# Ladies, would you date a 25 year old guy who lives with his parents?



## OldSchoolSkater (Jun 3, 2011)

I don't even think about talking to cute girls anymore because I know this would come up and I'm far too embarassed to tell them. I even avoid talking to a lot of people I went to school with because I hate hearing about how they've owned their house for a year now and I'm stuck explaining that I can barely pay back my school loans and other bills while living at home.


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## MojoCrunch (Mar 25, 2011)

I would. As long as he was cool. I don't think there's anything wrong with what you're doing as it's what realistically happens for most of us who finished school that didn't have rich parents to pay for our education. Hell I'll probably be in the same situation as you till then.


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## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

Well I did so yes, haha. It's really hard in today's world, paying back student loans after four years of university. Most people can't do more than a cruddy part time job if they're full time students so honestly I don't see how that can be held against you. By living with your parents you're able to pay them back faster so...smart move. Buying a house? Arguably not always a smart move.


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## MoniqueS (Feb 21, 2011)

I would because I'm a 22 year old year girl living at home with my parents.


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## Akane (Jan 2, 2008)

Date, yes. Get in a serious relationship or marry, no. Most relationships are very temporary anyway so no reason to restrict all dates to perfect matches.


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## angel by my side (Feb 6, 2010)

I would definately 
Im 24yrs old still living at home, i feel EXACTLY the same as you, i have a deposit all ready for a house and i feel like im forcing myself to move out because its what people think i should be doing even though im not sure im ready to do it yet!
Best to just go with the flow (easier said than done!) and do things at your own pace, why bother racking up loads more debt just to please others?? xx


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## layitontheline (Aug 19, 2009)

Yes, as long as he was planning to get his own place in the future.


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## OldSchoolSkater (Jun 3, 2011)

Wow. Seems that maybe the only problem here is my attitude and my own insecurities. 

I am planning on moving out in the near future, I'm just at the point that I'd be fine until my car broke down or I got sick and had to go to the doctor (which means no pay for those days and paying for the doctor instead). I guess I'll have to tough it out a little longer and try to act like it doesn't bother me. Maybe if I act like it's not a big deal no one else will either...

Thank you so much for your replies.


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

Yes I would. Given the current state of the economy in the US I think a lot of people are living with family, no matter if they're shy or not. And btw, I didn't move out of Mom's house until I was 25, and was only financially sound enough to move out of my aunt and uncle's last June.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

layitontheline said:


> Yes, as long as he was planning to get his own place in the future.


This. I am a 23 year old living at home so I can't exactly throw stones. It's hard, when both people live at home as you don't have your own space to have...private time. But as long as he wasn't planning on living at home forever, I'd be fine with it. It's tough to get off on your own nowadays.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

Um, dude, you're young and ****.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

I moved back in with my dad at 25. Why the hell would I want to live on my own again with 20k+ in college loans and nothing to show for it? I have no girlfriend, so who cares? I'm by far not an underachiever, and am going back to school for another degree.

Would I move out of my dad's if a met a girl who wanted to settle down? Possibly, depending on if I really trusted and liked the girl enough to be that serious, so it goes both ways. I plan on going back to school another four years for another degree so I already anticipate me not having much money till at least 30+. It bothered me at first but it's all good. I'm happy with things. To be honest, I don't expect to meet any girl I'd get serious with enough to marry or move in with in four years so it isn't like I'm going to miss anything. She'd be crazy not to be with someone she loved anyways. Any girl that is that money hungry to not give a person a chance even though that person has enough to pay most bills is way to superficial for me. A lot are like that as if everyone graduates on time and doesn't have life expectancies. And if I get turned down because of my position then I'll learn to be happier by myself. I don't want some chick for my money. What kind of a relationship is that? Sounds depressing if you ask me. How much cars or pieces of jewelry does someone need anyway?


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I am almost 29 and in the same situation. I also face the same fear.


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

Don't want to burst your bubble, but no girl is going to publicly say "no I wouldn't date you, I am materialistic and shallow" 

That said, its not a black or white thing. Its all in your attitude.


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

Nice to see the ladies don't mind, I'll probably be living at home for awhile...


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

VanDamMan said:


> Don't want to burst your bubble, but no girl is going to publicly say "no I wouldn't date you, I am materialistic and shallow"
> 
> That said, its not a black or white thing. Its all in your attitude.


Yeah they would.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

bwidger85 said:


> Yeah they would.


