# Positive side effects of SA



## Steve215 (May 25, 2005)

So we all know the negative aspects of SA but what about the good things? Sounds absurd but I seriously think there are some advantages to SA. :stu 

Here's a list of good side effects of SA for me at least.

1. Considering SA keeps me chilling at home a lot when i'm not in college, i've got tons of time on my hands. I guess it's like the guy who spends years in prison and comes out with a PHD. I've got so much time on my hands I end up teaching myself new things just to kill time. Currently, i'm learning the guitar, teaching myself italian and japanese, reading tons of books about just about anything from philosphy to war to buddhism, teaching myself advanced math like calculus and i've just started getting really in depth in music theory. Without SA I seriously doubt i'd be doing all this, i'd probably be going out every night to bars like the rest of the people my age. That may sound like fun for the moment, but expanding your mind lasts forever while getting drunk with friends lasts only a night. :stu 

2. I feel i'm more sensitive to people. I get good and bad vibes off people I meet. I've only lived 22 years but throughout those years whenever i've gotten a bad vibe off someone they usually ended up doing something really messed up.

3. I think SA has actually helped me do better in homework like essay's. My instructor always has a one on one conference with students after you do a essay. Because of this, I find i'm litterally a perfectionist when it comes to writing papers. Mainly because i'm so nervous about her saying stuff like "You completely missed the topic", "your english is horrible", etc. I usually end up doing several rough drafts, proofreading it 5+ times and making sure it's the best I can possibly get it. Another plus is, if it's done really well the instructor barely has anything to say and the conference only lasts a couple minutes compared to 10+ if theres a lot of corrections she feels must be mentioned.

I don't know.. this probably sounds really stupid. I just think there are some good things about SA. Anyone else feel this way? What positive things do you think SA has contributed to?


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

.


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## Dove (Mar 14, 2005)

Less people to get gifts for on birthdays and Christmas. 

I also got more work done in class during high school since I had no one to socialize with whenever we had free time.


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## saint liebowitz (Apr 17, 2004)

well sgr215 you sound like an exceptional example of a SA person...

Um.. me for example... oh sure I learned stuff by not going out, but all my great knowledge of RPG's, strategy games, Sci-Fi and Fantasy Books, and other random misc. mish mash are not exactly things I am able to be overly proud with. They are just a bit too obscure to be useful except in the most rare of circles.

So... I don't know. I think if i had spent that time with people, doing...well... ANYTHING, I would have been learning social skills of all kinds AS WELL AS the video game stuff mebbe...

But who knows... I tend to look on the bright side of it, and call up this challenge of SA as a great motivator and my secret SUPER POWER in life, Muyahah!..

... well... 

... someday it'll be a superpower ...

Anyhow, awesome for you sgr215, keep up ze awesome work, good topic too!

-Colin


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## leilanistar (Jul 6, 2004)

Yes, there are definitely benefits associated with having SA...

1. I have an incredibly awesome and fun relationship with my husband and two flat-coated retrievers.

2. I am a home body and love being at home with my "three" family members.

3. I love the written word and prefer it to the spoken word.

4. Traveling wears me out, although I do it when I have to. I wouldn't mind doing some sight-seeing/visiting or teaching in another country--which some day I hope to do.

5. I spend less money because I can only go to certain stores alone.

6. I spend less on gas because I have a hard time driving anywhere alone.

Star


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## seagreen16 (Sep 24, 2005)

I like this topic . I'll have to think up how SA could possibly be positive. Like they say, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" or in Chinese, Crisis means opportunity, or there are a bunch of other quotes like that that I wish I could remember right now .


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

1. If I'd been social I probably wouldn't have spent so much time on computers, never would've learned any programming, and would have some boring job.

2. No chance of falling in with gangs, getting killed as or with a drunk driver coming back from a party, nor other social dangers. 

3. No danger of a disfunctional relationship/marriage. Nor being manipulated by aquantences with ill intent.

4. I think it made me a better writer (though not really better student like sgr). Growing up I'd fill my time writing stories, and have always appreciated the written word as my best means of expression.

