# The Complete Guide to Not Giving a F***...Read, share your thoughts



## jook (Nov 25, 2009)

I just came across this while surfing the internet. I think some people might find it helpful or at least amusing. Read and share your thoughts if you feel so inclined. Does it empower you to see things differently? Here ya go!

http://inoveryourhead.net/the-complete-guide-to-not-giving-a-f***/

There's also a book called: F*** It: The Ultimate Spiritual Way


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## Bur (May 3, 2013)

haha! I likes it! I definitely could benefit from this mentality from time to time.


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## always starting over (Mar 15, 2013)

Reading it right now. Great article.

"Check this out: when people don’t like you, nothing actually happens."

Lol


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## jook (Nov 25, 2009)

From the article: STEP 1. Do things that you consider embarrassing...It doesn’t ****ing matter. People really don't care what you do. That's the sad, liberating truth. I think this is the revelation that if we could get this would wipe out social anxiety. People don't give a s***.


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## Esugi78 (Jun 9, 2013)

That's a really good guide


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## Gena320 (Jul 1, 2007)

**** it, i need to make this phrase my new life motto. It's liberating...


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## jook (Nov 25, 2009)

*LONG POST - But what else you gotta do? *

I just had an experience today that made me see clearly that people take themselves way too seriously. Everybody does it, but in our case (people with SA) we do it to the point that it makes us ill. I'll share the experience today that got me thinking about this (copied from another post)

Yesterday, my boyfriend found out we inherited reservations to a business luncheon for his job when two other people in line to go could not make it. He told me we were going to Maggiano's for lunch. I didn't freak. Didn't think about avoiding, just said "OK." (Trying to practice "feel the anxiety and do it anyway.) I swear I think the universe sends us what we need once we make our heartfelt intention known. I NEEDED something like this BEFORE the big trip to boyfriend's mama's party in three days.

So we went and were the first to arrive. Intimate little conference room with three large round tables with nice place settings for guest. Little did I know that I was tagging along as the "Promotions Specialist" for the Hotel my boyfriend works for until I got there and was introduced to the presenter as such :wtf. So the guy looks at me and says, "So what properties are you all representing today" and stunned I couldn't think of the hotel name so I was about to give the guy my address (the only property "I" represent):roflwhen boyfriend stepped in with a sensible response. So then my heart started pounding a mile a minute and I stood there smiling and trying to act like I understood a word of the conversation (anxiety blank), so I excused myself and went to the restroom. In there I stood in a stall and took deep breaths and noticed that I wasn't anxious about the anxiety I was feeling, was OK with it and just letting it be focusing on my breathing.

Soon after I went back out and sat down with BF people started dribbling in with little chit chat here and there. Once the presentation got started I tried hard to listen to the presenter but found it difficulty to follow (SA mind blank). I just let my mind do the best it could and didn't make my lack of ability to follow discussion a big deal. Instead I turned to what did work for me and that was observing others in the room.

Thirty minutes or so food started arriving to the table. I got a little tense when I put my spaghetti on my salad plate, but just did what was a natural progression to such a faux pau...I put the salad on the spaghetti plate, and thought, how clever am I. I whispered to BF, "the next time you give me a job, brief me on what it is I do." The food was very tasty so for the next twenty minutes I didn't even hear a word the presenter said, let alone understand it.