They probably would say, "You're such a nice guy, BUT..."

Then the guy would come onto a forum and complain about all girls choosing jerks. It has happened before.


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## lissa530 (Oct 29, 2009)

Yes I would not have a problem with it at all.


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## Onigiri (Aug 3, 2010)

I would (and I actually did). My bf lived with his parents for awhile and I didn't mind. With this economy, the price of tuition and etc, it's almost stupid to live independently when one can't afford it.

However, the relationship did get more serious when he moved out and I got to help him out by helping him take care of his place. Suddenly, I realized, "Wow, we're growing up and I'm developing domestic skills I didn't think I had." So, in a way... by having a guy live on his own is beneficial to the relationship because it gives the relationship to grow without outside influences. It's also a way to see if two people can function as a viable partnership when it comes to boring things like taking out the trash and cleaning the toilet.

So anyway... maybe, it just depends on how soon you want to get married and how long the girl can wait.


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## SuperSky (Feb 16, 2011)

Since I have plans of moving out of my parents' house in the near future, I'd probably be a little wary of dating someone who still lived with their parents with no immediate intention of moving out. But if both of us were in the same city and we could still spend time together, maybe sleepovers or whatever from time to time, then there's no reason it'd start bothering me for at least a year.


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## stranger25 (Apr 29, 2010)

Akane said:


> Date, yes. Get in a serious relationship or marry, no. Most relationships are very temporary anyway so no reason to restrict all dates to perfect matches.


gold digger?


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## EnchantingGhost (May 23, 2011)

Sure, I would. Doesn't matter that much where you live as long as your parents are cool with you having people at your place, right?


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## mooncake (Jan 29, 2008)

Wouldn't bother me, as long as he didn't plan on living with his parents forever (just because I'd like us to get our own place someday). I don't even think that someone still living with their parents at 25 is all that uncommon, it's certainly not something I'd judge someone negatively for. Renting or buying a property is horrifically expensive.


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## Akane (Jan 2, 2008)

Financial strain is one of the leading causes of failed marriages. There's no point getting in a serious relationship when money and your future are uncertain. Dating is fine but I don't understand the people who get married and then get divorced a few months later because they didn't think through things like finances and whether they both want the same future. I figured I would probably never hold much of a job and now I'm waiting on my disability claim. Just to survive in this world long term without relying on my parents for the rest of my life requires someone who has proven they can hold a job. My husband has some credit card debt but he makes $50k/year so we are staying at his condo for now, rehoming some pets to do so, and getting things paid off so we can get house in a few years. I would have been heart broken and possibly comitted suicide if we didn't have the money to give my dog surgery last month to save her life which came up to $2100. As much as I hate it money is a big issue for existing in this world unless you have no goals towards living condition, pets, hobbies, etc...


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## Angha (May 27, 2011)

I wouldn't mind since I"m in the same boat myself. I think a lot of people understand now, more than ever, that it's really hard to make ends meet on your own. Living with your parents while you try to gather up more money and go to college is logically a great decision.

So, as long as they're actually trying to become independent, I don't see it being problematic to the relationship.


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## Wacky Wednesdays (Apr 10, 2011)

I wouldn't have a problem with that, as long as his parents aren't overbearing


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

^
Yeah, this, it would depend a LOT on the parent situation.

If my boyfriend had wanted to live at home after university, we might have had some serious problems, as I was not allowed over unless his mother invited me.


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## clt851988 (Jun 9, 2011)

Hey, I would not have a problem with it either. My brother is 25 and still lives at home with my parents and me. I don't think he could afford living on his own yet anyways. He has never had a girlfriend, never even gone on a date before in his life.


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## OldSchoolSkater (Jun 3, 2011)

Hmm. So it seems that all I need to find is a woman with SAD because she will be understanding of the situation I am in....or something...

Also, my parents are real cool about having people over. I don't because there isn't really much privacy or anything to do at my house besides watch TV, but they don't care at all.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Yeah, ask this question on any other forum, and you'll get plenty of a different answer from the girls!


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## OldSchoolSkater (Jun 3, 2011)

Haha, yes I figured as much. To me, there's no way this many women that I see out at the bars or walking downtown would even consider dating a 25 year old living at home. It seems, well, pathetic and sad to be honest. I do appreciate the responses, especially the positive ones, but I still don't have the confidence to talk to any girls I like and tell them I live with my parents. I have a feeling that is an instant turn off for most women in America.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Try an almost 29 year old living at home. Believe me, that is much worse.


