# Wtf am I? My brain tortures me!



## TonyRed (Jul 1, 2014)

So

I'm a 21 year old guy living in england.

I think I may be a narcissit. I had always had social anxiety problems but over the last year have struggled to discover my sexuslity. I now know I'm gay

The problems! Is that a lot of my social anxiety was because I struggled to connect with people. I would often display over the top emotion to compensate and then would feel anxiety becauae I couldn't maintain the mask.

I thought that now I understand myself and accept it bkah bakh that I would start to feel more of a connection and association with others but I don't really. I feel pretty much no anxiety around anyone and feel like I now have full control ov
er my words, thoughts and feelings. I'm more intrrested in what people have to offer rather than what they are saying.

I feel myself trying to take control of conversations

I always thought I was really special and had that feeling that I deserve results with minimum effort. I am constantly trying to startbusinesses with the sole intention to drive out competition and take over the market in whatever field it is locally.

Most of my goals are not unrealistic in themselves although the way I manifest the ideas (quick thoughts and no real research) makes them utterly pointless and just fantases.

I just get so stressed out with the constant "thinking in awesome andcan Achiever anything" to this "why do I think I'm awesome? I haven't achieved ****"

I think I might ofnbeen having (and possibly still am) having some type of manic episode.

I always research mental illness but never applied it to myself because I didn't want to trust my brain. But if I can learn more about why I get this powerful feeling like I'm the mosr clevr and deceiving person ever born... Then maybe I can use it to my advantage

I think ultimately Id be labeled by others as simply a narcissist... But even then, I just wanna understand it so I don't overwhlem myself and can attempt objectively assess myself and hen I think I'm going into the world of delusion and fantasy

Apologise for any mistakes! I write all this on my phone!


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## llodell88 (May 15, 2011)

Idk but if you're experiencing mania and those feelings come and go it might just be bipolar disorder. Mania can make sort of make you feel like you're god and better than other people...I mean I think i have experienced it from my meds and that's what I felt like I guess.


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## WanderingSoul (Apr 22, 2012)

Yup, sounds bipolarish.


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

Yes, sounds like bipolar.

It's good to hear that you have found your sexuality. I suppose the next step is to get treatment for bipolar.


If you talk down to person A, and then praise person A while describing him to person B, then you're narcisstist.


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## handheart (Feb 13, 2016)

Narcisism its a serious desease and afects you in life so try to fix it try to understand that nobody its not perfect in this life .Also the problem with your sexuality cause an conflict in your mind and you are afected .Maybe giving this book a try will help you .In my case i learn how to gain self confidence in me and to start loving me as a person and its important for you because you will gainn self confidence and also happy feelings


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