But putting the salad on the wrong plate, trying to make sure I picked up the right fork, wondering if it's ok to dig in before everybody else does, all got me to thinking - there are so many silly rules to follow socially and there is a lot of social pressure to know and follow them, otherwise YOU WILL BE JUDGE. Social judgment is very real. So we (people with SA) are not wrong to be sensitive to the taboos about how to behave and what to say in social situations. We're just overly-sensitive to not conforming, fitting in, and being like everyone else. Being in this dining setting just really brought this home to me. There are these rules in place! But again, we are way too sensitive to the judgment that might ensue upon stepping out of those boundaries somehow (the boundaries may be societally imposed or made up in our own minds)

So at this luncheon I'm having an entertaining time with myself considering all of this. So I set out to break a rule intentionally. No, I didn't stand up and yell, "Capitalism sucks!" I was a bit more subtle but effective I think. When the dessert came there were two placed on the table to be shared by the five of us at the table. I didn't know this at first and was about to reach for the first one as my very own (oh, the potential for public humiliation and embarrassment! - not serious, I just chuckled to myself at my almost fall from grace and also at the absurdity of how serious people take "the rules".

So each one of the desserts was passed around and everyone took from the one they wanted 1)banana pound cake chocolaty thing topped with ice cream or 2) apple tart pastry topped with icecream. I chose #1, ate my fair share, then reclined. I noticed everyone else followed the same suit although they were dying to go back for more since there was plenty left. So here's where the rebel was released. After a couple of minutes I reached for dessert #2, took a fair share, ate that then reclined. This felt good, I was on a roll and no one could stop me. After another couple of minutes (and this is real scary part), I reached for #1 AGAIN. Took more than my share fair, ate that, then reclined satiated and satisfied (mostly with myself). I'm sure I ate more of everything than anyone at that table and felt darn good about it, too!:teeth

F***ateers, rise up and just say F***It!!


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## JadedAm (Dec 28, 2011)

I already feel better and more confident after reading it.


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

always starting over said:


> Reading it right now. Great article.
> 
> "Check this out: when people don't like you, nothing actually happens."
> 
> Lol


That phrase wins the internet

:yes


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Haha, great post. I'm trying to develop that attitude. People are horrible and they no longer deserve my kindness. There is no point in being kind and caring to people who don't reciprocate. Or just simply don't give a **** that I care about them.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

This really wouldn't be such a nuisance to read if that background wasn't all checkers although, I do agree what this person is trying to hint at us. Life's too short to give a **** about people who don't like you. I just used such a cliche phrase but hey, I bet what this guy just typed actually does go through people's heads and some of them fail to actually take it to heart aka actually living by these words. Getting offended is obviously a natural reaction but in the end, I say to myself ' why must I really give a ****?' You know and I just thought the horse jumping out of the window is a little koo koo haha I have seen movies with horses actually being okay when they jump from such high buildings... Whatever but yikes. Anyway I really enjoyed reading something that I have been dealing with throughout my life so far. It's intriguing reading stuff I can really relate to. Good job to whoever created this blog.


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## GrowingOut (Jul 14, 2013)

My not giving a F** story.

I am single and in my 40s. I don't go out much but I did meet up with a friend and one thing led to another and we ended up at a dance club. I wasn't age inappropriate but I was close. But the main thing that kicked in my 'don't give a f**' was that it is literally impossible to communicate with anyone in a club. Outside of say a warzone its got to be the most inappropriate place on the planet to have dialogue.

So communication a problem, age a problem, types of people a problem. Solution? Let loose and dance.

I didn't really even have a good time but I did like all the complements from my male friends, they though I was the s***.

My advice to others...if you have a brain leave the brain out in the car when going to a dance club. Its completely useless in there.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

I like it! ****iteers Unite! The Time Is Now!


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## Bawsome (Jan 8, 2013)

jook said:


> I just had an experience today that made me see clearly that people take themselves way too seriously. Everybody does it, but in our case (people with SA) we do it to the point that it makes us ill. I'll share the experience today that got me thinking about this (copied from another post)
> 
> Yesterday, my boyfriend found out we inherited reservations to a business luncheon for his job when two other people in line to go could not make it. He told me we were going to Maggiano's for lunch. I didn't freak. Didn't think about avoiding, just said "OK." (Trying to practice "feel the anxiety and do it anyway.) I swear I think the universe sends us what we need once we make our heartfelt intention known. I NEEDED something like this BEFORE the big trip to boyfriend's mama's party in three days.
> 
> ...