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

I think as long as you work it wouldn't be a problem for most girl's. I think though if you are having difficulty paying your bills then getting into a relationship right now is probably not the smart thing to do. Wait until you pay them down a bit so you can actually afford to have some fun with your date. It's just my opinion.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

OldSchoolSkater said:


> Haha, yes I figured as much. To me, there's no way this many women that I see out at the bars or walking downtown would even consider dating a 25 year old living at home. It seems, well, pathetic and sad to be honest. I do appreciate the responses, especially the positive ones, but I still don't have the confidence to talk to any girls I like and tell them I live with my parents. I have a feeling that is an instant turn off for most women in America.


Women at bars? What makes women at bars so special and high-end? I don't understand why everyone is so damn worried about this. I worked minimum wage supporting myself before and still had money left over to spend! Everyone wants to be freaking millionaires or all or nothing. It's just a reflection of our society.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

NightFlier said:


> No, try in your 30s and living at home still:roll. Maybe I should do a poll on that! To the OP 25 is pushing it, but plenty of women would still be open to dating you. Get out there and stop letting feeble excuses and sa issues keep holding you back! It's not too late, YET.


The only problem I see is if you wanted to start a family and have children. Two people working minimum wage can get a fairly decent apartment. They won't have much money to spend on sports cars or boats or vacations, but so what?

It seems to me that this argument is a one that reflects a person's character as it is financial. For instance, a man who works for minimum wage must have responsibility issues! Gasp. Wrong. Life happens. Sometimes not everyone gets that CEO position or completes their degree within an allotted time. Does this mean they are failures or irresponsible? Absolutely not. You'll be shocked to find out some of the richest people you may come across didn't start making money till later in life. Who gives a flying squat? You guys are worried for nothing.

If your that worried about it then go back to school or learn a trade or something. It is never too late to build a career! Your 25, so what? Your 30, so what? People have kids at 18 years old, but does that stop them from going to school or being successful? It doesn't have to and it often doesn't. Having large amounts of money mean nothing when it comes to real relationships IF you can at least work and bring in money to pay bills, and I don't mean bills toward that Escalade or mansion you are paying off! Having children is a different matter, but can still be done working minimum wage. There are tax exemptions, welfare, cheap housing plans for people with children, FREE SCHOOLING!!!!!!!, etc, etc. I'm not saying to do this and milk the system, but you guys are worried about nothing.

Once again, the whole notion that women all want the same thing (money) is ridiculous. The only argument that stands valid in my view is a loser-guy who does not want to work or not want to do anything further with his life; whom doesn't support himself or his girlfriend, kids. This is totally different than a person who lives with his parents or gets minimum wage. The difference is a matter of personal fortitude and gumption and not how much money he is making at the moment.

The statement of how living with your parents means so much to someone: once again, if it is going to put a damper on your relationships then move the hell out. You don't have to be a CEO of a major company to have an apartment. I've never made more than a steady 10 dollars an hour working anywhere yet but I've managed to have three different apartments and still have money left over without support from the government. I paid car insurance, cell phone bill, rent, cable/internet, electric, etc. Give me a break. It is for this reason when I hear someone speak of SA as an excuse it pisses me off and I have to get going on a rant about it.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

OldSchoolSkater said:


> I don't even think about talking to cute girls anymore because I know this would come up and I'm far too embarassed to tell them. I even avoid talking to a lot of people I went to school with because I hate hearing about how they've owned their house for a year now and I'm stuck explaining that I can barely pay back my school loans and other bills while living at home.


Btw, most school loans are halted if you decide to go back to school and so is interest. Your kind of stuck in the system when you have school debt without a career, but they still give you lenience to further your education or get another degree, which I'm doing. You'll end up having more debt when you get out but at least you can have a second shot at starting over. And when you get out you'll pay them off relatively fast if you pay large amounts with a steady career, especially if your living with your parents!

You should really consider yourself lucky. Your parents are housing you and paying bills. You have a great, great opportunity to advance your life in which ever way you want right now!


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

bwidger85 said:


> Women at bars? What makes women at bars so special and high-end? I don't understand why everyone is so damn worried about this. I worked minimum wage supporting myself before and still had money left over to spend! Everyone wants to be freaking millionaires or all or nothing. It's just a reflection of our society.


