a date it still seems better since I am myself.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Being happy that a girl is a virgin implies that there's something wrong with not being a virgin - that it somehow diminishes the person.
Being a virgin is fine. Not being a virgin is fine. What matters is how you are as a person.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Milco said:


> Being happy that a girl is a virgin implies that there's something wrong with not being a virgin - that it somehow diminishes the person.


It doesn't actually. It's just a preference.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

srschirm said:


> It doesn't actually. It's just a preference.


But is it something that should be a preference? I'm struggling to see what difference it makes.
And it's certain not something I could reject somebody based on, but maybe others just get much more lady attention than I do xD


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

I would prefer her not to be a virgin because of the time it'll take before she starts enjoying it. 

I wouldn't turn down a girl for that reason alone, thought.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Milco said:


> But is it something that should be a preference? I'm struggling to see what difference it makes.
> And it's certain not something I could reject somebody based on, but maybe others just get much more lady attention than I do xD


Asking if something _should_ be a preference implies that having preferences are a bad thing. As far as I'm concerned, choosing a partner for a relationship is one of the most important things you can do in your life, so you best be damn sure you make the right choice for YOU. Having preferences is an important part of making that correct decision. And a girl being a virgin versus not could imply many different things about her that you may or may not be particularly excited about. I say a girl being a virgin is not a deal-breaker because those things that I worry about are only implied, not set in stone. However, since some or all of those implications are generally true (at least in my mind), I would _prefer_ a non-virgin.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

It might be okay to date a virgin but you wouldn't want to marry one. Very likely they will get curious down the road and want to try other people.....it's always greener on the other side. This would especially happen if there are difficulties/conflicts in the relationship. They might be with a really great person but not realize it since they don't have experience.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

komorikun said:


> It might be okay to date a virgin but you wouldn't want to marry one. Very likely they will get curious down the road and want to try other people.....it's always greener on the other side. This would especially happen if there are difficulties/conflicts in the relationship. They might be with a really great person but not realize it since they don't have experience.


Actually, you speak from a standpoint that makes sense.

My Aunt and Uncle were high school sweethearts, and after 15 years of being happily married with children my Aunt went off and had an affair. Completely out of her character, and everything too. It shocked everyone in the family.

Amazingly they looked past it, and are still happily married though, but I wonder if he ever went out and 'got revenge'.


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## niacin (May 26, 2012)

Being a virgin isn't special. Everyone was a virgin at one point. Sure, making someone's first time special is nice, but I'm always weary of guys who get_ way_ too hyped up about me or any other girl being a virgin. It can come off as territorial. We're all just people.

But at least virgins don't have STDs. That is a big bonus.


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## AwkBoy (Jun 7, 2012)

You know what they say . . . virgins are a dying breed.


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## niacin (May 26, 2012)

AwkBoy said:


> You know what they say . . . virgins are a dying breed.


There are literally virgins born every day


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## niacin (May 26, 2012)

omg that came out wrong.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

niacin said:


> omg that came out wrong.


Sounded fine to me


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

I rather be with an experienced woman, for then she could show me what hole to penetrate. All would go swell from there. CLOSE THE BLINDS!


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

My question is why do some guys (and women about other women?) care? Being a virgin doesn't mean the guy you sleep with will mean more to you. Yeah, I probably won't forget him, but that doesn't mean he'll hold a "dear place in my heart." I'd looove to meet a guy who doesn't give a **** about the amount of guys I've slept with or lack thereof. I don't care how many he's been with (or hasn't), so why should he?

I don't know how many times I'm going to write this: your sexual experience alone says nothing about you. A woman who's a virgin is no better than one who isn't and vice versa.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

I don't care, I am more concerned about their overall personality, unless they wear their sexual history on their sleeve, or other places hidden by clothing.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

CourtneyB said:


> Why do some other guys have this "yeah, you're a virgin...so what?" attitude? You would think they would be happy that the girl isn't sleeping with a ton of guys. Or am I wrong in thinking that?
> 
> *Non-virgin* guys: do you prefer a virgin girl or does it not matter?


A honestly a "virtuous" woman would be refreshing. At my age though that's out of the question. I would never want to be with the neighborhood "pump".


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## northstar1991 (Oct 4, 2011)

AllToAll said:


> My question is why do some guys (and women about other women?) care? Being a virgin doesn't mean the guy you sleep with will mean more to you. Yeah, I probably won't forget him, but that doesn't mean he'll hold a "dear place in my heart." I'd looove to meet a guy who doesn't give a **** about the amount of guys I've slept with or lack thereof. I don't care how many he's been with (or hasn't), so why should he?
> 
> I don't know how many times I'm going to write this: your sexual experience alone says nothing about you. A woman who's a virgin is no better than one who isn't and vice versa.


Exactly! I couldn't have said it better myself!


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

puffyrock2 said:


> You're best shot would be to go after girls in their 20's. College age.


Probably the sickest reason for a 40-something-year-old man to date a 20-something-year-old girl, but I guess it happens. And more frequently than I like to believe, too.



theseventhkey said:


> A honestly a "virtuous" woman would be refreshing.


If it's not a standard you hold everyone to, it doesn't count as a virtue.

But naturally, it's the people who are always making or laughing at sleazy jokes who somehow think it's important for girls to be "pure." What a shock.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

Lets be honest with ourselves though.

