# I'm the biggest loner at school



## awkwardxteen (Oct 23, 2013)

So I've been having a really tough time At school recently.. My only friend left me so now I spend all my break times alone in the school library. Everyone hates me and I feel like such a loser. My SA makes it hard for me to start conversations so I don't talk much. I hate being a loner. The other day I had such a horrible time that I self harmed at school. I sat in the library and used a pen to unscrew the blades from a pencil sharpener, then I went into a cubicle and slit my wrists. The bleeding was so bad that I skived PE. I thought someone would notice I wasn't there but no one did. It just shows how invisible I am. My physics teacher saw the cuts on my arm, and he just stared at them really weirdly. Other people have seen them, and they've layed off bullying me a bit. My worst class is PE. Everyone in my class hates me along with the teacher. In one lesson we were doing trampolining and I refused to stand there jumping up and down, surrounded by people laughing at me. The teacher shouted at me in front of everyone. As if all this isn't enough, I already dreading next year- my younger sister will be coming up to my school. Unlike me she's popular and has lots of friends so I'd hate for her to see me sat alone in the library. The only thing stopping me from killing myself is my family.


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## Scarface69 (Nov 4, 2013)

i have no friends (or no real friends)

its much better.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Your teen years are tough. I was a loner as well, during a period of my high school years.

It _does_ get better, though.


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## eukz (Nov 3, 2013)

Most teenagers are mean, chaotic and so confused, that sometimes it's just not worth attempting to make friends. You can see that even the 'popular' kids suffer because of their relationships, so why complicate about those kind of people?0

I'm not telling you to relax about it, but the odds of making friends after school are higher. Most adults are stable, nice, and specially not openly jealous.


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## Wulfgar (Aug 23, 2013)

its very likely that you get picked on and/or left out because your pretty and other people (mainly other girls) are jealous...thats how it is in highschool.....there's kind of a food chain, so to speak, and in some situations it might feel like your a fox surrounded by circling wolves trying to hunt you......all you're doing by cutting is making yourself look weaker and eventually all the people picking on you and putting you down will become the LEAST of your problems because YOU will become your own worst enemy if you continue to harm yourself...and its not going to make anything better, it'll just make you easier prey..and then all the other girls might eventually start saying stuff like "omg look! Thats the weird girl that cuts herself" ..is that what you want?...im assuming not, so quit while your ahead unless you want to make yourself MORE of a loner..

anyway, eventually things will get better but you have to work to MAKE them better

but first you should calm down and realize that highschool just might not be your time to shine yet...and thats actually really common for alot of people....but then they go on to do bigger and better things AFTER highschool and into their adulthood....but anyway, I understand how much highschool sucks but try to make the best of it while your there because for the time being there's not exactly any better solution.....and cutting yourself DEFINETLY isnt a solution at ALL...it'll just make things worse so you really need to stop that sh!t

stop sitting around feeling like everyone hates you and join a club at school or get yourself involved in something where there are plenty of other people whom you might have things in common with...give yourself a reason to feel BETTER instead of sitting around alone thinking up reasons to feel WORSE...because the more you do that, the deeper you'll be digging yourself into a hole...and eventually it gets to the point where NO ONE can reach in and pull you out...NO ONE..

but if you want to continue wallowing in life then go ahead...see how far that gets you -_-


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## awkwardxteen (Oct 23, 2013)

porpoisely said:


> I can relate to your post so much
> 
> I also used to have just one friend, but she stopped being friends with me near the start of this year. So I have been a complete loner for about 1 year now, and still have a whole year of high school to go, ****.
> 
> ...


. Aw I hate lunch too, in our library we' re not allowed to eat either so I starve all day lol. Do u like anime? ( I noticed ur avatar was watamote which is one of my favourite animes )


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## awkwardxteen (Oct 23, 2013)

porpoisely said:


> Yeah lunch is my least favourite part of the day, everyone else with friends loves it though, obviously :/
> 
> Watamote is actually the only anime I've ever watched, because I heard it was about a girl with social anxiety so I thought it'd be interesting to see. It's funny but also too relatable.
> 
> Are there any animes you'd recommend?


aha yeah im basically the IRL version of watamtoe hehe, and id recommend Lucky star, attack on titan, haruhi suzuyima, K-ON, clannad, bleach, death note , and theres also this website called crunchyroll that has loads of anime to watch for free which is cool


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## SupahNinjaCat (Nov 2, 2013)

Same here for two years till now
and last year I used to cut myself and at that time my christian teacher asked me why I have a scratch on my wrist and I lied that I accidentally cut myself but currently I have one friend but everyone still defines me as a loner at school


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## awkwardxteen (Oct 23, 2013)