I have nothing else to add to this except


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

I think it's pretty reasonable as long as you're not milking it. Who can afford to buy a house for a quarter of a million euros at 25 anyway?


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## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

If you work full time, or in the process of that, or you doing part-time and are a student.. then it's no big deal. I get embarassed sometimes I'm 21 with no car. I live at home too and going to college. It's no problem. There will be people who tell you it is, but they are trying to pump their egos by tearing you down, imo.


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## stranger25 (Apr 29, 2010)

Akane said:


> Financial strain is one of the leading causes of failed marriages. There's no point getting in a serious relationship when money and your future are uncertain. Dating is fine but I don't understand the people who get married and then get divorced a few months later because they didn't think through things like finances and whether they both want the same future. I figured I would probably never hold much of a job and now I'm waiting on my disability claim. Just to survive in this world long term without relying on my parents for the rest of my life requires someone who has proven they can hold a job. My husband has some credit card debt but he makes $50k/year so we are staying at his condo for now, rehoming some pets to do so, and getting things paid off so we can get house in a few years. I would have been heart broken and possibly comitted suicide if we didn't have the money to give my dog surgery last month to save her life which came up to $2100. As much as I hate it money is a big issue for existing in this world unless you have no goals towards living condition, pets, hobbies, etc...


One thing that gets me is how a woman who is unemployed with no car will reject guys who are the same way. You can't get anymore bold, or hypocriticial and shallow than that.

Seems like a man will have no problem dating a woman like this, but a woman will always hate dating a man the same way. Ridiculous.


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## IcemanKilmer (Feb 20, 2011)

VanDamMan said:


> Don't want to burst your bubble, but no girl is going to publicly say "no I wouldn't date you, I am materialistic and shallow"


Haha, I was thinking the same thing. Saying something and doing something are totally different things.


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## IcemanKilmer (Feb 20, 2011)

stranger25 said:


> One thing that gets me is how a woman who is unemployed with no car will reject guys who are the same way. You can't get anymore bold, or hypocriticial and shallow than that.
> 
> Seems like a man will have no problem dating a woman like this, but a woman will always hate dating a man the same way. Ridiculous.


This is so true! Ugh, it just irritates me.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

JimmyDeansRetartedCousin said:


> I think it's pretty reasonable as long as you're not milking it. Who can afford to buy a house for a quarter of a million euros at 25 anyway?


You could rent an apartment at that age. That is not exactly out-of-reach for a middle class bloke.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

IcemanKilmer said:


> Haha, I was thinking the same thing. Saying something and doing something are totally different things.


In my experience, even if girls on this site provide real world examples where they defy a stereotype presented in one of these threads, these posts too are also attacked / ignored.


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## IcemanKilmer (Feb 20, 2011)

Perfectionist said:


> In my experience, even if girls on this site provide real world examples where they defy a stereotype presented in one of these threads, these posts too are also attacked / ignored.


.....Which goes back to what I just said, saying something and doing something are totally different things.

I'm saying that women are famous for saying they will do something that is more fair and acceptable, and then doing the entire opposite when they are actually faced with the situation.

In this case, it sounds good and fair to say they would date a guy who lives at his parents' house. I'd love to see what would happen if they were put in a situation where they had to decide between a guy that lives at his parents' house vs. a guy that doesn't live at his parents' house. She's going to choose the independent guy, contrary to what she says.

Independence and financial status matter to most women.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

If a girl is shallow enough to reject you based on something like that, she isn't worth your time anyways.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

WintersTale said:


> If a girl is shallow enough to reject you based on something like that, she isn't worth your time anyways.


Word.


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## IcemanKilmer (Feb 20, 2011)

WintersTale said:


> If a girl is shallow enough to reject you based on something like that, she isn't worth your time anyways.


Ha, so you are saying the majority of women are shallow and not worth my time? The majority of women care about independence and financial status, so that's what you are telling me.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

IcemanKilmer said:


> Ha, so you are saying the majority of women are shallow and not worth my time? The majority of women care about independence and financial status, so that's what you are telling me.


Your starting to make it very obvious that you don't read women's posts at all. Why would they lie? Your hell bent on believing in something that makes you seem incredibly arrogant.


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## IcemanKilmer (Feb 20, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> Your starting to make it very obvious that you don't read women's posts at all. Why would they lie? Your hell bent on believing in something that makes you seem incredibly arrogant.