It's easier for a virgin to fall in love than it is for someone who's been through a heartbreak before. I kind of like that, I wouldn't even mind the clingyness.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Canucklehead said:


> Lets be honest with ourselves though.
> 
> It's easier for a virgin to fall in love than it is for someone who's been through a heartbreak before. I kind of like that, I wouldn't even mind the clingyness.


You echo the sentiment I have expressed before. Clingyness doesn't bother me.


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## Quinn the Eskimo (Jan 22, 2012)

rather have a virgin any day


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

rednosereindeer said:


> Probably the sickest reason for a 40-something-year-old man to date a 20-something-year-old girl, but I guess it happens. And more frequently than I like to believe, too.
> 
> If it's not a standard you hold everyone to, it doesn't count as a virtue.
> 
> But naturally, it's the people who are always making or laughing at sleazy jokes who somehow think it's important for girls to be "pure." What a shock.


How is that sick?


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## meeps (Dec 5, 2011)

srschirm said:


> How is that sick?


dating someone 20 years younger than you (young enough to be your kid) just because they are a virgin and inexperienced = gross and sleazy


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

lilyamongthorns said:


> I agree with you Courtney. It's not that one is better than the other, I just hope my future husband appreciates the fact that I saved myself for him.
> 
> I really like the discussions going on here. I've been encouraged by some of the comments.


I know he'll appreciate it. Anyone who doesn't wouldn't deserve to be your husband.


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

Canucklehead said:


> Lets be honest with ourselves though.
> 
> It's easier for a virgin to fall in love than it is for someone who's been through a heartbreak before. I kind of like that, I wouldn't even mind the clingyness.


Is it really the same for male virgins, though? The impression that I get is that most male virgins are virgins because they _can't_ find anyone to lose their virginity to, whereas most female virgins are virgins because they feel that they _have to_ stay pure and really think things through before they lose their virginity to "the one" or whatever.

It's bad enough to demand someone to be something that you're not, but to sleep with someone knowing that it will essentially "tie" her to you permanently - or at least until she realizes that the idea that the value of a girl goes down with every guy she sleeps with is a stupid, stupid one - is incredibly manipulative and *******-y. Please don't do that.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

meeps said:


> dating someone 20 years younger than you (young enough to be your kid) just because they are a virgin and inexperienced = gross and sleazy


Don't see it.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

puffyrock2 said:


> You're best shot would be to go after girls in their 20's. College age. Even at that age, they would probably still not be virgins, but you may be able to find a girl that age with little experience.


Yeah, use women like toys for your own benefit. That's great advice.



rednosereindeer said:


> Probably the sickest reason for a 40-something-year-old man to date a 20-something-year-old girl, but I guess it happens. And more frequently than I like to believe, too.
> 
> But naturally, it's the people who are always making or laughing at sleazy jokes who somehow think it's important for girls to be "pure." What a shock.
> If it's not a standard you hold everyone to, it doesn't count as a virtue.


He's trying to shame "women nowadays" by stating that most 20 year-olds probably aren't virgins, yet he's telling a 41 year-old man to have sex with one. So basically a woman who has sex by her own free will is wrong, but if it's for the benefit/pleasure of a man it's totes cool...

Generally young women who date older men tend to do so because they like the "fact" that they have more experience and usually because they have more money. Old guys who think they can just get a "naive 20 year-old to ****" are **** outta luck because these girls have a list of guys from which to choose and they won't pick an old man with no experience....


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Milco said:


> But is it something that should be a preference? I'm struggling to see what difference it makes.
> And it's certain not something I could reject somebody based on, but maybe others just get much more lady attention than I do xD


Why shouldn't it be a preference? I certainly date non-virgins, but I can certainly see the appeal of a virgin.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

rednosereindeer said:


> Is it really the same for male virgins, though? The impression that I get is that most male virgins are virgins because they _can't_ find anyone to lose their virginity to, whereas most female virgins are virgins because they feel that they _have to_ stay pure and really think things through before they lose their virginity to "the one" or whatever.
> 
> It's bad enough to demand someone to be something that you're not, but to sleep with someone knowing that it will essentially "tie" her to you permanently - or at least until she realizes that the idea that the value of a girl goes down with every guy she sleeps with is a stupid, stupid one - is incredibly manipulative and *******-y. Please don't do that.


Believe it or not, there are girls out there that like the idea of being with a Male virgin. You may not think so, but they are out there.

The chick I'm currently courting on okcupid was a little bummed out that I wasn't a virgin, because she is.


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## lilyamongthorns (Aug 13, 2012)

srschirm said:


> I know he'll appreciate it. Anyone who doesn't wouldn't deserve to be your husband.


:yes

You're right. Thank you, that made my day!


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

srschirm said:


> Why shouldn't it be a preference? I certainly date non-virgins, but I can certainly see the appeal of a virgin.


Oh pretty please explain the appeal.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

rymo said:


> Asking if something _should_ be a preference implies that having preferences are a bad thing. As far as I'm concerned, choosing a partner for a relationship is one of the most important things you can do in your life, so you best be damn sure you make the right choice for YOU. Having preferences is an important part of making that correct decision. And a girl being a virgin versus not could imply many different things about her that you may or may not be particularly excited about. I say a girl being a virgin is not a deal-breaker because those things that I worry about are only implied, not set in stone. However, since some or all of those implications are generally true (at least in my mind), I would _prefer_ a non-virgin.


