# Girls have you been asked out before?



## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

I want to see if it's true that girls who are shy can still get dates. It seems to be the case. Almost every post by a female says they've been out on at least one date or have even lost their virginity. As long as you put a little effort in your appearance, you will be approached. Guys will want to ask you simply because you have a vagina. I envy that. I'm not sure why you are going out with the douchebag outgoing guys and not the nice SA guys, who have more in common with you.


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## kj87 (Sep 30, 2012)

Yeah but they also have to put up with pervs trying to show them penis pictures 

All in all I feel bad for women. They have to deal with really gross/stupid men and I think they have it worse than guys do.


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## Unknown88 (Aug 21, 2012)

Well yes, I do get asked out. No, I don't go out with douchebag guys. My ex is a d**k but he was more socially awkward and unconfident than I am.



kj87 said:


> Yeah but they also have to put up with pervs trying to show them penis pictures
> 
> All in all I feel bad for women. They have to deal with really gross/stupid men and I think they have it worse than guys do.


This is true, I don't mind being approached by strangers but some get really creepy. I have also had the random penis pictures sent to me by weirdos online, and had people touch me inappropriately IRL. It is not flattering.


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## pineapplebun (Oct 25, 2011)

I don't think just because a guy has SA that he's suddenly a nice guy. In some cases it seems to breed bitterness/resentment, leading to almost a hatred of females or the very least, generalizations that women like douche bags. Just because a guy believes he's a nice guy doesn't make him actually a nice guy. Outgoing extroverted guys can be just as nice or nicer. And I think just because someone has SA doesn't mean I would have more in common with them. 

Haha luckily I haven't had the experience of someone showing me penis pictures. But yes, some guys really do come off as creepy. It's been covered before, like the ones who care a lot about a girl's virginity. Or for me, if a guy has 'only a thing for Asian girls' it makes me want to run for the hills. Both cases really.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

Yes I have.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Yes.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

No. But I was asked for sex.


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## sansd (Mar 22, 2006)

- my ex wanted to date me
- two very pushy guys who came off like they were trying to be PUAs asked me out when I was 19-20
- one young, bad smelling, touchy, space-invading guy who supposedly tried to ask out pretty much every girl and was commonly referred to as a "creep" asked me to eat with him, repeatedly 
- one seemingly nice, respectful, non-pushy random stranger ran after me to tell me I was absolutely beautiful and ask me to lunch
- a guy on the bus who'd started asking me about my voice recorder (thinking it was an mp3 player) once asked me if I wanted to go get coffee and see a film with him because his friends weren't available, if you want to count that
- a guy in his 40s I barely understood most of the time who'd played piano for me several times so I could practice singing asked me about going to dinner or seeing a movie with him

That's all, over the past eleven years. I wanted to go out with none of these people. Even the couple who didn't come off badly, I didn't know well enough to have any interest in dating.


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## sansd (Mar 22, 2006)

Freiheit said:


> No. But I was asked for sex.


Oh yeah, and some guy came up to me while I was in the computer lab at school and said, "Excuse me, can I get some *****?" How do you react to that?


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

carambola said:


> Oh yeah, and some guy came up to me while I was in the computer lab at school and said, "Excuse me, can I get some *****?" How do you react to that?


I wonder if that's ever worked for him. >_>


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

Canucklehead said:


> I wonder if that's ever worked for him. >_>


He must've been confused, it always works at Petsmart. *rimshot*


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

Two guys asked me to be their girlfriend and three guys asked me out on a date.


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## litchee (May 8, 2007)

Two people have been interested in me with or without admitting, but they never asked me out so I guess that doesn't count.

A pedophile wanted to see a movie with me... He started talking to me while waiting for our bus to arrive. I was 18 then, but it was still traumatising because I was heading to school that day and he saw me get off the bus and therefore knew which school I went to...
An employee at the local market tried to ask me if I wanted to get coffee with him. This was the first time anyone ever actually asked me out and it took me a really long time to catch on. I thought he was trying to _sell_ me coffee at first. xD
I signed a petition and donated money for some cause while walking around the streets downtown. The guy taking signatures said I had an interesting "look" (I have a mixed ethnicity) and that I was pretty and asked if he could give me his number. I didn't take it.
A guy from school asked me to the movies but I am not sure if this is platonic or romantic yet. I said yes.

I've had a boyfriend before, but he never asked me out. We were friends then suddenly became a couple.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

SilentLuke said:


> I want to see if it's true that girls who are shy can still get dates. It seems to be the case. Almost every post by a female says they've been out on at least one date or have even lost their virginity. As long as you put a little effort in your appearance, you will be approached. Guys will want to ask you simply because you have a vagina. I envy that.* I'm not sure why you are going out with the douchebag outgoing guys and not the nice SA guys, who have more in common with you*.