5. Monetary savings from not having to try to impress anyone. If nobody ever comes over, it doesn't matter if I use boxes as furnature.


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## Molten Universe (Feb 17, 2005)

I spend a lot more time reading and writing because of SA, and I think I am more capable intellectually because of it. (At least, I'd _like_ to think that...)


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## SpesVitae (Oct 20, 2005)

In the book _The Shyness Solution _ by Catherine Gillet, shyness is described as a potential gift because it can make us gentle, compassionate, empathetic, modest, tactful and sensitive. I feel proud to be able to place a checkmark by each.


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## winduptoy (Jun 21, 2005)

Good thread!

I think it has made me sensitive and understanding towards others. I'm really forgiving and never judge people negatively if they seem nervous or something because I know what it's like.

Also, having little to no friends growing up has helped me become my own person and not succumb to peer pressure. All of my interests I became interested in by myself. No one influenced me. I'm not one of those people who likes something just because their friends do.

I also read a lot, fiction as well as non-fiction (like encyclopedias) and I guess that has made me smarter.


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## seagreen16 (Sep 24, 2005)

1) developed my introspection. As Emerson said, the unaware life is the unlived life or something like that. I know how I feel and don't conform to others.

2) led me to learn more about the mind, meditation, and more about alternative healing

3) led me to get more in touch with my feelings and learn to deal with negative emotions

4) forced me to learn to have a better relationship with myself

5) led to learn more about self-esteem and learning how to change things in yourself

6) led me to study about things more deeply than the average person.

7) has forced me to be an independent person. I don't need to have someone with me if I want to do something.


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## AnxiousAirman (Oct 15, 2004)

*SA Pays!*

Dove wrote:


> Less people to get gifts for on birthdays and Christmas.


HAHA, so true!...on that same note though, less to recieve. (hmm...sounds kinda selfish :teeth )

winduptoy wrote:


> I think it has made me sensitive and understanding towards others. I'm really forgiving and never judge people negatively if they seem nervous or something because I know what it's like.
> Also, having little to no friends growing up has helped me become my own person and not succumb to peer pressure. All of my interests I became interested in by myself. No one influenced me. I'm not one of those people who likes something just because their friends do.


I couldn't agree more. I'm definitely not like my peers, for better.....and for worse.
My lack of socializing in my off time allowed me to be more productive; that has resulted in(among many other things) getting promoted early!!! Which has got me about $300/mo more than if I hadn't! :banana
So you might say for me...SA has paid off!
(and will continue to if I study hard...I can make another promotion next year!)

As far as understanding what its like:
My unit's first seargant is really quiet, and was very nervous (blushing, quivering voice, jittering hands...the works!) talking at an AMU call where *everyone* shows up. I guess after that I sorta felt a lot more comfortable around him. (of course now he is leaving in a couple weeks! :sigh) I wish there were more role models with SA, I guess we just gotta keep our eyes peeled...they obviously won't be advertising themselves. :tiptoe


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## SVIIC (Apr 15, 2005)

> 1. Considering SA keeps me chilling at home a lot when i'm not in college, i've got tons of time on my hands. I guess it's like the guy who spends years in prison and comes out with a PHD. I've got so much time on my hands I end up teaching myself new things just to kill time. Currently, i'm learning the guitar, teaching myself italian and japanese, reading tons of books about just about anything from philosphy to war to buddhism, teaching myself advanced math like calculus and i've just started getting really in depth in music theory. Without SA I seriously doubt i'd be doing all this, i'd probably be going out every night to bars like the rest of the people my age. That may sound like fun for the moment, but expanding your mind lasts forever while getting drunk with friends lasts only a night.


I know this is a "no negative thoughts zone" of sorts but I'd just like to point out... why learn Italian and Japanese, when you're too shy to really use 'em?

I'm actually learning Japanese right now by chance, and, especially since it requires me to stay back an hour in school twice a week (and walk home in the dark in winter...), I'm sort of regretting I ever started. Bah. There's about 4 or 5 other people in the class with me but I'm still scared to ****ing death half the time and I still get so sweaty and stiff... I never should have done it. I'm not ready.