Well-put, thank you. And you are right, generalizations/implications are often true.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

niacin said:


> There are literally virgins born every day


:-D


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Mimic said:


> What does my opinion on religion have to do anything? Do you have a problem with the reasoning of my post? If so, please state it.
> 
> If you're trying to imply that there is some reason outside of religion to value virginity, then please post that as well.


The way you phrased your post made you sound like a tool.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Canucklehead said:


> Believe it or not, there are girls out there that like the idea of being with a Male virgin. You may not think so, but they are out there.
> 
> The chick I'm currently courting on okcupid was a little bummed out that I wasn't a virgin, because she is.


I also have recent experience with this same type of woman.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

AllToAll said:


> Oh pretty please explain the appeal.


No man has ever been where you've been. She is pure.

Her having been with other guys isn't a turn-on. But it's something I can accept.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

AllToAll said:


> Oh pretty please explain the appeal.


I think it's usually guys who feel insecure about either their lovemaking or the size of their tool. A virgin won't know if the sex is bad or not cause she has little to compare with.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

komorikun said:


> I think it's usually guys who feel insecure about either their lovemaking or the size of their tool. A virgin won't know if the sex is bad or not cause she has little to compare with.


That has nothing to do with it at all.


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## mdiada (Jun 18, 2012)

AllToAll said:


> Oh pretty please explain the appeal.


From what I gather, it seems to be mostly territorial, jealousy-related. Which is natural to an extent, like you want that person to be *yours* alone, but the men who go overboard and are the controlling type who are turned on by "owning" and "deflowering" a virgin creep me out...


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

srschirm said:


> No man has ever been where you've been. She is pure.
> 
> Her having been with other guys isn't a turn-on. But it's something I can accept.


Is this a moral purity mainly? That someone would make such a statement only makes sense to me when I frame it in terms of something related to sexism or religious belief or cultural influences. I doubt most here are considering it in terms of disease, which would be slightly more rational.


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## MaxPower (May 1, 2012)

I don't care, and why would I? It tells me nothing about the person. It would be a good feeling to know she chose me as her first, but it's not a deal breaker.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

komorikun said:


> I think it's usually guys who feel insecure about either their lovemaking or the size of their tool.


No, I've had too much validation from my previous experiences for this to be a problem.


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

Canucklehead said:


> Believe it or not, there are girls out there that like the idea of being with a Male virgin. You may not think so, but they are out there.


Well, then it's a good thing I made sure to say "most," huh?

Edit: I just wanted to add that I understand where that OKCupid girl is coming from. I, too, had expected the first boy to be have saved himself for me because I had been led to believe that virginity was a virtue of sorts and that saving it for marriage (or at least someone you have every intention to marry) was what good/decent people do. Which kind of makes me wonder: Why _don't_ the girls who have come out to say they're "saving" themselves seem to expect their future husband or whatever to be a virgin? Why don't they care more? It's one thing if they've fallen for a specific guy as a whole person and it's kind of too late to make that an issue, but so far it just seems like the lack of purity in a guy won't be an issue at all for them. So to these girls, please. Explain yourself.



srschirm said:


> No, I've had too much validation from my previous experiences for this to be a problem.


Aw, does this mean you're not exactly pure yourself?

Well, good for you.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

R91 said:


> Wtf is this.
> 
> 1) Being a virgin doesn't mean you haven't been in love.
> 2) Having your heart broken doesn't mean you aren't a virgin.


Maybe not but there is a correlation. I'm willing to bet more non-virgins have been in love/had their heart broken than virgins.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

odd_one_out said:


> Is this a moral purity mainly? That someone would make such a statement only makes sense to me when I frame it in terms of something related to sexism or religious belief or cultural influences. I doubt most here are considering it in terms of disease, which would be slightly more rational.


I'm mainly referring to moral/spiritual.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

MaxPower said:


> It would be a good feeling to know she chose me as her first, but it's not a deal breaker.


This is how I feel.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

srschirm said:


> I'm mainly referring to moral/spiritual.


The word you used - purity - is indicative of there being a double standard, which is discussed in academic circles in terms of sexism. A good way to explore this is to ask yourself: if I were female would I hold the same standards for males?


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

odd_one_out said:


> A good way to explore this is to ask yourself: if I were female would I hold the same standards for males?


Maybe so, and they would have every right to do so. Though I said it's not a deal-breaker if she isn't a virgin.


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## Laith (Mar 20, 2009)

I prefer to be with a girl who has had fewer partners. Any girl can go out and have sex whenever she wants. Even ones that aren't that good looking. So when a girl has not had that many partners, it shows that she has discipline and standards, which makes her more desirable. Not to mention safer. So ya its special. 

Like anything else in life, if its easy to get, its less valuable/not as special. The most valuable/special things in life are the ones not everyone can get, things you gotta work hard for, etc.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

As a virgin, I would feel most comfortable with virgin girls.


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## CynicalDreamer (Sep 19, 2012)

I've been with one virgin and at the time I didn't know. After all was said and done, it wasn't very fun. Maybe it could have been better if she was straight forward about being a virgin. 

I'd prefer a girl to have some experience but to be a bit vulgar, I don't want a woman who has been dipped into more times than a public swimming pool.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Mimic said:


> In what way? I've reread it and I can't see what's wrong with it.