Oh. So just because I've been asked out it means that I like douchebags who I don't have anything in common with(unlike the "good", socially anxious guys who obviously will share my every interest by default). Kewl.


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## SoWrongItsRight (May 9, 2012)

Yes, not as much now that I have a ring on my finger


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

probably offline said:


> Oh. So just because I've been asked out it means that I like douchebags who I don't have anything in common with(unlike the "good", socially anxious guys who obviously will share my every interest by default). Kewl.


I didn't even notice he wrote that.

The one guy who asked me out like a year ago (my, time flies) was quiet and reserved nerdy type, not the loud douchebag type at all.


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## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

Guys in Phoenix seem to be pretty blunt about it. "Hey wanna meet up in my truck after class?" At least you know what they're in for from the start. No I don't say yes btw


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## CoastalSprite (Sep 8, 2011)

pineapplebun said:


> Just because a guy believe he's a nice guy doesn't make him actually a nice guy. Outgoing extroverted guys can be just as nice or nicer. And I think just because someone has SA doesn't mean I would have more in common with them.


I agree with this.. Some of the most extroverted guys I've met have also been some of the kindest.

Discounting old guys and guys asking for sex, I've only been asked out twice. One was an extrovert and the other was somewhere in between. Both were very nice people.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

Not once. Doesn't really bother me too much.

...Okay yeah it does a little self esteem wise, but not thaaaaat much.


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## vanishingpt (Mar 9, 2012)

Yes shy girls can still be asked out on dates LOL. I think to an extent that is true, if you put some effort into your appearance, guys will find you cute and want to talk to you. And hey, not all of us girls choose douchebag guys LOL.


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## hydinthebasmnt (Aug 26, 2012)

Yes, a few times. I could never go through with it though. They thought I was stuck up and full of myself because I said no. If they only knew.


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## Stilla (May 13, 2009)

Last time was a couple weeks ago, accidentally gave him the wrong number. Yes accidentally. I was so shocked I sort of zoned out and forgot it. 
Even though I got his number as well it actually got lost IN the phone somewhere.

It really sounds like I'm lying but I'm not. :lol


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## Linlinh (Sep 6, 2011)

I've been asked out once by a very outgoing guy. I said yes.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

Yeah. I didn't even need to put any effort into my appearance. It's annoying though, even when I tell them I have a boyfriend they still ignore that fact and pursue me. Meh. One reason why I'm so wary of making friends with random strangers these days xD


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## DontDoSadness (Jan 12, 2011)

I got asked out many times in high school but I don't really count that since I wasn't mentally ready or mature enough to have a boyfriend at the time and the fact I had/have selective mutism around guys. Since then I've never been asked out although I may have been eventually if I didn't stop going to a non all girls school.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

I've been asked out a few times. Perhaps about five times in the last few years, so don't get too excited. :roll

_"I'm not sure why you are going out with the douchebag outgoing guys and not the nice SA guys, who have more in common with you."_
This couldn't be further from the truth. Not all outgoing guys are "douchebags." Don't let your resentment allow you to jump to conclusions. I also don't have a lot in common with a guy simply because he has SAD. We just have a disorder in common...


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

Freiheit said:


> No. But I was asked for sex.


How ? And did he wanted to pay 

I am loveshy guy and read about some experiment a guy did in asking 100 women for sex. Some said yes, some gave their number.... I cannot even ask for a date, but wonder if it would harden myself to aks for sex for rejections to normal aprroaches. What do girls think?


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Guys in Phoenix seem to be pretty blunt about it. "Hey wanna meet up in my truck after class?" At least you know what they're in for from the start. No I don't say yes btw


So if they guy is super humorous, super confident,rich and looks like J.Depp (etc) would anyone say "yes". Probably not, cause women need some time to warm up anyway, right?


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

CoastalSprite said:


> I agree with this.. Some of the most extroverted guys I've met have also been some of the kindest.
> 
> Discounting old guys and guys asking for sex, I've only been asked out twice. One was an extrovert and the other was somewhere in between. Both were very nice people.


So where and how do ask these people ? Any details? And how would they be succesful? They seem to be quite confident guys (no SA for sure) if they ask for sex directly (I envy them). I saw it only once myself in clinic I was. There was a guy saying to the girl "Hey X, you look good today, I want to sleep with you". She was confused for a moment, then smiled and went her way.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

Nexus777 said:


> How ? And did he wanted to pay
> 
> I am loveshy guy and read about some experiment a guy did in asking 100 women for sex. Some said yes, some gave their number.... I cannot even ask for a date, but wonder if it would harden myself to aks for sex for rejections to normal aprroaches. What do girls think?