They have a clear motive, to make the OP feel better about his situation. It even makes themselves feel better about themselves to say something like that.

It's like I said before, it's possible many of them aren't even lying. They may even truly believe RIGHT NOW that they would be willing to date a guy that lives with his parents. Then, when you actually give them a situation where they have to decide IRL whether they really do want to date a guy who lives with his parents, they are probably not going to do it.

_Saying something and doing something are totally different._


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

I respect your views on things but I disagree.

There are women, obviously more than you are aware, that date guys who live with their parents.


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## IcemanKilmer (Feb 20, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> There are women that date guys who live with their parents.


Lol, that is true, there are women who date guys who live with their parents. I'm not denying that.

I think the problem we have here is that you think the number is higher than it really is.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

So what your saying is the probability that most women would not date men who live with their parents?


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## IcemanKilmer (Feb 20, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> So what your saying is the probability that most women would not date men who live with their parents?


Most women would not date men who live with their parents.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

IcemanKilmer said:


> Most women would not date men who live with their parents.


As already stated, that depends on the situation and the person, so it is hard to say that the fact is most women wouldn't date a man who lived with his parents. Honestly though, now we are going in circles on this one. I see your point but it is a tall claim when their are other considerations to think about.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Just a piece of advice, bwidger.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

IcemanKilmer said:


> _Saying something and doing something are totally different._


And I repeat: even when a women says she is currently doing something against a stereotype (ie: she states she is currently dating a short man in a thread complaining about how women never date short men) she is attacked/ignored.

Or, if the people in the debate finally acknowledge that she is not fitting this steroetype, instead of reworking that stereotype, they simply claim that she is a freak of nature. Or if there are many of us that defy the stereotype, that we "do not count" as we have SA and are thus not "regular" women.


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## IcemanKilmer (Feb 20, 2011)

Perfectionist said:


> And I repeat: even when a women says she is currently doing something against a stereotype (ie: she states she is currently dating a short man in a thread complaining about how women never date short men) she is attacked/ignored.
> 
> Or, if the people in the debate finally acknowledge that she is not fitting this steroetype, instead of reworking that stereotype, they simply claim that she is a freak of nature. Or if there are many of us that defy the stereotype, that we "do not count" as we have SA and are thus not "regular" women.


As I stated before, there are women who date men who live with their parents. I'm not denying that.

As for women dating men that are shorter than them, I never ever even mentioned anything about women not dating short men. Women date shorter men all the time. I'd ask that you please not accuse of me saying something I clearly did not.

You are trying to put me in a category of guys that think women never do certain things. I'm not saying women never do certain things, I'm saying most women do certain things.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

^I made no mention of you in any of that post. I was explaining arguments I have seen on this forum in the past, by various members. The short men comment was - I thought it would have been clear - another example of this issue which has come up in threads many, many a time before.


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## IcemanKilmer (Feb 20, 2011)

Perfectionist said:


> ^I made no mention of you in any of that post. I was explaining arguments I have seen on this forum in the past, by various members. The short men comment was - I thought it would have been clear - another example of this issue which has come up in threads many, many a time before.


You used my quote, so I assumed what you were saying was directed at me. That's usually the case when you quote someone.


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## jamesd (Feb 17, 2011)

VanDamMan said:


> Don't want to burst your bubble, but no girl is going to publicly say "no I wouldn't date you, I am materialistic and shallow"
> 
> That said, its not a black or white thing. Its all in your attitude.


Exactly. I really doubt any worth while woman is going to be thrilled of a prospective bf who still lives at home. No offense to anyone here but it's just common sense.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

^Thrilled? No I doubt a woman would be.

Tolerant of it? That's a different story.


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

I would as long as they were living at home to pay back school loans and save money for a house or something. If they were just taking free rent from their parents and not doing anything in the house like chores and not trying to get a job or whatnot and just being lazy, no way in hell.


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## RyanJ (Mar 31, 2009)

Maybe a better question would be... 

Would you date a guy in his mid-twenties who lives with his parents and spends a good portion of his time in online forums expressing negative opinions about a certain gender with which he has admittedly had little or no contact?


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## Makaveli (Jul 15, 2009)

I live in a city where the average house price is USD 600,000. Rental vacancies are 2% and some people are paying $300 p/w excl expenses just to live with room mates.