I shouldn't have said it like that, and I apologize for it. The way I read it was that anyone who is religious can't think for themselves.


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## Marvel Fantatic (Aug 23, 2012)

They probably don't believe you. Myself, I wouldn't mind sleeping with a virgin but I wouldn't seek a serious relationship with one. I prefer to be with someone who had had a few sexual relationships so she won't be curious how it would be with someone else.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Mimic said:


> That's your opinion. In fact, an old man being attracted to a 20 year old makes more sense biologically then him being attracted to someone his own age. I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable.


Biology is not a very good excuse. We can use biology as an excuse for many horrible acts. It makes sense biologically for a step-father to knock up his step-daughter. It makes sense for a woman to cheat on her husband (secretly) if he has bad genetics.


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

komorikun said:


> Biology is not a very good excuse. We can use biology as an excuse for many horrible acts. It makes sense biologically for a step-father to knock up his step-daughter. It makes sense for a woman to cheat on her husband (secretly) if he has bad genetics.


Good one.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

srschirm said:


> No man has ever been where you've been. She is pure.
> 
> Her having been with other guys isn't a turn-on. But it's something I can accept.


She's not "pure" because she hasn't had sex. No one is pure. Ever.



komorikun said:


> I think it's usually guys who feel insecure about either their lovemaking or the size of their tool. A virgin won't know if the sex is bad or not cause she has little to compare with.


:lol I don't know how much I agree with that, but it definitely made me laugh.



mdiada said:


> From what I gather, it seems to be mostly territorial, jealousy-related. Which is natural to an extent, like you want that person to be *yours* alone, but the men who go overboard and are the controlling type who are turned on by "owning" and "deflowering" a virgin creep me out...


Emphasis on territorial, and no, it's not "normal." Let's begin with the fact that a person doesn't belong to you, be it man or woman. Although this archaic notion about female virgins is historically associated with property. The woman belongs to the man, therefore she couldn't have been with anyone. Otherwise she'd be tainted and useless.



Mimic said:


> That's your opinion. In fact, an old man being attracted to a 20 year old makes more sense biologically then him being attracted to someone his own age. I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable.


An old man being attracted to a 20 year-old is not the same as an old man dating a 20 year-old to "pop her cherry."

Let's face it, both men and women find people in their 20s and 30s more attractive than they do their peers, but wtf does that have to do with some pervert wanting to have sex with 18-20 year-olds because they "have less" sexual experience? That's using someone and that's not just creepy, that's ****ed up.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

AllToAll said:


> :lol I don't know how much I agree with that, but it definitely made me laugh.


I guess that doesn't work as well nowadays (for insecure men) because of porno. From watching porno female virgins know that not all guys are 2 minute men, have small wieners, won't go down on you.


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

Mimic said:


> In fact, an old man being attracted to a 20 year old makes more sense biologically then him being attracted to someone his own age. I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable.


Actually, a recent study found that older fathers are more likely to be the cause of birth defects in their children. There was a thread linking to the article in the Society & Culture section if you're interested in the study.

So basically, if it is "biology" like you claim, then it would actually make more sense for older women to be encouraged to pursue younger men. But it's the other way around, because it's not a matter of biology. It's a matter of social conditioning. Youth is sexualized and fetishized in women.

That aside, as others have said, biology is just a cop out excuse. And not a very logical one at that. There was a time when human beings crapped outside. And then we evolved, and eventually the toilet and indoor plumbing were invented. If you saw a dude taking a **** on your lawn today and he said, "Sorry man, don't blame me, it's biology!" I doubt you'd be like, "lol oh ok! Carry on then!" Part of human biology includes the ability to use logic and reason.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

komorikun said:


> Biology is not a very good excuse. We can use biology as an excuse for many horrible acts. It makes sense biologically for a step-father to knock up his step-daughter. It makes sense for a woman to cheat on her husband (secretly) if he has bad genetics.


Why do they need an excuse anyway? There's nothing wrong with two consenting adults getting together, whatever their ages.

This whole thing started with someone giving advice on what a 40-year-old with no romantic experience should do. Hardly the 'predator-prey' relationship that many here are portraying it as. Nor was there anything that implied using a virgin girl for sex. It makes no sense to judge according to a stereotype even when we know the actual situation.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Ape in space said:


> Why do they need an excuse anyway? There's nothing wrong with two consenting adults getting together, whatever their ages.
> 
> This whole thing started with someone giving advice on what a 40-year-old with no romantic experience should do. Hardly the 'predator-prey' relationship that many here are portraying it as. Nor was there anything that implied using a virgin girl for sex. It makes no sense to judge according to a stereotype even when we know the actual situation.


Usually when a 40 year old wants to date a 20 year old it's because they want someone they can easily manipulate. In this case it would be because of severe insecurity. I don't know. Just yuck.

Doesn't matter anyways. I don't think a 20 year old would want to date an inexperienced 40 year old unless they were rich or something.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

rednosereindeer said:


> Probably the sickest reason for a 40-something-year-old man to date a 20-something-year-old girl, but I guess it happens. And more frequently than I like to believe, too.
> 
> If it's not a standard you hold everyone to, it doesn't count as a virtue.
> 
> But naturally, it's the people who are always making or laughing at sleazy jokes who somehow think it's important for girls to be "pure." What a shock.