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## SVIIC (Apr 15, 2005)

> 3. I think SA has actually helped me do better in homework like essay's. My instructor always has a one on one conference with students after you do a essay. Because of this, I find i'm litterally a perfectionist when it comes to writing papers. Mainly because i'm so nervous about her saying stuff like "You completely missed the topic", "your english is horrible", etc. I usually end up doing several rough drafts, proofreading it 5+ times and making sure it's the best I can possibly get it. Another plus is, if it's done really well the instructor barely has anything to say and the conference only lasts a couple minutes compared to 10+ if theres a lot of corrections she feels must be mentioned.


Personally, it has the opposite effect on me. Even if I COULD do brilliant essays (maybe I could? I've just never really been able to let myself go in recent years), the thought of having it potentially read out for the class is enough to make me not want to do anything mindblowing... or even interesting.


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## lyssado707 (Oct 29, 2004)

I think SA has made me more observant of other people. Because I'm so obsessed with what other people are thinking, I tend to understand better why they do/say the things they do/say. Also, since I'm terrified of someone being mad at me or getting yelled at, I put a lot of energy into figuring out how something I might say would affect the other person and the reaction I would get. I don't know if that's pos. or neg.


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## ndircukm (Jan 2, 2006)

We know that when we're nervous about something our thoughts are scattered. We therefore look for things to focus on. This is a plus. Whatever we put our minds to we can accomplish. After a while, I think if we try we can look back on all we've accomplished and realize that if we've done all that, we can accomplish anything..-including tackling SA, or any negativity toward it. Myself? I find myself focusing on drums. I'll lose myself in my focus on the drums. I'll play for 2+ hours and not realize the time...every day. This afforded me great ability on the drums. Some day, when i can play in front of people, they'll say "where did this guy come from???!"


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## SVIIC (Apr 15, 2005)

> Whatever we put our minds to we can accomplish.


I find that if I want to do something there's always something blocking me from doing it, e.g. building my muscles - I don't have enough room for a bench and I think that at this stage, a gym is out of the question for transport and... other reasons.

I've never really accomplished anything. Anything that comes to mind as an accomplishment. Anything I might want to do is a far away fantasy that'll never even begin to come true.


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## ndircukm (Jan 2, 2006)

SVIIC, I'm sure you've accomplished plenty. I can relate to your post. Many days I wake up and feel like i have to do something amazing to be worth anything. This simply isn't true. We have only to get up and complete our basic obligations, and leave a little time for ourselves for reading, hobbies, volunteering, etc. -Reading a book is an accomplishment. Sponsoring a child in a foreign country is an accomplishment. being nice to a telemarketer is an accomplishment. If you really want to make some hobby a forte, you need to practice it everyday. even if it's just for five minutes.


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## SVIIC (Apr 15, 2005)

Speaking of reading a book, I just finished Catch-22 and today I'm going to finish A Christmas Carol and that only took me 4 days (incl. today). It was a very short book so I figured I'd read it. Meh, it's alright so far, I'm almost done.

It's just that... if there's anything I ever really want to do there's always something in the way and I always just end up giving up without ever even getting a chance to start properly and just going back to the computer...


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## ndircukm (Jan 2, 2006)

I gotcha. I have a problem with procrastination too. I've heard there are decent self help books on the subject. A lot of times i'll get sucked into the tv or computer (or drums). It seems like ocd kind of (but i've heard it's common in people with SA. In the back of my mind while i'm watching i'll think, hmm, i probably should be doing something else. But then I also think, Oh I'll just finish this one show. A couple hours later I'll think man, why the hell did i stay up so late watching tv. I didn't get anything out of it. 
I think it's good to catch myself when i'm doing something out of procrastination, and ask myself "What are the implications of my doing this right now? Am I putting something off? Why am I doing that? What will happen if i put it off? Is there a better way i could be spending my time?" Usually this helps me put things into perspective. I also find that the light ocd behavior can actually be an asset if you channel it to something like learning an instrument. It is a very easy way to get accomplished at something. Get obsessed with it


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## SVIIC (Apr 15, 2005)

> I gotcha. I have a problem with procrastination too. I've heard there are decent self help books on the subject. A lot of times i'll get sucked into the tv or computer (or drums). It seems like ocd kind of (but i've heard it's common in people with SA. In the back of my mind while i'm watching i'll think, hmm, i probably should be doing something else. But then I also think, Oh I'll just finish this one show. A couple hours later I'll think man, why the hell did i stay up so late watching tv. I didn't get anything out of it.