It was someone I thought was my friend and then they got all nasty. If someone random asked me this out of nowhere I'd be pretty insulted.


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## Wurli (Sep 15, 2012)

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Guys in Phoenix seem to be pretty blunt about it. "Hey wanna meet up in my truck after class?" At least you know what they're in for from the start. No I don't say yes btw


:lol This is soooo true!! I do a lot of people-watching on campus and I see this sort of thing happen all the time. Its too bad I don't have the cajones for it, you'd be surprised how often it works.

Sorry couldn't stop myself from commenting on this even though the thread doesn't pertain to me at all. I have been hit on by a couple of random gay guys before though if that counts.

EDIT: By the way, you wouldn't by any chance be interested in meeting up later, not in my truck, but in my tiny volkswagen would you?


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## chickenfett (Jun 2, 2011)

On a somewhat tangantially related note, I often tried to make friends with people (men and women, "guys and girls") and get rejected almost always. Like this week I decided to go skating (it's an annual tradation) but for the first time ever I decided to invite people and not go alone. One person said yes and that she would bring her friend. I was so excited! Then, about two hours before, she texted me to thoroughly explain that this "wasn't a date". 
I have asked out girls on dates before with mixed (actually, pretty bad) results. Most people tell me it's because I'm awkward and unattractive. Having said that, I have never done anything even near the craziness I have read on this read. Or at least I don't think I have.
But still, I feel really put down when I try to make a friend and they don't even seem to care about my feelings.


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

Wurli said:


> EDIT: By the way, you wouldn't by any chance be interested in meeting up later, not in my truck, but in my tiny volkswagen would you?


i could offer a VW too hehe  But rather my comfortable room with 

Yeah in the nets we are real bold it seems.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Nexus777 said:


> How ? And did he wanted to pay
> 
> I am loveshy guy and read about some experiment a guy did in asking 100 women for sex. Some said yes, some gave their number.... I cannot even ask for a date, but wonder if it would harden myself to aks for sex for rejections to normal aprroaches. What do girls think?


I used to know some d-bag guy that I worked construction with a awhile back. His name was "Rocky" ( no joke lol ) He would walk up to girls and ask them if they if they were down to **** and surprisingly it worked for him sometimes. I actually saw him do it once at a bar after work and the girl gave him her number.

I would never have the courage to do that and I would feel like a disgusting creep if I did. I would also be rejected anyway. I just don't know how that kind of stuff works for some but not others.


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## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

Wurli said:


> :lol This is soooo true!! I do a lot of people-watching on campus and I see this sort of thing happen all the time. Its too bad I don't have the cajones for it, you'd be surprised how often it works.
> 
> Sorry couldn't stop myself from commenting on this even though the thread doesn't pertain to me at all. I have been hit on by a couple of random gay guys before though if that counts.
> 
> EDIT: By the way, you wouldn't by any chance be interested in meeting up later, not in my truck, but in my tiny volkswagen would you?


VW might get a little cramped, truck's sounding better at this point lol



Nexus777 said:


> i could offer a VW too hehe  But rather my comfortable room with
> 
> Yeah in the nets we are real bold it seems.


xD Oh no! Please tell me you guys wouldn't?

Yes, I am _very_ surprised that this works sometimes. But then again, maybe not?


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

If we do it int he real world  

I told some sex things to girls I knew in the past, like nice *** (yes, thats really stupid and sexist), but she didn´t care - it seemed to show I had sexuelinterest in her - later we almost kissed - but I ****ed it up as always - anyhow in theory she would have thought what an ******* - but seems some (most) girls really like the bad guys (or macho however you call em and the rich/famous ones obviously). Seems no stereotype but true, yes the nice and attractive ones will also get their share. But the ugly and shy ones ? Rarely, eh?


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## Wurli (Sep 15, 2012)

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> VW might get a little cramped, truck's sounding better at this point lol


Not to worry, the seats are adjustable. 



A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Yes, I am _very_ surprised that this works sometimes. But then again, maybe not?


Eh, nothing surprises me anymore. People are strange when you're a stranger.


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## zant (Nov 25, 2012)

Seems as though girls have it much easier. As a guy, girls just don't approach 90% of the time, especially when you're like me, and SA prevents me from asking anyone.


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## catcharay (Sep 15, 2011)

Yes, a mature man in a black suit approached me and said I was beautiful. We exchanged numbers and ended on a coffee date.