Many people here live with folks to be able to save up enough to buy a house. I'm not a big advocate of rent and don't see why I should pay someone elses mortgage when I don't need to. 

Tbh even if I was earning 100k right now I'd still be @ home. I'd be able to have investment properties, build wealth so other suckers can pay me to rent. I couldn't give a flying **** how it looked because everyone carries their weight around our house and contributes to expenses. 

It's just a shame I've had to deal with chronic major depression and SA which has left me in ruts and stalled my progress. I'd have probably saved up $500,000-750,000 by now and have a property or 2, decent share portfolio and high end motor vehicle.


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## OldSchoolSkater (Jun 3, 2011)

Ok guys, I think we've gotten off topic for the most part. I see a ton of guys opinions, and what I asked for was if the SPECIFIC WOMEN WHO FREQUENT THIS FORUM WOULD DATE A 25 YEAR OLD LIVING WITH THEIR PARENTS. I do not, and will not, care what a 20-35 year old man believes or says on this topic. 

More on my situation for those interested. I am 25, graduated from college 2 years ago, was only unemployed for just under 4 months of that. I work at least 40 hours a week, do plenty of chores around the house, and don't get monetary support from my parents except free rent. I'd say groceries are split somewhere around half-way between them and I, and they help me pay for my car insurance. I pay back close to $500 a month for school loans - which is the $500 a month extra that I need to move out. I am at a temp-to-hire position, which is hourly, which means when there are holidays or I am sick I lose out of quite a bit of money. 

I do not plan on staying here forever, and have been looking around at apartments I may be able to afford, but I don't believe that I can move out and never have to rely on my folks again yet. I could move out now, but in 6 months if I get sick or if my temp-to-hire position doesn't work out, I'd be right back with the folks asking for help. I want to make sure that when I move out I'm not moving back in. This has kept me from talking to plenty of women, because let's face it, it's embarrassing to live at home at 25. 

Thank you to the women who answered my original question. To the men, I appreciate the thought but I was not looking for men's opinions on the situation.


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## nmpennea (May 16, 2011)

OldSchoolSkater said:


> Ok guys, I think we've gotten off topic for the most part. I see a ton of guys opinions, and what I asked for was if the SPECIFIC WOMEN WHO FREQUENT THIS FORUM WOULD DATE A 25 YEAR OLD LIVING WITH THEIR PARENTS. I do not, and will not, care what a 20-35 year old man believes or says on this topic.
> 
> More on my situation for those interested. I am 25, graduated from college 2 years ago, was only unemployed for just under 4 months of that. I work at least 40 hours a week, do plenty of chores around the house, and don't get monetary support from my parents except free rent. I'd say groceries are split somewhere around half-way between them and I, and they help me pay for my car insurance. I pay back close to $500 a month for school loans - which is the $500 a month extra that I need to move out. I am at a temp-to-hire position, which is hourly, which means when there are holidays or I am sick I lose out of quite a bit of money.
> 
> ...


It wouldn't bother me at all as long as you were not planning on living there forever and not working ever. The economy is tough right now and a lot of recent college grads can't find jobs or decent jobs and it is understandable.

So I think right now the majority of women it would not bother, especially because you are not the type of man women avoid. You are just doing what you have to do.


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## stranger25 (Apr 29, 2010)

What do you think the majority of men's opinion would be on a woman who wanted to be unemployed forever and live with her parents forever? Everyone knows the answer but I'm just asking.


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## IcemanKilmer (Feb 20, 2011)

stranger25 said:


> What do you think the majority of men's opinion would be on a woman who wanted to be unemployed forever and live with her parents forever? Everyone knows the answer but I'm just asking.


As long as a guy has a good enough full-time job, he usually could care less if a woman wants to be unemployed or not.

I've never even heard of any guy, especially my friends, who looked for a woman that was "ambitious." The only thing most men care about is whether the woman is willing to be a companion to the guy and have sex with him.

Hoca talked about this and I agree with him because it's quite obvious. Most men are so desperate in today's society, it's insane. Most of them just have two qualifications, sex and companionship. If they get that, they are more than happy.


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## stranger25 (Apr 29, 2010)

Spot on. How can anyone not see the hypocrisy in that. That's like a slap in the face to most heterosexual males. You ask some girl out and she wants you to have money, but you don't care if she does or not. I think if men held women up to those same type of standards things would be a little easier in the dating scene these days. I could be wrong though. 