Letting yourself make mistakes and not fear embarrassment is like gaining a set of wings.


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## jook (Nov 25, 2009)

You know this really is the answer to social anxiety. Just say F***IT!! People with social anxiety give too much of a d*** about s*** that they shouldn't give a f*** about and nobody else cares. When you find yourself in your head today about basically what boils down to Bull****,:blah see how many times you can just say ****IT!:kma The more you say it the better you'll feel and I guarantee you'll sleep better tonight. (Hope no one gets offended by the blunt tone of this message but if you do, well...you know. I mean after all, this is f***ing therapy) :teeth


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## jc90 (Jun 24, 2013)

That article is pretty good. That's the only way you're getting through life in this era is not giving two **** about what people think. Life is harder when you allow people to judge you.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

It'd reins very true and I certainly plan on going back and reading it when I am feeling anxious about feeling judged. Helps to put ourselves in others shoes every so often and realise just how little impact we actually have on people lives due to insignificant things which we believe to be overwhelmingly embarrassing.


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## jook (Nov 25, 2009)

AussiePea said:


> ...insignificant things which we believe to be overwhelmingly embarrassing.


In terms of how much people are actually judging us and if they are, how much that really matters, we see the Gieco lizard and turn it into a tyrannosaurus Rex in our heads.

Speaking of the Gieco lizard (who doesn't have social anxiety) If he thought someone was judging him I'm sure he'd say in that snazzy, English voice of his that is so darn sexy for a reptile...F**ckit! :b


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## jook (Nov 25, 2009)

From the article:

_Take back your self respect. Do it today- try it right now. Wear something ugly. Do something stupid. Tell someone the truth...everyone is capable of understanding the weird things that you do_


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Weird I've read this before a long time ago, I remember the Stephen King reference, but I can't remember where I read it...


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## HanSolo (Jul 5, 2013)

I would love to go to the grocery store in a Lord Vader costume some day, too bad I don't have the voice at all for it


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## Gena320 (Jul 1, 2007)

I literally told someone to go **** himself the other day and don't regret it one bit. I'm sure I caught him off guard, it's so not like me, but I don't care (he doesn't talk to me anymore)...I've been applying this don't give a **** philosophy as much as possible, it's not easy, I sometimes still get trapped in my old negative thinking patterns, but I'm getting better. I don't worry about trying to be as nice as before...if people don't like it they can just go **** themselves.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Sorry but I have heard that crap for my whole life. Knowing that our fears are illogical doesn't change the fact that they're still there. I can't just stop "giving a ****" even if I want to.


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## Douhnut77 (Jun 6, 2013)

I have that book, its a good book and it gives you some little meditation techniques, but **** THOSE! The article is alot more powerful and to the point, its less about the philosophy and more about the courage to just say **** IT and do something that will make you feel ALIVE :evil


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## Crimson Lotus (Jul 26, 2013)

I would have read the guide but I didn't give an efff, so I didn't.

Am I doing it right?


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## Kalliber (Aug 18, 2012)

Hmm interesting


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## Hanalila (Jun 30, 2012)

Awesome!! This is one of the two articles that saved my life earlier this year!!
I realised just how much I'm living my life by some standard in my head and of perceived judgement by people. But why should I be a prisoner to what I think others think of me? Or even what they're actually thinking of me??
When someone judges me, they're the ones feeling that judgement - not me - unless I then start to judge myself too. Well, just don't judge yourself...and realise you can't make people not judge you or make them think anything at all..and you shouldn't try. It doesn't matter what they think. 

I love this article!!! I really need to find the other article, now. It was similar, but different, heh. I can only imagine how freeing it must be to just LIVE life without worrying so much about living up to some standard in your head and imagining that you can make people believe things about you if you do things a certain way...hahaha....I just want to LIVE!! And say **** IT to what others think.


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