Bottom line, I wouldn't want a woman who just gives it up to Tom, Dick, or Harry. To me that my version of "virtue".


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

srschirm said:


> Go ahead and tell us how you really feel about religion. :no


Exactly what I was thinking lol.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

AllToAll said:


> My question is why do some guys (and women about other women?) care?


Its all about what people make of it. I wanted to meet a virgin for years. Never did so accepted I wouldnt, then by chance my ex was a virgin. As I put in my other post it was dangerous since once she lost her virginity to me she basically gained confidence or realised it wasnt that special so wanted the single life to do what she missed out on.

IMO taking a girls virginity = "special" that she trusted me and cared enough to let me do that (especially if shes turned down other guys previously), adds a bit more of a special feeling to the relationship (but makes it harder to get over if it ends).

Being with a non-virgin = I dont care because the "special" things could happen in other forms (such as doing new things together...even not in the bedroom that you both havent done before). As long as I am not told numbers or the names of people she has slept with.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

pete24 said:


> Its all about what people make of it. I wanted to meet a virgin for years. Never did so accepted I wouldnt, then by chance my ex was a virgin. As I put in my other post it was dangerous since once she lost her virginity to me she basically gained confidence or realised it wasnt that special so wanted the single life to do what she missed out on.
> 
> IMO taking a girls virginity = "special" that she trusted me and cared enough to let me do that (especially if shes turned down other guys previously), adds a bit more of a special feeling to the relationship (but makes it harder to get over if it ends).
> 
> Being with a non-virgin = I dont care because the "special" things could happen in other forms (such as doing new things together...even not in the bedroom that you both havent done before). As long as I am not told numbers or the names of people she has slept with.


It was a rhetorical question. I know why some guys like virgins and I honestly don't care to have the same thing repeated over and over. Simply because a woman loses her virginity to you doesn't mean she thinks you're special. Hell, even your GF left you afterwards... It's the person that makes sex, regardless of whether it's your 1st or 40th time, that makes that moment between you two special. 
The first guy I have sex with will most likely not mean much to me simply because my first time is something I want to get out of the way. Not to mention I wouldn't want the first to be my only one. So let's stop assuming that if a woman "loses her virginity" to you, you're special.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Mimic said:


> You mean like when she wants someone she can easily manipulate? I don't know. Just yuck.


At least then the manipulation wouldn't be one sided.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

Mimic said:


> Why is it so hard to believe that a 40 year old might actually like a 20 year old for something other than sex?


It's not outside the realm of possibility, but honestly what would a 40 year old man want with a 20 year old female besides a place to put his rusty old meat popsicle.

I'm sure the conversation wouldn't be all that that stimulating.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Canucklehead said:


> It's not outside the realm of possibility, but honestly what would a 40 year old man want with a 20 year old female besides a place to put his rusty old meat popsicle.
> 
> I'm sure the conversation wouldn't be all that that stimulating.


I really hope the kids don't talk about me this way when I'm 40! Haha.


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## WalkingDisaster (Nov 27, 2010)

I honestly couldn't care either way. If me and a girl were into each other it would be no obstacle for me either way.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

AllToAll said:


> It was a rhetorical question. I know why some guys like virgins and I honestly don't care to have the same thing repeated over and over. Simply because a woman loses her virginity to you doesn't mean she thinks you're special. Hell, even your GF left you afterwards... It's the person that makes sex, regardless of whether it's your 1st or 40th time, that makes that moment between you two special.
> The first guy I have sex with will most likely not mean much to me simply because my first time is something I want to get out of the way. Not to mention I wouldn't want the first to be my only one. So let's stop assuming that if a woman "loses her virginity" to you, you're special.


I misread, surely it does if they have been in relationships before but said no to sex? Perhaps because they didnt feel ready or it didnt feel like something they wanted to do with that person.

Fair enough some people see it as something they want to "get out the way", but others dont, they wont just rush in and do it with anyone so they can say they have experience.

"Marvel Fantatic" Nailed it really when they said and the girl being curious after a while to see what its like with others. Which is probably what happened with my girlfriend... however she didnt leave me soon after losing her virginity, and indeed at the point of it happening she later told me it felt right and special to lose it to me.

I know many people who say their first time was special. I know mine was and always will be something I remember. Turned down women before her, it felt right with her and even to this day shes probably the only ex I still have time for as friends....even though shes married, if we see eachother randomly, we stop and talk for ages.

It all depends on the age of someone. I find if she loses it under the age of 20 then its something she doesnt find special or wants to lose and gain experience... If shes over 20 then she could well of been waiting for that right, special person


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## CourtneyB (Jul 31, 2010)

Holy sh*t, do I know how to start a popular controversial topic! :teeth There's so many people I want to reply to.

Oh and the guy who said "so what?" knows and believes I'm a virgin. He just doesn't think it's anything special to set me apart from other girls (from what I gather).


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

CourtneyB said:


> Why do some other guys have this "yeah, you're a virgin...so what?" attitude? You would think they would be happy that the girl isn't sleeping with a ton of guys. Or am I wrong in thinking that?
> 
> *Non-virgin* guys: do you prefer a virgin girl or does it not matter?


Hmmm, never heard of the careless attitude towards a woman being a virgin. I always thought men saw a female virgin as the holy grail.