The blame I put on men with this whole dating scene issue is the desperation and the sex beggar mentality but that's just how we as men are I guess.


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## Onomatopoeia (May 27, 2011)

At times it has been a source of embarrassment for me too. Im kind of floating around a bit right now...but, Im still in school and thankfully I have had great summer jobs to pay off University each semester.


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## IcemanKilmer (Feb 20, 2011)

stranger25 said:


> The blame I put on men with this whole dating scene issue is the desperation and the sex beggar mentality but that's just how we as men are I guess.


Well, not all men are like that. In most cases though, they are.

Men are more desperate than ever now because of a combination of sexual biology and the feminist movement. Men have always been desperate because men think about sex a lot more than women (Statistically proven). Since men have constantly been the hunter and more aggressive gender, the women have always had the option of choice due to man's desperation for sex.

What's made it even worse is the feminist movement. Women are working more than ever now, and I even believe women have evolved into knowing exactly how much power they have over men and using it to their full advantage. They now realize they totally have men by a leash because the women can afford to be single. Now they have this super-choice power that is the highest it's ever been in the history of humanity.

What really makes me mad is that you see women that shouldn't be with certain guys, like now it's normal when I'm in a grocery store to see a regular sized guy or skinny guy with an overweight woman. It's just horrible how much power all women have now. It doesn't even matter what she looks like or acts like, she's guaranteed a thousand or more options.


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## emptybottle2 (Jan 18, 2009)

IcemanKilmer said:


> *What's made it even worse is the feminist movement. Women are working more than ever now, *and I even believe women have evolved into knowing exactly how much power they have over men and using it to their full advantage. They now realize they totally have men by a leash because the women can afford to be single. Now they have this super-choice power that is the highest it's ever been in the history of humanity.


If we were back in the days when most women didn't work, then wouldn't you guys with SA/depression/etc. who couldn't get it it together and afford to provide for a woman by your early 20s still lose out?


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## IcemanKilmer (Feb 20, 2011)

emptybottle2 said:


> If we were back in the days when most women didn't work, then wouldn't you guys with SA/depression/etc. who couldn't get it it together and afford to provide for a woman by your early 20s still lose out?


No, because even if a guy back then struggled to get a job by his early 20s, he could still manage to get a job and a woman later in his life. You make it seem like all guys with SA don't get it together financially. I've seen plenty of men on this site that more than have it together financially, there are even a decent amount of rich people on here.

Women were so much less shallow than they are now, back then. Back then, it was more about just having a job. Nowadays it's not just about having a job, but how well-paying your job is if you are a guy. On those online dating sites at least 80% of the women that actually look at a man's profile, look at how much money he has and use that as the sole reason behind their decision behind whether they want to date him or not after viewing his picture.

Like I said before, it's not just the feminist movement. I'd say it's mainly sexual biology that has just evolved into this one-sided women have all the choice sausage fest. It's at it's worse right now because feminism has merged in and women have had years to figure out how much choice they really have. My guess it will only get worse, if that's possible.

I would be interested to see what it really is like in other countries. I hear it's way better in countries like the Philippines. I heard the women are less narcissistic, and the women care about other people more. Less egoism and more unselfishness. That sounds good to me. I'm sure it is better, but the question is, how much?


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## emptybottle2 (Jan 18, 2009)

IcemanKilmer said:


> No, because even if a guy back then struggled to get a job by his early 20s, he could still manage to get a job and a woman later in his life. You make it seem like all guys with SA don't get it together financially. I've seen plenty of men on this site that more than have it together financially, there are even a decent amount of rich people on here.


I wasn't talking about all SA guys. I was just referring to you and the few other guys here who blame their loneliness on feminism and this idea that how much money a man makes is the number one thing young women care about. It's not like most men in your age group even have high-paying jobs nowadays, yet dating isn't impossible for them. It seems like you and stranger don't acknowledge how much social skills, charisma, and confidence matter nearly as much as you keep going on about money and looks being the only things women look for, the dealbreakers. Of course women in online dating sites are going to look really picky -- much pickier than they'd be in "real-life" dating -- since they're being asked to list their ideal qualities. The ideal man isn't the same as the men they'd actually date.



IcemanKilmer said:


> I would be interested to see what it really is like in other countries. I hear it's way better in countries like the Philippines. I heard the women are less narcissistic, and the women care about other people more. Less egoism and more unselfishness. That sounds good to me. I'm sure it is better, but the question is, how much?


