# Still have no friends in college [a lot of venting]



## crybaby97 (Jan 14, 2017)

I'm a sophomore at a large university and I've been finding it hard to make friends. I've been trying to push myself out of my comfort zone every now and again, but no luck so far. :serious:

- Before I even started college, I posted on our class Facebook page asking if anyone had a similar major or career goals as me, and even made it a point to message those that liked or commented on it. However, those convos died down after a while and I didn't follow up with them because I assumed they didn't like talking to me.
- I've talked to some people in my smaller classes for most of the quarter but couldn't muster enough courage to ask for their contact info so haven't seen them since then.
- I've rushed a few pre-professional co-ed frats alone (and gotten rejected lmao). I was gonna rush a sorority and made it halfway through recruitment before I realized that it wasn't for me; the sororities that wanted me back weren't as focused on school and grades as I was. But I wanted a shortcut to a social life and that seemed like the best way to do so at the time. I still kinda wished it had worked out.
- I've gotten a few numbers and Facebooks, and ended up texting one person and FB messaging another person, but once again, those convos died down after a while.

I feel so discouraged from not being able to develop a single friendship. I remember people making friend groups the first week of college, or even finding a new significant other. I spent all my time either alone in my room or failing at social interactions lol. I hate myself for failing this badly.


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## Owlbear (Dec 3, 2015)

Did you try student activity clubs?


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## crybaby97 (Jan 14, 2017)

I tried one club but got discouraged very quickly because I only started attending meetings in the middle of the quarter so it seemed like everyone already knew each other. I'm looking into clubs to join this quarter (just started), hopefully I'll have a somewhat better experience this time around :/


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## chessman6500 (Sep 5, 2013)

Hello! Thanks for your kind contribution to the forums! We really appreciate it!


So you say you have an issue with making friends in college, and that you have broken out of your comfort zone, only to find that it still doesn't work? Well its a combination of two different things: bad luck, and peoples unwillingness to accept a person for who they are, a lot of them are more extroverted so they likely think because you aren't, you cannot join them. Well to tell u the truth, I had the same problems before transitioning to online school, but with me I bounced back and forth between social groups and tried to find one that was best to fit into. Alas, it didn't work out too well. I ended up resorting to focusing on learning and my schoolwork, and that is what you should try to do. If you want to enhance your social life, then by all means keep trying. It might be easier to get to know people in clubs in which the people in the club have similar interests to you, a lot of times it makes getting to know someone a heck of a lot easier because you know what to talk about right from the get-go. I would also try joining the clubs as soon as they begin if possible, otherwise most people have already gotten to know each other and your left out, you also have to try to attend as many meetings as you can. If you still are having trouble getting to know people after that, then try to focus on yourself and your academics. Remember, you are stronger than they are, they are weaker than you because they decided not to become your friends. You shouldn't pursue people like that. 


I hope that whatever you do to try to get to know people works out, but there is only so much you can do as a person to increase your social life. Sometimes we have to face the notion that there simply isn't anything we can do and we have to live with what has been given to us, and while that is upsetting, you must not be the only person going through this.

Best of luck!


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## crybaby97 (Jan 14, 2017)

Thanks for your reply!

I'm going to club meetings and I am finding it hard to make friends still because most people already know each other. :/ I've been trying to focus on my academics but it's gotten to the point where my SA is making me so depressed. I have a hard time motivating myself to do anything nowadays.


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## Vladislavkari (Feb 8, 2017)

I really admire the effort your making. I was be waaaay to shy to even consider messaging people and joining clubs and stuff. But you seem to be handling it pretty well. Sometimes it just takes time. Mostly; just enjoy your own company and people will tend to naturally come into your live when your investing yourself into your own hobbies and stuff. Im really proud of the efforts your are making. That takes courage.


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## Equine24 (Nov 13, 2016)

I can't make friends who are around my age or younger because to put bluntly; they're immature. The only ones I attract are the ones who have no idea what it feels like, so they pity me for fun.


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## crybaby97 (Jan 14, 2017)

Vladislavkari said:


> I really admire the effort your making. I was be waaaay to shy to even consider messaging people and joining clubs and stuff. But you seem to be handling it pretty well. Sometimes it just takes time. Mostly; just enjoy your own company and people will tend to naturally come into your live when your investing yourself into your own hobbies and stuff. Im really proud of the efforts your are making. That takes courage.


Thank you! Sometimes I feel like I'm failing left and right lol. Guess I just gotta shut out those negative thoughts.


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## crybaby97 (Jan 14, 2017)

Equine24 said:


> I can't make friends who are around my age or younger because to put bluntly; they're immature. The only ones I attract are the ones who have no idea what it feels like, so they pity me for fun.


That sucks. Are you still in school? Because I'm sure there are some intellectually-geared clubs that more mature people tend to join.


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## That Random Guy (Jan 31, 2015)

*Hm...*

At least you're actively trying.

I'm doing literally nothing to get friends. I make small talk when I can, but I never really have the opportunity for anything aside from that.

I've never considered anything with frats or sororities, but you actually tried that. I think that's a real good step up.

I've been considering joining a club or something, but now that I'm this late in the game, I don't know how well I'd balance that.

Here's to both of us finding some friends soon!

Good luck!


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