I'd prefer someone with experience, but wouldn't dismiss her because she was a virgin unless she was holding out for marriage or religious reasons. That would be a turn off because I'm not looking for that type.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

jsgt said:


> Hmmm, never heard of the careless attitude towards a woman being a virgin. I always thought men saw a female virgin as the holy grail.
> 
> I'd prefer someone with experience, but wouldn't dismiss her because she was a virgin unless she was holding out for marriage or religious reasons. That would be a turn off because I'm not looking for that type.


I wouldn't be able to move in with someone let alone get married without having had sex with that person first.


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

Canucklehead said:


> I wouldn't be able to move in with someone let alone get married without having had sex with that person first.


Don't blame you. Sexual compatibility is an important part of a relationship.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

pete24 said:


> I misread, surely it does if they have been in relationships before but said no to sex? Perhaps because they didnt feel ready or it didnt feel like something they wanted to do with that person.


Surely? No. Everyone is different. You can't expect that simply because she's a woman over the age of 20 it's because she's been waiting for "that special someone."



> Fair enough some people see it as something they want to "get out the way", but others dont, they wont just rush in and do it with anyone so they can say they have experience.


So people who have sex for the sake of having it are doing it to _say_ they've had the experience? Way to generalize, but of course I don't find it surprising from you.



> "Marvel Fantatic" Nailed it really when they said and the girl being curious after a while to see what its like with others. Which is probably what happened with my girlfriend... however she didnt leave me soon after losing her virginity, and indeed at the point of it happening she later told me it felt right and special to lose it to me.
> 
> I know many people who say their first time was special. I know mine was and always will be something I remember. Turned down women before her, it felt right with her and even to this day shes probably the only ex I still have time for as friends....even though shes married, if we see eachother randomly, we stop and talk for ages.
> 
> *It all depends on the age of someone. I find if she loses it under the age of 20 then its something she doesnt find special or wants to lose and gain experience...* If shes over 20 then she could well of been waiting for that right, special person


Here we go again with generalizations...


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

Mimic said:


> I'm no sexologist, but wanting to "pop a girl's cherry" could probably be classified as a fetish. We all have our fetishes. I'm sure even you have some fetish that people would be shocked and appalled to learn that you have. I don't like to judge people's sexual preferences as long as they aren't hurting anybody else in the process. The situation you described in your first sentence does sound like the girl is being used, so I don't think that is right. But, similar to what I said above, if an older man wants to deflower an 18-20 year old, and she happens to be okay with it, then I see no problem.


Of course it's a fetish for some men. Never argued otherwise, but it's not without social influence (like many fetishes). If both people are into it, obviously there is nothing wrong with the action, but his fetish is problematic in and of itself and telling of the society we live in where virginity in a woman is viewed as something precious and telling of her purity/innocence. Female virgins are cherished because the man who finally gets to have sex with her gets to feel like she's his and only his sex object. It reduces women to their sexuality. It's objectifying, and therefore it fits neatly into other kinds of objectification. Blah blah blah, it's sexist.
It's like saying that a white guy who wants to date a black person so he can act like her/his master is completely harmless because "everyone has fetishes."


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Mimic said:


> Why is it so hard to believe that a 40 year old might actually like a 20 year old for something other than sex? Besides, most relationships I've seen like this involve both parties using each other. The man uses the woman for sex and the woman uses the man for money/status. It obviously isn't an ideal relationship, but I'm sure both realize that they're being used. So if they don't mind, then what's the problem?


My sister is dating a guy more than 20 years older than her but it's a very lop-sided relationship. I think she must be getting at least several thousand a month, health insurance, trips to various countries, and many many expensive presents. Her apartment was full of all of her expensive dresses, makeup, perfume and stuff. He gets upset with her sometimes cause sex is not as often as wanted and probably deep down he knows she's in it for the money. I met him and he's a nice enough guy but I don't really feel sorry for him. If he wanted a real relationship he could easily date a nice woman in her 50s.


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## NoIce (Sep 10, 2011)

ehhh...

My understanding of the original advice dictating that a certain member seek younger women was more to do with the fact that they would have more sexual maturity in common with said person, and NOT because of some skewed fetish or warped social conditioning...

Also, certain people need to chill out and not take this thread so seriously, it's not like people are saying non-virgins are the scum of the earth, they are merely expressing a positive preference, the abscence of which does not create a negative perception of the person in question.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

AllToAll said:


> Surely? No. Everyone is different. You can't expect that simply because she's a woman over the age of 20 it's because she's been waiting for "that special someone."
> 
> So people who have sex for the sake of having it are doing it to _say_ they've had the experience? Way to generalize, but of course I don't find it surprising from you.
> 
> Here we go again with generalizations...


Lets face it, if a woman is over 20 and hasnt had sex shes either butt ugly and nobody would go near her, is fridgid as hell and hasnt even kissed a guy, or wants to wait for the right person. I used the latter to describe it because there are people here who havnt had sex and believe they are "ugly", so I dont want to cause offence by mentioning the obvious other reasons.

I didnt say that was the only reason, theres others such as for fun, but as you even say yourself, the first guy you sleep with will likely not mean much to you and you want to just get it out the way (for experience reasons im guessing?).