At the time I had no form of interaction with guys lol..so maybe I got sucked in hehe. He was sort of attractive though..

Overall I think shy girls do have it easier than shy guys in that regard..


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

catcharay said:


> Yes, an mature man in a black suit approached me and said I was beautiful. We exchanged numbers and ended on a coffee date.
> 
> At the time I had no form of interaction with guys lol..so maybe I got sucked in hehe. He was sort of attractive though..
> 
> Overall I think shy girls do have it easier than shy guys in that regard..


Sounds dubious, black suit, mature...... did he show his xxxx, too 

Can the girls here more describe how the men approach them, like this dubious man in the suit. And why was he attractive ? Looks ?

Yeah, surely girls have it easier here, but that´s life. We guys need to live with it anyway.. But the cool guys have no problems with it anyway.

I wonder if some girls here would like photos of MY VW ? it´s old, but still quite nice I think: It´s model Golf3. Means the best form the series. Doesn´t that sound promising ? :teeth


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## evginmubutu (Sep 12, 2011)

Yeah shy girls will generally receive more interest than shy guys. Suck it up princess. You expect pretty girl's to throw themselves at your feet? If there is no initiative from you than you have nothing to complain about and are just blaming other people for your own shortcomings. Sorry but it's the cold hard truth. 

By the way bitterness is never attractive.


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## Karuni (Jun 26, 2011)

I never got asked out until I joined a dating site where I went on dates with two guys. One is now my boyfriend. Until I had the random impulse to make a profile three months ago, guys had never paid attention to me. :/

I was actually shocked to get any messages at all, and I still have a lot of insecurities about myself. Relationships don't automatically fix your problems.


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## catcharay (Sep 15, 2011)

Nexus777 said:


> Sounds dubious, black suit, mature...... did he show his xxxx, too
> 
> Can the girls here more describe how the men approach them, like this dubious man in the suit. And why was he attractive ? Looks ?


I don't know what showing xxx means...

Well sitting in a refuge in the city, I noticed a man in a suit on the mobile and then suddenly he noticed me and looked piqued with interest.

When he got off the phone..He asked me where I was from? "It's just that you're beautiful"..then gave me his number..(oh yeah he didn't ask for my number)

I texted him and we arranged a coffee date. He told me he wanted to have coffee with me on the day but he had business stuff..


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

catcharay said:


> I don't know what showing xxx means...
> 
> Well sitting in a refuge in the city, I noticed a man in a suit on the mobile and then suddenly he noticed me and looked piqued with interest.
> 
> ...


Forget about the xxx only a lame joke.

So he smiled and looked attractive? And after this short convo you texted him back already. Seems rare. Would you have given out your own number, too? And you would date the guy regulary? Are you often approached ? Did he clarify what he found beautiful? I read that is a killer to just say something like your beautiful or you have pretty eyes to girls, cause you need to specify certain details that are important to her...


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## pittstonjoma (Nov 10, 2003)

Only once. I had to do a lot of asking to find someone. My boyfriend is glad I asked him, because he was afraid to ask me.


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## achelle92 (Feb 27, 2012)

I have been asked out plenty of times. But.... dating and being in a relationship is really tough with social anxiety :/

And for the op... not all guys with SA are "nice" guys and not all out-going guys are "douchebags". Some of the nicest guys I've met were friendly and out-going, and the shy-er guys can be cold and unapproachable. It varies by the person.


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## ApathyDivine (Feb 28, 2012)

No, I suppose I am too hideous


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## HustleRose (Jun 19, 2009)

Yes, but it wasn't before I initiated. I currently have a BF, but I was the one who approached him and initiated. He ended up asking me, but I think if I wasn't pushy I would still be single. :b


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## catcharay (Sep 15, 2011)

Nexus777 said:


> Forget about the xxx only a lame joke.
> 
> So he smiled and looked attractive? And after this short convo you texted him back already. Seems rare. Would you have given out your own number, too? And you would date the guy regulary? Are you often approached ? Did he clarify what he found beautiful? I read that is a killer to just say something like your beautiful or you have pretty eyes to girls, cause you need to specify certain details that are important to her...


Yes he smiled and was attractive. Black suit, tall, made me think he was attractive  
I texted 2 days later
I would've given my number, yes, but date regularly? Maybe if I was not a anxious wreck in that period of my life...Subconsciously though, I probably just wanted a social experience and interaction with a guy.

Sometimes ppl will ask me where I'm from..so I look different somehow and that different quality probably attracted them to me. But if a girl is ever complimented with "you look beautiful" even if it is just being nice,it will make her feel good. Trust me 
I think it's easier for SA persons to meet online because you get to show your true self from the get go (I met my b/f online). Good luck with finding a girl!


