# Being an introvert in college.



## mapquest27 (Mar 31, 2011)

My first year of college was a complete disaster. I lived in the school's dorms for the first semester until I started to have suicidal thoughts and had to be temporary hospitalized.

It's not that I didn't like/want to be at college, but all the students, classes, teachers, drama, money issues, etc just got the best of me. I became terrible depressed/anxious because I had no "me" time where I could just slow down my brain and relax.

The second semester I went back to living at home with my parents. This allowed me to have alone time to study, relax, and just be my introverted self.

Now, being a sophomore at a university, I'm still living at home and commuting to school, but the pressure I felt the first semester is starting to come back.

In any social situation or in class, I am always yawning, not interested, or interrupting others in a conversation. It's not like I'm an ignorant/selfish person, but when others are talking to me I just get in this "mood" where I want to drop everything and sleep or go in a room and lock myself up.

How can I succeed in life being introverted in an extroverted world? This "personality" prevents me from making personal/professional relationships that are ESSENTIAL to getting where I want to be. I can accept the way I am, but I can't reach my career/life goals this way.

How can I have a romantic partner, best friend or colleague(s) being the way I am? Nobody finds it attraction when your always alone, anti-social, or not "with the crowd".

Are there any introverts that are currently attending a university/college or did in the past? If so, do you have any recommendations for a fellow introvert? :roll


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## chris11757 (Dec 20, 2010)

Just try to find someone in your major and become friends with them.


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## MrQuiet76 (Aug 26, 2011)

Hey!... I was an introvert at college and trust me I know how tough it can be 

I spent my freshman year sitting in my dorm all the time if I wasn't in class or at the cafeteria... when the weekends hit, I would go home ASAP every single weekend since my house was close to my school.

This continued through most of my sophomore year and into my junior year... but during this time, I started trying to take strides to battle my SA. It was very tough at first, but you just gotta stick with it.

Some of the things I did included simply trying to find people to do homework with in the library or something... then I would try to ask people in class to eat lunch with them... I was so nervous and it felt extremly unnatural for quite a while, but I did it anyway, and eventually I met some of the best friends I've ever had... and go figure, most of them were the most extroverted people I've ever met! I never thought they'd have any interest in an introvert.

Once you put yourself out there and find the right people, you WILL find friends, and once you find the right friends, it doesn't matter that you're introverted anymore because they will like you for who you are... at this point you will comfortable when you are in an introverted mood and just need some time away from society, and you kind still find some pleasure with your friends... when i'm with my friends, I still notice how different I am from them in a lot of ways, but I don't worry about it anymore because I know that they still like me

So just remember.... there are people who will still like you for who you are even if you aren't "with the crowd".... you can make it as an introvert!


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## THEuTASTEsOFeINKd (Apr 10, 2010)

MrQuiet76 said:


> Some of the things I did included simply trying to find people to do homework with in the library or something... then I would try to ask people in class to eat lunch with them... I was so nervous and it felt extremly unnatural for quite a while, but I did it anyway, and eventually I met some of the best friends I've ever had... and go figure, most of them were the most extroverted people I've ever met! I never thought they'd have any interest in an introvert.


:clap That's awesome.

To OP I've done the same thing. Went away to college and lived in dorm then moved back home and started commuting to school. I got straight As the first year and then after that started getting the same symptoms you did and then ****ed everything up and became a D student (now a drop out :/ ).

I can't say I have any advice on the social aspect but I would definetly tell you to stay focused on your studies and if you don't make any friends at least keep your grades up.


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## gomenne (Oct 3, 2009)

I took 4 classes this semester, 2 of them are online :clap
You would think sa would somehow start fading away with all the years I've been to college and all the experience I've had (only bad experience), but no it's getting worse to the point of taking online classes so I wouldn't attend class, and to isolate myself more.
Being an introvert in college is no fun, you eat alone (that is if you even eat in between classes), study alone and of course you would fail because you can't do everything alone, sit in the back of every class you have, never talk to anybody and no one talks to you, never know what to do or where to go when you have 10-15 minutes break between each class ...
I'm thinking to drop out this year, I cant take it.


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## Aphexfan (Jan 12, 2011)

Im taking 5 classes this semester puke) and being an introvert at college has just been absolutely soul crushing (and thats me putting it lightly) Im a senior at college and Ive only made 1 friend the entire time Ive been here, I can count the times Ive actually eaten in the cafe at our school on one hand since I cant bare to eat alone :?, I thought I would of gotten over my "quiet kid in the back" phase but I still feel like Im as much of an awkward/emotional mess as I was back in middle school


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## smarksman (Sep 11, 2012)

aphexfan, I know what you mean. I feel the same way. I have talked to lots of people but havent found any real friends. When I was working at a real job things were fine. When I started going back to college I felt like I was in high school again. Everyone knows each other and I feel like I dont fit in with any group. I just hate going to class sometimes.


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

It's exhausting.


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## Propaganda (Oct 26, 2010)

Find other introverts... a challenge to say the least. Introverts are introverts' best friends, we know each other and don't both another.

Join a club... there are many clubs that are not full of bombastic extroverts running around like dogs looking for a bone.

For me, after two classes, which is 9:00 to 1:15, almost the rest of the day is shot. I shut down and need to fall into an escape to recharge. (video games, reddit, etc...) I have yet to really figure out best practices, other than recognizing when you need/want to be alone and be so.

Yes, you can be successful in an extroverted word. There are a few decent books on this very subject. It comes with practice. When you know you will be in a situation which requires extrovert actions, prepare, chargeup, play the role, then GTFO and recharge.

Also, when it comes to a relationship, we introverts do have less ocean to fish from, however, we have incredibly satisfying relationships which are built over long stretches of time. Now, I have difficultly myself finding dates, mostly because my 'arrogant' attitude. (which is completely not true). The trick is to build friends, introverted friend, and date their friends. Dont be discouraged to quick, it's a slow, and painful, process.


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## Micronian (Nov 11, 2004)

mapquest27 said:


> My first year of college was a complete disaster. I lived in the school's dorms for the first semester until I started to have suicidal thoughts and had to be temporary hospitalized.
> 
> It's not that I didn't like/want to be at college, but all the students, classes, teachers, drama, money issues, etc just got the best of me. I became terrible depressed/anxious because I had no "me" time where I could just slow down my brain and relax.
> 
> ...


it gets better/quieter in later years. The library stats to become your best friend.

school-wise, if you can't deal with being in lectures you might try seeing the professor during office hours. There, you can ask him questions about the topic and engage in some conversation or detail that you couldn't put together.

From my experience, lectures had almost always been a snoozefest. Now, as a teacher, I realize it's because sometimes there is so much material to cover that there's just no time to talk about the more interesting stuff.
But if you see the professor during his own time, you'll see they have a contagious passion for what they do and what they teach, and will make you more interested in getting involved.


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## DenizenOfDespair (Aug 13, 2012)

Being an introvert hasn't affected me too much at school since I approach school in a business like fashion, I'm not interested in befriending the people there, I have my own friends, I just want to get the degree and get this phase of my life over with.


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