As you get older you grow up, you learn more from life, in your teens people can be wreckless, make the most stupid choices, thus with most people theres more chance of a virgin sleeping with a guy and staying with them forever when they pass their teens and get into mid 20's, than there would be if they lost it as a teen


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

pete24 said:


> Lets face it, if a woman is over 20 and hasnt had sex shes either butt ugly and nobody would go near her, is fridgid as hell and hasnt even kissed a guy, or wants to wait for the right person. I used the latter to describe it because there are people here who havnt had sex and believe they are "ugly", so I dont want to cause offence by mentioning the obvious other reasons.


Then there are a lot of frigid, butt ugly girls on this website...



> I didnt say that was the only reason, theres others such as for fun, but as you even say yourself, the first guy you sleep with will likely not mean much to you and you want to just get it out the way (for experience reasons im guessing?).


Not for experience, but because when I find someone I actually like I want it to be good and mean something. Not painful and uncomfortable.



> As you get older you grow up, you learn more from life, in your teens people can be wreckless, make the most stupid choices, thus with most people theres more chance of a virgin sleeping with a guy and staying with them forever when they pass their teens and get into mid 20's, than there would be if they lost it as a teen


Or there are girls who think they're in love, girls who feel strongly about that boy/girl they're with and they have sex.

Stop generalizing. Your comments are still oversimplifying women and valuing something that's not at all telling of that person.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

AllToAll said:


> Then there are a lot of frigid, butt ugly girls on this website...
> 
> Not for experience, but because when I find someone I actually like I want it to be good and mean something. Not painful and uncomfortable.
> 
> ...


What the hell are you on about?? You talk the biggest pile of garbage I have ever heard on here (and there has been a few moody mares)

There are plenty of girls here that fall into that category... Both stem from confidence though. Many havent kissed a guy, many believe they are "ugly" thus it causes complications when getting close to people.

Why bother having sex at all or why not just pick anyone from the street if your assumption is you dont want your first to be your only guy and want to get it out the way. Pointless looking for someone to lose your virginity to who it means something with if your certain thats not going to be the only person you ever sleep with.

Its not a surprise many guys posting in this thread wouldnt want a virgin if thats the case with the impression you give off... That its about finding a guy you can lose it to, connect with for a while and then when you feel its time go off to find other guys.

Not really, none of my posts are generalisation bull crap, I try to speak from experience


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## meeps (Dec 5, 2011)

pete24 said:


> Why bother having sex at all or why not just pick anyone from the street if your assumption is you dont want your first to be your only guy and want to get it out the way. Pointless looking for someone to lose your virginity to who it means something with if your certain thats not going to be the only person you ever sleep with.


She said she wants it to be with someone she can at least trust, but not necessarily "the one". It isn't this black and white situation you've set up, where it's either some random off the street or her soul mate.



pete24 said:


> Its not a surprise many guys posting in this thread wouldnt want a virgin if thats the case with the impression you give off... That its about finding a guy you can lose it to, connect with for a while and then when you feel its time go off to find other guys.


There are plenty of people who don't go into a relationship with the expectation of being together forever. If they end up being compatible, then good for them, but it's not a horrible thing to want to experience sex even if you're not absolutely sure you want to spend your entire life with that person.

Basically, we don't think virginity should be saved for "the one", because it's not a sacred thing. It doesn't mean that it's _completely_ meaningless, just not _as_ fraught with meaning and moral implications, like you think it is.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

pete24 said:


> What the hell are you on about?? You talk the biggest pile of garbage I have ever heard on here (and there has been a few moody mares)


That's funny because I was thinking the exact same thing about you. How interesting!



> There are plenty of girls here that fall into that category... Both stem from confidence though. Many havent kissed a guy, many believe they are "ugly" thus it causes complications when getting close to people.


Oh you know us all so well, don't you... :roll



> Why bother having sex at all or why not just pick anyone from the street if your assumption is you dont want your first to be your only guy and want to get it out the way. Pointless looking for someone to lose your virginity to who it means something with if your certain thats not going to be the only person you ever sleep with.


Okay. I shall go outside and pick a man. Any man. That's exactly what I meant with my previous posts. Someone who isn't particularly special =/= someone I'm not attracted to/I don't care for at all.



> Its not a surprise many guys posting in this thread wouldnt want a virgin if thats the case with the impression you give off... That its about finding a guy you can lose it to, connect with for a while and then when you feel its time go off to find other guys.


I hope I can get every guy to dislike virgins one post at a time. :lol



> Not really, none of my posts are generalisation bull crap, I try to speak from experience


They are generalizations. I guess it's true; age doesn't really bring any wisdom.



Mimic said:


> You can call just about anything sexist when you pick it apart like that.


Why don't you go ahead and enlighten me then. How is a toe licking fetish sexist?



> Besides, you seem to be contradicting yourself. You say that this particular fetish reduces women to their sexuality, but from your other posts in this thread it appears that you don't have a problem with sex outside of a committed relationship (correct me if I'm wrong).


I don't, but that's not reducing a woman to her sexuality. That's a woman taking control over he sexuality.



> When you're having casual sex like that, how are both parties involved _not_ just being reduced to their sexuality? Sex like that is pure objectification.


No, they're taking autonomy over their sexuality whereas chastity (in women) has been dictated by religion and social dogmas. We are defined by that. Our virtues and goodness are measured by whether we've been with men or not.



> Don't misunderstand me though, I'm not against that. I'm merely trying to point out a contradiction.