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## MachineSupremacist (Jun 9, 2012)

Silentious said:


> No, I suppose I am too hideous


:no

Posts like this give me hope, because there are girls out there who REALLY need a compliment and all I have to do is find one in real life.


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

Nexus777 said:


> *How ?* And did he wanted to pay
> 
> I am loveshy guy and read about some experiment a guy did in asking 100 women for sex. Some said yes, some gave their number.... I cannot even ask for a date, but wonder if it would harden myself to aks for sex for rejections to normal aprroaches. *What do girls think?*


How?

Guys tend to walk front of me even with their friends and ask for sex and group sex :sus They just ask:
You are cute, would you sex with me
You are pretty, would you sex with me and my friend
My wife does not give sex, would you sex with me
I promise to give full pleasure to you, would you sex with me
Lets go to ****
I pay xxxxxxx I want sex from you

That is what they do... :um It happends on bar, on street, on city, on school....

What I think?

It is better to ask only sex if that is only what you want. No need to lie he would want a rls with me if sex is only thing he wants. But it has harmed me badly. I don't feel guys think I am even a human. Just pair of boobs and a hole. I never had sex with anyone and I doubt I ever will. I reject all guys which only want sex even some of them are gorgeus. I don't do one night stands. I think that is rude, inhuman, disgusting and wrong.

Those who enjoy, I don't judge but I am out. If I could I would slap their teeth out.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

What I want to know is how many guys ask a girl out before she gets into a relationship with one of them.


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

SnowFlakesFire said:


> How?
> 
> Guys tend to walk front of me even with their friends and ask for sex and group sex :sus They just ask:


Oh, snowflake is this "normal" where you live? It is Scandinavia I read, I always thought that these are not very "oversexed" countries. Most of these guys were drunk I guess ? This sounds really disgusting btw. Is there any reasion for it. Maybe you dress to sexy or give any unconsciouness signs or so?

Is it really true ? I never did that, Ieven had trouble with the sex thing, when I knew the girl for some time. I think 2 or 3 of em dumbed me, cause I was so lame in the sex/erotic department. :sus

Also I never had a "one night stand" - I never understood the concept anyway. It is mostly for drunk party goers I guess. I want to know the girl I am with normally before going to bed (if I had any )


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

catcharay said:


> I think it's easier for SA persons to meet online because you get to show your true self from the get go (I met my b/f online). Good luck with finding a girl!


Thanks, yes i know writing is easier ( i can write with girls it seems ), the only girls I met were with writing letters (in the old days) or online with. But that years ago, now the girls online are way to picky and think they are all little princesses that need to be worshipped- maybe because they get 0 mails a day from guys kissing their asses  So I got only 1 answer from 40 tries or so with online dating. And this answer were 2 sentences with no follow up. Internet got to crowded now and as I said on dating sites women seem only answer the guys with most attractive pics and at least some $/€: I don´t whine about it, this is reality I only can accept. So I need to go back to real life tries - easier said than done, it did not succed before when talked to girls in clubs years ago :mum


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

Nexus777 said:


> Oh, snowflake is this "normal" where you live? It is Scandinavia I read, I always thought that these are not very "oversexed" countries. Most of these guys were drunk I guess ? This sounds really disgusting btw. Is there any reasion for it.* Maybe you dress to sexy or give any unconsciouness signs or so? *


*Dont ever, dont ever never ever*

say this to any girl and last for me :twisted :twisted :twisted . How you dare to accuse me about dressing too sexy especially when you dont know. I always wear long sleeves, there is always fabric to hide my boobs and I never even show my jeans-butt. But even if I would dress like I would be half naked, they have no rights to be rude.

More than that... How you can even insult me that bad for saying I would give some *unconsciouness signs*? Can you even imagine that you are worse than those guys who are asking me for sex? You are ****ing lowest person in a world. Do you also accuse raped girls for becoming raped? eh? ****ing rude jerk.



Nexus777 said:


> *Is it really true ?*


And then you are accusing me for lying, thank you very much, GTFO :twisted


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## aquilla (Aug 18, 2011)

Ummm....no, never.


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

SnowFlakesFire said:


> *
> 
> And then you are accusing me for lying, thank you very much, GTFO :twisted*


*

Nope - guess this came off maybe a bit too unfriendly ?

This wasn´t my attention so I appologize. And no I did not imply any of the things you said, I just can not believe that there are so much guys who would behave like this  At least where I come from and from my experience, yours may differ of course....That´s all... I did not want to be a jerk, so sorry again*


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