Yes... you know I think it IS related to OCD. It just feels that way for me.

It's so annoying... sometimes I'll want to go to bed at 11 or 11:30 or some time sane but... I just won't. It's hard to explain... it's like I'm wanting to go to bed at 11 all the way up to 11 but then... I just won't. I know I'll regret it later, and I do, but it's like I'm afraid of sleeping or I see it as a waste of time or something.

Another thing - do you sometimes find it very hard to "commit yourself" to watching a movie? Might sound strange, but when I'm going to watch a movie it's like I'm there thinking "I'll be here for the next 2 hours...". It's strange, I guess I just don't like things that last long. Yes... maybe it's that. I hate being in the middle of a book, there's so much left to read... I also hate being in the middle of a chapter for the same reason.

It's like I want to do loads of small things instead of commiting myself to starting something big and seeing it through. Maybe I DO have some kind of attention problem? But I don't think so. It's not like my thoughts wander. It's not like I'll even really get bored in the middle of a movie, it's just that before the movie I kind of... begrudge the loss of time to it.

Strange, isn't it?


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## ndircukm (Jan 2, 2006)

?[/quote]I know what you mean. I've experienced it too. As far as the movie thing goes, I sometimes feel bad about watching one since there are so many things i want to do. But I'll do it anyway. The theme is that we feel that we're just not doing enough. We feel there's something we should be doing but aren't , and we feel incapable because of it. We feel like we're being pulled in a million different directions to accomplish things, but because of that, we never get anywhere. That's a huge reason for anxiety. SOMETHING THAT HAS HELPED ME HERE: List the activities that draw too much of your attention; for you SVIIC, the computer. Pick a day, (maybe even a week) and tell yourself you are banned from that activity for the whole day. You'll be surprised at how much more efficient you might be. (for me, it was drums, tv, computer, and music. I ended up working out, doing all my homework, and learning about things ive always wanted to learn about but couldn't because i somehow never had time to start. NE Ways, if you want to talk further, which would b cool, you should pm me. This chat seems a bit too serious for this thread


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## SVIIC (Apr 15, 2005)

> I know what you mean. I've experienced it too. As far as the movie thing goes, I sometimes feel bad about watching one since there are so many things i want to do.


Yes... so many things to do, that's what it is. I know that no matter what I could do it'd just be wasting time anyway, it's a choice between - watch a movie, play a PC game, play an XBox game, play a PS2 game etc. but it's like... if I do either I can't do the others. I think that's why I don't go to sleep early - I like to keep doing stuff, that and before school days, I just don't want it to end... I want to do as much stuff as possible before school because once I go to bed then it's just school ahead of me.



> We feel like we're being pulled in a million different directions to accomplish things, but because of that, we never get anywhere.


Uh-huh... I know what you mean there... I think I have felt like that before... because I can never do anything important for any length of time so that it would actually make a difference, it feels like I'm just spending my life doing loads of short things that don't amount to anything.



> List the activities that draw too much of your attention; for you SVIIC, the computer. Pick a day, (maybe even a week) and tell yourself you are banned from that activity for the whole day. You'll be surprised at how much more efficient you might be. (for me, it was drums, tv, computer, and music. I ended up working out, doing all my homework, and learning about things ive always wanted to learn about but couldn't because i somehow never had time to start. NE Ways, if you want to talk further, which would b cool, you should pm me. This chat seems a bit too serious for this thread


Hmm... sounds a good idea to me. Yes, I can even imagine how it would help; by not allowing myself to do whatever time-sucking activity is, well, sucking my time away, I wouldn't be worrying that I could be doing that instead of whatever else might occupy my time. Only thing is: what else can I find to do? Ah well, I might give it a shot next week... my eyes could use a rest I think...