You're mistaken, though. There is no contradiction. You're just unclear about what the it means for someone to be reduced to their sexuality.



> Objectification happens all the time, even you are guilty of it. Have you honestly never checked out an attractive guy before? And what would you do if a 500 pound man with boils all over his face asked you out? He could be the nicest guy in the world, but you would almost certainly be too turned off by his appearance to accept. In other words, you would be treating him like an object.


I know people objectify. You're missing the point here and drifted way off from the fetish to creating analogies that are nonsensical.



> You might argue that valuing a woman for her virginity is a worse kind of objectification than what I've described, but how would you even go about classifying such a thing? Who gets to decide what kind of objectification is bad and what kind is okay?


Once you have sex with a virgin, newsflash, she no won't be afterwards. She's useless to him. Is that a good thing? No. That's bad. See how easy that was?



> This may be true for some, but I would argue that a sense of ownership isn't what most men who want to have sex with virgins are looking for. I think most people who want that like the idea of "corrupting" the perceived innocence of a virgin. They may picture a sweet, innocent woman who never before had even _thought_ of anything sexual until finally succumbing to the man's advances and being introduced into a new world of sexuality.


Corrupting the virgin goes hand-in-hand with owning. It's like that's your product. You were the one who ruined her. That's power over property.



> *I'm sure you'll find that disgusting too, but I would at least find it less "sexist" than the reason you gave. *And of course it is an unrealistic fantasy, since virginity doesn't equal innocence.


I'm not sure to what you're referring.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

meeps said:


> She said she wants it to be with someone she can at least trust, but not necessarily "the one". It isn't this black and white situation you've set up, where it's either some random off the street or her soul mate.


He doesn't get it. He'd rather think he has women figured out. :roll


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## drMario (Sep 21, 2012)

once someone gives it to her good well anything would probably feel good for her but yeah its obvious its good ur not looking for an std but will being a virgin inhibit u from letting loose when having sex?


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

AllToAll said:


> He doesn't get it. He'd rather think he has women figured out. :roll


The point I was making was that shouldnt that be the aim of any relationship? You dont get with someone thinking its not gonna be your only relationship, surely you would want to give it a go, if it lasts then excellent, if not then wasnt meant to be?

You specifically said you dont want your first time to be your only time... Isnt that using the guy then? If you get with him and know you dont want to have sex exclusively with him forever


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## Koolio (Feb 25, 2012)

srschirm said:


> No, I've had too much validation from my previous experiences for this to be a problem.


Wait... So you're not a virgin? Yep, we got a major hypocrite over here. Before talking about how inportant a woman's "purity" is, maybe you should look at yourself since you seem to value it so much.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

I'd prefer if she was a virgin like me, I feel that would make it more special. Plus I am afraid of STDs as well. Perhaps it'd seem more romantic, like "D'aww, we were waiting for each other. " If she wasn't a virgin, not necessarily a deal breaker but I'd be sure to suggest we both get tested at the clinic before anything happens. And I'd prefer she didn't talk about past partners, or relationships period for that matter. I'd be like: "Quiet woman!--I don't care what so n so did in bed, just tell me what to do and I'll do it!" (as long as it's not too weird) *mumbles*


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## lightningstorm (Oct 10, 2012)

I am a virgin, and so if she is also a virgin like me, that would be awesome! We can both learn to have sex and spend time with each other, like everything else. I don't understand why guys look down on virgin girls. I personally like virign girls.


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## FeelNothing (Sep 25, 2012)

It doesn't matter at all.


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## Moongirlie (Jan 1, 2012)

meeps said:


> :sus :no


lol... its okay


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## Moongirlie (Jan 1, 2012)

the following heavily influence whether ur a virgin or not:
1- how old you are
2- how attractive you are 

i'm sure there are other factors, but these are primary, IMO...

the older u are , the less likely u are to be one. The more attractive you are the less likely u are to be one.

also, u will want someone similar to u...and end up with someone similar to u (under most circumstances) regardless of what u want

so, i would be very curious to know how old/attractive (i know this one's subjective... but only to a certain point) the people who posted here are.


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## meeps (Dec 5, 2011)

Moongirlie said:


> lol... its okay


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## Moongirlie (Jan 1, 2012)

meeps said:


>


im not entirely sure i made my response to ur comment very clear... but i was trying to explain that i understood ur frustration as i followed ur bac and forth..


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## meeps (Dec 5, 2011)

oh, I thought you were joining courtneyB and being condescending. my bad.


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## Moongirlie (Jan 1, 2012)

meeps said:


> oh, I thought you were joining courtneyB and being condescending. my bad.


lol.. np


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## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

As a 25-year-old male virgin, it's _almost_ inconceivable that I will ever have sex. However, if it ever somehow happened, I'd strongly prefer it to be with a virgin. I understand it could potentially be more awkward and... messy... than with a non-virgin who could hypothetically guide me along. However, I feel the degradation and embarrassment of the latter situation outweighs the benefits, and the likelihood of her not looking down on me almost nil. So, I most certainly do see virginity as a "special" quality in a girl; especially one around my own age. If you're interested in shy/unpopular men who haven't seen a lot of action themselves, I suspect most of them will view it as a positive thing. OTOH, if you're pining away for fratstars and life-of-the-party bros, well... I can understand your concerns on this front.


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