Get a mail-order bride and blog about it here.


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## IcemanKilmer (Feb 20, 2011)

emptybottle2 said:


> I wasn't talking about all SA guys. I was just referring to you and the few other guys here who blame their loneliness on feminism and this idea that how much money a man makes is the number one thing young women care about. It's not like most men in your age group even have high-paying jobs nowadays, yet dating isn't impossible for them. It seems like you and stranger don't acknowledge how much social skills, charisma, and confidence matter nearly as much as you keep going on about money and looks being the only things women look for, the dealbreakers. Of course women in online dating sites are going to look really picky -- much pickier than they'd be in "real-life" dating -- since they're being asked to list their ideal qualities. The ideal man isn't the same as the men they'd actually date.
> 
> Get a mail-order bride and blog about it here.


Omg, you haven't read any of my posts. I clearly stated in my posts that social status, social personality, and social confidence are more important than money for a man to get a woman.

You know what, if you are going to criticize someone like you are, at least look at their posting history before you start trying to act like you know what their thoughts are on things like this.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

If you are:

Good looking
Have great social skills
Are not fashion illiterate
Have a good job/good income
Are going to school/caring for an ill relative/some other excuse

Women are likely to ignore that you live at home, and regard you as a catch.

The problem with guys like us is that we have social anxiety, so that's one huge strike against us. We are also less likely to have jobs, so that's another strike. We also sometimes have trouble going to college, so that's strike three, and you're out!


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## flip (Apr 29, 2011)

A lot of girls still live with their parents too.


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## PLarry (Apr 2, 2011)

Don Rickles lived with his mom til he was like 30 something, and he was best friends with frank sinatra. So I don't think it should be a problem to any non-douchebags.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

flip said:


> A lot of girls still live with their parents too.


You say that like it has any bearing on what women think of the OP's question.


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## IcemanKilmer (Feb 20, 2011)

flip said:


> A lot of girls still live with their parents too.


That is true, but what I find very interesting is many of the women that live with their parents still want a guy that has his own place.

It's just another huge double standard that many women operate on in the dating world.


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## IcemanKilmer (Feb 20, 2011)

PLarry said:


> Don Rickles lived with his mom til he was like 30 something, and he was best friends with frank sinatra. So I don't think it should be a problem to any non-douchebags.


That is surprising because first of all, Rickles must have been rich at the time, right? He would have no need to depend on his parents.

Also, when Rickles was making fun of people, wasn't he ever concerned that the person he was making fun of would mention something about Rickles being a mama's boy? It seems like it would be a good comeback that he would have no excuse for.


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## PLarry (Apr 2, 2011)

IcemanKilmer said:


> That is surprising because first of all, Rickles must have been rich at the time, right? He would have no need to depend on his parents.
> 
> Also, when Rickles was making fun of people, wasn't he ever concerned that the person he was making fun of would mention something about Rickles being a mama's boy? It seems like it would be a good comeback that he would have no excuse for.


Well I think it was because his dad had died so he stayed with his mom. But I don't know for certain. His wife was a receptionist when he met her. Kinda b*tchy and he was being a smart-*ss. So it just seems to fit.

As for making fun of him, that's just a bad idea. Rickles was/is/and will always be the king when it comes to slinging insults. I love that guy.


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## WTFnooooo (Mar 27, 2010)

VanDamMan said:


> Don't want to burst your bubble, but no girl is going to publicly say "no I wouldn't date you, I am materialistic and shallow"
> 
> That said, its not a black or white thing. Its all in your attitude.


Probably not the "materialistic" and "shallow" parts but something along the lines of "you're a child, a boy, not a man".
Have you been to those dating sites?

I highly doubt it will happen here though.


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## IcemanKilmer (Feb 20, 2011)

PLarry said:


> As for making fun of him, that's just a bad idea. Rickles was/is/and will always be the king when it comes to slinging insults. I love that guy.


Yeah, i set myself up for that. We're talking about the ultimate comedic smack talker here (Rickles).

No matter what the person said, Rickles would find something far worse to use against them.


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

IcemanKilmer said:


> Yeah, i set myself up for that. We're talking about the ultimate comedic smack talker here (Rickles).
> 
> No matter what the person said, Rickles would find something far worse to use against them.


I don't think Rickles' career had taken hold at 30. Well into his thirties he was taking small guest shots on TV shows.


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