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## ndircukm (Jan 2, 2006)

Hmm... sounds a good idea to me. Yes, I can even imagine how it would help; by not allowing myself to do whatever time-sucking activity is, well, sucking my time away, I wouldn't be worrying that I could be doing that instead of whatever else might occupy my time. Only thing is: what else can I find to do? Ah well, I might give it a shot next week... my eyes could use a rest I think...[/quote]

You'll have to let me know how it goes, k? Good Luck!


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## JaneAnne (Oct 5, 2005)

yep. we're better love partners, because we're senstive...(especially if we have a sensitive partner). we are more low-key, therefore more myssterious..


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## Dante3214 (Jan 16, 2006)

I vote this as the best dam thread ever!

I hadn't looked at it that way!


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## Steve215 (May 25, 2005)

SVIIC said:


> > 1. Considering SA keeps me chilling at home a lot when i'm not in college, i've got tons of time on my hands. I guess it's like the guy who spends years in prison and comes out with a PHD. I've got so much time on my hands I end up teaching myself new things just to kill time. Currently, i'm learning the guitar, teaching myself italian and japanese, reading tons of books about just about anything from philosphy to war to buddhism, teaching myself advanced math like calculus and i've just started getting really in depth in music theory. Without SA I seriously doubt i'd be doing all this, i'd probably be going out every night to bars like the rest of the people my age. That may sound like fun for the moment, but expanding your mind lasts forever while getting drunk with friends lasts only a night.
> 
> 
> I know this is a "no negative thoughts zone" of sorts but I'd just like to point out... why learn Italian and Japanese, when you're too shy to really use 'em?
> ...


I basically started learning them for a personal accomplishment type deal. Most people in other countries seem to learn all these different languages yet in America we're not really forced to learn much at all. Maybe requirements are changing though? Anyhow, Japanese is a major plus in my major, computer science, and italian is just a beautiful language! I figure if I never use them here, I will definitely visit Italy and Japan one day. I can then look slick.. or maybe look like a stumbling, nervous, american trying to speak Japanese. :lol

I'm not taking either in college, just using the Pimsleur (sp?) tapes. It's the same thing the CIA uses. It's a really slick way of learning languages fast but correct!


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## born2run (Jan 20, 2006)

*some positive affects*

I agree with alot of you. I started playing guiar, piano, writing and reading all because I'm so damn nervous to do other "group activities." The hard part though is that I'm getting pretty good as a musician, and I want to write and record and play for people, but that just seems like it will never come to fruition because of SA. Any advice?


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## Dante3214 (Jan 16, 2006)

*Re: some positive affects*



born2run said:


> I agree with alot of you. I started playing guiar, piano, writing and reading all because I'm so @#$% nervous to do other "group activities." The hard part though is that I'm getting pretty good as a musician, and I want to write and record and play for people, but that just seems like it will never come to fruition because of SA. Any advice?


Yeah, start doing it in front of 1-2 friends.

And tell them that you're nervous and have issues blah blah, this in turn will make you a bit more comfortable.

You gotta start somewhere!


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## ate16am (Dec 23, 2005)

SteveR said:


> I get good and bad vibes off people I meet. I've only lived 22 years but throughout those years whenever i've gotten a bad vibe off someone they usually ended up doing something really messed up.


I never really attributed it to SA, but I _SO_ feel like I can "read" people when I first meet them. A friend of mine used to ask me to hang out with her and whichever new guy she was interested in, to see what I thought of him. It made me a little uncomfortable sometimes, but she said I was always right. I'm kind of proud that I'm a pretty accurate judge of character.


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## ndircukm (Jan 2, 2006)

born 2 run: IT was good advice. If you start doing it in front of a couple people, (if you really are good) you'll discover that its what you should be doing. they wont think negatively, and youre ability will skyrocket from there.


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## nairam (Jun 9, 2006)

1. becoz of it I've learned to trust God more and have a very close relationship with Him. 

2. I could spend a lot of time with my family and my dogs. 

3. I've learned to really treasure my every relationship (may it be friendly, romantic or even civil) with others. 

4. I've learned to appreciate even the little things in the world. (like my everyday triumph with SA which i think isn't a big deal with "normal" people)


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