SupahNinjaCat said:


> Same here for two years till now
> and last year I used to cut myself and at that time my christian teacher asked me why I have a scratch on my wrist and I lied that I accidentally cut myself but currently I have one friend but everyone still defines me as a loner at school


Yeah I kind of have 1 friend to talk to, and i talk to people in my classes, but I have no one at break. I regret cutting myself, I hope none of the other teachers see.. x


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## UberPickle (Nov 12, 2013)

awkwardxteen said:


> So I've been having a really tough time At school recently.. My only friend left me so now I spend all my break times alone in the school library. Everyone hates me and I feel like such a loser. My SA makes it hard for me to start conversations so I don't talk much. I hate being a loner. The other day I had such a horrible time that I self harmed at school.


It's unlikely everyone hates you. Probably just three or four people. Most people are too involved in their own lives to be able to divert interest elsewhere, even if you're bleeding profusely from both wrists. If you scotch tape some twenty dollar bills to your arms, then they might start to care until they get their money. But seriously, I hope you have someone helping you with your problems. If you must harm someone, make it Rush Limbaugh, via online diatribes.


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## Dogzrunning (Oct 9, 2013)

I left high school because of SA message me if you want:3

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


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## ZADY (Nov 11, 2013)

You should just ignore them and it's actually better to have no friends than fake friends.


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## masterridley (Jan 20, 2007)

awkwardxteen said:


> So I've been having a really tough time At school recently.. My only friend left me so now I spend all my break times alone in the school library. Everyone hates me and I feel like such a loser. My SA makes it hard for me to start conversations so I don't talk much. I hate being a loner. The other day I had such a horrible time that I self harmed at school. I sat in the library and used a pen to unscrew the blades from a pencil sharpener, then I went into a cubicle and slit my wrists. The bleeding was so bad that I skived PE. I thought someone would notice I wasn't there but no one did. It just shows how invisible I am. My physics teacher saw the cuts on my arm, and he just stared at them really weirdly. Other people have seen them, and they've layed off bullying me a bit. My worst class is PE. Everyone in my class hates me along with the teacher. In one lesson we were doing trampolining and I refused to stand there jumping up and down, surrounded by people laughing at me. The teacher shouted at me in front of everyone. As if all this isn't enough, I already dreading next year- my younger sister will be coming up to my school. Unlike me she's popular and has lots of friends so I'd hate for her to see me sat alone in the library. The only thing stopping me from killing myself is my family.


Have you talked to anyone about this? If your parents won't understand,
then maybe you could visit a school therapist. Saving up money and
visiting a therapist on my own, without telling anyone, was the best
(and bravest) decision I've ever made.


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## Lisa darlin (Oct 30, 2013)

dont worry...
i know how u feel.
i know how it feels not to get noticed AT ALL.
i mean its like im invisible with my misery and silence...
its so painfull..
no one cares...


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## newyorkgirl (Nov 18, 2013)

People tell me the teenage years are always the worst and that it is only a tiny dust in your life. Which means that it will always pass. You won't stay in high school forever, just hang on and go through all your lessons without worrying whatever they say. There's a fantastic world out there waiting for you in the future. But to go there, you must go through your teenage years. Be yourself and love the body that God gave you.


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## NeverendingCycle (Oct 14, 2013)

Back in highschool I was exactly in the same situation, except for one thing: I didn't even have sibling. I was *completely* alone. That was the most ****ty feeling in the world, for four years! Oh, how I hated high school...

The good thing is: It does get better (in almost all cases)! So hang in there, you have *everything* to live for! If I could do it, so can you!


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## honuhoni18 (Nov 17, 2013)

I know how you feel. I'm the loner at my school too. Everyone thinks I'm a complete weirdo, and doesn't really care what happens to me. I don't start conversations, and some days I just don't even bother talking. But I promise you it will get better. I've been told the best friends a person makes, is in college. Just hang in there, and please don't cut yourself. You're only hurting yourself more. And kids aren't going to like you anymore for it either. Just hang in there for college. Try finding a subject you like, such as history or art, or something and make it a point to look forward to that class every day. And during lunch? Bring out a good book, or play solitaire or something. Eventually someone will be curious and ask you what you're reading, or if they could play a card game with you. Don't fret, because life isn't as horrible as it seems, and no matter how you feel, you are dearly loved.


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

Why not just go sit at a friends table? Literally just sit down, it's so easy  
Also if that's you in your picture, why are the guys not all over you? You're beautiful, I'm sure you've got a few admirers that would love to have lunch with you


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## Neph (Nov 25, 2013)

porpoisely said:


> I feel painfully visible and entirely ignored


You remind me of me.


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